# 16 month old 'humping'



## firsttimer80

Bit of an embarrassing one here!! But does anyones little boy sort of hump things??
He tends to do it on an evening when he is tired. He will lie on his front and put his hands towards that area and hump the floor or whatever he is lying on! 
Sometimes if his Dad is lying on the floor he will jump on him and do it then!!
We laugh about it as he is innocent but i do wonder if many boys do this?

How can we discourage it without making him think he is naughty? As he doesnt know what he is doing.


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## firsttimer80

no answer so far :( hope hes not the only one!!


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## kizzyt

My daughter doesn't do it but I do know of many kids who have, it's perfectly normal, it's just a phase similar to shaking heads, hitting themselves etc just babies being curious. I bet it's v funny to see haha x


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## DaisyBee

Megan does this and I had a daycare toddler who did this ( i was a daycare provider before Megan was born).

It's self soothing thing for Megan, and was for that other girl as well. Megan didn't start until after we took away her pacifier. to her it's not sexual, she doesn't know that others don't just talk about it like brushing teeth. She will say I'm going to go hump now or when I tuck her in, she will say I'm going to hump first before I go to sleep. She is very matter of fact about it. We don't embarrass her about it. I told her once that it's something she needs to do in her room by herself and she said ok, and never done it outside of her bed since. The daycare girl I had used to want to do it before nap, but started doing it a lot anywhere. Her dr told her mom just to not make a big deal about it, tell her it's not something we do at daycare, only at home in our room.


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## Tanikins

My sons dancing is more like humping. I find it hilarious :haha: imo its our adult minds that makes it dirty not there innocent baby minds


It is funny though :rofl:


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## suzib76

DaisyBee said:


> Megan does this and I had a daycare toddler who did this ( i was a daycare provider before Megan was born).
> 
> It's self soothing thing for Megan, and was for that other girl as well. Megan didn't start until after we took away her pacifier. to her it's not sexual, she doesn't know that others don't just talk about it like brushing teeth. She will say I'm going to go hump now or when I tuck her in, she will say I'm going to hump first before I go to sleep. She is very matter of fact about it. We don't embarrass her about it. I told her once that it's something she needs to do in her room by herself and she said ok, and never done it outside of her bed since. The daycare girl I had used to want to do it before nap, but started doing it a lot anywhere. Her dr told her mom just to not make a big deal about it, tell her it's not something we do at daycare, only at home in our room.


Sorry what? Where on earth does a 3 year old learn to use the expression 'hump' eugh.


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## DaisyBee

We had to come up with a name for it when we talked about that she needed to do that in her room... It is also the term that the dr used when talking about how to handle it with the daycare child. That girl was 18 months and saying humping.

What term would you use?


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## suzib76

DaisyBee said:


> We had to come up with a name for it when we talked about that she needed to do that in her room... It is also the term that the dr used when talking about how to handle it with the daycare child. That girl was 18 months and saying humping.
> 
> What term would you use?

Humping is an adult word, it has an absolute sexual meaning.

If the situation ever arose where I needed to find a name for my child to use it absolutely would not be something with a sexual connotation.


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## DaisyBee

We don't use it as a sexual word. I have never in an adult conversation used the word humping? It's the word we chose, we were not wanting to make it taboo, make her feel bad about it, etc.


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## suzib76

I don't generally say humping either, but that's what it means. Sorry but the thought of a toddler describing themselves going away to hump makes me shudder


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## DaisyBee

Suzi - I was only telling the op what I have experienced... I wasn't looking for parenting advice or someone to jump down MY throat because of how I raise my child. I have no issue with her humping, she does it privately, doesn't see it as sexual in any way. It's a NON issue for us. I don't understand why you are jumping on my case for this!


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## suzib76

Not jumping on your case I was genuinely gobsmacked. 

Sorry to the op


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## rosie272

What term would you use suzi, because "humping" really is the only way to describe the action :shrug:

Op - Charlie did this for a while around a year old but I just left him to it and he stopped eventually, maybe did it for a month or so. It freaked me out at first but my hv put my mind at rest assuring me it was normal.


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## suzib76

I might say humping when discussing it with an adult, but I would never encourage a toddler to use adult language to descibe this movement


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## ebayfreak

my little girl who is 17 months humps the floor or my husbands head is her new favourite. She has done it off an on since very young. Had an embarrassing moment on holiday last august when she crawled into the middle of a busy beach and started humping the sand! They are funny little creatures!


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## Tanikins

I dont see tge isssue with the word humping but can see why it could be a probs for parents

But imo i prefer kids to use tge correct words just in case they need to descibe something - we all know what sort of world we live in unfortunatly


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## cat lover

im sure its normal. i guess i can understand the reluctance over the word humping as it does mean sex, just like shagging or bonking does, but admittedly i cant think of a,better word to use


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## Eleanor ace

I've had a few nursery/reception students who have done this, it's very normal and just a comfort/habit thing. Like some children will suck their thumb, others twiddle their hear or rub an item of clothing through their fingers. The first time I experienced it the FS coordinator just explained to the young girl that humping was something to do at home not school, in a reassuring voice- no reprimand as it's not like she was doing anything wrong. Oh and I've always heard it referred to as humping, I can't see why there's an issue with that particular word?? I think its important to use "proper" words to describe things, without being overtly sexual (for example calling it masturbating as that's not what it is).


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## rachwill

I dont like the word humping but I agree with previous posters in that I struggle to find a different word. Bumping maybe? My little boy does it sometimes when he's cuddling his blankie. I think he's kind of snuggling with his blankie like a comfort thing but he does the humping action. Makes me feel awkward even though I know there's nothing sexual in it! They all do funny little things


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## cat lover

rachwill said:


> I dont like the word humping but I agree with previous posters in that I struggle to find a different word. Bumping maybe? My little boy does it sometimes when he's cuddling his blankie. I think he's kind of snuggling with his blankie like a comfort thing but he does the humping action. Makes me feel awkward even though I know there's nothing sexual in it! They all do funny little things

bumping sounds like a fantastic word to describe it!


