# pregnant but single parent! worried and unsure!



## glowworm00

I have a 2 year old and now pregnant again by the same man but we do not or have not ever lived together.
Our relationship is very on and off but he is a fantastic father.
I work 3 full days a week and have some help towards housing, tax creds etc.
I am really concerned that my help will cease once i have the baby.
Can anyone shed any light on this? 
Many thanks


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## missk1989

If anything you should get more help not less.


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## tallybee

Wss, I'd expect you would get more help with 2 children than with one. Assuming you'd go back to the same work pattern that is. No clue how it works with mat pay or anything tho sorry. Good luck


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## moomin_troll

Maternity pay is crap, but all the other help u get will increase, so there's nothing to worry about just yet.


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## glowworm00

Im just concerned that I will get investigated as I am a single parent but now pregnant! 
Everything is worrying me at the moment and this is not helping!


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## moomin_troll

I became a single mum after my oh died and then found out I was pregnant. No one ever bothered me.


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## glowworm00

Did/do you claim benefits? X


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## moomin_troll

No sorry I don't claim benefits so can't help much with that.


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## glowworm00

See thats where im concerned as although i work its only 3 full days and claim some benefits x


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## moomin_troll

From what I know from others, ur help with increase. I knew a single dad who worked full time, was on a great wage and got his rent paid in full and other help. 
It might be worth making an appointment at the job centre or calling up job seekers and asking them for rough estimations. 
But lots of single parents to more then on child survive on benefits alone, so I'm sure u will be fine


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## glowworm00

Job seekers wont help as i am not a job seeker! Im not bothered about extra money i am just concerned as i am supposed to be a single parent and after a moment of madness i am still a single parent but pregnant again! X


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## moomin_troll

Job seekers call centre isn't just for ppl looking for a job, they help calculate all benefits. So may come in use. 
I wouldn't look at urself as ur supposed to be a single mum and now pregnant at all, ur a mother who is expecting her second child. 
No one is going to investigate u just because ur single and pregnant. The only thing I was ever asked is if my son and unborn baby had the same dad or not for medical reasons. 
Being a single mum of two is difficult at times, and now looking back having one child seemed hard but is so much easier. Even tho it's tough and I'm always tired, I love having two children and I'm sure u will too :)


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## glowworm00

Thanks for that! I am looking forward to the new arrival as they have a fantastic dad its just a shame were not that good together!


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## moomin_troll

It's good that they have a fantastic father! That's a huge positive and will make life with two much easier


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## Meezerowner

There is no law against having another baby whether you are together with the father or not (or even if the father is different). So don't worry too much, I would imagine there are a lot of people in your situation and no-one from the benefits people will bat an eye. It sounds like you are worried about "what people will think" and it's really no one else's business. It's not the benefits officers job to be judgmental and hopefully they will be able to offer you guidance on what you are entitled to.

The only question they will ask is if the FOB is living with you as your partner because this does effect claims for housing and tax credits.

A a single mum of two you should get more help not less.


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## roundtwoforme

Wow, it's interesting to find out what other single Mom's are struggling with, what issues are worrying them. I have a three year old, the father left the country when he decided he did not want any part in the pregnancy. Therefore, I have done it alone without a lot of support for anyone for a long time. I am now pregnant unexpectedly with a second child and it is early, 2 months but the worries have begun. I'm not sure what the father will say when I tell him, it's a new relationship and baby was definitely not the first step in the plan. 

I have a very good friend who has been trying very hard to conceive and it weighs hard on me - whether or not to set up an adoption and allow her the privilege. I don't know, being a single Mom is very hard but children bring so much joy and I could not imagine my life without my daughter. I think it would also be confusing for her if we give away her sibling.

So many decisions!


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