# Single Parent Forum



## AbbynChloe

I don't mean to be rude, but I feel lately this section is being taken up with people considering leaving their partners and wondering how it will all work out.
What benefits they can/will get etc............

I want to be as helpful as I can but this section is for single parents. If you have relationship issues, please post over in home and relationships.

I want to help and support people, but I am starting to feel like I can't vent about being a single mother!

I'm sorry if I have offended - not my intention at all, just a little frustrated ATM:shrug:


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## emalou90

Unfortunately i agree. Its a shame but i feel a bit awkward when i see those posts.
Admin can we sort something out?
maybe a rule? that in single parents is FOR singles parents (and ex single parents) not, potential if/but/when/why/what happens if, parents/parents to be?

Totally here for supporting future single parents though x


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## AbbynChloe

Thank you! I really didn't wanna upset anyone
I'm having a grumpy day:growlmad:


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## emalou90

LOL! Same as sweet.
Hopefully i dont sound like a hypocrite? because i have a partner now.
But im totally on your side about that situ. :hugs: x


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## AbbynChloe

I don't mind people having partners,im happy that people are in relationship, and it gives me hope that I won't be a single mother forever......

..... however I do resent relationship advice (not to do with FOB's) and people trying to work it out.

I want to come here and complain about doing it all by myself/stupid FOB/sick toddlers and want to share with people who can sympathize and have been where i (and a lot of us have been)

i'm grumpy because i just feel ditched by my friends, and they don't realize how precious they are to me. i'm bored of talking to a 2 year old about peppa pig :-( 
I WANT A LIFE! XXXXXXXXXXXXX


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## expecting09

I know exactly what you mean!!!

Instead of talking to a 2 year old about Peppa Pig you can talk to a 23 year old about Peppa pig if you like?!? ;) :haha:


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## AbbynChloe

Hiya,

Well let me see.............. i hate peppa pig, that just about sums it up...... you?? lol

how are u doing today? xxxxx


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## expecting09

Ahh I love it!! (not that we get to watch it much cos LO is lazyyy!).

Abit crappy today, just forked out £48 on fixing my cooker, the bloke was only here 15 minutes... bloody ridiculous!! You? xx


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## AbbynChloe

Lol - just made lunch changed a bottom and wondering whether to go for a nap when LO does. Ahh the life!!


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## emalou90

im very poor at the moment and am eating 10p noodles from Netto :haha:


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## AbbynChloe

Well I am eating a kids meal that was on offer in sainsbury's (the nearest place to me)

I love LO, but I miss lying in bed all day with a pack of cookies and doritos........ no longer possible :-(


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## littlekitten8

I totally agree girls. Its getting alot harder to come on here now cos most of the posts are, as you said, I wanna leave....its so hard being me...what should i do.... from people who aren't even single parents. 

I am also having a pants day. Not at all well and its soooo not easy looking after a 20 month old when you are practically glued to the loo!!!


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## AbbynChloe

Oh LittleKitten...........

why are you glued to the loo?? (i'm not sure is I really need to know the answer to that??!!??)

it's a shame - I really like this site!! xxxx


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## littlekitten8

The antibiotics i was on the first time around have wiped out the normal gut flora so I now have a rather runny tummy :(


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## emalou90

get better soon littlekitten8 :hugs:!

ive had my daily allowance of salt in those crap noodles... feel awful now!

time for a cuppa whilst bubba is snoozing! lucky me :)

ima let her sleep for ages so shes up late with FOB tonight...
haha im so mean xx


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## Melmin_123

Hey everyone jut thought I would say hello just joined the site, I'm a single mummy to a 4 year old and just found out I have another on the way! Quite scary but still really excited about it - By the way I love netto's 10p noodles :) lol x


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## emalou90

Hi melmin_123, they're gross haha.

congrats on no.2 :) :hugs: xxxx


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## Rhio92

I agree :flower:

Eurghhhh... Today I feel lazy and lonely... Cba to do anything :( Me and Connor still arent dressed yet. Luckily, my best friend has demanded we come to lunch, so I've got to get up... 
Missing FOB like crazy today, it's taking all my will power not to send him a text saying how much he's hurt me. So far so good... I know he won't care, but I'm sooo angry with him!
And to top it all off, Connor's excema is playing up, he's tearing at his skin, the doctors wont do anything, and I feel bad that I haven't got a Mummy Magic Cure for him :(

Ooops that turned into a rant!


