# Cant stop crying :(



## DueSeptember

*

Usually I am okay at work but today I just cant stop crying 

All my Friends are Having thier Healthy Babies I am the only one who Lost My Baby girl 

I dont know where else to go or who to talk to *


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## mhazzab

oh i'm so, so sorry you are feeling low today. but remember you are not alone there are sadly so many people here who understand how you are feeling. I know what you mean, it seems like everyone else's pregnancy seems to go fine. of course, I would never wish anyone else to go through this, but i do keep asking, why me? I still can't bear to be around newborns and pregnant people.

hugs to you, if you ever need to talk i am here xxx


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## DueSeptember

*I know...I cant function at work I dont know why I am like this I am fine most of the time but today I cant stop crying *


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## kam78

Hi Sweetie:flower:

Thinking of you and sending you prayers of comfort ... :hugs:

We completely understand how you are feeling and thinking, unfortunately we are all stuck on this rollercoaster ride... I still have issues being around preg women and newborns... Still get those thoughts, "why me??" ... Just know you are NOT alone, EVER .... 

How are you doing on your TTC process?? 

Fingers crossed that all is going great babe!!!

:dust::dust::dust:


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## Andypanda6570

I get like this also, nobody understand us I know :cry::cry::cry: When you feel like that just take a deep breath and cry if you need to, I mean just go with it till it passes. I just let it flow and I don't fight it anymore and I feel like that works best, you are not alone, just come here and start threads and we can all talk, believe me I feel just as you/ This feeling just comes and goes, it is horroble..
Thinking Of You XOXOXO :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Nikki_d72

Aw hun, I'm sorry you are having a bad one, I had a mini meltdown week this week too. I think for me, a lot of it is bottling it all up to get through work, then it all finds a way out in spectacular style later. Do you think this could apply to you? Do you have to really keep your emotions in check at work? I work p/t in a restaurant, alone so I really can't melt down there and work so hard to keep myself straight I'm exhausted after every shift, even if it's not been busy. Let yourself cry when you can, it's awful but it's healing too. xxx


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## DueSeptember

*I usually dont cry at work because I am on the phone and they can hear it in my voice I also have coworkers surrounded all around me and none of them understand except one she lost twins so she knows how I feel but she works in the morning and I never get to see her...I talk to my Boyfriend about How I am Feeling he says our Baby was to precious for this ugly world but I Miss her and wish she was here with us *


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## glbell920

I'm so sorry you are having a bad day. I've had a few myself this past week. I finally got out of the house and babies EVERYWHERE....It was really hard to keep it together. Nobody around me knows the internal struggle.

I'm praying for you.


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## DueSeptember

*thank you!! I am sorry you ladies are here & no one can understand how i feel except for you all because unfortunately you all been there i pray for my rainbow baby soon i know maya would love a baby bro or sis to look over *


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## angel jayvian

:( that's what I'm doing right now crying is so unfair I don't have my baby n all my friends and cousins are having their babies soon :'(..i just cant stop crying..im staying away from them not ready to see them yet..i ask myself will I ever be ???? This is so hard :(


DueSeptember said:


> *
> 
> Usually I am okay at work but today I just cant stop crying
> 
> All my Friends are Having thier Healthy Babies I am the only one who Lost My Baby girl
> 
> I dont know where else to go or who to talk to *


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## DueSeptember

angel jayvian said:


> :( that's what I'm doing right now crying is so unfair I don't have my baby n all my friends and cousins are having their babies soon :'(..i just cant stop crying..im staying away from them not ready to see them yet..i ask myself will I ever be ???? This is so hard :(
> 
> 
> DueSeptember said:
> 
> 
> *
> 
> Usually I am okay at work but today I just cant stop crying
> 
> All my Friends are Having thier Healthy Babies I am the only one who Lost My Baby girl
> 
> I dont know where else to go or who to talk to *Click to expand...

