# OMG



## cammy

I havent been into my internet banking for a while, I only keep my savings money in there so I dont need to. I realised that money has been disappearing every few days ever since I got my new card. OH has my old card. :/ which means he's the one taking my money.


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## MissMummy2Be

What that's nOt right Bree I would be cutting sick at my OH if he done that :O talk to him about it


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## Melissa.Feb12

whats he doing with it :/


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## cammy

OH I will be talking to him about it. I can't believe he'd do something like that. I noticed today he took out AUS$20 from my account when he's at work, he's never near shops, he has a full tank of petrol and was given lunch. So why??


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## Melissa.Feb12

how much has he taken total


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## MissMummy2Be

I would under stand if it was like a both your money's in there and he needed lunch at work or petral but if he has it all whhy take it :(


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## cammy

I'm trying to figure out how much he has taken.


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## MissMummy2Be

Would he be paying it off that watch you said about??


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## cammy

MissMummy2Be said:


> Would he be paying it off that watch you said about??

Maybe but he only just did that so he was usuing my money for something else before he got it.


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## MissMummy2Be

Hmmm I don't know :(


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## keljt1127

oh my gosh thats terrible! u need to confront him!


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## keljt1127

thats also hurting your trust for him, i dont know why he would do that on purpose without telling you:nope:


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## missZOEEx

does he know that your saving that money? that's not very good. :/


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## Strawberrymum

That's awful! 20 dollars always rings alarm bells in the head cause thats how much FOB used to take to buy marijuana. Hope he's not doing that! :hugs:


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## lb

:hugs:
that's so terrible! I hope you get it all sorted out. That sounds really sketchy to me :\


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## airbear

Oh no! I would be so upset if my OH did that! Hopefully you'll be able to get to the bottom of why he's been taking the money soon!


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## Mei190

Oh dear! I hope you find out why and sort it out very soon! 
Any chances you can cancel the card anyway?


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## lauram_92

Thats awful :nope:

But if he has your old card did you give it to him, or did he just take it? He might think it means you okay with him taking it?


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## Nervousmomtob

I'd talk to him. With the way he's acting like the whole not taking you to get groceries and buying that watch and now taking your savings money? I mean it's sketchy..


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## bbyno1

Oh,what..
I would deffo talk to him about it. I wonder what he has been needing it for then:shrug: That would probably be bugging me the most


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## amygwen

That's crap, your OH needs some serious talking to! The fact he's stealing off of you is ridiculous :nope:


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## cammy

I talked to OH about it and his defence was, but I thought we shared everything, so its our money. Thats money Ive been saving for two years prior to us living together and now its mostly gone :(


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## annawrigley

What the hell, no that's not how it works. Take something of his and sell it and say oh I thought we shared everything :) Stupid boy


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## rileybaby

omg, even if he did think you shared everything, surely he would run it by you first? If Ronnie did that to me, well, he'd pay every penny back:winkwink:


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## wishuwerehere

That is bang out of order! I'm sorry but from your previous posts it really sounds like your OH needs to be shown where the door is...
Also, if you've got your new card through why haven't you cut up your old card? Not to prevent this specifically occurring, but just in general it's a good security idea!


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## Tanara

_I dont know me and OH do share everything, we both had savings before we were together so its not like its a big deal. We only talk to eachother when were buying something more than 50 bucks, I trust him not to screw us over and vis versa.. 

But just going to say if I handed my OH my old debit he would 100% assume he was aloud to take money out  _


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## MissMummy2Be

cammy said:


> I talked to OH about it and his defence was, but I thought we shared everything, so its our money. Thats money Ive been saving for two years prior to us living together and now its mostly gone :(

Thats a shit defence :( my OH has my old card as an emergency thing or if he needs something like lunch at work coz they normaly come home he dont take any 9/10 times so if they have a day they dont i dont mind him getting something to eat ect. this past weekend he went away and AUS$100 went out of the acount i freaked out at first not knowing what was going on and he explainded to me that he damaged something on there footy trip so had to pay AUS$100 to replace it or we would of had to pay AUS$400 bond back to the club :S so as pissed off as i was i was glad he had the brains to pay the 100 insted of getting home and going to me o by the way we have to give the club 400 :S he can only use my main account tho not savings or Christians whitch is conected by net bank :D but my savings is shit as :( we used what i had a long time ago when i moved to melb with him as i didnt have a job there yet had to use it so im starting again :D


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## cammy

to answer your questions i have it to OH to but up for me because he had the scissors. Guess he didn't.


