# Discussion with 7 year old "why we wash our bodies"



## Ckelley

So, I've explained this to her before in generic terms. But tonight she was asking for specifics. 

Her "but why?" 
Me "it's important to stay healthy and so that you do not smell bad." 
Her "why would you smell bad?" 
Me "didn't you tell me a boy in your class always smells like poop?" 
Her "Yes. It's gross." 
Me "do you like to play with him?" 
Her "no" 
Me "well if you don't wash you will smell like a dirty vagina" 
Her "you just said a bad word!" 

Anyway... She decided to wash.


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## JASMAK

Ckelley said:


> So, I've explained this to her before in generic terms. But tonight she was asking for specifics.
> 
> Her "but why?"
> Me "it's important to stay healthy and so that you do not smell bad."
> Her "why would you smell bad?"
> Me "didn't you tell me a boy in your class always smells like poop?"
> Her "Yes. It's gross."
> Me "do you like to play with him?"
> Her "no"
> Me "well if you don't wash you will smell like a dirty vagina"
> Her "you just said a bad word!"
> 
> Anyway... She decided to wash.






Wow... Not sure what a 'dirty vagina' is, never mind smells like. I think BO is the term that is more commonly used, which is nothing to do with vaginas. Besides possibly smelling...how about germs? People need to wash off bacteria, dirt and germs. Plus, it is just nice to feel clean.


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## Rachel_C

Vaginas are self-cleaning!


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## Ckelley

I've tried all manner of other terms. I've showed her photos of bacteria . She has had multiple UTI's. We use the correct medical term "vagina", it's not taboo. It was not said in a mean or rude way, just matter of fact. She has multiple leaks throughout the day and the odor of urine and unwashed "bo" can be an issue if not delt with everyday. 

I only shared because the exchange was very cute in its own way. Not mean. I guess I did not express that correctly. She is a very logic driven and precise child. Honesty, even crude honesty is the only way she will accept information. 

Sorry if it was offensive to you, she took the information (quite a bit more than I typed) and processed it and made a choice. Sometimes you just have to lay it out there.


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## JASMAK

Personally, its not something I would teach my daughter, or my son, for that matter. That their privates are dirty and smell. Even *if* they did. Also, they boy you are talking about that 'smells like poo'....maybe he has a colostomy bag, or perhaps crones disease, or another disease, but you have made it perfectly acceptable to your child that people who are different, don't play with them. Honestly, I am having a difficult time seeing the 'cute' factor in any of this. I find it very sad.


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## Eternal

JASMAK said:


> Ckelley said:
> 
> 
> So, I've explained this to her before in generic terms. But tonight she was asking for specifics.
> 
> Her "but why?"
> Me "it's important to stay healthy and so that you do not smell bad."
> Her "why would you smell bad?"
> Me "didn't you tell me a boy in your class always smells like poop?"
> Her "Yes. It's gross."
> Me "do you like to play with him?"
> Her "no"
> Me "well if you don't wash you will smell like a dirty vagina"
> Her "you just said a bad word!"
> 
> Anyway... She decided to wash.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Wow... Not sure what a 'dirty vagina' is, never mind smells like. I think BO is the term that is more commonly used, which is nothing to do with vaginas. Besides possibly smelling...how about germs? People need to wash off bacteria, dirt and germs. Plus, it is just nice to feel clean.Click to expand...

I agree with this. 

Also it's not the word vagina that is the issue, it's the fact it's also used incorrectly, if you are talking about leaking urine then that has nothing to do with her vagina. 

I would just talk about smells and hygiene, that being dirty can make you sick.


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## lhancock90

I think its good you had the conversation and she decided to wash, but i do think you went about it in the wrong way.


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## Sprite2011

Whatever you do you will always find people who disagree with how you do things, but at the end of the day she's your child and you know how she reacts to things. I may not have done it exactly the way you did (am not at that stage yet still washing lo with minimal input from her except trying to get as much water on the floor as possible!!) but I would never criticise someones parenting style unless it is dangerous and the way you handled it was definitely not dangerous!!


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## RinnaRoo

Stop it!! Your vagina, labia, lady parts in general CAN smell if its not washed! Your genitals will not clean themselves to smell fresh and clean. I don't care who said that, cause in my brain, its not true. Vagina is NOT a bad word, both her and her daughter have one. She did what was appropriate for her as a parent to a daughter. 
It doesn't effect you or anyone else's daily life, so stop being a judgemental snob. 
Geeze.