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## xSophieBx

I agree too!

I'm the exact same still in my pjs and so is Lily.. I have a hair appointment at 1 though that my mums treating me too as I'm so skint. 

Rhio - DO NOT txt him. I'm also angry.. not cos I care about ex as I hate him but at the fact he won't pay maintenance for his daughter and shes missing out as I want to take her to swimming lessons etc but can't afford them :(. 

I suffer with eczema and its bad at the mo cos I'm stressed.. Why won't the docs do anything? That is soo bad!! Lily had really dry skin as a newborn and I smothered her in aqueous cream which helped her.. & I also use johnsons nourishing lotion.. And shes got lovely skin since.. xx


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## MummyJade

I am on a wanting to text FOB day as well... just to tell him i hate him and he is 26 not 6 and needs to grow up! ive deleted his number but still know it in my head so its taking alot of will power not too.... excema is terrible Maizie had it as a baby but the last few months its totally cleared up so hopefully your little mans will too... xx


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## AbbynChloe

aww ladies please don't text these FOB's - will it make you feel better or more stressed?? my money is more stressed and upset.

i'm sunggling on sofa with dora the explorer - wanting to hang myself but will do that first before i text FOB (Stupid wanker)

we are all here for the same reason - so cuddle little one and be thankful they are by your side, they appreciate all the effort you put into looking after them and loving them - much much more so than FOB!!!!


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## moomin_troll

i agree with you.

this is a section for single parents and us hearing about how someones relationship isnt working out isnt fair on us and that somehow we are expected to have all the answers and suddenly work for the benifit system.

i also dont like the way people make out it must be so hard to be a single mum, like men really do that much hahaha

im in this section not because of a break up but because my OH died and now im a single mum just trying to get thru the day. and ive found here a great support


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## emalou90

- just to add, i have eczema BAAAAAAD, and i hate it, so so much, i wear tank tops on purpose because the docs say it has to have air and sunlight to get better, LIESSSSSS, it never works for me, nothing nana zilch!

:cry:



hope bubbas eczema gets better xx


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## moomin_troll

emalou90 said:


> - just to add, i have eczema BAAAAAAD, and i hate it, so so much, i wear tank tops on purpose because the docs say it has to have air and sunlight to get better, LIESSSSSS, it never works for me, nothing nana zilch!
> 
> :cry:
> 
> 
> 
> hope bubbas eczema gets better xx

i used to suffer from eczema so bad, i had a open wound on my face from it and it covered my body. one day i got so fed up and just stopped using all the creams and used my nans dove body wash and i hardly ever get break outs now. for my son i use aveeno....its really good on his skin


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## teal

I completely agree :flower: I was a single mummy from when I was 4 weeks pregnant up until when my son was 10.5 months old. Although I'm seeing someone I'm still living on my own etc. I don't think it's fair that people post about relationship problems in here. I found in here a great support especially when I was pregnant :hugs: 

Also agree that we don't have it hard.. we are all doing a wonderful job raising our LO's xx


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## dawnmichelle

hello i agree with this too :)xxx


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## anna matronic

moomin_troll said:


> i agree with you.
> 
> this is a section for single parents and us hearing about how someones relationship isnt working out isnt fair on us and that somehow we are expected to have all the answers and suddenly work for the benifit system.
> 
> i also dont like the way people make out it must be so hard to be a single mum, like men really do that much hahaha
> 
> im in this section not because of a break up but because my OH died and now im a single mum just trying to get thru the day. and ive found here a great support

I just love your profile pic, what a beautiful photo :flower: :hugs:

I've been a single parent forever!! FOB has no contact and doesn 't financially support us and I've gone back to work full time. I have quite a short fuse when it comes to other mums going on about there OH being away for a night and how tough it is or how they are sobbing all the time at the thought of going back to work, or my OH doesn't do anything.