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## cammy

MissMummy2Be said:


> cammy said:
> 
> 
> I talked to OH about it and his defence was, but I thought we shared everything, so its our money. Thats money Ive been saving for two years prior to us living together and now its mostly gone :(
> 
> Thats a shit defence :( my OH has my old card as an emergency thing or if he needs something like lunch at work coz they normaly come home he dont take any 9/10 times so if they have a day they dont i dont mind him getting something to eat ect. this past weekend he went away and AUS$100 went out of the acount i freaked out at first not knowing what was going on and he explainded to me that he damaged something on there footy trip so had to pay AUS$100 to replace it or we would of had to pay AUS$400 bond back to the club :S so as pissed off as i was i was glad he had the brains to pay the 100 insted of getting home and going to me o by the way we have to give the club 400 :S he can only use my main account tho not savings or Christians whitch is conected by net bank :D but my savings is shit as :( we used what i had a long time ago when i moved to melb with him as i didnt have a job there yet had to use it so im starting again :DClick to expand...

i wouldn't of minded if he had of asked or it were a small amount of money but he's emptied my savings. I mean there was only 500AUD but it was money that we agreed I'd keep to myself as he got to keep his savings that he had before we were together. I had plans for that money.


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## QuintinsMommy

I would FREAK OUT! that would piss me off unbelievably !


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## emmylou92

OH and go onto eachother online acounts and swap money around If he goes out he uses my card just as I use his but if he goes out and spends a fair bit £100+ he tells me so I can make sure there is the right amount in my account for bills to go out off.

but still if you OH has the stuff he needs then why is He spending your money? You should kick his ass.


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## cammy

emmylou92 said:


> OH and go onto eachother online acounts and swap money around If he goes out he uses my card just as I use his but if he goes out and spends a fair bit £100+ he tells me so I can make sure there is the right amount in my account for bills to go out off.
> 
> but still if you OH has the stuff he needs then why is He spending your money? You should kick his ass.

Ive shared my account details with OH so he can access mine. But OH tells me to go away even when he has his open. :S 

We each get our own bit of spending money every fornight but lately he seems to spend mine before I get it :(


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## Strawberrymum

just saw your post in confessions whats your OH doing with all the money? 

no offence but from all your posts on bnb your OH sounds like a tosser and could do with a kick in the ass :hugs:


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## kittycat18

I would push him off a cliff.


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## lauram_92

You gave him your card to cut up, and he kept it and used it? :nope: AFTER you discussed your accounts and decided to keep your savings for yourself? WTF. He's fucking you over.


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## Thaynes

:hugs:
I totally understand what you are going through if you need to talk about it. My OH does that kind of stuff you to me all the time. When he had a job and I had no money he would give me 20 bucks a week to buy all my cigs, things for the house, and things for LO while he took the rest with him or spent it. Now that I have money and he has no job he expects me to always buy things for him. I even have to hide my wallet or take it everywhere I go or he takes little bits of money out and hides it from me.


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## Tanara

_^^ Not to be rude but the moment i have to start hiding money from my OH or worry about him stealing off be id be kicking him to the curb... 
_


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## annawrigley

lauram_92 said:


> You gave him your card to cut up, and he kept it and used it? :nope: AFTER you discussed your accounts and decided to keep your savings for yourself? WTF. He's fucking you over.

Agreed. He's taking advantage big time. He sounds like an absolute prick tbh, I really think you would be better off without. No point trying to salvage something unsalvageable :(


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## stephx

Tanara said:


> _^^ Not to be rude but the moment i have to start hiding money from my OH or worry about him stealing off be id be kicking him to the curb...
> _

^^ this exactly


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## cammy

thanks ladies and I know, Hes being a real ass with everything. The thing is, and I know its miserably sad, if I left him, Id have nothing and no where to go. There is no way Im going back to my parents because that would be an even worse environment for me and LO. I still love OH and I am trying very hard to sort things out and Im starting to come to terms that its not going to work, but I dont know what to do, I wont be able to get enough benefits to support us two.


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## cammy

What Id like to do is not to separate but to live separaately for a while because then I know that will force him to be smart with his money.

In the end I think we rushed into moving in together, would have been better if we both lived independantly first.


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## Strawberrymum

could you kick him out and you and baby still live with your brother? he really does sound like a waste of space.


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## xCookieDough

*^^ Yeah he really sounds like he is taking you for a ride, he needs to go
---xo*


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## samface182

demand that he gives you back everything he owes you and then keep your own money to yourself. i would go crazy if my OH done that without asking me! he sounds like a complete and utter tool.


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## cammy

If I kick him out that will still leave me with no money except benefits, which is not enough to live off, and half a rent which I cant afford.


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## MissMummy2Be

If you did seperate hun you could change from a partnerd rait to a single perenting one whitch is a bit more money but still prob would be a bit tight money wise :(


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## angiepie

Cammy, what area of NSW do you live in? And what Centrelink benefits do you get atm? If you rent a granny flat or one bedroom place you can get Rent Assistance for it. You can also apply for advance payments from Centrelink. You could also go to a women's shelter for a few weeks/months until you can afford the bond. Did you take the Baby Bonus or Parental Leave?

