# Please help me I need to talk to someone regarding ASD



## Tommee

Hi, 

I never thought that I'd be posting in this section, I feel so alone :-(

I have the most beautiful, wonderful DS who's just turned 2 he's my first child. I also have a 2 month old baby. I noticed that he's speech was very delayed he doesn't really say any clear words he waves bye and attempts to say it but it's not clear. Also he builds towers with he's building blocks and lines his blocks and straightens them if there out of line. He jumps up and down flapping his hands, walks on tip toes. Climbs all the time and is never still. He also makes lots of noises when were out and about like a mmmmmm sound. 

Now for the positive he is so loving and puts out his arms for a cuddle, he will pull my face to him for a kiss. He gives eye contact with everyone, he loves people and other children and will join in with them. He loves going for walks in his stroller and the car, he always sits still throughout the whole time. He knows where the local park is and gets excited when we approach it and sad when we leave. 

I know all this is ASD he had his 2 year assessment and the HV seemed concerned, something that I wasn't until her visit now I feel sick all the time and can't stop crying. I have no one apart from DH to talk to who is fantastic but I just don't know where we go from here? I feel such a failure is it something I've done? I'm scared what the future may hold for him, will he ever lead a normal life? Will he be bullied? Some children and adults can be so cruel I've seen it. Hopefully it's a long way off but what will happen when we die? I'm so afraid for him, I just can't stop crying I wish it was me and not him. I love him so much it's breaking my heart in two.

Sorry for the long post it may seem a bit mixed up it's just how I feel at the moment. 

Thanks for reading.


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## Ilovehim89

my 2 year old son may have an ASD as well. His official evaluation is on Tuesday but two speech therapists and the lady that did his intake eval was concerned and he is so far behind. I know the feeling of loving your little boy so much and that your heart is breaking for him. My heart is breaking for my little boy everyday because he can't communicate and when i can't figure out what he wants/needs, we both get frustrated. me because I can't figure out what he wants and I feel bad and him because he can't communicate too well. My son makes that "mmmm" sound too, kind of like a weird humming sound right? My son does it a lot when he is over stimulated or when he is in a stressful environment and doesn't know what to do. :hug:


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## Midnight_Fairy

Hi hun what did the HV actually say? she is not qualified to diagnose so dont worry just yet! Its a very complex condition. My son has diagnosed autism, hes 7 now and I would say yes we have school stress and stuff and life may not be normal but its our life.

Read this:


Welcome To Holland
by
Emily Perl Kingsley


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It&#8217;s just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." 

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.


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## Tommee

Ilovehim89 said:


> my 2 year old son may have an ASD as well. His official evaluation is on Tuesday but two speech therapists and the lady that did his intake eval was concerned and he is so far behind. I know the feeling of loving your little boy so much and that your heart is breaking for him. My heart is breaking for my little boy everyday because he can't communicate and when i can't figure out what he wants/needs, we both get frustrated. me because I can't figure out what he wants and I feel bad and him because he can't communicate too well. My son makes that "mmmm" sound too, kind of like a weird humming sound right? My son does it a lot when he is over stimulated or when he is in a stressful environment and doesn't know what to do. :hug:

Thanks for your reply. I'm totally fustrated aswell as I explain why he can't go out in the garden right now or why he shouldn't do this and he can't understand, he climbs so much on chairs and it's dangerous so I worry for his safety. It's like you can't reason with him, everything is funny to him, he just laughs if I get mad. How can you explain to him when he has no understanding? He's still not spoon feeding himself fully DH every night let's him have a turn until he gets fed up then starts flicking it around the room. I'm dreading potty training, will it ever happen?

Yes DS does that exact strange humming noise like whilst shopping which yes is a stressful environment for him, I guess I never thought of that, I've got so much to learn.


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## Tommee

The HV kept using phrases like 'Autism isn't the end if the world' 'there's worse things in life then Autism' 'Some children with ASD can attend mainstream school' these are some of what I heard I think I went into shock and switched off. I was then told not to worry, I've only spent every day, hour and minute worrying :-(

I've done a lot of research and my DS ticks so many boxes, I was ignorant to ASD beforehand and thought well he gives us all eye contact so he can't be? That's something else she asked before she left.

The HV is returning for another assessment which she said is just protocol then he'll get a referral to the Hospital, they don't see children until nearer the 3 year stage so we'll have a long wait.

Thanks for the letter/quote. I'll print it to share with DH.


