# Guns



## neadyda

What is everyone's feelings on pretend guns/playing guns?

I've always said no guns allowed for my two boys, my personal preference. I grew up where people have died from being shot and to me it's just not a nice thin to pretend.

So when Jamie started coming home and making gun noises I said to him I don't like him pretending to make gun noises. He seemed to acknowledge what I said. A few days later I walk in on him making his stickle bricks into a gun shape and pointing it at his brother. I was more firm this time and explained I don't like guns and he isn't allowed to play them.

Now today waiting in the school play ground before the bell went a boy in his class had what looked like a ruler but was shaped like an L. He was pointing it at all the kids, Jamie included, making all the noises. I could see a couple of other mums look around to see if they could see this kids mum, they could as she was right near him. So I called Jamie over and firmly said I want NO guns being played at school today. This kids mum heard me and gave me the filthiest look ever!

I went to Jamie's teacher and explained about what Jamie was doing and she said the school have zero policy on playing guns and if they see a child doing it they stop them. She also said she has a little boy and she is the same RE guns.

I just feel like that child's mum thought maybe I was over reacting?:shrug:


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## aimee-lou

I don't have a problem if its within the context of a game like cowboys and Indians for example. We also have nerf guns at home. But....... I'm not tolerant if violence for the sake if it. Earl knows not to play to 'kill' people and also not to shoot at anything except a target or if someone is playing directly with him. Its nit something he does very often but he did go through a phase last year which has now passed.


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## neadyda

This boy was making like dying noises if that makes sense?! So it wasn't like a game of cowboys and indians. I don't even like the shooting games on games consoles. Xx


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## aimee-lou

To me that's not acceptable either so you definitely weren't over reacting. 

I agree entirely that there's too much violence in the world without starting down that road with computer games etc. I find its normally the boys with older siblings who do it most. I think they get exposed to it more. Just a theory.


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## neadyda

Thanks, I just thought I was ridiculously over protective mum by the way she looked at me! Xx


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## jd83

I think its definitely a personal preference thing with parenting. Personally, I have no problem with them, as I view them as a natural part of childhood that most boys gravitate toward. Its usually a hero vs bad guy type play, which gives them a feeling of power. I like this explanation:
https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/toy-guns-do-they-lead-real-life-violence

I know we all feel differently about it, but I do agree with what they say. Its typically a pretend play with young boys that they outgrow as they get older and more secure with themselves.


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## dani_tinks

I'd be exactly the same as you. Guns are unacceptable to me. There's plenty of other more innocent games they can play than pretending to shoot at people.


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## alicecooper

jd83 said:


> I think its definitely a personal preference thing with parenting. Personally, I have no problem with them, as I view them as a natural part of childhood that most boys gravitate toward. Its usually a hero vs bad guy type play, which gives them a feeling of power. I like this explanation:
> https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/toy-guns-do-they-lead-real-life-violence
> 
> I know we all feel differently about it, but I do agree with what they say. Its typically a pretend play with young boys that they outgrow as they get older and more secure with themselves.

I generally take this sort of approach too, but I do appreciate that it's a personal preference thing.


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## steele

I'm not bothered about pretend guns or playing guns. It's only a game, as long as they can distinguish between real and pretend it's not a problem. My son will be brought up around real guns though as his Dad, Grandad and uncles all have gun licenses so maybe I don't see them as shocking. 

I always thought it was a pretty normal thing for children to do, every child I grew up with played pretend guns and not one (that I'm aware of) has actually shot someone :shrug:


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## cookette

I dont have an issue with it. Its all in play and in my personal opinion, I think telling them to not play somethig imaginary almost draws more attention to it. If you dont care for it, you certainly have the right to raise your son as you wish but if you were admonishing loud enough to put someone else out, the other mother very much may have thought you were directing it towards her and would be rightly hacked off to have judgement made on her parenting if it was perceived as intentional. I would be.


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## dani_tinks

I don't think it's normal these days :shrug:, I don't think i've ever seen little boys playing guns around here.


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## neadyda

All of Jamie's friends outside school don't play pretend guns and my brother never did (he is 11)

I wasn't directing my comments to her, I was literally talking to my son about what I don't want him to do. I don't really mind what anyone else's children play, I just don't want my son doing it. Also by talking to his teacher that it's not allowed in school, I don't want my son breaking the 'rules'. I want him to listen to his teachers and do as he is told.

