# Ultimate Venting Thread



## wonderstars

$%()*#$#)(*@#

I don't even know what swear that it. 

Seriously, another Facebook announcement?! This one isn't even after the first trimester, it's a freakin' 10DPO strip!!! :growlmad:

Come on period, let's get this Selective Salpingogram going. I need to know if it's clomid or IVF. Aargh.



If anyone wants to go next, please do. :blush:


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## Armywife84

Screw "Brag Book", the world functioned just fine without it!:finger:

My rant: Just bitchy because the :witch: is taking her sweet time to get here. Took a test 4 days ago and of course it was :bfn:..8 days late :growlmad:! To top it off, I'm turning 27 next Friday. I'd be happy with nothing materialistic for Christmas, and just a :bfp:!! 

When is it going to be MY time???!!! :brat:

Next!


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## no_regrets_91

someone just posted on facebook that they are having twins! she has only been with the guy for 3 months! then i was bitching to another friend about it and she told me I was making everyone around me miserable. she then preceded to tell me the pain I was going through was comparable to people being mean to her in high-school and to her getting pregnant on accident in college when she didnt want a baby. some friend huh.


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## no_regrets_91

also I forgot to add where the hell is af? She always comes on the third day after the last pill of provera. Well that was today... and I am not even cramping! I want to start injectables!!! ugh


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## wonderstars

Wow, what a bee-yotch! Some people just need a good slap. :ninja:


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## katherine1985

not only do i have people on facebook rub in there bfp's to me i have people at work constantly getting pregnant !!!!

and if i get one more person tell me it's about time i give me son a brother or sister I'm going to scream I'M TRYING !!!!! 

That feels much better :thumbup:


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## Armywife84

One more...

I wish I was still in TTC and not failed into LTTC. *Sigh*


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## lovie

My new years resolution last year was to get pregnant, i failed :(


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## mjemma

Friend just announced her honeymoon baby on Facebook - grrrr. My sister is in labour right now. I am excited to meet my nephew but not looking forward to the maternity ward.


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## Skoer1360

:brat: Whyyyyyy wont the Clomid work like it's supposed to?!?!? I started spotting 5 days before my period last month (9dpo) and this month looks like it's going to be the same :sad1: Started spottting yesterday at 11 dpo though.. probably will for another day or two then call my Dr to figure out what the HELL is going on.

Also: I am NOT looking forward to Christmas, SIL asked only for baby stuff! :nope: that was supposed to be us! :gun:


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## Xenia

Ok, I'm next.

I £"%$&%$ hate ttc. hate hate hate hate it.
In fact I hate it so much I'm not going to bother this month. If I don't try, then I won't think I am, so I won't get my hopes up over xmas!!

There, that feels better.


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## Armywife84

Skoer1360 said:


> :brat: Whyyyyyy wont the Clomid work like it's supposed to?!?!? I started spotting 5 days before my period last month (9dpo) and this month looks like it's going to be the same :sad1: Started spottting yesterday at 11 dpo though.. probably will for another day or two then call my Dr to figure out what the HELL is going on.
> 
> Also: I am NOT looking forward to Christmas, SIL asked only for baby stuff! :nope: that was supposed to be us! :gun:

:hugs: Talk about a kick to the ovaries! I would just send DH to get her a gift card to some baby store.


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## Armywife84

Sorry, taking another turn. 

Just logged onto Brag Book to see a huge 3D ultrasound pic. It's a friend I went to school with and his new finance's baby. I bet I know why they got engaged :growlmad:. Yeah, like that marriage is going to last. 

Either, I'm going to delete all the pregnant ones off and be left with 0 friends..or I'm going to eventually cave and delete my Brag book.


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## wonderstars

Seriously, you don't have to post a new f'n photo every f'n day of your newborn!!!!

And I'm spotting again, 5 days before. This B Complex helped my energy but did diddly squat for the spotting. 


Aaaargh. I'm so tired of this. :(


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## wonderstars

And today I have to add another one to my low day. Trying to plan a get together with my girlfriends and I just feel left out. I love them and I know they're all excited but even in emails, I just feel like the 5th wheel: two pregnant women, two moms and me.

:cry:

Can't it just be my turn to have something good? I told them I'm tentatively planning a trip to Vegas and I may not be able to make it (which we actually were in the summer cause DH's mom has a condo there).


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## phoenixrose

I like this thread!! My turn...in the 2 years we have been ttc a previous grad school classmate of mine moved from Miami to New York, made new friends, met a guy, got married, and then suddenly posted a pic of her new baby boy 6 months later on Facebook & no one even knew she was prego (at least now I know why she got married so quickly). I was so livid I almost threw my phone across the room. And another one got married, bought a house, and is now 5 months pregnant.


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## Skoer1360

Armywife84 said:


> Skoer1360 said:
> 
> 
> :brat: Whyyyyyy wont the Clomid work like it's supposed to?!?!? I started spotting 5 days before my period last month (9dpo) and this month looks like it's going to be the same :sad1: Started spottting yesterday at 11 dpo though.. probably will for another day or two then call my Dr to figure out what the HELL is going on.
> 
> Also: I am NOT looking forward to Christmas, SIL asked only for baby stuff! :nope: that was supposed to be us! :gun:
> 
> :hugs: Talk about a kick to the ovaries! I would just send DH to get her a gift card to some baby store.Click to expand...

Ya, I'm thinking that's what is going to happen though we do the "everyone takes turns opening their presents while people watch" so I'll just have to grin and bear it anyway.. ](*,)


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## Armywife84

Skoer1360 said:


> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Skoer1360 said:
> 
> 
> :brat: Whyyyyyy wont the Clomid work like it's supposed to?!?!? I started spotting 5 days before my period last month (9dpo) and this month looks like it's going to be the same :sad1: Started spottting yesterday at 11 dpo though.. probably will for another day or two then call my Dr to figure out what the HELL is going on.
> 
> Also: I am NOT looking forward to Christmas, SIL asked only for baby stuff! :nope: that was supposed to be us! :gun:
> 
> :hugs: Talk about a kick to the ovaries! I would just send DH to get her a gift card to some baby store.Click to expand...
> 
> Ya, I'm thinking that's what is going to happen though we do the "everyone takes turns opening their presents while people watch" so I'll just have to grin and bear it anyway.. ](*,)Click to expand...

Torturous! So sorry dear that you have to bear that, you have my full sympathy.


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## Armywife84

I really just can't stand going to the market and seeing girls who look like they're 12 (ok they're at least 18) with a 3yr old and a 6 month old!! How is that even right, they're children themselves! :hissy:


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## jensha

Oh!!!!! I hear you all about the pregnancies on Facebook! It seems like I have tons of friends who are pregnant. 

I think I got kinda pissed off when my cousin announced that she was preggo with twins 2 months after I saw her. At that time, she told me she was having problems in her marriage. I would have expected more a ''get divorced'' announcement rather than a pregnancy. And she also said she didn't want to have another kid. :growlmad:


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## wonderstars

Skoer1360 said:


> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Skoer1360 said:
> 
> 
> :brat: Whyyyyyy wont the Clomid work like it's supposed to?!?!? I started spotting 5 days before my period last month (9dpo) and this month looks like it's going to be the same :sad1: Started spottting yesterday at 11 dpo though.. probably will for another day or two then call my Dr to figure out what the HELL is going on.
> 
> Also: I am NOT looking forward to Christmas, SIL asked only for baby stuff! :nope: that was supposed to be us! :gun:
> 
> :hugs: Talk about a kick to the ovaries! I would just send DH to get her a gift card to some baby store.Click to expand...
> 
> Ya, I'm thinking that's what is going to happen though we do the "everyone takes turns opening their presents while people watch" so I'll just have to grin and bear it anyway.. ](*,)Click to expand...

This is where I'd do the whole...."our car died, you guys go ahead and start opening presents, we'll join you when we get there...."

:winkwink:


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## berki

Oh hello facebook. Your baby is now the size of a grapefruit? Really, thats great.. hide posts... Oh hell facebook. so and so is now 16 weeks along in her pregnancy and baby is now.. blah blah....
My Fun social facebook has seriously turned into Baby brag book...

Bitter??! I think a little... hahaha!!!!


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## Armywife84

Oh that's a wonderful excuse!


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## cooch

I know how you guys are feeling. 

My biggest thing is people who tell you one thing then suddenly they're preggo. Like my friend who I though I was safe to be around as she so didn't want any more within the near future- guess what she got preggo the month she said that to me. It makes me sick.

I wish people just wouldn't lie I have been pretty honest with my friends and would expect it back. F*cking *rse!!!


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## Armywife84

Oh I was browsing Brag Book and checking on my SIL (that I like), since they just moved back out to Virginia. I looked at one picture of my niece who was dragging her baby doll and the caption read, "I hope she doesn't do this someday when she's a big sister". 

She's not pregnant because her husband hasn't gotten back from his deployment yet. My heart sank because I know it's only a matter of time before she is pregnant with baby #2. While I'm still stuck with 0. :cry: :cry: 

I want my :bfp: next, it's still my turn!! :cry:


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## Skoer1360

wonderstars said:


> Skoer1360 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Skoer1360 said:
> 
> 
> :brat: Whyyyyyy wont the Clomid work like it's supposed to?!?!? I started spotting 5 days before my period last month (9dpo) and this month looks like it's going to be the same :sad1: Started spottting yesterday at 11 dpo though.. probably will for another day or two then call my Dr to figure out what the HELL is going on.
> 
> Also: I am NOT looking forward to Christmas, SIL asked only for baby stuff! :nope: that was supposed to be us! :gun:
> 
> :hugs: Talk about a kick to the ovaries! I would just send DH to get her a gift card to some baby store.Click to expand...
> 
> Ya, I'm thinking that's what is going to happen though we do the "everyone takes turns opening their presents while people watch" so I'll just have to grin and bear it anyway.. ](*,)Click to expand...
> 
> This is where I'd do the whole...."our car died, you guys go ahead and start opening presents, we'll join you when we get there...."
> 
> :winkwink:Click to expand...

:haha: That's a good one!!!

ArmyWife: :hugs:


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## jensha

Cooch: exactly! 

Armywife84: :hugs:

Lots of :dust: to all!


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## doopersgurl

hey ladies hope you dont mind me joining me and oh have been ttc for 1 LONG year...
im seriously getting down i find myself crying cos....
1. my bro (19yrs old) & gf (19yrs old) is pregnant
2. my cousin (18yrs old) pregnant
3. manager at work just gave birth
4. another women at work (24weeks pregnant) and playing up
5. another (18yr old) girlat work newly pregnant!!!!!

WHERES MINE!!!!

i know it sounds spoilt but its not fair i have been waiting so long and ow all these lot are rubbing it in tooo much!!!

im not usually a jealous person but i am whens kids are having kids


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## wonderstars

It's perfectly reasonable to be jealous doopers! It's the reason I'm not joining my girlfriends this year, the first time in nearly 17 years.

Gawd, must be something in the world's water supply. Everyone is pregnant!


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## Armywife84

Even a girl with cystic fibrosis can have a honeymoon baby!! One of the effects of having cystic fibrosis is infertility. 

Don't get me wrong, I hope everything goes great for her since she has a low life expectancy. But come on! 

FML, I feel pathetic.


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## wonderstars

Yep, me too.

I just feel so left out right now. All my girlfriends are planning a Christmas get together and I know they don't mean to be insensitive but don't keep including me in a thread joking about what not to bring because the girls are pregnant. Yep, 2 of you have kids, 2 are pregnant but I'M NOT. I love you girls but *&$) have some decency!

:cry:


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## wonderstars

Ooops I was so ticked off I double posted. :blush:


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## Armywife84

:haha: It's ok, I'm in a bad mood too. And i just received my boots for my AF treat/birthday present! :wacko:

I agree, they should have some sort of freaking respect!! It's not fair that our feelings always get shafted :hugs:.


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## doopersgurl

wonderstars said:


> Yep, me too.
> 
> I just feel so left out right now. All my girlfriends are planning a Christmas get together and I know they don't mean to be insensitive but don't keep including me in a thread joking about what not to bring because the girls are pregnant. Yep, 2 of you have kids, 2 are pregnant but I'M NOT. I love you girls but *&$) have some decency!
> 
> :cry:


that is insensitive i wouldnt go either hence why im not going to my works meal as all 3 preggers girls are going so im just going to my other halfs.

lets hope we wont have to wait alot longer cos tbh its getting me down alot i find myself thinking about it constantly.

:flower:


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## doopersgurl

Armywife84 said:


> :haha: It's ok, I'm in a bad mood too. And i just received my boots for my AF treat/birthday present! :wacko:
> 
> I agree, they should have some sort of freaking respect!! It's not fair that our feelings always get shafted :hugs:.


well said..... the people with their babies dont care that we havent,
that bothers me alot.
i feel like shouting shut the hell up! 

lol :thumbup:


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## Armywife84

doopersgurl said:


> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> :haha: It's ok, I'm in a bad mood too. And i just received my boots for my AF treat/birthday present! :wacko:
> 
> I agree, they should have some sort of freaking respect!! It's not fair that our feelings always get shafted :hugs:.
> 
> 
> well said..... the people with their babies dont care that we havent,
> that bothers me alot.
> i feel like shouting shut the hell up!
> 
> lol :thumbup:Click to expand...

Oh I agree! 


RANT: My NYE's resolution (besides getting pregnant) is to delete my Fertile Book. 

I logged onto today to get slapped with baby shower pictures (didn't see that coming) and a, "I forgot I can't color my hair because I'm expecting" status. :growlmad: Way to start my day off! 

Trying to stay positive is such work :wacko:.


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## doopersgurl

Armywife84 said:


> doopersgurl said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> :haha: It's ok, I'm in a bad mood too. And i just received my boots for my AF treat/birthday present! :wacko:
> 
> I agree, they should have some sort of freaking respect!! It's not fair that our feelings always get shafted :hugs:.
> 
> 
> well said..... the people with their babies dont care that we havent,
> that bothers me alot.
> i feel like shouting shut the hell up!
> 
> lol :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> Oh I agree!
> 
> 
> RANT: My NYE's resolution (besides getting pregnant) is to delete my Fertile Book.
> 
> I logged onto today to get slapped with baby shower pictures (didn't see that coming) and a, "I forgot I can't color my hair because I'm expecting" status. :growlmad: Way to start my day off!
> 
> Trying to stay positive is such work :wacko:.Click to expand...


yes staying positive is hard. i went girly shopping with my mum last week and normally i let things go over my head but she started telling me my cousin who is 18 is now preg and that was it i just blurted out that me and dean had been trying for a year and nothing so could she kindly keep other pregnancies to hear self lol 

i know it was wrong and selfish of me but at that time i just snapped :S

i did apologize afterwards


hows you both feeling now???


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## Faylinameir

RANT? Oh boy I have so much of that in my head, lets see where to start (remember you asked for it ;) )

okay so lets start off by pointing to my siggy, been trying for over 7 years now to have a baby (since the day we got married), 7 years, 3 months, 2 weeks and 6 days ago... :growlmad: Since I've been 14 until about 3 months ago I was CONSTANTLY bleeding, I've never had the pleasure of a normal period. Then my cycle I thought was normalizing, and now I haven't had anything close to a period since the end of September! :growlmad: all the tests are BFN, I've got symptoms but at this point my husband just thinks im crazy, and you know I'm starting to believe him! After :sex: on the 4th, I had some massive pain around my ovaries, and when I wiped in the bathroom I was BRIGHT and boy do I mean BRIGHT colored blood and there was a decent amount but it went away in 30 mins. (don't mean to be vivid but I'm confused) so I dunno WTH that was. So as of my test tonight, :bfn:

I've had ATLEAST 4 that never stuck, 2 that I had issues with so 6 total. 

My last major issue was a miscarriage on THANKSGIVING 6 years ago, the same day my shit of a brother/sister -inlaw announced they were going to have a baby. For almost 9 months all she talked about what how it was a dumb mistake and how she got drunk and forgot her pill and she didn't want to have a baby, it was gonna upset her lifestyle. As I'm sitting here in pain everytime I'm around her because I'm Jealous. Whenever someone I know announces they are having a baby I start crying because I wonder what the hell is so wrong with me I can't ever have one! :cry: I'm an amazing step mom, everyone around me tells me so and my step son loves me to pieces, even HE has been bothering me lately says "mommy... when am I going to have a brother.. or I'd even deal with a sister". Last time he asked me I just started crying... and he knows all about our problem, but then I felt bad because I upset a 12 year old. :cry:

I've even lost 50 pounds in the past year, DAMNIT nothing it working...

I could go on but I'm actually depressing myself now :growlmad::nope:

I have an appointment at a nearly free clinic today for my back problem, and I'm tempted to start asking them about fertility stuff but they are just a very basic place and probably couldn't/wouldn't help me anyways, so I'm lost and alone LOL


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## doopersgurl

Faylinameir said:


> RANT? Oh boy I have so much of that in my head, lets see where to start (remember you asked for it ;) )
> 
> okay so lets start off by pointing to my siggy, been trying for over 7 years now to have a baby (since the day we got married), 7 years, 3 months, 2 weeks and 6 days ago... :growlmad: Since I've been 14 until about 3 months ago I was CONSTANTLY bleeding, I've never had the pleasure of a normal period. Then my cycle I thought was normalizing, and now I haven't had anything close to a period since the end of September! :growlmad: all the tests are BFN, I've got symptoms but at this point my husband just thinks im crazy, and you know I'm starting to believe him! After :sex: on the 4th, I had some massive pain around my ovaries, and when I wiped in the bathroom I was BRIGHT and boy do I mean BRIGHT colored blood and there was a decent amount but it went away in 30 mins. (don't mean to be vivid but I'm confused) so I dunno WTH that was. So as of my test tonight, :bfn:
> 
> I've had ATLEAST 4 that never stuck, 2 that I had issues with so 6 total.
> 
> My last major issue was a miscarriage on THANKSGIVING 6 years ago, the same day my shit of a brother/sister -inlaw announced they were going to have a baby. For almost 9 months all she talked about what how it was a dumb mistake and how she got drunk and forgot her pill and she didn't want to have a baby, it was gonna upset her lifestyle. As I'm sitting here in pain everytime I'm around her because I'm Jealous. Whenever someone I know announces they are having a baby I start crying because I wonder what the hell is so wrong with me I can't ever have one! :cry: I'm an amazing step mom, everyone around me tells me so and my step son loves me to pieces, even HE has been bothering me lately says "mommy... when am I going to have a brother.. or I'd even deal with a sister". Last time he asked me I just started crying... and he knows all about our problem, but then I felt bad because I upset a 12 year old. :cry:
> 
> I've even lost 50 pounds in the past year, DAMNIT nothing it working...
> 
> I could go on but I'm actually depressing myself now :growlmad::nope:
> 
> I have an appointment at a nearly free clinic today for my back problem, and I'm tempted to start asking them about fertility stuff but they are just a very basic place and probably couldn't/wouldn't help me anyways, so I'm lost and alone LOL


i think your in a big need for a hug hun :hugs:


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## Faylinameir

doopersgurl said:


> i think your in a big need for a hug hun :hugs:


aww ty :hugs:


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## doopersgurl

no worries us ladies gotta stick together :)


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## Armywife84

doopersgurl said:


> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> doopersgurl said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> :haha: It's ok, I'm in a bad mood too. And i just received my boots for my AF treat/birthday present! :wacko:
> 
> I agree, they should have some sort of freaking respect!! It's not fair that our feelings always get shafted :hugs:.
> 
> 
> well said..... the people with their babies dont care that we havent,
> that bothers me alot.
> i feel like shouting shut the hell up!
> 
> lol :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> Oh I agree!
> 
> 
> RANT: My NYE's resolution (besides getting pregnant) is to delete my Fertile Book.
> 
> I logged onto today to get slapped with baby shower pictures (didn't see that coming) and a, "I forgot I can't color my hair because I'm expecting" status. :growlmad: Way to start my day off!
> 
> Trying to stay positive is such work :wacko:.Click to expand...
> 
> 
> yes staying positive is hard. i went girly shopping with my mum last week and normally i let things go over my head but she started telling me my cousin who is 18 is now preg and that was it i just blurted out that me and dean had been trying for a year and nothing so could she kindly keep other pregnancies to hear self lol
> 
> i know it was wrong and selfish of me but at that time i just snapped :S
> 
> i did apologize afterwards
> 
> 
> hows you both feeling now???Click to expand...

Oh no, it wasn't wrong or selfish. That's how you feel! All those feelings get bottled up for so long then come bursting out. It happens, no worries. 

We can't slap on that fake face everyday and keep on pretending we're over the moon for pregnant women, when we're clearly not. I gave up pretending I was happy about the "exciting news" this past June. I don't even congratulate newly pregnant women (except for the LTTCers on BNB, I care about their :bfp:) anymore. Really can't be bothered with their new status, when I honestly don't give a damn they got a :bfp: after 3 whole months of marriage! You just can't be happy for every pregnant :mamafy:. I'm running short on happiness due to this infertility bullshit. 

Ugh, infertility puts me in this dark corner.


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## Faylinameir

so I went to a doctor today for my back issues and they started asking me if im having sex and if im on the pill and etc etc and i explained my period issues to my doctor and how no one has ever diagnosed me and i had an idea that I might have PCOS and she pretty much agreed with me. So around the beginning of the year if I'm still having issues we're gonna start working on my health issues starting with my lungs then (plus we're checking my blood for vitamins n lipids n such) she might put me on progesterone (officially) and MAYBE I can talk her into clomid or something, I know I'm only 24, but I just want ONE child, just ONE. If it takes ALL my eggs left in my body to get just one, would be more than worth it :thumbup:


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## wonderstars

Skoer1360 said:


> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Skoer1360 said:
> 
> 
> :brat: Whyyyyyy wont the Clomid work like it's supposed to?!?!? I started spotting 5 days before my period last month (9dpo) and this month looks like it's going to be the same :sad1: Started spottting yesterday at 11 dpo though.. probably will for another day or two then call my Dr to figure out what the HELL is going on.
> 
> Also: I am NOT looking forward to Christmas, SIL asked only for baby stuff! :nope: that was supposed to be us! :gun:
> 
> :hugs: Talk about a kick to the ovaries! I would just send DH to get her a gift card to some baby store.Click to expand...
> 
> Ya, I'm thinking that's what is going to happen though we do the "everyone takes turns opening their presents while people watch" so I'll just have to grin and bear it anyway.. ](*,)Click to expand...




Armywife84 said:


> doopersgurl said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> doopersgurl said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> :haha: It's ok, I'm in a bad mood too. And i just received my boots for my AF treat/birthday present! :wacko:
> 
> I agree, they should have some sort of freaking respect!! It's not fair that our feelings always get shafted :hugs:.
> 
> 
> well said..... the people with their babies dont care that we havent,
> that bothers me alot.
> i feel like shouting shut the hell up!
> 
> lol :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> Oh I agree!
> 
> 
> RANT: My NYE's resolution (besides getting pregnant) is to delete my Fertile Book.
> 
> I logged onto today to get slapped with baby shower pictures (didn't see that coming) and a, "I forgot I can't color my hair because I'm expecting" status. :growlmad: Way to start my day off!
> 
> Trying to stay positive is such work :wacko:.Click to expand...
> 
> 
> yes staying positive is hard. i went girly shopping with my mum last week and normally i let things go over my head but she started telling me my cousin who is 18 is now preg and that was it i just blurted out that me and dean had been trying for a year and nothing so could she kindly keep other pregnancies to hear self lol
> 
> i know it was wrong and selfish of me but at that time i just snapped :S
> 
> i did apologize afterwards
> 
> 
> hows you both feeling now???Click to expand...
> 
> Oh no, it wasn't wrong or selfish. That's how you feel! All those feelings get bottled up for so long then come bursting out. It happens, no worries.
> 
> We can't slap on that fake face everyday and keep on pretending we're over the moon for pregnant women, when we're clearly not. I gave up pretending I was happy about the "exciting news" this past June. I don't even congratulate newly pregnant women (except for the LTTCers on BNB, I care about their :bfp:) anymore. Really can't be bothered with their new status, when I honestly don't give a damn they got a :bfp: after 3 whole months of marriage! You just can't be happy for every pregnant :mamafy:. I'm running short on happiness due to this infertility bullshit.
> 
> Ugh, infertility puts me in this dark corner.Click to expand...

Amen sister, amen.


My vent today: my body is ticking me off because I should be done my period so I can go for my test on Friday. Instead it's been off and day (which NEVER happens). WTH?! My body waits one year to do this crap and it happens when I need it to be normal the most. Mother f'er. :dohh:


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## doopersgurl

Armywife84 said:


> doopersgurl said:
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> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
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> doopersgurl said:
> 
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> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> :haha: It's ok, I'm in a bad mood too. And i just received my boots for my AF treat/birthday present! :wacko:
> 
> I agree, they should have some sort of freaking respect!! It's not fair that our feelings always get shafted :hugs:.
> 
> 
> well said..... the people with their babies dont care that we havent,
> that bothers me alot.
> i feel like shouting shut the hell up!
> 
> lol :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> Oh I agree!
> 
> 
> RANT: My NYE's resolution (besides getting pregnant) is to delete my Fertile Book.
> 
> I logged onto today to get slapped with baby shower pictures (didn't see that coming) and a, "I forgot I can't color my hair because I'm expecting" status. :growlmad: Way to start my day off!
> 
> Trying to stay positive is such work :wacko:.Click to expand...
> 
> 
> yes staying positive is hard. i went girly shopping with my mum last week and normally i let things go over my head but she started telling me my cousin who is 18 is now preg and that was it i just blurted out that me and dean had been trying for a year and nothing so could she kindly keep other pregnancies to hear self lol
> 
> i know it was wrong and selfish of me but at that time i just snapped :S
> 
> i did apologize afterwards
> 
> 
> hows you both feeling now???Click to expand...
> 
> Oh no, it wasn't wrong or selfish. That's how you feel! All those feelings get bottled up for so long then come bursting out. It happens, no worries.
> 
> We can't slap on that fake face everyday and keep on pretending we're over the moon for pregnant women, when we're clearly not. I gave up pretending I was happy about the "exciting news" this past June. I don't even congratulate newly pregnant women (except for the LTTCers on BNB, I care about their :bfp:) anymore. Really can't be bothered with their new status, when I honestly don't give a damn they got a :bfp: after 3 whole months of marriage! You just can't be happy for every pregnant :mamafy:. I'm running short on happiness due to this infertility bullshit.
> 
> Ugh, infertility puts me in this dark corner.Click to expand...


i shouldnt be but i am laughing at this and i must thank you its not often that i laugh lol :) :hugs:


----------



## Armywife84

(Apologies for the language)

I'm rather pissed that my DH took a bath last night. I've told him countless times that he doesn't need to be taking baths because it heats up the balls and kills the few decent :spermy: he has! :hissy: Thankfully, the water wasn't as scalding as he usually has it, due to a terrible water heater in this townhome. Still, it was the fact of the matter. 

And our sex life has gone to shit, we don't even have regular sex outside of ovulation. :nope: 

Lastly my birthday is tomorrow, I've been blubbering about turning 27 and still being childless. My last 2 birthday wishes obviously never came true..maybe it will happen in 2012. You just get tired of wishing for the same thing each Christmas or birthday. :cry:


----------



## wonderstars

:hugs: Armywife. Sometimes the husbands just leaving you baffled don't they? I want to assure you that it's really across the board. They're just dumb sh*ts sometimes.

Maybe tell him baths are feminine and you'll tell all his male friends about it? Take pictures of him and his balls in the bath and threaten to post them or leave them lying around with guests over? There has to be a strategy. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope this is your last relaxing birthday and next year you're too exhausted from baby to celebrate. :happydance:


----------



## zanDark

I want to rant and rage about the 33 year old virgin that got married recently and got pregnant to boy-girl twins the FIRST time she had sex with her husband :wacko: she went to the doc because she thought she had a bug only to find out that she's preggo.....

I wish her well, I really really do and I'm glad that she has an absolutely perfect pregnancy...but OMG give me a fucking break :growlmad:


----------



## berki

Armywife84 said:


> (Apologies for the language)
> 
> I'm rather pissed that my DH took a bath last night. I've told him countless times that he doesn't need to be taking baths because it heats up the balls and kills the few decent :spermy: he has! :hissy: Thankfully, the water wasn't as scalding as he usually has it, due to a terrible water heater in this townhome. Still, it was the fact of the matter.
> 
> And our sex life has gone to shit, we don't even have regular sex outside of ovulation. :nope:
> 
> Lastly my birthday is tomorrow, I've been blubbering about turning 27 and still being childless. My last 2 birthday wishes obviously never came true..maybe it will happen in 2012. You just get tired of wishing for the same thing each Christmas or birthday. :cry:

Oh husbands, aren't they wonderful.. Mine is the same, he was all excited about a hot tub the other weekend and when I told him that as of Jan 1 there is no drinking for either of us he didn't quite seem to understand that I was actually serious... 
Also, our sex life has come to an abrupt halt too, its very stressful on a relationship and challenges you as a couple. I hope that once this is all over we can find our way back to where we used to be.



zanDark said:


> I want to rant and rage about the 33 year old virgin that got married recently and got pregnant to boy-girl twins the FIRST time she had sex with her husband :wacko: she went to the doc because she thought she had a bug only to find out that she's preggo.....
> 
> I wish her well, I really really do and I'm glad that she has an absolutely perfect pregnancy...but OMG give me a fucking break :growlmad:

Screw you virgin, screw you... grrrrr.... :brat: I know the feeling, everytime some fertile mertile decides to announce her pregnancy I smile and say congrats then turn around and secretly give them the finger.. haha


----------



## Skoer1360

zanDark said:


> I wish her well, I really really do and I'm glad that she has an absolutely perfect pregnancy...but OMG give me a fucking break :growlmad:

:hugs: I totally understand, I felt the same way when my SIL got pregnant first try :grr:


----------



## Armywife84

wonderstars said:


> :hugs: Armywife. Sometimes the husbands just leaving you baffled don't they? I want to assure you that it's really across the board. They're just dumb sh*ts sometimes.
> 
> Maybe tell him baths are feminine and you'll tell all his male friends about it? Take pictures of him and his balls in the bath and threaten to post them or leave them lying around with guests over? There has to be a strategy.
> 
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope this is your last relaxing birthday and next year you're too exhausted from baby to celebrate. :happydance:

For once, I just want men to feel the way we do when it comes to LTTC! They would go absolutely mad! 

Thanks for the birthday wishes :cake:, I'm going to try very hard to have a decent day tomorrow.

Infertility has really pushed my marriage to it's limits. Doesn't help that my DH has to bitch about every little thing I ask him to do regarding improving his sperm. :growlmad:


----------



## wonderstars

Annoying thing for today from yesterday's test:

As your laying on your back, with your feet in stirrups, your hoohoo for all to see, drugged up on Fentanyl and Versed, you don't really want to hear "you think this is painful, wait until you have children".

You know what, do you want to have my twisted cervix? Did you want to go through abdominal surgeries? Do you want to know that you'll have to give birth early and through c-section? 

No? Then shut the f*ck up as I lay there for all to see.

Coulda clocked her one there if I wasn't so doped up from drugs.

That is all.


----------



## Armywife84

Did a stupid thing in looking up an ex and one night stand on Fertile Book :dohh:, and of course they have new babies or a baby on the way :growlmad:. One is married because of the child, and I'm sure the other will follow suit. 

These douche bags can conceive but I can't with my DH!! :hissy:

And my SIL's DH just got back from deployment for the next 18 months. She's not exactly good about taking her BC so I'm sure it's only a matter of time. :cry:

I used to want 2 children, I'll be lucky if I can get 1!! :nope:


----------



## Lizzy444

Okay...gotta get this out, and DH is stuck talking to his parents, so here it goes....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DH's parents and grandfather arrived last night for a 4+ day visit (too long, in my opinion). They know about our LTTC and about the laparoscopy. They brought some of DH's stuff from when he was a kid, and as DH was going through a box, my MIL said, "for when you have a son" and then, "oh, did you hear that ___ (BIL) is having another boy?" (BTW, it's my BIL's FIFTH boy). Why on earth would you say that to me?! WHY?? :dohh:

So, DH told his dad to be careful what they say around me....and my FIL agreed that MIL shouldn't have said what she said. Well, that was at like 10:30 last night.

Now, not even 12 hours later, FIL starts talking about kids at his church who are getting pregnant....at least 2, and he was starting to tell another story, but I left...so that might be 3. Why?? You agreed that your wife should've kept her mouth SHUT and now you're doing some of the same thing. :nope:

People drive me crazy! And his parents are here for 4 FULL days. And they talk a lot. Ugh. I told DH that I might be disappearing a lot because I just can't handle it. Talk about anything you want, EXCEPT so-and-so being pregnant....and "for when you have a child..."

Okay, rant over. If you read this, thanks :) And if you have advice for how to get through this, I'd love to hear it!


----------



## wonderstars

I have no advice but just lots of hugs. I'm finding quickly that infertility is something that people don't think much of. It's sad that feelings mean nothing when it comes to dealing with infertility. I think it's worse with a husband's family because our husbands really don't seem as emotional about the whole process so how can their family understand?

My FIL is just as bad. He's bringing a friend to Christmas dinner along with their grandbaby?! Who the f*ck does that?! It's f'ing Christmas dinner with your son! :growlmad:


----------



## Armywife84

Gahhh, I'm so steaming mad!!! :growlmad::growlmad: Apologies for the language. 

I was on the phone with my mother asking her something, then she brings up she saw so and so's mother at the library. Well Mrs. So and so happens to be pregnant (of course). I told my mother that I knew the pregnant :mamafy: and had deleted her off of FB after I saw the announcement. 

Note: I have a 0 tolerance policy for pregnancy announcements..that's grounds for getting deleted. Just my way of coping with it. 

THEN, my lovely mother proceeds to tell me that I need to get past FB pregnancy announcements. If only it were that easy!! I got irritated (fed up with people's comments) and told her she didn't understand because she never had to struggle with infertility. EVEN BETTER, my freaking (less than supportive) DH chimes in with, "That's what I've been telling her". And proceeds to talk to me while I'm trying to talk to my mother on the phone. Rude, much?? I dismiss him, because I'm very annoyed at this point. 

After I get off the phone, I told him I didn't need any comments from the peanut gallery. He proceeds to act like a grade A asshole and tells me not to talk to him. WTF? You're the one interrupting my phone call?? 

Of course we get into this major fight about how he knows jack shit about infertility and doesn't care to know..or how I really feel, much less pay attention to me when I'm upset over it. Then he launches into how I should take other people's advice into consideration. Why should I listen to advice coming from a woman who knows jack shit about infertility????? :growlmad:
I listened to what she said, but it wasn't helpful!!! 

Needless to see he stormed out of the house and I don't give a rat's ass if he comes back tonight or not. :finger: I'm so mean, I know.


----------



## Sam_1980

My 17 year old cousin has just announced her 2nd pregancy (oh but by accident of course) to her drug dealing non-educated-deliquent- NED bf - both never even worked a day in their lives! I'm not jealous...i'm not, but here's me 10 years down the line still waiting. I'm no angel and i've done my fair share of living but come on ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! :dohh: :wacko:

BTW i posted a thread asking questions...would it be bad if i asked any of you to read it and advise if you can on my questions? x


----------



## Lizzy444

wonderstars said:


> I have no advice but just lots of hugs. I'm finding quickly that infertility is something that people don't think much of. It's sad that feelings mean nothing when it comes to dealing with infertility. I think it's worse with a husband's family because our husbands really don't seem as emotional about the whole process so how can their family understand?
> 
> My FIL is just as bad. He's bringing a friend to Christmas dinner along with their grandbaby?! Who the f*ck does that?! It's f'ing Christmas dinner with your son! :growlmad:

Thanks!

Some people...I just don't get it! I'd be super ticked if someone tried to pull that on me. You poor thing! Can you say "no!" to them joining your Christmas dinner? :)


----------



## wonderstars

Lol. I wish. I guess my DH must have mentioned something to him because baby isn't coming to dinner. Thanks goodness.


----------



## Armywife84

:cry:Thought I could make it thru the holidays without hearing about babies. WRONG!!

Got back to the in-laws and as I walk thru the door my DH's cousin is talking about my SIL's pregnancy. So I walk down the hall to our room, put on lounge pants, and am trying to ignore her..but of course her voice echos thru the hallway. I don't care to know anything about her pregnancy, don't care about the baby's name, when she's due etc. Shut up already! Now I know more than I care to know. FML. 

Honestly I love my nieces and nephew I already have, but I'm unsure and a bit resentful towards this unborn baby. I feel like my SIL took my turn (if we were fertile). Stupid and mean, I know...but I don't really care. I'm sure I'll grow to love this baby eventually when she's 5 and I'm finally pregnant. But at the moment, no.


----------



## wonderstars

Bah, somedays I wish I could be more positive (my husband says I'm too negative) but it is really really really hard to do!

We did everything right this cycle just because we knew if any cycle would be it, it would be the one with clear tubes! If things don't go my way the next month or two I am just going to break down, I feel it coming near. It breaks my heart that I can't even join my girlfriends for a get together next week because they're all pregnant or have babies! These are my closest friends in the world and I still can't muster enough positive energy to put up with baby talk. :cry:

That's my sob story for tonight. Sorry but I just had to write it out somewhere. :cry:


----------



## zanDark

*rage*

so I tested on TWO internet cheapies last night and got a faint positive...EVEN posted pics in the pregnancy test section and had people tell me I wasn't seeing things...they saw a line too!! OF COURSE today when I tested on a brand name hpt and two more internet cheapies all I got was stark frigging white! I have never ever ever seen even a faint hint of pink on my ICs (except the one time I had a trigger shot and was testing to make sure it was out of my system)

why the hell does life have to be so cruel? why the hell would two IC's give a false positive????? I need a break! I'm going to take the next cycle off to chill out and stop thinking about babies and drink lots of wine. 

I'm so mad at myself for letting my guard down and getting my hopes up!

*sigh* I feel better lol


----------



## zanDark

:brat::brat::brat::brat::brat::brat::brat:


AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH at people being upset that they didn't conceive their 5th child on the 2nd try!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


:brat::brat::brat::brat::brat::brat::brat:


----------



## wonderstars

zanDark, that would drive me up the wall. It's insensitive of me and I apologize in advance but for those on their 4th and 5th child complaining about having problems conceiving, I just have no empathy. It's mean and I do feel badly but seriously now.



Venting today about myself.

That stupid Salpingogram has given me false hope and I've fallen into thinking there's a chance I could be pregnant this cycle. Ugh, I've gone so long without thinking about a TWW but here I am again.

Just because a tube was blocked doesn't mean it's going to happen. I can't get that through my head. With my pre-AF spotting I can't even wait until NYE to test cause my body will tell me a few days before.

Why do I do this to myself?! I was doing well for soooo long in not symptom watching.
:xmas11:


----------



## PoasCrazy

Af came today ! On Christmas ! On the day I was supposed to O ! Screw YOU Santa!


----------



## NavyWife84

wonderstars said:


> zanDark, that would drive me up the wall. It's insensitive of me and I apologize in advance but for those on their 4th and 5th child complaining about having problems conceiving, I just have no empathy. It's mean and I do feel badly but seriously now.
> 
> 
> 
> Venting today about myself.
> 
> That stupid Salpingogram has given me false hope and I've fallen into thinking there's a chance I could be pregnant this cycle. Ugh, I've gone so long without thinking about a TWW but here I am again.
> 
> Just because a tube was blocked doesn't mean it's going to happen. I can't get that through my head. With my pre-AF spotting I can't even wait until NYE to test cause my body will tell me a few days before.
> 
> Why do I do this to myself?! I was doing well for soooo long in not symptom watching.
> :xmas11:

I am right there with you...I know I cant be preggo this cycle because I ovulated on the side that is blocked and the hsg didn't unblocked it. Buuut I still have hope and know I am still going to be a wreck when af comes around new years.


----------



## EllieGoulet

So sad that I'm a week from a year of trying. Maybe ovulated 3 times in the last 12 months, and to top it off, DH has no interest in me whatsoever (sexy interest) because he's too stressed. Which, you know, makes it hard. Well, harder :(


----------



## CanadianMaple

I'm seeing pregnancy announcements like crazy too. Since we found out that DH doesn't have any sperm, it seems like everyone who didn't want another baby is now pregnant. Yay. :(


----------



## wonderstars

8DPO and tiny amount of spotting. 

$^()*%#)(*@ 

Why did I do this to myself. :( I am devastated. I am a chronic spotter, which my Gyne doesn't seem concerned about, but now I wonder.


----------



## Lizzy444

Crinone (progesterone cream-stuff), a prescription, has kept me from early spotting for 3-4 cycles. I wonder if it'd work for you.


----------



## wonderstars

Yeah, I think I'm going to have to push the issue a little more. My progesterone levels are great 7DPO but I still think they drastically drop after that point. I'm making an appt in the New Year and asking for a referral to a Fertility Specialist so I can start IUI, I think that's our best shot. There doesn't seem to be any indication that I should require IVF but one never knows.

Thanks for the info. :)


----------



## Armywife84

*WARNING after holiday venting*

1. My DH's lovely aunt made the comment, "Holidays are so much fun when you have LOs." Thanks a fecking lot Aunt Lena for reminding just how much I hate family gatherings because they're full of fertile people and their children!!

2. Non stop talk about baby Ava (fecking redundant name) who is due in Jan. Don't care and will scream if I hear about it one more time.

3. MIL just going on and on about my other SIL's toddler. It's evident she's ur fav grandchild, now stop talking about her 24-7.

4. Pics of my twin niece and nephew shoved in my face, plus a family photo. I can't stand my SIL, so why the hell would I want to look at photos of them?

5. Looking at the ornament of the grandchildren on the tree and a photo of all 3 of them. Thinking to myself next year they'll have to take a new photo because there will be a new baby added. Feeling sad that I don't have a baby to add to that photo.

Is this shitty year over yet?


----------



## wonderstars

Armywife, how utterly insensitive, wow. The shitty year is almost over, and no more holidays to have to spend with family. Hope the New Year treats us better. :hugs:

Seriously, you need to post a video of you make the announcement to your family? Ugh. :coffee: More on and off spotting, I'm going to go with my cervix is swollen from the invasive procedure so that's why I'm not pregnant this cycle. Blah. I really wish I hadn't waited the full year to begin all the testing, it's just been way too much waiting. I could have been referred to the FS already and ready to begin Clomid+IUI. :nope:


----------



## wonderstars

Someone seriously needs to knock some sense into me. I wandered into the TWW forum. Aaaahhhh. I am so angry with myself. I know not to do this.:growlmad:


----------



## Armywife84

6. BIL makes the comment he would text annoying pregnant SIL to tell her 2yr old twins birthday wishes but he doesn't know if she can text back. Seriously the beeyatch isn't paralyzed from the neck down, she's 8 months pregnant! I can't stand it when people treat pregnancy like it's some sort of disability!!:growlmad:

7. SIL sent a Christmas card to DH's parent's home when she has our home address. Of course it contains photos of the twins and a family picture. No apology note though. Whenever we get home it will make it's way to the bottom of a junk drawer of where I don't have to ever look at them again. 

Wonderstars- Meh, even if I got "infetile" tattooed on my forehead the insensitive comments would just keep coming. Even when I bother to correct them, something even more rude comes out of their mouth. Such a losing battle. 

Don't beat yourself up over it. I'm just now getting a lap and dye because I was trying to accept infertility. That and my gyno was hardly thorough. It happens, you have to give yourself time to digest the raw info before you move on to other treatments.


----------



## Calasen

so tempted to move to canada to get help after one year :( we are now 15 months TTC and our doctors wont help until at least 2 years. Despite me having PCOS and Endometriosis


----------



## wonderstars

Calasen said:


> so tempted to move to canada to get help after one year :( we are now 15 months TTC and our doctors wont help until at least 2 years. Despite me having PCOS and Endometriosis

That sucks. :( I haven't reviewed if the NICE guidelines relate to this but do they have indications about when you can have intervention?


----------



## wonderstars

I really should just start a TTC blog for all my ranting, lol. Today's rant.

How is it that the infertile nurse in the clinic (me) has to manage all the pregnant women?! Seriously. This isn't even intentional, I just happen to be managing them for the last 2 years. :help:

And seriously, maybe the holidays are making me a witch but trying for 2 months is NOT LTTC!!!!!!!! It's quite insensitive to come into a forum where everyone is already down about having to go through yet another holiday season without a baby and have someone come in after 2 months. :growlmad: :coffee: :dohh: :wacko: :nope:

I'm sorry but that's just the way I feel today.


----------



## Calasen

wonderstars said:


> Calasen said:
> 
> 
> so tempted to move to canada to get help after one year :( we are now 15 months TTC and our doctors wont help until at least 2 years. Despite me having PCOS and Endometriosis
> 
> That sucks. :( I haven't reviewed if the NICE guidelines relate to this but do they have indications about when you can have intervention?Click to expand...

24 months of trying unsuccessfully they say :( yet all the stuff online and in the leaflets and guidelines say 1 year :(


----------



## LaurenTCanada

Calasen said:


> wonderstars said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Calasen said:
> 
> 
> so tempted to move to canada to get help after one year :( we are now 15 months TTC and our doctors wont help until at least 2 years. Despite me having PCOS and Endometriosis
> 
> That sucks. :( I haven't reviewed if the NICE guidelines relate to this but do they have indications about when you can have intervention?Click to expand...
> 
> 24 months of trying unsuccessfully they say :( yet all the stuff online and in the leaflets and guidelines say 1 year :(Click to expand...

That is stupid. I hadn't even started trying yet and the OB/GYN at the hospital diagnosed me with PCOS and immediately referred me to the FS. Seriously.. it took me one month to start receiving help. I am very grateful for the health care I receive.


----------



## phoenixrose

wonderstars said:


> I really should just start a TTC blog for all my ranting, lol. Today's rant.
> 
> How is it that the infertile nurse in the clinic (me) has to manage all the pregnant women?! Seriously. This isn't even intentional, I just happen to be managing them for the last 2 years. :help:
> 
> And seriously, maybe the holidays are making me a witch but trying for 2 months is NOT LTTC!!!!!!!! It's quite insensitive to come into a forum where everyone is already down about having to go through yet another holiday season without a baby and have someone come in after 2 months. :growlmad: :coffee: :dohh: :wacko: :nope:
> 
> I'm sorry but that's just the way I feel today.

I completely agree with you! And you can tell who they are because there is not an ounce of bitterness in their tone. I was reading another thread: crazy things LTTTC has made you do, and read one of the responses and for some reason I started looking in her signature for how long she had been trying cause most people put it...2 months...aaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! Why the he'll was she even being nosey in here? I understand stragglers at 10 months...but wtf? I feel like I should post something in there but sometimes I think if I can't say anything nice then I shouldn't say anything.


----------



## lian_83

Wow, this is defo my thread.

Been trying for as long as I can remember, maybe 2 years with my husband, or shall I say ex-husband (the guy can't take the pressure and disappointments of TTC), and then now 8 cycles with donors. :cry::cry::cry::cry:

So after losing my husband and probably my sanity, I think the doctors are finally able to explain this infertility --a nasty polyp in my uterus acting like an IUD and preventing any kind of implantation or causing early miscarriages. 

Now, there are so many what ifs in my life, like if only I have gone to the FS last year instead of the acupuncturist, maybe I would still be married by now and we're a family instead of me doing this all alone.. :dohh:


----------



## NavyWife84

I am so sorry to hear that about your marriage, but honestly, a baby causes a lot of stress for the next 18 years at least! If he couldn't handle 2 years of ttc, how did he think he was going to handle fatherhood? I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but it sounds like you are better off without him. I don't know what I would do without dhs support.
Anyway, it sounds like the polyp is something they can fix with surgery? I hope so. Good luck with it, have a beautiful baby, and find a man that deserves you and your lo!


----------



## Armywife84

lian_hawaii said:


> Wow, this is defo my thread.
> 
> Been trying for as long as I can remember, maybe 2 years with my husband, or shall I say ex-husband (the guy can't take the pressure and disappointments of TTC), and then now 8 cycles with donors. :cry::cry::cry::cry:
> 
> So after losing my husband and probably my sanity, I think the doctors are finally able to explain this infertility --a nasty polyp in my uterus acting like an IUD and preventing any kind of implantation or causing early miscarriages.
> 
> Now, there are so many what ifs in my life, like if only I have gone to the FS last year instead of the acupuncturist, maybe I would still be married by now and we're a family instead of me doing this all alone.. :dohh:

I completely admire you for going for your dream alone! Infertility can rip apart a marriage, it's more common than people think. It has really pushed my marriage to the limit. Thankfully, it has made us a bit stronger of a couple. 

Meh, you don't need a man to have a baby...just some science!


----------



## Armywife84

Wonderstars- You should start a blog! I'd stalk it! 

Yeesh ladies, I'm absent one day and look what happens! I'm sure the girl got it confused with the TTC thread and just chimed in. Thankfully, she has had enough sense and tact not to strike back. Usually it breaks out into a flame war. LTTC ladies versus 1 TTCer :haha:. 

MY RANT of THE DAY......

I was chatting with MIL about what she's going to do now she's retired and suggested she travel with FIL all over the US. Then she said she's sure she'll visit AZ (pregnant SIL, 2yr old twins) and VA (her daughter plus 1.5yr old).....BUT she didn't say anything about visiting us when we move to KY. I took this the wrong way and thought she wasn't visiting us because we don't have children!! :cry::cry: Granted we'll be 5 hours out, but we're not going to be coming back as often because I'll be in school! I often feel so left out because I don't have a grandchild for her to fawn over. 

Ugh I hate how this visit has made me so emotional! It was incredibly hard to endure, but thankfully I'm home and can go back to hiding out!


----------



## lian_83

NavyWife84 said:


> I am so sorry to hear that about your marriage, but honestly, a baby causes a lot of stress for the next 18 years at least! If he couldn't handle 2 years of ttc, how did he think he was going to handle fatherhood? I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but it sounds like you are better off without him. I don't know what I would do without dhs support.
> Anyway, it sounds like the polyp is something they can fix with surgery? I hope so. Good luck with it, have a beautiful baby, and find a man that deserves you and your lo!

Thanks, but he's really a great guy and it's my lost much more than his, well at least he has good genes. :cloud9:

I hope I can go ahead with the surgery but with the holidays I feel like my hands are tied and can't really do anything other than wait for the rest of the world to stop celebrating. I'm not really a scrooge or anything, in fact I try not to contact my friends and be a sour pus, I just spend the days by myself, either by reading a book or watching chick flicks. 

Will I ever get pregnant??? I hope so... I certainly hope so.


----------



## SunUp

This is my rant right now... I hope I can barge in?
So, I am a secret TTCer... but just because I don't TELL people my business does NOT mean I want their advice "Oh you two should have a baby! just ...blahblahblah."

I WANT a baby and your stupid advice does NOT work. Trust me, I have already tried. Its hard to even act nice at this point, I keep hearing it from everyone! I mean, they mean well, and I am not telling everyone about my LTTC, but I hate it that people 1: assume and 2: think I want their advice.


----------



## Armywife84

Of course, Sun Up. Please, vent away! I agree, fertile people just don't get it. 

I can't stop thinking about how another year gone and I've yet to conceive. :cry: The fecking :witch: has yet to show up (she's due today) and I'm not testing because I don't want to start my New Year off with an evident negative! FML.


----------



## wannabemummyb

I need to vent:

1. I have had 20 days of spotting but not period. The spotting is only noticeable when i wipe and is cm tinged with red/pink/ orange!

2. A friend is whinging on fb because she had a bad year because she got pg again when her second child was 9 weeks old! She says she hopes her luck improves next tear! FFS does she not realise how lucky she is! She has three gorgeous kids and i'm stuck in a hell limbo where my cycles are f'd!

3. I thought my body was regulating but seems not! FS won't do anything for another six months! I need to lose 3 stone to get down my bmi before she will give me clomid! I want to be healthy for my kids and am working my socks off, have lost three stone already! So feel like i start getting somewhere and the goal posts are moved!

Vent over. Thanks ladies x


----------



## JanetPlanet

OHHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHH this is the thread for me today!!

***Disclaimer: For anyone whos squeamish, just immediately bypass this post because its a loo-loo. I am actually a very caring person and I cant really explain whats wrong with me today. I guess I finally went koo-koo from all this LTTC.***

I hate everyone and everything today. I'm 9dpo and got a BFFN. I only tested today because I was already depressed... but that BFFN put the nail in my coffin. I AM SO MOTHERFLUFFING TIRED OF THIS!!!!!

So my husband is tiptoeing around me today and even THAT is pissing me off! LMAO I'm a monster! 

I'm SOOO irrational today, that it's actually starting to be funny. My husband just made me a bagel (I havent eaten bread in monthshave to watch what you eat when youre TTCing, dontcha know), and I told him well see if he makes it out of the room alive, depending on whether or not he buttered this bagel correctly. We just looked at each other and burst out laughing. Normally, I would thank him and tell him how much I appreciate him. SO WHERE IS THAT NICE GIRL TODAY?

My biggest irritation: delusionally positive thinking. It makes me feel like my feelings aren't being taken seriously. Everyone seems to do it and IT PISSES ME OFF!! Dont tell me everything looks great. If everything looked great, there would be a beautiful healthy baby in my belly. How can everything possibly look great when I had *SIX* mature follicles and a BFFN today????

And I of course I cant take any anti-anxiety drugs cuz I may.MAY be preggers. Yeah right.

Well ok then. I guess I got that off my chest and sore boobs.


----------



## Foxybabyhg3

I can so relate to many of you. Sick of the FB announcements, sick of the 7 girls in my office that have just had a baby or are pregnant within a few yrs and there's only 12 ladies in there. I have been secretly staying behind and sitting in their chairs in case they held some sort of power :blush:

And one of the non-pregnant girls, who tells me with all of her 23yrs old knowledge-just relax, forget about it and it'll happen. Yeah, cos after trying for over 10yrs I can just forget that I'm about to hit the threshold for getting IVF on the NHS (age limit 38) (if I can lose 3 stone which seems IMPOSSIBLE to shift due to the PCOS), and I can forget to know when I'm supposed to ovulate, I don't give a monkey's chuff if your Mother's friends, daughters, room mate's, dog walkers, sister in law tried for 40 yrs and just decided to give up and *poof* she had triplets naturally..................:brat:

Wow, I feel so much better now-thanks :wacko:


----------



## lian_83

I need to vent here - i've stopped using Facebook because every friend of mine seems to be super fertile and gets pregnant with a sneeze. I, on the other hand, has virtually no chance of getting pg unless i get this polyp remove, and i dont have insurance to pay for it. What more, my husband who has insurance and money, has left me and is asking for a divorce. 

Yup, life sucks!!!! :cry:


----------



## JanetPlanet

Aloha lian_hawaii, are you in Hawaii? I used to live in Kailua-Kona.

First, eff your husband for leaving. Second, I was DEVASTATED for a long long time when my ex-husband left me. But it was one of the best things that ever happened to me, and I silently thank him every single day for it now.:shrug:

You seem so strong, good for you. But I do hope you have people around you who are supportive. 

As for your polyp, I know here in California and in other states, there are programs for people who do not have or cannot get insurance. I didn't know about this, but my friend has it apparently. Have you looked into something like this? Also, if you're not legally divorced yet, he cannot stop you from using his insurance. He can try to take you off of his policy at work, but the court would not be happy with him.

I know you're just here to rant, but I guess I just had to butt in.

Best wishes!


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## wonderstars

Oh Facebook, if only you could see how miserable you're making us. So sorry ladies about all the announcements. 

lian - I have nothing to offer but hugs. I hope you find some payment plan option that is able to give you the option to remove the polyp. :(

I have no energy to put forth for a real rant, I just really hate my spotting and the fact that no physician seems concerned about it! Aargh.


----------



## Calasen

That's it I have had enough of this year already!!!

New years day I had a miscarriage :( didn't even know we had managed this month! :( Thankfully was very early stage so no risk of damage.

Then less then an hour ago my nan died :(

Really don't want this year!!!


----------



## StorkStalker

:hugs:Calasen, I am very sorry for the loss of your nan... and for your early MC... :hugs: I don't know what else to say, except we are here with you..:hugs:


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## wonderstars

My sympathies Calasen. :hugs:


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## Armywife84

My condolences as well :flower:.

Rant:

I just wish I could stop thinking about SIL being due soon. Hopefully, my MIL has some tact not to send me a picture message of the baby. Thank god they live on the other side of the US and I don't have to see them ever! 

I ran the idea of skipping Christmas this year if we're not pregnant and DH wasn't too into it. Whatever, I'll take myself on a nice beach vacation. All I know is I'm not going thru another hurtful Christmas like that. Especially if I have to be around LOs and meet the new baby.


----------



## wonderstars

WTH? Tell your DH to get with it. No sex for him in the hot Caribbean sun. :grr: I'm sure he'll get his act together before then. The holidays are a long way away and there is much that can happen before then. :)



Back to work tomorrow so there goes all my lurking time on B&B. :( I am having THE worst period after this selective HSG. 5 days late, super super heavy and painful - and periods are never any of those things. Owie. 

Men are lucky SOBs. :dohh:


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## Armywife84

With or without him, I'm going! 

Perhaps you can pretend you're doing spreadsheets and close the BNB tab when your boss walks by? :haha:

RANT: I just can't stand when a woman who accidentally got pregnant while on the pill (unfortunately miscarried) comes over to the LTTC section and cuts down a fellow LTTCer for venting. Seriously, you don't see me going on the Loss forum telling those women at least they know they can get pregnant (not necessarily true) or whatever else they hate hearing. :growlmad:

If you do not belong in this forum, no woman in this section wants to be here, then don't bother posting your $2 worth of rude "advice". :finger:


----------



## wonderstars

Oh man, women suck inso many ways too. Blah, I totally get ya.

Vent for today

OMG this is the heaviest, clottiest and most painful period I have had in my entire life. I am going through tampons like a mad woman and swear bits of tissue are leaving my body,lol. So gross. This better mean that the selective HSG worked. I can't even get in to see my Dr. Until Feb 14 so no clomid for me. Boo. Time to get jiggy with it this cycle (yeah, I saw all of you rolling your eyes at that comment, haha).


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## Armywife84

I HATE days 1 and 2 of my cycle..those are the heaviest :boat:!

Ugh, I could've done without the pregnant nurse assisting my DH in his spinal shots today. Seriously, I saw numerous other women (who looked about the menopausal age) that could've helped us!! But nnnooooo we had to have the 4-5 month pregnant one :grr:. My anxiety was thru the roof, I couldn't wait to get the feck out of there!


----------



## wonderstars

Dude, I don't get the universe. It really does seem like everywhere we go pregnancy is shoved into our faces. Do you think they see the bitterness on our faces, the whites of our knuckles and our clenched jaws? Lol. Oh dear.:hugs:

Here's to hoping you see no pregnant women this weekend...need to go to manly places for all your outings. :winkwink:


----------



## phoenixrose

Omg! The same thing happened to me last night! I wasn't having such a great day but my DH and I went out to dinner. I think I have peripheral vision radar for pregnant women because I always see them out of the corner of my eye and have to whip my head around to see...it's like road kill, you tell yourself not to look, but always at the last moment you end up looking anyway. It's like I'm glutton for punishment, do I really need that image burned in to my mind for the next hour? And to top it off, we decide to walk around the mall after dinner, just being nosey, then as we're about to go to the car we run into one of DH's friends whose wife is 22 weeks pg. So, in all fairness they didn't know we were even trying but my DH's friend then asks, "so when are you guys going to start trying? You said you'd start after we did (as he points to wife's belly." My response...well we have been trying for two years, since before you." He looked a little like a deer caught in headlights. We also told him about fertility doctors and that we're now spending around $2k for each try/month. So I think the friend felt a little bad. But to top it off the damn wife would not stop rubbing her belly, poking her belly, practically massaging her belly, and I'm not exaggerating cause I'm overly sensitive. And of course we had to run into them in the middle of a conversation about how I feel like I'm loosing hope and I feel like I'm just going through the motions with all the fertility meds and doc appointments...I almost broke down crying, like 3 times while we were standing there talking to his friend.

Ok, rant over.


----------



## Skoer1360

oh hun :hugs: that's awful! I'm sorry :(


----------



## Armywife84

Oooh that's awful, PR! I HATE, HATE when pregnant women rub their bellies! It's like we know it's there, you don't have to literally draw anymore attention to it! 

I have a bumpdar too! It's kinda like a gaydar, in which you can spot the homosexual in the crowd..only you can sniff out a 3 month pregnant woman within in minutes, like some sort of bloodhound. :haha:

Hell, pregnant women are everywhere. When I was visiting family over Christmas I even saw one in a bar! That's the last place I would expect to see a pregnant :mamafy:! No where is safe. Maybe a strip club :sick:, but even then you'd have to deal with their c-section scars being flaunted in your face. :sick:


----------



## berki

Its around everyone (being a labour and delivery nurse is hard enough) but we had some many preggo announcements over xmas and im so tired of it..I want it to be my freakign turn!


----------



## Mrs.Stinski

Im so glad I found this thread today. I swear Im going to flip my lid today. Both of my step sisters are pregnant, one due this month and one due next month. My sister in law just came off of birth control and promised me she wouldnt start trying until after I got pregnant....well she just had my brother call me to tell me that shes pregnant. REALLY!??!?!?!?! Thanks for kicking me while Im down!!!

End rant. 


Thanks for listening :)


----------



## greeneyes0279

Glad I found this thread. I SOOOOO need to vent. 

I'm beyond frustrated with ttc. I have been ttc#2 for 3 years with lean pcos. Got preg on 4th IUI in 12/2010. MMC in 2/2011. Have since done 3 more IUI's and 1 IVF. All :bfn:'s. The IVF was in 8/2011. No more funds for anymore treatments. :sad2: I have since then had 6 cycles with NO OVULATION. REALLY!!!!!! My ovaries need to wake the $%@$ up! This is the longest I have ever gone with no ovulation. I had to delete my fb cause I couldn't handle seeing all the preg. announcements and belly pics. Really can't take much more.


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## wonderstars

I think everyone needs a lot of :hugs: today! It's a good day for me, so I can actually offer some to others, lol.


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## StorkStalker

Oh dear, I want to strangle someone!! 2 more close friends pregnancy announcements, in condescending first to know basis so we wont feel hurt when they yell it through the roof tops... 3rd and 2nd child.. The 2nd couple has had both their babies while we have been TTC and got married after us... so.. AF came today, and I just received an email telling me this: "I would advise you to try to take your mind off things by engaging in some activities that you like to avoid stress build-up as this may affect your fertility" FROM the people following my case at Duo Monitor!!! Well, thank you, I have plenty to do, and I have tried lots and lots of things to not think of TTC, mind you if I had a kid I wouldn´t be thinking about it.. and thank you for suggesting stress will affect my fertility, I was not stressed the first months of trying, and thank you for not being able to grasp that if I bought your very expensive thermometer is because I am full invested and absorbed in becoming pregnant and it has taken over my whole life.. AF came today so the thingy is not working miracles, and when I ask if my lutheal phase was too short all I get from them is a judgmental remark?? Aaarghhh!! Rant over.. Sorry and thanks.


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## phoenixrose

Storkstalker: Wow! What the hell! That's awful! What's the length of your luteal phase? Supposedly, anything 11 and over is suppose to be fine, but personally I think 13 or more is good.


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## StorkStalker

Hi Phoenix, Thank you for your reply, you are always so sweet.. My lutheal phase this cycle was only 9 days and then AF.. that´s what got me so concerned.. usually it´s 12.. sometimes has been 14 (which got my hopes up of course)... I didn´t do anything different last cycle other than using Duo, and O´d on new year´s.. The "expert" at duo said there was nothing wrong with a 9 day lutheal phase.. That goes against my common sense and educated guess.. So here I am on the waiting for Ovulation train again.. I hope you are ok!! Big hug and thanks..


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## phoenixrose

Not to make you sound broken or anything...but there is absolute something wrong with a 9 day LP! If it was just one random time then whatever, but if that continues you definitely have to get that checked out. Aren't B-vitamins suppose to help with that? They can't hurt anyway. I started taking them, and even though I have no idea if they helped with spotting or LP, because I have to take progesterone suppositories, they do make me feel more energetic and help me have a better PMA.


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## Armywife84

So I like to go on other parts of BNB to take my mind off of LTTC...Well I went into the Health and Wellbeing section because I was interested in this "Depression and Anxiety" thread. As I am suffering from both, due to IF (of course). 

I'm reading thru the responses and see the one who started the thread that is claiming she's depressed because of TTC. Guess how long she's been TTC??? 4 fecking months!!! Take a walk in a LTTCers shoes and you'll be admitted into the nut ward! :growlmad::growlmad:

Then there's another woman on there who is blessed with children and is talking about self harm. Seriously, you're blessed with children and want to off yourself? I just can't fathom postpartum depression. Try dealing with IF for 2 years, the possibility of never being a mother and tell me how you feel then!! 

Needless to say I didn't bother replying to that thread, as I would've started a flame war. I believe I'll be staying out of that section.


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## Armywife84

SIL had her baby today. :cry::cry::cry::cry:

I have a new niece that I feel resentment towards..and I know it's not her fault. It's her stupid mother's for not using protection because the ignorant twat isn't IF! 

I can't stop crying and thinking that should've been me. :cry::cry::cry:


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## wonderstars

:hugs: Have a good cry Miss, it's warranted. You'll be there one day but for now, I'm sure you want to hurl things across the room. :hugs:



My miniscule vent for the day:
I received a Christmas card late from a pregnant friend, who knows I've been struggling. Instead of just sending me a card, she just had to include her yearly "newsletter" which just went on and on about pregnancy, maternity leave and her "little one". :cry: So not what I needed. Between that and getting sick, I went on a little shopping spree. Sephora, MAC and Coach. :dohh:


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## NavyWife84

I'm so sorry Army...that's so hard. 

Wonder...I hate those narritive cards...your shopping spree sounds right up my ally! If only we lived near each other I would have loved to go with you!

I spent the day yesterday shopping for a gift for my neice who will be 1 next weekend. I love my neice so much but it is just so hard. We started out looking in target and general stores like that but ouldnt find what we were looking for until we went to babies r us. I swore I wouldn't go back in there when I went in may for my friends baby shower but we had no choice. To make matters worse, my mom wanted to go into the clothing section and show me the outfit my sis had picked out for my neice to wear. I don't know why, but the hardest thing for me to be around is baby clothes. This was not a very good follow up to my fs appointment the day before :(


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## StorkStalker

Dear ArmyWife :hugs:... this LTTC is just not fair!! Receive a big hug... I don´t know what to say.. but that by all means it should be you.. and anyone LTTC.. I´m done with our turn being stolen...

NavyWife, I am sorry you had to go there, and I hope that your FS appointment went ok.. :hugs:

PhoenixRose, thank you for your caring advice :hugs:.. This 9 day lutheal phase has only happened this month, so I was freaking out... Normally it´s 12 days.. I was given progesterone some months, the ones I had stimulation from clomid and two more, before my then FS discarded a problem with lining or implantation with Estradiol blood test... Then they just send us to unexplained infertility again... So this time I asked Duo experts and their reply was both unhelpful and rude, so I´m waiting it out this month to see if everything goes back to normal...


----------



## Armywife84

Correction she had it Thursday... I found out Saturday. What made it so real was the pictures on FB of DH's brother holding his new daughter. :cry::cry: I can't shake that image out of my head. 

What's worse is I turned to DH for support got 5 minutes worth then it turned into an argument because he stopped. My DH hasn't been the least bit supportive thru this whole hell. :cry::cry: 

The support you ladies have shown me means a great deal to me, it's the only support I've had this whole time. Sad isn't it?? So thank you for virtually being there me last night when no one else was.


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## StorkStalker

Armywife.. its true.. unfortunately for us, in the real world this is a long and lonely road.. family doesn´t completely get it, friends (specially super fertile ones) don´t get it.. sometimes husbands get it, other times they are dumb/numb about it... I am not very good with words, but I get exactly how you feel, and I wish I could take that hurt away... from all of us... And at least in here we are not alone and we care for each other.. Big big hug...


----------



## LaurenTCanada

I want to vent about adoption! Just out of curiosity's sake I browsed through a local private adoption agency's website. The cost to adopt a baby is apparently between $14,000 - $18,000. WHAT?! Outrageous! Apparently IF couples have to be rich to get a baby. Sure, you can adopt through Child Protective Services at no cost, but you are guaranteed NOT to get an infant. I want to be there to witness the first smile, first laugh, first step, etc. I don't think I could handle adopting a toddler/young child from CPS.

Why is it welfare trash can have as many babies as they want with no one questioning their annual income?

My DH and I are financially stable although we do not make BIG $$. Apparently that is not enough. Adoption is out of the question. :nope:


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## wonderstars

I hear ya Lauren. When people comment "you can always adopt" I want to tell them that it isn't easy. You also don't automatically adopt a baby. Also, many adoptions in Canada are public adoptions which makes it so that a baby's parents can always be in touch. Not that I want to be mean but I want a baby to be my baby so that just wouldn't work for me, as much as that makes me sound selfish. :(

Ugh, Army, you sound like you need a good old shopping trip too. :( Wanna virtually shop with me and Navy? :friends:


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## LaurenTCanada

wonderstars said:


> I hear ya Lauren. When people comment "you can always adopt" I want to tell them that it isn't easy. You also don't automatically adopt a baby. Also, many adoptions in Canada are public adoptions which makes it so that a baby's parents can always be in touch. Not that I want to be mean but I want a baby to be my baby so that just wouldn't work for me, as much as that makes me sound selfish. :(

That is not selfish at all. I completely agree with you. You would think that keeping the birth parents in your child's life would cause unnecessary drama and confusion for that child. There is a reason the parents are giving their baby up for adoption in the first place. That is the whole point of it... because they can't take care of it. Automatically I feel it should all boil down to that.


----------



## wonderstars

I'm kicking myself for not going to get testing earlier with my gynecologist and not asking for a referral to a fertility specialist right away. I could been starting clomid and iui in feb! Now I may be wasting my clear tubes. :nope:

Vent over. I'm jealous of you ladies who have therapies in the near future. My follow up on feb 14 can't come soon enough.

Sigh. :cry:


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## Armywife84

I'm definitely jealous of any of you ladies making progress in your journey. We have to wait till after May to pinch back $$ for a few IUIs that most likely won't work. And cross our fingers that insurance will cover the visits, ultrasounds, and any meds. :cry::cry:


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## uwa_amanda

wonderstars said:


> I hear ya Lauren. When people comment "you can always adopt" I want to tell them that it isn't easy. You also don't automatically adopt a baby. Also, many adoptions in Canada are public adoptions which makes it so that a baby's parents can always be in touch. Not that I want to be mean but I want a baby to be my baby so that just wouldn't work for me, as much as that makes me sound selfish. :(
> 
> Ugh, Army, you sound like you need a good old shopping trip too. :( Wanna virtually shop with me and Navy? :friends:

I have replied that way. I have definitely said "it ain't that easy to adopt. You can't just go pick out a baby like you can a puppy and take it home.". I am fed up with know it all people who rub it all in my face. What I hate more is when my BEST friend responds, "well you can always play with my kids.". THAT pissed me off royally. So I hardly talk to her about it anymore. She, like everybody else, does not understand what we are going through. It has made me a very bitter person, this unexplained infertility.


----------



## lian_83

I'm doing my polypectomy surgery tomorrow, which I will pay from my meager savings. I know I could battle it out with my insurance company or my ex-husband's but it could take weeks if not months. I feel so tired already, I have already lost a husband because of my infertility (yup, I lost him because of this! he would have been a great dad and I'm really the loser in this. Thanks to this polyp..) :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

Anyway, I don't know if he's ever coming back but I decided to just remove this nasty thing ASAP because TBH, I'm so angry with it, and I'm so angry with myself for TTC blindly for almost 3 years without looking at the possibility that I have fertility issues. I spent hundreds of dollars on acupuncture and alternative treatments when this could have easily been spotted by a simple pelvic exam. It was my fault, I dug my own grave. :cry::cry::cry::cry:

My friends told me to stop blaming myself because my husband should have manned up and stuck with me throughout this, but our circumstances are extremely unique, being interracial and different cultures, and also the lack of support from his family. I mean, we always have great sex and that's something that sustained our relationship, but when we started TTC, at first it became more amazing, but soon, it turned to frustrations. The spontaneity was replaced with O-2, O-1, O and my hips on the wall. We avoided oral sex (because saliva kills sperm), no woman-on-top (because we don't want sperm to be going against gravity), and everything else... Plus everytime I get AF, I become so cranky towards him. :dohh:

sorry, long, long rant!!!:dohh:


----------



## LaurenTCanada

uwa_amanda said:


> wonderstars said:
> 
> 
> I hear ya Lauren. When people comment "you can always adopt" I want to tell them that it isn't easy. You also don't automatically adopt a baby. Also, many adoptions in Canada are public adoptions which makes it so that a baby's parents can always be in touch. Not that I want to be mean but I want a baby to be my baby so that just wouldn't work for me, as much as that makes me sound selfish. :(
> 
> Ugh, Army, you sound like you need a good old shopping trip too. :( Wanna virtually shop with me and Navy? :friends:
> 
> I have replied that way. I have definitely said "it ain't that easy to adopt. You can't just go pick out a baby like you can a puppy and take it home.". I am fed up with know it all people who rub it all in my face. What I hate more is when my BEST friend responds, "well you can always play with my kids.". THAT pissed me off royally. So I hardly talk to her about it anymore. She, like everybody else, does not understand what we are going through. It has made me a very bitter person, this unexplained infertility.Click to expand...

What a RUDE thing to say. Do people not THINK at ALL before they open their mouths? I wouldn't talk to her anymore. Goodbye!


----------



## NavyWife84

lian_83 said:


> I'm doing my polypectomy surgery tomorrow, which I will pay from my meager savings. I know I could battle it out with my insurance company or my ex-husband's but it could take weeks if not months. I feel so tired already, I have already lost a husband because of my infertility (yup, I lost him because of this! he would have been a great dad and I'm really the loser in this. Thanks to this polyp..) :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:
> 
> Anyway, I don't know if he's ever coming back but I decided to just remove this nasty thing ASAP because TBH, I'm so angry with it, and I'm so angry with myself for TTC blindly for almost 3 years without looking at the possibility that I have fertility issues. I spent hundreds of dollars on acupuncture and alternative treatments when this could have easily been spotted by a simple pelvic exam. It was my fault, I dug my own grave. :cry::cry::cry::cry:
> 
> My friends told me to stop blaming myself because my husband should have manned up and stuck with me throughout this, but our circumstances are extremely unique, being interracial and different cultures, and also the lack of support from his family. I mean, we always have great sex and that's something that sustained our relationship, but when we started TTC, at first it became more amazing, but soon, it turned to frustrations. The spontaneity was replaced with O-2, O-1, O and my hips on the wall. We avoided oral sex (because saliva kills sperm), no woman-on-top (because we don't want sperm to be going against gravity), and everything else... Plus everytime I get AF, I become so cranky towards him. :dohh:
> 
> sorry, long, long rant!!!:dohh:

DH and I go through that with our sex life. It has become more of a chore. I try to spice things up, but he thinks lingiree is a waste (he'd rather see me naked) and neither of us are confident for toys or anything. Sometimes he makes me feel so unattractive because there is no foreplay or anything! He says he is always "too tired". Neither of us had a very good sex drive to begin with, but now I feel like he is pulling away from it. I just wish we could get pregnant already so neither of us feels pressured anymore! We avoid oral sex as well but I have to be on top as he just had knee surgery and can't be on top (there goes the possibility of multiple positions!) 

Oh dear, I was trying to let you know that you aren't the only one, but I ended up turning it into my own rant! Anyway, I'm really sorry all of this is happening to you and it messed up your marriage. But please don't be angry at yourself. A lot of women wait to get things checked out. :hugs:


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## lian_83

Thanks Navy! It sucks, right?? I hope u get your :bfp: soon.
____

Need to rant again - another pregnant friend from a popped condom. They've only been going out for 2 months and just like that.. :growlmad: I want to die!!


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## Armywife84

Evidently they've never heard of the morning after pill. 

Insurance rant (for a change):

So apparently my ultrasound was denied by TriCare stating that I'm in the wrong region??!! :growlmad: My location is completely irrelevant you feckers! What if I had an asthma attack in IL and had to go to the ER? It's not covered because I had it on TriCare North's turf? I don't think so. 

Basically I had to call all sorts of insurance numbers and sort out my claims that have been submitted by the hospital, so I can fecking wrap up this last round of fertility testing! Then call back the healthcare manager to tell her what to do, because she doesn't know how to deal with TriCare. Hell, the reps at TriCare are ignorant twats who don't even know what they're doing! They better all be covered :growlmad:. I don't need this right now. :gun:


----------



## wonderstars

Yuck, as if infertility isn't enough, it sucks that one always has to worry about the financial crap and/or fighting the insurance companies. Boo. I hope it doesn't take long to sort, Army.

Oh the good old popped condom. Was she not on the pill? Crikey.

No vents from me today because it's one of those day where it's all so pointless. In a 2WW. I shouldn't expect anything but there's that one little part of my brain that won't shut the f* up with it's positivity.


----------



## cooch

Wow ladies- this thread has really taken off!! I wonder why, lol. 

Wonderstars are you on meds as well??


----------



## StorkStalker

OH vent... Why, why why is it that my DH can not understand why I melt down when a pregnancy is announced and/or a baby is born?? He is clueless as why this affects or concerns me in any way!!! I can´t stand that he looks at me like I am a mad person when I blow up because another friend is having their 2nd baby while we are trying... He just tells me that shouldn´t get to me, it´s their story not ours and why can´t I just be happy for them?? WHY?? why should I be happy for anyone one more time, and not for me?? And why does my H not feel the same?? It drives me mad that people we know have gone from NT to TTC to Pregnant to Baby... to NT between babies, to TTC 2nd one, to pregnant, to having 2nd baby (and so).. WHILE we have been LTTC... :dohh: I can not feel happy or even indifferent about this... And I want to strangle my H for not getting it after ALL THIS TIME.


----------



## cooch

Totally get you. My poor DH is feeling every pregnancy announcement too though, kinda wish I could take it away from him. He is hurting quite a bit too. x


----------



## wonderstars

StorkStalker, our husbands should get together. Mine looks at me like I'm an alien when I am distraught over another announcement. "Be happy for them. I don't understand why you can't be. Our journey is just a different one". F* the journey. I hear ya lady, I hear ya.

Cooch, not on meds yet. I'm hoping at my appointment my Gyne makes the Fertility Specialist referral and tries me on a few rounds of clomid while I wait (4 months or so). Other than the fact that my cervix is high and narrow, there really shouldn't be anything else stopping us. :shrug:


----------



## Armywife84

StorkStalker- I simply tell my DH I don't have that much happiness to go around. There's just too many to try to be happy for while we're wallowing in our own self pity (someone's got to do it, no one else pays us any mind).

My Rant: I with Wonderstars I'm not feeling this 2WW. There's nothing in my womb. So if I could get induced into a deep sleep for the next 9 days that would be wonderful!

One thing that really annoys me is when celebrities get pregnant. It's like the baby bump is a fashion accessory rather than wanting to expand your family, or the will to be a mother. :growlmad:


----------



## wonderstars

Armywife84 said:


> One thing that really annoys me is when celebrities get pregnant. It's like the baby bump is a fashion accessory rather than wanting to expand your family, or the will to be a mother. :growlmad:

I was just going to snoop on the forum this evening but omg, this this this. Also the fact that they don't come out and tell people how hard it was to get pregnant at 40 years of age etc...

While I'm here, yet another cycle with short luteal phase. Spotting at 8DPO. I've heard that Clomid helps so he better be giving it to me on the Feb 14th appt. :growlmad:


----------



## Calasen

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure whether to be happy or very angry right now!!! 

Just got back from my new doctor, who is brillient! for a completely unrelated issue to TTC, for blood test results and he decided to look back over the last load of blood tests I had done going back 3 years. He knows we have been TTC for a while now and noticed that in every test my progesterone levels were in fact very low, they are supposed to be between 8-20 ng/ml and mine are all coming back around 2 ng/ml. Each of these tests we had been told that they were fine!!!!! He's reordered the progeterons tests for 21 days in cycle (now to just wait for :witch: ), recommendid Clomid if it still comes back low, and started ball rolling for OH to get a seman analysis.

The last doctor we had, had assured us all was fine and that there was nothing to be done until 2 years, and was basically an evil b****.

Am very tempted to file a complaint but if I do that I may lose new doctor as they are in the same practice. :(


----------



## SunUp

Ugh.
This cycle SUCKS. I don't want to feel crampy now, because of ovulation. Since there is no chance for a natural pregnancy I don't want to feel any part of my cycle until its an IVF Cycle. 

I guess I just hate waiting!

Oh and I have wasted a TON of money on OPKs, HPTs, etc. I was such a POASA.


----------



## Armywife84

Just complaining about my ultrasound tomorrow..already had one over a year ago and that stupid gyno failed to fax those results to my new one. So I have to get it done tomorrow then I have a lap plus hysteroscopy Friday. So looking forward to those, not!! 

The only new info I have is that my uterus tips slightly forward, but he said it doesn't affect fertility whatsoever. 

I feel bad for saying this but I wish my DH didn't have crap sperm so we could've conceived in the normal year!!! :cry:


----------



## wannabeprego

Armywife84 said:


> Just complaining about my ultrasound tomorrow..already had one over a year ago and that stupid gyno failed to fax those results to my new one. So I have to get it done tomorrow then I have a lap plus hysteroscopy Friday. So looking forward to those, not!!
> 
> The only new info I have is that my uterus tips slightly forward, but he said it doesn't affect fertility whatsoever.
> 
> I feel bad for saying this but I wish my DH didn't have crap sperm so we could've conceived in the normal year!!! :cry:

Good luck with your surgeries on Friday hun...:hugs::hugs: 

I can relate to your feelings about your DH's :spermy: problems, since mine has a low :spermy: count..... It makes everything so much more challenging... ugghhh... Do you have your DH on a multivitamin to help increase count and motility??? If not than i have a few that I can recommend to you. My DH had improvement from the first SA to the second one from using vitamins so I think they really do help. 

I decided to go ahead with both surgeries and scheduled my hysteroscopy and lap for March 6th because my DR was all booked up with surgeries for the entire month of February so she cant get me in until March. I was looking at a cycle tracker that I use though and it looks like I need to reschedule it for the end of March because the timing is totally off and i would be ovulating at that time and the surgery needs to be done at the beginning of your cycle before OV. :dohh: So tomorrow i am going to call to reschedule. I decided that I better do both procedures instead of just the hysteroscopy to get them both done and over with at the same time and to only have to go under anethesia once and also to make sure I have the best possible chance to finally get my BFP!!! :thumbup:


----------



## wonderstars

Good luck army! I'm sure things will go swimmingly.

I've heard some very good things from legit sources that co-enzyme q can help with sperm quality and quantity. That might be worth a shot.

Lots of hugs ladies.


----------



## StorkStalker

:hugs: Good luck in your ultrasound Army!! :flower:
Big hug to everyone else too.. :hugs:
LTTC sucks..


----------



## wannabeprego

wannabeprego said:


> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> Just complaining about my ultrasound tomorrow..already had one over a year ago and that stupid gyno failed to fax those results to my new one. So I have to get it done tomorrow then I have a lap plus hysteroscopy Friday. So looking forward to those, not!!
> 
> The only new info I have is that my uterus tips slightly forward, but he said it doesn't affect fertility whatsoever.
> 
> I feel bad for saying this but I wish my DH didn't have crap sperm so we could've conceived in the normal year!!! :cry:
> 
> Good luck with your surgeries on Friday hun...:hugs::hugs:
> 
> I can relate to your feelings about your DH's :spermy: problems, since mine has a low :spermy: count..... It makes everything so much more challenging... ugghhh... Do you have your DH on a multivitamin to help increase count and motility??? If not than i have a few that I can recommend to you. My DH had improvement from the first SA to the second one from using vitamins so I think they really do help.
> 
> I decided to go ahead with both surgeries and scheduled my hysteroscopy and lap for March 6th because my DR was all booked up with surgeries for the entire month of February so she cant get me in until March. I was looking at a cycle tracker that I use though and it looks like I need to reschedule it for the end of March because the timing is totally off and i would be ovulating at that time and the surgery needs to be done at the beginning of your cycle before OV. :dohh: So tomorrow i am going to call to reschedule. I decided that I better do both procedures instead of just the hysteroscopy to get them both done and over with at the same time and to only have to go under anethesia once and also to make sure I have the best possible chance to finally get my BFP!!! :thumbup:Click to expand...