Walk in my fucking shoes.... then come and complain to me :D

God that sounded like I'm an uncaring bitch :(


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## whoops

anna matronic said:


> moomin_troll said:
> 
> 
> i agree with you.
> 
> this is a section for single parents and us hearing about how someones relationship isnt working out isnt fair on us and that somehow we are expected to have all the answers and suddenly work for the benifit system.
> 
> i also dont like the way people make out it must be so hard to be a single mum, like men really do that much hahaha
> 
> im in this section not because of a break up but because my OH died and now im a single mum just trying to get thru the day. and ive found here a great support
> 
> I just love your profile pic, what a beautiful photo :flower: :hugs:
> 
> I've been a single parent forever!! FOB has no contact and doesn 't financially support us and I've gone back to work full time. I have quite a short fuse when it comes to other mums going on about there OH being away for a night and how tough it is or how they are sobbing all the time at the thought of going back to work, or my OH doesn't do anything.
> 
> Walk in my fucking shoes.... then come and complain to me :D
> 
> God that sounded like I'm an uncaring bitch :(Click to expand...

Agreed on both points! That picture is beautiful! :flower:

And yep, I don't have much tolerance for the posts where mums are worried about bathing their LO alone or cutting their nails alone or spending the day alone because their OH has to go back to work. I don't have the luxury to wallow in worry about things like that - I have to just dive in and figure out how to do everything myself. 

I tend to just stay out of those threads now because they wind me up too much. 

Being a single mum is tough, but I also find it hard to hear people say they feel sorry for us, even if it's meant nicely. There's worse things, you know. I'd prefer to be a single mum than be in an unhealthy relationship, for example.


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## Avalanche

I would start reporting the posts and ask a mod to move them to the relationships forum :)


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## surprisebaby

I agree too! I am uncomfortable with these posts from people who are having relationship problems posting in the single parent section. It's actually in some ways a horrible reminder of someone who still has a chance of being together with the father of their child when you would have done anything to have made it work with the FOB. Obviously this is just from my perspective and experience of being dumped when I was pregnant and having no support or involvement from FOB. Maybe this is over reacting but it sort of rubs it in your face that they still have FOB there even if he acting badly or whatever.

When I really think about every time I see one of these posts I find it upsetting and it reminds you perhaps of the past, when you want to move forward. It reminds you of what you DON'T have. I never reply to theses posts. This might sound nasty but I kind of boycott them, deliberately ignore them. Don't get me wrong I can sympathise with their situation but I don't want to read about it in this forum. 

Its like being forced to live homeless and then getting used and enjoying living on the streets and then someone asking 'I have a luxury home to live in but I'm not happy. What's it like not having a home, etc etc' Sorry for the rubbish analogy!! I just thought of there and it made me laugh. Obviously I know it would be awful being homeless and not comparable to being a single parent and I like being a single parent in a way, but just to make a point across!!


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## emalou90

i like how a lot of us agree on this, hopefully the mods can see it our way and make a rule, like the girly sanctuary cant talk about possible BFP's or whatever.


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## moomin_troll

anna matronic said:


> moomin_troll said:
> 
> 
> i agree with you.
> 
> this is a section for single parents and us hearing about how someones relationship isnt working out isnt fair on us and that somehow we are expected to have all the answers and suddenly work for the benifit system.
> 
> i also dont like the way people make out it must be so hard to be a single mum, like men really do that much hahaha
> 
> im in this section not because of a break up but because my OH died and now im a single mum just trying to get thru the day. and ive found here a great support
> 
> I just love your profile pic, what a beautiful photo :flower: :hugs:
> 
> I've been a single parent forever!! FOB has no contact and doesn 't financially support us and I've gone back to work full time. I have quite a short fuse when it comes to other mums going on about there OH being away for a night and how tough it is or how they are sobbing all the time at the thought of going back to work, or my OH doesn't do anything.
> 
> Walk in my fucking shoes.... then come and complain to me :D
> 
> God that sounded like I'm an uncaring bitch :(Click to expand...

u dont sound like a uncaring bitch at all! i feel the exact same way and always have done hahaha
i knew i was lucky to have a great OH but when he went away it was weeks and months at a time so the ones who go "oh im alone for a day" really got on my nerves and now even more so.

i think i might start reporting the posts as we arent here to give them relationship advice and to tell them if they should leave their ohs or not....we have our own problems.

im going back to work next yr, i cant claim benifits as i have a army pension so i no im lucky to have money coming in. im really nervous about having 2 boys and working full time but needs must


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## mamashakesit

I agree. Hell, I even get annoyed (no offense to all you faithful regulars) when I see posts about dads who have their kids every other weekend. It's different when you are truly alone with no support whatsoever from the father.