*I know I thought it would get better but after seeing all the cute Babies it just reminds me of Her  I want another Baby so bad but I am scared and all i can do is pray...Hoping everything will turn out okay the next time...are you going to try again?*


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## angel jayvian

Yess I want a baby so bad I think it would make this pain alil better not completely but it would make it so much easier since I feel like I failed and it would feel like an accomplishment...i wish you the best huns after all this pain we deserve happiness...i have to wait for some test to be done to start trying again :(.


DueSeptember said:


> angel jayvian said:
> 
> 
> :( that's what I'm doing right now crying is so unfair I don't have my baby n all my friends and cousins are having their babies soon :'(..i just cant stop crying..im staying away from them not ready to see them yet..i ask myself will I ever be ???? This is so hard :(
> 
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> DueSeptember said:
> 
> 
> *
> 
> Usually I am okay at work but today I just cant stop crying
> 
> All my Friends are Having thier Healthy Babies I am the only one who Lost My Baby girl
> 
> I dont know where else to go or who to talk to *
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> *I know I thought it would get better but after seeing all the cute Babies it just reminds me of Her  I want another Baby so bad but I am scared and all i can do is pray...Hoping everything will turn out okay the next time...are you going to try again?*Click to expand...


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## kam78

Sending loves your way tonight .... :friends:


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## DueSeptember

angel jayvian said:


> Yess I want a baby so bad I think it would make this pain alil better not completely but it would make it so much easier since I feel like I failed and it would feel like an accomplishment...i wish you the best huns after all this pain we deserve happiness...i have to wait for some test to be done to start trying again :(.
> 
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> DueSeptember said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angel jayvian said:
> 
> 
> :( that's what I'm doing right now crying is so unfair I don't have my baby n all my friends and cousins are having their babies soon :'(..i just cant stop crying..im staying away from them not ready to see them yet..i ask myself will I ever be ???? This is so hard :(
> 
> 
> DueSeptember said:
> 
> 
> *
> 
> Usually I am okay at work but today I just cant stop crying
> 
> All my Friends are Having thier Healthy Babies I am the only one who Lost My Baby girl
> 
> I dont know where else to go or who to talk to *
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> *I know I thought it would get better but after seeing all the cute Babies it just reminds me of Her  I want another Baby so bad but I am scared and all i can do is pray...Hoping everything will turn out okay the next time...are you going to try again?*Click to expand...Click to expand...

*Awwww I know I had to have a LEEP done before we tried again I had it done Sept 14th now I wanna try again but My Man has his ups and downs some days like I do lol we want to try but I think he is scared like I am that it may happen again  *


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## kam78

I completely understand about the fear factoring in on deciding to TTC or not.. think most of us here are scared too death... I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE to TTC like NOW but my OH isn't ready, he's terrified and some days I'm on his page but most of the time, I'm ready..... Guess we'll see what's in the cards for me one day :flower:
You just keep talking with your OH , keep those lines of communication open... love and listen to each other .. one day, you guys both will just know... I am 6 months into this nightmare and still feels as day 1... I have better days more often but man when a bad one hits, it hits.. Still catches my breath to see preg women or a newborn, ecspecially a girl... and I often catch myself judging others right off the bat if they are preg or have a newborn and I hate that... 
I think this is be a life long haul and we all will have our ups and downs, but that's where we all come in... We're always here for each other and I love that...:hugs:

Your lil one is one lucky lil girl to have amazing, loving parents.... I always like to invision my Emma up playing with everyone elses baby... I like to think of them playing innocent childhood games, giggling, chasing each other around... I think I tell everyone this, but can't help it... It brings me such comfort....:hugs::hugs:


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## Hellylou

Sending hugs and love your way. :hugs::hugs: I had one of those days on Saturday. I got lower and lower til I went to bed, couldn't sleep, then I sat and cried my way through tissue after tissue til my whole face was swollen and a mess. 

