# Feeling guilty about drinking while TTC



## vikster

I just need to get a few things off my chest and I know you girls will be able to help me.

This is our first month TTC and I can't help but feel guilty about drinking incase I fall pregnant and don't know straight away. I am not a big drinker and don't drink in the week but will have wine at the weekends. We don't go on big drinking nights out but like going out for meals and entertaining/having friends and family round at the weekends so will open a bottle then. You hear so much negative info about harm alcohol can cause in the first three months so I am stressing that I could cause harm unintentionally. I think the fact that my AF has been all over the place doesn't help how I am feeling because I wouldn't have the usual two week wait like others would have when TTC to look out for AF being late etc. I feel like I wouldn't know if I was preggo and if I was there is no way I would carry on drinking.

I feel like my lifestyle is healthy, I eat healthily and exercise regularly, have cut down in coffee and tea drinking and have been taking folic acid for the last two months. I have been making concious efforts to prepare for TTC and making sure that I am giving my baby a healthy environment to grow in makes me feel good but at the same time I don't want to give up having a few glasses of wine or the odd bottle at the weekend. No one can predict how long TTC will take and I guess I just feel confused and torn. 

Sorry for the rant, if anyone can help or share advice it would be much appreciated xx


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## NurseSooz

I feel like that too. I'm not a big drinker either but I like wee drink at the weekend with my meal or the odd G+T. I guess there's so many women that get pregnant because they're drunk(!). Some women end up conceiving if they've had an evening put cos they're relaxed! There's plenty of women who don't find out they're PG for 4wks or so cos they didn't know and they've been drinking and eating the wrong things. I can't see the problem. To be honest some advice says the very occasional glass of wine in pregnancy is fine - its just that most of us choose to go teetotal. You don't want to take the fun out of TTC. I guess it's just being sensible. I know that wasnt much help...more of a brain dump...sorry!


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## AnneBurg

When I was younger and I'd have a pregnancy scare (e.g. AF late by one day!) I'd tell myself "well, I've been drinking so I couldn't possibly have this child, I'd have to have an abortion." Thankfully I never got into that situation, but now I tend to be a bit more chill about it. I think having a healthy, moderate lifestyle means you can have a drink once in a while, treat yourself once in a while. And if you find out you're pregnant, obviously you'd stop, and in the long run 2 glasses of wine that your fetus may have gotten a whiff of is really not going to make a difference.
I don't know about you, but I know that I am the kind of person (or was) that wants things to be perfect. But as I mellow out with age I am realizing that NO MATTER WHAT I do to try to control things to make them perfect, there will always be problems and hurdles and the unexpected. So if I spend so much time and energy trying to make things perfect, I will inevitably get disappointed!
So in my opinion your approach is awesome; you're being really healthy but also being a normal person, and in the end your future LO will have a great person to look up to.


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## tinkalink

Vikster this is my first month TTC too. I rarely drink so its not been a problem for me to stop. However, I am a tea addict and I love really hot baths. Both aren't too great for baby! 

What I decided to do was research it properly online and find out the facts. e.g. I've bought a baby bath thermometer for me so I know my baths aren't too hot but I can carry on enjoying them! 

I know how you feel though wanting a baby so much but still wanting to carry on your life as you did before! x


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## wwchix

I wouldn't worry yourself over it at the moment. You are actively TTC therefore when you miss AF you will be aware you may have caught on. A sneaky drink a week won't do any harm, especially when you stop as soon as you know. I'm guessing you will find out early on still even without having regular AF, so don't worry :) Some people drink all through their pregnancies and everything is fine, I know its a naive approach to take, but I'm sure you'll be ok for a little drink a week for the first few if it happens.

Worst comes to worst, drink the non-alcoholic stuff :)


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## LockandKey

don't feel bad, enjoy it now, because once you do get pregnant and have the baby, you probably won't be drinking for a looooooong time


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## Pearls18

I seriously wouldn't stress about it, while I wouldn't go out on a bender while TTC I wouldn't hold off drinking completely- you're going to have to stop for 9 months so get in what you can now lol, during the TWW the alcohol will not be passing to your baby, the connections haven't been developed yet you can still eat raw eggs if you so wish and so forth until you get that BFP. I didn't know I was pregnant and got pretty drunk New Year's Eve (not TTC!), I then had a 24 hour stomach bug 48 hours later- neither affected LO x


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## woodr

Hi

My DD was a surprise so didnt have the chance to prepare myself. My period was about a week late but didnt really think anything of it then my hubby suggested being pregnant so did the test and couldnt believe it! i beat myself up for ages because at the weekend i did everything you are told not to:

- went in jacuzi
- went in sauna
- ate pate and nuts
- Drank like a trooper

as soon as i found out i took folic acid and took this for about 4 months i ate well not calorie counting and only drank 2 glasses of champers on my wedding day. towards the end i drank bucket loads of raspberry leaf tea. I had a pretty good pregnancy and a un-complicated labour and most important a perfect baby girl!!

I think your attitude is great and hope you have your possitive result soon


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## bellablue

LockandKey said:


> don't feel bad, enjoy it now, because once you do get pregnant and have the baby, you probably won't be drinking for a looooooong time

absolutely! :haha:


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## goddess25

I don't drink so I don't have this problem but personally if I were actively trying to conceive I would not drink at all...same goes for smoking and drug taking. At the end of the day its still a poison and I don't think its healthy while trying to make a baby. When trying to conceive I follow the general rules and I do not drink caffeine etc either.

This is just my personal opinion and I don't want to offend anyone....

On the other side there are many people who feel that if you have a few drinks every now and then, it should not be an issue. My midwives that I had while pregnant were either anti everything or a bit more realistic and told me that a drink or too is no big deal at all.

I am sure a glass of wine at the weekends would be fine.

I think we are programmed though to feel guilty about it.


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## iow_bird

hi

I felt the same and stopped drinking for the most of the 12 months we were TTC LO#1. Then I got really fed up and went out on a nit of a bender with OH, 2 weeks later BFP! and we have a perfect wee girly! So it can't do that much harm! I wouldn't reccomend a session to try and get preggy, but don't think it can hurt too much to have the odd glass of wine or night out if you want to while TTC as long as you stop once you get your BFP. 

xxxx


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## M3LL

Hello

I have cut down on my alcohol intake and also whenever possible I drink a reduced volume wine as well. There are some quite lovely brands out there. I didn't want to cut out drinking completely until we are definately preggo but I wanted to cut right back in preparation.


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## MalsKerry

Hey Vikster dont feel guilty at all, having a few isnt going to make a difference. When your embryo is that small your blood isnt connected to it yet for like a few weeks so dont worry you wont hurt it at all. Is you have trouble TTC then I would cut the alcohol completely xoxo hope this helps:flower:


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## NurseSooz

I work with a midwife and she said an occasional wine or two is fine while TTC. Everything in moderation. There are so many women that conceive when they go on a bender because they're relaxed! She said not to stress but not to go mad and not to get obsessed with the amount you drink.


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