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## robinator

Daisybee was vulnerable and genuinely helpful in her response and you jump all over her for a choice of word? That's like a smack in the face.


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## suzib76

Well the thought of a 3 year old saying they were away to hump seriously disturbs me.

Is all very well saying we should use the correct words to describe things, but humping is a slang word for sex. 

Yes I would use the word to describe my child doing that, if I were talking to other adults, but I wouldn't encourage a toddler to use a vulgar word like that.


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## robinator

My point is that she was very open about a sensitive issue and instead of being thanked for sharing her experience, she is getting jumped on over a word choice.

Instead of, "thanks, daisybee for telling us your story, it was helpful", its, "omg, you let your three year old say hump?!?!?!"

That's all.


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## rosie272

I get what you're saying suzi but I think your reaction of disgust is pretty hurtful to daisybee when it's obviously not an issue for her :shrug: what word would you use if you were asking your *child* to stop "humping"??


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## suzib76

I understood your point, which is why I explained, again, why I was so shocked at the choice of word.


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## suzib76

rosie272 said:


> I get what you're saying suzi but I think your reaction of disgust is pretty hurtful to daisybee when it's obviously not an issue for her :shrug: what word would you use if you were asking your *child* to stop "humping"??


I didn't say it to be hurtful. It was a genuine shock reaction. Like I said I have No idea what word I would use. I'm not sure I would even give such a behaviour a descriptive word. Is just a movement, If it were any of my kids I would ignore it. I wouldn't place any importance on it by giving them a word to use to describe it as an action. And just to be really clear, I did not post to hurt anyone, I am just surprised that people have their toddlers say that.


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## princesspie

I would not use the word humping either, I just wouldn't feel comfortable saying it around my kids.

Anyway, just wanted to add that my LG also does this sometimes, I don't make a big deal out of it or mention it at all. She does it less than she used to.


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## suzib76

robinator said:


> My point is that she was very open about a sensitive issue and instead of being thanked for sharing her experience, she is getting jumped on over a word choice.
> 
> *Instead of, "thanks, daisybee for telling us your story, it was helpful", its, "omg, you let your three year old say hump?!?!?!"*
> 
> That's all.

You edited your post after I responded :nope:


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## Ozzieshunni

Having dealt with child sex abuse victims, I would not use the word hump, but that's me personally. It does shock me a bit and make me uncomfortable, but that's based on my experiences. 

Saying that, it's not the point of this thread to debate it and I know a few on here that get pretty huffy if someone disagrees with them so maybe keep it in perspective, hmm?

It is a comfort thing for children and I'm sure it feels good to them (not meant in a gross way). My brother did it and my parents called it "doing his taxes" fuck knows why lol. Alex pulls on his. Why? I dunno either.


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## suzib76

I wasn't going to respond further but I have to point out there was nothing vulnerable about the post I commented on. It was a clear and confidently written post, the accusation I jumped on a vulnerable post and liking it to a smack in the face is rediculous.

We all have opinions, and we all give opinions.


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## DaisyBee

It was a personal attack against me and my parenting. I don't teach my children vulgar words. They don't even hear words like shut up, stupid, omg, gosh, darn, etc. And the word "bonking" to me is very odd and I would never use it... 

Others let their kids watch tv, play video games, whatever. My kids are in a little bubble. They don't know anything about sex or kissing or anything. To even bring sexual abuse into this ozzi is very hurtful as well, that people are even using those words when discussing this is completly in left field.

I don't even call her girl area anything other than "your potty". I find it really ridiculous that I responded in a post that a lot of people find embarrassing and whisper talk and get responded to like this. It's the same in my house as saying the word pacifier or chewing on her sensory chewy toy. I don't respond to posts expecting others to find things about me "shocking". If I said I beat my child for "bumping" her blanket... THAT would deserve the reaction I got. But instead I get it for saying it's normal, don't worry about it. And it doesn't work to always ignore things that happen in your house on a daily basis.

Eta - next time someone asks about such a personal matter... I won't be responding, they can be left in the dark and not know that it's normal.


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## suzib76

Sorry. Maybe its an American/British thing here.

Many words have different meanings.

And I will repeat I was genuinely shocked that a toddler would be encouraged to ise that descriptive language. This would be the same whoever had posted that comment. There was no personal attack. 

Like I say thinking it through its maybe just a case of the word not having quote the same meaning in usa compared with uk


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## robinator

Doing his taxes? :rofl:

*wipes tear from eye*


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## cutie4evr01

My daughter does this also, and has done from about 18 months. She has two comfort blankies - those very small square blankies with the little stuffed animal head on one corner - she puts those two blankies underneath her and sticks her bum in the air and kind of humps the blankies. She only ever does it in her bed just before falling asleep, I think it's comforting for her. We've never had the need to call it anything, but one time she brought her two blankies into my room and was doing it on the floor and I told her she needs to keep her blankies in her bed and if she wants to do that she needs to go lay in her bed. I've never seen her do it anywhere except her bed since then. I can't imagine calling it anything other than humping if the need arose. 

I am actually concerned about sending her to preschool because they take a nap there and I know she generally does it before she falls asleep, and I don't want her to get in trouble for it there, or get made fun of by the other kids. But I also don't want to bring it up and somehow tell her not to do it there because we have managed to get by this long just ignoring it, and I don't want her to feel like she has done something wrong.


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## TennisGal

My girls don't do this - for comfort Lizzie is a thumb sucker and a hair twirler...and ally is a, well, a 'mummy' as sole source of comfort. For ages, Lizzie would just get one of my boobs out and hold it as comfort though :blush: Sometimes put her hand on it discreetly, other times, want the whole thing!