I felt better when I woke the next morning, but I know that wont be the last of those moments. I hope you feel better today. We are all on this sad ride together. Seeing babies and pregnant women gets to me too. Just let yourself feel whatever you feel, because I think suppressing it makes it worse in the long term, so let it out here if you need to. We all understand. :hugs:


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## Andypanda6570

I think the worst is the part that nobody understands us :cry::cry::cry: There is nobody for me to talk to except here. People just can't understand why I am NOT over this :cry::cry::cry: I am so sick of trying to explain and you can't explain, they just don't know and that frustrates me a lot :growlmad: 
I think I may need to join a group, they offer one for free at the hospital, I looked into it but never went. I need to go I need to be around some people who know what i am feeling like :cry:
XOX Love To You All :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## kam78

Yes! Join Andrea and anyone else who has a group available to them.....

My local women's hospital offers a free group, they only meet once a month tho, I keep telling them they should just keep the doors open and set me up a cot! I'm movin in!! LOL

But, seriously, going to them and just being around "others" ...wow... I can't even begin explaining how MUCH it helps... 

All I wanna do is surround myself with "others"....either in RL or here.... It's sooo comforting ...

Hope all you beautiful momma's are having a wonderful day! Xoxo


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## DueSeptember

*I know I want to join the bereavement support group 1st and 3rd weds every month but I dont drive and the bus system in VA sucks! So I come on here and talk to all these wonderful women who have been there and knows exactly how I feel 

I know we never imagined on being here *


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## mhazzab

how are you feeling today? xx


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## DueSeptember

*I am feeling Better How are you? *


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## Nikki_d72

I hope you are feeling a little better today, hon. xxx


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## Nikki_d72

Haha, you beat me typing!


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## mhazzab

DueSeptember said:


> *I am feeling Better How are you? *

awww I'm glad you are feeling a bit better today :)

Me, I'm alright at the moment,,,not had a bad day for a while, so there must be one coming soon...?

xx


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## mhazzab

Nikki_d72 said:


> Haha, you beat me typing!

great minds think alike, Nikki, both of us checking in on DueSeptember at once! lol x


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## DueSeptember

mhazzab said:


> DueSeptember said:
> 
> 
> *I am feeling Better How are you? *
> 
> awww I'm glad you are feeling a bit better today :)
> 
> Me, I'm alright at the moment,,,not had a bad day for a while, so there must be one coming soon...?
> 
> xxClick to expand...

*Hope not  I am at work again until 10pm I think I have other stuff on my mind that is why I am not as sad as I was yesterday...this day has been going by kind of fast too..Been Busy I am so *


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## DueSeptember

Nikki_d72 said:


> Haha, you beat me typing!

*HAHA Thanks Ladies for checking on me...Wish we could all meet one day *


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## mhazzab

DueSeptember said:


> Nikki_d72 said:
> 
> 
> Haha, you beat me typing!
> 
> *HAHA Thanks Ladies for checking on me...Wish we could all meet one day *Click to expand...

well, that would be some trip...New Zealand, USA and Scotland - shall we meet in the middle somewhere? ;) xx


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## DueSeptember

mhazzab said:


> DueSeptember said:
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> Nikki_d72 said:
> 
> 
> Haha, you beat me typing!
> 
> *HAHA Thanks Ladies for checking on me...Wish we could all meet one day *Click to expand...
> 
> well, that would be some trip...New Zealand, USA and Scotland - shall we meet in the middle somewhere? ;) xxClick to expand...

*Sure why not hahahahaha =) I need a VACATION*


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## Nikki_d72

Me too, how about Hawaii?! God, I really would love to escape just now...


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## DueSeptember

Nikki_d72 said:


> Me too, how about Hawaii?! God, I really would love to escape just now...

*I was Born in Hawaii...Lets GOOOOOOO *


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## Andypanda6570

DueSeptember said:


> Nikki_d72 said:
> 
> 
> Me too, how about Hawaii?! God, I really would love to escape just now...
> 
> *I was Born in Hawaii...Lets GOOOOOOO *Click to expand...

