# HomeBirth...Anyone...wana chat??!



## star-dust

*Is anyone having a home birth or considering one?

Would love to chat to others considering this!? 

Im 20weeks on monday but knew from the start this babas coming out at home!

Hubby has a few concerns so have spoken to a independant m/w who does group chats about homebirths, but annoyingly the next one isnt convienant for us, so going to look into her comin out here to reassure hubby and answer any questions he or I may have, she will charge a small fee for petrol but not worried about that, it will be nice to hvae someone here who can spend time chatting to us over a coffee without being rushed, which may be the case at a antenatel clinic appointment

Alternativly anyone already had a home birth already and wana share experiances?*


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## cinnamongirl

I am dreaming of a water birth, and therefore it would have to be a home birth, as our hospitals don't have water birthing suites. My only problem now is the cost of renting the tub, and also...I have a cyst that is a problem for me, and mw and I are unsure if it can be a possibility for me. I think OH has a bit of a problem with a home birth, as we are renting, and he thinks it would be weird! ha!

My girlfriend had a home birth, and she had some pretty serious complications and had to be rushed to hospital. Baby was born at home, but within minutes, they were being rushed away. Pretty scary, but I'm sure that's not the norm!

I would love to hear of other's experiences.


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## SianMA

I'm planning a home water birth all being well. Have been watching lots of homebirthing programmes on Sky and gettign DH to watch too. He was totally grossed out at first but the more I make him watch the less nervous he is about it.

I also found loads of videos about homebirth and waterbirth on YouTube. I guess just being more familiar with the process makes it less scary. I even heard of a guy in Wales whose wife had a very short labour and he found a video on YouTube about how to deliver a baby and he did it himself while waiting for the paramedics to arrive!

I think men just like to know whats going to happen, they are total control freaks by nature so if they feel like they have some answers and solutions they feel a lot better. Good luck!


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## Kitten

I'm booked in for a home birth but not holding my breath for one as there are countless reasons why the NHS drag you in but if you have an independent midwife that's awesome. I wish we could afford one!


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## colsy

Kitten said:


> I'm booked in for a home birth but not holding my breath for one as there are countless reasons why the NHS drag you in but if you have an independent midwife that's awesome. I wish we could afford one!

I know it feels like it sometimes, but actually "they" can't force you to do anything. You can have a thousand and one home births (in the UK, I'm talking here) if that's what you want and nobody can stop you doing otherwise. It's very easy to feel that it's not in your hands, but if you say "no" to something that a healthcare provider offers, they can try to persuade you otherwise but they can't force you. (Unless you're considered unable to consent, but that's pretty unlikely.)


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## Wombat

I want a home birth and I had a previous c-section. My NHS midwife was very supportive, but because I am considered high-risk (c-section) it is not up to he rto book mein for the home birth.
I have my consultant appoinment at 28 weeks. Will have to talk about it then (I am prepared for a battle)


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## purple_socks

I'm planning a homebirth. I bought an inflatable birthing pool the other day so all set when that arrives. I hate hospitals...i feel like i'd b bullied into medical interventions/methods i didn't want where as i feel much more in control at home and feeling relaxed and incontrol is the key! DH thought it was very weird at first but since we've researched it further he's really come round to the idea. We don't live far away from the hospital if we need to get there for some reason and at at least with a home birth u don't have to worry abt when to leave for the hospital...i know i'd b scared i'd miss judge it all (being my first time) and not get there in time or get there really early and get turned away! i've found reading the birth stories on homebirth.org really helpful...infact i've found that whole site really helpful.


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## lozzy21

Im not pregnant yet but am planning on a home birth. The most common reason for them saying you cant have a home birth is they are short staffed but if you write in to the head of your midwifery servaces and say you are not going into hospital to solve their staffing problem they will usualy provide support. There is some legisaltion that came/comes in this year saying that every woman can have a home birth as long as they are low risk. The percent of uterine rupture with out a c section is 0.3% and the percentage of ruptre in VCAC IS ONLY 0.5%!

Sorry for butting in but iv been researching into it allready.


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## lindypops

Totally planning home water birth!

My friend was telling me yesterday that our local hospital has a closed door policy if things get too busy - technically, I could have to go as far as King's Lynn if this happens to me. No f***ing way!

I intend to use this as a strong argument as to why I am insisting on a homebirth, if it comes to that - not all hopsitals have this policy, but it's worth checking yours out, to add ammo if you need it. 

(And if you need to go urgently, due to complications, apparently you get bumped so would be able to get in, even if doors are closed.)


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## star-dust

*hye girls thanks for the respsonce, Im glad im not the only one planin this, I will ahve a look at that website mentioned,

I dont have an independant m/w but I have access to one if I wish, were I live its a small community and and idependant m/ws work with the NHS ones if things are busy or anything

Im personally not into a water birth, but hoping to have a bath first, does anyone know if this is ok? How soon would I have to get out if I aint given birth in it?

Also my other hugggggggeeeeeeee question is

were do you give birth to at home?!!! 

I said bed to hubby he said no you aint wreckin with blood and disgusting stuff 

so many questions also hygiene tidy home etc is a worry before I dont want m/w turning up to a messy house!!*


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## Cariad_bach

Hi hun,
After 2 hospital births my last was a home birth and it was fantastic ... so good this one will be a home birth to.

The MW was fantastic (the 2nd MW didn't get there on time tho because i was quick so OH had to help) 

I had a Tenn's machine and gass and air ...

...The MW cleaned up all traces of any mess before id even seen it, she packed all the placenta etc up in her bags to take away, half a hour after giving birth i was in my living room having a brew and some of my neighbours popped in to see me lol

The room i used was my dinning room with a sofa bed (in case it happened at night when the kids were asleep, i used cheep shower curtains to cover the bed with a old quilt cover ect on top of it ..

..this is the room ready for the birth

https://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/cariad_bach/Old%20baby%20Pics/Pic091.jpg

Good luck with what you decide but i deffo recommend them xxxxx

PS have a read of this thread in 3rd Tri ... a few of us are going for Homebirths xxx https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnancy-third-trimester/127699-hypno-home-birth-girls.html


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## star-dust

*thanks Cariad_bach for that reply, its good to hear from someone whos had a susecfuul (& what sounds like) a pleasant home birth

I was thinkin lounge, but not sure as we have pets as to whether hygiene would be any good?

One thing I have heard is with h/b you are guarentted a m/w with you at all times, were as hosptial you can be left on your own?
even if thats not the case Id rather be left on my own at home so I can settle were I want or wander without feelin Im gettin under anyones feet esp if someone else is in labour!

***wonders off to nosey what 3rd tri are up to*


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## star-dust

purple_socks said:


> i've found reading the birth stories on homebirth.org really helpful...infact i've found that whole site really helpful.


have you the proper link to this site pleasE? thanks xx


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## Cariad_bach

star-dust said:


> *thanks Cariad_bach for that reply, its good to hear from someone whos had a susecfuul (& what sounds like) a pleasant home birth
> 
> I was thinkin lounge, but not sure as we have pets as to whether hygiene would be any good?
> 
> One thing I have heard is with h/b you are guaranteed a m/w with you at all times, were as hosptial you can be left on your own?
> even if thats not the case Id rather be left on my own at home so I can settle were I want or wander without feelin Im gettin under anyone's feet esp if someone else is in labour!
> 
> ***wonders off to nosey what 3rd tri are up to*

Im not sure about the pet things TBH but just ask your MW, with me they did a 'assessment' of the room i wanted to give birth.

As for being left .. in hospital with my 1st 2 the MW's would wander in and out all the time ... forever having to rush off and deal with other people or change shift ...

...at home when you call them to say your in labour they will come and check you, if they think your a while away they may go and do other stuff and come back ever hour or so to check on you ... if your nearly there they will stay with you but they will often just make everyone a brew and go and watch TV or somthing.
Whilst your in Active labour you have their undivided attention which is great ... i think (if i remember correctly) that after my LO was born she (the other MW didnt get there on time) hung about for a hour or so whilst cleaning up and making sure i was ok, then she went and left me to it.

It was a really really positive experience, i loved t :) xxxx


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## cinnamongirl

star-dust said:


> *Im personally not into a water birth, but hoping to have a bath first, does anyone know if this is ok? How soon would I have to get out if I aint given birth in it?*

well, i'm not too sure, but my mw and I talked about hospital birth, and we talked about the bathtubs they have there. She said u can sit in the bathtub during labour, but have to get out when u need to push. I'm assuming at home it would be the same??


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## GersPrincess

I'd really love to have a home birth, but I just can't do it to my hubby!! His son was born at 32 or 33 weeks, so the whole labour thing is really traumatic for him. My labours were straightforward and lovely really, but I wont be able to relax at home if he is uncomfortable or worried about stuff. As this is going to be our one and only child together, I've decided that I will go to hospital to spare him the worry!! 

But, if I was to do it at home, I would want to do it in my lounge, as its my fave room in the house, and I'd probably just put loads of tarpulin down, and then cover it in cheap duvets out of asda or somewhere for comfort. I dont think there are any restrictions on how long you can stay in the bath, or else they wouldnt let you have a water birth. 

I hope it all goes well for you when we eventually get there!


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## SianMA

I think the main thing with using water for pain relief is that you don't use it too early on as it can slow labour down quite a bit, but once you're in established labour you can stay in there as long as you like. You'll have to get out every so often if your m/w doesn't have a waterproof doppler or wants to check your cervix.

As for mess you can buy those absorbent squares that they use in hospital/ midwives will bring some as an extra measure, they're like big squares of nappy material that you just roll up and chuck away - they're called Inco pads I think - designed for incontinence - I found some on the internet for £7 for 30. So I guess I'll have some of those, a cheap shower curtain, an old duvet cover and a big plastic sheet for underneath the pool.


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## SianMA

Also forgot, my aunt who is a midwife said to make sure we have a few buckets handy as there can be lots of sick!


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## sam#3

Hiya hun,

I have had 2 home births, with Dylan i stayed in the bath right up until i was 10cm dilated and could feel him starting to move down ready to crown then i got out of the bath,squatted over it and had him on the bathroom floor! Within an hour i had a bath and was tucked up in bed with a cuppa and the midwives had left.
With Harry we had a birth pool and i was in and out of it but i didnt give birth in it.
I was worried about how much mess there would be before i had Dylan but it was all gone before i even noticed it, the midwives cleared up the mess, ran me a bath, made us all tea and toast, tucked us up in bed and left.
With #4 i am going to give birth in the pool providing everything goes ok. I got my pool from La Bassine online and its great.
Things did go a little bit complicated with my birth with Harry but it was all fine in the end and in fact it was a truly beautiful experience, we had both the other children there and Anais even cut the cord. It was amazing. This is my birth story if you fancy a read!

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about home birth, im quite an expert in it now!!!

https://www.babyandbump.com/birth-a...-charles-newman-born-14-11-08-pics-added.html


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## purple_socks

star-dust said:


> purple_socks said:
> 
> 
> i've found reading the birth stories on homebirth.org really helpful...infact i've found that whole site really helpful.
> 
> 
> have you the proper link to this site pleasE? thanks xxClick to expand...

https://www.homebirth.org.uk/

I'm planning on setting my living room up as a birthing room...i wanna deck it out with fairy lights, candles and the water pool. we've got some plastic dust sheets from b&q to go over everything (and old sheets/duvets/towles over the top so i don't stick to the plastic) they were really cheap and they're huge and afterwards everything can go straight in a bin bag- easy peasy


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## marley2580

For all those who's OH's are a bit unsure, get them to look at this https://www.homebirth.org.uk/blokesven.htm


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## marley2580

Wombat said:


> I want a home birth and I had a previous c-section. My NHS midwife was very supportive, but because I am considered high-risk (c-section) it is not up to he rto book mein for the home birth.
> I have my consultant appoinment at 28 weeks. Will have to talk about it then (I am prepared for a battle)

That's a load of rubbish, my MW booked me in for a homebirth. Write to the head of MWs and tell them that you WILL be having a homebirth (not want, will) and that you expect to be supported in this.


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## marley2580

star-dust said:


> *
> 
> Also my other hugggggggeeeeeeee question is
> 
> were you given birth to at home?!!!
> 
> *

My mum had all of us at home


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## star-dust

sam#3 said:


> Hiya hun,
> 
> I have had 2 home births, with Dylan i stayed in the bath right up until i was 10cm dilated and could feel him starting to move down ready to crown then i got out of the bath,squatted over it and had him on the bathroom floor! Within an hour i had a bath and was tucked up in bed with a cuppa and the midwives had left.
> With Harry we had a birth pool and i was in and out of it but i didnt give birth in it.
> I was worried about how much mess there would be before i had Dylan but it was all gone before i even noticed it, the midwives cleared up the mess, ran me a bath, made us all tea and toast, tucked us up in bed and left.
> With #4 i am going to give birth in the pool providing everything goes ok. I got my pool from La Bassine online and its great.
> Things did go a little bit complicated with my birth with Harry but it was all fine in the end and in fact it was a truly beautiful experience, we had both the other children there and Anais even cut the cord. It was amazing. This is my birth story if you fancy a read!
> 
> Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about home birth, im quite an expert in it now!!!
> 
> https://www.babyandbump.com/birth-a...-charles-newman-born-14-11-08-pics-added.html

*
Hi thanks for this reply, I am defo gonna PM you at some point, your a breastfeeding cloth bum wearing mommy who had a home birth......my kinda lady!!!! (no offence to those that dont do or dont wish to do those things, just its what i want to be doing!)

I read your post out to my hubby, and he seems to be starting to feel a bit easier over it, but think its going to still take a lot more to reassure him, I did say to him, are you sure your ok with me haveing it at home, he replied well i know once you have your mind set on something there is no changing it sooo...!!!
I had to point all the negs to him of a hospital birth but hes got quite a bit to learn!!

Must admit not sure about giveing bith on me bathroom floor...its tiny!!! 

Did suggest maybe nursery, but maybe thats a tad to weird! Hubby said wouldnt the floor be uncomfortable....erm Im pushing a football outta a pin hole, I dont think Im gonan care tbh much about comfort!!!

marley2580 thanks for that link, I found it a really interesting (& entertaining!) read!*


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## Wombat

marley2580 said:


> Wombat said:
> 
> 
> I want a home birth and I had a previous c-section. My NHS midwife was very supportive, but because I am considered high-risk (c-section) it is not up to he rto book mein for the home birth.
> I have my consultant appoinment at 28 weeks. Will have to talk about it then (I am prepared for a battle)
> 
> That's a load of rubbish, my MW booked me in for a homebirth. Write to the head of MWs and tell them that you WILL be having a homebirth (not want, will) and that you expect to be supported in this.Click to expand...

Thanks for that  :hug: How do I get to the head midwife? Is it a head midwife of the hospital, or is it the head midwife of the surgery I am in?


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## Wombat

Home birth and SPD? Is anyone considering this? I had a very bad SPD with my first and it just started again...


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## Torianna

I'm planning on a home birth, usual reasons, hate hospitals, love home etc!

I did want a water birth but to hire the pool is looking a bit extravagant in many cases, but i will continue to investigate this fully.

When i met my new midwife at 20 weeks i told her i want a home birth, she flicked through my notes and agreed at that stage there was no reason why not, and that she'll srrange to come to the house to talk things through in detail around 30 weeks so i can make a fully informed decision x


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## marley2580

Wombat said:


> marley2580 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Wombat said:
> 
> 
> I want a home birth and I had a previous c-section. My NHS midwife was very supportive, but because I am considered high-risk (c-section) it is not up to he rto book mein for the home birth.
> I have my consultant appoinment at 28 weeks. Will have to talk about it then (I am prepared for a battle)
> 
> That's a load of rubbish, my MW booked me in for a homebirth. Write to the head of MWs and tell them that you WILL be having a homebirth (not want, will) and that you expect to be supported in this.Click to expand...
> 
> Thanks for that  :hug: How do I get to the head midwife? Is it a head midwife of the hospital, or is it the head midwife of the surgery I am in?Click to expand...

It should be the person in charge of all the midwifes in your area. You should probably be able to find the details on google, but if not then a call to the local nhs trust switchboard should help. If all else fails, try contacting AIMS. I've got a couple of links to example letters to HoM if you need them.


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## lovedupgirl

Iv'e just posted a thread about homebirth in second trimester!
I really want a home birth after a lot of bad experiences in my local hospital,I have had 3 babies before, all my labours were short and straight forward.
This is my OH's 1st baby and he has his heart set on a hospital birth as he feels it as safer and is totally against our baby being born at home.
The thought of being in labour at the hospital is making me feel really anxious.
I cant win:hissy:


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## star-dust

lovedupgirl said:


> Iv'e just posted a thread about homebirth in second trimester!
> I really want a home birth after a lot of bad experiences in my local hospital,I have had 3 babies before, all my labours were short and straight forward.
> This is my OH's 1st baby and he has his heart set on a hospital birth as he feels it as safer and is totally against our baby being born at home.
> The thought of being in labour at the hospital is making me feel really anxious.
> I cant win:hissy:

Kinda similar to me but once I sat down and spoke with my hubby about it and showed him the links on this thread he is starting to feel a bit easier but still has concerns, can you get him to talk to your m/w if shes ok with you havin a h/b maybe to help reassure him!?
Mine turned out to be against it coz he was worried something may go wrong or I may not be able to cope with the pain, sweet of him to care but blinkin annoying!


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## star-dust

SianMA said:


> Also forgot, my aunt who is a midwife said to make sure we have a few buckets handy as there can be lots of sick!

such a lovely thought......!!!! :rofl::rofl:


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## lindypops

I think people (read: fathers-to-be) automatically assume hospitals will be safer, as that is where there are more experts/monitors/facilities should something go wrong, or even if it doesn't.

I suppose it's fairly natural for them to think this, especially as they will be feeling that alpha-male protective stuff on behalf of both of us during labour. I explain to my DH that all those monitors/people was one of the exact reasons why I DON'T want a hospital birth, if I can avoid it.

On the homebirth.org.uk website I put on your other thread, lovedupgirl, there is lots of research that demonstrates that what could go wrong at home is also extremely likely to be unpreventable in hospital. Homebirths are also statistically safer, though of course that is fairly self-explanatory, as women deemed high risk would automatically be booked in for hospital births, so where complications arose, many had probably been anticipated.

I explained to my DH that I will feel more confident and relaxed at home, we won't have to be apart, as the perso leaving after will be the mw, not him, and that he will be able to play a more active part too. It also did help, tbh, that the hospital is only 10 mins away by ambulance.


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## lovedupgirl

My OH wont even look at the information!Just says whats the point when he doesn't want a home birth!I am sooo frustrated:hissy:


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## marley2580

lovedupgirl said:


> My OH wont even look at the information!Just says whats the point when he doesn't want a home birth!I am sooo frustrated:hissy:

If push comes to shove, it's you having this baby not him. You decide where you give birth not him. It's vital for a good labour that you feel comfortable about where you are labouring/giving birth. What about a MW led unit? Would he and you feel more comfortable about this?


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## Cazza89

I want a home waterbirth. A lot of people are like 'nooo! You should be in hospital for your 1st'. 
OH says he'd prefer me to go to hospital, but if i want a homebirth then that's fine! =). Hospital from me would be a good 20mins by ambulance, although we have a small hospital only 5mins away. 
I haven't really looked into it as such yet, only read a few things here and there and i hate hospitals so a homebirth would be ideal. Thing is, i live with my mum and don't think me and OH will have found a place of our own by then. I'm not sure if i want mum there with me or not, but it's her house, and i don't want to be rude! I don't mind if i don't get one, but if i can't then i'd like to go to a midwife led unit. I'm waiting until my 25wk appointment with the MW to discuss things more though. X


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## lozzy21

Torianna some women just use big paddaling pools. As for the women who sayd their oh dont want one as some one has said its you giving birth not them.
Im not pregnant yet but have been discussing it and he has said that he would rather me go into hospital but he knows im going to get my own way anyway so hes not going to argue and as long as i research into it.


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## redpoppy

I want a home birth! This is my first pregnancy and my mother is freaking out at me not being in a hospital and my OH is a little concerned too. But I wants what I wants! :mrgreen: unless of course, there's any risks involved.

I generally don't like doctors and admittedly I've only been this way since I moved to London (Over ten years of bad experiences!!!). Besides I think midwives would only be midwives if they liked mothers and babies and children whereas doctors can be quite clinical.

Also friend of mine gave birth last year and she said the WORST part of it for her was the thought of leaving home when she was in that state. She felt comfortable and safe having her horrible contractions at home but being dragged to hospital was not her idea of fun.

I'm a bit concerned about where I'll have the birth as I don't know what kind of room will be suitable. Thanks to all the posts on this thread! informative and encouraging!


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## Cariad_bach

redpoppy said:


> I'm a bit concerned about where I'll have the birth as I don't know what kind of room will be suitable. Thanks to all the posts on this thread! informative and encouraging!


My MW's have been happy for me to choose any room except the bathroom,

Basically allot depends on what you want to give birth on/in ... like bed or pool etc,

It its on a bed then there needs to be enough room around the bed for her to do her stuff etc
(which is why she said not my bathroom, the rooms to small)
If its pool then there needs to be room for the pool and for the MWs and there stuff but other than that she left it up to me.

Im giving birth in my dinning room again because we have wooden floor in there so i don't have to worry about covering the floor and there's a sofa bed in there,
Theres a downstairs toilet next to the room and it meens if its a night time birth i wont wake my other kids up (not that you will have that problem lol) xxxx


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## ellie

this is great! It's still early on for me but I really want a home birth. I also agree that statistically its safer (given the bit about already-known complications etc) and it is YOU that is important - OH is just there as a support (not being mean! just factual that YOU are the one giving birth) and they will get to be more involved at home as well and so they ought to feel more in control too.
As long as you research it all properly and feel comfortable with your decision then everyone around you ought to support it.
I can understand though that if everyone around you is panicking about it being 'dangerous' at home (isnt it only really recently that hospital birth has become the 'norm'? what did we do before???) it might make you more anxious. Grr!
Will be checking back on this thread!


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## lindypops

I totally agree with everyone else, loveupgirl, it's not him who's 'having' the birth - you are!

I went to my first private (not NCT though) ante natal class last night and the emphasis is on mother's choice, not promoting hb's. 

One thing the organiser did say is that if the mother is where she wants to be, whether that's hospital or home or wherever, she is more likely to be relaxed, labour will progress more smoothly and she will not feel threatened. DH has already agreed to a hb, but I commented to him then that this is why I want one - it just *feels* like the right choice for me.

Your OH is being selfish if he refuses to even listen to your pov or read anything about it. You will need him to be fully informed wherever you have your LO. Mind you, that doesn't help you! Sorry!

Last night I was also recommended another website: https://www.aims.org.uk/hbchoose.htm I'm just about to have a look.


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## lindypops

From aims.co.uk:

Hospital birth also increases the risk of the emotional/psychological disruption of being in an unfamiliar institution. It is well documented that other mammals, when disturbed in their nests in labour or moved to unfamiliar surroundings, have longer labours with more complications. Entering hospital undermines a woman's need to feel safe, secure and in familiar surroundings. This in turn interferes with her ability to relax and ultimately give herself up to the experience of birth. This 'letting go' - the ability to respond to a deep, instinctive knowledge of how to give birth to your baby - is an important part of letting the birth process unfold a smoothly and safely as possible.


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## purple_socks

lovedupgirl said:


> My OH wont even look at the information!Just says whats the point when he doesn't want a home birth!I am sooo frustrated:hissy:

it really shouldn't b his choice to make hun...

from all my research i've found the key to a quick and easy birth is the mother state of mind. u need to b somewhere u feel calm and relaxed so u can release 'happy hormones'. if u feel scared or uncomfortable (which i feel in hospitals) u'll release all the wrong hormones which slow labour and make u tense and the whole thing more painful (its an animal instinct- if u feel scared ur bodies gonna try to fight labour and slow/ stop it coz it thinks ur not in a safe place for the baby to b born). So its really important u choose somewhere u wanna b and not do something just to make ur OH feel better. i know its his baby too but at the end of the day its u that has to do the labouring/birthing so it needs to b ur choice where and how that happens.


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## purple_socks

Wombat said:


> Home birth and SPD? Is anyone considering this? I had a very bad SPD with my first and it just started again...

I am! my midwife said getting a water pool was a great idea as it can really help with this...apparently epidurals aren't advised when suffereing spd so midwife said a home birth is a great way of dealing with labour if u have spd.


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## Rebaby

We are planning a homebirth!

I decided i wanted a home birth before even becoming pregnant, then in the early weeks almost talked myself out of the idea with all the "what if's" and the idea of maybe having to fight for it if i came up against opposition. However, i've spent a lot of time on the homebirth uk website and doing my research and OH has got involved and read through a few things too and we're both very keen for me to have LO at home.

I haven't told many people of our plans yet, mentioned it to the midwife at my booking in appointment but i'm moving out of area in a few weeks so she said i'll have to discuss it with my new team of midwives after i move. Told my mum who's comment was "you're braver than me!"?! and my best friend, who thinks it is a fantastic idea but wanted to know if i thought i would cope...?!?! :dohh: I'm not telling anyone in work, as i am a neonatal nurse and all we see is the abnormal, all day every day we see everything that can possibly go wrong with pregnancy and labour and delivery, and i just know some of the horror stories people will come out with so i'm keeping it to myself! It's our baby and our decision and we're pretty well informed so i am feeling quite good about it all really.

I am unsure whether i want a water birth or not, it seems most people who chose to birth at home do so in a birthing pool, i was wondering if anyone knows the pros and cons? I have read that the water is supposed to help move things along but whenever i imagine myself in labour i imagine myself pacing about and standing and kneeling and squatting etc, and i don't know if i might feel a bit trapped in a birthing pool? I suppose you don't know until you're actually in that situation, so we may end up buying a big paddling pool just in case i fancy it!

We also have pets, a dog and a cat. OH is planning to be with me throughout labour (providing he doesn't get freaked out/pass out etc!) and my closest friend is going to be 'on hand' i.e. in the house but not necessarily "at the front line", i think initially she'll be in charge of making cups of tea, answering the phone, and keeping the animals under control, and then if she feels like it, and i want here there, she might come see where the action is at. Maybe not though as she is extremely squeamish! So we'll see.

I don't know whereabouts in the house i'm planning to give birth as we're moving in just a few weeks so i want to wait until we're moved and see how i feel then.


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## Cariad_bach

Rebaby said:


> I am unsure whether i want a water birth or not, it seems most people who chose to birth at home do so in a birthing pool, i was wondering if anyone knows the pros and cons? I have read that the water is supposed to help move things along but whenever i imagine myself in labour i imagine myself pacing about and standing and kneeling and squatting etc, and i don't know if i might feel a bit trapped in a birthing pool? I suppose you don't know until you're actually in that situation, so we may end up buying a big paddling pool just in case i fancy it!
> .


I didn't use a pool but only because im not a huge fan of water .. i used a sofa bed to give birth on and it was great.


You'Ve plenty of time to sort out the rest of the details but it sounds like you know what you want for the most part, as for people who say "you're braver than me" etc i dont get that lol .. im a huge wimp whos scared of hospitals thats all lol


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## Wombat

purple_socks said:


> Wombat said:
> 
> 
> Home birth and SPD? Is anyone considering this? I had a very bad SPD with my first and it just started again...
> 
> I am! my midwife said getting a water pool was a great idea as it can really help with this...apparently epidurals aren't advised when suffereing spd so midwife said a home birth is a great way of dealing with labour if u have spd.Click to expand...

I am thinking about a pool as well. I hope you don't mind me asking, how bad is your SPD? With my DS I had it so bad that in the end I ended up on crutches (couldn't sit/turn, not even talking about walking) and I am so scared it is going to progress to that again...


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## purple_socks

Wombat said:


> I am thinking about a pool as well. I hope you don't mind me asking, how bad is your SPD? With my DS I had it so bad that in the end I ended up on crutches (couldn't sit/turn, not even talking about walking) and I am so scared it is going to progress to that again...

I don't really know how bad it is...i've never had it before but it started quite midly in late first tri but barely bothered me however its since got to the point where i can't walk very far (some days i can't make the shop at the end of the road without nearly crying but other days r better if i haven't been doing much the day b4) or stand up long enough to wash up/cook :-( i saw a physio therapist who offered me a zimmer frame!!! but i knew i just wouldn't use it for fear of being seen! i'm thinking of going back to see her and ask for some less embarrasing crutches!


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## star-dust

*Rebaby Im having a homebirth without involvin a water birth but I may have a bath before hand, but depends how quick things develop, but the actual thought of givin birth in water does not appeal to me at all

this may sound a bit random and Ill try explain best way I can, but In my view if your in hospital and something goes wrong, you will hav to wait whilst they set stuff up etc to sort you out, ie if you suddenly need a c section or anything (worst case scenario) then whilst thats being set up your waiting round in a room,
if you at home and something like this came up, in the time you would be waiting in hospital you can be taken to the hopsital..provding you dont live to far does that make any sense?

when do we need to start talkin to our m/w about this Im seein mine again at 27 weeks do we need to talk about it then?

thanks for all the replies on this!*


_OO found some blinkies dont know if of any good to anyone for there siggys?_

https://dl2.glitter-graphics.net/pub/2063/2063542g94ds7m5je.gif

https://i355.photobucket.com/albums/r478/sea-fairy/homebirth-1.gif

https://i355.photobucket.com/albums/r478/sea-fairy/homebirths.gif

https://i355.photobucket.com/albums/r478/sea-fairy/thhomebirths.gif

https://i355.photobucket.com/albums/r478/sea-fairy/thhomebirth.gif

https://i355.photobucket.com/albums/r478/sea-fairy/thAnimationhb.gif

https://i355.photobucket.com/albums/r478/sea-fairy/homebirthed.gif

https://i355.photobucket.com/albums/r478/sea-fairy/WhyHospBirth.gif

https://i355.photobucket.com/albums/r478/sea-fairy/homebirth.png


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## purple_socks

star-dust said:


> when do we need to start talkin to our m/w about this Im seein mine again at 27 weeks do we need to talk about it then?
> 
> thanks for all the replies on this![/COLOR][/I][/B]
> 
> 
> star-dust said:
> 
> 
> I told mine around 27 weeks...she said to hang on til my last growth scan which is at 34 weeks then book everything then. Apparently theres no need to rush but then again if you've made ur mind up theres no need to wait. i was told i can always change my mind and go to hospital even if its right at the last minute or halfway thro the birth!
> 
> where did u get ur homebirth blinky? i want one!Click to expand...


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## lindypops

I had my 28 week appointment yesterday - she said we would discuss my birth plan at my next (36 week) appointment, then organise her home visit for 37 weeks.

She also advised me to write to the director of my local hostpial trust to assert my right for a hb.

I have tentatively organised to borrow a birthing pool from the local NCT homebirth group (for nothing!), which is sorted, so assuming it all goes according to plan I'm pretty much sorted.


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## star-dust

purple_socks said:


> I told mine around 27 weeks...she said to hang on til my last growth scan which is at 34 weeks then book everything then. Apparently theres no need to rush but then again if you've made ur mind up theres no need to wait. i was told i can always change my mind and go to hospital even if its right at the last minute or halfway thro the birth!
> 
> where did u get ur homebirth blinky? i want one!

***has images of halfway through pushin suddenly changing mind and wanting to go hospital..One baby half in half out and one determined women whos changed her mind!

Blinkies if you right click and save to your comp then upload to photo bucket and use the code as normal or if you dont have PB Ill link you to the ones in my account

xx*


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## Cariad_bach

star-dust said:


> purple_socks said:
> 
> 
> I told mine around 27 weeks...she said to hang on til my last growth scan which is at 34 weeks then book everything then. Apparently theres no need to rush but then again if you've made ur mind up theres no need to wait. i was told i can always change my mind and go to hospital even if its right at the last minute or halfway thro the birth!
> 
> where did u get ur homebirth blinky? i want one!
> 
> ***has images of halfway through pushin suddenly changing mind and wanting to go hospital..One baby half in half out and one determined women whos changed her mind!
> 
> *Click to expand...


:rofl: :rofl: Dont joke about it ... thats exactly what i tried to do last time :dohh:

I decided to have a little mini fit and scream for a Ambulance saying that id changed my mind and wanted to go to the hospital...

..at the time i was 10cm dilated and just starting the pushing stage ... it was only a little moment of silliness tho and i didn't mean it .... the look on the MW's face was classic tho :muaha: :rofl:


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## star-dust

Cariad_bach said:


> :rofl: :rofl: Dont joke about it ... thats exactly what i tried to do last time :dohh:
> 
> I decided to have a little mini fit and scream for a Ambulance saying that id changed my mind and wanted to go to the hospital...
> 
> ..at the time i was 10cm dilated and just starting the pushing stage ... it was only a little moment of silliness tho and i didn't mean it .... the look on the MW's face was classic tho :muaha: :rofl:


OMG Im sorry but :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## marley2580

I just want to let everyone know that even if it all goes tits up and you have to transfer, you can still feel positive about your birth if you have supportive MWs. I ended up with a section after transferring last time, but because we tried everything I still feel positive about things.


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## star-dust

*OK random question.....what about your neighbours? My hubby wants to prewarn mine incase, either I end up screamin or he screams from me rippin his manhood off............(in which case would prob be hard to tell my screams from his!!)*


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## purple_socks

on the subject of wanting a last minute transfer: i read this birth story from www.homebirth.org (a woman named Julie Kennedy under the hypnobirthing homebirth stories section) and it really made me chuckle

"Finally about 2.00am I got very upset and cried and said I couldn't stand it any more and we would have to get up and go into hospital and I would have an epidural. It did cross my mind at this stage that the symptoms I was showing were almost exactly like those of transition - but obviously I couldn't be in transition yet as the contractions were too far apart and not painful enough .

Thankfully for me, Donald was much more in touch with what was really going on than I was, and he guessed straight away that I actually was in transition and that things were about to move into the final stages. When I told him my plan to get up and go into hospital he said 'OK that sounds a good idea - let's get up, get dressed and go and have a picnic on the floor of the lounge'. For some reason I didn't see any conflict between my plan and his, and I agreed to do this without any further fuss. He told me afterwards that he was convinced that if he could get me up and some food into me I'd be fine for the rest of the labour. As it turned out he was completely right."

i love it...thats the kind of mad conversation i could see myself having with my DH mid labour..me saying something like i give up and we should go to hospital and him convincing me i actually suggested a carpet picnic!


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## Cariad_bach

star-dust said:


> *OK random question.....what about your neighbours? My hubby wants to prewarn mine incase, either I end up screamin or he screams from me rippin his manhood off............(in which case would prob be hard to tell my screams from his!!)*

All my neighbours knew last time and will know again but we all get on quite well anyway, ones even god mum to my youngest .... 3 of my neighbours saw the MW arrive and hung about outside on the green waiting for news and popped their heads round the door to say congrats once she was born.

This time my closest neighbour is also pregnant so ive promised not to scream to loudly in case it puts her off lol






Yep purple_socks thats pretty much how things happened with me except my OH is more of a "dont be so silly and get on with pushing will ya" kind of bloke lol


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## ellie

Hmmm! i wondered about neighbours too! i dont know mine well enough to broach it! it is a good idea to tell them though I suppose (in case they panic and ring the police :rofl:)

well after being at the hospital for 3 hours today for dating scan, me and OH most definitely wanting home birth now! just an awful place ... :shudder:


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## purple_socks

i never gave much thought to my neighbours...they're both quite old and deaf but i might tell them nearer the time just incase i freak them out!


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## cinnamongirl

I hate my neighbours, so I could really care less if they are disturbed or not! It would serve them right for being so nosey all the time!


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## lovedupgirl

So I sat my OH down last night and basically said"You are being unsupportive and totally unreasonable you have not even looked at any information so how can you make an informed decision :rofl:"
Also explained to him that yes his opinion is important but that the most important thing is that I have a positive birth experience and a healthy baby at the end of it, told him how the hospital enviroment only adds to my anxiety and that stress causes more pain.
He has now looked at all the positive info about homebirth,said he will support me 100% and that he is sorry for being so selfish.
Men just need a little nudge in the right direction sometimes!:rofl:


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## Rebaby

Yay :happydance: it's great he finally listened, i am dead pleased for you!


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## redpoppy

lovedupgirl said:


> So I sat my OH down last night and basically said"You are being unsupportive and totally unreasonable you have not even looked at any information so how can you make an informed decision :rofl:"
> Also explained to him that yes his opinion is important but that the most important thing is that I have a positive birth experience and a healthy baby at the end of it, told him how the hospital enviroment only adds to my anxiety and that stress causes more pain.
> He has now looked at all the positive info about homebirth,said he will support me 100% and that he is sorry for being so selfish.
> Men just need a little nudge in the right direction sometimes!:rofl:

AW BLESS HIM! 

well done missy. I'm glad he's come round. My husband has doubts but I think he realises I'm stubborn and I generally read up a lot about stuff so he knows i'm not going to just go into this on a whim.


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## lovedupgirl

It doesnt help that me and OH are both as stubborn as each other!:rofl:


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## lindypops

That's great, lovedupgirl. I'm so pleased he's realised how important this is that you get to make the decision.

My DH has been reading more about the birth - he says the more he reads, the more he feels sorry for me, so the more likely I am to get to do what I need. Bascially, I'm going to sort out the birth plan then tell him what I want to happen - and he's going to help make it happen!


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## star-dust

lovedupgirl thats great news, glad hes finally coming round slowly, like you say all it takes is a nudge (or sometimes a heavin great boot) for them to realise!!!


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## lovedupgirl

Thanks girls!:hugs:

Is your OH more comfortable with the idea yet stardust?


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## Cariad_bach

Lovedupgirl im glad he's seen the light xxx


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## MrsSixx

I read this thread with interest as I had never considered a homebirth before my first midwife appointment on Thursday. Pretty much the first thing she said to me when she came into the house was that she recommended I have a homebirth. The look of horror that came across my face probably said it all. Being ignorant about HB and having just renovated my house all I could think was shit, piss and blood all up the walls, on the carpet, EVERYWHERE. My son and dog traumatised. The mattress having to be taken outside and burned lol. In retrospect though maybe it's worth considering. This is my second, my first was born 12 years ago. No epidural, no assisted delivery and my labour lasted 2 days - if it takes that long this time I would much rather be at home. The hospital is 5 mins drive in an ambulance if anything went amiss. Plenty of room for a birthing pool and nice neighbours, one of whom is a midwife. Hmmm, decisions.


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## purple_socks

Lovedupgirl...thats really great news! glad ur OH listened to u and is now supporting u. yay


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## lovedupgirl

MrsSixx said:


> I read this thread with interest as I had never considered a homebirth before my first midwife appointment on Thursday. Pretty much the first thing she said to me when she came into the house was that she recommended I have a homebirth. The look of horror that came across my face probably said it all. Being ignorant about HB and having just renovated my house all I could think was shit, piss and blood all up the walls, on the carpet, EVERYWHERE. My son and dog traumatised. The mattress having to be taken outside and burned lol. In retrospect though maybe it's worth considering. This is my second, my first was born 12 years ago. No epidural, no assisted delivery and my labour lasted 2 days - if it takes that long this time I would much rather be at home. The hospital is 5 mins drive in an ambulance if anything went amiss. Plenty of room for a birthing pool and nice neighbours, one of whom is a midwife. Hmmm, decisions.

Homebirth is not as messy as you would think hun!As long as you have plastic sheets to protect your floor, bed etc it will all be fine, at the time it seems like you are losing gallons of blood but after looking at all 3 of my previous labour notes I actually only lost 200ml each time which is nothing really.
You can order homebirth packs online that include waterproof sheeting and the same plastic backed pads they use in the hospital for under your bum :blush:


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## foxylady

guess i didnt tell you all details of my home birth?

I had littlelest madame on the bed which i brought a good protective sheet for ( not plastic), the mattress didn't get ruined it was fine, use an old sheet on top not one you don't want to get ruined! lol 

Bath is ok, I think usually just to cope with the pain at the start rather than further on in the labour, though it isnt dangerous to you or baba, so basically what ever's comfy.

you need to be comfy so unless hubby wants to pay out for some nice padding for the floor, bed may be the best option? unless you maybe stand or crouch supported?

sofa?

spare bed?


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## star-dust

MrsSixx said:


> I read this thread with interest as I had never considered a homebirth before my first midwife appointment on Thursday. Pretty much the first thing she said to me when she came into the house was that she recommended I have a homebirth. The look of horror that came across my face probably said it all. Being ignorant about HB and having just renovated my house all I could think was shit, piss and blood all up the walls, on the carpet, EVERYWHERE. My son and dog traumatised. The mattress having to be taken outside and burned lol. In retrospect though maybe it's worth considering. This is my second, my first was born 12 years ago. No epidural, no assisted delivery and my labour lasted 2 days - if it takes that long this time I would much rather be at home. The hospital is 5 mins drive in an ambulance if anything went amiss. Plenty of room for a birthing pool and nice neighbours, one of whom is a midwife. Hmmm, decisions.

Nice image! Seriously I have been told its not that bad and the m/ws are good at cleanin up. but im sure my hubby will spot something they miss!!

I have also spoken to him last night about what if m/w didnt make it in time....he went white as a sheet and said noooo foookin way!! :rofl:

More linkies.....(facebook ones)

https://www.facebook.com/home.php#/...c45e65423f67195ca7&gid=18842730816&ref=search

https://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=18842730816#/group.php?gid=2207943164


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## star-dust

foxylady said:


> guess i didnt tell you all details of my home birth?
> 
> I had littlelest madame on the bed which i brought a good protective sheet for ( not plastic), the mattress didn't get ruined it was fine, use an old sheet on top not one you don't want to get ruined! lol
> 
> Bath is ok, I think usually just to cope with the pain at the start rather than further on in the labour, though it isnt dangerous to you or baba, so basically what ever's comfy.
> 
> you need to be comfy so unless hubby wants to pay out for some nice padding for the floor, bed may be the best option? unless you maybe stand or crouch supported?
> 
> sofa?
> 
> spare bed?


Nope!!! Just that you really enjoyed it and would reccomend it (not really something you wana go into detail when theres blokes round anyway! mine would prob faint you know what hes like!)

x


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## foxylady

sorry forgot to say, thats meant for you stardust


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## foxylady

lmao! now that would be funny having said that i've got a strange feeling mine would be the same, and yeah pain aside I did enjoy it. It was sort of comforting to be in my own surrondings, midwife had me walking around a bit though coz, jas had her face round the wrong way!


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## star-dust

foxylady said:


> lmao! now that would be funny having said that i've got a strange feeling mine would be the same, and yeah pain aside I did enjoy it. It was sort of comforting to be in my own surrondings, midwife had me walking around a bit though coz, jas had her face round the wrong way!


Now why doesnt that surprise me about that lil rascel!!!!!!


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## lovedupgirl

My OH isn't comfortable with me labouring in our bedroom says it is too small but the main reason is that he doesn't want midwifes poking round our room :rofl:MEN what are they like!I dont think the MW going to be too concerened with going through his stuff or critisizing the decor :rofl:
Think I will probably labour in the living room!


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## lindypops

Small spaces are more comforting - though I don't think I'll be having my LO down the back of the cooker!

Glad you're considering it, Mrssix, I'm going to get a birthing pool and buy lots of cheap shower curtains from Asda. I've also been told that mw's pride themselves on leaving houses as clean as when they arrived - mind you, that means my house will remain a tip!


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## GersPrincess

Can anybody request a homebirth? I have been thinking about this on and off since I fell pregnant, and I'm going to ask my midwife tomorrow at my 22 wk appointment. I have been classed as high risk though because I have a high bmi, so I wonder what she'll say. Certainly seems to me that the benefits would outweigh the risks though.


