# August loss support thread - update on page 55



## Mrsmac02

Hi ladies, 

Quite a few of us in first tri have been posting on the same thread about our losses. 

Thought we could start a thread here to support each other and keep each other updated? 

How is everyone feeling? I'm booked in for pills Saturday/Monday as the wait for D&C was nearly a fortnight and I've 'known' this was a mmc for nearly four weeks but only confirmed on Tuesday. 

That night I started getting some (sorry TMI!) brown mucous which is slowly turning red so might not need to go in at all. 

This is my second mc, first mmc, and I'm feeling pretty bummed as it took us nearly a year TTC to get this far. 

My plan, once this is over, is to try and be healthy and positive over the next three months then see if it's the right time to TTC again. 

Sending lots of hugs and positive vibes to all xx

ETA: didn't mean to preclude anyone with the title of the thread - regardless of when your loss was, hope we can all support each other/share experience/offer advice! Xx


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## beneathmywing

Thanks for making this thread. Ive been really struggling and as much as a shitty situation this im glad we are able to support each other as we are the only ones who really know how we feel.

I was diagnosed with my second BO this week and absolutely gutted. Stopped my FET meds on Tuesday no mc symptoms yet. I am booked in for another scan on Tuesday and will get meds to mc if nothing happens by then. I has a d&c my first BO, but doctor wants to avoid doing another as it was less than six months ago that happened :(


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## mummyof3babas

Can i join? I had surgery on the 29th for an etopic:( i was 6 weeks and it came as a huge shock as i had thr coil in and had just had a somewhat normal period so had no idea i was pregnant but its affected me really bad and i now wish that bean had made its way to my womb and i was still pregnant:( at the beginning the docs thought it was normal pregnancy bleeding.are a threatened miscarriage but after the scan it turned out it was an etopic and my tube had ruptured so had surgery, even though iv physically recovered, emotionally im still struggling although everyday is that little bit easier, im sorry for ur losses ladies xxx:hugs:


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## Sunshine14

I was 10 + 2 weeks pregnant Tuesday (with a scan at 7+2 showing hb and baby measuring perfect dates) and then discharge and cramps Tuesday evening followed by Brown bleeding yesterday morning. I went to A & E yesterday and had a scan which showed baby died at 8+2 weeks and after walking miles to help bring it on I miscarried last night and this morning. It's all been so quick I'm trying to get my head round not being pregnant any more ......


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## beneathmywing

Im so sorry for your loss girls :(


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## Mrsmac02

Sorry you're having such a rough time. It's so awful. 

Sunshine that was so quick - I hope you weren't in too much pain. Personally, things are going really slowly - 4w for mmc to be confirmed due to some growth in that time, spotting started Tuesday and only this afternoon is it going red. Still not significant bleeding though. 

I had a D&C last time, it was a long while ago though. I just didn't want to wait another two weeks knowing I have pregnancy symptoms for nothing. 

I'm hoping it all gets going properly on its own but if not, I'll go in for the pills. 

Such a sucky time :(


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## Mrsmac02

It's so awful how common mc is. I wish so many women didn't have to go through such a horrid experience :flower:


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## Mrsmac02

mummyof3babas said:


> Can i join? I had surgery on the 29th for an etopic:( i was 6 weeks and it came as a huge shock as i had thr coil in and had just had a somewhat normal period so had no idea i was pregnant but its affected me really bad and i now wish that bean had made its way to my womb and i was still pregnant:( at the beginning the docs thought it was normal pregnancy bleeding.are a threatened miscarriage but after the scan it turned out it was an etopic and my tube had ruptured so had surgery, even though iv physically recovered, emotionally im still struggling although everyday is that little bit easier, im sorry for ur losses ladies xxx:hugs:

Oh gosh, so sorry for your loss and everything you went through. I think, even if you weren't actively TTC, it's still just as upsetting a thing to go through. That's such a traumatic thing to go through, I hope you are on the mend x


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## mummyof3babas

Its been a really difficult time but everyday is a tad easier my 3 boys are helping me get through it i think the first couple of weeks were shock i couldnt even cry then one day i just broke:( x


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## joo

I lost my little bean this month too. I was 10 weeks when I started bleeding and scan confirmed baby had died at 8+5. It was one of the most frightening things I have been through. I had an erpc on August 12th and feeling much better now. Still stings when I hear or see someone is pregnant though. 

Sorry all of you ladies have been through this too :hugs: I'm so glad this part of the forum is here because miscarriage isn't really something we get to talk about openly in real life xxx


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## caz_hills

Ladies id like to join.

We have had our second miscarriage this week, our last one was September last year.

This forum has always been amazing at helping me so I'd love to join this group.

I have my second scan on Tuesday but there was no feotus or heart beat so they have told us unless my dates are 4-6 weeks out (I was daily tracking ovulation so I doubt it) I fear the worst - and they have told us to prepare for the worst again.


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## beneathmywing

caz_hills said:


> Ladies id like to join.
> 
> We have had our second miscarriage this week, our last one was September last year.
> 
> This forum has always been amazing at helping me so I'd love to join this group.
> 
> I have my second scan on Tuesday but there was no feotus or heart beat so they have told us unless my dates are 4-6 weeks out (I was daily tracking ovulation so I doubt it) I fear the worst - and they have told us to prepare for the worst again.


I'm so sorry :hugs:


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## hollyrose

Hi, I'm so sorry for all ur losses. I had a scan 2day at 9+2 weeks, no heartbeat. Said baby had died at 8 weeks. This is my 3rd miscarriage. Think I'm still in shock tbh. Have to go in a week to confirm with another scan. Really hoping I miscarry naturally. Sending lots of love to u all. Xo


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## Sweety21

Hi Ladies, 

I really like to join as I don't have anywhere to go. My husband doesn't understand why I am in so much pain. He ust says there was no baby, no heartbeat so, why are you in so much pain. I had Blighted ovum. But, a loss is a loss.
I know he can't express well his feelings, but, atleast I think he should try and understand my anger and resent.

I lost my baby probably at 6weeks because it measured 1.5cm at 7weeks and there was no growth after that. I had a hormone crash yesterday night where I cried all night.

I am waiting till Tuesday to see if things progress on their own if not will go the D&C path.


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## beneathmywing

Sorry girls :(


I wiped a little pink tonight, so wondering if the mc will happen on its own before getting meds Tuesday. I cant get myself to go to sleep as I am terrified :(


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## caz_hills

I would really prefer to miscarry naturally. I don't know why. Last time I had the d and c (or wheat ever it's called now) and it was fine but I bled for ten weeks after so would rather try naturally.

I think people think once you get over the shock it's back to normal. But it's so much more than that. Hugs to everyone x


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## Mrsmac02

I think it's sometime hard for some people to understand how you're feeling, even your husband or partner. As soon as you see those two punk lines, you're super happy! And although there was technically no baby with a BO, you have still gotten so excited about the pregnancy and your baby and what's to come, it's such a blow. 

My husband is fairly sensitive to my feelings, so he has been pretty good the whole time but I think even he is struggling to get why I'm *this* upset. I'm generally quite philosophical about stuff but the hormones, the fact that we tried for nearly a year to conceive and that this baby was so so so wanted, it's all been a bit too much. 

How is everyone doing today? My bleeding had gone red and a bit clotted last night but it's stopped again now. I suspect I'll still have to go in on Monday and it's DS's birthday Tuesday :(


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## Mrsmac02

beneathmywing said:


> Sorry girls :(
> 
> 
> I wiped a little pink tonight, so wondering if the mc will happen on its own before getting meds Tuesday. I cant get myself to go to sleep as I am terrified :(

How are you doing hun? Did you get any sleep? Could you get some painkillers from the doctor, just in case? Thats what I did and I've kept them by my bed so I can quickly take some of I'm sore in the night. Thinking of you xx


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## LoraLoo

Hello ladies, can I join too please? I'm so very sorry for everyone's losses.

We lost our baby daughter Eve very suddenly at home, at 5 days old in 2007. We lost alfie 18 weeks in to the pregnancy in 2012 and we lost Eden 15 weeks into the pregnancy on 17th August this year. 

I was induced and delivered her naturally. We are still waiting on results. We are hoping to ttc as soon as we can.


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## mummyof3babas

Really sorry girls:(
I get the part were no one really understands, thats why i turned to bnb because i dont think anyone who jasnt been through it can really understand how were feeling, it must be so scary for u girls waiting for things to happen naturally are will be going down the surgery route:( i wish u all well and hope this horrible heartache gets a little easier for u very soon:hugs:


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## Mrsmac02

LoraLoo said:


> Hello ladies, can I join too please? I'm so very sorry for everyone's losses.
> 
> We lost our baby daughter Eve very suddenly at home, at 5 days old in 2007. We lost alfie 18 weeks in to the pregnancy in 2012 and we lost Eden 15 weeks into the pregnancy on 17th August this year.
> 
> I was induced and delivered her naturally. We are still waiting on results. We are hoping to ttc as soon as we can.

So sorry for your losses LoraLoo, what a heartbreaking thing to have to go through once let alone three times. Really hope you get some answers soon. 

Sending hugs and positive vibes for when you TTC again x


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## Vicky_92

Hi ladies. I am so sorry for every single one of your losses :(. Can I join in too? I was 6 weeks, and on Wednesday I started bleeding and the next day it was confirmed I was miscarring. We were trying for this baby from February, and we were so happy to see the BFP, and now I feel like my heart is breaking. Big hugs ladies.


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## Mrsmac02

Sorry for your loss Vicky, it's so upsetting. Hope you're not in too much pain. 

I started spotting on Tuesday having had MMC confirmed that morning and it's only now starting to pick up a bit. I'm just waiting for everything to pass and wondering how long it will go on :(


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## amytrisha

Hey ladies.

First of all I'm so sorry for all of your losses nobody should go through this.

Could I join? We found out at our 12 week scan 2 days ago that we've had a blighted pregnancy, we had a MMC 3 years ago but I started bleeding at 8 weeks so to get to 12 weeks no problem then finding out we'd lost baby was such a shock. 
I was dreading medical intervention but I've started spotting today so hoping I can do this naturally before my next scan Wednesday.

Lots of love to you all, think this little group will be good we can all support each other xxxx


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## Mrsmac02

Hi amytrisha, sorry for you loss too. I felt the same way but was keen to get it over and done with, so hoped it happened on its own quickly. Started spotting on Tuesday evening, just after we had MMC confirmed, and it's really picking up today. Have my fingers crossed you won't need medical intervention xx


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## amytrisha

Thank you sweet, you too xx


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## Autumn leaves

Please may I join. Unfortunately Tuesday just gone when I was exactly five weeks I started bleeding very badly and hospital confirmed miscarriage. It's shocking how just knowing you were pregnant for twelve days, how much that little bean can impact you in that time. My head feels ok but my heart hurts.


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## beneathmywing

Mrsmac02 said:


> beneathmywing said:
> 
> 
> Sorry girls :(
> 
> 
> I wiped a little pink tonight, so wondering if the mc will happen on its own before getting meds Tuesday. I cant get myself to go to sleep as I am terrified :(
> 
> How are you doing hun? Did you get any sleep? Could you get some painkillers from the doctor, just in case? Thats what I did and I've kept them by my bed so I can quickly take some of I'm sore in the night. Thinking of you xxClick to expand...


I did get some sleep after calming down a bit. The bleeding picked up, not so heavy yet though. I have some painkillers at home from when I had kidney stones so I can maybe take that if I am in pain.

So sorry to the rest of the girls joining xx


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## LoraLoo

I'm so fed up. It's 11 days now and my tests are still really positive &#128534;


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## Mrsmac02

Oh hun, it's so unfair. I assumed HCG would drop quickly afterwards?


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## LoraLoo

I did too- everything came away. Really annoying. I can't get on with TTC til they go negative as in sure you can't ovulate with hcg in your system? 
Still bleeding on and off too, nightmare.


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## Mrsmac02

Can they scan you to check?


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## LoraLoo

They never mentioned anything about scanning. We're off to Scotland mon-fri, if they're still positive I'll book an appt for when I get back. It's more frustrating than anything. Feel like my body failed me once and now it's not doing what it's supposed to again!


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## beneathmywing

Lastt time after my d&c it took about six weeks for my number to reach zero. It was torture!


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## LoraLoo

Oh crikey- that sounds awful!


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## mummyof3babas

Its taken 4 weeks for my levels to drop completly :( its horrible:cry: i really feel for all u ladies :( huge:hugs: xxxxxxx


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## beneathmywing

Sorry for TMI, just passed what looks like gray peice of tissue, not sure if that could be the sac or lining or what? I just emailed my doctor as I have never done this naturally and not sure what to expect. This sucks!!!!


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## Vicky_92

It really does suck! I have no advice for you as this is my first too. I can't wait for the physical part to be over i.e the blood :(. Every bathroom trip is just a constant reminder and it just breaks my heart. Does anyone know roughly how long it lasts? hugs everyone.


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac02 said:


> I think it's sometime hard for some people to understand how you're feeling, even your husband or partner. As soon as you see those two punk lines, you're super happy! And although there was technically no baby with a BO, you have still gotten so excited about the pregnancy and your baby and what's to come, it's such a blow.
> 
> My husband is fairly sensitive to my feelings, so he has been pretty good the whole time but I think even he is struggling to get why I'm *this* upset. I'm generally quite philosophical about stuff but the hormones, the fact that we tried for nearly a year to conceive and that this baby was so so so wanted, it's all been a bit too much.
> 
> How is everyone doing today? My bleeding had gone red and a bit clotted last night but it's stopped again now. I suspect I'll still have to go in on Monday and it's DS's birthday Tuesday :(

Yeah, I understand. But, it's really difficult for them to express their feelings, especially my husband is not very expressive but, he really care about me alot. 
Anyway, I will have to talk to him when both of us overcome from this shock.


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## Sweety21

Just had a yellowish cm? is it a start?


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## LoraLoo

Vicky_92 said:


> It really does suck! I have no advice for you as this is my first too. I can't wait for the physical part to be over i.e the blood :(. Every bathroom trip is just a constant reminder and it just breaks my heart. Does anyone know roughly how long it lasts? hugs everyone.

I think with my previous loss I bled for around 2 weeks, stopped for 2 weeks then bled for a couple of days, then got Af 2 weeks later.
It was 3 years ago though so hope I'm remembering correctly. I was 18 weeks that time. 
It really is just a constant reminder isn't it?


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## Mrsmac02

LoraLoo said:


> They never mentioned anything about scanning. We're off to Scotland mon-fri, if they're still positive I'll book an appt for when I get back. It's more frustrating than anything. Feel like my body failed me once and now it's not doing what it's supposed to again!

I'm in Glasgow LoraLoo! If you're worried while you're here, the EPU at the southern general hospital would probably see you x


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## Mrsmac02

beneathmywing said:


> Sorry for TMI, just passed what looks like gray peice of tissue, not sure if that could be the sac or lining or what? I just emailed my doctor as I have never done this naturally and not sure what to expect. This sucks!!!!

Me too hun, had strong cramps and lost some really big clots then a big ball of grey ish tissue. I've just spoken to EPU and they said it sounds like the sac and that clotting should decrease going forward and then it'll just be red blood for a while after that. Hopefully that's the worst of it over. Was the most awful sensation and I felt really wobbly afterwards (think it was because I had a big gush of blood shortly before it) x


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## LoraLoo

Mrsmac02 said:


> LoraLoo said:
> 
> 
> They never mentioned anything about scanning. We're off to Scotland mon-fri, if they're still positive I'll book an appt for when I get back. It's more frustrating than anything. Feel like my body failed me once and now it's not doing what it's supposed to again!
> 
> I'm in Glasgow LoraLoo! If you're worried while you're here, the EPU at the southern general hospital would probably see you xClick to expand...

Thank you- I think I'll jot the number down just In case x


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## Mrsmac02

Vicky - I started spotting on Tuesday late afternoon and I think I've passed the sac today. I was doing some fairly vigorous housework to try and get things moving and it seems to have worked. 

Sweety - I had some grey/beige ish stingy cm Monday before I got some brown tinged spotting on Tuesday late on. It went red Wednesday/Thursday and I think I've passed the most of it in the last hour. 

Sending you all lots of hugs, it's really unpleasant xx


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## beneathmywing

Mrsmac02 said:


> beneathmywing said:
> 
> 
> Sorry for TMI, just passed what looks like gray peice of tissue, not sure if that could be the sac or lining or what? I just emailed my doctor as I have never done this naturally and not sure what to expect. This sucks!!!!
> 
> Me too hun, had strong cramps and lost some really big clots then a big ball of grey ish tissue. I've just spoken to EPU and they said it sounds like the sac and that clotting should decrease going forward and then it'll just be red blood for a while after that. Hopefully that's the worst of it over. Was the most awful sensation and I felt really wobbly afterwards (think it was because I had a big gush of blood shortly before it) xClick to expand...


The thing is it was relatively painless, barely any cramps, so I feel like that would be too good to be true to be the sac, but I hope it was, honestly!


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## Mrsmac02

LoraLoo said:


> Mrsmac02 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> LoraLoo said:
> 
> 
> They never mentioned anything about scanning. We're off to Scotland mon-fri, if they're still positive I'll book an appt for when I get back. It's more frustrating than anything. Feel like my body failed me once and now it's not doing what it's supposed to again!
> 
> I'm in Glasgow LoraLoo! If you're worried while you're here, the EPU at the southern general hospital would probably see you xClick to expand...
> 
> Thank you- I think I'll jot the number down just In case xClick to expand...

It's 0141 201 2331. They're really great and will try their hardest to see you that day x


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## Mrsmac02

beneathmywing said:


> Mrsmac02 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> beneathmywing said:
> 
> 
> Sorry for TMI, just passed what looks like gray peice of tissue, not sure if that could be the sac or lining or what? I just emailed my doctor as I have never done this naturally and not sure what to expect. This sucks!!!!
> 
> Me too hun, had strong cramps and lost some really big clots then a big ball of grey ish tissue. I've just spoken to EPU and they said it sounds like the sac and that clotting should decrease going forward and then it'll just be red blood for a while after that. Hopefully that's the worst of it over. Was the most awful sensation and I felt really wobbly afterwards (think it was because I had a big gush of blood shortly before it) xClick to expand...
> 
> 
> The thing is it was relatively painless, barely any cramps, so I feel like that would be too good to be true to be the sac, but I hope it was, honestly!Click to expand...

I had some strong cramps before it but nothing at the actual time i passed it. I've not found the pain bad at all if I'm honest, I think I've been quite lucky. I got a whole box of codeine off the doctor in case it got bad!


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## amytrisha

They should of definitely booked you a rescan for a week or so later LoraLoo, I'd definitely book one when you can xx


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## Vicky_92

Thanks ladies I'm hoping it will be over soon for all of us (the physical part) loraloo I really hope you get a re scan.


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## Sunshine14

Gosh ladies I only posted yesterday evening and I come back today and so many of you have posted. I'm sitting here crying as I'm reading ur posts and I'm so very very sorry for all ur losses each and every one and that some of u are yet to go through it xx mine ended yesterday lunchtime and was a natural loss with 18 hours of contractions, pain and clots and the physical thing is just such an awful thing to go through after emotionally losing a baby. During it I was so irrationally angry with my honey I felt he didn't understand and he thought I was locked in the toilet gently bleeding the loss away - yeah right! I think they just don't get it because no one can comprehend how awful a miscarriage is both physically and emotionally unless u have been through it. That is why this thread is such a life saver xx


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## joo

Loraloo I remember reading your story when I was here trying/pregnant with my first. So sorry for your losses xx

For what it's worth my bleeding was light and lasted only a week after my erpc. You ladies are much braver than I am, I was just too scared to miscarry naturally even though I gave birth with no pain relief!

I wouldn't have a clue what my hormones are doing! I feel ok though, just waiting for AF I guess. Although we are NTNP right now.

Is everyone else wanting to try again asap? My nurse advised me to wait 3 cycles but stressed it doesn't matter, it's only for dating purposes and feeling better emotionally. xx


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## LoraLoo

joo said:


> Loraloo I remember reading your story when I was here trying/pregnant with my first. So sorry for your losses xx
> 
> For what it's worth my bleeding was light and lasted only a week after my erpc. You ladies are much braver than I am, I was just too scared to miscarry naturally even though I gave birth with no pain relief!
> 
> I wouldn't have a clue what my hormones are doing! I feel ok though, just waiting for AF I guess. Although we are NTNP right now.
> 
> Is everyone else wanting to try again asap? My nurse advised me to wait 3 cycles but stressed it doesn't matter, it's only for dating purposes and feeling better emotionally. xx

I'm the opposite- the thought of surgery terrifies me! 
We are going to start Ttc as soon as we can, but I won't lie I feel terrified. 

Is anyone else feeling tired? Hubby finishes work early on Fridays so I came for a 'lie down' at 2pm- only just woke up!


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## Mrsmac02

Yes, I am - I feel utterly wiped this afternoon. I think it's to do with how much bleeding I've had! 

I honestly hope I never have to go through this ever again :( x


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## beneathmywing

Doctor told me to go on iron supplements last time as I bled for weeks. Maybe try that and see if it helps you girls?


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## LoraLoo

Mrsmac02 said:


> Yes, I am - I feel utterly wiped this afternoon. I think it's to do with how much bleeding I've had!
> 
> I honestly hope I never have to go through this ever again :( x

Biggest hugs hun- it's truly horrific. I hope your bleeding slows a little and that you can get some rest too x


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## LoraLoo

Sunshine14 said:


> Gosh ladies I only posted yesterday evening and I come back today and so many of you have posted. I'm sitting here crying as I'm reading ur posts and I'm so very very sorry for all ur losses each and every one and that some of u are yet to go through it xx mine ended yesterday lunchtime and was a natural loss with 18 hours of contractions, pain and clots and the physical thing is just such an awful thing to go through after emotionally losing a baby. During it I was so irrationally angry with my honey I felt he didn't understand and he thought I was locked in the toilet gently bleeding the loss away - yeah right! I think they just don't get it because no one can comprehend how awful a miscarriage is both physically and emotionally unless u have been through it. That is why this thread is such a life saver xx

I'm so sorry you haven't had much support from your OH. I'm not sure I'd have got through it alone. I do think some men can find it difficult to understand not just the physical but emotional pain we go through. I imagine he really doesn't know the best way to support you right now. 
Even though my hubby's my rock there are times I have to spell out what I need from him x


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## mod19

Wow it's so sad that there's so many of us going through this at the same time. I'm scheduled in for Wednesday for a d&c and a surgery to remove a now grapefruit sized cyst on my ovary. She compared it to my ectopic surgeries, so hoping for a speedy recovery. Sorry I haven't read through everything yet. Mrsmac02 I hope your bleeding stops soon and you can go on with your life. I don't have any plans to ttc again anytime soon as dd us only 4 months old. I want to focus on her.


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## Mrsmac02

Oh Mod, as if mc wasn't bad enough. I've had a cyst removed though and it's fairly simple surgery so hopefully you make a quick recovery. 

I'm torn between waiting and trying again soon. Without knowing what the cause was (poor egg quality or hormone imbalance) I'm not sure if I should focus on my health first. 

I'm overweight (about 18lbs heavier than I was when I got pregnant with DS) but I'm already 34. If I leave it too long, I will probably struggle even more. 

I guess I just need to get through this first! 

I'll try the iron tablets, thanks for the tip x


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## Sunshine14

Hi joo I'm freaked out by mc yesterday but I am counting yesterday as CD1 & going to order some ic tests to test out hcg and some OPK's to see if I ovulate this month. At the moment I change my mind hourly as to whether I can keep ttc - at 43 almost 44 my time is definitely running out .... &#128552;

MrsMac for what it's worth hun in my opinion 34 is a spring chicken in ttc terms &#128522;


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## mod19

Hard situation sunshine. But people do go on to have healthy pregnancies in their 40s. My managers wife is living proof. 

And I agree that 34 is still ok yet. I'm almost 30 and not considering myself as running out of time. Pretty sure we're going to go back to ntnp like we did after dd. It took so long for us to conceive her that we honestly didn't think it'd happen so fast though.


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## Mrsmac02

Yup my boss just had her second at 42 and a friend I know through b&b prgnancy forums has just had her second at 44! 

Both are in good health, they don't smoke etc etc so I think much of it is about lifestyle. 

My problem is weight, which has affected my hormones etc. I was seeing a herbalist before this BFP and was told to wait 6 months to help get my hormones back in line and I didn't listen, I waited 3! 

She's on holiday at the moment but I'll talk to her when she gets back about what I should do now. I'm so torn - I really really don't want to go through the sadness of a mc or the physical part (it really freaked me out yesterday), so I need to try and be as health as pos without leaving it too late x

How is everyone else feeling this morning? I'm just on my way to out of hours with DS, he has croup. It doesn't rain it bloody pours!! X


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## caz_hills

Morning ladies,

I was in this forum last September when I have my first MC and there were hardly any women on here. There are so many of us this time :(

I'm 34 (birthday was on Wednesday had he scan on Tuesday so hardly celebrated). I had said to OH that if we MC again I didn't want to go again but now I do. But I need to get the procedures over first. It took us 4 months Ttc for our son, then 9 months for the first miscarriage and 6 this time. So not forever but not super quick either.

We have a party for our son for the kids graduating from nursery today. Lots of second kids there and babies. Will be so tough but we can't miss it for Ds x


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## Sweety21

I am surprised to see so many post overnight. Those who are waiting to mc(waiting for bleeding to start) like me may god give you strength and hope it's not very painful. 

Those who already miscarried I am praying you get your rainbow baby soon. 
Hugs to all.


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## kakae

Hi ladies can I join? Sorry to be here and see everyone here to for such a horrible reason but at least we can be all in this together :)

I had a ERPOC last Wednesday on the 19th, I was meant to be almost 8 weeks but had a feeling things weren't right, nine days later after hCG tests after tests and scans it was confirmed I had had a mmc at around 6 weeks. So I'm up to six angels in heaven and one lovely daughter here with me. I'm just so ready to have another baby here with me :(


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## caz_hills

Kakae so many angels that has given me goose bumps. I said to my hubbie the other night that I hope our two angels are together. Somehow it made me feel a little better x


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## amytrisha

I've started losing the baby today and it's really painful at the moment much more painful than I remember last time but hoping it eases off after today. I'm just so relived I've managed to do it naturally because I was really scared of hospital intervention. 

Hope the party goes ok Caz, just focus on your little man xx

So sorry Kakae xx


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## LoraLoo

I'm so sorry amytrisha. I hope it's over as quickly as possible for you x


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## beneathmywing

Amy -- hope it passes quickly for you :hugs:


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## caz_hills

Amy I hope you're ok.
The party for our son was probably just what we needed. We just focused on him and only one family knew or situation so no one asked.
Nothing happening for me. Had hoped to start naturally before the next scan but scan is on Tuesday so losing hope now x


----------



## amytrisha

You can opt to wait another week without anything if you want to Caz, but I think if I made it to Wednesday and nothing has happened it'd opt for something just to have it done with (as awful as that sounds) it's horrible waiting around :(

Thank you ladies. Had a big wave of pain and clots (tmi so sorry!!) quite big and it's all cooled off now just bleeding no clots so hoping I've passed the worst of it. 

Hope your all doing ok xx


----------



## Vicky_92

I am similar amytrisha, I'm not passing anymore clots just bleeding and luckily I've no pain. Hugs girls


----------



## caz_hills

AmyTrisha, yes if there is no progress or a bad scan on Tuesday I will decide what to do. I would much prefer it to be natural but I know realistically it isn't looking likely. Did you have any signs it was coming/starting or just all of a sudden?


----------



## amytrisha

Quite sudden just woke up yesterday morning with light pink spotting which stopped early on and then woke this morning with everything happening. That's how my last MC started too. 
I hope it happens soon for you hun being in limbo is awful.

Glad your not in a lot of pain Vicky x


----------



## caz_hills

Hope it's not too bad. I know that sounds silly as its bloomin' awful but hopefully you know what i mean x


----------



## amytrisha

I hope not either sweet xx


----------



## Sunshine14

Amytrisha and Vicky so so sorry for ur loss. Hope ur recovery physically and mentally goes ok it's such an awful time xxx thinking of u both.

Caz how u doing hun? Hope ur ok. I think sometimes the waiting to mc can be the worst part xxx

Mod how are you hun? Hope your ok and your cyst is getting better? What is the plan for you hun? 

Thanks to you MrsMac and Mod for sharing ur stories of older mums who had healthy babies - it seems very unobtainable to me at the moment so it's lovely to hear positive stories. MrsMac are you going to ttc again or wait to see from advice from ur herbalist? If it's worth anything my hormones and cycle was all over the place after my ectopic at Xmas and I started taking 50mg of B6 & it went back to normal. 

I am 3 days post mc today and did test with fmu this morning and its barely there with a test at 25 - it's scary how you can go from 10.5 weeks pregnant to like it never existed in a matter of days. I have been feeling very very low and I think it must have just been a massive hormone crash and now have to build myself up again physically.

How is everyone doing today? Thinking of you all x


----------



## Mrsmac02

Hi sunshine. I'm going to get tomorrow over and done with (back at 8am for a scan to check every thing has passed and if not, booked in for pills at 9am) then I'm going to focus on health for three months. After eating right and exercising 3 times a week, taking vitamins and reducing stress, I'm going to TTC again. I think that's probably the best way for us, my health has no doubt been a major factor in this mc! 

