# My 5yo wants to know how baby comes out of my tummy?? what do i say?



## kelzyboo

:wacko: My 5 year old daughter asked me earlier today 'how does the baby get out of your tummy?', she asked if i open my mouth really wide and he gets out there :haha:

She has ASD and is very intellegent, i told her that we'd talk about it when shes older but she won't tolerate no answer and will ask repeatedly til she gets one!

While i know she is intellegent enough to hear the truth (her IQ's higher than mine :blush:) but i don't think she can comprehend it yet and i worry that she will become scared that a baby will come out of hers, she won't understand the concept and i don't want to kick off another obsession!

Could have posted in special needs but i'm after general advice, she does not need to know the truth yet but i have to say something....any ideas how i can put things nicely whilst being very vague lol 
Thanks :flower:


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## Kathleen

Thats tough! Was trying to find a sex education video online that would cover it but didn't find any. Would being honest but not too graphic work? When my stepdaughter asked questions we panicked a bit and used complicated words that were too old for her to understand.

What about a basic picture of female anatomy? Then say it's only when you're an adult and have a special 'moment' with someone you love that a baby grows inside you.


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## OnErth&InHvn

I dont know. DD1 (4yrs old) asked about Wylder today (the baby we lost) and i was honest. I said sometimes Mommies have babies in their bellies, but they come out too soon. She asked what happens and I said sometimes they get sick or die and she then asked where they go and I told her they grow wings and go to heaven. The sweetest part? She asked if they turn into butterflies and float up to heaven. :cry:

I know not related, but its sort of funny how you can have this freak out moment when they ask but usually they turn it into something they can relate to. KWIM?


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## kelzyboo

Awww what a beautiful way of looking at it, your daughter is very wise x

I'm going to be honest with her, just with as little technical info as possible as i don't want to confuse her, i do agree that most things that are too complicated they do turn into something they can relate to, like the butterfly which is the sweetest thing i've ever heard btw xx

Thanks for the replies x


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## evewidow

my 5 year old asked me too , i couldnt lie to him as he is a clever little so and so . for a few weeks i got away with mommy pushes her out of her tummy . but then after that he asked where she came out of . I just said she comes out of mommys bits and thats why mommy doesnt have a willy ( 2 bases covered there lol ) he just looked at me and said oh right and has never mentioned since. 
thankfully he hasnt asked how she got in there in the 1st place !


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## kelzyboo

Lol Eve he will hit you with that one when you least expect it!! x


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## evewidow

yes you are prob right !


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## marley2580

There's a really good book called 'where do I come from' that could help. Infact the library has loads of books like that.


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## Lyndz

My mum told me the truth, that babies come out of your tuppence but only get there when a mummy and daddy love each other very much. I don't remember asking again :lol:


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## kelzyboo

Thanks, will have a look for that book on amazon now lol xx


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## MrsRabbit

DS has SPD so I understand the obsession etc. I told him when it's time to have the baby he'd sleep over at a friend's and we'd go to the hospital and the doctor would help get the baby out. Then I switched gears to focus on HIS job as BIG BROTHER which is a very serious and important job. He had to wear his big brother tee shirt and I gave a friend cash to take him shopping for a birthday gift for sissy and he had to sing her happy birthday. He also got to eat her cake as she was too little.

We also got him a baby to practice being a big brother on - bottles, diaper changes, wrapping baby in blanket, baby wearing.

Kept him so busy we skimmed over the baby out of vagina thing.


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## kelzyboo

Lol MrsRabbit, thats a good idea to focus on her job rather than mine! Think i may try to get round it that way before i move on to the truth but not the whole truth thing, i like the idea of the big sis t-shirt and birthday cake, have been looking for big sis things but never occured to me about the birthday cake! She'd really like that, thanks xx


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## rockys-mumma

My mum told me that babies came out of your belly button :rofl:


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## kelzyboo

Lol i will admit i'd considered telling her that one!!!


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## x_Nov30_x

Im quite lucky with this, as i had a c-section the girls have seen the scar and know that a doctor had to cut my tummy to take them out, but i came downstairs one morning and my eldest had baby time on and saw a woman giving birth so they know both ways now, with the whole how did the baby get in there, my OH told them we went to a special shop got baby parts and they were put through my belly button lol


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## MrsRabbit

I think it's different when you worry about a child harping about something for months. I used a hammer to put up some curtains when we moved in and he bothered me about it daily for over a year. 
I still have to use distraction to skirt around issues I think DS will obsess or worry over. He actually gets anxious about it to the point of panic attack at times. Not worth it. Sometimes we have to give our children only the information they can handle.


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## kelzyboo

I agree mrsrabbit, i have to avoid lots of things i know she can't handle! I've spoken to her about me going into hospital to have the baby and explained that a doctor will help baby come out, she hasn't asked me to elaborate yet but i'm sure she will lol not convinced she can handle the truth as to where they really come from but i'm looking at a possible c-section now and fortunately the scar will be easier to explain it and i don't have to go into the full detail, one day yes but when shes ready to hear it xx


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## xcarlydx

My 4 yr old son asked me today how the baby will come out my belly and I said that i'll go to sleep and the baby will be there the next morning haha oh dear! Maybe I should have been more truthful? I really feel that my son is still too young and immature to hear it, his little brain couldn't handle it! He looked pale and worried when I told him I had my bloods taken lol


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## 3rdtimelucky

I too told my daughters' the truth. They are both very inquisitive and wouldnt be happy if I lied to them. When they were very young they thought we went into the hospital and there was loads of babies and we picked them! :haha: but as they got older they wanted to know! Last year I let them watch one of those birth programmes on telly with me, and explained that some babies come out of the mam's "front bum" and sometimes women have to have a little operation to help the baby out!
They were both satisfied with that and weren't freaked out at all.
Last week my eldest asked how they get in there in the first place, I have yet to answer her question, Im trying to figure out the best way to explain that to her.. God help me! :haha: Oh they are 6 and 9.

