# Asking for money for a wedding present



## Doodlebug.

....would you do this? Is it rude??

My OH and I have been living together for 4 years now so we dont need anything for the house. We would much rather have money to go towards our honeymoon.

Would it be rude to request that people give us money instead of a gift?

How would I go about doing this without seeming ungrateful?:dohh:


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## michyk84

we did this & we were truly spoilt by our guests we put in a little poem in with our invites that said about it in a nice way but did say the only prescense we needed was that of our guests on the day but like I say we got spoilt just google search for money wedding gift poem or similar


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## Lauren25

No not rude at all, I think a lot of people do it now a days because most people live together before getting married!

I've seen some lovely poems which is what we'll be doing!


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## KittieB

No that's definitely not rude. It seems standard, everyone I know that has got married recently has asked for money.

We also already live together so have everything we need and we wouldn't be able to afford a honeymoon otherwise. We really want to take our little boy on his first holiday for our honeymoon.

There are poems that you can put in the invites that ask for money instead of presents. 

"We look forward to spending our special day with you and request your presence and not your presents.

If you wish to give a gift, we would appreciate money towards our honeymoon to make it extra special"

There are also some longer ones here... https://www.weddingsdevon.org.uk/content/wedding-poems-asking-for-money-as-a-gift.asp


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## jojo2605

I don't think it's rude to specify if people ask what you want however I decided against putting it on the invitations as it just didn't feel right to us. Seems a little... not rude, but perhaps presumptious? I don't know! I didn't want people to feel that they _had_ to contribute, but then I know a lot of people we know are struggling at the moment so that probably affected our decision more than anything.


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## mummymunch

we're askign for money, we're just putting a bit in the invite saying all we need is their presence but if they want to give us a presentmoney towards our honeymoon would be great!


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## Perfect_pink

We done this at our wedding an were so so spoilt, we put a poem in our invites asking for money for our honeymoon, we were at the best expecting a few days in the lakes as we love it there but we ended up woth a 5* all inclusive 2 weeks in cancun mexico, it was amazing and we are eternally grateful to pur family and friends ! X


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## Doodlebug.

thanks girls, i feel better about it now. wasnt sure what the proper "etiquette" was :blush:

Mexico sounds great perfect_pink :cloud9:


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## fairyhut

To be honest I think this is what most peeps do these days. We did it at our wedding and my friend who is getting married next week are doing it too. They wrote a poem and are having a 'wishing well' fab idea i think


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## Perfect_pink

Mexico was out of this world, an amazing place and and amazing honeymoon, id reccomend it to anyone x


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## mrsbeano

I'm not the biggest fan of the poems but if it is for a honeymoon you can set up accounts with cooperative travel or trailfinders and people can put money into the accounts specifically for it. I find this to be more polite. People are always so jealous as has been said before xx


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## jms895

I added a request at the bottom of my invites about money as we have been together 10 years. I think its what most people expect now and the weddings I have been to have been the same. xx


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## Eve

I am going to let the guests know (in a nice way lol) that we will be having a wishing well at the reception :)


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## 08marchbean

we asked for money, didnt put it on invitations just if people asked thats what we said. some people still got gifts instead of money and some people gave vouchers instead of money, i dont think its rude at all, its better than them spending the cash on unwanted/uneeded gifts. Most poeple didnt listen to us :haha: (dont know why people give vouchers when you ask for money as you can see the value anyway whats the difference putting cash/cheque in???) but i know a few people who got plenty for a lovely honeymoon from gifts.


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## mama2b

I don't think its rude but I prefer to give a present as I can usually spread the cost then on my credit card. I certainly spend more on a gift whereas cash I am usually hard pressed for so they could end up with £20 whereas I would spend between 30-40 on a gift.

For my wedding I have done a small gift list at Next and have the options of money/gift vouchers.

I think its nice to have the choice as I find women like to buy a gift and wrap it whereas men would just write a cheque or buy some vouchers ! Just my opinion.


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## manhead

i dont think its rude, me and oh have done the same, have a look on ebay for money poems there is some lovely ones


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## honeybee2

we asked for money and got about £1000+ in the end. We took it on honeymoon and didnt have to worry about spending and we spoilt ourselves rotten! 

Our guests thought it was a brill idea- less work for them!


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## tinkerbelle93

Do it as a little poem on the invite? xx


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## dizzy65

offer to do a money tree we did that at my grandmas 80th and it worked great!


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## sophxx

I personally think it's rude but I k iw people who gave done it.


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## Rhi_Rhi1

when people say they would "like" money BUT u don't have to give anything you instantly feel like a cheap skate if you don't give money :/ lol personally giving money to people at weddings is my pet peeve. i think it should be left out of the invite all together... :) 
if someone invites me to a wedding, i would use common sense in what to buy them, etc if they live together i would assume buying them a toaster is redundant  but the problem with money is that if you have to give it, then you end up feeling funny about how much to give, at least with a gift it isn't AS obvious what the value was.... and when people ask me for money i instantly panic about the amount, and wouldn't give anything less then 50 for fear of looking "cheap" even though i think thats loads... but if i was buying a gift i would never spend more then 30 ... i dno if i am making any sense or not haha lol x


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## Miss_d

Tbh my opinion is I think it's rude. We've invited family and friends to our wedding to celebrate our marriage. If guests choose to give us a gift or cash it would be very much appreciated. But I would not expect to get anything nor did I write it on my invites.


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## Rhi_Rhi1

And also... i don't want to pay for their honeymoon(in the general sense) lol! no one pays me to go on holiday ! haha maybe i am bitter because i have never been engaged or w.e  x


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