What about you? X


----------



## joo

Sorry sunshine, I hope you feel better soon xx What you described is pretty much how I felt for the first few days afterwards, but couldn't really put in words or understand it. I had a really hard time coming to terms with being pregnant yesterday but not today. And then I was tearful for a few days and just didn't know what to do with myself, that must have been my hormone crash.

Ladies who are going through it right now, I hope it is over quickly.

I think I have BV :cry: I am using those gels to try and sort it out but don't fancy BD ing while using them, so very little chance of falling pregnant this time. Wondering if I had it all along and that's why I lost my baby, which is silly as there's no way I could know. Xx


----------



## LoraLoo

Sunshine14 said:


> Amytrisha and Vicky so so sorry for ur loss. Hope ur recovery physically and mentally goes ok it's such an awful time xxx thinking of u both.
> 
> Caz how u doing hun? Hope ur ok. I think sometimes the waiting to mc can be the worst part xxx
> 
> Mod how are you hun? Hope your ok and your cyst is getting better? What is the plan for you hun?
> 
> Thanks to you MrsMac and Mod for sharing ur stories of older mums who had healthy babies - it seems very unobtainable to me at the moment so it's lovely to hear positive stories. MrsMac are you going to ttc again or wait to see from advice from ur herbalist? If it's worth anything my hormones and cycle was all over the place after my ectopic at Xmas and I started taking 50mg of B6 & it went back to normal.
> 
> I am 3 days post mc today and did test with fmu this morning and its barely there with a test at 25 - it's scary how you can go from 10.5 weeks pregnant to like it never existed in a matter of days. I have been feeling very very low and I think it must have just been a massive hormone crash and now have to build myself up again physically.
> 
> How is everyone doing today? Thinking of you all x

I'm almost 2 weeks post loss and my tests are still positive although I was 15 weeks. I'm glad your lines are disappearing quickly. Hope your cycles return to possible asap x


----------



## LoraLoo

joo said:


> Sorry sunshine, I hope you feel better soon xx What you described is pretty much how I felt for the first few days afterwards, but couldn't really put in words or understand it. I had a really hard time coming to terms with being pregnant yesterday but not today. And then I was tearful for a few days and just didn't know what to do with myself, that must have been my hormone crash.
> 
> Ladies who are going through it right now, I hope it is over quickly.
> 
> I think I have BV :cry: I am using those gels to try and sort it out but don't fancy BD ing while using them, so very little chance of falling pregnant this time. Wondering if I had it all along and that's why I lost my baby, which is silly as there's no way I could know. Xx

Huge hugs hun- I think we question everything when we lose our baby- I know I do. Was it because my little boy kicked me? Too much caffeine? Over doing things? Using doppler too much? The likekyhood is none of those things but I think it's natural to look for a reason. I'm sure the infection didn't contribute to your loss xx


----------



## LoraLoo

Hope everyone else is ok. I'm still bleeding on and off but it's brown gungey stuff now (sorry) tests still positive. Dtd this morning for first time since we lost Eden. I know I am nowhere near ovulation but it's nice to get the first time out of the way iykwim? Hubby was worried I wasn't ready but I just want to get my rainbow as quickly as possible. I've started taking Asprin and folic acid though I need a prescription for the higher dose which the Dr in hospital recommended.


----------



## caz_hills

Ladies I feel so tearful tonight. Thinking about the scan on Tuesday, just expecting the worst and then dreading what comes next. I am feeling so sorry for myself I'm sorry - you're all in the same position. We had such a nice day, me hubbie and our four year old boy - we are so lucky to have him and then I remember what has happened and I just hate that it has come to this x


----------



## LoraLoo

I think we are too harsh in ourselves sometimes caz- of course we are grateful for our l/c- that doesn't mean we can't be upset about the babies we have lost. Sometimes the happiest times are the hardest-they reinforce what we are missing out on xx


----------



## Vicky_92

Sunshine14 said:


> Amytrisha and Vicky so so sorry for ur loss. Hope ur recovery physically and mentally goes ok it's such an awful time xxx thinking of u both.
> 
> Caz how u doing hun? Hope ur ok. I think sometimes the waiting to mc can be the worst part xxx
> 
> Mod how are you hun? Hope your ok and your cyst is getting better? What is the plan for you hun?
> 
> Thanks to you MrsMac and Mod for sharing ur stories of older mums who had healthy babies - it seems very unobtainable to me at the moment so it's lovely to hear positive stories. MrsMac are you going to ttc again or wait to see from advice from ur herbalist? If it's worth anything my hormones and cycle was all over the place after my ectopic at Xmas and I started taking 50mg of B6 & it went back to normal.
> 
> I am 3 days post mc today and did test with fmu this morning and its barely there with a test at 25 - it's scary how you can go from 10.5 weeks pregnant to like it never existed in a matter of days. I have been feeling very very low and I think it must have just been a massive hormone crash and now have to build myself up again physically.
> 
> How is everyone doing today? Thinking of you all x

Hi sunshine. I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs xx


----------



## Vicky_92

caz_hills said:


> Ladies I feel so tearful tonight. Thinking about the scan on Tuesday, just expecting the worst and then dreading what comes next. I am feeling so sorry for myself I'm sorry - you're all in the same position. We had such a nice day, me hubbie and our four year old boy - we are so lucky to have him and then I remember what has happened and I just hate that it has come to this x

Hi. Just want to give you hug and I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, no matter how nice of a day im having with my partner and son all of a sudden it will hit me what happenened. And it's like my heart is breaking all over again.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Caz, how are you doing today? It's so terribly upsetting but I think it's natural to feel down and teary. I'm swinging from teary to exhausted. Sending you big :hug: 

I've just been for a follow up scan - I've passed mostly everything (as predicted, not sure how there's anything left in there to be honest!!) so don't need to go in today for the second pills, just need to go back in a fortnight for a final scan to check everything's ok. 

I have to keep telling myself my hubby and DS will help me get through this. Ive managed not to get upset in front of DS but he's obviously sussed out that mummy is feeling a bit down because he keeps saying 'mummy, duddle?' (Cuddle) - he's such a darling, I feel so incredibly lucky to have him and my hubby at this tough time. I honestly don't know what I'd do without them. 

I'm taking today to chill out, it's DS's second birthday tomorrow so there will be cake but then on Wednesday, the healthy eating and exercise starts! I'll be thinking about TTC again in 3 cycles time and I need to be in better shape to reduce the risk of this happening again. 

How is everyone else doing today? Xx


----------



## caz_hills

Exhausted too here today. Had a nap at 930 for an hour. Was up with my boy at 0630 which isn't bad but just feel so tired.

Huge hugs to everyone x


----------



## amytrisha

Sunshine: :hugs: I agree the going from pregnant to not pregnant without anything at the end is sad, big big hugs xxx

Joo: :( please don't over think things sweet. I hope it's not BD but if it is the doctors will help you x

Lo: I hope it happens soon for you babe. Good luck xxx

MrsMac: I'm glad the scan showed you'd passed things alone xx

Caz: keep your chin up sweet!! X


----------



## beneathmywing

Sending hugs to all you ladies. Im on my way to a scan now to see if what I passed the other day was the sac or not and will get suppositories if it wasnt to speed this up.

I had a tough weekend as I lost my baby and dh's cousin announced she's three months pregnant. Happy for her, but sadder for me! :(


----------



## Mrsmac02

Caz - me too, just slept on the couch for nearly FIVE hours! I am a sweaty mess! 

Thanks Amytrisha - I'm glad the worst is over. Just need to hope I don't get an infection now! 

Amytrisha - hugs him, that's so so hard. Im not sure at this stage I would be able to keep from getting upset. 

I'm really dreading the announcements. My friends are having kids left, right and centre and quite a few are newly married so it's only a matter of time. I'd obviously be very happy for all of them but it would be hard not to remember what's just happened xx


----------



## Sweety21

I am so sorry for mia for few days.
Just read few posts and I am really sorry for all of those who already have had their miscarriage. 
Afm, It's really difficult to wait. I thought I would be able to pass everything naturally but, nothing is happening. Except for lower back pains. I decided to take hot bath today and when&#12288;I was in there I saw something floating around which looked like small brown streak of blood. As yucky asit sounds but,there was nothing more when I checked? Not sure what to think about it. I have made an appointment on Wednesday to see how it is going, I am still hopeful&#12288;that I should start bleeding on my own. But, it's not happening. 
So, frustrated that my body is not doing what it should do.

Mrsmac, I know exactly how you feel. It is hard not to remember this things when everyone around us are talking related things. Time will heal us.


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## LoraLoo

Afternoon ladies. We've just landed in Scotland so won't be on much/ I hope you all have a gentle week ahead x


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## amytrisha

Beneathmywing: So sorry sweet, I've got a few friends who have just had their healthy 12 week scans. It's bitter sweet I understand xx

Sweety: that could be the start hopefully hun, hope your not waiting too long :hugs: 

You too Lora xxx


----------



## amytrisha

I'm having a bit of a crappy day today just feel really down and I'm bleeding what seems like a period now. It's awful cos I'm used to tampons so I'm feeling quite icky. My heads still not fully together and OH is back at work tomorrow. Be nice to fast forward these next couple of weeks x


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## beneathmywing

Looks like the tissue i passed the other day was the sac as its no longer there in the scan today. Had another beta today, so hoping it goes down on its own so I wont need a d&c. I am feeling thankful it passed so soon and was painless. My lining is also down to a 4.5


----------



## Vicky_92

Hi beneathmywing. Ack no.. I can only imagine how hard it must be for to hear about a pregnancy so close to your loss. Sending you hugs.

Amytrisha.. I'm glad the bleeding is getting a bit better for you. I'm the same wish I could speed up time. I just feel so raw about it. 

The bleeding for me is getting very light and is mostly brown blood which I know is old blood so I'm hoping it's nearly over. Although I'm not sure.


----------



## joo

Thanks everyone, I know it's "just one of those things", but it's so hard not to wonder was it this or that? It's not often I think about that now though. The gels have worked and I got over myself and DTD again last night. I'm still going to the doctors but won't get an appointment for a few weeks. The gels are really good though, I can take them once a week as a prevention as well :)

Loraloo, the thought of the 1st BD is worse than actually doing it! Glad you got it over with, and I hope you get a negative test soon so you can get cracking!Have fun in Scotland xx

Caz_hills, good luck for tomorrow hun, I hope you get positive news xx

Mrsmac - I am torn too, I could really do to lose a bit of weight and try and close my diastasis recti, but on the other hand I don't want to wait that long! Your scan results sound really promising! That's great that you don't need the second lot of pills. Oh your DS sounds adorable! I couldn't have done it without my daughter and OH, they have been amazing. My DD used to talk about the baby lots, but from the day of the scan she has never mentioned it again. She must have sensed something was wrong and she's been so good for me :) Enjoy your DS's birthday tomorrow xx

Sweety21, mine started with lower back pain/ache for almost a week before proper bleeding started xx

The pregnancy/birth announcements really sting! I hate to feel jealous, but instead of being happy for them like I used to, my heart sinks first and then I feel bad!


----------



## caz_hills

Thanks Joo.

Just want it to come around now so i know what is happening x


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## amytrisha

Good luck today Caz :hugs:


----------



## Mrsmac02

Thinking of you Caz, keep us posted xx


----------



## caz_hills

Thanks ladies, unfortunately the scan showed the sac had grown but still no embryo. So I have the ERPC. On Thursday. We had great car through the NHS as we had last time.
It's really hit me now. I snapped so much at my hubbie as he just wanted to leave but I had lots of questions. Poor him. X


----------



## Mrsmac02

So sorry Caz, it really is so unfair. Hope the procedure is over with quickly and you recover well. 
Take good care of yourself and don't worry about hubby, I'm sure he understands xx


----------



## Kandl123

I lost my little baby last night, confirmed this morning by scan (I had to stay in overnight due to blood loss) I can't help but feel like it's all my fault.. I'm completely empty and broken :cry:


----------



## Sweety21

Amytrisha, good to hear bleeding is getting lighter for you but, also sorry that you are feeling crappy. It will pass soon hun. 

joo,thanks alot for info. I have had some very light brown spots here and there but, not enough to wear pads or pantyliner or anything.

beneath, so sorry. praying for your quick recovery.

vicky, good to hear your bleeding is getting lighter too.

kandl, so sorry hun. We all understand how you feel but, please don't blame yourself. 

caz, sorry hun. Hope you feel better. Your hubby probably will understand why you are angry.

Afm, had few brown sopts when I wipe. I am very tired like I was with my dd when pregnant. And it is all of sudden. Going in for appointment tomorrow to see how things are progressing.


----------



## mummyof3babas

I rang the hospital today and apparently the etopic wasnt fetus tissue at all just a mass what does that actually mean at a loss atm and really confused:(


----------



## amytrisha

I hope things go smoothly for you Caz :hugs:

Kandi please don't blame yourself it's nothing you have done it's just a cruel world :( so sorry xxx

Hope things are ending for you Sweety x

Mummyof3babas I don't know I hate Google but have you had a look there? I hope your ok! :hugs:

I phoned the hospital today to ask if I could change tomorrow's scan to another day cos I'm bleeding and don't fancy an internal but the woman said no I can't change it :( dreading it.


----------



## mummyof3babas

Cabnt find anything at all :S it was an etopic cos i had surgery but no fetus tissue i dont get it xx


----------



## Vicky_92

I am so sorry to hear Caz, sending you massive hugs. 

Kandl I'm so sorry for your loss, I just replied to another one of your threads. 

Thank you sweety, I'm glad you're recovering as well, best of luck at your appointment. 

Mummyof3babas, I'm so sorry, I hope you get some answers and advice of other ladies.. I'm not to sure. 

Amytrisha that sucks they wouldn't change your scan, i was already bleeding when I had the internal scan, it was uncomfortable but it's just one of them things, they see it all the time.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Please don't blame yourself KandI, there really isn't anything any of us could've done to change things. Take good care of yourself xxx

Mummyof3- could it have been a blighted ovum, so still a pregnancy but not an actual fetus? They really shouldn't tell you it wasnt fetal tissue without at least saying what they think it is or that it's nothing to worry about, as if you're not going through enough already! Hope you get some answers soon xx


----------



## amytrisha

I had one with my last miscarriage when I was bleeding hated it. Just don't fancy doing it again lol but I guess needs must! 

I hope you find out soon hun, maybe ring EPU and ask for answers xx


----------



## Vicky_92

I am sorry you have had to it before, my heart goes out to you! I really hope it's over for you soon. :hugs: xx


----------



## mummyof3babas

Hope i find some answers soon, its gone from thinking i had had a loss at 6 weeks to being told they were no fetus there just a mass, i really dont get it im seriously confused and now my mind is everywere:shrug: :(


----------



## Kandl123

It's just hard to not blame yourself. I keep thinking "what if I ate a bit better, more veggies ect" "what if I drank more water" "what if I didn't go away for a few days and do so much walking" "what if I didn't have sex the day before the bleeding started" 
I'm just full of what ifs xx


----------



## mummyof3babas

,


----------



## Kandl123

Also I cannot for the life of me get the thought and feel out of my mind when I past my first clot of blood. I went to the toilet at hospital to try give a urine sample and all that came out was a big clot of blood :cry: to this moment now, 24hrs later I can still feel it coming out of me, it is horrible


----------



## Mrsmac02

I know exactly what u mean KandI, it's awful! :hugs:


----------



## Vicky_92

Kandl I know how you feel. Not only do we have to deal with the emotional side... But it's so physically hard too, seeing what comes out is just horrific, I'm really opening the physical side passes soon for you. :hugs:


----------



## Kandl123

It's horrible to see. I know it's been hard on both me and my partner for our loss but I can't help it, but I just wanna say to him "you didn't carry the baby, you didn't see what came out of me in the toilet that night, you didn't feel all the pain and discomfort my body went through" I know I'm been selfish so I haven't said anything. But I dunno, he just didn't have it physical like I did :cry: I'm horrible I know. He's gone through as much pain as I have with loosing our baby


----------



## caz_hills

It's not selfish Kandi. It hard to explain what it's like to our partners. My hubbie throws himself into thinking practically and today I just asked him to stop as it was just too much. We feel pregnant we rubbed our tummies and felt things that they don't. It much be tough for them too and I often have to stop myself and ask him how he is. But don't get annoyed at yourself. It's tough x


----------



## Sunshine14

Kandl so sorry for ur loss - I had those exact same irrational thoughts about my OH when I was in the middle of miscarriage last week! He was being sweet and everything but I was sooo angry that he wasn't having to go through what I was and didn't have a clue how horrific the physical side can be.....

Mum of 3 when I had my ectopic at Xmas they said it was a 'mass' in my tube. There was no baby and something growing in my tube and then I miscarried and the 'mass' eventually reabsorbed. My hcg was still high showing it was a pregnancy but it just wasn't a baby developing. You were still pg hun but there was no embryo developing. Not sure if that helps hun x

Caz I'm so sorry the scan was bad news and hope Thursday goes ok hun.

Sorry for anyone else going through a loss at the moment xxx hope ur all recovering ok.


----------



## Sweety21

Just back from appointment and I have D&C schedule for day after tomorrow. things aren't progressing just have little bit of tiny spots of brown blood. Next week hubby is on business trip so, it will be difficult to look after dd if something happens then. I so wanted it to be over naturally but, can't help.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Sorry things are going to plan sweety, the waiting was the most difficult part for me! 

If it's any consolation, I've had a D&C and a natural mc and the natural was by far the worst!! :flower: 

With my d&c it was over and done with and I didn't need to go through the physical unpleasantness of passing everything. 

Not sure if that's any comfort at all but either way, I hope you receiver quickly and start to feel a bit better soon xx

How is everyone else feeling today? KandI, are you feeling any less down to day?

I had a bit of a down feeling day yesterday, was really upset in the evening, but I think it was a combo of my little baby turning a big 2 (where does the time go?! sob sob!) and the hormones dropping.


----------



## caz_hills

Hope you feel better today MrsMac.

ERPC tomorrow for me so today just relaxing at home with my son who is 4. My mum is coming over which will be lovely as she will be wonderful to have around.

Nervous about tomorrow but sort of feel like it will be some sort of closure on this after near ten days of waiting for progress or good news x



Mrsmac02 said:


> Sorry things are going to plan sweety, the waiting was the most difficult part for me!
> 
> If it's any consolation, I've had a D&C and a natural mc and the natural was by far the worst!! :flower:
> 
> With my d&c it was over and done with and I didn't need to go through the physical unpleasantness of passing everything.
> 
> Not sure if that's any comfort at all but either way, I hope you receiver quickly and start to feel a bit better soon xx
> 
> How is everyone else feeling today? KandI, are you feeling any less down to day?
> 
> I had a bit of a down feeling day yesterday, was really upset in the evening, but I think it was a combo of my little baby turning a big 2 (where does the time go?! sob sob!) and the hormones dropping.


----------



## Sweety21

Mrsmac02 said:


> Sorry things are going to plan sweety, the waiting was the most difficult part for me!
> 
> If it's any consolation, I've had a D&C and a natural mc and the natural was by far the worst!! :flower:
> 
> With my d&c it was over and done with and I didn't need to go through the physical unpleasantness of passing everything.
> 
> Not sure if that's any comfort at all but either way, I hope you receiver quickly and start to feel a bit better soon xx
> 
> How is everyone else feeling today? KandI, are you feeling any less down to day?
> 
> I had a bit of a down feeling day yesterday, was really upset in the evening, but I think it was a combo of my little baby turning a big 2 (where does the time go?! sob sob!) and the hormones dropping.

Thank you so much for positive words. It's really assuring to hear positive outcome. On the other hand I have to ask someone here for insurance signature. Don't know why but, we don't have any family and telling some so so friend about this so heartbreaking. Hate it but, will be asking my Japanese friend to sign in the papers. 

Mrsmac, my dd will be turning two too next month. Time definitely flies. Hope you feel better. hormones are all over place.


----------



## Mrsmac02

I think it will just be because there are sometime although very very rarely complications, as with any procedure. Try not to worry, it's a very quick and simple procedure and they doctors will be so experienced, you will no doubt be absolutely fine. 

I was initially booked in for medical management and the NHS midwife even made me sign a declaration form for that, as there are risks with that too. 

Like I say, it'll be over quickly and you will not have to go through weeks and weeks of bleeding so if you want to TTC again, you could probably start sooner! 

Xx


----------



## Mrsmac02

Does anyone know how long my bleeding will last? 

I passed the sac and about 5/6 big clots on Friday and have had heavy period type bleeding since. It's starting to get lighter/browner now but the midwife said I would bleed for 2/3 weeks afterwards. 

That makes me worry my lining wasn't thick enough in the first place! I have always had quite short periods, 3 days ish with some residual brown spotting for about a day or two. Do you think that could indicate a problem?


----------



## Kandl123

Mrsmac02 said:


> Does anyone know how long my bleeding will last?
> 
> I passed the sac and about 5/6 big clots on Friday and have had heavy period type bleeding since. It's starting to get lighter/browner now but the midwife said I would bleed for 2/3 weeks afterwards.
> 
> That makes me worry my lining wasn't thick enough in the first place! I have always had quite short periods, 3 days ish with some residual brown spotting for about a day or two. Do you think that could indicate a problem?

Glad you've asked this question as I was wondering the same, I passed a lot of clots Monday evening and then they used a speculum (I think) to look inside me and then used something else to pull rest of the clots and tissue out :cry: my periods are the same as yours, light and last 3 days.. It is getting lighter now but doctor said yesterday I had a few small clots left in me that will need to come out eventually... Do these clots break down to "normal" blood or not? Bit worried as I haven't passed any yet. I just want all thto bleeding to stop as its a horrible reminder of what's happened. 

I hope you're feeling okay today mrsmac


----------



## Vicky_92

Hi ladies. Hope yous are all well, considering the circumstances. I'm sorry sweety about your appointment. 

I'm not sure how long it will take for the bleeding to stop, but I started bleeding last Wednesday and it's practically away now.


----------



## LoraLoo

Hope it stays away Vicky. I'm 16/17 days on and still having random bleeding. Meh x


----------



## Mrsmac02

That sounds so unpleasant KandI, so sorry you had to go through that. I had some clots still when I went for a scan Monday and the midwife said sometimes it breaks down and sometimes it comes away in one clot. I think I've passed most of its now as had a few smaller clots and the bleeding is slowing x

That's quick Vicky, hopefully I won't be far behind you! 

Sorry it's been long for you LoraLoo, it's really not easy is it? Hope it starts to tail off now x


----------



## Kandl123

I hope mine is as quick as yours Vicky! I feel for you loraloo, that's quite a long time to be bleeding :hugs:

I've just made a thread, but I'll ask you lot anyway... How long did you have pain for after your mc? I keep getting it on and off.. Worse when I'm active (walking)


----------



## LoraLoo

Mrsmac02 said:


> That sounds so unpleasant KandI, so sorry you had to go through that. I had some clots still when I went for a scan Monday and the midwife said sometimes it breaks down and sometimes it comes away in one clot. I think I've passed most of its now as had a few smaller clots and the bleeding is slowing x
> 
> That's quick Vicky, hopefully I won't be far behind you!
> 
> Sorry it's been long for you LoraLoo, it's really not easy is it? Hope it starts to tail off now x

No it's not. I think once you know it's happened you just want it over as quick as possible not dragging on. It's defintely much less- I'm mainly not bleeding then it'll start and I'll bleed for a couple of hours and then it stops again. Annoying! 

Sorry I'm behind with posts will catch up when I'm home xx


----------



## Sweety21

Mrsmac, thanks again for assurance. feeling better about it. Now i just hope that the bleeding doesn't start tomorrow or on D&C day. 

Lora, mrsmac and kandl hope your bleeding stops soon. How long after you pass everything can you ttc again? Not sure about norms.


----------



## Kandl123

Sweety21 said:


> Mrsmac, thanks again for assurance. feeling better about it. Now i just hope that the bleeding doesn't start tomorrow or on D&C day.
> 
> Lora, mrsmac and kandl hope your bleeding stops soon. How long after you pass everything can you ttc again? Not sure about norms.

Thankyou :) & I got told to wait 3 cycles. But we've decided to just wait one. So going to use protection (if we actually dtd haha) until my next period, then start trying


----------



## LoraLoo

Sweety21 said:


> Mrsmac, thanks again for assurance. feeling better about it. Now i just hope that the bleeding doesn't start tomorrow or on D&C day.
> 
> Lora, mrsmac and kandl hope your bleeding stops soon. How long after you pass everything can you ttc again? Not sure about norms.

I think it varies? I was 15 weeks. I was induced and delivered baby n placenta on the 17th but still getting v v faint pregnancy tests and bleeding. You'd think once everything was out it'll all go back to normal wouldn't you? Xx


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## caz_hills

Hope the bleeding eases for those ladies going through it now. So tough for you all.

I'm petrified about the ERPc tomorrow. Scared I won't wake up from the anesthetic. I have been crying off and on. I just want to wake up from it and know I can come home and see my son. Am I being stupid? X


----------



## amytrisha

MWs advise to start trying after your next period here.

I bled for a couple of weeks with my last miscarriage but for the last week it was more on and off Mrs Mac x

Sorry it's been rough for you Kandi hope your ok xx

Hugs sweety! Sorry things aren't going to plan xx

Caz will be thinking of you tomorrow x

I went for my follow up scan today, she didn't need to do an internal. She said there's about 4cm worth of placenta still being retained, as I'm still bleeding and cramping she said they'll leave me two weeks and I have to take a pregnancy test in 2 weeks if it's positive I'll need to go back in. She said to look out for infection -.- but also said its rare she sees that so not to worry. Hopefully I pass this last bit and then it'll be over. Finally. X


----------



## amytrisha

I can imagine it being scary no doubt but you'll be ok! Apparently the op only takes like 20 minutes so hopefully you'll be home within a couple of hours xxx


----------



## Mrsmac02

It's doesn't rain it pours Amytrisha! Really hope it passes soon x 

Caz, don't worry sweets, it'll be over before you know it and you'll be home and able to heal x

Sweety, mw told me Monday the advice varies from place to place but here, the advice is that there's nothing to stop you TTC as soon as bleeding stops, unless it's molar or ectopic (because of the drugs and healing process). 

She said it used to be 3 months, then it was one cycle but that was only so they can properly date your pregnancy. 

I'm going to wait til my first proper period and see how I feel then. I want to make sure I build up my folic acid stores again since I'm older x


----------



## Vicky_92

Thanks ladies. I've on and off brown spotting but it's nothing really. I seemed to pass it quickly which I'm thankful for but I did bleed big clots and a lot of blood for the first couple of days. 
Caz please try not to worry, I'll be thinking about you. :hugs: 
The doctor at the hospital told me I could try straight away when the bleeding has stopped.


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## caz_hills

Thanks ladies. I don't think I can ever go through this again - second miscarriage and I can't imagine ever being here again :( hugs to everyone x


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## amytrisha

I know what you mean Caz. It's my second MC too, and both have been 'missed'. The worst part was getting to the 12 week scan I thought I was safe. Think next time I'm gonna literally beg for an early scan to make sure things are progressing.

Thinking of you today sweet xx


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## Kandl123

Thinking of you today caz, hope everything goes well and you're okay! :hugs:


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## Justme43

I was nearly 9 weeks when it happened. I had my D&C last Friday after weeks of disappointing u/s. I am 43 years old and was told due to some issues with my ovaries years ago that I could not conceive. So I am newly engaged to my perfect mate and to my or our surprise I got pregnant. It was a welcomed surprise as we were overjoyed. I was in shock for about a week but quickly snapped out of it and welcomed the fact that finally I was going to be a mommy. But it all ended and my heart is still breaking. My fiancé is trying to be supportive but it gets hard sometimes. 
Well now my mission is to get in shape. I want to lose a few pounds and get my head back in the game (so to speak). My doctor is very optimistic that I can get pregnant again so when that time comes, I hope to be in tip top shape. 

After spending the majority of my life satisfied with the fact that I would be a mother of others' children - it is amazing how much I WANT my own babies now. 

The good thing is during my motherless years I've accomplished a lot professionally and academically so when the time comes I am all set. Now I have to work on the mental, emotional and physical. 

So glad I found this site. 

I wish you all the very best in your journey's forward .


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## Vicky_92

Hey justme. I am so sorry for you loss I really hope you get your rainbow baby.


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## amytrisha

Good luck with your rainbow baby JustMe, so sorry for your loss :hugs:


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## caz_hills

So sorry for your loss Justme. It's so tough isn't it but thank goodness we have this site - group for support.

So I'm home from my ERPC now. It went well and the staff at the hospital were amZing, god bless the NHS. I had to have a pesserie first which was horrible having in but that was the worst and I was in surgery at 845 ish and came round at 945. Very quick and I just hope the bleeding isn't too bad. I told them I bled for ten weeks last time and they said two weeks max and anything else is a sign that something is wrong or needs exploration.

