# Very dissapointed :( What to do



## JayMari

I'm very grateful to have a healthy active little baby growing inside of me, but today at my 20 week scan I was very dissapointed. I cried all the way home at the knowledge that i am having a little boy. I think the dissapointment mainly stems from how I feel about my baby's father , also my boyfriend... I've been feeling so distant from him lately, I don't want him around or touching me. I feel like my little boy will look just like him. I don't want to be with my baby's father forever but now I'm trapped. Sometimes I wish he'd just be a deadbeat and leave me alone but he's estatic about having a son so I know he's going to want to alwayssss be there. A nightmare :( as I was crying I was feeling like I would t love my little boy as I would love a little girl, it made me feel so bad and guilty that I thought that way of my son. The baby's dad also wants him to be a junior, I cannot take having to look at my son and call him this mans name, it's just not happening. I'm so down and I feel depressed about this I didn't know I would feel this way, the thought of having a boy never crossed my mind and if it did I'm sure I never thought I would feel like this. What can I do to feel better about this news :nope:


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## hylokitty321

Hi Hun
Awww I totally understand how you feel :(
Is this your first child?
Do you think that if the baby was a girl, then the daddy wouldn't be so excited and would eventually just leave? 
I know you feel depressed and even if he does look like his daddy, I promise you that when you see him and hold him, you will love him so much regardless of the father. About the name thing, you should definitely talk to your BF and choose a name that YOU like, (legally) and tell him that he's more than welcome to call him what he wants or let his name be his middle name? You are his mother so you should definitely have a big say. 

Also do you think maybe its just your pregnancy hormones that area making you get annoyed of your bf? Or was it always like that? Cus I am happily married at the moment but still for some reason I get annoyed of my husband like if he tries to bother me or touch me or joke around, I get so mad. I feel like he's a little kid annoying me lol. 

I hope things go your way and wish you happiness !


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## JayMari

hylokitty321 said:


> Hi Hun
> Awww I totally understand how you feel :(
> Is this your first child?
> Do you think that if the baby was a girl, then the daddy wouldn't be so excited and would eventually just leave?
> I know you feel depressed and even if he does look like his daddy, I promise you that when you see him and hold him, you will love him so much regardless of the father. About the name thing, you should definitely talk to your BF and choose a name that YOU like, (legally) and tell him that he's more than welcome to call him what he wants or let his name be his middle name? You are his mother so you should definitely have a big say.
> 
> Also do you think maybe its just your pregnancy hormones that area making you get annoyed of your bf? Or was it always like that? Cus I am happily married at the moment but still for some reason I get annoyed of my husband like if he tries to bother me or touch me or joke around, I get so mad. I feel like he's a little kid annoying me lol.
> 
> I hope things go your way and wish you happiness !

Yes this is my first, I'm 18 :( and either way if the baby was a girl or boy he'd be in our life but a little boy is a first time fathers dream! which isn't bad but I just can't handle Him being around all the freaking time. About the name, he feels he should have a say because its his child too, which is true but he has to compromise, atleast use his name as our sons middle name. I don't think it's hormones, I just don't feel love for him. He was an experiment I guess you could call it,I was lesbian for as long as I could remember, my heart will always be with females (no judgement) and I don't feel I can love him the way he loves me and the way I should. Now we're bound together by this blessing but its starting to feel like a curse because I have to look at my son who's probably going to look just like him and mostly likely call him junior. And seeing how happy he is just pisses me off even more. I feel so bad that I feel this way about him and our son, I know I'll eventually get over the gender issue but I don't kno if the father and I should peruse a relationship, even if its for the baby's sake.


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## Misscalais

Oh dear, don't really know what to say. 
I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I have two sons, one looks like his dad and the other one looks like me. You can't even see his dad in him at all lol! 
So just take it as it comes, just because there is a possibility of your child looking like his dad doesn't mean you won't love him or bond with him. Try not to push the father away through, it's not his fault you feel the way you do, but don't let it make u miserable either. I guess you have a lot of thinking to do.
:hugs: I hope you feel better soon.


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## JayMari

Thank u . Im trying not to push him away because I know oneday ill need him


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## jenniferttc1

Is it just your hormones making you feel the way you do about your boyfriend? I can honestly say from experience, that little boy will be the light of your life, and the reason you get out of bed and smile everyday. It's hard to picture it now, I had a hard time with my son, but he was my first, and I was naive about the unconditional love a mother has for their baby, no matter the gender :hugs:


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## JayMari

jenniferttc1 said:


> Is it just your hormones making you feel the way you do about your boyfriend? I can honestly say from experience, that little boy will be the light of your life, and the reason you get out of bed and smile everyday. It's hard to picture it now, I had a hard time with my son, but he was my first, and I was naive about the unconditional love a mother has for their baby, no matter the gender :hugs:

No , I dont think its hormones but I wish it was :( . Im startin to feel Alittle better about the gender issue, I hope I continue to progress


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## jenniferttc1

JayMari said:


> jenniferttc1 said:
> 
> 
> Is it just your hormones making you feel the way you do about your boyfriend? I can honestly say from experience, that little boy will be the light of your life, and the reason you get out of bed and smile everyday. It's hard to picture it now, I had a hard time with my son, but he was my first, and I was naive about the unconditional love a mother has for their baby, no matter the gender :hugs:
> 
> No , I dont think its hormones but I wish it was :( . Im startin to feel Alittle better about the gender issue, I hope I continue to progressClick to expand...

So sorry:( just know that just because of a baby is coming, does not mean you sacrifiic your happiness staying with him. It slowly gets better. But after birth you will be so happy he was a boy, I promise :)


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## JayMari

jenniferttc1 said:


> JayMari said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> jenniferttc1 said:
> 
> 
> Is it just your hormones making you feel the way you do about your boyfriend? I can honestly say from experience, that little boy will be the light of your life, and the reason you get out of bed and smile everyday. It's hard to picture it now, I had a hard time with my son, but he was my first, and I was naive about the unconditional love a mother has for their baby, no matter the gender :hugs:
> 
> No , I dont think its hormones but I wish it was :( . Im startin to feel Alittle better about the gender issue, I hope I continue to progressClick to expand...
> 
> So sorry:( just know that just because of a baby is coming, does not mean you sacrifiic your happiness staying with him. It slowly gets better. But after birth you will be so happy he was a boy, I promise :)Click to expand...

Now I've found out that OH has been talking to other females. He Says it was just "talk" and nothing he said was going to happen. Now I definitely want to leave. This is not how I envisioned life to be at this point. This makes me just want to take my son and raise him to never be like his father, so in a way it's helped me become closer to my son. I know my son will never hurt me, he'll never stop loving me and I'll never stop loving him


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## Misscalais

Aww I'm sorry :( maybe have a break from OH and see how you go. You're a woman, you were built strong. Just do what's best for you and baby. :hugs: and you're right your little guy will love you till the end of the earth.


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