# Please Help!!



## sarahbee

Hey Everyone, 
I have a secret and it's killing me inside.
Please don't judge me!
But the truth is, I don't know who my fathered my babies.
I went to a Hallowe'en party last year and I got really drunk because there was a boy there that I had a huge crush on named Chris. But i remember at some point going into my friend's bedroom with this other guy at my school named Jason and I had sex with him that night. i told him i was on the pill but i wasn't. i don't remember if he came but later that night i was flirting with Chris and we slipped into the bathroom to fool around. he came twice in me while we were in there. i remember passing out in there and when i woke up there was this guy i didn't even know having sex with me!! i was still really drunk so i just closed my eyes and pretend to be asleep i don't really remember what happened. after he left i found chris and he walked me home.
i haven't been at school since i started showing and i didn't tell either person that they might be the father, i don't even know who that third guy was. what should i do?!?! my DD is august 5th and i dont know what to do, i am home all the time now and i just found this forum a couple days ago. i haven't told a anyone what is going on. i just told my parents that the pill didn't work but the truth is i stopped talking it months ago.
please help me. i don't know what to do!


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## charlotte88

Hey hun, no-one is going to judge you. Not us nice girls anyway

did you take it in order to get pregnant? 

If i was you, i would speak to both the boys who you "think" might be the dad and see what they have to say, also could you speak to a close friend or someone who may have seen the third guy that night and know who he is?

I can't imagine what you must be feeling at the moment, it was a confusing enough time for me when i found out i was pregnant and that was whilst being in a 3 year relationship.

If you need anyone to talk to just PM me :)

good luck with what you decide

xx


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## sarahbee

I don't want to be called a slut or something because i dont know who the father is. But i don't want to tell one guy it's his when it might not be.
I don't really want to tell the two guys when there might be a third that I don't even know. :wacko:


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## charlotte88

How do you think the boys will react? do you think either would be supportive or do you think they will both just do a runner? 
I wouldn't worry about people calling you a "slag" your only trying to do best by your daughters! is there anything distinguishing about either of the boys? like is one of a different race or different hair colour, eye colour etc? 
Have you spoken to either of the boys since or do they know that you are pregnant?

xx


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## sparkledust

Hi hun, Im not a teen anymore but just wanted to say the girls on this site are very helpful so dont feel you will be judged. What happened was irresponsible and you are lucky you were not hurt but thats all in the past now...hey we all make mistakes!:dohh: , however it sounds as if that 3rd person took Serious advantage of you and maybe you should talk to someone about that. Anyway Congratulations on your bump and good luck on your journey to mummyhood! I definately think they should know there is a chance you are carrying their child . If they want to help then great but if not there are many young girls who do it on their own and do an amazing job! All the best, and never be afraid to ask for help from people! xxx:thumbup:


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## sarahbee

I think they will both deny it, especially if they know they arent the only possible father.
Chris and Jason look pretty similar, but Jason has darker hair,
I talked to them a bit when i was still at school but i didn't come back after chirstmas break when i found out. i dont really remember what the third guy looked like, maybe more tan but it was dark in the bathroom so i could be wrong.


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## kittycat18

I would hope that no-one on this forum would judge you because everyone makes mistakes. That is what makes us all human at the end of the day. :flower:

I don't want to sound rude but this 3rd guy who you didn't know, why didn't you report him for rape? I would have done that because what he did was disgusting.

Sweetheart, you need to be honest with Chris and Jason. If you don't the chances of this eating away inside you is extremely high... especially when your beautiful twin girls actually get here. It's completely up to you at the end of the day but you should speak to both of these men and tell them the truth. That way when your daughters are born, you could get a DNA test done to find out which of them is the biological father. If it isn't either of them then you know it was the 3rd guy who raped (sorry but true) you... Then you can go down the path of finding out who he was...

It's an extremely tough situation and I wish you the best of luck! xoxoxoxo


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## sarahbee

it was so long ago, i don't think if i told anyone about the third guy that they wold be able to find him.


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## kittycat18

charlotte88 said:


> I wouldn't worry about people calling you a "slag" your only trying to do best by your daughters!

I completely agree with Charlotte. Who cares if people call you names and make judgements against you? At the end of the day you are going to be a teenage mother and people will judge and people will make remarks unfortunately. The sooner you grow a thicker skin and don't let these things bother you then the better :hugs: You need to do what's best for your daughters. They deserve to know who their father is no matter what happened. You should definitely get a DNA test carried out :flower:

Wait. Did you say neither Chris nor Jason know that you're pregnant??


