# Pansy & Mrsbroodypant.....and Lottie :-)



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi Catherine.

Thought it would be nice to chat here and go through the next 8 months together!!

Hope u find me in here!

Xxx


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## Pansy

Hi Janine!

Found it! I looked in the wrong section first, I'm so used to going to the TTC section of the forums!

How are you today? Did you manage to speak to your doctor? I had a telephone appointment with mine. She told me about an early pregnancy drop in clinic at the hospital if I have any problems between 6-14 weeks & that midwife will first see me at 8-9 weeks. Having my doctors notes updated to "pregnant" is surreal!

xxx


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## Pansy

Ooooh, just noticed your ticker has changed to an Appleseed! How exciting! That is loads bigger than a poppy seed!


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## MrsBroodyPant

Yes a poppy seed is sooo tiny. An apple seed is a lot easier to see lol.

I took another test this morning before ringing the doctors. It was a line test and it was nice and strong!! Im so pleased. I was worried it would of gone.

I rang doctors and made an appointment for 8.30am tomorrow. I didn't tell the receptionist what it was about. I think i need to speak to the doctor because they will have to tell my fertility clinic and things. Hubbys is off work tomorrow so can come with me.

Its good that u can go to a drop in clinic if u needed to. Did the doctor say anything else?


xxx
xxx


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## Pansy

She also said only take paracetamol for my cold (I'm trying to avoid taking anything) & Gaviscon rather than Rennies for indigestion. 

That's nice your hubby can go with you tomorrow & v good that the line is still strong. When I took a digital yest I was scared it wouldn't show up. My digital result has disappeared now too, must have run out of battery! DH has banned me from taking any more tests as he says we don't need to. (I don't know that I agree!). I didn't take my BBT today as someone said that can just cause undue worry.

When I texted DH to tell him the what the dr said, he texted back saying he still can't believe it's real! I wonder when it sinks in?

Do you feel a little like you haven't go a clue whats going on, or is it just me? I felt like I'd read all about TTC & knew what my body was up to, but I didn't dare read about this & it all feels so unknown! 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

yes i feel exactly the same. We became experts about ttc and learnt far more than we really needed to. I also did not let myself read anything about pregnancy. But now ive got loads of apps and cant stop reading!! Im also looking at mothercare and mamas and papas website and choosing things! Hope im not getting ahead of myself but hubby said to just enjoy it. I wouldnt buy anything until after 20 week scan anyway. We have to decorate the whole of upstairs yet!! 
Your hubby sounds sweet.

How old are u and hubby? when did u get married? im 28 and hubby is 33. our birthdays are in june so we will be 29 and 34 when the baby comes.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

p.s
I have also stopped taking my temp. Its amazing not having to do it after taking it everyday for so long lol x


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## Pansy

I'm 32, I will be 33 in June. Hubby has just turned 34. We got married nearly 3 years ago, just before my 30th. When I was growing up I always thought I'd have kids when I was 28, but health issues interfered with my 20s & it's only in the last couple of years I've felt well enough to consider starting a family. 

Have you recently moved, is that why you have to decorate? We moved from an unfamily friendly flat to our present house in 2011. We've always thought of one room as "the nursery" but have filled it with other stuff so it didn't emphasise what we were lacking. It became my sewing room just before Christmas! I thought if i had it all sorted as something else, it might encourage fate to mess with my plans!!

What apps have you downloaded? I downloaded Baby Bump & iPregnancy (I think). Quite like Baby Bump, although some parts are aimed at Americans.

I keep worrying about getting ahead of myself too, but we have decided that we would be upset if anything happened whether we got excited or not, so we might as well enjoy it now!


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## MrsBroodyPant

One app called babycentre pregnancy is good - lots of info.

We got married on 25th july 2010 so coming up 3 years! We moved into our new home in 2011. We put in a new kitchen and decorated downstairs but did nothing upstairs yet. We also have a little room which will become babys room. How exciting!!!

X


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## MrsBroodyPant

What did your digital hpt read? Was it 2-3? X


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## Pansy

Ooh, I like that app, it says I should book a weekend away! Don't think we will somehow, but it sounds like a lovely idea! 

We're meant to be going to London on Fri & I can't decide whether to or not. It would mean getting a 730am train & takes 2.5 hrs. The only thing we've actually booked is the day off, so we can easily cancel. I don't know what to do for the best. Feeling ill with a cold real isn't helping matters!

Yes, my Digi said 2-3 weeks. 

I just read on that app to avoid using harsh chemical cleaning products & wear gloves - I hadn't even thought about that! How strict do you think that is?


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## MrsBroodyPant

Aww london would be nice but if u dont feel up to it then perhaps go another time.
I want to visit london sometime this year as i want to see viva forever!
I dont know how strict the cleaning thing is but i will start wearing gloves! It says not to clean the oven so hubby will have to do that and ive told him to pick up after the dog as well lol 
Do u have any pets? Xxx


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## Pansy

Yes, what a shame we can't clean ovens, how I will miss that!!

We don't, strictly speaking, have a pet, but our neighbours cat is very friendly & comes round most days. He scratches on our patio doors until we let him in! I'm going to make sure I have gardening gloves on if I do any digging, to avoid the risk of contamination from him. What type of dog have you got? My parents have a black lab. At the moment he's only about 90% black, as he lent on some fresh paint. The nice white paint is now covered in black hair! What a muppet!

I went out and got fitted for a new bra this afternoon. It might be too soon, but I was just so uncomfortable it had to be one. It looks hideous, but I guess comfort is more important than looks at the moment.

Hope you get on alright at the octopus tomorrow. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I went to docs and they made me an appointment with the midwife for next wed 13th feb at 1pm. Ive got some paper work to fill in before i go. Its about screening for things like downs etc..

My dog is a border collie called hollie. She is black and white.....like your parents dog at the minute lol dogs do daft things!!
I always wear gardening gloves but still manage to get all mud under my nails! I dont get it lol. 
I feel like getting a new bra too. My boobs are very sore at night and ive been sleeping in a bra but id like a new comfortable one. I got a voucher for M&S!! Ive never had a bra fitting before. How do they do it? I would prob feel embarrashed xxx


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## Pansy

That's quick for your midwife appointment, how exciting! Does the paper work look scary? Does it make it seem any more real?

Hollie sounds cute. Collies have boundless energy don't they? How old is she?

I've always had bra fittings as my boobs seem to change size quite regularly, so I'm used to them. They measure you either over the top of a t-shirt or over your current bra. They then look at you in the bras they recommend to make sure the fit. I think it's a good idea, especially at the moment. I always think they've seen it all before & I won't have to see them again, so I don't get too embarrassed.

I'm very excited by the mail I received today! I had seen that London Underground give out "Baby on Board" badges to pregnant women a while ago & have really wanted to be able to get one. I ordered one on Fri & it arrived today. It looks like this: 

https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/2577391db71f2a9341508fef4ad5b11c.jpg
I probably won't wear it out, unless I go to London when I am huge, but I am very excited to be able to have it! I might wear it when I tell people! It doesn't count as a purchase, as it was free, so I decided I was allowed to order it! Here's a link to where it came from: https://www.tfl.gov.uk/gettingaround/transportaccessibility/1169.aspx#page-link-baby-on-board-badges

Have you been into any baby shops yet? There was one next door to the bra shop so I popped in yesterday, but there were women talking about labour, so I left quickly! I'm in denial about that whole part, taking it one day at a time so I don't get freaked out!

Do you have any snow? There was a tiny bit at the edge of the road on my way to work but none at home. DH said there was hail the size of marbles at his work.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

There was a thin layer of snow this morning but its all melted now.
I will go for a bra fitting soon -it doesnt sound too scary!! 
Yipee for your badge...thats exciting!!
Hubby & i went into a baby shop after our docs appointment today. We didnt look for long tho, i feel as if im just pretending to be pregnant at the moment so feel a bit of a cheat looking round lol. 
Yes hollie has lots of energy. She is 5 in sept so is getting calmer as the years go by 
Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

How u feeling? Im got a terrible cold now. Sore throat and bad cough. Feel awful today xxx


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## Pansy

Oh no, poor you! That sounds like the one I've got - that started with sore throat & then moved to a cough. Hope you feel better soon. Is hubby looking after you well?

I'm completely shattered today. I work for 6 hours, but I was exhausted after 3. I actually put my head on my desk & shut my eyes for a bit during lunch break. I wonder if my boos would install a bed for lunchtime naps?! Don't know how much is cold & how much is being pregnant.

We've decided against going to London tomorrow as I'm just not up to it. We're hoping to go to the coast on Sat instead. We're about an hour & a half from my favourite seaside town, Lyme Regis. We seem to always there when we have big things on our minds, like moving house or now being pregnant. It has lovely little shops to look round & a small harbour. Do you have plans for the weekend or can you just chill & get better?

Apparently my DH has got himself a mumsnet account & has been reading loads on there. He surprised me with how much he knows about the 12 week scan. He has even been reading about how to get the baby to sleep! It's still freaking me a little if I read too much. 

Hope you have a restful eve. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thanks hun. 
I feel rubbish but have managed to get through work. I think this cold is something to do with pregnancy but i get scared every time i cough - dont want to hurt the tiny baby.
That sounds like a lovely place to visit. I hope u have a great weekend!
My nanna is in hospital because she fell and banged her head very hard on a wall and now has internal bleeding on her brain. She is 93 and was very healthy before this! We have been told she only has a few days to live. Very sad.
Im thinking when she does pass away that once we get over the initial shock i might tell my mam that im pregnant.
It might help to keep her positive as my nanna is her mum.
My hubby has downloaded baby apps. It really helps because he sees it says things like i will be tired etc...he is looking after me well.
Xxx


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## Pansy

Oh no, I'm so sorry about your nanna. What a difficult time for you all. Telling your mum afterwards sound like a really good idea, give her omething else to think about & something to look forward to. Will this be her first grandchild? It will be my parents 1st, although DH's mum's 4th.

Glad to hear your hubby's looking after you well. I know what you mean about worrying each time you cough - I actually said to DH "I can't cough this baby out can I?"!

Can you believe it will a week since the BFP tomorrow? It seems like a lot longer than a week to me & yet also like a day ago.

Hope you get a good nights sleep & feel better tomorrow. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u!
This will be my mums 4th grandchild and my husbands parents 3rd. So we have had lots of practice with our gorgeous nieces and nephews!
Yes i cant believe its been a week tomorrow. Doesnt feel like ive known that long. Yet the 12 week scan seems so far away. 
I hope we get rid of our colds soon. Ive been eating oranges lol to get some vic c.
Ive been trying to eat well and get 5 fruit & veg a day. Trouble is they dont have many calories in and as im slim i feel i need to make sure i eat enough so my body can cope. I read u are supposed to eat 2300 cals when pregnant and i only ate 1800 today! I have an app that counts them for me. I got it whilst ttc because i was worried i was underweight to conceive. Xxx


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## Pansy

How are you feeling today? Any better? Our immune systems are meant to be lower at the moment aren't they, which is why the colds hang about so much.

We've been trying to eat loads of fruit and veg too. My GP said my iron was 46 or 43 when she'd like it to be over 50 when I had the CD21 test, so I'm trying to eat more iron rich foods. She said the supplements they prescribe have nasty side effects, so I'm trying to avoid them. Trouble is I don't eat red meat & I'm not a huge fan of eggs. We had omelette last night with spinach salad & I've been eating dried apricots (again, not a huge fan), so hopefully that will help. Are you taking supplements? I've been taking Pregnacare for 3 months. I bought the one with omega 3 this time as my pregnancy book said that was a good thing. It hasn't been delivered yet - I just hope it doesn't have the fishy after taste of other omega 3 pills I've taken! I haven't really felt like eating sweet things since before I found out. I just feel like fruit, so that helps. Don't know how long it will last tho!

You need to talk some sense in to me. As you know, DH has banned me from wasting money on tests, but today I feel a huge urge to take one. We have only done 3, 2 last Fri & one on Sat. I just want to see if line is darker & to check I am actually still pregnant, which is totally insane as AF is 10days late & nothing has changed since I got the BFP. I would buy the asda tests so that's £3.50 plus petrol to get there (15min each way) & I can't think of any other excuse to go to the supermarket, so it would be a total waste of a journey. It wouldn't show me anything I do not know & if the line wasn't darker, it would just panic me, so I so shouldn't do it should I? But I really want to! Have you done any more tests? I wasn't a POAS addict before, my AF was always so regular she arrived before I got a chance. 

I'm off to walk to the doctors to try to distract myself! We booked a SA test last week, so they will have delivered the sample pot to the surgery. I need to collect it or tell them to send it back (I think it will be less embarrassing to just collect it). We live in a small village & I wouldn't want to explain to the receptionist in front of everyone why we don't need SA at mo!

Hope you have a good day. I'll be thinking of your family. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I took 2 tests last friday (one line & one digital) and i took another line test on monday before i rang for my doctors appointment and the line was darker but i was scared in case it wasnt. Ive got a digital left and will do that soon as id like to see if it says 3+.
I only took more tests because i have them in the house. I wouldnt go and buy more. Its up to u though lol. 
I wasnt a poas addict either.
Im going to the supermarket to buy more fruit and healthy things. Im only taking folic acid. I did buy pregnacare but they are big and i cant swallow them. Do u think i should get another type of tablet? X


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## Pansy

I tested!!! Naughty Catherine!! One of my prescription items wasn't in stock at the drs, so I had to go to town to get that, so I decided that was fate telling me to test lol!! The line is still there - hurrah! It is only a little darker, but then this wasn't FMU, & it is definitely a strong line, so I'm happy. 

I also looked at the baby clothes while I was there, but you will be relieved to know I wasn't tempted to buy any!! My cousins wife is pregnant, due in Aug, so if I get caught looking at clothes I can say I'm looking for her.

My GP told me to keep taking the Pregnacare when I rang on Mon, but that's probably cos of my iron level. Are you known to be lacking in anything? I think folic acid is the most important thing. I have only tried Pregnacare so I don't know how big other makes are, but I imagine they'll all be quite big. Your midwife will be able to advise wont she? I wouldn't worry about it till then if I were you.

Which fruit is tempting you at the moment? I love mango so buy a pack of that each time I'm at the supermarket. I am also really liking bananas at the moment, which I read yesterday are good for B6, so that's a bonus!

I keep meaning to ask, what do you think got you your BFP this month? Did you do anything different? Was it the clomid? For us I think it was that we were less stressed. My office was closed for 3 weeks over Christmas & while DH had to work loads at Christmas, he had had a few shorter weeks since New Year. We went away for his birthday in early Jan & just completely chilled. I think that helped. I was also not stressing as I knew I was being tested so I knew I would get some answers about why it wasn't happening at last.

Hope you bought lots of nice things at the supermarket! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Congratulations on another bfp!!
I think it was the fact i had HSG done to clear out my tube and the clomid that got me my bfp. Over the months id tried many things like legs in the air or climax afterwards but simply u just need to get the sperm to the egg and i dont think i was ovulating properly before. 
I love oranges and bananas and grapes. I need to find some new fruits that i dont normally buy.
Im not buying any baby things yet either but cant wait until the day i can. Very exciting!!
Yes i will ask the midwife about what vits to take. Im prob lacking in everything lol. A chewable multi vit would be ideal.
I havent had sex yet since bfp, have u? Sorry for such a personal question. I really want to but scared i might bleed and ruin things
xxx


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## Pansy

I haven't either, I'm too scared! I asked the dr when I rang on Mon & she said it would be fine as long as there has been no bleeding. But then I keep reading about people bleeding & it freaks me out! I really want to too, keep dreaming about it (must be the hormones!). I said to DH at the beginning of the week let's wait till the weekend & give baby more time to settle in, but now the weekend is here, I'm still not convinced. I'm just as scared of orgasaming as actually having full sex.

It's a totally natural thing, surely it's fine? Surely if we couldn't do it nature would have found some way of preventing us? And loads of people who aren't trying & dont track AF must keep doing it before they find out they are pregnant & they are fine. Eeek! I'm really glad you asked, it so good to hear someone else is feeling the same!

I saw on another post you're not going to announce on FB. I totally agree with you on that, I just wouldn't do that. If people don't know me well enough for me to tell them in person, they don't need to know! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I feel exactly the same way about fb. And i found it hard when ttc to see everyones fb announcements so dont want to hurt anyone who may be having trouble ttc.
I really want to have sex to lol and my husband certainly does! I dont want him to think ive got what i want now so he is no longer needed! I might try soon and just go gentle and slow. But if i bleed then i will totally regret it! I might jist wait to ask the midwife.....if hubby can wait that long!! I keep dreaming about it too.

Have u showed your hubby your test from today yet? X


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## Pansy

DH just rolled his eyes when he found out I'd tested again! He was pleased it was still positive, but obviously not surprised! 

Have you given any thought to names? We spent some time last night going through boys names, which was fun. He was reading from a section of mumsnet where they ask for advice on names (I can't believe how into mumsnet he is!). He then found website that generates names for you & we were laughing at what they came up with. I made a note of a few names we liked, but I expect it will change. In 2008, before we were even engaged, we chose a girls name & that's still my favourite. There is a boys name that we both suggested when asked by family members, me when I was 3, DH when he was 24, so we're considering that for a boy, although I'm not as keen on it now as I was when I was 3!! I just really hope my cousin doesn't steal our names in August! (We haven't told anyone what they are)

How long have you been with your DH? How did you meet? We met through Internet dating in 2005. My health problems meant I was pretty much housebound & he works shifts so could meet people easily. We emailed for a few weeks & then met up for a meal & the rest is history!! I find it weird to think that's how we met now, but it was obviously just the way fate wanted to get us together! I only had a 3 day free membership to the site!

It's a miserable looking day today here, how is it there? Not ideal seaside weather, but I'm hoping we'll still go. DH is still asleep. I woke up early feeling sick so thought I'd better get up & eat. This is only 2nd morning I've felt like this. Do you have much nausea?

Hope you are feeling better & have a nice day. xxx


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## Pansy

Woohoo! I've graduated to Appleseed!


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## MrsBroodyPant

Appleseed!!!!!!

We both like the name Chloe for a girl but dont have a clue about a boys name. I just dont seem to like many and the ones i do like have already been used by friends & family.

I met my hubby in 2005 as well. He is the manager of currys/pc world but back then just worked on the shop floor and i was in there buying a camera. I thought he was gorgeous and nice so when i left i gave him my number! Never done anything like that before but im glad i did! He text me a few days later when id totally forgot about it and we went out for drinks. Turned out he lived in the village next to mine and we had lots in common.

I hope u have a good day at the seaside and enjoy looking round the shops. Its quite bright here today. Im going to work now til 3pm! 
Luckily i dont have any ms yet. Im keeping my cold more under control too with hot lemon drinks! 
Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Im a sweet pea!!!! 

And i took my other digital test just now and its still bfp....thank goodness 

PREGNANT 3+

XXXX


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## Pansy

Yey for sweet pea! (What's a sweet pea? I thought it was a flower??!)

Congrats on your 3+. That means your HCG levels are raising as they should doesn't it, or else it wouldn't say the right week? How exciting! I read all the posts from US women where they get blood checks to reassure themselves the levels are doubling like they should & feel very envious that they can do that. But then it would probably just worry me! 

I love the story of how you met your hubby. So brave of you to give him your number, but obviously meant to be! How funny that we met our husbands in same year, got married in the same year, moved house in same year & are now going through first pregnancy at the same time! When did you get engaged? It was 2008 for us. I wanted a long engagement (20months) as I'd been waiting so long to be a fiancée, I didn't want to rush it!

It was lovely to go to the seaside yesterday, it had its usually calming effect on us. We only stayed for a couple of hours as it was raining at times & I wasn't feeling well. The smell of fish & chips & fried food was turning my stomach, which was odd! The weirdest thing was that we called into Waitrose on the way home & I normally love looking at the patisserie counter, but all the lovely cakes turned my stomach as well. I don't think my baby has a sweet tooth at the moment!!

What are you up to today? We have invited my parents over for tea. We were looking forward to being able to talk openly about the pregnancy, but we found out last night my brother is home from uni for the weekend, so now we have to hide anything pregnancy related! It will be lovely to see him, I just hope we don't let anything slip! How are you finding keeping the secret? When we visited MIL last week, at first I found it hard to think of anything to say, as the only news I could think of was I'm pregnant!

Hope you have a good day! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I think i sweet pea is just a little pea...im not sure actuallyha ha! Yes looks like my hcg levels must be rising. I expect the midwife would prob check them as well. 
Strange how we have so many similar milestones! But i got engaged in 2009! Close tho lol. 
Im glad u had a lovely time yesterday. Shame about the rain and food smelling funny. I had fish and chips yesterday! 
Today we are going to visit my nanna in hospital - no change in her condition at present. Then we will do a bit of DIY at my mums/nannas house as we are ripping out her kitchen from 1961!!! My mum sold her house and moved in to look after my nannaa few years ago. I wont be doing much work now im preggers tho! But i need to look busy lol.

Just before xmas when we were still ttc, our best friends told us they were expecting and due in june. We were happy for them but we were ttc whilst they got engaged then married and we had expected to get pregnant before them. I told my mum they were expecting but didnt dare tell the inlaws as i felt i was letting them down and they would think it should be us! But now we have our own special secret, we told the inlaws about our friends last night. I didnt want them to see her in the village or somewhere and see her 20 week bump!!! We pretended we had just known a week and were vague about her due date. They didnt say anything about us but i know when we tell them in a few weeks they will be over the moon!! And im pleased they now know about our friends as i was worried about that.
I nearly told my mum by mistake because she wanted me to take something for my cough and i nearly said but is it safe when pregnant! But i just went into the kitchen and pretended to take it lol. Other than that its quite easy to keep the secret as everyone is focused on nanna. 
What are u doing today?? X


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## Pansy

Hello! How are you today? How did the DIY go? Did you avoid doing anything without making your mum suspicious? How was your nanna?

I know what you mean about feeling like you've let in laws down by not being pregnant. We haven't told my MIL about my cousins wife being due in Aug (diff side of family, but she'd still like to know). I have been sort of avoiding talking about babies, which must seem odd to anyone who knows me, but it was too hard while TTC. My sister in law had been putting loads of pressure on us since we got married, which i found really hurtful, but couldnt say.

My cousins wife told us she was pregnant when she was 7 weeks on Boxing Day - I had to go out of the room for a few minutes to pull myself together. I was happy for them, but also sad for us. Now I can't wait to tell them our news! It seems so long to the 12 week scan!! 

Is your hubby going with you to the midwife appt? Mine would like to, but I didn't know if it was normal to. I wonder when my midwife will make contact...

I'm so sleepy today. I don't know if its progesterone or something else. Had to drive my brother to the station & could barely keep my eyes open. It's snowing here now, hope it doesn't settle. Do you have any? xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi.
No snow here yet. I hope it doesnt start.
My nanna died this morning :-( so thats really sad. We are all ok though as were expecting it. I really want to tell my mum now about being pregnant but will prob wait until after the funeral i think.
Yes my hubby is coming to the midwife with me. I think its best he comes as they want to know family history on both sides. 
I cant believe im going to see a midwife!! Sounds crazy lol.
Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Strange how we both avoided telling our inlaws about other peoples pregnancies.
Also, like your cousins wife, my brother and his wife announced their pregnancy round my house when i had cooked a big sunday lunch for all the family. I gave them a hug but had to leave the room. It was very hard as they had only got engaged in oct 2011 then married in dec 2011 and got pregnant in jan 2012. I hoped i would be pregnant by the time their baby was born but i didnt. Now their baby will be one when mine is born.

It works out alright being the last family member and friend to get pregnant as im expecting to get lots of hand me downs lol and my baby will be the youngest and the youngest is usually the cutest!!! 
Xxx


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## Pansy

Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear about your Nanna. I hope you're all still ok. I'm glad you have your midwife appointment to look forward to. My husband will be hopeless at giving a family history. He is usually never ill himself & hasn't taken much notice of what other people have! I'll have to subtely find a way to ask his mum!
None of my friends from school have had children yet, although I do have other friends who have. My best friend doesn't want kids & doesn't seem to understand people who do. I think it will be tricky telling her. I've been sort of dropping hints about TTC for a while to try to get her used to the idea. She lives on the other side of the country, so it's not like it will affect when I see her really, I just hope she'll still talk to me on the phone!
I'm feeling the worst nausea yet today. I was awake for ages in the night feeling sick & I have had to really force myself to eat my breakfast. I've been lying on sofa for an hour, trying to get courage to get up. Luckily I woke up early, so I am not late for work yet!
Hope you're feeling ok. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Aww poor u with ms. I havent got any yet. Infact i hardly feel pregnant and starting to worry that i might not be. I get bloated on an evening and sore boobs and tired but thats it! I dont know if u watch corronation street? I love it! But i remember that julie got positive tests and wasnt pregnant. After ttc for so long im finding it hard to believe.

Im sure your friend who doesnt want children will be very happy for u. Everyone will be!!! 

I hope your ms has stopped so u can go to work without it xxx


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## Pansy

They sound like good symptoms to me, I'd happily swap! I'm not extra tired at the moment, my boobs are tender, but I've been nauseous most of the day. My DH is working the late shift this week, so I had to force myself to eat tea with no one to distract me. I have felt a lot better once eating though, so a good meal was obviously what I needed. 

I don't watch Corrie, the only soaps I watch are Neighbours & Home & Away. There are lads of threads on the first trimester board about people not having any symptoms, so I'm sure it's completely normal. It's still very early. 

Are you excited about tomorrow? I can't wait to hear how you get on & what happens at the first appointment. Do you go to your locals drs or the hospital? We have to go to the little hospital (can't remember what they call them, cottage hospitals? Not a proper one with operations, just a little one) apparently, as the midwife has stopped coming out to us.

How's your mum doing? I hope she's coping ok.

Do you watch Call the Midwife or One Born Every Minute? I've never watched OBEM as I think it would scare me. I watched the last series of CTM but haven't watched this one as I don't think it would help! I'm taking it one day at a time, I'm not thinking about that part until I have to.

What are your thoughts on finding out what sex the baby is? I've always thought I wouldn't want to & thought it was a shame to spoil the surprise, but now I really want to. We probably still won't though.... At the weekend DH admitted he had a slight preference for one sex & although I wouldn't admit it, I have the same, although obviously we'll both be delighted with any baby. 

Our neighbour as a very friendly chicken. This morning I left my car door open for a second & when I came back, I found the chicken in my car!!! She was exploring the drivers footwell! It is complete madness living here! Luckily she hot out of her own accord & didn't get scared & make a mess!

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Lol the chicken sounds funny!! My mam is planning on getting some in her garden this spring.
I just had my tea and got far too full and was sick a tiny bit. Ok now though. Im glad u managed ok today.
I used to love neighbours and home & away but dont watch them now. I always watch OBEM i really like it. Always makes me hide behind a cushion when they are giving birth and makes me cry when they hold their baby. I feel like it helps prepare me as u see so many different labours and situations. I have never seen CTM, might watch it!
I feel the same about finding out the sex. Now im pregnant i really want to know! But i think we wont. For some reason, not finding out is like proving to the world that u dont mind which sex u get. I really dont mind which sex. A girl would fit into my life easier as i have a pink shop and teach dance but a boy would be such an experience and change as i have over 100 little girls at dancing!! Im not as used to boys. Which sex are u swaying towards? If u dont want to say thats ok .
Im fine thanks and my mum is too. I see her everyday so im looking after her lol. We think the funerale will be on tuesday.
Have u started looking at prams yet? I would like a silver cross and really like one they have in grey. I cant help looking, its so exciting!!
Im looking forward to my appointment. I will tell u all about it. I hope the midwife is nice  xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

So ive had my first appointment!! 
I was excited but then got nervous and felt sick before i went in.
I didnt get to meet the midwife that has been asigned to me, there were two midwives there from a different district.
Anyway, they asked lots of questions from a thick booklet. Questions mainly about health, any previous pregnancies. Am i depressed?is my husband the babys father? Am i happy about the pregnancy? Etc...
Then i had a carbon monoxide test where i had to breathe into a tube, had bloods taken, blood pressure done and did a urine sample. I got a bounty pack with lots of info in and a blue folder for all my notes which i need to take to each appointment. We talked about screening for downs and i would like that test done. 
We now wait 2 weeks for a letter with a date for the 12 week scan!!! 
Im very excited about the scan but nervous too. I just hope everything is ok in there! 
They said my EDD is oct 7th which is my brothers birthday! I think that will change a bit when i get a scan as i know i ovulated later than cd14. 

Its snowing here now!! 
Hope u are ok xxx


----------



## Pansy

How exciting! That all sounds great! How long did it take? Do you have to decide now about the Down's syndrome test? I haven't thought about it. That's great you'll know when your scan is soon, it'll be a milestone to look forward to. 

I'm feeling pants today. Started the day by throwing up & have felt nauseous since. Feel exhausted this eve. Bought some different ginger biscuits, some ginger tablets & some travel sickness bands. I know no one likes being sick, but since I was a child I've been extra scared of it, so I'm really not happy about starting at 5weeks 4 days. As I was forcing my evening meal down I was thinking how am I going to manage this whole pregnancy thing? Which is so stupid, because I've wanted it for so long. I'm sure it will all feel different tomorrow. Im hoping symptoms go up & down & soon my body will adapt to this. Sorry to whinge.

Is the snow settling? We had some this morning but it soon turned to rain. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

The snow was laying but melting now. 
The appointment lasted about 45mins. We had to decide there and then about the first stage of the downs testing which tells u if u are low or high risk. After that, if u are found to be higg risk u can decide if u want to go ahead with the actual test.
Sorry u are having a hard time with ms. Buying all those ginger things will help. Remember it wont last forever. It will prob go as quick as it came.
Im still worrying about not having many symptoms. Id hate to get to the 12 week scan and find there is no baby!
Did u say u work part time? Which days do u work? What does your dh do? Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello! How are you? I had a rubbish night yesterday, awake from 3am feeling sick & then sick twice before I got up. Had to manage a whole day at work on 4 hours sleep. While I was working I grazed every hour or so on food - the work formed a good distraction from what I was putting in my mouth. I felt better by the end of the day & managed a better nights sleep & this morning I got up early to eat so haven't been sick - hurrah! My plan today is to keep my mid as occupied as possible so I distract myself.

I work Tues & Thurs & sometimes Wednesday. DH works in a cheese factory, making protein that is used in baby food among other things. He works different shifts each week - sometimes very early starts, sometimes late finishes. He got in at 1am last night. I wouldn't have felt up to celebrating Valentines Day, but it was a shame we on,y got to see each other for 30mins at lunchtime. Did you celebrate? We never go out for a meal or anything, we just used to have a nice meal at home. 

What is the first Down's syndrome test? Is it invasive? There's one where they take a sample from the umbilical chord isn't there?

What type of dance do you teach? I used to do ballet & tap when I was little but was never any good. Do you put on end of term shows for the parents?

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Your DH's job sounds interesting! baby food!!!

I teach ballet, tap, modern, cheerleading and street dance. Yes I put on big shows. We are working towards dance exams at the minute but should be doing a Christmas show which I won't be now im expecting, but as my mum doesnt know, she keeps bugging me to book the theatre and everything as it does need booking well in advance! I need to keep making excusues to put it off for the next few weeks lol. 

Ive been eating little and often (i usually do that anyway really) maybe that has helped me from getting MS yet. I have felt sick a few times but nothing like u are experiencing. Poor u actually being sick! I hate being sick. I think an empty tummy makes you worse.

We were both working last night til 8pm so didn't celebrate valentines. We had our tea with my mum! How romantic!! I was thinking of having sex but still don't dare. Have u yet? DH is really really really wanting too.....makes me feel mean!

The first stage of the downs testing is not invasive at all. They just look closely at the scan at 12 weeks and measure the fluid at the back of the neck and also do a blood test. It's the second stage that is risky. They take some of the fluid from the sack or something. Hopefully the first stage comes back as low risk as i wouldnt know whether to go ahead with the second stage or not. I'd have to consider it at the time. 

I had a frightening dream last night where i came on my period and i was actually crying in my sleep and DH had to tell me everything was ok and i was just dreaming. When i told him about the dream he said i shouldnt be thinking like that and i will make it happen if i have all these bad thoughts! I said I can't help what i dream about!! But i have been thinking negatively lately. I need to be more positive!
I just find it strange that i don't feel pregnant but then i think, well i have never been pregnant before so how am i suppose to feel? I don't know what being pregnant is supposed to be like, so maybe this is it!! If u know what i mean lol....im going mad lol 
xxx


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## Pansy

What a horrible dream, it made me cry too! (I am v tired & emotional). You can't help what you dream & it's totally natural to be worried, especially so early. Plus your hormones are probably making you overly worried & you did lose your nanna this week, so I don't think you're being overly negative. Surely what we think & feel can't really make that big a difference, what will be will be. 

Still no sex here either, definitely not feeling like it at the mo. We did have some intimacy at the weekend & I came & then spent all day checking I wasn't bleeding! I was fine, but I'm not sure it was worth the worry.

I'm feeling better today, touch wood. I've spent the afternoon with a couple of friends. One of them has 3 kids including a baby born last May. DH said I was allowed to tell her, cos I don't see her v often & she doesn't know anyone else I know, so there's no risk she'll tell anyone before we do. She thought my sickness was really early, so it's probably me that's odd, not you. It was nice to be able to talk to someone about it & get tips. As she's on her 3rd, she's all relaxed & not worried about sticking to every rule, which I think I might be doing. Probably a first time thing. 

I might tell my best friend this weekend. She lives on other side of country & I'm meant to be going to stay for 2 nights next week, but I really can't cope with it with the ms. It's bad enough being sick in my own house, let alone someone else's. I don't know whether to tell her the truth or claim I'm ill. I don't like lying to her. But she's the one who doesn't want kids so I don't think she'll be that thrilled when I tell her. If anything bad happened, I'd want to tell her that & have her support, so DH thinks I can tell her. It just seems too early. My friend today said with her 1st 2 she told everyone at 6 weeks & didn't regret it, so maybe just telling one more person wouldn't hurt. It's so tricky!

You probably are feeling exactly how you should feel when pregnant. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones who get away with few symptoms. My SIL barely had any symptoms with her 3, she was sick once with the girl, not at all with boys. My mum was only sick once too, I don't know what's going on with me!

What are you up to ths weekend? xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I think once u tell someone, u get the bug for telling people. I think id want to tell the world once my mum knows. But if u would tell your best friend if something were to go wrong then u might as well tell her now 
I took photos of my digital tests and each night i have to look at the pics just to believe it! Its a shame the display disappears in real life.
Im working all day tomorrow then we are going to the inlaws house for tea. Sunday we dont have any plans. We will prob go for a nice walk and relax. 
What are u doing this weekend? X


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## MrsBroodyPant

Think im starting with ms. Felt sick in the night and this morning xxx


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## Pansy

Oh dear, poor you. Keep eating. I think the travel sickness bands work too, they seem to make me feel a bit better.

We don't have any plans for the weekend. I think DH wants to go shopping at some point & we will probably visit his mum & my parents, but apart from that just relaxing. I want to keep busy though to keep my mind occupied. No ms again today, although I was awake in night for an hour feeling sick. Put my bands on & got back to sleep eventually. I'm so tired in the evenings at the moment. I get all shakey from 6 onwards & then am asleep by 9. What a party animal!!

I'm a sweet pea! V excited to have reached the 6 week mark, as now drs seem to think its more valid. I would be allowed to go to the early pregnancy unit if there were any problems now.

Going to ring my friend in a bit, just trying to pluck up the courage.... Still don't know whether to tell her or lie. Feel rubbish for cancelling, but I just can't do it at the moment. It's understandable isnt it? 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Totally understandable. U wouldnt want to go there feeling ill under normal circumstances so being pregnant u have to be even more careful. Just decide for definate what u are going to tell her before u make the call. As id prob change my mind about 10x whilst it was ringing lol. 
I dont feel as bad now. Havent had much to eat tho. Starting work in a few mins. But ive got snacks for the day. 
Have a good day hun xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Oh congrats on the sweet pea! What ever it is!!! Lol x


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## Pansy

Ooh, your a blueberry! I know what that is!! Maybe sweet pea is a petit pois if it has to be smaller than a blueberry?

How are you? Any more ms? I've been trying really hard to distract myself. My mum thinks I was getting too tense about the sickness bit. I've been avoiding the forums & trying to think of other things. Everything except cheese & toast tastes disgusting at the moment. I can't stand anything sweet, even cordial which I normally drink. How are your taste buds?

I got my midwife appointment today! 8th March. I made sure DH will be there, as they are going to give me a tour of the birthing unit & I really can't face that on my own! They say I can ring them 24 hours a day now, so that's reasurring. 

Good luck for tomorrow, I hope it goes as well as these things can. xxx


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## Diamondz

Hello, looking for mums to be in or around my area due in Oct.


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Im not feeling any ms again but i have had a bad magraine saturday and sunday! Food still tastes the same to me but i dont feel like eating chocolate and sweets like i usually do.
Yes its the funeral tomorrow. I will let u know how it goes.
Its exciting that u have your midwife appointment!! Not long to wait . Good that DH can go with u and u are getting a tour!! It will begin to feel so real.
I hope u are coping ok with the ms.
Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,
Hows things?
The funeral went well today. It was a lovely send off.
Afterwards we told my mum about the baby!!! She is very very excited! Cant wait to talk to her about it even more. 
Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!
I'm glad the funeral went well & so pleased that you are now able to talk to your mum. It must be so great to have another person to talk to after keeping it secret for so many weeks. 

I'm still suffering from ms. Everything, including tap water, is now tasting absolutely disgusting, so that's really not helping. I'm really not enjoying this at the moment. It's taking away from the excitement. 

Did you see the pics of Kate Middleton's baby bump? It looks very small & neat. I doubt I'll look that neat as I'm no where near as slim.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Sorry to hear your ms is spoiling your experience. Wish i could stop it for u! 
I havent seen any pics of kate for ages. I will have a look online. 
Im only a size 6 and people say to me 'how will u ever have a baby, there will be no where for it to go'! So rude! Lol. Hopefully i will find somewhere for it to grow 

Are u managing to work with ms or have u taken any time off? 
Xxx


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## Pansy

Yes, very rude! Is your mum tiny too? I'm sure your body must've been designed with room for a baby to grow!

I have been managing work, although I had Tues off as I was meant to be staying at my friends. When I'm at work I have less time to notice feeling sick, so that's better. Unfortunately today I was sick at work, which was very embarrassing. My colleague asked if I was alright but luckily didn't say any more. She is a smoker & I can't stand the smell on her clothes, it was making me feel queasy all PM. She doesn't have a fag break or anything, but she still smells. It is tricky to keep my distance without looking weird. 

Have you been talking about it loads with your mum? Have you got a scan date? How's your migraine? xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Sorry to hear u were sick at work. I should count myself lucky that i dont feel sick but im going crazy again today thinking i have no symptoms and if the baby is ok. I was talking about it so much that hubby has bought me another htp to take in the morning. I really need convincing this is real. I think because neither the doc or midwife confirmed my pregnancy as they say hpts are so good that they dont need to but i wish they would. My mam said she didnt feel sick with any of her 3 children. So maybe im just like her. She is slim too but not as slim as me. My nanna was as slim as me tho. 
Still no date for scan yet. No more migraines either! 
Bet your excited for your midwife appointment xxx


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## Pansy

Did you do your test this morning? I'm sure it's all fine, especially as your mum didnt feel sick. Only 80% of people get morning sickness, you must just be the one in five who doesn't. You wouldn't get positive Hpgs if there wasn't anything going on. And the fact you haven't had a period is the biggest sign. I know it's easy for me to say, but I would try not to worry. Enjoy every day when you don't have symptoms, there's plenty of time for symptoms to affect your life before October!

Are you telling anyone else now your mum knows? Can you believe it's been 3 weeks since we found out? I can't believe I've managed to keep it from so many people for this long! Only 5 more (long) weeks till I can tell people. This time in 2 weeks I will have Ben to midwife- how exciting! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

My test was a line test and was totally utterly positive!! The line is so strong and as dark as control line. Its so strong that it looks like i coloured it in!! Its put my mind of rest.....for now 

We dont plan on telling anyone else until after the scan. Did u end up telling your best friend? 

The 3 weeks have gone quite fast actually. I cant wait for a scan date and the scan. Yes we need the next 5 weeks to go faster lol. Cant wait to tell everyone!! 
Xxx


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## Pansy

Glad to here line was so dark lol. Hope that has put your mind at rest. Baby's probably thinking "why don't you believe I'm in here, Mum?!"!!

I did tell my friend. She was surprisingly interested, although slightly in a thank-goodness-it's-you-not-me type way! She said she definitely doesn't want kids. I had to make up an excuse not to go & have a meal at my brothers tonight (evening meal is the worst). I don't know how long I'll be able to make up excuses for.

Are you working today? I think we're going to brave the cold & go out somewhere to try to distract me. DH appears to have woken up with a cold, which isn't great. Really don't want to catch that on top of the ms! 

Hope you have a god weekend. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hope u are having s nice day.

Ive been feeling sick all morning. Was nearly going to cancel work but ive got through it!!!! Havent eaten much. Just a couple of biscuits and a banana.

Got friends round tonight for an indian. Dont feel like it now but hopefully will later. 
Ive got a friends bday meal next week which i think im going to make an excuse up not to go as wont be drinking and just dont fancy eating around people.
Its snowed here...have u got any? X


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## MrsBroodyPant

i got my letter today for my scan! 

Tuesday 26th March at 1.20pm

xxx


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## Pansy

How exciting about your scan! One month today! How many weeks will you be then?

How has you ms been? I has my worst day yet yest, but not so bad today. Trying to focus on other things. 

My DH has gone pushchair mad! We picked up some brochures on Sat & he. Has been studying them ever since. He seems to have very expensive tastes! He likes the icandy strawberry. I liked it too in the shop, as its light, but it seems very expensive. Do you have any preference yet?

Have you been brave enough to try sex yet? I still haven't, but really haven't felt like it with ms. I showed DH my nipples at the weekend to show him how thy we're changing & he screamed!! Really not very confidence building!!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I will be 12 +2 on the day of my scan. Just cant wait to see if there is a baby in there lol.

I felt sick sunday night but we stayed up late as hubby put up new curtains in the living room and i just got very tired and past it. Other than that i have been ok.
Ive looked at a few pushchairs online but not in life. I would like a silvercross i think but not sure really. 
So sweet that your hubby is getting excited!!
I havent had sex yet either but i do feel horny lol. I want to have sex but so scared it might spoil something. I will let u know if i dtd sometime lol. Whats happening to your nipples? Mine seem a bit larger but thats all
Xxx


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## tessjs

Hi 

Hope nobody minds me chiming in.I remember Mrsbroodypants from some of the TTC forums.I got my BFP confirmed on Monday and am expecting Oct 30.I am five weeks and obviously very nervous and trying to get through the ensuing weeks...This is my first and am 38 nearly 39 and really scared...just wanted to say hi and hope everybody's pregnancy s are going well.

I will take any advice! Wondering how you all were doing at 5 weeks...


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi tessjs,

Congrats on the bfp! As this is also my first pregnancy i dont have much advice to give. At 5 weeks i felt like i do now....not many symptoms! I have a constant cold, tired and sore boobs but not much else. Poor pansy has bad sickness that lasts all day. 
I hope u have a happy & healthy 9 months xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,
Are u having a nice weekend?what u been up to? Not long til u see the midwife  xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

How are you? Sorry I haven't been on here for a while. Sickness is continuing to dominate my life. Really not enjoying it. I am keeping food down, but am sick in night, on waking & between meals. It feels like I'm enduring each day. Really hope this stage will be over soon!

I'm very excited about seeing midwife on Fri. It seems like a milestone to make it to. It won't actually make any difference will it, but at least it's something to look forward to. I wonder if I will be given scan date then or have to wait to get it by post.

I'm also itching to tell people. I can't believe it's still 3 weeks. It will be great when we can talk to people. Are you enjoying talking to your mum? Have you told anyone else?

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,
Sorry to hear how u are feeling so sick. Ive missed u on here! 

Ive had days where im going crazy and not believing im pregnant. My mum and DH must be getting fed up of having to convince me that i actually am pregnant. I do get quite bloated on an evening, do u? I really like it when my tummy sticks out and helps me to feel pregnant. 
Also.......we had sex on monday night!! Only lasted about 4 mins lol but feel good now ive done it and all seems well afterwards. 
Only a couple of days to your appointment! I think u will get your scan date in the post as thats how i got mine. 
2 weeks and 6 days til my scan!!! Really hoping all is well.

Hope your ms gives u a break soon xxx


----------



## Pansy

Oh dear re still not being convinced! I wonder when we start feeling them move, that ought to convince you! I don't think I get bloated at night, but I haven't really been looking below my boobs ( which just look alien to me now, they are huge!!). With the ms I've lost 3 kg since finding out, which I definitely could do with, so that's quite good, ESP as I reckon my boobs must be about a kg heavier!!

Yey re the sex!! Glad it didn't cause any problems. Nothing here still, definitely not in the mood. DH hasn't been worrying for it, don't think he finds me that attractive in my nauseous state! 

I had my midwife appt this Am - yey! She was really nice and the birthing unit seemed modern & clean. V tempted to have the bay there now, although I'm worried about it not being a proper hospital with theatre. Anyway, meeting midwife was fun. It took 1.5hrs. My favourite question was "are you & the baby's father related biologically?"!!! I didn't get a Bounty pack as they had run out. Does it ave anything good in it?

Have you joined Cow & Gate pregnancy club? They sent me a pregnancy diary & cow toy last week. (I opted out of formula marketing) They also have a helpline you can ring with queries, which is quite good if you feel it's something too trivial to bother midwife with. I rang about my ms & they were v reassuring.

How exciting that your scan is so soon. I should hear about mine by the end of next week. I think it will be the week after Easter.

Won't it be cool next year when (touch wood) Mothers Day will be for us too? Will your mum find it hard ths year?

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello! 
Glad u appointment went well and your midwife is nice. The bounty pack looks far more exciting than it atcually is. Got lots of leaflets in, a couple of vouchers i will prob not use and a little book but their in more info on our phone apps then im the little book.

Your a green olive now!!!!

I also joined cow&gate and got the cow & diary. The cow smells funny lol. Its good that they have a careline - i could ring about not believing it but they would prob think i was mental lol.

We are seeing DH mum on sunday morning and then mine on the afternoon. Need to keep my mum busy this year i think. What are your plans?

Let me know as soon as u get your scan date. Did they say it would come in the post? Mine did & took almost 2 weeks from midwife appointment
Xxx


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## Pansy

Yes, they said it would come in the post, but should be here by next Fri as there aren't that many weeks left when it has to be done at 12 weeks!

We're going to see both our mums on Sunday somehow, although my mum has a cold, so if she's still infectious I won't be seeing her. Trying very hard to avoid any one with germs at the moment! Last year we cooked a meal for them both, this year I can barely organise getting some flowers! Hope DH's mum will understand how rubbish we're being when she finds out reason why in a few weeks.

If you feel like it, ring the cow & gate people. They were really sympathetic & helpful, they wouldn't think you were insane. It might make a change from talking to your DH about it.

We're off to look at pushchairs at John Lewis today apparently. It's a bit of a long journey, so I'm not looking forward to that. DH bought me some aeroplane style sick bags, which helps me feel a bit more relaxed in the car! (Although I refuse I touch/look at them till I need them - I've always hated seeing them on a plane!)

Hope you have a good weekend. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Sorry for all the spelling mistakes in my last post lol too early! 
Have a lovely time pushchair shopping....very exciting!! 
How sweet that your hubby bought u some sick bags lol i does help if u know they are available. I feel sick this morning. Always seem to feel sick on a sat morning which is the only day i need to get up early for work. I think the worrying about feeling sick makes feeling sick worse lol.
Have a nice weekend mother to be!! 
Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hows my bump buddie doing?

Have u got your scan date yet? 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

I've seen my baby!!! I've seen it's little heart beating & it moving its arms or legs about! It even did a big jump as we watched. DH & I both cried! It was so amazing!

The way it came about wasn't quite so amazing. I was sick 9 times on Mon. When I was sick again on Tues AM I rang my midwife who said visit dr. Dr found ketones in my urine so said I was dehydrated & had to go to A&E. DH came home early from work & off we went (I was in quite a panicky state at this point! Really don't like hospitals!)

After 3 hours in A&E corridor I finally got a cubicle. 4 hours later (9pm) they admitted me to a ward & I had a drip over night & anti sickness pills. Terrible nights sleep, so noisy, light & busy in ward, plus v uncomfy with cannula in. But the gynae who said I had to stay over night said I could have a scan in the AM to check for twins. I was discharged from ward at 9am, went down to maternity & was given a vaginal scan straight away. I was so worried that they might not find anything or it might be ectopic, but straight away I saw its heart beating! I still can't believe it.

Now I feel exhausted, still a bit sick and generally a bit rubbish. But it was worth it to see my little baby! And get a pic! She said its the right size for 9 weeks.

When we got home, we found a letter giving are scan date!! It's on Easter Sat, 30th.

How are you doing? Hope youre keeping the faith about baby being in there. not long till you see yours. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Oh my god as if u have actually seen your baby!!! Thats amazing. Im jealous about that part.
Sorry u had to be in hospital though and feel so bad. U poor thing! 
And now u have your scan date u can really look forward to it!
Im still not believing it. I really want to see if something is in there. Its driving me crazy. I did another hpt yesterday and its still the strongest positive ever! Lol just counting down the days til 26th.
Have u told anyone else now u have seen baby? 
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

I'm jealous of you not being sick! I know I'm so so lucky to have seen baby, but you will get to see yours in 12 days (only 12 days!!!!) & you won't have been sick a million times! 

You do make me laugh with your HPT taking! You are becoming a POAS addict! I'm glad it's still +ve tho! I read on a thread somewhere that it gets to a saturation point, where it can't get any darker, so if you are mad enough to take another one before your scan & it's not any darker, don't panic will you? You just have to believe!

Do you talk to baby at all? When I've been feeling really sick I've been singing nursery rhymes to mine. I know it can't hear me, but it calms me down. I was very tachycardic when I went to hospital & the nurse told me I had to get my heart rate down as that was more of a risk to baby than the hyper...thingy. She left the pulse monitor on me & told me to try to get it down before she came back. I did manage to reduce it enough for her to be happy, but I think I will have to do some daily relaxation or something to keep me calm. (I'm naturally quite an anxious person)

My youngest brother left for Malaysia for 3 weeks late on Tues night. I was meant to talk to him before he went, so when I realised I was being admitted, I had to ring him from the hospital. He wanted to know why I hadn't answered all day so I said I was fine but in hospital. His first question was is it to do with being pregnant!! I couldn't really lie to that one, so I had to tell him. He was pleased, although upset I hadn't told him sooner. I then told my other brother yest, as I didn't think it was fair to just tell one. Oh, and on Mother's Day, we told DH's mum. It was a spur of the moment thing, but I'm pleased we did, as it was the best reaction yet - she cried! So sweet! (DH has never seen her cry with happiness before) How about you, have you told anyone else?

I think I'm going to have to tell my boss this afternoon. I haven't been to work this week & she will ring me this afternoon, so I think I will have to tell her what has been wrong with me. It will be a relief as I have not been at my usual standard for a few weeks, so at least she'll understand why. I'm going to ask her not to tell my colleagues though.

I'm having a lazy day today. I feel less sick than yest, but I'm still taking it easy. I'm not dressed yet! DH has been such a star- he took day off work yest & when I slept in PM he tidied whole of downstairs. Hope your DH is spoiling you too? xxx


----------



## Pansy

PS how much does your hospital charge for scan photos? Our charges £10 according to the appointment letter. Seems ridiculously expensive! (Although of course we will pay it!) we got our one yest free.


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Im sat at work now in my dance shop...not many customers today :-(

We havent told anyone else yet. Just waiting to see what the scan shows. If it is healthy then i agree i have been extremely lucky in 1st tri. I feel the closer my scan gets the more i dont believe it. Maybe its my way of preparing myself for the worst. Our scan pics are £4 each...im planning on buying 4. ( 1 for us, 1 for my mum & dhs mum & his sister) i think his sister & her children will like that as i wantto involve them. Just hope they dont mind that we waited so long to tell them...but the way i am with no believing i cant go around tell people yet lol.
Do u just have 2 brothers? So do i. They are both older than me and have children.

Thats lovely that your mil cried! She must be over the moon, i know my inlaws will be. 
So 12 days til my scan.....it cant go quick enough! 
My hpts are the darkest they could possibly get. No point taking anymore really but i do have one more at home!! Hubby bought me a double pack this time lol.
Dh is great. He has been doing lots of diy at my mums house. We want to get it finished asap. He hasnt really needed to look after me as i feel normal but he does tell me im pregnant and tries to convince me lol poor man...

Enjoy your lazy day and good luck with telling work xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

P.s post a pic of your scan if u can!!! Id love to see your baby xxx


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## Pansy

Here is my baby:

https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/7de4ebbded5f277b8e6ea1a7b7552b05.jpg

It's not exactly easy to make out is it, lol. It's head is to the left & is bigger than its body. To the right, the little lumps are the yolk sack and its legs. It is facing downwards, so it's back is at the top. I had to ask the dr again where it's head was when I left as I couldn't remember!!


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## MrsBroodyPant

Aww your baby looks cute! Its amazing. I could see its head and body straight away. Its funny that u had to ask the doc where its head was lol. 
Its great that u have this pic to remind u of what is growing! 
Does it seem strange that he/she is inside u but u cant feel him/her? Or does your ms remind u enough?

Thanks for posting it! Xxx


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## Pansy

It does seem strange. It only really hit me when I got home that what we saw on screen was actually inside me. It is odd not being able to feel it, especially when it was wriggling so much & did such a big jump! (Is it bad you can tell what it is better than I can?! I've never been very good at seeing things on scans!)

You know the Savage Garden song "I knew I loved you before I met you"? DH played that & other romantic songs to me when I was trying to force myself to eat tea when back from hospital. That song made me think of baby & made me cry loads. That's when it hit me I think.

I'm not being sick anymore, but I still feel sick & feel really shakey. I suppose it must be just exhaustion or something, hope its nothing more. 

Yes, I have 2 brothers, both younger than me. DH has one sister. We have just told her, as I've told both my brothers. She was really excited. We won't tell niece & nephews till 12 weeks at least. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Strange that we both have 2 brothers and our DH's have one sister! 

I love to listen to songs and think about my baby, but i did this anyway even before being pregnant. I feel like i have always loved my children even though i havent got any yet! Sounds strange i guess. Ive always wanted a big family about 3 or 4 children and when i was ttc and not suceeding i was feeling that dream slipping away. Thankfully if all goes well with this pregnancy then there will be no stopping me lol.
Songs by the carpenters make me think of baby and cry. Ive been looking up songs that my mum used to sing to me and i can't listen to 'two little boys' by rolf harris without crying.
It's nice that u told DH's sister. You will of told everyone soon! Do any of your friends know? apart from the one who lives away.
10 days til my scan!!!!

xxx


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## Pansy

Hello! How are you? I saw your post on the main forum & I'm really sorry to hear that not believing is making you so upset. I wish I could magically make you believe. If your mum had had really bad ms & you had none, it would be more of a worry, but you must just be genetically programmed to not get ms. You're just unlucky your bump buddy is the opposite extreme to you, that can't be helping, sorry! Women's bodies don't just stop perioding & start producing HCG for no reason, there must be something going on in there. In 9 days you will see your little baby on the scan & it will be the most amazing thing ever!

I was sick again this am :-(. I took my pill almost 2 hours before I got up, cos I overslept, so I think maybe that's what did it. It was only a little bit, I'm hoping that's it & the pills haven't stopped working. I drank loads yest, more than I have for weeks, as the nausea was under control. I still feel shaky & completely exhausted, too tired to move about house even. I hope this is normal.

What are you up to today? Another quiet day here I think. Apparently we had snow this morning, but it had all melted by the time I got up. I think we might visit MIL, but otherwise rest.

Are you going to do the NCT antenatal class? When I had my booking in appt, a new um recommended them to me & said book early. I contacted the local organiser & the course we would do in Aug for Oct babies already has one couple booked on it! It is expensive (£165) & I don't really know much about it, but I really want to do a course where I can meet other mums. Do you know anything about NCT courses? xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Thanks for the kind words. I really really wish i believed it but i cant stop thinking it wont be true. At least i will know soon enough. Bring on the 26th!!
Today my children at dancing had their tap exams. All passed! Its been a long tiring day. Glad i dont have ms as i wouldnt of been able to get through today if i felt bad. I feel very sorry for u. I bet u will start feeling better soon...almost made it to 2nd tri.
Ive never heard of those classes before. If they cost that much then i wont be doing them lol id do free classes tho. 
I hope u have been having a nice day....even tho the weather is miserable xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Thanks for the kind words. I really really wish i believed it but i cant stop thinking it wont be true. At least i will know soon enough. Bring on the 26th!!
Today my children at dancing had their tap exams. All passed! Its been a long tiring day. Glad i dont have ms as i wouldnt of been able to get through today if i felt bad. I feel very sorry for u. I bet u will start feeling better soon...almost made it to 2nd tri.
Ive never heard of those classes before. If they cost that much then i wont be doing them lol id do free classes tho. 
I hope u have been having a nice day....even tho the weather is miserable xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

One week to my scan xxxx


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## Pansy

I was just thinking its only a week to go! How exciting for you! Not long at all!

That's good that all the class passed the tap exam. Do you have to have an external examiner in or do you mark it yourself? I was never good enough to take an exam in tap! (Or maybe I gave up to soon!!)

I had a rubbish day yesterday with the ms. I couldn't keep liquid down in the AM again & got scared I would have to go back to hospital. I rang the dr straight away & they changed my anti sickness pills. I spent the day sitting v still & trying not to puke a 6th time! I feel better than yesterday today & haven't been sick, so I'm really hoping these pills keep working.

Do you have a busy week to make the next 7 days pass quicker? What time is your appt? xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Its an external examiner who comes to mark the exams. Got more in June.
Very sorry about how sick u feel. It must be terrible for u. Have u been off work? Do work know about the baby now?
My app is 1.20pm so this time next week i will know! 

Got a normal week really. Im working extra hours on saturday as the children are performing in a cabaret. Hopefully that will help pass the time!! 
Xxx


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## Pansy

I told my boss about the baby last week. I had to, having had the whole week off. She is being understanding & letting me be more flexible with my hours, although hasn't eased up with the amount of work she is piling on me. I went in for a couple of hours yest & said i might today, but I think I'll probably rest instead. There are only 3 employees plus my boss & 2 of us have been in hospital in last week & other one had a day off booked, so my boss was panicking quite a bit!

How cute that the kids are doing a cabaret. Will that be in the evening? That should distract you a bit. Could you plan a nice day out with DH on Sun to make that go quickly? Does he have the whole of Tues off or just the PM?

Do you think you'll buy a Doppler (?) when we can hear baby's heart beat? I have read that they cause more trouble than they are worth, cos they send you into a panic when you can't find anything. But it would be tempting to be able to check on baby whenever you want. Have you got your appointment date for the 16 week midwife appt? That's when we hear the HB isn't it?

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Glad u have told your boss. That should be a bit of a weight off your mind.
The cabaret is on the afternoon/early evening. Im looking forward to that. We are meeting our friends on sunday for a big dog walk so that should be nice too.
I havent booked my 16 week appt yet....i will if all goes well with the scan. I dont think i will buy a doppler coz of the reasons u gave but i might do...again i will see what happens on 26th.

I got a call from my FS yesterday coz i was booked in for lap & dye surgery in may. She said i have seen on your records that u are pregnant, is this correct? So i explained about how i dont believe it! Lol she asked if she should cancel the surgery & i said if the scan is all good then i will ring & cancel it, but i want to keep the appointment for now. I think she understood lol. 

Hubby is off now for 2 weeks. We have booked a weekend away to a nice hotel for the easter weekend. I think if the scan doesnt go well then we can get away. 
Have u got your 16 week appt booked? Not long til your next scan either  xxx


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## Pansy

Hello! How are things today? There's a nice symmetry to your wait now, just a weekday, 2 weekend days then a weekday & you're there! Hardly anytime at all! I'm glad your DH is there to look after you in the run up. Going away for Easter (to celebrate!) sounds lovely. Are you going far? When I've got rid of this blasted ms I might book a weekend for DH, it sounds like such a nice idea. He really deserves a treat, he has basically been my slave for the past week, poor boy!

The dog walk sounds lovely too. I know it's so horrible for you having all this worry, but when you find out everything is fine on Tues, think how lucky you are that you don't have symptoms & can still get out & about.

I saw my chiropractor yest (had sciatica all last year) & she really annoyed me. She said I shouldn't be taking pills, I should just drink a glass of warm salt water in the morning & stick my fingers down my throat to make myself sick each morning! That will cure ms! Stupid woman! The idea is to not be sick, not make myself sick! She hasn't had kids herself. I don't think I'll go back to her, I've lost all respect for her now!

Did you see pictures of Kate Middleton being given a badge like mine? I copied her with the hyper thingy & now she is copying me with my badge!!

Hope you are keeping as calm as poss. xxx


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## Pansy

Ps I'm not convinced I like my baby being compared to a prune!!


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## Pansy

Pps. Midwife booked my 16 week appt at booking in appt. I hope it's written down somewhere, I have no idea when it is!


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello, 

U made me laugh twice then, about the badge & the prune.
I forgot about your badge lol & i havent seen kate get one but im sure she is copying off u!! Also, i felt the same way about the prune ha ha!!!

4 more sleeps til my scan & one week to yours!! Its good when u can count down the final week days as your last wed, last thurs etc... If all goes well on tues then i am so grateful & thankful that i have had an easy time so far. I know i will appreciate that if all is well. Im worried but i need to find out either way.

I wouldnt take that advice either. Drinking salt water would be horrible & surely being sick is what u need to avoid. The baby needs your food. And i dont think it would stop u from feeling sick all day, it might help for an hour or so. Im hoping your sickness passes asap & u can*start enjoying pregnancy. 
Booking a weekend away would be lovely when u feel like it.

We are going to Preston to a lovely hotel. We will prob just relax in our room and go for a swin & nice meals etc... Im looking forward to it but cant think passed the scan at the min.

Hope u have a nice day xxx


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## Pansy

3 sleeps til your scan. That's hardly any time at all! Are you worried or do you feel at least you'll know one way or another? I really hope you are able to believe when you see your baby. I don't know when we're meant to start feeling them, it can't be long can it? Hopefully that will make it more real for you. 

A week today & I'll be off for scan! Even though I saw baby last week, I'm still a bit nervous about everything still being alright. I guess that's how it always is. At least this time it will be a more dignified external scan!

Do you have snow? Nothing here, we're lucky. 

My friend went to uni in Preston but I've never been. Is it nice? I've not been to the north of England much. I really want to go to Manchester, just to see what is like & cos everyone will have a different accent to me (I don't really have a regional accent. DH's family have quite strong Somerset accents, which amuses me sometimes!) DH really doesn't want to go to Manchester for some reason, so we haven't got there yet. We tend to go to Cornwall or the Cotswolds for time away, or over to my friend in Sussex.

Hope your Cabaret goes well. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Cabaret went well thanks. Tired now! 

Ive never been to preston before either lol. But we got married at Gisborough Hall which is a Mcdonald Hotel so we are gradually working our way around all those hotels in the uk, so thats the only reason we are going there. Manchester is good for shopping! We usually go to Scotland or the lakes, devon etc for uk hols. Down south is really nice. 
We are lucky too & dont have any snow......yet...i think it is on its way though. 
Im nervous for my scan but need to know either way. Not knowing is worse than dealing with the truth. If there is a baby there then i will definately believe it! I just need to see with my own eyes. I really cant imagine me having a scan picture of my own!! If alls well then i will try to relax & enjoy the journey. I hope sooo much that i have a baby with a heartbeat! That would be amazing & a dream come true!

Your a lime now.....much better than a prune 

This time next week we will of both had our scans.
Xxxxxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning! Another day closer....2 more sleeps xxx


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## Pansy

Wow you're 12 weeks! Does that mean your 2nd trimester or is it at the end of the 12 weeks? Are plums bigger than limes?? Plums I've seen have usually been tiny'

Scotland is another place I want to go. I spent 2 weeks there on a field trip once, and would love to go again. Another of my closest friends lives in Glasgow & we keep meaning to visit her, but have just never got round to it. We've got a week off in June & might go to the Lakes then (again never been). I'd like to go abroad, (although not by plane as I find that scary & don't want to let baby feel my fear) but I don't know if I'll feel like it in June. After experiencing hospital here, I don't know that I'd want to risk having to go to a hospital abroad. We've been to France a lot more than we've been to the north of UK, so maybe we should just stick to the uk this time. Where have you been in Devon?

We've got an un identified smell coming from our kitchen sink which is driving me insane! I'm hyper sensitive to smells anyway, but this is horrible! It's been there fir a few weeks, but isn't there all the time. We've taken unbend apart & there's nothing there. Yesterday I was so fed up with it I was saying we'd have to move house to escape it! I really hope DH can solve it today!

Hope you enjoy your dog walk. Wrap up warm! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Still no snow today & the sun is out at the moment! Should be a nice day for a walk.

2nd tri is at the end of 12 weeks, so from 13 weeks, but i think i will get put back a bit when i have my scan. I know i ovulated later than cd14. I will probably get put back to the same as u! 
Plums ive seen are smaller than limes too! 

I cant remember where i was in devon but we travelled around a few beaches & towns. The dog loved it! We hired a cottage for a week with friends.
We went to gran canaria last november for 2 weeks, so not long ago. I wont go abroad whilst pregnant but plan on going somewhere next year, hopefully with our LO 

I hope u get your sink sorted. Funny that u want to move because of it, thats the kind of thing id say! 

Xxxx


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## Pansy

Woohoo! Tomorrow!!! So close!

Were you monitoring ovulation the month you conceived? I'm pretty sure I ovulated on cd14 as it was 2nd month I was temping. My cycles were short (24) but it was the luteual phase that was short. So does that mean my date should be fairly accurate? I thought it might change cos my cycles are short, but using ovulation date makes sense. (I have a degree in Biology, you wouldn't believe it sometimes would you?! I even wrote a 3000 word essay on menstruation - it obviously sunk in!!)

That would be cool if you were due same date as me! Not that due dates mean a lot really do they?

Our sink is less stinky today, but it goes through phases. We bought a load of expensive cleaning products yesterday to throw down it, hopefully one of them will help (I convinced DH it was slightly cheaper to buy them than move!)

We were meant to be assembling a million ikea shelving units for MIL yesterday but she warned me she had a cold so I stayed away. My brother & his girlfriend popped in unexpectedly instead so that was really nice. He looked at scan & said its not quite got its looks yet has it?! Cheeky! Did you enjoy your walk?

My cousin is coming over today & we are going to visit my grandma who is in a home with dementia. I get nervous going out at the moment cos I'm worried I'll be sick (I've started being sick on waking again, despite pills) or I won't be able to get pills/food at the right time. But I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm going to tell her (yes there is at least one person I still haven't told!!) so that she can understand why I don't want to eat in a cafe & why I may react badly to strong smells. (I have only told close people & work really, I can't wait til Sat when (hopefully) I can tell the whole world!)

What are you up to today? xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Sounds like u have been busy! I hope the cleaning products work for your sink 

I got up at 6am today to go babysit my 4 month old nephew. He was good as gold & i enjoyed every minute. Back home now. I go collect my neice from school later then we go to dancing where i teach til 8pm so today is passes quite quick, although i long day from 6am!

Cant believe my scan is TOMORROW!! 
I hope it goes well. If not then i will miss u as my bump buddie and this could be my last day reading the pregnancu forums. I know i dont sound very positive. I just dont know what to expect & what the outcome will be! 
I will tell u straight away!!

Our walk was lovely yesterday but freezing! Then we went for a gorgeous sunday dinner. 

Its snowing here today. I cant wait for the weather to brighten up! 

Hope u are coping ok with your ms

Xxxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

P.s
Yes i was tracking ovulation although i did sleep out one night so missed one temp. Think i ovulated either cd17 or cd19 depending on that missing temp. So im expecting my due date to be later but as u said, its just a guide. 
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Oh no, don't say that, you will be back on tomorrow, everything will be fine. I would miss you too. My mum even asks how's Janine getting on, cos I keep mentioning you! I will be anxiously awaiting an update & hopefully a picture of your LO.

Glad your day is so busy, kids are great for taking your mind off things. My grandma was asleep most of the time, but it was nice to see my cousin. She was really excited & says she feels like she's going to be an aunt! 

I bought a picture frame for my scan & it arrived today. Now the 1st scan in on the mantelpiece, proudly displayed. We'll hopefully change it to our new one on Sat. I hope you have one to display tomorrow. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thats lovely that u have a new picture frame for your scan! 

As if my scan is TODAY! 

I slept quite well considering. Its the strangest feeling. Im nervous like its my wedding day or something. Its certainly a big event.

I will let u know the outcome asap and then probably tell u in more detail later. My scan is at 1.20pm.

Xxxxx


----------



## Pansy

I can't believe it's today either! Im glad you slept well. I hope you're able to keep calm this morning. I wonder if baby will do a big wave or a big jump while you're watching, just to go believe I'm here mum! 

Funny that you mentioned your wedding, after my scan I felt like it was a more magical moment than my wedding day. I didn't think anything would ever be as joyous as my wedding day, but those few moments of seeing the baby felt amazing. I really hope that's how it is for you today.

Good luck, keep as calm as possible & remember to fill your bladder! I'll be thinking of you! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank you very much xxxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

The time is going sooo slow!

Ive put the slow cooker on for a nice dinner later. Im all ready to go! Just got to wait a couple of hours before setting off 
Xxx


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## Pansy

Time is going so slowly here now, waiting to hear your results! At 1:20 I was driving & Phil Collins "I can feel it in the air tonight" came on the radio. The line "I've been waiting for this moment for all my life" made me cry thinking about what you were hopefully seeing. (I'm crying again now writing it - I wasn't quite this emotional before, honestly!!)

Really hope you've had some good news by now... xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

GOOD NEWS

I BELIEVE IT NOW 

A healthy baby! It waved at us and we saw the heartbeat. but it was curled up all cosy so they could date it properly or see to do the downs check. I have another scan booked for next wed! Cant wait to go again!!
She thinks im about 11 weeks ish, which is what i thought as i ovulated late.

So so happy!!! Im so lucky.

Xxx


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## Pansy

Yay!!!!!!!!!

I'm so happy for you! And you get a scan next week as well! How cool is that?! V cute that it waved at you.

Yay!!!!!!! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u!

That was the quickest reply in the history of our conversations lol.

Going to tell the inlaws now.
I cant stop smiling 

Xxx


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## Pansy

I have been checking this thread every few minutes all afternoon! I really wanted to hear your good news! I'm so pleased we can still be bump buddies. Hope you enjoy telling the in laws! How exciting! xxx


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## Pansy

Did you get some good pics? Did you buy all 4 this time or will you wait till next week? (You wait for weeks for a scan & then 2 come along at once!!) When you have time, let me know how the whole thing went. Did you have a long wait? What was your reaction when you saw your LO? Do you feel as joyous as on your wedding day?

I'm so excited for you! I'm counting down the days til Sat now! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello bump buddie!

Very very happy. What an amazing day!
On the way to the scan i was sipping a bottle of water as i didnt want to be desprate for the toilet whilst being scanned. We were early so sat in the car park for 10 mins then went in and we only had to wait for about 10 mins before my name got called. I went in & the lady asked if it was my first scan & i said yes & that i have no symptoms so been finding it hard to believe lol. DH said as soon as she started the scan he saw the baby straight away but i asked 'is there anything there?' & she moved the screen for me to see & showed me the heartbeat & i started crying. She told me to go empty bladder as it was too full. I came back & the baby was curled up so she got me to rock about & jump around but it wouldnt stretch out. We went for a 20min walk & mars bar as she said sugar might wake it up! But when we returned it was still curled. I asked if it was ok & didnt have a hunch back lol. She said its just cosy but could measure properly for due date or downs. She spent ages trying so we saw the baby for a long time which was great! The baby waved at us. We got a nice pic but the lady said we would probably get a better one next week. We still bought 4 though as we wanted to tell family. I can believe it now i see the pic!!

Afterwards we went to see my mum who was working in my shop. She is very happy & loves the pic.
We went home & printed off a copy of the inlaws family tree (they have been doing lots of research on it) and added our baby to it!! We took it to the inlaws & they were so pleased. I started crying & they were hugging me! Then DH sister came & we told her & her children. Our neice said 'is the baby here now?' lol funny as!!! Then her husband came in & we told him too!!

We then went to visit my brother & i got to bath my nephew! My brother & his wife were very excited! Our children will be close in age. He said he knew i was pregnant because when all my nieces & nephews were playing twister i wouldnt join in & thats not like me!!! I next rang my other brother as he lives too far away to go tonight & he said he knew because i wouldnt play twister lol.....of all things! Lol

So now its your scan next & then mine again. We love getting scans we do 

Thank u for all your positive thoughts. You have helped me through all those weeks. And now i finally have proof im looking forward to the rest of this crazy journey with you 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Aww, your story made me cry again! That moment when you first see it is soooooo amazing. Did you spot the heartbeat straight away? It was such a relief to see that. Did DH cry? Mine was definitely tearful, although he denies it now, but I saw! I couldn't stop smiling after either. The dr said something to me & then said but you don't care at the moment do you?! I still can't remember what she said, I hope it was nothing important!

So, how much do I need to fill my bladder? Parking is a complete nightmare at our hospital, so DH wants to get a bus from the town centre, but I'm not convinced that wont make me feel sick, especially if I have a full bladder. So were you completely desperate to pee before or you'd just drunk a comfortable amount? I really don't get this bladder filling thing.

Are you going to buy anything now, or are you not really past 12 weeks? As its 12 weeks on Sat, if our scan goes well, we're going to buy something little. I've banned my MIL & SIL from buying anything til 12 weeks, but I think as soon as we pass Sat they will buy something & I want to be the first person to buy something for my baby!

When are you off to Preston? That'll be so lovely having a weekend of just the 3 of you to get used to it all again. My DH wants to take a photo of the 3 of us plus scan on Sat, if all goes well, which I thought was sweet. 

How funny that it was twister that gave you away! Are you going to tell your friends now or wait a bit longer? 

Upload your scan pic if you can, I'd love to see it.

No more talk of leaving the boards, we're in this together til October! (And then we can be baby buddies!)

Hope you're still smiling today. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Good morning!

I woke up at 6am today, still smiling and i looked at the scan straight away. Its a lovely idea to take a picture of u both with the scan pic. I think i will copy that idea and have our dog in the picture too!
We are going to tell our close friends today and then it doesnt really matter who finds out after that. I want to tell the world 
I saw the heartbeat straight away but DH didnt and the lady had to point it out to him. He didnt cry. I asked him afterwards if he felt like crying but he said he didnt, he felt relieved. 
I might buy a little something now, like vests or a baby grow. We go away on friday and there is a mothercare in preston so we are going there! I wont buy big things until after 20 weeks. MIL said she would like to buy the pram, so thats brilliant!

When we were ttc and seeing a fertility specialist i had a scan to check my ovaries. My bladder was so full, i thought i would pee myself! And i had to wait for ages to be seen, it was torture! Thats why yesterday i didnt drink loads and just sipped a bottle of water. My bladder was full but it felt ok, i wasnt dying for the toilet like last time. But i got asked to empty my bladder so next scan i will just sip water again and see what happens.

3 days to your scan! What time is your scan?
Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Another day closer to your scsn!! 
How u feeling? Xxx


----------



## Pansy

I had a rubbish day yest, ms wise, but bit better today so far. I'm extra tired (& apparently grumpy!) today. I got a new sickness pills prescription using my maternity card, & cried that I have something that says maternity!! (I was back in car, not in pharmacist, you'll be relived to know!) 

I'm feeling 50% excited & 50% anxious about Sat. I will be so happy if everything is ok, especially as its 12 weeks so we can tell everyone. If they put my due date back, does that mean I'm not allowed to buy anything as its not 12 weeks? I can't imagine they will, but you never know, ESP as I'll be 12 weeks exactly. 

How are you? Still smiling? How did telling your friends go? Have you managed to upload your scan pic? 

Hope you have a lovely weekend away! xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Sorry ms is still bad for u.

I feel the same about my next scan. It is still a worry because now we have told people. Our friends are very happy and excited! I keep wanting to tell more and more people! But im going to wait until after my next scan now & then i will hopefully know how far along i am and i can update my ticker.
I will try to post my scan pic tonight. Im just starting work now.
I dont think your dd will get put back but if it does & u see a healthy baby then id just tell everyone anyway.

Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Its your scan TOMORROW! Xxx


----------



## Pansy

I know! I can't believe it! I'm feeling even more nervous now. Do they ask you any questions? Am i meant to know anything? Is it just a sonographer, rather than a doctor? Do you have any tips? I'd love more than one photo, but don't think I should at £10 each. Better to spend the extra £10 on baby.

I've been feeling odd things in my abdomen these past few days. Kind of mix between stretchy pain day after you've done sit ups & stomache ache, but not like I've experienced before. I hope it's just growing/moving pains & not something wrong. It's not getting any worse, so I think it's ok.

Did you watch the Big Reunion shows? I'm just watching the last one now (it's passed my bedtime nowadays when it's live) It's all taking me back to my youth!! If I wasn't pregnant I think I'd want to go to one of the concerts. 

Hope you have a relaxing, bonding weekend away. Will you have Internet? I'll tell you about my scan anyway, so you can read it when you can. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

I still havent put my scan pic on but i will when i get chance.
Im just about to do an Easter party at work before we go away & relax! I will have internet. What time is your scan?
Its just a sonographer who did mine & only asked me how far along i thought i was. My tip would be to enjoy it!!! And buy the pics if u want, but yours are rather expensive.
Ive been feeling a few twinges & my mum thinks its just stretching etc..try not to worry unless it is painful.
I havent watched the big reunion but heard it is good! I love all types of music. Its amazing how it can remind u of something or someone or take u back to a certain time.

After your scan, what are your Easter weekend plans?
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

My scan's at 14:50 - the day is going to go so slowly waiting for it! It's about the time now, & today has lasted forever!

Straight after, if all goes well, we'll pop into Bath to buy something for baby. Then on Easter Sun we're going to my parents for lunch & visiting DH's sister & family in afternoon (we were invited for tea but I can't cope with eating & travelling with in eve). DH works bank hols so no plans for Mon. Actually, there a Daffodil Fayre at nearby village, so we might go to that when he comes home at 3.

Hope your party was fun! xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

When my scan was at 1pm the morning was long. This next scan is 10.30am so a little easier.
The party went well...egg hunts & bingo & egg&spoon races with 30 children! Im tired now lol
I know your scan will be totally fine but i understand the worry. 
Im just having fish & chips now before setting off.
I hope your evening goes quickly.
Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant




----------



## MrsBroodyPant

There is my little baby all curled up with chin on its chest. You can really see its face quite well and it looks like its got a french mushtash lol. 
I LOVE it xxx


----------



## Pansy

Aww, sooooo cute! Your LO does look v cosy in there, must've been fast asleep or just far too comfy! I can't believe how much more detail you can see now they are 11/12 weeks, compared to my 9 week one. I really hope I get a beautiful pic like that tomorrow too (although maybe uncurled!)

I'm so jealous of you eating fish & chips - I used to love that! My evening should go quickly, I'll be asleep shortly after 9! Then I've just got to get through most of tomorrow!

Have a lovely weekend! xxxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Its TODAY!

Try to keep busy to pass the time quicker! I know everything will be fine, but good luck anyway. Please let me know as soon as u can afterwards.
I will be thinking about u!!!

Im excited for u  xxx


----------



## Pansy

Thank you 

Time is going sooooo slowly! We are leaving at 1:15, so not long now. I think this has been the longest morning ever! I didn't sleep well, not cos I was thinking about the scan, just cos I kept waking up, so i feel like I've been waiting since 3am. I listened to "I knew I loved you before I met you" & it made me cry again. I really hope everything is alright. I keep telling myself I've had no bleeding, no change in symptoms since last scan, it should be fine, but I worry still.

How's your hotel? Hope you're having fun. xxx


----------



## Pansy

All ok & beautiful! Will post more later. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Brilliant  xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Im soo happy for u!
Cant wait to hear all about it!

Our hotel is lovely & the bed is very big & comfy.
We went to mothercare this morning & DH got really into it looking at prams & cots. We have been for a walk along blackpool front & the sun came out, it was quite nice actually. We plan on going to mamas & papas tomorrow as that is nearby too and then head to The Lakes for sunday lunch.
Update me when u get chance 
 xxx


----------



## Pansy

He or she is so beautiful! I can't believe how different the pic is from my last one. We got 6 different pics for our £10, so it didn't seem so expensive. I can't decide which is my favourite to put in my frame.

When they measured him, they found he was 6.5cm, so my due date has been moved by 6 days - I'm now due 6th Oct & will be 13 weeks tmr! I'm pretty sure my dates are right, so I think my baby must be big! But that's the date they use from now on, so less time to wait for my 20 week scan!

It was all very quick, we were out within 30 mins & hada bold test too. My other blood test results were fine & I'm rhesus +ve (or whatever the ok one is), so it's all good. Baby took a few mins to get in the right position, but he was stretched out & very wriggly throughout! I will see if I can upload a pic in a min.

