# I may as well be single. Update page 4.



## rainbows_x

At least then I wouldn't have to rely on a twat who does fuck all.

I seriously hate him right now, he gives me NO help. Admits he never, and still doesn't want Ava. :cry:

If I had somewhere to go right now, I would.


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## lucy_x

:hugs: im sorry hun

im here if you need to talk :hugs:


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## rainbows_x

lucy_x said:


> :hugs: im sorry hun
> 
> im here if you need to talk :hugs:

:hugs:
He just wants nothing to do with her.
I swear he doesn't love me either. Never seems to give a shit. Not even talking to me, blames everything on Ava :nope:


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## AriannasMama

:hugs:


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## J_Odhran

That's not fair at all hun :hugs: Are you living together? x


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## rainbows_x

J_Odhran said:


> That's not fair at all hun :hugs: Are you living together? x

Yeah, we live with his mum :(


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## lucy_x

its not healthy for him to behave like this,
Does he know how you feel?
do you live with him hun?..
xxx


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## rainbows_x

lucy_x said:


> its not healthy for him to behave like this,
> Does he know how you feel?
> do you live with him hun?..
> xxx

He knows how I feel, I feel like that's all I ever do.
Whenever I cry he tells me to shut up!


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## J_Odhran

Hun that's not right, not only do you need support as a mother, but you need supported as a girlfriend! Does his mum know the way he's behaving? I would speak to her xxx


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## rainbows_x

J_Odhran said:


> Hun that's not right, not only do you need support as a mother, but you need supported as a girlfriend! Does his mum know the way he's behaving? I would speak to her xxx

If I ever say anything to her, she either says she isn't getting involved or sides with him.

I'm sat here rocking Ava to sleep & he's gone to sleep in the armchair :growlmad:


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## J_Odhran

:hugs: Have you anywhere else to go? (Sorry for the thousand questions).. I wouldn't even give him the privilege of living with his little girl everyday, neither of you deserve to be treated that way :hugs: She's lucky to have a mummy that cares for her xx


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## rainbows_x

J_Odhran said:


> :hugs: Have you anywhere else to go? (Sorry for the thousand questions).. I wouldn't even give him the privilege of living with his little girl everyday, neither of you deserve to be treated that way :hugs: She's lucky to have a mummy that cares for her xx

No :(
It's 1am and I have no money.
Tbh I don't think I could ever cope without him, it's silly but I rely on him so much.


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## J_Odhran

In what way sweets? :hugs:


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## Leah_xx

oh hun im sorry!!
What a twat of him!
PM if you need someone to talk to


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## midwestbelle

rainbows_x said:


> J_Odhran said:
> 
> 
> :hugs: Have you anywhere else to go? (Sorry for the thousand questions).. I wouldn't even give him the privilege of living with his little girl everyday, neither of you deserve to be treated that way :hugs: She's lucky to have a mummy that cares for her xx
> 
> No :(
> It's 1am and I have no money.
> Tbh I don't think I could ever cope without him, it's silly but I rely on him so much.Click to expand...

I relied on my oh alot, we broke up and I am going to have to pay ALL the bills by myself.

It scares the shit out of me, but I like the challenge and I will like knowing in a few years that I didn't need that piece of shit to help me live my life. (even though right now i think i do.)

but good luck! :hugs:


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## rainbows_x

I rely on him for everything. I have shit confidence and when I am with him I feel confident.

It's 5.45 am and I'm awake after 3 hours sleep. He just left for work and didn't say bye or anything :( Couldn't sleep as I feel sick so I'm awake even though Ava is fast asleep in bed with me 

I dunno what to do really. I'm going out today and will be back roughly the same time as him.


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## SophieGrace

:hugs: x


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## v2007

:hugs:

V xxx


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## bbyno1

Aww:hugs:
Hopefully he will be in a better mood tonight when he gets home..
My OH sometimes blames things on Aliyah and i hate it! How is anything her fault when she has only been in the world 5 months,not forgetting my OH created her!
Just pass Ava to him when you need help or need to go and do something and he will have to do it x


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## CRWx

:hugs:

xx


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## AriannasMama

I'm starting to feel the same as you...so PM me anytime you want to talk.