So I talked to the DR's office and the scheduler explained to me that it is okay if I am ovulating when the surgeries take place, Me and DH will probably just abstain from sex during my fertile window so that I dont have any chance of pregnancy that cycle. I hate to put the surgery off any longer to the next cycle because I am anxious to get back on board with TTC for the next cycle which will start for me around the 19th of March based on that surgery date. Tomorrow my DR is going to call me back to answer some additional questions that I have about the surgery as well since she was out of the office today.


----------



## Jenny.Bean

Been trying for almost 2 years now and 5 of my friends are pregnant?!?!?! 4 of them were unexpected!!!! It seems everyone I know is having an easy time with it except me. I found out 2 friends were pregnant on the same day and it took everything I had to not break down on the phone with them (had a good :cry: at home thought). I know it's not their fault but I can't help feeling this way!

I see the fertility doctor in March to start treatment and the hopefully it will be me next... 

I feel much better that I got that off my chest


----------



## Jenny.Bean

:sad1: ALSO, holy crap did my HSG test hurt. They said mild cramping... LIES!


----------



## Skoer1360

OK- not about ltttc but: DH HAS BEEN F*%)(&% SENT TO COLLECTIONS!

He got a letter in the mail today that he thought was his w2 for his taxes but when he opened it up, it was a letter from a collections agency for 482.40! Apparently he hasn't paid his bill in _THREE YEARS_! ARGHHHHHH! WTF! I understand if you didn't have the money before we combined checking accounts and had to go a month or two, but we have money now! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST PAY IT!? :growlmad: I am SO livid right now! We were going to try and buy a house this year, but I'm attempting to repair my own credit and his is obviously down the shitter so we'll probably have to wait another 2ish years before I would feel confident enough to even apply for a home loan :hissy: :hissy: :hissy:

GAHHHHHH! and he's normally so good with money too :dohh: I just don't understand what got into him? :growlmad:


----------



## keepthefaithx

Hey guys im new here!

Friends little sister finding out sex of baby soon, i got 2 baby shower invites in the last week, & i have 4 baby birthdays in the next month.

Fml.


----------



## phoenixrose

Skoer1360 said:


> OK- not about ltttc but: DH HAS BEEN F*%)(&% SENT TO COLLECTIONS!
> 
> He got a letter in the mail today that he thought was his w2 for his taxes but when he opened it up, it was a letter from a collections agency for 482.40! Apparently he hasn't paid his bill in _THREE YEARS_! ARGHHHHHH! WTF! I understand if you didn't have the money before we combined checking accounts and had to go a month or two, but we have money now! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST PAY IT!? :growlmad: I am SO livid right now! We were going to try and buy a house this year, but I'm attempting to repair my own credit and his is obviously down the shitter so we'll probably have to wait another 2ish years before I would feel confident enough to even apply for a home loan :hissy: :hissy: :hissy:
> 
> GAHHHHHH! and he's normally so good with money too :dohh: I just don't understand what got into him? :growlmad:

I understand your frustration, I've been there. But you'd be surprised how something like that may not affect you. They care mostly about your credit score, how much money you have (your assets), and how much debt you have. We actually had someone steal my DH's identity right before we bought our house. His credit had dropped a little, but at the moment we didn't have much debt and we had money in the bank so we were fine. I say it doesn't hurt to try.


----------



## phoenixrose

Ok, I haven't vented in a while, so here I go...

So 3 rounds of stupid clomid and bad moods and nothing. A faint line on the beta test on round 1, ended up being a value of 2 (it's suppose to pick it up at 5), so not even sure if that counts as a chemical. So now I'm onto Follistim spending 2-3 times the amount of $$$, and having to inject myself...FML!!!

On top of that...I get to my first occupational therapy appointment today (I work with kids), and this lady has 4 kids...quadruplets. She definitly understands my pain because she went through 4 failed IVF treatments and finally had success with IVF attempt #5. She's actually been great to talk to. BUT after seeing kid #1, the behavior therapist comes out from seeing one of the other kids and I'm 90% sure she's pregnant. So now I get to see a pregnant woman's growing belly every Wednesday...FML x2!!!!!


----------



## Armywife84

wannabeprego said:


> wannabeprego said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> Just complaining about my ultrasound tomorrow..already had one over a year ago and that stupid gyno failed to fax those results to my new one. So I have to get it done tomorrow then I have a lap plus hysteroscopy Friday. So looking forward to those, not!!
> 
> The only new info I have is that my uterus tips slightly forward, but he said it doesn't affect fertility whatsoever.
> 
> I feel bad for saying this but I wish my DH didn't have crap sperm so we could've conceived in the normal year!!! :cry:
> 
> Good luck with your surgeries on Friday hun...:hugs::hugs:
> 
> I can relate to your feelings about your DH's :spermy: problems, since mine has a low :spermy: count..... It makes everything so much more challenging... ugghhh... Do you have your DH on a multivitamin to help increase count and motility??? If not than i have a few that I can recommend to you. My DH had improvement from the first SA to the second one from using vitamins so I think they really do help.
> 
> I decided to go ahead with both surgeries and scheduled my hysteroscopy and lap for March 6th because my DR was all booked up with surgeries for the entire month of February so she cant get me in until March. I was looking at a cycle tracker that I use though and it looks like I need to reschedule it for the end of March because the timing is totally off and i would be ovulating at that time and the surgery needs to be done at the beginning of your cycle before OV. :dohh: So tomorrow i am going to call to reschedule. I decided that I better do both procedures instead of just the hysteroscopy to get them both done and over with at the same time and to only have to go under anethesia once and also to make sure I have the best possible chance to finally get my BFP!!! :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> So I talked to the DR's office and the scheduler explained to me that it is okay if I am ovulating when the surgeries take place, Me and DH will probably just abstain from sex during my fertile window so that I dont have any chance of pregnancy that cycle. I hate to put the surgery off any longer to the next cycle because I am anxious to get back on board with TTC for the next cycle which will start for me around the 19th of March based on that surgery date. Tomorrow my DR is going to call me back to answer some additional questions that I have about the surgery as well since she was out of the office today.Click to expand...

DH's on that GNC wellness vitamin, I believe your DH is on. This is our fourth bottle so not sure it's making a difference :shrug:. 

Luckily mine's a few days before my period, then you have to abstain from sex for 2 weeks. When we go to :sex: then it will be closing in on ovulation. I'll let you know how it goes. I would schedule it like that, even if it means waiting another couple of months. You want to increase your chance for a possible HSG baby. Which I'm naively hoping for. :blush:

Skoer- Sorry to hear about that! I'm sure he can call and settle it for half of what he owes..

Phoneix- Argh!! Isn't there another therapist you could see in the office? I wouldn't be able to deal with that...my anxiety would be thru the roof!!

RANT:

There's nothing more disheartening (Ladies who have had MCs probably went through this) than seeing a screen with an empty womb.:cry::cry:


----------



## phoenixrose

Armywife: I work in home health and as a home health therapist I'd be nuts to give up being able to see 4 in a row at one house, without having to travel in between each one...so I just have to deal. I'm trying to stay positive that this first round of follistim will work and i can join her special club :wacko:


----------



## wannabeprego

Armywife84 said:


> wannabeprego said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> wannabeprego said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> Just complaining about my ultrasound tomorrow..already had one over a year ago and that stupid gyno failed to fax those results to my new one. So I have to get it done tomorrow then I have a lap plus hysteroscopy Friday. So looking forward to those, not!!
> 
> The only new info I have is that my uterus tips slightly forward, but he said it doesn't affect fertility whatsoever.
> 
> I feel bad for saying this but I wish my DH didn't have crap sperm so we could've conceived in the normal year!!! :cry:
> 
> Good luck with your surgeries on Friday hun...:hugs::hugs:
> 
> I can relate to your feelings about your DH's :spermy: problems, since mine has a low :spermy: count..... It makes everything so much more challenging... ugghhh... Do you have your DH on a multivitamin to help increase count and motility??? If not than i have a few that I can recommend to you. My DH had improvement from the first SA to the second one from using vitamins so I think they really do help.
> 
> I decided to go ahead with both surgeries and scheduled my hysteroscopy and lap for March 6th because my DR was all booked up with surgeries for the entire month of February so she cant get me in until March. I was looking at a cycle tracker that I use though and it looks like I need to reschedule it for the end of March because the timing is totally off and i would be ovulating at that time and the surgery needs to be done at the beginning of your cycle before OV. :dohh: So tomorrow i am going to call to reschedule. I decided that I better do both procedures instead of just the hysteroscopy to get them both done and over with at the same time and to only have to go under anethesia once and also to make sure I have the best possible chance to finally get my BFP!!! :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> So I talked to the DR's office and the scheduler explained to me that it is okay if I am ovulating when the surgeries take place, Me and DH will probably just abstain from sex during my fertile window so that I dont have any chance of pregnancy that cycle. I hate to put the surgery off any longer to the next cycle because I am anxious to get back on board with TTC for the next cycle which will start for me around the 19th of March based on that surgery date. Tomorrow my DR is going to call me back to answer some additional questions that I have about the surgery as well since she was out of the office today.Click to expand...
> 
> DH's on that GNC wellness vitamin, I believe your DH is on. This is our fourth bottle so not sure it's making a difference :shrug:.
> 
> Luckily mine's a few days before my period, then you have to abstain from sex for 2 weeks. When we go to :sex: then it will be closing in on ovulation. I'll let you know how it goes. I would schedule it like that, even if it means waiting another couple of months. You want to increase your chance for a possible HSG baby. Which I'm naively hoping for. :blush:
> 
> Skoer- Sorry to hear about that! I'm sure he can call and settle it for half of what he owes..
> 
> Phoneix- Argh!! Isn't there another therapist you could see in the office? I wouldn't be able to deal with that...my anxiety would be thru the roof!!
> 
> RANT:
> 
> There's nothing more disheartening (Ladies who have had MCs probably went through this) than seeing a screen with an empty womb.:cry::cry:Click to expand...

Yeah, the ones that My DH is on are the GNC Daily Wellness Fertility Blend in the green box with the picture of the couple on the front...:thumbup:

Unfortunatly the beginning of my March cycle will be a bust because the surgery will fall right during my ovulation time frame so me and DH will have to abstain from :sex: to prevent pregnancy that cycle, but my AF should be arriving around the 19th of March and I will start a new cycle and DH and me should be able to get back on the TTC band wagon again, so I will only loose out on one cycle. 

Definatly keep me updated and let me know how everything goes!!!:hugs::hugs:


----------



## Armywife84

phoenixrose said:


> Armywife: I work in home health and as a home health therapist I'd be nuts to give up being able to see 4 in a row at one house, without having to travel in between each one...so I just have to deal. I'm trying to stay positive that this first round of follistim will work and i can join her special club :wacko:

Ah, I see. So sorry that you have to deal with that. :hugs: Argh, that "elite" baby club. :wacko::wacko:


----------



## uwa_amanda

Armywife84 said:


> There's nothing more disheartening (Ladies who have had MCs probably went through this) than seeing a screen with an empty womb.:cry::cry:

The first time I had an ultrasound it took all I had to keep from crying. The second time, I was unprepared for it and it really choked me up to go through an ultrasound and see nothing in there. I was so sad about that for a couple of days after both ultrasounds. UGH!!!!!! :cry: :cry: :cry:


----------



## urchin

I'm so very glad that we don't really do baby showers over here - they seem design to make those of us LTTTC feel as desolate as possible ... I just really hope the custom doesn't come over here like trick or treating did

and THAT annoys me too ... not so much the actual trick or treating (kids dressing up and having fun is cool in my book) but it's the way it happens.
Now I may be wrong (and I'm aware that my knowledge of american trick or treating comes from films and tv) but my understanding is that an adult or older sibling goes trick or treating with the little ones .... over here there are frighteningly young children knocking on doors unsupervised - it must be a pedophiles dream come true


----------



## Skoer1360

Yes, usually someone 'older' comes with, be it a parent or older sibling to make sure that exact thing doesn't happen! That's awful they let little kids alone, in the dark, knocking on stranger's doors! I'd have a panic attack if someone let my kid do that lol


----------



## urchin

thanks for putting my mind at rest Skoer - to me it seems absolutely appallingly irresponsible to let children go knocking on strangers doors.....all someone would need to do is dress their house up good and spooky and invite them in for sweeties....just doesn't bear thinking about :(


----------



## Armywife84

Well had the ultrasound yesterday and the doctor's office just called to leave a voicemail stating that everything looked pretty normal, BUT there were follicles on both ovaries. :saywhat: So I'm waiting on them to call me back.

I don't have any of the symptoms of PCOS besides adult acne!! I have regular periods, the blood tests I had in '10 confirmed I ovulated..I've gotten positive ovulation tests (not every time, but just figured my ovulation window was short), and have plenty of CM. Just don't understand :shrug:. 

Now, I'm really upset because our chances of conceiving naturally are pretty much non-existent with my apparent PCOS and his not so great sperm. :cry::cry: I might as well hang it up and accept the childless card. :cry::cry::cry:


----------



## Skoer1360

:hugs: don't give up yet! There's always IUI/IVF!


----------



## wonderstars

Armywife84 said:


> Well had the ultrasound yesterday and the doctor's office just called to leave a voicemail stating that everything looked pretty normal, BUT there were follicles on both ovaries. :saywhat: So I'm waiting on them to call me back.
> 
> I don't have any of the symptoms of PCOS besides adult acne!! I have regular periods, the blood tests I had in '10 confirmed I ovulated..I've gotten positive ovulation tests (not every time, but just figured my ovulation window was short), and have plenty of CM. Just don't understand :shrug:.
> 
> Now, I'm really upset because our chances of conceiving naturally are pretty much non-existent with my apparent PCOS and his not so great sperm. :cry::cry: I might as well hang it up and accept the childless card. :cry::cry::cry:

Nope nope nope. No hanging it up. Follicles or cysts on your ovaries? Small follicles are good, they mean you're about to ovulate. They have to be 1 cm (or is it 2) cm to be called a cyst. 

PCOS doesn't mean you can't have kids, neither does low/poor sperm. Assisted reproduction may be in your future but you know what? It's in many many of our futures, we can do it. 

I written this awesome post replying to everyone last night and then the site wouldn't load and I'm too lazy to retype. In summary:

Hugs to all!

No rant today because I've been reading this amazing book about a woman's struggles with infertility. While she ends up childless not by choice, her frustrations are very well written and ring very true. It's called "Silent Sorority". I'll have to come back and post some bits of it.


----------



## blueeyedgirl1

This is my first vent in this thread, hope I'm not overstepping any boundaries?

I've had a shitty week.

Last Thursday my doctor found a lump in my breast. Spent all weekend super anxious and worried but thankfully found out on Monday it's nothing serious. But it really turned me upside down.

Last Friday had a call from the nurse, the bloods I had done for my FS referral weren't done properly and I had to come do them again...more delay in the referral. Had them done on Tue so hopefully by early next week the referral will be written. But my GP is leaving the practice so am really worried it's all going to be forgotten & not done.

On Wed I had my first CBT appointment and realised it's not going to be the miracle cure I thought it was going to be. Super downer and haven't admitted this to my OH yet...and probably won't.

With everything going on I'd tried to put TTC to the back of my mind a bit but yesterday morning it all crept into my head again and thinking about it all logically and realistically, it's not my month AGAIN. No point in kidding myself, I know my body well enough by now. But there's always that STUPID part of my brain which tries to keep my hopes up and it just leads to a rollercoaster of disappointment. I wish I could just accept it's not happened again this time, and I'll just have to wait for AF to show and start again and look forward to hopefully seeing the FS soon.

I WISH sooooo much that bit of my brain would shut up. No, I'm not pregnant. No, there's not "always a chance". Just no. Get over it, move on to the next cycle and LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!


----------



## phoenixrose

Armywife84 said:


> Well had the ultrasound yesterday and the doctor's office just called to leave a voicemail stating that everything looked pretty normal, BUT there were follicles on both ovaries. :saywhat: So I'm waiting on them to call me back.
> 
> I don't have any of the symptoms of PCOS besides adult acne!! I have regular periods, the blood tests I had in '10 confirmed I ovulated..I've gotten positive ovulation tests (not every time, but just figured my ovulation window was short), and have plenty of CM. Just don't understand :shrug:.
> 
> Now, I'm really upset because our chances of conceiving naturally are pretty much non-existent with my apparent PCOS and his not so great sperm. :cry::cry: I might as well hang it up and accept the childless card. :cry::cry::cry:

I hate it when they leave you cryptic messages without explaining it. I would be confused by that message. What cd were you scanned? You're suppose to have some follicles, it's when you have too many on both sides is when you might have PCOS. Plus you could have polycystic ovaries without having the syndrome, that's what I have. My body tries to start maturing too many follicles each month but all my bloods come back fine, I'm thin, don't have a lot of hair, and I do have adult acne but FS said it's nothing compared to those with PCOS. The only way they found mine was through a scan. But don't give up there's still clomid and injectables with or without IUI. Right now I'm on my first round of injections, maybe I can give you some hope soon.


----------



## phoenixrose

Blueeuedgirl: that eternal hope really does suck at times. I especially hate it when I'm 13dpo, POAS got a bfn, have cramps, but AF hasn't come yet and I think "well the :witch: isn't here yet, maybe I could still be pg?!" :dohh:


----------



## wannabeprego

Armywife84 said:


> Well had the ultrasound yesterday and the doctor's office just called to leave a voicemail stating that everything looked pretty normal, BUT there were follicles on both ovaries. :saywhat: So I'm waiting on them to call me back.
> 
> I don't have any of the symptoms of PCOS besides adult acne!! I have regular periods, the blood tests I had in '10 confirmed I ovulated..I've gotten positive ovulation tests (not every time, but just figured my ovulation window was short), and have plenty of CM. Just don't understand :shrug:.
> 
> Now, I'm really upset because our chances of conceiving naturally are pretty much non-existent with my apparent PCOS and his not so great sperm. :cry::cry: I might as well hang it up and accept the childless card. :cry::cry::cry:

I am sorry you are having a ruff time hun.. Big Hugs to you hun...:hugs::hugs:

Try not to jump to conclusions until you can talk to your DR's office to have them explain the results better to you... dont forget they mentioned things looked "normal"... As the other girls said it is normal to have some follicles during certain points of your cycle, so try to stay calm and dont worry yourself, although I know this is of course easier said than done... Please keep me updated and let me know what the DR says when they call you back about the results...:hugs: I do think that if the Dr's office saw a problem they would of told you that they needed to speak to you and most likely wouldn't of said that things looked "normal"... hang in there hun...:hugs:

This is a defination I found online for follicles..

_"Ovarian follicles are the basic units of female reproductive biology, each of which is composed of roughly spherical aggregations of cells found in the ovary. They contain a single oocyte (immature ovum or egg). These structures are periodically initiated to grow and develop, culminating in ovulation of usually a single competent oocyte in humans. These eggs/ova are only developed once every menstrual cycle (e.g. once a month in humans)."_

Also were you close to ovulation when you did the test.. them seeing follicles could mean you were getting ready to OV....:hugs:


----------



## Skoer1360

Okay, rant for the day:

I'm the last of my original group of bnb ladies to get pregnant :sad1:

this sucks


----------



## wannabeprego

Skoer1360 said:


> Okay, rant for the day:
> 
> I'm the last of my original group of bnb ladies to get pregnant :sad1:
> 
> this sucks

@SKoer, the same thing happened to me hun with a group I was on when I first joined the site over a year ago, so i feel your pain... Now they are all planning for baby #2, and here I am still trying to even get my BFP for #1,:cry: big hugs to you hun... :hugs: :hugs:


----------



## wonderstars

That sucks skoer. :( I'm the last of my group of friends to get pregnant, and these people I have to see in real life. 

Rant:
Really? Is it officially "show your baby picture" day on Facebook? Seriously now. I don't even blame the girls. Grrr.


----------



## StorkStalker

Skoer.. :hugs: I know it´s not much help.. but I really hope that means that your turn is next.. 
ArmyWife, have you had more info on the follicle thing?? I also believe that could be a sign that you were near OV time.. 

And yes, it seems like every day is global day of show your kid/pg belly on FB.. I barely get on there now.. It´s like walking through a mine yard.. pg announcements, delivery room pics.. birthday parties... One of my friends made her dog a fb years ago, so I was friends with this dog (stupid I know), and last week the dog announced he was becoming a big brother... :dohh:


----------



## urchin

Here's my facebook plan (I've thought about this a LOT as you might be able to tell!)

Thing is - I like facebook....and I expect that if I am lucky enough to get my BFP, I jolly well will announce it.

But what I thought I'd do is this:
Put up ONE status about it with a comment underneath saying something like:
I know that a fair proportion of my friends have just groaned at seeing yet another pregnancy announcement - some of you I know are struggling to conceive, as I have - and others simply have no interest whatsoever in my breeding habits.
So, if you would like to be included in the group of people who will be able to see future baby related announcements, please like this statement
If you'd rather not, no need to do anything ... I'll just not put you in the group!

Then, all baby related posts will only be tagged to those who want to know - and those who don't can continue being updated on my baking and house related adventures, free from the worry of impending scan pics


----------



## phoenixrose

Urchin: that is very sweet of you to be so considerate.

Storkstalker: LMAO! That must have sucked to see that announcement but at the same time you have to admit, it had to of been kind of funny.


----------



## Skoer1360

StorkStalker: Ya, I hope it means I'm next too but I doubt it at this point...

Oh Urchin! That's such a great idea... I might just steal it ;) because I know I will want to practically shout it from the rooftops when it happens (okay, like 8 weeks later lol) but I do know how much it sucks seeing them all the time when I wish I had a choice.

Also: Found out my freaking OBGYN is pregnant too (sil works at the womens clinic)!! wtf? Gah, I'm getting a man obgyn atleast then I know _he_ can't get pregnant!


----------



## urchin

steal away Skoer - I thought long and hard about it, and it really was the best solution I could come up with, cuz I KNOW I will want to share scans pics and bump pics and how excited I am with the whole thing (if I'm lucky enough to get there!)

But I also know that right now I tend to hide pregnant friends from my newsfeed (I re-add them when babies are born ... for some reason I cope much better with babies than preggy ladies) so I want to give friends the option of not having to see all of the baby stuff if they don't want to - but still be able to keep up with other bits of my life :D


----------



## wonderstars

You OBGYN is pregnant?! Oh man, that trumps it all, lol. I'm glad mine is a 50-something year old man. I believe he also refers to the fertility specialist who is also a 50-something year old man. Thank goodness....

...who'd have thought I'd prefer men looking up my hooha?! :dohh:

I have just been obsessed lately with this stuff. :( I think it's because my appointment is on the 14th and I'm itching for things to start. Turns out the clinic in my town is a 6 month wait which totally bums me out. :( I did find that a few ladies on another board got into see a FS in 1-2 months in the city south of me(3-4 hr drive). I am completely wiling to do that if it means I'm 4-5 months ahead of pace.


----------



## Skoer1360

wonderstars said:


> You OBGYN is pregnant?! Oh man, that trumps it all, lol. I'm glad mine is a 50-something year old man. I believe he also refers to the fertility specialist who is also a 50-something year old man. Thank goodness....
> 
> *...who'd have thought I'd prefer men looking up my hooha?!* :dohh:

lol, that's what I thought!


----------



## urchin

there is no dignity in this game - and odd how quickly you get used to having random conversations with people who are rootling around your chuff!


----------



## phoenixrose

urchin said:


> there is no dignity in this game - and odd how quickly you get used to having random conversations with people who are rootling around your chuff!

LMAO!!!! So true. I've had that u/s wand up there so many times by now it doesn't even phase me any more.


----------



## NavyWife84

urchin said:


> steal away Skoer - I thought long and hard about it, and it really was the best solution I could come up with, cuz I KNOW I will want to share scans pics and bump pics and how excited I am with the whole thing (if I'm lucky enough to get there!)
> 
> But I also know that right now I tend to hide pregnant friends from my newsfeed (I re-add them when babies are born ... for some reason I cope much better with babies than preggy ladies) so I want to give friends the option of not having to see all of the baby stuff if they don't want to - but still be able to keep up with other bits of my life :D

My best friend got preggers her first month trying and every once in a while she posts on FB. But most of the time, she just posts on her blog and then posts a link up on FB. I told her once that I couldn't promise to keep up with her blog as it is often too hard for me. Being the awesome person she is, she totally understands...well, maybe she doesn't understand, but she is totally supportive! She is really good at keeping up with the blog. While she was preggo, she kept up with it weekly. Now that the baby is here, she writes in it at least once a month. I always know when she posts a new entry on her blog because she posts the link on FB, but it isn't shoved down my throat. If I am having a good day, I read it. If not, I just ignore it. She will just write, "New post up on the blog, check it out!" I feel like this would be a lot less work than tagging people in posts all the time...just an idea to consider.


----------



## NavyWife84

She also likes the blog because she can turn her entries into a book and print it out for her baby to read when he gets older. She has everything saved since she found out she was pregnant! What a wonderful keepsake!


----------



## phoenixrose

NavyWife84 said:


> She also likes the blog because she can turn her entries into a book and print it out for her baby to read when he gets older. She has everything saved since she found out she was pregnant! What a wonderful keepsake!

What a great idea, thanks for that.


----------



## cooch

That's a nice idea about the blog. How did the follicle tracking go armywife??


----------



## Sam_1980

Arghhhhh sorry just need to vent and this seems the place to do it! Cant even shop on eBay without being reminded of my barren state :( Was looking at a lovely dress size 10...description read...brand new as i got pregnant shortly after purchase so didnt have the chance to wear!!! Boohoo i'm feeling sorry for myself this week :cry:
You'd think i'd be immune to this stuff by now...some weeks, months, years are better than others...it'll pass :dohh:


----------



## cooch

Sam_1980 said:


> Arghhhhh sorry just need to vent and this seems the place to do it! Cant even shop on eBay without being reminded of my barren state :( Was looking at a lovely dress size 10...description read...brand new as i got pregnant shortly after purchase so didnt have the chance to wear!!! Boohoo i'm feeling sorry for myself this week :cry:
> You'd think i'd be immune to this stuff by now...some weeks, months, years are better than others...it'll pass :dohh:

Yup, everywhere we turn.


----------



## NavyWife84

Ugh...two more fb announcements tonight. I usually don't go on fb that often. One of the announcements was my ex-best friend. She has been totally inconsiderate through my whole infertility journey and it really isn't fair that she got preggo so easily. She still parties and she and her dh are waay immature. I found out a long time ago because she posted on bnb, a site I told her about! Then, when I said something to her, she asked me not to tell anyone and oh yeah, by the way, "I didn't want you to find out that way." So why the hell did you post it on the site I told you about that I go to for support. I cut her off after that. Of course, there is a long history of sh*t she has put me through, but this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Time to delete her...

The friend that I posted about above, the one who does the blog, texted me right away when she saw the other friend's fb announcement to see if I am okay...she's such a good friend <3

Also, work is sooo stressful right now. I just finished telling my boss that I am doing fertility treatments and she still is loading me with waaay too much on my plate. How is my first month of treatments even going to have a chance?

Feeling really down today :(


----------



## Lawyer chick

I'm new to this thread but had a icky day. I have a child from an earlier relationship he is nearly 17. Yesterday right before bed I found out my son father (who isn't in his life and dh has adopted ) has had a second childwith his wife. He has a daughter born 3 yrs ago. When I saw she got preg first w the daught it was like one one kicked my gut and pulled my heart out. 

We live in same town and a photographer friend did a photoshop for them. Ugh. At least I woke up knowing my feelings are fertility related not in any care or him


----------



## wonderstars

Not a good start to the week. Lots of hugs ladies.

Navy, sooo a good time to delete that friend, yikes! 

Hi-hum, another day at work, another pregnant patient to add to my list. It's all a cruel cruel joke ain't it? My appt can't come fast enough.


----------



## uwa_amanda

I am feeling pretty down today too. Work has been pretty stressful too. One of my coworkers put in her notice so now I am going to have even more work dumped off on me. It seems like I'm always the one getting stuff dumped on my desk. It would be so nice if I could just take some time off away from here...

DH and I are probably going to the coast this weekend to get away. It also happens to be my fertile weekend (a least that's what my period tracker says...). Maybe that will be the trick to me finally getting my :bfp: fingers are definitely crossed for sure.


----------



## wannabemummyb

I need to vent:

There are so many pregnant women on the floor i work on, whilst one is my friend and i'm chuffed for her, i am getting so fed up of seeing the pregnant ladies every time i have to work past them to get to the loo/printer/ get out of the office!

Also, was watching tv last night and i swear the clear blue ad came on every break! The one about dating your pregnancy! Is the only time i'm ever going to see "pregnant" on a pg test on tv?

Also my well meaning friends keep jesting that i need to get drunk and do the deed because i will get pg! Ffs if only it was that easy.

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh bad week!


----------



## Junebug1983

blimey, its been a bad day for all then! 

I agree about adverts/tv! Talk about constantly remind us :( Ive been crying for what seems like the whole day today, my poor husband didnt know what hit him!


----------



## wannabemummyb

Junebug1983 said:


> blimey, its been a bad day for all then!
> 
> I agree about adverts/tv! Talk about constantly remind us :( Ive been crying for what seems like the whole day today, my poor husband didnt know what hit him!

I just burst into tears on df! I am not much of a crier either, so he freaked a bit.

Hope you feel better soon hun x


----------



## Melloout

Hi, I'm new. I just registered for this site, although I end up here often as my TTC related googles point me to one of you ladies' forum responses. 

I thought this was the best place to let out my vent:

TTC since 09. PCOS, high BMI, 2 mc.

I got pregnant this summer and mc at 6 weeks. My coworker announced in the fall that she was 13 weeks. I did the math and we were pregnant at the same time. In fact, she is due within days of when I would have been. This seems reasonable until one realizes she had her tubes tied 8 years prior and has a daughter on her way to college! Total accident, oops. Miracle, in fact. I've gone through all of the milestones in real time, with her pregnant and not me. 

I'm on my 2nd round of Clomid, 100 mg. Haven't O'd yet, but I'm charting BBT and using OPK strips. Plan on using preseed when the time comes as I don't make very much ewcm.

So, that's the long and short of it. I'm not mad, just really really frustrated. Thought this was the right place to vent. Pleased to meet you :)


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## wonderstars

Welcome Melloout! I love that username! :wave:

start rant/

Man alive, my cycles are just f'd since that HSG. First period after, 1 week of heavy spotting and two super heavy days with clots. Second cycle, same thing and 3 days of spotting after. Normally I'm spotting 3-4 days, lightly, 3 days of mediumish flow and that's it.

Could it be the stress is finally getting to me? All I do is think TTC. I go to bed thinking TTC and now I am completely sleep deprived. I'm having headaches, shoulders are insanely tense and I want to just cry. 

Life is just unfair. :cry:

/end rant+pity party


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## Lawyer chick

Hi wonder stars and fellow Canadian. I just had my hsg a week ago so no cycle yet but am expecting it remotely soon. I'm sorry you are having bleeding issues. but I see from your signature that you see fs this month


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## wonderstars

I wish I was seeing a FS this month. I'm seeing my Gynecologist and I'm requesting a referral. He's suggested clomid after trying 1-2 cycles after the HSG so I'm going to do 2 cycles of that while I wait for the referral to go through.

Hope your HSG cycle stays normal.

(I also figured out that the tense shoulders are probably from Dance Central on Xbox Kinect, oy vay, lol).


----------



## Lawyer chick

I'm sorry :hug: I misread. I'm glad you have a proactive gyn mine wasn't willing to do anything but blood tests. I asked for a lap when they did my cone biospy of cervix so I didn't have 2 surgeries but nope. I'm looking at a lap next despite just having had surgery in October with some initial crappy after effects. Not so sure I'll take h this time. Lol he went last time but I think I freaked him out lol


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## cooch

Melloout- that's awful. Its that kind of story that makes me sick, just as I am with the drug addicts and alcoholics!!


----------



## BearsMummy

May I join in??

Yesterday was such an awful day. I didn't stop crying all afternoon and all night, and now I have a red, puffy swollen face and a banging headache. So, my rant, and its a long one.......

My SIL who I am very close to, was a LTTCer, it took 10 years and 2MC and countless clomid cycles until she had my beautiful nephew, who turned 2 in November. She had mentioned that they were going to start trying for #2. But she rang me the day before christmas saying she was leaving my brother because she can't cope with LO and my brother is no help, and neither of them can cope!!! So I thought the TTC plans were off??!! You just wouldn't, would you?? Anyway, he bought her a lovely expensive ring for xmas, so their marriage was suddenly A-OK!!

Now she knows everything I am going through, because she has been there, thats one person IRL that understands my hellish life with TTC............ so you would think!!

She had been trying to get my attention on FB, just writing random comments on my pics and stuff, asking me if Im OK, which was weird seeing as they were joke pictures. Anyway I didn't get round to replying.

So then my brother text me yesterday morning, asking if I'm still alive, because they had'nt heard from me, I said yeah I'm fine etcetc, and he said 'SIL has been trying to get hold of you today' I said I hadn't receieved a call or text, so i would text her.

Now, I am going to post the exact cnversation between me and her:

ME: ** Said you text, but I haven't recieved anything. Sorry, are you ok?
SIL: Fine thank you just asking if charlie had a nice birthday
ME: Yeah he did thanks> We are booking a sun holiday for 16th July, do you want to come?
SIL: I can't mate pls dont tell anyone I've just found out I'm pregnant

:saywhat: Just fucking speechless, absolutely fucking speechless!!!!!

She obviously only got in touch to tell me her fucking fantastic bit of information!! 

Who the hell, cannot go on a holiday 2 hours car ride away because they are 6 months pregnant??!!

If you want to 'drop' it into conversation, make that conversation relevant!!

I'd have just prefered a text saying 'karen, I have something I need to tell you'..... Don't get in touvh with me and chat bullshit your not even interested in, just so you can drop that bombshell!!

They visit me every weekend, why not come and tell me?? She obviously doesn't have a problem with hurting my feelings!!

Maybe I'm over reacting slightly, but I'm just so pissed off at her tactlessness and the fact she has no fucking respect for what I'm going thorugh, even though she's been there herself.

I have now wiped these idiots from my life. I just do not need disrespectful wankers in my life!!

Its not even that she's pregnant, I would be over the moon for them, if they had taken the time to respect my feelings.


RANT OVER


----------



## StorkStalker

Hi Melloout :hugs: it sucks to have to go through another one´s preg milestones when it would´ve been your time.. I´ve been there.. was there 3 yrs ago.. :hugs:
Wonderstars :hugs: I hope by now your cycle goes back to normal ASAP.. 
Cooch: I agree with you it drives me nuts to hear stories of surprise/accident pgs when they are alcohol or drug users :dohh:, and/or had already decided to stop growing their families and then go back to it with all the luck in the world.. It´s unfair!!
BearsMommy, agghh your SIL made me :growlmad:.. I just don´t get how LTTCs seem to go into oblivion when they are pg or get pg easily the 2nd time around.. Why? :shrug: They know how hard it is for us!! It´s great that you are putting your feelings first, and taking a break from them.. I´m learning to distance myself from people who are just insensitive about what we´re going through.. :hugs:


----------



## BearsMummy

I am sooooo sorry about my use of profanities in my post!! :blush:

I keep thinking that maybe that i'm over reacting just a touch, but the more I think about it, the more upset I get!

Thank you for your lovely comment and support!! :kiss:


----------



## Lisa84

I don't think you are over reacting hun especially as this is someone who is supposed to know what you are going through. Maybe speak to her and tell her you felt she was a little insensitive considering she is aware of your struggles. 

Stork is right by saying that some LTTCers seem to forget that others are still going through it as soon as they fall pg. I mean even some ladies on here are the same. I have stalked ladies who seem to be completely oblivious to the LTTCers when they get pg and just head straight off to first tri and forget that we still need the support we gave them for sooo long! 

(i think i started my own little rant there lol) xxx


----------



## Chatnoir

Hi ladies!
first post on this thread..so glad i found it! I was starting to think I was being irrational!
Been TTC for 13 months now and i am tired of seeing people announce there pregnant and have their babies while we still struggle to even conceive! 
Yesterday at my desk at work, my phone flashed up with a message and straight away I could see a ultrasound scan picture.... really struggled not to cry at my desk! No one at work knows we are trying.
I HATE TTC!!! with a passion! 
Also had my 6 monthly smear test last week with some JUNIOR MALE Dr looking at my Cervix!!! Wonderful...not at all humilatting!
Thankfully my pizza and cheesecake have just been delivered!!


----------



## BearsMummy

OK, I have a new rant!!

F%&*^%$£& ******* shitty IC's!!

Got what I thought was my bfp yesterday, it wasn't, it was an evap. BFN this morning.

B****CKS!!


----------



## cooch

BearsMummy said:


> I am sooooo sorry about my use of profanities in my post!! :blush:
> 
> I keep thinking that maybe that i'm over reacting just a touch, but the more I think about it, the more upset I get!
> 
> Thank you for your lovely comment and support!! :kiss:

I never even noticed the profanities, ha ha ha xx


----------



## Rona

Hi,

I have been away from the board for few months. Just trying to figure things out. I've been trying very long and hopefully will have my first IVF soon.

Normally I am pretty easy going person, I can take pressure and handle with grace and calm. But last week I think I broke down. I never feel that way. It hurt so much and I am still trying to think that I over react.

Here the story, I will be 40 in March. My best friend also trying, she just married about 1.5 years and 32 years old. She sounds like she will be having trouble getting pregnant, I said that's not necessarily because she not even trying hard enough. Don't plan her BD, no OPK...so I assumed that's not a serious trying, just planning to have family.

So she asked me to recommend my Obygyn and fertility Dr. and she suppose to have her first appt on Tuesday last week, she kept asking all the tips and stuff to get pregnant, and on Monday afternoon, she asked me if my Obgyn do delivery also, I said yes. But not until I go on and on about how to start planning seriously, she said "By the way, I tested yesterday and got positive". So rather than have her appt for fertility, she went for check up and delivery appt. I was so upset and broke down, but I still be nice to her, replying her email and such. She asked me for lunch and I agreed, but all the times she kept touching her belly and said, owh I got cramp, is that normal? And entire time we talked, all she talked about about her pregnancy. I hope she feel my pain and not to talk too much about it. I don't blame her to be so excited, and I am one of her closest friend, but I hope she will be more sensitive. When I got home, I cried and I got sick this week, I think due to stress. And again today she FB me asking is it normal not to have morning sickness? Again, I feel she not sensitive enough about it, but she is my friend. 

But may be I just should be happy for her, even in my heart I always wonder why it's not me.

Sorry for the long ranting.


----------



## Lisa84

If she is aware of your situation then she is definately being insensitive :hugs: And if you dont have any children then why ask those sorts of questions when u wouldnt know!

My friend got pg just before i went for my lap and dye and the week of my operation was askin me whether symptoms were normal. I couldnt handle it so ended up givin her a mouthful as she was also aware of my situation and is the type of person that would ask those questions just to gloat xx


----------



## CHILLbilly

Oooh to the girls on here whose friends are asking about preg symptoms..I would SCREAM at them..I don't know, i've never been pregnant!!!!!!

fuck

that would drive me insane....

BearsMummy- swear away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
your SIL is a douche...hahaha 
so many unstable relationships...or none at all and they get preg right away!!!!!
I'm on clomid as well and have been a crazy bitch last few weeks.......and very depressed when I hear about someone having a baby, or announcing pregnant. I can usually handle it....... but not this cycle...

so glad there's a thread we can just lay it all out .......... ahhh feels good!!!


----------



## Lisa84

Awww hun i was thesame on Clomid i turned into an emotional wreck xxx


----------



## wonderstars

~ Holy crap Rona, I would be livid if my friend pulled that on me at a lunch.......wait wait, I actually cried and ran out of the restaurant when a friend did that to me.

Women are such bitches. :wacko:

~ Chatnoir, those u/s pics are the worst, ugh.

~ Okay ladies, we need to make sure we don't become these women when we're pregnant. We need to develop strategies to prevent this. Make up lots of stickies to put around the house once we're at our goal (i.e. knocked up).

"Don't be a bitch"
"No ultrasounds bitch"
"Posting your pregnancy on Facebook is not allowed"
"No rubbing your belly in public!"


----------



## Lisa84

I dont know whether im on my own with this and its definately not just coz we are strugglin coz i didnt like it before TTC but i HATE HATE HATE ultrasound pics on fb. It actually makes me cringe seein a news feed full of US pics. 

I mean its a picture of your unborn child. Surely there are some things in life that should be sacred and just for yourself, close friends and family and im thinking a pic showing the life you are growing has to be at the top of the list. These pics arent for people who u went to school with 20 years ago that u are only friends wi on FB or the cousin of a distant friend u once saw at a party!! 

Sorry bout that rant but its one of my mahooosive pet hates!! xx


----------



## CHILLbilly

I think that "when" I get pregnant..I will post a status about it...BUT will also say ..after 4 long hard years TTC, 3MC's, alot of tears......ect..I want ppl to know my story.....and realize pregnancy isn;t that easy and some ppl do have to work at it....
It'll be hard to not post pics...but I won't.... closed family album only......


----------



## StorkStalker

Ok... AF is here again!! For two days now... Bringing both physical, and emotional pain... And that was also the 3yr mark of my MC... So, I was talking to a friend on the phone and she was complaining about her kids, husband who doesn´t help around too much, etc, and then she suddenly has the need to tell me: Well, think about it, this way if you ever get divorced you don´t have to fight for the kids... I was like what?? I told her, my marriage is ok thankyou, and she replied I was just trying to be positive!! **what??*** Awkward silence, and then we hang up.. FML


----------



## SunUp

Wow- that is so RUDE!!!!!!!! Trying to be positive? NOT!!!!!!!!


----------



## phoenixrose

Storkstalker: some people definitely need more filters. But you know what I got out of that...that she has actually contemplated divorse but has thought "what about the kids?" so I would pity her and be thankful I have such a great marriage.


----------



## chrome

If it was a little earlier, I would be having one huge rant right about now, but I darn't start crying again, its taken me 5 hours to stop...

But I would like to thank every one of you ladies, cos I have laughed more reading this thread than I have in a long time. Thank you

:hugs: to those who live with inconsiderate twats around them

:dust: to all


----------



## Lisa84

Chrome i absolutely love your avatar where did u get that?? xx


----------



## donssweetpea

I don't want to be a biddy but been trying to conceive for over 6 years now. A friend of mine just decided to try and got pregnant first month!!!! Really????? Seriously????? I am so very happy for her but it came so easy. It doesn't seem fair. I just want it to be my turn. Just finished another round of Clomid and am in my TWW. Even though I could be pregnant I'm still just so mad it came so easy for her. She keeps trying to give me pointers and hasn't a clue or even how this feels for me. I feel like such a bad friend cause of my selfish feelings, it is not reflective of my normal personality at all, but I'm at my wits end!! Thanks for the listening to rant. I feel a little better. Hopefully you ladies understand my frustration and don't think I'm being mean. :)


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## donssweetpea

BTW It is refreshing to read on here that I'm not the only one who feels a bit jealous of my friends. I hate that we are all going through this, but it is nice to get on here and be able to speak freely with people who understand the deep torture that TTC can unleash on a person. Thanks for understanding ladies :) and I wish everyone luck in their TTC journey.


----------



## aliss

My vent for today, someone complaining that I should have another baby soon, well fuck... we've tried for 2 years and the last one died... bug off.

And it's winter, and I've been wearing winter clothes, and I still haven't told the neighbours that we lost the last one, I'm supposed to be 6 months right now, ugh, I just don't have the balls to say it until they realize it when I'm not wearing a winter coat


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## Armywife84

Well I'm back...:blush:

Few Rants in no particular order...

1. Stupid twat who has a 1yr old is 17 weeks along with her second in the 2 years I've been in LTTC hell. 

2. My mother's next door neighbor is pregnant with #1 and they just got married late last summer. To top it off her sister is also pregnant with their second. Fecking fertile family!! So when I move home this summer and my DH deploys, I will have to see that heavily pregnant cow. :growlmad:

3. Or I can shack up with my father who's neighbor is also pregnant but thankfully she's almost due.

4. The same neighbor who is formerly a LTTC (whom I had respect for up until a few days ago) told my mother she was disappointed that she's expecting a boy, because she wanted a girl. :saywhat: Be happy and thankful it finally happened and take what you can get!!!! :growlmad::growlmad:

5. After my hysto and lap the doctor told me I had endo. 2 strikes against us. Just fecking lovely. :cry::cry:


----------



## wonderstars

I want to say welcome back but it always seems so wrong for us lttc'ers. Welcome back though. :)

So sorry about the endo. :( did they manage to clear some during the lap? Did you even have any signs of endo? One positive is that they did discover it and maybe come up with some strategies.

:hugs:


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## wannabebe

Hi, this is my first post here. I have been TTC for one year exactly and will be turning 30 in about a month. I've lately been having some difficulty with this and I can't believe I found this thread! I know many girls on this part of the forum have been trying more many more years than me, but I have a feeling that its going to be a long road ahead, as my husband has had 2 SAs, one 2.3 mil/ml and #2 9.8mil/ml. And my cycle ranges from 35-50 days. Anyway, I've been having dreams at night of getting a BFP and being ECSTATIC then waking up and basically feeling like I had a MC from going from such a high to realizing it's not real. But last night takes the cake. The past few days, I've had sore boobs and have been due for AF for several days, so I had that stupid part of my brain whispering "you might be pregnant!" So last night, I had a dream that I was pg and I gave birth at home. I was holding my baby on my chest and breast feeding it. I even had someone go get a shoelace and scissors to cut the cord. I then woke up and realized the reason I had the feeling of being in labor was that I had horrible period cramps. Woke up, took 800mg motrin, put a tampon in and almost cried. FML.


----------



## wannabeprego

Armywife84 said:


> Well I'm back...:blush:
> 
> Few Rants in no particular order...
> 
> 1. Stupid twat who has a 1yr old is 17 weeks along with her second in the 2 years I've been in LTTC hell.
> 
> 2. My mother's next door neighbor is pregnant with #1 and they just got married late last summer. To top it off her sister is also pregnant with their second. Fecking fertile family!! So when I move home this summer and my DH deploys, I will have to see that heavily pregnant cow. :growlmad:
> 
> 3. Or I can shack up with my father who's neighbor is also pregnant but thankfully she's almost due.
> 
> 4. The same neighbor who is formerly a LTTC (whom I had respect for up until a few days ago) told my mother she was disappointed that she's expecting a boy, because she wanted a girl. :saywhat: Be happy and thankful it finally happened and take what you can get!!!! :growlmad::growlmad:
> 
> 5. After my hysto and lap the doctor told me I had endo. 2 strikes against us. Just fecking lovely. :cry::cry:

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

https://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh126/izzybee22/bearlog.gif


----------



## Armywife84

wonderstars said:


> I want to say welcome back but it always seems so wrong for us lttc'ers. Welcome back though. :)
> 
> So sorry about the endo. :( did they manage to clear some during the lap? Did you even have any signs of endo? One positive is that they did discover it and maybe come up with some strategies.
> 
> :hugs:

Thanks, I'm glad to be back! 

No signs of endo at all. Only one period a month, never going over my 5 days and just the usual cramps for the first 2 days. :shrug:

They burned off the adhesions they found during the hyst. My tubes weren't blocked, so they're unsure if the endo is contributing to IF. Apparently, you can have endo and it not be the cause of IF..however in the 1-2 stages I'm sure. I'll know more on my post op on Wed. We do have a good chance of conceiving this month since they cleared off my bits, but with his sperm quality and quantity I'm not very hopeful. :nope:


----------



## wonderstars

wannabebe said:


> Hi, this is my first post here. I have been TTC for one year exactly and will be turning 30 in about a month. I've lately been having some difficulty with this and I can't believe I found this thread! I know many girls on this part of the forum have been trying more many more years than me, but I have a feeling that its going to be a long road ahead, as my husband has had 2 SAs, one 2.3 mil/ml and #2 9.8mil/ml. And my cycle ranges from 35-50 days. Anyway, I've been having dreams at night of getting a BFP and being ECSTATIC then waking up and basically feeling like I had a MC from going from such a high to realizing it's not real. But last night takes the cake. The past few days, I've had sore boobs and have been due for AF for several days, so I had that stupid part of my brain whispering "you might be pregnant!" So last night, I had a dream that I was pg and I gave birth at home. I was holding my baby on my chest and breast feeding it. I even had someone go get a shoelace and scissors to cut the cord. I then woke up and realized the reason I had the feeling of being in labor was that I had horrible period cramps. Woke up, took 800mg motrin, put a tampon in and almost cried. FML.

:hugs:

You'd think after trying for so long we'd have given up on that nagging little hope but damn, it's always friggin' there! Have you seen a specialist or been referred? My biggest regret is not asking for a fertility referral right away while my Gynecologist was doing testing.


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## chrome

Lisa84 said:


> Chrome i absolutely love your avatar where did u get that?? xx

I found it on the net, they have one in white too... :thumbup:


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## NavyWife84

wannabebe said:


> Hi, this is my first post here. I have been TTC for one year exactly and will be turning 30 in about a month. I've lately been having some difficulty with this and I can't believe I found this thread! I know many girls on this part of the forum have been trying more many more years than me, but I have a feeling that its going to be a long road ahead, as my husband has had 2 SAs, one 2.3 mil/ml and #2 9.8mil/ml. And my cycle ranges from 35-50 days. Anyway, I've been having dreams at night of getting a BFP and being ECSTATIC then waking up and basically feeling like I had a MC from going from such a high to realizing it's not real. But last night takes the cake. The past few days, I've had sore boobs and have been due for AF for several days, so I had that stupid part of my brain whispering "you might be pregnant!" So last night, I had a dream that I was pg and I gave birth at home. I was holding my baby on my chest and breast feeding it. I even had someone go get a shoelace and scissors to cut the cord. I then woke up and realized the reason I had the feeling of being in labor was that I had horrible period cramps. Woke up, took 800mg motrin, put a tampon in and almost cried. FML.

How awful to have these dreams. I have a lot of pregnancy dreams too, but mine always end in tradgedy, like my baby is stillborn at 8 months, or I get in a car accident and they have to take the baby to save my life, etc. Last night it was malpractice...I had twins, one was stillborn and the doctor did something wrong and basically killed the other one. They are so horrible. Throughout the whole dream DH and I are so happy and I have a wonderful pregnancy, and then BAM...the baby doesn't survive. It is just awful! I know when it does finally happen for me, I am going to be so paranoid because I have had so many horrible dreams. I am going to have to try so hard to just enjoy my pregnancy and not think the worst.


----------



## wannabebe

Navy wife- omg, I thought mine was bad. I agree with you- if I ever get pg, I think I will have pregnancy nightmares for 9 months. It sucks- there's nothing you can do to not have these dreams and they're so real!


----------



## Armywife84

I had a miscarriage nightmare the other night! What is with us and these nightmares? Argh, LTTC is ruining my hopes of ever becoming a mother and if I get pregnant living in constant fear. :cry:

My Rant: 

So my tactless SIL (the one with the newborn) just sent a fecking birth announcement to my home. :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad: I know the child exists, I don't need to be reminded several fecking times, or have a million pictures. Maybe if she would've sent an apology letter along with it regarding the argument we had last year then I would probably be less pissed. 

Is it bad that the birthing announcement is going to make it's way to the trash later?


----------



## wonderstars

Umm...that birth announcement would be in the trash NOW, not later, lol. Wowza, she is an inconsiderate bitch, isn't she. She one ups herself every time I read about her!

I don't remember having any nightmares but who knows, maybe that's why I wake up exhausted and cranky. 

**
I would like to vent about an 8month wait to see a fertility specialist AND that the other clinic in the province won't accept referrals from my city anymore due to their wait list
**

Next rant, according to my gynecologist, we are now officially "unexplained". Both tubes are open, I'm ovulating, DH's count is high. He said it's only been two cycles since my selective HSG and doesn't think I should think about direct to IVF.

Giving Clomid 3 tries while I wait for the referral. Ugh.


----------



## Armywife84

Oh they'll make their way in the garbage bin by tomorrow when DH is at work. Not having them lying around in a drawer where I can see them again. This is so bad, but it kind of makes me feel better that their new baby isn't much to, "ooo" and "aah" over. 

I got mad at DH and told him to tell her not to send any more pictures of the new baby as it's inappropriate given our circumstances. I'd tell her off myself but I deleted her number and neither of us have FB. Argh, I just want to strangle her. 

You would think with all these fertility wait lists, they'd lower cost of treatments and open up more fecking clinics!!


----------



## Anne24

Hi Can I join? I am 31 and have been TTC for 18months now.Last Monday I was diagnosed with both tubes blocked:cry: I have an appointment with my FS on the 25th of Feb. IVF is probably my best option now:nope:


----------



## Armywife84

Hi Anne and welcome! 

Oh no, so sorry to hear that. Did they not offer surgery to unblock your tubes? If your insurance will cover it, then I'd have that done. However, if not then I'd start saving for IVF.


----------



## BearsMummy

Can I chime in again, with more news about my fecking SIL.

So, my brother text me and asked if I was going to be in Saturday, he was coming round. (SIL normally works every weekend) So I thought, great, I can talk to him about why I'm pissed off etc etc.

So he turns up here Saturday, let himself in (thats what we do) and in she struts behind him, rubbing her belly with a big grin on her face. (may I point out she doesnt actually know how far gone she is, but reckons about 9 weeks.......NO POINT ON RUBBING HER BELLY!!!) GRRRRR!! I was shaking with anger and had to go into my bedroom to calm down. Then she walks in behind me *still rubbing her belly) So I slapped a smile on my face, gritted my teeth and said congratulations.

Well, that was all th excuse she needed to talk about HER and HER PREGNANCY ALL FUCKING DAY!!! She even admitted she wasn't over the moon about being pregnant and just was really unappreciative about what she had. I can't believe she was saying these things to ME, especially as she has been through LLLTC hell.

She feigned interest in what was happeneing with me at the FS, I got one sentence out, she interuppted me, shouted over the top of me and managed to change the conversation back to herself and her being pregnant.

When i did manage to get a word in edgeways, I explained that we will be referred to OFU in April, she said 'is it because your OH doesn't have children?' I replied yes, but he has got me pregnant before, but I had a MMC (which she knows about because we were very close then) and she asked me 'are you sure it was OH's baby?' :saywhat: I was absolutely speechless, I really can't believe she said that to me! How dare she make out I'm some sort of cheating slag who wouldn't know who had got me pregnant!!

Then she kept going on and on and on and on and on about having to go into town and get a water filter jug 'because normal tap water makes her morning sickness bad'.......................FUCK OFF INTO TOWN THEN!!! £ hours later and lots of moaning about being pregnant and the morning sickness, she finally went and got her precious water filter.

Here's the best one......... this one really got me riled.

Her 2 year old son, was playing football (kick the ball) with my 12 year old son, and she shouted at them 'would you stop kicking the ball, its making my morning sickness bad'

OMG!! OMG!! OMG!!

Then I rang my mum for just a bit of moral support, and while I was on the phone to my mum, she kept interuptting my phone call again, asking when should she book in wih the midwife, how does she book in with the midwife and when should she have her scan! Luckily my mum heard everything, so my family know I am not exaggerating! But she had a baby 2 Years ago, I had mine 12 years ago, out of thetwo of us, who is going to know the answers to those questions??????!!!!! JUST SHOWING OFF!!

She is so lucky she is pregnant, I don't know how I managed to keep my cool, keep my mouth shut and not plant my fist in her face!!

I had 2 friends around later on in the day and OH had come home from work, and they all said at seperate times, that she was just finding excuses in every conversation to mention being pregnant, they felt she was showing off and trying to rub my face in it.

RANT OVER


----------



## phoenixrose

Bearsmummy: Wow, I don't even know where to begin with that one?! How awful! You are a saint for keeping your cool. I would not have been so nice. I would have at least been super sarcastic at every opportunity. So sorry you had to go through that!


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## Lisa84

Jeez i really don't know how you kept your cool i would have just exploded. It's good that others have witnessed her blatant attempts to rub your nose in it so then if you ever did lose your cool you would have the backing of others :hugs: xxx


----------



## donssweetpea

wow bearsmum...that is just awful. I applaud you for keeping your cool. I've been trying for 6 years now for #1. It's all just heart wrenching and it's sad that some people just don't get what we are going through. I feel like the carpet was swept out from under me with my friends pregnancy. I wish you the best of luck bearsmum and you get your BFP soon. Screw your SIL and if you wind up telling her off I don't think anyone would say you were in the wrong!!!


----------



## wannabemummyb

3 f'ing pregnancy announcements on facebook tonight! 3!!!!!!! Ffs!

I actually just want to curl into a ball and cry! 3!!! There are pg women appearing at work every day, getting bigger and bigger! I seem to have a pg women radar, i keep spotting them and two weeks later a big announcement! 

To make matters worse a friend came back from maternity leave, which just reminds me if i'd not had a mc then i would have returned end of last month / beginning of this! And our bubba would have been one this month!

Had e-f'ing-nough!


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## Armywife84

BearsMummy said:


> Can I chime in again, with more news about my fecking SIL.
> 
> So, my brother text me and asked if I was going to be in Saturday, he was coming round. (SIL normally works every weekend) So I thought, great, I can talk to him about why I'm pissed off etc etc.
> 
> So he turns up here Saturday, let himself in (thats what we do) and in she struts behind him, rubbing her belly with a big grin on her face. (may I point out she doesnt actually know how far gone she is, but reckons about 9 weeks.......NO POINT ON RUBBING HER BELLY!!!) GRRRRR!! I was shaking with anger and had to go into my bedroom to calm down. Then she walks in behind me *still rubbing her belly) So I slapped a smile on my face, gritted my teeth and said congratulations.
> 
> Well, that was all th excuse she needed to talk about HER and HER PREGNANCY ALL FUCKING DAY!!! She even admitted she wasn't over the moon about being pregnant and just was really unappreciative about what she had. I can't believe she was saying these things to ME, especially as she has been through LLLTC hell.
> 
> She feigned interest in what was happeneing with me at the FS, I got one sentence out, she interuppted me, shouted over the top of me and managed to change the conversation back to herself and her being pregnant.
> 
> When i did manage to get a word in edgeways, I explained that we will be referred to OFU in April, she said 'is it because your OH doesn't have children?' I replied yes, but he has got me pregnant before, but I had a MMC (which she knows about because we were very close then) and she asked me 'are you sure it was OH's baby?' :saywhat: I was absolutely speechless, I really can't believe she said that to me! How dare she make out I'm some sort of cheating slag who wouldn't know who had got me pregnant!!
> 
> Then she kept going on and on and on and on and on about having to go into town and get a water filter jug 'because normal tap water makes her morning sickness bad'.......................FUCK OFF INTO TOWN THEN!!! £ hours later and lots of moaning about being pregnant and the morning sickness, she finally went and got her precious water filter.
> 
> Here's the best one......... this one really got me riled.
> 
> Her 2 year old son, was playing football (kick the ball) with my 12 year old son, and she shouted at them 'would you stop kicking the ball, its making my morning sickness bad'
> 
> OMG!! OMG!! OMG!!
> 
> Then I rang my mum for just a bit of moral support, and while I was on the phone to my mum, she kept interuptting my phone call again, asking when should she book in wih the midwife, how does she book in with the midwife and when should she have her scan! Luckily my mum heard everything, so my family know I am not exaggerating! But she had a baby 2 Years ago, I had mine 12 years ago, out of thetwo of us, who is going to know the answers to those questions??????!!!!! JUST SHOWING OFF!!
> 
> She is so lucky she is pregnant, I don't know how I managed to keep my cool, keep my mouth shut and not plant my fist in her face!!
> 
> I had 2 friends around later on in the day and OH had come home from work, and they all said at seperate times, that she was just finding excuses in every conversation to mention being pregnant, they felt she was showing off and trying to rub my face in it.
> 
> RANT OVER

The nerve!!! I love how she was a former LTTCer who's seems to have magically forgotten where she started. Bitch! 

Your SIL and my SIL can FECK OFF! 

RANT: 

Well the doctor told me my endo wasn't bad...one little spot and a few adhesions. It could or couldn't be contributing to our IF. He recommended going on a shot that will slow down my endo growth and improve my IF. Which sucks because I'll have to be on BCP as well, so no trying there. However, he says it's been proven to help fertility. :shrug: So I guess I'll try that then a couple of IUIs. :wacko: 

Having 2 strikes against you in this IF Hell and being married to the military blows. :cry:


----------



## uwa_amanda

Bearsmummy, I just read your post to my DH and he was as shocked as I was. He said that if it would have been us, at the point where your SIL asked if your DH was the father, both the brother and SIL would be escorted out. That was very terrible that she would even say something that stupid. Some people just beat all I've ever seen...I would have probably cussed her out and kicked her out at the same time. I would have told her that she would be no longer welcome in my house after that comment she made.

Hopefully, it'll get better for you and you will get your bfp. :hugs:


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## Armywife84

Eh, one more. 

It's not even baby related..:dohh: I ordered this lovely breadbox on Feb 6th from Amazon and it has yet to ship! Every time I check to see the dates of when it will ship, they keep on extending the dates. :growlmad: so I wrote a nasty email telling them my bin better ship by next Monday or I'm canceling my order and getting a refund. They've already taken the money out of my account, of course! Pricks!


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## wonderstars

Don't mess with a woman LTTC. :haha:

Wow, I don't even know what to say BearsMummy. :wacko:


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## BearsMummy

Thanks Ladies.

I don't know how I managed to keep my mouth shut. I think it was shock! I am normally the sort of person who smashes their face in first, then ask questions later!

I think I just don't want to upset her, she has had 2 MC's in the past, and I wouldn't want to give her any excuse to blame me, should anything happen.

But I am going to put my foot down now. SHE is not welcome here. I think I need someone here with me to be that strong. I don't know why, I'm just not up for confrontation! (if you knew me, you would be confused by that! I have always been an argumentative bitch, who will find any excuse to have a row!!)

Oh Amazon, dooooooooo hurry up with the bread box! Don't you realise us LTTTCers, spend our whole lives bloody waiting! Don't you start!!


----------



## wonderstars

Need to vent as I'm a bit obsessive at the moment and it's putting me down.

My obgyn gave me three rounds of clomid which you think I'd be happy with, but his comments of "you're ovulating so it may not help" and "you may have internal tubal scarring that's causing the egg not to be picked up" is really starting to upset me. I've convinced myself, tonight, that I will need IVF.

It's really unfair that essential abdominal surgery is causing me issues and I can't get anything covered. Yet the guy sitting next to me on train is smoking packs of cigarettes and I will use my taxes to pay for his treatment. :cry:

Sorry, I'm have a selfish moment. :nope: it sucks working in the healthcare field and seeing how irresponsible people are but still have all the luck. I can't catch a break.


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## Armywife84

You're definitely not being selfish!

Don't listen to the prick. If he obviously didn't think it would do you any could, then he wouldn't have prescribed them. They're worth a go, just to mark them off the long list of things to try. 

Hell, LTTC makes me want to light one! I would've asked him for a cig. Maybe even some weed just to take the edge off. :rofl::rofl: then pass it off as medicinal!! 

Oh I need to stop, as I've gone mental. :haha:

Amazon emailed me back saying my bread bin is special ordered from Italy..apparently that's why it's taking forever. What I'm not understanding is why they don't have it lying around somewhere in an Amazon warehouse ready to ship!! I suppose it's my fault for preferring European manufactured items. :dohh:


----------



## Anne24

Armywife84 said:


> Hi Anne and welcome!
> 
> Oh no, so sorry to hear that. Did they not offer surgery to unblock your tubes? If your insurance will cover it, then I'd have that done. However, if not then I'd start saving for IVF.

Hi,

Well i have heard that there's a chance to unblock the tubes with lap and surgery and I am surely going to try the same. Waiting for my FS's suggestions. Really dont wanna go the IVF route:growlmad:


----------



## NavyWife84

Ugh...as I'm sitting in the waiting room on Wednesday to haave yet another hsg, I stupidly get on fb. A girl who just announced her pg posted, "is it bad that I already want this baby out of me so I can get my skinny bit** body back and I still have 28 weeks to go..." then another woman commented about being "fat" and another complained because she isn't showing at all. Being furious, I commented, "you should be happy for what you have. I would love to get fat if it meant I would have my miracle at the end of it." Then they posted that they were happy and I will have mine soon, blah blah blah. But then I felt bad about my post and explained that itbwas just an infertility moment as I was sitting in the waiting room, etc. Why the hell did I feel bad? Maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all, but I am so sick of hearing pregnant women complaining about stupid things like gaining weight, acne, big appetite, etc. What did they expect from pregnncy? And don't thry have the slightest clue how lucky they are? I really can't imagine complaining about ANYTHING when I am preggo. I want to enjoy and embrace all the "negatives" that come with it because I will finally have my miracle!


----------



## wonderstars

Armywife84 said:


> Amazon emailed me back saying my bread bin is special ordered from Italy..apparently that's why it's taking forever. What I'm not understanding is why they don't have it lying around somewhere in an Amazon warehouse ready to ship!! I suppose it's my fault for preferring European manufactured items. :dohh:

Wow, fancy! Maybe an Italian bread bin is worth the wait! ;)

That always get's on my nerves Navy! Ya kinda want to slap them when they say that...of course, I just delete them. :D


Well, my best friend is pregnant with #2.

That would be 4 babies for my friends since I started trying. I just can't handle this anymore.

:cry:


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## EmmyReece

:hi: can I vent too pretty pls? :blush:

I've had to go on a hiding spree on facebook today because I am so sick and tired of people moaning about their life. When in actual fact they don't seem to realise how bloody lucky they are in the first place :grr:


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## Armywife84

Anne- I don't blame you..I really don't want to either. It's my very last option. 

Navywife- Certainly don't feel bad for telling them that. These smug cows need to be told off!! 

Wonderstars- So sorry to hear that. It does suck having fertile friends, so I just decided to have none. Sad, I know.


----------



## velo

Hi - I'm new here but I need a place to vent :) I've been mostly hanging out in the TTC over 35 forum.

- AF arrived today with cramps with a vengeance even though I had a really good feeling about this month
- We don't tell many people we are trying and having problems but those we do some see fit to offer advice. Oh apparently if we only [put our legs up the wall, abstain X number of days before DTD...] we'll get pregnant. ARGH.
- All tests so far are good (SA good, I ovulate, HSG good). I wish we at least knew what the problem was
- Friends that post ultrasound pics on fb rather than mention it directly and when they are having baby #3 I think they are being greedy (would be happy with 1, thrilled with 2) Also that they seem to be able to get pg so easily despite unhealthy lifestyles (lotso drinking) where we live quite healthily (exercise, eat a healthy unprocessed vegetarian diet)..
- I didn't intentionally wait so late to have a baby - we've been trying since our wedding which was about 1.5 yrs into our relationship. My ex-bf (probably responsible for the waste of my prime time, by everything was always contigent on his business being successful) has just had his second child with his wife despite the fact his business still hasn't taken off. 
- Irritating posts in the over 35 forum, such as 41 year olds trying to have baby #5, its only their 4th month trying and they are upset about a BFN on day 9. (followed up with oh I tested too early - ya think? - and I am preggers) 
- Don't really need to hear from my mom details of my SIL's pg. (we have never met, as my brother ex-communicated me when he was a teenager, and still hasn't grown up apparently) She is my age and they must have gotten pg only a month or two after their wedding
- Asking other ppl my age how long it took them and finding out it was first try. ARGH.
- People who ask when we are having a baby
- Going to a coffee shop for lunch when upset and seeing the owner holding his baby up by the cash register, and asking what I'd like to order. How bout the baby? HAHA (no I didn't say that)

Since I feel bad about entirely negative posts I'll balance it with one good thing anyway - I have an appt to see a fertility specialist in 6 weeks despite the ob/gyn telling me it would be 3-6 months to get in.


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## Armywife84

Welcome, velo! 

Baby number 5?? I'd certainly be happy with whatever I can get! 

My RANT:

I forgot to tell this one. We were at HR Block (tax service chain done here in America) and we were filing our taxes. Although, we decided to opt out because our tax return was going to be much less than last year. Apparently the only way you're making money this year if is you're low income and have too many children's mouths to feed. :growlmad: 

Anyways, I was in the reception area and was waiting for my DH (he ran next door for something) and the chatty receptionist decided to ask about my taxes. I told her it as significantly lower than last year and she asked if we lost a child!!!! :saywhat: I sat there dumbfounded as that's not something you ask a couple. No bitch, we're dealing with IF. I don't have a fecking clue what it's like to be pregnant!! Thankfully, DH walked in before I could say something equally as rude. :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:


----------



## velo

Armywife84 said:


> Welcome, velo!
> 
> Baby number 5?? I'd certainly be happy with whatever I can get!
> 
> My RANT:
> 
> I forgot to tell this one. We were at HR Block (tax service chain done here in America) and we were filing our taxes. Although, we decided to opt out because our tax return was going to be much less than last year. Apparently the only way you're making money this year if is you're low income and have too many children's mouths to feed. :growlmad:
> 
> Anyways, I was in the reception area and was waiting for my DH (he ran next door for something) and the chatty receptionist decided to ask about my taxes. I told her it as significantly lower than last year and she asked if we lost a child!!!! :saywhat: I sat there dumbfounded as that's not something you ask a couple. No bitch, we're dealing with IF. I don't have a fecking clue what it's like to be pregnant!! Thankfully, DH walked in before I could say something equally as rude. :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:

I have also seen some complaints about IF having baby numbered in the double digits. I mean c'mon... 

Wow, that was a really rude thing for the receptionist to say. How would she have reacted if you said yes? I would have said something like yeah we had a toddler, and DH backed over her accidentally in the driveway and killed her, just to see her face!! Okay I am evil :)


----------



## wonderstars

DH walking in wouldn't have stopped me from being rude. Yikes. Even if it was someone who had lost a child, would they really want the entire world reminding them? I would have said a curt "I don't believe that's something you should be outright asking a couple, but let's move on."

Welcome velo! Yeah, sometimes it is an entirely negative day, it happens more often than not so we've been making ourselves at home on the thread.

There is an awesome one on positive thoughts that the ladies created, I need to start balancing it out!


----------



## cooch

Ah, I missed this, lol.

I agree with Velo about the whole 'I'm so upset I'm struggling to conceive my5/6th' etc. If it was that difficult before why are you putting yourself through it again?!! I know that's an unpopular and insulting thing to say to some, but COME ON!!

Wonderstars- where's the positivity thread?

We're at a very cynical point in our lives, and we deserve to be bitchy as its a way of releasing emotions!


----------



## cooch

h, I missed this, lol.

I agree with Velo about the whole 'I'm so upset I'm struggling to conceive my5/6th' etc. If it was that difficult before why are you putting yourself through it again?!! I know that's an unpopular and insulting thing to say to some, but COME ON!!

Wonderstars- where's the positivity thread?

We're at a very cynical point in our lives, and we deserve to be bitchy as its a way of releasing emotions!


----------



## Armywife84

velo said:


> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> Welcome, velo!
> 
> Baby number 5?? I'd certainly be happy with whatever I can get!
> 
> My RANT:
> 
> I forgot to tell this one. We were at HR Block (tax service chain done here in America) and we were filing our taxes. Although, we decided to opt out because our tax return was going to be much less than last year. Apparently the only way you're making money this year if is you're low income and have too many children's mouths to feed. :growlmad:
> 
> Anyways, I was in the reception area and was waiting for my DH (he ran next door for something) and the chatty receptionist decided to ask about my taxes. I told her it as significantly lower than last year and she asked if we lost a child!!!! :saywhat: I sat there dumbfounded as that's not something you ask a couple. No bitch, we're dealing with IF. I don't have a fecking clue what it's like to be pregnant!! Thankfully, DH walked in before I could say something equally as rude. :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:
> 
> I have also seen some complaints about IF having baby numbered in the double digits. I mean c'mon...
> 
> Wow, that was a really rude thing for the receptionist to say. How would she have reacted if you said yes? I would have said something like yeah we had a toddler, and DH backed over her accidentally in the driveway and killed her, just to see her face!! Okay I am evil :)Click to expand...

Goodness, no wonder you left that section! It would be hard for me to keep my snarky comments to myself. :devil:


----------



## uwa_amanda

Well...I am finding myself rolling my eyes at the TTC section. I know I shouldn't be bitter about it but it is really unnerving to see "Oh I have been trying for just three cycles and I am getting so bitter, impatient, etc.". I find that I have to back out of threads like that because I don't want to say something to hurt anybody's feelings since we've been trying for all these years and nothing has happened. Ugh...maybe it's my period this week making me pissy. :shrug:


----------



## Armywife84

uwa_amanda said:


> Well...I am finding myself rolling my eyes at the TTC section. I know I shouldn't be bitter about it but it is really unnerving to see "Oh I have been trying for just three cycles and I am getting so bitter, impatient, etc.". I find that I have to back out of threads like that because I don't want to say something to hurt anybody's feelings since we've been trying for all these years and nothing has happened. Ugh...maybe it's my period this week making me pissy. :shrug:

Eh, I feel that way towards TTCers any time throughout my cycle. :haha:

My Rant:

-I just can't stand women who are on benefits, DH has a low paying job, pregnant a second time, and whine about how they're going to scrape by. You would think instead of getting pregnant with a second child (can't really afford the first) they would find work to help provide for their family!!! :growlmad: 

Now there's a difference if you're single and left pregnant, (really can't stand those either) then I can see no other choice by getting on benefits.


----------



## wonderstars

OMG, have had the worst crampy, heavy periods since my tubal cannulation. Three cycles now, will the madness never end?! I miss my one regular tampon every 6-8 hours. :cry:

Soooo dry in Alberta, my skin is paying the price. My face looks like a chocolate chip cookie. :dohh:

My coworker has been trying for 2 cycles to get pregnant and I'm hearing complaints. :growlmad:


----------



## uwa_amanda

Two cycles...are you frickin kidding me? I hate it when I hear someone complain about either being pregnant or giving up after about three months. Ugh...


----------



## wonderstars

"We have sex soo much, its funny we haven't, we have no health problems".

Seriously hard not to roll my eyes and say shut the f* up.


----------



## Armywife84

Oh no your poor co-worker...HA! :growlmad: I certainly would not be able to refrain from telling her to STFU. 

My Rant(s):

-So I'm pretty certain I'm not pregnant after my lap, AF just needs to get hear already. I need to face the cynical music.

-I can't stop thinking about my ex friend, who took her 4 year old from the rest of her family to move up to Canada to chase her douchebag boyfriend and play house. This guy has no job, doesn't plan on going to school, and hasn't given her a ring.

What does she do? Since she's not getting a ring out of him (they've been together for about 4-5 years), she gets knocked up with his child trapping him. The twat took well advantage of his morals in marrying a woman that has his child. I lost all respect for her after I found that out thru another friend. A baby should NEVER be used as a means to get what you want. Bitch. :growlmad:

-Also, I'm sick and fecking tired of cleaning and packing. DH hasn't lifted a finger to help. In return, I'm not helping move this garb. :growlmad:

That's all, for today.


----------



## wonderstars

Ugh, I remember the same thing when we moved. I did all the packing. His excuse? I'm lifting all the heavy boxes once they're packed. Well crap, how do you think that stuff gets in those boxes.

Snow storm here. We've got about 15cm so far in the past 24 hours and it's still coming down. Oi vay.


----------



## Mrs.Stinski

Well a couple of days ago a friend of mine posted the "Oh my god, Im pregnant, but we're just friends and it was only one time" notification on FB and tonight I another one posted "oops, were pregnant again"....seriously....WTF!! Im surrounded!! One of my step-sisters just had her baby a few weeks ago, the other last week and my sis in law is preg too as well as 4 of my other friends. Its crazy sometimes and can be overwhelming. 3 years of trying, a couple of losses and its still not my time. Grrr!!


----------



## Armywife84

Mrs.Stinski said:


> Well a couple of days ago a friend of mine posted the "Oh my god, Im pregnant, but we're just friends and it was only one time" notification on FB and tonight I another one posted "oops, were pregnant again"....seriously....WTF!! Im surrounded!! One of my step-sisters just had her baby a few weeks ago, the other last week and my sis in law is preg too as well as 4 of my other friends. Its crazy sometimes and can be overwhelming. 3 years of trying, a couple of losses and its still not my time. Grrr!!

Pregnant women need to stop coming out of the woodworks. It's like pregnancy is some kind of common cold in which every woman seems to catch. :growlmad:


----------



## aintlifegrand

^The other day I had just left my counseling appt (I started seeing one to help with my feelings about LTTTC) I checked my facebook, and my ex-boyfriend and his wife announced their pregnancy! I could only laugh


----------



## cooch

Well.. DH and I were in the waiting room the other day waiting for my HSG with tubal cannulation and one of the nurses was pregnant. Its so bad now even DH is rolling his eyes. Also when I went in for my lap the anesthetist was pregnant, bitch, ha ha.


----------



## Armywife84

While out at dinner tonight, I saw a newborn and a 6 month old all at one table. I wasn't the only one wistfully watching the newborn, DH's work mate's wife kept ogling the baby as well. Then she started to talk about what she's going to name her future daughter. :nope: I can't have the conversation turn towards children otherwise I'll have word vomit and my IF struggles will come out. :cry: Thankfully our food arrived and the conversation ceased.

Then after dinner DH wanted ice cream, so we went to Wal-Mart and there was a pregnant woman every corner I turned. :growlmad:


----------



## BearsMummy

Here's me again with an update about SIL

I got (yet another) text message last monday just saying 'had scan, no heartbeat' but when I tried to question her, she really didn't make any sense and even said she went to a hospital that I know damn well doesn't have an EPU or maternity clinic! hmmmmmmm!! Strange!!

I have woken up in a really bad mood, I fell out with a friend yesterday over something really stupid, I don't know if its me upping my dose of clomid thats making me feel like this, but I am really really pissed off today.:cry::cry::cry::cry:

I think I might go back to bed and sleep all day.


----------



## phoenixrose

BearsMummy said:


> Here's me again with an update about SIL
> 
> I got (yet another) text message last monday just saying 'had scan, no heartbeat' but when I tried to question her, she really didn't make any sense and even said she went to a hospital that I know damn well doesn't have an EPU or maternity clinic! hmmmmmmm!! Strange!!
> 
> I have woken up in a really bad mood, I fell out with a friend yesterday over something really stupid, I don't know if its me upping my dose of clomid thats making me feel like this, but I am really really pissed off today.:cry::cry::cry::cry:
> 
> I think I might go back to bed and sleep all day.

That's horrible! What was the 'stupid' thing? I'm sure it wasn't that stupid! Maybe it just feels that way because she was a good friend.


----------



## Armywife84

BearsMummy said:


> Here's me again with an update about SIL
> 
> I got (yet another) text message last monday just saying 'had scan, no heartbeat' but when I tried to question her, she really didn't make any sense and even said she went to a hospital that I know damn well doesn't have an EPU or maternity clinic! hmmmmmmm!! Strange!!
> 
> I have woken up in a really bad mood, I fell out with a friend yesterday over something really stupid, I don't know if its me upping my dose of clomid thats making me feel like this, but I am really really pissed off today.:cry::cry::cry::cry:
> 
> I think I might go back to bed and sleep all day.

Your SIL is just dodgy...it may be a ploy to get attention on her. :shrug:

Don't be so hard on yourself, it's most likely the Clomid. I hear women go crazy while on it. :hugs:

My (only) Rant:

Yesterday, I had a small melt down about our struggles. I felt bloated, bad acne from AF coming, and just down right ugly...on top of that I'm upset that I've failed to get pregnant after my lap. The naive part of me was hoping it would miraculously happen. :cry:


----------



## cooch

BearsMummy said:


> Here's me again with an update about SIL
> 
> I got (yet another) text message last monday just saying 'had scan, no heartbeat' but when I tried to question her, she really didn't make any sense and even said she went to a hospital that I know damn well doesn't have an EPU or maternity clinic! hmmmmmmm!! Strange!!
> 
> I have woken up in a really bad mood, I fell out with a friend yesterday over something really stupid, I don't know if its me upping my dose of clomid thats making me feel like this, but I am really really pissed off today.:cry::cry::cry::cry:
> 
> I think I might go back to bed and sleep all day.


Your SIL is seeking attention, what a pain in the arse! If things were the way she described she'd be seeking further medical assistance and possibly in hospital. 

As for the friendship thing, sometimes its just hard, that's all!


----------



## Armywife84

WTF, Snooki (from Jersey Shore, trainwreck American show) is pregnant? How is it that ignorant people are always the most fertile! :growlmad:


----------



## uwa_amanda

Armywife84 said:


> WTF, Snooki (from Jersey Shore, trainwreck American show) is pregnant? How is it that ignorant people are always the most fertile! :growlmad:

I saw that on twitter earlier...someone replied,"I speak not only for myself but for the several million infertile women everywhere...WTF?!?!?!"

Snookie is the last person that needs to have a kid...


----------



## Armywife84

Feck, AF has not shown up. She has to come today. Come on already!

I hate this. Now, I want to test but I know it will be negative. There's no way I'm one of those women who get lucky after their lap. I have shitty luck! :cry:


----------



## cooch

Armywife84 said:


> Feck, AF has not shown up. She has to come today. Come on already!
> 
> I hate this. Now, I want to test but I know it will be negative. There's no way I'm one of those women who get lucky after their lap. I have shitty luck! :cry:

2 words- fingers crossed x


----------



## wonderstars

Armywife84 said:


> Feck, AF has not shown up. She has to come today. Come on already!
> 
> I hate this. Now, I want to test but I know it will be negative. There's no way I'm one of those women who get lucky after their lap. I have shitty luck! :cry:

BFP? Oh I so hope you got one. :dust:

Aargh, I know I chose to take the month off before starting Clomid but there's been two baby announcements and I am just dying inside. Ugh.:growlmad:

And I was supposed to be working out but then I got sick so I didn't even get to carry out my plan for my month off. :dohh:


----------



## NavyWife84

Armywife84 said:


> Feck, AF has not shown up. She has to come today. Come on already!
> 
> I hate this. Now, I want to test but I know it will be negative. There's no way I'm one of those women who get lucky after their lap. I have shitty luck! :cry:

Any news, Army? I've been thinking about you a lot...I so hope this is it for you.

My rants:
Another fb post about how a woman who is barely out of her first trimester is so huge and her belly "doubled in size over night" followed by a big UGH. Really, ugh?! You should be so friggin happy that you have that belly. What the hell did you think was going to happen to your belly when you got pregnant? Are you that ignorant that you thought nothing would happen (and yes...this is the same girl that said she wants her "skinny b*tch body back") Stop complaining and be thankful for your wonderful blessing!!!!!

We had a breakfast this morning for a woman who found out the sex of her baby yesterday. I walked into work today hearing her yelling out to everyone that she saw, "its a girl!" I know she is excited and has every right to be, but this has been a really hard week for me and it isn't how I needed my Friday to be.

My best friend, who was a leap year baby, committed suicide 2 years ago. His birthday really hit me hard this year, I guess because of the hype of leap year and knowing he would have "actually" had a birthday this year. I was able to stop him from committing suicide when he was 16 and still have so much guilt for not being able to help him 10ish years later. I know it's not my fault, but I have really bad phone anxiety and am really bad about keeping up with my friends. If only I wasn't so afraid to pick up the phone and call someone everyone once in a while, it might make a world of difference.

My students have been awful lately and I have been so snappy and short with them...they are only 6! I feel like a crappy teacher. Not to mention I am having one of those funks where I feel like a crappy wife, sister, daughter, friend, person, etc... Get me out of this funk!!!

Going to my parents' house this weekend to help them renovate their kitchen. I really don't want to be surrounded by family right now. I love my nephews and neice, but just don't have the emotional stability to be around them right now. Not to mention my family is going to be asking me all about my IUI and how I feel, etc. (I had it last Tuesday, so I won't know anything for a few more days but I doubt I am preggo. I don't have any symptoms except for crazy acne, which I know is just stress:growlmad:)

Sorry...like I said, it has been a really rough week:cry:


----------



## wonderstars

:hugs:

Once everyone reaches a certain point in their life, it becomes really hard to keep close tabs on everyone. Not getting on the phone to everyone is not a negative thing. Life happens. Your friend was lucky to have you, and you to have him. In a few years time, when leap year comes along, you'll get to celebrate his birthday with your little one. I'm sure he would love that. :)

And it ain't over til Aunt Flo makes her appearance. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts....:thumbup:


----------



## NavyWife84

wonderstars said:


> :hugs:
> 
> In a few years time, when leap year comes along, you'll get to celebrate his birthday with your little one. I'm sure he would love that. :)
> 
> And it ain't over til Aunt Flo makes her appearance. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts....:thumbup:

I never thought of it this way...what a beautiful thought! Thank you for that!

I really am trying to be positive. I got implantation dip according to ff, but I'm not trusting my thermometer right now...lol.


----------



## wannabemummyb

Good luck navywife and armywife!