We bought him a present afterwards - a Miffy comforter & some little yellow booties. So cute!

Glad your having such a good time & enjoying the baby shops! (Will M&Ps be open on Easter Sun?)
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/0bc5eb52bfe55444b883c1e5edd1d939.jpg


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## MrsBroodyPant

Oh my, your baby is amazing! And u got your dd moved forward, thats very exciting! Im glad all is fine and he/she is growing really well . 

Im getting worried about my scan now. I hope my baby can stretch out. 

We only realised last night that the shops will be shut lol. We should of gone yesterday. Never mind lol. 

Im so pleased for u! And your a peach! Cant wait to update my ticker. Think will are swapping dates with each other ha ha! 
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello! Happy Easter! 

Thank you. I keep staring at the photo! It's such a relief to see it! I can't believe I'm now meant to be 13 weeks! 

Don't worry about your scan. Baby has a heart beat & is moving, if they can't get him to lie in the right position, it won't matter that much. Surely they can just estimate until ur next scan? And as for the nuchal thingy, they'll still be able to do the blood test won't they? And you're young, it's not like you're high risk, and would you even do anything if you found out you were at risk? I was thinking as I had it done yest, it is fairly pointless as its not like I would do the invasive test anyway (well, I don't think I would). It will all be fine. As long as baby is still there, nothing else matters. (But I'm sure he'll be more compliant this time)

It would be funny if your due date moved to the 12th! 

Hope you enjoy your lunch out! I'm telling my nephews & niece & my aunt & uncle today. I might use my badge to tell my nephews. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

I lost internet access yesterday so had to wait until we got home to read your last message.
Home now and going to spend today relaxing (and some house work).
I probably will get my dd changed to the 12th lol.

Ive been thinking the same about the downs test and im so attached to this baby. I made the choice to have the first tests when i was only 6 weeks. Hopefully both of ours will come back low risk anyway.
2 more sleeps until my scan!
All we seem to be doing lately is counting down to scans lol.

Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Happy Easter!!! Xxx


----------



## Pansy

After this scan it will be another 8 weeks till either of us have a scan, what will we count down to?! I keep forgetting I'm "13" weeks now, so it will only be 7 weeks till mine, actually. 4 weeks til hearing the heartbeat at midwife appt, that'll be the next milestone. Mines Monday 27/29 April. 

Telling my 4 year old niece was an experience yesterday! Her first question was "how will baby get out?" DH said Catherine got a special hole, dont ask to see it! And I quickly moved on!! She then said "how did baby get in there?" I did the whole when grown ups want a baby they have a special cuddle speech. (Before I'd asked my SIL what I should say & she said its up to you - she left it to me to explain to my nephews when she was pregnant with my niece!). She was very interested in the scan pic & wanted a copy for herself! She then put it in a teddy bear that has a frame. Apparently she took it to bed with her & wouldn't stop looking at it! She would only go to sleep when her mum promised that they could go & buy baby some clothes today! She likes playing drs & we had to play that she was teaching me what I needed to look after a baby & how to dress her doll. She also "scanned" me! When I left she kissed my tummy cos she wanted to kiss baby bye bye! It was all v cute! I didn't expect quite such an extreme reaction! I hope she doesn't mind waiting til Oct for the baby. Baby has already been invited to her birthday party May 2014!

The boys didnt really care that I was pregnant! Not really surprising!

I'm having a relaxing day today too. I started knitting a v basic patchwork blanket when I was first TTC. I've left it for a year, but now I've started trying to finish it. I didn't really know how to knit, so it's nt going to be anything special, but hopefully baby won't mind!

Have a good day! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Aww your niece story is very cute! 
One of my nieces just randomly kissed my tummy last night. We went to the inlaws to take the childrens easter gifts. They are all so excited. My niece has told everyone in her school. Mu nephew who is 11 is excited to and hopes its a boy!
I havent been able to see my other niece & nephew as they have chicken pox so are keeping away lol.
Thats nice that u are knitting. DH sister is going to knit a cardigan and a lady in their street is making a blanket! I love it when people do thoughtful things that cost time rather than money. So sweet!
Have a lovely Easter Monday 
Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning! How are you today? Apart from the usual sickness, all is good here. Still spending far too long staring at scan pictures! How exciting that you get to see your LO again tomorrow!

That's lovely that people are making things for you. My aunt has promised to teach me how to crochet, as I really want to make some cute booties I've seen. I am hoping she might decide to knit me something herself too!!

I told you I didn't want to find out baby's sex didn't I? I am still not going to, but I really really want to! Do you know anything about nub theory? I have been reading loads about it and studying my scan pictures!! Naughty Catherine!! But DH says I'm allowed, as its not really accurate or conclusive. I'm not even sure I can see a nub, it might be a leg!! I put my scan on a guessing website & so far I've had 1 boy guess & 2 girl guesses, so who knows? I really want to find out, I'm so impatient! I'm sure I don't really want to know though, And when it comes to the 20 week scan, we won't find out. I must just learn to be patient & look forward to the surprise!

Are you working today or do you have an Easter holiday? My office is shut today so I have a day off! I might do some cleaning or maybe go & tell my neighbour our news! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello!

Im fine thanks! Glad u are ok and coping with the ms. 
I feel the same about finding out the sex. I said to DH last night that i cant wait to see if we have a boy or a girl but o dont think we will find out either.
When we were in The Lakes there was lots of lovely peter rabbit shops with the most beautiful baby clothes. They were mostly pink or blue so if i knew the sex i would of probably spent too much money! Not knowing the sex will keep wanting to buy everything under control 
I dont know anything about nub theroy but ive seen people guessing the sex in first tri forum and its always a mixture lol.
Ive been looking at nursey bedding and quite like peter rabbit as a theme but its mostly blue and suits a little boy better. Also the inlaws have found the pram i like on offer and want to order it but i think its too early! Also i havent fully made my mind up yet lol they must be excited!! I just hope everything is ok tomorrow at the scan as i dont want to let everyone down. Cant wait to see my baby again and hopefully get a due date 
Have a nice day bump buddie xxx


----------



## Pansy

Isn't it amazing how much we agree on? I think we're in the minority, not finding out the gender. I know have 3 girl guesses & 1 boy, lol, but definitely won't be going out & buying anything pink yet! 

Peter Rabbit is v cute - my brother had a toy when he was little, which was v cute. If you had Beatrix Potter in general, it could be gender neutral as you could have all the characters. I don't know what theme we're going to go for, especially with not knowing gender. If I'm using a crib in my bedroom & then moving to a cot in baby's room, maybe I don't need to decide till after its born? But then I suppose you don't have time to decorate when you have a baby do you?

Which pram do you like? I wouldn't like to buy anything big like that yet, too. At the moment our favourite is the Uppababy travel system, but we keep changing our minds. My SIL still has her cot so that's one less expense. 

Hardly any time at all till your scan. If you feel the same as when you saw baby last week, nothing can have changed surely? I'm excited to see your new pics, I bet baby will have changed a bit. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

My last scan was only last week and i feel worried already. How will i wait until 20 week scan lol. 
Thats a good idea about buying the cot bedding afterwards as mine will be in a moses basket first. But i would prefer to have it all ready and be organised but i suppose there is no rush. I want to buy the perfect cot set!
The pram i like is Silver Cross linear freeway in oxford grey. There is a matching car seat that can be attached too.

Im soo excited about being pregnant! Sometimes it just hits me and a rush of happiness washes over me! I cant believe im finally pregnant! I never want to take this for granted.
And its so nice to share the journey with u! 

Tomorrow after my scan i am going out to meet some old work friends who i worked in a primary school with. I was a teaching assistant and dance teacher there before i became fully self employed. They dont know im pregnant! Then tomorrow evening my friend and her bf are coming round for takeaway and we are telling them too. I hope the scan goes well, otherwise im changing my plans. 

Are u showing much yet? I still have a bump of bloat after ive eaten but on a morning im flat again! I really want a bump  really looking forward to that
Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Ive just found a yellow blanket i started to crochet in 2005! I didnt make it for any reason. I used to teach these old ladies exercise class and they would come early and crochet before the lesson and taught me how to do it! Its about the size of a hand towel but i want to make it bigger but i have forgotten how to crochet and cant find the hook thing either lol. Im glad its yellow though! Im going to learn how to do it again so i can finish it!!!!
Im excited now  xxx


----------



## Pansy

That's really exciting about your blanket. If you find any good tutorial videos or websites will you share them with me please? Just in case my aunt doesn't get round to teaching me. 

I used to volunteer as a teaching assistant. I was considering becoming a teacher & wanted experience. I loved it, but decided teaching was too stressful for me. And training didnt fit in with starting a family. You'll have a really exciting day of telling people tomorrow when your scan goes well!

Im hoping to be able to tell my friend from Glasgow tonight. I spoke to her when I was 7 weeks & she told me about her friend who was 7 weeks then, so I felt really bad that I couldn't tell her my news. Her friend was having a 2nd child, maybe you feel more secure then? It will be great to tell her now.

My gender guesses have swung the other way now, 5 boys & 3 girls! Lol

I told my neighbour my news this morning so I expect it will be all round the village by now! She's 64 & is known for being friendly with everyone, and therefore a bit of a gossip. Se was very excited for me, which was sweet. 

Good luck for tomorrow! Can't wait to hear your new due date & see the pic! The 20 week scan seems a long way away! And then we don't get to see them again til they are born, how will we cope!!

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

I like your new booties pic! Very cute!

We are both enjoying telling people. It will be strange when everyone knows! Hubby went back to work yesterday and told loads of colleagues. 
I guess when we can feel the baby move inside then we wont feel like we need the scans to see it anymore. 
Where are your gender guesses? On B&B?

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

How did you sleep? Are you leaving soon? So good you don't have to wait so long this time. 

The pic is of the booties I bought on Sat - baby's first clothing!

When everyone I know knows, I'm just going to start telling random strangers! It's v fun telling people!

My gender guesses are on in-gender.com. I found it while researching the nub theory. It's an annoying website in that it only works half the time, but some of the people on it claim to be knowledgeable. It's 6-4 to boys now, although the people who have posted the most of website say girl.

Hope all goes well today. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning!

TODAY!! Yipeeee!
Im tired this morning, i was awake a lot in the night. Just couldnt sleep.
We will set off at about 9.45am. We need to take two cars this time as DH will be going straight to work after and i am meeting friends. 

I will have a look at the gender website when i get chance.

Feeling nervous now. I will update as soon as i can.
FX baby is still ok.

Have a nice day. It looks sunny here  xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Had my scan but it didnt go well. The baby has a defect in its brain and it might be disabled. We have to go back for another scan next thurs to see if anything has changed and see what our options are. 

On the scan the babys body is perfect and it was moving around loads! I loved seeing it but then we got taken into another room and told the bad news. It doesnt look hopeful at all. The doc was saying im very sorry.
Ive cancelled all my plans for today and just crying at my mams house. Hubby has had to go to work. 
Im 11+2 and due date is 21st october. It has grown since last week and everything else was good. 
I feel so sad for the baby. 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Oh no. I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. I want to give you a big hug. I'm glad you've got your mum to look after you. 

Does the fact that it was moving & has grown give any hope? Was there any chance it might improve by next Thursday? I'm so sorry for you, your hubby & the baby. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

It might improve by next thurs but the doc didnt seem hopeful. Im going to hope and pray and wish for the best but also keep my mind in reality.

Everything else with the baby is perfect so its such a shame.

I will know more on thurs and then we can go from there.

Im so sad but people have gone through worse than this so i will be ok and hubby is amazing. He was asking the doc lots of question which was great as i couldnt really get any words out.

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

I will be hoping & praying & wishing for you too. 

You poor thing having to count down to a scan yet again. Do you having anything you can do to keep your stress levels down, like yoga or something? It will be really important to keep as calm as possible, that's what nurse told me when I was in hospital. 

I've been trying to google things for you, but haven't found anything at all. You do read on the forums about people who are told bad things at one scan & then it's ok at the next, maybe there's a chance that will happen? (Sorry, I don't want to give you false hope, but I don't want there to be no hope.)

You will get through it, whatever happens. I will keep you company while you wait. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u.

I hope this next week passes by quickly. I just need to know now. I have been googling too.
The brain shows a black circle that looks like a cyst of fluid. The doc said it could go away but he doesnt think it will. Its likely to be an Archnoid Cyst or Dandy-Walker Malformation.

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

How are you this morning? Did you sleep? Do you have things to do today to keep you occupied?

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi.

Ive got such a banging headache from crying all day yesterday. I slept ok on and off. Ive started googling again as soon as i woke up. Dont know what to think. 
Ive got work this afternoon but feel like cancelling my classes. Its Easter hols anyway but i dont know what to do.

I hope u are ok. I dont want to bring u down.
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

I hope your head is feeling better now. What have you found from googling? I don't suppose you can find out much, as every case is different. Have you found anything to give you hope?

Did you teach your classes? Hope the day hasn't passed too slowly. Don't worry about bringing me down, I'm really sad for you, but it's nothing like what you're going through. 

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

I cancelled my classes. Spend another day crying and googling. Dont find much of any use but feel like im doing something. I cant go on feeling this sad all week. I dont know what to do. Want to go back to the hospital but i know i must wait.
Dont feel like seeing the inlaws. Feel like im letting them down :-(
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

You mustn't feel you've let anyone down. It's not anything you have done, these things just happen. I can understand you not wanting to see the in laws, but they're support might help, you might be surprised. 

I read a thread where a baby had a cyst at 28 weeks & then it had just disappeared by the next scan. They grow so quickly at the moment, maybe it will correct itself?

Less than a week till your next scan, so time is passing. What time is this appt? Do you have a sympathetic GP? Maybe you could go & talk to them. When you're feeling so sad, surely it's their job to help you (I don't mean with drugs, just give you more info) I wish I'd gone to GP earlier about my sickness, but you forget they are there to help cos they are so busy. What about your midwife? Could you ring them? I just feel you shouldn't have been left for a week without someone who can tell you more. My midwife rang me at 920pm on Wed, just to check i was ok after hospital stay (scared me ringing at that time of night, but it was nice of her to ring). Or what about ringing the Cow & Gate free helpline? I just hate to think of you feeling so sad & helpless. Maybe talking it through with a neutral person would help?

I'm off to get my hair cut today. I haven't for months cos of the smell of the salon. I hope I can cope with it now. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello.

I do feel like i want to talk to someone but i dont have a regular gp, i usually just see anyone and its always a different one! I would like to talk to my midwife but i have never met her yet and dont have a number for her. Sounds like u are getting better care than me. I dont think i could talk on the phone to anyone as i easily get upset and wont be able to speak. 
My DH is a very strong character he would be best to go see someone with me as he asks loads of questions and demands answers. Im the type of person who just accepts what im told and gets pushed over easily. 

I need to get my hair cut too! It always makes u feel loads better when your hair looks nice . I hope the salon doesnt smell too bad for u xxx


----------



## Pansy

How are you feeling today? Would hubby be able to go to GP with you on Mon if you're still feeling like this? I know it's only a few days till scan then, but each day of being stressed wont do you any good. Maybe the weekend will help - do you have plans? Does your DH work on Sats? 

That's weird you don't have a midwife phone number. Mine emphasised it to me when they booked the first appt, even before I'd been there, & said I could ring 24/7 & a midwife would always be there. 

Remember the cow & gate helpline if you do get desperate. I was crying down the phone to them & that was only about a silly thing like morning sickness. They were v sympathetic & calming.

Salon was ok, didnt smell too strongly, although I'm not liking the smell of the stuff in my hair. Normally I have layers tat I straighten, but cos I can't cope with straightening it at the moment I've now got a one length bob. It looks nice at the moment, I just hope it is still ok when I dry it myself!

We've got builders coming on Mon to put a door from utility to garage. It seemed like a good idea when we booked it, but now I'm not looking forward to all the mess. We need to clear out the garage a bit before they come (by we, I mean DH!)

Hope today's passing at a reasonable pace. Sending you more hugs. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Your hair sounds lovely! 

I thought it strange that i dont have a midwife number. Perhaps if id got to meet her i would of got one.
I did a live chat with cow & gate people but they said its above their knowledge. 

DH and i are both working tomorrow. I havent got other plans. I definately dont want to see friends or anyone. Im not good company right now. Im just hurting so bad. I want to go on thurs and be told they made a mistake. 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

I'm really hoping & praying that they made a mistake too, or that it's sorted itself out somehow. It's so horrible that you are going through this. Sorry that the C&G people weren't any help. 

Could you ringtone hospital where you had the booking in appt? I just got a letter about my Downs test & it said ring midwife if you have any questions, so the must expect to answer questions. I know they probably can't tell you more than the dr did at this stage, but maybe there is some more advice or something.

Maybe work will be a distraction? I can completely understand you not wanting to see people at the moment. How is your DH taking it all? xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

What does your letter say? I hope all is good.

DH is finding info on internet and printing out things to take with us on thurs. He feels just like i do. Thanks for asking 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Letter said baby is low risk for Downs, 1 in 12,000 chance. They said this what it would be at scan, but I'm pleased bloods confirmed it.

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Thats excellent news! 

How big was the back of the neck fluid measure at? Do u know? Mines was 1.3mm
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

It was 1.5mm, so yours should be fine at 1.3. Did you have the blood test done as well? I don't understand what the results of that mean, but apparently they are fine.

Are you managing to sleep? I hope work proves to be a distraction for you today. My DH is working this morning then we are spending the afternoon assembling more of MIL's ikea furniture. I think we've got about 10 cupboards left to do, all of which need doors put on too! It will take quite a long time!!

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

All this DIY sound just like what we are doing with my mums kitchen lol.

I was so pleased with 1.3 and then got told about the brain cyst! I had my blood test too. Not heard any results yet.

I slept ok thanks and we dreading going to work but it has really helped. It has done me the world of good!
I was worried about going because when we went for scan i saw a mother and father of one of the children from dancing and was scared incase she said congrats or told the other mothers. So when i saw her arriving from the window my mum went and told her not to say anything as we have a problem. The lady said she needs to go back from more tests so isnt telling anyone either!

Hope u have almost got the cupboards complete xxx


----------



## Pansy

I'm really pleased work has helped. Strange that mother has to go back for more tests.

DH assembled all the units, but still has 23 out of 30 doors to put on! They take as long as the units! MIL was slightly overwhelming me with what she's bought or is planning to buy straight away. I wish she'd wait, I still don't feel like I'm far enough along. 

DH is making 3 different types of pasta for tea. I hope I can eat one of the at least, he's going to so much effort when he's been working since 6 am!

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Aww bless him. U have a lovely hubby 

I know. Im so glad i didnt let the inlaws order the pram. Better to be cautious now u can see me going through this. I hope i get to remain your bump buddy. :-( 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Yes, I'm v lucky my DH likes cooking so much. I liked 2 out of three pastas, so it was a success. 

I hope you remain my bump buddy too, I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to talk to. None of my friends get it the way you do, as they're not going through it. 

What are you doing today? We're going to visit my cousin & his wife who is due in August. We haven't told them our news yet. They have a very adorable little girl who is nearly 3, so I'm looking forward to seeing her. I haven't seen her since Jan, I hope she still remembers me!

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Your a lemon!

I really need to change my due date on mine but dont feel like doing it yet. 
Today we are going for a nice long walk. It looks very sunny! Then i need to sort the dog out as i need to cuts its fur and nails, its looking scruffy lol.

We will probably go to my mums later for dinner. 

Hope u have a nice day and enjoy telling your cousin 
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

Hope you enjoyed your walk & dog grooming! Does your dog mind having his nails cut? Luckily we don't have to cut my mums Labradors nails, as he walks on pavements a lot. He will let us touch his paws, but I think the nails would be v thick to cut! He gets waxy ears & hates having them cleaned. You just have to mention "ear cleaning" & he hides under the table!

We had a nice day yesterday. My cousins wife is 7 weeks ahead of me. She was really kind & looked after me well, providing me with food when needed. She wasn't actually sick with her ms, but felt dreadful all the time. She still has some sickness now, at 21 weeks, which I didn't find v reassuring!

The builders have arrived. I feel it's far too early - I need to sit calmly for at least another 2 hours before I get on with the day, so I don't feel sick. I feel embarassed about being sick with them in my house, which I know is silly. Hopefully I'll be ok if I just sit here for a bit.

Are you working today? xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Im glad your builders have turned up!  just sit and relax.
Our boiler is acting funny so my brother is coming round soon to take a look at it. He works for british gas.
Our walk was nice but all we talked about was the baby. My head is full of all the things we have looked up and learnt! Even when i look at the TV guide im sure every programme is about the brain! And my laura ashley patterned wallpaper in my hall looks like brains now :-(. My minds full to the brim.
After thurs when i can explain more info to u, i will uploads some pics so u can understand.
Our dog hates her nails being cut but DH pins her down and i cut them lol. She gets a treat after each paw! She is very good at letting u touch her anywhere and loves bring brushed! DH uses his own shaver to trim the hair on her paws lol.
Its nice that u and your cousin are expecting together. My friend is due at the end of June. Im going to find that very hard if this doesnt go well. 
Im at work this afternoon. Quite looking forward to it! Its a nice escape.
I hope the builders do a good job and u havent needed to be sick xxx


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## Pansy

Hope your boiler starts behaving & doesn't need to be fixed, you don't need that as well this week!

My builders are being very noisy, it's driving me a little insane. I'm in all afternoon now, but the hole for the door has been made, so I'm hoping that's the worst of it. (Argh, spoke too soon, now they are hammering!) The door frame was in, but now it's out again. I can't remember if they said it would be one day or two.

I'm not surprised you were talking about baby, it must be hard to think of anything else. It's a shame your wallpaper looks like brains now. At least it's not in your bedroom, that would be worse. Only 3 more days till you find out more. (This week seems to have gone so slowly)

Hope work was good. My littlest brother is coming home from Malaysia today, so I'm excited about seeing him soon. I have been imessaging him for an hour or so while he waited for connecting flight at Qatar airport. He gets into Heathrow late tonight so I may see him tomorrow or Wed.

Do you have any pics of your dog you can upload? She sounds really cute!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Builders do make a lot of mess and noise but will be worth it!
Bet your looking forward to seeing your brother..thats nice 
I will upload a Hollie the collie pic soon lol xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

Up early again for the builders. I think they should be finished today. Then it will just be a big clean up! I have a confession to make tho - I have hired a cleaner for a few weeks. I was feeling really bad that DH had to do everything after working a ridiculous number of hours, while I just sit here feeling sick. I saw an ad on the village notice board & rang o ask if she'd be happy to just help for a few weeks, till I'm back on my feet. I feel embarassed that I have had to resort to this, but I felt like it was the best thing for DH & I. Do you think it's really lazy?

Are you working again today? I've got to work this morning & then let DH have my car,as his brakes stopped working last night! He's working nights, so I have to ring the garage & hope they can squeeze him in. The idea of him driving to garage does not make me happy, but he insists its fine.

Hope you're feeling as ok as poss today. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

So many things seem to be braking lately. My brother is back again this morning trying to fix the boiler. I hope u can get your DH car into the garage to be repaired.
I dont think its lazy at all for u to get a cleaner. Some people have them all the time. If u feel too sick then its a good solution. You can give it a try and see how you like having a cleaner. Id probably clean up before they came lol so we didnt seem too dirty 
Im ok today thanks. Hubby and i are both off today so just relaxing. Thursday is getting closer! 

Xxx


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## Pansy

The cleaner came for the first time last Wed & I spent the AM tidying first, lol! Just light work I could do, she then did the bathrooms & ironing. It was definitely a help & I thinking will be again tomorrow. 

We asked the builder to quote for some outside work & he's said he can do it tomorrow, so now they'll be back tomorrow! We must be mad! Hopefully it will be quieter as it will be outside. We might as well get it all over & done with at once, but I was looking forward to some peace tomorrow!

Hope your boiler is getting mended. DH got the car to the garage, now we've just got to hope it's not too expensive!

What time is your appointment on Thurs? Not long now. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

What work are u getting done outside?

The boiler is still not working. We are buying a few parts to try. To be honest I don't even care at the moment but its a distraction at least.

My appointment Thursday is 11.30am but I just got a voice mail from the hospital telling me to ring them back but by the time i listened to it and rang they are closed now. I will need to ring in the morning. They are either telling me, my scan appointment is getting moved or my pregnancy i high risk but i cant really get any news wrose than i did last week.

xxx


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## Pansy

I hope they are not postponing your appointment. A shame you couldn't get through tonight, I hope you don't worry about it too much over night. 

We're having a gate post put in & 2 proper gates made. DH has tried twice, but both attempts have failed as its so windy here (we live in the hills) & he's not that great at DIY. 

My brother came over to see me with my mum & dad this afternoon, which was lovely. He seems to have had an amazing 4 weeks in Malaysia. We looked at 1/2 of his photo, which took 2 hours! It was certainly an endurance test!! He goes back to uni on Sun, so I'm hoping to see him as much as possible before then.
xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Rang hospital and they said my blood test showed very very low levels of pregnancy hormone and the babies level is low too. They said they will talk to me more about it tomorrow. But DH and i are guessing that the baby is dying on its own. They said they cant give me a risk for downs because the levels are so low and off the scale xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Also, low levels might be why i feel normal and no ms etc ...


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## Pansy

Oh no, I'm so sorry. That is so sad. Maybe you're guessing wrong, but it doesn't sound good. How are you feeling? Have you got someone with you?

Sending lots of hugs. Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Im feeling ok thanks. The phone call didnt upset me. I was expecting bad news and are pretty much understanding that this dream is over for us :-( so sad but we are thinking about trying again etc to help us focus.
I will let u know what they say tomorrow.
My brother is here again but i havent told him about the phone call as there is no point.
I feel guilty of thinking about moving on and ttc again when the baby is still here but it helps. Ive still got clomid so will take that again when i can start ttc again. If i can get preg quickly then i could be your buddy again 
Will be nice to keep in touch anyway as id like to stick with u through your journey and i can still chat to u about my ttc journery etc
Xxx


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## Pansy

I'm really gad you are taking it ok. Like you said, you got the worst news last week, so at least you've had some time to get used to it.

You don't need to feel guilty, it's only natural that you'd think about trying again. At least now you know your body can get pregnant, where as before you must've wondered if that coukd happen. I would love to share the TTC journey with you, or whatever happens next. I'd hate to not know what was happening in your life, having heard all about it for last 9 weeks! I'd really miss you! I was going to say, if you don't feel you can come on the forums afterwards tomorrow, do you want me to PM you my email address, but it sounds like you are hopeful of being able to still come on here. 

Xxx


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## calm

I have been following your story MrsBroodyPants, so so sorry :( :(


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u calm
Thats very kind of u. Thanks for posting Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I think i will still be able to come on here and talk. I will see how i feel. You have been really good support.

I hope your garden gates are looking good xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Here is a picture of my dog Hollie when she was a puppy in 2008


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## MrsBroodyPant

Here is Hollie how she looks now. She is 4 years old now x


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## Pansy

Aww, what a cutie! The puppy pic is adorable & she still looks lovely now! I love how you've got her sitting in front of the ruins, v nice pic! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

We have that picture of her infront of the priory on canvas in our hall. 
It's Guisborough Priory which is in the town where we live. We also had pictures taken there on our wedding day. 
xxx


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## Pansy

How lovely that that's a canvas print. We have canvases from our honeymoon in bedroom - it's so nice to have your own pictures up.

Our similarities continue - on our wedding day we had pictures taken at Glastonbury Abbey, which is also a ruined abbey, destroyed by Dissolution of the Monastries in 1540s! We went there especially to take the pictures. The rest of the guests went on to the reception, as we didnt want to pay for them all to enter!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

We did the same! Our guests didnt come with us either and it was lovely to have a bit of time just the two of us straight after becoming husband and wife. I love weddings! Havent got any weddings a head now on my calendar.
My nephew is getting Christened on 21st April. I was really looking forward to it before but now i might find it difficult. My brother said its totally fine if i dont go but i do want to go. I will just have to see whats happening around that time. 
Ive been looking at cottages and log cabins to book a quiet week away with the DH and dog. I think i need to relax and get away for a bit. Id love a little rural holiday where we take long walks, just talk and eat and watch dvds where nobody can disturb us . I dont mind where, i will go anywhere in UK. Have u thought more about booking something? Xxx


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## Pansy

I really enjoyed the car journey from the abbey to our reception on our wedding day, cos that was our private time. We also watched the sunset together for a moment at one point during the reception, that was lovely too. I haven't got any chance if a wedding on the horizon either, don't know anyone who is close. I'd love to go to another wedding. 

Your time away sounds ideallic. I wonder where you'll end up going. We have a week booked off in June, so have been looking into where to go. We're either going to Cornwall or northern France by Euro tunnel. I don't want to book that far in advance yet tho. I'd also love a weekend in a hotel for our anniversary in May, but I don't know if we'll do that.

In case I don't get a chance to write before work tomorrow, I hope it goes as well as it can go. I'll be thinking of you and you DH all AM. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Its Thursday at last!!!

Thank u. I will update when i can xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

UPDATE! 

The cyst is gone! Can not be found! Two very good docs were looking all its brain appears totally normal.

Its a miricle!!!!!!!

However my very low hormone levels are very worrying. The baby could have a chromosome disorder that is not compatible with life. I go next tues 16th for a CVS test where they take a sample of placenta to test. You get a definate result in 48 hours. If result ok then brilliant but still need to worry about low hormones. If test comes back that it does have a disorder then i need a medical termination.
So still not out the woods but the brain defect being gone is fantastic news!!!!!

Xxxxx


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## Pansy

Oh my goodness! I can't believe the cyst has gone. It is amazing!

Still a worry about the low hormone level, but there are threads on the Internet about people with low hormone levels having healthy pregnancies (I did a search yest when you said about that). I'm sorry you have to go through a CVS & that there's still a chance of problems, but at least there is a chance of it being ok too. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I know. I am feeling more positive and at least with the cvs test u get a definate answer so the hard decision is made for me.

Thanks for all your support xxx


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## calm

MrsBroodyPant said:


> UPDATE!
> 
> The cyst is gone! Can not be found! Two very good docs were looking all its brain appears totally normal.
> 
> Its a miricle!!!!!!!
> 
> However my very low hormone levels are very worrying. The baby could have a chromosome disorder that is not compatible with life. I go next tues 16th for a CVS test where they take a sample of placenta to test. You get a definate result in 48 hours. If result ok then brilliant but still need to worry about low hormones. If test comes back that it does have a disorder then i need a medical termination.
> So still not out the woods but the brain defect being gone is fantastic news!!!!!
> 
> Xxxxx

For what its worth I said a simple metta pray before opening your journal and I am happily amazed that the cyst has gone, it sounds like a miracle. I have everything crossed for your placenta test :flower:


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u calm. That was very kind of u to pray. Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

I still can't believe the cyst has gone! Did the drs say how it could happen? Was it just baby growing/correcting the problem itself? Were the drs helpful in explaining things or were you left with loads of questions?

I can definitely see your point about the relief of cvs taking the decision away from you. Having a definite answer after all your worries will be good. Do you have to rest after the cvs? At least you only have to wait til next Thursday. These last few weeks must've gone by so strangely for you, always waiting for the next appointment.

We're you able to see LO? Was it moving about? Had it grown?

My MS is changing a bit. I wasn't suck yesterday morning, for the first time in I don't know how long. I still felt sick at various points throughout the day, but thought I was going to have a day without being sick. As I did my teeth, just before bed, I threw up, which annoyed me a lot, as it seemed such a waste of food. I haven't been sick in eve for ages. But I'm taking it as a potential good sign, cos at least it's changing. I would normally have been sick by now in the AM & haven't, so I'm hopeful again today.

The builders have gone! They were back yest & I didn't think I'd ever get rid if them! The gae looks really good. DH had painted the plaster in the utility. I hate the smell of paint at the best of times, but at the moment it feels like I'm being poisoned any time I go near it! I hope the smell goes soon.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Im glad your ms is improving. Thats such a good sign for u. If brushing your teeth makes u sick then give it a miss once in a while - they wont fall out 
I always think its a waste of food being sick as well lol.

I know, i cant believe the cyst has gone either! But the 2 docs, DH & myself could all see the screen & there was nothing abnormal. The doc said it was a textbook brain like any other! He said it could of been normal fetal brain development mistaken for a cyst or the cyst could of disappeared & that fetuses have an amazing ability to repair & heel themselves!

The doc was brilliant. We were v.happy with him & his knowledge & he explained everything well & answered our questions. The same doc is doing my CVS on tues so im glad about that. There is a 1% of miscarriage which is low & i obviously need it doing. My very low hormone levels indicate chromosome abnormalities. The reading for papp-a should be 1.00 and mine is only 0.08 that is so bad & scary! Its a marker for syndroms that are not compatible with life. Doc checked all of baby to see any other markers but cant find anything wrong at the moment but its hard to tell this early.
If the CVS comes back ok then i still have the low papp-a problem which then means the placenta might fail & bad blood flow to baby, so i would need asprin to thin blood & regular growth scans. Im now high dependancy! So far doc can see the placenta looks healthy & strong attatchment.
The baby could stop growing if the plancenta cant do its job. But it had grown 13mm in the last week. I am now 12+4. I do worry though that my dd got put back 2 weeks & i am now quite a way behind u. Maybe thats a sign already!

The inlaws came round last night. MIL brought me some tulips! We had a good chat & they feel positive now the cyst has gone. They are very supportive. I feel so much better after seeing & speaking to them. 

Did i tell u that i saw a mum from dancing at the hospital last week? I saw her again yesterday & she had a red face & eyes from crying. She had a gown on so i think she had CVS done. I hope it doesnt hurt too much!!

When CVS is done they sort out the 23 pairs if chromosomes so the person doing that will know if its a boy or girl  im starting to want to know.

Ive learnt a lot havent i? Lol im a right clever clogs now .
I hope u still havent been sick! And are having a nice builders free day  xxx


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## Pansy

Yes, you've learnt loads, you seme to be an expert on it all! I hope the fact that dr couldn't find any other markers is a good sign. Do you have far to go to hospital each time? Sounds lkie you might have to make a lot of trips.

I'm glad your in laws were a help. Having supportive family is so important. 

How weird that someone else will know the gender of your baby! Would they tell you if you asked? I would find that too tempting, I think. Id have to rely on DH to keep me strong!

I still haven't been sick! I'm just keeping my fingers crossed I'll make it through this evening. I actually went out for a (very short) walk with my brother & parents dog ths afternoon! I felt exhausted & sick when back, but not too bad when out - I wasn't looking at bushes & wondering if I coukd be sick behind them the whole time!! I'm really hoping it continues, although I've heard you can have good days & bad days still.

What are you up to this weekend? DH is working all day tomorrow, so I'm going to see my brother before he goes back to uni on Suni. I was hoping the weather would be nice on Sun, but now they're forecasting gales, so we might just do more of the ikea furniture. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

So glad u still havent been sick...go u!!

Our hospital is about 10/15 mins away. Its not far and its close to my mums house.

I have been lazy today. Stayed home and havent done anything! Working tomorrow and im starting a new beginners class so i need to start earlier. 
Just taking this day by day now and waiting for tues. It should go quicker than the last week!!

Its nice that u are getting to spend time with your brother. Is he excited about being an Uncle? How old are your brothers? Mine are 34 & 38.

I hope your ms stays away xxx


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## Pansy

Just had a thought - do the drs really know what they are on about with these blood tests? According to my 2 blood tests this cycle I didnt ovulate! I think I can safely say that I did! When your mum was pregnant, they didn't have these tests did they? Maybe it's a normal level for you, but just doesn't fit in with their averages. (They multiply it by something to make it the figure that should be 1 don't they, maybe that calculation isn't right for you). I know it sounds far fetched, but I just thought, maybe they don't know everything they think they know.

My brothers are 29 & 20. It's the 20 year old I get on with most. I was 12 when he was born & his friends used to call me his other mummy! I helped look after him a lot when he was little.

Glad you've had a restful day after all you've been through recently. If the results are ok on thurs, you'll need to give yourself lots of tlc to help baby. Hope your new class goes well tmr.

xxx


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## Pansy

Sorry, I probably shouldn't have written that. I meant to give you hope, but I don't want you to doubt the doctors. And obviously I don't mean it doesn't need investigating, just maybe it will all be alright in the end. Hope that's how it came across & not that I was belittling what you're going through or anything. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Dont worry, i totally understand what u mean. You are helping, thank u. I like your questioning. Ive been thinking the same. I actually said to the doc that my mum could of had low hormone levels but wouldnt of know and he said yes it could run in your family.

I opted for the downs blood test like u did, so if i hadnt then i wouldnt of known and wouldnt be doing the CVS test. I would of been over the moon now with the cyst gone!!
However i do prefer to be realistic and i dont mind a few weeks of worry if all can be well in the end. 

I hope to god that my baby is ok and does not have a chromosome disorder. I know i will still be facing other issues but it will be the best chance its got.

I love my baby so much already!!

I get on really well with both my brothers now but ive always got on well with the eldest as it was a bigger age gap between us and he used to look after me. Our dad died just before i was born so my brother has always been protective of me. I used to fight with my other brother who im closer to in age but looking back i really quite enjoyed it!! Lol nothing bad, just the usual sibling arguments....all lots of fun lol. When u grow up your relationships do change dont they? I especially found when my brothers became dads themselves they got even nicer and more loving towards me. My eldest brother gave me away at my wedding . That was nice.

Xxx


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## calm

I hope you don't both mind me checking your progress. I didn't realize at the time that it was a thread where 2 women share their pregnancy, I thought it was your journal Mrsbroodypant. As I am not even pregnant it might seem a bit strange, but I am so rooting for you and beanie, and I send metta prays when I read you (its a sort of Buddhist pray where you desire the best for yourself and others). You are being so strong! As for you Pancy, big congrats on your lemon!!!! XXXX


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u Calm. Its brilliant to have so much support. Dont worry, u can pop in whenever u want. I hope u get yout bfp soon! I will pray for u too xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u Calm. Its brilliant to have so much support. Dont worry, u can pop in whenever u want. I hope u get yout bfp soon! I will pray for u too xxx


----------



## Pansy

I'm glad you understand what I was trying to say. I hadn't thought of it like that, that if you hadn't had the downs blood test you wouldn't know. But, I agree, better to be realistic. If I had to choose about the blood test now, knowing what you've been through, I'd still take the test. Although, I will admit, I don't think I'd thought through all the implications when I took it.

I wasn't sick yesterday! Woohoo! I don't even remember when that last happened! And so far, so good this morning! (Don't think worrying "is baby alright cos my symptoms have changed" thoughts Catherine!! It's perfectly normal for it to get better now isn't it?) I know I don't have any where near as much to worry about as you do, but I don't think I'll not worry about baby till I hold them. And then a new world of worries start don't they!!

Sorry to hear about your dad. My best friend's dad died before she was born too. I fought with my older brother loads when we were growing up too. Now he rings me regularly and tells me his problems, so we're kind of close, although he doesn't listen to my problems much! My little brother was 12 when I met DH, so he's grown up knowing him. They get on really well. My little brother used to come & stay often before he went to uni & they'd play computer games & badminton & stuff. He decided the spare room in my flat was his room! DH had him as one of his two best men at the wedding, which was cute. He made a very short but very amusing speech!

xxx


----------



## Pansy

Calm - thanks for your congratulations. Good luck with your IVF journey.


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## MrsBroodyPant

Guess what? We had 2 best men at our wedding as well. Not many people do that....so strange that we both did! 

Im glad u havent been sick. Yipee!! Dont worry about symptoms going. Once the placenta is fully kicked in then u get a break from about 2nd tri. I know its hard not to worry about every little thing.

Yes i chose to have the downs tested but expected to be low risk. Its like when i had my HSG done i didnt expect them to find one of my tubes blocked but they did. Its easier not knowing but better to know.

Hope u are having a nice weekend?

My new dance class went well. Im so tired now. Its been a long day with class after class. Im having a little sleep now until DH comes home :)
Good night lol

Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

P.s 
I told DH last night that they got your bloods wrong and said u didnt even ovulate. He said u must be the virgin mary lol your expecting a miricle child  xxx


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## calm

MrsBroodyPant said:


> P.s
> I told DH last night that they got your bloods wrong and said u didnt even ovulate. He said u must be the virgin mary lol your expecting a miricle child  xxx

I've read that quite a lot on BnB actually, women that were told they didn't ovulate and then they were pregnant. It makes you wonder sometimes if they really know what they are talking about lol


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## MrsBroodyPant

Yes i agree. Ive read it a few times too xxx


----------



## Pansy

That's so weird about us both having 2 best men. I don't even know anyone else who did! We have so many similarities! Lol at your DH thinking its a miracle baby!

Glad your classes went well. Hope you had a restful evening. I went to my parents yesterday to see my brother - we ended up ironing plants!!! He had to collect plant samples & press them to hand in as coursework on Friday. He's left it too late to press them the traditional way & had heard you coukd iron them to speed it up! So that's what we did! It seemed to work quite well.

In the eve I finished a knitted hat for baby. It is the first complete item (apart from the odd scarf) I have ever knitted & it actually looks alright, so I'm very pleased with it! Don't know what to knit next - the next pattern in my "teach yourself to knit" book isn't very cute. I might make another hat for my cousins baby. Or maybe one in the next size up for my baby.

I wasn't sick again yesterday - 2 days in a row!!!! Unheard of! Feel dodgy this morning, but nothing so far.

What are you up to today? It's ridiculously windy here. Had to send DH downstairs in middle of night to put a towel across the door to stop the wind howling under it! We've bought some plants that need planting, but I don't know if we'll get a chance today. DH has got on well with painting our new garage door, maybe he'll finish that, as well as some ikea assembly. Does Hollie mind the wind? My parents dog Tal isn't keen as it blows his big ears all over the place!

xxx


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## Pansy

Crikey, navel orange! That seems big! Bit of a difference from a poppy seed! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Congrats on your orange & another sick free day!

Ive never ironed a plant before lol i dont even iron most of my clothes ha ha!!

My garden is quite full with plants and when some die, new ones come. But it all looks a bit scruffy at the moment. I need to get out there and tidy it up. Id love to get a little wooden play house in my garden for my child and put number 35 on the front because thats our house number. 

We have lots of DIY to do too but its on hold at the moment. If this test comes back ok then we seriously need to get cracking. 

Do u have curtains over your front door? That might help with the wind. We have some but i need to get them taken up first before hanging them. Its windy here today too. Hollie doesnt mind, she doesnt like thunder but is fine with everything else. Except..hoover...dusting.. .sweeping brushes.. lol etc she likes to chase them.

Well done knitting a hat. That sounds hard to me! You will need a few hats with it being Oct and then winter 

Today DH is going to work. Im going to do housework...what fun!!! Nothing interesting planned. I dont feel like meeting up with friends just yet.

Hope u have a nice day and DH gets jobs done. What colour are u having your garage door? Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello! How are you today? 3 non-vomiting days here, v excited! And I had fish & chips for tea last night - my favourite takeaway which I haven't had since being pregnant. I didn't eat much & I didn't eat the batter, but it was still exciting!

The little playhouse sounds adorable, I really hope it's not too long before you can get that. We only have a small garden & a patio, just enough room for a swing or similar. We have a gate on to a playing field from the back & can walk across it to a park in about a minute, so LO should have plenty of space to play.

Did you get some housework done? DH put on about 15 doors, so he's 1/2 way through. MIL continued to freak me out a bit - she's bought 36 packets of wet wipes! I suppose they can be used for other things, not just babies (that's how I'm trying to ignore that they have been bought so early). She has bought me a top from asda that says "love my bump" in huge letters on the front & has a big heart on it. It's really not my taste. I don't want to seem ungrateful or upset her, cos its sweet she's bought something for me, but I really cant wear it. It's way too in your face! I'm sort of hoping to wear normal tops that just have extra room. I still want to look like me. I've never worn anything with a big slogan & my SIL didn't when she was pregnant, so I don't quite know what she was thinking. It's going to be very awkward. 

What time is your appointment tomorrow? Have you been reading up about whats involved? Do you have to take it easy afterwards? Are you feeling nervous?

xxx


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## Pansy

I so hope my MIL never finds my posts on here! I've never mentioned the name of the forum & she'd never guess my username, although she has seen the pic of the booties. I'm probably safe though aren't I?


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## MrsBroodyPant

Yes im sure u are safe on here. If somebody found the thread i dont think they could tell who it was or even be bothered to read it all.

I wouldnt like that slogan top either. U could wear it for bed lol. 
The house that i grew up in sounds in a situation like yours with a park and feild out the back gate. My brother lives there now. He bought the house back 12 years after my mu sold it. I love that house! 
We have a decent sized garden and if u walk up the road a few yards then u get into the woods and hills and there are lots of play things there. 
My appointment is 9.45am so nice and early. I need to rest for 24 hours after but im going to rest longer. Straight after my CVS DH is going to drive to this popular ice-cream shop and buy some for me on our way home. I need a treat for afterwards lol.
I had fish and chips last sat....yummy! Im glad u are getting to enjoy them again.

Fx for another sick free day! U will probably make it to a full week 
Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Ive just seen a TV advert for Asda where a lady has bought loads of packets of baby wipes! Lol i cant believe your MIL bought 36! Thats loads! 

Im getting nervous for the big needle tomorrow for my CVS. Im a bit scared. I hope baby is ok. Im going to be very upset if baby has a chromosome problem as ive now been given a second chance after the brain cyst. I dont know what to think anymore. Im getting frightened about the procedure and results xxx


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## Pansy

It's only natural to be scared, but you've just got to try to relax as much as you can. The NHS website describes it as "uncomfortable rather painful", so maybe it won't be too bad. It's worse for larger ladies, so that's not you. 

The fact that baby is still growing must mean something positive. And also that they couldn't see any other markers. You've just got to cross your fingers, you can't do anything to change the results. At least you'll know one way or another in 3 days, and maybe it will be fine. I can completely understand you being worried, I would be too. I'm continuing o hope & pray for your LO, lets just hope that makes a difference. At least you can take it easy after, you don't have to run around after another child or anything. And the ice cream will help, I'm sure!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u. You are great for support. I know i just have to have it done and see what the results say. I will try to relax as much as possible during and afterwards. Im going to work soon so im sure that will help take my mind off it. 

Hope u are having a nice day. The sun is out here and its not windy anymore xxx


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## Pansy

Glad you've got work to take your mind off it. Have you got a good book or magazine you can read tomorrow afternoon? Or a film you can watch? Maybe it's time to treat yourself if not.

I'm having quite a constructive day, catching up with washing. Haven't managed to actually do this much for weeks, hope DH will be pleased with me. It's sunny but windy here, so good drying weather. It's actually quite mild when the wind isn't blowing too, which is nice. I'm just hoping the rain holds off till its all dry.

I wish I could find something that tastes nice to drink. I don't drink hot or fizzy drinks, never have. I have Tropicana tropical juice with breakfast, but find it too acidic if I drink it at other times. I used to drink blackcurrent squash before I got pregnant, but that was the first thing I started hating the taste of. I force myself to drink lemon squash, but don't enjoy it. I've tried orange, apple & tropical squash, but no good. It would be so much easier to keep myself hydrated if I liked what I drank. What do you drink? Have you got any ideas? 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Well done getting your washing done. Its a hard boring task at the best of times.
I never drink fizzy drinks either! Never have done. I used to drink coffee but gave it up when i got my bfp. I still drink hot chocolate. I actually love water so drink lots of that or cranberry juice as well. I drink milk but i dont like milk so i put a tiny bit of nesquik strawberry milkshake in it andi can drink it like that. I love J2O! Im quite fussy when it comes to food and drink. I dont like much lol 

We are planning on watching dvds tomorrow as DH is off work so he can do all the cooking too xxx


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## Pansy

That's really nice that your DH has the day off too, so e can look after you. Much better than being on your own. What are you watching? My DH really likes watching American series on DVD. He can watch some artwork when he's on the night shift, so that's when e watches the gory ones. At the moment we're watching Mad Men & Big Bang Theory. We also have one more series of House to watch. He's never watched Friends so I'm trying to convince him to I've that a go, but I'm losing the battle! I loved watching that when it was on. 

I love j2o too, although mainly apple & mango. I haven't tried that recently, maybe I should again. I haven't tried cranberry juice, maybe that would make a change. I get really bored of water, so need to add something to it. My favourite cafe does this delicious chocolate milkshake made from homemade Italian style ice cream. It is so nice! When you talked about ice cream earlier it made me want some & now you've mentioned milkshake I've aken it as a sign I need to buy some! Just got to convince DH he feels like an outing there one day soon!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning!

Another day, another scan lol.

I dont know what films we will watch today. I like girly ones rather than the action ones DH likes. He had never watched Friends either when we first met but i got him to watch them and he loves it! Im sure your DH would too, its just giving it a chance. My brother likes Big Bang Theroy but i tried to watch it and couldnt get into it. All the characters seem so strange but i didnt really give that much of a chance. 

Nearly ice-cream time! I hope u get your ice-cream milkshake soon....it sounds yummy!

I will let u know how today goes.

Xxx


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## Pansy

Good luck for today, I hope it goes ok & isn't too uncomfortable. I will be thinking of you. 

We have the girls vs action film problem in our house too. DH thinks I don't like films, just because I don't like the films he likes. He seems to be the one who gets to choose most of the time, not sure how that's fair!! We don't tend to go to the cinema that much cos we can't agree on what to see. If I have to watch one of his films, I prefer to do it in comfort at home!

Hope you enjoy your ice cream! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Lol my DH thinks the same, that i dont like films! And he chooses most of them too. We usually watch them in bed then i just go sleep lol.

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Im back home now watching loose women! Lol

The CVS went well. It didnt hurt much and i could do it again if i needed to. But the scan showed the placenta doesnt look as healthy and its smaller than last scan. Also the babies head has grown but the body hasnt. Doc gave us 80% chance of a chromosome disorder and even if it doesnt im at high risk of placenta failing or baby not growing properly. Ive pretty much lost all hope now. I cant believe ive got this far to be honest. I cant see a chance of survival.

Xxx


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## Pansy

I'm glad the cvs wasn't too painful. I'm really sorry to hear that the placenta is shrinking and baby isn't growing as he should. That doesn't sound good. It does seem hard o have hope with news like that. At least you only have 2 days to wait for the results, not like the usual week of agonising. Do you have to go back to the hospital for the results? I really hope they wouldn't tell you that kind of thing over the phone.

Has the cvs caused any bleeding? Is it sore where the needle went in? It's good you feel you could do it again if needed.

Do you feel sort of like you were prepared for the worst or are you finding this news very upsetting?

Have you agreed on a film yet? We have a sofa bed in the living room, so if its a film I don't want to watch I ask for that to be opened & we watch it on that. Much more comfy! When we have very young (6-8 yr old) clients at work, I have to supervise them while their parents talk to my boss, which usually means watching a film. Today I was paid to watch Enchanted for 45mins with a 6 year old - it's not a bad job!

It's my mums birthday today so I'm hoping she will call in on her way home from work so I can pass on her present. I've also bought her a small chocolate cake - if she doesn't call in, I may have to eat it myself, what a shame!!

Hope you manage to have a relaxing afternoon.

xxx


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## calm

I am sorry to read that MrsBroodyPant, not got any good words to say, just want to give you a hug XXXXX


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## MrsBroodyPant

Its my brothers birthday today too! I hope your mum has a nice birthday and enjoys her cake.

We could choose how to get the results. We chose over the phone, that way i can cry at home instead of front of people. I know the results will be bad. Im prepared and have been since the brain cyst. A story this up and down can not end well. Its a rollercoaster and in some way if the results are good then the worry will continue and thats worse! 
We watched a bit of tv and have just had a little sleep lol. Still dont know what film to watch lol

Xxx


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## Pansy

How are you today? Any pain from the needle? Did you choose a good film in the end? 

Do you have a telephone appointment or will they just ring when they feel like it? Will they be able to tell you the next steps over the phone or will you have to go in to find out that? 

My mum enjoyed her cake & presents. I put up a birthday banner & got out the birthday table cloth for her. My brother happened to FaceTime me from uni just before she arrived, so I stood my iPad on the table so there was also his head to greet her! It looked v amusing!

My neighbour, who owns the chickens & the cat who visits us, now has a lamb in her house! Her 21 year old son brought it home after its mother rejected it (it was a triplet). Apparently she has to bottle feed it every 2 hours all day and night! She said its worse than a baby cos at least you can put a nappy on a baby! I couldn't believe it when I saw her walk out of her house with a lamb under her arm. I wonder what she'll do with it when it grows up. She has horses elsewhere, maybe she'll put it with them. 

Are you having another restful day? My cleaner comes today, so I'll tidy a bit before then!! 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Lol at tidying before the cleaner comes.

Im resting again today but DH is going to drive me to my mums house so i can rest there. She has more food than ive got in at the moment lol.

I remember when i stayed in Devon when we went last year. We hired 'pheasants roost' on Redhayes Farm in Broadwoodkelly near Winkleigh. 

Id love a little lamb! Wouldnt be as keen on the sheep though. 
Im glad your mum had a nice birthday.

I should get the results tomorrow. Problem is i need to go to work tomorrow afternoon which might prove difficult if im upset. Id want to cancel my classes but i already cancelled two thursdays. Im going to have to force myself to go. 

Xxx


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## kiki04

Oh Broody I just read through as I wanted to check in on you as I haven't been on in ages... and I so saddened to hear of these worries for your baby :( As you know from reading my journal I have been down a terrible road myself in second trimester, so if you ever need to talk I am here :hugs:


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u kiki04.

Ive been wanting to tell you about this but havent seen u around or found updates on your journal. I think i will be in your position soon of ttc a rainbow baby. I will let u know my outcome. I hope u are ok and get your BFP real soon xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

We got the cvs results.
The baby has triploidy which is 69 chromosomes rather than 46 (23 from parent) so it has an extra set. This happens when the egg is fertilized by two sperm. It is very rare so shouldnt happen again. We are very upset but will be ok. Im sad that i wont be your bump buddie anymore but will still chat on here and i will get another bfp soon!!
Xxx


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## calm

:( So so sorry :hugs:


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u calm. Thanks for praying for me and my baby xxx


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## Pansy

I'm so sorry Janine. The worst news. But from what I've learnt about you and your DH, I'm sure you will be ok in time. I'm glad it rare & unlikely to happen again. What do you have to do now?

I'm sorry I wasn't on last night to send my sympathy earlier. My ms came back with a vengence yest afternoon, to the extent that I couldn't keep water down again. I've been sipping water over night & am currently hoping I can keep breakfast down. I've been told to ring GP today. 

I hope you are as ok as you can be today & will be thinking of you. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thanks
We go to the hospital today at 11.30 to find out what we do next. Its going to be horrible. But we will hopefully find out if the baby is a boy or girl.
I will let u know what happens.

Sorry your ms is back. I hope u are ok. Ring the gp if u need to. Xxx


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## Pansy

Good luck for your appointment. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I wish I could do something to help. All I can do is send you hugs and keep you I my thoughts and prayers. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thanks.
I really hate 2013! I hope the end of the year is good with your baby being born and me having another bfp. Id love to be pregnant again by october.

Please keep talking to me and dont feel bad about telling me about your pregnancy and baby buys etc. Im happy for u. I will be back in this position again soon with a healthy child. I still want to share your journey. 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Thank you. I will do. I would really miss you if I couldn't talk to you anymore. And make sure you keep telling me about what you're going through & then your TTC journey. And I think we have enough in common to talk about other things too!

I'm sure you will get a BFP again soon. At least this was just a one off thing, it's not like its likely to happen again. You know you can get pregnant now & your body can cope with it, so you will have more hope than last time you were TTC. You've just got a horrible bit to get through now, and then your life can get back to being positive. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Yes your right.

DH keeps telling me the same thing. We know we can get pregnant now and we know clomid works. It is making us even more determind to be successful and DH wants to have more children than he planned. Although one would be lovely, id like 4 children and DH always wanted less but he wants 4 now lol. I hope we can make this dream happen.

Ive just had a coffee for first time since my bfp. It was nice  xxx


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## calm

:hugs: glad you enjoyed that coffee, you deserve so much a rainbow XXXXXX


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## MrsBroodyPant

We have found out the baby is a girl. I would of loved a little girl.

I go hospital on sunday to take a tablet then have the baby naterally on tuesday. My DH can be with me. It will be so hard and so sad
Xxx


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## Pansy

I'm so sorry. This is all so sad. Will you give her a name?

Did they say how long you are likely to be in hospital for on Tuesday? Will it definitely not start til Tues? 

Will you go to your classes this afternoon? I hope someone will be with you if not. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

We are not going to give her a name. I think it would just make it harder for me.

Yes im going to dancing soon. I dont want to but im not there long tonight.

After the tablet it could start sooner than tues and if it does then i have to go straight to hospital. Dont know what to do about my monday classes yet. 
Doc said hopefully i will be home by midnight tues but could go on until wed. 

Im not looking forward to this part one bit. It seems scary xxx


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## Pansy

Yes, it does seem scary. I'm so sorry you have to go through it. Are there threads on here where other people say what it was like?

My mum lost a baby at 20 weeks, although it died at 16 weeks, when i was 8. They didn't tell her there was no heartbeat at 16 weeks, she found out a few days before she lost it by going to drs about some cramps/bleeding/something. She passed it at home. She said she woke up in night with period like cramps, went to bathroom and passed it. I only found out all the details a few weeks ago (although I remember her going to hospital at the time). 

There's nothing I can say to make this bit any less awful. You just have to try to focus on your holiday afterwards & then trying again. You will get through it. 

Hope your classes have taken our mind off it, even if its just for a few seconds.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u for telling me the story about your mum. Lots of people have to deal with terrible things in their lives. Most people dont talk about it so i guess it happens more often than we think.

Its my nephews christening on sunday - not good timing. Im going straight from christening of a gorgeous baby to the hospital to take the tablet to stop my baby. Not good timing at all.

I went to work and didnt really want to be there but taught as enthusiastically as ever. Its so strange that no one knows what im going through and to them im as happy as normal. Im so glad no one at dancing does know though, it makes life easier.
I hope u havent been sick today? How have u been? 
Xxx


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## Pansy

That is really bad timing with the Christening, what a shame. That will be extra hard for you. At least it's family so they will understand how you are feeling. Will there be lots of people there?

It is lucky no one knows at dancing, at least that can offer you the chance of escape & you don't have to worry about people asking you how you are. 

I wasn't sick yesterday & think I managed to drink a fair bit to rehydrate myself. I've been sick this morning tho, so I'm not in the clear yet. After my 5 days without it, I was hopeful I was over it. 

What are you doing today? Hope you have something to keep you occupied. I've got to do some overtime at work this morning. My boss will be in, so that always makes the work take twice as long. She likes coming up with new tasks when I'm in the middle of something else!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,
Hope u are ok at work with your ms. Your boss sounds annoying. So glad i dont work for anyone. Well done on the 5 sick free days! Thats brilliant. 

Im going to visit my brother this morning (the one who has the baby who is getting Christened). I want to see them before Sunday and tesr how i react today
Im going shopping later to buy a new outfit for the Christening. I think that will help me feel a little better.
There will be 70 people on Sunday but i only know a handful of them. Hopefully i will cope ok

Xxx


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## Pansy

Gosh 70 people is a lot! How did you get on at your brother's? Have you managed to find a nice outfit? How are you feeling today? You sounded more down than yest earlier. Completely understandable if you are.

Work was ok, although very tiring. My boss wants to have a meeting next week about what i want to do about maternity leave etc. i dont know what i want to do. Im a bit scared about the meeting, as i dont want to give up my job, but i dont actually have a contract as it is a tiny firm & she is a family friend. i dont think she would get rid of me, but maternity pay is a big expense for a small firm.

We then visited MIL, who has bought more stuff. Baby grows, a blanket & something else. She is saving the blanket & other thing to give us next time. Maybe that will stop her buying more (yeah, right!!) She said say if you don't like the "love your bump" top as it can go back, so I said I didn't. She didn't seem to mind. The baby wipes have arrived & it was actually 48 packs she bought!!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I went to my brothers house and had a few tears in my eyes but i was fine and when i held and played with my nephew i felt amazing. I thought a baby would make me feel worse but i just love children so much, they really help me! I got to see his little outfit he is wearing on Sunday. I do feel a bit jealous that they had a baby so quick an easily and we were TTC before they even got engaged but i love them so im happy for them as well of course.
I went shopping and bought a christening card. The shop had loads of 'its a girl' cards and balloons which i couldnt help noticing. I cant find a good christening present yet! I tried on loads of dresses but i looked a bit pregnant in most of them so didn't buy any except a nice black dress from Topshop for only £5! What a bargin, i couldn't resist, it was orginially £65! But i don't think i want to wear it on Sunday. I will need another shopping trip tomorrow afternoon.
I don't like shopping as you see so many crying bored children and stressed out parents shouting at them. I remember Christmas shopping whilst TTC and i was nearly in tears with the amount of parents swearing at their children. I feel like saying something to them but they would probably punch me lol and im not one for confronting people or speaking up really. Some people are just bad parents and take their children for granted.

I do feel a bit down today, but im not too bad. I can still laugh and joke and think positively about the future. I do think im a strong person.

As if your MIL asked about the "love your bump" top! She must of been reading this forum lol. I wouldn't of dared say i didnt like it...well done for being honest. And she order 48 packets lol. She is very excited! Have u seen that Asda advert with all the packets of wipes yet?

I understand a small firm wouldnt want to pay mat leave. Thats one reason why i couldnt employ anyone. If its a family friends firm, they will want to do their best by you. Im sure all will be fine. How long do u want off? When do u want your mat leave to begin? If u left the job, can u cope on your DH's wage alone?

xxx


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## Pansy

I'm really glad your nephew made you feel better. That's what I love about kids - no matter how rubbish you feel on the inside, you always have to be happy when you are with them & forget how you're feeling. I loved that when I was volunteering as a TA.

Your dress sounds like a great bargain! Hope you manage to find a dress for tomorrow today. We're going shopping this afternoon too. My DH wants some new clothes - he likes clothes shopping more than me! No matter what he goes shopping for, he always buys some more jeans! He's obsessed with them! He must have about 20 pairs. I only have 3 that fit! I might look for some clothes as my work tops are getting a bit tight across my boobs, although I won't know what size/type to buy.

I know what you mean about parents shouting at kids being upsetting. I hate seeing it when I go shopping in Asda. I wouldn't say anything either, I'm too much of a wuss. Every time I saw someone with kids I used to think "how did you do that?" when I couldn't get pregnant. It comes so easy to soe people & then they not appreciate what they have got at all.

I had to be honest with my MIL. Because she loves shopping, if I said I liked it, she would have bought 20 more! Internet shopping is her entertainment as she is very disabled & can barely get out of her chair. I shouldn't begrudge her buying stuff for baby, but I do wish she'd chill. We had to tell her we didn't like another thing she & my SIL had picked out, a sort of carry cot that rocked by battery. Luckily DH told her that. It was £90 & we didn't think we'd need it. DH says we need her to know what we like, so she doesn't waste money on useless stuff.

I don't have a clue how long I want off or when I want maternity leave to start, this is the problem! Because we work with private schools mainly, the office is very quiet in July & August. I'm thinking this would be a good time to train someone else & to leave, before September, when it becomes manic again. I don't know when I'll be too big to work. I'll be 34 weeks at the end of Aug. I only started the Assistant part if my job a year ago & I love it, so wouldn't want to leave. As its part time, it coukd fit in with baby, if I can find someone to look after them. I think I want at least the usual 6 months tho. I don't think I would earn enough to make it worth paying for childcare. I will have to investigate it all.

Good luck with your shopping! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Hope u have had a good day shopping! I hope your DH didn't buy anymore jeans lol. My DH has about 20 pairs of jeans too but only actually wear a few of them. I only have about 3 pairs I like. 
I went shopping after work and bought a dress in New Look. It's pale pink and really nice. 
I was so hungry when i was finished that i made a terrible mistake and bought a KFC. It was horrible! They only do fizzy drinks so i got a Fanta but thought thats ok I just wont drink it or give it to DH later. But i remember KFC chips being chunky and nice and salty but they were skinny like mcdonalds chips but cold and just boring. The chicken smelt werid like it had gone off so i didnt eat that! Terrible food.....yuck! lol

Ive been so busy today that i havent thought much about the baby, expect a mother at dancing told me she was pregnant! Nightmare lol.

Anyway, im going to tidy the house now and clean as i have a feeling that the inlaws might pop round tonight. I better clean up just in case! Wish i had a cleaner like u. How is it going with the cleaner?

xxxxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

I'm glad you found a nice dress for today. It's beautifully sunny here, I hope it is there too for your nephew. Are you a Godmother to anyone? I'm my nieces Godmother. I bought her a charm bracelet for her Christening present and each year on her birthday I buy her a charm for it. This year I've bought her a little fairy as she's having a fairy themed party. I also bought her a charm when she was my flower girl. What did you buy for your nephew in the end?

Did your PIL call in? My parents turned up unexpectedly while we were eating tea. They never come round without calling, so it was nice to have the surprise. 

DH didn't buy some jeans but I did lol! I found I couldn't do up my loosest jeans yesterday, so decided to get some maternity jeans. I also bought some sensible flat shoes for work. DH didn't buy anything actually, oops!

Good luck for today. I hope you are able to find some enjoyment at the Christening & don't find it too hard. I will be thinking of you for later as well, I hope it's not too traumatic. As horrible as it is, it's a step you have to take towards being able to conceiving a healthy baby. That probably isn't any consultation today, but maybe it will be one day.

Sending you lots of hugs. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

I agree these are steps i need to go through to eventually get a healthy baby. I feel like ive taken a billion steps already whilst ttc etc. Why do some people get pregnant so easily!! 

Im not god mother today but i am god mother to my niece and a little girl of a friend. I couldnt decide what to buy my nephew. Some typical Christening gifts are quite boring and never get used. Last time i was at my brothees house they were wanting to buy a puppet for my nephew lol. So i buy a few puppets! Strange gift but i know they will get used and be fun!! 
The inlaws didnt call round. We watched BGT, had an indian take away and then went to bed. 
Im glad u got some new jeans! They should last u now . Might go nice with your "love your bump" top  lol 

I hope its another sunny day today. I love the fact that the weathers getting better. Makes me feel so much happier.
Have u started doing anything like sorting out the babys room yet? I was doing that in my head. We plan to decorate upstairs then we are a step closer when we get another bfp. 
Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

How are u?

The Christening was nice and i managed ok. But when we were sat in church my little niece who is only 4 asked "were u going to have a baby?" And i was trying to be strong so i replied "yes i was" and she asked "what happened to it?" To which i just started crying :-(. But i dont think anyone else could tell. 
Then afterwards we went to hospital. It took a long discussion with a doc before i took the tablet as it felt wrong. We were scared incase this was a mistake and we felt so guilty. It was horrible. DH was fighting back tears as well. 

What have u been up to? X


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## Pansy

Hello!

How did yesterday go? Was the Christening ok? How was your trip to the hospital? How are you feeling today? I hope things are as well as they can be.

We took advantage of the free entry weekend at the National Trust & went to Stourhead, where there's a beautiful lake. We met up with my uncle, aunt, cousin & his pregnant wife, so that was lovely. I walked further than I have for ages, so things must be improving. 

Your plan of working on the nursery sounds positive & a good way to feel like yoiure doing something. We have given the nursery some thought. We saw some beautiful bedding when we were at the baby shop on Sat, so we'd like to buy that, but will wait till baby's born sp we can choose the right one. We like Nojo Beautiful Butterfly (https://www.nojo.com/nojo_beautiful_butterfly.htm) or Ahoy Mate (https://www.nojo.com/nojo_ahoy.htm). Our house is a new build & is all magnolia, so we're just going to decorate with pictures, stickers & curtains, rather than actually painting yet. If I was painting, I'd probably just paint it yellow, and that seems too similar to magnolia to bother! We already have 2 chest of drawers from ikea that baby can have, we'd like to get the matching baby wardrobe, but ikea don't do it anymore, so we'll have to wait til it's on eBay near here. In my dream, the nursery furniture would be all white, but we have to be practical & make do with what we have got. 

What did you decide about your classes today? Will DH be on standby in case you need him?

xxx


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## Pansy

Just seen your message. Poor you, it sounds horrible. I can understand it feeling wrong. So hard to actually take the pill, but you have to trust that the doctors know what they are talking about. How do you feel now?

Sorry to hear about you being upset at the Christening too. You can trust 4 year olds to come up with such innocent questions, Glad you managed with most of it ok. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Our old 3 bed house is a new build and was all magnolia. We still own the house but rent it off. We did do a bit of wallpapering one wall etc..in a few rooms there.

Our new 4 bed house was built in 1971 and had funky old fashioned wall paper all over. Now we want magnolia!! We havent done any decorating upstairs so need to do all the bedrooms and DH really wants us to move into the back bedroom as it overlooks the garden. We also dont have a bath!! Id love a bath but the bathroom is really modern so its a shame to change it when it was the best part of the house. In our old house we had a bathroom each! So we lost out there but we wanted to move location. 
Also we are on a corner and have a large strip of land at the side of the house which we own but its outside of our garden fence. When i cut the grass i have to go out in the street to cut that part! We want to get planning permission to move our fence out and eventually build on the side of the house to get an en-suite and bigger rooms. So we have plenty to be doing 

Im feeling ok today thanks. Nothings happened yet from taking the tablet.

Im glad u had a nice walk and chose some baby bedding. How cute! Cant wait to find out if you have a boy or girl 

Xxx


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## Pansy

We've always lived in magnolia houses & have never decorated. Our flat was a new build too. I'd like to put wallpaper on a feature wall in our bedroom, but DH says that we'd never get the plaster as smooth again, so wants it like it is. I will have to satisfy myself with patterned curtains. We have pics up everywhere too.

When we were looking to buy ths house we were considering places to do up & add to. This was the only new build we saw (it's a one off, not on an estate). I'm glad we went for this one, as I don't think we'd have been very good at doing up hoses. I'm not much help, even when I'm not pregnant. When I was 21 I developed ME or chronic fatigue syndrome as its also called. Have you heard of it? It means you feel like you have flu all the time & are exhausted & achey constantly. For several years I was basically housebound. When I met DH I could only go out if I was in a wheelchair. A lot of our early dates involved lying on a bed together watching tv! I have been gradually getting better & when we went on honeymoon it was the first holiday I had been on without my wheelchair. Now I can walk fine, but I get more tired than a normal person & have to be careful. DH has never known me at full health. He is so understanding, helpful & generally a complete star. He does far more than he should have to around the house considering he works full time. (The ME is why I only work part time) He looked after his mum growing up & he is incredibly understanding. I don't think I could have been with anyone else. I'm so lucky to have found him.

I dont normally tell people about my ME now, as I don't like being judged by it. Also, because I'm almost better, I don't want people who haven't seen me at my worst to think this is all ME is. It gets enough stigma as it is. People wouldn't guess there was anything wrong with me if they see me out, it only affects how much energy I have left when I am at home. People don't know how much help DH gives me. I always thought I would have children at 28, but it was only last year that I felt well enough to try.

Your house plans sound really good. What do you use the spare rooms for at the moment? One of ours is the computer/guest room & the other recently became my sewing room. Thats the one baby will have. It also full of books that will need re homing!

Hope you're still feeling ok & not too nervous about tomorrow. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thanks for telling me about your MS. I understand that it is hard to tell people what you have been through and it sounds tough. You obviously have an amazing DH to have understood your situation when you first met. Many people are far to vain to understand. It must of been difficult to have needed a wheelchair. One of my DH's friends has MS but i have never seen him in too much discomfort, he must be recovering like u or just not affected as much. He is about 55 so it may have been more of a problem at some point in his life. I understand feeling exhausted and fatigued as my brother has a condition where he feels like that all the time. He can't do much without needing to rest and can't work full time anymore now. My DH has an immune system disorder and when he gets poorly in anyway e.g a cold or a cut, his immune system starts attacking his kidneys. His kidneys could fail eventually but it doesn't affect him much day to day at the moment. 
Im glad you have got a cleaner, now you are pregnant you need to look after yourself even more. 

We have our bedroom, two guest bedrooms - one with single bed and one with a double bed. The other room is like an office with computer and desk. Our short-term plan is to turn one of the rooms into a playroom for our child/children until we eventually build on and have a playroom downstairs. We can't even think about building until 2016. 
Our real dream would be to build our own home. Im quite good at helping DH do DIY. I might be little but im quite strong lol.

Im getting scared about tomorrow now. But when i think about having children in the future then i get excited lol. Hopefully i will have healthy children in my future.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Im so scared this morning. Ive got light period cramps now and light pink on toilet paper :-( thats so sad. I also feel really sick. 
Hope your ok xxx


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## Pansy

Poor you. Even though its meant to be happening, I'm so sorry it is actually happening, if you know what I mean. When do you go to the hospital? Stay as brave as you can, you will have DH by your side to support you, it will all be over by this time tomorrow, and then you can get on with the next step. Hopefully it will be your last trip to hospital for a while. 

Best of luck, I will be thinking of you & sending you positive vibes & hugs. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thanks. We went to hospital at 8.30am. Just had 4 tablets put inside me and now need to wait......
Xxx


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## Pansy

How's everything going now? xxx


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## kiki04

:hugs:


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## MrsBroodyPant

Its all over now. Baby was born at 9.14pm. I will update with the full story tomorrow.

So tired..zzzzzz

Xxx


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## Pansy

Gosh, what a long ordeal for you. I hope you were able to come home & sleep in your own bed? Hope you managed to get a goid nights sleep and are feeling as ok as you can today. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Yes we went home to sleep in our own bed. Had a good sleep and now ive woken, it feels as if i dreamt yesterday and it didnt really happen.

X


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## Pansy

In a bad way, as in you still feel like you're pregnant or in a good way, like you've forgotten the trauma?

Do you have to rest today? Has DH got day off? Are you sore? I don't know anything about this so can only imagine what you went through. Did they say anything about how long to wait before you can try again?

xxx


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## kiki04

Oh Broody :( My heart is just broken for you ::cry: When I lost my little girl, I made some truly amazing friendships in the second trimester losses group. I have them all on FB and we talk daily... and that was 2 years ago. Just remember there is no such thing as 'normal' when it comes to grieving your child. Whatever feels ok to you, then that's what you do. If you feel the need to have support groups, websites, etc etc etc let me know as I know a ton. 

:hugs: :hugs:


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u ladies.

23rd April 2013
Arrived at hospital by 8.30am we waited in our room to see the midwife. The room was cosy with a big sofa and en-suite. Midwife came at 9.45 and i got changed in a hospital gown with some crazy disposable pants and a massive pad. 10.15am she put 4 small square tablets inside me and this would be repeated every 3 hours until baby comes. It was uncomfortable getting them put in then i had to lay still for 30mins so they wouldnt fall out. I got a canular put into my wrist incase i bled badly and needed blood quickly - everyone gets this so its prepared. I got light period cramps and took paracetamol but it didnt help. The pain got stronger but i could cope ok and i took 2 codine tablets but they didnt help either. 1.15pm i had more tablets put inside. These can give u the runs and i suddenly felt desperate for the toilet but couldnt go coz i needed to lay down for the 30mins first. That part was difficult as i thought i was going to go to the toilet any second and i was having very strong contractions coming every minute. Once the 30mins was up i went straight on the toilet. Afterwards i started being sick loads. This was the hardest point! I then had an injection in my leg for pain relife and anti-sickness. I also took 2 tablets to stop the runs. This injection was amazing!!! The pain went and i was no longer sick or needing the toilet. I felt dizzy and high! I really enjoyed this part! It felt amazing and i was telling DH how much i love him non stop .
4.15pm more tablets put inside. Still no pains! 7.15pm more tablets put inside. Then i asked how long the injection i had would last as i wasnt experiencing any contractions. Midwife said it would of worn off ages ago! I went for a wee and saw something hanging out! Thought it was the baby. Midwife examined me on the bed and it was the placenta. She felt inside and said u will need to push the baby out. I wasnt in any pain at all. The leg injection had worked long enough for the baby and placenta to come away and now it was just sat waiting to be delivered. I had a sheet over me so i couldnt see anything. I did about 10 big long pushes and the baby was born 9.14pm. I got an injection in my leg which everyone gets to help the cervix close back up. Midwife took baby away and i started crying.
Midwife came back and said she looked at baby and its got abnormalities. It has a cyst on its side and the back of its head was open and hadnt forms properly (this will be what was seen on the 2nd scan we had) just goes to show how US are not very clear. Anyway, i wasnt sure if i wanted to see the baby but DH did. He went into another room to view baby and came back to tell me about her. He described her to me and said he thinks i should see her. I wasnt sure. DH showed me pics on google images of fetuses (not ours) that look like ours to prepare me. I decided to see the baby and midwife put a hat on her so i couldnt see the abnormality. She was tiny - same size as my hand from head to toes. She was in a white sleeping bag that u could untie to view more. It wasnt scary and we spent sometime with her. Afterwards she was taken away and i had a bath. Before we went home we got some of her foot prints and a memory box that was given to the hospital by another couple who had lost their baby in 2011. We are going to make a memory box to leave at hospital for another couple. It was a lovely idea. 

Thats most of the story! I prob missed bits out...but hope u get the basic picture.


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## Pansy

Reading that was heart-breaking. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I don't really know what else to say. 

The memory box sounds a lovely idea & it's good you're oing to continue that. 

How are you feeling now? Has your family gathered round to support you or has it just been you and DH together? I hope you're getting all the support you need. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thanks.

My mum came round yesterday afternoon and then DH parents on the evening. It was nice to see family. Ive also had to send texts to friends who i havent seen for a while to say ive lost the baby. Im not going to fully explain to everyone as its complicated and some may not understand.

Do im bleeding now and its fairly heavy. Looking forward to that stopping so i can keep moving on. Back to ttc! 

How are u? If u have any questions about it then i will answer. 

Xxx


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## Pansy

How have you done today? Are you sore as well as bleeding? Do you need to rest? I have no idea how you are meant to be after it all.

I'm ok thanks. 5 days without being sick again. That's equalled my previous record! I'm hoping to beat it tomorrow! I had a very long day at work today, longer than I wanted to considering I have to do overtime tomorrow again. Plus I've got my meeting about my maternity leave tomorrow. I've found out that my boss will get 3% on top of my maternity pay refunded by the state, so I don't feel so bad about getting maternity pay now. I thought it was all just going to come out of her profits! I think I've got my head around what I'm going to say now, so that's good.

My DH has been working very long days this week, from 2pm til 3am at the earliest! Hes also been painting the new gate & other diy. He's going to be so tired at the weekend! He can have a lie in on Sat as I'm going to a stitch & craft show with a couple of friends in the morning. I think it's best I just leave him to it. Trouble is, I don't see him much on weeks when he works nights - I don't see him on the days I go to work, I just sleep next to him. I so wouldn't be good at being one of these wives whose husband goes away to work all week - I miss him when it's just weeks like this! My friend's OH works on a submarine & goes to sea for months at a time - he can't even contact her. I'd hate that. She doesn't seem to mind too much tho.

Hope you're doing ok.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I wouldnt like my DH to work away either. I know the pay is usually good but its not worth it. Id much rather be poor and happy. I love having my DH with me. He has been so strong through all this and when i was in labour he was amazing support. He couldnt be any better. Im very lucky like u are. We have married lovely DH's.

Im not sore. Just bleeding but not too heavy. I went to work tonight but just set the children tasks etc and didnt dance myself. Feels strange at wotk that no body knows i was even pregnant and i gave birth less than 48 hours ago and im back at work! Seems crazy to me. But im doing ok physically. Im feeling sad today. Didnt want to get out of bed but DH got me up and i felt better. Been down most of today though. Im making plans to keep busy over next few days. I cant just sit feeling sorry for myself. I need to pick myself up and move forward.

I hope u beat your sickless record tomorrow!! best of luck Xxx


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## Pansy

Sorry to hear you're feeling down. On top of everything you've been through, your hormones must now be all over the place too, which won't help. I'm glad you're trying to keep busy. What plans have you made? Are you still thinking of going away soon?

I've made it to 6 days! Hurrah!

Is Hollie being any comfort to you? My neighbours cat has come round early today & I've just spent the last 20mins tickling his tummy! He's such a time waster, but v de-stressing!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning!

Looks a lovely sunny day. Today im going round my brothers house and we are taking Hollie and his dog for a walk together. Then later today my friend is coming round for a catch up. 

When i woke up i thought it was all a dream again! It is such a bad experience that it seems i must of dreamt it because it cant of happened to me - if u know what i mean. Not that i still think im pregnant but feels like i was never pregnant and dreamt the whole pregnancy lol. Dont worry im not going mad really!!

Your next doors cat sounds cute. Well done with the ms! When is your 16 week midwife appointment? Have u been and ive been to wrapped up in myself to notice? Xxx


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## Pansy

It's completely understandable, I don't think you're going mad at all. The whole pregnacy must seem like weird blip, with not believing it and then this horrible ending. I wonder if your body knew on some level that things weren't right & that's why you didn't believe? Hopefully next time it will all be a completely different experience. 

It's beautifully sunny here too. DH has been out buying lots of new plants so our garden is looking very pretty at the mo. Because its a new build, there aren't any established plants, but we're slowly putting them in. But we get tempted by the annuals at the gardn centre that add instant colour, so end up spending all our money on them instead!

