# 17 weeks and still nervous about loss again



## TTC Again

I would have thought by now the nervousness would stop and I'd be comfortable in being pregnant...but I guess is never ends. After living through the 3 losses in a row it feels like it can happen at any moment and with no warning. I'm so sick to my stomach leading up to every US. And afterwards the joy of seeing that things are okay only lasts so long before I start to get inside my head and convince myself that something is not right. Am I the only one or does everyone feel this way???


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## SabrinaKat

Nope - we're exactly same dates by the way. I 'only' had one m/c two years ago at 7-8 wks and have had scans at 9, 12, 14 (due to cervical bleed to reassure me) and 16 wks and so far, everything is fine. Am worrying even though no changes since last week, and will almost hold my breath until 19 wk scan.

I think it's absolutely normal, unfortunately....

best wishes


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## TTC Again

Thanks, hun. Glad to hear I'm not alone in feeling like this, but sorry to hear you're in the same boat. When is your 19 week scan? I have mine on October 6th, which can't hurry up and get here soon enough!

Wish I had an at home doppler...or course I'd probably make myself nuts if I did!


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## SabrinaKat

yep - suggested doppler to the dh and he said that neither of us would get any sleep because we would be up all night, listening to the baby!

my 19 wk scan is on 5th -- so the day before yours. I don't think I have felt the baby move yet, and hopefully, will feel him soon (yes, it's a boy!), then maybe will feel better; then, when I hit 23 wks (end of October), I know that the baby could survive in a neo-natal hospital if I have to deliver early...

I'm 43 and this is our 'miracle' baby as was a month or so away from IVF, so while would have been happy with egg donation, etc., am perhaps more nervous than I should be BUT all of the ladies on the pregnancy after a loss, all speak of their own nerves, etc....

best wishes


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## HavnFaith2011

*I know exactly how you feel... Im also 17 wks 5 days and scared to death! Sometimes I think it won't be ok until she is in my arms.*

*Wishing you the best of luck with your lil Angel!*


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## AlwaysPraying

The worry seriously never ends. I made it to 4.5 months before we lost our first boy. Our second boy is now 1 year old and I still worry!! I worried right up until the end of the pregnancy, and then when he was born, I worried they must have missed something. Now, finally, I think I'm at a normal mom worry.

I think it was the shock of the situation, these losses are so unexpected and heartbreaking. We never want to go through them again, so we almost prepare ourselves for the worst. I explain it like this. Imagine having a terrible car accident at a certain intersection. Everytime after that, you'll go through the intersection more nervous and more scared, but you have to go through it to get to your destination. Even when you pass through it safely, your still scared, and the next intersection is scary too because you got into an accident in an intersection before! Hope that makes sense. 

Worry is normal and natural, not always the best, but we make it through. All the best to all of you.


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## SabrinaKat

I keep talking to the baby and imagining him in my arms; I hope we ALL get that this time!

best wishes


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## despederata

omgosh this is me exactly! Had an mmc last year and am currently 15 weeks. 

I have days where I am barely showing on good days when the bloat goes down and I am TERRIFIED it'd be another mmc... I just try to breathe through the panic attacks... :(


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## emilyrose.x

Totally human to be scared hun.. especially after a loss!

I had a MC at 7weeks and know how scary it is!

I really hope that the fear goes for you soon - mine went around 15 - 16 weeks but up to that point i was constantly worrying that i had a MMC - instead of thinking positive, i was worried that the further along i was, the harder it would be too say goodbye.

Then i realised that at 14weeks the chance of miscarriage goes down to 1% and the further along i got, i started to think of it as the chance of miscarriage going even further down.. We had a early scan at 17weeks 2 days and found out we are having a little girl- i am over the moon and everytime i walk past the nursery i get all giddy inside and excited.. you will soon be like this in no time hun :)

I still am serial knicker checker - constantly observing the toilet paper for any coloured tinge but i think this is just because iv got into the habbit of doing it :blush:

Try stay positive hun, all here to support you :hugs:

xx


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## TTC Again

Thanks, girls. very nice to know I'm not alone! I appreciate all of the shared sentiments.

18 weeks today (my ticker is a bit off) and i MIGHT have felt some movement over the weekend, so that could be a big comfort. My last US was at 13 weeks and haven't seen little bubs since then, so I'm just praying everything is okay in there. I go next Thursday for my anatomy US and am so anxious! I feel like once I see things are okay then I'll be able to breath a lot better!!!

Yeah, at home doppler would be dangerous for me. I'd probably never leave the house, or I'd be in tear freaking out because I couldn't find a heartbeat. Not worth any added stress I suppose!

Good luck to us all!!!!


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