# What do you find hard about being a single parent?



## Mummy2aStar

.


----------



## Jade--x

I agree with all the small things. Like the small things to other people are a huge task for us. I also find the lack of sleep hard - I'm getting up all night and then up for the day at 4am this morning with them - I've had an hours sleep - and now I'm up cleaning (well I'm taking a break after going dizzy) and looking after the boys - I don't have anyone to have them for me to catch up on sleep so that to me is probably the hardest. But if I did have someone here I'd probably moan about how they make me have to do twice the work because they do everything wrong :dohh: so I think I prefer single parenting and I'd take exhaustion over frustration anyday :haha: x


----------



## Mummy2aStar

.


----------



## MumToBe2012

Not being able to experience raising her with someone else x


----------



## Kate&Lucas

Being ill. Last time I was ill Lucas had diarrhea at the same time, it was hellish.
Socialising. Just little things, like everyone is going the pictures this weekend and I automatically said I'd come too before my sister pointed out that I can't because Lucas can't come.
Dating. I hate it in general but as a parent it's so much worse. Coupled with the fact that I don't _want _Lucas to have to live with a man who isn't his Dad, I rarely bother.
It sticks in my throat that FOB doesn't have either of these issues. If he's ill, he doesn't pick Lucas up, he moved on to someone else before I even left, and he schedules visits around his plans so he gets the best of both worlds. 
I love being a single parent, I do, but I feckin hate it too :lol:

EDIT: I forgot to add! Being judged on my parenting abilities by people who have NO idea what it's like to be a single parent, and are too damn arrogant to consider it is actually a lot harder than parenting as a couple. It's made especially hard by the fact that I have no-one to back me up :dohh:


----------



## Nic1107

Always having to ask someone for help if I need it (like needing a baby-sitter, or someone to entertain C if I have something important to do, etc.) and knowing there's is possibly that no one might say yes and I'll have to skip a night out or whatever. Having a partner around was great in that there was someone else to rock C to sleep or watch her while I was at work. Financially it's also incredibly hard, and finding a job is a nightmare since I need to work out childcare and can only work day times now.


----------



## teal

For me I think the hardest thing is knowing that one day my son will know that his father didn't want him.


----------



## jaytee146

I think I wavier between seeing a real "parenting team" and I wish my lo had that, I also wavier between the smallest task like fixing myself a sandwhich and trying to eat alone without getting messy.


----------



## KayBea

for me at the moment its financially...

while ex OH is on the tenancy i cant claim anything & hes claiming everything he can & not paying a single penny!!!


----------



## mememe84

The thing I find the hardest are the lonely nights when she's in bed that's when it really gets me down x


----------



## Mummy2aStar

teal said:


> For me I think the hardest thing is knowing that one day my son will know that his father didn't want him.


Hugs hun thats hard, for both of you x


----------



## linley

Finding time to myself. My ex takes LO away 2 days a week but I use that time to catch up on washing/cleaning/dog walking and I very rarely have time to just sit and read my book or listen to music and just chill out. 
Another thing, asking for help. I'm too independant and stubborn for my own good, I'll struggle ahead on my own rather than ask his dad or my family for help, be it financial or just someone to hold LO while I run his bath. 
It hurts me that LO won't have his "proper" family. When we broke up, we agreed that nothing would change in the way we raised him, we would both be present near-enough everyday and we'd do things as a family, but we've just distanced ourselves to the point where we can't go back and he only sees his dad 2 days a week.


----------



## miasmum2012

Me and FOB had a very bad split so its the constant fear that he will go to a solicitor and get access (i don't want him to because he is a very bad role model with a criminal record and hes very rough with her too) I'm just waiting for the day I get a solicitors letter through the post because I know its gonna end up going to court :(

Also the never having time for myself, my daughter is getting really clingy to me now as FOB was here for the first four months of her life and now he has just vanished :/ 

The nights are lonely too :(


----------



## Mummy2aStar

.


----------



## Mummy2aStar

[.


----------



## KayBea

.


----------



## KayBea

Mummy2aStar said:


> KayBea said:
> 
> 
> for me at the moment its financially...
> 
> while ex OH is on the tenancy i cant claim anything & hes claiming everything he can & not paying a single penny!!!
> 
> 
> 
> Im feeling this... doing this with out any financial help! XClick to expand...


im struggling badly :(
my poor parents must have lent me almost £1000!! theres no way i can pay them back in the circumstances im in, i feel
so guilty & awful about borrowing money too :,( xx


----------



## Natsku

For me its cooperating with FOB over custody arrangements. He's really bad at sticking to agreements and pretty much every week we argue over it. And the fact that I keep missing things that she does when she's at her dad's, like weeing in the potty for the time time, and saying new words.