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## Midnight_Fairy

I think you HV has been unprofessional. She should not have been throwing any statements at you. You need to have a proper assessment for ASD. I feel like she has been a bit out of line. I hope it goes ok though. Its a different path to life but its one you get used to fast. My son goes to mainstream school, he is very clever and he has lots of friends. Some things are difficult but not everything is bad xxx


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## Tommee

Midnight_Fairy said:


> I think you HV has been unprofessional. She should not have been throwing any statements at you. You need to have a proper assessment for ASD. I feel like she has been a bit out of line. I hope it goes ok though. Its a different path to life but its one you get used to fast. My son goes to mainstream school, he is very clever and he has lots of friends. Some things are difficult but not everything is bad xxx

Yes thinking more clearly now she has hasn't she, I mean a Doctor wouldn't say if he suspected cancer 'well at least the survival rate for cancer is high' he'd refer you. It does feel like I've been left in the ocean without a life jacket. 

It could be months until a proper assessment so as DS is only 26 months how to cope with it all? DH said since the HV visit I'm looking for every trait and putting everything down to ASD. I'm not allowing for his typical 2 year old ways. 

I just wish I was as ignorant as last week.

Your son sounds fantastic I only can hope for the same for mine. Xx


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## Midnight_Fairy

I was the same hun, I had an inkling from about 2yrs and he was diagnosed at 5 so yes all that time was wondering what if and felt like I could not move on until diagnosis. 

The thing is, he is still your boy, a diagnosis will not change him. Dont be scared, you will learn every single day, I am still learning about it all now. Its hard to get head around and now and then I wont lie, I feel a bit wobbly but I have to remember to take each day at a time!

He makes me so proud with every little thing he does and he will always be my beautiful boy. It does help to speak to like minded people but dont worry yourself to much.

I cant really be much help as even now I still search hours online but actually I have made loads of friends and some of the people even have asd are some of the the most inspirational people I have met.

If you feel like you still need to search, contact the NAS and just ask for advice. I dont want it to take over as there is a chance he may not have autism.

Just remember he is a child WITH autism, not an autistic child :)

You can ask me anything :)


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## Nix

Hi hun. At the age of 2 my son was unable to speak other than the odd word and as he progressed any words that he did say were not clear. At this point my HV had picked up that his speech was delayed and referred him to a speech therapist. At the time there was no mention of Autism although his behaviour seemed very different to my older daughter and I was picking up that there may be something.

Fast forward a few years and my son was referred to a specialist nursery for children with speech problems which was NHS funded and based. It was here that his behaviour was picked up. He is a very good little boy who is very loving. He is bright and has quite a good attention span. We had been having problems with what we thought was stubbornness - completely refused to get in the car if he wanted to do something else or wouldn't go into certain shops. He put his hand over his ears with some noises and seemed sensitive to sound. He makes very fast repetitive movements. He screams if you touch his feet. He likes absolutely rigid routine. Plus many more things.

His speech therapist referred him to a paediatrician to start the assessment process he was then referred to an occupational therapist. These appointments were in March and the Dr said that he thinks my son has Aspergers. He still needs to see an educational psychologist but they decided that he should start school first - which he did today. He then has to see the paediatrician again in March.

The main thing is that he has started mainstream school and he isn't different to the other children. Please don't worry. As long as your son gets the support that he needs he will do just fine. The fact that it has been picked up early is a good thing - not so that your son can get a label but so that he can get all the support that he needs to flourish. It is hard to answer your questions as Autism can vary greatly which is why it is a spectrum. Your son sounds just like mine was at 2 and other than the speech still being difficult to understand at times there really isn't an obvious difference between him and other children. I think most of the things we notice now are because we know that they are there. Please do not worry. Research Autism so that you know what you more about it. There may be strategies out there that can help you and your son in the meantime.


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## MilosMommy7

your DS sounds just like mine. he'll be 2 next month. he's been receiving speech therapy for the last month and a half. so far 2 people say he has no ASD, and 3 say they DO see it. i'm currently waiting to get a second opinion. you're not alone :hugs:


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## LoveleeB

Tommee said:


