# June Baby Angels



## sweetmommaof2

My due date was June 17th. I found out November 1st I lost the baby at the 5 week mark (I had a missed miscarriage). It is hard in itself to have lost the baby and now I found out two of my really close friends that are due june 27th and 30th... Doctor said after I get my HCG levels checked on the 14th, if they are down to normal levels I can start trying agian... I am scared to... Is this normal? Anyone else going through this??? 
:angel: :flow:


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## Mandy04

My due date would of been June 14, 2013. I was around 12wks and found out yesterday baby stopped at 8wks and 3days with no cardiac activity identified. It's upseting. I have 4 babies never had a mc and wondering y I could'nt carry this one. I am so sorry for your loss. I really ha e no advice this being my first mc. Have you passed anything as of yet? Or are on the waiting game?


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## sweetmommaof2

I choose to take the pill... my doctor gave me 3 options. 1. D&C but adviced not to because of my fears of surgery, knives, needles, etc. 2. Wait it out and let my body naturally do it... she said this would be best but also adviced not to because my body was doing everything in its power to hold it in and it could take up to a month and she also worried about my mental health. 3. Take the pills to medically speed up the process... she told me the pros and cons but I decided to go with this one. Started them on the 2nd and passed the baby at 10pm on sunday the 4th. I am sorry for your loss. It is hard. I have 2 girls already and don't understand how this happened either. I am thinking it was because during the 5th week the heart is forming and maybe it just didn't form correct...


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## angel2010

I was due on June 11th. My baby stopped growing at 8+3, I just found out this past wed. I passed the baby last night and the pain was awful. My doctor would like us to wait two cycles before ttc again and I am okay with that. My dh finishes getting his masts in Aug and we have to many bdays in Sept. So an October baby would be great. I feel much better emotionally now that it is over.


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## sweetmommaof2

I am so sorry for your loss. My doctor prescribed ibuprofen 600mg and hydrocodone-acetaminophen 5-500 to help with the pain. I found out at 7 weeks 4 days... and lost the baby they said in the beginning of the 5th week.... I thought we were suppose to wait after having a miscarriage and found it kind of shocking that if my hcg levels were fine on the 14th that we could start trying right away again... I thought it was at least 2 mo. like your dr. said... congrats to your hubby on his masters, and I know what you mean by a lot of bdays in a month lol... my family is like that with feb. and beginning of march... 8 bdays! Good luck and keep me posted on whats all going on


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## nessaw

hi my baby was due 7th june.am miscarrying at the moment.we had a 9 wk scan that showed a 5 wk sac.went back on fri to confirm and took first pill then going back in today for the remaining pills.the nurse said to me to wait until first period then u know everything is def out but a lot of what i've read is this is for dating.it took us 20 months to get our bfp so dont want to wait.am thinking ntnp when the bleeding stops and then get going with the opks next month.sorry for ur losses and best of luck to all of us.x


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## Mandy04

Does anyone know what their hcg levels were when they found out they loss?? I'm just curious sorry if I'm being nosey. Mine was 1,207 I was 12wks..we all know that's too low..but baby died at 8+3...and to me that's still to low. Would my hcg levels go back down even though I have not passed the baby yet?


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## angel2010

sweetmommaof2 said:


> congrats to your hubby on his masters, and I know what you mean by a lot of bdays in a month lol... my family is like that with feb. and beginning of march... 8 bdays! Good luck and keep me posted on whats all going on

Thanks. I am glad you could understand what I wrote. Was on the Vicodin when I wrote it and it really makes me feel drunk. 

I am not sure of my levels on Wed when I found out, but they did take some blood on the Monday before. I am not sure if they tested hcg, but I know at that point my progesterone was already 7.4. When I go back to the dr I am going to ask if they did an hcg test.


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## Mandy04

Yea! I think that's good to get it tested. Make sire its going down. Or you could keep taking hpt till they come back bfn


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## amjon

Mandy04 said:


> Does anyone know what their hcg levels were when they found out they loss?? I'm just curious sorry if I'm being nosey. Mine was 1,207 I was 12wks..we all know that's too low..but baby died at 8+3...and to me that's still to low. Would my hcg levels go back down even though I have not passed the baby yet?

Mine were 22,000 and took 6 weeks to drop below 5. I was 9 weeks; baby stopped growing at 6.


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## Mandy04

Yea see mine was 1,207 @12 wks but baby died at 8...I have'nt passed anything and I still have pregnancy symptoms...its all confusing lol


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## sweetmommaof2

nessaw said:


> hi my baby was due 7th june.am miscarrying at the moment.we had a 9 wk scan that showed a 5 wk sac.went back on fri to confirm and took first pill then going back in today for the remaining pills.the nurse said to me to wait until first period then u know everything is def out but a lot of what i've read is this is for dating.it took us 20 months to get our bfp so dont want to wait.am thinking ntnp when the bleeding stops and then get going with the opks next month.sorry for ur losses and best of luck to all of us.x

I am so sorry for your loss sweetie! I am so sorry I am still really new at this site and realize bfp is big fat positive, opks are ovulation prediction kits? and I have no idea what ntnp means. I hope everyone is ok with me asking what all this means. Hugs and prayers that you have a healthy and happy pregnancy soon :flower: :hugs:


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## sweetmommaof2

Mandy04 said:


> Does anyone know what their hcg levels were when they found out they loss?? I'm just curious sorry if I'm being nosey. Mine was 1,207 I was 12wks..we all know that's too low..but baby died at 8+3...and to me that's still to low. Would my hcg levels go back down even though I have not passed the baby yet?

When I went into the hospital on Thursday 10-25-2012 (6 wks 3 days) my hcg levels were 3054. On Sunday 10-28-2012 (6 wks 6 days) they were 3278. Then on Wednesday 10-31-2012 (7 wks 2 days) they were 3428...They did many ultrasounds and determined there had been no fetal developement and still no heart beat. They told me the reason why my #'s kept rising was because I still had a healthy placenta but the baby did not make it. It was very heard to decide what to do and if we should wait for my body to naturally release it or to have medical assistance. For my mental sake we choose after a lot of praying with my husband to take the pills and do it on our own time. We started the process Friday 11-2-2012 and delivered the baby on Sunday 11-4-2012. Mentally and physically I am doing a lot better now. I go in on the 14th to get my #'s checked again to make sure they went down below 5... they also had me stop taking my prenatals as that can keep your #'s up... Hugs and condolenses to everyone. I am glad we can all be here together to get through this hard time together and know that we are not alone. :hugs: :flower: :dust: :hug: <3


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## jessandaj

Im so sorry :( my due date was supposed to be june 9th. I found out i lost the baby sept 2nd. I was 4w 1d since i knew pretty much when the baby implanted and found out a week early. Its so hard cause 3 weeks after my sister in law says shes pregnant again and its due for june something or another i honestly dont remember or look cause ive blocked it out for my own sanity. I know ill still love my nephew or niece but watching them grow and knowing thats what my baby should be doing is going to be hard.


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## sweetmommaof2

jessandaj said:


> Im so sorry :( my due date was supposed to be june 9th. I found out i lost the baby sept 2nd. I was 4w 1d since i knew pretty much when the baby implanted and found out a week early. Its so hard cause 3 weeks after my sister in law says shes pregnant again and its due for june something or another i honestly dont remember or look cause ive blocked it out for my own sanity. I know ill still love my nephew or niece but watching them grow and knowing thats what my baby should be doing is going to be hard.

I am so sorry for your loss... I wish there was something I can say to help all of us. I have 2 really close friends and 1 of them I see on almost a daily basis is pregnant. Due date would have been june 17th and theirs are the 27th and 30th. I want everyone to know I do not really go on here during the week but the weekends I will be going on more regularly so if you ever want to private message me you are more than welcome to and I will answer as soon as I can. I am gone from 730 am til 7 pm... so it is hard for me to do anything once I get home. :flower: :hugs: :hug: <3 O:)


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## nessaw

hi sweetmomma.ntnp means not trying not preventing.so for me that will mean still dtd (doing the deed) but i won't be actively looking for ov date and doing it around then.


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## sweetmommaof2

nessaw said:


> hi sweetmomma.ntnp means not trying not preventing.so for me that will mean still dtd (doing the deed) but i won't be actively looking for ov date and doing it around then.

Thanks nessa... I hope you get a bfp again soon. I noticed that you go in to get your pills put in... they sent mine home with me to do it at home... did you get a different kind of meds than me or is it just different places do it different??? I took Misoprostol 800 mg (4 tablets cut in half) twice... once friday night and again 12 hrs later saturday morning.... 
:hugs: :flower: :dust: :hug: <3


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## nessaw

hi i had all 4 inserted by a nurse sun morning.presume they do that so that they know they r in properly.r u in the uk?depending on hiw far u are along they keep u in after.i was under 9 wks so i went home.


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## sweetmommaof2

nessaw said:


> hi i had all 4 inserted by a nurse sun morning.presume they do that so that they know they r in properly.r u in the uk?depending on hiw far u are along they keep u in after.i was under 9 wks so i went home.

I was 7 weeks 6 days when I delivered/passed the baby but it passed away at the 5 week mark. I live in the USA... they sent my step sister home also... she was 12 weeks when she found out her baby passed away at the 6 week mark. I think I would prefer them to have put it in... not only because to ensure proper placement but just so I didn't have to place it... well I actually had my husband do it but it was emotionally and mentally hard to do it ourselves.


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## Mizze

Well ladies another one of the June babies didnt make it - I found out last night that my 11+2 baby was measuring 7+2 and had no hb - we saw a HB at 6+6 :cry:

3rd mmc for me and frankly I think ive had enough now - time to count the blessings I do have. Seeing Dr later about options as I have had 1 tiny clot and wipe of blood and that was it, over 24 hrs ago. Have had 2 operations in the past - 
Mizze x


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## angel2010

I'm so sorry Miizze:hugs:


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## sweetmommaof2

Mizze said:


> Well ladies another one of the June babies didnt make it - I found out last night that my 11+2 baby was measuring 7+2 and had no hb - we saw a HB at 6+6 :cry: 3rd mmc for me and frankly I think ive had enough now - time to count the blessings I do have. Seeing Dr later about options as I have had 1 tiny clot and wipe of blood and that was it, over 24 hrs ago. Have had 2 operations in the past - Mizze x

Oh Mizze! I am so sorry for your loss! I will keep you in my prayers. I hope you find an amazing doctor that can help you. :hugs: :flow: <3 :hug: If you ever need to talk just message me!


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## Mizze

thanks ladies - its a sad thread to belong to but one where we can help each other out a bit hopefully

I feel fine - apart from having no energy and no ability to sleep (gave up at 4am) I also have a stinking cold. But im not grieving and having been through this twice before I know my reaction isnt the same as previously. It doesnt help I think that after that 1 wipe of blood Monday morning and 1 tiny clot about 3 hours later I have NOTHING to show that my baby died - and died a month ago - I hate that, I really hate (I remember last time being FILLED with rage about this) that my body betrays me by lying to me about being pregnant when im not. I hate it gives me symtoms - my nausea was almost constant and certainly daily until Sunday ffs! 

But all of that is something I can think about dispationately - im not FEELING anything really - ive barely cried in the last 36 hrs - and im a huge crier - I cry at everything and I sobbed my way through the first days of both previous mmc's. This time I cried yesterday morning because I realised this time had really hit my husband hard - now (after the birth of our DD whom he adores) he realises what we have lost in a way he simply couldnt understand before and he is grieving hard this time whereas last time his role was to support me in my grief more than anything else. 

Sorry this post has gone all rambly! 

I am seeing my early preg unit at 10.10 tomorrow - although I have the results of the private scan (seen Monday evening) which confirmed the mmc they want to confirm it for themselves before they talk "options" 

Mizzze xx


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## nessaw

Mizzee am so sorry.

Its amazing how the body carries on with the symptoms.in my case i had them until the day of the scan.the day after they were gone.i suppose the brain kicks in and takes charge.

Am just so sorry that any of us have ended up in this thread.love to u all x


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## Mizze

Good night's sleep last night - courtesey of Night Nurse - but feel a little groggy today - I had my first tablet at the hospital this morning and have to go back Saturday for the rest. I was a bit shocked when the nurse said that if I started bleeding heavily in between then could I save it and bring it in with me so they could see if id passed all of the pregnancy - that shook me I have to say. Frankly I have no idea whether I can do that. Even in hosptial I have to take a bedpan with me when I go to the loo so they can examine what is happening. Im not at all sure id have chosen this route if I knew that yesterday. 

Anyway - the disconnect continues - I was able to chat unconcernedly with the 4th yr medical student who asked for an interview - its not as though its happening to someone else but it is as though the loss isnt touching me. Weird and a bit odd to be honest -I wasnt like this with the previous losses at all

I hope everyone is doing as well as they can be :hugs: to all 

Mizze x


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## cupcake1981

Hey Mizze

I joined the June 2013 PAL thread a few weeks into my pregnancy, but left quickly again as a few girls were having spottimg and stuff and it was scaring me as I'd had a loss b4. I still pop on that thread occasionally to see how everyone's doing and saw your sad news the other day. I sadly lost my baby 2 weeks ago, my second mmc, this time at 9 weeks and baby only 8+3. Mmc is torture isn't it. I don't trust my body at all anymore, although the scary post operative bleeding I had was enough to convince me that I NEVER want to go through a natural mc either.

I'm so sorry you find yourself here hun, I hate that I'm back in the miscarriage forum again. It totally sucks.

You have a child dont you? Take comfort in having her around. Mcs are awful, awful things, but they are even worse if you can imagine it when youve don't have a child already.

Hugs xxx


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## bluebird

Cupcake and Mizze- I'm so sorry. Big hugs to the both of you, I had a MMC that we discovered last Wednesday at 11 weeks. This is so hard, I miss my June baby so so so much.


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## Mizze

mmc's are the pits - after my second one I wanted my Faith back so I could march down to the local church and scream blue murder at my priest! I felt so betrayed by my body

This time Im numb - I didnt trust my body this time round I have learnt it lies to me in pregnancy and this time the lie was really powerful as my nausea mirrored the successful pregnancy (my third) with my daughter lulling me into a false sense of security as it was so much stronger than with my previous miscarriages. But this time I know all this but there is no emotion to go alongside the knowledge. 

Cupcake is right though, in some ways its far easier because I have a child. In other ways its harder because she might now never know the joy of a sibling in the way DH and I (who are so close to our families) do and I know DH finds this mc harder because he really grasps what we have lost this time. 

Mizze xx


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## bluebird

This is so so hard. How old is your little girl? Mine is 16 months and I want her to have a sibling so badly. I was so excited for her to have a little brother/sister just 2 years younger than her.... It would have been so much fun for the two of them. It hurts so much that we were given that gift and now its gone.
I hope you don't give up and I hope that you are able to give that priceless gift to your daughter one day.


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## sweetmommaof2

Had a hard past two days... first on tuesday one of my friends that are preggers with a june baby had her dating ultrasound and her baby was a week and a half behind what mine was... it hurt because I heard her say just a few weeks before she got preggers that she didn't want another baby and now she is super excited (she got pregnant while using bc)... then yesterday was my follow up which was suppose to be my dating ultrasound... I am happy for her but it breaks my heart on why couldn't I be enjoying these joys with her... Yesterday was my follow up to check and make sure everything is ok... Everything checked out ok... there was still some blood in my uterus so she said I will probably start spotting again soon... they also seen my uterus is completely flipped backwards, they said that wouldn't do anything in my pregnancy except make it so I don't show til the 20 week mark... she said that she doesn't want me to do anything til I have had 3 normal cycles... yay fun... she said it could take up to 4-6 weeks for my #s to drop down to the 5 or less mark... got the results of that today and it was good news... well not really but it is for what has all happened... it has already dropped down to 8.4 so a lot faster that what the normal is then... hugs and love to all... 
Just wanted to say yes this is a sad thread... I made it because I wanted to be able to talk about what had happened and how I feel and also find out what others are going through and maybe we can help eachother and I feel none of you would judge me if I posted something sad... hugs ladies and will be praying for all of you


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## Megan1986

Our June angel was due June 7. D&C at 8w5d, didnt measure past 6w3d. We saw a hb at 6w0d. Baby Hope was taken too soon, but we loved him/her very much.


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## Mizze

Sweet :hug: One of my best friends is having her baby in January - Im seeing her today for the first time since I found out - its going to be damn hard. I dont begrudge her happiness (she had years of ttc and 3 failed iui's before she caught) but its going to be difficult. This thread is what we need - thank you for starting it xx

Megan :hug: :hug: xxxx 

Feel rubbish but no bleeding from the tablets as yet - still on for the hospital tomorrow :(
Still feeling detached from it all and am starting to worry that it will all come crashing over me like a great tsunami when I do start to bleed- hope that makes sense. 

:hug: and support to all xx

Mizze xx


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## sweetmommaof2

Megan1986 said:


> Our June angel was due June 7. D&C at 8w5d, didnt measure past 6w3d. We saw a hb at 6w0d. Baby Hope was taken too soon, but we loved him/her very much.

I am so sorry for your loss megan! lots of hugs! :hug:


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## sweetmommaof2

Mizze said:


> Sweet :hug: One of my best friends is having her baby in January - Im seeing her today for the first time since I found out - its going to be damn hard. I dont begrudge her happiness (she had years of ttc and 3 failed iui's before she caught) but its going to be difficult. This thread is what we need - thank you for starting it xx Megan :hug: :hug: xxxx Feel rubbish but no bleeding from the tablets as yet - still on for the hospital tomorrow :( Still feeling detached from it all and am starting to worry that it will all come crashing over me like a great tsunami when I do start to bleed- hope that makes sense. :hug: and support to all xx Mizze xx

It makes a lot of sense to me. That is how I felt... I was bleeding for over a week before I even started the medication so I felt really numb until I passed the baby. When it does happen just know we are here for you! lots of hugs and stay strong. I know it is hard as I see one of my friends all the time that would be a week and a half behind what I would have been. Stay strong and know that we are here! :hug: :hug: x


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## sweetmommaof2

Mizze how did your visit go today??? Hope you are doing ok. 
Today was a very long and tiring day... didnt get to bed til midnight... woke up coughing and couldn't stop or fall back to sleep for 3 hrs! then had to wake up at 6 to get the girls to school and head to work... started early... 930 and we close at 6... every minute after 6 the parents get charged a dollar and minute... one set of parents didn't show up til 620 and the other set not til 730 (I took her son off the clock because that would just be way too much money and we had our fall festival going on so I took him to it) finally got home around 845 pm and am just tired! super tired! I think I am getting a lot tired lately is because my body still isn't fully recovered from my mmc... night everyone lots of hugs and prayers xx


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## Mizze

Sweet hun, get some rest! :hug: xxx 

Well the visit from my friend was fine even when I hugged her and felt the bump I felt nothing - the only thing I wanted to do was give it a pat and say hi - How disconnected am I! 

Hosptial in an hour - feel scared- They want me to take a bedpan to the loo and bring out everything I pass -the thought makes me feel terrified and sick. Im committed now but oh man I wish I didnt have to do that

Love to all - especically to a dear friend who has just found herself in the same situation :cry: :hug:

Mizze xx


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## MrsPhez

Mizze said:


> Sweet hun, get some rest! :hug: xxx
> 
> Well the visit from my friend was fine even when I hugged her and felt the bump I felt nothing - the only thing I wanted to do was give it a pat and say hi - How disconnected am I!
> 
> Hosptial in an hour - feel scared- They want me to take a bedpan to the loo and bring out everything I pass -the thought makes me feel terrified and sick. Im committed now but oh man I wish I didnt have to do that
> 
> Love to all - especically to a dear friend who has just found herself in the same situation :cry: :hug:
> 
> Mizze xx

Oh Mizze, I'm so so sorry. I haven't been on this thread at all, even though I should because you know I also lost my June bean at the end of October. But you have been through so much with your mmcs. I feel the same as you really, hardly cried apart from when friendscan pics started appearing on FB. Maybe because we will try again.....count your blessings for the one you do have, as I do, you don't realise what miracles they are until you go through a m/c....sending you big hugs and hope your hubby is OK :hugs:


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## cupcake1981

Mizze hope it all goes to plan today and you get through it as best you can xxx


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## angel2010

:hugs:Mizze


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## MrsPhez

Thinking of you today Mizze :hugs:

So I also lost a June baby, due the 10th and lost at 7.5 weeks but don't think it was really 7.5 weeks, I think it may even have been a blighted ovum as my HCG 3 days after I started bleeding was only 217. Hada natural, pain-free m/c which lasted 11 days and HCG 3 days later was 11.
I'm ready to give it another shot so have started opks and charting.

Sorry for all the recent losses :hugs:


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## kjjh

My due date was June 6th. I found out before I missed my period, I just knew I was pregnant. I miscarried on Monday 12th november :(


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## BeHopeful

I had a D&C yesterday and cannot believe the emotional roller coaster I am on. I found out 4 weeks ago there was no heartbeat and re confirmed when I should have been 8 weeks along. I cried the day it was confirmed but since then I have been fine. Thought I was handling it quite well until yesterday. Now I just want to cry all day. Physically I feel great so I guess that is a plus.


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## sweetmommaof2

Mizze~my thoughts and prayers are with you today. lots of :hugs: sending your way.
All of you who are new~ I am so sorry for your losses... :hug: :hugs: :hug: 
Today I got a call from my pharmacy saying there is a medication ready for me... called them and it is called glyburide... I was never told I had diabeties... I know I am hypoglycemic (too low) but never too high... hope that was just a mistake as I know a medical student is helping my doctor... on the 14th all I am aware of them testing is my hcg's and to check I am not anemic... not diabetic... I know my blood pressure was low but that has nothing to do with blood sugars... I don't know. Will have to wait til monday to see what all is going on... praying it is all just a mistake...
:hug: :hug:


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## Mizze

Oh Sweet hun - FX its just a mistake :hugs:

WARNING - TMI and UPSETTING POST - 




Well its done now - and it was the most awful experience of my life - It was fine, uncomfortable but fine right up until the nurse for reasons I CANNOT fathom showed me - totally unasked and definately unwanted - my dead baby in a jar! :cry:


Thats now an image that will stay will me forever and I wasnt quick enough to not see it. And, I know not everyone feels like this but I do VERY strongly, under NO circumstances can I ever imagine wanting to see that - And now I cant see anything else.:cry:

It certainly broke down my barriers - cos Im certainly feeling something now - mainly murderous towards that nurse. 

I WILL be making a complaint 

Mizze x


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## cupcake1981

Oh Mizze what an awful thing for her to do, that is an awful picture to have in your head hun and there's nothing you can do to get rid of that mental picture now, but hopefully in time the memory will fade xxx


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## MrsPhez

Mizze said:


> Oh Sweet hun - FX its just a mistake :hugs:
> 
> WARNING - TMI and UPSETTING POST -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Well its done now - and it was the most awful experience of my life - It was fine, uncomfortable but fine right up until the nurse for reasons I CANNOT fathom showed me - totally unasked and definately unwanted - my dead baby in a jar! :cry:
> 
> 
> Thats now an image that will stay will me forever and I wasnt quick enough to not see it. And, I know not everyone feels like this but I do VERY strongly, under NO circumstances can I ever imagine wanting to see that - And now I cant see anything else.:cry:
> 
> It certainly broke down my barriers - cos Im certainly feeling something now - mainly murderous towards that nurse.
> 
> I WILL be making a complaint
> 
> Mizze x

Oh you poor thing, and you were doing so well. What a stupid woman, not even considering to ask you first. I'm seriously shocked and feel so sad for you. I hope you can find the strength to get beyond what you saw today, hope you can feel the virtual hugs I'm sending, they're whoppers


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## nessaw

Mizze am so sorry u poor thing.get that complaint in.xx


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## angel2010

Oh Mizze I am so sorry! How thoughtless of her!:hugs:


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## jessandaj

Im so sorry mizze, i cannot believe she would just show it to you like it some kind of neat object that you don't have millions of feelings for. Very rude and uncalled for of her. I would deffenitly get in a complaint.


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## NMichMomma

:hug:_Because I Think we all need a HUGE Hug right now _:hug:

_I am 38 and I am just now starting to miscarry. I cried so hard last night, I felt empty and alone. Today has been far better. I needed to let out all that emotion. My baby failed to develop at all My US showed an empty sac. I believe it is called a Blighted Ovum. Not totally sure. I would be 10-11 weeks if things had panned out. My body held onto this pregnancy for all it's worth and is now finally letting go. Im ready though. I had a gut feeling at my first scan things were not fine. The dating was all off according to my inner voice, and I was right. Im not even sure what my due date would have been. But I had to guess it would have been Mid-June. Many prayers for all of you. This has been a horrible ride, but I know that with time and support I will get through this. I have an incredible support system and feel very blessed. Please, if it feels better to talk about it then find someone who will understand and just vent, cry etc. Holding it in is torture. God Bless and if you are going to being TTC I will have my fingers crossed for you!! _


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## sweetmommaof2

Mizze said:


> Oh Sweet hun - FX its just a mistake :hugs:
> 
> WARNING - TMI and UPSETTING POST -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Well its done now - and it was the most awful experience of my life - It was fine, uncomfortable but fine right up until the nurse for reasons I CANNOT fathom showed me - totally unasked and definately unwanted - my dead baby in a jar! :cry:
> 
> 
> Thats now an image that will stay will me forever and I wasnt quick enough to not see it. And, I know not everyone feels like this but I do VERY strongly, under NO circumstances can I ever imagine wanting to see that - And now I cant see anything else.:cry:
> 
> It certainly broke down my barriers - cos Im certainly feeling something now - mainly murderous towards that nurse.
> 
> I WILL be making a complaint
> 
> Mizze x

I am so sorry sweetie! That was not very nice of them... Lots of :hugs: :hug: wish I was able to be there to help you. Get some rest and remember to try to relax. xx


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## Mizze

Massive thank yous and huge :hugs: :hugs: :hug: for us all

I am struggling a bit to be honest I keep seeing the image over and over and over. I will definately be making a strongly worded complaint as I do not want ANY woman to have that done to her. Its made this whole experience a 1000 times worse. 

Mizze xxx xxx


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## cupcake1981

Defo make a complaint hun, disgusting and insensitive behaviour. Is go so far as to try and get some counselling on the NHS for that to!!!!


----------



## tmomma1980

I'm afraid my baby might have died 2 nights ago. After sex I noticed my uterus feeling really tense and sorelike I had been doin situps I tried to shake the feeling but For the rest of the night it seemed like something just wasn't right. I felt like I was having contractions and chills kept shotting thru my body for the rest of the night, I couldn't even sleep. Ever since that night I've ben feeling a disconnect, like I might not be pregnant anymore. I just really have a bad feeling. My next apt is not till next Wed. I dnt want to have to wait that long to find out. I just need to hear a heartbeat or something.


----------



## tmomma1980

I'm sorry I did not mean to post here. But has any of you recall a similar ecperience with a miscarriage


----------



## tmomma1980

I'm afraid my baby might have died 2 nights ago. After sex I noticed my uterus feeling really tense and sorelike I had been doin situps I tried to shake the feeling but For the rest of the night it seemed like something just wasn't right. I felt like I was having contractions and chills kept shotting thru my body for the rest of the night, I couldn't even sleep. Ever since that night I've ben feeling a disconnect, like I might not be pregnant anymore. I just really have a bad feeling. My next apt is not till next Wed. I dnt want to have to wait that long to find out. I just need to hear a heartbeat or something.


----------



## cupcake1981

Hey tmomma 

It's not unusual for things to feel strange downstairs after sex. How are ur symptoms, are they still strong?


----------



## sweetmommaof2

Some how I accidentally deleted my subscription on this thread... Hopefully reposting on here will get it to come back up... 
It is normal to have contractions after sex.... If your worried take it easy for a few days... It is even normal to spot if it was a little rough... Hope everything is ok and try to stay positive...

Mizze- I am so sorry they did that to you!!! Still can't believe you had to go through that... They had me do it at home... I got lucky and it came out (sorry tmi) in my pad and not the toilet so we wrapped it in a paper towel, put that into a ziplock bag and got a plant and buried it outside.... Couldn't flush it or just throw it away... It is my baby and can't afford to get anything from the cemetaries... Also the baby passed away at the 5 week mark even though I passed it at the 8 week mark....

Hugs and prayers for all and happy thanksgiving if I don't get back on by Thursday :)


----------



## nessaw

Just had my flu jab that i booked because i was pregnant.:-(fingers crossed i'll need it soon.


----------



## roomaloo

Was due June 15th but had a m/c 4 weeks ago at 7 weeks :( just got af today and it's way worse than usual, but hopefully means by body is getting back to normal


----------



## Megan1986

roomaloo said:


> Was due June 15th but had a m/c 4 weeks ago at 7 weeks :( just got af today and it's way worse than usual, but hopefully means by body is getting back to normal

I am waiting for mine to show up. I want my body to get back to normal too. :hugs: friend!


----------



## Megan1986

Yesturday would have been 12 weeks. Thursday we were going to announce it to the world. We hung a special angel ornament on our tree in memory of baby Hope.


----------



## angel2010

I like that, I think we will get an ornament too. I have already had my son pick out a small stuffed animal. We are going to put it in a keepsake box with my pregnancy journal and ultrasound pics. I also got my dh a leather bracelet engraved with the baby's initials and the date I passed her. We were also going to announce it to the world Thursday because I would have been exactly 12 weeks too.


----------



## sweetmommaof2

:hug: :hugs: to all... I also like the ornament idea... think we will do that also. Mizze~ how are you holding up? I hope you have been able to start some of the healing process...
Also what does AF mean?


----------



## nessaw

Tomorrow would.have been our 12 wk scan and then we were going to announce it toi.:-( I like the idea of an ornament.I think I'll get one.


----------



## angel2010

sweetmommaof2 said:


> :hug: :hugs: to all... I also like the ornament idea... think we will do that also. Mizze~ how are you holding up? I hope you have been able to start some of the healing process...
> Also what does AF mean?

Aunt Flow or period:flower:


----------



## sweetmommaof2

I am still waiting for my first AF also... (know than I know what it means lol)... today would have been 10 weeks 6 days... we were going to wait til after the first trimester to tell everyone... only family and people we seen on a day to day basis knew... which was still quite a bit of people... hugs to us all :hug: :hugs:


----------



## JadeEmChar

I was due in june at some point I have no idea when because I wasn't keeping a record of when my lmp was. Went in for a dating scan to see only a sac then went back 3 weeks later to see only a gs again. My hcg had gotten to 45,000 at supposedly 8 weeks. 

I would have had 2 children in march and 2 in june :( 

Sending massive virtual hugs to you all


----------



## sweetmommaof2

JadeEmChar said:


> I was due in june at some point I have no idea when because I wasn't keeping a record of when my lmp was. Went in for a dating scan to see only a sac then went back 3 weeks later to see only a gs again. My hcg had gotten to 45,000 at supposedly 8 weeks.
> 
> I would have had 2 children in march and 2 in june :(
> 
> Sending massive virtual hugs to you all

I am so sorry for your many loses.... :hug: :hugs:


----------



## Megan1986

angel2010 said:


> I like that, I think we will get an ornament too. I have already had my son pick out a small stuffed animal. We are going to put it in a keepsake box with my pregnancy journal and ultrasound pics. I also got my dh a leather bracelet engraved with the baby's initials and the date I passed her. We were also going to announce it to the world Thursday because I would have been exactly 12 weeks too.

I need to make a memory box too. I have a couple of pictures and a journal I started that I can't face yet. I am open to talking about it but sometimes the emotions build up again. A friend announced they are expecting yesterday.


----------



## angel2010

Megan1986 said:


> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> I like that, I think we will get an ornament too. I have already had my son pick out a small stuffed animal. We are going to put it in a keepsake box with my pregnancy journal and ultrasound pics. I also got my dh a leather bracelet engraved with the baby's initials and the date I passed her. We were also going to announce it to the world Thursday because I would have been exactly 12 weeks too.
> 
> I need to make a memory box too. I have a couple of pictures and a journal I started that I can't face yet. I am open to talking about it but sometimes the emotions build up again. A friend announced they are expecting yesterday.Click to expand...

I kept all my pregnancy stuff in a drawer and I have not been able to open it up yet. I hope you are okay with hearing about your friend and all. I know it is hard.:hugs:


----------



## Megan1986

angel2010 said:


> Megan1986 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> I like that, I think we will get an ornament too. I have already had my son pick out a small stuffed animal. We are going to put it in a keepsake box with my pregnancy journal and ultrasound pics. I also got my dh a leather bracelet engraved with the baby's initials and the date I passed her. We were also going to announce it to the world Thursday because I would have been exactly 12 weeks too.
> 
> I need to make a memory box too. I have a couple of pictures and a journal I started that I can't face yet. I am open to talking about it but sometimes the emotions build up again. A friend announced they are expecting yesterday.Click to expand...
> 
> I kept all my pregnancy stuff in a drawer and I have not been able to open it up yet. I hope you are okay with hearing about your friend and all. I know it is hard.:hugs:Click to expand...

It is hard. I am happy for her, and for her husband, but it makes me miss my baby a little more. She will be due right about the same time I was due. I am holding onto my faith and surrounding myself with positive people, I will be okay. :hugs: to you too!


----------



## nessaw

All my bits r in a drawer too.the only thing i"ve got out is the folic acid.weirdly my niece and nephew stayed over just b4 my scan so i had put everything away as they didnt know.so at least i didnt have to do thsmat.


----------



## angel2010

I took a pregnancy test today, still showing a faint bfp on a walmart cheapie. I have been feeling some weird cramping today and yesterday. Pretty light, but they felt different. I also had some ewcm. The cramps I felt weren't on either side. I am sure all kinds of little pains are normal at this point and we aren't looking to try again until the end of Jan. It got me wondering, is it possible to O while you are still getting positives?


----------



## sweetmommaof2

angel2010 said:


> I took a pregnancy test today, still showing a faint bfp on a walmart cheapie. I have been feeling some weird cramping today and yesterday. Pretty light, but they felt different. I also had some ewcm. The cramps I felt weren't on either side. I am sure all kinds of little pains are normal at this point and we aren't looking to try again until the end of Jan. It got me wondering, is it possible to O while you are still getting positives?

I believe you can but they don't want you to try til after #s are 5 or below and wait at least 3 normal cycles... so if it takes your body 6 weeks for your #'s to get back down to 5 or less but you still have your cycle you should still ovulate.... the reason why my doctor said to wait is to keep track of my #s because if they start rising it could be cancer (if you have any tissue or anything left in there from the pregnancy it could turn into cancer...) January Februaryish is the time we are thinking of trying agian also.. :( super hard as 2 close friends are preggers right now also... my due date was june 17. theirs are june 29th and 30th... Hugs to all... :hugs: :hug:


----------



## vegasbaby

Hi, can I join this group? I was due June 2nd, but went in for my 12 week check-up (actually week 13) to find that my baby's heart had stopped beating somewhere around week 8 (just days after my first ultrasound where we saw a strong hb). It appears as though I had a partial-molar pregnancy, so there was no way this baby would have ever made it to term. I haven't read all the way through this thread yet, but has anyone else experienced this sort of mc? Sweetmomma, you post above indicates that you may have. At least I have an answer as to why, but it doesn't make it any easier. I like the idea of a Christmas ornament to honor the child. I would like some way to remember and this sounds like an appropriate tribute. 

Going in today for my d&c. Wish me luck! 

So sorry for all the losses here. I hope we all go on to have our rainbow babies.


----------



## Middysquidge

Hi ladies,

Can I join in with this group too? I would have been due June 3rd, mmc at 12 week scan baby was 9 weeks :(

I had d&c last Thursday (22nd) and am having some very faint bleeding still, a few pains and feel a bit faint, was my first day back at work today so I'm thinkin the faint feeling is down to this!

I took my first pg test today, it was a negative but I didn't use FMU. Is anyone getting positives when it's not FMU, or are you all using FMU? Anyway, I'll try again in the morning! My OPKs came too and I'm excited to be using them again after one natural cycle!

I'm trying to keep myself busy, Im a bear artist. I mak traditional mohair teddy bears and have decided to make one in honour of my little Pippin, it's a black 5 way jointed bear called 'Sorrow' and I'm also knitting my non existent new baby a baby blanket because it takes a good few months to knit, my aim is to have a BFP before it's finished!

Hope all you ladies are doing okay, or at least better. Sending masses of hugs x x


----------



## bluebird

Hi Jasmine,
I am still getting positive pg tests and I had my D&C 3 weeks ago.... and thats not using FMU. So your body is bouncing back incredibly. I was really faint too, that lasted for a couple weeks and I still get dizzy if I stand up too quickly.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this too, big hugs and good luck next cycle


----------



## Middysquidge

Hi Bluebird,

Oh really? Well tbf the urine I used it was hardly any, I'll try again in the morning and report back but if t is negative already I'll be happy and surprised!

Yes, I tend to get faint when I stand up too quick, it's horrible isn't it!

Are you ttc again soon bluebird? I'd love to go through the forums with some of the lovely ladies in here, it's such a supportive place, I'm glad we have it, at first I was really upset cos I didn't know where to go anymore but I feel at home here for now!

I'm sorry you're going through this too, big hugs x


----------



## bluebird

Jasmineivy said:


> Hi Bluebird,
> 
> Oh really? Well tbf the urine I used it was hardly any, I'll try again in the morning and report back but if t is negative already I'll be happy and surprised!
> 
> Yes, I tend to get faint when I stand up too quick, it's horrible isn't it!
> 
> Are you ttc again soon bluebird? I'd love to go through the forums with some of the lovely ladies in here, it's such a supportive place, I'm glad we have it, at first I was really upset cos I didn't know where to go anymore but I feel at home here for now!
> 
> I'm sorry you're going through this too, big hugs x

Yes the dizziness is awful! I was constantly having to stop and catch my breath/lean against things. Much better now though

Yep I'm on the TTC train again, my body still thinks I'm prego though so that is slowing my train down a bit! lol My Dr. said that we could start trying right away so I have been NTNP for the last week on the very SLIM chance that my HCG levels miraculously drop to zero. But really I'm just waiting to get a real period so my next cycle will start. You are waiting for next cycle right?


----------



## Middysquidge

I know, I used to get dizzy a lot when I was younger but haven't had it for a while, it was a bit of a shock but nothing terrible! 

Well, good luck for this cycle, you do hear of women catching straight away and it is worth a try! I don't know why I'm not, I think it's my OH really too, he's very keen on doing things by the book, as the doc said wait one cycle, that's stuck in his mind and I'm happy to have a tiny break for xmas and have a proper period so I know where I am. Don't get me wrong though, I'm desperate to be pregnant again, it's all I can think about! 

X


----------



## angel2010

I am really sorry you ladies are here. I am so sorry for your losses.

I got a bfn on a test Friday or Saturday with really diluted urine and a positive on Sunday with fmu. It was pretty faint though. I passes my baby on the 9th.


----------



## angel2010

Pretty certain I am ovulating. The pain is only on the right and it has been going on for a couple hours now and is def more painful than it used to be. I am not sure why, but it feels too soon for me.


----------



## angel2010

I am still thinking about my last post. I just went to the bathroom and I have super stretchy cm, snot-like in texture and color. I have never had this with O before, but I still think I am. After seeing it, and feeling more confirmation of O I feel a little conflicted. 
We got pregnant on the first try both times we tried. I can't say with certainty it would happen like that again, but I think there is a decent possibility it would happen again. 
So this is why I am conflicted. I am pretty sure I am ovulating. I miss being pregnant, the way you feel whole and full of life. So anyway, we have a decent chance to get pregnant again tonight (if I am ovulating). I feel a little sad to not be doing anything about, but still know it is too soon. I guess my heart is conflicted, while my mind still knows what the right decision is. Did that make any sense?


----------



## Megan1986

It is hard to wait, but best to let your body recover. :hugs:


----------



## Middysquidge

Hi Angel2010,

It is so very hard waiting but like you say there is every chance it could happen very quickly again before you feel ready, the decision is totally up to you though, good luck with all you decide. I know how you mean about missing feeling full of life, it's horrible being 'empty'.

I took a pg test today it was a BFN, so happy :) Took and ovulation too which was also negative! I seem to have creamy cm back and my temp was 97.72 (first temp) which previosly for me was a post 'o'temp so I have absolutely no idea what is going on atm!

I'm deffo waiting for af, ff predicts 21st December on a normal cycle, with d&c being day 1, that would be nice but we shall see!

Big hugs for today June angels x


----------



## nessaw

I was planning on taking a pg test tom as it wd be 3 wks afte medical management but this morning I passed the egg sac.:-( just waiting for epu or gp to open so I can find out what if anything I shd do.


----------



## Middysquidge

nessaw said:


> I was planning on taking a pg test tom as it wd be 3 wks afte medical management but this morning I passed the egg sac.:-( just waiting for epu or gp to open so I can find out what if anything I shd do.

Did you have an operation and still passed the sac? x x


----------



## nessaw

No I had the tablets.thought everything had passed the following day.spoken to epu and they said do a pg test which was neg and as long as no pain/minimal bleeding shd be ok.


----------



## Middysquidge

Oh, hopefully it will be okay then, hugs x x x


----------



## vegasbaby

Angel: I guess it is up to you if you feel ready. I understand missing being pregnant even though I don't actually like being pregnant (at least I hate first tri). Maybe I'll have a different outlook in the future. 

I had my d&c yesterday. It went very well. Today I am barely bleeding and not cramping at all. Not sure if this will change. I am also feeling better emotionally, though I'm not "better" by any means. I need to call my doctor today to make an appointment for next week. She hopes she will have the pathology report by then even though she knows it was a partial-molar. Also, I have to have my hcg levels checked for the next few months. I hate having them take blood so this is going to be a super fun time for me.


----------



## angel2010

nessaw said:


> I was planning on taking a pg test tom as it wd be 3 wks afte medical management but this morning I passed the egg sac.:-( just waiting for epu or gp to open so I can find out what if anything I shd do.

I hope you are doing okay.:hugs:


----------



## angel2010

vegasbaby said:


> I had my d&c yesterday. It went very well. Today I am barely bleeding and not cramping at all. Not sure if this will change. I am also feeling better emotionally, though I'm not "better" by any means. I need to call my doctor today to make an appointment for next week. She hopes she will have the pathology report by then even though she knows it was a partial-molar. Also, I have to have my hcg levels checked for the next few months. I hate having them take blood so this is going to be a super fun time for me.

I am glad that is went as well as it could.


----------



## StefNJunk

Waiting to pass baby and sac here... just found at yesterday at 11+3 that baby died around 8 weeks, within about 2 days of first ultrasound and hearing HB. 

Midwife told me I can give it until next week to pass naturally, but after that I should do something to avoid infection. Since I'm steadily bleeding and have minor cramps, I decided to give it until tomorrow afternoon. I need to move on...

I'm just wondering how long it will take for everything to get back to normal so we can try again. Last MC I had in August was not missed and was only 5+2, so my HCG levels dropped quickly, within a week. I assume because this was missed and the sac continued growing after the baby stopped, that the HCG levels continued rising? We didn't test because we confirmed miscarriage with an ultrasound.


----------



## angel2010

I am very sorry for your loss. My baby stopped growing at 8+3, we found out at 9+6 (a wed). I passed the baby on the next Friday. I am pretty sure that I ovulated yesterday. So that is just under 3 weeks since I passed the baby or 4 weeks since it died. I guess I will find out in a couple weeks if I really ovulated and if I am back to normal.

Edit- I am in Springfield, btw.


----------



## StefNJunk

angel2010 said:


> I am very sorry for your loss. My baby stopped growing at 8+3, we found out at 9+6 (a wed). I passed the baby on the next Friday. I am pretty sure that I ovulated yesterday. So that is just under 3 weeks since I passed the baby or 4 weeks since it died. I guess I will find out in a couple weeks if I really ovulated and if I am back to normal.
> 
> Edit- I am in Springfield, btw.

Thanks for letting me know how it went for you, and sorry for your loss, as well. 

I'm in Herculaneum right now, about half an hour south of the city, but we're trying to move up to the St. Charles / St. Peters / O'Fallon area.


----------



## bluebird

StefNJunk said:


> Waiting to pass baby and sac here... just found at yesterday at 11+3 that baby died around 8 weeks, within about 2 days of first ultrasound and hearing HB.
> 
> Midwife told me I can give it until next week to pass naturally, but after that I should do something to avoid infection. Since I'm steadily bleeding and have minor cramps, I decided to give it until tomorrow afternoon. I need to move on...
> 
> I'm just wondering how long it will take for everything to get back to normal so we can try again. Last MC I had in August was not missed and was only 5+2, so my HCG levels dropped quickly, within a week. I assume because this was missed and the sac continued growing after the baby stopped, that the HCG levels continued rising? We didn't test because we confirmed miscarriage with an ultrasound.

Hi Stef, so sorry for you loss. I had almost the exact same situation as you, baby passed at 9 weeks but the sac kept growing and I found out at 11 weeks. I am totally devastated so I know how you're feeling, big hugs :hugs:

I wasn't able to pass the baby naturally or with pills so I had a D&C on the 9th (3 weeks ago). I stopped spotting about 7 days ago but I am still getting relatively dark positive HPTs. But I have heard from other women on this forum that had negative HPTs a few days after D&C/passing the baby so I think it really just depends on your body. Chances are that your HCG is pretty high still and it could be 4-6 weeks before your cycle starts again... it seems thats about average.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. Good luck to you over the next few days, they will be tough.


----------



## angel2010

StefNJunk said:


> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> I am very sorry for your loss. My baby stopped growing at 8+3, we found out at 9+6 (a wed). I passed the baby on the next Friday. I am pretty sure that I ovulated yesterday. So that is just under 3 weeks since I passed the baby or 4 weeks since it died. I guess I will find out in a couple weeks if I really ovulated and if I am back to normal.
> 
> Edit- I am in Springfield, btw.
> 
> Thanks for letting me know how it went for you, and sorry for your loss, as well.
> 
> I'm in Herculaneum right now, about half an hour south of the city, but we're trying to move up to the St. Charles / St. Peters / O'Fallon area.Click to expand...

We went to St. Charles for the Christmas celebration last year. Very nice area.


----------



## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> Hi ladies,
> 
> Can I join in with this group too? I would have been due June 3rd, mmc at 12 week scan baby was 9 weeks :(
> 
> I had d&c last Thursday (22nd) and am having some very faint bleeding still, a few pains and feel a bit faint, was my first day back at work today so I'm thinkin the faint feeling is down to this!
> 
> I took my first pg test today, it was a negative but I didn't use FMU. Is anyone getting positives when it's not FMU, or are you all using FMU? Anyway, I'll try again in the morning! My OPKs came too and I'm excited to be using them again after one natural cycle!
> 
> I'm trying to keep myself busy, Im a bear artist. I mak traditional mohair teddy bears and have decided to make one in honour of my little Pippin, it's a black 5 way jointed bear called 'Sorrow' and I'm also knitting my non existent new baby a baby blanket because it takes a good few months to knit, my aim is to have a BFP before it's finished!
> 
> Hope all you ladies are doing okay, or at least better. Sending masses of hugs x x

Hi to all here! I have been lurking on this website for the past month and finally have the strength to post today. I read Jasmineivys post and its what triggered me to stop lurking...my baby also had a due date of June 3rd --my husbands birthday. I am 40 y/o, so we were so excited that everything went as I planned--getting pregnant the 2nd month of trying, etc etc. I went to my 6 week appt and had an ultrasound, saw the heartbeat, everything was fine. Then at ten weeks, on Nov 1, I started light bleeding and ultimately miscarried late that nightIt was terrible and the worse experience of my life. I thought that I could finally share this story without crying, but am now starting to tear up!! Anyways, thanks to all of you for sharing your stories, and sorrows, and words of encouragement! I will continue to come to this website and continue healing. My prayers and best thoughts for all of us.


----------



## Middysquidge

Hi MeliH,

Aww, that's sweet, this site is absolutely brilliant, so supportive and so many different forums! I joined in 2009 when I was pregnant with my daughter and the ladies on here have been with me on here for a manner of different reasons ever since! I've never been in the loss forums until recently and I was lurking for a while too! It was hard to know which thread to join as the ladies seem to have a good bond and a daily dialogue but I soon found out that they are so welcoming, it takes courage introducing yourself so that's great you did!

I'm so sorry for your loss, June 3rd will forever stay in our hearts! I'm so sorry that you had a horrible miscarriage experience, I went in for the d&c, I was so so scared to do it naturally. Are you trying again soon? Big hugs x x x

Just to update: I'm 8 days post d&c now, still bleeding lightly on and off, cramping but have finished my anti-biotics so am looking forward to my first glass of wine in a long time tonight, I need a huuuugggggeeee glass! 

Hope all of the ladies on here are as well as can be today x


----------



## vegasbaby

Stef: I'm glad you found this thread. I was so sorry to see your post on the June baby thread the other day. It just seemed like we should have all been in the clear by now. I hope you pass everything quickly so you can move on-at least to some extent. 

Today I am mad. I am mad at statistics that say things like once you've heard a heartbeat then you have a tiny chance of miscarriage. I am mad that I got pregnant with something that would never develop into a normal child and that I was given such false hope at my first ultrasound. I mad that this could happen again. How the hell I am supposed to prevent two sperm from fertilizing my egg? I am mad that I may have to wait a year to start TTC again because my type of pregnancy could give me cancer. 

Jasmine: Enjoy that glass of wine. They only injected me with antibiotics so I've been drinking (only one glass a night) since I found out my baby had no heartbeat. I also enjoyed real sushi the night before my d&c. At least there are a few things we can enjoy now that we couldn't while being pregnant. Of course, I know we would trade it all for a healthy baby. One of these days.....


----------



## StefNJunk

vegasbaby, I was very sad when I saw your post on the June baby thread as well, I actually cried for you, which is rare for me. 

I completely understand your anger, I feel the same way. To know that our baby died just days after we saw him/her and heard the HB and everything looked and sounded great... it saddens me and pisses me off at the same time. And then thinking we saw the HB on ultrasound on Monday to learn we didn't really see anything but static... Hearing the ultrasound tech on Wednesday say, "Are you sure of your dates?" then watching her measure and seeing 8 weeks show up on the screen when it should have said 11 weeks 3 days... I wanted to hop up right then, punch something and walk out screaming. I was paranoid this pregnancy because of the last... not sure how I'll handle the nerves with the next.

None of it makes sense.

I'm here if you (or anyone) ever needs to talk or wants someone to listen.

:hugs:


----------



## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> Hi MeliH,
> 
> Aww, that's sweet, this site is absolutely brilliant, so supportive and so many different forums! I joined in 2009 when I was pregnant with my daughter and the ladies on here have been with me on here for a manner of different reasons ever since! I've never been in the loss forums until recently and I was lurking for a while too! It was hard to know which thread to join as the ladies seem to have a good bond and a daily dialogue but I soon found out that they are so welcoming, it takes courage introducing yourself so that's great you did!
> 
> I'm so sorry for your loss, June 3rd will forever stay in our hearts! I'm so sorry that you had a horrible miscarriage experience, I went in for the d&c, I was so so scared to do it naturally. Are you trying again soon? Big hugs x x x
> 
> Just to update: I'm 8 days post d&c now, still bleeding lightly on and off, cramping but have finished my anti-biotics so am looking forward to my first glass of wine in a long time tonight, I need a huuuugggggeeee glass!
> 
> Hope all of the ladies on here are as well as can be today x

Hi Jasmineivy,
Thanks for your kind words. 

I miscarried on Nov 1. (sorry if the following is TMI): While at work around lunchtime, I noticed a tiny bit of pinkish watery substance when I wiped. I wiped again, and there was nothing out of the ordinary. I thought I was going crazy. The lighting in the bathroom isnt the greatest, so after the second wiping, I thought/wanted to think everything was ok, especially because I didnt have any cramping or anything. In the meantime, I started researching on the internet about miscarriage signs. I read that sometimes cramping and bleeding are not necessarily signs of miscarriage. I called my mom, who shared with me that when she was pregnant with my younger brother, she also had sporadic bleeding/spotting throughout her pregnancy. She tried to be positive and encouraging, and said she would go with me to see my dr the next day.

Well, that evening, around 7pm or so, I started cramping, then around 1 hour later, started spotting, then finally bleeding. I was a wreck and finally was out of denial. I knew what was happening. My husband wanted to take me to the ER, but I knew due to my research that there was nothing that could be done to stop this. I didnt want him to have to take me to the ER and interrupt his sleep because he had morning work meetings. I just thought that Id hang in there throughout the night and drive myself to my ob/gyn in the morning (I live about 1 hour away from my dr). Well, the cramping got worse and worse, I started throwing up uncontrollably, had horrendous bowel movements, was sweating and had the chills, felt dizzy and faint. I basically sat on that toilet for about 5 hours. The minute I would try to clean up and take a shower, blood would be everywhere again. My husband basically said Lets go to the ER. You are being ridiculous about not wanting to keep me awake and I cant sleep anyways with all this going on. Im afraid you are going to pass out in the bathroom. 

Thats how I finally decided to go to the ER. We got there around 1am. They admitted me right away and did an transvaginal ultrasound. They said there was nothing left in my uterus, and said the pain/cramping was basically like going through labor (I have always suffered from horrendous debilitating menstrual cramps, but those cramps were like nothing I have EVER felt). Via an IV, they gave me anti nausea medication, morphine (thank god for morphine!!), IV fluids because I was dehydrated, and a blood transfusion. I was released around 7am, and they prescribed hydrocodone for the painful cramps.

Based on all these stories Ive read on this site, and from what I saw that came out of me, I *think* my angel must have passed away pretty close after my 1st ultrasound appt at 6 weeks, but I obviously didnt know, and I still had all my pregnancy symptoms, up until a couple days after I miscarried. I was scheduled for my next dr appt on Nov 7, but I miscarried Nov 1.

So, I didnt have a choice, mine was done naturally, however, I dont know what decision I would have made, had I been given a choice as to natural or medically managed?

4 weeks and one day later, I am still bleeding/spotting with no end in sight :growlmad: After the first 10 days or so, it became light bleeding, to the point where all I need are pantiliners and not pads (dr told me not to use tampons). I had to go for weekly blood tests to make sure the hormone levels were going down. November 9th I was at a 28. My Nov 16th blood draw was unable to be used--the phlebotomist made a mistake during the blood draw. Finally after the 3rd blood test on 11/21/12, I was told my hormones were at a 2 so I could stop taking the blood tests.

At this point, although I am very scared, I definitely want to try again, but Id like to wait for at least one regular cycle to let my uterine lining replenish. So maybe well start trying again in January? 

I have definitely had some wine the last couple of weekends; heck, even had some wine on a few weekdays :winkwink: Like some of the other ladies, Ive also indulged in sushi and other things I had to avoid while pregnant, and have tried to enjoy it, although, of course, I would rather be enjoying a healthy pregnancy...

What about you? Are you going to TTC in the future?


----------



## vegasbaby

Stef: When I went back onto the June thread to "thank" everyone and when I saw your post I was in total shock and I cried for you too. Tears come so easy these days don't they? I totally understand how you feel about the ultrasound tech. Mine was so quiet, I just knew something was wrong. I kept looking at her face for some sort of expression to to give me a clue, but she's obviously trained her emotions well. She was nice enough to let me see my baby even though she said it was against policy. What a stupid policy. People need closure, let them see what they lost. 

I too am a bit scared to try again, but nothing ventured nothing gained. I just hope that the next one is the one I get to keep. 

Meli: I am so sorry for you loss. There is no such thing as TMI on BnB! Your experience sounds just awful. I am so glad your dh insisted you go to the hospital. I'll be honest, the d&c was a breeze. The only hard part was knowing what was about to happen and just general nerves about the surgery itself. They gave me happy drugs before they rolled me into surgery and I never even saw the OR as I was out. Next thing I knew it was over. I had some light cramping the hour after the procedure and I've only been wearing panty liners since the day after. In a way I was hoping for more pain, more blood, something that really signified that this is over. None of this seems real. There is no good or bad way to miscarry. It all sucks and it all has the same sad result. 

Super glad to hear your hcg levels have dropped and you can TTC again when you are ready. 

I will not be allowed to TTC for at least three months and perhaps up to a year based on the fact that I had a partial molar pregnancy. I'm pretty sure that the partial molar carries less of a cancer risk than a complete molar so they don't have to monitor my hcg levels for as long. Also, before I freak anyone out this whole cancer thing only relates to molar pregnancies and not any other type of miscarriage. Don't want to worry anyone unnecessarily. Once I get the green light, it's on.


----------



## StefNJunk

vegasbaby, that IS a stupid policy. Or tech was really nice, very sympathetic. I knew it wasn't her fault and she was doing what she could but I couldn't help but be mad at her. I just needed to be mad. 

Here's to our next pregnancies being perfect. :hugs:


----------



## nessaw

Ladies am so sorry to see you all here.x


----------



## StefNJunk

angel2010 said:


> StefNJunk said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> I am very sorry for your loss. My baby stopped growing at 8+3, we found out at 9+6 (a wed). I passed the baby on the next Friday. I am pretty sure that I ovulated yesterday. So that is just under 3 weeks since I passed the baby or 4 weeks since it died. I guess I will find out in a couple weeks if I really ovulated and if I am back to normal.
> 
> Edit- I am in Springfield, btw.
> 
> Thanks for letting me know how it went for you, and sorry for your loss, as well.
> 
> I'm in Herculaneum right now, about half an hour south of the city, but we're trying to move up to the St. Charles / St. Peters / O'Fallon area.Click to expand...
> 
> We went to St. Charles for the Christmas celebration last year. Very nice area.Click to expand...

Yes it is, OH grew up there so it would be nice for him to be back. That and would cut is drive to work from an hour each way to a few minutes.


----------



## Meli_H

vegasbaby,

I totally understand your point about wanting to feel more pain, or see more blood, to really signify that this is over. By the time that I went to the ER, I was a wreck physically, but emotionally I was finally able to &#8216;get it together&#8217;. Right or wrong, I&#8217;m the type of person that hates being the center of attention, dislike asking anyone for favors, being a &#8216;nuisance&#8217; or making a big deal out of things. I really thought that I&#8217;d be able to hang in there til the next day and drive myself to my dr office. HA! Yah right. How naïve was I? Anyways, I was over the hysterical crying and sobbing, and just tried to keep it together to not freak out dh anymore than he already was. I was pale,sweaty, hair so tangled it looked like a mop, and didn&#8217;t give a crap what I was wearing (dh&#8217;s sweats and mismatched flip flops). I was emotionless, matter of fact&#8230;telling the front desk, triage nurse and admitting nurse &#8220;I had a miscarriage&#8221;. The admitting nurse even asked me &#8220;was this a planned pregnancy?&#8221; Thinking back, I realize this is an odd question, because I&#8217;m not a teenager. I know that I don&#8217;t look 40 (I&#8217;ve been told that I look like I&#8217;m in my 20&#8217;s when I&#8217;m not wearing makeup and have hair up in a ponytail) but I certainly don&#8217;t look like a teen LOL! I imagine she probably asked me such a question because I don&#8217;t think they are used to such behavior from a woman in my situation.

Back to your point about the blood and pain helping one in dealing with the situation: I think the physical pain was so horrid, as was the throwing up and chills, that I was able to concentrate just on the physical torture while the worst of it was happening, instead of thinking about the emotional and mental pain. The emotional pain and mental pain returned, of course, and still exists, as it does for all of us that have gone through such sadness.

After what I went through, and hearing yours and others&#8217; stories of d&c&#8217;s, if I had the opportunity to make a choice as to go &#8216;natural&#8217; or &#8216;medically managed&#8217;, I think I would elect for the d&c. 

*It&#8217;s so true, what you said though. There is no good or bad way to miscarry; it all leads to the same result&#8230;*

I am SO SORRY to hear about your partial molar pregnancy. I can&#8217;t imagine going through all this, and then still having to wait such a long time to TTC, not to mention the looming possibility of cancer!!?? My thoughts and prayers are with you (and all of the ladies here) not just for your health now and in the future, but for loads of patience and calm acceptance of what will be, will be&#8230;

*OK I feel horrible and ashamed even admitting this,* but I was also caught up in the whole &#8220;my plans have been ruined!!&#8221;. I am such a control freak, and this pregnancy was planned down to the T. I didn&#8217;t want to get pregnant before September because I wanted to have some &#8216;margaritas&#8217; during our various extended family vacations (Laughlin, beach camping at CA coast, my &#8216;surprise&#8217; 40th bday party in Aug) I LOVED the idea having a due date of my dh&#8217;s bday, I wanted a summer baby so that the weather was perfect for birthday swimming parties, not being pregnant throughout the summertime (I live in the high desert so it can get pretty hot!), school is out so that my mom can come live with us for a couple of months (she helps my db and sil get my niece and nephews to school), I would be able to make the formal announcement to my extended family during Thanksgiving dinner (I wanted to wait for the first trimester to be over before making the announcement; it would have been a huge deal for my family because I think they all gave up on me wanting to have kids--but of course I had already told my immediate family). I had already planned the Christmas cards I would be sending in about 1 week that would also announce my pregnancy&#8230;sigh&#8230;.I could go on and on&#8230;.*but did/does anybody else feel the same way?? Or am I the only selfish/control freak on this board*?


