# my angel's gone



## caitlinbaby

i guess i can't be here anymore, my little angel is gone. i've read the rules and realised i can't post this using certain words but things happened with my mum & that ended up like this. 

i hope all of your pregnancies run smoothly and that your babies are healthy but its goodbye from me.


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## HarlaHorse

Aw hon :hugs:

I'm sorry for your loss. Yes, unfortuantly I do believe the rules state that you can't post but I'm sure that some of the other girls and myself will be able to keep in contact with you, I know that some of the others go into the Girl Sancrutary (however its spelt!).


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## kittycat18

caitlinbaby said:


> i guess i can't be here anymore, my little angel is gone. *i've read the rules and realised i can't post this using certain words but things happened with my mum & that ended up like this*.
> 
> i hope all of your pregnancies run smoothly and that your babies are healthy but its goodbye from me.

I don't want to be invasive but was that an easy way of saying you had an A-word? :shrug:


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## vinteenage

caitlinbaby said:


> i guess i can't be here anymore, my little angel is gone. i've read the rules and realised *i can't post this using certain words *but things happened with my mum & that ended up like this.
> 
> i hope all of your pregnancies run smoothly and that your babies are healthy but its goodbye from me.

Oh no. :nope:

ETA: That's how I took it Chloe, but she's right that the "a" word isn't allowed.


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## merakola

caitlinbaby said:


> i guess i can't be here anymore, my little angel is gone. i've read the rules and realised i can't post this using certain words but things happened with my mum & that ended up like this.
> 
> i hope all of your pregnancies run smoothly and that your babies are healthy but its goodbye from me.

So sorry hun:hugs: I know you probably cant post here anymore but you can always PM if you like :flower::hugs:


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## kittycat18

vinteenage said:


> ETA: That's how I took it Chloe, but she's right that the "a" word isn't allowed.

Your right hunni, I edited my post! :hugs:


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## Desi's_lost

You can still post here, you dont have to be pregnant to post! 
So sorry about your loss. :hugs:


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## vinteenage

Desi's_lost said:


> You can still post here, you dont have to be pregnant to post!
> So sorry about your loss. :hugs:

Nope. A girl was banned...or something (maybe was just told she couldn't post here) for posting in this section and starting threads after she had a loss.

I won't say I understand it, but there it is.


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## caitlinbaby

kittycat18 said:


> caitlinbaby said:
> 
> 
> i guess i can't be here anymore, my little angel is gone. *i've read the rules and realised i can't post this using certain words but things happened with my mum & that ended up like this*.
> 
> i hope all of your pregnancies run smoothly and that your babies are healthy but its goodbye from me.
> 
> I don't want to be invasive but was that an easy way of saying you had an A-word? :shrug:Click to expand...

yes it was, i didn't know how else to put it without saying that


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## Chrissy7411

I'm sorry. :flow:


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## kittycat18

Oh right. Well this forum is pro-life so there isn't really a section you can post in for support. I was going to suggest posting in the miscarriage section of the forum but obviously you wouldn't be able to but as far as I am aware you can post in the Girly Sanctuary section of the forum. Sorry for your loss because it sounds like from your post that this was your mothers decision and not yours. Best of luck :flow:


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## vinteenage

Or, you can request access to the "Ethical Loss" section.


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## Desi's_lost

vinteenage said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> You can still post here, you dont have to be pregnant to post!
> So sorry about your loss. :hugs:
> 
> Nope. A girl was banned...or something (maybe was just told she couldn't post here) for posting in this section and starting threads after she had a loss.
> 
> I won't say I understand it, but there it is.Click to expand...

What? Thats bull. People from ttc posted here when we were pregnant and i remember on one occasion mods specifically said non-pregnant teens were allowed to post! Obviously no "i think i'm pregnant" threads and OP cant openly say she is ttc, but she should still be allowed to post!


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## Desi's_lost

I'm not a pregnant, does that mean I cant post?


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## vinteenage

Doesn't apply to teen mom's apparently. I dont know. I never really understood it.


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## v2007

vinteenage said:


> Or, you can request access to the "Ethical Loss" section.

I am sorry but she terminated a healthy pregnancy, Ethical losses are not that. 

They are losses where baby is ill or where their is a risk to Mums health.


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## Kaisma

Im so sorry for your loss :flow:


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## Desi's_lost

v2007 said:


> vinteenage said:
> 
> 
> Or, you can request access to the "Ethical Loss" section.
> 
> I am sorry but she terminated a healthy pregnancy, Ethical losses are not that.
> 
> They are losses where baby is ill or where their is a risk to Mums health.Click to expand...

I think saying 'she' in reference to the OP is unfair. If her mother made her than she didnt make the choice, her mother did.