You ladies have been wonderful helping advising etc. thank you so much x


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## LoraLoo

Lots of love caz, I'm so glad that the staff were lovely- I think it really helps make such an awful thing that little bit easier. Make sure you rest as much as possible,

Justme I'm sorry for your loss


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## Kandl123

Rant alert!!!
When does this get any easier!? I just can't cope.. In the house I feel okay, well okay as I can be. Out of the house I'm a miserable hormonal mess. I wanna cry, I stress out, I take it out on my daughter (horrible I know) I just cannot face been out of the house, I'm dreading work Saturday :cry:

Glad everything went okay as it can be for you caz & love to you! Take is steady now :)

Justforme, ok so sorry for your loss.. This site will be amazing support for you when you need It. It's done me a world of good :hugs:


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## Sweety21

kandl, I think it's good you are going with your decision. If you feel you are ready that's what you should do.

Lora, yes I was thinking when everything is out it should be fine. But, the hormones will still be there to remind the bitter truth. 

Mrsmac, I see. Thanks for info. I really hope your folic goes back to normal soon for you too start ttc again.


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## Sweety21

Caz, Amytrisha and justme so sorry.hope everything will turn out ok.

Afm, I am booked for D&C tomorrow morning. Will be spending whole day there and if needed they will keep me overnight. 
I am scared and heartbroken that everything will come to end. But, I have named my angel sakura (cherry blossom) if the baby was healthy she would have born in April and hence the name. And I had feeling that this was girl. 
Anyway, everything packed for tomorrow. Going there alone because no one is there to look after for dd so hubby will take care of her whole day. Hopefully everything thing will turn out ok.


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## Kandl123

Good luck for your d&c tomorrow and I hope everything goes okay for you. Thinking of you :hugs:


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## Justme43

caz_hills said:


> So sorry for your loss Justme. It's so tough isn't it but thank goodness we have this site - group for support.
> 
> So I'm home from my ERPC now. It went well and the staff at the hospital were amZing, god bless the NHS. I had to have a pesserie first which was horrible having in but that was the worst and I was in surgery at 845 ish and came round at 945. Very quick and I just hope the bleeding isn't too bad. I told them I bled for ten weeks last time and they said two weeks max and anything else is a sign that something is wrong or needs exploration.
> 
> You ladies have been wonderful helping advising etc. thank you so much x

Get plenty of rest Caz. Thanks GOD surgery is behind you and now you can focus on healing. 

Sending thoughts and prayers your way.


----------



## Justme43

Kandl123 said:


> Rant alert!!!
> When does this get any easier!? I just can't cope.. In the house I feel okay, well okay as I can be. Out of the house I'm a miserable hormonal mess. I wanna cry, I stress out, I take it out on my daughter (horrible I know) I just cannot face been out of the house, I'm dreading work Saturday :cry:
> 
> Glad everything went okay as it can be for you caz & love to you! Take is steady now :)
> 
> Justforme, ok so sorry for your loss.. This site will be amazing support for you when you need It. It's done me a world of good :hugs:

Hey Kandl - hang in there honey. I know it's hard and I am praying that it gets' easier for you. 
Give your daughter extra kisses and hugs and I am sure she will not hold anything against you. She knows momma is going through something right now.
I am back at work already and it can be challenging but hopefully you find something to get yourself busy.


----------



## Justme43

Sweety21 said:


> Caz, Amytrisha and justme so sorry.hope everything will turn out ok.
> 
> Afm, I am booked for D&C tomorrow morning. Will be spending whole day there and if needed they will keep me overnight.
> I am scared and heartbroken that everything will come to end. But, I have named my angel sakura (cherry blossom) if the baby was healthy she would have born in April and hence the name. And I had feeling that this was girl.
> Anyway, everything packed for tomorrow. Going there alone because no one is there to look after for dd so hubby will take care of her whole day. Hopefully everything thing will turn out ok.

Hey sweety21 - I am praying that all goes well with you tomorrow. I was put to sleep which was okay by me as I did not want to see or hear anything. 
When I woke up I was in recovery and ready to get home and rest. 
GOD bless your little blossom and she'll be your angel now. 

Take care tomorrow and imagine all the cyber hands that will be there holding yours. 

Praying for you...


----------



## Vicky_92

Caz- I'm glad everything went well for you, and the staff were great. Take it easy and have plenty of rest :hugs:

Sweety- best of luck for tomorrow will be thinking about you. 

Kandl- I really hope things get easier for you! I started losing my baby last Wednesday and it was confirmed this time last week, I went back to work on Tuesday and it really wasn't too bad. No one knows apart from my manger, but I just liked keeping myself busy. Although I do work in a day nursery so I was around babies, but it give me hope. :hugs: xx


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## amytrisha

I'm glad it all went well Caz, hope you have a fast recovery xx

Good luck tomorrow Sweety xx

Sorry your finding things hard atm Kandi :( hold your daughter tight and try to think positive I know it horrible and annoying hearing it. I hope your ok xx


----------



## joo

Glad it went ok Caz. I was scared of not waking up too when I had a general anaesthetic (for something else) the first time, but wasn't so bad this time.I second the NHS praise, so sensitive and caring from start to finish! I'm glad they were good to you too. I was in for 9 hours though, luckily my OH was allowed to stay with me.

Sweety - hope all goes well for you tomorrow. Just relax and take it easy until then, and know that the worst will be over with after tomorrow an you can concentrate on grieving and feeling better.

Kandl, Vicky and justme, so sorry you are going through this too :hugs:

I hope everyone else is doing ok? Mrsmac did you all have a nice time celebrating your son's birthday?


As for me, well I'm feeling much better. Just slowly trying to get out of this rut I have been in since it happened. My OH is so.amazing, and encouraged me to relax, have movie days with our DD, not worry about getting dinner on the table and I'm so grateful! But really struggling to get back in to routine. We've been out and about for walks and playdates, I just get really upset when I can't get us ready at a decent time in the morning and just want to get back to normal. I also get waves of panic when I'm thinking nice things about being pregnant again then the thought passes my mind that this might happen again! Xx


----------



## Kandl123

Why are our bodies so cruel!? Just been to the loo and wiped, two clots of blood, one had white stringy bits in it? Please tell me that's not my baby's tissue :cry: I was expecting some clots to come out at some point as doctor told me there was some left in. But it's a heartbreaking reminder every time you go for a wee. 

Sorry I've been all about "me" today, I'm been selfish I know. But I really hope you're all doing okay. Glad your feeling better joo, don't get upset about things like that, you will get back into your routine once you are ready. Until then, just take it steady and one step at a time.. You'll get there when you are ready to :hugs:


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## Vicky_92

Kandl123 said:


> Why are our bodies so cruel!? Just been to the loo and wiped, two clots of blood, one had white stringy bits in it? Please tell me that's not my baby's tissue :cry: I was expecting some clots to come out at some point as doctor told me there was some left in. But it's a heartbreaking reminder every time you go for a wee.
> 
> Sorry I've been all about "me" today, I'm been selfish I know. But I really hope you're all doing okay. Glad your feeling better joo, don't get upset about things like that, you will get back into your routine once you are ready. Until then, just take it steady and one step at a time.. You'll get there when you are ready to :hugs:

Ack kandl my heart really does go out to you. I think it was on this thread I mentioned the same thing about it being a constant reminder everytime I went to the toilet, it is horrific I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I really hope the physical side improves for you soon. Please don't feel your being selfish, your really NOT...we are all in this together and want to help each other :hugs: xx


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## Kandl123

The physical sides are awful aren't they. I think that's why I get frustrated with OH sometimes, I know he's heartbroken too, and he is. As any father would be. But he's not experiencing it physically too like I am. He hasn't got a constant reminder everytime he uses the toilet. and he doesn't have abdominal pains either


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## caz_hills

Oh kandi I'm so sorry. It's so cruel - I am so sorry you're going through this. Is it painful? Huge hugs to you. Is this after your ERPC? x


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## Kandl123

I've had pain on and off in my abdomen.. Sometimes it's mild other times it's like I'm going through the miscarriage all over again and very painful. It wasn't an ERPC I had, I don't think anyway.. I never got told what the procedure was called the doctor did. I was awake, I had a speculum? and she pulled out all the clots and tissue. All while I could see what she was doing! But yeah I'm still loosing the clots after I've had that. But when I had my scan, she did say there was still some left in and to expect to pass them in best few days 

How you feeling now after yours today? X


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## caz_hills

Oh bless you - you were awake, strong lady! Being asleep was tough enough - you're amazing.

I'm ok thanks Hun - physically I'm ok, tired but recovered quickly. Just waiting for the emotion to hit me. I don't know when that will be but am dreading it. Maybe it won't happen? Hugs to you x


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## Sunshine14

Hi Ladies how are you all doing?

Caz I'm glad it went as well as it could in the circumstances today. Hope ur recovery is quick xxx

Sweety good luck for tomorrow - it's tough having to go on your own sending you big hugs for tomorrow xxx

How is everyone else today? Hope ur all ok. My miscarriage ended last Thursday but I'm still bleeding lightly. I was feeling very down and anxious due to the drop in hormones but I'm starting to feel a bit better today. Went to the beach yesterday with OH and my kiddies and although I was still getting teary at points, it was great to get fresh air and see the kids play. Gave me some hope that life might be happy again in the future post mc.

Thinking of you all xx


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## Kandl123

caz_hills said:


> Oh bless you - you were awake, strong lady! Being asleep was tough enough - you're amazing.
> 
> I'm ok thanks Hun - physically I'm ok, tired but recovered quickly. Just waiting for the emotion to hit me. I don't know when that will be but am dreading it. Maybe it won't happen? Hugs to you x

Oh I didn't chose to be awake, they were only "examining" me then they did that. Glad you're feeling okay, maybe you're still in shock or maybe it doesn't seem real yet? I knew I had lost my baby, but it didn't fully seem real until the day after. And that's when it hit me the hardest. You'll fight with you're emotions you'll have good days and bad days. But keep strong :) :hugs: x


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## LoraLoo

Kandl I don't think it'll be from baby hun.
I lost my baby at 15 weeks- I was induced and delivered baby and placenta naturally but I was still getting clots and tissue coming out for over a week so definitely wasn't baby, hope that reassured you a bit. I think a lot of it is the lining and stuff xx


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## caz_hills

Morning girls,
Some advice please - I've woken up (ERPC yesterday) and am feeling really hot. My face feels like it's burning. No pain really and very light bleeding but I'm a bit worried. Going to take my temperature now and see if it's up x


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## LoraLoo

I'd be worried about infection if you're very hot- I'd give them a bell they'll probably want to check you over. Xx


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## Sweety21

The worst is over. Still at hospital but, woke up from don't know how to I explain it a fantasy world. 
In the morning when doc put that metal thing in i really couldn't bear it and screamed in pain. It was really really painful. But, at actual operation when drugs were in I passed out in instant. I was in some different world totally weird but, at one point I remember being in something similar to inside ovary? 
I vomited few times and somehow I remember pressing bells how no idea. Just feeling little relaxed that it is over. 
Don't want this to happen to even enemies. 
Waiting for some more checks and then dinner, feeling really hungry. Want some coffee desperately.
Will catch up on thread soon.


----------



## Kandl123

LoraLoo said:


> Kandl I don't think it'll be from baby hun.
> I lost my baby at 15 weeks- I was induced and delivered baby and placenta naturally but I was still getting clots and tissue coming out for over a week so definitely wasn't baby, hope that reassured you a bit. I think a lot of it is the lining and stuff xx

That's made me feel a lot better, Thankyou. I couldn't even bring myself to flush it down toilet at first for incase it was part of baby.. Does that sound silly?
I'm so sorry also for what you had to go through, you're really strong having to go through all that, big hugs :hugs:


----------



## Kandl123

caz_hills said:


> Morning girls,
> Some advice please - I've woken up (ERPC yesterday) and am feeling really hot. My face feels like it's burning. No pain really and very light bleeding but I'm a bit worried. Going to take my temperature now and see if it's up x

I'd ring the EPU if I was you, and see what they advise. Hopefully everything will be okay though. But it's better to be safe than sorry x


----------



## caz_hills

I called he early pregnancy unit. She was quite dismissive actually! Basically said it's probably a reaction to the process yesterday. She said it's too early to find an infection and so said just drink fluids and if I feel worse go to A&E. So I feel silly now calling but I'm still not feeling right today. Will just need to ride it out x


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## Kandl123

Sweety21 said:


> The worst is over. Still at hospital but, woke up from don't know how to I explain it a fantasy world.
> In the morning when doc put that metal thing in i really couldn't bear it and screamed in pain. It was really really painful. But, at actual operation when drugs were in I passed out in instant. I was in some different world totally weird but, at one point I remember being in something similar to inside ovary?
> I vomited few times and somehow I remember pressing bells how no idea. Just feeling little relaxed that it is over.
> Don't want this to happen to even enemies.
> Waiting for some more checks and then dinner, feeling really hungry. Want some coffee desperately.
> Will catch up on thread soon.

Hope everything went okay for you. Well good as it could be. How you feeling? You've been so strong going through this, especially as though you're their on your own too. I hope they let you home today so you can rest where you are comfortable. Thinking about you :hugs:


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## Kandl123

caz_hills said:


> I called he early pregnancy unit. She was quite dismissive actually! Basically said it's probably a reaction to the process yesterday. She said it's too early to find an infection and so said just drink fluids and if I feel worse go to A&E. So I feel silly now calling but I'm still not feeling right today. Will just need to ride it out x

Don't let some stupid woman on phone make you feel silly for calling. You're not a doctor or nurse so you wasn't to know it's too early for an infection. You was ringing to be on the safe side. Just take it easy and rest, see how you feel in a few hours. If you feel the same then it's better to get checked over than not. Least you will know everything is okay then


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## caz_hills

Thanks Kandi. We have my son's new teacher coming over at 1150 and thankfully my in laws are looking after him today as I don't feel awful but not brilliant. Will rest up x


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## Justme43

Sweety21 said:


> The worst is over. Still at hospital but, woke up from don't know how to I explain it a fantasy world.
> In the morning when doc put that metal thing in i really couldn't bear it and screamed in pain. It was really really painful. But, at actual operation when drugs were in I passed out in instant. I was in some different world totally weird but, at one point I remember being in something similar to inside ovary?
> I vomited few times and somehow I remember pressing bells how no idea. Just feeling little relaxed that it is over.
> Don't want this to happen to even enemies.
> Waiting for some more checks and then dinner, feeling really hungry. Want some coffee desperately.
> Will catch up on thread soon.

Sending you cyber hugs and wishing you a speed recovery.


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## Vicky_92

Sweety glad it's over for you. Go easy on yourself pet :hugs:


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## caz_hills

Sweety I hope you recover well. Stay strong x


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## LoraLoo

caz_hills said:


> I called he early pregnancy unit. She was quite dismissive actually! Basically said it's probably a reaction to the process yesterday. She said it's too early to find an infection and so said just drink fluids and if I feel worse go to A&E. So I feel silly now calling but I'm still not feeling right today. Will just need to ride it out x

I'm really surprised at that. They were taking my temp and blood pressure etc every 2 hours afterwards. Hope you are feeling ok as can be x


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## caz_hills

Thanks I sort of expected more but I guess this is so common that unless I'm literally burning up then it's normal to them. It's probably me over reacting. I've tested a lot today so feel stronger. Still not been hit by the mass of emotion like last time but hoping I will be ok. Now worried I won't emotionally feel it and will feel guilty - I'm my own worst enemy x


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## Kandl123

Just seen this picture on Facebook. How true is it? People who have never had a miscarriage will never understand
 



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## joo

Caz if it makes you feel any better I felt like I'd been in a fight when I woke up the next day; my skin felt bruised and tender everywhere, even my face! Then the next day I felt a bit hot, sore throat like I was coming down with something, and panicked I'd managed to get an infection. All was fine. I think it's more like burning a fever and feeling like you have the flu and/or intense or localised abdominal pain. Just relax, catch up on rest and keep hydrated and clean and hopefully you'll be ok. If you feel worse, give them another call and don't feel silly for it as that's what they're there for :hugs: xx


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## Vicky_92

Hey ladies hope you are all doing Ok. 
Caz I really how you start to feel better soon :hugs: 

I posted this on another thread. But want to post it here too......Think something is going on with my hormones today, I have felt ok (well not crying) the past couple of days. But I feel now like my heads about to explode I want to be pregnant again, and I want it now! I've been keen to start TTCing again and I did accept it will obviously take a while but today I just feel like I can't wait. I know I'm probably making no sense


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## Kandl123

Back to work for me today 9-6. I'm not ready at all. I'm currently sat in the works car park crying :cry:


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## LoraLoo

Vicky it makes perfect sense, I was exactly the same x


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## LoraLoo

Kandl123 said:


> Back to work for me today 9-6. I'm not ready at all. I'm currently sat in the works car park crying :cry:

Huge hugs hun &#128542; xx


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## Sunshine14

Kandl123 said:


> Back to work for me today 9-6. I'm not ready at all. I'm currently sat in the works car park crying :cry:

Sorry to hear that Kandl hope it goes ok hun. First day back is the worst take it easy xx


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## Sunshine14

Hi ladies how are you all?

I should probably know this after 3 mcs in a row but when is it ok to dtd again. I am 9/10 days after natural mc and my bleeding has tapered right off to spotting - is it ok to dtd? I feel like I want to get close to my honey again but am nervous there might still be a chance of infection?


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## Kandl123

Well j lasted 50 minutes at work and I walked out. Probably a big mistake, I could lose my job. But I couldn't cope :cry:


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## Sunshine14

Ahh Kandl big hugs hun - did your boss know u were pg hun? U shud make sure someone sympathetic knows u are recovering from a mc. I work in hr and they can't fire you if u tell them the reason for it. Can u ring and speak to someone sympathetic this morning and tell them the reason you walked out?


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## Vicky_92

Ack kandl :hugs: thinking about you lots xx


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## Kandl123

Sunshine14 said:


> Ahh Kandl big hugs hun - did your boss know u were pg hun? U shud make sure someone sympathetic knows u are recovering from a mc. I work in hr and they can't fire you if u tell them the reason for it. Can u ring and speak to someone sympathetic this morning and tell them the reason you walked out?

One of my duty manager knows that's it. My manager is away on holiday at the moment, it was the other duty (that doesn't know) who was in charge. She snapped at me for no reason at all. So I just said "I'm not putting up with that" and walked out. Soon as I had gone, the duty manager who knows rung me and asked why I did it (obviously the other 1 ring her to tell her) so I explained what happened. She's told me to ring work and say sorry for walking out. 
So I'm going to do that, and see what she says. I hope I don't lose my job, but i really don't want people at work knowing, well especially that duty manager cause I don't like her and she will tell everyone. It's not her business to tell


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## LoraLoo

I'm sorry kandl- can you get signed off Sick for a few days? 
Perhaps just tell duty manager that you are having personal or medical problems that you are struggle to deal with and leave it at that- you don't have to go into detail xx


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## Kandl123

Well I've just rung her and said sorry, told her I had a lot on my mind but I don't want to talk about it. She was actually quite understanding and told me to get a self cert from doctors because I'd been off all week? (Even though I only work 3 days a week) I didn't think I'd need one. So hopefully everything will be okay. Manager will probably have words with me when he's back next Thursday, but hopefully it'll be okay


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## amytrisha

Sorry Kandi :( I agree with Lora x


My bleeding slowed to an almost stop yesterday but now it's back &#128529; I'm glad it's started back up because I know I'm still retaining that bit and I really don't wanna have to go back to the hospital! 

I'm feeling a bit better emotionally, kind of trying to give myself things to look forward to if that makes sense. It's a distraction xx


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## Sunshine14

Kandl123 said:


> Well I've just rung her and said sorry, told her I had a lot on my mind but I don't want to talk about it. She was actually quite understanding and told me to get a self cert from doctors because I'd been off all week? (Even though I only work 3 days a week) I didn't think I'd need one. So hopefully everything will be okay. Manager will probably have words with me when he's back next Thursday, but hopefully it'll be okay

Glad she was understanding hun when u rang. I think she is getting a bit confused as you can't get a 'self' cert from the doctor. You can self certify for the first part of sickness but after 7 days you can get a 'medical' certificate. If u go to your doctor they can sign you off for as long as u need to recover going forward. If you explain the situation i.e. that u went back to work too early they shudder hopefully also back date the cert to date of mc if u want (my doctor did for me). Be prepared they will ask what u want written on the cert but u can say personal medical situation or something. Hope this helps x


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## LoraLoo

I'm glad she was understanding kandl. Deff have a chat with Dr if you need more time off. 
Amytrisha was day are you on now? I'm on day 19. My tests have just gone negative but I'm still having random bouts of bleeding?! 

I'm also a bit concerned that I've not heard from the funeral directors. 
We lost Eden on 17th, she went to Manchester for a post mortem on 24th, and I've heard nothing since? &#128533; starting to worry a bit- surely she would be back by now? Xx


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## Sunshine14

I wouldn't worry Lora maybe the bank holiday last Monday delayed things? Can u ring them Monday for an update did they give you a contact number hun?


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## LoraLoo

I'm not sure who I ring, the ward I delivered baby or the hospital mortuary? &#128533; or will she go straight to funeral directors? 
Cant arrange burial or anything until she's back x


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## amytrisha

Day 8 of bleeding, a lot came away on day 2 but I found out on Wednesday I'm still retaining 4cm of placenta so want that to come away! 

I think the spotting on n off is normal I spotted for a long time with my last MC 

I'd probably ring the funeral director and see if they know or if they at least know who you can ring. I hope you get to lay your baby to rest soon Lora &#128150; xx


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## caz_hills

Loraloo - I'd probably call the funeral director and the hospital - see who knows. Can't be bad to call both in case. I'm so sorry you're having to chase.

Kandi - like sunshine I'm in HR too. As she said they can't fire you if they know it's pregnancy related. You did the right thing calling and explaining. When I bled with my last pregnancy I feared a miscarriage and I walked out of the office to go to A and E. I called a colleague and told her and they were totally fine. Just maybe explain to one of the managers you like or maybe HR and I'm sure they will be sympathetic.

Day two after my ERPC and wow the pain really has started now. Been in agony last night and today. Yesterday I thought I had got away without pain but probably the pain killers they gave me in hospital were still in me. Cramps are so painful today. Thankfully Hubble has spent the morning with our boy and the in laws are taking him to the park now. I'm so lucky to have family around me - God knows how I'd cope without them as the pain has been so sharp. My son has been so sweet - he didn't know I was pregnant so I've told him I've got a sore tummy and he has been cuddling me loads and we have been lying reading books so we can be together. He says he misses me - going out with the in laws today - and it breaks my heart, I've lost a baby this. Week and now my son can't have proper mummy time either &#55357;&#56851;


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## Sunshine14

Lora if it was me I would brace myself for getting passed around by them and then ring all of them until until get ur answers. Big hugs ur having to go thru this now after the loss of little Eden x

Kandl hope ur ok and getting some rest after the stress of this morning x

Amytrisha hope that last bit comes out naturally hun. Have you tried drinking raspberry leaf tea (u can get it at Holland & Barrett) it can help to gently contract the utuerus and might help avoid medical intervention x

Caz big hugs to u the recovery after mc is horrible xxx hope you get the pain under control and feel better quickly x

I'm cd10 & trying to work out when u can dtd again internet seems to have conflict info.


----------



## Kandl123

I'm feeling much better now thankyou. Well hopefully she will take it no further and not say anything. But about the sick note.. So for the first 7 days you don't have to take any note into work to say why you was off? I wish I could stay off longer because I would. But I'm not entitled to sick pay as I don't earn enough (only on a 16 hr contract minimum wage) 

Lora, I really hope you get some answers soon. Keep us updated x


----------



## Sweety21

Kandl, so sorry for the whole thing that happened, hopefully they will understand and you will continue with your work. I agree with other ladies about taking more time off if you need it.

Lora, i don't know much about it but, just wanted to say hopefully you will get your answers soon. I would bug them all if needed.

Amytrisha, hope the last bits comes out with ease for you. take good rest.

Afm, I have been crying alot guessing it's hormones crashing thing. I keep on getting the images of operation and in which condition I was at hospital. It seems kind of shhock for me. Have had arguments with Hubby for no reason but, we are talking again. 
Not much of bleeding just few drops here and there. I was kinda expecting alot but, is it because I had D&C that I am not bleeding alot?


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## amytrisha

Some people bleed a lot and some don't Sweety from what I read when I was researching my options. Sorry your having a hard time at the moment :( I hope you start feeling better soon :hugs:


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## Sweety21

Thanks Amytrisha. I think I will take it as blessing then. No bleeding is good as long as it is normal. hugs to you.


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## elliecain

I'm really sorry that you have all had to go through this.
I miscarried yesterday just 1 week after getting my first ever bfp. I'm so sad and my hormones are all over the place. 
I woke up at 6am and felt wet. When I saw blood, I leapt out of bed and ran to the bathroom, where the blood gushed out of me. I rang 111 and they sent a paramedic out. She checked me out and told me to see doctor when they opened as there was nothing to be done in hospital at that stage.
I went to doctor and he sent me to the EPAC who did a scan and confirmed no more baby. I've been bleeding for 2 days now, though it's a lot less this evening and the cramps have started to ease.
I keep bursting into tears out of nowhere. One minute I'm ok and then suddenly something sets me off. I'd wanted this baby for so long and was in love already. I can't come to terms with not being a mummy any more. 
On Monday, I'm going back to work. I'm a teacher. I'm worried that I'll fall apart in the middle of a lesson, but hoping the distraction will be good for me.
I want to be pregnant again asap. I am desperate for this horrible thing to be over, although that makes me feel guilty for wishing this baby totally gone.


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## LoraLoo

Morning ladies. How is everyone today? 

It's 3 years today since we found out our baby Alfie had died at 18 weeks. It's also 5 years today since hubby's little brother killed himself. So pretty rubbish day for me in the respect.

Physical wise seems the bleeding has finally stopped. Just hoping for a positive opk now!


----------



## Sunshine14

Kandl123 said:


> I'm feeling much better now thankyou. Well hopefully she will take it no further and not say anything. But about the sick note.. So for the first 7 days you don't have to take any note into work to say why you was off? I wish I could stay off longer because I would. But I'm not entitled to sick pay as I don't earn enough (only on a 16 hr contract minimum wage)
> 
> Lora, I really hope you get some answers soon. Keep us updated x

Kandl yes that is correct hun. You can self certify for the first part of sickness (your company should have a self certify form for you to fill in). The doctor usually only gives a cert if you're off for 7 days or more xx


----------



## Sunshine14

Sweety21 said:


> Kandl, so sorry for the whole thing that happened, hopefully they will understand and you will continue with your work. I agree with other ladies about taking more time off if you need it.
> 
> Lora, i don't know much about it but, just wanted to say hopefully you will get your answers soon. I would bug them all if needed.
> 
> Amytrisha, hope the last bits comes out with ease for you. take good rest.
> 
> Afm, I have been crying alot guessing it's hormones crashing thing. I keep on getting the images of operation and in which condition I was at hospital. It seems kind of shhock for me. Have had arguments with Hubby for no reason but, we are talking again.
> Not much of bleeding just few drops here and there. I was kinda expecting alot but, is it because I had D&C that I am not bleeding alot?

Sweetly so sorry for your loss hun xxx hope your recovery is quick xx


----------



## Sunshine14

Loraloo sorry for the day that's in it. Sounds like a tough day to get thru I hope you spent it with loved ones big hugs to you xxx

Ellie sorry for your loss hun hope your recovery is quick xx


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## LoraLoo

I know it's a really personal question, so feel free to skip past. I was wondering if anyone's ovulated yet since their loss? Xx


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## Kandl123

Hope everyone is okay today. & Lora, I haven't no, but I'm intrigued to know how long it has took for people to ovulate since having a mc Xx


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## LoraLoo

Me too. I know everyone is different, was just looking for the average time I guess- I wish it'd hurry up, I hate this waiting. Xx


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## amytrisha

Good luck ttc Lora, hope it happens for you soon xx


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## Kandl123

How long was you bleeding for Lora after you delivered your beautiful girl? Fx for you on your ttc journey, I really hope it happens for you soon xx


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## Kandl123

Update on my work; I bumped into someone I work with today while I nipped to the shop to buy some milk. This person is only 20 and looks up to me and talks to me about any problems or anything. They don't know what I've been going through or why I've been off work. But they told me today, that Tuesday (when I rung in sick saying I won't be in while Saturday) 2 people were slagging me off saying "how can she phone in sick when she doesn't even know she's going to be sick that day" one of them was the duty manager I don't really get along with and other one I actually thought we were "friends". Why butch about me when they don't know the story!? Horrible people. If they so much as say anything to my face, they'll know exactly what I think!

I now have it in my head too, I think this duty manager has told me I need a "self cert sick note" just so she can nosy why I have been off. She is that type of person. So nosy into other people's lives then goes around telling others. So I'm going to go one better... I'm going to go to the doctors tomorrow and ask for an official medial sick note and tell her to put on it "personal medical issues" like sunshine advised me to :). That way, she's got her sick note and won't be none the wiser why I've been off! &#128527;


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## joo

Loraloo i don't know if i have ovulated, i don't use opks or temp yet, but that was my next thing to try if i didn't get pregnant that month (i think it was my 7th cycle). 

Ladies who have gone through this before - how long was it until you got first AF and was it normal or was it heavier or more painful than normal ? I am going on holiday next week and my period tracker puts my AF next week (Typical!!). I have packed pads and tampons, but just worrying now about it being awful while i'm away. I usually bleed for 7 or 8 days, with the 1st 3 days being super heavy, don't know if I can cope with any worse than that !!


