# Blighted Ovum/Empty Sac



## maccy

Just wanted to ask really, as my sack was empty I think that other people think, well it's not that bad, there was never a baby in there anyway you know that kinda attitude. 

I know my husband (although he has been fab) just thinks of it as not loosing a baby at all cause there was no baby no loose, so I'm struggling a bit with my feelings, I'm grieving for a baby that was never there. I feel like I've no right to grieve like others do but I was 11 weeks in the end and made all the same plans as everyone else would, it's sooooo hard. 

I have one of those charm bracelet called lovelinks every charm means something to me and I am going to buy a little star charm tomorrow in memory of my baby, I think people think I am mad but it'll always be with me then :cry:


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## Uvlollypop

big cuddles


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## Emsi76

Hi,

I had a blighted ovum..........ok, so there was nothing in the sac, how the hell are you supposed to know that?? You have the same feeling/feelings as everyone else who is pregnant, hence the sac grows but there is nothing in it!

You have every right to grieve!! You thought you were pregnant!!!

Go buy your little star!

Hope you feel better soon!
xx


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## porkpie1981

As u know macy i was the same as you and got the d & C at nearly 13 weeks as nothing was happening.:cry:
I had people asking "so u werent really pregnant" or "was it a false pregnancy"

I just said yes i was pregnant but at around the 6 week stage the cells didnt form right.

I know the people that asked didnt mean to annoy me but it did. The thing is when i told every1 i was pregnant they couldnt understand that the doctor never did a test. I think mybe some of the older people i told thought that mybe i was never pregnant as the doctor never did a test and i read the test wromng or sumthing:dohh: We all know thats not the case

SOOOOO what im going to say to all us to make us feel better is that WE are smarter and more read up on it as we know the facts


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## GemGems

I had a blighted ovum last year. Obviously i didn't know that there wasn't a baby there until i had my scan. So, for 10 weeks i thought there was a baby there! 

You have every right to grieve and dont let anyone tell you otherwise. 

xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## alyxzandra

Maccy, as far as I am concerned you have every right to feel the way you do. Even if people say there was no baby, it was a baby starting to form and something went wrong. If not, there would have been a baby. You were pregnant as far as you knew. I do not think you are mad at all and would feel the same as you if I was in your position. 

:hugs:


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## golcarlilly

Hi Maccy, my situation is similar, when I started to bleed and went for a scan it showed one empty sac and another, smaller dark area with what she thought was a fetal pole (collection of cells ready to make a baby for anyone like me who didn't know!), We never saw a baby and no-one seemed to be able to tell us what was happening and when I went the week after the smaller 'thing' had gone and the sac had shrunk and still no-one could say for sure what was going on and so we decided to draw our own conclusions - that it should have been twins and they just failed to form properly.

When I told my sister she said ' oh well I would just think that there wasn't a baby, it hadn't formed at all and then you will find it easier' !!!! It made me feel as though I shouldn't be arsed about it or grieving!!

At the end of the day, we were pregnant and had no idea that anything was wrong and our babies just were not meant to be for whatever reason. I think your idea of a charm is a lovely idea and don't feel silly about it, we were planning for our babies just like anyone else and have the right to grieve for them and remember them in whatever way we find fitting!:hug:


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## porkpie1981

I actually nearly died when i found out as i didnt even have any bleeding and was still being sick etc so it was a real shock


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## maccy

Thanks everyone. it's hard though, I'm getting through it but sometimes just break down. It's all about what might have been, my baby was due Dec 3rd and I was already thinking oh it's birthday will be so close to Christmas what will buy for both occasions and I'll be off on my hols just after my 20 week scan etc etc. Still can't believe it's happened to me!


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## Happy

I was asked by my boss at work if i was sure it wasn't a phantom pregnancy!!!! So annoyed and upset about that.


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## maccy

Happy said:


> I was asked by my boss at work if i was sure it wasn't a phantom pregnancy!!!! So annoyed and upset about that.


