# Regrets?



## Baby France

My little boy was put into part time nursery care from when he was 9 months old. He continued to be in there right up until he started school in September.

I had *some* concerns at the nursery and in the lead up to him leaving, had he not been going to school so soon afterwards I would have pulled him out.

My daughter is younger than him and was at the same nursery for the same time. 

At the school my son is attending, it has a nursery attached and I put her in to do her hours. I then had the decision on whether she should stay in the nursery. They wanted me to continue to pay for full hours due to the time she was leaving the school nursery and I decided to look for a childminder.

They've both been there for about 8 weeks now and I can't lie that they both seem to be coming on leaps and bounds? My little boy and his attitude and behaviour, he seems much more settled and my little girl has really grown in everything and is flourishing from the attention she is obviously getting from her childminder.

I've not long split from hubby and wonder if I'm watching them more but???

I'm starting to feel guilty about why I never trusted my original concerns?

Do you have any regrets?


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## MrsT&Ben

Oh yes I have huge regrets about putting my son in nursery full stop. I wish I could of stayed home with him until he was 3 and then went back to work. We weren't in a position for me to give up work so it couldn't of happened. I just think he'd be a different boy if I had. :( 
If I go on to have anymore children I hope our financial situation if better so I can at least cut my hours right down if not give up work all together. 
Funny thing is I know I'm not cut out to be a SAHM but your child should always come first


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## rosie272

I try not to dwell on it but I would have liked Charlie to go to nursery for less hours than he did so young. He was still a baby (11 months) when I had to go back to work and I do kinda regret that a little but I can't change it. As a single Mum, it was that or a life on benefits which just couldn't happen - I couldn't survive on benefits alone. I made sure I enjoyed every second of the time I wasn't at work and have cut my hours now and spend loads more time with him in the week and weekends. We're always making new memories together and that's good enough for me - I don't like regrets as there is nothing we can do to change the past. 

Sorry about you and your hubby Babyfrance :hugs:


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## OmarsMum

:hugs:

I have the opposite! 

I regret not sending him to a nursery when he was younger, now he goes to school full time & he's struggling :( it's affecting his behaviour, he's always frustrated & he's becoming so aggressive. 

I loved having him with me all the time, but now I know he would have benefited from the independency & routine. Until now he's very dependent & he struggles when I'm not around xx


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## JASMAK

I wish I didnt have to send my lo to daycare. She only goes twice a week, but at that age, I feel its best they are home. My other two had me as a SAHM, but K didnt ever get that. Although she seems totally fine, I dont want to rush her into being a big kid, kwim?


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## Kate&Lucas

Oh God, about a million.

I'm having mega doubts over changing nurseries atm though. After we signed Lucas up to the one he's in, we started hearing some pretty bad stuff about it, news articles and ofsted reports. We were going to see about sending him to the Catholic school next door but we thought we'd wait a bit and see how he went.Then when he started his personality changed and he kept saying he didn't want to go in because one of the other kids would kick and punch him all day :( one day he came home with a bruise on his face and said that another kid had hit him in the face with a toy, and the teacher just told him to play elsewhere (I don't pick him up so didn't see it til hours later). He kept asking me if he could go to the school next door as the kids looked friendlier and the toys in his nursery were all broken.
I had a major wobble and without even speaking to the school about it I marched down to the Catholic school (which, to be fair, is a much better school by the looks of it), and got him a place in their nursery. He starts on Thursday, and now he hates me because the boy who was picking on him doesn't go near him anymore and he's made lots of friends at his nursery now, he doesn't want to move :(
Plus he'll need to be baptised before he starts full-time next year, so I moved him on the understanding that FOB would sort out getting him Catholiced (I have personal issues with the religion and want as little part in it as possible, whereas FOB and his family are all heavily involved in the church) - now he's left it all up to me so I have to go and get that done as well.

