# Weighty Issues...



## MrsTurner2012

From the moment I found out I was pregnant I wanted a home birth.

I didn't think much could stop me from doing so if my pregnancy was low risk which I just presumed it would be. 

I just popped my son out, no problem.

So I saw the consultant at 20 weeks because my BMI is 36. The cut off is 35 to be classed in the lower risk.

The consultant and was very nice about everything but did reel off a long list of complications due to weight during birth.

Frightened the life out of myself and my husband.

So what I'd like to know is what you think about home birth whilst a little bit chubby.

Ideally I'd still love a home birth but now this list of complications are whirring around in my head.

Do I chance it? Or just lump it and go to the hospital?

I was heavier when I gave birth to my son but 10 years ago that was never an issue...

I'm just so confused... Should an extra couple of lb's stop me?

Obviously even if I hadn't had these BMI issues I know something could potentially go wrong but its really at the front of my mind now that something will!


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## Guppy051708

I hate that people terrify moms with more padding about birth. ugh! First off, weight in and of itself does not increase risk of issues. Maybe if you were super morbidly obese maybe then i could see it, but not at your BMI. That is about my BMI. I have given birth two times, both unmedicated intervention free (second was a HB) with no problems. I am having another HB this time around too. DS1 was face up and i managed to get him out but that had nothing to do with my weight :nope: Quite honestly i call BS on when they say larger women will have issues. I think you need to be significantly, super larger in order for that to *maybe* even be an issue. Your weight alone should have no bearing what happens during the actual birth. And i presume you are getting prenatal care so if things like GD or Pre-E became an issue you would know about it, and plus that is a prenatal issue, not a complication with birth itself (if im making any sense here). 

I say follow your instincts. If you want a homebirth go for it. Here you are not considered high risk just bc you weight more than desired or have a high BMI. Now they may test for things like GD more often, but that does not ever classify you as high risk just bc of your weight (unless you are morbidly obese, which you are not). You are only high risk if you actually end up with some issue like GD, Pre-E, placenta previa, etc. And as someone who has birthed just fine in the past and is overweight with a similar BMI, i really just dont buy into this notion that being overweight alone is going to cause an issue.


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## Sam Pearson

MrsTurner2012 said:


> I just popped my son out, no problem.




MrsTurner2012 said:


> I was heavier when I gave birth to my son but 10 years ago that was never an issue...

Don't listen to such ridiculous scaremongering. The above suggests you are a perfect candidate for a homebirth. Do some reading, relaxing, remember the confidence you had earlier and go for it.

My siblings and I are naturally slim and very active and when my sister and I had our first babies we ended up seriously underweight during the early breastfeeding period...so we worked very hard to increase our weight when pregnant with our subsequent pregnancies. I had 1 homebirths and 2 freebirths - with my attended birth my IMs didn't even mention BMI nor weigh me at all. My sister had all hospital births with an Ob and he went on and on about how she was putting on weight which had her concerned. We were throughout all of our pregnancies very healthy and had all completely natural births and our weight gain did the trick as we managed to remain a better weight despite demand breastfeeding and caring for our other children.

The focus should always be on health not what a person weighs and I highly recommend you reading at this site:

https://wellroundedmama.blogspot.com.au/


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## MrsTurner2012

Thank you so much! Both of you.

It's true.. Of I'd not spoken to that consultant I'd still have the confidence in my HB choices.

Now hubby has been scaremongered too I now don't have his support 100% as he's worried more than I am.

He says its my choice but I know he's prefer me to be in hospital 'just in case'

Ill have a read of that link!

Thanks again


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## SammyJ

I'm trying to fight for my HB at the moment. 

My midwives are happy that I would like a HB, but because my BMI is 38 they have had to refer me to a consultant. 

I went for the consultant appointment yesterday and she didn't even bother to turn up. I had some nurse do all the usual checks the midwives do. She then asked why I was there and I said because of BMI and the fact I want a homebirth. She said "Oh you're not allowed a homebirth because your weight means you're more likely to bleed and develop DVT". I said I have a right to birth at home, but that I would prefer to be supported in my decision and that I am a very active person who wants an active birth in my home environment at which point she said she would go and talk to the consultant. 