Anyway, my friends little boy humps - has done since he was quite little. It's a sign he's tire and wants comfort...nothing more. I wouldn't worry :hugs:

DaisyBee :hugs: please don't stop posting more personal responses - your post was thoughtful, relevant and kind. I think if anyone knows your posts they would be pretty aware what a fabulous mummy you are. Even if not, there are far worse things out there than using the term 'hump'. Hope you're ok!


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## suzib76

Ok. I never said anyone was a bad parent. I'm pretty sure there are aspects of ALL of our parenting the we each don't agree with, however, just to reiterate the reason I commented was because I was shocked that a little one would use such a phrase. At NO point in time did I say for that reason I think you are a terrible parent. I don't think daisy bee is a terrible parent, I just thought the the word was very adult like. It does not make anyone a terrible parent. The insulation that I said daisy bee is a terrible parent is beginning to wear thin tbh.

I also later commented to say its maybe just a us/uk language difference that I hadn't realised.


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## Dragonfly

I think this is a lot like a comfort thing and not sexual unless the childs seen mum and dad at it which I really doubt any one would do *I have seen two toddlers pretend once to do it but they came from a bad home* I would be concerned why its for comfort as it would be like head banging in children. The energy releases a serotonin buzz. Thus making child feel better and more relaxed after. Just a theory dont tear my head off. I know a lot about this as I done the head banging as a child as I comforted myself and was often left a lone for a long time. Note I am not saying any one does that here.


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## RaspberryK

My lo does a kind of rolling over and over, leg kicking and bum in the air humping thing when he's tired, its how he gets to sleep. 
I'd never thought of it as anything other than getting comfy. 
X


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## Ozzieshunni

Oh for goodness sakes. It was MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE! I never said, "Oh, DaisyBee, you're sexually abusing your daughter." :roll: Come on people. Stop picking shit apart. It was MY COMFORT ISSUES, not yours.


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## tommyg

Dasiybee please don't stop posting personal responses. It was helpful for the op to know she wasn't alone in the world. 
I have no idea how I would handle a child doing that, but I was met with the same shock reaction as Susi at the use of the word Hump, but as you say your LO doesn't know what else it means and you have managed to teach her its something you do in private therefore saving her and your embarrassment and teaching her its not wrong.


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## MrsKTB

My LB does! it's quite funny to watch!! We just try and distract him when he does it (hes the same, only when he's tired)!


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## cat lover

i suspect perhaps the word hump does not have such a sexual connotation in US as it does here x


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## Ozzieshunni

cat lover said:


> i suspect perhaps the word hump does not have such a sexual connotation in US as it does here x

It does.


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## anita665

My eldest does it. I don't remember when it started... maybe around 2 years old. We also call it humping because that is just what it is. We haven't made a big deal out of it and mostly just ignore it. Once he did it in the middle of the floor at his brothers birthday party though. :blush:


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## cat lover

Ozzieshunni said:


> cat lover said:
> 
> 
> i suspect perhaps the word hump does not have such a sexual connotation in US as it does here x
> 
> It does.Click to expand...

ah ok... i just thought maybe not as here its fairly overt language


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## Dragonfly

Hump means sex, I wouldnt use that in terms of what children where doing.


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## MrsKTB

So camels have 'sex' on thei backs?


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## Ozzieshunni

MrsKTB said:


> So camels have 'sex' on thei backs?

:roll: :haha:


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## Ozzieshunni

hump
verb

Definition of HUMP

transitive verb


1: often vulgar: to copulate with 


2: to exert (oneself) vigorously 


3: to make humpbacked : hunch 


4: chiefly British: to put or carry on the back : lug; also: transport 

intransitive verb


1: to exert oneself : hustle 


2: to move swiftly : race 

https://mw2.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/humping


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## TennisGal

To be honest, I would never really think of the term 'hump' as sexual. For me 'humping' means lugging something heavy.


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## Dragonfly

MrsKTB said:


> So camels have 'sex' on thei backs?

Well we arnt talking about camels in this thread are we :roll:


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## flump1

my Lo sort of does this and has done it since a few months old, mainly when hes getting comfy he will do a little humping wiggle, or if he's cuddling someone or one of his teddies he does it. Iv never seen it as him 'humping' though just him wiggling! He's not aware of how he's moving his body yet. My OH calls it humping but I have to say i would also be uncomfortable with DS learning to use the word 'hump' for this action. He doesnt do it very often anymore but if he still does it when he learns to talk i will not be giving it a name.


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## sweetlullaby

I'd say its pretty normal hun :flower: Nearly all toddlers have their own way of comfort etc usually before they fall asleep my LO rubs the labels on his clothes or just holds it when he's tired/falling asleep. My friend's LO "humps". She just doesn't draw any attention to it and just lets him get on with it


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## MrsKTB

Dragonfly said:


> MrsKTB said:
> 
> 
> So camels have 'sex' on thei backs?
> 
> Well we arnt talking about camels in this thread are we :roll:Click to expand...

We're also not talking about toddlers having sex...we're talking about a movement of the hips. My post was intended to highlight how rediculous this is getting now.


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## DaisyBee

I've got way more important things going on in my life than dealing with all of this today. I find it so nice that I've written a post concerning Megan and her possible reflux, and only get 2 people responding. And yet, everyone has all the time in the world to be shocked about my daughter. Im sorry but Megan is the sweetest girl in the world, who is so sensitive that she isn't even allowed to watch rated g movies and yet here we are both getting dragged through the mud. So thanks for that. It's a word! Who cares what word we use? And like I said, it's also the same word the dr used when talking about the daycare girl that did this as well. And NOT in a sexual way.

I personally have never EVER said the word hump to mean sex. EVER and I'm 34 years old. I've never personally heard the word hump to mean sex. No one I know talks about "dh and I are going to hump tonight." So maybe I'm naive in what it means. But in MY house it isn't a sexual word. And that's what's the important thing.

