# Should I be allowing this?



## Eddie

My child is five and very interested in babies and where they come from, although she doesn't know how they get there yet!

She has been watching 'One Born Every Minute' with our consent and is really fascinated by the process. She is not worried by it in the slightest.

Our child's teacher stopped us the other day and said could we have a word with our little girl as she had told another child where babies come from and a mother had complained. We were obviously mortified and embarrassed.

I had a word with my child and she now knows that she must not talk about these things with the other children, but I am now beginning to question whether I should be letting her watch it at all.

As I said, we haven't talked to her about how babies get in there and only give her the information she asks at any point. The question is do you think that a 5 year old is too young to be exposed to childbirth?

We are pretty easy going parents and whilst we respect that other people should let children know about these things in their own time (and will enforce that our daughter does not jump in there first!) we always feel that facts won't harm her. The problem is that I am now beginning to doubt my own philosophy.

Do I carry on letting her watch it or not?

Thanks


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## LaaLaa

That's your call as a parent. Frankly, I'm surprised the other parent complained; you can't govern what children say to each other! 

Actually haven't watched the programme so I don't know how graphic it is but it sounds like she's just showing normal, healthy curiosity!


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## Reedy

IMO I think 5 is too young to be watching OBEM it scares the hell out of me sometimes x 
I'm all for giving kids straight answers to their questions (within reason) but I think letting such a young girl watch child birth is a bit too much x


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## Pixxie

I think its fine, shes your child and if you think she can handle that information then let her watch. OBEM isnt particularly graphic, I think Ive only ever seen one actual crowing shot on it xx


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## MrsBop

Reedy said:


> IMO I think 5 is too young to be watching OBEM it scares the hell out of me sometimes x
> I'm all for giving kids straight answers to their questions (within reason) but I think letting such a young girl watch child birth is a bit too much x

I agree with this but then again she is your child so ultimately it is your choice. My almost 6 year has only just learnt that babies come from 'down there' as he says, I asked him how he found out and he'd seen it on Friends :blush: he doesn't know they come out of the foo just down there :haha: tbh I think if one of his friends had told him and explained what they'd seen then I probably would've mentioned it to the teacher because I (my opinion) think 5 is too young for the ins and outs.


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## lesleyann

my childs not ol denough yet however at 5 i would have no problem with him watching OBEM if he could handle it iykwim? They all learn one day and atlest OBEM is more true that some of the rubbish that gets spouted out at school lol

Im suprised the othe rparent complained you cannot stop children saying things and why shoul dyou have to change how your parenting just because your child enjoys learning and sharing


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## Ameliah

personally, I agree with her watching it. For me, i'd prefer my children to grow up understanding childbirth and that it is a natural process. Its not like you've been giving her sex education or explaining how the babies get there in the first place (which I would say she is too young to know yet) My 3yr old watches it with us sometimes as we have a baby on the way and she thought i'd eaten her sister :dohh: and I appreciate that she doesn't fully understand what is happening, she does understand that babies are born and that mummy will need to go to hospital to have this baby. Its not that graphic and theres not exactly blood and gore on display


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## Kimboowee

I would carry on letting her watch it too - As you said it's just couriosity and it's obviously not scaring her!

IMO I know kids age 5 that watch violent tv and play violent ps3 games etc - thats worse in my eyes than OBEM


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## beckynbump25

hiya, i know everyones got there opions but i think it's a very good way of showing your daughter where babies come from if she's not worried or disturbed by what she see's then i say carry on my little brother went a couple of years thinking babies come from yourr belly button.
i let my two year old watch the not soo dramatic episodes so she sorta understands what mommys going into hospital for and i tell you somethink she loves it and all the little babys lol :D xx


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## Ameliah

beckynbump25 said:


> i let my two year old watch the not soo dramatic episodes so she sorta understands what mommys going into hospital for and i tell you somethink she loves it and all the little babys lol :D xx

Exactly, for me I see it as something educational and beneficial. They don't show the gory bits like all the blood or placenta delivery and even with the c-sections you don't see too much


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## lulu35

ive let my kids watch this series, they are 6,8, and 10 and i did this as im having another baby and i wanted them to understand what it was all about, they dont know how the baby got "there" and havent asked but as another poster said its not exceptionally graphic, they also havent been freked out by it or anything so im happy enough to let them watch it.


