# My husband left



## cherry_pie

I cant believe the last time I was on this site I was married, pregnant with our first and blissfully happy. So much has changed. I gave birth to our beautiful son in July and have never ever been so happy in all my life. Then my husband up and left 3 days before christmas when my little boy was almost 5 months. Just said he didnt love me and had wanted to leave for a while. Totally out of the blue for me...didn't suspect a thing. We ar eletting our house be repossessed, I'm living with my parents, he sees our son twice a week and gives me well below the csa guidelines, however his 2nd job isnt through the books so no point me even taking him to court. He has turned into such an ass so quickly, even though I have accepted the split, been totally amicable and never stopped him seeing our son. I hate that he is named after his dad. If he wasn't 7 months old I would change his name. Anyway, mostly I'm fine, day to day coping really well, still enjoying my son immensly and not really pining for my husband because I am so angry at him, but have been getting really jealous lookign at happy families and other pregnant women.. we had planned to try for another baby when our little man was around a year. I don't know why he told me he wanted to when all along he wanted to leave. Si yeah...I'm 26, married, separated, single mother, in debt for the rest of my life for a house I soon won't own. My little boy is amazing though :)


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## LilyTTC

I'm so sorry to hear that. But if he's able to just fall out of love with an amazing woman who gave him a beautiful baby boy, you deserve better anyways! Stay strong!


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## CrazyBird

I agree, You definitely deserve better than that pig, from looking at your avatar pic you are gergeous so its his loss. 
You have your amazing son which makes everything worthwhile.

xxx


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## ilove3baby

I also agree and understands its tough but you sound like you have your main priority in order and thats your sweet baby....:)) Wishing you the best...


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## dustbunny

Men just fucking suck!!! - there, said it. As a PP said, you deserve so much better. If he comes back, tell him to get lost. He is not worth the time or effort and it is his major loss. Stay strong, you are a beautiful young woman. Everything has a way of working itself out even if at the time you can't see the wood for the trees.

:hugs:


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## MommaAlexis

Something similar Happened to a very close friend of mine, and you actually look a bit like her! He picked up a hitchiker, slept with her, packed up and left! I never saw it coming, and neither did she. I was actually in the middle of talking about how at least her hubby was supportive when she called to tell me! To give you some hope, She went back to school, became a PSW, makes more money now, AND lost all the birth weight and is a total milf. Oh and the hubby came crawling back when he found out she had a hot australian boyfriend. Bahahaha. I was very proud of her! We're all here for ya!


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## Mammy2Joojx

bitter sweet really hun isn't it :( husband being a dick & leaving, debt etc but if it weren't for him you wouldn't have your LO. Aslong as you & your little boy are happy that's all that matters, sod your ex! X x


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## cherry_pie

Thanks for all the support ladies, even though I haven't been on here in ages I thought I would come back as was feeling a little down and always recieve the kindest words and pick me ups from this site!! I would never take him back now but tbh he isnt a bit interested anyway. On the plus side, I have been exercising hard as it always keeps my mental state in a good place and have lost all the baby weight plus one stone so feeling pretty good in myself. I do actually feel like I am in a better place right now than I have been for a long time, but it doesn't stop me yearning for the family life I should hs life have had at this stage of mine and my son's life. But you guys are right, being happy is much more important,and that is the thought that made up my mind it was better to let the house go so me and LO can enjoy my money and go nice places etc instead of struggling with a huge mortgage for the rest of my life and being skint. Four walls just aint worth that. Thanks again girlies, I feel better already xxx


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## Mammy2Joojx

well done you on dropping the baby weight :thumbup: wish i had it in me to loose weight :( haven't got the willpower or the time :haha: x x