I am cominggggggg tooooooooooooo :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance: :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## DueSeptember

*yayyy! Vacation time haha*


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## kam78

Hey wait.... I jumped in here at just the right time !!!:winkwink:

I see where all packing our bag for Hawaii?? Well, count me in as well..:happydance:

LOL!!:haha:


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## Andypanda6570

kam78 said:


> Hey wait.... I jumped in here at just the right time !!!:winkwink:
> 
> I see where all packing our bag for Hawaii?? Well, count me in as well..:happydance:
> 
> LOL!!:haha:

:happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:
Just the girls, no boys allowed :blush::blush: :dohh: :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## Nikki_d72

Me too!! Right, i'm off to buy a lottery ticket, surely I'm due some good luck and to be at the end of some good odds for a change?!


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## DueSeptember

Nikki_d72 said:


> Me too!! Right, i'm off to buy a lottery ticket, surely I'm due some good luck and to be at the end of some good odds for a change?!

*If you Win Buy all of our tickets HAHAHAHA Hawaii is EXPENSIVE!!!!*


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## Nikki_d72

DueSeptember said:


> Nikki_d72 said:
> 
> 
> Me too!! Right, i'm off to buy a lottery ticket, surely I'm due some good luck and to be at the end of some good odds for a change?!
> 
> *If you Win Buy all of our tickets HAHAHAHA Hawaii is EXPENSIVE!!!!*Click to expand...

Will do hun, though the NZ dollar isn't worth much, being an NZ millionaire wouldn't even make you proper rich anywhere else, except for maybe Samoa or Tonga or somewhere like that hehe. Fancy the Pacific islands instead? 

Did you grow up in Hawaii, or move to the States when you were very little?


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## DueSeptember

Nikki_d72 said:


> DueSeptember said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Nikki_d72 said:
> 
> 
> Me too!! Right, i'm off to buy a lottery ticket, surely I'm due some good luck and to be at the end of some good odds for a change?!
> 
> *If you Win Buy all of our tickets HAHAHAHA Hawaii is EXPENSIVE!!!!*Click to expand...
> 
> Will do hun, though the NZ dollar isn't worth much, being an NZ millionaire wouldn't even make you proper rich anywhere else, except for maybe Samoa or Tonga or somewhere like that hehe. Fancy the Pacific islands instead?
> 
> Did you grow up in Hawaii, or move to the States when you were very little?Click to expand...

*I was Born there and moved to CALIFORNIA left there when I was 4 years old and grew up in VIRGINIA and ready to move from out of here lol*


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## kam78

I have never been to Hawaii.... YET... Me and OH are planning on making a trip there this December...We'll see if we actually make it or not... Hope so but not gonna hold my breath... For some reason, I just ain't feeling it, YET... Gotta get out of this funk.....


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## DueSeptember

kam78 said:


> I have never been to Hawaii.... YET... Me and OH are planning on making a trip there this December...We'll see if we actually make it or not... Hope so but not gonna hold my breath... For some reason, I just ain't feeling it, YET... Gotta get out of this funk.....

*Yea maybe you will TTC there lol j/p Hawaii is nice to visit and have vacation but I dont think I would live there *


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## DueSeptember

*Now I know why I was so Emotional AF has arrived yesterday lol I didnt get it last month because of my Surgery but now that it has it has hit me Hard Emotionally but I am feeling better now *


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## mhazzab

i see you have changed your profile pic - that's a lovely photo, little Maya is beautiful xxx


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## Andypanda6570

Maya is so beautiful :cloud9::cloud9::cloud9::cloud9::cloud9: How precious.. I am so glad you are feeling better... :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## DueSeptember

*Thanks Ladies I started a TTC Journal if you wanted to go read it =) I mentioned you all too haha *


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