# Just found out I'm pregnant at 14 and scared



## candicelayla

My boyfriend and I were at a pool party in the beginning of September at a mutual friends. He and I went to a secluded area of beach and had sex a couple of times. I never felt him shoot inside me. We went back to the party like nothing had happened. About a week and a half ago, I noticed my period never came and it usually does and I've noticed my boobs feel sore, I've had headaches off and on, I've been feeling nauseous and also certain smells bring it on, plus I've been really tired. I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive. I'm wondering how often are home pregnancy tests wrong? I really dont want to be pregnant at 14. But I'm willing to accept the concequences. Also, should I go to my regular doctor or the baby doctor to confirm I'm pregnant? How will they test me? Also what will the baby doctor do and when should I start seeing one? Will they tell my parents because I'm scared shitless what they'll do? Thanks.


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## zmzerbe

My advice to you would be to tell your parents asap. Keeping something like this from them can do a lot more harm than good. Your parents will be more knowledgeable of your situation and be able to give you sound advice as to what you should do next. On top of that, I don't believe you can make your own appointments without your parents knowing, so trying to hide that from them I am sure would make your parents angry. There really is no way around telling your parents and the longer you wait, the worse it will be. They will probably be upset, so prepare yourself for that, but like you said, you are willing to accept the consequences and this is one of them. Good luck to you, keep us updated.


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## zmzerbe

When I came home pregnant at 19 (granted I was older than you are) but I was so scared to tell my mom, let alone his parents. I thought my mom would be mad or upset, but she actually really surprised me. Her response was "at least I was able to wait until 40 to be a grandma!" and she cried with me. Then she got excited. I'm not saying this is what will happen with your parents, but you never know, their response could surprise you.


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## ChiiBaby

I got pregnant at 16 hun and my mum wasnt mad at me she just wanted to help me. As soon as i told her we went to the doctors to comfirm it, and then they told us what to do from there.
Good luck hun <3


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## candicelayla

Figured I'd Update you guys. I was sent home from school just after lunch because I was sick. So my mom came to school to get me. We were in the car heading home when I told her like you guys said I needed to do. She was very disappointed in me for making a bad decision :cry: but she hugged :hugs:me and said she supports me and will do whatever she can to help me. She works the night shift at the hospital as an ER doctor and will get an ob-gyn appointment for me. Now to break the news to my dad, boyfriend and his family. 

Another question when you guys went to the ob-gyn, what did they do in your initial appointment? I know I need to go but am scared? Also what else can I do now that I know to give my baby the best chance?


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## tinkerbelle93

That's great you've told your mum! I'm glad she's being supportive and hope your dad, boyfriend and his family are the same. 

My first medical appointment was at 8 weeks pregnant, I had to go through a form about myself and the dad's family medical history and my situation and lifestyle ect. I also remember having to give a urine sample. 

In terms of what you can do.. start taking folic acid daily as well as a prenatal multi vitamin, and obviously cut out smoking and alcohol intake if that applies to you. Hope you have a healthy and happy 9 months :flow: x


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## ChiiBaby

As Tink said. They just talk to you about any health risks in your family to make sure the baby is safe and you. They just want general info about you and your boyfriends family. Try not to scared hun <3 Good luck and keep us posted! <3


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## candicelayla

Another update. I had a chance to talk too my dad. I told him the same thing I said to mom. He got upset with me and expressed his disappointment. He even said he needed to think about it. He came to my room a couples of hours later after I was crying:cry:because of my asshole boyfriend (I'll get to that later in the post). He comes to my room with flowers and chocolate. He hugged:hugs:me and said hes proud of me and will do what he can. 

Now for the bad part. I was talking to my boyfriend over the phone and told him he was a daddy and that I was pregnant. He went off on me over the phone calling me a slut and a whore and how I couldn't keep my legs closed. He accused me of cheating on him saying that his friends told him that I had sex with all of them. I couldnt take it and I started sobbing:cry:.I let him have it telling him be was the only guy I had *EVER* had sex with. :growlmad:I don't know what I should do what do you guys think?