One of my best friends from schools dad was killed by being shot so it's a sensitive subject to me. X


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## lindseymw

It doesn't bother me. Both of mine play pretend guns, they pretend to shoot each other. They'll use their hands, sticks anything really. They have nerf guns which they love playing with and yes they will shoot people with them (their Dad, Granddad and Uncle).

It is a personal preference in parenting but it's not something that bothers me.


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## freckleonear

I let my children play guns. There is a very interesting book called "We don't play with guns here", although it's quite a heavy academic read. It basically explains how war and weapon play can be an important route into imaginative play for boys and improve their conflict resolution skills. It also has lots of suggestions for implementing boundaries for gun play.


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## Pearls18

I wouldn't buy mine toy guns just yet, eldest is 4, but he pretend plays, runs around saying "peow peow". Sorry to sound like a broken record as I know I say it a lot on the forum but my husband is a gunner in the RAF so guns are a big part of his life, ours, we always go to look at them and hold them at families' days, they protect this country, I am not ashamed of them. If he started pretending he was participating in street violence I would intervene, but to me, war games, cowboys and Indians, cops and robbers are part of growing up. Gun games are popular amongst DS and his friends as you can imagine, he will have to go past an armed guard in the morning to get to nursery, but as with anything it's how you raise your children, the context and what you teach them.

And just to say (something I have also repeated on these threads so my apologies!) but my MIL is a bit of a hippy lol, very anti hunting, hated guns, wears a lot of multi colours lol, she has 4 kids, 3 boys and a girl and hated gun games, tried to discourage it, wouldn't buy them guns. She now has 2 sons in infantry units in the military and her daughter is marrying an avid hunter who has his own guns and does lamping etc, I love a bit of irony lol, not saying if you disallow it they will rebel but it just makes me giggle to think how it turned out with our family! My sons will probably turn out to liberal democrat pacifists or something lol.


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## Srrme

It doesn't bother me. We have dart guns and toy guns. I don't see the big deal, but it is a personal preference.


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## venapols

I dont mind obviously toy guns like water pistols, nerf guns, lasers tag guns, little rubber bbs etc...

my issue is army related paraphernalia... theirs no need for indoctrination of children and that seems to lead to the 'violent' themed games


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## chickenlegs

It doesn't really bother me. I agree, it's part of growing up. I work in a school where gun games are not allowed, but they ALWAYS find a way! If all else fails, they use two fingers and a thumb. They pretend they aren't playing shooting, but they pretty much always are!I don't believe that it leads to anything bad, it's just what kids do! I have a lot of respect for people who don't allow it, but I think personally that not allowing it just makes it more intriguing to be honest.


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## LovemyBubx

I also think its the context of the game. 

If I saw a boy/girl with a real life looking gun saying I'm going to shoot you/kill you to me is unacceptable & I would be shocked. 

My OH has nerf guns, my DD has played with them, they are funny to get daddy, we are not hurting him, he aren't making shooting noises, its the same fun as a water pistol. 

My DD also owns a girls knight sword & helmet (its like a hard foam material) yes again she likes to hit daddy with it & she finds it funny (she also understands not to hit hard otherwise daddy will get hurt) but her game is pretending she's a knight & daddy is a dragon & she's saving her princess doll. 

Having fun pretending to kill someone I don't think is good. 

I do think though that if my OH or dad was a soldier & DD has seen a parade where there's guns etc then it would be different as she would understand that guns are used by the army to protect the country & she would probably understand more about how real guns are treated etc 
So my opinion may be different if that was our situation.


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## lhancock90

I'm torn, like you i would feel super uncomfortable with it, but, that said, i remember playing guns and stuff as a kid and i never related it to the real world or anything horrific? I wonder if the more you try stop it the more he'll want to and if maybe its better to get it out of his system now?


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## RachA

It's definitely the context of the play. 

I'm not overly happy with mine having guns but even without them my son has pretended to shot things. You don't been a gun to play gun games. We've never actively bought anything gun related until he was turning 7 when he got a nerf gun. 
He runs around playing with it but we will intervene if he starts saying about wanting to kill someone and we talk to him about it. 
In my experience being very anti something can back fire in a big way so I would rather he played pretend guns now than with real guns when he's older. I still don't really like it but I accept it's a part of life. 

I also agree a lot with what marinewag says :)


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