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## caz_hills

Back at work today - first day back in two weeks as I worked at home when I found out the news. Put my make up on, first time I've tried and made an effort in so long. Feels ok to be going back - good for me to take my mind off it to be honest. How is everyone today? My cramps are still sore but the painkillers are helping. Emotionally I'm feeling ok I think - a bit snappy yesterday and distracted but not as bad as last time x


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## LoraLoo

joo said:


> Loraloo i don't know if i have ovulated, i don't use opks or temp yet, but that was my next thing to try if i didn't get pregnant that month (i think it was my 7th cycle).
> 
> Ladies who have gone through this before - how long was it until you got first AF and was it normal or was it heavier or more painful than normal ? I am going on holiday next week and my period tracker puts my AF next week (Typical!!). I have packed pads and tampons, but just worrying now about it being awful while i'm away. I usually bleed for 7 or 8 days, with the 1st 3 days being super heavy, don't know if I can cope with any worse than that !!

With my previous mc at 18 weeks I ovulated after 24 days and I got AF 6 weeks after the mc.
I'm now on day 21 since recent loss and no ovulation as yet.

Kandl that's out of order- I think that needs a written complaint to your manager. They have no right to be discussing the reasons you are off sick and openly doubting them and slagging you off. I'm furious for you! 

Caz, I hope today goes ok as it can be- hopefully work will keep your mind occupied and the day will fly by. 

Xxx


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## Kandl123

Fingers crossed it happens for you soon Lora

I'll just wait and get them on their own and ask them about it. See what their reaction is. 

Caz, I hope work goes okay for you and keeps your mind busy 

How is everyone else today? I'm currently sat in doctors waiting for my sick note for last week. But I'm feeling okay as I can be. I don't know why, but every time I leave the house I feel like everyone is staring at me thinking "that's her that had a miscarriage" :cry:


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## Mrsmac02

Gosh, I've not been on for two days and I've missed tonnes! Hope you ladies are getting on ok this week? 

KandI - I've been signed off for three weeks by my GP. I've told my manager who is thankfully very very supportive (she's been trough it herself). Once you get a sick note, I'd then complain to HR, that's a shocking way for colleagues (especially a duty manager) to behave!! 

Hope you're ok, sounds like I felt on Friday (big hormone crash and I felt like I didn't want to leave the house for fear of people staring!!) 
Elliecain, so so sorry you're going through this too hon. Were you quite early on? Doesn't make it any easier I know. Hopefully you are not in too much pain now and are starting to recover emotionally. Take care of yourself and hopefully you'll have a happy healthy baby in the not so distant future! xx



elliecain said:


> I'm really sorry that you have all had to go through this.
> I miscarried yesterday just 1 week after getting my first ever bfp. I'm so sad and my hormones are all over the place.
> I woke up at 6am and felt wet. When I saw blood, I leapt out of bed and ran to the bathroom, where the blood gushed out of me. I rang 111 and they sent a paramedic out. She checked me out and told me to see doctor when they opened as there was nothing to be done in hospital at that stage.
> I went to doctor and he sent me to the EPAC who did a scan and confirmed no more baby. I've been bleeding for 2 days now, though it's a lot less this evening and the cramps have started to ease.
> I keep bursting into tears out of nowhere. One minute I'm ok and then suddenly something sets me off. I'd wanted this baby for so long and was in love already. I can't come to terms with not being a mummy any more.
> On Monday, I'm going back to work. I'm a teacher. I'm worried that I'll fall apart in the middle of a lesson, but hoping the distraction will be good for me.
> I want to be pregnant again asap. I am desperate for this horrible thing to be over, although that makes me feel guilty for wishing this baby totally gone.


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## LoraLoo

Kandl I feel the same. I feel like I'm known now as the one who's babies keep dying &#128530;

I was dreading today's first school run, but as it happens the whole house has had a sickness bug so they can't go back Til tomorrow. I get an extra day but I'm dreading seeing people. 

I hope the Dr is understanding. Xx


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## LoraLoo

Anyone else feel like they can't concentrate on much? I must have about 7 books lying around that ive started reading, but keep getting distracted and just Lose interest after a few pages. 
I'm usually pretty good with housework etc but I just have piles of washing and ironing, piles to put away, I just can't seem to get motivated to do anything x


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## Kandl123

So it's not just me then!? I wouldn't dare tell anyone else that except you ladies! Just got a sick note and she's signed me off for the rest of the week. I didn't want it, but she thinks I need it


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## Kandl123

LoraLoo said:


> Anyone else feel like they can't concentrate on much? I must have about 7 books lying around that ive started reading, but keep getting distracted and just Lose interest after a few pages.
> I'm usually pretty good with housework etc but I just have piles of washing and ironing, piles to put away, I just can't seem to get motivated to do anything x

This is me 100%. I don't wanna do anything other than lay on sofa. Normally my house needs to be spotless, and I won't stop until it is. but recently I couldn't care less what it looks like. I've just been to doctor about it all.. She's signed me off for the rest of the week and if I feel no better then to go back. She thinks it could be depression :hugs: to you


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## amytrisha

Joo mine last time came 6 weeks later, it was slightly heavier but no more pain than usual. I hope it eases off and you have a lovely holiday :hugs:

Yup Lora very distracted. I just can't be bothered to do anything.

Hope your first day back at work goes well Caz!


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## amytrisha

Glad you got the rest of the week off Kandi, rest up! 

Do any of you know if you can unsubscribe from threads? I stupidly comment on loads of March due date threads and now they keep popping up in my Subscriptions :(


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## LoraLoo

You can Amytrisha as I did the same. Can't remember how though- I think I had to switch to the desk top version x


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## amytrisha

I'll have a nosey now thank you x


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## Mrsmac02

Glad it's not just me who has no get up and go!! I'm due back at work next Monday and already dreading having to get my brain back into gear. But think I'm coming out the other side now. I'm trying to plan things to look forward to, like the Seotember weekend, an awards dinner I've got and my wedding anniversary in October and dare I say it, Christmas! 

Glad you got signed off KandI, hopefully you'll feel better next week. It really is a physical and emotional roller coaster, it takes time xx


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## Mrsmac02

Sorry I know this is a really personal question (and might have already been discussed - I haven't looked through all the posts!) but has anyone dtd yet? 

I stopped bleeding Friday/Saturday so did on Saturday night after a fair few vinos - it was a bit weird :blush:


----------



## Kandl123

Mrsmac02 said:


> Sorry I know this is a really personal question (and might have already been discussed - I haven't looked through all the posts!) but has anyone dtd yet?
> 
> I stopped bleeding Friday/Saturday so did on Saturday night after a fair few vinos - it was a bit weird :blush:

I haven't yet & I don't even feel like it. It's the last thing on my mind. Just feels like it's be another chore. And sex shouldn't really feel like a chore. I hope my drive comes back soon though :haha:


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## LoraLoo

We have dtd. I think first time was about 10 days afterwards. It was ok. Think first times always a bit weird. Hubby was worried he would hurt me but it was fine. Things have been normsl since 

Tbh my biggest worry was that hubby would avoid it. After our first mc he didn't want to try again and took a lot of persuading, after this mc he first said no more, but he seems really on board now so I'm just happy with that side of things, it makes it easier for me to handle.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Kandl123 said:


> I haven't yet & I don't even feel like it. It's the last thing on my mind. Just feels like it's be another chore. And sex shouldn't really feel like a chore. I hope my drive comes back soon though :haha:

The wine helped KandI! :rofl: 

I was worried about that too LoraLoo. But DH seems on board too. I think he's worried about it happening again so has said we should maybe try to avoid ov the first cycle, which is think is maybe a sensible idea. I need to get my folic acid back up again I think x


----------



## LoraLoo

I've restarted asprin and folic acid but I've still not got round to getting the higher dose from Dr- it's on my never ending to do list lol.


----------



## Kandl123

Mrsmac02 said:


> Kandl123 said:
> 
> 
> I haven't yet & I don't even feel like it. It's the last thing on my mind. Just feels like it's be another chore. And sex shouldn't really feel like a chore. I hope my drive comes back soon though :haha:
> 
> The wine helped KandI! :rofl:
> 
> I was worried about that too LoraLoo. But DH seems on board too. I think he's worried about it happening again so has said we should maybe try to avoid ov the first cycle, which is think is maybe a sensible idea. I need to get my folic acid back up again I think xClick to expand...

Think I need to have a few drinks too then haha. I'm worried about it happening again and that's the reason we're waiting for my first af to come before trying again. I got pregnant last time straight away after having implant removed and its scared me that's why I had a mc because it was so soon. But doctor has assured me that isn't the case. If we give our bodies time to recover I think it will be for the best in the long run, even though the waiting to try won't be nice and will feel like a life time


----------



## Mrsmac02

Yeah I agree - I know they say you're more fertile for the first six months but part of me thinks it was something to do with my diet that i mc. I definitely need to eat better and get more exercise (and probably cut down on the wine!) so we are going to avoid ov time this month. 

The hospital also told me you're statistically less likely to mc again after a mc but there are so many of us who have had more than one mc that it's always going to be a worry. This is my second, although the first was before I met my husband, so it's quite frightening to think it could happen again x


----------



## LoraLoo

I was also told one mc doesn't make you any more likely to have another, but I did and so the thought of losing another is terrifying isn't it? 

It took us 9 months after losing Eve to fall pregnant, and 5 months after Alfie, so I'm keen to start ttc straight away and won't be waiting for first Af. 
It's ironic that Eve, Alfie and Eden were all 'whoops' babies and not tried for.
Sometimes think the stress of ttc makes it harder to conceive. I actually detest ttc.


----------



## LoraLoo

Ok just got the text from midwife to say eden is back from post mortem. CN arrange burial. She will let me know soon as results are back.


----------



## amytrisha

Oh Lora I'm so glad they've gotten back to you xx


----------



## bubbles82

Hi ladies,

I'm not really sure where I belong at the moment, but hope you don't mind me joining in here. (mrsmac I think I remember you from last time I was on the forum in 2012/2013 when I had my daughter?)

Anyway, I had an early loss with my first pregnancy in 2012, then got pregnant pretty much straight after with my daughter who is 2 next week. We decided to start TTC again last month and expected it to possibly be a long and difficult journey again, but were so surprised to get a BFP 1st try, found out 20th August. I had a bad feeling about the pregnancy from day 1 the same as I did with my first loss, but things seemed to be going ok, I got past the stage I'd got to first time round, managed to step away from the obsessive testing and temping once I'd seen the tests progressing well, and even booked in with the midwives (although still awaiting the appointment letter arriving).

I started spotting last Thursday when I should've been 5+3. Didn't seem that bad at first but I phoned EPU for advice on Friday, earliest they could see me was yesterday morning when I had a scan and they could just see a gestational sac measuring between 5-6 weeks. No fetal pole or yolk sac. They didn't seem concerned at all and told me to come back for a follow up scan on the 21st, 15 days later. This seemed such a long time to wait in limbo not knowing either way, so I managed to get it brought forward to the 17th. But today the bleeding has got a bit heavier, and I took anther digital which has gone back to 1-2 weeks when it should show 3+. I actually feel a sense of relief seeing this as it seems to confirm my gut feeling that things are over this time round, but I'm just so confused as this is so different to my first loss which came on suddenly with strong cramps and a lot of bright red blood. This is mainly brown spotting, and not much in the way of cramping, which has been going on for 5 days now. I'm kind of worried that it's going to suddenly get very painful any minute but I'm still waiting not knowing when. I just want to know 100% I've lost the pregnancy and be able to start moving on. To make things worse I confided in my best friend that I was expecting as we are due to go away with her and her partner and son for a few days next week, and she just got her BFP and would've been due two weeks after me, so it should be an extra exciting time when I'm now going to have it in my face through her whole pregnancy knowing it should've been me too. Obviously I'm happy for her but sad for me. Finding it hard with only really being able to speak to my husband too when he doesn't really know what to say, and the things he does say I'm finding quite hurtful even though they're not intended that way, such as it being ok if we have another loss as we weren't trying as long as my friend, or we still haven't had as many as another couple of friends who have had three losses before their daughter. None of these things are any consolation to me right now.

Sorry for the rant, just wanted to explain my situation a bit, still feeling stuck in limbo although I'm pretty sure this little bean has gone. Will probably be trying again as soon as we can, as age is not on our side, and we conceived our daughter straight after the last loss so I know it's possible to have a healthy pregnancy straight away.

Good luck to the rest of you trying soon and so sorry for all of your losses x


----------



## LoraLoo

Hi bubbles. Sorry you're in limbo. Hope you're little bean stays put- do you have another scan booked in?


----------



## bubbles82

LoraLoo said:


> Hi bubbles. Sorry you're in limbo. Hope you're little bean stays put- do you have another scan booked in?

I'm 99% sure I've already lost this one, follow up scan is booked for sept 17th, the day after my daughter's 2nd birthday, but thinking I might've passed everything by then so maybe not much point going if that's the case, not sure.


----------



## LoraLoo

I'm sorry hun. It's rubbish isn't it x


----------



## Mrsmac02

Hi bubbles, I remember you too! DS was two last week so we were on the forums at the same time last time round :) 

So so sorry you're going through this - I spent four weeks going back and forth to hospital for scans and the day I finally got confirmation it was a mmc, I started bleeding that afternoon. The limbo part is absolutely awful, I really feel for you. 

I had a feeling from the day I get a BFP that things weren't right - it was a really feint line for days, even when I was like 19/20 dpo and I never got passed 2-3 on a CBD. I just 'knew' things weren't right so I booked a private scan which showed I was apparently two weeks behind (I was charting and using OPKs so I know for sure when I ovulated which confirmed it to me. Shame I couldn't convince the NHS midwives I was sure of my dates!!) 

But in your case, it really could be nothing. I hope and have everything crossed all's ok, could even be a subchrionic haematoma xx

Keep us posted xx


----------



## Mrsmac02

LoraLoo said:


> Ok just got the text from midwife to say eden is back from post mortem. CN arrange burial. She will let me know soon as results are back.

So glad you got some news hon. Sending hugs xx


----------



## Vicky_92

Hey ladies. Sorry I haven't commented in a while, when working lots and the rush of getting DS back to school. Hope yous are all doing well :hugs: 

Hey bubbles I'm so sorry your going though this :hugs:


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## LoraLoo

Hope he's enjoyed being back at school Vicky- mine go back tomorrow. 

I was just lying in bed thinking about the day we lost the baby. I'd had a full pain low down left for a couple of days. 
Before scan Dr checked me over-,when she pressed down it hurt. The baby had only died within 12 hours. They never told me what the pain was.

Did anyone else that had a mmc (not spontaneous) experience this type of pain? Can't help wondering if it was an infection or something that caused it.


----------



## Kandl123

LoraLoo said:


> Ok just got the text from midwife to say eden is back from post mortem. CN arrange burial. She will let me know soon as results are back.

So glad they've finally gotten back to you. Hope you're okay :hugs:


----------



## Vicky_92

Loraloo not at all lol, he doesn't like school, but he may get used to it. Although he likes his teacher so that's a plus this year. Glad they've finally got back to you about Eden :hugs:


----------



## Kandl123

So update from me, probably going to be a long rant. So apologies in advance!!

OH has been so weird today, taking things out on me. I ask him what's up and h shrugs it off. Then out of the blue he comes out with "we could of done more for that baby" I'm like what do you mean. He said I should of tested earlier than I did as I had pregnancy symptoms for weeks. I said even if I did, it wouldn't have changed anything. He was all "well we could of been mot careful" I told him I didn't do anything anyway what would effect baby. He said "you went on that ride with L" (was a little kiddies ride which I took my 4yo old) I said that wouldn't of effected it. He was all "well still you should of tested sooner" (I was testing every Monday but he didn't know that and if I told him tonight he wouldn't have believed me anyway) so I asked him what he was trying to say he went "nothing" so I said "yes you are, are you trying to say it's my fault I miscarried" he said no. 
But you tell me... What does it sound like to you? Sounds like he's trying to point finger to me some how!!! I told him how shit he was making me feel to which he replied "it's not all about you, I lost the baby too not just you" I was gobsmacked. I didn't say a word. But I felt like screaming to him "was you the one who carried the baby and lost all the blood, was you the one that had clots fall out of you, was you the one that had to have clots and tissue removed from you, was you the one that suffered all the physical pain!? And are you the one that's still bleeding!?!" NO YOURE NOT!!!! 
I really am so so so mad with him. 
He calmed down and said sorry after he's just heartbroken. But that doesn't stop me been mad still. I just accepted it to save an argument. But inside I'm mad! I feel like now, all this time he thinks it's my fault. Although he won't admit that!!!

Then don't get me started on ANOTHER issue with work!!!! My duty manager (who knows about the pregnancy and mc) rung me to tell me about yet another person slagging me off at work. Saying I should be sacked for walking out and I don't deserve my job!!! and I'll not keep going on and bore you with rest. But OH heard phone call (after out argument) and he's not happy. I wouldn't like to think he sees him outside of work &#128563;

Cannot wait until my manager is off holiday!!! I want words!!!


----------



## LoraLoo

Kandl that's terrible about your work. They're being very unprofessional let alone horrible and cruel. Some people are just heartless.

As for hubby... They really don't think before they speak sometimes do they? Sounds like he's just overthinking things and trying to find some reason to blame. I'm glad he's apologised, but I would be hurt too. I hope you can msybe talk a bit more tomorrow and clear the air a bit, you need each other more than ever at times like this x


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## Kandl123

Wonder if they'd be so heartless if they knew why I was off? Horrible people. & as for OH, I'll leave him to cool & speak to him tomorrow when he's done work x


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## Sunshine14

Sorry ur having trouble Kandl it's the last thing you need at the moment hun xxx ur duty manager shouldn't be bl**dy ringing u to tell u that though they shud know better as a manager! Re ur OH I know what he said is hard but I don't think he meant it - Blokes are just crap at communicating their emotions sometimes and I reckon he is just overwhelmed by how sad he feels and searching for answers as to why it happened and took it out on u hun. They don't have a clue what we go thru but u need each other at the moment to get over it so if u can hun forgive him & make it up xx If he does it again though then it's war lol

Lora so glad u got some information today on baby Eden hun xx

Bubbles Hoping it's not a loss hun fingers crossed for ur next scan xx

How is everyone else doing?


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## caz_hills

Oh kandi that's tough. People just don't understand. A few people at my work know and their reaction feels so under proportionate to me but I know if people haven't experienced it thy can't understand.

Had a huge crash last night - felt so emotionally awful, is this the hormone crash? X


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## Mrsmac02

Sorry your work colleagues are being suck d***s KandI! 

As for your hubby, sounds like he's going through the angry phase of grief. Doesn't excuse what he said but glad he's apologised, he obviously realises it was wrong to take it out in you. Hope you're ok - we all know there's absolutely nothing we could've done to change things but it still hurts and I personally still feel guilty, so I can imagine how hurt you must've felt at him saying those things x


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## Kandl123

Caz, I know exactly what you mean. People just don't seem to sympathise enough do they. But like the picture I posted the other day "to other people is was just a lost pregnancy, to me I lost my baby" and it's so true. Anyone who hasn't had a miscarriage will never understand the pain :hugs:


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## Kandl123

mrsmac, yeah he has apologised, so I'm letting it drop this once. If he starts again though, it's war!!!!


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## LoraLoo

What day are you on caz? I had a massive crash after about 5/6 days. I'd been doing ok Til then and then it just hit me. 

Hope everyone else is doing ok today? 

For me today was 'life returns to normal' day. Kids have gone back to school, loss dates/ anniversaries all out of the way now until Nov and Dec (Eves birthday Nd Anniversary) 

Was dreading the school run but all the parents were so lovely- I got lots of hugs and kind words do I feel much better about that. 

Hard to believe if be 18 weeks now and feeling little kicks. Gone in the blink of an eye x


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## LoraLoo

Hi ladies. I've had a visit from the bereavement midwife today and she said she would check on my initial bloods when she got back to hospital (not the pm / genetic tests eyc as they're 8 weeks) because ive been so worried this pain in my tummy was an infection and I passed on to baby.

She just rang me- all bloods and swabs clear. No infection, I am SO relieved I feel a weights been lifted off my shoulders.

Also some other test came back clear but she said that's usually assosiTed with early mc not late mc anyways. 

I'm really happy but also pretty apprehensive now for the pm results.


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## Mrsmac02

That's good KandI, he obviously knows what's good for him lol! X

LoraLoo, I'm so sorry, it's heartbreaking. Losing a baby at 10w was tough enough but to lose Eden so far along is unimaginable. :hugs: 
I'm so glad the other parents were so supportive, makes such a difference knowing there are people there with hugs and kind words x


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## Mrsmac02

Ps I've just done a test and it was completely negative. Relieved to know the slate is wiped clean so to speak. Just need to hope I start ovulating again now, that was my problem before! X


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## LoraLoo

Hurray to negative tests! 

It's strange to think just weeks ago we were praying for those lines to darker and now for them to be completely gone, isn't it? 

I've found the whole thing completely surreal. If it wasn't for my scan pics, I'd be doubting if I was ever pregnant at all. Xx


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## amytrisha

Glad your tests came back Clear Lora and yours negative MrsMac! 

I agree it is surreal going from pregnant to not pregnant then just carrying on like nothing's really happen it's so strange and feels weird. :hugs:

I have to test in 8 days hoping its negative bleeding is tapering off


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## Kandl123

Just caught up on this thread and seeing you've tested made me want to test... Probably a stupid idea of me as I shouldn't test while 21/9. But anyway, 8 days since I lost my baby and I got a :bfn: so weird how we was so happy for our positives now we're praying for our negatives. And I got it!! Now I cannot wait for ovulation to start and my af to come!!! :happydance:


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## LoraLoo

That's greaT kandl!!


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## Kandl123

I'm thinking af may arrive sooner than I originally thought now &I I hope it does. I never thought I'd hear myself say "I can't wait for my period to come!"


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## LoraLoo

In the same- ovulation or Af I just want one of the other here x


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## Kandl123

Did any of you ask your partner what they wanted when you mc? Did you ask for an answer on if they wanted to try for another child or not?


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## LoraLoo

My hubby got told we were trying again straight away &#128514; he didn't argue this time.


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## amytrisha

I'm glad Kandi!

Yeah we had a brief conversation but we agreed the same straight away x


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## Kandl123

We agreed straight away that we would try again. Last night when he was on one he said he wasn't sure. So I've asked again today, telling him I need to know what he wants. And guess what I got in reply "you're heartless, I haven't got over the loss of out first baby and you're making me decide on another, I hate you." His exact words :cry: I don't think anything could possibly bring me anymore down


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## caz_hills

Oh kandi that's so tough. It sounds like he is really struggling. Poor both of you.

My hubbie assumes straight away we will try again. I said if we miscarried again then j wouldn't want to try again. But now I do want to try again but need a little break of a month or so to recover x


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## Kandl123

He is, he's struggling ALOT, but why take it out on me? He should be supporting me. Not pushing me away x


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## LoraLoo

I think he's being unfair kandl. When our daughter Eve died at 5 days we ttc straight away. It wasn't because I didnt love her or wanted to replace her, because she will always be irreplaceable- just as Eden and Alfie are, but it doesn't take away that maternal longing for a baby in your arms. It was BECAUSE I loved them that I wanted another.


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## Kandl123

LoraLoo said:


> I think he's being unfair kandl. When our daughter Eve died at 5 days we ttc straight away. It wasn't because I didnt love her or wanted to replace her, because she will always be irreplaceable- just as Eden and Alfie are, but it doesn't take away that maternal longing for a baby in your arms. It was BECAUSE I loved them that I wanted another.

Amen to this!! This is what I said to him. But he simply thinks I'm "trying to replace the baby" which in not. They as you say are irreplaceable. MEN &#128545; x


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## amytrisha

Oh bless him, people grieve differently. I'd just remind him your grieving too and you need to do this together, he needs to talk about his feelings as do you Xx


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## Kandl123

I'm just going to leave him to it for now. I've enough to deal with without him x


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## LoraLoo

Maybe the breathing space will give him a bit of time to think. Bless you hun, like you say it's hard enough as it is. I'm sure he didn't mean it-,we just say things when we are hurting x


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## Kandl123

I know we do, that's why I'm leaving him to it for now. He's at his mums cooling down at the moment. He's not good with grief or emotions 

Can I just ask everyone.. Abit tmi, but when your bleeding slowed down did you ever get smelly discharge :blush: I'm kinda worried


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## LoraLoo

No not really hun, I think I'd ring Dr and mention it, might just be a bit if an infection x


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## Vicky_92

Ack kendl sorry to hear about your hubby :hugs: I had some minor issues with my other half too. Not as bad tho, feel so sorry for you! All I can say is we all deal with things in a different way.. But he shouldn't have said what he did.

Girls dunno what to think at the moment having tons of EWCM, but OPK is still showing I'm not Oing yet. Anyone any advice?


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## LoraLoo

I'm getting strange cm Vicky. It's almost like ewcm but not stretchy enough n tinged a funny colour- I think it's discharge from my loss still.

Saying that, I akways get ewcm for a couple of days before a positive opk so it could very well be in your case. What cd are you?


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## Vicky_92

I dunno haha. AF hasn't showed since the M/C so I'm lost in the cycle, I know I'm probably early for using OPK but it gives me something to keep me going, just trying to get myself busy in TTCing again. Thank you for replying loraloo hope your doing well considering the circumstances xx


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## LoraLoo

I'm exactly same I'm 3 weeks past loss and no Af so just doing opks and hoping for the best but no positive yet! Xx


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## Sunshine14

Kandl123 said:


> We agreed straight away that we would try again. Last night when he was on one he said he wasn't sure. So I've asked again today, telling him I need to know what he wants. And guess what I got in reply "you're heartless, I haven't got over the loss of out first baby and you're making me decide on another, I hate you." His exact words :cry: I don't think anything could possibly bring me anymore down

Oh Kandl u poor thing. I think he is a few stages behind u in grief hun & ur adjusting to the situation (because u have had to) and he is still trying to come to terms with it. Men bless em sometimes they are soo hard to work out!

Vicky I have the same thing hun I'm cd12 & got (sorry for tmi) blood tinged cm & negative opks soo frustrating.

Lora so glad u got information that it wasnt an infection hun xxx

I have a scan tomorrow to check mc is complete and then have to go back to work for the first time after mc - I'm dreading both.


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## LoraLoo

Sunshine I'd be dreading that too. Do they send you to the scan room on the ante natal clinic?! If so that's awful &#128542;
I hope work goes ok as it possibly can xx


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## amytrisha

Good luck sunshine x


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## Kandl123

I hope everything goes okay for you tomorrow sunshine. And I really really hope they don't send you to the antenatal for your scan.. And make you wait in a room of pregnant women. That would be cruel of them!!
I hope work goes okay for you too, you're very strong going to work after a scan x


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## Sunshine14

Thanks Lora and Amy x it's in the EPU the same place where they told me there was a hb at 7+2 weeks, then scanned me at 10.5 weeks and I saw teeny tiny baby lying on bottom of the sac. I'm dreading it.


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## Sunshine14

Thanks Kandl I have to go back tomorrow. I just have to try to get back to 'normal' if that makes sense. I am going to tell people I've had a chest infection but I'm worried I will be in tears when my nice colleagues (who know what's happened) ask me x


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## Kandl123

Yes I know what you mean. Normal as can be anyway. How long have you been off work now? If you need to cry, then let it out. Don't hold It back, and if you need to talk about it to the colleagues who know then do so, it might be nice for you to talk about it to someone else. If that makes sense x


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## Kandl123

I'm going to post a message I'm thinking about sending to my boss tomorrow (he's due back at work Thursday) im not going to leave it on long as I'll delete the post. (So please don't reply by "quoting" it) But for those of you who read it can you give me your honest opinions on it please. I'm just starting to get really worried about it all now. Don't get me wrong my manager is so laid back and he's wonderful but it's the people that's been bitching about me that makes me think it'll go further into the company


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## Kandl123

.


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## Sunshine14

Does he / she know u mc hun? I would keep it short and brief and not mention those f***ers. I would simply say following mc / serious medical situation u went back to work too early and had to leave and went to doctors as u weren't ready to go back. Don't get into the nasty he said she said hun xx


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## Kandl123

No he doesn't know I've had a mc. But he knows I was in hospital. He asked why, but I didn't wanna talk about it. I'll shorten it down abit then and I'll send it tomorrow. I wouldn't bother, but I just want to be the person that tells him. Not small minded people I work with x


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## Sunshine14

I think if u r ok with it? u shud say that ur telling him in confidence that u miscarried & then say ur sorry but u went back too early etc. They can't touch u if u tell him hun. If u say ur telling him in confidence or u want it kept confidential he cant tell anyone xxx he will definitely be on ur side then and not allowed to tell anyone xxx hope it goes ok xx


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## kakae

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't been on for a while. After my ERPOC and hospital stay I decided to take a weeks annual leave just to hang out with hubby and our daughter. It was so nice and just what I needed. I've been back at work a week and its fine. I'm glad to be in normal mode so to speak. I think I have ovulated this month but I have decided to wait a cycle before trying again so hopefully it happens quickly. I hope that you are all ok and slowly coming to terms with what has happened. We will all get our rainbow babies I'm sure of it xx


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## Mrsmac02

Hi kakae, glad you're feeling relaxed and back in normal mode now! I've been off for 2 weeks, going back Monday. I 'knew' for four weeks that I had a mmc but it took that long to diagnose so had to try and hold it together at the office all that time, so I was also needing some time off to recover! Do you feel like you're able to concentrate at work now? I'm really worried I just won't be able to get on with it. 

