# How different is the 2nd one *really*?



## Lullabye

I had an epidural with my first. They made a mistake by not examining me beforehand, because right after the epidural was in, I was 8cm! And of course my contractions ground to a halt immediately. Had i known I was so far along, I would have kept going without the epidural!

So I (unknowingly) went through most of labour without any pain relief, but have no clue what transition and the ring of fire are like. I'd love to hear from mamas who have had more than one kid vaginally. How was labour different the second time? How was delivery different? I don't know what to expect and am super anxious! My contractions were SO painful with baby #1!


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## willowblossom

My first was around 18 hours with around an hour of pushing. No pain relief but really struggled at the end. My second was 2 and a half hours pushing for about 2 minutes. No pain relief again but was at home in a pool. My second was much easier and I felt much more in control! Good luck!


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## Weebles

I'm pregnant with number two but my first experience was with an epidural and pretty much the opposite of yours. I had mine right away, at 4cm before I even felt a contraction but had it turned off before pushing (the part I was scared of!) I remember it being quite painful at times and at one point I said I didn't want to do this anymore. The ring of fire.. I don't know, this was a long time ago and I wouldn't have called it that but it did feel like a burning sensation to me. Not necessairily more painful, just a different feeling. What I remember the most about it isn't even really a feeling, more of a perception. My entire world became very small, like tunnel vision, and nothing else existed. Anyway, this time I want to try to go pain med free, just to see what it feels like.


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## Dawnlouise30

My first was induced at 40 plus 5 days. They used the drip to speed contractions and broke my waters. From breaking waters it was 8.5 hours to his birth. I laboured with gas and air till it was apparent I needed assistance. I was taken to theatre as it was thought I may need a c- section but he was born vaginally with forceps...... I had a spinal. He was 10lb 7 though and I would never have birthed him without help. 

My second was born at 39 weeks. Contractions started at home and I thought it was a tummy bug at first. I went to hospital at 6am was 7cm dilated then and he was born at 7.30am, 8 minutes after waters broke spontaneously. Gas and air used. I didn't feel the ring of fire at all, maybe first baby paved the way lol...... In fact he was born so quickly I was in shock and wouldn't hold him. I gave birth on all fours and that definitely helped me with the pain. He was 8lb 3.5 ounces. 

Both labours painful of course, but second was much easier.


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## Lullabye

Thanks, ladies. I'm hoping this one is easier for me as well. I've heard that some subsequent deliveries can be more painful because things happen faster.


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## dan-o

Way calmer and I was far more confident with #2. I went into labour myself let my body take over completely. I gave birth kneeling over the back of the bed. Barely needed gas and air. Picked him up myself and fed immediately. Wonderful experience. I felt normal right away, no tearing just a little period and spotting like bleeding for 10 days. Wanted to do it all over again! hope I have another good experience this time!

I've never felt the ring of fire but I did yelp out with #3, he came out in one movement (midwife had left the room) which felt rather intense. He was my smallest as well (probably just as well) I didn't tear though thankfully!


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## ClairAye

My first was complicated, distressed baby, I had an infection, my labour was 38 hours and just over an hour of that was pushing, I was ill, in lots of pain and high off pain relief. He was delivered via forceps and I had an episiotomy.

My second was 9 hours total, 8 minutes pushing. I managed with a TENS machine, warm bath and a small amount of gas and air when pushing. The pain was about the same but I was much more in control and much more confident. 

So for me the second was waaaaay better!


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## Lullabye

For those of you who have gone into labour spontaneously, did your second baby come earlier than their EDD? With my first, I went into labour the day after my EDD.


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## Dawnlouise30

Lullabye said:


> For those of you who have gone into labour spontaneously, did your second baby come earlier than their EDD? With my first, I went into labour the day after my EDD.

He came one week early. First was 6 days late


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## ClairAye

Lullabye said:


> For those of you who have gone into labour spontaneously, did your second baby come earlier than their EDD? With my first, I went into labour the day after my EDD.

My first I went into labour on my due date and he arrived at 40+1 and with my second I went into labour at 39+3 and she arrived at 39+4. :)


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## Lullabye

With my son I dilated pretty much bang on 1 cm an hour. After 8 hours of labour I was 8 cm. I saw my midwife for my 16 week appointment today and she's confident that this labour will be quick! My contractions with DS were so powerful to get me to progress that quickly as a first-time mum, I'm terrified how painful they'll be this time!


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## luz

my first baby was 5 days early. My second was 2 weeks early. I kept waiting to go to the hospital until my contractions were 5 minutes apart for 2 hours straight - since that's what i was told to do with the first. I showed up to the hospital dilated completely, and she was born 10 minutes after we walked into the door. Completely different labor experience! 

My 3rd labor was also completely different from the first two. My contractions never were consistent, and they weren't ever that intense. My labor lasted for a few days, on and off, and eventually when i went to the hospital they just broke my water and she was born 2 hours later. Every labor seems to be different!


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## adrie

My births were completely different. 

1st: 2 days early, MUCH longer, several interventions; thankfully had a vaginal birth with no complications. 
2nd: One week late, quite fast, no interventions, natural water birth; left the hospital 3hrs after I birthed our son. I laboured for about 2hrs on city transit with my 3yo at my side after we left my last midwife appointment and kept it together, because I didn't want to freak anyone out (including our daughter). I used the clock on the bus to time my contractions and knew when another was set to come so I was pretty focused. 

One thing that was the same, spouse was useless both times :haha: I was just glad he was there for each of his kiddos :) 

I would never not go natural if I were to ever have a third, unless 100% necessary. My second birth was much, much better. I didn't want to die without having experienced a natural birth if I could help it. I will say, I never got to my pain threshold. I have strong pain tolerance and it never felt unbearable. I loved that I could feel every part of labour and birth! 

