# When does baby outgrow the need to be held when sleeping



## aliss

My boy will not sleep unless being held on my chest or tightly wrapped in his carseat (which I let him for naps). Day or night, doesn't matter. The first 2 weeks he was fine in a crib in the daytime, but now nope!

I know he's extremely young and I posted here b/c I do not care for any "rod" comments, but I am just wondering WHEN your babies outgrew this? He will not even cosleep beside me (again this was fine the first 2 weeks), he must be on me. He is always swaddled although he is happy to sleep unswaddled if on me.


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## MommyJogger

Has your hubby tried putting him to sleep? When mine is in my immediate vicinity, he usually won't sleep unless held by me, but if I'm not there (and occasionally (recently) if he gets comfy when he's not overtired) he'll just sleep fine. Around two months I could put him down after he fell asleep and if he woke up a little, he'd drift back off if he could see or smell me. He found his thumb in the past few days and is starting to self-settle more and more (which is a little sad, actually).
At that age, I could convince mine to fall asleep in a swing going at max power if I needed to do something I couldn't hold him during. Good luck, mama!


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## patch2006uk

Early teens I think ;)

It depends on the baby - my LO was happier to be held while he slept, but he would usually let us put him down in the night. I think generally around 6-8 weeks is when you're out of the new-newborn stage, so I'd hope for some improvement by then :flower:


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## xsadiex

I think when my lo was about 2 months xxx


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## Celesse

DS has been sleeping in his cot at night since about 6 months, but during the day he still crawls up to me gets on my knee and cuddles up with a boobie to go sleeps. And won't nap unless being hugged. He has always been one that will fuss when co-sleeping until propped up on my shoulder being hugged.


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## Mum2b_Claire

10 month old here who will sleep in the sling, on my lap, or next to me in bed after being fed to sleep. Like yours, she wasn't like this for the first 2 weeks, she would sometimes sleep in her bouncy chair. We are seeing small improvements though. E.g she's always woken up when I've left the bed in the night, but I unfortunately had food poisoning on Tuesday and had to leave the bed several times :( but she didn't wake. She has also occasionally fallen asleep in her vibrating infant to toddler rocker thing I use for when I shower. I could probably have tried harder to change this but I cba spending my evenings going up and down the stairs!


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## Srrme

Both of my boys have always been content sleeping next to me, not on me.


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## hanelei

Totally depends on the baby! My LO needed to be held to sleep about half the time until he was about 2 months- he still likes it actually at 19 months, but it isn't necessary any more of course!

Friends of mine though had a very high needs little boy who they not only had to hold for him to sleep, they had to be standing and rocking him too! Finally at about two months he was able to sleep without being held. 

Some babies just take a bit longer to get used to being in the outside world and not being in contact with their mummy constantly. It probably won't be much longer before your LO will be happy to sleep without being held, but it's hard to say.


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## aliss

Thanks girls! He is def. NOT a high needs baby (had one of those already!!!) so I am just curious. His favourite is the daddy neck nustle.


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## lozzy21

Is it sleeping on your chest he likes or sleeping on his tummy? I know its not recommended but what does he do is hes next to you on his front?


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## aliss

He's on my chest, preferably naked with his face on the boob!


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## polaris

As others have said it depends on the baby. Thomas was about 8 or 9 weeks I think when he started sleeping more often in his basket rather than on my chest. 

Clara has been happy to cosleep beside me pretty much from the start and mostly slept well in her basket from about six weeks. But I still sometimes let her sleep on my chest if she's a bit gassy.


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## Stellae

We had trouble around this time too, finally at our wits end we bought a Rock and Play Sleeper and he could sleep alone :)


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## Casey3

Our LO was like that, never napped away from us and spent the evenings on us but he would finally sleep an hour or two at a time alone starting at like midnight, wake for feeds and go back to sleep (most nights haha) and repeat til around 9am. Most nights took SEVERAL tries to make him sleep in the bassinet (always laid down asleep, just wouldn't always stay asleep!) but he's usually cave around midnight and stay asleep for a short period. This went on til he was about 5ish months where he'd be willing to go to bed earlier and didn't need to be held all evening. 

He STILL sleeps with us during the day and will not nap alone, unless in the car seat or stroller.. Needs a boob to fall asleep, but if I leave my OH cuddled against him I can slip away after he unlatches which I do occasionally. And we part time bed share due to frequent wakings, easier to leave the boob for him to self-serve haha. I don't believe in the whole 'rod for your back' thing either.. he'll sleep when he's ready and I don't really care when that is :thumbup:

Can you swaddle him and put him in one of those wedge positioners so he's snug as a bug? It sounds like he likes tummy sleeping much better.. that's difficult when they're 'suppose' to be on their backs :hugs:


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## shelleyanddan

i'm in the same boat! stalking for replies :)


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## charlie15

Me too, good to see what others have done now stalking


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## mistyscott

James was like this and slept on dh's chest until he was 10 wks or so, also being held by one of us for all his naps. He hated being swaddled but woke himself up with the startle reflex and only re settled if being held :) 

I thought you meant your older boy when I first read your post! :)


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## aliss

mistyscott said:


> James was like this and slept on dh's chest until he was 10 wks or so, also being held by one of us for all his naps. He hated being swaddled but woke himself up with the startle reflex and only re settled if being held :)
> 
> I thought you meant your older boy when I first read your post! :)

:rofl: Oh good grief, he is 41lbs!!! LOL!!!!


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## aliss

Thanks for the responses! We are at 5 weeks now and he is willing to sleep beside me with his head rammed into my armpit (??) so... slowly progressing, LOL.


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## fidget

My lo won't sleep anywhere but the sling during the day. He can be in the deepest sleep ever but if I put him down he wakes within a few minutes. At night he sleeps in a crib next to my bed but refuses to in the day, and if I put him down awake he chatters until he starts to cry to be picked up lol


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