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## skyesmom

first, kudos to you for telling your parents immediately, and kudos to them for being so supportive from the first moment on :flower:

second: you boyfriend is scared shitless, just like you are. his reaction is completely fear-driven, impulsive and irrational. also telling such a news over the phone probably allowed him to rage out even more. it is harder to blow up like that when you have a person there face to face with you (and maybe at your place with your parents around... i think he wouldn't have allowed himself that).

third: there is a very good chance that he will come around and apologize, when the initial shock and denial passes - the thing of accusing you of sleeping with his friends is basically it - denial - as he is not capable of accepting the overwhelming responsibility of having a baby at 14-15 PLUS the responsibility of having done this to you (i assume he's around the same age as you). his first reaction sucks, but he's not an adult like your parents are, he doesn't have their maturity and emotional stability, so stupid words like this one can fly out easily. but none of it will make either you or your baby disappear from his life. give him some time, he's in this with you for a lifetime.


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## zmzerbe

I don't want to sound harsh, but you're having a baby and I think at this point you will need to grow up fast enough to hear this. 

Your boyfriend may or may not stay your boyfriend for much longer. His parents will also probably be in denial, and in some cases may even have their son completely ignore you until they are sure that it's his baby. Unfortunately, he can also decide that he wants nothing to do with the baby and sign away parental rights leaving you to your own. 

When I was 16 I went through some medical treatment with a birth control making me very sick and I didn't get my period for a while. I was too scared to get a pregnancy test, but I was almost sure I was pregnant. I confided in my boyfriend what was happening and he was scared. Later that night I got an e-mail from his dad telling me that what we did was not smart and that he would cover all of the charges for an abortion. Long story short, I wasn't pregnant and our parents wanted our relationship to end. But the e-mail from his dad was heartbreaking. He would have rather me have an abortion than ruin his son's life. 

You might get some of this from his parents. I just want to let you know that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. :hugs: I am glad you took my advice and told your parents immediately. That was a very grown up and mature thing to do, and like I said, Their reactions aren't as bad as you can cook up in your head sometimes.


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## candicelayla

Good morning. Figured I'd update again. My bladder had gotten me awake&#8230; again. I dont know about you guys, but it seems like after I got my positive on a home pregnancy test, I've had to pee more often than usual, lol. But I did get to talk to mom after she came home and she managed to get me an appointment with my doctor this morning to confirm I'm pregnant. I dont know though if it would be too early to see the OB though. My moms a sweetheart and picked me up some prenatal vitamins. Ive started taking them along with a multivitamin. :happydance:

I also told one of my besties I was pregnant as well. She hugged:hugs:me and told me that she still thought I was one of the best and that I am like a sister to her. :hugs: She also was telling me her 17 year old sister is pregnant as well and further along too. So this could be interesting. 

I also look for my boyfriend to break up with me. I was checking my email on my phone and I got a scathing email from his mother which brought me to tears :cry:. She basically told me I was worthless, will be a welfare bum, that I'm nothing but a cheap tramp and some other not so nice stuff [Admin edited as per the forum rules] I feel I need to do this to prove I'm strong and I can do this. Plus shes doing this when I'm trying to quit smoking so the baby has the best chance. I think shes trying to drive me nuts.


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## Misscalais

I just want to say, for next time so you're smarter. You can get pregnant even if your partner pulls out ( currently pregnant with my 4th baby from this ) but im a lot older and married now. If you have sex a few times in a day there will be sperm that can escape. Condoms and birth control is a smart choice.
You're only 14, having a baby is huge at your age, not many, if any 14 year old father's will step up and take on that roll. So if you're choosing to keep the baby prepare yourself to be a single mum. You're lucky you have such supportive parents and i wish you all the best. Don't be afraid to talk all your worries and concerns to your patents :)


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## tinkerbelle93

Just ignore his mother for the time being, I mean it's understandable that she could be shocked and disappointed but behaving the way she has is just unnecessary and helpful to nobody. 

It's great your parents are being so supportive, it really does make all the difference. X


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## Hermione394

First off :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Second: The way his mother spoke to you is absolutely unacceptable. Don't let her get to you. She can't accept the fact that two people made this baby, and it's just easier for her to blame just you and not her son. It's not right, it's not cool, and you shouldn't take it to heart my dear.

Lean on your parents. Come here and talk to us. We all have your back hun.

Have you thought of options? Do you plan to keep the baby? Put it up for adoption? What are you hoping to do?

Please keep us posted on how the doctor appointment goes <3.


