# Did anyone have a gender preference with their first?



## hello_kitty

I am having a gender scan on Monday and I am really nervous. At first I didnt care what gender I will be having but then my family started preferring a girl and saying how nice a girl would be, and how a boy would never stand up to a girl. Since then, I really wanted a boy to prove them wrong, that a boy would be just as nice.  Now that my bump is showing, it is attracting others to comment, even strangers. A lot of people think I am carrying a girl based on the shape of my bump. Even the old wives tales says I will be having a girl. I would love a girl if only my family didnt butt in. Did anyone have a preference with their first born?


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## Mummy2B21

No i didnt i knew id love one of each so i didnt mind what comes first lol although i have always wanted a daughter, but since having my son i would be morr than happy with all boys im really enjoying him, i do hope ill have a daughter one day but i dont mind if my next is another boy and i think my son would live that too.


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## ILoveYouZandT

All three pregnancies I have wanted a girl. 

My first I wanted a girl, but new very quickly after I found out I was pregnant that he would be a boy and I was right. No big deal, ideally a boy then a girl is what would have been preferred!

My second I was sure I was having a girl, alas our little Tigger came to be lol. 

This time I feel it is another girl, but I can no longer trust my intuition LOL!! 

Good luck either way. =)


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## hello_kitty

I would've gladly accepted either gender if only my mom didnt try to persuade me how bad having a boy would be. She also strongly feels I am having a girl. I guess I am the rebellious type. If I end up having a girl my thought would be "darn it, she's right". With that said, you really cant choose the gender can you? I guess I should be happy that I have a baby at all. Last time I miscarried in December, my mom said it will be very difficult for me to get pregnant again. Well, she was dead wrong. We took a break the first 2 cycles, and fell pregnant the 3rd cycle. Hope she is wrong again this time.


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## daisymay11

I am currently pregnant with my first and although I really don't mind either sex for the first I have always wanted a daughter so in a way I hope it is a girl so I can stop worrying if it will ever happen. OH says I am cut off at two so if this is a boy I will definately have a preference for the second as much I don't want to feel this way.


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## Kirei

I ALWAYS wanted a girl. Since as long as I could remember. One baby, a girl. I can't say why but that's all I ever wanted. It took us YEARS, and IVF, to conceive. I started thinking I wouldn't be able to have any babies, yet STILL I only wanted it to be a girl if I did conceive. I knew I would love a boy just as much but I just couldn't imagine one, if that makes any sense at all. Everyone who knows me knew I wanted a girl, so I would have found it hard to act happy if it was a boy. Whenever my friends got pregnant and found out it was a girl, I was jealous, if it was a boy I thought poor you, I would be gutted (I didn't SAY that, lol). I have been completely obsessed with having a girl. 
I got into a huge row with a family member who I basically broke down in front of a week before my gender scan. I found it really hard to say how I was feeling and how worried I was that this might be a boy and she shouted at me, saying I should be glad I'm pregnant, lots of people can't get pregnant, and I had IVF so I should be grateful for a baby at all, not being selfish wishing it was a girl. This got me really upset so I was glad I could talk on BnB without being called those things. Yes of course I KNEW I was lucky to be pregnant, I KNEW other people found it hard (I knew first hand what it was like to TTC for years and not get anywhere), but just because I had IVF I wasn't allowed to feel that way? My feelings weren't as valid as someone who'd gotten pregnant easily? I didn't talk to my family about how I felt after that and it was hard. I'd reached out for support and got that in return, it was the first time my family hadn't supported me or listened to how I'd felt and they basically made me feel like a selfish b**ch.
I knew I would more than likely only have one baby (because I can't afford IVF again) so I really really wanted the girl I always imagined, it's not like we could just "keep trying" for a boy, but my family didn't understand that. They said because I had trouble getting pregnant I had no right to be picky.
So yes, I desperately, desperately wanted a girl. If it had been a boy, I'd have come round to the idea, I know I would have, but I'd have mourned the girl I was hoping for and expecting. 
When I had the gender scan, it was a girl. I was thrilled! Then only a few weeks later the anxiety set in, what if they were wrong? They only said they were "pretty sure and couldn't guarantee". My baby was breech so at 36 weeks I had a scan for that and got them to check again, yes, definitely a girl. She was born this year, and I have got my beautiful little girl.
I'm not ashamed (even though my family seemingly wanted me to be) of saying how much I had wanted her to be a girl, and how much I really DID NOT WANT a boy and would have been devastated if it had been a boy. 
Yes, I have my girl and I know how lucky I am to even have a baby with all my fertility problems, and I know I'm especially lucky to have a girl. I'm not going to have any more babies but I hope I can still offer support to people on here because I know how you feel and I know how nice it was for me to get some support from BnB when I felt like that and my family made me feel like s**t about it xxxx