And for the record, Megan has never ever seen or heard anything related with us having sex. She doesn't think humping is anything other than what she does. I am a sahm who is with her all of the time. We have never had a babysitter other than grandma and that is very rarely. She isn't exposed to anything she shouldnt be. Dh and I both change words in books that will make her scared or anxious as she is really that sensitive that we feel like we need to put her in a bubble. Do you think for a second that we would ever expose her to anything out of line?

She wouldn't do it with other kids, that's not what she is doing. It's not exploring sex or anything like that. Like I said she started after we had her stop using a pacifier. Her personality isnt go with the flow, she obviously needs things to help her relax and fall asleep. Like I said she also has sensory chewing toys, she also has a weighted blanket to help her relax... And for her the humping is no different.

Ozzies - even MENTIONING the words sexual abuse during this conversation was out of line I think. You are so quick to bring up your experiences in other threads, relating everyone else's life to it, and what you have seen. You don't know everything, and you certainly don't know me.

I don't really care if the world uses this word to mean sex. It doesn't mean anything unless you teach your child that's what it means.


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## Dragonfly

MrsKTB said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> MrsKTB said:
> 
> 
> So camels have 'sex' on thei backs?
> 
> Well we arnt talking about camels in this thread are we :roll:Click to expand...
> 
> We're also not talking about toddlers having sex...we're talking about a movement of the hips. My post was intended to highlight how rediculous this is getting now.Click to expand...

Yes your comparison of a camel and the act of humping was ridiculous. I pointed out what humping is to me. So did a few others. You went one further didnt you. 

Daisy bee no one said anything of what you are talking about, your reply confuses me. Was it my reply in saying I seen two kids pretending but came from a bad home and no one here would do that ? because thats certainly not an accusation. No one has accused any one of any sexual abuse towards children here. :wacko: some just said what humping means to them. Not sure why thats caused such offence.


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## Ozzieshunni

Whoa, calm down DaisyBee. Maybe rereading my posts would help? I've said MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. If you hate my word usage, use the ignore function. Good day!


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## jenkins

DaisyBee, I'm so sorry you feel like you have to defend yourself:hugs:

Honestly it is maybe different regions but where I am in the uk it would be socially acceptable to describe this as humping. I have never in my life before this thread heard of the word humping as a word for sex??? 

As daisybee has said more than once and I agree with her, whatever your interpretation of that word - it is not her family's and that is all that is important.

Really don't get what the big deal is and I think it's sad that the thread has gone this way.


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## Dragonfly

No one has insulted Daisy far as I can see , shes being defensive when no one thinks what she thinks they do. There really was no need for the defensive protest. We are all grown ups here, certainly no one was insinuating even any one was abusing kids. This thread has got nasty and sarky in places for no reason.


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## TennisGal

I personally can see why daisy is upset...and I think we should respect that she is. We all have sensitivities over our children and parenting (sensitivities - not being over sensitive) and any criticism, actual...implied or accidental is bound to cause some level of upset.

Anyway, back to op...I've another friend who I saw this morning who said her little girl does this when upset. Definitely leans towards some form of comfort?


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## firsttimer80

OH MY GOD!!!!!!! Unbelievable how the posts turn horrible so easily!!
Fingers pointing everywhere!!

Thank you for all the helpful comments.
Just for the record my son has never seen us doing the deed so he hasn't got it from us!! Hey guess what he also head bangs!!!!!!
He is hardly ever left alone and is a happy child so my concerns aren't of that nature.

Just wondered if it was common and why they do it.

DiasyBee, thanks for your comment :) sorry you had your head bitten off for it!!!


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## xolynn

I can see why she is upset too! Sorry you had to basically get verbally attacked over such a simple topic via the internet daisybee. What the heck is so shocking about the word "hump"? If anyone even uses this to describe sex or thinks its vulgar thats pretty immature in my opinion. I've NEVER heard anyone say "Oh I humped so and so last night". I didn't know these forums could get so overly dramatic till I read this one. Honestly, if I were one of the admins I would lock it/close it...its not even really about what OP was asking anymore(well it is, but in the wrong way.)


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## TennisGal

First time80 - just sounds to me like your little boy likes very physical ways of comfort or is very tactile  All part of parcel of the variety that is toddlerdom! :hugs:


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## firsttimer80

Dragonfly said:


> I think this is a lot like a comfort thing and not sexual unless the childs seen mum and dad at it which I really doubt any one would do *I have seen two toddlers pretend once to do it but they came from a bad home* I would be concerned why its for comfort as it would be like head banging in children. The energy releases a serotonin buzz. Thus making child feel better and more relaxed after. Just a theory dont tear my head off. I know a lot about this as I done the head banging as a child as I comforted myself and was often left a lone for a long time. Note I am not saying any one does that here.

???
Why should I be concerned if he does it for comfort?? Don't children do many different things for comfort? i.e sucking fingers or dummies.
He does it when he is in the room with us, so being left alone is not connected in any way.
He also head bangs in his cot when he wakes up.
He is never left alone for a long time so I know its nothing like that!


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## Misstrouble19

my Rhys messes with his private parts when im changing him think its just boys lol xxxx


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## rosie272

Agree with tennisgal, I was told it was comfort related when Charlie was doing it too :hugs: 

Can't believe this thread got so heated! People are so quick to give their "opinions" even though they have no experience of the issue or any useful advice :nope:


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## firsttimer80

TennisGal said:


> First time80 - just sounds to me like your little boy likes very physical ways of comfort or is very tactile  All part of parcel of the variety that is toddlerdom! :hugs:

Ha ha yes maybe so.. 
He never wanted a dummy or any form of a comforter. He doesn't cling to a teddy or blanket.
But this 'hip thrusting' lets say is a new one!!!
The head banging has been going on a while though, ee have had to pad his cot so he can head bang without hurting himself!!! 
Crazy boy
The joys hey :)


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## TennisGal

firsttimer80 said:


> TennisGal said:
> 
> 
> First time80 - just sounds to me like your little boy likes very physical ways of comfort or is very tactile  All part of parcel of the variety that is toddlerdom! :hugs:
> 
> Ha ha yes maybe so..
> He never wanted a dummy or any form of a comforter. He doesn't cling to a teddy or blanket.
> But this 'hip thrusting' lets say is a new one!!!
> The head banging has been going on a while though, ee have had to pad his cot so he can head bang without hurting himself!!!
> Crazy boy
> The joys hey :)Click to expand...