----------



## bluebird

Hi Meli-

No you're not alone. I was soooooooo excited for my June baby. It would have put my daughter and the new baby almost exactly 2 years apart, I had visions of them driving to high school together. And I would have been on maternity leave June/July/Aug so we would have had an amazing summer, family vacations and lounging by the pool. Also it would give me the chance to get my DD potty trained and ready to start school in September *sigh* 
Most of all I just miss my baby, I fee like a piece of our family is gone forever.


----------



## Middysquidge

Meli_H said:


> Jasmineivy said:
> 
> 
> Hi MeliH,
> 
> Aww, that's sweet, this site is absolutely brilliant, so supportive and so many different forums! I joined in 2009 when I was pregnant with my daughter and the ladies on here have been with me on here for a manner of different reasons ever since! I've never been in the loss forums until recently and I was lurking for a while too! It was hard to know which thread to join as the ladies seem to have a good bond and a daily dialogue but I soon found out that they are so welcoming, it takes courage introducing yourself so that's great you did!
> 
> I'm so sorry for your loss, June 3rd will forever stay in our hearts! I'm so sorry that you had a horrible miscarriage experience, I went in for the d&c, I was so so scared to do it naturally. Are you trying again soon? Big hugs x x x
> 
> Just to update: I'm 8 days post d&c now, still bleeding lightly on and off, cramping but have finished my anti-biotics so am looking forward to my first glass of wine in a long time tonight, I need a huuuugggggeeee glass!
> 
> Hope all of the ladies on here are as well as can be today x
> 
> Hi Jasmineivy,
> Thanks for your kind words.
> 
> I miscarried on Nov 1. (sorry if the following is TMI): While at work around lunchtime, I noticed a tiny bit of pinkish watery substance when I wiped. I wiped again, and there was nothing out of the ordinary. I thought I was going crazy. The lighting in the bathroom isnt the greatest, so after the second wiping, I thought/wanted to think everything was ok, especially because I didnt have any cramping or anything. In the meantime, I started researching on the internet about miscarriage signs. I read that sometimes cramping and bleeding are not necessarily signs of miscarriage. I called my mom, who shared with me that when she was pregnant with my younger brother, she also had sporadic bleeding/spotting throughout her pregnancy. She tried to be positive and encouraging, and said she would go with me to see my dr the next day.
> 
> Well, that evening, around 7pm or so, I started cramping, then around 1 hour later, started spotting, then finally bleeding. I was a wreck and finally was out of denial. I knew what was happening. My husband wanted to take me to the ER, but I knew due to my research that there was nothing that could be done to stop this. I didnt want him to have to take me to the ER and interrupt his sleep because he had morning work meetings. I just thought that Id hang in there throughout the night and drive myself to my ob/gyn in the morning (I live about 1 hour away from my dr). Well, the cramping got worse and worse, I started throwing up uncontrollably, had horrendous bowel movements, was sweating and had the chills, felt dizzy and faint. I basically sat on that toilet for about 5 hours. The minute I would try to clean up and take a shower, blood would be everywhere again. My husband basically said Lets go to the ER. You are being ridiculous about not wanting to keep me awake and I cant sleep anyways with all this going on. Im afraid you are going to pass out in the bathroom.
> 
> Thats how I finally decided to go to the ER. We got there around 1am. They admitted me right away and did an transvaginal ultrasound. They said there was nothing left in my uterus, and said the pain/cramping was basically like going through labor (I have always suffered from horrendous debilitating menstrual cramps, but those cramps were like nothing I have EVER felt). Via an IV, they gave me anti nausea medication, morphine (thank god for morphine!!), IV fluids because I was dehydrated, and a blood transfusion. I was released around 7am, and they prescribed hydrocodone for the painful cramps.
> 
> Based on all these stories Ive read on this site, and from what I saw that came out of me, I *think* my angel must have passed away pretty close after my 1st ultrasound appt at 6 weeks, but I obviously didnt know, and I still had all my pregnancy symptoms, up until a couple days after I miscarried. I was scheduled for my next dr appt on Nov 7, but I miscarried Nov 1.
> 
> So, I didnt have a choice, mine was done naturally, however, I dont know what decision I would have made, had I been given a choice as to natural or medically managed?
> 
> 4 weeks and one day later, I am still bleeding/spotting with no end in sight :growlmad: After the first 10 days or so, it became light bleeding, to the point where all I need are pantiliners and not pads (dr told me not to use tampons). I had to go for weekly blood tests to make sure the hormone levels were going down. November 9th I was at a 28. My Nov 16th blood draw was unable to be used--the phlebotomist made a mistake during the blood draw. Finally after the 3rd blood test on 11/21/12, I was told my hormones were at a 2 so I could stop taking the blood tests.
> 
> At this point, although I am very scared, I definitely want to try again, but Id like to wait for at least one regular cycle to let my uterine lining replenish. So maybe well start trying again in January?
> 
> I have definitely had some wine the last couple of weekends; heck, even had some wine on a few weekdays :winkwink: Like some of the other ladies, Ive also indulged in sushi and other things I had to avoid while pregnant, and have tried to enjoy it, although, of course, I would rather be enjoying a healthy pregnancy...
> 
> What about you? Are you going to TTC in the future?Click to expand...

Very drunk, will reply when sober x


----------



## angel2010

Jasmineivy said:


> Very drunk, will reply when sober x

Have fun!!!


----------



## vegasbaby

Meli: I could not have been happier with my June due date. I knew that I would have another c-section which meant I would have the baby sometime in late May and I was hoping this baby and my dh would share a b-day. Like you I was really looking forward to not being heavily pregnant in the heat of the summer (Orlando is so darn humid!) and I loved the idea that the baby would be able to have swim parties, not to mention he/she wouldn't be the oldest or youngest in his/her class. All of these details just thrilled me. Also, it took me almost a year of trying (though I was so opinionated about dates that we used protection during February/March/April as I didn't want a baby with a birthday close to the holidays. I'm pretty sure those will be the exact dates I will be cleared to try again ffs. 

Jasmine: Good for you. I'm about to open a bottle of wine. It is going to be a good night.


----------



## StefNJunk

Sucky night here, to put it lightly. Decided to use Cytotec to help things out. Been about two and a half hours. I can barely move, the pain is so ridiculous


----------



## bluebird

Oh no stef! Didn't they give you any pain meds??My Dr prescribed Vicodin when she gave me cytotec


----------



## StefNJunk

No, but I got it from my midwife. She just said tylenol or ibuprofen. Isn't even remotely helping


----------



## bluebird

No kidding, it's extremely painful. It's basically labor pains. Hang in there, maybe a heating pad would help??


----------



## StefNJunk

Tried that, didn't seem to do much. It's been almost 4 hours, it just seems to be getting worse. This is like some sort of cruel joke :( I hate pain meds but I so wish I had something right now


----------



## angel2010

No, Tylenol did not help at all! I also got some Vicodin, but not until after I went to the ER because I couldn't take it any more. I am so sorry, I hope it goes quickly for you!


----------



## nessaw

Stef so sorry u r going thro this.i had the pills and all i had thro the main cramping was over the counter stuff which did nothing.when i went back to the hosp they gave me co-codamol which got rid of every cramp etc.go and get some harder stuff.hope ur ok.x


----------



## Middysquidge

Meli_H said:


> Jasmineivy said:
> 
> 
> Hi MeliH,
> 
> Hi Jasmineivy,
> Thanks for your kind words.
> 
> I miscarried on Nov 1. (sorry if the following is TMI): While at work around lunchtime, I noticed a tiny bit of pinkish watery substance when I wiped. I wiped again, and there was nothing out of the ordinary. I thought I was going crazy. The lighting in the bathroom isnt the greatest, so after the second wiping, I thought/wanted to think everything was ok, especially because I didnt have any cramping or anything. In the meantime, I started researching on the internet about miscarriage signs. I read that sometimes cramping and bleeding are not necessarily signs of miscarriage. I called my mom, who shared with me that when she was pregnant with my younger brother, she also had sporadic bleeding/spotting throughout her pregnancy. She tried to be positive and encouraging, and said she would go with me to see my dr the next day.
> 
> Well, that evening, around 7pm or so, I started cramping, then around 1 hour later, started spotting, then finally bleeding. I was a wreck and finally was out of denial. I knew what was happening. My husband wanted to take me to the ER, but I knew due to my research that there was nothing that could be done to stop this. I didnt want him to have to take me to the ER and interrupt his sleep because he had morning work meetings. I just thought that Id hang in there throughout the night and drive myself to my ob/gyn in the morning (I live about 1 hour away from my dr). Well, the cramping got worse and worse, I started throwing up uncontrollably, had horrendous bowel movements, was sweating and had the chills, felt dizzy and faint. I basically sat on that toilet for about 5 hours. The minute I would try to clean up and take a shower, blood would be everywhere again. My husband basically said Lets go to the ER. You are being ridiculous about not wanting to keep me awake and I cant sleep anyways with all this going on. Im afraid you are going to pass out in the bathroom.
> 
> Thats how I finally decided to go to the ER. We got there around 1am. They admitted me right away and did an transvaginal ultrasound. They said there was nothing left in my uterus, and said the pain/cramping was basically like going through labor (I have always suffered from horrendous debilitating menstrual cramps, but those cramps were like nothing I have EVER felt). Via an IV, they gave me anti nausea medication, morphine (thank god for morphine!!), IV fluids because I was dehydrated, and a blood transfusion. I was released around 7am, and they prescribed hydrocodone for the painful cramps.
> 
> Based on all these stories Ive read on this site, and from what I saw that came out of me, I *think* my angel must have passed away pretty close after my 1st ultrasound appt at 6 weeks, but I obviously didnt know, and I still had all my pregnancy symptoms, up until a couple days after I miscarried. I was scheduled for my next dr appt on Nov 7, but I miscarried Nov 1.
> 
> So, I didnt have a choice, mine was done naturally, however, I dont know what decision I would have made, had I been given a choice as to natural or medically managed?
> 
> 4 weeks and one day later, I am still bleeding/spotting with no end in sight :growlmad: After the first 10 days or so, it became light bleeding, to the point where all I need are pantiliners and not pads (dr told me not to use tampons). I had to go for weekly blood tests to make sure the hormone levels were going down. November 9th I was at a 28. My Nov 16th blood draw was unable to be used--the phlebotomist made a mistake during the blood draw. Finally after the 3rd blood test on 11/21/12, I was told my hormones were at a 2 so I could stop taking the blood tests.
> 
> At this point, although I am very scared, I definitely want to try again, but Id like to wait for at least one regular cycle to let my uterine lining replenish. So maybe well start trying again in January?
> 
> I have definitely had some wine the last couple of weekends; heck, even had some wine on a few weekdays :winkwink: Like some of the other ladies, Ive also indulged in sushi and other things I had to avoid while pregnant, and have tried to enjoy it, although, of course, I would rather be enjoying a healthy pregnancy...
> 
> What about you? Are you going to TTC in the future?
> 
> Hi ladies,
> 
> Well, as you can tell from my drunken post last night, I had a rather good old knees up, it was nice to let my hair down for a little bit. I actually felt a bit dizzy after my first bottle of beer and really drunk from it, one beer, cheap date alert! My friends came round we had a lot to drink and eat for that matter. It's nice to indulge in the things I couldn't before, it's a tiny consulation, I have been eating pate, runny eggs, and now drinking but I'm only having a little break, I would much rather be pregnant but obviously it's out of my hands atm.
> 
> Melih, It sounds like you have had a terrible ordeal, all that for your first pregnancy as well, I really feel for you. I kind of feel like I had a really easy time in comparrison, but for me it was only from going on this site that I knew to opt for d&c, that was right for me and I'm glad I did, but i understand that some women don't want to or have the choice. Tbh I think I had started to miscarriage natually the night before the op and the day of, I think if they had left me any longer then it would have happened, I'm glad it didn't though.
> 
> We too will be trying in January, so hopefully it won't be long for either of us. It's great news that your levels are back down to 2 now, your body should be getting back to normal now. I understand what you and the other ladies are saying about June being the perfect month, I'm gutted too that we can't have June anymore, it felt like a nice month to have a baby, I had a December one with Eva, it was freezing breast feeding and very expensive this time of year! Oh well, guess I'm destined to a life of poverty in December! hehe x
> 
> Stefnjunk, I really hope you are okay now, it sounds horrible what you're going through, I'm so sorry for you xClick to expand...


----------



## vegasbaby

Stef: I am so sorry you are in pain. They really should have given you something strong to take. I hope you are feeling better today. Let us know how you are doing. We are here for you. 

Jasmine: Glad you had as nice an evening as possible. I only ended up with one drink too. It's all I need these days. I don't mind being a cheap date. 

Last night and this morning I had some cramping. Not too bad, but I guess it means things are shrinking down or something. 

Did any of you name your baby? My dh wants to name him/her. Of course not knowing the gender is a bit of a problem. I know he needs this for closure, but I'm not sure. I told him he could name it (he doesn't like me calling the baby it). I think he settled on Chris (as it could go both ways). I suppose I have detached myself a little from this child knowing that because of the genetic issues it would have never been a child that could have lived, like it was never really a baby even though it was and it had a heartbeat and looked normal until it all just ended. I hate every bit of this situation. We are all too good of people to have been given something only to have it taken away. I'm sorry, I'm just feeling a bit down today. Hope you all are feeling OK.


----------



## StefNJunk

vegasbaby :hugs: We aren't naming the baby, even though we both know in our hearts it was a boy. He doesn't even want to see it as a baby, I think it hurts him too much to think of it that way. 

Last night was the worst experience of my life. I did pass the sac and baby around 3:30 this morning after 8 1/2 hours and horrific pain and hours of screaming. Wrote about the experience on my new journal - https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/ttc-journals/1519939-no-more-losses-please.html#post23578869

Hope everyone is doing ok today.


----------



## Middysquidge

vegasbaby said:


> Jasmine: Glad you had as nice an evening as possible. I only ended up with one drink too. It's all I need these days. I don't mind being a cheap date.

I had quite a few drinks but was drunk after just one, oops! I definitely needed it though after last week. I'm so sorry Stefnjunk that you had such an awful experience, I'm glad it's over for you. Sending masses of hugs to you, you poor thing x x


----------



## Mamma74

My due date was June 28th 2013... I m/c at 9wks 3 dys and the baby stopped at 8wks 4dys, the day after I heard the heartbeat... I'm at day 6 of bleeding.. Still can't get over it... :(


----------



## Megan1986

Mamma74 said:


> My due date was June 28th 2013... I m/c at 9wks 3 dys and the baby stopped at 8wks 4dys, the day after I heard the heartbeat... I'm at day 6 of bleeding.. Still can't get over it... :(

:hugs: I am so sorry for your loss. I was at just about the same point.


----------



## Middysquidge

So sorry Mamma74 and Megan1986, it's not fair :(


----------



## Mamma74

It's not...
Today is my 6th day and I've been having temperature up to 100.4.. I managed to get it down, but I'm worried... Anybody else?


----------



## Meli_H

*bluebird*
omg, 2 years apart would have been perfect!! sigh...
I know what you mean about the feeling that a piece of your family is gone forever. 
I feel the same way, like we're incomplete..not sure if this feeling will ever go away?? I hate this feeling!!

*vegasbaby,*
what a coincidence-you an I having the same DD, and our husbands having bdays around that time also! 
It's funny because you bring up a good point--that if we are lucky, we will end up with a baby born around the same time we were trying to avoid--late fall and holiday season. Funny how this changes things-now I am NOT picky as to when my baby is born--just as long as my baby is healthy.

*Some of the the most important things I learned from my experience are the following:*

*1.* *I am not in control of anything--as much as I plan and plan and execute something, I am not really in control. God is...*

*2.* *I would tell anyone who will listen to me that if they are ever in this horrible situation, and start miscarrying naturally, don't try to be strong or a martyr. Go to the ER stat to make sure that you can get the hard stuff LOL, not any of this over the counter meds that dont work--they are for the birds!!*

*3.* *OR, if you are able to choose between d&c or medically managed, and decide to go the medically managed route, INSIST on the hard core real meds-like morphine or hydrocodone...trust me, the pain that you will most likely experience are basically labor pains/cramps.*

*jasmine,*
so glad to hear you had a great time last night. I also got a little buzzed from 1 glass of wine, and I'm normally not a lightweight lol!
I am still spotting heavily, I can't tell whether it's AF or not, but I guess at this point it doesnt matter since I dont plan to start trying again until January. I've already bought TONS of the OPK's from the Dollar Tree (I didnt evenknow they sold them there--saved me loads of money, before I was buying them from Walmart and paying $8 for tests). 
I won't start using the OPK's until after I at least stop bleeding...

Hopefully we'll both have good news in late Jan/early Feb!

With this pregnancy that I lost, I had been taking regular prenatal vitamins, and Similac Expecta DEHA supplement. 
I have still been taking my prenatals, but what I am doing different is that I just started taking folic acid supplements and the baby aspirin daily.
I plan to do the Robitussin thing also around the time of ovulation.

*Anybody else thinking of doing anything different the next time they start TTC?*


----------



## Meli_H

vegasbaby said:


> Stef: I am so sorry you are in pain. They really should have given you something strong to take. I hope you are feeling better today. Let us know how you are doing. We are here for you.
> 
> Jasmine: Glad you had as nice an evening as possible. I only ended up with one drink too. It's all I need these days. I don't mind being a cheap date.
> 
> Last night and this morning I had some cramping. Not too bad, but I guess it means things are shrinking down or something.
> 
> Did any of you name your baby? My dh wants to name him/her. Of course not knowing the gender is a bit of a problem. I know he needs this for closure, but I'm not sure. I told him he could name it (he doesn't like me calling the baby it). I think he settled on Chris (as it could go both ways). I suppose I have detached myself a little from this child knowing that because of the genetic issues it would have never been a child that could have lived, like it was never really a baby even though it was and it had a heartbeat and looked normal until it all just ended. I hate every bit of this situation. We are all too good of people to have been given something only to have it taken away. I'm sorry, I'm just feeling a bit down today. Hope you all are feeling OK.

vegasbaby,

No, we didn't name our baby. I can't bear to. I know that I am the Queen of Denial, but denial seems to be a succesful coping mechanism for me LOL. I really wish that I could be strong like you and name my baby, because it feels wrong to me NOT to, but detachment/denial is my modus operandi.


----------



## Meli_H

StefNJunk said:


> vegasbaby :hugs: We aren't naming the baby, even though we both know in our hearts it was a boy. He doesn't even want to see it as a baby, I think it hurts him too much to think of it that way.
> 
> Last night was the worst experience of my life. I did pass the sac and baby around 3:30 this morning after 8 1/2 hours and horrific pain and hours of screaming. Wrote about the experience on my new journal - https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/ttc-journals/1519939-no-more-losses-please.html#post23578869
> 
> Hope everyone is doing ok today.

Stef,
I just read your journal. It's heartbreaking, and I'm so sorry you had to go through this. It sounds like the worst of the physical pain has passed--now to concentrate on healing the emotional and mental pain...


----------



## Meli_H

Mamma74 said:


> It's not...
> Today is my 6th day and I've been having temperature up to 100.4.. I managed to get it down, but I'm worried... Anybody else?

*Mamma74 and Megan1986,*

So sorry to hear about both of your losses..
It totally sucks but hopefuly the worst of the physical pain/process has passed..

*Mamma74,*

Not sure about your temperature question..are you saying that you've had a temp since you started the MC 6 days ago? Actually, now that I think about it, my answer to your question is the same, regardless of whether you've had the high temp for 6 days, or just started having a high temp recently. I would definitely suggest seeing a DR about it. I'm not a nurse, but I believe that a high temp means the body is fighting an infection, and if you don't have other symptoms as one would have if they are coming down with a cold or flu (cough, nasal congestion, etc) then I would definitely be concerned and want to be seen ASAP..*because, although you may be able to get the high temp down with meds, all it's doing is masking the high temp. **You don't want to mask a symptom, you want to treat it...*


----------



## vegasbaby

Mamma74: I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with Meli, it might be a good idea to call your doctor and discuss the fever. You need to take care of yourself at this time. 

Meli: I don't think I am going to do much differently when I ttc because I think I finally figured out what worked for us. OPK's, vitamin B6 (to help lengthen my short luteal phase) and vitamin C (because it can't hurt and I hear it helps). I bought those cheap Wondfro OPK's off of Amazon along with HPT's of the same brand. I think I paid $15 for 40 OPK's and 10 HPT's all together. I use the cheap OPKs every day until I get what looks like a positive and then I check it with my very expensive Clearblue monitor that gives me a smiley face if it is positive. This way I was not wasting money. I monitored for two months before I got my bfp whereas I had been trying almost a year before I started all this. Not sure when I will start monitoring again. I think my doctor will insist I use some sort of birth control for a few months while they monitor my hcg levels (again, I had a weird pregnancy that includes a lot of medical follow-up). 

I really need to start decorating the house for Christmas, but I think the manger scene might upset me. I started crying the other day when I read the story of the nativity to my dd. She just handed me some stupid game of hers that requires her to spell out the word "baby" and now that has upset me. There are reminders everywhere I look and it is hard to get my emotions in check at the moment. How are all you handling things?


----------



## nessaw

I teach 5/6 year olds and am finding the whole xmas thing quite difficult.strugglong to find much enthusiasm.one of my class asked if i had any kids on fri and when i got back from being off with the mc they asked was it my tummy.


----------



## sweetmommaof2

JadeEmChar said:


> I was due in june at some point I have no idea when because I wasn't keeping a record of when my lmp was. Went in for a dating scan to see only a sac then went back 3 weeks later to see only a gs again. My hcg had gotten to 45,000 at supposedly 8 weeks.
> 
> I would have had 2 children in march and 2 in june :(
> 
> Sending massive virtual hugs to you all




vegasbaby said:


> Hi, can I join this group? I was due June 2nd, but went in for my 12 week check-up (actually week 13) to find that my baby's heart had stopped beating somewhere around week 8 (just days after my first ultrasound where we saw a strong hb). It appears as though I had a partial-molar pregnancy, so there was no way this baby would have ever made it to term. I haven't read all the way through this thread yet, but has anyone else experienced this sort of mc? Sweetmomma, you post above indicates that you may have. At least I have an answer as to why, but it doesn't make it any easier. I like the idea of a Christmas ornament to honor the child. I would like some way to remember and this sounds like an appropriate tribute.
> 
> Going in today for my d&c. Wish me luck!
> 
> So sorry for all the losses here. I hope we all go on to have our rainbow babies.

I am so sorry for your loss! I wasn't told if I had that or not. I only know that it was a missed miscarriage... The baby had died but the placenta was still healthy and my body didn't want to let it go.... I hope your proceedure went well and that you can start the heeling process... Lots of hugs and everyone is welcome in this thread. You can share your story and talk to others... :hugs: :hug:


----------



## sweetmommaof2

Jasmineivy said:


> Hi ladies,
> 
> Can I join in with this group too? I would have been due June 3rd, mmc at 12 week scan baby was 9 weeks :(
> 
> I had d&c last Thursday (22nd) and am having some very faint bleeding still, a few pains and feel a bit faint, was my first day back at work today so I'm thinkin the faint feeling is down to this!
> 
> I took my first pg test today, it was a negative but I didn't use FMU. Is anyone getting positives when it's not FMU, or are you all using FMU? Anyway, I'll try again in the morning! My OPKs came too and I'm excited to be using them again after one natural cycle!
> 
> I'm trying to keep myself busy, Im a bear artist. I mak traditional mohair teddy bears and have decided to make one in honour of my little Pippin, it's a black 5 way jointed bear called 'Sorrow' and I'm also knitting my non existent new baby a baby blanket because it takes a good few months to knit, my aim is to have a BFP before it's finished!
> 
> Hope all you ladies are doing okay, or at least better. Sending masses of hugs x x

I have not had a d & c before but am wondering could your dizzyness be from low iron? I would ask your Dr if they could check your levels... I am sorry for your loss. I wish I could knit... I pike your ideas and that way you are not stressing out so you can get pregnant easier... :hugs: :hug:


----------



## sweetmommaof2

angel2010 said:


> I am really sorry you ladies are here. I am so sorry for your losses.
> 
> I got a bfn on a test Friday or Saturday with really diluted urine and a positive on Sunday with fmu. It was pretty faint though. I passes my baby on the 9th.

Sorry what is fmu? Still learning all the lingo....


----------



## sweetmommaof2

StefNJunk said:


> Waiting to pass baby and sac here... just found at yesterday at 11+3 that baby died around 8 weeks, within about 2 days of first ultrasound and hearing HB.
> 
> Midwife told me I can give it until next week to pass naturally, but after that I should do something to avoid infection. Since I'm steadily bleeding and have minor cramps, I decided to give it until tomorrow afternoon. I need to move on...
> 
> I'm just wondering how long it will take for everything to get back to normal so we can try again. Last MC I had in August was not missed and was only 5+2, so my HCG levels dropped quickly, within a week. I assume because this was missed and the sac continued growing after the baby stopped, that the HCG levels continued rising? We didn't test because we confirmed miscarriage with an ultrasound.

I am so sorry for your losses... I had that as well... They told me it was a missed miscarriage.... My numbers were going up 200 every few days... They said they were still. Rising because the placenta was still healthy... Mine was confirmed by ultrasound as well... Hugs sweetie


----------



## sweetmommaof2

vegasbaby said:


> Stef: I'm glad you found this thread. I was so sorry to see your post on the June baby thread the other day. It just seemed like we should have all been in the clear by now. I hope you pass everything quickly so you can move on-at least to some extent.
> 
> Today I am mad. I am mad at statistics that say things like once you've heard a heartbeat then you have a tiny chance of miscarriage. I am mad that I got pregnant with something that would never develop into a normal child and that I was given such false hope at my first ultrasound. I mad that this could happen again. How the hell I am supposed to prevent two sperm from fertilizing my egg? I am mad that I may have to wait a year to start TTC again because my type of pregnancy could give me cancer.
> 
> Jasmine: Enjoy that glass of wine. They only injected me with antibiotics so I've been drinking (only one glass a night) since I found out my baby had no heartbeat. I also enjoyed real sushi the night before my d&c. At least there are a few things we can enjoy now that we couldn't while being pregnant. Of course, I know we would trade it all for a healthy baby. One of these days.....

I hope your numbers go back down really quick and stay down so you don't get the cancer... I don't know if having a d&c ups your risk or not but my Dr wanted me to come in every two weeks to check my hcg levels to make sure they are going down properly because if they go up that meant cancer... I got really lucky... Lost the baby November 4th and my numbers were at 8.4 by the 14th and 1.8 by the 28th.... I have to make a follow up now to see when I can start trying again.... Originally she said after the proceedure and the first cycle then it moved to after my cycle gets normal and I need to have 3 normal cycles after that!!! Hopefully that isn't true... Hope and pray you don't get the cancer...


----------



## StefNJunk

How is everyone doing today? Had a rough weekend myself. Just wanted to send out some hugs :hugs:


----------



## vegasbaby

Stef: My weekend was just OK. I sort of yelled at my dh because he wanted to go to church on Sunday and I told him he could go alone and that I was pretty angry at the big guy upstairs. We didn't go. We rarely go anyway so why go now. 

Am I the only one who is trying to pretend this didn't happen? I think at times I am trying too hard to get on with life. I went for a run both Saturday and today. Just three miles, but perhaps I am pushing myself too much considering I had my d&c on Wednesday. I felt fine after other than a getting a charley horse Saturday night (boy those hurt!). I think I am in denial that I might have to wait six months or more to try again (based on my particular pregnancy issue). Personally I feel as if my hcg level drops to zero in a few weeks then I should be able to try again after my next cycle starts. I figure it may take a while, so why not go for it. Again, I may be in la la land.

How is everyone else feeling about their loss and where do you all stand on trying again? Surely we will all be luckier next time.


----------



## StefNJunk

I spent most of my weekend in pjs and lounging on the couch, too tired to do much. Nearly passed out in a store yesterday, though, when I found out OHs mom had gotten Xmas presents for the baby.

I know the feeling of trying too hard to move on. There were moments this weekend where I felt good, ready to move on, then I felt guilty for feeling good. We can't win! Everyone deals with things differently, though, so I know with time it'll be better. I'm trying to see it this way - the losses are sad, but they are happening because our perfect, healthy LOs aren't quite ready for us yet.

I want to try again ASAP, so we will probably wait the one cycle again, like we did last time. I think the only thing that would change this is if we find a house quickly and the stress of moving puts it off a bit.

vegasbaby, do you have a journal on here?


----------



## Middysquidge

Hi girls,

I'm annoyed with Kate and Wills being pregnant, I don't want everyone to go baby crazy like they went wedding crazy when they got married! How selfish of them, hehe, just kidding! It gives me an incentive though to get my BFP before theirs is born!

Also started knitted my baby blanket and thought to myself, 'You're in here somewhere between the start and finish of this blanket baby!'

Also, just found out OH is off to Las Vegas with work possibly more than likely during our first 'o' in January!

Welcome to the thread sweetmommaof2, your girls are gorgeous! 

Stef, sorry to hear you're not feeling too good.

vegasbaby, I take my hat off to you running so soon after the d&c, all I did was drink wine and I got very dizzy! Hope you didn't push it too much.

Masses of hugs for the June angels today x


----------



## vegasbaby

Stef: I'm glad you did have some moments of happiness this weekend. I hear there will be more of those moments and fewer of the sad ones. Don't feel guilty about being happy. I do keep trying to focus on the positive which is that it is the holidays and now I have no restrictions on what I can eat, drink or do. They have set up an ice skating rink here (we are in Florida so it is a real treat) and I think I want to go ice skating as I've never done it before. If I was still pg then I wouldn't have gone. 

No, I do not have a journal. Maybe I should start one. I feel all I would do right now is fill it with a bunch of rage. Maybe I'll start one when I am cleared to TTC so I can document a more positive journey (though a frustrating one, if it takes as long as this past time). I am lucky enough that there is a thread for other women who have gone through molar pregnancies and I see how many of them have their rainbows and that gives me hope. I am fully confident that all of who were to have June babies will get pregnant with our rainbows in the nearish future.


----------



## StefNJunk

Jasmineivy, I got annoyed with my cousin's pregnancy myself! Although, to be fair, she's just annoying as is! The day I was waiting to go for the ultrasound to find out if I was miscarrying she posted on Facebook about how happy she is with her perfect pregnancy, no morning sickness, not too much weight gain, perfect perfect perfect. Honestly, it's all she ever posts about. She's mentioned how she has to not gain too much weight because she has two weddings to be at shortly after the baby is born. I started thinking about unsubscribing from her updates, and finally did the other day when she posted she doesn't think she should have to go to jury duty because she's 6 months pregnant and she'd rather spend the day shopping. 

Anyway, mini rant done! I just know your LO will be happily baking when you finish that blanket!


----------



## StefNJunk

vegasbaby said:


> Stef: I'm glad you did have some moments of happiness this weekend. I hear there will be more of those moments and fewer of the sad ones. Don't feel guilty about being happy. I do keep trying to focus on the positive which is that it is the holidays and now I have no restrictions on what I can eat, drink or do. They have set up an ice skating rink here (we are in Florida so it is a real treat) and I think I want to go ice skating as I've never done it before. If I was still pg then I wouldn't have gone.
> 
> No, I do not have a journal. Maybe I should start one. I feel all I would do right now is fill it with a bunch of rage. Maybe I'll start one when I am cleared to TTC so I can document a more positive journey (though a frustrating one, if it takes as long as this past time). I am lucky enough that there is a thread for other women who have gone through molar pregnancies and I see how many of them have their rainbows and that gives me hope. I am fully confident that all of who were to have June babies will get pregnant with our rainbows in the nearish future.

I can't really think about things I can do now that I couldn't, it makes me too sad. OH asked if I wanted a Dr. Pepper and told me "You're going to be impreggerated (yes, he used this word, lol) again very soon, you might want to do things you wouldn't do before for a minute." 

I almost feel like my journal right now is too filled with sadness, but I also felt the need to start it now. I'm not very comfortable talking to most people about my emotions, but because there are so many women here going through the same or similar situations, I feel much better about opening up, and I do believe it's helping. 

If you do decide to start one, be sure to let me know.

Anyone else here that has one, I'd love the links!


----------



## vegasbaby

Jasmine: I read the news about Will and Kate today and thought, gosh not another pregnancy. Of course I also thought if she is having such severe morning sickness then it is still pretty early for them to be announcing and how horrible it would be if they lost their baby and had to tell the whole world. The world has been on bump watch since they got hitched and it sort of sucks for them that they can't keep the news to themselves for very long.

I drank wine too. It was wonderful. 

Sorry your dh will be gone during your o time. If he needs/wants any info on Vegas, I lived there up until three years ago and worked at one of the casinos so I can tell you anything you want to know. January is a great time to be there as it is normal winter and not so hot as it is in the summer. Can you go too? My dd was conceived there (we moved to Orlando when I was 35 weeks pregnant). Perhaps I need to go back as maybe that is my lucky place. We still own our house there and rent it to a friend. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we "borrowed" one of the bedrooms for a few minutes :haha:.


----------



## jessandaj

Jasmineivy said:


> Hi girls,
> 
> I'm annoyed with Kate and Wills being pregnant, I don't want everyone to go baby crazy like they went wedding crazy when they got married! How selfish of them, hehe, just kidding! It gives me an incentive though to get my BFP before theirs is born!
> 
> Also started knitted my baby blanket and thought to myself, 'You're in here somewhere between the start and finish of this blanket baby!'
> 
> Also, just found out OH is off to Las Vegas with work possibly more than likely during our first 'o' in January!
> 
> Welcome to the thread sweetmommaof2, your girls are gorgeous!
> 
> Stef, sorry to hear you're not feeling too good.
> 
> vegasbaby, I take my hat off to you running so soon after the d&c, all I did was drink wine and I got very dizzy! Hope you didn't push it too much.
> 
> Masses of hugs for the June angels today x

I was annoyed to I mean shes a princess she can have whatever she wants and doesn't have to work for it just cause a balding prince choose to marry her and we have to flipping hear about it all day even thoug it affects us in no way what they do cause we don't live there. Well at least I don't anyways I don't know about everybody lol


----------



## Middysquidge

StefNJunk said:


> Jasmineivy, I got annoyed with my cousin's pregnancy myself! Although, to be fair, she's just annoying as is! The day I was waiting to go for the ultrasound to find out if I was miscarrying she posted on Facebook about how happy she is with her perfect pregnancy, no morning sickness, not too much weight gain, perfect perfect perfect. Honestly, it's all she ever posts about. She's mentioned how she has to not gain too much weight because she has two weddings to be at shortly after the baby is born. I started thinking about unsubscribing from her updates, and finally did the other day when she posted she doesn't think she should have to go to jury duty because she's 6 months pregnant and she'd rather spend the day shopping.
> 
> Anyway, mini rant done! I just know your LO will be happily baking when you finish that blanket!

Thanks Stef, I have had to remove so many people from my home page subsribes, not through pregnancy issues but just because they annoy me so much. Then one night I drank loads of wine and deleted about 150 friends, oops, so I have about 90 now. So I can imagine why you did that, even more so with her lack of sensitivity! 

The day after I had my operation my sister in law asked me to make their baby a mohair bear (They take about a fortnight to make). She didn't mean me any harm on purpose but I was literally so upset, angry even! I thought why an earth would I want to sit around making your baby a bear when I have just had mine surgically removed, arggggghhhhh, people don't understand! I know it's not their fault. Still annoying though, gosh I'm horrible :haha:


----------



## Middysquidge

vegasbaby said:


> Jasmine: I read the news about Will and Kate today and thought, gosh not another pregnancy. Of course I also thought if she is having such severe morning sickness then it is still pretty early for them to be announcing and how horrible it would be if they lost their baby and had to tell the whole world. The world has been on bump watch since they got hitched and it sort of sucks for them that they can't keep the news to themselves for very long.
> 
> I drank wine too. It was wonderful.
> 
> Sorry your dh will be gone during your o time. If he needs/wants any info on Vegas, I lived there up until three years ago and worked at one of the casinos so I can tell you anything you want to know. January is a great time to be there as it is normal winter and not so hot as it is in the summer. Can you go too? My dd was conceived there (we moved to Orlando when I was 35 weeks pregnant). Perhaps I need to go back as maybe that is my lucky place. We still own our house there and rent it to a friend. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we "borrowed" one of the bedrooms for a few minutes :haha:.

Hey, ooh I just clicked you are 'Vegasbaby' I'm so clever, NOT! :haha:
Thank you so much! I may be getting back to you with a few questions then! He will be there from 5th to 12th January with work, I can't go, we work at the same place though but no! Apparently he is going to the Consumer Electronic Show, I know sounds exciting doesn't it! Actually, he doesn't want to go, he's such a bore I mean homebody, hehe! I'm encouraging him all the way, apart from the 'o' situation it's a great opportunity! We concieved our dd in York where we used to live and we're moving back there soon, that thought crossed my mind too, we walk passed our old house all the time and I thought I wonder of we could just sneak in and have a quick bonk, I'm sure neither of them would mind at all! Especially not yours though, I mean what are friends for, do it!

Also, about Wills and Kate, I read somewhere that they were passed first tri but then the acute sickness, would that go on passed first tri? I hope they don't lose it but seen as though the palace announced it I reckon they will have had numerous scans and be at a safe enough time! I'm still annoyed with them though, just for the record!


----------



## Middysquidge

ps Vegasbaby, I drank wine it was wonderful comment made me chuckle! I know I'm making myself sound like a right wino on here, it's not intentional, I promise! x x


----------



## Meli_H

vegasbaby said:


> Mamma74: I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with Meli, it might be a good idea to call your doctor and discuss the fever. You need to take care of yourself at this time.
> 
> Meli: I don't think I am going to do much differently when I ttc because I think I finally figured out what worked for us. OPK's, vitamin B6 (to help lengthen my short luteal phase) and vitamin C (because it can't hurt and I hear it helps). I bought those cheap Wondfro OPK's off of Amazon along with HPT's of the same brand. I think I paid $15 for 40 OPK's and 10 HPT's all together. I use the cheap OPKs every day until I get what looks like a positive and then I check it with my very expensive Clearblue monitor that gives me a smiley face if it is positive. This way I was not wasting money. I monitored for two months before I got my bfp whereas I had been trying almost a year before I started all this. Not sure when I will start monitoring again. I think my doctor will insist I use some sort of birth control for a few months while they monitor my hcg levels (again, I had a weird pregnancy that includes a lot of medical follow-up).
> 
> I really need to start decorating the house for Christmas, but I think the manger scene might upset me. I started crying the other day when I read the story of the nativity to my dd. She just handed me some stupid game of hers that requires her to spell out the word "baby" and now that has upset me. There are reminders everywhere I look and it is hard to get my emotions in check at the moment. How are all you handling things?

Hi vegasbaby,

BTW, keep meaning to tell you that your DD is too cute!! Thanks for the Vit C info-I bought some last night and have added it to my arsenal LOL. I wish I would have thought to buy the OPKs and HPTs online..oh well. Hopefully I wont need to buy too many more :winkwink:

Our tradition is to decorate inside and outside during the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. This year, I had already decided to take a break from the full on decorating, because my intention was to start decorating my nursery during my winter holiday/xmas break. (I work for a college and we get 2 weeks off, plus I add some accrued vacation time, and I end up being out for 3 weeks). I wanted to do all the nursery decorating and not have to deal with breaking down and putting all the xmas decorations away in January. Decorating is fun, but I *hate* taking down and putting them away.

Obviously, we dont have a need for a nursery at this point, but during my pity party I decided to stick with the plan of not decorating. Dont get me wrong-we will still put up a xmas tree and decorate it, and of course purchase gifts for my family, but we wont be going crazy with the decorations.

I feel the same as you.but I alternate between trying to pretend this didnt happen, and getting depressed and mope aroundStill havent brought myself to work out (Ive been milking the convalescence period for much too long :winkwink: but it gets cold around here and its hard to leave the comfort of my home to workout with DH in the evenings). I have promised myself to start my regular gym workout class tomorrowfor sure!

When I can, I try look at the positive side of things, as you mentioned. Want a margarita? Have one! Want some sangria? Have some more LOL! Will also be going to do some snow activities next month that I couldnt do had I still been pg


----------



## Meli_H

Hi Jasmine, vegasbaby and jessandj,

I thought the same thing this morning when I read the news about Kate Middletons pg news. OMG! As if I dont have enough reminders, now Ill have to deal with this cr*p. I kind of feel like she maybe is close to as far as along as I *should* have been right now--15 weeks. Its not fairbut I guess I have to deal with it.

Oh, and Im realizing that I probably sound like an alcoholic, but I dont care :haha: 

As long as I dont drink when Im TTC, its all good. I plan to keep enjoying my adult drinks at least throughout this year, and see what happens lol :winkwink:

Update: I think AF finally arrived on Sat Dec 1! :happydance: Light cramping (nowhere near my usual unbearable cramping pains), and the flow is nowhere near my usual monthly flow, but it is heavier than the spotting/bleeding I've been experiecing since my MC 11/1/12. I guess I'll know for sure if I finally stop bleeding in a few days, but I'm hopeful so that my cycle can get back to regular schedule...


----------



## vegasbaby

Jasmine/Meli: Neither of you sound like winos/alcoholics. Of course I may be one so it is hard for me to judge. Btw, when I conceived my dd I wasn't charting and wasn't really trying and the day before I found out I was pregnant I went out with some friends and drank a lot. I also had some wine after getting my bfp, but before I saw my doctor. The moral of this story is that she is perfect and a glass or two while ttc should have no ill effects. No reason to worry more than we already will. 

Meli: Thank you for saying my dd is cute. She is, but she is a handful! I feel guilty on here that I have a child when so many of you don't. She has been a great distraction for me, but then I look at her and wonder why it couldn't happen again. She took no effort to get here and tried for my angel for almost a year. Perhaps the universe was trying to tell me not to worry so much about my ability to conceive, but the universe gets the final word on when I get to have my earth baby. That is the new spin I'm putting on things. Can we try to buy into that?

Meli, congrats on your AF. Are you going to try again or are you not ready yet?

Jasmine: I would have been upset about your SIL's request too. Also, I know all about the CES in Vegas. It is the biggest convention of the year. It is also worth noting that it usually falls on the same week as the big porn convention and the adult entertainment awards (I am not joking). When I worked at one of the casinos (I had an office job) we would reserve a table at a restaurant near the lobby so we could watch the porn stars walking around. It was really something to see and I saw a lot on a daily basis living in Vegas. 

Stef: I understand about not wanting to talk to people about the experience. Writing it all down is so much easier and it does help. I think keeping it all in would just make it worse. Also I like your oh's term "impreggerated". Sounds like something my dh would say. 

OK, off to go grocery shopping. My dh thinks we should all still eat.


----------



## Middysquidge

Wooohhooo congrats on your AF Meli, that's exactly a month after your miscarriage, that's great! I have everything crossed for you for ttc! I think I might be ovulating very soon, it's very annoying just ignoring it and waiting but it's the right decision! 

Ohh Vegasbaby, my OH is gonna love that! I'll probably be a nervous wreck though, haha, I just told him about it, it's VERY pleased! Is the porn convention in the same building? Maybe I'll get OH to bring us back some awesome porn, will make ttc all the more fun, hehe! It's so funny that you used to camp out and spy on all the porn stars, that sounds really fun!

x


----------



## Meli_H

*vegasbaby,*

You bring up good points. I have to admit, when I was 6 weeks pregnant, I had a sip (just a little one) of beer. We were at a fair, and it was so HOT and I was dying of thirst, and the cold beer just looked so goodMy dh gave me his cup and said, go ahead and have a sip. nbd. I looked around to make sure that my mom, sil or other family wasnt looking, and took a quick sip. It was heaven! And that quick sip erased any craving I had for more cold beer lol!

Theres no need for you to feel guilty about having your dd when some of us dont have one yet. I know that you know that, because its not a rational thought, but then again, we ALL go through rational and irrational stages, right! Im happy you have a dd already--wishing you another healthy baby!* I LOVE the following comment you made, and agree wholeheartedly:**Perhaps the universe was trying to tell me not to worry so much about my ability to conceive, but the universe gets the final word on when I get to have my earth baby. *

I think we'll start trying in January. I want to have one full cycle before i start trying, so hopefully in the beginning/mid of January we will start trying, and this time I'll do the Robitussin thing too!


----------



## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> Wooohhooo congrats on your AF Meli, that's exactly a month after your miscarriage, that's great! I have everything crossed for you for ttc! I think I might be ovulating very soon, it's very annoying just ignoring it and waiting but it's the right decision!
> 
> Ohh Vegasbaby, my OH is gonna love that! I'll probably be a nervous wreck though, haha, I just told him about it, it's VERY pleased! Is the porn convention in the same building? Maybe I'll get OH to bring us back some awesome porn, will make ttc all the more fun, hehe! It's so funny that you used to camp out and spy on all the porn stars, that sounds really fun!
> 
> x

Thanks Jasmine!

I know what you mean. ALthough I don't plan to TTC this month, I still plan to track my ovulation, just to make sure everything's back in order soon (crossing my fingers).

If my dh was going to vegas at the same time during a porn convention, i would be a wreck, and resentful too LOL~! I don't know how you can deal with it, you're a stronger woman than I am lol!


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## vegasbaby

Today has been hard. I realized after I dropped my dd off at mother's day out that a week ago at the same time I was heading off to my ob appointment so I could hear my baby's heartbeat. As we know I heard nothing but bad news. 

I go in tomorrow for my check up and I don't know what to expect my doctor to say other than the fact that she is going to want to take blood for a while until my hcg goes down/away and I'm sure I'll get some lecture about needing to go on birth control since I will not be "allowed" to TTC for a while. 

A week ago today should have been so different. Today I am less than one week past my d&c, but my body has already started to revert back to its old self. I've lost the two baby pounds I packed on plus some (even though I have been eating quite a lot). My boobs are deflated and my stomach is back to its flatish state (no matter what I've done to work on it since having my dd it still has a bit of flab). The only physical signs left are the bruises on my arms from the crappy IV job. I look a bit like a junkie and sometimes I wish I could take something to escape from all this. I knew there would be bad days, but part of me hoped I could be stronger than this. 

Jasmine: I hate to disappoint you or your dh, but I checked and the adult entertainment expo doesn't start until January 17 and the CES is over on the 11th. There used to be some overlap, but not any more. Rest assured there will still be 1000's of hookers in town for the CES convention. Remember, most of the CES attendees are tech guys who don't have wives nor the social skills to obtain a girlfriend and these nice hookers make it easy on the socially awkward. My dh and I used to like to play "guess the hooker" when we were out at night on the strip. It is pretty obvious when some old ugly dude is hanging out with a totally beautiful and very young woman. Also, they mostly all wear black dresses and hang out at the central bars of each casino. My father in law was even propositioned once. Hilarious. And to think I moved away from that place to the land of Disney. My how times have changed!


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## Middysquidge

Hi Vegas and other girls,

Sorry to hear you have had a hard day Vegas. Don't think that you are not strong because you might just surprise yourself, it's only 6 days since your op. Mine was almost two weeks ago now and I'm only just starting to feel more positive about things. 

I know it's slightly harder for you as you have to wait though, that really is shit but I think you'll find the headspace to deal with it and you will get through it. I have a little girl who looks to be around the same age as yours. She is called Eva and is turning three next week and she gets me through things with her crazy outlook on the world. I like to see things through her eyes sometimes! She is a right little character. It's so amazing to see her growing up and becoming her own person, not a little baby anymore!

I had an appointment in my diary to hear my baby's heartbeat on 27th December, it upset to see that too. My boobs are back to being smaller now and where my womb had began to pop out and be really rounded is now flat again and it makes me feel really empty and down. 

About the convention, I'm secretly glad haha! I don't want my OH going off the rails with some sexy hooker, that's not part of the plan! For a start he is meant to be in Yorkshire bonking his little butt off! Yeah, Las Vegas to Orlando that is some juxtaposition isn't it! That's like our lives too! We lived in Liverpool for years, we led a very different life, had no kids, did what we wanted, went to some crazy parties, took all kinds of drugs all of the time and now we are so straight laced you wouldn't believe it, live in a little village, never go out, hardly ever drink, ahem! All we want now is another baby! 

I hope you will be okay, it will get easier for you and good luck at the docs! Meli and Stef, you're both starting ttc in January then, that's the same as me! How about you Jessandj? When are you trying lovely and sweetmommaof2? Stef, I hope you are starting to feel a little brighter too? I kind of feel a bit redundant atm, I only work three days a week and that was okay when I was pg but now I'm not I feel guilty about it and feel guilty that my dd seems bored and is ready for school! I can't get anymore hours at work and I'm kind of scared they will strategically make me redundant now they know I want to go off on maternity!

p.s Sweetmommaof2, I'm so sorry I said welcome to the thread to you when you bloodywell started it, I'm a right goon, sorry x 

x x x


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## angel2010

Sorry I have been MIA lately, I will try to catch up with everyone tonight.


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## Middysquidge

Was wondering where you had gone angel! Hope you're okay x What's MIA? x


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## angel2010

My internet was down:( MIA- missing in action:haha:

I still need to catch up on all of you, but before I do, I hope you all don't mind a little vent from me.

As some of you may know, my sil is pregnant. Due 2 weeks before I would have been. I thought I was taking it okay and that I wasn't too bothered. She has mentioned her pregnancy once or twice on facebook and has been pinning a few pregnancy things on pinterest, nothing over the top. But for some reason, it is making me very angry. Maybe I am getting into the anger phase of a loss. I don't know. It makes me so mad to see her post, mad like she is rubbing it in on purpose, when I KNOW she isn't. I even had a dream about it last night. I am scared that if we see them for the holidays, that I won't be able to handle it.:nope:


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## Middysquidge

Don't worry Angel, I think it's a totally normal reaction. WE want something so desperately and it feels like everyone has it apart from us. Lately, it feels like everywhere I look everyone is pregnant or just had a baby and we're in this stupid limbo phase where I can't even get on with trying, it's not fair.

I just did the most stupid thing, I hate being me, it's like I have no brain to mouth filter like other people. I just bumped into someone from work, I don't even know her that well, she's lovely though. Anyway, I was asking het how she was and she was like 'oh, I'm just soooo tired', I thought I wonder if she is pregnant, looked down at her belly, thought she's not showing. So I said 'How come?' Anyway, she went 'I'm pregnant.'

I was gutted. I thought not another one! Stupidly, I said really casually 'Oh, I just lost one actually, I was 12 weeks pregnnat but lost it at 9 weeks.'

Well as you can imagine she looked shocked and upset, it's only her first baby too. I can't believe I just made someone feel so awkward it wasn't intentional but everytime someone mentions babys or pregnancy all I can think of is my poor little baby bean that died. I'm so upset and I hate myself.


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## angel2010

I'm sorry that happened. I am struggling with saying that type of thing too. When I saw her last post, it said something like "I just did a 5k, pregnant and all". This is so awful, (please don't judge me fo being so honest) but I thought in my head "That's great, I gave birth to my baby in the toilet!". My thinking is so warped right now. I go tomorrow for my first check-up since it has happened. I wonder if I should mention my thoughts and feelings.


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## Middysquidge

Yes, my thoughts and feelings have become like this too. I am being really blunt about it sometimes because I feel really angry that it happened. I wouldn't judge you for saying that, I said something really similar the other day and think things like that all the time!
I would maybe mention it to them, I might too. I have had no offer of appointment or counselling or anything, feel like I'm supposed to get on with it now and I feel like I could really do with talking to someone about it too.

Big June angel hug for you sweetie, I totally understand how you feel x


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## StefNJunk

Jasmineivy said:


> I hope you will be okay, it will get easier for you and good luck at the docs! Meli and Stef, you're both starting ttc in January then, that's the same as me! How about you Jessandj? When are you trying lovely and sweetmommaof2? Stef, I hope you are starting to feel a little brighter too?

Yep, as long as all goes properly and af comes along. I was thinking to expect her around Xmas time, but I still haven't stopped bleeding, so it may be later. either way, I should o sometime in January. 

And yeah, I am. OH and I had a talk the other night, he always knows how to make me feel better.

We went to look at a house we've been eying for awhile yesterday. Turned out to be a bust, needed way more work than it looked in the pics (including the deck on the back being torn off and rebuilt, and the ceiling between the kitchen and living room looked as if it were falling down!). Sucks... perfect location, good price (now we know why!), looked good in pics... Moving on to look at more houses.

So I just realized if af does come around Xmas and I o when I'm supposed to (and I'm always very regular, so I SHOULD, unless it's messed up this time) and get preg, my due date will be right around, if not ON, my 30th bday. That would be crazy... last two due dates were on special occasions - first one my anniversary with OH, second one Father's Day.


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## vegasbaby

Good morning ladies. 

Stef: Sorry the house wasn't perfect. You will find the right one soon enough. 

Angel: I know where you are coming from. My SIL is pregnant and I am already trying to figure out how to avoid her at Christmas. She has been nothing but supportive, but I just know it is going to be tough. I think we all need to recognize that we cannot change our situation nor anyone else's, but we can change how we react to others. I read this blog by a woman who went through a miscarriage and cancer and she has this mantra about always choosing joy. It is a hard choice to make right now, but I believe if we let in joy everything around us will change for the better. Big hugs to you. If you need to talk we are all here for you or you can PM me any time. 

Jasmine: You are right. The breeders are everywhere! I saw a pregnant woman crossing the street today and contemplated hitting her with my car. I was still parked at the church where I had just dropped my dd off at mother's day out and this was the kind of thought rolling around in my head. She made it safely to the other side of the street before I even put my car in drive. I hated myself for even thinking it. Who knows what else is going on in her life. My situation could be much better than hers.

So I just got back from my doctor. She freaked me out because she asked if my dh was there and when I said no she asked me to get him on the phone. I told her you can't get reception in the exam rooms so she said we could call him from her office after the exam. Well, she told me everything I already knew. Yes, it was a partial-molar pregnancy. There is a 2-5% chance I might get cancer from it. And then she told me the news I knew was coming and I didn't want to hear: She said that once my hcg levels hit negative (5 or below) then my blood will need to be monitored for six months to make sure no tissue comes back in the form of cancer. I played along, but based on my research once I reach zero then only a three month wait is really needed. I think I can wait that long. I just really need to be back to TTC before I hit my due date. For some reason I feel if I can conceive and carry to term this next baby then this was meant to be since I would have never been able to have the second baby had the first pregnancy not ended. I know that may be irrational, but that is my goal. Of course my hcg may not come down and I may have to have the chemo and all of this may be put on hold for much much longer, but I am staying positive that my numbers will fall and not return. We did not call my dh, as she said we already knew as much as she did. Ahhh, thanks google!


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## StefNJunk

vegasbaby, hoping to find the right house soon! I realize we just really started seriously looking, but I'm not a patient person, and I want everything to be settled.

I COMPLETELY understand wanting to be pregnant before the due date rolls around. I also want to be, and I don't think that thought is irrational at all. It will make what happened have a purpose, and there is nothing irrational with wanting something so devastating to have meaning. I hope all goes well with your hcg dropping and you staying cancer free, sending thoughts <3

I've also had the negative thoughts you ladies have been having, and it sucks. I feel like I need to put more positive energy into the universe, and I believe I have been, but hearing about other people's pregnancies and seeing other pregnant women feels like a punch in the gut. I actually yelled at the radio when the DJ started talking about Kate and Will. Whenever I hear the words "mom," "baby," etc., I make comments to myself in my head. It sucks.

And angel, no one here is going to judge you for that thought. I've thought the same thing. :hugs:


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## jenkb123

My due date was June 28. My husband and I had been ttc since we got married a year and a half ago. I know that a lot of people with fertility issues try unsuccessfully for a lot longer than that. I have always loved and wanted kids. I feel like I have been waiting for a really long time for the timing to be right to start a family. When we finally started ttc I just figured it should happen right away. I am 37 and my husband is 41 so we are getting older and feel our biological clocks ticking. My cycles were not regular and it was really difficult to pinpoint the right time of the month to conceive. I did a bunch of tests and everything seemed to be normal except we couldnt be sure that I was ovulating (which is obviously essential) My last cycle prior to our bfp I used Provera and Clomid, did follicle tracking, and got the HCG shot. We were both so excited when we realized that it all worked and we were finally pregnant. I realized that I was probably pregnant on my birthday but due to the HGC shot I had been given I couldnt be sure if it was a real bfp or if it was due to the leftover HGC in my system from the shot. Once we were certain it was a real bfp we told our families right away (as they knew what we had been going through with the fertility treatments) and everyone was so excited. 

I think because we had had so much trouble conceiving there was a part of me that didnt really feel like it was real. I had been scheduled for an early scan at 7 weeks (due to the increased chance of multiples with clomid they wanted to see if there was more than one baby). In my mind I was waiting for this scan to really believe that it was real. I went by myself as I wasnt expecting to be able to see much and didnt think to tell my husband to take time off of work to come with me. Due to the follicle tracking I was quite certain of my dates. I should have been 7 weeks. They did the internal u/s and the doctor doing the scan said that the baby was measuring 5w3d. I knew right away that this was not possible. She said everything looked good for 5 weeks. When I saw my own doctor a few minutes later she told me what I already knew in my heart. That it was quite possible the baby had stopped developing at 5 weeks. She said we needed to test my HSG levels and do another ultrasound a week later. I realized at that point that I had noticed my pregnancy symptoms disappearing over the last week or so. My incredibly sore breasts were barely hurting. The indigestion I was feeling at night when I was trying to go to bed had stopped. Even though I wanted desperately to find a way to believe that it was possible that we could be two weeks behind the dates I was certain of I knew that things were not going to be ok. My husband did not want to believe that there could be a problem. He kept saying we didnt know for sure and sending me links to articles about other people that had noticed a decrease in their symptoms and things turned out ok. It was really hard for me to see him so hopeful when I knew in my heart our baby was gone. 

The next day I started cramping and spotting. We found out that my husbands grandma had passed away overnight. My parents cat (he was 14 years old) took a turn for the worse and had to be put down. In the meantime I was in limbo not knowing for sure what was going on. It was a very difficult few days. The bleeding and the cramping got progressively worse and my husband started to face the possibility that we had lost our baby. I went back in to the doctor to get the results of the blood tests. I was expecting them to tell me that my levels were dropping to get the definitive answer I needed. Instead they told me that my levels had increased (although it was not enough to show things were ok). I had to wait 4 more days to get the ultrasound to show me the definitive results. During this time we went out of town to my husbands grandmas funeral. I completed my miscarriage in the car driving to and from and attending a funeral. The cramping and the pain was getting significantly worse and I was having a lot of clotting. I knew for 95% sure what was happening (although there was still that small part of me that was clinging to the hope that things could still be ok). When I finally got to go for my u/s they confirmed what I already knew. There was nothing there. The only good thing was that I had already completed the miscarriage and did not need any further medical interventions. I suspected that they would not find anything on the scan as the pain and clotting had peaked and reduced the night before. I stopped bleeding completely a couple of days later. I only bled for about 10 days, at least four of these days were quite light. 

We are planning to try again after one regular cycle. Everyone keeps saying to me that it is such a positive thing that we got pregnant. That we found the magic cocktail of drugs and testing to achieve a pregnancy. Logically I know that is a positive but that doesnt change the fact that we lost our baby. I am feeling hopeful that we can get pregnant again. I hope that it wont take as long. It is harder however to believe that we will get to have a baby to bring home with us. I truly believe that things happen the way they are supposed to happen. I just dont know why they were supposed to happen the way they did. I like a lot of you have feelings of jealousy towards people who are having healthy pregnancies and who have new babies. Especially when I see people who never wanted to get pregnant or werent even trying having babies. It doesnt seem fair and I have to try really hard not to show them how I feel and to act happy for them. 

I really appreciate this forum. It is really helpful to read stories from other people who have gone through this same thing. It is really helpful to tell my story. Thank you to everyone here and I really am sorry for each and every one of your losses!


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## Meli_H

vegasbaby said:


> Today has been hard. I realized after I dropped my dd off at mother's day out that a week ago at the same time I was heading off to my ob appointment so I could hear my baby's heartbeat. As we know I heard nothing but bad news.
> 
> I go in tomorrow for my check up and I don't know what to expect my doctor to say other than the fact that she is going to want to take blood for a while until my hcg goes down/away and I'm sure I'll get some lecture about needing to go on birth control since I will not be "allowed" to TTC for a while.
> 
> A week ago today should have been so different. Today I am less than one week past my d&c, but my body has already started to revert back to its old self. I've lost the two baby pounds I packed on plus some (even though I have been eating quite a lot). My boobs are deflated and my stomach is back to its flatish state (no matter what I've done to work on it since having my dd it still has a bit of flab). The only physical signs left are the bruises on my arms from the crappy IV job. I look a bit like a junkie and sometimes I wish I could take something to escape from all this. I knew there would be bad days, but part of me hoped I could be stronger than this.
> 
> Jasmine: I hate to disappoint you or your dh, but I checked and the adult entertainment expo doesn't start until January 17 and the CES is over on the 11th. There used to be some overlap, but not any more. Rest assured there will still be 1000's of hookers in town for the CES convention. Remember, most of the CES attendees are tech guys who don't have wives nor the social skills to obtain a girlfriend and these nice hookers make it easy on the socially awkward. My dh and I used to like to play "guess the hooker" when we were out at night on the strip. It is pretty obvious when some old ugly dude is hanging out with a totally beautiful and very young woman. Also, they mostly all wear black dresses and hang out at the central bars of each casino. My father in law was even propositioned once. Hilarious. And to think I moved away from that place to the land of Disney. My how times have changed!

