# Scared that was my only chance... :( UPDATED PAGE 5 (27 Oct)



## kit_cat

Hello Ladies,

I'd like to join you here if you don't mind. I'm 35, 36 next month and have just experienced my first pregnancy and on Monday/Tuesday this week, my first miscarriage. I and OH are gutted but coping with the loss. My biggest fear is that due to my age, if I ever get PG again, it will end the same way. It's weird, but until this happened, my body clock was not ticking anywhere near as loudly as it is now. I'm so worried that I will continue to fail due to being selfish and leaving it until now. 
Does anyone else feel the same or am I bonkers?
Best of luck to everyone :thumbup:


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## sukisam

I'm so sorry for your loss :hugs:
Loosing a baby is horrid and it's v v early days for you, I'm glad you + hubby are supporting each other.
You are not selfish at all trying for your first baby at 35 (almost 36!) is completely normal. You body has got pregnant so it can do the same again. Sadly some pregnancies end in a loss. My first baby was stillborn at 24 weeks and I now have a gorgeous 7 + 10 year old (ttc no 4 but that's another story!!)
Your time will come sweetie I'm sure and I completely understand how loosing a baby intensifies the need for a baby. You are fertile after a loss hun and there are lots of ladies on the great site who have got pregnant straight after a loss.
Look after yourself while you grieve + take care 
:dust:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## mogsanddogs

i dont think you are selfish at all,many women leave getting pregnant until they feel they are ready and settled in a good relationship with a good steady life myself included .i had my first at 35 and have been trying for a second ever since and am now 44 and like yourself had a mc.

please dont give up hope as at 36 you are of a slightly increased chance of mc but only slightly yout risk dosent really jump until your over 40 so youve many good years to go .lots of baby dust to you and sorry for your loss many women on here have experianced the same thing and know how you feel and im sure will offer you lots of support :hugs::hugs:


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## kit_cat

Thank you sukisam and mogsandogs for your lovely replies :flower: It sounds like a cliche but it really does help to know you're not alone in your situation. I am normally a really positive person but am struggling with this. (Not the most patient either :dohh:) I am looking forward to my body returning to some sort of normal and getting back to looking forward to being a mum sometime in the not too distant future I hope :)
Good luck and love to all x


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## truly_blessed

so sorry hun. I'm the same only I was 39 almost 40 when I got my first positive test (12 months ago today!) but it only lasted about 8 weeks and missed miscarriage was diagnosed at the 12 week scan (2 weeks before my 40th). I too am so scared I've left it too late and you've got a good 4 years on me. You still have plenty of time, might just take a bit longer and be a bit more frustrating. I'm 3 days off testing for this cycle and so hoping we get a positive but had a negative yesterday. x


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## kit_cat

Thank you truly blessed for your reassuring words. 
The best of luck for later in the week, I so hope you get a BFP! x


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## loopylollipop

Oh Kitcat I know exactly what you are going through..

I had a mmc at 10 weeks back in April. Was absolutely devasted, but the thing I couldnt get over was that it might have been my last chance. It hit me really hard, I not only grieved for the little one I lost, but also for my future chances that had been taken away (or so I thought).

Am now pregnant again, 4 cycles after mc. Not been easy, have barely any symptoms and already been in hospital with a some pain and light bleeding. Both times have bled after :sex: so we are going to knock that on the head completely now. Had a scan which was ok for dates, am waiting for next one in 2 weeks. Am petrified but at least my body has allowed me another chance.

Btw, am 41 :winkwink:

dont give up hope sweetheart it will happen for you again. The way I looked at it was that at least I could conceive, which is getting over a major hurdle. You will see on these forums that this happens to women of ALL ages, not just us over 35s. Take heart and look after yourself :flower::flower::hugs:


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## one4 me2

You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. I am 38 years old, and except for 1 chemical in 2008, I haven't been able to get prego yet. My heart broke when AF showed up, and I thought the same thing as you...will it ever happen again? I don't know if it will or not, but I will keep trying. There are plenty of older women on this forum who have lost 1 or even more, and have gone on to successfully conceive . The only think we can do is keep our chins up and think positive. We are older, so maybe it's going to take longer for us, as difficult as it is to keep trying. :hugs:


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## kit_cat

Thanks so much loopy and one4 me2. Loopy, you really do give me hope and one4 me2, you are so right, there are many ladies on here that have been through so much more than I have and have still gone on to have healthy happy bundles. I'm in for the long haul like you and probably, although not by choice, a bit more wordly wise after my mc. 
Thanks again lovely ladies and good luck :hugs:


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## sunbeam

god no ur not selfish in the slightest hun... i had my 8th at 4o and my 9th at 43 :happydance: so theres plenty of time for u yet :hugs::hugs:


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## Leeze

hi ladies

I can relate to this too. I'm 38 and although it's only our 9 month of TTC I keep worrying it won't happen (every time the witch comes and like today when I got my 3rd BFN this cycle so far!). I got pregnant in June only to miscarry at 5.5 weeks which was really emotional - I keep thinking still "what if..." and "if only"

I wanted to share a story about a good friend of mine who had her first baby aged 40 and is now pregnant aged 42 with number 2 - at about 18 weeks. She has sadly had 4 miscarriages along the way - all around 6-7 weeks - but she managed to keep going and look how it's all worked out for her.

We can do it! Our time will come xx:dust:


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## kit_cat

Thank you so much for this tale of hope - I really need to hear this right now. Our time WILL come!! :hugs:


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## loopylollipop

sunbeam said:


> god no ur not selfish in the slightest hun... i had my 8th at 4o and my 9th at 43 :happydance: so theres plenty of time for u yet :hugs::hugs:

sorry to crash but just had to say what a beautiful family! Love the picture :hugs:

wish i had time to fit in another seven :baby::haha:


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## loopylollipop

Kitcat :hug::hug:

sending you lots of sticky :dust::dust: for when you are ready to try again :hugs::hugs:


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## FutureMommie

You are not selfish at all, I totally understand how you feel, I'm 37 and dh is 48 and we are ttc'ing our first. It just ended up that when we felt like we were ready that we are much older now. It will happen for you, I'm so sorry that you had a mc but don't become discouraged!


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## one4 me2

FutureMommie said:


> You are not selfish at all, I totally understand how you feel, I'm 37 and dh is 48 and we are ttc'ing our first. It just ended up that when we felt like we were ready that we are much older now. It will happen for you, I'm so sorry that you had a mc but don't become discouraged!

Our situations are really similar...I am 38 and my hubby is going to be 46 this year. We've been together a really long time, but we weren't ready to have any children until now (when it seems like we can't).


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## sunbeam

loopylollipop said:


> sunbeam said:
> 
> 
> god no ur not selfish in the slightest hun... i had my 8th at 4o and my 9th at 43 :happydance: so theres plenty of time for u yet :hugs::hugs:
> 
> sorry to crash but just had to say what a beautiful family! Love the picture :hugs:
> 
> wish i had time to fit in another seven :baby::haha:Click to expand...

thank you so much xxx


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## mrsdh

Hi im a newcomer here and saw your post and just wanted to try and reasure you that although your heart has been broken, im pretty certain you get pregnant again . I was 37 when i had my 1st miscarriage and went on to have my little angel at 38. I thought that was my only chance at that age. We are currently trying again and had a chemical in June of this year. I so get what you are feeling but in this day and age many 1st time mums are around your age. My doctor told me the majority of his pregnant mums are now 35 and over. I wish you the best of luck and hope you dont have to wait too long for your bfp.


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## Poppy18

HI
I've been reading your posts & also wanted to say please don't feel lke it wont happen I've been in a similar situation. We tried for a year to get pregnant ( I was 34 ) only to MC at about 7 weeks but 6 weeks later I fell pg again & we have a DD whos nearly 2 my DS is 14 weeks after trying for 2 months ! i'm going to be 38 in dec so please believe in your dreams because they will come true

xxx


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## kit_cat

Thank you so much Mrsdh and Poppy18. Your kind and hope filled words really are helping me. I feel I am coming to terms with the loss but it's hard not to feel that either no more chances will come my way or if they do, it will end so sadly again. I keep reading your posts and all the success stories of those who have been through similar and often worse ups and downs than me and that makes me feel much more positive.
Thanks again for being here - it's very much appreciated.
:hugs: & :dust: to you x


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## animalcracker

You are not bonkers at all. I experienced my first pregnancy in July of this year and my first loss in September. Heartbreaking doesn't even begin to describe the feeling and my heart goes out to you.