They have asked me to have a scan because up until now baby has been breech and transverse (hello those appointments were at 30 and 32 weeks and he has since turned) and because my son was 9lb2oz when he was born and they want to check that this baby doesn't get too big. 

I only had gas and air with my son and although I had a 2nd degree tear with him, I gave birth with no problems standing up (couldn't bear to lie down!). I am hoping to have a home water birth this time (hoping water will help avoid another second degree tear, although it healed with no problems so not a major concern). 

Will keep you posted on how my "fight" goes - the scan is on Tuesday followed by another consultant appointment - if she bothers to turn up!


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## MrsTurner2012

It's horrible isn't it.

My fight hasn't actually started yet as I've not spoken to my midwife regarding the HB.

I asked the midwife why I had been referred to the consultant and she used the word plumtious!

I'm so torn. 

I have other reason to want a HB too - link below

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/pregnancy-second-trimester/1805043-ex-factor.html

I just wish I wasn't in this position! 

Good luck on tues!


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## SammyJ

Just read about the EX factor and noticed in your post you say that she "works in the hospital where you HAVE to give birth" - I just wanted to repeat what my midwives have said to me...

Legally you have the right to give birth wherever you want to - so although you might have a tougher route to getting your homebirth, they can't refuse it (although you might find it best to be open to a transfer should the need arise during your labour).....

Good luck to you too!


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## Sam Pearson

Freebirth isn't for everybody but it was wonderful for me both times I did it and my free pregnancy was the best of all - no pressure, no scaremongering, no weighing how heavy or light I was....just me focusing on connecting with my baby, being as healthy as possible, preparing myself to birth - all the important stuff me thinks.


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## MrsTurner2012

Sorry to sound stupid but what's freebirth?


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## Guppy051708

MrsTurner2012 said:


> Sorry to sound stupid but what's freebirth?

Giving birth in an environement of your choice with only those you love and trust and have a deep personal connection with. It typically does not involve the presence or care of any medical professional. Mom is highly informed on her health status, birth, and the various aspects of each. It's what some call an unassisted birth but I prefer the term free birth, personally, bc unassisted sounds negative to some ppl. As PP pointed out, it's not for everyone but it is truly an amazing way to birth-it dates back since the dawn if humanity. It's our primal roots


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## MrsTurner2012

I've heard of unassisted. I'm not sure I'm that brave.

My husband is squeamish and faints easily so he'd be no help.

It does make the whole birthing experience sound magical the way you've described it


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## berniegroves

I wanted a home birth with my daughter and had to fight my midwife on it. Them when I went in to labour and my husband called her she said I had to go into hospital because my bmi was too high! 
I was in too much pain to argue so just went. The labour was 15 hours in total, but they used forceps in the end. 

I'm now 9 weeks pregnant and would like a homebirth. But I'm still overweight and as I had an assisted delivery last time I'm worried I won't be able to do it this time either. 

I've done research online and I think basically the main risks of being overweight are gestational diabetes (but you'll know if you have this before your labour so not relevant) and if the woman is VERY big there is a chance the midwives wouldn't be able to lift her if necessary. But again as they send 2 midwives and your partner is there I can't see that being a problem in most cases. 
As far as I can see there is no research to show overweight women have more complications DURING labour.
If they try to scare you ask them for the research and statistics to back up what they are saying! 
Big hugs. Hope you get your home birth x


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## MrsTurner2012

Thank you! 

Now I have all these thoughts in my head that they've put there its hard to push them aside.

I see my midwife next thurs so I will see how a chat goes with her and if it helps me make up my mind 100%

I just want to be able to relax & know what's going on!


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## BunnyN

Some midwifes don't really like home birth and will find a "reason" why anyone, no matter how good a candidate, "can't" have a HB. Other MWs are into the idea and really supportive, they will only be concerned about real issues. If you notice that doctors/ MWs are just coming up with excuses why you shouldn't have a HB without really seeing your case and using good reason then I'd just keep firmly thanking them for their concern and saying that you still feel that having your baby at home is the best choice and is what you would like to do. Seeing as you have had a baby before without problems and you were heavier then I don't really see that BMI is a good reason you shouldn't have a HB.