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## lindypops

Legally, they can't stop you insisting on a homebirth. However, you need to weigh up the risks to you, I'd take lots of advice if you're already deemed high-risk, look for research etc.

However, I have heard stories where people have been misguided as to the exact risks, to make them more likely NOT to opt for the homebirth in similar situations. i really don't know how true they are though.


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## lovedupgirl

Im soo looking foward to having my LO at home but getting worried about the MW situation!I dont want to be told there is no-one availible to come out to me and have to go into hospital last minute like last time, Iv'e got visions of arguing with them until they send someone out and then having my baby in a hostile atmosphere!


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## GersPrincess

I know, its really hard, but they are literally only classing me as high risk, because I've gained a couple of stone since my last pregnancy. Both of my other labours I used gas and air (+ pethidine with my first, but never will again) and gave birth with no intervention at all. I've not had any medical probs in this pregnancy so far, and am fit and healthy, so I'm going to ask whether I can have one.
I really like the thought of giving birth in the same room that I conceived!!


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## lovedupgirl

Also to you girls who are planning a homebirth do you have a list of things you will need?I havent a clue!


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## lovedupgirl

I understand where your coming from with the pethidine issue!It makes me feel like im not really there really woozy and horrible!


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## GersPrincess

I had an allergic reaction to it.. stupid Doctor, I am also allergic to codeine, which is from the same family, but they didnt pick that up!!


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## lovedupgirl

typical doctors!


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## star-dust

lovedupgirl said:


> Im soo looking foward to having my LO at home but getting worried about the MW situation!I dont want to be told there is no-one availible to come out to me and have to go into hospital last minute like last time, Iv'e got visions of arguing with them until they send someone out and then having my baby in a hostile atmosphere!

*Must admit I have thought about this myself recently, when we called to see a m/w a few weeks back we were told a m/w wasnt avaliable coz one lady was in labour, yep one lady! How would they cope if they had 2?!
So a bit concerned I may also be told ones not avaliable, I wouldnt mind tbh, as this isnt my first and my last was pretty easy (asleep through most of it) so i dont mind waitin till last mo when they will have to send someone out, or gettin a ambulance to deal with it, Its just hubby I worry about, hes already said home or hospital he aint going south!! no way so hope in hell chance of him doing anything!

Another thought, re birth home or hospital, when almost delivering has anyone thought about maybe delivering it themselves, ie instead of the midwife gettin baby and pullin it onto you, you puttin your own hands down and bringing the baby up onto your front yourself?
Its just something i have thought about and could be cool, maybe in a strange way? 

I like gers idea, give birth in the room you concieved in (hmm star-dust now would that be the bedroom, lounge, kitchen sideboard or the shower.....!!!) so to add to that almost delivering your own baby who needs midwifes?!!!?!*


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## lozzy21

GersPrincess said:


> Can anybody request a homebirth? I have been thinking about this on and off since I fell pregnant, and I'm going to ask my midwife tomorrow at my 22 wk appointment. I have been classed as high risk though because I have a high bmi, so I wonder what she'll say. Certainly seems to me that the benefits would outweigh the risks though.

A high bmi has no affect on your labour. Iv been looking into this as my bmi is 40, im loosing wait at the mo and am not going to be trying for 2 years so im going to be skinny by then but was looking just incase i fell pg now. 
https://www.homebirth.org.uk/

Go to the side and it says something like "you cant have a home birth because" and theres a bit about being overweight.


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## Cariad_bach

lovedupgirl said:


> Also to you girls who are planning a homebirth do you have a list of things you will need?I haven't a clue!


FOr me with my last and with this one the list was ...

Old towels (for gunk and mess)

Clean towels (for Baby)

Shower curtains (for over the mattress)

Extra heater (even in summer your room can be classed as to cold for you LO, my last was born on a HOT summers eve in July and i had to have the heating on)

Torch/lamp (so the MW can look to see if you need stitches)

Moses basket set up to put baby in,

Large absorbent pads for under your bum for when your waters go or when the worse of the mess comes out (like these https://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&item=120407792586 .. you dont have to have them but i found them really useful .. especially if you wee a bit or somthing, the MW can just keep changing them for you)

Loads of tea and biscuits for your MW's!

Thats it really other than stuff you need anyway like clothes for your baby and nighties, camera, music etc,
Unless your having a water birth that is lol






GersPrincess said:


> I know, its really hard, but they are literally only classing me as high risk, because I've gained a couple of stone since my last pregnancy. Both of my other labours I used gas and air (+ pethidine with my first, but never will again) and gave birth with no intervention at all. I've not had any medical probs in this pregnancy so far, and am fit and healthy, so I'm going to ask whether I can have one.
> I really like the thought of giving birth in the same room that I conceived!!

Good luck hun, i hope you can find a supportive MW xxxx






lovedupgirl said:


> Im soo looking foward to having my LO at home but getting worried about the MW situation!I dont want to be told there is no-one availible to come out to me and have to go into hospital last minute like last time, Iv'e got visions of arguing with them until they send someone out and then having my baby in a hostile atmosphere!

My MW told me that it cant/wont happen ... but worse case scenario she told me to phone to get a ambulance and that the ambulance people will assist until a MW can get there xxx


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## lindypops

lovedupgirl said:


> Im soo looking foward to having my LO at home but getting worried about the MW situation!I dont want to be told there is no-one availible to come out to me and have to go into hospital last minute like last time, Iv'e got visions of arguing with them until they send someone out and then having my baby in a hostile atmosphere!

This is exactly what I've heard - they don't tell you the possibility of not getting a hb exists until after you are 37 weeks, as you are less likely to want to put up a fight - and when you make the call, they may say it's the wrong time of day/they are understaffed due to holiday or sick.

My mw (who has had two hb's herself and is extremely supportive) told me that, depending on when I call, I may be told there are no mw's available and I need to come to hospital.

When I asked her what would happen if I stand my ground and say I'm not coming in, she said that they find someone and send them - poss agency mw's. Not knowing my mw is what would happen in hospital anyway, so that wouldn't be the end of the world as far as I'm concerned.

And regarding having to fight for it - don't engage in a discussion. Tell them that their staffing problems are not your concern and you will be expecting a mw. Better still, tell them your OH is speaking on behalf of your family and get him to insist! (This is what I've been told by more than one person.)

I doubt that you will encounter resentment from the mw's who do eventually show up - I think it is a political issue that happens above their level of responsibility i.e. the trust, who are business managers not medical practitioners.

I am planning to write to the CEO of our local hospital trust, cc the head of midwifery there and my local MP to inform them of my decision and my expectation of their support. Getting this in writing (which I know I will, with persistence - again, what I've been told by others) will help, I think.

Phew!

PS AIMS website is really good for this info and the lady in charge (Beverley something) is quoted in loads of books I've read as being someone who will support you if you are being given the brush-off.


----------



## GersPrincess

lozzy21 said:


> A high bmi has no affect on your labour. Iv been looking into this as my bmi is 40, im loosing wait at the mo and am not going to be trying for 2 years so im going to be skinny by then but was looking just incase i fell pg now.
> https://www.homebirth.org.uk/
> 
> Go to the side and it says something like "you cant have a home birth because" and theres a bit about being overweight.

That's fab, thanks! I've had a good read through of them and I've crossed my fingers that I have an understanding midwife tomorrow!! 


And Star-dust, whilst I'm not quite as adventurous as you obviously are, mine was conceived under the christmas tree in the lounge! :rofl:


----------



## star-dust

GersPrincess said:


> And Star-dust, whilst I'm not quite as adventurous as you obviously are, mine was conceived under the christmas tree in the lounge! :rofl:

:rofl::rofl::rofl: Either your very tiny people or you have one hugemongus xmas tree!!!!!


----------



## GersPrincess

:rofl: I just spat water all over myself!! :rofl:


----------



## GersPrincess

We're not that tiny, we just had a gigantic Christmas tree.. has to be to fit all the kids' presents under it.. and we weren't literally under, under it, oh, I cant explain it, too tired.. wish me luck for an understanding nice midwife who likes homebirths tomorrow please!


----------



## star-dust

GersPrincess said:


> We're not that tiny, we just had a gigantic Christmas tree.. has to be to fit all the kids' presents under it.. and we weren't literally under, under it, oh, I cant explain it, too tired.. wish me luck for an understanding nice midwife who likes homebirths tomorrow please!

***hands over a cloth and bib



good luck tomorrow, let us know her thoughts etc, would love to hear, (N thats a geunine comment!)


----------



## Cariad_bach

GersPrincess said:


> We're not that tiny, we just had a gigantic Christmas tree.. has to be to fit all the kids' presents under it.. and we weren't literally under, under it, oh, I cant explain it, too tired.. wish me luck for an understanding nice midwife who likes homebirths tomorrow please!

Hope it all goes well today hun xxxx


----------



## GersPrincess

I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can have my homebirth! :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:



sorry, I cant help it. I saw a really, really, really lovely midwife today, who said I am totally fit and healthy, and based on my previous labours she cant find any reasons or problems to suggest I have to be in hospital. So, if I want to go ahead, then I've got the green light. She's going to talk to me more about it at my 34 week appointment, and help me plan it, which gives me lots of time to work on hubby (shouldnt take too long, he never listens anyway). 

Obviously, she said if my GTT comes back high, or I develop any probems, or baby is breech, then we may have to reassess, but that's fine by me.

Its just so nice to meet someone who isn't put off by the fact I'm 14 stone and pregnant!! Honestly, I feel like dancing in the rain, which I may well do once I've picked hubby up from work tonight!!

I'm away to cook him a roast, so I can butter him up for the big homebirth chat tonight!!

Thanks for all your advice :happydance:


----------



## purple_socks

GersPrincess said:


> I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> I can have my homebirth! :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:
> 
> 
> 
> sorry, I cant help it. I saw a really, really, really lovely midwife today, who said I am totally fit and healthy, and based on my previous labours she cant find any reasons or problems to suggest I have to be in hospital. So, if I want to go ahead, then I've got the green light. She's going to talk to me more about it at my 34 week appointment, and help me plan it, which gives me lots of time to work on hubby (shouldnt take too long, he never listens anyway).
> 
> Obviously, she said if my GTT comes back high, or I develop any probems, or baby is breech, then we may have to reassess, but that's fine by me.
> 
> Its just so nice to meet someone who isn't put off by the fact I'm 14 stone and pregnant!! Honestly, I feel like dancing in the rain, which I may well do once I've picked hubby up from work tonight!!
> 
> I'm away to cook him a roast, so I can butter him up for the big homebirth chat tonight!!
> 
> Thanks for all your advice :happydance:

yay congrats...fingers crossed ur GTT will b fine x x


----------



## Cariad_bach

GersPrincess thats fantastic news :happydance:
Im so pleased your MW was nice and positive about it .... fingers crossed for your GTT etc ... im really pleased for you hun xxxx


----------



## MummyToAmberx

Im still undecided.


----------



## Cariad_bach

MummyToAmberx said:


> Im still undecided.

DO you mind me asking why hun? ...sorry dont want to be nosey :blush: just though it may help to type it all out and see it written down xxx


----------



## star-dust

GersPrincess said:


> I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> I can have my homebirth! :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:
> 
> 
> Thanks for all your advice :happydance:

thats fantastic news, Im glad it went the way it did, really pleased for you xx


----------



## lozzy21

GersPrincess said:


> Its just so nice to meet someone who isn't put off by the fact I'm 14 stone and pregnant!!
> 
> :




Is that all you weight? thats nothing compared to me!


----------



## purple_socks

GersPrincess said:


> Its just so nice to meet someone who isn't put off by the fact I'm 14 stone and pregnant!!
> 
> :



I weigh more than that hun and i've not had any probs so far telling my MW i'm having a home birth. nor has anyone said i'm high risk or anything.


----------



## Misty

I'm really interested in having a homebirth. It is still early for me, 7 weeks!! But the thought of a hospital birth fills me with... dread? ....maybe fear is too strong... stress, anyway. I have had three hospital births (14, 11 and 9 years ago) and none of them were great. 

I am a bit overweight, 12 and a half stone, and my blood pressure is around the 170/90 mark. (I haven't had it taken in this pregnancy yet) The practise nurse just told me to lose a stone and do some yoga! So I'm not on medication for my BP. I wonder if this might put me at a disadvantage re homebirth?

Also, at what stage do you have to say "I want a homebirth!"? With my other pregnancies, I attended the midwife clinic at the GPs and the crazy busy midwife clinic at the hospital! Do homebirthers do that too? Would I see the usual midwives that I would see if I was going for a hospital birth? Or is it all different? Sorry for all the silly questions! I'd just like to know what I'm up against. I've always assumed asking for a homebirth was like asking for the moon, what with the staffing problems!

I find this thread fascinating and will keep referring to it as the weeks go on *fingers crossed*.

Thanks girls, and good luck all of you!

:hug:


----------



## Cariad_bach

Misty said:


> I'm really interested in having a home birth. It is still early for me, 7 weeks!! But the thought of a hospital birth fills me with... dread? ....maybe fear is too strong... stress, anyway. I have had three hospital births (14, 11 and 9 years ago) and none of them were great.
> 
> I am a bit overweight, 12 and a half stone, and my blood pressure is around the 170/90 mark. (I haven't had it taken in this pregnancy yet) The practise nurse just told me to lose a stone and do some yoga! So I'm not on medication for my BP. I wonder if this might put me at a disadvantage re home birth?
> 
> Also, at what stage do you have to say "I want a home birth!"? With my other pregnancies, I attended the midwife clinic at the GPs and the crazy busy midwife clinic at the hospital! Do homebirthers do that too? Would I see the usual midwives that I would see if I was going for a hospital birth? Or is it all different? Sorry for all the silly questions! I'd just like to know what I'm up against. I've always assumed asking for a homebirth was like asking for the moon, what with the staffing problems!
> 
> I find this thread fascinating and will keep referring to it as the weeks go on *fingers crossed*.
> 
> Thanks girls, and good luck all of you!
> 
> :hug:


Hi hun,
I cant help re the blood pressure because ive know idea ... at 12 and a half stone you surly wouldn't be classed as over weight tho.

Where i live home birth are encouraged .. the MW suggests them so it may not be like asking for the moon.

Ive never seen hospital MW's anyway, im not sure why but even with my hospital births ive only ever seen MW's attached to my doctors surgery .... 

but with me the whole process from booking in appointment through to going into labour has been the same with both hospital births and the last and this home birth. .. the only difference has been when i go in to labour i phone them to come to me rather than get in a car to go to them.

I told my MW at my booking in appointment that i was wanting to plan towards a home birth depending on how the pregnancy went but we didn't really confirm it and alert the other MW's to my wishes until i got to 32 weeks,

If i was you hun id mention the subject to your MW just to get some answers to your questions and see what kind of a reaction you get ... good luck xxxx


----------



## bex

I had a home birth with my daughter and i would highly recommend.
It was the best experience ever. I gave birth to Niamh on our bed and within 1/2 hour or so we were both tucked up in bed together with our midwives cleaning up and making tea! 
There was hardly any mess and the midwife took everything away. I wasn't rushed once, i could do what i wanted to. My midwife stayed for 3 hours after and she stayed in the kitchen doing paper work and only came to check on us a few times. She also called to check on us on her way home. So i had lots of support afterwards.

I had a box full of towels, candles, music etc and forgot all about using them! As the birth was only 5 hours from the first twinge.

If you want to ask me anything, i'd be more than willing to help.


----------



## Mrs. JJ

That's amazing Bex, thanks for sharing. Everyday I'm more convinced that a homebirth is for me!


----------



## Misty

Thanks Cariad_bach and Bex. I'll probably have loads more questions as the weeks and months go on! :) Bex, your daughter's birth sounds wonderful!

xxx


----------



## star-dust

hiya misty, welcome to the world of wana be home birthers!
I decided pretty much from me bfp this was gonan be a home birth but at first I had to sort out and finalise a few things, so m/w put me down at booking appointment as a hospital, but when I see her next I will tell her Im wanting a homebirth!
I have many reasons for wanting one, many are pratical reasons, but a few are because as one other on here said it would be nice to give birth in a calm enviroment were you are more in control, & also to give birth in the room were you concieved....Unless your like gersprincess then it wil be under the xmas tree, in which case........:rofl:

the girls here are great for advice etc ask away anythin and they will respond which is amazing!! have a lot of respect for quite a few on ehre
Only 7 weeks, wow when are you roughly due then?

xx


----------



## GersPrincess

purple_socks said:


> I weigh more than that hun and i've not had any probs so far telling my MW i'm having a home birth. nor has anyone said i'm high risk or anything.

I was just over 16 stone when I was weighed at my booking appointment though, which at 5ft 1 put me in the hugely morbidly obese category for bmi!! I'm still obese, but I really dont like this bmi thing. I'm much fitter than a lot of my skinny minny friends, but this isnt taken into account! grrrrr


----------



## GersPrincess

Hey Star-Dust.. do you think I'll have to put a christmas tree up for my birth, to get the full effect?! :rofl:


----------



## star-dust

GersPrincess said:


> Hey Star-Dust.. do you think I'll have to put a christmas tree up for my birth, to get the full effect?! :rofl:

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## Shifter

Good luck ladies! I hope you all have wonderful home births

:hug:


----------



## purple_socks

GersPrincess said:


> purple_socks said:
> 
> 
> I weigh more than that hun and i've not had any probs so far telling my MW i'm having a home birth. nor has anyone said i'm high risk or anything.
> 
> I was just over 16 stone when I was weighed at my booking appointment though, which at 5ft 1 put me in the hugely morbidly obese category for bmi!! I'm still obese, but I really dont like this bmi thing. I'm much fitter than a lot of my skinny minny friends, but this isnt taken into account! grrrrrClick to expand...

I quite agree! i'm 5ft 1 and was 14 and a half stone at the start (god knows what i am now!) so i'm with u in the morbidly obese catagory but i've always been fitter than most of my friends. tis silly coz i've never had any trouble with my blood pressure, GTT came back fine, haven't had any probs in pregnancy so far dunno why bmi is considered an issue especially for a home birth where ur not gonna b having medication etc...i don't get what the problem with being over weight at a homebirth is...i've been over weight at home for the last 9 months surely the last few hours wont make a difference?! :rofl:


----------



## MummyToAmberx

Cariad_bach said:


> MummyToAmberx said:
> 
> 
> Im still undecided.
> 
> DO you mind me asking why hun? ...sorry dont want to be nosey :blush: just though it may help to type it all out and see it written down xxxClick to expand...

I dont know where start in all honestly. So might be all over the place.
I kinda enjoyed the hospital birth with Amber. Couldnt fault much, fact i was out so quickly made it all even better. 
Now because ive moved 250miles from where i had Amber its whole different hospital, id like to try it all out. (More of a final choice of that probably be made once ive had a tour around) 1 half why im undecided.
Next is i live in a rented house, whether i want to labour give birth in house that isnt mine im bit iffy about. I dont really fancy having midwifes present the whole time watching over me, where as in hospital they come and go. I liked being left to it, unless i needed someone. 
My OH isnt 1 of these totally supportive pregnancy blokes. I dont think he'd be keen on me having homebirth (I hadnt really talked it through with him though) 
I mentiond it to my mother, she wasnt very supportive towards it, that kinda knocked me back on the idea. Then again id probably feel the same at her age, probably never hearing someone have homebirth before.
Lastly, i didnt get on well with G&A, wouldnt say no to trying it again. I really want pethidine again, i dont know if you can have it at homebirth.


----------



## Shifter

MummyToAmberx said:


> I dont know where start in all honestly. So might be all over the place.
> I kinda enjoyed the hospital birth with Amber. Couldnt fault much, fact i was out so quickly made it all even better.
> Now because ive moved 250miles from where i had Amber its whole different hospital, id like to try it all out. (More of a final choice of that probably be made once ive had a tour around) 1 half why im undecided.
> Next is i live in a rented house, whether i want to labour give birth in house that isnt mine im bit iffy about. I dont really fancy having midwifes present the whole time watching over me, where as in hospital they come and go. I liked being left to it, unless i needed someone.
> My OH isnt 1 of these totally supportive pregnancy blokes. I dont think he'd be keen on me having homebirth (I hadnt really talked it through with him though)
> I mentiond it to my mother, she wasnt very supportive towards it, that kinda knocked me back on the idea. Then again id probably feel the same at her age, probably never hearing someone have homebirth before.
> Lastly, i didnt get on well with G&A, wouldnt say no to trying it again. I really want pethidine again, i dont know if you can have it at homebirth.

Hi hun,

with labouring at home you can delay calling the MWs as long as you like and even once they arrive they may not stay if they think you still have long to go and when they do commit to staying until the end they will be as hands on or off as you like. My MWs spent most of my labour chatting to my mum in the living room while hubby and I laboured in the pool in the dining room. The major benefit over being in hospital is that, even if the MWs are not in the room with you, they are right there, two of them, without the distraction of 3 other labouring mums to look in on.

You can have pethidine if you say in advance you might require it. The MWs can get a doctor to prescribe it and have it delivered to your house in advance. As long as you're aware that pethidine is an opiate and has negative effects on your LO.

Ultimately it is your decision, not your mum's or your OH, but I do think that supportive family is really important for an enjoyable experience. Could you take your mum and OH to an appointment with your MW to talk it all out? Assuming that you have a supportive MW, that is. That way they can hear for themselves from an "expert" all the pros and hopefully ease any doubts or concerns they have about supposed risks.

My mum was supportive but very nervous about a homebirth until she talked to my very enthusiastic MW!


----------



## Cariad_bach

MummyToAmberx said:


> Cariad_bach said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> MummyToAmberx said:
> 
> 
> Im still undecided.
> 
> DO you mind me asking why hun? ...sorry dont want to be nosey :blush: just though it may help to type it all out and see it written down xxxClick to expand...
> 
> I dont know where start in all honestly. So might be all over the place.
> I kinda enjoyed the hospital birth with Amber. Couldnt fault much, fact i was out so quickly made it all even better.
> Now because ive moved 250miles from where i had Amber its whole different hospital, id like to try it all out. (More of a final choice of that probably be made once ive had a tour around) 1 half why im undecided.
> Next is i live in a rented house, whether i want to labour give birth in house that isnt mine im bit iffy about. I dont really fancy having midwifes present the whole time watching over me, where as in hospital they come and go. I liked being left to it, unless i needed someone.
> My OH isnt 1 of these totally supportive pregnancy blokes. I dont think he'd be keen on me having homebirth (I hadnt really talked it through with him though)
> I mentiond it to my mother, she wasnt very supportive towards it, that kinda knocked me back on the idea. Then again id probably feel the same at her age, probably never hearing someone have homebirth before.
> Lastly, i didnt get on well with G&A, wouldnt say no to trying it again. I really want pethidine again, i dont know if you can have it at homebirth.Click to expand...

I see what you mean hun ... 
I wouldnt have a homebirth with my 2nd because the house was rented .. just felt funny lol.

Like Shifter said tho you can have pethidine (i didnt know that last time lol) and the MW's will come, look at you and go again if your a while off ...they nip back to check on you, Once your all systems go they will leave you as much as they can, mine wondered off to the kitchen to make a brew eyc until you really need them .. then you have there 101% undivided attention.

I wouldn't care about my own mums opinion but i couldn't have done it/do it without my Oh's support i must admit.

:hugs: hopefully your visit to your new hospital will help to make your mind up for you one way or another xxx


----------



## SianMA

My preggo brain has forgotten who metioned it (sorry) but I'm also thinking about asking the midwife to be as hands off as possible so that I can catch my own baby. I've also been looking into having a physiological 3rd stage so that the cord isn't cut until bubs has had all the stem cell blood out of it.

Has anyone had any experience of either or these in a home waterbirth?


----------



## star-dust

SianMA said:


> My preggo brain has forgotten who metioned it (sorry) but I'm also thinking about asking the midwife to be as hands off as possible so that I can catch my own baby. I've also been looking into having a physiological 3rd stage so that the cord isn't cut until bubs has had all the stem cell blood out of it.
> 
> Has anyone had any experience of either or these in a home waterbirth?

that was me!! (I think unless someone else mentioned it!) gld its not just me!! I know its a random thing but I just thought I want to be the first to touch my baba if that makes any sense? 
I havent a clue what the second thing is you mention sorry!!

but yea any experiances or thoughts on this would be great!


----------



## purple_socks

SianMA said:


> My preggo brain has forgotten who metioned it (sorry) but I'm also thinking about asking the midwife to be as hands off as possible so that I can catch my own baby. I've also been looking into having a physiological 3rd stage so that the cord isn't cut until bubs has had all the stem cell blood out of it.
> 
> Has anyone had any experience of either or these in a home waterbirth?

I'm planning on having a physiological 3rd stage and a home waterbirth. i know in hospital its standard to give the injection thingy without asking- not sure what its like with home births but i'm planning on making sure the MWs know my birth plan in advance!!


----------



## lindypops

SianMA said:


> My preggo brain has forgotten who metioned it (sorry) but I'm also thinking about asking the midwife to be as hands off as possible so that I can catch my own baby. I've also been looking into having a physiological 3rd stage so that the cord isn't cut until bubs has had all the stem cell blood out of it.
> 
> Has anyone had any experience of either or these in a home waterbirth?

I'm also keen on the idea of a physiological third stage - at home they won't rush you.

At our ante natal classes, the lady who runs them said it can be easy, provided you keep the same calm focus without distractions or stress as when you delivered your LO - which shouldn't be too hard at home, esp as their won't be doctors looking at their watches and trying to hurry you along.

She also said that, while you are likely to lose a bit more blood than a managed third stage, this probably means that you will bleed less for the days/weeks (!) after, as you have already lost a bit more.

You can have a managed third stage after leaving the cord to pulse for a few minutes, btw.

I want DH to catch the baby - as I intend to breastfeed, I want him to have an 'intense' experience right at the beginning, to help him bond with her.


----------



## lindypops

star-dust said:


> SianMA said:
> 
> 
> My preggo brain has forgotten who metioned it (sorry) but I'm also thinking about asking the midwife to be as hands off as possible so that I can catch my own baby. I've also been looking into having a physiological 3rd stage so that the cord isn't cut until bubs has had all the stem cell blood out of it.
> 
> Has anyone had any experience of either or these in a home waterbirth?
> 
> that was me!! (I think unless someone else mentioned it!) gld its not just me!! I know its a random thing but I just thought I want to be the first to touch my baba if that makes any sense?
> I havent a clue what the second thing is you mention sorry!!
> 
> but yea any experiances or thoughts on this would be great!Click to expand...

The physiological third stage is where you have a natural passing of the placenta, without the injection to bring it on, and they won't pull it out either. It can take longer, but there are thought to be benefits (see my post above this one!). 'Managed' is the name of it when you have the injection, which, as someone said, is normally done without checking. So if you don't want the injection, say so!

The injection is a chemical form of the hormones which you produce when you hold and have skin-to-skin contact with your LO for the first time.


----------



## star-dust

so what does it actually do to you?! thanks for the explanation thats a huge help! I personally dont like the thought of anything being put into my body without me knowin about it, I didnt know they did this, and I have laboured before, am a tad annoyed now that i didnt know about this before!


----------



## Shifter

Not all hospitals have a managed third stage as standard practice, and I would really worry about any maternity unit that administered the syntocin without the mother's consent! It may be standard procedure in some units but they still have to advise you of what they are intending to do. I would always advise saying so upfront if you want a natural third stage but all maternity units will happily comply, although after an hour they may get twitchy if it hasn't happened yet.

Star-dust - The syntocin basically forces the placenta to separate and your body to have more contractions and push out the placenta. The MW will have to guide it out by pulling on the cord because it is basically forcing the process before your body is ready.

It was my intention to have me and hubby both "catch" the baby in the pool and to have a physiological third stage.


----------



## marley2580

While I don't intend to have a lotus birth, I do intend to deliver the placenta before the cord is cut.


----------



## lovedupgirl

So I saw my MW today and told her I had decided I want a home birth, she will not do the paperwork yet mainly because the hospital have said two of my babies have had "growth problems" they induced me with both my girls and said they would weigh under 3 pounds and be in special care.My eldest daughter weighed 6lb 7oz at birth and my last daughter weighed in quite small at 5lb 13oz, both were completely healthy at birth and needed no special care, they were both active, alert and feeding right after birth.
So basically I have been induced twice for no reason!:hissy:

My MW had a feel of my bump today and said this LO is measuring large for dates, my fundus should be up to my belly button and its like 3-4 inches higher than that!OMG am I gonna give birth to a 12 pounder, I am only 23+ weeks!

So hopefully this time the bump will measure OK and I can get my homebirth, the only thing worrying me now is the fact that my girls are usually small, so why is this one massive, have they got the sex wrong am I having a boy!

The anxiety never ends :rofl:


----------



## Shifter

Your LO almost certainly isn't big! It has been shown that the most accurate method of estimating birth weight is the mother's intuition lol! Fundal height is really just a guess and one off scans can be up to 1lb out either way :dohh:

But even if your baby is a little small or large, there is no medical reason to prevent you having a home birth. You can simply tell your MW that you will be having a home birth anyway, thank you very much. Given the actual birth weights of your previous two there is no reason to base a decision about this birth on precedent.


----------



## bex

Just wanted to add that if you want a home birth then please don't let anyone put you off. I told people i was having a home birth and the reactions i got weren't positive at all. One relation even told me that i was putting my babies life at risk!!!!

I did have a moment where i thought, can i do this, this was the day after the midwife delivered the home birth pack and i saw all the clamps and stuff (hate anything medical)

I think you will probably find that if you want to be left to your own devices then the midwife will. There was no rush for me at any point during the labour and my midwife never checked once to see how far dilated i was. It was a totally relaxed experience.

But its also important to go with the flow aswell. I planned to be mobile, wandering around all over the house and i actually ended up just staying on the bed for most of the time as that was where i was more comfy.

I personally wouldn't worry about the fact your house is rented. Mine was and i can honestly say there was no mess anywhere. The only thing that had some blood on was the duvet (my mum nipped out and got a new one) and the duvet cover that the midwife popped on a hot wash and was fine after.

The one thing that did turn my stomach was, i went to the loo after and the placenta was in a tray in the shower! I had to have a wee with my eyes closed!! And i shouted the midwife and told her not to forget it!! (i don't do well with the sight of blood!!)

Also, i did have the opportunity to deliver Niamh but i asked the midwife to do it as i didn't want to!


----------



## MummyToAmberx

Shifter said:


> MummyToAmberx said:
> 
> 
> I dont know where start in all honestly. So might be all over the place.
> I kinda enjoyed the hospital birth with Amber. Couldnt fault much, fact i was out so quickly made it all even better.
> Now because ive moved 250miles from where i had Amber its whole different hospital, id like to try it all out. (More of a final choice of that probably be made once ive had a tour around) 1 half why im undecided.
> Next is i live in a rented house, whether i want to labour give birth in house that isnt mine im bit iffy about. I dont really fancy having midwifes present the whole time watching over me, where as in hospital they come and go. I liked being left to it, unless i needed someone.
> My OH isnt 1 of these totally supportive pregnancy blokes. I dont think he'd be keen on me having homebirth (I hadnt really talked it through with him though)
> I mentiond it to my mother, she wasnt very supportive towards it, that kinda knocked me back on the idea. Then again id probably feel the same at her age, probably never hearing someone have homebirth before.
> Lastly, i didnt get on well with G&A, wouldnt say no to trying it again. I really want pethidine again, i dont know if you can have it at homebirth.
> 
> Hi hun,
> 
> with labouring at home you can delay calling the MWs as long as you like and even once they arrive they may not stay if they think you still have long to go and when they do commit to staying until the end they will be as hands on or off as you like. My MWs spent most of my labour chatting to my mum in the living room while hubby and I laboured in the pool in the dining room. The major benefit over being in hospital is that, even if the MWs are not in the room with you, they are right there, two of them, without the distraction of 3 other labouring mums to look in on.
> 
> You can have pethidine if you say in advance you might require it. The MWs can get a doctor to prescribe it and have it delivered to your house in advance. As long as you're aware that pethidine is an opiate and has negative effects on your LO.
> 
> Ultimately it is your decision, not your mum's or your OH, but I do think that supportive family is really important for an enjoyable experience. Could you take your mum and OH to an appointment with your MW to talk it all out? Assuming that you have a supportive MW, that is. That way they can hear for themselves from an "expert" all the pros and hopefully ease any doubts or concerns they have about supposed risks.
> 
> My mum was supportive but very nervous about a homebirth until she talked to my very enthusiastic MW!Click to expand...

Only thing is, if i had homebirth it would only be me and OH, so what would MW do, when actually in active labour, just stay in another room until i needed them? Ive not said anything to my MW as of yet, not felt like am at the % to ask her about it, if get what i mean. 
Pethidine with Amber was fine, so im just thinking going be fine again. 
Sadly, i dont have full family support, as i dont live anywhere near them anymore, live 4 bit hours away, so them even getting down to me is only around 10% chance. 

Im seeing an consultant on 27th, due to my bmi, grrr! So would be worth mentioning anything to them? 

Thanks.


----------



## MummyToAmberx

Cariad_bach said:


> MummyToAmberx said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Cariad_bach said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> MummyToAmberx said:
> 
> 
> Im still undecided.
> 
> DO you mind me asking why hun? ...sorry dont want to be nosey :blush: just though it may help to type it all out and see it written down xxxClick to expand...
> 
> I dont know where start in all honestly. So might be all over the place.
> I kinda enjoyed the hospital birth with Amber. Couldnt fault much, fact i was out so quickly made it all even better.
> Now because ive moved 250miles from where i had Amber its whole different hospital, id like to try it all out. (More of a final choice of that probably be made once ive had a tour around) 1 half why im undecided.
> Next is i live in a rented house, whether i want to labour give birth in house that isnt mine im bit iffy about. I dont really fancy having midwifes present the whole time watching over me, where as in hospital they come and go. I liked being left to it, unless i needed someone.
> My OH isnt 1 of these totally supportive pregnancy blokes. I dont think he'd be keen on me having homebirth (I hadnt really talked it through with him though)
> I mentiond it to my mother, she wasnt very supportive towards it, that kinda knocked me back on the idea. Then again id probably feel the same at her age, probably never hearing someone have homebirth before.
> Lastly, i didnt get on well with G&A, wouldnt say no to trying it again. I really want pethidine again, i dont know if you can have it at homebirth.Click to expand...
> 
> I see what you mean hun ...
> I wouldnt have a homebirth with my 2nd because the house was rented .. just felt funny lol.
> 
> Like Shifter said tho you can have pethidine (i didnt know that last time lol) and the MW's will come, look at you and go again if your a while off ...they nip back to check on you, Once your all systems go they will leave you as much as they can, mine wondered off to the kitchen to make a brew eyc until you really need them .. then you have there 101% undivided attention.
> 
> I wouldn't care about my own mums opinion but i couldn't have done it/do it without my Oh's support i must admit.
> 
> :hugs: hopefully your visit to your new hospital will help to make your mind up for you one way or another xxxClick to expand...

Yeah, dont know why but dont feel 100% right. God, knows what the landlord would think lol. 
Yeah i really want the visit sooner rather than later (obviously not soon, soon lol) Off what ive read on website it seems alot larger and more on offer than the last hospital. 
Thanks


----------



## purple_socks

MummyToAmberx said:


> Shifter said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> MummyToAmberx said:
> 
> 
> I dont know where start in all honestly. So might be all over the place.
> I kinda enjoyed the hospital birth with Amber. Couldnt fault much, fact i was out so quickly made it all even better.
> Now because ive moved 250miles from where i had Amber its whole different hospital, id like to try it all out. (More of a final choice of that probably be made once ive had a tour around) 1 half why im undecided.
> Next is i live in a rented house, whether i want to labour give birth in house that isnt mine im bit iffy about. I dont really fancy having midwifes present the whole time watching over me, where as in hospital they come and go. I liked being left to it, unless i needed someone.
> My OH isnt 1 of these totally supportive pregnancy blokes. I dont think he'd be keen on me having homebirth (I hadnt really talked it through with him though)
> I mentiond it to my mother, she wasnt very supportive towards it, that kinda knocked me back on the idea. Then again id probably feel the same at her age, probably never hearing someone have homebirth before.
> Lastly, i didnt get on well with G&A, wouldnt say no to trying it again. I really want pethidine again, i dont know if you can have it at homebirth.
> 
> Hi hun,
> 
> with labouring at home you can delay calling the MWs as long as you like and even once they arrive they may not stay if they think you still have long to go and when they do commit to staying until the end they will be as hands on or off as you like. My MWs spent most of my labour chatting to my mum in the living room while hubby and I laboured in the pool in the dining room. The major benefit over being in hospital is that, even if the MWs are not in the room with you, they are right there, two of them, without the distraction of 3 other labouring mums to look in on.
> 
> You can have pethidine if you say in advance you might require it. The MWs can get a doctor to prescribe it and have it delivered to your house in advance. As long as you're aware that pethidine is an opiate and has negative effects on your LO.
> 
> Ultimately it is your decision, not your mum's or your OH, but I do think that supportive family is really important for an enjoyable experience. Could you take your mum and OH to an appointment with your MW to talk it all out? Assuming that you have a supportive MW, that is. That way they can hear for themselves from an "expert" all the pros and hopefully ease any doubts or concerns they have about supposed risks.
> 
> My mum was supportive but very nervous about a homebirth until she talked to my very enthusiastic MW!Click to expand...
> 
> Only thing is, if i had homebirth it would only be me and OH, so what would MW do, when actually in active labour, just stay in another room until i needed them? Ive not said anything to my MW as of yet, not felt like am at the % to ask her about it, if get what i mean.
> Pethidine with Amber was fine, so im just thinking going be fine again.
> Sadly, i dont have full family support, as i dont live anywhere near them anymore, live 4 bit hours away, so them even getting down to me is only around 10% chance.
> 
> Im seeing an consultant on 27th, due to my bmi, grrr! So would be worth mentioning anything to them?
> 
> Thanks.Click to expand...

i'm gonna chat to my midwife and pos put in my birth plan that i'd like my space and would rather they stayed out of the way until the pushing part/when i need them. i've read stories of MW being fine with this and bringing books along and staying in the other room during homebirths. i even read one where the couple told the MW to go have a nap and they'd wake her if they needed her! lol

try reading some homebirth stories...it might help u picture what it might b like better to help u make ur mind up. (try www.homebirth.org)


----------



## star-dust

Hmm hadnt thought about m/ws an labour ie were they would be, if i laboured downstairs there aint realy anywere for them to go as our kitchen is literally only a room for cooking nothin else!!


----------



## Misty

star-dust said:


> hiya misty, welcome to the world of wana be home birthers!
> I decided pretty much from me bfp this was gonan be a home birth but at first I had to sort out and finalise a few things, so m/w put me down at booking appointment as a hospital, but when I see her next I will tell her Im wanting a homebirth!
> I have many reasons for wanting one, many are pratical reasons, but a few are because as one other on here said it would be nice to give birth in a calm enviroment were you are more in control, & also to give birth in the room were you concieved....Unless your like gersprincess then it wil be under the xmas tree, in which case........:rofl:
> 
> the girls here are great for advice etc ask away anythin and they will respond which is amazing!! have a lot of respect for quite a few on ehre
> Only 7 weeks, wow when are you roughly due then?
> 
> xx


Hiya star-dust :)

I'm due on the 4th January 2010. So maybe I can labour under the Christmas tree!!! :D

I love this thread! So informative and helpful. I meant to check it yesterday, but fell asleep! I'm a bit knackered at the moment! 
I have mentioned it to my husband, he just looks bemused! He did mention the other kids though. We have 3 boys (14, 12 and 10) so there will be a big gap. I don't think they will want to be in the same room, but I don't think it will traumatise them. I suppose they are old enough to let me know what they think actually. I haven't told them yet. I have a scan tomorrow, I might tell them then. 

I'm going to have a look at the homebirth site later. Thanks girls! xxx


----------



## Shifter

I'm sure it varies from one MW to another, but I didn't explicitly state in my birth plan or in conversation that I wanted them to keep their distance, but they did anyway. I guess they picked up from other things in my plan that I wanted a very quiet and private experience. When my MW first arrived I was in bed and she came and checked me over then went next door to leave me to it without asking if that's what I wanted, she just seemed to know. This was the the same MW I had seen ante-natally so she knew me well and knew what I was after. I certainly didn't feel abandoned, like they would have done this regardless of my feelings.

Her shift finished before I really got going so she left and two other MWs came later and they did the same. They came to check on me every now and then and were quick to respond when I felt I needed them to bring entonox and when I said I needed to push they asked if I wanted them to stay with me from then on, which I did. 

Unfortunately I don't know how it would have worked in the second and third stages as I never got that far :(


----------



## Mrs. JJ

Aw Shifter, it breaks my heart that you didn't get the homebirth you wanted! I read some of your journal and your birth story, I know that must be devastating. Thanks for being here and giving adivce, I know you have a LOT of knowledge in this arena!

:hug:


----------



## MummyToAmberx

> i'm gonna chat to my midwife and pos put in my birth plan that i'd like my space and would rather they stayed out of the way until the pushing part/when i need them. i've read stories of MW being fine with this and bringing books along and staying in the other room during homebirths. i even read one where the couple told the MW to go have a nap and they'd wake her if they needed her! lol
> 
> try reading some homebirth stories...it might help u picture what it might b like better to help u make ur mind up. (try www.homebirth.org)

Thank you. I shall have a read of that. :D


----------



## Shifter

Thanks Mrs JJ. I'm more than happy to now be a homebirth cheerleader!


----------



## lindypops

I think mw's often know to keep out of the way bc it keeps things normal and familiar, which means the labour is likely to progress well. And there isn't much they can do anyway, in the first stage, is there?

MummytoAmber - I know what you mean about clamps and hospital stuff - I'm thinking that it is much, much better than canulas, drips, stirrups etc so am going to tell myself it is miles better than being in hospital!


----------



## Shifter

I just didn't look through the birth pack. I left it in the nursery and the MWs got it out when they arrived. The only medical things I saw were the inco pads, gloves, doppler and thermometers!


----------



## lisa_33

hi ladies, good luck to all your home births! after having 2 kids (a long long time ago) in hospital i would love a hb this time but a bit nervous of saying to my mw, at my booking in app i had a bmi of 36, so got a feeling she will object. both my births were normal deliveries ( well ds was induced at 36 weeks for pre eclamsia) and both only lasted 4 and half hours, so really should i be a big risk?? i just honestly think it would be so much more relaxing and comforting in your own home although the look of horror on my 12 and 14 year olds faces when i mentioned it to them was priceless!! xx


----------



## Cariad_bach

lisa_33 said:


> hi ladies, good luck to all your home births! after having 2 kids (a long long time ago) in hospital i would love a hb this time but a bit nervous of saying to my mw, at my booking in app i had a bmi of 36, so got a feeling she will object. both my births were normal deliveries ( well ds was induced at 36 weeks for pre eclamsia) and both only lasted 4 and half hours, so really should i be a big risk?? i just honestly think it would be so much more relaxing and comforting in your own home although the look of horror on my 12 and 14 year olds faces when i mentioned it to them was priceless!! xx

Aww hun just go for it and ask her about it .... i think alot depends on where you live because where i am they tend to suggest it, they really like women birthing at home.
Good luck hun xxx


----------



## purple_socks

lisa_33 said:


> hi ladies, good luck to all your home births! after having 2 kids (a long long time ago) in hospital i would love a hb this time but a bit nervous of saying to my mw, at my booking in app i had a bmi of 36, so got a feeling she will object. both my births were normal deliveries ( well ds was induced at 36 weeks for pre eclamsia) and both only lasted 4 and half hours, so really should i be a big risk?? i just honestly think it would be so much more relaxing and comforting in your own home although the look of horror on my 12 and 14 year olds faces when i mentioned it to them was priceless!! xx

I have a bmi of 40 something and they were fine with me...check out homebirth.org they have a section on reasons u might b told u can't have a homebirth (high bmi is one on there) they give u pros and cons so u can make an imformed choice. good luck


----------



## lisa_33

i will say to her next week when i have my anti d jag i wish i knew if there was many in my area, so id have an idea in there policies xx


----------



## marley2580

Shifter said:


> I just didn't look through the birth pack. I left it in the nursery and the MWs got it out when they arrived. The only medical things I saw were the inco pads, gloves, doppler and thermometers!