My rant for the day: logged onto facebook last night and one of the pg ladies was whinging because she had a hard week and just wanted a glass of wine! Ffs you are so lucky to be pg with number 2!

Second rant: i have had flu for two weeks and it is still not going. Df has it too, so another month of no bfp for me because we are too ill to dtd.....both ashtmatic and with a awful cough walking makes us breathless let alone anything more energetic!

Feel better for getting it off my chest though


----------



## NavyWife84

wannabemummyb said:


> Good luck navywife and armywife!
> 
> My rant for the day: logged onto facebook last night and one of the pg ladies was whinging because she had a hard week and just wanted a glass of wine! Ffs you are so lucky to be pg with number 2!
> 
> Second rant: i have had flu for two weeks and it is still not going. Df has it too, so another month of no bfp for me because we are too ill to dtd.....both ashtmatic and with a awful cough walking makes us breathless let alone anything more energetic!
> 
> Feel better for getting it off my chest though

Ugh...I hate months when I feel like we are wasting time because we can't bd. I hope both of you feel better soon.


----------



## cooch

Good luck anyone waiting on BFP's (will put it that way rather than the ugly witch) xx


----------



## wonderstars

Someone needs to tell me to get off Facebook because every time I go wandering to someone else's page I start crying. A resident physician who got married a year after I did now has a baby due in 3 months. :cry:

I never get anything the easy way and after 30 years it's getting really tiresome and my DH just doesn't understand. This is the first thing that he's ever really had issues with...and it's not even male factor!

I would like to scream.


----------



## Lisa84

I know how you feel hunny. I had a break from FB last night because my friend went for her 20 wk scan and found out what she was havig so FB was full of congratulations. This is a 36 year old friend who already has 2 older boys and her OH was due to go for a vasectomy so for the 2 wks before he went thought that they wouldn't use anything because of her age and being on the pill for so long what was the chances of getting pregnant?!!! 

Like i said she is now 20wks so a very big chance it would seem. Funny how some ppl can fall pg in 2 weeks without even trying :( xxx


----------



## Wobbles

Threads been cleaned up ;)

A lot of people in the world vent their anger with words they don't mean, let's not make it personal and about who is better than the other, etc!


----------



## BearsMummy

Whoa, what have I missed?

Sorry I haven't replied to your messages, I have had the crappiest few weeks. So just decided to take a break from the internet for a while.

ArmyWife - I had the same thoughts about SIL. It all seems a little strange. 

But whats done is done, my brother came round with my nephew all weekend and didnt bring her, so I presume he has realised. I did apologise to him for not being there when HE needed me, but anything to do with babies/pregnancy is really starting to affect me bad. He said he completely understands, so I feel better that this is out in the open.

I have had a mad cycle, I just don't know what to make of it, I'm not even sure I have O'd, and I have ZERO symptoms of anything, not even my usual PMS symptoms I would have by now.


----------



## NavyWife84

I called my doc yesterday and today and left two messages. I wanted to know if I should do the clomid this month or not because they still haven't checked out the polyps in my uterus. She never got back to me and i'm supposed to start it tomorrow. Sooo frustrating! They cant do the saline sonogram to look at my uterus until next month...grrr.
I decided to go ahead with the clomid and iui again this month even though it probably wont work if my uterus is jacked. Praying for a miracle this month...not that that's any different than every month.


----------



## cooch

NavyWife84 said:


> I called my doc yesterday and today and left two messages. I wanted to know if I should do the clomid this month or not because they still haven't checked out the polyps in my uterus. She never got back to me and i'm supposed to start it tomorrow. Sooo frustrating! They cant do the saline sonogram to look at my uterus until next month...grrr.
> I decided to go ahead with the clomid and iui again this month even though it probably wont work if my uterus is jacked. Praying for a miracle this month...not that that's any different than every month.

You might as well go for it, but that is so annoying.


----------



## Armywife84

What did I miss? We weren't targeting anyone in particular in this thread. 

Good luck Navywife and anyone else waiting for hopefully good news.

I've got a few rants, in no particular order..

1. Both me and DH are sick which makes :sex: difficult as he can't ejaculate when he's feeling poorly. I hope this will pass before ovulation. But we're taking Mucinex so that should help with his viscosity and my CM. 

2. My damn anxiety has been keeping me up at night and all I can think about is if we'll ever have children. Also trying to convince myself that I'll manage if we end up childless. 

The future just scares me. You can only do so much..:cry:


----------



## MrstoMommy

Here comes my rant. All I seem to care about is conceiving. I feel as though I am losing a part of myself every month that I don't get pregnant. I just don't understand it. I use to cry every month she came. I haven't cried in a few months. I am disgusted with the thought that I am used to her coming. I supposed after 2 and a half years I should be used to it.


----------



## BearsMummy

Army - I'm with you on the anxiety! 

MrstoMummy - I have the exact same feelings, its like sometimes I'm just numb to AF arriving, mand my feelings have switched off.

I have a couple of rants.......

1) My damn cycle is a mess, FF changed my dotted cross hairs to CD26 (I see why for my temps, but not for my OPK and CM) my O date was CD12, which I am sure I did O then. So now I am apparently 3DPO and I havent even covered BD for over a week!! GRRR!!

2) Just popped into TTC section (yes, I know, all give me a slap now!) and thought I could help a few ladies out with my 'superior' knowledge of TTC, then realised my 'superior knowledge' hasn't done me any good, so why the hell would they listen to me anyway!............. Then I come across a thread of a woman who is in cycle 1 of TTC and saying how much her life has changed etc!! Dear God woman, try coming ove rand seeing what us girls in LTTC are going through, then you REALLY will see life changing things!!


----------



## wonderstars

MrstoMommy, there are sooooo many days I feel like this. It is so mentally and emotionally exhausting doing this. 

I wanna be back to that first month of trying when it was all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. Now all I think is (stuff that shouldn't be said in posts, hehe). That TTC section seems soooo long ago. Remember when we all used to be excited and nervous in the TWW? Now I'm just f*ck it, there's nothing to look forward to.

My nurse's prescription for you all today: go do something purely for yourself. Whether it's a walk, sitting in the coffeeshop to read a book with a latte or a mini shopping spree. Anything to treat yourself. Now get to it! :thumbup:


----------



## wonderstars

Oh man, the one day I needed the website it's getting upgrades, lol. Such was my day.

My vent:

My coworker (sits maybe 3 feet away) knows that I've been going through hell and whoops, they try for one month and then goes to me this morning "I finally figured out why I was so hungry, I'm in shock but I took a test when my period didn't show and I'm pregnant! I really don't want anyone to know".

Seriously, you tell the girl in the office who's infertile? Are you f*cking kidding me? At least tomorrow is her last day! :thumbup:

I managed not to cry in front of patients in the clinic but came home and ate anything and everything that came my way and sulked in bed. Now I feel like I need to work out for 2 hours tomorrow. :growlmad:


----------



## wannabemummyb

Like wonders I really needed to vent last night!

Wonders - really sorry to hear it was such a crappy day! It sux when co workers get pregnant especially only after amonth!

My rants:

Logged onto facebook and faced by another scan picture from someone new....this time asking peopleto vote if they think she is having a boy or a girl! Grrrr
Very nearly posted, to all thoses about to announce yourpregnancy kindliy f off and delete me first!

Secondly, it is mothering sunday in the uk this sunday! Great! Another reminder that i am still not a mother! I do not have a great relationship with my mother so its a double whammy for me!

Thirdly, non ttc related i got passed over for a promotion again! 

The above is now slighlty calmer than it would have been last night!!!


----------



## itakp

Really could have done with a rant last night like the ladies above...

Went to work after some time off yesterday and my friend comes over skipping with enthusiasm telling how her other friend is pregnant, and that they only forgot contraception once! Oh, and she has such a cute little bump! :hissy: Kept it together all day and came home to cry.

Also, Clomid really hasn´t been my friend, I have been an emotonal wreck all cycle, having extremely painful boobs and having flipping cramps all the time after O. I know all this is due to Clomid as both my husband and I are infertile and can´t face second cycle of this... Grrrr!


----------



## cooch

itakp, wannabe and wonderstars what a crap time to have of it. I can't get over the announcement, that's so selfish and inconsiderate and almost deliberate too, urgh some people


----------



## wonderstars

I swear I'm not making this crap up...now she texted us saying thanks so much for all our help "we have our first prenatal appt in April ". 

...

I need to buy a punching bag. All this stress is making my cycles crazy. I have gone from 5 days of spotting before my period to spotting right after ovulation up to my period for 2 cycles in an f'n row!!!. I have absolutely no faith that clomid will do anything.

Hope you girls are doing better. Ugh, wannabe I am so dreading mother's day here in may. Hugs to you.


----------



## wannabemummyb

Seriously, there has been a pg announcement every flipping day this week! Am i the only infertile one of my friends!! Will it ever happen for me? :-(


----------



## Armywife84

I love how we can vent about other things besides IF on here. :thumbup:

The nerve of some of these ninnies!! Why must they expect everyone to jump around for joy when they announce they're expecting? Do you want a gold star, a cookie, perhaps a pat on the back? You're fertile, so what!! :growlmad::growlmad:

My Rants:

1. Me and DH are in the middle of moving and are currently shacking up with the in-laws for the next few weeks till we find our new place. MIL kindly asks me about endo and my treatment options..She's never done this, so I'm sputtering about like an idiot. It's just so hard to talk about IF with fertile people. Then......Wait for it.....after listening to my information she has the audacity to finish with, "After you move, get a new job to get your mind off it, then it will happen when you least expect it". :saywhat:

I reply back with, "If only it were that easy" and walked out of the room. Are you fucking kidding me??? :growlmad::cry: 

It's nice that she said something about the IF and actually talked about it with me, most people don't do that. At the same time, I could've done without her comment. Maybe it's just best not to talk about it at all if people can't say anything remotely positive. I would've been happy with, "I hope it works out for you, or when the time comes we'll help you with money for IVF". Wishful thinking! :dohh:

So now I'm hiding from my MIL in the guest room. :shhh:


----------



## wannabemummyb

I tried to explain to df again how down i am feeling about the whole ltttc thing, i have had four friends announce their pg this week. One even did so by showing me her 3 month pregnancy bump! Anyway, he said "our time will come" really? How the hell does he know that? I love him to bits but really sometimes!


----------



## wonderstars

wannabemummyb said:


> I tried to explain to df again how down i am feeling about the whole ltttc thing, i have had four friends announce their pg this week. One even did so by showing me her 3 month pregnancy bump! Anyway, he said "our time will come" really? How the hell does he know that? I love him to bits but really sometimes!

Sounds similar to my dh's response, "every one has a different path".

They can go f* themselves (well besides that fertile time, when it's all about me :winkwink:).

Hugs to all my LTTC ladies today.

:dust:


----------



## wannabemummyb

wonderstars said:


> wannabemummyb said:
> 
> 
> I tried to explain to df again how down i am feeling about the whole ltttc thing, i have had four friends announce their pg this week. One even did so by showing me her 3 month pregnancy bump! Anyway, he said "our time will come" really? How the hell does he know that? I love him to bits but really sometimes!
> 
> Sounds similar to my dh's response, "every one has a different path".
> 
> They can go f* themselves (well besides that fertile time, when it's all about me :winkwink:).
> 
> Hugs to all my LTTC ladies today.
> 
> :dust:Click to expand...

Glad it's not just me. Was watching a show the other day where one of the characters is not able to get preggers, she has been trying for a couple of months and thinks its the end of the world! It made me laugh. It is good though that shows deal with infertility 

:hugs:


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## Armywife84

My Rants of the Day:

1. I suppose people had nothing better to do this winter because every furniture shop I went to had loads of bumps walking around. 

2. Non LTTC related...Why the hell is living room furniture so hard to shop for??!!! All the media consoles are hideous and the sofa quality has come down over the years. :growlmad::growlmad:

3. In MIL's living room, she has an empty "Grandkids" collage photo frame leaning against the wall. I just want to smash it.:devil:


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## wannabemummyb

Why does af decide this month it is going to turn up on cd27 (normally 35 days minimum) and on mothers day! Seriously? So not only is today a huge reminder that i am still not a mummy but also that this month i am definately not preggers!

You ladies know how tough af is at any time so i know you will feel my pain


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## Armywife84

Argh...so sorry to hear about Mother's Day. It's only the worst day ever for LTTCers who are still struggling to get their first. 

More Rants:

4. MIL felt it was necessary to announce the new baby's baptism will be the 16th of June. Don't care and I'm definitely not attending. Why can't this be discussed June 1st? 

5. We didn't have enough sex this month due to staying with the in-laws till our move date. Thus, I'm most likely not pregnant this month either.:cry:


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## wonderstars

Gawk in-laws suck. I finally hinted to DH's dad about the IF and that was just because I was "lucky" that his nephew and wife were having issues too. 

Screw 'em. Drink lots during your period and get at your hubby next cycle.

Wannabe: that just sucks. Stress does horrible things. 

My rant tonight:

This stress is totally f'n with my body. Dry scalp(I have NEVER had this in all my 31 years). Spotting after O. No more sore boobs or yellow CM after O (aargh, I'm guessing I'm not ovulating).

Worst of all? The weekend is over and another week begins. Son of a bitch.:dohh:


----------



## NavyWife84

Ugh...a combination of mother's day and af...that's the worst. I am seriously dreading Mother's Day this year (ours is in May). Last year, I decided to suck it up because my mom was in town celebrating with my sister (who was celebrating her first mother's day as a mommy). My dad was being an arse and wouldn't come up to be with my mom and my sister, so I would have felt like a really sh*tty daughter if I didn't spend it with my mom. Watching my sister with her new baby was killer though. I don't know how I am going to do it this year. It is so hard, but I feel so selfish if I don't celebrate with my family. Hopefully I will be preggers by then, but doubtful considering I am due for a saline sonogram in april to check out the polyps in my uterus, which will probably lead to a lap in May. Therefore, this is my last month to concieve before mother's day :(

In laws can be the worst sometimes :(

A {mostly} non-ttc related rant:
So I felt really crappy yesterday and have had strep throat once or twice a year for 10ish years, so I was pretty sure it was Strep again. Being a Sunday, I couldn't get in to my doctor, so I decided to go to an Urgent Care place. I called them several times to make an appointment, because they are by appointment only...by appointment only at an Urgent Care Center:shrug: Anyway, they wouldn't answer the phone at first. I finally got a hold of them and they made an apppointment for me within an hour. I went in to the triage nurses and they did my vitals and everything. I had the chills and was sore all over and just wanted to get my Strep test, meds, and go home. They asked me all the normal questions...allergies, symptoms, etc. Then they took a swab of my throat and sent me to another room to wait for the lab results and talk to the doctor. The doc comes in and asks me the same exact questions the triage nurses asked me...why do they always do that...can't you read my chart. At this point my throat is really hurting and I don't want to talk to anyone! So then he starts asking me questions about my work, where I work, what I do, etc...Ummm, hello...I don't want to be rude but I am in a lot of pain right now and talking is making it worse!!! :dohh: So then he says, with a chuckle, "You are the proud owner of a Strep!" I already knew that, I just want my meds and to go home!!! So then, after making me talk so much, he is leaving the room and says, "I have never had Strep, but I hear it feels like you swallowed a bunch of razor blades." Yes, that is exactly what it feels like, so why the hell did you make me talk so much?!? :grr:

Now on the TTC side...while he was asking me all the same questions the nurses had already asked me, he asked if I was pregnant...the dreaded question I knew was coming...I simply replied "no" and to that he asked if I was sure. I said yes, I am very sure (we haven't even bd once since my last af...but I didn't tell him that). So then he says, well why are you taking prenatal vitamins then? I replied, because we have been ttc for over a year and a half. I tried to make a joke of it and say, "the prenatals aren't really doing me much good, are they?" To that he said, "you know, just taking them will not get you pregnant." Ugh...you ignorant a*hole! After a year and a half I think I would know what it takes to make a baby, I am just fertilly challenged...thanks :dohh:

Now I feel so crappy and really need to bd a lot (coming up on ovulation) and I don't have the strenght...looks like dh will be doing all the work :haha:

Wow...it feels so good to rant on here!


----------



## wonderstars

Lol, they used to tell Med Students that they need to work on patient communication, it became quite the issue up here. Poor guy, haha. Maybe he needed a nice little break and talking to you was it. Nothing like joking about Strep, though. Thanks for the laugh (although unfortunate for you!!!). Hope you're feeling better soon. 

Rant:

I wish my period would decided to show. Heavy spotting this morning and then it disappeared. I need it show so I can start clomid! :brat:


----------



## greekgirl

hey. thanks i need to vent a little. glad i found this thread. 
i'll just get to it. so this girl i know has been hassling me ever since we got married (and still does) about the baby thing. "any news yet?" my no followed by a "oh that's ok." EVERYTIME. then early 2011 (a year later) she decides she wants to start trying. she told me i am not ready to be a mom but she is and how she has done research and read articles... (like articles prepare you for motherhood) and that "it's ok to not be ready" DID I SAY I WASN'T READY??? she kept telling me that she wanted to wait till after their wedding and that everything needed to be done in order. trying to prove to herself how together she thinks she is.
she tells me that i need to call upon the universe and that i have to get in tune with it and myself and visualize it (conception) - oh, no, i never asked for her advice. she just knew we were trying and she would start up that topic everytime we would see eachother. :grr:
so may comes around and it's her birthday and since her boyfriend at the time now husband is my OH's childhood friend we were obligated to go to her party. and to see her once in a while. :growlmad:
it was so obvious she was pregnant because she kept touching her belly and looking at me. and she finally didn't bring up the baby thing. which was weird. i just knew. she had also posted a pic on facebook with her belly looking a little swollen. a month later she calls me while we've just returned from the hospital for a heart problem my OH was having to tell me that she is expecting and how she wanted to tell me privately. 
???? should i laugh? is this her being nice? :shrug: of course not.
the whole summer she rubbed it our face how she got pregnant so fast and didn't expect it. she kept saying things like 'nothing is coincidental' and 'some people are destined to be parents', 'everything happens for a reason'.

so while she was in her 8th month she asked me if i had thought of IVF. she also said that she was against all the meds they put you on and how she wouldn't ever do it. what a bitch! so now they flaunt their baby and their happiness and i know i sound like a loser but i just got my period after being 5 days late so i am a little cranky. 
her husband joked when we saw them sunday walking with the baby in their arms that they're going to start for a second soon and did this little giggle and jump. not like feet off the ground jump, more like a little bump brag jump. 
i forget what cartoon character did that. i felt like i was being mocked.
she has been nasty to almost everyone i know in this sorta 'i am dumb and self confident' way. telling girls who are approaching 40 that they are close to menopause and that they will not likely have kids and girls in bad relationships that they have to find a man soon if they want to ever start a family and rubbing it in their face how great it is to be a mom and there is no feeling like it. 
so i hope i can avoid her till about two months after my bfp and no! actually i wouldn't want to see her then either. but i know i will being that she is part of the group. she is so ditsy and airheaded and has no girlfriends i wonder how she thinks she is on some righteous path of inner greatness.
but i believe in peace....
as my friend tori says.


----------



## greeneyes0279

Such an AWFUL Day! So Dh and I decide to do an IUI after being on long break from failed treatments. I'm all excited to go in on cd3(today) and get my scan and meds. So I undress and lay on the us table and the tech inserts the probe and BLAM, what do we see...................a nice sized juicy cyst on my right ovary. SERIOUSLY! $%&$#%@#$$%^%^&&& I take a nice long break and have to come back to this. The worst part of this is DH and I only have 2 more shots at fertility treatments (April & May). I just want to cry. DH and I have been through A LOT in the past year. The loss of a pregnancy (took 2 years to conceive) and the loss of his mom to cancer 2 months ago. :cry:


----------



## wonderstars

:hugs: greeneyes. That sucks about the cyst. I'm not even sure how they approach that but hopefully you're able to get at least one cycle in. 

greekgirl - she sounds like quite the character, don't blame you for the vent!


No vent today. Well okay, a tiny one. Why are there SO many women out there who don't take any responsibility over their health when they're pregnant?! And you're going to be taking care of a child? Scary. :dohh:


----------



## Calasen

I really feel like %##$%£% right now :(

Was getting all hopeful that the doctors were finally doing tests and gonna help us after 19 months TTC. Things for the wedding were going well and it actually seemed like for once life was giving us a break. As if that would last!

Today we found out that OH is very close to developing Glaucoma and possibly losing his sight very quickly as theres no real treatment for it and is now on a watch list for the rest of his life so fingers crossed it doesn't get that far.
As well as getting a call of the Doctor asking us to repeat the blood tests we had done to be certain that the results are the same (despite this being the 4th time!!) He wants to confirm that my levels are really that low!!! Clomid is now not an option for me and the only other option I can't have due to a family history of cervical, ovarian and breast cancer, and also because of the medication i need to take for other conditions. :( 

It just never stops, I have lost so much due to the damn illness i have and now I am losing my future as well?????????

How much more do I have to lose?????


----------



## Armywife84

Navywife- Those military doctors are the bottom feeders of med school. Complete morons!

Greekgirl- Your "friend" IS a bitch. I'd certainly steer clear of the smug cow. She hardly deserves the baby with that nasty attitude. 

Greeneyes- So sorry to hear about your losses. :hugs:

My Rants:

I was stuck in the in-laws house trying to socialize with MIL, as I came under fire recently for closing myself off from them. My anxiety just kicks in and I'm afraid they're going to start going on about the new baby or SIL. While I'm sitting there chatting with her (she was talking about how she met FIL) she made the comment that god gave her her babies and how he will give me a baby too. Then made the suggestion that I should start going to church. :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:

Yes, if I went to church and prayed (been there done that) then I'll be instantly pregnant the next month. :nope: I know LTTCers with religious faith still in tact (I applaud you women) who still can't get pregnant. 

At this point I'm really getting SICK and TIRED of people with their comments, so I fire back this time. I challenged her with, "If God had something to do with it, then why is there IVF and IUIs? Why does he "bless" women who microwave their babies, shake them to death, or shoot them point blank, when there are couples who will love and protect a child who struggle for years for a baby? What about those who are completely unable to have a baby? Is it because God sees them as unfit? Why is a woman who snorts coke a fit parent? I'm sorry but in my opinion God has nothing to do with it". She didn't have anything to say about that and changed the subject. :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad: And they wonder why I try to spend as little time as possible with them. 

Note: I completely respect those LTTCers with religious faith. I'm definitely not blaming God for IF or angry with him. My faith has just fallen by the wayside.


----------



## Armywife84

More Rants:

-MIL logging onto FB announcing that so and so just had their second child. I'm pretty sure FIL, DH, and I don't care. Then she commented on how big my new niece is getting. Erm, I'm pretty sure I don't need FB updates seeing as I deleted my fecking FB for this exact reason!!! :growlmad::growlmad:

-I got a card in the mail for my other niece's 2nd birthday party. Damn milestones. If I've quit baby showers, baptisms, and children's birthday parties, I'm going to find every excuse to avoid this one. Around that time we'll be living further away so hopefully I can use that as an excuse plus the rising cost of petrol.

-Found out that giant "Grandkids" collage frame was given to MIL by smug SIL. Stupid wench couldn't find anything smaller? Rather silly considering there's only 4 grandchildren atm. Other SIL will have 1 more and smug SIL certainly can't afford anymore. They can't even afford the 3 they have now without getting benefits.

Argh, I can't wait to leave the in-laws. That way I won't have to see any of them for the rest of the year. If I'm not pregnant by this Christmas, I'm definitely not spending time surrounded by LOs. It's going to be on the damn beach with an adult beverage in my hand!!


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## wannabemummyb

Not sure you would class this as a vent: sometimes i think the world is cruel. Df bought me two gorgeous kittens 18 months ago because of our baby struggles, ultimately they are my furr babies, my surrogate babies, because lets face it i may never naturally conceive a child, but my boy cat wasn't seen yesterday during the day, which is not unheard of, and we were out yesterday early evening - anyway, we found his body this morning having been hit by a car. Looks like he was trying to crawl home :-( 

My vent? How is life fair? I then log onto fb and some stupid bint is whinging that when will life start treating her right? Ffs you have three beautiful kids and your pissed off you can't go out and have no money! All i have is the distant hope i may have a baby and even one of my furr babies is taken away!


----------



## uwa_amanda

wannabemummyb said:


> Not sure you would class this as a vent: sometimes i think the world is cruel. Df bought me two gorgeous kittens 18 months ago because of our baby struggles, ultimately they are my furr babies, my surrogate babies, because lets face it i may never naturally conceive a child, but my boy cat wasn't seen yesterday during the day, which is not unheard of, and we were out yesterday early evening - anyway, we found his body this morning having been hit by a car. Looks like he was trying to crawl home :-(
> 
> My vent? How is life fair? I then log onto fb and some stupid bint is whinging that when will life start treating her right? Ffs you have three beautiful kids and your pissed off you can't go out and have no money! All i have is the distant hope i may have a baby and even one of my furr babies is taken away!

:hugs: So sorry about your furbaby. :hugs:

I really don't have a vent...haven't had one lately. Been trying to keep myself out of situations where I won't have to hear, see, smell, etc anything baby. It's been hard. I'll go to Walmart or Target and I'll have to find a different way just to get around the baby stuff. I hate this infertility bullsh*t. I guess I had to vent anyway...:haha:


----------



## Lady H

Ooooooh just found this thread. Can I add age old rant of why is every other f*** er pregnant except me. Even the anorexic lady two doors down looks like she is knocked up again. Pi55ed off today as got another BFN at DPO 14, day late for AF and no sign. aaaaaaand breathe !


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## Lady H

wannabemummyb said:


> Not sure you would class this as a vent: sometimes i think the world is cruel. Df bought me two gorgeous kittens 18 months ago because of our baby struggles, ultimately they are my furr babies, my surrogate babies, because lets face it i may never naturally conceive a child, but my boy cat wasn't seen yesterday during the day, which is not unheard of, and we were out yesterday early evening - anyway, we found his body this morning having been hit by a car. Looks like he was trying to crawl home :-(
> 
> My vent? How is life fair? I then log onto fb and some stupid bint is whinging that when will life start treating her right? Ffs you have three beautiful kids and your pissed off you can't go out and have no money! All i have is the distant hope i may have a baby and even one of my furr babies is taken away!

Oh no so sorry Huni. I have two Furbaby cats and I totally feel your pain. So sad. Big hugs xxx


----------



## wannabemummyb

Lady H said:


> wannabemummyb said:
> 
> 
> Not sure you would class this as a vent: sometimes i think the world is cruel. Df bought me two gorgeous kittens 18 months ago because of our baby struggles, ultimately they are my furr babies, my surrogate babies, because lets face it i may never naturally conceive a child, but my boy cat wasn't seen yesterday during the day, which is not unheard of, and we were out yesterday early evening - anyway, we found his body this morning having been hit by a car. Looks like he was trying to crawl home :-(
> 
> My vent? How is life fair? I then log onto fb and some stupid bint is whinging that when will life start treating her right? Ffs you have three beautiful kids and your pissed off you can't go out and have no money! All i have is the distant hope i may have a baby and even one of my furr babies is taken away!
> 
> Oh no so sorry Huni. I have two Furbaby cats and I totally feel your pain. So sad. Big hugs xxxClick to expand...

Thanks hun, and welcome to the thread!

Everywhere i go i seem to see at least one heavily pregnant women!


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## wonderstars

:hugs: wannabe. I couldn't imagine losing one of my furbabies. :cry: I need to go give my pups a hug.

Welcome to the newbies! I know we all try to be positive, but man, somedays you just gotta let it go. My DH never seems to get it. :dohh:


----------



## wannabemummyb

wonderstars said:


> :hugs: wannabe. I couldn't imagine losing one of my furbabies. :cry: I need to go give my pups a hug.
> 
> Welcome to the newbies! I know we all try to be positive, but man, somedays you just gotta let it go. My DH never seems to get it. :dohh:

Its pretty devestating to be honest. We have another cat (they were sister and brother from the same litter), she doesn't understand and keeps going looking for him! It is heartbreaking :cry:


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## itakp

wannabemummyb, :hugs:. It just broke my heart to read he´d tried to make it home. I don´t think I could cope if my cat died, she is everything to me (don´t tell DH! :)). Hope you´re ok yourself.

Onto the vent... I told my dad over the phone that we are thinking about moving into a larger property. He then asks me if we are thinking of starting a family. Yes, as you know, dad, we have been trying hard for the past year and bit!! He then proceeds to say that we obviously just don´t have the right ´ingredients´ for a baby. Thanks dad. I really needed you to twist the knife in the wound! He felt very sorry he said anything at the end of that phone call and won´t be ringing again in a hurry. Some people, honestly.


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## Armywife84

:cry::cry::cry: So sorry to hear about your kitty. I've always had an emotional breakdown when pets pass on; they're family!! 

The only rants I have are:

-I'm quite annoyed that we couldn't get into the apartment we wanted and had to settle for some place that doesn't have washer and dryer connections, but a laundry facility (you have to pay for). Ridiculous! But, it was the only place available around our move date. Even on base housing had a mile long wait list! :growlmad:

-Also wish MIL would refrain from talking about SIL(not even her daughter, I like her daughter) on a daily basis. I can't stand the bitch and she doesn't exist in my life..so stop fecking bringing her up!! MIL knows we haven't spoken in nearly a year and we're not going to anytime soon until she apologizes. Until then, she can piss off!


----------



## wonderstars

Armywife84 said:


> The only rants I have are:
> 
> -I'm quite annoyed that we couldn't get into the apartment we wanted and had to settle for some place that doesn't have washer and dryer connections, but a laundry facility (you have to pay for). Ridiculous! But, it was the only place available around our move date. Even on base housing had a mile long wait list! :growlmad:
> 
> -Also wish MIL would refrain from talking about SIL(not even her daughter, I like her daughter) on a daily basis. I can't stand the bitch and she doesn't exist in my life..so stop fecking bringing her up!! MIL knows we haven't spoken in nearly a year and we're not going to anytime soon until she apologizes. Until then, she can piss off!

I'm thinking you need:

:flower::kiss::hugs::drunk::bunny:

Hope your week starts looking up!


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## Armywife84

Rants:

1. AF started a day early. Beeyatch. :growlmad::growlmad:

2. I was actually having a swell day until my father called and accused me of going to his home returning an item then leaving the door unlocked. Which I did not do this, as I've only been to his home when he's there. I'm the only one who has a key so of course he accuses me. :growlmad: But he basically called me a liar. So I told him off and am not talking to him. 

3. All this stress from moving has got my face broke out like a pubescent teenager. :dohh: I'm 27 for pete's sake. 

4. I'm kicking myself in the arse for not packing summer tops as the weather is wacky. I don't really want to spend the $$ on more summer clothes as we still have to shell out money for deposit, rent, and moving truck, etc. on the 9th.


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## gypsygirl1018

I have found that with it being April Fool's Day today, everyone that I am friends with on facebook has decided the best prank is to post "I'm pregnant!" to get a response out of people, not realizing how badly it can hurt.

I also was talking to my mother the other day and she made a comment about my SIL who was expecting her second to my father who walked into the room. When I asked what she was talking about she responded with "You wouldn't understand unless you had kids." It was like a knife to the heart.

Whenever I talk to my mom, when I bring up anything with regard to my having kids she responds with "You're not ready," "You're too young," or "I really think you should wait." I will be 30 years old in a month and I think I am old enough and mature enough to make my own decisions. She wants me to wait until I am married to have kids, but to be honest I have been married before and that did not go well at all, so I am in no hurry for a repeat. My fiancee and I are perfectly happy waiting to get married. Neither of us has a problem trying to get pregnant before we tie the knot.

Just a few things that have been annoying me lately.


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## Armywife84

Argh what a cruel April Fool's prank! And I thought Mother's Day was bad. Sheesh!


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## NavyWife84

There's a really good picture/quote going around fb about how cruel that "joke" is. I posted it and a lot of people shared it. If you want to see it pm me and I will give you my fb name.


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## Armywife84

My Rants:

1. Such a pisser today in IL, it's fecking 90 degrees...in April!! Ridiculous! 

2. When Dh and I came back from the local zoo, I passed by the birth announcement of the new baby tacked up on a board in the kitchen. Seriously? We've been here for weeks and I haven't seen a picture in sight and MIL tacks one up. Couldn't she just have waited one more week till we leave??!! Argh, it's the same (gag) birth announcement smug SIL sent me..that went straight into the garbage bin when DH wasn't looking. 

3. Then the zoo was taken over by women and their infants, toddlers. I couldn't walk without stepping on a toddler! :cry:

4. Lastly, of where MIL keeps the wedding photos, the empty spot where ours is supposed to go (I've been lazy and haven't given her a wedding photo. Wish we would've hired a photographer) the pic of the new baby is in it's place. I know I'm probably being extra sensitive, but for feck's sake there's enough pics of the grandkids! 

8 more days till we leave here and I can reside in our new home (a baby free zone). :thumbup:


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## NavyWife84

Army, you really need to get out of there! Good thing you only have a week left.

My rant:
Why does ff play with my head? Last month when I had my iui on clomid I had an implantation dip on days 9 and 10 so I got my hopes up. The dip was just below my coverline both days. Well, this morning, day 9, I got a huge dip...all the way down to my lowest temp on cd 1. I couldn't have an iui this month because the clinic was closed and we only bd 3 times this month (around ovulation) so I know my chances are slim to none. But since I had such a huge dip my hopes are going to be way too high until af shows. I have been at this game way too long to be getting my hopes up. Until these last two months, I have never had my temps go below coverline post o except before af comes. I know af is not on her way yet because my cycles are really regular so it is too early and I don't have any symptoms of af coming yet. Could these dips be due to the clomid?

Also, ff has never given me those "crosshairs" that everyone talks about. Over a year of using and paying for the darn site and not one crosshair. What's up with that?


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## Lady H

Navy can you post your ff link, happy to have a look for you?


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## NavyWife84

Lady H said:


> Navy can you post your ff link, happy to have a look for you?

I think I have just added it to my siggy. Let me know if it doesn't work.


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## Lady H

Yep I see it. That does seem an unusual dip for your cycle, so fx it is a good sign. You have closed circles for all your temps so I am not sure why it only does dotted cross hairs. It's irregular temping than can cause that but it looks ok. It seems to have plotted based on your OPK results rather than temps as the bounced around a bit a ovulation time. I hope it's good news. X


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## itakp

My rant of the day is rather a moan... Had the worst day at work. Yet another one of my colleagues is pregnant (I work with 50 women in my unit) and that´s all anyone spoke about. Incessantly. Where ever I moved to in the department the constant talk about her new pregnancy followed. I managed 10 hours of it and then broke down and had to leave. :cry: On top of feeling like a complete failure I now also have a sickness on my record. Great. I am just so tired of TTC.


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## Punchy

I've been really private about my LTTTC issues, so most of my family is oblivious. My sis (who had her oops pregnancy at age 17) asked me if I'm trying hard enough...like, am I putting my legs in the air after sex? You call THAT trying hard?! Of course I had to tell her right then that I'm on round #2 of IUI and clomid - is that trying hard enough for you?! I'm not mad at her because I know she is just ignorant of the situation. It was
such a stupid comment that it's almost funny.


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## wonderstars

Yikes, that's right up there with "just relax and it'll happen" :dohh:

Oh ff. I'm happy I stopped temping long ago, too much stress because I was always pulling my hair out with the lack of "crosshairs". That term was holding me hostage.


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## uwa_amanda

Mine is more an airing of frustrations not related to LTTTC...or maybe it is...

Work has been super stressful these last two months, it's ridiculous. There have been threats of suspensions for missing the little stuff. I almost want to screw something up so I can get a day off! :haha: I know that's terrible but the stress I have endured is probably mucking up my chances (very small I may add...) of getting pregnant. I have some vacation days left but I can't take them because I have SO MUCH work to do every day...ugh!!!!! :coffee: *UNBELIEVABLE*

Oh the joys of working in transportation and logistics...:dohh:


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## Punchy

uwa_amanda said:


> Mine is more an airing of frustrations not related to LTTTC...or maybe it is...
> 
> Work has been super stressful these last two months, it's ridiculous. There have been threats of suspensions for missing the little stuff. I almost want to screw something up so I can get a day off! :haha: I know that's terrible but the stress I have endured is probably mucking up my chances (very small I may add...) of getting pregnant. I have some vacation days left but I can't take them because I have SO MUCH work to do every day...ugh!!!!! :coffee: *UNBELIEVABLE*
> 
> Oh the joys of working in transportation and logistics...:dohh:

Just think that you'll still have those vacation days available when you get pregnant. :flower: I hope that helps...


----------



## s08

This is my first post on this thread, but here are my two rants:

1. Someone just posted in the BFP announcements section a BFP "after 16 days TTC!" WTF? I know its totally my fault for going into the forum...but 16 days?!? Are you freaking kidding me?

2. This is along the lines of "relax" advice. The other day my child-free friend who I confided in about LTTTC said, in all seriousness, that dh and I just had to have more sex. It was actually really sweet, since she didn't mean any harm by it. But really...I can assure you that is not the problem. Especially after all the meds, IUI's, etc.


----------



## Armywife84

16 days of TTC and she got a BFP?? Poor dear, what a struggle! :rofl::rofl:

I suppose I'm not trying hard enough either. I quit temping when we found out male factor..and tossed OPks because I hardly ever got an accurate stick. This last cycle, I didn't put my legs up over my head after BDing either. Oops. :haha:

My Rant of the Day:
1. My allergies have gone mad. I can't stop blowing my nose and scratching at my body. Not to mention, this prescription allergy medicine isn't doing garb to end my suffering. Stupid pollen blowing all over the damn place. I'm afraid to step outside. 

2. I want to throw away that picture of the new baby. It's right by the television which is mounted on the wall. :growlmad: So I try to stay out of the living room as much as possible. 

3. We need to have sex as ovulation is nearing, but we're still at the in-laws till Tue. It's so awkward trying to have sex under their roof and when their bedroom is next to ours. :dohh:


----------



## Just_married

s08 said:


> This is my first post on this thread, but here are my two rants:
> 
> 1. Someone just posted in the BFP announcements section a BFP "after 16 days TTC!" WTF? I know its totally my fault for going into the forum...but 16 days?!? Are you freaking kidding me?
> 
> 2. This is along the lines of "relax" advice. The other day my child-free friend who I confided in about LTTTC said, in all seriousness, that dh and I just had to have more sex. It was actually really sweet, since she didn't mean any harm by it. But really...I can assure you that is not the problem. Especially after all the meds, IUI's, etc.

16 long days? It's hard not to feel so cheated. 

I completely understand with the friend thing. My closest friend, getting married in August. She knows we've been trying for nearly a year now & we happened to mention that we had been taking pregnacare his n hers conception..."you need to do more than take some pills though". Laughed politely and offered cup of tea so I could leave room before I launched into a rant of the pill popping, squirting lube, soy tablets, peeing on a stick for opk, legs in the air, etc etc not to mention internal scans, ten million blood tests, pee samples, hour long bus journey with a SA in my cleavage! 
She also came up to my house in January as she was going to ask me to be her bridesmaid, but didn't ask because she realised I was seriously ttc and the dress wouldn't fit if I got pregnant! So I've missed out being her bm in august and I'm not even pregnant. She has given me the 'pregnant friendly' job of doing a reading at her service, so not completely missing out. But not quite the same as being bm.


----------



## NavyWife84

Armywife84 said:


> 16 days of TTC and she got a BFP?? Poor dear, what a struggle! :rofl::rofl:
> 
> I suppose I'm not trying hard enough either. I quit temping when we found out male factor..and tossed OPks because I hardly ever got an accurate stick. This last cycle, I didn't put my legs up over my head after BDing either. Oops. :haha:
> 
> My Rant of the Day:
> 1. My allergies have gone mad. I can't stop blowing my nose and scratching at my body. Not to mention, this prescription allergy medicine isn't doing garb to end my suffering. Stupid pollen blowing all over the damn place. I'm afraid to step outside.
> 
> 2. I want to throw away that picture of the new baby. It's right by the television which is mounted on the wall. :growlmad: So I try to stay out of the living room as much as possible.
> 
> 3. We need to have sex as ovulation is nearing, but we're still at the in-laws till Tue. It's so awkward trying to have sex under their roof and when their bedroom is next to ours. :dohh:

We have never stayed with my inlaws except one time when we stayed in the camper in the yard. I couldn't stay any closer to them than that...lol.

My mom encourages us to bd as much as possible but it is still weird even though we stay on separate floors. If we do bd though, we move down to the floor to minimize on the noise...haha


----------



## NavyWife84

Just_married said:


> s08 said:
> 
> 
> This is my first post on this thread, but here are my two rants:
> 
> 1. Someone just posted in the BFP announcements section a BFP "after 16 days TTC!" WTF? I know its totally my fault for going into the forum...but 16 days?!? Are you freaking kidding me?
> 
> 2. This is along the lines of "relax" advice. The other day my child-free friend who I confided in about LTTTC said, in all seriousness, that dh and I just had to have more sex. It was actually really sweet, since she didn't mean any harm by it. But really...I can assure you that is not the problem. Especially after all the meds, IUI's, etc.
> 
> 16 long days? It's hard not to feel so cheated.
> 
> I completely understand with the friend thing. My closest friend, getting married in August. She knows we've been trying for nearly a year now & we happened to mention that we had been taking pregnacare his n hers conception..."you need to do more than take some pills though". Laughed politely and offered cup of tea so I could leave room before I launched into a rant of the pill popping, squirting lube, soy tablets, peeing on a stick for opk, legs in the air, etc etc not to mention internal scans, ten million blood tests, pee samples, hour long bus journey with a SA in my cleavage!
> She also came up to my house in January as she was going to ask me to be her bridesmaid, but didn't ask because she realised I was seriously ttc and the dress wouldn't fit if I got pregnant! So I've missed out being her bm in august and I'm not even pregnant. She has given me the 'pregnant friendly' job of doing a reading at her service, so not completely missing out. But not quite the same as being bm.Click to expand...

I don't understand the whole not having a pregnant woman in the bridal party thing. My ex best friend made a big deal out of that too and made a rude comment about me possibly being "fat" in her wedding. While a wedding is mostly about the couple, it is also about another wonderful stage of life and the joining of two families...families! That means growing families too. I think there is something beautiful and symbolic about having a pregnant woman in the bridal party. I know a lot of brides want all of the attention on them but I think that is just dumb. Just my opinion though. If your friend is a good enough friend to be in your wedding, she should be included, baby bump or not. I would have lved for one of my bridesmaids to be pregnant in my wedding.


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## Jess137

This isn't something recent but I still get pissed thinking about it. My SIL (21 yrs old) was dating a guy. He's married but lives with his mom and is "going" to get divorced. Also has 2 kids with his wife. So she came to me one day and finally admitted she was living with him and having sex with him. I had to give her "the talk" because DH and his 5 siblings were raised as super conservative Southern Baptists and were homeschooled. Therefore they only learned "abstinence". (Which did NOT work, as DH's 2 older brothers had both had kids with women they werent't married to, and DH and I have been together for 7 years and have been having sex for probably 6 of those years.) So back to my SIL - I told her she needed an OB/GYN and to get on birth control, and I gave her the number for my OB and some condoms. Two months later, I got a phone call. It was my SIL, saying she had just taken a test and she was pregnant. Hadn't told anyone yet, not even her boyfriend. Of course she called ME first. So that's my super long rant. Sorry for rambling!

Edit: She's 12 wks pregnant now.


----------



## Armywife84

Jess137 said:


> This isn't something recent but I still get pissed thinking about it. My SIL (21 yrs old) was dating a guy. He's married but lives with his mom and is "going" to get divorced. Also has 2 kids with his wife. So she came to me one day and finally admitted she was living with him and having sex with him. I had to give her "the talk" because DH and his 5 siblings were raised as super conservative Southern Baptists and were homeschooled. Therefore they only learned "abstinence". (Which did NOT work, as DH's 2 older brothers had both had kids with women they werent't married to, and DH and I have been together for 7 years and have been having sex for probably 6 of those years.) So back to my SIL - I told her she needed an OB/GYN and to get on birth control, and I gave her the number for my OB and some condoms. Two months later, I got a phone call. It was my SIL, saying she had just taken a test and she was pregnant. Hadn't told anyone yet, not even her boyfriend. Of course she called ME first. So that's my super long rant. Sorry for rambling!
> 
> Edit: She's 12 wks pregnant now.

What a naive idiot to get pregnant with an illegitimate child!! :growlmad: That would make me angry too.


----------



## Jess137

Armywife84 said:


> Jess137 said:
> 
> 
> This isn't something recent but I still get pissed thinking about it. My SIL (21 yrs old) was dating a guy. He's married but lives with his mom and is "going" to get divorced. Also has 2 kids with his wife. So she came to me one day and finally admitted she was living with him and having sex with him. I had to give her "the talk" because DH and his 5 siblings were raised as super conservative Southern Baptists and were homeschooled. Therefore they only learned "abstinence". (Which did NOT work, as DH's 2 older brothers had both had kids with women they werent't married to, and DH and I have been together for 7 years and have been having sex for probably 6 of those years.) So back to my SIL - I told her she needed an OB/GYN and to get on birth control, and I gave her the number for my OB and some condoms. Two months later, I got a phone call. It was my SIL, saying she had just taken a test and she was pregnant. Hadn't told anyone yet, not even her boyfriend. Of course she called ME first. So that's my super long rant. Sorry for rambling!
> 
> Edit: She's 12 wks pregnant now.
> 
> What a naive idiot to get pregnant with an illegitimate child!! :growlmad: That would make me angry too.Click to expand...

Yeah, unfortunately they were all very sheltered growing up, and honestly, none of them have a lot of common sense. DH included.


----------



## wonderstars

Yikes, I wouldn't even know what to say if that was my SIL Jess. I've come to the point where I just can't understand the negligence of some people. :nope:

I haven't vented in a long time. I took one month off of TTC and I think it did my mental health a world of good (even though I was anxious at the time). However, I'm now kicking myself for getting my hopes up about pregnancy with my first go of clomid. I know I'm probably going to have to go the IVF route due to my f'd up body but I still cling to that glimmer of hope.

Aargh. Maybe I should kick myself literally? I wonder if the pain would help....:dohh:


----------



## Armywife84

Please kick me too! Lately, I've been having conflicting thoughts if I really want to have children or not. Is this stress, anxiety, and depression worth it? Some former LTTCers I've talked to say it is, but then again that's easy for them to say because they're pregnant! Argh, my brain is so scrambled! 

More Rants:

1. Yet another holiday for children. Aren't there any damn holidays on the calendar that don't center around children or being a parent? :growlmad:

2. SIL (the one I hate with the new baby) called MIL whining about how her DH had to work today. Well since he's the only income, you shouldn't bitch. Oh yeah, and her parents support them as well. So excuse me, second income. 

3. Got an invite to my niece's 2nd birthday party...it's rather depressing. Thank god we're not going to make it as we'll be still settling into our new place. 

I don't do baby showers, baptisms, or birthday parties. I'm one of those outcasts that arrive to a child's birthday party, childless. Awkward!


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## BearsMummy

I don't have anything constuctive to say!

To say depression and anxiety ave kickind in again is an understatment.

I decided to have a break from clomid, this is my last cycle before back to the FS on 19th. It was sending me into a crazy mental psychotic fruitcake and I was even starting to get violent, which is no good as an ex self harmer. Luckily, I was of sound enough mind to realise it was the clomid and stopped taking it, and decided on a months break for sanitys sake. But I am still annylising my chart, which I promised not to do, so I hardly really taken a break have I?

So I have decided I am rehoming a dog from our local dogs home, but I am so paranoid that there is something defective about me, that they wont trust me with rehoming a dog either!!!

Someone, please slap me and help me out of this depression.


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## Lady H

Bears lets slap each other. I wanted to chill this month but I just can not switch my head off of ttc. I think about it every 10 mins, all day, every day. 

Sounds like you made a good move stopping Clomid. The Dog will be a great distraction and I would be lost with out my Cats. I'm sure you can keep it together long enough for them to give you a Dog! Xxx

Edit: your chart looks good....


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## BearsMummy

Thanks Lady H.

I have found the perfect little lady to rehome, she's a shih zhu, and I have to ring the dog home back for an interview and then a home inspection.

I have cat, but she's more of a mans cat and I'm a doggy person, but lately, she must have been picking up on my depression and anxiety as she keeps coming for cuddles!! She has never done that before.

There is no switching off from TTC. I took a break from here for about 2 weeks to see if that would help, but I was having withdrawel symptoms!! :haha:

I'm not so sure about my chart tbh, I'm 'almost' sure I o'd on cd15, but FF is saying cd18, my cycles have been mental since being on the clomid and this is my first cycle off the meds, so i'm not taking it too seriously, just incase its my body adjusting back to 'normal'.

My other worry is that if I do get referred to Oxford for IVF, if I was having a hard time on Clomid, how will I cope with all the meds for IVF?


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## Lady H

Aww Dog sounds cute, fx you are successful. Somehow you will cope with the meds if you go to IVF as you want this badly I'm sure. I think you are doing the right thing taking a break from meds for a bit, then reassess. Talk to your GP about the side effects you've had before deciding. Xxx


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## BearsMummy

I will, thank you so much!

I feel a bit better already, just getting all that off my chest!


----------



## uwa_amanda

BearsMummy said:


> Thanks Lady H.
> 
> I have found the perfect little lady to rehome, she's a shih zhu, and I have to ring the dog home back for an interview and then a home inspection.
> 
> I have cat, but she's more of a mans cat and I'm a doggy person, but lately, she must have been picking up on my depression and anxiety as she keeps coming for cuddles!! She has never done that before.
> 
> There is no switching off from TTC. I took a break from here for about 2 weeks to see if that would help, but I was having withdrawel symptoms!! :haha:
> 
> I'm not so sure about my chart tbh, I'm 'almost' sure I o'd on cd15, but FF is saying cd18, my cycles have been mental since being on the clomid and this is my first cycle off the meds, so i'm not taking it too seriously, just incase its my body adjusting back to 'normal'.
> 
> My other worry is that if I do get referred to Oxford for IVF, if I was having a hard time on Clomid, how will I cope with all the meds for IVF?

Animals do seem to know when something is not right with their owners/masters. I am a dog person and know that when I was growing up, if I felt sad, my dog would come sit next to me and put her head in my lap as if she were saying everything is going to be okay. I really want a dog now but have nowhere to put him/her until we get a bigger place.


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## wonderstars

I've got two shih tzus so I know they're therapeutic! :D

Bears, I've heard injectables don't have nearly the side effects clomid does, esp. not the mood side effects. I think a break from clomid is a great idea, seems like you really have a tap on your mood. 

The only things I have from clomid, thankfully, were hot flashes while taking it and bloating and ginormous boobs in the TWW. They can't be contained, I feel like wearing a stretch bandage! :dohh:


----------



## shiara

hi ladies... 
ok my rant... i have beeen soo much down lately,,two SIL (DH's brother's wives) announced their pregnancies on the same day..having tried for 1 month only...and one of them just got married in feb :(( the other SIL always make a comment that she always gets a positive at the drop of hat (2nd pregnancy) and she doesn't need any artificial medications to help concieve... 
i have been so much stressed out,,finally broke into a fever yesterday... im feeling so lost that why it couldn't be my turn??? LTTC is a hell of a job,isn't it??


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## Armywife84

See, I'm lucky enough not to be depressed lately. Much too stressed out and anxious over this move. No time for depression! I'm sure it will come floating back when we settle into our new place. :dohh:

Rants of the Day:

1. Argh, today is Day 11 and we should be having sex. But we're much too tired after loading the moving truck and driving half the day. DH also took a bath and I didn't even argue, as I have no energy to put up a fight. 

2. I wish MIL wouldn't show off pics of the baby on her FB. I deleted my FB for that very reason and have no desire to see the pictures. Stop fecking acting like this is show and tell!!! If anyone else in the room wished to view them, then they would make a FB or ask the bitch to picture message them. 

Argh, can't wait to get out of here!! No more having to hear about babies, fertility, nieces, nephews, etc.. I can't wait!


----------



## frustrated20

I'm new here, but I have a vent. My cousin updated his Facebook status to, does anyone want a 10 year old boy? I can't deal with him anymore. I have been trying for over 2 years so this made me very sad.


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## wonderstars

Armywife84 said:


> 1. Argh, today is Day 11 and we should be having sex. But we're much too tired after loading the moving truck and driving half the day. DH also took a bath and I didn't even argue, as I have no energy to put up a fight.
> 
> Argh, can't wait to get out of here!! No more having to hear about babies, fertility, nieces, nephews, etc.. I can't wait!

1. Turkey Baster method? :tease:

2. So excited for you and moving out! I can't imagine how much stress that's going to take off of you. :happydance:

frustrated, that kind of stuff always irks me. Definitely worth a vent.


----------



## Armywife84

wonderstars said:


> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> 1. Argh, today is Day 11 and we should be having sex. But we're much too tired after loading the moving truck and driving half the day. DH also took a bath and I didn't even argue, as I have no energy to put up a fight.
> 
> Argh, can't wait to get out of here!! No more having to hear about babies, fertility, nieces, nephews, etc.. I can't wait!
> 
> 1. Turkey Baster method? :tease:
> 
> 2. So excited for you and moving out! I can't imagine how much stress that's going to take off of you. :happydance:
> 
> frustrated, that kind of stuff always irks me. Definitely worth a vent.Click to expand...


Turkey Baster method :haha:. Knowing me, I'd probably spill sperm all over the place or forget to sterilize the bowl. :dohh:

Relocating is incredibly stressful, I'll be so glad when it's over. We're packing the last little bit and tomorrow's moving day. The only gripe I have is that we have to haul it up 3 flights of stairs. We're stuck in a small apartment as everywhere else (rental houses included) is full from soldiers coming back from deployments. :wacko:


----------



## frustrated20

I guess new people aren't welcome to this website!


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## wonderstars

NM


----------



## trying hard

Hi Ladies. Too many BFP announcements on my normal thread to bring up my doom and gloom attitude right now. So my OH came home to tell me tonight that this stupid slapper cow he used to work with is now 7 weeks pregnant after having unprotected sex once to a guy that told her that he didn't want to hang out with her anymore if she wasn't going to put out. ONE TIME!!!! 

I HATE TTC!!! I just wish we could afford IVF right now!


----------



## BearsMummy

I have logged into fb this morning and seen 3, yes 3 seperate people on my facebook who had their 20 week scan today!! 

I am also shitting myself as I have my FS appointment in 8 days, 1 hour and 25 mins. 

And the bloody dog home, still hasn't rung me back.


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## wonderstars

Dammit, I want some of what those women are drinking.

I hear you on affording IVF trying hard. They throw that at everyone as the only solution but it costs so so so much. 

Hope your evenings are going well ladies! 

Edit: Motherf*cker, 8DPO and I'm spotting. Clomid didn't do a damn thing. Aargh. :growlmad: I was so happy and hopeful when I posted earlier this evening.


----------



## trying hard

bears mummy... I now HATE FB there are just too many pictures of bumps and scans and babies for my liking, most of the time when I go on now I go straight to my family and close friend section it is just easier.

Wonderstars That sucks!!! Clomid made my cycles heaps better (longer) you may just need a slightly higher dose or some progesterone. Were you monitored at all?

If not maybe next month get your hands on some progesterone cream and a b6 complex.


We just did an IUI but after 5 months of clomid crazies I needed to just step back a little before I lost my mind. In a couple months we will try another 2 IUIs and then we will need to stop treatment until we can afford IVF. Our insurance doesn't cover infertility and we aren't covered under the public system so it will be super expensive :(


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## wonderstars

Ugh, I hate that IVF isn't covered, trying hard. Crossing my fingers that the IUIs do it for ya. Are they going to try you on injectibles instead of clomid?

I'm unmonitored unfortunately I have two more months of 50mg clomid but with being unmonitored I don't want to bump it to 100mg. I should have my fertility specialist appt in Jul/Aug so hopefully we'll be able to cross clomid off the list and head right into injectables+IUI.

Vent:

Highschool kids on the bus are annoying as hell.


----------



## wannabeprego

....


----------



## wannabeprego

F**K it.. I give up on LTTC for now.. it sucks and infertility has won.. i am just going to work and make money and spend it on all of the bull shi* i want.. and be obsessed with my career and being able to sleep in on the weekends and come and go as i please.. Party and enjoy being baby free..... Maybe in a few years i will revisit if but for now.. i just give up.. i am going to enjoy life, be selfish and do whatever the hell i dam well please.. screw having a kid..


I'm just over it... i am done... there is nothing left to give.. no more hope left..


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## wonderstars

I have no magical words for you wannabe. Just a lot of hugs. Sounds like you need a long break for your body and mind. :( 

:hugs:

I must say, you are one funny lady though. I couldn't stop laughing when I read this. :haha:


wannabeprego said:


> OMG.. look at my baby..it moved it's leg... it took a sh**...it winked at me...blah blah blah...


----------



## eternaldream

I can't stand fb anymore. Everyone bragging about getting pregnant and all the cute little things their kids do. It especially makes me upset when its people who don't even deserve to have kids.


----------



## BearsMummy

wannabeprego said:


> F**K it.. I give up on LTTC for now.. it sucks and infertility has won.. i am just going to work and make money and spend it on all of the bull shi* i want.. and be obsessed with my career and being able to sleep in on the weekends and come and go as i please.. Party and enjoy being baby free..... Maybe in a few years i will revisit if but for now.. i just give up.. i am going to enjoy life, be selfish and do whatever the hell i dam well please.. screw having a kid..
> 
> 
> I'm just over it... i am done... there is nothing left to give.. no more hope left..

I said this exact same thing to my OH a few days ago!!

We'll have money, a nice car, nice things, all the newest gadgets and I'll turn into a mad dog woman.

It still hasn't made me feel any better though. :dohh:

And, it's friday 13th, af is due any time now, and I'm sure she's going to rear her ugly red head today :growlmad:


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## StorkStalker

AARRGHHHHH!!! 

4 PG announcements in 2 days!! 3 births.. 2 1st bdays...

Almost 4.5 yr mark...

Friday 13th...

I thought I was coping better.. I am not. 

:wacko:


----------



## wannabemummyb

:hug: to the ladies having a tough time! I am finding myself getting increasingly dispondent about everything atm. We have loads of other crap non ttc related, but it is making ttc even more difficult because df is stressed to the limit and i am starting to get depressed again, so neither of us are feeling sexy.

I was made to sit through an hour long home video of when my step son was a baby last weekend, i was already really down and it nearly pushed me over the edge! Mil2b realised what she had done but couldn't really stop it.

My friend found out the gender of her baby today, i am so happy for her but it meant everyone was talking about what gender they would what. I joined in for a bit and then someone made a comment and i flipped a bit and said "to be honest, i wouldn't care if i had a boy or a girl, right now a f***** baby would be nice! Right now i don't know if i will EVER have one!" damn i am going to regret that next week! I should mention, this all happened at work! Oh well my cards are totally on the table now!

I give up!


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## wonderstars

I think everyone's cards eventually come out on the table, it's just too much to handle sometimes. I told my coworker (we share an office) about it all because if I'm in a bad mood she'll know why. 

Can we blame Friday the 13th for all this.......

Well, I guess Clomid cut down my spotting by a few days but the witch still showed up. I'm tempted to stop trying until my FS appt in July/August. Sigh.


----------



## wannabemummyb

Only if it's friday the 13th every day ;)


----------



## BearsMummy

I was a miserable bitch yesterday....

My day went from bad to worse, the only good thing was af didnt show, but is that a good thing? Because now I have my hopes up!:dohh:

I had really bad pains yesterday, so OH made me a hot water bottle for my back and the bloody thing exploded all over me. Luckily I managed to jump up and strip my pyjamas off quckly before I got too burned, only to realise all the lights in my house were on and my blinds were not pulled, so all my neighbours had a fantastic view of my jumping around naked!:blush:

On the upside, I have my first accupuncture session booked for 1st May.


----------



## Just_married

My vent isn't even ttc related, is that allowed? It's about the nhs. I know some wards are amazing etc, but my dads ill & I've been tracking how he's been dealt with and when I called hospital to see if there was any change in his condition I was ranted at by the staff nurse saying someone had already phoned about him (3 hours before). They made assumptions about a condition he has and ignored is 4 separate times when we explained his symptoms weren't normal for him which meant he has been untreated & undiagnosed. When I explained that I wasn't trying to cause bother but instead of only being allowed to see my dad one hour a day at night could my mum please come up in afternoon and spend some time with him, you'd think I asked for her right eyeball, she went off on one saying how busy they were and had no time to deal with us. When I suggested she might even be able to help THEM look after him she shouted "you want to talk to the sister?!" I said yes, on comes the calmest nurse ever saying "I don't have any problem with your mum visiting in the afternoon, come in and I will explain everything that's happening".

Staff nurse social skills FAIL
Why talk to someone like that when you know they are already stressed out their minds over their dads health. No need for it. Politeness and gentleness cost nothing

This on top of cycle 14, soy gIving me crazy mood swings, big ov pains & my 16yr old DD giving it big hormones arguing with anything and everything I say. Ttc is actually last thing on my mind. 

Edit: I'm typing this whilst listening to DH playing guitar/singing in pub. Bar manager just came up and said hrs sorry to hear bout my dad. I then gave him 10 minute rant as above POOR GUY. he's sorry he asked now oops!


----------



## wonderstars

Any venting is allowed! :)

My vent:

Playing "guess baby's due date" on Facebook? Are you f'ing kidding me?! Really?! Do you really need to update your status every day with the majority guess?

My period came. My first round of Clomid failed. I'm just sad now. :cry:


----------



## trying hard

So sorry wonderstars :(
If it helps, the clomid works better on your second round and even more so third round. All of my stats (oestrogen levels, follicle size, progesterone levels etc) got better and better as the cycles went on. Until round 5 but that is a rant for another day.
My point is try to stay positive, you will get there. :dust:

And YES, FB sucks!!


----------



## wonderstars

It's funny, so many of us have complained about FB but we're all still on it. We obviously love torturing ourselves, lol! :dohh:


----------



## eternaldream

I can't stand fb anymore. All the pregnancy announcements and all the moms posting every few minutes every stinking thing there kid did. Ugh. 

And does the show 16 and pregnant irritate the crap out of anyone else?


----------



## wannabemummyb

I agree with you wonderstar, why do we do it to ourselves?! We all know pg announcements are just awful but recently i have had to be faced with two "joke" pg announcements; one was an april fools, the other was last night! Apparently the guy was "fraped" and this person had put on there "i'm going to be a dad! So excited". I can not tell you how much this pissed me off! 

Slightly vent related; i have found myself getting increasingly depressed about this whole situation at the moment. It just doesn't feel like we are ever going to get pg!


----------



## Just_married

I have another rant. My hubby and are are shopping, he gets a random mms of an ultrasound sent to him from unknown number. Turns out it was from a ex friend who was a complete B to him 18 mOnths ago and did everything he could to hurt him after he didn't take this guys relationship advice (ie he shouldn't be marrying me) so at that time my hubby deleted his number telling him never to contact him again.


----------



## Armywife84

Bear's Mummy- :rofl: Surely you made some guy's night strutting around in your nudie pants! I do hope the shits have gone, it tends to put me in a foul mood as well. 

Wannabeprego- What a tacky cow boasting about winning a breast pump! I agree with trying to assure yourself that you can be happy as a childless woman. I've been trying to tell myself that on a daily basis hoping I will soon believe that. 

So sorry to hear about a failed Clomid cycle Wonderstars. :hugs:

My Rants (so sorry it's going to be quite long):

1. On the first day I found roach exoskeletons in our apartment!!! :sick::sick: I cleaned them trying to refrain from gagging. The next morning a little roach was crawling up the wall in our bedroom! I immediately marched down to the office and told the manager I can't live in such filthy conditions and that she needs to get pest control in ASAP. Thank goodness he came Monday and I haven't seen one since. Keep your fingers crossed! 

The pest control man also felt the need to tell me there was a heavily pregnant cow on the 2nd floor. :confused: WTF do I care? 

2. DH dragged me to a day long meetings with other soldiers' wives and children. There were several women with babies of course and pregnant cows. :growlmad: Needless to say I didn't make friends with any of the women because they were huddled in groups sharing stories about their children. Seriously, do you women not have a life or career? 

Also the people conducting the meetings kept going on and on about children. Come off it already, not all Army wives are toting around 2+ children. 

After we left, I came home and cried. I hadn't really been exposed to babies in a while and that was overkill for me. 

3. DH wants to drag me to some family oriented festival this evening. I keep telling him I don't wish to attend family events because they're for children!! It's like going to a child's birthday party when you don't have a child to socialize with the birthday boy/girl. Utterly awkward. 

4. My depression has coming floating back. Wonderful.


----------



## wonderstars

:hugs: Armywife. First, ewww to the roachs. Eww eww eww. Second off, don't let DH drag you to anymore events, lol. He has horrible instincts! :dohh:

Hope everything improves. Make sure you're talking to someone if your depression is creeping up. You have a lot on your plate, it's so easy to get overwhelmed.

:hugs:


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## babypink2010

I just hate waiting!!!!

For the next appointment, to find the right course for action, waiting the the next test,,,

WAITING to get put on the Waiting list for IVF or IUI,,, 

Nightmare!!!

And they say patience is a virtue,,,, its s virtue i don't hold unfortunately :-(


----------



## Armywife84

Hehehe, I have 0 patience as well babypink2010! 

While we live in a flat, and I've been hearing this music all Friday, Saturday night, and this morning. With a little recon, I finally decided it was next door's music. I went to knock on her door only to find her with a small baby bump and a 3 yr old. It ended up being her DH's surround sound. Surely, you people are deaf over there!!!! :ignore:

There's a pregnant one next to me and another below me! Fecking breeders. :growlmad::growlmad:


----------



## Just_married

babypink2010 said:


> I just hate waiting!!!!
> 
> For the next appointment, to find the right course for action, waiting the the next test,,,
> 
> WAITING to get put on the Waiting list for IVF or IUI,,,
> 
> Nightmare!!!
> 
> And they say patience is a virtue,,,, its s virtue i don't hold unfortunately :-(

I hate waiting too, we waited 4 months to see a 'specialist NURSE', handed in all samples now told to wait 3 months to actually see a doc. Even then, I'm 'too old' for any treatment on nhs (38 cut off) so I'm waiting for a big rejection, your silver lining is that you qualify. I really hope it's worth the wait for you guys & whatever treTment you ate given works perfectly. Xxx


----------



## babypink2010

Thanks, I mean its the whole nhs really, what do i pay my ni for?

But we all live in the hope that the wait will be worth it,,, And it will be,,, 

I hate work sometimes, folk walking round the office with a bump,,, sometimes, i wonder how we cope, But it does make us stronger,

I truly believe we are better women for going through this who process,,,,,

IVF is not the only option, just the route we are taken as hubby has low sa,, theres always clomid hg etc 


x


----------



## Just_married

babypink2010 said:


> Thanks, I mean its the whole nhs really, what do i pay my ni for?
> 
> But we all live in the hope that the wait will be worth it,,, And it will be,,,
> 
> I hate work sometimes, folk walking round the office with a bump,,, sometimes, i wonder how we cope, But it does make us stronger,
> 
> I truly believe we are better women for going through this who process,,,,,
> 
> IVF is not the only option, just the route we are taken as hubby has low sa,, theres always clomid hg etc
> 
> 
> x

Well I really hope it works! X


----------



## sam79

So why does it seem like I'm the only one who can't fall pregnant!!! 
Everyone I know seems to be pregnant (Both my SIL's, cousins, friends, colleagues and the list goes on). Not only that but I've been trying for over a year (have also done 4 cycles using FSH injections and still no luck), and they just seem to look at their DH and get a :bfp:!! :cry: :cry:
I know many of you probably have bigger issues but I just really needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening.

Baby dust to you all 
:dust:


----------



## Armywife84

I forgot about this one...

As were lugging the furniture into our flat, FIL looks out the window and makes the comment, "What a nice play area, that would be great if you had children". Really???? I couldn't believe this is coming from FIL, because I've been dealing with MIL's comments for weeks. Trying not to say something snarky, I replied with.."Maybe one day" and walked out the door. 

You would think after me being there for 3 weeks they would have learned by now, but noooooo!!! 

I'm not looking forward to going back to visit them in June because all I'm going to hear about is the new baby's baptism that also takes place that month. Don't care, not going.


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## shiara

@ armywife..thats soo annoying,,all that IL's comments... this ttc is a tough job already,,why do people help to make it even more tougher...
i have a 2 month pregnant SIL at my home wid a 2yr boy,,and all she do is moaning around abt pregnancy symptoms, vommitting,,sickness etc...like i said her to get pregnant... :growlmad:
and she always make a point that childless ppl are so lucky to have a relaxing life...aaawww....i hate her :grr:


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## uwa_amanda

shiara said:


> @ armywife..thats soo annoying,,all that IL's comments... this ttc is a tough job already,,why do people help to make it even more tougher...
> i have a 2 month pregnant SIL at my home wid a 2yr boy,,and all she do is moaning around abt pregnancy symptoms, vommitting,,sickness etc...like i said her to get pregnant... :growlmad:
> and she always make a point that childless ppl are so lucky to have a relaxing life...aaawww....i hate her :grr:

I would have probably told her that I'd swap places with her in a quick minute.


----------



## eternaldream

Hi ladies. I hope baby dust is falling on all of you. It's certainly not on me. Just went to the dr today for end of month check up after doing a round of clomid 150, and it turns out I didn't even ovulate. I guess the mystery drug I was on when I did the pcos pregnancy study at my dr's wasn't clomid. So I'm not sure what med my dr will try next. I wish they co
uld just tell me what med I was on during the study, cus that made me ovulate. So another month down the drain. Did my crying, now I'm just gonna curl up in bed.


----------



## Armywife84

shiara said:


> @ armywife..thats soo annoying,,all that IL's comments... this ttc is a tough job already,,why do people help to make it even more tougher...
> i have a 2 month pregnant SIL at my home wid a 2yr boy,,and all she do is moaning around abt pregnancy symptoms, vommitting,,sickness etc...like i said her to get pregnant... :growlmad:
> and she always make a point that childless ppl are so lucky to have a relaxing life...aaawww....i hate her :grr:

No kidding!!! Idk how you're not wanting to strangle your SIL??? :shrug: Just the sight of her bump would have me in tears (on a bad day). Surely, you have her locked away in some room? :haha::haha:

So sorry eternal dream, hope the doc gets his act together soon! Time happens to be precious and something LTTCers just don't have enough of. 

I don't really have a rant other than we're broke until next Monday...moving really emptied our pockets. It also doesn't help that AF is due Sat and my face is already broke out. I know this month was another bust. :cry::cry: It's just so exhausting failing month after month.


----------



## NavyWife84

So, this probably shouldn't be a vent, but it is...
I just had my last test done last week...the verdict is that my reproductive system is "textbook perfect". I should be really excited about this, but I just feel defeated. I have gone through months of tests and doctors making guesses about what is wrong...endometriosis, andometriosis, PCOS, blocked tubes, polyps on my uterus...are all things I have been told and have cried over believing them to be true until they do a new test to prove that theory wrong. All to find out that there is nothing wrong and I am "unexplained". I guess I am just frustrated. I feel that if I knew what the problem was, I could have either fixed it or gone on with my life knowing I could never have children...not so much. Oh well. I really do need to appreciate that I am "healthy". Then, the doctor told me that the IUIs I am doing aren't really that effective and they are just the same as intercourse...so why the hell am I paying $150 a month to have them done? WTH?! Ugh. 

And now I have yet another UTI...I am very prone to them and have been told by doctors that I need to urinate and clean up immediately after BD...well that really isn't possible if I want to sit with my legs up, etc. Lately I haven't even been proping myself up but still just laying in bed...Unfortunately, that means a UTI every other month or so. So, I've been handed clinical depression for the past decade, infertility, and chronic UTIs...am I throwing myself a big enough pity party right now? Sorry, I am just really frustrated.
P.S. This Clomid is making me have crazy hot flashes at least every half hour! They are insane! My students watch me shiver one minute (my classroom is very cold because it is one of the only rooms in the school whose air vent works so I am pumping for the entire school) and then strip off all of my clothes the next. I get all flush and lose what I am saying. They probably think I am crazy.:haha: Along with that though, I get crazy mood swings. This month has been better, but last month I really hated myself because I was a real b*tch and couldn't hold my temper...not good with a classroom full of 5 and 6 year olds!


----------



## NavyWife84

Armywife84 said:


> I forgot about this one...
> 
> As were lugging the furniture into our flat, FIL looks out the window and makes the comment, "What a nice play area, that would be great if you had children". Really???? I couldn't believe this is coming from FIL, because I've been dealing with MIL's comments for weeks. Trying not to say something snarky, I replied with.."Maybe one day" and walked out the door.

OMG...I would have punched FIL in the face...okay maybe not...I would have wanted to, but I would have made a sly remark, like "yeah, it would be nice if I wasn't going through this infertility."


----------



## NavyWife84

shiara said:


> @ armywife..thats soo annoying,,all that IL's comments... this ttc is a tough job already,,why do people help to make it even more tougher...
> i have a 2 month pregnant SIL at my home wid a 2yr boy,,and all she do is moaning around abt pregnancy symptoms, vommitting,,sickness etc...like i said her to get pregnant... :growlmad:
> and she always make a point that childless ppl are so lucky to have a relaxing life...aaawww....i hate her :grr:

I can't stand brag-plainers. She is obviously bragging about being pregnant (whether she realized it or not) but complaining about it. Why complain about something so wonderful? I had a friend once (no longer a friend of mine) who used to complain to me all the time that her 14 day honeymoon in Europe was so expensive, blah, blah, blah. I didn't go on a honeymoon because I couldn't afford one, and she knows that. Her husband makes more than my husband and I combined and she knows that. Yet, she had the audacity to complain to me about money...I could go on, but I won't.


----------



## eternaldream

Navy wife: It's okay to have a pity party. We're going through some stuff. We all deserve a pity party. I hope things get better for you soon.

So (drum roll please) my drug addict/criminal sil is pregnant with her 4th child! She doesn't even take care of the other ones. Each child was born with high levels of several different drugs in their system. And their nutrition is horrible. When they were babies she fed them soda in bottles and big macs. Now the 2 year old and 5 year old both weigh over 100 pounds. It's amazing how scum like that can have kids but we can't.


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## Armywife84

Navywife- I'll bring the booze to the pity party :drunk:! You have every right to feel frustrated and upset, your final verdict is unexplained! There's no reason holding you back from conceiving. Have you thought about getting a second opinion? You have had the lap with hystero, right? 

As far as IUIs go, I've read one should give it 3 shots then move on to IVF. :shrug: 

Eternal- How does your SIL manage to still have custody of her children?!! Someone needs to report her to Social Services!!! :growlmad::growlmad:


----------



## sam79

eternaldream said:


> Navy wife: It's okay to have a pity party. We're going through some stuff. We all deserve a pity party. I hope things get better for you soon.
> 
> So (drum roll please) my drug addict/criminal sil is pregnant with her 4th child! She doesn't even take care of the other ones. Each child was born with high levels of several different drugs in their system. And their nutrition is horrible. When they were babies she fed them soda in bottles and big macs. Now the 2 year old and 5 year old both weigh over 100 pounds. It's amazing how scum like that can have kids but we can't.


Eteternaldream, I know exactly how you feel. I'm a teacher and constantly seeing single mothers of multiple children (5,6,7) on welfare who get knocked up by some random guy. They live off the government, smoke throughout their entire pregnancy, can't take care of the children they currently have and have more. :growlmad: It makes be so miserable that people like that can have children so easily and my dh and I are struggling to have one. :cry: At least you know that when you are finally blessed with a baby your child will be loved and properly cared for.


----------



## wonderstars

We must all be on the same cycle, we're all on to vent this week!

Navywife - all of that running around and different diagnoses and they end up with "unexplained"??? Wow, do they not realize how hard that is on an infertile woman? If your doc was really tactful he wouldn't have mentioned that the IUIs were a waste "thanks for your money but it wasn't doing anything". :dohh:

Armywife - your in-laws make mine look awesome, lol. Wow, they need to get over these silly comments. I don't get how people think hinting at it every week is going to change things. Dumb dumb dumb.

Eternaldream - welcome to our venting arena. :flower: I echo Army, how in the world does she still have custody?! I feel so badly for those kids. :nope:

Ventage:
Well, round 2 of clomid. I changed it from the prescribed CD5-9 to CD3-7. Hot flashes hit harder this time, I'm actually taking off my cardigan at work. That NEVER happens, even my coworker noticed! The headaches have been brutal too. I don't get it but I'm spotting occasionally before ovulation now and that never happened before.

I give up for now. If it doesn't happen this cycle I'm waiting until my fertility appt in July/Aug. Work is SO stressful right now that I am just so run down physically and mentally. I want to leave but we're already down one nurse and I couldn't imagine leaving my coworker alone until another two are hired. Sigh.


----------



## NavyWife84

Armywife84 said:


> Navywife- I'll bring the booze to the pity party :drunk:! You have every right to feel frustrated and upset, your final verdict is unexplained! There's no reason holding you back from conceiving. Have you thought about getting a second opinion? You have had the lap with hystero, right?
> 
> As far as IUIs go, I've read one should give it 3 shots then move on to IVF. :shrug:
> 
> Eternal- How does your SIL manage to still have custody of her children?!! Someone needs to report her to Social Services!!! :growlmad::growlmad:

Can't write much because I'm on my phone...they won't do a lap because the 2 hsgs and the saline sono turned out to look good. They said it isn't worth the scarring because they don't think anything is wrong. I am getting on insurance through my job so that I can go to shady grove. I won't have the insurance until july so I am going to keep up with the clomid and iuis until then.


----------



## eternaldream

Armywife: the sad thing is social services is involved, but they don't do anything. 

Oh and I want an invite to that pity party.


----------



## Just_married

Armywife can I come to the pity party too? My 1st anniversary this weekend, booked a romantic cottage and everything only to find af is due on my anniversary. I already know I'm out, pms pulsing through every thought, bfn this morn. So that will Mark a yr of trying and not even a sniff of a bfp. I know a year isn't a lot for some of you & I take m hat off to those of you who are still positive and been on this train for years, you are flipping amazing! But honestly, if I see one comment anywhere on bnb whining about being trying for 2/3 months and how hard it is every month poor me I think they will be sorry they posted lol.


----------



## Armywife84

Everyone's invited to the pity party!!

Wonderstars- Surely, that's a good sign?? I'm so glad I don't have to get on Clomid, I hear so many horror stories. 

Navywife84- IDK, my tubes were open and I decided to the lap with hyster because the doctor said it was required before an IVF. Then that's when they found endo and I have no symptoms for it at all. Hopefully they're not pulling you all over the place and one of those IUIs works. 

Eternal Dream- Mmm, I wonder why don't they yank the children from her. Perhaps, they're waiting for hard evidence of neglect. Although feeding them what she does says neglect to me!! 


JustMarried- Don't worry about it. Over 35 and past the 6 months of TTC, you're LTTC. So really it feels more like 2 years. You have every right to moan about LTTC as everyone else on here.

Tell those whiny TTCers off! :haha::haha: They need to know their 2-3 months is nothing compared to our longest LTTC memeber for 17 years!!

MEH, RANTS:

Argh, I feel bloated and ugly due to the acne that has sprouted. An indicator that AF is due any day now :growlmad:. 

Not baby related: Our living room carpet has this awful smell. It's not pet urine, and a musty smell would have already disappeared since we've had the windows open...I want to say mildew? Smells like a old lady's home minus the cat piss. What really gets me mad is that is was supposedly already professionally cleaned but by the smell of it, I beg to differ. I wonder if I should have it tested for mildew before I go forking over money for cleaning services that may or may not get rid of the stench.


----------



## Armywife84

Rants:

First off, feck AF :finger:.

Next, I'm going to strangle the living shit out of my DH if he drinks any more beer (or buys any), takes a hot bath, and is on his laptop without his laptop cushion underneath. Seriously, we've been over this sooo many times before what's expected of him. It should literally be etched in his brain. :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:


----------



## NavyWife84

Ugh...armywife, I hate when dh doesn't cooperate! Its like we go through so much crap and they are basically along for the ride. I know my dh gets upset about our if and it does get to him, but nothing like what I feel.

My rant:
I got my +OPK last night, which means I should have had my iui this morning. But no, for the third month in a row my clinic is closed when I need them. I am ready to scream. Not to mention that we have been bding every night for a week and a half but didn't Friday night because we were both exhausted. So we didn't bd the day before and I can't have my iui the day after. We did bd last night but I feel like it isn't enough. We tried to bd this morning before he wnet to work to give it a full 24 hours before our iui but no such luck. Dh NEVER has trouble but he did this morning. We are going to bd when he gets home from work but I'm afraid his sperm count will be too low tomorrow for the iui. But I don't want to risk not bding tonight. I feel like there is something beyond our power saying that we aren't going to have kids. Its hard to explain but I mean, 3 months in a row of the clinic being closed and then dh having trouble this morning...give me a break! 

I just feel defeated once again. Like nothing is going to work. I will be on new insurance in july so that our ivf will be covered, but I am feeling so doubtful that it will even work. We get three covered but if they don't work we are on our own. I'm losing all hope of ever becoming a mommy :(


----------



## Just_married

So....af came on our 1st anniversary. 

Now into 2nd year of trying & fs to look forward to next week where I'll be told results of our tests and also reminded thT I'm too old for any treatment on nhs. 

Any suggestions?


----------



## Armywife84

Just_married said:


> So....af came on our 1st anniversary.
> 
> Now into 2nd year of trying & fs to look forward to next week where I'll be told results of our tests and also reminded thT I'm too old for any treatment on nhs.
> 
> Any suggestions?

Even though I'm totally jealous of NHS providing some assistance with IF, I think it's such garb that they have a cut off age. What is it, 35? You can have children up until 45 so that's when the cut off should be, really. :growlmad:


----------



## wonderstars

Holy crap, they don't provide help beyond 35?! Have they not seen the recent trend of women having kids later? Crikey.

Well, seems like I'm destined to be the nurse caring for all the preggo patients. It's really testing my fortitude. Its getting harder every week but I can't leave the program short two nurses, I would feel so badly.

I'm goimg to whine about being very crampy today, I'm thinking we better BD today!


----------



## velo

OK normally I would try to be positive but I'm having a rough day. Probably mostly worn out from the extra work I am trying to do to make more money to pay for TTC (ha and I thought it would be free and easy). 

Too many triggers (ie pregnancies) everywhere. I get especially upset at the "baby hogs", ie ones that are pregnant with more than 2. (sorry to anyone LTTTC their 3rd or more, my own beliefs on overpopulation, and the fact they hey why do people get to have thirds etc. before I get to have my first? Yes selfish)

And someone who is pregnant that complains about how the baby was conceived (ie it wasn't fantastic mind-blowing sex). Oh boohoo. 

This is older but while I'm venting... when I went to my first RE appt 6 weeks(?) ago or so, to the big city 4 hours away... I get the bad news that she thinks my chances aren't great (my FSH is over 10, and she did a vaginal u/s and found my AFC is only 7) and we drive away from the appt and over a bridge. The bridge is completely plastered on every light post with blue and pink signs reading "babies". Is the universal cruel or what? When I finally noticed the small print it wasn't really about baby humans but some baby fish show at the aquarium but enh.

Right now I am trying tcm and acupuncture. I'm hoping(!) it will work on its own but if not will improve my egg quality and quantity for IVF. I can hardly afford the tcm treatments, much less IVF, hence the extra work see above. 

Where I work IVF meds are covered by benefits but I'm a temp. With the financial situation it looks unlikely I'll get a real job with the benefits but it would sure be nice.

Getting discouraged I know I have not been trying the TCM for long but I was hoping to at least maybe see some improvement in my charting, it seems as I get older in the journey it looks more and more random (so probably low progesterone)

Wishing I had some real life girlfriends to vent to. I feel isolated where we live and the only family either my dh or I have anywhere near us is not speaking to us. (SIL) JOY. I'm sure the stress from that fallout on both of us has not helped any in the ttc process.


----------



## wonderstars

:hugs: velo. 

It is cruel that so many women can get pregnant for free and with ease. I always knew children would cost money but just to conceive?! Ugh. 

At the very least, acupuncture should help with the stress of this all. :thumbup:


----------



## BearsMummy

I've had a real, up and down week.

UPSIDE
First of all, I had my bloods done for the referral for IVF, glad thats done and out the way!
Had my first acupunture appointment, and actually felt really good afterwards!
I have managed to stick to SMEP this month, don't actually know why I'm bothering, but took 100mg of Clomid this cycle, so hoping that it does something.
I had a positive OPK, and I have defo O'd according to FF, which normally messes me around while I've been on Clomid. I am now 3dpo.