Hi vegasbaby,
How was your dr appt today? when do you find out if your hcg level has gone down more? I know what you mean about looking like a junkie LOL! Its amazing with the experiences of all these needle picks-sometimes the pricks hurt tons, other times dont even feel it, sometimes I have horrendous bruising, other times I cant even tell--I guess its all about the individuals technique when they are taking blood/administering IVs. Lets not forget the horrendous pain of ripping off the tape from the skin, and that darned adhesive that stays behind and is a b*tch to get off!!! 

Sorry to hear that you were kind of in a funk yesterday-hope today is better. Just keep trying to take solace in your ddand you* ARE* very strong, look at all youve gone through! Geesh..sometimes we are so hard on ourselves, arent we?


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## StefNJunk

Meli_H said:


> Lets not forget the horrendous pain of ripping off the tape from the skin, and that darned adhesive that stays behind and is a b*tch to get off!!!

I just have to say - for me, that's usually worse than the needle. Lol.


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## Meli_H

vegasbaby said:


> Good morning ladies.
> 
> Stef: Sorry the house wasn't perfect. You will find the right one soon enough.
> 
> Angel: I know where you are coming from. My SIL is pregnant and I am already trying to figure out how to avoid her at Christmas. She has been nothing but supportive, but I just know it is going to be tough. I think we all need to recognize that we cannot change our situation nor anyone else's, but we can change how we react to others. I read this blog by a woman who went through a miscarriage and cancer and she has this mantra about always choosing joy. It is a hard choice to make right now, but I believe if we let in joy everything around us will change for the better. Big hugs to you. If you need to talk we are all here for you or you can PM me any time.
> 
> Jasmine: You are right. The breeders are everywhere! I saw a pregnant woman crossing the street today and contemplated hitting her with my car. I was still parked at the church where I had just dropped my dd off at mother's day out and this was the kind of thought rolling around in my head. She made it safely to the other side of the street before I even put my car in drive. I hated myself for even thinking it. Who knows what else is going on in her life. My situation could be much better than hers.
> 
> So I just got back from my doctor. She freaked me out because she asked if my dh was there and when I said no she asked me to get him on the phone. I told her you can't get reception in the exam rooms so she said we could call him from her office after the exam. Well, she told me everything I already knew. Yes, it was a partial-molar pregnancy. There is a 2-5% chance I might get cancer from it. And then she told me the news I knew was coming and I didn't want to hear: She said that once my hcg levels hit negative (5 or below) then my blood will need to be monitored for six months to make sure no tissue comes back in the form of cancer. I played along, but based on my research once I reach zero then only a three month wait is really needed. I think I can wait that long. I just really need to be back to TTC before I hit my due date. For some reason I feel if I can conceive and carry to term this next baby then this was meant to be since I would have never been able to have the second baby had the first pregnancy not ended. I know that may be irrational, but that is my goal. Of course my hcg may not come down and I may have to have the chemo and all of this may be put on hold for much much longer, but I am staying positive that my numbers will fall and not return. We did not call my dh, as she said we already knew as much as she did. Ahhh, thanks google!

Vegasbaby,

Sorry that I responded to your earlier post before reading this one, where you basically answered my questions about how your dr visit went.. Best wishes and positive thoughts that your your hcg levels come back negative *NOW,* so that you can start the 3 month clock of waiting, and of course, getting the all clear to TTC (I know thats whats gonna happen-youll wait 3 months and your health will be perfectly fine, but we should humor your dr and wait for the 3 months).

I know she wants you to wait 6 mos, but I agree with you. If youve done research that says 3 mos is good, I would go for it too!! Now of course, everybodys situation is different, but look at how many drs tell us we can TTC even before af arrives, and look at how many drs say we cannot? Just keep listening to your body-youll know whats best for you.

Keep us posted on when your hcg levels come down to 5 or below so we can send positive thoughts your way for the 3 month waiting period!!

LOL your comment about the breeders! Ive had similar thoughts myself lately!


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## Meli_H

Hi vegasbaby & Jasmine!

I know I said in an earlier post that I wanted to wait until January to start TTC, *but* I think I've changed my mindnow that I think AF arrived 12/1/12..I may start using the OPKs in the next couple of days, and if I do O, then I *think* I may start TTC this month

I wanted to wait a full cycle because I wanted my uterine lining to replenish, but Ive read some others say that when a d&c is done, the uterine lining is scraped clean, and since I had a natural mc, Im thinking/hoping that my uterine lining is not so diminished and would support a pregnancy (if it happens).


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## Meli_H

this was in reply to Stef, when she said:
I just have to say - for me, that's usually worse than the needle. Lol. 

and I say to that--no kidding lol!


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## vegasbaby

Meli: Go for it. If you have already had af then hasn't your uterine lining already replenished (as a period is just the shedding of that lining). If you are ready and you feel good about it then do it. Your body will also know if it is the right time and if it is not then you just keep on trying until it happens. Of course I believe using OPKs to make sure the timing is right is a good thing to do as well. If you are going to put in the effort of putting out you might as well be sure it is the right time.


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## angel2010

sweetmommaof2 said:


> [
> 
> Sorry what is fmu? Still learning all the lingo....

First morning urine:)



Jasmineivy said:


> I hope you will be okay, it will get easier for you and good luck at the docs! Meli and Stef, you're both starting ttc in January then, that's the same as me! How about you Jessandj? When are you trying lovely and sweetmommaof2? Stef, I hope you are starting to feel a little brighter too? I kind of feel a bit redundant atm, I only work three days a week and that was okay when I was pg but now I'm not I feel guilty about it and feel guilty that my dd seems bored and is ready for school! I can't get anymore hours at work and I'm kind of scared they will strategically make me redundant now they know I want to go off on maternity!

We are also thinking about ttc again in Jan.



StefNJunk said:


> So I just realized if af does come around Xmas and I o when I'm supposed to (and I'm always very regular, so I SHOULD, unless it's messed up this time) and get preg, my due date will be right around, if not ON, my 30th bday. That would be crazy... last two due dates were on special occasions - first one my anniversary with OH, second one Father's Day.

If my cycles go regularly, and we get a sticky bean the first cycle, it would be due within a couple of weeks of my 28th birthday.



vegasbaby said:


> Angel: I know where you are coming from. My SIL is pregnant and I am already trying to figure out how to avoid her at Christmas. She has been nothing but supportive, but I just know it is going to be tough. I think we all need to recognize that we cannot change our situation nor anyone else's, but we can change how we react to others. I read this blog by a woman who went through a miscarriage and cancer and she has this mantra about always choosing joy. It is a hard choice to make right now, but I believe if we let in joy everything around us will change for the better. Big hugs to you. If you need to talk we are all here for you or you can PM me any time.
> 
> Jasmine: You are right. The breeders are everywhere! I saw a pregnant woman crossing the street today and contemplated hitting her with my car. I was still parked at the church where I had just dropped my dd off at mother's day out and this was the kind of thought rolling around in my head. She made it safely to the other side of the street before I even put my car in drive. I hated myself for even thinking it. Who knows what else is going on in her life. My situation could be much better than hers.
> 
> So I just got back from my doctor. She freaked me out because she asked if my dh was there and when I said no she asked me to get him on the phone. I told her you can't get reception in the exam rooms so she said we could call him from her office after the exam. Well, she told me everything I already knew. Yes, it was a partial-molar pregnancy. There is a 2-5% chance I might get cancer from it. And then she told me the news I knew was coming and I didn't want to hear: She said that once my hcg levels hit negative (5 or below) then my blood will need to be monitored for six months to make sure no tissue comes back in the form of cancer. I played along, but based on my research once I reach zero then only a three month wait is really needed. I think I can wait that long. I just really need to be back to TTC before I hit my due date. For some reason I feel if I can conceive and carry to term this next baby then this was meant to be since I would have never been able to have the second baby had the first pregnancy not ended. I know that may be irrational, but that is my goal. Of course my hcg may not come down and I may have to have the chemo and all of this may be put on hold for much much longer, but I am staying positive that my numbers will fall and not return. We did not call my dh, as she said we already knew as much as she did. Ahhh, thanks google!

Thanks, you are right. It is very hard though. 
If I were you, and I did all my research I think I would feel okay trying after just 3 months too.



Meli_H said:


> Hi vegasbaby & Jasmine!
> 
> I know I said in an earlier post that I wanted to wait until January to start TTC, *but* I think I've changed my mindnow that I think AF arrived 12/1/12..I may start using the OPKs in the next couple of days, and if I do O, then I *think* I may start TTC this month
> 
> I wanted to wait a full cycle because I wanted my uterine lining to replenish, but Ive read some others say that when a d&c is done, the uterine lining is scraped clean, and since I had a natural mc, Im thinking/hoping that my uterine lining is not so diminished and would support a pregnancy (if it happens).

I say go for it too. If you feel emotionally ready. Good luck!



vegasbaby said:


> Meli: Go for it. If you have already had af then hasn't your uterine lining already replenished (as a period is just the shedding of that lining). If you are ready and you feel good about it then do it. Your body will also know if it is the right time and if it is not then you just keep on trying until it happens. Of course I believe using OPKs to make sure the timing is right is a good thing to do as well. If you are going to put in the effort of putting out you might as well be sure it is the right time.

Pretty sure this is right.


----------



## Megan1986

I think AF has finally showed up. Still light, but looks like my body is trying to get back to normal! yay


----------



## StefNJunk

I'm questioning if I'm ever going to get a break. One of my cats, one I've had for over 10 years and adopted very shortly after moving over 1000 miles away from all my family, is missing. She's been my baby for over a decade, I'm freaking out. We thought she was just hiding yesterday, but when she wasn't in her normal spot when OH got up this morning, we searched the entire house and she was nowhere to be found. He and I both searched outside with flashlights, and I searched twice more once the sun came out. 

This last week has been some sort of cruel joke :(


----------



## Meli_H

Meli_H said:


> Hi vegasbaby & Jasmine!
> 
> I know I said in an earlier post that I wanted to wait until January to start TTC, *but* I think I've changed my mindnow that I think AF arrived 12/1/12..I may start using the OPKs in the next couple of days, and if I do O, then I *think* I may start TTC this month
> 
> I wanted to wait a full cycle because I wanted my uterine lining to replenish, but Ive read some others say that when a d&c is done, the uterine lining is scraped clean, and since I had a natural mc, Im thinking/hoping that my uterine lining is not so diminished and would support a pregnancy (if it happens).

vegasbaby,

U r rightI am such an idiot. I guess I just couldnt understand how my uterine lining can be replenishing at the same time that I am bleeding from my mc. I started using OPKs on 11/11, which was 11 days after the mc started. I used them for about a week and gave up, thinking I was just wasting them but I did use them for at least 7 days, and before the mc I used to ovulate around day 14-15 of my 27 day cycle. I am pretty sure that I didnt ovulate last month during the mc.

Since I guesstimate today is the 6th day of af, I will start the OPKs tomorrow..crossing my fingers I O soon..but I will TRY not to stress out about it. We'll see--hoping this month moves by quickly and I can get distracted by the holidays to take my mind off of things...


----------



## Meli_H

Megan1986 said:


> I think AF has finally showed up. Still light, but looks like my body is trying to get back to normal! yay

YAY! :happydance:


----------



## Meli_H

StefNJunk said:


> I'm questioning if I'm ever going to get a break. One of my cats, one I've had for over 10 years and adopted very shortly after moving over 1000 miles away from all my family, is missing. She's been my baby for over a decade, I'm freaking out. We thought she was just hiding yesterday, but when she wasn't in her normal spot when OH got up this morning, we searched the entire house and she was nowhere to be found. He and I both searched outside with flashlights, and I searched twice more once the sun came out.
> 
> This last week has been some sort of cruel joke :(

Stef,
Oh no...I hope she comes strolling back ASAP!! You don't need extra stress and heartbreak, especially during this time of your life. When it rains, it pours, right? :growlmad:


----------



## Meli_H

Ive also started browsing other forums here about acupuncture. I *think* that if I dont get pregnant this month, Ill check out an acupuncturist to evaluate me. Im intrigued because I read something about stagnation, and how many women suffer from that. It sounds like its a buildup of blood in the uterus, and doesnt permit good blood flow to a baby, resulting in mc. It mentioned that stagnation is the reason why many women, after giving birth, suffer from less painful cramping and blood flow from their subsequent periods. I have always suffered from painful cramping and high blood flow. The pain is debilitating, so for the last ten years or so, as soon as I feel af coming along, I start medicating myself with strong painkillers, and have to do that for at least the first 24 hours of af.

Ive learned so much stuff from this website!! Ive read that acupuncture can help with regulating cycles. Although Ive always been very regular with af, who knows, I may just need some assistance regulating after my mc. I also read something about the luteal phase, and how *when *a woman ovulates, is very important. Just to know that one ovulates, isnt enough. Supposedly, if a woman gets pregnant, but ovulation didnt take place at the right time, the woman can still get pregnant, but will ultimately mc because the egg wasnt a 'good egg'. I also read that once a woman is pregnant, acupuncture can assist with keeping the pregnancy viable..soemthing about assisting with the blood flow to the uterus..So much info my head is spinning..and sorry if I mangled all the acupuncture info, just going off of the top of my head.

Anyways, I figure that acupuncture may help me all around. Its going to be an expense that my health insurance won't cover, but once the holidays and associated expenses are over, I will sacrifice other luxuries to try it.

And here all I thought was that once I *actually got pregnant*, I would be good to go. HA! Silly me


----------



## Middysquidge

vegasbaby said:


> Good morning ladies.
> 
> 
> Jasmine: You are right. The breeders are everywhere! I saw a pregnant woman crossing the street today and contemplated hitting her with my car. I was still parked at the church where I had just dropped my dd off at mother's day out and this was the kind of thought rolling around in my head. She made it safely to the other side of the street before I even put my car in drive. I hated myself for even thinking it. Who knows what else is going on in her life. My situation could be much better than hers.

Sorry Vegas, I just had to have a little giggle at contemplating mowing down a pregnant woman, makes me wonder how man people might have felt like that about us when we were pg with our little ones! You really have no idea how it feels until you go through losing one, all rational goes out of the window. I'm exactly the same! :haha:

I also wanted you to know that what you said here:
I just really need to be back to TTC before I hit my due date. For some reason I feel if I can conceive and carry to term this next baby then this was meant to be since I would have never been able to have the second baby had the first pregnancy not ended.
I found very poignant and spiritual in a good way, not irrational one bit, I think it's the way I would now like to think about having one before my due date. It's a baby that never ever could have been had we not lost the others, almost like they gave their lives for them so it's all the more special.

Megan1986, really really great news about your AF, I'm really please the witch got you hehe! Ooh, maybe I should change my siggy now, I actually do want the witch to get me time to take off me ruby shoes, fat lot of good they were anyway!

Stef, I'm so sorry about your cat, is there any sign of her yet? I really hope she turns up for you. My cat is always going off for ventures sometimes they last days, we used to live on a farm so he reverts back sometimes! Fingers crossed for you x

Meli, I know what you mean about learning loads from here! In general I'm a bit of a research geek anyway. I love scouring the net and finding out what I can, like Vegas says too, you can learn what you need from there often more than the doctors can tell you! My friend tried acupuncture when she was ttc as it took 3 years and it did actually work! I don't know anything about it but good luck with your OPKs, let us know when you get a positive! I've been testing for a few days now. If day of the d&c was day 1, I'm day 14 now and no positive as of yet and have no idea about my chart. Here it is, can anyone shed any light:

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2660af

I really want to try this month, I feel like I am about to 'o' any day. DH is saying we can if I really want but he would rather wait one cycle like we were told, he said he would be extremely upset if anything went wrong and would blame it on not waiting. I don't know what to do. 

Here's the thing, my dad passed away suddenly just 2 years ago, we were soul mates. His birthday was 25th August and that would be my due date if we caught this month and didn't wait for AF. We would also get a bfp before Xmas on the slim chance we did catch this is. It's only a slim chance but those things make it feel like fate, also the fact OH will be away fro the January 'o'. On the downside if it went wrong and we lost it again, OH would blame me! What shall I doooo? x


----------



## jenkb123

Does anyone know how long it takes for a post to show up if you get the message that the post has to be approved by the moderator?? I posted my story yesterday morning and it has not shown up on here yet. It was my very first post in a forum. It was a bit long as I had never told my story before. I am not sure if it is lost in space or if it will still show up on here. I'd hate to have to do it again...I don't want to post something else and then have it show up later. I posted to other threads after I sent that post and everything else has just posted right away.


----------



## Middysquidge

Hey Jenkb123, welcome to the forum and the thread. I presume your story is a sad one as you are joining us in here, so I'm sorry for that but there are some good girls in here! You can have support from us , big hugs to you. You can get in touch with the administrators you know I think in forum help and testing areas, that's annoying isn't it, I'm sure it will be posted soon enough though especially if you just send them a little message enquiring where it is x x


----------



## vegasbaby

OK, so I got my hcg results in this afternoon and I went from 29,000 to 369 :happydance::happydance::happydance:. Of course I know it will fall really slowly from here, but I'm on my way down a lot faster than I expected. Again, I figure if it falls quickly then my doctor might give me the green light sooner. On another note my mom told me yesterday that she had a message for me. She told me that she knew that my baby was being taken care of by her mom in heaven. Honestly, I'm not always sure what I believe, but I want to believe this is true with all my heart. My grandmother was a wonderful woman and she has been in our spot. My grandmother had six miscarriages, including several stillborns, before she had my mom and uncle. I can't imagine how going through something like this must have been almost 70 years ago without the internet and people like you for support, but somehow she kept going. Had my grandmother stopped trying my mom wouldn't be here and neither would I. So the lesson is never give up. 

Jenkb: It should have turned up pretty quickly. Did you post it to this thread? I'm sorry if it hasn't shown up. I think there is a way you can contact the moderators. I am assuming if you posted here then you have suffered a loss and for that I am so sorry. On the other hand you will find so much support and encouragement here so you are in the right place. Welcome!

Jasmine: I say if you are up for trying then do it. I'm sure your dad is watching over you and now your little angel. Remember due dates aren't set in stone. My dd was supposed to be a March 8th baby and arrived in mid-February (the day before my brother's b-day and this is the brother I don't like). Any day is as good as the next, just bring us all healthy babies!

Stef: I hope you find your cat. I had two cats go missing. One was a three year old Himalayan that my mom swears one of the local college kids took as he went missing on their graduation day (I have chosen to believe her and imagine him still as a 13 year old spoiled kitty in some thief's house). Also, the other cat that went missing took a week or so vacation from us one winter. We are pretty sure he went into someone's garage seeking some heat and then they left and locked him in while they were away. He came home and was fine, just a bit hungry. He didn't stray too much after that. Hopefully your cat will return to you soon. :hugs:

Meli: I'd love to try acupuncture as well. I have wonky cycles as it is and have wondered if it would help. Can't hurt, right?

Megan: Woo hoo for AF! Who ever thought that was something to cheer about?!

Angel: Hi.


----------



## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> vegasbaby said:
> 
> 
> Good morning ladies.
> 
> 
> Jasmine: You are right. The breeders are everywhere! I saw a pregnant woman crossing the street today and contemplated hitting her with my car. I was still parked at the church where I had just dropped my dd off at mother's day out and this was the kind of thought rolling around in my head. She made it safely to the other side of the street before I even put my car in drive. I hated myself for even thinking it. Who knows what else is going on in her life. My situation could be much better than hers.
> 
> Sorry Vegas, I just had to have a little giggle at contemplating mowing down a pregnant woman, makes me wonder how man people might have felt like that about us when we were pg with our little ones! You really have no idea how it feels until you go through losing one, all rational goes out of the window. I'm exactly the same! :haha:
> 
> I also wanted you to know that what you said here:
> I just really need to be back to TTC before I hit my due date. For some reason I feel if I can conceive and carry to term this next baby then this was meant to be since I would have never been able to have the second baby had the first pregnancy not ended.
> I found very poignant and spiritual in a good way, not irrational one bit, I think it's the way I would now like to think about having one before my due date. It's a baby that never ever could have been had we not lost the others, almost like they gave their lives for them so it's all the more special.
> 
> Megan1986, really really great news about your AF, I'm really please the witch got you hehe! Ooh, maybe I should change my siggy now, I actually do want the witch to get me time to take off me ruby shoes, fat lot of good they were anyway!
> 
> Stef, I'm so sorry about your cat, is there any sign of her yet? I really hope she turns up for you. My cat is always going off for ventures sometimes they last days, we used to live on a farm so he reverts back sometimes! Fingers crossed for you x
> 
> Meli, I know what you mean about learning loads from here! In general I'm a bit of a research geek anyway. I love scouring the net and finding out what I can, like Vegas says too, you can learn what you need from there often more than the doctors can tell you! My friend tried acupuncture when she was ttc as it took 3 years and it did actually work! I don't know anything about it but good luck with your OPKs, let us know when you get a positive! I've been testing for a few days now. If day of the d&c was day 1, I'm day 14 now and no positive as of yet and have no idea about my chart. Here it is, can anyone shed any light:
> 
> https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2660af
> 
> I really want to try this month, I feel like I am about to 'o' any day. DH is saying we can if I really want but he would rather wait one cycle like we were told, he said he would be extremely upset if anything went wrong and would blame it on not waiting. I don't know what to do.
> 
> Here's the thing, my dad passed away suddenly just 2 years ago, we were soul mates. His birthday was 25th August and that would be my due date if we caught this month and didn't wait for AF. We would also get a bfp before Xmas on the slim chance we did catch this is. It's only a slim chance but those things make it feel like fate, also the fact OH will be away fro the January 'o'. On the downside if it went wrong and we lost it again, OH would blame me! What shall I doooo? xClick to expand...

Hi Jasmine!
If I was in your shoes, I would go for it!! I truly believe things happen for a reason. I believe my mc happened for a reason--I think there was something wrong with my angel and it thats why my mc happened. Like they say, if your body is ready, it will happen, but if its not ready, it wont happen.

I think your reasons are valid to ttc now, instead of waiting for next cycle. Like you said, its a slim chance itll happen this month, *but its still a chance.* 
If you dont catch this months egg, then it wasnt meant to be, right? *But, youll never know unless you try. *

Let us know what you decide, and good luck if you decide to go for it!!! Sorry to hear about your dad--I cant imagine that pain. I know your angel isnt alone-your angel is with your dad.


----------



## Middysquidge

That's really really good Vegas, I'm so happy you got a bit of good news! Looks like your body is doing a good job there! That's an amazing drop isn't it!x x

Aww, thanks to you both saying my angel is with my dad, I hope so, the baby will be in loving hands if so :)

I'll keep you posted on whether or not I decide to go for it, still getting negative OPKs but feel it may be soon! Big decision to make x


----------



## Meli_H

*vegas,*

Thats a quick drop in hcg levels, heres hoping to getting to 5 or less SOON, real soon! I like your moms msg. You make a very good point about your grandmothers strength in suffering her trials and tribulations, and conquering them. If she had given up after her multiple mcs and stillborns, your mother and uncle wouldnt be here, as neither would you and your siblings, and your dd, etc.

*I **LUV** what you wrote earlier--its so very insightful and a point that I had never thought of myself:*

I just really need to be back to TTC before I hit my due date. For some reason I feel if I can conceive and carry to term this next baby then this was meant to be since I would have never been able to have the second baby had the first pregnancy not ended

*jasmine, I LUV what you wrote below, I am going to think of my angel in the same way. You broke down vegas thoughts and expanded on them further.

*I found very poignant and spiritual in a good way, not irrational one bit, I think it's the way I would now like to think about having one before my due date. It's a baby that never ever could have been had we not lost the others, almost like they gave their lives for them so it's all the more special.*

Thanks to both of you-and all the other ladies who have posted thoughts and statements that have resonated with me! *


----------



## jenkb123

Thanks Vegas and Jasmine. I am very sorry for your losses as well!! I did post to this thread. Hopefully it will still turn up! My due date would have been June 28. I had a completed m/c in November (it finished around the 18th). I am really happy I found this forum. It has been really helpful to read everyone's stories. It has given me some answers and hope!! It is comforting to know that other people have the same questions, concerns and feelings that I have been having. 

Vegas - Glad to hear your HSG went down so quickly! I believe your grandma is looking after your baby. It was nice of your mom to say that!! It makes it easier somehow to think that our loved ones that have already passed are looking after our little ones that couldn't stay with us. I cant imagine how much harder it would have been to go through something like this alone back in the days before the internet!! 

I heard something a little while back that I wish I could remember better. Someone said something like, when you get pregnant it means that there is a soul out there that has chosen you to be their mommy. When you miscarry it just means they were just not quite ready to be with us in the physical world but will be soon. I thought that sounded nice. It gives me hope that it will happen someday.


----------



## Middysquidge

I hope we all get to meet with our angels some day, some way or another. My grandparents also had a lot of heartache ttc too. They had my dad no problem but they had a genetic disorder which in their day prevented them from having a second baby, I'll have to ask my grampa what is it called again. They had 11 mc's and a still born baby named Anne, my nanna says she had a full head of black curls. They did eventually go onto have one more, after full blood transfusions I think for mother and baby and my Aunty Anna was born with a full head of blonde curls! So glad she was, we're really close but how do you get through all that in one piece? I guess you don't, pieces off you fall off and stay with them I guess.

Also, vegas about dates your dd was due on my OH's birthday 8th March!

Hope your story turns up Jen! How many weeks were you though? We're all here for you x


----------



## angel2010

Megan1986 said:


> I think AF has finally showed up. Still light, but looks like my body is trying to get back to normal! yay

Yay, that is great!:happydance:



StefNJunk said:


> I'm questioning if I'm ever going to get a break. One of my cats, one I've had for over 10 years and adopted very shortly after moving over 1000 miles away from all my family, is missing. She's been my baby for over a decade, I'm freaking out. We thought she was just hiding yesterday, but when she wasn't in her normal spot when OH got up this morning, we searched the entire house and she was nowhere to be found. He and I both searched outside with flashlights, and I searched twice more once the sun came out.
> 
> This last week has been some sort of cruel joke :(

I am so sorry about your cat. I would be devastated if mine got lost.:hugs:



Meli_H said:


> Ive also started browsing other forums here about acupuncture. I *think* that if I dont get pregnant this month, Ill check out an acupuncturist to evaluate me. Im intrigued because I read something about stagnation, and how many women suffer from that. It sounds like its a buildup of blood in the uterus, and doesnt permit good blood flow to a baby, resulting in mc. It mentioned that stagnation is the reason why many women, after giving birth, suffer from less painful cramping and blood flow from their subsequent periods. I have always suffered from painful cramping and high blood flow. The pain is debilitating, so for the last ten years or so, as soon as I feel af coming along, I start medicating myself with strong painkillers, and have to do that for at least the first 24 hours of af.
> 
> Ive learned so much stuff from this website!! Ive read that acupuncture can help with regulating cycles. Although Ive always been very regular with af, who knows, I may just need some assistance regulating after my mc. I also read something about the luteal phase, and how *when *a woman ovulates, is very important. Just to know that one ovulates, isnt enough. Supposedly, if a woman gets pregnant, but ovulation didnt take place at the right time, the woman can still get pregnant, but will ultimately mc because the egg wasnt a 'good egg'. I also read that once a woman is pregnant, acupuncture can assist with keeping the pregnancy viable..soemthing about assisting with the blood flow to the uterus..So much info my head is spinning..and sorry if I mangled all the acupuncture info, just going off of the top of my head.
> 
> Anyways, I figure that acupuncture may help me all around. Its going to be an expense that my health insurance won't cover, but once the holidays and associated expenses are over, I will sacrifice other luxuries to try it.
> 
> And here all I thought was that once I *actually got pregnant*, I would be good to go. HA! Silly me

It couldn't hurt, so go for it. 
My period got lighter as well as my cramps after having Carter, interesting. If your luteal phase is too short, you can certainly miscarry. I think there is a worry if it gets below ten days (I could be off though).



Jasmineivy said:


> Sorry Vegas, I just had to have a little giggle at contemplating mowing down a pregnant woman

I had a chuckle at this too. I know I have those thoughts too.



jenkb123 said:


> Does anyone know how long it takes for a post to show up if you get the message that the post has to be approved by the moderator?? I posted my story yesterday morning and it has not shown up on here yet. It was my very first post in a forum. It was a bit long as I had never told my story before. I am not sure if it is lost in space or if it will still show up on here. I'd hate to have to do it again...I don't want to post something else and then have it show up later. I posted to other threads after I sent that post and everything else has just posted right away.

I am very sorry you are posting here. This is a great group and will certainly be a great shoulder to lean or cry on.:hugs:


----------



## angel2010

Jasmine, your chart is still a little crazy with the temps. I would just go with your gut and bd when you think you are ovulating. I think when we try again I am going to skip OPKs and just go with o pain and cm. Good luck, hope you catch it!


----------



## Middysquidge

Thanks for looking at my chart hun. :hugs: The chart below that one is the one where I conceived my angel :cry: but at least it's a good chart for comparison. Tbh we haven't bd once yet but have only been allowed since yesterday to be fair to us!

I'm not expecting it to be a normal cycle but I haven't had even a tiny faint OPK yet, I think we will have to wait til Jan after all cos my gut feeling is that cos I got a negative pg test 6 days after op my levels went down quick and I ovulated sooner but if that was the case wouldn't my temps be higher like more of a post ovulation temp? Very confused! Thanks for the advice and if anyone has anymore on the chart please share as I'm a bit giggy you know :wacko:

How are things with you Angel? 

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2660af


----------



## Middysquidge

Okay quick update:
Faint positive OPK today, completely nothing all week up till now, this was from 4am wee! TMI alert also got some very good ewcm today and little cramps, my gut instinct o is on her way tomorrow. So I might just go for it! x x


----------



## vegasbaby

Jasmine: I checked out your new chart too, but also couldn't tell much (especially with the big drop). I feel like it has been so long since I had to deal with temping and charting. I've started taking my temps, but not charting. My temp is still so high. I'll start once I get a period (whenever that happens). If I were you I'd take another OPK sometime this afternoon to see if it has gotten darker and then go for it. Like you dh and I haven't bd yet. Of course it has only been a little over a week since everything happened, but my doc said it was OK. DH tried last night and before we even got started I began to cry. Not sure when I'll ever be in the mood again.


----------



## MrsPhez

Hi ladies,
Jumping in after a long time. It's been 6 weeks since my m/c, 17 days ago had 2 days of brown spotting. Today I got first pos OPK. It's been a while but just want to say hang in there! I had a pos-ish opk when I was spotting. Think it could have been a random bit of hcg because my temps didn't rise. This one is the real thing though, dark as the control. So relieved....


----------



## Middysquidge

Hello MrsPhez :wave:: Congrats on your OPK, are you going for it? Thanks for looking at my chart too and you Vegas! Just took another OPK and it's completely gone back to nothing now! I'm guessing that was my positive this morning, maybe he tail end of it? Who knows, I'm gonna bd tonight and Sunday, see what happens! Vegas, I wouldn't have been ready last week either, only just feel up to it this week, 2 weeks after my op x x


----------



## StefNJunk

So exciting to hear some of you ladies are getting to go for it again now! That makes me very happy :)

And YAY! Just got back from the bathroom and it's the first time in 11 days there was no blood! I'm going to give it until the end of the day to get too excited that it's finally done, but it's looking good! 

And thank you everyone for the thoughts about my cat. We had an appointment with the realtor to look at houses yesterday (made it before she disappeared), so that wasted some time I wanted to be looking for her, but we spent every spare moment outside searching. I found a picture of a cat picked up at one of the animal control centers that looked just like her, so I stopped there before meeting the realtor, but it wasn't her. 

We spoke with all the neighbors and they helped us look and are going to keep an eye out for her. Our next door neighbor said she's seen her hanging around her yard and that she actually spent a good amount of time on her front porch, but she didn't know whose cat it was. OH actually saw her on their front porch on Wednesday, but didn't think anything of it because he thought she was in our house (we assumed she was just hiding out, which she does occasionally). He realized what he had seen when the neighbor mentioned she was sitting there.

So hopefully she's still hanging around her house - she said if she sees her, she'll bring her inside until we're home. I searched this morning before work, but it was chilly and windy, so I think she was still hiding. I'm going to be searching again right when I get home. Was soooo tempted to skip work and search, but I missed last week for the ultrasound and I don't get paid days off. BOOOO.

So yeah, I have a good feeling we'll find her today or that one of our neighbors will, now that they know she's ours.


----------



## jenkb123

Jasmine - I was supposed to be 7 weeks when I went for an early scan (they wanted to check if there was more than one baby as I had taken clomid to achieve the pregnancy). At the scan the baby measured 5w3d. I had't had any bleeding or indication of problems prior to the scan but knew that I couldn't be 5 weeks. We had done follicle tracking after the clomid so we were very sure of my ovulation date. I stared spotting the day after my scan and had completed the m/c by the time I went in for the follow up scan a week and a half later.

I am excited for your positive opk!! It sounds you decided to try again this month after all!! There are no guarantees whenever you try again. I think what matters most is that you feel ready. From what I've read, the main reason they advise that you wait is for dating purposes. I had many cycles in the past that were 50 - 60 days between and where I bled heavily for 3-4 weeks without stopping (sorry for the tmi). That is more time and way more bleeding than I had with my pregnancy and m/c. So I think that lining can replenish quickly!! Especially if it was an early loss. I know what you mean though. If you didn't wait and something happened it would be hard not to feel responsible. Waiting can be so hard!! I saw three different doctors during my m/c and each of them told me something slightly different about when to try again. I came to the realization that there is no right answer!! 

Vegas - I know exactly what you mean. I have definitely not been in the mood since my m/c. My husband has been very patient about it which makes me feel worse (he hasn't done anything to make me feel this way so I don't want him to feel rejected). He says he understands but I wish I could feel back to normal. 

Stef - I hope your cat is home waiting for you on your porch when you get home from work!!


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## StefNJunk

jen, so sorry to hear about your loss. I thought MMCs were more rare, but there are so many of us here who have gone through them (I found out at 11+3 that the baby had stopped growing around 8 weeks, sac had continued growing, had to take Cytotec to complete the miscarriage at 11+6). There are a lot of great women here to talk to if you need anyone, and I'm hear to listen as well!


----------



## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> Thanks for looking at my chart hun. :hugs: The chart below that one is the one where I conceived my angel :cry: but at least it's a good chart for comparison. Tbh we haven't bd once yet but have only been allowed since yesterday to be fair to us!
> 
> I'm not expecting it to be a normal cycle but I haven't had even a tiny faint OPK yet, I think we will have to wait til Jan after all cos my gut feeling is that cos I got a negative pg test 6 days after op my levels went down quick and I ovulated sooner but if that was the case wouldn't my temps be higher like more of a post ovulation temp? Very confused! Thanks for the advice and if anyone has anymore on the chart please share as I'm a bit giggy you know :wacko:
> 
> How are things with you Angel?
> 
> https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2660af

Hi Jasmine,
just wanted to say sorry that I can't shed any light on your chart..I don't know anything about charting, temps, etc...All I do is use the OPK's.


----------



## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> Okay quick update:
> Faint positive OPK today, completely nothing all week up till now, this was from 4am wee! TMI alert also got some very good ewcm today and little cramps, my gut instinct o is on her way tomorrow. So I might just go for it! x x

YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!:happydance:


----------



## Middysquidge

jenkb123 said:


> Jasmine - I was supposed to be 7 weeks when I went for an early scan (they wanted to check if there was more than one baby as I had taken clomid to achieve the pregnancy). At the scan the baby measured 5w3d. I had't had any bleeding or indication of problems prior to the scan but knew that I couldn't be 5 weeks. We had done follicle tracking after the clomid so we were very sure of my ovulation date. I stared spotting the day after my scan and had completed the m/c by the time I went in for the follow up scan a week and a half later.

I'm sorry to hear that Jen, especially as you were using clomid to help you. Is this your first baby you're trying for? You never know you may end up with twins one day! I have heard of people having multiples with clomid after losing one! 

I've got the green light from my OH to dtd tonight and Sunday, very slim chance but we're deffo gonna go for it! Yaay!

Love your new piccy Meli, you're gorgeous! x x x


----------



## Middysquidge

P.s I'm having another little drinkypoo hehe :wine:

Well, I need to get in the mood don't I! x


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## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> P.s I'm having another little drinkypoo hehe :wine:
> 
> Well, I need to get in the mood don't I! x

Hey Jasmine,

Have one (or two) for me, please! I won't be able to start catching up to you for about another 6 hours or so, but the countdown has begun LOL

awww, thanks for your comment. I HATE taking pictures and my dh caught me unaware on that one. We are such a bad match in that regard-he LOVES taking my picture and I HATE him, or anybody else for that matter, taking my picture :growlmad:

oh yah, have fun ttc!! positive thoughts your way!!


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## Meli_H

*Vegas & Jen,*

I havent been in the mood either. This is probably the longest weve ever gone without dtd, and Id better get back into the groove *quick*, before he starts getting resentful (Im kind of feeling those vibes lol). I dont want to get too excited, but I think that I was right about af. I suspected that af came dec 1, because I changed from mid to light spotting, to an actual blood flow. Its been consistent since then, and it seems to be winding down (this morning when I got up to get ready for work, I realized there was no blood flow since I went to bed) soooooooI think that means that af is at the tail end or has ended already. I started using OPKs this morning and Im hoping that Ill o in a week or so, but well see. Tell you what thoughif I do get the o, I will definitely force myself to get back in the mood LOL!

*MrsPhez,*

Sorry to hear of your mc, but good news that youre ovulating!! Yay!

*Stef,*

So glad to hear that you think the spotting is stopping! Will keep my fingers crossed that it DOES stop, and of course, that your kitty comes home! 

*Jen,*

Sorry to hear of your losshope you find some solace here on these boards, as I have. These ladies are very wise!&#8195;


----------



## angel2010

Jasmineivy said:


> Okay quick update:
> Faint positive OPK today, completely nothing all week up till now, this was from 4am wee! TMI alert also got some very good ewcm today and little cramps, my gut instinct o is on her way tomorrow. So I might just go for it! x x

Good luck!!!! 
Not much with me. I want to wait at least two cycle. Also, at 6 weeks preg, I found out my thyroid levels were extremely messed up. VERY hypothyroid at 197 as a tsh level. On November 19th (ten days after I passed the baby), my tsh level was 10.8. I need my level to drop to at least 2.5 before trying again. I am hoping that will be by the end of Jan, but I don't know. I go back to get my levels checked on Dec 31st.


----------



## Meli_H

So, I finally got all my dr records from my ob/gyn (6 week appt) and from the hospital from when I was admitted during my mc. The first time I met my ob/gyn was at my 6 week appt. She took basic med history, looked at my vitals, then did a transvaginal u/s. I explained to her that 15 years ago I had a conization of my cerviz, and I was told then that if I ever got pregnant, I needed to be aware that the conization could cause pregnancy complications, such as incompetent cervix..

So, at my first appt, I made her aware of that, and she said dont worry, Ill take a look at your cervix right now, so she did, and said it looked normal. She then showed me my little angel on the u/s monitor, and said she heard the heartbeat. She then said something like looks good, but I still suggest you wait 4 more weeks, which is your next scheduled u/s, before sharing the news with others. I replied yes, of course, we were planning on waiting til the end of first trimester before tell everybody (which is a white lie, OF COURSE I/we had already told my parents, both brothers, my sil, my mil, a couple cousins I am very close to, and of course they quietly shared the news with others). However, we really were planning to wait before telling the rest of my extended family, our co-workers, etc.

Anyways, back then when she told me that, it sounded strange to me, but I tried to shrug it off--I really did. Fast forward 3 weeks from that first appt, and I had my mc. Now that Ive read so many stories on this website, I really do think that I had a missed mc, and that my angel must have passed away shortly after my first 6 week appt, because, when I passed my angel, it didnt look like it should have, had I really been 10 weeks along. It really looked like maybe it was smaller and less defined, at least it looked different than what I thought it should have looked like at that point (u know, like all those pictures on the internet that show weekly progress)

So, based on her comment, and my angel looking smaller than I expected, I was curious to see my medical records and see what she had noted on my chart, wondering if she suspected a mc from the very beginning, based on the heartbeat and maybe other signs? Well, I dont see a heartbeat noted, and there are some weird acronyms, and I'm wondering *if by any chance*, anybody knows what these highlighted abbreviations mean? I hate calling her office; it took long enough getting my chart record copies and they make me feel like I am bothering them (HELLO, they are MY medical records, and I have a RIGHT to get copies of MY medical records, right?) and I changed medical providers so I dont have to deal with her office anymore!

Anyways, if anybody knows what these acronyms mean, I would be much obliged :haha:
 



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## MrsPhez

The top two are transvaginal ultrasound. CRL usually means Crown to Rump length
so baby measurement, bit stuck on the rest


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## MrsPhez

https://www.babymed.com/pregnancy-fertility-abbreviations-acronyms

This might help, can't see cku or cko on there though.......

Sorry to hear of your loss :hugs:


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## Meli_H

MrsPhez said:


> https://www.babymed.com/pregnancy-fertility-abbreviations-acronyms
> 
> This might help, can't see cku or cko on there though.......
> 
> Sorry to hear of your loss :hugs:

Hi MrsPhez,
Thanks so much! That is so helpful!!!


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## angel2010

I googled ckc medical abbreviation and got these, cold knife conization or chicken kidney cells.
Also did ama, against medical advice and advanced maternal age.

Any of those sound like they could be right?


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## Meli_H

MrsPhez said:


> The top two are transvaginal ultrasound. CRL usually means Crown to Rump length
> so baby measurement, bit stuck on the rest

Mrs Phez,

Thanks!! I never would have figured out what TVUTZ meant, but now that you put it out there, it makes sense! 

Same with the CRL -- crown to rump measurement-I never would have figured that one out.

Now I just need to figure out what that + sign with the circle around it means...


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## Meli_H

angel2010 said:


> I googled ckc medical abbreviation and got these, cold knife conization or chicken kidney cells.
> Also did ama, against medical advice and advanced maternal age.
> 
> Any of those sound like they could be right?

Hi *Angel*,

Cold knife conization is right and makes sense. Now I see that shes referring to my procedure done years ago that I mentioned to her-so I guess shes noting that she sees nothing wrong with my cervix. (I'll go with the cold knife conization instead of chicken kidney cells LOL!)

And AMA-thats *totally* advanced maternal age (Im 40).


Your suggestions fit! This is like a puzzle that y'all have helped me put together!! Thank you!!Now I just need to figure out what the + with the circle around it means


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## MrsPhez

Meli_H said:


> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> I googled ckc medical abbreviation and got these, cold knife conization or chicken kidney cells.
> Also did ama, against medical advice and advanced maternal age.
> 
> Any of those sound like they could be right?
> 
> Hi *Angel*,
> 
> Cold knife conization is right and makes sense. Now I see that she&#8217;s referring to my procedure done years ago that I mentioned to her-so I guess she&#8217;s noting that she sees nothing wrong with my cervix. (I'll go with the cold knife conization instead of chicken kidney cells LOL!)
> 
> And AMA-that&#8217;s *totally* advanced maternal age (I&#8217;m 40).
> I just asked my DH who is a doctor (eyes not ob), he doesn't really recognise the + and circle, the number before it is something to do with either the number of pregnancies you have had or times you have given birth. Does this help? Maybe someone said it already and I missed it.....
> 
> Your suggestions fit! This is like a puzzle that y'all have helped me put together!! Thank you!!Now I just need to figure out what the + with the circle around it means&#8230;Click to expand...

Just asked DH (doctor in eyes not ob). Not sure if you got answer to the number before the circle but he thinks its related to number of times you have either given birth or been pregnant. Does this help?
And the TVUTZ is trasvaginal ultrasound (first 3 letters) The TZ is something else, maybe the area they were scanning (something zone maybe?).


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## angel2010

Put a smile on my face, that working together we were able to figure most of that out.:haha:


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## angel2010

Meli_H said:


> (I'll go with the cold knife conization instead of chicken kidney cells LOL!)

I would too!:rofl:


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## Meli_H

MrsPhez said:


> Meli_H said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> I googled ckc medical abbreviation and got these, cold knife conization or chicken kidney cells.
> Also did ama, against medical advice and advanced maternal age.
> 
> Any of those sound like they could be right?
> 
> Hi *Angel*,
> 
> Cold knife conization is right and makes sense. Now I see that shes referring to my procedure done years ago that I mentioned to her-so I guess shes noting that she sees nothing wrong with my cervix. (I'll go with the cold knife conization instead of chicken kidney cells LOL!)
> 
> And AMA-thats *totally* advanced maternal age (Im 40).
> I just asked my DH who is a doctor (eyes not ob), he doesn't really recognise the + and circle, the number before it is something to do with either the number of pregnancies you have had or times you have given birth. Does this help? Maybe someone said it already and I missed it.....
> 
> Your suggestions fit! This is like a puzzle that y'all have helped me put together!! Thank you!!Now I just need to figure out what the + with the circle around it meansClick to expand...
> 
> Just asked DH (doctor in eyes not ob). Not sure if you got answer to the number before the circle but he thinks its related to number of times you have either given birth or been pregnant. Does this help?
> And the TVUTZ is trasvaginal ultrasound (first 3 letters) The TZ is something else, maybe the area they were scanning (something zone maybe?).Click to expand...

Hi Mrs.Phez,

I've never been pregnant b4 this time, so not sure about the + sign...Thanks for asking your eye dr LOL! I work with physical therapists but they also had no clue what it was...I guess I just have to hold my horses and wait until I actually have to go to a dr appt to find the answer!

thanks again !!


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## Meli_H

angel2010 said:


> Put a smile on my face, that working together we were able to figure most of that out.:haha:

I know, right! This was too cool :happydance:


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## angel2010

Meli_H said:


> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> I googled ckc medical abbreviation and got these, cold knife conization or chicken kidney cells.
> Also did ama, against medical advice and advanced maternal age.
> 
> Any of those sound like they could be right?
> 
> Hi *Angel*,
> 
> Cold knife conization is right and makes sense. Now I see that shes referring to my procedure done years ago that I mentioned to her-so I guess shes noting that she sees nothing wrong with my cervix. (I'll go with the cold knife conization instead of chicken kidney cells LOL!)
> 
> And AMA-thats *totally* advanced maternal age (Im 40).
> 
> 
> Your suggestions fit! This is like a puzzle that y'all have helped me put together!! Thank you!!Now I just need to figure out what the + with the circle around it meansClick to expand...




Meli_H said:


> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> Put a smile on my face, that working together we were able to figure most of that out.:haha:
> 
> I know, right! This was too cool :happydance:Click to expand...

By the way, if that is you in the pic- you DON"T look like you are of advanced maternal age!!


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## MrsPhez

angel2010 said:


> Meli_H said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> I googled ckc medical abbreviation and got these, cold knife conization or chicken kidney cells.
> Also did ama, against medical advice and advanced maternal age.
> 
> Any of those sound like they could be right?
> 
> Hi *Angel*,
> 
> Cold knife conization is right and makes sense. Now I see that shes referring to my procedure done years ago that I mentioned to her-so I guess shes noting that she sees nothing wrong with my cervix. (I'll go with the cold knife conization instead of chicken kidney cells LOL!)
> 
> And AMA-thats *totally* advanced maternal age (Im 40).
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Your suggestions fit! This is like a puzzle that y'all have helped me put together!! Thank you!!Now I just need to figure out what the + with the circle around it meansClick to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Meli_H said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> Put a smile on my face, that working together we were able to figure most of that out.:haha:Click to expand...
> 
> I know, right! This was too cool :happydance:Click to expand...
> 
> By the way, if that is you in the pic- you DON"T look like you are of advanced maternal age!!Click to expand...

I agree, stunning!


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## Meli_H

angel2010 said:


> Meli_H said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> I googled ckc medical abbreviation and got these, cold knife conization or chicken kidney cells.
> Also did ama, against medical advice and advanced maternal age.
> 
> Any of those sound like they could be right?
> 
> Hi *Angel*,
> 
> Cold knife conization is right and makes sense. Now I see that shes referring to my procedure done years ago that I mentioned to her-so I guess shes noting that she sees nothing wrong with my cervix. (I'll go with the cold knife conization instead of chicken kidney cells LOL!)
> 
> And AMA-thats *totally* advanced maternal age (Im 40).
> 
> 
> Your suggestions fit! This is like a puzzle that y'all have helped me put together!! Thank you!!Now I just need to figure out what the + with the circle around it meansClick to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Meli_H said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> Put a smile on my face, that working together we were able to figure most of that out.:haha:Click to expand...
> 
> I know, right! This was too cool :happydance:Click to expand...
> 
> By the way, if that is you in the pic- you DON"T look like you are of advanced maternal age!!Click to expand...

AWWWW thank you! So sweet! :hugs:


----------



## Meli_H

MrsPhez said:


> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Meli_H said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> I googled ckc medical abbreviation and got these, cold knife conization or chicken kidney cells.
> Also did ama, against medical advice and advanced maternal age.
> 
> Any of those sound like they could be right?
> 
> Hi *Angel*,
> 
> Cold knife conization is right and makes sense. Now I see that shes referring to my procedure done years ago that I mentioned to her-so I guess shes noting that she sees nothing wrong with my cervix. (I'll go with the cold knife conization instead of chicken kidney cells LOL!)
> 
> And AMA-thats *totally* advanced maternal age (Im 40).
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Your suggestions fit! This is like a puzzle that y'all have helped me put together!! Thank you!!Now I just need to figure out what the + with the circle around it meansClick to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Meli_H said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> Put a smile on my face, that working together we were able to figure most of that out.:haha:Click to expand...
> 
> I know, right! This was too cool :happydance:Click to expand...
> 
> By the way, if that is you in the pic- you DON"T look like you are of advanced maternal age!!Click to expand...
> 
> I agree, stunning!Click to expand...

Thank you, so sweet, you guys made not just my day, but my weekend LOL!:hugs:


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## StefNJunk

Spent the day after getting out of work searching for my cat. Was walking back to the house a few minutes ago, about to cry, when I saw my flashlight reflect in her eyes. She was still by the neighbors house, about to jump into their dirt cellar. She's home now. Yay!!!

And still no more blood. I think it's finally over.


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## angel2010

StefNJunk said:


> Spent the day after getting out of work searching for my cat. Was walking back to the house a few minutes ago, about to cry, when I saw my flashlight reflect in her eyes. She was still by the neighbors house, about to jump into their dirt cellar. She's home now. Yay!!!
> 
> And still no more blood. I think it's finally over.

Oh my!!! I am so happy for you!!!!:happydance:


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## angel2010

Do you all frequent other parts of the board? For some reason I usually stay here. Every couple of days I will glance around another board, but I feel most comfortable here. I have only even went into wtt once.


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## sweetmommaof2

angel2010 said:


> Do you all frequent other parts of the board? For some reason I usually stay here. Every couple of days I will glance around another board, but I feel most comfortable here. I have only even went into wtt once.

Every once and a while I go to the June baby one... I was a part of that and did meet some awesome ladies there but then it gets too hard because those ladies are going through what I should be.... Kind of hard... Happy for them but hard for mebif that makes since.... I know I am not on here as much as I would like to be but am very busy and am trying to get over a cold.... I am goi.g to try to get on tomorrow and Sunday so I can get caught with everyone and everything. I just got my dear af yesterday. Right after I lost the baby I started right into my cycle... (11-4-12 is when I lost the baby) and I am a 30 day cycle.... My hcg levels are all back to normal according to my lab work I had done last month.... :hug: to all and can't wait til I have a little more time and energy to get caught up on this site :)


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## vegasbaby

Meli: Just reading over everything and that is awesome that everyone could figure out your chart. Also, love you new profile photo. 

Stef: Hooray on getting your kitty back! 

Angel: I still read the original June thread, but think I need to stop. I'm happy for them, but it is a tough reminder of what should/could have been. I also found a thread on here with people who have had molar pregnancies like I have. I enjoy that thread since many are pregnant again or have given birth since their mc. Gives me hope. We all need a little bit of that. 

Sorry if I've missed anyone. Looks like it has been busy on here over the last 24 hours. Have a great weekend.


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## StefNJunk

I stopped going to the original June thread because it was too much for me. I'm happy for them and really wanted to keep visiting and seeing how everyone was doing, but it hurt too much. I mostly stay here too.


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## angel2010

I stopped going to the June baby thread the day I found out I lost the baby. I went back once to see if Phantom put an angel by my name. I don't know why I needed to see, it made it more real for me. Glutton for punishment I guess.


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## sweetmommaof2

I let them know I lost the baby and she didn't change it... Also she had my due date wrong :(


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## jem77

My baby has joined the June Baby Angles. I was due June 6th, and M/C at 14 weeks. I'm devastated and angry! No one should have to go through what we have.


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## vegasbaby

Jem: I am so sorry for your loss. I think we would all agree that no one should have to go through this. Feel free to say whatever you need to say here. We all understand. I understand the anger too. You are told that you are "safe" after you see the heartbeat or "safe" after the end of your first trimester. I suppose we now know all too well that this is simply not true. Big hugs to you.


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## StefNJunk

Would be 13 weeks today, and bleeding is back. Had two days of time to start moving on. Grr.


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## jenkb123

[/QUOTE]I'm sorry to hear that Jen, especially as you were using clomid to help you. Is this your first baby you're trying for? You never know you may end up with twins one day! I have heard of people having multiples with clomid after losing one! [/QUOTE]

Thanks Jasmine! We are trying for our first baby. Twins would be great...I would be happy with one though!!

Steph I am so glad to hear your cat came home!! I am sorry that the bleeding came back again!! 

Jem77 - I am so sorry for your loss. I have found the people on this thread to be very helpful and very caring. I hope you can find some comfort here too! 

So they got back to me about my missing post. The post got approved yesterday and it was put in the spot it would have been in if it hadn't needed approval and it it had posted right away on the day I had originally posted it. So it posted at Dec 5 on page 17 of the thread. I thought it would show up on the day it was approved. I probably wouldn't have gone back to Dec 5 to find it. I'm glad I asked in a help thread. Thanks for the advice about that ladies!!


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## angel2010

jem77 said:


> My baby has joined the June Baby Angles. I was due June 6th, and M/C at 14 weeks. I'm devastated and angry! No one should have to go through what we have.

I am so sorry.:hugs: I too was due on June 6th, but lost mine at 9+6 (baby was 8+3). We are all here for you and understand the feelings you are having.


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## angel2010

I am glad you got it figured out Jenk.


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## Middysquidge

Jem77, I'm so so sorry for your loss. I hate to see new people joining this thread, we're all here for you though. 

My eldest had her third birthday party today, it was wonderful, we had family up too which was nice but one of my friend's who came is pregnant and my sister had her newborn baby with her, it was hard but I dealt with it better than I thought! We managed to get a quick bd in on Friday before the guests arrived but I have no idea if or when I'm ovulating, I don't think that will be enough to seal the deal but it was fun all the same! Couldn't chart these last two days as was drinking in the evenings and sleeping on the sofa! Will get back on it again tomorrow!

Hope all the lovely ladies here are doing as well as can be.

x


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## angel2010

Jasmine, I am glad the birthday party was so lovely!

Afm, yesterday we ran into one of dh's old work associates. I guess he told her we were pregnant, but doesn't see her often. Well we saw her at Walmart and she was all bubbly saying "CONGRATS!!!!". My heart sunk and I just said "thanks" and was going to let it go. But she had to keep going and ask about the due date. I was silent a moment, hoping my husband would answer for me (since it was his friend), but he just left me hanging to answer. :nope:


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## StefNJunk

Jem, so sorry you have to be here :(

Jenk, read your story, I'm sorry you had to go through so much all at once!

Angel, it's hard when people don't know what happened, we haven't gotten that yet this time but we've pretty much avoided most people who don't know. Last time we got a lot of the congrats after, including some when we were at a wedding a few days after. We didn't end up staying long because he almost had a panic attack and I developed a migraine. It sucked!


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## jenkb123

Angel - I have had a few of those awkward "congrats" situations too. It really is uncomfortable. Especially since the person who says it typically feels so bad once they find out. Which always makes me feel bad since they had no idea they were saying something that was upsetting!! 

Stef - Thanks for reading my story. Just typing it out did make me feel better. It is good to talk about things!! 

Jasmine - I am glad to hear that the birthday party went well! Hope you are doing well as can be too!!


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## jem77

Thanks ladies! Makes me feel better to have a place to go to vent, but sad that we're all here for the same reason. I have my follow up appt with the Dr on Thurs and I'm not looking forward to that emotional meeting. I'm taking off work until at least then. Everyone at work knew I was preg as I announced it at 12 weeks. 2 good friends at work are preg too, it's gonna suck to go back. Not sure how to prepare for it....


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## angel2010

Jenk, I just read your story.:hugs: It is not fair is it. I am very sorry you lost your baby. I hope that you get pregnant right away with a nice sticky bean!


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## jenkb123

Thank you Angel!! 

AF arrived today (my first one since the m/c) so I am excited to be able to start the ttc process again!! Never thought I would be so happy to get af!! If I count the first day of bleeding from my m/c as cd1 I would be cd32 today. I thought for sure it would take a lot longer for af to come back as I used to have pretty long cycles before my m/c. 

My ttc process will be a bit different than most of the other ones I've read about. I will start clomid on cd5 and then go for follicle tracking to see if I will need another HCG shot to trigger ovulation. I needed one last time. I am excited to try again and hopeful that now that we have found a process that worked that I will be pregnant again soon!! 

Hope everyone else is doing well!!


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## Middysquidge

Jenk I read your story today too :hugs: I'm pleased you got your AF today too, that's not bad going is it a 32 day cycle for your first one! Have everything crossed for you hun, well not my legs actually as I'm ttc myself :haha:

I got my first definite positive OPK this afternoon after several faint ones so I'm pretty excited too! I got a negative this morning so I caught the beginning of my surge at 3pm. Have put my bd order in with OH! I've said we need to dtd today and tomorrow. Do you think that will be enough, we also did it Friday night and last night! 

Hope everyone is okay x


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## jenkb123

That is exciting Jasmine. It sounds like you are doing all you can to catch that egg!! I hope we both get our bfp's this month!! Good luck!!


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## vegasbaby

Jasmine: Good luck with the bd'ing. I think that will be plenty. Hope you catch the eggy, but if not, just know it wasn't the right time and keep on trying until you catch it. Took me almost a year to catch this last one, but only one month with my dd so you never know. 

Jenk: I read you original post too. Again, I am so sorry, but I am hopeful that things will work out in the future. 

Jem: I hope your appointment goes well and that you will have found some inner peace by the time you return to work. It is very hard to see others progressing with their pregnancies when you are not, but there seems to be no avoiding the pregnant gals. 

Sweetmomma: I see you set the June mommy thread straight. I'm glad you did. Everyone needs to be accounted for. 

My weekend was fairly uneventful. I started bleeding again, but it is really old blood (gross). Ready for that to stop. We hung out with a friend of ours and their almost four month old. It didn't even make me all that sad. I feel like I am slowly feeling better. I didn't even cry yesterday. For me, that is progress.


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## angel2010

jenkb123 said:


> Thank you Angel!!
> 
> AF arrived today (my first one since the m/c) so I am excited to be able to start the ttc process again!! Never thought I would be so happy to get af!! If I count the first day of bleeding from my m/c as cd1 I would be cd32 today. I thought for sure it would take a lot longer for af to come back as I used to have pretty long cycles before my m/c.
> 
> My ttc process will be a bit different than most of the other ones I've read about. I will start clomid on cd5 and then go for follicle tracking to see if I will need another HCG shot to trigger ovulation. I needed one last time. I am excited to try again and hopeful that now that we have found a process that worked that I will be pregnant again soon!!
> 
> Hope everyone else is doing well!!

I think my cycle may return sooner than I thought. I believe I ovulated on the 28th of Nov, so I am expecting af in the next couple of days. We will see though. I have to wait for my thyroid levels to go down before I can ttc again. I am okay with waiting though. I want to loose a few pounds and I really want to avoid a September baby. We already have 4 birthdays that month.


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## angel2010

Catch that eggy Jasmine!!!! Good luck!


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## angel2010

vegasbaby said:


> Jasmine: Good luck with the bd'ing. I think that will be plenty. Hope you catch the eggy, but if not, just know it wasn't the right time and keep on trying until you catch it. Took me almost a year to catch this last one, but only one month with my dd so you never know.
> 
> Jenk: I read you original post too. Again, I am so sorry, but I am hopeful that things will work out in the future.
> 
> Jem: I hope your appointment goes well and that you will have found some inner peace by the time you return to work. It is very hard to see others progressing with their pregnancies when you are not, but there seems to be no avoiding the pregnant gals.
> 
> Sweetmomma: I see you set the June mommy thread straight. I'm glad you did. Everyone needs to be accounted for.
> 
> My weekend was fairly uneventful. I started bleeding again, but it is really old blood (gross). Ready for that to stop. We hung out with a friend of ours and their almost four month old. It didn't even make me all that sad. I feel like I am slowly feeling better. I didn't even cry yesterday. For me, that is progress.

