# Young Mum's Stories for those thinking about TTC



## AppleBlossom

So I keep seeing posts in here and around the forum by young girls 17-19ish who want to start TTC. And I thought it would be a good idea for us already young mummies to tell our stories of being a teen mum from our experience, good AND bad points, just so thise thinking about TTC can get a real insight into what being a young mum entails and just how hard it can be!

So here's mine:

I got pregnant unexpectedly in Sept 07 when I had just started Uni (so I was 18 ) before then I had had a pretty active life, going out with friends and just enjoying being young and carefree. Getting pregnant was a massive knockback. These kinds of things didn't happen to me! But I am against abortion and so decided to go ahead with the pregnancy. Telling my parents was hard but they came round eventually. My pregnancy was fine, luckily. And my labour and birth, although painful beyond words, was quick and straightforward. 
The first few weeks I kept on thinking I had no idea what to do. The baby's dad didn't help much and I felt so alone, our relationship had started to go downhill the minute she was born. I would sit breast feeding her in another room crying because I was in so much pain (obv this doesn't apply to everyone) I went days without showering and eating properly, she was waking up to 7 times a night and for about 5 months I got around 4-6 hours of very broken sleep. She hated being put down and I was scared to take her out when I needed something because she would cry all the way in her pram and people would stare at me. I was jealous of all my friends going to parties and girly nights out when I was stuck at home with a baby that wouldn't sleep. 
Then after 7 months, baby's dad left me. I had to pick myself up and put a roof over my daughters head and make sure I could afford everything she needed. It wasn't just me I had to think about now. But I have to say I have never been happier with her, her dad leaving was the best thing that could have happened to us because I was so down because of him too. I see her smile when she sees me, and when she's playing and crawling... just seeing her learn new things is the most amazing thing and knowing that I made such a perfect little girl is just unbelievable and hard to describe until you have your own.
I do still wish I had waited till I was a little older, maybe mid-twenties so I could have got married and settled down first. And I do still get jealous of my other friends, knowing they can do what they want when they want and not have to pack up a bag and cart a pram or find a babysitter. But now I wouldn't change her for the world :)


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## xBlackBeautyx

BnB does not support under 18s ttc. Nice thread idea but you shouldn't be encouraging young teens to ttc


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## Char&Bump-x

I dont think she was encouraging them, more telling them to wait a bit cos its HARD. :)


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## lauren-kate

Char&Bump-x said:


> I dont think she was encouraging them, more telling them to wait a bit cos its HARD. :)

I agree. Regardless of whether BnB supports under 18s TTC, they're still going to do it (or consider it). I think Bexy was just making them SERIOUSLY consider it, thinking about how their lives would be affected.


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## aSh_x0x

bexy wasnt promoting under 18's to try and conceive...i didn't get that at all after reading that.


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## sleepinbeauty

thank you for sharing your story, OP. It's nice to hear other's tales.

Everyone else--I think she's just trying to say, "This is what happened to me. i'm not supporting or rejecting you, just take what I have to say to heart."

I don't think there's anything wrong with that...


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## LucyEmma

bexy_22 said:


> So I keep seeing posts in here and around the forum by young girls 17-19ish who want to start TTC. And I thought it would be a good idea for us already young mummies to tell our stories of being a teen mum from our experience, good AND bad points, just so thise thinking about TTC can get a real insight into what being a young mum entails and just how hard it can be!
> 
> 
> I think this is a good thread for them to read, she does say here she just wants to share her story so if they do come on to BnB and are thinking of doing that then theres a story here of how it really is. she does say to see how hard it can be aswell at the end, when i read it i understood straight away what she was trying to do. x


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## Promise

Bexy, Thank you for stepping up and taking the time to start the thread! I think you did a wonderful job telling your story and I do believe that it will make teens think again bout ttc. I know you werent encouraging teens to try and become pregnant. Anyways, Thank you!


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## AppleBlossom

xBlackBeautyx said:


> BnB does not support under 18s ttc. Nice thread idea but you shouldn't be encouraging young teens to ttc

I know this thanks, I have been a member here for ages. It was a thread for those who are thinking about it to realise what it's really like and that it's not all just cute babies. Then it's up to them to decide for themself. Teens usually don't realise exactly what they have to give up and how hard bringing up a baby. I am also against encouraging under 18s TTC which is why I wrote this


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## x_Rainbow_x

xBlackBeautyx said:


> BnB does not support under 18s ttc. Nice thread idea but you shouldn't be encouraging young teens to ttc

how in any way is what bexy wrote encouraging this? she knows the rules and she has always stuck by them and warned others. Shes been a member for over a year and is full aware of these rules.
I think its a great idea because it will make aware to teens just how difficult having a baby is and cant be.