----------



## Laura2919

Trying to sort my personal life around my girls.. It is so hard so he comes round once my girls are in bed and asleep and then my mum will have them overnight if he stays.


----------



## jenfirstbaby

I've only recently split with oh (like days ago!) so far im fine but reading these comments has worried me a little :( 

It was me who left the relationship, and he says he wants to see LO as often as possible.... But I wonder how long that will last. 

Also im starting to worry how il feel when he starts a new relationship :( I know I shouldn't coz I ended it, but im scared il regret it once he meets someone :( x


----------



## Dezireey

Eating properly, cooking and baking. I used to be a little chef and prepare all my ingredients and spend ages baking cakes and cooking. I have tried putting LO in his bouncy seat in the kitchen but before long he gets irritable and I have to cuddle him and feed him. So....ready meals in the microwave, quick sandwiches and quickly and sleepily sometimes cooking a meal at night(when he is fast asleep) ready for the next day, is all I can do for now.Yeah,all the little things really.


----------



## Laura2919

jenfirstbaby said:


> I've only recently split with oh (like days ago!) so far im fine but reading these comments has worried me a little :(
> 
> It was me who left the relationship, and he says he wants to see LO as often as possible.... But I wonder how long that will last.
> 
> Also im starting to worry how il feel when he starts a new relationship :( I know I shouldn't coz I ended it, but im scared il regret it once he meets someone :( x


I as given the option to leave and I took it so you could say I left him. Best decision I made, 11 months later and I am happier than I've been in years. It's little things that tell me we're over for good and tbh they don't scare me anymore. At first nights were lonely but I filled them by reading, ironing, cooking, cleaning and on the times I didn't have my girls I'd be out and about. Now life is so so different and I wouldn't change a bit of it. Everything is moving in the direction it should be and I am happy with it. 

You'll be fine hun xx


----------



## jenfirstbaby

Laura2919 said:


> jenfirstbaby said:
> 
> 
> I've only recently split with oh (like days ago!) so far im fine but reading these comments has worried me a little :(
> 
> It was me who left the relationship, and he says he wants to see LO as often as possible.... But I wonder how long that will last.
> 
> Also im starting to worry how il feel when he starts a new relationship :( I know I shouldn't coz I ended it, but im scared il regret it once he meets someone :( x
> 
> 
> I as given the option to leave and I took it so you could say I left him. Best decision I made, 11 months later and I am happier than I've been in years. It's little things that tell me we're over for good and tbh they don't scare me anymore. At first nights were lonely but I filled them by reading, ironing, cooking, cleaning and on the times I didn't have my girls I'd be out and about. Now life is so so different and I wouldn't change a bit of it. Everything is moving in the direction it should be and I am happy with it.
> 
> You'll be fine hun xxClick to expand...

thank you! Right now im staying with my mum til I find somewhere for me and Jessica, so I don't feel lonely yet. Infact it hasn't actually sunk in yet. I think that's because I spent a lot of time at my parents anyway to get away. 

I'm sure once we R on our own it will be lonley!

IVe seen him a few times over the last few days and he's sort of asked if i can just call it a 'break' and see how I feel in a few weeks instead of a definate split :\ xx


----------



## Cazamatazaaa

Hardest part is knowing that my kids dont get to see their dad on a daily basis or living with us as part of a family :( 

the little things get to me also, but it becomes normal, and after so long its not longer hard, but just routine :)


----------



## Rhio92

I hate it when Connor's ill/teething/having a tantrum/whatever or I'm ill/tired/overloaded with coursework, and I'm like 'where's FOB? Oh yeah, with his latest shag'. Yet he thinks he's a dad because he does fuck all, and sees him once a week, supervised.


----------



## Radiance

I have always been with FOB but with our first, our daughter we did not live together and he was never there to help so even though we were together I was basically a single mom.
The hardest thing for me was sleep! A new born, breastfeeding and college, looking back on it now, it was hard, back then I didn't think it was!

I remember getting out of the shower and just falling asleep on the floor!


----------