I've read that overweight women have longer labours on average but transfer to hospital, lying on your back and epidurals all slow down labour, so that just seems like a even better reason to have an active HB :).

Hope you have a good appointment, let us know how it goes.


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## MrsTurner2012

Luckily I know my midwife is into HB. She has been at a few with my friend (mother of 5) 

So I may be in luck with that.

Ill keep u updated


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## BunnyN

That's a good start if she supports HB.


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## SammyJ

Well, I had my scan on Tuesday and LO is currently weighing in at around 6lb 2oz (at just over 35 weeks) so not exactly a monster!! 

Everyone I spoke to after the scan said that that was normal and I should be able to have homebirth no problems....

...until I had my consultant appointment. Again I didn't see the actual consultant, I saw a junior, who went to speak to the consultant and she said no. At this point I got frustrated and insisted I spoke to the consultant. 

We had quite a debate, but I couldn't convince her and she couldn't convince me, so as she realised that I hadn't had a GTT she made me an appointment to have that test on Wednesday. Depending on the outcome of the test, then I will have to wait and see what happens about homebirth. 

I was on a real downer after that appointment, but then bumped into a lady who works with my community midwife team and she said that if we have to we will go to the supervisor of midwives to get their approval for my homebirth. 

I have to ring tomorrow to get results of GTT and then we'll see what happens.....


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## MrsTurner2012

It's a nightmare having so many conflicting opinions.

Fingers are crossed for you and hope you get the answers u want!


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## BunnyN

You may feel more comfortable with seeing the consultant, which is fair enough, but if you don't really feel like you are getting anything helpful from the consultant visits you can always just say you don't want to see the consultant anymore (unless there is a valid reason of course) and that you want a home birth.


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## SammyJ

Well got the results of GTT from midwives and all was normal - no gestational diabetes here. The midwives told me that they had a plan in place, but to go along with consultant for timebeing. 

The next step was going to the consultant today for the results - they were normal and it was like seeing a different woman. She said, it's good news the results were normal and I've spoken to your community midwife team and I am completely happy to support your homebirth! 

Woo hoo! So it just goes to show that with a supportive team of midwives you can definitely still have a home birth! 

I will be 37 weeks on Monday, but hoping this little one hangs around until after my sister's wedding on 26th April. Will keep you all posted on how it goes!


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## Guppy051708

SammyJ said:


> Well got the results of GTT from midwives and all was normal - no gestational diabetes here. The midwives told me that they had a plan in place, but to go along with consultant for timebeing.
> 
> The next step was going to the consultant today for the results - they were normal and it was like seeing a different woman. She said, it's good news the results were normal and I've spoken to your community midwife team and I am completely happy to support your homebirth!
> 
> Woo hoo! So it just goes to show that with a supportive team of midwives you can definitely still have a home birth!
> 
> I will be 37 weeks on Monday, but hoping this little one hangs around until after my sister's wedding on 26th April. Will keep you all posted on how it goes!

Excellent news! im so happy for you!


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## MrsTurner2012

SammyJ said:


> Well got the results of GTT from midwives and all was normal - no gestational diabetes here. The midwives told me that they had a plan in place, but to go along with consultant for timebeing.
> 
> The next step was going to the consultant today for the results - they were normal and it was like seeing a different woman. She said, it's good news the results were normal and I've spoken to your community midwife team and I am completely happy to support your homebirth!
> 
> Woo hoo! So it just goes to show that with a supportive team of midwives you can definitely still have a home birth!
> 
> I will be 37 weeks on Monday, but hoping this little one hangs around until after my sister's wedding on 26th April. Will keep you all posted on how it goes!

Brilliant news!

I bet you feel on top of the world!


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## MandaAnda

How are you all?

Just to say, my BMI was 32 at my booking appointment. The midwife said she'd need to refer me to the consultant as a result. I asked why. She said it is in their new guidelines (was the same weight with booking for my angel in September and in 2009 for my son without it triggering a referral). She said the consultant would discuss healthy eating options, etc. I reassured her that I know how to eat well, usually do, had lost half a stone before BFP and have a very fit military hubby that can keep me in check. I declined the referral.