I am happy to hear you are starting to feel better. I don't hardly ever cry anymore, but I feel stuck in the anger phase.


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## jenkb123

Thanks Vegas! I am so glad to hear you are feeling a little better!! 

Angel - Hope af comes soon for you. Even if you are waiting for a bit it is always good to feel like things are getting back to normal again. 

Jem - I also hope that your appointment goes well! This is a great place to vent. The people here really understand what you are going through.


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## jem77

All you ladies seem so strong. I am so afraid of going into depression, but I can't. I need to be healthy for my LO. She is 9 months and has been great medicine, but I find myself crying allthe time. 
A short version of my story.....last Monday night I started feeling cramps. After looking online, I read cramping at 14 weeks is normal as growing pains. A few hours later I started bleeding. We went to the ER and the did an ultrasound and bloodwork. Both came back with good results (baby's heartbeat was a strong 165). So they sent us home. As the night went on, the cramping got worse, but bleeding stopped. Around 4am I woke DH up to go back to ER, I was in so much pain. As we were getting ready I went into the bathroom. As I sat, my water broke and I started gushing blood. Next the baby came. I got on the floor in case I passed out. DH called 911 and as we waited I feared I was gonna die on the floor from blood loss. The pain was worse than when I had DD. (I also saw my baby laying on the floor next to me. An image burned in my head I can't get out). At the hosp, they noticed I had a fever. I had to stay for a few days to get the fever under control. Turners out I had a bladder infection (I had no clue about), and this caused the miscarriage. Pathology said my baby was healthy. 
I am so angry! I wish the ER Dr, the first time we were in, found the fever and infection. It is eating at me wondering if this could have been prevented.
As scared as I am to move on, I am also ready to be preg again. I have a hole in my heart, I want to fill it.
Sorry for the long rant, I need to get this out and I feel I can only talk to DH.


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## vegasbaby

Jem: I am so sorry. Did they take your temperature at the ER when you first went in? Seems to be pretty standard procedure, but your temperature may have still been normal at that point. I wish you could go back in time and prevent this (wish I could too). I understand wanting to be pregnant again. I do know that at each ob appointment they do take a urine sample to check for uti's. I actually asked the nurse at my last appointment and that is what she said. She said uti's are quite common, but pregnant women have a harder time recognizing the symptoms. You did everything you could have done to prevent this, but sometimes awful things happen despite your best efforts. Please feel free to express your feelings here as we are here to help. You have been through a traumatic loss and it will take a lot of time to work through that loss. Big hugs to you :hugs:. 

For all you ladies ready to try again I have good news; according to the news, today is the most fertile day of the year. Babies conceived today will be due on September 16 which is the most popular birthday in the US and UK. So if you are trying, then you better get to it today :sex:.


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## Phantom710

So sad to see you all over here since we all started in the June Babies thread :( 

My case is slightly different since it wasn't MY baby that I lost, but :S

How are you all :flower:


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## StefNJunk

Oh wow jem, huge hugs to you, I'm SO sorry you had to go through that :hugs:
As for being strong, it doesn't mean you can't cry. If you need to cry, do it. It's not strength to hold it in, it's strong to show your emotions and deal with them as they come, and it sounds like that is what you're doing. So I'd say you're pretty strong, too.

Still bleeding over here... came back on Sunday. Wondering if my lady bits will ever be in order again. :wacko:


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## jenkb123

Jem - I am so so sorry you had to go through that!! I would be angry too!! I know how hard it is not to go through the what-if's. I believe we just have to trust that things happen for a reason (even though we can't always understand what that reason could possibly be). There is no way you could have known. You did everything you could! I think seeming strong is often an illusion!! I don't feel strong on the inside a lot of the time. I think that strong people have a lot of weak moments and insecurities that other people don't always see. You are obviously very strong to have gotten through the situation that you did. I read your story and I think to myself I don't know if I could have gotten through that. The fact that you are here and talking about it, that you recognize you need to be healthy for your little one, that you recognize the potential for depression and want to avoid it, all of those things show how strong you really are!! I think crying is healthy....you are working through your grief. That is an important step!! :hugs:

Vegas - I didn't know today was the most fertile day of the year. Since this is only cd2 for me I will have to hope that a less fertile day will still work for me!! lol

Phantom - Even if you weren't the one carrying the baby it was still your baby that was lost. I am very sorry for your loss!! 

Stef - I am sorry to hear you are still bleeding!! Things will get back to normal, I'm sure of it!! Its just frustrating to have to wait for that to happen!!


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## Middysquidge

I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through Jem, so sorry that the baby was healthy and it all could have been prevented, I would be angry and down too but I bet you are stronger than you think, it doesn't stop it hurting though x

Oooh, that is interesting Vegas, especially since I'm ovulating today! hehe x


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## jenkb123

Jasmine - I think that is a very good sign!! I foresee a Sept 16 due date in your future!! :) Good luck and happy bd'ing!!


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## vegasbaby

OMG I just got a call from a man who spoke very poor English and wanted to know if I wanted to take some sort of class. When I asked him to please repeat himself he asked if I wanted to take a Lamaze class. I realized this same man called the morning of my d&c, but I told him I wasn't home (mentally I wasn't). Anyway I had to tell him that I had lost the baby and he went on to say these things happen and how am I mentally. I told him fine since he is a complete stranger. I think I am going to call my OB and see who is giving out my information. I didn't register anywhere so I have no idea. 

Phantom: Nice to see you, even if it is on our sad little thread. I think a loss is a loss no matter the circumstances. When I read that you lost the baby I thought not only of you, but also the couple you were carrying for and I felt so awful for you all. Are you going to try again? If so, when? 

Jenk: Don't worry you will still have plenty of opportunities. They said the reason they thought this was such a fertile day is that between the holidays putting couples in a "festive" mood and temperatures being lower (which I guess supports better sperm) you have a better chance for conception. Since you live in Canada where the temps stay pretty cool you don't have to worry about any particular date.


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## jenkb123

Phantom - I am sorry I misunderstood your situation. I wasnt on the other June pregnancy thread so I hadn't actually heard your story. Ignore my other post!! I think it is amazing that you were carrying a baby for another couple. You are a very special person to do this and I am very sorry for the loss for both you and the couple whose baby you were carrying!! 

Vegas - You are right!! It can be quite cold in Canada during the winter....especially in Saskatchewan. I'm glad to hear that this can be helpful with ttc. There needs to be some positive benefits to the cold weather!! 

That is disturbing that a strange man is calling you about pregnancy related things. I would definitely call the OB and find out if they are giving out personal info. They should not be giving out info!!


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## Phantom710

We will be trying again in January. I'm hoping to receive my calender today for when I start IVF meds again. I'm currently on bcp as I have had NO cycle since the loss. 

jen- np :) I can see where you could get confused. 

As for me, PERSONALLY, it would have been easier if it was just a normal blighted ovum as originally diagnosed. 

But we've found that wasn't quite the case.

My Betas doubled correctly and then stopped doubling but were still rising. They told me it was a chemical and to stop meds. So I did. Because they knew what they were talking about, right?

Then, 8 days later (and no blood loss) I have an U/S, it was completely conclusive but what it LOOKS like happened was that both embies took, one stopped shortly before the sac formed which caused the non-doubling hcg. I had an empty sac measuring exactly spot on to when I stopped meds. So :S It looks like if I would have kept on with the meds I'd have a twinless twin still happily inside of me.

Next time I think I'll just wait for U/S before stopping meds.


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## angel2010

Oh Jem, I am so sorry you lost your baby. Your story is heartbreaking. Give yourself time. It hasn't been that long. After only a week I was still crying everyday too. It is okay to be sad and angry. We are all here for you and all understand how you are feeling. :hugs:

Vegas, I am sorry you got a reminder today. It really sucks. I would call the hospital as well. We actually want to avoid a September baby because we have too many birthdays then already. Hoping I get af tomorrow or the next day so it is irrelevant for me anyway. 

I had a slight temp drop today, hope to see a bigger one tomorrow. Ready to get back to normal.


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## Megan1986

Af has come and is almost over. Ready to start trying again. Scared but ready to move forward.


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## angel2010

Jem, I just wanted to let you know that we all have bad days still. I just posted earlier that I don't cry really anymore. I felt okay when I wrote that, but as the day progressed I felt worse. I have cried today for the first time in over a week. Two days ago was one month since the loss.


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## jem77

angel2010 said:


> Jem, I just wanted to let you know that we all have bad days still. I just posted earlier that I don't cry really anymore. I felt okay when I wrote that, but as the day progressed I felt worse. I have cried today for the first time in over a week. Two days ago was one month since the loss.

I'm sorry you are still having "sad" moments. I don't think the pain will ever go away...maybe lessen, but bot go. 
I am starting to feel lie a prisoner in my own body. I'm sick of being in the house, but I can't compose myself to go out. When I try to go shopping, I just feel like a zombie. I dread going back to work. I have an appt with my Dr tomorrow and I'm sure she'll say to go to work Fri. I'm anxious about the appt too. Not sure hat to expect, but I am sick of being poked and prodded. I don't want an exam or bloodwork. Any ideas what will go on at this appt?


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## angel2010

Jem, I just had my follow up visit last Thursday. It was three weeks from the miscarriage and all we did was talk. They didn't take any blood, I didn't have to pee in anything and he didn't poke anywhere.


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## Meli_H

Hi Ladies,

Sorry Ive been out of the loop the last few days!! Will try to catch up below:

*Jasmine,*

SO glad to hear that you went ahead and decided TTC after all! What vegas posted about the most fertile day of the year when you were Oin--thats another positive sign that you will be catching the egg!

*Vegas,*

Its great to hear that you got through the weekend without crying, especially with a four month old around. I dont think I can do that yetand I would also be irritated if I got a phone call from a random person about your pregnancy. I got a phone call from my dr's office 5 days after my mc, asking why I had missed my 11 week appt? I said, I had a mc last week--don't you guys read the patient files? She sounded flustered and put me on hold, I waited a couple of minutes then hung up. Later on, I felt bad for her...

*Stef,*

Sorry to hear that you are still bleeding! I know what you meanits annoying isnt it. I feel like the sooner the physical symptoms go away, the sooner I can heal emotionally.

I am going to an acupuncturist today for my first appointment. Im hoping she can help me!


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## angel2010

I don't understand, how is it that the more time that passes, the madder I get that my sil is still pregnant and I am not. I have been having a really rough couple of days with this.:cry:


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## vegasbaby

Angel: I completely understand. My SIL is pregnant too and I have to go see her at Christmas and I know it will be hard. I feel like she already has three kids and all wanted was one more. She has been nothing but supportive, but it hurts seeing that our family will be growing, but I won't be making the contribution I thought I would. 

Phantom: I didn't realize that both embryos had taken. Taking the meds may not have made a difference, but hopefully this next time will work out perfectly. I was watching that Guiliana and Bill show yesterday where there son was born via surrogate and you just knew that their surrogate had given them the most wonderful gift ever. I think what you are doing is so great and I hope that everything works for you in January. 

Meli: Let us know how the acupuncture appointment goes. I want to know if it makes you feel any different after or if they suggest you take and herbs or whatever advice she has to offer. 

I go in for my second blood test today. Hoping I get a nice drop this week.  I found out that the call I got was from the Healthy Start program here. My doctor's office made me fill out some questionnaire and this is how they got my info. The nurse at my doctor's office happened to call me about an hour after the HS people called and I asked her why couldn't they update the information to let them know when a baby was lost. She said they didn't have their number and besides the program was voluntary. No one told me it was voluntary. If I ever get pregnant again I will not fill out the stupid form. Also, I really hate the one nurse who called. She wanted to know why as of Tuesday I hadn't been in for my weekly draw. I told her it hadn't been a week since I went in last Wednesday and I have a scheduled appointment for today. She then went on to tell me not to expect too much of a drop this week. Gee, thanks for crushing my hopes early. Thankfully, she is not the nurse I will be seeing. BTW, this is the same woman who told me that temping can in no way tell you when you have ovulated. That never stopped me and today my temp finally dropped to below pregnancy levels. Hoping things are getting back to normal (whatever that is). Sorry for the long post. Hope y'all have a great day.


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## angel2010

Vegas, I am sorry you had to deal with that insensitive nurse. I hope you have a BIG drop!!

Meli, welcome back!

AFM, my temp dropped a bit two days ago. Yesterday it stayed the same. I have also been cramping since the temp drop. I have been expecting my period to start any minute. Today, my temp went back up a little, but I finally started. I thought I would be relieved, but I am not. I am not sure how I feel really. I guess it just goes to show how much your body can be out of whack after a miscarriage. My period has started 34 days from the day I passed the baby. My normal period temps are 96.6-ish today I was at 98.1, so a pretty big difference.


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## jem77

I had an appt with my Dr this morning. She doesn't want us to even think about trying again until March. Se wants us to have a meeting with her and the specialist in March to come up with a game plan on how to go on with another pregnancy. I feel gutted. I wanted to be able to try sooner. I will be 36 in March and it scares me to wait. We got preg quickly with DD and also with the one we lost. Not sure why we need a meeting with a specialist. I just want my life back!


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## StefNJunk

angel, I know that feeling. It seems impossible to avoid it, too.

vegas, also hoping for a big drop for you!

jem, be sure to let us know what your doctor says today, I'm sure that it's just that she wants to be extra cautious.

How long did you all bleed for? It's been 16 days since I started bleeding, 2 day break last weekend, 12 days since I passed the baby, about 5 1/2 weeks since the baby died. Still passing a small clot here and there, but it's mostly pinkish discharge type stuff, which is exactly how it started. Last time I only bleed for 4-5 days. It seems like this time is lasting forever...


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## vegasbaby

Angel: I'm glad AF showed up for you. It shows your body is going back to normal (even if your temps are a bit out of whack). 

Jem: If I were you I'd make another appointment to see why your doctor wants you to wait and also why you need to consult with a specialist. March seems like a long time to wait if you don't have to. I'm supposed to wait until six months from when my hcg levels reach zero, but there is an actual medical reason for this (even though I don't plan on waiting six). Again, I'd ask, do a little research and then do what you feel comfortable with. I'm pretty sure my doctor will be peeved if I get pregnant before the six months are up, but if she gives me grief then I will find another doctor and so can you.

Stef: I stopped bleeding about four days after the surgery and then started up again last week at eight days past my d&c. For me it is old brown blood that is sort of grainy (sorry if that's tmi). It is enough for a panty liner, but really only shows up when I wipe. My doctor warned me that I could shed some stuff from the new scar tissue and I guess that is what it is. Just what I need since already having had a c-section, more scar tissue to make my womb even more inhospitable. Anyway it appears to be tapering off, but until I get a real period I doubt this will be over. So annoying. I think the longer the pregnancy lasts the more you bleed. I bled for a good six weeks straight after I had my dd. These are the things no one tells you. Some days I really wish I had been born a man, they have it sooooo easy.


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## Meli_H

*Vegas,*

I had my first acupuncture appt yesterday, but I dont think I will be going back. PS-I didnt feel the needles in my tummy, but did feel the ones in my legs, just a little stingy/slight electrical shock type of sensation that stayed around during the treatment).

I explained that I was 10 wks pregnant when I m/c 11/1/12, bled heavily the first 17 days or so, then it tapered down to spotting, until 12/1/12, when I am pretty sure that af arrived. I mentioned that the last 4 days have been very very tiny light spotting. She said that all the bleeding/spotting was not normal and that I should not have been bleeding so long (which is weird, because my dr. said that every woman is different-some bleed for few days, others for a few weeks). She was horrified when I told her that I wanted to TTC as soon as I O, and that I had been dtd. She told me to hold off on trying to get pregnant for at least 3 months (and see her for treatment) while my body heals. She said that her treatments require visits twice a week (at $75 per visit) plus $45 a week for the herb pills (2 types of herbs, 8 each taken 3 times a day-total of 48 pills per day). Thats a total of $195 per week. Its way more than what I had expected to pay, and its out of my budget, especially during this time of the year! Not to mention that the hours shes open only allow me to make one visit a week without taking time off of work (and Ive already taken off so much sick and vacation time with all my dr appts during my pregnancy and as a result of the mc). Oh, this is probably insignificant, but most other ladies who have wrote of their acupuncture experiences have shared that part of their treatment included a massage at the end of treatment to help them relax. My treatment doesnt include massage, so that was the last straw, I said, to h*ll with that LOL! j/k (well, not really).

Im on CD13 (I think) and so far, no O. Trying not to get worried, because although my normal average cycle is 25 days, I think af came 31 days after my mc, so that would mean that hopefully I will O soon-maybe in the next couple of days (I hope!). I plan to start TTC as soon as O arrives, and if I catch the egg, then it was meant to be. Because I truly believe that if my body isnt ready, it wont happen, right? 

It sounds like your body is starting to get back to normal now that you see that your temp has dropped to before pregnancy levels! :happydance: I dont understand why people have to be so negative. I can (and do) generate my own negative thoughts, I certainly dont need anybody else, especially a professional, contribute their own, thank you very much :growlmad: Let us know how todays appt went!

*Angel*

You sound like meaf started 31 days after my mc. Hopefully we both get back on our regular cycles soon!

*Stef*

I bled for 42 days--30 days after mc, then af for the subsequent 10 days..hoping you stop bleeding soon. 

*Jem,*

Wowcant believe what youve gone through. In addition to all the feelings we experience when we mc, to know that possibly something was overlooked, and that your mc could possibly been avoided, I have no words..so sorry XOXO
Sorry to hear that your dr wants you to wait for at least 4 months from now :growlmad:


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## vegasbaby

Meli: Wow! That is a lot of pills, a lot of time, and waaaay to much money. I have a feeling they all would recommend a similar amount of treatment and since insurance doesn't cover it I guess I won't try it. Thanks for the info!


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## Meli_H

vegasbaby said:


> Meli: Wow! That is a lot of pills, a lot of time, and waaaay to much money. I have a feeling they all would recommend a similar amount of treatment and since insurance doesn't cover it I guess I won't try it. Thanks for the info!

IKR! I guess this is one of the reasons PPO's are better (but they're so much more expensive, which is I have always had HMO's)


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## angel2010

Holy cow Meli!!! That is a ton of money. Maybe they say wait longer to get you to pay more.... I wouldn't be going back either!


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## Meli_H

Angel,
That thought definitely crossed my mind....so back to 'let's see what happens'.


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## vegasbaby

Some non-baby news here if you don't mind me sharing. I got offered a job today. I've been out of work since I was five months pregnant with Charlotte (so over three years) and I'm just shocked that I am going back to work. Part of me feels really guilty since I lost my job while I was pregnant and I blamed them letting me go on the fact I was pregnant (I had to travel overseas for my job and was told by my doc no traveling after 23 weeks. I was let go at 24 weeks). So I applied for this job back in early November when I was only seven weeks pregnant and really expected to hear nothing. When they called last week about an interview I was super surprised. Now all I can think about is the fact that I lost this baby, but have now gained a job. Opposite of last time. I feel guilty for having these thoughts as I feel like it is my fault that the baby died because the bigger plan was for me to get a job, when all I really wanted was another baby. Well, I'm sure that is not the case and I am happy that I will be able to work again and contribute financially to the family (we could use it atm). It is just strange how the universe works sometimes. Again, sorry for going on and on.


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## Meli_H

vegasbaby said:


> Some non-baby news here if you don't mind me sharing. I got offered a job today. I've been out of work since I was five months pregnant with Charlotte (so over three years) and I'm just shocked that I am going back to work. Part of me feels really guilty since I lost my job while I was pregnant and I blamed them letting me go on the fact I was pregnant (I had to travel overseas for my job and was told by my doc no traveling after 23 weeks. I was let go at 24 weeks). So I applied for this job back in early November when I was only seven weeks pregnant and really expected to hear nothing. When they called last week about an interview I was super surprised. Now all I can think about is the fact that I lost this baby, but have now gained a job. Opposite of last time. I feel guilty for having these thoughts as I feel like it is my fault that the baby died because the bigger plan was for me to get a job, when all I really wanted was another baby. Well, I'm sure that is not the case and I am happy that I will be able to work again and contribute financially to the family (we could use it atm). It is just strange how the universe works sometimes. Again, sorry for going on and on.

vegas,

The universe does work in strange ways, doesnt it? I dont know about your situation, but if I was not working (and not of my choice), quite possibly I would be stressed out. Contributing financially would make life less stressful, and less stress is more conducive to baby making (when you are ready to TTC). I truly hope that this job is a good fit for you, and will keep you busy until you decide to TTC. I know that I welcome any distraction I can get these days!


----------



## jem77

vegasbaby said:


> Some non-baby news here if you don't mind me sharing. I got offered a job today. I've been out of work since I was five months pregnant with Charlotte (so over three years) and I'm just shocked that I am going back to work. Part of me feels really guilty since I lost my job while I was pregnant and I blamed them letting me go on the fact I was pregnant (I had to travel overseas for my job and was told by my doc no traveling after 23 weeks. I was let go at 24 weeks). So I applied for this job back in early November when I was only seven weeks pregnant and really expected to hear nothing. When they called last week about an interview I was super surprised. Now all I can think about is the fact that I lost this baby, but have now gained a job. Opposite of last time. I feel guilty for having these thoughts as I feel like it is my fault that the baby died because the bigger plan was for me to get a job, when all I really wanted was another baby. Well, I'm sure that is not the case and I am happy that I will be able to work again and contribute financially to the family (we could use it atm). It is just strange how the universe works sometimes. Again, sorry for going on and on.

Congratulations! That is awesome news! :happydance:

It's nice to hear positive things! Good luck with your new adventure!


----------



## StefNJunk

Congrats vegas! I also have non-baby news. We found an amazing house today, fell in love with it and put a bid on it. Now to wait and hope they accept and no one else outbids us. This house is just about perfect!


----------



## Meli_H

Stef,
thats awesome news! Sounds like things are starting to fall in place for both u and vegas!!


----------



## jenkb123

Vegas - Congrats on the new job!! Starting a new job will be something exciting to look forward to. Enjoy it!! 

Steph - That is so exciting you found a great house!! I hope it works out for you!! 

Its almost the start of a new year.....I have a feeling 2013 is going to be a fresh start and a great year (with lots of baby dust) for all of us!!


----------



## Middysquidge

Congratulations to you Stef and Vegas! That is really great news for both of you! It's funny how 'life' is still happening all around us when we are all so consumed by what happened with our babies and ttc! Vegas it might be good to take your mind off stuff for a bit while you have to wait for your body to get back to normal!

Afm, we're ttc straight away but think we missed the boat this month! Ended up giving dh a rest one night with plans to bd last night but I got really drunk at my xmas party and fell asleep instead of bd! Ooops! We did bd three days beofre day of 'o' though but I can't be sure yet that was my definite o day, especially since my temp was way off this morning at 99! At least I sort of know when to expect af now and although we can't try in January, we can deffo try in Feb!

Hope everyone is doing okay x x x


----------



## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> Congratulations to you Stef and Vegas! That is really great news for both of you! It's funny how 'life' is still happening all around us when we are all so consumed by what happened with our babies and ttc! Vegas it might be good to take your mind off stuff for a bit while you have to wait for your body to get back to normal!
> 
> Afm, we're ttc straight away but think we missed the boat this month! Ended up giving dh a rest one night with plans to bd last night but I got really drunk at my xmas party and fell asleep instead of bd! Ooops! We did bd three days beofre day of 'o' though but I can't be sure yet that was my definite o day, especially since my temp was way off this morning at 99! At least I sort of know when to expect af now and although we can't try in January, we can deffo try in Feb!
> 
> Hope everyone is doing okay x x x

Hey *Jasmine,*

FX that you DID catch the egg!!

*This is silly*....but...just had to say that* I LOVE *reading your entries.I can just hear you talking when I read your entries (and of all your fellow Brits who post on this site).

I love British accents. There used to be an older lady, whom I worked with, who was from London and she was so cute! Always called me 'luv'. 
Jut had to say it :haha:

To all the ladies, have a great weekend :happydance:


----------



## Middysquidge

Meli_H said:


> Jasmineivy said:
> 
> 
> Congratulations to you Stef and Vegas! That is really great news for both of you! It's funny how 'life' is still happening all around us when we are all so consumed by what happened with our babies and ttc! Vegas it might be good to take your mind off stuff for a bit while you have to wait for your body to get back to normal!
> 
> Afm, we're ttc straight away but think we missed the boat this month! Ended up giving dh a rest one night with plans to bd last night but I got really drunk at my xmas party and fell asleep instead of bd! Ooops! We did bd three days beofre day of 'o' though but I can't be sure yet that was my definite o day, especially since my temp was way off this morning at 99! At least I sort of know when to expect af now and although we can't try in January, we can deffo try in Feb!
> 
> Hope everyone is doing okay x x x
> 
> Hey *Jasmine,*
> 
> FX that you DID catch the egg!!
> 
> *This is silly*....but...just had to say that* I LOVE *reading your entries.I can just hear you talking when I read your entries (and of all your fellow Brits who post on this site).
> 
> I love British accents. There used to be an older lady, whom I worked with, who was from London and she was so cute! Always called me 'luv'.
> Jut had to say it :haha:
> 
> To all the ladies, have a great weekend :happydance:Click to expand...

Thanks Meli, oh that's funny, I'm a total waffler I know! Everyone I know uses the pet name hun and sometimes pet or duck as we're in Yorkshire! Do people call each other pet names in California? x


----------



## vegasbaby

Stef: Hooray on finding a house you love. When do you think you'll hear something? 

Jasmine: I had to laugh at your post, but remember those swimmers can last a few days so you should be fine.


----------



## Middysquidge

Fingers crossed eh, the little guys would have had trouble reaching my egg if the egg were as drunk as me! It would have been falling all over the place! x


----------



## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> Meli_H said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jasmineivy said:
> 
> 
> Congratulations to you Stef and Vegas! That is really great news for both of you! It's funny how 'life' is still happening all around us when we are all so consumed by what happened with our babies and ttc! Vegas it might be good to take your mind off stuff for a bit while you have to wait for your body to get back to normal!
> 
> Afm, we're ttc straight away but think we missed the boat this month! Ended up giving dh a rest one night with plans to bd last night but I got really drunk at my xmas party and fell asleep instead of bd! Ooops! We did bd three days beofre day of 'o' though but I can't be sure yet that was my definite o day, especially since my temp was way off this morning at 99! At least I sort of know when to expect af now and although we can't try in January, we can deffo try in Feb!
> 
> Hope everyone is doing okay x x x
> 
> Hey *Jasmine,*
> 
> FX that you DID catch the egg!!
> 
> *This is silly*....but...just had to say that* I LOVE *reading your entries.I can just hear you talking when I read your entries (and of all your fellow Brits who post on this site).
> 
> I love British accents. There used to be an older lady, whom I worked with, who was from London and she was so cute! Always called me 'luv'.
> Jut had to say it :haha:
> 
> To all the ladies, have a great weekend :happydance:Click to expand...
> 
> Thanks Meli, oh that's funny, I'm a total waffler I know! Everyone I know uses the pet name hun and sometimes pet or duck as we're in Yorkshire! Do people call each other pet names in California? xClick to expand...

Jasmine,
No, here in California, people don't really use pet names. I use them for my stepson (call him cutie) and I call him babe or sweetie (or other things if they get me mad, but I dont think those would be considered 'pet names' lol)


----------



## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> Fingers crossed eh, the little guys would have had trouble reaching my egg if the egg were as drunk as me! It would have been falling all over the place! x

Jasmine,
too funny!! i can picture you stumbling around. I've been there before, and paid for it the next day while hungover! I hope you didn't get hungover...


----------



## Meli_H

Meli_H said:


> *Vegas & Jen,*
> 
> I havent been in the mood either. This is probably the longest weve ever gone without dtd, and Id better get back into the groove *quick*, before he starts getting resentful (Im kind of feeling those vibes lol). I dont want to get too excited, but I think that I was right about af. I suspected that af came dec 1, because I changed from mid to light spotting, to an actual blood flow. Its been consistent since then, and it seems to be winding down (this morning when I got up to get ready for work, I realized there was no blood flow since I went to bed) soooooooI think that means that af is at the tail end or has ended already. I started using OPKs this morning and Im hoping that Ill o in a week or so, but well see. Tell you what thoughif I do get the o, I will definitely force myself to get back in the mood LOL!
> 
> *MrsPhez,*
> 
> Sorry to hear of your mc, but good news that youre ovulating!! Yay!
> 
> *Stef,*
> 
> So glad to hear that you think the spotting is stopping! Will keep my fingers crossed that it DOES stop, and of course, that your kitty comes home!
> 
> *Jen,*
> 
> Sorry to hear of your losshope you find some solace here on these boards, as I have. These ladies are very wise!&#8195;

*Update:*

Today is cd15 (I think) and this morning, I finally confirmed o! :happydance: The opk says it will happen between 24-48 hours from this morning. We dtd last night, but I'm thinking of skipping dtd tonight, then doing it tomorrow (Sun) morning and then tomorrow (Sun) night, and then probably Monday morning...*but not sure if that's too many times and maybe it will dilute the quality of the sperm? Or should I add tonight to the mix? Anybody have any suggestions?* Its not a matter of getting dh in the mood (because he always is in the mood.argh) its more a matter of the quality and quantity of the sperm I am pretty sure that when I concieved in September, I got the positive O opk on cd12 (Thurs Sep 6), and it said that I would o 24-36 hours from then. I can't be 100% sure, because I never obsessively documented any of this babymaking business until after my mc, BUT I think that I remember that we did NOT bd on Fri Sep 7, because he was sick with a really bad cold, so I cut him a break. I do recall dtd on Sat Sep 8, not sure if we did bd in the morning, but I do recall for certain that we did bd for sure Sat night, because his fever was raging that night. I do remember when I got my bfp Sep 22, I recall thinking that it had to have been on sat sep 8 when I conceived....because I remember what a trooper he was..he had a horrendous fever and still came through for me LOL


----------



## angel2010

Good luck catching that egg Meli!! In my case dtd everyday worked. With our first bfp, we had sex 10 times in 13 days and with this last one, we had sex 13 times in 16 days. The first one I had just come off bc so had know idea when to do it and with last time, my cycles were kind of irregular so we just wanted all bases covered.


----------



## angel2010

Congrats Steph and Vegas! Great news to hear! Vegas, I agree with Jasmine, it will probably be good to get your mind off it.

Jenk, I think you are right, 2013 will be amazing. Assuming the world doesn't end on the 21st. Just kidding.:rofl:

Jasmine, you certainly could have caught that egg three days before o!


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## Middysquidge

Meli, I had a terrible hangover not good with a toddler to look after, hehe! I'm just so not used to drinking these days (I know it doesn't sound that way!)

Meli, YAAAAAYYYYY FOR O! I think you should bd as much as possible, before, during and just after o! If it doesn't work for a few months then you could try alternating it or the 'Sperm meets egg plan' but if he isn't known to have a low mobility sperm count then it should be fine! I wish my oh was always in the mood, he's such a pain, makes a right big deal out of it! It's me that's always up for it! hehe!

Angel that's some impressive bd right there! Haha! Cheers angel I really hope so but just wish I would have done it day of o and day after! I'm 4dpo now have been having some mild af style cramping since yesterday and am quite tired! Trying not to symptom spot but it's hard. AF is due boxing day x


----------



## vegasbaby

Jasmine: If drunken eggs couldn't produce babies then I wouldn't have my dd. Heck, half of the world wouldn't be here. 

Angel: Wow! My dh wishes, but honestly I don't think he could keep up.

Meli: With my dd we only bd one time (as I was out of town the week before and after and only home on the weekend). With this past one we bd at -3 and 0 according to fertility friend and my OPK. I was taking a month off. Ha! So I say do it as much as you want, but know that it only takes once.


----------



## Middysquidge

Hey Vegas, my oh is asking if you can recommend a few top 'not to miss' sites near the convention? I know we can google it but would be good to get a local's perspective? 

With my dd I wasn't charting but I bought some clearblue opks and just did it the few days I got the smiley face, oh and I used actual raw eggwhites too, haha! x x x


----------



## angel2010

I have to admit, several of those times were just "lets do this and get it over with". He was still able to "perform" under pressure and didn't mind it being a bit more like work a few times.


----------



## Middysquidge

Haha, yeah my OH is a bot of a pain but he never lts me down when I need him to, even if I have to do the lion share of the work! x x


----------



## Meli_H

vegasbaby said:


> Jasmine: If drunken eggs couldn't produce babies then I wouldn't have my dd. Heck, half of the world wouldn't be here.
> 
> Angel: Wow! My dh wishes, but honestly I don't think he could keep up.
> 
> Meli: With my dd we only bd one time (as I was out of town the week before and after and only home on the weekend). With this past one we bd at -3 and 0 according to fertility friend and my OPK. I was taking a month off. Ha! So I say do it as much as you want, but know that it only takes once.

Hey vegas,
hee hee you make a good point about drunken eggs LOL!


----------



## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> Hey Vegas, my oh is asking if you can recommend a few top 'not to miss' sites near the convention? I know we can google it but would be good to get a local's perspective?
> 
> With my dd I wasn't charting but I bought some clearblue opks and just did it the few days I got the smiley face, oh and I used actual raw eggwhites too, haha! x x x

hey jasmine,
curious: what do you mean about using actual raw eggwhites? what did you use them for?


----------



## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> Hey Vegas, my oh is asking if you can recommend a few top 'not to miss' sites near the convention? I know we can google it but would be good to get a local's perspective?
> 
> With my dd I wasn't charting but I bought some clearblue opks and just did it the few days I got the smiley face, oh and I used actual raw eggwhites too, haha! x x x

hey jasmine,
i know you didnt ask my opinion...BUT i hope you dont mind if I add my two cents. I loved the musical 'jersey boys' and would totally recommend it! Even my dh enjoyed it!


----------



## vegasbaby

Jasmine: I sent you a PM about Vegas as I didn't want to bore everyone. 

Meli: I'm jealous you got to see Jersey Boys. We had tickets at one point, but we gave away the tickets as my dh was having back issues and didn't think he could sit for that long (he did have surgery a month or two after so I guess he was right). Also, I think Jasmine uses the eggs for lube, but I want to hear her confirm this. 

Angel: Good to hear that your dh is such a trooper. My dh is usually game, but after a few days he starts to feel like he is being used. Well, yeah, but I don't see that as something to complain about. :haha:

Nothing new to report here. Spent the weekend a bit depressed by they news and then my going out and spending too much on last minute Christmas gifts. I wasn't the only one doing this as it was almost impossible to find parking wherever I went.


----------



## StefNJunk

vegasbaby said:


> Stef: Hooray on finding a house you love. When do you think you'll hear something?
> 
> Jasmine: I had to laugh at your post, but remember those swimmers can last a few days so you should be fine.

We heard news on Friday. First, the seller declined our offer, but made a counter offer. We declined and made a new counter offer, which they accepted!!! Inspections are tomorrow, and as long as everything is good there, we will close on the house on January 31st! I'm soooo excited.

This weekend was a little rough for me. Stopped at the bank where we got the loan for baby bills; the teller recognized me and asked how far along I am. When I told her I had lost it, she told me she's lost 12, so she knows what it's like. Poor woman!

Saturday I had to go in for a UTI test, apparently it's a bladder infection. Can't win with my body!

Sunday we ran into one of OH's old friends, he told him about the MCs. I hate the pity face people give when they find out! We also saw OH's family for the first time since it happened. Glad they didn't say anything, but still made me sad playing with his 10 month old niece. 

On the plus side (besides the house, of course!), bleeding stopped again Saturday night. It better not come back again! *crosses fingers*

And my OH is always in the mood, too! When he's not it's SUPER easy to get him in the mood. I love that :haha:


----------



## vegasbaby

Stef: Congrats on the house! That is great news. Gee, I feel really awful for the teller at your bank. Do you know if she has any children that made it or has it all been misfortune? I really hope she has a few kids. So sad. It is amazing just how many women have been through this, but no one talks about it. The secret club no one wants to belong to.


----------



## Meli_H

*vegas,*

IKR! Jersey boys rocked. I missed them when they were in Los Angeles in 2005, so I saw them in vegas the next opportunity I had. There were so many songs that I recognized that I didnt even know that they (4 seasons) sang. And so many of their songs that were re-made by other artists. I totally would go see them again, and dh agrees! Thanks for your guess about the lube, it makes sense, duh on me!

I know what you mean about that horrible evil act. Even my dad was depressed about it, and hes not the softie type. 

I can imagine that the mall was packed, but at least you got your shopping done! Maybe you did spend too much (welcome to the club), but you'll be contributing financially soon, right :happydance:

*Stef,*

Thats great news!! Fx that inspection comes back good and there arent any bumps in the road to closing on your house. Sorry to hear about your UTI, and fx that the bleeding stops for good now!!


----------



## StefNJunk

Thanks meli and vegas! We have good feelings about the house inspection, so hopefully they'll be right!

vegas, she didn't mention if she had children, but she did say, "It'll happen when you least expect it," which sounded to me like she does. What got to me is she doesn't look any older than I am (29).


----------



## Middysquidge

Hi guys,

Thanks Vegasbaby so much for your more than extensive guide to Vegas, so many invaluable pointers there that we could no way get form google! I want to see 'Jersey Boys' now too!

About the eggwhites, I used it as lube like Vegas says and I had read that it helped the swimmers to live longer, much like ewcm, I wasn't sure at that stage if I got my own! (I know i do now! Been doing this too long now!) I thought it sounded funny anyway, so when dh went out of the room I sneakily put some up there! Lol! Felt a bit silly but I concieved that month!

Stef, I'm so happy for you! I really am! You know what they say, new house, new baby! Well round here they do! It's all about to happen for you, I just know it!

Jas x x


----------



## angel2010

Congrats on the house Stef!!


----------



## StefNJunk

Thanks everyone :) Inspections on house today, will be sure to update on how it goes!

I just finished my rx of Cipro last night. I used to get UTIs as a teen a lot, but don't remember how long the antibiotics take to work, so I'm a little worried. It seems to be worse this morning than it was before, more cramping. Wondering if the rx is just going to take a few days?


----------



## jenkb123

Stef -I hope the inspection goes great!! That is so exciting!! Hope the medication kicks in fast and the uti clears up quickly!! 

I am cd9 today. Finished my last clomid Sunday. Not sure when to start using the opk's. I am thinking I might start today even though its early. That way I can be sure not to miss anything. With my crazy unpredictable cycles and the possibility that the last two months prior to my bfp that I didn't ovulate on my own I am really hoping that i will get a +opk this month. 

How is everyone else doing??


----------



## Meli_H

Hi Jasmine,
Thanks for the info about the eggwhites. Good to know! I&#8217;d never heard about that&#8230;

Hi Jen,
GL on catching the O!


----------



## Meli_H

Hey vegas,
how're you doing? When do you start your new job??


----------



## StefNJunk

Feeling depressed last few days. Everything baby / toddler is making me sad. Working on getting that house... inspections didn't go so well. Possible foundation issue that could cause us to have to walk away if the seller either won't repair or lower house price. So stressed out lately :(


----------



## Middysquidge

StefNJunk said:


> Feeling depressed last few days. Everything baby / toddler is making me sad. Working on getting that house... inspections didn't go so well. Possible foundation issue that could cause us to have to walk away if the seller either won't repair or lower house price. So stressed out lately :(

Awww Stef, sorry to hear this babe :hugs:

I know what you mean, it's so hard when it feels like babies and pregnant people are everywhere too! Remember to try and stay focused on what you will have in the future, you WILL have gorgeous snuggly baby, you WILL have fabulous new house, it's just a pain waiting for them I know! 

What are your plans for Christmas? x x


----------



## Meli_H

*Hey Stef,*

FX that youre dealing with a motivated seller who will repair the prob or give credit towards the selling price!! It sounds like that house is perfect and meant to be! Hows your UTI healing coming along?

*Jasmine,*

Howre you doing? Youre about 10dpo, am I right? Are you symptom spotting yet??

*Jen,*

GL on catching the O!!!

*Angel, *

How are you doing?


----------



## Middysquidge

Hey Meli,

I'm okay thanks :)

8dpo today, 'symptoms' cramping since 3dpo, like proper AF cramps at times, and very very thirsty. Temps don't show anything yet, with the last pregnancy I had a huge dip at 9dpo so I'm nervous for tomorrows temp! I can't help fantasising about getting a christmas BFP but I know it probably won't be! 

How are you? About 4dpo yeah? x x x


----------



## angel2010

Meli_H said:


> *Angel, *
> 
> How are you doing?

Doing pretty good. We got a little snow this morning and had a tornado watch last night.:wacko: Seemed like before I knew it Christmas was only a week away, now time is dragging. I can't wait!!


----------



## StefNJunk

Jasmine, it definitely is a pain! I've always had a severe lack of patience! :wacko: My family is over 1000 miles away, so I won't be seeing them for Xmas this year. We'll be spending it with OH's family. They're great, so I know it'll be fun :) As for the rest of the time off, hopefully just relaxing (and practicing baby making ;) )

Meli, so far so good with the seller. He knows what we want fixed in the house and apparently sounds agreeable, or at least open to working with us. He'll be removing the paneling from the basement so we can see if it is a foundation issue (crossing fingers it's not, there's a TINY chance!). If it is, we will go from there. If not, it shouldn't be a problem getting him to take care of the other requests we had because they are much smaller!

As for my UTI, I'm still not sure... The cramping is mostly gone, but sometimes when I got to sit down I feel some pain in my abdomen. Since the cramping is mostly gone I get the feeling they'll tell me to wait a few more days or to come in again... really don't want to pay for another visit to find out nothing so I might just wait until tomorrow, use one of the UTI test strips I have left and see if it's still positive and then call them.

Making another trip up to the house today so OH's brother can look at it (he's planning to become a house inspector so we are going to get his opinion on the work needed). Hoping the weather stays well behaved until then... I don't have much snow driving experience (funny, being from New England!).


----------



## Meli_H

*Jasmine,*

Wow, symptoms sound promising! I am *definitely* going to check in tomorrow morning first thing to see if you got your huge dip FX FX FX!! I totally think you WILL get your xmas bfp! :dust:

I am _barely_ 3dpo.I already have a feeling that Im out for this month, but I will start testing starting 8dpo, just in case..I have plenty of cheap dollar tree tests!

*Angel,*

Wow! Snow and tornado watch?? Didnt know that was possible! I guess living in CA I dont have to worry about that stuff, just have to worry about earthquakes..yikes :)

Were in the same boattime is dragging, hurry up! Hurry up!!

*Stef,*

Sorry that youre so far away from your family, but at least you enjoy OHs family. Imagine if you didnt like them?? That would truly be horrid! 
Keep us posted about the foundation issue. At least it sounds like you have a motivated seller.

fx that your UTI goes away and you dont have to make another drs appt. Are you drinking cranberry juice, in addition to the RX?


----------



## StefNJunk

Meli, I bought some cranberry juice, but haven't started drinking it yet :roll: I feel like it should be all gone by now though, finished the on Monday (she only gave me 3 days). Get the feeling it wasn't enough.


----------



## Middysquidge

Thanks Meli! Have been having a lot more cramping today, I want to test tomorrow but I only will test this early if I see the dip tomorrow and a rise again so 10dpo like last time but am thinking I won't get a dip, no two cycles are ever the same but I hope I do!

Don't think your out yet, your not out till AF gets you! Fx x x x


----------



## vegasbaby

Stef: Hope everything works out with the house. Home inspectors don't feel like they are doing their job unless they find something, so hopefully the foundation is in better shape than he thinks. Hope that UTI goes away too. They are horrible!

Angel: You are so lucky to have snow! I'm hoping we see some while we are home in Memphis, but it is doubtful. No way we will ever get any here in Florida. Glad the tornadoes stayed away from you. Scary stuff.

Jasmine: I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. So far it is sounding good. You are right about the charting. Other than O being pretty obvious the rest is anyone's guess. My BFP month didn't feel or look all that different than some of my BFN months (and I had a lot of those for comparison purposes). Any IB? I never got it, but that seems to be a really positive sign. A BFP would be the best Christmas gift ever. 

Meli: How are you?

AFM: Yesterday I went in to fill out all the paperwork for the new job and the people who interviewed me all came to congratulate me and say how excited they were that I would be working with them. That really made me happy. I then ran all over town because they needed me to take a drug test and a physical (at two different places so totally inefficient). I still need to be fingerprinted, but can't do it until we get back from vacation as the lady who does it is on vacation. I'll start sometime at the end of January. I also went in for my weekly blood test yesterday and hope to hear the results today. I'd love for it to be negative already, but I expect it won't quite be there yet.


----------



## angel2010

vegasbaby said:


> Stef: Hope everything works out with the house. Home inspectors don't feel like they are doing their job unless they find something, so hopefully the foundation is in better shape than he thinks. Hope that UTI goes away too. They are horrible!
> 
> Angel: You are so lucky to have snow! I'm hoping we see some while we are home in Memphis, but it is doubtful. No way we will ever get any here in Florida. Glad the tornadoes stayed away from you. Scary stuff.
> 
> Jasmine: I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. So far it is sounding good. You are right about the charting. Other than O being pretty obvious the rest is anyone's guess. My BFP month didn't feel or look all that different than some of my BFN months (and I had a lot of those for comparison purposes). Any IB? I never got it, but that seems to be a really positive sign. A BFP would be the best Christmas gift ever.
> 
> Meli: How are you?
> 
> AFM: Yesterday I went in to fill out all the paperwork for the new job and the people who interviewed me all came to congratulate me and say how excited they were that I would be working with them. That really made me happy. I then ran all over town because they needed me to take a drug test and a physical (at two different places so totally inefficient). I still need to be fingerprinted, but can't do it until we get back from vacation as the lady who does it is on vacation. I'll start sometime at the end of January. I also went in for my weekly blood test yesterday and hope to hear the results today. I'd love for it to be negative already, but I expect it won't quite be there yet.


We are from Memphis too! I graduated high school in Munford, just north of Memphis past millington. Do you know where that is?


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## Meli_H

*Jasmine,*

:dust::dust:

*stef,*

hoping the cranberry juice works it's magic!!

*vegas,*

Glad to hear the wheels are in motion, sometimes that stuff takes much longer to even start. You can enjoy your time with your family
and start gearing up to work in about 1 month...I hope this job is a great fit for you. It sounds like your co-workers are nice. That's great because there's noting worse than working with a person/or people you can't stand :growlmad: I'm sure we've all been there!

fx that your blood test finally comes back below 5. keep me posted!

afm, i am 4dpo. i was feeling bloated and gassy yesterday, but I suspect it was due to the food and pina colada i had 
at our xmas lunch...


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## StefNJunk

vegas, the inspector may have been right about this one. We haven't had the paneling removed from the basement yet, but I brought OH's brother up to the house yesterday. He's looking to become a home inspector himself, so we figured he could tell us if the work that's needed is worth it. Anyway, he and OH found a matching crack on the opposite end of the house on the outside, so we are expecting to see it on the inside, as well, meaning the inspector was right. We'll find out this weekend, hopefully. It doesn't mean this house is out, not at all. If the seller is willing to get the repair done (anchoring the wall, not sure how that works, just know it's expensive) or lower the price of the house so we can save the money to get it done ourselves, we will still be buying this house. We both REALLY hope so, we really love this one.

As for the UTI, I have to go in again today, bleh.


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## jenkb123

Stef - I hope that the seller is cooperative!! A new house would be a fantastic way to start the new year. If they don't cooperate then you just have to trust it is because there is a better house out there waiting for you!! Hope the uti is gone and the doctor can confirm it. 

Meli - Hope you caught the eggie!! Sounds like you had a yummy xmas lunch!! 

Vegas - Fx'ed for a good blood test result!! I am so happy for you with the new job!! Such a great way to start off the new year. 

Jasmine - Hope this is your month!! 

Afm - I am at cd12. We are trying to follow SMEP this month. Hope it works!! I am not sure when/if I will o (no such thing as a regular cycle for me). Time will tell! 

Hope everyone else is doing well!! Only 4 more days until Christmas...scary...I need to get my shopping done!!


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## Middysquidge

Hey Vegas, Let us know about the blood test, I really hope it's good news for you! Great news for your new job, that must have been a relief! It sounds like it's going to be a really nice place to work! I didn't have an IB or a drop in temp or anything no clues at all this time! I'm thinking it's a BFN but we'll see, am testing again tomorrow with a FRER! Arggghhh!

Stef, much luck with the house, I really really hope you can get it! I have a good feeling even from here in Yorkshire, I hope it's the one! Boo to uti, big fat boo!

Meli, gas is a good sign, Pina colada even better! Haha! 

Jen, good luck with SMEP it's meant to be the perfect thing to do for ladies who have had a miscarriage, it has a really good success rate! Enjoy getting jiggy over christmas!

Hope you all have a wonderful week, I love the Christmas build up, it's so exciting! x x x


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## vegasbaby

Hum, I could have sworn I already posted something, but it is not showing up. So here I go again.

Angel: Yes, I now Munford! Haven't been there is years. Do you still have family there?

Stef: Hope the sellers help you out as I know you really want the house. Good luck at the doctor. Hope they can make that UTI go away for good.

Meli: Hope you get your bfp soon. You could have it in time for New Years. Let's all hope 2013 is our lucky year.

Jenk: SMEP should cover all the bases even if your don't track O. We tried it one month, but ran out of steam before O got here. Good luck! 

Jasmine: Good luck. I wanted to test like every day, but it go sooo expensive. I bought some internet cheapies, but they arrived the day after I got my bfp. I did use a few to confirm, but have quite a few left. Guess I get to use them now (though I wish I didn't get to). 

Got my hcg results and I'm down to 17 (last week was 42). This is still not considered negative, but at least it is going down. I go back in two weeks (they are giving me Christmas off since I'm so low and I will be out of town). Hoping that I will be negative at that time. Last night I couldn't sleep which was common for me the night before I start my period, but nothing has happened. I'm guessing it will take at least another two weeks and I doubt I'll ovulate. Of course I am not allowed to get pregnant so I guess it doesn't matter. Regardless, I am tracking my temps just to see what is going on with my cycle. Well, I need to go and pack.


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## Middysquidge

Have a great time hun, sorry to hear you are feeling low. I guess your levels will be back to negative in two weeks! Ready for the New Year. 

Oh, I'm such a tight arse when it comes to pregnancy tests, those frers were like the most I have ever spent in my life, £10 for two, I always use internet cheapies! x x x


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## angel2010

Vegas, my husband's family lives in Covington still. We go there a couple of times a year. After high school, we lived in Cordova off Germantown Parkway.


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## StefNJunk

My body is making me want to pull my hair out.

So I went in for my appointment yesterday (Planned Parenthood). Waited 45 minutes. They then called me back to basically say, "Oops, we forgot you were out here, the NP already left for the day." So, with driving time and sitting in the office, I wasted 2 hours. The assistant said she would talk to the manager about doing something.

Went back in today, got there 15 minutes early. Didn't get called back for 45 minutes. Found out the manager is on vacation... so no talking to her I guess? Couldn't even get a discount on the payment because of that. What a crock!

So I got tested again for the UTI. They said nothing about it, but did test me for BV, since I requested it. I do have that. They apparently don't test for uterine infection, so hopefully that's not part of the problem. She also tried to imply that OH could be cheating on me.

I got my prescriptions from their office. When I got home I noticed neither of the bottles had any directions on them, and they gave me no info packets. Luckily I realized before they closed.

I WILL be contacting the manager after the holidays.


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## jennc

I was due June 25th and on Black Friday I started bleeding. I already knew what happened but since the closest hospital did not have a sonogram machine, they told me to go home and rest. When I started bleeding heavier the next day, I went to a different hospital and they confirmed my worst fears. It was my first child. I decided on having the D&C. I haven't had my first period again yet and the doctor told me we had to wait at least two cycles to build the uterine wall back up. I am terrified to try again. Not just for fear of miscarrying again but all the other things that go along with it. I'm afraid that my fear of another miscarriage may lead me to be less happy about being pregnant again. I fear that the excitement just won't be there again. I told everyone when I found out that I was pregnant because the joy was just too much for me to keep to myself. It was very hard to tell everyone what happened but at the same time, everyone has been very supportive. I can't imagine how hard it must be for women who had to suffer in silence. Whether the fear is normal or not, know that you are not alone in it.


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## Middysquidge

jennc said:


> I was due June 25th and on Black Friday I started bleeding. I already knew what happened but since the closest hospital did not have a sonogram machine, they told me to go home and rest. When I started bleeding heavier the next day, I went to a different hospital and they confirmed my worst fears. It was my first child. I decided on having the D&C. I haven't had my first period again yet and the doctor told me we had to wait at least two cycles to build the uterine wall back up. I am terrified to try again. Not just for fear of miscarrying again but all the other things that go along with it. I'm afraid that my fear of another miscarriage may lead me to be less happy about being pregnant again. I fear that the excitement just won't be there again. I told everyone when I found out that I was pregnant because the joy was just too much for me to keep to myself. It was very hard to tell everyone what happened but at the same time, everyone has been very supportive. I can't imagine how hard it must be for women who had to suffer in silence. Whether the fear is normal or not, know that you are not alone in it.

Hi Jennc, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss :hugs: It's not very nice to have to come into this part of the foum but there are a lot of us going through the same thing together here. Where abouts are you based?

I don't know if you have read a lot of the thread but I was due June 3rd with my second child, it was a mmc at 12 weeks (9+3) and had a d&c the next day. I haven't waited to try again and am currently in 2ww. When i first had the d&c I wasn't sure if I even wanted to try again, I didn't know if I could put myself through that again but I soon came round!

I understand what you're saying about it taking the magic away, especially with it being your first it must have been even more of a horrible shock, I'm sorry you had to go through that. :cry: I'm sure though when you get your rainbow baby it will be just as special but you'll always have that niggle that probably never goes away but the baby will be all the more special because of your loss.

Big hugs,

Jasmine x x x


----------



## jenkb123

Vegas - Glad to hear the number has dropped. I think by the time you go in for your next test in two weeks it will be 0!! I hope you enjoy your Christmas away with your family!! 

Jasmine - I think they know that us ttc women will pay to support our poas habits!! They do make those tests really expensive. I have some ic I got recently. Before they came I spent lots on tests. It seems like an extra insult when you get a bfn on a test you paid $10-20 for!!! But I know when the time comes I will be back in that store paying too much for a test that I can trust more than the ic's. 

I really hope you get your bfp!! I have my fx'd for you!! 

Stef - That is incredibly frustrating. I would be making a complaint to that manager too!! 

jennc - I am so sorry for your loss. I can relate to a lot of what you have said as I am also ttc #1. It hit me really hard when after a year and a half of trying we finally got our first bfp only to have a m/c. Trying again is a scary thought. Especially just after going through a loss. You will know when you are ready again and for some people waiting a bit is a good thing. I think fear is very normal. I think we have all experienced it. Like Jasmine I have decided to try again. I waited for one af after the m/c. It seems all doctors have different advice about how long to wait. I didn't have a d&c though so I think that makes a bit of a difference with the lining. 

I am very grateful that I have not had to suffer in silence. Talking to the women on this forum has been very helpful to me. I am glad you found it too (although I wish you would not have had to join us in these circumstances!) Talking to people after this loss I am always surprised how many people have had m/c's. People that I see on a regular basis and talk to but they have never said anything about it before now. It has taken some of the magic out of pregnancy, knowing how common it is, fearing it will happen again. I will have a different experience next pregnancy. But I will also have a much bigger appreciation for my rainbow baby when the time comes!! I will not take it for granted and I hope I will be more conscious of others and what they may be going through.


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## Meli_H

Stef,
omg! that was horrendous customer service. they should be ashamed of themselves. i do hope that you follow up with the manager! and the nerve of her to imply that dh was cheating!!

JennC,
sorry...:hugs:

vegas,
that's great news of your numbers dropping more. I am sure that you will start the new year right and the next time you get your blood drawn, you will be negative !


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## Meli_H

jenkb123 said:


> Stef - I hope that the seller is cooperative!! A new house would be a fantastic way to start the new year. If they don't cooperate then you just have to trust it is because there is a better house out there waiting for you!! Hope the uti is gone and the doctor can confirm it.
> 
> Meli - Hope you caught the eggie!! Sounds like you had a yummy xmas lunch!!
> 
> Vegas - Fx'ed for a good blood test result!! I am so happy for you with the new job!! Such a great way to start off the new year.
> 
> Jasmine - Hope this is your month!!
> 
> Afm - I am at cd12. We are trying to follow SMEP this month. Hope it works!! I am not sure when/if I will o (no such thing as a regular cycle for me). Time will tell!
> 
> Hope everyone else is doing well!! Only 4 more days until Christmas...scary...I need to get my shopping done!!

Jenkb,

when are you testing??


----------



## jennc

Jasmine- I'm sorry about your loss too. Until I met my husband's family, I had never known anyone who had a m/c. I helped my sister in law through one and going through it now, I have no idea how I managed to help because I had no clue what she was going through at the time. My husband doesn't quite understand why I joined this site because so many of his family members have experienced it but it's almost like I feel bad talking about it with them because I don't want to open old wounds for them for the sake of my own healing. I know it will always be with me but that it will get easier with time. I thank God for my pastor. He said a prayer for the strength of my faith even before I knew I had m/c. That seems to have helped. I know it will come in time.

Jenkb123- Thank you for your kind words and welcoming me to the forum. I am truly sorry for your loss as well. I know now how difficult it can be. My doc said we have to wait a couple of cycles before trying again. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but our sex life has definitely taken a hit. Did you experience that as well?

I had a D & C just after thanksgiving. I thought I read somewhere that my menstrual cycle should start back up in 2-4 weeks. Any idea when I should start to worry?


----------



## Meli_H

jennc said:


> Jasmine- I'm sorry about your loss too. Until I met my husband's family, I had never known anyone who had a m/c. I helped my sister in law through one and going through it now, I have no idea how I managed to help because I had no clue what she was going through at the time. My husband doesn't quite understand why I joined this site because so many of his family members have experienced it but it's almost like I feel bad talking about it with them because I don't want to open old wounds for them for the sake of my own healing. I know it will always be with me but that it will get easier with time. I thank God for my pastor. He said a prayer for the strength of my faith even before I knew I had m/c. That seems to havehelped. I know it will come in time.
> 
> Jenkb123- Thank you for your kind words and welcoming me to the forum. I am truly sorry for your loss as well. I know now how difficult it can be. My doc said we have to wait a couple of cycles before trying again. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but our sex life has definitely taken a hit. Did you experience that as well?
> 
> I had a D & C just after thanksgiving. I thought I read somewhere that my menstrual cycle should start back up in 2-4 weeks. Any idea when I should start to worry?

Hi Jennc,

although you may want to wait a couple of cycles before ttc, i tmay help you feel that you are being proactive and doing something in the meantime that you wait to ttc. 
You can use OPK's daily starting, maybe day ten or so after your mc started. It may help reassure you that your body is healing and getting right back on track. and you will be more in tune with your body for future baby making!
i got pregnant the first month i ttc, and I mc at ten weeks on Nov 1. I was shocked that I got pg so quickly. After my mc, I started paying attention to my body and using opk's. I think I am more aware of my body than I've ever been.
anyways, just my two cents. It reassured me to know that my body was healing, it may very well help you.

afm, my period started exactly 31 days after my mc, and I used opk's and confirmed that I o'd exactly 15 days later, but everyone is different..


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## Middysquidge

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to drop in and let you know that I might not be coming on here and posting as often now until I can properly start ttc in February. I just feel that time will go so slow if I come in here as often as I have been and I will drive myself crazy. I need to forget about ttc until February, concentrate on moving house and then when it's time to try again, I can start obsessing again! It's not healthy to be thinking about ttc as much as I have been lately and the arrival of my first af (on Christmas Day) has hit me harder than I thought. I was told by a very reliable psychic (clearly not) that I would conceive in December/January this year, this was a long time ago, so when I originally conceived in September I was worried and I was right to be but I guess I always thought we would catch again in December and since we can't try now in January I have kind of lost my faith a bit. It's a longer story than that really but that's it in a nutshell!

I wanted to wish you all the best on your journeys, there may well be some BFPs on here by then and I'll be routing for and keeping an eye on everyone of you, just not as often! I wanted to thank you all for the support you have offered to me in this thread during the last 6 weeks, each and everyone of you deserves and will have your rainbow baby one day not far from here!

Take care June Angels!

Jasmine x x x


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## StefNJunk

When I had my mc in August, af started 27 days later, but I only bled for a week from it. This time, bleeding for 2 1/2 weeks, I'm not sure if what just started yesterday is af or more mc bleeding? The bleeding stopped on the 15th, I figured it would take longer for af to come, but it's been 3 1/2 weeks since I passed the baby. Is it possible it's af already?


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## angel2010

Stef, I am sorry that they were such jerks to you at Planned Parenthood. I hope you got some antibiotics. I think it is def possible to be having your period already, I think our bodies can get a little out of whack after something like a miscarriage. I would just go with it. Sorry if I missed this, but are you ttc right away? If so are you temping or using opks?

