# GD because of others!!



## Nikki1979

I feel so bad for feeling this way - am trying to get over it but it not working. I have 2 boys whom I love dearly. I didn't have GD when my 2nd one was born as it took a long time to conceive him and I was super elated to be given the chance at motherhood again. He is also a preemie which makes the guilt even worse. 

My hubby only has brothers and all his brothers have boys only. His younger brother announced that they are expecting and the baby is most likely is a girl ( they already have a 3 year old boy). My SIL said that in the first pregnancy she had no morning sickness/tiredness etc and this time she is vomitting continuously so doctor said its most likely a girl. At first I was happy for her but now she is making me feel bad for not having a girl. Keeps saying things like I got my girl but feel sorry for moms who are cursed with boys only. I consider my boys a blessing and she said something like " a son is a son until he takes a wife and a daughter is a daughter for life". 

Now I have this strong urge to have a baby girl. I get upset when I see little girls and since I am almost 38, the chances of me having a little girl is almost zero. I want to stop feeling like this and just want to be happy and content with my 2 boy. Any tips?


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## kat132

Just because she is being sick this time does not mean she is having a girl. People can have completely different pregnancies and be having the same gender, I did. 2 boys completely different pregnancies. 
I think people should keep their oppinions to theirselves. Boys are a blessing, we are responsible for bringing up good men in this world and maybe a husband for one of these peoples daughters!! I know many men that are close to their mum's. I TRY to ignore people that say things like that. What would she do if she had another boy? Feel like she is cursed??
I love my boys to the moon and back and I am pregnant with my 3rd! If it's another boy I will be happy and proud to be a mum of all boys. 
Don't let anyone make you question your life and your babies. 
Boys are great and love their mum's &#10084;


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## kat132

Plus girls are a pain in the bum &#65533;&#65533; i remember what I was like.


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## donnarobinson

I have three boys and there amazing &#10084;&#65039; It was other people's reactions that unsettled me most as well
I was upset to find baby 3 was another boy but he's amazing and I love having all boys now x


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## Wish85

Well first of all what a load of crap regarding the morning sickness theory. I had not a day of queasiness with my first DS however this pregnancy I was vomiting 4x a day and had to be medicated, also a boy :)

Secondly, your SIL's quote about son's vs daughters is pure ignorance. Whether my son's get married or not they will always be my sons. No-one can change that. If I was her I'd be careful what she says because there is no guarantee she IS having a girl. It's hasn't been confirmed.

Thirdly, I don't have any tips as such because I am completely thrilled to be having my second boy and have no desire to have a daughter but if you change your perspective to believe that our children choose us for a reason and not the other way around it is actually quite beautiful to think they chose us to learn their life lessons. If a girl/boy wants to incarnate with you as their parent, they will. I have always known having a girl was never on the cards for me and I accepted that a long time ago because I trust the universe has a plan for everyone. I tell myself every day what a privilege it is to be the one responsible for shaping good men because the world needs more of them.

Don't be hard on yourself and feel however you need to but if you take a step back, you will see how it really doesn't matter what gender our children are, they just want to be loved for who they are xx


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## Andypanda6570

Wish85 said:


> Well first of all what a load of crap regarding the morning sickness theory. I had not a day of queasiness with my first DS however this pregnancy I was vomiting 4x a day and had to be medicated, also a boy :)
> 
> Secondly, your SIL's quote about son's vs daughters is pure ignorance. Whether my son's get married or not they will always be my sons. No-one can change that. If I was her I'd be careful what she says because there is no guarantee she IS having a girl. It's hasn't been confirmed.
> 
> Thirdly, I don't have any tips as such because I am completely thrilled to be having my second boy and have no desire to have a daughter but if you change your perspective to believe that our children choose us for a reason and not the other way around it is actually quite beautiful to think they chose us to learn their life lessons. If a girl/boy wants to incarnate with you as their parent, they will. I have always known having a girl was never on the cards for me and I accepted that a long time ago because I trust the universe has a plan for everyone. I tell myself every day what a privilege it is to be the one responsible for shaping good men because the world needs more of them.
> 
> Don't be hard on yourself and feel however you need to but if you take a step back, you will see how it really doesn't matter what gender our children are, they just want to be loved for who they are xx

What a beautiful reply :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Wish85

Thanks Andy. Straight from the heart &#10084;&#65039;


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## Taurus8484

Hi Nikki.....know you from another thread we are on....and if sickness in pregnancy is a sign of a girl then my first should have been a girl. I have 2 boys, completely different pregnancies. DS1 I was vomiting until 16 weeks multiple times a day and developed pre eclampsia, foot problems, blood pressure problems, hip and back problems...second pregnancy perfect and didnt vomit once....all pregnancies are different

Mean of me but hope it pops out another boy....teach her to keep her mouth quiet


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## Nikki1979

kat132 said:


> Plus girls are a pain in the bum &#65533;&#65533; i remember what I was like.