I'd say I still win with Lizzie preferring to get my entire boob out for comfort as opposed to just snuggling a teddy or suchlike :haha::rofl:


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## starangel27

my son does it all the time he has a cloth he cuddles for comfort and when he wakes up or is tired he pretty much humps his cloth


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## Tiff

I think it's safe to say that everyone has a different term they would use. Time to drop that and get back to the actual topic.

Op- my daughter has done this from a very young age. We don't point it out or make a big deal about it. 

It's hard as you can see that now at the age of 4 it's becoming a bit more to her. At a loss on how to move forward. :shrug:


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## tommyg

Hold on nobody is acusing anybody of abuse or saying children have seen stuff they shouldn't.

A few of us are surprised at a 3 year old using a particular word that we possibility didn't know until we were in high school. 

Its not a word we would use in the house either but that doesn't stop me being surprised.


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## Dragonfly

firsttimer80 said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> I think this is a lot like a comfort thing and not sexual unless the childs seen mum and dad at it which I really doubt any one would do *I have seen two toddlers pretend once to do it but they came from a bad home* I would be concerned why its for comfort as it would be like head banging in children. The energy releases a serotonin buzz. Thus making child feel better and more relaxed after. Just a theory dont tear my head off. I know a lot about this as I done the head banging as a child as I comforted myself and was often left a lone for a long time. Note I am not saying any one does that here.
> 
> ???
> Why should I be concerned if he does it for comfort?? Don't children do many different things for comfort? i.e sucking fingers or dummies.
> He does it when he is in the room with us, so being left alone is not connected in any way.
> He also head bangs in his cot when he wakes up.
> He is never left alone for a long time so I know its nothing like that!Click to expand...

I didnt say you I said I, Me. Not you. :thumbup:


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## firsttimer80

Dragonfly said:


> firsttimer80 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> I think this is a lot like a comfort thing and not sexual unless the childs seen mum and dad at it which I really doubt any one would do *I have seen two toddlers pretend once to do it but they came from a bad home* I would be concerned why its for comfort as it would be like head banging in children. The energy releases a serotonin buzz. Thus making child feel better and more relaxed after. Just a theory dont tear my head off. I know a lot about this as I done the head banging as a child as I comforted myself and was often left a lone for a long time. Note I am not saying any one does that here.
> 
> ???
> Why should I be concerned if he does it for comfort?? Don't children do many different things for comfort? i.e sucking fingers or dummies.
> He does it when he is in the room with us, so being left alone is not connected in any way.
> He also head bangs in his cot when he wakes up.
> He is never left alone for a long time so I know its nothing like that!Click to expand...
> 
> I didnt say you I said I, Me. Not you. :thumbup:Click to expand...

You said the following ' I would be concerned why its for comfort'
So I asked why would you be concerned the he does it for comfort?


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## Dragonfly

firsttimer80 said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> firsttimer80 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> I think this is a lot like a comfort thing and not sexual unless the childs seen mum and dad at it which I really doubt any one would do *I have seen two toddlers pretend once to do it but they came from a bad home* I would be concerned why its for comfort as it would be like head banging in children. The energy releases a serotonin buzz. Thus making child feel better and more relaxed after. Just a theory dont tear my head off. I know a lot about this as I done the head banging as a child as I comforted myself and was often left a lone for a long time. Note I am not saying any one does that here.
> 
> ???
> Why should I be concerned if he does it for comfort?? Don't children do many different things for comfort? i.e sucking fingers or dummies.
> He does it when he is in the room with us, so being left alone is not connected in any way.
> He also head bangs in his cot when he wakes up.
> He is never left alone for a long time so I know its nothing like that!Click to expand...
> 
> I didnt say you I said I, Me. Not you. :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> You said the following ' I would be concerned why its for comfort'
> So I asked why would you be concerned the he does it for comfort?Click to expand...

I feel answering that now after the way this threads gone will probably end up in a row. So I decline from answering it. Personally I would feel like that as I have experience of this. Maybe look up on google or something why children do things for comfort as I done my research on that subject a long time ago. :thumbup:


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## firsttimer80

Dragonfly said:


> firsttimer80 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> firsttimer80 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> I think this is a lot like a comfort thing and not sexual unless the childs seen mum and dad at it which I really doubt any one would do *I have seen two toddlers pretend once to do it but they came from a bad home* I would be concerned why its for comfort as it would be like head banging in children. The energy releases a serotonin buzz. Thus making child feel better and more relaxed after. Just a theory dont tear my head off. I know a lot about this as I done the head banging as a child as I comforted myself and was often left a lone for a long time. Note I am not saying any one does that here.
> 
> ???
> Why should I be concerned if he does it for comfort?? Don't children do many different things for comfort? i.e sucking fingers or dummies.
> He does it when he is in the room with us, so being left alone is not connected in any way.
> He also head bangs in his cot when he wakes up.
> He is never left alone for a long time so I know its nothing like that!Click to expand...
> 
> I didnt say you I said I, Me. Not you. :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> You said the following ' I would be concerned why its for comfort'
> So I asked why would you be concerned the he does it for comfort?Click to expand...
> 
> I feel answering that now after the way this threads gone will probably end up in a row. So I decline from answering it. Personally I would feel like that as I have experience of this. Maybe look up on google or something why children do things for comfort as I done my research on that subject a long time ago. :thumbup:Click to expand...