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## skunkpixie

With number 1 I wanted a girl, but I wasnt worried or anxious about it. I just knew she was a girl from word go, it wasnt really a question in my mind, I didnt even contimplate having a boy. Out of my siblings and counsins on my mums side there are 11 girls and 2 boys, and the boys were 3rd and 4th babies so it never really entered my head I would have a boy first! Even out of us cousins that have children (just me and one other) there are 5 girls and no boys! xxx


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## katherinegrey

I desperately wanted a girl, this pregnancy has been quite rough on me and I thought if I only have one child, I want it to be a girl. It isn't. It's a boy. At first I was totally gutted, and cried after my gender scan, but I came round really quickly, much quicker than what I thought I would, now I'm so excited to meet my baby whatever his gender. However, I'd be lying if I said I didn't still get jealous when I see women announce they're having girls, or when I see all the beautiful pink baby things. I just hope and pray that the next one is a girl, I still really feel I want a girl, I just need a daughter. I know I'm blessed to be pregnant with my son, but I definitely want him to have a sister.


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## danni2kids

ILoveYouZandT said:


> All three pregnancies I have wanted a girl.
> 
> My first I wanted a girl, but new very quickly after I found out I was pregnant that he would be a boy and I was right. No big deal, ideally a boy then a girl is what would have been preferred!
> 
> My second I was sure I was having a girl, alas our little Tigger came to be lol.
> 
> This time I feel it is another girl, but I can no longer trust my intuition LOL!!
> 
> Good luck either way. =)

This sound's just like me LOL!!

My first i wanted a girl and was convinced he was, was a little shocked when they said "it's a boy" at my 20 week scan and it took me a week to get my head around it. (this is the reason i like to find out what i'm having)

Number 2 i wanted a girl and truly thought he was too!!!

This pregnancy i have lost faith in my intuition too and i'am excpecting to be told at 20 weeks baby is another boy!!!


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## Snow Owl

I'll admit I'd prefer a boy, only because I don't think I'd have a clue what to do with a girl? I'm a tom boy and so if they wanted to play makeup and dress's I'd be like 'ummmm go see grandma' Lol


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## Bjs2005

katherinegrey said:


> I desperately wanted a girl, this pregnancy has been quite rough on me and I thought if I only have one child, I want it to be a girl. It isn't. It's a boy. At first I was totally gutted, and cried after my gender scan, but I came round really quickly, much quicker than what I thought I would, now I'm so excited to meet my baby whatever his gender. However, I'd be lying if I said I didn't still get jealous when I see women announce they're having girls, or when I see all the beautiful pink baby things. I just hope and pray that the next one is a girl, I still really feel I want a girl, I just need a daughter. I know I'm blessed to be pregnant with my son, but I definitely want him to have a sister.

Along the same lines, I also want a girl so bad. This is my first and I am only 6 weeks right now, but I already think it's a boy. I am hoping girl but I did the gender ring swing test and it says boy every time! :( I know I will love it so much either way, but it will be hard to take at first. My family wants a girl but my dh wants a boy (he has 6 nephews, 1 neice on his side and wants to add more boys in the fam...). That makes me want a girl so bad because it seems all he cares about are his nephews and he wants our little bean to be just like them...another lil' guy to wrestle with. It could just be pregnancy hormones causing this, plus overthinking, but I still have a while until the gender scan...I guess only time will tell. 

If I have a boy this time, I am still planning on having more kids and trying for a girl to be the little sis! On the plus side of having a boy first, he will get to be the protective big brother the younger sibs!

Sorry for any negativity, but thanks for letting my vent a bit to you fellow bnb'ers!


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## hello_kitty

Found out on Monday that I am having a little boy. Just exactly what I wanted! I would've gotten around to the idea if it was a girl, but boy was my preference. I just want the younger siblings to have a protector. Growing up, I really wish I had an older brother. If the next one is a boy though, or if I keep getting boys, I'd be devastated. Ready for pink next time, just hope it will happen the way I want it to be. Congrats to the ladies who got the gender they hoped for, and good luck to those who will find out soon!


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## jenniferttc1

I wanted a girl, and have all girls in the house. I never wanted anything to do with little boys and their rough house and messes. I found out he was a boy and I was devestated for a few weeks but I did not let it known to anyone. But since giving birth to him and I think he is the most wonderful little boy and I would LOVE it so much if I had all boys and and a house full of them running around. My husband on the other hand is really wanting a girl next time, but I don't really care honestly. Girl would be nice I guess, but boy would be great too!


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## BeccaxBump

I want this baby to be a girl, due to the fact this is the only baby we're having and that I want really. I just don't do boys - not me. I raised my little sister with my mum when I was 14 and she was amazing to bring up.
xoxox


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## xxEMZxx

Yes I really wanted a boy but was convinced I was having a girl, everyone was actually apart from my Mum lol. My Mum was right :) x


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## Samie18

I wanted a girl badly so i convinced myself from day dot i was having a boy so i wasn't dissapointed.
At the 20 week scan the couldn't see as the legs were crossed but had to bring me back 2 weeks later to do the rest of the checks as they couldn't see everything. Luckily this time the legs were uncrossed and it was a GIRL =o) I was super happy.