DOWNSIDE
Ovulation was pretty awful, I felt so swollen and sore and had trouble going to toilet (number1) for 2 days.
On the day of ovulation, I visited my brother and SIL (time to forgive and forget) and because I would'nt allow my nephew to play games on my phone, he punched me really really hard in the stomach, I had tears in my eyes and felt sick with the pain, SIL just laughed, I felt like punching her straight in the face. I am now thinking all sorts of crap, if I don't get my bfp this cycle, will it be because I was punched, what if he has damaged the egg? I know, I know, all crap, but you can't help thinking these things. I now hold no hope whatsoever for my last clomid cycle, and everything was going so well.


----------



## Armywife84

Bear's Mummy, I do hope you're ok!!! :shock::shock: Also hope your nephew was properly disciplined, and I'm not talking just a slap on the hand.

My Rant: 

I want to know where smug pregnant women get off on acting like beeyatchs? I suppose because their body is in that state they feel some sort of entitlement to behave in a rude manner with 0 consequences.

For example, I was talking to this salesman about a printer I just bought and how it wouldn't configure with my Macbook. He asked what model and I told him the name..(he was the helping me figure out which one would suit my needs). This tired, grubby looking pregnant sales cow chimes in, "That's specific". I ignored her and went on about my conversation. 

Bitch, no one was talking to you!!! So piss off!:growlmad::growlmad:


----------



## MissAnnabelle

Here's my venting contribution:

My gf on facebook messaged me on Jan 30 to say that she went off of her birth control and asked me if we were trying. I had told her - yes, we have been since Feb. 2011, so don't get dissapointed if it doesn't happen right away..yady yada. Either way, today she posted her 'I'm now pregnant enough to announce it on fb offically' post today. I completely lost it. I think it was bc I got af today and was sitting in my office (also my future nursery room) making my appointment for pre-isci/ivf testing and then decided to check my fb. Officially - everyone I know now has kids without trying - while trying not to - or is pregnant. Ugh


----------



## zanDark

My SIL came upstairs for a visit the other day and thought it would be awesome to ask me how my never ending TTC is going....after I told her that I've given up on IUI's and am planning to go straight to IVF in September, she thought she'd offer me some advice...again..

I sat and watched her for 10 minutes as she told me how she visualized the sperm swimming blah blah blah reached the egg blah blah blah blah blah implanted blah blah blah BFP YAY! After she finished her little "OMG THIS IS SO HELPFUL" routine I literally laughed at her for a good couple of minutes and told her that "erm yeah...I've pretty much done that and everything else you can possibly think off in the TWO YEARS I've been trying to get pregnant...I'm glad it helped you get pregnant in your FIRST MONTH trying" :dohh: 

seriously? she goes on and on about how difficult it is having two kids when her mother is raising them since she's at work all the time...and all I get is stupid advice from people who have no idea what TTC for two years is like :cry:


----------



## MissAnnabelle

zanDark said:


> My SIL came upstairs for a visit the other day and thought it would be awesome to ask me how my never ending TTC is going....after I told her that I've given up on IUI's and am planning to go straight to IVF in September, she thought she'd offer me some advice...again..
> 
> I sat and watched her for 10 minutes as she told me how she visualized the sperm swimming blah blah blah reached the egg blah blah blah blah blah implanted blah blah blah BFP YAY! After she finished her little "OMG THIS IS SO HELPFUL" routine I literally laughed at her for a good couple of minutes and told her that "erm yeah...I've pretty much done that and everything else you can possibly think off in the TWO YEARS I've been trying to get pregnant...I'm glad it helped you get pregnant in your FIRST MONTH trying" :dohh:
> 
> seriously? she goes on and on about how difficult it is having two kids when her mother is raising them since she's at work all the time...and all I get is stupid advice from people who have no idea what TTC for two years is like :cry:

:dohh: Boy, she sounds like a real doozey. At least I don't have any of those - in my immediate family anyways...


----------



## zanDark

You have no idea lol besides the numerous times she's told me that she saw a dream telling her I was pregnant....she also found it appropriate to tell me that she thinks I have a "pregnant glow" and her friend asked if I was expecting :dohh: I haven't decided if she does it on purpose or if she's just stupid :shrug:


I also want to vent about a previously enjoyable and fun part of the forum that appears to have transformed itself into a new baby club. It was fun while it lasted :nope:


----------



## BearsMummy

Armywife84 said:


> Bear's Mummy, I do hope you're ok!!! :shock::shock: Also hope your nephew was properly disciplined, and I'm not talking just a slap on the hand.

Army: Nope, she laughed, told me I was a pussy and I was to smack him! It's not my place to punish HER child, she was there, she saw< if you want the privilage of being a mother, you have to take the good with he bad, and do the job properly!!

I'm still sore, but don't want to go to the docs. Hopefully it will go off in a few days.


----------



## Armywife84

zanDark said:


> You have no idea lol besides the numerous times she's told me that she saw a dream telling her I was pregnant....she also found it appropriate to tell me that she thinks I have a "pregnant glow" and her friend asked if I was expecting :dohh: I haven't decided if she does it on purpose or if she's just stupid :shrug:
> 
> 
> I also want to vent about a previously enjoyable and fun part of the forum that appears to have transformed itself into a new baby club. It was fun while it lasted :nope:

I agree. It seems to have gotten more baby-ish with everyone posting look at their LO, or LO names list. Even GC has gotten a ton of pregnancy related posts. I mean a little bit if fine, I usually avoid those threads anyway. But when I log on I don't want to see half the posts about women discussing their pregnancy or how their LO mooned a child on the playground. :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:


Bear: Well I must say you handled the situation with the upmost class. If it were me, I might have to refrain from backhanding that child across the face. It's evident were he gets his unruly, rude behavior from. 

Good to hear you're doing better.


----------



## Armywife84

A few more vents:

Yesterday and since we've moved here, I've been noticing an abundance of pregnant women. And it's the South so there's a bunch of teenage pregnancies too. :growlmad::growlmad: My DH made the comment that a certain brigade just came back home from Afghanistan, so that's why we're seeing a TON of pregnant women. They get their husbands, boyfriends back and screw like :bunny: . Must be nice to have sex and get pregnant. :cry:

I also have this massive migraine that has confined to my bed. Poor me.:dohh:


----------



## wonderstars

:hugs: Armywife, zan , Bearsmummy and MissAnnabelle. Boy, it's been a doozy of a week ladies!

Nothing worth venting about today. Same old, preggo preggo everywhere. :cry:


----------



## NavyWife84

Army...I know how you feel about everyone around you being preggo. Isometimes I think it is worse on the base. I avoid the base and military housing like the plague, so much so that dh picks up my perscriiptions so I don't have to go there.

Three vents for me:
Dh and I planned to run some errands, get my insurance info sorted, and then go to a baseball game yesterday. Well, that all went to sh*t because he got called into work and had to work 7-630. To add insult to injury, the reason he had to go in was because the other guy's wife went into labor. I could have done without that bit of info :(

I have my annual laryngitis so I can't talk or sleep due to so much coughing ans my throat hurting.

I'm really dreading mothers day, so on fb I posted "I think its time for me to take another fb hiatus especially with mothers day just around the corner." A girl commented, does that mean you are knocked up?" No dumba$$. Why would I need to take a break from fb around mothers day if I were preggo? I would be excited to celebrate it with the rest of the world (or at least the us). I replied, "nope, it means that I've been trying for two years and for my own mental health don't want to see all the mothers day posts." That'll shut her up! Furthermore, I have been married for 4 years...I wouldn't call it knocked up if I happened to conceived! I probably shouldn't have said what I did on such a public place like fb but I just don't care anymore.


----------



## zilnu

Hope it's OK to post here. I'm new to the forum, have been trying since 2009.

NavyWife, I am thisclose to cracking and telling people off, too. Maybe enough facebook rants will convince people to stop asking.

My rant is mostly toward myself though. I'm pissed I waited a year and half to get married from the time I was engaged. I'm extra-pissed I put on so much weight, making getting pregnant difficult. I wish I hadn't pretended to be casual about it for 2 and a half years now, while everyone around me got pregnant. I threw the stupid baby showers, listened to all the crowing about "superegg and wondersperm have done it again!", even babysat on occasion.

In some cases, friends and family have actually lapped us. We got married the same time, or even before them, and they've not only conceived but *have* 2 gorgeous kids now. I've been with my husband since 2007. I was 28 then, and now I'm 33, still trying for #1. I wish I could go back and tell that girl to get healthy and pregnant while it was easier to do.


----------



## NavyWife84

Don't we all wish we could go back and do things differently!? I wish I hadn't have taken bc for the first two years of my marriage. Maybe we would be parents by now. But you can't change the past...I guess this is one of those learn from mistakes...no regrets type of moments...its so hard though!


----------



## zilnu

I would so love to be a no-regrets person! This month put me over the edge though. I have a 33-35 day cycle, so it already takes forever to find out the results of a month of trying. This time, I'm at Day 39, still no AF, still BFN. I was grateful for my cycles regulating after 2 years of being a mess. Now, it feels like I'm back to square 1.


----------



## Just_married

NavyWife84 said:


> Don't we all wish we could go back and do things differently!? I wish I hadn't have taken bc for the first two years of my marriage. Maybe we would be parents by now. But you can't change the past...I guess this is one of those learn from mistakes...no regrets type of moments...its so hard though!

Agree. I went on bc pill for 3 months before my wedding because af was due to hit during my honeymoon and some months I'm housebound with it so took bc to take to delay it, big mistake. Wish I'd just risked it now x


----------



## Armywife84

Military base=breeding grounds. I swear military wives have nothing better to do than get pregnant. :haha::haha: I'm definitely not the quintessential military wife :dohh:. 

My Rants as of Today: 

I started this new job for the summer until I can go back to school this fall. Nothing special, just extra $$ for stuff we need and eventually $$ being put towards IVF. OF COURSE, I get asked the age old question, "Do you have children?". I answer no, and my loose lips launch into me getting on my infertility soapbox. :dohh: Feck :dohh:. 

Why must I educate fertile people on IF? It's not like they care or will ever understand :nope: :dohh::dohh:. 

Note to Self: Learn how to shut mouth, keep it professional and not let IF woes slip.


----------



## zanDark

Armywife I found myself rambling on about IF to strangers for the first time last week :dohh: I have no idea why since I usually never talk about it IRL! 

I guess sometimes we need to get the thoughts out :shrug:


Vent of the day:

On saturday we brought over a security guy to install a new alarm system in the house...he was making a lot of noise so at some point I texted my SIL saying that I hope the noise isn't bothering her LO's too much and interfering with their naps, since I know that her eldest has serious issues with loud noises and gets extremely scared, I was worried that we'd be causing him stress...especially since we're generally very quiet people in comparison to them with the kids running around pulling furniture and making noise all day.

She says it's ok and not to worry...and "OHH!! I have something to tell you!! I'll be right up!" 

:dohh: dammit

she comes upstairs with my goddaughter and tells me that the lady she was telling me about the other day (some therapist with energy blah blah blah) came to do a session with her and told her that a baby will be arriving soon in the house. She was so excited...just like she was aaaaalll the other times she was sure I'd get pregnant soon....

so I just looked at her and said...what if it's you? I mean remember the dream you had that sent you running upstairs two years ago?? you're holding that dream in your arms because you're the one that got a bfp that month. She laughed and said not to be silly since she and her OH have 0 sex with two kids :dohh:

I don't know what to do with her anymore...I can't tell if her intentions are honest and she really wishes me to be pregnant and it's just my IF bitterness that pops out from time to time is warping the way I see things.....or if she just gets a kick out of reminding me that I've never ever in my life seen a second line on an hpt :shrug::shrug::shrug:

sorry for the superLong rant....I'm just confused about it all. I don't want to snap at her since she's OHs sister and we live under the same roof...on the other hand I wish she'd just shuuuuuuuuuuuuuut uppppppppp about it all!! There's a little part of me that gets its hopes up everytime she says something like that and I'm tired of my hopes getting crushed after 27 cycles of TTC :cry:


----------



## wonderstars

Yikes, one of those people who won't leave it alone. I'd maybe approach it as "I appreciate that you're sending me positive thoughts but I'm having a hard time discussing this topic right now so perhaps we can leave it for now. I would really like that". ? Or will it never sink in with her? 

I think the longer we keep IF to ourselves, the more we want to tell people. I'm getting tired of hiding it, I've started letting things slip too, Army. I also do the same and beat myself up after, lol.


----------



## zanDark

I've told her in the past that I don't want to talk about my IF because it just makes me sad....I guess she thinks that we're not actually talking about it, she's just giving me hope lol :dohh: I've even told her recently that I'm taking a break from TTC until I go for IVF in september because I need some time off from being sad...the first thing that popped out of her mouth was "oooohhhh I bet you're going to get pregnant now that you're not going to be thinking about it" :dohh: yeah thanks...that helps me get TTC out of my head lol


----------



## wonderstars

Hopeless. :dohh:


----------



## uwa_amanda

And so it begins...

Since DH and I have decided to stop ttc for the undetermined amount of time (see siggy below), we are now going to hear from people, "What about adoption?" Of course, that hasn't stopped people before...

I want to shout on the rooftops to "LEAVE US THE HECK ALONE!!!!!!!"

Rant over...lol :haha:


----------



## zanDark

uwa_amanda said:


> And so it begins...
> 
> Since DH and I have decided to stop ttc for the undetermined amount of time (see siggy below), we are now going to hear from people, "What about adoption?" Of course, that hasn't stopped people before...
> 
> I want to shout on the rooftops to "LEAVE US THE HECK ALONE!!!!!!!"
> 
> Rant over...lol :haha:

ugh I really wish people would know when to shut up!!! :dohh: can't they put themselves in other people's shoes for 2 seconds? I'm pretty sure that that's the amount of time needed for them to realize that they're being insensitive and stupid lol :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## BearsMummy

uwa_amanda said:


> And so it begins...
> 
> Since DH and I have decided to stop ttc for the undetermined amount of time (see siggy below), we are now going to hear from people, "What about adoption?" Of course, that hasn't stopped people before...
> 
> I want to shout on the rooftops to "LEAVE US THE HECK ALONE!!!!!!!"
> 
> Rant over...lol :haha:

The know the other annoying thing you will hear now is 'now your not actively trying, you'll be more relaxed and it will happen'

Heard that one a million times over!!

MY RANT

I feel like crap!! I don't know why, I had my accupuncture appointment on Tuesday and its like its opened the floodgates for everything to start hurting. My ovary still hurts, I mentioned it to the doc when I went in Tuesday but didn't make a big fuss, I didn't want it on record that I accociate with knobheads with unruly children!!


----------



## uwa_amanda

BearsMummy said:


> uwa_amanda said:
> 
> 
> And so it begins...
> 
> Since DH and I have decided to stop ttc for the undetermined amount of time (see siggy below), we are now going to hear from people, "What about adoption?" Of course, that hasn't stopped people before...
> 
> I want to shout on the rooftops to "LEAVE US THE HECK ALONE!!!!!!!"
> 
> Rant over...lol :haha:
> 
> The know the other annoying thing you will hear now is 'now your not actively trying, you'll be more relaxed and it will happen'
> 
> Heard that one a million times over!!
> 
> MY RANT
> 
> I feel like crap!! I don't know why, I had my accupuncture appointment on Tuesday and its like its opened the floodgates for everything to start hurting. My ovary still hurts, I mentioned it to the doc when I went in Tuesday but didn't make a big fuss, I didn't want it on record that I accociate with knobheads with unruly children!!Click to expand...

Too late...was told that by a friend yesterday. She and I also have the understanding that infertility not be brought up unless I bring it up. Makes for easier conversation.


----------



## Armywife84

I love the, "What about adoption?". 

Ironically enough it's always fertile couples with 2 or more children who make this suggestion. They're completely unaware you have to go thru endless stacks of paperwork, mental and health evaluations, most likely wait listed, and fork out $25,000 for A baby. It's not like you go to the local convenience shop, pick which one you like, then take your purchase home.:nope:

Rant:

1. I haven't been into bding lately (ovulation window), just too exhausted. Yesterday I had my second migraine and my feet are continuously swollen from work. I don't want cankles!!! :brat: 

2. And for some reason pregnant :mamafy: were real snooty, aside from the usual :smug:ness. I really wanted to smack a few :ninja:.


----------



## zanDark

I had to sit through a convo today where I was told that 4 people were pregnant :dohh: 2 of them without even wanting a baby! They had to "think" about keeping it! :cry:

Not to mention the ex-coworker that was strutting around with her round bump looking beautiful :cry:


----------



## uwa_amanda

Armywife84 said:


> I love the, "What about adoption?".
> 
> Ironically enough it's always fertile couples with 2 or more children who make this suggestion. They're completely unaware you have to go thru endless stacks of paperwork, mental and health evaluations, most likely wait listed, and fork out $25,000 for A baby. It's not like you go to the local convenience shop, pick which one you like, then take your purchase home.:nope:
> 
> Rant:
> 
> 1. I haven't been into bding lately (ovulation window), just too exhausted. Yesterday I had my second migraine and my feet are continuously swollen from work. I don't want cankles!!! :brat:
> 
> 2. And for some reason pregnant :mamafy: were real snooty, aside from the usual :smug:ness. I really wanted to smack a few :ninja:.

I'm thinking that they think it's like going to pick out a puppy at a shelter. :haha:


----------



## wonderstars

zanDark said:


> I had to sit through a convo today where I was told that 4 people were pregnant :dohh: 2 of them without even wanting a baby! They had to "think" about keeping it! :cry:
> 
> Not to mention the ex-coworker that was strutting around with her round bump looking beautiful :cry:

:hugs: That sucks. :( 

There honestly seems to be something in the water. Everywhere I turn someone is pregnant.

Worst thing for me this week? Two women who've managed to get pregnant TWICE since I started trying. Ugh. I think I'm all cried out at this point, all I can do is be sad.


----------



## NavyWife84

I would love to comment on all your posts, but I'm on my phone and its hard to type everything...I will get back on tomorrow to do so.

My rant: I completely lost it at work today and spent my entire lunch break locked in my classroom crying. We are having a mothers day breakfast tomorrow during which we invited all the moms to come in and spend time with their kids (I teach kindeergarten). We have been doing crafts, writing books, and making pictures to present to them tomorrow. I have been okay all week, butt today was harder for some reason. I read the kids a mothers day story right before taking them to lunch. As soon as we leave the classroom I run into one of the three pregnant women that I work with(significantly down from 11 last year!) It took everything I had to finish walking the kids to lunch and then run back to my classroom to let it all out. How the heck am I going to make it through tomorrow?

To make matters worse, dh works nights this week so he is asleep when I leave and I am asleep when he gets home. So we have only woen each other up for akiss hello or goodbye. Figures I wouldn't see him when I need him most.


----------



## wonderstars

NavyWife84 said:


> I would love to comment on all your posts, but I'm on my phone and its hard to type everything...I will get back on tomorrow to do so.
> 
> My rant: I completely lost it at work today and spent my entire lunch break locked in my classroom crying. We are having a mothers day breakfast tomorrow during which we invited all the moms to come in and spend time with their kids (I teach kindeergarten). We have been doing crafts, writing books, and making pictures to present to them tomorrow. I have been okay all week, butt today was harder for some reason. I read the kids a mothers day story right before taking them to lunch. As soon as we leave the classroom I run into one of the three pregnant women that I work with(significantly down from 11 last year!) It took everything I had to finish walking the kids to lunch and then run back to my classroom to let it all out. How the heck am I going to make it through tomorrow?
> 
> To make matters worse, dh works nights this week so he is asleep when I leave and I am asleep when he gets home. So we have only woen each other up for akiss hello or goodbye. Figures I wouldn't see him when I need him most.

:hugs: Mother's Day is a tough one, esp. year after year expecting to be one yourself. You know where to vent when hubby isn't around.


----------



## BearsMummy

Navy: Sending you loads and loads of :hugs::hugs::hugs:

OK, I have a couple of rants.....

Firstly, I do not like change, I am old and set in my ways, I do not like what BNB have done to the website. Its like when BragBook changes (especially to timeline) I DON'T LIKE IT!!!!! My smilies do not work either. Grrrr
Secondly, Please Please Please do not get angry with ME for mentioning this, And I BEG YOU, do not go googling the video, do not watch it, do not watch clips of it, STAY AWAY FROM IT. I actually think the video has been taken down and banned across the world now.
Its a mother beating, and I mean seriously beating her 8 month old baby.
WHAT THE FCUK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE??? I don't know where to start with this one.


----------



## uwa_amanda

BearsMummy said:


> Navy: Sending you loads and loads of :hugs::hugs::hugs:
> 
> OK, I have a couple of rants.....
> 
> Firstly, I do not like change, I am old and set in my ways, I do not like what BNB have done to the website. Its like when BragBook changes (especially to timeline) I DON'T LIKE IT!!!!! My smilies do not work either. Grrrr
> Secondly, Please Please Please do not get angry with ME for mentioning this, And I BEG YOU, do not go googling the video, do not watch it, do not watch clips of it, STAY AWAY FROM IT. I actually think the video has been taken down and banned across the world now.
> Its a mother beating, and I mean seriously beating her 8 month old baby.
> WHAT THE FCUK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE??? I don't know where to start with this one.

I was in Walmart yesterday picking out Mother's Day cards for my mom and MIL and got overwhelmed and had to leave the card section. Father's Day next month is going to be even worse. :cry: 

I have always said that the wrong people in this world are allowed to reproduce. I actually heard a woman tell her friend a long time ago that she didn't care what happened to her newborn, as long as she could get a check every month. THAT right there pissed me off. This was before DH and I had even met. I was so stunned and left speechless (a feat in itself) at this woman's comments.


----------



## BearsMummy

Ahh, my ex husband seems to be one for churning out babies for the benefit cheque each week!

Someone made a comment that this woman could have been suffering with PND, yes, maybe she was, but who is the FECKING IDIOT standing there filming it and not calling help for her or her baby??? It's not just the mother in the wrong in this case, no matter how much 'evidence' I wanted for social services/police etc etc that she is harming her child, I could not stand there and film it!! People make me sick. I can't get my head around it.


----------



## Armywife84

BearsMummy said:


> Navy: Sending you loads and loads of :hugs::hugs::hugs:
> 
> OK, I have a couple of rants.....
> 
> Firstly, I do not like change, I am old and set in my ways, I do not like what BNB have done to the website. Its like when BragBook changes (especially to timeline) I DON'T LIKE IT!!!!! My smilies do not work either. Grrrr
> Secondly, Please Please Please do not get angry with ME for mentioning this, And I BEG YOU, do not go googling the video, do not watch it, do not watch clips of it, STAY AWAY FROM IT. I actually think the video has been taken down and banned across the world now.
> Its a mother beating, and I mean seriously beating her 8 month old baby.
> WHAT THE FCUK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE??? I don't know where to start with this one.

Oh dear! I saw that article on the DM but didn't dare click on it!! 

Navywife- Sending positive vibes your way and hoping you get thru the day. 

I too was cornered by 2 pregnant women at work yesterday. They just babbled about how much they hated their OB and blah, blah. Unfortunately, they were in my work area so I couldn't run away! What is with these cows lately? Just go home and be on bed rest! They act like pregnancy is some sort of disability anyway. 

BNB is ticking me off today too.


----------



## zanDark

ugh Armywife!! the only thing that's worse than a pregnant woman cornering you is when she corners you to bitch about being pregnant :dohh:



THAT'S IT!!! all the pregnant people around me and my SIL saying shit managed to get my hopes up again!! I'd managed to get to a point where I didn't POAS even when I was a few days late and I was much happier just accepting that AF would come month after month after month!!! Now I got my hopes up and since I'm 1 day late I tested on the damn ICs I have stashed away...

:bfn: how fucking original :cry:

tomorrow morning I'm throwing them all out since it's quite obvious that we're never going to get pregnant on our own :cry: there's no point in trying anymore :cry: I'm just going to have to get over it and deal with it again in September when we go for IVF

damn SIL and her crap :cry: next time she tells me about some awesome omen she had I'm going to tell her to shut up and never EVER speak to me about getting pregnant again...maybe THEN she'll get the fucking hint :cry:


----------



## Armywife84

zanDark said:


> ugh Armywife!! the only thing that's worse than a pregnant woman cornering you is when she corners you to bitch about being pregnant :dohh:
> 
> 
> 
> THAT'S IT!!! all the pregnant people around me and my SIL saying shit managed to get my hopes up again!! I'd managed to get to a point where I didn't POAS even when I was a few days late and I was much happier just accepting that AF would come month after month after month!!! Now I got my hopes up and since I'm 1 day late I tested on the damn ICs I have stashed away...
> 
> :bfn: how fucking original :cry:
> 
> tomorrow morning I'm throwing them all out since it's quite obvious that we're never going to get pregnant on our own :cry: there's no point in trying anymore :cry: I'm just going to have to get over it and deal with it again in September when we go for IVF
> 
> damn SIL and her crap :cry: next time she tells me about some awesome omen she had I'm going to tell her to shut up and never EVER speak to me about getting pregnant again...maybe THEN she'll get the fucking hint :cry:

Sometimes you have to get rude with fertile people in order to get them to leave you the hell alone! :haha: 

:hugs::hugs:


----------



## uwa_amanda

Armywife84 said:


> zanDark said:
> 
> 
> ugh Armywife!! the only thing that's worse than a pregnant woman cornering you is when she corners you to bitch about being pregnant :dohh:
> 
> 
> 
> THAT'S IT!!! all the pregnant people around me and my SIL saying shit managed to get my hopes up again!! I'd managed to get to a point where I didn't POAS even when I was a few days late and I was much happier just accepting that AF would come month after month after month!!! Now I got my hopes up and since I'm 1 day late I tested on the damn ICs I have stashed away...
> 
> :bfn: how fucking original :cry:
> 
> tomorrow morning I'm throwing them all out since it's quite obvious that we're never going to get pregnant on our own :cry: there's no point in trying anymore :cry: I'm just going to have to get over it and deal with it again in September when we go for IVF
> 
> damn SIL and her crap :cry: next time she tells me about some awesome omen she had I'm going to tell her to shut up and never EVER speak to me about getting pregnant again...maybe THEN she'll get the fucking hint :cry:
> 
> Sometimes you have to get rude with fertile people in order to get them to leave you the hell alone! :haha:
> 
> :hugs::hugs:Click to expand...

I have!!! I'd tell your SIL that if she ever wants you to speak to her again, pregnancy, babies, fertility (or a lack thereof), or anything regarding children is not allowed as a conversation topic. I haven't gone as far as to stop speaking to people who keep bringing it up, but I have told friends not to bring up anything about that around me. It does nothing but piss me off and get me depressed.


----------



## Armywife84

Just found out that my other SIL is pregnant with her 2nd. :cry::cry::cry::cry:

SIL I hate has 3, SIL (I like) now has 2. All while I'm still at 0. :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry: Life is so cruel.


----------



## zanDark

Armywife84 said:


> Just found out that my other SIL is pregnant with her 2nd. :cry::cry::cry::cry:
> 
> SIL I hate has 3, SIL (I like) now has 2. All while I'm still at 0. :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry: Life is so cruel.

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

damn SILs!!!!


I want to vent about my own stupid self that wandered into the BFP announcement section :dohh: yay for women on pregnancy #5 and those who "finally" got pregnant after 3 months :dohh:

I hate that LTTTC has made me so bitter and cynical at times!


----------



## Armywife84

LTTC makes me wish I didn't want children. It's so painful and lonely to go thru this hell for who knows how long!! 

Argh, I'm just so sick of being the infertile one. :cry::cry:


----------



## zanDark

I know what you mean :hugs: 

on my down days (like this past week) I kind of feel like I'm all alone behind a huuuuuuge glass wall...I can see all the pregnant women, mothers, and babies on the other side! But all I can do is press up against the glass and watch them without being able to find a way through to join them

I don't know if BnB is making me worse or is offering me comfort :cry:


----------



## Armywife84

I know exactly what you mean!!! You're just on the outside looking in, silently suffering on a daily basis. All you can think about when you see a bump or a mother and her child is, "Will I ever get to experience that? When is it my turn? I would kill for that". 

For me sometimes BNB fuels it and other times it's my only support. :cry: 

Just sucks that my day has gone in the shitter and tomorrow is going to be another ruined day. 

It's not fair that other people get baby joy and we're saddled with depression, anxiety. :cry::cry:


----------



## SunUp

I've noticed myself practicaly scowling at pregnant strangers lately.
What is wrong with me.


----------



## zanDark

:dohh::dohh::dohh::dohh:

I think that says it all....


awww sunUp I think we all do that at some point LOL :hugs::hugs: I know it's probably just in my head but sometimes I think that they're staring at me...it's probably just cause I'm looking at them funny :haha::hugs:


----------



## NavyWife84

Before lttc I used to look at preggos and get excited knowing it would be me some day. Now I'm not so sure and it takes everything out of me not to cry when I see one. I think it was armywife that said she wishes she never wanted children...I'm right there with you...

:cry: Well, I started spotting today, which means I will probably start af tomorrow. Im not really sure because my cycles are different on clomid...now 34 days instead of 32 and i never used to spot before af. 
Happy fecking mother's day to me. :cry:


----------



## wonderstars

:hugs: What a Saturday night, hey? 



My body is in sync with your Navy. My spotting staved off for 3 days and I stupidly, stupidly, stupidly, got this little feeling of hope. Stupid stupid me. Now I'm spotting and I don't even know when my period is going to show because Clomid shifted my cycle length. I don't even know if I want to do one more round. I tempted to wait until my FS appt. :help:

And I have a baby shower next weekend, my friend is due any day now and I'm visiting with one friend who just gave birth and my best friend preggo with her 2nd. 

FML. :nope:

Thanks for listening ladies, I haven't had to rant in awhile.


----------



## uwa_amanda

Armywife84 said:


> LTTC makes me wish I didn't want children. It's so painful and lonely to go thru this hell for who knows how long!!
> 
> Argh, I'm just so sick of being the infertile one. :cry::cry:




zanDark said:


> I know what you mean :hugs:
> 
> on my down days (like this past week) I kind of feel like I'm all alone behind a huuuuuuge glass wall...I can see all the pregnant women, mothers, and babies on the other side! But all I can do is press up against the glass and watch them without being able to find a way through to join them
> 
> I don't know if BnB is making me worse or is offering me comfort :cry:




Armywife84 said:


> I know exactly what you mean!!! You're just on the outside looking in, silently suffering on a daily basis. All you can think about when you see a bump or a mother and her child is, "Will I ever get to experience that? When is it my turn? I would kill for that".
> 
> For me sometimes BNB fuels it and other times it's my only support. :cry:
> 
> Just sucks that my day has gone in the shitter and tomorrow is going to be another ruined day.
> 
> It's not fair that other people get baby joy and we're saddled with depression, anxiety. :cry::cry:

Sometimes I wish I didn't want children either. I really didn't until I found someone that I wanted to have children with. We made the decision to stop TTC at what I think is the worst possible time. If it wasn't for you ladies, I am not sure what I would do. I have no one to talk to about being infertile. EVERYBODY I know has a child/children. My mom is wonderful about talking to me about everything. She had a premonition when I was little that I would probably have trouble getting pregnant. I guess it's that mother's intuition that none of us know about! :haha::dohh: I told her last time I visited that I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy. It makes you frustrated, depressed, anxious, and all the other emotions that I haven't mentioned that you ladies know about. I just hope that one day, we will be the mothers that we so badly want to be. :flower:


----------



## Armywife84

Wonderstars you're so brave to go to baby showers! 

Goodness, what a terrible weekend for us all. Round of :hugs::hugs::hugs: for everyone. I know we all need them. 

For a lot of us, I think LTTC/Infertility would be a little bit easier if we had more (if any) physical support in our lives. And probably an endless financial fund to cover as many IVFs as we need :dohh:. 

Rants: 

I woke up today hoping it was just a nightmare (Infertility and the other SIL being pregnant) but it's all very real. :cry: 

Oh and :finger: feck Mother's Day :finger:.


----------



## BearsMummy

:growlmad::growlmad: So I think AF is on her way. Last round of Clomid didn't work. Now just have to wait and see if I get funding for IVF, if not, it looks like I will be babyless forever. I suppose I have to start accepting it. I have always been optimistic, every cycle, I think 'this is it, this is the one', so its not my negative thinking (as I have just been told) thats 'preventing' me from conceiving.

And a rant, totally unrealated to TTC, I have a 'friend' who seems to think she can control my life, if I go out anywhere, I have to explain where and who with and when I will be back. And also, if I don't answer my phone, texts or chats immediately, she seems to think she is entitled to an explanation. For example, I have just reveived a Gas and Elecric bill for nearly £400, which is bloody amazing, seeing as I am on a pre-payment meter, so I have been on the phone for 2 and a half hours trying to sort that out. My Bragbook is logged in, but I'm on another tab reading my emails as well (I am female, I CAN multi-task!! :thumbup:) She had popped up on BragBook chat 'ring me bitch' which I didn't see, and a text on my phone at the same time, which i obviously didn't read as I was on the phone, then 2 seconds later 'why the fuck are you ignoring me?' both on my phone and BragBook Chat, so I messaged back saying 'busy on the phone' Any normal person would have said 'ok, speak later'............... oh no, not her 'who are you on the phone to and why?' :wacko::grr::grr: She is also now being deleted from my life!!!!!


----------



## zanDark

wow BearsMummy she sounds like a handful!!!! :wacko::wacko::wacko: I don't think I could ever stand a person like that around me since I'm veeeeeeery independent and can't stand people (unless it's my OH, but he's very relaxed) pestering me about where I'm going, with who, etc!! Delete delete delete delete!! you don't need that stress!! :hugs:

ugh at the "negativity is keeping your bfp away"!!! :dohh: yeah yeah yeah!! It's easy to give advice when you have absolutely no clue what ltttc feels like!! 


:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Armywife84

BearsMummy said:


> :growlmad::growlmad: So I think AF is on her way. Last round of Clomid didn't work. Now just have to wait and see if I get funding for IVF, if not, it looks like I will be babyless forever. I suppose I have to start accepting it. I have always been optimistic, every cycle, I think 'this is it, this is the one', so its not my negative thinking (as I have just been told) thats 'preventing' me from conceiving.
> 
> And a rant, totally unrealated to TTC, I have a 'friend' who seems to think she can control my life, if I go out anywhere, I have to explain where and who with and when I will be back. And also, if I don't answer my phone, texts or chats immediately, she seems to think she is entitled to an explanation. For example, I have just reveived a Gas and Elecric bill for nearly £400, which is bloody amazing, seeing as I am on a pre-payment meter, so I have been on the phone for 2 and a half hours trying to sort that out. My Bragbook is logged in, but I'm on another tab reading my emails as well (I am female, I CAN multi-task!! :thumbup:) She had popped up on BragBook chat 'ring me bitch' which I didn't see, and a text on my phone at the same time, which i obviously didn't read as I was on the phone, then 2 seconds later 'why the fuck are you ignoring me?' both on my phone and BragBook Chat, so I messaged back saying 'busy on the phone' Any normal person would have said 'ok, speak later'............... oh no, not her 'who are you on the phone to and why?' :wacko::grr::grr: She is also now being deleted from my life!!!!!

Bears, I didn't mean feck Mother's Day for you (as yesterday was our day in the US) just from a LTTC #1 viewpoint in general. I completely understand that your secondary infertility is very much a primary infertility. 

I can't stand "friends" who are just so nosey and attention must be given to them straightaway. :wacko:

My Rants:

-If this young girl I work with doesn't shut her trap, I just may strangle her.

-The pregnant cow was wearing some customized tacky pregnancy top. *Rolls eyes*

-I will never eat the Mexican restaurant near our flat again. It's not sitting well with me today. :sick:


----------



## wonderstars

zanDark said:


> ugh at the "negativity is keeping your bfp away"!!! :dohh: yeah yeah yeah!! It's easy to give advice when you have absolutely no clue what ltttc feels like!!

Worst.Phrase.Ever.

Yes, the negativity is causing my tubes to not work and for the sperm not to penetrate the egg. I've had to bite my tongue many a time from saying "the positivity didn't bring me a bfp so in the f&ck do you propose?". 



Armywife84 said:


> Bears, I didn't mean feck Mother's Day for you (as yesterday was our day in the US) just from a LTTC #1 viewpoint in general. I completely understand that your secondary infertility is very much a primary infertility.
> 
> 
> My Rants:
> 
> -If this young girl I work with doesn't shut her trap, I just may strangle her.
> 
> -The pregnant cow was wearing some customized tacky pregnancy top. *Rolls eyes*
> 
> -I will never eat the Mexican restaurant near our flat again. It's not sitting well with me today. :sick:

I've learned a few things LTTC. Among them:
1) Don't ever ask someone if they plan on having kids.
2) Don't ever ask someone when they plan on having another

I've learned that primary and secondary infertility are equally painful in different ways. Hugs to all the ladies.

I've also learned:
1) Mexican gives you GI upset from both ends. :blush:



BearsMummy said:


> :growlmad::growlmad: So I think AF is on her way. Last round of Clomid didn't work. Now just have to wait and see if I get funding for IVF, if not, it looks like I will be babyless forever. I suppose I have to start accepting it. I have always been optimistic, every cycle, I think 'this is it, this is the one', so its not my negative thinking (as I have just been told) thats 'preventing' me from conceiving.
> 
> And a rant, totally unrealated to TTC, I have a 'friend' who seems to think she can control my life, if I go out anywhere, I have to explain where and who with and when I will be back. And also, if I don't answer my phone, texts or chats immediately, she seems to think she is entitled to an explanation. For example, I have just reveived a Gas and Elecric bill for nearly £400, which is bloody amazing, seeing as I am on a pre-payment meter, so I have been on the phone for 2 and a half hours trying to sort that out. My Bragbook is logged in, but I'm on another tab reading my emails as well (I am female, I CAN multi-task!! :thumbup:) She had popped up on BragBook chat 'ring me bitch' which I didn't see, and a text on my phone at the same time, which i obviously didn't read as I was on the phone, then 2 seconds later 'why the fuck are you ignoring me?' both on my phone and BragBook Chat, so I messaged back saying 'busy on the phone' Any normal person would have said 'ok, speak later'............... oh no, not her 'who are you on the phone to and why?' :wacko::grr::grr: She is also now being deleted from my life!!!!!

Boo on AF. I'm crossing my fingers for you that you get the funding!!! 

As for the friend? I'd say a big f* you and let her on her way. How horrible is she?! :huh:


----------



## Just_married

I accidentally unsubscribed from this thread last week and I've missed it terribly. It's the only one that makes me feel normal!

Hugs to you all for the crappy few days you've all had xxxx


----------



## zanDark

Just_married said:


> I accidentally unsubscribed from this thread last week and I've missed it terribly. It's the only one that makes me feel normal!
> 
> Hugs to you all for the crappy few days you've all had xxxx

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

I used to think that I was a horrible horrible person for letting myself be overwhelmed with bitter feelings at times! I'm generally not a jealous person and don't let myself feel negativity...but LTTTC really does a number on you!! 

This thread reminds me that I'm not a bitch...and sometimes when you're hurting for so long the only way to protect yourself is to get angry :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## BearsMummy

I seem to surround myself with knobheads recently, well she was put in her place last night!! Go me, actually sticking up for myself for once, which is really weird, if you met me irl, I am quite an angry (thank you LTTTC) and confrontational person. I take no prisoners, normally, I don't know why I've changed, maybe I've just mellowed in my old age?? Or I have just given up fighting everything and everyone.

I know AF will be here today, I sat and cried last night, always a sure sign that she's going to make an appearance. 

FML......Thats All.


----------



## BearsMummy

There it is. :witch::brat::sad2::hissy:

Why can't she just piss off!!! :finger:

I have packed all my TTC aids up, no thermometers, no opks, no hpts, softcups, preseed etc etc, its all gone, in a box in the bin. 

Fertility Friend Account is on Time Out.

I GIVE UP. ](*,)

I am going to get very very very drunk now (yes at 3pm) expect drunken ramblings to commence. :drunk::wine:


----------



## trying hard

So sorry bears mummy. Enjoy your :wine:


----------



## NavyWife84

Ugh...I'm sorry Bear. 
I think I am right there with you...I have been spotting since Saturday night. It is really light and very similar to what I usually get after af. Today it was a little heavier than it has been, but still only one pad all day (sorry for the TMI). I NEVER spot before af. Last month I spotted the night before and then she came on full force the next day. I'm so confused. And I'm really sick of my body going through this. Changes all the time. I'm no longer able to predict what's going to happen. I just want to quit, but I want a baby SOOOO bad. Fertility Friend told me to test today, but I just know af is on her way (although I have no symptoms, which is also really wierd). Why can't she just show her ugly face already and put me out of my misery? 
And the dumba$$ part of me wants to keep my hopes up...maybe she won't come. Maybe I am one of those rare people who spots through her pregnancy when af would normally come. But I know that isn't going to happen. I wouldn't be that lucky. 
Unfortunately the hope is still there. I am 17 DPO and my longest LP ever was 19 DPO. So, if af doesn't come, which I know she will, I am going to test this weekend. I haven't tested in like a year because I am just so sick of seeing BFNs. I also hate that I am so negative right now. But I have tried the whole positive thing and it doesn't work. I feel so fake when I try to be positive. Argh.
Okay, I feel better now :)


----------



## Armywife84

Very well put, Zandark!! :thumbup:

Bears- I love your refreshing attitude. Sometimes people just need to be told off. 

The bin is a proper place for TTC supplies. Mine made it there when my GP uttered the word, "infertile". Good riddance to all that shit! :haha:

RANTS:

- I went to a new hair salon to update my color, not to play 20 questions about my life. Don't get me wrong, I love shop talk in the hair salon. However, this stylist breached the children subject too many times.

First she asked if I had children, I told her no and thought that was the end of it. Then when she was shampooing my hair, it came up again when I was going to try. I told her flat out, we're infertile. THEN, I got on my soapbox about IF. :dohh: Once I did that, she quickly changed the subject. She asked! :shrug::haha:

-If it wasn't so tacky or socially unacceptable, I would seriously consider getting "infertile" tattooed on my forehead. Maybe then people would stop badgering me about children. 

-Then my day isn't complete without the usual pregnant :mamafy:(in the hair salon) boasting about her pregnancy, that miraculously happened when her DH came back from deployment last August. Sometimes, I really hate being a military wife :growlmad::growlmad:.


----------



## Maurie

Hi Ladies, 
I hope you dont mind. I have a small rant here....

First let me say, My DH is a wonderful wonderful man. 
That being said we are starting Clomid for the first time since our loss. I am going to counseling and trying acupuncture this round and we have to get mid cycle ultrasound and the trigger shot. I took Clomid days 3-7 on day 9 DH decides he would like to take this month off. He thinks I am not ready and would like to stop all of this stuff!!!! WHAT THE HELL????? :saywhat::growlmad: :hissy: I have already taken the Clomid, he was with me at the appointment. Now I am dealing with the psycho clomid side effects for nothing? We already bought the shot which was 200 dollars. . .
after long talks and bless her heart, his mom talked to him about the effects of the hormones and Clomid so he understands a bit better, he agreed to go ahead with the this cycle and we will reassess before next cycle.

But at one point he told me that he wishes he could reach in and rip out my overies :saywhat: so I wouldnt have to deal with this anymore. He said he doesnt want me to hurt anymore...

He later apologized after his talk with his mom saying he didn't realize the effects the medicine on my hormones, his mom was helpful in explaining it. 

my counseling session tomorrow is going to be very interesting :rofl:

Thank you for reading the long rant:flower:


----------



## wonderstars

~ Oooh, that would annoy me Maurie. The first round of Clomid my hubby was completing in it all the way. Not so for the 2nd cycle, annoyed the heck out of my. Men, ugh.

~ I'm sorry Bearsmummy. That sucks. :hugs:

~ trying hard, I hope everything is going well for you, haven't seen you around much. :)

~ Navy, my body is SO mimicking what yours is doing. I am a chronic spotter but it's a very easy to predict spotting. 25 day cycle with 4 days of spotting. I can predict that. Positive OPK on Day 12. Now? I have no idea. I'm on CD29 with spotting for the last 6 days. WTF?! I'm cranky, full of acne and having headaches. 

NOT a fan of clomid! :growlmad:

I'm hope your body starts to cooperate. :hugs:

~ Boo for nosy hairdressers, Army. My new one is as well and I'm dreading my appointment a bit.

Hope your new hair made you happy though! :)

*****

I would just like to say I hate Clomid. I am beginning to tire of TTC. I feel like the entire world is pregnant, everywhere I turn someone or their wife is pregnant. 

I'm beyond sad. I'm just angry and fed-up now. 

My kid better be a good-looking genius after all of the this. :dohh: 

(I kid I kid)


----------



## mommy and me

Good Afternoon Ladies,

So glad I found this thread. I really need somewhere to rant.

I have been TTC for a year. And it is driving me f*ing nuts. I cant take this any more. I was on clomid for 6 cycles. and Last cycle we decided enough is enough. No more drugs. No more test. Just no more.

I hate "Brag book". Girls from high school posting all there pretty little stupid sonar pictures and all there happy f*king family photos. URGH!!!!! :finger:

I dont care if you are so happy. I mean really. You dont have to post ever little stupid cute thing your little brat does!!!!!!!!!!! :blush: You didnt want him when you fell pregnant in the first place.

And if one more person asks me "When are you adding a little one to your family?" I will rip their stupid smiling face of their bodies. Its not like I'm not trying. :hissy:

All i ever wanted was a little baby boy and later a little sister for him. But now all i want is 1 little baby. I dont care if it is a boy or a girl. 

I've done everything possible to fall pregnant. I've stuck my f*ing legs in the air for hours after :sex: And I've charted my temp. I've done everything. But I'm not so lucky.

My SIL to be had my goddaughter in Dec and I am trying my best to love her lots. But when I see her I get so choked up because I want to have my own.

[-o&lt; 



Sorry ladies. Just needed to vent a bit.

:blush:


----------



## trying hard

Thanks wonderstars...I just couldn't handle BnB so I took a break...almost everybody I had become friends with on here are now pregnant and it was getting me down. I have run out of clomid my IUI didn't work and the drugs were doing my head in. In 3 months it will be 3 years since we stopped using "protection" At least on this thread there isn't the same old "this is your month I know it" RRRAAAAAAAA 

I was invited to another friends baby shower this week. I'm not going. I need to take care of me more than I want to support her. It only took her 2 months of trying! There is no way she appreciates her baby as much as we would ours.


----------



## BearsMummy

Maurie: My OH done that as well, I just sat down calmly (yes, me!! Calm!!) and explained the seriousness and this isn't a drug you can just go and buy over the counter, every day counts, and I'm sorry for my moods, but it's only temporary. I think men just don't understand, they don't mean to be so ignorant about it all, they just are not the ones physically going through the changes meds bring and our maternal urges. 

Mommy and Me: Sending massive :hugs: your way. 

Army: Will people never learn to stop asking such personal questions? I don't understand why anyone thinks it is their right to know such personal details about my life!! My new neighbour decided to ak me the other day if I planned on adding to my family, so I was just blunt and to the point. 'I have been trying to 'add' to my family for over 10 years now, I have had every available treatment and test so far and now I have to have IVF, but whether I do or not is up to if the person at the PCT got out of bed on the wrong side the day my case notes land on his (probably) desk!' She just looked at the floor and muttered something, but I think I shut her up!!

I don't really have a rant, just a little confused. 
I received a C.C from my clinic to my G.P,, where it was decided I would be referred for 'fertility treatment' and all they have said in the letter is 'the couple have decided to go to Oxford for IVF, IUI or ICSI treatment'.......................OK, so which one?? :shrug:

Thanks for all your support when AF arrived on Wednesday, I decided getting smashed probably wasn't the answer and just stomped around the house a little bit, slamming doors and generally being a bitch to anyone who came within shouting distance. I feel better! 

Also the acupuncture really has made a difference to my endo, I have taken ZERO painkillers and the flow is much much lighter, i would seriously recommend doing it! I normally live on painkillers during AF. :thumbup:

My friend who annoyed me at the beggining of the week has firmly been put in her place. She had the audacity to message me on BragBook saying she feels EMPTY because all four of her children were at school. My reply? 'Try having an empty uterus, now that really is an empty feeling' :dohh:


----------



## BearsMummy

Ah, I also meant to add, that since I stopped taking my temperature, I have been sleeping much better, I have been on medication for 3 years to help me sleep and last night was the first night in 3 years that I took no medication at all!! Im so pleased with myself!

I think the reasons I am sleeping better is because
A) I don't have the worry of making sure I have enough sleep to take my temperature!
B) Because I'm not worrying or anticipating what my temperature will be.

I bet your all sick of hearing my positivity today. I'll go find something to rant about. :haha:


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## Just_married

My vent? Why is the bloody 'unsubscribe' button so close to the 'last page' button?! That's the second time in a week I've unsubscribed from the best thread on here.


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## Armywife84

Welcome Maurie and Mommy & me! :flower:

Maurie- It sounds like DH meant well. At least he acknowledges your pain and suffering, even though it's not the best choice of words. 

Wonderstars- I'm very pleased with the outcome of my hair. I would've been rightly pissed if it came out wrong, as she was quite pricey! Hopefully, she's learned to shut her trap about the baby subject. 

Bear's- :rofl::rofl: You are on a roll telling off these fertile ninnies! I must take notes! :thumbup:

No baby rants today, for once. 

Other rants:

-I'm rather annoyed the grocery market didn't have the crisp dip I was looking for. 

-I will strangle DH and end up on the 5 o' clock news, if he doesn't clean up the spare bedroom. 

-This humidity in the South is really getting to me. I believe my deodorant has melted off onto the sidewalk. 

-I will also strangle the pregnant cow's DH (next door) if he doesn't turn down his surround system. :growlmad::growlmad:


----------



## zanDark

ugh! I'm starting to think that some people purposefully try to drive LTTTCers away...either that or they're too damn stupid to realize that LTTTC is *painful* and we don't want to hear you bitch about the fact that "OMG HELP!! MY LEFT BOOB ITCHES BECAUSE OF MY AWESOME PREGNANCY AND WE ALL NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS BECAUSE IT'S OMG SUCH A BIG THING"

:growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:


----------



## Just_married

Friends wedding reception, mutual friend whom I haven't seen in a year, much loved friend actually, but did she really have to ASK if we were going to have a child together like we'd planned......then compound the patronism with that old classic "you know what you need to do is stop thinking about it and it will happen". 

Grrrr I love you lady but I'm still mad at you!!


----------



## zanDark

:dohh::dohh::dohh::dohh::dohh:

I wish someone could explain how "stop thinking about it" helps to not actually think about it!!! It's like telling someone who's on a diet and is struggling "stop thinking about chocolate and you'll be fine"! of course all they're going to think about is chocolate...because YOU'RE reminding them of it :dohh::dohh::dohh:


----------



## Armywife84

Just_married said:


> Friends wedding reception, mutual friend whom I haven't seen in a year, much loved friend actually, but did she really have to ASK if we were going to have a child together like we'd planned......then compound the patronism with that old classic "you know what you need to do is stop thinking about it and it will happen".
> 
> Grrrr I love you lady but I'm still mad at you!!

I just can't wrap my brain around people's logic. Do they not hear themselves? 

We've been told stop thinking about it and stop trying. Should we stop having sex too? It's not really working either. :haha::haha:


----------



## Just_married

Armywife84 said:


> Just_married said:
> 
> 
> Friends wedding reception, mutual friend whom I haven't seen in a year, much loved friend actually, but did she really have to ASK if we were going to have a child together like we'd planned......then compound the patronism with that old classic "you know what you need to do is stop thinking about it and it will happen".
> 
> Grrrr I love you lady but I'm still mad at you!!
> 
> I just can't wrap my brain around people's logic. Do they not hear themselves?
> 
> We've been told stop thinking about it and stop trying. Should we stop having sex too? It's not really working either. :haha::haha:Click to expand...

Maybe that's where I'm going wrong? Lol well I've tried everything else!! 
Yeah?!


----------



## itakp

Hello again ladies,

hope you don´t mind me popping in to moan some more... I guess it´s not really a rant but when I had a pretty complete meltdown on the arrival of AF, DH attempted to talk me out of having children as ´it´s killing you´. Well, yes, it is but I _am_ taking fertility drugs and they make me a little bit nuts. Also, if we take a break now, the 12 month countdown on fertility drugs starts again and I have _no_ intentions to start all over again with Clomid and it´s horrid side-effects, thank you! And I can´t just switch my brain off and not want a child (if someone knows how this is done, pm me asap please!). Sigh.


----------



## Armywife84

:haha: Hypnotism? :haha:

RANT:

-Other than wishing to murder my DH today. He's so moody, it's starting to piss me off. I was wandering in GC and noticed a thread closed about, "Gender disappointment". :saywhat: Thus discovering we have a section in BNB called that. :growlmad::growlmad:

I bet if any of those women, men were LTTC they would certainly not be unhappy with their baby's sex. Unfortunately some of us don't have that luxury of being choosey. :growlmad::growlmad:


----------



## wannabemummyb

Armywife84 said:


> :haha: Hypnotism? :haha:
> 
> RANT:
> 
> -Other than wishing to murder my DH today. He's so moody, it's starting to piss me off. I was wandering in GC and noticed a thread closed about, "Gender disappointment". :saywhat: Thus discovering we have a section in BNB called that. :growlmad::growlmad:
> 
> I bet if any of those women, men were LTTC they would certainly not be unhappy with their baby's sex. Unfortunately some of us don't have that luxury of being choosey. :growlmad::growlmad:

I've seen that section also and it always annoys me! Right now, i would settle for any gender!

My rant: i ov'd about a week ago, and of course have "symptoms" df is convinced this is our month! I've been through this so many times but there is always that small ray of ope, that just makes me feel like an idiot! I am getting to the stage that i geuinely don't believe it will happen for us, but df is poisitive it will happen! I wish i had that ope!

I had facebook and seeing preggers women or babies whereever i go! Ffs it feels like a kick in the teeth every time!
I hate most of all. How bitter i am becoming :cry:


----------



## Just_married

I have just managed to completely enrage myself by checking dates of the next hotel night dh and I have in July. Special occasion as seeing dh face musician, you've guessed it, af is due that bloody day. Last few nights we had away was in April for our 1st wedding anniversary, yep, af was due that day too, time we had away before that was in February for his birthday, yep, af was due that very day too.

So flipping annoyed.


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## NavyWife84

Just_married said:


> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Just_married said:
> 
> 
> Friends wedding reception, mutual friend whom I haven't seen in a year, much loved friend actually, but did she really have to ASK if we were going to have a child together like we'd planned......then compound the patronism with that old classic "you know what you need to do is stop thinking about it and it will happen".
> 
> Grrrr I love you lady but I'm still mad at you!!
> 
> I just can't wrap my brain around people's logic. Do they not hear themselves?
> 
> We've been told stop thinking about it and stop trying. Should we stop having sex too? It's not really working either. :haha::haha:Click to expand...
> 
> Maybe that's where I'm going wrong? Lol well I've tried everything else!!
> Yeah?!Click to expand...

We've tried it (way too exhausted from lttc and needed a break)...it doesn't work! LOL


----------



## NavyWife84

Just_married said:


> I have just managed to completely enrage myself by checking dates of the next hotel night dh and I have in July. Special occasion as seeing dh face musician, you've guessed it, af is due that bloody day. Last few nights we had away was in April for our 1st wedding anniversary, yep, af was due that day too, time we had away before that was in February for his birthday, yep, af was due that very day too.
> 
> So flipping annoyed.

Ugh...that is annoying! Vacations are the ONLY reason I miss BCP! If I didn't want to have af due to a vaca, I didn't have to. Now after being lttc, I would NEVER dream of going back on BCP (unless it is one of those rare occasions that it is medically necessary).


----------



## Just_married

NavyWife84 said:


> Just_married said:
> 
> 
> I have just managed to completely enrage myself by checking dates of the next hotel night dh and I have in July. Special occasion as seeing dh face musician, you've guessed it, af is due that bloody day. Last few nights we had away was in April for our 1st wedding anniversary, yep, af was due that day too, time we had away before that was in February for his birthday, yep, af was due that very day too.
> 
> So flipping annoyed.
> 
> Ugh...that is annoying! Vacations are the ONLY reason I miss BCP! If I didn't want to have af due to a vaca, I didn't have to. Now after being lttc, I would NEVER dream of going back on BCP (unless it is one of those rare occasions that it is medically necessary).Click to expand...

Yeah exactly! I took bcp last year in 2 months b4 wedding as I realised af was due on wedding day & stopped right after honeymoon. Overnights away it's like one thing you tell yourself at least we can just go away for a few days as it's one of the few good points of not having a baby yet!
But it just seems that every single time we try to forget TTC and plan other things the flaming witch is right there reminding me. So every time I go away I'm reminded I'm not pregnant and have to suffer the physical side too. I think there is even a small part of me would go back on bcp just so I can say I'm not pregnant because I'm controlling that choice. You know what I mean? 
xxxx


----------



## mommy and me

Just Married: I agree. These idiots telling you "to stop thingking about it" obviously have no idea what the hell they are talking about. I've tried the whole "lets not try. Lets just have fun." And trust me it does not work. 

I am terrible sorry about my extreme rant last week. I have to apologise for my terrible launuage usage. I only now relaised how bad it was.

Me and DH have to get our homework up to date this week. Becasue i am currently on CD12. And this is after I was 14 days late last moht. How on earth does that happe?!

Hopoe all you ladies have a good day.

:dust:


----------



## uwa_amanda

mommy and me said:


> Just Married: I agree. These idiots telling you "to stop thingking about it" obviously have no idea what the hell they are talking about. I've tried the whole "lets not try. Lets just have fun." And trust me it does not work.
> 
> I am terrible sorry about my extreme rant last week. I have to apologise for my terrible launuage usage. I only now relaised how bad it was.
> 
> Me and DH have to get our homework up to date this week. Becasue i am currently on CD12. And this is after I was 14 days late last moht. How on earth does that happe?!
> 
> Hopoe all you ladies have a good day.
> 
> :dust:

You don't have to apologize for your post last week. That is the beauty of this thread! I wasn't offended by your use of terrible language...I sympathize with you. :)


----------



## mommy and me

uwa_amanda said:


> mommy and me said:
> 
> 
> Just Married: I agree. These idiots telling you "to stop thingking about it" obviously have no idea what the hell they are talking about. I've tried the whole "lets not try. Lets just have fun." And trust me it does not work.
> 
> I am terrible sorry about my extreme rant last week. I have to apologise for my terrible launuage usage. I only now relaised how bad it was.
> 
> Me and DH have to get our homework up to date this week. Becasue i am currently on CD12. And this is after I was 14 days late last moht. How on earth does that happe?!
> 
> Hopoe all you ladies have a good day.
> 
> :dust:
> 
> You don't have to apologize for your post last week. That is the beauty of this thread! I wasn't offended by your use of terrible language...I sympathize with you. :)Click to expand...

Thanks a mill


----------



## BearsMummy

I had an awful weekend!

A couple of weeks ago OH and I went for our blood tests at our GP surgery, the nurse who took the blood tests was based in the room the midwife normally has.

The dirty bint my ex-husband slept with behind. My backhappened to be in the doctors surgery that same day and saw us going in to see the nurse.

I went to a house warming party and the bint was there, absolutely smashed out her tree and in a very loud oxnoxious pissed up manner shouted out in front of the whole place "so your you pregnant then?" I replied very stifley "no" and she was like "but I saw you going in to see the midwife" luckily at that point my bestie come over and escorted me into another room and told the sister of the girl to tell her to shut her big fat mouth!

Bitch!!


----------



## trying hard

agreed. BITCH!!!!


----------



## mommy and me

Stupid Bitch. She must keep her trap shut.


----------



## wonderstars

Holy Bitch! Holy moly! :help: Some people are just ridiculous.

***

Well, one friend popped and now I'm off to visit my best friend who's going to be popping in August. This week is the ultimate test. Today a pregnant woman, Friday visiting my friend's newborn and Sunday, a baby shower.

Someone tell me I'm being stupid. :dohh: The only reason I think I can do this is because of my fertility appointment. I'd be hiding otherwise.


----------



## Maurie

BearsMummy- Holy Hell that is Awful! I am so sorry... :hugs:

Wonderstars, WOW I am envious of your strength! I could not handle all of that at this point! Did your fertility appointment go well?


----------



## TTCMetalMom

I can't get away from the pregnant women or new mothers, two of my friends are pregnant, my niece (same age as me) is pregnant and my nephew's girlfriend has just had a baby....and here I am, back on metformin and medication that should hopefully give me a period (not had one in almost 6 months!!) and I feel like crying! I keep wondering if it'd be easier to get hold of a surrogate but we can't afford to do that and I'm still too young to adopt...I hate being in this in between stage! It's not fair! It's really taking it's toll on me, I can't do a day without wanting to cry.


----------



## wonderstars

:hugs: Metalmom. This stuff really takes a toll. I had to, at one point, take a while off of B&B and Facebook and all my friends. It just got too overwhelming. 

Maurie, my appt isn't until July but the thought that I could be pregnant by the end of the year makes me happy. I'll be 32 in October but that's cool. That's still young...right? Haha.

Hope you are all having a good one! Anyone else enjoying a long weekend?

:dust:


----------



## NavyWife84

BearsMummy said:


> I had an awful weekend!
> 
> A couple of weeks ago OH and I went for our blood tests at our GP surgery, the nurse who took the blood tests was based in the room the midwife normally has.
> 
> The dirty bint my ex-husband slept with behind. My backhappened to be in the doctors surgery that same day and saw us going in to see the nurse.
> 
> I went to a house warming party and the bint was there, absolutely smashed out her tree and in a very loud oxnoxious pissed up manner shouted out in front of the whole place "so your you pregnant then?" I replied very stifley "no" and she was like "but I saw you going in to see the midwife" luckily at that point my bestie come over and escorted me into another room and told the sister of the girl to tell her to shut her big fat mouth!
> 
> Bitch!!

I agree with the others...what a b*tch!!! 
I'm sorry you had a bad weekend. It must be in the air. I had a horrible week last week, but I didn't post it here because it was way too depressing. I did post it in my journal though...I cry when I read it. I hate weeks like that!!!


----------



## NavyWife84

Just_married said:


> NavyWife84 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Just_married said:
> 
> 
> I have just managed to completely enrage myself by checking dates of the next hotel night dh and I have in July. Special occasion as seeing dh face musician, you've guessed it, af is due that bloody day. Last few nights we had away was in April for our 1st wedding anniversary, yep, af was due that day too, time we had away before that was in February for his birthday, yep, af was due that very day too.
> 
> So flipping annoyed.
> 
> Ugh...that is annoying! Vacations are the ONLY reason I miss BCP! If I didn't want to have af due to a vaca, I didn't have to. Now after being lttc, I would NEVER dream of going back on BCP (unless it is one of those rare occasions that it is medically necessary).Click to expand...
> 
> Yeah exactly! I took bcp last year in 2 months b4 wedding as I realised af was due on wedding day & stopped right after honeymoon. Overnights away it's like one thing you tell yourself at least we can just go away for a few days as it's one of the few good points of not having a baby yet!
> But it just seems that every single time we try to forget TTC and plan other things the flaming witch is right there reminding me. So every time I go away I'm reminded I'm not pregnant and have to suffer the physical side too. I think there is even a small part of me would go back on bcp just so I can say I'm not pregnant because I'm controlling that choice. You know what I mean?
> xxxxClick to expand...

I know exactly what you mean...I told dh the other day that I just can't wait for IVF. Not because I think it is going to work (I am hoping it will, but I don't get my hopes up too high these days), but because we will do the three attempts that insurance will pay for and then we are done. We will be done trying and we will move on to adoption. There will always be a little glimmer of hope that I will miraculously get pregnant and a part of me that is sad about not having a baby of my own, but I will be done with this suffering. I will grieve for a little while that I can't have my own and then I will look forward to inviting a child who needs us into our home because I know we are going to be wonderful parents one day...one way or another.


----------



## Maurie

Stupid little rant...

I am sitting in the hospital supporting my DH. . . His Grandfather is not doing well, they are starting to talk hospice. 

when out of nowhere not one but 2 damn lullabies are played over the loud speaker, which means that two babies were just born... I about cried!!! 

Why didn't they do that when I miscarried? My baby was born, just far to early to survive.... 

Unfortunately I was taken off guard, I didn't even think about it when I came to the hospital... Thankfully I am in the waiting room alone working on my computer.... sigh


----------



## Armywife84

Navy- I'm so sorry to read about your ferret. That sounds horrible. Poor dear. :cry:

Bears- Your friend should've let you have a go at her! :haha: 

Mauire- :hugs: Your right, they should've had a lullaby for your angel and any other angels who have made it to earth for a short stay. 

Rant: 

I was having to use the loo quite a bit at work today. Well, I'm sick and trying to drink a lot of fluids. One of the girls asks slyly if I had something to announce. :cry::growlmad: I gave her a look and told her, "Uh no. Unfortunately, I'm not able to get pregnant". :cry::cry:


----------



## uwa_amanda

Armywife84 said:


> Navy- I'm so sorry to read about your ferret. That sounds horrible. Poor dear. :cry:
> 
> Bears- Your friend should've let you have a go at her! :haha:
> 
> Mauire- :hugs: Your right, they should've had a lullaby for your angel and any other angels who have made it to earth for a short stay.
> 
> Rant:
> 
> I was having to use the loo quite a bit at work today. Well, I'm sick and trying to drink a lot of fluids. One of the girls asks slyly if I had something to announce. :cry::growlmad: I gave her a look and told her, "Uh no. Unfortunately, I'm not able to get pregnant". :cry::cry:

Why the hell is it that people automatically assume that since you are drinking more fluids that you have "something to announce"? Did I miss something? Does drinking more fluids make you pregnant? If so...I sure missed out. :dohh: People just make no freakin' sense to me anymore. Geez!!! What a dumbass...and I bet she sure felt like one after you told her what you did. That is why after what I've been through I won't ask anybody anything because you never know what they could be going through.


----------



## wonderstars

Army - how cruel that you can't even go to the bathroom without having fertility crap thrown in your face. :hugs: People are just rude. I wish, one day, to have your courage to say I'm not able to get pregnant. Good on you for putting her in her place and making her think twice next next time. 

Ya know, drinking lots of fluids could just be a way to get over a hangover? Should try that next time. :winkwink:

Maurie - :hugs: I can't believe a hospital would do that; I think it's rather inappropriate to actually have lullabies over the intercom. Babies are born there but they can also pass. If I were you, I would actually send in a comment card. 

Navy - I'm crossing my fingers for you and hoping things start to go right. :hugs: This LTTC stuff is so hard and it's difficult to tell anyone about it, which makes it just that much harder.

***

One last shot at this clomid thing. Even DH is ready to go all out. I can't use instead cups because of my high, deviated cervix but I will be using my Divacup to scoop up the spermies and then stand on my head. For some reason from behind has never worked for us (10" height difference maybe?!) but gosh darnit, it's working this time around dammit! I figure we could try and use the stairs? :huh:

I'm trying to be more light hearted but damn, it's hard. :nope:


----------



## Just_married

Wonderstars you have good attitude to laugh about it. 

Me and dh were talking about ltttc the other morning & it got a bit serious, so I made him laugh by getting to eye level with his bits and told them what they needed to do 'we only need ONE of you swimmers, that's not too much to ask is it? Where's your competitive spirit? Which one of you will find the egg first? C'mon guys!'

:D


----------



## uwa_amanda

Just_married said:


> Wonderstars you have good attitude to laugh about it.
> 
> Me and dh were talking about ltttc the other morning & it got a bit serious, so I made him laugh by getting to eye level with his bits and told them what they needed to do 'we only need ONE of you swimmers, that's not too much to ask is it? Where's your competitive spirit? Which one of you will find the egg first? C'mon guys!'
> 
> :D

lololol....I've done that too! Evidently though, they must have smirked at me and said, "get real woman" :haha: :haha: :haha:


----------



## StephieB

Another bitter and extremely cynical and sarcastic LTTC-er here looking to join in if possible?? 

I admit I actually used to be a pretty regular contributor to BnB when I was all positive about TTC, now 2 and a bit years down the line the bitterness of LTTC has slowly turned my soul to stone, and then I avoided this place because, low and behold, it was full of people getting their BFP or pregnant (like it was a huge shock to me, I'm an idiot!) now i feel like making a come back! :gun:

My very first rant on here will mirror many of yours! 

1) Facebook. Well done to you on the announcement of your fourth pregnancy with yet another man . Bravo slag face!! For my friends with children who have been lucky enough to not be deleted, I do not give two shits how often you have changed a nappy today, or how long your 'angel' let you sleep. You would't care to know how many times my cat shits in a day, and I care even less about your childs bowels!! 

2) Marrying into the worlds most fertile family. I kid you not. There have been 4 (yes, 4!) babies born into this family since we were married in October, with another 3 on the way and here I am, barren bloody Betty with nada! One cousin in law got pregnant just so she could have more maternity leave because she was "bored of work". She has a 6 month old, HOW IS THAT FAIR?! Just to top it off, the latest child was born the same week our baby would have been born had we not had a miscarriage. Thanks life, you big twat! 

3) LTTTC turning me into a bitter and twisted woman. Seriously, sometimes I don't even like myself! Every time I hear a pregnancy announcement, I just leave. I have left family dinners, christmas parties, meetings at work, I just walk out. Funny thing is we are LTTTC in secret, so I must just seem like a very strange woman. I physically cannot be happy for pregnant people anymore, they should tell you that will happen as soon as you TTC. 

4) As I have mentioned we had a miscarriage in September. My first round of Clomid failed miserably, with AF arriving on our DUE DATE! ](*,)

5) Even now when we are supposedly taking a 'break' from TTC, I still know I'm ovulating tomorrow, I have still lured my unsuspecting DH to bed even though I am actually getting pretty bored of sex, and I will still be heartbroken when AF arrives, only this time, I will have to be heartbroken alone, because I'm supposed to be 'taking a break'. 

LTTTC sucks arse. Sorry my rant got a little bit long there! Phew feel better though! :winkwink:


----------



## smallstar

Hey all....i havent been on here for quite some time.....but my best friend has just announced she is pregnant and literally within 3months of coming off the BCP!!!! Makes me feel so angry but bad at the same time for feeling angry!!!
I am in the LTTTC...it will be just over 2 years end of this month :( Im feeling so low about it all again!!
I never really dont think about it but it seems to be worse when those closest to you are announcing their pregnancies, its like those painful feelings that you try and hide somehwere deep down rise to the surface :(
x


----------



## Armywife84

Amanda, Wonder- I wouldn't call myself brave, more of tired of putting on a fake, happy show for people. Now, I just let the truth fly and don't give a damn who hears or listens to it. She pretended not to hear and looked down at her work. I knew she heard me too! Oh well, I wasn't looking for pity and glad nothing more came out of her mouth. 

Actually, I'm rather surprised she mentioned fertility. I mentioned to another girl I was dealing with IF and I'd figure the rest of the gossipy hens knew already. 

Welcome Stephie B and Smallstar!!

Stephie- Sorry to hear of your miscarriage.

I too, don't bother congratulating the pregnant cows when they announce their "happy" news. Sometimes I just stare at them and change the conversation or walk away. I don't want to congratulate them, I want to tell them off!!! :growlmad::growlmad:


RANT:

"Those days" are now a daily occurrence. So wonderful to feel like garb everyday of my life.


----------



## uwa_amanda

Army, we've done the same. Anybody who asks us when we're having children will get, "It is going to be highly unlikely that we will be able to have children" and leave it at that. Any more than that though, and people's eyes start to glaze over.


----------



## Armywife84

:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry: Me and DH just got into it. SIL (I hate) just sent to our new address an invite for the new baby's christening. Plus a family picture and other pics of the new baby. :cry::cry::cry:

Not only am I upset about those, but I specifically asked DH to tell the bitch not to send any pictures here, but to DH's parents. It's not that I don't ever want pics of the LOs, I just don't need to see them while I'm going thru IF. :cry::cry: 

DH is making me out to be this bitch. I can't help the way I feel. I'm just sick and tired of going thru this. :cry::cry:

It's upsetting and frightening not knowing if you're ever going to be a mother.


----------



## BearsMummy

Army - That's the way you deal with IF, and people must respect that! It's not up to anyone else to tell you how to deal with your feelings, or to tell you that your wrong. Stay Strong :hugs:

Navy - I am so sorry about Cinny, :hugs:

Stephie - Cynical and sarcastic, us?? Never!! :haha: Welcome!!


----------



## StephieB

Army - I'm sorry :hugs: I think we all share your frustrations! I agree with what BearsMummy said, nobody else can even come close to comprehending what you are going through, I think sometimes it's more important that we protect ourselves, rather than please those around us. 

I would do the exact same thing. DH didn't speak to me all last night because I refused to go a family BBQ this weekend because I knew there would be two new borns and a pregnant woman there. Apparently I need to "get over it...". You can imagine my reaction to this! It was strange because usually DH and I are on the same wave length with IF, apparently not :shrug:

BearsMummy - I meant cynical and sarcastic in the best possible way of corse, :haha:


----------



## fpcco08

This is going to be very hard to believe, but I have been employed by my work for a little over 2 years now, and during that time, there has been 16 pregnancies, one of them being myself, (m/c) 3 of them are from the same woman, (1 m/c) and another 2 by a different woman. The rest are all by different women. So, 13 different women have gotten pregnant in 2 years, none of them trying, and all of them surprised. The famous saying at my work is, "Don't drink the water!" So, I just heard, while I'm on vacation this week, that there is yet ANOTHER friggin pregnancy, making that 14 different women, 17 pregnancies!! I flew off the handle. I think it bugs me the most, because this girl is 21, does nothing but party and drink every night, and has been on birth control since she was 14. She came off of it only because her doctor told her that it was what was causing her cysts. Then the first time she had sex with someone she met at a bar, she got pregnant. And she is sooo miserable about it, saying she doesn't know what to do, she's not ready, and she doesn't want it. It just makes me sick to my stomach!! I don't understand how someone can be soo irresponsibly stupid, and unaware of the beauty of what is growing inside of her. I just know, if she does decide to carry, she will be one of those people that very possibly will not give up drinking and partying, despite a baby being inside of her. I mean, I feel like if it weren't for her being pregnant, I would just smack her for her ignorance!! Here I am, trying so hard for a baby, then I get pregnant, and lose the baby, then I try again for what seems like forever, and nothing, but it seems like once a month there is a newly pregnant coworker. When will it be my turn??? Sorry to rant and rave, but I really needed that! Thank you, I feel better now :)


----------



## Armywife84

Thank you ladies. I too believe that conserving my mental health is more important than rolling over for others. They have no right in telling me how to feel. If they don't like how I deal with IF, then they can feck off! 

I told DH off. SIL is just trying to rub it in my face. She could care less about my struggles. 

Stephie- I would've done the same and skipped the social event! Why go to a gathering when you know you're going to be miserable? Just to please other people? Pffft!!! 

Welcome Fpcco08, my condolences for your losses. :hugs: I feel sorry for her unborn child. A woman who is that careless should be infertile, not us.


----------



## smallstar

Just another small rant....but at work at minute and the woman i work with has got a FULL SCREEN picture of someone we work with daughters baby scan at 20weeks!!! Now everyone is crowding round her desk oooing and ahhing at this F***ING picture!!!! 
I DO NOT WANT TO LOOK AT IT!!!!! I can actalully feel my ovaries crying!!!! :(
Grrrrrrr!!!! 
I really am struggling at the minute, the monster inside me has well and truely surfaced again and its becoming more and more difficult to restrain!
Ive got a family BBQ tomorrow and i know whats coming the dreaded baby questions and i am worried that i will not be able to give my usual false smile and nod and say "oh soon....yes!" and that i will erupt!!! : (

Need some advice ladies on how to deal with this and also the fact the my best friend is pregnant and since she told me earlier this week i have avoided her like the bubonic plague!!!!! Really do not know how i am going to be able to deal with the next 9months!!!! I cant avoid her forever but i really hate her at the minute!!! Which i feel so bad for as it is!


----------



## BearsMummy

smallstar- I have no advice for you, sorry, me being me would just tell them to f off and mind their own f'ing business!! As you can see by my previous posts, I am usually one to tell someone straight!
And the thing with your friend, take some time out, does she know about your struggles? If she does, maybe she will be understanding of why you are taking some time out. I know my true friends who have got pregnant while I have been trying have been fantastic and very understanding if I haven't wanted to get too involved.


----------



## smallstar

BearsMummy - I know but its so hard to tell people to f off especially when they dont know what we are going through!!! They will just think i am mad and errational! :) (Which i suppose this all has made me anyway!)
Noone knows that we have been TTC for over 2 years now, we have made the decision to keep this to ourselves as didt want anyone knowing and prying into our business...so thats why its hard for me to keep my distance from her as she has no clue and will just think she has doen something wrong!!! 

It really is a horrible situation to be in and just feel worse for not knowing what to do about it all!


----------



## Just_married

Smallstar I really feel for you. Must be such strong feelings, and you don't want to hate her. It's not fair. If she's a true friend she'll understand, give you space to come to terms with it.

Afm back to cd1, cycle 16. A bit heavy hearted & can't even book hsg as correct cycle days won't fall on a Wednesday. Went for a walk in sunshine & bumped into my friend (best mans wife) pushing her 6 month old who she conceived & had in the time we've been trying. But I have to say to you I don't grudge her anything, she had a full term stillbirth 18months ago. And God bless her, she had no 'stop stressing/thinking about it and it will happen'. She only said she was sure it's just matter of time & she's praying it is soon for us. 

Not sure what I want to do this cycle. Thinking soy, preseed & try cup....then again, feels like trying only builds my hopes up. Just in a fed up moaning face can't be a*sed why am I bothering with anything mood.


----------



## Armywife84

I just want to say...what the feck is people's problem today? Everyone I've encountered has been rude. I can understand if it's a Monday; I won't bat an eye...but it's Friday for feck's sake!!! 

Smallstar- If you don't want people knowing your LTTC business at the BBQ, then I would say, "We're trying." and change the subject. Otherwise they'll keep on with the ignorant comments and questions. 

As far as your pregnant friend goes, I echo the other ladies in confiding in her about your struggle. However, she may or may not try to understand. I've actually had that backfire on me and we're not on speaking terms. There's nothing wrong with putting your mental health first. 

---Rant----

Uh why must the pregnant one at work come within 3 feet of me? She needs to stay in her work area and stop milling over to mine!! :growlmad::growlmad: I don't really speak to her unless I have to. I'm also not near the toilet, nor do I have any food or water in my area..so there's no reason for you to be near me!!! :hissy:


----------



## wannabemummyb

My vent: af turned up this morning! Think that says it all


----------



## uwa_amanda

wannabemummyb said:


> My vent: af turned up this morning! Think that says it all

Mine showed up yesterday...and I feel like shit too!!! :growlmad:


----------



## Just_married

uwa_amanda said:


> wannabemummyb said:
> 
> 
> My vent: af turned up this morning! Think that says it all
> 
> Mine showed up yesterday...and I feel like shit too!!! :growlmad:Click to expand...

Mines yesterday too, and it's horrendous. Never bled this much in my life, stressing out of my head :(


----------



## wannabemummyb

uwa_amanda said:


> wannabemummyb said:
> 
> 
> My vent: af turned up this morning! Think that says it all
> 
> Mine showed up yesterday...and I feel like shit too!!! :growlmad:Click to expand...

Doesn't get any easier hey? :cry: came downstairs and realised i had to take my cat to the vets, a flipping fox had bitten through her tail, she has to go back monday to get part of it amputated! Awesome day! :growlmad:

:hugs: uwa_amanda


----------



## uwa_amanda

Just_married said:


> uwa_amanda said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> wannabemummyb said:
> 
> 
> My vent: af turned up this morning! Think that says it all
> 
> Mine showed up yesterday...and I feel like shit too!!! :growlmad:Click to expand...
> 
> Mines yesterday too, and it's horrendous. Never bled this much in my life, stressing out of my head :(Click to expand...

Mine is this month too. I got up twice last night in pain because I've been cramping so freakin' bad this month!!! UGH!!!!! :haha:


----------



## Armywife84

Go figure we'd all sync up with our cycles. :dohh::rofl::rofl:

AF started for me today. :growlmad:


----------



## Just_married

No way! 4 of us within 24 hrs?! 
No wonder this threads been so busy with vents this week lol! 
Fingers crossed for this cycle for all us cycle buddies


----------



## mindyb85

I'm so sad right now. Dh wont bd and we decided together after a year of trying naturally (never once ovulating since my MC last June -on my third round of clomid) that we would try clomid again and he would put more effort into bding. I'm just pissed and hurt because I almost feel like he lied to me and got my hopes up and wont even touch me. I haven't been continuing to go to the gym like I promised but i just feel so empty that I don't even care. Sorry if none of this makes sense I just had to vent and cry. Total we've been ttc/ntnp 2½ years! With pcos and low thyroid. So emo right now about this and now I don't even want to look at dh.


----------



## uwa_amanda

Armywife84 said:


> Go figure we'd all sync up with our cycles. :dohh::rofl::rofl:
> 
> AF started for me today. :growlmad:

I've heard of ladies' cycles syncing up when you are actually hanging out together, but leave it to us to figure out a way to do that online! :rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## NavyWife84

uwa_amanda said:


> Just_married said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> uwa_amanda said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> wannabemummyb said:
> 
> 
> My vent: af turned up this morning! Think that says it all
> 
> Mine showed up yesterday...and I feel like shit too!!! :growlmad:Click to expand...
> 
> Mines yesterday too, and it's horrendous. Never bled this much in my life, stressing out of my head :(Click to expand...
> 
> Mine is this month too. I got up twice last night in pain because I've been cramping so freakin' bad this month!!! UGH!!!!! :haha:Click to expand...

I'm right there with you ladies...I spotted for 2 weeks straight this past cycle with a tiny af inbetween...just stopped today. WTF?
I'm not in sync as you ladies, but I know the stressing part because of odd af...argh


----------



## Just_married

I'm going to make appt with doc in morning. Bleeding calmed down after I spoke to doc on phone and he told me I could take higher dose of tranexamic acid, but between 4:30-5:30 am I was up pacing the floor breathing through cramps which were the same as moderate labour pains I felt when I had dd 16yrs ago. Something def not right. Searched my brains for what it could be. Muscles are so week and sore too. Feel & look like a zombie. Hands & feet puffy. Scared it's going to get worse. 

Moan moan moan! Sorry ladies!! Xxx


----------



## Just_married

PS MIndy, that's frustrating! I feel like strangling dh when he pulls things like that. But I guess you can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink. Only thing I can suggest is talking it out. Might be an underlying issue that's getting to him? Performance anxiety as it's ov day? My dh is a weird guy who tells me not to tell him when I'm fertile! Or maybe he's still mixed up about your loss? Feels he is risking hurt again? 

Big hugs! X


----------



## mindyb85

Yeah it might be a combo of those things and before dh always said he didn't want to know when i was fertile but recently changed his mind and I almost wished he didn't know because things seemed to happen more along the right times.


----------



## Armywife84

Just_married said:


> I'm going to make appt with doc in morning. Bleeding calmed down after I spoke to doc on phone and he told me I could take higher dose of tranexamic acid, but between 4:30-5:30 am I was up pacing the floor breathing through cramps which were the same as moderate labour pains I felt when I had dd 16yrs ago. Something def not right. Searched my brains for what it could be. Muscles are so week and sore too. Feel & look like a zombie. Hands & feet puffy. Scared it's going to get worse.
> 
> Moan moan moan! Sorry ladies!! Xxx

:shock: I hope it gets better!! Maybe go to the hospital, something sounds off.


----------



## fpcco08

Armywife84 said:


> Thank you ladies. I too believe that conserving my mental health is more important than rolling over for others. They have no right in telling me how to feel. If they don't like how I deal with IF, then they can feck off!
> 
> I told DH off. SIL is just trying to rub it in my face. She could care less about my struggles.
> 
> Stephie- I would've done the same and skipped the social event! Why go to a gathering when you know you're going to be miserable? Just to please other people? Pffft!!!
> 
> Welcome Fpcco08, my condolences for your losses. :hugs: I feel sorry for her unborn child. A woman who is that careless should be infertile, not us.

I agree.. I think its ironic how that always happens. So many parents out there that don't deserve what they have, but there are sooo many more that deserve what they can't have, or have to work 100 times harder than others to get. On a lighter not, I guess it's finally my turn. I got my bfp the other day at 11 dpo :) I suppose I finally drank enough of that water at work :rofl:


----------



## Just_married

Armywife84 said:


> Just_married said:
> 
> 
> I'm going to make appt with doc in morning. Bleeding calmed down after I spoke to doc on phone and he told me I could take higher dose of tranexamic acid, but between 4:30-5:30 am I was up pacing the floor breathing through cramps which were the same as moderate labour pains I felt when I had dd 16yrs ago. Something def not right. Searched my brains for what it could be. Muscles are so week and sore too. Feel & look like a zombie. Hands & feet puffy. Scared it's going to get worse.
> 
> Moan moan moan! Sorry ladies!! Xxx
> 
> :shock: I hope it gets better!! Maybe go to the hospital, something sounds off.Click to expand...