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## 4 Babies

Good luck sweetie wish u luck:kiss:


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## kittycat18

v2007 said:


> vinteenage said:
> 
> 
> Or, you can request access to the "Ethical Loss" section.
> 
> I am sorry but she terminated a healthy pregnancy, Ethical losses are not that.
> 
> They are losses where baby is ill or where their is a risk to Mums health.Click to expand...

Yeah I was just about to post saying she couldn't post in Ethical Losses because that is where the mother made the decision based on the child's potential quality of life. Not with a healthy child.


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## v2007

Desi's_lost said:


> v2007 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> vinteenage said:
> 
> 
> Or, you can request access to the "Ethical Loss" section.
> 
> I am sorry but she terminated a healthy pregnancy, Ethical losses are not that.
> 
> They are losses where baby is ill or where their is a risk to Mums health.Click to expand...
> 
> I think saying 'she' in reference to the OP is unfair. If her mother made her than she didnt make the choice, her mother did.Click to expand...

So send her over the Ethical losses where she can tell her story about how her Mum made her terminate a healthy pregnancy to Mums and Dads who made the hardest decision they ever had to make ever to stop their childs own suffering??!! :wacko:

She only told her Mum- Saturday and already she has been seen, assessed and had the procedure? :nope:


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## caitlinbaby

i have been assesed yes, i have not had the full procedure no.
i have taken the first pill and have to return on thursday for the second. if i refuse the second its could result in deformities in my baby.


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## Desi's_lost

I didnt say she should go there, just that you shouldnt cast blame on her like she got to choose what to do with her own body.


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## Croc-O-Dile

V, just so you know it's a quicker process in the US. (Although I don't know if she's from the US) But I know here you can get an appt same day, go in, have it done, and that's that. I know a girl who found out and two days later had an "a." :nope:

:hugs: OP, can't believe your mom would make you do that :hugs:


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## oOskittlesOo

I'm sorry Hun, it's not my place I know, but if you didn't want this you really shouldve spoken up... I hope that you don't end up regretting it... :hugs:


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## kittycat18

Croc-O-Dile said:


> V, just so you know it's a quicker process in the US. (Although I don't know if she's from the US) But I know here you can get an appt same day, go in, have it done, and that's that. I know a girl who found out and two days later had an "a." :nope:

She is in Glasgow, Scotland.



Skyebo said:


> I'm sorry Hun, it's not my place I know, but *if you didn't want this you really shouldve spoken up... I hope that you don't end up regretting it*... :hugs:

I was thinking this myself hunni :nope: It's your body and therefore your decision. If you had wanted to keep the baby then you should have spoken up against your mum and made your own decision. If the worst came to the worst then you could have moved in with a friend, a family member or gotten help from the government. I just hope you don't live to regret this decision for the rest of your life... :nope:


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## vinteenage

Ah, sorry. Must of read the description of Ethical Loss wrong a while ago. :dohh: I thought it was for "a"s in general.

ETA: I agree with Chloe and Sky, too. I don't understand how you couldnt end up regretting or resenting your mother later.


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## kittycat18

vinteenage said:


> ETA: I agree with Chloe and Sky, too. I don't understand how you couldnt end up regretting or resenting your mother later.

I would turn my back on my mother. I made that decision during early pregnancy before I had even told my parents that if they mentioned the A-word or Adoption then I was going to leave. But my parents never ever mentioned it. Don't forget the A-word is illegal over here :thumbup: My mum is running around now saying how she can't wait to be a granny and how proud she is...


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## caitlinbaby

honestly i most likely will regret it but my mum scares me alot and i just felt like i had no other option to go along with her


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## oOskittlesOo

I'm the same way Chloe! I told my mom when she found out that if she said one word about either I was NOT going to talk to her anymore...


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## SmartieMeUp

Sorry for the loss and that things didn't work out which made you go through with it. Just so you know, you're not the only one who has had to make that choice :hugs: :flower: x x x


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## vinteenage

caitlinbaby said:


> honestly i most likely will regret it but my mum scares me alot and i just felt like i had no other option to go along with her

:nope:


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## dreabae

Im sorry this had to happen =[ parents can be harsh. . . . how old are you? Did you say anything to the clinic about not wanting it? Can they be forced to minors over there?

My dad asked if I was ready to have a kid and that there were other options, but thats only cause of the position I was in and the person I was. I cant be mad at that because he was just making sure he supported whatever decision I chose. If he would said GET AN A i probably wouldnt have talked to him. He cant wait to be a grandpa though! :thumbup:


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## kittycat18

dreabae said:


> Im sorry this had to happen =[ parents can be harsh. . . . how old are you? Did you say anything to the clinic about not wanting it? Can they be forced to minors over there?