I just wanted to share that so that you're aware that these referrals are optional. You can decline or accept future ones. The same with GTT (if you've no indication of GD, what are you looking for? research how it works, if it's reliable, etc.) and weight guesstimation scans (those scans are often very out).

I wish you all the best whatever choices you make but thought I'd share as well as someone who is also considered high BMI.

Oh, and this is worth a read: https://homebirthersandhopefuls.com/can-i-still-have-a-homebirth/high-bmi/


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## MrsTurner2012

When I saw my midwife last week she said the door isn't shut for my HB but we can't make any deacons until nearer the time so I have to just be patient! :0(


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## summer rain

MandaAnda said:


> How are you all?
> 
> Just to say, my BMI was 32 at my booking appointment. The midwife said she'd need to refer me to the consultant as a result. I asked why. She said it is in their new guidelines (was the same weight with booking for my angel in September and in 2009 for my son without it triggering a referral). She said the consultant would discuss healthy eating options, etc. I reassured her that I know how to eat well, usually do, had lost half a stone before BFP and have a very fit military hubby that can keep me in check. I declined the referral.
> 
> I just wanted to share that so that you're aware that these referrals are optional. You can decline or accept future ones. The same with GTT (if you've no indication of GD, what are you looking for? research how it works, if it's reliable, etc.) and weight guesstimation scans (those scans are often very out).
> 
> I wish you all the best whatever choices you make but thought I'd share as well as someone who is also considered high BMI.
> 
> Oh, and this is worth a read: https://homebirthersandhopefuls.com/can-i-still-have-a-homebirth/high-bmi/

I had the same type of booking midwife with my last baby, in that NHS trust the BMI cut off was 35 and I think I was just under 30 so not even in their grey area of between 30 and 35. The booking midwife was a right cow and guessed my weight as being at a level where my BMI was about 23 as that is what I looked like; when I was honest and told her what it was she totally switched on me saying I would have to see a specialist dietician as I needed to know how to eat healthily in pregnancy as clearly I didn't know. Also I shouldn't have got pregnant to begin with but 'too late now'. She also said because I had suffered from depression in the past I was at high risk of suffering from severe depression during pregnancy even though I hadn't in any of my other pregnancies nor had I suffered from PND so she said she'd have to refer me to a special psychiatric team for pregnancy whom I later found out are usually those that women with serious ongoing mental health problems are referred to. She then said I was even higher risk as one of my children had been born close to 10lb but he wasn't over 10lb which was the risk cut off. She point blank refused to not put the referrals through but said if one of the other midwives decided to change it then that was up to them. Thankfully the hospital midwife at my 16 week appointment scribbled it all out right away saying it was ridiculous and if anything I would be told I was wasting the various consultants' time and that would be unfair. I was still bullied into having the GTT though :( Thank God they changed the NHS trust boundaries because the one I am under now it is 100% optional whether you have the GTT, get referred for anything and they don't class you as high risk based on taking single factors in isolation xx


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## MandaAnda

MrsTurner2012 said:


> When I saw my midwife last week she said the door isn't shut for my HB but we can't make any deacons until nearer the time so I have to just be patient! :0(

Well, it's a good thing you don't have to wait on her to make your own decisions. And it's a good thing that she can only advise, not decide for you. :thumbup: xx


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## irish_cob

My BMI was 37 at booking with both my pregnancies and I went for a home birth even though it was against the obstetrician's ideas and the community midwives who came on the day were amazing, didn't mention my weight at all. I had to transfer for an emergency section in the end but that was nothing to do with my weight either, it was because of fetal mal positioning, she'd got stuck basically. So don't let your weight be used as a weapon against you, it's always your decision.


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## MrsTurner2012

Hey ladies! 

I've decided I am defo going ahead with the HB! 

If I have to be transferred to hospital then so be it but I'd rather stay at home and be with the family afterward instead of being stuck in hospital all alone! :0) 

Just need to get the Ok off consultant & midwife!