My midwife appointment is on Monday - it's at 17 weeks cos my due date got moved. I would have mentioned it if it had been this week, I hope that would have been ok. I would have understood if youd ignored it too. I have my 20 week scan in 3 weeks yesterday, when I'll be 19 weeks 4 days (or 18 weeks 5 dats according to my dates - hope they don't decide that's too early!). Apart from the heartbeat, I'm not sure what this appointment is for, but it will be good to see midwife again, not just ring her in a sickness panic!!

Hope you enjoy your walk & catching up with your friend. Is this a close friend who you've been able to explain it all to? 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Our walk was nice thanks. It started hail stoning when we got back home! Strange weather! Its sunny again now.
Yes its a close friend who i can explain it all to. Talking about it is helping.

Yes keep telling me about appointments etc. I dont mind. I want u to have a good pregnancy experience and feel u can still share it with me. Hearing the heart beat will be good! Thats exciting! 

Xxx


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## Pansy

We've had hail here too. It was sunny blue skies out of one window, hail out of the other! V odd!

I'm glad you enjoyed your walk & are finding that talking helps. Are you working again this evening?

My meeting about my leave went well, my boss seems happy with it all & understanding that things may change. I now have to write the ad for my replacement & help to interview them, so that will be fun. I've never done that before. I just need to work out what it is I do so I can make a job specification!!

What are your plans for the weekend? I'm going to the craft show tomorrow, but apart from that don't have any plans. Oh, apparently I'm watching some film on DVD that DH has chosen tmr eve - joy!! I expect we'll also be doing some more ikea doors at some point - that job for MIL is never ending!

Hope you have a good weekend. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

U will have to make your job sound hard so they know how valuable u are and maybe pick someone who cant do the job as well as u so u are irreplaceable! Lol.

Im at work tomorrow then got the SIL round tomorrow night. Then seeing friends on sunday daytime and other friends sunday evening. That will keep me busy!

Ive explained the whole pregnancy story to my friend tonight & talking really does help. I feel so much better now.

Hope u enjoy your wkend and have a nice sleep when the films on lol. Get the sofa bed out!! 

Hopefully a sickness free wkend for u xxx


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## Pansy

That's what my DH said too, make sure you don't chose someone as good as you, lol! Thing is, one of the other 3 employees is 63 so will be retiring soon, so if the person is great, they can replace them, not me. That's my hope, anyway!

I'm so glad talking to your friend has helped you feel better. Hope your busy weekend helps too.

I've managed 7 days now, a whole week! V pleased (but not counting my chickens yet). If I could get rid of the nausea too it would be a bonus, but a week off from being sick has been good.

I still feel anxious going out with other people in case I am sick - v silly really. I've said I'll drive myself to meet up with my friends today as I feel car sick nowadays. I also want an escape route in case I need to leave early. I will be taking lunch with me & plenty of drink in case they don't have anything suitable there. I hope my friends don't think I'm too odd. One of them has 3 gils & had HG with all 3, so she should understand. Hopefully it will all be fine & then I won't be scared of going out anymore!

Hope you have a good day at work & enjoy seeing your SIL tonight. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Im sure u will be fine today. I think worry about what 'might' happen is worse than what could actually happen. As long as your friends know your pregnant then u will be fine. 
Hope u are having a nice day!

Ive finished work. Feeling tired now. I really cant be bothered with ttc again but i want a bfp more than anything! I really miss being pregnant. It was such a happy time with a future to look fwd to. Now i feel lost. My DH is so good at cheering me up and staying positive. I dont know what id do without him xxx


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## Pansy

I can completely understand you feeling like you can't be bothered with TTC. It can be so frustrating cos it's all out of your control really, & involves a lot of waiting around. You're bound to miss the certainty (well sort of certainty, ability to plan at least) of being pregnant. But TTC won't seem as bad this time, cos you know it can happen. Thinking "is it even possible" must've made TTC harder, it certainly did for me. And people say once your body has been pregnant recently, it's more primed to get pregnant again, so maybe it won't take too long. And you get the excitement of getting a BFP again. Plus you can drink coffee & not worry about what you eat. You have more time to decorate beforehand, cos maybe next time you won't be able to stand the smell of paint like I can't. There must be a reason why now wasn't quite the right time, and next time will be the perfect time, you just won't know it yet. 

I'm glad DH is helping you feel better. You are allowed time to grieve too if that's what you need. You'll know what's right for you. Just keep on getting through each day as best you can & the rest will take care of itself.

I was fine yesterday, you were right. I was worrying over nothing. I felt completely exhausted from walking about & my hands & feet swelled a bit, but I didn't feel too sick. I bought a few nice bits & bobs so it was worth it.

Hope you have a good day with your friends. I think we're doing ikea stuff. The film last night was Jack Reacher with Tom Cruise. It wasn't too bad, not te worst I've been forced to watch! The neighbours cat certainly enjoys film nights. He came round as the film was starting & spent the whole time curled up asleep under the blanket on the bed! He looked very happy!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Ive never seen that film but glad it wasnt too bad lol. Its amazing that next doors cat spends that much time with u! And even gets in bed with u! 

We have just had some of our friends round. It was lovely to see them. We all had tears and they are so nice. She said that out of all our group of friends she knows having children means the most to me! So nice of her to say that. Ive always been the one who is good with children and works with them and loves children so much. Its nice when some else reconizes that. 

Have u still not had sex yet? Soon i will be having loads again lol. Im going to have to buy new underwear to spice it up a bit! 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

Glad you had a good time with your friends. Were the ones who came round in the evening equally supportive? We managed to get the ikea stuff done - hurrah! I saw my little niece too who kept asking if my boob was where baby was - I know they've grown but...! MIL didn't pass on anything else for baby, so that was good. DH's aunt had left a card & toy for baby, which was sweet. Baby has had so many presents already! 

We went round to my parents for tea & they said they've booked our favourite cottage in Boscastle, Cornwall for a week in June & we're invited to go with them! So we'll spend a long weekend with them! I'm so excited! We've been to this cottage with my parents, my little brother & Tal the dog almost every year since 2006. We last went April 2012 for mums birthday. It's a 3 storey former captains house & we get the top floor where there's a bedroom & our own bathroom. (The first time we went, we'd been going out for 18months but weren't living together & my dad felt uncomfortable with us sharing a room! But mum convinced him). The house is right by the river that goes to the harbour, on the costal path & 2 mins walk from lovely little gift shops & pubs. We all love it there. Tal gets very excited when he realises where he is. He always goes sniffing round a spot where one year he found the remains of a pasty! He still expects it to be there!! 

Did the drs say you could try this cycle or will you have to wait til the next? Will you be checking for ovulation this month? Are you going to temp? We still haven't DTD since baby was conceived! I'm a bit scared now. We tried once & it hurt so I don't really want to try again. DH says he's happy with what we're doing, so I'm lucky he's not putting pressure in me. 

Off to see midwife at 3:30 today - feeling a mixture of excitement & worry! Hope I can find the sample pot to pee in!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Good luck at midwife appointment. Let me know how it all goes and what happens. 
Thats lovely that u are going away with your parents. Sounds like a nice place. Just imagine when u have the baby with u too! Will be lovely.

Im glad u got the ikea job finished! We still have lots of work to do at my mums house. We havent done anything in April while all this has been happening! Going to commence work there again soon. 

The friends who came round last night are supportive too. She is due in June! That will be difficult for me but DH always reminds me that i need to focus on us and not what other people are doing. Im very happy for them, just sad for us.
No body told me how long to wait until ttc. My bleeding is getting a lot lighter now so im hoping it stops soon. Then we will start having sex but i dont have much hope of getting bfp coz i need clomid. Ive still got some clomid, so will take that when i get my next real period and ttc like crazy lol. Im planning on temping again from 1st May so i can see whats happening and it will make me feel like im preparing and doing something towards ttc. I hope i can get a bfp by October!!

Xxx


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## Pansy

Just a quick message to let you know that midwife appointment went well. We heard the heartbeat & my urine tests and BP were fine. The midwife took ages finding the heartbeat (well it felt like ages, was probably really a minute!!) & both DH & I were getting worried, but then we heard it clearly. She'd told us before that even if she couldn't find a heartbeat, we'd still have to wait for 20 week scan, she wouldn't have looked again or anything, so that would have been awful. But all was good. And I got my Bounty pack at last lol!

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Aww im so glad u got to hear the heartbeat. It would of been such a worry if she couldnt find it. Even though baby could be perfectly fine, u would of worried like crazy. Im glad all is well. Im very happy for u and your DH. 

Ive felt more positive today. Ive felt happier. Its been a week since the baby was born so im pleased that the time is passing quite quickly. The soon my real AF comes the sooner i can get another BFP

Xxx


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## Pansy

Yes, that week has gone quickly. I wonder how long it will take for AF to arrive? Will it be a usual cycle length? How long are your cycles usually? Don't put too much pressure on yourself to get a BFP before oct, will you? It's ages away, so you've got a really good chance, but putting pressure on yourself doesn't help does it? I really wanted a BFP by Christmas & I was so upset when I got my AF before Christmas. I spent days crying. I was even crying in a cafe with my mum in front of everyone! V embarassing! I felt like giving up but then booked my fertility testing & 2 cycles later baby was made.

It's lovely and sunny here again today. It was nice yesterday. I spent the day sewing quilt for baby from kit I bought at show on Sat. I've got loads more to do, but I loved using my sewing machine again - it felt like an old friend lol! I haven't be enable to use it while feeling so sick.

Have you heard what happened to the mum from your classes who your saw crying in the maternity department? Did she have bad news?

Are you working today? I really can't remember what I'm meant to be doing at work today! I usually have an idea what I will face when I get there, but not today! Oops!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

The lady from dancing still brings her child but we havent spoke about it. I expect her baby will be ok but i dont know. 
My cycles are usually irregular and quite long - maybe 35 days or more! I expect to be waiting for AF for ages! When i took clomid my cycle was 29 days which was amazing for me! 
Id love a bfp by Oct or Christmas and so would DH. Dont worry if i dont. Im very used to that disappointment! I used to cry when AF came too. Ive given myself a goal of being pregnant by Christmas since 2011. I hate getting the tree out and not being pregnant. I obviously thought this year would be different but nevermind. I like to give myself goals but i can always move them lol.
Is it your birthday in June? What date? Mine is 3rd and DH is 10th. We know so many people with their birthday in June its a crazy month of eating too much cake lol.

Well done with starting a quilt. It sounds great. U could upload a pic when you are finished 
Hopefully u work out what to do at work today! Im having a day off. 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Glad you're flexible with your targets! I think that's definitely a good plan. My cycle was 24 days, which I used to think was annoyingly frequent, but then when TTC I was v grateful! I hope the clomid shorten your proper cycle again. How many cycles were you on clomid before you conceived?

My birthday is 6th, so almost exactly between you and you DH lol! I share my bday with my aunt & 2 of my 2nd cousins share the 3rd. Do you and DH share the celebrations or do you each have your own? At least you both have to look for presents or each other at the same time. My DH hates this time of year as he has to buy an anniversary present for May (we buy little presents based on the traditional themes each year) & then my bday present! He says I'm really hard to buy for, as I never really want anything. I like surprises & I'm not the sort of person who always has a list of material things I would like. Do you have something you would like? This year I have actually requested something. There is this glass ornament I have wanted since I was 21 & I have dropped hints about it so many times. This year I have just shown him the website & said I'd like this please! I thought this will be last year I get a chance of getting it, as next year I expect money will only be spent on baby, so I might as well just ask for it. I think I might ask my parents if they'd like to buy me a spa treatment or afternoon tea or something. (I sound like I am materialistic! But the is first year I've had any ideas!)

Do you have time off for your bday? DH has taken the Thurs & Fri off, so we were thinking f going away, but now with Boscastle we might just go out on day trips. We've got our week off booked for end of month, so it might be too much going away for one month! 

Better go to work!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

For anniversaries we have been getting little presents that represent each year too, like paper, cotton etc.. and we usually go away for a night or so. For our birthdays we usually have a big BBQ in our garden with lots of family & friends. Last year we made it a Jubilee Garden Party and i hired a big bouncy castle! It was brilliant. Dont know what we will do this year. DH will still want the big BBQ but i dont feel like it yet...we will see. As for presents, we might buy each other a little something but i dont like spending our money lol. Sometimes we buy something foe the house & say thats joint for our birthdays, especially if its a lot of money. We usually spend more at Christmas.
My friends boy is 2 on 6th June. 

The first time i took clomid, we didnt dtd as DH was really ill with a bad neck. Thats when my cycle was 29 days. The second time i did clomid but the first time we actually had sex we got our BFP!! So clomid worked miracles for us 

Have a nice day xxx


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## Pansy

That's what we do, paper etc. It's leather this year. We got mixed up & did paper for 1 & cotton for 2, ie the American way. For 1 I got him (but also me!) an anniversary book where we put in a pic each year & write a little bit about what we've done for anniversary & during the year. It should be a good memory book one day. I also go him a map of where we live cos we moved in 5 days before the anniversary! For cotton I got him a tshirt from his favourite show (Game of Thrones) & made him a personalised washbag. I won't say what I'm doing for leather in case he reads this! What have you bought?

Work was ok, there wasn't anything hanging over from last week so that's why I couldn't remember lol! The lady who delivers our stationery arrived & told me she's pregnant & due on 8th Oct. She had a lovely bump, I had bump envy! Mine just looks like I'm a bit fat, whereas she had a clear bump. She was smaller framed than me so maybe she had less room to put baby.

How are you spending your day off? xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Maybe we are doing tour anniversaries the American way? We did paper 1st which we moved into out home 2 days afterwards so the house deeds etc.. count towards this! DH got me a paper list of all the anniversary materials so we could follow that each year, it is presented nicely. I wrote DH a poem. 
For our 2nd which was cotton, we bought new bedding and curtains for our bedroom. 
I don't know what we will do for leather? I havent got any ideas yet! Sounds a bit kinky lol. DH bought me a leather jacket for Christmas, that would of been a good gift!

Ive spent the morning with DH. Then we went to buy new dog bedding as Hollie had diarrhea all over hers last night! Id rather just throw it away and buy new than clean it...yuck! She still has a bad tummy now! 
DH has gone to work now. It is his day off but as he has had time off lately with what we were going through, he needs to catch up on things. Ive done letters for dancing and now (can't believe im admitting this) im watching Jeremy Kyle lol. I usually give it 2mins and turn it off but they aren't shouting too much today lol. 

It's my SIL's 40th Birthday soon. I really dont know what to buy her. Any ideas? 
xxx


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## Pansy

I hope poor Hollie is feeling better today?

That's tricky about your SIL cos I'm guessing it has to be something a bit more meaningful fir her 40th? How much do you want to spend? There are the usual things like jewellery, photo frame, spa treatments, cream tea at a nice hotel, a dressy scarf. Is she in to her garden/flowers at all? How about a rose bush? Then she'd think of her birthday each time it flowered. You can get ones with meaningful names. Hmmm, that's all my ideas for the moment....

Oh dear that you were watching Jeremy Kyle!! That programme makes me angry - I don't like watching all the people shouting at each other, I don't think they should be on tv! I don't think Jeremy Kyle sets a good example either when he shouts back, but I suppose they wouldn't listen if they didnt. 

We had a DIY disaster evening last night. My DH is wonderful in lots of ways, but DIY is not his strong point. We had an outside tap put in last year & when we tried it this year it didn't work. DH decided it was a valve, so he removed that (at force) fiddled with it & put it back (using even more force!). The tap worked but 30 mins later we found a huge puddle on the floor in the room where the tap goes out from & water gushing out of the pipes! Oops! After turning the water off, DH got a crow bar (it's always going to go well when he gets a crow bar!!) & started attacking the wood that encloses the pipes that make it look neat. After about 20mins of attacking it, I convinced him to check the leak wasn't somewhere visible. And funnily enough, yes it was! It just needed a bolt above the woodwork tightening! Luckily he hadn't had much success with attacking the wood, so it only looks a bit like he's bashed it! Oh dear!

Are you working today? I'm going to do some more of my quilt I think, after I've cleaned for the cleaner!! It look sunny again, hurrah!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

It looks a lovely day here too! Hollie is ok now thank u and enjoying her new bedding.

Oh no about your leek and crow barring! It actually sounds a funny story when u tell it but im sure it wasnt at the time. At least u have it fixed now, thanks to u  DIY genius! 
Thanks for the ideas fir SIL. I was thinking of sending a lovely bunch of flowers and getting her something special as well. I will look into getting a rose bush and i might look for jewellery for her. We will prob spend about £60 ish but i dont mind spending a bit more. They always spend lots on us, so im kind of forced into it! 

Im working in my shop today. Ive starting temping again as well and keeping track on FF. Back to all that!

How are u feeling today? It might not be long until u can feel the baby move. That will be exciting! Whats the date of your 20 week scan again? 

Xxx


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## Pansy

I'm feeling ok thanks. I've lost track of how many days its been since I was sick (about 10) so that must be a good sign, although I'm still taking it day by day. 

I think I may have felt baby move already, although I'm not 100% sure as its not very often. On Sat eve I had a curry that was slightly hotter than my usual korma (I don't really do spicey food & def haven't since being preg). Straight afterwards I felt a weird fluttery feeling below my tummy button, a bit like when underneath your eye twitches or spasms. I think either baby thought "what on earth is that mum?" or loved it & was having a party! I've felt it a few other times too, like when I've sat in a crunched up position. But not every day, so I'm not 100% sure, but it definitely feels different from usual feelings. The midwife found the top of my uterus on Mon & that's where I feel the movements, so it's convinced me a bit more. (Sometimes I sit crunched up deliberately for a minute to see if I can make him poke me, but it doesn't work!) I am looking forward to feeling it everyday & being more sure (although then I'll probably want baby to I've me a break!!)

My 20 week scan is 2 weeks tmr, the 16th May. 

Did I tell you my niece is having a fairy princess/pirate party for her 5th birthday? We got the invite on Sat & it said fancy dress optional, so I've decided I'm going to dress up as a fairy! It's mainly cos I want an excuse to wear my wedding tiara again! So I'm going to wear that, a skirt & top if I can find one in my wardrobe that still fits, my wedding shoes which have now been dyed purple for when I was a bridesmaid for my best friend & some fairy wings I've bought off eBay! I'm hoping I still have glittery makeup & nail varnish so I can be a bit sparkly. The party is in less than 2 weeks, so I wonder how big my bump will be. I wonder what the kids will make of a pregnant fairy! I might make a sparkly badge with a pic of a baby fairy on saying "baby fairy on board" so the adults don't just think I'm fat!! I hope I will have the nerve to go through with ths & won't look like a complete muppet! I'm trying to convince DH to dress a bit piratey so I won't be the only one!

As you can see, my cleaning is going well!! I'd better get on! Hope you have a goid day at the shop!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

The party sounds fun. Children love it when adults join in and dress up too. I love fancy dress. When i do parties at work i like to dress up because it makes the children laugh. I was planning on having a new years eve fancy dress party at home for family/friends as i thought i wouldnt want to go out and leave my baby. But now all thats changed but i might get to do it next year instead. 
Being a fairy will be fun. U need a wand too! 
I bet those feelings that u had are the baby. Ive heard people describe them similar to u. At first they are irregular and can easily be missed and when they get stronger u will be certain its baby.
Ive set up a thread in 'ttc after a loss' (never thought id end up in that forum). Its called 'bfp by oct' and ive found people who have also just lost babies who were due in oct. Just thought id let u know so u can look in from time to time. Dont want to cheat on u lol. 
Hope u have a nice day xxx


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## kiki04

BFP by October sounds nice for both of us :hugs:


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## Pansy

Morning!

Sunny again! Can't believe it! I haven't been watching the weather, so each time I wake up & it's sunny, it seems like a little miracle! So nice to see sun after so long!

I'm really glad you've found other people in the same position who can offer you support. I had a little peek yesterday - you've stopped bleeding! Yey! At least that didn't last too long.

I hadn't thought of a wand, I will have to get one, thank you! I've rethought my fairy on board badge as that would imply a girl baby (or be a bit harsh on a boy baby!). I have a tshirt I wore on honeymoon that says Mrs F####(suddenly thought I'd better not put surname on here as anyone can read!) in diamanté, I might wear that cos that's sort of sparkly. (That looks like I'm wearing a tshirt with a swear word on it - that would be slightly inappropriate!!)

Continuing the water disasters theme, I managed to throw my glass of water into my underwear drawer in the middle of the night! All of my underwear is now damp! I've no idea what I'm going to wear to work - maybe have to try to hair dry it!

Did you have a first dance song at your wedding? We took ages deciding & in the end went with one that no one knows but we liked the words of. It was When I look into your eyes by Firehouse (www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQSkuDWhaAo) Neither of us know how to do ballroom dancing, but we taught ourselves some steps from YouTube videos - I think it was a waltz so we did a few steps at the start & a twirl. I loved practicing in the weeks coming up to the wedding. I bet you didn't have any problems dancing! Did you have a disco in the eve? We had a barn dance, which everyone loved. I couldn't dance in my big wedding dress, so a few weeks before the wedding I bought a second cheap wedding dress, so I'd be able to enjoy the evening! (Kate Middleton copied me again - not only has she nicked my badge, but she had 2 wedding dresses too!)

I love reminiscing about the wedding - I'm thinking of it loads at the moment with the anniversary coming up! I love hearing about other people's weddings too.

Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Kiki04 come join the thread in 'ttc after a loss'. I hope u get a bfp before oct xxxx


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## Pansy

Oops, didnt realise I'd put the video there like that!


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi Catherine.

I didnt see your post earlier. We must of been typing at the same time as my last post is between yours.
I thought your top had a swear word on, lol that would of been a very unforunate surname! 
Our first dance song was 'amazed' by lone star. I didnt really want to do a first dance, as its my job. Why is it a first 'dance' if it was a first 'brick lay' then builders wouldnt want to do it or a first 'hair style' then hairdressers would find it boring.....do u know what i mean? Ha!  
We just did the usual sway together as i didnt want to dance and look like i was showing off.
We had a disco and casino on the evening. We had an ice-cream van there too which was brilliant! DH and i got to go inside and serve ice-creams! It was such a hot day as well.
I only had one wedding dress. Ive still got it. Have u kept yours? 
Your barn dance sounds fun. Id love that! 

Yes ive stopped bleeding but we had sex twice yesterday and i was bleeding a little after so maybe its a bit quick for sex. I dont know how long to wait.
Ive been meaning to tell u tgat over the last week i have received so many bouquets of flowers off friends/family. My house is full of flowers! Its so nice and thoughtful of people.

I hope u have a nice day in your wet underwear lol. 
Xxx


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## Pansy

Lol at the idea of a bride & groom laying a brick - I think they should do that! How cool that you had an ice cream van - we could have done with that too, it was so hot on our wedding day. I was convinced it would rain as it rained when DH proposed. We were on holiday at lake Garda & Venice for 2 weeks & had sun every day. On the last day we went round Venice & literally the moment DH showed me the ring, it started to tip it down! It was quite funny! Luckily I only took it as an omen fr the wedding day & not the whole marriage! But then on the day itself it was boiling & perfect blue skies. My bridesmaid even got burnt! My SIL now says it was too hot, but on the day everyone seemed v happy to be in the sun. I think it was perfect!

What colour scheme did you have? I had kingfisher blue. I had 2 adult bridesmaids & my niece who was just 2 as flower girl. I made all the stationery etc myself. They had blue paper flowers on them, the same shiney blue. My DH cut all the flowers out with a punch & I assembled them, sometimes with help from my little brother. My mum made the cake & we iced it together. I made sugarcraft roses, orchids & freesias to decorate it to match my bouquets. (White roses & freesia, bright pink/crimson orchids) When I look back on it now, I have no idea how I did it all!

That's lovely that so many people are sending you flowers! It must be lovely in your house. How kind of everyone. 

If you've only just stopped bleeding, it's probably quite a while before you ovulate isn't it? Or are you just DTD for fun - I'd forgotten people do that lol! What are your temps up to? Do you take them at exactly the same time? I was always a bit naughty & took them at the same time +/- 30mins! I don't sleep very soundly at the best of times (now I'm so uncomfortable I wake up every hour) so I could never guarantee the right number of sleeping hours before taking it. I still got pretty patterns tho.

Are you working today? I'm going to buy some wading for my quilt & do some more sewing. It has little owl pictures on 20 of the 40 patches, so I have to sew them all on by hand now. DH has invited his mum & my parents over for a meal tomorrow night, so I might do kore tidying. I'm still not keen on eating in front of people ESP in eve, so I'm not really looking forward to it. But I haven't been sick for nearly 2 weeks now! (Touch wood)

Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Your wedding sounds lovely. I like the colour scheme. You are very crafty to make all those things, especially the flowers on the cake. I made our invitations and DH made our thank u cards, thats as crafty as we got. I had two adult bridesmaids, they wore pewter dresses. My two nieces were flower girls in ivory and my two nephews were paige boys. All the men/boys had matching dark grey suits with pewter cravats. I had two of everything, with two best men and two ushers! It was like noras ark, everyone two by two! Lol
What day did u get married on? Ours was a Sunday so we had Sunday dinner as our main course meal. 
We got engaged at the Grand Canyon. We went to Las Vegas for DHs 30th. It was boiling hot! Funny that it rained when u got engaged. We went to a friends wedding where it thundered so loud in church! The vicar said "do u take this man.." then there was a massive clap of thunder! It was so funny as she is 29 and married a 51 year old so we all thought it was doomed anyway! Lol.

Im still spotting a little. I danced quite a lot last night and had more blood..opps! Maybe im doing too much too soon. We are dtd for fun but also just incase we get lucky but i need clomid for that anyway. My temps are middle ish. Not high like after o but not as low as normal. Todays was a little lower though! I take it at the same time each morning. 
Good luck with doing your quilt today. I know it will look lovely. 
Xxx


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## Pansy

Pewter is an unusual colour, I bet it looked beautiful. Very sophisticated! We had 3 ushers - my oldest brother & my 2 little nephews who we thought were too old to be Paige boys. We got married on a Saturday. I didn't realise you could get married on a Sun! We had a 3 course meal with 3 choices for each course. I wrote everyone's choice on their name card which made the caterer very happy - I knew so done would forget what they had ordered! We had our reception in a really bright & airy village hall & had caterers in.

Were you expecting the proposal? The Grand Canyon is an exciting place to get engaged! I had been dropping hints for a few months. He had even taken me looking in jewellery shop windows 3 months before to see what type of ring I liked! 

Oh dear that dancing made you spot. Don't over do it. I suppose it's more like a wound than a normal period, so will spot for a while.

I'm back to day one on my sickness free days count :-(. I counted the days & it is 13 days I have to beat now. Oh well, gives me a new challenge! Annoyingly it was in middle of eating my tea which I was really enjoying, so now I'm going to be even more anxious about eating tonight. Hopefully it was just a once off (I really wasn't this scared of food before I got pregnant!)

I sewed on 10 of the 20 owls yesterday. It takes an hour to do 5, so this is definitely a labour of love! I went to a quilting shop to buy wading & they told me what to do next, as the instructions aren't clear. The last thing I'll have to dois sew round all of it by hand, so that will take forever! It will be worth it.

What are you up to today? It's raining this morning! DH doesn't get bank holidays off so I forget it is a bank hol. Is your DH working? We'll be tidying when DH comes back from working at lunchtime & then picking up MIL at 3:30. My parents have the opposite feelings about buying things for baby to my MIL. I hope my mum stands up for herself (& me) & doesn't just agree that everything my MIL likes. We're trying to get her to not buy too much too early & don't believe babies need every little gadget out there. 

I'm holding iPad over my stomach so it's putting slight pressure on my abdomen & neighbours cat is leaning on me from my lap. Think baby feels a bit cramped cos he's kicking the cat! Lol! Cat can't feel it tho. Cat came round as soon as I got up as he was wet from the rain!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

So u are definately feeling the baby move? Thats amazing. I cant wait to feel that one day.

DH and i are working bank hol. Im working today as well. Im going out tonight for my friends birthday. I dont really want to go but it might help me to get out. We are going to watch a show and then im going home but everyone else is going into town. Im not into going out anymore. Musics too loud and u cant hear each other talking. I dont see the point lol. So both of us tonight will be pleased when we get things over with lol.
Your quilt sounds difficult to make but totally worth it.

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

How did your meal go? All good and no sickness i hope?

I had a good night with friends. It was a drag act show and its given me another business idea! I love new ideas to expand my business empire lol. 
I didnt drink and just drove home. I dont feel like drinking at all. 
The weather is supposed to be nice and hot this weekend! That will be good 
Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

Glad your night went well! Are you thinking of doing classes for drag queens then?? 

Our meal went ok. The parents were all well behaved & I enjoyed my small portion of the roast dinner. I even managed a small amount of strudel for pudding! My mum gave us an outfit for 3-6 month old that's clearly for a boy - not quite sure what she is on! She said we had a 50% chance of being right! (I so want to find out the gender next week. DH has stopped saying no when I ask. I'm wondering if just us could find out & not tell anyone else. I'm dreadful at keeping secrets tho! I'm sure once we found out it would seem like a disappointment that we didn't wait for the surprise, but I really want to know now!)

It's sunny again today here. Are you going out to enjoy it today? Do you get hayfever? I do & they say pollen will be really high at mo cos plants are late & are all releasing at same time. I'm only allowed to take a nose spray & eye drops, hope they work! No chance of enjoying the sun for us today though, DH wants to go to ikea! It's about 90 min car journey away. DH wants bookshelves or something. We might go to a few other shops while we are there. I'd rather be at home, out in the garden, but never mind.

Do you have classes tomorrow or are you working in your shop?

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Im thinking of setting up a drag act but i just need to find some men to dress up first lol. The show we saw wasnt that good so i think i could do a better job lol. Watch this space!
Its exciting that u can find out the gender next week! After what i went through its changed my opinion on finding out. If my pregnancy had continued then i would of wanted to know at 20 weeks. I think its nice to get to know as much about the baby as u can because time is so precious. My mum found out i was a girl and managed to tell my dad before he died. I just now realise how important that is. None of this really applies to u, so do what u and DH feels best. I might change my mind by the next time im expecting lol. 
Lovely and sunny here too! We are going on this daffodil walk with friends to a caffy. Then we might do gardening afterwards. DH has bought a new hedge trimmer and strimmer so i think he wants to use them!
Good luck at Ikea. Poor u having to go there in this nice weather. U will have to buy something too! Use the long car journey to decide if u will find out the gender!
Im teaching tomorrow night. 

Have a nice day xxx


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## Pansy

Morning! How are you? I'm so tired from all the shopping yesterday! We left at 9:30 & didn't get home til 6:30, which is the longest I've been out throughout the pregnancy. Because there was no traffic we got to ikea before it opened! It was fairly painless in there, I just let DH get on with buying what he wanted. We then had lunch, went to Mothercare, George at Asda, Mamas & Papas & Next looking for maternity clothes. I tried on lots of dresses but none of them allowed room for my boobs! I did get some thin summer trousers & one top. 

We then went to a big shopping centre & spent an hour playing with our top choice of travel system to make sure we still like it. We called in to Babies r Us & then ate out at Harvester. It's the first time I've managed to eat out since being preg. We chose Harvester cos I could eat the salad while waiting for the main course. (I find if I have to smell food but can't eat it, it all goes horribly wrong) It was very exciting to manage to eat out, even if it was in a Harvester! 

It was boiling hot in the car & beautifully sunny. I wanted to be at the beach, not shopping! But it wasn't too bad, at least we weren't arguing - ikea normally makes us argue - I think it's the confusing furniture & lack of natural light!

How was your walk? It sounded lovely. Did you take lots of photos? Are the daffodils still looking good? They've mostly finished here. Did you do some gardening? 

DH has been saying "maybe" every time I mention finding out the gender recently, but when I said yesterday we need to have a serious chat about this, he said we didn't need to cos we're definitely not going to. He was just humouring me. If he's a definite no & I'm undecided, I guess that means no. I will still give some more thought, to make sure I'm happy with it.

What are you doing before your dancing lesson? DH is working til 3. I think I'll do some work on my quilt if I stop feeling so achey. If not, I might just relax in the garden!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning. 

Another gorgeous day! 
U did have a long shop yesterday. Im glad u got some new clothes. And got to look in baby shops!
Our walk was lovely. The daffodils come out a little later than flowers in gardens but i dont know why. They were lovely. We then had sunday dinner in a pub where dogs are allowed. The portions were massive so the dogs got fed under the table too! We then went to another village for a second walk and ice-cream. I really enjoyed it. Then my brother and his family came round to our house and we played in the garden with my niece & nephew. We were too tired for gardening afterwards! Garden can wait until tomorrow.
Im at my mums today before work. Eating her food and enjoying her garden with Hollie.
I hope this weather stays nice
Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

Sounds like your Sunday was lovely! Hope you enjoyed the rest of the day at your mums. Looks like today is the last day of nice weather. I spent part of yesterday out in my comfy garden chair reading in the sun, which was lovely. When DH came home we went to town & bought an ice dream - yum! Today he wants to go out somewhere again when we come home from work, so that'll be nice.

Have you ever been to Kent? We're looking in to bring a cottage there for a week. There are lots of choices available, but we don't know where to go. I studied the Tudors for A level history so want to see Leeds & Hever Castle. We're thinking we might be able to go for a day trip to France & get a train into London. We've only ever driven through Kent on the way to France, so it'll all be new. I hope it is an interesting area!

How are you doing now? Has the spotting stopped? Do you have to go back for a checkup or anything?

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Your a sweet potato, i love sweet potato...yummy!

Im still spotting really really lightly. But yesterday i had a big clot, that was a shock as i havent been properly bleeding for a while now. We go back in 6-8weeks but havent got an appointment through yet.
Oh if this weather is going to end then we had better make the most of it. We are gardening today!
I dont remember if i have ever been to Kent. Not for a long time if i have. A cottage for a week sounds nice.
My boobs have gone all little and rubbish now :-( if i could take a bit of yours, that would be great lol.
Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Funny that we talked about my check up today - i have just got my appointment in the post. Thurs 27th June.
Id love to be pregnant by then but of course that wont happen. Cant wait to get my cycle sorted so i can start clomid again. I will be so happy when my real AF comes! 
Xxx


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## Pansy

How funny that you get your appointment date through today! It will be good to get the all clear then. 

You're welcome to some of my boobs, I seem to have plenty to spare at the moment! I'll warn you though, they're still quite tender! 

Hope your gardening is going well. I've just come back from doing a supermarket shop - the first one I have done on my own all year! I haven't even been able to go in them cos of the nausea, so it's a big achievement. When DH gets home in a min we're going to go out in te sun somewhere again. I can't believe it hot it is! Lovely!

It's 8 years today since I sent DH the first message on an Internet dating site! Can't believe he's been in my life for 8 years! Seems so long, yet feels like I've known him forever. I reread the message this morning - so cringey lol! Oh well, it worked!! He told me to send it to him today & he's going to reply & then we can compare it to what he originally wrote! Will be amusing! 

I love sweet potato too! Have you had tesco finest sweet potato lasagne? It's so nice! V confused about the size tho, they come in all sizes! Baby's meant to be 14.2cm.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

Yes the weather was really hot yesterday. We got lots of gardening done. Well done with your big food shop.

It will be 8 years in August since i met DH. If u messaged your DH first and i gave mine my number, then we both made the first move....go us!! Lol. I also feel like ive known my DH forever. I cant believe he is just someone i met! It feels like he has always been in my family. 
I havent had sweet potato lasagne before. I might have to try that! Sweet potatoes do come in lots of different sizes lol. Are u feeling baby kick now then? That must be amazing. 
Ive got a friend round today who i havent seen for ages but she knows whats happened and sent me flowers so i had to invite her over. I also need to go shopping for a little something else for SIL 40th. We have got her flowers if 40 roses that will be delivered on her birthday and a voucher for a meal for two at a big Hall near us - its a handpicked hotel. So i also want to buy her a little keepsake today. Spent a fortune lol.

What are u doing today? X


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## Pansy

How lovely that your SIL will get 40 roses! I'd love that! And the meal will be lovely too. I wonder what you'll get as the keepsake?

It's unusual we both made the first move! I don't think DH would have made contact if I hadn't. I only had 3 days free trial membership to the site, so I sent him my email address straight away. We then exchanged long emails for 3 weeks before we met, so it felt like we knew each other when we did meet. I met up with him 2 weeks in a row & then I had a relapse of my ME so couldn't get out of bed for 3 weeks. He sent me a text saying he thought I was worth waiting for, which was really cute!

I feel the baby pretty much every day now, although only about once a day & some days I don't feel anything. Yesterday I hadn't felt anything all day & then DH was teasing me about the size of my bump & sort of grabbed/tickled it & baby kicked back! I imagined he was saying "yes, Dad, what do you want?" DH couldn't feel it.

Our trip out yesterday turned into a trip to a new garden centre DH has discovered. We spent an hour there, with DH choosing loads of plants! I was far too hot (I'm never normally hot, I love the sun) & kept hiding in the shade. We then spent the evening planting them all - well, DH planted, I supervised/encouraged!!

I've got to go to the dentist today :-(. I hate doing that! It's just a check up which I arranged early cos midwife said it was a good idea, but it's still scary! I hope she doesn't touch my highly sensitive gag reflex area - I still have to be very careful when spitting after doing my teeth. The appointments not til 3, so I'm going to distract myself with my quilt this morning. 

Good luck with your shopping, hope you find something nice. Hope you have a nice time catching up with your friend. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Oh no, i hate the dentist too. But to go when u might feel sick is the worst. Im sure the dentist will understand if u explain first .
Our neighbour gave us some plants yesterday. They are giant daisys and i planted them a long our back fence. I hope they grow! They will look great.
Good luck at the dentist x


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## Pansy

Back from dentist, all fine, phew! I had requested my check up after 7 months rather than the 9 months since last one she recommended as midwife told me to & she didn't want to do the check up! I sat in the chair & she said you don't need it yet! I had to convince her to look - v odd! Maybe I should have just taken the opportunity to run!!

That was kind of neighbours to give you plants. Hope they work!

How was your friends visit? What did you buy SIL?


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## MrsBroodyPant

Im glad u were ok at the dentist. Strange that she had to be convinced into doing her job lol.
My friends just left. It was lovely to see her. She brough her daughter who is 2 and she played with Hollie in the garden. My friend is getting married in Sept so we also chatted about her wedding. Their best man is my ex boyfriend. Her husband to be is best friends with my ex, that is how we met many years ago. Its nice that we are still friends. I will see my ex at their wedding lol that should be interesting!
I went all over town looking for something for my SIL. And i found the gifts in a garden center. I got her a nice mug with flowers & 40 on and a fridge magnet that says something nice about sisters.

You were right, weathers not as nice today. I think the weekend is better weather xxx


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## Pansy

I love the gift sections at garden centres, you can get some really nice little gifts there. 

Have you seen your ex much since you broke up? Did it end amicably? It could be awkward! Luckily the only men I'd have awkward encounters with live on the other side of the country, as I met them when I was at uni, so not much dance of running in to them! My friend saw one bloke at a wedding last year, but luckily I wasn't invited to that! She was v loyal & said he'd really let himself go, lol!

Weather is horrible here today, windy & rainy! Such a change! At least the rain will give the new plants a good watering, I just hole they don't all get blown over!

I started work on a draft ad for the person to cover my maternity leave on Tues. As one of the skills required I wrote "ability to work indecently"!!! Oops! I meant independently! Luckily I noticed it just before I printed it to show my boss!

What are you up to today? I've just got a dull day at work. Oh well, it makes the day go quicker & gets me one day closer to my niece's party on Saturday! I haven't tried on my outfit this week to check it still fits, hope it does. I think I've got an alternative if it doesn't. I bet she's excited. She chose her dress & accessories herself - its slightly OTT & gypsy-wedding ish, but she will definitely look like a princess. She told me the other week " I will look prettier than you at my party" - I wonder if she is telling her friends at school the same thing! 

Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Aww children say the funniest things! Im sure u will look just as pretty! 

You must be catching spelling mistakes off me as i always make them. I have to edit my posts afterwards lol. I might apply for your job and you wouldnt realise you were interviewing me! 
 
Yes the gifts at the garden center are lovely. Think i will go there again when choosing for other peoples birthdays. 

I did see my ex a few times after we split up and we are on speaking terms. We text each other happy birthday & merry christmas if we remember. We were together 5 years and were engaged...opps! I dont mind seeing him but im just worried about seeing his girlfriend. She might beat me up in the toilets lol. I was really looking forward to going to that wedding pregnant, as they have a child together. Nevermind, i might be pregnant again by then! I will definately have to look my best and get DH looking gorgeous lol. 

Im working today too. Boring! Hope u have a good day xxx


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## Pansy

Hello! How are you today? Hope you haven't been blown away by the gales! Rubbish weather overnight! 

I'm not having the best start to the day - didn't keep my breakfast down. No idea what that was about, I didn't feel sick & had taken my pill as usual. I hope it was just a once off & not a new surge of hormones. 

I am considering going swimming today. I used to go every week before I was pregnant. I haven't been since as I've been worried about the sickness. (Exercise seemed/seems to bring it on) I don't know if I will go now, I'll see how I feel this morning I guess. I was doing 30 lengths before Christmas, I think i might just aim for 10 today & then build up.

Do you watch the Apprentice? DH & I stayed up to watch it (we've been going to bed at 9 - him as he gets up at 4:30am for work, me cos I'm exhausted!) but last night we felt like we'd been out partying for 2 nights so we were in bed by 8:30! We're felt so old!! But it was also lovely to be going to sleep lol!

Are you working today? Do you have plans for the weekend? Any fairy princess/pirate parties to go to??

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

I havent been swimming for ages. Exercise can make u feel sick so it take easy and slow. Go swimming on a light tummy and eat afterwards (sorry if i sound like your mother lol). Sorry u were sick, thats rubbish :-(

We havent watched this series of the apprentice. We were at my mums til quite late last night and went straight to bed once home. We love to go to bed early but usually watch tv until late.
Ive got another friend round today who i havent seen for ages but knows the siruation. She will be the last visitor who i need to speak to about this, as everyone knows who needs to. Then tonight we are out for an indian for our friends birthday and tomorrow night out for a meal for SILs 40th. I might dress as a fairy lol that would surprise everyone! 
I hope u have a fun weekend and your niece has a lovely birthday. 

Not long until your scan! We are on countdown again 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Lol at you dressing like a fairy, that would be so funny! It would definitely give them a surprise!

Thanks for the food & swimming advice. It's really annoying cos the only time I can swim is between 1&2 & I don't think I could wait til 2 to eat. I think I only need to be in for half an hour, so I'll probably eat lunch at 12 & swim at 1:30. I guess I'll just have to experiment & see (hope it doesn't go horribly wrong - distance to toilet is what worries me most!) I tried on my swimming costume & it's v tight over bump - it squishes it so I look fat rather than pregnant. At least it makes my boobs look more in proportion! If I get on with swimming, I might have to invest in a maternity swimsuit.

I hope you have a good time with your friend. It will be good that you don't have to go through the whole story again after this unless you want to. Do you find it difficult to talk about? How are temps and spotting looking now? Are you still trying as much as possible? Still nothing here, I'm beginning to think we just won't do it the whole 9 months! I thought you were meant to feel extra horny in the 2nd trimester, but I feel nothing! I'm so lucky DH doesn't mind! 

Sounds like you have a fun weekend planned, lots of nice food! Hope you enjoy!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

My friend has cancelled her visit as her husband is poorly and she has to take him to hospital. She is coming next Friday now. Ive made new plans to go for a nice walk with my brother and his family. 

We havent had sex for 4 days! So my plan of doing it as much as possible isnt going well lol. and my temp went up high today, but i really dont think i will of ovulated. I think my body is just going crazy! Im expecting to wait ages for AF. 
My spotting has stopped but i think it may return if we have sex. 

I so wish i was still pregnant with a healthy baby :-(. My DH is great at keeping me positive and to be honest, with everything we have been through i think we are doing really well. But our friends baby is due in June, so its nearly here and then we will be the only ones without a baby! I think it will be difficult once their baby is here as i feel our life with change a bit. I just need to get another bfp.

I hope u have a nice swim. xxx


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## Pansy

That's a shame your friend cancelled, hope her husband isn't badly ill? Glad you were able to come up with a good alternative plan!

I wish you were pregnant with a healthy baby too. I think doing really well too, considering all you've been through. If you weren't such a strong couple, you could have just given up. You so deserve another BFP and you will get one, one day. At least you started trying young, you've got plenty of time, you haven't got your biological clock ticking loudly. It's unfortunate all your friends have kids, that must make it harder. I'm lucky that none of my friends my age have kids, although that wasn't much consolation while trying (especially as my unsubtle SIL put enough pressure on for 100 people!). You've just got to concentrate on what you and DH have & try to ignore what your friends have. Your LO will be the youngest in the group and will always be the most spoilt. Your LO will be so precious cos it will be so wanted, you'll never take having kids for advantage, & you'll be better parents for all you've been through. It will happen for you. But don't be hard on yourself when you aren't feeling as positive. You're allowed to feel down, you've been through such a lot this year. Remember I'm always here to listen.

I managed to swim 12 lengths yesterday, which I was pleased with. I think they've made the pool longer while I've been away - bit harsh of them, it's now so much harder to swim a length!! I didn't feel too sick, I ate a chocolate bar & had a drink as soon as I was out! (Defeats the point of the healthy swim, but never mind!)

I've decided to wear a new dress I got from New Look today that's navy with white butterflies all over it. I'll wear that with leggings, my tiara & necklace from my wedding & my wings! I can't find my glittery makeup - I have v fine craft glitter that I may mix with moisturiser to put on cheek bones, depending on how mad I'm feeling! I bet my niece is excited about it already! It doesn't start til 3!

Hope you enjoy your SIL's celebrations. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thanks for all the kind words and advice. I really appreciate it.
Have they really lengthened the pool or are u just joking? Lol i couldnt tell 

My friends husband has pneumonia but is out of hospital now and has meds, so hopefully he will be better soon.

My temp went down again today so i knew i hadnt ovulated. We had sex last night and no bleeding so far but sex did feel a bit uncomfortable. I hope everything is ok.

Your outfit sounds nice for the party. I hope u have a good time! If the strong winds continue then u can fly there like a real fairy! Have fun. Im off to work now.

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

How was the party? I hope u all had a fun time. What present did u buy your niece?

Our meal out for SIL was nice. It makes me feel sad though that i should be pregnant and adding to their family. They were all so excited before. 

What are u doing today? DH is playing golf this morning then we are meeting friends for Sunday lunch in a pub somewhere. We have spent a lot of money eating out this weekend! Opps! 

My temp is still low today. No bleeding and we dtd again last night. We are probably using up all our energy for nothing at the moment but its fun at least lol. 

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

You're a mango! I love that shop  xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

How was your party? Did your SIL like her presents? My niece's party went well. I was the only adult female, although one man (my BIL's cousin) dressed up as a pirate. The little kids seemed to like that I was dressed up. My niece looked very pretty in her party dress. The people that ran the party are on to a good thing - if you want to expand your business into parties, I think you could make loads! They charged £200 for 1.5 hours of 2 people entertaining & then 30 min of eating. They didn't provide the food or the party bags, so had no outlay really, they just brought a photocopied picture for people to colour in. Basically £50 per person per hour! Not bad!! I told baby that in afraid they won't be having so much spent on birthday parties - I don't see what's wrong with doing the entertainment yourself! 

Baby was given a party bag, which was funny. Surely no other baby that hasn't even been born yet has had so many presents!! I think my DH's family are slightly insane!! It was a rattle soft toy. My SIL put the party bags in clear bags with pink ribbon for girls, blue for boys, so baby's had both a blue & pink ribbon. 

What are you doing today? DH is working this morning, then we're off to the cinema this afternoon to see Star Trek (or is it Star Wars?). (Guess whether its my choice!!) I don't like going in the daytime, it seems a waste of light, but the weather is meant to be horrible, so that's not so bad. 

Tomorrow I'm going to a talk on epidurals & TENS machines at the hospital, did I say? I've signed up to go, but am not looking forward to it now! Hope it doesn't freak me out! My midwife led centre seem to be putting pressure on me to give birth there, so I signed up to go to this at the hospital to see if I will want the option for an epidural & therefore want to be at the hospital.

Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## Pansy

We were typing at the same time! Mango has been my favourite fruit during this pregnancy, I can well believe the baby may actually look like a mango!! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Yes we were writting together!

SIL loved her presents thanks. 

Thats sweet that baby got a party bag and it had pink and blue ribbon. I cant wait to find out which u have! Not long and u could find out 

Enjoy the cinema! I feel sorry for u having to watch either star trek or star wars. I hope the cinema do nice sweets/ice-cream/popcorn lol. 

Good luck tomorrow. Try not to worry about the birth. U will get a beautiful baby in your arms and it will be totally worth it...but learn about all the drugs u can take lol. Im sure u will be glad u went tomorrow afterwards. 

Have a nice day xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Good luck today! 

I had a down day yesterday. We went out with out friends for lunch (they are expecting in June) and i felt so sad afterwards. Then DH and i watched a film 'sliding doors' last night and she loses her baby and i was crying uncontrollably. I felt so sad. DH was crying too and we were just hugging in bed. I dont feel as bad this morning but its horrible waking up and realising it is real and i get a sinking feeling. Sorry, i dont want to drag u down. Just need to write down how im feeling. 

How was the cinema? Which film was it? 

Not long til your scan....3 days??? Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

Hope you enjoyed your meal out? The cinema (Star Trek latest) wasn't too bad, I wasn't too bored. I think the 2 scoops of ice cream probably helped!! Poor baby didnt like the loud noises, he was kicking lots at the start of the ads. I was worried about him, but they not actually feel scared do they? I was considering walking out if he kept it up, but he settled down after a couple of ads. I thought as I wasn't scared, he would hear my heartbeat being normal & be ok.

I've had a rubbish start to the day today with some projectile vomiting - lovely. Only 3 days since last bout. I'm a bit distressed that its still happening at 19 weeks when I'm taking tablets, but I should just be pleased it isn't everyday & I'm not as bad the rest of the day. The dr said I have to go back for tests if its still happening at 20 weeks, so I'll just have to see how I am then. 

Thanks for the advice re the lectures this evening. I think I'll take notes so I remember what they say. It's from 6:30 to 8:30 & I'm normally in bed by 9 at the moment, so I hope I can stay awake. Poor DH got up at 4:30am for work, so he'll be exhausted too. Hope it's lively to keep us awake!

Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## Pansy

Oh no, poor you, having a bad day yesterday. I remember sliding doors, not a good film for you at the moment (although it's quite good normally). I feel so sorry for you and DH. At least you have each other to go through this with. With lesser couples, it could drive a wedge between you. That moment first thing in the morning must be horrible, when you forget for a few seconds & then have to remember. Don't be sorry for telling me, I don't mind listening at all, I wish I could do something to make it better. Nothing but time passing is actually going to help though is it? But you will get through it.

Hope you have a better day today. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u. I know it will get easier with time and if we can eventually get another bfp, then we can focus on that.

Sorry u have been sick. U are almost 20 weeks so maybe u need to tell your doctor. I dont know. 

U keep calling the baby a he?? Is that what u think it is? 
I dont think baby could be scared in the cinema but i guess it is loud. It will feel protected by u and it is very safe inside u . It might just like star trek! 

Let me know how your hospital talk goes tonight. Hopefully u can keep awake!  is your DH going with u? He will be tired after such an early start.

Xxx


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## Pansy

How are you feeling today? How was the rest of yesterday?

The talk was better than I expected. It was interesting & quite informal. We watched a video on all of the methods of pain relief, then an anesthetist spoke about the epidural. We got to handle te tube they put in, which was tiny - you don't feel it when it's in apparently. You have numb heavy legs but can still move about on the bed. Apparently 50% of first time mums have them. It all seemed good & I dont think I'd be scared to have one. I think it has made me decide I want to have the baby there, where I can have one, rather than the midwife led unit.

We also got to try out a TENS machine, which felt weird. Have you ever used one? I think I'll probably hire one for labouring at home.

When we came home, we found our whole village didnt have any water, which was annoying. Luckily we had some bottled water so we could use that to wash our hands etc. We had to rashion our toilet flushing! It's ack this morning thankfully!

I don't have any feelings about whether baby is a boy or girl, I just call him "he" cos I don't like calling him "it"! I've always done it in my head, since I found out, but now I do it out loud, cos when I feel him moving about, it's like he has a personality. I do apologise to him & tell him not to worry about me calling him he if he's a she! Sometimes we call him by both the boy & girl names we've chosen merged in to one (sorry, we're not telling anyone what they are) My DH says "sort it out, son" when he's kicking me, but thats just what everyone says at his work, he'll call anyone son! I do t have dreams about baby or any other inkling about the gender. We're not going to find out on Thurs. DH really doesn't want to & I read in my pregnancy book that it can give you extra motivation in the final stage of labour. Having said that, I wouldn't be upset it baby accidentally flashed us!!

(I hope you don't find it too upsetting when I talk about baby like that)

Weather looks terrible here today, warnings of heavy rain. I think you might escape the worst of it. How are you're daisies getting on?

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

I like hearing about your baby. I want u to enjoy your pregnancy. Hopefully i will get pregnant again. But im very used to people telling me about their children when i was ltttc so im ok with it. Ltttc has kind of prepared me for this loss, as im used to everyone else being pregnant and not me. 

The weather looks ok here so far. DH is going to cut the grass and i will water the daisies! Hopefully they will grow.

Im glad u got your water back on! I was working yesterday and that made me feel better. Im gradually dancing more and more again now. Since being pregnant i havent done the splits or high kicks or big stretches but im getting back into that now which is nice. I can teach without doing it all myself but i enjoy joining in, especially in my oldest class where i make it quite challenging.

My temps the same. I think i will have a long wait for AF. This whole baby thing is just a big waiting game isnt it? 

Im glad u enjoyed the hospital talk. Sometimes i think they can tell u too much. Id rather just look away and let the docs get on with it and not know what they are doing. I had to give birth without any info of what would happen and it wasnt bad. Obviously it is different with a full term baby. My SIL had an epidural and liked it as she could move her legs etc. Go for that if u need it. At least u know u would like to have the baby at that hospital . Is it far away?

Have a nice day xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

Has the rain arrived? It rained constantly here from midmorning til bedtime yest, it was rubbish! Looks a bit brighter today. 

I was worried the talk would tell e too much, as I usually prefer not to know. I definitely didnt want to see the needle they inject you with, I never look when having injections. Luckily they were very sensible & said it all in a positive & non-panicky way. Te hospital is about 35mins if no traffic, whereas the midwife unit is 15mins on rural roads so mo chance of traffic (although maybe a tractor!) That was one of the things that was putting us off. The other problem is the parking at the hospital - when DH took me to A&E there he had to queue for 40mins to park. I'm just hoping we'll arrive when it's less busy or they have some sensible parking plan for fathers to be.

Scan tomorrow morning! I'm excited & nervous! Last time I was told I'd have to drink more for this one, so I'll be drinking loads this time, which I don't normally do early AM, hope I can keep it down!

Do you watch Eurovision? We do, every year, it's our/my guilty pleasure! Sometimes we have family round & have European food! Last year my parents & brother came round & we wrote amusing scorecards on all the acts. I'm looking forward to it again ths year. I don't think I'll be able to stay up for all of it tho, I'll record the results & watch them the next morning. Then, if the weather isn't too rubbish, we're going to go out to spend some time together to celebrate our wedding anniversary. It isn't actually til Wed, but DH is working then. We're not going to do much, as I don't enjoy meals out still, so we'll just go somewhere pretty for a wander. I've got his present sorted, so that's good.

I'm still trying to book our hol. There's too much choice & I don't know where exactly to go. I'm hoping to make the booking soon. Do you have any plans to go away?

I'm glad your able to enjoy dancing again. Exercise always makes you feel a bit better. Do you have to make up the routines yourself or do you have to learn set routines for their exams?

Hope you don't get washed away today! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.
Yes the rain has started :-(

Im working in my shop today. At dancing i do different things per school term. So for exams i have to teach set work but then when i do a show i make it all up myself. Im planning my Christmas show now im not pregnant anymore. I enjoy shows the most and so do the children. 

The hospital isnt too far away then. Hopefully baby will come at a quite time, with an easy car parking space.

Good luck with your scan. I hope it all goes well. At least now u can feel baby so know he/she is in there moving about. It will be lovely for u to see him/her again. Best of luck! What time is your appointment?

Is Eurovision on this sat night? I will probably watch it if we are home. I used to watch it every year but havent for the last few. 
Will be nice for u to celebrate your anniversary. I cant think what u will of bought for leather??? Gloves,...sofa,....wallet...erm...whip! Lol

We havent booked a hol yet either. We might go away fir our anniversary and then id like an abroad hol in Oct to take my mind off my due date. We went away last Oct too. 

Have a nice day and look forward to your scan!! Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

P.s my temp is still low. Im going to be waiting a while xxx


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## Pansy

Oh dear that your temps still low. Maybe it's good though that your body is taking its time to get back to being fully ready. Maybe if you have a long cycle this time you can be more sure that it will be ready to receive the fertilised egg, if you are lucky enough to catch it. Have you read anywhere about how long it usually takes to get your AF?

My appointment is 10:30, so I don't have to wait all day like last time. My DH has taken a half day, so he'll be home at 10 & I've swapped days so I have whole day off too. If it all goes well we're going out for lunch after at our favourite cafe (we went there Sat, but twice in one week is fine & not extravagant at all!!). Then we're going to an independent pushchair shop to see if they have anything different. 

How many days a week is your shop open? Do you have other people working there when you're not? 

Lol re whip! Don't think that's quite appropriate at mo! I wonder what he's got me.

Yes, Eurovision is Sat night. 

I'm doing my usual pre-cleaner tidy, so I'd better get back to it!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Lol at u cleaning for the cleaner.

I will be thinking about u tomorrow at 10.30am! Very exciting 

My shop is open tues-sat but my mam works in there if i dont and she likes to take over and think its her shop, so i just let her lol but she is an amazing help. Im so lucky as she always helps me with my business. 

Its gone very dark here now. The rain is about to come down heavy! 

I agree about getting my body ready again. I just have to wait until it sorts itself out. I think AF can come anytime and i could be waiting 8 weeks or more. But once i do get AF and can take clomid then i feel like ive got a good chance of getting a bfp. Im feeling positive now!

Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

It's a beautifully sunny, frosty morning here, much better, hope its stays like this! Hope it's the same with you. 

I'm not having a good start to the day again, I was sick in night & after breakfast. I don't know if its just cos I'm nervous/excited but I don't think that's what it is. I hope it's not my morning sickness getting worse again. I just hope I'll be able to keep liquid down for the scan.

Do you employ other people to teach with you? Have you had to interview people? We've had one applicant for my maternity cover job already, which is exciting, so I will have to do interviews soon with my boss. Haven't got a clue what I'd ask! As my boss is a psychologist, I'm hoping she could suss people out!

We're on page 10! What a lot of chatting!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

How did the scan go?? All good i hope .

I hope u enjoy your lunch out and pushchair shopping!!

I dont employ anyone but i do hire out my studio to other classes and groups for £10 an hour so i have a busy programme of activities on my timetable but its not me teaching everything and i dont need to pay anyone, they pay me lol. It works well.
You will have to think of some questions to ask. Where do u see yourself 5 years from now lol i hate that question .

10 pages? We are on page 37 according to my phone 

Xxx


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## Pansy

It all went well! Everything that should be there was there & in the right place. Baby was jiggling all over the place & flipped over twice! He had his legs crossed at the ankles and was resting his feet against my v full bladder, which probably didnt help my discomfort! He had one arm up above hs head most of the time, looked v laid back!

We came home for lunch as my stomach is still dodgy. Off to the shops now. xxx

Ps we didnt find out gender.


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## MrsBroodyPant

Im so glad it went well. With my bad experiences i was scared to open this thread when i saw u had posted a reply. I had to say a little prayer before opening it. Thank god everything is ok. Im so pleased for u. Its crazy that we only met on the internet and i feel i really care about your life and baby. Im so happy that your baby is doing well. 

Enjoy your shopping trip! 
Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I like your team yellow storks xxx


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## Pansy

Oh dear, I'm sorry I scared you! Everything is fine. I feel the same about your life. We've spoken everyday for about 4 months, so you're definitely part part of my life!

Both DH & I were worried after your experiences - the first thing we saw after the heartbeat was the brain which had black circles in it. The lady took what felt like ages to tell us they were normal air spaces, we both worried they were cysts.

I was so desperate to pee during the scan! When she wanted to look at baby's heart, he hid under my tummy button, so I had to empty my bladder. When I came back, he'd dropped down about 4 inches in my abdomen, I could believe how much of a difference the full bladder makes! It was the same sonographer we had in the other hospital, so that was nice.

I keep noticing my DH relaxing in exactly the same position baby was in yesterday, it's v funny! He's definitely the father!!

As well as looking at pushchairs & deciding we still want the same one, I went to the bra fitting shop again. My boobs have gone up 2 cup sizes since I last went at 4 weeks! The new bra is much more comfortable!

We watched The Avengers last night & I fell asleep! It's the first time I have actually fallen asleep, you are a bad influence on me!! I woke up to watch the end, I don't think I missed much! 

My little brother is coming home from uni for the weekend & DH is picking him up from the station, so I get to see him this eve - yey! I have to go to work today cos I took yest off, but I'm hoping I'll be able to escape earlier to see him.its just me in the office, so I should be able to get on with my work better. 

I think I should ask anyone I interview "what do you see yourself doing in 1 years time?" And if they say still working here, they won't get the job cos they're trying to steal my job!! Lol.

I read this on my Ipad, so I must get bigger pages, cos I'm only on page 10. How odd!

What are you up to today? Is it sunny? It's looking lovely here at the moment. It's 2 years once we moved into our house - it feels like we're still new here!

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Yes im so glad your scan went well. Sorry i scared u with the brain cysts. That must of been a bit worrying until the sonographer spoke and told u it was fine. When do u go for your next appointment? Is it midwife at 24 weeks? 

It will be nice for u to see your brother. Im going to visit my brother this morning before working in my shop. Then tonight DH and i are having tea with my mum. U do know 'tea' is an evening meal and not the drink? lol i dont think people down south call it tea do they? 

I would definately like a share of your boobs. Mine are so pathetic now, i feel a bit self conscious. 

The weather looks nice today and lots of birds are singing. Have a good day at work. Remember, even when u are in the office 'alone' u are never alone because baby is with u! It must be bring your child to work week lol or 8 months. Have u got a date for finishing work? 

Congrats on 2 years in your home. 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

My next appointment is 17th June. I think that's meant to be my 24 week one, but we're having it a week early cos of hol. I can't remember if anything exciting happens at that one, I think it's just a check up. It's hard to believe we won't see baby again till he's born. We've been counting down to scans, not sure what to count down to now. (The birth still seems too far away) Actually, the next few weeks have lots with anniversary, weekend away & my birthday, so that should go quite quickly.

The whole "tea/dinner" thing is a controversial issue in our house lol! Before I met DH I had lunch & dinner. But he calls lunch "dinner", which kept confusing me lots. So I said we'd call meals lunch & tea, then there's no confusion. So that's what I call them, but he has stuck with dinner for lunch, so I'm no less confused! I don't know where his family gets "tea" from, there's no link to the north. All of my family call them lunch & dinner. What do you call the midday meal? Hope you enjoyed tea at your mums.

Are your boobs smaller than they were before? I'm sure you have nothing to feel self conscious about, probably no one else can notice. 

Because I'm on my own in the office most of the time, I often end up having little chats to baby when I'm at work! I thought the other day, that will be one thing I will miss about being pregnant, having my baby with me to talk to whenever I want. I'm leaving at the end on August, as it makes sense for the new person to be there from the start of the school year. During the summer holidays there is less work to do, so my hours may reduce once I have trained the new person. Still only one applicant, but the closing date is 31st May, so there's still time.

We had fish & chips last night with my brother & my parents,which was really nice. My brother is really in to cricket & has come home to play in a match for local team. DH & I threw balls to him so he could practice beforehand on the field outside our house. It was really nice to be out in the sun (although a bit chilly)

We've found somewhere nice (hopefully) to go on holiday in Kent. We're staying in one of a few lodges in a private holiday park. Last year where we stayed in France had a table tennis table, & we got really into playing it. This place has one too so we should enjoy that. We're both about as rubbish as each other, so it makes it a fair contest!

Hope you have a good Saturday! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

I will reply later as im running late for work...lol...so tired....i didnt want to get out of bed!

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Im sooo tired now after work!

Sounds like u had a nice evening with your brother etc.

I call the midday meal dinner. At school we called it dinner time and had dinner ladies (like the sitcom). Did u have lunch ladies? . I do sometimes call it lunch, mainly if its a small amount like sandwich or something or out with friends 'ladies that lunch' lol. 

My temp is still low but my nipples have got a tiny bit sort, so something must be happening in my body! My boobs were small before lol im just jealous of yours .

We are staying home tonight so will watch the eurovision! We are having an indian for 'tea' (dinner!). 

Have a nice evening xxx


----------



## Pansy

Yay that you're watching Eurovision too! Don't tell me who wins or how we score please, I'm going to bed after the singing ends & recording results to watch tmr. We've bought some cheese from all over Europe (well, as much of europe as tesco covered! to eat while watching. My parents & brother should be over to watch with us. (It's all unpasturised cheese, so I'm not eating it, but I've got some nice cheddar made at dairy where DH works).

We had dinner ladies but lunch break. That's the same argument DH uses to say why it should be dinner lol!

Glad your body's doing something, sounds promising!

What's your DH called? In fact, don't tell me, I'll guess. I think Martin! (Hope you dont think thats a horrible name!) Maybe you should give me the first initial or this could take a while! My DH's name begins with T.

Enjoy Eurovision! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Oooh i like this guessing game! My DHs name isnt Martin lol, it begins with an R. Is your DH called Thomas or Tony? I feel like we are playing 'guess who' .

Dont worry i wont tell u the eurovision results, although im guessing nil pwa! I lol at cheese from all over europe........well Tesco!!!! Ha ha . That tickled me!

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

My DH is guessing that your DH is called Mr T. Trust him to say that lol xxx


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## Pansy

Lol re Mr T! Neither of you have got it yet I'm afraid! Richard?

Did you enjoy Eurovision? I stayed up to watch it all - once it got to 10pm I was too tired to go to bed!! It's the latest I've stayed up since Feb! We really enjoyed it, very amusing. My brother & I wrote scores for each act & DH just analysed my scores! My brother & DH were drinking, so my brothers scores got more random as the night went on! We had subtitles on & my favourite moment of the evening was when they were singing the interval act about Sweden & the subtitles said about how they eat meatballs "seasoned with some horse!"!!! The song actually said sauce. Which songs did you like? My favourite was the Armenian one, with te man in the glass box. I also liked the Denmark one, as well as Russia, Malta & Norway. I didn't like our entry, but at least we got a few points!

I'm halfway there today! Woohoo! Our little outing can be to celebrate that as well as our anniversary. Weather is looking ok at the moment, so it should be alright. We're buying a picnic from Waitrose & then saving a short walk somewhere we havent been before where there are lovely views & wild flowers. 

What are you up to today? xxx

Ps. Yikes - a cantaloupe! That seems large! The scan said baby's femur was 3cm & he weighs 290g.


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## MrsBroodyPant

Richard is correct! My 12 points go to u!

Trever
Tristan
Timothy
????????????

I liked the song with the glass box too. That was my favorite! I also thought that Sweden song was funny. I was laughing at the 'seasoned with horse' too and the ikea part 'good luck with assembling all the parts'.Our entry was rubbish. Bonnie Tyler cant even talk anymore nevermind sing lol. 
Well done for staying up so late. Sounds like u had fun and your brother enjoyed himself .

Congrats on 20 weeks! Have a lovely day out. I hope the weather stays nice.
We are having dinner at my mums house and just being lazy today......i hope!!
I did a smiley opk this morning as my nipples are slightly sore but it was a blank circle. I will do another in a couple of days. Im just taking them for fun really. Ive only got 2 more left and wasnt planning on buying more until af comes and i can start properly! 

Have fun xxx

Xxx


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## Pansy

Yes, you got it! Trevor! My brother's called Richard too, it's a nice name. Does he shorten it? My brother is Rick to his friends and Rich to his family. Trevor is Trev to his colleagues & sometimes his family, but usually Trevor to me!

Did you have a nice dinner? We had a lovely time on our walk. The weather wasn't great, it rained when we got there so we sat in car til it stopped. We found a lovely picnic spot looking out over wild orchids & cowslips & a view for miles. No one else chose the path we chose, so it was really private & secluded. There was a. Airfield close by & an old plane (by-plane??) was doing loop the loops while we ate - we like to think it was our own private airshow!! Afterwards we went round a nearby village & found a picture for our kitchen that matched one we bought last year for our anniversary, so we bought that as a sort of joint present!

Shame your OPK wasn't smiling. Maybe it will be soon. Are you definitely meant to ovulate this cycle or could you just skip it? It will be good when you get AF & then know where you are. Can you get clomid from your GP or do you have to go back to the specialist for a new prescription? How many cycles worth have you got at the moment?

Are you teaching today? DH is on nights this week, so he'll be with me this morning & then he's off to work after lunch. I don't have any plans for after he's gone to work, but I'm sure ill think of something. He hasn't been on nights for 3 weeks, so I can barely remember what it's like!!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Aww your picnic sounds lovely and buying the picture is a nice idea! We have a picture in our kitchen which is called 'after the rain' , that would of been apropriate too . What gifts of leather did u give?

I usually call DH Richard but his family & friends mostly call him Rich. Im not very good at shortening peoples names unless they introduce themselves as the shortened name, it feels wrong lol. 

I probably wont ovulate as this isnt really classed as a cycle but i enjoy doing opks for fun. I might do another tomorrow morning. Ive got 4 months worth of clomid left! Id like to think that will be enough but we are going to go back to our FS anyway. I just need an appointment with GP to refer us again. 

Im teaching tonight. Ive got a friend coming round at 11am (the one who cancelled because her hubby was ill) so i need to tidy up now! Then i pick my niece up from school and go to dancing til 8pm. 

Have a nice relaxing day! Watch jeremy kyle ha ha....only joking xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

We haven't exchanged gifts yet, as our actual anniversary isn't until tomorrow. T is working lates this week, so we'll only be together in the morning. I think we're going out for lunch after exchanging gifts & hopefully watching the wedding video. I really can't believe it's been 3 years! It seems like yesterday. Today was spent getting the hall ready, which took all day, but involved my parents & my SIL & us all working together, v fun. I think we finished at 9:30 at night, then opened wedding cards before I slept at my parents & T went to our home. Did you spend night before wedding apart?

I don't like to shorten people's names either. At school I used to hate it when people who weren't my friends would shorten my name at school, especially PE teachers. I hated PE, I've never been sporty. 

Did you do an OPK this morning? What did it say? 

How was your friend coming round? Was it difficult with not having seen her since your loss?

Does your mum dance? How do come to have a dance school? When did you buy it? Have you taught dance since you left school? I was wondering bout how it all came about yesterday!

Off to work today. I feel like it will be busy today as it was quiet last week. I wonder if we'll have has any more job applications.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning!

Ive wasted another opk this morning as it was neg, but i enjoyed it lol.

Happy anniversary for tomorrow. I hope u have a nice morning together. We spent the night before apart too. R stayed at our house with his best men and i slept at my brothers house because it is right near the Hall and a modern house that looks nice on the photos. Do u watch your dvd each year? Have u put your dress on since? I havent. 

My mum didnt dance but wishes she did. I started aged 6 and asked to go. I loved it and went a few times per week. I then always wanted to become a dance teacher as i combine my two biggest passions, dance and children. I did dance at college then a dance degree at uni. I started my school in 2004 in a community centre. It got bigger so i moved into my studio in 2009. I only rent my studio, not own it. I hire out my studio to lots of other groups and opened my shop in 2011 which is the unit next to my studio. 

Have a good day at work. Not having many apps for your job is good, less people to try steal your position. 

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Here are my websites so u can have a look at what I do:

https://j9dance.webs.com/

https://www.thestudio-acklam.webs.com/

xxx


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## Pansy

Thank you for sending the links. I love the design of your website, the butterflies are so pretty! You do so many classes & you've managed to find loads of people to hire the studio out to, you're such an entrepreneur. I wish I lived near, I'd like to do tap dance fit & Irish dance! I must look into whether we have anything similar near here. In my old flat I tried to find something nearby. I only found line dancing, which was cool, even though I was younger than everyone else by about 50 years! I did it for about 3 months, but it was a 30min car journey away & it became too much. 

I love your shop, it's so pretty & pink! It's the sort of place I'd love to browse. Is it key rings on the counter in the pic? They look cool. Do you have to do a lot of work on the website to keep it all uptodate? T made a website for my boss a few years ago, it was v hard work! 

I'm currently waiting for T to wake up. He didnt get in from work til 3am, so I don't know when he'll wake up. We have watched the video every year so far. Sometimes I watch it during the year too, although I can't convince T to! We have 2 videos, neither is official. My cousin is a professional wedding videographer, but he didnt want to work at our wedding. He videoed some bits & edited them together a bit. My uncle also did a video on his little handheld camcorder. He learnt how to edit it & added music to some bits. Both videos are very different, but I love them both. We didnt want an official video as we both felt uncomfortable with being filmed, so ths way we didnt really know it was happening.

I got my dress cleaned after the wedding & packed up in a box. I haven't dared to get it back out, I don't think I'd fit it back in! I don't think I'd fit into my wedding dress, even before getting pregnant. 

Last year on the anniversary, t was working days & I worked in the AM. The Olympic torch was going through the town where I work, just past the end of the road where the office is. The church bells were ringing all morning, there was bunting up & it felt lie everyone was in a celebratory mood, which I decided was for my anniversary!! I went out to watch the torch go past, wearing my red, white & blue hair clips! It was a lovely sunny day last year, like the wedding day. It's grey & horrible today & I've started the day by throwing up, so it's not v similar to my wedding day so far!

Do you have any more opks left or was that the last one? At least doing them feels like you're doing something. Have you ever tried a saliva microscope? I dd tat for a couple of cycles, saw some ferning around the right time, although I wouldn't rely on just that. I lied the pretty patterns it made! It made me feel more hopeful when I saw the patterns.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

HAPPY 3rd ANNIVERSARY! 

To C and T,

Congratulations on your anniversary! We hope you have a lovely day full of memories of your wedding and plans for the future. Next year you will have a speical little someone to share it with who will be yours as a marriage and no body elses. That child will strengthen your bond even further and unite you forever.

Best wishes,
J and R (and Hollie) 
Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Above is my anniversary card to u! Lol

Im glad u like my business and websites. They are just free websites so are very easy to alter and update as i need to often. R has built websites before too and they are hard to do. Shame u dont live closer to join some classes  and if u have a girl she could come to my dance school. R and i went to ballroom dancing classes for 2 years but we dont go anymore. We used to go on a Friday night with friends and then to the pub afterwards. 

We didnt get an offical wedding dvd either but our friend videoed parts of the day and its nice to look back on. Weddings are so expensive, u cant have everything. We have a couple (married) friends who are professional photographers who did an amazing job with our photos and took them from first thing in the morning until the end of the day. I didnt get my dress cleaned lol it is still hanging in the bag as i left it....opps! 

Its nice that last year seemed like a celebration for u with the olympic torch. My 18th birthday was on the queens golden jublee in 2002 and that felt like a celebration for me! Lol

Sorry u have been sick today :-( are u going to tell your doctor? 
Ive got one opk left but im not going to do it yet. My nipples dont feel sore anymore. I had a temp rise this morning but it cant be ovulation as my opk was neg yesterday. It must be an odd spike like i had last week. My body is obviously confused. Lol.
Ive never tried or even seen a saliva thingy! Only heard about them a few times on here. Are they any good?

Hope u have a lovely day xxx


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## Pansy

Awww, thank you for the anniversary card, very sweet of you! We enjoyed celebrating & watching our video. I gave T a leather notebook & a leather key fob embossed with a "dire wolf" from his favourite books/tv show, Game of Thrones. He gave me a leather covered journal. We take a photo of ourselves together on the day each year to put in our anniversary book. This year I made sure my bump was visable in the photo!

In the afternoon, when T went to work, I looked through the wedding albums. I only got round to putting all the photos in albums just before our 2nd anniversary. We had a professional photographer but we also put CDs on everyone's table & asked them to send us their photos. We ended up with 2500! It took a long time to chose my favourites! I've ended up with 3 albums, but the last one includes our honeymoon photos too. Where did you go on honeymoon? We went to Sardinia. The wedding was on Sat & the flights from our local airport was only on Wed or daytime Sat, so we went the following Wed. On the Mon T had arranged for a surprise night in a nice hotel in the Cotswolds. It was still sunny then, so it felt like we were abroad. The whole wedding & honeymoon was so nice, it's a shame you can only do it once!

Where did you go to uni? I went to Royal Holloway, University of London to study Zoology. I got I'll in my last year & have never used my degree, but I loved my time there. (Luckily I managed to graduate, with a lot of extensions on my work, lecture notes from my friend & using marks I'd got in earlier years to boost my 3rd year marks)

That's cool that we all celebrated your 18th! They even put a big parade on for you in London! Was some of the bunting last year for you too?

How's your temp today? I wonder what your body is up to. How many days has it been since you stopped bleeding? 

I don't know if I should ring my dr or not. I definitely dont feel as nauseous as I did. I'm only being sick every few days. I might wait & see if I'm sick again in next few days. I've been fine this morning. I forgot to order a repeat of my anti sickness pills yest. They run out on Sun & it normally takes 2 days to get the repeat prescription. I hope I can convince them to do it more quickly or I will be in trouble on Sun!

Looking nice & sunny today, hope it stays like this. Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Im glad u had a nice anniversary and lovely thoughtful gifts! Gives me some ideas .

We have our wedding pics in a photo book album rather than a traditional album. Our honeymoon was in the Maldives. It was the most amazing place! We didnt wear shoes for the whole holiday. You go out for a meal with sand between your toes, it was heaven on earth. We bought a photo album when we were there but i still havent put any pictures in it yet. I must do that soon! 

I went to Sunderland Uni. I got a 2:1. You did well finishing uni when u were ill. How did u first realise u were ill? What was your first symptom or sign?

I havent bled for over 2 weeks now. My temp is low again today lol. I knew i would be in for a long wait. Id love AF to come for my birthday! But i will be lucky if it comes by July at this rate. 

Last year on my birthday we had a jubilee garden party and bunting & decorations up for the queen. I dont think i will be able to do that for my 38th birthday as the queen is getting old. 

How horrible is the killing in Woolwich? So discusting. The country isnt safe. 

I hope u have a nice day xxx


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## Pansy

Morning! 

My cousin, who's the wedding videographer, went to Sunderland. He studied photography. He really like it there. He was there about 10 years before you!

When I was at uni I got tonsillitis in Jan really badly twice in 2 weeks. The second time I was sent home for 2 weeks by the medical centre. It was the day before one of my exams & all I was concentrating on was the exam - I remember complaining to the dr that I fell asleep when I was trying to revise. I was shocked when he said that's cos your body needs to rest - it hadn't even occurred to me! After that, I just couldn't get fully better. I felt achey all the time & had mental exhaustion - I couldn't remember what the end of sentences were when I was talking. I struggled on, got a bit better over the summer, started working full time & then completely collapsed. That's when I became housebound etc. Not a good time, but I'm so grateful I'm so much better now.

It's good you've had 2 weeks without bleeding. If you counted the 1st day of no bleeding as day one, when would you be due a non-clomid AF? When I had what I think was a chemical & bled for double my usual length of time, my AF came about on time if I just counted from when I stopped bleeding. I didn't get the usual cm pattern, so I do t know if I ovulated that cycle. But that was very different from what you're going through.

I liked my ferning microscope. I definitely saw ovulation one month. The next month it was confusing, but it was a confusing cycle anyway. I was put off opks cos of the urine you have to use - if I remember right, doesn't it have to be not FMU, but when you haven't drunk for a while? I always drink loads throughout the day so found it hard to find a time. With the microscope, I just had to use first saliva of the day. You can't drink anything, even water, for 2 hours before. I think I liked temping best, but maybe that's cos what I was doing when it worked! 

We had a 3rd applicant yesterday, but this was the worst yet. We asked for a covering letter, as the ability to write well is crucial. This person just wrote one poorly formed sentence. The cv was v lacking in words as well. I won't be recommending we interview them, although my boss is soft & might want to give her the benefit of the doubt!

My brother's home again today, so I'm picking him up from the station later. T worked till 3:30 this morning, so he won't be awake for ages. I'm hoping to go swimming again today, I just have to spend a few years shaving first!!

I think baby might have had hiccups yesterday! I felt about 10 very rhythmical kicks/movements. It's a bit early to feel it, although I've googled & some people do. He was either hiccuping or tap dancing! He's moving lots this morning, which is nice, cos he's been quite quiet lately. 

What are you up to today? xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,
I didnt wake up til 11am! Terrible but i couldnt sleep all night because the wind & rain was keeping me awake. Poor R left at 7am for work. 

Im cd32 now but if i count from when the bleeding stopped im on cd18. My cycles can be anything from 30-47 days. Counting a long cycle means i should have AF by about 22nd June. Seems ages away! Ive got my appointment on 27th june so if it hasnt come by then i can tell the hospital i guess. My temp was high this morning so its pattern is going up and down lol its crazy! I havent dobe my last opk yet. I will save it until i get symptoms like sore nipples again as that is usually my indicator of ovulation. With the smiley opks u can use FMU so they are better than the lines, i agree they are a pain if u cant use FMU. 