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## cookette

Good grief....I'm sure you ladies say things in your homes that we would all be aghast and roll our eyes about. Who cares if that's not how it would go in your home?? Its how the OP is raising HER kids. I get so sick of the parenting attacks!


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## Noodlebear

RinnaRoo said:


> Stop it!! Your vagina, labia, lady parts in general CAN smell if its not washed! Your genitals will not clean themselves to smell fresh and clean. I don't care who said that, cause in my brain, its not true. Vagina is NOT a bad word, both her and her daughter have one. She did what was appropriate for her as a parent to a daughter.
> It doesn't effect you or anyone else's daily life, so stop being a judgemental snob.
> Geeze.

Cringe at this reaction!

Anyway - If you were talking about washing her vagina obviously a valid reason is that people sweat which smells etc. The vagina is self cleaning but so is hair - I'll still teach any child of mine to wash both! If you were talking about washing in general I think it's pretty inappropriate that you told someone they will smell like 'a dirty vagina'.


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## Rachel_C

I'm confused though - you're not washing her vagina, surely? Douching is a really bad idea. Yes clean the external genitals but you absolutely should NOT be cleaning the vagina of an adult or a child unless there is a problem and a medical professional has told you to. Anybody who says the vagina needs cleaning needs a lesson in modern hygiene. The vagina IS self-cleaning, whether you choose to believe it or not.


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## Noodlebear

People often make the mistake as referring to it all as a 'vagina', I'm assuming that's the case here as I can't imagine someone trying to teach their daughter to douche! (I hope not anyway)


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## ToughhGal

I am not a mummy yet but I do babysit (also, clean houses and tutor) as a job and pop over here for advice. I think she was referring to her child not washing anything properly (and let's face it, children have a tendency to wipe the wrong way or in a half way manner) causing odor. There also has been many girls, even toddlers, have foul odors from that general area due to various reasons. Private areas, no matter how young, have to be maintained.

While her statement might have not been flattering to some of you, I don't think it is necessary to gang up on her. No parent is perfect and bound to say something other people might not.


As for the little boy statement, it was not the best or nicest example but an example of why we should wash our bodies. Again, no parent is perfect. I'm sure she doesn't tell her little girl who to be friends with and instill harsh behavior into her.


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## Noodlebear

My point of view has little to do with parenting and more to do with the fact that telling anyone they'll smell like 'a dirty vagina' is an awful thing to say. It just sounds like an insult.


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## ToughhGal

Well I shared my opinion. If you want to continue on and on, go ahead. At the end of the day, it is her child. Have a good day! :D


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## messica

If in the grand scheme of life the worst thing you do is tell your child that by not keeping up with proper hygiene she will start to smell like a dirty vagina, well......props to you op lol. 

We are a blunt, politically incorrect and often times "indelicate" family when it comes to our interactions with each other. Life is too short, we laugh a lot here and I could see myself saying something similar (although I'd probably choose something more along the lines of "sasquatch" or "warthog butt in the still and dead of summer"). I get it. And if it got the point across with her no worse for wear, who cares what anyone else says about it.

Being an elementary aide for a number of years I salute you for your non complacency. I'm sure her teachers and other caretakers are quite grateful you got the point across now as opposed to waiting until she hits her teens or beyond :thumbup:


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## JASMAK

_1. The vagina is a self-cleaning organ. Its own lubrication ensures that it stays clean and healthy, with little outside assistance. The addition of a douche can actually imbalance the natural ph of the system so much that irritation and odor can may result. And while we&#8217;re at it, you don&#8217;t need to use soap inside your labia at all&#8212;washing the outer labia with a gentle soap and letting running water and a gentle cloth take care of the inside bits will keep them sweet and peachy, without the irritation and skin damage that soaps can cause.
_
https://www.divinecaroline.com/self...s-you-probably-didn&#8217;t-know-about-vagina

So...for those who think you smell....down there...perhaps because you are washing it. The more you wash, the more you smell. I never have odour. I shower daily, bath most nights too.....never wash my labia/vagina...never my girls either. Just a swish of water.


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## stephx

If my mother told me I smelt like a dirty vagina, I would take it as an insult.

I think there are much nicer ways of telling your child they need to wash


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## BigLegEmma

Ckelley said:


> I've tried all manner of other terms. I've showed her photos of bacteria . She has had multiple UTI's. We use the correct medical term "vagina", it's not taboo. It was not said in a mean or rude way, just matter of fact. She has multiple leaks throughout the day and the odor of urine and unwashed "bo" can be an issue if not delt with everyday.
> 
> I only shared because the exchange was very cute in its own way. Not mean. I guess I did not express that correctly. She is a very logic driven and precise child. Honesty, even crude honesty is the only way she will accept information.
> 
> Sorry if it was offensive to you, she took the information (quite a bit more than I typed) and processed it and made a choice. Sometimes you just have to lay it out there.