Sunshine - good luck today. Hope you're able to get some closure. I have my follow up at EPU next Tuesday and that's exactly what I'm hoping for, I want to move on now. Thankfully, our EPU is away from the main ultrasound dept so no one is visibly pregnant. 

KandI - really really hope your boss is understanding. What you've written sounds great but I agree with sunshine - and telling him might mean he's more sympathetic to why you walked out. Would you feel comfortable telling him in confidence as he isn't allowed to tell anyone xx


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## kakae

Hey Mrsmac02, yip work is fine. In all honesty I'm finding it easier now its done and I can move forward than when I was at work going for scans, blood tests, knowing but not officially knowing if that makes sense. I was off for two weeks too, one week sick leave and one annual leave. My boss has been amazing with all this sick leave considering two weeks prior I had a week off with my daughter in hospital with pneumonia.


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## kakae

I hope works goes well for you x


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## Kandl123

This just popped up on Facebook and it brought a tear to my eye. It'd make a beautiful tattoo I think, just a shame I'm not one for tattoos or I'd have it
 



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## Sweety21

I was mia for few days but, was just trying not to remember what happened. It's not possible but, I was able to divert my mind for some time.

Kakae, glad you took off for a week with family. It's really a good idea. I think&#12288;I should do that soon.

Mrsmac, I know it mst have been difficult to concentrate. But, glad you are feeling little better now. 

Kandl, beautiful. If i get a chance I will tattoo something too. Most probably a sakura.


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## LoraLoo

Kandl that's really lovely
Kakae I think fsniky times really important especially at times like this, I'm glad you enjoyed your time off and that being back at work is going well. 

How is everyone else? Nothing much to report from me. Still getting a pain in my tummy midwife said if still therein a week see gp.
Had no bleeding at all for about 2 days now that's the longest spell so far. Let's hope I don't see any more blood for a while (9 months preferably!)


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## kakae

I haven't got any tattoos yet but I really really want one but I'm too scared but I will one day. I want a dandelion with the 'wishes' coming out of it (like when you blow them), I want six veering off one way to signify my miscarriages and one (hopefully two!) veering off the other way slightly to signify two living children. I thought it up and then looked it up on pinterest and plenty of people before me thought it up too lol


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## LoraLoo

I used to have this as my cover pic on fb x
 



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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies - how are you all?

I went for the scan today but didn't get the hoped for closure MrsMac!. I have a 2cm piece of 'retained product of conception' (as they so charmingly called it on the paperwork). They said hopefully my body might have another big contraction to get it out or it might come out if I get an af. They said if I don't get af by six weeks to call and go for another scan. I'm soo pissed off that I spent 18 hours in pain mcing naturally only to have a tiny bit left aghhhhhh!!! The only good thing is at least I know not to expect af for a while and I'm not just in limbo waiting.

Hope everyone else had a better day than me xx


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## LoraLoo

Oh no sunshine in gutted for you! Like you say to go through all that and then have some left over...&#128530; can they not give you the tablets to help the last bit along? Xx


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## Sunshine14

Thanks Lora. She said the piece has to be 2cm squared (its 2cm long not squared) for them to give me tablets or surgery. I have to go back straight away if I get signs of infection (which I haven't thank god). I will just have to wait and see what happens (rolling my eyes). I suppose the only positive is that I can shovel more coq10 down my throat in the meantime in the hope that my next bfp is a healthy sticky one.


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## Mrsmac02

Oh FFS, never ending! That's so rubbish sunshine, really sorry this is dragging on so much for you :( 

When I went while I was still bleeding, I had a 4cm bit so I'll no doubt be in the same situation. 

Can I ask, what is coq10 and what does it do? X


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## LoraLoo

Mrsmac and sunshine, while you still had the retained tissue- are tests still positive?
I tested 2 days ago and it had the faintest line (that any normal non poas addict person would probably have called negative) but it was there- just so, and has been for about a week!


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## caz_hills

Oh sunshine I'm so sorry for you, you poor thing :( that's rubbish x

I'm feeling slightly more positive today. It's only six days since I had the procedure but it feels like a million years ago. How is that? I had to wait a week between scans and that went by in a month and this week has flown by. I think going back to work has helped as it def has taken my mind off things x


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## bubbles82

Hi ladies, finally managed to catch up with the thread again. Sounds like you're all going through such a tough time, I really feel for you all, but glad I feel like I've found where I belong on the forum for the time being. I had to have a brief venture into the first tri boards a few weeks ago, I don't know what it is about those ones but they don't seem to work well for me, and it was the same this time, there just seems to be so many unnecessarily rude people in there. 

Anyway, I'm still in limbo but not limbo as I'm pretty sure I'm miscarrying, waiting until next Thursday for my follow up scan. My appointment arrived in the post today for what should be my booking in appointment at the antenatal clinic which was a bit difficult to see knowing I probably won't be needing that now. And some big sister books I ordered for DD have started to arrive which I've just hidden away in a wardrobe. I've had a full week now of spotting, sorry if TMI but when I had my previous loss it was very obvious what was happening, it was kind of expected as I was charting and had a sudden temp drop that morning back below cover line. It started very suddenly with very painful cramps and very heavy bright red bleeding, which lasted for about two days, then tapered off over 4 days, so altogether it was just a bit longer than my normal period and very heavy and painful, then it was all over and I conceived my daughter 3 weeks later. This time round is completely different, my temp stayed elevated at first but is dropping but very gradually over the last few days, and the bleeding is rarely more than spotting, sometimes with small clots/pieces of tissue, and occasional small gushes of blood, but mostly just brown spotting. It's really getting me down now seeing blood every time I use the toilet, and I'm still unsure if it's just going to stay like this and eventually stop, or if the worst is sill to come when my temp finally drops back below cover line this time. I would've expected it to be worse this time as I was further along, but my previous loss was definitely far worse in terms of pain and bleeding. I'm worried this time is going to go on and take a long time to be over so I can start to move on.


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## Sunshine14

Sorry for what you're going through Bubbles I hope you get an answer soon hun it's horrible being in limbo x

Lora yes that is exactly what I get when I test hun. I have been testing every 2 days and it has been getting lighter each time. Earlier this week I dropped from 20iu tests to early 10iu tests and I tested this am before I went to hospital and the test is exactly the same as Monday's test no lighter. It's obviously not going to get any lighter until my body gets rid if that last piece! Did they offer you any follow up scan after baby Eden hun?

Mrs Mac coq10 is a supplement to help improve egg quality - it's supposed to refresh cells and help DNA and chromosomes. I'm taking 600mg per day and hoping it might get me the last good egg that I need to finish my family. It's kindof expensive but I bulk bought off of Amazon lol and it will be worth it if next time I see the hb and its a sticky healthy rainbow!


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## LoraLoo

No nothing, and in still getting this tummy ache on one side. Think I'll make an spot with gp- it's been 24 days now so getting a bit pissed off tbh! X


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## amytrisha

I was retaining 4cm of placenta apparently at my last scan Sunshine I know how frustrating it is going through all that to be told there's still some left. I've gotta test next week then ring them back. Praying its negative! 

Sorry your going through a rough time Bubbles xx

id definitely speak to the doctor Lora hopefully tests start coming up negative soon x


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## bubbles82

Hope you ladies are doing ok. I'm quite anxious now that I'll be holding onto small parts too rather than having a complete fresh start soon, still getting positive tests and my BBT is still above cover line. Feeling completely wiped out at the moment, I'm so tired all the time, went to bed at 8.30pm last night, woke up at 8.30am today and ready to head back to bed already again!


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## bubbles82

Could I just ask for some advice/opinions please?

It's my DD's 2nd birthday next week, and we had planned to take her out for the day somewhere, just me and DH. One of our friends has been kind of inviting herself along with her DH and DS for weeks even though we didn't really know where we were going and hadn't planned on taking anyone else. She wouldn't let it drop so in the end we just decided we may as well go somewhere with them too. We decided on a day at the zoo and then ended up finding a good deal for three days at a park with two nights in a luxury log cabin for all of us, so we booked that for next week over DD's birthday. This is the same couple who found out they were expecting a couple of weeks after us, and the only people who we confided in about our pregnancy, but only really because we had to as they were planning on the trip away involving a few drinks each night. 

Now we're pretty convinced we're in the middle of a long drawn out miscarriage (my follow up scan is the morning after we're due back home), we're not sure this trip with these people is a good idea. I wasn't keen anymore but didn't say anything as I didn't want to spoil it for anyone else, but DH said yesterday he doesn't want to go now as he thinks it would be awkward for them and for us. I don't really want to be away from home when I'm still expecting the bleeding and pain to get suddenly worse any minute, and although we're happy our friends are expecting, it's going to be difficult to be around them while they're so excited and we're obviously quite down and expecting bad news next week. 

I feel really bad for DD though that she should be having a nice time over her birthday, and for letting our friends down although of course they could still go, we're not bothered about the money we've lost.

Just wondering what anyone else would do or what anyone thinks?


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## LoraLoo

Bubbles I'd be the same. My heavily pregnant friend turned up unannounced on Sunday and it was like a smack in the face. Twice now we've been pregnant together and ive lost my baby and she kept hers. It's hard. 
I'd just cancel and just say you'd rather be closer to home at the moment, then book somewhere nice for your own little family in a couple of weeks time if you want to, huge hugs- it's such an awkward position to be in but I know personally I'd hate it and couldnt go x


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## bubbles82

Thanks chick, you're right it's probably best if we don't go, especially since DH has said he doesn't want to either. It's just really difficult for us to get time off work at the same time, we had this couple of weeks booked for a while, and I'm glad I'm not at work while this is going on but then I'm so annoyed at how our time off has turned out. At least DD is still too young to understand about her birthday. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to go back to work when I'm due back, depending how things go over the next couple of weeks, but really don't think there's anyone I could speak to there about what had actually happened, and I don't think I could lie my way through it either. I really hate how difficult this whole thing is in so many ways, as if the loss itself isn't bad enough.

Must be so tough for you having to go through it twice when your friend was expecting too, I keep thinking back to how grateful I was with our first loss that no one else needed to know about it, and we didn't know anyone else due around the same time. Now I have three friends all due around the same time I would've been, two are quite close friends and one of those lives on my street and works with me so I really can't get away from her if I feel I need to. Probably sounds silly but she was really struggling with TTC so I spent a long time giving her lots of advice about temping, OPKs, BD timing etc, and her first try after all my advice she is pregnant straight away and will probably be fine, yet I had to lose my baby. Don't know why I'm feeling bad about that at the moment, I keep feeling bad about strange things then feeling really guilty for even thinking about them.


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## LoraLoo

It was and still is really tough. Our daughters were born 3 months apart and mine died. I've had to witness every milestone of her child that mine should have taken, and now this. 
Just do that you feel is right hun, the best thing is to protect yourself at these times x


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## Sweety21

bubbles, if I were you. I will definitely cancel. It's really difficult to be with someone who is going to have baby and you going through loss. I had my sil giving us news about pregnancy when I was continuously trying to convince my husband for first baby for 5years. It was like a big slap in the face. I was Happy for her but, seeing her pregnant made me feel ridiculous.

Lora, did you receive any news from hospital about baby Eden? I am mia for few days so didn't see earlier posts. 

Btw, ladies. I just had a meltdown because I just took pregnancy test exactly after 1week of D&C and my line is still very dark. I just sat there crying. Was wondering how many days or weeks will I have my hcg go below 5? I have stopped bleeding/spotting. And again how much truth is there for hcg to go down to zero in order to have ovulation and periods?


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## LoraLoo

Sweety post mortem results won't be for another 6-8 weeks but all my initial bloods and swabs came back clear so no infection from me etc.

Re the tests- it has taken 3 weeks for mine to go negative. Im still having some brown tinged discharge I'm on day 25. I have not had a positive opk yet. 

I know how frustrating and upsetting it is to keep seeing those bloody 2 lines it's like a cruel joke 'this is what you could have had!' Xx


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## Kandl123

Sweety, I had my mc on 31/8. Was bleeding up until 8/9.. I spotted slightly on that day. I did a pregnancy test out of curiosity (even though I was advised not to do one until 21/9) and it was negative. So mine only took 8 days, it was sad to see a bfn, but also made me happy too. I've stopped bleeding totally now and I THINK I may have ovulated too. So I'm hoping my af comes in next 14 days. I know it'll be frustrating seeing those two lines but both nurse and doctor told me it can take up to 3 weeks to go. Any longer than 3 weeks then there could be signs of problems x


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## Mrsmac02

Sweety, that's so frustrating. I started spotting on 25th August, passed the bulk on 28th August and stopped bleeding on 5th Sept. 

Did an Internet cheapie test earlier this week and it appeared negative. But those tests didn't show a BFP when I was actually pregnant so I'm going to try a FRER later and see. 

Can you ring EPU? They might be able to out your mind at rest that it can take a while for HCG to drop (I'm not sure but hopefully they can reassure you that that's the case!) xx


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## LoraLoo

Also worth bearing in mind once tests go negative it'll take a couple more days to get out of your blood.

I feel really down today ladies &#128532; not that any day following the loss has been particularly fun. Just feel really teary and fed up with life in general. Xx


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## Kandl123

Thought I'd also just update everyone about my work situation too. The duty manager that knows has been a complete rock to me and helped me throughout everything. Anyway, she came to house last night to tell me what our manager has said. She said he's concerned about me and about what is up, and he's going to talk to me tomorrow about it and see if I want to tell him. He's told my duty that he's not taking to action against me.. But he's going to give me a "disaplinary" (he's not really giving me one, we're going to talk in office about what went off, but tell other staff I've been disaplind for it) just because everyone at work has been kicking off over it. He still doesn't know what's happened but my duty said he's been understanding. Quite looking forward to going back to work tomorrow too to be honest. 

I'm going to go into work with some flowers for my duty to say thankyou for everything.. She really has been amazing for me. 

How's everyone else?


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## LoraLoo

I'm so glad your duty manager has been supportive to you kandl I think it's really important to have somebody that you trust and talk to within the work place, the flowers are a lovely gesture x


----------



## bubbles82

Sounds like your work are being really good Kandi. I'm dreading going back to work and not sure if I want to actually explain what has actually been happening to my manager, or try lie and fumble my way through it. I hate having to lie about anything, but it's just such personal stuff that I really don't want to have to share with anyone other than my DH and my mum. I'm just dreading all the back to work interviews from the two days I had to take off sick, where they ask for reasons and when you were actually fit to return to work, I'm probably still not fit for work now but I can only self certify for a week so I would need to get a sick note from my GP. It seems easier to just make up some random illness, but then I feel like I might need someone to know what I've actually been through if I'm not really myself back at work. 

Sorry you're having a bad day Lora. I think the emotional side is the hardest, our minds seem to go into overdrive thinking through all the what ifs, and it's such a roller coaster sometimes. I keep thinking I'm over the worst then I'll have a really down day again for no apparent reason.

I think it's hit my DH harder this time and he was in denial at first and pretending everything was ok and that I've got it wrong. He keeps asking lots of questions though which I'm finding hard, and wanting explanations for things which I don't always have. I've just had to explain to him why I'm still getting positive HPTs, as in his mind a positive means pregnant so everything is fine. I'm onto day 9 of spotting now, was really hoping to be able to chart my BBT this morning as I want to know when it finally drops back below cover line, but DD was up through the night crying 4 times with her teeth, last time was over an hour before my usual temp time so there was no point taking it.


----------



## Sweety21

Lora, good to know you don't have problems with infection etc. And thanks for advice. And about those lines It's like punch in a face. Hate it but, will have to wait and see.

Kandl, thank you dear. It really sucks seeing those lines. About work I am gald your manager is so understanding. And Happy to see that you are looking forward for returning tomorrow to work. Good luck.

Mrsmac, thanks for concern but, I had D&C just last Friday so exactly 1week so, as everyone said it might take some time. I do have to take appointment to get checked but, hubby is out of foe few days so will have to wait so he can look after our daughter while I go to ob.


----------



## caz_hills

Kandi so glad your work have been good. What a relief and I agree the flowers will be a lovely gesture. X


----------



## Sunshine14

Lora sending you big hugs today xxx hope ur ok sweetie

Kandl that's a relief you sorted it all out well done you hun - kindof weird that they are going to tell people you've been disciplined as that stuff should be confidential they shudnt even be talking to others about you or your contract but if ur ok with that then no harm done and at least it's over hopefully xxx

MrsMac hope you get a negative free hun xxx

Bubbles I agree with the others I wouldn't want to go away with ur friends in that situation u and DH have enough to be dealing with without having to deal with them x I hope you get good news when u get rescinded though x

Hi to everyone else hope ur ok xxx

I have had a week of it. After Wednesday's scan news my OH got seriously ill yesterday with chest pains and vomiting and got so dehydrated I had to take him to A & E and they kept him in until he was better and discharged him at 3am wtf! I had to l leave him at 11pm to get back to friend who was minding kids & poor sod had to make his own way home having been very very ill! I am hoping that is my 3 pieces of bad luck together (OH fractured his ankle in July, mc for me August & him ill yesterday in. September) enough already!! Hope you all had a bit better week than me xxx


----------



## bubbles82

Oh no sunshine that sounds terrible, poor DH! Hope that really is all your bad luck out the way and there's some good times on the way for you very soon!

Think you were all right about it being a bad idea to go away with our friends next week, so I let her know last night we wouldn't be going. She started going on about enquiring about a refund, so I told her I'm pretty sure it's non refundable but we weren't bothered about the money and so they may as well still go and enjoy it. She sounded like she didn't want to go either at first, but now it sounds like they will be going. I don't want them to miss out too just because of us, but then part of me feels really annoyed we're going through this, their pregnancy will probably be fine and they get to go and enjoy my daughter's birthday trip, a nice big three bedroomed luxury log cabin just to the three of them and the leisure park and zoo, half paid for by us, while we just dwell on things on our own at home. I appreciate this all sounds quite selfish, I'm just feeling pretty fed up about our bad luck today. 

My BBT is down again today, not quite below cover line but I've realised it's still about the same as my pre O temps now, so another sign it's all over for me. Just waiting for my cheapie HPTs arriving to hopefully start getting negative tests, I didn't want to waste anymore expensive tests I've already gone through so many confirming this pregnancy.


----------



## LoraLoo

If have thought they'd have wanted him in over night to be sure sunshine especially at that time of night/morning &#128563; how is he today?

How is everyone else? I'm on day 26 (I think) feeling very crampy this morning so hope it's either O or AF but anyone's guess- my body is absolutely to pot lately! 

Anyone got any nice plans for ever the weekend? 

Lots of hugs to all that need them xx


----------



## Sweety21

Sunshine, so sorry the journey is going rough. But, hang on honey everything will turn out fine soon. Hugs.

bubbles, when did you started temping again. I am temping after 3-4days of my D&C and temperatures are really low. Don't know what to make of it.

Lora, hope this is O sign for you.

AFM, I am very very upset today. It's because of my hubby. He came after 3days trip and I was already feeling very down. Our dd is cranky today. And he is very very tired. So, when my dd won't go to sleep he started getting irritated. I sensed that and try to put dd to sleep but, she was so excited&#12288;that her papa is home she kept crying for him and my several attempts to keep her from going to him failed. He started to take her and try and calm but, she was getting irritated and crying for me. When, I calmly said to him that he should not force her she will get tired and sleep quickly he started saying that I am not letting him sleep or not trying to put dd to sleep. And I got irritated. I didn't say much because, I wanted dd to sleep and didn't want her to see us arguing. I will probably talk to him tomorrow about it but, I am in tears. I didn't get irritated when I had my D&C and dd won't let me take rest. And there were several other occasion I ignored but, I feel I need to speak now. He is very caring and all but, not at all emotional or don't normally understand emotional stuff. Don't know what am I suppose to do. I am very Happy otherwise but, is this hormones or jusourt relationship gettingdifficult because of miscarriage?


----------



## Sunshine14

Sweety sorry ur going through that hun xxx it sounds to me like ur bickering because ur all exhausted & u have all been through a very tough emotional time recently. If u can u shud focus on all of u getting some rest and u will feel better for it. Can u get a break and get some 'me' time now ur dh is back it might help x

Lora hope ur feeling better today hun?

Bubbles I would try to forget about ur friend now hun & plan something nice for ur daughter's birthday for u as a family xxx 

Hope everyone is ok? 

We are taking it easy this weekend trying to get over the last few weeks & hoping nothing else happens! My pg tests are squinters now at 10ui - does anyone know do they have to be completely blank for me to start to get my cycle back?


----------



## LoraLoo

In feeling much better today thank you sunshine. Weekends are so busy and that helps.

Re the tests, from what I can gather it's more the progesterone and estrogen that prevent ovulation rather than the hcg. Kind of makes sense when you think contraceptive pills etc revolve around those hormones. However it's pretty conflicting reading on different websites.xx


----------



## Sunshine14

Thanks Lora glad ur feeling bit more positive today hun xxx so I probably can't go by the hcg test and maybe I should just expect af about a month or so from now right? What stage are u at hun about to O do u think?


----------



## joo

Back from my hols, AF turned up halfway through my hols right on cue, but lighter the first 2 days and then really heavy on my last day on holiday (spent at the seaside so was just great having to use those gross public loos every hour!) It wasn't painful, but I was much more hormonal than I normally am - really irritable and stressed and anxious. Well I have been in a rut since the miscarriage, hoping I can hit the ground running on Monday now holiday is done and all the playgroups are back on.

Lora, glad your tests came back clear. Are you feeling any better now? I don't enjoy ttc either, it just seems to take all of the fun and spontaneity out of what is usually a good thing. When I knew I had lost the baby one of my first thoughts was when my heart sank and I realised I'd have to do it all again. It took us 7 cycles this time. But my OH and I both agreed from the start we want to try again straight away.

Bubbles - I would have cancelled too. You can all enjoy the day as a family and book something later when you've up to it. It really stings seeing pregnant women at the moment, let alone spending prolonged periods of time with them xx

Kandl - sorry you've had all that drama at work. To be honest I would have just got it over and done with and told the boss, put it on your sick note and sent it straight to HR. Your sickness record is confidential by law, check out the employment laws and discrimination act on the direct gov website. Your duty manager sounds supportive, it's great that you have someone who6 understands at work. Try not to listen to anyone telling you so and so has said this about you, it sounds like it is just stirring it all up and won't help in making you feel comfortable when you go back to work. It's hard, I have worked in a hostile working environment before and it's not good for you at the best of times, let alone when you're emotionally vulnerable xx

To the lady asking when we DTD (sorry my tablet won't.scroll down far enough to see.who it was!!) We waited 11 days but if I wasn't still bleeding I would have done so sooner! My hormones must have been all over the place because I could have dtd the day after my procedure ad then every day after that! It's strange because I usually have a low sex drive :huh:

I hope everyone is doing ok today xx


----------



## LoraLoo

I have no idea sunshine. I Feel like I'm experiencing ovulation pains but opks are negative, I don't think my body knows what it's doing at all! 

Joo, sorry Af got you on holiday, what a bitch &#128544; it's bad enough at the best of times! I agree about ttc too. Eden wasn't planbed and was an 'oops' but we probably would have tried next year, so it was a happy surprise, and I remember thinking how lucky we were to not have to go through the stress and drama of Ttc! Xx


----------



## Kandl123

Hi everyone. Been at work all day so can't catch up just yet. I'll catch up once I'm home.. Just a quick note to let you all know, work went great.. I actually really enjoyed it, was nice to be back and be in a routine. My manager had a 45 min conversation with me (still haven't told him) but he said he's not going to take it no further and leave it be. If anyone has a problem they know what to do and where door is basically. He's the boss and what he says goes. He made me feel so welcome and it was great :). 
Anyway I'll catch up with you all later, hope you're all okay xx


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## Aayla

Hi all. I guess I belong here now :cry:

It was confirmed yesterday that I miscarried. I started bleeding last saturday and went to the hospital on Sunday. It took awhile to get my u/s back and finally was able to get my doc to give me a second blood test to confirm my levels. They fell from 365 on Sunday to 31 on Friday. This is my first pregnancy. I lived a week in hellish limbo and I knew in my heart that I lost the baby (just like I knew 3DPO i was pregnant). 
I've been getting nothing but "at least you know you can get pregnant now." It's been a long fertility journey and I understand their sentiment but I can't seem to explain to them that the words don't help. 

We still aren't done with it all yet either. The u/s showed no gestational sac so my regular doc assumes that I passed it. But I didn't see anything and I was watching very closely. I had one night that had extreme cramps, my cervix hurt and I had the need to push. I could have sworn I was in labor. But it eventually passed and I went back to sleep. I haven't bled heavily at all this week. The fertility doc is concerned I didn't seem to pass anything and i will find out tomorrow (sunday) what the next steps will be. 

As for trying again, we want to but I want to tell everyone that we are waiting. (I have a thread in TTC after loss that poses this question). We told everyone right away (which I don't regret) but it wasn't how I planned and I didn't get the fan fare that I longed for. I expected the screams and shouting because we have been trying for so long. I didn't get anything like that. They didn't even believe my hpt. They made me get blood draws. 

My point (sorry for rambling) is that has anyone told their family and friends that they are putting off trying again (for whatever reason, and we have reasons) but secretly they are trying? My husband is all for this idea and doesn't want to reveal the next preganancy until at least the first scan is done (me I am thinking of waiting the 12 weeks).


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## LoraLoo

Morning ladies! But of update from me which may help yesterday's question sunshine!

I was testing positive on pregnancy tests until day 21.

I'm day 27 today and positive Opk! Looks like your new cycle CAN kick in whilst still hcg in your system! Obviously I didn't get a positive opk whilst my Preg tests were positive but the process must have started at around day 14 when I was still getting blazing positives. 

Aayla I'm so sorry hun. People can say the most insensitive things at times too. As for trying again- we never told anyone last time and aren't this time either. It's nobody else's business in fairness. Huge hugs xx


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## Vicky_92

Sorry I haven't been on for a while again ladies... Working lots&#128530;

Kandl I am so happy for you that things are better in work for you &#128512;

Aayla I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find some support on this wee thread, I know I have.

Loraloo- that's brilliant I also had a positive OPK not yesterday but they day before. Yay!


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## LoraLoo

Yay Vicky! Have you decided to TTC again straight away? Xx


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## Vicky_92

Yeah... People say all different things but I'm just going to try again staight away my doctor said it was ok too. I just really hope it doesn't take ages. How long are you waiting?


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## LoraLoo

We're ttc straight away too. 
Let's hope it's a very short tww that ends in a bfp for us both &#128521;&#128525; x


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## Vicky_92

Sticking this out together then &#128512;. Very short TWW? Is that possible haha &#128514;&#128514;. FX for the both of us xx


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## joo

Wishing you both better luck than I had. We weren't strictly ttc, but we BD'd a loy and AF got me :( will be trying OPKs next time xx


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## Vicky_92

Sorry to hear joo :hugs: I'm not expecting to get pregnant straight away, can't handle anymore heartbreak right now. But I hope I get pregnant soonish, dunno how I'm going to cope if it takes months and months again.


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## LoraLoo

I feel the same Vicky. I just want to be pregnant asap but terrified at the outcome xx


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## Vicky_92

:hugs: loraloo. I read your story about Eve it broke my heart, and I saw your sig too you have been through so much. I have so much respect for you! You are such a brave, strong woman... I just wanted you to know that :hugs: 

On a new note I'm happy we have a wee bond on this site, let's try to get each other positive. &#128536;


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## LoraLoo

Thank you Vicky. I'm not sure I'll make it to 2 weeks probably 9 dpo &#128518; lol. It's definitely nice to be 'in it' with somebody else! X


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## Aayla

sometime in the middle of the night horrible painful cramps started and along with that came the heavy bleeding. It looks like my body is finally passing everything. Which is great because i was hoping this would be natural and I would not have to go in and get it done. Today I should hear from the fertility clinic on what the next steps will be.


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## Mrsmac02

Sorry ladies, missed a tonne of posts as been busy getting or kitchen refitted! 

Aayla, sorry you're going through this. It really is the hardest thing I've gone through in years. Sending hugs x

Sorry for the TMI questions but is anyone feeling super dry downstairs?! It must be a hormone thing but it's so uncomfortable :( I hope my hormones get back into line soon, I'll never get a positive OPK like this :(


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## LoraLoo

I don't think I had that mrsmac, remind me again what day you're on? Xx


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## amytrisha

Good luck Joo, Lora & Vicky! xx


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## Sunshine14

Woo hoo for O Lora hope you got some bd in hun xxx that's fab for you too Vicky hope it doesn't take you months hun xxx

Sorry af got you whilst u were on hols Joo onwards and upwards hun xxx

MrsMac I think u and I are around the same cd as our mcs were together. I'm cd 18. I had a few days of dryness / irration last week hun I actually thought it might be a bit of thrush (from wiping a lot as I'm still spotting pink). I eased up on the wiping and it seems to be ok now. I don't know if what I had sounds similar to what uve got hun xxx

Hope everyone's ok today - I have Sunday evening blues about going back to work : (


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## Vicky_92

Thank you ladies for your support.