Jennc, I am so sorry you are going through this. My doctor told me the reason to wait two cycles was to help you emotional prepare and to have enough time to separate the pregnancies. He said it was important to distinguish that it would be a new pregnancy and to carry those thoughts into it. I know it is going to be super hard to keep those thoughts away though.:hugs:

Jasmine, see you soo!

Okay, so please help to refresh me! Who all is ttc now and if you aren't when are you? Also, what are you doing to try? Like using opks or temping? And if you are ttc already, when are you testing?

I see that Jasmine is ttc in Feb. Assuming my thyroid numbers stay low I will be trying around the end of Jan to Feb also. 

Afm, I went in today to give blood. I go back on monday to find out my thyroid results. I need to be at about 2 to ttc. At my last check I was still at 10.8. FX for me!


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## jenkb123

Meli - I am not sure if I have o'd yet. I have been using opk's. I have not had a positive (but with the holiday season I haven't been home a lot so I have not been able to test at proper times). I am at cd18 today. I think that I should o very soon if I have not already. We have been dtd every other day since day 8 so I hope that we will cover all the bases. I think I would start testing around Jan 10 if af doesn't come before then. When are you planning to test??

jennc - The pregnancy and the m/c were both tough on our sex life. In the beginning of the pregnancy I definitely did not feel in the mood. Once I had the m/c it put things on hold even longer. To be completely honest we did not dtd from the time I got pregnant until cd8 of this cycle (first af after the m/c) when we started following SMEP. My husband was quite patient with me and didn't try to push things (too much) but I know he was very glad when I was ready again.

My af came 32 days after the m/c (if you count the first day of bleeding from the m/c as cd1). My ob told me that it was normal for af to come anywhere from 4-8 weeks after the m/c. I wouldn't be worried unless it was more than a few months. Have you had your hcg levels checked?? Normally af won't come until your levels go back down to 0 (or close to 0). 

Jasmine - I am so sorry that af got you this month. It was especially rude of her to show up on Christmas day!! I can understand needing to take a step back until you can try again. It is tough not to obsess. I have a good feeling about February for you!! I think it will be your month. Keep in touch. Thanks for all of your support too!! 

Stef - I think it is possible that it could be af. I wouldn't think you should be having more m/c bleeding this long after it stopped unless you had retained tissues. If your hcg had gone down to 0 after the m/c I would think this should be af. 

Angel - Fx'ed for your results on Monday!! I am ttc right now. I am not very confident about this month. I am taking clomid and they were unable to get me in for my follicle tracking this month (due to the timing of Christmas and people being on holidays at the clinic). Last time I took clomid I needed a HCG trigger shot as I wasn't o'ing on my own. We have been following SMEP and have managed to stick to dtd every other day starting day 8. I am now cd18. I have not had a +opk yet. So I either missed it or have not o'd. Time will tell. I have a feeling I will be joining you next month and trying again. At least next month I will be able to have my tracking done!! 

Hello to everyone else!! I hope everyone had a good Christmas!!


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## StefNJunk

angel2010 said:


> Stef, I am sorry that they were such jerks to you at Planned Parenthood. I hope you got some antibiotics. I think it is def possible to be having your period already, I think our bodies can get a little out of whack after something like a miscarriage. I would just go with it. Sorry if I missed this, but are you ttc right away? If so are you temping or using opks?




jenkb123 said:


> Stef - I think it is possible that it could be af. I wouldn't think you should be having more m/c bleeding this long after it stopped unless you had retained tissues. If your hcg had gone down to 0 after the m/c I would think this should be af.

It's definitely af, it's gotten heavier and is looking more like it normally does. Which means if I o on my regular schedule and get preg this month, the due date would be the day before my bday. But I'm trying not to overthink that!

angel2010, unless something changes (e.g. the infection doesn't go away with this antibiotic, and it seems to be working out fine), we will be ttc right away. Not temping, thought about OPKs. Used them last time just to see if I was accurate on when I was o'ing (I can feel it, last time to the point it made me nauseous!) and I was. This time I'm not sure because I don't know if it'll be regular so I don't know when I should start. Debating getting a bunch of the Dollar Tree ones but even that adds up and we're trying to spend as little as possible before closing on the house. May leave this month up to trusting that I'll know when it's happening, or that in combination with using the OPKs around the time I expect it.


----------



## angel2010

jenkb123 said:


> Angel - Fx'ed for your results on Monday!! I am ttc right now. I am not very confident about this month. I am taking clomid and they were unable to get me in for my follicle tracking this month (due to the timing of Christmas and people being on holidays at the clinic). Last time I took clomid I needed a HCG trigger shot as I wasn't o'ing on my own. We have been following SMEP and have managed to stick to dtd every other day starting day 8. I am now cd18. I have not had a +opk yet. So I either missed it or have not o'd. Time will tell. I have a feeling I will be joining you next month and trying again. At least next month I will be able to have my tracking done!!
> 
> Hello to everyone else!! I hope everyone had a good Christmas!!

Thanks! Good luck this cycle, hopefully you catch o this cycle and get a sticky bean in there!


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## angel2010

Stef, if you want to get opks, get them on Amazon. I think I got 30-40 opks and 10 preg tests for like $15 last time. I am not sure if I want to use opks next time or just go with the flow. I am a pretty anal person, so I think i will end up getting some opks though.

edited, I do temp though.


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## jennc

Meli- You can tell I'm new to this since I haven't quite gotten all the lingo down yet lol so what is opks? Can you fill me in on some of the other shorthands. The doc said I was healing up fine but I don't know why my period seems to be taking so long to start up again. Maybe it's because for the first time in my life, I want my period, go figure. Any idea how many members are on this forum?

Jasmine- I'm disappointed that you won't be chatting as much since I just joined the group. Good luck in TTC again. I'll be doing the same around February too. Keep us posted!


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## jennc

Jenkb- I read somewhere that your hormone levels drop pretty quick after a D &C not to mention that when I went into the hospital, they had already dropped significantly from the day before. It's already been 34 days so hopefully it's right around the corner.


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## Meli_H

*Jasmine,*

I will miss you, but I completely understand your decision. I am sure I will run into you on other boards here soon. GL on moving and getting your new household set up, and I am looking forward to your updates! *Thanks for all your support!!*

*Angel & Jenkb,*

I am currently 11dpo, have been testing like a madwoman since 6 dpo. I am not very confident we caught the egg, but I will keep testing, just in case. Ive been using both the Dollar Tree cheapies and the Target early response, BFNs of course!! However, I may take a break from ttc, I should know more within the next couple of weeks. I may be a live liver donor for my uncle, and I assume that would require a stop to the baby making, but I just don't know for how long...:nope:

*Angel,* FX that your thyroid results come back lower than 2!!

*Jenkb,* FX that you caught the egg!!!! Have you kept using the Opks? I know of one lady on another board just got her bfp, 4 weeks after her mc! She was testing daily using opks and found out she od on cd22, which is late for her regular cycle. I think thats where my mistake came, I started testing daily on day 10 of my mc until day 18 of my mc, then gave up, because I normally O on day 12-15, and when I didnt O by day 18, I gave up. *Im pretty sure I od late that month and stopped testing too soon. Moral of the story is, dont stop using the opks too early if you want to know!*

*Stef,*

Omg, that is such a good sign!! *FXd!!* That would be amazing for you to get pg this month and have an EDD close to your bday!!

*Jennc,*

Opks are ovulation testing kits, kind of work like home preg tests in that you pee on them, and get the result as to whether or not you are ovulating soon. I buy the cheapie Dollar Tree opks, they work great! I have no idea how many members are on this forum, that;s a great question! The best you can do is read back through all the threads and you will find out so much info! Let me know if you have more questions

*I hope everyone had a good Christmas!!*


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## angel2010

Wow Meli! That is really amazing of you!


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## Megan1986

First at since d/c .... took almost 8 weeks for it to show up. Having awful cramps :(


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## Middysquidge

Hi guys, couldn't keep away, lol! No, I'm just popping in! Just wanted to wish you good luck with testing Meli, either way I suppose it's a positive thing, if you can help your uncle that's great. How long a break would you need to take? 

Big hugs Megan, that sucks but at least she is finally here and you can move on! 

AFM, having a stupidly light AF, my lining is obviously very thin, so I'm using this month to chart, take follic acid and one baby aspirin a day to build up my lining ready for next month and I'm gonna invest in digital OPKs so that we don't BD too early as we're not big on the BD front, more of a once a week couple anyway! Nothing coming up on the rental market with all of these silly bank holidays! Bah humbug!

Big hugs to everyone here, good luck with all of your BFPs! x x x


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## angel2010

I'm sorry Megan, I hope they go away quickly!

Jasmine, my af was stupidly light as well. Only two days of light and one day of spotting.


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## Megan1986

I had 5 days of spotting a few weeks back, thought it was af but I was very wrong! This is af for sure .. maybe that was me ovulating?


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## jennc

Meli- Yeah I figured it out after I signed off lol. Before the m/c I had been pretty good at recognizing when I was ovulating. I guess right now, I'm just not sure what to expect, so it couldn't hurt to have some on hand. 

Megan- I'm sorry about the cramps. I have been warned they suck the first time back. Try the usual: wine, warm bath, heating pad, and a little trick my sister in law gave me, Pamprin extra strength and Excedrin menstrual. One of each and I swear they work so well, you can tell the second they stop working.


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## Middysquidge

angel2010 said:


> I'm sorry Megan, I hope they go away quickly!
> 
> Jasmine, my af was stupidly light as well. Only two days of light and one day of spotting.

I've been researching that taking one baby aspirin a day is good for building the lining back up so I'm gonna try that this month! I can't believe I actually want a heavy period next month! Bring it on witchy! Hope you're okay x x x


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## angel2010

Jasmineivy said:


> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> I'm sorry Megan, I hope they go away quickly!
> 
> Jasmine, my af was stupidly light as well. Only two days of light and one day of spotting.
> 
> I've been researching that taking one baby aspirin a day is good for building the lining back up so I'm gonna try that this month! I can't believe I actually want a heavy period next month! Bring it on witchy! Hope you're okay x x xClick to expand...

I currently take baby asprin daily because I have a gene mutation called MTHFR that increases my risk for clots.


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## Middysquidge

Oh okay, so do you normally have heavy periods then that is attributed ti taking that? x


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## angel2010

I normally have 4-5 days of light to medium. So it basically cut in half. I will be waiting for at least one more period before ttc, maybe even two.


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## vegasbaby

Hi Everyone! Did everyone have a nice Christmas? Looks like I have missed quite a bit over the past week.

Jasmine: Sorry af arrived, and I understand wanting to take a break from BnB. We are here for you if you need us. Also, I want to hear all about your dh's trip to Vegas.

Stef: Can't believe how awful your experience was at PP. I hope you call and complain.

Meli: You are such a good person to offer to donate part of your liver. You should have a lot of good karma coming your way.

Jenn: I'm going to try that combo if I ever get my af. Thanks!

Megan: While I know no one here really wants af, I'm glad yours has arrived. I'm still waiting on mine. 

Angel: Good luck with your test. 

afm: We just got back last night from our trip home. We had a wonderful time with friends and family, but I am happy to be back in my own home. If any of you ever have to take a long road trip with a toddler I highly recommend you invest in a portable dvd player and a bunch of cartoons. We could not have done 24 hours of driving without it. Nothing to report here. I am 4.5 weeks post d&c with no af and since my temps are still down I have yet to ovulate. I have a feeling it will be at least another two weeks, maybe more. I might try the baby aspirin next cycle as I'm sure my lining is pretty screwed up.


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## Middysquidge

Hey Vegas, so glad you had a lovely break! I'm trying to take a break from bnb but tbh it's not really working I'm still coming on here all the time! I've definitely chilled out with the ttc though, just focusing on the move atm!

Funnily enough, we got our dd a portable dvd player and headphones for Christmas, it's been great already, just for getting our tv back! DH is loving having the footie on!

I'm sorry your af hasn't arrived yet, totally rude. I was tempting and using opks so I could see I ovulated so I knew when to expect my af but I'm glad we're having a break ttc this month as I explained I want to get a heavy af first! 

OH is off to Vegas on Thursday, we had some of our best mates over yesterday and they have been to Vegas, they were telling us about 'ASS juice' from the porcelin toilet cups! Minging! I'll let you know how his trip goes, he might give ass juice a miss! ha x

Glad to hear from you anyway! So, will you be ttc around March then? x x x


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## Meli_H

Hi *Jasmine*!

today I am 13-14 dpo. The last time i tested was yesterday, BFN of course. that's why I didnt even bother to test today, why waste more hpt's! I am so sure that I am not pg, it's just a gut feeling I have. I agree with you-either way is a positive thing-either being pg is good, or not being pg and being able to donate liver is good too, however, that bring on another issue--dh is NOT in agreement at all with the possibility. I am already stressing out about the whole thing-i really dont need to add another facet to stress out over--it's horrible enough without him not being supportive AT ALL. I have no idea how long a ttc break I would need to take-all i do know so far is that i would be hospitalized for 1 week, and required to take off at least 4 weeks
from work to recuperate.

I think you've got a good plan in place--take the baby aspirin and build up your uterine lining. As far as the digital opk's, do you have any dollar tree stores or 99cent stores in the UK? Those opk's aren't digital, but I have been using them and have been very satisfied. These give you 36-48 hours notice of O.

Today I bought a first response fertility test. yes, more poas!! you're supposed to use it on the cd3, and it's supposed to tell you about your egg reserve levels. "It detects FSH, and can indicate the status of a woman's ovarian reserve and her pregnancy potential". 
I was curious, so I thought, why not, and I bought it!

btw, I am totally going to google 'ass juice' and 'minging' as I have absolutely no idea what it is and I'm curious!!

*vegas,*

welcome back! glad to hear your trip was nice. I think if I was in a car with a toddler, dvd or not, I would be about stir crazy at the end of the trip lol! *FX af shows soon!*

*Hello to all the other ladies, and happy NY to all!*


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## vegasbaby

Jasmine: I never had ass juice while in Vegas. As a woman I could never order a drink with a name like that! I don't plan on TTC until at April or May. My doctor doesn't want me to start TTC until July (I'm supposed to test monthly for six months from my first negative hcg blood draw which I hope I get this week). I have no intention of waiting until July, but I don't want to start too soon and make my doctor mad, nor do I want to get pregnant during the first few months of my new job as morning sickness, fatigue and productivity do not mix. 

Meli: I've never heard of those first response tests. Sounds interesting. Sorry your dh is not on board about the liver donation. Do you know that you are a match? Can anyone else donate if you can't? Have you talked to your doctor about how much time off you would need from TTC if you do donate or have you tried to look it up on google (though how trustworthy is google)? Just curious.


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## StefNJunk

Jasmine, I totally support if you want to take a break from the site, but I'm glad you haven't quite done that! We'd miss you :)

Meli, I hope DH comes around to whatever it is you decide you want to do with the liver donation. 

vegas, hope your levels are back to normal at this next draw!

So OH was planning on waiting until tonight to give me my Xmas present, but got antsy and couldn't wait, ended up giving it to me on the 29th. He got me the new iPad with retina display, but it's special. When I opened the card attached to it, I looked over to see him on his knees holding the case he bought for it. The card said, "Will you marry me?" The iPad and case have our names with his last name inscribed on them. True geek proposal :)


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## vegasbaby

Stef: Huge congratulations :happydance:! Looks like 2013 will be a wonderful year for you. So excited for you.


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## Middysquidge

ARRRGGGHHHH Stef! CONGRATS! That is fantastic, I LOVE the proposal but I'm a total geek too! Hope you said yes!' hehe!

Meli, sorry I didn't realise you wouldn't know what 'minging' means! It just means 'horrible' or 'disgusting', it's just slang really! I have my fingers crossed for your bfp and also that you can't take too much of a break from ttc! I hope OH comes round too and starts supporting you! I hate it when OH isn't supportive, ot's like you can't function properly!

Vegas, yes, the friend that told us about 'ass juice' was of course male! I'd never expect you to have ordered it! Typical eh! OH doesn't fancy it, lol!

Guess what, I just did a cheapy opk and it was a near postive, wtf? I'm cd7?

x x x


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## angel2010

Congrats Stef!!!!

I saw my endocrinologist and my thyroid levels are......................NORMAL!!!! I really didn't think they would be. I was so happy to hear that we could start ttc when we were ready without any worries. But, I came home and saw on facebook a post by my sil talking about being almost 5 months pregnant and how they are about to find out if they are having a "sweet baby girl or boy". Now I feel crushed. I would be about 17.5 weeks today. I want her to be happy and feel okay posting about her pregnancy, but I am so sad now and can't seem to shake it.:cry:


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## Middysquidge

Awww, try not to get too disheartened Angel, it's so great that you can ttc whenever you are ready just try and focus on that, it's hard I know but it's all systems go for you now too, I'm so happy for you. My angel would have been about 19 weeks this week, it's hard. Big hugs to you sweetie x x x


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## vegasbaby

Jasmine: Well, keep testing and make sure you and your dh bd before he goes out of town. You never know....

Angel: Congrats on your thyroid levels! I know this sounds extreme, but maybe you could hide your SIL's updates on FB, at least for a while. While I was in Memphis my sil was around every day, rubbing her belly and talking about all the stuff she can't do because she is pregnant (she has some medical issues) and they announced they were having a boy. It was really hard, but thankfully I had wine to see me through (I need to dry out in the new year).


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## Middysquidge

Thanks Vegas, I got a positive today, cd8, that's crazy isn't it! 

Wine is a great companion but I'm on a health kick now too, it's no fun but none of my clothes fit me! x x x


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## Meli_H

*Vegas,*
Trying to conceive around April-May is a good compromise!
according to google, the recommendation is to wait 3-6 mos before ttc after donating liver.
my uncle's blood type is an extremely rare one-type 'o' blood. I am also type o, as is one other cousin (that we're aware of, so far)...
I am going to my annual physical exam and pap smear on Jan 4, I plan on mentioning the situation to my dr and get her take on it.

*Stef*,
congrats on the proposal!! very cool way to propose to you..glad to hear that your levels finally went down and are able to ttc whenever you feel you are ready!!!

*Jasmine,*
Interesting about the positive opk!!! get to :sex: hee hee!
are you going to keep testing throughout your cycle? One of the ladies here said some women o multiple times throughout their cycle...esp after a mc..which is the reason why women are more fertile after mc's?

*afm,*
The witch got me yesterday morning. oh well, i knew i didn't catch the egg so I really expected it..The only consolation is that my body seems to be right on schedule-af came exactly 30 days after the last one...

and I also should start to 'dry out' and substitute grapefruit juice for wine LOL
oh well, maybe I'll start drying out before I go back to work on Jan 7


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## angel2010

Thanks guys. Another friend posted today that they are expecting. I have sorta been having a self pity party the last two days.:cry:


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## angel2010

She posting again today! I don't know why I am such a mess! I can't seem to handle it at all right now! I think I may ovulate in the next couple of days, so maybe it is all the hormone changes. I have never posted about my miscarriage on facebook (a post that showed to all of my friends at least). But after I saw her post I got so mad and sad that I did. I know that I only did it to be spiteful though. It was like I wanted to burst her bubble a little. How pathetic is that....I have to get control of this.:nope:


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## StefNJunk

angel, vegas has a good suggestion - temporarily hiding her status updates for now. I did that with my cousin who is pregnant because it's ALL she talks about. How her parents never thought they'd have a grandchild (she got pregnant right after she started trying, idk what she's talking about), how her pregnancy has been perfect perfect perfect, how she can't gain too much weight because she has two weddings to be in after the baby is born, how her husband keeps asking the baby to come early (to which she adds "lol" as if that's cute somehow). Drove me insane and was a constant reminder (especially since the post about how perfect perfect her preg has been was when I was waiting for OH to get home to go to the u/s to found out why I was bleeding the day we found the baby had died). I didn't unfriend her, didn't block her, just unsubscribed from her updates. It doesn't alert the person that you did, and if you resubscribe, it won't either.


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## vegasbaby

Jasmine: My fingers are crossed that this is your month. 

Meli: You are still on break? Lucky you! I wish you were here as I have a grapefruit tree in my front yard. I could provide you with gallons of grapefruit juice. It's good for TTC! (Though it did not work for me and I drank a lot of it this time last year, I even tried Mucinex, but I think it wasn't time until it was, and then as we know that didn't work too well since I caught two damn sperm). 

Angel: Yeah, I had another friend announce yesterday that she is preggo. I think that makes at least seven people on my FB who are pregnant. I will say one thing that might help. While everyone posts about being pregnant, no one posts about miscarriages. When I found out I was pregnant this year my MIL told some people back in Memphis and one of those people sent me a congratulatory message on FB. This was a girl I went to high school with who has three small children. After I got the message I sent an e-mail out to my MIL and told her to please stop telling people as I was still in the first trimester and since my first ultrasound was off by a week I just wasn't comfortable with the whole thing (it's like I knew already). Anyway when I lost the baby I sent my friend a message telling her what happened. She sent a message back saying that she too had lost a baby, her first, and has to undergo fertility treatments to have children. If she hadn't told me I would have never known. She has been super supportive to me and now I'm glad she knew. In fact, we have found out that several people we know have experienced miscarriages. When I see a new announcement on FB I now think about the fact that these people may have had fertility problems or a previous miscarriage(s) that they never shared with me. Unless they are a close friend how would I know? Even close friends tend to hide this info. I know that when we finally start seeing BFPs on here I will truly be happy for each and every one of you because I know we have experienced losses and we truly deserve our rainbows and I am trying to extend that same feeling to my FB friends as well. On the other hand, if they are annoying about it, I will not hesitate to hide them from my feed. Sorry for the looooong post. :hugs: 

Stef: Have you discussed a wedding date yet? What kind of wedding do you want to have? 

How is everyone else doing? I feel like we are seeing fewer posts these days, but perhaps that is good as it means people are moving on.

Nothing new here. My temps are up a little one day and back down the next. I wonder if I will ever ovulate. I just want my darn period already! I guess it's only been five weeks, so I'm still considered in the normal range for things, but boy I hate waiting!


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## Middysquidge

Don't be hard on yourself Angel, it's a very difficult time and I bet it felt a little bit like a weight off your shoulders writing that! I posted a picture of my 'Mourning Bear' that I made for my angel, it's black and it's called 'Sorrow' and I wrote 'For someone special who grew wings.' No-one commented on it I think they didn't know what to say and after I wondered if I should have done that but I don't care, it felt good to get it off my chest! 

Our angels are a big part of our lives I don't know why it has to be so taboo! I agree with Vegas and Stef though, just take her off your homepage, she sounds like a right goon anyway! :haha:

Also, I had a total and utter meltdown last night, it appears I'm not handling things very well either. As I mentioned I had a positive OPK yesterday am and the am before that, I was really surprised as I didn't think we would be able to ttc this month with my oh going away but this early opk meant that maybe we were in with a shot! :happydance:

Anyway, I couldn't be bothered telling my OH about the positive opk, he is really stressed and had gotten the idea in his head that we were having a month off and he was quite happy about it. I know it's wrong but I didn't tell him, I just came onto him last night in bed, we dtd and then horror of all horrors, he pulled out at the end. :cry: 

I thought he had done it to be spiteful but he hadn't he just did it cos he likes it. I was absolutely in bits, wailing like a bloody dog and then I had to come clean about it all and he was sooo lovely about it all. I was upset because my opk had gone negative again by the afternoon so I thought it was the tail end of the surge? Turns out though, my urine was just too diluted as I didn't wait 4 hours and had another positive and low temp this morning, oops!

He was just basically saying 'why on earth didn't you tell me we had a window or scream at me when i was pulling it out? I would never have done that but I had no idea and the only reason we're not ttc this month is cos of my trip? He was very confused, no wonder really! I'm not sure why I didn't tell him, I just thought it would be easier, we both want a baby anyway, I just didn't want to stress him out and I'm getting desperate for a baby now. I hate not being pregnant, I feel so empty and it's all I think about every minute of the day.

Anyway, we're going to dtd just once tonight, I don't think it will work, I'm only cd10 and the two positives i got very not quite positive just almost almost! But my temps stayed low this morning and i deffo haven't ovulated so we get one shot this month, fx :thumbup:

Meli, sorry your af came hunny, that's rubbish, but you seem to be dealing with it well. When will you find out if you're being the liver donor? To answer your question, I am going to keep testing but i have to hold my urine for 4 hours which is very very hard for me, I'm testing tonight at 8pm! Interesting about the multiple eggs maybe that could be it or maybe cos they were only almost positive it will happen at a more normal cd like cd 12-14? Who knows? I'm clueless!

x x x


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## vegasbaby

Jasmine: With this last pregnancy we dtd on days -3 and the day I ovulated (based on temps and a positive OPK). With that said, don't worry about last night as you still have a shot at it. Also, perhaps you can dtd tomorrow morning before he leaves. I stopped telling dh that we were ttc as it was too much pressure on him and that I was using him (duh). And to think I would have thought he would be happy that I was using him for his body.


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## Middysquidge

vegasbaby said:


> Angel: Yeah, I had another friend announce yesterday that she is preggo. I think that makes at least seven people on my FB who are pregnant. I will say one thing that might help. While everyone posts about being pregnant, no one posts about miscarriages. When I found out I was pregnant this year my MIL told some people back in Memphis and one of those people sent me a congratulatory message on FB. This was a girl I went to high school with who has three small children. After I got the message I sent an e-mail out to my MIL and told her to please stop telling people as I was still in the first trimester and since my first ultrasound was off by a week I just wasn't comfortable with the whole thing (it's like I knew already). Anyway when I lost the baby I sent my friend a message telling her what happened. She sent a message back saying that she too had lost a baby, her first, and has to undergo fertility treatments to have children. If she hadn't told me I would have never known. She has been super supportive to me and now I'm glad she knew. In fact, we have found out that several people we know have experienced miscarriages. When I see a new announcement on FB I now think about the fact that these people may have had fertility problems or a previous miscarriage(s) that they never shared with me. Unless they are a close friend how would I know? Even close friends tend to hide this info. I know that when we finally start seeing BFPs on here I will truly be happy for each and every one of you because I know we have experienced losses and we truly deserve our rainbows and I am trying to extend that same feeling to my FB friends as well. On the other hand, if they are annoying about it, I will not hesitate to hide them from my feed. Sorry for the looooong post. :hugs:

Just wanted to say, I think this is a great attitude to have, I think this will help not only angel but me too. Thanks so much! It's so true, I have been shocked at the amount of people that have confessed to me that they also have lost a baby, it really is so much more common than you realise, not that it makes it easier but at least it's good to know we can relate to others sometimes when we least expect to!

Made me laugh about you OH complaining being used, I thought men loved to be used! hehe! I'm so gonna use my man up tonight before he heads away tomorrow x x x


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## angel2010

Meli, sorry af got you, good news on your body being on track though. Hopefully this cycle will be it for you!

Vegas, thanks for the advice. I did hide her today after the latest post. And you are completely right in your outlook. I will try to get in that mindset. I hope you ovulate soon!

Stef, glad I'm not alone:hugs:

Jasmine, I hope you catch that eggy!!

Afm, as I said I am waiting to ovulate. I am on day 21 of my cycle and this is roughly the day I usually ovulate. I have not had any ewcm (and I normally do) and my temps are still up. We will see, it is not like I am trying this cycle anyway, but I still like to keep on top of it.


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## StefNJunk

vegasbaby said:


> Stef: Have you discussed a wedding date yet? What kind of wedding do you want to have?

We haven't talked about a date yet, I'm honestly not sure how long we'll wait. I'm very open to what kind of wedding. I'm not a big wedding person and I don't really like being the center of a lot of attention, so I'd be fine with and prefer something small (even the courthouse would be fine with me!). I don't think he'll want something big because he has social anxiety issues, but he has a large family, so we'll see!



angel2010 said:


> Stef, glad I'm not alone:hugs:

:hugs:

So I've gotten very confused. Tuesday night we dtd. Yesterday he said "Maybe I shouldn't have finished inside you last night, just in case." I think he's worried about the stress of moving and being preg, but I just don't want to wait :( Anyway, we dtd last night and he finished inside me again, without a word about it. :shrug:


----------



## angel2010

StefNJunk said:


> So I've gotten very confused. Tuesday night we dtd. Yesterday he said "Maybe I shouldn't have finished inside you last night, just in case." I think he's worried about the stress of moving and being preg, but I just don't want to wait :( Anyway, we dtd last night and he finished inside me again, without a word about it. :shrug:

I wouldn't worry all that much. I am sure you know he will be just as happy as you would be if you all got pregnant. We all get scared a little sometime. Sometimes we just think too much.


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## vegasbaby

Stef: I'm sure he's just concerned about you, but I doubt he's over-thinking it. 

Went to the doctor to have my blood drawn today. Had to take Charlotte with me as she is not back in mother's-day-out yet (the lady who does it is on an extended vacation). She was fine until we were about to leave and then she fell backwards off the stool she was sitting on and banged her head on the floor pretty hard. Several people and nurses came running to see what happened. She is fine, but it was pretty embarrassing. After we went to the pharmacy because I needed cold medicine and to tell them AGAIN to take the prenatals off autofill. The stupid tech said, "So you don't need then anymore?" to which I responded by pointing to my belly and saying "no more baby, no need for vitamins". She then took an attitude with me while she finished checking me out. I went in person and told the pharmacist last month to take it off autofill and that no, I didn't need the pills for that month either (the autofill came in the day I found out I had lost the baby and I need to go get pads for after the d&c). I would have thought they would have followed through. I'm so peeved. I'm just so tired of the reminders. DH and I dtd for only the second time since everything happened last night. I was fine with it emotionally whereas the first time was pretty difficult. He wanted to know when we can TTC again, but I think that is because I am making him wear condoms and he doesn't like them, not really about his desire to procreate. Whatever, at least he will be on board when the time comes. Hope everyone else is having a better day.


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## jennc

I know how you guys have been feeling, every pregnant woman I see lately, I can't stop myself from feeling depressed and subconsciously (okay maybe not so much) asking myself if that person deserves that child. I know it is awful to feel that way but I can't seem to help it lately. Maybe it is just knowing that this may not be the year I get to have my own. Good news though, lucky number 37. Cramps were something fierce but my obg was good enough to call in a prescription. That means one done, one to go before I can ttc. 

Meli- You will have to let us know how that test goes.
StefNjunk- How awesome! Congrats on the proposal.
Angel- Congrats on the normal test. I haven't gotten to catch up on all posts but maybe I will get to do that tonight.

Back to work for me for now. Later


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## Middysquidge

vegasbaby said:


> Stef: I'm sure he's just concerned about you, but I doubt he's over-thinking it.
> 
> Went to the doctor to have my blood drawn today. Had to take Charlotte with me as she is not back in mother's-day-out yet (the lady who does it is on an extended vacation). She was fine until we were about to leave and then she fell backwards off the stool she was sitting on and banged her head on the floor pretty hard. Several people and nurses came running to see what happened. She is fine, but it was pretty embarrassing. After we went to the pharmacy because I needed cold medicine and to tell them AGAIN to take the prenatals off autofill. The stupid tech said, "So you don't need then anymore?" to which I responded by pointing to my belly and saying "no more baby, no need for vitamins". She then took an attitude with me while she finished checking me out. I went in person and told the pharmacist last month to take it off autofill and that no, I didn't need the pills for that month either (the autofill came in the day I found out I had lost the baby and I need to go get pads for after the d&c). I would have thought they would have followed through. I'm so peeved. I'm just so tired of the reminders. DH and I dtd for only the second time since everything happened last night. I was fine with it emotionally whereas the first time was pretty difficult. He wanted to know when we can TTC again, but I think that is because I am making him wear condoms and he doesn't like them, not really about his desire to procreate. Whatever, at least he will be on board when the time comes. Hope everyone else is having a better day.


Aww Vegas, what a crappy rubbish day :hugs:

How annoying that they keep trying to give you those vitamins, she should be lucky you were so polite some people would have told them to shove them up their arses after going in person to request not to get them, silly cow!

It's good that you got to bd and felt okay about it, hopefully it will gradually get better and you'll be raring to go by April/May! My OH is like that about condoms, although I never got round to making him wear them! :haha:

Stef, aww bless your oh, he sounds like a sensitive soul like my oh, I'm sure he'll come round by next week or that you can make him! Good luck!

Meli, great news that your body is back on schedule! 

Angel, I intend to do that this month to, just track everything really carefully even though I can't try :cry: Oh went away today, just as my ewcm arrived, doh! I tried to get him in the bedroom one last time this afternoon but he couldn't quite get there! We managed to bd last night though but that's it, once this cycle on cd9, no hope! God knows whats going on with the opks they are almost positive every morning and negative by afternoon?

Jennc - good to hear from you, I bumped into my pregnant friend at work today, even felt her bump, it was hard (my feelings not her bump like! That was soft of course!). We all have those irrational thoughts you describe it's all part of the healing process! 

:hugs: to all the girls on here x


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## jenkb123

Hello everyone!! I have been trying to keep caught up on posts but I haven't actually written anything for awhile. 

Steph - I am super excited to hear about your engagement!! 

Vegas - Sorry to hear about your bad day!! I hope af comes soon and you don't have to keep waiting!! It took me awhile to want to bd again after the m/c. It wasn't until after my first af came that I actually felt like I wanted to (and to be honest the fact that I wanted to start ttc again was part of the motivation). Things have gotten back closer to normal now. I'm glad the second time was better for you. 

I have my fx'ed that your hcg comes back 0 this time!! 

Jasmine - Glad you got at least one good bd in before he went away. It only takes one!! If it was too early this month I hope next month is your month!! 
I know what you mean about not wanting to stress your husband out with all the ttc details. I don't typically tell mine exactly where things are at either. I don't want to put extra pressure on him. This cycle the day after I had my darkest opk (I didn't think it was fully positive but it looked really close) I started getting negative opk's. I figured I must have o'd and knew we needed to dtd that day. I had a bit of an argument with my husband that evening about something stupid which killed his mood and we didn't bd. I should have just said something about thinking I o'd but I didn't and of course couldnt sleep all night feeling like all of the bd'ing we did this cycle (we had managed to dtd every other day from cd8-cd18) was for nothing as we were going to miss o. We dtd the next day so I hope it wasn't too late. 

Meli - Sorry af got you this month!! But I agree, its good to know your body is getting back on schedule. Next month will be your month!! 

Angel - I hope o comes soon for you!! It is reassuring to know when our body is doing what it is supposed to. One step closer to getting back to normal!! 

jennc - Glad to hear af has arrived and you are one month closer to ttc!! Sorry the cramps were so bad! 

afm - I am at cd25. I think I might have o'd on cd19-20. I never had a fully positive opk. The top part of the line was really dark (the dark part of the line was thin). The bottom part of the line was still lighter than the test line. After two like that I started getting negative opk's so either I didn't o this month or I missed the fully positive. I am going to get my day 25 progesterone level tested today so I will find out Monday if I did o. My bb's are really sore so I am taking that as a good sign that I have high progesterone levels and actually did o.

So for now I am guessing I am 6-7dpo. I am going to try to hold out testing until next Wednesday (which would be cd32). My first af after the m/c came at cd 32.


----------



## Meli_H

*Angel,*

Sorry to hear of all the reminders in your face. We dont do fb, and this is another of those reasons I am glad we/I dont! I like vegas suggestion-temporarily hiding updates is a good ideahugs~~I hope you o, just so that you can keep track of whats going on with your body, like you said..

*Vegas,*
Yes, luckily, I am still on break. I work for a university. They give us a few days for winter break, and I added 3 vacation days to it, so I was off starting Dec 20 and returning Jan 7. I love academia LOL
I wish I was there!! Natural grapefruit juice has got to be the best-natural is always bestbut Im stuck with store bought juice. Wish we could grow a lemon treeheck, I wish we could grow anything that Id want to eat out here where I live!! I have been taking baby aspirin daily and a couple of days ago, started with the grapefruit juice. Will start taking robitussin a few days before O. I actually bought a thermometer to start temping, but I just **cannot** bring myself to start waking up early, before I have to. Ill start temping when I go back to work on Monday, it will be cd9, but its better than nothing. My regular workday wakeup time is 5:10am, so I want to continue to sleep in as long as I can. Boy, will I be in trouble getting up in the morning when its time to go back to work.
Im glad you are so patient. I would be going crazy by now if I hadnt od yet. FX you O soon so you can feel like your body is getting back on track!!!
I think you made some very good points about fb, and about how nobody talks about mcs!!!
Oh, and I have to say it again---everytime I see your avatar, I think, HOW PRECIOUS! Your daughter is SOO adorable!!
So sorry to hear she fell off the stool! Poor thing! But sounds like shes just finekids are so resilient, arent they! 
FX your blood draw come back with good (negative) results!
Your visit today with the pharmacist sounds horrible. Not only do you have to go through that, but then, attitude??How rude! What nerve! She could have at least apologized, and not given you attitude! Oh well..maybe she was having a bad day too, but still..
Sounds like emotionally, youre starting to heal more! Being able to dtd without crying, like you did last time, is progress. Hugs

*Jasmine,*
So sorry to hear things didnt go as planned when you bdd, but FX FX FX you caught the eggy!! :dust::dust:
How are you keeping yourself busy while OH is out of town? I completely miss dh when he has to travel (not often, but it happens once in a while), BUT, Im not gonna lie, I do enjoy doing my own thing without consideration for anyone else. Do I eat dinner? Maybe, maybe not. Do I work out? Maybe, maybe not. Do I watch trashy reality tv or serious tv?..hee hee Im sure you get the picture.
I dont know when I will find out about being a liver donor, our first family meeting with the dr is Jan 14, Until then, just following the plan, and if I get pg, fine, if not, then oh well, onward with the liver donor process!
You know, I really shouldnt complain, although I guess I do. DH is always in the moodand drives me crazy, but I guess it serves me well for purposes of trying to get pg. However, I do get scaredhowever will I keep him happy once I have a baby?? I cant imagine how tired I will beits hard enough now, and I dont have a baby !!

*Stef,*
Im the same as youI HATE being the center of attention!! But it sounds like with him having a large family, you may not be able to get out of having some sort of ceremony. Hope it works out how youd like it to!! FX you caught the eggy!! Angels so rightsometimes we think too much about something. I am totally guilty of that myself!!

*JennC,*
Dont feel bad. I have been doing the SAME thing! Women I see in person, women I see on tv, I question whether they deserve their baby. I need to stop doing thatas a matter of fact, I will make that one of my new year resolutions!!

*Jenkb123,*
Like you said, it only takes one time, FX FX FX you caught the eggy! FX that you did actually o. Keep us posted, and I will wish the days away with you, and wish for next Weds to come quickly quickly and that you get your BFP!!! :dust:


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## vegasbaby

Jennc: Good luck this next month. Fx'ed for you!

Jasmine: Good for you for being able to feel someone else's bump. I even sort of backed away as I was hugging my pregnant SIL. Yeah, I'm still that warped. How are you enjoying your dh free time? How is he enjoying Vegas? 

Jenk: Hope you caught the eggy this month. OPK's can be so darn confusing. That is why I use the cheap ones and then once I think it is positive I also test with the smiley face test (that is super duper expensive). Luckily I have a lot of tests left. Keep us posted!

Meli: Thanks for saying Charlotte is cute. Do you want her? She hasn't slept through the night since before we left for vacation. Now she has a cold (as do I) and is waking even more (like waking at 2:30 and not going back to bed). I love her like crazy, but I love my sleep too! Being up with her so much reminds me of how hard it is to have a newborn. I was not a fan of the newborn phase. I know I shouldn't complain, but being a parent is hard, yet here I am wanting to do it all over again. You live in Valencia, CA and you can't grow a citrus tree? Isn't that where Valencia oranges are from? You can grow a small lemon tree in a large pot on your patio as long as you have a sunny spot for it. 

AFM: The nurse called and I am negative. I still have to go in for the next three weeks for blood draws and then once a month for six months. I was hoping they would just go directly to the monthly draws. As I've mentioned I have no intention of waiting the whole six months to TTC, but they can keep drawing as there is no guarantee I will get preggo before they stop testing. Heck, if I do get a BFP during the six months at least it means they will see what my levels look like, which is something they didn't do before (though my doctor in Vegas did check my hcg in the beginning with dd). 

Hope everyone has a nice weekend!


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## StefNJunk

angel2010 said:


> StefNJunk said:
> 
> 
> So I've gotten very confused. Tuesday night we dtd. Yesterday he said "Maybe I shouldn't have finished inside you last night, just in case." I think he's worried about the stress of moving and being preg, but I just don't want to wait :( Anyway, we dtd last night and he finished inside me again, without a word about it. :shrug:
> 
> I wouldn't worry all that much. I am sure you know he will be just as happy as you would be if you all got pregnant. We all get scared a little sometime. Sometimes we just think too much.Click to expand...




vegasbaby said:


> Stef: I'm sure he's just concerned about you, but I doubt he's over-thinking it.




Jasmineivy said:


> Stef, aww bless your oh, he sounds like a sensitive soul like my oh, I'm sure he'll come round by next week or that you can make him! Good luck!

You guys are probably right. He hasn't mentioned it again since. I know he's stressed out about all the house stuff, I think he's just worried about having me stressing while being pg and scared of something happening again.



Meli_H said:


> *Stef,*
> Im the same as youI HATE being the center of attention!! But it sounds like with him having a large family, you may not be able to get out of having some sort of ceremony. Hope it works out how youd like it to!! FX you caught the eggy!! Angels so rightsometimes we think too much about something. I am totally guilty of that myself!!

I'm absolutely guilty of thinking too much! Always and for pretty much everything! I also have a large family, but they are all 1000 miles away, so the only family that would be able to be there would be my parents and brother (which I'm completely fine with, I'm not very close with the rest of my family). Even his immediate family is large, though, so even if we did just parents / siblings and their OHs and kids... Counting ONLY his immediate family and mine, and our closest friends, we're up to... ugh I think over 3 dozen. *hides* I'm thinking Vegas wedding? :haha:

jenkb, :dust:

vegas, you handled that situation much better than I would have! I have yet to call the mgr at PP yet because I know I'm going to blow up!

I wanted to share a song I love love love that I heard for the first time in awhile yesterday, I can relate to it sometimes, especially right around the time of the mc. "Falling Off the Face of the Earth" by Matt Wertz https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jaN7AXwduQ


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## jennc

I am trying to work on the negative feelings but sometimes it's just automatic. I did post on facebook when I had my m/c. I found that everyone was really supportive. I think if women talked about it more, the healing process would be easier. That's why I joined this in the first place. We wouldn't keep it to ourselves if any other relative died so why should we keep it to ourselves when something so tragic as our baby dies. Even if it wasn't born, it was still a child and a member of the family. My husband worries that things like a memorial necklace or a website, or keeping things from my pregnancy aren't helpful but I think, like any loss, the more that it is talked about, the easier it actually is to deal with. He is of the mindset to just forget that it even happened, like his mom did with hers but I can't just forget that it happened whether I have something to remind me or not. I really think he does it because he wants to be strong for me but he doesn't seem to understand that I don't need him to be strong, I need him to be okay with me being sad. I still wonder what my baby would've looked like or whether it would've been a boy or girl. I'm not sure those thoughts are all that helpful but I don't think remembering my baby is a bad thing. There, I have vented for the day.

Jasmine- I'm sorry that ttc hasn't been going so well for you. I've always found it helpful to remember that God knows when that baby is supposed to be conceived. I actually wish that my doctor had never told me the signs that I was ovulating. Then I can truly let God do his job because Lord knows he is better at it than I am. It always helps too to just be honest with your husband. Even when mine doesn't like it, I tell him like it is. We are kind of a weird couple though. Most people find out they are pregnant, then tell their husband. Mine wanted to be there for the test and even woke up early to do so. He worries sometimes that we don't fight since studies show that relationships don't tend to last when the couple doesn't fight. I try to explain to him that we don't fight because we communicate and we are generally able to compromise before it gets to the fight stage. Nothing wrong with that. Make it easier on yourself and your hubby and just tell him whats going on. 

Stef- I know this might sound harsh but if I could give you any kind of wedding advice it would be elope. I really wish someone had told me exactly how stressful weddings can be. It turned my family really ugly too, especially my mom which was very surprising. I look back just the eight months ago it was and if I hadn't have picked out everything myself, I wouldn't have even remembered any of it. Because when it comes down to the day, your guy is the only thing you will care about. And it is just not worth the stress, on either of you or your ttc. 

All studies show that stress can negatively impact conception.

Vegas- I am so sorry about your vitamins. I am having the same problem with a pregnancy planning website that I had signed up for. I have unsubscribed too many times to count and yet every week I get a reminder of what my baby would be like in my belly without the mc. It makes it harder, knowing what might have been. My husband is the same way with the condoms but I am too. This is actually the first time in our five year relationship that we have actually had to use them and for both of us it sucks. Before too long though, it will work itself out.

I haven't bothered trying to track my ovulation because I'm not sure what it is really like after a mc. That may be why ovulation tests are hazy, your body may just be different than usual right now. Don't fret girls! I know it will happen for each of us. Putting too much stress on when may actually cause it to happen later than you want. Conceiving is actually the one thing that I can truly leave to God without worrying that I should be fixing it myself because it is truly the one thing that I really have ABSOLUTELY NO control over. I'm okay with that because I know God's plan for me and that is to have a child. When is really up to Him so it is something I know, I don't need to worry about. You guys shouldn't be worrying either, you should be praying. I'm sorry I had so much to say today. I didn't even think I had that much when I sat down at the computer today. Good thoughts are being sent everyone's way.


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## StefNJunk

jennc, oh believe me, I know! I was married once before, and it was A LOT. I don't care so much about the wedding itself as I did then, but I think that's because I just want to spend my life with him and don't care how that happens. With my last marriage, I knew in my heart before the wedding, and even at the wedding, that it wasn't right, but I went through with it anyway. This time, it doesn't matter to me if we do it at the courthouse, honestly. I can almost guarantee he's also going to want something small, since he hates being the center of attention as well.

I'm glad that everyone was supportive of you when you posted on Facebook. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I messaged a few people who I don't see in person (family that still lives where I grew up), and told everyone else except family through text. I hate the sympathy people give, I know they mean well, but it just makes it hurt more. My co-workers thought I missed work for a stomach bug, I was a few days from telling them I was pg (was waiting until 12 weeks) when I lost it. They knew about the last time and everyone was really nice and they got me a card and a plant, but it also was mentioned a few times after when they kept checking up on me. I appreciated it, I really did, but I just wanted to not be reminded at all.


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## angel2010

Vegas, sorry your appointment didn't go so well and that the pharmacy keeps screwing up. Hopefully you won't have to deal with it again. But great news on your results being neg, I don't think I would wait the whole 6 months either. I know what you mean about the condoms. Mine would rather go without than wear one.

Jasmine, it only takes once!

Jenk, fx that you ovulated and you get your bfp!!

Meli, Good luck with temping!

Stef, we started planning our wedding last Feb. Come April, I said forget it and we went to Florida in Aug without family and got married on the beach. The planning was just too stressful. The only advice I have is to make sure you get a good photographer.

Jenn, you are completely right about being open with miscarriages. If we all were it wouldn't be so hard. 

Afm, ff says that I ovulated, but I don't think I have. I guess we will find out in about a week and a half.:shrug: Nothing else new really. Tonight we are going out to dinner to an Irish pub. I have always wanted to try some Irish food, so I am hoping it doesn't disappoint.


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## vegasbaby

Jenn: You are absolutely right about how sometimes you just need your husband to understand that you are still sad and just be there for you. Our angel babies are a part of our families, we may not think about them all the time, but I don't think we can just forget either. I also agree about trusting in God to conceive. I was impatient this past time and I think He got His message across to me that it was not the right time. I just wish the message could have come through differently. My grandmother always said that timing is always off in life. I guess this means I just need to stop planning and go with the flow. Easier said than done!

Stef: Perhaps you could have a small wedding for just the two of you and then plan a reception for either later that day or perhaps even weeks or months after. My mom runs a wedding chapel and reception hall and she even tells the brides that it is not about the party it is about marrying the right person. She's had several brides who have gotten married elsewhere and then have a party later on. She's also seen weddings where a few people are invited to the ceremony and then everyone else is asked to join after for the reception. There are so many options you can choose from. Again, as long as you have the right person the rest does't matter. 

By the way, when we all get pregnant again, when do you plan on telling people? I swear if I could wait until I send out birth announcements I would do it. We had told our families at nine weeks this past time only because my in-laws were in town and we thought it would be obvious since I wouldn't be drinking. Once we told them my dh thought it was OK to start telling other people too. I never made a FB announcement, but more people knew than I would have liked.


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## angel2010

I want to wait until 12 weeks at least. I am a member of a moms group and we have a monthly mommy night. They all know I have a drink or two at them, so I will have to lie and say we are ttc so I don't have to tell them. I have AWFUL bloating from the start though, so I don't know. I really don't want to go through telling everyone about our loss if it were to happen again. Like Vegas, I would like to wait longer, but I know I won't be able to hold it in.


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## StefNJunk

angel, yeah, the photographs are definitely important to me, if we do anything other than courthouse.

vegas, those are thoughts, too. A friend of mine got married at the courthouse and had a casual "reception" in his mom's huge backyard that weekend with bbq and a water slide for the kids.

I WANT to wait 12 weeks this time, not sure that'll happen. It's just so difficult to keep it a secret, and he has an even harder time than I do.


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## jenkb123

I don't think I will wait to tell people when I get pregnant next time. My reason for this would be that if something went wrong again and we had another m/c I would want people to know. I would want to talk about it. When I got pregnant the first time we talked about waiting or telling people right away. We decided to tell people right away for that same reason. While it is awkward and tough to have to tell people about losing the baby it was harder for me to tell people about the m/c who didn't know I was pregnant to begin with. I wouldn't tell everyone, but close friends and family I would still tell right away. I have been pretty open about my struggles to get pregnant. When people I haven't seen for awhile ask me what is new or how things are going I find that my m/c is always on my mind. It feels so wrong to say to people that things are great or nothing new has happened since I saw them last. I know I will be worried about something happening and having my mom or my sister or my best friend to talk about what is going on will be helpful. I would also want their support if I had another m/c. I think its different for everyone. Some people would rather not talk about it. Since I have told my family and some of my friends about the m/c I have been shocked to hear how many people I know have also miscarried. It really is such a common thing and its so sad that so many people suffer without talking about it. If you lose a parent or a grandparent or anyone its ok to talk about it. It is sad that when you have a m/c it is such a taboo subject and people get so uncomfortable when you bring it up.


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## Meli_H

*Jasmine,*
I know youve posted about stupidly light af, and Ive experienced the same thing. The heavy flow has been cut in half-2 days instead of 4 days of real flow, not only that, I have not had af cramps that I am used to. Before my mc, I would have to take so many otc pain killers it was ridiculous, and I;ve already had 2 afs since mc and not once have the cramps been so bad to require painkillers. Thats weird. Another thing that Ive noticed is that after the first day of brown spotting, the flow changes to an orange/red color. Ive never noticed an orangey/red color before my mc. The next day flow is bright red and dark red, and then the next day, when the flow is starting to slow, it goes back to a red/orangey color. Really weird*anybody else notice the same (orangey red color)?*

*Vegas,*
You are so funny! Poor Charlotte (and you) not getting your sleep. Hope you both get better soon!!
Yes, I do live in Valencia, and Yes-you are correct when you say Valencia oranges are grown here. As a matter of fact, the growers used to mail all residents a package of oranges each seasoncome to think of it, its been at least 2-3 years since I remember receiving them. HEY! Were getting gypped lol~
On our 4th try of lemon trees: dh finally listened to me and left it in the pot we purchased it in. Now I need his help to transfer it to a pot I bought for it. We have stupid clay soil and its killed all my other lemon trees, even though Ive amended my soil to prepare it. If the stupid squirrels, raccoons and rabbits dont eat my garden, the clay soil kills it, so.I cant plant anything besides geraniums, rosebushes, and dianthus. I am so bored of them!!
Thats great news that your levels finally came back negative!! :happydance: Finally!!!
Afm, if/when I get pg again, Im not going to wait, like last time (although I did tell my mom, dad, brothers and sil, and mil right away). I cannot keep a secret so Im going to tell the whole world right away! To me, keeping it a secret til end of first trimester was more of a superstitious thing for me, and see how well it worked out for me last time,

*Stef,*
Vegas wedding sounds like a good idea! Theyve really come a long way in having nice and classy weddings in Vegas. Ive been to a couple and have been impressed. Its a great way of having a nice wedding, but keeping it small and more affordable. 

*JennC,*
My dh is the same way!! I can completely relate to when you said I really think he does it because he wants to be strong for me but he doesn't seem to understand that I don't need him to be strong, I need him to be okay with me being sad. 
Like you, I also wonder the same things, what my baby would've looked like or whether it would've been a boy or girl. I have to think that its normal, or else you, and I, and other women who feel the same thing would be certifiably crazy!

*Angel,*
Have fun at the pub tonight!!

*Jenkb,*
You make some very good points about telling people right away. My thoughts exactly!


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## StefNJunk

Meli, I didn't have the orangey red color with af, but I did have some with the mc bleeding itself. I asked my midwife about it, but she don't think she really knew what it was, said she didn't quite understand what I meant when I told her.

As for a Vegas wedding, I think it would be awesome, but may not be the best idea for OH. He likes Blackjack quite a bit, but he's not so great at it, lol.


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## Middysquidge

Hello everyone, happy Saturday \\:D/

Hello jenkb123, good to see you back! Yeah, I hate it when it's THE day and you have a row with OH, I hate having to suck up to them sometimes, the pressure gets too much for both if us! If only the egg stuck around longer than a day, fussy egg! Hope you managed to catch it this month though, it sounds like you're in a with a very good shot! It's difficult to gage those cheapie opks at the best of times!

Meli - Ha you're totally on the same level as me there with regads to keeping myself busy while oh is away! That's how I have been, it's been quite novel these first few days, I am missing him of course but it's also nice watching tashy tv (celebrity Big Brother, celebrity wedding planner, one born every minute) and eating what I want as we have total opposite tastes in food! I'll really start to miss him soon, he only been gone since Thursday! Managed to skype today though, it's great isn't it, skype! About AF, mine was brownish watery at first, hardly any and like 2 days of bright red, didn't see any orange? Not sure about that hun? I had hardly any cramps either, it was a poor attempt from the silly witch really.


Vegas - I petty much shocked myself feeling a pregnant belly, she didn't even offer I just felt it? It was only afterwards I kind of thought it was a bit strange and kind of upsetting but not half as bad as I would have thought! Have heard from OH today, he's pretty overwhelmed by it all, The Luxor has a roller coaster going around it he says! He's literally on his first day there so will be more to report soon! I'm soooo happy that you are negative now! Go you! :happydance: What you were saying about being happy for everyone on here when they get thei BFP, I feel like that too! I can't wait to see some BFPs on here! If I get mine I'll probably tell people at the 12 week mark but all of my family and close friends straight away this time as it was really awkward telling family I'd lost a baby when they didn't even know I was pregnant!

Stef - Thanks for sharing that song, it's really beautiful. My favourite song at the mo is 'Laura' by Bat for lashes, beautiful!

Jennc - That's so cute about your husband! I'm such a POAS addict, he'd get seriously bored with me, it wouldn't be special at all! I guess their is a romance about leaving ttc to chance but it's so hard even when it's all planned out, I'm totally too obssessive to do that! :haha:

Angel - I know what you mean about doubting ff, I'm doing that myself right now! It drives you nuts! How was the irish pub? What did you have? 

AFM - We managed to bd once on cd9 (after the failed attempt on cd8) and fertility friend tells me I ovulated on cd9! :happydance: Crazy though, I don't believe it but i had all the signs, positive opk, correct cm, so it's a slim chance as we only did it once but it was on the right day. FX girls! For all of us! Phewf, that was a long message! annnd breathe...


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## StefNJunk

Jasmine, I'll have to look that song up!

Got to go out with my friends last night for the first time in quite awhile. 9 of us went to dinner then across the street to the theatre to see Wicked. It was awesome! My ticket was an Xmas present from one of my friends and his partner. 

I got a call from my mom that put a smile on my face. I think I mentioned this in the June thread before the mc - she was able to tell me the day and time that I first got the BFP last time without having a clue. Today she called me and said she's had a strong feeling for the last few weeks - I'm going to tell her I'm pregnant in February. FX


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## Middysquidge

OMG Stef, that's so weird about your mum, my Aunty's like that! That's exciting, I hope she's right! I really want to see Wicked, I'm going to read the books on my Kindle next!

Here's my chart so far this month if anyone is interested!

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/ttc/index.php

It was probably too late by the time we managed to get a successful bd in but I'm still hoping!

x x x


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## angel2010

We didn't get to go to the pub. We had Carter, and I thought if we went for an early dinner, it would be okay. But it was way to bar-ish, so we went somewhere else. I have a certificate for that pub, so we will def be going back without Carter soon. 

Stef, that is awesome. FX!!


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## angel2010

Jasmine, your chart link isn't working, but would love to see it:)


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## Middysquidge

Doh! Does this one work:

My Ovulation Chart

I'm not too confident that I ovulated on cd9 the shift just isn't dramatic enough? What do you think? If I take out the cm on cd 8 and cd9 it takes the cross hairs out and i got more ewcm today?

Help! x x


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## angel2010

If it were my chart I would not think I ovulated. My temp shift is a bit more definitive, but I am still not sure.

Here is mine (if I did it right).My Ovulation Chart


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## angel2010

Also, your temps are still around what they were before o on your last chart. But I guess if I am going to go by that logic, then it is likely I ovulated already because my temps are what they were after o last chart.


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## Meli_H

*Stef,*
I know what you mean about dh liking blackjack, but not being good at it. Thats me lol!
But I only play with my mom, who is the blackjack expert and has crazy good luck. She throws me a couple $100 chips here and there to keep me in the game. Im telling ya, she is the blackjack boss LOL
Im glad you had a great time out with your friends. I totally want to see Wicked also..If we get to go to New York this year, I definitely want to catch it on Broadway.
Thats an exciting hunch from your mom!!! FX!

*Jasmine,*
When is dh coming back? Yes, Vegas is such a fun place..so many thing to see and do, even if you dont gamble! Too bad you and dd couldnt join dh there and make it a little vacay. 
FX you caught the eggy!! Wow, thats great luck. If you can only dtd one day, you did it on the best day!! I dont know anything about charting, but will start learning soon because Ill start temping tomorrow, but I still think you've got a great chance, it only takes once, right, and cant sperm live for at least a couple of days?

*Angel,*
Too bad your pub idea didnt work out this time, but thats another reason to get out and enjoy it in the future!! Cant let that certificate go to waste lol


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## Middysquidge

Angel - your ff has put crosshairs in though, so apparently you have ovulated? If you were me, would you just take out the cm information and see what ff does this month based on purely temps alone? It's more for research this month anyway cos we can't try but I want to get a clear idea of when it happens! Guess it will become clear in the next few days, I have the ewcm a lot today, dam I thought we got lucky this month but nevermind, have a hen weekend in London early Feb at least if I'm not pg I can get nice and merry!

Meli - good luck charting! I'm excited that things are getting back to normal for us all so we have chances of our bfps in the next coming months! x x


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## angel2010

Yeah, I know I have crosshairs. My body is just acting weird, it has not given any of the normal o signs I usually have. I even had them last cycle. That is why I was thinking maybe I hadn't yet. 

On yours, I would not do anything. Keep recording, if you get a better temp shift ff should update itself.


----------



## Middysquidge

I suppose though, the crosshairs on yours are dotted so even ff isn't sure? Who knows, I don't have a clue whats going on with mine atm! I used to have a 29 day cycle with ovulation on day 15, wonder if it will ever get to that again! I didn't realise it would adjust itself, I wonder why my crosshairs aren't dotted though, it's not a clear shift? Weird x


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## angel2010

Jasmineivy said:


> I suppose though, the crosshairs on yours are dotted so even ff isn't sure? Who knows, I don't have a clue whats going on with mine atm! I used to have a 29 day cycle with ovulation on day 15, wonder if it will ever get to that again! I didn't realise it would adjust itself, I wonder why my crosshairs aren't dotted though, it's not a clear shift? Weird x

Yours are solid because you have 2 signs that show o, your temps and cm. Mine are dotted because I don't have any cm to go with my temps. I normally have a 35 day or longer cycle. 

But lets hope ff is right on yours for now, so you still have a chance!


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## Middysquidge

Ahhh, thanks for clearing that up! x x


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## Meli_H

Vegas,
You mentioned earlier that you used mucinex when ttc. What cycle days do you take it?


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## angel2010

So I have finally told myself "we are trying next cycle for sure!". It's like I knew that was the plan, but it seemed so abstract i guess. Like it wasn't real. Not really sure how to explain it. Anyhow, finally went into the ttc sections and even posted a couple of times. Although my thyroid is normal, I will have to keep checking my levels and changing my meds to make sure I am getting the right about. I also have MTHFR, which is a gene mutation that increases my risk for clots and miscarriage. Last time I took baby asprin. I am unsure if my ob will settle with this or want me to take daily heparin injections. And tbh, I am not sure what I want to do. I hate to say this on here, because so many women struggle and I don't want to seem like I am bragging, but both times we got pregnant on the first try. Because of this I feel I need to be 100% ready for it to happen right away.