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## sarahbee

I don't think they would agree to do a DNA test.
NEither Chriss or Jason know that i'm pregnant because i've been inside pretty much since january except to go tothe doctors.


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## charlotte88

im sure they will agree if there is a chance that they are a father.
It will deffinatly take a whole load of pressure off your mind if you tell them the possibility is there that they could be a dad, and tbh who are they to call you a slag? chances are they have made mistakes with sleeping with different people at the same time, only difference is men get away with it easier because there is no chance of them getting pregnant. 

Im not a teen mum, but i do look young for my age and as kittycat said, we will get judged alot so the sooner we get used to it the better, because some people are so shallow minded and heartless they cant look past the exterior of a person

xx


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## sarahbee

You don't think i've waited too long to tell them? I just don't want them to run away, maybe after they are born they will meet the babies and they will like them and i can tell them theN??
I'm just worried since I told them both that i was on the pill. they are going to be mad!
i just wanted to get pregnant. i'm so excited for twins!!
i agree with needing to get a thicker skin tho, i'm only fifteen and being in the house most of the time doesn't really toughen my skin up lol


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## charlotte88

so you took yourself off the pill to get pregnant? Please dont think i am judging you but that was a very selfish thing to do, especially at such a young age, but you have made that mistake and there is nothing you can do now.

I think it would be worse for you to introduce them to the babies and then say "oh btw you might be the dad" that is more likely way for them to do a runner. Atleast if you tell them now, they have time to warm to the idea before the shock of having 2 babies thrown into thier arms. 

x


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## kittycat18

I really think the best bet is to speak to both Chris and Jason and to tell them that you are pregnant with beautiful twin girls. If you are too embarrassed or scared to tell them the truth about the conception, then tell them that the pill became defective after the amount of alcohol you consumed. I mean, women get pregnant on the pill all the time. I got pregnant on the pill last year because I had a stomach bug and was vomiting and didn't realise that my contraception wouldn't protect me. You do have to be honest though and toughen up and realise that you need to do what's best by your daughters :hugs: I understand that it is a scary thought but it needs to be done. They won't refuse a DNA test if you request one through the government or once their parents become aware of your pregnancy...


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## amygwen

Don't be afraid to post your problems here hun, no one is going to judge you :hugs:

You haven't waited too long at all to tell them and I'm sure they will come around if they know there's a chance that one of them is the father. Even if you were or weren't on the pill, that's no excuse, you can still get pregnant! They made the choice to sleep with you, so they shouldn't be angry.


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## kittycat18

sarahbee said:


> i just wanted to get pregnant. i'm so excited for twins!!

I completely agree that what you did was very irresponsible but the most important thing is that you and your babies are healthy and your parents are supportive. Does your parents know you were TTC? You need to be honest and stop lying. You will end up getting caught up in the lies in the future. Trust me, everyone does :hugs:


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## charlotte88

agree with everything the girls have said, and also even if you wasnt on the pill they could have done thier bit too by using a condom and they didnt.

The same argument me and fob had when we first found out (he was being a bit of an arse, ill blame it on initial shock haha) and he said "why didnt your pill work how could you let this happen" well EXCUUUUUUSE me, never had he said in our 3 year relationship "i really dont wanna risk a baby so ill use a condom"

Luckily he warmed to the idea after a few hours

I think they will be better about the situation then you are expecting them to be

xx


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## amygwen

kittycat18 said:


> sarahbee said:
> 
> 
> i just wanted to get pregnant. i'm so excited for twins!!
> 
> I completely agree that what you did was very irresponsible but the most important thing is that you and your babies are healthy and your parents are supportive. Does your parents know you were TTC? You need to be honest and stop lying. You will end up getting caught up in the lies in the future. Trust me, everyone does :hugs:Click to expand...

I agree. You may think right now that lying to everybody is fine, but down the road you'll feel a whole lot of guilt for lying about everything.


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## sarahbee

i know it was irresponsible but i think that i can mke it better now by taking care of them on my own. it wasnt their fault. i wanted to get pregnant and i dont think that they should have to stress over something that was my decision. i dont know.