The good news is you are younger than me! I am 38 and I got pregnant within 3 months of coming off the pill. My biological didn't start ticking until April of this year (it must have been broken!)

I feel like you do...what if this isn't going to happen for me? We both need to keep the faith!:hugs:


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## inkdchick

Im so sorry hun but please dont give up if its any concellation im 43 and ttc so please there is always a chance and you have proven that you can fall pregnant so take time and it will happen again .
Good Luck xx


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## zelda

I know how you feel. I mc in july and feel I will never get pregnant again . I am 36 and I only met my OH 2 years ago but didnt feel I could try to have a baby too soon in the relationship. Some of us just dont get a choice or the ideal time to have a baby in our twenties. hang in there, I m sure it will happen


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## Seity

The same thing happened to my sister. PG with her first at 35, about to turn 36 and MC. They took a break for a few months and then she fell PG again. This time carried to term with no problems and had a beautiful girl. Then a little over a year later, she accidentally got pregnant again, so now she has two girls having them at 36 and 38.
I never tried to get pregnant until just before I turned 36 and got my BFP just before my 36th birthday. I now have a beautiful boy.
I don't think 35 is late at all for a 1st baby.


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## iamrestored77

Sorry for your loss. Don't give up! Your not being selfish


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## NewToAllThis

Kit Cat,
I too am 35, going on 36 and I also have just experienced my first miscarriage.
Having never 'tried' to get pregnant before, I assumed it would be easy as you spend all your life trying NOT to get preg don't you...!
After 12 months of trying, I could not believe my luck that I was finally pregnant, everything went smoothly and I also couldn't believe I had got to 12 weeks without a hitch and then was told the devastating news that my baby had died at 7 weeks.
I too feel now that maybe that was my one chance - I still havent had AF since the m/c and am panicking that it might not return and I may not ovulate... everything goes through your mind.

Nice to read all these stories of hope though, thanks girls and babydust to you all

:dust:


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## debsbaby

so sorry for your loss. Don't give up hope. I have 3 older children, but am currently expecting my 4th (my youngest is 12) and I am 42 years old...and this was a surprise!


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## Leeze

It's lovely to read all these positive stories so thanks to all who posted these.

I just wanted to add that it's important those of us who have had a m/c the first time (like me too), that we remember that it's a really positive sign that we were able to get pregnant and even though it's heart-breaking when we have a m/c - that it is very likely we will get those BFPs again soon and have healthy and happy babies! Lots of positive thoughts and baby dust to everyone xx


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## Rowan75

some lovely positive posts on here - thanks ladies its so helpful! 

Big hug kit cat - you're in the same boat as many of us and altho it can feel so lonely sometimes it does help to log on here and know there are people who understand - so sorry for your loss :hugs:

fingers crossed for your TTC journey (roller coaster)

:flower:


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## inkdchick

debsbaby you give me so much hope i am 43 44 in dec and am now on soy this cycle my last hope so thank you and i hope all goes well for you and bubs congratulations xxxxx


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## mumof3girls

kit_cat said:


> Hello Ladies,
> 
> I'd like to join you here if you don't mind. I'm 35, 36 next month and have just experienced my first pregnancy and on Monday/Tuesday this week, my first miscarriage. I and OH are gutted but coping with the loss. My biggest fear is that due to my age, if I ever get PG again, it will end the same way. It's weird, but until this happened, my body clock was not ticking anywhere near as loudly as it is now. I'm so worried that I will continue to fail due to being selfish and leaving it until now.
> Does anyone else feel the same or am I bonkers?
> Best of luck to everyone :thumbup:

my baby #3 came just after my 35 birthday and we are trying for baby #4 at 37/38 and my husband is 47/48 and we so dont worry, you are never too old to start trying and like the others have said u are most fertile after a mc i got pregnant twice straight after mc, i have had 3 mc and 3 children. good luck from me :)
https://global.thebump.com/tickers/ttb22a9.aspx


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## kit_cat

Thanks so much mumof3girls. I'm so sorry you have had to endure the three losses though - must have been truly awful for you :cry:

We are intending to try again straight away also - I know you said you became pregnant straight after mc, if it's not too personal, can I ask if everything went ok with those pregnancies? I just have an awful worry that if I did become pregnant straight away, the same horrid thing will happen :nope:

Thanks again, good luck and take care :hugs:


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## serendippy

I think trying to stay positive is the best thing anyone can do. If u see it all negatively then u have a tendency to spiral downwards and i think that can make things worse.