It wasn't even an option for me - everything was sealed tight.


----------



## star-dust

marley2580 said:


> Shifter said:
> 
> 
> I just didn't look through the birth pack. I left it in the nursery and the MWs got it out when they arrived. The only medical things I saw were the inco pads, gloves, doppler and thermometers!
> 
> It wasn't even an option for me - everything was sealed tight.Click to expand...

do they leave one of these at yourhome before your edd then? sorry if dumb question!

Hubby finally relented and looked into hb on the website, and says its not as bad as he feared, but hes worried how hes gonna cope.....him coping, er hello Im the one shovinh a water melon through the eye of a needle!!!!! alls hes gotta cope with hes tryin to make his manhood get through it in one peice!
hes still unsure about labouring in our bed though, but doesnt like the thoguht of the lounge either, so still gotta work that bit out, will talk to m/w about it when I see her next


----------



## Shifter

star-dust said:


> marley2580 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Shifter said:
> 
> 
> I just didn't look through the birth pack. I left it in the nursery and the MWs got it out when they arrived. The only medical things I saw were the inco pads, gloves, doppler and thermometers!
> 
> It wasn't even an option for me - everything was sealed tight.Click to expand...
> 
> do they leave one of these at yourhome before your edd then? sorry if dumb question!Click to expand...

Yep. It gets delivered when you reach 37 weeks so all the stuff is there ready. There's other stuff that the MWs bring with them though, like entonox and scales.


----------



## Cariad_bach

Shifter said:


> star-dust said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> marley2580 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Shifter said:
> 
> 
> I just didn't look through the birth pack. I left it in the nursery and the MWs got it out when they arrived. The only medical things I saw were the inco pads, gloves, doppler and thermometers!
> 
> It wasn't even an option for me - everything was sealed tight.Click to expand...
> 
> do they leave one of these at yourhome before your edd then? sorry if dumb question!Click to expand...
> 
> Yep. It gets delivered when you reach 37 weeks so all the stuff is there ready. There's other stuff that the MWs bring with them though, like entonox and scales.Click to expand...

Not for me any more ...

They did last time, they delivered it all (including the entonox ) but not until 38 weeks,

This time the MW said they dont do that any more and they will just bring everything they need with them when the time comes :shock: ive told her i wont be impressed if she forgets anything LMAO!!







Well ive got the dinning room ready for my 2nd home birth, well pretty much .....

https://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/cariad_bach/lump/100_0190.jpg

https://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/cariad_bach/lump/100_0191.jpg

Theres shower curtains under the sheets and the sheets can go straight in the bin,
I also have large (1 metre x 1 metre) absorbent disposable pads for when my waters go (old peoples/children's incontinence pads from Ebay)
The downstairs loos right next door to that room and the floors easy to clean lol.

The vew out onto the garden and back fields is great to look at in between contractions to (as i discovered last time lol)

Just got to choose a 'first' outfit to put him in xxx


----------



## lindypops

That will be lovely with the nice view, Cariad bach.

We went to another ante natal class last night - I've borrowed a book about water births. Most of the pics and stories have the dad in the pool too. I asked Si if he wanted to get in and he said no. I feel that I might really want him too, though, so I figure I'll wait and see and if I insist he's not going to refuse! I also think he'll feel more involved that way.


----------



## star-dust

Cariad_bach that looks a really nice set up, so cosy!


----------



## Rebaby

star-dust said:


> Cariad_bach that looks a really nice set up, so cosy!

I agree!


----------



## Shifter

lindypops said:


> That will be lovely with the nice view, Cariad bach.
> 
> We went to another ante natal class last night - I've borrowed a book about water births. Most of the pics and stories have the dad in the pool too. I asked Si if he wanted to get in and he said no. I feel that I might really want him too, though, so I figure I'll wait and see and if I insist he's not going to refuse! I also think he'll feel more involved that way.

Andy got in the pool with me, it was lovely, it really felt like we were labouring together :cloud9: He was right there to do light touch massage and to help me up when the MW needed to listen to bub's heart (they didn't have a waterproof doppler :dohh: )

If you can talk him round I'd highly recommend it.


----------



## star-dust

all the water births I have seen show the man outside of the pool, personally I hate that, the men dont seem involved if that makes any sense? to me if the dads round he should be as involved in the birth as much as possiable, one reason why I want to be at home, no interuptions just me and him chilling!


----------



## marley2580

I don't want OH in the pool with me


----------



## ryder

cinnamongirl said:


> My girlfriend had a home birth, and she had some pretty serious complications and had to be rushed to hospital. Baby was born at home, but within minutes, they were being rushed away. Pretty scary, but I'm sure that's not the norm!
> 
> I would love to hear of other's experiences.

I didnt have a homebirth with Jasmine... but she did have some complications when she was born and I can say that I was very happy that I had the help of an excellent specialist there to revive her. 

I was skeptical of a homebirth before that incident... and that incident has confirmed my fears. 

I think homebirths are more popular in the UK though... I liked my hospital and labour nurse.


----------



## star-dust

I jsut realised re homebirths and things going wrong, if things went wrong I would have to go hospital, well my nearest main one is treliske a 30 min drive, its not the type of hospital you would give birth in but for emergencys its ok!
anyway 10 min walk from me is the birth centre which is were i will be if I cant have a homebirth, so if things go wrong there I would still ahve to travel 30 mins to treliske, so it makes no difference whether im at home or in penrice if things go wrong I still would have to travel the 30mins does that make any sense?

so if hubby starts goin on about worryin about something goin wrong i shall point this lil fact out to him!


----------



## Shifter

star-dust said:


> I jsut realised re homebirths and things going wrong, if things went wrong I would have to go hospital, well my nearest main one is treliske a 30 min drive, its not the type of hospital you would give birth in but for emergencys its ok!
> anyway 10 min walk from me is *the birth centre which is were i will be if I cant have a homebirth*, so if things go wrong there I would still ahve to travel 30 mins to treliske, so it makes no difference whether im at home or in penrice if things go wrong I still would have to travel the 30mins does that make any sense?
> 
> so if hubby starts goin on about worryin about something goin wrong i shall point this lil fact out to him!

I hope no one is going to bully you into thinking you "can't" have a homebirth. You can have your baby anywhere you choose, you may wish to choose hospital if there are serious and persuasive reasons. If this is the case then hospital is the only option, not a birthing centre. TBH there is no real difference between birth centre and home.


----------



## lindypops

This thread is good because it's really helping me get informed. I'm so up for it - can't wait, in some ways.

Shifter, thanks for the advice - I hadn't thought of it before, but seeing all these pics of men in the water too made me think that if I'm in the pool, he's kind of separated from me, which isn't ideal. But I don't think I'll be able to persuade him yet, as he's thinking along the lines of what he does and doesn't want to do re. getting in. When I'm in labour, it'll be all about what *I* want (I hope, and not in a mean way!) so it'll be more possible to persuade him, I reckon.

And if I don't want him in, he won't be standing there, disappointed, in his speedos lol!


----------



## lozzy21

I asked OH would he come in the pool with me and he said no. I then asked him if i asked him to when i was in labour would he argue with me and he said no to that aswell :rofl: So looks like hes going to be doing whats safe for his health


----------



## purple_socks

I asked OH if he'd get in the pool with me and he didn't mind until we watched a water birth video and he saw the water get a bit mucky and when i explained to him what the sieve that comes with our pool was for! i think come labour time he wouldn't care tho.


----------



## Shifter

I didn't actually give birth in the pool, nor did my waters go in there, but we spent a good few hours in it and it didn't really get that bad. There was some ick (my plug!) that got scooped up with the sieve though!


----------



## Rebaby

If i do decide to labour in water i don't really feel like i want OH actually IN there with me...can't really explain why, i just picture him at the side and me wanting my space...does that make me a bit odd? :blush:


----------



## star-dust

Shifter said:


> I hope no one is going to bully you into thinking you "can't" have a homebirth. You can have your baby anywhere you choose, you may wish to choose hospital if there are serious and persuasive reasons. If this is the case then hospital is the only option, not a birthing centre. TBH there is no real difference between birth centre and home.

hes not bullyin me into anything as such but does keep on he is worried and his first reaction really has made me unsure since, i am going to my next m/w appointment alone so will hopefully discuss it with her then, not sure how far in advance you need to discuss these things?


----------



## Shifter

Re-baby - no,not odd at all, we're all different :)

star-dust - it's never too early to tell your MW what you want.


----------



## star-dust

does anyone know when the homebirth ones on helth and home or whatever its called on sky is going to be repeated at all?! only recently had sky put in!


----------



## purple_socks

star-dust said:


> does anyone know when the homebirth ones on helth and home or whatever its called on sky is going to be repeated at all?! only recently had sky put in!

whats this abt? was there a homebirth show on? i wanna watch it?!


----------



## star-dust

purple_socks said:


> star-dust said:
> 
> 
> does anyone know when the homebirth ones on helth and home or whatever its called on sky is going to be repeated at all?! only recently had sky put in!
> 
> whats this abt? was there a homebirth show on? i wanna watch it?!Click to expand...

Apparently so, someone in sept-embryos mentioned it to me, they said they had a few episodes on homebirth?
wouldnt know what to google to find it though?!


----------



## purple_socks

star-dust said:


> purple_socks said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> star-dust said:
> 
> 
> does anyone know when the homebirth ones on helth and home or whatever its called on sky is going to be repeated at all?! only recently had sky put in!
> 
> whats this abt? was there a homebirth show on? i wanna watch it?!Click to expand...
> 
> Apparently so, someone in sept-embryos mentioned it to me, they said they had a few episodes on homebirth?
> wouldnt know what to google to find it though?!Click to expand...

found this through google https://www.locatetv.com/tv/home-birth-diaries/97259 but i can't find anywhere to watch episodes online...boo shame we missed it :-(


----------



## lozzy21

Homebirth diarys is on discovery home and health on a morning. Not sure what time though.


----------



## star-dust

https://www.discoverychannel.co.uk/...y_code=GB&channel_code=HHUK-ENG&date=03062009

found this but still cant find it?


----------



## lovedupgirl

Hi girlies!

Not been in for a while, hows everybody getting on?

So the last few weeks I've been making my birth plan and writing up lists of what we are going to need for our homebirth,I know I've got 15 weeks left to go but I like to be organised!:happydance:

Im feeling a little worried that I'll be told to go into hospital at the last minute, my MW wont do the paper work i'll need until I have been for a consultant appointment at 34 weeks due to my last baby being classed as small for gestional age.

I've been looking at the A.I.M.S website and have read a book by a woman who works for them, I wished I had know when I was having my son that home birth is my legal right and that they HAVE to send a MW to my by law.
Last time I tried for a homebirth I was told while I was in labour that no-one was avalible to come out to me and I would have to go to the hospital, It makes me feel quite angry now.:hissy:

This time around I have a plan of action!When I go into labour I dont plan on getting my OH to call the midwifes until my labour is quite advanced(this should'nt take long as my last labour was 2 hours start to finish!If they say that no-one can come out he's going to say that im too far gone and that there is no chance he can move me now,if they get obnoxious he will remind them of the legal side of things.Hope it works


----------



## lindypops

Lovedupgirl - unfortunately, they don't HAVE to send a mw by law. Legally, they have to send a paramedic (I have a story about a woman who had this very thing happen - let me know if you want to hear it! It's a bit long and I'm supposed to be teaching right now!).

But it is our right to have one - these two things don't match up at all, which is I think where the grey area of 'you may not get a mw if there aren't enough' is employed/enforced. 

My MW told me, however, that if you stand your ground and refuse to go in to hospital, then they are extremely unlikely to leave you on your own (the story I mentioned was of an *extremely* quick transition and second stage at about 7am - much less than an hour from not fully dilated to the baby being born) as they don't want to potentially have to deal with reprecussions (I imagine she meant litigation).

My DH has been primed to say, I don't care about your staffing issues, we will be expecting a midwife to come over - whatever time of day it is.

I feel more confident about doing this, knowing that they are understaffed for mws at the hospital but don't have the money to employ more because money earmarked for maternity was spent on something else - something my mw told me.

No one can make you do anything you don't want to do, even if they frame it in 'as you're breech/overweight/underweight/overdue/premature you'll *have* to go to hospital or we can't guarantee a live birth.' You don't *have* to do anything - and some procedures they carry out, such as continuous foetal monitoring, have next to no scientific basis to prove they are effective.


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## star-dust

lindypops thats really interesting to read, I have only recently started worryin about whether a m/w will be avaliable, knowing hubby would rather me be in hosptial, he may rather then back me up turn round and agree to me going in, so think im gonna wait til last min!!!!


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## lindypops

star-dust said:


> lindypops thats really interesting to read, I have only recently started worryin about whether a m/w will be avaliable, knowing hubby would rather me be in hosptial, he may rather then back me up turn round and agree to me going in, so think im gonna wait til last min!!!!

IKWYM - part of me thinks that if they tell my DH they *have* to do this or that procedure, that he'll say ok because he doesn't want me to suffer or anything bad to happen, and I think it's hard for men to watch pain in general and labour in particular. So I keep telling him not to do this!

My me also said they will ask to speak to you, as the labouring woman, at some point in the phone call, so you can scream 'get me a mw' down the line at them!


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## JayleighAnn

I didnt even no this thread existed!! :blush:

I'm planning a homebirth, but my mw keeps pulling excuses out the bag for me not to have one. 

I seen a different midwife yesterday who is trying to scare me with shoulder distocia (sp?) and she's sent me for a growth scan next thursday.


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## marley2580

They would not actually handle shoulder dystocia any differently at a homebirth than at a hospital. Have a look on the homebirth.org.uk site at the article on there about shoulder dystocia.


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## JayleighAnn

marley2580 said:


> They would not actually handle shoulder dystocia any differently at a homebirth than at a hospital. Have a look on the homebirth.org.uk site at the article on there about shoulder dystocia.

Thats what I've been looking on, it said theres only one they cant do at home, but its virtually unheard of in the uk, where they push the baby back inside and then do an emergency c-section


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## Wombat

Hi girls!! haven't been on here for a while!!! So many posts! ( I managed to read from the page 6 till the end)!

Congrats to everybody who got their home birth approved!

I will talk about mine on my consultant appoinment in July :) but I am pretty much set on having one!

For those who are interested in home birth diaries they were on one of the sky channels (actually on the first page of entertiment channels) on week days around 8am. I don't know if they are still on...

I have a question for 2nd and more time mummies.... What are you planning to do with your older kids? Daniel will be 2 years old when this bubba comes and I don't want him to get scared or traumatised. We have been watching together home birth diaries and he was fine (I put them on quite loud) and I also tried to scram in front of him on the top of my lungs and he just laughs and screams back (he thinks it is a great game).
We don't really have an option of sending him out to grandparents (or anyone really) so he will be with us at the moment of birth. The good thing is that we (hopefully) will have an au-pair who can look after him....


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## Cariad_bach

Wombat said:


> I have a question for 2nd and more time mummies.... What are you planning to do with your older kids? Daniel will be 2 years old when this bubba comes and I don't want him to get scared or traumatised. We have been watching together home birth diaries and he was fine (I put them on quite loud) and I also tried to scram in front of him on the top of my lungs and he just laughs and screams back (he thinks it is a great game).
> We don't really have an option of sending him out to grandparents (or anyone really) so he will be with us at the moment of birth. The good thing is that we (hopefully) will have an au-pair who can look after him....

Hi hun,

With my first homebirth my other kids were 1 and 2, thankfully they were having there evening bath when contractions started do i just quickly got them out, dry and dressed, fed them tea and put them to bed without them knowing!

This time my kiddies are going to be 6, 5 and 3.
Im hopeing they they will be in bed or at school and nursery TBH lol.

My 6 year old wants to be there for the birth .... im not totally happy about it and nor is my OH but my MW thinks its a fantastic idea, i have let her watch births etc on YouTube so she can see what happens ... but ... well, we'll see!!
Im lucky that i have several neighbours that have children my kids ages that have all said day or night know matter what their welcome to go round for the day/night ... whatever.

But really to be honest were just playing things by ear and it aill all depend on time of day and day of week etc


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## marley2580

My mum's coming over incase Kaya wakes up or it all goes tits up again.


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## lindypops

I've got a book about waterbirths with some fairly graphic pics in - in one of the stories, the first photo shows mum and dad in the pool, with a kid who looks about 5 or 6 standing staring at them, Damien-style.

In the next pic, the kids is IN the pool with them, still staring! I thought that was a bit weird...

More seriously, people i've spoken to who've given birth overnight have often sent th child to bed then woken them up to greet their new sibling. 

I think what would concern me most is that any kids I might have who would want to watch might be distressed, and I wouldn't want anyone's attention or worries to be diverted from what was happening to me - I wouldn't want to worry about them and I would need all DH's concentration on me too.


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## lovedupgirl

Lindypops yeah tell me that story!I am seeking out any homebirth experiences at the mo!


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## Cariad_bach

lindypops said:


> More seriously, people i've spoken to who've given birth overnight have often sent th child to bed then woken them up to greet their new sibling.

Thats exactly what happened for me last time :)



lindypops said:


> I think what would concern me most is that any kids I might have who would want to watch might be distressed, and I wouldn't want anyone's attention or worries to be diverted from what was happening to me - I wouldn't want to worry about them and I would need all DH's concentration on me too.

and thats exactly why my OH doesn't want my 6 year old there this time .. he doesnt want to have to worry about and look after her if she panicks :headspin:


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## Shifter

lindypops said:


> My me also said they will ask to speak to you, as the labouring woman, at some point in the phone call, so you can scream 'get me a mw' down the line at them!

They like to, but if like me, you're having a hypno birth then there isn't any screaming for them to go by! I don't think the MW on the other end of the phone knew what to do as I was just silent. I told hubby there was no point putting me on the phone but he was a bit unsure of how to tell the MW no lol! I think there are script suggestions on the home birth site for OHs for if you are being told you "have" to go in to hospital or if you're hypno-birthing.


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## marley2580

My brother was there (aged 2.5) for the birth of my other brother, he just wandered in and sat down to quietly watch.


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## lindypops

Shifter said:


> lindypops said:
> 
> 
> My me also said they will ask to speak to you, as the labouring woman, at some point in the phone call, so you can scream 'get me a mw' down the line at them!
> 
> They like to, but if like me, you're having a hypno birth then there isn't any screaming for them to go by! I don't think the MW on the other end of the phone knew what to do as I was just silent. I told hubby there was no point putting me on the phone but he was a bit unsure of how to tell the MW no lol! I think there are script suggestions on the home birth site for OHs for if you are being told you "have" to go in to hospital or if you're hypno-birthing.Click to expand...

Good point! I hadn't thought of that. I want to be hypnobirthing too. Hmm. I need to think about this!

Lovedup girl, here's the story:

She had her first at home, 15 hour labour, no problems.

Woke up in the middle of the night with her second (about 2am I think), contractions but not so strong. Planned homebirth, they rang the hospital and were told to ring back at 8am to update and get mw sorted out.At about 6.30am she woke up in much more pain, decided to have a bath. 

The minute she got into the full bath, she got the urge to push and couldn't get out! They drained the water but she was stuck, so her hubby rang delivery suite, who talked him through some stuff then sent out an ambulance with two paramedics. They lifted her out of the bath and she immediately gave birth on the floor.

Because paramedics are not allowed to touch the cord or anything, they then had to take her, with baby delivered but not placenta, to hospital, blue lights flashing. Because they were down as having a homebirth they were not stopped from going home when they wanted, as initial checks were scheduled to be made at home anyway.

A similar scenario with their third - but as they were so quick with the second, when they were told to hang on till morning for a mw to come to their home, they decided not to wait but went into hospital instead. She again delivered within the hour.

She said it was the best hospital scenario she could have hoped for, as she was the only one there! (but 24 hour previoulsy they had shut the unit as it was full). She still didn't like it though.

With the second, when she went in having given birth on the bathroom floor, she did apparently receive an apology from someone for not having provided a mw, but apparently the mw's she saw wwere very offhand and cold with her and pretty much told her off for wanting to stay at home - as if *she* had let *them* down rather than the other way around! And one told her off, saying 'next time you'll come in, of course?' What cheek!

I asked her if she had tried (or considered trying) standing her ground and insisting on having a mw coume round, but she said speed made that pretty redundant as a choice.


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## lovedupgirl

God thanks for that lindypops Im shi**ing myself now :rofl:
I do have a history of quick labour my 1st LO was born in 3 hours after an induction!
My son took slightly longer at 5 1/2 hours but that was because my cervix was fully dilated apart from a tiny lip which was refusing to co-operate and my son had his head presenting sideways!
I was induced again with my 3rd LO, They tried to break my waters at 3pm but nothing was happening so I was put on a drip at 5:30pm and had given birth by half past 7!


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## lindypops

Sorry - I didn't want to scare you! But I would rather know this stuff than not know it, IYKWIM. You sound so much more experienced than me, so I would rely on your knowledge more than mine!

Your labours have been quick...but if you hadn't been put on a drip with the third (which you wouldn't if you had been at home) then it would have been slower and the mws would have had time to get to you (I'm guessing). 

These speeding-up things are some of the things I want to avoid.


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## lovedupgirl

The only time I have went into labour naturally is with my son, Both my daughters were induced as they were small for dates( boll**ks!)they were both completely healthy at birth.I hated all those interventions all the prostin gels, drips, having my waters broken and constant fetal monitoring they kept me on the bed and would not let me move around or change position.It was horrific I was frozen with pain, laying there on the bed with no way of soothing myself. I think it may be more than coincidence that I developed PND after both of my daughters births.I felt like my birthing experience had been taken away from me all I remember from those births was how scared I was!
Woman are not aloud to deliver naturally in hospital any more we have no say in the birthing process.
Thats why this time around I am so determined to have the baby at home.


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## Shifter

:hugs: lovedupgirl. What a load of rot, inducing because babies are suspected to be small!!! Surely even if they are small then they are better off left in there as long as possible to grow as much as possible?! I agree with you totally about hospital births hun, that's why I went for a home birth and everything I feared about hospital turned out to be true.


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## Mrs. JJ

lovedupgirl said:


> The only time I have went into labour naturally is with my son, Both my daughters were induced as they were small for dates( boll**ks!)they were both completely healthy at birth.I hated all those interventions all the prostin gels, drips, having my waters broken and constant fetal monitoring they kept me on the bed and would not let me move around or change position.It was horrific I was frozen with pain, laying there on the bed with no way of soothing myself. I think it may be more than coincidence that I developed PND after both of my daughters births.I felt like my birthing experience had been taken away from me all I remember from those births was how scared I was!
> Woman are not aloud to deliver naturally in hospital any more we have no say in the birthing process.
> Thats why this time around I am so determined to have the baby at home.

:hugs:

These are the exact reasons that I want a homebirth too. I can't wait to show my DH your post, it's exactly what we've been talking about! Hope you get your homebirth this time around!


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## lindypops

lovedupgirl said:


> The only time I have went into labour naturally is with my son, Both my daughters were induced as they were small for dates( boll**ks!)they were both completely healthy at birth.I hated all those interventions all the prostin gels, drips, having my waters broken and constant fetal monitoring they kept me on the bed and would not let me move around or change position.It was horrific I was frozen with pain, laying there on the bed with no way of soothing myself. I think it may be more than coincidence that I developed PND after both of my daughters births.I felt like my birthing experience had been taken away from me all I remember from those births was how scared I was!
> Woman are not aloud to deliver naturally in hospital any more we have no say in the birthing process.
> Thats why this time around I am so determined to have the baby at home.

I'm totally with you and Mrs JJ on this. I've heard that lots of intervention and stress can bring on PND and I certainly don't intend to help this along, as depression already runs in my family!

It just makes me so angry that doctors seem to think that mothers are not important in this process and are to be used. As far as I'm concerned, until my LO is born and breathing on her own, my comfort is paramount, as this can have such an effect on her. And I am not letting anyone near me without permission and a clear explanation of what they want to do and why - and a respectful request!

Obviously, if there is some danger to either of us, we may have to make choices we hadn't planned on - but I'm not having anyone tell me that they are going to interfere because I don't meet their 'standards'!

I'm so sorry you had such a crappy experience!


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## lindypops

And have I said this before? but I have been told by an ex-NHS midwife that doctors have been known to exaggerate the risks to your LO's health during labour, so as to secure permission for the interventions they want to make. As if that is going to help the experience for mother and child! Grrr!


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## lozzy21

When my mam went into labour with me at full term by her dates and the date she had all through her pregnancy, they stopped it as they said i was to small. I ended up being born 22 days late. I had lost weight due to the placenta stopping to work proppely. I was dry due to the vernix having been absorbed. I also had to spend some time in special care.

Granted this was 21 years ago but it took my grandad who was on the local council at the time to threaten to take legal action for them to induce her.
After i was born one of the nurses had said if i had stayed in ther another 2 days i would have died. 

My mam was right all along about her dates and it was some know it all doctor that nearly killed me before i was even born.


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## Shifter

lindypops said:


> And have I said this before? but I have been told by an ex-NHS midwife that doctors have been known to exaggerate the risks to your LO's health during labour, so as to secure permission for the interventions they want to make. As if that is going to help the experience for mother and child! Grrr!

Yep, and not just when in labour, but if you go past 40 weeks too. The consultant I saw at 41 weeks tried to tell me that there were risks at going past 41 weeks. I smiled and told him that there is no medical evidence to suggest that. Once he realised I was well informed he dropped the BS and admitted that they are told to try and scare pregnant women :shock:


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## lindypops

Shifter said:


> lindypops said:
> 
> 
> And have I said this before? but I have been told by an ex-NHS midwife that doctors have been known to exaggerate the risks to your LO's health during labour, so as to secure permission for the interventions they want to make. As if that is going to help the experience for mother and child! Grrr!
> 
> Yep, and not just when in labour, but if you go past 40 weeks too. The consultant I saw at 41 weeks tried to tell me that there were risks at going past 41 weeks. I smiled and told him that there is no medical evidence to suggest that. Once he realised I was well informed he dropped the BS and admitted that they are told to try and scare pregnant women :shock:Click to expand...

You're joking - he actually admitted that to you?!!

It's true that there is little medical evidence to support some of their suggestions (continuous foetal monitorin, for example) - I'm not saying that these things are never useful/important, but their medical basis is a lot more shaky than some doctors would have you believe.

By law, if they suggest an intervention, you have the right to request to see to see and read the research that supports that their suggestion is medically sound - though of course, in reality there may not be time!


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## lindypops

lozzy21 said:


> When my mam went into labour with me at full term by her dates and the date she had all through her pregnancy, they stopped it as they said i was to small. I ended up being born 22 days late. I had lost weight due to the placenta stopping to work proppely. I was dry due to the vernix having been absorbed. I also had to spend some time in special care.
> 
> Granted this was 21 years ago but it took my grandad who was on the local council at the time to threaten to take legal action for them to induce her.
> After i was born one of the nurses had said if i had stayed in ther another 2 days i would have died.
> 
> My mam was right all along about her dates and it was some know it all doctor that nearly killed me before i was even born.

That's awful, Lozzy21. It's reminded me that, although I seem to be on the warpath when it comes to asserting my rights and that my LO, I need to be mindful that my decision are first and foremost made with her safety in mind.


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## Shifter

lindypops said:


> Shifter said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lindypops said:
> 
> 
> And have I said this before? but I have been told by an ex-NHS midwife that doctors have been known to exaggerate the risks to your LO's health during labour, so as to secure permission for the interventions they want to make. As if that is going to help the experience for mother and child! Grrr!
> 
> Yep, and not just when in labour, but if you go past 40 weeks too. The consultant I saw at 41 weeks tried to tell me that there were risks at going past 41 weeks. I smiled and told him that there is no medical evidence to suggest that. Once he realised I was well informed he dropped the BS and admitted that they are told to try and scare pregnant women :shock:Click to expand...
> 
> You're joking - he actually admitted that to you?!!Click to expand...

Yup. I think the words he actually used were something like "You've obviously done your research. It's policy to make you aware of the risks, but you know what those _really_ are." It was basically implied in his tone that he knew that I knew the risks were not as serious as he was expected to make out.


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## lovedupgirl

I have heard all sorts of excuses as to why people can not have a homebirths:

Too short/tall
Too old/young
High blood pressure(with no evidence)
Dont have a land line/central heating

I know of people who have been told that they are putting their babies lifes at risk by having a homebirth!If a DR is anti-homebirth they will try to use every scare tactic possible to get you in to hospital.

I dont see what the big deal is women have been having babies at home for centuries!What do they think happened before maternity wards?Also it is proven that women having homebirths need less pain relief, have shorter labours,and less chance of developing PND.

The only way they are getting me into hospital this time is if they drag me in kicking and screaming!:rofl:


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## purple_socks

lovedupgirl said:


> I know of people who have been told that they are putting their babies lifes at risk by having a homebirth!If a DR is anti-homebirth they will try to use every scare tactic possible to get you in to hospital.

I really don't understand how Drs and MWs who r apparently well educated and understanding of the world of medicine can say that abt homebirth. I might b wrong abt this but surely after a 'normal' pregnancy nothing magical happens in hospital to prevent problems arrising during labour? nothing that can't b done at a homebirth? At a homebirth u have the baby's heart rate monitored and all the checks u would have at hospital...if anything u get more attention coz its just u and the MWs and if something showed up as wrong then off u pop in an ambulance. The only thing u can't have at a homebirth is certain types of pain relief which isn't a reason to say ur putting ur baby's life at risk?! infact isn't it better 4 bubs if u dont use drugs? 
i don't understand how people who've spent ages studying medicine dont see the trouble all these hospital interventions cause...because the more i research interventions during pregnancy (even when i find research in books that are slightly pro the intervention) i can clearly see that there r ALOT of downsides. i don't understand why despite the evenidence they still insist on making perfectly healthy women come to hospital and have loads of stuff done to them-and doesn't the fact they have to lie/over dramatise risks to make that happen make them wonder if it really is needed? do they get commision from the maternity ward or something?

oowf rant over!!!...not sure where that came from!?


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## marley2580

I think it's because they do see things go wrong with childbirth - they don't see the nice calm homebirths or MW unit births, they only see the ones where things either go wrong or are perceived to have gone wrong. I actually saw today that one in 8 childbirths in the UK and one in 3 in the US are c-sections, I think that docs feel that they can control a c-section more than they can a natural childbirth.


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## Mrs. JJ

marley2580 said:


> I think it's because they do see things go wrong with childbirth - they don't see the nice calm homebirths or MW unit births, they only see the ones where things either go wrong or are perceived to have gone wrong. I actually saw today that one in 8 childbirths in the UK and one in 3 in the US are c-sections, I think that docs feel that they can control a c-section more than they can a natural childbirth.

Freakin America! Doctors jump the gun constantly here. I don't trust hosptails, plain and simple. Western Medicine causes more problems then it fixes!!!


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## purple_socks

really sorry 4 this but i need a moan...what just happened to me is ironic really since we'd just been talking abt Drs being anti HB. 
bit of background: i haven't seen my MW since booking in appointment. I've told 2 different MWs that i've seen at anti natal appointments that i want a HB and they've been fine with it. No1s mentioned that my high BMI could b an issue (i knew from homebirth.org that some people had an issue with booking a HB with high BMI but thought i'd got away with it). i saw a consultant early on due to high BMI and he booked me for a GTT and 2 growth scans...all of which have come back fine. I've never had raised BP or anything. I hadn't offically been booked for a HB coz i keep being told to see my MW so she can chat to me abt it which i finally managed to do abt an hour ago. Anyway she told me b4 i booked anything i really need to see a consultant again due to high BMI (y i have no idea...all she said was she would feel more comfortable if i did?!) I told her i am happy to see consultant (i dont wanna b seen as awkward) but that unless there is a medical reason (not just 'what ifs') or a reason for me needing some sort of procedure that can only happen in hospital i will still b going ahead with home birth.She told me that he would probably advise i didn't go with a HB (she was almost wanring me that he'd try to bully me out of it a bit) I explained i've researched HB well especially in regards to having high BMI. Considering i had no problems in last scan- baby was spot on the middle lines on the little chart thingys and GTT was fine i don't see the problem. MW said if i get told i 'shouldn't' have one she'll arrange 4 me to see the head MW and all that. I'm really annoyed this has happened now! i haven't kept it a secret that i want a homebirth so y all this fuss right at the end? Every test has come out fine (oh apart from 2day i had sugar in my urine...but i had eaten lunch b4 i wee'd in the pot! so hoping thats fine) i really thought i must b in a pro HB area coz i hadn't had any fuss made so far but apparently not. I know my rights and i know i'll get my HB in the end but i really didn't wanna have to fight 4 it- i'm really bad with confrontation!! it makes me feel really horrible...i'm so so so annoyed :-(


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## Mrs. JJ

:hugs: Purple Socks. Don't let them bully you into anything!!!!!!


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## marley2580

Stick to your guns. If I was you I would refuse to see the consultant, it's just unneeded stress. I'm having a HBAC and (assuming my scan shows that my placenta has moved) I'll be refusing to see the consultant.


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## purple_socks

hmm...i did think abt saying no to the consultant but kinda thought if i saw one i could ask for another growth scan...that way i would def knwo there was nothing to worry abt with all this possible 'giant baby/ sholder dystocia coz i have a high BMI' business and i would have a much better case to argue!

Grrr...its all such sillyness! theres no reason for me not to have a HB!


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## marley2580

You can still have a growth scan without seeing the consultant. As I said, I've got a 34 week scan to see if the placenta has moved. I'm also booked in for a consultant appointment right after to go over the results of the scan, but if the placenta has moved I'll request a MW only for my 34 week anti-natal checks as there will be no need to see the doc.


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## Shifter

:hugs: purple socks. Sorry about this. I too would refuse to see the consultant and I'm sure you already know to write to the HOM to insist on competent MWs to attend you at home.


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## purple_socks

reading all ur posts has made me think i don't wanna see the consultant...firstly i can't see what a consultants gonna say thats gonna change my mind (and that i haven't already heard/come across in my research) and secondly i just plain dont want to!!! 

So i'm gonna try and catch my MW before she makes the appointment 2moro...how should i word my refusal without being rude but still leaving no room for her to try and change my mind? i'm so bad at articulating myself under pressure...i'll only waffle and prob end up agreeing to have my baby in a medical research lab by accident or something!!! also should i just ask her for a growth scan...i've never tried to organsie a scan myself?


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## lindypops

Your mw sounds really supportive, on the positive side.

I agree that docs rarely see the homebirth/calm and gentle side of childbirth. I think that one reason my mw is so supportive is that she has had two homebirths of her own.

I also suppose that doctors/obstetricians have to believe in intervention or they wouldn't be in that profession in the first place. In ER and Holby most of the surgeons are really arrogant (!) so they must believe that what they are doing is 'best' - it must be the same to a certain extent in real life!

I'm seeing my doctor today for a routine 32 week appointment and I'm going to have the homebirth chat with her - will be interesting to see what she says. She thinks I was suffering with ante natal depression in 1st tri, so may mention this.

I've just remembered that I told the mw I didn't agree with her assessment of depression and she's written it in my notes - which the doc will undoubtedly see today!!!


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## marley2580

purple_socks said:


> reading all ur posts has made me think i don't wanna see the consultant...firstly i can't see what a consultants gonna say thats gonna change my mind (and that i haven't already heard/come across in my research) and secondly i just plain dont want to!!!
> 
> So i'm gonna try and catch my MW before she makes the appointment 2moro...how should i word my refusal without being rude but still leaving no room for her to try and change my mind? i'm so bad at articulating myself under pressure...i'll only waffle and prob end up agreeing to have my baby in a medical research lab by accident or something!!! also should i just ask her for a growth scan...i've never tried to organsie a scan myself?

Do you feel that you need the scan? If so call the MW and ask her to arrange it but just explain that if it doesn't show a problem then you don't see the point of seeing the consultant.


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## purple_socks

i don't really feel i 'need' a scan at all...i thought i'd suggest one to put an end to all these claims that a high BMI leads to giant babies. i'm satsified that from the last growth scan that showed baby was a fine size for dates. The risk factors for someone with high BMI wanting a home birth is mostly linked to gestational diabeties (which from my GTT i don't have) and therefore possible larger babies. like i said in a previous post- my GTT results were fine, i've never had high BP and 2 growth scans showed baby was normal size...so its all very week reasoning for me not to have a HB in my opinion

Anywho called the MW this morning and said i'd had a think abt it over night and would like to decline the consultant appointment. i said i would b happy to have a growth scan if the concern was big baby/ sholder dystocia. She told me the consultant would have to book that because "they read the report and determine if a scan is needed" (i have no idea what report she's talking abt?! it baffled me completely) In the end we eneded the conversation with her saying she'd have to 'look into it' and she'd get back to me! what a pain!  If they're going to try and convince me i have to see a consultant for a scan i'm gonna say i'm completely satisfied with all the results i've seen so far that there is no cause for concern regarding me having a home birth...i was suggesting a scan for their peace of mind.


----------



## Cariad_bach

purple_socks said:


> Anywho called the MW this morning and said i'd had a think abt it over night and would like to decline the consultant appointment. i said i would b happy to have a growth scan if the concern was big baby/ sholder dystocia. She told me the consultant would have to book that because "they read the report and determine if a scan is needed" (i have no idea what report she's talking abt?! it baffled me completely) In the end we eneded the conversation with her saying she'd have to 'look into it' and she'd get back to me! what a pain!  If they're going to try and convince me i have to see a consultant for a scan i'm gonna say i'm completely satisfied with all the results i've seen so far that there is no cause for concern regarding me having a home birth...i was suggesting a scan for their peace of mind.

My god sounds like loads of red tape and messing about!
I hope you get a positive outcome one way or the other hun xxx


----------



## purple_socks

MW just called back...she wants me to meet with head MW and herself on tues and 'go from there' i'm a bit scared they're gonna gang up on me but i'm quite confident that they have no reason 4 telling me a HB isn't safe so i'm sure i'll b winning this one! . 

tis all such a bunch of sillyness... tis quite stressful for no reason. think i might go back to bed now! 

MW had a little moan at me for cancelling an appointment with anesatist (sp?) ages ago so went thro the fact i cancelled that coz i dont plan on having an epidural even if i do to hospital (its not advised with spd) but if she feels its that important i can make another appointment (she said it would prob b fine). She had another little try to get me to meet with consultant which i refused and explained my reasons and that was that...i can't tell if she's on my side or not. i think that on the whole she is but i think she'd prefer it if i didn't cause her any extra hassle and when push comes to shove she'll side with consultants and 'procedure'...i think she might b a bit of a whimp and side with whoever shouts loudest! ah well we'll see on tues- hopefully that'll b the end of it all


----------



## star-dust

My god purple socks, thats awful, Im sorry but what happend to the birth of your choice, since when did it become, birth for the convienance of the health people!!
Stick to your guns and stand your ground, tell em they will ahve a bunch of hormaonal pregnant b&b women protesting if they push you any more to a hospital/epiduural false birth that you clearly dont want!
you seem to have done the sensiable thing of look into everything, the pros, probs, etc you know your rights, so fook em!
when push comes to shove and you go into labour, if you feel you can cope dont feckin call them until its to late and they cant move you!

have just read though thread, been a while since I caught up, I dnt see my m/w till July going to mention hb to her then, Im not sure if i mentioned it before, but when I rung up once befoer I was told they didnt have a m/w avaliable to talk to me as 1 women was in labour....1 women no m/w avaliable .... great so what happens if I get a hb and another womens in hospital in labour....! I aint going in jsut to make it easier for them!! 

Hope everyones well, and your bumps are growing well!


----------



## lindypops

Just got back from my 32 week appointment - with the doc, not the mw. She supports homebirths too, luckily - I didn't want a battle on my hands!

She did say something along the lines of 'as long as there are no complications' - which is fine, I didn't bother to comment, and has written something in my notes along the lines of 'as long as pregnancy progresses low-risk'. I obviously agree with this to a large extent, but don't want her to come back later and say I'd agreed to a hospital birth if they said I should have one, just like that.

Still, no point in anticipating problems and worrying about them!

Purple socks - good luck in your meeting. You don't sound like the kind of person who would let themselves be fobbed off!


----------



## purple_socks

thanks 4 ur support guys...i'll let u know how it goes on tues.
star_dust: i just had a little chuckle at the amusing vision that came to mind of my v small front room full of pregnant b&b homebirth supporters with placards protesting on tues...i'd love to see the MWs faces!


----------



## Shifter

:hug: purple socks. I would be a little concerned about this meeting as I've heard other women describe such meetings as an attempt to gang up on and bully the pregnant woman into a hospital birth. I hope that isn't the case, but be prepared for that. You don't have to meet with them if you don't want a confrontation. A firm letter to the HOM (you don't have to meet her) telling her that you are planning a hb and expect confident and supportive care will get you what you want without putting yourself into a situation where you may be manipulated.


----------



## Cariad_bach

purple socks that sounds stressful .. hopefully it will be a nice friendly group meeting/chat but just in case will you be taking your OH or someone along with you to .. well help fight your corner?

Lindypops glad all went well xxx


----------



## lindypops

Thanks, Cariad - and thanks for the advice about letter-writing, Shifter. I fully intend to write letters to CEO of the trust, as well as HOM (and some people I know have recommended I cc in my MP), just to add weight to my 'campaign'!


----------



## purple_socks

Cariad_bach said:


> purple socks that sounds stressful .. hopefully it will be a nice friendly group meeting/chat but just in case will you be taking your OH or someone along with you to .. well help fight your corner?
> 
> Lindypops glad all went well xxx

well we weren't sure...we were talking abt this last night. OH is a contractor so what he doesn't work he doesn't get paid 4. Meeting is at 12 and he works an hour away so he'd miss out on quite alot of pay which we could with at the moment...and to b honest he's not the most out spoken man! i might get a friend to b with me.


----------



## lozzy21

purple_socks said:


> Cariad_bach said:
> 
> 
> purple socks that sounds stressful .. hopefully it will be a nice friendly group meeting/chat but just in case will you be taking your OH or someone along with you to .. well help fight your corner?
> 
> Lindypops glad all went well xxx
> 
> well we weren't sure...we were talking abt this last night. OH is a contractor so what he doesn't work he doesn't get paid 4. Meeting is at 12 and he works an hour away so he'd miss out on quite alot of pay which we could with at the moment...and to b honest he's not the most out spoken man! i might get a friend to b with me.Click to expand...

Take your most gobby outspoken friend! Give her all the info so she can help back you up!


----------



## JayleighAnn

Posted this in 3rd tri, but will add it here as well

Back from obstetrics appointment, doctor OK'd my homebirth as long as I'm aware of the risks and that any emergency situation can't be handled as quickly as in hospital.

He also said he had no idea why my midwife sent me for a scan when they do them unless your 3cm over and said that at this late stage in pregnancy fundal height is very unreliable anyway. 