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## skyesmom

agree with the pp regarding your boyfriend's mom. it is oh so much easier to blame it all on you that admit to herself that she has failed as a parent (because for her, him screwing up is her personal failure at parenting). 

try not to take it personally, whatever she wrote. it is an immature, impulsive reaction to a shocking news, and there's nothing for her to be proud of there. 

your parents and your best friend sound really sweet and supportive, and maybe the fact that your best friend's sister is also expecting could make your pregnancy feel less lonely. you'd also have someone to share the motherhood days with later, in case you decide against adoption. which is a great thing to have in real life, as i think most teen moms find themselves really lonely and isolated from their friends from this point of view. other teens worry about standard teen stuff, while you get to raise a baby, and adult moms can't really relate as their whole living situation is much different.

have you told your mom about this email? i think she should know, because it would only be fair for an adult to confront an adult in this kind of situation.


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## skyesmom

ps. and if your boyfriend decides to break up with you and decides not to be in the life of his child either, it is HIS loss. not yours. 

For you it will be loads of tough work and lots of things to prove, but you will also grow as a person (and you're already doing it by acting responsibly and telling your parents, going to docs, etc), one step at a time. and somewhere in the future, it will be way easier for you to find a new relationship to a man who is gonna love both you and your child, then for your now boyfriend to rebuild a relationship to his kid, in case he decides to run away completely now.


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## Topanga053

:hugs: I am SO GLAD you told your parents and they were so supportive. That's wonderful and you will definitely need that.

The way that your boyfriend and his mother are speaking to you is completely inappropriate. I agree with PP to let your parents know what his mother said to you. No adult should be speaking that way to a 14 year old. It is completely inappropriate, no matter how upset she is about the situation. After all, you did not get pregnant on your own. Her son had a little bit to do with that! ;-)

You sound like a wonderful person and I hope things work out well for you! Please keep updating us here. Xoxo


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## candicelayla

Good morning guys. Thank you so much for the love and support you've shown me:cry:. I love you guys:hugs:.

This blah, sick feeling is driving me nuts. I hate that I cant keep much down right now and that most smells are making me sick. However for some reason I'm craving peanut butter and pickles. The first time I requested it, it made my moms face scrunch up like she sucked on a lemon. Which was hilarious. Is there anything I can do to keep myself from feeling so sick? Also I'm noticing I'm devloping a bit of a soft, like speed bump protruding from my belly. Im starting to get excited this could be the start of my baby bump. Is this baby or bloat? If it helps, I just became 7 weeks. 

I took you guys advice and showed my mom the email from his mom. She was livid. She said it would be taken care of. But, when I came home from school yesterday, which was hell because my "boyfriend" started spreading the word im pregnant, I got another email from his mom that said I cant see my boyfriend until I become "unpregnant".:dohh:I know that she never really liked me, but she's being ridiculous. 
I'm not punishing my baby because of our irresponsibility. If anything, shes making me more determined to keep my baby. Am I crazy?


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## tinkerbelle93

Sorry you are having morning sickness, I can relate. I'd think at 7 weeks it's.much more likely to just be bloat than anything else- going by my own experience anyway! 

Glad you have your mother's support with regards to your boyfriend's mother. She sounds awful, just try not to talk to her or have anything to do with her for the time being. It's great you're using the negativity to feel more determined :)


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## skyesmom

sorry about the morning sickness. but regarding your bf's mom and the way he is acting in school - again, tell your parents. also about the new email. 

and for the school - can you schedule a meeting with your school councilor? maybe even with your parents there in case your councilor wants them present too? the sooner you make a plan regarding your schooling the better, and also your mom and dad may appreciate that, to see that you ain't giving up on those things because of the baby. and bring up the fact that he's been telling everybody in school. he doesn't have to support you but he also doesn't need to make it harder on you, and he definitely has no one in his family to offer him a good example on how to act and behave (seeing what his mom writes).


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## tag74

you are super brave! I really applaud you. I have a daughter just a little bit older than you. I'm glad your parents are being a support to you!

From a mom of a 15 year old, please do me a favor. Block your boyfriend's mom from contacting you. It's completely inappropriate. If you must, reply back and cc your mom and dad and tell her from this point going forward you would like her to include your parents on any emails she sends you.

