# advice needed



## tessica123

does anyone know where i can get some free or cheap legal advice 

having issues with ex changing contact at last minute all the time 
latest is tomorrow he is meant to be having them from 10am till tea time now hes decided something has come up and he can only have them from 5.30 till 7pm

we are going away wednesday ive not packed anything yet which i was doing tomorrow as well as few other things including getting my hair cut, 1st time in one year may i add lol

hes had a go saying ive no right to be annoyed as he is still having them and then had a go that nice to see he is paying for me to have my hair cut!!
yes he gives me money for the boys but it certainly isnt going on my hair cut

i just want contact sorted in wirting then if he cant do it he doesnt do it 
half the time i dont know hes having them till its too late to make child free plans drives me potty


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## moomin_troll

Have u tried looking up legal aid? Because u have dependants you should be entitled. 
If this was me I'd say well u can't see them when u were supposed to do ur not seeing them at all that day. How dare he think he can swap and change


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## tallybee

moomin_troll said:


> Have u tried looking up legal aid? Because u have dependants you should be entitled.
> If this was me I'd say well u can't see them when u were supposed to do ur not seeing them at all that day. How dare he think he can swap and change

I think that's reasonable. It's hardly worth bothering for a couple of hours esp when it should've been an all-dayer. Do these guys not have an ounce of thought for the kids they're messing around :wacko: it seems like there is a lot of spite there and he's trying to make things hard for you!

For this instance you're well within your rights to say nope that's no good you'll have to wait and see them next time. For future, if it happens again I would completely keep your plans out of any discussion with him as you've seen it just gives him the opportunity to pick at things and criticise. Just say ah well that's not going to work.

I think a lot of solicitors still do a free first session so that might be worth looking at. Or try citizens advice x


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## baileybubs

6 months ago I could have written that exact post Hun. Especially the bit about the hair cut, my ex said the exact same thing to me. They don't realise that we are spending our own money on the hair cut and the money they give us pays for only a tiny proportion of what we also spend on the kids!!

I haven't gone down the legal route myself but when I've considered it it's been mentioned to be to go to the citizens advice bureau. As moomin mentioned you should get legal aid. 

I also agree that I wouldn't have let him see them at all rather than cancel half the day.

I just got used to the idea that my ex was always gonna let us down, so I never planned anything at the times he was going to have them, that way I never had to cancel plans. He eventually just stopped even arranging to see them which is why I've not gone down the legal route yet.


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## ClairAye

I'm pretty sure Legal Aid is very strict now but I could be wrong. Most solicitors will offer a free 30 minute consultation. :)


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## moomin_troll

Legal aid has become strick, but if u have dependants they will help. I know someone who's recently had help. 
It's a shame as single mums we don't get much time to plan to do much like a rare treat like getting ur hair done. But yes I'd agree to not making plans for the times he's supposed to be having them. 
It's shocking how some men think they can treat their children and their mother


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## Ceejay123

Legal aid has been removed for family law unless there are specific circumstances.

Unfortunately even if you have it in writing, there's nothing to stop him changing plans. All I ever hear is how court orders affect the resident parent, but the other parent isn't punished for breaking it. Enforcement orders are only really against the resident parent. Honestly it may not be worth it.
If I were you I'd be saying 'don't bother' next time z


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## baileybubs

I didn't realise legal aid were getting so strict. Have you tried just laying down the law with him and see how he reacts? He can't expect to be able to just swan in and out at his leisure, it's not fair on the kids either. What happens as they get older and they know dad is supposed to be coming at 9am and then he turns up whenever he feels like and they've spent all day waiting for him?! I basically told my ex that he turns up consistently and on time or not bother coz my kids deserve a father who will make them his priority, not turn up when it suits him. And that's why he hasn't seen them for 6 months, coz he just couldn't be bothered turning up on time.


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## tessica123

thank you so much for your replies

as soon as they are back at school im going to citezons advice 
i know i cant get legal aid as i tried once before 

i even had a solicitor tell me to text him rather than call and lay it too him re seeing the kids regular and what was happeneing on xmas day as hed decided he wanted them yet hed not had them for 8 months without me present and if he kicked off let him and call police then id get legal aid 

hes away in paris at minute with his gf, id just like to be able to go to loo without kids lol


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## baileybubs

It's frustrating isn't it? I go to the loo with two toddlers following me yet my ex messages after ages of not hearing from him saying "sorry I've not messaged been busy sorting out my new flat" alright for some to have the time and money to move house! I've been saving for a better place for almost a year now and just got enough now, trouble is now fitting in time to view houses whilst having 2 kids to care for!!

Definitely text him laying down the law so to speak coz then you have to proof that you are allowing him to see the kids but that he has to be doing it in a way that's consistent and fair to them. If he doesn't reply or is rude back then you'll have that evidence.


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## LoraLoo

I don't have much advice on the legal side but sounds like the other ladies have given lots. I would suggest keeping a diary of all dates and times he is skipping and missing and his 'reasons' for future reference in case needed.


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