So I ordered my La Bassine pool :)


----------



## purple_socks

JayleighAnn said:


> Posted this in 3rd tri, but will add it here as well
> 
> Back from obstetrics appointment, doctor OK'd my homebirth as long as I'm aware of the risks and that any emergency situation can't be handled as quickly as in hospital.
> 
> He also said he had no idea why my midwife sent me for a scan when they do them unless your 3cm over and said that at this late stage in pregnancy fundal height is very unreliable anyway.
> 
> So I ordered my La Bassine pool :)

yay good for u :happydance:


----------



## lovedupgirl

Had an appointment with the MW today, not my own MW though as she is away on holiday for the third time this year( alright for some!):rofl:

Had my first fundal height measurement recorded and at the moment I am measuring 26cm which is exactly the amount of weeks I am :happydance:
I am hoping and praying that the growth chart follows the correct curve this time as I know if it shows slow growth I will be referred for serial scans and bullied into a hospital birth with induction again :hissy:

I know there just trying to be safe but fundal height measurements are very unreliable and after my last 2 inductions I would feel really uncomfortable with going through it again.

Please grow nice and big for mammy buba!


----------



## Cariad_bach

JayleighAnn thats fantastic news hun :hugs: :happydance:


purple_socks like lozzy21 said if i was you id get your most outspoken friend to come round one evening, educate her on everything and then take her with you, just so its not a 2 on to 1 meeting ;)


lovedupgirl thats great news hun xxx


----------



## lindypops

That's great, JayleighAnn.

Lovedupgirl: keep eating!!


----------



## star-dust

lovedupgirl I agree with lindy!!!


----------



## Rebaby

Had my first negative reaction towards homebirth last week when OH's friend (who has an opinion on EVERYTHING) came over to see our new place, and told me basically i shouldn't have a homebirth as it is dangerous and in an emergency i won't be able to get to the hospital in time.

I was sooooo mad, i am amazed i managed to keep my cool actually. I told him that as a neonatal nurse i am well aware of the risks relating to childbirth, and that i am having a normal low-risk pregnancy so far, and that i will be having a home birth basically.

What i wanted to say was "WTF has it got to do with you?! And WTF do you know about pregnancy or childbirth or anything?!" :hissy:


----------



## lindypops

Him?! If it was a person who was already a mother I could imagine them having an opinion based on their own experience.

What a dick! And I'm impressed with the way you held it together - I wouldn't be able to.


----------



## Shifter

Lovedupgirl: at least you know that fundal height is unreliable so if it does come up as an issue further down the line hopefully you'll be able to be firm about the choices you have made and refuse any intervention you aren't happy with.

Rebaby - what a load of rubbish. I never faced any negativity, all I got was "You are brave" :dohh: I would say "Actually studies have shown that home births are safer than hospital. I'm not brave, I'm too scared to give birth in hospital with all those scary machines, unnecessary interventions and infections waiting to happen." That usually shut them up lol!


----------



## Cariad_bach

Shifter i get that alot to .. the whole OMG your Brave thing, im a blooming coward who's terrified of Hospitals, Doctors and Medical cock ups!!!

Rebaby how on earth did you keep your cool! id have lost it :blush:


----------



## JayleighAnn

look what arrived this morning :)


----------



## star-dust

JayleighAnn said:


> look what arrived this morning :)

Now that looks lush, I want one just for the garden!!


----------



## marley2580

That's the pool I'll be getting.


----------



## mrsstreet0417

I'm not pregnant yet, so hope you ladies don''t mind if I butt in :blush: but when I do have a baby I will be having a at-home water birth. Started doing the research lately and DH and I decided that that was the best choice for us. We've already talked to my MIL about it,too, she's a midwife, and will likely be delivering baby. Will also be seeing another doctor too ofc to make sure things go fine, but glad she will be delivering, as there will be no arguing about what is the best thing. The only concern I had was the debris in the pool, but decided to just get a net and try our best to get all of the muck out as soon as possible. DH has already told me he wants to be in the pool with me, no matter what and will be catching baby as well when baby comes out :) :happydance:


Oh, and btw, I have chosen La Bassine as my birthing pool :D Noticed a few of you ladies have one/ are planning to use one...


----------



## JayleighAnn

star-dust said:


> JayleighAnn said:
> 
> 
> look what arrived this morning :)
> 
> Now that looks lush, I want one just for the garden!!Click to expand...

I want it for my bath lol

It's so big and just lush! I'm so tempted to use it now lol


----------



## JayleighAnn

I've been thinking and I'm really worried that when I see midwife on weds, she's gunna turn around and say something like it too late to book my homebirth as I'll be 38+5 or something like that.

I really dont no what her problem is, but the whole way through my preg she refused to talk to me about my birth plan or my home birth, and then when I really pushed it, "problems" started appearing, like measuring big for dates (I've always measuring big) and mentioning how I live in a 1st floor flat, so have one flight of stairs to get to my door.


----------



## marley2580

Did I see you on the homebirth yahoo group? I really think that you need to get in touch with the supervisor of MWs, they shouldn't be leaving things this late - my HB has been booked since my booking in app at 10 weeks!


----------



## star-dust

marley2580 said:


> Did I see you on the homebirth yahoo group? I really think that you need to get in touch with the supervisor of MWs, they shouldn't be leaving things this late - my HB has been booked since my booking in app at 10 weeks!

OO I like yahoo groups

**heads off to find it


----------



## JayleighAnn

marley2580 said:


> Did I see you on the homebirth yahoo group? I really think that you need to get in touch with the supervisor of MWs, they shouldn't be leaving things this late - my HB has been booked since my booking in app at 10 weeks!

Yes that was me lol

I'm going to see my normal midwife on wednesday, and if I'm not happy with how she is with me or if she refuses to sort it out, I'll speak to the supervisor or mw's.

it said on aims to write rather than phone them, but I'm worried this will take too long?


----------



## marley2580

If it's urgent I'd say phone them and ask for advice, even if it's just to say that you'll be emailing them.


----------



## Shifter

:hugs: JayleighAnn, hope you get it sorted. Go for it and get in your pool, it'll help you relax and you'll need to do a practice run anyway to see how long it takes to fill and iron out any kinks in getting it prepped. We had a La Bassine too and it was fab! On our first test run we found that the attachment to the tap wasn't very good so hubby had to go out and get something to improve it. We had about half a dozen test runs, it was lovely to spend an hour or two in it at the end when I was too big to get in and out of the bath lol!!


----------



## lovedupgirl

So being the organised woman I am Iv'e drawn up a list of all the things Im going to need for my homebirth :rofl:, would you girls take a look and suggest anything else I might need/want?

For labour:

* Old sheets, pillow cases, duvet cover, newspaper and water proof sheet for protecting bed and floor.
* 2 bowls for placenta/sick
* Ice cubes, ice lollies and lucozade
* Bendy straws
* fan and cooling spray
* hair bands/bobbles
* face cloths
* lip balm
* old nightie
* warm socks for transition
* hot water bottle and unscented massage oil for back pain
* birthing ball

For midwifes:

* liquid soap and towels
* lamp with flexible neck
* lots of tea/coffee biscuits

for baby:

* towels
* clothes warmed up on radiator
* nappies

Have I missed anything?

Also thinking about using hypnobirthing CD has anyone used them or anybody planning to use?


----------



## purple_socks

lovedupgirl said:


> So being the organised woman I am Iv'e drawn up a list of all the things Im going to need for my homebirth :rofl:, would you girls take a look and suggest anything else I might need/want?
> 
> For labour:
> 
> * Old sheets, pillow cases, duvet cover, newspaper and water proof sheet for protecting bed and floor.
> * 2 bowls for placenta/sick
> * Ice cubes, ice lollies and lucozade
> * Bendy straws
> * fan and cooling spray
> * hair bands/bobbles
> * face cloths
> * lip balm
> * old nightie
> * warm socks for transition
> * hot water bottle and unscented massage oil for back pain
> * birthing ball
> 
> For midwifes:
> 
> * liquid soap and towels
> * lamp with flexible neck
> * lots of tea/coffee biscuits
> 
> for baby:
> 
> * towels
> * clothes warmed up on radiator
> * nappies
> 
> Have I missed anything?
> 
> Also thinking about using hypnobirthing CD has anyone used them or anybody planning to use?

all sounds good to me...i've got a hypnobirthing cd and a meditation music cd to use during birth also i've got a free standing fan and a plug in heater with my homebirth supplies too so i can control temp better.

Can't remember where i heard this...might have been in my nct class but some said to me to get some tin foil. put my oven on the lowest setting when labour starts to get going and wrap a few folded towles in foil and keep them in the oven so when LO arrives theres towles warmed to a perfect temp without the need for blasting out the heating throughout labour...so maybe add tin foil to ur list.


----------



## star-dust

confused by lamp with flexiable neck?!!!!!


----------



## lovedupgirl

star-dust said:


> confused by lamp with flexiable neck?!!!!!

For midwife so she can do examinations in dim lighting :rofl:


----------



## Shifter

lovedupgirl said:


> For midwifes:
> 
> * liquid soap and towels
> * lamp with flexible neck
> * lots of tea/coffee biscuits

They will bring their own sterile hand wash hun. Also pretty sure they don't need a lamp lol! Bring on the biscuits though!



lovedupgirl said:


> Also thinking about using hypnobirthing CD has anyone used them or anybody planning to use?

I didn't use the HypnoBirthing (TM) CD, I used Tranceforming Childbirth by Tina Taylor and Nick Kemp, it was great :thumbup:


----------



## JayleighAnn

Shifter said:


> :hugs: JayleighAnn, hope you get it sorted. Go for it and get in your pool, it'll help you relax and you'll need to do a practice run anyway to see how long it takes to fill and iron out any kinks in getting it prepped. We had a La Bassine too and it was fab! On our first test run we found that the attachment to the tap wasn't very good so hubby had to go out and get something to improve it. We had about half a dozen test runs, it was lovely to spend an hour or two in it at the end when I was too big to get in and out of the bath lol!!

I've had one test run so far and it is lush!!!!! took 5 mins to blow up but 40 to fill cause if we had the taps on too strong the connector spouted water everywhere, will have to go bnq n get another one cause its rubbish

How long does it stay warm for? x


----------



## Shifter

JayleighAnn said:


> I've had one test run so far and it is lush!!!!! took 5 mins to blow up but 40 to fill cause if we had the taps on too strong the connector spouted water everywhere, will have to go bnq n get another one cause its rubbish
> 
> How long does it stay warm for? x

We had the exact same problem. We didn't get a whole new connector though. Andy got some little rubber rings and put one into the connector against the tap, it regulated the flow and improved the pressure so that we could turn the taps on higher, still not full but almost. We got the fill time to about 30 minutes and left it partially inflated all the time so it only took 5 minutes to inflate fully.

During labour I was in it for about four hours and it needed warming up once and that was only when we all thought we were nearly there and wanted it the right temp for bubs, I was comfortable enough still.


----------



## Cariad_bach

Shifter said:


> lovedupgirl said:
> 
> 
> For midwifes:
> 
> * liquid soap and towels
> * lamp with flexible neck
> * lots of tea/coffee biscuits
> 
> They will bring their own sterile hand wash hun. Also pretty sure they don't need a lamp lol! Bring on the biscuits though!Click to expand...

:rofl: Mines asked me to make sure theres a torch for the examinations lol!!


----------



## JayleighAnn

Cariad_bach said:


> Shifter said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lovedupgirl said:
> 
> 
> For midwifes:
> 
> * liquid soap and towels
> * lamp with flexible neck
> * lots of tea/coffee biscuits
> 
> They will bring their own sterile hand wash hun. Also pretty sure they don't need a lamp lol! Bring on the biscuits though!Click to expand...
> 
> :rofl: Mines asked me to make sure theres a torch for the examinations lol!!Click to expand...

When I had my colopscopy thingy the other month (yeah I paid attention lol) for my cervical polyp, the gynea had this massive flexi lamp, and his microscope....and a miners tourch on his head!!

I was like err love it aint that big!!!


----------



## Shifter

My MWs just felt their way around lol! We had the lights in the room dimmed at all times, but they didn't need to look, just went by what they could feel. Of course, I didn't intend on having VEs and next time I will make sure I stick to my intentions lol!


----------



## JayleighAnn

Shifter said:


> My MWs just felt their way around lol! We had the lights in the room dimmed at all times, but they didn't need to look, just went by what they could feel. Of course, I didn't intend on having VEs and next time I will make sure I stick to my intentions lol!

I've written on my birth plan for VE only when I feel nesecerry and I will ask for them when I believe I need them.

I'm planning on having the lights low, I have a beautiful Salt Crystal lamp that I'm planning to use to light the room.


----------



## purple_socks

i have a question 4 u guys that have already had a homebirth (or a hospital birth for that matter) and u requested no VEs. How did ur MW react? i've got this written on my birth plan and was wondering if i'm gonna have to fight with the MW abt it or not?


----------



## lindypops

I've got my pool organised now - borrowing it from someone, it's been used twice before. It's the bigger sized one - so DH can def get in if we want him to (he was very against this at first but lately has said 'if I get in' a couple of times, so I think he's now coming around to the idea, which is what I want...maybe I'll buy him some Speedos lol!


----------



## lovedupgirl

yeah glad you got your pool lindypops!Not long now!


----------



## Shifter

I had "limited VEs" written in my birth plan. My CMW who originally attended me at home when labour started said that she was fine with that and just asked if I wanted to be checked. The other two MWs who were there over night showed no regard for this request and did not remind me of it when I was consenting to them. I wish someone would have reminded me. I felt an extremely powerful curiosity to know how I was progressing, which turned out to be my downfall. Frustration at the lack of dilation was what resulted in me agreeing to ARM and it all went down hill from there. If I had been refusing VEs then things would have been very different, whether for better or worse we will never know.


----------



## lindypops

Shifter said:


> I had "limited VEs" written in my birth plan. My CMW who originally attended me at home when labour started said that she was fine with that and just asked if I wanted to be checked. The other two MWs who were there over night showed no regard for this request and did not remind me of it when I was consenting to them. I wish someone would have reminded me. I felt an extremely powerful curiosity to know how I was progressing, which turned out to be my downfall. Frustration at the lack of dilation was what resulted in me agreeing to ARM and it all went down hill from there. If I had been refusing VEs then things would have been very different, whether for better or worse we will never know.

It's interesting to hear how difficult it is to be 'you' during labour - ie forgetting stuff you wanted/being more susceptible to stuff you never thought you'd want.


----------



## purple_socks

Shifter said:


> I had "limited VEs" written in my birth plan. My CMW who originally attended me at home when labour started said that she was fine with that and just asked if I wanted to be checked. The other two MWs who were there over night showed no regard for this request and did not remind me of it when I was consenting to them. I wish someone would have reminded me. I felt an extremely powerful curiosity to know how I was progressing, which turned out to be my downfall. Frustration at the lack of dilation was what resulted in me agreeing to ARM and it all went down hill from there. If I had been refusing VEs then things would have been very different, whether for better or worse we will never know.

thats really interesting...its a shame the MWs never respected ur plan and reminded u of ur wishes. i'm gonna bare that in mind and get OH to remind me of birth plan wishes...he can b the birth plan police!!


----------



## JayleighAnn

Shifter I forgot to ask, did it not weaken the pool by leaving it half inflated? I thought about doing this but didn't know if it would?


----------



## purple_socks

Good news guys. We had our meeting with the MW and her supervisor. i ended up getting OH to come home from work to back me up...bless him he spent until midnight last night reading research i'd printed him! Anyway the supervisor was lovely. She seems really pro homebirth and said she really didn't see anything wrong with it. She said she thinks BMI alone (when no other complications have shown throught pregnancy) being used as a reason to class someone as high risk is silly and theres no evidence for it (my thoughts exactly). She said i was fine...she could feel baby fine...he's fully engaged and not big so no probs at all. She even started planning where we should put everything 4 labour day then showed OH some reflexology! so all in all it went sooo much better than i expected! i was ready for a fight


----------



## JayleighAnn

Thats great news socks!! 

Hope mine goes so smoothly with m/w tomorrow lol im geared up for a fight and a few words about taking it above her head if she wont sort it out


----------



## JayleighAnn

Oh I forgot, ladies who had a birth pool or are planning one, are you/did you go naked?

I dunno if I should or not?


----------



## lindypops

That is great news, PS. I'm really pleased for you.

JayleighAnn - I don't think I'm going to be that bothered about going naked - being in the pool itself will afford more privacy anyway and I often feel constricted by things like that (I'm one of those people who doesn't like to be touched when I'm feeling sick) - some posts on this forum have said they were planning to wear a bikini top and some didn't bother in the end.

I am going to buy a dark nightie, though, for when I get out.


----------



## purple_socks

JayleighAnn said:


> Oh I forgot, ladies who had a birth pool or are planning one, are you/did you go naked?
> 
> I dunno if I should or not?

i've got a beach coverup kaftan type thingy from tesco...it was £5. its black and its made of really light almost net like cotton so it wont suck up loads of water and feel heavy and it doesn't cling to me once wet. Its not see thro either like some beach cover ups- (well maybe if u looked really closely or shone a light thro it it might b but on the whole it hides enough 4 my liking) i've been loving wearing it in the hot weather lately...its really cool and baggy.


----------



## Shifter

That's great PS!

JayleighAnn - I don't think the pool was weakened by leaving it partially inflated, but I don't know. 

I wore a bikini top in the pool. Even though my mum was there and I would never have thought I would be comfortable being bottomless in front of her but at the time I really didn't care. In the pool it was private enough and getting in and out it was only brief moments when I didn't have a towel around me. She got much more graphic a show once we transferred to hospital and at that point modesty really wasn't much of an option and I had other more important things on my mind.


----------



## JayleighAnn

I've got a tankini top on stand by incase I feel I need it, but as I'm hoping OH will massage my back (if I feel I want it at the time) then I'm guessing I'll just hop about naked lol

I was thinking about it last night and obviously the midwives aren't going to care about seeing me naked and it's only my mum and my OH who will see me as well and I'm not fussed about that. I think it's just more that I feel a bit...vulnerable when I'm naked if that makes sense?


----------



## lindypops

It makes total sense. 

For me, I think/hope being in the water will offset that feeling of vulnerability.


----------



## JayleighAnn

lindypops said:


> It makes total sense.
> 
> For me, I think/hope being in the water will offset that feeling of vulnerability.

I'm hoping it will, with the birth pool being blue and I'm planning on low lighting (if I give birth at night that is) so I should feel cocooned in it


----------



## JayleighAnn

Back with good news, homebirth all ok'd she's coming to ours on Friday with the supervisor of midwives to discuss and sort it out properly. Is it normal to have the som come as well??


----------



## Shifter

JayleighAnn said:


> Back with good news, homebirth all ok'd she's coming to ours on Friday with the supervisor of midwives to discuss and sort it out properly. Is it normal to have the som come as well??

Often I've heard that that sort of situation is used to bully women into hospital births, but Socks had a positive meeting so hopefully yours will be the same.


----------



## lindypops

Congrats and stand your ground if they do try to talk you out of it. If they have the time and money to send the som to you, they can damn well send out two mws when you need them!


----------



## JayleighAnn

Well she said it was just to sort everything out :S I hope their not planning to try bully me out of it cause they'll have a shock!!!


----------



## JayleighAnn

Shifter said:


> JayleighAnn said:
> 
> 
> Back with good news, homebirth all ok'd she's coming to ours on Friday with the supervisor of midwives to discuss and sort it out properly. Is it normal to have the som come as well??
> 
> Often I've heard that that sort of situation is used to bully women into hospital births, but Socks had a positive meeting so hopefully yours will be the same.Click to expand...

She's just rang me to say the SoM can't make it until Tuesday but she said all their going to do is do a risk assessment of our flat and put the final touches to my birth plan. 

She also said if I go into labour before that I will have to go to hospital as I wouldn't of had my risk assessment done. So baby has to stay in until Tuesday lol


----------



## purple_socks

JayleighAnn said:


> I've got a tankini top on stand by incase I feel I need it, but as I'm hoping OH will massage my back (if I feel I want it at the time) then I'm guessing I'll just hop about naked lol
> 
> I was thinking about it last night and obviously the midwives aren't going to care about seeing me naked and it's only my mum and my OH who will see me as well and I'm not fussed about that. I think it's just more that I feel a bit...vulnerable when I'm naked if that makes sense?

that makes complete sense...i'm generally quite happy to b naked and i know MW has seen it all b4 but i wanted something there as an option incase i felt vulnerable (i imagine being the water i wouldn't feel vulnerable but getting out to go to loo etc might make me feel silly being the only naked in the room!! IYKWIM?) now if OH and MW were also naked i'd prob feel more confortable!:rofl:


----------



## JayleighAnn

purple_socks said:


> JayleighAnn said:
> 
> 
> I've got a tankini top on stand by incase I feel I need it, but as I'm hoping OH will massage my back (if I feel I want it at the time) then I'm guessing I'll just hop about naked lol
> 
> I was thinking about it last night and obviously the midwives aren't going to care about seeing me naked and it's only my mum and my OH who will see me as well and I'm not fussed about that. I think it's just more that I feel a bit...vulnerable when I'm naked if that makes sense?
> 
> that makes complete sense...i'm generally quite happy to b naked and i know MW has seen it all b4 but i wanted something there as an option incase i felt vulnerable (i imagine being the water i wouldn't feel vulnerable but getting out to go to loo etc might make me feel silly being the only naked in the room!! IYKWIM?) now if OH and MW were also naked i'd prob feel more confortable!:rofl:Click to expand...


Lol one big naked birth party wooo


----------



## Shifter

JayleighAnn said:


> Shifter said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> JayleighAnn said:
> 
> 
> Back with good news, homebirth all ok'd she's coming to ours on Friday with the supervisor of midwives to discuss and sort it out properly. Is it normal to have the som come as well??
> 
> Often I've heard that that sort of situation is used to bully women into hospital births, but Socks had a positive meeting so hopefully yours will be the same.Click to expand...
> 
> She's just rang me to say the SoM can't make it until Tuesday but she said all their going to do is do a risk assessment of our flat and put the final touches to my birth plan.
> 
> She also said if I go into labour before that I will have to go to hospital as I wouldn't of had my risk assessment done. So baby has to stay in until Tuesday lolClick to expand...

I'm not 100% sure about this, but I suspect it may be rubbish, or it may be something your NHS trust does that is not a national (and therefore legal) requirement. My area don't do risk assessments. No MW set foot in my house until I went into labour, it was never mentioned.


----------



## purple_socks

Shifter said:


> JayleighAnn said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Shifter said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> JayleighAnn said:
> 
> 
> Back with good news, homebirth all ok'd she's coming to ours on Friday with the supervisor of midwives to discuss and sort it out properly. Is it normal to have the som come as well??
> 
> Often I've heard that that sort of situation is used to bully women into hospital births, but Socks had a positive meeting so hopefully yours will be the same.Click to expand...
> 
> She's just rang me to say the SoM can't make it until Tuesday but she said all their going to do is do a risk assessment of our flat and put the final touches to my birth plan.
> 
> She also said if I go into labour before that I will have to go to hospital as I wouldn't of had my risk assessment done. So baby has to stay in until Tuesday lolClick to expand...
> 
> I'm not 100% sure about this, but I suspect it may be rubbish, or it may be something your NHS trust does that is not a national (and therefore legal) requirement. My area don't do risk assessments. No MW set foot in my house until I went into labour, it was never mentioned.Click to expand...

i think this is rubbish also...i asked my MW if she needed to do a RA or anything and she looked at me like i was mad. She said they might consider doing something like that if i lived somewhere difficult for an ambulance to get to so they had a plan for emergencies but it sounded like she'd never done one b4. As far as i could find in my research its not a legal requirement and it shouldn't b used as a reason to prevent u from having a HB...i can't seed y it would b needed really since u can give birth in a cupboard if u fancy...its ur choice. theres a story on homebirth.org abt a birth on a river boat!


----------



## JayleighAnn

Well I'm making my mum come over on that day for a bit of moral support cause she wont let them bully me lol

My mum had a home birth (ok 11 years ago) with the same CMW team and never needed a RA so I dunno, obviously things could of changed though so it's not a reliable comparison


----------



## purple_socks

hope it goes alright hun...i was pleasently supprised at how the meeting i had with MW and supervisor went. Hopefully all will b fine x


----------



## JayleighAnn

I hope so I'm just scared I'll go into labour before that and get told I "have" to go in and end up arguing with them to send someone out to me and I just really don't want the hassle whilst in labour.

I don't understand why they have to make it into such a fuss???

Oh yeah, their also now mentioning my BMI (36) which has never been a problem until now.....hmmm


----------



## lindypops

Perhaps they also painted the ra as 'needed' with your mum - doesn't mean it actually was :(


----------



## JayleighAnn

lindypops said:


> Perhaps they also painted the ra as 'needed' with your mum - doesn't mean it actually was :(

She said no one even mentioned it and never came to our house before she had my sister.

Her midwife was lovely though and very pro-homebirth.

Not to play the age card, but I've had it before, where people judge me as some silly 19yr old who can't make sensible decisions, can't help but think my mw would take me more seriously if i was older "sigh"


----------



## purple_socks

JayleighAnn said:


> I hope so I'm just scared I'll go into labour before that and get told I "have" to go in and end up arguing with them to send someone out to me and I just really don't want the hassle whilst in labour.
> 
> I don't understand why they have to make it into such a fuss???
> 
> Oh yeah, their also now mentioning my BMI (36) which has never been a problem until now.....hmmm


its annoying isn't it...its like they save up all the fuss for right near the end!? 

i had the whole BMI issue...i found this artical really useful https://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/lrgmoms.html. also check out homebirth.org...theres sections on legal requirments and wh to write to if ur not getting support etc. Arm urself with loads of facts just incase but hopefully u wont need to fight and it'll all b fine. i'll keep my fingers and toes crossed for u x


----------



## lindypops

JayleighAnn said:


> lindypops said:
> 
> 
> Perhaps they also painted the ra as 'needed' with your mum - doesn't mean it actually was :(
> 
> She said no one even mentioned it and never came to our house before she had my sister.
> 
> Her midwife was lovely though and very pro-homebirth.
> 
> Not to play the age card, but I've had it before, where people judge me as some silly 19yr old who can't make sensible decisions, can't help but think my mw would take me more seriously if i was older "sigh"Click to expand...

You mean you're only 19? How would you know what was best for you, then?! :rofl:


----------



## JayleighAnn

lindypops said:


> JayleighAnn said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lindypops said:
> 
> 
> Perhaps they also painted the ra as 'needed' with your mum - doesn't mean it actually was :(
> 
> She said no one even mentioned it and never came to our house before she had my sister.
> 
> Her midwife was lovely though and very pro-homebirth.
> 
> Not to play the age card, but I've had it before, where people judge me as some silly 19yr old who can't make sensible decisions, can't help but think my mw would take me more seriously if i was older "sigh"Click to expand...
> 
> You mean you're only 19? How would you know what was best for you, then?! :rofl:Click to expand...

Well clearly I don't, I have no mind of my own at 19  lol


----------



## purple_socks

i have another random question 4 u fellow homebirthers...does anyone know if we still get the bounty pack they hand out in hospitals? does the MW bring it or do we just not get one?


----------



## lindypops

I've no idea - good point!


----------



## JayleighAnn

I don't know, I was also thinking about that cause it has your application form for Child benefit in it dont it?


----------



## Shifter

The woman from Bounty came round the ward and we were meant to get one but she never came back lol! Don't know if you get one at home but I really wouldn't worry, it's just a load of advertising. You can get the child benefit claim form online.


----------



## JayleighAnn

My waters have gone :happydance: 7.05am this morning

Rang the birth centre and they said to come in to get checked out to make sure it is my waters in the next couple hours.

No contractions yet just period pains at the bottom of my bump. 

She also said to ring the community midwives office to see about my homebirth as I should still get it as it's not fair that they've not sorted out my risk assessment yet yayy


----------



## marley2580

Oooo, good luck.


----------



## lindypops

Yes, good luck!


----------



## purple_socks

ooow how exciting!!...good luck. i really hope u get ur homebirth without a fuss!


----------



## Rebaby

Oh wow, that's so exciting! Fingers crossed everything goes well hun and you get your homebirth!


----------



## Shifter

Good luck JayleighAnn!


----------



## star-dust

oo how exciting good luck xx


----------



## purple_socks

any news JayleighAnn? wondered if u'd spoken to MWs abt homebirth...hope everythings going well xx


----------



## marley2580

If you look on the 3rd tri section there's a post saying she had her baby. I don't think she got the home birth though, as the post said she wanted to get home soon.


----------



## star-dust

Congrats JayleighAnn x


----------



## JayleighAnn

Yeah I didn't get my homebirth, have posted in 3rd tri and birth stories with the reason why.
 
Was only in there for a total of 7 hours, 3 hours 35 in labour, 3 mins pushing :)


----------



## lovedupgirl

Big congrats hun!
:happydance:


----------



## Rebaby

I know i already said it but CONGRATULATIONS! :happydance:


----------



## purple_socks

aww huge congrats deary! x x x


----------



## star-dust

Just had this emailed to me, I know its australain but still. I cant find a link to the site unless Im being dumb so am copyin and pasting the wording!!




> BellyBelly.com.au IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT - June 2009
> 
> Hello everyone,
> 
> As you may already have heard, our Health Minster Nicola Roxon has introduced two bills to parliament to be passed - bills that will mean that midwives who attend homebirths as of July 2010 will be breaking the law - and subject to a $30,000 fine. This is discrimination at it's highest level; putting women out of work and taking away choice from women. This is all despite there being yet another study out telling us what we already know - homebirth for low risk women is just as safe as hospital birth - and this study was massive - 500,000 women strong.
> 
> BUT - THIS IS NOT JUST ABOUT HOMEBIRTH. THIS IS ABOUT HUMAN RIGHTS, WOMENS RIGHTS AND CHOICE.
> 
> What sort of society do you want this to become? Do you want someone else making all the decisions for you? Or do you want to choose what happens to you and your baby? The government is setting a dangerous standard, one not based on evidence or best care at that...
> 
> Women and men of Australia - we need to unite right now, and fast, before we lose something which is much much more than homebirth alone. Freebirthing (birth without any assistance) will no doubt increase as a result of this, so the decisions they are making are very poorly thought out.
> 
> So what can you do to help?
> 
> There are several quick and easy things we would love your help with which are listed below in separate sections to make this much easier to read. Please, no matter if you would choose homebirth or not, we need your help. Our daughters deserve to birth where they choose.
> 
> LETS MAKE THIS HUGE!!!! here will be plenty of media, let's show them what we've got... because I for one WILL NOT be bullied to give birth in a hospital. After the 6 years I have put into BellyBelly, two births in hospital, my training and passion for what I do... my dream is to birth at home, in water, for which will likely be the last time.
> 
> *** Don't forget to check out this moving clip (contains images of birth) and share it with your friends and family ***
> 
> TIME IS TICKING AWAY... WE NEED TO ACT NOW AND STOP THESE BILLS FROM PASSING BEFORE ITS TOO LATE... AND HOMEBIRTH IS ILLEGAL.
> 
> Kelly Winder
> Creator, BellyBelly.com.au
> BellyBelly Pregnancy Centre
> 
> ps. Don't forget to update your email address if you go on maternity leave or change your email address (see the bottom of the email on how to update).


----------



## lovedupgirl

:hissy::hissy: that is a complete piss take!how long before britain tries to do the same?It seems that the more time goes on the more rights people have taken away from them!birth is not about mother and baby anymore it is about doctors,they do what they want to us,speed up our labours,induce us, hook us up to monitors and keep us immobile all for the sake of our babys,or so they say,it more about the fact they are power mad and think they can play god!it really pisses me off birth is a natural event that has been going on since the beginning of time but is now some kind of medical circus thanks to students who are trained to see pregnancy as a illness and labour as a emergency:hissy:
RANT OVER 

Anyway star-dust how are your homebirth plans coming along?
My mw has told me that everything has to be 100% perfect before they will book me,so far so good nice normal blood pressure,urine fine,fundal height is measuring straight up the middle line.
I have an app with a consultant at the hospital in 6 weeks time hope he does not try to talk me out of it or he wil get more than he has bargained for!:rofl:
I have to have a scan at 36 weeks to check bubs is correct weight,head down and placenta is fine but if all that is ok I will be booked for my homebirth at 37 weeks.

What they dont realise is that I am having this baby at home if they like it or not,i will simply refuse to go to hospital!


----------



## Shifter

I saw that thing about Australia a while back. It's alarming that things would go backwards there when they are going forwards in other places.

I also find it very odd that different NHS trusts have such different attitudes towards home births. Mine were great, I was booked for HB as soon as I mentioned it with nothing but enthusiasm and a CMW who was very keen for me to have my HB even when I went past my edd. There were no hoops to jump through, no waiting for test results or suggestion of a 36 week scan. I was under consultant care for depression and also had a high BMI but neither were mentioned at all. I wish all areas were like that and that more women were encouraged like I was.


----------



## star-dust

Dont et this thread drop!! Im not seeing my midwife till second week july so will be tellin her I am havin a homebirth given all is well and baba is ok!
I joined the homebirth yahoo group, and have had some fantastic emails from people telling me, that I dont request a homebirth I tell m/w Im having one!!!!


----------



## purple_socks

star-dust said:


> Dont et this thread drop!! Im not seeing my midwife till second week july so will be tellin her I am havin a homebirth given all is well and baba is ok!
> I joined the homebirth yahoo group, and have had some fantastic emails from people telling me, that I dont request a homebirth I tell m/w Im having one!!!!

good luck hun...and good on the folk in the yahoo group! x


----------



## lindypops

Picking up my pool tomorrow - we're borrowing it from some peope we met at an NCT group. And they're going to show us how to use it. I can't wait to have a go!

I just need to write some letters to the hospital people to tell them our plans, make it official, so that they can see the need for this service and that we get the support we are entitled to.


----------



## Rebaby

Well we've moved house now but are still very much hoping for a homebirth! We're in a new area but i meet one of the new midwives on the 27th July (at 23+4) so i figure that's a good time to bring it up. I'm just hoping she has a good attitude as OH is working all that day so i'll be going along on my own and i am a bit of a wuss sometimes :blush: :rofl:


----------



## AmyBumble

Do you guys think that 36+4 is too late to bring up a homebirth with my midwife?

I had a previous c-section for failure to progress and I HATED being in the hospital, I felt so ill-at-ease and stressed out I'm sure the environment was at least half to blame for me having to have that section. They didnt tell us anything for days at a time! Only now Im realising I dont HAVE to go into hospital though lol. 

We're having a little girl and our first daughter passed away from SIDS in March '08. Its kind of only now sunk in that we're having another baby. The pregnancy seems to have flown by and Ive had NO counselling or support at all really. Pathetic NHS. I would feel so much more safe and comfortable at home.

I dont have any sweeps booked or anything and every time I've seen the consultant (who's useless) I've just been told, "oh, when you're a bit further along we'll discuss delivery options, its too soon now." (I mean, why even ASK me to come down to the hospital then!?)

If I phoned up my midwife tomorrow and said, "hey, guess what, I want a homebirth now," what do you guys think she'd do about it lol? Have I got any chance of a nice labour this time? :shrug:

Phew, rant over. Sorry about that guys lol. Think I needed it though...

:hug:


----------



## purple_socks

AmyBumble said:


> Do you guys think that 36+4 is too late to bring up a homebirth with my midwife?
> 
> I had a previous c-section for failure to progress and I HATED being in the hospital, I felt so ill-at-ease and stressed out I'm sure the environment was at least half to blame for me having to have that section. They didnt tell us anything for days at a time! Only now Im realising I dont HAVE to go into hospital though lol.
> 
> We're having a little girl and our first daughter passed away from SIDS in March '08. Its kind of only now sunk in that we're having another baby. The pregnancy seems to have flown by and Ive had NO counselling or support at all really. Pathetic NHS. I would feel so much more safe and comfortable at home.
> 
> I dont have any sweeps booked or anything and every time I've seen the consultant (who's useless) I've just been told, "oh, when you're a bit further along we'll discuss delivery options, its too soon now." (I mean, why even ASK me to come down to the hospital then!?)
> 
> If I phoned up my midwife tomorrow and said, "hey, guess what, I want a homebirth now," what do you guys think she'd do about it lol? Have I got any chance of a nice labour this time? :shrug:
> 
> Phew, rant over. Sorry about that guys lol. Think I needed it though...
> 
> :hug:

its never too late to book a homebirth...and don't let them tell u otherwise! i'd def call asap. hopefully u'll have a supportive MW but if not check out www.homebirth.org if u need any legal advice or info...especially abt home vbac. my advice (based on my experince) is to tell them ur having a home birth not ask them and don't let them bully u into see a consultant (they wanted me to see one coz i have a high BMI. midwife warned me he would prob say no to a homebirth but i researched the subject and thers no resason 4 it so i refused to see him). consultants usually aren't up 4 a homebirth and u really dont need their permission. u have the right to refuse to see them. seriously check out homebirth.org...i've found it soooo helpful. good luck hun.


----------



## anothersquish

Just sticking my nose in. I am planning a home birth, fortunately a VERY supportive midwife and hoping all goes breezily :)


----------



## star-dust

anothersquish said:


> Just sticking my nose in. I am planning a home birth, fortunately a VERY supportive midwife and hoping all goes breezily :)

hiya, welcome to the thread , and good luck x


----------



## AmyBumble

hiya, thanks for info purple_socks. Ive been having a good gander at homebirth.org and it is brilliant actually.

Cheers very much for info about consultant too, I hate going to see him and its such a difficult journey at mo with no car and bus service all gone to hell. I didnt realise you could just refuse lol! brilliant.


----------



## Mrs-N

im wanting a home birth as my last labour was very stressful and would like to be relaxed about it.

i wouldnt have a clue how to arrage a homebirth. 

can you PM me details.


----------



## Shifter

Hi to the new folks. 

Amy - I booked my homebirth at about 34 weeks and had a very supportive MW. I think she saw it coming as I had been talking about hypnobirthing and natural childbirth for weeks already!

Mrs N - just tell your MW you are planning a home birth. Take it from there. If she is supportive then :thumbup: If not, you just need to be firm about your intentions and put it in writing to the SOM (Supervisor of Midwives).


----------



## lovedupgirl

Hi girls anyone had a homebirth after being told they were small for dates?
everything is fine so far this time but I am so scared that I'll go to a mw app and my fundal measurments will be small,or that i'll go for my scan in 7 weeks time and they'll try and say my baby is small again!
I know I keep on banging on about this :blush:
but im just aware of the fact it can happen as it has before.


----------



## Shifter

lovedupgirl said:


> Hi girls anyone had a homebirth after being told they were small for dates?
> everything is fine so far this time but I am so scared that I'll go to a mw app and my fundal measurments will be small,or that i'll go for my scan in 7 weeks time and they'll try and say my baby is small again!
> I know I keep on banging on about this :blush:
> but im just aware of the fact it can happen as it has before.

Not personally but I'm sure you already know just how inaccurate fundal height and scans are in predicting baby size. I hope size won't be brought up, but even if it is you are perfectly entitled to say "thank you for your concern but I am having a home birth".


----------



## AmyBumble

I spoke to MW yesterday on the phone and told her me and OH decided on home birth, she was really supportive and reassured me that it wsan't too late to book it.

UNTIL I brought up my previous c-section, then it all gets to be flippin problem! I told her I felt that being in the hospital first time round probably contributed to me having the section but she got all snippy and said I'd be endangering my babys health!? 

So fed up with this, I know I can have a home birth regardless of what they 'advise' but they make you feel like you're being an evil cow. Feel fed up :(


----------



## marley2580

Write to your MW supervisor ASAP and inform them that you will be having a homebirth and that you expected to be supported in your choice. Contact AIMS for advice about your rights.


----------



## purple_socks

AmyBumble said:


> I spoke to MW yesterday on the phone and told her me and OH decided on home birth, she was really supportive and reassured me that it wsan't too late to book it.
> 
> UNTIL I brought up my previous c-section, then it all gets to be flippin problem! I told her I felt that being in the hospital first time round probably contributed to me having the section but she got all snippy and said I'd be endangering my babys health!?
> 
> So fed up with this, I know I can have a home birth regardless of what they 'advise' but they make you feel like you're being an evil cow. Feel fed up :(

i know its frustrating hun but dont let them do this to u...dont just give up on what u want coz its easier! its ur right to have a homebirth and not to have to suffer what u did last time! Endangering ur babies health? wtf? did she y she thought that? from what i've heard/ read home VBAC is perfectly safe! write to MW supervisor...theres letter templates on homebirth.org. 

good luck and keep us posted x x x :hug:


----------



## Shifter

Every woman with one previous c/s is to be treated *exactly the same* as any other woman. I can't remember if that's according AIMS, NICE or the NHS itself. Try pointing that out in your letter. I hate the NHS. I was ranting about them in my journal yesterday :hissy:


----------



## AmyBumble

Thanks very much for advice guys. I'm looking around homebirth.org to find a good template! I'm so useless at writing letters lol. I am determined on having a calm relaxed homebirth regardless of what they say now anyway.

I have actually just read on homebirth.org....




> Women who plan home births after a prior caesarean often say that they felt they would be "set up to fail" in an attempt at a hospital VBAC. Overall we know that the vast majority of women who attempt a VBAC in hospital do in fact get one - but if your first caesarean was for slow progress, then perhaps your labour is more affected by the hospital environment than others. If this is the case, it may be that labouring at home is the best 'treatment' you could have.
> 
> One authority on vaginal birth after caesarean, Gina Lowdon, points out that women whose bodies do not labour well in hospital should recognise that their body is acting in a perfectly natural way - if you are anxious, then labour is inhibited. This is a mechanism which has evolved to help mammals prolong their labours until they can find a safe place to give birth. It works only too well for some women who plan hospital births, even if they consciously believe that hospital is the best place for them.


I honestly believe that this is exactly why I didnt dilate/my contractions were inefficient in my first labour, leading to the caeserean.

I'm going to try and wangle this into my letter! Can I just quickly as a couple of questions guys? I am going to sound stupid but who is my MW supervisor? And where would they be based do you think? hospital or GP Surgery? Sorry lol I haven't heard of this person before :blush:

Also, what is AIMS? :shrug: 

Sorry to be a nag, and write such an essay for you to read through lol!
TIA girlies, and thanks for the support. I looove it here :happydance: lol.

:hug:


----------



## marley2580

https://www.aims.org.uk/
Association for improvements in maternity services. They would be able to give you contact details for the MW supervisor (or point you in the right direction). I would think though that calling the local NHS switchboard would put you in touch with the supervisor.


----------



## AmyBumble

Aaah thankyou Marley, I should have thought of that lol. I blame the hormones 


Uuuum actually guys, I cant find those templates on homebirth.org. Is it possible if somebody has them in their faves or anything you could link it up for me please? 

Sorry, I'm crap lol...
Thanks again
:hug:


----------



## marley2580

Taken from the AIMS website 


> Dear
> 
> I am expecting a baby on the ... and intend to give birth at home. I have carefully considered the risks of home birth and compared them with the risks of hospital birth and I am not prepared to risk my, or my baby's health, by being delivered in hospital.
> 
> I would be grateful if you would arrange for my care to be provided by a midwife who is experienced and confident in assisting women to birth at home.
> 
> Yours sincerely


----------



## lindypops

marley2580 said:


> Taken from the AIMS website
> 
> 
> Dear
> 
> I am expecting a baby on the ... and intend to give birth at home. I have carefully considered the risks of home birth and compared them with the risks of hospital birth and I am not prepared to risk my, or my baby's health, by being delivered in hospital.
> 
> I would be grateful if you would arrange for my care to be provided by a midwife who is experienced and confident in assisting women to birth at home.
> 
> Yours sincerelyClick to expand...

I have just written/edited this very letter yesterday - today am sending it to the Head of Midwifery at my hospital, as well as CE of the hospital trust and my MP. Here's what I wrote - do you think it is ok? I want to come across as informed and assertive, but not angry (yet!):

Dear Ms Moore,

I am expecting a baby on 3rd August 2009 and intend to give birth at home. I have carefully researched and considered the issues risks of homebirth and compared them with the issues and risks of hospital birth and have decided that only a homebirth will be able to offer me the experience I envisage for my daughters birth. 