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## AbbynChloe

mamashakesit said:


> I agree. Hell, I even get annoyed (no offense to all you faithful regulars) when I see posts about dads who have their kids every other weekend. It's different when you are truly alone with no support whatsoever from the father.

Hmm i'm going to have to kindly disagree because I think dealing with FOB's is an issue thats specific to single parents.

Choe's dad has her every other weekend, but I have absolutely no support anywhere else. it will get a little hairy if we start to draw really specific lines like that.

We are not in a relationship and i'd rather get advice from others in a similar situation, then write in a section of the forum where others can pity me and realise how lucky they are to have a loving and reliable partner.

But thats just my opinion :flower:


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## moomin_troll

AbbynChloe said:


> mamashakesit said:
> 
> 
> I agree. Hell, I even get annoyed (no offense to all you faithful regulars) when I see posts about dads who have their kids every other weekend. It's different when you are truly alone with no support whatsoever from the father.
> 
> Hmm i'm going to have to kindly disagree because I think dealing with FOB's is an issue thats specific to single parents.
> 
> Choe's dad has her every other weekend, but I have absolutely no support anywhere else. it will get a little hairy if we start to draw really specific lines like that.
> 
> We are not in a relationship and i'd rather get advice from others in a similar situation, then write in a section of the forum where others can pity me and realise how lucky they are to have a loving and reliable partner.
> 
> But thats just my opinion :flower:Click to expand...

i dont think shes implying other shouldnt be able to rant about FOB just that atleast the FOB is around and that the mother gets atleast 1 break rather then her doing it 100% alone


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## AbbynChloe

moomin_troll said:


> AbbynChloe said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mamashakesit said:
> 
> 
> I agree. Hell, I even get annoyed (no offense to all you faithful regulars) when I see posts about dads who have their kids every other weekend. It's different when you are truly alone with no support whatsoever from the father.
> 
> Hmm i'm going to have to kindly disagree because I think dealing with FOB's is an issue thats specific to single parents.
> 
> Choe's dad has her every other weekend, but I have absolutely no support anywhere else. it will get a little hairy if we start to draw really specific lines like that.
> 
> We are not in a relationship and i'd rather get advice from others in a similar situation, then write in a section of the forum where others can pity me and realise how lucky they are to have a loving and reliable partner.
> 
> But thats just my opinion :flower:Click to expand...
> 
> i dont think shes implying other shouldnt be able to rant about FOB just that atleast the FOB is around and that the mother gets atleast 1 break rather then her doing it 100% aloneClick to expand...

Ok then what about single mothers who have their Family around?? would you consider them doing it 100% alone?

I do think I am doing it 100% alone FOB is an idiot and the weekends he's at my house watching her i'm working the entire weekend. It may be a break from baby but not a break in the literal sense.

Again we all may agree to disagree but just because FOB is in the picture does not mean I have it any easier/harder than single mothers with no FOB in the picture.

Each situation is individual - the only point I wanted to raise with this thread was calling out people who were considering leaving their partners wanting to know what single parent was life was all about, what benefits they'll get, how will they cope etc.......

I just wanted to say let the single parent forums be just for us single parents.......:flower:


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## moomin_troll

i no the reason why u posted this thread, and ive not said i agree with mamashakesit comment i was just saying i dont think she ment this section shouldnt have women comment about FOB just that it annoys her to see it.


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## xSophieBx

Judging by the threads in this section I think the majority of us have to deal with nobs of FOB's... I think that in itself can be more stressful then having to do it '100% alone' so to speak. Which I do anyway as he doesn't have access to LO right now or support her financially... but the stress of solicitors and all the other crap that goes on is extremely stressful and tbh if I had a choice I'd rather do it 100% alone if I didn't have to deal with that unstable twat in mine or my daughters life.