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## Sarah10

Sorry your o/h isn't being much help hun, he deserves a kick up the arse. Do you have any friends you see which might help lift your confidence? You sound like a great mum to Ava, i don't see why you wouldn't have confidence :flower: was you under confident before you got with him? xxx


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## MissMamma

:hugs: sweetie I know _exactly_ how you feel. I'm a similar situation (altho I feel bad saying it cozmy OH has been pretty good today) PM me if you want to talk
where are your family? Could you go stay with them for a while?
I have threatened my OH with leaving him three times now, everytime he says the right things and makes the right promises but after a couple of days we're back to how things were I feel like you about relying on him (even tho some days he's an absolute shit waste of space)
I dont really think i've helped have I but just want to let you know you're not alone. I really really hope things get better for you :hugs: x.me.x


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## xSophieBx

Oh hun, this is how I felt when I was pregnant, I knew he was a twat but thought I couldnt manage on my own as I also took a huge confidence knock, well he pushed me tooo far when I was 7 months pregnant and my mum come and got me(we had our own cottage) and I moved back home with my mum, still here now, & lily has everything if not more then she ever would if i'd stayed with him, I still havent had regular maintenance from him, & he will probs b going to court for access etc but I dont care as I have my gorgeous Lily, Have u got a family to help you out? xx


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## rainbows_x

Sarah10 said:


> Sorry your o/h isn't being much help hun, he deserves a kick up the arse. Do you have any friends you see which might help lift your confidence? You sound like a great mum to Ava, i don't see why you wouldn't have confidence :flower: was you under confident before you got with him? xxx

Yeah, but I don;t get to see them much :/
I don't feel like a great mum half the time, I think I had a bit of PND a few months after having her, I think it's starting to come back...
I've always had bad confidence, had cognitive behavourial therapy a few years ago, did bugger all lol.



MissMammaToBe said:


> :hugs: sweetie I know _exactly_ how you feel. I'm a similar situation (altho I feel bad saying it cozmy OH has been pretty good today) PM me if you want to talk
> where are your family? Could you go stay with them for a while?
> I have threatened my OH with leaving him three times now, everytime he says the right things and makes the right promises but after a couple of days we're back to how things were I feel like you about relying on him (even tho some days he's an absolute shit waste of space)
> I dont really think i've helped have I but just want to let you know you're not alone. I really really hope things get better for you :hugs: x.me.x

My family are close, but I wouldn't want to feel like a burden. 
I hope so too, I can't go on like this.

We came home at the same time, he changed Ava without me asking, then put her to play on her mat. He's dgone to the shop now, acting like normal, but I can't :(


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## annawrigley

Oh hun :nope: I'm sure your family wouldnt see you & Ava as a burden if you explained! You say you feel confident around him, but it doesnt seem like he is doing your confidence any good :( Showing you & Ava no love and saying horrible things, doesn't sound like he's good for you at all. I didn't think I could cope/live without FOB but I am :D I'm much happier than when I was with him! He dragged me down so much but made me feel I needed him. I know how frustrating it is having them around but not doing anything (for first 6 months of Noah's life, and when he comes back from Uni he stays with me or I stay at his and he makes me sooo angry just sat there not helping.. Im so much calmer on my own doing it because theres no other option so I dont feel angry at anyone) Whenever I tell him to pull his weight he also throws back the whole "You wanted this, not me" in my face... Which isnt strictly true, he wanted it, i got pregnant, he told me to get rid... which wasnt gonna happen, but thats awful your OH still doesnt want Ava now :nope: I dont know what to say, to me it doesnt sound like a healthy relationship and sounds like hes bringing you down rather than supporting you like he should be, but only you can choose what you want to do. I hope you're ok :flower: xxx


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## rainbows_x

annawrigley said:


> Oh hun :nope: I'm sure your family wouldnt see you & Ava as a burden if you explained! You say you feel confident around him, but it doesnt seem like he is doing your confidence any good :( Showing you & Ava no love and saying horrible things, doesn't sound like he's good for you at all. I didn't think I could cope/live without FOB but I am :D I'm much happier than when I was with him! He dragged me down so much but made me feel I needed him. I know how frustrating it is having them around but not doing anything (for first 6 months of Noah's life, and when he comes back from Uni he stays with me or I stay at his and he makes me sooo angry just sat there not helping.. Im so much calmer on my own doing it because theres no other option so I dont feel angry at anyone) Whenever I tell him to pull his weight he also throws back the whole "You wanted this, not me" in my face... Which isnt strictly true, he wanted it, i got pregnant, he told me to get rid... which wasnt gonna happen, but thats awful your OH still doesnt want Ava now :nope: I dont know what to say, to me it doesnt sound like a healthy relationship and sounds like hes bringing you down rather than supporting you like he should be, but only you can choose what you want to do. I hope you're ok :flower: xxx