I frigging hate being the decision maker :grr:


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## seoj

I think it's called being a parent hun- there will be SO many situations in life, where, no matter what decision we make we will second guess ourselves. We will make mistakes- and hopefully, learn from them. But overall- I think loving and supporting our kids is the most important thing- and what they will remember the most when they grow up. 

I try to remind myself of this when I mess up. Which I do. Not as much anymore- but when my LO was born (2mos later) my Mom was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer- so on top of being a new Mom, I was dealing with concerns over my own mother- how to help her, what to do, how much to do, how much time to see her -- you name it! That stress (plus other things) really put me on edge, I didn't feel the same person for a while... it's not like I wasn't me, but I was me in a much more intense and stressful time. So yea- there were moments I was shorter with my LO because I was already on edge. I was still a great mom- but I do wish I'd seen a counselor sooner and gotten the help I needed. I do think back sometimes and wish I'd known then what I know now... but, have such an amazing relationship with my LO and my SD. I know how blessed I am. I also know I'll make more mistakes as the years go on... but, I for sure know how much love I have for my kids and how much they will feel that every... single... day.... so I just try my best every day, and remind myself of what I could maybe do better here and there... cause really, we are all a work in progress. 

:hugs:


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## Baby France

Thanks ladies <3

xxx


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## hattiehippo

I could have regrets but I try very hard not to - life is too short to dwell on what could have been and the decisions you make at that time were made because they were the right decisions at that point in time.

I could feel sad that Tom went to nursery 2 days a week from 8 months old but I know I would not have been as patient with him if I'd been at home with him full time.


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## Dragonfly

I regret vaccinating. I feel guilty I didn't listen to my gut. Now when I look at my son who has stunted growth from not eating like he did since then I feel like crap. I dont even like taking about it. Never done nursery , dont regret


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## LaughOutLoud

I have regrets and nursery is one of them. Im a SAHM but was living with extended family and things were quite bad. I started DD at nursery shy of 2 yrs old and even now when I remember how she used to cry, it gets me upset.

Theres a few I have. Most others because I had no support and was really just staying afloat but wish I had been much stronger mentally to sort all my issues out because she just got the consequences of it. 

I did, however, love her unconditionally and like crazy. I didnt hold back any amount /ounce of love and I guess thats what we have to remember.


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## Planning Mama

It's really a personal choice. Some parents stand by the decision of staying at home until the children are school age or that one parent always stays home. Others just cannot afford that luxury. I think you really need to decide what will work best for you. Sometimes it can also be better to have an in home daycare that takes on only a few kids rather than daycare providers that have well over 20.


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## Baby France

I don't have that choice anymore planning mama - its about what I've already done.

At the time I really did weigh it up, but I suppose you can look back and really question your thought process and ideas at the time and I think that is where I am.


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## JJKCB

I must be rare because no 

my son was at home with me until 3 year old and then went part time to nursery in the afternoon (1-6pm 3 days a week) 

I felt guilty sending him (like I was palming him off) but actually he loved it

we discovered he dislikes children (having always been around adults which is probably a result of starting nursery later) but then I was the same and I went to nursery from a very young age because my mam went straight back to work and I hated other children when I was little

overall it really prepared him for starting school


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## eddjanuary10

Glad I came into the kids section I was wondering where all the familiar names had gone! Nice to see you all :)

Honestly to this day I don't have any major regrets when it comes to ihsan, I feel lucky to have spent all the time together we have over the years & although I worried when he started pre school part time this year that he may benefit from an extra year at home it's actually turned out good for him as he adores his little friends and time he spends there. We are moving to Australia towards the end of year and sometimes I feel bad that we will be leaving all our family behind and ihsan will be starting school in a new country/environment and really hope that won't be a regret for the future, but we are moving with good intentions and to hopefully make a good future for our family. :) I gave up my career to be a sahm but don't regret it, I hope I can get back into it though but that won't be for a while now since lo #2 shall be joining us soon. X


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