# Is it okay to let my preemie fuss/cry...?



## AmandaAnn

My boys were born at 32 weeks and are now 9 weeks 1 day actual, 1 week 1 day corrected. They are home and doing very well. However, my previously laid-back baby Noah has now become fussy as all get-out. Picking him up always remedies the fussiness, as does a pacifier, but he can't always keep the pacifier in his mouth. Eventually I just end up holding him, and when I hold him, he is fine, but as soon as I set him back down, the crying starts again.

I don't think there is anything WRONG with him, as it really is just a whiny fussy cry and not a distressed cry, but I can't hold him all the time, as Caleb needs attention too. Is it okay to let my preemie fuss/cry himself down?

I've done it a time or two and he does seem to get there eventually, after 5 or 10 minutes. 

I don't want to neglect my preemie if he needs something but at the same time I can't give my other baby proper attention, and can't get anything done, if I'm running to pick him up whenever he cries.

Thanks in advance.


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## XxStephxX

I like you am having the same worry so i would be grateful to know what others say on this situation too! Personally i think a lot of it is from them being used to a lot of attention in the NICU but like you i am unsure if you can just leave them crying as i worry about my little ones CLD.

Didnt want to read and run though :)


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## Marleysgirl

I've no real experience of this - if anything, being on NICU got Andrew into the habit of NOT expecting to be held very often or fussed over when he grizzled. 

But have you considered perhaps carrying Noah in a sling, so that he's close to you, but then leaving your hands free for Caleb too? 

Also, do you swaddle? I remember that Andrew got used to being swaddled on NICU and found it reassuring when home. Perhaps when he's in your arms, Noah feels "contained" and safe, and needs that kind of containment when laid down?


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## lozzy21

I second getting a sling, a wrap like a moby or a sleepy baby wrap have no lower weight limit. I think if he's crying and your busy then it's ok to leave him but if your not busy then no, I see needing comfort as a valid need along side being hungry etc.


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## pinkjoelle

I have a fussy girl... she is 7 weeks, 2 weeks corrected... she fusses all the time, doctors says it do to a premature digestive system, after I have done all I can do to confort her I let her fuss a bit, she generaly calms hersefl after a few minutes... but I never let her cry.

I dont think you can spoil an infant..


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## pinkneon

Just out of interest, which pacifiers are you using?? Because if he's not keeping it in it could just be too big? :shrug: My baby used to spit hers out, then I got the MAM ones which are really small and she loved them. They have 2 small sizes 0-2months and 0+. I found the 0-2 are a little smaller, but they're both quite small


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## AmandaAnn

We have several different kinds we've tried...but that's a good idea. I'll look around. Thank you.


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## Foogirl

we let Abby fuss and whinge. Only if it became a full blown cry, did we go to her. We discovered she would do this when she needed to sleep and if we lifted her, it made her worse.


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## Marleysgirl

Foogirl said:


> we let Abby fuss and whinge. Only if it became a full blown cry, did we go to her. We discovered she would do this when she needed to sleep and if we lifted her, it made her worse.

Andrew still does this even now! At night-time he'll go to sleep quite quietly but nap-time during the day? He fusses and whinges like a good'un :)


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## Ashley9603

I have twins and they are so different,one acts like a fullterm baby(They were born in June at 29 weeks)He sleeps well,loves one on one time etc,my younger twin was smaller,has a hard time gaining weight.They spent 2 months in the nicu and I cant help but feel guilty and have been accused by other well meaning parents that I am spoiling them etc,but I feel that I cant get back this time with them when they are older.They are adjusting well,however my younger son is on oxygen and an apnea moniter so I often hold him at will and give him lots of extra attention.Maybe my motivation for ''babying'' them is becasue I feel guilty because I had them early,I feel my body failed them somehow.I dont know,I mean they are pretty well adjusted and all,maybe I should let them cry it out every now and then....I know this probably has nothing to do with the subject,its just not very many moms around here have preemie babies.


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