I know, I just wouldn't want to stay at my parents, as I wouldn't want to worry them. See, I don't know if I overreact to certain things, wether I just see the negatives and not the positives?
I've had her all day, he's given her one bottle and I'm tryin to get her off to sleep, I've had to put her down and she's full of energy so I am hoping she will self settle, but he doesn't offer help, I was rocking her for half an hour (I rock her to sleep for every sleep/nap, it's the only way she will be put to sleep is rocking - OH gets fustrated, shoves a dummy in her mouth and expects her to just fall to sleep)

Yeah, I know that line well :nope: Constantly, "You wanted her" :(
Some of the time he can be great, playing with her, etc...
I really don't think he loves me any more though, he's sat on the other side of the room, playing Xbox as always :/


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## J_Odhran

Hunni how can someone like that make you feel confident? Someone who doesn't even acknowledge what a great job you to day to day for your gorgeous girl, who doesn't give either of you time.. You are a wonderful person and no matter what happens, you will always have Ava, you are her favorite person, she idolizes you :hugs: Your OH doesn't seem to realize what he's got, I hope he does before it's too late xxxx


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## MissMamma

I HATE THE DAMN XBOX!
why was it ever invented

I think you should stay with your family for a few days, they will not find you a burden, if anything they'll enjoy seeing you and ava. It will give you time to clear your head and really think aboutt things and hopefully your OH would realise how much he misses you both and will get his butt into gear..xx


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## x__amour

I really, really hate that effing xbox sometimes. 
So sorry he's being like that Donna. Everything'll work out, promise.
:hugs:


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## pansylove

I totally know how you feel.. My OH works away most of the time, then when he's back he's "too tired" guh. I'M TIRED TOO. He has a full time job yes, but I have a 24/7 job. I don't get to go back to my hotel and sleep at the end of it all!!


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## newmommy23

thats really messed up! you and ava deserve so much better! have you thought about moving?


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## rainbows_x

:cry:

We are having trouble getting LO to sleep tonight. MIL offered to take her but OH said no, got pissed off & tried to put her to sleep when she obviously wasn't ready.
I got her and started rocking her to sleep, said to OH it wasn't really fair on me that he was going to sleep. So he got up, smacked himself in the head loads of times & said "I'm awake now, give her to me" I said no as he was scaring me!

He then said "Oh yeah I forgot she doesn't love me" I said no, you don't love her, he said "yeah, you know I don't" He has said it before but I don't know if he means it, he said he never wanted her & has never loved her :nope: I said he was sick, how could he not love his own child?!

I'm up rocking LO to sleep & he asleep on the armchair. :(


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## KaceysMummy

Aww hun, how could anyone not love her, she's gorgeous!! 
At least she has a mummy who loves her with more love than she'll ever need, and as for her dad...he'll realise soon hopefully what he's missing out on.
I hope your okay, :hugs:
Here if you need to talk.
xx


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## KiansMummy

:hugs:Oh hun im so sorry i dont no what to say, just keep your chin up for little Ava :hugs: xx


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## Sarah10

Oh :hugs: :hugs:
Ava is completely adorable! He needs a good wakeup call, he has a lovely family with you and Ava, MEN!!!! Is he like this all the time?xx


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## Sarah10

If he is bein so horrible is there no way you can stay with your parents even if its for a short while? like give yourselves some space abit, dont feel like a burden im sure they would love you + ava to stay!


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## amygwen

Awwwwww I'm so sorry, he sounds scary. I can't imagine being in your position, that's awful :cry:


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## xforuiholdonx

This thread brings tears to my eyes. How do you not love your own child. Frig that. You and Ava deserve so much better... so much better.
He'll regret this one day when you pack up and walk out, and HIS daughter ends up calling someone else daddy.