With your condition u will always need to be careful of not over working and over tiring your body - but u dont need me telling u that lol. 

How is my writting? I know i always spell things incorrectly. You write beautifully. I can tell u are a clever person. Has T got a degree? R does but it took him ages to get it as he was working at the same time and missing lessons and exams because he prefered working and earning. I think his heart wasnt in it as his parents really wanted him to go to uni and kind of pushed him. Whereas i always chose what i wanted to do myself so worked hard. We both went to local uni's so didnt need to move away or get loans. 

The inlaws came round last night. They are going on holiday for a week now in their caravan. 

Today im working in my shop and then doing DIY at my mums this evening & weekend. We started the task again on Tuesday and are making good progress. During this kitchen task i have lost my nanna and given birth under terrible circumstances. No wonder the job isnt complete yet! 

Have a nice swim. Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

How's the DIY going? Do you enjoy it or has it become a chore now? How much more do you have to do? Lets hope nothing else goes wrong while you finish it.

I think you're writing is really good, you would definitely get an interview! I did History A-level so had to write loads of essays. My Dad would check them for me, so he always made sure I phrased things correctly. He's a solicitor, so he's very hot on correct grammer!

T has a Maths degree. He was the first in his family to get a degree. He doesn't use it now though. It's a shame, cos he's almost embarassed he's got it, as he's surrounded by people who don't have degrees at work. I'm proud of mine, even though I don't use it! What did R study?

We both went away to uni. I have a huge Student Loan, but I haven't earned enough to pay it off yet. T didn't take a loan, he just worked all holidays to pay for it. The nearest uni to us would be about an hour away, so most of my friends went away to uni.

I suppose at least you have the hospital appointment, so you know you will get checked, but it does seem a long way away. What's your temp doing today? Could it be the low temp that was the wrong one, not the high ones? 

We got the rain and wind at lunchtime yesterday. It was so cold! I actually put more heating on as my family were complaining it was so cold. Rubbish weather! Luckily I got my swimming over and done with before it got too bad - 20 lengths this time. I didn't feel sick, so it was good. (I've been sick again this morning - I'm thinking I might go to dr next week. It so hard to know how much is too much)

I think I could feel baby kick with my fingers yesterday as well as internally. I called T over, but of course baby stopped then. He then started again as soon as T went away lol!

We're going shopping today. T wants to travel over an hour to one town for a specific reason that has something to do with my birthday. I wonder what he's up to! It's my dad's birthday next week, so I'll be buying something for him. They are going on holiday to Nepal in October (which is complete madness, as my dad doesn't have the best of health & hasn't been camping since he was a teenager, yet they are going on a trek! And they'll be on the other side of the world when/soon after baby is born! But never mind!) so I'll probably buy him something from his favourite outdoors shop.

Are you ever allowed to borrow your in laws' caravan? I've only been in a caravan once, but I have romantic ideas about being snuggled up in them. I expect the reality would be quite different! 

Hope you have a good weekend! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Good afternoon,
Ive just finished work. I hope u are having a nice day and a good shopping trip. What is T up to? Lol

R did a computer studies degree (something like that) lol. Sunderland uni is an hour away from me but i drove there each day. It was only for my final year as i did an HND first at Teesside then topped it up to a degree at Sunderland.

The inlaws caravan is their pride and joy, we have never been offered the luxary of borrowing it. I havent been in a caravan since i was little and dont remember it much. We sometimes go camping but only because our friends enjoy it and we all go together. We have a tent and Hollie loves it but we wouldnt go on our own - i dont like it that much! Lol now our friends have babies we havent been camping for a while....yipeee!!!

My temp was down again today. See what happens in the next few days. Now u have been sick again id go see your doctor. I hope u are ok? 

Now for a weekend full of DIY. I like it but it does start becoming a chore when the job drags on. The kitchen is almost done. We need to lay the wooden floor and do the splash back and all the finishing touches now. We are getting a chinese for tea/dinner so that will be a reward

Why did u chose the name Pansy as your name on here? I was supposed to be mrsbroodypants but i missed the 'S' off when registering lol silly me.

Xxx


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## Pansy

A banana??? I did not expect to see that!!

I've never been camping. I don't think it would be my type of thing. I go to the loo in the middle of every night, even when not pregnant, so that wouldn't be fun. Plus I like a comfy bed too much! We already have a 5 foot bed (king?) but I want a 6 foot one (super king?) - I need more space! T is 6'1" & takes up as much space as he can! I'm 5'7".

Did you get the floor down? I hope you enjoyed your reward. 

Our shopping trip was exhausting but I got a few things. I took forever to get there as we got caught up in traffic going to Cornwall on hol. I bought some new maternity jeans & an extra long normal top from Primark to cover me up, as most of my tops leave a gap now. It tricky to know what to buy, as nothing fits for long, so I'm just going to buy as cheap as possible.

Lol re missing off the s! I chose Pansy at random, it was just the first flower that came to mind. I joined in Feb, so we'd probably just planted some! I wanted something where there was no link to me, as I was keeping TTC secret. 

It looks like a lovely day here again. I think you're meant to have a nice day tomorrow too, but we will have rain. Today we're probably going to a house with pretty gardens for a bit of a wander. 

Are you both working tomorrow? T is till 3pm.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

A banana! It must be a cheeky monkey! Lol

I always need a wee in the night too and when camping i make R come with me because im scared on my own lol. 

We have a king sized bed too and id like bigger. I love sleeping and need my own space. R is 6 foot but im only 5'2". 

The weather was boiling hot yesterday. We ended up helping my mum do some of her gardening so we could be outside enjoying the sun. We will do more DIY today.

Im glad u enjoyed shopping. Id of just bought cheap mat clothes too as u arent in them for long. Do your shoes fit like normal? Something people need bigger shoes. Im a size 3 or 4 and R takes a size 10 although he will try to squeeze into a 9 because he thinks they look nicer lol. What size shoes are u?

My temp is high today. Its the highest its been all cycle. It will probably be low tomorrow though lol.

Enjoy your walk in the sun today. Xxx


----------



## Pansy

My feet are size 8! T says I have clown feet! His are size 10. My best friend is size 3-4 so she sometimes buys children's shoes! Can you get away with that too? I've always found buying shoes to be a nightmare. I think tey are the same size at the moment, although they definitely ache & feel more swollen than usual after walking fir a while at the moment.

We ended up going to a more local view point yesterday for a picnic as we were too tired to go further. It was beautiful up there, we could see across to Wales (I don't know how far that was, but it was a long way! I'm rubbish with distances!). It was quite breezy, so we were a bit cold. It's really windy today, I can here it whistling under the door again. Sunny at the moment though. 

We went to the garden centre, yet again, on the way home. T bought more plants which he planted in the evening. I think letting him take control of our garden may have been a mistake!! He's enjoying himself though, and it does look pretty. 

I'm so tired today after quite an active weekend. Baby was kicking really low down which was quite uncomfortable. I put a post on here & people seem to think he is kicking my cervix! It makes me jump when he does it. So far today he has been kicking in a different place, higher up, so I hope he stays in that position! T felt baby's head or bottom for the first time yesterday. I could feel him pressing against my stomach wall & could see one side was slightly higher than the other. When we pressed, we could feel a definite start & end to the hard bump. At least T has felt something now, even if baby stops kicking whenever T tries to feel him.

Are you going to watch BGT this week? I will be recording it & watching it the next AM as T doesn't really like it. He's not really into reality shows. Sometimes he'll watch Strictly with me if he fancies any of the celebs or if his favourite dancer is still in it. I like Dancing on Ice, but he'll never watch that. I don't mind watching it on my own though. 

How's your temp today?

My plan for today is to work on my quilt. I haven't done any for a few weeks. Are you both working! Did you get the DIY done yest? xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

My temp has stayed high today! So i could be 2dpo or my body could be playing tricks. The weather is warm so i hope thats not a connection.

Yes i will be watching BGT and Corrie is on each night this week too. Im in for a treat! Lol R likes to watch them too, although he doesnt have a choice as im in control of the remote in our house! . 

Yes i can even buy childrens clothes. I have a coat that is aged 12-13 and a cardigan aged 9-10 years!! I remember being on a night out once and i kept getting stopped by women who liked my skirt and asked where it was from, i had to tell them it was a childrens skirt lol.

Sounds like u have had a busy weekend but a lovely one. We did more DIY but not a lot. R had a works do last night so we stopped DIY early for him to go out. 

I cant believe how much u can feel the baby move and kick. It must if grown so much since the size my baby was born at. Im so glad i didnt get to a higher gestation where i could feel the baby, as it would of been even harder for me. Hopefully i will get pregnant by the time u give birth. We are not planning on telling anyone if we do get lucky until after the scans/tests. I will tell u though of course!!! 

Enjoy doing your quilt. Im going to a garden centre with my mum now before work, she wants to buy some plants. 
Have a nice bank holiday

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

How exciting that your temp was still high! Hope it's stayed up today? 

How funny that everyone loved your skirt! I can't believe you can fit into size 9-10 yrs! You must be able to get some bargains. Do you find it hard to find your size in adults clothes? I don't expect everyone stocks it.

I finished my quilt! It took all day as I had to sew all the way round the outside by hand & my hands get sore if I don't rest. Here's a pic of it: 

https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/88b0e279b858017a932c7f1ddef10b54.jpg

I like the back as much as the front, it will be hard to decide which way up to use it. (Don't judge my furniture tastes by the colour of the seat it's on btw. We inherited a 3 piece suite from my Grandma. It's in really good condition & includes a sofa bed, but neither of us like the colour.)

Did you enjoy BGT? I'm pleased with the ones that got through, although it was a shame the big dance group didn't get through. I thought the magician's act didn't work as well as it had done in the audition.

I've got to cover for my colleague at work this afternoon, so I've got a long day. I'm also working tomorrow - training my boss in what I do so she can do it if I'm ever off. I don't think she'll be able to remember how to do it unless she practices regularly, but never mind! I've then got all day at work on Thurs & we're off on holiday for the weekend at lunchtime on Fri, so it's a busy week! I feel exhausted already!!

I probably ought to go & get dressed. It's so dark here cos of the rain, it feels much earlier than it is!

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Morning!

Wow your quilt is AMAZING! I cant imagine how u have made that. It looks professional like from a shop. Its lovely! I like both sides. Well done! You are so clever. 

My temp dropped a tiny bit but FF still gave me crosshairs and says im 3dpo. Im not so sure but im happy that i must be getting closer to AF.

I mostly buy adult clothes as childrens often have logos on like a big pink butterfly or something lol. I can usually find my size ok.

I liked BGT. I thought that big dance group was good. I loved those opera singers the best, they were brilliant! I didnt like that magician, he scares me lol. Its clever but im nit comfortable watching his acts. Im too scared that someone will get hurt. I know thats the whole point but i dont like it lol.

Sounds like u are busy. Take it easy when u can. Where are u going this weekend? Is it in the cottage with your parents? I cant remember. 

Ive got my niece (4) and nephew (7) sleeping over in Sat night. They have not slept over without their parents before. Im so excited. They are so cute and R and i will enjoy looking after them.

P.s your furniture is retro! 

Take care and have a nice day xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

My temp is still high....4dpo now  x


----------



## Pansy

Yey re your temp! How exciting that your body is back to doing what it should! Not quite AF in time for your birthday, but maybe in time for R's bday? (Not sure he'd see that as a good present would he?!)

Thank you for your compliments about my quilt, I can rely on you for a confidence boost! . The thing I love about sewing is you can make things look good if your patient enough, it's not like other crafts like painting, where it always looks homemade.

How exciting that your niece & nephew are coming for a sleep over! We love the excitement of having our niece & nephews over, although they're not quite so cute anymore. What have you got planned? We often watch a film with the boys (who are now 8 & 11). Our niece just loves going to the park & helping with cooking or watering the garden!

I'm pleased the comedian won last night! I wanted Jack & Cormac to get through though. I'm glad the soul singer didn't get through - I don't quite believe her shy act, having seen her on the Voice. It's rubbish it's not on tonight cos of football!

My boss doesn't like any of the 3 applicants for my job! I thought one of them was good! The closing date is Friday, so it could be tricky if no one else applies. She has a mad idea about someone else editing the work externally, which I don't think will work, but then I won't be there to have to deal with it! 

Better go & get ready for work again. Still haven't packed anything or washed what I need to take to Cornwall (yes, weekend with my parents). Might have to find some time to do it...!

Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

You need a PA or get your cleaner to wash and pack for u . 

We have the rain here now. Opened the curtains this morning to a totally different world, foggy, grey and damp! Yesterday was lovely i was gardening for hours at my mums.

On Sunday we are having a little lunch with all my family at my house. Just sandwiches etc.. So im going to let my niece and nephew bake cakes on Sat afternoon ready for the lunch. I thought they could design and decorate placemats (just A4 paper) for themselves and one each for R's niece and nephew who will be coming Sunday. My niece and nephew love art and drawing. Then i thought we could watch a dvd on the evening. Im going to do pancakes for breakfast and then we can walk Hollie. Afterwards they can help butter bread etc for the lunch or make decorations to put up. I want them to enjoy themselves so they want to sleep again lol. 

Yes the comedian was funny and i liked the girl who also got through. Her song at the piano is really catchy but i dont like the outfits she wears lol. I liked duet where the male dancer throws the woman about but its a bit limited. I didnt know the shy singer was also on the voice, i will have to research that! Shame its not on tonight :-(

I hope someone clever enough applies for your job. Its good that they are finding u hard to replace. 
Im working in my shop today but off to Sainsburys first.

Have a nice day xxx


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## Pansy

Your weekend sounds lovely. Decorating placemats sounds such a good idea - I might steal that next time I have my niece over, she would love that! Pancakes for breakfast sounds good too - lucky them! They will def want to come back! Is your meal a pre birthday gathering for you / you & R? Have you decided on a joint present this year or do you decide after? T didn't have any luck with buying my present when we went out on Sat, but there's usually something I like in Cornwall, so that's his plan now. He's taken Mon off work now, so we can stay till after lunch, so it will be nice long break. (Still haven't packed - starting to panic now as its meant to be in the car tonight so we can just go tomorrow when T comes home).

How's your temp today? Is your LP usually 14 days? (Is it LP after O? My brain isn't working this morning!) 

It's my cousin's child's 3rd birthday on the same day as yours. She absolutely loves Abney & Teal - do you know it? On Cbeebies. I made her Abney & Teal dolls for Christmas & I make her Poc Poc biscuits when I see her. I designed her an Abney & Teal card on the computer last night, but I can't get it to print properly. Our printer is on the blink. I'm hoping I can print it at work today sneakily. Abney & Teal is a really sweet programme & I enjoyed making the dolls, although they took forever!

Hope it's less rainy there today. It's horrible here, but meant to be nice tomorrow. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

The weather is still miserable here! 

I havent heard of Abney and Teal before lol usually i do know childrens TV. You can get personalised cards from M&S. I just ordered R's niece one as her bday is 12th June. She likes Emily Button which is only available at M&S. Emily is a doll with a few teddy friends and there are books and all sorts. I bet u could even make a doll like her .

Yes my lunch on Sunday will be a little bday party. Just an excuse to get everyone together really. We havent even discussed presents yet lol there is nothing i want except AF. 

Its nice that T is off on Monday so u dont need to rush back. If i lived closer id offer to help u pack lol hopefully u will get it done today and in the car tonight. 

My temp is high so im 5dpo. I had light AF cramps and backache yesterday and during the night. My LP is usually about 14 days but anything can happen after a loss. 

I hope u have a lovely weekend away. Im guessing u wont have internet so i will speak to u when u get home? 

I hope the weather does improve for u. Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

No one has heard of Abney & Teal, it's amazing! It's about the only CBeebies show I know, so I always expect everyone else to know them! I feel I must send you a pic! Here they are:

https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/4ffc8594728153429d4eb57aa431c211.jpg

And here are the dolls I made: 

https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/d9619b6799fe7e4e9ddb2a16d284cbba.jpg

The bear (Abney) was on a diet when I made him!! He was really tricky to make from corduroy so even though he looked a bit odd, I couldn't make him again.

Glad you are definitely in the TWW, that's encouraging. Can you get the temp rise without actually releasing an egg? Or has your body released an egg without the clomid?

I was awake for 2 hours in the night worrying about work, how silly! My boss mucked something up yesterday, it was entirely her fault, but I was worrying about that! And then I was worrying about packing! I didn't get back to sleep till 5:30. When T's alarm went off at 4:30 it was a song I like, so I was singing along - I don't think he really appreciated it! I can't sing at the best of times, but it was probably a bit much first thing in the morning!

I convinced T it would only take him 2 seconds to put the bag in the car when he gets home today & that gives me all morning to pack, rather than being stressed last night. So I still haven't packed! But I do now have 5 hours to do it!

There's no phone or Internet reception in Boscastle, so I won't be able to talk to you, unless I find they have wifi. I feel really cut off from the world when I'm there! My best friend's grandad is really ill in hospital, there's nothing they can do, they are just keeping him comfortable. I really want to be able to be there for her if anything happens, but am worried I won't be able to. Her DH will look after her though, & she knows I'll be thinking of her. There's not much I can do anyway.

A weird BGT last night with lots of buzzing! I liked luminites (?) - I didn't know the song before. Do you have any little boys coming to your classes? Preschool were really cute! When I did tap there was one boy there. He's now a west end choreographer!

Hope you have a lovely weekend. Hope you enjoy the sleepover & your party. In case I can't get back on here on Mon, have a lovely birthday!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning!

Your dolls are amazing! U are so good at making things. How long does it take u to make one doll? How much does it cost for all the materials? You could sell them! You could make ballerina dolls and i could sell them in my shop. If u sold loads on ebay or T did u a website u could stop worrying about work and sew at home with your baby. Id give it a try if i were u. Your dolls and quilt are brilliant! 

BGT was good. I liked luninities too. Pre-skool were class and i hope the dancer man gets the wild card. 
I used to have one boy at dancing but he left to do ballroom. I dont have any boys at the moment.

Im 6dpo but i think u can get a temp rise without an egg. Also ive got one blocked tube so if i ovulated from that side, id get a rise but no chance. I just want AF to come. She might be here by the time u return home. 

I hope u have a lovely weekend away. I'll miss talking to u . 

P.s i cant sing either! Lol

Xxx


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## Pansy

Woohoo I have Internet! (really shouldn't be so excited about that!) The owners of this holiday cottage own the house next door & let you use their Internet, so reception is v poor, but there is some!

How are you? Excited about today? When do they arrive?

It's as lovely here as ever. We arrived at 5:30 yest after a very hot drive down. We stopped for icecream on the way! My parents were meant to join us later, but they didn't finish work till late, so they are coming down this morning instead. It's v odd to have the whole house to ourselves. 

I've been awake since 5am as the curtains are very thin. T is still asleep. I'm doing my usual AM routine of letting my breakfast go down & writing to you! I'm glad I have you to write to, I'd feel lonely in the mornings otherwise! 

I think we're going to a National Trust house today & then maybe the beach. It looks sunny but windy. It's a bit cold in here, but I can't work the heating! 

Oooh, I can hear T moving about! Hope you have a lovely day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

It sounds nice. Hope u have a lovely day on your walks. 

Ive not slept much as have strong af cramps and pink spotting. Im hoping af comes full flow today then i can start clomid tomorrow. I dont know why it would come at 7dpo but i guess its just messed up or i didnt o.

Im going to collect my niece and nephew when i finish work. So excited but im tired out and crampy now.....not good timing but they will help take my mind of it and im a step closer to a bfp!

Have a lovely family day xxx


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## Pansy

Morning! How did you all sleep? I hope you slept better. Did the kids go to bed well & to sleep quickly? When did they get up? Are you up with the birds too?! Did you all enjoy the film? What did you watch? 

Do you usually get painful AFs? Poor you. I'm lucky in that I just got a tiny but of cramping on day one. I used to get more pain when I was younger. When I was bad with ME, my AF would make me a lot worse. It's good you've actually got AF though, that was quicker than it could have been.

It's odd having my parents with me in my usually quiet breakfast time! I had to ask them not to talk to me while I was eating, as this is the worst bit. I slept a bit better, managed to go back to sleep in the light. 

We had a lovely day at the country house & then at Padstow. We shared our Cornish pasties with a robin! He kept fetching bits of pastry & flying off to his nest with it. He would come right up to us for the pastry!

We're going out for Sunday lunch today by a nice beach. It's meant to be less windy today. Both T & I have red noses from the sun yest! My mum has a cold some I'm avoiding her as much as poss!

Hope you have a lovely birthday party & enjoy the preparations with your little helper!

Xxx

Ps I saw your sausage dog pic in a pet shop yest! I have only ever seen it as your profile pic before, it was funny to see it here!


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## MrsBroodyPant

You're not a banana anymore lol. 

Af came full force yesterday, so im cd2 and take my first clomid tablet tonight. I know, with my irregular cycles i thought i might of had to wait a lot longer for af. I get bad cramps but only for the firdt day or so. 

My niece and nephew have been brilliant. We watched 'surfs up' which us a cartoon about surfing penguins. My nephew is busy writting his own story about surfing this morning and my niece is playing in the garden with Hollie. 
They went to bed very good and had 2 stories. He went straight to sleep but she got up twice but then settled ok. I hardly slept because i was listening for them all night lol.

Sounds like u are having a nice time. Thanks for finding time on your holiday to message me. I hope your mums cold goes so u dont have to avoid her lol. 
I saw a robin yesterday too, it was sitting on my mums wall. 
Strange that u saw my sausage dog pic! When i was in a garden centre i saw lots of pots and things that said Pansy on! I thought of u .

We are going out for a walk soon when R gets up. I hope u have a lovely day.

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Just taken my first clomid!!! X


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## Pansy

https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/32B0FEF9-26C7-4F7D-9871-D1DEA9727CA4-2201-0000021717746BE6.jpg

Happy 29th Birthday! Hope you have a lovely day! Hope all your wishes come true this year!

Love, Catherine xxx


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## Pansy

Hello! Happy birthday! Above is your birthday card. I wrote it in the sand at sunset on Trebarthwith Strands beach yest. The sea took my wishes away to you!

What are you doing today? Do you have the day off? If not, will you tell the kids/wear a badge? I think you should def wear a badge!

Did your party go well? Did you enjoy it? We went for a walk along the Coastal Path to a lovely pub for Sunday lunch. At the start of the walk my mum stopped some dolphins playing at sea! (she's really good at spotting things with her binoculars!) We watched them jumping the waves for about half an hour from the clif top! It was amazing! There were at least 3 of them, but maybe more. I've never seen them in the wild before.

It was v sunny all day & both T & I have red faces, despite sun cream! My hands look ridiculous cos I had long sleeves on, so they are red & then white!

We're going home after lunch today. I think we might go to the beach beforehand. 

Hope you have a lovely birthday!

xxx


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## Pansy

Just noticed your clomid post - woohoo!!!


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## MrsBroodyPant

Aww thank u for the lovely card! It is so sweet. An amazing idea to write in the sand! Thank u, it's brilliant! 

Im really tired from yesterday. After our walk, we prepared the food and then everyone arrived. It was lovely and sunny so we ate outside and the children were all playing together in the garden. R's parents stayed til 9pm which would be ok usually but as i hadn't slept well the previous nights i was yawning a lot lol. Hollie is tired out too, i can hear here snoring now!!!

R went to work today at 6am. My friend (pregnant one) is coming round soon and then im off to work as normal til 8pm. Im going to take sweets for the children at dancing. I like them to know it's my birthday as children always ask "how old are u?" and as i only look young i like their parents to realise im actually older than they think lol. It's quite sad actually that i am often older than their parents now lol. 

Ive got lots of nice cards and presents. SIL got me a lovely bag from Laura Ashley. R and i are celebrating tonight and having fillet steak for tea! Im sure he will give me my birthday card/presents then.....lol I told him not to get me anything so maybe he hasn't, we shall see 

The weathers been nice for your holiday. Ive seen dolphins wild on holiday, but not in this country. They must of been lovely to watch. How old is your mum? My mum is 62. 

I hope you a good time at the beach and a have a safe journey home today. 
xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

P.s I saw another robin in our garden yesterday! I havent seen any dolphins yet though lol xxx


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## Pansy

Good morning!

I hope you and Hollie are less tired today. Did you enjoy your birthday tea? Did R take you seriously when you said not to buy anything? What's your new bag like? I hope you enjoyed therest of your birthday.

Did the kids enjoy the sweets? Lucky you, looking young. No one ever thinks I'm younger than I am. People think T is about 5 years younger than he is, so everyone must think he's my toy boy! I've even got some grey hairs which show up clearly in my dark brown hair at the moment. They seems to have doubled recently & I'm not 100% sure colouring is safe, so haven't. I think T has some grey hairs too, but he is blond, so they are barely visable & might just be v light blond. What colour hair do you & R have?

Where were you when you saw wild dolphins? I'd only ever seen them in captivity at Marine Land in southern France, which was amazing, but not quite the same. How lovely that you saw another robin. We heard loads of birds singing yesterday when we were on the beach (but no seagulls, weirdly) but didnt see anything interesting. I paddled in the sea for a bit yesterday - it was freezing! But it was nice to do. 

We got home at 6 yesterday to find some ants have moved in! Yuck! We've never had them before. We were too tired to deal with them yesterday, we'll have to do something today. I'm not sure what though? There's no clear nest area, it's just like they're wandering wherever they want! Nice!!

Does your clomid give you any side effects? How many days do you have to take it? Is it right that it makes you release more than one egg? Or just makes sure you release one?

I wonder if I'll be able to remember what to do at work today or if my brain in still in Cornwall! I've got Thursday off & T as taken Thurs & Fri off, so he only has to work 2 days this week! Hope this nice weather stays till then!

How far from the sea are you? We're about 1:30 from nice beaches. Does Hollie like swimming? Tal (my parents Labrador) loves the sea & any water. 

Both my parents are 61. We had the big 60 celebrations last year. For mum, whose birthday is first, we stayed in the same place in Cornwall! For Dad we had a surprise party over Jubilee weekend. 

Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

I showed R the pic u posted of my message in the sand! He thinks it was a really nice idea too. I told him it's your birthday soon and he said i'd better get myself to the beach! Lol. We live about 15 mins from the beach but don't go very often. Hollie likes the sea or any water in fact! She likes to jump in rivers for a swim. She didnt used to like it but R threw her in once and now she loves it. Our friends have a golden lab and she loves swimming too.

I saw the dolphins when i was on a boat in the sea in Greece in 2002. I went with my college to do dance shows there. It was great fun being in holiday with all my college friends. Most of us still keep in touch.

The children at dancing liked the sweets. I bought 50 packs of 10p sweets and the shop keeper thought i was a bit strange lol. After work R cooked our tea and i had a bit of wine (first time since bfp) but i didnt really enjoy the wine. He bought me a lovely card. He is so sweet and writes all nice things inside . He didnt get me a big present, just some of my favourite chocolates.

I didnt picture T being blond. Its strange how ive got a picture in my mind of what u both look like and i will be very wrong lol. 
R has black hair (he says its dark brown but looks black to me). He has some grey hairs! Ive got brown hair and one grey hair and im proud! Lol its my I.D. 

Im cd4 now! I take one clomid tablet from day 2-6. I take it at night so i can sleep through any side effects. It should make me release an egg, at least one. It can make u ovulate a few times! So i have a higher chance of twins etc. Someone on here ive just seen got bfp on clomid is having quads! Lol

I hope u have got rid of the ants!? U can buy ant killer. My mum had some ants before and the killer worked. 

R and i are both off today so are going for a walk now then to my mums for DIY fun!!! 
Have a nice day at work if u can remember what to do .

Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

What a lovely day to have off yesterday! Is it sunny there too? It's so nice here. Hope you were able to get out and away from the DIY for a bit!

You're so lucky living 15 mins from the sea. Is it a nice beach? Pebbly, sandy? Tal loves any water too, but he won't jump in, he has to walk in very carefully so he knows how deep it is. He loves to retrieve rocks from the water. If you play ball with him, he won't give the ball back & won't fetch the ball until a 2nd has been thrown. But with rocks, he'll retrieve them and drop them at your feet like a good dog! Here's a pic of him searching for his rock on hol:

https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/22cad9ebfc5e1e3a3c310230faf8d3d3.jpg

Crikey to someone having quads on clomid! That would be a handful (& a womb full!!) Does the clomid make you release from both ovaries each cycle or do they still take turns?

My poor mum is still ill on holiday. Rubbish timing for her. They are getting out and about a bit, but she's not feeling great. My dad wrote my bday card & gave it to T to give to me. I've got it on the mantelpiece ready to open, but noticed he's addressed it to Miss & my maiden name! Oops! I've only been married for 3 birthdays!! Poor Dad, he's very embarassed!

My cousin's wife has organised a joint family bday party for me & my 2 cousin's kids (3 & 15) who share your birthday on Sun. We're having a BBQ if its still nice. T is going to bake me a cake - he's the chef in our household. I always enjoy meeting up with that side of the family, so it should be lovely. What are you doing on Sun for R's bday?

Only 4 applicants in total for my job. We're going to interview 2 of them. I've got to create a proof reading & typing test for them!

Hope you are able to enjoy some more sunshine today! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

The weather is amazing here too. I left R to the DIY and did my mums garden. I have stratches all over my arms now from prickly bushes, i look like ive been self harming. Ive caught the sun a bit too! 
The beaches are sandy but some are nicer than others. Places like Redcar, Saltburn and Whitby are close by.
Even when im off work i still go to the studio to open up for other groups. Last night when i was closing at 9.30pm there was a drunk man doing a wee infront of the door! How horrible! A lady from the class shouted at him. I had to get buckets of water to wash it away. Discusting man.

What plans have u got for your actual birthday? We might have a BBQ wuth friends for R's birthday if the weather stays nice.

This morning im going to my friends house as its her sons 2nd birthday tomorrow so ive him a little present. Its a book with a puppet to help tell the story.Then i will be working this afternoon.

Good luck with creating your interview tasks! How long left before u leave? 

Ive only got 2 more clomid tablets to take then its bding time lol. Clomid can make u ovulate from both tubes but as one of mine is blocked i think im less likely to have twins etc unless i release a few from the working side. 

I hope u enjoy your last day of being 32. My mum was 33 when she had me . I will give u your birthday card in the morning lol.

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Happy 33rd Birthday Catherine. I hope you have a lovely day and a fantastic year to come! Love Janine xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi birthday girl,

I hope u are having a nice birthday and are with T doing something special. Did u get some nice presents and cards?
Im waiting for british gas to come round! My brother works for them so he has managed to get the job of coming to our house. Our boiler is still playing up.
Then im off to work this afternoon. 

Im CD6 now, so i take my last clomid tablet tonight! Its exciting to think that in a few weeks i could have another bfp! I order 20 digital opks and they have just been delivered! Im feeling excited and hopeful. Im going to be disappointed when i get af but a chance of being pregnant is better than anything. 

Have a lovely birthday xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Thanks for the lovely card. Hollie is so cute! What a lovely idea! 

I've had a really nice day. We've been to Weymouth, a lovely beach about 1.5hrs away. We had lunch in Costa, lay on beach (T fell asleep,) & paddled in the sea. It was so hot, but sea was still cold. I now have red feet as forgot to put cream on them - oops! We had delicious tea at Prezzo before walking found harbour. I'm knackered now!

T bought me a glass ornament that I have wanted for 12 years. Its irredescent bluey green with a silver frog on it. My friend bought me a pandora bracelet for my 30th & he bought me a frog charm to go on it (I like frogs!). My friend bought me a hedgehog charm for it. It's now looking more full as I have some cheap beads on it too. 

I keep forgetting to ask - what are your favourite chocs that R bought you? 

Did your boiler get fixed? How annoying that its still causing problems! At least you don't need heating at mo, but does your hot water come from there?

So pleased you have hope at the mo. Each step is one step closer. Now you have the fun part! (although if I'm honest, I never found BD as much fun as DTD pre TTC - seemed more like a job! How about you? But then again, I don't think I can even remember how to do it anymore!!)

So tired I can't write more, will write more tmr. Thanks again for card. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Im glad u had a nice day. It sounds like a lovely enjoyable birthday. 
As if u have wanted the ornament for 12 years! Thats a long time to wait . The pandora charms sound nice. I havent got a pandora braclet but i like them. 
The chocolates R got me are Thorntons. I love the strawberry ones best! 

How is your best friends grandad? Ive been meaning to ask.

The boiler still isnt fixed. We have taken out a monthly insurance that will cover the cost of repairs. So it should get fixed soon. The hot water will only work if we put the heating on 26 degrees! Lol 

Ive taken my last tablet now. Im planning on starting opks on cd13 and following my bding rota which got me my bfp last time. Im just copying exactly and hoping it works again!
I really got sick of dtd after ttc for so long but now we are starting fresh it doesnt seem such a chore. Im looking forward to it so far lol. 

Do u have another midwife appointment soon? At 24 weeks? 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning! 

I love Thorntons chocs too. We have a Thonrtons factory shop in a seconds shopping village near us, where they sell the chocolates cheaply! It's very dangerous if I go in there!! The strawberry ones always get left in our house though!

My friend's granddad died late on Sunday night. I was able to talk to her as we drove home on Mon, to keep her company, so at least I could do something for her. As her dad died before she was born, she her granddad's sole heir, so she has to sort out the funeral & everything. She seems too young to have to do that, but she seems to be managing ok.

Good job you recorded your schedule last time so you can copy it. I hope it proves lucky again, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.

We're driving 50 miles to pick up a wardrobe we bought on eBay last night! Slight madness! We wanted a wardrobe to match our 2 chest of drawers we already have, but they don't make it at ikea anymore. So we've bid on a few, but this is the first we've won. I just really hope it fits in my car - a Honda civic! It's been dismantled, so T assures me it will fit - we will see! It might be an uncomfortable journey home! They say there will be rain in Southampton where we're going, that will be a shock to the system!

My next midwife appointment is a week on Monday. Not sure what this one is for. Just to check us I assume. 

I'd better get up. I'm still so tired - we spent half the day lying on the beach yesterday, I can't understand why I'm so tired. Maybe it was the heat. 

Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

Yes the sun makes u tired. I feel extra tired at the moment. It's so warm when dancing in my studio as my air con broke! A man is coming to fix it this morning. Then im working in my shop. 

My brother is in hospital today. He is getting put to sleep and a camera inside his tummy to see if there is anything else wrong. He had all this bowel removed 3 years ago and needed a bag. Then had an op to make an internal bag. Its better for him as nobody can see it but its not ideal. He is still having problems so its getting investigated. 

Sorry about your best friends grandad. That must be sad for her to organise the funeral. Ive heard of so many nannas/grandmas and grandads dying in 2013. So sad.

It is crazy that u are driving to get a wardrobe!! Lol i hope it does fit in your car? U said u bid on many and this is the first u won....i hope u dont win them all lol.
What colour car do u have? Ive got a black puma. Ive had it for ages! I really want a new car. R has a dark grey BMW which is nice so we always travel in that when together. Does T have a car? 

Good luck with the wardrobe and the rain. The weather is sunny here still. Have a nice day!

P.s send the strawberry thorntons to me!! 
Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

How did your brother get on yesterday? Why did he have to have bowel removed? (Sorry if you've told me & I've forgotten). My friend from uni had to have a section of her bowel removed cos of Crohn's disease & then had the ends reattached a year later. She is still having problems though. I hope your brother got on ok.

Not a goid time for your air con to pack in! Hope it was fixed yesterday?

The wardrobe fitted in the car - phew! It was disassembled so all the bits fit in quite well - we just had 2 bits sticking through between the front seats. We haven't got it in from the car yet, I hope all the bits are there! We bid on other ones over the last few months so they had all ended. It would be funny if we'd ended up with 3 of them!

The journey down was terrible - it was raining so much! We were both in summer clothes & were freezing! We went round an indoor shopping centre & by the time we came out it was sunny again, thankfully. After we picked the wardrobe up, we walked along a river and watched huge ships being loaded up at the docks.

I really want to put the wardrobe together today, but we don't want to waste the sunny day. We don't have space for it yet, we need to move some bookshelves into the garage first. And we don't have space in the garage yet! So it'll be a big job!

My civic is silver - v dull! If I could chose the colour, I would have the bright blue that Ford uses. T has a bright red Honda Accord. His family all go on about how it was hs pride & joy before he met me & now they hardly see it cos my car is better on petrol so we use it as the main car. I like to think I gave him more to think about than cars, but they seem to think I changed him! My car has done 150k miles! I've had it since 2008 - I stopped driving between 2001 & 2008 due to my illness. T assures me Hondas go on for thousands of miles - I hope he's right. It doesn't feel like an old car to me. 

My dad has just sent me a pic from our holiday of T with his arms around me watching the sunset. I didn't realise he was taking the photo - it's quite cute. You can just see our silhouettes & the pretty view.

Hope you have a cooler day at work today cos you have loads of classes don't you? Have you got any plans for this eve or are you watching BGT?

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Im glad u managed to get the wardrobe safely. I cant believe u were caught in the rain when it is so sunny everywhere else. I cant imagine it ever raining again lol . U will have to make room in your garage now then. Our garage is full of things we need to take to the tip. We fitted our own kitchen in our house and the old ones in the garage along with a million other things.

We have got my mums floor laid! So just finishing off jobs now. So glad its finally almost complete.

My brother is ok thanks. They didnt find anything wrong but took biopsies. He had colitis and was in hospital but caught an infection so needed his bowel removing. It was when i was on honeymoon! I found out once id come home. 

My air con is fixed! I will need it today. And i scrubbed my studio floor yesterday so its nice and clean now.

I will be watching BGT tonight! Looking forward to it! 

Tomorrow R is going to play golf then we are having a BBQ at our house with a few friends. I hope u enjoy the BBQ u are going to. The weather is meant to stay nice....FX!

R loves cars too! He doesnt watch football which is strange to me as my brothers love football so i just expected all men to like it! 

That pic of u and T sounds nice. Wish i could see it lol. 

Have a nice weekend! Hope u get your wardrobe out the car soon  

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Just remembered i wanted to tell u this:
u know i said my brother came round from british gas? 
When i made the appointment u get told to keep your dog away from the gas man but as i knew it was my brother i didnt. Well he rang me afterwards to say he had been to another customers home, opened his tool box and Hollies toy was in there!! Lol that really made me laugh.
Hollie had put it in there to try to encourage him to play lol!! Xxx


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## Pansy

Lol, that's so funny! Thats made me laugh so much! Did the customers see it? I wonder what they would have thought if they had! Cheeky Hollie, tryingto get him to pay when he's working lol. I saw a canal boat called Hollie today & thought of her. We went fora walk along the canal & had a pub lunch, v nice!

T doesn't watch football either! He'll watch big England matches, like Euro semi final etc, but that's it. My brother is a big Arsenal fan - I'm pleased I don't have to sit through endless matches!

Yey that you have the floor laid! That must be a relief! It will be good when you get it all finished.

Glad your brother is ok. That must've been horrible coming home from honeymoon to find he was in hospital. 

We've made space for wardrobe, now we just need to reassemble it. Tea first tho. Must get it done before BGT! Hope you enjoy it!

xxx

Ps your wish is my command.....!
https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/0ff33a92c97271f9ecaf2dbc748ae612.jpg


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## MrsBroodyPant

Awww that pic is lovely. It could be a canvas on your wall. Your dad is a good photographer.

Did u watch BGT? I cant believe that woman who threw the eggs! I felt sorry for those singing brothers having that in their act. I think the inpressionist was brilliant! I loved that. Jack was funny too and the shadow act is always amazing. I enjoyed watching it! 
Do u watch big brother? I do, it starts on Thurs. R complains about watching it at first but then gets into it lol. I like having something to watch on tv every night.

Yes my brother showed the customer the toy and said "look what a daft dog put in my took box" lol. Funny as.

You go on a lot of nice walks. Have u thought of getting a dog yourself? 

We are having a BBQ today. I need to cut the grass, tidy the house and buy the meat first! Lots to do. 
I guess the inlaws might come round tonight as it is Rs birthday tomorrow. I will have to move my birthday cards to make room for his lol. 

Did u get the wardrobe put together? What other jobs do u need to do before baby? 

Have a nice day xxx


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## Pansy

Hello! 

I haven't watched BGT yet so I haven't read what you wrote about it. My friend rang just after the ventriloquist & I tred to record it, but failed. I'll have to watch the repeat later.

I always get addicted to Big Brother (put BB at first, but realised that means something else on here & would make my sentence come out all wrong!!). I didn't realise it starts this week, that's exciting. T won't watch it at all, so I record it & watch it when he's not here. I love having something to watch each day too. Wonder what the twist is this year?

We put the wardrobe together & put the few clothes we have in it - it looks v cute. We still need to clear the rest of the room as it's still partly my sewing room & partly the library! I'm hoping to keep my sewing table in there as long as possible, so I can still do projects. It will just come out & be replaced by the cot when necessary. The cot is a point of contention at the mo - I think my SIL's one is fine, T wants a new one. The rest of the furniture is wood whereas the cot is white & t wants it all to match. His Mum will buy us a new one, I just think its a waste. We'll see....

Good luck with all your tidying etc. I'm glad we're not hosting our BBQ lol! T has just finished making me a bday cake to take with us - a chocolate mousse cake from his Gu cookbook! Looks lovely! He bought me a cake on my actual bday too, so I'm a v lucky girl!

Is the weather looking ok for your BBQ? It was really cloudy here when I got up, but T's beginning to be sunny now. Quite windy tho.

We have considered a dog at various points but haven't committed to any pets, despite both loving animals. The other day T said we would get a dog when our children are old enough to look after it too. 

My dad is v keen on photography. He spends hours setting up the perfect shot. I'm more of a point & click type of photographer, but I still get good results sometimes. It would make a nice canvas, I hadn't thought of that. 

Hope you enjoy your BBQ! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

The sun came out just in time for our BBQ. We had a nice day but i felt sad at first...

Our friends (the girl is pregnant) we went out for lunch with them last week & i felt upset afterwards as her DH was rubbing her bump infront of us & it made me feel sad & angry. Why do that infront of us? Especially after what we have been through. So today that was on my mind knowing i was seeing them again. R played golf with our friend today then brought him to our house for BBQ. When his wife arrived he said to me "here comes the baby carrier" and i just felt like he was rubbing it in. I went to answer the door to her & i just started crying. I feel daft now and R says he doesnt mean anything and just isnt thinking but i think its so insensitive. Do u? Nobody else saw me cry as i got strong again quite quickly but it was a tricky moment. 

Apart from that we did have a lovely day in the sun, in the garden with our friends and 3 dogs. 

I hope u enjoyed the BBQ u went to xxx


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## Pansy

Oh dear, your friend's husband sounds so insensitive. It sounds like he doesn't really understand what you've been through. Maybe it's a male thing & he just doesn't think before he speaks or takes action, but I would have found his comment & stomach rubbing really insensitive too. It wouldn't be difficult just to be careful about not drawing extra attention to the bump in front of you. It must be hard enough for you to spend time with them at the moment without him adding to it. I can completely understand you being upset. I hope you're feeling less upset today or are able to put it to the back of your mind.

I'm glad the sun came out for you and you were able to enjoy the rest of the BBQ. 3 dogs must have been quite a garden-full! Do they get on?

Our BBQ went well. It was sunny throughout, do that was lovely. T helped my cousin with the cooking so satisfied his primitive man & fire needs! (I cooked my chicken in the oven!! I know it's not quite in the spirit of things, but with being extra vulnerable at the moment, I didn't want to take any risks. No one noticed!) The cake T cooked was delicious. We had 3 cakes, one for each birthday person & everyone sang happy birthday to us, so that was nice! My cousins little 3 year old was as cute as ever.

Wish Richard a happy birthday from me for today. Is he working? Are you having a special tea for him? Did you get him anything?

I've just watched BGT. What a silly woman throwing the eggs! The boys looked really shaken after, it's amazing they carried on so well. There were so many amazing acts, lots of them deserved to win. I hope the Luminites get a record deal. Jack & the impressionist were brilliant. I didn't want to watch the shadow performers as their other performances have been sad & made me cry so I'm glad this one wasn't a sad story. They will be good at the Royal Variety. 

I'm going swimming today I think (I'm hoping if I write it, it will actually motivate me to go). I so tired, but I'll feel better when I have been. I'll do a bit if housework first to get me in the mood!!

Hope you have a good day & enjoy celebrating R's bday! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u. I knew u would understand. I feel better now ive written it down & told u. I agree with R that he is not trying to hurt me, he just doesnt think but i find that so hard. Im the type of person who puts others first & its annoying when other people seem so selfish. But i will try to forget about it.

Yes 3 dogs! They all get on well. And our other friends have a little boy who was 2 on your birthday & he was riding a little balance bike round the garden. So there were only 6 adults including ourselves but felt like more! Lol
R did the meat & cooked it nicely. Men do seem to like doing BBQs & playing with fire. I did the potatoes etc..

The cake T made sounds lovely. My FIL likes to bake cakes & did one for my birthday & another for Rs. The inlaws came round last night with Rs. Thing is, he always makes the same cake!! Lol and as we have loads of birthdays in June, he is baking about 2 per week! I get a bit sick of eating it by the end of June lol. 

Ive told R happy birthday from u & he says 'thank u'. He often asks about u & "my mate Trevor" as he calls him.  
We are going out with Hollie to Saltburn. Its lovely there. Where we park the car, u can walk in one direction to the beach or the other direction on a country walk! They seem worlds apart but right near each other. I think we will do the beach walk! Then im working later but R has taken a week off!! Lucky him! He wants to get my mums house projects all finished. 
I will cook a special tea tonight but havent decided what yet. 

I did an opk this morning & it was neg. We are starting our bding marathon tonight! Cd10 is when we began last time so ive got to copy! Ive told R but he isnt pleased about dtd to a rota so i will have to entice him! 

I hope u have a nice swim and a nice day.
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

What type of cake does your FIL make? I can imagine any cake would get a bit much when eaten repeatedly! It's amazing how many birthday you have in June! Did R enjoy the rest of his bday? What did you cook? Lucky him having the rest of the week off. Hope he gets on ok with the DIY. 

Saltburn looks lovely - I googled it & there are pics of Wikipedia. The views look lovely. Was the weather still nice with you? We barely saw the sun yesterday & it was much colder than it has been. Looks grey & wet here today.

My swim went well, I did 22 lengths so increased by 2 from last time. My swimming costume is uncomfortably tight now, so I ordered a new one when I got home. I didn't want to spend more money on stuff I won't wear that long, but it had to be done. I was fine when I came home from swimming & T spent ages cooking my favourite tea - linguine with butternut squash. 5 minutes before it was ready I was sick randomly. I didn't even feel sick beforehand. I then felt yuck all eve & really didn't enjoy my tea, such a shame. I hadn't been sick for 16 days & dr told me to reduce my pills, so I had reduced from 3 to 2 for 3 days. I don't know if that's what caused it. I'm going to carry on trying to reduce them & see if it happens again. If it does I'll ring the dr. It's so annoying cos I thought I had finally finished!

Did you succeed with your seduction? I always used to have to convince T that yes we really did have to do it that day - not exactly the best way to get in the mood!! We actually DTD at the weekend! After 5 months! To be honest, it wasn't great as we were both pretty scared of causing damage & it wasn't v comfy for me. I don't think we'll be in a rush to repeat it! 

I'd better go & get ready for work. I have to prepare for Fridays interviews! Quite exciting! Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Congrats on dtd finally! I managed to seduce R last night and im planning on dtd tonight as well. Opk still - but its the rota! Lol

FIL bakes chocolate cakes. They are gorgeous but it just gets too much. Its Rs nieces 7th birthday tomorrow so i will be eating another one lol. 

I didnt get R anything for his birthday, just a nice card. He got plenty of gifts, clothes & money off other people. Im so tight with the purse strings.

Sorry u were sick again :-( thats rubbish! I thought it was over for u too. Try to remember what u did each day u were sick as there might be a link. I hope u are not sick anymore FX for u. 

Yesterday the sun came out for our walk but the rest of the day wasnt as nice. I was at work for the evening and saw a car crash out my studio window. It was a pupil of mine who had just been to class. Thankfully they were all ok, it was just a bump. You get to see lots out my studio window! Last week there was a man passed out in the pathment but i think he might of been drunk. The police took him away. Im so nosey lol.

I cooked R an indian for tea which he loves. Its good that T can cook. R can cook too but he doesnt very often.

Today im working in my shop and R doing DIY. 
I hope u get prepared for your interviews. Remember i might be one of them with a false name lol.

Have a nice day xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning! 

I slept in til 7:50 today! I've been waking at 7 everyday without an alarm for months- I just can't sleep any longer- I was very shocked to see the time today. My MIL gave us a Grow Egg room thermometer yesterday & we tried it out last night - it gives off a soothing orange glow if the room is the right temperature for baby. Maybe that helped me sleep lol! Hope it has the same effect on baby!

Are you going to see your niece today? I bet she'll be excited to be 7 - life is all so much fun when you're that age!

Bit scary seeing a car crash. I'm glad no one was hurt. Is your studio in a large town? There seems to be a lot going on just outside!

I only took 2 antisickness pills again yest & I wasn't sick, although I felt worse than usual. Maybe it will just take a while for my body to adapt to having less pills. FX I make it through today ok.

I don't think one of our 2 job applicants is going to turn up for the interview! When I invited her, I asked her to confirm she would attend & she hasn't. I rang her yest, but she didn't answer or ring back. It'll be a shame if she doesn't turn up, as she's the best candidate. We will probably have to rethink if she doesn't show.

T is the main cook in our house. His mum has been severely disabled with arthritis since he was 5 so he had to learn how to cook early on. When we first lived together I wasn't as well as I am now & he is a much better cook than I am, so he just took on the chef role. I feel guilty that he does so much when he works so hard. I do as much as I can, but my energy is still limited & it's even trickier at the moment. He really is amazing with all he does for me.

How do your opks work? Do they just say negative or positive or is there a bit where it lets you know you will ovulate soon? The ones I tried had 2 lines & one was meant to get darker, but it didnt. (Seeing as a drs blood test couldn't pick up ovulation in me, maybe opks wouldn't work. I hadn't thought of that before.) Will you see any changes in the build up to ovulation on the opks? What day are you now? I wonder if you will ovulate on the same day.

I'd better get on. I have to mend my MILs douvet cover today. My muppety husband was cutting ikea packs open on her bed with a Stanley knife & cut through the cover! (Why would you cut things on a bed??!) So now I have to try to mend it for her. 

Hope you have a good day & are managing to keep to the schedule! xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Morning! 

U have slept in longer today! But you're still not quite as lazy as me lol. I wake up at 8am to temp & opk then if im tired go back to sleep. We didnt go to sleep until 1am though! R did loads of DIY then we dtd as well, so tired out lol.
My opks are clearblue digital smiley. For negitive u get an empty 0 circle and when positive u get a smiley face! 
Im cd12 now and negitive. In my bfp cycle i got sore nipples from cd14 and got my smiley face on cd16, so im hoping for the same again! Then we dtd 3 nights in a row! Im tired just thinking about it lol.

R is playing golf today with our friend mr insensitive! Im working in my shop. My studio & shop are on a busy road so lots going on! The town is quite big and thats one of the main routes in. There is always some kind of emergency service whizzing by! 
We are going our for tea tonight and then to see our niece. Yes she is excited to be 7! Her brother turns 11 on the 17th!
It would of been my nannas birthday on 14th and it is Rs cousins birthday on 15th. So many!!

Has the doc said u need to come down the tablets? U might be better still taking the 3 if u are feeling worse. I hope u are not sick anymore. 

Lol at T cutting the bedding! What are men like! R cut a piece of wood on our table when we were doing our kitchen and cut a slither off! 
I hope u manage to fix his mistake. 

Have a nice day! Not long til your MW appointment!
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

I'm so tired this morning! So not looking forward to work. My boss warned me on Tues it will be a very busy 2 weeks as there are lots of reports that need to go out. Knowing her, she'll probably just get them done for next Thursday & expect me to do 2 days work in one day when I'm about to go on holiday. I can't believe we're going on holiday again so soon! Will have to start thinking about packing - it's more important this time than last time as we're going to France for the day, so I need to remember passport & things for driving abroad. Better get organised!

Hope you enjoyed your meal out, where did you go? Hope you didn't have to see the lovely Mr Insensitive! What did your niece get for her bday?

I managed to mend the quilt. You can still see the cut but at least it won't get any worse! Oh dear re R slicing the table - that sounds exactly like the sort of thing T would do!

When I asked for a repeat prescription last week the dr rang me & said I should try to reduce my pills as I hadn't been sick for a week at that point. I'm going to keep trying, but I'll do it very slowly - I'm not in a hurry to go down to 1 pill a day!

My youngest brother came over for tea yesterday which was nice. He is volunteering for the National Trust at the moment as a Large Blue Butterfly Ranger! He has to go to a field where they have been reintroduced each day from Wed to Sun 9-5 & talk to people who come to look at the butterflies. He also has to count them twice a day. At the weekend he had people come down from Yorkshire on holiday just to see these butterflies! Unfortunately the butterflies haven't hatched yet cos of the cold spring! It's a shame he has to work at the weekend as we hardly see him, but it's helping with his 3rd year dissertation so it's goid he got the job.

What time is Big Brother on tonight? I wonder what weird characters they will have this year!

Have a good day. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

We went to Frankie & Bennys for tea. R loves their pasta bake, especially as i dont like pasta so never cook it for him. I had a steak! I love meat, could never be a veggie lol.

I got our niece a Tinklerbell necklace and a Cinderella doll. She loved them as they have just got back from Disneyland Paris so she had seen them there & had her photo taken with Cinderella.

I dont know what R plans on doing today but im working all day. I hope u manage your busy 2 weeks ok!

Where are u going on your holiday again? Is it just the 2 (3) of u going? Ive only been to France once and that was with our friends. We drove there, 4 cars in total and it was very busy, end of July and it took us 36 hours to get to St Tropez. Then we had to put a tent up as we were camping!! Never doing that again lol. The rest of the holiday was fun though. We stayed in a hotel in Chamonix. We went our for a meal in Italy! Worst pizza ive ever had though lol. It was a good time but difficult with so many of us. 

Your brothers job sounds interesting & very different. I can just picture a man with a big butterfly net & eating his lunch on a picnic table lol. It must be hard to count them! Im sure they wont keep still no matter how nicely u ask lol. 

Well done for fixing the quilt! 
Does T have any brothers or sisters? As he has needed to care for his mum and u, he will make a brilliant dad. Are u going to get him anything for fathers day from the bump? 

I think BB starts at 9pm but im not sure. I just sky plus it! 
Yes lets see how many freaks go in there! Lol

Have a good day at work xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

I've just watched BB - I think we can safely say they are all a little odd! I wonder what tonight's lot will be like. How would anyone chose their one suitcase over everyone else's? If they keep making him do things like that, surely they'll work out he's an actor really quickly.

I was sick again this morning so rang the dr. She said its fine to go back to 3 pills a day & try again in a week or just take the 3rd pill on days when I feel extra sick. It's good to have the reassurance of a dr telling me that, I don't like taking pills if I shouldn't be.

We're going to Kent for a week, just us. I've been to St Tropez briefly but never been to Chamoix - that's in the Alps isn't it? I'd love to go there. Did you goin the summer? I would love to go skiing one day - I've been to Snozone in Milton Keynes once where you go on real snow & went on fake ski slopes a few times when I was little. T wasn't very good on the real snow - he kept going off towards the wall. It was very amusing, although he didnt think so!

T wants to drive to the south of France one day, but I'm not keen on the long journey. I went by train a couple of times & we've flown. The last 2 years we've driven, but stayed in the north. I love how you can go to another country for the day when you're in Europe. We went to Italy for tea when we stayed near Cannes. When we went to North Italy (the holiday we got engaged) we drove to Switzerland from Lake Garda & then Slovenia & Croatia from Venice. It was v cool to visit so many countries!

This time we're just spending a few hours somewhere in the north of France. T will probably restock his wine collection & I'll (hopefully) enjoy some pain au chocolate, so e French bread & some cake!

The girl we were going to interview today doesn't want the job as she is going to China in September - how rude lol! So we're just interviewing one boy. We're giving him 4 tests & then talking to him - seems a bit harsh! I have to ask him 3 questions but my boss is leading the interview thankfully. It starts at 11:30. 

T has one younger sister. She does more of the care for his mum now, as she is a stay at home mum. T's mum also has a carer in everyday. I'm not getting T anything for Father's Day. I was v tempted by some "from the bump" cards but I thought it would make next year less special if he'd already had a card. And surely next year should be the real first year? I wouldn't have wanted a Mother's Day card, but then I couldn't feel baby kicking (pretty much constantly these last few days!) then, so it didn't seem as real.

Is R still going along with the schedule? He's got not excuse not to ths week with a week off. How's he got on with your mum's kitchen?

I'd better go & make myself look professional. My usual work clothes don't fit anymore, so I've basically been wearing the same dress everyday. My boos will have to get used to it, I intend to wear it for the next 10 weeks (I counted how long I've got left yesterday, when my colleague was overpowering me with her ridiculously strong perfume & I couldn't stand it! I still hate strong smells and this was really unpleasant! It doesn't matter how much you spray on, love, I can still smell your cigarettes too!! Yuck!) I'm leaving at 35 weeks & have one weeks hol, so only 10 weeks to go!

Hope you have a good day! If you've disguised yourself as a boy for the interview, that really is commitment to the cause & I will look forward to meeting you lol! Or were you the girl but you chickened out?!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Good luck for the interview today! I am both the girl who chickened out and the boy u are meeting today lol. Go easy on me! 4 tests seems a bit harsh .
At least a boy cant really step in your shoes. Or u could get him to wear your dress once u leave! Make him more familier around the place. Lol. 

I watched BB last night. Yes lots of crazy folk! I thought the suitcase thing was daft, i would of sussed him straight away. Like u said, nobody would pick their own clothes over everyone elses and there is no way BB would destroy their belongings. It seemed to obvious to me. I think he will get caught out! Would of been more believable if he had chosen one persons suitcase to get destroyed and that person would of felt victimised. Lol im evil, but it would cause more of a stir than being one of many to lose their case.

Sorry u were sick again...oh dear. It seems to be worse lately. Taking the 3 tablets should help i hope.

Im cd14 now. Opk still negative. I should get sore nipples today but i havent yet :-(. I can feel things in my ovaries, i hope its not cysts. I think clomid can give u cysts & im a bit worried as ive just taken it without really being instructed...opps! Maybe its too soon to start clomid after loss, im not sure.
We are dtd to rota! So far so good.

We have friends round for takeaway tonight. They usually stay til really late so im hoping we still get chance to dtd once they go. Otherwise i will just have to do it infront of them lol. That will make them leave! .

Yes we went in the summer. St Tropez was boiling hot and Chamonix was warm but cold up Mount Blanc. Id drive there again but just us & not at a busy time. 
We used to go to Aviemore each year with our friends & hire a big cottage. R would snowboard & id try to ski. I wasnt very good. I took some lessons but were boring and was a lot of standing around getting cold so i left & taught myself lol. Im better at skiing than i am at using the ski lift. I kept falling off! We havent been for a couple of years.

My brothers wife is from Croatia. I have never been but they go for 6 weeks each year & my niece & nephew can speak the language. 

Have a good day & let me know how my interview went. Im so nervous!! Its my first time dressed as a boy lol. Good luck!

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Just been looking at my bfp chart & i got sore nipples on cd16 and a positive opk then too. But dont know if i ovulated cd17 or cd19 as i missed one crucial temp.so ive still got a way to go yet! I got the bding rota right though lol
Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Cd15 and ive got my smiley positive opk! Xxxx


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## Pansy

Woohoo! How exciting! (Does that mean you ovulate today or you have ovulated? Sorry, still haven't got my head around opks!) Really good you're ovulating early again using the clomid. Fingers crossed for the rest of the cycle.

I'm afraid you didn't get the job, although your disguise was impressive - you really looked like a v nervous 21 year old boy! Poor boy had had no office experience & was clearly scared! We decided within 5 mins he wasn't suitable, but had to go through the rest of the interview. We were kind to him - we treated it as an experience for him, so hopefully he won't be as nervous at his next interview. He was sort of a computer nerd & wouldn't have fitted in at all. My boss has decided to increase the hours of the other 2 people who work there to over for me. I'm not sure how well that will work, but I think they will definitely want me back, so that's good!

Hope you enjoyed your takeaway & still had time to stick to the rota! It's v committed of you to do it that late at night. We never do it late at night, by the time we go to bed we want to sleep. It was convenient that T finishes work at 3!

Your snow holidays sound v cool, I'd love to do that. Have you picked up any Croatian from your niece & nephew? My cousins wife who is pregnant is South African & speaks Afrikaans, but they haven't taught it to their daughter - I think that's such a waste. If you teach children from when they're tiny, they pick it up so much more easily. 

What are you up to today? (Apart from DTD of course!!) We're going to an NCT sale this morning. I've no idea what we need to look for, but we just want the experience of going to one as have obviously never been. Then we're off to the cinema to see Man of Steel (another film I don't want to see) I've been promised ice cream though, so I'm looking forward to that bit (I'm like a little child!!).

Have you seen your robin again? We've got a bird table in the garden & yesterday there was a baby sparrow on there being fed seed by its mum - it was v cute. It could fly, but only had little wings & was flapping them & chirrping to ask for food.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I know im excited by my positive opk! Its i will ovulate (hooefully!)in the next 48hours. We dtd last night and today was supposed to be a rest but i cant now! Hopefully we can manage to keep dtd until i get a temp rise. Im not telling R about the smiley incase it gives him stage fright.

Our friends didnt stay to late last night. They left at 11.30pm which is a lot earlier than sometimes! We had a nice indian feast and then did some balloon modeling lol. She got me that for my birthday & it was so much fun!! Hollie was scared of the balloons though. As our friends were both drinking they left their car and got a taxi home. Ive just tied a balloon around their wing mirror before i left for work!

I saw a robin again yesterday, dont know if it was the same one. We ran over a baby rabbit yesterday on the main road :-(. R tried to avoid it but couldnt. It made us feel so guilty. 

Shame the boy didnt get the job but at least u know there will be a place for u to return after your ML. 

I didnt watch BB last night. Did u? I will have to catch up later today.

Im starting work now. Have a nice ice-cream at the cinema! 

P.s whats an NCT sale??

Xxx


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## Pansy

NCT is National Childbirth Trust. We're doing our antenatal course with them. They have "nearly new" sales every 6 months or so where they sell child & baby related stuff. Do you not have them round you? Everyone is always going on about them here it seems! My cousins wife got loads of her stuff there. 

Lol at the balloon round the wing mirror. I'd love to see ther faces when they see that!

Oh no re rabbit, it's horrible when that happens, but you can't do anything about it. T hit a deer a few weeks ago - he felt so bad. But you just can't avoid them sometimes. 

You must be some suducttress to get R to DTD without telling him you're ovulating! I always had to tell T, otherwise he wouldn't bother doing it that day! I don't think we could have managed every day. This time we did do it 3 days in a row cos we were on hol, so maybe that's how I got the BPF. Don't think I ovulated till the next weekend though.

Better go & fight the bargain hunters!! Have fun at work! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Ive finished work now. Just about to have a bath at my mums house. We only have a shower at home & i prefer a bath. 

There was more drama outside my studio today. A bus crashed with a car. I dont think it was a bad accident but lots of police came lol. It hard to get the children to concentrate on dancing when they want to look out the window. They have ballet exams next week so i need them to try their best.

R prefers dtd if he thinks i want him and not just a baby lol. He asks if i got a smiley face yet but i tell him no. If he decided to not dtd then id have to tell him the truth lol. But he does get stage fright if he feels pressured to perform lol. 

I hope u find some bargins! Ive heard of baby nearly new sales but not NCT before. 

I hope u have a nice evening xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

P.s 
all i can say in Croatian is "no" lol i think their mum says it a lot so ive pick it up  x


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## Pansy

Morning!

Lol that you have picked up "no" - that says a lot!

Oh dear about another crash! Why is the road so dangerous? Is there a bad junction or something? I bet it is tricky to keep the kids attention! Good luck to them with the exams.

Have you still got a smiley today? I'm having a little celebration with baby as today is V Day! I hadn't heard of this before, but apparently today is the day when the baby becomes something beginning with v,... I remember viable! (I was thinking valid!) So there is a chance baby could survive if born & drs would try to save him. I feel like I've been waiting to get to this milestone for ages! (Hope me telling you this doesn't upset you)

The sale yesterday was completely manic! You had to grab anything you saw quickly! We didn't really see anything we wanted. I bought a little snowman suit for Christmas for £1.50, but I thought it was 0-3 months but its actually 3-6 so will probably be too big. If it is, I expect I can sell it on eBay in Dec! 

The film was complete rubbish, I was bored throughout! I enjoyed Star Trek more, which is saying something! T was disappointed with it, as he was looking forward to it for months, so I feel bad for him. He thought it was better than I did though.

We're off to see my Dad today. I think my mum is cooking lunch. T says it's D's last Father's Day as next year it will be his!! I think he will have to share! A part of me wishes I had bought him a card this year, but next year will be more special. Do you find today hard or are you used to it? T's Dad died in 2007, but he was a terrible Dad - he was an alcoholic & basically took no interest in T or his sister. They would visit him & their gran every Sunday & he would ignore them the whole time. T gave up on contacting him when he went to uni. That was a cheery story for a Sunday morning, sorry, I don't know why I went in to all that!

Changing the subject completely, have you watched BB? I'm watching last nights now. How do they manage to always get someone who is shocked by the sharing beds & the rationing of food? Have they never watched the programme??! I can't believe 2 of the girls are fighting already! I'm so glad I've never known any nasty girls like that.

Better get on. What are you up to today? Hope the weather is better there than here - it's grey & horrible. It was tipping it down yesterday. Hope the sun comes back before I go away next week!

xxx

PS Baby has been a papaya for weeks!


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Yes i think your baby is a fruit for 2 weeks from now rather than 1 week.
Great about the baby being viable! Are u getting a bump where people can see u are expecting? That mother from dancing doesnt seem to have a bump so i dont know if she is still pregnant or not.
I think its good that u want to make next fathers day special by not doing now. I'd probably do the same.
Im used to fathers day without a dad. It does make me think and feel a bit sad but nothing major. 

We are going to see Rs dad and have a BBQ. I hope it doesnt rain! It's also our nephews birthday (another cake) so it's a double celebration. Our nephew is 11 and we bought him a remote control helicopter. When shopping R bought a full 4 player badminton set from Tesco for £2.25! Its amazing! We played in the garden together last night lol. 
So we both picked up bargins yesterday!! The snowman suit sounds cute.

We dtd last night and i still have a positive smiley opk this morning. My nipples are feeling slightly sore now. I hope i ovulate soon! 

Yes there are some nasty girls on BB. I dont like all those tatoos. Do u or T have any? We dont. I cant believe the way they were speaking to each other. I dont like people who think its ok to insult someone to their face because they are not saying it behind their back. Crazy girls!

Is it your MW appointment tomorrow? Good luck.

Have a good day! Xxx

P.s sorry the film was rubbish. I hope the ice-cream was nice


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## Pansy

Hello!

Did your BBQ go well? Hope it stayed dry. It rained here all day. Did your nephew like the helicopter? I can't believe your badminton set was so cheap, that's really good. We used to have a badminton set in the garden when I was younger, it was great fun. I do t think we'd have room for one in our garden now lol. I'm looking forward to trying to beat T at table tennis next week!

I definitely have a bump. Most of my clothes don't fit me now. A top I wore 2 weekends ago is now really tight on me - shame cos I'd only just found it in my cupboard & it was comfy! I've had to buy a maternity swimming costume too which I will try out later today. If you didn't know I was pregnant, you might still think I'm just a bit podgy, but I think it's getting more bump like. I think you'd def see some weight gain at least on the mum at your dancing.

Midwife today at 10:45. My midwife rang on Fri eve to say it won't be her, as she's away, which is a shame, as I like her. A different midwife rang yest AM to ask if I could move the appointment from PM to AM. T can't go now, which will be strange, he's been to all the appointments with me so far, but he isn't needed for this one. He said it was better just to go without him rather than having to wait longer for appointment. There is one midwife we had a chat with last time who we don't like as she was putting too much pressure on me to have the baby there rather than in hospital, so I'm glad it's not her I'm seeing today!

Are you still getting smilies? If you stop, does that mean you're in the TWW or do you have to wait for the temp rise to confirm it?

We don't have tattoos, I don't like them either. I think if I'd found out T had a tattoo before I met him (he asked when we were emailing) it would have put me off. If I found it he smoked, that would have been a complete deal breaker, I wouldn't have even met up with him! Maybe I would have missed out, but then he wouldn't be the person he is if he smoked.

My mum & I went to visit my Grandma yesterday. It is so hard to make conversation with her, as her dementia is so bad that she can't really follow a conversation anymore. She said a few things were pretty & worried about the other people that were there, but she didnt know who we were. She was quite happy though, so at least that was something. It was much harder when she was more with it & was upset & wanting to leave all the time. Dementia is such a horrible illness.

T hurt his back by just bending over yesterday! Not good! I'm worried about him at work, as its a physical job & I don't want him to make it worse. He is normally really fit & healthy, but he's randomly had a sore neck since my birthday & now a sore back. Maybe he needs to go to a physio for exercises or come swimming with me. There's a pool on holiday, but it's meant to be cold according to the reviews. Maybe I can get him to swim then. He doesn't like swimming much.

Have a good day! Good luck with the seducing if you're still on the DTD every day phase!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello!

We had a lovely time yesterday with the inlaws. It didnt rain at all so we sat outside to BBQ then took Hollie for a walk and played ball games with our niece & nephew on the field. 

Strange that T has a sore neck & back because R gets the same. The first time i tried clomid we couldnt dtd because he was too sore. He had to get tablets and it went away but he has got it a few times from just doing his hair too fast! Its a sudden jerky movement that sets it off. Ts sounds the same. R got a few exercises to do from the doctor too. I hope T is ok.

Im exactly the same about tatoos and smoking! Id never date a smoker either. When i met R he told me he had a tatoo & i had to find it! Lol but he didnt have any. I dont see how u could tell your children not to smoke or get tatoos if u do these things yourself. 

My nanna had dementia. It is horrible. Your have lost the person once dementia takes over. Its so sad. At least your grandma was happy, u can take some comfort from that. 

We dtd again last night! Doing well! My opk is negative today and my temp has gone up slightly but not as high as normal. Im confused, if i have ovulated or not!? I dont know yet. I hope i have but id expect my temp to rise higher to confirm. Tomorrow might tell me more.

I hope your MW appointment goes well. Let me know what happened. Im at work later today..... see if there are anymore dramas outside my studio. The road has become dangerous because they have built a mini Tesco opposite and there is a new entrance for it over the busy road.....too much to look for when turning right from my shopping parade. 

Have a good day xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

How's your temp today? (Only people who've experienced TTC would think that was an appropriate opening question lol!) If its risen, will you stop DTD/ ease off or do you keep going just in case?

How weird R gets sore neck & back too. I think T should definitely do something to strengthen his back. Maybe he could get exercises from dr too. He seemed less sore in his back yest, but the neck is still sore. He overslept by 20mins today so left in a big hurry. I was awake so woke him, but wasn't sure when he was actually getting up. 

MW appt went well, except I forgot to ask for a form I need for maternity leave. I'm not sure if I actually need to hand it in yet, or just need to have it. I might ask if they will post it to me. My BP & urine were fine & baby's HB was regular. I've been booked in for NHS maternity classes now, as well as the NCT ones. They are a month apart, so it will be like a refresher!

My colleague who stinks of cigarettes & perfume is actually making me dread going to work today. I will only be with her for 30mins, but she makes me feel so sick. At least I only have 2 days this week & then a week off.

Tues is your day off isn't it? Are you doing anything? Is R working today? 

I'd better go & get ready for work. Hope you have a good day & that your temp rose!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Yes my temp went up! My nipples are really sore and we dtd last night. Im going to stop dtd so much now, tired out! We dtd 5 nights in a row, im so pleased we managed it! Hopefully im in with a chance of a bfp if i ovulated from my working tube. FX! Im supposed to be 3dpo now. I want AF to stay away!!!!

My brother told me yesterday that his wifes sisters dog (king charles spaniel) died and it was only 2 years old. In the night it was jumping up the kitchen worktop to try to get something and its collar got caught on a knob draw handle and it hung itself. So sad :-(. Her sister (who has special needs) came down yesterday morning to find her dog hanging. Its such a tragic thing to happen. I cant stop thinking about it. We always take Hollies collar off at night. The poor dog :-(

The weather looks lovely today. It was grey and cloudy yesterday. R is working today so im going to chill out! Might do a bit of gardening and baking. I like to make shortbread...yum yum!! 

Im glad all went well at MW. 
I hope u manage ok around your smokey work friend. Smoke smells bad usually so being pregnant must make it even worse! 

Have a good day! 
X


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Yey that your temp was still up! I really hope it was the working tube, as you've certainly done all you can. Keeping my fingers crossed for you! Do you have a 14 day TWW? My TWW used to be about 11 days I think!

That's so horrible about your brothers sisters dog. Poor thing! I've never thought of leaving the collar on as being dangerous. My parents have always left Tal's collar on. He's too old to jump up & down now, but it could still be dangerous. I will let me mum know, although the story will really upset her. So sad. 

We've had a smell coming from our garage for a few days - we thought the neighbour's cat had got in & do e something. We spent ages investigating yesterday, smelling things to try to locate the smell. We narrowed it down to a box of pasta packs (T eats pasta for lunch every day instead of sandwiches so he buys a box of about 12 packs from amazon as its cheaper). We took the outside & T opened it- there was a huge dead rat in there!!! T is really squeamish & he was jumping all over the place & wouldn't look again. I had a look & ran a mile too! I really hope our neighbours couldn't see us! Looking back it was quite amusing, but at the time it was very minging! We didn't know what to do with it & neither of us wanted to get it out of the box or put it in the car to take it to the tip, so we just shut the box & put it in the dustbin! We realised after our bin doesn't go for almost 2 weeks, so that's going to be lovely for the bin men!

You must think we're really gross with our ants & now a rat! We do clean, honest! Well you know we do, we have a cleaner!! She's on holiday today so I'm quite looking forward to a peaceful day of tidying & packing. 

Who do you think will go in BB? I think Gina (? The one that's not Sallie) will go, unless someone else does something before Fri. I find Michael really creepy. I guess it's just cos he's acting, but I'd hate to live with him!

Work was quite stressful yesterday, mainly cos I know I'm about to take a week off & have loads to do beforehand. My boss keeps coming up with tasks she wants me to do before I go on maternity leave & doesn't realise how long they will all take. I will have to do extra hours, but don't know how I will manage that. I'll sort it out when I'm back from hol.

Did you bake anything yesterday? I'm guessing not chocolate cake?! T was in a baking phase before I got pregnant & hated all smells. On the day we conceived, he was baking bread at 6am so he was literally putting all sorts of buns in ovens that day lol! How are your daisys getting on in the garden? We've got 2 patio apple trees in pots & this is the first year they've flowered. We've now got loads of tiny apples, it's v exciting! I hope they stay on & work!

Hope you have a good day! Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

My temp has stayed up but FF has moved my ovulation day from cd15 to cd16 so i am still 3dpo today! Its like ground hog day! My tww was 12 days on my first round of clomid then the second time i got my bfp, but i would expect it could be slightly longer. I think i would wait until af was late to test. 

The rat sounds horrible. I would of been the same and scared of it. R is good at dealing with things, he even catches spiders and put them outside whereas id just squash them! Although we would of left it in the box and put it in the wheelie bin too lol. 

Tell your boss if she is giving u far too much work. She obviously doesnt understand what u do or how long tasks take. We dont want u being stressed or overworked. 

I think Gina or Sallie will go. I want Sallie to go as she drives me mad lol. She is so selfish and self centered. Although i didnt like the way Gina had that argument accusing Jemima of being racist! 
Michael is creepy! Even when he is out of character i find him a bit strange. His eyes stare and he is uneasy. I wouldnt want to be in the house with a lot of them but especially Sallie as id feel very intimidated by her. 

I baked shortbread yesterday.....no not chocolate cake lol. Id almost eaten it all by the time R got home from work. I didnt get any gardening done so i will do that today. My dasiys arent growing :-( but i cant see the neighbours growing yet either, maybe theres still time. 

Have u started packing yet? Are u looking forward to going away and spending time together? Its lovely to have a full week away from work. 
Im going to book a couple of nights away for our anniversay in July then a weeks holiday at the end of August somewhere with Hollie. 

I hope your apples dont drop off! Have a good day! 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

Lol at you eating the shortbread before R came home! I love shortbread. T made lovely chocolate shortbread once - I think it was cocoa powder instead of some of the flower. It was so nice!

Did you do any gardening yesterday? We did some weeding. It was so hot! I was able to wear my favourite summer dress - it always makes me feel so happy when I've got that on! I'm amazed it still fits, it won't for much longer.

I've got quite a bit of packing done, so I'm feeling a lot more calm than I did before Boscastle. I've still got all day Fri to finish it off. It will be lovely to have some time that's just us, we always feel so much more bonded after a week together without interruptions. It seems odd that we're not going abroad, it doesn't seem as exciting somehow, but a holiday is a holiday wherever it is. After the heat of yesterday, I'm glad I'm not going anywhere hotter, I wouldn't be able to do anything but sit around. 

That'll be nice going away for your anniversary. Will it be the same brand of hotels as where you got married? Who will look after Hollie while you're away?

When is AF due? Might your cycles still be a bit odd? How long did you wait last time? I was 3 days late, but only 14 DPO.

I'm off to pregnancy yoga this evening I hope. I tried to go last week, even went to the location, but it was cancelled. I don't really know anything about yoga - I did it once when I had ME but found it very dull. I hope this will be more interesting. Or maybe I'll be better at relaxing now I'm older! One of my closest friends swears by it & is really flexible. I don't know what I'm meant to take with me - I feel v like a new girl!

It was meant to rain today but no sign of it yet. My hayfever is playing up so I'm actually hoping for rain to wash the pollen away. I can only use a nose spray ths year & it's not as good as tablets. Do you or R have hayfever?

Hope you have a good day.

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning!

We dont have hayfever but my SIL does and she is allergic to Hollie! Her nose gets blocked and her eyes get red and watery. I will do a rain dance for u lol.

The weather was warm here too and i cut the grass and trimmed a few bushes lol. I didnt go a lot. Ive been lazy the last two days.

Im working today and all weekend so i will be busy! I think i need to keep busy as the time is going so slow. Im 4dpo now. 
Last time i tested at 15dpo on 1st feb. I will be 15dpo this time on 1st July. Im taking that as a good sign lol. I will hold out til then to test but im sure af will of arrived before then.

I almost booked our hotel yesterday but R needs to find out if he can have the days off work. Yes i want to go in another Macdonald hotel. Tick another one off my list . My mum will look after Hollie when we go away. 

Im glad u have started your packing and still have plenty of time left to finish. Im sure u will have a lovely holiday in UK especially if the weather stays nice.

Ive never done yoga. I used to teach pilates. Its quite similar i think, mat based. People take a bottle of water and a hand towel, usually mats are provided id expect. Wear socks because u will probably take your shoes off and can get cramp exercising in bare feet. I hope u enjoy it and its not cancelled! 

Im off to perform my rain dance....
Bye for now xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

Happy longest day of the year lol! Stonehenge keeps being on breakfast news, so its reminding me. We'll be driving past Stonehenge tomorrow, it's about an hour away fom us in the London direction.

Thanks for the rain dance lol! It didn't work unfortunately, but the pollen didn't seem quite as bad yest. Maybe it was cos I was in the office all day. I made it clear to my boss I already had too much to do when she tried to add extra tasks yesterday & it seemed to work, although didnt stop her trying to add more. At least I finished on time so I coukd go to yoga. Yoga was quite good - at first it was just breathing & I thought "what have I got myself in to?!". But then we did loads of tricky stretches & it really felt like I was doing some exercise. If I keep it up, it will probably be really useful. There was a lady there who was 39 weeks 1 day & managing all the exercises better than I was! It's expensive though - it costs £12 a session! T thinks its worth it, but I find that a lot. How much do you charge for your lessons?

Why do you have to work on Sun? Is it cos of the exams? I'm sorry time is dragging, the TWW seems to be the slowest time ever (well, apart from maybe the first few weeks of PG & waiting for scans). You've done all you can, but there's still so long to wait. Hopefully keeping busy will help. Have you got more birthdays to go to or are all your June bdays done now? I really hope AF stays away. When I get back from hol it won't be that long to wait. Maybe my hol will go as quickly for you as it will for me!

I was tempted to do Pilates for my sciatica last year, but didnt get round to it. What made you stop teaching it? 

Hope R can get time off for your anniversary. Which hotel are you thinking of? Maybe planning that & your August break will help take your mind off things.

Hope today goes quickly for you & then that'll be one less day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello.

Im keeping so busy ive only just got time to reply. Im looking after my 7 month old nephew at the moment, he has just gone to sleep. He is such a good baby and always laughing but he hit himself on the head with a plastic toy! He had a red mark but its ok now.

