# How long to wait after a stillbirth?



## redokapi

I lost my baby at 38w5d and gave birth to her at 39w1d on the 14th April.

I am still waiting for my lochia to stop, but I was wondering how long other people waited to try again?

Our midwife said that we could try straight away because if my body wasn't ready I wouldn't conceive, but I want to wait until the lochia has stopped and I have had my 6 week check up. Waiting is so hard though :-(


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## lch28

I am so sorry for your loss hun. If your midwife says you can try straight away then that means health wise you can. However it is ultimately up to you, if you prefer to wait then you should. It is extremely hard to wait, i think if it is going to happen it will and to just BD when you want too


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## emnmaa

Hubby and I have also been thinking about this. It already feels like it's been months and months since Maya died so it feels more natural to us to not wait too long. However, I feel the need to let my body recover from the pregnancy and give ourselves time to have a sex life again. We're going to see our gp soon to sort out some medium term contraception -I'm thinking implant. 
But saying all this, you and your husband aren't us so in the end you will do what feels right for your family. 

Wishing you love and smiles. Be good to yourselves,
Emma and Maartijn. X

P.s. I think we've spoken on reddit! :)


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## keepthefaithx

hey hun i am so sorry for you loss i know someone who had a stillbirth and had to wait 3 months, def see what your dr says, fxd for you xoox


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## missy_s

im very sorry for your loss. i lost my daughter at 31 weeks in 2007 i waited a few months before i started ttc again but we were told we could try after 6 weeks but i didnt feel up to it iykwim 

sasha xx


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## keepthefaithx

emnmaa said:


> hubby and i have also been thinking about this. It already feels like it's been months and months since maya died so it feels more natural to us to not wait too long. However, i feel the need to let my body recover from the pregnancy and give ourselves time to have a sex life again. We're going to see our gp soon to sort out some medium term contraception -i'm thinking implant.
> But saying all this, you and your husband aren't us so in the end you will do what feels right for your family.
> 
> Wishing you love and smiles. Be good to yourselves,
> emma and maartijn. X
> 
> p.s. I think we've spoken on reddit! :)

beatiful name hun i love it!


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## redokapi

emnmaa said:


> Hubby and I have also been thinking about this. It already feels like it's been months and months since Maya died so it feels more natural to us to not wait too long. However, I feel the need to let my body recover from the pregnancy and give ourselves time to have a sex life again. We're going to see our gp soon to sort out some medium term contraception -I'm thinking implant.
> But saying all this, you and your husband aren't us so in the end you will do what feels right for your family.
> 
> Wishing you love and smiles. Be good to yourselves,
> Emma and Maartijn. X
> 
> P.s. I think we've spoken on reddit! :)

Perception of time is strange in times like this. Time feels like it is dragging because I want to be totally back to normal physically by now, but it feels like much more than three weeks have passed since our worlds collapsed.

It sounds like you are being more rational about it than me, but I don't think I want to start using contraception because it may make it harder to conceive when we try. My head says to wait and get my body back but my heart says to try ASAP.

Hope you two are getting through it together, and yes - we did speak on reddit.

Love and strength to you both,
Em


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## SwabianMrs

My son was born sleeping on the 7th of August last year. I wanted to be pregnant instantly but my very sensible husband made us wait to try until I had 2 definite periods.

I think ensuring you know your cycle again will make TTC less scary - if you are not sure what is going on, you risk getting your hopes up and I believe that sort of stress makes TTC even less likely to work. Our bodies can be super annoying, it is like our bodies say ...oh...you appear stressed...tell you what... I'll stop you from ovulating to prevent further stress!

We were outstandingly lucky and got pregnant at the first cycle we tried. I am now 31 weeks pregnant. 

From my experience the things I will say are:

keep taking your pregnancy vitamins even while not trying - it should help your body recover quicker
Understand that you are going to be terrified when you do get pregnant
You will be completely irrational and beat yourself up about how feel about both babies, do you love one more than the other
Do have some counselling, you need someone who isn't involved to talk to

With the benefit of hindsight, I think we should have waited longer. The new pregnancy was yet another thing to feel guilty about at a time I couldn't cope. However, and extremely obviously, I don't regret our choice and I also know I would do exactly the same again.

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter xxx


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## Myangelavery

So sorry for you:( i lost my avery at 34 weeks sept 2nd 2010 and wanted to be pregnant as soon as i left the hospital. My boyfriend wasnt ready for a while and i think that was a blessing in disguise because i didnt know it at the time but i wasnt emotionally ready. Im still trying just mc at 5 weeks in march but having these experiences as sad as i was has made me a strong person i never thought i would have been ok after losing her. Just make sure you are emotionally ready before anything else. If u need to talk u can message me i felt comfort talking to others and hearing success stories after stillbirth. I am still waiting for my success story but i am never giving up. Love and prayers to u:)


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