# christ, he has a new girlfriend and she wants to meet LO



## pandacub

Me and Jacobs dad split up in August. A couple of weeks later, he started 'seeing someone' and this weekend he announced they are officially an item (though I suspect they were an item long before this weekend) 

He has asked if she can come and meet Jacob, (I said maybe near xmas) and now it all feels real and horrible.. the thought of them swanning off and playing happy families with my little boy is heartbreaking. Plus my ex is a lazy sod and I literally have to tell him to do ever. I have a mental image of him putting on the 'look what an amazing dad I am' show. 
I think it hurts more because he was able to move on so quickly, whereas I'm not ready to see someone else at all :(

Anyway this is just a bit of a rant, I'm feeling a bit down and sorry for myself today


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## teal

Personally I think it's very early for her to be meeting LO. If they've only been seeing each other since August then it's not long term or serious enough to think about introducing her to LO. Just my own opinion though and depends how comfortable you would be. If this relationship doesn't work out then it could get confusing for LO having bursts of spending time with someone he'll never see again. 

I hope you're ok :hugs: xx


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## Ceejay123

Awh honey. If I were you I'd suggest meeting her before she meets your lo. I did this with ohs ex to give her peace of mind and honestly it helped us both. Also gave her a chance to meet my son. 

I agree it should wait until at least Christmas to make sure the relationships stable.


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## Dream.dream

I have a rule that I use for myself and for My sons dad. 

No one meets my son until they have been dating 6 month and have met with the other parent . I did this with my current Oh and it made it easier for me to say no when his dad asked to bring around every fling he's had in the last 4 years .

Plus it keeps my son safe from revolving door parents , any guy who wants to be with me has to be committed enough to stick around before they meet my son


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## pandacub

I definitely agree with you ladies, it is way too early and I cant even believe he asked me! Actually, I can because he asked me if she could meet Jacob when they were just Seeing eachother.. errr NO.

I could hear him out my window talking to her out the window (theyphoned wach other at least three times over the space of a day) and he was telling her how much he loves her?! I am really suspicious he was cheating on me with her.

But anyway, I like the idea of meeting her first. Definitely going to leave it until xmas though


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## Mummy1995

I agree. Not before 6months of being official I'd say. And meet her first. Also make sure there are rules/boundaries that you are comfortable with. Sorry hun xx


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## Dezireey

Agree with the other ladies. Never introduce kids to new partners until a good length of time has passed and better still if it turns into engagement or marriage. Sorry he has got a girlfriend so quickly, but blah thats typical of men!


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## SingleStudent

I had this with my son's father who wanted to play happy families with my little boy, his new girlfriend and her child. 
They had been together two years and were living together yet I still had her banned from coming anywhere near my son or his father even mentioning her to him. I had this done officially through court and both the judge and Cafcass backed me totally in my decision (they even CRB checked her for me). After three years of them being together he tried to ask the court permission again but they broke up soon after. At the bare minimum get her CRB checked!


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## CLH_X3

SingleStudent said:


> I had this with my son's father who wanted to play happy families with my little boy, his new girlfriend and her child.
> They had been together two years and were living together yet I still had her banned from coming anywhere near my son or his father even mentioning her to him. I had this done officially through court and both the judge and Cafcass backed me totally in my decision (they even CRB checked her for me). After three years of them being together he tried to ask the court permission again but they broke up soon after. At the bare minimum get her CRB checked!

They been together 2 years, think that classes as long term, you just sound bitter!


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## Dream.dream

CLH_X3 said:


> SingleStudent said:
> 
> 
> I had this with my son's father who wanted to play happy families with my little boy, his new girlfriend and her child.
> They had been together two years and were living together yet I still had her banned from coming anywhere near my son or his father even mentioning her to him. I had this done officially through court and both the judge and Cafcass backed me totally in my decision (they even CRB checked her for me). After three years of them being together he tried to ask the court permission again but they broke up soon after. At the bare minimum get her CRB checked!
> 
> They been together 2 years, think that classes as long term, you just sound bitter!Click to expand...

I'm gunna agree , unless your going to hold yourself to the same standard and never have anyone you date meet your child for that long it seems very petty and slightly hypocritical.


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## sarah0108

SingleStudent said:


> I had this with my son's father who wanted to play happy families with my little boy, his new girlfriend and her child.
> They had been together two years and were living together yet I still had her banned from coming anywhere near my son or his father even mentioning her to him. I had this done officially through court and both the judge and Cafcass backed me totally in my decision (they even CRB checked her for me). After three years of them being together he tried to ask the court permission again but they broke up soon after. At the bare minimum get her CRB checked!


:wacko::wacko:


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## sarah0108

In reply to the original post, i completely understand. I went through similar with FOB (still am as theyre on and off) she met the kids very early and has taken over almost completely, it's hard to get used to but i have had to just let it happen as there is not a lot i can do. 
I did ask politely to wait a while but was ignored.

one of them things i guess :(


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## lauram_92

It does seem a bit soon, but I would keep the "rules" in mind for yourself. Some relationships move very fast, you could be with someone and after 3 months feel ready for them to meet LO. I think after Christmas is a good time.


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