Im 43 and just starting my 16th cycle after getting AF yesterday. The only time i feel like its never gonna happen and ill never be a mother is around this time, when AF shows. The rest of the time im fairly good at keepin a positive outlook on it all. Ive had one m/c which was in august but in some ways i was relieved that at least i cud fall pregnant.

Keep the PMA goin ladies and we will all get there...good luck to u all xxxxxxx


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## mumof3girls

kit_cat said:


> Thanks so much mumof3girls. I'm so sorry you have had to endure the three losses though - must have been truly awful for you :cry:
> 
> We are intending to try again straight away also - I know you said you became pregnant straight after mc, if it's not too personal, can I ask if everything went ok with those pregnancies? I just have an awful worry that if I did become pregnant straight away, the same horrid thing will happen :nope:
> 
> Thanks again, good luck and take care :hugs:

Yes each time i had a mc i got pregnant straight away with a live f/t pregnancy, but straight after a live birth the next time was always a mc but then live again, i swear it was messing with my head, so dont worry chances of it happening in a row are very rare although that can happen if there are underlying reasons, i think i may have a problem holding onto boys, seeing that i have 3 girls and 3 mc, its only a theory at this stage but am trying for a boy now so only time will tell if im right :) good luck hun sending lots of hugs and baby dust towards you :)


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## mumof3girls

serendippy said:


> I think trying to stay positive is the best thing anyone can do. If u see it all negatively then u have a tendency to spiral downwards and i think that can make things worse.
> 
> Im 43 and just starting my 16th cycle after getting AF yesterday. The only time i feel like its never gonna happen and ill never be a mother is around this time, when AF shows. The rest of the time im fairly good at keepin a positive outlook on it all. Ive had one m/c which was in august but in some ways i was relieved that at least i cud fall pregnant.
> 
> Keep the PMA goin ladies and we will all get there...good luck to u all xxxxxxx

you are absolutly right, it is the only way :) keep positive :) although i do understand, it will happen for us all :) im sure of it :)


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## inkdchick

Hun im 43 44 in dec this year and i have been ttc for nearly 3 years, i have had 9 early mmc but i was not going to let it stop me or get me down instead i did a bit of research and found that Soy Isoflavones have helped do many women our age that i would give it a go so this cycle i took it CD2 -6 and had really really strong OV pains, bd for 6 days running up to ov and 2 days after it and according to my temp chart and FF we have a 90% of getting pregnant this month. Im 7dpo today and last night was up all night with nausea to the extent i was gagging and tonight i have it again, and im so tired i just want to sleep at night !!!!!.
DONT give up , explore the internet for Soy isoflavones and fertility and see if you fancy trying it too. Good Luck hun xxx


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## Mom23monkies

Yes Yes!! You are ABSOLUTLY INSANE!!!
LOL OK all joking aside,
No I have felt that way.
Honestly its probably just REALLY rotten luck and you should be able to carry a baby to term just as soon as your ready to try again!!!
I beleive it was you the other day that picked me up when I was down and now its my turn!
Dont give up!!! My Dr said 1 in 4 pregnancies end in MC so the statistical chances of you mcing again are low!
Keep trying and good luck!


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## kit_cat

inkdchick said:


> Hun im 43 44 in dec this year and i have been ttc for nearly 3 years, i have had 9 early mmc but i was not going to let it stop me or get me down instead i did a bit of research and found that Soy Isoflavones have helped do many women our age that i would give it a go so this cycle i took it CD2 -6 and had really really strong OV pains, bd for 6 days running up to ov and 2 days after it and according to my temp chart and FF we have a 90% of getting pregnant this month. Im 7dpo today and last night was up all night with nausea to the extent i was gagging and tonight i have it again, and im so tired i just want to sleep at night !!!!!.
> DONT give up , explore the internet for Soy isoflavones and fertility and see if you fancy trying it too. Good Luck hun xxx

Wow!! That sounds extremely promising....please let me know how you get on :thumbup: And thanks for the words of support. Some days are easier to stay positive than others eh?