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## kittycat18

Yeah when we conceived this baby we were using a condom because I tried a few different types of oral contraceptives and they didn't work for me but when I was in the denial stage, I wished I had got the implant when I had the chance and I kept blaming Conor for the condom splitting and kept saying to him "Why didn't you notice?"... I feel terrible about it now because I wouldn't take baby back for the world and luckily Conor is understanding and knew it was just me being a hormonal, pregnant woman lol :happydance:


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## kittycat18

sarahbee said:


> i know it was irresponsible but i think that i can mke it better now by taking care of them on my own. it wasnt their fault. i wanted to get pregnant and i dont think that they should have to stress over something that was my decision. i dont know.

Again I don't want to be offensive, but that's completely wrong. I know that this was your decision to stop taking the pill and that it isn't your daughters fault that they were brought into this world but seriously, you need to think about what's best for them and not you. Every child has a God given right to know who their father is and I really think that you will regret this when your older if you don't sort it out now :hugs:


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## sarahbee

i didn't use condoms and they didnt offer to use one. if they had i would've said it feels better without.


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## amygwen

sarahbee said:


> i know it was irresponsible but i think that i can mke it better now by taking care of them on my own. it wasnt their fault. i wanted to get pregnant and i dont think that they should have to stress over something that was my decision. i dont know.

You won't make it better by taking care of them on your own. I think the fact that you won't let these two little girls know who their father is would be irresponsible. By taking control of the situation you're in and allowing these two guys to know what happened is the responsible thing to do. You may have wanted to get pregnant, but they wanted to have sex with you clearly and they made the decision to jump into bed with you whether you were on the pill or if you weren't on the pill, there's ALWAYS a chance of getting pregnant. And even if you think these two guys may not want to be a part of their child's life, they might and if you don't tell them, you're not giving them that option. At least if you tell them they can make the decision if they want to be involved. Trust me, you will regret not allowing them into your daughter's life down the road.


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## sarahbee

well what exactly should i say? "i havent been at school for five months because i had sex with two guys, maybe a third at the halloween party."
i'm pregnant now and it might be yours? 
That sounds so scary! they will just run away :'-(


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## charlotte88

sarahbee said:


> i didn't use condoms and they didnt offer to use one. if they had i would've said it feels better without.

i'm trying REALLY hard not to judge and im blaming this naivety on you only being 15!! but when you decided to get yourself pregnant who did you think would fund your baby and look after you and your children because at the end of the day you are only 15 so are not physically capable of doing it all alone anyway. 
I think seeing as you wasnt in a stable relationship it was very selfish and irresponsible and you should have thought further into the future rather then thinking "i want a cute little baby" because they are expensive and need ALOT of care and attention, its not just a 5 minute thing and i really hope you realise that. 

You are lucky you didnt end up with something more sinester like HIV or another STI!


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## kittycat18

sarahbee said:


> well what exactly should i say? "i havent been at school for five months because i had sex with two guys, maybe a third at the halloween party."
> i'm pregnant now and it might be yours?
> That sounds so scary! they will just run away :'-(

No, you get in contact with Chris and Jason and you tell them that at the Halloween Party when you's had sex, you actually fell pregnant and you had sex with three men and you don't know who the father is. You need to remind them that they had sex with you and after they have some time to cool down, suggest having a DNA test done when your daughters are born. This way, you will know who the father is, he will be on the birth certificate and he will be able to provide you with financial support (by law). I know it may sound scary but you need to do this :hugs:


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## sarahbee

i don't know i think i will be able to do it. my parents are really supportive. 
i know i dont have stis, at least not from the first two guys because they are only 17 and havent been with that many girls. i don't know about the third guy but i dont really know what happened that night. i've been trying to forget that part


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## kittycat18

charlotte88 said:


> i'm trying REALLY hard not to judge and im blaming this naivety on you only being 15!! but when you decided to get yourself pregnant who did you think would fund your baby and look after you and your children because at the end of the day you are only 15 so are not physically capable of doing it all alone anyway.
> I think seeing as you wasnt in a stable relationship it was very selfish and irresponsible and you should have thought further into the future rather then thinking "i want a cute little baby" because they are expensive and need ALOT of care and attention, its not just a 5 minute thing and i really hope you realise that.
> 
> You are lucky you didnt end up with something more sinester like HIV or another STI!