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## Eternal

i have heard of parents letting children of that age (and younger/older) be present during their births. so i suppose its the same thing. i dont think there is any reason why youd child shouldnt know about child birth.


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## xSamanthax

I don't see why your LO can't watch it, Ellie is 6 and she watches it with me sometimes, she doesn't know how babies get there but she likes watching it and seeing the babies being born


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## tallybee

I find it disturbing that a parent would complain about it tbh. The amount of complete nonsense that circulates in playgrounds... good on you for feeding your child's curiosity about the way things are x


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## midori1999

If she wants to watch it nd isn't scared by it, then I think it's actually a good idea. I think the other parents was an idiot to complain and I would have actually had issues with the teacher asking me to sensor what my child said as the child is simply telling the truth. 

I have always preferred to be honest with my children, although sometimes it is hard to explain honestly in a realistic way. I remember my oldest son asking me how the baby got out of my tummy when I was pregnant with my second son. (first son was 4) I ended up saying 'well, you have a willy, right? and Mummy hasn't got one, she has something different? (nodding) well, that's where the baby comes out'. Obviously not all that explainatory, but enough for a 4 year old. It would have been much simpler to show him a programme on TV! 

On the other hand, my friend doesn't want her daughter to know about vaginal births and has had c-sections herself. She has simply told her (now 8 year old) daughter that they cut the babies out of your tummy. Needles to say, that has terrified her daughter. :nope: I know it's technically true, but I think there are better ways of explaining that to a child.


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## kiwimama

Personally I have no problem with a child watching a baby being born. I would probably prefer that my kids watch natural, normal births with women that are calm and fear free, mostly because I want my kids (especially my daughter) to know that birth doesn't have to be horrible screamfest with the worst pain you could ever be in etc. My daughter may be at her brothers birth (playing it by ear atm.) I have read accounts of children who have been at calm births, mostly always homebirths, and they find it fascinating.


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## Jody R

I can remember being about five or six and my mum taking me to watch my friends dog give birth to puppies.

I think the idea of that was to answer my questions about why the puppies were in there in the first place and I think the answer I got is that all babies grow inside their mummy until it's time to come out. 

So as long as your daughter isn't scared or upset by the programme I don't see why she shouldn't watch it as a way to learn the same thing.

But I do think that if the other parents don't have the same parenting style as you it's up to them to chose when and how they explain things to their daughter. We shouldn't assume they are just being prudish or whatever. 

Perhaps their daughter was scared or upset by the information or maybe they are scared it will lead her to ask about how babies get there and they think it will take away her inocence or something to hear about sex at such a young age. 

I'm not worried about explaining sex or babies to Joseph but I am very worried about explaining my losses to him. I haven't got a clue where to start, it's not something we understand or accept and we are adults. I don't want to scare him or confuse him or make him feel third best. My biggest fear is that some horrible kid at school will bully him about having dead siblings or that he will feel we only had him because we couldn't have Ally or Elisabeth. I don't want him to be scared of his brother or sister or feeling unwanted or like a consolation prize. 

As my losses were second tri ones they were quite 'public' so to speak and I live in a community where everyone knows everyone elses business. So if some child at school decided to tell Joseph something in relation to them before I had or before he was ready or able to understand, I would be upset too. 

I don't think you have done the wrong thing by your daughter and I don't think she did anything unusual in talking about what she has seen.

I think it's sad that she has to learn to keep this secret because IMO that is what teaches children to by shy or embarrassed about perfectly normal and natural things.

