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## kittycat18

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## rainbows_x

First off :hugs:.

Secondly do NOT feel ashamed of how you are feeling, I know right now you feel so low and can't see anyway out that will help you, but you have a beautifull little girl and a loving OH, always keep that in mind.

Is there any chance of you being able to move out so that you, OH and LO can live together and your mum can't tell you what to do? I remember you posting a thread about moving out a while back but can't remember how that went?

Does your mum know what the appointment was about? It's important for you to see someone. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 7ish months post partum, I knew before but it took me months to go. I hope you can make another appointment soon. I'm always here if you need a chat. xx


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## lov3hat3

Go to the doc Hun, your 18 you can make your own decisions. I think it's better to get out the house, I'm always out with jamiee but he has some sort of routine. Don't feel ashamed at all! It's not your fault. Go to the doc and get some help, I hope you feel better soon :hugs: pm if u ever wanna tAlk xxx


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## cabbagebaby

Sounds like you have PND talk to your mum tell her how you feel and tell her you feel you need to see a doctor or ask you OH to look after Lucia for a hour so that you able to go to the doctors :hugs:


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## amygwen

Oh no Chloe that's awful. Your mom shouldn't say no to you for going to a GP appointment especially if you're feeling so down. It's normal to be down after having a baby but if you're feeling suicidal, even if it's just a little that's not normal. You need to go visit with your GP. Your mom can forget about your LO's routine so you can go to an appointment. Your wellbeing is just as important as your LO's. I would tell her how down you're feeling and you need to go speak to someone other than her and your OH. If you ever need to vent or chat I'm here, sorry to hear you're down. :hugs:


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## Bexxx

:hugs:

Do *not* feel ashamed!!
Did your mum know it was a GP appointment you were going to yesterday? I can't believe she stopped you from going :( Do you see a HV at all? Mine gave me a questionnaire on PND last week as she said it's around this time PND starts to be become obvious.

Could you maybe take Lucia to the GP with you? I think it's important you go, I think it's normal to feel a bit down, I know I have been, but not suicidal :hugs:
I really wish I could give you proper advice, you know we're all here if you need to vent/talk about anything at all :hugs: xxxxxx


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## kittycat18

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## rainbows_x

Your mum sounds so controlling :( Is there any chance you and Lucia could move in with OH? Failing that, just move out to your own place, she can't tell you what to do hun. xx


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## Bexxx

Jeez. Your mum sounds a bit OTT.
I know how you feel about the whole education thing though. I managed to meet my mum halfway by doing an open uni course, I couldn't cope with going to college right now :nope:

Is there any way at all you could move out? It doesn't sound so great there :( Even just temporarily so you could clear your head a bit? :hugs: xxxx


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## kittycat18

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## HellBunny

:hugs:

So sorry you are feeling down hun, i've felt the same since LO was 11 weeks.. still haven't gotten the courage to see my doctor.
If moving out will help you, then i would really try to! I know i couldn't bare living with my parents, they were and are so controlling. If you choose to move out is there any help benefit wise? Because in the past me and o/h was on them and although things were tight we weren't "choosing between this or that" to the same extent.

Is there any chance you could take Lucia with you to the walk in clinic/GP? xxxxx


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## kittycat18

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## rainbows_x

kittycat18 said:


> I have my 8 week checkup and her first vaccination on Friday anyway so not long too wait I suppose. Well I get Income support which is £67 a week, Child benefit which is £20.30 a week, CTC which is £53 a week, EMA is £30 a week, £21 a month in Healthy Start vouchers and if me and OH moved out we would be getting £79.99 a week housing benefit, £162 income support a week and £60 a week EMA. But i dunno. I still have no motivation.

Does your OH work?

I get child benefit and child tax credit, no IS etc & we cope. OH works and get WTC. You would definitley cope. We get £60 pw housing benefit. It sounds like your mum just wants you to stay with her, when you have to think about yourself and what you want. When I moved into our own house with Ava I hadn't been that happy in so long. xxx


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## kittycat18

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## rainbows_x

:nope: Aww that's not fair. Ours was unfurnished bar the white goods. I was lucky enough to find a sofa & chair on eBay for 99p, his mum gave us the mattress but not the bed :/ so we sleep on a mattress on the floor! Maybe try looking around? I dunno, I feel ad for you, I hope you guys can work something out. xxx


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## kittycat18

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## kittycat18

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## x__amour

Chloé! :hugs:
I'm so sorry sweetie! I don't have too much advice but you know I'm always here if you need to talk!