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## Middysquidge

Angel, my chart all changed today, got another low temp and a strong proper positive opk for the first time this cycle so I haven't ovulated yet you were right!

Soo, we are out this cycle and next cycle will be our first proper one too! What cd are you on of this cycle? We got pg first try ith both of ours too but obviously one didn't stick and there was another time where we tried like mad for 9 months and nothing happened then we decided it was the wrong time, so I've no clue how long it will take this time but hopefully not that long for all of us ladies on here!

x x x


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## vegasbaby

Hi everyone. Looks like I've missed a bunch over the weekend. 

Stef: I hope your mom is right. That would be so awesome. 

Jasmine: Sorry you don't think you ovulated last week when dh was home. Maybe you had a surge, but it just didn't go. I've heard of that happening. Maybe you ovulated more than once.

Meli: I just took the Mucinex on the days I got a positive OPK up until ovulation was confirmed. It thins the cm within a few hours. Just make sure you buy the one that only has the guaifenesin and not all the other ingredients you don't need (like a decongestant). I didn't take it the month I got pregnant as I was taking the month off from ttc (sorta). Perhaps I should have really taken that month off. 

Angel: I'm so happy to hear that you are ready to try again. I hope you do get your bfp right away. I got pregnant right away with Charlotte and wasn't really trying (other than going off the pill). With this last one it took nine cycles (11 months). I'm hoping when we try again it won't take as long, but I'm just going to go with the flow and not obsess (well, maybe a little).

AFM: Cycle day 41 and still nothing! I've been temping on and off as I know what my typical pre and post ovulation temps look like and so far there is no sign of ovulation either. I know this is normal, but I'm just hoping it comes and goes before I start my new job (so that gives me two more weeks).


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## jennc

I am going to tell immediate family because I want them all to come to church and pray with me that everything goes well this next time. Other than that, I'm going to keep it to myself until I can't really explain away the extra weight.


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## angel2010

Jasmineivy said:


> Angel, my chart all changed today, got another low temp and a strong proper positive opk for the first time this cycle so I haven't ovulated yet you were right!
> 
> Soo, we are out this cycle and next cycle will be our first proper one too! What cd are you on of this cycle? We got pg first try ith both of ours too but obviously one didn't stick and there was another time where we tried like mad for 9 months and nothing happened then we decided it was the wrong time, so I've no clue how long it will take this time but hopefully not that long for all of us ladies on here!
> 
> x x x

That stinks that you are out. It will make charting and watching your body that much easier next cycle though. When does your husband return? 
I am on cd 26. It looks like I will have a 32 day cycle instead of the normal 35 day. But that means three less days I have to wait to ttc.:thumbup:

Vegas, hope af gets here quickly. I said I wasn't going to obsess this time too. I haven't even officially started and I am obsessing!


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## Middysquidge

So when do you predict to ovulate in February then Angel? Mine will be like February 5th, sooo exciting :) I'm gonna be well and truly ready for it too! Hubby is back on Sunday around midday, can't wait for that either, feel like I am in very much a waiting phase right now, waiting for houses to come up, waiting for hubby, waiting for baby, guess it's exciting as it's all yet to come and not over and done with! 

Yeah, hope AF comes in time for new job Vegas at least you can plan a bit then, it's soo hard not to obsses, I actually enjoy obssesing a bit! Can't spell it though!

Meli - you sound like you're really arming yourself this month hehe! Can't wait to see some BFPs on here! x x


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## angel2010

I am going to guess that I will ovulate between the 30th and the 4th, depending on how long my cycle ends up being. So that would be between cd 17 and cd 22. I will probably start taking opks on cd 14. I will also start testing on 7dpo so that I can get and meds adjusted asap.


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## Meli_H

Angel,
Sounds like youre in a good place mentally and emotionally to ttc! GL! Hope your dr gets your meds adjusted properly asap!

Vegas,
Enjoy your next couple of weeks off before your new job starts. How exciting! FX that your cycle normalizes very soon!!

Jasmine,
Glad to hear that dh is coming back soon. Im sure you miss him!! 2-3 days of dh gone is enough for me..more than that and I dont know what to do with myself lol

Yes, I am arming myself this cycle. I am going to use softcups for the first time. The package was given to me about 2 years ago by one of my co-workers. I guess a few packages were distributed as promotional items in our office. I forgot all about them until I found them in my desk a couple of weeks ago, and thought, why not! I should o Jan 14, so you know this weekend will be full of bd :sex:


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## twilightgeek

can i join? my due date was supposed to be 6th june and lost him/her in october at 6 weeks and 6 days :/ still not over it and i want to try immediately but hey were waiting to be safe coz i couldnt go through it again!


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## Meli_H

'


twilightgeek said:


> can i join? my due date was supposed to be 6th june and lost him/her in october at 6 weeks and 6 days :/ still not over it and i want to try immediately but hey were waiting to be safe coz i couldnt go through it again!

Hi twilight,

Sorry to see u on this board, but welcome. There's a great group of supportive ladies here. I know what u mean, abt not being over it yet. I still think alot about my angel but try hard not to cuz it makes me cry. TMI alert.....when i mc, i kept some of the recognizable tissue and put it in the freezer.i didnt know what to do with it because it just felt so wrong to flush it or throw it away??...i wanted to bury in my garden but i just couldnt bring myself to do it.....this was since nov1, mind u...well, last weekend i finally got the strengthto do it. I bought a pretty box, and dh and i took turns digging a hole. He said some beautiful words(i could not speak because i was crying and i knew if i spoke i would just cry even more) so i just listened to his words and said my own to myself. I then put two decorative solar lights there, one is a flower and another is a hummingbird. 

I feel more at peace now, but tbh, the only thing keeping me sane at the moment is ttc. However, if i dont get pg soon, i may have to wait to ttc and donate portion of my liver to my uncle. We will see what happens and what is meant to be, will be. One day at a time.....

When do u plan on ttc?


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## vegasbaby

Welcome, twilight. So sorry for your loss. My loss was at the end of November and it does still hurt. I too feel anxious about trying again, but in my case I am not allowed to try for about six more months (though I don't think I'll wait that long). I'm hoping by the time I do try again some of this anxiety has gone and if/when I do become pregnant again I will be able to enjoy the pregnancy and not worry so much. I just keep telling myself that miscarriages do happen, they happen to more women than you would think, and most go on to have successful pregnancies. 

Meli: I'm glad to hear that you had a little ceremony for your angel and I hope it helps you get some closure. I still feel bad that we didn't have any sort of ceremony nor have I ever spoken to a priest about it. Feels like unfinished business. 

I had the strangest dream last night. In it my dd was in bed with me and so was another girl that in the dream was also my daughter. Charlotte was about the same age she is now and the other girl looked to be about 18 months old. I told them that they couldn't sleep with me and needed to go back to their beds, but I couldn't find the bed for the other girl. It was so strange, but they were both being so cute laughing and smiling. I have no idea what it means, but it made me sad knowing that it will be a long while before that scenario is even possible.


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## StefNJunk

Sorry you have to be here twilight, but it's definitely a helpful place to be, so many wonderful ladies here.

Meli, glad you got to have that closure. A big part of me wishes I was able to have that... I was so exhausted and emotional that day... I wasn't able to catch the sac / baby (which was all fully in tact) and couldn't bring myself to (and tmi moment coming now) sort through all the blood in the toilet. I'm still disgusted and horrified with myself that I flushed it all.

vegas, sounds like a good sign for the future to me!

Pretty sure I'm out for this month. Used some OPKs just to see if I'd be o'ing today when I thought, from yesterday's to today's, the line got lighter, so I think the minor cramping I had on Monday that I thought may have been gas was actually o'ing. I feel like I've been seriously out of tune with my body lately.

Just really sad today.

On a plus, the seller agreed to our requests for repairs, so we will be closing on the house on the 31st.


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## vegasbaby

Stef: Congrats on the house! That is great news! If you can, I'd still test again for the next few days. Sometimes your body gears up to ovulate and then doesn't, but will a few days later.


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## Middysquidge

Welcome Twilight, as everyone else has said I'm sorry you have to be here but we are all helping each other through this difficult time x I lost my baby November 22nd was due June 3rd, I have been ttc since but my oh is away for this month's go so we're going for it in February! It is important to be ready but like Meli, ttc has given me focus and taken my mind off it, so I'm glad I have been.

Meli, how lovely about your little memorial that is just lovely. I felt guilty after I had my d&c and I felt sorry for my little baby being in some hospital waste container, that made me really sad. So, as you went through that yourself it's nice that you have something to give you closure! Good luck with the bd weekend! DH will love it! You'll have to let s know how you got on with those soft cups!

How strange about your dream Vegas, don't be sad about it, maybe you are destined for two girls but it's saying that there wasn't room for them both in the exact present but will be in the very near future! How old is your Charlotte? My Eva is 3 now, as the months go by I get scared that the gap is getting bigger and in hindsight I would have ttc earlier but obviously had no idea, the setbacks I would face. We will get our second babys soon x 

Stef, sorry to hear you feel sad today. I feel sad today too, one of my uni friends announced her pregnancy on facebook, it hurt to see the scan picture on screen, looks like she'll be due just after mine would have been. I found it in me to congratulate her though, but it upset me a bit. Congrats on the house! We're about to go view a house for the second time on Monday when OH gets back, I'll update!

I've just bought some of those digital clearblue opks there was 20% off, I'm gonna use them alongside the cheapies next month. The cheapies are pissing me off. I got a very near positive this month on cd9 which caused me a lot of emotional strain that I didn't need and a big crying fit! I would much rather know for definite if I'm having my surge! As it turns out I am now and not on cd9! Roll on next month! One born every minute on tonight in the UK, can't wait! 

How are you feeling Angel? And the two Jenns? x x


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## Meli_H

*Vegas, Stef & Jasmine,*

Yes, I am hoping the ceremony helps me with more closure. Ok-another TMI warning: TBH, I wasnt even thinking of a future ceremony when I sorted through the toilet and bloody water. At that point, I was on a robotic/mechanical setting-kind of dazed, but trying to be methodical and logical. I guess that was my coping mechanism...I was thinking more along the lines of ok, the ER dr, or my dr will ask me what, exactly, passed, they may even want to test the tissue so I thought of saving it for that reason. Once I realized they didnt feel the need to see it or test it, it was already in freezerand then I didnt want to flush it or throw it awayI really think that had I not been in that mechanical defensive mode, there is no way in he** that I would have sorted through the toilet

*Vegas,*

Your dream sounds very interesting. Im not a good interpreter of dreams, unless they are really obvious ones (like falling down, or teeth falling out, etc), but I love Jasmines beautiful interpretation of it, and it makes sense to me! Dont be sad..it wont be too long before that scenario is possible. Here we are, almost halfway through January! Youll be starting your new job soon, and that will take up so much of your energy and time, that you wont even believe when Mar-April (your target ttc time) arrives!

*Stef*

Thats great news that the seller agreed to the repairs! YAYYY :happydance: Thats certainly a BIG plus! The whole process of this new house will also help to take your mind off of this ttc business!

Sorry to hear you missed your o, but Vegas is right-maybe your body geared up to o, but didnt, and will try again soon to o. You should keep testing. Before my mc, I used to get pos opks on cd12 or cd13. After my mc, pos opks came up cd14 and cd15. This month, I plan to start using the opks starting cd10, up until I o, then even for a few days after, just to make sure that the first pos opks werent failed o tries. *I dont plan on letting that sneaky fussy egg escape this month *LOL, not if I can help it!

Try not to be sad but I know its easier said than done

*Jasmine,*

I will let definitely let you guys know how the softcups workIm still not convinced my body is ready to conceive, I keep getting brown spotting outside of af, brown spotting that Ive never seen before (but then again, the sad truth is that before my mc, I had never ever been in tune with my body--besides the basic keeping track of my cycles and af). I suspect the spotting is a result of my hormones still being out of whack due to the mc, BUT thought I would still go all out to ttc and see what happens. If the spotting continues for another cycle or two, Ill go see my dr about it..i know right now she would just say its normal. 

GL on the house youre going to view next week with OH! How exciting.a new place to live, new fresh start!

I hear those digital clearblue opks are awesome, GL with them! 

*JennC*

I like your plan of your family going to church with you to pray when you get your BFP- I may just copy you, if you dont mind! 

*Afm*,

last night was my first day back to the gym for my cardio class. It kicked my booty!! I have gained so much weight its pathetic. I think my dad is at the point of staging an intervention for me due to this weight gain LOL! I need to be patient to lose the weight-I didnt gain it in 30 days, Im sure I cant lose it in 30.I am trying to return to my old workout routine, but find it so hard to stay motivated. I will keep trying.behavioralists say that if you keep at something for 90 days, it becomes a habit, right? So I need to hang in there for at least these 90 days consistently and hope it becomes a habit again, like it used to be!!

*Sounds like everyone is sad todayBIG HUGS TO EVERYONE!*


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## vegasbaby

Jasmine: Charlotte will be three on February 18th. I forget that they don't show all the extra ticker info on the miscarriage boards. I really liked the gap I would have had if this last baby had worked out (I was due June 2nd, so you and I are at almost the exact same spot with age gaps). I did try earlier as I went off the pill in November 2011, but it just took awhile. How is your dh enjoying his trip? I bet he is tired and ready to come home. My dh just got approved for a trip to Vegas for early next month. He is going to a conference and then checking in on our house. I wish I could go too, but with the new job that won't be possible. I always check the cheap OPKs with the expensive ones when I think I have a positive. You can't deny the smiley face, but those lines sure can trick you. Like you it was just too confusing and disappointing using the cheap ones by themselves. I got my bfp the second month I used both the cheap and expensive OPKs together so I believe it works. Fingers crossed for you in February. 

Meli: I think I would have saved the tissue for the same reason. I bought a new scale and boy was it an eye-opener! I went to a bootcamp class last week and I was sore for three days after. I've had a cold and haven't been able to go since then, but I did run yesterday and it felt good. I blame the holidays and a bit of depression for the weight gain, but like you I am determined to get back into shape. I even ran 3-4 days a week while I was pregnant, but December was just not a good month for physical fitness.


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## angel2010

Meli, I am happy to hear you were finally able to bury your angel. It sounds like your ceremony was lovely and glad it helped to bring you some peace. Good luck with the weight loss. I am also trying to lose a few and it is so hard! Also,good luck with the :sex: this weekend.

Twilight, You can certainly join, although I am sorry you have to. I too was due on June 6th. My baby's heart stopped at 8+3 and was passed at 10+1. I would certainly say I am not over it. I cried a little about it last night. I don't know that we will ever be over it, and I am sure will be quite a while before a tear never comes to our eyes. Have you decided when you will try again? 

Stef, Congrats on the house!! I am also disgusted and horrified with myself over my baby being flushed. I actually felt nauseous typing it. I rarely thing about it, like if I don't think about it, it never happened. I am certain though that our baby's would forgive us and that God would as well. What stinks, is in my case, I could clearly see my baby and it is the last image my mind has.
I am sorry that you missed o this cycle. FX for next cycle though!

Jasmine, I am sorry the ICs were crap for you! I hope the Clearblues work out better.

Vegas, I think Jasmine is right in her interpretation.:hugs:

AFM, my cycle is SO different this month. At first I thought I hadn't ovulated, then based on my temps I decided I would go with ff and say I ovulated on cd 18. Based on that, I thought I would get af in about 4-5 days. Well I got it today. My regular cycle is 35 days, so a 27 day cycle is way short for me. Earlier in the month I had swollen fingers (o sign for me) and some ewcm and I told Jeff about it and thought it was strange. I told him, surely I am not ovulating, it is way to early. I actually forgot to temp the two mornings in question and later just put it out of my mind, thinking no way. I have no idea what to expect next cycle.:shrug: I guess I will start using opks on cd 10. This means that ttc is that much closer and tbh, it kind of freaks me out. Every time I think I am okay with the thought of ttc something about it worries or scares me.

My Ovulation Chart


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## Meli_H

*Vegas, *
Like you, I also blame the holidays and slight depression due to the mc for my weight gain. Although, tbh, I did stop doing the cardio class when I was about 6 weeks along--I was just so tired all the time (but I know that&#8217;s no excuse)!! I did keep doing my regular walking sessions with dh and stepson, but that intensity is nowhere near the cardio class. Then, at ten weeks along I finally got the motivation to go back to the cardio class, and 2 days later I had my mc. Weird, huh!! Logically, I know the class had nothing to do in causing my mc, but, a small part of me will always wonder. It&#8217;s just so coincidental!
I don&#8217;t even have to get on my scale to know I gained weight--I can tell by how my clothes fit (or rather, DON&#8217;T fit!!) I was determined to not buy any &#8216;fat&#8217; clothes, but had to give in and buy some larger size work clothes (2 pairs of pants and 3 shirts) because I was so uncomfortable--not to mention the size of my boobs with this weight gain making me look indecent with shirt buttons popping open LOL). But, I am determined to not buy any more larger clothes and just work on losing this weight. Hopefully these new clothes, along with some work clothes I already had that were larger size, will tide me over until I can lose some weight..
*I am sooooo impressed*--that&#8217;s awesome that you kept up your habits and *ran*, not walked, while you were preggo! GL with getting rid of your few pounds!

*Angel,*
GL with your weight loss plans! Sorry you missed your o. Does that mean that you didn&#8217;t BD when you noticed the swollen fingers and some ewcm? Rats if you didn&#8217;t DTD!! 
I just started temping this week and I don&#8217;t know how people can use just FF. Maybe because it&#8217;s the first month temping and I have to get used to it and to reading my cm signs etc, but I would probably miss my o too if it wasn&#8217;t for the opks I am using&#8230;
I know what you mean about the thought of ttc worries and scares you. I&#8217;m not there yet--I&#8217;m just trying to concentrate on getting preggo--BUT I know that once I do catch the egg, I will totally be a nervous wreck throughout the whole pg. Unfortunately, I think we are all in the same boat, and we&#8217;ll all strive to keep negative thoughts away and keep ourselves thinking positive.

BTW, I was driving home from my grandmother&#8217;s 89th birthday lunch on Dec 30, and I saw this beautiful rainbow in the horizon. It was the brightest and largest rainbow I&#8217;ve ever seen in person (not photographs). As I drove closer, the colors got deeper and brighter. I did a very bad thing--I took a picture while I was driving (_I am so against texting and driving, believe me_!) but I saw this as a sign and just HAD to take this picture. It seems like my picture captured more of the freeway road than the rainbow, mountains or sky, but remember that I was driving freeway speeds and couldn't be too picky about the framing, context, etc lol! Y'all just have to take my word that it was amazingly beautiful, with a break in the rain and the sky opening up from the stormclouds with blue skies interspersed..it truly was a glorious view.

*I hereby deem this as our sign for 2013: rainbow babies coming to us very soon! Maybe not this month, or next month, but each and everyone one of us WILL have our rainbows in 2013!*​
 



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## jennc

twilightgeek said:


> can i join? my due date was supposed to be 6th june and lost him/her in october at 6 weeks and 6 days :/ still not over it and i want to try immediately but hey were waiting to be safe coz i couldnt go through it again!

Welcome to the group. It sucks that you have to be here but welcome anyhow. When are you waiting til? I had my miscarriage on Black Friday. My husband and I have to wait until the middle of February to try again. It sucks but I know the desire to do everything in your power to make it not happen again.


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## jennc

Meli_H said:


> '
> 
> 
> twilightgeek said:
> 
> 
> can i join? my due date was supposed to be 6th june and lost him/her in october at 6 weeks and 6 days :/ still not over it and i want to try immediately but hey were waiting to be safe coz i couldnt go through it again!
> 
> Hi twilight,
> 
> Sorry to see u on this board, but welcome. There's a great group of supportive ladies here. I know what u mean, abt not being over it yet. I still think alot about my angel but try hard not to cuz it makes me cry. TMI alert.....when i mc, i kept some of the recognizable tissue and put it in the freezer.i didnt know what to do with it because it just felt so wrong to flush it or throw it away??...i wanted to bury in my garden but i just couldnt bring myself to do it.....this was since nov1, mind u...well, last weekend i finally got the strengthto do it. I bought a pretty box, and dh and i took turns digging a hole. He said some beautiful words(i could not speak because i was crying and i knew if i spoke i would just cry even more) so i just listened to his words and said my own to myself. I then put two decorative solar lights there, one is a flower and another is a hummingbird.
> 
> I feel more at peace now, but tbh, the only thing keeping me sane at the moment is ttc. However, if i dont get pg soon, i may have to wait to ttc and donate portion of my liver to my uncle. We will see what happens and what is meant to be, will be. One day at a time.....
> 
> When do u plan on ttc?Click to expand...

When my dad died, we buried his ashes underneath an evergreen tree that I decorate for Christmas each year. Just an idea or plant some flowers there so you can see them grow and know that your baby is thinking of you as much as you are thinking about him/her.


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## jennc

StefNJunk said:


> Sorry you have to be here twilight, but it's definitely a helpful place to be, so many wonderful ladies here.
> 
> Meli, glad you got to have that closure. A big part of me wishes I was able to have that... I was so exhausted and emotional that day... I wasn't able to catch the sac / baby (which was all fully in tact) and couldn't bring myself to (and tmi moment coming now) sort through all the blood in the toilet. I'm still disgusted and horrified with myself that I flushed it all.
> 
> vegas, sounds like a good sign for the future to me!
> 
> Pretty sure I'm out for this month. Used some OPKs just to see if I'd be o'ing today when I thought, from yesterday's to today's, the line got lighter, so I think the minor cramping I had on Monday that I thought may have been gas was actually o'ing. I feel like I've been seriously out of tune with my body lately.
> 
> Just really sad today.
> 
> On a plus, the seller agreed to our requests for repairs, so we will be closing on the house on the 31st.

I felt alot of regret for not keeping something too. I decided on the D&C and then afterwards I felt terrible for not seeing it but then I saw a picture on pinterest of a six week old embryo in the palm of it's mother's hand and I broke down completely even then. It hurt so much to know that that was how small my little baby was. I don't know if I would've been able to handle seeing it. But I definitely can relate to the just overwhelming feeling of regret.



Meli_H said:


> *Vegas, Stef & Jasmine,*
> 
> 
> *JennC*
> 
> I like your plan of your family going to church with you to pray when you get your BFP- I may just copy you, if you dont mind!
> 
> I'd be honored if you copied my idea. Even though miscarriages are not common on my side of the family, my family was and actually always has been very supportive. I think they all wanted my to have a baby as much as I did.


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## jennc

I have lost some quotes somewhere. I'm just starting to get the hang of multi-quote responses. 

Vegas- You may want to consider talking to your priest. My church prayed for me the day I was in the hospital and every Sunday since someone has either prayed with me or for me. A priest can also help remind us all that God took our angels out of mercy, for us or for our angels. A priest can also help us keep in mind the wonderful plan that God has for each of us. I swear somedays that the only thing that helps me get out of bed in the morning. I have been having a lot of days like that lately. Not just dealing with the loss but other life stresses too. I can't even imagine how bad I would be doing right now if I didn't know God was on my side.

I'm sorry everyone for all the religious talk, it's just the only thing that helps me deal with it all. Especially when I'm stressed it comes out because that's when I need to remind myself of it the most. I haven't been checking the site everyday because it seems like everytime I get on here, the tears just come and sometimes I can't get them to stop. My stepsister today was telling me to enjoy my time with my husband since we just got married last May. But at the same time, it's really easy for her to say, she's been with her guy for only about a year, she just had a baby in August, and she is just turned 21 this year. My husband and I have been together for over five years, I'm going to be 30 this year, and we don't even have one child yet. What my family doesn't understand is that they all have these regrets of not taking more time because they all had their children before they were 23. I guess I'm just afraid and always have been, that I won't be able to have children. I just want it so much and I know that there can be complications after 30 and we haven't had the best luck so far. I think I have ranted enough for one night. I will be praying good things for all of us.


----------



## jennc

StefNJunk said:


> Sorry you have to be here twilight, but it's definitely a helpful place to be, so many wonderful ladies here.
> 
> Meli, glad you got to have that closure. A big part of me wishes I was able to have that... I was so exhausted and emotional that day... I wasn't able to catch the sac / baby (which was all fully in tact) and couldn't bring myself to (and tmi moment coming now) sort through all the blood in the toilet. I'm still disgusted and horrified with myself that I flushed it all.
> 
> vegas, sounds like a good sign for the future to me!
> 
> Pretty sure I'm out for this month. Used some OPKs just to see if I'd be o'ing today when I thought, from yesterday's to today's, the line got lighter, so I think the minor cramping I had on Monday that I thought may have been gas was actually o'ing. I feel like I've been seriously out of tune with my body lately.
> 
> Just really sad today.
> 
> On a plus, the seller agreed to our requests for repairs, so we will be closing on the house on the 31st.

 Awesome news about the house. Congrats


----------



## jennc

angel2010 said:


> Stef, Congrats on the house!! I am also disgusted and horrified with myself over my baby being flushed. I actually felt nauseous typing it. I rarely thing about it, like if I don't think about it, it never happened. I am certain though that our baby's would forgive us and that God would as well. What stinks, is in my case, I could clearly see my baby and it is the last image my mind has.
> I am sorry that you missed o this cycle. FX for next cycle though!
> 
> 
> 
> My Ovulation Chart

I am so sorry that that is your last image. I know I wouldn't have been able to handle that.


----------



## jennc

Meli_H said:


> *Vegas, *
> 
> BTW, I was driving home from my grandmothers 89th birthday lunch on Dec 30, and I saw this beautiful rainbow in the horizon. It was the brightest and largest rainbow Ive ever seen in person (not photographs). As I drove closer, the colors got deeper and brighter. I did a very bad thing--I took a picture while I was driving (_I am so against texting and driving, believe me_!) but I saw this as a sign and just HAD to take this picture. It seems like my picture captured more of the freeway road than the rainbow, mountains or sky, but remember that I was driving freeway speeds and couldn't be too picky about the framing, context, etc lol! Y'all just have to take my word that it was amazingly beautiful, with a break in the rain and the sky opening up from the stormclouds with blue skies interspersed..it truly was a glorious view.
> 
> *I hereby deem this as our sign for 2013: rainbow babies coming to us very soon! Maybe not this month, or next month, but each and everyone one of us WILL have our rainbows in 2013!*​

I don't know about everyone else but thank you so much for that!!:hugs:


----------



## twilightgeek

I'm waiting till October so then baby would be due after university is finished :/ but i'd much rather still be eggo preggo right now


----------



## jenkb123

Hello Everyone!! I just finished writing a long post and before I could send it I hit the wrong key and it flipped screens and my post disappeared. Grr!! 

I hope everyone is doing well. It's been a little while since I have posted. 

Angel - Glad to hear you are officially ttc again next month. I know what you mean about trying not to obsess and let it consume your life. I struggle with that too. 

Vegas - I hope that your af comes soon!! It would be great if you could get it over with before you start your new job.

Meli - I hope you catch that egg this month!! It sounds like you have a great plan! I had never heard of softcups before coming to this site. I hope they work for you!! I love what you guys did for your baby. It is lovely to have a spot where you can have a tribute and a memory of your baby. I wasn't able to find anything that I could save (although I did try). I would have liked to do something similar. 

I too am trying to get back to my gym routine. Pregnancy, miscarriage and Christmas have all gotten me way out of my routine.

Love the rainbow picture!! Thanks for sharing it with us. 

Twighlightgeek - Welcome!! Like the others I am very sorry that you had to join us. I have found the women on this thread to be very supportive. Somehow it just makes it a little easier to talk to other people that are going through the same things!!

Stef - I am so excited for you about the house!! When will you move in?? I am sorry that you think you missed your o this month. I have never really had any success with opk's myself. This month I got a bunch of almost positives and it went white. I don't know if I just missed the positive or if I just didn't o. Not knowing is very frustrating!! 

Jasmine - I hope the digital opk's work better. Let us know if you like them. I really feel like the cheapies I have were useless this month so I might get digitals for next time. I am so glad that I will be able to get tracking scans next month. It takes away that uncertainty and does eliminate some of the stress of not knowing when/if things are happening. 

Jennc - It can be so frustrating to see others around us getting pregnant and having babies so easily while we are going through struggles and losses. I truly believe that it will happen for all of us. The timing may not be under our control but as you said, we are not the ones who decide when the timing is right. We may not understand it but we just have to trust that things will work out the way they are meant to. 

As for me. I am still waiting for af. CD 33 for me today. I think I am 14 or 15dpo (if I even o'd this month). Bfn yesterday. I have been having a lot of weird pains/cramps the last few days and keep expecting af every time I go to the bathroom but nothing yet. Still hopeful but I have a feeling I am out this month. 

Some good news. I got a new job yesterday. I start Monday. Its part time but it is in my field. I was laid off back in June so I have been off for awhile. I am quite excited to get back to work. New year, new job, next step.....new baby!! I agree with Meli - 2013 will be our year!!


----------



## Meli_H

*Jennc,*

Thats a great idea. I think I will plant something-maybe a rosebush, that should be pretty hardy in our horrible clay soil. That's beautiful that you decorate your evergreen tree each year. Thats a lovely tribute to your father.

Speaking for myself: dont be sorry for the religious talk! I am not offended, if anything its the opposite; it warms my heart and reminds me of my beliefs and my reality. I do tell myself the same things, but its always helpful to hear it from others. 

Im sure your stepsister does have good intentions, but, well, I think we can all agree that unless someone has walked in our shoes, its easy for us to think they dont know what theyre talking about/they have no right. At least, I know that I find myself thinking that. 

I know what you mean about more pressure to conceive since youre turning 30 y/o soon, I turned 40 August 2012 (although I'm a HUGE 10 years ahead of you, I do KNOW what youre talking about lol!). Just stay positive that it WILL happen for you, on Gods schedule, not yours

*Jennkb,*

GL on getting back to your gym routine! 

Your symptoms sound promising - especially if youve never felt those weird pains/cramps before! Maybe you did o but just had a bad batch of opks! Lets stay positive that this IS your month. :dust: Keep us posted!!

Congrats on your new job! How excitingnow both you and Vegas are both starting new job :happydance:


----------



## angel2010

Meli, beautiful picture, and you are right 2013 will be our year!!! As for my last cycle, we weren't trying yet so missing o was no biggie. I was just very shocked at how short my cycle was.

Jennc, I am sure no know is bothered by your religious talk. If it helps you, then feel free. I hope that Feb is your month!

Jenk, Congrats on the new job! I will keep my fingers crossed for you this cycle, but if you get af I will be right there with you next cycle.

I know a few of us had a really light first af, I wanted to let you all know that my second one was not light. Not bad or anything, but if you were worried about your linings, I wouldn't be. Although the cramps aren't bad, I am pretty sure it is actually heavier than normal. Nothing else going on here, waiting for af to stop and debating in my mind whether to buy some cheapie okps or try a more ntnp this cycle. If we don't try or get it this cycle, we will wait until April to try again. It sounds silly, but I really don't want a Thanksgiving or Christmas baby.


----------



## vegasbaby

So I totally wrote this whole post that I thought posted yesterday, yet I don't see it. Strange. Anyway......

Jenn: You say whatever you want on here. I am happy to hear about religious things as it means that there is an afterlife where our babies are happy and healthy and that one day we will be able to meet them. 

Meli: What a beautiful rainbow and symbol for us all. 

Jenk: Hooray for the new job!

Angel: I feel the same way about not wanting to have a baby around a major holiday. I even think that my dd's b-day is too close to the holidays and she was born mid-February. Of course this means I would have to wait until June to try for anything later than her b-day (she was supposed to be a March baby).

AFM: Fertility friend has finally confirmed that I O'd on Thursday. I am now on CD 47, and expect af somewhere around the first day of my new job (of course). Anyone doing anything fun this weekend? We're not.


----------



## StefNJunk

jenkb123 said:


> Stef - I am so excited for you about the house!! When will you move in?? I am sorry that you think you missed your o this month. I have never really had any success with opk's myself. This month I got a bunch of almost positives and it went white. I don't know if I just missed the positive or if I just didn't o. Not knowing is very frustrating!!
> 
> Some good news. I got a new job yesterday. I start Monday. Its part time but it is in my field. I was laid off back in June so I have been off for awhile. I am quite excited to get back to work. New year, new job, next step.....new baby!! I agree with Meli - 2013 will be our year!!

We close on the 31st, so we'll be starting moving everything after that. We have the house we're renting until the end of February, so that gives us time to get some of the work done we need to do first. And not knowing is VERY frustrating! OPKs worked great for me last time, but this time the same brand looks different, and I'm wondering if they're a bad batch because the control line was even very light every time. Congrats on the new job! I'm looking for one myself, since the new house is an hour drive from mine and I don't make it enough for that to be worth it!

Meli, great pic and great thought. This WILL be our year.

So completely unexpected and it may be nothing, but I TOTALLY had EWCM yesterday. Was I wrong about o'ing earlier? Maybe? I didn't get any more OPKs, so I'm not sure. If this EWCM isn't lying, there may still be a chance this month since we got to bd last night. Trying not to over think it or get my hopes up too much!

EDIT >> Completely forgot to mention that Thursday night I had a dream that I had a blazingly positive OPK result, so the EWCM on Friday was even more surprising.


----------



## Middysquidge

Hi Everyone, feels like ages since I've had the chance to catch up with you all but I've been popping in to read your messages, it seems I have a lot less time when OH is away! He's back now though, sleeping on the sofa, jet lag, bless him!

Meli - I bet the spotting is nothing to worry about hun. Probably just your cycles getting back to normal. I had a really nasty bout of thrush (tmi) this week, the worst I've ever had and the doc reckons it could have been the surgery. My af and ovulation is totally different, cd 17 this month but I'm hoping for a good heavy af this month then all systems go! I'm glad you managed to work out, now OH is back I plan on going running again. I need to get fighting fit! What cd you on now? I also wanted to say thanks for the rainbow picture and the positive spirit! I love it!

Vegas - That's exactly the same as me, a baby in June would have been perfect for us in terms of the age gap but it wasn't to be! Now it'smlooking more like a November/December baby at the earliest same as our other LO but I'm sue you'll understand that we'll be grateful for a baby any month any gender now :) Oh seems to have had a good time in Vegas, once the show started and he got into the swing of it he liked it but he is happy to be home, he is a homebird and always will be. Like you I wish they would let the other halfs go to but nope! It's encouraging that you caught the second month you used the clearblue digis now, looks like we all should be pros at these opk malarkies now eh! I managed to get another box going cheap with a short date so I'm sacking off the cheapies once I get to my expected peak time! I so wish it was March/April so that you were trying too but I guess it will come round and no doubt I'll still be here trying! Also, congrats on ovulating finally, cd 47 phewf! Typical that AF will likely come first day of new job, that was like me getting it Christmas Day! Bloody witch!

Angel -I totallu get what you mean about the cycles being eally all over the place. Before this I was so scary regular I don't like it now! You're ttc ths month now arent you? Earlier than expected? Good luck chicken! Thanks for waht you said about second AF, I'm about to get my second one and found that really reassuring! It doesn't sound silly to avoid certain times of year to have a baby, it sounds very sensible actually! I'm just far too impatient to think like that! x x x


Jennc - dont you worry for a second about the religious talk, I'm not a believer myself but my oh always says it's good to have faith and itcertainly helps you through a tough time, it's only thinking positively, I wish you all the best. I'm sorry that you are still feeling really tearful but don't worry that 30 is too old to concieve is sooo isn't! I know it's hard cos you haven't got a baby but you will, my mum had twins at 44 and my OH's mum was 44 when she had him! You're still young try not to stess yourself out x 

Twilight - awww I know what you mean about waiting, I was waiting all spring and summer last year, me and my sister wee going to try at the same time but now she already has a 3 month old and I'm still waiting, grrrrr , but it has to be right x

Jenk - Congrats on the new job sweetie! That is really great news! Well done! I bet you get a BFP now, so it all gets hectic! Also, good luck with ttc, I will let you know how I find the digis, hopefully it won't be long till we all have some BFPs! 

Stef - I have everything crossed that this month is your month, new hosue, new baby, new house, new baby! I'll be thrilled to see a BFP on here! Go Stef!!!!

AFM - Just looking forward to next month, have OH back now, clearblue digis, house viewing tomorrow and raring to go! I was thinking I would quite like to say that I am following ladies from the June baby Angels thread in my sigi, I know it's cheesy but I've become so fond of you all and really would be happy if any of you got a BFP! Would anyone object to their name being in my siggy with a flashing BFP thing next to it when they get it? No worries either way! 

Big hugs everyone x x


----------



## Megan1986

How is everyone doing? I have been pretty MIA lately. Waiting to test on Jan 31


----------



## jenkb123

Vegas - Glad to hear you finally o'd!! The timing isn't ideal but at least you aren't still waiting and wondering!! Are you getting excited to start your new job?? My first day is tomorrow. I am pretty excited! 

Angel - I know what you mean about birthdays/holidays. I definitely would prefer not to have a Nov/Dec baby. Between the holidays and tons of other birthdays it is already a crazy time. Since it took us so long to get pregnant the first time and I have no idea how long it will take this time I won't stop trying if it doesn't work out this time or Feb. Fx'ed that February is your month so you don't have to wait longer!! 

Meli - I will keep you guys posted for sure. Still waiting. If af doesn't come before Tuesday I will test again. Didn't test today and I won't test tomorrow. Bfn on Saturday. Currently cd35 somewhere around 16dpo.

Stef - Moving into your new house will be so exciting!! You planned it well. Having that month to get things ready and move things more gradually will be so much less stressful. Good luck finding a closer job!! That sounds like it could be a bad batch of opk's. It is so hard to know if there is something wrong with the opk's or something wrong with ovulation. 

Jasmine - Glad to hear your OH is back!! I would not object at all to you putting that info in your siggy. We are like a little family in this group!! I am so glad I found you guys :) I hope we all get our flashing bfp's this year!! Hope the house you are viewing is nice! Since Vegas and I both got new jobs (and Stef is going to get one) you and Stef should both get new houses!! 

Megan - Welcome back. Fx'ed for you this month!! :)

As for me....I better get to bed!! I start at 8am tomorrow and I am not a morning person so I better not stay up too late!!


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## vegasbaby

Stef: I agree with Jenk, having a whole month to move really will make the move a more positive experience. It will give you time to move things into the right place the first time as opposed to just cramming it all in and sorting it out later. Not sure what is going on with your OPK's but it looks like you've got it covered with the bd'ing. 

Jasmine: Glad your dh is home so you two can get down to business. Good luck with your home search, I hope you find something you love. By all means, include us in your siggy. I can't see it while in these boards, but we sure can in the TTC and baby boards (where I know we will all be pretty soon). 

Megan: How exciting that you will be testing at the end of the month. We are still looking for our first bfp so let us know! 

Jenk: Good luck with your first day of work today. I'm pretty sure that my first week of work is going to be awful with regards to getting up, getting ready and getting out the door. Since my dh leaves really early for work this means I am responsible for the dogs and my dd in the mornings and since I haven't worked for three years the dogs and child are not used to being rushed. Let us know how it went. 

Nothing to report today. I guess you could say I've started my diet and now all I can do is think about food.


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## angel2010

Welcome back Megan!! Good luck this month!! So are you about to O soon, or do you normally have a longer lp?

Vegas, good news on finally Oing!!

Jenk, Hope you have a great day today and you love it! I also hope you get your bfp faster this time!

Stef, I hope you caught O!

Jasmine, because af came 8 days before I expected it, we are ahead of schedule. I am happy to hear your oh had a good time! I don't mind at all if you use my name, and I am sure none of the other ladies will either. I may do the same!


Afm, since af came early I am now expecting to o sometime between the Jan 21st and the end of the year. I have no idea what to expect from my cycle this time. I have decided not to use opks. I am even still iffy on whether we will actually try. If we do, I will just go by cm or try to bd every other day between the 21st and 1st. I can't believe that if I have another short cycle, and I o on the 21st or 22nd, I could possibly get a bfp in Jan! I really wasn't expecting to try until Feb.


----------



## StefNJunk

Jasmineivy said:


> AFM - Just looking forward to next month, have OH back now, clearblue digis, house viewing tomorrow and raring to go! I was thinking I would quite like to say that I am following ladies from the June baby Angels thread in my sigi, I know it's cheesy but I've become so fond of you all and really would be happy if any of you got a BFP! Would anyone object to their name being in my siggy with a flashing BFP thing next to it when they get it? No worries either way!
> 
> Big hugs everyone x x

I wouldn't mind at all, I think that's an awesome idea! How did the house viewing go?



jenkb123 said:


> Stef - Moving into your new house will be so exciting!! You planned it well. Having that month to get things ready and move things more gradually will be so much less stressful. Good luck finding a closer job!! That sounds like it could be a bad batch of opk's. It is so hard to know if there is something wrong with the opk's or something wrong with ovulation.




vegasbaby said:


> Stef: I agree with Jenk, having a whole month to move really will make the move a more positive experience. It will give you time to move things into the right place the first time as opposed to just cramming it all in and sorting it out later. Not sure what is going on with your OPK's but it looks like you've got it covered with the bd'ing.

I think it was a good plan too, that was all up to my OH, the problem solver! I would've done it the crazy way, so glad he thought of that.

Megan, FX for Jan 31st!

Jenkb, Hope your first day at the new job is going well!

Vegas, good luck with your dieting. Do you have any goals with it?

Angel, FX you get a BFP this month (or early next month!)!

Afm, I guess I'm in the 2ww now. Not sure when to test since I may have o'd late, but I'm thinking I'll start when af would be due if I o'd when I was supposed to... so on the 23rd. Thought about waiting longer... I'm just so impatient!

OH is sick with the flu... so far I've gotten lucky and not caught it! Poor guy has had a rough last week... anniversary of his dad's death, struggling with our car insurance on a claim, signing the papers on the house, trying to quit smoking, now he gets the flu!


----------



## Middysquidge

Hey everyone, I have put this in my siggy, if anyone wants to copy and paste feel free:

Praying for RAINBOWS for the 'June baby angels' girls including: angel2010, vegasbaby, Meli_H, StefNJunk, jenkb123, jennc, twilightgeek, Megan1986

I didn't think it was fair to include the names of the ladies in this thread that I haven't had conversations with but of course I am routing for them all when I say June baby angels girls. If anyone isn't happy with their names being here, please do let me know and I will remove immediately. 

Thanks girls x x


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## StefNJunk

Totally stealing Jasmine! Replacing my name with yours, of course, and hope you don't mind me changing "Praying" to "Hoping" for my own sig! Also loved that you did rainbow colors for RAINBOWS, stole your idea! :)


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## Middysquidge

Steal away Stef, I think I'll change to 'Hoping' too actually! x x


----------



## Meli_H

Hi everyone! Sorry I wasn&#8217;t able to check in this weekend. I wish I could say it was due to all the BD&#8217;ing we were doing, but, unfortunately, that&#8217;s not the reason. More on my weekend on a separate post&#8230;this one is too long&#8230;sorry for that!!!

*Jasmine,*
I&#8217;m glad OH is back! I&#8217;m sure you missed him. It&#8217;s been almost one year since the last time DH traveled for work. I could use some alone time right about now lol. I&#8217;m looking forward to next Wednesday--I&#8217;ll be home alone for a few precious hours after work as DH is taking my stepson and stepdaughter to a Muse concert to celebrate stepson&#8217;s 14th birthday. It&#8217;s a surprise for my stepson. We&#8217;re also having a surprise bday dinner for him this Saturday, so this upcoming weekend will be busy, but fun&#8230;
Sorry to hear about your thrush. One of the ladies in the office was telling me that she suffered from thrush often since she gave birth a couple of years ago. She started taking Aloe Vera juice (aloe gold brand) 3 months ago and swears by it. It&#8217;s supposed to be a great homeopathic remedy for so many things, I think I am going to order a bottle for DH and myself.
I think your changing your sigi is a great idea :thumbup:, so great in fact, that I&#8217;m going to copy you LOL


*BTW, before I forget, just wanted to put it out there for you ladies: If you ever find your way over to Los Angeles to sightsee, let me know! I would love to meet up with any of y&#8217;all if the occasion ever arrived.. I live in Valencia, CA--about 5 miles from the amusement park Magic Mountain. We have 2 guest bedrooms available (the plan is to turn one into a nursery-hoping the need arises soon lol). Y&#8217;all have been so supportive and I will always be grateful! I have never had &#8216;online only friends' before, so this is all new to me. I&#8217;m sorry we all ended up on this board, but sh*t happens and at least we have each other to commiserate with. *


*Megan*
Welcome back! So, based on your testing date of Jan 31, I&#8217;m guessing you O&#8217;d and have been doing a lot of bd&#8217;ing these past few days lol! I think our cyles are pretty similar right now&#8230;


*Jenkb*
I hope your first day at work is awesome!!
FX that af doesn&#8217;t come and you get your BFP!! How exciting--we could have our very first BFP of the group very soon! :dust:


*Vegas*
That stinks that you&#8217;ll be the one with the responsibility of getting the dog and DD ready in the mornings since DH leaves early for work. I&#8217;m the one that leaves early because I work near downtown LA, but live 60 miles away, in Valencia. I take the train--there is NO WAY that I could drive to work every day! I don&#8217;t have the patience! The plan is that my mom will babysit for us, but she lives about 5 miles from my work---soooooo that means I will be the one to get up and get the baby ready, and take the train with the baby. My mom will meet me at the train station for the baby drop off and pick up. Lucky DH works from home 4 days out of the week. Sometimes I come home and he&#8217;s still in his pj&#8217;s!! SO NOT FAIR! :growlmad:
I laugh when you say DD and the dog are &#8216;not used to being rushed&#8217; -it&#8217;s probably an understatement! That&#8217;s great that you haven&#8217;t worked for 3 years. I plan on taking a maximum of one year off of work when I have a baby, but who am I kidding? I&#8217;ll be lucky if I can hang for 6 mos--my mom says that once I have the baby, I will change my mind and won&#8217;t want to go back to work. I say--dream on..you&#8217;re not getting out of babysitting this one lol! I tease...she is the best grandma EVER! I have 2 nephews and one niece, and they love their nana to death. I loved my grandparents also, but their generation was different, and I didn&#8217;t have the same relationship with my grandparents, as my nephews and niece have with theirs. It&#8217;s a beautiful thing.

Good luck with your diet :thumbup: I first plan to get back on my regular workout schedule, and then I&#8217;ll tackle my diet. Baby steps for me lol!

*Angel*
I agree with Jasmine, it doesn't sound silly to avoid certain times of year to have a baby, it completely makes sense to me. Like you, I really didn&#8217;t want a &#8216;holiday&#8217; baby-I was hoping to avoid an edd during the months of Nov-January, even Feb-April! Now having had my mc, I will take my happy and healthy rainbow baby with a birthdate of whenever!* I don&#8217;t care! I just want to be pg now**! *I tell myself that I&#8217;m ossessive about all this ttc business because of my age, but who am I kidding? I am the most impatient, instant gratification junkie that I know--so whether I was a 25 y/o ttc, or the 40 y/o ttc that I am, I would still be impatient lol!

Thanks for adding the info about your 2nd af cycle. I mentioned to my dr. the fact that my periods have been lighter flow, negligible cramping, orangish color sometimes, and she attributed it to the baby aspirin I&#8217;ve been taking daily for the past 6 weeks or so. I don&#8217;t believe her. What does she know?? When I told her why I was taking the baby aspirin, she was confused and said she had never heard of that b4. Whatever. She&#8217;s just a general practitioner, not an ob-gyn dr.

FX that you catch your o and the egg this month! :dust:

*Stef*
Sorry to hear about your OH&#8217;s week--it certainly sounds horrible! 
FX for your BFP :dust: I&#8217;m sure a BFP will take his mind off of all those other stressors. FX you don&#8217;t catch his illness--be careful!!! DH is somewhat of a germophobe, and he&#8217;s turned me into one now. I used to have a horrendous immune system and caught colds at least 3-4 times a year. I&#8217;ve gotten better, but still, when I do catch a cold, I pretty much get &#8216;banished&#8217; to the guest room (which I don&#8217;t mind--tv and bed all to myself?? A night off from sex? NOW THAT'S A W E S O M E lol :happydance: !! Although, I can&#8217;t act happy when this happens, I have to protest my 'banishment', and I can&#8217;t 'banish' myself, *he* has to suggest it or else his feelings get hurt lol!). If I&#8217;m preparing meals, I can&#8217;t talk over the food to avoid contaminating it, he wipes down everything behind me, I can&#8217;t talk to him in his face to avoid spewing microscopic infectious particles..blah blah blah. I used to think it was overkill, but now I think he has some valid points.


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## Meli_H

Soooooo, this was my weekend that was _supposed _to be full of BDing!

(BTW, this is the first time Ive used the OPKs 3x a day when testing for o. For those of you really serious about catching the o, I totally recommend testing 3x day once you catch the beginning of your LH surge. I tested Wednesday FMU, negative. Thursday FMU negative. Friday FMU, I saw a teeny tiny line.so then I tested again Friday mid-afternoon, and the line started getting darker..I tested again 10pm that Friday night, then FMU Saturday morning, then Saturday afternoon, and the Saturday afternoon OPK was the actual positive (where the 2nd line was darker than the control line). I still kept using the OPKs Saturday 11pm, then Sunday FMU, then Sunday afternoon, then Sunday night. It was interesting watching the OPK progressively get lighter and lighter as my surge was ending. Finally this morning FMU (Monday) was the first opk that was completely negative-no hint at all of the surge. So, based on that, it seems that I Od sometime Sunday (supposedly 24-36 hours after the first positive opk, which was on Saturday afternoon). 

Anyways, we bdd on Wednesday night, then on Friday night. We didnt BD on Saturday night--we went out to dinner and the movies with our neighbors, came back home and I was so tired! *BUT*, I had told him the plan earlier during the week--and the plan was to BD Fri, sat, sun, mon & tues. I woke up around 11:30pm Saturday night, right as he was turning off the tv. I was like --hey! Whats up with the BD we were supposed to do tonight? He mumbled something like Why didnt you tell me earlier? You were sound asleep and I didnt want to wake you up. Now Im ready to knock out. Well BD in the morning. I was so upset, I just let him go to sleep. Like*, since when does he care that Im asleep if hes in the mood? Hes never hesitated to wake me up before,* especially if its during a weekend. So he sleeps in until noon. I finally woke him up, all irritated because I am convinced that we totally missed the ideal time to BD! We had an aborted attempt around that time, then took a break and went back to it around 3pm. Sunday night, we went at it again, and again mission aborted! I was **so** pissed!!! I had a total meltdown last night and I let him have it. I was like you are the BIGGEST horndog on this planet and on these 2-3 days, the most IMPORTANT days to DTD if one is ttc, and you cannot bite the bullet, get it together and F**** me? WTH??? :growlmad:

OK, so _maybe_ I DID turn it somewhat clinical during this fertile period, but Geez! DEAL WITH IT and GET OVER IT!! I did MY part to get you to that place, now YOU MUST PERFORM! So this morning, I got to work and Ive been thinking about it, trying to bring myself back from the ledge. When I got pg the last time, it was the first month we were trying, we BDd 2 days before and the day of O (I think) and thats when I got pg. I know it only takes one time to get pg, but based on my age (40) and his (45), I think we need to go above and beyond to get the BFP! To me, above and beyond means BDing the 5-6 days of the fertile window! Not just twice!!! I am so afraid that I didnt catch the egg

BTW, I used the softcups for the first time. They were completely easy for me to get them in, however, getting them out was a different story, lol! I think they were in me completely snuggly! The first time I took it out, there were 2 tiny pinpricks of blood on the tissue, the second one that I removed, had a tiny bit more blood pinpricks, but I think that I probably irritated my cervix as I was removing them. I will use softcups in future.

We also had a more involved conversation about me donating liver to my uncle if I dont get pg, and he basically said, he doesnt agree with my decision, and if I do agree to the procedure, it will probably the beginning of the end between us. Great-more stress right?? :growlmad::growlmad:

Anyways, I dont know how I went from nonchalantly ttc, getting pg first try, having mc, to current period of desperately ttc! I dont know how I got here, but I **SO** DONT want to be that person. I need to relax and take a chill pill, I need to pray for lots and lots more patience.

Thanks for letting me vent! Rant over


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## Middysquidge

Meli, is there any chance you can bd tonight? I think based on your opks you might have ovulated today and eggy will be around for at least 24 hours if not 48! I will reply properly to everyones but I just wanted to get that in quick! Sorry it has been like this this month but it can be a really stressful time for us, the men so don't get it x x x Big hugs x x x

Take a look at my chart this month, I got my first positive opk (internet cheapie) 4 whole days before egg even came out of the hatch, you soo still have a shot!

My Ovulation Chart


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## vegasbaby

Meli: I'm so sorry your weekend didn't go as planned. I feel like I was in the same place you are now with this last (failed) pregnancy. With my dd, other than going off the pill, we weren't trying and I got pregnant six weeks later. This past time I went off the pill and was pretty chill about things until my period just didn't show up for a couple of months (sort of like now). So I started temping because I felt I wasn't in control of my own body and didn't like not knowing what was going on and this was a way to track things. Also, I was mad at my body for not allowing me to get pregnant right away like it did the first time. I started to demand sex on certain days and if he was too tired I would get upset. If he couldn't finish (or didn't finish where he was supposed to) I got even more irritated. As we all know you aren't going to get that bfp if you aren't doing it at the right times, nor will it happen if the job isn't completed. Temping alone wasn't working because my cycles were a bit off and O day was within a 10 day window, so we would be worn out before we ever got there. I started adding supplements, special lubricants, and then the OPK's. I was obsessed and stressed. The month I got my bfp I chilled out a bit. I did use the OPK's, but I didn't demand sex and in fact, our timing was terrible, but I think being more relaxed about it did the trick (but who knows). I found that all the TTC stuff was hurting our relationship as it was about a result and not about the two of us anymore. In a way I am glad that I have to wait because we can do what we want, when we want, without a goal in mind. I am afraid that I will become obsessed again once we are back on the TTC wagon, but I think for at least a month or two he will be understanding considering what we have been through. Also, the last two months of our last TTC journey, I just stopped mentioning ovulation or my cycle as it was taking all the fun out of "it". Anyway, I just wanted to share that as I think it is quite common to become so focused. Don't beat yourself up over not dtd every day. I think you certainly have a good chance this month, and if it is not to be then you can try again. The important thing to note is that you can get pregnant because you have gotten pregnant before and only a few months ago at that. Our bodies have been through a lot as have our minds and this can all lead to less than ideal conditions, so if it doesn't happen right away it is just because your body isn't quite ready yet and not because you didn't do something on the right day at the right time. I know we wish we could control everything, but we can't. If we could, none of us would be in this section of BnB. I truly hope you caught the egg this month. I'm ready to start seeing some BFPs on here! :hugs:


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## Meli_H

*Hi Jasmine,*

Thank you. You make some valid points--I think we will BD tonight. This morning, before I even got to work, he called me and was kissing my a**. He is totally on a mission to get back on my good side--and trust me, thats not usually like him. In our relationship, I am always the one that seems to eat sh*it (even if Im right and hes wrong!) because I hate conflict and I dont like to fight. The fact that he was kissing my you-know-what, and asking questions like cant we try again tonight? etc etc completely surprised me. I think he gets it now and knows that I am obsessed. However, I will definitely chill out-I dont know how long I can count on his being understanding of my obsessive ttc ways!!
Thanks so much! I will definitely BD tonight as I think you make a good point-there is a small chance that it may lead to something. 

*Vegas,*
Thank you. You are so right--Ive turned sex into sex on demand lol! Last night, before we started the second aborted attempt, he said Fine. Lets get on with it because youve been so hostile lately, Im afraid youre going to stab me in my sleep if we don't BD lol!! Yup--I would qualify my actions at this stage as harming our relationship. 

I do think that last nights blowout, although certainly not ideal, did serve at least one purpose--my true feelings/obsessions were revealed. I am the kind of person that doesnt like to talk about 'sentimental' or 'sad' stuff like that--but I finally broke it down for him. I do see him attempting to be more cooperative and understanding now that he sees where Im coming from, but I dont know how long I can expect it will last! 

However, regardless of him and his attitude, you are SO right. I NEED to, and I will, mentally pull back and stop obsessing and beating myself (and him) up over it. 

I will keep repeating this to myself over and over--what you wrote here really resonates with me. *Thank you for this:

"The important thing to note is that you can get pregnant because you have gotten pregnant before and only a few months ago at that. Our bodies have been through a lot as have our minds and this can all lead to less than ideal conditions, so if it doesn't happen right away it is just because your body isn't quite ready yet and not because you didn't do something on the right day at the right time. I know we wish we could control everything, but we can't. If we could, none of us would be in this section of BnB"*


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## angel2010

Meli, That does sound strange, what you doctor said, because I take a daily baby asprin.


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## angel2010

Okay, just finished reading all the rest. 
:hugs:I am sorry this weekend was what you planned. So if I read right, you bd Wed, Fri and Monday (with possibilities of pre-sperm Sat and Sun). I think you are certainly still in the game for Jan!! 
I am really sorry about what he said about your uncle too.

Lucky for me, dh understands exactly how anal and control I like to be and doesn't mind when I say "okay, we are having sex on this day, this day, and this day". Like I said before, I am not using the opks this time, so I hope I do a good job at reading my body!


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## Meli_H

angel2010 said:


> Meli, That does sound strange, what you doctor said, because I take a daily baby asprin.

Hi Angel,

I'm not 100% sure, BUT, I am pretty sure that I started taking the baby aspirin after my first AF, but, I've had the little wipes of orangey red blood since my first AF. Meaning, I had my first AF with the orangey red blood, started taking baby aspirin, had second AF and it also had the orangey red blood...
Weird, huh! I guess we'll never know..unless we stop taking the daily baby aspirin...


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## Meli_H

angel2010 said:


> Okay, just finished reading all the rest.
> :hugs:I am sorry this weekend was what you planned. So if I read right, you bd Wed, Fri and Monday (with possibilities of pre-sperm Sat and Sun). I think you are certainly still in the game for Jan!!
> I am really sorry about what he said about your uncle too.
> 
> Lucky for me, dh understands exactly how anal and control I like to be and doesn't mind when I say "okay, we are having sex on this day, this day, and this day". Like I said before, I am not using the opks this time, so I hope I do a good job at reading my body!


Hi Angel,
Well, at this point, we bd'd weds nite, fri nite, and sunday afternoon. I intend to bd again tonight (monday). Possibilities of pre sperm were Sunday morning and Sunday night.. so we'll see

You know, _normally_ DH completely is ok with me being controlling in the bedroom...I think what set him off this time was that in addition to making him feel like a 'robot' with 'sex on demand', he asked me to take off my pj top. well, I was cold....so I didnt want to. He was like "I ask you to do one little thing and you can't even do that". He blew it way out of proportion and then dug in his heels! When we talked about it later, I was like, Geez! Had I known you were going to throw a hissy fit and stopped cooperating, I would have RIPPED it off right away! sheesh! Men! The stupid weird things that set them off LOL!


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## angel2010

Ah, well you are certainly in it!!


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## angel2010

I added it to my sig too. Does anyone have a journal to follow? I think I may start writing again in my old ttc one.


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## jennc

Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't been on in several days. I guess I was kind of wallowing in self pity and didn't want to bring you guys down with me. I'm over it now (for the time being anyway).

QUOTE=angel2010;24646811]

I know a few of us had a really light first af, I wanted to let you all know that my second one was not light. Not bad or anything, but if you were worried about your linings, I wouldn't be. Although the cramps aren't bad, I am pretty sure it is actually heavier than normal. Nothing else going on here, waiting for af to stop and debating in my mind whether to buy some cheapie okps or try a more ntnp this cycle. If we don't try or get it this cycle, we will wait until April to try again. It sounds silly, but I really don't want a Thanksgiving or Christmas baby.[/QUOTE]

I'm actually wondering now if my periods were the problem with the first pregnancy. I had been on heavy duty birth control for so long and even when I got off everything, I had really light periods, much lighter than before I was on the Depo. So, hopefully it is a good sign that it was so heavy after m/c.