But I can see the point of the other parents, you decided your daughter was ready and able to watch and learn but they had that decision taken out of their hands with their daughter, and that's probably why they complained. But don't let them make you doubt your parenting style and choices. :hugs:


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## JellyBeann

I don't see why the other parents were complaining either, kids need to know these things and if your child is interested in how birth happens, she should be told. I plan to be completely truthful with Ollie, when he asks, I will tell him (obviously not in gory detail, but the truth)


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## Mummy2B21

In my opinion i find that your daughter showing such an interest in this is actually really good, obviously everyone is different and will have different views but childbirth is a natural thing and babies are beautiful your daughter just seems to be intrigued/facinated as she is learning. I dont think its anything to be worried about and is completely your choice i find it very sweet she shows an interest in it children are smarter than we often think anyway if she is interested in learning i dont see why she shouldnt, although learning about how the babies get in there at that age would be a little too early in my opinion x


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## MrsRabbit

Seriously a parent complained? I could see if she was telling the kids about sex but most kids figure out babies don't come from eggs or storks or any other silly stories adults tell.

When DS was in school earlier this year they were talking about milk - creatures that make milk - DS piped up his momma makes milk for the baby.


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## mamalove

My daughter is not 4 yet,and she always asks to stay up late and watch this with me. I don't have a problem with it,i explained to her where babies come from (not in too much detail tho) and she loves it! We have pregnancy books next to us when the breaks are on :rofl: and as soon as it starts gain she puts the book down and always asks 'when is the baby coming?' I would never complain,i don't lie to my children,when they ask me questions i explain it to them. My daughter informed she's going to become a midwife when grows up,and trys to listen to my baby with a doppler lol


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## babe2ooo

if she seems ok with it then i wouldnt stop


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## Wind

What I try to keep in mind with my children (son is 13, daughter is 8) is that I would rather they learn about such matters at home than to receive incorrect information that could further confuse them at school.


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## onemoreplease

i think its fine, both my 5 year old daughter and 3 year old son have watched birthing videos, some quite graphic ones, they both found it very fasinating and werent at all scared or worried, i was pregnant with my lo at the time and they loved to know what i was going to do to get her out! they both also know how babies get in there, but in very simple terms! i think its great to be honest and open with young children when they have questions :)


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## Kathleen

mamalove said:


> My daughter is not 4 yet,and she always asks to stay up late and watch this with me. I don't have a problem with it,i explained to her where babies come from (not in too much detail tho) and she loves it! We have pregnancy books next to us when the breaks are on :rofl: and as soon as it starts gain she puts the book down and always asks 'when is the baby coming?' I would never complain,i don't lie to my children,when they ask me questions i explain it to them. My daughter informed she's going to become a midwife when grows up,and trys to listen to my baby with a doppler lol

Thats so lovely! Thats how I want to be with my LO :p

I agree with everyone else, if she doesnt get upset or disturbed then it can help her understanding. The amount of rubbish that gets said between kids. TBH I'm a bit annoyed for you, I don't know what your little girl said in the playground but its not fair to complain about you.


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## Pikkle

My little one watched one of the birthing programmes on Discovery Health. He was 5 and I was pregnant, and he was upstairs, and had come downstairs whilst I made tea, and had sat and watched it, without me realising I hadn't switched it off. 

Anyway, I'm pretty open with him anyway, and he has seen a lamb be born (He went on a school trip and watched it) so I had just explained how its the same with mummies too. 

After he had watched the programme, he came in, and said 'Oh, now I have seen a baby born, and I know what happens' He has never mentioned it again! 

He also watches me breastfeed, and knows all about it, and I for one, am really pleased that he knows this stuff. Its all natural, I don't see the problem! They don't need to know the gory details! I'd rather him know what boobs and bits are really for, than grow up thinking they are either forbidden to talk about, or thinking they are just some sexual organs that have no other use! I'd also rather him know how babies come out, than him believe a stork brings them?! 

He asked how a baby got in, and of course I'm not going into that, so I just told him when mummies and daddies love each other very much, they are able to have a baby grow inside of them, and he seemed happy with that.

Hope that helps!

Hope that helps!


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## LoraLoo

Nothing wrong ith it, its the most natural thing in the world :shrug:


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## mom22boys

I think each child is different. Some can handle it and some it would freak them out. I know moms that let their 3 year old be in the delivery room with them and some mom's would never even let the thought enter their mind. I guess to each his own. I have let my children watch a pet give birth and I think that it is a great way to open up the discussion on birth and such. 

