# Question for Moms-If you could go back in time and give yourself 1 piece of advice?..



## Jayneypops

Hi,

To those who have laboured before, if you could go back, and give your 'pre-labour' self some advice, what would it be?

Im 37 weeks and starting to get a bit nervous now! :baby:


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## Kimmy74

Don't listen to others horror stories, everyone is different and its not that bad.


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## rockabillymom

Know what you do and dont feel comfortable with. I had a nurse I didnt like at all who was so rude it made things more stressful for baby number 2 that wont be happening.


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## RubyLouise

I'd tell myself not to be so scared.

I regret getting so nervous ( I was induced) I think it took some of the specialness away.


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## loopy loulou

You're going to poo! Get used to the idea! The idea of it really hindered my early pushing as I was so worried about it. But if it's gonna happen, there's nothing you can do about it. They've seen it all before:wacko:


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## PipPlus3

Relax! Yes it hurts, but the more relaxed you are the better the contractions work, therefore there are less of them lol. Your body is designed to do this so listen to it. Oh and keep an open mind. You are not a failure if you ask for pain relief!!!!


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## disneyleanne

To be as upright and mobile as possible and to spend as little time as I can laying down on the bed.:flower:


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## oread

I would tell myself to have a home birth, or at least labor at home as long as physically possible


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## fairy1984

I would not beat myself up about having pain relief after 15 hours of back to back labour. I would say "take the drugs!" if you get back to back.


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## kim'sbump

Stay calm and trust your instincts.


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## 17thy

I would say "Don't you dare do that induction, it's not necessary and you know it, I know you want the baby 'now' but you can wait until she's ready"


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## sequeena

Try not to freak out as much. I wish I'd not been so panicky at the end of my labour, I was just scared and didn't know what to do.

Oh and SLEEP!! I was in early labour for 3 days before I gave birth, I was exhausted!!


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## stardust599

I would tell myself to say no to induction. And to focus and listen to my body. And not to be scared!


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## DaretoDream

i don't know about the back to back labor needing meds- i had it, and i didn't get drugs. 

But- anyway- 

I don't have too much advice for myself because everything went as i wanted- BUT, i would def go along with do NOT let people visit me in the hosp. We only had a few but seriously? i was so exhausted. I would put my foot down- who cares who it offends! i just pushed a watermelon out of my hoo ha! it's not like she's going to freaking disappear if you dont' see her immediately!


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## fairy1984

DaretoDream said:


> i don't know about the back to back labor needing meds- i had it, and i didn't get drugs.
> 
> But- anyway-
> 
> I don't have too much advice for myself because everything went as i wanted- BUT, i would def go along with do NOT let people visit me in the hosp. We only had a few but seriously? i was so exhausted. I would put my foot down- who cares who it offends! i just pushed a watermelon out of my hoo ha! it's not like she's going to freaking disappear if you dont' see her immediately!

THIS! (aswell as my other one hehe)


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## sweetcheeks78

disneyleanne said:


> To be as upright and mobile as possible and to spend as little time as I can laying down on the bed.:flower:

^wss. Not that I had much choice but I'd know the impact of staying on the bed in future.


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## Elliefantasy

stay in hospital as long as you can afterwards. I had LO at 7.12am and wanted to come home that night, which I was allowed to do. But I hadn't quite got the hang of breastfeeding by then which caused a lot of problems afterwards and also I didn't get the results of LO's cord blood sample which meant I had to go back a week later to have the second anti D injection.

Also disposable pants are a must must for your hospital bag. I was a bit dubious but you bleed A LOT during the first 3-5 days and its nice to think that you're not ruining your own underwear.


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## mummytogeorge

I would make a stand at the hospital, they didnt seem to want to hear about my birth plan and everything was a flat no, I lost count of the amount of people feeling the need to give me internals, I wasnt able to move from the bed, no one seemed to listen to me or my husband and even then after the birth. I ended up with a third degree tear and surgery, this time I am hoping for a nice relaxed birth at home which is what I wanted last time but I stupidly listened to other people and let them talk me out of it - only way I can guarantee that I dont end up with the same experience as last time =S


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## chuck

Get a doula!!!

Your husband will be effing useless and you need a woman to protect your birth space!!!


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## emilyjade

Dont listen to everyone who puts their 'awful experience' of birth upon you! I loved both of mine and my second was induction and it seriously wasnt that bad! Good luck! x


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## Kage76

Not to get hung up on an ideal birth experience or breast feeding experience. Next one im going to give BFing a go but i am not going to put myself through hell and push the envelope of PND to give my baby breast milk. If it works great- if it doesn't well thats more than ok too.


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## CatandKitten

Do perineal massage!


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## bumphenders

I love this thread! Following.

:flow:


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## Jayneypops

Thank you all for your replies, its really interesting - and useful!!

I feel confident that i will be able to stick to my guns when the times comes and wont let myself be 'led' by medical staff. I want as natural a birth as possible at home, and fingers crossed thats what Ill get!


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## Scuba

I'd hire a doula if funds had allowed!! My midwife was fantastic but everytime she left my side I started to panic and couldn't cope! With a doula I'd have had that constant knowledge and reassurance - my hubby was there and tried his best but comparatively I needed my midwife more than him for reassurance!xx


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## cupcakemomma

Don't care about what other people think. I applaud you for wanting to go all natural, but if you end up needing pain meds, please don't beat yourself up over it.