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## Strawberrymum

:hugs: talk to your doctor. It's should not feel ashamed mamy many women feel like this. But things can be done to change the way you feel and make you happier. Your mum doesn't sound very supportive is there anyone else you can talk to an auntie,cousin, grandma, teacher even?


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## kittycat18

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## _laura

I there any way you can talk to your college and get some exceptions. When I return to Uni they said that because I would have so much on if things were a bit late it was no worry. 
Tell your mum how you feel. I got like that and I didn't admit that I wanted help until one day I lost it and honestly couldn't cope ad OH had to come home. I'm better now. It's a massive change and lots of things are going on for you at the moment. :hugs:


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## divershona

kittycat18 said:


> It probably sounds so ridiculous but when mum was no negative about me moving out, I just lost all motivation to do it. I couldn't be bothered anymore :( I just feel that when people are really negative about a choice I make... I start getting low about everything and what they say play over repeatedly in my mind. My mum and dad kept saying if we moved out we wouldn't be putting Lucia first, that we would be living on the poverty line, that we were selfish and we would be choosing between a bag of potatoes or a bag of nappies. Then I think about my daughters happiness continuously. My parents are great with her like so I don't know


You really need to get to see your doctor hunny, and personally i would try and move out as soon as you can, you will get help with your finances etc from the govt and although you won't have loads of money you will be able to manage, plenty of people do. If you moving out helps you to feel better and less stressed then you definately will be putting your daughter first.

Feel free to PM me anytime, i live on my own with my daughter, and i go to college full time too and i manage fine :) my OH also has his own place and is at college full time too.


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## smitsusan5

oh hunny im so sorry you feel like this, it sounds as if being at home isnt the greatest thing for you atm. i suffer with bipolar and have done for nearly 2 years and i just cannot cope off medication. its ruined relationships but ive been to counselling and they said i could be in remission by mid october. things get easier, but speak to someone! dont keep it bottled up. does OH know you feel like this?


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## candicex

Aw hun :hugs: I am here if you ever need to talk!


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## krys

I'm sorry Chloe :hugs:
You should definitely see the doctor! Lucia is your priority, but you need to take care of yourself too! If I were you, I'd sit down with mom and talk about everything. Maybe she will be more supportie of you moving out and perhaps even taking some furniture. 

If you need anyone to talk to or rant to, you can always pm or fb me :flow:


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## kittycat18

I went to my doctor on Friday 16th of September and have been diagnosed with postnatal depression. I am taking 1 Fluoxetine tablet (anti-depressants) a day at the moment :flow:


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## Rhio92

Hope they help hun :hugs: xxx


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## kittycat18

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## Cassie_x

Oh hunni, :hugs: your mother sounds, er, controlling, to put it nicely! I'm so glad you are getting a place of your own & you have anti-depressants. I hope your situation improves for you & gorgeous Lucia. Good luck hun! Xxx


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## EllaAndLyla

:hugs: dont blame yourself. I have changed since having my LO and sometimes feel really depressed etc. Don't feel its your fault because it is NOT. You really should speak to someone though (I haven't read the whole thread, just original post) and maybe even telling your mum how your feeling so she will let you go. Your an adult and your a mum so really she can't tell you that your not allowed to go to the GP for help. I hope things get better for you, they have for me xxxx


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## pinkribbon

kittycat18 said:


> No, we are both in full-time further education. Conors only starting a course so a year left and then work placement. When we did look around, none of the houses in my town advertised are furnished and we have no money for furniture. My mum had promised me my bedroom furniture and some things from the house that she wanted rid of but as soon as I said I was going to move out, she told me I couldn't have anything and I had to do it myself.

I haven't read this entire thread to see if anyone had already said this but you can get a community care grant which is about £2000? It's to help low income families with furniture etc. I never got one but I know people who have. :hugs:


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## kittycat18

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## Bexxx

I'm really glad things are looking up for you :hugs:


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