My midwife is supporting me though so when we have to go higher she'll have my back :0)


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## MandaAnda

Very excited for you. Just remember that the consultant and midwife can advise. You're the only one who can ok anything. :) I can't remember if I linked this before, but you'll find lots of support here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/HomeBirthersAndHopefuls/


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## MrsTurner2012

Brilliant thanks! I've requested to join :0) 

Told hubby this morn as well and he is in full support!


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## MrsTurner2012

Have my growth scan a week on weds and an appointment with the consultant who I need to plead with to support my HB.

At my 32 week midwife appointment she said there is no reason really other than BMI that should stop me.

I tried to diet though & eat healthy to control weight and then ketones showed up in my wee so I'm back to snacking because I'm scared ill hurt baby! 

We shall see anyway! I'm just keeping everything crossed


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## MandaAnda

Hun, please be aware that those growth scans can be very out! And you don't *have* to attend the scan or the consultant appointment. If you choose to, that's one thing. But it's your decision. If you make the informed choice to decline the scan and/or consultant appointment, they still have a duty of care to you to attend you at home when you call them in labour. ((Hugs))


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## MrsTurner2012

I did consider not going incase they got the measurements out bit then do I not look a bit irresponsible?

I hate this constant battle!


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## MandaAnda

Not if it's an informed choice. Do YOU feel like that would be irresponsible? If you feel it isn't needed and could cause more stress, you may choose to decline. They offer it to you as their recommendation. You're not forced to do it, although they can make it feel like we don't have a choice. Join this group and have a chat hun. https://www.facebook.com/groups/HomeBirthersAndHopefuls/ There are all sorts of home birther hopefuls in there with a variety of backgrounds, quite a few doulas and a few midwives even. It's a safe space and a wealth of info. xx


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## MrsTurner2012

I've joined already. Great group. 

I'll speak to my husband about it this week.

I'm not huge and highly doubt it's going to be a big baby. 

I don't wanna piss anyone off though at the same time! Want full support.

I know the consultant is going to put a dampner on HB again but as long as I'm prepared for that and an just try and ignore it I should be ok! 

Just have to re convince the hubby!x


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## MrsTurner2012

Just had a call from the hospital to say my consultant appointment has been cancelled. 
I still have my scan and then see a midwife. I'm hoping she will be able to give me an answer and get me discharged from consultant care!


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## irish_cob

I would not go. I'm disgusted with some of the treatment I've had from the NHS over the last 21 months and so I'm turning away from them more and more this pregnancy. I'm pregnant, not ill. I've switched midwives to a onetoone midwife which is brilliant because my scan is at their business centre, not a hospital and my MW will be there so we can discuss any issues raised immediately rather than have to be sent home and wait for a consultant appt. I've already declined one consultant appt and unless I really need to see an expert, say there are abnormalities identified in the baby then I would see a specialist but otherwise I won't. I'm declining the GTT too. Why does it matter if they think you're irresponsible? As long as you're happy with your decisions, that's what matters. They can't do anything to you. As long as you are not mentally insane you are entitled to make your own decisions about your body and that includes your pregnancy xx


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## MrsTurner2012

Thank you. 

They can't stop me from having my HB so i am going to plough on through with that as my choice. 

No matter the outcome of the scan (I'd like to see my boy again so going to have it for selfish reasons) ill still push for it.

I don't think I've come across one person who's scan has been accurate so ill take results with a pinch of salt.

Ill update next week 

Thanks again x x


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## MandaAnda

Best wishes. Thinking of you!


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## MrsTurner2012

Had my growth scan... 95th percentile.

I had a good cry at the dr. She was a bitch. 

Luckily hubby was was there to back me up & fight my case for me! 

But still they are only advising against a HB due to BMI which I'm not taking as an excuse so currently still pushing ahead with HB!

Seeing MW today to hopefully start the process!


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## bathbabe

:) good luck!! x


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## MrsTurner2012

Midwife was really supportive and agrees with me so has set up a meeting with consultant midwife next week for a review. 

She seems really positive and its made me the same.

She also said that ill get my homebirth no matter what they say next week as they are obliged to attend when I am in labour.

I didn't want to just do that but now she has sort of winked winked me i know she thinks I am fine for a HB even if she can't say it in so many words.

That's all I've wanted from the start and it feels good


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## irish_cob

Good for you :)


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