I was a good teenager but my sister on the other hand was a pain in the ****. My parents had many sleepless nights because of her :haha:


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## Nikki1979

Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. Honestly, I didn't have GD when my baby was born. I was infact happy to have given my Older ds a baby brother. Its when people make stupid comments, it makes you feel like you are missing out on something. The past days I have been feeling a lot better. My little one started saying "mama" and its so adorable when he calls out to me. I suppose people can only upset me if I let them.


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## Nikki1979

Taurus8484 said:


> Hi Nikki.....know you from another thread we are on....and if sickness in pregnancy is a sign of a girl then my first should have been a girl. I have 2 boys, completely different pregnancies. DS1 I was vomiting until 16 weeks multiple times a day and developed pre eclampsia, foot problems, blood pressure problems, hip and back problems...second pregnancy perfect and didnt vomit once....all pregnancies are different
> 
> Mean of me but hope it pops out another boy....teach her to keep her mouth quiet

NO not mean of you. Sometimes I feel that too but my MIL doesn't have a daughter so it would be nice if she atleast gets a granddaughter.If my SIL has a girl, she will so smug and will just rub it in our faces.


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## Nikki1979

donnarobinson said:


> I have three boys and there amazing &#10084;&#65039; It was other people's reactions that unsettled me most as well
> I was upset to find baby 3 was another boy but he's amazing and I love having all boys now x

Your little boy is so cute <3


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## Nikki1979

Double post


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## Nikki1979

Wish85 said:


> Well first of all what a load of crap regarding the morning sickness theory. I had not a day of queasiness with my first DS however this pregnancy I was vomiting 4x a day and had to be medicated, also a boy :)
> 
> Secondly, your SIL's quote about son's vs daughters is pure ignorance. Whether my son's get married or not they will always be my sons. No-one can change that. If I was her I'd be careful what she says because there is no guarantee she IS having a girl. It's hasn't been confirmed.
> 
> Thirdly, I don't have any tips as such because I am completely thrilled to be having my second boy and have no desire to have a daughter but if you change your perspective to believe that our children choose us for a reason and not the other way around it is actually quite beautiful to think they chose us to learn their life lessons. If a girl/boy wants to incarnate with you as their parent, they will. I have always known having a girl was never on the cards for me and I accepted that a long time ago because I trust the universe has a plan for everyone. I tell myself every day what a privilege it is to be the one responsible for shaping good men because the world needs more of them.
> 
> Don't be hard on yourself and feel however you need to but if you take a step back, you will see how it really doesn't matter what gender our children are, they just want to be loved for who they are xx

Congrats on finding out you are having a second boy. You are right, gender doesnt determine whether you are close to your mom or not. My sister and I were closer to my dad and my younger brother whose 23 would do anything for my mom. Once my mom sprained her ankle and he kept calling and reminding my sister to call her to make her feel better.

Thanks again for replying.


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## donnarobinson

Nikki1979 said:


> donnarobinson said:
> 
> 
> I have three boys and there amazing &#10084;&#65039; It was other people's reactions that unsettled me most as well
> I was upset to find baby 3 was another boy but he's amazing and I love having all boys now x
> 
> Your little boy is so cute <3Click to expand...

Thank you Hun x


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## Wish85

Nikki1979 said:


> Wish85 said:
> 
> 
> Well first of all what a load of crap regarding the morning sickness theory. I had not a day of queasiness with my first DS however this pregnancy I was vomiting 4x a day and had to be medicated, also a boy :)
> 
> Secondly, your SIL's quote about son's vs daughters is pure ignorance. Whether my son's get married or not they will always be my sons. No-one can change that. If I was her I'd be careful what she says because there is no guarantee she IS having a girl. It's hasn't been confirmed.
> 
> Thirdly, I don't have any tips as such because I am completely thrilled to be having my second boy and have no desire to have a daughter but if you change your perspective to believe that our children choose us for a reason and not the other way around it is actually quite beautiful to think they chose us to learn their life lessons. If a girl/boy wants to incarnate with you as their parent, they will. I have always known having a girl was never on the cards for me and I accepted that a long time ago because I trust the universe has a plan for everyone. I tell myself every day what a privilege it is to be the one responsible for shaping good men because the world needs more of them.
> 
> Don't be hard on yourself and feel however you need to but if you take a step back, you will see how it really doesn't matter what gender our children are, they just want to be loved for who they are xx
> 
> Congrats on finding out you are having a second boy. You are right, gender doesnt determine whether you are close to your mom or not. My sister and I were closer to my dad and my younger brother whose 23 would do anything for my mom. Once my mom sprained her ankle and he kept calling and reminding my sister to call her to make her feel better.
> 
> Thanks again for replying.Click to expand...

Absolutely. There are no guarantees with anything in life that's why it's better to accept that there are some things out of our control and it's for a reason. Your SIL might have the only granddaughter and she turns out to be a nightmare and butts heads with your SIL or clash with your MIL. You just never know. 

She can't be smug and rub it in your face if you don't believe she has a reason to. Tell her you are completely happy with the cards you've been dealt and you don't feel you are missing out on anything by not having a daughter. It's the truth. 

We all needed men to even have our children so they are important lol..our kids won't be kids forever...they will grow into men and women so the gender is really irrelevant.


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## Jessicahide

Nikki1979 said:


> I feel so bad for feeling this way - am trying to get over it but it not working. I have 2 boys whom I love dearly. I didn't have GD when my 2nd one was born as it took a long time to conceive him and I was super elated to be given the chance at motherhood again. He is also a preemie which makes the guilt even worse.
> 
> My hubby only has brothers and all his brothers have boys only. His younger brother announced that they are expecting and the baby is most likely is a girl ( they already have a 3 year old boy). My SIL said that in the first pregnancy she had no morning sickness/tiredness etc and this time she is vomitting continuously so doctor said its most likely a girl. At first I was happy for her but now she is making me feel bad for not having a girl. Keeps saying things like I got my girl but feel sorry for moms who are cursed with boys only. I consider my boys a blessing and she said something like " a son is a son until he takes a wife and a daughter is a daughter for life".
> 
> Now I have this strong urge to have a baby girl. I get upset when I see little girls and since I am almost 38, the chances of me having a little girl is almost zero. I want to stop feeling like this and just want to be happy and content with my 2 boy. Any tips?


Sorry to burst her bubble but she is talking absolute crap. First off a doc has no reason to guess the gender of a child.... Just not going to happen. Second, i had 4 boys all different symptoms, except the last boy i had no sickness at all.... with dd i had minimal too.... Nothing to do with gender.... 

Please don't let people put pressure on you xxxxxxx Your baby is whoever they are, the important part is, they are yours xxxxxx


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## maybebaby3

The sickest I've been is with my youngest son! Not my daughter! Maybe she's having a girl maybe she's not but morning sickness doesn't dictate gender!


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## maryanne1987

I've had hg in all of my pregnancies except for my last. Yet I had, boy, girl, girl, boy. Morning sickness in no way dictates what gender baby you may be carrying. I'm absolutely shocked any doctor would say otherwise. I'd recommend for her to find a new doctor as I certainly wouldn't be happy to have my treatment provided by someone who speaks absolute nonsense.

Don't let others spoil your happiness and put pressure on you x


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## hello_kitty

I also have 2 boys and now pregnant again. MS doesnt really say anything. I had morning sickness with my first baby and lost 6 lbs first trimester. At times, I really thought he could be a girl, but nope, u/s said he was a boy. Second time, no morning sickness, and he was a boy. SO each pregnancy is different. I kind of have a feeling this one will be another boy, and there probably will be some disappointment especially from others, but its ok. In the end, its still YOUR child, despite the gender. I keep telling myself daily, despite the outcome I will love this child to death.


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## Nikki1979

I am guessing that since because she is having severe morning sickness, the doctor must have said something like " it must be a girl with all the sickness" and she is going around telling people that she is definitely having a girl. She is crazy like that.


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## Wish85

Nikki1979 said:


> I am guessing that since because she is having severe morning sickness, the doctor must have said something like " it must be a girl with all the sickness" and she is going around telling people that she is definitely having a girl. She is crazy like that.