Hehehe I thought it was cute; I was a 'but why' child and that's how I learned. We used correct terms for things (medical family!) and I will be with my daughter (if she ever decides to come out!) :)


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## Camlet

JASMAK said:


> Personally, its not something I would teach my daughter, or my son, for that matter. That their privates are dirty and smell. Even *if* they did. Also, they boy you are talking about that 'smells like poo'....maybe he has a colostomy bag, or perhaps crones disease, or another disease, but you have made it perfectly acceptable to your child that people who are different, don't play with them. Honestly, I am having a difficult time seeing the 'cute' factor in any of this. I find it very sad.

I have to agree with the part about the boy smelling like poo. I have a son who has a missing chromosome which causes him to have lots of problems which include bowel problems, he literally leaks constantly & can not control it at all so it breaks my heart to think of any parent/child talking about my son this way tbh no matter what the reasoning :( xx


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## messica

Camlet - you make a completely valid point.



I think several others here though have become far too obsessed with a single phrase a stranger said to their child in jest. You weren't there. You don't know the OP. You aren't in and around their family to be able to judge whether she's a terrible mother for saying what she did or not. Not everyone is going to believe the same things you do or raise their children the same way you do. 

Saying you're not a fan, peachy, but how this turned into a three page lecture/attack on female anatomy, parenting style and douching I haven't a clue.

Most if not all of us here have a vagina. Most if not all of us here know exactly how it works and why. Rest assured, we get it. We just don't choose to go on and on and on about what is biology 101 :dohh:


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## cookette

Messica, I'm beginning to feel like you're minion, because you always comment back on a post so eloquently and Im left saying "Yeah! What she said!"

Camlet, good point, thank you for reminding me to be more mindful of situations like your sons. Its easy to be judgemental and not rationalize :flower:


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## messica

The feeling is mutual cookette! :flower:


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## JASMAK

Messica .. haven't you replied more than anyone? You aren't a saint for having an opposite opinion. I am assuming the op posted for a reaction. .. she got it. You are contributing to the drama too... don't fool yourself


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## messica

JASMAK said:


> Messica .. haven't you replied more than anyone? You aren't a saint for having an opposite opinion. I am assuming the op posted for a reaction. .. she got it. You are contributing to the drama too... don't fool yourself



Ummm.....no?

I responded to the OP once. Didn't feel the need to keep beating the proverbial dead horse by continuing to say the same things over and over and over again at her (things she never even mentioned, about douching and the like....where did all that even come from????) :shrug:


I don't at all think the OP was trolling for an attack. The way I read it she was looking for a giggle because she thought it was a silly exchange between her child. Notice how when a choice few went off the deep end about things unrelated she tried to defend herself and then left the conversation? That's not someone who was simply looking for a reaction.


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## lhancock90

Honestly this thread is pretty tame. I've seen much worse.


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## Abigailly

That comment about the 'boy who smells like poo' upsets me immensely. 

Why would you bring that up? You've just justified everything your child thinks about him. Yes, he may smell of faeces (medical term, you use them?), however as a medical family surely you are teaching your child about the potential cause of this rather than justifying her not playing with him because of his smell?

My poor nephew is 6YO and has awful Crohn's. He suffers awfully for it and when going through a bad patch does have bowel incontinence. The thought of an adult justifying it as a reason to be excluded breaks my heart. 

As for a vagina, it doesn't get 'dirty, it self cleans, unless of course there is a yeast infection etc? It's an unclean Vulva and surrounding which smells. Not that I'd ever call DD one for not washing.


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## HBGirl

Seriously people. Relax. I cannot believe how bent out of shape everyone has become. Why not save all this venom for people placing children in danger.


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## messica

Abigailly said:


> Not that I'd ever call DD one for not washing.


I'm sure the OP would agree, because she never called her daughter such a thing either :thumbup:


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## lhancock90

messica said:


> Abigailly said:
> 
> 
> Not that I'd ever call DD one for not washing.
> 
> 
> I'm sure the OP would agree, because she never called her daughter such a thing either :thumbup:Click to expand...

Her first post said told her she'd smell like a dirty vagina.


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## RinnaRoo

...Because we all tell our kids to wash their keratinized filamentous epidermal growths when they shower too. 
LMAO!!