Arrrggghhh!!!!!! thats exactly the comments I mean! Is your boss male?


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## Visqueen

I feel for you, 4 weeks ago I went for my scan and the baby had died at 9weeks 6 days and it was so hard to deal with. It is just as hard for you, you did not know thats what had happened. Keep strong as the weeks pass you seem to learn to deal with it.

:hug:


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## maccy

In memory of little bubs I got a tiny start charm for my bracelet.

https://www.cblovelinks-uk.co.uk/lovelink.asp?ProductID=343


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## golcarlilly

That is lovely :hugs:


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## charveyron

Oh sweetheart I'm very sorry for your loss - my OH was very much the same, he didn't see it as a baby that we'd lost, although he has been very supportive of me. I think you have every right to grieve, and i think that the star for your charm bracelet is a lovely idea. hope you start to feel better soon :hugs:


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## Happy

maccy said:


> Arrrggghhh!!!!!! thats exactly the comments I mean! Is your boss male?

No she's female which makes it even worse! We have never really been close I am PA to her and the owner (female) wo has been really good. I wanted to phone her when I found out what was going to happen but she was in an all day meeting so I had to let the other lady know and I knew she wouldn't be supportive, she wanted me back at work on Wednesday!!


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## golcarlilly

Happy said:


> No she's female which makes it even worse! We have never really been close I am PA to her and the owner (female) wo has been really good. I wanted to phone her when I found out what was going to happen but she was in an all day meeting so I had to let the other lady know and I knew she wouldn't be supportive, she wanted me back at work on Wednesday!!


OMG people just do not get how bad this all is do they? I am a PA too, my boss has been fairly understanding (suprisingly so since as he hates people having time off!)


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## Happy

golcarlilly said:


> OMG people just do not get how bad this all is do they? I am a PA too, my boss has been fairly understanding (suprisingly so since as he hates people having time off!)

Mine hates it when you have time off as well, she is a slave driver and not understanding of anything. So glad I get on with the owner though, i'm her PA as well.


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## angies1stbaby

I had a blighted ovum ...long story short it was miserable...i was so excited to be pregnant (finally)...so i've read the baby stops developing at 4-5 weeks so yes there is something to grieve...but more so we build up these ideas, dreams of our babies, what they are gonna look like, shopping for things, getting excited for the new member in our family..there is nothing more painful (that i have felt thus far)than going into the hospital excited and elated to hear the heart beat and seeing absolutely nothing but a black empty hole..i had seen on that ultrasound screen exactly how i felt. Thank god it rained buckets that day..felt the world saw it too.
Im sorry for your loss and I understand absolutely.
Grieve as long as you need. 
There is no timeline for that.


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## mummylove

big hugs hun


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## Carmina29

I have had 2 blighted Ovums and I took it very hard since it was my 4th miscarriage. I just feel I was betrayed, it broke my heart to see an empthy sack second time. I wonder what could cause this..since all of my tests are normal. 

I'm so sorry for your losses!


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## Jacobnmatty

Maccy I had the same thing happen to me
On Wednesday this week at 9 weeks to the day I went for a viability scan as I had been bleeding for 3 days.
There was the dark sac and nothing in it.
I was devastated. 
I have two boys aged 7 and 5. This is my first miscarriage.
I feel numb, cold, robbed of my baby.
My DH also says I shouldnt grieve for what was never there.
On Thursday I went to my obstetrician to talk about what happens now.
She examined me and said I was passing what looked like the sac and said she's glad it happened there and not in shopping centre.
I don't know when the baby passed, if it never formed at all or what and I ate the not knowing.
I feel like I will never get over this :-(


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## Kat541

maccy said:


> Thanks everyone. it's hard though, I'm getting through it but sometimes just break down. It's all about what might have been, my baby was due Dec 3rd and I was already thinking oh it's birthday will be so close to Christmas what will buy for both occasions and I'll be off on my hols just after my 20 week scan etc etc. Still can't believe it's happened to me!

 
Mine was due December 5, on my oldest brothers birthday.


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