Cuddle for Charlotte :hugs:
Sarah, she is right. You are only young and a child takes a lot of financial, physical and emotional support. I don't know what way the law is in New York but at 15 years old in the UK you are still only a child yourself and still legally required to go to school etc. At the end of the day, you made the decision and good on you for keeping your daughters and wanting to provide for them and support them :hugs: But you could have gotten an STD suchs as AIDs and what would you have done if not only you were suffering, but the two beautiful little girls you brought into this world were also suffering? :hugs:

Look, I am not going to lecture because what's done is done and there are a lot of mothers out there who are younger than you and have gone on to make fantastic mummys! There are girls on this forum your age and younger :flower:


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## charlotte88

sarahbee said:


> i don't know i think i will be able to do it. my parents are really supportive.
> *i know i dont have stis, at least not from the first two guys because they are only 17 and havent been with that many girls.* i don't know about the third guy but i dont really know what happened that night. i've been trying to forget that part

OMG dont be so bloody STUPID!!!!!! 
it only takes once!! my best friend from school had sex with ONE girl and caught HIV and DIED because of it!!! 

Open your eyes and get some common sence!! NOW before its too late and you pass on this stupid outlook on life to your children!!!


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## kittycat18

sarahbee said:


> i know i dont have stis, at least not from the first two guys because they are only 17 and havent been with that many girls. i don't know about the third guy but i dont really know what happened that night. i've been trying to forget that part

You don't know who Chris and Jason have slept with hunni, and what were 17 year olds doing at a party taking advantage of a drunken 15 year old? There is no reason they can't step up to their responsibilities if one of them are the father! Have you gotten checked out with the doctor for STD's which don't have obvious symptoms? There are STD's which do not cause discomfort until further on down the line (months) and which also do not show visibly :nope:


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## sarahbee

i still plan on going to school in the fall after the girls are old enough to go to daycare. i'm doin ghome school for now. 
i think i will see if i can call chris today because i still really like him and i would want him to be the father. but i will think about tell jason because he is a loudmouth and will tell everyone at school and then iwont be able to go back to that school


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## charlotte88

kittycat18 said:


> Cuddle for Charlotte :hugs:
> Sarah, she is right. You are only young and a child takes a lot of financial, physical and emotional support. I don't know what way the law is in New York but at 15 years old in the UK you are still only a child yourself and still legally required to go to school etc. At the end of the day, you made the decision and good on you for keeping your daughters and wanting to provide for them and support them :hugs: But you could have gotten an STD suchs as AIDs and what would you have done if not only you were suffering, but the two beautiful little girls you brought into this world were also suffering? :hugs:
> 
> Look, I am not going to lecture because what's done is done and there are a lot of mothers out there who are younger than you and have gone on to make fantastic mummys! There are girls on this forum your age and younger :flower:

:hugs: i try not to judge on here but sometimes people are so unbelievably stupid about the decisions they make, they dont realise they are putting thier lives at jeopardy


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## sarahbee

kittycat18 said:


> sarahbee said:
> 
> 
> i know i dont have stis, at least not from the first two guys because they are only 17 and havent been with that many girls. i don't know about the third guy but i dont really know what happened that night. i've been trying to forget that part
> 
> You don't know who Chris and Jason have slept with hunni, and what were 17 year olds doing at a party taking advantage of a drunken 15 year old?Click to expand...

Well that was before my birthday so i was only 14 but they werent taking advantage of my, i wanted to have sex witht hem


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## kittycat18

Can I just put it out there that I caught crabs from Conor... We were together over 2 years and took a break for a month and he slept with another girl when he was extremely drunk. He has only ever slept with me and this 16 year old girl Jade. They used a condom but he still caught crabs from her and passed them on to me when we got back together (we were also using a condom). It was the most embarrassing experience of my life and this is the only time I wish to speak about it. Luckily, we sought treatment and were ok. He didn't realise there was a possibility you could still catch Crabs even with a condom... :dohh:


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## emz_x

sarahbee said:


> i don't know i think i will be able to do it. my parents are really supportive.
> i know i dont have stis, at least not from the first two guys because they are only 17 and havent been with that many girls. i don't know about the third guy but i dont really know what happened that night. i've been trying to forget that part

It doesn't matter if they haven't been with many people. One of the few people they could have been with could have passed an STI on to them. You really need to get checked out. I'd go to a clinic and get tested because you could pass something on to your unborn babies. I know it's incredibly unlikely that you've got something but it's still very good to check so you don't put your babies at risk.