Second, please get on birth control going forward. I know it makes sense to all of us including you...but you deserve to have a future as much as your little baby. And by only having one...you can do it. I was 23 years old when I had my first and that was young (and I was married and then divorced) but I managed to put myself through college twice. You're going to have some times where you feel depressed or even left out...but it sounds like your family is amazing...lean on them and your friends and keep your head up.

You sound very mature for your age...stay well and at peace. :friends:


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## Kuji

Let me start off and say that I'm pretty proud of you! You were very brave and confronted your parents and boyfriend early on (kudos on that!) and didn't wait in fear. I'm really happy that your mother is being supportive in all this, we all need someone there for us, especially when it's a first pregnancy, no matter how old we are. 

I can say that I am disappointed in his mother. I understand being upset but the way she talked to you was unacceptable. I wouldn't take what she said to heart though and ignore her. If you want to, block her as well, you don't need that negativity right now. If she still tries to communicate with you in any other form, make sure to always tell your parents. 

And just so you know, having a child as a teen does not mean that you'll be forced to live on welfare or whatever else your boyfriend's mother said. My sister was pregnant at 17 years old and today she has a great job, is married, own a new car and they're looking into buying a house. And right now, she's only 23 years old! :D You can still do a lot, it'll just take a little extra work. 
My one advice is to try your best to finish high school. The only bad thing that came from my sister's story is that she doesn't have her diploma (working on it now though) and because of that, she actually lost a really amazing job opportunity! So definitely do your best and stay in school as long as you can, preferably to the end. You can do this! :D 

Good luck and keep us updated! :hugs:


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## candicelayla

Hey guys. I havent posted in a couple of days but have lurked while eating some ginger and drinking ginger ale getting rid of this darned morning sickness. The good news is that my morning sickness is starting to subside. Now mostly dealing with sore boobies, bloat and hoping this morning sickness goes away :happydance:.

I was out shopping with my mom at one of our stops and we ran into my boyfriends dad and sister. He apologized for his wife and son since they have been living together since their seperation and said he wishes the best for me since I'm carrying his grandchild and will help out however he can. His sister even hugged me which was a total surprise. I felt loved from his family for the first time. 

His mom even sent an email apologizing to me for the way she acted and thinks its cool I'm carrying his child and he should be more responsible. All after I sent an email saying I'm keeping the baby. 

But now im not dealing so much with morning sickness. Oh, its still there just not as intense. But the soreness in my boobs and the frequent urination are becoming things now and im not sure how, to lessen it along with my tiredness. Any tips?


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## Kuji

Unfortunately there's not much that can be done. The first trimester is considered one of the hardest trimesters due to those symptoms. 
I'm not sure if there are any tips for the sore breasts since I mostly just toughed it out. They hurt since the beginning and all the way until 12 weeks. But remember that every pregnancy is different so your symptoms could leave earlier. 

The frequent urination will unfortunately only get worse so there's not much to do about that. And you can't just try to drink less since you actually need more water to stay as hydrated as possible. Baby is also going to need some of that water for it's amniotic sac :) 

For the tiredness, again, not much can be done. It's best to not drink too much caffeine either. I think only a cup of coffee a day is what's best (assuming you drink coffee). What I would do is, when possible, I would nap once or twice during the day. It definitely helps to sleep as much as you can and when you can. 

Hope it helps!


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## skyesmom

So happy to read your feedback Candice! what a great and lovely surprise from his family, both from his dad and sister, and even more so from his mom (although she should have thought better and kept her mouth shot in the first place!!).

i hope his mom really puts her nice words into practice and gets some reasoning into her son as well. 

as pp said, frequent urination won't leave you until the baby is out, as for the rest, the general tiredness can lift off when placenta takes over around 12 weeks.. as for sore boobs, they were one of my first symptoms when i was pregnant; i don't know though how it is in your case, as you are only 14 and they probably didn't even develop fully so all this hormonal rush may add some extra strain on them!

do you still go to school despite feeling crappy?


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## Powell130

Everyone else has said what I would have but just wanted to let you know that I commend you for being so mature in such scary/exciting situation at your age! I think you are going to do just fine


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## DaisyDreamer

Just jumping in here... You are very strong for facing this! Having a baby means growing up but it also means becoming a very beautiful woman. Was so sorry to hear about all the drama between you and your boyfriend's family.
If it helps, I was (sort of still am in) the same boat.... My partner and I only knew each other/have lived together for a year by the time I fell pregnant and his parents were less than supportive. In fact they have just said plain nasty things about it behind my back. Well I am glad that his mother apologized and hopefully the father of baby will step up with more responsibility and maturity too.