*MissMummy* is right, being single boosts your rate. I get the carers of over 16s pension and because I'm de facto I get about 500~ a fortnight coz OH works part time. If I was single I'd get the full rate of 700~ A bit silly that it's like this considering OH earns only about 350 a fortnight!


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## airbear

cammy said:


> What Id like to do is not to separate but to live separaately for a while because then I know that will force him to be smart with his money.
> 
> In the end I think we rushed into moving in together, would have been better if we both lived independantly first.

OH and I moved in together July 2009. We broke up/took a break for about 3 months starting January 2010 and I moved into my own place. For us moving in together reallg strained our relationship (we had already been together for 3 years). But taking that break also really helped us and now it's been two years since and our relationship is stronger than ever.

Did he ever tell you what he spent the money on? Even if he thought that you shared everything it should still be reasonable things he is buying. My OH and I always talk about what we're spending our money on as we never want to go into debt and always want to make sure we have money for food and bills. Have you talked to him about why you're upset?

I can understand that it's not just easy for you to up and move. Have you talked to him about how you're feeling?


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## MissMummy2Be

angiepie said:


> Cammy, what area of NSW do you live in? And what Centrelink benefits do you get atm? If you rent a granny flat or one bedroom place you can get Rent Assistance for it. You can also apply for advance payments from Centrelink. You could also go to a women's shelter for a few weeks/months until you can afford the bond. Did you take the Baby Bonus or Parental Leave?
> 
> *MissMummy* is right, being single boosts your rate. I get the carers of over 16s pension and because I'm de facto I get about 500~ a fortnight coz OH works part time. If I was single I'd get the full rate of 700~ A bit silly that it's like this considering OH earns only about 350 a fortnight!

You can get rent assistance on just about anything as long as it's over one amount and under a different amount I get about half of one weeks rent a fortnight. You can also get a advance payment on your partnered payment on e every 12 month or on family tax once every 6 months :D I think the partnered one is up to $500 and the family tax one is up to $1000


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## cammy

I live on the gold coast. 

I know about the extra money I can get but it still wouldnt be enough. 

We talked about the money situation and sorted it all out, now we just need to sort us out :S


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## cammy

airbear said:


> cammy said:
> 
> 
> What Id like to do is not to separate but to live separaately for a while because then I know that will force him to be smart with his money.
> 
> In the end I think we rushed into moving in together, would have been better if we both lived independantly first.
> 
> OH and I moved in together July 2009. We broke up/took a break for about 3 months starting January 2010 and I moved into my own place. For us moving in together reallg strained our relationship (we had already been together for 3 years). But taking that break also really helped us and now it's been two years since and our relationship is stronger than ever.
> 
> Did he ever tell you what he spent the money on? Even if he thought that you shared everything it should still be reasonable things he is buying. My OH and I always talk about what we're spending our money on as we never want to go into debt and always want to make sure we have money for food and bills. Have you talked to him about why you're upset?
> 
> I can understand that it's not just easy for you to up and move. Have you talked to him about how you're feeling?Click to expand...

I have a feeling we will need to do that, live apart for a while. But I dunno if Im strong enough to do that. As lame at that sounds.


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## MissMummy2Be

cammy said:


> I live on the gold coast.
> 
> I know about the extra money I can get but it still wouldnt be enough.
> 
> We talked about the money situation and sorted it all out, now we just need to sort us out :S

glad you guys sorted out the money hun and hope you guys can sort everything else out as well and be a very happy family :hugs:


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## cammy

thanks me too, but I have a feeling it may take a little time. But good news, OH gets a pay rise soon so maybe that will take the stress of money off him and he wont take it out on us as much.


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## xx~Lor~xx

I'm sure I saw you mentioned on a post that your OH has savings too, I think you need to sit OH down, explain to him that he was wrong to spend your money, regardless of whether 'whats mine is yours' as he has his own savings. If you can find out what he spent it on, then he can pay a certain amount back. For example, if he spent the money on things that were also for you and LO, then he can pay half back, if its just on him, he'll pay the full amount back. If he refuses, he needs to do one. 

OH and me don't really have 'mine' and 'yours' money, we have a joint account which we both have access too, his account, which I also have access to, and my account which only I have access too (but there's never anything in it because i transfer everything bar about £30 emergency money) into the joint account to pay bills, rent etc. We discuss near enough everything, so both of us know where the money's going. Even so, we both check through the accounts and make sure nothing has gone out that we don't know what it is.


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## cammy

the whole reasom for having his and her money was to give OH a limit on the random spending he does so we had enough moeny for bills and baby every fortnight, pfft obviously didnt work. 

Now he gets no money and its all going in to making up for what he spent and that we now dont have for bills. Lets just hope he doesnt pull a stupid stunt like that again


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