> Hi,
> 
> I never thought that I'd be posting in this section, I feel so alone :-(
> 
> I have the most beautiful, wonderful DS who's just turned 2 he's my first child. I also have a 2 month old baby. I noticed that he's speech was very delayed he doesn't really say any clear words he waves bye and attempts to say it but it's not clear. Also he builds towers with he's building blocks and lines his blocks and straightens them if there out of line. He jumps up and down flapping his hands, walks on tip toes. Climbs all the time and is never still. He also makes lots of noises when were out and about like a mmmmmm sound.
> 
> Now for the positive he is so loving and puts out his arms for a cuddle, he will pull my face to him for a kiss. He gives eye contact with everyone, he loves people and other children and will join in with them. He loves going for walks in his stroller and the car, he always sits still throughout the whole time. He knows where the local park is and gets excited when we approach it and sad when we leave.
> 
> I know all this is ASD he had his 2 year assessment and the HV seemed concerned, something that I wasn't until her visit now I feel sick all the time and can't stop crying. I have no one apart from DH to talk to who is fantastic but I just don't know where we go from here? I feel such a failure is it something I've done? I'm scared what the future may hold for him, will he ever lead a normal life? Will he be bullied? Some children and adults can be so cruel I've seen it. Hopefully it's a long way off but what will happen when we die? I'm so afraid for him, I just can't stop crying I wish it was me and not him. I love him so much it's breaking my heart in two.
> 
> Sorry for the long post it may seem a bit mixed up it's just how I feel at the moment.
> 
> Thanks for reading.

Hi Tommee

I just wanted to say that I can relate to what you are going through. My son seems to be regressing right now so I'm not sure where he will land on the spectrum but I cry all the time about it. I also lie awake at night wondering who will take care of my little boy when I am gone and will the teachers at schooll protect him. I also get scared of the day to day stuff, like what do I do if he becomes violent or loses his speech altogether. 

My son also has no fear and he's taken quite a few tumbles in the house due to his daredevil ways.

The only way I can handle it is to take things day by day so that's what I'm _trying_ to do. Otherwise it all overwhelms me.

:hugs:


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## bornthiswayxo

I have Aspergers syndrome, and know many other teens/young adults with ASC/ASD. Can I just say, your child is capable of leading a normal life, if the people I have met in my time are to go by. Your child may have to make more effort to do things considered the 'norm', I do day in day out... but I'm perfectly capable, my mum had the exact same worries... but I have so far turned out okay :) Good luck hun xx


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## Tommee

Thank you ladies for taking the time to reply it means a lot 

I'm taking DS to the Doctors tomorrow due to a fall he had so I'm thinking should I mention my concerns to him? At least it will get the ball rolling and I keep reading time and time again 'early intervention'. The HV isn't returning for another 5 weeks then a referral can take months DS is already 2 years 2 months. Then again I don't think? Here in the UK anything is done until almost 3 years of age. I don't know :-(

The ignorance has already started the glares in the supermarket when he's making noises, I just glare back at them, he's a child for gods sake a helpless child I want to say judge me not him. He seems to be getting worse but is that because I'm red flagging everything? 

Everything goes in his mouth he chews everything, is there something I can buy to help? All his books are chewed. 

Now I'm having sleepless nights worrying whether my 2 month old DD will be the same. I really do want to enjoy her as a baby not worrying all the time.

Sorry for going on. Thanks again for your replies xx


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## MilosMommy7

my DS makes a lot of weird noises too. people always look at him weird. lol. :shrug: there's nothing i can do. i just smile and keep walking.


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## Midnight_Fairy

we have very similar age gaps so I remember what it was like. With my DD I tried to just take her how she was, its hard not to look for signs but just try not too xx Good luck at the doctors.


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## Tommee

Not a great day yesterday. I mentioned to our Doctor about DS whilst we were there he said that he was going to leave it to our HV since she's already noted ASD. So he didn't want to take over, he mentioned that DS gives good eye contact but everything else I'd said could be ASD and needs assessing further, which I already knew. Whilst we were waiting to be seen in the waiting area DS got bored and starting 'playing up' I got such a dirty look from some old woman who then said shhhhh, how do you deal with this? So I was stressed out even before we saw the Doctor.

When he was younger acting this way people just smiled but now he's older everyone expects more from him I dread shopping or any public places. I love taking him for car rides or walks in his buggy as long as no one is around. 

Will it always be this tough? I wish it was me and not him I'd do anything for him but finding it do hard.