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## Connah'sMommy

I agree...bexy is not trying to encourage under 18's to ttc in any way,i have the same sort of situation as bexy and can relate to her story,therefore i can totally understand why she has written this post :)xxx


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## Becky

Thank you for sharing your story hun! I know alot of people think its all a bed of roses but the reality is far from that! Having a baby is so mentally and physically demanding even more so when like me and you we have to do it alone! Its not only not being able to go out you cant afford lovely things everyday things become luxuries! Yes it is very rewarding and a wonderful experience I wouldnt change for the world but it takes a lot more thinking that ohhh babies are cute I want one! x


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## princessttc

aSh_x0x said:


> bexy *wasnt* promoting under 18's to try and conceive...i didn't get that at all after reading that.

I totally agree!!! x x x :hug:


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## esther

Yep totally in agreeance, there was not promotion of underage TTC! 

Great thread though, I think it is really important to be realistic especially to young women. There is no point sticking your head in the sand, because they will do what they want to do regardless. It's good that they can at least read some insight into what life is really like - so it is great that you gals can share your stories!

Great thread xx


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## Shireena__x

Great Thread xx
Didnt Read Any TTC Encouragement xx
i Can't Comment Though As Im Still Pregnant. But A Few Months And I'm Sure I'l Have Something To Write :D xx


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## BurtonBaby

Wow hun, I think this is a great post. I was almost 21 when I had Erica, and I still felt too young, even tho I have a supportive husband who shares responsibilities with me. I hope that other young moms can give their views and opinions on this, because young moms to be, or young ttc'ers should see the real aspects of being a parent.. Not just the romanticized fairy tale version everyone thinks of when they see little babies. 

And good for you Bexy for thinking of this, obv you aren't trying to encourage girls, just give them real life info. :D


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## Elli21

I had Leigha when i was 18, i was 17 when i fell pregnant with her. It was all i had ever wanted, to be a young mum. I fell pregnant with Tom when i was 20 and had him when i was 21. 

Both my labours where hard, 28 hours with Leigha, 9 hours with Tom. Both times i had trouble delivering the placentas...and in both cases i was minutes away from being rushed into theatre to have surgery to remove them. That was the start of the hard work.

I would never be without my babies now. They are my life...but thats exsactly what they are, my life. Yes i do sometimes get to go out, and i still get to be myself. But im mummy first! Elli second.

And im the same as Bex, even though id never change it now, id have waited xx


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## mumtobe25

How was that encouraging any under 18s to ttc - I dont venture in here to be honest as it winds me up as so many young people seem intent on getting preg..

I think this is a brill idea as its not easy having a baby hopefully just one person will read this and maybe think twice then its done its job...well done bexy


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## AppleBlossom

mumtobe25 said:


> How was that encouraging any under 18s to ttc - I dont venture in here to be honest as it winds me up as so many young people seem intent on getting preg..
> 
> I think this is a brill idea as its not easy having a baby *hopefully just one person will read this and maybe think twice then its done its job*...well done bexy

That was actually my aim. That maybe just one person would read it and think properly before making any rash decisions


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## Serene123

I wouldn't change my job for the world, but I'd wait untill I was a little more qualified ;)


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## Laura--x

It made me laugh how someone who has been a member for just over a month tried to tell someone who had been a member for over a year how the forum runs?

Good idea for a thread bexy x


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## AppleBlossom

Laura--x said:


> It made me laugh how someone who has been a member for just over a month tried to tell someone who had been a member for over a year how the forum runs?
> 
> Good idea for a thread bexy x

I had a giggle at that too :dohh:


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## leedsforever

Bexy I think you explained that so well and so lovely... good job sweetie :hugs:


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## Tiana

Is there anybody here who is 17 and have had a baby?


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## AppleBlossom

There are a couple of girls on here who have


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## MrsChamberlin

I love this thread and thought I should share my story... Great start hun... 

