# My loss max 12/20/12 (long story)



## Maxparedesmom

my story... at 19 weeks and 3 days i went to a ultrasound where they check to make sure everything is ok and growing right.we found out he was a boy and heart his beautiful heart beat.due to the position of my baby i was asked to come back to get a few better pic of his face and a few other things .on this day the doctor again said he was a boy and we again heard his heart beat ..two days later i have a normal doctor ap where they measure ur stomach and use a doplor to listen to the heart beat.as the doctor puts the dopler on my stomach and moves it around she cant find him.this didnt alarm us at first cuz it happend at my last ap since my baby moved so much she couldnt get a good heart beat sound.so she decides to grab the ultrasound machine and uses it .as she uses it and is looking at the screen she turns and looks at me and says "im sorry i dont see any movement and theres no heat beat....i was so devistated,i was alone and didnt know how i was going to tell my husband.i called him crying and had to ask him to pick me up and take me to the hospital where i had to get a more accurate result.i didnt want to tell him over the phone so i just told him to come get me ..we get to the hospital where the doctor doesnt allow me to have my husband come with me ..so again i have to hear from the doctor that i had lost my baby boy that his heart just stopped beating...i get a call from my doctor who askes me what i wanted to do ..in my eyes i only saw one option witch was to give birth to my precious baby..12/19/12 i go to the hospital to be induced ...i was in labor for over 24 hours with the most horrible experience ever..its pretty bad and graffic so i wont write it..for finally 12/20/12 at 556 am weighting 7.2 oz and 10 inch long .we named him Max..after giving birth my horrible male doctor sets my baby on a small sergical table covers him up with a dirty rag and leaves the room...i was so upset by the way this doctor treated me and my son..just because my son was no longer with us did not give him the right to just leave him like that ..we held our beautiful baby boy for 4 hours before we had to give him up..its the hardest thing iv ever had to do ..i left the hospital after being put in the sergical recovery section instead of with the other mothers even though i asked them to treat me like a normal 
delivery..i left with nothing ..it was so heart breaking..the loss is so hard to get threw ..no one ever explains to u what happens to ur body after or how u will still have to deal with ur milk coming in ..all this happened to happen 4 days before my bf and i had arranged our marriage...we still got married but it was a really emotional day..the hurt never gets easier every day is hard...i try to get threw every day one day at a time and be a mother to my 14 month old son...


----------



## davidjoemum

I'm so sorry Hun they treated little Max in such a horrible way! 
I'm sorry for your loss.


----------



## Maxparedesmom

Thank u... I miss him so ..


----------



## Visqueen

I am so sorry for what you have been through :hugs:


----------



## Missy86

I am so sorry for your loss


----------



## oldmamamia

so sorry x sending hugs and prayers from across the pond x


----------



## Becky_Mummy2B

:hugs: so sorry. You may want to put your feelings about the way Max was treated in writing to the hospital when you feel able to do so xx


----------



## Andypanda6570

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

I am so sorry for your loss of Max :cry::cry: My heart breaks for you. If you ever need a friend or just want to talk I am always here, all my love, Andrea :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## inxsmhpy

So, so very sorry :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Maxparedesmom

Thank u to everyone that has posted back.. I am going
To be writing a letter to the hospital on the way me and my family were treated along with max.. It's so hard to do things that normally would make me happy ,They just don't any longer . I have my post app Tom and I'm nervous to go . There's a lot of bad memories there. I already had to ask for a new doctor cuz the one I had was pregnant and I knew I couldn't handle seeing her again. I just hope I can walk in there and get all my test results and get threw the day without breaking down to much.


----------



## TJMYANGEL

hun im so sory for your loss xxxxxxx


----------



## els1022

My heart hurts for you. I'm so sorry. You and Max shuld have been treated better. :hugs:


----------



## NerdyMama

:hugs: I am so sorry for your loss :hugs:


----------



## 3xscharmer

So sorry that the doctor was so cruel to you and your son, words can't express how sorry I am :hugs: to you and hope that you have all the love and support you need to get through the coming months.


----------



## embo216

I'm so sorry for your loss :( I can't believe they treated you and Max like that :nope:


----------



## Maxparedesmom

Thank u to all that have read my story and responded back .. I just went to pick up pic that I took for Christmas with my family . They were taken 2 days before
We found out max had passed away .. It's the last pic I have while being pregnant . It was a little sad to see them but I'm glad I have those Pics to keep in his memory box ...


----------



## maybebaby3

So sorry for your loss :hugs:


----------



## Lottelotte

So very sorry for your loss. I too treasure the photos and scans i have of my babies. 

Max is a lovely name.

Xx


----------



## SassyLou

I'm so sorry :hugs:


----------