Yesterday i was extremely busy. We have finished my mums kitchen but it makes the living room/dinning room look old fashioned so i want to decorate it for her. I stripped off all the wallpaper and cut an edge round the carpet so it will be easier to paint. I did so much work, ive got 3 blizters on my hand and a massive bruise on my leg where the hoover fell on me and i had a splinter in my hand too!! Lol then i went to dancing... i was tired out!! 
But keeping busy is passing the days.

Do u go away today or tomorrow? If its today then have a lovely time 

Im glad u enjoyed yoga. Is it an hour lesson? I charged £4 for an hour of pilates which is quite expensive. A lady teaches it now instead of me and charges £3.50. I think prices down south are usually higher with everything. I stopped teaching pilates because i dont enjoy teaching adults, i prefer children....more on my wave length lol.

This Sunday are the ballet exams 9am-5pm. I need to do all the paperwork today. 

It was my SIL birthday yesterday and my friends wedding anniversary today. No more chocolate cake now! Shame, i actually fancy one now 

Hope u have a nice day and get your packing finished  xxx


----------



## Pansy

Aww, how sweet that you're looking after your nephew! Poor thing, knocking himself on the head. I bet you feel bad tho, having to hand him back with a red mark! Never mind, these things happen!

Yey that you've finished the kitchen! Brilliant that that's all done. Oh dear that you've made a new job for yourself tho! And that you've caused yourself so many injuries!

I can't believe your Pilates classes were so cheap! The teacher is part of a natural health clinic in quite a well off town, so I think that doesn't help (even though class is entirely separate & in a village hall). There are also no other pregnancy related classes round here, so she can charge what she wants.

Good luck with the paperwork, hope it isn't too tedious! We're off tomorrow early morning. I can't think of anything more to pack, although I'm sure there must be something. I don't know what the weather will be like so I've packed for all conditions. T will not be happy when he sees! I don't do minimal packing!

xxx


----------



## Pansy

Ooh, you've changed from "broody" to "hopeful", that's good! Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Yes im feeling hopeful right now . Lots of ladies on my 'bfp by oct' thread are getting their bfps! It gives me hope... oh im going to be dissapointed i bet! But keeping hopeful at the moment!

The red mark had gone off my nephews head by the time his mum came home but i still told her about it. She goes back to work on 1st July and i will be looking after him every tues morning and fri all day so im just practising in preparation! 

Im at my mums now. We have just eaten a massive roast dinner  yummy!! R is doing a spot of DIY then we will be going home to watch BB and eat ben & jerrys cookie dough ice-cream in bed!! 

Ive half done my exam paperwork, i can finish it tomorrow.

Im quite good at not packing too much but then id probably forget half of what we need. Does T not help pack? R never does. He doesnt even know what ive packed him until he sees on hols! There is no way i could go away and not know what i was going to be wearing! 

I hope u have a brilliant holiday xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Happy Holiday!!!! X


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

(Don't read this if you haven't watched BB) I'm so glad Sallie went! She really didnt do herself any favours in her interview or Michael's. What a nasty girl! Hope you enjoyed your ice cream in bed.

That's good that people on your thread have got BPFs? How many? How long after their loses? Definitely good to be hopeful, there's no point not being. I don't know if I'll have reception on hol & if T gets up at same time as me I won't be able to write, but do keep me updated with your news. Have you ever given in and tested early? I used to get so close to doing it, but in the end I wouldn't want the disappointment. There may have been times when I tested after AF arrived tho, just cos I couldn't believe it had really happened. T always wanted to be with me when I tested. You tested when R was at work didn't you? Would you do that again?

That's lovely that you'll be looking after your nephew. What's his name? You'll be able to bond with him so well. Do they live near?

T packs his own clothes, I usually pack his underwear & everything else & then tell him to pack everything he has forgotten. I couldn't cope with the responsibility of choosing all his outfits for him lol! He's probably more into clothes than I am, he definitely likes clothes shopping more than I do & I often think he is better dressed than I am! I think it's easier for men. It definitely is at the moment - I have so few clothes that actually fit comfortably. I also have a really bad tendency to spill food down my bump! I didn't used to spill food before, i think its cos I'm further from the table. I've got to try to keep my clothes clean on hol - I think I'm going to cover myself in serviettes before eating anything!!

Sounds like T has woken up so I had better go & get dressed and pack the last few things. It's a 3 hour journey, nothing compared to what we do when we go to France, but I expect it will still seem long enough.

Hope you have a good weekend & a good week if I can't talk to you. Good luck to the kiddies with the exams.

Talk to you soon. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Im going to miss u!!
I will still write to u and look forward to u writting again. 

I didnt have time to watch BB last night (saw corrie instead) so i didnt read what u wrote  thanks for the warning.

My brother, his wife & my nephew live in my village so only 3 min drive to their house. Infact, my brother bought back our family home that we grew up in. My mum sold it in 2000 and we had lived there all our lives so its a special house to us. My brother bought it in 2012. So i love going there to see them. My nephew is called James. He has the same initials as i had with my maiden name. I was given the same initials as my dad who was called John. My middle name is Amy. Do u have a middle name? Will u give your baby a middle name?

I have never tested early but i do get tempted as the ladies on the thread are getting their bfps early. Im going to my hospital appointment on thursday when i will be 11dpo im tempted to test that morning but dont think i will. I think i will test when R is home but not tell him im testing unless i see a line. Im 6dpo now so time is passing . 

Finished dancing for today but need to go back later to set up for exams. Having a chinese now...yum yum!!!!

Take care hun. I hope the journey was ok. Have a fab hol xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hope you have had a good start to your hol.

I watched BB. So glad Sallie went. She is such a nasty girl. She made a right fool of herself during her interview. I wish she hadnt of been still sat there during Michaels interview. She was so selfish chipping in all the time lol.

The ballet exams went well. Im tired out now. Got modern exams next Sunday.....no rest for the wicked! 
Im thinking of testing on thursday morning before my hospital appointment.....cant decide. 
Im 7dpo now and i had sore boobs at 7dpo on my bfp cycle. Ive got no symptoms so far! 

Anyway, thought id write incase u get chance to read.

Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

You're an eggplant!!! X


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

Thanks for your messages, it's lovely to still have updates.

What does R think re testing on Thurs? I can see why it would be good to know before your hospital appt. it's tricky, cos if it was negative, you still could be PG as its so early. 11dpo right? As long as it doesn't make you give up hope, it probably wouldn't do any harm. But then it might not be conclusive. Tricky! Sorry I'm not being much help! But it's your decision. 

We're having a lovely time here. The lodge is really nice, much more modern than I was expecting, must've been redone recently. T & I have been having a table tennis tournament - its 2 all so far! We've also played table football (I'm rubbish!) & pool. Haven't been swimming - the pool is indoors but feels v cold. No time so far anyway!

Yest we went to Leeds Castle. Pretty grounds. We got lost in maze for ages! There were peacocks there displaying - I haven't seen a peacock for years. They reminded me of brides!

Today we're off to the seaside! Margate & other places along the north coast of Kent. It was vaguely warm yesterday but no rain, we're hoping for better today. We also went to a chocolate cafe yest - had milkshake & chocolate crepe - yum!

Glad your exams went well. Let me know if I miss anything good on BB. Internet is rubbish here so I hope this posts! 

Have a good day & week if i cant post again. xxx


----------



## Pansy

PS James is a really nice name. It is a name that both T & I chose when asked for an opinion. My brothers middle name is James cos I chose it when 3. T's nephew's middle name is James as that's what T chose when 25! We found this out before we met, when we were emailing!

My middle name is Frances. Baby will definitely have a middle name. I love the name Amy. We can't have a name beginning with A as our surname is a profession, so it would be like calling the baby "A Zookeeper"!! 

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

Im glad u are having a lovely time, visiting lots of places and the lodge is nice. Its fun that u are playing games together. Let me know who is the TT champ once the week is up .

Im 8dpo now. No symptoms. I havent spoke to R about testing. I think he would think it was wrong to test early. Last time i got pregnant 2-3weeks on cb digital at 15dpo so i didnt get to see the 1-2weeks. I will just see how i feel on Thurs.

Lucky that u didnt get rain yesterday, it was thunder and lightening here and raining heavily! 

My other nephews middle name is James. I think my brothers just really like James Bond so name their children after him . 
My nannas name was Amy. 
My brothers MIL is called Frances. 
I wonder what your surname is? Lol probably not zookeeper .

Im going to watch my nieces sports day this afternoon as long the rain doesnt cancel it. 

Enjoy Margate! That reminds me of Del Boy coz they go on a jolly boys outing episode.

Have fun xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Im going to look after baby James again today. 
Im 9dpo now and no symptoms. Im comparing temps and symptoms from my clomid bfp and clomid bfn cycle. Its looking like the bfn! :-(

Hope your having a good time xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

Hope you have a lovely time with James. It's a shame your symptoms aren't the same, but maybe it doesn't rule you out yet. It could just mean a different pregnancy this time. Maybe you would only get those symptoms with first pregnancy. I don't want to give you false hope, but you're not out yet. Or maybe it was wrong tube & you'll get lucky next time. 

It was so windy & cold by the sea yest! We didn't see the sun all day! Whitstable had some nice quirky shops. Margate was faded, Ramsgate had lots of posh boats. We played crazy golf twice - I won a free game by getting the ball in the last hole & making a bell ring (v loudly, for ages!!). T beat me in both games, but the first was v close - 1 stroke in it. 

We're going round some national trust properties & going to an outlet village. Hopefully we'll be home early as we have an early start for our trip to France tomorrow. 

Did the sports day go ahead? It would be cool if my surname was zookeeper! I don't like my married name, I'm always coming up with alternatives for T to change his name to - I haven't tried zookeeper yet!!

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Sports day went ahead, it was nice to watch all the children. It's been a sunny day today so i took James out in his pram. I only got home an hour ago and as i was feeling broody i did a ic hpt. It was stark white, a total BFN. I know its too early but some people do get BFP's at 9dpo and it wasnt FMU but i had an urge so just took a chance lol. Really don't think i will be pregnant this month but if AF comes in good time and ive had a regular cycle then i will be happy with that! Ive got more clomid, so more chances!

It's a shame you dont like your married name. I actually prefer my madien name too but my married name is fine. I have wellies with my maiden name on!!! Theres a big clue 

Enjoy your time in France xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Bonjour! 

Have a fab time in France today.

Bon voyage! Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

So confused about what country I've woken up in today lol! We had a lovely day yesterday - we explored a couple of towns & drove along the coast. We went round a huge supermarket & T stocked up on wine for Christmas & giving to people when we go round for meals. I stocked up on chocolate! We bought some cakes at the end of the day which we haven't eaten, so we've still got them to look forward to today!

I'm exhausted today & I assume T is too as he's still asleep. Hope we have a quieter day today! 

Sorry you got a bfn, but as said it was early and not fmu. Have you redone it today? Good luck with your hospital appointment, I hope they find everything is back to how it should be. Do you know if it will be a chat or if they will be doing any tests? Let me know how you get on. 

Thats a big clue to your maiden name, I can only think of one brand of wellies! My maiden name was a girls name, so at school I was always annoyed by my teachers calling me by my surname! At least with my new name that wouldnt happen!

Good luck for today. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Thanks, our appointment is at 2pm. Im not even sure what will happen! I cant be there long though as i need to get to work. 
I tested yesterday fmu and today 11dpo fmu and both bfn. Nevermind, i wasnt expecting to see a bfp, i just enjoyed testing. I dont know why im doing it as i normally wait .

Sounds like u are having a fun*packed holiday. U have done loads. Wine, chocolate & cake...yummy!! 
What day do u travel home? 

Your maiden name could be Lynsey or Hannah? I know people with those girls name surnames. 
Im guessing your married name to be; bingocaller or roadsweeper!! Lol or Tailor? 
Im not very good at these guessing games. 

I hope u enjoy the rest of your hol and can chill out a bit today. Have fun

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

How did you get on? Hope it went well & didn't bring it all back for you.

We're home early today & eating in the lodge. We've been for a walk along the white cliffs of Dover, which was really pretty. 

I haven't heard of anyone with either of those names as a surname! I don't think there are many people with my maiden name. I'll give you a clue, my initials were a chemical that used to be in aerosols & is blamed for green house effect!

Hope you got on ok. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

CFC....is that right? Was your surname Carol??
Does your married name begin with an H?
I love these guessing games.

Ive got af cramps now :-(.

Hospital appointment went well. It did bring it back and i felt like crying at times but stayed strong. Doc said i might fall pregnant naturally now but if not pregnant in 6 months to take clomid.....opps! I stayed quiet but R told him i had already taken clomid and he said ok thats fine. He said we should have a healthy baby next time FX. I said i have less chances because of my blocked tube and he told us my working tube can pick up the egg from either ovary! Id heard this before but not from a pro. I came out the appointment feeling hopeful. So if af comes i am hopeful for a new cycle.
Also next time im pregnant i will get more care and extra scans. We asked for a copy of our babies notes as they take them away and he will send us them in the post. I just hope i can get bfp asap and live happily ever after!!

Walking along the white cliffs of Dover sounds lovely. Hope u have had a relaxing day.

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Yep, I was CFC. When I was little I used to find it strange that egg boxes had "CFC free" written on them! My surname wasn't Carol though.

My married name doesn't begin with an H. It's earlier in the alphabet than that, although my children will be further down the register than I was!

I'm glad your appointment sounded hopeful. Oops re the clomid - I'm glad that's fine tho. That's amazing that either tube can pick up the egg - I thought they were far apart! It's good that you're not necessarily at a disadvantage. Shame you've got AF cramps now. At least it's not an extra long cycle. You'll be able to get on to the next cycle soon. 

Who's up for eviction on BB? I don't know if I remember any of their names! Who do you think will go?

It's meant to rain here today so I'm not sure what we're up to. It's our last full day, we drive back tomorrow. The table tennis is v tense - 4 tournaments each! Today will be the decider. T is thrashing me at pool & table football so we've stopped counting them!!

Have you got James again today? Or does that not start yet? Hope you have a good day, whatever you're doing. 

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Ive been looking after James again today. Home now and staying in to watch films with R tonight....lucky me lol. 

Is your maiden name Claire? 

In BB Dexter and Jemima are up for eviction. Gina was up too but got saved by the public earlier in the week. Gina did well in the shopping task so deserved to stay. I hope Jemima goes tonight!

Good luck with your TT. Hope u can win! 

Ive got more dance exams this Sunday so need to do more paperwork. Not long til the end of term. I break up for the summer on 21st July. 

Have a lovely last night on holiday and a safe journey home tomorrow.

Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

I hope u have had a fab hol and the journey home was ok. 

Ive been working all day. So tired now. 

Im 13dpo now but didnt bother testing today. Im sure af will be here soon. 

How are u? I hope u havent been sick anymore. Is baby moving around a lot? Have u bought anything else for baby yet? 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

I'm home! My bed seemed so comfortable last night! It's weird having stairs again lol!

How are you today? Has AF arrived? I hope not, but then if its going to, hope it doesn't keep you waiting. What film did you watch on Fri? My friend has told me I have to watch Despicable Me so I've told T I'm not watching anything else till I've watched that! Lets see how long my resolve lasts!!

You have guessed my maiden name, well done! We are waiting for one of my brother's to fall in love with a Clare so they can become Clare Clare! My aunt's middle name is Claire so she became Elly Claire Clare when she married my uncle!

I'm ok. I've found I get so exhausted after a few hours of walking around & my feet kill. I'm still feeling sick in the morning, until I've had lunch. I was sick before we went to France, but I think that's cos I got up so early. I managed to eat out ok on hol, with only a few dodgy moments. 

Baby is moving lots! When I got home yest, he was doing massive kicks, I think he was excited to be home! T has felt baby kick twice, which I really like. The midwife said because my placenta is anterior, there will be an area where I can't feel baby kick which will be the size of a dinner plate. Baby goes missing for a while, like a whole morning, when he's hiding behind the placenta. Even though I know it's fine, it always makes me worry & I end up thinking "please kick" & then when he comes back, he gives me a proper pounding & I end up thinking that's enough lol!

When we were in France, we bought baby a puppet & Sophie the Giraffe teething toy - T has wanted this after reading about it on mums net, I've never heard of it. You can get it on amazon, but it's made in France, so it was nice to get it from the right country.

(I really hope me answering your questions about baby hasn't upset you, esp if AF has arrived)

Are the exams all day today? I'm not sure what we'll do today, apart from lots of washing! Probably go & visit family. I might try to watch Fridays BB to see who was evicted. 

Good luck with the exams. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

AF has just arrived. Booo! But on the positive side i had another 29 day cycle on clomid so it makes me regular. Cant wait to try again!

James has a sophie giraffe! It squeaks and he does like to chew it but he chews everything at the moment lol.

I better go get read for exams. Catch up later.

Im glad baby is ok and enjoyed the hol 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

What a shame that AF has arrived. I'm sorry to hear that. But at least it was a short cycle. How are you feeling today? I always felt worse about AF starting by CD2 than on 1, hope you don't feel the same. 

How did the exams go? Is that them all done now? When do the results come through? 

We went to see my Large Blue Butterfly Ranger brother yesterday. We searched the hill where he works & eventually found him chatting to some members of the public. He seems much more confident since he went to Malaysia. I guess it's just cos he's 20, he's growing up! We had tea with my parents & my aunt who was staying with them, so that was nice.

We also went to see T's mum. My niece & youngest nephew were there with SIL too so the house was very full. We took them to the park to give everyone some peace. They seemed to enjoy that. 

We live half an hour from the Glastonbury festival. We're expecting the traffic everywhere to be really bad today, with all the people leaving. I'm hoping our route to the supermarket via the lanes will be ok, but all the main roads will be jammed. We're not used to this much traffic here! We drove passed the site yest on the way to my parents - it always amazes me how big it is. It's just a field the rest of the year. My oldest brother is friends with Michael Eavis' stepson so he gets a free ticket every year! Emily Eavis, who's taking over the running of the festival, was in the year above me at school & in my "house", so I remember her well. It's weird to think what she's doing now. 

Hope you have a good day. Is it today you have James or is it Tuesday? xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Morning!
Sounds like u had a nice day yesterday catching up with family. I've never been to Glastonbury festival have u? Hope the traffic is not too bad so u can get your shopping. 

Clare Clare would be funny! I like that . 

Exams went well thanks. Got some amazingly high marks. I find out their marks at the end of the exam session and then tell the children in their next lesson. Thats all the exams done! .....and relax! Lol

I look after James Tuesdays & Fridays so i will be there tomorrow. 
Today ive got a relaxing morning before dancing. Im really tired from working the full weekend again. I'm still in bed at the moment. I must get up as Hollie will be crossing her legs! Lol

Did u watch BB. I'm pleased with who went last Friday. 

Cd2 now. I'm feeling fine about af coming. It is a shame but i was too busy yesterday to think about it and didnt get upset. I start my clomid again tonight so i'm focusing on that. I had a 29 day cycle so thats exciting! And i got af on 30th which is the same as the cycle i got bfp, i had started af on 30th Dec. I'm good at finding rubbish to keep me hopeful lol. 

Have a nice day xxx

P.s the other night R watched 'a good night to die hard' or something like that. I literally fell a sleep straight away and didnt see any of it! Well done Janine lol xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

No, I've never been to the festival. I probably should have, growing up so close to it, but it only became more popular & less full of scary people since 2000, when I was ill.

That's great that your students got such high marks. It must be lovely to be able to tell them the results yourself, rather than tem getting it by post.

I watched the BB eviction yesterday - I was glad Jemima went too. I haven't watched last nights yet so don't know who's up this week. 

I havent been forced to watch any of the Die Hards, thank goodness! I presume T doesn't like them, he hasn't watched that latest one. I think falling asleep was definitely the best plan!

What does R like to do with his free time? Is he in to other sports apart from golf? T doesn't really play any sports. He's just started running as he wants to lose some wait, but I don't know how long that will last! He loves watching the tennis & is interested in athletics. He's enjoying doing he garden & spends time researching things on the Internet. He lies watching American tv series too. It's tricky to think what he'd say we're his actual hobbies!

I've been sick this morning, I've no idea why. Maybe I ate my breakfast too quickly or something. It has really annoyed me, as I haven't even managed a week this time. I guess I should just ignore it, as its just a one-off, but I really want to reduce my pills & don't think I'll be able to any time soon. Never mind.

Hope you have a lovely time with James. Do you go to his house or bring him to yours?

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Ive just got home from looking after James all day. He is such a good boy. I go to their house which is the house i grew up in 

Sorry u were sick again. I hope that was the last time.

I fell a sleep watching BB last night so dont know who is up either. I will be watching it tonight....hopefully i can keep awake.

The only music festival i have been to is wakestock in Wales. It is a wake boarding competition in the day and festival in the evening. We wouldnt stay at the festival as it can be scary lol. We used to camp but on a nice campsite. 
R would say his hobbies are golf, wake boarding, snow boarding and motor racing but he doesnt have much time to do them. I think his biggest hobbie is going to work lol. He has a mini motor bike in the garage. Its tiny and his knees are up by his ears when he rides it but he hasnt gone on it for a few years. He used to go to a local track. R is into cars mainly.

When is your next MW appointment? 
My best friend is over due now so her baby should be born soon. I was hoping i would get a bfp before she had her baby and i did before but now the new plan is a bfp by October. Bring it on!!

Xxx




Im going to bake some cakes now! Think i will make butterfly cakes  yummy!


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

Those little motorbikes make me laugh (sorry if this would offend R). I just think people look so funny on them. Did he ever get hurt on it? They always look dangerous to me. Does he only snowboard on real snow or do you have an artificial slope near you? It's annoying how work seems to take up so much time!

My next MW appt is on 15th, less than 2 weeks away. I have to have blood tests to see if I'm anaemic at this one. When I had tests done when I was TTC the dr said my iron was low, although not low enough to require treatment. I wouldn't be surprised if they say its even lower now, even though I'm taking the pregnancy vitamins still. I hope I don't need pills, as I've heard iron tablets aren't that nice. I don't eat red meat so I think that's why my iron is low. 

T's aunt gave us a Moses basket & stand at the weekend that her grandchild had hardly used. I've washed the cover on it & set it up in baby's room. I'm going to buy a new mattress & my mum has v kindly ordered a starter bundle of sheets for it. It might be a bit early to set it up, but I wanted to see what it looked like put together & clean. I can always wash it again. I want to have the essentials by the time I'm 30 weeks, just in case. 

I kept meaning to ask how your friend is getting on. She must be very uncomfortable at the moment. I wonder how much longer she will have to wait. I really hope you not have much longer to wait. 

Were your cakes nice? T went through a phase of baking cakes, I must get him on to it again! He's on a diet after our holiday this week though. He's very annoying - he loses weight as easy as anything & hardly ever puts on any weight. He will just diet for like a week & be back to normal. I'm very slow to lose weight & put it on very easily. It's nice not to have to worry about that too much at the mo - although I'm not "eating for two" or anything daft like that.

I've only watched half of last nights bb so I haven't seen their reactions to nominations. Is it just 2 of them up? I'll watch the rest later. I'm going to watch Murray too, whilst knitting. Last time he played I managed to knit 12 rows, I'll see if I can beat that this time lol!

I'd better get up - being lazy today as T is on nights so he's here this AM distracting me!

Have a good day. xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

Hope you're ok? Hope I haven't offended you?

Murray's match went on for ages yest, so I got loads of knitting done. My hands were really sore by the 5th set, so I had to give up! I think I'll be at work on Fri when he plays again, so won't get any more done then. T wants to have a Wimbledon party with my parents for the final on Sun, so I'll be able to get more done then!

The weather's looking good for the weekend, I hope they're right. We're taking my youngest nephew (9) & niece (5) to Longleat Safari park on Saturday. We're looking after them while the older nephew is taken to Truckfest in Cardiff. I think we might have for the night too, rather than wait for the parents to return late at night. It should be fun (/exhausting!!) We went to Longleat last summer with my friends, it will be nice to go again with kids.

Our neighbours cat hasn't been round to see us for weeks - he's been hiding from us for so e reason, as if we've upset him. He's come round this morning & is sitting on my lap. I don't want to get up now, in case I upset him again! How silly!

Hope you have a good day today. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Sorry i didnt get chance to write yesterday. We had a full on DIY day from early til late. We have stripped my mums hall and landing now . So got a plasterer coming next week to do all the living/dining room, hall and landing. Its a massive job but easier than building a kitchen.

R & i also think the mini motor bikes look funny lol. He looks daft on it. He hasnt ever hurt himself. He snowboards on real snow like in Scotland but we do have a dry slope near us which i have been to before i met R. Does T ever go to the gym? We used to be gym members but not anymore as its so expensive. I used to just go swimming and no even work out! But as my job is fitness based it was just pointless for me really. I think R would like to re-join but i wont let him spend the money lol. 

I hope your appointment on 15th goes well. Do u not like red meat? I love meat! Especially a nice steak . There is iron in greens so u could eat lots of those. 

Its nice u have a moses basket and can get excited getting it all washed and prepared . Have u bought a pram yet? Im getting tips from looking after James. He doesnt have sheets in his cot, he sleeps in a growbag. Also u needs loads of bibs and i think the press stud ones are best as the velcro ones stop being sticky after a few washes! Thats my tips so far lol. 

Did u watch BB? Good twist last night! I havent watched any tennis. I hope u are enjoying it. U have certainly done a lot of knitting! What are u making? I love Ts idea for a tennis party! I love things like that, i'd even dress as a tennis player!! 

The weather is supposed to be lovely in July. I hope u have fun with your niece & nephew, especially if they sleep over, that will be exciting for them. Have they slept at your house before?

Hope u managed to get the cat off your lap . 
Have a lovely day xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

Glad I hadn't offended you! What a lot of work you are doing at your mum's! Will you paint it after its plastered or will someone else? What colours will it be? Is there more that need doing after? How is the bathroom?!

T's never really been into the gym - he gets bored v easily! I think he might have been a member in his early 20s, but it didnt last long. He ran again yesterday - he looks so exhausted when he comes back, I feel sorry for him. I suppose I've got lots of exercise to come after October. But I think I'll stick to swimming, I actually enjoy that. 

T was a star yesterday - he tidied our spare room & hoovered all of the upstairs while I was at work. The spare room looks unrecognisable! It's all ready for the kids to stay now. We've had all the kids to say before, but never in this combination. It's usually the 2 boys or the girl separately. We are going to be boiling at the safari park! The weather looks lovely! I just hope the pollen doesn't affect me too much. What are your plans for the weekend?

Thanks for the tips from James. That's a good point about the bibs. I haven't bought any of them - my mil has been the one buying them - we have about 15, but they are all Velcro. If I buy any I will try to get poppers. I've heard growbags are good, my cousin uses them. I don't know what age to use them from though?

I'm knitting a blanket for baby. It is a massive project, I've been doing it for weeks & I'm not even half way! I've still got 14 weeks to get it done though. It's plain white with a pattern in it from the stitches. I'm not working today after all as my boss is in & I can't get anything done when she is there - she comes up with new jobs for me which I wouldn't have to do normally. I'll watch the tennis instead, after cleaning the bathrooms, so I can get more knitting done!

I haven't liked red meat since I was about 15 - but weird really. It's not v convenient. I eat healthily otherwise & take the multivitamins, so I was surprised my iron was low before. I probably haven't eaten as healthily since being pregnant, which is really bad, but it's been a case of eating what I can keep down.

Hope you have a lovely day with James & enjoy some sun. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Thats good how T cleaned so u are ready for your niece and nephew 
And it great that u dont need to work today so u get to watch the tennis! I cant wait to see your blanket when its complete.

Im just trying to get James to sleep now. Im going to put him in his pram and walk into the village with him this afternoon.

Tomorrow after work we are going to our friends house for a BBQ. 
My other friends baby hasnt been born yet but i text her yesterday and she has not replied so maybe something is happening! 

On Sunday we have a bit nore DIY to do before the plasterer. Then we will paint ceiling and walls etc then wallpaper. Ince thats done then we are finished! Her bathroom is fine. The bedrooms need doing but we are not doing them yet. I think we need a rest lol.

I will take my last clomid tablet tonight then have a little chill out before ttc really begins! 

Have a nice day! 

P.s i dont know how old u need to be for a grow bag. 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

I'm so hot already! I never normally complain about the heat, but since being pregnant I've really felt it! I've been awake since 5:30, due to heat & probably thinking about today, although I was trying not to. I was sick before breakfast - if I don't go back to sleep after taking my morning pill it seems to happen. Probably the excitement of today too!

Hope you enjoyed the rest of your day with James. Have you heard from your friend? My baby developed a new trick last night. I was lying on my side & he kept kicking so hard on one side that he bounced off the other side. It felt like he was ricocheting backwards & forwards. He did this several times. It would have been more cute if I wasn't trying to get to sleep at the time! I sang him a lullaby & eventually he calmed down & went to sleep. The kicks have got a lot stronger in the last few days, I can see them on outside now.

Hope you enjoy your BBQ today. Is Hollie going? Tal gets bored when he goes to other people's houses- he is excited at first to greet everyone, then after a while he stands by the front door & asks to go & sit in the car! I think he likes his peace!

I haven't watched bb yet. My prediction is that it will be Wolfie & the other bloke who will have been voted into the luxury room. Don't expect I'll get dance to watch it fr a few days now! The kids are arriving at 8:30 & going home at 9am tmr, as they are going to the beach / to watch cricket tomorrow. My SIL has put a message on Facebook this Am saying she is feeling happy cos she knows they will have a nice day with us, so that's nice. She's not the type to say things like that normally.

When do you start the opk again? It's amazing you only have to take the clomid for so few days & they do their magic!

I'd better get dressed or the kids will find me in my nightie! T isn't even awake yet! Better gently wake him up.

Hope you have a lovely day at the BBQ & that your DIY goes well tmr. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

The weather is boiling hot! Roasting in my studio today.

My friend had a baby boy yesterday evening. They have called him Ellis.....im not too keen on that name, sounds a bit girly. Im not coping very well. I feel really down. This has got my feeling sorry for myself. Wish i could be a good friend and be happy for them but i just feel so sad. 

I hope u have a nice day and night with your niece and nephew. Enjoy the sunny weather!

Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling down. It must be really hard for you, thinking of what might have been. Don't beat yourself up for not feeling happy for them, it's completely understandable considering what you've been through, and so recently. I'm sure in time you will be able to feel happy for them, but don't worry about the fact that you can't at the moment. As my boss, the psychologist would say, fake it til you make it. Events like this will be hard, but hopefully they will get easier as time goes on, and each one is step along the way of the grieving process. You've just got to get through this now, which is the tough bit. Sending you lots of hugs.

Did you manage to go to the bbq or was that too hard? i hope it was ok if you went. I'm currently hiding from my niece & nephew! T has v kindly brought me breakfast in bed & I'm staying here till I can be sure I won't be sick. We all enjoyed yesterday, I'll tell you more about it another time.

I hope today is a better day for you, but be kind to yourself & allow yourself time if it is not. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

I hope u enjoyed breakfast in bed and havent been sick.

I felt so down yesterday. Had a little cry and moan to my mum and felt better for that. I didnt feel like going to BBQ because i know the hot topic would be our friends new baby but we went anyway and im glad we did. Im very good at faking it! I will fake it til i make it, i like that! Its not just our loss that is hard, its the tttc for so long. Our friends have a 2 year old whilst we are still ttc. Everyone who got married after us has a baby now and some 1 year old or 2 year old children. It just doesnt feel fair. But i have good and bad days. Considering everything i think we are coping very well.

I hope u have fun in the sun today! 
Cant wait to hear all about your time with the children. 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

How are you feeing today? LTTTC must be so hard for you, especially when you are surrounded by others for whom it seems so easy. It does seem so unfair when you've been married longer. But you've got to keep believing that it will happen fir you one day, and every second of heartache will make it that much more precious. I think you're doing really well too, to keep on trying & not give up, youre obviouslya really strong couple. You so deserve your happy ending, & I'm sure you will get it one day. I wish I could wave a magic wand & make it happen for you.

The kids left at 9:15 yest, after playing a board game, doing some crafting, and going to the park - a lot of activity for that time of the morning! Longleat was really good. Aidan (9) took a lot of interest in the animals & enjoyed all the activities, like a big maze & an adventure playground. Hannah (5) is quite whingy, she has been spoilt a lot & has kearnt at home that the way to get her way is to pretend to cry. She soon realised that didn't wok on us, but was still more moany than the boys were at her age. She was cute in between though - she kept telling me she loved me and wished she could live with me! There was an activity book to do while we went round the safari & they loved that, especially when they got a certificate at the end.

Both kids made T happy with their reaction to his car. He has a Honda Accord Type R. I don't know what the technical terms are, but the Type R bit means it has 2 exhausts, is noisy & possibly a bit more sporty than a normal accord. For years he has just used it to get to work & back, as its old & uses more petrol than mine, so Hannah has never been in it. We used it on Sat as it has working air conditioning & mine doesn't. Hannah thought it was a new car & questioned him about it on the way - T said it was a sports car so she was asking if he used it for racing! All day she was asking me why he bought it, why he wanted it & telling me how much she liked it! On the way home she asked him to "turn the noise on" & was laughing with delight as he went in a lower gear to rev the engine (on an empty dual carriage way, all v safe!) As you can imagine, T was delighted his former pride & joy was getting such a good reception! Aidan said it was the most comfy car in the world, so that went down well too! I can't believe Hannah, who is usually such a girly girl, was such a petrol head! (When we first started going out, T thought his would impress me & was disappointed to find it didnt! I'm so not into cars!)

I can't believe how hot it is! I hate the fact that I am moaning about it, but I'm too hot! Yesterday evening I was boiling! Today we might go to the beach after work if we have time. Hope we do, it would be lovely to cool off. I'm meeting my brother's girlfriend for lunch today. She arranged it - it's really nice that she wants to get to know me. They have been living together since Xmas & been together just over a year. He had a dreadful girlfriend before who made no effort with his family & wouldn't bother to come & see us ever. We all hated her, but couldn't say anything. She cheated on him & broke his heart, he's still a bit scarred by it. She was destroying his confidence while she was with him - they lived together for 2 years. Amanda, who I'm meeting today, seems like she makes him happy & she makes an effort to come & visit us & his parents. It will be nice to spend some time with just her during her lunch break. (I can do further sister analysis on her to make sure she is suitable lol!!)

T & I enjoyed the tennis yest. It was just us in the end, my dad was too tired to come over (he has long term health problems). I'm glad it was just us as we were both crying when Andy won! Apparently my Dad was too - I would have found that so embarassing if we were all crying together! 

I had better go & start making myself presentable so I don't embarrass my brother! I might even straighten my hair!! I always used to straighten my hair before the sickness, but haven't been bothered for months. I've also got to pack all the beach stuff as I'll be going straight to meet T afterwards. 

Hope you are feeling better & don't get too hot dancing! xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Sounds like u had a fun packed time with Aidan and Hannah. Getting some practise in before u are parents yourselves. It's funny how Hannah moans and pretends to cry, i see a lot of children at dancing playing their parents like a fiddle. It's great that u didn't let her get away with it. R would of aldo loved her going on about his car! T and R sound similar when it comes to cars. Type R is something i am familiar with lol. R likes to hear his cars engine noise 'talk' and sometimes puts the window down to listen lol. When he had a focus ST it used to pop and bang and he loved that! Rediculous lol. I'm not impressed by cars either and am only interested in what colour a car is lol. 

Yesterday we woke up to a loud noise and thought it was a bird flying into one of our windows. It happens sometimes because our windows are so large. But last night we discovered a black banana skin on the spare bedroom windowsill outside and a banana smear on the window which is shaped like a bird. R thinks that someone threw it but i think a bird was carrying it! It's a mystery! 

We did a bit more DIY yesterday and helped mum with her garden. It is a very big garden and she cant manage to keep it all looking nice so she does about half and we want to make the other half maintenance free. It is over grown and we have cut it back many times, so we laid old carpet from inside over it and hope it will all die. Then we can do sometime to stop it ever returning......hopefully.

Today is quite cloudy here but still warm. My mum is coming to my house for lunch and then driving me to work as i left my car at her house. 
I hope u have a nice lunch with Amanda and that she is 'the one'. It's nice she is making an effort with u, i think thats lovely. 

I'm going to have a shower now before my mum arrives. I only straighten my hair after ive washed it and not every day. 
Have a nice time at the beach! 
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

That's funny that you're only interested with the car colour, that's exactly how I feel too. T has been thinking about what car to buy next for years & I have to pretend I know what he's talking about & care! He spends hours researching them, then changes his mind again a month or so later. At least it means he doesn't actually spend the money on them! 

How weird about the banana! Why would so done throw a black banana? I think the bird option is more likely!

Cunning plan with the old carpet! Hope it works! What sort of maintenance free plans do you have?

It was 28 degrees again here yest, bright sun. It was 23 at the beach. We took my brother to Weymouth & arrived at about 4. We all swam in the sea! It was cold to start with, but then not that bad. I always think its an achievement to manage to swim in the sea in the uk! The boys then played ball games while I dried & we had fish & chips by the harbour for tea! A lovely evening! We got home at 9. Our bedroom was 26 degrees when we came home! We only got it down to 24 before bed, it was 25 again this morning - baking!

Lunch with Amanda was really nice. She is v easy to talk to. The hour went too quickly. She seems very sensible & does really seem to care about my brother, so it's all good. I wonder if they will get married.... It's so annoying when people are speculating about that, I'll keep my wondering to myself! My brother is 30 on Sun & she's just turned 29 - we think he might propose for her 30th! They'll have been living together for 18months then. I not think he's ready yet, but maybe I'm wrong.... Stop speculating Catherine!

I only used to straighten my hair after washing too. I didn't straighten it yest, I decided it was too hot after drying it. So lazy! 

What are you going to do with James today? I wonder how he is coping with the heat. Will you be able to take him for a walk or will it be too hot? I think it's def too hot to go to work! My office is usually quite cool tho, so it shouldn't be too bad.

Got to wash my hair again as I got sea water in it - what a pest! But it currently looks like I've been dragged through a hedge, so I'd better sort it out!

Have a good day.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

I havent had chance to write all day. Im laid in bed now.

I had a lovely day with James. I didnt take him out in the pram as it was too hot. But we sat in the garden in the shade and i put some bubbly water in the washing up bowl and his rubber duck and he played with those. He loved splashing his hands in and pulling out the duck and chewing it lol. The weather is so nice but he does get hot very easily. 

Its great that u got to swim in the sea. Its been a long time since i have been in the uk sea! I bet the beaches are packed with this lovely weather. The fish & chip shops will be making lots of money , and the ice cream vans! There is an ice cream van who drives near my mums house all the time. It gets quite annoying as he only has one tune...over and over lol.

R was talking to me about cars tonight. He was telling me how big his wheels are and then started listing his inch wheel size of all the cars he has ever owned, which is a lot! I told him it was the most boring conversation ever lol.

We both went and got our hair cut this evening. We got a last min appointment and there was only us in! We felt like VIPs! They give u nice drinks and massages too! It was lovely.

Im glad u liked spending time with Amanda. Funny that u think he will pop the question for her 30th! Sounds good.

I hope u had a nice day today and not too hot in bed! Its boiling!

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Glad you had a lovely tie with James - it sounds so cute. Does he mind his mum going to work or does his face light up when he sees its you?

How funny that R was telling you about wheel size! That does sound v dull! V amusing that he thinks they are interesting facts, he does sound so like T! 

How nice that you got a VIP haircut lol! We're both getting our hair cut on Friday. T has developed a weird haircut policy - he will only get it cut every 6 months. He gets it cut short & it doesn't grow that quickly, so it looks alright for about 5 months. Then I spend a month nagging him to get it cut while the scruffiness of his hair drives me crazy. Eventually he gives in & let's me make him an appointment! He looks v different when he has it cut - he thinks its better value for money that way! Before he used to go to a barber & had a horrible cut, so it is an improvement on that, as now I take him to a proper hairdresser.

I travel an hour to get to my hairdresser! It's madness, but it used to be nearer til we moved. I tried other hairdressers while she was on maternity leave, but none of them were as good & I had one really terrible cut, so now I just do the drive. I've been going to her for 9 years & introduced my mum to her too. It feels like chatting to a friend when I'm getting a cut.

The weather forecast said its going to be cooler on your side of the country today. Better for your dancing! It's still meant to be hot here. I only have one maternity dress, so I've been washing it overnight to keep wearing it! I'm refusing to buy a second one, cos its so rare to get such nice weather - I bet if I bought another one I wouldn't get to wear it. It's navy blue with a blue sash, but I've bought yellow & turquoise ribbons, so I can make it look slightly different! I've got cardies to match the 2 ribbons, so in my mind its like 2 totally different outfits!!

I'm swimming today. I'm slightly tempted to go to the outdoor pool, but it will probably be cold. I'll probably just stick to the pool I know. I can't do my full number of lengths if its cold. I have to do 28 lengths today. 

Hope you have a good day & the weathers still nice, even if cooler. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Yes its hard to find a good hairdresser. We travel to ours too because it is close to where we used to live. Takes us about 25mins to get there. R gets his hair cut about every 2/3 months but it does seem to grow quickly. I like Ts idea for saving money! U should tell him that u might do the same lol. 

James isn't bothered when his mum or dad leave him. I think its just because he is still so young. He hardly notices them go. He face does light up when he sees me but he is naturally a very smiley person and is always ready to smile at anyone he sees. 

The weather does look cloudier today. Im staying home to get jobs done like washing, ironing and cleaning. Hopefully i can get the grass cut too. 

Good idea to buy ribbons to change your dress a bit. Clever Catherine! 

I hope u manage your 28 lengths! Have a nice day
Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

P.s we have the inlaws round tonight. Thats my reason to clean and tidy up lol xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

How are u? Did u have a nice swim? 

I got so many jobs done yesterday. I didnt stop all day long. I cut the grass and cleaned loads of the house and did a food shop. Then the inlaws came round and it was nice to see them. 

Ive arrange to go see my friends baby on Friday evening. I feel prepared but i think after i have been i will feel down. I feel down after lookibg after James because i dont want to leave him. I go home and have no one to look after lol. 
Im cd12 now so going to start my digital opks tomorrow morning. Im looking forward to it lol. I hope i can be lucky this cycle! A baby from this cycle would be due in April and as i had my baby in April i think that would be nice.

Today im going to see my mum then to dancing. Ive got to work them hard as we have a cabaret show on Saturday afternoon. 

Hope u have a nice day xxx


----------



## Pansy

Afternoon! (For a change!!)

I didn't have time to write this am as I was awake in night so overslept & then was sick so it was all going horribly wrong. Before I left the house I decided I wasn't having a good day, as I got white deodorant marks all over my just washed navy dress (yellow ribbon today, totally different!) Luckily work wasn't too bad, so I think it was just a bad morning. 

That's good you got so much done yest, you sound like Wonder Woman lol! I just did some sewing & my swim, then sat in the garden! It was slightly cooler yest, but not much. V hot again today.

Good luck with seeing your friends baby. It will be difficult, but hopefully it will get easier once you've done it once. I sort of know what you mean about feeling sad after seeing James, I always feel there's a big hole after seeing kids. Is R going with you? I hope Mr Insensitive behaves himself!

Gosh, cd12 already, it comes around quick. Are you following the same plan as last time? The bit around ovulation is def the best part of the cycle, so much hope! 

I'd better go & put tea on - we're refusing to use the oven in the heat this week, so tonight it's microwave curry! I think I can just about manage to cook that!

Have a good evening. Hope cabaret rehearsal goes well Xxx

Ps keep meaning to ask, was R able to take time off for your anniversary? Have you booked hotel?


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello.

Sorry u had a bad morning. I was worried about u when u didnt write. Im glad u are OK. 

Thanks for saying im wonder woman, i like that!! Lol.

Yes R is coming with me to visit the baby. I wanted us to go together as i know he will look after me. We clubbed together with our other friends and got her a mamas & papas voucher and some flowers. She has alreadu received them so tomorrow i will be taking a card and chocolates. 
It's her 30th birthday on the 20th and ive organised the big group present for her. Wish she could of spread the cost a little lol 

This cycle we are dtd every other day then 3 days in a row when i get positive opk. Although we did just scrap that and dtd 2 nights in a row but just for fun. The thing is, i make the plans and dont tell them to R lol. Anyway im hoping for a bfp this cycle . If af comes then im going on a hen do anyway so will be able to drink...bonus! 

R and i are going away from 23rd-25th but we cant agree on where to go so i havent booked yet lol. I know its going to have a spa but R wants a golf course. I will have to play golf!! Might be a laugh!

I hope u have had a better evening than morning. 
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

Oh dear that you might have to play golf! It could def be funny! I've played once or twice, when I was young, as my parents were into it for a while. It all seemed quite pointless to me lol! I reckon I could beat T though (we're so competitive!!).

How long did your friend have to stay in hospital? Glad R will look after you. I hope it goes ok. V inconvenient of her to have her baby so close to her bday! It's my SIL's bday on the 20th too - I haven't got a clue what to get her. She'll be 33. It was my best friend's husband's 40 th on Wed & will be my brother's 30th on Sun. Both are called Richard, so I ad to write 2 special bday cards to R's! It's also my nephew's bday on 16th - I think July is my version of your June!

Has R had SA done? Does he have enough? T was always worried about it running out if we did it everyday. We never got to the actual SA tho. How was your OPK today? Was it CD17 last time? You'll be away during the TWW, is that right? That should be a good distraction & better than being away when/just after AF is due. Hope you manage to decide on somewhere nice.

I'm going in to work today to start getting up to date before I go on maternity. My boss gave me yet another job to do before I leave yest - she just doesn't understand that I don't have extra time just cos I'm leaving! Did I tell you I've got to lead out first ever all staff meeting in a few weeks? That'll be fun!! I'm meant to train everyone in what I do, so we're all on the same page. I've no idea what I'm going to say! I'm dreading it, as are the rest of the staff! I'm just going to have to do my best to get everything up together before I leave, but I'm not doing too much overtime, particularly towards the end. She'll just have to deal with it.

Hope you have a good day & best of luck with this evening. Do you have something nice to do afterwards to look forward to?

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

I already wrote a reply today whilst looking after James but it got delected by mistake before i got chance to post.

Ive had a good day with James. I took him to the park and he had a little go on the swing and slide lol. Obviously i had to hold him but he was smiling. 
We went to see our friends baby. He is cute and so tiny. It was fine. Turns out it was the same midwife as i had! She had a bad labour though and needed forceps. Scary! She only stayed in hospital one night. I feel a little sad now but not too bad. Im pleased i have got that first inital meeting out the way. 

R has had 3 SAs done. His count is ok but not amazing. He did the first two at home and things came back borderline so thats why they get a repeat and on the second a different thing was borderline. The third one he did in hospital and was shocked when he was handed a folder labled 'mens material' with porn inside. The results from that came back better lol but still not very high count but nothing to worry about.

I did my first opk this morning and it was neg. I expect to get a pos about cd15 or 16.
Yes we will be away towards the end of my tww. I expect af on monday 29th so would only test if i make it after this date. Im not going to be daft and test early.

Yes your July is like my June. U have lots of big birthdays this year and lots of Richards too! Lol

I hope u had a nice day and werent too hot. U will have to start planning your staff meeting! 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

Hope your cabaret show goes well today! Will that be the end of term or have you got another week?

I'm glad meeting the baby went well. It's good you've got it over & done with. 

What county are you in? I know roughly where you are on the weather map, but if they mention counties I have no idea. They just said some counties have a heat wave warning, but I'm not sure if its you or not.

We're off to the beach today. We have borrowed a dinghy from my parents, that we've had since I was little. It needs a new pump, so if we can find one of them we will be able to use it. I'm feeling really tired & the beach seems a long way away today, but I'm sure when I get there it will be good. It should be cooler there than at home. 

The 'men's material' made me laugh! If T had had to have it done, I think I would have been v unhelpful & found the whole thing hysterical! It's def more amusing than a blood test! Glad R is ok. 

How cute that you took James to the park. It won't be long before he is going down the slide on his own!!

I know re having lots of R's, it's getting ridiculous now! I have to refer to them as Natalie's R, my brother R & now Janine's R! Lol

T looks v different with his short hair now. He must've had at least 2 inches cut off. He looks good. I'm going to have to watch his neck & ears don't get burnt today, they haven't seen the light for months!

I'd better go & get ready. We need to get to the beach early so we can find a parking space. 

Hope you have a good day at work. Any plans for ths eve?

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

Your day at the beach sounds nice. I hope u can find a pump and have fun in the dingy. 

Its still hot here too. Im in Cleveland. What county are u? Im really bad at geography! 

Im cd14 now and neg opk. Im glad its neg as we tried to dtd last night but R couldnt finsh. I had pushed him into dtd and he told me he was too tired but i still wanted to and it didnt end properly!! So im glad my opk is neg. I hope we wont have a repeat performance now he has lost a bit of confidence... opps!

I told R about Ts money saving hair cut. Told him he should do the same but i dont think he listened. Lol

Im working til 6pm so dont have any plans except to relax tonight. 

Have a lovely day xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Hottest night yet! I don't think the room got below 26 all night! We both managed to catch the sun in various places yest, so I think we were generating our own heat! I didn't put sun cream on my arms as they were already brown & I don't usually burn where I'm brown, but yesterday they went v pink - oops! They feel ok today though. 

We had a great time at the beach, although it was completely packed - we just had room to put up our tent & to lie out the dinghy & tht was it. We could barely get to the sea cos there were so many other people! We went out in the dinghy for over an hour, rowing a bit & just floating. My dad went to Cambridge & rowed there - not for the frst team or anything, but for a team - so he taught me when I was little. I just lack strength. T didn't row till I took him on the Serpentine in London when he was 27! He's not that good, he gets quite frustrated. I think I need him to go out with my Dad so he can teach him. Anyway, when he was rowing, we spent most of the time going round in circles, which must've looked amusing from the shore! I didn't swim as the sea was colder than Mon, but T jumped in at one point - he said it was painful!

It's weird your from Cleveland, T has been mistakenly saying that's where he wants to go to Cleveland all week! There is a seaside town near us called Clevedon, but all week he's been calling it Cleveland! Maybe he secretly wants to come & visit you! We're in Somerset. 

Poor R getting performance anxiety. It's hard for the man, cos its not like they can fake it (do you remember the episode of Friends where Chandler faked it?) But then again, the rest of its hard for the woman, so I don't feel too sorry for them! Good job it didnt matter. Hope he isn't affected by it next time. How's you OPK today?

Did the show go well? What are you doing today? My cousin, his pregnant wife (due a month tmr) & they're cute little 3 year old (the Abney & Teal fan) are coming over at 12. We have to clean the house before hand. We normally cook a lunch for them, but we've bought filled pasta & garlic bread this time, as we don't want to put the oven on - the house is hot enough as it is! I hope they don't mind the randomness!

I'd better start tidying! Hope you can have a relaxing day after your long day yest. 

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Morning. 

I got my smiley face +opk this morning! The pressures on now lol. We had sex successfully last night so thats a good start . I had ovulation pains yesterday evening so kind of expected a positive today. Hopefully R can keep up! 

I remember that friends! I love friends. Remember when Monica pretends to make up with him so she can get sex then afterwards is still mad at him lol. 

Sounds like u had a lovely day at the beach in the sun. It's lovely that u spend so much time together. R and I do spend a lot of time together as well because we mainly have joint friends so all hang out together, but i feel work gets in the way too often. Ive only got one week left at dancing! Yipee! 

Funny how T was going round in circles. Thats what i would do! Lol. Strange how he has been mentioning Cleveland. If u book a holiday up here i can recommend places, etc..

Its good that your dad used to row. He must be strong. Did he go to Cambridge Uni? What job does/did he do? 

My cabaret went well thanks. It was so hot though but the children just got on with it! I made sure they drank plenty of water. 

R has gone to play golf this morning so im getting a nice relaxing time in bed. We are doing a BBQ at my mums house this afternoon. Both my brothers, their wives and children are coming. It will be the last time i see my niece and nephew (ones who slept at my house before) because they are going to Croatia for the 6 week holidays. They go every year and come back so brown. 

I just hope the weather stays OK as its cloudier today. 
Enjoy your lunch with your cousin and family! I hope u have a nice Sunday.

Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

Yey that you got +OPK! It's good that its so regular. Glad you were successful on Sat, hope you were again yest. 

I love Friends too. I always expected that I'd have to do a "Monica" at some point, but luckily never have, lol!

Yes, Dad went to Cambridge Uni. He's a solicitor. Both my parents are, they met on a training course.

Hope you enjoyed your BBQ yest. How was the weather? No signs of cloud here. The bedroom was 27 all night again, but luckily it's not stopping us sleep. I couldn't believe how hot it was in the evening, even though there was a breeze & we had our windows open. We spent the day hiding from the heat. It was lovely to see my pushing and his family. Isla was full of energy & didn't seem worried about the heat at all. My cousins wife was v uncomfy in the heat - we went across to the park for 5 mins but it was just too hot. It's a month til her due date today, but her baby is still breech, so the midwife is checking her regularly. Isla was breech until the last minute, then changed, so hopefully this baby will too, otherwise she'll have to have a c-section. 

I'm off to see my midwife today. Hope I've got lots of iron in my blood! I've forgotten to take my multivitamin for the last 2 days, so that won't help! But hopefully the body stores it. I hope they measure my bump today, I want to know how it's doing. My fingers & feet are swelling, which is something they'll check for, but hopefully that's just cos of the heat. 

Do you have an end of term party or just the cabaret? It must be lovely knowing you've only got one week left! Do you have a list of things to get done over the summer? My friend who is a teacher always does, but only ever gets half of them done! There's never as much time as you think!

Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello.

I had a lovely day yesterday. The clouds went away and it was another warm and sunny day. R and i took our bargin badminton set to my mums and we all played. R built a slide that my mum bought ages ago and my niece loved going up and down there all day. We had a yummy BBQ that R cooked. It was lovely spending time with everyone.

Yes had sex successfully again last night so FX i can get him to go again tonight and Tues. I think that should cover it. Im looking for a temp rise now.

Ive got a friend coming round soon. She has a little girl and is getting married soon. Its her hen do i am going on soon, so we will have a good gossip about that! Hopefully i wont be able to drink .

Your mum and dad have good jobs. My dad was an experimental chemist, i dont even know what that is really lol. My mum hasnt worked since i was born, although now she works with me 

Ive got an end of term party on Sunday. The children get presented with their exam certificates and some get trophies. I book a venue and a DJ. The DJ is amazing with the children and plays loads if games. He is quite attractive too lol. And called Richard! Lol.

Over the summer i will be running a summer school for one week but other than that i havent got any plans yet. Im sure i will think of something.

Im glad u had a nice day yesterday. I hope her baby turns. My brother was born breech and my mum had a horrible labour. At least a C section is an option. 

Good luck at the midwife! Let me know how it goes

Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

My MW appt went well. Baby has a good healthy heartbeat. Last time it sounded like a train, this time it clearly sounded like a horse galloping, which is meant to be a girl. However, the MW had just prodded baby loads to find out where the head was, so baby had just woken up, which is probably why it sounded like this. My MW said at 17 weeks that later on in pregnancy the sound of the heartbeat can tell you if it's a boy or girl, but all the research I've done on Internet says its rubbish. 

My bump is measuring bang on 28 weeks, so that's good. No monster baby yet, despite what T thinks!! Nice to know I'm the size I should be. I will hear about my blood test results by the end of the week if there is a problem. The MW said it wouldn't be pleasant for me if I had to take iron tablets as I'm already so sensitive to being sick. Really hope I don't have to! She asked if I feel washed out, which I don't really, so hopefully that's a good sign.

She looked at my swollen hands & advised me to take my wedding ring off & wear it round my neck. She said lots of people have to have them cut off. I hadn't heard this before, but I put a post up & got 17 replies within an hour of people telling me they'd taken theirs off/knew someone who'd had it cut off. I really don't want to be without my ring - I've always felt v proud to wear it & show the world I'm with T. But I'd be devastated if it had o be cut off. I've taken it off for about 5 mins this PM, but it's back on now. Tomorrow I will take it off & put it on a chain. Maybe I will buy a cheap replacement ring in a bigger size so I have something on.

I did a food shop after MW appt, but have been lazing around since. It's too hot to do anything constructive. I'm glad it's nearly evening so I can go to bed soon! I feel guilty for wasting a day, but there's nothing to do that wont make me boiling!

I'm glad you enjoyed yest. Your bargain badminton set is getting loads of use! Hope you had a good gossip with your friend. What did you do for your hen party? I did a chocolate making course, then went out for a meal, stayed in a hotel & used the spa facilities the next day. It was lovely.

Lol at the attractive dj called R! Are you allowed to find other people attractive in front of R? T has a thing for several actresses, which he is open about, but he is unimpressed if I ever say I like anyone! Double standards!!

I'm going to go back to searching the Internet for a cheap wedding band. I might even get up to open the upstairs windows, although that sounds like a lot of effort in this heat, lol!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Im glad all went well at MW and baby is measuring on track. Ive heard the theory about the heart beat but it was wrong with my niece. I hope your blood test results come back all as they should be.

Its a good idea to take your ring off but buy another. U wouldnt want your ring to get cut! But still want to wear one. I love wearing my rings too, especially as i look young so people know im actually married and not just a teenager lol. What material is your ring? Mine is a platinum band and my engagement ring is platinum with a single dimond. 

For my hen night i went to Leeds and stayed in apartments. Had a spa day then a meal and to a few bars then a drag night club called the birdcage. Its brilliant there because u get to dance but then every half hour there is a little show to sit and watch. 

Yes the DJ is nice lol. R doesnt mind if i find other people attractive but i dont really tell him i do anyway. He is the most attractive to me 

Did u see BB last night? It was horrible. I wont say much incase u havent watched yet but terrible terrible terrible!!!

I hope today isnt too hot for u. Have a good day xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

My first day without my wedding ring on! I tried to put my engagement ring on this morning (I wear wedding ring constantly, but engagement ring only for work & when I'm going out) & it was painful, so I decided that was enough of a sign that I shouldn't be wearing either of them. Today I've got a random ring on, silver with a cubic zirconia in a swirl, but I've just ordered a replacement silver band that's exactly the same as my wedding ring from Amazon. T said I shouldn't don't buy one, I should just wear other rings, but he doesn't get it. I want to wear a proper wedding band. The ladies who replied to my post seem to think my fingers will take a month or so to get back to normal after, so that's at least 16 weeks I will need a different ring for.

My rings are both 18ct white good. My engagement ring is a solitaire diamond set with 4 prongs in a diamond/ kite pattern, not a square, if you see what I mean. T's is 9ct white gold cos it's stronger. He doesn't wear it at work as he works with chemicals which could damage it. He takes it off on his way to work & puts it on before he gets home. I wish he could wear it at work, so any ladies know he's mine, but as he mostly works with men I guess it doesn't matter!

How was James today? I went to visit my brother after work. We sat in the garden & ate ice lollies! I can't believe it is still so hot!

I'm watching Sun's bb as I write, so I don't know what happened on last nights show yet. 

How's your cycle going? Any temp rise yet? Will this hot weather make you hotter than you should be? 

I bought 5 dresses online so I could find one to add to my only other one, but none of them look nice! So annoying! They are either too short or too low cut - not the look I want at the moment!! Back to just wearing the one I guess. 

Hope you have a nice evening. Do you have a breeze to cool the house down at night? We have nothing at all, even opening the windows all night (which I'm not keen on doing) the room was still 26. I don't even remember it being like this abroad - at least it's cooler at night there. If this is going to carry on, I've told T we need to move to the beach! 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Im glad u have managed to order a ring. I totally understand u wanting one, especially if u need it after the baby is born, u want everyone u meet to know u are married. 
My friends engagement ring sounds like yours so i know what u mean by kite/dimond shape. Sounds nice.

I enjoyed looking after James. I turned the washing up bowl upside down and he was banging it like a drum. Then i sat him in it and pushed him about like he was in a bumper car. He loved that! So many fun things to do with a washing up bowl lol. He slept for 3 hours in total today so i watched lots of only fools and horses lol.

The plasterer came today to my mums house and its all finished. Next job is painting etc..the whole job is almost complete!!

I havent got a temp rise yet im hoping for a rise tomorrow morning or i will be confused. Ive had ovulation pain for the last few days and very sore nipples now. We have dtd the last 3 nights . I dont expect a bfp. I cant imagine getting one again. 

Shame u didnt like any dresses u ordered. U will have to order more . 

It is really hot at night but i dont wear much for bed. We open our window and in spare room and bathroom window and keep all doors open. It seems to work.

Hope u can sleep in the heat.
Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

What ingenious uses of a washing up bowl! V inventive! I think it really good when kids do imaginative play like that - much better for them than toys that require no imagination. You'll make a really good mum.

My new wedding ring arrived. It looks just like my wedding ring only a lot shinier, so I'm v happy with it. I'm a proper married woman again now! I tried to get my wedding ring back on this morning & it got stuck! Definitely the time to take it off. I can wear the ring with the cubic zirconia that I was wearing yest as an engagement ring too, so T will be happy I'm wearing other rings. Do you wear much jewellery? The only rings I wear are my wedding & engagement ones. I wear a necklace when I go to work & a bracelet when I remember, which is not v often. I love jewellery & have quite a bit that I've been given over the years, but I don't wear it enough. I tend to wear the same pieces. My current favourites are a white gold pendant of 2 interlocking hearts that T gave me on our wedding day, a cheap little silver heart with a cubic zirconia that T gave me the weekend we found out as a happy pregnancy present & another silver open heart that was the first piece of jewellery T ever bought me, for our first Christmas together. I didn't have any heart before, but he always buys me hearts when he buys jewellery so I really like them now. 

Any temp rise this morning? Maybe it's better to be not imagining getting a BFP, then you don't get your hopes up & it will surprise you. But then other people say positive thinking is the key, so I don't know. I don't think there's really anything you can do to effect it, but when I was trying I got superstitious & was trying what I could. T has bought me a pregnancy magazine when we first started trying & I decided that was bad luck after a while, so I binned it. My SIL had given me her pregnancy book, which I couldn't bin, but I put it up in the loft. I knew my MIL had bought a steriliser kit many years ago for us (it was a bargain- she's obsessed with bargains, literally) & I was so tempted on many occasions to go & find it at her house and bin it. I couldn't work put how to do it without causing suspicion tho! I collect heart stones (another post T addition to my life! I buy them as souvenirs when we go on hol etc) and I bought a rose quartz one (fertility) and another one that's meant to give good health and still have them in a little bag tied to my headboard. I don't normally believe in things like that, but thought anything was worth a try. Do you have any superstitions that you are trying?

Yey that the plastering is done. When will you start painting? That will be a hard job in this weather!

We had some of our windows open last night, but it was still 26 all night. I get worried about burglars climbing in through the window!! Esp when T is on nights, like he is at the moment. We don't have little windows we can open, only the main ones. I've been shutting them when I go to bed then he reopens them when he comes home. I can feel a bit of a breeze at the moment, so maybe it will be ok tonight. I tried sleeping with nothing on on Sun night, but I kept grazing my nipples on the bed when I turned over lol! I just have a v thin cotton nightie now, a v old fashioned one that I save for hols & heatwaves!

Do you have to provide food at your party on Sun? What will you do if you do?

I'm thinking of going swimming this eve. I can't decide if its a good idea or not, as I often feel sick after my evening meal. My back is v sore today for some reason & swimming often helps it, so it might be a good idea. I will have tea early & see how I feel after.

I ant believe how Daley was acting. I saw he's on the front page of some paper today saying the woman (forgotten her name) was manipulative & it was her fault, but he seemed scary in the violent things he was saying. I think she was just trying to show she wasn't scared by him, I don't think she was causing it at all. What a horrible man! I bet the bosses are furious they can't show their romance storyline anymore!

Hope you've had a temp rise & a good day! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

I got a big temp rise!! Really happy as now i wont need to keep having sex in this heat! Lol 

I dont have any superstitions apart from hating the number 13. I didnt mind it before but it does seem strange how 2013 has been the worst year ever. I did used to over think things before and i did lots of praying and 'lucky' things when we were losing the baby but it didnt work so now i believe anything can happen and its totally out of our control.

I dont wear much jewellery either. I always wear my wedding & engagment rings and then some little heart shaped stud earrings. R bought me them and a heart shaped necklace for our first Christmas. They are white gold and a few years later he got me a lovely bracelet too. He is good at picking jewellery that suits me. I have lots of costume jewellery that i might wear when going out on an evening but i dont wear it very often. I also have a love heart stone that R and I found on the beach! We do like our love hearts lol.

Im glad your ring arrived and u like it! 

I dont know when we will start the painting. Probably after our anniversary now. Which i still havent got anything booked for....opps!

Yes if i was home alone in the night i would close my windows too. We only have small windows that open but i can imagine someone little climbing in. That would be scary. 

It is so hot today. I got up early and cut the grass and did a bit of gardening. Ive baked shortbread biscuits and did some cleaning. Its too hot! I just had a little sleep as i tired myself out lol.

On Sunday the children all bring a bit of food to share. I put a list up at dancing and they write down what they will bring. A lot easier than me taking the food. I provide the paper plates and napkins . There is a bar in the venue so i dont need to take drinks. Im looking forward to it! 
I think that lady from dancing who i saw at the hospital looks pregnant now so i guess her baby was OK. 

What Daley did on BB was so horrible. I totally agree with u. He is such a nasty man and i felt threatened just watching it at home. I couldnt stop thinking about it afterwards. 

Are u on facebook? I used to have an account but deactivated it after what happened with my pregnancy. 

I hope u have had a nice day and managed to go swimming. I imagine a swin will cool u down. Have a lovely evening.

Heres hoping my temp is still high in the morning and its not a nasty trick of the weather  
Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

I hadn't thought of how awful it would be trying to have sex in this heat! Nightmare! Glad you don't have to do it anymore! Was your temp still up today?

That's a cunning plan with getting the kids to bring food & say what they're bringing. Much easier for you. I hope it goes well.

I did go swimming. I had hoped that the hot weather would put other people off, but the pool was very full. People swimming lengths but talking the whole time really annoy me. They take up twice the room cos they have to swim next to each other. What's the point, you're not doing any exercise if you can still talk?! Go to a coffee shop & gossip there! I get swimming rage!! I went in the medium speed lane last night, which I haven't done for ages, but it had to be done. I'm not as fast as I used to be, but I don't think I annoyed the other swimmers. I did 30 lengths which was the amount I used to do before I had a bad back last year, so I'm really pleased to have built up to that again. My back felt better in the water but was v sore when I got out again. Don't think I made it worse though.

I have a Facebook account, but I use it more for seeing what others are up to. I never post anything myself. My aunt & cousins are on it, so I can keep uptodate with them through it. I can also see what my brother is up to as his girlfriend has befriended me - he hates that! My younger brother won't even let me be friends with him!

There appears to be a rain cloud on the weather map above where I live - whats that all about?! I missed the actual weather forecast. It would be very odd if it rained!

I had my first nightmare about labour last night! I hated the gas & air as it was a mask covering my whole face & I was in terrible pain. I think it was maybe cos my back was hurting in real life. I haven't really faced up to labour yet, I've been ignoring it so I don't panic about it. I've read one book on natural pain management techniques. Our NCT antenatal course starts a week on Sat, I guess I'll have to come out of denial then. Hope it doesn't freak me out!

T wants me to wake him up so we can watch the apprentice final before I go to work. I feel bad waking him, although he got in at 1, so it could be worse. Better go & do it.

Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Good evening!

My temp was still up this morning so im pleased! I must be 2dpo 

U did well with your swimming. Funny how other people annoy u lol. 
I havent been swimming for ages but will do next week as ive booked our anniversary break away! We are going tues-thurs to Chester in a lovely hotel with 3 golf courses and a spa. I cant wait! Ive also booked tickets to go to Chester Zoo on the thurs which is our actual anniversary.I love animals and if the weather is still hot it will be lovely walking around the zoo. 

I was the same on facebook. I used to write things but then didnt bother anymore and just spied on other people lol. I closed my account because i didnt like seeing everyones baby pics and pregnancy announcements. 

Did it end up raining? I bet it didnt. Its roasting hot here, i was so warm at dancing tonight.

I had a nightmare too last night that i was trapped in the car with a big snake lol. R had to calm me down in bed as i was frightened. I guess with labour u cant really prepare. U need to be ready for anything. Cant believe u only have 80 days to go! Thats gone really quickly. I hope i can get a bfp by the time u give birth 

I hope u have had a nice day today. Im been busy getting things organised for Sunday. I also went shopping and got a nice summer dress for £8 and a black skirt for the hen do for only £3. Im happy with my bargins 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

Yey to 2dpo! Presumably 3dpo now. And yey that you've booked your holiday! The hotel sounds lovely! Will you have to play on all 3 golf courses?! The zoo should be lovely too, there's something v romantic about spending the day at the zoo. I think my parents met at Chester - does it have old town walls? Either Chester or Chesterfield - is that a town or a county??

No sign of rain whatsoever! I was ok in my office in the morning cos I was sitting by the good fan, but in the afternoon when I moved room I had a rubbish fan so was baking. I popped out at lunch time & actually felt sick it was so hot! 

How weird we both had nightmares! Must be the hot weather. Hope you didn't lady night, I didn't.

I had a mini panic when I read your post last night - 80 days!!!! That really doesn't sound very long! It seems only a minute ago that I got to singe digits. I only really look at my ticker to see if its changed on a Sunday - I hadn't noticed it was 80 days. 79 now! We saw the maxi cosi car seat that fits with the pushchair we want to get was reduced from £135 to £70 on amazon on Wed, so we bought that and it arrived yesterday. We were going to buy black, but the reduced one was red. I like it though, i think it's cheerful. It's sitting on the sofa - it seems more real than anything else we've bought. I feel slightly more prepared now, as I can get baby home from hospital & have the Moses basket ready for baby to sleep in. I don't have enough clothes but they could be bought from supermarket if necessary. I'm sure there are 100 other things we need, but I feel they were the too main essentials. My parents might be going to order the pushchair this weekend, so that will be good.

Where did you get your bargains from? What's the dress like? Your good at spotting bargains!

The breakfast news progs are saying its a year since the Olympics. Did you watch the opening ceremony? We did & have still got it recorded. I loved it (although haven't watched it since). Did you try to get tickets? We did, but weren't successful, so went to London to watch the women's marathon, where you don't need tickets. It was an amazing day, the atmosphere was like nothing I've ever experienced before in London. Team GB won a gold when we were on the tube & everyone cheered. A lady started talking to me on the tube, that's never happened before. The volunteers were so friendly. We also happened to be in Weymouth when Mo Faroh win his second gold & we watched that on a big screen on the beach. Everyone was cheering him on so much, I'm sure he must've heard in London!! Amazing memories!

There's quite a breeze this morning, maybe that will cool things down a bit. It looks like you've got a cloudy start tomorrow AM, according to the weather. What will you do with James today? I'm off to visit my friend to "eat cake" this morning - an invitation I couldn't refuse lol! I might pop in to work on the way home, depending on how long I'm at hers.

Hope you & James have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning!

Im 3dpo now and got crosshairs on my chart! 

I saw the news, i remember the opening was 27th July as it was a year since we had moved in our house. We had a BBQ then watched the ceremony. We also have the opening and closing recorded but havent watch it since lol. I loved the spice girls! It was all a good show. Cant believe it was a year ago. Time goes too fast. We didnt try to get tickets, i think u can a better view from the sofa lol.

My bargins are from new look. My dress is long and muti-coloured. Its not what i would normally buy but looks lovely.

Im glad u are getting organised for the baby and u got a bargin too! There is probably lots u need but T can always go get it once u realise u need it . 79 days sounds very close. Its exciting and scary at the same time. Which pushchair are u wanting?

I dont know much about Chester. I dont know much about anything lol. I get mixed up with cities and counties and even countries 

Its a bit cooler so far today. Ive walked to the shop with James and now he is in his cot trying to sleep but fighting sleep. My other brother (not James dad) is coming round soon to help me today. He is off work and alone because his wife and children have gone to Croatia now for 6 weeks. My brother goes for 2 weeks soon. Its hard for hom to be away from his children i dont know why she would go for so long without him but they stay with family in Croatia. My niece has her birthday there every year without her dad. She will be 5 next week. 

I hope u have a nice time seeing your friend and eating cake...yummy! 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

Yey for crosshairs! 

I can't believe you've got it recorded too, I though I was the only one insane enough! we're so alike! T's always telling me to delete it! 

That is hard on your brother, especially missing the birthday every year. I don't think I coukd be away from T for 2 weeks. It must be hard when your family are all in a different country though. My cousin's wife found it v difficult when her mum in South Africa had a cancer scare. She can't get back there v often as its so expensive & far. 

Your dress sounds lovely. They had some really nice ones in New Look this year - I was trying to convince myself I could fit my bump into them (I've now given up all ideas of that!).

I had a good time with my friend. We went out for milkshake & then lunch, before doing a bit of shopping. I bought a cotton scarf from White Stuff for £5 & she bought a dress. She's got 3 girls under 5 & she's only 24. Her youngest is 14 months & just toddling - v cute! They're very well behaved & seem like a lovely little family, but she told me that she doesn't know how long she'll stay with her husband. She wants to split up, he doesn't, she thinks they'll stay together for the kids. It made me really sad to hear that, that someone so young is stuck in a marriage like that. She asked if I ever felt like that with T, but I can honestly say I not at all. It reminded me how lucky I am, not that I really needed reminding.

What are you up to today? It's my SIL's birthday so we're going to hers this afternoon for a BBQ to celebrate hers & my nephews birthday. She's doing the Race fir Life this morning. She has been training to run it for months, but she might walk it as its so hot, which is a shame for her. My SIL's bday present hasn't arrived, which is v annoying. I expect she'll understand, but it makes us look unorganised. T has made her/them a birthday cake, so at least we've got that.

I hope you have a good day - your last Sat at work for a while? xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning!

Im glad u had a nice time with your friend. Such a shame she is thinking of splitting with her husband, thats so sad. Did she say why? I guess with 3 young children u just have to work hard to keep the magic alive and remember why u love them. I hope they stay together unless he is nasty or something. 

We went to see our friends with the new baby last night. Mr insensitive said 'R its class getting to park in the parent and child spaces because u have loads of room so people are less likely to bang your car with their door' and 'its great when u get to push a pushchair'......i know he is just being happy but it feels wrong for him to be bragging about that to us. Nevermind. I gave my friend her 30th birthday gifts off all our friends. They arent celebrating til next Sunday as its so close to having the baby. We are going for Sunday lunch on 28th. 

I ripped half my nail off this morning when getting dressed. It ripped very low down and was bleeding. It still throbs now! 

Last day teaching today! Yipee! But on the downside im going to be very skint in August! Oh well, who needs money when u have love! Lol
I think R is going out for drinks tonight with work so i will finish off all my jobs for the party tomorrow.

I hooe u have a lovely time at the BBQ. Will u cook your food inside again? Its a shame her birthday present hasnt arrived. What did u get her? Im sure she will understand and the cake will help 

The weather is supposed to get even hotter soon. I hope its nice in Chester next week. 

Have a fun Saturday xxx


P.s my niece who does ballet but lives too far away to come to my lessons is getting a new ballet teacher.... Miss Catherine!! Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

Ow,ow,ow, your poor nail! Sounds horrible! Hope it's less sore now. I hate breaking my nails but I've never actually made them bleed - ow! Do you normally have strong nails? Mine gran quite well, they only usually break if I forget to cut them & they grow too long. 

Oh dear that Mr Insensitive struck again! He really does deserve his name, unfortunately. He obviously doesn't realise what he's saying. I hope you both didnt find it too upsetting. Had the grown? How's your friend coping with motherhood?

My friend didnt really say what te problem was, just that there's loads of tension between them & he's not very appreciative/nice to her. I don't really know & didn't want to ask too much. They split up for a while before she had the 3rd child, so I think they've been on the rocks for a while.

Hope your last day of teaching went well & you're all ready for the party. Exciting! Lol at your nieces teacher being Miss Catherine! 

The BBQ went well. My food was cooked inside again, even without me asking, so that was good. They have a v fancy BBQ that's basically a gas cooker outside, so I wouldn't have been so worried about them being cooked on there, but I was happier with them being in the oven. It was much cooler in the day time - we went out fir lunch & it was actually completely cloudy! Shocking! I bought a new dress, which I knew would stop the hot weather, but I didn't think it would work that quickly!! By the time we went to the BBQ it had got hot again & by about 7 I was feeling too hot & a bit yuck, so we left soon after. T seemed to have fun, I kept hiding in the house to try to cool down. V rude & antisocial of me, but I didn't really have a choice. T's mum couldn't come at all as the heat is too much for her, so that was a shame. 

Getting tired early again yesterday is making my current dilemma even harder. I asked my friend from Scotland, Lucy, to come down in early Aug for a last stay before baby. My best friend, Natalie, would also come to stay. Lucy has finally got back to me with dates, but she can only come at beginning of Sep, when I'll be 35 weeks. I can't decide whether to say yes or not. It's so hard to know how exhausted I'll be by then. Because she's coming from Scot, she's flying, so it's not like I can cancel at last min. She'd be staying for 2 nights & I would not feel that relaxed with her, I'd feel like I had to be host. Part of me thinks it would be nice to see her & my last chance before baby, but part of me is so tired already, I dread to think how tired I'd be by then. Feeling so yuck last night emphasised this, ESP when we were only there for less than 4 hours & I was just sitting around talking. Natalie says she can only come for one night. That might be better, but I don't think Lucy would think it was worth the flight for just one night. I suppose I won't know what the right thing to do is, there's advantages & disadvantages for both, I just have to pick one. I just don't know which to pick...!

Will you be exhausted by the end of your party or will you be going out after? We're off to a family meal with my brother for his 30th last week today. It doesn't look very sunny at the moment, I wonder if it will stay cool. It was actually 23 in the bedroom when we went to bed last night - not the usual 26, hurrah!

Hope you enjoy your party & are looking forward to being a lady of leisure for a while!

xxx


----------



## Pansy

PS Where's my ticker gone??!


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Yes where is your ticker? That site must be getting maintained or something.

Im very tired already. R went out last night and i picked him up at 2.30am and then had to drop his friend off which was not even on our way home. We didnt get into bed until after 3pm. He is feeling ill this morning lol silly man.

Yes the weather is not as sunny. It was even raining very lightly yesterday for a few mins. I hope the sun comes back. We have both just bought new dress lol. My forecast says thurderstorms to come!

Glad u had a nice time at the BBQ, sorry u didnt feel too good. I wouldnt push yourself to do anything u cant. U need to be in full health for baby arriving. I would probably have my friends come stay but i can see your situation. Does Lucy have other friends/family nearby to stay with and just sleep over the one night with Natalie? Or does she have a partner she can get a hotel with? If they stay at your house u could plan relaxing activities like a girly film or something that doesnt require much effort or energy. 

My friend who had the baby is called Jodi. She is coping really well. Ive never really seen her as the mothering type but she is doing a good job. He is tiny. Each time ive seen him it has been after seeing James so that makes their baby seem even smaller! She lets me hold him all the time so thats nice. 

All set for my party. Just need to find the energy lol. Cant believe im off after today. Im going to relax and do nothing tomorrow. Cant wait!

Hope u and your family enjoy your brothers birthday meal. Have a nice Sunday.

Xxx

P.s my finger is healing. My nails are quite strong. I trained as a nail technician in 2003 but only use the qualification to do my own manicures . My nail had ripped half way across a few days ealier and i had been wearing a plaster to stop myself from catching it. As soon as the plaster came off i caught my nail on my clothes and ripped it all the way across...ow! 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Good morning lady of leisure!

How did your party go? Hope it went well & you enjoyed it. My brothers meal was nice. He gave me a late birthday present of a rustic willow woven heart & I white jug/vase - both v tasteful & lovely, I think his girlfriend picked them lol! We gave him a 2nd hand golf bag for his birthday, which he seemed v pleased with.

We called in to see my cousin's wife & Isla after as the pub was near her house. I felt a bit sorry for her as we all descended on her after only a quick phone call! She didnt seem to mind too much. It was lovely to see Isla again & she was v pleased to see us.

How weird you had rain, that must've been odd! Did you have thunder yest? It was back to being hot here yest, but apparently it will rain later today/overnight. 

Lucy doesn't know anyone else nearby unfortunately. Her family live near London. If there was somewhere else she could go if I was too tired, I would find it easier, but there isn't, so she would waste the airfare if she didnt come down. I'm still undecided...

I slept in till 8:30 today! Shocking for me at the moment! T & I had agreed we would tell each other if we found out Kate had gone into labour. He texted me at just the moment I saw it on tv - he was surprised I hadn't texted him. I'm glad they didn't film her going into hospital, that would have been awful. What do you think it will be? I dreamt it was a boy, so that's my bet, although T thinks it will be a girl. We're worried they will steal our name if its a girl! We changed our girl name last week & we really like our new one, but will have to change it again if they steal it. I think our boy name is pretty safe.

I used to have a trick at school with micropore tape & nail varnish if my nails got a half break in them. I would use little squares of the tape & layers of clear nail varnish to cover te break. It often worked until the nail had grown long enough to be cut. You saying about using a plaster reminded me. Don't your friends ask you to do their nails? Do you wear nail varnish a lot? I haven't worn it since being pregnant as the research is undecided about whether chemicals get absorbed & harm baby, & I thought it was a luxury I could easily do without. My toes feel naked in sandals at the moment, I never expose my toes without nail varnish, but I've come this far so I don't want to give up now.