Sounds like your child is mature enough to handle it. I let my boys watch it (if they want too) and my youngest claps every time a baby is born. I am ttc and we have told our children that we want to have another baby (nothing else) and my son who is 12 asked if he could be there when I have it. (I really don't have a problem with it but I am sure I will catch some comments from family and such)LOL


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## violin

I would not let my children watch an actual childbirth. If they ask about it - put in terms that are at their level. At ages 5 - 8, I don't think kids need to know details of how children are created and where they come from.


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## happygal

i think if you think your child is ready to watch it then theres no problem. my son whos 9 burries his head in a pillow if anyone so much as kisses on tv so hes not ready for obem :haha:


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## tinkerbellkir

I say its only gonna freak them out if you make a big deal about it, i.e. not letting them watch it. Don't see a problem in your LO watching it at all. A book came with my birthing pool called Runa's birth, its great and my little girls favourtie book at the moment, this has a picture which shows the baby being born and she hasnt once even questioned it, shes just 'accepted' it because it is what it is, its how they are born. I think the younger they learn about these things the easier it is.

Kirsty x


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## seoj

Personally, I've always been super honest and open with my step-daughter when it comes to sex or what not. I'd rather her learn the truth that hear lies at school from other children. Lucky, she is very open with me as well and asks questions when needed... but she's older, so she hears a lot at school. 

I remember learning about sex and child birth at a very young age and always had an open line of communication around it with my mom. The girls that didn't, well, they seemed to be the ones learning on the fly (i.e. having sex early) whilst I waited till I was a senior in high school and in a committed relationship. I'm not saying that the ONLY reason I waited... but I do know it helped me to understand and process my feeling about it all in a healthier way. I didn't feel the need to "act out". 

I will always promote honestly with children- obviously to a point, I'm not going to get into anything over the top with a 6yr old!!!! lol. But if it's age appropriate enough- and the child is OK with it and YOUR OK with it... then do what works for you.


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## claire99991

my 5 year old loves this show! she keeps saying mam did you scream like that when you had jayden (her brother) and then giggles but at the end when the babies are born she always says awwwwwwww there beautiful


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## kittycat18

My baby isn't born yet but I would not have a problem with my child being properly educated at home about such matters as sex and childbirth rather than teachers or other students embarrassing them by telling them in school! :thumbup:

The day my grand-mother was giving birth to her first son at 18 years old, the doctor had to tell her how the baby was going to come out as she thought the baby came through her belly button. They were never taught sexual education in schools as it was seen as disgraceful. On the other hand, with my younger brother, a little boy came into school one day in primary 5 (age 9) talking about his penis and almost every child's parents complained. Turned out the wee fellas mum didn't want him to be un-educated when it came to sex and wanted him to know the real words for things. I honestly don't see the problem with that :shrug:


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## tjw

I have very open and honest parents and by the time I was 5 yrs old I know not only the various ways babies are born but how they're made, too. Mind you, I was always quite mature for my age. 

You know your child best, if you feel she is mature enough to understand and accept (which it sounds like she is) then I can't see any problem with hon xx


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## morri

Pixxie said:


> I think its fine, shes your child and if you think she can handle that information then let her watch. OBEM isnt particularly graphic, I think Ive only ever seen one actual crowing shot on it xx

I don't think there is anything bad with that, and (I have watched a cow being born in the stable at 5) I also was educated about where children come from how they're made- Also because I liked to read about it too.


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## Foogirl

I would let her carry on watching it and I also wouldn't be concerned about her talking to other children about it. That other parents have an issue with it is their problem.


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## DragonMummy

I'm 7 months pregnant and my son watched some OBEM's with me. I think it's good for him to have an understanding. we've kept it all basic and haven't even mentioned sex, but he knows that mummies have eggs in their tummies, that sometimes these grow into babies then the baby comes out either of a hole in mummy's tummy, or out of mummy's lulu. He's fine with that and I wouldn't worry too much if I were you x


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## suzib76

personally i didnt let my kids watch it, i have no problem being open and giving explanations as required, but OBEM is far too grown up imo for infants. i mean Leah is 9 but i wouldnt want her thinking childbirth is all screaming and pain and what is shown on tv

its an adult programme, aimed at adults, and was screened AFTER the 9pm watershed for that very reason


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