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## messica

lhancock90 said:


> messica said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Abigailly said:
> 
> 
> Not that I'd ever call DD one for not washing.
> 
> 
> I'm sure the OP would agree, because she never called her daughter such a thing either :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> Her first post said told her she'd smell like a dirty vagina.Click to expand...


Correct.

***Like a......**** is the key to all of this.

Telling my kids that if they don't wash their pits they'll smell like stinky pits clearly isn't the same as CALLING *THEM* smelly arm pits. Or saying if they don't wash their ears they'll grow nasty potatoes inside them is not CALLING *THEM* a nasty potato.

Having smelly feet does not equate to BEING smelly feet. And thankfully most kids are smart enough to sort out there's a difference between having and being. If they aren't, they're seriously going to struggle in school because this is nothing compared to what they'll hear on the bus, playground and in the classroom :wacko:


I'm raising mine with thicker skin because the world isn't going to treat them like glass, especially when it comes to verbal exchanges. Reading intent and hearing peoples ACTUAL words I think will serve them far better than a bunch of butt hurt assumptions.


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## lhancock90

messica said:


> lhancock90 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> messica said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Abigailly said:
> 
> 
> Not that I'd ever call DD one for not washing.
> 
> 
> I'm sure the OP would agree, because she never called her daughter such a thing either :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> Her first post said told her she'd smell like a dirty vagina.Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Correct.
> 
> ***Like a......**** is the key to all of this.
> 
> Telling my kids that if they don't wash their pits they'll smell like stinky pits clearly isn't the same as CALLING *THEM* smelly arm pits. Or saying if they don't wash their ears they'll grow nasty potatoes inside them is not CALLING *THEM* a nasty potato.
> 
> Having smelly feet does not equate to BEING smelly feet. And thankfully most kids are smart enough to sort out there's a difference between having and being. If they aren't, they're seriously going to struggle in school because this is nothing compared to what they'll hear on the bus, playground and in the classroom :wacko:
> 
> 
> I'm raising mine with thicker skin because the world isn't going to treat them like glass, especially when it comes to verbal exchanges. Reading intent and hearing peoples ACTUAL words I think will serve them far better than a bunch of butt hurt assumptions.Click to expand...

Good for you. I'm raising mine differently :thumbup:


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## JASMAK

@ Messica:

Good effing God...get over it already. We get it! You agree with the OP and you will have no problem telling your daughter that her vagina will smell too. We REALLY dont care!


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## messica

JASMAK said:


> @ Messica:
> 
> Good effing God...get over it already. We get it! You agree with the OP and you will have no problem telling your daughter that her vagina will smell too. We REALLY dont care!


Just add me to your ignore list. I will do the same. You obviously have a problem with me as you've made that quite clear several times before. If you hate me that much, stop following me around.

And you're right. A vagina isn't a sacred word in my house only to be spoken of in a godly light. I will tell (and have) told my daughter that if she fails to properly care for any part of her body there will be natural consequences for that. 


("Good effing God" would be considered far more offensive in our home than referencing the potential smell of an unkempt body part.)


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## RÃ³sa

Just Wow


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## Foogirl

We're blunt, we have to be, but we also teach our daughter about respect for others. Reinforcing the singling out of a child who smells of poo (or anything else) is not something we would do. No matter what the reason be it medical or down to the lack of hygiene it isn't the boys fault. Sure it surprises me someone would talk about their child smelling like a dirty vagina, but that's not what bothers me about the conversation. I'm more concerned that talking like that about another child is really disrespectful.

we have to raise Abby to have a thick skin, but we are also raising her not to sink to the level of others who speak badly of her.


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## ToughhGal

JASMAK said:


> _1. The vagina is a self-cleaning organ. Its own lubrication ensures that it stays clean and healthy, with little outside assistance. The addition of a douche can actually imbalance the natural ph of the system so much that irritation and odor can may result. And while were at it, you dont need to use soap inside your labia at allwashing the outer labia with a gentle soap and letting running water and a gentle cloth take care of the inside bits will keep them sweet and peachy, without the irritation and skin damage that soaps can cause.
> _
> https://www.divinecaroline.com/self/wellness/seven-things-you-probably-didnt-know-about-vagina
> 
> So...for those who think you smell....down there...perhaps because you are washing it. The more you wash, the more you smell. I never have odour. I shower daily, bath most nights too.....never wash my labia/vagina...never my girls either. Just a swish of water.

Sorry to say sweetie not everyone's vaginalmarea is as perfect as yours :)


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## RinnaRoo

So flipping rude!!


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