I was 16 when I fell pregnant with my oldest daughter Charity. I had just started my 11th year in high school. (I actually found out the first day of school right afterwards.)
Charity's father was happy at the time, glad that I was pregnant. We thought we were in love (haha). 
The night I told my father was the WORST night of my life. He called me things I have never heard, made me call my mother, threatened me, everything. It was a horrible night. Both my parents pushed an abortion, though I was totally against it. Whether it was because I turely wanted to be a mother right then, or just because my parents were pushing the idea I am not sure. Anyway it goes I did keep my daughter.
Through my 9 months I was okay, my parents barely spoke to me, her father and I fought, broke up, got back together, it was a totally mess. 
April 17th Charity was born... and the work began. My life stopped and her life began. Up every 2-5 hours with her, changing diapers, feeding her. I moved in with her father and his mother. Then we moved into a low income apartment... I was working at Subway (haha) and could not work more than 20 hours a week because I was under the age of 18. I dropped out of high school. Can you imagine trying to support two people on a job that pays 5.55 an hour and you can only work 20 hours a week. This was the hardest time of my life. 
Charity's father began doing drugs, cheating on me, he got violent. Then one day I left. I went home to my mom and dads and stayed there for 3 months. I have never been back with Charitys father since she was 3 months old. He could not keep a job so it was me and her on our own.... 
I met my husband when Charity was a year old... and sooner or later everything figured itself out. But the first year of her life I am so glad that she can not remember. 

I would not give up my life now, I am back in college (at 23, almost 6 years after the day she was born), married to a wonderful man who I had another daughter with, and we are pregnant again... But this time, we know what is coming, we know how hard it is going to be, we know what we need to do... 

Charity's father is barely involved in her life now. (Just because he says he loves you and will be there forever doesn't mean he will) She has a wonderful step father, but it doesn't always work out this way.


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## PixieKitty

Tiana said:


> Is there anybody here who is 17 and have had a baby?

Me :) I got pregnant when I was 16 and my son's almost a month old.


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## PixieKitty

Great idea bexy :)

Let's see... I got pregnant at 16, stayed with the 'father' til I was 3 months gone then he attacked me, I kicked him out and haven't seen him since. My parents were both really supportive, although my sister wanted me to have an abortion. In the week I kicked eejit out, I met back up with a group of friends from my school days and saw Dan again. A few weeks later we got together and have been together since. Don't think we've gone more than 2 days apart :blush:
Was an uncomplicated pregnancy until the end, then he was back to back which made for a bad labour, a lot of back pain toward the final month, and turned out he had his cord wrapped around his neck three times so after labouring for 13 hours I had an emergency c-section. 
For about 2 weeks after I couldn't move without pain, the first few days were absolute agony, has now been 3 weeks and it still hurts to laugh/sneeze/cough. 
I love being a mum, and I love my little boy, but it is hard having to wake up in the night, sit up for half an hour and feed him when all I want to do is sleep. And I have a really good baby! Some just cry and cry, poor things, for no reason. Luckily for me and Jack, he's not fussy, only the past few days has been a bit whingey 'cause of oral thrush.
It's not like my old life, where I could just say 'I'm gonna nip to the shops' and off I go. I have to plan in advance, and nothing ever does go to plan, Jack always decides he wants feeding, then we miss the bus, then something else goes wrong... and all the stuff you have to lug around is unbelievable. 
I can still go out and have a good time though, he's got 3 sets of grandparents who love him to pieces and want to look after him, my dad and his girlfriend, my mum and her fella, and Dan's mum and dad all offer to take him in the week. But, I'm incredibly lucky to have the support, I know loads of girls don't have that, or someone as fantastic as Dan who does more than his share of the night feeds, cooks dinner when I'm too tired, and stops me flinging him out the window when he does cry... :p
It's nothing like the movies, they're so lovely at times but at others... well it's draining, believe me.


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## AppleBlossom

Thanks for your stories so far girls, hopefully this will open the eyes of any under 18's who are thinking of TTC and make them realise it's not all cute babies and cuddles!


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## Aria

bexy_22 said:


> Thanks for your stories so far girls, hopefully this will open the eyes of any under 18's who are thinking of TTC and make them realise it's not all cute babies and cuddles!

This is what I hope too, that it will open eyes. If you can't handle working a job that's 60 hours per week, well, parenting is 24 hours per day every day and you have to pay for a break.


