# Dilemma of sorts..



## Gia7777

Hi ladies - I also posted this over in 3rd tri but after thinking realized I should have just posted it here and see what some of you think... Part of me feels like I can handle this situation just fine on my own but the other part of me really wants hubby here as we tried for sooo long for this baby and it was only after we 'gave up trying' that we succeeded. 

****

Let me preface this by saying I am all for letting baby come when baby is ready - and not intervening with an induction for pure scheduling convenience, however, I do have a situation which I am sure am not the first to experience and wanted to see what some other ladies would do/have done in a similar situation.

My hubby is away for unavoidable training for a period of a few months, and as a result, will likely miss the birth of our son, should we let nature run it's course....However, if I were to opt for an induction close to my due date and close to a weekend (provided LO stays put until then), then my husband could schedule a flight back (6 hrs away) for the birth. 

What would you ladies do if you knew that your OH would not be with you for the birth, but that with a scheduled induction, he could be? I'm torn in many ways as I really want the birth to happen naturally but it is also very important to us both that he be here if he can... 

What would you do in this situation?

Thanks.


----------



## mtnprotracy

I would schedule the induction. Every birth situation is different, but I was induced with my first. It went splendidly. Good luck :). It sure is getting close now....induction or not :D.


----------



## dachsundmom

I agree...if your doctor is comfortable doing it, having DH there will be worth it to you; these are the memories you can't get back.:hugs:


----------



## Indigo77

I agree....I would schedule the induction...


----------



## Garnet

I had my oldest son without his dad being the and it sucked. It is such a wonderful time for both you and your husband to bond so yes I would induce.


----------



## Gia7777

Thanks girls. I guess I am just really torn - as much as I want Hubby there....I want just as much to allow things to progress as they normally would - I have been so fortunate thus far problem free and I'm afraid if I mess with nature I may cause there to be a problem that otherwise wouldn't, if that makes sense. I've heard some great induction experiences, and some nightmare ones, as with anything I guess, but this is a tough one for me to decide.


----------



## Maple Leaf

Just want to send you some :hugs:

You have a big decision ahead of you, I can't tell you what you should do. I agree with all the ladies have said about how you can't get the moment back etc...but I also agree with why you want to let things happen naturally.....

Sorry I'm no help, but I'm thinking of you. X


----------



## urchin

gosh - that's quite a dilemma, I can see why you're wrestling with it :hugs:

I think if it were me, the need to have daddy there at the birth would win out ... there is no one else I want there to support me - and although there are plenty who would if Mr Urch weren't able to, they would be a very very poor second best.


----------



## suzimc

I'd do the induction thing if it was me honey, I'd hate to be without my husband for the birth xx


----------



## DeeM73

Oh poor you :hugs: I think we would all want our OH's there for the birth and I can see why you would want to let nature take it's course too.If the doctor was happy enough to induce me then I would go for it x


----------



## vintage67

I would absolutely opt for daddy to be there if it were me!


----------



## Storm1jet2

I know having my DH there was invaluable for me - not sure I would have coped half as well without him - he was such a fantastic support the whole way through my labour especially as I'd left it too late for additional pain relief and it was gas and air all the way. 

Do what you and your hubby think is best for you both, its entirely your decision. You are lucky to have the option, they won't do what the call social inductions over here :(


----------



## Borboleta

I would do the induction too. I understand your fear. It took us a while to get pregnant too and this is our first baby. But remember that your hubby is as part of this process as you and baby are. I just think that an experience like that should not be missed by anyone. And because of our age :haha: God knows when and if that will happen again. Talk to your doctor and see if he can ease your mind to do the induction. 

I know p ersonally I would hate not having my husband there during birth. I am already mad at him because he has a meeting tomorrow about 2 1/2 hours away from where I am and I keep telling him not to go in case baby decides to come tomorrow!! :dohh:


----------



## zennie

I'd choose induction if the consultant/obs were happy to do it. I'm sure you really want your partner by your side and he wouldnt want to miss this for the world. 
Wishing you the best of luck :flower:


----------



## SabrinaKat

I'll add my 'two cents worth' and agree with all the other ladies! If your doctor is agreeable, then absolutely schedule it and have your OH there -- it will relax you a lot, give you comfort and support and even tho it isn't 'natural' per se, both of you will remember this day for the rest of your life!