Did as you suggested army! Had second bout of pain & bleeding and thought I've had enough of this crap. Went to hospital & explained everything to doc. Fortunately (!) tests I had in feb due to infertility helped her rule out fibroids etc. So she said basically it's just a very unlucky bad cycle hopefully a one off and prescribed me mefanamic acid painkillers. She said the spasms of pain were (as I described) contractions as sometimes the cervix needs to open to pass stuff. Ugh tmi I know but feeling much less anxious about it all. Just sore n tired & drugged up to the eyeballs lol. Can't blooming wait till this af is over baby! Bet all of you can't wait either so I'll stop bloody moaning! 

Hope everyone is doing well! Thanks for being there xxx


----------



## NavyWife84

Just_married said:


> PS MIndy, that's frustrating! I feel like strangling dh when he pulls things like that. But I guess you can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink. Only thing I can suggest is talking it out. Might be an underlying issue that's getting to him? Performance anxiety as it's ov day? My dh is a weird guy who tells me not to tell him when I'm fertile! Or maybe he's still mixed up about your loss? Feels he is risking hurt again?
> 
> Big hugs! X

My DH and I just had a pretty serious talk about this same issue. I feel like he never wants to touch me anymore, even when it isn't during fertile time. I have been getting really upset about this for the last few months and he has been ignoring me every time we talk about it. I don't know what made him talk just recently, but he did tell me that the reason he never wants to bd is because of the pressure of ltttc. Ugh...I swear this infertility crap ruins more than anyone could ever imagine. 

On a lighter note, I have not mentioned it at all (although I have not reached fertile period yet) this cycle and it has gotten better. Unfortunately he will know when that time comes because we have to go in for our 3rd IUI this weekend. Unfortunately, Friday is a big celebration for Father's Day, since we won't be in school later in june, we are supposed to be at my parent's house for my mom's birthday, and Monday is our moving up ceremony for my kindergarteners to go on to first grade...talk about bad timing!!! I hate how being ready for IUI is so stressful.


I agree.. I think its ironic how that always happens. So many parents out there that don't deserve what they have, but there are sooo many more that deserve what they can't have, or have to work 100 times harder than others to get. On a lighter not, I guess it's finally my turn. I got my bfp the other day at 11 dpo :) I suppose I finally drank enough of that water at work :rofl:[/QUOTE]

^^Congrats! 



Just_married said:


> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Just_married said:
> 
> 
> I'm going to make appt with doc in morning. Bleeding calmed down after I spoke to doc on phone and he told me I could take higher dose of tranexamic acid, but between 4:30-5:30 am I was up pacing the floor breathing through cramps which were the same as moderate labour pains I felt when I had dd 16yrs ago. Something def not right. Searched my brains for what it could be. Muscles are so week and sore too. Feel & look like a zombie. Hands & feet puffy. Scared it's going to get worse.
> 
> Moan moan moan! Sorry ladies!! Xxx
> 
> :shock: I hope it gets better!! Maybe go to the hospital, something sounds off.Click to expand...
> 
> Did as you suggested army! Had second bout of pain & bleeding and thought I've had enough of this crap. Went to hospital & explained everything to doc. Fortunately (!) tests I had in feb due to infertility helped her rule out fibroids etc. So she said basically it's just a very unlucky bad cycle hopefully a one off and prescribed me mefanamic acid painkillers. She said the spasms of pain were (as I described) contractions as sometimes the cervix needs to open to pass stuff. Ugh tmi I know but feeling much less anxious about it all. Just sore n tired & drugged up to the eyeballs lol. Can't blooming wait till this af is over baby! Bet all of you can't wait either so I'll stop bloody moaning!
> 
> Hope everyone is doing well! Thanks for being there xxxClick to expand...

Although the pain sucks, I'm glad it isn't something worse than what the doctor said. Hopefully the painkillers kick in soon and you'll be feeling better in no time. I never knew that about having contractions to pass stuff. I wonder if that is what happened to me a few months ago when I woke up in horrible pain several times throughout the night. I tried everything, going to the bathroom, walking, holding my breath, laying on my left side....nothing made it better. All I could do was hold onto my stomach and cry. It only lasted that night and a little the next day though, and then it was gone.


----------



## klemoncake

StephieB said:


> Another bitter and extremely cynical and sarcastic LTTC-er here looking to join in if possible??
> 
> I admit I actually used to be a pretty regular contributor to BnB when I was all positive about TTC, now 2 and a bit years down the line the bitterness of LTTC has slowly turned my soul to stone, and then I avoided this place because, low and behold, it was full of people getting their BFP or pregnant (like it was a huge shock to me, I'm an idiot!) now i feel like making a come back! :gun:
> 
> My very first rant on here will mirror many of yours!
> 
> 1) Facebook. Well done to you on the announcement of your fourth pregnancy with yet another man . Bravo slag face!! For my friends with children who have been lucky enough to not be deleted, I do not give two shits how often you have changed a nappy today, or how long your 'angel' let you sleep. You would't care to know how many times my cat shits in a day, and I care even less about your childs bowels!!
> 
> 2) Marrying into the worlds most fertile family. I kid you not. There have been 4 (yes, 4!) babies born into this family since we were married in October, with another 3 on the way and here I am, barren bloody Betty with nada! One cousin in law got pregnant just so she could have more maternity leave because she was "bored of work". She has a 6 month old, HOW IS THAT FAIR?! Just to top it off, the latest child was born the same week our baby would have been born had we not had a miscarriage. Thanks life, you big twat!
> 
> 3) LTTTC turning me into a bitter and twisted woman. Seriously, sometimes I don't even like myself! Every time I hear a pregnancy announcement, I just leave. I have left family dinners, christmas parties, meetings at work, I just walk out. Funny thing is we are LTTTC in secret, so I must just seem like a very strange woman. I physically cannot be happy for pregnant people anymore, they should tell you that will happen as soon as you TTC.
> 
> 4) As I have mentioned we had a miscarriage in September. My first round of Clomid failed miserably, with AF arriving on our DUE DATE! ](*,)
> 
> 5) Even now when we are supposedly taking a 'break' from TTC, I still know I'm ovulating tomorrow, I have still lured my unsuspecting DH to bed even though I am actually getting pretty bored of sex, and I will still be heartbroken when AF arrives, only this time, I will have to be heartbroken alone, because I'm supposed to be 'taking a break'.
> 
> LTTTC sucks arse. Sorry my rant got a little bit long there! Phew feel better though! :winkwink:

Oh THANKYOU FOR THIS! number 1and 3 especially!! I've been stalking lttc for a while but finally come over after a year of ttc. I've walked out of so many things when the talk turns to babies...my work is OBSESSED!! everyday i was asked when are you having a baby/everyone who's ever worked here has got pregnant/why don't you have a baby. it go so much, i had to get signed off work with stress and anxiety. anyway, first day back tomo and the thought of it all starting again kills me (esp as AF starts today!!! great timing). its so good to find people who understand...i love this thread!! xx


----------



## StephieB

> Oh THANKYOU FOR THIS! number 1and 3 especially!! I've been stalking lttc for a while but finally come over after a year of ttc. I've walked out of so many things when the talk turns to babies...my work is OBSESSED!! everyday i was asked when are you having a baby/everyone who's ever worked here has got pregnant/why don't you have a baby. it go so much, i had to get signed off work with stress and anxiety. anyway, first day back tomo and the thought of it all starting again kills me (esp as AF starts today!!! great timing). its so good to find people who understand...i love this thread!! xx


:hugs: I was signed off work with stress and anxiety just before christmas for 3 weeks, and I completely understand that sinking feeling you get the few days leading up to going back! :nope: If it helps I found that I had definitely built myself up far too much, and I actually enjoyed going back to work and seeing my colleagues again. I hope it all goes well :flower:

I have been away for the good old inter web this weekend ladies as England is HOT! :happydance: Currently 29c where I am (apparently 84f) I know that for some of you lucky ladies seeing a sun in the sky is an everyday thing, but for us this has been glorious! I have spent all weekend out and about with my husband, walked a grand total of 20miles and have a pretty good tan coming on! For once I am thankful my new job doesn't start til July, so today will be spent in the garden with some crappy magazines and an alcoholic beverage!! Enough to put a smile on my bitter and twisted face! :thumbup:


Sorry to here the witch turned up for so many of you! Hopefully some of the pain has died down! When I was younger (15/16) I was once hospitalised twice because of period pains, as I've gotten older they're much better, but a lot of drugs needed! Hence why I was highly surprised when they discovered nothing wrong with my uterine area during IF investigations! 

*my rant for the day*

While enjoying a frankly, gorgeous, walk in a local park this weekend with DH and MIL, she announced that a friend of the family was expecting her third child and "She is ever so angry at herself, because she did not want another baby, not when they are building the new house. She couldn't stop crying when she found out" Oh boo fucking hoo for her!!!!! :dohh:


----------



## StephieB

Oh and fpcco08 HUGE congratulations :happydance::happydance:


----------



## BearsMummy

Am I completely surrounded by morons? Maybe it's time to move.

I live on an estate with LOADS of single mums (I'm not digging at single mums, just stating a fact) and 3 of my neighbours are downstairs smoking and gossiping while their babies/kids are left to their own devices. All my windows are wide open as like stephie pointed out, it is very bloody hot here at the moment. They are talking about the amount of time they would like between each child (oh to have that choice huh?) and they said they would not leave it too long a gap between their children, not like her upstairs.

Now, I take 'her upstairs' to mean me, seeing as the lady who lives on the same floor as me is an spinster in her 80's. How dare they presume they know anything about me? I do not associate with these people, they know nothing about my life!! Bunch of ignorant bitches!!

And how about even settling down and find a nice decent man before you start planning your next child?? Yes, they were even talking about how many men they 'had, had' UUUURGH!!!! They should be ashamed of themselves!!

Yes I am in a bad, evil, bitter bitchy mood.


----------



## fpcco08

StephieB said:


> Oh and fpcco08 HUGE congratulations :happydance::happydance:

Thank you hun :hugs: Keep your head up. Honestly, I think sometimes it comes when you least expect it. I know things like that can get under your skin when people tell you to relax, or don't think about it and stuff like that. Some of us don't get the privilege of being able to closely choose exactly when we become pregnant. And that really freaking sucks. For others, its just as easy as thinking about it, and its done. Others, its simply "an accident" I recently posted a loong post about 17 pregnancies occurring in a 2 year period at my work. My work does not have a lot of employees at a time. Only about 30 at a time, tops. By the time all the pregnant women would leave for maternity leave, there was a handful more to take their place. All of them occurring accidentally. Its not fair. But when I look back and think about all of the accidental pregnancies that happened, and the parents that didn't deserve them, and most of them treat their kids like crap. The one girl I mentioned is 4 months along and still smoking, drinking, and partying with a baby bump. But us, when it happens, we will be terrific mothers. Those children will be our world because of how hard it was to have them. We will never take them for granted, and they will be raised in a happy home with lots of love. Our children will not be inside being entertained by their own devices while we sit outside gossiping with friends and smoking cigarettes. These are just the things that made me feel better through my LTTC journey. I hope it might help to lighten your load a little bit too. :hugs:


----------



## StephieB

BearsMummy said:


> Am I completely surrounded by morons? Maybe it's time to move.
> 
> I live on an estate with LOADS of single mums (I'm not digging at single mums, just stating a fact) and 3 of my neighbours are downstairs smoking and gossiping while their babies/kids are left to their own devices. All my windows are wide open as like stephie pointed out, it is very bloody hot here at the moment. They are talking about the amount of time they would like between each child (oh to have that choice huh?) and they said they would not leave it too long a gap between their children, not like her upstairs.
> 
> Now, I take 'her upstairs' to mean me, seeing as the lady who lives on the same floor as me is an spinster in her 80's. How dare they presume they know anything about me? I do not associate with these people, they know nothing about my life!! Bunch of ignorant bitches!!
> 
> And how about even settling down and find a nice decent man before you start planning your next child?? Yes, they were even talking about how many men they 'had, had' UUUURGH!!!! They should be ashamed of themselves!!
> 
> Yes I am in a bad, evil, bitter bitchy mood.

Sod them good for nothing busy bodies!! :finger:They remind me of a group of girls I went to school with who have these types of conversations on Facebook....as if I give a shit!!

Ahhh fpcco08 that post was just lovely :cry: I agree with you, I just know I am going to be one of those pregnant woman/mothers that everyone says is too overprotective, and I'm going to love it :haha:


----------



## Just_married

BearsMummy said:


> Am I completely surrounded by morons? Maybe it's time to move.
> 
> I live on an estate with LOADS of single mums (I'm not digging at single mums, just stating a fact) and 3 of my neighbours are downstairs smoking and gossiping while their babies/kids are left to their own devices. All my windows are wide open as like stephie pointed out, it is very bloody hot here at the moment. They are talking about the amount of time they would like between each child (oh to have that choice huh?) and they said they would not leave it too long a gap between their children, not like her upstairs.
> 
> Now, I take 'her upstairs' to mean me, seeing as the lady who lives on the same floor as me is an spinster in her 80's. How dare they presume they know anything about me? I do not associate with these people, they know nothing about my life!! Bunch of ignorant bitches!!
> 
> And how about even settling down and find a nice decent man before you start planning your next child?? Yes, they were even talking about how many men they 'had, had' UUUURGH!!!! They should be ashamed of themselves!!
> 
> Yes I am in a bad, evil, bitter bitchy mood.

Jeezo, what a silly bunch! Probably just taking a break from watching Jeremy Kyle lol. I think the benefits system gears some young girls up for a career of single parenthood tbh. 

I was a single parent from 8 weeks pregnant onwards. Right up until I married my dh last year. I worked the whole time, also studied part time & got a degree. Also volunteered for my local church & led a ministry which supported other single parent families & emotionally & spiritually & used to drive the families on day trips in mini bus etc. I always chose to count my blessings & I had a couple of friends in similar situations of parenthood but I could never ever imagine any of us having a conversation like that! Ugh! It makes me so angry! I know single parenthood can't be avoided sometimes, but to plan your family without Considering the father, without building a foundation with someone & preparing yourself & the kids you have for an addition. Children need to be wanted, longed for, appreciated, accommodated....

That's a right silly bunch of neighbours you have. If I was you I would have coughed loudly and shut my window ha x


----------



## NavyWife84

BearsMummy said:


> Am I completely surrounded by morons? Maybe it's time to move.
> 
> I live on an estate with LOADS of single mums (I'm not digging at single mums, just stating a fact) and 3 of my neighbours are downstairs smoking and gossiping while their babies/kids are left to their own devices. All my windows are wide open as like stephie pointed out, it is very bloody hot here at the moment. They are talking about the amount of time they would like between each child (oh to have that choice huh?) and they said they would not leave it too long a gap between their children, not like her upstairs.
> 
> Now, I take 'her upstairs' to mean me, seeing as the lady who lives on the same floor as me is an spinster in her 80's. How dare they presume they know anything about me? I do not associate with these people, they know nothing about my life!! Bunch of ignorant bitches!!
> 
> And how about even settling down and find a nice decent man before you start planning your next child?? Yes, they were even talking about how many men they 'had, had' UUUURGH!!!! They should be ashamed of themselves!!
> 
> Yes I am in a bad, evil, bitter bitchy mood.

Wow...I don't know how you didn't yell out the window to b*tch them out!!! Okay, I might not have yelled out the window, but I definitely would have confronted them. I would have told them all about my struggles with LTTTC and the awful emotional and physical battle I have been going through just to make them feel like sh*t. And then I would congratulate them for moving from meaningless relationship to meaningless relationship and bringing children in this world who will have unstable lives due to irresponsible parents. (I am not bashing single mothers. I know many single mothers that do a wonderful job and are single by no fault of their own. However, the ladies you describe do not fall under the category of single mothers that get my respect.)

Just_Married: You are one of those women who does get my respect. You sound like a wonderful mother and friend :)


----------



## wonderstars

I'm taking mental notes about where you all live and will never visit or live there, haha. My gawd! :wacko:

StephB, those nappy updates are the WORST. Ugh. Best thing Facebook did was to create an "unfollow" button. That way your friend doesn't think you've defriended her.

I have one friend that just gave birth and she's so bad that she's even turned away my other pregnant and new mom friends! Seriously. Not just photos but the stupidest updates ever. 

"oh baby needed his diaper changed, I'm even finding poop cute, I love being a mom"

"oh, time for another cute poop!".

And more on breast milk poop.


Aaaaargh!!!! :dohh:


----------



## StephieB

Wonderstars, They actually drive me mad! :growlmad: Why do they think we want to know all about their childs bowel movements?! I'm sue their son or daughter will be very proud of these updates when they are turning 18, and we can still remember their first poo that wasn't white! :haha:


----------



## BearsMummy

I was a single mother myself for a few years, but I worked hard, never took a day off sick, paid my own rent and didn't claim benefits so I could sit on my arse all day smoking and gossiping about my neighbours! 
I want my child(ren?) to grow up with good work ethics, and good morals all round.I want to Charlie to respect the fact that I went out to work and earned my money and paid the bills. I don't know, maybe I was bought up different to these people, I just don't understand that kind of life.

I didn't say anything to these dumb arses, because they are beneath me and I shouldn't have let myself be upset by such low-lifes.


----------



## CatLady80

Ltttc for 10 yrs now. Just went through another year of clomid and Femara. My place of work was very insensitive to the way these Meds made me feel but I guess thats what I get for working with children or adults who act like children. 
I was using the money to pay for fertility treatments but the Stress got to me and I quit. Im taking a break this month but its frustrating because for the first time I had good results!
The 7.5 Femara worked for me last month, I just had no egg implantation.
Without the meds I do not grow or ovulate eggs, I won't even have a cycle either.
So im sitting here trying to decide what I should do.
My stress lvl is rly high, my weight is at 160. I want to not go back to work right now and maybe try and drop the weight, deal with the Pcos, maybe if I do my diabetes will go away. And maybe this will up my chances for getting preg?
My husband is willing to work for the both of us so that I can have the opportunity..but the concept of me not working to help out is kinda killin me.
But id be a fool to pass by the chance to make myself healthy again.

Im 32 and I have the overwhelming feeling that time is running out.
Im down to 1 ovary, 1 tube and a refurbished uterus lol. How do you even take a ttc break? Especialy when I don't want to stop trying!

Thx for the vent!


----------



## BearsMummy

:hugs: Catlady


----------



## Just_married

Well I ranted my head off about af from hell over weekend. After a visit to hospital and being drugged to the eyeballs sun & Monday I spent the day crying after hearing a friend workmate from the island I used to live on died at age 52 from cancer. A really decent guy whom I liked to bits. Then today I log onto bragbook to see a scan pic from my teenage cousin (she's not even on my FB, I deleted her as her statuses were full of getting drunk & swearing, but it was on my feed cos my other cousin commented on it). She had over 50 comments congratating her. Grrrr!


----------



## Armywife84

Just Married- Did they have an explanation as to what in the world you were passing? Is it particularly normal for you to have a terrible AF every blue moon? 

Sounds incredibly painful and I'm glad they gave you the, "good stuff". :thumbup:

Bears- Oh dear, sounds like the neighborhood has gone to the slags! :rofl: It certainly is time to move! 

Fpcco08- Congrats and hoping your bean is sticky! :flower:

CatLady- 160 doesn't sound overweight! :shrug: I would say you're healthy. Especially if your weight tends to fluctuate. Mine does and if I'm close to my max BMI, the GP fusses. I can't be bothered with it, because it will go back down in due time. 

Try the weight loss just to mark it off your list. 

My Rant as of Today:

-The crap weather has flooded the courtyard. 
-Cue the humidity in this Southern heat. :dohh:
-Every television show I have watched so far today deals with pregnancy or an infant. Is there any show to watch that isn't about procreation??!! I need more trashy reality shows and less, "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant, A Baby Story" etc. 
-And the pregnant cow's bump at work is getting bigger. :cry: Go on maternity leave already! Here I am in the toilet at work angrily changing my tampon. :growlmad::haha:

I had such a shit day (with AF, SIL pregnancy looming over my head, work, etc.), that I treated myself to a pair of lovely DVF wedges!:cloud9:


----------



## CatLady80

Armywife84-
Ya Im gonna try the lose weight thing again. im 4ft10..so 160 on me is funny.
I need to figure out how to tweek myself as I hardly eat at all---feels wierd to eat multiple times a day but I guess im in storage mode.

With my daughter I was 105--end preg weight was 230. I have major hormone malfunctons and I guess its the pcos.

Want to buy motivation!
(when I was in the Army I never had a prob working out, now im a part of my couch.)


----------



## Armywife84

CatLady80 said:


> Armywife84-
> Ya Im gonna try the lose weight thing again. im 4ft10..so 160 on me is funny.
> I need to figure out how to tweek myself as I hardly eat at all---feels wierd to eat multiple times a day but I guess im in storage mode.
> 
> With my daughter I was 105--end preg weight was 230. I have major hormone malfunctons and I guess its the pcos.
> 
> Want to buy motivation!
> (when I was in the Army I never had a prob working out, now im a part of my couch.)

Don't be so hard on yourself hun, battling PCOS is difficult. A friend of mine eats extremely healthy and lightly exercises, the weight just won't budge on her. :nope:

The sofa is comforting when you've had a crap day. :hugs:


----------



## Armywife84

In light of a recent thread, I feel the need to climb on my soapbox.

While I commend those LTTCers who can have a positive attitude with pregnant women, feel happy around infants (seriously, more power to you), let's face it there's very few "perks" when it comes to IF. Yeah, the flat tummy, more money, freedom, a regular sleep schedule, the option to go on trips, pay off debts, etc. However, I know each and every one of us on this site would rather have a baby than those few perks. There's nothing really that positive about LTTC. Eventually that hope and positivity runs out, for a lot of us. Trust me I've tried to focus on the positives, but it just doesn't work. :shrug:

I understand why pregnant women attack us on here. Come on, if you're pregnant and conceived within a matter of a few months, why the feck are you on LTTC? However when it's a LTTCer that attacks us, I just shake my head. All that positivity will run out one day. 

Another thing is while we seem vile and bitter cows on here, take into account how we interact with society. We're faced daily with pregnant SILs, baby showers, losses, TTC friends, christenings, no support in this journey, MIL's comments, whinny pregnant co-workers, :bfn:s, milestones, failed rounds of Clomid, fights with our DHs about IF, depression, anxiety, etc. BUT we still fake our happy face and go on about our day. That's HARD to do!! 

So I believe we deserve LTTC and to come on here to rant all we want. It's evident that none of us can let this pent up anger, bitterness, sadness out in the world without being judged. Thus we let it out in here, where these lovely ladies understand! 

Last few notes:

Does a child who punches an adult in the stomach deserve to be slapped? Yes! There are parents who believe in physically discipling a child when necessary. Since I'm not a parent, I don't judge their parenting technique. 

Do pregnant women deserve to be called cows? Unless they're whiny ones who moan about everything (I'm not talking about ones who are having a serious difficult pregnancy) cause harm to their fetus in what they ingest, or claim they don't want their baby then no. With that being said, majority of the pregnant women we vent about are cows. 

I love the LTTC forum and all the ladies I've met. That includes the ones who have ended their journey with a :bfp: (no, they are not cows) and the ones who are still here. 

That is all.


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## CatLady80

I totaly agree. I fake the "happy" on a daily basis but anyone who is around me for a bit of time really sees it. I hate to see other women with their kids and babies. I hate to be in a fertility office and a women with a baby walks in like its nothing. I want to yell to put her in another waiting room! But I know its not proper to do so. 
I have become a very angry person. I don't keep friends because I don't want to have to pretend to be happy around them. TTC has become my life, my entire world and reason for being. 10 years of fail has destroyed me and my way of thinking. I am very judgemental. I am very angry.

People don't want to be around people who are sick. I ask my husband everyday why he chose to marry me and everyday he has to tell me other things I am good at. Not being able to give him a son is imbarrassing to me.
Yes, I am harsh in my way of thinking. 

So many of us have to just deal with the stupidity everyday. I think we have the right to vent. If I didn't I don't know what I would do.:growlmad:


----------



## sweetmere

I found this thread searching for another one...I hope you all don't mind me ranting with you. We've only been actively trying for 6 months and started NTNP 2 months before that, so altogether 8 months. I'm 21 and hubby is 25...I can't imagine how hard it must be for all of you and I'm praying for each and every one of you. I'm sorry if I upset any of you because I know 8 months is absolutely nothing, and I'm not trying to say it is. I think the main reason 8 months is upsetting to me is because I was an "accident" child. I was conceived WITH a condom. Then, my mother conceived my brother on her first try...she's also had a miscarriage (which she says she was on birth control) and she has had another miscarriage while her tubes were tied. She's pretty fertile, atleast, and she's already kind of hinted that she feels like something may not be quite right. Her entire family has quite a few kids and they have them easily. My dad's family is super, SUPER fertile. Almost every one of them has 4-6 kids and twins are everywhere with them. I was an accident and my dad/mom broke up when he found out about me...he got a new girlfriend and that very month my brother was conceived. 

My husbands' cousin tried for over 2 years for her first, a girl (I wasn't around when she finally got pregnant so I'm not sure what finally did it for her). Then while trying for her second, she has had a few miscarriages and is finally about 25 weeks along with a little boy. My step-dad's nephew and his wife tried for over 2 years without telling anyone until they conceived. I remember as soon as my husband and I got married, she said in response to someone asking that we would probably get pregnant before they did, and I had no idea they were trying. They're now due in July with a precious little princess!!! 

I know I may not be making anyone feel better but I am sending you all SO much baby dust!! I've wanted to be a mommy for as long as I remember. It's the thing I want most...as soon as we got married I wanted to start trying. I feel like we've been trying for a year atleast now, because I kept somehow hoping we would have an "accident" before we stopped using birth control. Obviously that didn't happen, because here I am, we haven't used any type of protection for 8 months and here I am, not pregnant. 

You all deserve to be mommies and I will definitely be checking back, looking for bfp's!! I am also friends with a few women on Instagram for iPhone who are LTTC. One of them just got a bfp after 19 months of trying (clomid, metformin, etc.) . She gave up the month before and she and her husband decided they were going to trade their cars in for smaller ones and just go on vacations and maybe adopt later in life. That month, she got pregnant. I'm definitely not saying "just relax and it will happen" because I know that is one of the most annoying things to hear...but it will happen!!! :)

Now for things that have aggravated me:

-a girl I work with got pregnant on the first try. She rubs it in my face CONSTANTLY...talks about how she "knows how I feel" because the day before her bfp she cried because she just knew she would never get pregnant. She rubs her stomach all day and talks about how pregnancy sucks and her feet hurt. The other day she had the stupidity to tell me she won't wear a bikini because if I saw her boobs I'd never want to be pregnant, they were just so big! I have DD boobs and hers are MAYBE a c cup right now. I laughed at her, it was one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. She's had the EASIEST PREGNANCY!!! Oh, and she had her crib picked out a while back, she showed it to me on her phone and said they were picking it up that weekend. Well, hubby and I had been looking at one too. I showed it to her and a few weeks later I went to her house and she showed me the nursery..ends up she got the crib I showed her!!! I should have known then not to share anything else with her. But I did - she was showing me things she wanted on her daughters' wall, quotes, etc...so I showed her ONE that I have always, always loved and then lo and behold a month or so later she was like "Oh!! Did I show you the quote I had so-and-so put on a canvas for the nursery? I've been wanting it FOREVER!!" i knew somehow it was the one I showed her before I looked, and of course, it was. I was so mad that day, it was a good 2 months ago and I'm still so livid. I'll never forgive her for that. She has either something against me, or some kind of jealousy issue...not sure what it is but I have to work with her and soon she'll have the baby and I'll have to deal with THAT.

Also there's 8 of us girls at work and I just found out another one is pregnant, on ACCIDENT, and didn't want another child. She has a 10 year old daughter already.

I've already had the few people I've told tell me to relax, quit thinking about it, everything happens for a reason, God has a reason you're not pregnant and others are, it's not a big deal.......etc. Those same 2 girls and I were talking just today and I mentioned it's been 8 months since we've used birth control and their jaws both dropped so I had to listen to them tell me that for a 21 year old, 8 months is a long time and I need to see the doctor.

My facebook is full of 18 year olds having twins, juniors in high school getting pregnant left and right, women my age having their second and third child...about 6 couples I know got married around the same time we did and all of them but us and one other couple (who we know aren't trying or wanting children for a long time) are pregnant or just had a kid. Oh, and we had 62 boys and girls in the graduating class of our town, and 3 of them were noticeably pregnant. 

& let me tell you, it didn't make me feel any better. But it hurts so much reading polls and conversations where the person asks "how long did it take you to conceive??" and 90% of them, no matter the age, say it was an accident, or happened the first, second, or third try...

*sigh*

& of course, as soon as I sent this, the movie husband is watching...the girl got pregnant the first time she had sex. Give me a break!!! How on earth do accidents happen??


----------



## wonderstars

Thank you Armywife. That was so well said.'

I never created this thread intending to be one where people thought we were cows. I wanted a place where I could come, vent, and be able to go about my every day. It's what helps me function. I have friends with babies, pregnant friends, pregnant coworkers. I attend their showers, gloat about their belly and I am genuinely happy for them. However, I feel genuinely bad for me and I have to find an outlet for my sadness.

I work in the healthcare field and I hear people *itch and moan about everything and I can't say a word about infertility. I love that I can say it here. I love that I can look at these posts and "thank goodness I'm not the only one that feels the same".

This thread makes me feel SANE.

Thank you all you wonderful cows that post here!

Moo? :mamafy:


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## Just_married

Armywife, no explanation, just that it was what your body needs to do to pass larger clots etc. I have my own idea, never had pains like that unless labour/mc so I think it's been a v. Early one bit I won't say to dh as he's terrified it was that. We all know our own bodies & what's normal etc, and my hormones have been crazy. I have been bursting into tears since last week, not normal at all. But here is the only place I'll voice my opinion on what happened, dh doesn't want to think it was mc and doc didn't bother with blood test etc. If it was that then it would even have bn a step forward as I've not been able to get pregnant for over a year. 

On another subject, of course nosey old me went searching for the other thread. So annoyed that it's now closed as I was going to respond and say she should have courage to respond appropriately to who she was referring to as she was being a hypocrite slanting off and venting about someone who SHE FEELS is doing that. 

I mean, this IS a venting thread. A safe place to speak about what's upsetting us. I personally did respond to someone previously on this thread as I felt they went too far calling their nephew a swearword & wishing a loss upon someone. But since then I would not be a part of this thread if I believed it was inappropriate or evil or full of 'bitter, selfish cows'. 

If we don't want to attend events about babies because it is painful and we don't want people asking personal questions about having kids then I think that's actually mature & sensitive! 

As for suggesting a mother ltttc wd love a baby more than someone who conceives quickly, well I don't think anybody ever suggested that, only that a baby longed for and waited for would be more appreciated than one conceived in a month or two. 

I can see why she needed to create her own venting thread as if she tried that on here she would have been put in her place very quickly by you ladies. I have never virtually met such a caring bunch who really understand. 

Love to all xxx


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## BearsMummy

Well said Army!!

I didn't reply to that thread when it was still open, because I would have been so rude back! And I think thats what she wanted in all honesty! I didn't find being called a 'selfish, bitter cow' at all insulting, I AM a selfish, bitter cow!! 

As I have said before, we all deal with IF in our own personal ways, why should we have to conform to one persons beliefs? She had no right to tell us how to behave! 

And yes, I come here to rant and vent, because I can. Because I can be honest here and you ladies understand me. Sometimes its not appropriate IRL to act the way I want to, and say the things I can say on here.

Lots of Love from
A Selish, Bitter Cow
xx


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## StephieB

Couldn't have said it better myself Army :thumbup: I'm actually glad the thread had been closed by the time I noticed that it existed because I would have been so rude back, and I'm such a lovely woman usually :haha:

I honestly wish her the best if she can cope with infertility AND be happy for pregnancies around her, but i just don't...well just HOW?! Even pregnancies I see on TV make me want to throw things at it, its like everyone around you winning the lottery, and yet there you are with your last £2 and nothing in the fridge. How can you NOT be annoyed/pissed off/bitter etc?? 

I'm bitter and I don't care at all, I'll carry on being bitter until/if i get a :bfp: so :finger: to anyone who it upsets!


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## SunUp

Yay ARMY! That post was so irritating!
My rant - OK, SO WHAT if I was overly quiet at the baby shower. I found out my IUI - my first IUI - was unsuccessful... THAT DAY! SO No, I didn't want to talk all about babies. Yes, I still did want to be there for my friend but I DON'T HAVE TO BE TALKING ALL THE TIME. It wasn't my shower it doesn't matter if I feel like talking or not.
Ugh. And then the famous "are you going to have a baby soon" 
Yes, I'll just walk right up and take one from aisle 12 in the baby store.


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## Armywife84

@ Moo :rofl::rofl:


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## Maurie

I totally agree Army!! Very nicely said :) 


Rant:
I want to scream!!! :brat:
I was doing very well with everything. I am having a great week, Getting over the milestone of people on their second baby before I could have one!... Thats fine whatever

What I cant handle, is someone posting about their friends labor point by point. . . On IV now. 3 cm dilated... They are breaking her water!!! 
I don't Fricking care! I am not friends with her on FB... I don't even know her, Please stop posting... If her friends want updates POST ON HER WALL NOT YOUR FEED!!!
So I hid her, No big right? Got on my IPad, apparently you can hide people on that app, I thought it would carry over. :growlmad: WTH???
To top it off, it is a cousin who is fully aware of our struggles. I may just delete her :gun:, wonder how much cow poo :mamafy:that would stir in the family? But today I am not sure how much I care.:finger:

I am in my TWW 9dpo, but cant test until 14 :( Damn trigger shot. Last time I got my BFP at 12dpo, sucks it didnt last... I may POAS anyway lol 

Ah, sorry ladies Hope everyone is doing well today :flower:
BTW- I LOVE these smilies they are so much fun!


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## StephieB

Ahhh Maurie :hugs: had a similar Facebook experience once. There is only one thing I care less about than another children bowels, and thats whats going on with other womans vaginas! :dohh:


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## trying hard

My rant...

I look after other peoples toddlers at my home for my job...One of the mums is now just about due and this morning one of the other mums told me she is expecting...TWINS!!!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OVER IT. They all suck!


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## StephieB

Just logged onto Facebook to see a "my babies progress week 13" for yet another pregnant cousin on my DH. So thats 7 babies in as many months...with a family BBQ this weekend (that sadly I can't get out of) where everyone will be just so pleased to sit and talk about it all day while toddlers, babies and pregnant family lounge around :cry:

Not feeling good today


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## Armywife84

StephieB said:


> Just logged onto Facebook to see a "my babies progress week 13" for yet another pregnant cousin on my DH. So thats 7 babies in as many months...with a family BBQ this weekend (that sadly I can't get out of) where everyone will be just so pleased to sit and talk about it all day while toddlers, babies and pregnant family lounge around :cry:
> 
> Not feeling good today

Sounds like you need to get out and go to the most bacteria laden, germ area and breathe in those viruses. By the time the BBQ comes, you'll be much too sick to be around the pregnant and little ones. Must not get them sick!! :haha::haha:


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## sweetmere

-0p;.lllllllllljmhhhhhhhhkI'm happy for pregnant women and all, but there's one girl on my Facebook who is pregnant and she just so happens to be the one I work with who rubs it in my face that she got pregnant the first try and I very much did not. The one who stole the quote I wanted and the crib dh and I were looking at.

Her statuses always, ALWAYS have the following in them...I've had to hide them.

"we are absolutely BLESSED"
"love to feel my precious miracle moving around"
"i can't wait to meet my beautiful angel, we're so blessed!!"
"we're the luckiest parents ever! :)"
"our little angel is going to be so spoiled!!"

...it's just overkill. Always has to be a status like that. It never fails. It's too braggy to be completely accidental. All day, every day. Not to mention weekly belly pictures and she recently had one where she was sitting with a dumb smile on her face holding her belly with a caption like the above^^^.

She also tells me every few weeks how as soon as they have this little girl (July) they're trying for another one. Chances are, she'll be pregnant with that one before me, too. 

I had a dream last night she was buying a pregnancy test at work, and I started crying right then and there.


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## CatLady80

I am finding it funny that the other women in my family are so fertile that they have been surrogate moms for women overseas. They keep having twins for people and get paid thousands to do so.
And then theres me.
O and my cousin just called to say shes preg AGAIN with her 4th, she has 1 child per husband. GAH!


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## wonderstars

Catlady, I'm looking at your signature and the Doctor saying no caffeine. I can't believe we even have to concentrate on crap like that!

I refuse to give up my 1 cup of coffee. I've given up everything and I still don't have my BFP. Maybe if I say f* it all, it'll happen? :shrug:

I think I may have been overstimulated this last cycle of Clomid 50mg. I was literally double over in ovulation pain last night......

Watch, I'm going to conceive 10 babies. :dohh:


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## tamithomas

What pisses me off is my Hubby and I have been TTC for 3 years now, this was before everyone I knew started having kids like as if it was the Louis Vutton purse of the month. 3 years later, I have a handful who are on their 2nd child!!!! The record I've heard so far was one of my "friends" whom I simply deleted because she's the type of post a thousand and 1 pictures of her kids and pregnancy, I just couldn't handle it.. got pregnant 4 months after giving birth to her first!!! 4 months!!!!!!!! On top of that, her first one was an accident. To make this a long story short, everyone's had their oops babies meanwhile 3 years later, our cradle is still empty and it hurts horribly. Especially when the more you try to avoid the topic of kids and pregnancy, the more it seems to show up in your life on tv, on the internet and even in your every day life.


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## tamithomas

forgot to mention, I don't go to family reunions anymore.. they are too heart breaking, kids EVERYWHERE! I refuse to go because last time I tried to go while we were TTC 2 years ago, I drank myself silly so to prevent hurting myself I just don't go. The excuse "we are snowed in" works like a charm every time since we live 6 hours away since it's always at christmas.


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## StephieB

> Sounds like you need to get out and go to the most bacteria laden, germ area and breathe in those viruses. By the time the BBQ comes, you'll be much too sick to be around the pregnant and little ones. Must not get them sick!!

:haha: Army that really made me laugh! You must also be psychic as I am genuinely sick this morning, woke up at 5am all dizzy and nauseous and have been in bed with a bucket since :blush: What I love about the LTTTC ladies is that if I said that in TTC forum, woman would be convincing me it was a PG symptoms, not just a dodgy chinese last night! 

Oh no, hope you're OK wonderstars! If you have 10, can you share a few out between us? :thumbup: I had to take super strength pain killers my first round of clomid during ovulation, not that a bloody worked. All pain no gain in this TTC malarky! FX's for you!


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## StephieB

tamithomas said:


> forgot to mention, I don't go to family reunions anymore.. they are too heart breaking, kids EVERYWHERE! I refuse to go because last time I tried to go while we were TTC 2 years ago, I drank myself silly so to prevent hurting myself I just don't go. The excuse "we are snowed in" works like a charm every time since we live 6 hours away since it's always at christmas.

I wish I had this excuse! My DHs family can just about see our house from they bedroom window ](*,) I think my family BBQ coupled with my growing illness, I will also have some imagery work deadline that needs finishing, so will only be able to 'pop by' for 10 minutes or so. God I'm such a bitch, :shrug:


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## tamithomas

StephieB said:


> tamithomas said:
> 
> 
> forgot to mention, I don't go to family reunions anymore.. they are too heart breaking, kids EVERYWHERE! I refuse to go because last time I tried to go while we were TTC 2 years ago, I drank myself silly so to prevent hurting myself I just don't go. The excuse "we are snowed in" works like a charm every time since we live 6 hours away since it's always at christmas.
> 
> I wish I had this excuse! My DHs family can just about see our house from they bedroom window ](*,) I think my family BBQ coupled with my growing illness, I will also have some imagery work deadline that needs finishing, so will only be able to 'pop by' for 10 minutes or so. God I'm such a bitch, :shrug:Click to expand...

I wouldn't say you're a bitch, it's our way of coping. Naturally you don't wanna put yourself in mental stress therefore the best option is to stay home, it's safer for everyone around. I commend you if anything for having the courage to prevent yourself from awkward situations that would only hurt you in the end. :hugs:


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## smallstar

Joy!!!! AF came this morning with a vengeance!!!! ARGGGGHHHH!!!

Just want to curl up in a ball somewhere away from the world :(...pregnant women and BFP announcements EVERYWHERE I look!!!!


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## StephieB

I'm sorry Smallstar :hugs::hugs:

On the plus side, it's Friday, and not just any Friday, but the jubilee Friday, so plenty of excuses to ignore the world, curl up with a bottle of wine (or 5) cry, scream, drink and wallow and take some time out for yourself like you deserve :wine:

:flower:


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## Just_married

Isn't our nhs wonderful? My 16yr old daughter got blood test as she was feeling tired. Nurse tried to insist I waited in waiting room while they took it, but I stayed and just as well as dd no idea why she was getting blood tested. Nurse told her to phone for rests in a week. She forgot (she's a teenager!) and a few weeks later she tried to phone for results & was told they wouldn't give her results on the phone & they had sent out a letter about it saying she needed to see the doctor about results. Except they sent it to our old address. 
Today she finally saw doc (herself) who gave a her a prescription for thyroxine (a hormone you have to take for life) and told her to come back in 5 weeks. If they had let me have anything to do with my CHILDs treatment I would have been able to tell them her thyroid level has dipped twice before & returned to normal itself. Flipping ridiculous! 

So how come she can't drink, can't drive


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## BearsMummy

wonderstars - Can I put my order in for one of those 10 babies? Is it on a first come first served basis? I don't mind, boy or girl. :haha:

smallstar - I'm sorry AF arrrived, Stephie is right, grab a bottle or two, its Jubilee Weekend, you are officially allowed to get as pissed as you want! 

Just_Married - Maybe its worth making another appointment and going with your daughter to discuss this? They are not allowed to say you cannot go, its your daughters right to have someone with her. I hope things are sorted for her soon and shes back to full health soon.

I have no rant...... yet.

I know!! What a shocker! Hold the headlines.... 'Karens in a good mood!'


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## Just_married

Thanks Karen, I'm so glad you have no rant! Yay! What's your secret? Chocolate? Wine? Both?! Lol

Firstly, I apologise for previous rant about nhs. I'm actually calmer now and realise how amazingly fortunate to have an nhs.

I was just fed up as I was sitting in the doctors waiting room after being in pain for a week. Crabby as hell, ready to bop someone on the nose. Been worrying myself silly about last weekend pain/bleeding.

Fortunately, I saw an 'old school' female doc today. What?! She said, you're still in pain? No that's not right, you don't just randomly have a period from hell & suffer for a week, no dear, you have an infection, classic symptoms. Here's some penicillin & antimicrobials! Poor girl!

Phew! At last someone listening and taking me seriously. So, just had lunch and about to fill my belly with pills to make me better.

I also spoke to the doc about my daughter and felt reassured about the whole thing.

Thank you lovely girls for listening to me whinge & vent even though you are going through your own trials. Wish I could hug you all xxx


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## StephieB

Ah brilliant news just_married!! So glad you finally got some answers, it's so frustrating when we know there is something wrong and nobody will acknowledge it! Its like, we know our bodies, we know when somethings wrong! 

Fingers firmly crossed that you start to feel better, and I hope everything with your daughter gets sorted out :flower:


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## smallstar

StephieB & BearsMummy - Youre right might as well...getting sloshed seems like the only good option today...well and maybe the rest of the weekend!!! :winkwink:

I always go down this route when the dreaded AF turns up but then feel guilty in case this has further hindered my baby making chances!!! FML!!! Hate that its never just simple!!! :wacko:

Oh well....bottle of vino here i come!!! he he he

Thanks ladies and hope you all have a good jubilee weekend :kiss:

Good luck to those of you having the awkward baby/small child/pregnant women orientated family/friend get togethers, i had it all last weekend so totally sympathise...and EXTRA good luck to those of you who are still in with a chance of making your BFP dreams possible this weekend!!! :sex:
Im afraid im out so roll on July for me and keeping EVERYTHING crossed for a smidge of good luck to come my way!!!!


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## StephieB

Getting sloshed is what jubilee weekend is all about! I am a firm believed in 'drink til its pink' so every time AF rolls around I make sure theres a bottle of wine and a take away menu to hand! 

I don't have any vents _yet_ but I do have news. After keeping TTC a secret from our families for so long, we've finally composed a blog telling them our secret, and will be sending them all the link tonight. So nervous (I'm a big girl, I can't do it face to face!) 

AF is due next weekend and i think I'm about 6-8dpo (threw the OPKS away this month) so i will be enjoying NOT having sex and not having to wax again for 3 weeks :haha:


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## BearsMummy

Wine, Cider, Vodka, Shots, Brandy, Whiskey, Alcopops, any alcoholic beverage I can get my hands on is my secret!! :rofl:


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## wonderstars

Mmmm.....alcohol.....hey, we're not preggo. Actually, nothing more I'd like to do than go to a restaurant with a pregnant woman and buy some yummy sushi and some saki. Ooooh la la.

smallstar - enjoy AF and drown in alcohol! :winkwink:

Just_married - I've read a lot of frustrating things about the nhs on here.

Steph - Good luck! I'm sure everyone will be super supportive when they find out. 

Bears, how dare you not have a rant?! Don't you know we're supposed to be cows ALL the time. Insult someone darnit! :dohh: :winkwink::haha::blush:

I got nothing baby. Going for dim sum with a preggo friend tomorrow but I'm cool, I have not cried since I got my FS appt. That's A-mazing. :bodyb:


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## Armywife84

Just Married- We all know NHS can be completely unreliable at times (a lot of the time):haha:. 

StephieB- Glad to see you came up with more excuses! 

Do you get a Brazilian done? :shock: I'm can't be bothered with down south, if it's outside of ovulation. :haha:

Rant (non baby related):

-I yelled at DH for the second time about helping with the house work, as I have a full time job now. The flat isn't as spotless and it's driving me mad. He told me all I had to do was ask. Which is complete and utter bs because I have to ask him repeatedly to do one simple task. Maybe he got the message this time :growlmad::dohh:



-


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## uwa_amanda

Armywife84 said:


> Just Married- We all know NHS can be completely unreliable at times (a lot of the time):haha:.
> 
> StephieB- Glad to see you came up with more excuses!
> 
> Do you get a Brazilian done? :shock: I'm can't be bothered with down south, if it's outside of ovulation. :haha:
> 
> Rant (non baby related):
> 
> -I yelled at DH for the second time about helping with the house work, as I have a full time job now. The flat isn't as spotless and it's driving me mad. He told me all I had to do was ask. Which is complete and utter bs because I have to ask him repeatedly to do one simple task. Maybe he got the message this time :growlmad::dohh:
> 
> 
> 
> -

Men...

you can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em :haha:


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## Armywife84

One more! 

Mother bought me a wonderful cookbook before we moved into our second flat. I decided to make a recipe from the book and it turned out horrendous. While I'm no Chef Ramsey, I can certainly cook. Measurements and cook time off, resulting in undercooked potatoes and a cornbread overkill (it was a casserole). :sick: Plus, I was overly frustrated cooking dinner because all I wanted to do was relax after work. I'm sure the rest of the casserole will end up in the bin tomorrow. :growlmad:


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## StephieB

Army - I used to have brazilians done every month at the salon before ovulation...then after the months and months went by I realised that I couldn't afford it, so now it's a 'DIY' waxing kit in the bathroom :haha:

On the bright side, if all else fails you can throw the casserole at DH? :winkwink:


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## BearsMummy

I'm sorry, I really let the side down didn't I??!! 

Erm, I have a migraine today (maybe a hangover, but lets call it a migraine) :haha:

So I am off to cheer myself and OH up by making Lemon Meringue CupCakes!! I am a domestic godess!! :rofl:


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## StephieB

Well I've finally found my vent..

Since I'm far too sick to attend the family BBQ with all the newly pregnant woman and small children, I have left DH there to fend for himself. SUCCESS i think, as I pull into our drive way and feel I have avoided heartache for the time being. Only to get in, switch on the computer to receive an email from a colleague saying she will not be returning from maternity leave in September, as she has just found out that after giving birth 6 months ago she is now 3 months pregnant again....

Great.


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## BearsMummy

The cupcakes didn't turn out too bad considering I have a 'migraine'.

Stephie - Grrr! Just when you think you've pulled a fast one, someone comes and ruins your smugness!!
  



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## StephieB

I just don't understand, how did they even find time to have sex with a 3 month old child?!! :grr:

Those cupcakes look amazing!! You are a domestic goddess after all! :winkwink:


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## BearsMummy

I think if I do ever get pregnant, I will never have sex again!! 

Sex is for making babies, nothing else...... right??? :haha:


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## StephieB

Nope, definitely not for fun or pleasure! :haha:


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## uwa_amanda

BearsMummy said:


> I think if I do ever get pregnant, I will never have sex again!!
> 
> Sex is for making babies, nothing else...... right??? :haha:




StephieB said:


> Nope, definitely not for fun or pleasure! :haha:

Nah...ya don't say...I always wondered why my DH was always about, 'Come 'ere behbe..." :dohh: :rofl:

A lady I work with said her daughter went through all the fertility pills and crap and then came up pregnant. Maybe two or three months later, heffer came up pregnant again. WTF??? How??? :haha:


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## StephieB

I think these people are put on this earth purely to piss us off! Ha you calling her heffer really made me chuckle!


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## tamithomas

StephieB said:


> I just don't understand, how did they even find time to have sex with a 3 month old child?!! :grr:

 I know right?! same thing happened to my cousin and a friend of mine both conceived within 4 months after they gave birth. How the bleep? Most new parents wanna find every chance they get to sleep, not BD! That's why I don't bother with family reunions anymore, too painful especially since I come from a very fertile family the type where they get BFP on the first try type and here i am 3 years later and each year i get the same question "so when is it gonna be your turn?" since i am the youngest cousin and the only one left with no kids. so to save myself i just don't go anymore.


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## Armywife84

StephieB said:


> Army - I used to have brazilians done every month at the salon before ovulation...then after the months and months went by I realised that I couldn't afford it, so now it's a 'DIY' waxing kit in the bathroom :haha:
> 
> On the bright side, if all else fails you can throw the casserole at DH? :winkwink:

:rofl: I just may do that today. He's sitting on the sofa pouting about his headache. I've no sympathy for him, since we have a drawer stocked full of headache medicine. It's like a naughty candy drawer. :dohh:

While I wonder how women are fertile, how the hell can they manage to get pregnant after just having one? Shouldn't their vag be out of service for a while?? :haha: :shrug:

Bears- Those cupcakes have a professional edge to them. It looks as if you used a blow torch to lightly brown the on top. I want one! :hissy: Damn Atlantic.

RANT:

I cannot stand former LTTCers who have gotten their :bfp:, and bash the LTTC forum or other LTTCers. Hypocrite, much? It seems they have magically forgotten they were once in our shoes. The biggest difference is our struggle continues. Thus we're entitled to bitch and vent all we want. :mamafy:


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## uwa_amanda

Moo.


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## wonderstars

Got milk?


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## BearsMummy

Thanks Army! I did use a blow torch!! Well its a 'kitchen torch' but I like to think of it as my little friend blow torch!! (it's the only blowing thats going on in this house!) :blush:

You are all more than welcome for Tea and Cakes whenever you want (how very quaint and English of me!)

I have found an amazing picture that I would like to send to share with my fellow LTTCers, but I would like to point out, that I am not promoting we all become alcoholics! ( as Army was scolded on another thread for saying she can't live without alcohol!)
 



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## BearsMummy

Oh, I've just found my rant! 

In my siggy, you can see I'm waiting to hear from the PCT re my funding for IVF, I have just realised, my countdown is probably out thanks to Her Maj and wanting to celebrate, we have a 2 day bank holiday, which I suppose I shouldn't include in my countdown!!

So an extra 2 days on my wait. GRRRRRRR!!!!!


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## StephieB

Haha bears that picture is great! I could really murder a gin and tonic right now (think its the beefeaters on BBC?) but sadly my cupboards are dry, so jelly babies it is! 

Sorry the jubilee has thrown your dates off, she's a bugger that liz!! 

My rant - Yet another family jubilee 'tea' tomorrow afternoon :dohh: and I've already done the wrong thing of telling them I'm feeling much better. Dammit!


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## rosebud_01_99

hi my vent for today,

after years and years of trying naturally and getting nowhere and doing ivf and getting nowhere i gave in this year and started herbs and accupunture, for the last 6months, well this month my af was a few days late and i had nausa, so i was feeling a little bit hopefull, however stupid stupid me, as i woke up this morn with heavy af staining, and have cramps ect today, i just feel so so stupid, and fed up with the accupuntre and herbs, the lady keeps sayin to me o it takes time to work ect while grabbing the money from my hands, grrrr they are all so money grabbing when it comes to if, im seriously considering stopping this line of treatment soon as at least when im not trying stuff im not getting my hopes up to be dashed. 

then i log on here to read some fellow lttc stories so i have someone to emphasise with, and the first post i go into has a pic of a bfp on it,, seriously , i just started to cry ..... just so fed up right not.


sorry for the rant guys , 

rosebud


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## Armywife84

BearsMummy said:


> Thanks Army! I did use a blow torch!! Well its a 'kitchen torch' but I like to think of it as my little friend blow torch!! (it's the only blowing thats going on in this house!) :blush:
> 
> You are all more than welcome for Tea and Cakes whenever you want (how very quaint and English of me!)
> 
> I have found an amazing picture that I would like to send to share with my fellow LTTCers, but I would like to point out, that I am not promoting we all become alcoholics! ( as Army was scolded on another thread for saying she can't live without alcohol!)

I felt like a naughty child getting scolded for dipping my hand in the cookie jar!!

Seriously, I've also liked the taste of booze and don't drink it excessively as we're still LTTC. There's times when that booze bottle is more comforting than crying in your pillow. :haha:

Rosebud- You're always in my thoughts. In fact, I've been wondering where you were lately. It shouldn't be this thread that has a :bfp: picture. This is a safe, all venting, bitching allowed zone. But do be careful as we have been labeled bitter, vile :mamafy:s. :rofl::rofl:

After 17 years my dear, you ARE entitled to all the ranting and raving you can muster. Come join us?? :flower:


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## wannabemummyb

Hey ladies, hope you are all having a good weekend.

My vent: I just checked my profile and the "friends" list. Out of 7 people all but one are now pregnant! It makes me so sad and angry! Why am i still trapped in this ltttc hell?
Also having another crappy 10 day long period! I hate PCOS


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## Faithlovehope

Hey wannabeamummyb I know exactly how you feel I also have pcos this past month I've been taking vit b complex aswell as 100mg of clomid an my progesterones gone from 4.1 100mg clomid but no b complex to 158 with the b complex so fx'd, your bfp is just waiting round the corner. Somedays I feel I'm never gonna be s mummy an it's the worst all my friends an family are popping them out Like anything. I'm 1 of 7 sisters an I have no babies where as they all have atleast 2 with one having 7!!! Why me :( sorry ladies I don't mean to be a major downer just praying for lots of bfp! Xx


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## wannabemummyb

Faithlovehope said:


> Hey wannabeamummyb I know exactly how you feel I also have pcos this past month I've been taking vit b complex aswell as 100mg of clomid an my progesterones gone from 4.1 100mg clomid but no b complex to 158 with the b complex so fx'd, your bfp is just waiting round the corner. Somedays I feel I'm never gonna be s mummy an it's the worst all my friends an family are popping them out Like anything. I'm 1 of 7 sisters an I have no babies where as they all have atleast 2 with one having 7!!! Why me :( sorry ladies I don't mean to be a major downer just praying for lots of bfp! Xx

I'm afraid I can't offer hugely comforting words. The only thing I can say is, like all the women here you are a strong women, who knows what she wants and is clearly doing everything she can to get there.

Being a strong women, does mean that you need somewhere to get those inner thoughts out every now and then. This thread is perfect for that :hugs:


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## uwa_amanda

Faithlovehope said:


> Hey wannabeamummyb I know exactly how you feel I also have pcos this past month I've been taking vit b complex aswell as 100mg of clomid an my progesterones gone from 4.1 100mg clomid but no b complex to 158 with the b complex so fx'd, your bfp is just waiting round the corner. Somedays I feel I'm never gonna be s mummy an it's the worst all my friends an family are popping them out Like anything. I'm 1 of 7 sisters an I have no babies where as they all have atleast 2 with one having 7!!! Why me :( sorry ladies I don't mean to be a major downer just praying for lots of bfp! Xx

You aren't being a downer...TTC will frustrate the hell out of anybody no matter how long you have been. You need somewhere to let it out, so be my guest to use this venting thread as an outlet if you need to. We are all very supportive ladies on here that completely understand what you are going though. :hugs:


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## Faithlovehope

Thanks so much, I know it's hard for us all just don't know how I'll cope if I keep getting my hopes up. My doctor called Friday an said my progesterone was 158 an she reckons I'm pregnant but af isn't due until Wednesday? Feel like I'm getting excited only to be let down. Part of me wishes she didn't ring! How are you all doing? Thanks again for the support x


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## wonderstars

Bearsmummy - I don't think anyone could fault us for becoming alcoholics, lol. But yes, I hope people realize we're full of cow crap and aren't drowning all our sorrows in EtOH (well, not all the time anyway!)

rosebud - even though we say we've lost hope, when that AF is late it's just hard not to get happy. I blame all of these "miracle" BFPs. Get our hopes up for nothing. 

faithlove & wannabe - do we all have the same group of friends? Ugh, these fertile myrtles, as much as I love 'em, sometimes I despise them. 

My rant:
Just found out DH's sister's friend is preggo. We know her well and she got married much later than we did. I have eaten healthy, I'm working out, I have spent 1 year getting my medications in order and yet, here I am. In the mean time, she takes no care of herself and bingo, pregnant.

I need alcohol. :dohh:


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## Faithlovehope

Wonderstars I think so it's amazing when you think about it I sound harsh but so many people are popping out kids when they don't deserve them, hopefully this time round we can all get our bfp! It's so true when I'm late I can't help but be excited although I'm afraid to admit it through fear I'll jinx a sticky bean. 

I'll second that alcohol! Xx


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## BearsMummy

I have just given birth to a baby girl, I had a wonderful homebirth, no pain releif, I was just starting to write my annoucement for facebook and I asked Bongo what we were going to call her, we agreed on her first name, but I wanted Jane as the middle name ( my dads name is Jan, so a variation on that) but Bongo wanted David which is his middle name, but I don't want that, as it's my ex husbands name, we agreed in Cora-Jane.

Then i woke up........:cry::brat::sad2::hissy:


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## BearsMummy

Why was i even going to put it on FB?? I HATE FB ANNOUNCEMENTS!!!!!


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## StephieB

:hugs: I hate pregnancy dreams Bears!! Seriously, as if don't have to be around it enough when we're awake!! ](*,)

I once had a dream I stole my husbands cousins baby....that was a strange one when I next saw her!


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## BearsMummy

Urgh it's horrible!!

I havent had a dream like that for ages.

And why would we call a girl David??!! :haha:


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## StephieB

Haha :haha: maybe you're onto a new trend there! I don't know whats stranger the fact that you dreamt it, or the fact that I didn't even think twice when I read it...:rofl:


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## BearsMummy

I didn't even realise until I had written the post!!

I have finally lost the plot!


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## Melodystyx

Hi all ben ttc for 14 very long years, stopped all kinds of meds ages ago and just waiting on God.... however, this last week has been my undoing. 
Last sunday had to put my baby down. She was an 11yr old mix dog our little angel,then this saturday we found out my bro and sil are expecting there first together but she has one from prev marriage and him 2from his prev marriage so that brings their total to frekken 3 already... last weekend they were all set on divorce wth!!!

Im tired, angry and just faithless at the moment and no one seems to understand, people try but they all eventually had kids, me i havent even had one positive in 14 years..... 

If i can offer some kind of comfort i can tell you that it does get easier as in not every month do you feel totally useless and angry and and and but you still have your moments....

oh yes and if i hear one more 'well meaning' person tell me to relax i shall scream!

I shall keep you all in my prayers and wait paitently to hear all your good news :-D


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## Faithlovehope

I know how hard it is an can honestly say ttc is one of the worst things to cope with

Very happy to say I got my bfp this morning! Fx'd for one sticky bean xxx


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## zanDark

big hugs Melodystyx :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

and to all the other ladies that need them! :hugs:


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## Armywife84

I had a nightmare the other night. DH's sister was expecting and my aunt who is done with children (past her prime) were both expecting. For some odd reason both women were having baby showers at the in-laws and I was forced to go. I remember they went into delivery at their shower and I ran away crying. Completely horrid nightmare!! 

Rant:

-I wouldn't even know what the hell a BFP looks like. :dohh:

-It's a Monday, need I say more? :coffee:


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## wonderstars

BearsMummy said:


> And why would we call a girl David??!! :haha:

Dude, Jessica Simpson just called her girl Maxwell! :dohh:

:hugs: Melody. I couldn't imagine trying for 14 years. You are a brave, strong lady. I hope you get your positive v. soon

Faithlovehope - congratulations on your bfp. :)

No rant today! I'm down 5 pounds in the last 5 weeks and have about 6 more to go before July 25th (big time appointment). I'm not even counting this clomid cycle as a cycle. I took it just to say I took. I had a dream about IVF...I'm thinking IVF is looming.I also dreamt about rain jackets and it's supposed to rain tonight. I'm on a roll. :thumbup:


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## NavyWife84

~Congrats, Faith!

My rants:
So I spent the weekend with my family, which includes my neice (who was concieved a few months before we started trying and is now a year and a half) and two nephews. And, my brother and SIL were babysitting their neice and nephew for the weekend. I knew there were going to be 5 kids there and wasn't very excited about it, but we were celebrating my mom's birthday, so I couldn't get out of it. Luckily I had a better time than I thought I would. (And I won $40 playing poker against my dad, brother, BIL, and hubby)

We were supposed to go down there (Virginia) on Friday night, but I got a pos OPK, so we had to drive 2 hours north to have my IUI before driving 3 1/2 hours back down south. I didn't really mind, but it was kind of annoying having to turn a 3 hour drive into a 5 1/2 hour drive (and the poor puppies had to sit in the car for 7 hours (they were in the car for the 2 hours it took in the doc's office).

Well, my eye had been bothering me on and off throughout the week but I thought it was just due to my contacts. During the weekend, my eye felt like I had got punched. I couldn't figure out what was wrong, so I just took my contacts out for a day or two. I put my contacts back in on Sunday because we were going out on the boat and I don't have perscription sunglasses. Everything was fine (except for a little blurred vision) until I took out my contacts. As soon as I took them out, I was in severe pain. My eye wouldn't stop tearing and it hurt so bad! I told DH about it, and he said just to close my eyes and go to sleep and that it would probably be better in the morning. Soo, I cried myself to sleep because I was in that much pain! Well, I woke up at 1:30 in the morning in excruciating pain. I woke DH up and told him that he needed to take me to the emergency room because something wasn't right. It was the longest 25 minute drive to the ER ever!!! I thought I had another cornial abrasion (this would make 3). But I was wrong. After poking, prodding, flipping my eyelids inside out, they came to the conclusion that I have a really bad case of pink eye (I'm not surprised, as two of my students had it last week). I have never had pink eye and didn't realize it hurts like that...I thought it only itches. They told me not to go to work for 2 days, however today was my kid's "moving up ceremony" (graduating from kindergarten to first grade) and I really didn't want to miss it. So, after being in the ER from 2-4:00 in the morning, I got up early and I went in to work for the ceremony and celebration and ended up having to take a half a day at work (I am really trying not to use my sick days as I know IVF is in the future and I will need the time for that). I am also going to go to work tomorrow as it is the kids last full day (we have half days the rest of the week) of school and we have a lot to get done! I really hope I didn't give pink eye to any of my kiddos today or any of the 5 kids I was around this weekend.

Oh yeah, and I had to wait at the pharmacy for an hour to refill my perscription!!! I just wanted to go home, take a vicadin (which they perscribed to me for the pain) and go to sleep!!!

Now I was trying to wait up for DH, as he had to work until 11:00 tonight but he called to tell me there was a terrible accident just before the bridge that connects where we live to the county where we both work. Now he has to go the long way around to get home, which takes like 2 hours (instead of 30 min). I am really worried about him as I know he hardly had any sleep last night! He told me not to wait up, but how am I supposed to sleep while I am worried about him falling asleep while driving on the dark back roads that he has to take home? 

I guess if stress really does affect fertility, I am out again this month as it has been a very stressful two days since I had my IUI!

Sorry for the long rant...I started writing and just kept going.


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## Melodystyx

Geez Navy, like you needed extra stress... I hope DH made it home safe and sound and you at least got some rest.

Sending BIG HUGS to all my kick ass sisters

xoxo


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## sharnw

Hi ladies, im feeling down at the moment and feel like joining you all :)

I read a few of your stories and it made me not feel alone xox

loads and loads :dust:

ttc for 2 years

Rant:
3 years ago dh and I started planning for a baby. I went and blabbed to my "bff" and she said her and her oh were "talking"about babies.. They had only been together for half a year.. Dh and I had been together for 3 years at the time... Any way 2 months later she texts me "IM 7 WEEKS PREGNANT"
Im thinking wtf?!! that was quick! 4 months later I fell pregnant unexpectedly, But I sadly mc at 11 weeks. By that time she was 7-8 months pregnant. I was so upset and she felt sorry for me of course.... But anyway she gave birth at 40 weeks... That was 2 and half years ago now.. Her little girl is 2 an half years old... 
Im still soldiering on with dh. In november 2011... She texts me again.. "IM PREGNANT"
I was shocked im thinking OHHH give me a break!! How can it be so easy for everyone else and me finding so hard when im ((the oldest sibling of 5! And family of 30+ cousins and 7 aunties and uncles, ALL on my mothers side) Talk about fertile family!))
She's got "other friends"now with their young children.. And has no time for me as a friend anymore, ppfftt....

Oh and facebook... I hate that baby gaga thing, just about nearly all my friends on facebook uses it, posting +hpt and ultrasounds and week by week photos of their growing belly.. 

Grrrrr i feel so usless, 
Doesnt man+woman+sex=pregnancy??! :(


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## sharnw

Oh and my b*tch cousin, put on face book...
"To everyone, you dont know what love is until you have your own children" "sorry :)"

What the?? How selfish can you be??? There are people out there that are having trouble trying to have their babies so that they can feel that love... And you are putting this on facebook??! GOSH


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## Katiejayne79

Great thread girls!!!
I'd like to rant about the fact I'd sick to death of people at work who are falling pregnant constantly moaning about their pregnancy symptoms. What I would give for back ache, sickness, tiredness etc arghhhhh they even know I've been ttc 3 years and mc at 11 weeks and still do it. Arghh!!

Next!!


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## mommy and me

Good Morning/Afternoon Ladies,

I have been a little absent from B&B. Just needed so time to myself. But then realised sadly that I miss you guys waayyyy too much.

Well yesterday was our 1 year anniversary and really wished that I will be getting a :BFP: this month. It would be the bestest bestest pressie ever. :yipee:

But I just have this gut feeling that I'm out this month. You know the whole 6th sense thing. :blush:

*Melodystyx* - So sorry to hear about your very LTTTC. I dont know if I will ever be able to keep trying for so long. You are a very strong woman.

*Faithhopelove* - CONGRATZ with your :BFP: Holding thumbs for a sticky bean.

*sharnw* - Welcome. Im sure everyone of us has that one person in our lives thats a real fertily murtile. :growlmad:


MY RANT:

So this girl I know (DH friends girlfriend) announced all over FB a few weeks ago that she is pregnant they have been together for 4 months.:brat: And she is 3 month preggos.
Worst part is she said just the other day how much she doesn want kids and how she would hate to fall pregnant before she got married. :tease:

And now the biggest shock of all. They getting married. :dohh:

Honestly I hate people like that. I have been trying with no success not even a little bit of a success. And this b!tch just looks at her BF and she is pregnant. 

WHY?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay feeling better now. Sorry for the long rant. Just need to get it our my system every now and again. And here at least i know I wont get judged. Or get told to just get over it and move on. REALLY.
Off to work now :DUST: to everyone in our tread.


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## Katiejayne79

Great thread girls!!!
I'd like to rant about the fact I'd sick to death of people at work who are falling pregnant constantly moaning about their pregnancy symptoms. What I would give for back ache, sickness, tiredness etc arghhhhh they even know I've been ttc 3 years and mc at 11 weeks and still do it. Arghh!!

Next!!


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## StephieB

Ahhh Navy, that sounds like an utterly shitty weekend and you need this :wine: I hope your DH made it home OK and you finally got sleep!! Fingers crossed for you IUI this month!! 

Congratulations faith :flower:

Rant: 

So I got dragged to a family function yesterday, which included me sitting there while everyone cooed over the babies and toddlers there while my AF cramps arrived :gun:

Secondly, sore boobs. Seriously, I don't need it. I _know_ I'm not pregnant, and there is no need for my body to make my already fairly sized breasts a size bigger and too sore to touch. Hormones, piss off and give me my boobs back, please? If it's not bad enough I'm awaiting AF and my 'lady' will be out of bounds for DH, now he can't even have a good grope without me slapping his hand...poor guy. :haha:


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## BearsMummy

Navy - Sorry you had a crappy weekend, I hope your feeling better soon. :hugs:

I have edited this post, because I realised that I was being a selfish bitter cow.
But i'm still not happy about a couple of things this past week.
So much for a 'safe' place.:growlmad:

I am going to sulk and cry with a bottle of wine. :wine:


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## StephieB

Bears, you don't need to edit in here, thats the reason it exists, I think we're all selfish bitter cows together :hugs:


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## BearsMummy

Ahh, I did, I would have offended a couple of people that have posted this past week.

I am seriously GRUMPY today, I was supposed to be going to Big Brother Launch, but my friend has let me down! I was really looking forward to going!


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## StephieB

Hmm, I think I could probably also compose a vent that could potentially cause offence, I wish this button existed :ignore:

Oh well thats sucks arse! But i forgot BB was starting again at least now I will have something to watch again and add to my list of crap TV I'm addicted to that DH cannot stand :haha:


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## BearsMummy

I think we are singing from the same hymn sheet!!

I LOVE crappy reality TV, luckily OH loves it as well!! I lead such a sad shallow life!! :haha:


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## StephieB

Big Brother, big fat gypsy wedding, don't tell the bride, snog marry avoid and all of the really bizarre ones on C5 like 'The girls who's foot turned into a toad' are my favourites :haha: luckily I'm the queen of the remote, so I can watch my crap TV while he sulks away to play the xbox :happydance:


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## BearsMummy

Embarressing Bodies!! I can't watch that while eating!! :haha:


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## StephieB

Embarrassing bodies, with medical problems so embarrassing you are to afraid to go to your own doctor, but going on national television is completely acceptable :shrug:


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## Just_married

Bears I read your post earlier and now I can't even remember what you've removed, that shows you how offensive it must have been!!

As for reality tv, I record hours of judge just to watch while I do the ironing, and co-incidentally, I'm onto episode 4 right now as I work through our ironing. Dh hates it but knows not to argue when I'm ironing his flaming clothes. 

Hope you're all bearing up! Big hugs to y'all xxx


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## wannabemummyb

Hey all,

Today I am feeling really low about everything. At the parent in laws and BIL sends through all these piccies from a professional shoot that his family have been on, mil is cooing over them saying how cute her grandkids are! Don't i just wish i could give her more!

Congrates on the bfp. I really don't want to sounds like a hugely bitter cow, but there has been a spat of lovely ladies coming on here and announcing their bfps, when some of us have tough days/weeks/months it can feel a little like the lttc gods slapping us in the face. 
The rules of this section confirm bfps have a section of their own, for us all to congratulate

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/p...cements-within-long-term-trying-conceive.html

I've been mulling over posting this for a day or so and it maybe hugely unpopular but I need somewhere to vent the crap that we all go through without the fear of seeing another bfp


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## Just_married

Wannabe, I was thinking the same thing. Didn't want to seem unwelcoming, but the poster only joined a few days ago & probably doesn't know the guidelines & the effect a random bfp announcement can have on those who have been on this thread for a while. 

That being said, its obvious from even the few posts before it that bfp announcements on here or FB etc are one of the main reasons for venting so wasn't the greatest idea. ( I am not meaning ltttc ladies whom we know on here whom we urge to test etc.). I still wish this lady h & h 9months but don't know much else about her (how long she's tried etc).


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## Maurie

My rant, 
AF :growlmad:
Enough said...

I am however thankful for DH who didn't laugh at me because my pain meds were on the other end of the couch I was on, but I needed him to get them for me because of the pain! He even got up from laying down to give me another blanket because I am cold.

AF- What a :witch:


----------



## Lady H

Just saying! :wacko: temp going down. Rant over! :blush:


----------



## wonderstars

Thanks for posting those BFP guidelines wannabe. I've really had to step back before I typed something about all of these ladies coming in 10 months TTC and just about to get their BFP (edit: sorry to the over 35ers, I know that's far beyond long for you!). 

Ugh. I don't care if I sound like a bitter cow. :mamafy: This is the only safe place I have. Every friend has a baby, coworkers get pregnant on the first try and I have to counsel my patients on their health during pregnancy. I just want somewhere safe so that I don't have that urge to cry.

Bah! I need alcohol but chocolate will have to suffice tonight! :grr:


----------



## Armywife84

wannabemummyb said:


> Hey all,
> 
> Today I am feeling really low about everything. At the parent in laws and BIL sends through all these piccies from a professional shoot that his family have been on, mil is cooing over them saying how cute her grandkids are! Don't i just wish i could give her more!
> 
> Congrates on the bfp. I really don't want to sounds like a hugely bitter cow, but there has been a spat of lovely ladies coming on here and announcing their bfps, when some of us have tough days/weeks/months it can feel a little like the lttc gods slapping us in the face.
> The rules of this section confirm bfps have a section of their own, for us all to congratulate
> 
> https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/p...cements-within-long-term-trying-conceive.html
> 
> I've been mulling over posting this for a day or so and it maybe hugely unpopular but I need somewhere to vent the crap that we all go through without the fear of seeing another bfp

Thank you for posting this! I was going to point that out after an announcement was made and another member was venting about seeing a BFP on LTTC. While I'm happy for a LTTCer to get a positive, I also want to be respectful to Rosebud....seeing as she's been here longer than she should. :hugs: And anyone else who is having a crap day. 

It would be too Facebook (Bragbook) if LTTCers started announcing their BFPs all over the LTTC forum. I don't mind reading about them in the journals or Success Stories. 

I don't believe we should edit what we write on here. As long as we're respectful of any religious ladies and don't go too overboard with language..I'd say we're getting on very well. Besides, if we had any issues with posts we're proper women who would take it to PM for further discussion.

It's a safe zone to vent and bitch. I mean we've been on here for quite a while :dohh: and know one another. Plus, we're welcoming to any LTTCers (TTC 6 months and over for 35+ and over a 1 year TTC for everyone else) who join us. 

Rants:

-I have to go to work an hour early tomorrow. Please put me out of my misery now! 

-Today, people couldn't at work couldn't stop talking about the pregnant :mamafy:'s pregnancy. :wacko: I've heard enough of it...there's no need to discuss it on a daily basis. I wish she would go on maternity leave already; I'm tired of looking at her. She's constantly calling in due to her pregnancy and has to sit down every chance she gets. Just go on leave! It's not like you're making any wage by calling in all the time! :growlmad::growlmad:


----------



## Melodystyx

Hi ladies,

YAY pregnant sis in law .... YAY pregnant cousin.... all within 4days YAY YAY YAY and I have to be at work YAY:hissy:

and you all right this is the one place where I can darn well vent and feel like people understand.. Dont get me wrong and I really happy for them falling pregnant BUT when is it my turn...:brat:

ok done! :muaha:

Hope you all have a fantastic day! sending :hugs: and :dust:


----------



## sharnw

Ladies, i threw my bfn test at the wall today after leaving it sit there for half the day on the window, (was even desperate to see an evap appear) :wacko: :wacko:
Im going insane... when is it our turn :(


----------



## Melodystyx

sharnw said:


> Ladies, i threw my bfn test at the wall today after leaving it sit there for half the day on the window, (was even desperate to see an evap appear) :wacko: :wacko:
> Im going insane... when is it our turn :(

Oh Sharnw not cool, Im so sorry... :hugs::hugs:

I remember the first time i had a bfn I didnt read the packaging and thought any line was a bfp was sooooo over the moon until I got to work and was told that no i was not preggers.... :blush::dohh:


----------



## Zfbaby

Hi ladies, I'm kinda new to b&b but I hope you'll let me join in the rant. 
I've been ttc for 3 years (1 yr with help) and I've had to sit and watch people I know fall pregnant at the drop of a hat time and time again. I've even had to listen to people tell me stories about unwanted pgs and terminations. 
I get so sick of hearing other people's good news, it feels like a cosmic joke. When's my good news coming.
As for Facebook I recently had someone I don't really get on with announce the arrival of their honeymoon baby. When I didn't congratulate straight away she sent me a MSG saying I was jealous because she had a baby and I had nothing!!! People don't get it. I hope you guys do as I really need a place to rant. 
Planning on doing a hpt tomorrow too but I already know it'll be a bfn :( 

Phew that feels good.


----------



## smallstar

Morning ladies
After a very LONG weekend, primarily alcohol induced! After the dreaded AF turned up just at the start of the weekend!!!
All was going well until we were invited to a friend&#8217;s new g/f's BBQ on the Monday, and I thought well why not she&#8217;s young and never in a million years thought there would be any children/babies there!!! Oh how wrong I was.... literally it was like a crèche and if you didn&#8217;t have a kid you felt like a complete leper!!! GREAT!!!! grrrrrr.....
Then our other friends turn up with their 9 week old baby who we have been trying to avoid like the plague since she gave birth and all I had from that point was when are you going to start trying? Have you come off b/c yet?! I mean really could you get any more personal?!?!? So in pretty much those exact words I told everyone exactly that ITS PRESONAL!!! SO F**K OFF!!!!!!! My other half could see that I was getting very heated and knows I am not one to hold back on how I feel...so managed to drag me away and ply me with burgers and tea (I was driving as didn&#8217;t plan on being there long! - Wish I had downed a bottle of Vodka by the end of it!)
Yesterday was a nice quiet day just the 2 of us...which made up for the mass baby overload on Monday!
Now i am back a t work and all i can think of is how sh*t i feel for not being able to get pregnant i feel like a complete failure :(

My preggo friend also text me last night asking when she can see me...I can&#8217;t even reply as I really cannot face her at the minute.

June is a REALLY bad month for us....we had lots of bad news and losses in June :( Just really want this month to hurry up and finish.....


----------



## smallstar

StephieB said:


> Getting sloshed is what jubilee weekend is all about! I am a firm believed in 'drink til its pink' so every time AF rolls around I make sure theres a bottle of wine and a take away menu to hand!
> 
> I don't have any vents _yet_ but I do have news. After keeping TTC a secret from our families for so long, we've finally composed a blog telling them our secret, and will be sending them all the link tonight. So nervous (I'm a big girl, I can't do it face to face!)
> 
> AF is due next weekend and i think I'm about 6-8dpo (threw the OPKS away this month) so i will be enjoying NOT having sex and not having to wax again for 3 weeks :haha:

StephieB - How did the blog go?! I hope you dont mind me asking its just that we have spent the past 2+years keeping the whole TTC thing a secret and just wondered how this made you feel and if its helped in any way?
x


----------



## StephieB

Zfbaby :hugs: welcome! I haven't been a member of this thread for long, and am relatively new here, but LOVE it. I have seriously never felt more at home with any other group of lovely ladies on here 

Smallstar - This bloody jubilee weekend has appeared to cause nothing but stress for us LTTTCers! Too many BBQs, parties and family get togethers to deal with, I'm glad it's over and normal life can resume!! 

Oh the blog was one of the best things we have ever done! Of corse I don't mind you asking! It was one of the hardest things we have ever done, and I cried for the entire evening we sent the blog over. I was a mess! Cried wen we pressed send, cried when we hadn't heard anything after 30mins, cried when the phone rang (before answering it) and then cried afterwards!

My MIL said that her and my FIL cried when they were reading the blog, and they were sorry that we were having to go through such a difficult thing so early on in our lives/marriage (I'm 24 and DH is 26, been married 8 months) and they wanted to know when they could see us so they could give us a hug :D

We went round the following day and were SO nervous about seeing them face to face and it was the elephant in the room for a while and nobody mentioned it, then I said I had to go to the pharmacy to get my new prescription of tablets I take for stomach ulcers, and I think my MIL ceased the opportunity and said "Oh, so now you've got to take those, and your hormone tablets?" (I mentioned we were on Clomid) so that started off an actually nice conversation about the whole thing. It was really such a relief to actually be able to talk about these things openly and have them ask us questions. 

Then the following day was the family thing, and we went round to their place and as my DH has the worlds most fertile family we knew there was going to be a lot of babies, pregnant woman and toddlers there, so stayed in the living room while people were outside, and normally we would be screamed at to go and be sociable, but my mother in law kept bringing us food and drinks into the living room and didn't once ask us to leave and see people. 

It is still weird because we've so used to being so secretive about it, and hiding all the OPKs and HPTs when people come round, making sure theres no boxes or wrappers any where, but today we left them all on the bathroom and my FIL came down and said "It must be costing you a fortune with all those tests, I didn't even know they made tests for such things" :haha:

There was no way I could have done it face to face, so the blog was definitely the best idea for us!


----------



## uwa_amanda

StephieB said:


> Zfbaby :hugs: welcome! I haven't been a member of this thread for long, and am relatively new here, but LOVE it. I have seriously never felt more at home with any other group of lovely ladies on here
> 
> Smallstar - This bloody jubilee weekend has appeared to cause nothing but stress for us LTTTCers! Too many BBQs, parties and family get togethers to deal with, I'm glad it's over and normal life can resume!!
> 
> Oh the blog was one of the best things we have ever done! Of corse I don't mind you asking! It was one of the hardest things we have ever done, and I cried for the entire evening we sent the blog over. I was a mess! Cried wen we pressed send, cried when we hadn't heard anything after 30mins, cried when the phone rang (before answering it) and then cried afterwards!
> 
> My MIL said that her and my FIL cried when they were reading the blog, and they were sorry that we were having to go through such a difficult thing so early on in our lives/marriage (I'm 24 and DH is 26, been married 8 months) and they wanted to know when they could see us so they could give us a hug :D
> 
> We went round the following day and were SO nervous about seeing them face to face and it was the elephant in the room for a while and nobody mentioned it, then I said I had to go to the pharmacy to get my new prescription of tablets I take for stomach ulcers, and I think my MIL ceased the opportunity and said "Oh, so now you've got to take those, and your hormone tablets?" (I mentioned we were on Clomid) so that started off an actually nice conversation about the whole thing. It was really such a relief to actually be able to talk about these things openly and have them ask us questions.
> 
> Then the following day was the family thing, and we went round to their place and as my DH has the worlds most fertile family we knew there was going to be a lot of babies, pregnant woman and toddlers there, so stayed in the living room while people were outside, and normally we would be screamed at to go and be sociable, but my mother in law kept bringing us food and drinks into the living room and didn't once ask us to leave and see people.
> 
> It is still weird because we've so used to being so secretive about it, and hiding all the OPKs and HPTs when people come round, making sure theres no boxes or wrappers any where, but today we left them all on the bathroom and my FIL came down and said "It must be costing you a fortune with all those tests, I didn't even know they made tests for such things" :haha:
> 
> There was no way I could have done it face to face, so the blog was definitely the best idea for us!

It is so great that your in-laws reacted nicely to your blog. I read your blog and thought it was a very beautiful way to put what you are going through on "paper" and still sound nice about everything. :thumbup::thumbup:

My rant for the day: It's freakin' Wednesday. I'm ready for Friday. That's all!


----------



## StephieB

> My rant for the day: It's freakin' Wednesday. I'm ready for Friday. That's all!

I agree with this fully! After a 4 day weekend I was just getting used to relaxing!!

Vent of the day: 

Buying pregnancy tests. Does anyone get those looks when you go to the till with pregnancy tests? I went to super drug to get some this morning (its like an obsession!) and the girl on the till looked at me like i had SLAG tattooed across my forehead! Sod off super drug girl, I might look like I'm 18 with my lovely baby face, but I'm actually a lot older and wiser than you and your scanning device!!


----------



## BearsMummy

I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt that way then! :sulk:

I thought I was coming across as a total bitch.