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## loopy lucy

i got pregnant just before my 16th. ellies dad beat me up but didnt want to abort. didnt tell the dad straight away due to me wanting to leave. when i left and felt secure, i told ellies dad who said he wanted to be part of her life but i said no after the way he treated me, had ellie which was the worst pregancy ever!! aside all the stress. i was sick most morning, aching, moody ect lol. had ellie and 2bf, was a good birth, 4 hours but very painfulk lol. took ellie home, found it very hard being a single mummy and being awake all hours. when craig moved in, things were a bit easier due to me getting some sleep lol. babys wear you out someting rotten, dont get me wrong, im glad i had her but i wish i had waited a bit even though i couldnt imagine my life without my little monster


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## lorrilou

Great thread bexy.

One thing that sticks in my head is my friend who had her baby at 19, she took him out one night and didnt get home till after 11 and when i pulled her about it her answer was "well im sick of being stuck in the house all the time" and my answer to her was "thats what happens when you have a baby!!" 

I suppose what im saying is that it is certainly no walk in the park, you have a little person that has to take priority over everything in your life. 

I had my 1st at 19, i hated being pregnant, the labour wasnt too bad, bad enough though. I lost touch with most of my friends, they couldnt understand why i couldnt just drop everything and have a night out. Years of sleepless nights, always putting yourself last. I dont regret having nicole and cant imagine my life without her but if i had my time again i would most definately wait until i was older and wiser.


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## mrscookie

xBlackBeautyx said:


> BnB does not support under 18s ttc. Nice thread idea but you shouldn't be encouraging young teens to ttc

lol... Im sure Bexy who has been here ages longer than you knows this...

great thread bexy hun xxx


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## aidensxmomma

I had my first when I was 16, about a month and a half before I turned 17. I had only been with my boyfriend for a couple months before I got pregnant. We have known each other for a very long time though since we went to the same elementary, middle, and high school. He was only a grade ahead of me, and I spent a lot of time with him because he was dating my friend. Anyways, telling his parents was pretty hard, so was telling my family. My grandma reacted the worst, saying I should get an abortion and all that stuff. That was hard to deal with because I am very close to my grandma, and hearing that reaction from her was horrible. Eventually everyone in the family came around and we're excited to be having their first grandson (actually first grandchild on both sides).

I had a very easy pregnancy and labor with Aiden and was truely amazed at what I could do and what I could create. The first couple weeks were terrible though. My boyfriend and I really struggled with getting up 3-6 times a night and not getting all the sleep we were used to. I was still trying to finish school and that wasn't going well either. I was also struggling with my body image. I had already been dealing with an eating disorder since I was 13, and the changes your body goes through during pregnancy and afterwards didn't make me feel any better about myself.

Eventually things started to look up and I enjoyed getting to spend all summer with my boyfriend and my son. I still occasionally got to do social things, but not very often. And things weren't quite as enjoyable because I didn't really have a whole lot of friends left and when I did go somewhere, I missed my son and being at home.

Things were very calm until this last December. I started getting the suspicious feeling that I was pregnant again. When I got my :bfp: I was extremely happy, but that was before the reality hit me that I would have 2 kids under 2 years old and only be 18. I spent my whole first trimester in a pretty deep depression, even having to go back on medication for it (I've already been diagnosed with clinical depression and bi-polar disorder). Once again, things are looking up, but I'm still concerned about how difficult things are going to be once baby number 2 gets here.

I'm very lucky though because my boyfriend has stayed with me every step of the way. We have had to work through a lot of problems, but we are still going strong. And we've had a lot of help from my family and his family. I have a school guidance counselor who is amazing and has helped me finish my education. Overall, I have been very blessed, because without all this help, I just wouldn't be able to do it.

I wouldn't suggest anyone TTC under 18, and even once you turn 18, it's hard.

(Sorry if I got a little carried away):blush:


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## tasha41

I'm 19, going on 20 this October.

Elyse is 6 weeks old, hardest 6 weeks of my life to date... by far! 

Time seems to be flying by though... so I can definitely see why people say "enjoy it while it lasts" etc. because it's true, it doesn't seem to last long enough.. and it IS very sad when your baby grows out of their clothes I have to say :( lol

*Parenting a newborn (especially the first time around) is confusing* (not knowing what they want immediately, not knowing how to care for a baby yet really, not knowing what questions to ask, etc).. *it's frustrating* (crying, not knowing what they want immediately).. *it's quite repetitive* (newborns don't play, etc.. and while they do new things everyday, changing diapers is starting to get a bit mundane for me lol).. *it's lonely* (I don't live with my boyfriend so I do most things 100% on my own, my mum & sister are home to help but it is tough when it's all you all night every night getting up for changes, feeds, and comforting... and your friends go a little bit MIA, mine have visited to meet her but don't text me, etc. much anymore)

And being young, being put down so much during my pregnancy by my dad, society's opinions of young parents... it really puts a big pressure on you to be the "perfect parent" (which doesn't exist)...