I have decided, therefore, that I will be having a homebirth; I have discussed this extensively with my midwife and my GP at Mulbarton Surgery and have found them very supportive. 

I am, however, aware of the issues surrounding the availability of midwives at certain times. As a user of the NHS who has a legal right to plan and have a homebirth, I do not expect that this will affect my decision in any way.

Thank you for your support in this matter.

Yours sincerely,


----

Loveupgirl - the amount of times that I have read about people who were told their LO was small for dates and turned out to be at least a 7 lb-er...


----------



## AmyBumble

ooh


lindypops said:


> I am, however, aware of the issues surrounding the availability of midwives at certain times. As a user of the NHS who has a legal right to plan and have a homebirth, I do not expect that this will affect my decision in any way.
> 
> Thank you for your support in this matter.

Lindy can I pinch that bit for my letter please? Its exactly the tone I want to adopt, and I cant put it down in words at all well myself lol :blush:


:hug:


----------



## marley2580

Looks good hun.


----------



## angelae36

I've been to the consultant today for my 20 week (at 22 weeks!!) scan.
I've been told that even though he doesn't agree with me about having a home birth he isn't/can't refusing it.

The reason why he doesn't want me to have it is because of my BMI.
I probably didn't help the situation by refusing to see the anesthatist and the GTT but he was ok about it.
I didn't have to fight or argue I just stated I knew the risks and believe home is the best place for me.

They did try and tell me that having a high BMI makes it harder to monitor the baby which it probably does but it's not impossible.

So it's all systems go for a home birth and I can really start to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy now!


----------



## lovedupgirl

Lindy pops your letter comes across in exactly the right way, assertive but not hostile!
I have also stopped worrying about not being able to have my homebirth :happydance: and started to look forward to it!
I see the consultant in just over 4 weeks, not sure why as I have not been given much of a reason!I am totally prepared for them to try and talk me into hospital due to the small for dates thing twice previously, but since both times they were completely wrong I dont think they have a leg to stand on!
I will sit and listen to whatever they have to say, smile sweetly and say " thankyou for your concern but Im still having my baby at home" :rofl:
And I dont give a damn about their so called "staff shortage issues"
If I refuse to move from home there is not much they can do!


----------



## Shifter

If you haven't even been given a medical reason to see a consultant then why go? Obviously if you want to go then that's fine, but you don't have to see a consultant, you are perfectly entitled to cancel the appointment.


----------



## lindypops

Course you can, Amy - glad to be of service!

I'm a high-school English teacher, so I always overthink letters and take twice as long over them as I might otherwise...too high standards.


----------



## purple_socks

angelae36 said:


> I've been to the consultant today for my 20 week (at 22 weeks!!) scan.
> I've been told that even though he doesn't agree with me about having a home birth he isn't/can't refusing it.
> 
> The reason why he doesn't want me to have it is because of my BMI.
> I probably didn't help the situation by refusing to see the anesthatist and the GTT but he was ok about it.
> I didn't have to fight or argue I just stated I knew the risks and believe home is the best place for me.
> 
> They did try and tell me that having a high BMI makes it harder to monitor the baby which it probably does but it's not impossible.
> 
> So it's all systems go for a home birth and I can really start to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy now!

i had issues with my bmi when i told my MW abt my homebirth plans...my MW ran through a load of pos 'risks' caused by raised bmi and made it all sound really terrible. she wanted me to see the consultant but did tell me he would b v anti hb. i refused to see the consultant though and had a meeting with MW supervisor who was really supportive and said in her opinion she doesn't think theres a problem with women with high BMI having home births and she's never known of high BMI alone to cause risks...it can be linked to like gestational diabetes (sp?) or pos raised blood pressure but once things like that r ruled out (i've had a GTT and growth scans and never had high blood pressure etc) these 'risks' are all speculation! also SMW said she's had just as many problems monitoring/feeling 'normal' weight womens babies as she has larger women...she said it just varies from women to women...its not really a BMI related issue.

i found this artical quite useful https://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/lrgmoms.html


----------



## lindypops

purple_socks said:


> angelae36 said:
> 
> 
> I've been to the consultant today for my 20 week (at 22 weeks!!) scan.
> I've been told that even though he doesn't agree with me about having a home birth he isn't/can't refusing it.
> 
> The reason why he doesn't want me to have it is because of my BMI.
> I probably didn't help the situation by refusing to see the anesthatist and the GTT but he was ok about it.
> I didn't have to fight or argue I just stated I knew the risks and believe home is the best place for me.
> 
> They did try and tell me that having a high BMI makes it harder to monitor the baby which it probably does but it's not impossible.
> 
> So it's all systems go for a home birth and I can really start to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy now!
> 
> i had issues with my bmi when i told my MW abt my homebirth plans...my MW ran through a load of pos 'risks' caused by raised bmi and made it all sound really terrible. she wanted me to see the consultant but did tell me he would b v anti hb. i refused to see the consultant though and had a meeting with MW supervisor who was really supportive and said in her opinion she doesn't think theres a problem with women with high BMI having home births and she's never known of high BMI alone to cause risks...it can be linked to like gestational diabetes (sp?) or pos raised blood pressure but once things like that r ruled out (i've had a GTT and growth scans and never had high blood pressure etc) these 'risks' are all speculation! also SMW said she's had just as many problems monitoring/feeling 'normal' weight womens babies as she has larger women...she said it just varies from women to women...its not really a BMI related issue.
> 
> i found this artical quite useful https://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/lrgmoms.htmlClick to expand...

It makes me so mad when the risks are exaggerated in order for the health profession to what is best for them - not for us!


----------



## angelae36

Well having done lots of reading on high BMI and home births I was ready for all the reasons they would say that I couldn't have a homebirth.
It definately pays to know what you are talking about!

When I saw the consultant it was a joke really. Firstly I saw an SHO who although very nice seemed very new to the job.
She spouted all the text books etc and told me I was "high" risk of diabetes, big baby etc.
I pointed out I am actually "higher" risk not "high" and there is a world of difference.
After the consultation she went and got the consultant who walked in and said I'm not going to talk you out of it, but I don't agree with your decision (porbably just covering his back!) He was there for less than 1 minute. We waited over 3/4 hour to see him/her! Pointless if you ask me!!!

They definately had an attempt to scare me though!


----------



## helz81

Hi girls, Im hoping for a homebirth (if my dad stays away-long story lol) I had one with my son 6 years ago but it was totally unplanned! It all happened so fast really. I had started labour and a midwife came out to me to check me over and said to me "if you don't feel like moving,you could always stay here and have your baby" I was like ok whatever JUST GET THIS BABY OUTTA ME!!! :rofl: So she went away and came back abit later with gas an air but I don't remember her bringing a doppler or anything to monitor me or the baby with!? I thought homebirths HAD to be pre organised,and a homebirthing pack was delivered to your house a few weeks before your due date?


----------



## Shifter

Not so Helz, you can decide at ANY point where to have your baby. Most HBs are planned, but not all and some people have precipitate labours (very fast, usually traumatic) so have no choice but to just get down on all fours wherever they happen to be when labour starts. A good friend of mine on here had a history of this and was strongly advised by her MW to plan a HB for her third because of it! 

My SIL's 2nd was a planned hospital birth but her labour was intermittent and she was planning to stay home as long as possible before going in, as is usually recommended by hospitals these days. By the time she was sure it was really happening it was too late to move her. She called the hospital and they sent a MW to her.


----------



## star-dust

www.mybirth.tv

thres a few homebirth vids on here

xx


----------



## lindypops

Good on you for standing your ground, angelae!


----------



## JayleighAnn

Sorry for a rant, but the last couple days I've actually been very very pissed off at myself, and my midwife, me for not pushing more for my homebirth and her for coming up with bollocks reasons why she didnt sort it out in time.

I feel really upset now that I didn't get my homebirth, and that she left me so uninformed on who to ring when I did go into labour, I ended up letting the hospital talk me into going in to hospital to get checked to see if it was my waters that had gone, when thinking about it now, I had no reason to go to hospital and god knows why I did, I just didn't have the energy at the time to argue with them whilst breathing my way through bloody labour. 

After I had Halen my midwife at the hospital gave me my discharge notes which my community midwife took away with her when she discharged me on Tuesday last week. It had a section on the back for comments and I just never got round to writing it in about how I felt my homebirth was purposly made impossible by my midwife. She also said I could write a complaint but I can't remember who she said I should right it to??

Sorry this has got a bit long, but I now feel like I bloody well should of stood my ground and not gone to hospital and I should of written a complaint and in the comments bit, but it sounds stupid but I was afraid of offending my midwife and didn't want to have an arguement with her days after giving birth :dohh:

Does anyone know who I should write a complaint to? I was thinking the supervisor of midwifes but I don't know how to find out who this is?


----------



## Kooky

You'd be better off writing to the head of midwifery. I can't seem to find an address at the moment but for Leicester it's Jane Porter. x


----------



## JayleighAnn

Thats all I could find but wasn't sure if it would be her, I found an email address for her so will give that a shot


----------



## lindypops

JayleighAnn said:


> I had no reason to go to hospital and god knows why I did, I just didn't have the energy at the time to argue with them whilst breathing my way through bloody labour.

I think this is what many mw's/doctors rely on, tbh - whi ch is why they don't present us with the standard disclaimer until we're 37 weeks plus - because we won't have it in us to fight or object.

Sorry you're not feeling happy - definitely pass it on.

I've written my 'I'm having a homebirth' letter to the Head of Midwifery at the local hosp, plus the CE of the trust at the same hosp, plus my MP, if that helps.


----------



## JayleighAnn

lindypops said:


> I think this is what many mw's/doctors rely on, tbh - whi ch is why they don't present us with the standard disclaimer until we're 37 weeks plus - because we won't have it in us to fight or object.
> 
> Sorry you're not feeling happy - definitely pass it on.
> 
> I've written my 'I'm having a homebirth' letter to the Head of Midwifery at the local hosp, plus the CE of the trust at the same hosp, plus my MP, if that helps.


It's not on is it, why they feel it ok to stress out heavily pregnant women I don't know

I will pass it on once I've eaten my dinner.


----------



## marley2580

I would suggest getting in touch with AIMS as they should be able to help you draft your complaint and tell you who to send it to.


----------



## JayleighAnn

marley2580 said:


> I would suggest getting in touch with AIMS as they should be able to help you draft your complaint and tell you who to send it to.

Thank you I will do, I was wondering if it was the sort of thing to contact them about or if their more for if ur having problems sorting out your homebirth?


----------



## marley2580

As far as I know they are there to help with any issues you have regarding maternity services in the UK.


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## JayleighAnn

Ok I've emailed them, will await their reply!


----------



## purple_socks

i was gonna say contact AIMs...i dont know for sure but thats where i'd start. i'm sure they can help in some way. good luck hun. keep us posted on any outcome xx


----------



## Shifter

:hugs: JayleighAnn. I hope you get a response from AIMS quickly and that you are able to get some closure on your experience.


----------



## purple_socks

pos a slightly random question but anyone planning on using or have previously used a birthing stool 4 a homebirth? i just read a post abt them and it made me wonder if we can have them at homebirths?


----------



## AmyBumble

WooHoo! :happydance:

So, today, A supervisor Midwife came to my house to have a 'chat' to me and OH regarding our decision to have a homebirth. We were a bit worried about this visit as a midwife had come and seen us on Saturday to tell us all the risks etc and we didnt understand why the supervisor was coming round so soon too. We thought we'd have a struggle on our hands. The MW who came on Saturday wasnt exactly anti-homebirth but she DID make us feel like we were endangering the baby unnecessarily and selfishly. Which is ridiculous I know but... 


Anyway, The supervisor MW (Jenny) turned up, we had a lovely little chinwag with her and she was so nice! She said she's completely pro Homebirth, even though Ive had a previous section, and she didnt understand the hype surrounding these 'dangers!' She said the calmest and therefore, USUALLY safest environment to labour in, is your own home where you are comfortable. I couldnt believe it. I was so up for a fight too lol and she blew me away with how supportive and lovely she was. I am hoping to god that she's on call when I go into labour :rofl:

Jus thought I'd share this girls, I'm so happy right now I want to jump for joy, all through this pregnancy me and OH have had such problems with things and been going through a lot and now things seem to be on the up for us. YAY!! :happydance:

:hug:


----------



## purple_socks

yay for u amybumble...really pleased 4 u! x


----------



## marley2580

That's great news.


----------



## lindypops

marley2580 said:


> I would suggest getting in touch with AIMS as they should be able to help you draft your complaint and tell you who to send it to.

The letter I posted on here the other day was adapted from the AIMS website form letter.


----------



## lindypops

That is great, Amybumble - I've got an appointment tomorrow and then a mw home visit next week, where I'm preparing for a similar conversation.

Did they ask you to sign a disclaimer?


----------



## Shifter

That's great Amy :happydance:


----------



## Rebaby

That's great news amy :thumbup:

Yesterday OH and i were talking about where we could put the birthing pool on the big day and we're a bit stuck :dohh: I initially thought in the bedroom as it would be easier then to keep the pets downstairs out of the way, plus if i wanted to get out- the bed and the bathroom are both right there BUT then i started to wonder if the midwives would be comfortable having me labour/deliver on the ground floor in case i needed to transfer to hospital for some reason?

Because in that case the birthing pool would fit better downstairs except it's entirely open plan so we'd have a dog and a cat roaming around too :rofl:

I know it's a long way off yet, and i can't even remember why the topic came up but i was just wondering where in the house everyone else is planning to give birth?! Or are you just going to see how it goes on the day?


----------



## purple_socks

we planned on using our living room but the supervisor MW woman that came round said they really need to get all the ay round the pool and its quite heavy when full so is safer on the ground floor...we opted for our dinning room which is open plan to our kitchen but i've make a curtain to block it off. our cats r really scared of the pool so i'm sure they won't b bothering me...do u have neighbours or someone that will have ur dog for a bit of ur concerned?


----------



## JayleighAnn

Beverley Beech from AIMS replied today and advised that if I wish to make a complaint, it should really be to the hospital for making me feel like I needed to go in and be checked out when really they should of sent a midwife to me (I really didn't think of this at the time when they told me to)

I'm not sure how I feel about this, as the midwife at the hospital was prepared to send me home until she did an internal and told me I was too far dilated to make it home in time and she seemed genuinely upset for me that I didn't get my homebirth?


----------



## Rachiebaby24

Hi Everyone, I really cant read through 37 pages and just want to know if anyone elses partner is/was against a home birth? 

I really want one for our next baby and my OH is against it as he is worried in case anything goes wrong even though i had a straightforward 4 hour labour with our daughter. 

How did you get round it?? thanksx


----------



## lindypops

JayleighAnn said:


> Beverley Beech from AIMS replied today and advised that if I wish to make a complaint, it should really be to the hospital for making me feel like I needed to go in and be checked out when really they should of sent a midwife to me (I really didn't think of this at the time when they told me to)
> 
> I'm not sure how I feel about this, as the midwife at the hospital was prepared to send me home until she did an internal and told me I was too far dilated to make it home in time and she seemed genuinely upset for me that I didn't get my homebirth?

But it's not the mw you have a problem with - it's the hosp's policy of asking you to come in. So if she's upset, it doesn't mean you should feel bad.


----------



## lindypops

Rachiebaby24 said:


> Hi Everyone, I really cant read through 37 pages and just want to know if anyone elses partner is/was against a home birth?
> 
> I really want one for our next baby and my OH is against it as he is worried in case anything goes wrong even though i had a straightforward 4 hour labour with our daughter.
> 
> How did you get round it?? thanksx

My DH was initially not at all sure when I said I wanted a homebirth. His reaction (like most people's) was that hospitals must be safer.

I told him my reasons: having had bad experiences in hospsitals before (which he kind of knew about), wanting a birth pool, feeling more relaxed etc.

Then I showed him some of the research and stats (AIMS website, homebirth.org.uk, NICE) and he was much more convinced. Now he is fully on board.

FOr a low-risk pg, homebirths are just as safe and will almost certainly require less intervention, which means a better chance of bonding and establishing BF (if that's your plan) and a much lower risk of PND.

Hope he comes round.


----------



## star-dust

Rachiebaby24 said:


> Hi Everyone, I really cant read through 37 pages and just want to know if anyone elses partner is/was against a home birth?
> 
> I really want one for our next baby and my OH is against it as he is worried in case anything goes wrong even though i had a straightforward 4 hour labour with our daughter.
> 
> How did you get round it?? thanksx

my hubby at first was very anti home, even though he knew it wouldnt change my mind what he thought, as my last birth was short and sweet, Im not wantin to be laid up in a hospital! 
Hes come round to the idea now though, finally seen sense in the situation
I showed him this website which was reccommended to me earlier on in this thread and that helped a lot, he then went on to do his own research and is now fine with a hb

https://www.homebirth.org.uk/blokes.htm


----------



## purple_socks

totally pointless post but its my due date 2day! woo...altho no sign of LO arriving any time soon. saw MW 2day and she's booked me 4 a sweep next tue...i'd really rather not have people 'fiddling abt up there' so i hope he gets a move on and comes out b4 then x


----------



## star-dust

oo happy due date, hope he shows up soon for you!! x


----------



## Shifter

PS - you can just decline the appointment hun. I was offered a sweep at 41 weeks and I just said no thanks. Won't be long now though hun :happydance:

Rachiebaby - my DH was totally on board from the start, but my mum had some concerns. I took her with me to see my MW, who was a star, and she was able to ask lots of questions and clear up her concerns. From then on she was just really excited for us!


----------



## lindypops

Yay Purple Socks!

I was going to say the same - you don't have to be induced - if you are given a sweep and it doesn't start things off, you might be on a slippery slope to other, more intrusive forms of induction, which would prevent you having a shot at homebirth.

I hope things get moving!


----------



## AmyBumble

lindypops said:

> Did they ask you to sign a disclaimer?




Rebaby said:

> I know it's a long way off yet, and i can't even remember why the topic came up but i was just wondering where in the house everyone else is planning to give birth?! Or are you just going to see how it goes on the day?


No, no disclaimer to sign, just a 'Homebirth Checklist' which covered if the house had all amenities/is difficult or easy to find etc etc...

And we're planning to have the LO in the living room. They recommend you labour on the ground floor just in case you have to be transferred to hospital. It would be more difficult to get you down a flight of stairs lol. Not sure where yet, we can't afford to hire a pool or buy one so the birth will probably be on the sofa or floor lol!


----------



## marley2580

Last time I laboured upstairs as that was just where I ended up, no one said anything. I was transferred and got down the stairs with the help of my OH and the MW. This time I'm planning on birthing in the living room, but that's because Kaya will be in bed (hopefully) and the pool will only fit downstairs


----------



## JayleighAnn

lindypops said:


> JayleighAnn said:
> 
> 
> Beverley Beech from AIMS replied today and advised that if I wish to make a complaint, it should really be to the hospital for making me feel like I needed to go in and be checked out when really they should of sent a midwife to me (I really didn't think of this at the time when they told me to)
> 
> I'm not sure how I feel about this, as the midwife at the hospital was prepared to send me home until she did an internal and told me I was too far dilated to make it home in time and she seemed genuinely upset for me that I didn't get my homebirth?
> 
> But it's not the mw you have a problem with - it's the hosp's policy of asking you to come in. So if she's upset, it doesn't mean you should feel bad.Click to expand...

Yeah true, I just don't want it to seem like I'm complaining about the midwife at the hospital when it's not her I want to complain about iygwim

But I also feel like my own community midwife deliberitly (sp?) left my risk assessment so late and purposly wouldnt talk to me about nor sort anything out about my homebirth but yet Beverley said not to complain about her?


----------



## Shifter

JayleighAnn said:


> lindypops said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> JayleighAnn said:
> 
> 
> Beverley Beech from AIMS replied today and advised that if I wish to make a complaint, it should really be to the hospital for making me feel like I needed to go in and be checked out when really they should of sent a midwife to me (I really didn't think of this at the time when they told me to)
> 
> I'm not sure how I feel about this, as the midwife at the hospital was prepared to send me home until she did an internal and told me I was too far dilated to make it home in time and she seemed genuinely upset for me that I didn't get my homebirth?
> 
> But it's not the mw you have a problem with - it's the hosp's policy of asking you to come in. So if she's upset, it doesn't mean you should feel bad.Click to expand...
> 
> Yeah true, I just don't want it to seem like I'm complaining about the midwife at the hospital when it's not her I want to complain about iygwim
> 
> But I also feel like my own community midwife deliberitly (sp?) left my risk assessment so late and purposly wouldnt talk to me about nor sort anything out about my homebirth but yet Beverley said not to complain about her?Click to expand...

Hmm, I would write a single letter complaining about your CMW who messed you about and the person at the hospital who coerced you into the maternity unit unnecessarily. It doesn't matter that you don't know who you spoke to as it was probably typical of most of the staff there, not just the one person you spoke to. These two people both played an equal part in sabotaging your HB hun so they need to be called up on it. Sounds like your NHS Trust needs a wrist slapping. :hugs:


----------



## JayleighAnn

Shifter said:


> JayleighAnn said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lindypops said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> JayleighAnn said:
> 
> 
> Beverley Beech from AIMS replied today and advised that if I wish to make a complaint, it should really be to the hospital for making me feel like I needed to go in and be checked out when really they should of sent a midwife to me (I really didn't think of this at the time when they told me to)
> 
> I'm not sure how I feel about this, as the midwife at the hospital was prepared to send me home until she did an internal and told me I was too far dilated to make it home in time and she seemed genuinely upset for me that I didn't get my homebirth?
> 
> But it's not the mw you have a problem with - it's the hosp's policy of asking you to come in. So if she's upset, it doesn't mean you should feel bad.Click to expand...
> 
> Yeah true, I just don't want it to seem like I'm complaining about the midwife at the hospital when it's not her I want to complain about iygwim
> 
> But I also feel like my own community midwife deliberitly (sp?) left my risk assessment so late and purposly wouldnt talk to me about nor sort anything out about my homebirth but yet Beverley said not to complain about her?Click to expand...
> 
> Hmm, I would write a single letter complaining about your CMW who messed you about and the person at the hospital who coerced you into the maternity unit unnecessarily. It doesn't matter that you don't know who you spoke to as it was probably typical of most of the staff there, not just the one person you spoke to. These two people both played an equal part in sabotaging your HB hun so they need to be called up on it. Sounds like your NHS Trust needs a wrist slapping. :hugs:Click to expand...

No I don't know who I spoke to when I rang up, but I'm guessing it should say on my notes? 

I'll write a letter to the head of midwifery as she's in charge of all of them isn't she?


----------



## Shifter

That's right, the HOM is the person to address it to. Good luck hun. I know it's too late to make things right for you this time, but hopefully it will encourage them to examine their practices so that other women don't have the same treatment and you get a better ride of it next time!


----------



## JayleighAnn

Shifter said:


> That's right, the HOM is the person to address it to. Good luck hun. I know it's too late to make things right for you this time, but hopefully it will encourage them to examine their practices so that other women don't have the same treatment and you get a better ride of it next time!

I hope so! If I could afford it I'd get an independant midwife just to avoid my local nhs trust lol


----------



## AmyBumble

JayleighAnn said:


> I hope so! If I could afford it I'd get an independant midwife just to avoid my local nhs trust lol

Oh god me too DEFFO lol. xx :hug:


----------



## lindypops

So I had my 36 week appointment yest and everything went really well - all the conditions are right for my homebirth.

The mw gave me all the warning etc of there poss not being enough mw's on shift when I call - I told her I would stand my ground and have written my letters and she beamed and said 'don't say I said this, but I'm really pleased, that's exactly what more people should do'.

She went through the checklist and is coming round next Weds for a home visit, though if I go into labour before that (from Monday onwards - 37 weeks) I can still have the homebirth.

Only thing is, I now have been cramping on and off since tea time. Had a HUGE plate of takeaway fish and chips, which prob didn't help - but now I'm freaking out! I CAN'T go into labour before Monday.

I don't want a hospital birth, plus hubby is away Sat night (his last chance!) to go to see Oasis at Wembley, and I still have marking to do for two of my classes!

I know how silly that sounds - LO will come when she comes, but after all this planning and asserting myself for the eact birth I want, I will be pretty upset if it all goes wrong.

But is this cramping anything to do with labour? No tightening, so I don't think it's BH's - and no particular pattern, from what I can tell - just on/off pains. :(


----------



## purple_socks

don't panic lindypops...it could b nothing. i've had period type cramps almost constantly and lots of tightening for the last week or so but nothings happened 4 me yet so i'm guessing its pretty normal during the build up to actual labour. fingers crossed urs is just BH xx


----------



## lindypops

Thanks, socks.

I just feel so out of control - which is what I hate and the main reason why I don't want to go to hospital!


----------



## muminlove

I started reading all the posts in this thread and then realised how many there were!!! lol
Just wanted to say - and it may have already been answered a million times but anyway!
I had a homebirth, which was a water birth (and we were renting) the birthing pool was one our private midwife provided and was HUGE and we set it up in the lounge room, right next to it we had a mattress on the floor which we covered with plastic sheeting and then we brought some cheap sheets and towels so we wouldn't have to think about our good ones getting ruined. It was next to the couch and when i wasn't in the pool or walking around i was mostly kneeling on the mattress leaning on the couch. 
We had such a wonderful experience being at home, it was so nice to be in my own space, with people I completely trusted (Partner, Midwife, my mum and his mum) With everyone knowing exactly what we wanted and completely supporting us. And to be able to go to sleep with my beautiful new bundle in my own bed afterwards! Home births won't be possible in Australia after july next year and I am considering having our next baby overseas rather than go to hospital. We also had a lotus birth and I was worried that if we did have to go to hospital, which we had made preparations for including birth plans, that they would not respect out decision to do that.
Our son was born 11days overdue and after a 23hour labor, posterior and 12pound 6ounces. We had no pain relief other than the water, and we couldn't have been happier or had things go any more to plan. Except maybe a sleep in the middle of the labor would have been great? lol
Annnnnyway! Can't recommend it enough!
Good luck with whatever you choose!!!


----------



## marley2580

muminlove said:


> Home births won't be possible in Australia after july next year and I am considering having our next baby overseas rather than go to hospital.

I heard about this, it's shocking. Governments seem to be cracking down on anyone that dares to question the norm - home educators are getting it in Sweden and England atm.


----------



## muminlove

The scare campaign that they timed the announcement with was also backward, news suddenly picking up on all these horror stories - and not a one of them was midwife assisted, all unplanned or freebirths.
And at the same time going on about the other part of the same legislation which "gives women more power in hospital" WHATEVER!


----------



## Shifter

lindypops - the cramps are probably just your body getting ready, it's a good sign and usually means a shorter, easier labour when it happens! I was worried of going into labour between 36 and 37 weeks by scan date, my dates were perfectly sound and a week ahead, so I considered myself 37 weeks when the MW considered me 36. But ultimately, if you want to stay home before 37 weeks then you can, don't fall for "You have to come in" because that's not true, they still have to send someone out to you. But hopefully you will hold on a couple more days and not have to deal with that possibility!

It makes me so mad, what's happening in Australia. I wish someone could talk some sense into these people!

Marley - I heard about home educators having to register in the future. We'll be home educating Jack (and any siblings) so I'm a bit concerned about this. Do you know anything else about it? Is it still just a proposal or has it been passed?


----------



## marley2580

Shifter said:


> Marley - I heard about home educators having to register in the future. We'll be home educating Jack (and any siblings) so I'm a bit concerned about this. Do you know anything else about it? Is it still just a proposal or has it been passed?

It's still at the report stage, It's called the Badman Report. I don't know a lot because it won't apply in Scotland but have a look on the education otherwise website, they might have more info. https://www.educationotherwise.org.uk/


----------



## star-dust

> I rang the hospital they asked me to come in, I said I;m ahving a home birth, they said you're meant to be having a hospital birth, I said I've changed my mind, they said you're not booked for a home birth, I said I am now, they said You need to be low risk for home birth, I said Please send a midwife, they said come to hospital , I said P**s off and hung up

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Just got this on homebirth group come through!!


----------



## purple_socks

star-dust said:


> I rang the hospital they asked me to come in, I said I;m ahving a home birth, they said you're meant to be having a hospital birth, I said I've changed my mind, they said you're not booked for a home birth, I said I am now, they said You need to be low risk for home birth, I said Please send a midwife, they said come to hospital , I said P**s off and hung up
> 
> :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
> 
> Just got this on homebirth group come through!!Click to expand...

:rofl::rofl::rofl: how funny! did a MW turn up?


----------



## Shifter

purple_socks said:


> star-dust said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I rang the hospital they asked me to come in, I said I;m ahving a home birth, they said you're meant to be having a hospital birth, I said I've changed my mind, they said you're not booked for a home birth, I said I am now, they said You need to be low risk for home birth, I said Please send a midwife, they said come to hospital , I said P**s off and hung up
> 
> :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
> 
> Just got this on homebirth group come through!!Click to expand...
> 
> :rofl::rofl::rofl: how funny! did a MW turn up?Click to expand...

Yeah and was quite good apparently :thumbup:


----------



## star-dust

Shifter said:


> Yeah and was quite good apparently :thumbup:

do you know the full story as I dont! just the clipit i posted!


----------



## Shifter

star-dust said:


> Shifter said:
> 
> 
> Yeah and was quite good apparently :thumbup:
> 
> do you know the full story as I dont! just the clipit i posted!Click to expand...

Yeah. She was meant to be labouring at home and going in to hospital later, like most women do. She had someone with her, not sure if she was a friend, relative or professional reflexologist, but she was helping her through it and doing reflexology on her. She decided she didn't want to go in to hospital after all, this lady agreed to stay and support her, so she rang labour ward... as per your quote above! 

Then she changed her mind and started to feel she couldn't cope, which her and the reflexologist recognised as transition! They called the hospital again and soon after the MW arrived. It wasn't transition as she was only 5cm at that point but she soon felt ready to push. She worried about telling anyone as she didn't want another VE. This is the last paragraph of the birth story, it's so sweet!



> Then i said when i feel like i need to push do you need to examine me again, well really but if you'd prefer not was the answer, why? do you want to, do you feel like pushing now? No- don't be silly, of course not i said, then said yes and started crying again. They comforted me and i started pushing and my baby was born in no time, with not even the slightest graze


----------



## Rebaby

Shifter said:


> star-dust said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Shifter said:
> 
> 
> Yeah and was quite good apparently :thumbup:
> 
> do you know the full story as I dont! just the clipit i posted!Click to expand...
> 
> Yeah. She was meant to be labouring at home and going in to hospital later, like most women do. She had someone with her, not sure if she was a friend, relative or professional reflexologist, but she was helping her through it and doing reflexology on her. She decided she didn't want to go in to hospital after all, this lady agreed to stay and support her, so she rang labour ward... as per your quote above!
> 
> Then she changed her mind and started to feel she couldn't cope, which her and the reflexologist recognised as transition! They called the hospital again and soon after the MW arrived. It wasn't transition as she was only 5cm at that point but she soon felt ready to push. She worried about telling anyone as she didn't want another VE. This is the last paragraph of the birth story, it's so sweet!
> 
> 
> 
> Then i said when i feel like i need to push do you need to examine me again, well really but if you'd prefer not was the answer, why? do you want to, do you feel like pushing now? No- don't be silly, of course not i said, then said yes and started crying again. They comforted me and i started pushing and my baby was born in no time, with not even the slightest grazeClick to expand...Click to expand...

Aww that's fantastic!

Well as you all know we just moved and i have just met one of the community midwives in our new area and she seemed really nice. It was a bit bizarre having (another) booking-in appointment at 21+1! :dohh: but she was really thorough and i have the thumbs-up from her for a home birth.

She has put in my notes "Planning for a home birth if all continues to go well" and she's written it in quite a few places too and gave me a leaflet about homebirth. Doesn't tell me anything i don't already know, but at least i feel supported in my choice from the offset. So fingers crossed i won't need to prepare for battle after all! :happydance:


----------



## Shifter

That's great rebaby!

I had 4 booking in appointments lol! One when I was 6 weeks ish, another with my CMW when I moved at 22 weeks, and with my chose hospital a few weeks later, then another one when I switched to HB! 

My chosen hospital after we moved was quite a distance away, I picked it because it had a better record in terms of c-sections, intervention and maternity care generally than the nearer hospitals. But when I booked my HB I had to be registered with the nearest hospital that the CMWs were attached to, fairy snuff really. Could have saved myself a lot of hassle if I had just decided on the HB as soon as we moved lol!


----------



## Rebaby

Aww i bet you were totally sick of answering questions about your family medical history after four!! :rofl:

I have had to 'book in' at my local hospital too, so to speak, that's where all my bloods etc will be sent and where i'll deliver if for some reason the homebirth doesn't work out, but fingers crossed it won't come to that!

I am going to take them up on the offer of the 'hospital tour' though, as even though i have actually worked on the maternity wards at my local hospital in the past, they have a brand new shiny build which they're moving to next week so if i do end up needing to go to hospital i won't have a clue! But all my antenatal appointments from now on will be at my GP surgery, which is fab is it's just a 5 minute walk away (or a fifteen minute waddle when it gets to that stage!) :rofl:


----------



## Shifter

Funnily enough it was the hospital tour that made me change my mind! The hospital's figures were very encouraging but the facilities made me seriously doubt my personal ability to have a gentle, natural birth there. The rooms were too small and packed full of scary machines,which didn't really facilitate active birthing and the lighting etc made it seem difficult to have a relaxing atmosphere, never mind the machines. Someone on the tour asked if the rooms could be cleared of some of this stuff and they said no. At my local hospital however, when I transferred in, the first thing they did was move out the unnecessary clutter and get me a bean bag to sit on!


----------



## lindypops

Shifter said:


> Funnily enough it was the hospital tour that made me change my mind! The hospital's figures were very encouraging but the facilities made me seriously doubt my personal ability to have a gentle, natural birth there. The rooms were too small and packed full of scary machines,which didn't really facilitate active birthing and the lighting etc made it seem difficult to have a relaxing atmosphere, never mind the machines. Someone on the tour asked if the rooms could be cleared of some of this stuff and they said no. At my local hospital however, when I transferred in, the first thing they did was move out the unnecessary clutter and get me a bean bag to sit on!

WHen the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital was rebuilt a few years ago they made the delivery suite smaller and as a result they don't offer tours to anyone ever, as it's usually too busy - how reassurring!


----------



## Rebaby

lindypops said:


> WHen the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital was rebuilt a few years ago they made the delivery suite smaller and as a result they don't offer tours to anyone ever, as it's usually too busy - how reassurring!

Wow, what a great way to put you off! :dohh:


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## purple_socks

i had a similar thing make me want a hb...i was gonna go with a mw led unit until the tour...it was nice and 'homely' and all that but there was something i found really unsettling. i think it was the hospitally smell and the equiptment in the room and loud staff walking in and out of rooms without knocking- it was really just a hospital ward with nicer curtains and duvet covers!


----------



## lindypops

Rebaby said:


> lindypops said:
> 
> 
> WHen the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital was rebuilt a few years ago they made the delivery suite smaller and as a result they don't offer tours to anyone ever, as it's usually too busy - how reassurring!
> 
> Wow, what a great way to put you off! :dohh:Click to expand...

I know - not only can you not see the place where they think you should give birth, but also you get the impression that you may well have to go to King's Lynn or Great Yarmouth to give birth!!!

Tried out the pool last night: here are some pics! I stayed in it for about half and hour, drinking tea and relaxing. It was really funny - DH was chatting to me like nothing out of the ordinary was happening!
 



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## star-dust

haha love the pics lindypops!!!


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## Rebaby

Looking very relaxed there lindypops! :thumbup:

After the home visit from the midwife yesterday and the way both the dog and the cat behaved while she was here (the dog trying to eat the BP cuff while she took my blood pressure and the cat darting around and knocking her papers flying etc etc :dohh: ) I have been giving some more thought to what the heck we'll do with them when it comes to the birth!

I know it was suggested maybe i could ask a neighbour or someone to take the dog in while i am in labour but we only just moved here and although the neighbour to one side seems nice, we haven't met the other side yet (in fact i'm not convinced anyone actually lives there as we never see anyone!!) And i guess even by november i don't think we'll know them well enough to ask that of them, particularly since i could be giving birth any time of day or night. All our family and close friends are miles away and i'd feel bad about shipping fudge (the dog) off out of the way for a few days :(

However i think i may have come up with a solution so thought i'd sound it out with you all...the cat isn't a problem since he spends most of his days asleep on the bed i figure if he starts being a bit batty we can shut him in the spare room for a few hours with his litter tray and food bowl. The dog is obviously a bigger problem because of our open plan house :dohh: but we do have a dog crate which we used for training him when he was younger and which he sleeps in when we stay over at OH's Dad's house (as they have a lot of other dogs, so it gives him some space where he can't be hassled and prevents him clambering on their leather sofas when we're all in bed :rofl: ) so i was thinking that if he is getting to be a nuisance trying to climb in the birth pool etc we could have him in his crate.

I don't know if that's a little mean though?! I mean i could be in labour for hours!!!!! But obviously OH could let him out in the yard for breaks and he could stretch his legs and have a wee and then be put back in if needs be...what do you think?


----------



## lindypops

My parents' (admittedly fairly young and small) dog still sleeps in her cage most nights - it started off as protection from an old and crabby Jack Russell when still a puppy but she seems to be happy in there and goes in there of her own accord.

I think it sounds like a good idea - it's not forever and your OH will easily be able to monitor/give breaks and attention, but on your terms, which will probably be safer for you all - dog included.


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## Shifter

Great pics lindypops! Enjoy as many practice runs as you can :winkwink:

Rebaby - sounds like a good plan and will ensure the dog gets more attention that he would if you were going in to hospital!


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## Rebaby

Shifter said:


> Rebaby - sounds like a good plan and will ensure the dog gets more attention that he would if you were going in to hospital!

Wow, i never thought of it from that perspective before, of course if i was going to hospital he'd be home alone anyway :cry: So i'm not feeling so bad about the dog crate idea afterall!

Thanks, both of you.


----------



## purple_socks

rebaby: i think it sounds like a good plan. like u said ur OH will b able to let the dog out and pay him attention here and there while ur in labour. i think it all sounds far nicer than leaving them for hours (maybe even days) without attention if u went to hospital! x


----------



## muminlove

Love the pics!:rofl:

For the last 8 hours of my labour the neighbours dogs were going BESERK.
So that might be the only issue with the crate? Barking and howling and the such? Mind you, I wasnt particularly quiet either so that may have had something to do with it?:blush:


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## lindypops

It was really funny sitting in the pool - I got in and DH passed me my cuppa and we watched TV for a bit, like it was nothing out of the ordinary!


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## muminlove

Pregnancy does strange strange things to your sense of normal indeed!


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## lovedupgirl

Where is everybody?This thread has not been updated for like 3 whole days!!!!:rofl:

How is everyone getting on?

Purplesocks: any thing happening yet?


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## lindypops

I was thinking the same!

MW came today for a home visit. We did some paperwork; she told me that, bearing in mind the conversations we have had about staffing issues, I should decline to sign the 'you may not get a mw' disclaimer.

All is well with LO and I am just waiting now. Can't wait - I'm so excited!

How is everyone else?

Socks posted somewhere else, lovedupgirl, about things not having started at all yet and her mw saying it'll be 'some time' - not sure exactly what that means, though.

How are you?


----------



## lovedupgirl

Im good thanks!

8 weeks left and its starting to really drag on and on!

You did the right thing not signing the disclaimer, as far as I know they are not legally binding even if you do sign them as a health professional cannot legally hand all responsiblity for the baby's wellbeing over to you, as for the staff shortages, is that our problem!NO!
They have reserve midwifes anyway but they fail to inform us of that bit of info!

You must be so excited now hun, cant wait to read your amazing homebirth story and see pictures of your little one!


----------



## MsEmski

Hullo all!

I thought I'd tentatively drop in as I really want a home birth- judging from the replies on this thread for the same reasons as everyone else. Would feel more comfortable, think the pain would be more manageable at home, dislike how sanitary hospitals actually are. Plus I really don't think that the hospital actually *do* water births, despite saying that they do.

Any advice for someone just starting out to plan it?


----------



## purple_socks

Hello everyone...i'm still here! MW came to do a sweep yesterday but couldn't coz apparently my cervix is still loong thick and tightly closed. She said i'll have a long wait based on my cervix :-(

She told me hospital will call 2 book my induction at +10 days (she didn't ask if i actually want an induction- which i don't! i'll b opting 4 monitoring unless theres some sort of problem) he'll appear when he's ready and on the brightside...each day overdue is one day closer to the big day!!

Am really jealous of my fellow NCT antenatal group gang coz they've all had their babies now...the last one just announced it on facebook so its just me left!

Hows everyone else doing?


----------



## 2bananas

I'd love to have a home birth but im too scared I think. Its my second pregancy, everything was perfect with the first pregnancy so no real reason to worry but I am 3 stone heavier now that when I had my DD and im worried im going to end up with complications because of my weight so I think i'm going to stick with hospital. I am trying to lose weight just now so we'll see, I have the midwife tomorrow so I guess I'll see what she says. I had a relatively good experience in hospital so im not worried about going in again but It would be nice to stay home.


----------



## purple_socks

2bananas...check out homebirth.org. theres a section abt y u might b told not to have a homebirth and within that is a bit abt being over weight. i am over weight (i was b4 i got pregnant and have now put on even more weight!) and i still intend to have a homebirth. i've not had any probs with blood pressure, haven't got gestational diabeties, have had growth scans and LO is all fine etc. Weight alone is not a reason to suspect problems/ not have a homebirth. Theres a link to an artical on homebirth.org called 'is weight a contraction to homebirth'. its great, writen by a MW and really interesting.


----------



## 2bananas

purple_socks said:


> 2bananas...check out homebirth.org. theres a section abt y u might b told not to have a homebirth and within that is a bit abt being over weight. i am over weight (i was b4 i got pregnant and have now put on even more weight!) and i still intend to have a homebirth. i've not had any probs with blood pressure, haven't got gestational diabeties, have had growth scans and LO is all fine etc. Weight alone is not a reason to suspect problems/ not have a homebirth. Theres a link to an artical on homebirth.org called 'is weight a contraction to homebirth'. its great, writen by a MW and really interesting.

im just going to have a look at that now - thanks!


----------



## Shifter

MsEmski - if you haven't already, check out homebirth.org and join the yahoo home birth group for loads of support and advice. The main thing I would say for you is get an idea ASAP of how receptive your NHS trust is to HBs. If they are one of the good ones (like mine) then you will have 100% support and encouragement but unfortunately these trusts are scarce and you are more likely to encounter an obstructive MW who will dodge any kind of commitment to your birth choices and fob you off with excuses. You get around this with a stern letter to the Head of Midwifery (HOM) demanding confident, competent care and you will get it. It's best to find out now what kind of trust you have.

Purple Socks - just relax and enjoy the last few days hun :) I did just want to say though that I believe the reason Jack stuck around until 42+1 is the malpositioning of his head. Now, some women do just naturally carry for longer than others, but it can't hurt to try all the tricks in the book for making sure your LO is in a good position, so as to avoid complications during labour. I wish now I'd been scrubbing the kitchen floor rather than putting my feet up! :hug:


----------



## purple_socks

Shifter said:


> Purple Socks - just relax and enjoy the last few days hun :) I did just want to say though that I believe the reason Jack stuck around until 42+1 is the malpositioning of his head. Now, some women do just naturally carry for longer than others, but it can't hurt to try all the tricks in the book for making sure your LO is in a good position, so as to avoid complications during labour. I wish now I'd been scrubbing the kitchen floor rather than putting my feet up! :hug:

i was looking at spinning babies last night coz i wondered if it might b something like that. I can feel that he's laying with his back on my right side and his feet on my left...sometimes he swaps for a few hours tho. i wonder if he's struggling to tuck his chin in and drop down properly coz i was fully engaged at 37 weeks then after yesterdays appointment he appeared to have moved back up. trouble is i've got quite bad spd which means i struggle with most movement... getting on all fours is really hard (and getting back up even harder!) i've been bouncing on my ball tho and doing strange stretch things on the stairs! i can't seem to help rolling onto my right side when i'm sleeping tho...:dohh:


----------



## Shifter

:hugs: Do what you can, hopefully everything is fine and he is in the optimum position for your pelvis.


