# Did you know?



## Wobbles

Girls hope you dont mind me asking this? Please say if it looks insensative although I hope it doesn't! x

Did you girls know of your babies problems before birth & how?

I've read a few posts and I have to say you girls are stronger than any other Mummy :hugs:your babies are so lucky to have you.

x


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## Jayden'sMummy

I have to agree with Wobbles - You girls are amazing and your babies are so lucky to have you girls as mummys :) x


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## Deb&Matilda

I found out at 23 weeks so I suppose I had time to get used to it by the time Matilda was born even tho it was a big shock still when you are actually faced with it.

I dpont believe I am any better that any other mummy cause I believe as a mum you just get on with it x Im not saying I dont have days when I dont break down and think why me ? or that I dont look at some people who dont care about their children and think why are their children "normal" (I hate that word) ? but most of the time I kust get on with it Matilda is Matilda and I love her soooo much xxx If I had any more I think I would feel like I was getting ingorned not having sooo many appointments to go to xxx

Hope that answers your question ?
PS I dont fine it insenstive I dont mind people asking but I do mind when people stop and stare at her and 1 man even told me I didnt deserve a bay if I couldnt look after one cause he tho she had broke her legs due top pots xxx Trust me I lost the plot xxx


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## Wobbles

Thanks Deb x

I was starting to panic it sounded insensitive to ask :blush:

My day to day routine seems hectic alone which is why when I see some of your babies routines the love we see makes us melt (I know I'm not alone with that thinking) but you tend to babies needs nomatter what like you say as Mum...

How did you find out about Matildas needs - scan?

And :shock: at that man! How awful :hugs: 

I hope this does not sound wrong but one thing that I believe makes you stronger above me even is where you see so many say they don't know what they would do - if they could handle it and so on so I hope that explains why I used those words but all meant in the nicest none patronising way.

x


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## Nikkinoonoo

I didn't know about Jessies deformity before birth. It was a total shock but in a way we was glad we didn't know before hand. I think if they had told me my baby had an underdeveloped leg I would have spent so long worrying and not knowing what it was for sure I would have probabally imagined worse. I think that in my case not knowing saved some worry and stress through my pregnancy.
I found out the name of Jessicas deformity it's Fibular Hemimelia.
xXx


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## Becky

not me personally but my little brother has cerebral palsy and he wasnt diagnosed till he was 2!

x


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## massacubano

I had no idea my son had autism. I was clued in as early as about 8 months old however. He started rocking, and has not stopped on it! He also was very delayed in walking. I say he did not walk until 17-18 months. He would scoot on his bottom all over. His verbal skills also were very slow to start, now he is a little talking bird! Quite the popular boy in school too! :)


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## 1st_baby

I didnt know about max's hypospidias as its not something that can be seen on a scan , but It runs in my famiyl so I kinda had a clue he may have , although its not as serious as the other girls on here (you girls are so strong I admire you) but I still worry how it will effect him later in life.


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## Tegans Mama

I knew about Tegan - found out at 17 weeks. And same as Debs, in actual fact at the start I felt like a bad person. I was convinced that it was all my fault that my baby was ill etc etc, until she was born. And then I didn't care, because she's beautiful and means the world to me. Some days I feel like a crap Mum. I will wake up at 8am and I can't be bothered to do the first lot of physio. So I feel bad, and I feel guilty for the rest of the day. Or I'll be measuring out her meds, and I'll get the dosages mixed up. Its frustrating. It's not easy. But we do it, just as (I believe) _almost_ anyone would do for their child. 

When I first found out (long story short - had accident on stairs, went to hosp who booked scan, had scan, found anomoly, went to specialist hospital who told me my baby would live a life not worth living and I should terminate - and I told him No, I would not kill my baby.... If I ever have another with the same condition my baby won't be delivered there, but will go to the same hospital after birth) I was in shreds. My partner and I conceived Tegan through Artificial insemination - there might be no more babies for us, and whilst this sounds so wrong, I wanted a baby more than anything. When I saw that scan, I wanted THIS baby. 

I do believe that there are some people who wouldn't be capable - it is hard, emotionally, physically, mentally draining and believe me, all of us have days where we think 'oh screw this' and I call my Mum, she takes Tegan overnight and me and OH attempt to get drunk - but it actually results in us calling Mum every two hours until we know she's in bed to make sure the baby is alright.