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## AbbynChloe

Eurgh FOB's are a breed like no other!!!


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## mamashakesit

Perhaps the word "jealous" rather than "annoyed" would have been more accurate. I guess I'd give anything to have a guy that cared enough to be there even every other weekend to spend time with his child and give me a break as well.


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## AbbynChloe

mamashakesit said:


> Perhaps the word "jealous" rather than "annoyed" would have been more accurate. I guess I'd give anything to have a guy that cared enough to be there even every other weekend to spend time with his child and give me a break as well.

Well in my case he doesn't care enough to be involved - it was an ultimatum - either he looks after her and I work, or I don't work and you pay more maintenance.

I asked him the other day when exactly will Chloe be a priority in your life?

He said "umm maybe when she's older??!!??"

You have NOTHING to be jealous of in my case - really if it wasn't for this work situation he'd have nothing to do with my daughter....

That really hurts


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## expecting09

I see what mamashakeit is trying to say. I wouldn't take it as a personal insult Abby :hugs: 

Sophie, every situation is different, you can't say people that are doing it 100% alone have less stress than those with FOBs in the picture. They have stress but in a different way. 

I think we've all established that people coming onto the single parents board asking for relationship advice is pretty damn stupid, and I'm sure thats what this thread was meant to be about, not about what kind of single parent has it worst.


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## AbbynChloe

I assure you I don't take it as an insult.

i'm hot and hormonal, and it's really hard to interpret written word, so really I wasn't upset or taking offence 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AbbynChloe

AbbynChloe said:


> mamashakesit said:
> 
> 
> Perhaps the word "jealous" rather than "annoyed" would have been more accurate. I guess I'd give anything to have a guy that cared enough to be there even every other weekend to spend time with his child and give me a break as well.
> 
> Well in my case he doesn't care enough to be involved - it was an ultimatum - either he looks after her and I work, or I don't work and you pay more maintenance.
> 
> I asked him the other day when exactly will Chloe be a priority in your life?
> 
> He said "umm maybe when she's older??!!??"
> 
> You have NOTHING to be jealous of in my case - really if it wasn't for this work situation he'd have nothing to do with my daughter....
> 
> That really hurtsClick to expand...

Mamashakeit i'm sorry my tone here was awful! please don't take offence!!! xxxx:flower::flower:


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## xSophieBx

expecting09 said:


> I see what mamashakeit is trying to say. I wouldn't take it as a personal insult Abby :hugs:
> 
> *Sophie, every situation is different, you can't say people that are doing it 100% alone have less stress than those with FOBs in the picture. They have stress but in a different way. *
> 
> I think we've all established that people coming onto the single parents board asking for relationship advice is pretty damn stupid, and I'm sure thats what this thread was meant to be about, not about what kind of single parent has it worst.

Thats not what I meant at all... I'm just saying thats how I personally feel in my situation. I know alot of doting FOB's aswell as some total nobheads like my FOB so every situation is different.


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## v2007

You are right. 

:hugs:

V xxx


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## emalou90

please, we dont all need to argue with each other, we all know that mainly, generally, this place is for singletons, NOT, wondering wether to be single or not. That should be in the relationships area.

xx


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## mamashakesit

AbbynChloe said:



> mamashakesit said:
> 
> 
> Perhaps the word "jealous" rather than "annoyed" would have been more accurate. I guess I'd give anything to have a guy that cared enough to be there even every other weekend to spend time with his child and give me a break as well.
> 
> Well in my case he doesn't care enough to be involved - it was an ultimatum - either he looks after her and I work, or I don't work and you pay more maintenance.
> 
> I asked him the other day when exactly will Chloe be a priority in your life?
> 
> He said "umm maybe when she's older??!!??"
> 
> You have NOTHING to be jealous of in my case - really if it wasn't for this work situation he'd have nothing to do with my daughter....
> 
> That really hurtsClick to expand...

Really, I didn't mean to be hurtful. Sometimes, just knowing my daughter's dad doesn't want to take on any responsibility for her and doesn't even call more than once every 3 weeks to check up on her (and even then it's not a definite he asks about her) it seems that anyone with an FOB who has any involvement whatsoever with their child would be better. But I definitely get why it's not! Hugs Abby!