My Rant:

I have been up all night with raging toothache. :cry:


----------



## smallstar

uwa_amanda - TOTALLY agree this 3 day week needs to hurry the hell up and FINISH already!!! Weekend i need you....

StephieB - So pleased to hear your blog went so well with your in laws....genuinely think you are the bravest person EVER to do that....i have only actually told my sister as i had a melt down last summer and she was just there and it all came out, but i am petrified of telling anyone else :( I just feel ashamed and a totally failure and i know that is wrong but it&#8217;s a difficult mindset to get out of! 
(Again hope this isn&#8217;t too personal but do you have a link to your blog? uwa_amanda mentioned she had read it...might help me build the courage to do something like this too)

Zfbaby - i am also relatively new to this thread and wished i had stumbled across it a year ago!!! Its a great place to vent and no one judges you or makes you feel bad for being a total cow about the world and everything in it!!!


----------



## StephieB

Smallstar - Of corse! I don't think anything is too personal in this place! Theres a link to my blog in my siggy, the link we sent to everyone is the one at the bottom (obviously, it starts Hello all...ignore me) the top one is just my rant from today. 



> I just feel ashamed and a totally failure and i know that is wrong but its a difficult mindset to get out of!

thats how i felt/feel too, but its honestly the best thing we have done because its like a HUGE weight has been lifted. It actually felt a little therapeutic getting it all down in writing as well. You could always write a blog, and not send it to people until you feel ready? :hugs:

Bears - :hugs: I hate toothache, actually I hate dentists so thats why every tooth twinge sends me into a spiral of depression! Hope it goes soon. 

Vent number 2: 

Buying said pregnancy test, and not being able to resist the temptation of using it, giving in and running to the bathroom, POAS and leaving it on the side where I can't see it (because for some reason if I look at it any positive will definitely disappear) then wiping and realising AF has arrived. :finger: well thats £10 I could have used for something more productive, like alcohol!!!


----------



## uwa_amanda

StephieB said:


> :finger: well thats £10 I could have used for something more productive, like alcohol!!!

 :rofl: I am sorry but that was funny!


----------



## smallstar

uwa_amanda said:


> StephieB said:
> 
> 
> :finger: well thats £10 I could have used for something more productive, like alcohol!!!
> 
> :rofl: I am sorry but that was funny!Click to expand...

Sorry but have to agree this has tickled me slightly...unfortunately this has happened to me on several occasions....will we ever learn! :dohh:


----------



## uwa_amanda

smallstar said:
 

> uwa_amanda said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> StephieB said:
> 
> 
> :finger: well thats £10 I could have used for something more productive, like alcohol!!!
> 
> :rofl: I am sorry but that was funny!Click to expand...
> 
> Sorry but have to agree this has tickled me slightly...unfortunately this has happened to me on several occasions....will we ever learn! :dohh:Click to expand...

I think it has probably happened to us all! I quit buying the stupid things before we took a break from TTC. If I could just have all the money back from all the stupid hpt's that I have bought in the past, I might still have a couple if hundred dollars.


----------



## StephieB

Well I have to go to a family wedding this evening, so I officially plan on getting embarrassingly drunk! :happydance:

I have POAS only to find AF has arrived more times than I care to remember. My uterus has a wicked sense of humour :rolleyes:


----------



## Zfbaby

Yep just taken my hpt : ( another bfn to add to the pile. 
I'd like the cost of all mine back please.


----------



## Armywife84

What no booze at a BBQ? Pfft, I certainly wouldn't be attending that event. :haha: Oh dear, I do sound like a mad alcoholic. :dohh:

RANT:

I've said it before, I'll say it again. Why the feck do women who are NOT LTTC, who are indeed fertile and are already a mother, wander over to LTTC having a go at us? That's like me going to First Tri and telling them off about their constant whining pertaining to morning sickness. It's unnecessary! Completely irrelevant! 

Don't come over here telling me how to feel and giving your "advice" when you're a fertile myrtle!! And never had to struggle!! We aren't the same. That's fine if you have sympathy, I don't need your judgement. :growlmad:


----------



## uwa_amanda

Armywife84 said:


> What no booze at a BBQ? Pfft, I certainly wouldn't be attending that event. :haha: Oh dear, I do sound like a mad alcoholic. :dohh:
> 
> RANT:
> 
> I've said it before, I'll say it again. Why the feck do women who are NOT LTTC, who are indeed fertile and are already a mother, wander over to LTTC having a go at us? That's like me going to First Tri and telling them off about their constant whining pertaining to morning sickness. It's unnecessary! Completely irrelevant!
> 
> Don't come over here telling me how to feel and giving your "advice" when you're a fertile myrtle!! And never had to struggle!! We aren't the same. That's fine if you have sympathy, I don't need your judgement. :growlmad:

OMG...No kidding. I edited my earlier post to keep from sounding like a :witch:. :dohh: :dohh:


----------



## Armywife84

uwa_amanda said:


> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> What no booze at a BBQ? Pfft, I certainly wouldn't be attending that event. :haha: Oh dear, I do sound like a mad alcoholic. :dohh:
> 
> RANT:
> 
> I've said it before, I'll say it again. Why the feck do women who are NOT LTTC, who are indeed fertile and are already a mother, wander over to LTTC having a go at us? That's like me going to First Tri and telling them off about their constant whining pertaining to morning sickness. It's unnecessary! Completely irrelevant!
> 
> Don't come over here telling me how to feel and giving your "advice" when you're a fertile myrtle!! And never had to struggle!! We aren't the same. That's fine if you have sympathy, I don't need your judgement. :growlmad:
> 
> OMG...No kidding. I edited my earlier post to keep from sounding like a :witch:. :dohh: :dohh:Click to expand...

:rofl::rofl::rofl: I couldn't hold back my bitchiness. :dohh: 

I'm just tired of people giving me flack and judgement for IF. As if IF isn't enough to deal with. :dohh: Trade places with me for a month and we'll see if you still call me selfish. :haha:


----------



## uwa_amanda

Armywife84 said:


> uwa_amanda said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> What no booze at a BBQ? Pfft, I certainly wouldn't be attending that event. :haha: Oh dear, I do sound like a mad alcoholic. :dohh:
> 
> RANT:
> 
> I've said it before, I'll say it again. Why the feck do women who are NOT LTTC, who are indeed fertile and are already a mother, wander over to LTTC having a go at us? That's like me going to First Tri and telling them off about their constant whining pertaining to morning sickness. It's unnecessary! Completely irrelevant!
> 
> Don't come over here telling me how to feel and giving your "advice" when you're a fertile myrtle!! And never had to struggle!! We aren't the same. That's fine if you have sympathy, I don't need your judgement. :growlmad:
> 
> OMG...No kidding. I edited my earlier post to keep from sounding like a :witch:. :dohh: :dohh:Click to expand...
> 
> :rofl::rofl::rofl: I couldn't hold back my bitchiness. :dohh:
> 
> I'm just tired of people giving me flack and judgement for IF. As if IF isn't enough to deal with. :dohh: Trade places with me for a month and we'll see if you still call me selfish. :haha:Click to expand...

Nuh-uh, one year if you are less than 35 years of age or six months if you are older than 35. :haha:


----------



## Armywife84

:dohh: 

I think I like being a bitter :mamafy:. It's such a laugh! Much better to laugh at IF than sobbing profusely about it. :haha:


----------



## sharnw

Couldnt agree with you more Army.
Im new to this thread.

Im fed up with bfn after bfn, af after af

I cant handle sadness and angriness thats building up inside of me. Im going to explode at someone near me that says pregnant. 

My friend is having a c-section next week and wants me to go see her after the baby comes out.. I dont even think I will go :/ 

I didnt even go to her baby shower 2 weeks ago.. :dohh:


----------



## wonderstars

Armywife84 said:


> :dohh:
> 
> I think I like being a bitter :mamafy:. It's such a laugh! Much better to laugh at IF than sobbing profusely about it. :haha:

I agree!:thumbup:

Rant tonight:

So happy Clomid is over with. Totally screwed over my cycles. Spotting at 6DPO! I don't even have a chance at a 1WW. Good gracious, I've already changed Cycle #3 to BFN. I get a kick out of the posters that make their first post in LTTC:

"I'm spotting and it's 8 DPO. Do you think it's implantation bleeding? Do you think I could be pregnant?" FFS, if you don't know wait until your period is due! 

Whew, I'm done now. :wacko:


----------



## StephieB

> "I'm spotting and it's 8 DPO. Do you think it's implantation bleeding? Do you think I could be pregnant?"

These kinds of posts simply piss me off. I don't know, funnily enough I can't see into your uterus. Pull yourself together and wait until AF, if you don't know by now you need a slap! ](*,)

Sorry, embarrassingly drunk was achieved last night, embarrassingly hungover is being achieved this morning :happydance: not enough greasy food in the world!


----------



## StephieB

Vent numero dos: 

_that_ post. I don't know if it's because AF is in full swing, I'm hungover AND on Clomid, but if I could reach through a computer screen and punch someone, today would be the day I would. 

Army - I don't know how you conducted yourself so eloquently, but well done you! :thumbup:


----------



## Just_married

I have two rants. Brace yourself! 
1st is linked to TTC. Remember my bridesmaid who changed her mind about asking me to be bridesmaid because she knew I was TTC? Well her hen night on sat there. I rushed like crazy to get there on time, she strolls in with all her bridesmaids in sashes 40 from hotel theyve mins late. She is gushing over how grateful she is to all her bridesmaids. They clique together all night. I come home feeling so pissed off at it all. The wedding is in August, my hubby is an usher (I've been given the 'pregnancy friendly' job of doing a reading, which she hasn't mentioned since asking me in feb). So the night before the wedding my dh been told he is staying at hotel with ushers and bride staying at hotel with bridesmaids? WTH?? So I guess I'll just sit at home alone that night nursing my non existent bump?!!! Thankfully, DH told them he's def not staying.

Rant number 2, not TTC related. Noticed a long term guy pal of mines had deleted me off FB. Text him wondering why? Couldn't think of anything I've done to merit that. Apparently I only contact him when I 'want something'. So I wracked my brains, checked my texts, FB posts & messages. The most recent time i contacted him was march to ask him to pray for my friend who was having a c-section the next day knowing her baby had a 50% chance of surviving a critical illness. The time I contacted him before that was to aak him to dh gig to keep me company, he came, we chatted for a few hours and he left. I challenged him on it saying I don't think I deserve to be deleted & called a user, I've been a good mate to you for years. His response was "Go away" and "Don't start your pi**.

Hate losing friends or feeling angry towards them but I don't see any other way around it. Still livid!


----------



## StephieB

Just Married, you need one of these :hugs: and two of these :wine:


----------



## zanDark

Armywife84 said:


> RANT:
> 
> I've said it before, I'll say it again. Why the feck do women who are NOT LTTC, who are indeed fertile and are already a mother, wander over to LTTC having a go at us? That's like me going to First Tri and telling them off about their constant whining pertaining to morning sickness. It's unnecessary! Completely irrelevant!
> 
> Don't come over here telling me how to feel and giving your "advice" when you're a fertile myrtle!! And never had to struggle!! We aren't the same. That's fine if you have sympathy, I don't need your judgement. :growlmad:

THIS!!

seriously!!! none of us go into the pregnancy forums telling people they're OTT for complaining about pregnancy related things!!!

our board should be made private like the gender disappointment!! 

to all the fertile myrtles wandering in here to offer "advice" WE'RE NOT A FREAK SHOW FOR YOU TO WATCH! We're real people with real pain. Many of us are depressed or suffer from anxiety and we have to give a day to day battle to stay sane. If you're not LTTTC then you shouldn't be here unless you want to offer some hugs!!!!!!!

We deserve the same courtesy as some of the other sensitive boards get....have some decency.


----------



## Zfbaby

Totally agree with post above, even though I'm new to the forum I'm not new to ttc. I get people who have no clue how ltttc can feel and have popped out babies by just thinking about it try and give me advice ( or the dreaded sympathy "it'll happen" speech). 
I'm so glad I've found a place to vent everything I would normally have bottled up with no judgement, it's very cathartic. Thanks All.


----------



## zanDark

I'm absolutely LIVID.

I've made a thread here to suggest that the LTTTC board become private to avoid these insensitive and selfish people.

Feel free to post in it if you agree or disagree! I think it's important that our safe haven REMAIN safe :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Melodystyx

Oh my gosh, where have I been that I missed "THAT" post :blush::dohh:

after my crappy week I must say I am starting to feel better, I guess thats because I have been allowed to vent and no one else has come to me to tell me about their wonderful news... but wait its only the begining of June :shrug:.

ok ladies sending BIG :hug: and heres hoping the weekend is awesome just like us :flower:


----------



## Melodystyx

zanDark said:


> I'm absolutely LIVID.
> 
> I've made a thread here to suggest that the LTTTC board become private to avoid these insensitive and selfish people.
> 
> Feel free to post in it if you agree or disagree! I think it's important that our safe haven REMAIN safe :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

oh and yeah TOTALLY agree Zan :hugs:


----------



## zanDark

Melodystyx said:


> zanDark said:
> 
> 
> I'm absolutely LIVID.
> 
> I've made a thread here to suggest that the LTTTC board become private to avoid these insensitive and selfish people.
> 
> Feel free to post in it if you agree or disagree! I think it's important that our safe haven REMAIN safe :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
> 
> oh and yeah TOTALLY agree Zan :hugs:Click to expand...

thanks! :hugs::hugs::hugs: I'm hoping that if some of us post in there and say how we feel then maybe our safe haven will actually be safe :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## BearsMummy

How do we address the other problem of them deciding it would be a fantastic idea to come on here posting their bfp's after a post or two?


----------



## zanDark

BearsMummy said:


> How do we address the other problem of them deciding it would be a fantastic idea to come on here posting their bfp's after a post or two?

maybe you should post that in the thread I made to bring more attention to it? I know that moderators can't be here 24/7 and they already do the best they can for us, but if people had to have more that 50 posts for example to get access to the LTTTC boards things would be better?? :shrug: :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

I don't know if just making it private would solve everything...but we need to speak up and maybe the wonderful BnB team will come up with a solution for us :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## BearsMummy

You word things so well!!

I just sound like a selfish bitter :mamafy: :dohh:


----------



## zanDark

BearsMummy said:


> You word things so well!!
> 
> I just sound like a selfish bitter :mamafy: :dohh:


no you don't!!! :hugs::hugs: I feel like I sound like that too most of the time...but being in here I've realized that these feelings are normal, and I'm allowed to let these feelings out!! We're allowed to bitch and let our feelings out hun! We'd all end up in the loony bin if we didn't :haha::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

ETA: I posted about the issue you mentioned too!! Hopefully it will bring more attention to what goes on in here from time to time :hug:


----------



## rosebud_01_99

im really annoyed, i made a very emotive reply to that thread yesterday , it was a well made point and i checked today and my post has been deleted and i cant see if any reply was made to it or anything, so annoyed rosebud


----------



## uwa_amanda

rosebud_01_99 said:


> im really annoyed, i made a very emotive reply to that thread yesterday , it was a well made point and i checked today and my post has been deleted and i cant see if any reply was made to it or anything, so annoyed rosebud

That's my vent for the day...my response was deleted too. Oh well. :shrug:


----------



## StephieB

....and mine!:growlmad: Clearly our responses were just too good :thumbup:


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## zanDark

edited to avoid problems.


----------



## zanDark

rosebud_01_99 said:


> im really annoyed, i made a very emotive reply to that thread yesterday , it was a well made point and i checked today and my post has been deleted and i cant see if any reply was made to it or anything, so annoyed rosebud

things got a bit heated so the post that was made and got our responses was removed as well as ours!! 

I guess our responses wouldn't have made any sense if they were just left up without the other post :flower::flower: don't take it personal hun :hugs::hugs:


----------



## StephieB

zanDark - Im sorry even your thread about keeping LTTTC our safe heaven was hijacked by the same people we're trying to prevent from being in here. You did a brilliant job at firstly keeping your cool, and secondly for fending for all of us. 

The annoying thing is your point was being proven by a select few, and there were woman in there who were able to put the point of a non LTTTCer across very well without offending, but sadly it seems like for some reasons, we're always going to be "..the misunderstoods". 

I'll probably get into trouble for mentioning this but "...Why don't you keep telling me to be the bigger person while you sit there cuddling your three children" was an excellent turn of phrase :thumbup:

:hugs:


----------



## zanDark

Thank you hun :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Yes my point was proven and it took all I had to remain as cool as possible!! I'm glad I was able to thank the wonderful lady that posted her opposing point of view while being respectful before the thread got closed! 

I wish it hadn't been hijacked so more LTTTC ladies could post their opinions....but I guess they did me a favor by proving my point! :winkwink:

All we can do now is wait and see what the admin team will decide :hugs::hugs: thanks again for your lovely post :hugs::hugs::kiss:


----------



## smallstar

Fingers crossed we get a little something we want ;)....privacy and the freedom to discuss matters directly with people who have been directly affected by IF....zanDark thanks again for your efforts :)

x


----------



## Just_married

I'm still raging about the comments on the other threads about vents and more specifically about people 'accidentally' stumbling upon vents or reading them to help IF friends/family.

I've come to the conclusion that they just don't get it. 

I'm really hoping they do make ltttc forum private, or at least this thread so we can be honest with each other & look after each other.

In some strange way it comforts us all to know there are others who understand and don't judge. I've only been TTC since April last year, some on here so much longer, you really need somewhere safe to vent. 

Hugs to all


----------



## uwa_amanda

I just hope this particular thread isn't closed. I have gotten a lot of support from you ladies whenever I have had bad days and need to let it out. No one understands what we are going though better than the rest of y'all.


----------



## wannabemummyb

uwa_amanda said:


> I just hope this particular thread isn't closed. I have gotten a lot of support from you ladies whenever I have had bad days and need to let it out. No one understands what we are going though better than the rest of y'all.

I couldn't agree more hun. Is it me or have all the issues only resurfaced again lately?

Zan....the thread was great, a little annoyed that i did not get to comment. I don't really care how it works, feasibilities etc, but I would like for us to be able to vent etc when and how i need. Without this thread and section i think i would be in a nut house by now. Sometimes i just lurk and read that other people are feeling similar to me, sometimes i post. It all depends on my mental state at the time.

You ladies have been awesome, supportive and a great laugh. So thank you to you all. I truly hope we all get that elusive bfp and it is sticky. :hugs:


----------



## Armywife84

Feck, feck...sorry for language ladies. I've missed so much and couldn't get in on the action!! :hissy::hissy:

I'm sure some fighting words, erm lovely comments made. However I'm very glad that our awesome ladies (Just married, Rosebud, Stephie, Zandark, Bears, Wonderstars, Small star, Uwa_Amanda, anyone else I missed) were there to defend the ENTIRE LTTC and especially our thread. :hugs::thumbup::thumbup: Well done!! 

A brilliant idea that Zandark has about making the LTTC section private. I agree that it should be shared with those who are LTTC (and not just #1). Hopefully, the Mods will make it private. Although we hold our own well against attacks :thumbup:, I don't like to appear naughty and be a problem for mods. :blush:

Zan Dark and Rosebud, join us in ranting? Our thread is safe. :flower:


----------



## zanDark

lol armywife just looking in the thread I posted you can get the idea of the kind of posts that were made...

I'm going to be all mushy now and say that I love you guys and I thank all the ladies that contacted me either via posts or PMs :hugs: It really means a lot and made me all fuzzy inside :haha::haha::haha::haha:

No one wants to be a pest and make the mods life harder than it is! :thumbup: so now all we can do is keep our fingers crossed and hope they can help us out :thumbup:

but you're right! we definitely know how to defend ourselves and stick together :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::kiss::kiss::kiss:


----------



## Armywife84

:happydance: Team LTTC :haha:


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## StephieB

> I just hope this particular thread isn't closed. I have gotten a lot of support from you ladies whenever I have had bad days and need to let it out. No one understands what we are going though better than the rest of y'all

I never even thought about them closing _this_ thread. They can't, I won't let them :cry:

Army - See the drama that unfolds when you leave us alone for a short while :haha: whenever I read a comment that just pissed me off, in my head I get images of a pack of lions attacking a defenceless zebra - Thats us by the way (I'm not just a weird wildlife fanatic) 

I agree completely with what wannabe is saying, i haven't even been part of this thread for a long time, but I need it, it helps my sanity, you all help my sanity and keep me going when I'm having a really shitty day. I'm proud of how we all club together to 'protect our own' I feel like I belong somewhere now, with people who get it! 

:hugs:


----------



## zanDark

I don't think they'd close it!! :flower:

they might pop in to make sure we're behaving :angelnot::angelnot::angelnot::angelnot: but I'm pretty sure they understand our situation! :hugs::flower:


oooo I have a vent about stupid AF being on the way and I already have horrible cramps and a killer lower back ache :cry: not to mention my boobs just won't let me get comfy at night to sleep :haha:


----------



## wannabemummyb

Steph, i just read your latest blog entry. Love it! 

Your anaology above is also spot on.

I think df is pretty greatful for you ladies, as much as i am, it means i have people who trul understand to talk to :)


----------



## StephieB

Ahh zanDark :hugs: AF can bugger right off! AF arrived for me with a vengeance this morning :cry:

Today I have had some of the worst cramps I've experienced in a very long time, I've been popping pills and going through tampons (attractive I know) like they're going out of fashion! My lovely husband did all the house work and bought me a ridiculously large bar of dairy milk when he got home from work though. 

p.s. I have edited my siggy to let everyone know who they're dealing with :winkwink:


----------



## StephieB

> Steph, i just read your latest blog entry. Love it!
> 
> Your anaology above is also spot on.
> 
> I think df is pretty greatful for you ladies, as much as i am, it means i have people who trul understand to talk to

Ah thanks :hugs: as you can see we only started it this week and have not made many entries but I'm getting a bit addicted!! Hopefully I'll have more interesting things to talk about eventually on there, but I find some sort of strange therapy in venting on a blog as well as on here.


----------



## zanDark

I just read your blog too and think it's excellent!! :thumbup: 

ugh damned AF!!!! :growlmad: it's bad enough that she show up...but she has to be painful too!! so unfair!! 

It's great that your awesome husband helps you out like that! I'm lucky like that too :cloud9: he does everything when I'm just laying on the couch like a beached up whale that can't move :haha::haha::haha:

love the sig!! right behind you :winkwink::hugs:


----------



## Armywife84

Oh my, have we started a gang? :rofl::rofl: We're so bad. :haha:


----------



## zanDark

Armywife84 said:


> Oh my, have we started a gang? :rofl::rofl:

:haha::haha::haha::haha:


----------



## StephieB

> Oh my, have we started a gang?

Not so much a gang, more of a warning :haha:

Ah thank you zanDark, not so much a blog but a few hormonal ramblings at the minute, but it'll get there :flower:


----------



## Lady H

Steph I love your blog xxxxx


----------



## StephieB

Ah thank you all so much :hugs: it makes me all fuzzy inside to know people are enjoying reading my very long and often mental ramblings! I feel like I have something to keep it updated for now :flower:


----------



## StephieB

I feel I need to add just for those that have read my ramblings, and seen my mention of 'travis and colin' in the letter to our families, I'm not talking about some middle aged men, they're my two babies, but they have fur and shit in a litter tray. Or as we call them "THE BOYS"


----------



## uwa_amanda

Armywife84 said:


> :happydance: Team LTTC :haha:

I'm in! :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:


----------



## uwa_amanda

Stephie, those boys of yours are very cute!


----------



## Just_married

StephieB I read it too. So true! In fact, dh said "what you reading?" and I explained what happened on the forum today & read out your blog and he thought it was cool too :)

Oh, also, I'm in too! Hope you veterans don't mind a 14 monther here in your team! Xxx


----------



## uwa_amanda

StephieB, I read your blog too. I wholeheartedly agree with everything you posted on it. :thumbup:


----------



## uwa_amanda

Just_married said:


> StephieB I read it too. So true! In fact, dh said "what you reading?" and I explained what happened on the forum today & read out your blog and he thought it was cool too :)
> 
> Oh, also, I'm in too! Hope you veterans don't mind a 14 monther here in your team! Xxx

Come on! :thumbup: :flower:


----------



## wonderstars

Ladies! What kind of trouble have you been brewing?! Damn work. I can only imagine what you all wrote, haha.

Gosh darnit, I can't believe I missed it all! :brat:

BTW, awesome blog post StephieB!


----------



## Maurie

Ladies! 
What a support group! Everyone is perfectly willing to stick up for eachother, Love you gals! :flower:

I also posted on the thread and my post was deleted... I thought I was making good a point about learning the effects of IF, frustrating but Oh well. :shrug:

I forget who posted for BnB to make Ltttc to be private but I "thanked" you to show my support since it was already closed. :flower:

StephieB- Your boys are cute! 

I keep thinking that I wish Ltttc on Bnb should have a massive convention to meet each other in real life.... I work on the computer (teaching high school over the internet) and we have a couple of times a year we get together and meet the new teachers and have face time. 
I would love to meet you Ltttc ladies lol
It would be hard with our rigorous Ltttc schedules... One can dream :blush:

Mind if I join the Team LTTTC?


----------



## uwa_amanda

Got another vent...sort of:

Feeling a little down tonight. I don't even know why. I just feel so down about everything. I am sitting here at my kitchen table crying my eyeballs out for no apparent reason whatsoever! Pathetic, I know. :cry: I can't even go to sleep right now. I am dog-tired after the day that I had at work today, but can't seem to just lay down and let myself fall asleep. Ugh...I am going to really be loading up on some Dr. Pepper tomorrow (that's my drink of choice-at work anyway! :haha:). :wacko::wacko: 

Anyway...here's to a better day tomorrow and one helluva weekend! :devil::beer:


----------



## NavyWife84

Armywife84 said:


> Feck, feck...sorry for language ladies. I've missed so much and couldn't get in on the action!! :hissy::hissy:
> 
> I'm sure some fighting words, erm lovely comments made. However I'm very glad that our awesome ladies (Just married, Rosebud, Stephie, Zandark, Bears, Wonderstars, Small star, Uwa_Amanda, anyone else I missed) were there to defend the ENTIRE LTTC and especially our thread. :hugs::thumbup::thumbup: Well done!!
> 
> A brilliant idea that Zandark has about making the LTTC section private. I agree that it should be shared with those who are LTTC (and not just #1). Hopefully, the Mods will make it private. Although we hold our own well against attacks :thumbup:, I don't like to appear naughty and be a problem for mods. :blush:
> 
> Zan Dark and Rosebud, join us in ranting? Our thread is safe. :flower:

I missed it all too! It has been a crazy week at work and I haven't been able to make time for myself, including my bnb addiction...specifically this thread! I hope this does go private but if not, I hope this thread never closes. You ladies are my life support!!! I wish I could have voiced my opinion as well, which is the same as all of yours. Thank you ladies for speaking up in our defense. Unfortunately, I do agree that we will remain the misunderstoods. No one could ever even imagine what we go through without walking in our shoes. At least we all have each other <3


----------



## NavyWife84

I would also like to jump on the team ltttc bandwagon! I will be changing my siggy tomorrow when I am on my computer not my phone.


----------



## NavyWife84

Armywife84 said:


> Feck, feck...sorry for language ladies. I've missed so much and couldn't get in on the action!! :hissy::hissy:
> 
> I'm sure some fighting words, erm lovely comments made. However I'm very glad that our awesome ladies (Just married, Rosebud, Stephie, Zandark, Bears, Wonderstars, Small star, Uwa_Amanda, anyone else I missed) were there to defend the ENTIRE LTTC and especially our thread. :hugs::thumbup::thumbup: Well done!!
> 
> A brilliant idea that Zandark has about making the LTTC section private. I agree that it should be shared with those who are LTTC (and not just #1). Hopefully, the Mods will make it private. Although we hold our own well against attacks :thumbup:, I don't like to appear naughty and be a problem for mods. :blush:
> 
> Zan Dark and Rosebud, join us in ranting? Our thread is safe. :flower:

I missed it all too! It has been a crazy week at work and I haven't been able to make time for myself, including my bnb addiction...specifically this thread! I hope this does go private but if not, I hope this thread never closes. You ladies are my life support!!! I wish I could have voiced my opinion as well, which is the same as all of yours. Thank you ladies for speaking up in our defense. Unfortunately, I do agree that we will remain the misunderstoods. No one could ever even imagine what we go through without walking in our shoes. At least we all have each other <3


----------



## Just_married

Uwa-Amanda think we all get like that sometimes. I was exactly the same about 2 weeks ago. I put it down to hormones. I heard of the death of an island friend a few days later and it was cathartic, at least dh wasn't scratching his head wondering what he had done wrong. Ironic eh?

You sound weary, I'm giving you a virtual bear hug & prescribing a takeaway & complete control of the remote today. Hope you feel better soon xxx


----------



## smallstar

My early morning vent!....Peoples ignorance and lack of understanding regarding infertility!!!! This primarily stems back to yesterdays conversations, but it really got me thinking about how little people understand about infertility....and this includes ME!!! Until obviously experiencing this first hand prior to this i had NO IDEA about this!!!
It got me thinking about sex education and school and getting the talk from the school nurse about periods, safe sex etc...not once do i ever remember someone in a biology lesson or otherwise telling me that sometimes the "simple" course of reproduction DOES NOT WORK!!!!! :(

I&#8217;m in my late 20's and i know that things have not improved in schools since i was there!!! I have a brother who is in his teens at secondary school and i know that the onus is now all about safe sex!!! 

It really saddens me as i think the reasoning behind every ignorant, insensitive comment is, apart from the obvious lack of personal experience in infertility BUT more so the fact that unless this directly affects you....you will never be educated about the facts and the reality that this exists and happens in REAL LIFE!!!! 

I genuinely feel upset knowing that the only reason i understand what i do and sympathise like i do is because its happening to me :( Otherwise i don&#8217;t know if i would know about the other side of TTC....IF!!!!

When we decided on starting a family NEVER did this cross my mind because i didn&#8217;t know it existed!!

Just feel sad that this is not something that is talked about more openly and that people aren&#8217;t educated about it!!!

x


----------



## Just_married

Removed by Admin!


----------



## wannabemummyb

Removed by Admin!


----------



## smallstar

Removed by Admin!


----------



## Wobbles

Some posts have been removed as per the TOS:


> Social network activity that affects BabyandBump or its members is subject to the same etiquette and guidelines as set out in our very first forum rule ("Rudeness, flaming or trolling is not tolerated on, or about, BabyandBump or its members"). Cross posting (cross referencing discussions/disputes between social networking websites and BabyandBump.com) is not permitted.


----------



## Just_married

Sigh!


----------



## BearsMummy

Uh oh, Wobbles is on our case!! :haha:

Well the past few days on BnB have certainly been lively! Although I had to keep going to the dentist. :dohh:
I keep missing things!! I had to go out to buy, of all things, baby food, because my stupid tooth broke again, and I can't eat solids. Hows that for a kicker! (I love Rusks!!)

I am in on team LTTC!!

And I like the idea of the convention! I'll make the cakes!


----------



## smallstar

Sorry if i have upset the apple cart :( Really was not my intention....im still wondering what i said wrong to be fair...but clearly have and have had my wrists slapped :(

Sorry!

x


----------



## Just_married

smallstar said:


> Sorry if i have upset the apple cart :( Really was not my intention....im still wondering what i said wrong to be fair...but clearly have and have had my wrists slapped :(
> 
> Sorry!
> 
> x

Your post was removed because it included a reply with quote from my post which was trying to make us laugh about people's attitudes to us (if we don't laugh we will cry).

But can I just point out I've been made an example of please? If cross referencing and quoting others on this site is against rules then how would it even work? Every thread I see is recycling info, quotes & anecdotes from other threads and users. If my post gets removed for this reason then why not all others which do the same?

And I am pretty much offended at admin using a quote which suggests I was trolling. What? I'm not the one who is stalking ltttc threads and posting inflammatory responses to women clearly needing venting space! Who reported my post? I needn't ask, I know it was someone from the pregnancy forums trolling themselves, knowing there would be an emotional response to their posts from yesterday.

Ladies needing space to vent in here deserve privacy. We don't troll over pregnancy forums tellin others how they should feel/act. The most frustrating aspect is that one sensible user tried to change things the RIGHT way by requesting our area be made private? It's ironic that the response to that was practically non existant, yet the response to my post was immediate. 

Well thanks very much. Ladies, if I get kicked off for questioning admin well it's been great knowing you, I'll just bog off to the land of secrecy where I don't talk about how upsetting things are and I pretend people don't offend me by giving me advice.

Troll? Jeezo!!


----------



## StephieB

God a girl goes to sleep and all hell breaks loose! We just cannot be left to our own devices for too long it seems :shrug:

I'm slightly confused as to what has happened and why post are being removed :shrug: I can't imagine smallstar and just_married having a vindictive bone in their bodies. :hugs: but obviously we appreciate all the work the mods put into keeping this site running smoothly so hopefully any misunderstandings will be cleared up soon. 

Smallstar - I could have written your post myself!! Me and DH had a really long rant to each other about people being uneducated about IF and how if it wasn't for us having gone through it, we wouldn't know anything about it either! (I ranted about this on my blog for a while too :blush:) when I first came out and told my best friend she was fascinated about everything I was telling her about conception and ovulation and things that can go wrong. Obviously she knew how a baby was made, but she didn't know about having a fertile time of the month, temperatures of hormones or anything, she didn't even know what a cervix did :haha: so it was nice to educate her and her seem genuinely interested in what we were going through. 

Uwa-Amanda - Im sorry you were having a down day, massive :hugs: and a couple of these :wine: (even if it is only 1pm on a Friday!). I really think sometimes just sitting and having a damn good cry is the best thing to do, I think we spend so long going through life ignoring things and not letting things get to us, that if we didn't have these days to just cry and get it out of our systems, we wouldn't be human! 

I'm all for the LTTTC convention, wonder how much organising would go into flying us all into the same place :haha: 

Bears - You can make those gorgeous looking meringue cupcakes! mmmmmm. Also, sorry I didn't text back yesterday, my phone died, and by the time I got home to charge it, it was not a suitable time to respond! Hope the tooths getting better :flower:


----------



## zanDark

aawwww *BearsMummy *I'm sorry about your tooth hun!! :hugs: I hate hate hate dentists...

even more since I met my MIL because she's a dentist too :haha::haha: and a piece of work :haha:

hope your tooth stops bothering you! :hugs::hugs: 

*smallStar* you're absolutely right!! people tell us all our lives that we need to be extremely careful about getting pregnant in our teens....and the only time I ever heard about "infertility" was when a woman was "barren" and could never have kids because of some very serious condition!! 

I went to a doctor once when I was 19 because the condom broke and I was worried I was pregnant (ironic!!) and he said that he was sure I wasn't because I was stressed about it....but that I should be careful because I might get lucky once or twice but that's it!!!

I'd like to tell him I've gotten "lucky" 09348203984920348236483648 times in the past 28 months!! :haha::haha::haha:

seriously tho...people should be more informed. But something tells me that even the people that are informed either just don't get it, or think it's not that big a deal!!!! I'm sure most people who come in here to read think that we're overreacting and mean. But I know how wonderful and supportive you all are :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::flower:


----------



## smallstar

Id like to think i dont have a vindictive bone in my body!!! Its really not in my nature!!! 

I just wish more people understood from the outset what making a baby actually means, and this includes the good and bad! We all learn about contraception and how the sperm fertilises the egg, but do we ever learn about irregular periods, ovulation timings, INFERTILITY!!? NO!!!!

Just really saddened me and i wanted to get it off my chest....i admit i did vent about how generally people that have not been directly affected by IF cannot possibly comprehend the heartache and pain we go through....just like i couldn&#8217;t sympathise with someone who has morning sickness or post natal depression....yes i know what it feels like to be sick and deeply depressed and anxious, but its NOT the same as what they experience....but dont want to say anymore as dont want to get in any trouble and get booted off here as this place has REALLY helped me recently....x


----------



## zanDark

aww hun don't worry :hugs::hugs: I don't think anyone is getting banned!! 

It's possible that someone felt they were targeted and reported the post for whatever reason, or Wobbles felt like it was an invite to cause problems :hugs:
We just need to keep in mind that _*anyone*_ can come into the venting thread and read what we write!! I've noticed some unkown names on the bottom where it says who's reading, and some known ones that aren't even TTC let alone LTTTC. So I guess we have to be careful about venting our frustration about the incident that happened to make sure things aren't stirred up again :hugs:

we're all a bit strung up I think and upset still, but things will get back to normal soon enough! :hugs: I know I'm still upset about it...but the forum has it's rules and I'm sure we'll all do our best to abide to them :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## wannabemummyb

Righto not really sure why my post was removed but hey ho!

My rant was still valid surely?! So here goes again! Babies seem to be like buses, according to bragbook, three friends have had babies in 24 hours! Would like to know when the bus will stop at my bus stop?!


----------



## StephieB

Smallstar - You can't get booted off here, you're too brilliant :hugs:

I completely agree with you, its like some sort of vicious cycle! Obviously people who are insensitive to infertility and make flippant comments (I'm not talking about anyone in particular, or the past few days events, just in general) upset and frustrate us so much, and we are bound to defend ourselves whole heartedly! But (don't shoot me down for saying thing) part of me understands why they would say such things because a) they have no understanding of what we're going through and b) it seems to be such a taboo topic, that I'm not surprised they don't know more about it. 

That is in no way forgiving people for making simply upsetting and inappropriate remarks about infertile couples/women/men, just people who ask questions that wind us up like "have you tried IVF" or "what about adoption" because before any of this happened I would have probably thought the same! There definitely needs to be more of an education on infertility, but you just don't see it mentioned, EVER! There aren't leaflets in doctor waiting rooms, or support groups of charities set up trying to find new methods or procedures like there are for other medical problems, it frustrates me. Maybe we should be advocates for infertility and tour the world educating them on the ways of infertility (But only when we're not in our fertile window/having IUI/having IVF/attending FS appointments or busy timing BD :haha:)

ZanDark - I was on the pill for 9 years and remember a couple of times in particular I forgot to take it, or was sick etc... and was CONVINCED i was pregnant. Now I just laugh and think what a waste of time that was! :shrug:


----------



## StephieB

> Babies seem to be like buses, according to bragbook, three friends have had babies in 24 hours! Would like to know when the bus will stop at my bus stop?!

Meh, I never did like public transport anyway!! :winkwink:


----------



## smallstar

I think that both our posts were removed as we had "quoted" certain aspects of another post that was deemed inappropriate :( Well thats what i think anway....im not sure otherwise why mine was removed!!!


----------



## BearsMummy

Thanks zanDark, it does feel a bit better today, the problem with me is, I'm a qualified dental nurse, so I know whats going on in there!!

Stephie, I am completely offended that you didn't text me back!! :rofl:

Going way OT, I have 6 days left of my 8 week wait and a letter has arrived addressed to OH and I, so the only thing I can think of its from the PCT about my funding. BUT he is at work until 7pm. and its not fair if I open it on my own, and if its bad news, I don't know how I would react, especially being on my own. I have emailed him to tell him, but he can't get out of work any earlier ( he is a prison officer) so I am stuck in limbo land. I feel sick with worry.

On a good note though, my CRB check has finally been completed!! It was started on 29th March!! So I am just waiting to hear about if/when I can start my new job!!

I hope today is a day for good news.


----------



## wannabemummyb

Smallstar thanks for clarifying hun :hug:


----------



## zanDark

> just people who ask questions that wind us up like "have you tried IVF" or "what about adoption"

this could easily cause me to keel over and die :haha::haha::haha:

so many people ask these questions!! It's unreal!!! I never actually knew anyone other than my mom who had infertility problems!! Just one cousin that went through early menopause when I was very young and I couldn't understand her situation at all because of my age! I don't remember what medication etc they gave her, but she has two gorgeous kids now that are 23 and 19 :cloud9:

I wish people would think about what it's like to have IVF or how difficult it actually is to adopt (at least in Greece it is!) before asking questions like that! Actually I think people should just NOT ask questions unless they've read up on IF...most of my friends never ask me anything and wait for me to mention something because I can't always talk about it! 

My MIL is the worst!!! Even tho I've told her that PART of our problem was OH not being able to perform due to anxiety, she constantly asks me if my tubes were checked, if I ovulate, if my periods are regular, if I've stopped thinking about it!! Not to mention that she called my mother to ask why I was in the hospital years ago to see if it had something to do with my reproductive system!! She also called MY doctor to see if we were having IUI :dohh::dohh::dohh: she obviously thinks it's MY fault that we haven't had children yet!


----------



## smallstar

StephieB said:


> Smallstar - You can't get booted off here, you're too brilliant :hugs:
> 
> I completely agree with you, its like some sort of vicious cycle! Obviously people who are insensitive to infertility and make flippant comments (I'm not talking about anyone in particular, or the past few days events, just in general) upset and frustrate us so much, and we are bound to defend ourselves whole heartedly! But (don't shoot me down for saying thing) part of me understands why they would say such things because a) they have no understanding of what we're going through and b) it seems to be such a taboo topic, that I'm not surprised they don't know more about it.
> 
> That is in no way forgiving people for making simply upsetting and inappropriate remarks about infertile couples/women/men, just people who ask questions that wind us up like "have you tried IVF" or "what about adoption" because before any of this happened I would have probably thought the same! There definitely needs to be more of an education on infertility, but you just don't see it mentioned, EVER! There aren't leaflets in doctor waiting rooms, or support groups of charities set up trying to find new methods or procedures like there are for other medical problems, it frustrates me. Maybe we should be advocates for infertility and tour the world educating them on the ways of infertility (But only when we're not in our fertile window/having IUI/having IVF/attending FS appointments or busy timing BD :haha:)
> 
> ZanDark - I was on the pill for 9 years and remember a couple of times in particular I forgot to take it, or was sick etc... and was CONVINCED i was pregnant. Now I just laugh and think what a waste of time that was! :shrug:

I completely agree StephieB, there seems to be so little information available to people when TTC with regards to possible difficulties, im not saying scare mongering but its REALITY this does exist and does happen so why is it hidden away and treated like....the bubonic plaugue!!! 

Feel really down today about it all :cry:


----------



## StephieB

zanDark - Haha your MIL sounds interesting! We often have problems with DH suffering from anxiety during the most important time of the month, but we've not divulged that information with his parents at this moment in time! 

As for interesting MIL, yesterday I went furniture shopping with mine so we spent the whole day together and we got to talking about infertility and IVF etc...we only told our families about our IF last week, so it's still kinda the elephant in the room whenever we're around, but yesterday she mentioned that she had sent the letter we wrote to my SIL to read when we came out about our infertility. 

Anyway, apparently DHs sister replied with "...well me and Natalie will have to IVF if we ever want kids" (DHs sister came out as gay just before christmas) before i even start on how that comment made me feel, MIL then turned to me and said "Or they could even use a surrogate, maybe they should ask you" WHAT???? :help:


----------



## Zfbaby

Hi all, I have a question about the issues with privacy that people are talking about. If this thread was made private or as someone suggested limited to those with a certain amount of posts under their belt how would that work? Does that mean someone like myself would not be able to join in or would I have to apply??? Confused and hoping my newly found haven won't close. Thanks


----------



## StephieB

Bears - I know I'm a right cow bag :haha:

I'm so excited for you, I really hope its the letter you've been waiting for and its brilliant news for you!! :thumbup::thumbup:


----------



## smallstar

StephieB - THIS is exactly what i mean when i say about people trying to say in one way or the other " i know how you feel"....i hope you don&#8217;t mind me saying but clearly your SIL has no idea how you feel!!! The majority of people (in general!) DO NOT understand because infertility has not DIRECTLY affected them.....if you are not experiencing IF yourself you can sympathise with people but you will never understand exactly how this feels :(


----------



## StephieB

Smallstar - The worst part of this is, that I don't actually think they understand what the process of IVF is! My DH was more upset by the comment than I was really, I suppose I'm used to brushing off comments here and there. But he did ring her to speak to her, and tried to explain that although he could appreciate and understand that it would require IVF or similar for her and her partner to achieve a pregnancy, they're not infertile so please don't compare the two situations or belittle infertility, because it was just upsetting. 

What made me laugh is that he actually said "If anything you're the opposite of infertile!! You have two bloody uteruses and 4 ovaries between you!" I had to remind him that although that was true, they had no sperm so it wasn't quite the opposite of infertile. He doesn't half make me giggle :haha:

(I'm beginning to feel really bad for not knowing your real names btw, it seems odd speaking to people regularly and referring to them as their username, so I apologise!)


----------



## smallstar

Your DH's comment just actually made me laugh out loud....had to stop myself as people i work with might actually think i am bonkers!!! I think like you i am so used to brushing off flippant comments from freinds and family, whereas my DF tends to get heated at certain things that people say and has small out bursts, which in turn make me laugh...coz he just blurts out what his head is thinking before going through the brain filter :)

I hadn&#8217;t really thought about that...but i have no reason to not be referred to by my real name its Jena....x


----------



## zanDark

Zfbaby said:


> Hi all, I have a question about the issues with privacy that people are talking about. If this thread was made private or as someone suggested limited to those with a certain amount of posts under their belt how would that work? Does that mean someone like myself would not be able to join in or would I have to apply??? Confused and hoping my newly found haven won't close. Thanks

Hi hun! I don't think you'll have anything to worry about! I don't think anything is going to be made private TBH :hugs:

We'll wait and see if the thread I made gets addressed...but I'm not feeling too positive about it! :hugs:


----------



## zanDark

I have a vent!!! But it would probably get removed seeing as it has to do with the lurkers at the bottom of the page...so I'll just vent in my head :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:


----------



## SunUp

I haven't been on here in a while, but I need to get this off my chest... I WILL BASH THE HEAD IN OF THE NEXT PERSON THAT ASKS ME WHEN I AM HAVING KIDS. As if that was anyones business in the first place... Grrrrrrrr. its been almost 2 years and now on iui 2. So I DONT KNOW! And even if I did know, chances are I wouldn't tell anyway!


----------



## wannabemummyb

Hi Sunup and welcome. Sorry to hear your vent.

Steph you dh's comment made me chuckle. My name's Bex (short for Rebecca) btw


----------



## StephieB

Jena and Bex :yipee: now we sound like real human being having a conversation! (but obviously I understand if people don't want to disclose their real name) I think mines fairly obvious, but Steph is me! 

SunUp


> I WILL BASH THE HEAD IN OF THE NEXT PERSON THAT ASKS ME WHEN I AM HAVING KIDS.

This really made me laugh for some reason, it reminded me of a Charlie Kelly style rant (Its always sunny in philidelphia :shrug:) but massive hugs to you :hugs:


----------



## BearsMummy

Wobbles has replied to the other thread.

:cry:

zanDark - I'm with you on that vent!!! :growlmad:

Stephie - Thanks for the support, I'm pooping it, Bongo has just emailed me to say it comes in three's (PCT, CRB....) so we should put the Euromillions on tonight. I told him to not jinx it incase one of them is bad news, now that will mean three lots of bad news!! :dohh:


----------



## uwa_amanda

StephieB said:


> Jena and Bex :yipee: now we sound like real human being having a conversation! (but obviously I understand if people don't want to disclose their real name) I think mines fairly obvious, but Steph is me!
> 
> SunUp
> 
> 
> I WILL BASH THE HEAD IN OF THE NEXT PERSON THAT ASKS ME WHEN I AM HAVING KIDS.
> 
> This really made me laugh for some reason, it reminded me of a Charlie Kelly style rant (Its always sunny in philidelphia :shrug:) but massive hugs to you :hugs:Click to expand...

Hi Jena, Bex, and Steph...my name is fairly easy too...I'm Amanda!


----------



## hopingforit

SunUp said:


> I haven't been on here in a while, but I need to get this off my chest... I WILL BASH THE HEAD IN OF THE NEXT PERSON THAT ASKS ME WHEN I AM HAVING KIDS. As if that was anyones business in the first place... Grrrrrrrr. its been almost 2 years and now on iui 2. So I DONT KNOW! And even if I did know, chances are I wouldn't tell anyway!

I completely agree with this! I get so frustrated when this happens but I usually just say "whenever it happens". I live 500 miles away from my family and when I went back for a visit, my sister in law, who is also battling infertility (probably around 6 years now but she doesn't have insurance so she can't get help) asked me when I'm going to have kids. Now, normally if anyone else asked, this would bother me, but because it was her, it didn't. Well, here comes my dad butting his head in and he says, "Oh, I'll answer this for you" - "They are not trying but not preventing". WTF??????????? Has he ever bothered to ask me what we are doing? NO! I even hinted to him a few months before that it was taking a long time. Oh that pissed me off. :growlmad:

After I get pregnant, I will bring it up to him. I will call him out on it. People need to mind their own business. The only person i told was my mother because she made me feel guilty saying that she was going to die before I gave her a grandchild (She's 43!!!!!!). Some people are just so insensitive. Almost 2 years ago when I started trying, I probably would have asked people the same questions but unless you've gone through LTTTC, you don't really know how it feels. Now, I am far more sensitive about the pregnancy subject. I would NEVER ask someone when they are going to have kids now.


----------



## BearsMummy

I put my real name in my post the other day, but no one calls me it except Stephie!

Its Karen btw! 
I don't mind if people would rather address me by my username or my real name. My best friend calls me 'bitch', I can't actually remember the last time she used my given name!


----------



## smallstar

BearsMummy said:


> I put my real name in my post the other day, but no one calls me it except Stephie!
> 
> Its Karen btw!
> I don't mind if people would rather address me by my username or my real name. My best friend calls me 'bitch', I can't actually remember the last time she used my given name!

:rofl: What a lovely freind!!! LOL!! This really made me smile....


----------



## BearsMummy

smallstar said:


> BearsMummy said:
> 
> 
> I put my real name in my post the other day, but no one calls me it except Stephie!
> 
> Its Karen btw!
> I don't mind if people would rather address me by my username or my real name. My best friend calls me 'bitch', I can't actually remember the last time she used my given name!
> 
> :rofl: What a lovely freind!!! LOL!! This really made me smile....Click to expand...

Thats just the way we are! We ahve called each other that for over 20 years now, so it's just stuck!
I wish I could change my username to *BITCH*


----------



## StephieB

Karen I don't even know how you've got the mental will power to sit and stare at an envelope and not tear it open! You are a far better woman than me, but then again I usually end up having all my christmas presents before christmas day because I'm just too bloody impatient! How long do you have to wait until Bongo gets home? 

Rant: 

I was reading a newspaper article about the NHS bringing in new guidelines for sam sex couples to be allowed to receive IVF on the NHS and they were upping the age limit to 42 instead of 39 happydance:) https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9281534/Gay-couples-and-women-over-40-to-get-free-IVF-treatment-on-NHS.html

But the comments made from reader made me feel so disgusted that I regret even putting myself through it!


----------



## Wobbles

zanDark said:


> I have a vent!!! But it would probably get removed seeing as it has to do with the lurkers at the bottom of the page...so I'll just vent in my head :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:

This is TWICE now zandark and it's not acceptable forum activity. Rightly I should issue you a temp ban or an infraction. Vent thread or alternative FB status thread you know the rules. Indirectly naming your problem doesn't excuse it.

Wind it in!



BearsMummy said:


> Wobbles has replied to the other thread.
> 
> :cry:
> 
> zanDark - I'm with you on that vent!!! :growlmad:
> 
> Stephie - Thanks for the support, I'm pooping it, Bongo has just emailed me to say it comes in three's (PCT, CRB....) so we should put the Euromillions on tonight. I told him to not jinx it incase one of them is bad news, now that will mean three lots of bad news!! :dohh:

BearsMummy could we have less of the angry expressions on an Admins decision. The thread has been closed and cross posting is not permitted especially when leaving more bad feelings.

*This is a public forum *if people don't accept that any more then only you can decide whether using the forum is right for you.

End of matter or I will close this thread!


----------



## smallstar

[Removed by Admin]

We have this thread and will just have to continue the battle and support one another....you have all made me feel so welcome here and "normal" in such a short space of time.....Thanks everyone 

For every bad comment we get be it here or anywhere else, the support and help that comes as a result is tenfold and that to me wins hands down anyway :hugs:

x


----------



## smallstar

Wobbles - Apologies i made reference to the above mentioned post in my post before i saw your comment.....sorry it was an innocent mistake!


----------



## Just_married

Removed quote re admins wishes

This made me laugh, which is a miracle as I've had a bit of a meltdown today. Just spent about 20 mins crying into dh arms about how people don't realise how much their words hurt others. I guess it being a tough few weeks, losing a friend last week & being in pain hasn't helped. 

The names along the bottom are a kick in the teeth. The one place I felt safe to express my hurt has now become a goldfish bowl for ppl to feel smug about. I hope they feel proud of themselves, I know they are watching right now.


----------



## StephieB

> We have this thread and will just have to continue the battle and support one another....you have all made me feel so welcome here and "normal" in such a short space of time.....Thanks everyone
> 
> For every bad comment we get be it here or anywhere else, the support and help that comes as a result is tenfold and that to me wins hands down anyway
> 
> x

^ This.


----------



## BearsMummy

StephieB said:


> Karen I don't even know how you've got the mental will power to sit and stare at an envelope and not tear it open! You are a far better woman than me, but then again I usually end up having all my christmas presents before christmas day because I'm just too bloody impatient! How long do you have to wait until Bongo gets home?
> 
> Rant:
> 
> I was reading a newspaper article about the NHS bringing in new guidelines for sam sex couples to be allowed to receive IVF on the NHS and they were upping the age limit to 42 instead of 39 happydance:) https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9281534/Gay-couples-and-women-over-40-to-get-free-IVF-treatment-on-NHS.html
> 
> But the comments made from reader made me feel so disgusted that I regret even putting myself through it!

I don't know how I'm doing it either, on one hand, I would prefer to open it on my own, but B and I are in this together, it's his future as much as mine, so I'll just have to wait until he gets home. He should be home about 7pm. If no one hears from me for a while, you know its bad news and I am drowning my sorrows with Vodka, Brandy, Whiskey and wine!


----------



## BearsMummy

Wobbles said:


> zanDark said:
> 
> 
> I have a vent!!! But it would probably get removed seeing as it has to do with the lurkers at the bottom of the page...so I'll just vent in my head :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:
> 
> This is TWICE now zandark and it's not acceptable forum activity. Rightly I should issue you a temp ban or an infraction. Vent thread or alternative FB status thread you know the rules. Indirectly naming your problem doesn't excuse it.
> 
> Wind it in!
> 
> 
> 
> BearsMummy said:
> 
> 
> Wobbles has replied to the other thread.
> 
> :cry:
> 
> zanDark - I'm with you on that vent!!! :growlmad:
> 
> Stephie - Thanks for the support, I'm pooping it, Bongo has just emailed me to say it comes in three's (PCT, CRB....) so we should put the Euromillions on tonight. I told him to not jinx it incase one of them is bad news, now that will mean three lots of bad news!! :dohh:Click to expand...
> 
> BearsMummy could we have less of the angry expressions on an Admins decision. The thread has been closed and cross posting is not permitted especially when leaving more bad feelings.
> 
> *This is a public forum *if people don't accept that any more then only you can decide whether using the forum is right for you.
> 
> End of matter or I will close this thread!Click to expand...

Wobbles - I am sorry if I came across as angry, I really didn't mean to.

Thank you for taking the time to consider our request so quicly anyway.


----------



## StephieB

> I don't know how I'm doing it either, on one hand, I would prefer to open it on my own, but B and I are in this together, it's his future as much as mine, so I'll just have to wait until he gets home. He should be home about 7pm. If no one hears from me for a while, you know its bad news and I am drowning my sorrows with Vodka, Brandy, Whiskey and wine!

I truly hope its the news you're wanting! :flower: Have you not even done the whole, holding it up to the light to se if you can read anything through the paper? Or trying to see past the little clear window to read the first line? Nope...just me that does that then :haha:


----------



## BearsMummy

StephieB said:


> I don't know how I'm doing it either, on one hand, I would prefer to open it on my own, but B and I are in this together, it's his future as much as mine, so I'll just have to wait until he gets home. He should be home about 7pm. If no one hears from me for a while, you know its bad news and I am drowning my sorrows with Vodka, Brandy, Whiskey and wine!
> 
> I truly hope its the news you're wanting! :flower: Have you not even done the whole, holding it up to the light to se if you can read anything through the paper? Or trying to see past the little clear window to read the first line? Nope...just me that does that then :haha:Click to expand...

I tried!! No such luck!

The letter is huge!! Feels like loads and loads of pages, so I've got myself convinced that its a rejection letter, but they have sent the forms/advice on how to appeal.


----------



## uwa_amanda

Hi ladies,

I think I am going to take a break from BnB for a couple of days. Nothing against anyone...I have just had a rough couple of days and need to mentally recoup. I'll be back in a couple of days! I have been feeling down for a couple of days and feel like needing a really good cry. :cry:

See you soon!


----------



## StephieB

*OR* it could be loads of forms to complete for the funding! Like which route you want to go down, information on each of the procedures, forms for the fertility specialists at the new place?? :amartass: If it was a rejection letter, I don't know, but I would imagine it would be fairly short with details of how to appeal at the bottom. :winkwink:


----------



## StephieB

Amanda I hope a few days away from us trouble causers will help you feel more refreshed and better in yourself. We'll miss you :hugs:


----------



## BearsMummy

uwa_amanda said:


> Hi ladies,
> 
> I think I am going to take a break from BnB for a couple of days. Nothing against anyone...I have just had a rough couple of days and need to mentally recoup. I'll be back in a couple of days! I have been feeling down for a couple of days and feel like needing a really good cry. :cry:
> 
> See you soon!

Amanda, I hope you feel better soon. I know sometimes a break is the only thing to do. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Come back soon xxx


----------



## Just_married

Amanda hope you feel better soon. Huge hugs!

My husband is in the other room, I can hear him strumming & singing a song he has just written 10 mins ago. It's called 'all good things come to those who wait'. 

Praying for those good things to come soon! Meanwhile: chocolate! X


----------



## BearsMummy

StephieB said:


> *OR* it could be loads of forms to complete for the funding! Like which route you want to go down, information on each of the procedures, forms for the fertility specialists at the new place?? :amartass: If it was a rejection letter, I don't know, but I would imagine it would be fairly short with details of how to appeal at the bottom. :winkwink:

SHHHH Stephie!! Don't get my hopes up!! :haha:


----------



## smallstar

Amanda BIG HUGS!!!! Hope you feel mentally rejuvenated after a few days off :)

Ladies....after a rather troublesome week all round, i hope the weekend brings us ALL something, just ANYTHING to make us smile.... :)

x


----------



## StephieB

> SHHHH Stephie!! Don't get my hopes up!!

Eagerly counting down to hear from you later! 

Jena - I have to start the very boring job of marking A Level exam papers tomorrow, so my weekend will not be spent smiling!:dohh: Although it seems like I have no life, as I am on here so often, I'm actually a teacher in the real world! Currently on half term and my husband is at work, hence why my days have been spent keeping myself occupied on here while its pissing it down outside :thumbup:


----------



## wannabemummyb

Cor blimey ladies, I only went away for a short while.

Amanda, I find a couple of days away helps. Collect your thoughts and ome back refreshed :hugs: i hope it helps you stabilise your head.

My rant is none ttc related, we are staying with the future in laws, my goodness can df diagree with his father!! They have no patience with each other! Would like to bang their heads together

Karen, fingers crossed for you on the letter front


----------



## wonderstars

This is the only thread I've started, you can't take it away! :winkwink:

What an exciting few days and I missed it. Darn you Europeans and your different time zones. Made me miss it all.

My vent for today:
Clomid is the devil's drug. Screwed up my cycle so much. Aargh. I will throw a tantrum if that's what the fertility specialist recommends. And on that note, a 6 month wait for an FS is ridiculous! :growlmad:


----------



## Armywife84

:hissy::hissy: I keep missing everything!! Can someone fill me in on PM? Surely that's allowed. :shrug:

I can't be bothered with watching what I say in LTTC (still staying within BNB guidelines). Our vents are valid, and this is our section, apparent safe haven. If people (not speaking about anyone in particular) come onto our turf and start attacking us, then well the gloves are off. 

(not speaking or referring to anyone in particular, these are just my thoughts)

Yeah we should watch what we say because we don't know who's reading this, but the same could be said for every other section. First Tri should watch what they say about miscarriages because it could offend someone from the Loss Section. Parenting shouldn't talk about PND, because it could offend a LTTCer suffering from depression because she doesn't have a baby. 2nd Tri should watch their complaints about morning sickness because it could upset a LTTCer pr TTCer. Baby Club shouldn't complain about their brats because it could offend TTC, WTT, and LTTC. I could keep going but we all get the point. No one is going to watch what they say in their section they belong to, I wouldn't expect them to. 

If I curiously peer onto First Tri...I'm expected to go over there with respect, not guns blazing because I read something that offended me. For the record, I don't go over there because I have no business being over there. What I'm trying to say is everyone should respect each other's sections. Don't like what some of the members say in there, don't go in that section. It's that simple. 

Stephie- Public transport is rather grubby and can smell like wee :rofl:


----------



## zanDark

BearsMummy said:


> I put my real name in my post the other day, but no one calls me it except Stephie!
> 
> Its Karen btw!
> I don't mind if people would rather address me by my username or my real name. My best friend calls me 'bitch', I can't actually remember the last time she used my given name!

:haha::haha: my name is Evie :thumbup:

now I need to go back because everyone's name is quoted and I haven't figured out who is who :haha::blush:


----------



## zanDark

uwa_amanda said:


> Hi ladies,
> 
> I think I am going to take a break from BnB for a couple of days. Nothing against anyone...I have just had a rough couple of days and need to mentally recoup. I'll be back in a couple of days! I have been feeling down for a couple of days and feel like needing a really good cry. :cry:
> 
> See you soon!

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::cry:


----------



## StephieB

> I can't be bothered with watching what I say in LTTC (still staying within BNB guidelines). Our vents are valid, and this is our section, apparent safe haven. If people (not speaking about anyone in particular) come onto our turf and start attacking us, then well the gloves are off.
> 
> (not speaking or referring to anyone in particular, these are just my thoughts)
> 
> Yeah we should watch what we say because we don't know who's reading this, but the same could be said for every other section. First Tri should watch what they say about miscarriages because it could offend someone from the Loss Section. Parenting shouldn't talk about PND, because it could offend a LTTCer suffering from depression because she doesn't have a baby. 2nd Tri should watch their complaints about morning sickness because it could upset a LTTCer pr TTCer. Baby Club shouldn't complain about their brats because it could offend TTC, WTT, and LTTC. I could keep going but we all get the point. No one is going to watch what they say in their section they belong to, I wouldn't expect them to.
> 
> If I curiously peer onto First Tri...I'm expected to go over there with respect, not guns blazing because I read something that offended me. For the record, I don't go over there because I have no business being over there. What I'm trying to say is everyone should respect each other's sections. Don't like what some of the members say in there, don't go in that section. It's that simple.

:thumbup: Brilliant words Army! 

Yep grubby and often smells of wee, funny how that can also describe a lot of LTTTC! :haha:

i LOVE the name Evie :flower:



> What an exciting few days and I missed it. Darn you Europeans and your different time zones. Made me miss it all.

At least we're scattered across different time zones, always someone on look out duty :winkwink:

I started Clomid again today, and it gives me TERRIBLE nightmares! Last cycle I had nightmares every night I took it, and that was about my only side effect apart from a few hot flushes (but I was in Spain at the time) so Im really not looking forward to sleeping tonight. Im such a baby!


----------



## Armywife84

Another rant for the day (non baby related):

-I ordered this lovely ikat print on Nordstrom's website. Today, I looked in my email to see it was canceled!! :growlmad::growlmad: WTH? I called the helpless customer service number wondering why I was charged and my order was being canceled. Apparently, they didn't have enough mediums when it came round to my order. WTF? :grr:

-DH and I arguing about him not spending enough time with me. Don't get me wrong I'm not needy, but after he gets off work he goes straight to his laptop. Then he barely speaks a sentence to me the rest of the night. Last time I checked we weren't roommates!! :haha:

Of course this is all around ovulation, so he's not going to want to do it with the arguing. Plus I'm stressed out, so I probably won't ovulate till later if it all. I'm just exhausted from work, LTTC, and how our marriage has been going. :cry::cry:


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## zanDark

Steph: wow that's a terrible side effect!!!! When I was on clomid I had loads of hot flashes (I went outside in a tshirt and jeans in the dead of winter :haha: ) but I've never had nightmares!! :hugs: nightmares suck!!! 

Army: sometimes it's like that with us too!!! But I've gotten used to it since we sit together with our laptops or iPads and talk about random stuff at the same time :haha::haha: I tend to be needy before AF gets here and he just laughs when I whine and tells me "I love you and it will all be better in a few days" :haha::blush:

I'm sorry about your order!! I hate it when crap like that happens :growlmad:


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## StephieB

:drunk: this is for you Army. I hate ovulation week, I hate what it turns me into and me and DH spend more time avoiding each other! 

As awful as it sounds, I genuinely think that every time I get a :bfn: at the end of the month, or AF shows up, about 20% of my tears are to mourn the loss of what could have been, and the other 80% is because it means I have to go through another god forsaken ovulation week again! :haha:

Evie, oh god Clomid nightmares are *EVIL*. Pure evil. I have never had any nightmares that I can remember, but I had 5 in April, funnily enough on CD 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6! I thought it was just a very bizarre coincidence but upon further research I found that Clomid nightmares do actually exist! They are really awful vivid realistic nightmares as well. I remember on particular one last month was DH leaving me for another woman, because then he could have a baby, but he said he was taking my womb with him, then she came out of the bathroom with a knife and they both jumped on me :shrug:


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## BearsMummy

I feel like a right dipshit!!

It was a letter from the bank offering is an upgrade on our bank account!!

Back to the waiting!

I did put the euro millions on tonight an approximate £126 million would be cool, then I could pay for not only my IVF but also any treatment you lovely ladies need!


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## zanDark

OMG Steph that nightmare sounds horrible!!!! :wacko::wacko:

BearsMummy aawww you got worked up over nothing!! :hugs::hugs::hugs: oooooo if you win we can have an IVF party and all get preggo at the same time :rofl::rofl: that would be epic :haha:


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## zanDark

I want to vent about SIL and MIL showing up at my door or calling me only when they want something :growlmad:

MIL asked me to babysit the kids but I couldn't since I had already made plans (and I only go out like once or twice a week) and obviously didn't like that I said no! :dohh:

Seriously?! Just because your daughter decided that she wants to have two kids even tho her work schedule is insane and YOU have to stay home every single day to take care of them doesn't mean that we're all going to be locked up to take care of their every need!!! Try telling me a couple of days before you want me to babysit and not last minute!! I have a life unlike the rest of you!! 

I love those kids...but I only get to see them when SIL wants something from me! She never just brings them upstairs to play...and always has an excuse when I tell her to come upstairs!!!

I'm not surprised that SIL has NO friends other than her mother...ffs she's 29 and acts like she's 45!!! They think that women should be "martyrs" and just sit around the house all day doing housework like there's no tomorrow! It's a shame my house is spotless without me doing housework 24/7! It's called being organized! Cows!


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## Just_married

I've never had clomid but tried soya 3 cycles and had nightmares every time. Generally I dreamt my dh cheated & I battered him toll he was bloody & cried & cried woke up with tears everywhere. Also dreamt of lover ones dying & another one was I was jailed for a murder I didn't commit.

I never knew they existed either till I put 2+2 together and started asking on here.


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## zanDark

eeeeeeeekkkkkk :wacko::wacko::wacko:

I see BFPs all over the place :wacko::wacko::wacko::wacko:


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## StephieB

Ah what an awful thing for mother and sister in law to do! Do they know about your struggles with TTC? My DH has a friend who only ever contacts him when he wants something and it drives me mad but he can't see it. I hope it didn't ruin your night too much. 

Just Married - Its awful, and what's quite interesting is that many of the woman who have reported nightmares during clomid etc...have always been about partners and babies and death or affairs. Like our extra hormones make our brains play out our worst nightmares. I haven't tried Soy but I'm quite interested to know more about it. How did you find it? With being unexplained I'm keen to move on to more natural solutions as im worried continued Clomid could cause more harm than good if cysts form etc... If the clomid fails and I think soy might be one I try.


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## NavyWife84

I don't get nightmares on Clomid (knock on wood) but I do get terrible hot flashes every half hour or so. I also have terrible mood swings.

I am so glad to hear that I am not the only one that HATES ovulation week. Well, you ladies might not hate it, but I do. It always seems that DH and I argue the most at this time. Then I don't want to bd, but I know we have to or I will be mad at myself. So, I fake not being mad at dh anymore, I guess he thinks it's make-up sex, and then I go to bed angry...after laying with my legs up for a half hour!:haha:

My vent:
Thank goodness today was the last day I had to work with my pregnant co-worker. (I'm a teacher and today was the kids' last day before summer break. We have to work all next week, but she decided one more week would just be too much for her!) I am so sick of watching her drink loads and loads of caffine, eat like shit, and complain about stupid stuff. I have given up all of that stuff just in hopes to get pregnant!!! She acts like she can't even walk now that she is pregnant. In fact, we had a parade and she refused to walk in it. And by parade, we literally walked around the corner from the front of the school to the back. It was a quarter mile at most!!! WTF?! Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean your legs are broken! To make matters worse, she talks about working out all the time. You can work out, but you can't walk around with the kids? Every other pregnant woman in the school is still able to carry on with normal activities. I guess this is to be expected, as this is the same woman that, during her first trimester said she "couldn't sit on the floor in her condition." :dohh: I really wanted to ask her if she was carrying the baby in her ass because I don't understand why being a few months pregnant would stop you from sitting on the floor!!! God, she is pathetic!!!


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## NavyWife84

Another vent: 
I'm going to my friend's son's first birthday party tomorrow...we started TTC at the same time :cry: I do have to give her credit though...she contacted me shortly after the invitations went out and told me that she understands if I didn't want to go because she knew it would be hard for me. I missed her birthday for that reason, and I feel bad if I keep avoiding her because she is such a good friend!

BTW...I forgot to tell you my name, it's Jenn. Sorry if I don't refer to you ladies by your first name, as I have a terrible memory and probably won't be able to remember it! :dohh:


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## zanDark

Steph: yeah of course they know! SIL has even offered me her "advice" on conceiving even tho she conceived both kids straight away :dohh: 

Navy: I completely understand how you're feeling. I started TTC before my SIL and her daughter is now 1.5 :cry: she's my goddaughter so I made her cake for her birthday because I wanted to keep my mind from wandering! It doesn't help that her birthday is a few days after mine so I was already really down since I had just turned 34! :cry:

Your friend sounds very considerate tho!! And that's an excellent thing considering that not many women care about our LTTTC struggles :hugs: she's definitely a keeper! :thumbup:


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## Doodlebug.

Hi girls, Can I join in? I'm new to this section, just came in for a wee read coz im feeling a bit lost in the world of ttc and there are new BFP's all over the forum and not one of them is mine!! :cry:


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## Zfbaby

My rant for the day is actually not ttc related its food related or rather the bad prep of food. I'd like to say thanks to the people at the restaurant last night who have given me an extremely rare Saturday off work. It's a shame I've had to spend it in the bathroom being sick all night. Thanks a bunch :( 

Navywife- I feel the same sometimes about o week. I feel stressed out about not getting the timing right and preempting my disappointment at another bfn. I can go from optimistic to pessimistic and back again so quickly it makes my head spin. 
When I'm in the ltttc forums I am blown away by the hope that those who have been going through this for so much longer than I have have. I've been doing this for 3 yrs and wonder how much longer I can hold it together. 

Also, you were saying about the girl that drinks loads of caffeine, I went to a staff party for my dh not long ago and had to sit next to a heavily pregnant girl who was drunk and chain smoking and crying about why her baby was under developed. Some people just don't realised how blessed they are.


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## StephieB

*ARGHHHH* :hissy: The clomid nightmare came back! Stupid stupid evil drug! 

Evie its funny how everyone seems to want to offer 'advice' in TTC, whether they've done it or not, I've only been out about our infertility for about a week now, and the 'advice' i've been given has been overwhelming :rolleyes:

Jenn I do actually HATE ovulation week with a passion. I dread it as soon as AF arrives, me and my DH don't usually argue too much, but ovulation week we usually end up screaming at each other because we're both so stress about timing etc and DH sometimes suffers from anxiety to the extent that we can't even BD, then I scream and cry at him and some of our biggest fights have been down to ovulation! I would rather have 5 years of TWW than one more ovulation week! :flower:

Your friend does sound really understanding, I wonder if she knows how rare these people are!

Zfvavy - hope your feeling better :hugs:

Its not all doom and gloom: 

We told DHs family about our infertility using our blog (as you know) but we didn't tell my Dad. My Mum and Dad had a terrible divorce and for various reasons I have had not spoken or seen my mother in about 6 years, so since then its just been me and my Dad. Maybe its because I'm a serious Daddys girl, but I just couldn't bring my self to tell him. 

Anyway this morning I had a sudden moment of madness, and walked into my Dads bedroom at 9am and just told him there and then. :shrug: I have never, in my 24 short years of existence seen my dad cry, but he cried and hugged me and just said "Life is just so unfair sweetheart", which then made me cry :blush: 

It's weird how we get one of two responses, either people give us support and cry with us, or they really just don't seem to get it. 

But either way, I would like to thank all of you ladies because I really think that belonging to this venting group has made me feel more supported in my journey which has made me much more confident in sharing it with others :kiss:

*TEAM LTTTC *


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## Lady H

zanDark said:


> eeeeeeeekkkkkk :wacko::wacko::wacko:
> 
> I see BFPs all over the place :wacko::wacko::wacko::wacko:

Came on here to vent on the same! Don't get me wrong, I am so happy as some of them are LTTTC but witch got me yesterday so guess I am not handling it so well right now.:nope:


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## StephieB

Damn AF and her witchy ways :growlmad: getting round to another CD1 is always the worst :hugs:

Vent away lady H :flower:


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## StephieB

Before I run off to do some work, I will leave you ladies with this. Made ma laugh and seemed apt...

https://static.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1338829190723_546154.png

:haha:


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## zanDark

Lady H said:


> zanDark said:
> 
> 
> eeeeeeeekkkkkk :wacko::wacko::wacko:
> 
> I see BFPs all over the place :wacko::wacko::wacko::wacko:
> 
> Came on here to vent on the same! Don't get me wrong, I am so happy as some of them are LTTTC but witch got me yesterday so guess I am not handling it so well right now.:nope:Click to expand...

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I'm waiting for AF to show up too...so I'm not in such an understanding place myself!!

Of course that doesn't mean that I wouldn't be ecstatic for my vent buddies to get their bfp! :flower::hugs:


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## BearsMummy

Damn it, no IVF party I'm afraid! My day wasn't too good in the end!

My Rant: I don't think I O'd this cycle. Its my first cycle not taking clomid.

I also had bad nightmares on clomid, kind of the same dreams you ladies had, it always seemed to be about B cheating or leaving. Weird stuff.
I also hallucinated on my last dose, which was really creepy.

I really wanted a relaxed few cycles until I heard from the PCT, but now this cycle is over and I'm 99% sure I didn't O, I am also thinking about giving Soy a whirl.


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## BearsMummy

I have a new one.

B is being an absolute arsehead today, I want to wring his bloody neck!!

The post came this morning, while I was still in bed. He decided to just put the post in a random place in the hallway and not tell me it had arrived.
He knows I am waiting for 2 important letters. CRB and PCT.

Off he goes out to the pub, I'm doing housework and come across the post, so i open it and one is my CRB letter, so I'm absolutely fuming that he didn't even mention the post had arrived and I find this when he's out at the fricking pub!!

So I ring him, screaming abuse down the phone at how inconsiderate he is, and then he pipes up with 'oh another letter arrived for you from the NHS, so i had a quick peek at it, incase it was THE letter, but it's not, its just a questionarre about your experience at A and E when you done for foot in'

WHAT THE HELL IS HE PLAYING AT????

When I thought the letter had arrived yesterday, I respected him enough to wait for him to come home from work so we open it together, but when I have a lay in, he just goes and opens it, with no respect for me. And then, didn't even bother to tell me when I did get up, just got his arse ready to go to the pub.

I told him to enjoy his time at the pub, because it will be his last.

I am FUMING!!!


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## StephieB

Karen I have nothing constructive to say but that would MAJORLY piss me off as well. What is it with men and just not thinking?!! 



> I told him to enjoy his time at the pub, because it will be his last

Mwahahahaha :rofl:


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## zanDark

:dohh: my MIL needs a damned brain transplant!!! 
ffs can't you just be a "friend" once in a while and just chat like a normal person? Not EVERY conversation has to be a "lesson" because "we're younger and need to learn from you"! Did you ever consider the fact that I don't exactly look up to you, and don't really feel the need to learn crap from you? Especially when your opinions tend to imply that you should have access to our house 24/7 like you do with SIL...because we're too young to know better. 

FFS woman we're not "playing house"! We're married and can and do live without you interfering! I'm sorry you don't like it...but tough shit! 

It's not my fault you've made your daughter soooo insecure that she needs your approval for everything! I'm not insecure and couldn't care less if you approve of me or not! 

Give it up already! The harder you try to convince me that you're an amazing woman...the more I think you're fake!! I've seen both sides of you...and I don't like either of them! 

:growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:


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## zanDark

Karen I'd be insanely furious too!! I wonder if their brain completely shuts off at times :dohh::haha:


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## sharnw

Stupid BFN today!! :sad2: witch will be here tomorrow 
On to another month of trying... Im really over it :cry: 2 and half years and still no bfp...!

When will us LTTC girls get our rainbows :dust:


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## zanDark

sharnw said:


> Stupid BFN today!! :sad2: witch will be here tomorrow
> On to another month of trying... Im really over it :cry: 2 and half years and still no bfp...!
> 
> When will us LTTC girls get our rainbows :dust:

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: hang in there hun! We'll get our BFPs!! It's just a matter of time :winkwink::hugs::kiss:


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## wonderstars

sharnw said:


> Stupid BFN today!! :sad2: witch will be here tomorrow
> On to another month of trying... Im really over it :cry: 2 and half years and still no bfp...!
> 
> When will us LTTC girls get our rainbows :dust:

:hugs: Some days it just sucks. Something that comes so easy to others becomes a massive hurdle for us.

:coolio: Wow to the LTTC bonding going on. It's nice to have a place where everyone *understands*.

*Question:* Is it LTTC or LTTTC? Hehe.

:blush: Little bit annoyed at your MIL zandark? Haha, gawd they can be idiots.

Minor rant today:

Spent the morning with an 8 month pregnant friend. THEN, went to a birthday party for my best friend's 2 year old. She's 6 months pregnant. Oh, and then another friend with her 5 month old stopped by.

Oh, and I had my friends' parents and grandparents (who only speak Chinese!!!!) ask me where my baby is.

M*therf*cker. 

I lived. There are no tears. I don't feel sad.

I don't know if that means I'm over it or if I'm numb to it all. :wacko:


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## uwa_amanda

Hi ladies...I'm back! :haha:

Feeling a lot better about everything now.

I finally got caught up with everyone's rants and had an epiphany. The entire time I was on clomid, I had the same freakin' nightmares! I never put two and two together. I thought I just had one hell of an overactive imagination. I told DH every time I had a bad dream about him cheating on me, asking for a divorce, or our baby coming out with missing limbs or whatever. He probably thought I was crazy or about to go off the deep end! :wacko: 

I just had hellacious headaches and horrible hot flashes. It really sucked in the summer time when it was 95-100 degrees outside and I felt like I was about to spontaneously combust! It was awful...especially during football season. My dad and I worked on the medical staff at the University of Alabama's home football games. It would be suffocatingly hot outside (really during the games in September when it's still in the 90's). I guess when you cram 115,000 people in a big bowl, it would get that way...very quickly! I can't wait until that rolls back around again! I have so much fun and forget about everything when I am there.

**I am the biggest American football nut out there...especially with college football. I will sit on the couch on Alabama away games and watch ESPN all day long on Saturdays! I confiscate the remote every Saturday morning and DH doesn't get it back until Sundays. :haha::haha:**


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## sharnw

Hehe WOOPS LTTTC :haha:


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## wannabemummyb

Sharn - i'm sorry hun. It never gets an easier. :hug:

Amanda - i'm pleased your back and feeling a little better.

Karen - i read your post about dh and the post to oh, it made us both laugh!

Steph - your post about your dad brought tears to my eyes! I am a complete daddys girl, he knows about the pcos and ir but have not discussed ltttc in detail with him


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## Zfbaby

Telling family can be such a hard decision when really as family it shouldn't be I guess. We haven't told any of my dhs family.I don't have any so that wasn't a decision we had to make. My dh didn't want to say anything because he knows his dad won't understand or feel comfortable knowing about it (ex military) plus his step mum had so many problems herself that's she can be very insensitive. she has that " I went through worse than you so get over it" attitude. We haven't told his mum either as he says he doesn't want her to worry and would rather give her good news. I just always feel like we're hiding things. 
Would you say it's important to tell or better not to?


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## Tasha

I know I dont belong here (I've been TTC for almost four years but had many loses in that time), so I am not sure if I am welcome or not but wanted to offer many :hugs: to you all.



sharnw said:


> Oh and facebook... I hate that baby gaga thing, just about nearly all my friends on facebook uses it, posting +hpt and ultrasounds and week by week photos of their growing belly..

My main reason for replying in here was because I have got to this post ^^^^ and wanted to say you can block this sort of thing. When it comes up in your news feed there is an x in the right hand corner, click on it and it asks you if you want to block the gaga app. I have done it, I cant stand that flipping baby gaga thing. Sometimes you/we/I need to protect ourselves and if that makes us bitches, so be it :hugs:


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## StephieB

> I know I dont belong here (I've been TTC for almost four years but had many loses in that time), so I am not sure if I am welcome or not but wanted to offer many to you all

:hugs: I think I can speak for us all here when I say that it doesn't matter if you are TTC your first, your second of your 6th, you've had to go through the struggles of anyone else LTTTC and can relate to what we're talking about, of corse you're welcome :flower: I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. You must be an incredibly brave woman. 

I agree with the baby gaga thing, I didn't realise you could block it until recently, and it was the best thing ever, no more stupid "My bump week 14" filling up my Facebook feed :winkwink:

Rant: 

2 day AF from hell, then poof, disappears quicker than it came! It was like my body decided it was bored of having 5-6 day periods, so instead, this month it put me through all the pain an hassle of a normal period, in 18 hours. Thanks. Just something else in my body that doesn't want to cooperate with me. Bugger you with massive stick uterus, you suck arse!!! :growlmad:


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## zanDark

Tasha you're always welcome here!!! :hug: As are all the wonderful ladies that pop in from time to time to offer hugs and advice :hugs:


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## wannabemummyb

Hiya Tasha, as Steph and Evie said, LTTTC is tough regardless if how many kids you have!

Steph - two day period from hell sounds crappy! Mine are normally 10 days long, although the one before last was a lot longer (21 days). Af sux.

What sux more is that its fathers day in the uk on the 17th (next sunday :( ) df with celebrate with his son (from previous marriage) so another slap in the face for me, as i still can't give him a kid.


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## uwa_amanda

wannabemummyb said:


> Hiya Tasha, as Steph and Evie said, LTTTC is tough regardless if how many kids you have!
> 
> Steph - two day period from hell sounds crappy! Mine are normally 10 days long, although the one before last was a lot longer (21 days). Af sux.
> 
> What sux more is that its fathers day in the uk on the 17th (next sunday :( ) df with celebrate with his son (from previous marriage) so another slap in the face for me, as i still can't give him a kid.

Father's Day in the US is also next Sunday. I was reminded of that by my DH last night.


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## zanDark

I was on my phone earlier so I couldn't type out a proper response...but the other ladies said it wonderfully! :thumbup:

LTTTC is heartbreaking regardless of how many children you have!! You can be LTTTC your 8th child and it's still difficult....to have losses as well as LTTTC makes it beyond heartbreaking :cry:

I have nothing but complete respect and admiration for the beautiful angel mummies that have suffered the worst kind of pain possible :hugs: 

Everyone is welcome to join us in the LTTTC section if they feel they can offer support and a warm hug when we're at our worst!! Everyone needs a hug from time to time :winkwink:


Now for my rant! 

Even tho I had a lovely day with my friends and OH, this preAF bloating is killing me :growlmad: not only is it uncomfortable and a reminder that I won't be missing the witch this month....it makes me feel so fat and ugly :cry: I'm not usually insecure...but PMS always has me at my lowest :cry::cry::cry::cry:


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## StephieB

Evie - I've seen your Facebook pictures. You have NOTHING to be insecure about, you are absolutely GORGEOUS!! :flower:

Actually, all of the ladies I've added on Facebook a down right beautiful! 