I've always kind of enjoyed the physical sensation of different kinds of pain though. Even as a kid, I remember moving loose molars around my mouth bc I liked the pain. I'm a strange bird I guess haha


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## luz

.


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## jessmke

My two labours were very different. My first came at 40+3, it was 36 hrs of active labour (and two days of false labour prior) and I ended up with an epidural after about 30 hrs of labour when they started me on pitocin. My contractions were all up in my belly and back and were very painful from the first contraction until the last, there was no ramping up of intensity, they were just equally painful the whole way through. The OB broke my water after about 24 hours of labour. The OB thinks baby was back to back which was why my labour was so long and difficult, but she turned just before she came out. She had her hand on her face when she came out so I tore pretty badly and it took them an hour to stitch me back up.

My second baby came at 40+8. I started out with period type cramps coming every 15 minutes that were very manageable and not really painful, just noticeable. Over the course of 5 hours they got more and more painful to the point where I had to get up out of bed as I could no longer lay down through them, so it was much more of a "typical" labour I guess in that the intensity of the contractions started off mild and then built up from there. The contractions were all low down in my abdomen where you feel period pains, not up in my belly/back like they were with my daughter. My water broke spontaneously. Baby was born 4 1/2 hours after contractions got painful to the point of making me get out of bed, and about an hour after my water broke. I did not have an epidural or any pain relief with his birth. I didn't really feel a burning sensation so much with the "ring of fire", it was definitely very intense and painful but I wouldn't have described it as a burning, more like I was being torn open although I didn't actually tear when his head came out. When his head was coming out I got scared because I felt like I was being stretch way beyond my body's capabilities and I was scared to push too hard because I literally felt like I was going to just explode, which obviously didn't happen but I guess that is how I would describe crowning/ring of fire. His shoulder got a little stuck so the midwife had to go up and help him so I tore a bit from that, but not nearly as badly as the tear I had with my daughter. I found the pushing stage to feel quite odd because as soon as I started pushing I could no longer feel the pain of the contraction, but I could feel the pain of a human coming out of my vagina, it was like one sensation was instantly replaced with another sensation but I couldn't feel both the sensations at the same time. Not sure if that makes sense. But it made pushing feel like a bit of relief from the pain of the contractions.


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## Stellae

labor was much easier the second time around for me as well. I had a membrane sweep done and in my opinion that caused me to have contractions longer than I would have had I waited for it to start naturally, but everything went very smoothly and it only took 15-20 minutes of pushing to deliver baby #2 (vs. over an hour and eventual forceps for my first).


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## second.time

My labors were pretty similar. With my first, I went into labor at midnight at 39w6d. Went to the hospital twice and was turned away twice because I was only dilated to one centimeter, despite having extremely painful and regular contractions. At 8 p.m. at 39w6d, I went into triage and was finally making progress, all the way up to six centimeters. I had the epidural as soon as possible. He was born at 4 a.m. on his due date. Twenty-eight hours of labor, not making much progress until twenty hours in. I had a third-degree episiotomy and third-degree tears, but fortunately I healed very quickly and smoothly and didn't have any resulting pain or complications. It still bothered me to have such extensive tearing.

With my second, I went into labor at midnight on my due date. I'd been at one centimeter already for weeks. Went into triage at 1 p.m., was only at three centimeters, stayed that way for the next few hours as they monitored me. Got sent home, labored for a while, went back at 9 p.m., was dilated to eight centimeters. It was too late for the epidural. He was born at 11 p.m. on his due date. Twenty-three hour labor, second-degree episiotomy and tears, seem to be healing fairly well so far ... I was able to fully quit the painkillers by 10 days postpartum (after tapering off) and have been getting around really well.


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## WackyMumof2

Lullabye said:


> For those of you who have gone into labour spontaneously, did your second baby come earlier than their EDD? With my first, I went into labour the day after my EDD.

I went into labour on my own with all of my boys. But DS1 was an emergency section in the end. I VBACed my last 2 and I went into labour with both at 38+1. DS2 was 4 hours labour and half an hour of pushing on my back. 8lb 10oz and no pain relief. Didn't feel the ring of fire and didn't feel the need to scream either. But I have a high threshold for pain too. DS3 was a 12 hour, unmediated labour with gas for 10 at the end to take the edge of pushing because I wasn't quite at 10cm. But he was again, on my back because I was too tired to move and half an hour of pushing. He was 8lb 11oz. Nothing more than a minor graze with both of them.

This time, DD (will know for sure at 20 weeks) I want another unmedicated VBAC but I plan to be in a squatting position on the bed as I want gravity to help move the birth forward and have the birth as hands off as possible this time. I figure one more can't hurt right? Lol.


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## LaurelH

I've had two vaginal water births. The second was a smoother, more controlled labour. It came on gradually, whereas the first came on suddenly. 

In terms of sensation, it was similar but easier.

I would thoroughly recommend Hypno Birthing (Google Katherine Graves). It really helped me. A big part of it is using proven NLP and visualisations techniques to reduce fear which can have a big effect at reducing 'pain'. 

This may of course open debates, I'm not sure. But it worked well for me.


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## Wobbles

I had a nightmare with the epi on my first, my contractions stopped during birth and I was surrounded my doctors but we got there.

My second I opted for nothing other than gas & air - I managed to get the birthing pool. I took a break then suddenly everything moved fast & I was in labour. They wouldn't let me go back in. That was interesting :lol: but I'm glad I didn't get the epi - Something I regret with my first and I swear my bad back is down to that!


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## ClairAye

Wobbles said:


> Something I regret with my first and I swear my bad back is down to that!

I believe this too! My hospital can't give them but I had to fly and have my first in another hospital where they do, I still regret it to this day as my back is bad still!


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