# Christening gift etiquette?



## KittyVentura

Hi ladies.

I'm a fervent Athiest and I don't tend to go to Christenings for many reasons I won't go into as that is not up for debate or discussion. But BIL and SIL are Christening their 2 babies next month, which we will be attending. 

Can someone tell me, what is the "done thing" with Christening gifts. Do you buy gifts for the small ones like you would at birthday and Christmas (toys, clothes, books etc) or is it normally more like giving them money?

Again, without going into reasons, I am not comfortable handing BIL and SIL money as, sadly, I am not confident it will be used for them (not that they are bad or would take it as such for themselves, but I just think they would rationalise spending it on other things rather than saving etc). If money is the done thing, would it be acceptable to give it to MIL who has opened a grandchild savings account for each child to deposit... And put a note in a card explaining that we have done this? Would that be rude?

Thanks in advance


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## Button#

I gave a little set of books when I went to a christening as I think books make nice keepsakes but the child gets to enjoy them as well.


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## Baby Bell

Im going to a christening next month, I have a friend who makes beautiful rag dolls, I had her make a doll with the wee girls name on it. A nice keepsake.


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## Dragonfly

You dont have to get a religious gift but there are plenty to choose from like frames on ebay that you can even have engraved, very cheap I got my friends some of them. An account is a good idea to as I think child trust fund is gone now. You can get anything clothes, even gift vouchers as many will be getting keep sakes anyway.


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## dollyemi

Has MIL opened accounts in the children's names? If so, write cheques payable to the children and give them to MIL, write in the card that you have given the children a cheque to go into their savings accounts. 
Personally, we are having our baby baptised in July and would rather someone give her money than for her to end up with 3 broth certificate holders! There's absolutely nothing wrong with you giving the money directly to the children via MIL. Having worked in a bank, I have seen many a parent take money out of their children's accounts so I'm all for accounts that are less accessible.


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## SarahP13

Hi, we just had LO christened at the weekend and had all types of gifts (despite me asking for no gifts!)

Traditionally christening gifts are silver- bracelet, money box, photo frame, keepsake box for first tooth/curl etc. 

My favourite type of present is a more modern keepsake gift for example nice books (with an inscription inside from you), silver engraved cutlery (useful and special), plate/bowl/cup set (we've had Peter rabbit, hungry caterpillar & fairies) or a named star (my godmother did this for both my girls)

Lastly there are more every day gifts such as clothes & toys. 

As for money, we had some given to us and will be putting it in LO's bank account. We have accounts for both DDs and put b'day/Xmas money in there when they are given any. If your mil has set up an account then I don't think it would be offensive to pass money straight to her- you could always make out it was to save them the trouble of doing it. 

Hope that helps a little!


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## Bababall

When we christened Darcey she got loads of presents, which I wasn't expecting. She got lots of money boxes (including a Tiffany one - go godmother!), photo frames, books, bible stories, blankets, clothes, toys, cutlery, plates and bowls. Quite a lot of money too, which went straight into her bank account. Id be proud of her bank balance myself! Seems anything goes.


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## lilyd

Personally, I think I could cause offence if you gave money but gave it to somebody else to save it - it really is advertising the fact that you don't trust them!

I would go for a keepsake type gift - I still have the necklace my godmother bought me for my christening x


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## CertainTurton

I recently went to a friends baby's christening and I knew he had loads of toys and keepsakes, Im also not close enough to give money.
So i gave a 'give a gift' card from Oxfam, i bought 'education for 10 children' (i think, something like that) and it cost £10. I just popped it in the card. The parents were delighted because I had made the effort to get a 'gift' but it wasnt MORE toys etc. Maybe thats an idea for you?


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## Leesy

I have never heard of giving money as a gift for a christening. You can get some beautiful non religious gifts too. I had a pretty little money box ingraved for a young girl as her christening gift as I am not religious either.


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## kerrie24

I would go for a silver piggy bank or something along those lines with happy christening day on or something.


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## Noelle610

I think there's a wide range of what's acceptable in terms of price - you can spend as little or as much as you want, similar to a wedding. Money is fine, as are non-religious items. I can't remember my christening, but I got lots of gifts for my first holy communication and quite honestly my favorite was not expensive and not religious - my uncle got me one of those ugly troll dolls and I thought it was so cool :haha: Ah, to be 7 again!


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## fides

like others have said, gifts are not necessary, nor need they be religious. the cutest thing my son received was a stuffed animal - the frames, religious art, books, and other items are nice, but i think the stuffed animal will be appreciated by him much sooner


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## Cat lady

I do not think giving cheques to them in a card with the childrens name on them would be offensive. Just say 'I know so and so has a savings account for them and I thought this would help towards their future'. I would not be offended and havent been offended when people have given us money for our children addressed to them. (In a way its easier!)
I personally would avoid choosing money boxes as a gift, my ds has 8! He never uses them! They are pretty but they gather dust and he cant play with them as they are quite delicate.
I have named stars after my godchildren.
Hope that helps!
xxx


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## Buttercup84

We got quite a range of gifts for DD's baptism including money. I think anything goes nowadays but she got a couple of china mealtime sets which I thought were really nice as they're something she can use as well as being a nice memento. Personally I wouldn't give money to someone else on the parents behalf even with good intentions as I think it could cause friction, i'd choose an actual gift instead.


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## mrsbeano

I don't give Christening gifts. For me, its about stating that you intend to raise that child as a Christian and asking for support for that, not gifts. I certainly wouldn't feel obliged in any way to give a gift. Maybe a childrens bible would be appropriate? 

I baked a cake for my nephew, that was my contribution to the day.


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