As for fathers day next weekend, my DH got me a mothers day card from the cats, so I think I'll get him a fathers day card from the cats and a bottle of wine, we can enjoy it together :thumbup:


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## Armywife84

Stephie- I smiled when I read your father giving you a hug! So incredibly heart warming! 

Karen- I don't know what is it and men with the pub. I know the beer is wonderful, but don't they get tired of the sausage fest? :haha:

Clomid nightmares sound absolutely horrid! :shock: I'll be glad when you ladies are done with your rounds or you get a sticky :bfp:. 

Welcome, Tasha! Pleased to have you join us. This is a VERY supporting thread, you've come to the right place. 

Rant: 

Just one small rant..one of our colleagues was talking to the pregnant cow and exclaimed rather loudly, "8 months and 2 days!". Erm, I thought I deleted my Bragbook. There's no need for vocal updates!! :growlmad::growlmad: On the other hand, at least she'll be done with the pregnancy and on leave so I don't have to be around her much longer.


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## Tasha

Thank you for the welcomes girls. I never feel like I fit any where, so it was nice to feel like I might be welcome some where :hugs:

Stephie - I am sorry for the crappy AF. Card and wine sounds like a good idea :hugs:

wannabe - that must be very hard :hugs:

Zan - thank you. If you are half as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside then I know you are gorgeous x

Army: :( I hope maternity leave isnt too far away for her.

My rant: There is an article 'trending' on fb, it is that Kate Middleton is pregnant, if this is true the whole country will be royal baby mad, and we will never escape it.


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## wonderstars

Tasha said:


> My rant: There is an article 'trending' on fb, it is that Kate Middleton is pregnant, if this is true the whole country will be royal baby mad, and we will never escape it.

I saw that too! Canada is also obsessed with William and Kate since their visit last year. Ugh, it's going to be everywhere. Son of a b*tch.

Army - I swear you have one new pregnant woman every month at work! I don't know how you do it! :huh:

StephieB - I love that idea of a card for Father's Day. Hope you don't mind if I steal it. :blush:

zandark - :hugs: This is sooo embarassing but when I'm PMSing and super bloated, I used to feel up my belly like it was a true bump, ay yi yi. Haven't done that in a while. Now I'm embarrassed, lol. Someone tell me they've done the same!

Rant\
Well, if I'm not getting preggo, I need to lose 6lbs by July 25th to be within my regular BMI range (just barely). I figure if I can do that, there's no way the FS can say anything. So far I have:

Cut down on caffeine (one cup a day)
Cut down on sugar (no Tim Horton's cookies anymore!)
Exercised regularly
Stopped hanging around my smokey friends inhaling 2nd hand smoke
Sleeping regularly.
Stopped drinking alcohol.

AND I'm still not pregnant! Isn't that what's supposed to do it? :growlmad:
/rant


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## sharnw

Tasha said:


> I know I dont belong here (I've been TTC for almost four years but had many loses in that time), so I am not sure if I am welcome or not but wanted to offer many :hugs: to you all.
> 
> 
> 
> sharnw said:
> 
> 
> Oh and facebook... I hate that baby gaga thing, just about nearly all my friends on facebook uses it, posting +hpt and ultrasounds and week by week photos of their growing belly..
> 
> My main reason for replying in here was because I have got to this post ^^^^ and wanted to say you can block this sort of thing. When it comes up in your news feed there is an x in the right hand corner, click on it and it asks you if you want to block the gaga app. I have done it, I cant stand that flipping baby gaga thing. Sometimes you/we/I need to protect ourselves and if that makes us bitches, so be it :hugs:Click to expand...

My "bff" has her c section tomorrow... But for some reason, since this pregnancy... I found that I cant see her status and baby gaga posts on facebook. I think she changed her privacy so that I cant see her posts pppffttt. 
I never showed any jealousy towards her, I always supported her and spoiled her 2 year old girl... Weird vibes much??


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## Tasha

Oh no wonderstars, so you will be in for that joy too :(

sharn, she is probably trying to protect you but it needs to be a choice you make rather than feeling like a leper :hugs:


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## sharnw

Tasha, Now that you mention- Yes in that way, I thank her for being generous to help me. I cant wait for her to have he baby, I will give her a few days before I see her an bub just to let her try settle... And not hover all over her like everyone else will...


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## Just_married

I have such mixed feelings about Kate Middleton possibly being pregnant. Dh & I married on same day as them and for some reason I know I'll be gutted it's not me, on the other hand, they were living together before marriage and I'm sure I read that they married so they could try for a family (not acceptable for family out of wedlock for royals eh wot?). So if that is the case then they are ltttc too! So I wouldn't grudge her that in that case.


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## Armywife84

The whole world is royal family mad, even in America. 

There's this trashy tabloid that has a picture of her dress hanging off her gaunt frame, and they're speculating it's a baby bump. :dohh:


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## smallstar

Moring ladies, my weekend started with me on a major downer :( just kept thinking about the whole IF issue and then literally EVERYTHING was making me angry....AT MYSELF!!!!
I felt that it was all my fault because i had smoked a cigarette on a night out two weeks ago, because I drank myself into oblivion on a Friday night after work, because I had a cup of coffee at my parents because they don&#8217;t have decaf, because i stopped taking clomid, because i have hot baths, because I FRICKING BREATH!!!! :( 
I felt awful literally until Sunday afternoon, when my other half walks telling me how he had bumped into our friends cousin after work yesterday and they said we should come see them and their new baby, oh and bring my friend along (the cousin) and the husband and they have just found out they are pregnant!!!

REALLY!!?!? that would literally be like the day out from HELL!!!! :( 
I got so mad at him for being so flippant and insensitive!!! And argued about how he clearly had forgotten how bad things were and how much i was struggling at the minute!

Don&#8217;t know what&#8217;s wrong with me of late but im starting to feel really down about things :(

To top it all off, probably the whole weekend has played on my mind i dreamt last night that my sister was pregnant!!! Felt sick when i woke up this morning just thinking about it!!!

Weekend = :(


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## zanDark

Wonderstars: I do that too :blush::blush: but I have some extra chub at all times whether I'm bloated or not :haha: so I often stick my chub out more to see what I'd look like pregnant! 

Smallstar :hugs:

Whenever these nasty thoughts pop in your head think of all the people that get pregnant while abusing various substances! It's NOT your fault hun :hugs: and you have nothing to feel bad about! 

I was like this too and gave up EVERYTHING for my IUIs and TTC! But after a while (a loooong while :haha:) I figured that there was no point in making myself miserable by denying myself my few guilty pleasures...especially when ALL of my friends getting pregnant are smokers, coffee and alcohol drinkers etc! 

I took up smoking again :blush: (I know I know!) and drinking my yummy coffee! Don't go overboard...just let yourself ENJOY a few of the things you like here and there and don't feel guilty about it!! Your little bean will show up soon either way :winkwink:

and to all the ladies that are about to be "attacked" by the royal pregnancy: This is why I never watch TV anymore other than series and movies :haha: I get all my info from reading news online and refuse to watch anything news related on TV to avoid pregnant celebrities! I see enough pregnant people around me as it is! :haha:


My semi rant: AF you bitch I'm not going to let you take me down :growlmad: I'm in soooo much pain as always but I managed to get up, swiffer the house to within an inch of it's life :haha: hoover and mop twice, cook...and now I'm all achey and proud of myself for not turning into the blubbering crying version of me like I do every month :bodyb: AND I'm going to spend all day tomorrow with my girlfriends drinking starbucks and going out for yummy seafood by the beach! so HA!

*collapses* :haha:


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## zanDark

wow I use so many smilies my posts look like tiny villages :haha::blush:


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## BearsMummy

Depression hit me hard again last night and I just can't seem to snap out of it.

I don't even know what triggered it.

Even baking cakes today has not lifted my mood and that normally does it.

I think I used all my positivity last week and now its gone and hidden somewhere.


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## smallstar

Awww Evie i know i know!!! I did at the start of TTC literally give up EVERYTHING too, and then convinced myself that THAT was the reason i wasn&#8217;t getting pregnant because id thrown my body into a frenzy, so just before Christmas last year (after last round of clomid!) i thought to hell with it, and i stated to ENJOY life....my WHOLE life was consumed with TTC and i had denied myself all the things i liked and events we had been invited too just in case i was pregnant (NEVER happened!) 

I have got a lot better but i do have bad days where i reflect and beat myself up for it....im sure tomorrow ill be fine!!! :)

I am seriously dreading the "royal pregnancy" frenzy which is going to be plastered EVERYWHERE!!! boo :( 

P.S I am so jealous of your seafood by the beach!!!! Sounds perfect :) Enjoy and use it as a full on up yours to the AF witch mwhhhhaaa haaa haaa!!!!

x


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## smallstar

BearsMummy said:


> Depression hit me hard again last night and I just can't seem to snap out of it.
> 
> I don't even know what triggered it.
> 
> Even baking cakes today has not lifted my mood and that normally does it.
> 
> I think I used all my positivity last week and now its gone and hidden somewhere.

Karen i completely know what you mean....sucks :( 

Think we need to put out a missing emotion call...POSITIVITY WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!?????

x


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## StephieB

It seems we've all gone through the cycle of living like complete angels for a good couple of months, and then realising that lifes just too short! :haha:

I used to be SO good when I first started TTC, no alcohol unless AF was here, no fatty foods, plenty of sleep, no coffee, no adventurous sex after ovulation just incase it dislodged an egg (I'm genuinely serious my DH worried about this) blah blah blah...I turned into such a bitch! I was miserable, almost as miserable as when I was on my strict weight watchers diet, everything I had as a vice I took away from myself and it made me even more depressed! Last summer me and DH decided that enough people got pregnant while drunk, on drugs, smoking, drinking etc... that life was too shot, so we stocked the fridge up with alcohol again, ate take aways, drank coffee and it was that month we got our first BFP!! So since then I've been a coffee drinking, take away eating monster who occasionally has a crafty cigarette and I aint changing anytime soon! 

Ah Karen and smallstar (Im really sorry, I can't scroll back enough to find your name and I don't want to get it wrong :blush:) :hugs::hugs: sending lots of positivity your way. This poem really made me smile when the depression of LTTTC gets me down, I hope it gives you all something too 

*There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know I will be better

I will be better not because of genetics or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and I prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child . I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover, I will marvel at this miracle everyday for the rest of my life

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, a friend and a sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tired by the fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall*

:flower::kiss:


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## StephieB

Also, as for the 'royal baby'. It could just be ANOTHER rumour :shrug: if that woman had a big meal she'd develop a bump!! 

On the plus side, another public holiday when she pops one out :thumbup:


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## smallstar

Thanks Steph :) 

The underlying message in this poem is very comforting.....:hugs:

I just wish that the good luck fairy that keeps visiting EVERYONE else in the WORLD would come and grace me with her presence....just for a an ickle bit please :flower:

Cant honestly remember the last time i heard or had some good news.... :(

Jena ;)
x


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## zanDark

Karen: those down days really suck :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Steph what a lovely poem! :thumbup: thank you for sharing! :hugs:


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## StephieB

> I just wish that the good luck fairy that keeps visiting EVERYONE else in the WORLD would come and grace me with her presence....just for a an ickle bit please

Jena!! I knew I knew your name, I do apologise! I think its because I've moved house 3 times in the past 12 months that she can't find me :shrug: I promise if I do bump into her, or by some miracle she decides to pop by to visit, I'll send her on her way over to all of you, with a GPS system! :thumbup:


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## BearsMummy

Aww, my new tweetie must know I'm feeling down, he is singing me a lovely song!!

Here's a pic of the new addition to my family.....

Everyone, meet Tony!
 



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## uwa_amanda

BearsMummy said:


> Aww, my new tweetie must know I'm feeling down, he is singing me a lovely song!!
> 
> Here's a pic of the new addition to my family.....
> 
> Everyone, meet Tony!

Pretty bird Karen! Hopefully his song made you feel better! :)


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## StephieB

Aaaah gorgoeus birdy (and wallpaper..) my cats would LOVE him :haha:


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## Armywife84

Karen- What a handsome little fellow! He can sing??!! Fantastic! Does he talk as well? 

Evie- I want to relax in Greece on a beach!! :brat: 

Smallstar, Stephie- I agree with bringing your vices back. They tend to get you through rough times. There's been times when I've wanted a ciggy but have yet to indulge (I haven't smoked since 2008) :dohh:. 

RANT (not baby related):

I'm browsing online shopping sites (US and UK) and I notice that trend is to wear your top 2 sizes too big. ](*,) I'm slim, but one would need a body to resemble a clothes hanger (mannequin, really) to pull that look off. It's becoming a challenge to find summer clothing that flatters my hourglass figure. I don't wish to disguise it! :grr:


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## Doodlebug.

Stephie that poem is lovely, it brought a tear to my eye :hugs:


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## StephieB

Army - Being 5 foot nothing and being a little chunky currently (thanks to bringing back my vices and becoming "relaxed" in my married bliss :haha:) I find it extremely difficult to find summer clothes that I feel comfortable in!! I definitely find online shopping to be a nightmare (Although I spend hours trawling ASOS!)

I can't wear maxi dresses, as I'm too short I trip over them and look a tit. I can't wear the tops that seem to be all the rage that barely cover your tummy as I hate having it out, I can't wear skirts very often as my legs are too short they always end up a stupid length, those baggy t shirts your talking about look like I've just borrowed something of my dads! To top to all off, my boobs are too big to buy matching bikini sets to I usually end up with odd tops and bottoms :shrug:

I think I'm going to become a nudist just to make it easier in life! :haha:


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## Lady H

StephieB said:


> Also, as for the 'royal baby'. It could just be ANOTHER rumour :shrug: if that woman had a big meal she'd develop a bump!!
> 
> On the plus side, another public holiday when she pops one out :thumbup:

Hell if she ate a peanut she would have a bump! :haha:


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## zanDark

Army and Steph I have a tough time with summer clothes too! 

I love maxi dresses and I have the height for them...but get this...since I have a bit of chub around my mid section they tend to make me look pregnant :dohh::dohh: how's that for ironic :haha::haha::haha:

so I stick to flowy shirts or tshirts and my beloved skinny jeans tyvm! :haha:


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## StephieB

Jeans and t-shirt are the way forward! :thumbup:

Ladies I am excited!! Dh came home from work today and said "we need to talk..." So I obviously panicked, but when we started talking he said he was really worried about ovulation week and letting us down (he sometimes gets really bad anxiety which prevents us from Bding, and we've lost a few months due to it) especially during Clomid cycles. So we discussed our issues and maybe having a break or stopping the clomid but he said the problem would still be there when we came back to it anyway.

So we did some researching and we've decided that for this cycle we'll try home insemination to see how we get on with that, he says he would feel less pressure this way so we've just bought some soft cups, pressed and sterile syringes. :happydance: I don't know why I'm so excited about such an unromantic way of TTC but I feel a little less 'pressure' too. 

Has anyone else ever tried home insemination, or know people who have and have any hints and tips??


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## sharnw

Stephie Thank you for that poem :hugs:
That was lovey and also made me teary and smile :) xox


My vant, ahhhhhh facebook, babys born every day this last week...... 
*Congrats...
*Well done...
*I bet he/ she is beautiful...
*Cant wait to see pics of him/her...
*Hope all went well...
*Cant wait to meet your little bundle of joy...
*Welcome to mother hood...
*Its the best feeling in the world, to look into your babies eyes...

Im very happy for my friends. They are so lucky to be blessed...
To have their baby in their arms.
A loved one of their own.

And me?? All I get today is the regular arrival of the :witch: geeess Louise....


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## sharnw

StephieB said:


> :
> Has anyone else ever tried home insemination, or know people who have and have any hints and tips??

I actually thought of doing this last cycle actually?! I bet I will 1 day :)
I searched on the net and seen other ladies asked this question and read that she got bad hurtful feed back from others :(

I say- why not??


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## zanDark

oooooo Steph!! Tom and I were thinking the same thing since we've encountered the same problem! He's never had a problem when he has to be intimate with a cup for IUI or SA :haha: but during ovulation we both get stressed out and it's either him not being able to function...or me drying up :blush: sorry for the TMI lol 

we were going to try it last cycle but we got our puppy and I just wasn't in the mood to deal with TTC at the time! We're probably going to give it a go this cycle just to take a break from the anxiety. :thumbup:


sharnw: I just commented on the pic of an excoworker who just had her 2nd baby...she always went on and on and on about how she didn't want kids! Plus I had to hide a girl I know from FB because she's 21 and got pregnant on her honeymoon :dohh: honeymoon babies really get to me lol


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## Just_married

StephieB said:


> So we did some researching and we've decided that for this cycle we'll try home insemination to see how we get on with that, he says he would feel less pressure this way so we've just bought some soft cups, pressed and sterile syringes. :happydance: I don't know why I'm so excited about such an unromantic way of TTC but I feel a little less 'pressure' too.
> 
> Has anyone else ever tried home insemination, or know people who have and have any hints and tips??




StephieB said:


> Jeans and t-shirt are the way forward! :thumbup:
> 
> Ladies I am excited!! Dh came home from work today and said "we need to talk..." So I obviously panicked, but when we started talking he said he was really worried about ovulation week and letting us down (he sometimes gets really bad anxiety which prevents us from Bding, and we've lost a few months due to it) especially during Clomid cycles. So we discussed our issues and maybe having a break or stopping the clomid but he said the problem would still be there when we came back to it anyway.
> 
> So we did some researching and we've decided that for this cycle we'll try home insemination to see how we get on with that, he says he would feel less pressure this way so we've just bought some soft cups, pressed and sterile syringes. :happydance: I don't know why I'm so excited about such an unromantic way of TTC but I feel a little less 'pressure' too.
> 
> Has anyone else ever tried home insemination, or know people who have and have any hints and tips??

Such a long time ago: when I was 20 my then bf & I lost a baby at 13wks & a month after the loss I needed an emergency d&c to remove retained placenta remains (I haemorrhaged very badly). When we tried again the memories of what had happened made it difficult for us both so we ended up trying using syringes & jugs & timing etc. If I remember right we tried for two or three cycles & it didn't work. More recently I've read about some others doing it because it suits them better, but with more science to it, e.g. Warming tubs/syringes to best temperature before collecting etc.
Best of luck! We are all trying different things and who knows, maybe this will be the right thing for you :)


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## sharnw

zanDark Ha! Me too lol.....

Sometime i feel like getting a few bottles of bourbon and a few cokes and go on a freaking bender for a week :haha: I'l try everything and :drunk: :sex: is definitely on the cards :haha: 
I think I would've done that already if I didnt have to work everyday :( I'l never go to work hung over again (remembering 6 years ago after a football game) :haha:


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## Tasha

Steph, is it the length of maxi fresses or just that you find them difficult to walk in? Next do lots of petite maxi dresses online.

My rant - edited cos it was stupid


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## wonderstars

StephieB said:


> Has anyone else ever tried home insemination, or know people who have and have any hints and tips??

Stephie - There's a long thread on home insemination (withe donor sperm) in the Assisted Conception forum. I haven't gone through it but I bet you there's some great advice in there.

After so many months of timing sex, I'm actually quite relieved we're done that route. It's either IUI or IVF now. DH is relieved. He would feel so bad coming home late and having to do the deed. 

2 newly pregnant patients today and I don't even work in OB or anything related. The whole f'n world is pregnant. :dohh:


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## StephieB

Tasha no rant is stupid!! For instance right now I could rant that I am upstairs in bed and my wine is downstairs in the kitchen!! 

I've never tried next maxi dresses, but I do buy the next petit work wear so i'll look when I'm next in! Thanks for the tip :) 

Evie I demand you try home insemination this month so I have someone to compare notes with :haha: DH and I always get anxious and stressed during ovulation week, and we have the exact same problems! As soon as I realise he's not 'prepared' I just completely dry up and we end up fighting every month! So this month we're going to try being intimate with a softcup and just popping it up there to get rid of the pressure, hopefully that means we can bd leading up to OV and then 'inseminate' around ov if we need to. Fingers crossed! 

Just_married - so sorry to hear what you went through. Huge hugs. Thanks for your well wishes, I think I'm excited to just try something new!


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## Tasha

:rofl: that would be a valid rant though Steph. Mine was that I wanted to punch the smug smiley face on the CB opk, because I am CD30/31 and ovulating now, so it looked like he (yes it is a male smiley face) was being smug and say ha late ovulation again. 

Then I gave myself a slap around the face, and realised late ovulation is better than no ovulation.


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## StephieB

Oh brilliant, ill have to browse the assisted conception forum and see if I can get some hints and tips. Ill do anything to skip an Ov week! :haha:

Sharnw - A few months ago me and DH decides to have a night out on a Sunday! Of all nights! We drank more than I had since my university days and then a bottle of gin on top!! I had to get up at 6am to teach psychology to 120 eager 16-18years old. Worst day of my life! I'm ashamed to say I even had to throw up in the classroom bin in the cupboard while the students were busy. Never again!!!


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## StephieB

Late ovulation is definitely rant worthy!! What does it think its playing at?! I hate the smug smiley face guy!! He always looks so bloody happy, even when he decides to show up at the most inconvenient times! Dick!


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## Tasha

StephieB said:


> Late ovulation is definitely rant worthy!! What does it think its playing at?! I hate the smug smiley face guy!! He always looks so bloody happy, even when he decides to show up at the most inconvenient times! Dick!

:rofl: this made me giggle. This cycle is CD30/31, the previous two were CD36 but that I ovulated but I have had 90 day cycles. Frustrating as hell, but you're right he is a dick. :haha:

No rant for you? :nope::haha:


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## StephieB

Argh! Oh no shitty cycles! But like you said, silver lining is atleast your ovulating, have you been given any indication of why your ovaries want to piss you off?

Erm... Rant for me? Well my Dad returned from France whis week with 2 beautiful bottles of wine for me, one of which I've drank tonight so now im wide awake, its 1am here and DH is snoring next to me while I'm watching crap on TV. When my alarm goes off at 6.30am ill want to punch myself in the nose!!


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## Tasha

Nope. I am pushing for PCOS testing though. 

Wine sounds great, not being able to sleep not so much. I cant sleep either. Not good at that any more.


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## NavyWife84

On the kindle and it is dying so I cant write much...will respond to you lovely ladies tomorrow.
My rants:
1. Dryer is broken.
2. Car is broken down. (No mini vaca with the hubbs this summer because our money is going into the car and dryer)
3. Another fb baby announcement...her 2nd in the time I have been tryiñg for 1.
4. Grandma; who has been fighting for her life for a year really isnt doing well :(

And its only Monday...


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## Just_married

Well after a crappy few weeks (hospital with af, teenage cousin pregnant, friend died, put on 2 rounds of antibiotics, missed hsg due to dates & intrauterine infection, nightmare non-bridesmaid hen night, discovered dd is ill, friend fell out with me & accused me of using him & finally last night dh turned into neurotic weirdo for an hour, cue argument).....well after all that crap something randomly wonderful may be happening. Our landlord had been talking about buying a bigger flat to rent to us in case I get pregnant....so I phoned him last night and said if your buying anything, buy a house as another flat is no good. His reply was amazing, he (not promising anything) is planning to live in an American southern state for 6 winter months to see if it helps his asthma/arthritis and is planning to buy himself a 'bolthole' in the uk for when he is here, so would I hypothetically be interested in renting his 3 bedroomed semi in one of the best areas of the town we live in and still close to my family. Wow!! Please be true! Not only that, I chatted with dh about using the spare room we will have to carry out self employed working from home. Not only that! But I said if I don't fall pregnant when we move there would you be open to me using the room for short term baby/toddler fostering (something I've always waited to do). And he didn't say no (he has always point blank refused) he said he would think about it!

I didnt think I'd be this happy about things without actually being pregnant. Please make it be true!


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## beegray

So this month we completely missed O. We have been hectically busy over the last few weeks and well bding was pretty much at the bottom of our list. Then to throw insult to injury I got hectically sick with Flu, couldn't even get out of bed, my metformin ran out and have not been able to get the the pharmacist to get a refill!!!!!!! Waiting for af to arrive tomorrow. Considered testing but don't think I'm even going to bother. I KNOW that it didn't happen this month!!!! It's like one complete big waste of a month and I have to wait next month to get clomid because my medical won't pay out for it because I have been sick and we didn't budget for it. :cry: On top of that the flu still won't go away! Constantly sick with a runny nose, and a cough, tired beyond belief and now it seems like i might have a bladder infection!!!!!!!!!:hissy: ok tantrum over!


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## smallstar

Awww beegray...bug hugs your way :hugs:

I know its easier said than done (I am the worst person for never taking my own advice!!) BUT try not to beat yourself up about things for this month!!! 
The amount of times i have know within a day or two that we have missed O and we havent even BD once is countless!!!!

Its an awful feeling, but its not your fault, as well as trying for a baby life gets in the way!!! Work, cooking, cleaning, visiting people, illness, tiredness, literally ANYTHING!!!

Plus like some of the other girlies have mentioned on here....the pressure to DO IT at a specific time on a specific day is really hard and when you do miss it you feel like the biggest failure ever!!! I know Ive been there on more occasions than care to remember.

Steph - Agree about the OH not feeling in good spirits around OV week as he freaks out and feels more pressure to erm perform!! Id be interested to know how the whole home kit works out for you :blush: Im willing to try anything once for during this whole baby making process!!!

x


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## StephieB

just_married - The house sounds great! I love when random acts of kindness come our way! The toddler/baby fostering sounds amazing, with TTC we've looked more into fostering, but going to be a few years yet as we don't have the space. Fingers crossed you've got some good news coming your way :thumbup:

Bee - I think we all understand how frustrating and crappy missing O is, but like Jena said life just happens and we can't beat ourselves up about it! This is what I get so annoyed about with people who 'accidentally get pregnant' do they understand just how much precision and timing had to go into their 'accident'!! 

In the past 8 months we've only been able to BD properly around Ov for maybe three of those! Believe it or not we missing OV one month because of our own wedding! By the time we'd got back to the hotel, the last thing I wanted to do was Bd :haha: I have a cycle app on my phone and as soon as I put 'AF Finished' in there I look to see when it predicts ovulation, if it isn't on a weekend, I immediately hate that month! :dohh:

Jena - I have just taken my last clomid of the month (CD6) so if my body sticks to its usual time scale ovulation is scheduled for next friday/saturday/sunday (weekend Ov :happydance:) so I'll let you know how it goes! 

Rant non baby related: 

Me and Dh are currently living with my lovely dad while we sort out our new house to move into on Saturday happydance:) so I have my two cats here with me. My cats are house cats, as they are both rescue cats who had no experience of being outside, and frankly are just too stupid! This morning Colin the stupid ginger cat escaped!! Ran out of the back door and into a neighbours garden where I couldn't get him. Cue me and my dad then running between three gardens trying to catch him with ham and chicken for a total of 50 minutes!! I need to point out I had just gotten out of bed and was in my pyjamas with no make up/bra or shoes on and live on quite a main road so open for all the village to see. :blush: Surely a baby would be easier?!


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## smallstar

Well i am "suppossed" to be ovulating this weekened....luckily its OH birthday so might give him a little birthday treat :blush: 
Downside is that we are busy all weeked and know that we will both be exhausted and probably not squeeze in any :sex: :dohh:

I am off for blood test next week (Friday) to determine if i am now ovulating on my own....Im really not getting my hopes up :( In fact i just know in my heart of herats that i dont ovulate on my own and if in the unlikely event that i do i have no idea when it happens.... :( No amount of charting and ov testing helped as my charts were so erratic and it got too stressful.


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## uwa_amanda

My rant for this early Tuesday morning at 5:30 am:

1. It's not Friday.

The end. :haha:


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## beegray

Lol StephieB!!!!! Cats can be such a blessing during TTC i won't lie, I have two myself! Gizmo my older boy who at the moment is battling with his eyes. We have to put drops in them every three to four hours!!!!!! And my little black beauty Zammy! She's now taken to waiting at the top of the driveway for me when i get home!!!!! So cute!!!!! Yay for moving into your new place on Saturday!!!! Hope all goes well with the move. :thumbup:

I won't lie, so far I think we might have missed about three cycles over the years:blush: and they were mainly ones that i wasn't really ovulating, DH and I are actually quite active:blush:. This cycle I was very hopeful, the metformin has been working beautifully and was ovulating right on time and everything, it was the perfect cycle. :dohh: well i guess next cycle will be my first clomid cycle!!!!!:happydance: super excited!!!!


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## BearsMummy

Ooooh, I just realised why I'm being emotional, AF is due tomorrow.

Army - He can't talk yet, but I'm trying to teach him to say Charlie! He's not getting it yet! But he is fab, if you go up to his cage and make kissing noises, he blows kisses back! And he will screech at Burberry (the cat) until she comes over and then he will tweet tweet tweet very softly, like hes telling her something really important! He is such a character!

Steph - OH and I have tried AI before due to anxiety/performance problems. It's true, men have no problems being intimate with a cup! I can't say I got a bfp out of it, but it made the cycle a hell of a lot stressful, knowing we had done something rather than nothing.

Navy - I hope your week improves, :hugs:

I got a copy of my CRB, and its not great, its shows driving offences I have from a stupid time in my life a few years back, and I didn't declare them on my job application as they are 'spent' convictions. Now I look like a lying bitch who was trying to keep something from them.


----------



## StephieB

My soft cups will be arriving tomorrow and I'm excited to practise, god TTC turns me into such a weirdo! :shrug:

I also have to admit that even though we've been TTC for over 2.5years now, I've never tracked my temp, I tried but I was SO bad at it, so I decided to give it a go this cycle and have set an alarm on my phone for 5.30am every morning so I can do my temp...now I've got to get used to the fertility friend charting thing! :nope:

Karen what job is the CRB for? I shouldn't imagine driving offences will cause too much of a problem unless it's for a driving based job. With teaching we have to have a new CRB done every 6 months, and although I don't have any, I know plenty of colleagues that have driving conviction on their CRBs that don't affect them. :shrug:


----------



## BearsMummy

Its for Ward Clerk at the Childrens Ward.

All the ISA Childrens/Vunerable adults barred section has come up fine (obviously) but it's still worrying me that it looks like I was trying to withold information.


----------



## BearsMummy

Also, I have had this letter for a couple of days, I have emailed HR at the hospital to say I have received it and what is the next step, but I haven't heard anything back from them.

This is so frustrating!


----------



## StephieB

Just play dumb and apologise and say you didn't realise spent driving offences would be place onto a CRB :shrug: I'm sure it'll be fine, you're obviously suited to the job and they know your not 'dangerous' :thumbup: I bloody hate CRBs, they take ages to fill out, ages to come through, and then are nothing but trouble when they do get to you!!


----------



## BearsMummy

Thats what I was planning on saying.

I put in my CRB application on 29th March and it was only completed on 7th June!

Everyone who I have spoken to who has had a full disclosure done has said it caused them nothing but problems!


----------



## BearsMummy

And still nothing from the PCT.

I'm really starting to lose any hope I had.


----------



## StephieB

:hugs::hugs: Do you have any details where you can chase it up if you need to? Its not over until the fat PCT lady sings my lovely! :flower:


----------



## BearsMummy

I suppose I could ring the Fertility nurse at the local hospital I was under before being referred to this new clinic.

But how long do I leave it?


----------



## StephieB

'Id give them a call as soon as you can, but i'm just impatient! Haven't they reached the deadline of when they should let you know yet? They can't get annoyed at you for just inquiring about something, and they might be able to let you know that there was a delay etc....:flower:


----------



## BearsMummy

The deadline is up on Thursday.

Maybe leave it until next week? I don't want to seem like a nag!!


----------



## StephieB

Oh Karen I wish I had your patience! Would definitely ring them from Monday if you haven't heard by then :flower:


----------



## BearsMummy

I probably will.

I'm just not feeling optimistic at all now.

And people are getting on my tits (see my facebook)


----------



## StephieB

Nothing pleases me more than a good facebook rant! :thumbup: hope they feel ashamed of themselves for being such leeches. 

You said yourself that the doctor doesn't see why you wouldn't get the funding, its just the timing that they're taking the piss with! :growlmad:


----------



## wonderstars

Clomid is so tricky! No spotting this cycle and nearing AF date. I normally spot for a week straight and this time only slight spotting 3 days ago. Clomid can kiss my ass. So done with it. I wish AF would just come (not even thinking about implantation bleeding, I've been down that dreary road).

At work but I had to put this somewhere! 

You ladies are machines, I can't keep up with the thread, lol!


----------



## shiara

i have been following this thread a lot, and find it very supporting and uplifting as well...thnxx ladies...
its my 1st round of clomid and its making me soo emotional...having meaningless arguments with dh :growlmad:
My Rant.... younger sister just got married 2 months ago, just announced her good newzz...and here i am trying for 3 yrs and zilch!:nope:


----------



## Just_married

Acci-flippin-dently unsubscribed from the best thread on bnb AGAIN! Darn silly phone!!!


----------



## uwa_amanda

Just_married said:


> Acci-flippin-debtor unsubscribed from the best thread on bnb AGAIN! Darn silly phone!!!

Shame on you! :haha:

My day has been ok...just listening to my coworker talk about her son did this and her son did that...I dream about that boy's name in my sleep! Quite tired of hearing all about it. :wacko:


----------



## Armywife84

Just Married- Isn't this like the third time? :haha: So sorry to hear about your friend passing and the other poorly one. :cry:

Karen- He sounds so charming! I'm surprised Burberry doesn't lick her lips at him. :haha: If I wasn't so allergic, I would certainly own a bird! 

My mother's colleague has 2 birds (some sort of talking ones), and every time she tries to bathe them they screech, "You bitch!". :rofl::rofl: I suppose language they've picked up from telephone conversations. Birds are incredibly intelligent. 

Stephie- Summer clothing is hardly fashionable these days. I just can't pull of that hippy, unkept look. I'll pass. :haha: 

Shiara- :hugs: 

Rant:

1. Pregnant cow decided to play a prank on everyone and announced that her water broke. We were all freaking out until she started laughing and exclaimed it was a joke. :growlmad::growlmad: That's NOT something you joke about. 

2. She kept rubbing her belly, as if a genie was going to pop out of her vagina and grant her a wish. :haha:

3. Fall needs to get here so I can cut down on work and go back to uni. 

BTW, I'm Jackie. :flower:


----------



## NavyWife84

beegray said:


> Lol StephieB!!!!! Cats can be such a blessing during TTC i won't lie, I have two myself! Gizmo my older boy who at the moment is battling with his eyes. We have to put drops in them every three to four hours!!!!!! And my little black beauty Zammy! She's now taken to waiting at the top of the driveway for me when i get home!!!!! So cute!!!!! Yay for moving into your new place on Saturday!!!! Hope all goes well with the move. :thumbup:
> 
> I won't lie, so far I think we might have missed about three cycles over the years:blush: and they were mainly ones that i wasn't really ovulating, DH and I are actually quite active:blush:. This cycle I was very hopeful, the metformin has been working beautifully and was ovulating right on time and everything, it was the perfect cycle. :dohh: well i guess next cycle will be my first clomid cycle!!!!!:happydance: super excited!!!!

I love my pets...they really help me through this ltttc crap. My dogs (who are each 70ish pounds, play with one of my cats, who thinks he is a dog! It is hilarious to watch, espcecially since the cat is only like 10 pounds! He holds his own though! Both of my cats are indoor cats. We live in the woods and I am too afraid that the spoiled things wouldn't be able to hold their own to the animals they might encounter outside! :haha:

I wish I could say that DH and I are "quite active"! Most days I feel like a leper because he doesn't even want to look at me. He isn't even into when I put on lingire! He says it is a waste. Foreplay is definitely not in his vocabulary either:growlmad: When we were first dating/married, he used to be much more active. I think ltttc has killed that :cry: I can't remember the last time he instigated bd. It is always me, ttc -related or not! Sooo frustrating!!!:growlmad:


----------



## NavyWife84

Armywife84 said:


> Just Married- Isn't this like the third time? :haha: So sorry to hear about your friend passing and the other poorly one. :cry:
> 
> Karen- He sounds so charming! I'm surprised Burberry doesn't lick her lips at him. :haha: If I wasn't so allergic, I would certainly own a bird!
> 
> My mother's colleague has 2 birds (some sort of talking ones), and every time she tries to bathe them they screech, "You bitch!". :rofl::rofl: I suppose language they've picked up from telephone conversations. Birds are incredibly intelligent.
> 
> Stephie- Summer clothing is hardly fashionable these days. I just can't pull of that hippy, unkept look. I'll pass. :haha:
> 
> Shiara- :hugs:
> 
> Rant:
> 
> 1. Pregnant cow decided to play a prank on everyone and announced that her water broke. We were all freaking out until she started laughing and exclaimed it was a joke. :growlmad::growlmad: That's NOT something you joke about.
> 
> 2. She kept rubbing her belly as if a genie was going to pop out of her vagina and grant her a wish. :haha:
> 
> 3. Fall needs to get here so I can cut down on work and go back to uni.
> 
> BTW, I'm Jackie. :flower:

Nice to finally know your name:haha:

What a b-word for pretending her water broke. How stupid, immature, and no concern for anyone around her!!!:growlmad: I would not have been able to hold my tongue about how much of an ignorant cow she is!!! Makes me mad just thinking about it!!!

The woman I work(ed) with...last Friday was her last day...just emailed all of us (the coworkers) saying that she will miss us, and this is how to keep in contact, and she will be showing pics when the baby is born, etc. I felt like replying, you "unfriended" me on fb when your best friend, a coworker I wasn't getting along with at the time was being a b-word, which I was glad about. I don't want to see your stupid baby updates because it was hard enough working with you. You constantly pissed me off about your griping and your helplessness. You are pregnant, not dieing!!! Please never contact me again! :growlmad: Wow! That felt good to get out.


----------



## sharnw

Vant:
I had to drive 30 minutes to the next town that has a medical refund office.
I wanted to get cash back from all the fertility meds and appointments ultrasounds etc. Thought the money would come in handy.. Anyway I get there and realise I forgot my purse with my ID and medicare card.. :growlmad:

I didnt bother turning aounnd wasting diesel :growlmad:

(Positive note)
I ended up visiting my friend in hospital instead, that had her baby boy yesterday. He was sound asleep naaawwww, 
I felt ok :)
Her 2 year old daughter was there so I held her instead to keep ttc emotions off my mind..


Vant: 
Why do I feel that I have to "buy" my baby..??..... :sad2:
Thinking of doing IVF in a few months $$ :nope: 

But it will be all so well worth it in the end :dust:


xxxooo


----------



## StephieB

Sharn - :hugs: why is it that we always leave the most important thing at home when we need it?? I am so embarrassed to say in the past month I have gone to the supermarket, done a whole weeks worth of shopping, only to bag it all up at the til and realise that DH has my bank card :blush: then I have to skulk out of the shop making excuses and am always to embarrassed to go back and pay for it all :haha:



> I ended up visiting my friend in hospital instead, that had her baby boy yesterday. He was sound asleep naaawwww,
> I felt ok
> Her 2 year old daughter was there so I held her instead to keep ttc emotions off my mind..

:thumbup: Thats a really good place to be in, I admire you and envy you all at the same time. Lately a best friend has been dropping babies into conversations more and more, and I am honestly dreading the day she tells me she's pregnant, I know its awful and selfish and bitter, but i'll be heartbroken. 

Vent/s :

DH woke me up at 7am on my day off worrying about money! We're moving house this weekend, have to pay estate agents fees so are practically penniless etc...and I start a new job next month so he demanded we get up and make a 'finance plan' NOTHING depresses me more than finance plans! :growlmad:

I asked on the assisted conception forum for advice on home insemintation, not one measly response :shrug: I'm going to stick to my ladies on here in future! 

Good stuff: 

I just got an email saying my months worth of ultimate baby making supplies will be delivered between 10.07 and 11.07 this morning (very precise!) so I am excited to get into it and play with stuff!! If you don't hear from me for a while...I may have been involved in some soft cup related mishap! :haha:


----------



## StephieB

I swear I ramble on far too much in here...

Jackie, what a twat!!! (the woman, not you :haha:) Why, when and in what situation would acceptable to fake your waters breaking! Even though she's pregnant I would have had to leave the room for fear of punching her. :growlmad: She sounds like someone who's face would make me angry! 

Jenn I can't remember the last time my DH initiated sex!! I think we've got into the TTC/5 year relationship lull! Which is less than helpful when trying to have a baby. To be honest, the majority of the month I am more than satisfied to have nothing more than a Sunday morning fumble, the rest of the week I'm too tired or lazy to be bothered to have sex! Unless it's ovulation week, then we fake enthusiasm and take one for the team :haha: we even tried watching porn together a couple of months back, but we just couldn't keep a straight face (Seriously, where do some of these woman PUT those penis, its like they were born with extra holes! :haha:)


----------



## beegray

StephieB said:


> I swear I ramble on far too much in here...
> 
> Jackie, what a twat!!! (the woman, not you :haha:) Why, when and in what situation would acceptable to fake your waters breaking! Even though she's pregnant I would have had to leave the room for fear of punching her. :growlmad: She sounds like someone who's face would make me angry!
> 
> Jenn I can't remember the last time my DH initiated sex!! I think we've got into the TTC/5 year relationship lull! Which is less than helpful when trying to have a baby. To be honest, the majority of the month I am more than satisfied to have nothing more than a Sunday morning fumble, the rest of the week I'm too tired or lazy to be bothered to have sex! Unless it's ovulation week, then we fake enthusiasm and take one for the team :haha: we even tried watching porn together a couple of months back, but we just couldn't keep a straight face (Seriously, where do some of these woman PUT those penis, its like they were born with extra holes! :haha:)

OMW!!!!! LOL!!!! We tried a couple years back, same thing although our experience was so super hilarious!!! The woman moaned in music notes as if moaning to scales played on the piano.... the the guy would pull this funny face and that was us!!! It was more a comedy then anything else!!!!!!!:haha: 

I realise we quite lucky, dunno we really enjoy sex together whether it's for ttc or not. Foreplay is normally thrown out the window after about a minute or two lol! Since taking the metformin my drive has increased, abit weary about taking clomid and wat it would do to my drive? any ideas ladies?


----------



## smallstar

My rant (un-baby related!): I HATE men with small man syndrome!!!! Just because you&#8217;re short does not give you the right to be a complete TW*T!!!! That is all.

Steph i totally agree with the sex thing!!! Its like i know I&#8217;m supposed to be ovulating from today onwards potentially and should be at it at least every other day until after the weekend, but i have all the intention in my head then as soon as i get in bed that&#8217;s it!!! I&#8217;m out!!! :( Seriously, maybe need to start doing the deed on the sofa or anywhere else in the house other than the bedroom!!! LOL :)

beegray - you&#8217;re so lucky to have an increase in drive, i don&#8217;t think cloimd did me any favours and i did notice that when i stopped taking it now my drive has increased slightly but always seems to be at the wrong times! LOL 

x


----------



## beegray

smallstar said:


> My rant (un-baby related!): I HATE men with small man syndrome!!!! Just because youre short does not give you the right to be a complete TW*T!!!! That is all.
> 
> Steph i totally agree with the sex thing!!! Its like i know Im supposed to be ovulating from today onwards potentially and should be at it at least every other day until after the weekend, but i have all the intention in my head then as soon as i get in bed thats it!!! Im out!!! :( Seriously, maybe need to start doing the deed on the sofa or anywhere else in the house other than the bedroom!!! LOL :)
> 
> beegray - youre so lucky to have an increase in drive, i dont think cloimd did me any favours and i did notice that when i stopped taking it now my drive has increased slightly but always seems to be at the wrong times! LOL
> 
> x

Mine increases like mad during af????:dohh::haha:


----------



## smallstar

Exactly what i mean by bad timing!!!! :) Our bodies are seriously cruel to us on all sorts of levels!!! Grrrrrr

x


----------



## beegray

smallstar said:


> Exactly what i mean by bad timing!!!! :) Our bodies are seriously cruel to us on all sorts of levels!!! Grrrrrr
> 
> x

:haha:


----------



## StephieB

My drive seems to have driven somewhere else at the minute...I agree once I get into bed all want to do it fall asleep! I definitely agree that the clomid doesn't help!!

Well nobody warned me with how terrifying soft cups look!! I took one look at it and thought "Where the hell am I going to put that!?" then did a little jigging and succeeded in my first soft cup experience :thumbup:

I am both amazed and shocked by how big they are, now I'm starting to think all of these nights out when I've taken a handbag just to carry my phone was completely pointless :haha:


----------



## Zfbaby

My vent of the day is ttc/work related. Why is it that when the young girls going to the doctors for contreceptive injections or morning after pill get to use work time and no one bats an eyelid but I may be 5 mins late after my blood test next week and I've got to make the time up or use holiday time??? Its not like I've aske for this to happen to me or like its not a genuine medical issue. It like they consider fertility treatment to be optional. Well it isn't if you want to have a baby a cant!!!!


----------



## smallstar

Steph!!! :rofl: That is too funny!!!! LOL :haha:

Zfbaby - I know what you mean!!! Ive moved jobs since TTC and luckily new employers are flexible on time etc However, saying that in my previous role they were exactly the same as you!!! :growlmad: Allowing girls/women to take time off for contraception pill, injection etc and also "newly" pregnant women to go for blood tests, nurse appointments etc BUT if I ever was like you 5mins late back from the doctors or FS it was frowned upon and also made to make time up!! 
To be fair though, I didnt tell my employer then or now about the reason why I was going to the doctors, we have kept TTC a secret from everyone....so maybe thats why my employer was less understanding :cry: 
But then in saying that all the above is personal medical stuff that if you dont wish to divulge to everyone is your choice!!! Regardless of medical reason.

x


----------



## Zfbaby

Yeah I really wish I had never told my manager. It's probably the worst mistake I've made on this whole "journey" she hasn't really managed to be understanding without being patronising at the same time. And confidential information is a joke in my work, everyone seems to know everything and they've all got an opinion or words of advice. The only reason I told her was because i was stupid enough to think id get pg super quickly and the dr told me that clomid could have some strong emotional/hormonal side effects and my dh felt it was only fair to tell them. I think he thought that they would be nice if I cried or give me a break of I was stressed or snappy. I've not really had thy much emotional response to clomid just hot flushes and headaches. I'm kicking myself now. :(


----------



## uwa_amanda

Zfbaby said:


> Yeah I really wish I had never told my manager. It's probably the worst mistake I've made on this whole "journey" she hasn't really managed to be understanding without being patronising at the same time. And confidential information is a joke in my work, everyone seems to know everything and they've all got an opinion or words of advice. The only reason I told her was because i was stupid enough to think id get pg super quickly and the dr told me that clomid could have some strong emotional/hormonal side effects and my dh felt it was only fair to tell them. I think he thought that they would be nice if I cried or give me a break of I was stressed or snappy. I've not really had thy much emotional response to clomid just hot flushes and headaches. I'm kicking myself now. :(

Me too. My bosses actually had a sit down meeting with me and told me that my attitude basically sucked. Shows how much they care. I know how you feel. I wish I would have kept this crap to myself.


----------



## Just_married

If one more person tells me to relax and it will happen I think I will actually burst!!
First dh Sis visited and told me her ds took 15 months to conceive and I just needed to relax etc.
Worst of all was my flippin aunty, middle of a busy chemist she said it loudly and the irony is she is a ltttc who thinks clomid is the answer to everything. And the doctor yesterday told me whoever referred me for tests didn't do me any favours as I just need to relax and focus on other things. That was about 2 minutes after she asked me what day of my cycle I was on and I replied 'oh I couldn't tell you off top of my head! My bad, I'm supposed to know these things so I can get timing right eh?' so what part of that reply made her think this woman is a bit neurotic about TTC? I was there for a UTI as well, nothing to do with TTC!

A close friend 'we didn't try for long but the short time we did felt like an eternity' in a FB pm after the world an their mother had congratulated them and she wanted to let me know personally. To be fair, she doesn't know my struggle, she is one person I haven't told details to, I love her, but that was rather patronising. 

Aaaaah that feels better.


----------



## Armywife84

Now that I see the effects of you ladies telling your bosses about IF, then I'm certainly not going to tell mine. They're all men anyways, I doubt they'll give a flying feck. :dohh:

Rants:

1. A small rock smacked DH's windshield today and now there's a massive crack. :growlmad::growlmad: Fantastic. 

2. Went to the nail shop to get a pedicure and one of the worker's had their baby there. I go to relax and get pampered, instead I get motherly love thrown in my face. :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::cry::cry: Needless to say, I walked out feeling like ashamed garb because I'm unable to conceive.


----------



## sharnw

RANT: (not ltttc related)
Ahhhhh!!!! I gave in to the jackpot machines and gambled nearly $300 :( im sooo mad at myself!! F************CK

I couldve went shopping and bought groceries or paid my bills :( :( :(

That is wayyyy too far gone :nope:


----------



## wonderstars

People really don't get how much IF can affect life. :(

It's sad but the reason I'm not leaving my current job is because I know they will be supportive of the time missed. I'm not in love with it anymore and sometimes I dread going in, but I'm gonna make the sacrifice....for now.



Now how Are we supposed to "relax"?!


----------



## smallstar

wonderstars - I&#8217;m in a similar situation now, no one asks questions about time off and are really supportive if I do....downside is I&#8217;m working on a fixed term contract which is due to finish next month!!!! It scares me crapless thinking about going into another job and no one getting it again :(
Exactly how on earth are we meant to "relax" when life in general without the TTC bit added in is anything but relaxing!!!! 
Just when you think you&#8217;re getting to a good place something small/big crops up and stress levels escalate!!!! I mean REALLY!!!??? you want me to relax?!?! 
In fact I would be happy to take the whole "relax" advice if someone could show me a person who genuinely does not get stressed and can show me how to not be stressed.....anyone?!!? No didn&#8217;t think so....BECAUSE THEY DO NOT EXIST!!!! (mini rant over.)

x


----------



## Zfbaby

I would without a doubt advise others who are thinking of telling their boss not to. I know some people have had amazing success and support but I think those types of bosses are few. Would have told boss when I got of but now I won't I'll keep it secret as long as poss. 

Bit of an odd night last night, I started hallucinating at around 9pm. My hands had echoes like from some 70s trip!!! I'm scared it's the clomid as im up to 150 and thu might take me off, now I'm so stressed there's no way I can "relax".
Anyone else had this and what was the outcome?


----------



## sharnw

Zfbaby- OMG I hope its not the clomid and that your fine now :hugs:
Im only on 50mg and only getting hot flashes


----------



## smallstar

Zfbaby said:


> I would without a doubt advise others who are thinking of telling their boss not to. I know some people have had amazing success and support but I think those types of bosses are few. Would have told boss when I got of but now I won't I'll keep it secret as long as poss.
> 
> Bit of an odd night last night, I started hallucinating at around 9pm. My hands had echoes like from some 70s trip!!! I'm scared it's the clomid as im up to 150 and thu might take me off, now I'm so stressed there's no way I can "relax".
> Anyone else had this and what was the outcome?

Defo agree...plus in most places I have worked/work...despite the fact that bosses are supposed to be confidential, office gossip always arises and I would hate to think people knew and were talking about my "problem" behind my back...would make me so paranoid!!!!

Hallucinations sound awful! I have never experienced that but i was only ever on 50mg of Clomid...which did induce some serious vivid dreams but never hallucinations!!! Maybe give the docs a call just to see if thats ok?!


----------



## Zfbaby

Hi all, the funny thing is I feel absolutely fine now and I kinda did then too. I wasn't dizzy or have any nausea! Part of me is tempted to call the drs just in case and part of me is too scared. Clomid has been the only thing to make me ovulate in so long and I even had a normal af without provera so I really want to stay on it. 

Work is a nightmare sometimes and I do feel like people talk about my if or when babies come in they look at me a smile sympathetically. 
Maybe they think I'm going to run away with their babies ;)


----------



## smallstar

Zfbaby said:


> Work is a nightmare sometimes and I do feel like people talk about my if or when babies come in they look at me a smile sympathetically.
> Maybe they think I'm going to run away with their babies ;)

:haha: Zfbaby that made me chuckle!!!! x


----------



## Zfbaby

Stupid isn't it! Why do people think like that though, do they not realise that you want YOUR baby not just any baby. Why would I want yours, that would just be weird.


----------



## Snowybird

Hello lovely ladies.

Hope you don't mind me joining you with a rant........

Had to sit through lunch at work today listening to someone go on and on about how if she and het bf ever decided to have kids together, they had better be boys as tall genes in both families would make any girls a freak!

Absolutely nothing against people saying these things as realise most have no idea of infertility but I just want to scream loudly to make myself feel better!

Oh and second rant, is it heavily pregnant lady week or something, can't go anywhere this week without a large bump walking towards me of worse buggys in my way!

Sorry rant over and only one more day until this long week is over!

Hugs to all.


----------



## StephieB

Hello ladies! :flower:



Work and LTTTC - Ermmm difficult one. I also have the pleasure of suffering from stomach ulcers (at the ripe old age of 24) so all medical appointments I went to for blood tests or to see the FS I was lucky enough that I said it was a stomach thing and nobody questioned it. I start my new job next month and I really don't know how I'm going to manage dealing with a new job and infertility stuff, keep it as quiet as I can until I really need to I suppose! :shrug:

Zfbaby - Jeez those sound like scary hallucinations! On 50mg I think I get away quite lightly with very few side effects, hope you're feeling good :hugs: Id do exactly the same if I was in your situation with not telling the doc incase they make you stop taking them. My new doctor told me to stop taking clomid, but I choose to ignore him and have carried on, I'm dreading the telling off I'm going to get from my new FS when we finally see them :blush:

Snowybird - Welcome! :hi:I think it's heavily pregnant decade! I'm sure infertility gives me an amazing ability to spot pregnant woman a mile off, just like my phobia of moths means I can spot one in a 200square foot room! :haha:

My rant of the day: 

For once not LTTTC related. Teenagers these days cannot string a sentence together!! I'm currently marking A level exam papers and some of the stuff I have seen is like the ability of 6 year olds! It's like punctuation, spelling and how to correctly put together a sentence is not important to people anymore! This is also a huge bug bear of mine with my students and their lack of english skills, but when it's page after page of poorly constructed english, I have lost my faith in humanity :cry:

My favourite example from today was this beauty:

"....The participations in this experiment had gotted tricked into taking part, therefour they were deceased" :haha: my translation "The participants in this experiment were tricked into taking part, therefore they were deceived"

These are advanced level students!!! :dohh::dohh:

Sods law is that during that rant, my English was also poorly constructed.....


----------



## Tasha

Eeeek, that is shocking Steph. *scans to make sure her English is okay*:haha:


----------



## Zfbaby

Oh my god stephieb I'm petrified of moths. If one comes in the house I start screaming or crying or both. I've never met anyone else who has this phobia and everyone makes fun of me. 

I'm feeling absolutely fine today, thanks to everyone for being so nice. I'm not going to stop taking the clomid. I'm at a stage where as long as I'm not dying from it I'll try it :)


----------



## Tasha

I have the same phobia, and butterflies too.


----------



## StephieB

> I have the same phobia, and butterflies too.

Oh my god me too!!! I have never met anyone else with a butterfly phobia! :happydance: I can't send them, they are the devils creatures with their flappy wings and furry bodies :growlmad:

Zfbaby - I can't go any where near a moth. Im the same, I scream and cry and hyperventilate! I spent one night slept in my car once, because when I got home from a work meal there was a moth, sitting by the handle on my front door!! :nope:


----------



## Zfbaby

That's so weird, two people in one day. It's their furry bodies it makes me sick thinking of them. 
Whilst I was prepping dinner I was thinking over our topic of work and ttc. I remembered something that happened about a year or so ago when a colleague had their first grandchild. They came into work when the baby was 1wk old to basically show off the baby. When I didn't coo and fuss over the baby and in fact removed myself from the situation she made a formal complaint!!!! To make matters worse my boss told her that it was because I was having a hard time around babies nexus I was having fertility treatments/problems. That's how confidential my work is. You can imagine how smug that made her. 
A definite warning against sharing with work.


----------



## Zfbaby

Lol steph. I once locked me and the cat in the bathroom to escape a moth. My dh came home from work around midnight to find me asleep on the bath mat.


----------



## Just_married

I hate furry bodied moths, bit I don't mind butterflies, I even held about 8 in a row to release them when my nursery class reared them from egg stage to butterfly. I must be a weirdo.

I have a rant. Everything & everyone I dealt with today was difficult. Dh, dd, dh, chemist, did I say dh?! He has been going into a sulk at the drop of a hat today. He even went into a sulk because I asked if we could watch a funny DVD instead of yet another action/violence/gangster/chase one. Right now he is lying with his back to me pretending to sleep because hexasked mr what was wrong with me and I said nothing at all!! I also had to put up with a neighbour who repeatedly let's her dog loose in our shared gardens to poop anywhere and when I went to put rubbish in shared bin there was an old alky and his dog sitting drinking wine at the side of our building!!? I live in a nice area too! He had the cheek to say 'hello!' very cheerfully! Aaaargh!


----------



## uwa_amanda

My rant isn't even TTC related:

For the love of God, can people in Birmingham, AL NOT freakin' drive?!?!?!? I sell Avon as a hobby and achieved my sales goals for the previous year :happydance:. Every summer, the division manager hosts a luncheon where awards and recognition are passed out and all. It's about a two hour drive up there, but I have so much fun at these things that I take a vacation day from work to go. I got to go to my first one last year and had fun, so I decided to go this year when I hit my goal again for this one. I came home with a bag FULL of goodies and all. :happydance:

On my way home, it seemed that every driver in Birmingham took a stupid pill before getting behind the wheel. UGH!! :dohh: It's usually not that bad on any given day. But today...wha??? I was ready to get home right about the time I finally hit Tuscaloosa (my fave city in the whole wide world...lol), but I still had another hour to drive.


----------



## zanDark

popping in to give my favorite ladies hugs and kisses since I'm kind of all over the place at the minute and can't concentrate long enough to sit at the computer lol :hugs::kiss::hugs::kiss::hugs::kiss:


----------



## uwa_amanda

zanDark said:


> popping in to give my favorite ladies hugs and kisses since I'm kind of all over the place at the minute and can't concentrate long enough to sit at the computer lol :hugs::kiss::hugs::kiss::hugs::kiss:

MUUUUWAHHH! :rofl:

:hugs::kiss:


----------



## StephieB

> popping in to give my favorite ladies hugs and kisses since I'm kind of all over the place at the minute and can't concentrate long enough to sit at the computer lol

:kiss:



> Lol steph. I once locked me and the cat in the bathroom to escape a moth. My dh came home from work around midnight to find me asleep on the bath mat.

I would do that! Its not so bad in England, as I don't think I've seen any moths for a while :shrug: but a few years ago I lived in Saratoga, New York for 7 months and was once attacked my a full grown polyphemus moth (Only google it if you're feeling brave). I had a panic attack and fainted :blush: best friend had to catch it in a pizza box. 

Amanda - If it helps people in Birmingham, UK can't drive either (no offence to any of you brummies ladies, my car was written off my an idiot there last year) I hope you made it back safe and sound! Then again, when I'm on the road, I think everyone is an idiot except me :haha:

Zfbaby - Your boss deserves a slap! :growlmad:


----------



## BearsMummy

Zfbaby said:


> I would without a doubt advise others who are thinking of telling their boss not to. I know some people have had amazing success and support but I think those types of bosses are few. Would have told boss when I got of but now I won't I'll keep it secret as long as poss.
> 
> Bit of an odd night last night, I started hallucinating at around 9pm. My hands had echoes like from some 70s trip!!! I'm scared it's the clomid as im up to 150 and thu might take me off, now I'm so stressed there's no way I can "relax".
> Anyone else had this and what was the outcome?

I had this on my last dose of 150mg clomid.

As soon as I was done taking the tablets, they stopped. Xx


----------



## Armywife84

No offense, but the South does have some horrid drivers. :wacko:

Meh, rants: 

1. It is fecking hot here today. I'm about to strip down to my undergarments. :flasher::haha: 

2. The Reed Krakoff bag I want is full price, and I can't justify spending 1000 USD on a handbag (although it is gorgeous and an investment). However, there is this striking Alexander Wang bag on offer...then again his bags can be too trendy. :wacko::wacko:

No baby related rants, I can't be bothered with IF today. :finger:


----------



## Sykora

My cousin is officaily preg with her 3rd child with her 3rd husband. Yup 1 for each one. End rant

Im TTC with no meds for at least the next 3 months so not monitering anything. Taking the year off work as well to get myself healthy again. 

Just wanted to wish all of you the best. LtTtc can be a real pain in the butt.
:hugs:


----------



## StephieB

Karen any news on the letter front? Thought of you yesterday :flower:

Jackie buy it, BUY IT!!!! :haha::haha:

Sykora , sometimes life does just simply suck! :hugs: 

My *huge*rant:

After TTC for 27 months, and DH having his SAs done 15 months ago, only today does a different doctor say to us "Looking at your semen samples of 1.2 and 1.5ml, I think you're suffering from a condition known as hypospermia" :huh: 

So there you go. Possibly no longer unexplained infertility, but if its confirmed, thats 13 months after the original SAs wasted. Money on OPKs wasted, time spent wondering wasted, months on Clomid for nothing!!! I'm so so angry and frustrated and frankly fucked off at the original fertility specialist ho decided to pump me full of drugs and send me for test and test after test when my poor DH just simply isn't producing a big enough volume to get me pregnant. 

Next step would be IUI, which hopefully has a high chance of being successful if the sperms get to where they need to be. But still, we could have been doing this 12 months ago and have a child by now :cry::cry:


----------



## Just_married

Aaargh Stephie! Raging for you!! Don't these ppl realise the emotional & financial toll? Grrrr!


----------



## Snowybird

StephieB said:


> Karen any news on the letter front? Thought of you yesterday :flower:
> 
> Jackie buy it, BUY IT!!!! :haha::haha:
> 
> Sykora , sometimes life does just simply suck! :hugs:
> 
> My *huge*rant:
> 
> After TTC for 27 months, and DH having his SAs done 15 months ago, only today does a different doctor say to us "Looking at your semen samples of 1.2 and 1.5ml, I think you're suffering from a condition known as hypospermia" :huh:
> 
> So there you go. Possibly no longer unexplained infertility, but if its confirmed, thats 13 months after the original SAs wasted. Money on OPKs wasted, time spent wondering wasted, months on Clomid for nothing!!! I'm so so angry and frustrated and frankly fucked off at the original fertility specialist ho decided to pump me full of drugs and send me for test and test after test when my poor DH just simply isn't producing a big enough volume to get me pregnant.
> 
> Next step would be IUI, which hopefully has a high chance of being successful if the sperms get to where they need to be. But still, we could have been doing this 12 months ago and have a child by now :cry::cry:


Arghhhhhhhhh Stephie, I want to scream for you and rally feel your annoyance. 

While I am grateful we have the NHS, I do feel that so many of us are being delayed by their pure inefficiency, makes me mad. And its not just IF related its all medical problems. 

Keep with your softcap plan this month though as that will also help those precious swimmers get to their destination! 

Big hugs


----------



## StephieB

> Aaargh Stephie! Raging for you!! Don't these ppl realise the emotional & financial toll? Grrrr!

A close friend of mine lives in Glasgow, and when I told her she said she was "pure raging" for me :haha: just made me chuckle that you said the same thing. We told the doctor we'd asked about this before, and he just shrugged and said "sometimes we get it wrong" :growlmad:

Snowybird - I agree. The NHS is an absolute blessing, and gives us so many more opportunities than say American couples who have to pay thousands of dollars for fertility medication and appointments, but sometimes it does make you wonder what corners their cutting so we can have our free health service. 

Im on it with the soft cups, we've had our first home insemination trial run (Sure you wanted to know that) and after the giggling had subsided, we're all set for ovulation week :thumbup:

However, on the plus side, if it is hypospermia thats causes our problems, we have an answer, which means we can finally get a solution :happydance:


----------



## Armywife84

Sykora- I wonder what she would do if she married an infertile husband. :-k

Stephie- :hugs: for the male factor. However, on the plus side I'm glad there's a answer. 



Rant: 

Scratch the, "not bothered by IF" part. I was lurking about on Pintrest and discovered that one of my secondary chums is 4 months along with their first. Of course she got married last July. No one else had anything better to do this winter than :sex:. Too bad when I have :sex: a :baby: isn't the end result. :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::cry::cry::cry:


----------



## sharnw

Armywife :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

I know how you feel :(

If only it was (that easy)

*MAN+WOMAN+*:sex::spermy:*=*:bfp:*=*:crib:*?????* :dohh:


----------



## wonderstars

Armywife84 said:


> Rant:
> 
> Scratch the, "not bothered by IF" part. I was lurking about on Pintrest and discovered that one of my secondary chums is 4 months along with their first. Of course she got married last July. No one else had anything better to do this winter than :sex:. Too bad when I have :sex: a :baby: isn't the end result. :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::cry::cry::cry:


:hugs:

:flower:

It may not help but go grab a glass of wine, a plate of sushi, a cappuccino and sit on the couch and watch a good movie. Shut your brain off (easier said than done, I know)

That's a nurse's prescription. ;) I give it to my patients all the time.


----------



## zanDark

Steph I'd be so frustrated too!!! :hugs: But the positive thing is that you might have found your answer and can do something about it :happydance: :hugs:

Army: :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Lady H

Need to vent: BFP avatars. Can cope with scan ones, not those though. Over and out!


----------



## wannabemummyb

Morning ladies,

Steph - the NHS is a worthy rant, sorry to hear about the original miss diagnosis. Fingers crossed that the fact they cocked up will mean you get reffered for IUI quicker. How does your dh feel? Hope he is ok.

My rant - i've had a god awful stomache bug since tuesday......vomiting everything up, including water, yuck.the worse bit is that i should ov in the next couple of days, so ill during fertile period. Luckily feel a bit better today ;-)

Ltttc has really affected our sex life. Before trying we were quite happy with it, trying for a baby has decreased both our drives, df suffers from ov anxiety, i read through the thread and note that some of you lovely ladies havr the same with your oh. Since i told him that his confidence has returned

Karen - any news from pct?


----------



## Just_married

StephieB said:


> Aaargh Stephie! Raging for you!! Don't these ppl realise the emotional & financial toll? Grrrr!
> 
> A close friend of mine lives in Glasgow, and when I told her she said she was "pure raging" for me :haha: just made me chuckle that you said the same thing.Click to expand...

Haha! She must have been really angry then, pure is def the best emotional adjective we use up here. I'm 10 miles from Glasgow :)

I did actually get to the 'pure raging' stage anyway. Made us both a beatufil dinner, all dh had to do was pour juice, he opened glass cupboard above our beautiful dinners and accident dropped & smashed one all over them both. I know it wasn't his fault, but I was def pure raging.

Fingers crossed with softcups! (hmmm I just got a difficult mental image of someone trying to use cups with their fingers crossed!)


----------



## Zfbaby

Hi all, had a day off yesterday an was so busy catching up on exciting housework that I have not had a chance to get online. 

Steph- I'm sorry you've had all of that worry and pressure put on you without knowing why that sucks. I had something similar a couple of years ago with nhs. It's not ttc related but I kept going back and forth to doctors with my back. I was in constant pain and it kept giving out. 2 years after my first x-ray they reviewed my case and found they missed something. I of have had treatment then and saved myself the pain. Feels like your hitting you head against a wall. :( 

Bears, thanks for that. I've now finished this months clomid so hoping that sorts it. Have had a couple of them now and will be glad if that's it. 

No new rants today just the usual stuck at work instead of enjoying weekend. Hope you all have a good one.


----------



## zanDark

Lady H said:


> Need to vent: BFP avatars. Can cope with scan ones, not those though. Over and out!

:hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## sharnw

A facebook conversation...

*Friend*:
finds that when some people tell me what I should be doing with their baby it makes me wanna kick them in the head ... Even when it's Wes giving me 'advice' ... We can just blame the left over pregnancy hormones :)

*Her Friend's Comment* Lol its your protective Mum knows best instinct! My fav advice is from *people who have no kids* and they start judging you. That's when I want to get my Jackie Chan on!

*Her Friend's Comment* I like what my sister says it awakens ur mama bear lol :)



WELL unfortunately there are ladies out there, that dont have the option to just "have"kids :sad2:

I dont judge mothers with their babies.... But just the part how she mentions ( people who have no kids) pppffftttt


----------



## StephieB

Just a quick one ladies as I'm currently on a mattress of my new house after moving yesterday, and I have no proper internet so will respond properly later. 

Evie softcups are HUGE and look awful and terrifying but are surprisingly easy and really comfortable to use! They kind of go in length ways so they're no bigger than a tampon. 

We had to get them off amazon because they don't exist in the UK either! We had an insemination trial run a few nights ago and I can definitely say they did what they were supposed to. 

DH can't get his head around where they go still :haha:


----------



## wannabemummyb

Stephie, i hope the move goes well!


----------



## Zfbaby

*Her Friend's Comment* Lol its your protective Mum knows best instinct! My fav advice is from *people who have no kids* and they start judging you. That's when I want to get my Jackie Chan on!


Sorry but that sort of thing annoys me too! 
(If its ok to add my two pennies worth) there are plenty of people without children who do know a darn sight more than those with. I'm not saying I'm one of them but a friend I mine has no children of her own but is the most incredible norland nanny. She has parents (even those with >1 children) asking her for advice all the time. 
I haven't had a huge amount of experience with babies but, I've had friends and colleagues ask for advice on 1st babies, pregnancy an ttc. So jut coz we haven't got there yet doesn't mean we don't know better than you who do have babies.


----------



## NavyWife84

Fathers Day...need I say more?
Not only does my dh not have a dad (his dad kicked him out of his life when he was 16 and then adopted a daughter a short time later and claimed it to be a blessing because he and dhs step mother always wanted to be parents...) but I have failed at making him a father...something he has always wanted :(

Another annoying fb post (like the one recently mentioned):
The best dad in the world gets promoted to grandpa.

Well, my dad is pretty awesome but unfortunately I am not able to make him a grandpa. Lucky for him, he has two other kids who have been successful in that area.


----------



## uwa_amanda

NavyWife84 said:


> Fathers Day...need I say more?
> Not only does my dh not have a dad (his dad kicked him out of his life when he was 16 and then adopted a daughter a short time later and claimed it to be a blessing because he and dhs step mother always wanted to be parents...) but I have failed at making him a father...something he has always wanted :(
> 
> Another annoying fb post (like the one recently mentioned):
> The best dad in the world gets promoted to grandpa.
> 
> Well, my dad is pretty awesome but unfortunately I am not able to make him a grandpa. Lucky for him, he has two other kids who have been successful in that area.

I sat at my kitchen table sobbing last night because today is Father's Day. I'm taking Father's Day alot harder than I did when Mother's Day rolled around last month. I want to make my husband a daddy so bad but now I feel like I failed him. 

I hope this day gets over pretty quickly...then I can focus on mine and my sisters' birthdays next month. All three of us were born in July so we pick at our parents about only getting busy once a year! :haha:


----------



## wonderstars

Yep, I'm with you ladies today on Father's Day. I'm having a hard time coping today. I was actually okay on Mother's Day but today is breaking my heart. I haven't cried about IF in a long long time but I think I'm due. :cry:

He did get a cute little card from the dogs and pancakes to try and make up for it. 

Here's to hoping next year we're celebrating. :thumbup:


----------



## wannabemummyb

Ditto on the fathers day thing. Df has a son who to be frank hasn't spoilt his dad at all today (he lives with us) which has upset df a little (even if he won't admit it).... It just makes me sad, i would love to make him a daddy again and feel totally inadequate that I can't.

I'm fed up feeling a failure!


----------



## Just_married

Huge hugs to all today. I know it's hard for many! My dh is stepdad to my 16yr old dd and he has an 8yr old dd who's mum has banned him from her life as the ultimate act of vindictiveness, hasn't seen her since she was 12wks.

Silly me actually thought fate might smile upon me today as I'm 11dpo & willed an hcg to be positive so I could give him amazing news. Wasted 2 strips where dye was all over place on and gave up.

On a cheerful note, we took my dad to a garden centre as he's a pt gardener and water to buy some hanging baskets. I got chance to buy him a members card with lots of free gifts & vouchers for £10 which made him delighted, I've never seen him so happy about a gift! I had a very difficult relationship with my dad as a child, but we have both mellowed a lot and it's only now we truly appreciate each other and I'm so grateful for this. Also had a good chat with a friend who is 13 wks pregnant. I had felt offended at her only TTC for 4 months and saying it felt like an eternity and offering me a shoulder to cry on if TTC wS upsetting me, but it turns out she had come off bcp 2 yrs ago and ws all that time. teaches me not to jump to conclusions myself. 

Hope today gets better for you all and you end up with a smile on your face :)


----------



## Armywife84

I'm a little bothered by Father's Day too. This time last year, I was hoping to make DH a father by today. Oh well, here's hoping that he can celebrate next FD as a father. :cry::cry:

Rants:

1. I rang mother to chat with her...then she brings up how she so and so out (childhood friend) and she recently had her a baby. :wacko: Apparently, she named her new daughter, "Lila" what I'm hoping to name a girl (if I ever get one). :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad: I was upset and had a go at my mother for telling me that garb. That was my name!! :hissy: At least I have back-up names, Ivy is starting to sound much better. 

2. I was in the market with DH and kept running into pregnant cows pushing trolleys filled to the brim with food and more children. Damn breeders. :haha::haha:

3. I have to drop DH off on base at 4 am! He's going to be away for training a whole week. I'll be busy with work, but I'm not pleased that I'm going to be alone. :nope:


----------



## StephieB

Completely and utterly with you all with being far more upset of fathers day than mothers day :shrug: I wish I could personally fly round and give each and every one of you a hug, because of all the people in the world who understand how we're feeling today it's each other. 

We have a list of about 3 girls and boys names that we have had since we started TTC, one of which is Poppy, which sort of came around during the first and ver short time we were pregnant. Well yesterday we moved into our new house, and finally had today to ourselves to settle in. We had a bit of an emotional morning as I gave my DH a fathers day card from the cats :blush: and I got upset it wasn't a proper one, but pulled our selves together and set about doing some gardening in our new garden :happydance:

I went inside to get a drink, out of nowhere DH screams at me from the garden to "come NOW!" so I run outside, and underneath an overgrown bush, DH has unearthed two beautiful big red poppies that were hiding underneath :flower: Apparently its a sign the new house will bring us luck! 

Jackie - Ivy is a gorgeous name! :thumbup:

Edit: Yes I know that poppies are a weed, and currently every hedge row in England is covered in them, but to DH its a sign! Maybe we should have a boys name as "thistle" or "dandelion" just to bring extra luck....


----------



## Just_married

Love the poppy story Steph!
Army that really sucks grrr!

We have a definite name for boy or girl. Girl after both our grans (shared same name) and boy after a musical legend.

I'd be raging if close friend/family used either, but as my gran only passed away last yr and I have a large family it's giving me an even bigger sense of urgency to have a baby SOON! I don't think there's any chance of them nicking the boys name tho.....Cash, it's not everyone's cup of tea lol x

We are so sad tho, we even have 4 names chosen in case we have twins or 2 children of either boy/boy, or girl/girl lol x


----------



## uwa_amanda

We've had names picked out since before we got married. We were planning on Aidan Michael for a boy and Brianna Jordan for a girl. I want so bad to name my son after my husband (at least his first name anyway). Then I can say that my son is named after his father, grandfather, and great grandfather. DH won't go for that though. Oh well...:shrug:


----------



## Zfbaby

Having an absolutely rubbish morning so far. :( 
Dh left his wallet at work and woke me up with an early morning txt to ask if I can bring it to him. So I rushed to get ready for the early train, forgot my lunch, hot my clothes snagged and dirty thanks to a very wet moggy and missed the train anyway. To top it all off the 1st opk kit of the month was faulty ( stupid digital things) so that's put me in a funk. Was thinking of starting this months bd tonight but have a feeling this day will start getting worse once I hit work and then I won't want to. Def got the hump


----------



## Zfbaby

Sorry I just read that back. His wallet was at home not that it makes a difference I guess. :)


----------



## smallstar

Morning ladies!!!
had a mad busy weekend...other halfs birthday on Saturday so was out all day (trying to also take our minds off Sunday and it being fathers day! :( )

had a terribly silly pointless fall out with my own dad on Friday which made visiting yesterday a little bit awkward which is not what i wanted!!!! :cry:

fb COVERED in fathers day posts, cards, pics, etc Just feel so awful for OH as he is so good at always putting on a brave face i know he does this because i struggle with this a lot more than he does!!! But it breaks my heart knowing in some way i am failing him and there is nothing i can do!!!! LITERALLY would do anything to make this happen for him.....

Steph - I cannot believe that!!! Makes me really think about my own situation could they have got it wrong somewhere along the lines?!?!? SOOOOOO frustrating!!! You put good faith in the NHS and "experts" to be telling you the truth and helping you as best as possible, but like you said for all the free NHS we get how many corners are cut :( There isnt even a way of looking into this, like you it would probably end up with a call out the blue saying sorry we made a mistake!!! WTF!!!?!?


----------



## StephieB

:hugs: sorry to hear you had an argument with your Dad, hope it was all sorted out yesterday :flower:

The most frustrating thing is we asked the doctor and fertility specialist every single time we went if it was my DHs amount that could be causing a problem and every time we were told no!! DH was born was an undescended testicle which was removed when he was 3 months old, and has always made "small deposits" and was originally told by the urologist when he was 15 that it would be a little bit harder from him to have children because his poor testicle was a lone ranger. :haha:

Now I know it's not impossible for us to conceive with only 1ml, as its happened before, but the new doc said although DHs count and motility is fine,the small amount means there is less 'semen' to keep it alive and take it to where it needs to be which will make it more difficult, which we told them from the start! :dohh: Oh well, now to wait and see if IUI will be given to us and hopefully set things straight! 

I really wish we had the money to go private, but sadly we don't so I have to carry on putting my faith in the NHS for the time being! :shrug:

Luckily DH isn't upset of angry, he's relieved and keeps doing the whole "Told you so!" thing to me because he has always said it was that that was the problem. He's happy that we've possibly found a solution to our problem, so his taking it really well :thumbup:


----------



## NavyWife84

Zf-sorry about your bad day:(
Small-sorry about your argument with your dad. 
Steph-glad you could possibly have an answer...I WANT AN ANSWER!!! Lol

Feeling down today. My temp dropped this morning, which means af will be here by tomorrow...just in time to watch my 17 month old neice (they started ttc just before us :( )
Also, my mom is down in florida, putting my grandma into a hospice house. She hasn't been doing well since my grandpa passed, over a year ago. So, this isn't unexpected, but it is hard to hear that they are taking her off all her meds except the ones to make her comfortable:(


----------



## BearsMummy

Been away for a few days, my life has gone to shit.

AF arrived, but I had no warning except for a really bad mood.

I had a massive arguement with a 'friend' who thinks she can run my life! She even turned up at my house afterwards to check if I was lying about not being in!! So we ar thinking about moving, so she can't keep turning up here.

My CRB showed driving offences from years ago, and I have received a shitty email saying they will not be processing my job application any further, s I have been turned down for the job,but no explanation, just that they wont be processing my appkication further. I have emailed them for an explanation,but have got no reply. I can't work it out, I have worked at the hospital since these offences before, so why not now?

And I still haven't heard from the PCT, but I am not feeling at all optimistic after the week I have had.

I just want to curl up, go to sleep and stay there forever.


----------



## Just_married

Aw bear :(

1-next time I see that witch heading for you I'm gonna rugby tackle the ugly boot and lock her in my coal cellar.

2-she's not a real 'friend' she's a 'frenemy'.

3-you are legally entitled to a reason and an appeal if you believe it's unfair. Go to direct.gov and look up your rights. They need to justify it in writing and it must be legal (they need to prove it wasn't discrimination etc).

4-pct no news is good news! You haven't had a 'no'. Nhs are ridiculously inept sometimes. Eg I had 2 tests last week, was told to phone results today. I literally live across road from surgery, but they claimed not to have a contact number for me and have posted out a prescription. Great eh?

Most of all, chin up! You have all of us cheerleading you! Hugs and squeezes xxx


Chin up deer!


----------



## rosebud_01_99

i seriously think that thread 'it can happen' should be removed not just closed im after reading the last 3 posts there by secondary lttc's and others who are obviously not lttc and they are being very offensive and rude, im very annoyed they they can come in here and call us bitter and past it and we should just give up and look to other options. im really angry and offended. im seroulsy condsitering not returning to this site any more because of this rosebud


----------



## rosebud_01_99

seriously who does snowglobe21 think she is a 21 yr old pregant cow posting on here getting herself off by being nasty to those who are dealing with lttc. this is the comment she made on it can happen. 

" there are too many bitter old bitties on here that are past the stage of realistically having a chance and should just consider other options. 

this is a link to the question i have opened in help asking for a option to ban trolls like her from posting on here.


https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/f...member-barred-posting-forum.html#post18975663


----------



## BearsMummy

Thanks Just_Married!

I have already emailed her to askfor an explanation, but have received no reply. I am going to look on direct.gov and email the HEAD of HR and ask, and also inform them of how rude a one sentence email telling me they will not be proceeding with my application and no explanation is.

I have just caught up with 'that' thread, all I can say is WOW!! It's a good job it's locked, the mood I'm in,I would have let rip!

What is it with all these pregnant people coming over and doing this recently?


----------



## Armywife84

rosebud_01_99 said:


> i seriously think that thread 'it can happen' should be removed not just closed im after reading the last 3 posts there by secondary lttc's and others who are obviously not lttc and they are being very offensive and rude, im very annoyed they they can come in here and call us bitter and past it and we should just give up and look to other options. im really angry and offended. im seroulsy condsitering not returning to this site any more because of this rosebud

Oh no please stay! :cry::cry: People are going to always going to call us bitter, rude, cows, jealous, and the list goes on. Forget them, laugh it off. 

I was trying to get you to laugh about it, not be upset about it. I'm so very sorry.


----------



## Just_married

rosebud_01_99 said:


> seriously who does snowglobe21 think she is a 21 yr old pregant cow posting on here getting herself off by being nasty to those who are dealing with lttc. this is the comment she made on it can happen.
> 
> " there are too many bitter old bitties on here that are past the stage of realistically having a chance and should just consider other options.
> 
> this is a link to the question i have opened in help asking for a option to ban trolls like her from posting on here.
> 
> 
> https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/f...member-barred-posting-forum.html#post18975663

I found that quite disturbing thread altogether. It was obviously misleading as others say softcups won't work for blOcked tubes, maybe she forgot to mention tubal surgery b4 using the softcups? Hmmm

At best it was a bit insensitive and shd def have been in success stories.

The issue that really got to me there was the competitive streak for ltttc, I've never ever felt any resentment from you ladies who have been trying for yrs, I'm only onto cycle 17 on wed and have always said I take my hat off to those of you who support & encourage and make me laugh about the daft things we do to try and get a bfp. I would hate to think I was offending any ltttc by being here after only 14 months TTC. If so, I truly apologise! 

Xxx


----------



## Armywife84

Just_married said:


> rosebud_01_99 said:
> 
> 
> seriously who does snowglobe21 think she is a 21 yr old pregant cow posting on here getting herself off by being nasty to those who are dealing with lttc. this is the comment she made on it can happen.
> 
> " there are too many bitter old bitties on here that are past the stage of realistically having a chance and should just consider other options.
> 
> this is a link to the question i have opened in help asking for a option to ban trolls like her from posting on here.
> 
> 
> https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/f...member-barred-posting-forum.html#post18975663
> 
> I found that quite disturbing thread altogether. It was obviously misleading as others say softcups won't work for blOcked tubes, maybe she forgot to mention tubal surgery b4 using the softcups? Hmmm
> 
> At best it was a bit insensitive and shd def have been in success stories.
> 
> The issue that really got to me there was the competitive streak for ltttc, I've never ever felt any resentment from you ladies who have been trying for yrs, I'm only onto cycle 17 on wed and have always said I take my hat off to those of you who support & encourage and make me laugh about the daft things we do to try and get a bfp. I would hate to think I was offending any ltttc by being here after only 14 months TTC. If so, I truly apologise!
> 
> XxxClick to expand...

JM, you're over 35 so it's like you're at 2 years. Don't fret, you're certainly LTTC (as bad as that sounds, :dohh:). :hugs:


----------



## rosebud_01_99

i dont get offened by hw long women are ttc and i dont care if you post here abt things that get too us all like coping with childless in our family life ect, but i do get offened when someone ttc for perhaps 2yrs or something gets pg and feels they have beaten all odds and post on her to give us hope! and basicly try to give advice to someone who has been ttc for decades, and has tried everything, do you know what im saying? thanks rosebud


----------



## BearsMummy

I agree, out of the nearly 1000 posts on this thread, I have never seen any of us be competitve about how long we have been LTTTC!

We are all in the same boat and have the same feelings regardless of how long its been.

Just_Married, don't be daft! We love you!!