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## joo

Aayla I'm so sorry hun, have you heard from the clinic yet? I hope they have some positive info for you xx

mrsmac - i don't remember feeling like that, but I do sometimes get it after AF. i don't know what it could be, possibly hormones? 

Is anyone feeling back to normal yet? Physically i am, and I had 1 or 2 good weeks where i thought i was doing ok but really struggling today, feeling down and hopeless! I think it's hormones. I am coming up to the end of AF but don't usually feel like this until I ovulate and then when AF starts. Anyone have any tips on calming hormones down?


----------



## LoraLoo

I'm not much good with hormones- they seem to easily influence my moods. Hope you find something thT helps.

Is every one else as ok as can be? I'm now officially in the tww which seems bizarre, seems strange to be trying again when I was pregnant last month. Know the sensible thing to do is wait for the full results, but oh well, sensible a never been a trait ive had &#128521; chances Re it'll take a while anyway so it's good practice lol.

Physically feel back to normal now bleeding and cramps all gone- just need to shift this 1.5 stone I gained in pregnancy &#128563;


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## Mrsmac02

I started bleeding on Tuesday 25th and eventually passed everything on 28th August then stopped bleeding on 5th so does that make me cd9 or do I go from the date I passed everything? 

The dryness seems to have eased up a wee bit now but I think I may have BV :cry: as I BD last week and felt I smelled a bit different downstairs then the dryness started. Probs hormones. I just wanna get back on an even keel now. Was back at work today and it was flipping awful!! I need to get pg asap so I can get mat leave again!!! &#128533;


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## LoraLoo

I've been just counting from the first day after I delivered baby as cd1, I know it's not really but I didn't know how else to count it. I only stopped bleeding about 5 dYs ago so that definitely wouldn't have been cd 1 for me as I ovulated yest/today so wouldn't add up.
Hope it's not an infection mrsmac, do you have any discharge as think that's a on on sign too x


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## LoraLoo

Just rang drs they're cslking me tomorrow re the higher dose folic acid &#128077;


----------



## Aayla

I have been questioning of when to start charting and what would count as day 1 as well. I started very mild bleeding (spotting to light, barely use of a pad) last saturday but the heavy stuff with clots and stuff started yesterday. FF has my day 1 as last saturday because I marked it as light. But is this right? 

Well the doc called today and they want me to take a pregnancy test 3 weeks from now. Ugh, the last thing I want to do is pee on a stick but I get why they need to. My hcg level dropped very rapidly so I am pretty sure the frer will come back negative. I had another condition called Hyperplasia with atypia. This was a thickening of my lining and the atypia caused abnormal cell clusters to grow (they had a 30% chance of giving me uterine cancer). So after my test comes back negative I have to go in for another biopsy to make sure it hasn't come back, as it's been a year since I have had a biopsy done. Once the results come back good on that I can start ttc again.


----------



## LoraLoo

I hope the biopsy and results come back clear aayla, that must be a worry for you &#128547;
As far as counting cycle days, I honestly don't think you can even really class the weeks following a loss as a proper cycle- it can vary so much from person to person. As I said earlier, ovulation for me has taken around 4 weeks (wow, 4 weeks today- already??) after loss so Af will be due in 2 weeks, 6 weeks post loss. It's such a pita second guessing where you are in the cycle isn't it? X


----------



## Aayla

Yeah, I'm more wanting to just chart for the record keeping. I don't ovulate on my own so I won't be getting femara again until the biopsy comes back (I'm sure it will be fine, it was for 3 biopsies straight last year) and I have my next proper af. (assuming she comes on her own, sometimes she has to be induced). 
Although it would be neat if getting pregnant jump started my body to work on it's own but I doubt that.


----------



## LoraLoo

It often does jump start it for some women, hope that's the case for you. I would probsbly start charting now, better to start early then miss the boat I think. I know it might not be accurate re cycle days but least you will be able to tell if ovulation happened or not x


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## Aayla

Yeah, I'll keep with what FF has said. I will start temping tomorrow. My O day is Sept 21 (assuming that I do and that is based off previous cycles). But I am hoping that my levels keep falling fast. I would love to have the biopsy and stuff all done before Oct 5-9. That was when af is due (assuming she shows up around regular schedule). I would love to be able to ttc the next cycle.


----------



## Aayla

So another call from the doc. I am to test on Oct 2. According to FF this is day 28 of this "cycle" so it seems the doc is following the same schedule that Sept 5 was day 1. But it looks like I will miss the next cycle if it happens sort of on time. I have 30-35 day cycles and I will have to wait to get the biopsy results back before I can start which means I will likely miss the window to start femara again. But I am okay with this. I have gained a lot of weight over a short period of time (almost 40 lbs in 3 1/2 months) and I would like to get that under control. I let TTC be an excuse and I shouldn't have.


----------



## bubbles82

Hey ladies!

So glad to see some of you mention not really enjoying TTC, well I'm not glad you don't enjoy it, just meant it's made me feel a bit better about it. When we got BFP last cycle me and DH were both relieved we didn't have to TTC anymore, and that was only our first try for #2. Now I have no idea where I'm at in my cycle, FF is all over the place, and I'm dreading having to start all over again with the OPKs, BD timing etc. I really miss being able to just BD as and when we wanted, it really does take the fun out of it for us. I'm keen to get back to the BD soon as we have avoided it since I conceived which is well over a month ago now, as we wanted to be extra careful in the early days which obviously hasn't helped at all this time, but DH is still convinced we're going to see a healthy baby at the scan this week so he won't BD because of that. I feel I've already accepted this loss and started to move on and think about TTC, so I'm getting anxious we might be missing our next chance. I admire DH's positivity, but I wish I could get him to understand how small the chance is that things are ok, so he's prepared for the worst even if he still wants to hope for the best.


----------



## bubbles82

Sorry Sweety just realised I didn't answer your question about when I started temping again. I didn't really stop charting to be honest, I didn't temp for a few days, but I started again with the bleeding just to try and get some kind of idea what was going on, so I'm still trying to chart now even though it's a bit of a mess since the spotting started. If the scan this week confirms a loss then I think I'll try start a new chart from the day the spotting started as I'm still not sure any heavy bleeding is going to happen.


----------



## LoraLoo

Will hubby going to the scan with you bubbles? 

How is everyone today?


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## bubbles82

Yes Lora, we're both going and my mum is coming over to look after DD so we don't have to worry about her running riot. But awkward though as my mum's best friend is staying with her for the week, so she's bringing her too and making up some excuse about why she's having to look after DD that early in the morning when we're both off work, scan is at 8.45am.


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## bubbles82

It's this week we were meant to be at the log cabin for DD's birthday tomorrow, had a text off my friend yesterday telling me how amazing it is...


----------



## LoraLoo

I'm glad it's early and you're not waiting aRound for too long. Ah friends decided to still go did they? Xx


----------



## Kandl123

bubbles82 said:


> It's this week we were meant to be at the log cabin for DD's birthday tomorrow, had a text off my friend yesterday telling me how amazing it is...

I think I'd be quite annoyed if my friend text me saying how amazing it is. She knows the reason why you're not going and what you're going through, so why text you that? Yeah text asking if you're okay, or maybe say something like "it's a shame you're not here blah blah" but not telling you how amazing it is :dohh: .. But that's just my view


----------



## Kandl123

How is everyone else? I hope you get the bfp you deserve lora once the ttw is over!

I feel much better in myself these past few days, both physically and emotionally. I'm thinking my af is due to come soon as I've been having a lot or cm (tmi sorry). I hope it comes soon as then we can officially start ttc. And we can finally have sex!! :haha: OH will not have sex with me until af arrives &#128553; which is annoying because I'm so frustrated. I all of a sudden got a need for sex from nowhere, but I can't have none... but I can see where he is coming from too


----------



## Sweety21

Kandl123 said:


> How is everyone else? I hope you get the bfp you deserve lora once the ttw is over!
> 
> I feel much better in myself these past few days, both physically and emotionally. I'm thinking my af is due to come soon as I've been having a lot or cm (tmi sorry). I hope it comes soon as then we can officially start ttc. And we can finally have sex!! :haha: OH will not have sex with me until af arrives &#128553; which is annoying because I'm so frustrated. I all of a sudden got a need for sex from nowhere, but I can't have none... but I can see where he is coming from too

Exactly my situation now. My oh won't have sex with me until I have my first af. Sucks but, hormone are making me hmmmmmm


----------



## Aayla

Yesterday was a much better day for me. I felt happy for the first time in awhile. I'm almost starting to feel normal. The worst is usually when I am in bed. Hubby and I have slightly different schedules so he goes to bed much later than me. So I lay there alone and even though I am tired my mind starts to think through stuff. Last night I tossed and turned and barely got any sleep. It's a 2 pots of coffee sort of day. 
But emotionally I am feeling okay. 

So why won't your guys do it until af comes? My guy can't wait to do it. Neither can I. I've been given no restrictions and I can't wait for the bleeding to stop (which it seems to be as it's quite light this morning). I don't think either of us could wait for another month.


----------



## Kandl123

Aayla, mine won't do it as he wants me to have a period first as he seems to think if I don't then I'll have another miscarriage as it'll be so soon. I can see where he's coming from, and in the long run it might be better too for dating wise and I can actually track when I'm ovulating 

Sweety... Annoying isn't it... Hormones all over and we have needs too!


----------



## Aayla

I'm curious about how soon I can have sex again. Everything I read talks about trying to conceive again but I don't ovulate on my own so I'm not concerned about getting pregnant immediately. The bleeding hasn't completley stopped yet but it's slowing down and I know when it does stop we are going to want to do it. I don't think I could wait until after my next cycle (which is about a month away with how long my cycles normally are).


----------



## LoraLoo

Aayla when ever you are both ready I think. For us it was around 10 days afterwards and that closeness was nice iykwim?


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## Vicky_92

Hey ladies. In work here on my break, one of my colleagues just said her daughter is pregnant, and she has the same due date as I would have had &#128546;&#128546; This seriously sucks


----------



## bubbles82

Kandl123 said:


> bubbles82 said:
> 
> 
> It's this week we were meant to be at the log cabin for DD's birthday tomorrow, had a text off my friend yesterday telling me how amazing it is...
> 
> I think I'd be quite annoyed if my friend text me saying how amazing it is. She knows the reason why you're not going and what you're going through, so why text you that? Yeah text asking if you're okay, or maybe say something like "it's a shame you're not here blah blah" but not telling you how amazing it is :dohh: .. But that's just my viewClick to expand...

I'm not surprised at all, but I'm now feeling quite annoyed about it really. I don't think she meant to come across that way, and was maybe feeling bad they had it all to themselves and wanted to try persuade us to go join them still. I had to spell it out again we really didn't want to be far from home and just wanted time alone. I'm even more annoyed today though as she completely forgot my daughter's birthday today, which is the whole reason we were all going. Also the other friend I confided in because I felt like I had to as she is expecting too but was about 7 weeks ahead of me, sent me some info today about a dance class she thought my daughter might be interested in, which is on tomorrow morning at the same time as my scan. So she's obviously forgotten all about it already too. 
Thought I was ok but been quite tearful again today, probably because it feels like the two friends I trusted with our news have already lost interest, and probably because its so close to the scan now. Really just want it over with so we have real closure and can start to move on properly. Too many stories are giving me slight hope that things could still be ok, when I know deep down they won't be.

Hope you ladies are ok, sorry about your colleague Vicky. It just seems to be constant kicks in the teeth when you've had a loss, as if the loss itself isn't bad enough.


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## LoraLoo

Vicky that must have been really tough, I'm sorry xx

Bubbles I really hope that tomorrow goes ok. People moving on quickly and 'forgetting' is really hard. We are in this pain and it feels like the world just carries on. And it does I guess, but it's just the lack of acknowledgement I find tough xx


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## bubbles82

Forgot to add I was annoyed as my friend text saying they were taking it in turns to wait with their little boy while the other went on the big rides. Why the hell is she going on the big rides at all? I was so careful and still couldn't hold onto my little one, she drinks right up until the test turns positive, goes on big rides, whatever else she thinks is ok, and she'll be fine. I don't wish a loss on her, just annoyed today at how unfair life can be.


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## Aayla

bubbles82 said:


> Forgot to add I was annoyed as my friend text saying they were taking it in turns to wait with their little boy while the other went on the big rides. Why the hell is she going on the big rides at all? I was so careful and still couldn't hold onto my little one, she drinks right up until the test turns positive, goes on big rides, whatever else she thinks is ok, and she'll be fine. I don't wish a loss on her, just annoyed today at how unfair life can be.


This I understand. I had a friend that lived off of doritos, cigarettes and coffee while she was pregnant. Carried to term. It was a drunken night hook up that got her pregnant because she wasn't taking her bc properly. One night, that's all it took. And then she treats herself and her baby like crap. I saw a woman smoking while pregnant a few weeks ago. This same friend pretty much defended this stranger (I ranted on facebook). I expected it because she smoked throughout her pregnancy. 
And here I am having to be on femara just to ovulate and I lose the first pregnancy I have ever had. :growlmad:


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## bubbles82

I just don't get it, how easy it comes to some people who just don't deserve it at all, or don't even want to be pregnant. I'm quite healthy and have no idea why I've had to lose two babies, and I'm so angry I'll never be able to be excited about ever being pregnant when it should be such a happy exciting time. Think I'm also particularly annoyed today that no one understands a loss until it's happened to them, so it's such a lonely time when people either don't understand at all, or dont have any idea at all what's happened.


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## LoraLoo

I think it's a tricky one- a persons loss is so personal and individual, that even someone that has lost a baby in similar circumstances may not 'get' or understand how we feel. It can make the grief and sadness an even lonelier place I think x


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## bubbles82

Argh, same friend just text saying she wishes she was off work tomorrow too.... Would she like to be in my place really?!


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## LoraLoo

Idiot &#128530;


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## amytrisha

Sorry to butt in ladies but MC was 3 weeks ago now had a scan 2 weeks ago and was still retaining 4cm of placenta apparently, was told to do a test 2 weeks later so I just have and it's very light positive, definitely there though :( 

I phoned and they said they'd book me an apt for bloods but I told them it's hard for me to get to the hospital it's hard to find somebody to have my LB and could my doctor do it, then she said to test again in another week then phone back and they'll sort it with my doctor if it's still positive. She said my levels may be low enough to pass it in a period.

I'm absolutely devastated this isn't over yet. I feel failed by my own body!! I'm miserable all the time. I just wanna get on with life.. 

I've been told to watch for signs of infection but I'm not quite sure what the signs are? Can any of you ladies help xx


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## LoraLoo

Can you post a pic of your test? Mine were still positive after 3 weeks but absolute squinters. 
My other hormones must have still dropped low though because I got a positive Opk less than a week later.


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## Sweety21

Ayala, my guy has no idea that it is ok to have sex now. Heis just scared, may be that he might create some complication for me by having sex. I tried explain but, he is big no no. 

Kandle, it really sucks. Good luck dealing with hormones. 

Afm, I had my check up almost after two weeks of D&C and guess what? I am already gearing up to ovulate, we were able to see eggy there and doc was kinda surprised. I am really Happy after so many days. My doc however said to wait ttc for one cycle. 
But, I already feel like fool for telling it to my hubby. It could have been our chance of conceieving but, I am scared too. So, I will probably wait one cycle. We were able to get pregnant first time with both pregnancy so fx for next one too. 

How is everyone else doing?


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## Sweety21

amytrisha said:


> Sorry to butt in ladies but MC was 3 weeks ago now had a scan 2 weeks ago and was still retaining 4cm of placenta apparently, was told to do a test 2 weeks later so I just have and it's very light positive, definitely there though :(
> 
> I phoned and they said they'd book me an apt for bloods but I told them it's hard for me to get to the hospital it's hard to find somebody to have my LB and could my doctor do it, then she said to test again in another week then phone back and they'll sort it with my doctor if it's still positive. She said my levels may be low enough to pass it in a period.
> 
> I'm absolutely devastated this isn't over yet. I feel failed by my own body!! I'm miserable all the time. I just wanna get on with life..
> 
> I've been told to watch for signs of infection but I'm not quite sure what the signs are? Can any of you ladies help xx

So sorry hun. Hopefully, everything will be alright soon. I know it is easy to say but, hang in there.
I have no idea about infection but, hopefully some lovely ladies might help you here.
Hugs.


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## Aayla

I am feeling really good today and yesterday. I was only spotting a couple days ago so hubby and I took a chance and did it. It was honestly just what we needed. We haven't been intimate for over 2 weeks and it was almost like a sense of closure. That everything is going to be ok and we are starting to come to our new normal. I am not the same woman I was a month ago. I created life. And yes that life was incredibly short but I got a taste of this incredible unconditional love. 
It's weird that emotionally I am moving forward faster than I am physically. Which does kinda suck because I want to ttc again right now lol but I know my body needs to catch up to my heart.


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## Sunshine14

Hi ladies hope you are all well x

Amytrisha when I went for my scan last week I had 2cm piece retained and she also said to watch out for infection. She said the signs would be offensive smell and / or funny colour discharge. I think u would know if u got an infection hun I have been watching out for one and don't have one thank goodness! Sorry for tmi but I just have what appears to be EWCM and loads of it but it is always pink very odd. I still have the tiniest of a squinter on a pg test but my opk is only getting a tiny bit of colour. I have no idea what's going on and I'm hoping that I will just get af to clear everything out and reset cycle. Have you got spotting still hun?

Hope everyone is ok xx


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## LoraLoo

Sunshine14 said:


> Hi ladies hope you are all well x
> 
> Amytrisha when I went for my scan last week I had 2cm piece retained and she also said to watch out for infection. She said the signs would be offensive smell and / or funny colour discharge. I think u would know if u got an infection hun I have been watching out for one and don't have one thank goodness! Sorry for tmi but I just have what appears to be EWCM and loads of it but it is always pink very odd. I still have the tiniest of a squinter on a pg test but my opk is only getting a tiny bit of colour. I have no idea what's going on and I'm hoping that I will just get af to clear everything out and reset cycle. Have you got spotting still hun?
> 
> Hope everyone is ok xx

I was getting brown tinged ewcm for a few days but no positive opk. It then went and a few days later I got more ewcm but clear (no blood) and then positive Opk. Sounds like ovulation isn't far off for you x


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## Mrsmac02

Hey ladies, hope you're all doing ok! 

Amytrisha, I had an infection after DS and it was painful, clotting and smelled foul/metallic. You should also keep an eye out for infection. 

I think if it's 4cm there's a good chance you could pass it during AF. Did you ever use raspberry leaf tea when pg? It can apparently stimulate uterine contractions so could help? 

Bubbles - sorry your friends are being so insensitive. I have a fair few of those too! :hugs: 

Lora - hope the TWW isn't too anxious. Can't actually believe some of us are there already! Good luck, be lovely to have some nice news :winks: 

Aayla - glad you're feeling a bit more positive now. Hopefully you can start TTC soon! 

Afm, I've been a bit crampy/twingy feeling the last few days but don't think I've ovulated. Probably going to be in it for the long haul &#128553;

I'm going to start agnus castus again next week though once I've had plenty of milk thistle to clear the old hormones out. Hopefully that'll kick start things xx


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## Sunshine14

Thanks Lora x at least that gives me some idea of what might be going on! I was feeling a bit defeated thinking I wasn't going to O this month but maybe I will..... How are you hun? Any update on Edens funeral? Hope ur ok xxx

MrsMac did u have ur follow up scan? Was it this week hun? Btw what does the milk whistle do is it good for ttc hun?


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## LoraLoo

I've not heard anything since last Wednesday! They said they'd be in touch with a day and time but no word. Think I'll call tomorrow, I need the closure Nd want to get the writing sorted. 

I think we are going to get the bottom of Eves kerbs engraved.

Was thinking something simple

Baby Eden Allonby
Born Sleeping 17.8.15
So little, so loved (or so small, so loved- can't decide?) 

I don't even know if she's still at hospital or funeral directors. I just want her with her brother and sister &#128150;&#128153;&#128150; this is their grave hope nobody minds me sharing x
 



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## amytrisha

So little, so loved .. Sounds beautiful Lora :hugs: 

Thanks for the advice ladies! 
I've attached a picture of the test ( I think ) .. I'm still slightly spotting brown discharge but that's about it. Hoping test is either negative next week or bloods say my HCG is low enough for a period .. Fingers crossed x
 



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## bubbles82

Lora thanks for sharing your pic, lovely tribute to your angels. Agree with so little so loved too for Eden. Hope you get some news soon. 

Nice to see some of you in or near the TWW, things are going to be looking up in here soon ladies, we could do with some lovely news in here ASAP! 

I had my follow up scan this morning, as expected it wasn't good news. Didn't come as a shock at all that they confirmed a miscarriage, but still found myself suddenly very tearful when I thought I was handling it ok as I knew what was coming. I think it's all the worry of the unknown still, no idea how long it will take to get my cycle back which is weird enough at the best of times, no idea how long we will have to TTC this time, and no idea if we will have to go through all this again. I ended up having to have an internal this time which wasn't particularly pleasant, and has left me feeling a bit sore tonight. HPTs were still showing faint lines today, very faint and hardly noticeable on the cheapies, and definitely there on the FRER but should hopefully be back to negative soon. 

Still feeling quite annoyed about my friend, she's obviously forgotten about my scan and has text today about how her son is missing my daughter and wants to come round with her birthday present at the weekend. I've not even answered it, don't know what to say to her and I really don't feel like seeing her at the moment, but I don't want to end up pushing her away, it's not her fault she's pregnant still and I'm not. 

The nurse at the EPU today said we should wait until my next cycle before TTC again, but couldn't give us any straight answers why. My DD is proof enough for us that we don't need to wait, and my cycles are too long and unpredictable for me to miss any chances at all. I've no idea at all whereabouts in my cycle I am now, getting a strange mixture of what looks like pink or brown tinged EWCM some days, which disappears, so fingers crossed that may be a good sign things are heading in the right direction. My first loss was 2nd December and I conceived DD on the 22nd so would love things to work like that again if we could be that lucky. I've been doing OPKs for the last few days now, even though I'm probably still a couple of weeks off at least.


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## LoraLoo

Thanks ladies

Amytrisha I reckon that'll be negative before this weeks out! 

Bubbles I'm sorry to hear that everything was confirmed- guess in a way it was a relief too? You always hold on to that tiny bit of hope. How has hubby taken it?

Your friend sounds very insensitive &#128542; think I'd have to gently remind her!

As for trying again- I did hear to wait 1 cycke as anything left over can be flushed out with Af- but To me if your body ovukated then your body is ready? So no, we didn't wait either. X


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## bubbles82

It probably makes sense to wait, I just can't shake off the thought that we conceived DD straight after the first loss because of the whole being more fertile thing, and don't want to miss that again if it's true. It worked with her and she was a healthy baby at the end of a problem free pregnancy, if I'm going to have a loss I'm obviously going to have one anyway as the others have randomly happened, so I think there's more chance of things going ok next time round than not. Well I hope anyway! I would probably be more likely to wait if my loss was much further along or if my cycles were more 26-28 days rather than 5-6 weeks! I'm actually convinced my stupid long cycles are to blame, but I'm back on the Vitex now which helped regulate them with DD.

DH took it quite well, I think I managed to convince him in the end before we got there that it really wasn't likely to be good news, as he started saying it was catch 22 and even if the baby was ok at the scan there was obviously something wrong so that might not even be good news for long. He was obviously still a bit hopeful and was disappointed, and think he felt a bit useless when I kept getting upset.

Yeah my friend does seem quite insensitive at the moment, I don't think she means to be or even realises what she's doing. I just don't want to see her at all at the moment but know it's going to be awkward whenever I do see her next and don't want to push her away. I think I'm just so hurt that our chance to share what should've been a happy experience together has been snatched away. People go on about how it's ok as you'll get another baby soon, but I'm never going to have this one that was due on my mum's birthday and at the same time as my friend, who we should've been able to share the news of in a few weeks time. Now I'm not even back to square one as I have no idea where I am in my cycle so I feel like square one would actually be an improvement! It's like my body still thinks it's pregnant in some ways even though the baby is gone.

Sorry for my rants on here girls, they always seem to get more ranty and longer than I intended, hopefully my normal service will resume shortly. Guess I just don't have anywhere else I feel I can unload all these feelings and I know you guys understand when no one else does.


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## LoraLoo

It gives me hope that you conceived first time after your loss.

I can also have really iffy cycles (didn't have one for over 3 months at one point) so if I'm ovulating, I'm on it, lol! Really hope your cycles return to some sort of normal soon. 

I totally get how you feel with the friend because I'm in a similar position although we aren't as close as we used to be which makes it a little easier. Xx


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## Mrsmac02

Lora - that's so beautiful &#128546; I hope you get Eden back soon hun x

Amytrisha - fingers and toes crossed you get AF soon and you can start to move on x

Sunshine - thanks hun, yeah it was Tuesday and confirmed all cleared so just waiting to see if my daft body gets the message and starts to get back into decent cycles with decent quality eggs! If not, I will take the agnus castus again to help regulate hormones, it was brilliant last time and was what helped me ovulate enough to get pregnant with DS and the mc. Milk thistle helps your liver clear toxins from your body, including excess hormones. Carrots also bind estrogen so if like me you have estrogen dominance, it helps the body flush too much out so you can start to produce proper levels of progesterone x

Bubbles - so sorry it was the news you were expecting, doesn't matter how long you've 'known' for, it's still upsetting. I cried my eyes out when they confirmed it after four other scans. I think it was more the relief in my case! Re waiting til you've had one cycle, it's only for dating purposes is all. I had the same convo with EPU and they said there's nothing stopping us but it helps for dating purposes of you conceive straight away. That's never going to happen in our case - took us 10 months to get to a mc and that was with a tonne of help from herbs and diet! But I'm not really actively trying yet if you know what I mean? As soon as I know things are back on an even keel, that's when we will try properly. I'd feel better if I knew my body was doing what it needed to do first because I think that definitely contributed to the mc. The herbalist told me I would be best to give myself six months of regular cycles and optimum diet before TTC but I didn't listen. She said I'd be more likely to mc and she was right! 

Incidentally, if anyone is interested in talking to the herbalist I use, I'd be happy to pass on her details. It cost be about £100 initially with 2 phone consultations and 2 bottles of different herbs but they last about 2/3 months. She's a bit overly enthusiastic about it, which I find a bit cheesy! But she clearly knows what she's on about as i wasn't even ovulating for about a year on my own! X


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## Aayla

So I am getting some weird symptoms. Well not weird but identical to what I had after I ovulated and egg was fertilized. I went back over my tww symptoms I recorded on countdown to pregnancy. Identical. 
We dtd 3 days ago so I am not expecting anything but this has me curious.
I can't even get to a store to get a test to see if my levels are next to zero. 
But is it possible to O so soon (I am about 3 days away from "regular" O day) or even possible for me to O without femara?


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## Aayla

So my friend got me a frer. I can't remember when I peed last but it was not 4 hours ago lol. Probably within the last hour. But I really have to go right now. I am testing to check levels to make sure they are gone and hope for BFN. Would it matter at what time. If I get BFN now would a bfp show up with fmu? 
If a BFN came now I could test again in a couple of days and probably go to the doc to get my other tests done early and then I won't miss my first true cycle. 
Not sure what to do.


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## Aayla

Caved and took it and holy crap!! It is darker than any test i have ever taken. Pee hold was maybe an hour at best. I had 2 cups of water which is why I had to go so bad. The line showed in less than 30 seconds and it got darker as time passed.

My level exactly 7 days ago was 31. I don't think the test should be this dark. Should it? I would expect that now that I have passed everything I dropped from 365 to 31 in less than a week that it would have continued to drop this past week. When I tested at 16dpo my level would have been around the same (it was 43) and it was not this dark. 

First pic is before 3 min, second pick is after 5. It just gets darker and darker.
 



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## Sweety21

Aayla said:


> Caved and took it and holy crap!! It is darker than any test i have ever taken. Pee hold was maybe an hour at best. I had 2 cups of water which is why I had to go so bad. The line showed in less than 30 seconds and it got darker as time passed.
> 
> My level exactly 7 days ago was 31. I don't think the test should be this dark. Should it? I would expect that now that I have passed everything I dropped from 365 to 31 in less than a week that it would have continued to drop this past week. When I tested at 16dpo my level would have been around the same (it was 43) and it was not this dark.
> 
> First pic is before 3 min, second pick is after 5. It just gets darker and darker.

Wow, those are pretty dark lines. Did you check when your levels were 31.Fx for you.


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## Sweety21

Hi everyone. How is eveybody doing? 

Just an update from my side. Finally, lines are fading away. There is a squinter but, I am sure it will go away soon. Sad but, happy to have my body and mind finally back to myself. And yes, after almost month we dtd. It was much needed thing to get us close after whatwe have been through. I almost convinced hub to try but, gave up in middle and told him to pullout as, I am scared that if my body isn't ready I might miscarry again. I had a good chance I am about to ovulate (confirmed by scan on Thursday)but, don't know why just backed out. Feeling kinda weird for doing it though.


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## LoraLoo

Aayla those are really dark lines for those hcg numbers- how strange?! 

Sweety, it was just the right thing for you to do at the time, you'll know when the right time is to try again x


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## Aayla

Is it possible, no matter how remote, that an hpt could pick up on ovulation? I have all the signs that I recently ovulated and fertilized just like the first time. They are identical. It's sort of eerie. And it was exactly 2 days after we dtd just like before. Which was 4 days ago.