Xx


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## Midnight_Fairy

I think you just get a thicker skin as time goes on. I dont fuss in public now, I just let people think what they want. My main fight has been schools tbh and getting what he needs ETC but honestly just take one step at a time.l I can help you anyway if you just inbox me, happy to answer any thing at all. I know the process is so drawn out but stay strong. Try not to worry about others.
Occasionally I have snapped and told people he has autism but most the time I just dont worry about their opinions! xxx

P,s I survive with bachs rescue remedy lol xx


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## Tommee

Midnight_Fairy said:


> I think you just get a thicker skin as time goes on. I dont fuss in public now, I just let people think what they want. My main fight has been schools tbh and getting what he needs ETC but honestly just take one step at a time.l I can help you anyway if you just inbox me, happy to answer any thing at all. I know the process is so drawn out but stay strong. Try not to worry about others.
> Occasionally I have snapped and told people he has autism but most the time I just dont worry about their opinions! xxx
> 
> P,s I survive with bachs rescue remedy lol xx

Thanks again for your replies  you might regret offering to help as you may well have a full inbox Lol 

DH is coping so much better then me he's never cared what other people think in general so he's quite thick skinned anyway.

I just want the referral now and get him the help he deserves the HV is coming back to see us in October so that will be the start of the process.

Xx


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## Midnight_Fairy

I dont mind :)

Sometimes I feel like carrying a banner explaining lol but then I guess if people are so ignorant thats their problem. My sons problem is he does not care how old people are, he will tell babys to be quiet lol xx


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## littlelinnies

hey! i know how you are feeling! when i was told my daughter had ASD i was so gutted!but three years on we are doing good! you need to look at it as i did! my daughter wont be joining a gang or anything like that! i will get to keep her, she may not move out, which is sad in terms of the plans i had in my head for her. (as we all do) but it means i get to keep her forever:)
everywhere she goes ppl love her, shes so funny! all these things are because shes special! 
on the negtive its took ages for me to get any help for her! i shouted and shouted and pushed and pushed for the help she needed and now shes at a brillant school and shes happy. x


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## AP

OP your first few posts in this thread have described my daughter to an absolute T. We havent been diagnosed anything at the moment as she only turned 2 corrected age this month, but it all made so much sense to me and I just dont know how to speak up about it, I simpily dont understand a thing. :( I have book marked this for my husband to see.


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## Midnight_Fairy

Hugs Sandi :(

You know its all so hard to get head around, especially when you see something that makes sense! I remember seeing something on line then phoning my mum and reading it out and we both didn't speak for about 5mins, It was 100% describing Matthew! 

At first I felt relieved that actually there is a name for what he does but over time I did feel a bit over whelmed by it all. Even now, he is 7 and I still learn new phases and new things he does!

The best way to go about it is to talk to HV (if you get on with HV?!) If not, I would go the GP route and ask to see peadiactrican. If you already see a pead, I would perhaps mention that you would like to talk to them about some behaviours you have noticed. It was a lengthy process for us because in some ways Matthew is not far into the spectrum but in other ways he is?- does that make sense? 

For me, like I have said before. I didn't need the label for anything but yes diagnosis has made life easier in some respects. I think when you know for sure one way or another you can then move onto the next stage. The diagnosis was one stage and now we have moved on to trying to make day to day life easier. Such simple changes and visuals make like much more smoother. 

Well like I said Matthew was about 2yrs 6mths when I took action, it was not even overly obvious to anyone else at this stage and I did feel quite unsupported but we got their in the end :) You can message me any time, I always say to people I have kept all paper work if anyone ever wants to know what happened at "x" assessment etc.

Just remember feeling overwhelmed is entirely natural. I would say try not to become obsessive and analyse everything as that's what I did and it did kind of take over that stage of my life! 

x


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## Tommee

Thanks ladies for taking the time to reply.

I'm so sorry that some of you are going through the same :-( but it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone in all this.

I still can't get my head around it all every morning I wake up and think it was a bad dream. The HV is coming in 3 weeks time then that's when we'll get the referral. I still cry everyday for the DS I've lost will never have. I feel so bad for my DD who isn't even 3 months old yet and only seen a sad Mother as 2 days after she was born my much loved Dad passes away & now this with her brother.

I've not told any of my family I've lost the one person who I shared everything with my Dad although people have started looking at my DS as he's getting older now they expect more from him, I guess it was cute when he was younger the stimming noises, hand flapping non verbal now he's over 2 years it just looks odd to them. We get stares everytime we take him anywhere, sad thing is he loves the outdoors, park is his second home, I just fear so much for his future, I'm afraid of the bullies not just children, adults can be worse also his own family, sadly I don't have the best of families that's why I miss my Dad so much I now have no one apart from DH he is fantastic with DS.

Sorry for the down tone again, I wish I could see some light xx


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## Midnight_Fairy

Oh hun massive hugs. Try not to think to much of the future, my son was non verbal at 2 also and now he really does not stop talking lol xx


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## MilosMommy7

tommee- i know how that feeling goes. when they were young it was cute and "typical" of them. but once they should have outgrown those characteristics it becomes like you said, "odd".