I had a rotten pregnancy with sickness all day everyday, horrendous heartburn which made the sickness worse and i couldn't eat as i was so sick but not eating made me feel worse so i'd eat and be sick more...i then got restless legs and pelvic girdle pain. I then had labour all in my pelvic bones i felt like i was snapping in half and i now have damage to my coccyx. My little girl then got colic really bad mixed with reflux so we had a hard time so i'm even more grateful now that she was a girl because i never want to go through it again but had she been a boy i would have to had another!


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## kaylajade.x

This is my 1st and I was so convinced I was having a boy (for no reason at all) and i refused to look at clothes and other things for girls thinking 'I'm not going to be able to buy that.' I badly wanted a girl... So I got one of the biggest shocks when I found out I was actually expecting a girl I could not be happier 

x


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## oliviarose

Yes I did... I was desperate for a girl first time around and was so lucky and got my little girl.....

That being said I would love all girls...... Will find out soon what this baby is and am so worried it is gonna be a boy........


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## Buttercup84

I had a slight girl preference and felt that I was carrying a girl but at my 20 week scan once she'd done all the checks and confirmed that my baby was healthy I honestly didn't mind either way. As it turned out she was a girl so my intuition was right :winkwink:


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## Sass827

I desperately want a boy. I'm only 6 weeks along with baby #1, so much time to wait. I want a boy so he can be the protector. I also need a boy so my MIL doesn't ruin my life. She's been waiting 35 years for a girl, so I know if I have one, she will never, ever leave me alone. 
Thanks to all of you for making me feel so not alone.


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## hannahhlove

To be honest, I didn't really care. OH wanted a boy and so did his family. My family and best friend wanted LO to be a girl. I wanted a girl cause I ALWAYS wanted a girl, from the time I was like 2 and played with dolls! My boyfriends a mechanic, so really into cars, dirt biking, etc. - all that boy stuff so he really wanted a boy. Since this baby wasn't planned and is our first I really wanted him to get his boy and be happy - but at the same time I wanted a girl. I spent so much time convincing him that there was a possiblity it's a girl, that I think I convinced myself it was a girl too :haha: When I found out he was in fact a he, I was happy, and estatic for OH. I didn't really care, as this is my first and I've always wanted an older brother. I keep telling OH that I'm getting my girl at some point though. Whether or not I have to have 15 boys first or not. :)


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## ILoveYouZandT

danni2kids said:


> ILoveYouZandT said:
> 
> 
> All three pregnancies I have wanted a girl.
> 
> My first I wanted a girl, but new very quickly after I found out I was pregnant that he would be a boy and I was right. No big deal, ideally a boy then a girl is what would have been preferred!
> 
> My second I was sure I was having a girl, alas our little Tigger came to be lol.
> 
> This time I feel it is another girl, but I can no longer trust my intuition LOL!!
> 
> Good luck either way. =)
> 
> This sound's just like me LOL!!
> 
> My first i wanted a girl and was convinced he was, was a little shocked when they said "it's a boy" at my 20 week scan and it took me a week to get my head around it. (this is the reason i like to find out what i'm having)
> 
> Number 2 i wanted a girl and truly thought he was too!!!
> 
> This pregnancy i have lost faith in my intuition too and i'am excpecting to be told at 20 weeks baby is another boy!!!Click to expand...

Didn't see this until now! I didn't have gender disappointment with my first, it took 4 years to conceive him so a baby was a baby too me lol! 

With my second it lasted all of 10 seconds before the excitement set in, but only because I knew I could try again. (As I've said elsewhere already).

This time I am SO EFFING DESPERATE for this baby to be a girl! I think I need the baby to be, for myself, for my son and for my husband. Our son has behavioral issues, we've had a lot of struggle. He loves his little brother but keeps saying if it's another boy he's going to fight it. He needs a little sister, I can't exactly explain why. I feel like another boy is somehow going to affect our family negatively... I know I will always want to be pregnant again and I don't want to feel like that forever, but I know I will never get over it not having a little girl!!

But I've been trying to prepare myself for the "It's a boy!" phrase again. I keep telling myself "You never get what you want in life, why would you now?!". Ahhh. I'm terrified to find out, but I know I need to. I will love this baby regardless... I'm just so effing desperate. And people just seem to make jokes about it, I've become a big joke with my desire for a daughter... No one around me understands. :nope:


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## FlowerTots13

I was determined I was having a boy, even though my first instinct was i was having a girl, then as my OH made out he wanted a boy and everyone else thought baby was a boy too, I think I thought this as my family is full of girls and wanted to be different. 
When I had my gender scan and turned out baby was a girl, I thought OH would be gutted as all he mentioned was boy, but he took it better then me and was over the moon! I do hope if we have more babies, that I have a boybut we'll see!


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