The very best of luck to you :hugs:


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## kit_cat

Mom23monkies said:


> Yes Yes!! You are ABSOLUTLY INSANE!!!
> LOL OK all joking aside,
> No I have felt that way.
> Honestly its probably just REALLY rotten luck and you should be able to carry a baby to term just as soon as your ready to try again!!!
> I beleive it was you the other day that picked me up when I was down and now its my turn!
> Dont give up!!! My Dr said 1 in 4 pregnancies end in MC so the statistical chances of you mcing again are low!
> Keep trying and good luck!

Hey Mom23monkies :thumbup:

Thanks for the chuckle and backatcha! And just so you know, I think I am actually a bit barking :haha: but it does make life more interesting :winkwink:

Really though, thanks a million x


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## Mom23monkies

kit_cat said:


> Hey Mom23monkies :thumbup:
> 
> Thanks for the chuckle and backatcha! And just so you know, I think I am actually a bit barking :haha: but it does make life more interesting :winkwink:
> 
> Really though, thanks a million x


LOL I thank you much!!!!
And honestly I beleive that if you dont stay a little crazy you will most likly go COMPLETLY insane!!!
So we can be excentric together 
:happydance::flower::haha:


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## kit_cat

Mom23monkies said:


> kit_cat said:
> 
> 
> Hey Mom23monkies :thumbup:
> 
> Thanks for the chuckle and backatcha! And just so you know, I think I am actually a bit barking :haha: but it does make life more interesting :winkwink:
> 
> Really though, thanks a million x
> 
> 
> LOL I thank you much!!!!
> And honestly I beleive that if you dont stay a little crazy you will most likly go COMPLETLY insane!!!
> So we can be excentric together
> :happydance::flower::haha:Click to expand...

LOL - It's a deal :happydance:


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## Mom23monkies

~runs round doing the crazie dance~
Sure it causes a few strange glances 
but its just cuz you know they wanna join us hahaha


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## kit_cat

Hey Lovely Ladies :flower:

I just wanted to bump this up as I was the OP. I have just got my BFP!!!! I turned 36 on the 17th October, so please lovely 30/40 something ladies, don't give up!!!

Please keep your FX'd for this one to stick.

Love, luck and :dust: to you all x


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## mrsdh

kit_cat said:


> Hey Lovely Ladies :flower:
> 
> I just wanted to bump this up as I was the OP. I have just got my BFP!!!! I turned 36 on the 17th October, so please lovely 30/40 something ladies, don't give up!!!
> 
> Please keep your FX'd for this one to stick.
> 
> Love, luck and :dust: to you all x

Congratulations kit cat!!!!!! I'm so pleased for you :) wishing you a healthy 9 months, hope it won't be long before we join you :) take care xx


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## Nikki Leigh

That's wonderful to hear a success story, especially by the OP.


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## kit_cat

Thanks Mrsdh and Nikki Leigh :flower:

Look forward to you joining me :thumbup:

Good luck x


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## Mom23monkies

kit_cat said:


> Hey Lovely Ladies :flower:
> 
> I just wanted to bump this up as I was the OP. I have just got my BFP!!!! I turned 36 on the 17th October, so please lovely 30/40 something ladies, don't give up!!!
> 
> Please keep your FX'd for this one to stick.
> 
> Love, luck and :dust: to you all x

OMG OMG OMG OMG ~jumps up and down~
Thats SOOO fantastic!!!!!!!!!!
:dust::happydance::hugs::dust:
I am soooo happy for you!!!!!!!!


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## zimmy

Awesome news!!!


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## Janie66

kit_cat said:


> Hey Lovely Ladies :flower:
> 
> I just wanted to bump this up as I was the OP. I have just got my BFP!!!! I turned 36 on the 17th October, so please lovely 30/40 something ladies, don't give up!!!
> 
> Please keep your FX'd for this one to stick.
> 
> Love, luck and :dust: to you all x

This is fantastic news  actaully what I needed to read logging on here tonight, Ive had such a shit day, soooo low too, Im 44 tho, so I know my Bio clocks lot slower in catching a good egg than yours :-( but i LIVE in HOPE xxxx please let that baby dust fall down on me

FX crossed for you too xxx


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## baby05

Congratulations! I am also in my 30's and love to get good news like this from people who understand!
:happydance:

Fingers and toes crossed that this one sticks!