----------



## marley2580

:happydance:My placenta has moved:happydance:

But I've got glucose in my urine and have to have a glucose tolerance test on monday :dohh:

You should have seen the shock on the MWs and doctors at the hospital when they found out that I was planning an HBAC and that my CMWs were supporting me! I swear the consultant looked at me as if I was choosing to either die or kill my baby - and this was after telling me my risks of rupture were 1:150 (0.5%) and that the risk of my baby coming to harm as a result of a rupture was 1:2000! Needless to say I don't plan on seeing the consultant again unless I really need to.


----------



## Shifter

Silly doctors :doh:


----------



## lovedupgirl

Well ladies!

I went for my MW app today and my blood results were back,my iron levels are 10.4 so ive been prescribed liquid iron as I cant take the tablets.
My MW said that if my levels stay low I wont be able to have my HB:growlmad:

Im also not feeling too good,sore throat, coughing and sneezing my MW is worried it might be swine flu and has said that if my temp goes up I have got to phone the doctors for a diagnosis!


----------



## Rebaby

lovedupgirl said:


> Well ladies!
> 
> I went for my MW app today and my blood results were back,my iron levels are 10.4 so ive been prescribed liquid iron as I cant take the tablets.
> My MW said that if my levels stay low I wont be able to have my HB:growlmad:
> 
> Im also not feeling too good,sore throat, coughing and sneezing my MW is worried it might be swine flu and has said that if my temp goes up I have got to phone the doctors for a diagnosis!

Oh no! I really hope you're feeling better soon :hugs: Hopefully you're just a little run down rather than have swine flu. Fingers crossed the iron works!


----------



## lovedupgirl

Thanks hun

I think I may have flu though my nose wont stop running and Ive been sneezing all day:cry:
Just hope its regular flu as I have enough to deal with at the moment


----------



## Shifter

:hugs: DH has a bad cold atm, there's a lot of it about.

Try spatone for your iron levels hun, and lots of iron rich foods.


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## lindypops

Yeah, I hope you're feeling ok, hun. :hugs:


----------



## lindypops

MsEmski said:


> Hullo all!
> 
> I thought I'd tentatively drop in as I really want a home birth- judging from the replies on this thread for the same reasons as everyone else. Would feel more comfortable, think the pain would be more manageable at home, dislike how sanitary hospitals actually are. Plus I really don't think that the hospital actually *do* water births, despite saying that they do.
> 
> Any advice for someone just starting out to plan it?

You've been given good advice already, I would definitely start looking into what you would like now, and definitely mention it to your MW next time you see her, so that she can record it in your notes and you can guage her reaction (not that it will make any difference!).

Some parts of the country have NCT homebirth meeting groups, google it to see if you do. I found it really helpful to go to one, as I've found out lots of issues surrounding getting mw's and have even borrowed a birthing pool for nothing out of it!

I hope you get the birth you want!


----------



## purple_socks

just thought i'd keep everyone updated...not sure if this is the start of something but heres a thread i just posted: https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnan...everyones-thoughts-labor-not.html#post2621635


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## lindypops

Ooh - sounds like waters! how exciting! 

Have you had any contractions yet?

Fingers crossed for you - can't wait to hear your lovely hb story xxx


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## Shifter

Just posted on your thread. Good luck hun!


----------



## Rebaby

Oooh sounds like waters to me! :thumbup: (Not that i'm an expert or anything!)

Hope it's the start of something for you hun.


----------



## purple_socks

just updated the thread i posted erlier but thought i'd update here too...having contractions but they're abit erratic at the mo. Still leaking waters. Had MW round and all is fine. i'll keep u all posted x


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## lindypops

Good luck, socks!


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## purple_socks

Contractions r still erratic...they range from 3 mins to 9 mins apart and last between 50 secs and 1.30 mins...they def need breathing through but they're manageable. Think its gonna b a long night


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## Shifter

You're doing great hun. Have you tried having a bath to relax?


----------



## purple_socks

yeah had 2 baths...i couldn't get comfy earlier. Everything i tried seemed to make it hurt so found the bath was the only nice place to b but i've managed to find a comfy place now and am quite chilled...keeping still in an arm chair in a pile of cushions and breathing deeply makes it all much better (slightly concerned it might also b making it slower to progress but i'd rather slow labor then the painfulness i had earlier) i even managed some nap-age in between contractions! 

MW called and got me to take my temp over the phone. All was fine. She said someone will pop round 2moro if i haven't called b4 then. I'm quite happy with that. I like the fact they're not in my space or checking up on me all the time. I also suspect i'm not very dilated so really think i'll need them for a while.


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## Shifter

That's great PS, great that they are giving you plenty of space and not clock watching :happydance:

I hope it continues to go well and your LO arrives gently at home soon.


----------



## Demeter

Hi ladies. I haven't read the whole thread, but I'd like to join you all. I'm expecting number 3 next March and am planning another home birth. Both my daughters were born at home :cloud9:


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## Shifter

:hi: demeter.

Where is everybody?


----------



## MsEmski

Having their babies? 

I want a home birth. This will be my first (and last!) one.

Hullo all!


----------



## lindypops

Hi MsEmski. Welcome to the thread - I'd be really interested to hear about your previous homebirths - how easy they were to 'get' (did you have to put your foot down about mws coming, for example?) and what worked for you.

Shifter, I'm taking advantage of my mat leave and watching crap telly!!!


----------



## emerald78

I work at a hospital and I was in a meeting where the General Manager told the team that they encourage home births as much as they can. Not long after that meeting I found out I was pregnant. As I have always liked the idea of a home birth when my midwife came to the house I requested one. The response I had was not an encouraging one. She responded by saying it depends if we have enough staff on. Also I have a gallstone (i know ouchh) so that may put them off. 

I am would love a home birth and to be honest I am only 5 mins walk from the maternity unit if anything was to go wrong my OH has said that he will put me in the wheelie bin and rush me there. 

I am just really annoyed that the NHS staff are to encourage homebirths but that never appears to be the case. So far I am not impressed with midwifes as they have not been much use as yet. I hope this improves as time goes on.

You can stay in the bath for as long as you want. When you feel the need to push and do not want it in a pool just get out. Where to give birth probably your spare room cover your mattress with a water proof sheet but the hospital do give you a home pack with lots of things like dust type sheets that cover furniture as a matter of hygiene for the baby.

Best of luck to you all regardless of where you give birth.


----------



## MsEmski

Hi Emerald, I'm from Lancashire too. I have yet to speak to the midwife about it, but I believe if you're persitant enough about it they HAVE to send a midwife out to the birth.

Not ideal, I know, arguing whilst in labour. But there is hope!


----------



## lindypops

MsEmski said:


> Hi Emerald, I'm from Lancashire too. I have yet to speak to the midwife about it, but I believe if you're persitant enough about it they HAVE to send a midwife out to the birth.
> 
> Not ideal, I know, arguing whilst in labour. But there is hope!

If you read some of the posts in this thread you'll find out that this is unfortunately not the case.

They HAVE to send someone out - but that someone could be a paramedic (I met someone this happened to).

From what I have found out, your best chance of getting a mw (if you need on in the middle of the night) is to send letters announcing your intentions to your MP, head of midwifery and CEO of the local trust, then prime your OH what to say on the phone, stand your ground and keep insisting on that mw.

As you say, this is the last thing any of us is likely to want to do in labour - but having OH doing it is prob the best thing.

Oh, and don't sign the 'disclaimer' which says something along the lines of 'I uderstand that due to staffing issues I may not get the hb I am planning' - it weaknes your position. My mw was more than happy for me not to sign (in fact, she told me not to!).


----------



## Shifter

lindypops said:


> MsEmski said:
> 
> 
> Hi Emerald, I'm from Lancashire too. I have yet to speak to the midwife about it, but I believe if you're persitant enough about it they HAVE to send a midwife out to the birth.
> 
> Not ideal, I know, arguing whilst in labour. But there is hope!
> 
> If you read some of the posts in this thread you'll find out that this is unfortunately not the case.
> 
> They HAVE to send someone out - but that someone could be a paramedic (I met someone this happened to).Click to expand...

I've never encountered anyone who didn't get a MW on the day. I think in the vast majority of cases they do send a MW.



lindypops said:


> From what I have found out, your best chance of getting a mw (if you need on in the middle of the night) is to send letters announcing your intentions to your MP, head of midwifery and CEO of the local trust, then prime your OH what to say on the phone, stand your ground and keep insisting on that mw.
> 
> As you say, this is the last thing any of us is likely to want to do in labour - but having OH doing it is prob the best thing.
> 
> Oh, and don't sign the 'disclaimer' which says something along the lines of 'I uderstand that due to staffing issues I may not get the hb I am planning' - it weaknes your position. My mw was more than happy for me not to sign (in fact, she told me not to!).

Absolutely. If you encounter obstructive MWs then a firm letter to the HOM will get you the right care and support. If they realise they can't push you around they will stop trying.


----------



## marley2580

Well I don't have gestational diabetes so I'm still fine for my HBAC. Yay!

Anyone heard from PB?


----------



## Shifter

:wohoo: Marley!

I'm starting to worry about PS a bit now. I really hope she's ok and the birth went well.


----------



## MsEmski

lindypops said:


> If you read some of the posts in this thread you'll find out that this is unfortunately not the case.

I have indeed read the majority of the thread- prior to that I had the assumption that there wouldn't be any form of fuss and that midwives would automatically be sent out.

The person I was replying to had said that she'd had the advice that they'd only get a midwife if the staffing levels were okay, and I remembered reading a large post about being very, very persistent and not deviating from the script of "you will have to send a midwife... etc etc etc".


----------



## lindypops

MsEmski said:


> lindypops said:
> 
> 
> If you read some of the posts in this thread you'll find out that this is unfortunately not the case.
> 
> I have indeed read the majority of the thread- prior to that I had the assumption that there wouldn't be any form of fuss and that midwives would automatically be sent out.
> 
> The person I was replying to had said that she'd had the advice that they'd only get a midwife if the staffing levels were okay, and I remembered reading a large post about being very, very persistent and not deviating from the script of "you will have to send a midwife... etc etc etc".Click to expand...

I wasn't automatically assuming that you hadn't - just trying to be helpful!


----------



## MsEmski

Sorry Lindypops, didn't mean to sound like a b*tch- it's the hormones!


----------



## lovedupgirl

Hi girls how is everyone?

Well Im finally feeling lots better having recovered from swine flu,still a bit tired but miles better than I was.
Bit of bad news as well though, I have developed sciatica(sp?) and can barely get up/down the stairs etc, this is a new experience as I never had anything like that with the previous three pregs.
Oh well only 7 weeks to go now!:happydance:

Shifter: I was wondering what was happening with PS as well, I hope her lack of posting is due to her bonding with bubs and that she had an amazing birth experience.

Marley: Glad to hear you dont have GD and still on track for your HB.:happydance:

MsEmski: Any info about your previous homebirths,what your experiences were like etc would be appreciated by all here.

Lindypops: Not long now hun, bet you cant wait!

Emerald78: Isn't it annoying how the NHS tell you they are pro homebirth and then so many women have trouble trying to book one! Why do they think staffing issues are our problem and not theirs is beyond me :gun:


----------



## Shifter

Has PS not posted a birth announcement in 3rd tri? I don't go there these days.



> MsEmski: Any info about your previous homebirths,what your experiences were like etc would be appreciated by all here.

I don't think MsEmski has had a home birth before has she?


----------



## MsEmski

I think it was the lady that posted above my initial comment that had had numerous home births. This will be my first birth- hopefully a home birth and definitely my last!


----------



## Demeter

:hi: It was me that has had home births before. DD1 I changed my mind quite late in pregnancy, 32 weeks. CMW was really pleased and put everything in place for us. I had no problems with the NHS, thankfully, though I realise this is rare. The only thing was that MW booked a consultant appointment for me for 41 weeks, as a matter of protocol. I rang to cancel, was told I couldn't cancel :saywhat: so I said "You can either cancel the appointment or waste the consultant's time when I don't turn up." No idea whether this did the trick or not as I simply ended the call and didn't go. 

I went into labour at 41+2 and had a 3 day labour with the MWs only being called on day 3, by which point I was 6cms (obviously a looooong latent phase!) and DD1 was born a few hours later in the birth pool, delivered by the MW. It was an incredible experience and completely exhausting! The length only confirmed my choice to stay at home, if I had been booked into the hospital I would have had a c/s for FTP.

DD2 I planned a HB from the start. I had the same CMW who was again totally supportive. I didn't see a consultant at all that pregnancy and took natal hypnotherapy classes. I went into labour at 40+4, woke up with waters breaking as I got out of bed! Contractions started about 3 hours later. I laboured on the bed and was in a really deep hypno-trance. I assumed it was going to take a while, what with my first labour being so long. 

After a couple of hours the contractions were 3 in 10 and DH went and got the pool ready and rang the MW. He encouraged me to get in the pool and brought me some toast. The MW arrived and was not happy that I had got into the pool without her "permission". DH took her aside and gently told her that we did not need her permission to do anything!

An hour and a half later I was giving birth to DD2, with DD1 toddling around quietly! I received her myself, with DH sat by the pool with me and MW sat awkwardly on the other side of the room lol! She dashed over, not having realised I was pushing but DH gently stopped her rushing in while I put Willow to my breast. I stayed in the pool to deliver the placenta and then we asked the MW to clamp and cut the cord. 

The whole thing was under 7 hours and as we moved ourselves to our bed the MW tidied up and brought us tea and toast. The second MW was never called and before she left she actually thanked us for letting her witness such a beautiful birth :cloud9:

This time we are going for an unassisted home birth. We didn't really need the MW last time so we figure why not go it completely alone unless there is a problem of course.


----------



## Mrs. JJ

Beautiful stories Demeter, thanks so much for sharing!! :hugs:


----------



## lindypops

You're right, lovedup, I can't wait - all of me aches and everyone keeps asking me when the big day is. And I'm in the house a lot. It's awful: I have to keep finding things to clean, just to keep from chewing my own leg off in boredom!!!!

Actually, a good friend came to stay overnight on Weds, which was great - I took her to Yarmouth to eat chips! and my mum and dad are coming tonight for a week, so they can do the cleaning now!

Well, I had sent of my letter t o my MP and the CEO of my local hosp re my homebirth - got a reponse (finally) yesterday. Here are some bits that were in it:


It is the trust's policy to promote woman centred care and to offer choices, as far as possible, within the resources available to it.
We explain to all expecting mothers that it is not possible to guarantee that a mw will be unoccuppied at the time that they go into labour.
In the circumstance that all mw are engaged in caring for other labouring women, we have to advise women to come to the hosp for support during childbirth.
I'm sure that you will appreciate that we are obliged to consider the interests and needs of all women in labour.

So here's my (slighty less assertive and more aggressive) response:

Dear Ms Dugdale
Thank you for your letter dated 16 July (received 23 July).

I also have a high expectation that, unless there are unforseeable complications, I will be giving birth at home, regardless of time of day and staffing levels at the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital.

In line with your policy to promote women-centred care, I expect that my needs and wishes are taken into account when my preferences are being supported. I am also aware that is is my right to plan and expect the birth I want, as I feel this will make a big difference to the experience, which I believe will have a long-term effect on both me and my family.

I am obviously aware that there is little way of knowing when exactly I and other local women will go into labour; I am also aware that this makes it impossible for you to plan shifts and staffing perfectly. However, this is an issue that will always be connected to labour and birthing and it becomes the responsibility of the NHS to find an acceptable solution, not my burden to have to accept a lower level of care than I have a right to expect.

Furthermore, while I understand that many women want to give birth in hospital, and I agree that all womens rights during labour are important  not just my own  it is the responsibility of the NHS, and the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital in this case, to provide acceptable care for all labouring women. It is is not up to me to take on this responsibility and to be made to feel that my choices have limited the choices of others and I dont accept that this is the case.

I am planning to progress with my homebirth plans and intend to do everything withing my power to make sure that I get the birth for which I have planned. Once again, I expect the full support of the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital in this, not an explanation of issues which are frankly not my concern.

Yours sincerely,

As it took them so long to respond last time I doubt I'll get something back before the big day (!) but I feel like at least I'm asserting myself. None of the women in my family do that - my mum and sis defer to authorirty (incvluding their husbands) at the drop of a hat, so although I know I'm being a bit confrontational, I'm actually quite proud of myself for asserting what I want, as I have never really done anything like that before!


----------



## purple_socks

Hi guys...sorry i haven't been able to get on here and update until now: https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnancy-third-trimester/165533-purple-socks-back-ive-got-mini-me.html

Thank u so much 4 all ur support and advice...i'll b back when i get a chance and what this space for my birth story (its gonna b a long one so i'll leave it till i can devote some time to writing it)

hope everyones ok? x


----------



## amandas

Hi Everyone!

I hadn't seen this thread before but I'm glad I've found it! We're planning on a home/water/hypnobirth! We had our first hypnobirth class this week and I'm borrowing my cousin's birth pool (we're getting a new liner!).

I was just wondering for those of you planning a water birth at home, where are you planning on having the pool? I was assuming that we'd have ours in the kitchen as that's where the taps are! But then when I went to the waterbirth evening at our local hospital they suggested you may like to get in and out of the pool, spending time on the bed, so now I'm wondering if we should have it upstairs? Any thoughts?

Amanda


----------



## amandas

PS - Thank you Demeter for sharing your story. I hope that our birth can be as relaxed as yours!


----------



## lindypops

amandas said:


> Hi Everyone!
> 
> I hadn't seen this thread before but I'm glad I've found it! We're planning on a home/water/hypnobirth! We had our first hypnobirth class this week and I'm borrowing my cousin's birth pool (we're getting a new liner!).
> 
> I was just wondering for those of you planning a water birth at home, where are you planning on having the pool? I was assuming that we'd have ours in the kitchen as that's where the taps are! But then when I went to the waterbirth evening at our local hospital they suggested you may like to get in and out of the pool, spending time on the bed, so now I'm wondering if we should have it upstairs? Any thoughts?
> 
> Amanda


Hi Amanda, I'm also planning a home water birth.

We're having our pool in the front room, next to the biggr, squashiet sofa you could imagine. I know it hasn't cross DH's mind yet that I might want to be on it to give birth, but we have plenty of waterproof sheets, so it should be ok.

(Found huge, cheap ones in Poundland, btw, if anyone is looking for some still).

I think the problems with having it upstairs would be the weight of it and what might happen if it leaked.

We're connecting the tap to a hosepipe which means in theory it would reach antywhere in the house. DH is up for a pool party outside, complete with bbq :rofl:

Mind you, with weather like this, we wouldn't need the hosepipe...


----------



## marley2580

Gaaah, I'm sure sprog is breech atm. I've got the MWs coming on sunday and I'm sure I'll be sent for yet another scan. If it's breech then I'll have to look at moxibustion. I know there's still time for it to turn but that time is running out - I'll be 37 weeks on Sunday.


----------



## lindypops

Just looked up moxibustion - sounds interesting. I'd definitely have reflexology/
acupuncture if LO was two weeks overdue.

Why do you think LO is breech? My friend's mw was convinced her LO was breech, but that was cos he was so far down they coudn't find his head so had to asusme his bum was his head!

Fingers crossed Lo is head down!


----------



## marley2580

Coz the only big lump I can find is quite high up and, unlike a bum, isn't squishy. I really hope I'm wrong though as a breech baby means another section, as I wouldn't feel confident about a natural birth after what happened last time.


----------



## lindypops

Anyone see this yesterday?

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/swine-flu/5908614/Swine-flu-a-threat-to-home-births.html

Apparently they are going to think about stopping the hb service if swine flu becomes an epidemic, as they won't be able to spare the staff. And let mums and their newborns out sooner than now.

Not sure where they are going to get the extra beds from...

Now more than ever I am thinking about how to bring this baby on!


----------



## lovedupgirl

Oh no!:cry:

Hope this doesnt appen in my area anytime soon, I still have 7 weeks to go!

Dont think it will be much of a threat to your HB lindypops hun, only 1 week left :happydance:

Have you started techniques to get bubs out yet?


----------



## Shifter

Great letter lindypops.

PS - sorry about your c/s. Sounds like the same thing happened to you as me :hugs: I hope you stay ok with it all, I know for me it took a few days before I started to feel regrets and doubts about the necessity of my c/s. (Still waiting for my notes to arrive *taps foot impatiently*)

:hi: amanda. We set up the pool in the dining room next to the kitchen. We live in a bungalow, so upstairs wasn't an option (although it is a conversion and we do have one room upstairs, but it's our dumping ground!) and the dining room had the advantage of being laminate flooring and in the centre of the house with easy access to bedroom, living room and bathroom.

Marley - I hope baby isn't breech or turns quickly if it is. Hypnotherapy can turn breech babies, there was a really good study done with impressive results.


----------



## lindypops

lovedupgirl said:


> Oh no!:cry:
> 
> Hope this doesnt appen in my area anytime soon, I still have 7 weeks to go!
> 
> Dont think it will be much of a threat to your HB lindypops hun, only 1 week left :happydance:
> 
> Have you started techniques to get bubs out yet?

I know! I'm now thinking that my hospital will; try any excuse not to let me have my hb, so am a bit paranoid. Mind you, am a bit paranoid about everything at the moment!

Re. trying stuff to get her out, my mum and dad are staying for the week, so we haven't gone down the vigorous sex route yet :rofl: :rofl:

...but we have said Thursday night is the night, as they go home in the afternoon!

Haven't done much else about it - RLT, a bit of walking and carrying heavy shopping, a curry the other night (but it was too hot to eat, so I couldn't finish it!). I really should bounce around on my ball for a bit too!

Any other ideas? I don't want to be induced and I'm firmly of the 'she'll come when she's ready' school - but I want to meet her now, and am v impatient to get on with the next stage, which I have been thinking about and planing for for the past nine months!


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## oldermummy

Hi, I'm glad I found this post, I was going to start one!!
I am going to be choosing a home birth, I was booked in for one for my little boy now 2 but he decided to put in an early appearance (8 weeks early). I am sure that I will be advised that this is not the way to go but I am determined, I really don't do well in hospitals (unless I have a uniform on!!) I get so stressed out which does the baby no good. I am only early on right now so we'll see what is said when I go for my booking in appointment.:haha:


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## marley2580

Have you tried running up and down the stairs lol? Tbh, nothing really works except the baby being ready to come.


----------



## lovedupgirl

lindypops said:


> lovedupgirl said:
> 
> 
> Oh no!:cry:
> 
> Hope this doesnt appen in my area anytime soon, I still have 7 weeks to go!
> 
> Dont think it will be much of a threat to your HB lindypops hun, only 1 week left :happydance:
> 
> Have you started techniques to get bubs out yet?
> 
> I know! I'm now thinking that my hospital will; try any excuse not to let me have my hb, so am a bit paranoid. Mind you, am a bit paranoid about everything at the moment!
> 
> Re. trying stuff to get her out, my mum and dad are staying for the week, so we haven't gone down the vigorous sex route yet :rofl: :rofl:
> 
> ...but we have said Thursday night is the night, as they go home in the afternoon!
> 
> Haven't done much else about it - RLT, a bit of walking and carrying heavy shopping, a curry the other night (but it was too hot to eat, so I couldn't finish it!). I really should bounce around on my ball for a bit too!
> 
> Any other ideas? I don't want to be induced and I'm firmly of the 'she'll come when she's ready' school - but I want to meet her now, and am v impatient to get on with the next stage, which I have been thinking about and planing for for the past nine months!Click to expand...

EPO vaginally, long walks, nipple stimulation, reflexology, fresh pineapple.....
Cant think of anymore rght now!

:hugs:


----------



## Shifter

:hugs: lindypops. There really isn't anything you can do except relax, be patient and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.


----------



## MsEmski

Hey- hope all your labours come on soon and everything goes well at home for you all!

I'm excited now as I saw the midwife this morning and she's apparently a bit of a local home birthing champion! Had no problems asking for it and met with no resistance at all, something I was a little worried about.
She was great, really matter-of-fact and confident- in fact the discussion went really quickly and ended with her telling me about her equipment that she'll drop off at 37+.

The only possible negative I could find was that she said "we only need you and baby to continue being healthy". Has anyone had their MW say something similar? Do you think that they're talking about major catastrophes or things like low iron levels etc.?

Any opinions grateful!


----------



## Shifter

MsEmski said:


> Hey- hope all your labours come on soon and everything goes well at home for you all!
> 
> I'm excited now as I saw the midwife this morning and she's apparently a bit of a local home birthing champion! Had no problems asking for it and met with no resistance at all, something I was a little worried about.
> She was great, really matter-of-fact and confident- in fact the discussion went really quickly and ended with her telling me about her equipment that she'll drop off at 37+.
> 
> The only possible negative I could find was that she said "we only need you and baby to continue being healthy". Has anyone had their MW say something similar? Do you think that they're talking about major catastrophes or things like low iron levels etc.?
> 
> Any opinions grateful!

I'm really glad it went well for you! My MW was like that too, really supportive. It depends on your area just how "serious" they perceive things to be and what constitutes a problem. Maybe ask her at your next appointment? Just so you know where you stand. But hopefully there won't be any wobbles, even little ones!


----------



## lindypops

Shifter said:


> :hugs: lindypops. There really isn't anything you can do except relax, be patient and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

You're right, I know...but I'm *so* grumpy all the time - I ache all over 23 hours of the day, am getting miserable with everyone, keep thinking 'is this it?' and when there is no one here to entertain me (had a mate for two days, now my parents till Thurs) get bored and miserable.

I just want to meet my baby! :hissy:

I just don't think I'm enjoying it. The only thing I'm enjoying is baking and making soup for the freezer! When I think of all the yummy food in there I soon cheer up! 

Not sure I've got my priorities right...


----------



## lovedupgirl

lindypops said:


> Shifter said:
> 
> 
> :hugs: lindypops. There really isn't anything you can do except relax, be patient and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.
> 
> You're right, I know...but I'm *so* grumpy all the time - I ache all over 23 hours of the day, am getting miserable with everyone, keep thinking 'is this it?' and when there is no one here to entertain me (had a mate for two days, now my parents till Thurs) get bored and miserable.
> 
> I just want to meet my baby! :hissy:
> 
> I just don't think I'm enjoying it. The only thing I'm enjoying is baking and making soup for the freezer! When I think of all the yummy food in there I soon cheer up!
> 
> Not sure I've got my priorities right...Click to expand...

You definetly have huni, at least you'll have lots of yummy food thats easy to cook once baby is here, Im doing the same thing a couple of weeks before my due date, will be making LOTS of sheperds pies, stews, soups etc to see us through the first few weeks!With 3 hungry LOs to feed I will definetly need to be stocked up!
I know exactly how you re feeling hun :hugs:
Not quiet at that stage yet but with my previous pregnancies the last 2 weeks were the hardest, I know you are feeling impatient to meet your bubs but your time will come before you know it.

xx


----------



## lindypops

lovedupgirl said:


> lindypops said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Shifter said:
> 
> 
> :hugs: lindypops. There really isn't anything you can do except relax, be patient and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.
> 
> You're right, I know...but I'm *so* grumpy all the time - I ache all over 23 hours of the day, am getting miserable with everyone, keep thinking 'is this it?' and when there is no one here to entertain me (had a mate for two days, now my parents till Thurs) get bored and miserable.
> 
> I just want to meet my baby! :hissy:
> 
> I just don't think I'm enjoying it. The only thing I'm enjoying is baking and making soup for the freezer! When I think of all the yummy food in there I soon cheer up!
> 
> Not sure I've got my priorities right...Click to expand...
> 
> You definetly have huni, at least you'll have *lots of yummy food* thats easy to cook once baby is here, Im doing the same thing a couple of weeks before my due date, will be making LOTS of sheperds pies, stews, soups etc to see us through the first few weeks!With 3 hungry LOs to feed I will definetly need to be stocked up!
> 
> xxClick to expand...

You can't have tasted my cooking!!! :rofl:

Went to see mw today - I'm 1/5 engaged, she said she doesn't know why she hasn't made an appearance yet. But apart from twinges, no signs :hissy:


----------



## Shifter

lindypops said:


> You can't have tasted my cooking!!! :rofl:
> 
> Went to see mw today - I'm 1/5 engaged, she said she doesn't know why she hasn't made an appearance yet. But apart from twinges, no signs :hissy:

Won't be long now hun :hugs: Is this your first? If so then remember that statistically 41+3 is about when to expect LO.


----------



## Kitten

Lindypops if you get to 40+5 make sure you book a sweep! They couldn't get me in for one until 41+4 but I spoke to the hospital cos I really didn't want an induction and they gave me one at 41+1, me and hubby had sex twice and I went into labour that night and had my home birth the next day :)


----------



## Shifter

Sweeps have been shown to make no difference hun. They only work if you're already ready to go.


----------



## angelae36

I've seen my midwife today for the first time since my consultant told me he didn't agree with any of my decisions but he won't talk me out of them.

Anyway, she tried to put the frighteners on me.
I was told that because of my BMI I am at a high risk of needing a cesarian (which I know about) and that a perfectly smooth labour can suddenly (within 1 minute) become an emergency. That is why I would be better in hospital.
That was the only reason I was given.

If I still insist on having a home birth and apparently I need to think about this very carefully, I will need a supervisor visit because I am "high risk".

I have given this a lot of thought and read all the websites about home birth so I am not in the dark.
My other 2 babies were born in hospital and while it wasn't a dire experience I just want to be at home (smooth labour permitting) this time.

So I await the next step. I will not back down unless complications arise. Having a high BMI alone is not a reason not to have a baby at home.

Feel better now - just needed to get it all off my chest!


----------



## Shifter

angelae36 said:


> I've seen my midwife today for the first time since my consultant told me he didn't agree with any of my decisions but he won't talk me out of them.
> 
> Anyway, she tried to put the frighteners on me.
> I was told that because of my BMI I am at a high risk of needing a cesarian (which I know about) and that a perfectly smooth labour can suddenly (within 1 minute) become an emergency. That is why I would be better in hospital.
> That was the only reason I was given.
> 
> If I still insist on having a home birth and apparently I need to think about this very carefully, I will need a supervisor visit because I am "high risk".
> 
> I have given this a lot of thought and read all the websites about home birth so I am not in the dark.
> My other 2 babies were born in hospital and while it wasn't a dire experience I just want to be at home (smooth labour permitting) this time.
> 
> So I await the next step. I will not back down unless complications arise. Having a high BMI alone is not a reason not to have a baby at home.
> 
> Feel better now - just needed to get it all off my chest!

:hugs:

Good for you. Remember that operating theatres are not sat empty with surgeons gloved up and ready to go at a moment's notice. I was in hospital by the time the decision to cut was made and had to wait for the anaesthetist to top up my epi as he was in theatre. It took an hour from the decision to being wheeled to theatre. There is so little that can happen during labour that an ambulance ride would cause harmful delays.


----------



## angelae36

Shifter said:


> :hugs:
> 
> Good for you. Remember that operating theatres are not sat empty with surgeons gloved up and ready to go at a moment's notice. I was in hospital by the time the decision to cut was made and had to wait for the anaesthetist to top up my epi as he was in theatre. It took an hour from the decision to being wheeled to theatre. There is so little that can happen during labour that an ambulance ride would cause harmful delays.

Thats pretty much what I've been saying all along but the way the midwife put it it was like an emergency WILL happen and there will be no time to get me to hospital and we're only 10 mins at the most away from it and thats in a car!

I will stand my ground!:thumbup:


----------



## lindypops

Thanks firls - I'm just *so* bored of this!

Didn't sleep amazingly well last night - periods pains in my tummy and back and I'm foolishly hoping this is the start of something. If it's not, I guess I'm in for the long haul. I know it's on average 8 days over for me as a first-timer.

I have got a sweep booked for next Friday - my mw knows it's the only type of induction I'm prepared to consider at this stage.

On the bright side, my lovely mw is on holiday till Monday, so if this isn't it, at least I have a better chance of getting her for my hb!


----------



## oldermummy

Hi all, I think that it is such a shame that many 'modern' midwives are so anti home birth. My mum was a midwife for 40 years and attended many home deliveries. When I was pregnant with my first (14 years ago) I requested a home birth and was told no chance, so I left it at that. My mum attended my daughters birth at the hospital (one of her students delivered me) she said afterwards to me and the midwife that she believed that I was have delivered much quicker and with much less stress had I been at home (as a nurse I hate being in hosp).
I was booked in for a home birth for my little boy, now 2 but unfortunately I had early rupture of membranes at 31 weeks and delivered him in hosp at 32 weeks.
I will be booking in for a home birth again this time, although I am expecting arguements about it due to my last labour.
I have researched in depth home birth and believe that on the whole it is the best, most natural and stress free way to give birth. 
I have looked into having a private midwife who specialises in home births, these ladies totally believe in them and are very experienced and are more than happy to take on women who have had c sections in the past and will also deliver twins at home.
Although there is obviously a risk if there is a problem, if you actually look at the figures they are fairly low ( in my mum's career she only had perhaps 2 really big emergencies where the ambulance had to be called, and all worked out well and that is compared to the hundreds of normal deliveries.)
I just hope that none of the ladies wishing for a home birth are put off by negative comments from consultants or midwives. There are many very helpful sites online for women wanting home birth.
Good luck everyone.:thumbup:


----------



## angelae36

oldermummy said:


> I just hope that none of the ladies wishing for a home birth are put off by negative comments from consultants or midwives. There are many very helpful sites online for women wanting home birth.
> Good luck everyone.:thumbup:

I'm actually quite angry at my midwife. She even admitted she was trying to put me off.
However, it just makes me more stubborn unfortunately so I will fight tooth and nail to get what I want for a change and not become another lemming for the NHS!!!


----------



## oldermummy

Good for you, maybe try and google private midwives see if there are any in you area, I'm not sure what they charge but they may be able to give you some pro home birth info.


----------



## Shifter

Linypops, you might find this info on sweeps interesting: https://www.radmid.demon.co.uk/sweep.htm


----------



## lindypops

Angelae, that's so not right - I can't believe she said she was trying to put you off! At least she's honest - it gives you something to work with rather than feeling you're banging your head against a brick wall.

Hi oldermummy - I'm lucky, my mw is extremely pro-hb, prob cos she's had two herself, out of three births. But IKWYM - I get the feeling that so few mw's have attended an intervention-free birth they think hospital and drugs is the only way. 

You sound like the kind of person who will stand your ground, though! I'm hoping to be the same - and preferably asap!!


----------



## lindypops

Shifter, I've just skimmed some of that link and it's really interesting - esp the idea of losing modesty and disregard for female genitalia.

One of the reasons I'm so keen to avoid hospital is that I suffered from vaginismus until I was 26, having endured some fairly crap and traumatic 'therapy' (physical and psychological) until I finally realised that the only thing preventing me with getting on with my life was me - so finally lost my virginity at 26. Then had abnormal smear after abnormal smear, resulting in surgery. So am pretty vulnerable 'down there'. And I'm now wondering whether a sweep might affect my state of mind...

I also agree totally with the premature bringing on of labour and subscribe to the 'she'll come when she's ready' camp - but I'm so big, heavy and achey!! :hissy:


----------



## lindypops

The mw I saw on Weds also said they only work in about 1 out of 7 cases - and many times when they work, cervix is already soft and effaced (or whatever it's called), so chances are that woman would have gone into labour fairly imminently anyway.

I seem to be talking myself out of this, don't I?!


----------



## Shifter

That's exactly as I understand it too lindypops, sweeps only "work" when the cervix is already favourable, so labour is imminent already. :hugs: about your history hun. I know it's hard, I was so big and uncomfortable the last four or five weeks, couldn't sleep, couldn't face going anywhere. But I strongly believe that there is nothing to be gained from trying to hurry a baby into the world. Try to find something you can do every day that makes you a little more comfortable for a while, be it a relaxing bath, a short walk or an afternoon nap on your left side lol! :hug:


----------



## meandmyfive

Hi girls i posted this in another section i didnt see this one i am hoping you can help me, has anyone had a homebirth with a history of strep B. I would love a homebirth this time but i dont know if i will be allowed as i have had strep b in the last 2 pregnancies.

Thanks for any advice


----------



## Shifter

meandmyfive said:


> Hi girls i posted this in another section i didnt see this one i am hoping you can help me, has anyone had a homebirth with a history of strep B. I would love a homebirth this time but i dont know if i will be allowed as i have had strep b in the last 2 pregnancies.
> 
> Thanks for any advice

I don't know much about strep B, never had it, but no one but you can "allow" you a home birth. It is your choice where you have your baby, no matter how high a risk you are or how high the NHS tells you you are. It is not for doctors or MWs to tell you what you can and can't do during childbirth. They can advise you and will possibly try to coerce you to go along with what is best for *them*, but only you know what is best for *you* and you are free to make your own decisions.

You could try asking on the yahoo home birth group as someone there may have specific experience to draw advice from :hugs:


----------



## lindypops

Hi Meandmyfive - I also have absolutely no idea about strep B or any issues to do with it, but I fully support what Shifter says - if you do the research and calculate any pros and cons, then you'll be empowered to make the best decision for yourself and your family.


----------



## lindypops

Shifter said:


> That's exactly as I understand it too lindypops, sweeps only "work" when the cervix is already favourable, so labour is imminent already. :hugs: about your history hun. I know it's hard, I was so big and uncomfortable the last four or five weeks, couldn't sleep, couldn't face going anywhere. But I strongly believe that there is nothing to be gained from trying to hurry a baby into the world. Try to find something you can do every day that makes you a little more comfortable for a while, be it a relaxing bath, a short walk or an afternoon nap on your left side lol! :hug:

Shifter, I just wanted to say that I have found you incredibly supportive on this thread and you always seem to speak words of measured sense.

Thank you :hugs: :thumbup:


----------



## meandmyfive

Shifter said:


> meandmyfive said:
> 
> 
> Hi girls i posted this in another section i didnt see this one i am hoping you can help me, has anyone had a homebirth with a history of strep B. I would love a homebirth this time but i dont know if i will be allowed as i have had strep b in the last 2 pregnancies.
> 
> Thanks for any advice
> 
> I don't know much about strep B, never had it, but no one but you can "allow" you a home birth. It is your choice where you have your baby, no matter how high a risk you are or how high the NHS tells you you are. It is not for doctors or MWs to tell you what you can and can't do during childbirth. They can advise you and will possibly try to coerce you to go along with what is best for *them*, but only you know what is best for *you* and you are free to make your own decisions.
> 
> You could try asking on the yahoo home birth group as someone there may have specific experience to draw advice from :hugs:Click to expand...

Thankyou for your advice and support :hugs:


----------



## meandmyfive

lindypops said:


> Hi Meandmyfive - I also have absolutely no idea about strep B or any issues to do with it, but I fully support what Shifter says - if you do the research and calculate any pros and cons, then you'll be empowered to make the best decision for yourself and your family.

Thankyou :hugs:


----------



## amandas

Hi Meandmyfive

I have been told by my mw that if i have strep b i would have to go into hospital for the birth as it would be necessary for me/baby to have antibiotics. They don't do routine testing here (i don;t know about other parts of the country) but i think the test is about £30 to do yourself. Saying that, if you've had it before with previous pregnancies I would imagine they may automatically test you? I think that if i found i was positive then i would probably take the advice of the mws and have the baby in hospital, as i gather the effects of strep b on babies can be quite serious. 
hth! x


----------



## meandmyfive

Hi amandas

I think they will test me again i guess i am going to have wait and see what they say at my booking in appointment.


----------



## marley2580

Just had my home visit from the MW and baby is head down but still high. Everything is ok for the HB but if the head doesn't engage by about 41wks we may need to reassess. Both mine and the MW's main concern is the head descending through the pelvis as that's what went wrong last time. I'm having a crisis of confidence, but I'm determined to at least give it a good try, I'd regret it if I went straight for a section (even if it does seem easier atm).


----------



## wishing4bub#3

Hi i was wondering if anyone is going to have or has had a HBA2C? i am seriously thinking about doing this (not even pregnant yet) i would like to hear storys succesful or not. Thanks


----------



## lindypops

So, my waters have gone! (I think...)

Clear, slow but plenty of it overnight - soaked three mat pads (tmi!) since about 5.30 last night.

They want to monitor LO's hearbeat this morning, though they know I am booked in for a hb, as contractions haven't started.

When delivery suite rang me last night there were no homebirth mw's there at all (typical, but at least i didn't need anyone!) so I'm hoping I start contracting any minute now, so I can avoid the hospital altogether and get mw's out when they come shift.

Waters were clear, which is good - I just need contractions!

Have been visualising flowers opening and waves crashing on the shore!


----------



## marley2580

Good luck hun.


----------



## Rebaby

lindypops said:


> So, my waters have gone! (I think...)

Oooh, exciting! Good luck hun, hope everything goes really smoothly :thumbup:


----------



## lindypops

Still nothing :hissy: 

Hubby coming home from work in a minute to take me to hospital to be monitored.

I've decided I'm prepared to go there to be monitored for up to four days and then come home again each time, and only after four days will I consider induction - assuming regular monitoring doesn't throw up anything wrong.

Wish me luck - I don't want this to drag on!


----------



## becstar

Do they do that lindy? I thought once your waters had gone you had to have the baby within 48 hours because of risk of infection?


----------



## amandas

Good luck Lindypops - hope all goes well and you get the hb that you've been planning! :hugs:


----------



## amandas

wishing4bub#3 said:


> Hi i was wondering if anyone is going to have or has had a HBA2C? i am seriously thinking about doing this (not even pregnant yet) i would like to hear storys succesful or not. Thanks

Hi wishing4bub#3 - sorry if I'm being thick but what is a HBA2C?


----------



## marley2580

wishing4bub#3 said:


> Hi i was wondering if anyone is going to have or has had a HBA2C? i am seriously thinking about doing this (not even pregnant yet) i would like to hear storys succesful or not. Thanks

I know of someone who had a HBA4C! You should join the ukvbachbac yahoo group, there's a lot of women on there that have had HBA2Cs.

(HBA2C - Home Birth After 2 Caesareans)


----------



## marley2580

Anyone heard from Lindypops?


----------



## Shifter

:hugs: Marley, I know it's silly to ask, but have you been doing squats or rocking on a birthing ball? That should open your pelvis up nicely and allow bubs through. I know how scary it is after what happened last time, but remember what you told me? It was bad luck for you last time, which means it's unlikely to happen again. The osteopath gave you the all clear. And bubs is also unlikely to move down much before labour for a 2nd birth.

wishing4bub#3 - I too would recommend joining the ukvbachabac yahoo group. I joined not long after my c/s to help me see that women do manage hbacs. It's a wonderful group full of very supportive people.

Any news from lindypops?


----------



## lindypops

becstar said:


> Do they do that lindy? I thought once your waters had gone you had to have the baby within 48 hours because of risk of infection?

I'm a fesity one! - I don't *have* to have anything I don't want! 

I've looked into this a lot and the risk of infection actually increases significantly after 96 hours, after which 96% of women have gone into labour anyway and the other 4% probably won't go on their own - so induction kind of becomes moot at that point.