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## Midnight_Fairy

I wouldnt worry to much about getting older, I think society is changing alot. My son is 7 now and I have got to the stage where I dont care what others think lol. If he kicks off in public or at the school, you know, if someone stares thats THEIR problem, not his! I think things have just changed in general, we now see more services for older people with autism and I think in next 10yrs this will change even more. xxx


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## AP

Whats the script with diagnosis. I heard that people wont even consider looking into it til at least 4 :( 

I read another thing last night and it was spot on.


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## Midnight_Fairy

well I went to HV at 2yrs 6mths (ish) and told her my concerns, I went behind the preschools back as they said that he was fine!. Anyway he got referred to peadiactrican and we saw her and speech therapist untill he was 4 and then he got referred to the autism assessment team at CAMHS (but the waiting lists was 18mths) so he didnt get diagnosed till 5 but I knew he had it all along. 

The preschool eventually agreed and he had portage help and 1:1 funded help (portage organised this before diagnosis).


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## AP

Looks like I will have to put my faith in the team that are taking over from neonatal care this month. They will be there for all her needs and will correspond with speech therapy and the other things just now and preschool next year.

I know preemies have double the risk of having it too, it's hard to weigh up with Alex what is down to her brain bleed, age, prematurity or perhaps just personality. :shrug:

I've learned not to focus on the what ifs, so time can only tell!

Thank you Midnight_Fairy xxxxxxxx


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## Midnight_Fairy

Hugs and good luck x


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## Karlie06

Hi I have a seven year old non verbal son with autism and other issues and the best advice I can give you is to take each day at a time. There will be good days and not so good days but you don't know what the future holds but It won't be as bad as you think. In a year or 2 you will be amazed at his advancements and be so proud of your child, so hang in there, it DOES get better


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## JASMAK

Just remember, no matter what the 'diagnosis' may be...he will ALWAYS be the same little boy, and you can work through this! My daughter was diagnosed with PDD-NOS at age 2, and now is considered 'Classic Autism'...it doesn't matter...she is still my little girl. Yes, she has to work harder, yes, there has been some very BIG bumps in the road...but, she is still my Makena. Nothing will ever change that. You will be OK. Hugs x


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## Menelly

Hi. :) First off, welcome to the family that no one wants to be in. 

Second: Yes, he'll be bullied. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but I can't with a straight face. Bright side? Often us autistics don't REALIZE we're being bullied, and believe it or not, that often makes it much easier to deal with. I have some horrible bullying stories from childhood that I didn't realize what was happening till years later... and that made life much easier at the time.

Third: How he'll do in life depends on a great many things... how severe is he? What kind of early interventions can he get? How are you reacting as parents? (I've seen far too many parents induce live long anxieties and depressions from their behavior towards their child... please don't be one of them.) What kind of expectations do you have from your child?

My dad is autistic, was diagnosed in 1959. His doctor suggested they institutionalize him and move on with life, and my Oma refused. He's had the same stable job for 22 years, has been married to my stepmom for 18 years, raised two decent children (IMO! :D) and has lived independently nearly his whole life.

I'm aspie. I'm happily married, one son already, another child on the way. I hold a job, pay my bills, etc. I have a small circle of friends I like, and I'm happy with life.

My 13 year old son is autistic. And I have every hope and dream of him doing the same as my dad and I. Might take him more work than it takes the average NT kid... but he can do it. :) I have faith!

Good luck to you!


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## Midnight_Fairy

^^ Thanks for your input. I hope this does not sound rude but not everyone with autism will or has been bullied. Times are changing and more awareness of autism is everywhere.

I didnt choose to be in the asd family but I would never ever change it, would never cure my son and I am glad I am in the autism family now. x


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## Menelly

Midnight_Fairy said:


> ^^ Thanks for your input. I hope this does not sound rude but not everyone with autism will or has been bullied. Times are changing and more awareness of autism is everywhere.
> 
> I didnt choose to be in the asd family but I would never ever change it, would never cure my son and I am glad I am in the autism family now. x

Well, in mainstream schools, I'm willing to bet 100% of kids are bullied. Not just people on the spectrum. Jr. High and High Schools (at least in the US!) are truly evil places where any level of non-conformity results in evil responses from fellow students.