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## FutureMommie

That is so awesome, Congrats!!!


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## inkdchick

congratulations Kitkat thats awesome news well done you H & H 9 months coming your way xxx


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## kit_cat

Janie66 said:


> kit_cat said:
> 
> 
> Hey Lovely Ladies :flower:
> 
> I just wanted to bump this up as I was the OP. I have just got my BFP!!!! I turned 36 on the 17th October, so please lovely 30/40 something ladies, don't give up!!!
> 
> Please keep your FX'd for this one to stick.
> 
> Love, luck and :dust: to you all x
> 
> This is fantastic news  actaully what I needed to read logging on here tonight, Ive had such a shit day, soooo low too, Im 44 tho, so I know my Bio clocks lot slower in catching a good egg than yours :-( but i LIVE in HOPE xxxx please let that baby dust fall down on me
> 
> FX crossed for you too xxxClick to expand...

Hey Janie, thanks so much :flower:

I also thought you might be interested to know that my sister who will be 40 in Feb 2011 is just completing her 1st Tri! It's her first child and they were very lucky to get their BFP within 2 months of trying. There is ALWAYS hope and I wish hard for you that your dreams come true very soon.

Much love, luck and :dust: sent in your direction x


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## susan36

massive congrats , im 36 37 in 2 weeks so this give me hope , happy and healthy 9 months :flower:


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## wannabemum123

Aww don't worry, your time will come. You are quite young in my eyes. Mariah Carey has just announced her pregnancy at 40 and she experienced a miscarrriage, a while back. 

What they do say is start trying straight away as your chances of getting pg are greater. So good luck.


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## NewToAllThis

Congrats!
Gives us all a bit of hope

:dust:


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## Janie66

kit_cat said:


> Janie66 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kit_cat said:
> 
> 
> Hey Lovely Ladies :flower:
> 
> I just wanted to bump this up as I was the OP. I have just got my BFP!!!! I turned 36 on the 17th October, so please lovely 30/40 something ladies, don't give up!!!
> 
> Please keep your FX'd for this one to stick.
> 
> Love, luck and :dust: to you all x
> 
> This is fantastic news  actaully what I needed to read logging on here tonight, Ive had such a shit day, soooo low too, Im 44 tho, so I know my Bio clocks lot slower in catching a good egg than yours :-( but i LIVE in HOPE xxxx please let that baby dust fall down on me
> 
> FX crossed for you too xxxClick to expand...
> 
> Hey Janie, thanks so much :flower:
> 
> I also thought you might be interested to know that my sister who will be 40 in Feb 2011 is just completing her 1st Tri! It's her first child and they were very lucky to get their BFP within 2 months of trying. There is ALWAYS hope and I wish hard for you that your dreams come true very soon.
> 
> Much love, luck and :dust: sent in your direction xClick to expand...

Hey Kit x,

Thats even more great news re your sis  Makes me feel like im not out of the race just yet then xxx :happydance: I do have two older daughters, acutally its my daughters 14th today.....Hope your well ? xxx and enjoying that pregnancy, good excuse to put your feet up etc :thumbup: lol


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## babyanise

:happydance::hugs:


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## ciarhwyfar

Congratulations!

Before you know it, you will be holding that little one and then we will see you back for #2!! :flower:


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## inkdchick

come on girls more bfp's needed here lets follow kit_cat's lead xx


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## seoj

I just read your update... Congrats!!! That is amazing news hun!!!! Yay you! hehe. 

Sending us all your baby ju ju girl ;)


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## wannabemum123

Congrats.


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## Alibobs

Congratulations! Its great to hear success stories and gives us all hope that we'll be joining you soon! :yipee::yipee::yipee:


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## ciarhwyfar

Congratulations!! May everything go your way on this one.


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## 40s Gal

Yay for you kitkat! So exciting! :D


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## Rowan75

congrats kit kat - wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy and a lovely healthy baby x


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