She is 15 years old and no they can't force an A-word on anyone. Her mum would have had to sign a consent form to allow it to go ahead but if she had made it aware that she wanted to keep the baby, then they would have refused the procedure :hugs:


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## dreabae

kittycat18 said:


> dreabae said:
> 
> 
> Im sorry this had to happen =[ parents can be harsh. . . . how old are you? Did you say anything to the clinic about not wanting it? Can they be forced to minors over there?
> 
> She is 15 years old and no they can't force an A-word on anyone. Her mum would have had to sign a consent form to allow it to go ahead but if she had made it aware that she wanted to keep the baby, then they would have refused the procedure :hugs:Click to expand...

Ohh ok. Well isnt she close enough to being an "adult" over there then? Cant you become your own support person at 16?


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## caitlinbaby

to be honest no i didn't make it clear enough i wanted to keep it but like i said i am scared of my mum like major scared of her. i know i should of stood up to her but i don't know. i know that i will never forgive her.


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## Desi's_lost

I had a close friend whos mother was quite the character. She beat my friend with a crutch one time. had my friend even gotten pregnant, even at say 18 the choice would never have been hers. Some parents are just so controlling that there is no other option but the one they give.


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## oOskittlesOo

caitlinbaby said:


> to be honest no i didn't make it clear enough i wanted to keep it but like i said i am scared of my mum like major scared of her. i know i should of stood up to her but i don't know. i know that i will never forgive her.

:hugs: sadly a lot of young girls who fall pregnant don't speak up for themselves. I hope that one day you can tell your mom how you felt through this and that you have an amazing life... :( 


:hugs:


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## emyandpotato

kittycat18 said:


> dreabae said:
> 
> 
> Im sorry this had to happen =[ parents can be harsh. . . . how old are you? Did you say anything to the clinic about not wanting it? Can they be forced to minors over there?
> 
> She is 15 years old and no they can't force an A-word on anyone. Her mum would have had to sign a consent form to allow it to go ahead but if she had made it aware that she wanted to keep the baby, then they would have refused the procedure :hugs:Click to expand...

You don't need parental consent in the UK for an abortion at any age :thumbup:


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## bumpy_j

i'm sorry you had to go through this decision x


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## dreabae

caitlinbaby said:


> to be honest no i didn't make it clear enough i wanted to keep it but like i said i am scared of my mum like major scared of her. i know i should of stood up to her but i don't know. i know that i will never forgive her.

:hugs: It will get better. Soon enough you can have a little one and not worry about her interfering.


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## kittycat18

emyandpotato said:


> You don't need parental consent in the UK for an A-word at any age :thumbup:

Ahh I didn't know that because it's illegal in the North and South of Ireland unless for genuine medical reasons. The government have no intention of making it legal and I hope they keep it that way. 

I agree with Skye, I hope that one day you have the strength to tell your mother how you felt about it. I used to be scared of my mum because she was extremely controlling and strict about everything. But when I got older I realised that she was just protecting me and I love her for it now :shrug:


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## caitlinbaby

i don't think my mum does it to protect me. i think she does it just to control me. she's even like it with my dad


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## Lexilove

I'm so sorry :hugs: I hope that your mom will explain her reasons, I can only believe that in some way (not that I'm condoning it) she thought she was doing the right thing.


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## we can't wait

I can&#8217;t genuinely make a sympathetic post due to my personal feelings on the subject.
That being said, while I can't offer an 'i'm sorry,' I *do* hope that you go on to find happiness in life. Now, the best thing you can do is to make the best of the situation you have been dealt. Make the best of yourself so that one day you can be the best mother possible. Good luck x :flow:


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## sma1588

i wish u the best and hope u can tell your mom how it made you feel. this is something u will never ever forget. i hope u can talk to your mom and find out why she said this. no one can force you to do anything but because of the situation with your mom i can kinda understand but i rather live with family or on government care . just remember this is something she will never forget either as this was her grandchild. u might need to look into some help for the way u might feel after everything is done.


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## AriannasMama

we can't wait said:


> I cant genuinely make a sympathetic post due to my personal feelings on the subject.
> That being said, while I can't offer an 'i'm sorry,' I *do* hope that you go on to find happiness in life. Now, the best thing you can do is to make the best of the situation you have been dealt. Make the best of yourself so that one day you can be the best mother possible. Good luck x :flow:


WSS. :hugs:


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## amygwen

I am sorry hun, it's a horrible situation. I'm sure you were stuck in a really awkward position, if you ever need to chat you can PM me. Good luck to you hun :hugs:


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## charlotte88

if she told her mum on saturday there is no way she would have got the A this quick, even the first tablet. Sorry.

I'm talking from experiance here that in the UK you get referred by your doctor they send you to the clinic, they asses you (speak to another doctor/psychologist if requested) and then a week later they give you the appointment. They don't do them as quickly as she is making out because of the fact that they are still not as "encouraged" so they make sure people are 100% certain.