Wow long winded. Blah you get the picture lol


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## JASMAK

I didn't know anything before hand. I started suspect before her 18 months shots, and actually took my concerns to the health nurse during her 18 months shots. Makena had no words (not even ma or da), she didn't point, and she never showed us anything. She wasn't diagnosed officially until she was almost 3, but, we were told unoffically pretty much since she was 2. It was hard to take at first, but, I am fine with it now. I am very open about it, as I like to educate people that "autism" is not "Rainman". It is not "geniuses". It shows itself in many different ways. 

I don't think that I am any more of a mom than anyone else. One thing that I think that I am very good at tho, is not judging other's. I don't know what people have been through, are going through etc...and I am not going to look at another mom and judge her. I am not going to look at a five year old and say "why is that kid in daipers?" I am not going to look at a kid throwing a temper tantrum and scowl and wonder why the parents don't take their brat to the car. I am going to offer support, and a caring ear to these moms.


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## needyourhelp

No it was a normal, healthy pregnancy. And we never had anything to do with babies before, so we thought he was normal. We're a little angry that the doctors never picked up on DS' problems. We were always justifying things, but they should have known better. Wasn't until daycare started complaining to us that we started questioning it, and it still took until he was 2 to get the dr to admit that there might be something going on. He has development delays and is still undiagnosed.

We didn't realise any of this before getting pregnant with our second child, but even so there is no tests or no way of knowing/predicting. She is showing delays too, but at least I am able to get her help sooner.


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## Deb&Matilda

Wobbles yes found out on scan went for 20 week scan got told everything was fine and I was having a girl went home over the moon thinking they just hadnt got some of the measurements so went back on my own at 23weeks and got told there and then to terminate cause would be a vegetable with no life xx well isnt matilda proving them wrong xxx


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## Tegans Mama

Deb&Matilda said:


> got told there and then to terminate cause would be a vegetable with no life xx well isnt matilda proving them wrong xxx

We got told the exact same thing hun, and our babies are proving them wrong every day :happydance:


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## Wobbles

Who? As blunt as that? :shock:


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## dizzy65

Wobbles said:


> Girls hope you dont mind me asking this? Please say if it looks insensative although I hope it doesn't! x
> 
> Did you girls know of your babies problems before birth & how?
> 
> I've read a few posts and I have to say you girls are stronger than any other Mummy :hugs:your babies are so lucky to have you.
> 
> x

i agree with what she is sayin. u girls are very strong :cloud9:


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## Tegans Mama

Wobbles said:


> Who? As blunt as that? :shock:

Yes, as blunt as that! The consultant at the specialist hospital was a complete ass and basically told me my baby would not survive birth. It was horrible :cry::cry: I basically had to shout that I was not be terminating. It was the most horrendous time in my life. And then I got to 36 weeks, my baby's hydrocephalus (fluid on brain, can cause brain damage or death) got worse and he told me he would be leaving my until 42 weeks if I didn't go into labour by myself because nothing could save her.. :cry::cry: Freakin idiot, still makes me upset to think about that :(


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## leeanne

All of you moms are amazing! :hugs:


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## Emmea12uk

Tom was the same as Debs and HR.LR - he was diagnosed at 20 week scan. When they told me i just asked them whether it was a boy or girl. pretended everything was normal. Then when i left the room i broke down. I nurse came over and told me what it meant and also asked is i would like an abortion. I told her to never mention it again. He was my baby and although i didnt know what was round the corner, no mother really does do they? He was my baby and no one was going to take him away. If he had a chance, any chance, then i would not take that away and if that meant going through serious trauma for nothing, then it was worth it.


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## Deb&Matilda

Oh yes it was very blunt my suppose to be specailist midwife told me all about how you abort a baby at 23 weeks which still prays on my mind now xx when I went for a meeting with her neurosurgeon he was lovely and just told me once I had made up my mind he would help me either way and it just clicked I said if she doesnt survive the birth then it is meant to be but I cant kill her and he just said right then lets get everything sorted and took over all my care xx and now he is lovely and soo inpressed with matilda xx My midwife said it was 90% she would be a vegetable, the neurosurgeon said its more like 5% yoou would know anything was wrong, 5% serious and 80% somewhere in between well im sorry that is alot different than 90% vegetable xxx


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## Emmea12uk

you know, my neurosurgeon was just the same! He put my mind at ease the moment i met him. I wasnt trying to cover his back by giving me every possible angle, he was realistic - but he also went through the solutions to every problem i was likely to encounter.


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## honey08

ive so much respect for u mummys :hugs: its hard enough wrk as it is, u desevre massive mega choc gold mendals :)


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## Emmea12uk

honey08 said:


> ive so much respect for u mummys :hugs: its hard enough wrk as it is, u desevre massive mega choc gold mendals :)

hmmmmmm lol:)


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