# Baby is here and still not any better



## gk1701

So my baby boy is here and I remain very disappointed. I feel guilty and so ungrateful.


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## lau86

Oh, I'm sorry. How old is your baby? Could it just be baby blues?


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## Quackquack99

:hugs:


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## jenniferttc1

I agree, could be just the normal baby blues, which you would have either gender. Hormones are just all over the place after birth, but It will settle :hugs:


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## Misscalais

Sorry you are still feeling that way.
Cuddle this little blessing as much as you can, hopefully that might help a bit more. I'd give anything to have another baby we've had two losses this year and 12 mths of trying and as much as I want a girl ( I have two boys ) I just want another baby to love and care for.
The main thing to remember is your baby is healthy and with you it doesn't matter what's between the legs.
It could also be normal 'baby blues' and that could be adding extra to the disappointment you're feeling.
:hugs:


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## pinklightbulb

:hugs:


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## Louise88

Aww Hun so sorry your feeling this way, I agree it could be baby blues, it took me around 6-8 weeks to finally love and bond with my daughter and that was with no gender disappointment! I'm sure the love and the bond will come over time xx


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## Willow87

Aww that must be tough for you both. I really wanted a girl but had a boy. I had terrible baby blues but mainly due to lack of sleep! 11 weeks on and he is just the best thing that has ever happened to me. He is gorgeous and just so in love with me that it makes my heart just want to burst. He is my first so may be different if this is your second third or 4th boy. I hope you two bond soon. <3


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## maybebaby3

:hugs: sorry you feel this way. How long ago did you give birth?


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## gk1701

Misscalais said:


> Sorry you are still feeling that way.
> Cuddle this little blessing as much as you can, hopefully that might help a bit more. I'd give anything to have another baby we've had two losses this year and 12 mths of trying and as much as I want a girl ( I have two boys ) I just want another baby to love and care for.
> The main thing to remember is your baby is healthy and with you it doesn't matter what's between the legs.
> It could also be normal 'baby blues' and that could be adding extra to the disappointment you're feeling.
> :hugs:

Thank you. I'm so sorry for your two losses. That must be hard. I know I'm luck to have my little boy. He just is unlucky to have an ungrateful mother.


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## gk1701

My baby is 5 weeks old now. I'm going to talk to the doctor tomorrow because I think something is wrong. I'm not sure its normal to feel so detached and useless for 5 weeks after the birth.


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## Claire300

Please don't feel like you have done something wrong. You haven't, it sounds like you may have pnd, so please don't beat yourself up like this. You will be absolutely fine you just need to talk to your doc xx
Hugs xxxxxxx


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## Irish Eyes

That instant rush of love you see on the tv isn't real for most people. At 5 weeks I was going through the motions of day to day life. The bonding took a while. See what the doctor says but don't be so hard on yourself. Lots of people without gd feel the same at this stage post partum. Do things to help you bond, share baths, babywear etc. Really hope you feel better soon


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## Rachiebaby24

Speak to your doctor as it doesn't sound like gender disappointment to me - it sounds more than that. Your not an ungrateful mother. You are disappointed in your child's gender not your child - there is a difference. The bonding will come in time trust me - speak to your doctor and have lots of skin to skin. Sod the housework or brushing your hair. Get into bed with your baby and cuddle lots. It will come in time. Are you feeling sad or disappointed? What's the overriding feeling above anything else?


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## babyhopes2010

gk1701 said:


> My baby is 5 weeks old now. I'm going to talk to the doctor tomorrow because I think something is wrong. I'm not sure its normal to feel so detached and useless for 5 weeks after the birth.

:hugs: Sounds like pnd :hugs: get urself to dr and be honest with them,hope u feel better soon x


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## pinklightbulb

You aren't ungrateful, you're just grieving the loss of what you wanted but didn't get :hugs:

Also second talking to your GP about PND :hugs:


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## BabyCleo

i agree with everyone here. its most likely baby blues. dont beat yourself up, your not a bad mum!! cuddle, relax, and speak to your dr. :) <3


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## Bec C

HI hun, maybe pop by the dr and see what they have to say. I too am hoping for a girl but really feel its a boy, sure I saw tackle on the scan screen.

I really wanted a boy on my first and got it, but I still didn't have that surge of love for him, it was my first I had no idea how I was supposed to feel and never had mummy feelings before! I gradually loved him, but there was never a smack in the face wow moment ureka type, it just slowly built up over the yrs, hes 12 now and I love him immensley. On my second I wanted a girl and got it and did have that surge immediately, I have no idea why. I lost my third at 21 weeks and it was a girl which I was desperate for, this time I want a girl, but I think I am going to be dissappointed. I may be depressed too, from losing my baby and then losing my mum a few weeks ago. But in time it will all come out in the wash as my mum used to say,so I will have to wait and see. One day you will love your son, it may take a while to know it, but you love him already, just give your brain time to adapt to the idea you are a mum now xxx


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## Misscalais

Sounds like you might be suffering some PND as well as your GD, did you end up seeing your Dr?
Hope you are OK. Xo


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