# Next steps...what can I do?



## aidensxmomma

I apologize in advance if this is long...I am still kind of in shock and can't quite wrap my mind around everything yet.

On Christmas Eve, I allowed my older children (ages 8 & 7) to go with their grandparents (my ex's parents) to visit extended family out of town for two days. The plan was that my ex would be meeting them there and that he would be caring for our kids. They have done this before and since my ex's dad is in really bad health right now, I was trying to be nice and allow extra time for the kids to visit. As far as I was aware, my children were doing great and everything was going well. I text my ex on Christmas Eve asking if everyone made it safe and to give the kids hugs and kisses for me. 

On December 25, I text my ex saying Merry Christmas and asking how the kids were doing. He said they were okay, but my daughter had been bitten by a dog the day before. No one contacted me about it at all at the time and when I asked my ex if she was okay and if she needed stitches or anything, he said she was fine. An hour or so later, my ex called me saying that they were heading home early and that he would bring the kids back. I was really excited because I missed them and wanted to spend Christmas with them, but also a little on guard because it's was very unusual that they'd come back early for no reason. My ex text me to let me know he was on his way around 5pm. At 6pm, he called me to ask if I could meet him at a gas station to exchange the kids. He also told me that I should bring our daughter to the hospital because her hand (where she got the dog bite) was getting incredibly swollen. My husband picked up the kids and when they arrived home, I could see how bad her hand really was....incredibly swollen and she was unable to use it at all. :nope:

My husband brought my daughter to the ER. I stayed home with my sons because the baby is breastfed and won't take a bottle, so it was easier for DH to bring her in than for me to have to bring her and the baby out. DH and the hospital were in contact with me so I knew what was going on. Unfortunately, it was not good at all. My daughter has a severe infection in her hand from the bite and they can't close the gash yet because of the infection. She's been admitted to the hospital and is currently on an IV for antibiotics. They aren't sure if they are going to do stitches in her hand yet, but some sort of medical attention was definitely required because the bite is pretty severe. They are also unsure how long she will need to stay in the hospital and later today she will be seeing a surgeon to determine whether or not there is permanent damage to her hand. Luckily, my daughter is in good spirits and handling things well. But I am absolutely sick over this situation.

Because my daughter's injury was a dog bite, the police were called and a report was filed. If the dog's rabies vaccine isn't up-to-date and/or they can't get vet records, my daughter will have to undergo a painful series of rabies vaccinations. Even with knowing this, my ex and his entire family refused to give the name and location of the dog/owner to the police. Everyone feigned ignorance and said they didn't know who's dog it was or where it happened. Last I heard, police were able to track down the dog/owner thanks to my 8 year old son and Facebook. However, by the time everything is said and done, it may be too late to prevent my daughter from getting the vaccines thanks to the family's uncooperativeness. :growlmad:

I feel that this whole situation has been gross neglect on my ex's part that has put my daughter's health and possibly life on the line. I feel that he had a responsibility to seek emergency care for her, even if he wasn't there when the bite actually happened (which is what he claimed). I want to pursue any legal action possible because he cannot be trusted to take care of my children and/or take care of things for their safety/health/wellbeing. I do not trust that they are safe with him. Currently, we have a court order stating that we have joint custody, I have primary placement, and he gets visitation every other weekend. He isn't currently taking the kids on his weekends, though, because his house is infested with bed bugs and he agreed to keep them away until the bugs are taken care of (once again, it's a health/safety issue). 

I am so lost on what I should do, how to start the process, and if I even have grounds to change anything. Right now, I just feel lost and helpless and I hurt so much for my baby girl. I don't know what to do, but I know that I cannot let anything like this happen again.

Does anyone have any advice/suggestions or similar experiences?


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## Tropiclands

Well you certainly have your ex on neglect, so yes, you have a place to start. The bed bug issue could also be used to help bring the safety of your children around him into question, especially if it's a long term problem. Have there been problems with dogs in this neighborhood before?


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