StefNJunk said:


> jenkb123 said:
> 
> 
> Some good news. I got a new job yesterday. I start Monday. Its part time but it is in my field. I was laid off back in June so I have been off for awhile. I am quite excited to get back to work. New year, new job, next step.....new baby!! I agree with Meli - 2013 will be our year!!
> 
> Congrats on the new job. It seems like everyone is getting new jobs, new house etc. I will hopefully be looking for a home and I think I have decided to go back to school. I have a degree in psychology now and I work with kids but the mental health field is declining. I have been thinking about getting my nursing license and go into psychiatric nursing. I just hope we will be able to afford it and it doesn't interfere too much with ttc nrxt month.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Megan1986 said:
> 
> 
> How is everyone doing? I have been pretty MIA lately. Waiting to test on Jan 31Click to expand...
> 
> Good luck on the test.
> 
> 
> 
> Jasmineivy said:
> 
> 
> Hey everyone, I have put this in my siggy, if anyone wants to copy and paste feel free:
> 
> Praying for RAINBOWS for the 'June baby angels' girls including: angel2010, vegasbaby, Meli_H, StefNJunk, jenkb123, jennc, twilightgeek, Megan1986
> 
> I didn't think it was fair to include the names of the ladies in this thread that I haven't had conversations with but of course I am routing for them all when I say June baby angels girls. If anyone isn't happy with their names being here, please do let me know and I will remove immediately.
> 
> Thanks girls x xClick to expand...
> 
> I think it's awesome that you have included us. The more prayers, the better I think. Good luck everyone at TTC.
> 
> 
> 
> Meli_H said:
> 
> 
> Soooooo, this was my weekend that was _supposed _to be full of BDing!
> 
> (BTW, this is the first time Ive used the OPKs 3x a day when testing for o. For those of you really serious about catching the o, I totally recommend testing 3x day once you catch the beginning of your LH surge. I tested Wednesday FMU, negative. Thursday FMU negative. Friday FMU, I saw a teeny tiny line.so then I tested again Friday mid-afternoon, and the line started getting darker..I tested again 10pm that Friday night, then FMU Saturday morning, then Saturday afternoon, and the Saturday afternoon OPK was the actual positive (where the 2nd line was darker than the control line). I still kept using the OPKs Saturday 11pm, then Sunday FMU, then Sunday afternoon, then Sunday night. It was interesting watching the OPK progressively get lighter and lighter as my surge was ending. Finally this morning FMU (Monday) was the first opk that was completely negative-no hint at all of the surge. So, based on that, it seems that I Od sometime Sunday (supposedly 24-36 hours after the first positive opk, which was on Saturday afternoon).Click to expand...
> 
> Sorry your weekend didn't go as planned but I have read that too much can be a bad thing. It doesn't give his boys enough time to reproduce the good stuff. I have read that it is best to do it every other day when you're not on your period. That gives enough time to reproduce high quality sperm without making them stale either. I have read a lot of conflicting stuff on how things should be after m/c. I am going to call my ob and get the facts from her since he will be trying again next month but other than that, I;m going to let it just work things out on it's own. I'm guessing that a lot of it just depends on the person. No two bodies are going to work identically. I have also decided to get an overall checkup to make sure that my body is good. I want to give it the best chance I can this time. Not that I was doing bad things before, but it never hurts to make sure you're healthy. Good wishes to everyone who is ttc this month and early prayers go out to those of us who will be trying next month. Something tells me love will be in the air :winkwink:Click to expand...


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## vegasbaby

Meli: I agree with Angel, you are definitely in it. If dh and I dtd that much in such a small time frame I wouldn't be able to walk right. 

Angel: I don't have a journal, but I might start one when I start to TTC. At this point it would be quite boring. If you start one, let me know so I can follow you. 

Jenn: Anytime you feel crummy feel free to come on here and talk to us about it. That is exactly what we are here for!


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## StefNJunk

Meli, that sucks about your weekend, but it does sound like you're still in it. Glad he came around and was kissing your ass! And that really sucks what he said about the donation. It sounds like if you decide you want to go through with it you may need to have a very serious talk with him.

Angel, I have a journal, I'd love to follow yours as well! https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/ttc-journals/1519939-no-more-losses-please.html

Jenn, vegas is right, we're happy to listen whenever you need to talk :)

Afm, if my mood yesterday says anything, it was that I was right about being wrong about my o (did that make sense? lol). I was sad and depressed yesterday, almost crying at the drop of a hat. That tends to only happen the day after o, so I'm hoping it means I did o late and not early as I originally thought.


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## angel2010

So did you get a chance to :sex: with oh being sick, Stef?


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## angel2010

Jenn, when you are feeling sad, tell us! We are here for you!


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## StefNJunk

angel, that smiley always makes me giggle! We did, at 2am on Saturday morning, but not since then (having withdrawals!). It should be good, though, if I o'd on Sunday!


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## angel2010

It seems like everyone I know that is pregnant has found out what they are having in the past two weeks. I would have been 20 weeks on Thursday and would have been finding out too. We had a strong feeling it was a girl and named her according to that feeling. My sil found out she is having a girl. I was devastated when she found out, but am pretty much okay about it now. For some reason I feel like that was our chance to have a girl and now it is gone.:cry: I know it isn't really logical, but I can't help feeling this way.


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## StefNJunk

angel, don't feel bad about that feeling. I would have been 19 weeks this past Sunday and also would have been having the gender scan soon. We had a very strong feeling it was a boy, and I feel the same way you do! FX that the BFP I know you'll get soon is a girl!


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## Meli_H

*Angel,*
Yes, please share your journal! Im already following Stefs journal, would love to follow yours too! 
Sorry to hear that youre kind of down in the dumps with your SILs news.Stef is right--FX that your future BFP will be a sweet baby girl

*JennC*
Sorry to hear that you had a pity party yesterday. I had one yesterday, Im sure its obvious by my rants lol. The ladies are right--next time you feel that way, vent with us! I felt so much better yesterday after all the ladies talked me off the ledge. 

I agree, it certainly sounds like your heavy than usual af is a sign that your uterine lining is really building up and getting ready to support your rainbow baby!

Wow..a nursing degree would be awesome!! There is such a range of careers and flexibility that one can have with a nursing degree--obvs you know that . GO FOR IT! :thumbup: I know that going back to school comes with its own costs--and not just financial, BUT, the increased earning capacity and job satisfaction will so be worth it! Its not ideal, but people go back to school all the time, while they are ttc, or planning a family, etc. And they deal with it and figure it out! It wont be easy but it can be donekind of like they say there is never a perfect time to start a familythere will always be expenses and if you wait for the perfect time, it will never happen~ DO IT DO IT DO IT!:thumbup:

Ive read the same thing..that too much BDing can be a bad thing. You are right! I was just all crazy yesterday.the hormones and the pressure I put on myself to conceive just put me over the edge.
I think your plan to check in with your dr and make sure you are physically good to go all around is a good one. GL with that!

*Vegas*
You are funny--I can picture me walking as if I went horseback riding! Sometimes I feel that way when I get out of bed in the morninglike all my bones are cracking lol! This getting old business sucks.

Denial is quit powerful, but Ill share with yall a couple of things that threw in my face (RUDE!) that I was getting olderI couldnt deny it any longer

1.	When I was younger, I only needed shoe insoles in my really high heels and boots. Now I find myself using shoe insoles in ALL my shoes. Wedges, flats, high heels--doesnt matter anymore. I need them in most of my shoes to be comfortable!

2.	DH and I were listening to the radio. It was an awesome station--playing songs from the 80s--songs that were popular during my elementary, junior high and high school years. This station is one that plays oldies but goodies. I thought to myself this stations been bought out and is no longer an oldies but goodies station? I didnt know that. InterestingHA! Yah rightIts still an oldies but goodies station, all thats changed is that the music from my era is now considered oldies. WTH?? When did that happen??

Are you and Charlotte over your cold yet? My neighbor just came down with the flu yesterday--she couldnt get out of bed, her back was aching so bad. Her DH had to take her to the drs office. My DH and I are freaking out-we went to dinner and a movie with them on Sat night--that was prob the peak of her infectious period! FX we dont catch it!! I got the flu shot in Nov but its not 100% .

*Stef*
Sorry to hear that you were sad and depressed yesterday, but glad if its due to you Oing on Sunday, esp since you BDd Sunday morning!! FX!!! :dust:
Yes, we do need to have a serious talk about the liver donation if I dont get pg soon, I guess thats another reason why Im obsessed with ttc because if Im pg, then I cant donate, however much I want to..

*Jasmine,*
How are you doing? How was the house you and DH went to see yesterday?

*Thanks again ladies, for making me feel better yesterday.* I went home and DH was kissing my butt, being super nice. I was also in a good mood, and he noticed. He asked me why was I so happy? What was going on--such a different mood from yesterday?? I just said no reason. To myself I said because the wonderful BnB ladies knocked some sense into me. I was in such a good place that I didnt even want to BD last night! I was just so exhausted since we fought the night before, I was functioning on 3 hours of sleep and just wanted to go knock out. Had I still been all obsessed, I would have totally jumped on him to BD, but I just let it go..yall helped me realize that I had given it my all this weekend, and if its meant to be this month, then it will be! And if not, well then, maybe next month will be my month.


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## angel2010

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/ttc-journals/1149081-after-2-years-waiting-loss-ttc-2-a.html Fair warning, I am pretty boring though.


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## jenkb123

Hello Ladies!!

My first day at my new job went really well. I am certainly glad to have something else to focus on as it is way too easy to get wrapped up (ok....lets be honest....obsessed) with ttc. I am just working Monday, Wed, Friday to start. The best of both worlds. 

Vegas - It will be a big adjustment to start a new job with the extra routine of dealing with your dogs and getting your dd ready and out the door in the morning. I'm sure you guys will find your routine quickly. It will make work itself seem peaceful once you get there. Maybe you could do a few practice runs before the actual first day of work. It might help you get an idea of how long it will take (and how early you have to start). 

Stef - Congrats on being in the ttw. I hope it goes quickly for you (and you come out of it with your bfp!!) It is really tough to wait. This ttc business is all about waiting, waiting to o, waiting to test, waiting to start waiting all over again. I hope your OH feels better quickly. It sounds like tough time for him. No wonder his immune system was down. I hope you don't catch it!! 

Jasmine - Love your siggy!! Can't wait to start seeing some flashing bfp's in it!! I may steal it too. 

Meli - So glad I found you all too!! It really has helped a lot. Seeing how far we have all come since we first had to join this thread makes me feel good. 

I am so sorry to hear about your weekend. I can completely relate. It is so hard not to let the need to bd at the right time take over. It is so hard to be the one to worry about opk's and ovulation and cm, and signs and symptoms and testing and waiting and disappointment and waiting etc, etc. I know my husband really wants a baby but sometimes I am jealous that all he has to do is be ready to bd on demand at the times where I feel its the right time (and leave me be at the other points in my cycle where I am tired and sore and crampy). When it doesn't work out and we don't bd when I've deemed it an ideal time it is hard not to get mad at him. He likely isn't trying to wreck my plans or cause us to fail at getting a bfp. He just doesn't have to live in the body of the person trying to be pregnant and can't understand how that feels. It is so hard not to let the process take over your life. I really try not to get obsessed or to get my hopes up or read into everything but it is so hard!! I know it has had an effect on my relationship (especially when it comes to dtd.....it is really hard to be spontaneous and do it because we want to). Being able to vent and rant on here does make it easier to put things into perspective, to stay sane and to realize that it isn't crazy....other people feel the same way. Thank you for sharing your feelings on the subject. It really does help me to hear them just as much as it helps you to get them out!! 

I also agree with the others and I think you still have an excellent chance this month!! Vegas said it really well, your body showed you that you can get pregnant it will happen again. Despite not getting in all the bd'ing you wanted I think your timing was good and you covered all the bases!! I really hope this is your month!! :) I am also so glad you are feeling better about things today!! 

Angel - Its so good that you can read your body so well. Mine hasn`t cooperated with me and it is very hard to know what is going on. I hope this is your month too!! 

jennc - It seems that 2013 is the year for fresh starts, new jobs (or career choices), new houses, soon to be new babies. Good luck and I hope you get all three this year!! 

As for me....I am still waiting for af. Did another test today and still bfn. I am on cd 37 today. Keep expecting to see af every time I go to the bathroom. Not sure what is going on. Things seem to be going back to my old pattern of long cycles. I am unsure if I even o'd this month. It is still possible I could get a bfp (can't fully give up until af arrives). When I got my bfp before I wasn't able to test until 20dpo (because of the hcg trigger shot). It was only a light positive despite being so late....so I guess its still possible. I will test again Thursday if af stays away. 

Hope everyone had a good Tuesday!! :)


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## Middysquidge

Hi everyone,

Wowsers, things are moving quickly in our thread, I can't keep up! It's good that we're all busy though! 

Stef, I have my fingers crossed for you, it sounds like you have timed perfectly this month! It sounds like you have some reliable signs, I can't wait till some of the girls here can start testing, eep!

Jenn, sorry to hear you have been feeling sad, hope you're okay now, everyone is right you don't have to stay away when you're down, we understand x 

Angel, yes, I would have been 20 weeks now too and finding out the gender. I felt I was having a little boy, it saddens me I will never know. I hope you get to use your girl's name really soon. You still have a chance to have a girl. Your little boy is just the coolest, cutest looking little dude ever and I love the name Carter! I'm following your journal now as well as Stef's! Is your given name Angel, that's so beautiful! Good luck with waiting for ovulation, exciting! Can't wait till it's my turn in February!

Hey Jenkb, congrats on a successful first day at your new job! That's great news!

Meli, so glad you are feeling better now and that things are better with OH! You certainly have given it your best shot this month, you have at least given it the chance to happen if it is indeed meant to be! I think you did really well, I agree with Vegas if I did it that much I'd get an infection! hehe! Also, Meli I just wanted to say thank for the invite of meeting up if we're ever near you're hometown! That's so sweet and the same goes here if any of you ever takes a trip to the UK, do let me know, we'll go for tea with the queen! I wish, ha, but seriously! 

Not that much to report here about ttc as we're out this month but we're concentrating on houses. We went to see one yesterday, it wasn't right, no white goods and quite scruffy. Then we went for a second viewing for the town house, we are totally in love with it, only problem is so is everyone else! It has two applications going through and they're turning down viewings! I could kick myself cos I was the first to see it when it had no other applicants but I wrote it off after speaking with DH, we thought the kitchen would be too small but it totally isn't (long story) Anyway, we're making an application tomorrow just have to keep everything crossed that the landlord finds us most desirable!

x x x


----------



## Meli_H

*Jenkb,*

So glad to hear that you are loving your new job. M, W, F is an awesome schedule! 

You make a good point.DH isnt trying to wreck our plans to conceiveI know he wants a bfp just as much as I do. But youre right--since we are the ones that choose to/have to do all the monitoring, testing, etc, it gets to be too much sometimes. I like how you put that--he just doesnt have to live in the body of the person trying to get pregnant and cant understand how it feels. SO TRUE!

FX FX FX FX FX that af STAYS AWAY!!! :dust::dust:

You are right--stay positive, because its *not over until af comes!* Are you using the sensitive tests (FRERS)? I can't wait til you test again on Thursday!!!

*Jasmine,*

Thank you. I certainly did mean that invitation. You never know, right? DHs dream is to travel to Europe. He is dying to go to Italy. My thoughts are, _well, _if were going to go to Europe, we might as well kill 2 birds with one stone and hit up as much as we can of the EU, right? Lets go to Spain, the UK, France, and Switzerland, too!! Ha hadreaming, right? Like I said, one never knows...If we ever cross the pond and make it there, will def let you know!

*FX that the landlord finds you, DH and DD the most charming and the best fit as his tenants!*


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## angel2010

Good luck with the getting the house Jasmine! I know with oh gone, you didn't bd, but have you gotten af yet? And yes my real name is Angel. While it is a pretty name, I have always hated it. I could never have a nickname and it is a common stripper name.... We did name the baby, Charlotte Marie. If we were to have another girl, we will name her Kinsley Monroe.

Jenk, so happy to hear your first day went well! Fx you are still in it, or hurry up and get af.


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## Middysquidge

Thanks Meli! Yes, you'll have to swing by the UK, I live around 20 minutes away from York which is just the most beautiful city, I'd love to meet any of you!

Angel, aww I love the name but i haven't had it all my life, I so wouldn't think of a stripper you know! I used to hate my name Jasmine because back in the 80s it was so unusual but I like it now because my dad named me and we were so close. I love your choice of girl's names, both of them, I named my angel 'Sorrow', he was going to be 'Flynn Stephen' my dad's name was Stephen. 

My af should be due a week today! Of course it will be here as we didn't try, it's quite nice having a guilt free glass of wine! 

x x x


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## jenkb123

Jasmine - Things really are moving quickly in this thread!! I love reading everyone's updates. Good luck with the townhouse application!! I hope that the landlord realizes you are the best choice!! Hope your af is right on time so you can move on to the next cycle as soon as possible!! I have a good feeling about February!! Enjoy the wine while you can :)

Meli - I used a FRER test last week on Wed and Saturday. Those were both bfn. The one I used today was just a ic. I may break down and get more FRER if af stays away until Thursday. 

If anyone ever makes it out to Saskatchewan my door is always open as well!! Not really a big tourist destination.....but Saskatoon is a lovely city!! 

Angel - I totally agree. If its not going to be a bfp I just wish that af would hurry up so I can move on to the next cycle.


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## sweetmommaof2

Hi everyone. I know it has been a very long time since I have been on this site but it was just getting too hard to have the constant reminder. It was very hard to go through it I tried really hard to put on a smile and say everything is fine... it wasn't. I went through some major depression and then finding out many of my close friends were pregnant and due just after me was hard. Really hard, more than I would like to admit. I would have been going in for my "sex" ultrasound anytime now. My husband and I were going to start trying this month but the Lord had another time in mind. I started buying pregnancy test just for the heck of it this month. I decided to just take one for fun and knew it would turn up negative and to my SHOCK I am pregnant! I am so scared! I found out yesterday morning at 9 am and it is now 815pm and I am still in shock!!! My husband and I were using precautions considering my dr wanted us to wait til feb. to try and she said it would be ok to start this month... not last month... We have only told my husband of course, my boss, my cousin and our 2 daughters. I am NOT making the same mistake on telling people again til later in the pregnancy.. I am sooo scared! We were truely not trying last month... I drank (less than a half glass of a lightly mixed drink) but still I drank... I have not been taking my vitamins regulary... I am not prepared like I was last time... I have taken ibprophen... I am SCARED!!!! I hope everything will be ok...


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## angel2010

Oh Sweetmomma! Congrats! Please try not to stress, it will not change what will be. I will keep you and your sweet little bean in my thoughts!


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## Middysquidge

Congratulations Sweetmomma! What a lovely little surprise! In a way it would be nice if it happened like that for me, the 2ww and ttc stresses me out so much! I have had a break away from the regular forums really, only posted once or twice, I have hibernated in this thread. It's been the perfect place for me. 

Awww, I think once the shock wears off you can start to relax a bit. When are you due? x x x


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## vegasbaby

Sweetmomma: Hooray! Our first BFP! I could not be happier for you. Try not to stress and don't worry a bit about not being prepared with vitamins or drinking. My friend didn't find out she was pregnant until she was 20 weeks along (long story) and she hadn't taken any vitamins, plus she drank and smoked. Her son is now six years old, extremely healthy and bright. I know this may be sooner than you expected, but I'm sure this little one was sent to you for a reason. Enjoy, relax and have a happy and healthy nine months. Please, please keep us updated!

I'll catch up with everyone else later.


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## StefNJunk

Meli, I'm so glad everyone here is helpful for you (and everyone else!) I feel the same way. Sometimes when I'm feeling down about the whole thing, I come to this thread, and I end up feeling so much better.

angel, I'll be stalking and reading your journal as soon as I'm done here!

jen, glad your first day went well! It's CRAZY hard with all this waiting. I'm ridiculously impatient. OH is starting to feel better, so that's great! I haven't caught it, so it looks like I probably won't (or at least not from him). Could be that I'm pumped up on the pre-natals plus vitamin D and probiotics! Here's to your BFP!

Jasmine, I keep questioning the signs since it would mean I o'd 4 days late, and that never happens! I know my cycle could be off and I keep telling myself that because it would be good this month! I hope that you get that townhouse (or find some place even better!)

sweetmomma, congrats! It sounds very much like this LO was meant to be!


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## StefNJunk

Guess I'm out for this month after all. Cramps on Sunday and mood on Monday that I thought were from o were apparently from af because I got it today, 21 days from my last one.


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## Middysquidge

StefNJunk said:


> Guess I'm out for this month after all. Cramps on Sunday and mood on Monday that I thought were from o were apparently from af because I got it today, 21 days from my last one.

Sorry Stef :hugs:

My af will be here in a couple of days too, my mood is awful today! So we're in it together next month, hope af isn't too horrible for you x


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## StefNJunk

Ugh being a woman. Light, barely crampy 1st after mc af... heavy, very crampy 2nd after mc af. TMI but the only time I've ever seen as much blood in the toilet as I did when I got up this morning was after using the Cytotec. I haven't had a proper af since July with the 2 pgs, but I know they were never THIS heavy! Maybe it'll end faster? :wacko:


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## Meli_H

*Sweetmomma*,

:dust: CONGRATULATIONS! :dust: How appropriate that the person who started this thread, got the first :bfp: of the group!! I am sure that you will have a happy and healthy 9 months! Try not to stress..I know, I know, it's way easier said than done...

*Jenkb,*

*Where are you??????* Have u tested again? :test: FX that youre the 2nd :bfp: of the group!! :dust:


*Stef,*

Sorry af got you :growlmad: and that its so miserable. Maybe its a good thing that its very crampy and heavy, maybe its cleaning you out? You mentioned in your blog that you have orangey af flow..can I ask if youre taking baby aspirin? Angel and I have experienced the same orangey color, and the only thing in common is that we are both taking baby aspirin daily?

I hope everyone has a wonderful day!!


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## angel2010

Stef, my I believe my second af was heavier than my normal af too.


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## vegasbaby

Stef: Sorry the witch got you and that it is a heavy flow. Good news is that means your lining must be pretty robust. I think this next cycle is the one for you (just like your mom says).

Jasmine: Well, you don't really know until AF shows up, but if you think it's coming then it probably is. Any news on the house you put the application in for? Sorry if I have missed this info in an earlier post.

AFM: Went in today for my last blood draw until February. It will be nice not having to go in to the doctor's office for a while. The nurse, who was apparently clueless as to why my blood was being drawn, asked if I was pregnant. I didn't even feel sad telling her no. Yesterday I managed to hold a friend's four month old and hang out with another friend who is 22 weeks pregnant all without feeling sad or jealous. Of course Charlotte is being a little terror lately so maybe that makes me less broody. Whatever it takes, right!


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## jenkb123

Sweetmomma - Huge big gigantic contrats!! Like Meli said, it is so perfect that you were the first one on this thread to get a bfp as you were the one who started it!! I can completely understand that you are feeling a lot of stress as you weren't quite ready to try again. I do think the fact that it happened when you weren't trying means that it was truly meant to be. Things have a funny way of happening in their own time. Try not to worry about the few little things you did this month that you wouldn't have done if you were trying. So many women don't know they are going to get pregnant and do much worse things. I am sending you lots of sticky baby vibes and positive thoughts!! I am so excited for you!! 

Stef - I'm so sorry af got you. The one positive thing is that because she came early you can move on to the next cycle quicker and won't be tortured by a long tww!! I think that a heavy cycle means that your lining built up nicely. This is a very good thing to know after having a m/c. I think it will mean you are in good shape for next time!! :)

Meli - Unfortunately I have no good news to report. Still waiting. No af and bfn this morning. I even used a FRER. I am feeling pretty discouraged as I am now on cd39. I thought I o'ed somewhere around Dec 28/29. I felt like my progesterone levels were higher this month as I had a lot of symptoms around what I thought was o time (and before taking clomid I never had any symptoms). I am now pretty sure I must not have o'd because that would make me around 20dpo today. Surely if I was going to get a bfp it should be showing up by now. So I am still waiting an hoping that nothing more is wrong. If there is still no af and if I am still showing bfn on Tuesday I might try to get in with my doctor just to make sure everything is ok. Its really frustrating. I just wish my body with cooperate with my plans!! (lol....wouldn't that just make things so much easier for all of us!!)

Jasmine - Hope your mood gets better!! The one positive thing for me about having to try again next month is that I will be in good company with you girls!! 

Vegas - So glad that the blood draws are done for this month!! I am confident that your levels will be 0. You were so close last time they have to be 0. It's good you are feeling better with babies and pregnancy questions. It really does show how far things have come over the last few months. A girl in my new office is pregnant and is due in July. She is just a little behind where I would be if I hadn't had the m/c. I have been surprisingly ok about being around her. 

Hope everyone is doing well!!


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## Megan1986

Starting to see some symptoms! 2 weeks until I test! (I have a 35 day cycle and ovulated over a week ago)


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## angel2010

Megan, you are waiting until you are a week late to test? What are your symptoms, share with us!!!


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## StefNJunk

Meli_H said:


> *Stef,*
> 
> Sorry af got you :growlmad: and that it&#8217;s so miserable. Maybe it&#8217;s a good thing that it&#8217;s very crampy and heavy, maybe it&#8217;s &#8216;cleaning you out&#8217;? You mentioned in your blog that you have orangey af flow..can I ask if you&#8217;re taking baby aspirin? Angel and I have experienced the same orangey color, and the only thing in common is that we are both taking baby aspirin daily&#8230;?

I swear I responded to you yesterday! Oh well. Nope, no baby aspirin, and no orangey color this time, that only happened a little bit with the mc bleeding, but not with the 2 afs since.



angel2010 said:


> Stef, my I believe my second af was heavier than my normal af too.

I guess it makes sense for it to be heavier the second time with the lining building back up, I just wasn't expecting it to be THIS heavy. I almost feel like it would be easier just to sit on the toilet for a few days!



vegasbaby said:


> Stef: Sorry the witch got you and that it is a heavy flow. Good news is that means your lining must be pretty robust. I think this next cycle is the one for you (just like your mom says).
> 
> Jasmine: Well, you don't really know until AF shows up, but if you think it's coming then it probably is. Any news on the house you put the application in for? Sorry if I have missed this info in an earlier post.
> 
> AFM: Went in today for my last blood draw until February. It will be nice not having to go in to the doctor's office for a while. The nurse, who was apparently clueless as to why my blood was being drawn, asked if I was pregnant. I didn't even feel sad telling her no. Yesterday I managed to hold a friend's four month old and hang out with another friend who is 22 weeks pregnant all without feeling sad or jealous. Of course Charlotte is being a little terror lately so maybe that makes me less broody. Whatever it takes, right!

VERY robust, it seems! And I'm glad being around the baby / pregnancy didn't bother you. I still get twinges of jealousy :wacko: Although we heard OH's niece, who was taking a step here and there when we saw her on Christmas, is now fully walking, and I got super excited. She's going to be a wild one that's for sure.



jenkb123 said:


> Stef - I'm so sorry af got you. The one positive thing is that because she came early you can move on to the next cycle quicker and won't be tortured by a long tww!! I think that a heavy cycle means that your lining built up nicely. This is a very good thing to know after having a m/c. I think it will mean you are in good shape for next time!! :)

I hope it means that! I suppose this next cycle will be better anyway, since I KNOW now that everything is back to normal and the house stress will be settling down a bit (loan commitment should be coming in today!)... I just was sooo in love with the idea of a bday baby! 

Megan, FX for you!

Yesterday was an off day for me, with my attention span at least. I've been doing freelance editing work for a web content company, and I was SO off my game yesterday... made a few small mistakes in some articles I edited... small, but enough where they let me go. Have had no problems in the 5 months I've worked with them... guess you can't have an off day with them :(

How is everyone doing today? Jasmine, how is the house hunting coming?

Oh yeah, if anyone is looking for cheapie OPKs / pg tests, I got a pack of 30 OPKs and 10 pg tests for $6.49 on eBay, so it's worth checking there!


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## StefNJunk

Why do I always look at dates like "Ooh, what if?" So my what if of today - if I got pg this cycle, when would I test? If I waited until af is one day late (assuming my cycle returns to its normal 28 days), I'd test on Valentine's day. How awesome of a gift would that be for OH? I need to stop the what if game because now I'll be disappointed if I don't get a BFP for V-day, lol.


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## Meli_H

StefNJunk said:


> Why do I always look at dates like "Ooh, what if?" So my what if of today - if I got pg this cycle, when would I test? If I waited until af is one day late (assuming my cycle returns to its normal 28 days), I'd test on Valentine's day. How awesome of a gift would that be for OH? I need to stop the what if game because now I'll be disappointed if I don't get a BFP for V-day, lol.

I do the SAME thing and it's so annoying!!! I have to stop...


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## Meli_H

*vegas,*

Yay to your last blood draw for Jan! I hated those weekly draws. Sorry to hear Charlotte is keeping you on your toes lol! I don&#8217;t know how I&#8217;d react at this point, to a baby. There aren&#8217;t too many babies in my family at the moment-the youngest is 2 years old and he&#8217;s a doll. I don&#8217;t see him too often-maybe once a month. I feel like when I see an infant or newborn, that&#8217;s when it gets to me. 

*jenkb,*

wow, a BFN? That stinks, BUT, let&#8217;s stay positive since af still hasn&#8217;t arrived. It&#8217;s not over til af shows her face, right? Some women don&#8217;t show pos on HPT for weeks--so keep thinking positive thoughts!! I&#8217;m sending positive vibes your way! :dust: :dust:

AFM, I&#8217;m 5DPO and *trying* not to SS. It&#8217;s hard though!! I&#8217;m not feeling positive about this cycle, I don&#8217;t feel like I caught the egg, BUT, that&#8217;s ok. *Like you said, the one positive thing for me about having to try again next month is that I will be in good company with you girls!! *You&#8217;re right--I think that slowly, but surely, we&#8217;ve come a long way from when this thread was started. We take it day by day, putting one foot in front of the other. I know we&#8217;ve had setbacks here and there, but I think that&#8217;s part of the healing process. 


*Stef,*

Thanks for the info about the baby aspirin. Yesterday I decided to stop taking the baby aspirin. I&#8217;ve had small brown spotting throughout the tww during last cycle and my current one. I don&#8217;t think that&#8217;s normal, and I&#8217;m hoping that the spotting was due to the baby aspirin. Also hoping the aspirin caused the orangey af spells. We&#8217;ll see!!

TOTALLY SUCKS that you were layed off yesterday :growlmad::growlmad: I&#8217;m sorry to hear that. FX that you will find a new gig where they&#8217;re not so petty!! Let&#8217;s look at the bright side---this gives you a little more free time to concentrate on setting up your new house! Someone needs to be there to project manage and oversee the renovations/repairs you&#8217;ll be doing, right?


*Wishing everyone a great weekend!*


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## Middysquidge

Aww Stef, heavy af sounds not much fun :hugs: Hopefully at least it means you are now building up a nice thick lining for implantation when it happens next month! :winkwink: So sorry the company let you go, that sounds really unfair from just one off day, good riddance to them then! x 

Vegas, really good that you are now able to deal with babies and pregnany women, I feel the same, I'm not bothered what anyone else is doing with regard to babies I just want my own! Eva is being quite the little terror atm too, she wacked me across the face with her magic wand this morning, ouch! We've been having a lot of time out this week! :haha:

Sweetmomma, hope you're feeling okay? Has the news settled in a bit more now? Hope you're not fretting too much although I probably will be when my time comes!

jenkb123, how frustrating about your extra long cycle, I really hope af gets you soon so you know where you are! With my first cycle after miscariage it was a really long one for me, I ovulated day 21 when normally it's around day 15! If you're worried about it it would be good to talk to your gp, maybe they can take some bloods to confirm you have ovulated? My mood is still bad, thanks for asking, I'm not very good company atm!

Megan1986, what symptoms are you having? Good luck!

Meli, good luck in the 2ww, I have a really good feeling for you this month you know! Fingers crossed!

Afm, we're still waiting to hear from the landlord about the house, we're actually still waiting to fill the proper application form in, I keep ringing the agency to send it over, sounds a bit like they're fobbing me off! I just feel so fed up because I either wanted to be pregnant or get that house this month, just a bit of good luck but looks like I'll get niether! My mood is still terrible, I'm waiting for af, have no idea if I ovulated day 14 or 17 because i can't take my temps properly cos my dd comes in our bed every night and wakes me up early in the morning so I can't get a solid 3 hours before taking my temps. It looks like I'll ovulate next month on the one weekend when I go to London for a hen weekend. I never go away and this is just typical! Pissed off x


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## vegasbaby

Jasmine: I feel your pain with not being able to get the most accurate temps thanks to your little companion. I've been temping despite the crap sleep and I believe it to be pretty accurate. Don't count the new house out just yet. There is still time this month and they have yet to say no on the one you want. 

Meli: Any symptoms (even though you aren't ss)? 

Megan: Fingers crossed for you.

Stef: I like to play the what if game too. That would be awesome if you got a BFP for Valentine's Day.

Jenk: I feel you with the long cycles. That is why I started temping because I would think I was like three weeks overdue for AF when in fact my luteal phase is only like ten days long. Sometimes being a woman sucks.

Angel: Hi! How's it going? 

AFM: AF has arrived! Day 53 and it is here. Hopefully it will be mostly gone before I start working on Tuesday. So far it is just spotting, but it is here. No word from Thursday's blood draw, but I'm sure since I have been negative for the past two weeks that this draw was also negative. I'm sure hoping this next cycle is much shorter. I usually have 31-33 day cycles, O'ing around day 20 and then starting AF about ten days later. Since that makes my LP a bit short I take 50m B6 each day. I've been off it since becoming pregnant, but I will start up again. I was able to tack 1-2 days on to my cycle only using the B6 for a short time so I'm hoping it will help again. As you all know, I've got a few months to get my system back on track before TTC again. OK, I'm off to go work in the yard. Here in Florida the winter is the best time to be outside. Go figure.


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## Middysquidge

Vegas, great news that witch got you, bring it on!

I'm drunk atm, I'm loving it! x

ps I love you all x


----------



## sweetmommaof2

Jasmineivy said:


> Congratulations Sweetmomma! What a lovely little surprise! In a way it would be nice if it happened like that for me, the 2ww and ttc stresses me out so much! I have had a break away from the regular forums really, only posted once or twice, I have hibernated in this thread. It's been the perfect place for me.
> 
> Awww, I think once the shock wears off you can start to relax a bit. When are you due? x x x

September 16th I am 5 weeks 5 days


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## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> Vegas, great news that witch got you, bring it on!
> 
> I'm drunk atm, I'm loving it! x
> 
> ps I love you all x


Jasmine, u are so funny. Just had to respond to u right now! 
Enjoy ur happy time lol! Luv u too!!!

Atm, i am going to start getting ready for my SS surprise bday party. My mom and i decorated and are ready for our guests to start arriving. Hopefully i will have a couple drinks and have a little happy time myself!

I will try to log in tmo morning and check in with y'all!


----------



## angel2010

Jasmine, Oh, how we love you too!! You will have to tell us of your fun, drunken evening! I am sorry the landlord seems to be brushing you off. I will keep my fingers crossed that you don't o that weekend. Remember though, sperm can live like five days, so there could still be a chance!

Meli, I believe we have come very far in this thread. I was just telling dh how close I feel to all of you. I have said things here, that I haven't even said to him I think. We are certainly helping each other to stay strong and positive. Enjoy your SS's party and a drink or two, or three...:haha:

Stef, I am very sorry to hear about your job and I hope that af will be leaving soon. I too, "what if" all the time. FX already for Vday!!!

Sweetmomma, Congrats again! I am certain we will all be joining you within the year!


----------



## angel2010

Jenk, I am sorry to hear of your bfn, FX for something to happen.


----------



## angel2010

vegasbaby said:


> AFM: Went in today for my last blood draw until February. It will be nice not having to go in to the doctor's office for a while. The nurse, who was apparently clueless as to why my blood was being drawn, asked if I was pregnant. I didn't even feel sad telling her no. Yesterday I managed to hold a friend's four month old and hang out with another friend who is 22 weeks pregnant all without feeling sad or jealous. Of course Charlotte is being a little terror lately so maybe that makes me less broody. Whatever it takes, right!

That last sentence made me laugh out loud!! I happy to hear you will be done with blood draws. Hopefully it will be negative for you! I am also happy to hear you finally got af.


AFM, On CD 11, and am still waiting to o I think, going to be having a lot of :sex: in the next week. 

Reading someone else's journal got me thinking about pinterest, I am on pinterest and would love to stalk... I mean follow everyone else on there. Here is my link, if you want to follow me and my love of Adam Levine....:blush:
https://pinterest.com/angelfreeman/


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## Middysquidge

Hehe, I'm such a dope, I totally forgot about that little message! It's true, I love you all, ha! We had a fun night, just being silly, me, Shane and Eva dancing to 'I want to be like you' Jungle Book and loads of other cheesy Disney Songs, I totally recommend parenting after two bottles of rose, it really takes the edge off! It's so nice to have oh back though! :) :)

Meli, hope you have a great party!

Angel, good luck with the bd this week, I'll be hopefully doing some too very soon! I'm waiting for af to get me anyday! Come on wiitttcccchhhhh! I totally stalking you on Pinterest now!

Here's me:

https://pinterest.com/jasmineivy/

x x x


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## sweetmommaof2

jenkb123 said:


> Sweetmomma - Huge big gigantic contrats!! Like Meli said, it is so perfect that you were the first one on this thread to get a bfp as you were the one who started it!! I can completely understand that you are feeling a lot of stress as you weren't quite ready to try again. I do think the fact that it happened when you weren't trying means that it was truly meant to be. Things have a funny way of happening in their own time. Try not to worry about the few little things you did this month that you wouldn't have done if you were trying. So many women don't know they are going to get pregnant and do much worse things. I am sending you lots of sticky baby vibes and positive thoughts!! I am so excited for you!!
> 
> Stef - I'm so sorry af got you. The one positive thing is that because she came early you can move on to the next cycle quicker and won't be tortured by a long tww!! I think that a heavy cycle means that your lining built up nicely. This is a very good thing to know after having a m/c. I think it will mean you are in good shape for next time!! :)
> 
> Meli - Unfortunately I have no good news to report. Still waiting. No af and bfn this morning. I even used a FRER. I am feeling pretty discouraged as I am now on cd39. I thought I o'ed somewhere around Dec 28/29. I felt like my progesterone levels were higher this month as I had a lot of symptoms around what I thought was o time (and before taking clomid I never had any symptoms). I am now pretty sure I must not have o'd because that would make me around 20dpo today. Surely if I was going to get a bfp it should be showing up by now. So I am still waiting an hoping that nothing more is wrong. If there is still no af and if I am still showing bfn on Tuesday I might try to get in with my doctor just to make sure everything is ok. Its really frustrating. I just wish my body with cooperate with my plans!! (lol....wouldn't that just make things so much easier for all of us!!)
> 
> Jasmine - Hope your mood gets better!! The one positive thing for me about having to try again next month is that I will be in good company with you girls!!
> 
> Vegas - So glad that the blood draws are done for this month!! I am confident that your levels will be 0. You were so close last time they have to be 0. It's good you are feeling better with babies and pregnancy questions. It really does show how far things have come over the last few months. A girl in my new office is pregnant and is due in July. She is just a little behind where I would be if I hadn't had the m/c. I have been surprisingly ok about being around her.
> 
> Hope everyone is doing well!!

Thank you so much. I am feeling a little bit better. Still worried because I am still in my five week mark and that's the age/stage the baby was in last time when it didn't make it (even though I lost the baby at 8 weeks). The lady at the drs office said I can comes in anytime during the week to get my #s checked... Thinking of going in tomorrow. I appreciate all the women on here you are all so supportive! This thread turned out to be so much more than what I ever expected it to be! Love you all and sending lots of baby dust!!!!


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## angel2010

Sweetmomma, Wow, that is really nice of them to say you can come in any time to get your numbers checked. I hope mine says the same!!! 6 weeks will be here before you know it!


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## angel2010

I would recommend parenting after a few drinks! I am pretty sure I am a lot more fun.:haha: I would also recommend BDing after a few drinks. I am positive it makes me friskier!:haha:


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## jenkb123

Megan - Fx'ed for you this month. 

Stef - I hope that af finishes up quickly!! That is exciting that the house stuff is moving along. Before you know it you will be moving in and getting settled!! Yay for less stress!! :) Sorry to hear about the job. A Valentine's bfp would be great....I know what you mean about trying not to play the what if game though. I bet at least one of our group will get a Valentine's bfp. If not it will happen soon. 

Meli - Hope you caught this egg this month. You are halfway through the TWW. I really hate the wait. I always convince myself that its not going to happen yet at the same time can't help reading into things and looking for reasons that it will happen. Its a unique kind of torture. No matter how sure I am that it didn't happen it is still so hard not to be disappointed when af arrives. How was the party?? Sounds like it would have been fun!! 

I have a similar worry about next month. I am supposed to go away for three days in the beginning of Feb. I am worried that it will interfere with my tracking scans and possible o. I will be gone from a Wednesday to a Friday which means I wouldn't be able to go for a scan for 5 days (they don't do them on the weekend). I hope the timing works out ok for both of us. Even if you are o'ing around that weekend you will be away if you bd'ed before and after you left you would still be in good shape. Better yet....maybe it won't matter and you will get your bfp this month!! :)

Vegas - So glad af arrived!! Its especially good that now she will be gone (or almost gone) by the time you start your new job Tuesday!! That is one less thing to worry about. You will have everything figured out by the time you are ready to ttc again. My cycle's used to range from 40-50 days (and I would flow for 3-4 weeks straight) it was ridiculous!! I have found taking Provera every 3 months or so helps to keep them at a more reasonable length. I think I might need to take some this month as things are starting to take a long time again. 

Enjoy your nice weather. It is -43 degrees Celsius with the windchill here today. I won't be spending any time outside this weekend!! 

Jasmine - So glad to hear you had some fun this weekend!! 

Sweetmomma - Glad you are feeling a bit better. It is so great your doctor's are so accommodating. I bet it helps a lot. Thanks for the baby dust. I am so glad you started this thread!! 

Angel - Have fun with the bd'ing!! That is the best part of the whole cycle. 

AFM - I am still waiting. Still bfn and still no sign of af. Cd42. Just want to start this next cycle. This waiting sucks!! Going to hang out with my nephews this afternoon. Should be fun. 

Hope everyone had a good weekend!! :)


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## Meli_H

*Jasmine,*

Sorry to hear that your mood was terrible yesterday, but it sounds like you had a good time with your family last night! Hopefully it took your bad mood away!!! Dont forget-were barely past the halfway mark of January. Theres still time to get good news back about your new place before the month ends!! FX FX!! And like Angel said, although you;ll be out of town the next o time, youre still in it!! Maybe you should use Preseed or something to help the spermies live longer!

I am following you now on pinterest, LUV LUV the pic-Im assuming its you and DD! Beautiful-looks like a professional pic out of a magazine!

I *think* my pinterest username is meliholguin-see if you can find and follow me if you want, if you cant find me, let me know and Ill have DH help me figure out my info...

*Vegas,*

No real symptoms during this tww. This is the 2nd cycle that Ive been SS. Last cycle was the first that I was SS-and seemed to have lots more symptoms during that tww, like ovarian twinges almost every day 1DPO-14 DPO. Today I am 7DPO, but dont really have much to report. Its completely different from last cycle. I wonder if the reason that last cycle I had so many more ovarian twinges, symptoms etc, was because I had my one and only acupuncture appt about 1 week before the tww. She did use the needles on me that one time (although I never took the TCM herbal pills she prescribed). Based on that, and the fact that I have (and have had throughout last cycles tww) brown spotting each and every day throughout my luteal phase/tww, I am already counting myself out. Ive done research on brown spotting throughout luteal phase, and it seems highly unlikely that pregnancies can occur while one is spotting throughout the tww. Brown spotting is likely due to hormonal (progesterone) issues, or fibroids. Since Ive already been checked for fibroids, I doubt thats the case. This cycle is my first temping, so I guess if I have at least ten days of elevated temps above my coverline, that means I do not have a luteal defect. I am 7dpo and my temps are still elevated, so thats good. I have had a lower backache on left hand side-but its kind of like a pulled muscle type of pain. I could have slept wrong, or maybe it was all the heavy lifting from purchasing food (and beer lol!) from Costco for the partyso Im not putting much into that sign. One weird thing that I did notice at 4-5dpo is a weird tissue like flake discharge? A couple of tiny pieces that were brownish looking and looked like the top layer of skin? I have no idea what that was! Found couple articles on google about endometrial progesterone effect, sounds like the weird tissues could be a result of that, something about raised progesterone happens in early pregnancy which could result in that type of discharge, however the fact that it happened at such early dpo isnt possible, I think. On 5dpo I also had smelly urine, but I suspect that was due to me adding COQ10 to my daily regimen. I have a dr appt scheduled for Feb 1 with my gp, hopefully she will authorize my referral to an ob gyn for further discussion. 

YAY for AF!!!!finally! You have been so patientI need to take lessons from you! GL lengthening your luteal phase ASAP! Let us know on your first day of work-FX your new coworkers are as nice as the seemed to be when you met them last month! 

Hope you got lots of yardwork done. Our front yard is a huge dirt mess at the moment-we had our steps and lawn ripped out, theyre currently adding new sprinklers and building a new walkway and steps and adding new lighting. Its such a mess and Im just keeping my FX that it doesnt rain before they finish the project in the next 2 weeksit will be a huge mud pit!!!


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## Meli_H

*Angel,*

I feel the same way and so close to yall. Weve been there for each other, for both good and bad, I know that that from now on majority of times will be good!! I know what you mean about sharing things here that Ive never shared with DH. My filter seems to be GONE when I post here lol! 
GL on catching the egg!!!

Thanks for the pinterest idea. I am a pinterest addict also!! I have my pinterest info above in the previous post so u can follow me too if you like. I searched for your name but 2 people came up-wasnt sure which one was you? Let me know so that I can follow you!

*Sweetmomma,*

So glad your drs office is being so supportive! Thats half the struggle---

*Jenkb*

Yes, you are so right! I couldnt have put it better myself I always convince myself that its not going to happen yet at the same time can't help reading into things and looking for reasons that it will happen. Its a unique kind of torture. No matter how sure I am that it didn't happen it is still so hard not to be disappointed when af arrives. I guess its a defense mechanism that we have to put up, right?

The party was fun, my stepson was truly surprised! He got lots of money and itune gift cards-all gifts that a 14 y/o loves, right!! The weather was perfect-80 degrees F!

Sorry to hear it sounds like youre in the same boat as jasmineFX that it doesnt interfere with your tracking scans and O!!!FX FX FX!!! Hoping the timing works out for you.

Omg-cant believe you are on CD42 with a bfn and no AF. If youre not pg, hurry hurry up AF so that you can get onto your next cycle! Talk about patienceboth you and vegas have tons of it!!! Can I please have some sent my way pls lol!

Have fun with your nephews today and enjoy!


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## Middysquidge

Hey Meli,

I'm following you on pinterest too now :) Yeyyy, that's us, thanks for the compliment! 

Hey, this lady got a bfp with spotting in the tww, she talks about it in detail:

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/bfp-announcements/1685137-stunned.html

Keep the faith x


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## sweetmommaof2

Wow! I think I would go insane if my cycles were that far apart! I am a 30 day cycler... Which actually makes it pretty easy to calculate everything especially since I like to use the webmd stuff :) my Dr office has a lady named Nora that strictly draws blood all day and she knows what all happened last time and she was the one that kept checking my numbers even after I lost the baby to make sure my numbers went down and stayed down properly to make sure it wouldn't turn into cancer. She is the one that said she would squeeze me in anytime :) she is so sweet. You are all such amazing women! Truely blessed to have all of you here (I know it is bad... I am not on here enough anymore and have difficult time keeping up!) But none the less you are all amazing and really hope you all get bfp's soon!!!! Hugs and loves!


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## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> Hey Meli,
> 
> I'm following you on pinterest too now :) Yeyyy, that's us, thanks for the compliment!
> 
> Hey, this lady got a bfp with spotting in the tww, she talks about it in detail:
> 
> https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/bfp-announcements/1685137-stunned.html
> 
> Keep the faith x

Hey jasmine,

Thanks for that link....sounds very interesting! I will keep doing more research on that!


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## vegasbaby

Good morning, ladies! Looks like y'all have all had busy weekends.

Stef: I am so sorry about your job. That totally sucks. I hope you find something else soon, but with the move and everything, maybe waiting would be good too. 

Jasmine: Any news on the house? I agree that parenting is a lot easier with a drink or two in you. Unfortunately that isn't considered acceptable most of the time and we all have to do it sober. I've decided that I am not drinking Sunday-Thursday in an effort to become healthier and lose a few pounds. I managed to do it last week, but I did miss my glass of wine with dinner. 

Sweetmomma: Did you know that September 16th is the most common birthday of the year? I posted something a month or so ago about a day in December being the most fertile, so apparently you got the message! Glad to hear that they will check you levels for you as much as you want. I'm hoping I can talk them into the same (heck, I'm used to the blood draws, so why not). In the early weeks the HCG levels rising will be a great comfort. 

Meli: The party sounds like a great success. Isn't symptom spotting the worst? I swear every month is different and so you think, 'Oh, this must be it!'. I can tell you that both times I got a bfp were quite different from one another. The only thing that was the same was that I started cramping before I normally would, but both time I figured I would just be starting earlier than normal. Have you considered taking B6? I just started my vitamins again and I take 50mg of B6 every day to improve my luteal phase as it helps with regulating progesterone. The pills are pretty cheap and I've gotten good results with it. Just a thought. 

Angel: Do you think you've O'd yet? I started following you on Pinterest, here is mine if you want to follow: https://pinterest.com/krafty713/ I love wasting time on Pinterest, but I have found some good recipes there.

Jenk: I can't imagine weather so cold. If it were that cold here I think DH and I would have ten kids because what else can you do? Actually, we'd just end up eating too much and watching even more TV if it were that cold. CD 42, you are almost as bad as me. My usual cycles are about 33 days long with a shorter (10-11 day) luteal phase. I went on Provera once about a year before I had Charlotte because I went off the pill and never got af. I went to the doctor like three months later and she put me on the Provera, but then I went back on the pill. When I went off the pill six months later I got my bfp right away so maybe it helped. If this next cycle is still off I think I'll talk to my doctor.

AFM: I am so glad AF started when it did because it is heavy! It also has an orange-red appearance as some of you have had. I googled it and I think it is because I had the D&C and my lining is thin as WebMD said orange may indicated only an outer layer has been shed or that I may not have ovulated. I know my temps went up, but I didn't do OPK's to confirm, so who knows. 

I spent the weekend digging plants up and transplanting them to my yard. We have a huge corner lot and because our house had been abandoned for six years when we bought it, everything but the oak trees had died. We fixed up the inside and the back yard first and now we are finally doing the front. We weren't planning on doing it now, but since my neighbor is tearing down his house in two weeks to build a new one and offered us his plants, we figured we should start now while we can get our hands on some really nice, free plant material. Needless to say, my arms, legs, back and feet are killing me! I'm a designer not an installer and all this manual labor is so tiring! 

Had a talk with dh last night and he does want to start TTC as soon as I think we are in the clear with my bloodwork. If my periods return to their normal length and I start in April then I have calculated I could have a New Year's eve/day baby. Of course getting pregnant right away is unlikely, but I just can't help projecting due dates. I'm sure I'm setting myself up for disappointment. Also, he says if we don't have luck this time (another mc) then he wants to look into adoption. This freaks me out a bit. Have any of you ever considered this? Well, I'm off to spend my last day as a stay-at-home-mom working in the yard.


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## sweetmommaof2

Wow! That's funny! It's probably because its cold so more snuggling, and good moods because the holiday cheer ;) lol


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## Middysquidge

Hey Vegas, you'll only have like one or two more cycles then until you can start ttc? It'll come round really quick! Especially if you keep working at the rate you have been! You say you're a designer by profession, me too! What do you design? I'm in magazine design, page design! 

With regards to the house, we have completed the application forms just today, they put a typo in my email address so it has delayed things somewhat! iI'm slightly worried that I have messed everything up though, I don't normally 'do' worrying, it's horrible being a worry wort but this house is turning me into one! I think I have annoyed the letting agents by pestering them a bit too often with regard to not getting my application form through (due to typo) I rang twice, emailed once and she sounded annoyed. Also, I rang them to say that a couple of our accounts would show up as defaulted but it was onky cos we have undertaken a five year debt plan with a national charity, I explained it was all above board but she basically made me feel like I was hiding it. Her tone wasn't very nice. Anyway, we just have to wait and see what they come back with. They will be getting employer and landlord references this week and doing credit checks on us. It would probably be fine if there wasn't so much competition for the house, I don't think we'll get it but should find out end of the week or beginning of next week! I suppose what will be will be though, there's bound to be more houses out there that we love, we know what we want now!

I'm following you now on pinterest, you and Charlotte are gorgeous btw x x


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## Meli_H

*Jasmine*

Hopefully this week goes by really fast so you can find out about the house, one way or another! You have a good attitude-even if you dont get this house, now you at least know what you want!

*Angel,*

I found you on Pinterest and am following you now! Luv the pic of Carter-he looks like hes dreaming/gazing off into the sunset.

*Hey Vegas,*

Thats rightI remember that you posted Sep 16th is the most common bday of the year. That is too hilarious, esp now that its now applicable to sweetmomma!

YESSS is the worst!!! As you mentioned, this cycle is already so different from my first cycle. If Im not in the middle of symptom spotting, then I dont know what I am!!! I think I already mentioned that for the past couple of days, the left side of my lower back has been sore, like a pulled muscle sensation, but I really didnt read anything into it. Well, last night (7DPO) while I was laying in bed, I had such pain/uncomfortable bloated feeling in my left side lower pelvic region. I cant say I was crying in pain, but it was pretty uncomfortable and really noticeableeven if I wasnt SSing! Then this morning I found more brown discharge than the previous 2 daysthe amount was pretty noticeable, esp since it had tapered off for the last couple of days. Now, this afternoon, those symptoms have now subsided noticeably, not completely, but I only feel them if I make the effort and concentrate on finding/feeling them. The pressure seemed to go away this morning after I *ahem* used the restroom, so I wonder if being constipated caused it? But, if I was constipated, would it really be only one side of my stomach that was uncomfortable? If I am truly not pg, my mind and body will have played an extremely cruel joke on me. I was so sure this morning that I even mentioned it to DH and got him all excited--now I'm wishing I never mentioned it to him...

Thanks for the B6 idea. Ive been kicking around the idea and I think I will add it to my daily cocktail of supplements lol! Why not?

You scored with your neighbors offer of free plant material! Landscaping softscape material is so expensive. Gardening is a hobby of min; I love changing out our seasonal plants. I feel your pain-gardening is such good exercise and Im so sore allover afterwardsit doesnt look hard, but it is, and my body feels it for a couple days afterwards

Thats interesting you also have experienced the orangey-red dischargeyou mentioned your research stated it may be due to thin lining because of d&c, or that one didnt ovulate..In my case, I didnt have a d&c, and I did confirm that I od this month thanks to temping and FF, so now Im worried that I have a thin lining just due to the mc.oh well, just hoping that my dr refers me to an ob/gyn next month.

You never knowa xmas/NY baby would be a wonderful start to 2014! Theres no reason why you couldnt get pg right away once you ttcu will still be in the supposed more fertile stage after a mc, right?

We havent talked about adoption, but he did mention that if pg doesnt happen naturally, and soon, he does want to go to a fertility specialist and pay out of pocket for the whole process(because our health insurance doesnt cover fertility services). Now that has freaked me out!

Im following you on Pinterest now! Lovely pic of you and Charlotteyall are so photogenic! I find it hard to believe that both you and Jasmine are having a tough time recently, and that Charlotte and Eva are both acting up-they both look like they could say who, me? Im an angel! LOL


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## jennc

Hey ladies! I know I haven't been posting in awhile. I'll explain later but I say this online and thought of our group.


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## Middysquidge

I've added you in my signature now sweetmomma with a flashing BFP, yaaaayyy! Hope that's okay!

Meli, really really best of luck, I'm wishing you get a BFP so much, come on second one of the grouupppppp! 

I'm cd1, horrid nasty af came but I'm glad cos I think it means I won't miss my big 'o' this month, whoop whoop! x x x


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## angel2010

Jasmine, hope you get the house!!!
Meli, FX!!
Jenn, thanks for sharing! Talk to you soon!
Jenk, still in the waiting game?
Vegas, April isn't far off, if we don't get it this cycle, I will be there with you.

AFM, still waiting to O. I had some red spotting yesterday when I checked my cm. There was a teeny bit when I wiped, but never any on my pantyliner. I am now on cd 14. I could o anytime between today and cd 22 (previous cycles were 35 days). Hope it happens soon though, I don't want to keep having daily sex thinking it is about to happen!:sleep:


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## Meli_H

*JennC,*

I like what you shared-thank you!

*Jenkb,*

What's up??? have you tested again?? FX!! :dust:

*Jasmine,*

Glad to hear that you wont miss your O next month :happydance: Now you can really enjoy yourself during your hens weekend! Can you believe its almost here-your ttc time? 

*Angel,*

GL catching the egg!!! FX! :dust::dust:

AFM, I took a FRER this morning (9dpo) and of course, BFN :nope: I would like to wait until Thursday before re-testing, but I have a feeling that I wont be able to wait, and will re-test tomorrows FMU.sighmore money down the drain :growlmad: The only reason that I am madly testing is because of my symptoms on 7dpoI will feel so STUPID if not pg. *I do solemnly swear that if I am not pg this month, I will no longer test earlyI mean it!  *


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## jennc

Okay, I had a lot of catching up to do. First, I would like to point out the obvious at this point I think that just about all of us are playing the "what if" game. What makes it worse is that our bodies can't decide what they are doing. GRRRRRR!!!! I am also going to give out a warning about Provera. I started it when I was 20 and stayed on it for 7 years. After that I went on the pill and had a very regular period which I could predict down to the minute. However, one or the other or both apparently made my lining really thin. It wasn't something I had even thought about before this group but when I talked with my ob, she said it was very possible that it caused my mc. I'm not saying not to use it, just be cautious. Oh, I should probably explain why I haven't been on. My husband and I share a computer and he does most of his work on the computer. Not only that, he isn't exactly supportive of my involvement with the site. I was on here the other day and he says to me, "Don't you think it's about time to be done with that?" He didn't really mean it like it came out. He just wants me to try to focus more on trying again. What he doesn't understand is that, this site doesn't make me dwell on the bad, it actually helps me stay positive about trying again and gives me a chance to get things out that I know he wouldn't be happy about me venting. I was actually crying with my mother yesterday over the whole thing. It just seems like right now too much is changing and I have very little control over any of it. I studied psychology, so I know what that lack of control can do to a person. I'm also worried about the fact that not working as much is making me sleep more, a lot more which from my past experiences tells me is never a good sign. Crying is usually how I work through things and I feel like it makes him so uncomfortable. He just wants me to be happy... all the time.

Momma- Really happy for you. It's also great that your doc is so cool. My ob is also that way. I think she fully anticipates me being there every couple of days when I get pregnant again. She also guaranteed that she will do an early detection sono at 6 weeks and a day since 6 weeks was when I miscarried.

Stef- I'm sorry they let you go but maybe this will open you up to something better. You know the saying, "God doesn't shut a door without opening another." 

Megan- I am praying that you are pg. My thoughts are with you.

Jasmine- I'm sorry that you were having a bad day but it was really funny to hear about your drunken dancing to disney music. Don't let anyone criticize. there is nothing wrong with that. I hope everything goes well with the house. Be hopeful too!

Vegas- I am sooo jealous of the weather. I used to live in Georgia and sometimes (especially when it is below 0 and we got like a foot of snow last night) I miss it sooo much. Good luck with the new job Tues! I'll be rooting for you. There is nothing wrong with a glass of wine with dinner. In fact, wine is probably the most beneficial health-wise. I have been having a half glass here and there. That is really awesome about the new plants and it gave you an excuse to fix up the front. I'm sorry to hear that your hubby doesn't want to ttc again right away. Mine is almost literally counting down the days. I think he figures I will snap out of my funk that way. The good news for you is that he is okay with adopting. Mine is not and we are poor white folk so if we can't carry to term, there goes my chances of a child. I think it's great. To me, it's easy to love your own kids, it's hard to love and care for someone else's. I work as a behavior specialist for kids and I have this one parent who is raising three kids that aren't hers in addition to three that are. I sometimes forget that she is even not their biological mom, she's so wonderful with them. Try to view is as an opportunity to bring love and joy into a child's life. In a lot of cases, it can be the best thing that child ever had.

Angel- That humping picture does make me giggle. I too am an avid pinterest lover! Is it okay if I follow everyone? Mine is just under Jenn Cornman, I think. Mine's the one with lost of recipes and behavior based info.

Jenk- How do you deal with 3-4 week periods? You must be a saint disguised as a person! I think I would lose my sanity with a period that long. That must be really hard, especially when you are ttc. You have to wait so much longer. I'm sorry for that. For all of that! None of it sounds like fun.

Meli- Here's hoping you are! and just when you thought you were out for the month. B6 is never a bad thing. The good news of that too is that whatever your body doesn't need it just pees out. I give you fair warning that it could turn your pee a greenish color but it's normal. My husband freaked out the first time he saw the green and demanded I discontinue it until he got the okay from my ob. I hear yo about the fertility docs. Like I said, we wouldn't be able to do it because we couldn't afford it. So, here is to sincerely hoping we can do it the natural way, for all of us.

There, I think I am caught up.
Due to the hubby situation, I can't guarantee when I will be on next but I will check in as often as I can. Prayers are with everyone, especially since it is coming around the time everyone will be getting to try again. Happy Humping!


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## vegasbaby

Meli: Just give up and buy a bunch of the internet cheapie HPT's. I swear they are just as sensitive as the FRER's. All the testing you want, for a fraction of the price. It will keep you sane. 

Jasmine: Your photo on Pinterest is so pretty! For some reason I imagined that you were a brunette. Must be the Aladdin thing. Magazine design sounds like fun. I'm a landscape architect. 