*BUT *I love Elyse, everyday gets easier/better, she becomes more interactive/etc... so things do get better in those respects, can't say it's gotten any easier to be up all the time at night, it still takes me a few seconds to actually get out of bed, it still takes me a lot of motivation to get us both ready/dressed/cleaned up/packed up & out the door... and I'm still not feeling like myself, feel tired, ill, my appetite is messed up, my clothes don't fit 100% comfortably, etc.


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## Blondeone

i think this thread is a great idea. i dont personally have a story to share but i have a mate who has a child and this is her story:
she got pregnant when she was 15 i think it was her first time having sex, the father was 26 at the time and she thought she was madly in love with him. she had absolutely no previous experiance with babys so didnt know what she was getting into. the father already had one child which she was unaware of until after the pregnancy. she wasnt due to give birth till after her GCSEs but she had to miss alot of lessons before the GCSEs as she was quite far gone and was struggling. she ended up giving birth just after christmas. for the first few days i think she was quite overjoyed. then things went downhill and she was hating the responsibilty and not being able 2 go out so a few times she just left the baby at home on its own while she went out. her and the fathers relationship was up and down and eventually they split on bad terms but the father is still involved with the baby which is good he helps out alot. money wise i think she struggles, im aware she is stealing things, she does have a a part time job but the money gets spent on fags and booze. her mum has been a great help to her throughout (maybe a bit too much) i think her mum has ended up taking most of the responsibility of my mate's baby as my mate is always out so her mum ends up babysitting. my mate is finding it so hard she gets frustrated easily like when her baby was learning to walk she had no patience and would practically drag him, mealtimes are a disaster i remember my mate feedin her baby once (when he was on solids) and he wouldnt take the first few mouth fulls so she practically forced it down his throat but he still wouldnt take it so she walked off and left her mum to do it. the house my mate lives in is not baby proof at all and the baby has hardley any toys (its mum is more botherd about spending the money on herself of "designer baby clothes") so the baby ends up playing with things it shouldnt and causing mischief. he is also always getting hurt whether he is at the mums house or the dads and the baby has constantly been in and out of hospital. the baby is now over a year old and the mum is now at college doing a-levels but i know she is finding it too hard and is missing out on so many important things in her childs life, she is also finding it hard to get into other relationships as alot of males are put off by the fact she has a child (although im aware there are alot of good males out there that wouldnt be put off)... so basically i think if you are TTC at a young age u seriously need to think it through. some can deal with it better than others but from my mates story she obviously hasnt dealed with it well and the baby is more like her mums than her own which i know she is going to regret. i think she would admit if she knew how things would turn out when she first found out she was pregnant she would have had an abortion although personally i dont think i could go through with one


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## Blondeone

i forgot to mention she was predicted Bs and above in her GCSEs as she was a bright student but she came out with Cs Ds and Es


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## TeenMomOf2

figured id give a nother teen prego story to help out 
i was 16 wen i found out i was pregnant and after 7 weesk we miscarried then like 2 months later became pregnant again ((docs said im a very fertile person)) i was only in 11th grade of high school and worried about wut i was going to do my family was very upset with me and my boyfriend but we went on and had our daughter we moved around a lot in the begining of her life untill we got accepted to an appartment building havin to pay bills and raise a baby while goin to high school was very hard i didnt get to go out wth my friends and really talk on the phone because i had so much to do all the time. Then in my senior year of high school became pregnant again ((3rd time)). i was very upset and scared wen i took the test! i graduated high school 8.5 months preg. afriad my water would break during the graduation thankfully it did not but i am currently married with my baby father we got extremly lucky that we were in love enough to make this work it is not easy being a teen mom and a lot of people put u down because of it think before you act please


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## Megz143

Ummm Trying To Encourage? Read Her Thread Again, Because I "And Clearly Not Just Me" Didn't Think she was trying To Encourage It At All, If Anything She Is Raising The Aware-ness That Its Not As Easy As They Think. You Miss Out Alot E.G Partying, Friends? Bexy Was Clearly Stating How She Felt As A Young Mum For So Others Could Read It, Relate And Maybe Think Twice!!


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