I'm going swimming today I think. Good to get it over & done with early in the week. I hope I don't have lane rage again lol!

Hope you enjoy your relaxing day. Will you do anything at all? When I plan a relaxing day, something always comes up so I end up doing something. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Your a squash now! 

Im glad u had a nice time at your brothers meal. What did u have to eat? Those present sounds lovely! I agree, I bet his girlfriend helped him! 
Did the present for your SIL arrive?

My dancing party went well. The DJ was amazing as always lol. He played loads of fun games with the children. Everyone really enjoyed it. They all brought food and there was enough to go around. We did a tombola too and made £100 on that. It was a successful end to the term. 

Today i'm chilling out. I am going to catch up on programmes I have recorded. Do u like Lee Evans? His new show was on TV last night so I might watch that today. Ive been to see him live twice. It was my ex boyfriend who got me into him and I love it lol. I will probably hoover and clean a bit too. 
Tonight we will go visit the inlaws before we go away tomorrow to Chester.
We are setting off in the afternoon as R has a meeting at work, so I will pack tomorrow morning.

I think Kate will have a girl. R saw a spoof website that said she had a boy last night lol. I hope she doesnt steal your names! She has copied off u plenty before! 

Nobody asks me to do their nails. They probably know i'm not very good lol. I always wear nail varnish on my toes but not very often on my fingers. I sometimes put clear on my fingers or french manicure but not very often........I need to start making more of an effort lol.

I hope you enjoy your swim! If you see people talking in the lanes just splash them haha 

Have a lovely day xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Glad your party went well. £100 on tombola is really good! Did you manage to totally relax yest? I've never seen Lee Evans, I should give him a try. Was the prog good?

We all had roast dinners on Sun. The meat & potatoes were good, but the veg was a bit dull - I always think roast are best if they come with a selection of interesting veg, at least cauliflower cheese, not just plain cauliflower! SIL's present arrived yesterday. It's a camera case advertised as being the right size for her new camera, but when it turned up it was way too small. V annoying! I've tried to contact the company to get a refund, but haven't managed to yet.

I didn't experience too much lane rage when swimming yesterday. There were a few school kids there, who got in my way a bit. The schools haven't properly broken up yet - no doubt it will be even worse in the proper holidays! Not sure what I'll do next week.

Did you have thunder & lightning last night? I had a terrible nights sleep, with the room being too hot. At 3 the lightning woke me up, it was constant flickers of light. I was then awake for ages & had nightmares when I got any sleep. I've been sick twice this morning, when I'm normally only ever sick once. I don't know what to do about work at the moment. I can't go on an empty stomach. I've still got an hour to decide. 

Lucy rang me last night. She suggested she meet me for lunch on her way to driving down to visit her dad in August instead, which sounds like a great idea. That way we can meet up, but it won't be so tiring. I'm glad the decision has been made for me, but I feel a bit bad I couldn't host her. I think she understood though, as I didn't actually say no.

My dream about the royal baby was right! Now I just need to get my cousins baby right too - I've dreamt a girl for her.

I hope you have a lovely, romantic break in Chester. Hope the hotel is as lovely as it sounds. Good luck with the golf if you are made to play! 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

Such a shame about your SILs present. Now u have the problem of sending it back and finding another gift :-(. Would of been a good present if it was the correct size.

I love Sunday dinner. Like cauliflower cheese too . I like most veg except asparagus and cabbage. 

Im managed to relax most of the day yesterday. Lee Evans new stand up show was good but not as funny as some of his past shows. I guess he could be running out of jokes lol. 
We went to see the inlaws last night and whilst there heard about the royal baby boy. So that was hot topic and i felt a bit bad because i should of been giving them a baby :-(. Hopefully i will soon. FIL had also dreamt that the royal baby was a boy! 

Im glad u have your plans with Lucy sorted. That will be a lot easier for u. How long have u known her? Is she a friend from school?

Sorry u had a bad night and then sick this morning. I hope u are OK now. Did u stay off work? How long now until u leave work? We havent had any thunder yet. 

Im going to watch last nights BB then start packing! Cant wait for a break. R is tired out from going out on Sat night and from work so he definately needs a break. Im going to drive us to Chester as he has to drive a long way to his meeting today. 

I hope your day gets better! 
Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

I hope you're having a lovely time! Is the hotel nice? Are you having meals there too? Is the spa lovely? I don't expect you'll have time to answer, but I thought I'd write anyway. I hope the drive was ok. How long did it take?

I've known Lucy since my first day at uni. She was in my tutor group & on my course. We bonded over our lack of ability with lab practicals! We both wanted to get good marks so always tried hard & stayed late, but neither of us were as committed to the course as others who actually felt passionate about it. We were sort of swots without actually being that interested in what we were doing! We only talk about every couple of months, but it's as if no time has passed when we do. I've known Natalie since uni too - she lived in the room next to me in the first year & we shared a house with other people in the 2nd year.

My day did improve, I managed to keep 3rd attempt at breakfast down & went to work. My brother came over after work with Tal & we walked him down to nearby river. Tal just stood in the river with the balls in his mouth, he didn't quite get the fact that he had to drop them near us so we could throw them! I think he was enjoying being cool. T enjoyed my brother's company - he always seems younger when he's about!

I'm meeting up with my brother's girlfriend again today. I'm not actually looking forward to it at the moment cos I was sick again this morning. I don't really want to eat out. Hopefully I'll feel better by lunchtime. I've got to have my whooping cough jab this evening. I'm worried about it, as it's more medical intervention, but I guess I just have to trust they know its safe. My cousin's wife had hers last week & was still sore & red 3 days later, so I'm not looking forward to that bit either. 

Hope you're having a wonderful time. Just think what you were doing 3 years ago today...! Such an exciting time! Have you bought anniversary presents? 

xxx


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## Pansy

https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/bedf699d1ac2fc7af0dd1395fb04dddb.jpg

Dear Janine & Richard,

Happy 3rd Wedding Anniversary! May the bond between you continue to strengthen & may you have many years of happiness ahead of you.

Love,

Catherine & Trevor


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## Pansy

Morning!

Happy Anniversary! Hope you have a lovely day at the zoo today! Hope there's not too much rain. 

It's weird opening the curtains & seeing rain on the window & low cloud! I might still wear a dress to work, as we have clients in & I don't have anything else smart that fits. Hope it's not too cold!

I had a nice lunch with my brother's girlfriend yesterday. The hour went v quickly again. When T got home, we went to a nearby lavender field. A farmer has diversified & started growing lavender & opened a shop & cafe. It's really beautiful there & smells lovely. T took loads of pics of the butterflies on the lavender.

I had my whooping cough jab yest too. My arm has been getting more sore over night, it's meant to last about 4 days, but the rest of me feels fine.

I've got to train the new boy at work today - I'm not looking forward to it. It's a complicated week as there's wages & tax to pay, so I hope he doesn't get under my feet too much. I'm just planning on letting him watch me this week, so he gets an idea about how it all works.

Hope you have a lovely day & enjoy reminiscing about you wedding day!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi Catherine.

I didnt have any internet connection! How frustrating. We are home now, very tired from walking round the zoo. I will write tomorrow and tell u all about it. I hope u are ok!? Sorry i couldnt write. Thanks for the anniversary card! 

Janine xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

I can't wait to hear all about your break! I hope you had an amazing time! How annoying not having Internet. It's completely fine that you didn't write to me, I wouldnt expect you to when you're having a romantic break, but I know how frustrating it can be when you can't just look things up when you want to. 

Training the new boy yest wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. He didnt seem to panic or worry about the task, & I even got more done than usual with his help! My other colleague has driven me mad since she started, cos she has a tendency to panic & say she's having the worst day ever when she just makes a tiny mistake. Then she either doesn't listen to you or argues with you when you try to teach her. This boy was much better than that thankfully. He just quietly listened & seemed to pick it up. He didnt make as many notes as I'd like, so I hope he will remember it all when I'm gone, but other than that he was fine.

My arm is getting sorer still where I had my jab on Wed. Last night the rest of me was feeling achey so I was worried that would be another side effect, but this morning it's just the hand of the injected arm that aches.

Are you looking after James today? Who had him on Tues? I bet he missed you!

I might be going shopping with my younger brother today, although he wasn't being very enthusiastic yest (even though it was his idea!) I expect he'll only let me know when he wakes up today, which will probably be at about 11! He's finished being a butterfly warden now, so he's having a rest. 

Hope you have a good day today. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning!

We had a lovely time in Chester. I drove there and it took over 2 hours. The hotel was very nice. After checking in we had a picnic in our room that I had made (my money saving idea! lol). On Wednesday after breakfast in the resturant we played golf lol. R played 9 holes but I got bored and stopped playing after 6 holes. The game finished a lot quicker without me doing my 100 hits! Some shots I did really good but that was just luck. R can hit his ball really far, so we spent sometime searching for his. The weather was nice and sunny. Then we went swimming and relaxed on the beds by the pool. We booked in the resturant for our evening meal and had to wait over an hour after ordering to get it. But it was worth the wait! Soooo nice!! I had lamb and it was amazing.
Yesterday we went to the Zoo and that was class. It rained when we arrived but soon got our very hot. I loved seeing all the animals. Funny that u said T was taking pics of butterflies, as R was too!!
Here is a photo. It was only taken with his phone though 

R drove back last night. We were so tired!

I'm glad training the boy went well. He might of been worried inside but hid it well. I hope he knows what he is doing! I would need to write everything down. 
It's lovely that u met up with your brothers gf again. This is becoming a regular thing . Is your brother pleased that u are getting closer and making an effort together? I think it's really good. Does she meet u in her lunch hour? What does she do for work? 

I hope your arm gets better from your whooping cough jab. If your hand is now sore, maybe it's working its way down your fingers and out your body 

I don't need to look after James as my SIL is a teacher and is off now for 6 weeks! I miss him so much! I will have to go round for a visit. My brother, Grant, (James dad) came round to put my bin out whilst I was away lol. I will need to see James or he will forget who I am. 
My other brother Craig is still on his own with his family in Croatia, but he is working now so keeping busy.

Today I need to unpack and do some washing and cleaning. The inlaws are coming round tonight as they are off in the caravans on holiday for 2 weeks from tomorrow. R and I are looking after the children's fish called Nemo! It is a goldfish won at a fair but it has grown very big and they have had it for years. We look after it every holiday and hope to god it doesn't die! I hope it survives these next two weeks!! 

Have a nice time shopping with your brother. I hope your arm gets better.
xxx


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## Pansy

Botheration!!! I was just finishing a long message to you (literary writing the last word) & my battery died, so now it's all disappeared! I don't have time to rewrite it now, so I will write again later. We're off to our first NCT course today - 10 til 3:30, long day! Glad to hear you had such a lovely time away.

Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Aww sorry u lost your message. Nightmare when something like that happens.
I hope u have a good time on the course and learn lots.
I will write later too 

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

I hope u are having a good day and enjoying the course. What have u learnt? Did u take notes . Did T go with u?

I had a rather lazy day yesterday and didn't get any washing done. I did clean the house as the inlaws came round last night. I had to entertain them on my own as R went out with work AGAIN! He only went out last Sat night and then last night too - he is not in my good books lol. He came in from work and told me he was going to York which is an hour away! He drove some of his work friends and didn't get home until 5am when it was light outside! I didn't sleep without him so we are both tired out. He left for work at 7am. I know he will be very tired tonight when he gets home. What a silly man!!

We now have Nemo the fish staying with us . I hope he survives. 

I'm starting to get tummy ache and a bit of cramping now. Im 11dpo and AF is due on Monday. If she doesn't arrive I'm planning on testing Monday morning but I don't hold out much hope. I have some cheap tests though so might as well have fun using them. AF will probably come straight after testing! My temp went lower yesterday but back up high again today, thats a good sign but probably my body playing tricks!

Today I'm spending time with my mum. We are going for a walk soon with Hollie. The weather looks lovely again 

We are not going for lunch for my friends 30th on Sunday now as she is ill. I've got a whole free weekend! Yipeeee!!!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

P.S u only have 70 days to go!!! xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

Sorry I didn't write again yest, I was just so mentally tired after the course. We covered a lot of different things! I can't decide if it was good or not - I don't know what I actually learnt. We seemed to go from one topic to another without any explanation - like a relaxation visualisation exercise to a practice contraction, but without any words about how we could use this to help us. We learnt about how to encourage the release of oxytocin, such as dim light, so that was good. There were 8 couples there. There was a lot of group work & answering questions in front of the group - I didn't like that bit being shy! T's least favourite bit was having to explain why we had our names - he hates his name so hated having to talk about it. He seemed to get on well with the blokes, even though he claims he is more shy than me - he is actually much better in groups than I am. We weren't the oldest couple there - I'm pretty sure at least 2 of the mums were older than me, one def was, so that was good. I was worried they'd all be mid 20s & I'd be ancient! We looked at pics of labour & it felt a bit like that would apply to everyone else in the room but not me - I'm a bit worried I'm too much in denial now!!

Interesting your temp went up yest, I wonder what that was about? How is it today? Shame you're feeling crampy, but then that doesn't necessarily rule anything out, I had that. I will be keeping my fingers crossed that this is the right month.

Your naughty husband, going out til 5am lol!! Was he really tired & grumpy yest eve? I so couldn't cope on 2 hours sleep! At least you didn't have to go to work yest. I'm so glad T doesn't socialise with his ok colleagues, I would miss him too much! (That makes it sound like I keep him locked up with me - of course I would encourage him to go out if he wanted to, I'm just pleased he doesn't want to)

Hope Nemo is settling in ok. What a lot of responsibility! I would be terrified of it dying with me too - they don't live that long do they? My parents have got a tropical fish that is 18 years old! It's about a foot long and eats algae through a sucker for a mouth. It's a Plecostoma, called Pleco! We often see them in zoos.

I'm glad you had such a nice time away, it sounded lovely! Cunning plan with the picnic! Well done or managing 6 holes, that's above the call of duty! Glad the food was nice & you enjoyed the zoo. Great pic of the butterfly, esp as its with his phone. It's funny you put up a pic of a butterfly on Fri, cos in my message in the morning I had a really strong urge to post one of T's pics! It must've been share a butterfly pic day! Here is pic I wanted to put up:

https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/b437775e55b5d9f9561ec5f0158cfc26.jpg

I don't know if my brother likes me meeting up with his GF or not. At first he was worried what I was going to say about him! Yes, she meets during her lunch break. She is a project manager. I'm not sure what that is, but it's high powered & well paid.

My arm is less sore today. Other people on the course were complaining about it hurting too, so it must be what happens. There's a red lump there now, about 10cm across. 

Shame you don't have to look after James over the summer. Maybe you should just turn up on Tues & Fris anyway!

Did you have lads of rain yest? It rained constantly from 4pm till I went to bed here. T made me watch The Dark Knight Rises last night - joy! The only good thing was that I was able to stay lying down for all of it (usually I've been getting too uncomfy lately) so I got lots of cuddles. Not sure that's enough compensation tho!

Glad you don't have to deal with your friends meal today, although obviously a shame she's ill. Do you have any new plans for today? We're off to see my cousin's new house today. She moved in in May but has had to do loads to it, so we're only going round to see it now. She was one of my bridesmaids. She lives about 45 mins away now.

Hope you have a good day. Hope you it lots of sleep! xxx


----------



## Pansy

PS can't believe I'm 30 weeks & only 70 days left! Eeek! 30 weeks seems much more serious than 29! I'm hoping to convince T to help me write a list of what we still need to do this morning.


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## MrsBroodyPant

Good evening!

Wow that butterfly photo is brilliant! Does T have a special camera? He is good at photography.

I'm glad u enjoyed the course even if u are not sure what u learnt. How did u answer the question about how u got your names? I got mine because my mum wanted me to have my dads initals, but I wouldn't want to explain that infront of a group and have to say my dad died etc....bit of a downer lol. I know that R's dad chose his name. How did your names come about?

Do u like the name George? I hope Will and Kate didn't steal your name? 

I watched a bit of the Olympic opening ceremony last night as it was on TV! 
Have u been watching BB? I was shocked with the lastest twist and at who left last Friday night. I don't know who i'd like to win this year.

It was a lovely sunny day here yesterday. I woke up to lots of rain this morning but its turned out nice again, but not as hot as we are used to 

My temp went down a bit today and I can feel AF approaching. If she doesn't come, I might test at 7am, just for fun. I know I will be disapointed and I have been a bit down today because I know this cycle is not my lucky one! Nevermind, there is always next month. I'm sure AF will arrive sometime tomorrow. Boooooo!!!

I'm glad your arm isn't as sore. Hopefully it will feel all better soon.

My friend re-arranged her birthday meal for Wednesday night. At least by then my AF pains should of sub-sided a bit.

I hope u have had a nice day seeing your cousins new house. Is it nice? 
Did u make your list with T? Not long now!!!! Can't believe u are 30 weeks . I'm very happy for u. I know when the baby arrives u won't have time to write to me everyday. I will have to get your email or re-join facebook so I don't lose touch with u. Would be strange to never speak again after writing everyday through such an important time in our lives. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I tested and got BFN. Stark white. Nevermind, it's what i expected anyway :-(

Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

Oh no, what a shame! I'm sorry to hear it was so white. I suppose it shows you know your body as you were expecting it. I can't really think what other positive spin to put on it. What a rubbish way to start the day. Just need AF to arrive now so you can move on to the next cycle. Onwards & upwards!

T has just bought a new camera a couple of weeks ago. He's been researching it for a year & deciding which one to get. It has lenses you can change, but it's compact, so not as big & heavy as normal cameras of that type. He's v pleased with it. His research has been slightly driving me crazy, so I'm glad it's been bought!

I told the group I was named after my great-grandmother, which I think is right, but I'm not sure. It might be my great-step-grandmother. T said he didn't know what his parents were thinking so we're going to be sure we have a more classic name. Lots of people didn't know, it was quite a daft question. One man was called a different name for the first 6 weeks of his life & then they changed it. One woman was born Samantha but changed it to Annie when at uni! V odd!

We liked George & it had recently come on to our list, but wasn't in the top 3 boys names, so we don't mind that its gone. T has an uncle George from his D's side of the family, who they have nothing to do with, so it would have had same first & surname as baby. I'm not convinced that would have been good, but t thought it was ok. My cousins wife said it was their name & it had been stolen! They are having trouble with boys names. She is from George in South Africa, so it would've been quite good for them. Oh well.

I'm watching Sat's bb as I write. It's weird Dan has gone, quite a shock for them all. I find Callum quite creepy. I don't know who I want to win either. I'm surprised Gina is so popular.

Not hearing your news would be no good at all! It would be so strange! You probably know more about what I've felt & done in the last 6 months than my best friend, through writing every day. I think we have really similar values & we'd be friends in real life. You hear of people in their 50s having pen friends they've written to for years & years - maybe we'll be like that lol!

My cousins house was a nice starter home. They've done loads to it - reprinted, new kitchen, new bathroom, new carpet, new windows! All since June! They originally thought it would take 2 weeks!!! They seem exhausted from all the DIY, but proud of their work. The only thing they got professionals in for was the windows, although they had help from his parents.

It's swimming day again today. I dread to think how many school kids will be in the pool. There may be some serious lane rage!! I get scared when people swim near me that they might accidentally hit my bump. I have the same problem when I'm out shopping. I want a big force field around me that people can't get through! I'm v tempted to wear a "wide load -keep clear" sign!! A flashing light on my head would be good too!!

Hope you manage to find something positive to keep you distracted from the wait for AF today. Do you have anything to keep you busy?

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I felt sadder yesterday not knowing than i do now. Like u said, i just need AF to come so i can start a fresh cycle. My cramps have gone at the moment lol tipical. I'm going on a hen do this weekend so i will use that to distract me and to focus on. I would of felt like u if i was pregnant and not wanted anyone near my tummy in a crowded bar, even at 5 weeks, so it must be even worse with a bump. It least i will be able to have a couple of drinks.

R is so much like T when iy comes to choosing and researching stuff. He takes ages and asks for my opinion even though he knows i'm not really bothered.

Its a shame that your cousin might of used the name George. She will probably have a girl and then it wont matter. 

Your cousin has done amazing to get all that DIY done in such a short time! Puts me and R to shame 

I find Callum on BB creepy too. He is too over-the-top and smarmy. Gina is a good character to watch but i wouldnt of expected her to be favourite to win. Sophie is a good person but she swears too much. I dont really have a favourite.

Nemo is still swimming strong  i hope u enjoy your swim today. 

Yes it would be nice to keep writing. Ive never had a pen pal or anyone i have written to as much as this before. I tell u more than i get to tell my friends too. I'd never talk to them about testing or anything about my cycle. I tend to keep more private in real life. But i like sharing with u. I think we are very similar too. Except u are much better at writting than me . I bet u have nice hand writting too. I don't like my handwritting very much. 

R is off work today and tomorrow so we are going to go places but no plans made yet. 

Have a nice day xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

How are you? Has AF arrived? 

Nice that R has 2 days off. Dd you go out yest? Where are you going today? 

I have my staff meeting today - eek! I've made a plan/itinary, so I know what I'm going to be talking about, so at least that's something. I just hope I can go through all I have to without muddling it up! I'm really not confident with public speaking. Hopefully it will be ok as they are all people I know.

Glad Nemo is still swimming well. My swimming was really good yesterday - I had a whole lane to myself for the whole 30 lengths! My flashing light must've worked!! There were less serious swimmers there than usual, the kids must've put them off. There were several kids & 2 lots of annoying gossiping "swimmers", but they didnt bother me in my private lane! It was heaven! I was quicker to swim my lengths too, cos I could just swim in a straight line, not round people.

Did you have thunder yest? We had loads & lots of huge downpours. T & I went to Bath & got caught in a downpour. I had sandals, thin cotton trousers & a t-shirt on - I looked v inappropriately dressed! In between the showers it was sunny, so I was hot then.

I don't like my handwriting at all either. Lucy has lovely rounded, even sized writing, mine is all a bit random. It's getting worse as I get older too. I find some letters just turn into lines!

I'd better go and try to find something to wear for my meeting. I think I might still have to wear my dress, even though its raining. I don't actually have anything smart to wear. I will feel like a bit of a fool!

Hope you & R have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

AF didnt come yesterday but my temp has nose dived today and is now very low so i expect AF today.

Good luck for your staff meeting. Do u have u stand up at the front or just sit down round a table to talk? Standing up would frighten me more. Whats your last day at work? 

Yesterday we walked Hollie up the woods near our house. Lucky we missed the rain. We went to my mums house and it thundered whilst we were there but not for long - i wanted a big storm!! R cooked a lovely shepherds pie for us all and it was gorgeous. 

Today we are planning on doing a bit of gardening if it doesnt rain. Then we will go somewhere will Hollie.

Your VIP swim sounded good. Keep up at this rate and u will be in the next olympics! 

Bath is a good place to get wet lol. What did u do there? Baby shopping? 

Im looking after James for a bit on Thursday. Cant wait! My brother Grant has a hospital appointment and his wife Helen is going with him. So i get James 

I hope the staff meeting went well. Have a good day
Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

How are you? Has AF arrived now or is she still hiding?

According to my boss, my meeting was "brilliant"! It seemed to go ok. Everyone was a bit cynical of my handouts to start with, but I think they saw the point. We were all sitting down, I didn't have to stand up thankfully! I finish at the end of August. I've only got 9 more days at work - woohoo! I can't wait till I don't have to deal with my smokey/stinky perfumed, incompetent colleague anymore. 

Did you manage to get any gardening done? It was quite sunny here in the afternoon, although very grey & drizzly in the morning. It looks grey again this morning. It was so much easier when I could just put the same dress on each day! I don't know what to wear again today. I'm off to the women only part of the NCT course this AM. I have to bring something that symbolises a woman I respect who is also a mother. I then have to share with the group what I admire about this woman. I don't like sharing with the group lol! I'm taking my favourite photo of my mum, which was taken on my wedding day, which she was such a help with. (I hope no one notices that T printed it on the wrong side of the photo paper!! Oops!) I've written a few things I admire on the back. I hope I've done it right! I wonder what else we will do. It's a 2 hour session. T is a bit put out that its women only - he can't imagine what part of this he doesn't need to know about. Nor can I, to be honest, but maybe people don't share as much as we do?

We were baby shopping in Bath. We thought we had chosen our cot bedding & hence the theme for the nursery, but we changed our mind over the weekend, so we wanted to look at the original & see if we could find alternatives. We found a Jojo Maman Baby shop that we didnt know was there. It had lovely baby grows & maternity clothes, I wish I'd found it before! Most of the baby clothes were gender specific, but we got a stripey baby grow in organic cotton, so soft, reduced from £15 to £5. It's 3-6 months, so will fit baby after Xmas. It had really nice toys too. We'll def go back once baby is born. They had a catalogue in which we found nice nursery stuff for if baby is a boy, but the girl stuff wasn't as nice. 

In another shop we found an ex-display cot bed that comes with a free mattress. We thought about it over night & reserved it by phone yesterday morning. Cots had been a contentious issue between us - T wanted this expensive one that I thought was ugly, chunky & didn't like that there was no drop side. I was happy to use my SIL's old one, even though it was white & the rest of our nursery furniture is wood. This one is not much more than we would have paid for a mattress, has a drop side & should go with the rest of our furniture. I'm pleased to have chosen one, it makes me feel more organised. 

Yey that you're looking after James tmr! Is it just a check up for Grant or does he have to have more treatment? 

Is there a theme for your friend's hen do? Do you have to wear anything in particular? Where are you going? 

I'd better go & give more thought to the qualities of my mum that I admire! Hope you have a good day. Does R work 9 to 5? 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

Well done with your staff meeting. U sound so pro with handouts! And 9 days left....whoop whoop!!

Funny that u need to talk about a mother who u admire. This class teacher is just getting her class to do all the work! Lol. Surely everyone is going to choose their own mother? Funny if someone chose Victoria Beckham or a celeb lol. I hope u have a good lesson and learn lots. Shame T cant go. If he dressed up as a woman and put a cushion up his jumper he might of got in! 

Yesterday we did a lot of gardening. R cut lots of hedges and bushes so it looks neater but overall it looks no different lol. It was a hot day here. AF came so i gave up gardening and just sat in the sun and watched R. Then we went to a local village where the inlaws live and R grew up, and we got ice-cream. I got a massive tub and R thought i wouldnt eat it all but i proved him wrong .

R is back at work today 8-5 then we are going for Jodi's 30th birthday meal at 8pm. Im not looking forward to it as she has just had her baby and everyone else has children so it will be baby talk all night. But they all know what happened with us, so hopefully i will be OK. Her husband Mr Insensitive had better not say the wrong thing! 

So im cd2 now and took my clomid tablet this morning. I usually take them at night but decided not to as im on the hen night. Infact, the month i got bfp i took my tablets in the morning. FX this is my month! 

Rachels hen do is in Manchester. The theme is princesses. We have bright pink t-shirts with 'Rachels Princesses' on the front in Disney writing and our name on the back - i'm 'Juicey Janine' - ive been that on a few hen nights before lol. 
It should be fun but i only know Rachel and her sister so im going to have to make friends . Im meeting up with Rachel tomorrow afternoon to talk about the plans as they have been organised on facebook so im not in the loop. 

Grant is going for a check-up tomorrow i think. I cant wait to see James 

Im glad u have ordered your cot and are feeling more organised. Its so exciting. Not long now...

Have a nice day xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

How did the meal go? Did Mr Insensitive behave himself? Was there any non baby talk?

Have you had any side effects from taking the clomid in the morning or is it ok?

My class was good yesterday, I enjoyed it more than Sat - probably cos I feel more familiar with the people. I decided to wear a stripey top & black trousers. When I got there, I found I was one of 4 out of 7 wearing a stripey top lol! One lady said she felt like she'd missed the dress code memo! We heard about how everyone got there BFPs. One lady had had 5 miscarriages before this baby & another lady's baby was a frozen embryo from ivf after many miscarriages. 2 had been trying for a year plus & 2 got pregnant within 6 months - 1 on her first attempt, despite being convinced she would have problems. It was v hard not to cry while the ladies were talking re miscarriages. 

We talked more about labour, so that was good, as I felt I needed more details. The mother bit was odd - some people chose their grandmothers, one lady chose her aunt. They had stories about how they'd overcome obsticles like death of a child. Me saying what I admired about my mum seemed a bit lame in comparison. 

Lol that you proved R wrong with the icecream!

The princess theme sounds good, any tiaras being worn? Sounds fun. I was Captivating Catherine at my hen weekend. Lucy was almost Juicy Lucy, but she became Lushious Lucy. She texted yest to ask if she could come and visit today!!! Unfortunately I can't get a day off work at that late notice, especially while I'm training the boy. She going to call in next Wed instead. I'd better start removing the cobwebs I've been ignoring lately!!

Better get ready for work. I feel a bit pants today. I was awake for ages in night til I was sick, now I feel exhausted. Hopefully I'll be fine when I get going. 

Hope you enjoy your morning with James & hearing about the hen night.
Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning Captivating Catherine.

The meal was really good thanks. Not too much baby talk and it was nice to go out with our friends without all their children. Mr Insensitive was well behaved . We had a lovely evening.

We got a big shock this morning. Every thurs we get a text from our bank and today our mortgage comes out. The text showed we had paid almost 2 grand mortgage payment! We had to ring the banks etc to sort it out. I was panicking lol. We wanted to round our payment up a bit and pay more but they doubled it!! Lol

Im going to look after James at 11am. Im not going to see Rachel now to talk about hen do as she just text saying she has mice in her front room and had to leave lol. 
Im going shopping later as i want some leather shorts which i might wear this weekend. We are wearing tiaras!!

Im glad u enjoyed your class yesterday. It must of been really sad. Is everyone willing to share? It could be hard for some to talk about. I dont know how i would feel about sharing my story. Id end up crying. When is your next class?

Nice that u are seeing Lucy next week. I have friends like that, who i dont see for a while but nothing changes. 

Im cd3 now. I dont think clomid is giving me any side effects....hopefully just a BFP 

Have a good day. I hope u feel better and not too tired
Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

What a nightmare with your mortgage payment! That would scare the life out if me! Glad you got it all sorted. 

Oh dear that Rachel has mice lol! What is she going to do about it? Maybe she needs a cat!! Hope you enjoyed looking after James. Was he pleased to see you? What did you do with him?

How was your shopping trip? Buy anything nice? How far is the nearest town fir shopping from you?

Everyone in the class was willing to share, but coukd have easily not shared if they hadn't wanted to. The question was just how did you feel when you got your BFP, so they could have just spoken about this one if they'd wanted to. 

My boss said again how brilliant my meeting was yest & added that they are really going to miss me. I'm glad they realise this lol! I'm so glad I'm not going to be there when they try to mudde through, it all seems like a nightmare. I was a bit naughty yest, the colleague who I can't stand was making a huge fuss about how one ream of our headed paper was slightly different from the others. She started the story with "I had such a terrible time on Tues" cos of this - get a life woman! No one is really going to notice! And it really isnt that big a deal, it doesnt ruin your day!! Anyway, she expected me to sort this out for her, but I just said "the number of the printers is in the phone book, feel free to sort it out"! Thats what she'll have to do when I'm on leave. Funnily enough, she then shut up about it! It amazes me she is so overexcited about this, yet is willing to send out letters with loads of spelling & grammer mistakes in them. I'm so nasty, my tolerance for her seems to go down each week. She was saying to me yest that she doesn't think our other colleague likes her. It's funny she thinks that, yet hasn't picked up on the fact that I can't stand her!! 

I think the boy has learnt that he should write notes - I left him to do the tasks I'd taught him last week & he coukdnt remember how to do them. He wrote a lot more notes this week! My boss asked me to tell him to dress differently, that was a bit awkward. He has been wearing suit trousers, a shirt & tie. We have a more smart casual dress code, as we want a more relaxed impression for the kids. I had to tell him to lose the tie & wear a more casual shirt. He took it quite well.

Did you have the heat wave yest too? It was so hot! I think it's meant to cool down again today. I've got a dull day today of washing & paperwork. I ought to make a start on tidying for Lucy's visit too, if I have time. What are you up to? Hope you have a good day.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning!

I loved seeing James yesterday. Before they left my brother said "i cant wait for James to pull himself up on the furniture", then he went upstairs to finish getting ready and James pulled himself up!! Lol. It was amazing. Grant saw him do it again when he came downstairs. I just stayed indoors and played with him yesterday. It was boiling hot and now he can crawl really well its fun to play on the floor. 
I went shopping afterwards but didnt buy anything. I tried on some shorts but i didnt like the fit. The shops are about 20 mins from my house but close to my mums. My other brother Craig came for tea at mums so that was nice to see him.

Rachel does have a cat! She left the cat locked in the room with the mice lol. 

You are doing well at work with sorting out your rude colleague and training the new boy. Funny that u had to tell him to lose the tie! 

Today im going to cut the grass - i always seem to be doing that lol. Then clean a bit and pack for hen do tomorrow. Im driving to Manchester and taking Rs car as it holds 5, whereas mine only seats 4 people. We are meeting at 10.30am to set off. Im getting nervous! 

I hope u have a good day even tho u are doing paperwork and washing. Find time to put your feet up and have a day dream about your baby 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

Lucy is now coming on Sun! Argh! So instead of tidying, I am writing to you! V productive!! T is home & we have tidied a bit, but having a rest now. I guess we will be tidying tomorrow! T likes the house to be like a show home when people come round, I just like anything embarassing to be out of sight! It was like a show home last time she visited, so we'd better not look like our standards have slipped!!

Are you staying away in Manchester then? A nice hotel or just somewhere to lay your head? You're brave driving everyone. I don't like driving other people. I lost my confidence a bit when I couldn't drive for 7 years cos of my ME. I worry I'll get too involved in conversation & forget what I'm doing lol! What will you do in the daytime?

Our grass might actually need cutting too. It hasn't gran for weeks cos of the sun, but I think the rain has woken it up again. It's good you do that - its another of poor T's jobs in our household!

Amazing that James can pull himself up, he'll be walking in no time! Then you'll have your work cut out in Sept! What age does your SIL teach?

Rest time is over, better go & tidy something! Who do you think will go on BB tonight?

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Its been a very hot day! I only managed to cut the back garden as i was too warm and that took me an hour. 

Im all packed for tomorrow bit Rachel text and said something about tutus and tiaras! I wasnt planning on a tutu lol i missed that memo! Good job i sell dance clothes as i will have to grab a tutu from my shop in the morning. 
Im a bit nervous about driving to be honest, but im a bad passenger. I get car sick and dont like sitting in the back of a car all squashed so driving is the better option. R has cleaned his car for me and put petrol in and done the tyre pressure and water so im sorted! 
We are going for lunch then to a spa and im getting a manicure. After that we get ready for the evening and have a 3 course meal before going out to tiger tiger. I feel tired just thinking about it lol. Im going to be a real lazy bones on Sunday.

U know i started that thread for a bfp by oct? Well today there was an argument and some of the ladies fell out! It was strange. I didnt like it. Im not used to people falling out. Im glad ive got u to chat with 

So Lucy is coming sooner. What will u do on Sunday? How long has it been since u last saw her. Does she have any children?

My SIL teaches English in secondary so aged 11-16 years - the worst kind! Lol
Ive taught drama in a secondary school and has to leave because the children were so badly behaved. Ive also taught dance in a college and didnt like that lol the students thought they were too cool for school!! Too cocky and clever. 

I think Callun or Hazel will leave tonight. Going to watch it when R gets out the shower. 

I hope u got some more tidying done. Do u still have a cleaner? I like my house like a show home too but i still have my nieces and nephews drawings and painting on my kitchen wall . I always keep my downstairs nice and tidy but upstairs is a different story. Looks like a bomb went off upstairs lol.

Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

We're so alike - I'm a bad passenger too! I'm ok I. Front, but can't be in the back. Trouble is, T is even worse than I am! If we go out with my parents, he always has to drive my Dad's car & my parents go in the back! I hope baby doesn't inherit it too!

Lucky you can get a tutu easily! Hen dos are so funny - I'm not convinced many princesses wear tutus lol! It does sound like like you'll have a lovely day with the trip to the spa though. Hope you get a nice colour on your nails. I always have trouble choosing what colour to get done - there's too much choice & I like it to last, so want a colour I can wear to work. I so want to paint my nails! I'm probably being silly banning myself cos of the chemicals, I noticed lots of the NCT women had painted toes. But I've put so many chemicals in myself with my sickness pills, I feel like maybe I can balance it a bit by not painting my nails! My toes look v bare!

Oh dear to the people on your thread arguing - it sounds like something on BB! It's such a shame when people aren't supportive of each other on here. I'm always amazed when I occasionally see threads like that. I'm definitely of the "if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" philosophy. Hope they are nicer to each other today. Have any of them managed to get their BPFs?

We'll be taking Lucy out to lunch, although not sure where. Our nearest pub is a bit fancy, I don't know what their Sunday roast will be like, if they do one. Lucy & her partner James are driving 2 hours to visit us, so we don't want to go too far. I last saw Lucy this time last year. Before that, I saw her for my hen weekend & wedding in 2010 but hadn't seen her since 2002 before that! I don't know us that happened, we spoke regularly but never met up. She met James in the 1st term of uni, but he never really hung out with us, so I've only had about 3 conversations with him in my life! They dated from 1998 til 2007 when they moved in together (bought a flat) in Glasgow - until then they hadn't lived in same town since uni! He says the mortgage is enough of a commitment & they don't need to get married & she goes along with this, although I think she'd like to get married. She hasn't decided if she wants kids yet. He works on a submarine and is gone for up to 6 months at a time, so it wouldn't really work at the moment. When he's away, she is only allowed to send him one 120 word message a week & he is not allowed to message her at all! I couldn't cope with that!

My best friend Natalie teaches French at a secondary school - it sounds a nightmare! I couldn't do it! I'm not surprised you didn't like it. Little kids are much nicer!

Yes, we still have a cleaner. I had arrange for her to come on Mon before Lucy came in Wed - bit late now lol! We have tidied most of the house, just need to dust and hoover now. I've decided she's not going in my bedroom, that's in too much of a state to tidy! The rest of upstairs is ok, that will have to do!

I hope you have a lovely time in Manchester! Hope you enjoy the spa and have enough energy for the night out! I'm sure once you get started you will get some energy! Hope you have a great time!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi.

Im all ready to go. Just eating breakfast now. Im so strange because i eat cereal without milk on lol. 

I like hearing about your friends, its interesting. Mr Insensitives name is James too! We know a lot of Rs and James between us! 

Yes it was the ladies on the thread u have their bfps that were acting funny with us who are still ttc. Anyway, its seems to be a nicer place now lol.

I hope i have a nice weekend and i will tell u all about the hen do tomorrow  
Princesses in tutus lol
Xxx


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## Pansy

(_quietly_) Morning!

How's your head??! Did you have a good night? What were the other people like? Did Rachel have fun? I'm looking forward to hearing all about it.

Our house is nearly tidy enough. Just need to do the kitchen after breakfast & Hoover downstairs. My brother Steve came over last night for tea, so that was nice.

We had huge downpours & thunder & lightning again yest. T decided the biggest storm was the ideal moment to go to the tip!! As we drove, a huge crack of thunder happened basically overhead, which was scary. When we got to the tip, there were several other cars sitting there waiting to use it once it stopped raining. T got bored of waiting so started unloading, which made the other men copy him. They soon have up tho & he got totally soaked! What a muppet! I refused to help him as I'd said we should wait til the storm had passed before going out!

My aunt & uncle are away for the weekend so my cousin asked us to be on standby to look after little Isla in case his wife goes in to labour. She's due in less than 2 weeks. I kept dreaming we'd missed a call from them!

I'd better get on with the tidying. Hope you had a great night & you're not too hungover! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Good morning!

Sorry i didnt write yesterday. I wasnt hungover but i was very tired. 

Did u have a nice day with Lucy? I hope u enjoyed seeing her.

The hen do was fun. We got there and checked in and then went for lunch. Then we went in the spa which was lovely but i got very hot. I think taking clomid makes me extra hot and i went in the steam room and jazcuzzi and ended up with a headache before id even started drinking lol. I got my nails done and they looked nice but we went to get changed afterwards and i kept spoiling them lol. I shared a room with Rachel so it was fun getting ready with her. She had to wear a daft outfit with a massive tutu. We had a 3 course meal in the hotel in a private room which looked gorgeous and the food was amazing. But eating made me tired and not in the mood to party as i was so full up. We got a taxi to the club and it was good in there with lots of different rooms to go in, i had to make sure i didnt get lost! One girl was 13 weeks pregnant and i couldnt stop thinking about how i should if been pregnant. I wished i wss at home bare foot and pregnant with R rather than dancing in a club. Everyone seemed quite tired coz we had eaten so much so we didnt stat out long . Back at the hotel with ate some willy cakes (more food) and talked before bed. It was fun but there was no games and i love games :-(. And no stripper lol. Rachel really enjoyed herself so thats all that matters. Rachels MIL and SIL were there and they are really rough, they left a lasting impression lol. All her friends were nice and friendly. One girl was very quiet and went to her room after the meal and didnt come to the club.

We just drove home after breakfast. Im glad that i drove and didnt drink much coz i didnt feel sick. I just felt so tired. R took me for sunday lunch then i went to sleep for a bit afterwards. Then we got a takeaway for tea which was horrible so we know not to go there again but our usual takeaway was closed. 

Today im planning my summer dance school and college which i am running later this week and next week. No more lady of leisure! Lol.
Im going to have to do lots of washing and ironing too.

Going to the tip in the rain sounds like something R would do lol. Not going to let a thunder storm stop u! Lol.

R got a letter from the hospital saying his kidney function isnt as good as it was so he needs to go for an appointment soon. Thats a bit worrying. He has a condition that makes his system attack his kidneys and gets checked every so often. I hope its nothing to serious and can be corrected. 

I hope u have a nice day today whatever u are doing xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

I did my trick of writing a whole message & then it getting deleted when I pressed post again - how annoying! 

Glad you enjoyed the hen do. I'm exhausted fom just reading about it lol! Did you have games at your hen do? We had several, one of which involved ringing T to ask what his fantasy womn was - I think he found that v embarassing! Do you play games as a family? We do, especially at Christmas. I think it's my favourite thing about Xmas, especially Boxing Day when we play with my cousins. I think Pictionary is probably my all time favourite.

Oh dear re R's letter, I hope he is ok. How soon does he have to have an appt? At least if they're monitoring him any problems get picked up quickly.

My tea is ready, so I'm going to post what I've written & write more in a bit - dont want to lose it again! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Aww sorry u lost your post again....how annoying.

I had games at my hen do. A mr and mrs game where R had already answered questions and i had to match his answers or i had to drink a shot. I loved my hen do, it was class.
I hope u enjoy your tea xxx


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## Pansy

Back again!

We really enjoyed seeing Lucy & James yesterday. They stayed for 3 hours & I was exausted by the time they left - I'm v glad she didn't come to stay. Like I said, I've never really spoken to James before but was pleasantly surprised to find he's really nice. He seemed genuinely interested in her friends & they were v sweet together, without being too much, if you know what I mean. I'm really pleased to know she's with someone nice. 

I had a quiet morning cos I've had a busy afternoon. I went swimming & was outraged to find 3 other people in my lane - how rude!! Don't they know its my lane?! I will have to get a reserved sign put up! To be fair, I was probably annoying them more than they annoyed me, as I was slowest, but I tried to keep out of their way. 

I've been to see the midwife this afternoon. All is well, baby is measuring exactly how he/she should. The MW was impressed with my haemoglobin levels, so that's really good, I'm v relieved I don't have to take iron tablets. I'd heard some horror stories from a lady on my course & I mentioned them to the MW. She spent ages reassuring me, so that was really nice. When she listened to the heartbeat, she had a guess at the gender. At my 17 week scan she said the train/galloping horse theory was more accurate as pregnancy goes on. She guessed girl as it was definitely a galloping horse. I think it's an old wives tale, but it's funny she felt she could guess. T seems to think she knows what she's talking about, as she's heard enough babies. I wonder... (Notice how I called baby "he/she" above, not just he anymore!!)

We've got to go to the NCT breast feeding class in a minute. It's from 7 till 9:30 - we're both normally in bed by 9! I hope we can stay awake!! 

How did your planning go? Did you get lots of washing done? Hope you had a good day. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I hope u enjoy your course. Its a late one! Hope u didnt fall a sleep lol.

Ive done all my planning for the college and its taken all day! Im totally prepared now with lesson plans and music and choreography. They children do set and costume design too so i need to go buy a few pieces tomorrow. I will have to plan the school another day coz im sick of doing it now . Ive just quickly but some washinh on and not done any ironing....opps!
R isnt in from work yet! Im starving....

Im glad u had a lovely time with Lucy and think her partner is nice. Will u get chance to see her again before baby is born? 
I think your going to have a boy but im always wrong lol so im guessing your MW will be right!!!! How exciting. 

Im not temping or doing opks this cycle. Im not even going to think about what CD im on. Im just going to enjoy sex and chill out a bit. Im kind of getting tired of ttc. The summer holidays is prob the best time to relax and not focus on ttc so much. But i do need to book a docs appointment or im going to run out of clomid and have no chance of getting pregnant. Ive only got one more round of tablets left.

Enjoy your course xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

Why was R home so late yest? Was it overtime or does he usually have to work that late on a Mon? 

Having a relaxed cycle sounds a good plan. The rest will probably do you good, having a chilled summer sounds good. I was wondering when you'd need to get more clomid as I was swimming yest! Will the dr give it to you or do you need to get referred?

I'm so tired this morning after the course. It was really useful, we both learnt loads & it also confirmed some of the things I believed. I came away feeling more determined & empowered. It was the best session of the course so far. 

I keep having stress dreams about Christmas! I had another one this morning & have woken up feeling v stressed. I keep dreaming I've missed it. This time I was stuck in a random house waiting for someone to turn up so I could leave & I missed the whole day with my family. Since T & I have been together, Xmas day has involved travelling round visiting both our families. At one point we had to go to 3 different houses in the one day, so it's never relaxing. I think maybe my dreams are a combination of being keen to have a relaxed day this year & worries about how my life is about to change. I'm going to talk to T tonight & see if we can agree a plan where we see his family on Xmas eve & my family on Xmas day. Or maybe I'll wait til he's less tried....! (A bit ridiculous worrying about Xmas in August!! I never normally even think about it til Nov).

Are you doing more planning today? I have to do specific training with a colleague today. I'm hoping it won't be too hard. My boss will be abroad from today for almost 2 weeks, so I'm hoping that will give me time to get things sorted. 

Hope you have a good day.

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

R should of been home about 6pm yesterday but they have a store visit from an area manager today so he needed to stay back. I played war with him for not ringing me lol. Think it went in one ear and out the other . 

I got a migraine last night and it is still hurting now. Could of been from working on my computer all day. 

R got his appointment for 23rd September so its not very soon. I guess if it was more urgent then he would of got seen sooner.
Im going to ring the docs today for my appointment. I need to be referred back to the fertility clinic at the hospital but i was told that my GP might give me clomid but im not sure. 

When we went out for Jodis 30th meal last week we were all talking about our plans for Xmas lol. We were laughing at how early everyone makes plans now they have children who grandparents want to see. Im lucky because we have Xmas at home now. I cook the dinner and my mam & nanna came last year, then we go to see the inlaws on the evening. Its going to be quiet this year. Obviously i expected a baby which would distract from losing namna but now we lost both :-(. I need to be pregnant for Xmas to make it feel better .
Why dont u have Xmas at your house? 

Its good that u found the course useful. Id love to breast feed but dont put too much pressure on yourself to do it as my SIL couldnt. Whens your next lesson?

Im going to do more planning today but not spend too long on my computer. 

Did u see BB? I loved Ginas secret task where she wrote the letters lol Dexter was funny as! I also liked the friends/family noms. That stirred it up a bit. 

Have a good day. Not long left at work!!! Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

How's your migraine? I hope it's better now. Do you get migraines often? I've never had a proper migraine, thankfully. Hope you were able to get some planning done yest. 

That's probably good news about R's appt being in Sept as it can't be urgent, although it would be better for you both to know sooner. Did you get a drs appt?

How funny that your friends were planning Xmas! I thought I was mad to be thinking about it. We had Xmas here 2 years ago - T did amazing food that he took all December making & freezing in advance. I think he put himself off the whole thing, as he doesnt want to do a less good job. I think it would probably be harder todo the meal with a LO. I spoke to T last night & he said we could probably see his family on Xmas eve & then just my family on Xmas day, having both the evening of Xmas eve & the morning of Xmas day here. Plans will probably changed before then. I really hope you have a BFP before Xmas, there's still plenty of time for that.

Our last NCT course is on Sat - a whole day course again. I hope the ladies will keep in touch. We've made a Facebook page to arrange meet ups. It doesn't feel enough time to make friends, but hopefully we will meet up again.

Gina's letters were so funny! Interesting to see what the friends & family thought. It's good that so many people are up, I wonder who will go?

I'm taking my brother Steve out shopping today & hopefully for lunch. He wants some new shirts apparently. There's an outlet village near my parents home, so we'll go there. 

When does your summer school start? Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

My heads all better now. I dont get migraines very often but when i get one its horrible and i cant see for a bit. Im ok now though.

My dance college starts tomorrow. Its thurs-sat 2pm-7pm. Then i have Sunday off and my summer school is mon-thurs 10am-3pm. 

Ive made a docs appointment for Tues 20th as R is off that day and we go collect his tablets that day too. He takes blood pressure tablets everyday to protect his kidneys. 

Its good if u can get away with seeing the inlaws on Xmas eve. That would make Xmas a lot easier and less stressful for u. I like to relax at Xmas. The only thing i do is the dinner....yum yum!!

I think Charlie or Hazel will go from BB this week. They had big arguments last night which didnt make them look very nice. I think i want Charlie to go, she doesnt know her own mind lol.

I hope u have a nice day with Steve and he gets some nice shirts . 
Today im going shopping witg my mum. She wants new curtains and things for her house. We still havent finished all the work yet but R is going to take a week off work soon so we can finish...yipee!! Cant wait til its all done.

Have a good day xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

I think I'm still asleep! Can't seem to wake up this morning! Feel like I'm gong to be late for work already. But my boss is on hol, so hopefully no one will notice!

Glad your head's better. Did you buy anything with your mum? Did she get what she wanted? It's nice you get to spend quite a bit of time with your mum. My mum works full time so I only get to see her at the weekend, when T is there as well. It's v rare we get to go somewhere just the 2 of us. Some weekends we're too busy to see my parents at all, which is a shame. I FaceTime my mum & text her, so get to talk to her like that.

Steve & I had a nice time. He got his shirts, I didn't buy anything. We then took Tal for a walk in the woods. He loved that, he was much more enthusiastic than he's been for a while. I think it's the cooler weather. They both then came to our house & Tal played ball in the garden & followed T round everywhere in case he had something nice to eat! T doesn't normally feed him, so I don't know why he was getting special treatment!

I really hope it's quiet at work today so I can sit there pretending to work but actually resting! I've no idea why I'm so tired, I didn't sleep too badly, just woke up lots.

How's the not temping going? Are you missing it? Or are you managing to stay relaxed about it?

I'd better go & attempt to get to work on time! Hope your dance college goes well. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

I feel the same today like i just cant wake up lol. I think i will feel better after a shower. I can tell ive had a really deep sleep and lots of dreams. 

Im not wanting to work either but i know once i get started i will love it. Irs not good for me to be off work as i have too much time to think. I had a cry last night. I just feel like such a failure and that my life isnt progressing. My friend Jodi wants to meet up soon and i just dont feel like seeing her with her new baby as it will make me sad for the rest of the day. Hope i dont sound selfish. R says i need to move on and be strong and get over it. I know what he means as it would make life a lot easier but its hard for me to do. Im not really thinking about ttc, just thinking about what i could of had. I need to throw myself into my work to take my mind off it and give me a new focus. 

I had a nice day with my mum. Yes i am lucky that i get to see her such a lot. I didnt see her monday or tuesday and she missed me and felt lonely, bless her. She bought curtains but they didnt have the curtain poles that she wanted. She bought me a few things too 

Nice that u spent yesterday with your brother. We took Hollie out yesterday too and she seems to like the weather now its not too hot. My mums house backs onto a school feild and we have a gate out. We used to be able to walk for miles but then they put one of those big green fences around the school so we are trapped on the feild. Nobody else has a gate out and now its fenced in it feels wrong to be playing on the feild but my mums been doing it for 60 years! Now its the school holidays we can go out whenever we want lol. 

Im going in the shower now then to get ready to dance. Im going to be aching tonight! 
Have a nice day, i hope u didnt need to work too hard 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

I'm sorry to hear you were upset. It's so hard. I guess this is the first proper time off you've had to process it all since it happened. You mustn't think you're a failure though. It's not your fault or R's, it's just one of those things that happen. Grieving takes a long time & has lots of ups & downs. Are there any support groups/websites which offer ways to get through losses? Not focused on TTC, just tips on how to process what you've been through. I had a quick google and found this: https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/ Maybe you've looked at it before? They have this leaflet, which is a bit more for people who've had ivf I think, but also mentions people who have been LTTTC. https://www.miscarriageassociation..../Pregnancy-loss-and-infertility-Jan-20111.pdf

(Hope you don't mind me linking to them. You may have seen them before.)

Maybe this time off to process it all will help you a bit? I think a more relaxed attitude to TTC this month will definitely help & give you space to focus on something else. I know how hard it is to ignore TTC when the whole world seems to be family focused & full of babies. It doesn't sound selfish not wanting to visit Jodi, I know that would make you sad. Hopefully she will understand, knowing what you've been through. You've got a good excuse with your work at the moment. Just go & see her when you feel ready. Maybe it won't be as bad as you think? 

I hope work made you feel a bit better yest. How did it go? Were you aching? My work was very quiet as my boss hadn't left anything for me to do. I cleared out one of my drawers, which was good, as I got to bin lots of things! I hate binning things at home, as I'm always worried it'll be something I need, but at work it's fun! I've got 3 more drawers to sort out & they are really full of stuff that has to be filed so will be a nightmare to do. I'm hoping that next week will be as quiet so I'll get a chance to do it then. I've given smoky woman the week off as there is nothing to do. It will be nice not to have to deal with her for a week!

I'm not sure what I'm doing today. I have some more paperwork to finish. I might see my brother again but I haven't rung him yet. I'm hoping it will be a fairly quiet day as I've got a full day tomorrow with the course followed immediately by a meal at my SILs. I feel bad that I'm always tired when I see my nephews & niece at the moment - they won't think I'm fun anymore. But I can't really help it & you have to put yourself first sometimes don't you? If I need to leave early, I just do.

Hope the second day of your course goes well & you have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello

Thanks for the links. Ive had a little look and they look really helpful. I will have a more detailed looked later. Thank u very much, thats really kind of u. 

Ive had a great day at work. I just love spending time with the children and do lots of dance and crafts. We are doing a 'schools out' performance so today we made mortarboards and they look class!! Its all coming together for the final show tomorrow. Its really helping me to feel happier 

Good that u are winding down at work and sorting out your draws etc. Great that u got rid of smokey woman for a week lol. 

I hope u enjoy the course tomorrow. It will be a long day for u. I hope u are not too tired so u can enjoy your meal at your SILs house. Yes u need to put yourself first and just go home if u need to rest. I know family should understand that and your niece and nephew wont think your boring, not when they see their baby cousin!! 

I hope u have had a nice day and got to see Steve again. Enjoy the course tomorrow!

Xxx

P.s i am aching and so are the children lol


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## MrsBroodyPant

I hope u have enjoyed your course today. I bet u were too busy and now too tired to write today .
I had a good day at work. The children did their final performance and it all went well. Im tired out lol and only have one day off before i start my summer school. What was i thinking putting them so close together lol.

I hope u have had a good day xxx


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## Pansy

Evening!

Sorry I did write yest. I overslept so didn't have time before going to course. (I'm so used to waking up at 7 that I don't set an alarm & then am surprised when I wake up at 8!!). We then went straight to SIL's from the course, so it was a tiring day. The course was good, we covered loads again. It's a shame it's over. The meal at SIL's was good - I managed to p,ay board games with my nephews & stayed til 9, so that was good.

Today T decided we needed to go shopping as soon as he got up, so was nagging me to get up as quickly as possible. We went to Bristol shopping - they have a new kiddiecare there. We got quite a few little bits. We then went to my mums for tea. My dad & Steve were out watching cricket. They are really into cricket & support Somerset. I can't see the appeal myself!

I'm glad you're course went well. I would have loved to have done it when I was younger. I did a tap summer school once. We were meant to be part of a dance festival, but it got cancelled, so we just put on a performance for the parents at the end. I hope you've had a restful day today & are less achey. Did you have to do any prep for the next course? How many kids do the course?

I'm completely knackered so I'm going to bed now. Hope you've had a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning. 

Im glad u enjoyed your Saturday and found the course useful. What things did u learn in the last class? Its good that u managed to stay at your SILs house for a while. What game did u play? I love boardgames but dont often get chance to play.

Yesterday we relaxed all morning and then we went out into the moors with Hollie and to a pub for lunch where Hollie can sit under our table! I love having her with us. She ate some of my potatoes lol. 
Last night the inlaws came round as they are back from their holiday. They took Nemo home. Im so glad he survived!! 

My summer school starts this morning. Ive got 13 children on this one. I only had 6 at the college but it was nice to work closely with a small group. The theme for this course is 'at the circus' so it should be fun! My niece is doing it so i am driving her each day. 

U havent got long left. Its crazy when i look at your ticker and see how far along u are. Is your bump pretty big now? Im glad u have bought some more bits and are getting all ready. Funny that T decided u needed to go shopping. I bet he is very excited to be a daddy.

I hope u have had a good nights sleep so csn be less tired today. 
Have a nice day xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

I did sleep well thank you, apart from a lot of nightmares, but I still feel tired. I think I'll have a quiet am before going swimming at lunchtime. 

I hope your course goes well today. The circus theme does sound fun, I bet they'll love it. I'm glad Nemo survived his holiday - phew! Tal is very good at sitting under the table in pubs too & then asking if we've left anything at the end! He had his 10th birthday in the week. My mum sang happy birthday to him & he wagged his tail lots!

I don't tend to look at the days on my ticker, as it scares me! The weeks seem to be going by so quickly, although on Sat we were saying we have ages left compared to everyone else on the course. My cousin's wife is due this Thursday! My bump is pretty big. I keep walking into things & not fitting through gaps I thought I could! My hands are swelling horribly when I go shopping. They were little sausages yesterday. T managed to get my bigger wedding ring off at lunch yest & they just kept on swelling. I'm not waddling yet, so presumably I have more growing to do!

We learnt about inductions, bathing babies, did some relaxation & practice contractions, learnt about recovery after labour & touched on post natal depression & Caesarian sections. The course has left me in a bit of a quandary about whether to have the baby in hospital or the midwife led unit where I have my check ups. Until now I've thought it would be the hospital, so I can have an epidural if I want one & won't be transferred in the middle of labour. But everyone else on the course is going on the midwife led unit. The hospital is over subscribed so prefers it if low risk pregnancies go to MW units & my MW is talking as if I should go there. They said at the breast feeding course that babies who've had epidurals can be sleepy & it effects BF, but on here people haven't found that. If I coukd manage without an epidural & it all went well, I'd want to go the MW unit, but as I can't guarantee that, I'm thinking hospital. My mum & all my family who have had babies say the hospital would be best, it's only the people who haven't had babies on the course who say MW unit. T, my mum & I had a big chat about it yest, and I think we've decided on hospital, but I haven't been round it yet. (Sorry if I went on a bit there, I'm sort of getting it clear in my own head, hope you don't mind)

T is learning to drive a fork lift truck this week! He has to take an exam at the end to get a licence. I think it's more exciting than he does! He should be on nights, but because of this he will be home at 4:30, which is great. It will be the 4th week in a row where we eat tea together - yey! 

Hope you have a good day at summer school! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Guess what? When i was little i wantes to be a fork lift truck driver lol. Im so jealous of T right now! It looks so much fun!!

Just got in from work. Had a good day but as drop my niece of at the inlaws on my way home i go in and cant get away. I always feel bad when i say i have to go. Im going to be like that all week lol.

Your course sounds good. U have covered lots of topics. I know that epidurals do make your baby sleepy, thats why my SIL couldnt breast feed as James was too sleepy and they wouldnt let her go home until he would feed so she tried bottles and he would have those. Jodi had an epidural too and although her baby was sleepy she has managed to breast feed. Personally id definately go to the hospital. Would be a nightmare to get moved during labour and u can go from low risk to high risk suddenly. Obviously consider it but im glad u are thinking hospital. 

Happy 10th birthday to Tal. Hollie will be 5 soon. 

I hope u have a nice tea with T and a relaxing evening.
Xxx


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## Pansy

How funny that you wanted to be a fork lift truck driver! I've read the handouts that T's been given & it all seems quite complicated. You have to make sure you balance the load properly & can't drive across a slope or you'll topple sideways! He says its quite hard to drive as the steering is in the back wheels. It's a lot more fun than normal work he says!

We're waiting for it to get dark so we can watch the meteor shower. It was my idea, but I want to go to bed now lol! 

I always find it so hard to leave my MIL's house too, I always feel rude. I stand to go & then take another 20 mins to actually leave! Does your niece call you Auntie Janine in class? I volunteered in my nephews class & he found it v odd not calling me auntie!

T says it won't be dark for an hour! I really hope he changes his mind about going out...!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Whats a meteor shower?

Yes my niece calls me Auntie Janine. All the children at dancing call me Miss Janine so it actually sounds quite similar when she says Auntie.

Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

A meteor shower is when you get lots of shooting stars at the same time, about 1 per minute last night apparently. We ended up watching it from the spare room & didn't see any, I don't think it was dark enough. We stayed up til 10:30, but the sky was still inky blue & not black. I'm v glad T gave up on going outside. There is another one in Nov, that'll be a lot colder if he wants to go out & watch that one!

Did I tell you about our garden swing seat breaking a while ago? We were sitting on it & the seat just split, so I fell through the seat & scraped my back. It was sore the next day but otherwise ok. It was only a cheap seat from asda, which we'd had for just over a year. I read reviews of it & saw the same thing had happened to other people, so I rang up customer services to complain. They told us to take it back to the store for testing & gave us our money back, which I thought was good as it was over a year. Anyway, yesterday I got a letter from asda telling me about all the tests they'd done & giving me a £25 gift voucher as a good will gesture! I can't believe they did that, I was happy just to get my key back! Very decent of them! It shows its worth complaining - T just wanted to bin it!

There were 2 people in my lane when I arrived at swimming, but they both left soon after I started! I must've perfected my "oi, get out" stare!! The ladies showers were broken so I had to walk through reception in my swimming costume to go to the gym showers. My towel doesn't fit round my bump, so it was v embarrassing!

Have you managed to resist doing opks?

I started to pack my hospital bag yesterday. T has been on at me to do it for weeks, as that's what he's read on mums net! I've made a pile, so when he gets me a bag down from the loft I'll be able to put it in. Loads of the stuff I will need over the next 8 weeks, so I don't know what I'm meant to do about that. I've bought a second deodorant, toothpaste & brush so I can pack them.

T was v naughty & took one of our smoke alarms down last night. He tested the upstairs one just before bed & must've used the last of its battery, so it started periodically beeping. He changed the battery but it still beeped, so he took it down & hid it somewhere so we couldn't hear it. He will sort it out today. I'm glad we didn't have a night like Phoebe did on friends when she couldn't stop hers! 

I'm hoping for a quiet day of drawer sorting at work today. At least it will be just me. Hope you have a good day. Do you make your own props for this one too? xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

I looked up meteor shower on the internet and read about it. I spent a bit of time looking out the window last night but i couldnt see anything. I only had my glasses on so couldnt see very well. My eye sight is terrible and my glasses are very old and are not strong enough. I wear contact lenses all day.

U didnt tell me about your swing. Very good of Asda to do that, brilliant! Im glad u rang up and didnt just bin it. Id love a garden swing. Does yours hang from a tree?

Your getting good at your VIP lane hogging when swimming!! Lol 

Today we are making clown hats and strong man weight bar thingy lol. Yesterday they did costume design and get to decorate a white t-shirt, they love getting to colour on their tops. Im setting off now to get my niece. 

Have a good day drawer sorting.

P.s well done getting your hospital bag started 

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

PPS. I havent done any opks. No temp taking and only R has instigated sex lol so i have been totally chilled and not thought of ttc very much 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

I'm shortsighted too, although dont need to wear my glasses all the time. I don't put them on as soon as I get up, I can walk round house without them, but once I've put them on to see something, they tend to stay on. I used to be able to get away with them just for driving, but my eyes have got worse recently. T has perfect eyesight, I hope baby inherits that from him & not mine! I wore contacts for my wedding, but I have v dry eyes, so don't find them that comfy. 

That reminds me, did you do leather themed presents for your anniversary? It's my parents 37th wedding anniversary today. What a long time!

Our swing seat is on its on frame. We only have mini trees, our garden isn't big enough for proper trees. It's really comfortable & nice to sit out in when it's not too hot.

Well done for staying chilled re TTC. 

Glad your course is still going well. It sounds like so much fun! Do they leave you with a big mess or are they good at tidying up?

My parents & Steve came over for tea last night. We were showing mum T's family tree. On our second date he told me he'd been looking into his tree & coukd trace it back to royalty & I thought, yeah right! But, in fact he can. Because of some rule where only male offspring can inherit Earldoms (if that's the right word), his uncle is in line to become an Earl through some distant relative. Trevor & all his family are in some book of peerage (Burkes Peerage??). So he just needs to trace his link back to this relative & then he can see the links back to Prime Ministers in the 1700s & eventually Edward 3rd & then all the kings before that. He's v proud of this & has been looking into it all again recently so he can see how baby is related to the Queen. T is 20th cousins with the Queen lol! It's v amusing. His family are all Somerset through & through, with strong accents, so the idea of one of them becoming an Earl is v funny. 

Steve has stayed the night. I have to wake him at 9 & send him home, so he can take my mum to visit this 92 year old lady, who was a friend of my Grandma's & who we've sort of adopted as she doesn't have any kids. She broke her hip a few weeks ago & is now home but needs help ordering food in. Steve has mums car, so he needs to get it back to her. We might be going shopping later with mum. 

Hope your clowning goes well today! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hiyaa!

Another day of clowning around done! Today we did tap and jazz and designed posters to advertise our show. We also rehearsed for the performance which is tomorrow at 3pm. The children are fun to be with and well behaved. They get excited so i have to tell them to be quieter but they are not naughty. I ask them to tidy up at the end and at that age they love it and enjoy being given a job of collecting things in lol. Its funny at lunch time as they cant open anything so im opening lots of packets of crisps and drinks etc 

Thats great that T is related to royalty! Your baby can be a prince or princess . R and i have got family trees that go back quite far but nothing as exciting. I know Kate Middleton has relatives who live in my village! 

R has quite good eye sight too so id hope our children get his eyes. Im so blind. I need my glasses on as soon as i wake up as i cant see a thing. My mum needs glasses but my dad had good sight. One of my brothers wears contacts like me but my oldest brothers eyes are perfect! 

I hope u have had a nice day. Did u go shopping?

Im at my mums house now and both my brothers are coming round for tea. Cant wait to see them! 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

Overslept again, I'm going to have to start using an alarm again!

How did your performance go? Hope it went well. Are you all done now? Back to being a lady of leisure for a few weeks?

Mum, Steve & I went shopping in Bath yest. It was really nice spending some time with them. Mum treated us to lunch at Sally Lunn's which is the oldest cafe in Bath, it's been there since 1400s. It's a tourist attraction so it felt like being on holiday! I'd never been before. It was nice. Mum also bought me some sheets for a cot bed, so that was really kind of her. Steve got some t shirts & she bought some tops, so we all did well. They then came back to mine for cake, which rounded it all off nicely!

About to eat tea, so I'll post this then write more later. xxx


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## Pansy

Did you enjoy seeing our brothers last night? When does your brother go to Croatia? Or has he been?

My boss was back from holiday today, which surprised me! I still managed to get my drawers done, so that was good. It so much less stressful when smokey woman isn't there. It will be so nice not to have to see her for months! Only 2 weeks left now! My boss had a new IQ test for adults, so we were looking at that. I couldn't get one of the test, but I was quite good at the spatial awareness ones. I'd love her to perform the full iq test on me. It might be embarrassing if she found out my weaknesses though! I think she's done lots of psychological analysis on me without me knowing anyway, it's probably hard for her not to. Quite worrying really!!

Hope you have a good evening! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello!

Sounds like u had a nice day shopping in Bath. Ive never been to Bath before but my brother has a friend who lives there so he goes to visit him. 
My brother Craig goes to Croatia on Sunday. He cant wait, he has missed his family so much. 

The summer school is over!! It all went well today and the performance was great! I was very proud of all the girls. Yes im off for another 2 weeks now. So when i go back to work u will be just starting your time off . 
Tomorrow im going to meet Jodi for a coffee. I feel stronger at the moment so should be ok seeing her and her baby. 

Im just about to cook tea now as R should be home from work at 8.30pm. We are having gammon egg and chips lol.

I hope u had a good day today xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

Good luck with meeting Jodi today. I hope it goes well & you don't find it too upsetting. 

Nice that Craig finally gets to go to Croatia - that's been ages! Hs family will be so pleased to see him!

If you are ever in the South West, you should definitely visit Bath. It's got pretty buildings & a Roman spa. They've opened a new spa using the same naturally heated water that heats the roman spa, so that's really nice. When T has a week off in Sept I'm considering going there for a spa day. I'll have to research what bits I'm actually allowed to do first though. We're also considering going away for a night in a hotel when he has time off, but we'll have to see how I am. I'm worried about the breakfast bit. What is the make of hotels you go to? I might see if they have one of them round here. 

Glad your performance went well. Nice you've got another 2 weeks off now.

T has his fork lift truck driving test today. He isn't too worried. I think he'll be sad to go back to normal work!

I'm doing some cleaning today and walking to doctors to get more anti sickness pills. I nearly managed 2 weeks without being sick, but failed this morning. Nevermind, it was probably my own fault as I took my pill at 6:15 but didn't eat breakfast for 2.5 hours as I overslept again. 

My cleaner sort of sacked herself a couple of weeks ago. I cancelled her when Lucy was coming down so she said she could do the Monday instead. She thn texted Sun eve to say she couldn't do Mon anymore. She sent me 2 texts with other times on Mon morning, but I couldn't fit her in as I was working etc. She then sent a snotty text saying she couldn't have people cancelling her, did I want her to come anymore!! So I very politely said no I didn't. I can't have her telling me I can't go out to work cos she's coming or not letting me cancel. What a silly woman, sending a text like that. I would have cancelled her when baby comes, but she could have had 8 more weeks of work! V daft! I'm sure we can cope without her.

I'd better go and get on with it. Hope you enjoy your meet up with Jodi and have something nice to do afterwards.
xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello.

I cant believe your cleaner text u that. How silly. Doesnt she know how to run a business and to put her clients needs first! Crazy lady lol.

Im all ready to go meet Jodi. Just having a bacon sandwich first . Im feeling ok about it and im going to go shopping afterwards. Ive got a 20% off voucher for M&S so might go buy R a new shirt or something. We are planning a night out tomorrow night, just the 2 of us, so he could wear it then. We just want to go out and have a little drink and have some fun together. 

The hotels we stay in are Macdonald Hotels. I know that HandPicked Hotels are nice too. There will probably be one near u. Im tempted to book another short break away when R is off in September. Bath sounds lovely so i might look there.

Sorry u were sick again. Such a shame after going so long. I hope the tablets help.

Have a nice day. 
I bet u do a better job than your cleaner 
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

How did your meeting with Jodi go? Hope you found it ok. Did you spend your M&S voucher? Going out, just the 2 of you, sounds really nice, v romantic. I hope you enjoy.

Thanks for the hotel recommendations, I will look into them both. I've never been to either type. After our wedding, before our honeymoon (we got married on a Sat & the flight was on Wed) T booked a night away in a Four Pillars hotel as a surprise, so that's sort of our equivalent of your MacDonald. Trouble is, there are only about 5 hotels, we've been to 3 of them & they are all quite close together, so doesn't seem any point going to the others!

Weather looks rubbish today, hope you're not planning anything outdoors. T wants to go to Waitrose for brunch this morning. A new Waitrose has just opened about 20 mins away. We've not had one near us before. I don't know what else we are planning. Steve is off to a 50s themed birthday party so we won't be seeing him. 50s is quite hard for a bloke - I'd love to wear 50s clothes. I love the big skirts.

I think I did do a better job than the cleaner lol! I only did the bathrooms (2) & toilet, but I was more thorough. I got so hot & exhausted doing it though! T is waiting for me to get to the nesting phase, but I think even if I feel an urge to nest, I will be too exhausted to actually do it! I didn't do cravings, so maybe I won't do nesting. Although maybe I crave summer fruits - if I see a nectarine or a grape, I can't concentrate on anything else until I've eaten it! It was the same with strawberries & cherries when they were in season. I've never eaten so much fruit! 

I'd better get up so T can get hs brunch. Hope you have a good day & enjoy you're date night!

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Morning! 

I woke up at 8am with another migraine :-( so i went back to sleep until now in the hope it would help. Its still hurting now so i will need to take some headache tablets. I was planning on cutting the grass but dont feel like it now and its going to rain after lunch.

Well done for your cleaning yesterday. I always get v.hot when cleaning or hoovering or ironing. I end up doing it in barefeet when i get hot coz it cools me down. 

Meeting Jodi went well. I felt fine and didnt feel upset afterwards. It was just the same conversations as normal and not too baby oriented. I had a look in M&S before i met Jodi but there was nothing i wanted so i gave her my voucher and she bought some baby clothes. 

I hope u enjoy brunch. We dont have any Waitrose near us but i wish we did. 

R and i are going out tonight. Im really looking forward to it. R got his hair cut yesterday and instead of travelling to his usual salon, he booked in a local one instead. He ended up with a parking fine!! It was the most expensive hair cut ever! He was really mad when he got home. He said thats what u get for trying to support your local businesses lol.

Im going to get some tablets and breakfast now. 
I hope Steve enjoys the 50s night!

Have a nice day xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

P.s i loved the money twist on BB and i was quite surprised at who left last night xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

How was your date? I hope your migraine went so you were able to go. What did you have to take for it, paracetamol or do you have something stronger?

Glad seeing Jodi went well. How annoying that R got a parking ticket! We got one when on holiday in Boscastle, T got v annoyed. I just quickly paid it so he'd forget about it.

It was so dark all day yest. We had the light on at 5pm! It's tipping it down now as well. T enjoyed his breakfast bap at Waitrose & I had a chocolate Torsade, which I hadn't heard of before. A bit like a twisted pain au chocolat. You get a free tea or coffee with the Waitrose loyalty card, so T had a caramel latte. He's just started drinking coffee. I find it v odd. When I met him he didn't drink hot drinks, like me. He's been drinking tea since we got engaged & now he's started on coffee. I've banned him from drinking coffee in the house at the mo as I can't stand the smell. I used to love the smell, even though I didn't like the taste. With the loyalty card you also get a free newspaper if you spend £5, so that was cool. I love a freebie lol!

We spent the afternoon sorting. I sorted a drawer in baby's room & T sorted the garage. Then we watched the athletics. T loves athletics & I've been enjoying it too, it's a shame it's over today. 

I don't know what we're doing today. My parents are out & we've visited T's mum, so won't be seeing family. I expect T will come up with some plan!! What are you up to?

Hope you have a good Sunday. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

My migraine went away yesterday. I didnt end up taking any tablets and after eating breakfast i went back to sleep. 
R and i enjoyed going out last night. We got all dressed up and went to a few pubs in our village. It is quite lively and a mixed age group. We had a few drinks and came home at 12.30am. It was good to be so close to home. I think we will go out again soon. 

As if u got a parking ticket before as well. R paid his straight away too as it was cheaper if u paid quickly.

Your brunch and drinks sound nice at Waitrose. Its good that u have a loyalty card and get good deals. I hope they open a branch near us.

Good that u did some sorting out yesterday. Are u feeling more organised? What other things do u need to buy? Have u got a baby bath? 

Today R has gone to work for a few hours. I have opened my studio as there is a little girls birthday party in today. I then went to tesco with my mum and we tried 'scan as you shop'. U are given a scanner and put your shopping into bags as u shop. It was fun!! 

We are going to have a nice dinner this afternoon. Mum does the meat, i do the veg and R makes the yorkshire puds.....yummy!

I think we will just chill out tonight and maybe watch a film. Im loving how relaxed ive been about ttc this month. I know i must of ovulated by now and dont think i will be pregnant but never mind. We go to the doctors on tuesday, so when we get referred back to the fertility specalist then i will be ready to focus on ttc again. 

I wonder what u have ended up doing today? I hope u are having a good Sunday xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

How are you today? What are you up to? I've had a thrilling morning of washing and ironing, but I'm going swimming in a bit, so that'll be good. I texted my cousins wife to see if she wanted company as she's 4 days overdue, but she's feeling as if she might be coming down with a cold, so wanted peace. I've heard that that can be a sign of impending labour, so maybe it'll be soon.

We tried that scan as you shop thing at tescos a while ago when they were trialling it. Our nephew was helping us with it & he scanned it all very carefully, apart from this expensive balsamic vinegar that T added at the last minute. We got checked & it was very embarassing as they saw that we'd forgotten that & it was the most expensive thing we'd bought, so they probably thought we were trying to nick it! We haven't tried using it again since!

Was your roast nice? Did you watch a film? We took inspiration from your date night & decided to go out for lunch, just the two of us. We couldn't get a table at a pub at that late notice, so we went to our favourite cafe, where we went on our anniversary. Afterwards, T randomly decided he wanted to go to Bath - I seem to spend my whole life there at the moment! He wanted to buy a pramsuit as the midwife told us we need one for bringing baby home. We didn't find a nice one, but we decided on the outfit we're going to buy as the first thing baby wears. I want it to be something we buy, rather than a gift from someone else. We chose some baby grows from M&S, nothing fancy, but we like them. We're going to buy one set in blue & one in pink near my due date, then take back the one we don't use. We have got a baby bath, T's mum bought us one. I don't think I'll ever feel ready or organised, but I'm getting there. I have my hospital bag down fom the loft now & a few things in it, so that's a start.

It's really good you've been all relaxed this month, it will help envigorate you for next month. I hope your drs appt goes well tomorrow. Is it just a case of getting referred or do you think you will have to convince them?

Better go & eat my lunch before swimming! Hope you're having a nice day. V sunny here, hope it is there too.

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello!

Today i went into town with my mum. We needed to go to a bank where i had a joint account with my nanna and we took her off the account. I didnt even know i had the account lol. Not much money in it lol. 

I havent done much else today, except walk Hollie. We are having a curry tonight and wine whilst we watch BB final . The celeb BB starts on Thursday! Cant wait!

Lol at u almost stealing vinegar! Oppps!

Sounds like u had a nice day out yesterday. Lovely that u have chosen a coming home outfit. Thats a good idea to buy both colours then take one back. 
We enjoyed our roast and used the leftover batter mix to make pancakes last night. We watched a film called Stolen, actually i didnt watch much of it lol.

Doctors in the morning. I dont expect we will need to convince them as the FS gave us their fax number to pass on to the doctor to make referral quicker. Im worried i will cry in the doctors :-( hopefully not. 

Tomorrow we are going for a big walk up a big hill near us. We usually park in the car park below but we are going to try to walk there from home. I bet we get too tired to walk back lol. Might need to take the tent.....only joking .

I hope u have had a good day and a nice stress-free VIP swim xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

I didnt realise there was a celeb big brother! Thats good! I was womdering what i was going to watch after tonight! 

Im a bit upset this evening (nothings wrong with baby or anything). I know this is such a silly little thing to be upset about, but I've just found out there's almost no chance my parents will be in the country when baby is born. They booked a holiday to Nepal before Christmas last year, before I even conceived. Mum joked that we would conceive a baby due when they were away. And low and behold we did! They thought they were going on the 18th & while I've been really worried about this and hated the idea of them not being here in baby's first few weeks, I've sort of thought there was a good chance of baby being born before they left at least. But this evening my mum told me they wrote the date down wrong & they are actually going on the 10th. My dates say baby is due on the 12th. There's v little chance of it being born before they go. This has really upset me. The idea of my mum not being on the end of the phone as I deal with early labour scares me. The idea that they won't see baby for 3 weeks really upsets me. It's only 8 days earlier, I guess this is just the first time I've actually accepted the reality of them going (they pay the full balance for it tomorrow). I've been crying since I found out. T says we don't need them & it doesn't matter, but it does to me, I need my mum. He says I can't anymore, as I'm the mum, I have to be strong. I guess it doesn't matter if they don't see the baby for 3 weeks does it? It's not like baby will remember. And I'll be ok in labour won't I? I'll have T. It just seems like a time when you need your mum. But I'm sure lots of people manage without. And it's only 3 weeks. It'll be fine wont it? I know this is such a silly thing to be upset about. I'm sure I'll be fine and I won't be upset tomorrow, but I feel really upset tonight. 

Don't feel you have to reply to this tonight. It helps just having someone to write to. I hope you enjoy big brother. I'm going to watch it tomorrow morning. 