I really don't want a row either. I was the OP it was others that started the negative posts.
I just really am interested to know why you said that, that's all. Not to start anything :)


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## Dragonfly

Giving the last few pages of people taking offence at others opinions my opinion will not go down very well at all. Though its an interesting one sadly wont be taken that way.


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## Tiff

It's fair if DF doesn't want to start anything. Maybe she could pm you and that way there is no chance of others getting upset and derailing the thread again. :flower:


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## firsttimer80

Dragonfly said:


> Giving the last few pages of people taking offence at others opinions my opinion will not go down very well at all. Though its an interesting one sadly wont be taken that way.

Yes I can understand... maybe PM me? I am interested to know!! 
But yes I can imagine if you posted it you would get lynched!!!


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## Jchihuahua

:hugs: Daisybee. You always give great advice and you have offered me so much support over concerns I've had with Daisy. I'm not trying to derail the thread or anything but I have just read through it and I think it is important to say that Daisybee always offers valuable, non judgemental advice and she's a gem in the toddler section!

OP, I think it is a normal behaviour from a young child. My two don't so it but I have come across many children that do and I don't consider it to be anything to worry about.


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## seoj

firsttimer80 said:


> Bit of an embarrassing one here!! But does anyones little boy sort of hump things??
> He tends to do it on an evening when he is tired. He will lie on his front and put his hands towards that area and hump the floor or whatever he is lying on!
> Sometimes if his Dad is lying on the floor he will jump on him and do it then!!
> We laugh about it as he is innocent but i do wonder if many boys do this?
> 
> How can we discourage it without making him think he is naughty? As he doesnt know what he is doing.

I do think it's very normal and more common than we might think (prob just not something people always discuss). But my friends little boy also did this from an early age- they just let it be. I do think, when they are old enough to understand more, it's ok to encourage them to maybe only do this at home or in their beds etc... It can be a tricky one though. When it comes down to it- do what your comfy with as the parent.


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## bellaxgee

after all of this debate i will state my personal opinion as well as my personal experience.

i can't imagine my daughter ever say "i'm going to go hump now"

as far as experience, i did this when i was little and my mother called it "rocking". i would sit in a chair or lay on my side in bed and "rock" back and forth or "hump" as others would call it. as far as i can remember, i always did it because "it felt good" and it comforted me. it did not have a sexual reasoning behind it when i was little. as i got older and learned about sex i revisited my "rocking" and learned it is a way to pleasure yourself.

as a woman of 27 years with a 1 year old daughter, i am still mortified when my mother brings this up. if my little girl begins doing this i am not sure how i would handle it but i may just ignore it until and if it becomes a situation.


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## jaytee146

my lo does it.. I find if i react or redirect her she does it more so i ignore her and she stops :haha:


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## Itsychik

bellaxgee said:


> after all of this debate i will state my personal opinion as well as my personal experience.
> 
> i can't imagine my daughter ever say "i'm going to go hump now"
> 
> as far as experience, i did this when i was little and my mother called it "rocking". i would sit in a chair or lay on my side in bed and "rock" back and forth or "hump" as others would call it. as far as i can remember, i always did it because "it felt good" and it comforted me. it did not have a sexual reasoning behind it when i was little. as i got older and learned about sex i revisited my "rocking" and learned it is a way to pleasure yourself.
> 
> as a woman of 27 years with a 1 year old daughter, i am still mortified when my mother brings this up. if my little girl begins doing this i am not sure how i would handle it but i may just ignore it until and if it becomes a situation.


I could almost have written this same post.

I was going to say that I started doing this when I was a toddler, but unfortunately I didn't "grow out of it." My parents also used to call it "rocking" and tried to discourage me, but I'm embarrassed to admit this caused problems for most of my life. When I was little I never seemed to understand that this wasn't OK to do, especially in public, and I did this when I was in school up until I was in 3rd or 4th grade (9 - 10 years old). I was (of course) teased mercilessly and up until I was in high school a group of kids used to call me "squeaky" because that's the sound the chairs made when I was "rocking" on them.

I've actually never, ever, told anyone about that. :nope:

Looking back... I have no idea why I did it or why I never learned/accepted that it wasn't OK. I just knew at the time that it felt good. And I've never seen/heard of little boys doing it... but if any of my LO's ever start this I will do whatever I can to discourage it ASAP based on my personal experience, as even as an adult it has had an effect on my life. 

In response to previous posts: the only ones who called it "humping" when I was in school were the kids who made fun of me, but all the adults (the therapist my parents sent me to included) referred to it as "rocking."


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## LolaLou

To the OP, my 3 year old did it all time between the ages of 1 to 2 1/2. I never really gave it much thought, as I knew that it just was something comforting, that just felt good. Why do tots do half the things they do?:haha:

I would just kinda redirect her, and not mention it. I haven't seen her do it in awhile.

As for the "hump" debate.....I have only heard the word hump when we were in elementary school. NOT really a grown-up word. I think it does, in fact, describe the actual motion. Although I cannot imagine my daughter saying "I have to go hump now".....if I felt the need to give her a word to describe it, That word is fine.


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## polaris

Jchihuahua said:


> :hugs: Daisybee. You always give great advice and you have offered me so much support over concerns I've had with Daisy. I'm not trying to derail the thread or anything but I have just read through it and I think it is important to say that Daisybee always offers valuable, non judgemental advice and she's a gem in the toddler section!
> 
> OP, I think it is a normal behaviour from a young child. My two don't so it but I have come across many children that do and I don't consider it to be anything to worry about.

I just want to agree with what JC has said, I only read through the thread now as I don't have any relevant experience for the OP but I just wanted to offer my support to Daisybee. Personally I wouldn't see any issue with using the dreaded "h" word! It's a shame that the thread went the way it did, sort of reminds me of Baby Club, LOL, we normally all manage to be nicer to each other here in the toddler section.