Angel: Good luck with all the :sex:. Hope you O soon so you can get a break.

Jenn: That poem/quote says it all, doesn't it?

AFM: I am on my lunch break from my orientation day. The people at orientation are nice, but none work in my department so I'll never see them again. We have been going over benefits all day so it is pretty boring. I came home as it was close (and I wanted to let the dogs out), but now I have to go back. Sorry if I've missed anyone.


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## Meli_H

*Jennc,*

I know what you mean about the computer. DH works from home, and he has his computer in the home office. We actually had a second computer in one of our spare bedrooms, thats where my stepson does his HW and Ill use that computer if DH is using his. Well, that second computer broke down about a month ago.I dont want to suggest or ask when were buying a new computer, due to the holidays, and the fact that we are re-doing the front yard, and he just bought plantation shutters for the whole house..Im afraid if I ask about the computer, hell say well, why dont you buy itIm spending all this money on the yard and shutters lol! Soooooooo, Im fine with jumping on his computer when hes not using it (which is not very often), or using my Nook (although I hate typing on that-not very user friendly at all, but its great to read/browse the internet). When Im at work is when Im able to post the most!

My DH also used to give me a hard time about being on this site. After numerous discussions with him, and especially after our last blowout, and yall listened to me rant and rave like a lunatic, and talked some sense into me, he finally recognizes that BnB is helping me, not hurting me. He has seen me focused on ttc for the last couple months, so I know that helped. Now he calls BnB my internet porn lol! Hell see me online and say whatcha doing? and I respond, oh, u know, just my internet porn lol!

MY DH also doesnt like me crying--and I am such an emotional person and cry at the drop of the hat! I hate it!! I refuse to watch sad movies because I cry! He also wants me to be happy, all the time, like ur DH. They feel uncomfortable and just want to make things all better. *I hope that your DH comes around to understanding and supporting you in doing the things that make you feel better, even if he doesnt understand or agree with it all. *Thank goodness you have your mother to vent to--at least she understands, Im sure. Big hugs to you!!! :hugs: I hope your DH comes around soon

PS-Im following you on pinterest


*Vegas*

You crack me up==just give up and buy the ICs lol! I plan to do just that-give up and buy a bunch of the internet cheapie HPTs next week, if Im not pg (look at me, still holding on to a sliver of hope :dohh: ). I think Stef said she listed some on ebay-Ill buy them from her if hers are still available.

You made me lol when you mentioned that you imagined Jasmine as a brunette due to the Aladdin thing! Too funny, but it makes sense!

I didnt know that your new job is close enough to to your house to stop by on your lunch break! Thats awesome!! :happydance:


----------



## angel2010

Meli_H said:


> *I do solemnly swear that if I am not pg this month, I will no longer test earlyI mean it!  *

We will help hold you to this!!!!


----------



## angel2010

Glad you had a good first part of the day Vegas, hope the second part goes well too!!!!

Jenn, have you shown your oh the ttc part of this site!! Where are you located? Your job sounds very interesting. Do you work with a specific age group? 
I am not following you on pinterest. Also, when are you ttc?

Megan, how are you?


----------



## Meli_H

angel2010 said:


> Meli_H said:
> 
> 
> *I do solemnly swear that if I am not pg this month, I will no longer test earlyI mean it!  *
> 
> We will help hold you to this!!!!Click to expand...

I would sooooooooo appreciate it!! Thank you!! :haha:


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## sweetmommaof2

Jasmine- Yes that is perfectly ok with me! 
I have my fingers crossed for everyone in the 2ww and waiting for ovulation! :) Baby Dust!
UPDATE- So I went in and tested last wedn. and my hcg level was 2159... I went in today and it is now 16,797! I am officially passed the week I was when I miscarried my june angel.
Lots of hugs and loves have a good night ladies


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## angel2010

I am very happy for you Sweetmomma!!! 


Jasmine, some how I didn't read the last sentence of your post earlier! That is fantastic news!!!


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## jenkb123

So it is now cd44. Still no sign of af. I called my doctors office today and talked to the nurse. She said my day 25 blood test showed that I likely didn't ovulate. The longer between cycles the longer af typically sticks around (the last time I had a 50 day cycle af stayed for 4 weeks and the majority of this time it was really heavy). I am going to start Provera today as this seems to be the only thing that helps me to regulate things. Without it my cycles just get further and further apart and last longer and longer which makes ttc so much harder than it already is. I take it for ten days. Once I stop af will come 1-2 days later. The good thing about that is that af will only stay for a week despite the fact that it will be a 54 day cycle. The last time I took Provera (along with the clomid and the trigger shot) I got my one and only bfp. I am hopeful that it will work again. This cycle with just the clomid and no trigger shot (or Provera) resulted in a cycle where I didn't ovulate and af went on a long vacation. I obviously need to shake things up. I hate taking medication....I would so much rather do things naturally. Unfortunately my body won't cooperate with me. The one positive thing about taking the Provera is that my Feb 6-8 trip won't screw up my follicle tracking for this cycle. If I had started af in the next few days the tracking would have fallen right in the middle of when I would be away which would have meant I would have had to wait another full cycle before I could do it. I feel like I need the tracking and the trigger shot to have any chance at getting a bfp.


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## sweetmommaof2

Jenk- I really hope it works for you! You deserve a BFP!!!! Keep positive! It will happen again!!!!!


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## sweetmommaof2

Ok I hope this doesn't come out cheesy but this is something serious I want to ask all of you... Is it ok for me to still be apart of this thread now that I am preggers again??? Ladies please be honest. I don't want to hurt anyones feelings, You girls are amazing and helped me out alot and the support on this thread is astonishing! The last thing I would ever want is to hurt any of you...


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## angel2010

ABSOLUTELY!!!! Your success only gives us all hope.:flower:


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## angel2010

Good luck Jenk! Don't mean to sound scary, but Jenn posted earlier about Provera possible making uterus linings too thin. I don't have any experience though.


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## jenkb123

Meli - Sounds like your yard will be fabulous when you are done. I am so jealous of all of you who are outside and gardening in warm weather. It is still quite cold here although it has warmed up a bit since Sunday (got as cold as -52 Celsius with the windchill). I do think I would miss the snow if I lived somewhere warm year round though. 

I don't know if I have patience. I am feeling quite impatient at the moment. I really hate my body for making me wait like this. Sorry about your bfn. It is still early though so you are still in with a chance!! I am still hopeful for you!! 
It is so hard to wait to test. Testing early does not usually do anything but cause disappointment. I will join you in your pact not to test early. 

Vegas - That worked out great with the plants. It was really nice of your neighbor to pass them on to you!! Gardening can be a workout!! All the digging, lifting, bending and squatting use muscles you don't use in regular day to day life!! I am so glad to hear your husband is on board with ttc right away once you are able to. My husband and I haven't really talked about adoption yet. I would consider it if I could not have a baby of my own. Part of me feels that if I considered it now I would be admitting that I might never have a baby of my own. I am not ready to do that yet. I think if we were a year down the road with no sticky bfp we would have the conversation though. I think it is nice that your husband has brought it up. To me it seems like he is trying to take the pressure off of you a bit. Like he is saying that he would be happy with another child any way possible and he doesn't want you to have to go through the trauma of more m/c's.

First day down!! On to the second day!! Hope you got all the boring training out of the way and can get down to more interesting work soon!! 

Jasmine - Glad to hear you finally got your application in!! Fx'ed for you. I think you are right though. If it doesn't work out with this one you will find another (better) one!! Figuring out what you want is half the battle!! I'm glad af came earlier than expected. Especially since you will now be home for o time!! 

Angel - Hope o happens soon and you can catch the egg this month!! All of the waiting is tough. It would be nice if there was a clear cut way of knowing exactly what was going on and when things were going to happen. But I guess that would take all the "fun" out of the ttc process. 

jennc - Thanks for the warning about Provera. Unfortunately if I don't take it my body gets more and more out of whack. This will be my third time taking it since last May. When I take it it seems to regulate things for a few months and then af starts taking longer to arrive and staying longer when she gets here. The good thing is since I had monitoring the last time I took it I know that my lining was really good that cycle. I also have had to take Clomid. Higher doses of Clomid are associated with thin linings. I am on a low dose so it hasn't affected me. There are so many things to keep in mind. I am grateful for options though. I really do feel that without medical assistance I would likely not be able to get pregnant. Dealing with 3-4 week periods is incredibly frustrating!! It is much harder to ttc when you have half as many chances in a year. It is almost impossible to know when the timing is right. 

I am sorry to hear your husband doesn't really understand the emotional impact of m/c. It is tough for men to fully understand as they do not go through the process in the same way. Feeling the changes in your body, having the hormones affecting things, having the go through the pain and the bleeding all make things so much more real. It isn't something that you can get over in a few weeks and move on like nothing ever happened. My husband is very solution focused. He likes to find the way to fix the problem and move on. It is hard for him to understand me being upset and him not being able to offer a solution to fix it and move on. He also didn't have the same attachment to the baby that I did. He was excited about it, he really wants to have kids, but when we lost the baby he was very practical about it and is just looking to the next step and where to go from here. As much as he tries to be supportive, he just doesn't understand how I feel. It is so amazing to have a group of people to talk to that do understand exactly how I feel. It isn't about dwelling on things or being stuck in a negative place. It is about getting those feelings out and finding hope in success stories from other people. You can definitely come here and talk to us when you are not feeling happy or need to vent. It is a normal part of the healing process. 

Sweetmomma - So glad to hear your numbers are so good!! I can imagine you must feel so relieved to have gotten past the time of your last loss!! 

I completely agree with Angel. Your success give me hope too!! I absolutely think you need to stay part of this thread. I hope we all stay in touch and keep each other updated on our journeys (even after we all get pregnant again!!). 

Stef and Megan - Hope you are both doing ok!! 

Phew....that was a long one!! I really need to post more often so I don't have so much to catch up on!!


----------



## angel2010

Jasmineivy said:


> I've added you in my signature now sweetmomma with a flashing BFP, yaaaayyy! Hope that's okay!

Me too.


----------



## jennc

vegasbaby said:


> AFM: I am on my lunch break from my orientation day. The people at orientation are nice, but none work in my department so I'll never see them again. We have been going over benefits all day so it is pretty boring. I came home as it was close (and I wanted to let the dogs out), but now I have to go back. Sorry if I've missed anyone.

Aren't orientation days the worst!!



Meli_H said:


> * Now he calls BnB my internet porn lol! Hell see me online and say whatcha doing? and I respond, oh, u know, just my internet porn lol!
> 
> MY DH also doesnt like me crying--and I am such an emotional person and cry at the drop of the hat! I hate it!! I refuse to watch sad movies because I cry! He also wants me to be happy, all the time, like ur DH. They feel uncomfortable and just want to make things all better. I hope that your DH comes around to understanding and supporting you in doing the things that make you feel better, even if he doesnt understand or agree with it all. Thank goodness you have your mother to vent to--at least she understands, Im sure. Big hugs to you!!!  I hope your DH comes around soon
> 
> PS-Im following you on pinterest
> 
> That's funny he calls it internet porn lol. It is good that I have my mom but she is not in a good way herself. She internalizes a lot of her problems which has actually literally caused a hole in her stomach. She worries so much about her kids, I just can't bring it to her all the time because then she stresses even more and the doctor told her that if she continued that way, she was going to get stomach cancer. I'm almost thinking I need a therapist for a little while. I've always been told that the best mental health workers see mental health workers of their own. Sometimes it gets so hard to deal with other people's problems all the time. Most of my family just assumes that because I work in mental health that I can deal with my problems on my own without talking them out. Common misconception!
> 
> 
> *

*



angel2010 said:
↑

Jenn, have you shown your oh the ttc part of this site!! Where are you located? Your job sounds very interesting. Do you work with a specific age group? 
I am not following you on pinterest. Also, when are you ttc?

I live in Pennsylvania. My job is interesting and I love it so much, I don't want to leave it. But they aren't giving me much choice. I'm a full time employee and I'm only getting 19 hours a week. Even without a baby, it's not enough to provide for my husband and me. I work with two 5 year olds and a 14 year old right now. I will be so sad to leave them but my 14 year old may not have hours after May and my twins will be done in June. Yep, I work with two red headed twin brothers. They crack me up when they aren't being stubborn pains in the butt. I've pretty much gone from 4-19 throughout my career. That's why I'm considering psychiatric nursing since I already have a pretty good mental health background.Click to expand...




jenkb123 said:
↑

So it is now cd44. Still no sign of af. I called my doctors office today and talked to the nurse. She said my day 25 blood test showed that I likely didn't ovulate. The longer between cycles the longer af typically sticks around (the last time I had a 50 day cycle af stayed for 4 weeks and the majority of this time it was really heavy). Sorry you didn't O. That would be so frustrating with your periods so far apart. I will pray that it gets better for you.Click to expand...




sweetmommaof2 said:
↑

Ok I hope this doesn't come out cheesy but this is something serious I want to ask all of you... Is it ok for me to still be apart of this thread now that I am preggers again??? Ladies please be honest. I don't want to hurt anyones feelings, You girls are amazing and helped me out alot and the support on this thread is astonishing! The last thing I would ever want is to hurt any of you...

I think all of us fully expect you to continue to post. I agree that it gives us all some hope for the future and hopefully most of us will be joining you soon. Congrats on the high numbers!Click to expand...




jenkb123 said:
↑

I don't know if I have patience. I am feeling quite impatient at the moment. I really hate my body for making me wait like this. Sorry about your bfn. It is still early though so you are still in with a chance!! I am still hopeful for you!! 
It is so hard to wait to test. Testing early does not usually do anything but cause disappointment. I will join you in your pact not to test early. 

I have been feeling like that a lot lately too. I swear yesterday I was like pacing the house and I had no idea why! I think my hubby will come around eventually. He is also one of those solution focused guys. I really think most are. If you consider history, men have traditionally thought women were crazy simply because of their emotions. They called it "hysteria." The cure for it was "the big O" which my husband apparently picked up on somewhere in his life because when I'm upset, he wants to do it. Not exactly the first thing on my mind, but I usually humor him and at least make him think that made me feel better.Click to expand...

*


----------



## Meli_H

*Hey Jenkb!*

Yes, theyve made fantastic progress on our yard, but rain is forecast for tmo and Friday, argh!!!! Im going to have a huge mud pit for our front yard. So sorry to hear of all your issues with your cycleI really dont know how you do it. You must really have some patience for that, so not testing early during the tww should be a piece of cake for you, riiigghhttht? (Im trying to be positive here) lol.

I liked the words you offered to jennc, about the issues she is having with her DH. I couldnt have put them better myself!

*Vegas,*

You know, I thought more about your adoption question, and I dont think I can adopt. I know there are so many children out there that need a good home, but Im not sure if DH would want to adopt, nor do I think I would either. Part of the reason is because DH already has a 20 y/o daughter (shes away at college and is pre-med) and a 14 y/o son. I dont really know his DD, since she was never part of his life after he got divorced when she was 5 y/o and his ex-wife moved across the state with her, long story it was a horrendous custody battle but needless to say, there wasnt a great relationship with her. Since she went away to college and has been away from her mothers influence, she seeked out DH and they have had a great relationship). We have primary (80% custody) of his DS. Ive been in his life since he was 2 y/o and have watched him grow up, and heck, helped raise him! He is a wonderful little boy/young man. The greatest EVER! He is so loving, and thoughtful, and sweet, and empathetic, and agreeable, and mellow. I cant say enough good things about him, I am so blessed to have him in my life. I am the middle child, and have 2 brothers. My younger brother has a 13 y/o boy, 11 y/o boy, and 7 y/o girl. I LOVE my niece and nephews to death. They love to come over and spend the weekends with us, we do lots of fun things together. Some backstory-my younger brother and I resemble each other very strongly, my friends always said if you put a mop on my brothers head to resemble long hair, that would be me lol! Anyways, when we found out he was having a girl, I was just a little sad, and told my mom, I am the only girl in the family! I refuse to be dethroned from my special place! The only one I wouldnt feel bad in dethroning me would be if I had a little girl lol! Then a few days later, I told my mom Wouldnt it be funny if this baby looks like me? If I never have a DD, at least well know what she would have looked like I was just being silly. Well, turns out from birth, this little girl looked JUST like me. She is such a doll, beautiful sweet personality, and literally is my mini-me. People always assume she is my DD, and they say she looks nothing like her mother! Too funny--genetics, and how they all work themselves out.
Sorry to ramble, but I guess my point is that I am perfectly content to help raise my 14 y/o SS, and to spoil and baby my niece and nephews, and be the best auntie ever! If I was not meant to have a baby, I dont think I would chase it. Im glad you asked that question-it forced me to think about it.

*Sweetmomma,*

How thoughtful of you to ask, I would love for you to stay on this thread, I, myself, *dont.want.to.ever.ever.leave.this.thread *lol!! Please stay!!!!!!

*AFM,* 
currently 10DPO, I am ashamed to say that I broke down and tested this morning..againof course another bfn I* only tested today because fertility friend said I had a triphasic chart, and it got me all excited, I swear I swear I swear thats the only reason why I broke down this morning and tested lol! **Stupid FF!* If not for her, I wouldnt have caved (yah, right). I know a triphasic chart doesnt mean you are pg, and I know that you can be pg without a triphasic chart, but FF and I just *HAD *to go there.Not to mention that I am so *NOT* having any noticeable cramping or ovarian twinges at all! All is quiet down there and seems like theres not much going on in my lil old uterus :growlmad:


----------



## Meli_H

angel2010 said:


> Jasmineivy said:
> 
> 
> I've added you in my signature now sweetmomma with a flashing BFP, yaaaayyy! Hope that's okay!
> 
> Me too.Click to expand...

Me too!


----------



## Meli_H

*jennc,*

I think thats a great idea for you to see a therapist. I have heard the stats that people who work in the mental health field, need help themselves, because they spend all their time dealing with other people's problems. That's a big burden!

Omg you totally made me lol when you said The cure for it was "the big O" which my husband apparently picked up on somewhere in his life because when I'm upset, he wants to do it. Not exactly the first thing on my mind, but I usually humor him and at least make him think that made me feel better. *Thats me too*-- I do the same thing and try to humor him!!


----------



## angel2010

Jenk, :hugs: hope the provera works like last time!

Jenn, psychiatric nursing sound like a very fulfilling career! And I am sure it would be hard to leave the kids you got so close to!

Meli, 10dpo is still early. FX!

When I found out I was pregnant, we cleaned out a drawer of the dresser to put all my pregnancy related stuff (journal, birth books, etc). After the miscarriage, I put away everything from sight in there, like the ultrasound pic. I haven't really went through it yet, I just haven't felt ready. I plan to get a box, I guess not having the box is holding me back from going through it. I was just thinking that I need to get it soon, so that when I get pregnant again it doesn't seem like the new pregnancy is "wiping out " the old one. Like taking out everything to replace it with new stuff. This has been weighing on my mind.


----------



## vegasbaby

Angel: Isn't it amazing how the little things can weigh on us? A week or so after the MC, I placed the ultrasound photo with some other photos and then I threw out everything my dr had given me that related to pregnancy. On the other hand I realized I still have the baby name book in my nightstand. I guess I keep it there in hopes that I will need to use it one day, but I've moved the things directly related to my angel. Hope you will be able to face all of your baby items soon. 

Sweetmomma: Please stay with us! We love having your here. Part of me thinks we should move this thread to another area. Although we will never forget our angels, I think most of us are ready to move on to the next step. 

Jasmine: Any word on the house or have you had a chance to look at anything new?

Jenk: Good luck on the Provera. I think you will be OK as you don't use it all that often. It really helped me the time I took it. Sometimes our bodies just need to be told what to do. 

Jenn: We must have been posting at the same time the other day. My DH doesn't really understand my need to be on BnB, and I've been on here for years! He finally realized that it does have value during this whole MC ordeal. I also primarily post while he is at work, so he has no idea how much time I'm on here. 

Meli: I'm glad you had a chance to think about adoption. It appears as though you have had some amazing children in your life. I truly do hope you get one of your own too as you seem too be so loving and totally prepared. I would like to have one more just because I really believe my daughter needs a sibling and since neither of us were only children we would just like more than one child. I'm not a huge fan of adoption, but if we don't have another baby in let's say two years, I think we will go for it. Also, and this is unrelated, but I don't live that close to work. The training was close by, but my real job is about ten miles away (still much closer than you are to work!). 

Stef: What have you been up to? 

AFM: Work has been great. The people I work with are so nice and laid back. They made me a huge welcome sign for my new office (well, cubicle, but I do have a window). I think I am really going to enjoy working again and I believe this job is the perfect fit. Charlotte seems to be enjoying daycare and even cried the first two days when I went to pick her up as she wanted to stay. I'm also grateful for the job as it is taking my mind off all the baby stuff. I just feel very content right now, and I haven't felt this way since before the mc.


----------



## Megan1986

How are you ladies going? I have having either beginning on af (due next week) or ib.


----------



## angel2010

Vegas, thank you. I think once I have a box it will feel better because it will all be going someplace special and someplace I can pull it out to remember any time I want.

Megan, FX for you!!! Keep us updated!!

Stef, where you at??:haha:

Meli, don't cave today!!!


----------



## Phantom710

Just checkin in on you ladies. How are you all?


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## Meli_H

*Angel,*

I can understand why youd feel that taking out everything to replace with new stuff would be like wiping out the pregnancy with your angel. Hopefully you can find the strength to do this soon, because FX that you get pg again very very quickly!! :dust:

I didnt cave today lol! But thanks for keeping me in check! Today I am 12dpo and my temps have fallen steadily for the last 2 days. Temping has kept me from torturing myself (poas) for the last 2 days. AF should be here Sunday. Oh well..the only consolation is that I seem to be back on a textbook 28 day cycle

*Vegas,*

I was thinking the same thing! I agree with you that we should move this thread to another area. I just dont know who can do that/how we go about doing that??

Thanks for your kind words! Youre so sweet. I totally want to have a child of my own but I just try to look at the blessings that I do have, and to be grateful for them. I agree that Charlotte needs a baby brother or sister! Im sure she would love that.

Im so glad that your work family has welcomed, and are so nice to you. Hey, a cubicle with a window rocks!! I have an office, but it doesn't have a a window. To see what the weathers like outside, I need to actually go outside lol! I think Id prefer your cubicle with a window, tbh.

That's great that Charlotte likes her daycare. Im sure that makes you feel better when you drop her off in the mornings.

Im so happy that youre feeling content and not obsessed with this baby business. It warms my heart. :hug:

*Jasmine,*

Where are you???We miss you! :hugs: Hope youve been busy moving into the place that you submitted the application for (or that youve found another place that you love)!

*Megan,*

FX that youre experiencing IB!!! GL! :dust:

*Phantom,*

Were all just trying to keep it together, I suppose, maybe I should just speak for myself and say, Im just trying to keep it together lol! How are you?

*AFM,*

As I feared, it's rained the last 2 days, and it's supposed to keep raining for the next 3 days. MY FRONT YARD IS A HUGE MUD PIT! I've had to wear shoes to work that I hate, because they get trashed by mud! I hate coordinating clothes with shoes that I don't like anymore lol! Then I have to maneuver into my car without getting mud all over the carpet-DH would just love that...not! I so much hate to drive his car, he treats it like his baby, god forbid anything happens to that car!

During this tww, and last months tww, I prayed a lot and asked God what to do about this whole liver transplant thing for my uncle. I put it all in his hands, and prayed that if I was meant to be a liver donor, then I would not get pregnant, conversely, if I did get pregnant, it obviously was not meant to be for me to donate to him. 

I believe my uncle has a dr.s appt. early next week. He will be told then whether or not he has been accepted as a candidate for the procedure. If he IS accepted, then the next step is for possible donors to fill out extensive medical history paperwork and have complete medical work-ups and evaluations. 

I feel like the timing right now is perfect. I now know I am not pg, and I can stop ttc and throw my hat in the ring. I am really nervous because that means that I have to have this conversation again with DH*and I am so not looking forward to it.* I guess I wont broach the subject this weekend, because I still dont even know whether or not my uncle has been accepted as a candidate. BUT, if he is accepted as a candidate, I definitely need to have this discussion early next week with DH. I cant avoid it or put it off because next weekend, we are going to the mountains for the weekend with my extended family. Its an annual family tradition. About 30-40 of us rent a huge mountain home and hang out for the weekend. I just know that this whole liver thing will be a hot topic of conversation.I really wish that I could go through the whole medical evaluation testing process without even letting DH know, because I may not even be selected as a viable candidate to donate. There are more things that they look at (besides being the same blood type as the recipient), they have to do more extensive tissue typing tests, etc). Id totally hate to have all these issues with DH for nothing (if Im rejected as a suitable donor). I am feeling somewhat down, but need to try to have a good weekend with him (Ive been pmsing the past few days and have not been in the nicest mood). I need to do some MAJOR butt kissing this weekend and DTD a few times before af comes.sighI HATE kissing butt.but at least I can have some wine, right?? :wine:

I hope everyone has a great weekend!!


----------



## Phantom710

I am well. Been thinking of you all lately :flower:

We (the parents and I) have transferred again, and are cautiously pregnant, although all the numbers and signs are much better than their Poor June Baby.


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## Meli_H

Phantom710 said:


> I am well. Been thinking of you all lately :flower:
> 
> We (the parents and I) have transferred again, and are cautiously pregnant, although all the numbers and signs are much better than their Poor June Baby.

CONGRATULATIONS!! :dust::dust::dust: What's the EDD?


----------



## angel2010

Phantom710 said:


> I am well. Been thinking of you all lately :flower:
> 
> We (the parents and I) have transferred again, and are cautiously pregnant, although all the numbers and signs are much better than their Poor June Baby.

That is wonderful news!!!! Congrats!!!


----------



## angel2010

Meli, I am sorry that you are out this cycle. You said you dh said before that if you did the liver transplant, then he was out. Do you think he is serious? I surely hope not and hope that you two can come to an understanding. I am also sorry about your yard. Have a great time this weekend though, it sounds like tons of fun!!


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## Meli_H

angel2010 said:


> Meli, I am sorry that you are out this cycle. You said you dh said before that if you did the liver transplant, then he was out. Do you think he is serious? I surely hope not and hope that you two can come to an understanding. I am also sorry about your yard. Have a great time this weekend though, it sounds like tons of fun!!

Hi Angel,

I hope to God he isn't serious. I'm praying that he comes around to my way of thinking about this. These last 2 months, I've shown him that I have been serious about ttc, and I DID do ALL I could these last couple cycles to concieve, but it just hasn't happened yet. I am praying he said those words in a moment of anger. I just really need him to support me and not add on more stress and anguish to this whole process-because as you can imagine, it just adds on more layers of complications to this mess, because guess what? I am scared! I am afraid of what the future holds for me if I do put a hold on ttc! Will it affect my health or will i have adverse effects down the road? Will I have missed my chance to concieve if I wait any longer? I dont know, but I just have to move forward and trust in God. I feel in my heart that I have to do this. I cannot--will not--sit by and watch a loved one die, when I could have done something about it. There is no doubt in my mind--from the moment I learned of the situation--I decided that if I was able to, I would do it. End of story. And I hope he can support me and be there for me, or at the very least, agree to it.


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## Middysquidge

Hello Everyone, :thumbup:

I'm sorry for my absence, I've been so busy lately! I've been coming on and reading all of the posts but just haven't had time to reply and the longer I have left it the more time it takes to reply because we're all so busy! We're all so busy with all things non-baby related which is the ironic thing because we all just want babies! Hehe! I'm happy to be busy with other things though as it does take my mind off ttc! (Well almost!) It's snowing here in the UK atm, really heavy snow! It's pretty and all but it also does make everything very hard! Like you Meli, I'm having to co-ordinise all of my outifts with some really unflattering 4 year old ugg boots! :shrug:

The good news is it looks like we have got the house we wanted! The town house, yaaayyyy! They choose us from all of the three applicants to go through for referencing, it has all come back fine and the credit checks we're just waiting for Shane's reference to come back fine and if it does, it's ours! We'll hopefully find out on Monday, I'll keep you posted! 

I also agree that we should move the thread! Maybe we could start a new one in the ttc forum? I'm not sure which one, whether the ttc after a loss or the regular ttc but I think it's safe to say we're all ttc now! I deffo want us all to stay together wherever we go :hugs:

jenkb123 - good luck with the provera hun, I hope that it regulates your cycles for you so that you can get back on track. Whatever it takes to get your little bean, it looks like you have found the magic combination now, all the best of luck. :hugs:

Sweetmommaof2 - I can't believe you asked that if you could still be in this thread! Hehe, you started this thread, of course you can! We love having you here! How's the pregnancy going? It's great news about your levels and you made it past your mc week! Yaaay!

Angel, that's a great idea about the memory box. I think I will feel a little guilty when I get pg again but I'll never forget my angel, I will think of him and all of our precious angels every June I hope. I like your new piccy of Carter, he's so cute! I'd love a son!

Vegas - I'm so happy that your new job is going well, doesn't it make all the difference to have great people to work with! It really won't be long until your ttc again, things are moving on for us all, I'm so happy! Really great news about Charlotte's daycare, that is half the battle! Eva never wants to go to nursery! Sometimes she makes it so hard to leave her there! It is a good nursery and she does enjoy it once we have gone, she's just a diva! Eva diva that's what we call her! :haha: I'm so happy that you're feeling content, this house is making me feel that way too! 

Megan1986 - what was the bleeding? Good luck! 

Phantom - so happy that you are pregnant again! That's fab! Congrats!

Meli - last but not least hehe! Just wanted to say I'm so sorry that af got you! You're dilema with ttc is such a hard one but I think it's admirable that you are helping your uncle. A woman's desire for a baby is so strong, I know that some women would not stop ttc if faced in the same situation. Do you have to be compatible with him in order for it to go ahead? Will you be ttc in the meantime? Your mountain trip sounds like fun, I hope that you have a good time and that the hot topic doesn't stress you out too much. I'm sorry about the yard too, you need some good luck! I guess it's out of your hands for now and what will be will be! Don't give up hope on ttc, my mum had twins at 44! And Shane's mum was 44 when she had him! You still have plenty of time! :hugs:

Well, it's cd4 for me, I have my digital opks and I should 'o' in time! We have a busy month this month, hopefully moving 16th Febraury, hen weekened in London, Shane's stag in Madrid, what a jetsetter! and ttc! Phewf! It's all so exciting though, I can't wait! Lots of love everyone x x x


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## vegasbaby

Phantom: Congrats :happydance:! I'm sure you are pleased and the parents are over the moon. I know it is early days, but I know this will be the one. Also, don't you know how to change a thread over? I believe you may have done this with the June board. Is it as simple as telling admin that you want to switch?

Meli: You have done everything right with TTC. Are you going to try again this cycle or will wait until after the liver info is processed? Either way, baby or liver, you are giving life. As you said, you're not sure if you are a match, but I understand wanting to help if at all possible. I certainly hope your dh can see your point of view on this. 

Jasmine: Hooray on getting the house :thumbup:! Things seem to be going your way so perhaps a bfp is next up. Eva diva is too cute. These little people sure do have loads of personality, don't they?! Charlotte has not been sleeping through the night in over a month (she used to go 12 hours) so I am bribing her with ice cream. I told her if she stayed in bed all night I would let her have pink ice cream for breakfast. She did it. Funny, what a little motivation will do for a three year old. Sounds like you have a busy few weeks coming up. Best of luck with the move. 

Nothing much to say. I had a successful first week of work. Everyone is very nice. Usually the first few weeks\months at a new job are a bit awkward, but I'm not feeling that at all. Charlotte did manage to cling on to my leg and cry when I went to drop her off at daycare on Friday. I think she's still getting used to her new schedule. On the other hand, when I picked her up she was super happy, so all is well. AF has finally gone and so now I am temping to see what this cycle will look like. Obviously I will not be TTC this cycle, but I do want to get a good idea of when I will ovulate so when the time comes I don't waste tests (or bd unnecessarily:haha:) . BTW, I know some of you work, so when do you use your OPKs? I used to do them at about 2pm, but I can't imagine doing my little science experiment at work. I suppose it is possible, but how do you do this discretely? OK, off to go play in the garden.


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## jennc

Meli_H said:


> *
> 
> Vegas,
> 
> You know, I thought more about your adoption question, and I dont think I can adopt. I know there are so many children out there that need a good home, but Im not sure if DH would want to adopt, nor do I think I would either. Part of the reason is because DH already has a 20 y/o daughter (shes away at college and is pre-med) and a 14 y/o son.
> *

*

I liked your response to the question too. Unfortunately, I don't get to see my nieces and nephews as often as a would like to and we don't have any other part children or anything like that. It must be really nice to have such a great stepson that you care for as if he was yours. I mean, really when you think about it, you have adopted a child. He just happens to be the biological child of your husband. You still took him into your life and I think that's great.



Meli_H said:
↑

jennc,

I think thats a great idea for you to see a therapist. I have heard the stats that people who work in the mental health field, need help themselves, because they spend all their time dealing with other people's problems. That's a big burden!

Omg you totally made me lol when you said The cure for it was "the big O" which my husband apparently picked up on somewhere in his life because when I'm upset, he wants to do it. Not exactly the first thing on my mind, but I usually humor him and at least make him think that made me feel better. Thats me too-- I do the same thing and try to humor him!!Click to expand...

I swear, anytime the smallest thing comes up with any of my family, I am the first one called! But they usually don't seem to have time for me when it's my problem and some would offer little console anyway. I love them all but for some reason, my siblings are slightly selfish people. Which I guess I don't understand because none of the four of us grew up as only children. And it's not just my family lol. My husband's family will call and say "shrink me" lol. Just the other day, I spent like an hour on the phone with his mom, helping her get stuff done at the house when she felt overwhelmed. It does take it out on me sometimes, but really only I have something going on that I need to vent about or work through. That's why this site has been very helpful. I've really considered starting to keep a journal too. I was keeping one when I was pregnant, why not keep one while we are waiting to conceive again? 



angel2010 said:
↑

When I found out I was pregnant, we cleaned out a drawer of the dresser to put all my pregnancy related stuff (journal, birth books, etc). After the miscarriage, I put away everything from sight in there, like the ultrasound pic. I haven't really went through it yet, I just haven't felt ready. I plan to get a box, I guess not having the box is holding me back from going through it. I was just thinking that I need to get it soon, so that when I get pregnant again it doesn't seem like the new pregnancy is "wiping out " the old one. Like taking out everything to replace it with new stuff. This has been weighing on my mind.Click to expand...

I'm sorry that it has been too hard to deal with yet. I would say give yourself some time but ttc again may make that more difficult. I have thought before about throwing away my pregnancy journal but at the same time, I might need it. I have been very worried about my response if/when I find out I am pregnant again. I'm still worried that I will be more worried than happy. Maybe the journal will help remind me how happy I was the first time and that I should be even happier at a second chance. After all, a second chance is what brought my husband and I together. I wouldn't rush it though. Just because you get pregnant again doesn't mean you have to go through the stuff yet but I'm sure you also want to move on. Trust me, I understand the ambivalence. My thoughts are with you!



vegasbaby said:
↑

Jenn: We must have been posting at the same time the other day. My DH doesn't really understand my need to be on BnB, and I've been on here for years! He finally realized that it does have value during this whole MC ordeal. I also primarily post while he is at work, so he has no idea how much time I'm on here.Click to expand...

I think he is starting to come around a little. He's just funny. I'm not sure what exactly he thought we talked about on here but I had a bit of a breakdown the other day. I am just so frustrated that everything seems to suck right now and I feel like I can't count on his support. For certain things, he's great but emotions usually aren't his area. He went on and on again about me needing to make some friends. I pointed out that, hello, that's what I'm doing! I'm just talking with people who know what I'm going through. He was more okay with it after I explained that we actually rarely talk about our m/c and talk more about ttc again and other things going on in our lives. I will still try to post when he's not around because, yes, sometimes I get emotional. He should know me enough by now to deal with it. In fact, he can usually tell when I need a good cry. Glad work is going well!



Megan1986 said:
↑

How are you ladies going? I have having either beginning on af (due next week) or ib.Click to expand...

I shouldn't be too far behind you.




vegasbaby said:
↑

Meli: You have done everything right with TTC. Are you going to try again this cycle or will wait until after the liver info is processed? Either way, baby or liver, you are giving life. As you said, you're not sure if you are a match, but I understand wanting to help if at all possible. I certainly hope your dh can see your point of view on this.Click to expand...

I love the way vegas put it, that either way you are giving a life. I hope your husband will come around to it. I wouldn't be comfortable with letting a loved one die either if I could've done something. I'm sure it is difficult though, deciding to help someone when it may mean that you don't get something you want. My heart goes out to you. Keep us posted.

Jasmine- Sooo happy for you about the house! That must be a huge weight off your shoulders.

Phantom- Congrats!

ATM- I was supposed to be working on my paperwork for the last hour or so. After I spilled part of my oreo cheesecake for a get together today, I thought to myself, screw it, I'm not touching my paperwork right now. Which means I will have to do it at the get together but lately I could just care less. I'm tired of fighting with things to work out the way I want. I just give up. It's amazing how even though I'm working less right now, I still feel like I need a vacation lol. Unfortunately, I, myself have been incredibly pissy lately as well as crampy. According to the last cycle, that means af should be here at the end of this week, I think. I sure hope so, I know the mood is not good. I better get in the shower now before I'm late. Wish me luck.*


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## angel2010

Hubby is closing at work tonight and should be home any minute. Ovulation should happen pretty soon, had a few beers and waiting in lingerie..... Hope this is the "baby maker"!!!:haha:


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## Middysquidge

angel2010 said:


> Hubby is closing at work tonight and should be home any minute. Ovulation should happen pretty soon, had a few beers and waiting in lingerie..... Hope this is the "baby maker"!!!:haha:

Whooooo, go Angel! X X X :happydance: X X X


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## Middysquidge

vegasbaby said:


> Phantom: Congrats :happydance:! BTW, I know some of you work, so when do you use your OPKs? I used to do them at about 2pm, but I can't imagine doing my little science experiment at work. I suppose it is possible, but how do you do this discretely? OK, off to go play in the garden.

I usually do mine in the morning, I know you're not meant to use FMU but I found I couldn'thold my wee for 4 hours during the day and still go t reliable results when compared to my temps, it was just the cheapies letting me down so have my digis this month, I think I'll still do FMU. x


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## sweetmommaof2

I agree we should move the forum... Anyone who wants to start it and just let the rest of us know where ito find it I am completely cool with that. It is going to be weird to move forward from here... Kind of hard... :s bittersweet....


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## angel2010

Meli, I also like what Vegas said, you are giving life either way. I think what you are doing is very honorable and selfless. 

Vegas, glad Charlotte is liking it at daycare, even though drop offs might still be a little rough. I am sure it won't take long to come around. The 2 year old I baby sit sometimes still cries at drop off, but then never wants to leave in the evening. I love charting and love knowing what is going on.

Jasmine, Awesome about the house!! And awesome about Oing on time!!

Jenn, I am glad oh can finally see the benefits of bnb! I do my ttc journal on here. I think it is nice to be able to tell someone about my fertile cm who will appreciate it.:haha: I will be putting my old pregnancy journal in the box with the rest of the stuff. I will buy a new one for the new baby.

Stef, we miss you!

Afm, I bought a box last night. I may put the stuff in it tonight, or may still wait. I just feel like it needs to get done before I get my next bfp. I should be Oing in the next couple of days, so I still have some time. As for moving the thread, I can post in the help section asking them to move this thread to the discussion area?


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## jenkb123

Hello Girls! 

Hope everyone has had a nice weekend!! Once again its been a few days since I've had a chance to respond so this will probably be another long post!! 

Meli - I can't believe you already broke our no testing early pact!! lol....don't worry if I had any chance at all I probably would have done the same thing!! :) I hope af continues to stay away and she doesn't come today like you think she might. I am sorry to hear your yard turned into a mud pit!! Hope things dry up soon so you can start wearing better shoes (and get things finished up).

I really hope that your DH gets on the same page as you about the liver donation. I can only imagine what a difficult situation it is. I think I would feel the same way as you if someone I was close to was really sick and I could potentially help them. I would also feel like I needed to try. As you said there is still the possibility that you won't be a match with further testing. My feeling is that things tend to work out the way they need to. Maybe you have not been successful with getting pregnant with your rainbow baby because you are meant to help your uncle. Or maybe you aren't meant to help your uncle and you won't be a match. At least if you get the further testing you will know you tried, match or no match. On the other hand I am sure if it was your DH that was a potential match you would be worried about him and how it would affect his health and your ability to conceive in the future. I can understand why he has concerns and why he might have reservations about you doing it. I think only you and him can decide what is right for the two of you. Whatever decision you make will be the right one!! The fact that you are seriously considering it does show what kind of selfless giving person you are!! If it was me I think I would sit down with my husband and tell him how I felt, that the idea of my uncle dying while knowing that I could have possibly saved him is a scary thing and why it is so important to me that I try to do whatever I can. That ttc is very important as well and that it is not a matter of choosing my uncle over a baby, rather me wanting to find a way to have everything. I am confident you will find your own way to deal with this. You are a strong caring person and I think you will come to a decision with your DH that you can both live with!! 

Angel - Just because you have room for new baby things when you get pregnant again does not mean that you are replacing your angel baby. Even if you move your things to a box that you put away you will never replace your angel with a new baby. I think having a special place to keep your memories where you can pull them out when you want to is a great idea. I also think that moving your things into a special box before you get pregnant again is good. Even though you wouldn't be replacing your angel with a new baby that way there is some separation there. I wish I had something from my angel to keep. I didn't ever get to have an ultrasound picture. 

Hope the "babymaker" worked for you last night!! 

Vegas - I am so glad that your first week at your new job went well!! I am really enjoying my new job too!! I haven't had that awkward adjustment period with my new job either. We are both pretty lucky we found something good!! I am so happy that so many good things are happening to so many of us on this thread. I am really certain that 2013 is a year of positive change (and bfp's of course) for us all!! 

Megan - Hope it was IB!! I guess you will find out soon. Its almost testing time!! 

Phantom - I am so happy for you and your couple that you are pregnant again. I hope this one is sticky and everything works out well. You are amazing!! Please keep us updated!! :)

Jasmine - Busy is good!! I am so excited to hear they picked you for the townhouse!! I hope you get the firm yes tomorrow and can start the fun job of packing!! It will be a really busy month for you. Maybe being so busy will distract you from the stress of ttc and you can just enjoy it!! Less stress might be the magic formula for you to get your bfp this month!! I have my fx'ed for you!! 

jennc - I think having the journal to look back on is really nice. I think it is a great way to remember the joy of pregnancy and to keep some perspective when you are worrying about every little thing next time due to the m/c. You are only pregnant for the first time once. Having a journal record of that is very special!! I would definitely keep it if I were you. 

Sweetmomma - Hope you are feeling good!! Are you having much in the way of pregnancy symptoms?? 

AFM - I have been taking my Provera for 5 days. Five more days to go. I should get af in about a week and then I hopefully will be able to set up my tracking appointments and give it a serious try this month!! I have been really enjoying my new job and spent some fun time with my nephews this weekend. So overall, things are good in my world!!


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## angel2010

Jenk, glad you are enjoying your new job and had some fun this weekend!


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## sweetmommaof2

I am doing ok... I have a cold and allergies going on right now.... Little spouts of morning sickness but not too bad... Will be going in tomorrow or Tuesday to get my #s done... I think I will test until my first actual drs. Appt... I have an appt on the 6th with a ma and then with the Dr on the 13th... I hope you all had a great weekend :) hugs


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## angel2010

Here is my box. It includes my pregnancy journal, my pregnancy tests, all my ultrasound pics, one pic in a frame, a drawing by my son and a pink stuffed kitty rattle my son picked out. I had a little cry when I put the lid on. I can't say whether I feel better or not.

https://i1124.photobucket.com/albums/l575/amfuqua/100_3281.jpg

https://i1124.photobucket.com/albums/l575/amfuqua/100_3280.jpg


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## Middysquidge

Hey everyone,

Jenkb123 - good luck for ttc this month and it's great things are looking up for you :)

Stef - Double where are you? hehe, hope you're okay!

Angel - that is just the most precious little memory sake, it might upset you at first but I think it will be a great comfort in the future. I wish I had enough stuff to make one too but I didn't get my scan picture or keep my test. It's really lovely, you should be proud x 

sweetmomma - urgh allergies and a cold don't sound nice, hope you feel better soon.

Hope everyone else is okay x 

Good news for us, we GOT the town house, move in on the 16th, couldn't be happier (well I could be and we all know how!) but it's great news and a great boost! 

x x x


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## Phantom710

Vegas-- yes, just ask them to switch, and explain why :)

Thanks everyone :flower:


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## Middysquidge

Where should we move it to everyone? Most of us are ttc? There is a ttc groups and discussions? x


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## angel2010

Jasmine, great news!!!!

I know I will be happy to have the box later. When dh got home last night he looked through the box and then left the room for a few minutes. He came back with red eyes and said it was beautiful. Sometimes I forget how much it has probably affected him to.


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## Meli_H

*Jasmine,*

The snow sounds beautiful! I can probably deal with it for a few days, while on vacation, but thats about it lol. Congrats on your townhouse :happydance: !! Move in date will be here before you know it-YAY!!! I think vegas is right-things seem to be going your way so a BFP cant be very far behind!! Remember that you were pretty sure that you wouldnt get the townhouse (there were too many applicants, you didnt get the paperwork in promptly, etc) BUT, you see??! You still got it!! Btw, I lold when you said your nickname for eva is eva diva! Thats too cute!

Yes, I do have to undergo further tests to confirm a match. I wont be sent for tests until he is accepted as a recipient. Supposedly he should know the answer in about 1 month or so. I wish they would hurry up!! I think I will put a hold on ttc for the next cycle. Ill still keep temping and using FF, I want to just keep an eye on my cycle. Thanks for the hopeful words about your mum having twins at 44. My paternal grandmother was 41 or so when she had my youngest uncle, so I guess thats some consolation.

When do u think you will O this month?

*Vegas,*

I think I will take a break from ttc for at least this cycle. I like your point-that either way, I will be giving life. Thank you! Oh, and I like your solution to keep Charlotte sleeping through the nite. Pink ice cream?? Awesome! Hey, whatever works, right? A little sugar never hurt anyone. Its not like youre giving her alcohol or something LOL!

I start using my opks on CD 10s FMU, and when I start seeing a faint line, then I will switch to testing 3x/day. I just make sure to take a couple of opks and those little disposable ppr cups-kind of like smaller Dixie cups? I have hundreds of those cups because I use them to make (adult) jello shooters for special occasions lol! Anyways, I just do it in the stall discreetly..also bring a baggie with me, pop it in the baggie, and take it with me back to my office to scrutinize it lol! Im sure you can work it out.

Oh, and I also ordered some cheapie wondfo opks and pg tests from ebay. I can stop paying $1 a test for the opks!

*Jennc,*

Yes, you are right. I like how you put it, and I truly never thought if it this way!! I mean, really when you think about it, you have adopted a child. He just happens to be the biological child of your husband I really do feel like I have helped raise my stepson, I treat him as if he were mine, and I will do anything for him. I am not presumptious enough to think that I am his mom, I dont want to offend any mothers out there, but I do my besthis mom didnt like me from the beginning because he (SS) loved me and couldnt stop talking about me. She was very jealous and it took her a while to accept me. I know I dont have any children of my own yet, but I think to myself If I had my own children, and they had a stepmother, I would WANT their stepmother to love them. I wouldnt feel threatened or jealous. I would be so grateful and it would take a load off my mind to know that my child was living with someone who loved them-who else to take better care of your child than someone who loves them too? And it goes beyond that--the more people in a childs life that loves them, the better for the child. Its a positive thing, right? Backstory-we had 50/50 custody of him up until 5 years ago. She decided to move 75 miles away and thought she could just take him with her. Thats when we had to get the courts involved. It was a long, expensive, and bitter custody fight, but thankfully, we were awarded primary custody. It really is in SSs best interest to stay with us and not move with her. When the temporary order was announced, she was alone in court, (her DH was working, I believe). I went up to her afterwards to comfort her, I felt so bad that she was crying, and although she brought it all upon herself, my heart broke for her. I told her here is my cell. If you dont want to call him (meaning my DH, her ex husband), call me for anything you need, changes to visitation, favors, etc etc. I am not his mother, Im not trying to be his mother, he doesnt need a mother, youre his mother. *YOU* will *ALWAYS* be his mother.

Sorry to hear your family isnt supportivethats too bad. Its so nice to be able to call up someone to vent _(but not too much, right, because then they will just resent DH!)._ Im glad that bnb is providing you support and helping you in that regard. Yall do the same for me!! Im glad DH is starting to come around somewhat. Baby steps!!

I hope you had fun at your get-together. FX that AF comes soon!!!

*Angel,*

Hoping you got in lots of BDing!!!! :dust::dust:

Oh, I LOVE temping too!!. My dropping temps totally kept me from poas starting 11dpo--or else I probably would have kept poas until af got me on Sunday!!!

Love love your box!!! I think Jasmine was right-it might be upsetting for now but it will I am positive that it will bring you comfort in the future!!

*Jenkb,*

What "no testing early" pact? Whatcha talking about????????????

ha ha j/k. I believe I said next cycle hee hee! 

I totally know what youre saying. I kind of feel that if I *am* a match, and I *DO *donate, then I didnt lose my angel for nothingif I was still pregnant, I wouldnt be able to donate, however much I may want to. *I feel like it gives meaning to the loss of my angel, and that comforts me.*You are right-if if was DH that was in my position, I would def have the same concerns. I like how you put it ttc is very important as well and that it is not a matter of choosing my uncle over a baby, rather me wanting to find a way to have everything I think Ill use that in our conversation!!!

Im happy that your new job is working out well for you and that things are good in your world! FX af comes in a week!!

*Sweetmomma,*

Hope you start feeling better SOON!

*AFM,*

This morning I accompanied my uncle to his drs appts as his patient advocate and to take notes, ask questions, etc. Normally my mom or my aunties join him, but they all went out of town for a girls weekend, so I volunteered. The hospital and his drs offices are right across the street from my office, so it was no big deal. Anyways, he still has more tests to take before they categorically accept him as a recipient, or deny him. 

Last week I mentioned that this upcoming weekend we are going out of town to the mountains, Im totally looking forward to that! I also called my younger brother and told him that when the topic of liver donation comes up, to be positive (my younger brother is also very negative about me donating). I told him look, DH isnt very happy with all this and I certainly dont need you to encourage him in his negativity. I mean, can you imagine if DH gets more ammunition from my brother and my father?? :growlmad: That is all I need! My brother and I came to an understandingif he cant say anything nice/positive, then hes not going to say anything at all! Hed better stick to it and keep his mouth shut lol!


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## Meli_H

angel2010 said:


> Jasmine, great news!!!!
> 
> I know I will be happy to have the box later. When dh got home last night he looked through the box and then left the room for a few minutes. He came back with red eyes and said it was beautiful. Sometimes I forget how much it has probably affected him to.

Aww, that's so sweet!! I know it's horrible to say, but I _kinda_ like to see when DH gets pensive or sad about this too...esp if like a baby commercial or something comes on tv...i know it's wrong but it makes me feel better, like proof that he's not as strong as he tries to pretend to be, or that I'm not crazy for still being sad...I'm sure you probably know what I mean! Please, nobody judge me lol!!


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## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> Where should we move it to everyone? Most of us are ttc? There is a ttc groups and discussions? x

That sounds good to me!


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## angel2010

No judging, I know exactly what you mean!


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## Middysquidge

How did the bd'ing go Angel, can I look at your chart, I want to stalk it! haha x Have a great time at the mountains Meli, hope you don't get any added stress, to answer your question I'll probably ovulate a week today or there abouts. I'm cd8 today x x

Here's my chart if anyone wants to stalk me!

My Ovulation Chart


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## vegasbaby

Just popping in from my phone as I am at work. 
Jasmine: that is quite a dip you had, what do your post o temps usually look like? 

Meli: I hope your family vacation goes well and your brother behaves. You really don't need the added stress.

Angel: what a pretty memory box. What a beautiful tribute. 

I think the TTC board would be a great place for us. Maybe one day we can move it again the the pregnancy group.


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## angel2010

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/t...baby-mommas-hoping-rainbows.html#post25089489


Join me!


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## Meli_H

Jasmineivy said:


> How did the bd'ing go Angel, can I look at your chart, I want to stalk it! haha x Have a great time at the mountains Meli, hope you don't get any added stress, to answer your question I'll probably ovulate a week today or there abouts. I'm cd8 today x x
> 
> Here's my chart if anyone wants to stalk me!
> 
> My Ovulation Chart

I will stalk your chart! Here's to your successful BD next week!!


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## Meli_H

angel2010 said:


> https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/t...baby-mommas-hoping-rainbows.html#post25089489
> 
> 
> Join me!

Done! Thanks for doing that!! You rock!!


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## jennc

angel2010 said:


> Hubby is closing at work tonight and should be home any minute. Ovulation should happen pretty soon, had a few beers and waiting in lingerie..... Hope this is the "baby maker"!!!:haha:

Good Luck!!! Major Baby Dust your way!!!



angel2010 said:


> Here is my box. It includes my pregnancy journal, my pregnancy tests, all my ultrasound pics, one pic in a frame, a drawing by my son and a pink stuffed kitty rattle my son picked out. I had a little cry when I put the lid on. I can't say whether I feel better or not.

I love your box. How sweet that your son helped you. I know it must have been hard but know that we are all here for you and someday you will be able to open and close the box without tears, I promise.



Jasmineivy said:


> Hey everyone,
> 
> Jenkb123 - good luck for ttc this month and it's great things are looking up for you :)
> 
> Stef - Double where are you? hehe, hope you're okay!
> 
> Angel - that is just the most precious little memory sake, it might upset you at first but I think it will be a great comfort in the future. I wish I had enough stuff to make one too but I didn't get my scan picture or keep my test. It's really lovely, you should be proud x
> 
> sweetmomma - urgh allergies and a cold don't sound nice, hope you feel better soon.
> 
> Hope everyone else is okay x
> 
> Good news for us, we GOT the town house, move in on the 16th, couldn't be happier (well I could be and we all know how!) but it's great news and a great boost!
> 
> x x x

Congrats on moving day! Meli is absolutely right! You didn't think you were going to get it and yet you did. Maybe baby will happen the same way. I'm sorry you don't have enough for a box. Neither do I really. I would like to wish everyone luck in ttc this month! After this week, I will officially be in the ttc catergory. The cramps may hurt like a mother but it is all for the greater good!



angel2010 said:


> Jasmine, great news!!!!
> 
> I know I will be happy to have the box later. When dh got home last night he looked through the box and then left the room for a few minutes. He came back with red eyes and said it was beautiful. Sometimes I forget how much it has probably affected him to.

AAAWWWW! I wish mine would let down his guard like that sometime.



Meli_H said:


> *Vegas,*
> 
> I think I will take a break from ttc for at least this cycle. I like your point-that either way, I will be giving life. Thank you! Oh, and I like your solution to keep Charlotte sleeping through the nite. Pink ice cream?? Awesome! Hey, whatever works, right? A little sugar never hurt anyone. Its not like youre giving her alcohol or something LOL!

I'm sorry you have to wait so long to find out if your uncle is accepted. Waiting is always frustrating but even worse in your case because you don't know if or when you have to have that difficult discussion with your dh.
I hate to tell you this but your brother and dh will probably have a conspiratory conversation anyway whether you know about it or not. You may want to lay the law down that it not be talked about at all during your family weekend. For your sake, I hope they behave. I'm not sure you should take a break from ttc. Whatever is meant to be will be either way. But think of it this way, what if you aren't a match and this month could've been it. Oh, there I go playing the "what if" game and it isn't even a "what if" about me lol. I think you handled the situation with your stepson's mother very beautifully. It is always sad to see situations where mixed families can't get along and really the kids are the ones that get hurt from it. The behavior specialist in me is glad to see that it didn't happen in your case! My sil is going through that situation with my niece. The aggravating part about it is that her biological mother only calls when the biological grandfather wants to see her. I was the one who had to help raise her for 9 months when her mother walked out. I met the grandfather and he's good people. When my sil got involved, she made it clear that he was welcome to see her but for some reason her mother pretends to be mother of the year about once a year. It's not fair to my niece, especially after the way her mother treated her. 



Meli_H said:


> angel2010 said:
> 
> 
> Jasmine, great news!!!!
> 
> I know I will be happy to have the box later. When dh got home last night he looked through the box and then left the room for a few minutes. He came back with red eyes and said it was beautiful. Sometimes I forget how much it has probably affected him to.
> 
> Aww, that's so sweet!! I know it's horrible to say, but I _kinda_ like to see when DH gets pensive or sad about this too...esp if like a baby commercial or something comes on tv...i know it's wrong but it makes me feel better, like proof that he's not as strong as he tries to pretend to be, or that I'm not crazy for still being sad...I'm sure you probably know what I mean! Please, nobody judge me lol!!Click to expand...

Sweetmomma- Hope you are feeling better soon!

Where is Stef and Megan????

ATM: The evil wicked witch of the west has caught me but that means I am one step closer to ttc. I had to reschedule all my clients today because of the cramps. Nothing has been touching the pain so I have been taking the Midol to at least put me to sleep through it lol. I am up now waiting for another round of Midol to kick in so I can go back to sleep. I'm super glad that it came though. I have been crampy on and off all week and my DH has had to keep his distance because I have just simply NOT been pleasant. I have a check up with the doc tomorrow. I may just be paranoid but I want to make sure I am as healthy as I can be and give this the best shot I can! I'm going to ask the doc for the good stuff in the meantime hehe. My DH has been practically drooling over the idea of unprotected sex. Poor guy, he's had to wait a long time. I had the cutest idea for a no-cost Valentine's idea for him. I'm going to make up a Valentine's love mad lib and then we're going to act it out. I'd make the funny little picture of the smiley faces humping but I don't know how lol. Well ladies, I am packing it in for the night. Check back soon.


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## jennc

Wait a minute, I just realized something went goofy :wacko: with my multi-quotes lol. You guys get the gist.:sex: But haha, I found the humping smileys. Victory is mine!


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## Meli_H

*Jennc*,
You are so right about the probable conspiratory conversation between DH and brother! Wow, you know my family so well :haha:

And about me taking a break from ttc not being a good idea--I think I totally agree with you. You make such sense. I play the what if game too!!! I just had a horrible conversation with my uncle (its a long story, and its posted on the new thread that Angel started for us) and that conversation completely changed my focus back to ttc, well see what happens, and like you said, whatever is meant to be, will be.

Sorry to hear that your sil is going through the same issues I did. I can imagine your poor nieces confusion. All I do is say nice things about her. I go out of my way to say nice things==I even make up nice things to say, because I dont want SS to feel bad. Even if he voices negative things, I always stick up for her and try to find the positives and slant it better for him. Because to do the opposite will only damage him. When he gets older and realizes that she chose to move with her baby daddy instead of him, and other behaviors she did, that will be painful enough for him. Because he WILL eventually realize all this, unfortunately. I wish I could re-write history and protect him from those realizations.

Sorry to hear that your cramps are painful, but YAY to officially be back in the ttc category! :happydance: I think our cycles are pretty close--Im on CD4. GL with your drs appt. Im sure everything will be fine but its always a great idea to check in and make sure! I love your idea for a no-cost valentine idea! I want to do something no cost myself!


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## Meli_H

jennc said:


> Wait a minute, I just realized something went goofy :wacko: with my multi-quotes lol. You guys get the gist.:sex: But haha, I found the humping smileys. Victory is mine!

YAY to finding the humping smilies! :happydance: It's the little things....


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## angel2010

Jenn, I am sorry your af is being a bitch! I hope you get some good meds. I am also happy to hear you will be ttc next week! My dh also hates condoms, it I am honest, I don't like them either.:blush: Good on finding that smiley! Now lets see if you can find a reason to use it in your next few posts! I put a link to our new thread a few posts up, you should join us over there.


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## vegasbaby

Jenn: Glad to hear that you will be TTC now. Sorry you are cramping. The things women have to go through. 

Meli: I'm going to head on over to the other thread to read about what all has been going on with you.


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## jennc

Meli_H said:


> You are so right about the probable conspiratory conversation between DH and brother! Wow, you know my family so well :haha:

I don't know your family, I just know mine lol. I'm glad to hear that you are ttc again. I will be checking out the whole story now. I must have missed the new thread but I got it now. I think it's great what you are doing with your stepson. Sometimes parents don't recognize how damaging it can be to a kid to say bad things about an absent parent. You seem to be handling those situations all the right way. It really is the little things that get us by. AF cramping has subsided. I'm kinda keeping my fingers crossed that I won't have to deal with it next month:winkwink:



angel2010 said:


> Good on finding that smiley! Now lets see if you can find a reason to use it in your next few posts! I put a link to our new thread a few posts up, you should join us over there.

I hope I will get to. I'm going over to the new thread now.


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## fifi37

So sorry for your loss. I was due my baby girl on November but sadly got told on the 2nd of june that there was no heartbeat. I gave birth to my daughter on the 4th of june I was 4 months pregnant. still cant get my head around everything as my pregnancy was really good never had any ups or downs or morning sickness nothing. still feeling like a bad dream.


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