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## Callie-xoxox

:( thats not good at all.
I would try to talk to him.
And if he is going to stay this way leave him
its not worth you or your daughter happiness

SMILEE! xxx.


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## CRWx

rainbows_x said:


> :cry:
> 
> We are having trouble getting LO to sleep tonight. MIL offered to take her but OH said no, got pissed off & tried to put her to sleep when she obviously wasn't ready.
> I got her and started rocking her to sleep, said to OH it wasn't really fair on me that he was going to sleep. So he got up, smacked himself in the head loads of times & said "I'm awake now, give her to me" I said no as he was scaring me!
> 
> He then said "Oh yeah I forgot she doesn't love me" I said no, you don't love her, he said "*yeah, you know I don't*" He has said it before but I don't know if he means it, he said he never wanted her & has never loved her :nope: I said he was sick, how could he not love his own child?!
> 
> I'm up rocking LO to sleep & he asleep on the armchair. :(

How can he NOT love little Ava? :nope:
come & live with me hun! I'll help you with her hehe. I'm so sorry he's being like this for you sweets, you have 1 baby let alone another one & he sounds like because your attention isn't on him maybe he's getting jealous? Like a little kid when it's mums talking to another kid like you're mine not hers :shrug:
Chin up, you have all these lovely ladies right behind you :hugs:


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## stephx

Omg hun... you both deserve so much better! Even if he didnt mean it.. you should _never _say anything that horrible. How could a man not love his own child? Im sorry, I just couldnt be with someone like that :nope:

xx


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## xx~Lor~xx

What a selfish git!!!! He's acting like a spoilt 5 year old that's had his nose put out of joint because you're undivided attention is not on him. Can you talk to his mum or someone in his family about his behaviour? Or even a friend of his that he respects? How he is behaving is totally out of order, and to be honest, frightening! 

Honestly if I was in your situation I would walk my child out of their and stay with my parents for a couple of days until he calmed down. Yes, having a child is hard, and you have days and nights where you feel like you're loosing it, but you cannot behave like he is! Like it or not, he is a father, he has a daughter, therefore he has responsibilities. 

I'm actually sickened that he says he doesn't love his little girl and has never wanted her. That makes my heart ache for your little girl. Even if he doesnt mean it. You NEVER say that. If my OH ever said that about our kids I would be horrified and walk out. She has an absolutely fantastic mother though and that she is so lucky for. You need to take steps to stop OH's behaviour because it's really not on. Maybe he needs to see a doctor. Or definately needs someone to kick him up the backside. A shock of you leaving him perhaps. I don't know.. I hope I have been semi helpful. I really feel for you hun, he is being a complete jerk and he will regret it the day you and your daughter walk out on him. 

xoxox


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## Buggie.

It really sounds like he needs to grow up. I mean honestly, he helped make your little girl he should at least have the decency! 

I do hope you find somewhere to go soon, you do not deserve this.


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## laura1991

is there any change he could have post natal depression, i know it sounds weird but men can get it, FOB got it just after Lily was born,


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## shelx

thats bloody awful!! hope youre okay chick cant imagine how you must be feeling! :hugs: :hugs: xx


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## annawrigley

Thats terrible :nope: Poor you and Ava xxx


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## lucy_x

how awful hun :hugs:


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## J_Odhran

How's things today lovey? x


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## rainbows_x

J_Odhran said:


> How's things today lovey? x

Sorry, only just seen your reply :flower:

They're okay. I am really stressing about trying to move out, and he would quite gladly live here forever. I just don't want to be here when Ava starts crawling, we basically live in this room, and the rest of the house isn't exactly clean. I said I don't want to stay until July, but if we did I wanted to buy a playpen, so no harm would come to Ava, he thought it was unnessacary! :dohh:

I think once we move out there will be alot less tension as I hate it here :/


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## J_Odhran

Ahh I was the same sweets, I lived in my mums until Odhrán was about 7-8ish months, and we practically lived in my bedroom which wasn't fair on either of us.. It can't be helping being so closed in when your OH is behaving the way he is :hugs:.. :dohh: @ not needing a playpen, our LO's are hard to keep up with anyway without there being other things there to harm her, you're probably right hun, you will probably feel a lot better when you move out and then you can hopefully work from there :flower: xxxxx


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