I have to have an emergency c-section last week and having my OH there kept me calm. Unfortunately, I had some complications (bleeding) and my OH was kicked out while they all stood around, deciding what to do, and THAT terrified me (bleeding was from a loose staple), fortunately, he was quickly allowed back in! 

best wishes


----------



## SabrinaKat

I'll add my 'two cents worth' and agree with all the other ladies! If your doctor is agreeable, then absolutely schedule it and have your OH there -- it will relax you a lot, give you comfort and support and even tho it isn't 'natural' per se, both of you will remember this day for the rest of your life!

I have to have an emergency c-section last week and having my OH there kept me calm. Unfortunately, I had some complications (bleeding) and my OH was kicked out while they all stood around, deciding what to do, and THAT terrified me (bleeding was from a loose staple), fortunately, he was quickly allowed back in! 

best wishes


----------



## Maple Leaf

Hey Gia - did you make any decisions yet? X


----------



## Gia7777

Hey Maple Leaf - Thanks for asking! I need to stop this madness of searching the internet, I should know better. I'm still very much torn, and even more so after talking with 2 of my neighbors. One was induced and had no problems whatsoever, and the other was induced and ended up having a section after a long labor and no dilation progression. 

Anyone who knows me well knows that when presented with a decision that has to be made, I do my research and then think about it for a day or two and then make the decision, and be done with it - but I'm really still struggling with it. What is making it even more difficult is that my OB is completely leaving it up to me after giving me all the info on it and is comfortable with whichever I decide. 

I'm almost tempted to flip a coin at this point as crazy as that sounds.


----------



## DeeM73

That's the only thing about the internet,so easy to search things.When I had my two kids 12 and 13 years ago we didn't have the net which in a sense was a blessing,now I'm constantly looking and know I shouldn't :nope: I really don't know what I would do either guess I would have to be in that situation.Good luck with whatever go decide :hugs: x


----------



## MrsR3AM5

How does your husband feel? I would say, go with the induction...I'm pondering induction just so my sister can be here (my parents have both passed on, and she's the closest person other than DH that I want here immediately after the baby arrives). 

Hope you can make a decision you feel good about soon!:thumbup:


----------



## Gia7777

Thanks MrsR3. My husband does very much want to be here as well, and, like most men, is really clueless about the whole process of labor, inducement, etc (despite my attempts to educate him verbally and via the internet) and he is "leaving it up to me because I know best and he'll do whatever I say" - LOL his words exactly...... However he did mention he wasn't too excited to read some of the negative aspects of inducement, but like anything there are pros and cons. 

I'll be making a decision by next week, and I think I'm closer to feeling completely comfortable with what I'm likely to decide...I'll keep you all posted!

I can certainly understand your desire for your sister to be there as well, and Im sorry your parents are here only in spirit to celebrate with you. My Mom is 73 and widowed and moved near us a few years ago so I am fortunate to have her here.


----------



## Junebug_CJ

Gia we're in a similar situation. DH is away, 5 hours drive, until the due date. I had an emergency C-section with my first (because my pelvis ended up too small for her head) so was told there is a 60-80% chance of it happening again with yet another emergency C-section... Putting 2 and 2 together, for us it makes sense to go with the scheduled C-section for baby and I PLUS DH will be able to be there for the birth (and leave the day after for the remaining week of training). HUGS!!! It's a hard decision to make, but in the end, for us, having daddy here when baby arrives won out...


----------



## Gia7777

Aw thanks Junebug! It's comforting to know I am not the only one in this situation, and I'm sorry you find yourself in a similar one. I am glad your DH will be able to be there, as yes I agree, having Daddy there is of utmost importance. My DH has been away since December, coming home just for the Holidays....so everyday it's tough to do this alone. especially the further along I get. I feel like a dying cockroach trying to get out bed when I awaken on my back and gosh forbid there's an emergency I'll never get out lol. It's hard for me to read some of the other sections on this board where there are gals complaining that their OH is working late, or watching football with the guys, etc, etc, etc. I WISH that were the case here!!!! Hugs.


----------



## Junebug_CJ

I completely sympathize!!! :hugs: we'll get through this with each a beautiful baby boy in our arms :cloud9:


----------