So I'll stand by they'll get bullied. But so will the kid with red hair and freckles, the girl who matured faster and has big boobs by age 12, the person who knows too much about science, the kid with the accent, and the one not quite as good at tossing the football. Kids are evil little suckers sometimes, especially when adults aren't watching. 

And it's good to have people who are happy to be in the family. Like I said, it's the one no one relishes joining, but those who can accept it and make peace with it are great allies to have!


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## MilosMommy7

the US is terrible when it comes to being bullied. there's atleast 1 in every school. so it's bound to happen at some point in life, NT or SN. :(


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## TupeloHoney

I grew up with Asperger's Syndrome and all I can tell you is that the mother often knows best. I actually had early speech, compared to even typical children, which isn't that uncommon with some children with ASD. But fixations, odd mannerisms, toe-walking, and poor eye-contact were all present at an early age. I prefered to play alone, most of the time, during which I would set up my doll house the exact same way, again and again. I often would ignore people when they called my name, or ignored what another person said and would ramble on about my own topic. Still, I gave hugs and kisses, and was just as loveable with my family as any other little girl. 

In short, autism is different in every child. And, as I have written before, the mother usually knows best.


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## Menelly

You're lucky to have a good mom, Tupelo. :) (As I'm quite sure all the mom's on here are too.)

Mine so badly wanted me to be *anything* but Aspie that I spent a lot of time when young on various meds that didn't work, or in classes that frustrated the hell out of me.

I too talked really early (14 months), I think I was born knowing how to read (I remember reading Romeo & Juliet... at 2), still walk on my toes, and eye contact makes me feel like my bones are exploding. I just look at someone's left ear or eyebrow when they're talking to me, and it fakes it well enough.

And, even at 31 years old, if someone's trying to get my attention when I'm doing something else? Best of luck to you. I probably don't even hear you and if you touch me to try and "redirect"... well, have you ever seen a melt down in a 31 year old? It isn't really pretty. :/


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## Midnight_Fairy

wow it must be different in the US. I have never been bullied and I know schools take it VERY seriously. The school are a family so they are taught young not to bully. I am shocked its like that in america if thats correct? wow, maybe the UK does have a plus side!


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## MilosMommy7

the US is horrible when it comes to bullying. everywhere you turn to in the news there's anotehr story about a teen killing themself from being bullied.


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## TupeloHoney

Menelly said:


> You're lucky to have a good mom, Tupelo. :) (As I'm quite sure all the mom's on here are too.)
> 
> Mine so badly wanted me to be *anything* but Aspie that I spent a lot of time when young on various meds that didn't work, or in classes that frustrated the hell out of me.
> 
> I too talked really early (14 months), I think I was born knowing how to read (I remember reading Romeo & Juliet... at 2), still walk on my toes, and eye contact makes me feel like my bones are exploding. I just look at someone's left ear or eyebrow when they're talking to me, and it fakes it well enough.
> 
> And, even at 31 years old, if someone's trying to get my attention when I'm doing something else? Best of luck to you. I probably don't even hear you and if you touch me to try and "redirect"... well, have you ever seen a melt down in a 31 year old? It isn't really pretty. :/

Still guilty of toe-walking myself! I'm only twenty, but I can understand the embarrassment of being emotionally immature. I've found that I'm more hyposensitive than anything, but still, nothing and everything can send me into a rage. This concerns me for when I'm ready to have children, because I still feel as though I need someone to take care of me. 

I've been striving to be more independent, though. But things just don't come so easy. It's hard, always having to be a step behind the rest.


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## JASMAK

Funny...my daughter has never 'toe-walked', but she doesn't have Aspergers...she was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, but her school says she is probably 'classic' autism now (we have to get her reassessed).


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## Menelly

JASMAK said:


> Funny...my daughter has never 'toe-walked', but she doesn't have Aspergers...she was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, but her school says she is probably 'classic' autism now (we have to get her reassessed).

I don't know that I'm obvious about it, but I do it. The average person, from what I see, walks "heel, push thru foot, to toe, push off with toes". But my heels are way oversensitive (I also hate with the heat of 10000 suns, wearing shoes due to this) so if you watched me walk, you wouldn't see me just on my toes, it'd look more like I walk putting my whole foot down at once, and what you can't see inside my (evil, awful, no good) shoes is that my heels aren't touching the bottom. But I learned years ago that people look at you funny when you're bouncing on your toes, so it's far easier to just plant your whole foot. (It's interesting the fun little tricks you can learn to "pass". The "look at the ear" rather than make eye contact trick has saved me in more than one job interview!)


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