----------



## Armywife84

rosebud_01_99 said:


> i dont get offened by hw long women are ttc and i dont care if you post here abt things that get too us all like coping with childless in our family life ect, but i do get offened when someone ttc for perhaps 2yrs or something gets pg and feels they have beaten all odds and post on her to give us hope! and basicly try to give advice to someone who has been ttc for decades, and has tried everything, do you know what im saying? thanks rosebud

Patronizing, in other words.


----------



## StephieB

Rosebud don't leave :hugs:

What was said in that thread was hurtful, spiteful and down right rude, but she is just one tiny little blip in on the bumpy road of LTTTC, and you have all of us behind you and here for you every step of the way, if you leave people like her have won and we would miss you :cry:



> The issue that really got to me there was the competitive streak for ltttc, I've never ever felt any resentment from you ladies who have been trying for yrs, I'm only onto cycle 17 on wed and have always said I take my hat off to those of you who support & encourage and make me laugh about the daft things we do to try and get a bfp. I would hate to think I was offending any ltttc by being here after only 14 months TTC. If so, I truly apologise!

I agree I don't like that LTTTC was made to look like a competitive sport in that thead, but I can completely understand, in that situation why it was brought up. Like you said as far as most of us are concerned LTTTC is LTTTC, at 2 years 4 months I'm still a newbie in this catergory, but I have never felt any resentment from members like Rosebud, Karen, wannabe or Jackie, who I know have been fighting this for much longer than me, I have just felt support, encouragement and inspiration from them :hugs:

Karen we've missed you on here the past few days! So glad to see your face (name?) again :happydance: As for the job thats just downright uncalled for, they can't not give you an explanation, and really if they are going to do something like that to you during the application process, chances are you're better off not working for a place like that as it would only get worse! (I know its easier said than done!)


----------



## zanDark

I love you guys and wanted to offer :hug: and to let you know that my PM box is always open if you need a chat or some hugs :hugs:


loads of :dust: to all my wonderful ladies in hopes that each and every one of you will get your bfp soon. 

:hi:


----------



## StephieB

:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:


----------



## StephieB

*vent* (it is the venting thread after all...)

I just don't understand how in the past week or so, three regular, active members of the LTTTC forums have been so upset they have felt that they no longer feel comfortable in here, because of callous and hurtful messages posted by others. Now I'm not saying all of these messages were designed to cause intentional hurt, but they caused hurt non the less. 

Yet all I see are my friends, woman who I get so much support and guidance from being reprimanded time after time for comments they have made in the heat of the moment, when they are upset, hurt and trying to defend their circumstances and feelings (which shouldn't have to be done in the LTTTC forum) yet the members who have made the hurtful remarks to LTTTC-ers (whether intentional or not) don't appear to have been pulled up for it at all. :cry:

Now I fully understand that there is a lot of 'behind the scenes' that goes on with BnB, I have friends who are moderators of successful popular websites, but to the public viewer, it is just woman who are so hurt from the journey they are going through that we automatically jump to defend ourselves, that appear to be 'the bad ones' :nope:


----------



## StephieB

On second thoughts in my not so eloquently put words. 

This forum is turning into an absolute load of bollocks!!! One rule for one, and a completely different rule for everyone else. 

We might as well rename this forum "LTTTC - Full of hurting woman longing for a child, feel free to go and belittle them when you're bored, they can't fight back"

](*,)


----------



## Zfbaby

Came on tonight to add to my bad day vent ( got pooed on twice by birds today :( ) and thought I'd read the posts that everyone was referring to. All I can say is wow. Do ppl really think like that, that if you're older you should give up??? Is that not the same as someone older saying "you're only 24 or whatever, come back in a few years". You can't help when the desire for children takes you. I get so upset when ppl say you're only 29 you've got plenty of time. My body doesn't think so :(


----------



## Just_married

You know the things I love love love about this thread is (obviously that you girls are all gorgeous charlies angels 'I got your back' kinda girls) but also that none of you symptom spot ever. It has to be the most irritating thing EVER!

I remember even as a new member my mind was boggling at the 'my left nipple was itching' and worst of all some woman saying she got her husband to compare the colour of her (ahem) lips (urgh!) as she read that when pregnant they go purply pink, oh but they also go that colour before af. Uum, what the heck? And the ones who start a whole thread listing their symptoms at 3 dpo. Here comes the science bit lol 

Not really a vent, more of a 'I'm glad I gave this thread' statement! X


----------



## uwa_amanda

Just_married said:


> You know the things I love love love about this thread is (obviously that you girls are all gorgeous charlies angels 'I got your back' kinda girls) but also that none of you symptom spot ever. It has to be the most irritating thing EVER!
> 
> I remember even as a new member my mind was boggling at the 'my left nipple was itching' and worst of all some woman saying she got her husband to compare the colour of her (ahem) lips (urgh!) as she read that when pregnant they go purply pink, oh but they also go that colour before af. Uum, what the heck? And the ones who start a whole thread listing their symptoms at 3 dpo. Here comes the science bit lol
> 
> Not really a vent, more of a 'I'm glad I gave this thread' statement! X

Me too...that's part of the reason why I don't frequent the ttc section much. It seems like every other thread is "4dpo...my boobs are huge!" or "6dpo...BFN...losing it!" or whatever. :haha: I was all positive and all when we first started trying, but some of it can get a little ridiculous. And then when you realize that there's a problem, and you won't get pregnant so easily, you start to face reality. :wacko: That's about the time you realize that symptom spotting is driving you nuts and does absolutely NO good whatsoever except get your hopes up only to be devastated when the :witch: shows her ugly face. *jumps off soapbox*

My vent for the day: If you are going to be late for work, come up with a better excuse than "my pregnant sister just got put in the hospital." Now it wouldn't be so bad if the girl ACTUALLY LIVED IN THE SAME STATE!!!!! :dohh: Nope...girlie's 250+ miles away. So when the guy finally came in an hour and fifteen minutes late, he got suspended for the rest of the week. Not only did he get punished, but his partner ended up having to do double work and will be all week long. She's about to go insane already and it's only Monday.


----------



## NavyWife84

Zfbaby said:


> Came on tonight to add to my bad day vent ( got pooed on twice by birds today :( ) and thought I'd read the posts that everyone was referring to. All I can say is wow. Do ppl really think like that, that if you're older you should give up??? Is that not the same as someone older saying "you're only 24 or whatever, come back in a few years". You can't help when the desire for children takes you. I get so upset when ppl say you're only 29 you've got plenty of time. My body doesn't think so :(

Sorry about the birds :(
People are so damn judgemental! I'm going to let a little honesty out and I know I will probably piss some of you wonderful ladies off and I appologize in advance. I love having your support and being able to support you as well, so I hope I don't get shunned, lol...
I'm sorry I am "only" 28 and I have "only" been ttc for just under two years but it still hurts. I have been through all of the tests that they do for infertility, have been on clomid for 4 months, and have had 3 iuis. I am up for ivf very soon. It has always been my dream to have kids young (I wanted to have my first at 24) and I wanted 4 kids. However, I also wanted a career, a husband, and stability before beginning to ttc. I didn't get married until I was 24 and we waited 2 years to get settled before ttc. My dad got very sick when I was 6 and therefore never had the energy for me that he had for my older brother and sister. I have been terrified my whole life of not having enough energy for my kids, especially my youngest ones because they would be born when I was "older". Now 30 is quickly approaching (I know that isn't old but in my mind it is) and I am so afraid that my kids are going to have friends with young moms with lots of energy and I am going to feel like I have failed my kids. Having kids young is no longer an option for me. I was supposed to be working on number 3 by now. My dad was given 20 years tops to live and that was 23 years ago. Thank God modern science and medicine has kept him healthy and he no longer has a "death sentence" over his head. Furthermore, young cancer runs in my family, affecting some of my family members as early as 40. I know that doesn't mean I will get sick, but it terrifies me. Being sick doesn't terrify me, but putting dh and my kids through that at such a young age terrifies me. I know my struggles haven't been near as long or as hard as most of you, but I always felt like I belonged here until recently. I don't belong in the regular ttc section with women getting bfps every day and now I kind of feel like I don't belong here. I'm not over 35 and I have not been ttc for over 2 years. So I guess I don't belong anywhere? I don't mean to be throwing a pitty party here, but I have been upset by this all day. I would never compare myself to you ladies who have been at this so much longer than me. I understand I am still a "newbie" but I still feel like I belong in the lttc section. Tbh...I feel that anyone who has been ttc for over a year should be welcomed into the ltttc forums. Afterall, that is when the docs start doing testing and treatments. 
That being said, I am totally on your side when it comes to the arguement that occured on the other thread. Knowing that I haven't been at this as long as most of the ltttc ladies, I would never compare myself to you. I would also never post anything about my bfp in the ltttc section, unless it was in the success stories forum. I also know that I am very fortunate to have the insurance I have and am able to quickly move on to ivf without being on a waiting list. But, that is my decision and like I said I am very lucky. I would never tell another ltttcer (or any other woman for that matter) to just move past it and move on with other means of having children...or however it was said. Alternate methods arnt for everyone nor are they an option for many people. 
I agree with stephie that we aren't being respected as we should and don't have the support from admin that everyone else gets. Both sides usually get nasty, but we seem to be the ones that get reprimanded. It just doesn't seem fair. I guess we have to start reporting others before they report us and ask wobbles to remove the insulting posts. I really don't want to lose bnb and the wonderful ladies on here, but I am really getting discouraged lately. 
I really do admire you ladies and (as strange as it seems) look up to you women who have been at this for so much longer than I have.


----------



## uwa_amanda

I have started getting discouraged too, but don't for once think that you aren't welcome here with the rest of us. You are welcome here with open arms. :hugs: 

Here lately, I'll post whenever I feel like my post won't offend anyone. But after what's been going on lately, I'm just mainly reading and responding generically. I read that other thread and decided it wouldn't do me any good to respond because I was afraid that it would piss someone off. I wouldn't have been mean about anything said, I just didn't want to deal with it. I ended up leaving BnB for a couple of days to get away from it all after the first chain of events that happened.


----------



## StephieB

Jenn why would that piss any of us off? :hugs:

I'm sorry that whatever has been said today has made you upset and like you don't belong, you do belong!! Personally, and I can't speak for everyone, I don't care how many months any of you have been trying, how old you are or where you're from, all I know is that you all understand and we all grieve the same way. 

Heck, if you don't belong, neither do I! Hello, my names Stephanie I'm "only" 24 and I've "only" been TTC for 2 years and 4 months. Due to the country I livein I have only just been given access to clomid, I don't know when ill get access to Iui, and I don't know if ill ever be eligible for iivf. 

Our journeys are all different, we have different stories, attitudes and coping mechanisms, but we should all be united in a shared goal and help each other to reach it and console those who don't. 

This is all getting a bit to sentimentalfor me now. Pop. Bums. Willie.boobs : :haha:


----------



## StephieB

It saddens me that people don't feel like they can respond in here anymore, partly for selfish reasons as this is my only form of support with TTC, but mostly because just like so many of us havesuffered in real life, we're becoming censored in what we can say about the struggles of infertility. Its a real shame that on BnB you don't seem to get a say unless you have a pram to push or a bump to rub.


----------



## wonderstars

I just came to this forum after 1 year TTC. I don't think anyone should be compared. No matter how long or how short you've been TTC'ing, no matter if you're primary or secondary, whether you're young or old. Doesn't matter about any of that because I came to the forum because I knew people would understand the pain of going through infertility.

I'd never even THINK of coming to this forum and randomly posting about my BFP. I know where everyone has been and I would never want anyone to do that to me. I guess that's what bothers me. I see no LTTCers going into other forums to cause harm. However, I see many women come in here and cause harm. There is a reason that so many forums out there call for no mention of BFPs or children in the forum. You do and you're cut. 

I have also stopped posting frequently because I feel like you do uwa. When I created this thread, I felt safe in venting. I don't feel safe in doing that anymore. I came here because I can't talk to anyone in real life, now I feel as if all we do is defend ourselves in every arena. :shrug:


----------



## zanDark

Steph said it perfectly :thumbup::hugs:

First of all...I'm truly sorry if I ever said anything that made someone feel unwelcome or uncomfortable, I also apologize to the mods if I caused them extra work or I frustrated them...I know how difficult it is to mod and I always try my best to follow rules. I've never intentionally meant to frustrate anyone, and I always try to word my posts carefully to avoid misunderstandings.

For me...everything that's happened over the past couple of weeks has nothing to do with how long people have been trying, how old they are, or how many kids they already have...it's about being called names by people holding babies in their arms or feeling them moving around in their bellies....it's about being insulted for feeling hurt.

those people...even if they were LTTTC for 19 years before they had their babies...are not a part of this support group...and I can't imagine them being a member of any support group for that matter since they're very obviously incapable of feeling compassion. If they were they wouldn't be kicking people while they're down. 

It's as simple as that. I honestly don't think anyone has a problem with how long people have been TTC.

The reason I'm no longer going to post in LTTTC is because I'm tired of being forced to defend myself and then getting into trouble for doing so. 

LTTTC is a dark, angry, and hurtful place...and unfortunately constantly misunderstood...even in the place dedicated to it...I guess it's going to have to continue being lonely too.


----------



## Armywife84

I don't know about the rest of you bitter :mamafy:s :haha:, but I'm going to stay and rant, bitch, rave all I want in this forum. This is a forum made for US. Let's not let any of these other women (I'll stay classy on this one) drive us away. 

I will NOT let anyone drive me off this forum, post any less, harass me, write rude choice words. This is MY PLACE. I put up with enough crap day in and out about IF of where I have to watch my tone, but I will NOT watch it in a place that is apparently a safe haven for LTTC. 

Call me a bitch, jealous, rude, I prefer to be called bitter cow (it makes me laugh) all you want...I'm here to stay. :bodyb: 

At the end of the day, we're a strong bunch. Let's not forget that. :flower:


----------



## Just_married

If any of you leave.....you'll be denying the rest of us the support, love, laughter & unique kinmanship we have with you.

Yep, there it is, a great big wobbly guilt trip. How's it work for you?

Don't gooooo!!! Xxx


----------



## beegray

ONly caught up now with the big who ha and read the thread that people have been talking about. Hectic!!!!!! Since joining this forum, I must admit, I have never seen any type of "competition" going on between member? I am pretty sure those who have been LTTTC would love NOT to be in the position they are in!!!!! I'd give anything to not have the last two and abit years dangling over my head, nor I don't think any one on this forum would relish their years either. Me at my two years would never be able to understand someone who is sitting at five or more. These ladies who have managed to keep their heads above water after all these years deserve medals for bravery and honour! The reason (I see) behind this forum is for us to vent when we need to since many people in our circle in real life don't understand, at least ladies on here understand what you are going through. I'm sorry but i don't agree with the statement (and i have heard this elsewhere) that if you been trying for two months or two years we all need support. Yes, we all need support but two months is very different to two years, and two years is different to five or ten or even longer! Those who have been LTTTC for longer then I have, I look up to them because if they can make it through well then so can I, if they haven't given up on a hope and a dream then I can hold onto mine too. You ladies rock!!!!!!:hugs:


----------



## StephieB

> If any of you leave.....you'll be denying the rest of us the support, love, laughter & unique kinmanship we have with you.
> 
> Yep, there it is, a great big wobbly guilt trip. How's it work for you?
> 
> Don't gooooo!!! Xxx

:rofl:


----------



## smallstar

Morning ladies, i too have only just caught up with yesterdays hoo ha!!! 

I too can only echo all that has been said really.....i am 27 (nearly 28 :( )and have been TTC for over 2years now, and as i have said before in all that time this place with you lovely ladies has been a god send to my mental stability.....for so long i felt that i was the only person this was happening too and that i had been singled out by the powers above!!! But finding this forum has helped me so much and in such a short space of time i cannot thank you all individually or enough but i genuinely mean it THANK YOU for just all being you :blush:

Ive said it before but for all the bad and hurtful things that get said its knowing that you ladies are here to support, help, encourage and offer friendship wins hands down and tenfold!!!! :flower:


----------



## uwa_amanda

I just want to say that I'm sorry to everyone for my comments last night about feeling like I can't say anything without offending everyone. I was feeling pretty low last night. Now that I've cried about it and slept on it, I echo the same things that everybody else has said. I don't know what I would do without you ladies here rooting me on. Even though we aren't trying right now because of finances and things, I still feel like I belong here with everyone else because of our situations. I really appreciate everyone of you who pick me up when I am down and offer encouraging words to me whenever I have these moments like I did last night.

Now my vent for the morning:

It's only Tuesday. Dammit! It needs to be Friday!!!


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## StephieB

I feel like we would all be awesome drinking buddies 

"I just...lo...love you so much, no i really *hiccup* do"

"Nooo, I love yooouu so much, and you have really pretty hair" :drunk:

Amanda there is absolutely no need to apologise, thats what we're here for, to pick each other up when we're feeling down. When its my turn to have a few down days (probably in about a week or so) I will expect you to return the favour, give me a cyber slap across the face and make me pull myself together :winkwink:


----------



## rosebud_01_99

anyone feel like a group hug (((())))),

i was just so angry yesterday about what was said i felt like i didnt have anywhere left to vent or bitch about the shitty hand life has delt me without being judged by these type of women.


but now i have read the supportive post and pms by you guys i realise i would be a fool to leave this group, its what keeps me sane most days.


my rant for today, is that i have to restart my diet and fitness regime today after 2months of having a huge pity party and eating crap and doing no exercise... its gonna be tough but i owe it to myself to not slide back in life and regain all the weight i lost over the last 2yrs (92lbs) i dont want to be that person anymore who comfort eats my way through this stuff. i have to find the strenght somewhere inside to pick myself up and lose the 9lb i gained in the last 2months and start afreash.

talk later
rosebud


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## uwa_amanda

I'm up for a group hug and a few drinks too! :haha::haha:


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## smallstar

I never need an excuse to have a drink (or 50!!!)....:haha:
:wine:


----------



## uwa_amanda

smallstar said:


> I never need an excuse to have a drink (or 50!!!)....:haha:
> :wine:

AMEN sistah!


----------



## NavyWife84

You ladies are all wonderful! I am going to have a drink tonight and cheers to you all :) 

I'm glad you all feel that I belong here even though I haven't been trying as long as you. I don't know what I would do without you!!! Also, sorry for my long message before...af should be here any minute :(


----------



## wannabemummyb

Wow ladies, seems like there has been another interesting day.

The other thread annoyed me a little, i read the op and decided not to comment. To be honest, i tend to only lurk and sometimes post on this thread nowdays. One thing this crappy IF journey has taught me is that it is possible to find an awesome support group online, so for that ladies I thank you!

My vent for the day; i just feel really sulky and stroppy about the whole IF thing at the mo, IF sux. I am fed up going through all this and notbeing able to give df the baby that he wants!


----------



## uwa_amanda

I'm feeling a little pissy myself. I think PMS is hitting me early this month....ugh


----------



## StephieB

this week just seems like a pretty shitty week all round :growlmad:

My rant : Stomach ulcers :hissy: leave me alone!!


----------



## wannabemummyb

uwa_amanda said:


> I'm feeling a little pissy myself. I think PMS is hitting me early this month....ugh

Me too :nope:


----------



## Armywife84

Fantastic! I am so very pleased that none of you are leaving BNB. :happydance::happydance::happydance:


Rosebud- 92 lbs., what an accomplishment!! :thumbup:

Af is around the corner for me as well, scheduled for Sunday. I know I'm synced up with at least 4 of you on here.. Now who was it? :haha:

----Back to bitching----

1. I have to go fecking bikini shopping when DH gets back from training. He has this ridiculous trip to some public waterpark (you know the kind with wee in the pools :sick:) for work to attend. I cannot find a single bathing suit I fancy online and have yet to look in the shops. I'm certain the selection will be just as slim and atrocious. :dohh: That's not even the best part, I get to watch everyone bring their LOs to the park as well. 

Maybe I'll just stay in the corner, catching some rays, sneak a cig, and maybe even bring a flask of rum. :rofl:


----------



## Just_married

Army I'm just a few days ahead of you, af due tomorrow. Usually few days before af I've felt like I needed a few Valium, not for pms but cos I've swung between complete fatalistic I'm def not pregnant to thinking just may this will be my month. This month is different...I naughtily phone clinic on Monday and said i was cd1 so I could book an hsg (only do 3 ladies a week, only on a wed and only on cd7-10 and you've to phone on cd1 to book). Well this is 1st month cd7-10 shd be on a we'd and I just wanted to get in there before anybody else as I want answers.

Am I terribly naughty? Ah well, ma bad. Knowing it's coming u has eased my nuerosis to a bearable level.

Hope pms isn't too bad for you and rest of you waiting this week.

Anybody any advice for hsg? X


----------



## uwa_amanda

Armywife84 said:


> Fantastic! I am so very pleased that none of you are leaving BNB. :happydance::happydance::happydance:
> 
> 
> Rosebud- 92 lbs., what an accomplishment!! :thumbup:
> 
> Af is around the corner for me as well, scheduled for Sunday. I know I'm synced up with at least 4 of you on here.. Now who was it? :haha:
> 
> ----Back to bitching----
> 
> 1. I have to go fecking bikini shopping when DH gets back from training. He has this ridiculous trip to some public waterpark (you know the kind with wee in the pools :sick:) for work to attend. I cannot find a single bathing suit I fancy online and have yet to look in the shops. I'm certain the selection will be just as slim and atrocious. :dohh: That's not even the best part, I get to watch everyone bring their LOs to the park as well.
> 
> Maybe I'll just stay in the corner, catching some rays, sneak a cig, and maybe even bring a flask of rum. :rofl:

OMG...I HATE friggin' swimsuit shopping! I'd almost rather have a root canal.

My rant for this evening:

IT'S TOO EFFIN HOT!!!!!!!!! It's not even July/August yet and it's upper 90s. I absolutely love living in the south, but I absolutely HATE southern heat. It's humid, sticky, and feels a hell of a lot hotter than what the thermometer says. This afternoon, at 4:00, I cut my car on to go home and the freakin' thermometer said 104 before it crawled down to a measly 97. :dohh:

Come ON November! That's when it finally cools down enough to where I start enjoying it. :haha: :haha: Although I will say that this past winter was more like an early spring. I think there were only a handful of days where the temps were in the 30s-40s.


----------



## NavyWife84

Army...I'm with you...was due today but she isn't here yet. My cycles vary from 32-37 days and I am on day 34 so I don't have my hopes up. Sore bbs and temp drop tell me she is on her way.
Just married- I had 2 hsgs within 3 months because the docs didn't think the docs that did the first one knew what they were doing...the first one didn't hurt at all but I really had to pee, which made it uncomfortable because I thought I was going to pee on them...lol. and they kept on saying one more picture...no, turn to your left...okay, one more...it seemed to go on forever. I almost asked them to stop so I could go! With that one they used the balloon to blow up my uterus, which was a little uncomfortable.
The second one I had hurt more but only for a minute...kind of like quick af cramps. I took ib profrin before, which the doc had advised me to do. I highly reccommend this. They also didn't blow up the balloon on the second one, which allowed them to look at my uterus while they were doing the procedure.
So, my advice would be to take a pain killer 30 min before and empty your bladder before they start!


----------



## wonderstars

Armywife84 said:


> I don't know about the rest of you bitter :mamafy:s :haha:, but I'm going to stay and rant, bitch, rave all I want in this forum. This is a forum made for US. Let's not let any of these other women (I'll stay classy on this one) drive us away.
> 
> I will NOT let anyone drive me off this forum, post any less, harass me, write rude choice words. This is MY PLACE. I put up with enough crap day in and out about IF of where I have to watch my tone, but I will NOT watch it in a place that is apparently a safe haven for LTTC.
> 
> Call me a bitch, jealous, rude, I prefer to be called bitter cow (it makes me laugh) all you want...I'm here to stay. :bodyb:
> 
> At the end of the day, we're a strong bunch. Let's not forget that. :flower:

I love your attitude!!!! This was a nice pick me up post. :mamafy:



Just_married said:


> If any of you leave.....you'll be denying the rest of us the support, love, laughter & unique kinmanship we have with you.
> 
> Yep, there it is, a great big wobbly guilt trip. How's it work for you?
> 
> Don't gooooo!!! Xxx

:rofl:

Dang you're good at guilt trips...your poor husband! :haha:

I think I am having a sad Father's Day hangover. I have not been in a good mood. Hate that I come to work and everyone talks about what the kids did for dad or how it was the first year that the baby (or fetus, ugh) could celebrate dad.

Gag me.


----------



## Armywife84

wonderstars said:


> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> I don't know about the rest of you bitter :mamafy:s :haha:, but I'm going to stay and rant, bitch, rave all I want in this forum. This is a forum made for US. Let's not let any of these other women (I'll stay classy on this one) drive us away.
> 
> I will NOT let anyone drive me off this forum, post any less, harass me, write rude choice words. This is MY PLACE. I put up with enough crap day in and out about IF of where I have to watch my tone, but I will NOT watch it in a place that is apparently a safe haven for LTTC.
> 
> Call me a bitch, jealous, rude, I prefer to be called bitter cow (it makes me laugh) all you want...I'm here to stay. :bodyb:
> 
> At the end of the day, we're a strong bunch. Let's not forget that. :flower:
> 
> I love your attitude!!!! This was a nice pick me up post. :mamafy:
> 
> 
> 
> Just_married said:
> 
> 
> If any of you leave.....you'll be denying the rest of us the support, love, laughter & unique kinmanship we have with you.
> 
> Yep, there it is, a great big wobbly guilt trip. How's it work for you?
> 
> Don't gooooo!!! XxxClick to expand...
> 
> :rofl:
> 
> Dang you're good at guilt trips...your poor husband! :haha:
> 
> I think I am having a sad Father's Day hangover. I have not been in a good mood. Hate that I come to work and everyone talks about what the kids did for dad or how it was the first year that the baby (or fetus, ugh) could celebrate dad.
> 
> Gag me.Click to expand...

Pffttt, that's when I roll my eyes and actually start doing work. :haha:


----------



## uwa_amanda

That's right about the time I shove my earbuds in and crank up some loud and obnoxious music. System of a Down anyone? :haha:


----------



## Just_married

Aaaaaaaand the ugly old which is here visiting again!

I'll do my best to chain the ugly old hag up so she doesn't get to your houses!


----------



## StephieB

Jackie just go au natural, that way you don't need to go bikini shopping and it should keep the littles ones away from you :haha:

JM - So your HSG is scheduled for next Wednesday? I had mine back in January and it really wasn't bad at all. Like Navy said best thing to do is pop a few ibuprofen before you go in. All I felt was a few AF cramps for about 3 minutes and thats about it. 

Although during my HSG, which involved a very attractive young doctor down by my 'area', it took them a grand total of 9 attempts and 3 different catheters to get into my cervix, apparently its a funny shape :shrug: but even then I felt very little pain and had just a tiny amount of spotting that day. Well enough to DTD the next morning :winkwink:


----------



## StephieB

Rant:

Suffering from serious ovary pain this morning, and ovulation *should* be due anytime, but did OPK and nada. Not even the faintest of faint second lines. Damn you clomid!! If you mess my insides up I will punch you in the face :growlmad:


----------



## rosebud_01_99

hi 

amanda i will swap you some southern heat for some irish rain lol ...:winkwink:

my rant for today is , after all my ivfs and medical treatments i finally decided to try accupunture and chinese herbs in january, when i started she said i woudl see results after 3mts as its slow to work i agreed and i was either having no af or one every 2 weeks, so after 5mts eventually my af came after 28day so she got me to start temping this cycle , so havent done this is over 12yrs but thought i may as well give it a go again,, so came to day 14/15 dh and i bm and i start to get a little hope up thinking mebay i mite be in with a shot, on day 17 i was out walking when felt a cramp got home and af had started with a vengence!!! i was so upset after 6mts of costly accupunture and herbs i was right back when i started af after 2 weeks,

so i contacted herbalist and told her we were stopping accupunture and herbs and saving towards our next fet instead, and she has the cheek to say i havent given it long enough as it takes time for it to work, i think half a yr is adequate time to expect impovement when i was told initially 3mts. it appears they are all the same and see IF as a chance to get as much money as they can from us, its the most costly disease in the world.

armywife have fun bikini shopping lol, at least u have the body for one, if i wore one small childern at the even would be mentally scarred for life :nope:

rosebud


----------



## uwa_amanda

rosebud_01_99 said:


> hi
> 
> amanda i will swap you some southern heat for some irish rain lol ...:winkwink:
> 
> my rant for today is , after all my ivfs and medical treatments i finally decided to try accupunture and chinese herbs in january, when i started she said i woudl see results after 3mts as its slow to work i agreed and i was either having no af or one every 2 weeks, so after 5mts eventually my af came after 28day so she got me to start temping this cycle , so havent done this is over 12yrs but thought i may as well give it a go again,, so came to day 14/15 dh and i bm and i start to get a little hope up thinking mebay i mite be in with a shot, on day 17 i was out walking when felt a cramp got home and af had started with a vengence!!! i was so upset after 6mts of costly accupunture and herbs i was right back when i started af after 2 weeks,
> 
> so i contacted herbalist and told her we were stopping accupunture and herbs and saving towards our next fet instead, and she has the cheek to say i havent given it long enough as it takes time for it to work, i think half a yr is adequate time to expect impovement when i was told initially 3mts. it appears they are all the same and see IF as a chance to get as much money as they can from us, its the most costly disease in the world.
> 
> armywife have fun bikini shopping lol, at least u have the body for one, if i wore one small childern at the even would be mentally scarred for life :nope:
> 
> rosebud

I'll take it! :haha:


----------



## uwa_amanda

I HATE ACNE!!!!! My face looks like it should belong on a 15 year old kid instead of a 29 year old woman. It wouldn't be so bad if it was one zit here or one zit there but DAMN. And they're painful as can be. :brat::brat::brat: And then I had a meltdown last night. My DH asked me if I felt like I needed to get back on antidepressants which really made me feel bad. Ended up crying myself to sleep because I just feel like shit all the way around.


----------



## smallstar

Awww Amanda :( I hate spots.....ive had really bad almost boil like spots appear randomly on my face neck head and back (nice image!!!) they are really sore and only really started having these since later part of last year, prior to that i have NEVER suffered from bad skin!!! WTF!!!?!? Plus my forehead has got loads of little pimply spots on it and my skin over all seems to be more greasy too!! Yuk!!!! :( 
Think its to do with my hormones (messed up at that!!) 
Also would like to point out that i do not look like Quasimodo despite my above description of myself lol :haha:
I know what you mean about feeling like a spotty teenager!!! Im 27 and feel 17!!!!

I suppose i should really embrace my new skin and use products relevant to my now skin type but i think im still in denial i have flawless skin lol :)

Sometimes my OH says really stupid stuff like that to me or says insensitive things that make me so angry and sad, but i think its because they dont always know the right thing to say and say things because they genuinely care.....
:hugs:
x


----------



## uwa_amanda

smallstar said:


> Awww Amanda :( I hate spots.....ive had really bad almost boil like spots appear randomly on my face neck head and back (nice image!!!) they are really sore and only really started having these since later part of last year, prior to that i have NEVER suffered from bad skin!!! WTF!!!?!? Plus my forehead has got loads of little pimply spots on it and my skin over all seems to be more greasy too!! Yuk!!!! :(
> Think its to do with my hormones (messed up at that!!)
> Also would like to point out that i do not look like Quasimodo despite my above description of myself lol :haha:
> I know what you mean about feeling like a spotty teenager!!! Im 27 and feel 17!!!!
> 
> I suppose i should really embrace my new skin and use products relevant to my now skin type but i think im still in denial i have flawless skin lol :)
> 
> Sometimes my OH says really stupid stuff like that to me or says insensitive things that make me so angry and sad, but i think its because they dont always know the right thing to say and say things because they genuinely care.....
> :hugs:
> x

It's got to be. I had nearly perfect skin when I was a teenager. I hardly got a zit unless it was time for AF.


----------



## BearsMummy

Hi Ladies,

I'm back again, had a mad few days, so didn't really get the chance to get on here.

I'm so glad everyone has decided to stay!! :thumbup:

Sooooo, after the week from hell, I have started smoking again. GRR!! I know some smug pregnant person will probably come and see this and tell me it's my own fault that I can't get pregnant if I'm smoking, but they can F OFF!!
Hopefuly it's just a blip and I can stop again tomorrow. :dohh:


----------



## BearsMummy

Oh, and I still haven't heard from the PCT.

But the week I've had, I'm too scared to chase it up in case it's more bad news.


----------



## smallstar

Awwww Karen dont beat yourself up about it!!!! 

I too have the odd sneaky ciggy now and then (not a regular smoker!!!) and i too used to think oh this month we havent fallen coz i had 5 puffs on a cig!!!! In reality, upon reflection this probably had absolutely NOTHING to do with it!!!! So please do not deny yourself something that with all the stress and hell you go through just makes you feel a little bit better even if its only for a couple of mins :) its got to be worth it for that at least!!!!

Im not condoning smoking just saying that sometimes denying yourself something like that can make this whole journey A LOT more stressful (if thats possible!!!) 

Just say if i fancy one ill have one...if your like me, if i try to convince myself ill have one today and not tomorrow ill want it even more tomorrow!!!! :blush:

I would chase it up....my PCT were useless and would often say oh sorry its not been sent yet, or the appointment hasnt been received from your docs...blah blah blah 
Might be the kick up the bum they need!!! But your choice at the end of the day good luck! :hugs: x


----------



## BearsMummy

I do feel really guilty about smoking, but then I try to justify it by telling myself that herion addicts can get pregnanct by looking at a man, so the odd ciggie won't hurt. I'm a walking contradiction!

I think I should chase it up, I really want to, not sure where i should start though? The clinic I was referred FROM? or the clinic I have been referred TO?


----------



## smallstar

BearsMummy said:


> I do feel really guilty about smoking, but then I try to justify it by telling myself that herion addicts can get pregnanct by looking at a man, so the odd ciggie won't hurt. I'm a walking contradiction!
> 
> I think I should chase it up, I really want to, not sure where i should start though? The clinic I was referred FROM? or the clinic I have been referred TO?

Exactly!!! I just remind myself of all the drug addicts and alcoholics who get pregnant and continue to drink and do drugs whilst pregnant!!!!

Its easier said than done saying dont feel guilty, if the shoe was on the other foot i would also be feeling guilty and people would be telling me not to!!! :) What we like eh!? :haha:

Erm.....personally i would call the clinic you have been referred to ...its more direct if that makes sense....otherwise if you chase the clinic you were referred FROM they may end up going round the houses and still make you contact the clinic referred TO directly anyway...pheww....i think that makes sense!?! :wacko:


----------



## BearsMummy

Yep, that made absolute sense.

Why am I dithering about this?


----------



## Just_married

BearsMummy said:


> Yep, that made absolute sense.
> 
> Why am I dithering about this?

Exactly! DO IT!! crossing everything for you! X


----------



## smallstar

Agree DO IT!!! Got everything crossed for you...best of luck!!:flower:


----------



## BearsMummy

I am sat with my contact open on my phone, every time I go to ring it, I bottle doing it! I feel like a 14 year old girl u'mming and a'hhing about whether to text a boy I fancy or not!


----------



## smallstar

Lol!!!! :) Your choice hun but you want to know either way dont you!?!? just bite the bullet and CALL THEM!!!! :) 

(Again...shoe on the other foot id be the same!!! :blush: )


----------



## StephieB

Just popping in very very quickly as I'm drowning in a pile of work but DO IT!!! :winkwink:


----------



## BearsMummy

I'm just getting a recorded message at the moment.

I feel so stupid, it took me all that time to pluck up the courage to ring, and then I couldn't even speak to anyone anyway!!

What a div!!


----------



## BearsMummy

OH MY GOD....

They haven't even received my referral.

Devastated. I'm going to have to go through the whole bloody procedure again.

:cry: :cry: :cry:


----------



## StephieB

Karen thats simple not good enough. :hugs: I can't believe they would think that is acceptable after everything you've gone through over the past 6 weeks. I'm so sorry. 

Heres a link to the Patient Advice Liason Service (PALS) for Berkshire, they deal with informal and formal complaints and will be able to let you know your rights with this. 

https://www.berkshirehealthcare.nhs.uk/page.asp?fldArea=4&fldMenu=3&fldSubMenu=0&fldKey=954

I have used PALS before when my old GP laughed us out of his office after we first sought help for infertility, and they were really helpful and personable and helped me reach a solution really quickly. 

:flower:


----------



## BearsMummy

Now I have had a cry and a scream and shout (thanks mummy) I am going to ring the hospital clinic that referred me.

Maybe it's because we haven't had a decision from the PCT.

Thanks for the link Steph, I'll see what the hospital say first.


----------



## StephieB

Good luck hun, thinking of you :flower:


----------



## BearsMummy

Just spoken to the secretary of my consultant who referred me, she's unable to find anything out today as it's so late, but will ring me back by lunchtime tomorrow.

I have a bad feeling about this, I really do.


----------



## smallstar

Oh Karen :( Im sorry....I really hope that she rings you tomorrow with some appropriate answers....but please in the mean time try and be strong and if she comes back with a load of crap and excuses simply do not stand for it!!!! You are a human being and should be treated appropriately especially with such a sensitive issue!!!! 

Grrrr makes me so angry for you reading this....i mean this is your future and they are so blasé about things...they can sometimes be so uninterested in your IF problems :( 

Really hope that tomorrow you get to the bottom of this and its in your favour i really do....

Will be thinking of you :flower:


----------



## StephieB

...and if they don't give you good news, we'll all club together and send them poo in the post :haha:


----------



## BearsMummy

I have such a bad feeling my fundings been declined.

The first person I spoke to went into my records and then said 'I'm sorry, I can not speak to you about this, you will have to speak to the secretary of your consultant' then put me through, so i was expecting a bad answer.

This limbo is worse than the original 9 week wait I've already had. 

Thank you all so much for being so supportive. I don't know what I'd do without you all.

:hugs:


----------



## Armywife84

Stephie- Oh my, I'd at least have to wear a sarong to cover up my cellulite. I hate that garb!! 

You know, I don't mind it when a fresh from med school, attractive doctor inspects my downstairs. And I usually hate getting it checked! :rofl:

Rosebud- Pffft, who is that herbalist to advise you on treatments?!! :growlmad:

Amanda, smallstar- I get adult acne too! It's quite annoying to be in your late 20s and have to deal with it. I find myself spending hundreds on face care, organic and regular acne strength. :wacko:

Karen- Don't feel bad for sneaking a cig. I've been thinking about it for the past 2 weeks. :shhh:

---Rants---

1. Eating dinner alone sucks. The only positive of DH being gone, is that there's hardly any laundry. I swear the man does 3 outfit changes in a day. :dohh:

2. AF is coming, so I'm feeling rather irritable and overly exhausted.


----------



## Just_married

Karen hope they don't make you wait too long. You need to be firm with them when you talk. Remember they are there to provide a service for YOU (not the other way round) and if they are failing then it's not good enough. You have the right to appeal whatever happens! 

Nhs, thank God for them, but very often logic and efficiency ate so bloody lacking. Even this week they have posted second class a prescription for urgent medicine to treat an infection?? I literally live across the road from the surgery, it would have taken 30 seconds to cross the road with it. Instead, it's now 9 days after I was tested and still no prescription.


----------



## BearsMummy

I need to comfort eat, but there is only healthy food in the house.

I'm thinking a lovely unhealthy Whopper with cheese for dinner tonight.

Whats happened to me? Drinking, smoking, takeaways......... DAMN YOU IF!!!!


----------



## Zfbaby

Hello ladies.
Having one of those days today where if seems to be the only thing I can think about. I'm cd10 and know I should be ovulatin anytime soon thanks to clomid but just can't get the motivation up to bd. I think it's the anticipation of worrying through my 2ww and then the eventual disappointment. I'm not usually like this and dh and I don't have a problem in that area just need to get past the feat of another failed month. Guess if I don't try I'll def be disappointed won't I. 
How do you ladies keep going every month? The fear is intense and so draining. 
Hugs to all.


----------



## Just_married

Anyone ever had a visual migraine. Had first experience of it today, it happened twice, actually thought I was going blind. Melodrama I know, but I just panicked!


----------



## StephieB

Zfbaby - For me every month brings different emotions, for the past 5-6months I've felt similar too you, under pressure to BD, dreading the TWW, overwhelmed and a little bit lost, but this month I don't feel so stressed about the whole thing. I'm on CD 13 and ovulation for me is just around the corner, intact it should be happening already, but for some reason Clomid has screwed me up so it's a waiting game, this is the part I hate. As silly as it sounds, I genuinely believe you ladies have helped me to realise that having a month to myself isn't the end of the world, and it's OK to not BD if I don't feel like it :hugs: You know where we are if you need us?

JM - I've never had one but I googled it to see what it was and they it sounds terrifying!! I don't know what I'd do! What happened? Do you know what caused it? Hope you're OK :hugs:


----------



## Armywife84

Just_married said:


> Anyone ever had a visual migraine. Had first experience of it today, it happened twice, actually thought I was going blind. Melodrama I know, but I just panicked!

Whenever I get those, I start to black out. It's so extreme, that I have to lie down and take a Vicodin. 

---More Rants---

1. DH decided to ring his father the other day. I don't know why he didn't wait till we got home so I wouldn't hear the conversation. Basically, his father dragged on and on about SIL (I loathe) and her new baby. The baby had a christening in which we couldn't attend (damn :haha:) and SIL had to go to the hospital due to extreme pain she was experiencing. She's so dramatic and attention grabbing. If it's not one thing, it's another with her. I'm sure it had something to do with getting pissed the night prior. She's always quick to dump her brood onto the in-laws when they visit. :growlmad:

2. I cannot stand micromanaging. 

3. I also despise my job and everyone who I work with. To be fair not everyone, but close enough. Not long until I can quit and go back to uni. :happydance:


----------



## Zfbaby

Just_married said:


> Anyone ever had a visual migraine. Had first experience of it today, it happened twice, actually thought I was going blind. Melodrama I know, but I just panicked!

I think this is possibly what I had whilst on this months clomid?? I had visual disturbances a few times during cd2-6. Sometimes with a splitting headache sometimes without. Was it like flashing lights, echo images and blind spots? If so yeah I've had that and now I've stopped taking clomid this month it's gone completely. Hope that helps. :) 

Steph- thanks! I did decide not to bd yesterday as I was really tired after being t work all day and then rushing around cooking, cleaning etc as is normal for us I guess. I did feel a little guilty about until I read your response. Sometimes, as the one with the if problem ie the one who can't make dh a baby I feel like the pressure is on me to fix it. 
I'm the one charting, taking pills, getting prodded and poked etc. I would never admit it to dh but sometimes I resent that I'm the one doing all the hard work and stress and he just has to bd!!! It sometimes puts me off. It's probably all in my head and he worries as much as me but he's not the type to talk about it. :( 
What a stressful lonely road if can be. So glad I've found this thread. I like to come on here even without a specific vent as I know you ladies will understand the need for sympathetic company.


----------



## smallstar

Just_married said:


> Anyone ever had a visual migraine. Had first experience of it today, it happened twice, actually thought I was going blind. Melodrama I know, but I just panicked!

Yes!!!! Ive not heard of anyone else i know having one!!! When i told people about it they just thought i was mad and lying!!! Lol! :)

Had one last summer, remember it so well, was early morning just sat down to eat breakfast and then my left eye kept blurring and then it went like what i can only describe as a tunnel (something out of like Donnie Darko!!!) and my vision was like going!!!! I honestly thought i was going blind!!!! I was jumping about screaming and my OH just looked at me like i was totally nuts!! It lasted about 15mins and then was fine!!! But i had tremendous headache after though for a good few hours!!! Not nice!!!


----------



## BearsMummy

I had visual migraines / disturbances on my last clomid dose, they are quite scarey!

I had my junk food feast last night, double whooper with cheese and onion rings from BK!

I cannot stop crying today though, I still haven't heard from the secretary and I don't really want to ring until later this afternoon, as an ex NHS employee, I know how frustrating it can be to be nagged.
But I'm getting myself in such a state, maybe she's not ringing me back because she doesn't want to give me that bad news? I am way way overthinking and over analysing this, I just don't know what to do with myself.
I got a grand total of 2 hours sleep last night.

Also my friend who is a midwife has told me to go and get a blood test done for coeliacs disease, do any of you have this or have had the test done?
When I looked on Wiki, it describes me down to the letter!! So I'm thinking about starting a gluten free diet anyway to see if things improve.

Ahh, I seem to have gone on one of my paranoid rants!! 

How is everyone else today?


----------



## StephieB

Karen massive :hugs: to you. I would be exactly the same in your situation so I'm not going to preach and tell you to relax, because I know it's impossible. 

Good choice of tea last night, we were also naughty, and decided we were lazy arses so had a macdonalds :nope: not good for the diet!! 

My grandma had coeliacs, although I don't remember too much about it. I know she often was quite poorly, then they realised it was coeliacs and she changed her diet and very rarely got ill after that. I always remember we were'nt allowed to eat nanas 'special bread' :haha:

Vant: 

How many times, no BFP announcments in LTTTC :growlmad: I've seen three in the past 5 minutes!!!!! ](*,) loosing the will to live!

Edit: VANT?! Thats either a mixture of rant and vent, or my inner vampire saying "rant" :haha:


----------



## BearsMummy

I like VANT! Thats the new rant/vent word!!

Now I'm getting pissed off with this whole situation!! 

More bfp announcements? this is getting seriously stupid! I honestly think they are doing it on purpose now!! Or is it like when you buy a new car, and suddenly everyone is driving the same car, now that we have picked up on bloody bfp announcemnts?


----------



## BearsMummy

Uh oh Steph, now your being stalked!!! LOL!!


----------



## StephieB

haha I like the analogy! I think it might be, I'm feeling overly sensitive today for some reason. Got a scratchy throat and a blinding headache and can't be arsed to do much, but have to move house tomorrow :dohh:

Then to top it off, my OPKs have gone from not showing a second line at all yesterday, to being positive today, while DH is working until 9pm and then we have a whole house to finish packing up and a family meal to attend, so no :sex: for us. Waste of a cycle of Clomid!! Unless I send my DH to the bathroom with a softcup at some point during the meal :haha:


----------



## StephieB

> Uh oh Steph, now your being stalked!!! LOL!!

???? If its not by Bradley Cooper I'm not interested :winkwink:


----------



## BearsMummy

I would defo send him to the bathroom with a softcup!! :winkwink:

Leave the unpacking, unless its anything you really need! 

Hope you feel better soon!! :kiss:


----------



## smallstar

Ditto ladies....we had a Chinese take away last night....sooooo naughty but so yummy! :blush:

Karen i think if i were in your shoes id be going out of my mind too and getting upset....but i think you should maybe chase her up!??...sometimes they do have 100 things to do and it might have just slipped her mind to call you!!!

Sorry youre gong through this sucks so much!!! :hugs:


----------



## BearsMummy

I was thinking of ringing about 3pm.

I get so nervous and worry that she's going to be angry with me for nagging!!


----------



## BearsMummy

Oh and annoyed that I have been unfriended on fb by a newly pregnant cow.

Suppose it saves me the job of unfriending her!


----------



## smallstar

You wont be nagging you are just doing what anyone in your place would be doing the secretary included!!! 

Dont be annoyed about the unfriending on fb....like you said saves you a job of doing later on!!! 

x


----------



## NavyWife84

I'm with you ladies on the indulging. My vice was crabs yesterday. They are very high in cholesterol and mercury, so very bad for pregnancy/fertility. I just don't even care anymore. I have also had more alcohol this cycle. I don't know why we kill ourselves changing diet and life style to get that bfp when everyone else gets theirs while doing all the bad stuff. I'm tired of denying myself of my favorite things when I know I'm not going to get a bfp anyway!

Karen...I'm sorry they are putting you through this. I wish I could call for you!

Visual migraines sound super scary! You guys make me afraid to drive while on clomid. I have been fortunate enough to only have the hot flashes and mood swings on clomid. Hopefully cycle 5 on it won't bring something different!

My vant (hehe):
I would like to know wtf is up with my body! I am on cd36 and my temps dropped 3 days ago. My longest cycle ever has been 37 days and I always have af the day (or sometimes two) after my temp drops. My boobs have veen sore for a week now (normal before af) and my stomach is sore to the touch (at this point I don't know if this is normal or still the effect of my 75 pound dog jumping on my stomach over a week ago). So anyway, all signs point to af, so where is she? Just come and put me in and then out of my misery already! 

I'm also mad at myself for getting my hopes up a lot this cycle. 1. I was feeling positive 11dpo so I took a hpt (the first one I have done in over a year as I am totally anti testing) of course it was bfn. But then I convinced myself that I could still get a bfp because 11dpo is still very early. Then this morning while I was waiting for my thermometer to beep, I kept saying (in my head) "please have my temps go back up" and wouldn't you know they did. So I got really excited but realized the beep sounded different this time. Then I used my less reliable thermometer and that temp was high, but different from the first. So I waited a few minutes and took my temp a couple more times and it was low again with a normal beep. I was so stupid to be so excited for the few minutes my temps went up. This if is making me go completely insane!!!


----------



## Just_married

BearsMummy said:


> I had visual migraines / disturbances on my last clomid dose, they are quite scarey!
> 
> I had my junk food feast last night, double whooper with cheese and onion rings from BK!
> 
> I cannot stop crying today though, I still haven't heard from the secretary and I don't really want to ring until later this afternoon, as an ex NHS employee, I know how frustrating it can be to be nagged.
> But I'm getting myself in such a state, maybe she's not ringing me back because she doesn't want to give me that bad news? I am way way overthinking and over analysing this, I just don't know what to do with myself.
> I got a grand total of 2 hours sleep last night.
> 
> Also my friend who is a midwife has told me to go and get a blood test done for coeliacs disease, do any of you have this or have had the test done?
> When I looked on Wiki, it describes me down to the letter!! So I'm thinking about starting a gluten free diet anyway to see if things improve.
> 
> Ahh, I seem to have gone on one of my paranoid rants!!
> 
> How is everyone else today?

I have coeliacs my dear. Diagnosed at age 2. Whenever I stray off my diet I get either wham! Stomach cramps/bloating/diarrhoea or I get a silent response where I slowly go anemic & catch every thing going.

If you are going to get tested DONT go on Gf diet as the tests will only find a reaction if you eat gluten. The first step is two antibody tests which normally show up in your bliss, very cheap tests in general. The antibody test can give false results tho, so if it comes back negative and you still think you have it then try going gluten free to see if it helps. If it does, tell your doc.

When I was diagnosed in 1974 the docs said 1:200 people had it and my mum had to cook/bake from scratch. Now they believe as many as 1:20 have it and I can find a gf replacement for just about anything at the supermarket.

Good luck, it's worth finding out if it is as it's very unpleasant to have it untreated xxx


----------



## Armywife84

Karen- I vote for ringing her! 

Stephie- Bradley Cooper, eh? Delish :-=. I've always had a soft spot for Ryan Gosling. :cloud9: 

Btw, is that your wedding photo? You look so elegant and I'm loving the headband. :thumbup: My dress was incredibly busy with lace, a sash around my waist, and tulle trim around the sweetheart neckline. Hell, the only thing it was missing was some bedazzle. :rofl::rofl:

Vants:

1. I would go for some Maccy's right now, but I just had to choke down a diet meal. :sick:

2. It just dawned on me that AF will be present when I go bikini shopping. Feck. :dohh::dohh::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:


----------



## NavyWife84

Well...I knew the dumb b*tch was playing games with me...just started spotting...:cry:
I guess it is a good thing that I didn't buy a hpt this morning. And, I will be enjoying my leftover CRABS and will drop some RUM in my CAFFINATED coke!!!:happydance: (Is it sad I will be doing this all alone as my dh works until midnight tonight?):haha:


----------



## NavyWife84

Armywife84 said:


> 2. It just dawned on me that AF will be present when I go bikini shopping. Feck. :dohh::dohh::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:

Ugh...who invited her? She doesn't belong on your bikini shopping trip!:growlmad:


----------



## uwa_amanda

My AF cramps are messing with me today. Come on AF...need it to be early the next couple of months! :haha: Don't wanna be visited by that heifer while I am on vacation in August.


----------



## Armywife84

NavyWife84 said:


> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> 2. It just dawned on me that AF will be present when I go bikini shopping. Feck. :dohh::dohh::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:
> 
> Ugh...who invited her? She doesn't belong on your bikini shopping trip!:growlmad:Click to expand...

:rofl: That bitch is never welcome anywhere. 

I'm so envious of everyone's carb binge. I want to go on a carb rampage!! :brat: But noooo, it's a salad for tonight's dinner. [-X

One more vant.....I have to go spray tanning, so I don't look like Casper in my swimming suit. Not looking forward to it.


----------



## NavyWife84

Armywife84 said:


> NavyWife84 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Armywife84 said:
> 
> 
> 2. It just dawned on me that AF will be present when I go bikini shopping. Feck. :dohh::dohh::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:
> 
> Ugh...who invited her? She doesn't belong on your bikini shopping trip!:growlmad:Click to expand...
> 
> :rofl: That bitch is never welcome anywhere.
> 
> I'm so envious of everyone's carb binge. I want to go on a carb rampage!! :brat: But noooo, it's a salad for tonight's dinner. [-XClick to expand...

C'mon over! I could use some company! Oh, how I wish I really could invite you ladies over. We would have such a great time being infertile cows!!!:haha:


----------



## Just_married

Total rant from me. Received a phone call from one upset gp today? Why was she upset? Because I wrote a complaint about the way her employees treated me this week and no, she didn't ring to apologise, she actually complained that inshould have tried to phone her because now she has to go through the full complaints procedure and do a self evaluation to improve her 'system' and it's such a lot of work.

Well. You can imagine my reply! I explained she, the doctor, is there to assist me. My letter was very simple. I came to you feeling I'll. You tested me for an infection 9 days ago. I called when you asked 6 days later to be told I hadn't given them a current number and as my test had indicated an infection then I should be getting antibiotics. What I don't understand is that after suffering from this infection for over 6 days you decide to dictate a letter to me about it and get your employees to post it the next day second class? And when I called the surgery and offered to collect it you told them to say it was posted already. So 9 days after testing positive for an infection I still haven't received medicine & when I call to explain I'm stressed I am told 'you can wait one more day for it, it should come tomorrow. The fact that I should be expected to wait 10 days for treatment for an infection is bad enough. But when I'm trying for a baby and I worry that it's damaging my insides it's worse. And when I'm booked into hospital for an examination into my womb, Fallopian tubes and ovaries in 6 days time being told I will need to postpone it again due to an infection?. Oh, and while I'm at it, I gave your receptionist all my new phone numbers an adresses when I moved 10 months ago and it doesn't surprise me that they didn't change it, because they also didn't change my daughters details and posted a confidential letter out to a complete stranger at our old house. 

I am so unhappy with her response that I'm def complaining higher. I'm speechless that she thinks I'm in the wrong to complain. All I wanted was the medicine to treat me like any nhs patient is entitled to. Even if shed phoned and been humble and genuinely apologised I would have let it go. 

And it's not like she's flippin gettin paid minimum wage for it either! Pull your weight you crabby, rude, useless quack!


----------



## uwa_amanda

She's got some nerve to call you wailing into you about your complaint of her not doing her job. I would have probably been a LOT more upset and probably would have cussed her out. *Damn...PMS is working on me today! :haha:*


----------



## Just_married

uwa_amanda said:


> She's got some nerve to call you wailing into you about your complaint of her not doing her job. I would have probably been a LOT more upset and probably would have cussed her out. *Damn...PMS is working on me today! :haha:*

Lol yeah, I'm pms out my head today too! Cd2, went in a sulk because I had to go out to buy onions for dinner, came back with onions & family sized cheese puffs & chocolate. Dh said 'did u get me any'. I replied 'no, I didn't realise you were on your period too'. To which he spun round and shrieked 'WELL YOU WERE WRONG THEN!!!' haha. Daft man makes me laugh!


----------



## sweetmere

I went to the infertility doc. yesterday, and he said I look healthy but that he definitely wants to do blood work on my thyroid and hormones. He also gave me a booklet on infertility. I go to work and the 2 rude girls there act like I'm stupid (one is pregnant and let's just say we don't get along because it's all for show, and she does things on purpose to piss me off). One of them asks how it went and I told them. She says "I'm sure you're fine" (why ask if you're going to answer like that) and the pregnant one says "I'm sure the bloodwork will be fine and then you can finally relax and just let it happen"...then they eye my infertility booklet like I'm some kind of dummy. I swear they both do not understand that getting pregnant is not easy for everyone. I tell my brother about all the rude things they say to me and how they act, and he put it this way:

"I swear it's like they think you're purposely preventing your own pregnancy." Exactly. It's more like, my BODY is preventing my pregnancy. It's not my fault everyone else they know is super fertile. At this point, with their dumb comments, I can't wait to get my bloodwork back and rub it in their faces, because I *know* I have a thyroid problem.


----------



## Armywife84

Sweetmere- I love it when fertile :mamafy:s try to advise me on IF. :dohh: I just sit there sniggering at their "advice". 

One more Rant:

-I caved and had Maccy's for dinner tonight. :dohh: My excuse is the rest of you were indulging in carbs/fatty foods, and I felt pressured to follow suit. :rofl::rofl:


----------



## wonderstars

I love all this enabling to have unhealthy stuff! Thanks to you ladies I've decided on Sushi and wine for tomorrow's dinner. It's my last cycle before the fertility doc and I'm enjoying it baby. :thumbup:

Also, the entire world is pregnant.

The end.


----------



## StephieB

Well, I think we've all learnt not to piss JM off :haha: Hope you get it all sorted out, stupid GP!

Jackie - Oh yes, I loves me a bit of Bradley Cooper. Now if I could make me a sandwich with Bradley Cooper on top, Robert Downey Jnr on the bottom and me in the middle, I think my eggs would be jumping around to be fertilised! :haha:

Ahh thank you, yes its from my wedding day. We had a 50's themed day, so I was in a marilyn Monroe inspired dress with 4 petticoats underneath, and all of my bridesmaids were in black and white polka dot dresses with red petticoats, and my DH wore converse. I loved it, MIL HATED it :haha:

Sweetmere - Its like me advising someone in a wheelchair if they've tried physio?! I just don't understand the mentality of someone given advice to a woman going through something they can't comprehend :dohh:

Wonderstars that sounds like an amazing dinner! Can I join? I LOVE sushi! Well I can't say I was any better last night...homemade burgers :blush: then when I get on the scales and it says I've put pounds on, I act all shocked :haha:

My bit:

Well yesterday was O day, out of nowhere thanks to Clomid, and we are moving house so had a mountain of packing to do, then had a family meal to go to as our 'leaving party' (we're only 45 mins down the road! :shrug:) anyway, I wasn't willing to loose a cycle of clomid because I was busy making polite conversation with DHs grandma over some roast potatoes!! 

So half way through the meal I decided to throw my glass of wine over DHs lap, went upstairs to help him clean off and took my soft cup with me. We broke the sink....:blush:


----------



## StephieB

I found my avatar picture this morning and had to change it, and just thought it was perfect to explain 'Us' :hugs:


----------



## beegray

StephieB said:


> Well, I think we've all learnt not to piss JM off :haha: Hope you get it all sorted out, stupid GP!
> 
> Jackie - Oh yes, I loves me a bit of Bradley Cooper. Now if I could make me a sandwich with Bradley Cooper on top, Robert Downey Jnr on the bottom and me in the middle, I think my eggs would be jumping around to be fertilised! :haha:
> 
> Ahh thank you, yes its from my wedding day. We had a 50's themed day, so I was in a marilyn Monroe inspired dress with 4 petticoats underneath, and all of my bridesmaids were in black and white polka dot dresses with red petticoats, and my DH wore converse. I loved it, MIL HATED it :haha:
> 
> Sweetmere - Its like me advising someone in a wheelchair if they've tried physio?! I just don't understand the mentality of someone given advice to a woman going through something they can't comprehend :dohh:
> 
> Wonderstars that sounds like an amazing dinner! Can I join? I LOVE sushi! Well I can't say I was any better last night...homemade burgers :blush: then when I get on the scales and it says I've put pounds on, I act all shocked :haha:
> 
> My bit:
> 
> Well yesterday was O day, out of nowhere thanks to Clomid, and we are moving house so had a mountain of packing to do, then had a family meal to go to as our 'leaving party' (we're only 45 mins down the road! :shrug:) anyway, I wasn't willing to loose a cycle of clomid because I was busy making polite conversation with DHs grandma over some roast potatoes!!
> 
> So half way through the meal I decided to throw my glass of wine over DHs lap, went upstairs to help him clean off and took my soft cup with me. We broke the sink....:blush:

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! OMW!!! DH isn't brave enough to do that anywhere but home:haha: 

My rant, well AF is now well over a week later, mefomin was working beautifully up untill now. Had two stinking tests that came up with a second line (only saw them later after using them) and then got my damn hopes and and well.... you guessed it, tested this morning and a big fat :bfn: so freaking pissed off!!!!!! But on the better side me favourite band is finally coming to South Africa, only problem they here for one night and only on the one side of the country!!!!!!!:dohh:


----------



## Just_married

StephieB said:


> Well, I think we've all learnt not to piss JM off :haha: Hope you get it all sorted!
> 
> Well yesterday was O day, out of nowhere thanks to Clomid, and we are moving house so had a mountain of packing to do, then had a family meal to go to as our 'leaving party' (we're only 45 mins down the road! :shrug:) anyway, I wasn't willing to loose a cycle of clomid because I was busy making polite conversation with DHs grandma over some roast potatoes!!
> 
> So half way through the meal I decided to throw my glass of wine over DHs lap, went upstairs to help him clean off and took my soft cup with me. We broke the sink....:blush:

You really made me smile with that this morning! Lol! Well done you!!

Afm, think I better stand down from venting duty and give you all a chance to bow at the altar of the golden (bitter) cow. I've been awfully greedy hogging all the venting air this week!

Got my prescription, my chocolate, my cheese puffs and it's pouring here, so duvet day with DVD it is.


----------



## BearsMummy

Thanks for the advice JM, I couldn't believe it when I looked up coeliacs and some of the symptoms were unexplained IF/recurrent miscarriage.
It also says that growth problems in children are a common symptom, and seeing as I'm a whopping 4ft 9ins, I'd say I have a growth problem!
Headaches, depression, anaemia, folic acid and B-vit malabsorption and mouth ulcers are just a few of the others symptoms that ring true with me, without going into the obvious intestinal problems associated with it.
Did you know you can receive a certain amount of food on prescription? But if you pay for your prescriptions, I suppose this could work out pretty expensive compared to just going to the shop and buying GF foods?

That's just awful how that doctor treated you! I wouldn't let that drop now. Stupid bitch! 
We are not having much luck with the NHS/medical world recently are we?

I was up again all night, and finished Fifty Shades Of Grey so now I have to go out and get the second today, the books are as addictive as Mr. Grey is to Anastasia!!

I did manage to speak to someone yesterday eventually, after being told she wasn't there, and a major hissy/crying/screaming fit (thanks Steph for being there and talking me down!) but I still have no answers.
She was supposed to have rung me back today at 11am, but no surprises, she hasn't. She had no idea what was going on, so had to speak to my consultant this morning, I really don't know what else the consultant could tell her that shouldn't already be on my medical notes?

I have an awful feeling, my paperwork has gone 'missing'. No one seems to know anything about anything. And if it has gone missing and the PCT have never received my application, I am going to have to wait for another appointment with the Consultant to fill in the paperwork again and then wait another 8/10 weeks for the PCT to make their decision.

I'm not feeling as down about this as I was yesterday, but feel cheated out of a potential 9 weeks of treatment.


----------



## Just_married

Bears!! Goodness sake! What on earth are these people getting paid for! I think you might need to threaten with a complaint too! 9 weeks is long enough, what a bunch of inept idiots!

Yeah, fortunately for me, being diagnosed means food on prescription & in Scotland we all get free prescriptions at the mo. But I also got diagnosed with hypothyroidism at 17 & apply for an exemption every year anyway as that's a qualifying condition. Lucky me lol.


----------



## BearsMummy

I have a pre-payment card for 12 months, which would possibly help with that!
And I have just found out, my maternal aunt has it. Not sure if its hereditary or not though?
She has just told me, she even has to buy 'special' gravy! 

Are you going to take your complaint any further?

I have no idea how to handle this today? I shall probably ring again this afternoon. There is absolutely NO WAY I can wait all weekend with no answers! Just knowing one way or the other is enough for me now.

I'm sorry to sound like a broken record ladies.


----------



## StephieB

> I did manage to speak to someone yesterday eventually, after being told she wasn't there, and a major hissy/crying/screaming fit (thanks Steph for being there and talking me down!) but I still have no answers.

Always here hun, you know where I am whenever you need to scream an shout (On the other end of the blackberry) :hugs: 

I can't believe they haven't rung you back. I would't even wait to hear from them to start the complaints process, at the end of the day you've held up your end of the deal and done everything you possibly can, you've been patient, you've waited and they are the ones that have messed it all up at their end (Not surprising with the NHS really:growlmad:) so even if she does get back to you and give you an answer, they've still put you through a week of hell, sleepless nights and upset that isn't fair! Like you said to me yesterday 9 weeks is a long time to sit around and wait when the clock is ticking for IVF etc... 

We're in the techno-era, they have phones, emails, texts even a good old fashioned pen and paper, there is absolutely no excuse for leaving you in the dark this long, it's just not fair on you and Bongo, because essentially you're having to put your lives on hold for this!

As you can tell I am angry for you! I also love writing a good complaint letter :winkwink:



> You really made me smile with that this morning! Lol! Well done you!!

I've never been so embarrassed in my life. The sink came off the wall (only slightly) but the pipe disconnected so there was water everywhere, family came running upstairs, I'm trying to use my soft cup with the speed of a thousand winds, DH is trying to get his now soaking wet jeans up before they burst into the bathroom! We tried to make out that he couldn't get his jeans off to clean so used the sink to rest on, but I'm not entirely sure we were convincing :dohh:


----------



## BearsMummy

Aww, thanks Steph! 
I suppose I just have to be patient and see what today brings?

Why do you always do or say the funniest things when I'm drinking coffee?? You really are bfp/ttc police! Now it is all down my shirt!! 
I would have died if that was me! But I think I'm a bit old for 'risky' sex these days!! I feel too old for sex full stop!!

Has your classy porn arrived yet?


----------



## StephieB

Officer Briggs, protecting the right to procreate nationwide :bodyb:

No classy porn yet unfortunately, which is a shame as I have the house to myself for a few hours today :winkwink: You're never too old for sex, as long as lube exists I'll be embarrassing my Grandchildren (hopefully) Whats even worse is this morning i've gotten my first ever 2nd +OPK, so we probably would have been OK without destroying the bathroom. But now we have to BD today as well :sad2:

Id give them to the end of business today and no longer missus!! this is my inner teacher coming out! 

Glad your feeling a bit better about the whole thing today, sometimes I think a good scream and cry always makes things better.


----------



## BearsMummy

Just the thought of Fifty Shades Of Grey talking book, narrated by Stephen Fry is keeping me going!! 

I haven't laughed like that for soooooo long!!


----------



## StephieB

:rofl: He was the first person to pop into my head because he narrates everything! Don't exactly quiver at the knees when i hear him speak though :haha:


----------



## BearsMummy

That actually made my day yesterday, and I kept giggling to myself at random times, when i tried to explain to Bongo, he just didn't get it. Men!!! :dohh:

I have a plan of action.

I shall ring the forgetful secretary at 2pm. If I still haven't heard anything by end of play today, I am going to contact PALS (although I have already tried, they must be at lunch)

I also have a contact number and email for the manager at the Individual Funding Office at the PCT and I am going to make a request to them to see if they have ever received my application.

It doesn't look like the forgetful secretary is really pushing to get some answers, so i shall have to do it all myself.

Im getting the feeling, she's not telling me something............... :growlmad:


----------



## BearsMummy

I have been trying to ring continuously since 2pm, no answer, no voicemail.

I have managed to get a copy of the PCT Funding Guidelines and I certainly have many questions now.

If the PCT received my application, then the clinic should have got a receipt, so I shall ask if they did indeed receive any form of receipt.

Also the PCT turnaround times is meeting every MONTH, not every 6 weeks, and they have to response to the clinic and patient within 3 days of their decision. That should have been by 21st May.

WHERE THE HELL IS MY PAPERWORK??

Time to ring PALS.


----------



## uwa_amanda

I hope everything works out for you. It seems frustrating to say the least. :hugs:


----------



## BearsMummy

Absolutley GUTTED.

Managed to speak to someone at the PCT funding office and they have never received an application for my funding.

She also decided to tell me I don't fit the criteria.

:cry: :cry: :cry:


----------



## Just_married

Bears, 2 words, complain! And appeal (if they knock you back officially).

What a bunch of bleeping bleeps!


----------



## BearsMummy

I managed to get my head together enough to ring PALS, the woman there was GREAT!! She let me have a good cry and made all the right soothing noises! Bless her, i bet she thought she was dealing with a mental health patient!

She agrees that it sounds like this forgetful secretary has been fobbing me off all week. And looks like she has been covering her own arse because she knows someone has FUCKED UP BIG TIME!!
She is going to chase up all my paperwork for me and deal with the complaints side of things for me. She is an angel, I could kiss her!

She also said that the girl at the PCT should NEVER have said I do not fit the criteria, the whole point of the application is for someone high up to decide if I should have funding, not some girl in the office! If it was that easy, why would I need to send an application?

So my guardian angel as Pauline at PALS shall now be known as, will be dealing with it from now on.

I have a big fat, puffy, wet, soggy, snotty face from all the crying.
I am going to get very very drunk tonight and probably smoke myself silly, but I dont really care at this precice moment in time. I just need to forget.


----------



## BearsMummy

I suppose I should change my siggie to something really sarcastic about the application not being sent in the end, but I just can't think of anything witty enough!

Suggestions welcome!!


----------



## Just_married

Thank God for Pauline. I'm so very glad she has given you clarity and is sorting out the pile of poop the secretary left. People ate paid to do a job and they are there to serve you, so often we are left feeling like they are doing us a favour.


----------



## uwa_amanda

Stephie, I just read your blog entry from yesterday. I am sitting in my car on my lunch hour sobbing my eyeballs out because what you said is so damn true. You definitely have a way with words and explaining how you are feeling. I think you need to write a book. 

Girls, I am having a rough day as my EFFIN hormones are all jacked up today. I am sitting in my car on my lunch hour people watching. They probably think I'm some crazy woman sitting in my car crying for what appears to be no apparent reason. We aren't even trying anymore and it still sucks. DH and I decided we are going to try again at the first of the year. I hate IF so bad.


----------



## uwa_amanda

Well...AF started for me four days early. I'm guessing everyone else on here is to blame for starting theirs? :rofl: :haha:

No rant this time but a little celebration is in order because...

IT'S THE WEEKEND!!!!!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance:


----------



## rosebud_01_99

ggggggrrrrr my rant just noticed

someone has seen fit to reopen the infertile people are annoying thread and the following words of wisdom were written on it earlier.

"I do think that its not fair to feel anger towards a pregnant woman. even secret unspoken anger, it is damaging for everyone. I struggled with intense jelousy when ttc but i never thought bad thoughts about the unborn child or mum to be, just anger at my own body and my own situation. I do think that thos lttc should be happy for pregnant women as being angry/upset wont actually change anything. I feel deep shame about choosing to avoid some of my pregnant friends. now i am experiencing pregnancy with all its amazing and hard times i know how much they needed me as a friend"

god give me strength, this board is becoming such a joke right now with all the pg do gooders posting with all their sunshine and flowers. lol

rosebud


----------



## Armywife84

Karen- Fantastic! I'm so glad that someone in NHS has their head screwed on properly!! This calls for massive celebration, drinks, cigs, cheesy puffs, and carbs galore! 

Amanda- I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe DH will get broody and change his mind. :hugs: However, it IS the weekend, AF is here, so I believe you're in the green to drink a little booze! :drunk:

Rosebud- Meh, of course they're all Positive Patricias when they're pregnant. Never mind the Pessimistic Penelopes they once were. :dohh: Don't even bat an eye, hun. We're much better than that. And will continue being Bitter Bessies :mamafy: all we please. 

Rant:

I had this HORRID nightmare last night. Apparently, I was pregnant and was all pleased about having his baby. At one point when I went to the latrine, I started to miscarry. I could feel the bits of my unborn child splashing into the toilet. :cry::cry: All I did was sit on the toilet sobbing that I lost my baby. It was awful!!


----------



## uwa_amanda

Armywife84 said:


> Karen- Fantastic! I'm so glad that someone in NHS has their head screwed on properly!! This calls for massive celebration, drinks, cigs, cheesy puffs, and carbs galore!
> 
> Amanda- I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe DH will get broody and change his mind. :hugs: However, it IS the weekend, AF is here, so I believe you're in the green to drink a little booze! :drunk:
> 
> Rosebud- Meh, of course they're all Positive Patricias when they're pregnant. Never mind the Pessimistic Penelopes they once were. :dohh: Don't even bat an eye, hun. We're much better than that. And will continue being Bitter Bessies :mamafy: all we please.
> 
> Rant:
> 
> I had this HORRID nightmare last night. Apparently, I was pregnant and was all pleased about having his baby. At one point when I went to the latrine, I started to miscarry. I could feel the bits of my unborn child splashing into the toilet. :cry::cry: All I did was sit on the toilet sobbing that I lost my baby. It was awful!!

I agreed with DH :thumbup:. We're not trying but not preventing until January. Our FSA starts over and we'll have more funds on it for him to have himself checked again to be sure nothing's wrong. We're going to do this on our own with my medical insurance through my work instead of relying on the VA to help us. DH's a disabled veteran and can't work, so he was honorably discharged from the military due to medical. They probably wouldn't pay for it anyway, so he might as well go to whatever doctor he chooses to rather than the @$$hole finger:) they sent him to a while back. After all that in April, and my doctor's appt in May, I finally said that I've had it for a while. The clomid was really getting to me and we just needed to step away from it for a while. I think for my sanity, it's been okay. :thumbup:

That dream sounds terrible! I had vivid dreams when I was on clomid that involved things like that happening to my baby, but nothing like that. :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## karenh

My husband and I have been ttc for five years. My little sister gets married in december and is pregnant in five months. NOT FAIR! She isn't even that excited. She will be 11 weeks Sunday and she hasn't even gone to the doc yet.


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## Zfbaby

Hi all, not been about much lat couple of days due I work but I'm back and ready to vent!!!
My rant of the day is I HATE OPKs!!!! I used them almost every day at one point for well over a year (before clomid) and only got 1 positive result. I stopped using them to try and keep my sanity but now that I've been taking clomid for 12 months with varying results my if dr said "use them again you will ov between cd11-16 ( as is normal for clomid) and you'll get a positive" I was skeptical but thought I'd follow her. Well I've got news for you lady, it's day 15 an nada!!!!!!!!!! I hate them so much I could bang my head on a brick wall!! I clearly Don't follow the same rules as other women or I'd be pg by now. 

Ahh why does everything in my life have to be a complicated battle. Just get me pregnant already!!!!!! 
Oh and to top it all off I'm too young (???) to have ivf so I just have to keep going this way. :( so sad I could cry


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## StephieB

Forgive me ladies, I just had to comment in _that_ thread. I couldn't help myself. I need one of you to tie my hands behind me back to stop me in future :haha:

Karenh :hugs: I'm sorry. Its never easy hearing of pregnant woman taking their baby for granted, how can they not want to hear a heart beat :cry: one of my dh's cousins didn't go to the doctors with her pregnancy until she was 7 months...purely because she had spent the previous 6 months drinking, smoking and partying to try and get rid of 'it' (her words not mine) :growlmad:

Amanda, thanks so much for reading my blog and you kind words, its like some form of therapy having it there. Whenever I'm having a down day, I go on their and rant about all the things we have to go through and once I read it back I feel like a cloud is lifted. It's not even particularly designed to be read by anyone in particular, just for us. I would definitely recommend starting one! :hugs:

Secondly, yay for coming up with an official TTC plan. If our next two rounds of clomid fail, we'll be NTNP until we have come up with a new plan of action. I'm strangely looking forward to the calm that will comes with getting away from TTC for a while! 

Jackie thats and awful dream, I'm so sorry!! 

Zfbaby - I have never ovulated between CD11 and 16 on clomid. I don't follow the rules either. I ovulated on CD18 this month and CD19 the clomid cycle before, and my OPKs went from having only one control line on CD16/17, to having the darkest positive I've ever seen on CD18! Don't give up hope, doctors are inevitably wrong quite a lot with infertility (as this thread as shown :haha:) 

Rant: I'm moving house. Currently DH is waiting for me to get out of bed so he can take the bed apart. My life is an array of boxes and bags and I HATE IT! 

Any UK ladies watch Eastenders last night? I was going to avoid it as I knew the story line that was going to happen, but I didn't realise how graphic it was going to be. Both me and DH were in tears :cry:

Karen - I got your message yesterday but was struggling in the back of a removal van at the time. I'm sorry to hear of your news but so glad you found pauline, I'll message you properly later when I'm in my new home with the vino :thumbup:


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## StephieB

I forgot my main rant :dohh:

BANKS! One of the main banks in the UK has gone down. Their computers have failed resulting in no payments being put into peoples accounts, and no payments coming out! Which means I have not been paid my wages yesterday as planned...moving house with zero money in the bank is NOT ideal! Stupid bank I am going to send you a cat poo in the post!!!! :growlmad:


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## wannabemummyb

StephieB said:


> I forgot my main rant :dohh:
> 
> BANKS! One of the main banks in the UK has gone down. Their computers have failed resulting in no payments being put into peoples accounts, and no payments coming out! Which means I have not been paid my wages yesterday as planned...moving house with zero money in the bank is NOT ideal! Stupid bank I am going to send you a cat poo in the post!!!! :growlmad:

I get paid monday......hopefully :dohh:

Steph i have been reading your blog.....love it:happydance:


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## rosebud_01_99

hi 
i also have been affected by the bank thing here in ireland, its totally unacceptable, and everyone is scared because of unstabilty in europe its a permanent thing, eeekkkk

also i dont watch eastenders sicne the mad meg senario i was so outraged by it i banned it frm my tv, but what was the storyline i missed last night?

thanks 
rosebud


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## karenh

Zfbaby said:


> Hi all, not been about much lat couple of days due I work but I'm back and ready to vent!!!
> My rant of the day is I HATE OPKs!!!! I used them almost every day at one point for well over a year (before clomid) and only got 1 positive result. I stopped using them to try and keep my sanity but now that I've been taking clomid for 12 months with varying results my if dr said "use them again you will ov between cd11-16 ( as is normal for clomid) and you'll get a positive" I was skeptical but thought I'd follow her. Well I've got news for you lady, it's day 15 an nada!!!!!!!!!! I hate them so much I could bang my head on a brick wall!! I clearly Don't follow the same rules as other women or I'd be pg by now.
> 
> Ahh why does everything in my life have to be a complicated battle. Just get me pregnant already!!!!!!
> Oh and to top it all off I'm too young (???) to have ivf so I just have to keep going this way. :( so sad I could cry[/QUOTE
> 
> I am in the same boat.


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## Just_married

Hey girls, I know it's frustrating, but I'd be bloody delighted to be too young for ivf!!! Grass is always greener, eh!


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## Zfbaby

Just married, I hope my comment didn't offen anyone. 

It's just very frustrating at the minute as I so desperately want the help but won't get it till I turn thirty. Kinda hurts to be told someone else's criteria means I have to wait to be a mother :(


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## karenh

Zfbaby said:


> Just married, I hope my comment didn't offend anyone.
> 
> It's just very frustrating at the minute as I so desperately want the help but won't get it till I turn thirty. Kinda hurts to be told someone else's criteria means I have to wait to be a mother :(

That would be very frustrating. Is there anything you can do?


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## Just_married

Zfbaby said:


> Just married, I hope my comment didn't offen anyone.
> 
> It's just very frustrating at the minute as I so desperately want the help but won't get it till I turn thirty. Kinda hurts to be told someone else's criteria means I have to wait to be a mother :(

No, your comment wasn't aimed at me, it was aimed at daft criteria, the same criteria which deems me too old to deserve treatment, ever. So our frustration is aimed at the same thing, just glad at least you have that at some point x


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## Armywife84

Aimed at daft NHS...Seriously, what age is appropriate for fertility assistance? I hear of where they're turning women away because they're too old or have one already (it's called secondary IF, you twats) and of where they're too young! 

If they're going to offer assistance, then they need not be so picky!! Infertility is very black and white, no serious IF woman should be turned away!! :growlmad::growlmad:


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## Zfbaby

Unfortunately because of where we live (Wiltshire) we would not be eligible for nhs help until I hit thirty which is next August. we are not in a position to pay for ivf privately as at £5000 ish a round it's a big gamble on our savings. Due to dhs job we also can't move which I have suggested before so we can get help. 
I get so angry that we pay towards the nhs and very rarely get the help we need or at least not without jumping through hoops or battling their minefield of blunders. 
Also, nhs pays for some of the stupidest procedures for some but won't help more people with if!!!! 

Their criteria is also aimed at my weight. I'm 5.4ft and when we 1st went to ifs i was a size 16. Id have to lose quite a bit by the time I get to 30 to qualify. I've already lost a dress size And I'm trying slimming world now too. I'm not going to finally get to thirty and be knocked back!!!!


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## wonderstars

I just had to stop by and express my shock and disgust at the NHS. Unreal.

Many many good thoughts headed your way, ladies. :hugs:


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## Zfbaby

Oh also I had to get this mini rant out. I work in retail and we have some customers in our shop that I have known for years and are very friendly with. A couple came in yesterday and we began to chat. Her daughter is pregnant with # 3. I had to stand there and make all the expected ahhs and ohhs whilst she told me her daughter is really upset it's another boy!!!!!!!!!!!! 
I don't think I need to say much more as I'm sure all you ladies can guess how I felt :(


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## BearsMummy

That's what else is upsetting me about them fucking up, I have until I'm 34 to get treatment on the NHS, I'm 33 in a couple of weeks, so I don't have much time and they have just wasted nearly 3 months of potential treatment. 

But I am now presuming I will be declined for funding after what the girl at the PCT said to me. 

I hate living in this limbo, I know Pauline will find out everything for me. But I just want to know where my paperwork is and get it sent off! I'm just wasting time.


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## timeforababy

hi guys, I lurk on this thread a bit but haven't dared to post as we're not quite LTTC yet.

But as everyone is venting about the NHS, I'd like to vent about mine too.

I can't get referred to a fertility specialist at all in my PCT because my husband has children from a previous marriage. So I will get NOTHING on the NHS.


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## Just_married

Bears, like Pauline said, she is not a decision maker, hang in there. It is always your referral age that is used, that way wIting lists (or inefficiency) won't disqualify you.

Keep your chin up chicken! X


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## zanDark

I want to vent about not being able to keep away from the venting thread :haha:


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## Just_married

My tiny rant for today: 

Don't whinge about not wanting to have children and say things like "why does everybody seem to have an opinion on my ovaries" etc then 6 months later post photographs of silver cross prams asking your FB friends if we think it's worth saving up for as a walking pram.

I think I smell an attention seeker! 

Over and out x


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## wonderstars

Vent:

When did it become wrong to protect yourself?! I don't understand that at ALL. 

And I really really really don't get why anyone would pop back into LTTC to give advice. I'm not even being a cow about it, I sure as hell wouldn't and wouldn't blame anyone for getting their panties in a knot.

My panties are in a big knot this morning. :growlmad:


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## rosebud_01_99

wonderstars said:


> Vent:
> 
> When did it become wrong to protect yourself?! I don't understand that at ALL.
> 
> And I really really really don't get why anyone would pop back into LTTC to give advice. I'm not even being a cow about it, I sure as hell wouldn't and wouldn't blame anyone for getting their panties in a knot.
> 
> My panties are in a big knot this morning. :growlmad:


hi 
getting so sick of it as well, this whole forum is turning into a real hassle, i get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach every time i log in now just wondering who will be posting us HOPE or ADVICE or criticising us on our feelings. i wish these women would just appreciate how lucky they have been and pause for a minute to think how shit it is for us left behind but other than post under sucess stories stay away from posting in lttc because no matter how nicely its worded they are rubbing our faces in their joy.

rosebud


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## NavyWife84

THERE IS A SUCCESS STORIES SECTION FOR A REASON!!!!!
I feel better now. 
But seriously, why keep posting after you have been told that you are hurting the ladies reading it? I'm beginning to think that being pregnant brainwashes you!


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## Wobbles

I'm sorry but there is always a select few who ruin these kind of threads.

Cross posting is against the TOS and so is anti-forum/anti-social behaviour. I suggest if people cannot stay within the rules or don't want to be on the forum because it's a hassle then logout, nobody can force you to login!


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