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## Rhio92

Listen guys, every situation is different, so pleeeease, lets not have an argument :hugs: And as women, we tend to want what we haven't got! 

Come ooooon, lets have a party and forget about the dickheads :dance:


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## AbbynChloe

Party with smarties??!!?? lol

Sorry Mama like I said before my tone must have sounded awful! i'm sorry

I want thick hair....................lol


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## Rhio92

Smarties!!!!! :happydance: The blue ones, not the new blue ones though :( The old blue ones that were full of Es :haha:


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## mamashakesit

I think I shall start using the acronym "FOC" for "Father of Child" rather than "Father of Baby." It gives me an excuse to swear in regards to that prick.


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## mamashakesit

Rhio...look how close our darlings are in age!


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## xSophieBx

I could do with some blue smarties this morn lol. 

Had another pathetic solicitors letter yesterday... I can't believe their cheek lol... His demanding photos of LO.. Why should I provide him with MY photos of LO when he can't even provide for his daughter? I just can't get my head around the fact a father wants to see their child but doesn't want to pay for them?


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## AbbynChloe

xSophieBx said:


> I could do with some blue smarties this morn lol.
> 
> Had another pathetic solicitors letter yesterday... I can't believe their cheek lol... His demanding photos of LO.. Why should I provide him with MY photos of LO when he can't even provide for his daughter? I just can't get my head around the fact a father wants to see their child but doesn't want to pay for them?

That's ridiculous! 

if he wants them make him pay for them! i've just bought some pictures of Chloe that was taken at her day care £62:wacko:
but they are online... if Chloe's dad wants them i'll give him the link - he can pay for his own! xxxxx


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## xSophieBx

AbbynChloe said:


> xSophieBx said:
> 
> 
> I could do with some blue smarties this morn lol.
> 
> Had another pathetic solicitors letter yesterday... I can't believe their cheek lol... His demanding photos of LO.. Why should I provide him with MY photos of LO when he can't even provide for his daughter? I just can't get my head around the fact a father wants to see their child but doesn't want to pay for them?
> 
> That's ridiculous!
> 
> if he wants them make him pay for them! i've just bought some pictures of Chloe that was taken at her day care £62:wacko:
> but they are online... if Chloe's dad wants them i'll give him the link - he can pay for his own! xxxxxClick to expand...

I know.. They didn't even ask either.. they demanded them and said they look forward to receiving them on return!! 
Exactly make him pay for his own. He can take his own pics of her when this contact centre gets sorted anyway. The only reason his asked for photos now is cos I commented how his never once asked for any, or any of the 1s I took of him and LO at christmas... 

Once this contact centre gets sorted I've gotta get my way there and back.. I live in the middle of nowhere, no buses etc, so gotta rely on my mum taking us and its 16miles away... and he won't even contribute towards that. I'm fed up with it all...


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## AbbynChloe

I swear when I think of these solicitors representing these poor examples of men - they really have no morals do they???

Demand my ass - i'd reply that you are more than happy to provide pictures as long as he covers printing/posting costs as they are all on your hard drive. You cannot see how you (as a single parent) can be expected to cover the cost of printing photos when you have a baby to feed! and with no support from FOB means a choice between printing and posting photos and your baby's food/nappies!!!!!

let see what the solicitor picks!
:hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Rhio92

mamashakesit said:


> Rhio...look how close our darlings are in age!

Awwww cute your LO is only 3 days older than Connor! :cloud9:


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## BrokenfoREVer

xSophieBx said:


> I could do with some blue smarties this morn lol.
> 
> Had another pathetic solicitors letter yesterday... I can't believe their cheek lol... His demanding photos of LO.. Why should I provide him with MY photos of LO when he can't even provide for his daughter? I just can't get my head around the fact a father wants to see their child but doesn't want to pay for them?

My mom used to work for the CSA & her motto is (having taking my dad to court for CSA money) is that 'your children are not a pay per view event'

I'm sick of idiots who want all the fun times with LO with zero responsiblity...pay your damn way with your child & then we'll see if you have a right to anything GRR!!

Sorry...mini rant...had fight with FOB today after being told his oldest is worth paying for & my son is not! :brat:


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