Good luck for your drs appt and your walk! Hope you make it back ok!

xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

Sorry for going on last night. I don't quite feel better this morning, I've woken up crying, but I'm sure work will provide a distraction. I think I may be using up the worlds supply of tears, so you won't be able to cry at the doctors! Seriously, don't worry if you cry at doctors, they won't bat an eyelid, they'll have seen it all before. But I hope you don't find it that upsetting. 

My swimming went quite well. There were 2 fast lanes, rather than a medium & a fast, so I ended up feeling uncomfortable being in a fast lane. Luckily most of the time I was alone, so it was ok, but a man did join me at one point & came too close & stroked my calf, which I didn't like! Any closer & I would have been really uncomfortable! He apologised & moved lane, so it was ok.

I'm glad Dexter didn't win BB. His stuff with Charlie was really annoying me over the last couple of episodes. I don't think it was genuine at all. She annoyed me just as much though, stringing him along. It seems to actually mean something to Sam to win, so I'm glad he won. 

Hope you have a good walk & your dr appt goes well.
xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello, big hugs for u!

Im sorry u have been upset. I have only just read your message. I completely understand why u would feel upset but please dont worry. U will be fine during labour. All u need is T and the midwife. Going to the hospital is the best care u can get. I think the that their holiday starts earlier is a good thing. I bet u go over by almost two weeks and if u do then they will be home sooner than they would of been. I know u will want to see your mum as soon as baby is born and for her to meet him/her first. Maybe u can find a way to facetime or skpe after the birth so u have a special time with your mum before u get visitors. Will yours brothers be around? 
If u are late then baby might be born on 25th October and then your parents will be home a week later. I think the time u will want your mum is after the baby is here at home and u will get health visitors etc and then your mum will be home! Its a shame this gas happened as u will always remember it but i bet your mum feels bad? She will be worried and nervous on holiday and then when the baby is born she will want to come home asap. I think u will be fine. As long as u have T by your side the whole time u wont need anybody else. 
I hope u feel a bit better about it when u wake up this morning. Are they definately going or is your mum thinking of not paying the full balance? 
Big hugs hun. 
If u want, i can come and dress up as your mum  ha ha 
Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I hope u are ok?

Just got home from doctors. They cant give me clomid as only the hospital can but we are getting referred back so i guess i just need to wait fir a letter now. 

As if a man stoked your thigh in the pool lol does T know? It sounds so wrong ha ha. 

Im also glad that Sam won BB. He deserved it the most and is a nice guy. I wonder who the celebs will be on Thursday. Im going out on Thursday night for Rachels 2nd hen do so i will have to watch it on Friday.

Hope u are ok xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Thank you for your kind words. It all makes sense. I can't say anymore about it at the moment, as I'm still teary when I think about it so I'm trying to just ignore it. But reading what you wrote reloy helped me earlier.

Why's Rachel having 2 hen nights? I wonder who will be on CBB too, have you heard any rumours? Do you watch Bakeoff? I love that, I'm really looking forward to watching that in a minute. 

How did your walk go? Hope you're not still stuck up the hill!

Thanks again. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Awww hun i hope u feel happier soon. Does your mum know how upset u are?

I had another migraine last night :-(. Thats two very close together.

We went for our walk and it was great going from our house. It took an hour there and an hour back. We are both tired now and Hollie is too! R walks too fast for me so i have to keep telling him to slow down but he tells me to speed up lol. When we walk with friends, the men end up far ahead of us! It must be their long legs as i count myself as fitter than R . 

I think we might get a cheeky take away tonight. 

Rachel is having another hen do for people who couldnt go to Manchester but im going to both lol. 

I dont have a clue about who any BB celebs will be....probably people we have never heard of! Lol

Big hugs xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

P.s i dont watch bake off xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

I'm feeling a bit better today. I'm fine as long as I don't think about it. I haven't told my mum how upset I am, cos I don't want to be responsible for her not going. If they were to cancel it, it would have to be cos they wanted to. I don't want them resenting me for it. I think she has an idea I'm not happy, but doesn't know I'm this upset. 

It's a really crazy holiday anyway. My dad's health is not good, he currently struggles on dog walks to get over styles, yet they are meant to be trekking in the Himalayas & sleeping in tents in 7 weeks! It's madness. My one bit of hope is that they see its madness & cancel it medical reasons, but my dads not the type to do that. I'm really worried about something happening to them while they're gone. But I just have to try not o worry about it.

Oh no that you got another migraine. Does anything bring them on? You've had lots recently. Hope it's better now.

You should watch Bake off, it's great! I really enjoyed that last night. Afterwards we watched the programme about midwives. I've never watched anything like that & I don't know if it was wise to. We both had weird dreams about babies. I hid behind my cushion every time a c section was on. I'm trying to tell myself that they only film the dramatic births cos they're more "interesting" and that there were plenty of normal births at the same time. I'm def not watching it without T to tell me when I can look again!!

What will Rachel's 2nd hen night involve? Are you going out again? Any costumes?

I spent today with Steve. We went shopping - he likes lots of short bursts of shopping, he gets fed up after about 2 shops! Then we took Tal for a walk. It was really hot & sunny so we went to the woods which was nice. There's a good view of the countryside & the place where we had our Reception at the end of the walk, so that was nice.

Hope you've had a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

I hope your dad will be ok on the holiday. Was he is better health when they booked it? 

I think maybe looking at my computer or phone a lot might be starting the migraines but im not totally sure. Hope i dont get anymore.

Rachels hen do is just a meal and a few drinks in town. No dress code this time. 
Im going to see my brother Grant tomorrow and James. Think we might go for a dog walk. I hope the weather stays nice. 

Sounds like u had another nice day with Steve. He loves to go shopping! Did u buy anything? 

I hope u are having a nice relaxing evening! 

P.s not long til we find out who the BB celebs are!!!

Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

I hope u had a good day and are having a good evening.

I got up early and cut all the grass, finally lol. I then went to Grants house and we went for a nice walk. The weather is getting hotter again!

I havent gone out tonight as i got another migraine! Ive been in bed and just getting up now to have tea. At least i can watch celeb BB tonight now lol. 

Hope u are ok
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello! 

Oh no that you've got another migraine! Do you need to see the doctor if they're this frequent or is it normal? I don't know anyone else who gets migraines. 

Did you enjoy seeing James?

Good job you mentioned CBB, I'd totally forgotten about it. We've just been out for another free coffee at Waitrose! We bought some carrot cake and a milkshake for me too, so not so free! We've bought some nice filled pasta for tea on Sat (you don't like pasta do you?).

Work was quite good today. In the morning I almost thought I would miss it, then in the afternoon Mandy was in, fussing about nothing, and I remembered why I'm looking forward to finishing. My boss says I look blooming every time she comes in, I think it's her polite way of saying, gosh your huge!!

My mum called in on the way home from work. It was nice to see her. We didnt really talk about their holiday, although she did say they hadn't paid for it yet. Maybe my dad is reconsidering. He has had this illness for about 4 years, but on and off. He relapsed before Christmas I think and had to go back on steroids. He is now weaning off them, which makes him worse, but he's not meant to be on them for too long. He's not very good at admitting there is anything wrong with him - typical man!!

Hope you feel better soon & enjoy BB! xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Good morning!

How are u?
Did u watch CBB? I love that Screech is in there, legend!

My heads all better now. I dont know why i keep getting migraines but if they continue i will go to the doctors.

I loved seeing James yesterday. When their dog barks, James starts copying and barking too! Lol funny as.

Lovely that u went to Waitrose again. I hope u enjoy your pasta on Sat. Well remembered that i dont like pasta . I can eat it in sheets in lasagne but i dont like pasta in shapes lol. 

Today im going to meet a friend for coffee then go to my mums house. R left for work at 5am as he is spending the day with his area manager. He wasnt looking forward to it and i had to push him out of bed. Did T pass the fork lift truck course?

Another day down at work for u! Not long left.....how exciting!

I had a dream last night (i always dream loads) that i got my bfp. I was so happy and i even dreamt i came on here and wrote to u. I hope dreams do come true. 

As if your mum said they havent paid the holiday balance yet. I wonder if they will.....FX they dont go. Although i want them to have a nice time but i know it would make u happy if they stayed home .

What are u doing today? 
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

I was most excited by Screech being there too, I loved Saved by the Bell. I didn't realise he was 3 years younger than the rest of them, it makes sense now, with his squeaky voice etc. 

Glad your heads better, hope it stays that way now. I hope R's day isn't as bad as he's expecting. He'll be knackered when he gets home! 

Your dream sounds lovely, I hope you weren't too disappointed when you woke up. Lets hope it does come true.

That's so funny that James barks like the dog! How cute!

Hope you enjoy meeting up with your friend. I've popped out this morning to collect some natal hypnotherapy CDs from a lady from the NCT course. She bought them & is going to sell them on eBay, but is lending them to anyone in the group who wants them beforehand. V kind of her. I was about to buy them, but they're £40, so I'm really pleased I can borrow them instead. I'm meeting up with the ladies from the course on Monday, so that'll be good.

We had the biggest spider in the world in our bedroom last night! I was reading in bed & suddenly it ran towards my face. I'm not scared of spiders but I screamed just to see something running at my face. T is scared of them, so he jumped out of bed too & fetched me a glass to catch it. It was under my pillow & ran along the bed before I coud catch it. It was huge, I've never seen one so big. T took photos of it when it was safely in the glass to prove how big it was, then I chucked it out of the window. T says we're never opening the bedroom windows again!

I'm not sure what to do with the rest of my day now. I expect there's some washing to do, I'll have to go & investigate. T will be home in 3 hours, so not long to wait.

Hope you enjoy your time with your mum. 

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

I hate spiders! Thats so horrible that it was actually running on your bed. U are very brave to catch it. R catches them for me and puts them out the window. 

Ive got a letter today from the hospital about my referral. It says we need tests done before our appointment e.g blood tests and SA. I know its just a standard letter coz thats what we had to do last time. Its a total joke if we are back to square one and need all those doing again. We have had far more tests than that and have learnt all we can from them. Do u think i should ring them up? Stupid to start from stratch. I actually cried when i read the letter. I cant be bothered to start from the beginning again. Feels like the last few years have been a waste 
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Oh dear, surely that must be a mistake? I would definitely ring them, explain that you've had the tests & that you just need to see te specialist. It's not in their interest to waste time & money on tests again. Maybe your Dr just ticked the wrong box when filling out the referral? It's less than a year since you were last being investigated isn't it, so surely you should still be under their care. I'd definitely ring & see what they say. I hope it all sorts itself out for you. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Thank you xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Did you ring them? What did they say? I hope you're feeling better about it either way. What did R say?

What are you doing today? I hope R is there to distract you. I'm going over to see my mum & Steve as T is working till at least 2, probably later, he doesn't know yet. I spoke to me best friend yesterday (1st time I've spoken to her all summer holidays at least) & she said I'd invited her down to visit tomorrow!! I had completely forgotten! Oops! Luckily we didnt have any plans, so it's fine. Just a bit of a surprise! Luckily the house is pretty tidy, so we don't have to rush round tidying or anything!

My mum came round again last night while my dad saw a client nearby. We were going to visit T's mum, but when he rang to check if someone was giving her a shower, she said she was poorly with a urine infection. She has been ill since Sunday, on antibiotics since Wed. She said she feels the worse she has ever felt & considering how much pain she is in everyday normally, that must be really bad. She can only drink water & can't eat at all. She's got a fever & keeps feeling hot & cold. We wish she'd let us know, but she said we couldn't have done anything. We visit her every week, but she never rings us in between, so we don't ring her. (We were in our house for 6 months before she even rang our new number once) T thinks she probably told his sister not to let us know. I really hope the antibiotics start to work soon. You'd think they might have started to make her feel a bit better already, as she's been taking them since Wed, so maybe she needs stronger ones. 

Hope you have a nice day planned. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning,

Sorry to hear that Ts mum is so unwell. Yes usually antibiotics do start working very quickly. I hope she is ok and improves soon. I guess she didnt want to worry u and T and sometimes u think that u will feel better tomorrow anyway so dont make a fuss. I hope she is ok. 

I feel a bit better today. I havent rang the hospital yet, i think R will ring them as i might get upset on the phone if they starr saying we need to start from stratch again. R is working all weekend as bank holidays are a very busy time in retail. 

Today im meeting another friend for coffee and then tonight we are going to our friends for a BBQ. Im kind of not looking forward to it as everyone else has children now but im sure it will be easier than i expect. 

Nice that your best friend is coming tomorrow. What a suprise! At least u spoke on the phone and she didnt just turn up! I hope u have a lovely day together. What will u do? Does she have a partner? 

How many wheelie bins gave u got?? Lol. We are getting a new one for recycling so we will have 3 in total. Its crazy! We are ok because we have a large enough area to store them but some people dont. Anyway, everyone got their new bin delivered but us! R had to ring the council and tell them, so they are sending us one lol. Trust us to get missed out.

I hope u have a nice day xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

How was your BBQ? I hope it was better than you expected. Did you actually get to be outside? It was dark & windy all day here, only 16 deg, I actually wore a cardigan for the first time for months! 

Does R get any extra days off in the week to make up for working all weekend? Do you mind him working Bank Hols? I used to hate that T never gets Bank Hols off, but I'm used to it now. I'm still not keen on him working Good Fri & Easter Mon though, cos everyone seems to look forward to an Easter weekend & ours is no bigger than usual.

You've changed your emotions thing to doubtful, why's that? Is it cos of the letter? It's a good idea to get R to ring, hopefully he'll be able to sort it out for you.

My mum managed to fall up some steps yesterday when we were out shopping! She's ok I think, but it was v scary at the time. She landed heavily on her knee & went all pale. A nurse came over to see if she was alright and the shop we were about to go into got her a chair & a drink of water. It was bruising quite quickly, but she was able to walk about on it after a rest. She had an op on that knee a few years ago, to remove some cartilage, but I didn't think she damaged it this time (fingers crossed). Apart from that, we hada good time shopping & took Tal for a walk by a stream where he coukd have a swim. T joined us at their home when he'd finished work & we had takeaway pizza for tea - 1st time I've had that for years! 

I think we'll just take Natalie out for lunch today & then play it by ear. I don't know how long she's visiting for. Her husband isn't coming with her, I don't think. (We're kind of hoping he isn't, as we don't get on with him that well! He puts a negative slant on everything) We haven't done any preparation for her visit, so will have to do a bit of putting away this morning before she gets here. I've just noticed dust around the tv, so I'll have to get rid of that!

What are you doing today? Seeing your mum? Hope you have a lovely day. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Morning,

Sorry to hear that your mum fell over :-( that must of been scary. Im glad people came to help look after her. I hope her knee is ok. Your poor mum. 
How us Ts mum?

We went to the BBQ which we had inside. It was nice to see everyone and i was ok but the convo was about babies nappies and peppa pig. R was tired from work and didnt like all the baby talk. Lately R has been upset about our baby. I think because i cry about it but he doesnt and tries to forget it, so he hasnt dealt with it. I think its hitting him more now than it did before.

R will get two days off in the week which will be nice. I dont mind him working bank holidays as i usually do too and he gets paid extra. He manages a little time off near Easter but always works Xmas eve and Boxing day as that is their peak business time. 

I hope u have a nice day with Natalie. How come u dont get on with her husband? What happened?

Im going to my mums today then the inlaws are coming round tonight. 

Have fun xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

My mum said her knee was v bruised, but only hurt when touched, so that was a relief. The antibiotics still aren't working for T's mum. She really needs to get the dr out again, but she doesn't like drs so it's always a fight to get her to have them. I hope someone will make her see one tomorrow. She should see one today, but with it being Bank Hol it will only be locum drs. I don't know if we can make her see one or if it will have to be T's sister.

I'm really sorry to hear R's finding it hard at the moment too. There's no time limit on these things & I guess it can hit him at any time. At least you have each other to help each other through this. Does he talk to you about it? 

Working Christmas Eve & Boxing Day must be hard. T always works Xmas eve, but doesn't have to work Boxing Day. He usually has to work the weekend before Christmas & the weekend between Christmas & new year, so he ends up working more than he normally does, which the rest of my family don't really get. His mums bday is the 27th & it's always hard for him to fit in seeing her then. He doesn't get extra days off to compensate for Bank Hols.

It was nice to see Natalie. We went for lunch then walked round Wells (a smaller town you should see if you're ever in the area. England's smallest city, in fact). Her husbands didnt come. Nothing happened with him, we've just never got on. When they first got together, N & I were v close & I think he was jealous of that. He's quite insecure & negative & I think he thinks i don't like him, which wasn't true to start with. I think we just have a total personality clash. Hes 40, i dont know if that has anything to do with it. Whenever he's in the room, you can't have a conversation with N cos she constantly stops to listen to what he's saying to other people. I prefer how she is without him about. It's a shame we don't get on, there v few people I actually have such a personality clash with. 

What are you doing today? Has your head been ok? I'm off to meet up with the NCT mums. When does your term start again? Next week? Will you be looking after James on the same days again? 

We forgot it was Bank Hol & put our bins out last night! We always do that, the rest of the road must think we're such muppets! You seem to have a ridiculous number of bins! We have one wheelie bin & then 2 plastic boxes for recycling & a small bin for food waste. T has taken over the bins as the smell is too much for me & he doesn't bother to sort the food waste, but we always sort the recycling. What were your original 2 bins for? How often are they collected? Our recycling goes every week & then the big wheelie bin goes once a fortnight. 

Hope you enjoy the Bank Hol. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning!!

Happy bank holiday 

Im glad u had a nice time with Natalie. Its a shame she changes when her husband is around, i can see why that would bother u. Its good that she came alone 

Last night the inlaws came round and brought us their old kitchen table and 4 chairs. They got new ones and their old ones are still in good condition and very solid. We are going to paint them and update them a bit but the table is perfect size for our kitchen. We have a breakfast bar with 2 stools but i wanted a proper table that children can do crafts/painting/baking etc on and im not worried about it getting spoilt. We have a corner sofa in our kitchen too so wasnt sure if there was room for a table but there is and still feels spacious. 

Today im going wallpaper shopping with my mum to help her choose for her living room and hallway, very exciting lol. I dont have any other plans.

R seems a bit happier. He doesnt like to talk about the baby and if he is feeling down i can just tell. He is not very good at talking about his feelings.

Yes we got a load of wheelie bins lol still havent got our new one yet though!! One is for general waste and the other is garden waste. They are collected each week but alternately. The new bin replaces our recycling box which will be for paper, plastic etc...the new one is bright blue! Looks stupid! The blue one will go out with the green waste. Its quite complicated lol. 
At our old house we only had one bin and that got collected each week and we paid far less council tax than we do here. 

I hope u have a nice day today and your mums knee gets better quickly. I hope Ts mum gets the doctor round tomorrow. 

U only have 40 days to go 
Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

How are you today? I've done my last Tuesday at work! Yikes! Seems very odd!

Your kitchen must be huge to fit a sofa & a table! We have a living/dining room. We have room for a 3 piece sofa & a 6 seater table. Our kitchen is square and has space in the middle, but nowhere you could put a table. 

Did your mum chose her wallpaper? Are you & R putting it up for her?

T's mum should have had the doctors out today but we haven't heard how she got on. She was still really poorly when T visited yesterday. She still has a temperature & isn't eating. She has pains in her back now so thinks its a kidney infection. She hasnt been watching any tv, shes too poorly to concentrate, so i dont know how shes passing the time. I really hope she did get the doctor out.

Did R ring the FS today? How long is till his appt now? That was Sep wasn't it?

We had a lot of unwelcome visitors at our meet up yesterday - wasps! 100s of them, horrible things! I had one on my elbow at one point, not nice. It's lucky no one got stung. The farm shop we went to was v nice - the scone I had was delicious & still warm (how do you pronounce scone? To rhyme with on or own? I'm the on version.)

Hope you have a good evening. Have I managed to convince you to try Bake Off? It's on bbc2 tonight at 8 if I have!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Good evening.

Ive spent the whole day with my brother Grant and James. His wife was getting a train to meet her friends for the day so i spent the day at their house. Grants gone to pick Helen up from the train station whilst i bathed James. He has had his bottle and is now a sleep in bed. 

Oh and AF came today :-( nevermind. First time in my life that i have had a 28 day cycle! Thank u clomid!
Ive now only got one chance left on clomid. I will ask R to ring the FS tomorrow. His appointment is on 23rd Sept, so still a while to wait.

Our kitchen is quite big as it has been extended but like the front room, both rooms are long but not very wide. We have a 3 seater and a 2 seater brown leather sofas in the front room and a 6 seater dining table. Hollie has her own bedroom downstairs but that is like a little utility room which is also an extension. 

Im glad u enjoyed the meet up yesterday. Shame about the wasps! I pronounce scone the on way as well. 

Got to wrap it up as my brother is back now.

I will write tomorrow xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Im back! 

Just got home. Ive missed bake off....opps! I will find it and record it for next week.

My mum chose wallpaper but hasnt bought it yet. She is quite good at papering so i will help her do it.

I hope Ts mum sees the doctor soon.

Congrats on your last Tues at work over and out! How exciting!!!!

Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

How lovely that you got to spend the whole day with James! What did you & Grant do with him?

Shame that AF came. I was hoping the migraines were a sign of something going on. Will you have another chilled cycle this month?

T's mum texted at 9 last night to say dr had given her another week of the same antibiotics & had taken a uine sample for testing. A nurse will come in today or tomorrow to take some blood for testing. She said its a waiting game & she's fed up. She doesnt normally complain about all the pain she has to put up with, so must be really rubbish. I hope something can be done for her soon.

We're going to do a hospital tour of the labour wing today. I'm glad I booked as soon as I got to 30 weeks, as one of the ladies from NCT tried to book yest & they could only offer her one 2 weeks after she's due! I'm a little scared of the tour - I hope I don't hear women screaming! Someone on here said its not screaming from fear or pain, it's just a primal thing. I must remember that. I've had so many questions over the weeks, I hope I can remember them all today as this is my one chance to get answers. I've got a list.

T has taken a 1/2 day so he an go on the tour. I think we're going shopping after. I'm a bit shopped out, I don't know what needs to be bought & have been to Bath too many times recently! Maybe we'll go somewhere else as well.

I'd better go & get ready. T won't be impressed if he does home, having done 1/2 a day at work, & I'm not even dressed! Do you have to do any planning for the new term or do you just follow the same plans each year? What are you up to today?

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning!

Yesterday we went for a walk with James and got ourselves some sweets from this old fashioned sweet shop in the village. We just stayed in and played for the rest of the day.

R is off work today so we can spend some time together but we havent planned what we are going to do. 

I hope u enjoy your hospital tour and dont hear anyone scream. Hopefully u will get answers to all your questions. As if that lady couldnt get a tour until after her due date lol.

I think im going to do a natural cycle without clomid. It will be interesting to see how long my cycle is and if clomid has changed it or kick started my system a bit. Ive only got one round of clomid left and feel safer knowing ive still got that chance rather than using it up now. Also im worried that my body is getting too used to clomid and maybe after a break it will become more powerful again iukwim. So i will track this cycle and see what happens.

Im glad Ts mum has seen the doc and is getting tested etc..
How is your mums knee?

Enjoy your afternoon shopping! 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

Did you enjoy your day with R yest? What did you get up to?

The hospital tour was quite scary. In my head I had convinced myself it would be like the birthing centre & not be all clinical, but it is very clinical! The delivery room felt & smelled like a dentists, which does not relax me! It was quite small & dated & felt quite scary. The ward was ok as wards go, nicer than the ward I was on when I went in before. We're going to go & do a tour of the birthing centre & see what that's like. Even the midwife at Bath assumed I'd be having it at the birthing centre & only go there if I had to. I don't know what to do again, I'm in a complete quandary. I'll wait till I have the other tour & see then I guess. T seems v keen on the birthing centre, cos he knows the hospital atmosphere would panic me, but then he doesn't have to go through it without an epidural!!

We wondered round Bath & had lunch out after, so that was nice. They have an area in the shopping street where there's a green carpet & deck chairs, so we sat in that for about an hour people watching! It was nice not to be rushing for a change. Poor T was exhausted yest & kept falling asleep in the evening, I hope he's not coming down with something.

I think mum's knee is ok thankfully. The bruise seems to be going down.

My last day at work today! So strange! I can't believe it's actually here! My boss is taking me out for lunch. I hope she doesn't expect me to do too much today, it will be very un satisfying to leave work half done when I leave. I need to leave on time as the yoga pregnacy class I did in June has started up again & I want to go to that this evening.

I wonder how your cycle will be without clomid. It sounds a good idea to try without it & see what happens. You can give your body a break from chemicals.

Is R off again today? Hope you have a good day. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello!

Happy last day at work!!!! I cant believe how quickly it has come. Now u can really get prepared for the baby without having to go or even think about work. Whoop whoop!!!

Your Wednesday sounds nice. We did some people watching too! We went to Whitby which is a fishing village. Have u heard of Whitby fish? We can go far away down south and still see Whitby fish on the menu. We got fish & chips and then sat outside a little pub with wine. Hollie had a run on the beach and we walked along the pier. The boards on the pier have gaps in between and Hollies paws kept falling down the gaps. We then sat on a bench and Hollie suddenly did a massive wee so we had to get up lol. 
We drove home along the coast which was lovely and stops for an ice-cream. We had a nice day. 

R is working today and im going to see Grant & James again . 

Its a shame u didnt find the hospital very inviting. Im sure the birthing centre will look much nicer but id still prefer the hospital. Our hospital is quite modern though. I think once your in labour u wont care how clinical it seems. Id prefer to be in the place where the most care is. I hope u can decide which is best for u soon, not much time left 

I know it will be interesting to see how my cycle is without the chemicals. 

Enjoy lunch with your boss and your last day!

Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

Your day out sounds lovely, especially the fish and chips! I don't remember seeing Whitby fish on any menus. I think I might have been to Whitby when I was on holiday in Yorkshire, is it near there? I'll have to ask my parents if we went there. Maybe I've just heard of it. You're so lucky to live so near the sea. Poor Hollie having her paws fall through the gaps!

Hope you had fun with Grant & James yesterday?

I can't believe I'm on maternity leave! It's so surreal! I had a really nice lunch out with my boss yesterday. One colleague came in specially to bring me a card & a candle (camomile tea - I can't stand the smell, as I don't like anything at the moment, but I'm going to regift it to my aunt for Christmas - she will love it. Cheeky?). My boss gave me a card too & a cheque for £20 so I'm going to buy myself something nice with that. Smokey womn didn't give me anything - maybe she has guessed how I feel about her! I don't think so, I think she's just too self involved to think about giving anyone a card. She said if I was bored I should go & visit her. I'm not taking my baby into her smokey house! But it was a nice gesture. My boss wants to come & visit when I've had the baby, that would be scary! I'd have to make sure the house wasn't in a state!

It was really weird leaving work yesterday. I've been there 8.5 years! I had to stay an hour later than usual to get everything done, as of course my boss came up with extra tasks for me to do! Everyone on the NCT course said they had to stay late on their last day, so I was kind of expecting it. Unfortunately it meant I couldn't go to pregnancy yoga. I hope it is on again next week, but then the teacher has messed me about so much I don't feel too bad.

T was either feeling ill or tired yesterday. Before I got home, he put himself to bed. My brother & mum came over unannounced & walked straight into the house when he was in bed in his PJs! He thought maybe it was me, as it was when I was due home, so he just stayed upstairs. When he worked it out, he got dressed & came downstairs, so luckily they didnt find him in bed. He told me he was fine & that we should go & do the birthing centre tour & cos I hadn't been home long I believed him. When we'd finished I asked him how he was & he said terrible! He went straight to bed with a temperature when we got home. He's gone to work today & claims he feels better, but who knows? He doesn't get man flu, he claims he never gets ill. The whole time I've known him he has just taken one day off work with a bad back & 4 days compassionate leave when his dad died. He must have the best sick leave record at his work!

The birthing centre was so much nicer than the hospital. It's modern, bright, calm, no scary equipment, nearer to home, more relaxed. Each room is larger & has a comfy chair, birthing ball & mats (which Bath didnt). I've still got no idea where to go. It doesn't have the drugs or the facilities if anything goes wrong. And there's the whole ambulance transfer which is scary. T is strongly for the birthing centre, everyone else thinks hospital. I'm sure I'll make up my mind at some point!! 

What are you doing today? I have no idea what to do with my first day of maternity leave! (Even though I wouldn't normally work on a Fri!) My knitted blanket is v nearly finished, I might finish that. And it's collecting antisickness pills from the doctors day, excitement lol!! I hope you have more exciting plans!

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Happy maternity leave!! 

I cant believe its your first day off and u are wondering what u can do already lol. If i lived closer i could of come to visit lol. I think u should relax, put your feet up and finish your blanket.

What else do u need to do for baby? Have u got his/her name sorted? Is his/her room organised? Id love to see a pic of your babys bedroom.

As if T has changed his mind and now wants the birthing centre. I wonder which u do finally choose. I hope he is ok and not ill. R is the same, he never has time off work.

Lovely that you got gifts and cards from work. I dont think its cheeky if u regift your candle, i do that too sometimes  lol. 

Yes Whitby is in North Yorkshire which is where i live. I live in Guisborough. What is your Village called? 

Today im going to my mums house. Think i will cut her grass and do a bit of gardening. I will also take my laptop as i have a lot of jobs to do before work starts back. I do follow the same format each year but this term we will work towards our xmas show so i need 21 new dances! Im trying to decide on songs/music for each class. Its really hard as i need to be passionate about the piece im doing otherwise it would turn out rubbish. I need the music to inspire me and get my creative side going lol then i feel excited for the dance and it works well.....usually lol. 

I hope u enjoy the first day of your maternity leave. 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Now that you mention it, I can't believe I didn't know what to do with the first day of maternity leave either! Oops! I should've had a plan! I've got plenty to do, I just need to actually do some of it! I ended up washing baby's clothes so I could pack them in baby's hospital bag. I thought that would take about a week of my leave, but I've done all the clothes under 3 months already! I managed to lose a babygrow in the wash!! I kept all the tiny mittens & booties, but lost a whole babygrow! I don't understand where it can have gone! Maybe it fell out on the way to the wash somewhere, I will have to search the whole house!

I finished my blanket! I can't believe it has taken 3 months! I'm very pleased with it though, I hope baby likes it. Here it is:

https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/8293aa7489be14280d5d44d986a019da.jpg

I need a new knitting project now. I want to sew a toy for baby, so I might do that first, but knitting is good cos I can do it in front of the tv.

Baby's room is still 1/2 my sewing room. Cos baby won't go in there till he's 6 months, we haven't felt that much urgency. We're not putting any stickers up or anything till we know the gender, as we want a different theme for each. We still don't have a cot, but the shop claim we will get it next week. Here is baby's wardrobe, with our nappy pile in the background (we've bought a selection of sizes cos they were cheap on amazon, plus got some free from Sainsburys):

https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/54e6ee68856e0e3f14b71b3ac0825f88.jpg

This is baby's changing table, which used to be our telephone table! 

https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/0365a4bd1789baabd8b79f8dd3676074.jpg

This is baby's car seat & bouncer, with a Steiff teddy that T's mum bought baby - it has 2013 on his foot.

https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/55a7beb353de8a0abed06e3b0676ad8d.jpg

And this is a baby panda, just cos it was in my camera roll & I thought it was cute! 

https://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/gecko_192/cd8cb0302ac304e1fa80bac15115aaaf.jpg

The other side of the room has my sewing table & we have a tall chest of drawers that match the wardrobe & changing table that are full of my sewing stuff! One of the drawers in the changing table is still full of post, from when it was a post drawer, but the others have baby stuff in them. We have a bookcase in there too that doesn't match, but I think it will be useful. T thinks it should go in the garage. We will see... Our cot is the same colour as the furniture. If money was no object, I would've preferred white furniture, but we had to use what we had. I'm sure baby won't mind!

What are you up to today? We're visiting my cousin's baby, who was born on Sunday. She's called Esther - quite unusual isn't it? Her sister is Isla (3). Isla will be at her grandparents today, my aunt & uncle, so we're going to visit them too afterwards. My cousin is out doing videographer work today, so it will just be his wife & Esther. I'm looking forward to hearing her birth story, although I hope it's not too gruesome! T has been at work this AM so we're going at 3. He was better yesterday, I think it might've been something he ate, as he did eat a 5 day out of date pudding on Mon - muppet! His mum said yesterday she felt a tiny bit better, so I hope that's the start of things improving for her.

Hope your work didn't give you a migraine yesterday? Did you chose any songs? 

Hope you have a good Saturday! xxx


----------



## Pansy

Ps you can see the bookshelf to the left of the wardrobe. It kind of goes doesn't it?


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Thanks for posting all those pictures, i really enjoyed looking at them and seeing all your stuff. I think your furniture looks very nice. No way would i of thought u were 'making do', it all looks lovely to me. My brother has white furniture for James but i think yours looks nicer as its warmer colours. Your old telephone table to great for a changing table! I like all your things, it looks very organised. Your blanket is beautiful, i love it!! Good work Catherine. The baby panda is cute too lol. 

I didnt get a migraine!! Yipee! I got a couple of songs chosen.Im doing Mary Poppins to open the show . 

Today im staying home and doing lots of housework then tonight R and i are going out for a meal. We have a £30 voucher to spend as i did that tesco club card points boost thingy. 

Tomorrow R is going away for one night to Glasgow with work. Im not too keen as his team is him, one man and six women! Im not a very jealous person but i still dont like the thought of him going to a hotel with these women i dont even know. Im planning on sleeping at my mums house Sunday night i think. I dont like being alone all night. 

As if T ate an out of date pudding lol what are men like . Im glad he seems better now.

Have a lovely day visiting family. Both those names are quite unusual. I have some funny names at dancing, the latest being 'Heavenly' but she is more like a little devil lol. I have also had a few girls called 'Honey'. 

Have a lovely day xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

How are you? Did you get lots if housework done? Did you enjoy your meal out? Where did you go? Tesco club card deals are so good for eating out, we do that too. We also use them to pay for entry to places when we can & to go on Eurostar. I love getting things for free lol!

Which song from Mary Poppins are you doing? Or is it a medley? Have you seen the stage show? It opened in Bristol before it went to London & I saw it there. It was great. 

It's a shame R is going away. I'm so glad T doesn't have to do that. I'm sure he won't even look at the other women, but I wouldn't like that either. I had never worried about T before, but in the middle of this pregnancy I suddenly got worried about T cheating in me or leaving me. I think it was a hormonal thing. I wasn't really serious about it, but I did want to check his phone! I didn't tho! It's good you can go & stay at your mums, I wouldn't like the whole night alone either. 

Lol at Heavenly being a little devil! My boss told me the other day that her sister got pregnant with another man when she was married & went off with that new man, so called the child Tempest after the stormy pregnancy! Bit harsh isnt it? Fancy your name always being associated with your mums affair!

Esther slept most of the time we were there yesterday, she was v good. I couldn't believe how tiny she was! My brothers and I were all over 9lbs, so I'm expecting my baby to be that big too, whereas she was 7lbs 11 at birth, although she's already more than that. Isla was being a goid big sister, mainly just ignoring Esther. She was pleased to see us even though she was playing with her cousins (15&12 year old boys, my other cousins children). Anne gave us a deluxe Mamas & Papas baby carrier that has hardy been used. Her friend gave it to her. It was really kind of her to pass it on. She already has one from Isla, although not as nice as this one. 

T enjoyed taking lots of pics with hs new camera. He's on the computer now, sorting them out. 

What time is R going? How far is it to Glasgow from you? Forgot to say yest, my village is calld Colford. I don't know what we're doing today, hopefully visiting my family at some point. My mum has high blood pressure & has been given a machine to monitor it for a week at home. I want to go & use it to see if my BP is any different relaxed at home than when at midwife appts. I always tense when she takes it & have to consciously think "relax"! T wants to see what his is too - no doubt he'll turn it into a competition with my brother lol!

Hope you have a good Sunday. Enjoy your stay at your mums & don't miss R too much. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

I keep meaning to ask, did your parents pay the balance for their holiday? 
I hope your mum is ok with her high blood pressure. Interesting to see if yours is lower when at home as it does make u more tense at the doctors.

I did lots of housework yesterday! And cut the grass AGAIN lol.
We had a lovely meal in a resturant which is very close to us. It was nice but we were sooo full afterwards. We both felt sick when we got home lol. 

Im glad u understand about R going away. Since loosing the baby i feel like i have lost some confidence. Im more insurcure now. I know R wouldnt of looked at another woman before but now im feeling down about myself i have a horrible feeling like he might cheat on me. Ive wanted to check his phone but havent! He is such a trustworthy person and it would of never crossed my mind before. But i know these other women from work must find him attractive and he spends a lot of time at work with them. I know im being stupid as they know he is married, wears his ring and they know he just lost a baby but some women are out for what they can get. 
R has already gone to work and they are getting the train together after work. Im not sure how far away Glasgow is but R has put on some scottish socks lol. I helped him pack this morning. He wont be home til late tomorrow night. 

Im going to my mums and will do more show prep. Im doing a medley from mary poppins, not quite decided which songs yet. Im doing a ballet to 'its Christmas all over the world' which is off Santa Clause the Movie. My claim to fame, as my great uncle (my nannas brother) was an elf in that film!! I love that Christmas film, i watch it every year. 
What films do u like? Apart from the exciting ones that T and R watch lol snooze fest!

Its nice that your cousin gave u a baby carrier. How much did T weigh at birth? I was 7lbs 3 and R was about 10lbs! 

As if its September already! You are 35 weeks! Hopefully i will get sorted soon and pregnant again. 

Have a lovely family day. Hope all your blood pressures are OK  xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Ive decided to come out of hiding and am back on facebook . Come find me! Janine Hunter

Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

How do I find you? There are lots of Janine Hunters & none of the ones that I think could possibly be you live where you live! I've never been good at finding people on Facebook! 

Did you have a good night at your mums? Do you sleep I'm the bed from your childhood there. I've only stayed at my parents house twice since I moved out. Once was on the night before my wedding, when I was in my old room, although in a different bed. We also stayed on New Year's Eve once, but then we stayed in my brothers room as there was room for 2 beds. 

I'm sure you have nothing to worry about with R. He wouldn't be more likely to cheat, just because you feel less confident. It's just a weird thing women feel sometimes. It takes 2 to do anything & just cos some women don't have morals doesnt change him. Funny we're both wanting to check phones! 

I haven't asked if my parents have paid for hol, but I think they have. Mum said they were going to last Tues. I got upset about it again yest. I think it was seeing baby Esther & knowing my mum won't see my baby at that age. Also, they were all worried about us being on our own & my cousins wife was even saying she'd come and stay with us, so that sort of made me more worried. My mum is desperate to see baby Esther as soon as possible & doesn't seem to realise how hurtful I find her rush when she won't be able to see my baby. Never mind, I mustn't think about it as I just get upset. T says I should turn my hurt into anger as he thinks that's more healthy than keeping it bottled up, but I don't agree. Being angry wouldn't change anything & would just be a waste of energy. I just hope I can not think about it during labour, I keep having images of myself crying about it during that, and that really won't help with pain management etc.

How cool that your great uncle was in Santa Claus the Movie. How did that happen? I don't have any Christmas films I watch regularly. Films that spring o mind when I think of good films include Erin Brokovitch, Coyote Ugly (I like Adam Garcia in that film!!), old classics like Grease, Pretty Woman, Dirty Dancing. Chicago, Kings Speech. That's all I can think of at the moment but there must be more!

T weighed 8lbs something but he was early as his mum was induced. I weighed 9lbs 12. I can't see baby being small at all! My mum keeps saying how much my bump has grown each time she sees me. We're off to a MW appt this PM so it will be interesting to see how big I'm measuring now. I'm driving to te same town 3 times today - swimming, MW appt & then nhs labour workshop this eve! Bit excessive!!

My BP was 124 over something last time I was was MWs and at my mums house it was 117. My fit & healthy 20 year old brother was 116, so I'm happy with that. T's was higher than mine by quite a bit, so that's stopped him telling me mines high! I can't remember what his was. He is usually fit, so I hope it's ok. I'm sure it us really. I'm going to try to relax at MW today so I can get a nice low reading! I'll probably be trying so hard to relax I'll get stressed & it will go up tho lol!

I'd better get on. I'm going to listen to my natal hypnotherapy cd before swimming, which takes 40mins. I managed to listen to it without falling asleep for the first time on Sat (3rd time lucky!) so I'm hoping to manage that again. 

Do you start teaching today? Do you get new term nerves or is that just the pupils? xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

What is your name on fb? And whats your picture of? Ive got a pink bikini on in my profile picture lol it was taken on honeymoon. 

I didnt sleep very well at my mums house. I prob would of slept better at home in my own bed. The bed isnt mine from being little, it is a bed that my nanna had in her spare room. I dont know where my bed from being little went lol.

I love all those classic films too. My fave film ever is back to the future! 
My uncle got in Santa Clause the Movie after seeing an advert in the paper looking for older men with beards!! Lol he went along and got a part. He doesnt talk in it but u can see him dancing around lol. 

Sounds like u got a busy day. Take it easy! Great that your blood pressure is low. It must be all that swimming 

Have u been enjoying CBB? That Lauren is a character. I cant stop hearing her song in my head! "Im all dressed up and i got no place to go...." hahaha!

Sorry u are feeling upset about your parents holiday. Im sure u will be fine and wont need your cousin to stay. T will have time off work wont he? Then your mum will be back 

I start back at dancing on Thursday. I dont feel nervous now but i might be a little on the day. I hope everyone remembers to come back! Lol.

Dont know what to do today. Looks like a sunny day so will try to spend sometime outside.

Enjoy your swim and appointments. 

Xxx


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## Pansy

I'm totally paranoid about my MIL doing a search & finding these posts (when she is well, she would have plenty of time to do that!) so I'm not going to write my surname so it can be searched. Add an F to arm and then add er to make a countryside profession! Google shouldn't be able to find that lol! My profile pic is a close up of my face looking out of the car on my wedding day, with T is the background. None of the Janines I can see have bikinis on, so you might have to find me! 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Ok, i will try to find u xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Think ive found u? Ive sent u a friends request  xxx


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## Pansy

Yes you did! Can't believe I can see what you look like after 7 months of talking to you! You're wedding dress was so gorgeous (I always look at people's wedding albums first!) I love all your wedding photos. It's funny you can see me & all the people I've been walking about now! 

I'm at home briefly now before 3rd trip out to workshop. We had a different midwife today as mines on nights. She was still nice tho. Baby's heartbeat was a galloping horse for the 3rd time in a row. My BP was even lower - 110! I'm not convinced she did it right, it's never been that low! Good tho. All was well with me & baby. Head was free last time but now it's 3-4/5th engaged (apparently the most it gets to is 2/5th before labour). Seems like baby is getting ready, I ought to as well!!

Has James got a Ewan the dream sheep? I'd read about them ages ago & wanted one but they're a bit expensive. Lucy sent me one in the post today as a gift for baby! How cool's that?! I hadnt mentioned them to her. I'm v excited by it!

Hope you have a good eve. When does R get back? (I know what R looks like now, how funny! And you can see T!)

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Yes its so strange to finally see u! I feel like i know u on the inside but not the outside, if u know what i mean. Your wedding pics are lovely too. I love your tiara, so beautiful. 
You look like i imagined but i didnt expect your hair to be as dark (dont know why lol). 

Is a galloping horse supposed to be a boy or girl? Im glad all is well with baby and he/she is getting ready to come meet u . Your blood pressure is really good, must be all that practice taking it lol.

James hasnt got a sheep. Is it to help them sleep? He doesnt usually have trouble sleeping lol tipical man .

I hope u enjoy the workshop. 

R wont be back til late :-( 
Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

Galloping horse is meant to be a girl, although I think it's just as likely to be an actual horse!! Particularly with the weird wriggling that's going on this morning! Baby keeps having hiccups, especially when I'm trying to get to sleep - me being relaxed must get him out of synch.

I hope R got home before you went to sleep? Was he exhausted? Does he have to go to work today? 

Ewan plays 4 different types of heartbeat type music/white noise & glows red to soothe baby. It's soft & cuddly too. It's meant to settle them. Lucky James sleeps well. I don't know if my baby will if his waking pattern at the moment is anything to go by!

Lucy is wearing pink in my wedding photos. There's a photo of her & James at the beginning, where the feather from her fascinator looks like a microphone! Natalie is the smaller of my two bridesmaids & Rachel, my cousin who has just bought a house that we visited recently is my other bridesmaid. It's funny you can see what they all look like!

The workshop was good last night, lots of info about what actually happens. The NCT course was more focused on the ideal birth & your choices & rights. This told you practical information about what actually happens. I'm glad I did the NCT course tho, as there would have been no chance to get to know people on this course. 

It felt v odd last night to not be thinking about going to work today! It feels like I should feel ill to miss work & is v odd not to. T has given me a v exciting task to do today - clear out the airing cupboard!! He's going to make a 2nd shelf for it next week, when he has the week off, so it needs to be cleared first. I had other things I was going to do today too, but I can't remember what they are! When's R's time off in Sept? Are you going away? We're not, after all, we're just going to get stuff done at home & have day trips. 

Are you looking after James today or is his mum not back at school yet? Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

I hope u are having a nice day. 

Ive been looking after James again. He is so good. He has been laughing loads! Im back home again now. 

R got home at 9.30pm last night so not as late as i expected. He was tired so we just went to bed. He has been off work today and stayed in bed a long time while i was out. He is also getting Friday off work which will be nice. 

Tomorrow im going to visit Rachel (the friend whos hen do i went on). Her bf is on his stag do so she wants to keep busy! He has gone abroad for 4 days! Dont know how he got away with that lol. But im looking forward to seeing her and getting the gossip.

Have u clean out the airing cupboard? Its good that T is doing lots of little jobs before baby comes. 

Think we are just going to have a quiet night in. We should really go visit the inlaws but i just asked R and he doesnt want to. Is T like that? R is not bothered about visiting his family, i always have to make him lol.

Have a lovely evening xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

Glad you enjoyed your day with James. Is he the baby on your wall posted on 4th Aug? Such a cutie! 

Where has Rachel's bf gone? I'd hate T to be away for 4 days like that! T didn't want a stag do so his BIL organised one as a surprise for him. Nothing major, they just went to an outdoor activity place to do archery & buggy driving, had an all you can eat meal, then went bowling. He was so surprised tho, it was v funny! Is the wedding at the end of the month? 

T is exactly like that with his mum, it's always me who suggests we visit. It's usually me who does all the talking too. He wouldn't like it if we didn't visit, he's just never motivated to actually visit lol!

I cleared out the airing cupboard & paired up about 10 pairs of socks I thought had lost their friends forever, so that was good. I've still got about 10 that are odd though - where do they go??! I also cleaned the bathrooms, so I was quite constructive. I've invited T's sister round for coffee tomorrow (hope she doesn't really want coffee, I can't stand the smell, lol!). She is the only person I know who gave birth without any painkillers, not even gas & air, so I want to question her on how she managed it. I haven't found a single person who thinks I should give birth without the option of an epidural, I'm hoping she'll be the first! 

I'm off to Bath (again!) today to meet up with my brother's GF. I'm hoping my other brother will come so he can drive me, but I don't know if he'll bother getting out if bed!! He's only got 2 weeks left at home now before he goes back for his 3rd year at uni. When it gets near the end of his hols like this I always feel like I haven't seen him enough. 

The dr rang me at home yest out of the blue to say I need to start weaning myself off the antisickness pills. I don't know why she rang now, I haven't asked for a repeat (although would have next week). She's going to ring the hospital to see if I really need to come off them as I'm still being sick at least once a week. I read about it on the Internet & scared myself with info about how baby can have withdrawal after birth from them, but I don't know if that's a higher dose than I'm on (they can be used at much higher dose to treat psychosis). I reduced my dose by one yest anyway and was ok, but it usually takes 2 days to see an effect on me. I'll just have to see what she says today. 

Hope you enjoy your catch up with Rachel. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning!

Well done for all your cleaning yesterday. U are managing to do a lot whilst pregnant. I dont know where my odd socks go either! Lol maybe we have some of each others .

Rachels bf has gone to Magaluf. I wouldnt like that and there is only 6 of them who have gone, so no dads or any men from Rachels family, just his mates. R had his stag do in Edinburgh at the same time as i had mine in York. He went rafting and they made him dress in a tutu and one of my dancing school T-shirts! Then they had a night out but both my brothers went. 

Tonight we are going to visit the inlaws. I always do most of the talking too! We wont get there til late though as R is working til 8pm so it will just be a flying visit. 

Yes the cute little blonde boy is James! Posted on 4th Aug. Everytime i look at that photo it really makes me smile. 

When u got the call from your doc i bet u were wondering why they were phoning. Its a good idea if u can cope with reducing the tablets. Good luck, i really hope u are not sick. 

Have a lovely day in Bath with your brothers girlfriend. 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

Hope you enjoyed visiting Rachel and the inlaws? Is Rachel all sorted for the wedding or us she having any last minute panics?

My mum told me that they have paid for the holiday, so that's that now. My dad said he was going, even if she didnt, which I thought was a pretty harsh. He then paid for it without telling her, so she was v upset on Tues & took an hour off work yest AM. I am obviously still upset about it, but will have to get my head around it now. I wish she would come over & see me & tell me it's all going to be alright, but I suppose even if she did, it wouldn't really make me feel better. Just knowing she will never see baby when he or she is newborn upsets me so much. Must stop thinking about it & upsetting myself. 

My brothers GF told me they are going away the same weeks as mum & dad & cos I was upset re mum (I didn't say anything, I just couldnt talk about it fir fear of crying), she took that to mean I was upset they were going & is now offering to change their plans for me! I feel really bad for making her feel like that. I think I've convinced her not to, but it was sweet of her to offer. They live over an hour away, so to be honest, it's not like they'd pop in much. And they couldn't replace my mum. But it was sweet of her to try. (I doubt my brother would have agreed to it anyway!)

The dr said I def have to reduce my pills, one a day this week, none next week. I've managed 2 days of one a day, woohoo! Just taking it day by day. She told me she was the same amount pregnant as I am, which is weird as she was the one who did the fertility tests for me & who I rang to say I was pregnant. She probably found out at the same time as I did! She's working till she's 37 weeks. She told me to relax, put my feet up & let someone else do the running around for me, so now it's officially drs orders lol! I won't have to feel guilty if I watch tv in the middle of the day! I haven't had any time to relax this week, I hope next week is calmer, although with T being off, I doubt it. His list of tasks doesn't involve me much though, so maybe I can just sit & watch him work, lol!

I keep forgetting to ask, did R ring the hospital? Do you have to do the initial tests again?

Good luck with your start of term today! Hope you enjoy it! I've got T's sister coming round in a minute so I'd better get back to some vague tidying! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Sorry that your parents have paid the holiday balance and are definitely going. It's a shame that your brother will be away as well. What date did you say they leave? If baby is getting into position now, could there be a chance that he/she will be born before they go away?

I had a good catch up with Rachel yesterday. I asked her lots of questions about her wedding day and she couldn't answer most of them lol, she doesn't know the timings of the day or what photo's she wants etc, or where they are all staying the night before. I was very organised with lists and details for my wedding, I bet you were too?
Her bf hadn't rang her for 2 days and she was worried about him but then he rang after I left. I was stroking her cat and all of a sudden it jumped onto my leg and was digging its claws in! Then it ran away! It was scary lol, i'm now scared of cats after that. 

We went to see R's sister last night and took them an anniversary card as it is their wedding anniversary today. I bought the card but got R to write it. I like to try to get him to write it as I prefer it when my card is written by my brother and not his wife lol. But R always asks me what he needs to write!! Is T the same? 

R crashed into a big curb on the way home as he was too busy playing with his music and not concentrating. He has damaged 2 wheels! That's more money to spend that we haven't got :-(

Today I've been preparing for my classes tonight. I do feel nervous now but I will be fine once I get started. Will be nice to earn some money . I'm only teaching for 2 hours so it's a nice way to ease back into it. Bet I will be aching tomorrow though!

I hope u are not sick as you reduce your tablets. FX! 

We haven't rang up the hospital yet. I'm waiting for a letter with our appointment date and then I thought we could ring. I'm so confused with it all. I just wish I could of got pregnant and didn't need to go through all this hassle. 

I hope you enjoy seeing T's sister. Have a nice day xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

Are you sore from yest? How did the classes go? Do you have many today?

Oh no that R damaged his wheels! Is it the tyres or the metal bits (technical term!!)? Bloomin boys, fiddling with music when they should be concentrating!

I have to put any cards for T's family in front of him with a pen & tell him what to write too! He doesn't understand why he has to write them either, but I think it's much nicer to get one written by your own family member.

My wedding day was v planned too - I think I would be panicking if I didn't know what was happening or what photos I wanted! It's not like you can remember afterwards & go back & do it again! Naughty boy not ringing everyday on his stag holiday! And what a weird cat! They are odd creatures, they only just about tolerate humans, and only on their own terms!

My parents go on the 10th. I doubt I will be early, as my dates & the ovulation blood tests make me due the 12th. I've been upset about it again this morning, I must stop, it's not doing anyone any good. I just dreamt about it & woke up hoping it wasn't true, but it still was. T is working tomorrow morning & then has a week off, so he'll be here to make sure I'm not upset in the mornings soon. That'll be better. I know I should just move on & concentrate on everything I have to be happy about. Maybe it's hormones making me sad too?

I had a nice dream too tho, I dreamt that you and R came down to watch the carnival! In November we have a carnival that goes round the towns in Somerset. Carnival groups get big lorries, take their sides off, cover them in thousands of light bulbs & decorations & create moving parts. People then create dance routines to pop songs & perform on them in costume. The floats are pulled by decorated tractors. Glastonbury, where my parents live, is one of the biggest ones as its on a Saturday night & people come for miles to watch it. You get big coach trips from Birmingham coming down. Do you have anything like that? I think it's just something we do round here. I don't know why I was dreaming about that, but you & R enjoyed watching it lol!

Here's a video of last year's carnival - although the music doesn't exactly go with it! 

https://youtu.be/VD9wvl_aPus

Are you trying this month? Have you ovulated without clomid (or is it too soon to know yet? I've lost all track of time)? Maybe you will get lucky before you get your appointment through.

T's sister was very positive & helpful yesterday, so that was good. In the afternoon I made a casserole & then had an urge to make an apple crumble! T was shocked to find me being so domesticated when he came home!! It was v nice, even if I do say so myself! I was v tired in the eve tho!

Hope you have a good day today & aren't too stiff! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Im not aching at all, i cant of worked hard enough lol but i was tired when i had finished as it was very busy. Feels good to be making money again. My mum was in my shop and was very busy too. 
I dont teach today, i will be working Sat morning. 

Im looking after James today. He is a sleep now so im taking this chance to write . Its been raining all day so we cant even go out for a walk.

Tonight R and i are going out for a meal for my friends 30th. Ive never been to the resturant before but my brothers wifes brother is the chef there, so im hoping for a lovely meal. 

Lovely that we were in your dream . Im glad we enjoyed the carnival and got to meet u! We have a little village fete with a parade of floats where the children dress up and go along and there is a prize for the best. We also have a music festival where they take the sides off a lorry and the band use it as their stage. Your carnival is bigger though. 

R has ordered new tyres. He damaged the wheel and the wheel trim (metal bit lol) so hopefully it will be sorted soon. 

Sorry u are still feeling upset. Im sure when T is off work it will help take your mind off it. U are right, its best if u can force yourself to concentrate on the good happy things. U have so much to look forward to. 

Im cd11 now. Im going to start using opks from cd14 and see what happens. I really cant see myself getting pregnant anytime soon. And if i ever do i cant imagine actually getting the baby. I want my appointment to come through so i have a date to concentrate on. Im temping so i should be able to work out if i do ovulate or not without clomid.

U did well with your cooking yesterday. I wonder what u cook tonight 

Hope u are having a nice day xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

Was the meal nice? Hope your teaching is going well? Did you enjoy the rest of your day with James? Did R have the day off yest?

I laughed at you wondering what I will cook yest eve - that was my one bit of cooking fir at least a month lol! T is much better at ths cooking malarkey than I am!

Don't give up hope on getting pregnant. It's only been 6 months since your loss, which is how long it takes an average couple isn't it, so there's still hope. I couldn't imagine it ever happening for me before it did & I still can't actually imagine having a baby, as crazy as that sounds. It will be good when you have an appointment date to focus on. Did they say how long it would be before that came through?

Do you watch Strictly? T has invited my brother Steve over tonight to watch it and play some form of drinking game! He is hoping my brother will come up with some amusing comments about which dancers he fancies if he's drunk. They were discussing it the other day - t seems to like some of the contestants, but I'm not sure which ones yet. Maybe the woman from countdown? Steve is going back to uni soon so it will be nice to have him to stay. 

I was sad Dustin went on CBB last night. I don't think they have shown enough of him. His best bits made him look like a good housemate. 

I didn't manage to keep my antisickness pill down this morning (I had been awake for 2 hours before taking it & apparently the water was too much) so I'm having a day of no pills - yikes! Feeling sick, but then after throwing up twice in the night I would even if I'd had the pill. I hope I make it through the rest of the day ok.

T is working this AM then his weeks holiday begins, woohoo! He never takes time off without us going away, so it'll be strange, but hopefully good. This time last year we were on our way to Paris & then the Loire valley. This is when we always have our main holiday usually. Are you still planning to go away in Oct?

Hope you have a good Saturday! xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello!

Ive had such a busy and not got chance to write. After work i went to my brother Craigs house as they are all home from Croatia. Only just got home now and im tired out. 

Just thought id write a quick message now and write more tomorrow.

I hope u havent been sick anymore :-(

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

How were Craig's family? Have the kids grown? It must've been nice to see them all again!

I'm the only one awake here - I wonder what state my brother & T will be in when they wake up! We had a v amusing evening. They didnt bother making up a drinking game for Strictly, they just drank through it. T thinks its the best year ever for women. His top 3 are the woman from Countdown (te young new one, in case you didn't watch, not Carol Vorderman!), Suzanah Reid from bbc breakfast & Sophie Ellis Bexter. He actually said the Countdown woman was the perfect woman cos she has good looks, no tattoos & a university degree! If it wasn't so much hassle to get out of the chair, I would have gone over & slapped him lol! 

They continued with the wine, got v over excited about some Brie that they ate with French bread, saying it was the best ever. I didn't point out o them that they probably couldn't actually taste it!! They ended up watching the Proms (!) & having a v passionate conversation about which was the best instrument to learn & what the point of conductors was. T seemed to think the way to win any argument was to talk the loudest & S spent a lot of time laughing. I went to bed & left them playing computer games - I wonder how that went! They went to bed at 1am, so they must've been having fun at least! It's v rare that either of them actually gets drunk, so it was v amusing to see! T lies a glass of wine in the evening sometimes, but I've banned him from next weekend in case he needs to drive. He doesn't usually drink enough to be over the limit, but I just don't think it would look goid him turning up at the hospital smelling of wine!!

We went to see T's mum yest PM. She still looks pale, but says she's about 70% better. I felt pretty yuck most of the day yest, I'm now v much not looking forward to Tues when I'm off the tablets for good. I took one this am & feel better today, but I slept a lot better too, so that's probably why too. I'm sure it'll be fine!

We're going to my parents for tea tonight when we take S back. Not sure what we're doing with the rest of the day, it depends when they wake I guess! Are you having a quieter day today? Hope you enjoy whatever you're doing!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

It's Sunday! I love Sundays. R and i are just sitting listening to music. We will probably go out for dinner this afternoon.

What time did T and S get up? Were they hungover? Sounds like a fun night. Its funny when other people are drinking but u aren't, they drive u crazy lol.

Our meal out on Fri night was lovely. It was v.expensive! We spent £80 and that was only on 2 main courses and 4 drinks!!!! My friends husband got her a choccywoccydoodah cake from London which we all had for dessert, it was soooo tasty! We didnt get home til 1am then i was up for work early.

Dancing went well. Classes were full and they all worked hard. Taking a lot more £ in my shop too which is a big help. 

It was lovely seeing Craig and his family yesterday. I had missed them so much. My niece Lana was 5 when they were in Croatia so had a birthday party with her school friends yesterday. She had a pink gym party and the photos look great! Id like a pink gym party . She was opening her presents when we arrived and she got loads of gifts from her friends! We took presents for her too. I got her a Sylvanian Family dress shop (like my dance shop) and a family called the Buckley family (which is my surname now). My brother asked if there was a Hunter family and i said it would probably be a man with a gun ready to hunt all the Sylvanians! Lol.

I dont watch Strictly but i have been recording Bake Off which i will watch when i get chance. Celeb BB has been a bit boring really, dont u think? I cant wait for Im a celeb to start!!

Im glad Ts mum is starting to feel better. I hope u manage ok with any tablets! FX. 

Enjoy your tea tonight at your parents house.
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Sorry I haven't written - T was on the iPad when I got up & we've been non stop since. We went out for lunch, then played indoor crazy golf - I got a Groupon deal for a new place. I managed to beat T! It was quite a good course & we had it to ourselves, so it was fun. 

We then hired a Rug Doctor to clean the carpets tomorrow before my midwife appt. All is still well. We went through the birth plan, which was a bit scary. I'm not allowed to swim after next week, due to risk of infection of baby if my waters broke. Shame, as its the only exercise I enjoy at the moment. I expect the other pool users will be pleased to be rid of my lane rage tho!!

Off to bed now, exhausted! Hope you've had a good day. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

I know the feeling, i have had a busy day too. 
Done food shopping, walked Hollie and planned show work. Then i picked up my niece from school and we went dancing. 

When i got home R was looking at holidays. He wants to go away for a week in October. Think we will look in more detail tomorrow. 

Cant believe how close u are to having your baby! 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

I have the iPad this morning, hurrah! I think T is vacuuming already! He's a bit overly keen! I'm only just about awake!

1st morning without pill & have been sick. Really hope this isn't what every morning will be like from now on. Dr said being sick once a day is fine, but she's not the one having to do it!

Looking at holidays is exciting, where are you considering?

I love Sylvanian families. I only had a few when I was little, but as an adult I think they are so cute! I spent a while looking at them on my Dads amazon account so now he gets emails recommending them to him! If I have a little girl I will be trying to convince her to like them. The dress shop sounds v cute. Not convinced by the Hunter family lol! What animal are the Buckley family?

T & S weren't hungover, much to both their surprises! They got up at 10 & spent most of the day playing computer games again. Nice for T to have a relaxing day before the hard work of this week.

I've never had a choccywoccydoodah cake. It sounds good! £80 for a meal is a lot! What did you have for main courses?

A day of cleaning today, with a bit of swimming for me. T doesn't really like swimming. The 2 times he went with me before Christmas he got a cold each time, so I'm not going to press him. 

Is it a James day today? Hope you enjoy it. The weather has really changed now, hasn't it? Hope you're able to take James out.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello!

Sorry I didn't write yesterday, it was another busy one! 

After looking after James in the morning, R and I looked at holidays online. We then went to the travel agents and spent a few hours there! We booked a holiday!!!! It is for a week in Tunisia (never been there before) we go on Sunday 22nd September and come back on the 29th. I shouldn't really be missing any dancing but we both feel like we really need a holiday, especially with the due date coming up! Cant believe your ticker says '25 days to go', its crazy!

How are u? Are u feeling a mixture of excited and nervous? What else do u need to do before baby comes or are u ready?
I hope u can manage ok without any tablets. Have u been sick today? 

The Buckley family are red deer but they look more like rabbits. The word Buckley means a meadow of deer. I used to like Sylvanian Families too. 

I got a smiley face opk this morning!!!! Didn't expect that but i'm not sure if I will actually ovulate. i'm taking my temps so that will probably tell me if I do or not. We have been dtd anyway.

When we went for that expensive meal last week, I had steak which cost £25 and R had Hake which cost about £20. The reason it cost so much was because we split the bill rather than paying for what we actually had and the other guests who we didn't even know eat and drank loads. Bit unfair really, as we usually split the bill with friends but when you are with people who u don't know I think u should just pay what u own lol. 

I hope u enjoyed your swim yesterday. The weather has changed loads and its been raining here all day. Think I may need to swim home! I'm in my shop today.
I saw another accident outside my studio this morning. I car bumped into an old lady on a motorised scooter :-(. I didn't actually see it happen but there were loads of police and an ambulance! Never a dull moment!

What are you doing today?

xxx


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## Pansy

Morning!

How exciting that you're going to Tunisia! Are you staying in a hotel? Is it by the sea? I don't really know much about Tunisia, apart from my aunt & uncle went there many years ago & rode a camel.

That's good that you got a smiley face without clomid. I wonder if you will actually ovulate?

I hate splitting the bill like that when I don't know the people too. I often have a cheap option on the menu & then find it v annoying when I have to pay for everyone else's expensive meals & drinks. I much prefer splitting it more accurately. 

I didn't go swimming on Tues as I was feeling too exhausted. I suddenly feel really knackered all the time. My arms & legs are aching all the time & I just want to lie down. I feel like I've got a bad cold, without actually having the cold symptoms, if you know what I mean. I guess it must've just hit me suddenly. I didn't feel ths exhausted last week. I keep saying to T do you think something is wrong, but he just thinks its cos I'm near the end. On Tues I helped with the carpet cleaning by tidying our bedroom - I did nothing in comparison to what he did, but was still exhausted. I feel bad for not even vaguely pulling my weight. Normally I can at least help him out by washing our clothes, but my arms ache so much carrying the washing that even that is exhausting now. 

Yesterday T did more housework & I tried to hide the fact that I was resting from him so he wouldn't get cross. I tried to look like I was doing something in another room from him. In the afternoon we went for afternoon tea at this 5 star hotel in Bath. My mil gave me money for a massage for my bday, but I have always wanted a posh afternoon tea, so I spent it on this instead. We had 4 different delicious finger sandwiches, carrot, chocolate & lemon drizzle cake plus fruit tart, & a fruit & plane scone with homemade jam. All in a fancy drawing room with silver cutlery. It was so nice. We couldn't manage all of it & took a scone home with us. After we walked round the hotel gardens & would have played crocket, but it was raining. We then came home & I sneaked off to have a lie down while T did even more housework!

Today we are off to buy a cot hopefully. We're also going to ikea. It's going to be another exhausting day. I keep telling T I can't be this exhausted, cos if I went into early labour I would have no energy to give birth, but he's only got this week off & wants to get lots done, so I don't want to let him down.

It probably sounds terrible to you, but I just feel nervous at the moment. The midwife said you feel like this when you've just given up work & then after a while you get on the point where you just want it over with. I don't feel organised at all, I feel like I've got so much to do & won't get it done. I'm nervous about labour & I'm nervous about how I'm going to manage afterwards. I'm a bit of a whinger at the moment aren't I? Lol.

On the plus side, I have managed 2 days without pills without being sick! Fingers crossed that continues!

Hope you have a good day today. Teaching this afternoon? Do you have someone who will cover for you when you are away or do you just cancel the classes for a week?

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Well done with no being sick! That's brilliant when u are not taking any tablets at all. I hope it continues for u 

I can imagine how u must be getting tired. Carrying a baby round all the time must be hard work, especially when trying to do housework etc.. Don't feel bad for not doing as much, that's what T is there for lol, to help u out  And like you said, u don't want to be too tired for labour. So take it easy! 
You are not a whinger lol but if u need a whinge then i'm here for u! 

I don't know anything about Tunisia either lol but we are in a nice 4 star hotel, all inclusive and right on the beach front. The reviews are quite good so should be fine for a little relaxing get away.

I'm in my shop again today. Business going quite well at the moment. Then I'm teaching tonight 5-7pm. It isn't long but I always feel tired out afterwards as the classes are very busy. My mum is cooking us a hot pot with Yorkshire pudding for when I finish. 
When I go on holiday, I will need to cancel a week of classes :-(.

Going to try to dtd again tonight if R is up for it. My temp is still low so don't know if I will ovulate but I hope so!!!! AF is due towards the end of my holiday and i'd love it if she just stayed away! She might not find me in Tunisia, sshhhhh!!!

I hope u have a good day xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Another busy day! It'll be like having a holiday when T's holiday is finished next week lol. Today he was putting up cupboards we bought from ikea yesterday & making a new shelf if our airing cupboard. I was trying to be helpful but was mainly staring into space! We've got to go back to ikea tomorrow as the shelves we bought aren't the right size - nightmare! It's over an hour away. 

Have you been looking after James today? How is the handsome chap?

You're hotel sounds lovely. A week in the sun will be really nice. I've never done all inclusive, but it sounds really appealing. We normally stay in apartments rather than hotels as with my ME I've found it exhausting to be up quickly for breakfast. 

I'm glad business is going well in your shop at the moment. Does this usually happen at this time of year, with the new term etc? Hope you enjoyed your hot pot. Surely Tunisa would be too far for the witch to travel? Hopefully she won't bother!

We wanted to go out for a meal tonight, but the local posh pub didnt start serving food til 7, despite opening a 5. I can't cope with waiting that long if food, I'm v much a tea at 5pm girl! We ended up having fish & chips instead. I sat down next to what I thought was a girl in her 20s & it turned out to be te cleaner who I sort of sacked! Awkward! Se said hello to me & was chatting away, so it was ok, but I don't think I'd have sat down if I knew it was her! She's probably late 40s - either I'm not v observant (probably) or she looks v good for her age.

Oh no, T has turned his Xbox on & is playing some noisy game. He goes for months without touching it & then suddenly it's like he remembers it. Does R play computer games?

Hope you have a good evening. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi, 

Im luck that R doesnt play computer games. He has an xbox and the lastest one on order but he uses it for other things that it does like linking up to our pc so we can view internet on the telly. I dont quite understand it lol. 

When does T go back to work? I bet u could do with the break lol. Its good that he has been doing lots of jobs tho. Its a shame u need different shelves and have to go to ikea again. Thats the kind of thing that would happen to us. Think ive been back to B&Q about 4 times in one day before!

I think i might of ovulated but tomorrows temp will tell me more. I got a letter from FS with a hospital appointment for 14th November. Thats 2 months away! I hate waiting!!
Might ring them and also ask if there are any sooner spaces.

I looked after James yesterday. He is fine. Sooo lovely! Ive been working today and my shop is still doing well. September is usually a good month with new starters buying uniform etc..

Funny that u sat next to your old cleaner lol....opps!!

What have u been upto? More staring into space? lol
Have u seen how u can apply for a one way ticket to Mars and that it will be turned into a reality tv show? I wouldnt want to go but id love to watch! 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

How's your temp this AM? Shame your appointment is so far away, it seems a long way away, ESP when all you want is a new prescription. Maybe there will be an appt sooner. 

I hadn't seem the prog re going to Mars. I would not be a good space traveller! I hate flying on an ordinary plane, I don't think anyone could get me on space ship! 

I can't believe I've got to full term! Watermelon certainly seems an accurate fruit, although it would be a huge watermelon! When we've been out shopping T has compared my bump to everyone else's & we've only seen one person who has a bump bigger than mine. Probably all the people as big as me are at home resting!! If I went into labour now, I'd be allowed to have baby at the birthing centre & be considered normal! T thinks baby will come early, but I think late. I would be v shocked if it was early! I've kind of got my bag packed. If I had to go to hospital now, I could pick it up & have most things I need, but there are a couple of things I'd like to add, such as a book/mag, some squash etc. I haven't bought nursing bras yet, was was told not to be fitted for them till last minute. I will probably do that this week. 

Ikea was so busy yesterday, it was a nightmare. It took over 30mins queueing to return the shelves, then ages to rebuy them. T is putting them up as I write. (I just heard a big bang, I'm staying away!!). On the way home, we called in to show our niece how big my bump was, but she was in a silly mood & didn't really care. She just kept calling me fat, fat, fat & telling me I looked silly. Probably tired after her horse riding lesson. 

Only a week till you go away, how exciting! What are you up to today? It was meant to be stormy today, but it doesn't look too bad here & I didn't hear rain in the night. I started my 37th week in same way I've dealt with rest of pregnancy by throwing up! I really hope that stops straight after birth. It's been written & highlighted on my notes to give me antisickness injection during labour if I start throwing up & I can even go in at the start to get one, then come home, if I want. 

After T has put up the shelves, we're going to be assembling the cot. It will go in our room from today, that will be strange, waking up & seeing that. We bought it on Thurs but I didn't want to put it up till I'm full term.

(Hope you don't find me talking about this too difficult)

Hope you have a relaxing Sunday! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Congrats on being full term. I cant believe how quick its gone but also feels like a long time too.

My temp has stayed high so im 4dpo but im not quite convinced lol. Last night i took my temp for fun and it was really low when it is usually sky high at night in the tww. Dont really know whats going on but never mind. I dont think we had sex at the right time anyway.

Yesterday we were doing DIY for my mams. Will hopefully get it finished before holiday. 

Did u get the cot put up? Will be strange for u to have that in your bedroom. I wonder if baby will be early or late or on time!
It is hard to hear about as id sooo love to be having my healthy baby at the same time as u! But i still want to hear about it. Somehow it brings my close to my baby and what we should of had. U dont need to feel bad, u can keep telling me everything.

The weather is horrid now and getting cool. Should be nice and warm in Tunisia . Hopefully i will have the internet so i can keep in touch with u.

What are u doing today? Im going to do a bit more DIY before dancing tonight 

Hope u have a nice day xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

What DIY are you doing at your mum's now? Hope you don't have too much to do before you go away. 

I'm intending to spend as much of today as possible resting and recovering from my week with T lol! I'll catch up with tv & generally do as little as possible, just for today. My ankles are swelling quite a lot & my mum says my face has swollen a bit too, so she thinks I should ring the midwife today. I will see if my ankles swell again & ring at lunchtime. They are ok at the moment as they go down at night, so if I rang now they'd think I was making a fuss about nothing. Apparently just 3 years ago you got an appointment every week at this point in pregnancy - I wish they still did that. I'm not really worried about the swelling, but I would like the reassurance of being checked this week rather than waiting till next week. I'll see how it goes. 

I wonder what your body is up to? I can't remember, can you get a temp rise without ovulating? The positive OPK & temp rise seem to be a good sign for ovulating. 

It feels strange to not have T with me after a week together. I always miss him after holidays. My brother goes back to uni on Wed so I'm going to miss him too. It's his 21st on 4th October, so we've got to sort out a present for him. I've got some ideas I think. 

It also feels odd not to be planning to swim on a Monday. It's a shame I didn't go last week, but the midwife told me not to go from now on, so I'd better obey. I was still doing 30 lengths at 35 weeks pregnant, so that's almost as good as 36 weeks!

We got the cot up & had a little panic about how big it is! The radiator is on my side of the bed, so we have to make sure there is space between that & the bed. The wardrobe is on T's side, so we've had to have the door permenantly open so we can move the bed closer to it. It seems very strange in there now! I've made up the cotbed & the Moses basket, put the Moses basket in the cot bed & covered it all with one of our bed sheets so it doesn't get dusty. At least that's one thing I've got ready!

Tunisia will definitely be an improvement on this weather! September is a lovely time to go away, cos its all autumnal here but you have nice warm weather to look forward to!

I might go & get dressed now, before more resting! Hope your DIY goes well. xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

Just to let you know, my swelling is all fine. I rang the midwife & she told me to come in to be checked. She found all is fine, my BP is normal & there's no protein in my urine. She didnt make me feel silly for ringing & said to call again if I had any further concerns, so that was nice. 

Hope your DIY is going well. Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Im glad your swelling is ok and that u got checked out.  my friend Jodi had swelling when she was pregnant.
Did u have a nice relaxing day other than that?

The DIY is painting my mums front room, dining room and hall/landing. We are still sanding and preparing walls at the mo....long way to go!

Im looking after James today then DIY later. We are having steak for tea so that will be a nice reward!

My temp was a little lower today but FF still says i ovulated on my chart so im happy with that.

What are u doing today? 
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Yes, yesterday was v relaxing. Once T came home, he was a bit grumpy & I felt guilty that I hadn't done anything, so I thought he was grumpy at me. He said afterwards that he wasn't, that he knows I have to rest. I just feel really bad when he comes home from a long day at work & then tidies or hoovers.

My mum popped in to see us on her way home from work. My dad was off work ill. He has managed a couple of weekends with doing longish walks to prepare for Nepal & has now collapsed again. I wish he would see sense - I don't know how he thinks he will manage trekking in mountains & camping. All his colleagues at work think he shouldn't go, but no one will tell him, as he has to decide for himself. I wish so one would tell him. He won't change his mind now.

My mum told us quite a shocking thing about my brother's girlfriend. I've heard in the past few months that she has anger issues, to put it mildly. She has broken the bathroom door in their rented flat & within the last month has punched or kicked a hole in the wall there. On Fri night they went away to a hotel for the night and she punched/kicked a hole in the hotel room wall! Isn't that dreadful? I can't imagine ever losing control so much that you damage property like that. My brother said he walked out of the room & all the cleaning staff were standing outside, where they had been listening to her shouting. He was so ashamed. She has now promised to get help, but then she promised to get help when she made the hole in their flat wall. I don't know what help she needs, but it seems more than anger management to me. It was all over him wanting to relax & her wanting to do something apparently. Have you ever heard of anyone being like that? I'm scared she'll turn on my brother. The hotel wall seems worse than the flat wall & that was very bad, so it seems like its escalating. At least he's telling my mum about it, so it's not like he'll let her hit him & just take it, I hope. She hasn't managed to make him feel like its his fault, thank goodness. I feel really sad for my brother, that he has to deal with this. Do you think she can ever change or would he be better just getting away from her? My dad thinks he should tell her parents, but I think that would definitely be the end of their relationship if he did, so should be used as a last resort. My brother is 30, he should be with someone he can settle down with, it would be so sad if he had to start again, but then he can't live with someone like this. I'm so glad I found T.

I'm having another quiet day today, with slightly more household tasks, like washing & changing our electricity price plan, nothing too taxing. I hope you have a good day with James. Is it nice enough to take him out? It's brightening up here, although its meant to rain again later.

Hope you enjoy your steak, you will definitely have earned it!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

I just had to reply straight away after reading that about your brothers girlfriend. That is terrible! Ive never known anyone act like that except for on tv soaps! Personally i think your brother would be better of without her. You wouldnt want her to be the mother if your child and to set that example. Maybe her parents know she acts this way? I feel so sorry for your brother. As if she would act that way about such a trival discussion. He must be walking on egg shells. 30 is still young enough to find a nice partner. Both my brothers didnt meet their wives until they were 30 and just did everything really fast lol. 

I hope u have another relaxing day and get your jobs done. Its been raining here all day so i couldnt take James out. Im hoping the weather is better on Friday as id like to walk James to my house to spend the day with R. 

Anyway back to DIY now. Ive just ripped the carpet off the stairs  that was a fun job!!! 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

I was hoping you would say you knew someone who had similar issues & they got help & it was all alright in the end! Ever the optimist! It not something I've ever heard of anyone doing in real life either. My brother was so upset after his last GF cheated on him & they broke up, I'd hate him to have to go through that again. But I agree, she couldn't have kids like that & I don't know what future they could have if there's always the threat of violence hanging over him. I wonder if her parents do know? Maybe it's something you inherit from your parents?? I spoke to him today & he didn't mention it, so he's obviously just sharing it with my mum. As long as he keeps talking to someone.

The saga of my parents insane holiday continues. My dad went to the drs on Mon & he has to have blood tests & a chest X-ray. He will get the results on 4th Oct & they go on 10th! He will also be referred back to the hospital but that won't come through till after their holiday. They think its unlikely the tests will show anything new, but want to make sure nothing has been missed. He is still off work today. He rang my brother & told him to get immunisations as there is a chance my brother might go instead! My brother told him that he will need to know by end of week, cos obviously he can't just take time off at last minute. My dad doesn't know if he can let him know by then. The problem is, as well as the physical symptoms, the illness & the pills affect my Dad mentally, so he's not really himself. He can't see anything from anyone else's point of view. I think if he wasn't ill he'd see that ths holiday is insane & that taking mum away fom me when her first grandchild is being born isn't fair on her. Last week he told T, when I was out if room, that he would've cancelled the holiday "for something important"!!! This really upset T. I refuse to believe that if he was well my dad wouldn't think the birth of his first grandchild was important. Oh well, we will see what happens. I'm trying hard not to get my hopes up that they will cancel, but it's hard not to when it's something that you want so much. I'm just trying not to think about it still.

When's R's hospital appt? Is it before you go away?

How's the painting going? What colour has she chosen? You're so practical, being able to rip carpets up etc. I don't think I'd have the strength to do it, let alone know how to paint nicely. I helped T paint his mum's hall a few years ago, but I didn't enjoy it much!

I've had another restful day today - I'm getting good at this!! I thought time would drag without work, but it's actually going really quickly! Did I tell you work rang last week? It all sounded v chaotic, smokey woman answered the phone with "good morning, this is Millfield prep school" when it was afternoon & she hasn't worked at the prep school for 18 months! My boss was panicking about something too. It was satisfying to see they are missing me!

Have you started packing? So nice to pack summer clothes! We actually put the heating on in the living room for a bit yest! I've got my maternity jeans on today for the first time since June. It was quite a shock to see my bump in them now compared to how they looked in June! I still fit into them, so that's a relief!

Hope you have a good evening? Are you teaching tonight? xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

I havent been teaching tonight but we had another day of DIY. I dont enjoy doing it but the results are good and i just keep working like a machine. Today we got the whole front room and dining room painted. We did a white undercoat and just a cream on top. It looks lots better already. Still got tons to do! Wont be finished by holiday but nevermind. We are planning on getting up early to paint the hall and landing. Then im going to meet Jodi for coffee whilst R plays golf (if it doesnt rain). Im at dancing tomorrow evening then going straight to inlaws for fish & chips. We are so busy now til holiday! Every min of the day acounted for. I wont be packing til Saturday evening. 