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## Misstrouble19

I used to head bang also and ive noticed my son banging his head off the wall and i do discourage him i dont want him to go through what i did when i was a toddler. but i guess its all of a part of growing up


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## Kmx

I started this when I was really young and was never discouraged from doing it so I never grew out of it. I would do it in front of family and now looking bak I'm really embarrased. I never done it sexually or anything like that but now I realise why it felt good... Now that I'm older but at that young age it was just a comforting thing. If my LO done it I do think I'd discourage it or atleast encourage it in private becaus I wouldnt want him being embarrassed later in life. No one has ever mentioned it but I remember my sisters teasing me especially my older one who grasped the concept of sex. Just thought I'd share so u know it's completely normal. Cxx


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## lhancock90

Can i just leave this here;

humping present participle of hump (Verb)
Verb
Lift or carry (a heavy object) with difficulty: "he humped cases up and down the hotel corridor".
Move heavily and awkwardly: "the elephant seal humping along the ground in waves of blubber".


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## Tasha

My three havent done this but it was a fairly common thing when I worked in a nursery (six weeks to five year oldss).

Tiff, that would be a bit difficult to deal with. Would you consider asking her to do it in private only? i dunno its hard, you dont wanna make a big deal but....


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## suzib76

i dont really see why so many people are posting dictionary definitions of the word

like i stated originally when i said it shocked me it is a SLANG term


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## lhancock90

Yes but not everybody in the UK views this as a slang term! I certainly don't take OH off for a cheeky hump!


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## Tasha

suzib76 said:


> i dont really see why so many people are posting dictionary definitions of the word
> 
> like i stated originally when i said it shocked me it is a SLANG term

Suzi because this;



suzib76 said:


> Humping is an adult word, it has an absolute sexual meaning.

suggest that the sexual meaning you percieve to be there is the only meaning hump/humping and its simply not true.


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## Tasha

Oh and I have never used hump outside of this conversation, to do with camels or humps in the road as I use to call speed humps.


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## suzib76

Tasha said:


> suzib76 said:
> 
> 
> i dont really see why so many people are posting dictionary definitions of the word
> 
> like i stated originally when i said it shocked me it is a SLANG term
> 
> Suzi because this;
> 
> 
> 
> suzib76 said:
> 
> 
> Humping is an adult word, it has an absolute sexual meaning.Click to expand...
> 
> suggest that the sexual meaning you percieve to be there is the only meaning hump/humping and its simply not true.Click to expand...


but it IS being used to describe the action which mimicks sexual behaviour, which is why, for ME, i found the use of the word to be so shocking

the slang word shag also means carpet but if my 3 year old said they were off for one it wouldnt be right


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## Tasha

suzib76 said:


> but it IS being used to describe the action which mimicks sexual behaviour, which is why, for ME, i found the use of the word to be so shocking
> 
> the slang word shag also means carpet but if my 3 year old said they were off for one it wouldnt be right

The relation to shag carpet and hump makes NO sense, how exactly does one make a shag carpet action in order to say they are off for a shag?

Fair enough Suzi you dont like the word, but those are YOUR issues not the word itself and you didnt need to be so rude in your original reply nor through out this thread.


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## suzib76

i wasn't rude throughout the thread. in fact i have done nothing but reiterate throughout how i wasn't making a personal dig, nor a parenting judgement, i also suggested maybe it was a language difference between US & UK

you are right the shag thing makes no sense, but to me, neither did any other meaning for the word hump, because it was being used to describe that action so that is what i was talking about

my replies on this thread have been no more rude than anyone who has replied to me


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## Tasha

suzib76 said:


> i wasn't rude throughout the thread. in fact i have done nothing but reiterate throughout how i wasn't making a personal dig, nor a parenting judgement, i also suggested maybe it was a language difference between US & UK
> 
> you are right the shag thing makes no sense, but to me, neither did any other meaning for the word hump, because it was being used to describe that action so that is what i was talking about
> 
> my replies on this thread have been no more rude than anyone who has replied to me

Well we obviously have different views on what is rude and what isnt then. Adding eugh on the end of your first post in here is rude IMO, as is calling it seriously disturbing and vulgar when used in relation to something someone has used with their child, to name a few of the things you wrote. 

I am in the UK, many of the girls who have replied are in the UK. It isnt used in that way here, at all.

You dont get my point about the shag carpet, you can not make a shag carpet action, you can make a hump action (which is rising your bottom in the shape of a camels hump) and so using the word to say I am going to have a shag doesnt make sense. If for instance shag also meant to dance on your head and my children said I am going to shag now then yes i would allow it because why should I stop them using a word that is innocent to them because of what I connect that word to?


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## freckleonear

In my opinion humping describes the physical action first and foremost, hence why people talk about dogs humping legs or furniture.

DaisyBee, I'm so sorry you've had to deal with all of this when you were just trying to be helpful. :hugs:


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## cat lover

i see what u mean tasha, however the shag,analogy does make sense in a way, as hump refers to the humping action of sex, not making yourself into the shape of a camels hump. hump certainly has several meanings but one of them is a euphemism for sex. in any case, i guess we are way off topic now


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## cat lover

for the record daisybees comment WAS helpful and thoughtful and i am certainly not knocking her. different people use different words for different things


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## Andypanda6570

suzib76 said:


> i wasn't rude throughout the thread. in fact i have done nothing but reiterate throughout how i wasn't making a personal dig, nor a parenting judgement, i also suggested maybe it was a language difference between US & UK
> 
> you are right the shag thing makes no sense, but to me, neither did any other meaning for the word hump, because it was being used to describe that action so that is what i was talking about
> 
> my replies on this thread have been no more rude than anyone who has replied to me

I agree with you, you gave an opinion and I didn't take it as a dig. I also don't think you were rude either .We just have different norms here. To me Hump means sex, it is slang here in New York where I am from .My 3 boys did it all the time when they were little, they didn't know what it meant. I agree different people use different words for different things, what is an insult here may not be in the UK or wherever.. :flower:


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## Solace

Wow, i'm a bit of a lurker nowdays and i can honestly say that when ever an argument/debate whatever you want to call it happens here, you can always be sure you'll see the same names cropping up again and again..Some people can't help themselves, i'd personally not put any thought into what is said by these people. back to the question :)

It seems it is pretty common, although my son doesn't do it he plays with his 'winky' instead, but my dad told me a very cringeworthy story that might make you giggle...He said when i was about 3 i was already in bed when he came home from work, so he crept in to give me a kiss. He noticed i was awake and had really flushed cheeks and was a bit out of breath. He asked what i'd been doing..."playing with my nobbly bits" i answered :haha:
So yes, wanting to do something that feels nice is just human nature and we probably all did it in some form or another whilst little, your parents were just too embaressed to tell you :haha:


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## Solace

Oh and for what it's worth i'm in the UK and to me hump can mean sex, as well as it's other meanings. But I still don't think it's the wrong word to use in this circumstance


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## robinator

Since we're throwing around definitions, here's one:

*Beating a dead horse:* going round and round and no one is getting anywhere.


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## Baby France

suzib76 said:


> Well the thought of a 3 year old saying they were away to hump seriously disturbs me.
> 
> Is all very well saying we should use the correct words to describe things, but humping is a slang word for sex.
> 
> Yes I would use the word to describe my child doing that, if I were talking to other adults, but I wouldn't encourage a toddler to use a vulgar word like that.

I personally think that there are much worse words to use for a child humping than the actual word hump.



Ozzieshunni said:


> *Having dealt with child sex abuse victims, I would not use the word hump, but that's me personally. It does shock me a bit and make me uncomfortable, but that's based on my experiences. *

What has that got to do with the price of fish? I've dealt with people who've been sexually abused? Honestly, WHAT reference does it have to this thread? 

I think that you have to drop something like this in all the time as though it gives you a right to make what is, in my opinion a malicious comment?



TennisGal said:


> To be honest, I would never really think of the term 'hump' as sexual. For me 'humping' means lugging something heavy.

:thumbup:



Ozzieshunni said:


> Whoa, calm down DaisyBee. Maybe rereading my posts would help? I've said MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. If you hate my word usage, use the ignore function. Good day!

Why is it that you can't seem to have a debate without listening to the fact that you may have offended someone?

Why can't you just apologise? Instead you scream 'my personal experience' (of being a teacher, dealing with abused women, sexually abused children'....and tell people to ignore you?

Understand that you are not always right and getting people to ignore you, is not always the best way.


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## Ozzieshunni

I frankly agree with Robinator. Beating a dead horse. Baby France, you know what I'm going to say to you as well. :)


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## Baby France

Put you on ignore I bet :lol:


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## Lellow

Baby France ... Put Ozzie on :ignore: if you've got a problem with her ... Duuuuh :lol:


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## Ozzieshunni

Baby France said:


> Put you on ignore I bet :lol:

Damn skippy! Also, considering that an admin already said to go back on topic, I've been very good about not bringing up what my opinions were after that point. I'm not dragging it out. I won't sugar coat things to make people feel better. I'm sorry, that's just not me.


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## Baby France

Its not sugar coating its blatant taking it off topic and nasty.

I wonder how long it will be before you're only talking to yourself? You know, with all these people on ignore?


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## Lellow

:rofl: ^^^


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## Ozzieshunni

Baby France said:


> Its not sugar coating its blatant taking it off topic and nasty.
> 
> I wonder how long it will be before you're only talking to yourself? You know, with all these people on ignore?

So, I'm not allowed to be snarky and rude, but you are?

I was saying where the basis for my belief came from. Am I not allowed to do that for fear of hurting someone's feelings?

I may be blunt, but I'm not insensitive. I was defending suzi's opinion saying she wasn't the only one that felt like that as she was attacked for her opinion as well.


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## aliss

My son doesn't do this but I think it is actual quite normal. Yes, I would call it humping, and no it does not necessarily mean sex (here), it means the literal act of humping. There's no need to be ashamed about it as it is a normal action from normal children! For discouragement, have you thought of directing towards a particular toy when he starts?


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## Lellow

Seriously though Ozzie, you must tell people to put you on ignore at least once a day - Doesnt that tell you something about your approach.

A bit of kindness wont kill you...You seem to help all these vulnerable people in society yet you fail to talk to people on a forum with at least an ounce of empathy and compassion.

I gave you the benefit of the doubt for a long time now and just kept out your way, but i for one really hope admin ban you permanently cos your really making morale low in here.

Ive been a member on here for a fair few yrs and this isnt usually my style but quite frankly im getting so sick of reading such negativity where i like to come for support.

And no i wont put you on ignore, so save it.


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## Baby France

How many times am I rude, nasty and insensitive?

Very very rarely. Maybe I should report your post but there are only so many times you write out a very sarky reply before you be the adult, delete and walk away.

So yeah...I am. TODAY is MY day to tell you to stop bringing all these things you claim you can do.

A teacher? Criminology? Pschology? Abused woman, abused children? Yeah yeah yea...the orb of all knowledge. All hail Mother Ozzie.

Who by the way, has no empathy or the compassion to deal with these types of people. What do you do when THEY tell you that they don't like what you say, that you offended them? Tell them to put YOU on ignore no doubt.

Now....off to :coffee: AND to find this fecking ignore button you waffle on so much about.


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## Pixelle

Wow! Are we in baby club?!


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## Ozzieshunni

Do you read every post I put up Lellow? Frankly, there are people on here far worse than I am. I didn't expect anything to change after I was banned for a month and I don't think I'm the one that needs to grow up. I'm not going to take it anymore. Anything I say is ripped apart. I could say the most meaningless gibberish and someone would rip it apart! Don't you think that maybe that's why I'm so defensive sometimes? I'm not made of stone and I have many friends on here. It's the same people that seem to be hurt by my responses. So, admins, don't bother. I'll excuse myself.


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## AP

Thread off topic and closed


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