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## LoraLoo

Nope impossible, hpt puck up hcg only. 
Is it possible you have ovulated earlier than you thought?


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## Aayla

It is possible but we haven't dtd in the last 2 weeks except for 4 days ago. My hcg would have been too high to ovulate any sooner. I assume. Unless I am some freak that can do that. Haha.


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## LoraLoo

Very strange I wouldn't have expected a line that dark. I guess I'd wait a day or so and test again to see if the tests are getting darker or lighter?

I've read stories where women following a mc have ovulated again n the hcg has been in the thousands- and also read that it's the estrogen and progesterone that prevents ovulation, but no idea how true that is. There doesn't seem to be a clear answer anywhere x


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## Aayla

Yeah. I have looked. I have been rephrasing questions in Google lol. Well I have called the doc and requested blood work but I won't know anything until Monday or Tuesday when they decide to get back to me. Why does everything have to happen on a weekend? Lol
I am going to pick up a couple dollar store tests. The ones we have detect at 25. They never gave me a bfp when I was testing before. If those come out dark then I will really question.


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## Aayla

What would you ladies say between Clearblue and First Response is the least sensitive test? Include digitals and such. I am looking for something that would not give a positive unless you are say closer to the 100 range. I chose those two because I am in Canada and they are the only 2 brands we have in common found in stores.


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## bubbles82

Those are really dark lines Aayla, how strange! Hope it's somehow your next BFP, but I have no explanation for it! I'd say the clearblue are the least sensitive tests, or they always have been for me anyway. I've only used clearblue digital or first response early result though, as well as Internet cheapies. 

Sweety hope you're ok, I agree with Lora you'll know when you feel 100% ready to try again, we're all different. I just don't want to wait at all, but if I hadn't had my DD straight after my first loss, I'd probably worry a lot that I could have a mc by trying straight away. Now I've had two losses that were just random I don't think it matters when I try, I just don't feel as though I have any time to waste anymore.


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## Aayla

So this is just over an hour hold and I did have a grand coffee not too far off. I am now starting a 3-4 hour hold as I was able to get some opk's. Will be taking another test then as well. 
The pic was taken just after 5 min mark. It took that long for the dye to settle. Line is light but there and it is more noticeable in person. These have a sensitivity of 25 Miu. It says it right on the box.
 



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## Aayla

Did another test. 3 hour hold. Total stark white BFN. Hmmm. Will test with fmu tomorrow. Opk was technically negative.


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## LoraLoo

Wow, just shows the difference in tests xx


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## Aayla

Yeah I am more confused now. We shall see what the morning brings.


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## Aayla

So with fmu (same dollar store tests) to the untrained eye, at the 5 min mark, it is bfn. But I see the barest faintest shadow of a line. Especially in daylight outside. As the test has sat I can see it a bit more. If I were ttc and wanting the bfp this would make me obsessive to test again and probably wouldn't show in a pic. (one of those lines lol) For me I have never had evaps on these. So it looks like I still have a bit of hcg in there but not enough any more to make these go really positive. 
I wonder if the frer I took was super sensitive (say around 6miu) and would activate at a lower number, say compared to the first frers I took. So my amount (guessing around 20-25) would make it go super dark. 
Will update the doc tomorrow but I am still getting blood drawn as soon as possible. 
I have one more test left and will test again in the morning. See if the same shadow line shows up or if it finally goes bfn. 
As much as I would like to think the weirdest miracle happened (close to immaculate conception) and I am pregnant again I know that isn't the case. and I'm cool with that. Right now I would love for it to be bfn so I can get in to the doc and get done what needs to be done before my next af. I don't want to miss the cycle.


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## Aayla

Hey ladies. So I decided to start using opk's just to see. So the first pic is of yesterday's. Obviously negative. Well today is cd16. The same cycle day I got my smiley face. Second pic is of today's opk. Pg tests were slightly positive yesterday but yet a negative opk but today I would say closer to negative (shadow of a line) and now a very big positive it looks like. The positive came up dark right away. 2 hour old as per directions. 

Opinions?
 



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## Sweety21

Bubbles and Lora, thanks for your support.

Bubbles, I totally understand how you must be feeling about two random losses. It makes total sense to start ttc right away in your case. 

Aayla, wow. That's really confusing. I really don't use OPK or anything just chart my temps so can't comment on it. But, hopefully you willget your answers soon.

O pains are in progress and bbt is down. I am feeling totally alright now and will let my body decide when it is ready for ttc again.


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## amytrisha

Aayla that's extremely confusing :( I don't have much advice either I think your best bet is to just wait for the bloods to see what's going on! Hope they get in touch soon x

Sweety I'm glad you got dtd out of the way! We still haven't, and I don't want to try yet either but I'm unsure as to whether I take the pill or whatever til the tests are negative -.- 

Bleedings completely stopped I just keep getting jelly like discharge? Like a plug but not much of it, it's a brownish colour like the bleeding has been recently. Weird? 

Where is everybody at now? (I struggle to keep up!) I hope your all ok :hugs:


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## Mrsmac02

That's so confusing Aayla! Can the doctor give you any advice? 

I got a bit of jelly like mucous towards the end too Amytrisha so fingers crossed that's the last of it for you. 

I've had pains left of my belly button tiday and yesterday for a few hours. Doesn't feel like it's my ovary though, but confused. 

Sounds bad but sorta hoping it's not implantation - promised myself I'd wait a cycle so that I could give my body time to build up folic acid and get back on an even footing, it feels so off kilter at the mo! X


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## LoraLoo

I had the mucousy brown tinged discharge towards the end of the bleeding Amytrisha- hope it's signalling the end for you. 

Afm- I'm 5 weeks post loss today and in the tww- I'll be testing Wednesday but I feel out so We will be properly Ttc next cycle x


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## Aayla

last dollar store pregnancy test was negative. I haven't heard from the doc yet but I will be asking for blood work. My new concern is that the opk picked up on what is left of any hcg in my system. I have read it has to be quite high for an opk to do that but I am still left wondering. It's like I just can't give myself the hope that I O'd on my own. I'm also wondering if my progesterone next week (7dpo) will be affected by my miscarriage or does that go down to proper levels quickly. 
I wish I had been temping this whole weekend but I forgot my thermometer at home when I went to house sit for my mom. She didn't even have a basic one to use. I was able to get it last night so I am hoping that tomorrow morning will see a surge.


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## Aayla

lol. Just got the call from the doc. They said no to the blood work. but they said it's not uncommon so soon after passing everything to get a very positive test. But she said that because I am getting negative tests now that it looks like everything is settling. If I have any more heavy bleeding I am to call them and then to call them on Oct 2 with my hpt result for that day. But since I may be ovulating today I may wait on that because that is day 28 and would only be 11dpo and I wouldn't get a positive until at least 13 (going off of last cycle anyway). and I'm kinda not wanting to test until af is late. I was only 4 days late when I miscarried. If I hadn't tested early I likely would not have known. 

But it's running the risk that I will miss next cycle to be on femara because I am supposed to go in for a biopsy (for a previous issue) if it's negative and that takes time to get the appt and then get the results to give me the go ahead.


----------



## Vicky_92

Aayla I'm so sorry for your loss, :hugs: I've no advice about your tests unfortunately hoping your have some answers soon &#128512; 

Loraloo... How are you holding up in the TWW?


----------



## LoraLoo

I've not tested yet! My frers came today. I want to hold out Til wed but think I'll cave and test tomorrow- how about you?


----------



## Aayla

Thanks. It is just a wait and see. I am hoping to get a spike in my temp tomorrow morning. That may gwt FF to give cross hairs. And I will be going in next Monday for the 7dpo progesterone test. I have an ongoing requisition for that so I don't have to beg the doc for it. 

Loraloo- ooh testing time. If no one else minds I hope we see pics. Even through this al I love looking at pics of them.


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## Vicky_92

I caved today, BFN :(.


----------



## Vicky_92

Aayla said:


> Thanks. It is just a wait and see. I am hoping to get a spike in my temp tomorrow morning. That may gwt FF to give cross hairs. And I will be going in next Monday for the 7dpo progesterone test. I have an ongoing requisition for that so I don't have to beg the doc for it.
> 
> Loraloo- ooh testing time. If no one else minds I hope we see pics. Even through this al I love looking at pics of them.

:hugs: will be thinking about you. Again I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm sorry for only saying it now on this thread, it's always a lot to read through after work, etc xx


----------



## amytrisha

Sorry Vicky :hugs: what CD are you?

Good luck Lora! 

Also good luck for testing next week Aayla. xx

Yeah I think it is the end of the bleeding definitely, hopefully tests will be negative on Thursday! X


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## Vicky_92

I've no idea lol. I got a Positive OPK on the 11th if that helps. I dunno how to track since the M/C


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## Vicky_92

Ps I know I'm early but I couldn't help myself &#128514;


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## LoraLoo

try again in a few days Vicky! Xx


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## LoraLoo

I actually couldn't sleep last night having constant dreams Nout opks and pregnancy tests &#128514; bizarre.

So we've just had the new that Eden will be buried at 12 on Thursday. We will get some flowers to go in with her, and will put another one in for all our babies (will pick a diff colour x)


----------



## Aayla

Vicky_92 said:


> Aayla said:
> 
> 
> Thanks. It is just a wait and see. I am hoping to get a spike in my temp tomorrow morning. That may gwt FF to give cross hairs. And I will be going in next Monday for the 7dpo progesterone test. I have an ongoing requisition for that so I don't have to beg the doc for it.
> 
> Loraloo- ooh testing time. If no one else minds I hope we see pics. Even through this al I love looking at pics of them.
> 
> :hugs: will be thinking about you. Again I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm sorry for only saying it now on this thread, it's always a lot to read through after work, etc xxClick to expand...


Oh no prob. I know everyone here is saddened by our losses. Based on your next posts if you got a positive opk on the 11, and assume you ovulated the next day, you would only be 9DPO. i never got a squinter (that no one but me could see lol) until 10dpo and a light line on 13dpo. So you have a few days left.


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## Vicky_92

Amytrisha- glad everything is looking better for you xx

Thanks Loraloo,I'm keeping my FX for you. Thats a beautiful idea, sending you massive hugs xx

Aayla- thank you. This is my first time using OPK, before the M/C I never really knew exactly when I was ovulating &#128514; I just BD every other night and tested the day before my period.


----------



## bubbles82

Good luck Lora! So excited to be having some proper TWW in here! Will be thinking of you on Thursday too, can't imagine what a sad and difficult day it is, but good to finally have Eden laid to rest xx

Fingers crossed for you Vicky, it's so hard not to rest early! I used to be very strict with waiting until AF was late, but it's just impossible when it's on your mind 24/7 and you want to know ASAP!

Glad you're reaching the end of the bleeding amytrisha, it was a huge relief for me, felt like it was never going to end! 

Good luck for your spike tomorrow Aayla! Sorry your tests are still confusing, hopefully you'll get some clear answers soon and know where you're at.

I'm still not really sure where I am in my cycle, with my first loss I counted the first day of bleeding as CD1, and it ended up pretty much the same as a normal cycle that way, I ovulated on CD21 which is about usual for me with my 35 day cycles. The bleeding was very heavy that time but didn't last longer than my usual period. This time I didn't have any heavy bleeding but it went on for about 10 days, so I have no idea what to class as CD1. If I count the first day of bleeding this time as CD1, I'd be CD19 today I think, but don't think I'm near O yet. I've been using OPKs for 9 days now and they're getting lighter! I usually get some kind of line on them every time but there actually showing no line at all at the moment other than the control! Which makes me feel miles away from O, I was hoping it might happen this week. My CM is strange though, it keeps looking like it's starting to head towards EWCM, then back to less fertile. 

I'm due back at work tomorrow morning after being off on leave since the day the bleeding started, which happened at work. Absolutely dreading going back, but I suppose it's another step towards getting back to normal. Just dreading all the questions about the two days I had off 'sick' and about the trip I was meant to go on with my friend that we dropped out of last minute. I still haven't seen her, been putting it off and she still hasn't even asked how my scan went. Not sure if she's just waiting for me to tell her about it, but my guess is she just completely forgot about it, everything is going pretty well in her world at the moment so my issues are probably quite minor.

We were at my DH's family yesterday for lunch, it was nice to see them all but the first thing MIL said when she saw us was that some random person I don't even know just had her third baby, and then SIL turned up and randomly excitedly told us she has three friends all pregnant with their third baby. There seems to be happy baby news everywhere at the moment, and it's so hard to keep putting on a happy face about it all while I quietly die a bit more inside.


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## Aayla

Hey ladies,
So here I am just doing laundry and paperwork for my mom and the symptoms start. I have had headaches for the past few days (which was a major sign of ovulation and fertilization) and I am freaking out. my abdomen area is twingy and has the flushing/gurgling feeling. I have a flushed feeling, like my temp is up (major symptom after fertilization that never went away until the mc) and my boobs are tingly in the nipples. 

I am losing my mind. I am totally freaking out and since we are keeping this a secret from pretty much everyone there isn't anyone to really talk to. And I just know everyone will tell me not to get my hopes up. But I can't help it. Could I be so lucky?


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## amytrisha

I'm not actually glad my bleeding has stopped :lol: with finding out I was retaining placenta a couple of weeks back and I've had no clots or anything since so worried I haven't passed it. Time will tell.

Oh definitely test in a few days then Vicky! Fingers crossed! &#128513; Id just treat it as a normal cycle but bare in mind it may be a little irregular for a few months x

Lora :hugs: I'm 'glad' you've had a date you can finally lay Eden to rest, the idea with the flowers is beautiful xx

Good luck Aayla, I hope luck is on your side! &#128591;

I hope your first day back goes well Bubbles, tell people to keep their noses out if you can't handle their questions hun. Sorry about the meal :( completely agree I have 4 people I speak to who are all pregnant and due Feb/March and I can't help but feel a little bitter? I dunno what to call it but yeah I know how you feel! Keep your chin up xxx


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## sailorsgirl

Hi can I join you girls?

I lost my baby at 17 weeks, on the 21st August, baby slowed growth at 14 weeks. This is my 3rd mc with my first two being at 6 and 8 weeks. 

Xx


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## LoraLoo

So sorry to hear of your losses sailor girl xx

Vicky- bfn for me today too x

Feeling really fed up today &#128547;


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## bubbles82

Hi Sailorgirl, so sorry to hear of your losses.

Sorry to hear you're fed up Lora. Wish I could work some magic and bring all you ladies some happy times immediately!

Not having a great day here either, I managed two hours back at work and ended up sobbing on my boss and got sent home, so I went via the docs and got signed off until the end of the week at least. Wish I'd just not tried to go back now as I knew I wouldn't cope well, I just wanted to try and get on with it. Now I've just made it all worse and probably drawn more attention to the whole thing which I didn't want to do. Thought I'd be ok but I was bombarded with emails to sort about the two days I had off with my 'stomach bug', then a guy I work with was stood next to me going on about his neice who was born last night and flashing pics around, and then a pregnant colleague was wandering around, and I just seemed to have endless people asking if I've had a good holiday/time off which I didn't as I couldn't go on holiday in the end and had a pretty rubbish couple of weeks. I'm a rubbish liar and find it really stressful trying to keep up with all the excuses I've given because of what's happened, and keep a brave face on when I just feel so broken still. I text MIL to let her know she didn't need to have DD this week anymore as I've changed my hours at work (another lie as I'm not going to be at work and can't bare to ship my DD off for two days), and now she's upset as she was looking forward to having her and keeps messaging asking if there's any way she can still have her anyway.

I've had to phone up to cancel my first appointment at the ante natal clinic which should've been tomorrow, another unexpectedly unsympathetic person on the phone who should probably know better, and not a great experience at the docs when I asked about sorting out a sicknote for work, the over enthusiastic receptionist told me they sort them now and doc just signs them, so she filled in all my details then asked what the reason was probably expecting me to say some random injury or something, so I had to stand there at the front of a queue of people explaining what had happened. Then had to explain why I need more time off to DH, who just said 'I thought you were ok'. Can't wait to feel more normal again :cry:


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## Vicky_92

Hi sailorgirl. I am so sorry for your loss &#128542; This is an amazing thread I hope you get some support here :hugs: 

Thank you for the advice ladies. :) 

Loraloo- aww no &#128532; :hugs:


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## Vicky_92

Sorry bubbles that work is hard to you right now. I had a terrible day at work today &#128532; One of the girls who is off on maternity leave brought her two month old baby in and then another girl was talking about her daughters pregnancy at the same time (she has the same EDD as I had) and all about her scans etc. It's not fair &#128531; I had to run out the room and sobbed my heart out in the toilet


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## joo

Sorry I've been lurking lately but been too fed up, everything has just been going wrong at this end. Only trivial stuff, Our satellite dish broke and the engineer kept cancelling and just not turning up for two weeks, I had to use the money I had saved to start my sewing course so that's on hold again, then washing machine broke last week to be told yesterday it is not repairable (only had it since November!!) and to top it off this week I am due to ovulate but my BV is back so I think it's either triggered by my period or the gels only managed the symptoms and didn't clear the infection. I can't get an appointment until next week, so I am using the over the counter gels in the meantime but likely means I can't get pregnant this cycle :cry: Like I said, it's only trivial but after the miscarriage I just feel like nothing is going right. Anyway starting to feel better this week and I am hopefully starting a course in October to volunteer in ou local breastfeeding network next year so I am CLINGING on to that!

How is everyone?

Lora sorry, just seen you tested today :hugs: hopefully it's too early xx

Amutrisha has your bleeding stopped now? I got that jelly/mucous at the end too.

Sailorsgirl I'm so sorry this has happened to you :hugs: have you an the doctors looked in to what has caused this?

Bubbles I'm glad you managed to get more time off work. I think people really underestimate the toll a miscarriage takes on someone, I know I did. I thought I was fine, and then a couple of weeks later I was really not and other people have already moved on and don't think that I might still be struggling to deal with it. Try not to get worry about what people are thinking or what you are going to say. You don't have to say more than you are comfortable with, just come up with a generic response and end with a deflection to change the conversation to get them talking about themselves! Works a treat for me :hugs:


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## Sweety21

Lora, I am glad you finally hear from hospital. Eden will have her angel siblings to look after her.

Aayla and Vicky, good luck gals. Hope everything turns out the way you want it.

Amytrisha, yeah we could finally get dtd part out of way. About, your retaining placenta, I really hope and pray everything will be fine. fx for you.

Sailor gal, so sorry. We are here to support you.

Bubbles, Glad you could get some time off. It's really hard to be around so many baby talks.


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## LoraLoo

Bubbles- what a rotten day! Sounds like you did the right thing getting signed off for a while. Men just don't really understand it. They think if you have a good day you are then ok and alls well with the world!

I have no idea what's going on with me- I getting some bloody mucus. When I say bloody- it's literally just brown streaked/tinged. I have no idea if it's what's left over from mc or AF on her way? 
I don't get inplantstion bleeding so it's not that.

Bodies eh, who'd have em?! &#128513;


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## LoraLoo

Joo sorry you're having a rubbish time too, all those little things add up don't they? And can feel like big things when you're already feeling down. 

I drove into the next town just to go to the co op today because I couldn't face bumping into people in my local one. I just can't be doing with anyone lately xx


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## Kandl123

Hey girls. Just been in and out of here recently. Reading what you've been putting but not replied. 

Lora, I hope you get a bfp soon and I hope it's just too early to test for you. Also, I'm glad you finally heard back from hospital and th flower idea is so beautiful.

Sailorgirl, I'm so so sorry for your loss., you'll find great help here. I have believe me! 

Bubbles, sorry to hear about work.. The first day is always the hardest. I did the same as you cried but I Walked out. People will talk, but let them.. It's nothing to do with them. Nothing at all why you're off. If they cared, they wouldn't try be nosy they'd just try make sure you're okay. :hugs:

As for me, I was doing fine. Well so I thought. Had a cry today, as tomorrow should of been my scan day :cry:, also the duty manager who supported me through my miscarriage.. Well her daughter had her son today by planned csection. It broke my heart to see pictures. I know she's a happy nanan but still. I thought I would be OK to see them. She said she felt guilty talking about the upcoming to birth and i told her to stop been silly and told her I wanted to see pictures when he's here. Well she's sent me some like I asked and it just made me cry :cry:


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## Vicky_92

BFN today again &#128531;


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## LoraLoo

Snap Vicky. Oh well, least we can stick October out together. Think we might have a few more from this thread joining us next month too &#128521;


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## Kandl123

I'll be joining you both next month &#128513;


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## LoraLoo

Kandl I think it's inderstandable to get upset, I would be too in those circumstances! 

Glad you'll be joining us next month &#128515; I just want Af here now- I have a feeling it's going to be heavy and painful though? This will be my first one, expect it'll be sunday or Monday.


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## bubbles82

Aw Kandi sorry to hear about your sad times. I keep thinking I'll feel better once I lose track of how far along I should be each day, and get past all the days where I know a certain appointment or scan should've been happening, but it feels more difficult this time as I have pregnant friends who'll be a constant reminder all the way through their pregnancies of where I should've been. The friend who I seem to be moaning about a lot on here is really getting to me at the moment, and I'm not sure if she's actually being really insensitive or if I'm just being over sensitive. She posted on Facebook yesterday moaning about how she has to do the whole go sober for October thing and how rubbish it's going to be that she can't drink for a month. She obviously isn't really doing it as she's not drinking anyway and hasn't been since she got her BFP last month, so I just thought it was a bit of a stupid thing to put when she knows what I'm going through, but then it's not really anything to do with me so I don't know why I'm so bothered. She still hasn't asked about my scan so I don't think she even knows for sure yet that I lost my baby, and that bothers me too.

I'm finding all the new babies, bumps and pregnancy announcements so difficult at the moment, it really does feel like there's just so many more of them around when you least want to see them. I'm really trying to be happy for everyone else's news though as hopefully it will be my turn again one day, just feels like it never will be at the moment.


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## sailorsgirl

Oh Kandle I'm sorry it's so hard. My best friend is pregnant and is due the week after I was supposed to be due, so I'm constantly hit with reminders of where I should have been. I'm learning to take each day one at a time and cry if I need to.

Ah sorry about your bfn Vicky. We didn't protect a couple of time this month and I secretly hoped that we might have been lucky, but my af showed up yesterday. :( fingers crossed you get your rainbow soon.

Oh no bubbles that does seem a little insensitive. And a little strange to put on Facebook? 

As for me, I am trying to make final decisions about our baby's funeral, she will be cremated on the 6th October so we have music and readings to decide on, and flowers to buy. I also started a crochet blanket when I I found out I was pregnant and was about half way through it when we discovered the heart had stopped. I didn't know what to do with it, it didn't feel right to leave it unfinished but I didn't have it in me to complete it, knowing Leila would never use it. But it was suggested that we put small items in the coffin with her, and so I have split it in half, edged both halves and put one half in my memory box, and have the other under my pillow until we are able to wrap Leila in it ready for her cremation. (Sorry if that sounds wierd). 
I am also anxiously awaiting the post, we had a post mortem done on Leila to find out why we keep losing our babies but they told us it could take upto 12 weeks. :( 
And my best friend had her 20 week scan yesterday and has asked if her moses basket can be delivered here today as they are out at hospital appointments. The challenges never end do they? 

Xx


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## LoraLoo

Sailor the blanket sounds lovely. I hope the pm results bring you answers- we are also awaiting ours. Xx


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## amytrisha

Sorry for your loss SailorsGirl xx

Sorry your all having a hard time at the moment :( wouldn't wish this upon anybody!

I've started bleeding again.. Fresh red blood. What the hell is going on :( just wanna sit in a corner and cry tbh


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## LoraLoo

Amytrisha I wS literally just about to post same thing ive come home from shopping and I'm bleeding, not lots, was sort of mixed in with mucus. Was brown yest today bright red. Don't know if it's Af early or what's left over from mc or what? I've not bled for 2 weeks? Annoying!

So I've been to get roses for tomorrow, I've got pink for Eden and a white one for all of your angels too xx


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## Kandl123

LoraLoo said:


> Kandl I think it's inderstandable to get upset, I would be too in those circumstances!
> 
> Glad you'll be joining us next month &#128515; I just want Af here now- I have a feeling it's going to be heavy and painful though? This will be my first one, expect it'll be sunday or Monday.

I have a feeling it'll be heavy and painful too.. And I think it's due. Atm, I have horrible pains in my stomach.. Same sort of pains I had when I was misscarrying. So no idea what's happening. I've never had period pains before, so I can't relate to it if it's period pains or not


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## LoraLoo

Well I think I'm on cd1 &#128563; totally bizarre as I'm only 9 or 10 dpo- wonder if I never ovulated at all?! 

I'm ok with it if it is Af, what I don't want, is to think it's Af it its bleeding stop starting from the mc? It's so hard not knowing what's going on!


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## joo

Sailorsgirl that sounds a lovely thing to do both the crochet blanket. I hope they can find some answers from the post mortem. 

I can't imagine having to wait for all these results and plan a funeral and say goodbye that way, but it seems like the best way to say goodbye and get some closure. 

The roses will look lovely Lora, and thank you xx

Sorry Vicky and Lora about the BFN :( I didn't even get to testing as AF turned up on cue. I will probably be out this month too due to the BV, I have a couple of weeks until AF is due but it'slikely I will be in next month too!

Good to see you back Kandl xx

Amytrisha I had a couple of days with no bleeding then bright red bleeding would start again, this stopped and started for about a week. I hope it stops soon. Wish it didn't take so long to get proper cycles back!

MrsMac are you still with us? How are you doing lovely? Xx


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## bubbles82

Aw Lora that's lovely, I think I misread what you meant when you first mentioned the flowers, now I've read it right it's made me cry! Sorry about AF but hopefully it is AF and you're another step closer to your rainbow. 

Sailorgirl that's a really lovely idea with the blanket, doesn't sound weird at all. You're right about the challenges never ending, I keep thinking I'm ok but deep down I know it's going to be a while before I start to feel better and able to deal with things properly, it's so tiring making excuses all the time for how I'm feeling around people who don't have any idea what's going on, then I feel guilty like I'm pretending my baby never existed. I just had to make up a load of rubbish to my MIL when I dropped DD with her this afternoon about why I'm not at work, just told her I haven't been feeling well and she said I've looked awful for weeks...thanks! Doesn't help when our stories don't even add up, DH told me to just tell everyone we didn't go away as I was ill, which I did but then he told some people we didn't go coz he'd heard the place was rubbish?! So his brother knows something weird is going on as we wouldn't pay out for a trip and decide last minute to just not go because we heard it wasn't that good, and just stay at home instead. So his brother won't let it drop and keeps asking about it every time we see him and thinks it's hilarious for some reason. DH is trying to arrange a weekend away for us with his brother and sister in law just before Christmas, and I just really don't want to start planning that, as if we're TTC again we could end up expediting but not wanting to tell them, or even dealing with another loss, so either way I don't want to book a trip that far from home where the plan is to go round various bars, which will make it immediately obvious I'm not drinking and all the questions that come with that.


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## LoraLoo

I just wanted to say- as devastated as I am losing my baby (as we all are) I'm really really happy to have found this group. It's been my little bit of a silver lining to have such lovely ladies to talk to that are all going through the same, at the same time. 
I really hope this thread keeps going even as the weeks and months go by, that we get to know each other better, and that we will all have happier news to share in the future xx


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## LoraLoo

Re holidays bubbles- can you and hubby not just get away somewhere in your own? Maybe somewhere closer to home? Or is he really wanting to go with his brother?

I'm really wanting to abroad next year but it worries me, I wouldn't want to go heavily pregnant (or be able to fly anyways) but at the same time I don't want to put my life on hold for 'what ifs' - what if I'm pregnant? What if I need to cancel? What if I don't bloody get pregnant and have just postponed a holiday for nothing?! I hate Ttc &#128553;


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## Mrsmac02

joo said:


> Sailorsgirl that sounds a lovely thing to do both the crochet blanket. I hope they can find some answers from the post mortem.
> 
> I can't imagine having to wait for all these results and plan a funeral and say goodbye that way, but it seems like the best way to say goodbye and get some closure.
> 
> The roses will look lovely Lora, and thank you xx
> 
> Sorry Vicky and Lora about the BFN :( I didn't even get to testing as AF turned up on cue. I will probably be out this month too due to the BV, I have a couple of weeks until AF is due but it'slikely I will be in next month too!
> 
> Good to see you back Kandl xx
> 
> Amytrisha I had a couple of days with no bleeding then bright red bleeding would start again, this stopped and started for about a week. I hope it stops soon. Wish it didn't take so long to get proper cycles back!
> 
> MrsMac are you still with us? How are you doing lovely? Xx

Hey ladies, yeah still here - mad busy at work and DS been a bit poorly! So sorry I haven't posted in ages, just tonnes on! 

Afm, on cd24, think I might have ov a few days ago but didn't get much EWCM so don't think we'll catch it this month! I'm sorta glad though - I think it might be better for me if I get back on an even footing again cycle wise

Hope everyone's ok? 

Sailor gal, welcome - so sorry for your loss hon xx


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## LoraLoo

Oh god ladies I'm so sorry about this. I don't even know how to spoiler it. I'm so sorry if you've not eaten your dinner yet but I need to ask &#55357;&#56848;&#55357;&#56887; what the hell is this that just came out of me? It's a good job I never got pregnant with this still inside? Is it tissue? It was grey and (again sorry!) smelt pretty bad! My mc was complete as far as I know- as in I delivered bzby then placenta. I saw both. No follow up check or scan though. My tests have been negative for 2 weeks. Ideas? Do I need to see Dr for a scan?!
 