You poor dad being ill and not knowing whether to go on holiday or not. I bet u are worried about him. Its not very nice what he said to T but if he is not feeling himself then i guess u just got to take that into account. I hope they cancel the holiday and get to stay home with u . I hope u are managing to relax in mind as well as body? I feel like u have lots if people to worry about e.g your dad, your brother, Ts mum... remember to put yourself first at the moment 

Its good that work cant cope without u. When do u plan on returning?

When u didnt write this morning i was thinking u may of gone into labour!! Im going to be thinking that everytime now lol. I have a feeling u might have your baby when im away on holiday and i wont have internet and i will miss your announcement!! 
If u have a long labour u can message me and i will say "breathe" and words of encouragement lol. 

Im chilling in bed now watching corrie. Good night 
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Morning!

Oh my goodness, you're so going to need a holiday lol! I can't believe how busy you are! Be careful not to wear yourself out before you get away! I'm glad the results of your hard work are looking good anyway, that must be satisfying. 

I seem to be the only one who doesn't think I'm going to go into labour at any minute lol! It still seems miles away to me. T thinks 4 weeks tmr is the latest they will induce me if I go over, so he keeps saying we'll have baby by shortly after then. The number of days on my ticker seems very small, I can't believe it. I still think I'll go over, so I don't think I'll have it while you're away! I still haven't properly got my head around ths whole labour business, maybe you don't till you actually have to do it?

I'm off to be fitted for nursing bras in a minute. I always seem to end up spending so much on them. I don't know if it the shop I go to, but then I want to get properly fitted so I'm comfy. I hope they're not ripping me off!

I think it's May I have to go back to work, I think that's 39 weeks after I left. I will see how it goes. I don't ever want to put work before baby, as being a mum is so much more important to me. But as its only part time, I'm hoping I can juggle both. 

I'd best be off. Hope you enjoy your coffee with Jodi & your fish & chips. I'd love fish & chips tonight - we've got salmon & mashed potato, not quite the same thing!! Maybe I can convince T we need fish & chips at the weekend. We only had it last Fri tho, so maybe not! My bump dropped on Tues (at last, I was beginning to think baby didnt know where he was going!!) so I'm meant to have more room for food now. I haven't noticed more room, but I definitely fancy food more - although usually junk lol!

Have a good day. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello.

So today is not going as planned. Ive got sickness and dirreara :-(. Feel sooo ill. 

Have u been sick anymore?

X


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## Pansy

Oh no, poor you! Horrible! Is there a bug going round or do you think it's something you ate? I really hope you feel better soon. Are you able to get any sleep? Or can you snuggle up with daytime tv? 

Try to drink little sips when you can & rest lots. Hope it goes soon. 

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Thanks.

Feel very sorry for myself. Just resting in bed with regular trips to the bathroom. I dont have time to be ill :-(

I hope you are ok xxx


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## Pansy

How are you feeling now? Hope it's improving. Will R be home soon to look after you? Definitely not good timing when you had such a busy week, that's always the way things go don't it? Hopefully with being ill now you should be better by Sun tho.

I'm fine thanks. Bought 2 nursing bras, not too expensive (although still quite a bit!). T has been playing on Grand Theft Auto since he got home. I'm not convinced I approve of that game & def don't want him playing it around baby. Hopefully he will forget about it again soon!

Hope you feel better soon. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

T will soon be too busy changing nappies to be playing computer games lol.

Im glad u got your bras. You are getting organised! Have u bought any magazines yet for your hospital bag? 

Im still not well. R has gone to his parents without me. I dont want him to catch it. My mum text saying she is starting to feel ill too!

We are at a wedding tomorrow night so FX im well enough to go. Id hate to let the bride down ss u never forget the people who didnt make your wedding.

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

P.s I'll live but it's not recommended lol xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

How are you feeling this morning? Rubbish that your mum has caught it too, I hope R doesn't get it right before your holiday. 

Is it Rachel's wedding tonight? It would be a shame if you can't make it to whoevers wedding, but I'm sure they'd understand. 

I don't know what to do about magazines for hospital bag. If I buy one now, it will be out of date in a couple of weeks time. But if I don't buy one in advance, I won't have one. I'm buying a book for if I have to stay over - I needed one last time when I was in for sickness & there was no where to buy anything to read, the shops shut early. If I'm at the birthing unit, they don't even have a shop. Also, I don't know what magazine to buy, as I don't normally buy them. Any recommendations?

I'm off to an nhs breast feeding workshop this afternoon. That'll be the last of my antenatal classes. T's coming too. The other ones have been quite good, hope this one will be too.

My dad is meant to make up his mind by today about whether he is going to Nepal. He went in to work yest, but was too ill & came home at 12. I spoke to my mum yest, & she said that even if they don't go to Nepal, they will go somewhere else!!! I was really shocked by this, I thought she wanted to see baby & be there for me. I've wasted tears thinking that she will regret missing out & feeling sorry for her, when she will still go away even if she had a chance not to. So now I'm not going to be upset anymore, they can go where they like, I will just ignore the whole thing.

Have you watched Downton? I didn't watch it when it was on, but everyone else seemed to. My MIL gave me a box set for Xmas & I've started watching it again this week. I'm on series 2. I'm trying to catch up so I can watch some of the latest series live.

I have to listen to my natal hypnotherapy cd 3 times a week & then every day from Sunday! I don't know if its making any difference. I think I can relax more easily. I know most of it by heart now! It lasts 40 mins so it takes a fair bit of time out of the day (like I have anything better to be doing lol!). I'm off to listen to it now anyway.

Hope you're feeling much better & are able to go tonight. xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

How are you feeling? Has R avoided it? Did you go to the wedding? How's your packing going?

I've had an exhausting day, just cos of a long car journey really, but I feel totally exhausted. We went to pick up our pram/pushchair. We hadn't seen the colour before (navy blue) & we're really pleased with it - it looks v smart. We also hadn't seen this years model & they've made a few little changes which make it even better than the one we've seen before, so that's cool. Best of all, it actually fits in our boot! I know, sensible people would've checked this before buying it, but we didn't get round to it somehow! 

How's your packing going? When's your flight? I hope you have a lovely, relaxing holiday & enjoy the sun. Hope the hotel is good. Talk to you soon. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

I'm feeling loads better now thanks. We went to the wedding last night and it was really nice. My ex boyfriend was there (he was best man) and he didnt talk to me but afterwards he text me to say he was sorry we didnt speak. He said his girlfriend was mad at him for even looking at me when we walked in lol...opps...I didnt want to cause trouble! Anyway it was a good evening. They had a photo booth which was a lot of fun. Have u done one before? U got props and do funny pictures. R got the fire extinguisher off the wall and we used that in one picture lol. 

We are still packing now. Our flight is at 6am from Newcastle Airport. Im sooo tired from being ill and rushing about that I just want to sleep!

Glad u got your pushchair today and are pleased with it. Not long until u will have your baby to put in it!

Sorry that your mum said they would go away anyway. I'm very surprised at that. Just try not to think about it and concentrate on all the positives. 

Dont know if I will be able to get internet on holiday so if I cant, I will miss ya! 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Just thought I'd write in case you ave Internet. Hope you had a good flight & your now beginning to relax in your hotel. Hope it's lovely & hot & sunny!

My Dad decided this morning that he can't go to Nepal. I'm relieved that he won't ave to be rescued off the side of the mountain, but don't know if this increases the chance of them being there to see baby. Probably not, from what my mum said. I feel really sorry for him, cos it must be a huge disappointment. I wish he'd realised months ago so he didnt get his hopes up so much. My mum said the main thing she feels is relief that she won't ave o deal with an ill person 3 days away from civilisation. It's all such a mess really, but at least they can go somewhere safer if they do go away.

We've got our 2 nephews over today. T is entertaining them as I'm really tired today, even though it was just a car journey yesterday. They're out on the field playing frisbee at the moment. They are amusing, but a bit boistrous for me at the moment

Hope you have a lovely holiday. Talk to you soon. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello from Tunisia! 

Ive got internet...some how! So thought id send u a quick message 

Af has arrived... the bitch found me lol 

Having a good holiday. Hope u are well
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

So glad you're having a good time! Can't wait to hear all about it when you're back! Lovely pic of you both of Facebook!

Shame AF found you, how annoying that she's international!

My blood pressure has gone up a bit so I'm having to be monitored every 2 days by the midwife. They found it was 130/ 90 on Monday, and it's the 90 that worries them. That's the bit that tells them how my body is coping with the pregnancy. It's normally 70 or 80 for me. I did nothing but rest till my appt yest, but it was still 90. The midwife said its probably just my body saying its had enough of being pregnant, rather than anything more serious, but I have to be carefully monitored. She told me to rest, do nothing strenuous & avoid stress! So lots of tv watching & no thinking about anything that worries me for me!

Hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday! xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Hope you are enjoying the last few days of your holiday & have a good flight home. Hope you're feeling fully relaxed & all bonded as a couple.

I'm continuing to have fun with my BP. I had it checked again yesterday and a healthcare assistant found it was v high. We didn't believe her & eventually a midwife checked it & found it to be the same as its been all week, but for some unknown reason she decided to send me to the hospital to be checked. I'd already spent 2 hours at the midwife centre & had to get my hospital bag, ask my mum if she'd take me (she had afternoon off to take me to have a haircut) & go to the hospital. It was a long wait in the waiting room, but when the midwife checked my BP (3 times) she found it to be as healthy as it had been all pregnancy, not even as high as they've found it this week! No idea whats going on! I trust her readings, as she seemed really experienced, but can't understand how 3 different midwives have got it as high this week. They hooked me up to a monitor to check baby was ok, which he was, then let me go. I came home relieved everything was ok, but exhausted & a bit annoyed to have missed my haircut for no reason. I won't get another chance to have it now till baby is old enough to be left for an hour. Not convinced all the stress of going to hospital & waiting around will help keep my BP down!!

Back to midwife centre to be checked tomorrow, but today I'm going to see my cousin, little Isla & even littler baby Esther. I'm only staying a short time so I don't exhaust myself, but it'll be nice to get out of the house for something other than going to have my BP checked!

Maybe it was you that was keeping my BP down & when you get back it will all settle down again lol!

Looking forward to hearing about your holiday. xxx


----------



## Pansy

I presume you'll be home when you read this, so just wanted to say... Welcome home!!!
xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Yes we are home!!!!

Nice to be back, although we had a lovely holiday. The weather was nice and hot. Not a cloud in the sky! Flights were ok, except on the flight there we were sitting 30 rows apart!! I was so upset about that as we had paid extra to make sure we would get seats together. We got our money back and at least it was a short flight. 
Hotel was nice but the food wasn't great. I couldn't wait to come home to eat something nice lol. We went jet skiing, which i had never done before and it was good fun. Ive got a bit of a tan, so thats good 

Sorry u are having problems with your BP. Strange that it is going up and down, although that is probably a mistake. I'm glad u got baby checked and all is ok. 

Sooo exciting that baby can come anytime!!! I cant wait for u to have him/her 

xxx


----------



## Pansy

Yey, you're back! So nice to hear from you again! I have missed you!

Your holiday sounds lovely! Jet skiing sounds exciting! Were you both on the same jet ski or separate ones? I'd love to try that one day. What else did you do?

I'd totally freak if I couldn't sit next to T on a flight. I'm scared of flying, & not having T's hand to hold would be a nightmare! I couldn't cope! Glad you got your money back, bit rubbish that you paid for it & they didn't deliver!

Are you finding the cold & grey weather a bit of a shock today? It's been really dark here all day. Must be a big change for you! Are you back at work this eve?

I just about escaped another trip to the hospital yest! It was the same healthcare assistant & midwife as on Fri - my heart dropped when I saw them! They found my BP to be ok, same slightly raised level it's been all week, but then they found protein in my urine! Eventually I was allowed to do another sample & that one came back clear, thank goodness! After over 2 hours at the midwife centre I was allowed to go home! Really not v restful or stress free! I don't have to go back til Wed now, so I get one extra day off.

I'm feeling exhausted today & a bit achey this afternoon. I put a load of washing in and it physically hurt everywhere, so I think that counts as overdoing it. I'm now lying on the sofa for the rest of the day. T is home so he can haul me back upright - it's almost impossible to do on my own now!

Hope you're not freezing cold! xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello.

I hope u continued to rest yesterday. Take it easy!

I feel so down about it being October today and im still not pregnant! Im sooo gutted. I feel like everyone else has forgotten about my baby and that I'm over it. I act happy and that im ok and I think everyone thinks its all in the past now and doesn't hurt me anymore. But it hurts worse each day. Holiday was good but we just couldn't be happy. You know when you get excited by going to the beach and little things like that but we just don't feel emotions. We had some sad times and once R was even crying while laying on his sun lounger. Its so hard. I can't wait to go back to FS. I started talking clomid again this cycle. My last tablets!

We went jet skiing on the same one. I was on the back clinging onto R! We didnt do much else except for swimming and relaxing. 

How u feeling today? ?

Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello.

I hope u continued to rest yesterday. Take it easy!

I feel so down about it being October today and im still not pregnant! Im sooo gutted. I feel like everyone else has forgotten about my baby and that I'm over it. I act happy and that im ok and I think everyone thinks its all in the past now and doesn't hurt me anymore. But it hurts worse each day. Holiday was good but we just couldn't be happy. You know when you get excited by going to the beach and little things like that but we just don't feel emotions. We had some sad times and once R was even crying while laying on his sun lounger. Its so hard. I can't wait to go back to FS. I started talking clomid again this cycle. My last tablets!

We went jet skiing on the same one. I was on the back clinging onto R! We didnt do much else except for swimming and relaxing. 

How u feeling today? ?

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so sad. October will be a tricky month for you, especially the due date. It must be so hard not having fallen pregnant again. I'm really sorry to hear R was upset on hol. Thank goodness you have each other & you feel the same, it's not like you really wanted this & he wasn't keen or anything. Little comfort I know, but at least you have that. Do you talk to your mum about it? I know all the talking in the world won't make up for it or make you feel complete. It's so unfair that its not happening for you, as I know you'd make a great mum. It will happen one day. I'm 4 years older than you, & while I'd always thought I'd have a baby younger than this, no one seems to be treating me like I'm too old to be a first time mum, so you've got plenty of time. I hope you get to see the FS soon & they can offer you some help. The lady from my antenatal course who had 6 miscarriages has her baby now & the other lady who conceived using ivf also has hers, so people get there eventually, by whatever means. 

I wish I could wave a magic wand & take away your pain & make you pregnant. I don't know what to suggest. I just hope the FS has something useful to suggest.

Have you looked into adoption at all? I know it's not the same, but this time last year I was researching it cos I was thinking I might not be able to conceive with my health problems & my age & everything. It made me feel like I was doing something constructive & as it takes so long to do, I thought it was better to start sooner rather than later. I'm not saying that will be what you will have to do or anything, I just wondered if that would be something to consider looking into. Maybe once you started looking into it, you would get your BFP while you were waiting. Hope mentioning that doesn't make you feel worse.

I'm being pretty restful today, although I have just been to the supermarket with T. He got a flu jab. I get them on the nhs every year, but we thought ths year it would be a good idea for T to get one too so we don't bring flu into the house.

I've also posted Steve his 21st birthday present. His bday is Fri. I've bought him a nerf gun & 2 foam swords!!! V grown up for a 21 year old, but he said he wanted them when he was home over the summer! I hope he still wants them. Normally we go down to see him around his birthday, but I don't think we will this year, somehow!! He's in Plymouth. 

What are you up to this evening? Do something to treat yourself & R if you can. Hope he gives you lots of cuddles at least.

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Thanks for everything you said. Im hoping it will happen for us soon and that the FS can sort us out. I got pregnant once so I do feel like it can happen again. And I didn't miscarry so I know my body can hold a pregnancy, its just getting a healthy one. Ive talked about adoption but R doesn't want to. Not sure I would want to either as you are getting involved with another family who may not be very nice people and the child has a right to know who their parents are. I think id prefer fostering as I would feel like I was helping children. I don't know what I'd do if we can't have our own children. It would be my fault and I'd want R to have children with out me. To me children are the most important thing and I couldn't make him live without them because I can't have any. 

Anyway as you said I am younger than you so I do still have time. I definitely thought I'd have a baby by 30 but never mind! Bad things happen! 

We have been doing DIY today. Just getting a Chinese now for tea. It's nice to be back! 

I hope your brother has a lovely birthday! Whats happening about your parents holiday? Sorry to bring it up if you don't want to think about it. 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

How are you feeling today? How's the DIY going? Do you think you'll be finished this week? Hope you enjoyed your Chinese.

I've just come back from my all too familiar BP & urine check. I was out in 40 mins this time, so that's an improvement, & I only saw a midwife, not a HCA. My BP is still the same. It hasn't gone up, so that's something. This midwife said I'd definitely have to have baby at the hospital, not the midwife led unit. I didn't ask her, she just told me. I'm sort of glad I don't have a choice. I was getting into the idea of a water birth, but was always worred about not being in the hospital if things went wrong. Now I have to have it there, so I will have all the care I could need & won't be transferred in the middle. T is more against the hospital than I am, but I think he's coming round to the idea.

T is at work but feeling terrible today. He thinks its the flu jab, as you can get flu like symptoms, although I don't think I ever have. I hope that's all it is, I don't want him to be ill at the moment! (& i dont want to catch anything!) He says there's nothing going round at work. I didn't sleep well last night, so I've had a quiet word with baby & asked him to not come out today!

My parents have decided not to go to Nepal & my brother is going instead, with his girlfriend. My dad realised on the day you went on hol that be wouldn't be able to manage it. I think they are ok about it, although obviously disappointed. I wish he had realised he wouldn't manage it months ago, or at least a few weeks ago before paying for it! My brother gets an amazing holiday for free (well, he's paying a little) out of it, so obviously he's happy! Everyone keeps saying to me I must be relieved, but they don't know that my parents are still talking about going to Europe instead! I can't believe this! T & I are really offended, I've gone past being upset now. I'm just not thinking about it as it won't do my blood pressure any good. Maybe they won't go, but I'll always know it was just cos they couldn't get themselves organised & not cos they wanted to be here for me & my baby.

I'm going to get some more resting & tv watching in before T comes home. Hope you're having a good day. Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Im glad your BP is ok and your appointment went well. Do u watch 'The Midwives' which is a documentory like OBEM? Ive been recording them and are watching them today - through tears! The one i just watched was about choosing to go to hospital or the birthing centre so i ws thinking of u . It said that they encourage natural births and birthing centres because it is the cheaper option! At hospital you have everything u need and more expensive options to choose from and cost the NHS more money. I'm glad u are going to hospital, i think its safer. It doesnt matter if it doesnt feel homely as long as baby is well looked after. At least u don't need to make the choice anymore.

I bet your brother and his girlfriend are happy about going on holiday. Is this the girlfriend who punches walls? I hope your parents don't go anywhere and stay home for u. I can't understand why they would want to go away. You are such a kind and caring person and obviously id expect u to of got that quality from your parents. Hope i don't sound too harsh, but its crazy how they are not putting you first.

I think the DIY will take a bit longer than a week. But we are just doing bits in our spare time now. 

Today im staying home and have been doing lots of washing and ironing and watching tv. What have u been watching? 

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Just thought: I hope T feels better soon! My nanna from Scotland used to get the flu jab every year and every year would end up in hospital with flu. My other nanna who died in February, never got the flu jab and was never ill. It does give you a bit of flu. Hope T gets over it quickly
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Yes, T & I have been watching The Midwives, although I hide behind my cushion for the c-sections & anything that scares me! (I've never watched OBEM, but my MIL says this is less scary & more factual) The midwife led episode was on when I was trying to chose, so I hoped it would help. The lawyer who had a water birth (& thought her little girl was a boy lol) was listening to the Natal Hypnotherapy CDs I listen to, & she seemed quite calm, so I'm hoping they help. This weeks episode is called "It's Complcated" so T has decided we're not going to watch it - he doesn't see how seeing things go wrong will help me! We might watch it afterwards.

It is the wall punching girlfriend. It's a bit weird that she now gets an amazing holiday after that type of behaviour! My dad says he hopes she doesn't punch a hole in the tent or the mountain! (We know its not funny really). T says the same about my parents, he can't understand how I can be like I am or where I get it from! He says I do too much for them & it's all one way. I don't think I've ever been let down this much by them & really didn't expect it. Last week, when T was on nights, my mum popped in every night to check I was resting & do things for me, so I thought maybe she'd have changed her mind, but she still said they were thinking about going this week. I just don't know what they're up to!

T was quite poorly last night. He went to sleep for 2 hours when he came home. He says he feels better today but has a runny nose, which seems odd if its a reaction to the jab, but it's too much of a coincidence to be anything else I hope. I've got mine booked for the 22nd. I've always been fine in the past, but seeing him ill has put me off a bit.

My mum called in yest eve & brought the best thing ever - one of those grabber things on a long stick that you can use to pick things up fom the floor!!! It hurts a lot to bend down to pick anything up, which has meant that I have dropped all the more! I can now pick things up! So far today I've picked up a pill & the milk bottle lid & I've only been up an hour! Yest I even used it to get things out of the washing machine! I never thought I'd get so excited about something so simple lol!

I'm about to watch Downton. I'm at the beginning of series 3 now. I'm also going to watch the new Supernanny type prog that is on channel 4 on Weds. Can't remember what it's really called. Maybe 3 day Nanny? It's not as good as Supernanny used to be, but it's quite good. Have you recorded that? Have you watched any of Bakeoff yet?

How did R get on at his hospital appointment in Sept?

What are you up to today? I can't remember which days you work & which days you have James anymore - my brain us mush!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning.

That grabber thing sounds funny as! I bet u look funny getting washing out the machine with it lol. Its sounds very useful. See your mum is thinking about you! Maybe it's your dad who is disappointed that he can't go on holiday so wants to go somewhere. 

I still havent watched bake off lol. 

Today im going to visit Jodi and her baby Ellis. Im a bit nervous as I am finding it difficult at the moment. Sure I will be fine though. 

Then im going to the bank and shops before work. 
Tomorrow I will be looking after James. I bought him a tambourine from Tunisia and he loves it! I need to think of something good to get him for Christmas. Should start Christmas shopping soon but I usually leave it til last minute! But with my dance show being so close to Christmas I should start now.

I hope u have a nice relaxing day and enjoy your programmes. 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Just to let you know, I'm in hospital. My waters broke over night, but I'm not in labour. They've put in a pessary to prepare my cervix, in the hope I'll go into labour in next 24 hours. 

I'm pretty scared & have backache type period pain, but otherwise ok. 

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Thanks for messaging me.

I want to wish u all the luck in the world 

You will be fine. Just concentrate on your baby and breathe. 

I will be waiting for an update whenever your ready. 

Lots of love xxx


----------



## Pansy

Thanks for ur message. After a long labour, our baby was born at 0:59 this Am. A little girl! We are absolutely exhausted but so happy! 

I will tell you full story when I have regained some sleep. She weighs just under 8 lbs. She & I both had temps so have to stay in hospital for a few days. 

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello mummy Catherine,

Congratulations!!!!! To you and Trevor on your little daughter. Such lovely news.

I've been thinking about you loads and was also thinking you would have a girl . 

Can't wait to know her name 
And to hear your birth story. Obviously there is no rush as you are tired and busy. You have an important job to do now 

I will be here waiting whenever you are ready. 

Lots of love to all your family

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

P.s as if she was born on her due date!! And as if you have been calling her a 'he' all this time lol. 

Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Just to let u know that I am thinking about u. Hope u are enjoying being a mummy! I bet it very hard work. 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

I've really been wanting to write to you, i have missed our daily chats, but I just haven't had the energy. I am still feeling unwell from the whole hospital ordeal & am finding I have v little strength.

We were finally released from hospital on Wed eve (I am assuming today is Fri?). Lottie was discharged from being under special care 48 hours after birth, but I became severely anaemic having lost 2 litres of blood at birth. I had to have a blood transfusion on Tues. I hated being in hospital as I couldn't sleep at all - basically no sleep from Fri til Wed. I was weak after the birth & on iv antibiotics (I don't know why) & couldn't cope at night when T wasn't there. I think the lack of sleep is still a big part of why I feel ill now, although the anaemia will take some getting over.

I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense. I will hopefully be able to explain it more clearly one day. I had a forceps delivery as Lotties temp was high - that is why she was whipped off to Special Care as soon as she was born. She came back to us a couple of hours later, but received care from them on my ward. She had her arm bandaged & an iv drip in for the first two days. She is fine now. She is breast feeding like an expert! T put her on me in the fit position (lying down on bed) and off she goes! He is doing all the nappy changing & generally being a star. We are both totally besotted with her. She is such a good baby!

My parents have been round every day cooking meals & helping with washing & ironing. I'm so glad they are here. Today we have to go to get her weighed. She had only lost 4% of her birth weight on day 3 so everyone was really impressed.

How are things with you? I'm looking forward to hearing your news. 

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Sorry u have had a hard time in hospital and that u had forceps delivery. That must of been scary! 

Im glad u are all well and T is being such a natural daddy. It's also very good that your parents are around to help u. Just what u wanted . 
I saw your Facebook pic of Lottie and she is beautiful! ! Perfect looking baby girl and I'm not just saying that, it is true!! U must be so proud of her. 

I got positive opk yesterday but me and R are not getting on well at the moment :-(. I'm getting so jealous all the time. He keeps going on nights out with work friends which some are female. He is doing it more and more so I have been accusing hin of cheating on me. I don't think he would cheat but its how I feel sometimes. He is still passionate towards me and says he wants to be with me and no one else. This year is just a nightmare. I looked at his Facebook and phone and although he has some messages off work women they are actually talking about work and all above board with no kisses or anything to worry about. I guess I just feel insecure coz of whats happened with our loss and not getting pregnant again. I hope i don't have anything to worry about anyway. Sorry to moan when u just had your baby. Sometimes its nice to hear an honest opinion without having to talk to anyone in 'real life'. 


Hope u manage to get enough sleep
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

I'm really sorry I haven't written, I've been a crap friend. It's just really hard to concentrate on writing. I'm still not feeling well with the anaemia, plus the lack of sleep isn't helping me feel more human. Lottie is trying to achieve a world record for the most breastmilk a baby can drink, which is quite tiring!

How are things with you now? I hope things are better with R. I'm sure it's just the difficult month for you that is making you think the worst about him, I'm sure he would never look elsewhere. I hope you've been able to talk things through. It must be a really difficult time for you both & you need to support each other though it.

How is everything else with you? My little Lottie-monster is crying again, so I'm going to have to go & feed her once T has changed her. She hates having her nappy changed - screams every time. 

The midwife thinks I've got post traumatic stress after the difficult birth & hospital stay. I keep having flashbacks of certain bits & getting upset. I think "please make it stop" regularly, and have to remind myself it's all over now.

Hope things are better with you.

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

It's lovely to hear from u. I totally understand that u won't be able to write as often but i keep checkng because i like talking to u.

Sorry u are having flash backs and that the MW thinks its PTS. That must be hard. It is still so recent and with time im sure u will think about it less and less. You have a beautiful baby now!! 

Things are better with R and I. I am feeling better about everything and was not thinking too much about my loss but then something horrible happened. 
On Fri night I was invited to a friends house (H - not a close friend) for pizza and drinks. My friends Jodi and Suzanne went too. I had a magraine all day and almost didn't go but wanted to make an effort and not let anyone down so i went. Jodi and Suzanne have children but H doesn't and has never wanted any. Anyway, about half an hour into the evening she pops the non-alcoholic champers and announces she is pregnant!!!! I just wanted to cry. I could tell J&S were shocked that she was doing this infront of me. She said, she doesn't know if its the right decision and she might be making a massive mistake! I felt soo hurt! I'm happy for her but i would of rather of not been there for the happy announcement! How insensitive! I held it together and acted all happy but was dying inside. I had to eat pizza and stay for a few hours of pregnancy talk and it was killing me. What sort of friend does that? She is not maternal so i guess she doesnt have feeling for her baby yet, so maybe she doesn;t understand how much it hurts me but she knows what happened and sent me flowers in April which was lovely. Suzanne was giving me a lift home and i just cried when i got in her car. She understood and knew it must of been hard for me. When i got home i cried like a baby. R wasn't impressed! He was mad at me for getting upset. I don't think he gets it. He thinks i am jealous of H but i actually don't care if she is pregnant, but that evening was so painful. R didn't understand what it felt like to experience that evening. Can u believe that she did that? I wish i hadn't gone. Even if it was something less important like a house for example.....If H dream house had fallen through and i had just got my dream home, i wouldn't make a big toast about it because it would hurt her feelings.........but this is a child we are talking about! I feel so mad.

Sorry for telling u all my problems lol. I feel like i can tell u. 

I'm glad Lottie is drinking well. Is she good at sleeping? How is T finding it? How long til he goes back to work? Do u get lots of visitors?

I hope u are all well xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

That was really horrible of H! How insensitive can someone be?! V odd thing to do when she knows what you went through. I hope you've managed to forget about her insensitivity now.

Lottie had a not v sleep full night last night, so we are staying in bed today. She normally sleeps for 2-3 hours at a time & takes about an hour to feed when she wakes. Normally she wakes about 3 times a night. Last night she woke at 11, 1, 2, was awake from 3 til 5, then again at 5:20! Then finally at 8, before sleeping till 11. It's harder now T has gone back to work. He was doing the nappy changes & I did the feeds, but now I do it all & try not to wake him. Luckily I have nowhere to be today, so I'm just resting till T gets home at 3.

T has been amazing with her. I knew he'd be a good dad, but I didn't realise how amazing he would be. He's so soppy with her, he makes up songs to sing her & talks to her constantly. He says he misses her when he's at work. He had a huge part in our success with breast feeding. He would put her on me when I was too weak. (Oh dear, a dirty nappy is in progress!!) He is really encouraging with the breast feeding in public. So far I have fed her in a restaurant, the car lots & on a bench by the side of a canal! It's weird how when my nipples looked normal I kept them hidden, yet now they look freaky I get thm out in public all the time!!

We have kept visitors to a minimum as I've been feeling so weak. My parents have been round lots, but they cook & clean. We've seen T's sister & mum lots, but the kids only once as they need more energy. My cousin brought baby Esther round on Sat - she is 6 weeks older & looked huge in comparison. Lottie was fascinated by 3 year old Isla.

I had better go & change her nappy. She still screams like we're torturing her every time it's changed!

Hope things are good with you. Not long til Nov now - when is your FS appt?

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Sounds hard work but it will get more rewarding everyday. 

My appointment is on 14th nov. Im cd30 now and 12dpo. I can feel af coming tho :-(. If she doesn't arrive then I will test Sunday but I bet she will be here soon!!

X


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

No af so I tested and BFP!! 

clearblue PREGNANT 2-3 weeks!


Xxx


----------



## Pansy

OMG!!!!!! Congratulations! How exciting!!!!!! I just logged on cos I wondered if you'd had any luck! I am so happy for you! That's brilliant!!!!!

How are you feeling? What was R's reaction? Was he with you when you tested? How many times have you tested? When's your due date? I know it will be a worrying time for you til you have your 12 week scan, but try to relax & enjoy it & believe everything is ok. (I dreamt I said that to you today, how weird!)

Oh, I'm so pleased for you. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u so much!!

Im really pleased and going to try to stay positive. R says don't get too excited though but he is v happy. I was at a party last night and on my way home I stopped at a tesco to buy a test. I was took it at 5am (4am) coz I really needed a wee lol. I told R straight away and then we went to sleep lol. It feels brilliant to have a second chance. 
My date due is about 5th July 2014. 

I feel different from last time. I had a temp implantation dip and no spotting. I've had headaches feel tired and hungry. I was sick twice yesterday! Could of been nerves tho coz Im scared, excited and everything all in one. I want this so bad yet im frightened as well. 

How are u? How is Lottie? 

The lady from my dancing had a girl too. She called her Ella.

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

How funny that you went back to sleep! Did it seem real when you woke up again?

I think you have to get excited, cos being excited or not is not going to change anything, so you might as well be excited! But I completely understand you being nervous too. Your signs all sound good though. Quite early to be sick, I didn't start til 5 weeks after last period (I forget, is 2-3 weeks time since period or time since implantation?), but you said you wanted morning sickness! Are you going to tell your mum? Hope you don't mind I told T and he is sending you his best wishes too.

Lottie is good - she had a good day yest, after a bit of a grumpy day the day before. I think I slept about a total of 9 hours last night, which was fab. (I was in bed for 13 hours!) L is currently choosing a new comp with T - I can hear him chatting away to her about all the options! 

I still feel a bit like I'm falling apart! My stitches have started hurting again for some reason, I have thrush (never had it before in my life) & my nipples hurt, but other than that I'm good! I'm having less flashbacks, so that's good. Each time I think of anything horrible, I force myself to think of a Xmas present for L instead!

I'd better stop abandoning my DH & child - I can hear T telling her she doesn't want food, which no doubt means she does - she hasn't fed for all of 30 mins!!

Still so excited! xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

When we woke up I asked R to pass me to test to check it as it was on his bed side table. 
2-3 weeks is from implantation. Im 4weeks 4days lol sounds so little. 

Sorry u are still feeling not yourself. Looking after a baby is hard work but u are doing a good job. 
Xmas will be lovely for u with Lottie and my xmas should be a lot better now too. FX

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

How are you feeling today? Any more sickness? How's your sense of smell? Does food taste different?

I'm doing a feed then going back to sleep for another hour I hope. Lottie & I spread out our sleeping!

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Thats the best way to do it, sleep when u can 

Im ok thanks. No sickness. I feel very tired. Food is the same so far. Maybe its too early for many symptoms. Im scared of not having symptoms tho after last time. 
Know how lucky I am to be pregnant again and especially for October. It is making October a happy time rather than sad. Just hope so much that this is a healthy baby.

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Unfortunately Lottie had other ideas & was awake all morning! There goes my lie in! Never mind.

It definitely early for symptoms - loads of people wouldn't even know they were pregnant yet. I just remembered the smell & taste thing were my first symptoms, so wondered if you had them. 

There's every chance this will be a healthy pregnancy. It's amazing to think you've got a little poppy seed size ball of cells in you growing now! I keep imagining a little baby surrounded by rainbow coloured light!

Have you been affected by the storm? T said there were loads of branches down on his way to work at 5am. It was definitely noisy in the night!

Are you going to tell your mum or keep it secret from everyone?

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

I love your new ticker!!

We are not going to tell anyone. I'd like to tell my mum but R doesn't want me to. We want to wait til after scan and blood test etc. If we can get all that done by xmas, then we will tell family on xmas day! I might wait til 20 weeks to tell friends if I can hide it well enough. Hopefully I will get that far! 

We haven't been effected by the storm. A little bit of wind but not enough to keep u awake or anything. The weathers rubbish now tho. Keeps raining all the time. I really need to cut the grass once more but don't get chance.

We have done lots more DIY and its very nearly complete now. It will be finished by the end of 2013!!

Hope u have had a good day despite the lack of sleep xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Why does my daughter not sleep?!! I'm not complaining really, cos she is lovely, but she would seem even lovelier if I'd got more than 5 hours sleep! Oh well, maybe tomorrow!

That's really good that you've done loads of the DIY. It'll be good if you can get it done by the end of the year, as hopefully you'll have other things to concentrate on after that! Youll have to be careful with paint & chemicals now, maybe your mum will guess? If you feel you need to tell her, R will have to let you, as it's your body that's going through this & your mum can give you extra support. 

I'm aiming to visit my parents at work today. They get Lottie withdrawal symptoms if they don't see her for a few days! They'd also like to show her off to their colleagues! It will be the first time I've taken her out on my own. I wonder if we'll manage to make it out of the door!!

Apparently I can't even manage to finish a post!! Wrote this earlier. I did make it out - v impressed with myself for coping on my own! All their colleagues thought Lottie was v cute. She behaved well - slept the whole time! She's been awake since of course!

Have you had James today? Hope you're coping with the tiredness. Have you rung the dr to get booking in appt?

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

As if u wrote that post earlier and finished it later lol. 

Is Lottie just breast fed? Breast fed babies don't sleep as well as formula ones. My friend gave her baby formula as her last bottle before bedtime and it helped the baby to sleep longer coz its fuller. Not that I know anything lol just what I heard.

Well done taking her out on your own. U will be an expert soon! Do your parents work together? I can't remember. 

I haven't needed to look after James today as its half term so his mum is off. Last friday when he was a sleep, I fell asleep too! Obviously I know why now lol.

Im going to ring for mw appointment next Wednesday when I will be 6 weeks. Hopefully I will actually get to meet the mw this time and not some person covering.

Hope u get more sleep soon xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

I have heard people give formula last thing at night. We'd like Lottie to be exclusively breast fed if possible, but I might have to consider it. On Lottie's first day, they made us top up with formula as her glucose was low. We read the ingredients on the cow & gate milk we were given & it's scary what's in there! Really don't want to give her that again if I can help it.

Yes, my parents both work in the same office. 

6 weeks sounds a lot! I know it's not much out of 40, but it's still good. So you're 5 weeks today! 

Of course it's 1/2 term - I know that really! I'm not in a dream world at all! Do you get many trick or treaters? It's a big thing in our village. Lots of the adults decorate their houses & we get 100s of kids out. They haven't caused any trouble the 2 years we've been here. It's mainly little kids. We've bought a pumpkin this year cos it was reduced to 60p! I haven't carved a pumpkin for years! The kids only go to houses with decorations, so im hoping more will come to ours with this out. I didn't like Halloween before I moved here but now I quite look forward to it.

Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Yes im 5 weeks today! 

I've never been home on Halloween so I don't know if we get any trick or treaters. I usually get home late. This year I will be at dancing and hopefully the children will come to dance. I did a Halloween party last Saturday and dressed as a witch. 
I like that u bought a pumpkin. Ive carved one before and it was horrible lol I thought it smelt nasty. 

My car is in for MOT today. Im thinking if this pregnancy goes ok then I might get a new car in time for July. 

I'm eating as healthy as possible. Are u managing to eat ok? Do u find the time lol?

Whats your routine with Lottie. Do u bath her each night? I'm going to need all your advice if this goes well

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

How was your MOT? Hope it wasn't too expensive. Mines due on 12th.

I agree - pumpkin smells horrible! We put ours out, but only got 1 trick or treater! Rubbish! I could see kids out there, but couldn't lure them in!! Lottievwas having a constant feeding eve tho, so couldn't have gone to the door much. Did kids dress up at your class?

How are you feeling now?

I've got my flu jab this PM. T was ill after his, I hope I'm not. My dad was fine after his. T is meeting me outside drs soi don't have to take L in & expose her to all the germs.

Your only meant to bath newborns twice a week & just in water. She quite likes baths, despite hating nappy changes. I noticed last night she has a bit of a waking/pooing routine. She takes 2 hours to go to sleep between 9&12 & poos then. She wakes at 1:30 ish & 4:30 ish, when T goes to work. She wakes again at about 7:30. As well as 100s of other poos, she also goes at 1;30 ish. She likes gym time in the morning & is always feeding just before I eat my tea at 5. So she does have a bit of a routine, although it doesn't feel like it! By July I expect I will have made all the mistakes so I can tell you how to avoid thm!

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

MOT went ok thanks. Really quick and didn't cost much. I hope yours is the same!

Good luck for your flu jab. Hope u don't have a dead arm again for days and are not ill.

Im feeling ok. Getting worried about triploidy again as I think I feel like I did last time. Maybe I feel more tired and hungry this time but hard to say. 

I got a text from a friend yesterday who told me she was pregnant but when she went for her 12 week scan there was no heartbeat and her baby had died two weeks earlier. So sad. She had to be induced like I was. She said she didn't realise what I had teally been through before. This has made me worry about my pregnancy even more. Do much can go wrong. It id hard. I guess what will be will be. I just got to go with it.

Lotties routine is full on lol. How many times a day do u change her nappy? Have u gone through all those wipes yet that MIL bought? 

How is your MIL doing? Does she see Lottie much? Has she been buying more things?

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

How are you doing? It's too early to worry about symptoms, lots of people wouldn't even know they were pregnant yet. Morning sickness isn't meant to start til 8 weeks for normal people & loads don't get it. I was the only one out of 8 on my ante natal course who had morning sickness. 

What horrible news for your friend. So sad. Was it her first child? Like you said, what will be will be, you can't change anything by worrying. 

As I write I have a snoring baby sleeping on my chest. She woke at 8 (6 hours interrupted sleep for me) & has been v fussy & noisy, so I'm letting her sleep on me to keep her quiet. T didn't get home from work til after 3am, so he needs to sleep longer. We're off to a breast feeding clinic run by the health visitor today. I get to weigh her too - it will be interesting to see how much the little piglet has put on!

Are you going to any fireworks? We usually do, but obviously won't this year. It's the carnival I told you about a while ago in less than 2 weeks & my brother is coming home for that, plus my cousins are coming, so that will be good.

My little brother finally came home from uni at the weekend & met L. My other brother came over too, as did my parents, so it was a bit of a party! We saw all my brothers pics from Nepal - it didn't seem to upset my Dad too much.

We haven't been using the wipes my MIL bought. You're only meant to use cotton wool & water, but after 2 weeks we gave up & used these wipes that are 99% water. The ones my MIL bought smell of chemicals & make L flinch, so I think they are too harsh for her skin at the moment. I dread to think how many nappy changes I do a day! In last 24 hours we've had 5 poos! T says they're only meant to do one a day at some point - L obviously hadn't read that chapter yet!!

Hope everything is good with you & you're coping with the tiredness. 

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

Sounds lovely to have a sleeping baby on your chest. Hopefully I can some day too.

Ive been looking after James this morning. He does about 2 poos a day but sometimes more and sometimes less. He is very close to walking now.

Lovely that your brothers came round to see Lottie and your parents too. I remember the carnival, that will be nice. Are u going to take Lottie?

We aren't going to see any fireworks. We will just watch some out the window lol. 

We have done plenty more DIY. Curtains poles and curtsins going up now! Almost done  then my mum is going to get new carpets. 

Im going to ring the mw tomorrow to arrange my booking in appointment. I will be 6 weeks tomorrow. So scared that this baby won't be healthy but lucky to be getting another chance. 

Im tired but doing fine. Boobs are quite sore now so might start wearing sports bra in bed like last time. 

Are u looking forward to Christmas? What are your plans this year?

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Did you ring the mw? When's your appt? Have you cancelled your Fs appt or are you going to wait til the last min?

That's great that you have got so far with the DIY. Must be v satisfying now, after you've done so much work. 

We won't take L to the carnival this year, it'll be too cold. If she's asleep, I might leave her with my parents for 30min to look at some floats. I'll have my phone in my hand so they can ring me & will be just 5 mins away. 

T just turned over in bed & I found one of my breast pads stuck to him! Lol!

We met up with the ladies from my NCT course yest. It was really nice to see them & swap stories. They want to meet up regularly which will be nice. Today I'm going to a talk for mother's of babies under 5 months with some of them. It's been a full on week with an outing every day. My mum has been coming round to cook tea as T is on nights - I don't know how I'd have managed without her. Today I'm going to try, but L seems to wake as soon as I eat, so im not sure I'll be able to, let alone actually prepare food!

Have you managed to not drop any hints to your mum? Do you have a book/app to see how baby is progressing?

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

That sounds like a good plan so u can see a bit of the carnival. It will be lovely when she is older and u can take her.

Ive booked my appointment and its on 27th November so I've got 3 weeks to wait! I will be 9 weeks by then.
I haven't told my mum as we would like to wait til Christmas day if everything is well. And we will just talk about it constantly if she knew. I haven't got any pregnancy apps or tickers this time. It was hard having to delete them last time so im scared to get any again.

Its good that your mum is helping out a lot. Total opposite to how it seemed she might be with the holiday and everything. Such a shame u went through all that sadness and tears in your pregnancy but im glad it has worked out well for u. 

Nice that u will be meeting up with the other new mums and going to classes. What were there birth experiences like? Were there any worse than yours? 

Can't believe Lottie is one month already!!!! 

Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

P.s im going to ring up last min to change my fs appointment. Im going to get it rearranged which will now be in the new year and then ive still got it if all this goes wrong.
Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Good idea re rearranging appt. I'm sure you won't need it, but you not want to have to go back to the start of the queue. 

Out of 8 of us, 1 woman had a normal, drug free birth. 3 had to be induced (4 if you count me, I suppose I was sort of induced). 3 forceps. 2 caesarians. 1 water birth. 2 heavy bleeding (although only mine resulted in blood transfusion). 1 baby had to go into special care, L was under special care. 2 epidurals without c sections. 2 ventouse. We seemed to have most things between us. No 3rd degree tears thank goodness. It was very interesting talking to the other woman who had forceps today - she said she felt traumatised by the birth too. Nice to know I'm not odd for feeling like that.

Sleep deprivation finally took its toll on my driving today - I reversed into a parked car! I've never done anything like that. There were cars on both sides of the road & cars in front of me, so I had to reverse. L was screaming in the back. I scraped the side of the parked car. I was going about 2 miles an hour. The owner then returned & asked for my insurance details. It's going to be expensive as I have a £400 excess, but I can't get too stressed. I have more important things to worry about at the moment. As long as L is ok, that all that matters.

You haven't got too long to wait til your booking in appt, that's good. I hope it will be a proper midwife, did they say it would be? 

Did I tell you about my little Piglet's weight gain? She was 8lb when born, then 8lb 14 at 2weeks 1 day, which health visitor was pleased with. I got her weighed again on Tuesday (4 weeks 2 days) and she weighs 11 lbs! She put on 2lbs 2oz in 15 days! All on breast milk! She is such a piglet. I was shocked, but the HV was impressed. They say you can't overfeed a breastfed baby. I hope they don't change their minds & tell me off. I'm demand feeding which is what you're meant to do. I can't help it if my baby demands a lot!

T is working til 4am today! Ridiculous! Yest he only saw L for 5mins as we went out before he got up. It's a shame for both of them. At least it's nearly the weekend now.

Have you got James tomorrow? Have you watched the Bake off yet? 

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Morning! 

Aww Lottie is doing really well with her feeding! Well done! It must ne hard coz its so demanding but your obviously doing a good job.

Sorry u crashed your car...opps! I hope it doesn't cost too much. I'm so glad u are both ok.

I'm looking after James today but his mum is ill off work in bed. Feels funny coz I feel like im being listened to. 

I hope its the actual midwife this time but I won't know until the day. I was supposed to have the real one last time but there was a stand in from another area. Yes it's not too long to wait. 

Im feeling a bit sickly today. I'm hoping is ms. I know it sounds daft but if I had ms then I'd feel more positive about this. My boobs have got bigger which R likes lol.

I hope T is ok after finishing work so late/early! 

Yesterday we glossed my mums new doors and she hss now ordered her new carpet which is getting fitted next Wed. So pleased that it's nearly done!

R wants to do lots of DIY in our house in the new year lol. We want to move afew door frames upstairs which will make the landing bigger. And we want to move bedrooms because we are in the front bedroom but we would like to be in the back overlooking the garden. I want a bath in our bathroom and R wants to make an en suite in our new bedroom lol. That's a lot of work!!!! 

Hope u are having a good day xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi, how are u? 

Hows L? Doing good I hope.

I'm feeling sick. Don't know if its MS or just something I caught coz a lot of people I know are poorly.

My mum got her new carpet fitted! So her house it very nearly complete. Im really pleased and so is my mum. It all looks great.

I've started a tiny bit of Christmas shopping but still lots to do. I ended up buying things for myself yesterday when I went shopping lol I needed some new boots!!

Hope u are ok. I miss ya xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Just had a bit of blood when I wiped. Totally scared and crying my eyes out. R is at work snd I don't want to bother him as he will just worry too. It was only a tiny bit but im frightened it will turn into more. I rang the hospital and I can go for an early scan next Wed at 3.30pm. Im so scared. I can't lose this baby too x


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Went for my scan yesterday and saw my tiny baby with a good heart beat. So pleased! 
Baby measured a week behind tho which is now worrying me. Hopefully all will be ok. FX.

How are u?? 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

Sorry I haven't been there for you when you had the scare. I'm so glad you were able to see the baby & the heartbeat! It's an amazing moment isn't it? Did you get a pic? Surely it's too little to accurately measure & date at the moment? Have you researched it? Hopefully it will be fine. Have you had anymore bleeding since?

Did I tell you dr who did my early scan was same dr who delivered Lottie with forceps? Isn't that weird?

We're ok, I just still have no free time. L is still feeding a lot & is still not sleeping much in day (I timed it the other day & she slept for just 2hrs 40mins in total all day! So much for babies sleeping a lot!) She started smiling last week which is the most magical thing! The smiles are still quite rare which makes them extra special!

Need to try & get more sleep now, will try to write more soon. Hope everything's ok with you. xxx


----------



## Pansy

I feel really bad I wasn't there for you. If you have any more scares or need me, Facebook message me. I tend to go stalking on there at night when I'm bored & feeding cos it's easy to go on on my phone. I'll see it then. I so want to continue supporting you & hearing your news.

xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hello,

It's so nice to hear from u. I've missed u loads! I was thinking about sending u a Facebook message but I didn't. I know u are very busy with your demanding baby .

It's lovely that L is smiling!!!

I haven't had anymore blood. The mw said it must of been implantation bleeding as she couldn't see any sign of blood on the scan. Yes she gave us a free photo. The baby is only 8mm and we could see the yolk sac. She said everything looked good. I have been worring about the gestation and been researching. I've read both good and bad stories. Im hoping that it was just too small for her to measure correctly.
I see the mw this Wednesday. 

I hope u are ok. Are u watching im a celeb? 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

8mm is tiny, surely they can't accurately date from that? Can I see the pic? It's so odd we have a pic of Lottie at 9 weeks pregnant, I hope you will find the same one day!

Poor little Lottie has a cold! The dr has prescribed calpol, even though she's technically too young. She is alright in herself, still smiley at times, but a bit clingy/grumpy. I haven't been able to put her down today. She is currently sleeping on T. She sounds v congested poor thing. To make matters worse, our heating wasn't working this AM! Luckily T fixed it when he came home, but the house is still warming up.

Hope everything's ok with you. 2 days!

xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello! 

Hope you MW appt goes well & you get a real MW. Let me know how you get on. Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Thank you!

I will update you soon  xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Im back from first midwife appointment. I met my actual midwife this time! She is nice but quite quiet and shy but I prefer that to a loud brash person lol. 
My blood pressure was low but I was trying very hard to breathe slowly and relax fully as I didn't want it to be high lol so don't know if that would effect it. 
Ive got my next appointment with her on 15th January (if I get that far).
Next I need to wait for my scan letter to come in the post. Hopefully my scan will be before Christmas! 

How are u? Started any Christmas shopping?

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

So glad you got a proper midwife. Did she offer you any reassurance? I really hope you get a scan before Christmas too. How many weeks will you be at Christmas? I have no memory at the moment.

I haven't bought any Christmas presents (unless you count what Santa bought Lottie in July!) We've just come back from a garden centre which has lovely decorations, but I didn't get much of a chance to look at them as someone was hungry/grumpy. Her cold is still affecting her, she doesn't seem any better yet, v clingy. I tried to give her calpol again last night but she spat it all out! She did stop crying for a bit & looked at the Christmas lights, so that was nice!

I haven't a clue what to get T or what to suggest he gets me. I have already had the best present ever. Have you done much shopping? What are you getting R?

Are you risking DTD at the mo or does it scare you like it scared me? The dr asked me if I'd done it yet at 6 week check up - I looked at her horrified! Even if there was a second of the day when I wasn't holding Lottie, there's no way anyone is going near that area! Poor T! He doesn't seem to mind though, used to it now. One day...! 

How is your Christmas show going? When is the performance?

Lol at you trying to keep BP low. I always did that. Didnt work that well though!

Any more sickness? Any other symptoms?

xxx


----------



## Pansy

Ps are they using your dates for 12week scan or the new dates from early scan?


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

I hardly know how far along I am myself. I feel all confused. Mw said they go by my last period still until my dating scan as that early scan doesn't count. So based on that im 9 weeks today but not really lol. And going by those dates should give me a scan before Christmas! 

I do feel a bit faint since being told ive got low blood pressure. Don't think it's all in my head as I do feel dizzy. Mw said to drink more but I do drink loads of water anyway.

R got the new xbox which was about £400 so that will do him for Christmas. I will just get him a few cheap things to unwrap. 
Getting another bfp was the best present ever!

I hope Lotties cold clears up asap. I don't want her to be grumpy! I want her smiling again!

We have been dtd but not very often. U will probably do it when u are ttc baby number two! 

Hope u have had a good day xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Had some more spotting this morning. Its like tiny bits of brown stringy stuff....sorry. I rang the EPU and am going for another scan on Tuesday at 11.30am xxx


----------



## Pansy

Oh dear re spotting. But if you have to have spotting, brown is the best type. At least it's old blood. Shame you have to wait so long for a scan. Try not to worry, chances are the worry would be worse for the baby than the spotting. Maybe it's just the baby burrowing in nice & deep? Or you have an irritated cervix? I hope it's all ok. 

Oh dear that you feel faint too. Are you eating ok? Maybe you need more rest? Are you sleeping with all the worry? Don't really know what causes low BP.

Don't mention TTC baby no. 2!! I said to T last night not to rely on their being one & to enjoy every moment with L as if she's our only child. At the moment I can't ever imagine wanting to go through it all again. The heartbreak of TTC, the pregnancy sickness, the birth & even the newborn bit with L to look after as well. I always wanted 2 children, so I hope I'll change my mind somehow. Plus, I'll be even older then, so it might be more tricky (although my mum & her mum had a baby at 40). I just don't want to get my heart set on it. I don't want to go though the longing again. I'm sure you can understand.

L is still doing lots of smiles early in the morning & late at night, she is just a grumpo in between! She didn't go to sleep til midnight last night, but then slept 4 hours (usually its 3). She then slept 3 more, then another 1.5 till we got up at 1030, so it was a good night in the end. I'm off to a post natal discussion group at 12:30. It's always a challenge to get out of the house, but we are currently both dressed & she is having her mid morning snack, so we are on track so far.

Are you watching I'm a celeb? I'm enjoying it this year. Do you think Matthew was faking his fear at the beginning? I think he knows too much about the industry & is definitely playing up to the cameras. I like Vincent from watching Strictly, so I'll be interested to see how he does. I haven't watched last nights yet. 

L just laughed in her sleep. She doesn't laugh when awake yet, but that definitely sounded like a giggle & when I looked down she was smiling! 

Hope you've had no more bleeding. Take it easy. xxx


----------



## Pansy

Hello!

How are you today? Any more spotting? Xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

Hi hun,

Yes im still spotting a bit :-( don't know what to think. If it gets heavier then I will ring the EPU again. Thing is I can't get out of bed today. Im full of flu. I feel absolutely terrible! My throat is killing me and I can hardly breathe!
Last night at dancing I didn't talk at all lol used sign language! 

Im sleeping ok but do need a rest. Maybe my low blood pressure was because I was getting ill? I don't know but I'm going to ask the mw on Tuesday to do my blood pressure again. 

Give it time and u might feel u would like another child one day. If not then thats fine too. I guess the experience clouds your judgement. Some people might have any easy first labour and a bad second. Your second could be easy! But it depends how u feel about going through it all again. It is a tough process! In time u will know what u want.

Im watching im a celeb. That Mathew is so gay I think although he is married! Yeah u could of been faking his fears. I like that model. I don't like Lucy, she is a bit nasty at times. 

How cute the Lottie laughs in her sleep. I love to stoke James back with my fingers very softly so it tickles him and he lays still enjoying it and laughs every now and again. That is so cute! He is one now. Had his birthday last Tuesday. 

Not long and we will of been chatting for a year!!!! 

Xxx


----------



## Pansy

Oh no, poor you, I hope you feel better soon. Sounds horrible! Hope R will be home soon to look after you. Can you take paracetamol? I can't remember. Keep an eye on your temperature as a proper fever is bad for pregnancy. 

I don't like Lucy either. I hate people who make snide comments like she was about Amy. She seems v bitter. 

I hope your spotting has slowed down. Shame you can't ask your mum if she had any spotting.

My SIL has just been round to see L. She's been on hol to America so hasn't seen her for 3 weeks. She says she's looking chubbier! She does have a v round face, but I think it's cute. L seems to be in a happy mood again today. She didnt go to sleep til 1am last night, but then slept for 5 hours, so that was good. I only got 7.5 hours in total though. Some days I can get 9 in 3 lots of 3 hours.

What did you get James for his birthday? We're not getting L a main Christmas present, just little things from Santa, as she won't really care. We can then buy her something in the year when she actually likes things. Unless we think of anything that is! What was James favourite toy?

Hope you're resting lots & drinking lots to flush it out. Hope you feel better soon. xxx


----------



## MrsBroodyPant

I feel sooooo poorly!!! And I feel soooo sorry for myself. 

I got James a talking train off Thomas the tank engine, the red train which is called James . It says "hi im James" and other things lol. He seems to like it. My mum got him a plastic car he likes to ride on. He is still not always interested in the toys, he didn't know how to open his presents and then was more interested in the wrapping paper once it was off lol.

Do u think Lottie looks like u? Or does she look more like T? 
Good idea not to get her much this Christmas as like u said she doesn't even know. 

Hope u have a nice weekend xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

How are you feeling now? Hope you're getting better. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

I still feel really bad and my spotting has got worse too :-(

X


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## Pansy

Oh no! Is it still brown?i really hope you feel better soon and it stops soon. Sending you lots of immune boosting vibes and sticky vibes for your LO. Rest lots, drink lots & try to think positive thoughts.

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u. 

It is still brown but more frequent. Not long til my scan and I will know what happening.

Hope u are ok
Xxx


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## Pansy

Hope you've had a restful day. Can you take paracetamol for your flu? Has R caught it?

We're ok. Went to visit my older brother today. He lives an hour away & we arranged to see him 2 weeks ago. When we arrived today, he was v hungover & hardly talking, making it v awkward. His gf was more talkative, but still. He kept disappearing to text ppl too. Not impressed when he knew we were coming. No prizes for his hosting skills! 

With what I know about his gf's temper, I find it a bit awkward to talk to her. I kept a look out for holes in the wall! My brother dropped some water on the floor while washing up & kept apologising to her. That worried me, that he feels he has to say sorry for a tiny bit of water in his own house!

Suddenly loads of Christmas lights have appeared in our village. We've got a village Xmas tree for the first time this year & it was lit tonight with carol singers, Santa & mulled wine. I had some mulled wine - yum! Do you like it? Do you have a real tree or a fake? We have a real one, we're going to get it next Sat I think. 

Hope you're feeling a bit better. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning! 

It's funny seeing a message from u that has been written quite late at night! Lottie makes u stay up later thsn u used to when u were pregnant 

Im feeling a bit better now. Still going to rest as much as possible but going to work tonight. I've taken some paracetamol. R hasn't caught it yet, hopefully he won't. 

We have a fake Christmas tree but it is a very expensive one that practically looks real. Worth spending the money on it we thought as it should last u a long time! And it has lights already on it so Im happy I don't need to put lights on coz thats the annoying part lol. 
Lots of people near us put their decs up yesterday. I will put ours up once I feel better. 

Im still spotting! See how my scan goes tomorrow. 

I don't like mulled wine  lol
And I don't like Christmas cake! Do u?

I hope your brother is ok with his gf. U must worry about him.

Hope u managed to get plenty of sleep
Xxx


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## Pansy

Glad you're feeling a bit better. Be v careful at work tonight & don't go if you feel any worse. Your health is more important than work.

How can you not like Christmad cake lol? My dad and I eat it with cheddar cheese. Everyone thinks that's really odd but he says he learnt to when he lived up North, so maybe that's where it's from? Have you heard of doing it?

I like mulled wine but I don't like normal wine, so I'm v odd!

My sleeping is the opposite of when pregnant. Now I'm awake late feeding & have lie ins (having woken loads before). Today the postman woke me at 11! We had been down to have breakfast and gym time at 8 though. 

Having a pre lit tree is v cunning, I hate untangling the lights! You'll have to send me a pic of your tree when it's done. We buy a special ornament for the tree every year. This year I've bought a glass bauble that is engraved with L's name & date of birth. It arrived this morning. I hope it will be a keepsake for her. We also try to buy a decoration when we are abroad & other people have too. We have decorations from 7 counties now, 8 if you count Wales! 

Hope you continue to feel better. And hope you're not feeling too anxious about your scan, although I know it will be impossible not to worry. I'm keeping everything crossed for you. 

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Aww the bubble for Lottie is a cute idea. I'd love to do that! Yes I will send u a tree pic when I put it up . I also put fake presents under my tree which are wrapped up in my living room wallpaper so it all matches lol. 

Yes up here everyone eats their Christmas cake with cheese! You are right . I like the cheese, just not the cake and I don't like mince pies either lol. 

I'm about half way through my Christmas shopping now. Have u got much to do? 

I'm really nervous about my scan!

My mum is coming to work with me and going to watch the show dances and get the children to try on their costumes so I won't be alone . 

Worst thing is my cough because nothing will stop it and sometimes I end up being sick! Not good.
Xxx


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## Pansy

That's so cool that you think cheese with cake is normal! I've never met anyone who does before! I told T that & he was amazed that its normal, but said its still a waste of good cheese lol!

Your tree sounds like it will be really classy. Mine isn't at all, it's just random. I will send you a pic too, when we eventually get round to putting it up. T has got the decorations down tonight.

I really hope you get good news tomorrow. I hope you can sleep tonight. What time is your scan? I'll be thinking of you.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Aww I like random Christmas trees better. Mine is too neat and matching. I really need a child who can decorate mine with some tat that they make at school lol. That's what Christmas is really all about.

Scan is at 11.30am. Im really tired so will hopefully sleep well tonight. I hardly slept a wink last night, not from worry, just not tired. 

I will update u tomorrow hun xxx


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## Pansy

Just noticed that you've changed the thread title  When did you do that?

Hope you're sleeping well. L has just had 5 hours woohoo. Woke for a nappy change (& outfit change as she peed when nappy off!), feed, dirty nappy again, feed again. Now just waiting for sleep!

Good luck for today, I really hope it goes well. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank you!

I changed the title last night lol. I can change it again if u can think of a better title.

Have a nice day and I will update soon
Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

There was no heartbeat :-( xxx


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## Pansy

Oh no! I'm so sorry. That's so sad. I don't know what to say. You poor thing. Sending you lots of virtual hugs. Let me know if there's anything I can do & I'm hear to listen if you need me.

xxx


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## Pansy

How are you? Probably a stupid question. How is R? T is just as sad for you as I am, he sends his best wishes too. Will you tell your mum so you can have her support?

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi, 

Thank u.

Yes we told my mum last night but we are choosing not to tell anyone else as its easier on us. We are very disappointed but I don't feel as sad as last time. Last time was more of a shock and a roller coaster. I went in and took the tablet this morning and will go into hospital Friday to have the baby. Cant believe I have to go through this again, it just feels so unfair. I also feel like this might happen to me many times. We are going to get the baby tested to see what was wrong and hopefully get some answers. If its not triploidy then at least I know I have been very unlucky twice but we different things. If its triploidy again then maybe we can talk about getting help. I don't know. 
Such a shame :-(

2013 is a nightmare! !!

Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello

Good luck for today. It's so unfair that you are having to go through this again. I hope it goes as well as it can. I'll be thinking of you. 

I'm glad you told your mum, you need her support. You don't need to tell anyone else, but I know how close you are to her. 

2013 has been a shit year for you, but it's nearly over now. 2014 has got to be a better year for you.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Went into hospital yesterday at 9am. Took 4 tablets and they starting working immediately. Got cramps and Felt sick. Had an injection in my leg for the sickness and it made my leg dead for a few hours! I took codine for the pain. 
I was told that if I hadn't delivered by 5.30pm that I would need to go home and come back tomorrow but I said I can't coz I need to work! Lol. I had a bath and then the pain got worse so I had pethidine. Then I went to the toilet and R put his hand on my tummy and I gave a little push and it came out! We got the idea from last time. This was at 5.14pm so I was pleased I could go home soon. 
The mw checked my cervix and said it was closed so I must of passed everything. We went home at 7pm. 
This morning I went to the toilet and passed a big piece of fatty tissue - so it wasn't all out as ive had a few little bits tonight as well.II've been at work all day and working all day tomorrow as well. Trying to rest when I can. 

This year has been the hardest of my life! R told his mum and dad soim pleased they know but wworried about seeing them. I hope they don't blame me and think I did something wrong. 

Anyway, I hope u are ok and having a good weekend. Have u got your tree up yet? I can't be bothered to do mine. 

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

How are u? Ready for Christmas? Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

Really sorry I've vanished again. L hasn't been sleeping well & I've knackered. 

Just wanted to wish you and R a lovely Christmas. I know it will be sad without your Nan & with the year you've had, but I hope you can enjoy the day & look to the future. 

Did your show go well? Have you put your tree up? We've got about 1/2 our decorations up & have bought some v random presents, but never mind! Trying to get L to sleep now so Santa can come!

Merry Christmas! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Merry Christmas to u and T and a big happy first Christmas to Lottie. 

My show went really well thanks. Yes I put my tree up so I will have to post a pic. I bought two angels for my tree for the babies I have lost. We didn't get round to putting our outdoor lights up this year. 

Have a lovely day. Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

That's such a lovely idea about the angels. Do post a pic, I would love to see. Did you have a good day yest? Did you go to your Mum's? Was James there?

Lottie was a good girl yesterday. We bought her a bouncy chair with toy bars & she seemed to like that. Her favourite part of the day was getting her nappy changed! She used to hate that & scream, now she loves kicking her legs (& peeing, so we have to watch out!). While we ate lunch she sat in her swing chair & shouted at us to look at her! 

How long have you got off over Xmas? Does R have to work today? T goes back tmr. He took 2 days off before Xmas so that was really good. We go to my aunts house today - they'll be 18 of us including 2 babies. 

My little brother has a gf! They've been going out for a month. They rang each other yest- v cute. My older brother didn't ring his gf. She spent Xmas at her parents. She's been v stressed again lately & "flinging things". When she made the hole in the hotel wall in Sep she promised she'd get help but hasn't. My brother seems happy enough but didn't talk re her. I find it strange they spent Xmas apart & didn't ring. I wouldve missed T too much. They've been living together a year. 

L's asleep again so I might get her back into cot. 

Happy Boxing Day! xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Happy boxing day!

I hope u have a lovely family day.

im just chilling out today. Been so busy lately, its nice not to have to go out or be anywhere. R is back at work today, 7am start. He will be tired tonight! It's a shame they have to work at Christmas time. 
I'm glad L was good for u yesterday. We had Christmas at my house & I did the dinner, for the 3rd year now! James came and he was a good boy. 
R got me some nice gifts. I got a lovely watch, earrings and necklace from him. On the evening we went to his families house which was nice. 

It's nice that your brother has a gf. How old is he? I hope your other brother is ok. 

Not long now til 2014! Xx


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## Pansy

Yes, not long til you're rid of the number 13. Do you have plans for New Years Eve? We usually see the same family we're seeing today. They come to my parents house for games & then fireworks at midnight. I don't think we're going to stay till 12 this year!

My brother is 21. He's been wanting a GF for ages, so I'm really pleased for him. 

I've put some Xmas photos of L on Facebook if you want to see them. 

Hope you have a relaxing day. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Aww thats lovely for your brother then. 

I've seen your new Facebook pics. What a gorgeous daughter u have!!

We don't have plans for new years eve yet. We are going for a meal with lots of friends on 30th but no plans for 31st. I do want to get drunk tho but R is working new years day. We might go for drinks in the village. Your new years eve sounds good. I love playing games!

Can't wait for 2013 to end! And get another bfp! 

Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

Hope you enjoy your meal out tmr. Do you do that every year or is it just this year?

Is R v tired? Have you been out sales shopping? We went yest. The street was busy, but the actual shops weren't that bad. 

Have you been affected by the storms ee've been having? We've had a bit of flooding round us & our swing seat keeps being blown over, but otherwise not too bad. I can hear the wind blowing again now. 

What did R get you for Xmas? T got me a bracelet, a keyring & a photo frame. Normally we buy lots of little presents (but have a £50 spending limit), but this year we just bought a few. It was less stressful that way. It's his bday in Jan -I've got to think of something for then. I can't believe he will be 1/2 way through his 30s! 

Hope you're still doing lots of chilling. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

Yep I've been doing lots of relaxing. Feeling a bit down at times too. The meal is tonight and im a little nervous about going because everyone has children and it will be the hot topic. One friend is pregnant and I don't want to see her. Sorry if I sound nasty but im hurting really bad. I just can't see children in my future anymore and I am very jealous. I'd prefer not to go tonight but R will be with me. We usually go out this time of year because some friends of ours come home from Australia for Christmas so we all catch up in a big group. 

I've been sale shopping and got a dress for £7. Couldn't find anything else I liked lol. 

For Christmas R got me perfume, earrings & necklace, and a watch. He spent more than we usually do but I do need cheering up. I got him shoes and clothes. 

What date is Ts birthday? X


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## Pansy

Hello!

How was the meal? I hope it was better than you were expecting. It doesn't make you sound bad, it's understandable. I felt like that last year & I hadn't even been through your losses. There's no reason to totally believe you won't have children yet tho is there? Have you had the results of the tests to tell you why you suffered your latest loss? Remember my friend from ante natal who suffered many, many miscarriages & now has her baby. It's horrible to think she had to go through all that, but she got there in the end. You're bound to feel dreadful after your most recent loss, not just because of what happened but also cos your hormones will still be all over the place. Be as kind to yourself as you can as you heal, try to take each day at a time & just allow R to look after you. 

Is it stormy there again? Its v windy here. Our gate has blown open twice over night. It bangs against the bedroom wall & has to be shut or it will break. At 130am I woke T up to go & shut it. I was too scared! I read this stupid thing on Facebook about distraction techniques baddies use to attack you, like turning your hoses on to get you to go out & I was worried it was that! What a wuss! It was a silly American, the whole worlds out to get you thing, I shouldnt have read it!

Have you and R decided what you're going to do tonight? We're going to come home from my mums party at 8 & see in the new year in bed. First time we've not been out at midnight. The party is starting at 3 so we should still have time for games. T got up at 430 - I wonder if he'll still be awake at 12.

Hope you have a lovely evening & v best wishes for 2014. Hope it's a much better year for you. My friend who's 1/2 Italian told me Italians wear something new on new years day for good luck. I did that last year & will now do it every year. Maybe you should do it too? It can't hurt. I'm going to wear some socks I got for Xmas. 

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Morning! 

The wind has been really bad here too. Our back fence has blown completely down! We can now see straight into the garden behind us which is massive so makes our garden look bigger lol. 
There is so much rubbish on Facebook but I would if been scared to go out in the middle of the night too, especially in the wind because it sounds frightening. I laughed when I read 'baddies' lol just reminds me of what a child would say. I like that word!

The meal went ok. I sat at the opposite end of the table from the pregnant friend and R was opposite me. Jodi was next to me and knows about my latest loss so helped me through the evening. Even her husband Mr insensitive has become much more sensitive!


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## MrsBroodyPant

Continued....I had to post the above because for some reason it wouldn't let me scroll down anymore.

The food was really nice and I had some wine. I don't drink much anymore and this morning I have a bit if a headache. I can tell I've had wine! It feels like last night was new years eve. I can't cope with going out tonight as well lol. 
I will wear something new on new years day...probably socks like you 

R has gone to work now so im alone all day. I really need to tidy up and sort the house out but don't know if I will actually do it. 

We haven't got any results yet. I need to make appointment which I will do in the new year. I have a good feeling about 2014.

I hope u enjoy celebrating in bed! I think u should dtd at midnight lol. 
Have a nice evening xxx


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## Pansy

Ps T's birthday is 11th. It's creeping up on me. Must buy something! Your Xmas presents sound nice. What are the earrings & necklace lke? xxx


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## helloeveryone

Just been reading this thread, lovely to see friends sharing good times and bad times xx
Mrsbroodypants hope 2014 brings you a baby for you.xxx
AND pansy injoy lottie they grow so fast xxx

Mrsbroodypants and pansy happy new year to you both.


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## Pansy

Hello again!

I didn't see your reply when I posted my ps. Oh no re your fence, but bonus re the extra long garden! Just tell everyone it's yours!

Lol re dtd the deed at midnight - it will be a miracle if we're still awake! We still haven't done it, we've probably forgotten how!! It's only in the last couple of days that I've started to feel like I wouldn't break apart if I did it. Knowing there were stitches down there is scary! 

Glad your meal was ok & amazing that Mr Insensitive is becoming more sensitive. Do you think Jodi had a word?

Does R have to work tmr too? I think our husbands work too hard! Poor things! 

L watched some of Mary Poppins yest! She was fascinated by it! I love that film. When I was changing her this morning I sang Let's Go Fly a Kite to her & she smiled lots. 

Hope you have a good day. xxx


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## Pansy

Gosh, helloeveryone, that must've taken you a long time!

Happy New Year to you too.


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## MrsBroodyPant

Thank u helloeveryone! 
Happy new year to u too! Xxxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

My mums birthday is 2nd January and R mums birthday is 7th January. They are also the same age, both turning 63 this year! I don't like to see my mum get old (or Rs mum).

yes I think maybe Jodi has talked to Mr insensitive. I've told Jodi everything and cried in front of her a few times so she understands how I'm feeling. I always put on a brave face and smile and laugh like usual in front of most people so others probably think im 'over it' or it doesn't bother me. I cried loads to my mum yesterday because I didn't want to go out for the meal but I'm glad I went.

yes R is working tomorrow! They certainly work hard .

I'm glad Lottie likes mary poppins! I love it . I've done a lets go fly a kite duet at dancing a few years ago and just opened my show with a medley from mary poppins. It went really well in my show and it looked like mary was pulling big objects from her bag too!! 

My necklace & earrings look like diamonds and are in the same cut as my engagement ring! But they aren't real diamonds or it would of cost a fortune lol. My watch it DKNY with two little diamonds on, I love it. 

I still haven't done any tidying yet xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Happy new year! Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

How is 2014 going for you so far?

Are you watching CBB? That Louisa was a trollop on the Apprentice, I expect she will be again on this. The house looks cool. 

Have you dechristmasified your house? We took most of our decorations down today. We had the worst tree ever. It was v fresh as we chose it & it was cut down for us, but we probably didn't water it enough so it lost 90% of its needles! All the branches drooped & the decorations fell off! It looked such a state! Our carpet was literally green where it was thick with needles. I'm so glad to have got rid of it!

L has a bit of a cold today, although she's v happy. She scared me last night by screaming lots & refusing to feed from one side. T was at work til 6am so that made me extra scared. Luckily she went to sleep eventually & fed from both when she woke at 3am. Maybe she had ear ache?

Hope you're having a good weekend. xxx


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## Pansy

Were you a bit drunk last night, young lady??! Lol! Hope you're not too hungover today!

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Lol yes I was very drunk last night! I've felt very hungover today. A Sunday lunch and a Chinese tonight has helped but now ive got a migraine. It was a fun night out tho, so worth it! I really needed a good laugh and feel a lot better for letting my hair down.

we took our Christmas decs down on Saturday. ..opps I forgot to take a photo to show u! I will do it next year . Sorry to hear your tree was very droopy, that's a shame. 

2014 is ok. I found out one of my best friends is pregnant with her second child and is due in July when I would of been due. That is very hard for me but obviously I just need to get on with it. 

Im cd31 since miscarriage so just waiting to see what happens. 

I'm watching celeb bb. Feel like we have watched a few reality shows now whilst we have been friends .

Very windy here again. We got our fence repaired so hopefully it won't blow back down tonight, FX.

how is L now? I hope she is happier?

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

P.s the big brother house has my living room wallpaper! X


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## Pansy

Glad you had a good night, you definitely deserved to have some fun. What did you do? (do you remember?! Lol!)

Which wallpaper is the same as yours? The living room? I've only watched Friday's episode so far. Do you watch Sherlock? We watched yests episode tonight. I've never seen the appeal of Benedict Cumberland/patch (?) before, but he seemed quite dashing, for want of a better word, in that episode!

T's car didn't start this morning so he had to borrow mine. A colleague at work has told him re a good car locally, so he's considering that. Only thing is, it's a civic, so we'd both have small cars. I don't know if we need a big car or not. We're managing with my car at the mo. the pram fits ok. 

Shame your friend is due in July. Hopefully by then you will be pregnant again so it won't be so hard. 

Did your fence survive? Where my parents live is on a hill & there's flooding on both sides - it looks like they live on an island! It actually used to be an island thousands of years ago. If you see anything on the news about the Somerset levels being flooded, that's near here. It was on the itv news tonight. 

L's cold seems ok now. I could barely notice she had one today. She didn't have a v good night tho. Between Xmas & NY she was sleeping 5hours in a row most nights. Lately it has gone back to 3. I'm really achey today from tiredness. I hope it's not her cold!

Do you still look after James on Tuesdays? Hope you have fun if you are. xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

We went out with friends into our village when we got very drunk. I was just dancing about lol. It was so much fun.

I don't watch Sherlock but my mum does. She really likes it. Have u watched more bb? It's terrible! What a horny house! These celebs are shocking me lol. The wallpaper which is mine is in their living area and up the stairs to the diary room. Theirs is purple and mine is gold but its the same print! Also their bedroom paper is the same print as my brothers living room except on bb it is pink and my brothers is cream. 

I was looking after James this morning. He is starting to walk now and can take 4 steps! He talks a bit more too. 

I hope T can get his car fixed or a new one. I don't know much about cars lol. But a small car is ok. My mum only ever had a small 3 door car with 3 children! 

How is the wind & floosing near u? Sounds bad where your mum lives. Our fence is still standing!!! 

I started back at work last night so am aching this morning lol. I bet the children are aching because I had them sat in the splits for 10 mins! Lol.

I'm glad Ls cold is getting better. I hope she sleeps better. 

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hi,

How are u??

I went to my FS appointment on Monday. We have been put on the waiting list for IVF. While we wait we are going to try naturally fora couple of months and then two more months of clomid. Been told that clomid can cause cancer if it is used too much. Hoping to get pregnant asap and not need ivf but otherwise it looks like ivf for my 30th lol.

hows Lottie?

Xxx


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## Pansy

Hello!

Long time again, sorry! I don't know where the days go!

That's good re the ivf, at least it's something proactive. I know its not ideal, but at least they are doing somethinb. Is the wait just 6 months? Oh dear re the clomid & cancer, that's not good! Are you only allowed a few more months then?

What else is happening in your life? I don't like not knowing, it seems odd! 

We've had a v stressful couple of weeks. T crashed his car at 5am in fog last week. He was fine, but car is a write-off. He hit a concrete post. I've always worried about him crashing on way to work. We've had to deal with insurance - they offers us £15 for the car as its a T reg! Ridiculous! Now we're trying to get more by scrapping it ourselves. We've only had one car which has been v tricky. We have had to drive miles to look for a new car, which is not easy with Lottie. She has been v good & slept as we've done test drives, but I didn't like not giving her attention. We searched for 4 days in a row & eventually found one. Now we're just waiting for finance so we can buy it! So stressful making big decisions on v little sleep! T is sad to say goodbye to his car. He's had it since 2002. It was the love of his life before me!! It's sitting on the road outside our house looking in a v sorry state. We just want it gone now, but scrappers aren't coming til Thurs.

My friend from Glasgow is coming to stay for the weekend so we've had the stress of trying to clean the house too. I'm dreading her coming down - I feel too tired to entertain & it's hard to do anything with L. I don't like the idea of someone being here constantly, possibly judging me as a mother. I'm sure I'm worrying over nothing tho. It will be nice to catch up with her & maybe a chance is as good as a rest!

L has had a cold since last Fri & T & I have got it now, so that's not helping. Don't feel too bad, just a bit achey. 

I really hope 2014 is going better for you so far. It seems more unlucky than 2013 to me so far, I hope it's the opposite for you.

xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

Hello!

Sooo lovely to hear from you! I've missed you! 

It's a year ago today that we both found out we were pregnant! Gone so fast...yet so much has happened since! 

How are u? I'm glad Lottie is sleeping well but sorry u have all got cold. It's not good timing with your friend staying. I hooe u have a lovely weekend together. What have u got up to? Hope Lottie is onher best behaviour lol.

sorry about Ts car! I remember you saying it was the love of his life. He must be gutted. It's good that u have found a replacement. I hope T can love it just as much!

IVF waiting list is a few months long so am waiting for a letter once we hit the top. We got test results back from my miscarriage and the baby was a boy who also had triploidy. We have been told again that its bad luck and no reason why our next pregnancy wont be healthy but I find it very hard to believe. IVF can't even rule iut triploidy but can give u a good chance of a healthy baby because they can choose the best looking eggs & sperms. It is worth a go but we are trying naturally at the moment because according to my temps I ovulated by myself last month. I'm going to use opks and see what happens. Maybe clomid is causing triploidy! Docs say it won't be but I can't help blaming everything I do lol. 

Dancing is going well and im really enjoying looking after James! 

We are starting DIY on our house now lol. We like to punish ourselves I think 

Xxx


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## MrsBroodyPant

It's one year ago today since we started this thread! Happy anniversary to us 

Xxx


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