P.s.... I was told as a child that I was found under a head of cabbage!! How about that for confusing a child! lol


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## quin

Have you thought of scouring youtube to find a video that could be the most appropriate? It doesnt have to be real graphic or anything, but if you find one that is sweet and calming and then try to focus on other parts of it. E.G. How happy mum/dad look. There are many videos on there, some compiled with just photos, and some are not graphic with a full view of where the baby has 'come out of'. Maybe she just needs some assurance about what she can expect you will go through. Many people actually have their children in the labour room with them (not suggesting you do this) and these children seem to cope fine with seeing the lot!


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## Blah11

I'd tell the truth too. You dont need to go into detail, just say the baby comes out of your girly parts :shrug:


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## four

My daughter and I spoke about this when I was pregnant for my son. She was 3 almost 4 at the time. I just kept it simple. She has asked again this time, now 7. I have always been honest. This time I got the well how do they get there quesiton. Just told her that when you love someone like me and Daddy do, God will pick the time. That was good enough for her..... for now. :)


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## Feltzy

I had a mega embarassing moment on this subject last week. I was watching obem one day as I'd recorded it and Evie walked into the room at the moment when the head was crowning. She started asking questions and I was a bit flustered but couldn't really get out of it when she said 'whats coming out of her bits', so I was truthful and said thats where babies come out.

Then roll on Saturday night OH's mum and dad come round for a chat and a glass of wine and she was asking her grandma if daddy was in her belly, grandma said 'yes' to which Evie replied 'did he come out of your bits'.

Honestly I didn't know where to put my face :blush:


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## spanna

Great advice thanks


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## 3rdtimelucky

Feltzy said:


> I had a mega embarassing moment on this subject last week. I was watching obem one day as I'd recorded it and Evie walked into the room at the moment when the head was crowning. She started asking questions and I was a bit flustered but couldn't really get out of it when she said 'whats coming out of her bits', so I was truthful and said thats where babies come out.
> 
> Then roll on Saturday night OH's mum and dad come round for a chat and a glass of wine and she was asking her grandma if daddy was in her belly, grandma said 'yes' to which Evie replied 'did he come out of your bits'.
> 
> Honestly I didn't know where to put my face :blush:

:haha::haha:
Thats very funny. My own daughter did something similar on me a while back. She was talking to my Nana(86)about were babies come from, and my nana was trying to sell her some lie about where they come from, and Ellie pipes up, its ok Granny, you dont have to explain I already know that babies come out of your bum!!!! My nana nearly died of shock and threw me a killer look and said somethng along the lines of "Jesus Christ is nothing sacred anymore!!!" 

Kids are pricelss, so honest


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## julietz

My son thinks his sister came out my bum lol he just came out with it one day and i didnt know what to say, he asked if girls have willies, i said no and heasked what they have, omg i had to change the subject, then when i was changing his baby sister after she was born, he said "oh girls have 2 bums :rofl: ha ha ha


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## Fifi61467

Ds was 5 when lo was born and asking so I was honest but vague. I said out of mummy's bits , he asked if it hurt and I said sometimes a bit bit that's why mummy will go to hospital so the drs can help it not hurt. He was happy and said he'd look after my Handbag so the drs didn't have to worry about it while I was busy!!


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## sleepinbeauty

Simple truth worked best for me with tough questions from my god-daughters. "Waht is that? why are they so big?" (about my boobs) "Where is mommy?" "When is daddy coming home?"

Truth is best. Stories proven wrong later in life will only teach them that you can't be trusted for real info.


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## chichestermum

hehe sorry for dragging up an old post and all you women getting emails about it again haha but i had to giggle at it all, there used to be so many different ways we were told babies are born! can you imagine the arguments at school we had! my mummy said she picked me from the cabbage patch, well thats not right, my mummy said the stork brought babies, well my mummy told me that they deliver the babys to your door in the night, well my daddy told me that daddies put their winkies in mummy to plant the seed ... trust daddies to not have the imagination lol!!

How did it go with telling your daughter? 
my DD isnt too fussed about it as she is just about to turn 3, she knows baby is in my tummy but hasnt asked how to get it out lol! shes quite clever and i think il just tell her that it comes out of mummys front bum, but only mummys can have babys. so that way she wont be scared of it happening to her lol! i have a fabulously horrid book, its a god approach to the birds and the bees, its a lil too graphic for the age its aimed at for me, goes into far too much detail all about sperm, eggs and having a good time in bed with shivers of happiness because god wants them to have fun making babies :wacko: even i couldn't read it without giggling and blushing! its aimed at 5 yr olds!!

i had to get it, it will be an amazingly funny gift for DDs 21st or her wedding day assuming she hasnt had kids before then!

If you didnt want to tell her how they are born you could just say that you dont know, the baby is in your tum and then the doctor gets the baby out but you have to close your eyes and count to 10 like in hide and seek lol! but make sure you state that only mummies can have babies so that they dont get worried.

...or you could think of a new way each week so it becomes more of a game than them actually wanting to find out and you never know they might stick and believe 1 or just give up for a while xx


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