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## bubbles82

LoraLoo said:


> I just wanted to say- as devastated as I am losing my baby (as we all are) I'm really really happy to have found this group. It's been my little bit of a silver lining to have such lovely ladies to talk to that are all going through the same, at the same time.
> I really hope this thread keeps going even as the weeks and months go by, that we get to know each other better, and that we will all have happier news to share in the future xx

Aw that's lovely Lora, I was thinking the same but couldn't quite work out the words to say what I meant, you nailed it :thumbup:

Re the London trip, it's a bit complicated but FIL has a flat in London that's free on weekends as he just works there through the week. DH is obsessed with London even though we just went and stayed there a few weeks ago, he wants to go again, and MIL keeps trying to talk us all into going as she's desperate to have all the grandkids stay with her together (our DD and DH's brother's two kids). DH told his brother and SIL ages ago we should all go stay there together for a weekend near Christmas, and because MIL is pushing for us all to go away somewhere so she can have the kids, there's no chance for it to be forgotten about, so now SIL keeps asking if we've sorted dates off work yet to go. I think it has completely gone over DH's head that we can't really go now we're TTC, so I'm not sure what to do, we'll probably end up going along with it and planning something anyway and cancelling again last minute if we need to, like you say we can't put everything on hold for TTC. It gets to me how much it takes over your life, I don't enjoy BD anymore, and TTC is constantly on my mind from the second I wake up and have to temp and chart, to the minute I go to bed wondering if I should BD, and all the time in between charting, checking CM with every toilet trip, holding pee for OPKs... those people who never have to try have no idea how lucky they are.


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## bubbles82

Sorry Lora, must've posted at the same time. Not sure about your pic, looks to me like more mc tissue, maybe if it had a bad smell it was just leftover and took a while to get dislodged properly? Maybe wasn't a complete mc if you didn't have a scan or anything to confirm, but still on it's way out and not enough to show a positive HPT?


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## LoraLoo

I'm honestly not sure- I'm worried Theres more left in &#128555; no wonder ive been having tummy pains x


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## Kandl123

Looks like tissue to me Lora, but I could I could be wrong. If I was you I'd ring the doctor and try get in tomorrow. Especially with it been smelly too and you having pains.. As maybe you could have an infection? I'm so sorry you've had to pass that after everything you've already been through &#128542;


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## LoraLoo

Thanks I call tomorrow x


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## Aayla

Temp dip again this morning. With my last 2 cycle I spiked on cd18. I know this isn't a real cycle so who's knows. But I am pretty sure I didn't O and it was likely hcg that triggered the opk. Even though the Pg test was negative it had a sensitivity of 25. So it is definitely possible I had enough in me. 
I thought I would be more ok with it but today is a bad day. I had to dog sit for my mom and it put me back with packing by 5 days. My hubby injured his wrist and now can't do anything. We move on Saturday and I now have to pack the rest of the house and move it on my own. He can do so little right now. Combine that with weird hormones and my body keeps reminding me every day that I lost our little bean. Spotting isn't done like I hoped. It just disappears when I sleep but it is there through the day. 
Nope, today is not a good day


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## LoraLoo

Sounds stressful Aayla &#128542; xx


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## Mrsmac02

Oh lora, you're having such a rough time of it! Hope the doc can shed some light on things but agree with KandI, looks like tissue xx


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## Aayla

So my day ended okay. In non baby news I have been going back and forth between two career choices. There has always been something to make it so I can't go back to school. I have finally made a choice, a career I have wanted to be since I was 5. I have decided to be a teacher. My majors will be Math, Chemistry and French. Everything needed to get a full time position in my area. 
I had a discussion with hubby and he is all for it. He actually chose a career for himself finally. He is going to be a nurse. He didn't graduate high school so he has some upgrading to do but we are hoping to get him into college September 2016.


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## amytrisha

Id call the doctor if for nothing but reassurance Lora. 
The roses brought a tear to my eye too, thank you that's so special :hugs:

I agree, even though sad circumstances brought us all together it'll be nice to see each other's journeys.. Those TTC, those not etc :)

My bleeding is just that, bleeding. No clots or anything :/ random waves of cramping. Strange. Gonna test at the weekend, fingers crossed! 

Ahh Aayla sorry your having a stressful time! But it's great that you and your hubby have made plans for the future! Good luck, you can achieve whatever you put your mind to!&#9786;&#65039;


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## Kandl123

Have you booked an appointment with doctors lora?


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## LoraLoo

Hi, yeah I called first thing this morn and a Dr is calling me back but could be any time up to 7.30pm &#128533; 

So we bury Eden at 12. Here's her 4 pink roses (one for me and hubby and one each for our youngest 2 Alice and Will who will be with us) and the white one for your August Angels. Xx
 



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## LoraLoo

So that's my little one with her Sister and brother now &#128532; at least they're together
 



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## sailorsgirl

Oh so sorry loraloo. Hope it was a beautiful goodbye :( my heart brakes for you. :hugs: xx


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## Vicky_92

Loraloo- I'm sending you massive :hugs: thinking about you loads. I couldn't imagine how hard your day must have been, on the other hand, I hope it was a beautiful goodbye. Thank you for your posts about the roses, so thoughtful and so beautiful &#128156; I hundred percent agree I love this thread, and all you lovely ladies, I hope it keeps going 

I'm just waiting for AF to make an appearance xx

Hope everyone else is doing well


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## Sweety21

Massive hugs Lora. Beautiful roses. So kind of you think about all of us.

There are so many posts in Just two days but, hope everyone is ok. I will catch up soon hopefully.

I am glad to be part of the group and really appreciate all your support. Let's stick together.
Afm, Iam having temperature dips on alternate days don't know what's going on. Doctor however said I will be ovulating soon. So, hoping It's all done. Ready for my af. 
Made my mind and I am ready to join ttc October ladies. 
We are going on 2days get away soon and hope everything will turn out ok.


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## Aayla

Lora, my heart goes out to you and your family. I am sure it was a beautiful service. 

Today, for me, I woke up a bit happier. I have confirmed with my local college that I have been accepted into the Future Teachers Program. I am so excited to get started with that. We move in 2 days so there isn't much time to dwell on things. I am going to take a frer this weekend. Hoping it goes negative so I can get into the doc early. They want me to wait until Oct 2 but I am too afraid of missing the first cycle. 

I am glad of joining this group as well. It's been a refuge and a place where I can discuss what is happening with people who have been where I am.


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## Sunshine14

Big hugs Lora xxx the roses are beautiful xxx hope ur ok today hun thinking of u xxx

Hope everyone is ok? I agree this thread is a lovely group of women xx

I'm in no man's land 4 weeks post mc and wondering if af might show herself at some point but think it's probably going to be another couple of weeks &#55357;&#56853;


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## bubbles82

Beautiful Lora, thanks for sharing your photos with us. Glad Eden is finally at peace, sorry for your difficult day but hope it was a comfort for you in some ways too. 

Aayla sounds like you've had some stressful days, but sounds good you've got some good plans to work at, good luck with it all!


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## Kandl123

Big hugs Lora. That was so thoughtful of you with the flowers, brought a tear to my eye. Wonderful of you to think of us. 

Sunshine, you had any signs of af coming at all? Ovulation? & how long are your cycles usually?
I'm 24 days post mc, my cycles are 28 days and always have been, always on the dot too. So I'm hoping mine come in next few days


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## Sunshine14

Hey Kandl I'm cd29 today I think. My cycles are usually 26 / 28 days. Had loads of twinges in my right ovary, the bleeding spotting stopped last Friday and I got a semi + opk last Saturday (but never went +) then it went blank sunday and has been the same ever since. Have no idea if I O but hoping I might get af within next 2 weeks. What do u think? Hope u get yours soon hun x how's everything at work and with u and ur OH is he come to terms with ur loss now hun and not taking it out on u xx


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## Aayla

So I have been working hard packing and no spotting!! Not even when i wipe!! Hopefully I am not speaking too soon. But it usually starts up when I move around a lot. 
Fx this means it is all done.


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## kakae

Huge hugs Lora xx

I'm on day one, AF finally came today after just over five weeks so I can't wait to start trying.

Do you think we can share our ttc journeys on here together or best to keep it elsewhere just in case others aren't ready?


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## sailorsgirl

Not sure about everyone else but I'd like to see everyone's TTC journey whether it be here or elsewhere, not been here long but this thread is fab :)

We've finally chosen one of our songs for Leilas funeral. We are going to exit the chapel to Carrie Underwood's "See You Again" So that's our first decision made! Finally finding it in ourselves to do it :) 

Xx


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## Vicky_92

Hey kakae sorry for your loss. I was thinking the same thing about should we talk about TTC on this thread. I want to, but I know everyone has different feelings. If anyone wants to look I just posted something on the pregnancy tests section any advice would be appreciated xx


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## Aayla

I'm okay with it but if even one person isn't then we shouldn't. And if you are not okay with it please speak up. We can always create a group in TTC after loss and everyone is more than welcome to come on over and speak, lurke or whatever.


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## Vicky_92

Aayla agreed hundred percent &#128512; We have all been through horrible situations and we have been here for each other and I really want to keep us all together. FX this thread or other thread we make will be a lucky one &#128512;


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## Mrsmac02

I'd be happy to share TCC journey too, if everyone else is ok with it? 

We are still waiting on CD1 of the next cycle and will try properly from then x


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## Kandl123

Sunshine, in all honesty I have no idea how the ovulation tests work so I can't help you there.. I've never used them. Is there any chance that you could of ovulated before a day or two before the Saturday when you tested? Or do they go completely blank once you've ovulated? 
But either way, in my opinion, if your cycles are always regular on a 26/28 day cycle then I'd a left af to be here in next 14 days if not.. Then maybe do a pregnancy test? &#128513;

And work is alright to be honest, everyone's stopped with the bitching now. & my manager was fab with me, which is all that matters to me. OH, yeah he's been loads better now.. It's me that's been abit arsey with him now, as seeing my duty manager with her new grandson broke me. Then someone else's daughter at work is pregnant. Just brings back horrible memories. 

And to everyone else, I'd really like to share our TTC journeys in here too :)


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## Kandl123

Infact, can someone talk me through OPKs? Do you test every day? When in the day do you test? How can you tell a positive? Like some of you have mentioned a "faint positive".. Does that mean you're due to ovulate but you're not yet? Can you buy the cheapie ones from shops or just eBay?

I hope these questions are understandable & sorry if I sound thick haha.. I just have no idea cx


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## bubbles82

I'd like to share TTC journeys in here too if ok with everyone else. 

I thought my OPKs were finally starting to head towards positive a few days ago, and saw the start of EWCM, so managed to persuade DH to BD the last two days, but the OPKs look blank again today so I could still be miles off. I seem to be having real mixed signs, and no idea where I actually am cycle wise! I hate the idea I've got BD in that end up not being well timed at all. Also, sorry if TMI but does anyone else get confused over what is actually EWCM and what is leftover from DH when you've been BD if you get what I mean?!


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## bubbles82

Kandl123 said:


> Infact, can someone talk me through OPKs? Do you test every day? When in the day do you test? How can you tell a positive? Like some of you have mentioned a "faint positive".. Does that mean you're due to ovulate but you're not yet? Can you buy the cheapie ones from shops or just eBay?
> 
> I hope these questions are understandable & sorry if I sound thick haha.. I just have no idea cx

do you have any idea whereabouts in your cycle you usually ovulate? I think it depends how long your cycle is as to when you start testing, but I usually test once a day at first, then once the tests start showing a darker line I test two or three times a day to try catch the positive. The test line has to be as dark or darker than the control line to be a positive, but they seem to show almost blank to start with then start to show darker lines as you get nearer your positive. The instructions with mine say to hold your pee around 4 hours and not drink much so your pee isn't too dilute, but mine seem to work ok if I just hold it for 2 hours. You're best to test in the afternoon and not using FMU, although I usually get my positives late evening around 9pm.
I buy batches of the cheapies on eBay, I think you can also get them on Amazon, I've never seen them in the shops.


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## Kandl123

bubbles82 said:


> Kandl123 said:
> 
> 
> Infact, can someone talk me through OPKs? Do you test every day? When in the day do you test? How can you tell a positive? Like some of you have mentioned a "faint positive".. Does that mean you're due to ovulate but you're not yet? Can you buy the cheapie ones from shops or just eBay?
> 
> I hope these questions are understandable & sorry if I sound thick haha.. I just have no idea cx
> 
> do you have any idea whereabouts in your cycle you usually ovulate? I think it depends how long your cycle is as to when you start testing, but I usually test once a day at first, then once the tests start showing a darker line I test two or three times a day to try catch the positive. The test line has to be as dark or darker than the control line to be a positive, but they seem to show almost blank to start with then start to show darker lines as you get nearer your positive. The instructions with mine say to hold your pee around 4 hours and not drink much so your pee isn't too dilute, but mine seem to work ok if I just hold it for 2 hours. You're best to test in the afternoon and not using FMU, although I usually get my positives late evening around 9pm.
> I buy batches of the cheapies on eBay, I think you can also get them on Amazon, I've never seen them in the shops.Click to expand...

To be honest, I've really no idea when I ovulate. My cycles are always regular, always have been... 28 day cycle. I've been quite lucky in my past two pregnancies and got caught pregnant on first month of trying. But I've a feeling it's going to take longer this time, I don't know why... But something is telling me up try OPKs. 
Going to have a look on Amazon now for some


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## Sweety21

I feel It's is fair to share our journey here since we have already shared our little part of life here. After sadness happy news would be good. 
But, of course if anyone have problem we can go to ttc forum. 

Btw, we might need a poll or atleast names who all are in here. It will be easier to count everyone's opinion.


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## joo

Glad you're ok, Mrsmac xx

Loraloo, thank you for sharing those pictures, looks like you made it a very special goodbye :hugs: When I read your post about the bad smelling tissue you passed and the tummy pains, my first thought was to suggest a visit to the doctor. Did you hear back from your GP?

Kandl, thanks for asking about the OPKs. I was also wondering how to use them. Before I got my last BFP I was going to start using them on the next cycle. I think I will leave it and try in the next couple of cycles. I'm interested to see how you get on with them.

I was also wondering about the TTC conversation. I'm happy to have that discussed here, in fact I'm pretty excited to see each of you getting your rainbows!

Things are going better for me (or perhaps I'm seeing things more positively now?).I am getting a new washing machine tomorrow, no quibbles and didn't have to argue with the manufacturers. I went to an open day for the volunteering project I'm hoping to join and got to speak to some volunteers. I have my interview next week so it's all a step closer to getting my qualification in January! Just feel like everything is getting easier again. I've pretty much ruled this month out TTC, so just focussing on next cycle now :)


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## Kandl123

Glad things are looking better for you joo. Good luck for your interview too :). Looks like there's a few of us in October cycle ttc then :).

Sweety, I think a poll sounds good.. Can anyone add one? I'm always on my phone

I thought my af was on its way today.. Earlier when if been to the lol, there was a very light pink tinge on the tissue.. Same again a second time. Just been now & nothing :shrug:?


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## LoraLoo

Joo- yes I did, she booked me in for an appt yest , Dr felt my tummy n said he couldn't feel anything but has referred me for a scan, the appt will come through post.

Have been at a wedding today so will just catch up on posts now- hope everyone's ok? Xx


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## bubbles82

Kandl123 said:


> bubbles82 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Kandl123 said:
> 
> 
> Infact, can someone talk me through OPKs? Do you test every day? When in the day do you test? How can you tell a positive? Like some of you have mentioned a "faint positive".. Does that mean you're due to ovulate but you're not yet? Can you buy the cheapie ones from shops or just eBay?
> 
> I hope these questions are understandable & sorry if I sound thick haha.. I just have no idea cx
> 
> do you have any idea whereabouts in your cycle you usually ovulate? I think it depends how long your cycle is as to when you start testing, but I usually test once a day at first, then once the tests start showing a darker line I test two or three times a day to try catch the positive. The test line has to be as dark or darker than the control line to be a positive, but they seem to show almost blank to start with then start to show darker lines as you get nearer your positive. The instructions with mine say to hold your pee around 4 hours and not drink much so your pee isn't too dilute, but mine seem to work ok if I just hold it for 2 hours. You're best to test in the afternoon and not using FMU, although I usually get my positives late evening around 9pm.
> I buy batches of the cheapies on eBay, I think you can also get them on Amazon, I've never seen them in the shops.Click to expand...
> 
> To be honest, I've really no idea when I ovulate. My cycles are always regular, always have been... 28 day cycle. I've been quite lucky in my past two pregnancies and got caught pregnant on first month of trying. But I've a feeling it's going to take longer this time, I don't know why... But something is telling me up try OPKs.
> Going to have a look on Amazon now for someClick to expand...

That's a good start then, a regular cycle! Mine are so annoying, really miss my regular 28 days but they disappeared as soon as I started TTC! 

You probably ovulate somewhere between CD12 and 16, so maybe start the OPKs from around day 10?


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## Vicky_92

Hey loraloo hope your ok. Been thinking about you lots x


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## bubbles82

Lora are you feeling well generally? Hope your appointment comes quick and it ends up sorting itself by then anyway. 

Joo - glad things are looking up for you, it's awful when it feels like everything is going wrong. 

I've just started to feel a bit better in general today, but don't want to speak too soon in case I end up having sudden down days again like before. I think I really needed the time off work so glad I got that sorted, and will hopefully get back into that next week. And hopefully will have actually O'd by the time I go back so won't have to worry about missing it.

Bit random but does anyone else have bad skin after their loss? I think my skin must be quite sensitive to hormone changes, it always looks terrible when I'm pregnant, I don't know where this pregnancy glow thing comes from but it certainly doesn't happen to me, my hair and skin were terrible with DD. My skin started getting bad with my BFP this time but after the mc it has just got awful, spots all around my jawline. Makes me feel horrid.


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## Aayla

As per opk's:

You usually start using them about 4 days prior to suspected ovulation. Most of them say not to use fmu and the best time to test is between 10am and 8pm. When I got my positive I tested with smu and got a negative and tested again at 7pm (on 3-4 hour hold) the same day and got my positive. 

The test line is to be as dark or darker than the control line. There is technically no such thing as a faint positive. We have LH in our system at all times, at varying amounts. Most women will always get 2 lines on the test. 

The issue with opk's is that they can go positive and you may still not ovulate. Sometimes the body surges to ovulate but the egg isn't released. The only way to confirm this is with monitoring your temps at the same time. If no surge, and consistent high temps then no ovulation. If you still have hcg in your system it can go positive. So it is usually best to start using them the cycle after a mc and not before your first af. I had this happen unfortunately.


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## Aayla

Hey ladies! 

How is everyone doing? We are on very different time zones so I never know when your days end/begin compared to mine. As I write this it is 9:48pm on Friday Sept 25th. I am in Canada on pacific standard time, btw. 

Things are looking up here. We signed the lease, paid the rent and got the keys to our new place. We move tomorrow afternoon. And just as I made the decision to be a teacher I found out that I got accepted into the Associate of Arts - Future Teachers program at my local college. I had applied ages ago but they had the wrong email address so I only just found out. So awesome and I am so excited. 

I have had 2 full days with no spotting. I'm glad this is done. Now to just do another test to be sure the hcg is gone. I never thought there would come a day where I would want a negative test. :haha: 

Lora: somehow I missed the roses post. Thank you for thinking of all us. the roses are beautiful. I hope everything gets figured out soon for you. 

Bubbles: I had bad skin as a pregnancy symptom. Oh man was it oily. I could run my finger down my face and it was almost wet. My hair is so greasy that I absolutley must wash it everyday. Usually I can get away with going one day but now it's so gross. I figured out that the so called glow is just oily sheen :haha: I am still getting it. It went away for a bit but now it's back. It had me curious but I just think it's my hormones being nutty due to the mc. 

Kandl: it could be af and you are just spotting prior. I will have 1 or 2 days prior to flow that are just tinges on paper. How early is it?


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## Kandl123

It's 7.42am here in uk. So yeah very big time difference. 

Oooo bet you're excited about moving it, congrats :). Weird isn't it how you go from wanting a positive to a negative


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## Kandl123

Andddd... I had to come on here before work just to tell you.. THE WITCH HAS ARRIVED!!! Right on cue too, I've always come on, on a Saturday morning.. & here she is just like I predicted.. Never been so happy for it to come haha, now I can officially start TTC


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## Vicky_92

Yay kandl. &#128512;


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## Aayla

Kandl: Yay for AF and a new ttc cycle!!! 

vicky: looks like you are 8 hours ahead of me. So as I end your yesterday you are beginning my tomorrow. So weird how that works. How is the testing going? Have you done anymore?


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## Vicky_92

Yeah I'm like kandl in the UK it's 9:20 here now where are you from. Yeah don't want to say much on this thread just because I don't know if everyone is ok with it. Look at that thread I posted yesterday on the pregnancy test section :)


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## Aayla

I am in British Columbia Canada. about 45 min east of Vancouver.


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## Vicky_92

Aw right. What time is it with you atm? x


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## Aayla

1:36am lol


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## Vicky_92

Flip I'd be snoring away if it was that time here haha.


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## Aayla

I had a very late nap. I am just trying to get everything done for the move. Not entirely ready. Thankfully we are moving in early so if something doesn't get done we can come back. 

I will be going to bed soon. 

Question: how soon did the pregnancy tests go negative. I am 3 weeks from the start of bleeding but about 2 weeks from when everything passed. Last weekend the frer was blazing but the 25 miu dollar store ones eventually went negative. I want to test sunday morning so I can call my doc monday if it's negative but they wanted me to wait until Oct 2. I just want to get in and get my biopsy done asap. I have a feeling af will come pretty close to on time. I also don't want to waste $15 on a frer just to have it come positive.


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## Vicky_92

I'm not really sure, my bean stopped growing for a while I think, l was 6 weeks when I started bleeding and at the scan they couldn't see anything and said my numbers were very low. I did take a test but I can't remember when it was negative sorry xx


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## Aayla

I was 5+5 and at my scan they saw nothing, they thought I had already passed it but I didn't pass anything for another week. I guess there is no choice but to get a test and just do it. lol I have never so desperately wanted just one line.


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## Vicky_92

FRER are so dear flip sake. Ack big massive :hugs: I really hope it's just one line for you. And you can get on the TTC boat and have your rainbow :hugs:


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies : )

Kandl yipee for af that is so cool ur body's back on track hun.

Aayla good luck with the move hun! The pg tests will only turn negative when ur hcg gets below 20 / 10 or whatever level the test is. I'm cd32 today and have a small piece of retained placenta and tests still show a shadow at 10ui.

Vicky I couldn't find your other post hun will have to go have another snoop around! Sounds exciting though.

Joo good luck for ur interview next week.

Mrs Mac how u doing what cd are you now?

Lora and Amytrisha and Bubbles and Sweety and Kakae hope ur all well. Hi to anyone I missed.

Sailorgirl that sounds like a lovely song choice x

Re the posting on here about ttc - I found this thread a lifesaver when I was going through my horrendous mc (thanks Mrs Mac) but I think I would have been really really upset to come to the miscarriage support section and stumble on a thread with women talking about their rainbows / ttc. I think I would have found it really insensitive so I'm wondering for the sake of other women actually in the process of mcing should we move it up to the ttc after loss section and just call it same title and we all migrate up there? Just a thought I would hate to upset other women actually in process of mcing .....

I'm cd32 today and I thought af had arrived yesterday as sorry for tmi but I bled bright red blood for about 11 hours enuf to need a pad but did not fill it and then it stopped again last night - do u think that might have been last bit of retained placenta broken down? & now I will get proper af in 4 weeks!? So fed up of this crap!

Sorry for long post.


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## Vicky_92

Sunshine I think my thread is called advice please freaking out or something. I agree with some people may find it insensitive just hope we can all stay together :) and all get our rainbow babies. Xx


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## Vicky_92

Sunshine sorry about your confusion about AF, really hope you get some answers soon... I'm not really sure sorry xx :hugs:


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## Sunshine14

Found ur thread Vicky I was looking in the wrong place doh! I posted up there that is AWESOME hun xxx

It seems we all feel a bit weird about talking about ttc & rainbows on here! we could do a vote thing like Kandl said or MrsMac could move it up and we might be able to talk freely then??


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## Vicky_92

Thank you you sunshine. Just realised there that it was a month today I lost my little bean &#128549; I have too much emotions right now. 

Brilliant idea I'm not really good at making polls and stuff cos I use my mobile for this site so I can't do a lot. Does anyone know how to do it? Lol xx


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## Aayla

I think Sunshine is right. I started to think that way too. This is in the miscarriage support section so when we get to the point of ttc or we feel we are ready to move on and are able to hear other people's stories of ttc we can go on to the ttc after loss section. 

Whoever is the first to create a thread just let us know the title so we can come and be a part of it when we are ready. then not only can we be there when we are ready but we can also be here if we so choose to help support the newcomers to this thread (fx there are few of those). Also, there are some women that when they move on, that's it, they don't really want to hear anymore sadness as it can bring them back to their own loss and a new thread will be able to keep us all together while respecting the varying circumstances and needs of the others.


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## Vicky_92

And it's decided then... New thread it is :happydance: what should we call it? xx


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## Sunshine14

That's lovely Aayla xxx respects everyone and allows each of us to decide what to do. What about ' August loss group Operation Rainbow' lol


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## Vicky_92

I like it &#128076;&#127996;


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## Sunshine14

What do u think MrsMac and other ladies? Should we start another thread in ttc or vote on it first?


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## Mrsmac02

I think we should do a thread in TTC after loss forum, could call it August loss rainbows or something? Should I set it up and paste a link? Cx


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## Vicky_92

Go for it :) I'm excited xx


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## Mrsmac02

Here it is! 

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/t...oss-thread-ttc-our-rainbows.html#post36232085


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## bubbles82

New thread is a great idea, definitely wouldn't want to upset anyone who finds themselves needing the support of the mc forum the way I did in the early days. Will see you lovely ladies there! :thumbup::happydance:


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## Kandl123

Just finished work.. Looks like I've missed a lot, but will catch up with you all later :) xx


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## Aayla

Looking forward to the new thread!

Took a frer this morning and it was so weird. It took longer than normal for the control to come up. there is a second line but it barely has any colour. If a regular ttc person got this we would likely tell her to test again but we would likely say it's bfp. Part of me wants to call the doc anyway. If I was taking any other test it would come up negative. FRER's are just so sensitive but I just can't afford to keep taking them throughout the week and I really don't want to wait another week and maybe miss the first cycle. 

What would you guys do?


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## LoraLoo

Post a pic aayla! Honestly- Id test again in the morning but I'm so impatient lol! Xx


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## Aayla

Here it is. Pic is after the 10 min mark but the line was there at 5 min. Remember I am looking for a BFN to move on and get my biopsy done and over with. Is this too positive? Last week the dollar store tests were negative.
 



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## LoraLoo

Hmm. Still looks pretty positive to me. What are the chsnces if it being a new pregnancy?


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## Aayla

Next to nil. lol I am sure I didn't ovulate and if I did I would only be 5 dpo so nothing would be showing up. Last week a frer was blazing positive and I had 1 positive dollar store. the next 2 days showed negative dollar store tests. Well this is lighter than last weeks. I wish they would give me blood tests so I can see the numbers difinitively. POAS to see levels is pointless since they have no idea what tests I am using, or how sensitive that individual test is.

this test is similar to the one at 13 dpo. I was under 17miu then (14dpo had me at 17). I wonder why it took 5 days to go from 365 to 31 but it's taken 2 weeks to go from 31 to maybe 15. at this rate it could be another 2 weeks before it's all gone.


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## LoraLoo

It does seem to be taking a while doesn't it. Our bodies work in funny ways that's all I can say! Really hope it goes negative soon for you xx


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## Aayla

I guess I just have to wait it out. I may call my regular doc. He's more ammendable to giving me blood work. Would I even get AF if hcg is still in my system?


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## LoraLoo

I think so yeah. I ovulated with it still in my system then got Af a week Later (I think) it's all guesswork isn't it- I can't wait to have a proper cycle and know we're I am. Definitely ask for blood work again- It really should be negative now going by those numbers xx


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## Vicky_92

:hugs: Aayla


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## Aayla

ugh. I spotted today. Didn't feel it at all but when I went the bathroom there it was. I guess it was too much to ask that this is all finished. 3 days...I got 3 days of nothing and it was blissful. It was getting hard last week because every time I went to the bathroom it became a constant reminder of what happened. 

I am hoping that maybe it was just my moving stuff all weekend (I was lifting a lot of stuff). I really hope it isn't af. Too soon. I still have to take a test this friday for the doc to see where we are at with hcg and then get my biopsy done, and then the results. 

arg. this all sucks. there is one other possibility but it didn't happen last time and I don't want to get my hopes up because other than the + opk that probably just picked the hcg I have no other signs it happened...but today is cd23. If I did O on my expected day it would be 6dpo...implantation maybe?


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## Sweety21

Hi everyone! 
I am really busy with dd and don't have much time to catch up but, hoping everyone is doing well. 

I joined the other ttc thread hoping to see ya all there soon. 
xoxo


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