Unless its all changed in the last 3 years i don't belive her.


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## emyandpotato

charlotte88 said:


> if she told her mum on saturday there is no way she would have got the A this quick, even the first tablet. Sorry.
> 
> I'm talking from experiance here that in the UK you get referred by your doctor they send you to the clinic, they asses you (speak to another doctor/psychologist if requested) and then a week later they give you the appointment. They don't do them as quickly as she is making out because of the fact that they are still not as "encouraged" so they make sure people are 100% certain.
> 
> Unless its all changed in the last 3 years i don't belive her.

I agree, you need the consent of two doctors and it would take at least a week. Plus they get you to speak to a counsellor and give you thinking time. It has taken weeks with everyone I know. She could have gone private which would have been quicker but I doubt it.


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## charlotte88

im also pretty sure the dont do chemical "a" (the pill) after 8 weeks, because it can cause so much bleeding and because your sent home and left to deal with it there they cannot monitor you so after 8 weeks you can only have surgical "a"


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## Srrme

charlotte88 said:


> im also pretty sure the dont do chemical "a" (the pill) after 8 weeks, because it can cause so much bleeding and because your sent home and left to deal with it there they cannot monitor you so after 8 weeks you can only have surgical "a"

Here in the U.S they do them up to 9 weeks, sadly.


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## Chrissy7411

:wacko:


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## emyandpotato

charlotte88 said:


> im also pretty sure the dont do chemical "a" (the pill) after 8 weeks, because it can cause so much bleeding and because your sent home and left to deal with it there they cannot monitor you so after 8 weeks you can only have surgical "a"

Yeah that's the law but wasn't she only 6 weeks or so? :shrug:


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## charlotte88

emyandpotato said:


> charlotte88 said:
> 
> 
> im also pretty sure the dont do chemical "a" (the pill) after 8 weeks, because it can cause so much bleeding and because your sent home and left to deal with it there they cannot monitor you so after 8 weeks you can only have surgical "a"
> 
> Yeah that's the law but wasn't she only 6 weeks or so? :shrug:Click to expand...

she said she was either 6 or 10 weeks in one of her posts. so i guess it is possible for her to have had chemical, although deffinatly not this quick 

x


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## emyandpotato

Her parents _could_ have payed for private which is always quite quick, though 3 days is super fast, but definitely never that fast on the NHS. I struggle to get a doctors appointment alone that fast :haha: 

EDIT: Just found this... it'd take 4 days minimum and that's without the ridiculous NHS waiting times https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Sexualhealth/Pages/Abortionyouroptions.aspx

Just thought, mods aren't gonna be happy about us discussing this.


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## charlotte88

i think they leave you waiting in the hopes you change your mind. Thats the impression i got tbh! they dont make you feel to great about these things no matter on your situation.

x


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## emyandpotato

:nope: Just don't know what to say, this seems to be happening way too much recently


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## Chelsea.ann1

I don't understand. :shrug:
Why would someone make this up? :nope:


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## OmarsMum

Closed as per forum rules & TOS:



> While BabyandBump tries to remain pro-choice on most subjects, out of respect for majority of our members that are either trying to conceive, or pregnant, we ask that you do not discuss topics on abortion and terminations outside of the 'Ethical Prenatal Losses' forum.


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## Jo

emyandpotato said:


> Her parents _could_ have payed for private which is always quite quick, though 3 days is super fast, but definitely never that fast on the NHS. I struggle to get a doctors appointment alone that fast :haha:
> 
> EDIT: Just found this... it'd take 4 days minimum and that's without the ridiculous NHS waiting times https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Sexualhealth/Pages/Abortionyouroptions.aspx
> 
> *Just thought, mods aren't gonna be happy about us discussing this*.

You are 100% on that.
Caitlinbaby you KNOW you aren't allowed to post about this subject


> *While BabyandBump tries to remain pro-choice on most subjects, out of respect for majority of our members that are either trying to conceive, or pregnant, we ask that you do not discuss topics on abortion and terminations outside of the 'Ethical Prenatal Losses' forum*

Although saying that, this does not count as an ethical loss as it was a lifestyle choice.



> BabyandBump operates a strict NO under 18's using the forum for the following:
> Waiting to try (WTT)
> Trying to conceive (TTC)
> Two Week Wait (2WW)
> *(Non-pregnant minors using the 'Teen Pregnancy' forum may have their account restricted or banned without warning*

This is not to say you may not reply to friends threads but I advise against starting new topics in this area.



> Public posts debating these rules and/or the moderators enforcement of them will be closed or removed without comment. While feedback is welcome we request that you use the 'Contact Us' link below if you have any questions or concerns.

x


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