I am a very easy-going people-pleaser in life, generally. But I have some family members who made it obvious that they would think less of me for not being an 'All Natural' type mom. But you know what? I choose not to look down on myself for getting an induction, or an epidural, or using disposable diapers instead of cloth. I have a healthy happy baby, and had a fairly pleasant birthing experience. 

That's what I would tell myself :)


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## cupcakepie

Not to worry as much!!! 

Not all labours are bad... Go into with an open mind and relax as much as you can!

It is a truly amazing experience and nothing compares to the feeling... one minute your pushing and the next you have your baby in your arms!!!


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## lozzy21

I'd tell my self to not get on that bed, don't let them monitor you constantly, don't let them put the drip up and don't listen to them when they told me to hold my breath when i was pushing!


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## Baby France

As some one said, try to remain as calm as possible and be relaxed and 'open' to the contractions. 

My second labour was so much easier and faster than my first. I was in control and accepted it.

Don't listen to negative horror stories.

Although....I LOVED labour with both of mine. I felt very empowered and a bit like a superwoman after I'd given birth. It was a very very positive experience for me, it did hurt (no surprise eh!) but I just really enjoyed that final stage of pregnancy (I hope that makes sense).


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## XJessicaX

To not presume just because I had the easiest pregnancy that I would also just 'pop' a baby out easily too. It was a huge shock.

To sleep well in the last few weeks of pregnancy and to NOT get up early (typical) the day before I went into labour to tidy up the house.

To SCREAM at the midwives that I was in agony and to force them to admit me. Out of pride I remained calm and this was deceiving.

To not want a baby earlier than the 40 weeks! I was sulking as one of my friends had hers 2 weeks early.......I had my LO a week early and that week was horrid (LO needed UV light therapy due to jaundice) and I just wish that she had stayed inside!


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## Kage76

Another thing would be - let people help. If people want to clean your house, look after the LO for a couple of hours while you get rest, cook you food or do some shopping say yes! no one expects you to be supermum you dont have anything to prove. Pay it forward when someone you love has a baby.


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## M&S+Bump

I would tell myself to trust my own body and make them listen to me - I knew everything wasn't right but people kept telling me what was happening was 'normal'. I was right, they were wrong, and if someone had listened to me to start with, it could all have turned out so different.

Also, while everyone tells you not to listen to horror stories, I disagree. I wish I had listened to more, the goriest ones I could find, then I might not have felt so cheated and like a total failure when it didn't turn out to be all kittens and rainbows like everyone had led me to believe. I wish I'd known just how bad it could get - then if it wasn't THAT bad it would have been a bonus. I'm a lot more prepared this time!


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## mamaduke

There's a reason why it's called labor. At the end of it all, forget the "what if I had done" or beating up yourself thinking you could've done better. At the end of labor is a beautiful LO, and you should focus more on that then on things that could've/would've/should've been better.


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## DarlingGirl

I would tell myself to look more into relaxation techniques and really practice breathing through contractions (as at my antenatal class I never really 'got' the breathing exercise for some reason!).


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## NuKe

"don't get the fucking epidural!!!


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## citymouse

Don't eat the McDonalds two cheeseburger meal! :rofl:

I was induced and we expected it to take 24 hours. My doctor told DH to get me my favorite meal the first night, and three hours later I was in full-on labor. I'll never forget the look on my doctor's face when she heard what I'd eaten. (Of course it all came back up rather dramatically during contractions.)

My "definitely on the list for next time" is my Hypnobabies course. I ended up with an epidural, but thanks to Hypnobabies, my breath control was awesome and pushing was a breeze and a beautiful, pleasant process.


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## Jayneypops

Well, since starting this thread Ive had my little girl!!

If I could go back and tell myself 1 thing it would be keep a VERY open mind!!!
I was dead set on a hypnobirthing, natural home water birth. Then at 40 + 2 Daisy decided to poop inside the womb so I had to be induced and ended up with an epidural. 
I can honestly say though that I was very well looked after in hospital and wouldnt change how it went at all.

All the best laid plans ay!!?
xxxxx


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## hardworknmama

My one piece of advice that I gave myself the second time around was to not have a plan. I can make all the birth plans I want but the baby has thier own birth plan which is most likely going to be very different than mine. Relax and enjoy the ride is really all you can do. 

Congratulations on your little girl!


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## Bats11

Wish i had demanded the epidural, instead of letting the midwife talk me out of it.


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## bodi26

Congrats on your baby girl!

Although I had an elective section, I know for this time round that I'm "allowed" to be opinionated about how I'd like to give birth.

Throughout my first pregnancy, I was ignorant and didn't do any research a such, put my trust completely in the medical staff and didn't really think anything of it.

This time, I'm not being told that as an adult, I'm not "allowed" this or that - this is _my_ pregnancy, _my_ birth and _my_ choice. I will take their professional advice and will make my own informed decision.

Although that doesn't mean I've got a birth plan and it has to go 100% that way because I know it won't but I'm not going to let myself be bullied into a certain labour/birth just because their "policy" says so.

Sorry it's long winded and not something I'd tell myself, but it is something I'm determined to do differently!


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