I've been on a trace twice, which has been fine, have been monitoring my own temperature, which is fine, have had bloods taken, which indicate no infection and have had a swab done which should come back tomorrow. I've been drinking a lot, having showers not baths and have refused all VE's.

Ironically, the more time I spend at the hospital and the more examinations I accept (none so far) the more likely I am to get an infection.

The doc yesterday wasn't too happy with my choice (he said 'there's no such thing as a right or wrong birth', which I totally disagree with and said so, though he didn't listen), but the mw's were extremely supportive - I saw a different one this morning and she was really happy when the trace was good (got a double thumbs up!) and said they spend more time trying to talk people into waiting longer and *not* being induced, so I was unusual but was doing what they think is best. Which really helped.


----------



## marley2580

Shifter said:


> :hugs: Marley, I know it's silly to ask, but have you been doing squats or rocking on a birthing ball? That should open your pelvis up nicely and allow bubs through. I know how scary it is after what happened last time, but remember what you told me? It was bad luck for you last time, which means it's unlikely to happen again. The osteopath gave you the all clear. And bubs is also unlikely to move down much before labour for a 2nd birth.

I've been on the ball, been walking and been swimming so far. Can't really do any squats as I won't get back up again lol. I am determined to give it a good go, but I do think that if I get to 41 weeks and sprog is no more engaged than Kaya was at that time (3/5ths palpitation so really only 2/5ths engaged) then I'll seriously consider a section, at least I could control what doc I get that way. It's got 4 weeks to head down so I'm not writing it off just yet lol.


----------



## lindypops

Thanks for thinking of me, girls - after the horrible doc yesterday I had a big wobble in the evening and the middle of the night, worrying that Eve would die and it would be my fault :cry:

But I feel much better now - more resigned to not getting my 'dream' labour and birth, more excited about meeting Eve and more confident about the decisions I might make within the parameters of an induced, hospital birth. My DH has been a rock, too - totally supportive of the choices I would like to make and just being there for me totally.

Am going back tomorrow at 9am for more monitoring - even if it's fine, we may discuss setting a date for induction then. I don't want to be stubborn just to make a point.


----------



## Shifter

:hugs: Marley.

Sounds like you are doing great lindypops, I really admire your strength and conviction right now at such a vulnerable time. I hope you go into labour naturally today :)


----------



## purple_socks

Hi guys...just wanted t let u all know i've posted my birth plan.

Lindypops...well done u for being strong and not being forced into something u dont want. i agree that being in hospital and havng loads of checks is more likey to give u an infection! my NCT antenatal teacher said to us once that all this talk of infections the second ur waters break is really ott...its not like we're sponges that suck up air/water/germs the second our waters break! Its all panic over nothing really. As long as ur checking ur temp and having traces etc to b on the safe side i dont think u have anything to worry abt.

Good luck hun xx


----------



## becstar

Sorry lindy, I didn't mean it to come out sounding funny...

As I said in your other thread, if the midwives are happy, stand your ground. My problem is finding a midwife who would support me round here - they're all very strict with procedures!


----------



## lindypops

becstar said:


> Sorry lindy, I didn't mean it to come out sounding funny...
> 
> As I said in your other thread, if the midwives are happy, stand your ground. My problem is finding a midwife who would support me round here - they're all very strict with procedures!

God, Bec, that isn't what I meant at all - I'm not offended, I'm grateful that you have given my situation any thought at all!

It's just that everywhere you go, you are told the words 'you *have* to do such and such'. I just feel that it takes away my control and any authority or hint at a brain that I may have, so I just prefer not to frame it in that way!

Having though it all through we have decided to accept an induction and discuss it today - we have rewritten my birth plan and I am determined to make this as positive an experience as possible. I am hoping they will still accommodate our wishes, as I still intend to maintain some control over what happens to me!

We're taking everything in with us, in case they ask us to stay this morning, though I have no idea how likely that is. Also swinging by Tesco for some chick lit, in case it takes a while.

I'm not thrilled at the idea of being there without Si, but we'll have to deal with that when it happens.

Thanks for all your support, girls - as time goes on I just feel that it isn't up to me to make decisions that may impact on my LO. She can't decide for herself, so I need to do that for her, and she is more important than I am now.

I hope everyone else is ok - sorry, a bit self-obsessed at the moment!


----------



## Rebaby

Good luck hun, i think you have a really positive attitude and i hope everything goes well for you :thumbup:


----------



## becstar

lindypops said:


> becstar said:
> 
> 
> Sorry lindy, I didn't mean it to come out sounding funny...
> 
> As I said in your other thread, if the midwives are happy, stand your ground. My problem is finding a midwife who would support me round here - they're all very strict with procedures!
> 
> God, Bec, that isn't what I meant at all - I'm not offended, I'm grateful that you have given my situation any thought at all!
> 
> It's just that everywhere you go, you are told the words 'you *have* to do such and such'. I just feel that it takes away my control and any authority or hint at a brain that I may have, so I just prefer not to frame it in that way!
> 
> Having though it all through we have decided to accept an induction and discuss it today - we have rewritten my birth plan and I am determined to make this as positive an experience as possible. I am hoping they will still accommodate our wishes, as I still intend to maintain some control over what happens to me!
> 
> We're taking everything in with us, in case they ask us to stay this morning, though I have no idea how likely that is. Also swinging by Tesco for some chick lit, in case it takes a while.
> 
> I'm not thrilled at the idea of being there without Si, but we'll have to deal with that when it happens.
> 
> Thanks for all your support, girls - as time goes on I just feel that it isn't up to me to make decisions that may impact on my LO. She can't decide for herself, so I need to do that for her, and she is more important than I am now.
> 
> I hope everyone else is ok - sorry, a bit self-obsessed at the moment!Click to expand...

Completely understandable! I really hope you still get a birth that you have some control over. I completely understand the way you feel - as I get later and later past my due date and my induction becomes imminent I feel the same - do I refuse? Who am I refusing for, me or the cub? Do I want interventions that might spiral and end up in a section? Or is it selfish not to have them? It's hard being a mum, even before they're born, eh?

Good luck. :hugs:


----------



## Shifter

:hugs: all round.


----------



## Shifter

becstar, I don't think it's selfish to refuse interventions that are not medically indicated at all, you are looking out for the best interests of your LO and yourself and lots of the interventions offered to women have been shown to at best make no difference to outcomes and at worst to have a negative impact. :hugs:


----------



## lovedupgirl

Hi girls!

Well I went to my consultant appointment today, sat in the waiting room for an hour and a half before I got in, my app was 11 am and didnt get in until 12:30!
Very pleased with the outcome though growth is fine!Baby is estimated at 6lbs already!Consultant took my blood pressure, measured my fundus and looked through my notes at my previous pregnancy history and how my previous labours went and he is completely happy for me to aim for a homebirth:happydance:


----------



## Shifter

lovedupgirl said:


> Hi girls!
> 
> Well I went to my consultant appointment today, sat in the waiting room for an hour and a half before I got in, my app was 11 am and didnt get in until 12:30!
> Very pleased with the outcome though growth is fine!Baby is estimated at 6lbs already!Consultant took my blood pressure, measured my fundus and looked through my notes at my previous pregnancy history and how my previous labours went and he is completely happy for me to aim for a homebirth:happydance:

That's great! But of course, you don't need anyone's permission to plan a home birth :winkwink:


----------



## lovedupgirl

Shifter said:


> lovedupgirl said:
> 
> 
> Hi girls!
> 
> Well I went to my consultant appointment today, sat in the waiting room for an hour and a half before I got in, my app was 11 am and didnt get in until 12:30!
> Very pleased with the outcome though growth is fine!Baby is estimated at 6lbs already!Consultant took my blood pressure, measured my fundus and looked through my notes at my previous pregnancy history and how my previous labours went and he is completely happy for me to aim for a homebirth:happydance:
> 
> That's great! But of course, you don't need anyone's permission to plan a home birth :winkwink:Click to expand...

Thanks shifter, if they had tried to put me off I would have stood my ground and had a homebirth anyway but after hearing so many stories about women having to battle with the medical staff to get a homebirth it was nice not to come up against any opposition, the MW did say to me that if I go overdue 12 days or more they will expect me to come in for induction but I have already decided that if it comes to that I will refuse for as long as I possibly can, I will agree to go in for fetal monitoring and wellbeing scans but as long as baby remains happy she will come when shes ready.


----------



## Shifter

I agree hun. I was pleasantly surprised by the consultant I saw at 41 weeks. He was reasonable about our choice not to induce. It's refreshing not to have to argue with them! :hugs:


----------



## marley2580

Just had my first go in the birth pool - it was bliss. Only 35 mins to blow up and fill, and I stayed in for about an hour.


----------



## mummypeanut

good luck to the lady whose waters broke- i hope u get the birth u want.

Youre not going to believe me but i have literally sat here for the last hour or so and read every single post so i feel like i know some of your stories quite well even though you have no idea about me (i really do have no life :dohh:).

I'm still in first tri and ive booked an independant midwife - ive got my booking appt next week. I really want a home birth and she is extremely supportive - I just think psychologically it would be alot better for me and i have a slight phobia of docs/hospitals which always sends my blood pressure through the roof (not a good start)

I know ive posted other quieries on natural mums (or what ever its called) and some of u frm here have replied top those so thanx for those replies theyve been brill.

Some of the earlier posts talked about noise and the neighbours. I was just wondering if anyone lived in a terrace like me? I have male students living on either side rather than families and I honestly dont know if i want to have that conversation with them ;).

Hope everyones feeling happy healthy and positive

Anyway it seems like a lot of u are getting close to your due date and i want to keep this thread going so i thought id encourage more early people like me to chip in.


----------



## Demeter

mummypeanut said:


> Some of the earlier posts talked about noise and the neighbours. I was just wondering if anyone lived in a terrace like me? I have male students living on either side rather than families and I honestly dont know if i want to have that conversation with them ;).

We lived in a terrace when DD1 was born and it honestly never occurred to me to speak to the neighbours about it lol! My labour wasn't really noisy though, so I don't think it can have bothered them. If you are well prepared and relaxed then noise won't be a factor. Have you thought about hypnotherapy for giving birth? Hypno-assisted births tend to be very quiet, my second birth was silent apart from some gentle humming! The only thing to potentially warn your neighbours about might be allowing parking for the MW and possibility of an ambulance in the street if a hospital transfer is required.


----------



## purple_socks

mummypeanut said:


> good luck to the lady whose waters broke- i hope u get the birth u want.
> 
> Youre not going to believe me but i have literally sat here for the last hour or so and read every single post so i feel like i know some of your stories quite well even though you have no idea about me (i really do have no life :dohh:).
> 
> I'm still in first tri and ive booked an independant midwife - ive got my booking appt next week. I really want a home birth and she is extremely supportive - I just think psychologically it would be alot better for me and i have a slight phobia of docs/hospitals which always sends my blood pressure through the roof (not a good start)
> 
> I know ive posted other quieries on natural mums (or what ever its called) and some of u frm here have replied top those so thanx for those replies theyve been brill.
> 
> Some of the earlier posts talked about noise and the neighbours. I was just wondering if anyone lived in a terrace like me? I have male students living on either side rather than families and I honestly dont know if i want to have that conversation with them ;).
> 
> Hope everyones feeling happy healthy and positive
> 
> Anyway it seems like a lot of u are getting close to your due date and i want to keep this thread going so i thought id encourage more early people like me to chip in.

i live in a terrace with v thin walls (i can hear next doors bird copying the mcdonals advert all the time!) but neither neighbour heard me during my labor (i asked them after) even at 3 in the morning when i was sitting by an open window and we had our back door open for quite a while. i didn't say anything to them b4 hand. one neighbour found out right at the start of labour tho coz OH bumped into him on his way to the shops and he asked OH why he wasn't at work. i didn't find i had the urge to really shout r anything. i made low deep mooing sounds coz it felt relaxing and was something to focus on during contractions but i couldn't imagine being really loud or in anyway high pitched-that would have been too forced and totally unhelpful.


----------



## mummypeanut

Demeter said:


> mummypeanut said:
> 
> 
> The only thing to potentially warn your neighbours about might be allowing parking for the MW and possibility of an ambulance in the street if a hospital transfer is required.
> 
> Good point about the ambulance coz we only have on street parking - I suppose there is a pro to my hubby having a ridiculously massive estate car ;) If needs be he will just have to move it and make way- though id rather not have to be transfered as the curtain twitchers would have a field day seeing my naked arse transferred into an ambulance :winkwink:!!Click to expand...


----------



## amandas

Has anyone heard from Lindy?


----------



## marley2580

She had her baby https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnancy-third-trimester/171886-lindypops-baby-eve-has-arrived.html


----------



## Rebaby

Ah congratulations lindypops! :thumbup:


----------



## lovedupgirl

Where have all the homebirth girls gone?!

This thread is very, very quiet lately!

I know that Purplesocks and Lindypops had to have their babies in hospital and that Tsia got the HB that she wanted but where is everyone else?:shrug:

How are you ladies?

Im good 4 weeks 5 days left :happydance:
Its going by sooo fast.

just hope I make it to 38 weeks at least as this is the cut off point for HB in my area:winkwink:


----------



## lindypops

Thanks everyone for your good wishes - and thanks for posting the link to my story! It wasn't exactly a trauma but it wasn't really what I was hoping for!

having said that, it was a hugely positive experience: all the mw's, doctors etc we came across (except one consultant who I didn't feel listened to us) were great, though I do feel the system let us down hugely. That is a battle for another day. At the moment I'm concentrating on my little girl, who is gorgeous, chilled, patient and loving when it comes to breastfeeding and sleeping a lot (thank you, God!).

After a loty of my concerns about being in hosp/having drugs affecting her first few days, this doesn't seem to have happened - she seems a natural breastfeeder, which was one of my concerns - at her 72 hour checkup she'd gained weight, not lost. Our mw said we desrve to have *something* go smoothly for us and I think she's right!

Interestingly, though I obviously felt our situation at hospital was appallingly handled, it was v interesting that so many NHS workers from different areas urged us to write to complain - I think they are frustrated by not being able to give the care they want to due to the hospital's systems. Also, our (private) ante natal class leader, who is both a doula and on the hospitals' maternity services liaison committee, said she was "speechless" about the experience we had and has never heard a story like it. Which makes me feel both more annoyed with the situation and more proud of myself for managing a vaginal delivery (albeit assisted) in the end.

Hope everyone else is ok. 

Not long before I had Eve I heard a birth story in a local homebirth class from a lady who had a hospital birth too and I found her story inspiring bc of the way she kept her dignity and maintained control and I have to say that this really helped me get through my own experience x


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## mummypeanut

Congrats on your little girl lindypops. In the end all the matters is a happy healthy little one - the rest is just icing. Enjoy her and massive congratulations!

Ive got my booking appointment with both the independants who we are employing. Any advice on the things to ask? Ive already seen the lady who will probably be my lead midwife and asked her loads of questions but i was just wondering if you had any pearls of wisdom.

Also, does anyone have any opinions about pethadine. One of my freinds used it during birth and said ti really worked for her, but the midwife was saying it can make the baby dosey and she doesnt carry it - i can get it frm the docs though if i want it. Has anyone here gone and got a perscription for it from thier GP and was it hard to convince them?

xx


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## lovedupgirl

mummypeanut said:


> Congrats on your little girl lindypops. In the end all the matters is a happy healthy little one - the rest is just icing. Enjoy her and massive congratulations!
> 
> Ive got my booking appointment with both the independants who we are employing. Any advice on the things to ask? Ive already seen the lady who will probably be my lead midwife and asked her loads of questions but i was just wondering if you had any pearls of wisdom.
> 
> Also, does anyone have any opinions about pethadine. One of my freinds used it during birth and said ti really worked for her, but the midwife was saying it can make the baby dosey and she doesnt carry it - i can get it frm the docs though if i want it. Has anyone here gone and got a perscription for it from thier GP and was it hard to convince them?
> 
> xx

I think pethidine is a matter of personal choice, it has different effects on different women IYKWIM.

I have used pethedine in 1 of my labours and diamorphine in another, personally I didnt like it at all, my 1st DD was really sleepy for a good 12 hours after birth and I was so tired I could barely hold her.

In my 2nd labour I was coping fine until I had a shot of pethidine and I suddenly lost control.

I had my 3rd baby using only G&A and at birth she was very alert plus I felt i had a lot more control of the experience and could actually remember it :haha:

On the other hand my SIL used pethidine when having my nephew and found it really helped.


I planned a HB with my 2nd LO(which I didnt get due to staff shortages!) and got a prescription for pethidine with no problems!

By the way huge congratulations Lindypops:happydance::cloud9:


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## Rebaby

Well i'm still here :thumbup: and will be for a while yet! Just lurking and trying not to talk myself out of our planned home birth (got my worrying head on these past few weeks :dohh: )

Re: pethidine, it does cross the placental barrier and can make babies very sleepy after birth, worst case scenario, it can depress their respiratory effort meaning they may need some oxygen or help with their breathing until the effects have worn off, although this of course does not happen all the time- or it wouldn't be used!

I have heard mixed reviews also on it's effectiveness. Many people have told me it just made them drowsy/sick/a bit out of it whereas several others have told me it really did the trick for them when they G&A wasn't working anymore.

Ultimately, like so many other things, i think it all comes down to personal choice.


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## marley2580

I'm still here as well. Though I'm getting really fed up now.


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## amandas

I'm still here too! Although I've just been diagnosed with gestational diabetes so have been a bit blue the last few days as I'm really worried it may stop me being able to have the home/water birth that we really want. I'm going to see my midwife tomorrow to discuss with her so keeping my fingers crossed! I'm just hoping i can control it with diet so that i can argue the case for the HB!

Ps - keep your chin up Marley! It'll be worth it in the end! How long have you got to go?


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## JennTheMomma

I'm 4 weeks with babe #2. We're planning a waterbirth at home, already have a Midwife and have been speaking with her for a hew months. Praying everything goes wonderful and we get our homebirth. Our son who will be 2 months shy of 3 years old will be with us, hopefully awake and watching.


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## marley2580

amandas said:


> Ps - keep your chin up Marley! It'll be worth it in the end! How long have you got to go?

I'm 39 weeks on Sunday, but Kaya was 16 days late, so potentially have over three weeks to go :coffee:


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## ellie

Hi everyone, :wave:
Can i join in please?
I'm nearly 26 weeks now and had been considering a homebirth all along, I now think we've pretty much decided to go for it (barring being totally blown away by the birth centre we plan to visit just to check it out!) I've even bought a birth pool off ebay :blush: I am trying not to be influenced by other people's views on how 'dangerous' it might be 'what if something happens, what if the cord is around their neck', etc etc, as I've been reading up on it and reading books on gentle childbirth and hypnobirthing ... Just wondering if anyone had any immediate tips for planning? I saw the mw yesterday (different to my usual one) she didnt even bring it up, so I presume that's a conversation for later on in pregnancy? Hmmm...


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## mummypeanut

Hi to the other new people :hugs:

Sorry i dont have any planning tips because im not that far down the line yet but a couple of people have said to me cheap shower curtains are a good bet (to cover ur floor or sofa or what ever- incase u want some time out of the pool or need to get in and out). Ive also heard it worth padding the floor underneath the pool because u will probably spend a lot of time on ur knees, so maybe so rugs or a cheap supermarket duvet or something??


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## Rebaby

ellie said:


> Hi everyone, :wave:
> Can i join in please?
> I'm nearly 26 weeks now and had been considering a homebirth all along, I now think we've pretty much decided to go for it (barring being totally blown away by the birth centre we plan to visit just to check it out!) I've even bought a birth pool off ebay :blush: I am trying not to be influenced by other people's views on how 'dangerous' it might be 'what if something happens, what if the cord is around their neck', etc etc, as I've been reading up on it and reading books on gentle childbirth and hypnobirthing ... Just wondering if anyone had any immediate tips for planning? I saw the mw yesterday (different to my usual one) she didnt even bring it up, so I presume that's a conversation for later on in pregnancy? Hmmm...

Hey hun! Does your midwife know you're considering homebirth? She might be able to give you some info on how it works in your area. I got a leaflet although it didn't tell me much i didn't already know tbh, so you might find it the same.

I brought it up as soon as i met the midwives in our new area, which was my 'booking in' appointment with them at 21+1, and it now says on my notes "Planning for homebirth" which i was quite excited about :thumbup: Although like i say, i have been a real worry wart about everything lately so trying not to talk myself out of it...:shrug:


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## lovedupgirl

Hi girls!

This thread is looking a bit dead these days!

So..........Bit of a rant coming!:growlmad:

Im getting sooo sick of my MW reminding me of all the reasons that I cant have a HB!

You'd think as a MW with 30+ years of experience including HUNDREDS of home deliveries she might be a bit more supportive and positive about it all!

She seems to JUMP on every potential problem with relish!For example the first time I mentioned it at about 20 weeks she basically said that for a homebirth you had to have a perfect textbook pregnancy with not one SINGLE problem no matter how small.

I had an iron count done at 28 weeks and my iron levels were 10.4 so I was prescribed liquid iron and informed that if my levels did not rise to 10.5 my HB was a no go, I mean seriously there lecturing me over 0.1mg WTF

In 2 of my previous pregnancies the medical staff at the hospital wrongly diagnosed my babies as "small for dates" so I was made an appointment to see a consultant at 34 weeks, all was fine fundal height measuring perfect at 34cm, the MW told me not to worry if the measurment dropped over the next few weeks as babies head engages.

Went to see my MW at week 35, bubs head 3/5 engaged and fundal height has dropped to 32cm so of course my MW says the hospital MW must have measured me wrong and I'll have to go back this thursday to be re-measured and have my iron levels checked to make sure they are 10.5 or over!:growlmad:

Also booked me for a presentation scan to check bubs position and reminded me that if the next measurments are not "right",bubs is laying "wrong,iron levels have not risen or I go into labour before 38 weeks I CANT have a hb!

I am sooo pissed off right now and totally see where they are going with this, I would not be surprised if on thursday Im measuring small for dates get booked for a growth scan and bullied into induction at 39 weeks only to produce ANOTHER healthy 6lb baby!

If you got this far CONGRATULATIONS:haha:


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## marley2580

Dig your heels in hun. Remember that you have to consent to all these tests etc and you have to consent to go into hospital. I'm not 'supposed' to have a HB as I've had a previous section, but I too the precaution of writing to a senior MW stating my intentions and that I expected to be supported in my HB. The MWs have been quite supportive (though I can tell that they don't all approve) even though my fundal height is currently 43! 

Make sure you know your rights, write to the head of MWs, educate yourself and get a good support network around you so you can resist their scaremongering.


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## mummypeanut

you poor girl!!! no one ever tells u what a fight its gona be to have a choice over what happens to your body and your baby....go prepared and give em all you've got ;)

good luck!!!


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## amandas

Hi lovedupgirl - what a nightmare for you that you're having such a fight! Let's hope when you go back on Thursday they get your measurements right. Stick to your guns though!

I also went back to see my MW on Friday, and I think i may be luckier than many on here, as even though I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes, she said that if i manage to control it ok with diet then there's no reason why i couldn't still plan for a HB!! I was so pleased when she said that as i had been really worried. Just another 2 months of NO sweet foods now!!! It's very tempting when i keep being offered them at work, but it'll be worth it in the end!


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## lovedupgirl

Thanks for your kind words girls, Im getting to the point now where if they turn round and tell me they wont book me for HB Im gonna end up saying " right fine dont book me but when I go into labour I will not be moving and as you are legally obliged to send me a MW theres not much you can do about it":growlmad:

Just to add ammunition to my anti-hospital attitude...

Here is an article about my local hospital!

News & Star News 
£5.5M PAYOUT FOR MISTAKES AT HOSPITALS


Last updated 13:26, Tuesday, 18 August 2009 

PATIENTS at north Cumbrias two hospitals were paid £5.5 million compensation in a year for medical blunders.


The figure  one of the highest in England and Wales  was paid out by North Cumbria Acute Hospitals NHS Trust, which runs the Cumberland Infirmary in Carlisle and the West Cumberland Hospital in Whitehaven.

The bulk of the cash  £5,309,342  was paid for clinical negligence claims, and £168,789 for non-clinical, such as damage or theft.

Of the clinical claim, more than £1.5 million related to maternity claims.

The figure, for 2007/08, is one of the highest in the UK with the trusts total pay-out ranking 21st highest out of a total of 244 trusts.

Charlene Steel is currently suing the Cumberland Infirmary after her son suffered a brain injury during a traumatic birth.

Fifteen-month-old Bobbie Steel was left with a painful head injury after being delivered with the help of a ventouse cup, which can be used to help pull out a baby stuck in the mothers birth canal.

The childs head was subjected to so much pressure that part of his scalp detached, his mother said.

Charlene, of Brookside, Raffles, was not surprised to learn that the health trust had one of the highest compensation pay-outs.

They were absolutely useless, she said. If I was having another baby Id go across to the north east. Id never go back there.

Charlene, 21, and her partner Robin Heslop, 24, believe their sons birth was so obviously difficult that doctors should have carried out a caesarean section. They have also called for a review of the use of ventouse cups at the hospitals maternity unit.

Experts have already told the couple that Bobbie suffered a brain injury linked to oxygen starvation. 

The NHS Litigation Authority, which investigates all cases, was unable to give details of individual complaints or payments, but said there had been 36 cases referred to them for clinical negligence during the year, and 20 non-clinical.

The trust with the highest compensation pay-out was Pennine Acute Hospitals NHS Trust, which coughed up nearly £10m. It was followed by Guys and St Thomas in London  £8.5m  and Imperial College with £8.2m.

Cumbria Partnership NHS Foundation Trust, the mental health trust which runs the Carleton Clinic, paid out £126,223 for clinical negligence during the same period, and £48,858 for non-clinical.

A spokesperson for North Cumbria Acute Hospitals NHS Trust declined to comment, saying all cases were dealt with by the litigation 

I AM NOT GOING BACK THERE :growlmad:


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## amandas

It doesn't exactly fill you with much faith does it?! Good luck with your battle! Keep us posted x


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## lovedupgirl

Got my MW appointment in 45 minutes I'll update you all when Im back!:thumbup:


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## lovedupgirl

So I had my MW appointment, she re-measured my bump and it must have been OK as she didnt mention there being a problem, she did however forget to write the measurment in my notes or plot it on my customized growth chart:dohh:

I had a full blood count taken but wont know the results until next week, hopefully my iron levels will be 10.5 or above or I'll have ANOTHER battle on my hands!

I then have my presentation scan wednesday so presuming that bubs in a an OK position and my iron levels are fine my HB pack will be dropped off next weekend and the community MWs will go on call for me from the 30th:happydance:

Please keep EVERTHING crossed for me girls!Iv'e had to overcome so much negativity and potential problems throughout this pregnancy and now Im on the last hurdle Im sooo nervous that somethings going to come up at the last minute!Please send me positive thoughts and lots of lucky fairy dust!


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## mummypeanut

fingers and toes crossed!!!!!!! good luck


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## ellie

Rebaby said:


> Hey hun! Does your midwife know you're considering homebirth? She might be able to give you some info on how it works in your area. I got a leaflet although it didn't tell me much i didn't already know tbh, so you might find it the same.
> 
> I brought it up as soon as i met the midwives in our new area, which was my 'booking in' appointment with them at 21+1, and it now says on my notes "Planning for homebirth" which i was quite excited about :thumbup: Although like i say, i have been a real worry wart about everything lately so trying not to talk myself out of it...:shrug:

Heya, it was mentioned at my booking appointment back at 9 weeks (back in the mists of time!), think she brought it up in fact. So it is on my green notes, I guess I will bring it up again when I see her next at 28 weeks. My birth pool arrived - too nervous to actually open the box though! And OH reckons he's getting in it!  Don't talk yourself out of it! it'll be fab ...

lovedupgirl so sorry to hear about all the trouble ... I thought policies were that trusts and midwives HAD to be supportive and by no means do you have to have a 'perfect pregnancy', just 'low risk'? (which surely you are?) Really hope you can get what you want with minimal stress (is she trying ot stress you so your bp will go up and she will insist they have to admit you???) I thought they wanted the beds/space in hospitals anyway so surely you're doing them a favour ....


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## lovedupgirl

OMG!Just a completely pointless post to say..........

I am full term on monday:happydance::happydance::happydance:

Only one small problem though...I cant go into labour until 38 weeks or onwards as that is the cut off point for a HB here so for once Im hoping bubs WONT put in an early appearance:haha:

I cant believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone!it started to drag when I had about 10 weeks left but now its flying by again, its scary, one minute Im thinking I have 3 WHOLE more weeks and cant wait any longer and the next Im panicking thinking that in 3 short weeks Im going to be a mum(for the 4th time!)


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## mummypeanut

o0o im so excited for u. keep us updated and try not to worry too much - ive seen loadsa of my freinds going thru the 'im just not ready for this baby' worry- and whaddya know....when the baby comes everythings fine! anything u dont have u can just buy when u realise u need it anyway. xxxx


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## duffers

Hello ladies, what a fab thread. Can I join in?? I've been reading everyones stories and hope that everyone is well and are able to have the homebirth they want.
A bit about me...This will be our first bubs and we've planned a homebirth since it was first suggested by the midwife at our booking appt. DH needed a bit of reassuring about safety etc at first but we're bith really excited now. Have bought birth pool and been doing hypnobirthing techniques.
Any more preparation tips would be much appreciated.


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## mummypeanut

duffers said:


> Hello ladies, what a fab thread. Can I join in?? I've been reading everyones stories and hope that everyone is well and are able to have the homebirth they want.
> A bit about me...This will be our first bubs and we've planned a homebirth since it was first suggested by the midwife at our booking appt. DH needed a bit of reassuring about safety etc at first but we're bith really excited now. Have bought birth pool and been doing hypnobirthing techniques.
> Any more preparation tips would be much appreciated.

Heya :o) Welcome along!

How is the hypno birthing going for you? My miodwife suggested it but i havent looked into it yet. Id be interested to know how your learning (book, CD, teacher?) and what you think about it? 

Not long now eh :happydance: xx


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## amandas

Hi duffers - welcome to the HB thread! We're also planning a home/water/hypnobirth! I haven't got any tips though - feeling as though it's about time i started getting organised! Saying that, we're borrowing a birthing pool and we picked it up today, so i guess that's the first step!

Mummypeanut - we've gone for hypnobirthing classes, which inlcudes a CD, book and DVD. We found our local practitioner on the hypnobirthing website. We've finished all our classes now, although she's going to come back at 37 weeks just for a refresher and to answer questions etc. We have found it really good and i couldn't imagine giving birth without it! (although this is our first so I'll only be able to really comment afterwards!!)


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## mummypeanut

amandas said:


> Hi duffers - welcome to the HB thread! We're also planning a home/water/hypnobirth! I haven't got any tips though - feeling as though it's about time i started getting organised! Saying that, we're borrowing a birthing pool and we picked it up today, so i guess that's the first step!
> 
> Mummypeanut - we've gone for hypnobirthing classes, which inlcudes a CD, book and DVD. We found our local practitioner on the hypnobirthing website. We've finished all our classes now, although she's going to come back at 37 weeks just for a refresher and to answer questions etc. We have found it really good and i couldn't imagine giving birth without it! (although this is our first so I'll only be able to really comment afterwards!!)

sounds good! what was the website you looked at?


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## amandas

mummypeanut said:


> amandas said:
> 
> 
> Hi duffers - welcome to the HB thread! We're also planning a home/water/hypnobirth! I haven't got any tips though - feeling as though it's about time i started getting organised! Saying that, we're borrowing a birthing pool and we picked it up today, so i guess that's the first step!
> 
> Mummypeanut - we've gone for hypnobirthing classes, which inlcudes a CD, book and DVD. We found our local practitioner on the hypnobirthing website. We've finished all our classes now, although she's going to come back at 37 weeks just for a refresher and to answer questions etc. We have found it really good and i couldn't imagine giving birth without it! (although this is our first so I'll only be able to really comment afterwards!!)
> 
> sounds good! what was the website you looked at?Click to expand...


The website is:

https://www.hypnobirthing.co.uk/

It tells you all about hypnobirthing and you can look up classes in your area.


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## marley2580

Well I started loosing my plug yesterday which was a surprise, I wasn't expecting anything to start happening next week lol. Last time I lost my plug I went into labour within 48 hours! Head's still high and free, so I'm going to be bouncing on my ball all day lol.


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## Rebaby

marley2580 said:


> Well I started loosing my plug yesterday which was a surprise, I wasn't expecting anything to start happening next week lol. Last time I lost my plug I went into labour within 48 hours! Head's still high and free, so I'm going to be bouncing on my ball all day lol.

Ooooh happy bouncing! :happydance:


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## eswift

Please can I join you ladies too...

After a recent visit to the local hopital and their reduced services etc; been told to consider a home birth; as it's just as far from my house to the other hospital (where they'd send you if there's any difficulties) They're sending you from one to the other by ambulance due to lack of dr's... There's hell on within the area about it all...

But as my last labour was so quick (36mins), they're trying to ease not only my anxiety about making it to the hospital and as it's the same distance to the other hospital the risk isn't any higher from there or home, I suppose it'd ease their workload too..

I've spoken to mw about a home birthing kit, she's going to talk to me when I'm there next. (at 34 weeks) I'll be honest it wasn't something I was considering but, as my concerns have grown and the house is coming together (Had the builders in from feb till about 6 weeks ago ish) I can't help thinking that actually it's not a bad idea...

I've a tens machine, which was all I used with DS; I've read a hypnobirthing book (found it fantastically reassuring), I've a birthing ball already from when I was loosing weight, We'll also have plenty of space (as the build went over budget due to errors in the plan from Architect) we've a kitchen/dining area which will have a lino floor and no furniture in; (as until we get some money back from the Architect we can't afford the kitchen)... 

So the idea is starting to appeal more to myself and OH as it would get rid of the rush aspect to and from hospital unless it's really is needed...

Any advice would be much appreciated... Wondering about walking to the local library to see if I can find a little more info/ideas...


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## amandas

marley2580 said:


> Well I started loosing my plug yesterday which was a surprise, I wasn't expecting anything to start happening next week lol. Last time I lost my plug I went into labour within 48 hours! Head's still high and free, so I'm going to be bouncing on my ball all day lol.

Good luck!!!!! How exciting - keep us posted!

Hi Eswift - welcome to the thread! I have found this website quite useful:
https://www.homebirth.org.uk/
We are really hoping for a homebirth as HBs tend to be more relaxed as it's a more natural environment. You also get to choose where to be, what music you want, what food to eat, etc! We've also been told by our MW that when they're in your home, it's your territory (unlike the hospital which is theirs) and so they're more open for your preferences - eg we were told that in the hospital if you want a waterbirth then the fathers aren't allowed in the pool, but if you have a home water birth then it's your choice and not theirs (having said that my DH has absolutely NO intention of joining me in the pool! lol)

Feel free to message any questions and hopefully someone on here will be able to answer!


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## eswift

lol ... Guess he's not into having a paddle then???

Thanks for the link... I'll check it out...


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## lindypops

lovedupgirl - i hope you haven't gone into labour yet lol!

It just shows how arbitrary ha's are though - in norfolk the cut-off is 37 weeks i.e. full term - if you need to , fight your corner - though i hope you don't need to!


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## lovedupgirl

Im still here Lindypops:winkwink:
Nice to see you in this thread again hun, how is your little lady?

So an update.

Blood results came back and my iron levels are now 10.9:happydance:

As you know I had a presentation scan booked for yesterday at 10:20am, I got an appointment card through the door on tuesday saying it had been changed to today at 1:30pm, so I went along to the hospital only for them to inform me that they had no knowledge of the appointment being sent and I should have been there yesterday!So Iv'e got go back over at 3:30pm to have it done on maternity ward!BLOODY HOSPITAL:growlmad::wacko:

So as long as all is well with the scan I'll have my HB pack by the weekend:thumbup:
My MW did warn me that if they are all at other births when I go into labour I'll have to go into the hospital, little do they know Im not moving:haha:

I'll update as soon as Im back from my scan.


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## amandas

eswift said:


> lol ... Guess he's not into having a paddle then???
> 
> Thanks for the link... I'll check it out...

Ha ha - definitely not! Not after we watched the waterbirth video at the hospital and he saw the MW scoop a poo out with a little net!! :rofl:

Any news from Marley??? Hope all's going well. :hugs:

Lovedupgirl - good luck at your scan today. Let us know how you got on. Hope you get your HB pack!


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## lovedupgirl

Just a quick update girls.

Had my scan, all is fine bubs is head down and nicely engaged so my MW will drop off my HB pack and go on call for me from monday:thumbup::happydance:

I am sooo happy that I have finally got all the tests, scans etc out of the way as I have been on pins for weeks hoping all is OK.
Just hope I dont have a battle over staffing issues when I do go into labour, but all looks good anyway glad to finally be on track for my HB!:happydance:


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## Rebaby

So glad everything went well and is looking good for your homebirth :hugs:

I have a little bit of news, which is that i will sadly be leaving you lovely ladies :cry: After an eventful weekend last week which involved a two night stay in hospital for me after pain and bleeding we had the news yesterday that the high vaginal swab they took during my examination on saturday has tested positive for group b strep.

I know that everyone feels differently about this as a subject, but we've decided to go with the advice to have the IV antibiotics during labour, and therefore labour and deliver in hospital rather than at home.

I know i could still battle for my home birth and that you don't HAVE to accept the antibiotics, and that the chances are i could still have a perfectly healthy baby at the end of it all, but i'm a neonatal nurse, and i've looked after babies with group b strep infection after birth, and with all the facts at our disposable OH and i just had to make the decision that felt right for us, which is to abandon our home birth plans this time, and start trying to plan for a hospital birth that we can be happy with.

It's certainly going to take some getting used to, as despite my 'wobbles' along the way, home birth is something i have wanted for a long time, prior to even getting pregnant, and we hadn't considered anything else really, so we now have A LOT to think about! :wacko:

I would still consider a homebirth in the future, and OH is keen that we could plan for one again next time too, all being well. We both just feel that we want it to be under the right circumstances, and with everything that has happened this past week this doesn't feel like the right time for us.

I will still keep popping on to see how you ladies are getting on, but if i am a bit quiet from now on i hope you'll understand why.

Thanks for all the invaluable info and support these past few months :hugs:


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## lovedupgirl

Rebaby: sorry to hear you tested positive hun, as a neonatal nurse you know how serious strep B is if not treated,you are totally doing the right thing hun and I hope you will still pop in and catch up with us all!

:hugs:


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## lovedupgirl

:happydance::happydance::happydance:

My homebirth pack has FINALLY been delivered!:thumbup:

My MW came this morning and dropped off all my paper work,all the equipment I'll be needing:Maternity pads, incontenence pads medical box for placenta etc and also SIX small cylinder of gas and air!At least I know I'll have enough LOL!

You should have seen my OHs face when he saw the amount of incontenence pads and maternity pads my MW had brought, he went white as a sheet and said "I thought you said it wasnt that messy":haha:

And another bit of good news:I am the ONLY homebirth that is booked for the whole of september!The other 2 ladies who were having homebirths have already delivered so I shouldnt have a problem with staffing issues either:happydance:


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## Rebaby

Aww that's fantastic news! :happydance: I'm so pleased for you!


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## amandas

Hi Rebaby - sorry to hear your news but at least you have found out so that your baby can have the antibiotics. Although I really want a HB I would do exactly the same as you if i found out i had group B strep. They don't test for it in my hospital so I'm going to buy the kit to test myself. It can be so serious so you're definitely doing the right thing. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and keep us posted how you're getting on!

Hi Lovedupgirl - that's great news! I had no idea that the HB pack included so much stuff - I'll have to ask my MW if i get that lot too!!! Not long to go now and you've reached full term so fingers crossed you get the HB that you've been planning!


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## lovedupgirl

I didnt know it included that much either,when I had a HB planned with my son all they dropped off was G&A no paperwork or anything which makes me think they had no intention of giving me a HB anyway:growlmad:

This time I have a huge file of paperwork which includes:

Postnatal notes for me
Labour notes
baby health record
sealed letters to hospital 
Ambulance control sheets

I also have a massive bag of hospital maternity sanitary pads(they are like nappies:haha:), incontenence mats,sharps box, medical box for placenta.
A bag which has all the pipes in for the G&A,6 cylinders of G&A and a cylinder of oxygen.

my MW will also bring her own stuff including the resusatation(SP?)equipment when I am in labour.

I had no idea that I needed soo much stuff:shrug:

The chances of me getting my own MW are looking slim as she is going away on holiday on saturday, would have been nice to have her but never mind.


----------



## lovedupgirl

So.......

We have hit a hurdle!

My normal MW is away on holiday for 9 days and I saw a new MW at the clinic, she did my fundal height measurment and put it at 34cm, my nrmal MW has been happy with growth, she knows I have small but healthy babies and doesnt have an issue with it, this new MW has now said that Im measuring small and if I have not grown by nexy week she will have to send me for a growth scan:growlmad:
She basically said that i I want a HB I will have to deliver before next thursday,no pressure eh!


----------



## amandas

Hi Lovedupgirl

Having thought it was all going so well....! Typical! That's so annoying though, that a different MW has told you different info. Why does she want you to have delivered by next Thursday? Surely if they're worried the baby may be small they'll want it to stay inside for as long as poss? You'll just have to stand your ground and say that you've discussed it all with your own MW.

I'm seeing a diff MW too for the next 4 weeks as my MW is going to be on hol. I hope she doesn't have different opinions on it all too, as my MW has been very supportive of a HB.

Oh well, fingers crossed for us both!!!


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## lovedupgirl

Thats what I dont understand hun, surely as long as the placenta is still doing its job then a small baby is better off staying in as long as possibly, sadly the medical staff dont share our opinion, my 2 previous inductions are proof of that.

The problem is that they base babies birthweight on whats normal for miss average and dont take into account the fact that we are not all the same, Im only 5 ft 2 and usually 8 1/2 stone my babies are not going to be huge, they are going to be the right size for ME.

Im honestly getting to the stage now that I just want to stay home and refuse to go into hospital.

I have everything crossed for both of us!


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## amandas

It doesn't make sense, does it! Of course if you're 5'2 and 8 1/2 stone then you're likely to have a smaller baby - it just seems common sense to me!! How many children do you have already, and how much did they weigh? Were you induced early with them then?


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## lovedupgirl

amandas said:


> It doesn't make sense, does it! Of course if you're 5'2 and 8 1/2 stone then you're likely to have a smaller baby - it just seems common sense to me!! How many children do you have already, and how much did they weigh? Were you induced early with them then?

I have 2 daughters and a son.
my son was 7lb 12oz,my girls were 6lb 7 and 5lb 13 both completely healthy.

I was induced the day before my due date with dd 1 and at 39 weeks with dd 2, my last induction was a total nightmare!stuck on a drip,made to stay flat on my back with a fetal monitor on and not even allowed to get off the bed,they put the drip in a 5:30pm and at 7:25pm I said I was ready to push, they said I was nowhere near and they would check me in 3-4 hours, just as the MW was about to leave the room my dd head was crowning!STUPID HOSPITAL:growlmad:


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## amandas

That's crazy! I don't understand why they won't wait to let your LO come out in her own time!!! I can understand why they induce if you're getting near to 42 weeks due to the risks of the placenta breaking down, but early doesn;t make sense to me! It's not as if it's your first either, you have been through this before 3 times so know what your body is doing! Good luck and keep us posted! x


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## MsEmski

Sorry to butt in! Is your next antenatal appointment just a routine one? I'd be tempted to phone and say you can't make it- especially if your regular MW has no problems/worries about bump's size- and ask to rearrange.

Hope it all works out!


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## lovedupgirl

MsEmski said:


> Sorry to butt in! Is your next antenatal appointment just a routine one? I'd be tempted to phone and say you can't make it- especially if your regular MW has no problems/worries about bump's size- and ask to rearrange.
> 
> Hope it all works out!