Or the Dr didn't actually say anything at all about the sickness. Your SIL just said the Dr did so it sounded more plausible!


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## Boo44

I'm a theee boy mummy and I know what you mean SILs are tricky creatures!! My OH is one of theee boys. His younger brother got married and had their first child before me and OH were even married. I will distinctly remember for the rest of my life SIL saying to me on the day their first son was born "you'll give them (MIL/FIL) the first girl I just know you will". Bearing in mind I wasn't even married or thought of kids or anything! I didn't think much of it then. Since then she had a GIRL then another boy. And we went on to have three boys after she'd already had the girl. I often think back to her saying that and resent her. Because it just shows me how snug she must have felt when she had a girl. Actually the in laws are great and adore every single grandchild 5 boys and 1 girl! And the girl doesn't get any preferential treatment really at all that I've ever seen. 

I'm perfectly happy (actually the right word is hard to explain - maybe ecstatic!! my children came from God and how could I ever want anything different than my very own sons?!) with my angels they are perfect. But I had to tell you this story and that I agree other people can make you feel bad things that you never felt in the first place!!


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## Nikki1979

Boo44 said:


> I'm a theee boy mummy and I know what you mean SILs are tricky creatures!! My OH is one of theee boys. His younger brother got married and had their first child before me and OH were even married. I will distinctly remember for the rest of my life SIL saying to me on the day their first son was born "you'll give them (MIL/FIL) the first girl I just know you will". Bearing in mind I wasn't even married or thought of kids or anything! I didn't think much of it then. Since then she had a GIRL then another boy. And we went on to have three boys after she'd already had the girl. I often think back to her saying that and resent her. Because it just shows me how snug she must have felt when she had a girl. Actually the in laws are great and adore every single grandchild 5 boys and 1 girl! And the girl doesn't get any preferential treatment really at all that I've ever seen.
> 
> I'm perfectly happy (actually the right word is hard to explain - maybe ecstatic!! my children came from God and how could I ever want anything different than my very own sons?!) with my angels they are perfect. But I had to tell you this story and that I agree other people can make you feel bad things that you never felt in the first place!!

Thanks for the reply. Unfortunately I do know that if my SIL has a girl she will be treated better and so will her baby. My MIL has always openly showed favoritism towards her because she has brain washed MIL and infront of MIL she is a totally different person. Doesnt bother us but I just don't want the other grand sons to feel left out through no fault of their own and just for being boys. Mother in Law will lose out in the end if her grandsons ( 6 of them) start resenting her. You are lucky that your inlaws are fair..my father in law knows what younger SIL is up to so he talk to her much and is fair with all kids.

The positive in all this is that atleast I know how not to behave with my daughter in laws :)


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## Nikki1979

Wish85 said:


> Nikki1979 said:
> 
> 
> I am guessing that since because she is having severe morning sickness, the doctor must have said something like " it must be a girl with all the sickness" and she is going around telling people that she is definitely having a girl. She is crazy like that.
> 
> Or the Dr didn't actually say anything at all about the sickness. Your SIL just said the Dr did so it sounded more plausible!Click to expand...

Yeah could be true...she has made up stuff before as well.


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## Jessicahide

I always thought my mother would favour a granddaughter, partially as she hates men and also because she told me she would. But funnily enough she still has her clear fave, my second son, ds1 has autism so is a bit difficult, ds3 is a complete daddy's boy and dd1 looks a bit like her dad....... What can you say really!!


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## Boo44

Jessicahide said:


> I always thought my mother would favour a granddaughter, partially as she hates men and also because she told me she would. But funnily enough she still has her clear fave, my second son, ds1 has autism so is a bit difficult, ds3 is a complete daddy's boy and dd1 looks a bit like her dad....... What can you say really!!

Funny isn't it! I've always thought the one my in-laws give the most special treatment to is SIL's youngest son. Who is the in-laws 4th grandchild and third grandson. He is younger than my oldest, but older than my younger two. Makes no sense at all to me as actually he's not even cute lol. And he's a bit naughty. But they often say things like 'X gives the best cuddles' blah blah blah. It's very easy not to be jealous about this as I can clearly see the others are much nicer haha. My older nephew and niece are lovely little kids. In laws are odd aren't they xx


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## Johnsa37

Wish85 said:


> Well first of all what a load of crap regarding the morning sickness theory. I had not a day of queasiness with my first DS however this pregnancy I was vomiting 4x a day and had to be medicated, also a boy :)
> 
> Secondly, your SIL's quote about son's vs daughters is pure ignorance. Whether my son's get married or not they will always be my sons. No-one can change that. If I was her I'd be careful what she says because there is no guarantee she IS having a girl. It's hasn't been confirmed.
> 
> Thirdly, I don't have any tips as such because I am completely thrilled to be having my second boy and have no desire to have a daughter but if you change your perspective to believe that our children choose us for a reason and not the other way around it is actually quite beautiful to think they chose us to learn their life lessons. If a girl/boy wants to incarnate with you as their parent, they will. I have always known having a girl was never on the cards for me and I accepted that a long time ago because I trust the universe has a plan for everyone. I tell myself every day what a privilege it is to be the one responsible for shaping good men because the world needs more of them.
> 
> Don't be hard on yourself and feel however you need to but if you take a step back, you will see how it really doesn't matter what gender our children are, they just want to be loved for who they are xx

This was amazing. Just what I needed to read. Thank you!


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## WackyMumof2

kat132 said:


> Just because she is being sick this time does not mean she is having a girl. People can have completely different pregnancies and be having the same gender, I did. 2 boys completely different pregnancies.

I also thought the same thing. My first 2 son's my pregnancies were almost identical so when I found out I was pregnant with DS3, I honestly thought he was a girl because my pregnancy was so different. 

I've got 3 boys and I am happy! I only went ahead with pregnancy #4 because hubby has always wanted to try for a girl and I'd promised him if he got 3 boys I'd try once more. If he gets a 4th son, that's it for us. God had other ideas. Don't let everyone question what you are happy with. <3 Are you really content with your 2 boys or would you like a 3rd child (regardless of sex)? Only you and your hubby can really answer that. There is too much emphasis on a family not being 'complete' without at least one of each sex. If a 3rd baby feels right, go for it. If your happy, stay as 4. <3


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## WackyMumof2

Some families seem to have dominant sexes though out the generations too. Not too sure if there is any truth in the genetics but it does make on wonder. :) Hubby's father's side is more girls and generally one boy per family so the fact that we have 3 boys makes us wonder if it is a generational thing or not.


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## Nikki1979

Sorry I didnt update. My SIL ended up having a boy. He sure is a little cutie. I think my hubbies side of the family is male dominant and my side is female.


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## hello_kitty

I feel sorry for her since she clearly wanted a girl, but I thought it was kind of ignorant how she went around saying she was definitely having a girl in the beginning.


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## Nikki1979

I know. I was happy for her when they said that there is a strong possibility that they might hv a girl but was wrong of her to say that boy moms are cursed. Thats wat got to me. Anyway seeing the baby with his cuteness, I am sure all her Gd dissapeared or lessened. Once you hold your little one, you wouldnt have it any other way .


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## nicem815

Nikki1979 said:


> I feel so bad for feeling this way - am trying to get over it but it not working. I have 2 boys whom I love dearly. I didn't have GD when my 2nd one was born as it took a long time to conceive him and I was super elated to be given the chance at motherhood again. He is also a preemie which makes the guilt even worse.
> 
> My hubby only has brothers and all his brothers have boys only. His younger brother announced that they are expecting and the baby is most likely is a girl ( they already have a 3 year old boy). My SIL said that in the first pregnancy she had no morning sickness/tiredness etc and this time she is vomitting continuously so doctor said its most likely a girl. At first I was happy for her but now she is making me feel bad for not having a girl. Keeps saying things like I got my girl but feel sorry for moms who are cursed with boys only. I consider my boys a blessing and she said something like " a son is a son until he takes a wife and a daughter is a daughter for life".
> 
> Now I have this strong urge to have a baby girl. I get upset when I see little girls and since I am almost 38, the chances of me having a little girl is almost zero. I want to stop feeling like this and just want to be happy and content with my 2 boy. Any tips?


Her comments are silly! Try not to take them personally. You can have ALL the symptoms that you're having a boy or girl, and have the exact opposite. Lots of people thought I was having a boy this time because I'm carrying differently, but I'm having another girl! 

I was initially shocked when I found out I was having another girl, but now I'm excited. This is what I have realized: all of the things people say about boys leaving after marriage, or all girls being so difficult---that's just nonsense. Look, KIDS will ALL have their good moments and bad moments. If you raise your children with love, kindness, closeness and respect--they will most likely want a relationship with you as they age--no matter their gender!


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