# advice wanted



## 2nd time

I am on my 7th pregnancy 6 natural v deliveries in hospital and one loss. 

I am thinking home birth this time as child care is an issue and other things. Question is would I be high risk / would nhs agree to it.
and two am I being completely unrealistic thinking we can look after five 6 and understanding whilst in labour advice or comets welcome.
tell me if I'm stupid I don't get offended easily lol


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## jamhs

I think you should go for it. Talk to your midwife and see what she says- you have up until the birth to change your mind.
As for your kids there- I think it would be lovely for them to see their new sibling right after they are born. And depending on time baby is born, they could all be in bed asleep- imagine their surprise in the morning! I'm having another home birth with #4, it was such an amazing experience. I'm going to keep the boys at home this time for the above reasons.
Good luck with whatever you decide!
Oh, and if you look on YouTube there are videos of home births where they even have the kids in the room or coming in right after and it really is nice.


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## MindUtopia

I think that sounds like a perfectly good plan if it's what you feel most comfortable doing. The NHS doesn't 'allow' you to do anything. Your place of birth is your choice. They can advise you of the risks, just like they would do if you opted for a planned c-section, but it's your call to make and they will support you in that. Lots of ladies deemed 'high risk' choose home birth and have perfectly straightforward births at home. Our local team in particular makes a real point of supporting 'high risk' births at home because they believe it's your choice to make. I think it's more of a matter of what the risk is and how comfortable you feel about it. If it's just because it's your 7th pregnancy, there are many, many grand multiparas who birth at home and it's not really considered much of an issue. But for example, if you have a congenital heart defect that might need emergency care during or after birth due to cardiac issues in the past, you might decide you want to be closer to hospital. I had my first at home, though it was a low risk, healthy, straightforward pregnancy and it was wonderful.

As for having your children there, it depends on your kids (their ages, how well they can entertain themselves, how much they might demand of you on the day, etc.), whether you need quiet and privacy when you birth, what other support you might have to hand. You've obviously arranged childcare in the past with your 2nd and onward pregnancies, so even if you did decide you needed extra hands on deck, then you'll already know how to do that from your previous births. I would say definitely have someone there, nearby or on call who _could _come and stay with them, _if_ you needed to transfer, or if you just needed some more privacy. You never know what might happen or what you might need in your birth space on the day, so it's always good to have a back up plan. I plan to have my daughter at my next birth (she'll likely be 4 by then, not pregnant yet), but we will have MIL and friends on call, but not actually present at the birth, in case for any reason I need to go into hospital. My husband will also mostly be there to support her as I didn't really feel like I needed him to do much the first time around and I prefer to be alone anyway. There are also sibling doulas who will work directly with your other children, rather than specifically to support you, during birth, so that might be an option as well (or a new doula in training who might just want some extra experience of attending a birth, some would probably do it for free to write up as part of their training). I think that all sounds completely realistic. I think the main thing is, do you want to have a home birth? I wouldn't do it just because it seems easier than sorting out childcare, but do it because it's what seems most relaxing and safe and comfortable for you.


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## lynnikins

its already been said but , your birth your body your choice, they can only advise.
im having my 6th at home anyday now will be my 4th homebirth,


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## NDH

grand multips are often considered high risk (which is a load of baloney if you have no other risk factors!) but as the other commenters have mentioned, you are very lucky in the UK that the midwives have a duty of care to attend your birth regardless of whether they agree with your birth choices. The power lies entirely with you.

I dont know how it works there, but have you got access to a student mw who could attend your birth and be another adult to help with the kids? Or a doula? I know many student midwives and doulas here who are happy to have their primary role be to help with kids if needed, or additionally be your support while your OH watches the kids. 

I would also suggest having someone on standby who can take them if necessary. I think having siblings present is lovely and a big pro about homebirth, and my own two (4 and 2 3/4) were present at my recent homebirth and did amazingly. But we had plans in place for someone to take them out of the house if need be, if they were too much of a distraction or becoming distressed. With ample preparation (reading books like Hello Baby, we're having a waterbirth, etc) and watching birth videos and practising labour sounds together they will likely do just fine.


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## 2nd time

Thankyou ladies I am pretty sure I want to have a home birth my sister has refused to ever look after my children for labour again as apparently she has to put her life on hold. So I actually have no one. I love labour I think I am addicted to it but would like the option of gas and air does anyone know if it's available at home


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## NDH

If youre in the UK then yes the midwives all carry gas. Pethadine too I think?


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## 2nd time

NDH said:


> If youre in the UK then yes the midwives all carry gas. Pethadine too I think?

Woohoo looks like I'm going to need my carpets cleaning I'm going home birth wish me luck


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## lynnikins

good luck hun, get a shower curtain to tape down to the floor and some old duvets/towels to make a nest the MW's will bring absorbant pads but they are small so I always buy bed wetting pads as they are much larger so move less


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## 2nd time

Well I have now spoken to my mw and she said a homebirth would be against medical advice. I'm going to be on blood thinning drugs for most of this pregnancy and have had hemoriges in the past. It's disappointing but if it's against medical advice my dh will never support it.


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