I hadnt thought of that!:dohh:

Thing is though they like to see you every week at this point and even when my MW gets back theres no guarntee that it will be her doing the clinic as we have shared care here, a group of 3 MWs covers this area and you never know whos doing the clinic till you get there so I could cancel and re- arrange only to find out the same MW is doing the clinic that day.


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## Anababe

Hi :hi:

Hope its ok me joining you ladies :) Ive got the midwife coming on monday to do the risk assessment and paperwork for my homebirth next month :happydance:

Hopefully everything will be ok, ive had a good pregnancy and my first birth was fine so shouldnt be any problems! My last iron count was only 10.0 though so i have to get that up or i cant have one apparently :( shouldnt be too difficult im sure! Got more blood tests in a couple of week to see if its any better

One of the midwives at our clinic lives in my street aswel.. hopefully she'll be the one i get, shes so lovely! :D:D

xx


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## mummypeanut

Anababe said:


> Hi :hi:
> 
> Hope its ok me joining you ladies :) Ive got the midwife coming on monday to do the risk assessment and paperwork for my homebirth next month :happydance:
> 
> Hopefully everything will be ok, ive had a good pregnancy and my first birth was fine so shouldnt be any problems! My last iron count was only 10.0 though so i have to get that up or i cant have one apparently :( shouldnt be too difficult im sure! Got more blood tests in a couple of week to see if its any better
> 
> One of the midwives at our clinic lives in my street aswel.. hopefully she'll be the one i get, shes so lovely! :D:D
> 
> xx

Sounds brilliant. Good luck with the Iron levels but hopefully all will be fine and you can go ahead with your plans. Take care until then!


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## lovedupgirl

Hi girls:hi:

How is everyone?

Im OK as I can be, still pregnant, still worried about my MW appointment on thursday!

I was kinda hoping I'd have gone into labour before the appointment, then I would get my HB, no appointment no scans= no problem!

Iv'e been trying natural methods of induction but no luck yet!

Come on baby time is running out!


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## duffers

Hello ladies.
I'm a planed homebirth too but baby still not engaged (this is my first) so think that I'm gonna go overdue. I can see myself having to hold my ground over certain things (declining induction, requesting monitering instead etc). Trying to trust my body but it's a bit nerve wracking.


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## angelae36

I've just come back from my 32 week appointment. Apparently my home birth form has been sent off.
However I am going to have to speak to the senior midwife so that she can talk me out of it because of my bmi.

My midwife has decided today that I am going to have a big baby - before any measurements were taken (incidentally the measurements were fine).
She told me that my last baby 8lb was large.

I have said time and again that if there are any problems detected before he is born I will transfer to hospital, but I won't be talked out of a homebirth just because I am overweight and it has been decided I will definately get all the problems that go with it.
Watch this space!!


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## Rebaby

angelae36 said:


> She told me that my last baby 8lb was large.

Nonsense, that's perfectly average! Sounds like they're just trying to come up with excuses :growlmad: I hope everything works out ok for you :hugs:


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## Rebaby

lovedupgirl said:


> Im OK as I can be, still pregnant, still worried about my MW appointment on thursday!!

Not sure what time your appointment is but hope it's going well :thumbup:


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## angelae36

Rebaby said:


> Nonsense, that's perfectly average! Sounds like they're just trying to come up with excuses :growlmad: I hope everything works out ok for you :hugs:

I know they are! (my daughter was also 55cm long when born which I understand is long) Unfortunately for them I am very stubborn so won't be talked out of it unless there is a clear and definate threat to either me or the baby!

I look forward to meeting the supervising midwife!!


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## lovedupgirl

Hello girls!

So let me catch up here.

Anababe: Im sure your iron levels will be fine hun:hugs: even if they are still a bit low homebirth.org has reaserch to show that only iron levels that are dangerously low(9.0) or under could stop you having a HB, it must be lovely living in the same stret as your MW FX you get her.

Duffers:Hi and welcome to the HB thread, even if you do go overdue it is totally your right to refuse induction, as long as placenta function is fine you are OK to go a bit longer(my OH was 4 weeks late,my MIL must of been climbing the walls!)

Rebaby: the app was for fundal height measurments as they thought bubs was small and wanted to refer me for a growth scan but more about that in a mo!

angelae36: Your BMI does not affect your right for a HB, 8lbs is a lovely weight and Im sure you will stand your ground with the senior MW.

And now on to me...

Had my appointment,fundal height has grown by 2cm in a week!no growth scans all fine for HB and a sweep booked for the 21st if I go overdue!

:thumbup::happydance::dance::yipee::headspin::wohoo::loopy:


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## Rebaby

Wahoo, fantastic news!!!! :happydance:


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## Anababe

Lovedupgirl - So glad everything went ok and you can have your HB! Hopefully you wont go over and need a sweep :thumbup:

Duffers - Aww dont worry about it hun. Ill be refusing induction aswel if i end up going over, providing everythig is ok of course!

My forms have been sent off now so i just need to get the stuff needed for the birth and im all sorted :D only 5 weeks to go, getting excited now :D

xx


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## oldermummy

Hi all, I had my booking in appointment on Tuesday and before I even had a change to say I would be having a home birth (all being well) the mw said that before she discusses my options she has to point out that the hospital policy had changed that week with regard to bmi and that they have reduced the upper limit to 30 for women wanting a home birth, I told her they could say what they liked that I would be still planning to have the birth I want!! She said she totally agreed with me and that she thought the change ridiculous the 50% of her ladies wanting home births had a bmi above 30!!! She said they are supposed to be encouraging more home births but the policies seem to try and make that harder!!! So she is more than happy for me to plan for one!!

Also I would like to say the my cousin who is a gp had her little girl 2 days ago, she had a lovely home birth, I'm so jealous!!! Just hope I manage one this time!!!


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## mummypeanut

oldermummy said:


> Hi all, I had my booking in appointment on Tuesday and before I even had a change to say I would be having a home birth (all being well) the mw said that before she discusses my options she has to point out that the hospital policy had changed that week with regard to bmi and that they have reduced the upper limit to 30 for women wanting a home birth, I told her they could say what they liked that I would be still planning to have the birth I want!! She said she totally agreed with me and that she thought the change ridiculous the 50% of her ladies wanting home births had a bmi above 30!!! She said they are supposed to be encouraging more home births but the policies seem to try and make that harder!!! So she is more than happy for me to plan for one!!
> 
> Also I would like to say the my cousin who is a gp had her little girl 2 days ago, she had a lovely home birth, I'm so jealous!!! Just hope I manage one this time!!!

good luck i hope it all works out for you. I so so sooooo want a home birth but im just worried about hoping for it too much and then being dissapointed if it doesnt happen. 

you could always consider using a doula or an independant midwife if the NHS route puts too many barriers in your way. 

All very exciting!!


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## lovedupgirl

OMG!I am sooo ready for my baby to be born now 2 days left!
false labour on/off for the past few days, plug has gone, had my clear out(TMI I know!)
I am knackered and just sick of waiting for something to happen!:dohh:


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## Anababe

Awww hope it happens for you soon hun! Not long to wait now :D xx


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## amandas

Any news lovedupgirl?? Hope you're doing ok!

Hi Anababe, welcome to the HB thread! It'd be great if you get your local MW - and she can just pop down the road! Good lcuk with your iron levels.

Hi Duffers -good luck with fighting for your HB! I've got GD and they've told me they won't let me go over 40 weeks so will also have a fight on if i choose not to be induced and to stay at home! But you're right, your baby and body know what to do! Keep us posted!

Hi Angelae36 - keeping my fingers crossed for you! Stand your ground!!

Hi Oldermummy - it's handy your MW is on your side. Hopefully you won't have any probs booking a HB!


I saw my MW (well the stand in cos mine's on hol) on Friday and have booked in for my homebirth talk at my next appt in 2 weeks. Does anyone know if you're still allowed a HB if they induce you? I'm going to get to 37 weeks and then start all natural methods to induce labour that i can find!!! Hope everyone's well and had a good weekend!


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## mummypeanut

sending you lots of postive child birth vibes loved up!!! Good luck xx


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## angelae36

amandas said:


> Hi Angelae36 - keeping my fingers crossed for you! Stand your ground!!

Thanks Amandas, my feet are well and truly cememted to the floor - barring real and evident problems!


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## marley2580

amandas said:


> Does anyone know if you're still allowed a HB if they induce you?

You cannot have a HB if you are induced as being induced significantly increases the risks to both you and the baby


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## lovedupgirl

Well ladies its D day and no signs:growlmad::haha:

Im soo impatient and cant stand waiting for anything, unfortunately bubs has the final say on when she is born so I'll just have to keep everything crossed(apart from my legs!)and hope she puts in an apperance soon.


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## amandas

Hope you're bearing up lovedupgirl and lookinf forward to you coming back and telling us all about your HB! Hope all goes well! Keep us posted!


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## lovedupgirl

STILL NO BABY:growlmad:

Im soo tired now,looking after 3 LOs 6 and under, doing 3 school runs 5 times a week, keeping the house clean not to mention the fact I am doing it all on very little sleep as Im either up for the loo every half hour or I cant get comfortable!

COME ON PRINCESS WE ARE ALL MORE THAN READY FOR YOU!!!


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## Anababe

Aww lovedupgirl.. its awful to see your due date come and go isnt it! Hope LO arrives soon for you :hugs:

xx


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## mummypeanut

fingers crossed things kick off soon!!! xx


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## Anababe

Hows things today lovedupgirl? anything happening yet? xx


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## Rebaby

Hope she doesn't keep you waiting long hun.


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## helz81

Hi, I posted on here a while ago but then kinda forgot the thread was here :dohh: :blush:
I have appointment with midwife at 36 weeks to disscuss my HB plans. I have low iron too (10.5) and have been on tablets to try correct this since 30weeks so hopefully when I have another FBC done at next appointment my levels will have risen up abit,but my midwife said even if they didn't rise,there not low enough to stop me having a HB.
I have my birth pool..won it on ebay for £5!!! :happydance: it hasn't been used for labour apparantly,only a trial run of filling it up so I will need to buy a new liner but what a bargain!!!
I have a horrible feeling I will end up going well over my due date and end up being induced in hospital :nope: Gosh I really really hope not as I have this fantasy of being in labour,kids upstairs in bed,me all relaxed in my pool,low lighting, tv on...think positive think positive!!


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## Anababe

Hiya Helz :)

Yeah im the same, worried about going over. I really didnt cope well in hospital last time so want to be relaxed at home!

My MW told me 10.5 is the cut off kinda thing. Thats what i need to get to, to have my HB, im only 10.0 at the min. Well i was a few weeks ago, have my FBC on Tue so FX its gone up, to atleast 10.5!!

36weeks tomorrow! its getting close now, im excited to meet him but getting nervous about the labour lol stil not got anything ready, im always on the last min for everything :rofl:

Is anyone packing a hospital bag 'just incase'? i dunno whether to or not :shrug:

xx


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## angelae36

Helz81 and Anababe.
Have you looked at this website? https://www.homebirth.org.uk/
If you click on the "you can't have a homebirth because" tab at the left hand side it has a list of all the excuses that the NHS will come out with.
It has an article on low HB counts and says (although I haven't looked into all of it) that a low HB count is not really a reason to be refused a homebirth.

Just a thought....


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## helz81

I'm packing a bag 'just incase' you just never know whats gonna happen so it's best to be prepared for transfer I think.

Thanks for that link, looks interesting,....


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## amandas

Lovedupgirl - haven't seen you on here for a day or so, so hoping that means things have moved for you :hugs:

Hi Helz81 and Anababe - I don't think I've even had my iron levels checked? how do they do this - is it via blood tests? We're all due really close together! I wonder who'll have their LO first?! I'm also worried that they're going to want to induce me. Because I have GD, I've been told that they won't let me go past 40 weeks and I've been convinced all along that I'd go over. So come 37 weeks, I'll be trying every old wives tale i can find to try to induce labour naturally!!! I'm packing a hospital bag too, just in case. Assuming all goes according to plan and I'm at home, the only time I'd be going to the hospital would be in an emergency and I don't want DH running around the house trying to pack a bag for me in a panic - who knows what I'd find in it the other end!!!

Angelae36 - thanks for the link, it makes interesting reading!


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## Anababe

Lovedupgirl - Hope something has happened for you hun :hugs:

Amandas - Yeah they do a full blood count at around 28weeks. Did you have a blood test then? Thats when it showed up on mine, well i had it late at 30weeks i kept forgetting to book my antenatal lol Ill be the same.. ive got the date on my calender.. Sept 27th im 37 weeks! :rofl: ill be trying everything i can from then, i dont want to go over! im gonna get my bag ready soon just incase, like you say i dont want to have to get my dad (hes my birth partner as im on my own lol :) ) running around my house looking for stuff.. :rofl: 

not long to go now! Im so excited to see what he looks like.. not looking forward to labour again though, the closer i get the more i remember that pain :rofl: whoever said you forget after giving birth.. lied!! haha i remember it all and im so scared, just hoping being at home this time will be more relaxing and ill cope better.. FX!

xx


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## angelae36

Hope everyone is well!
Feeling a bit fed up today.
I have a high BMI and all they way through my pregnancy (I'm 34 weeks now) my BP has been naughty.
It's not been way too high, the highest was a stressful first appointment which was 140/90.
Since then it's settled around 130/80 which seems ok for me and everyone else is ok with it around that.
I am not at my happiest in medical settings as I know my bp is naughty now and I usually try and avoid medical places as much as possible anyway!

Today I had to see the consultant (or not as the case may be!) and the midwife took the first bp with the small cuff and measured 150/90. I had kittens, she wasn't amused.
She went a fetched the larger cuff grumbling about how it wouldn't make much difference as she had managed to fasten the other round my arm. I was feeling great by that point - not!
Anyway, next measurement was 130/90 so an improvement but not ideal.

At the end my bp was taken again and the Dr. was quite happy and I was told it was normal at 128/78.

I am now though thinking this is yet another argument they can use for me not to have the baby at home.
While I will still insist on a home birth (barring major problems), I am tired and feeling quite ground down but all the arguing and fighting I am having to do.
If I didn't I'm sure my bp would have been fine all along it just seems every appointment I have to have a lecture about why it's a bad idea before my bp is taken.

Oh and to top it all off I have to have another scan. Baby measurements which I know can be way off are measuring at 40 weeks!!! Another string to their bow if he turns out to be big!!!

Anyway, thanks for reading if you've got this far, I feel better now for the moan!!


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## Anababe

Aw hun sorry your not having the best of times. Not long to go now! :hugs:

Apart from major problems I dont think they can actually stop you having a home birth, so I know its stressful but just stick to how you feel and theres not much they can do only moan at you about it.

I have midwife appt sunday and she's doing another blood count. She says I has to be up to 10.5 but it doesn't matter to me if its not really, they'll have to come up with a good reason why before they think they are getting me in that hospital! :rofl: 

Hope everyone is well!

xxx


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## amandas

I was wondering what had happened to lovedupgirl and found her birth story, so thought I'd post a link on here in case anyone else was wondering!

https://www.babyandbump.com/birth-a...es/191887-scarletts-homebirth-17-09-09-a.html


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## mummypeanut

amandas said:


> I was wondering what had happened to lovedupgirl and found her birth story, so thought I'd post a link on here in case anyone else was wondering!
> 
> https://www.babyandbump.com/birth-a...es/191887-scarletts-homebirth-17-09-09-a.html

I saw that too - im so glad to see a home birth that worked out :)


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## Wombat

Hi girls!!

I have been following the thread for quite some time and made few posts in the beginning but never really "joined" till today!

Was paranoid that I won't be able to get it (had previous c-section). And today, finally midwife brought home birth kit and did risk assesment and it seems so so real!

I can't wait to have my baby at home!:happydance:


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## Anababe

Hi Wombat, hope everything goes ok with your homebirth :happydance:

I did just post on your thread in third tri about the pack.. :)

Well i had my iron levels re taken last week and its up to 10.4 :D although i need it to get to 10.5 and midwife said even with just a .1 under i wont be allowed it!! Im not having another blood test til thursday so if i go into labour before then ill have to go into hospital :cry: 

Ive been really busy last couple days and ive completely forgotton about my iron tablets, ive missed 3 days.. so 6 tablets :dohh: i hope it doesnt make my levels drop now. 

I like to think ill stand my ground but i know once labour starts ill panic and wont want to argue so end up going in :(

FX for my blood test Thursday!

xx


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## amandas

Hi Wombat - welcome to the thread! You're due the day before me!!! Fingers crossed we both get our HBs!

Anababe - my fingers are crossed you get your iron levels up! Keep us posted!!


Well, i was intially on a high this morning then it went downhill this afternoon! Had a scan this morning and was told that the baby currently weighs 6 lb 13 and its waist is spot on average, which is great news (I have GD). But then saw the consultant this afternoon who has said regardless of my measurements they will still want to induce me at 40 weeks. :sad2: I really really really dont want to be induced, particulalry because it'll mean that i won't get a HB. :cry: My due date is a Friday so they want to induce me on the Thursday becuase they're short staffed at the weekend!!!! So much for individual, needs led care! I suggested maybe waiting til the Monday but he said it wouldn't be good practice! :growlmad:

So the upshot is, I have 17 days to get my baby out naturally!!!!!! I will try every old wives tale going!


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## Wombat

Anababe - it is strange with those iron levels... I got my home birth pack (it is closed so I didn't manage to have a look, but it look BIG) before my iron came back... Seems here mw doesn't seem to bother too much about it...

Amandas - don't forget that you have the last say. If you don't want to be induced at 40 weeks - you don't really have to (unless baby is in distress or you are).
But hopefully you will get that baby out before then :hugs:


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## amandas

Thanks Wombat, I know that's true but i just don't want to have to fight them! I'm seeing my MW on Friday who's been v supportive so will have a chat with her and see what she says. even if i just refuse to be induced until the Monday that will give me 4 extra days for the baby to come on its own. And i can't see how that can be any more risky? Our EDDs are all so random anyway, only 5% or something of babies are born then so it's not exactly set in stone! I'll keep you posted!


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## lovedupgirl

Hi girls,hope evryone is well.

I know it seems I have just about disappeared from this thread but I am just sooo busy right now,trying to get into some kind of routine.

Im still trying to pop in every now and again to see how you are all getting on,Amandas thanks for posting the link to my birth story hun :hugs:


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## amandas

Hi Lovedupgirl - no worries! It must all be very hectic! Glad that's everything's ok. Take care.


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## mummypeanut

So glad things went well for you!!

I hope youre enjoying your new little bundle.


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## angelae36

I had my growth scan yesterday and I'm pleased to say she is measuring just above the 50 percentile so not the elephant that the Dr. and midwife were worried about.
When I saw the registrar she seemed more concerned about changing my dates by 4 days based on my first scan (why with just over 3 weeks to go I do not know) and discussing me with the student in the room rather than why I was there and talking to me - she didn't even know why I was there.

My BP was pretty average for me too which was good.
So got home and had a phone call from the head of midwifery. I was expecting this call but it should have been weeks ago.
Anyway I was told because of my BMI and (high) BP I am unsuitable for homebirth and this had been confirmed by a consultant I have seen for all of 30 seconds and yesterdays registrar.

She went on to try and tell/scare me about the risks.
1. "You're having a big baby" She said. Errmm no, the scan today has confirmed she's average.

2. "Your appointment today was to discuss homebirth" errrrm no, it was for the growth scan. The only mention of homebirth was the registrar saying "oh you want a home birth"

3. Your baby might get her shoulders stuck. True, however nothing is done differently at home as it is in hospital.
She said yes but you'd have access to theatres at hospital to which my answer was even if I was in hospital it takes time to set up a theatre so that can be done if the need arises while I am transferring in.
Anyway in the cases of shoulder dystocia the babies aren't usually shoved back up!!!

The end of the call was along the lines of me being asked if I still wanted a homebirth - which I do.
So I've been booked in. I have finally "won the fight" as it were and feel I can finally relax and enjoy what is left of my pregnancy.
Just wanted to thank everyone on here for all the support they have given me over the weeks!


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## Wombat

Well done Angelae36!:hugs: Congratulations to you :)


Well, I am feeling like a complete shit! I am 38 weeks pregnant and got the most stinking cold ever! Can you believe my luck?:cry: I want the baby out now but in the same time I want to feel better before the labour...
By the way, does anybody knows if I am still ok for a homebirth if I have a slight fever (in the evenings when it gets worse it is 37.9 C)?


----------



## angelae36

I wouldn't have thought a fever would be too much of an obstacle to homebirth but these medical people seem to move the goal posts as they go along!
Just keep remembering you are the one who makes the decision where to have your baby!
As you have a couple of weeks to go hopefully your baby will stay put long enough for your temp to come down and give you chance to recover!


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## Anababe

Angelae - Thats great news hun, well done :happydance:

Wombat - Aww hope your feeling better before LO makes an appearance! :hugs:

MW came yesterday and took my blood, just waiting for results! She did say that if they have gone down i cant have my HB but if it's stayed at 10.4 then she'll have a word with the consultant and see if she cant get them to let me have it with being just a .1 under. I dont understand.. 'let' me have it :hissy: If they say no and i just refuse to go in can they do anything about it? Fed up with all this now, im starting to wonder whether to just go in and forget having a HB at all.. :shrug:

xx


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## Wombat

Anababe - I hope everyhting will be ok with you:hugs:

It is funny how they differ place to place. I had a previos c-section, have spd, overweight and was just (a week ago) prescribed iron tablets. And I can't say it was terribly difficult for me to get a home birth. Of course I had to go through the talk about scar rupture and possible big baby, but I have to say once I contacted supervisor of midwifes support has been fantastic. She arranged a groth scan to check my placenta and the size of the baby (which are both fine). And, basically I had no problems since with arranging a homebirth. I don't think anybody gives any notice about my iron levels...

Although they are quite keen to state how great for me it will be to be in hospital (was promised to get one on one care, continues monitoring with some sort of flashy attachments which can even be used in water, so I don't have to be strapped to bed, water birth, basically the birth I want...)


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## Anababe

Yeah other than the iron issues ive had no problems and my midwife is so lovely! I really couldnt expect a nicer midwife, its only because im under the minimum level they are worried. I understand and if i really thought it was going to be risking any medical problems i wouldnt care about going in hospital.. i just really dont believe being 0.1 under whats needed is going to make any major difference :roll: we'll see anyway.. midwife hasnt rang today so mustn't have results yet!

xx


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## angelae36

Anababe said:


> I dont understand.. 'let' me have it :hissy: If they say no and i just refuse to go in can they do anything about it? Fed up with all this now, im starting to wonder whether to just go in and forget having a HB at all.. :shrug:
> 
> xx

No they can't.
When I spoke to the head of midwifery the first thing she said to me is no-one can make you have your baby in hospital. I have a legal right to have her at home.

So by the same token so does every other lady in the country.
I totally understand how you feel about just giving up, I've felt it loads of times. It would make life so much easier.
However.
If you did just "give up" and "do as you are told" would you be looking back at the birth and forever wonder what if? I know I would!!

Remember, if anything happens you can always transfer into hospital!

xxx


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## amandas

Anababe said:


> Yeah other than the iron issues ive had no problems and my midwife is so lovely! I really couldnt expect a nicer midwife, its only because im under the minimum level they are worried. I understand and if i really thought it was going to be risking any medical problems i wouldnt care about going in hospital.. i just really dont believe being 0.1 under whats needed is going to make any major difference :roll: we'll see anyway.. midwife hasnt rang today so mustn't have results yet!
> 
> xx

Hi Anababe - I know the feeling! I have GD but controlled by diet. I had a growth scan on Mon and my baby's waist circumference and weight are both average which is great. My due date is a Friday, and the consultant told me he'd want to induce me a day earlier on the Thursday because it can take a few days to work and they're short staffed at the weekend!!! I told him i REALLY don't want to be induced and asked if they could delay it at least unitl the Monday (still only 40+3) and he said that it wouldn't be good practice! I was soooo pissed off. But i decided not to have a big argument with him at that point, planning to try to get the baby to come out naturally within the next 2 weeks. Anyway, I then saw my MW on Friday and she said that she can't see what difference a couple of days would make and that the mum's wishes are very important, and then cancelled my induction for the 22nd and rebooked it for the Monday 26th!!! :happydance: That gives me an extra 4 days to have the baby naturally!!!! It's so annoying that the doctors just seem to insist on going by the book rather than looking at the individual needs and wishes of the mums - how can 0.1 really make that much difference!!?!? Anyway, keep us posted on what they say!

Wombat - hope you're feeling a bit better! I've had a really sore throat and a cough the last few days too - so irritating! Also we're s'posed to be going to visit a friend's baby this evening who was born at 33 weeks and is in scbu, but I'm going to have to wait outside :sad2:

Angelae36 - Great news! Fingers crossed for you that you get the HB that you want! Keep us posted!


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## mummypeanut

hiya gals, im having a wobble!

I'm 100% sure that a home birth is right for me....im just not 100% sure its right for the baby...

Ive read all the research and ive had a long chat with the midwife (who is very pro) but i still feel like if something awful happens i will use being at home to blame myself.

The worst bit is i really really want to be at home - i dont think i could cope with a hospital birth at all....i mean if i have to i will deal but i really would rather remain here.

I think im gonna have to go read that child birth without fear book that someone reccomended! hopefully that will stop me being such a wuss!


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## Anababe

Amandas - Glad you got the extra days, hope LO makes an appearance in time for you to have your home birth! :D

Well, midwife just txt me.. My iron count is back to normal!! Woo, not only can I have my home birth but its up to me now whether I continue taking the iron tablets :) i'm so happy. Think i'll carry on with them til baby is born just incase.

xx


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## pinkmummy

Hey girls, hope you don't mind me gate crashing here! :thumbup:

I had a homebirth with Thomas back in February and it was the most amazing experience ever! I absolutely loved it. It was so relaxing being able to do what I wanted while I was in labour. I was doing the ironing, washing, sorting Caitlin out to go to nanas all whilst in labour!

I have noticed a lot of the things people have posted about is their OH's not being too sure about it. My OH wasn't to sure about it either. I first said I wanted a home birth at my 8 week check up, but OH was dead set against it we put it out of our minds. The more we thought about as I got further on the more OH understood. The hospital I was going to go to was a MLU and it was only 10 minutes drive away in the car. If anything went wrong at the hospital I would have to be transfered 20-30mins away to the general. I explained to OH that it was just the same as us staying at home and doing it. At least then we wouldn't have to drag Caitlin out of bed early hours of the morning to take her to nanas if tahts when I went into labour.

At 35 weeks I got in touch with my midwife about the home birth as we had decided this is what we wanted. So it was a mad rush to get everything sorted for the homebirth as I had left it so late! I had a problem with anemia earlier in the pregnancy so I had to have my iron level checked before everything went ahead.

I ended up going into labour 3 days overdue. Midwife came out at 4am and I was 4cm I then had Thomas in the living room at 12.17pm :)

Afterwards the MW put me and Thomas in the bath and sent OH off to make a bottle. They then sent OH upstairs in the bedroom with me and Thomas and they cleaned EVERYTHING up downstairs, came and gave me a cuddle and then left!

It was so relaxed and peaceful Caitlin was then the first person to see Thomas as we phoned my mum and dad to bring her up and let her in the bedroom first :) She was amazed.

Sorry for writing an essay there :blush: but I just wanted to show you that with no complications it really is the most amazing experience in the world and I wish you all the best! Enjoy it :) :hugs: xx


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## mummypeanut

caitlinsmummy said:


> Sorry for writing an essay there :blush: but I just wanted to show you that with no complications it really is the most amazing experience in the world and I wish you all the best! Enjoy it :) :hugs: xx

exactly what i needed to hear :)


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## Anababe

Thanks for that caitlinsmummy. Nice to hear home birth stories that have gone as they should! :)

I'm so excited not long to go now :D xx


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## helz81

Hi girls,

Great news on your iron Anababe :happydance: mine was low too and had to go on iron tablets. I had bloods taken again at 36 weeks but haven't heard anything back about it so I assume my levels are ok now. I feel fine anyway.

Just had my home visit from MW this morning, she was perfectly happy with the area I want the birth pool to go so it's all on :thumbup:

Had a bloody show this morning too so I'm just waiting now,rather impatiently, for something to start!


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## Anababe

ooh how exciting hope something happens soon for you :happydance:

I cant believe how close we are now :yipee:

xx


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## helz81

Still waiting....driving myself crazy thinking when will it all start??! Of all the info I've read (on here, and from a google search) it seems to imply that most people once had a bloody show that labour starts within a few days..theres the odd few I've read about that didn't start till a few weeks and more after!!! I'll end up being one of the 'odd few' !! I'm now finding myself doubting that it was a bloody show,even though I _know_ it was!!! I've just had a hot veggie chilli, am having some pineapple later and hubby has suggested abit of luvin later :blush:


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## Anababe

Aw I know how you feel its so horrible the waiting and thinking 'is this it' I been losing my plug now for about a week although it hasn't been bloody so not expecting to go early. Everyone thought i'd have him by now but I think i'll go over. Hope not too much though as this spd is getting impossible to cope with!

Are you having any pains or anything?

FX your OH's suggestion helps get things moving hehe

xxx


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## Rachiebaby24

OMG OMG OMG OMG......OH has given me the go-ahead for a home birth!!

I wanted one with my first baby but he was anxious, and i didnt want the birth to be stressful for him, so i had Maley in hospital. The birth itself was fine with no complications at all, apart from being very quick but i was only actually in hospital for one hour before i gave birth. 

I just really didnt enjoy the stay afterwards. I was left to it, needed hel with BF and never got any. Didnt shower as I didnt like the idea of showering where other women had showered (im funny like that) so top and tailed....and just wanted to go home and be with my OH. 

This time, I was watching a preogramme on sky (home birth diaries) and he just said....do you want one this time.....? i said yes and he said well lets go for it. He said it was horrible coming home from the hospital without me and baby!

Im so excited!!!!!!

....anyway.......hi girls!!!! :wave:


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## helz81

Rachie- thats fab news!! :happydance::happydance:

Anababe- I've had a few crampy niggly pains but theres no pattern to them. Having LOTS of braxtons right now,but I'm on my 5th cup of RLT today so that'll be why. I had a quick go with my breast pump this aft to see if I could stimulate any contractions but nope, just started to feel abit sick since. I'm just tryin to keep telling myself it can't be far away..for me to have lost bloody gunky stuff..means my cervix opened up a little.
How about you..any pains?


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## Anababe

Thats great news rachie! :happydance:

Helz - aw hun just keep trying with the natural methods but dont be building your hopes up too much hun, you can have your show a couple weeks before labour. I lost so much of my plug, loads more this morning dunno how any left! LOL I've had loads of pains and braxton hicks since 37 weeks. I thought i'd atleast be thinning a little if not dilated but been hospital this morning, mw did an internal and my cervix is completely out of reach nearly, not effaced at all and completely closed. I was so disappointed! So I've decided to stop hoping now and just assume i'm going over!

Hope it happens soon for you though, the waiting isn't nice at all is it!

Off to bounce on my ball for a bit before bed time lol 

xxx


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## Wombat

Hi girls :hugs:

Well, I am still recovering from the flu and no sign of a baby. really getting fed up now! Had sex twice yesterday (both with the big O) and nothing. 

Seems this baby decided that it is much too nice inside the tummy!

Oh, and we finally decided on a name! It is a secret at the moment but I am very happy with it! :happydance:


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## Rachiebaby24

Oh Helz....thats great! I lost lots of blood and gooey stuff not long before my waters broke....

Wombat.........when i hit the 37 weeks mark...i used to watch tv in the squatting position! Dont know if it worked but Maley was 10 days early.......it helped my SPD!


Is everyone having home births then?

Do you think if I ask my midwife if OH can deliver baby she will say yes? I only mean the point when baby's head is out.....i want him to be the first to touch baby and then me.....


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## Wombat

Hi girls!

Haven't we let our thread go? LOL

Well, I am still here with no sign of a baby! Offcially overdue and very fed up!
Must get him out till the 3rd of November, otherwise another c-section and no homebirth for me!

I am actually feeling pretty cheated. Here I was planning my great natural homebirth, have a pool, had a massage lesson for my DH, done hypnotherapy - and nothing yet.

And the worst thing is, that if I end up with the c-section I could have done one 2 weeks ago if I wanted one!

Crap!:cry:


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## Wombat

Rachiebaby24 said:


> Do you think if I ask my midwife if OH can deliver baby she will say yes? I only mean the point when baby's head is out.....i want him to be the first to touch baby and then me.....

I am pretty sure if everyhting will be ok you can ask for this. I know lots of ladies prefer to "catch" baby themselves, so I would think your OH would be fine too:hugs:


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## pinkmummy

Wombat said:


> Hi girls!
> 
> Haven't we let our thread go? LOL
> 
> Well, I am still here with no sign of a baby! Offcially overdue and very fed up!
> Must get him out till the 3rd of November, otherwise another c-section and no homebirth for me!
> 
> I am actually feeling pretty cheated. Here I was planning my great natural homebirth, have a pool, had a massage lesson for my DH, done hypnotherapy - and nothing yet.
> 
> And the worst thing is, that if I end up with the c-section I could have done one 2 weeks ago if I wanted one!
> 
> Crap!:cry:

:hugs: hunni don't think it's over yet!! I was exactly the same with Thomas. I was 4 days early with Caitlin so I expected to be early with Thomas too.

I ended up being 3 days late :( It will happen :hugs: Get bouncing on that ball, lots of sex and clary sage ... although I don't think it works personally :blush:


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## Wombat

:hugs::hugs::hugs: Thanks hun:hugs:

Did try all of that. With no result... Actually tried all old wifes tale methods, apart from castor oil... Nothing...

Just have to wait now. And hope that bubba will appear soon:blush:


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## mrsmo7

Hi there just a word of encouragement. Try not to get to stressed out I had my home/waterbirth 6 months ago and my lo was 10 days late!:nope: I didn't think he was ever coming out but he did in his own time:flower:

And my DH did "catch" him and lift him out of the water onto me (as he has with the others:thumbup:) he feels it really helped him bond with each of them and he thinks he delivered the babies single handed:dohh: (i don't think i even needed to be there :haha:)
x


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## New2Bumps

I posted a thread about this the other day as I've decided that a home birth is for me and oh. Good to see lots of other ladies planning the same thing :)


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## snagglepat

Hiya,

I just found this thread and hope you don't mind me jumping in. 

*Wombat*, I'm sure you know all this but you are not actually 'overdue' until you're 42 weeks and the practice of inducing/opting for c/s before that for dates alone isn't medically justified. I don't know anything about your situation, but do try not to feel pressurised by the powers that be. You will go into labour eventually! Holding out for that homebirth is so worth doing. I had DD at home and it was the best experience of my life.

*Rachie*, of course you can ask for DH to catch your baby. And even if you end up not birthing at home you still can. I was at a birth in hospital earlier this year where the mum asked for the midwives to stay 'hands-off' and her husband lifted their son up onto her belly once he was out. If you're in water they'll be hands off anyway. I've been with several Dads as they caught their babies in pools. It's a lovely experience for everyone.

I'm not yet pregnant with no2 (not as far as I know anyway) but we'll definitely be planning a homebirth once we are. I look forward to getting to know you all. :)

Gina. x


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## amandas

Hi All

Sorry haven't been on for a little while but it's because I've been so busy!!!! We had our baby on the 15th October - Baby Luca William Saunders - born at 7.43am, weighing 7lb 13oz.

It wasn't quite the homebirth that we'd planned though! Things were all going well at home, contractions started at 5am on the 14th, but were never regular during the day, varying from 3mins to 7-8mins. By about 9pm they were regular at 3 mins apart, we phoned the hospital (having already phoned them a couple of times to let them know things were moving) and were told that there were no midwives able to come out to us. We were pretty much told that we could go it alone and see how we got on, or we had to go into hospital. As this was our first baby we didn't really feel that we had much choice and therefore went into hospital.

Things slowed down when we got there, and the MW suggested that she thought that we may well be going home anyway - she obviously didn't think i was in established labour, but when she examined me i was 6 cm dilated! I think that the hypnobirthing techniques had really helped as i was still very calm. Although at this point Luca was in the right position, at some point he turned, first back to back, and then onto his side. When my waters broke there was meconium. After 3 hours of pushing, it was clear he wasn't coming out, so they tried to get him out by ventouse - but that didn't work either, and he was born by emergency c section.

Initially i was really disappointed that it had not all gone as i had hoped, but the MW came out and visited and did a complete debrief with us of his birth. I'll never know what would have happened if we had stayed at home and got in the birth pool, maybe he wouldn't have turned the wrong way. But maybe he would and then i would have had to go to hospital via ambulance (and by that stage my nearest two hospitals were both closed as they were full, so i would've ended up miles away) which would've been worse. 

Both he and I are fine and Luca is doing really well. He had really good Apgar scores at birth and touch wood, seems to be doing really well, so that it what is important.

Good luck to everyone else in getting your homebirths - i hope you have more success than me!!! And thanks to everyone else for your support during the last few months. I'll keep an eye on this thread to hear your news!!!

Amanda x


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## Wombat

Amandas - HUGE congratulations!!!!:hugs::hugs::hugs: Thank you for posting yout birth story here.
Enjoy your little boy:hugs:


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## Rebaby

I'm sorry things didn't work out quite how you'd planned but congratulations on the safe arrival of your little man anyway :thumbup:

(I know i am no longer a homebirth gal but i'm lurking around here anyway to see how things go for you all!)


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## angelae36

....Don't give up, keep fighting and you will get your way.

I was told all along that I was unsuitable for a home birth due to my high BMI and towards the end my BP went up.

I am delighted to say that Abbie was born on Monday, at home, without pain relief and with no problems at all other than she was back to back so was extremely painful! She weighed in at 7lb 7oz's - so not the elephant that they also tried to tell me I would have because of my weight!

I cannot recommend enough a home birth if that is what people want.


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## helz81

Hi ladies, just thought I'd drop by again to let you know I had my little boy on Tuesday night, didn't end up getting my homebirth in the end as it turns out what I thought was my plug coming away was infact waters leaking, so they had been leaking for 4 days (!!!) before I went to get checked out so obviously I was sent off straight away for induction. I called in at home first to collect my bags and my waters went with a massive gush that just kept going and going (they did for a few hours!) and then luckily contractions started as I was in the car on the way into hospital so no induction!! :happydance: Still wasn't the way I wanted things to be though..I had to be continually strapped to the monitor so couldn't really move from the bed :nope: but anyway none of that matters now my beautiful baby boy is here safe in my arms :cloud9: and to be honest it's a good job I wasn't at home having him with my other 2 kids upstairs in bed as I suffered with pains really badly in the tops of my thighs (midwifes think baby was pushing down awkwardly on nerves) so was very very vocal :blush:!!!
Look out for my birth story, I'm going to write it up now while it's still fresh in my mind and Ethan is having a cuddle with daddy.
Good luck ladies,you'll soon have your beautiful babies too xxx


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## carries

Glad to have found this thread!

I had a wonderful homebirth with my Son and am planning another one with this baby. It really was a wonderful experience and I cant recommend it enough!

Will keep checking in to see how everyone is doing. xx


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## Proud2bmomx3

That's the way to go Purlple_socks! I had a home waterbirth in an inflatable pool and the experience is a beautiful one! The water really takes a away about 30% of the pain. My midwife suggested it instead of the bathtub...it's way more comfortable and you have a better grip. we just added some hot water as soon as the temp. got warmer. I was 7.5 cm when my midwife came to the house and an hour later my daughter arrived. I did'nt have to push just breathed deeply inhaled then upon every exhale i could see her haed..then her neck thn she just made her own way out. VERY BEAUTIFUL experience for the both of us..MIDWIFES ARE AMAZING! Her umbilical cord was not cut right away as it may send a shock to the baby. She was placed on my chest for about 20min, then dad did the honors..It really allowed my daughter and I to bond and stay attached for a bit instead of being pulled out held up and instsntly separated so spontaeneously. GO FOR IT LADIES! Home birth is the best way to go...unless you are considered to be high risk. Things may be a bit more discouraging then.


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## Livia

Hello!

I'm thinking about a home birth, but know I'll have to convince my partner, as he's a bit funny about these things... :shrug:

However, I'm 36 and will be 37 by the time it's due, and am overweight (just 8 wks now) though not obese. If anything else is fine... would I be considered low risk enough to try? I only live 10 minutes away from hospital so I wouldn't dread a transfer, though I've read their not comfortable...

Thanks! It's amazing to read about all the experiences! :flower:


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## pinkmummy

Livia said:


> Hello!
> 
> I'm thinking about a home birth, but know I'll have to convince my partner, as he's a bit funny about these things... :shrug:
> 
> However, I'm 36 and will be 37 by the time it's due, and am overweight (just 8 wks now) though not obese. If anything else is fine... would I be considered low risk enough to try? I only live 10 minutes away from hospital so I wouldn't dread a transfer, though I've read their not comfortable...
> 
> Thanks! It's amazing to read about all the experiences! :flower:

I know this is a bit different hun but I was 20 when I had Thomas at home and I was borderline overweight/obese and I had a perfect home birth and I was allowed (obviously lol) It took me a while to convince my OH too. I finally convinced him at 35 weeks :lol: Good luck hun xxx


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## Livia

Thanks!

Guess I'll just have to wait and find out!


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## mrsmo7

Livia said:


> Hello!
> 
> I'm thinking about a home birth, but know I'll have to convince my partner, as he's a bit funny about these things... :shrug:
> 
> However, I'm 36 and will be 37 by the time it's due, and am overweight (just 8 wks now) though not obese. If anything else is fine... would I be considered low risk enough to try? I only live 10 minutes away from hospital so I wouldn't dread a transfer, though I've read their not comfortable...
> 
> Thanks! It's amazing to read about all the experiences! :flower:

I had a homebirth 7 months ago with my little man i was 38 years old and had a high BMI I did have to fight for it (that will depend how supportive your midwife is) but i had him safe and sound after a 2 1/2 hour labour with no problems at all!! :happydance:

good luck convincing your OH try telling him if you have the baby at night he would have to go home and leave you both in the hospital but if you are at home you can all go to bed together etc :thumbup:
Homebirths really are very safe as it is very unlikely there woukd be a problem that the midwives did not see coming and they would get you very quickly to hospital!! try looking at www.homebirth.org.uk
:hugs:
x


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## Livia

Thanks! That's very encouraging! Such a short labour, too! Was it your first? 
My mother says I was born very quickly, and my little brother, even more so. So I'm hoping I'll be lucky, too.

I think I'll talk to the midwife and if she's supportive start working on him softly... ;) We only live 10 minutes from the hospital, after all...


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## mrsmo7

I had a homebirth 7 months ago with my little man i was 38 years old and had a high BMI I did have to fight for it (that will depend how supportive your midwife is) but i had him safe and sound after a 2 1/2 hour labour with no problems at all!! :happydance:




Livia said:


> Thanks! That's very encouraging! Such a short labour, too! Was it your first?
> My mother says I was born very quickly, and my little brother, even more so. So I'm hoping I'll be lucky, too.
> 
> I think I'll talk to the midwife and if she's supportive start working on him softly... ;) We only live 10 minutes from the hospital, after all...

No not my first my 4th!!:happydance: My first labour (also at home) was about 13 hours!:nope: BUT i think that was because i couldn't wait and got into the birth pool too soon and slowed things down!:dohh:
My second was about 4 hours and my third was about 6 hours! All were waterbirth and all were fab!:thumbup:

They do say you follow your moms so good luck for a quick birth.
x


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## Livia

Thanks for the info an encouragement! :flower:

Alas, it'll take a while to use this info... :sad2:


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