Bravo on his dad too, showing you support and love for his grandbaby. A lot of people can act out in fear but glad that's all over now. This may not be good news but challenges of parenthood have just begun! There will be plenty of comments from your peers and strangers about your choices, etc but just remember to keep your head up high--THEY just don't understand the precious joy it is to bring a baby into the world. But maybe keep it at one baby until you are older.

As for the urination, that's just a part of the package. Frustrating, isn't it? For sore breasts I would use ice packs or massage. Wearing a nice supportive bra helps a bunch, if that's your style. Fatigue is also a part of the deal, but sitting around too much can make you feel more tired. Take a few 20 minute walks to get blood and oxygen flowing and use that time to think about your beautiful baby.


I will be checking in on this thread every now and again and see how your journey is coming along. Feel free to message me if you need any reassurance or questions. Best of luck to you!


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## MyFavSurprise

Hello, I wanted to say that I think you are being incredibly mature about your pregnancy and I think it's amazing that you are finding so much support! It will help so much to have his dad and sister supporting you as well.

I got pregnant with my first when I was 22.. I was living with a friend, smoking a pack or more of cigarettes a day, smoking marijuana all day every day, and I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship and was being somewhat promiscuous with a couple of my neighbors.. I was on birth control, but it failed and there I was. Anyway, the day I took the test my life changed. I quit everything and moved back in with my mother who was supportive, however my dad was terrible and had only supported me when he thought I was going to have an abortion..my baby was referred to as "the problem" throughout the pregnancy, and at my baby shower my dad got wasted and it was just a mess with him.

Anyway, my son is 4 now and he is the most amazing thing in my life, my father and I are close for the first time ever and he's proud of me, and I'm pregnant again, planned, and getting married to an amazing man who loves my son as his own. I just want you to know that even though you're young, your behavior says you are ready to take this on and your baby will be the most amazing gift ever, you won't believe it :) and having a baby young doesn't guarantee your life will go anywhere you don't want it to no matter what people say.. it's still up to you


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## Amy92x

Just read this thread - hope you and baby are doing OK! :)

You sound like a really strong girl I wish you all the best.


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## DaisyDreamer

emilymoore68 said:


> Teen pregnancy can be a problem. There are health risks for the baby and children born to teenage mothers are more likely to suffer health, social, and emotional problems than children born to older mothers. Also, women who become pregnant during their teens are at increased risk for medical complications.

This article is more arbitrary than fact. Surely OP's OB will give her all the information she needs.

Need I remind that this is a _support_ thread


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## tinkerbelle93

emilymoore68 said:


> Teen pregnancy can be a problem. There are health risks for the baby and children born to teenage mothers are more likely to suffer health, social, and emotional problems than children born to older mothers. Also, women who become pregnant during their teens are at increased risk for medical complications.

This is a fairly old thread but I echo PP in saying this is supposed to be a support forum and I don't think the original poster needs a lecture on teen pregnancy being a problem. Also, pregnancies in women over 35 are deemed as more 'high risk' with increased likelihood for medical complications than teen pregnancies, so that point is invalid.


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## BabyBlondex

What a brave girl you are and I'm so glad how supportive your parents are, you will get there, it always gets easier in time. I'll be following this thread &#128522;&#128156;


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## Bumblebee2408

Your story moved me.... you sound so responsible and grown up for your age and I think the way you've handled speaking to your parents as well as dealing with your boyfriend and his mum has been amazing. I'm so glad everyone seems to have come round now though and things sound like they're getting better.

I hope you come on to update. Please message if you need any advice or just someone friendly. You're going to be a great mummy.

Keep strong.


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## Key

You seem like a very responsible girl and very strong willed! I'm happy you have supportive parents. Your story touched me.


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## Tryingagain3

Is love to know how your getting on now. Hope your good x


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## Key

It's going to be tough but that's OK and normal. If you need any advice, feel free and PM me. I am a mom of two, a 10 year old, and expecting a little bundle of joy! I was scared when I was pregnant at 16 but I got through it because of family and friends support and a lot of help.


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