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## george83

although there was different circumstances leading up to it i'm in almost an identical situation to you. me and my husband were happily married he got an amazing promotion at work and we started trying for a baby. literally the day after i told him i was pregnant he changed and when i had my baby in july too i was almost a single parent and now as much as it breaks my heart that's exactly what i am. i thought we would be together forever and i can't believe i've been left in this situation by the man i loved. i'm still in our house at the moment but i'm completely broke and my dream of working part time to spend more time with my baby seems to be gone to as my husband isn't giving me any money at all. 

i hate that my baby's life is ruined already and he's only turning 8 months old today but i'd rather he had only me than a waste of space like his dad dropping in and out whenever he feels like it. your son is lucky to have such an amazingly strong mum and hopefully the bond between you two will keep you going. 

p.s i'm totally jealous about the weight i've been exercising non stop too and swear i'm bigger now than when i was 9 months pregnant!


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## cherry_pie

George83 don't you ever think that your sons life is ruined!!! This is only the beginning of his life and it is sad that he (the same as my son) is not going to have the life that you thought, with both parents, it will be a different life to what it should have been but not any less of a life. The good thing about our situation I guess is that the separation has happened while the babies are still young so it's not going to adversly impact them really because by the time they start to know what's going on hopefully everything will be sorted. 

I feel the same, still can't believe that he has left because we had a really good marriage and had both agreed to try for more babies quite soon, he was dependable, loving etc etc and out of nowhere he up and left, is giving me very little money saying I get child benefit so that should be enough! He is cold, abrupt, and slightly intimidating as his text messages can be quite nasty but yet he is pleasant enough to my face, it is all very confusing. Anytime I see him though I always make sure I look good and am my chatty happy self, him on the otherhand pretty much always looks a mess, beard, sleep deprived looking, very down, but this is all his doing.

Anyway, our babies will keep us strong and we have to focus on gettign on with things so they do not notice what is going on. I am lucky my parents are so amazing and they have made us feel very welcome in their home. I have decided to let my house be repossessed as it would leave me skint for the rest of my life paying it!! Hope you keep strong xxx


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## Snowball

I'm so sorry to hear this :hugs:. I'll never get these men. Mine left me pregnant with 3 under 5's and like you our marriage had been quite good so I thought. You've got your gorgeous boy though hun and he'll keep you going even through the bad days and in return he'll know that you were there for him through everything :hugs:


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## itsamystery

I know it's been awhile, but I found this comment accidently while research for a book I'm writing. A very similar thing happened to me, only many years ago. I became very depressed, but in the meantime I finished 2 college degrees, began a very successful career, bought a house on my own, and remarried.
My ex (who remarried a couple of times) now says that he regrets it. I think men don't know how to handle the dramatic change in their lives that a baby and a changing wife bring. 
My advice; focus on your future--not on men because they come along anyway. Focus on your child. I was touched by your comment that you were happier than you'd ever been after you had your baby.
I remember saying that to my husband (I guess it's those hormones).
He said, "Don't say we won't ever be any happier". Guess that was a clue.


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## Dezireey

I spoke to two of my brothers mates yesterday. One has two kids, the other is still single at 40. I asked why men just bugger off when their wife / girlfriend gets pregnant and they basically said abruptly that the idea of fatherhood scares some men and makes them realise they can't just go out and get any pussy they want, when they want!. I said 'how does this apply to a married man though? he shouldn't be wanting to do that anyway? and they said for lots of men, it's not that they will cheat and/or leave their wife, it's the 'idea' that they could IF they wanted to with no ties. Having kids is such a permanent thing that it freaks them out. I'm not sure this theory applies to all FOB's but it wouldn't surprise me. I truly believe that they opt out because they can, simply that. They have two choices, stay or go. We essentially have one decision when a baby is going to be born and that's that. Any man (especially a husband) that opts out because he can't cope or thinks this is not for him is going to learn the hard way that he will live to regret it. I'm sure your husband will have regret, it's inevitable. Just make that idiot lose the biggest prize ever and that's you. You will be long gone, happy with your LO and probably in love with someone else before that idiot realises what he has done. Unfortunately for him it will be too late, damage is done.


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