One of them is your babies' father and he has a right to know that they exist. If they run away, then they run away. At least you've tried to do the right thing for your children. Imagine in a few years your twins asking who their father is and for you not to be able to give them an answer :( They deserve to know, and their father may want to be involved in their lives and it's unfair to deny him that right.

No matter how difficult it is, you must step up and do the right thing for your children. They chose not to wear a condom so they must have known what the risks would have been. You don't even have to tell them that you deliberately weren't on the Pill because the pill isn't 100% effective.


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## charlotte88

at 14 i was at sleepovers with my girly friends talking about boy bands not out getting pissed at parties thinking about getting myself pregnant!! 

Don't think im judging anyone who genuinly got pregnant at a young age by pure accident but this is rediculous!! When did 14 year olds stop being children still?

Im glad i was bought up how i was


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## sarahbee

i know i dont have crabs. when i could see down there i didnt see anything and i dont have any symptoms and the doctor wouldve probably said something if he noticed anything down there


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## kittycat18

sarahbee said:


> i still plan on going to school in the fall after the girls are old enough to go to daycare. i'm doin ghome school for now.
> i think i will see if i can call chris today because i still really like him and i would want him to be the father. but i will think about tell jason because he is a loudmouth and will tell everyone at school and then iwont be able to go back to that school

Why wouldn't you be able to go back to school? Everyone is going to know that you were pregnant and gave birth to two beautiful girls and that is something to be extremely proud of :hugs: In regards to you sleeping with 3 men, who cares? It is none of anyone else's business. We are only human and we all make mistakes. 
But your going to tell Chris he may not be the father right?


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## charlotte88

did you know crabs can live under the skin! and we are not only talking about crabs. Do you know if you have syphilis and you pass it onto your babies they could be born blind!!


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## emz_x

sarahbee said:


> i know i dont have crabs. when i could see down there i didnt see anything and i dont have any symptoms and the doctor wouldve probably said something if he noticed anything down there

That's pretty naive. 70% of women with chlamydia don't have any symptoms at all yet it could be very harmful for newborn babies.


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## sarahbee

kittycat18 said:


> sarahbee said:
> 
> 
> i still plan on going to school in the fall after the girls are old enough to go to daycare. i'm doin ghome school for now.
> i think i will see if i can call chris today because i still really like him and i would want him to be the father. but i will think about tell jason because he is a loudmouth and will tell everyone at school and then iwont be able to go back to that school
> 
> Why wouldn't you be able to go back to school? Everyone is going to know that you were pregnant and gave birth to two beautiful girls and that is something to be extremely proud of :hugs: In regards to you sleeping with 3 men, who cares? It is none of anyone else's business. We are only human and we all make mistakes.
> But your going to tell Chris he may not be the father right?Click to expand...

i just want him to be the father i'll tell him i'm not 100% but he came twice so it's more like that it is him. not 100% but probably.


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## emz_x

Also, some people can live with HIV for a very long time before realising that something is wrong. I don't mean to scare you but you need to get checked.


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## sarahbee

emz_x said:


> Also, some people can live with HIV for a very long time before realising that something is wrong. I don't mean to scare you but you need to get checked.

i will go get checked as soon as i can. i didnt know :-(
thanks for being nice and not calling me stupid


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## emz_x

sarahbee said:


> kittycat18 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> sarahbee said:
> 
> 
> i still plan on going to school in the fall after the girls are old enough to go to daycare. i'm doin ghome school for now.
> i think i will see if i can call chris today because i still really like him and i would want him to be the father. but i will think about tell jason because he is a loudmouth and will tell everyone at school and then iwont be able to go back to that school
> 
> Why wouldn't you be able to go back to school? Everyone is going to know that you were pregnant and gave birth to two beautiful girls and that is something to be extremely proud of :hugs: In regards to you sleeping with 3 men, who cares? It is none of anyone else's business. We are only human and we all make mistakes.
> But your going to tell Chris he may not be the father right?Click to expand...
> 
> i just want him to be the father i'll tell him i'm not 100% but he came twice so it's more like that it is him. not 100% but probably.Click to expand...

Even if Jason is a loudmouth, he still has a right to know. Don't THINK about telling him, you really NEED to, Hun :nope: You must tell both of them and ask them to do a DNA test once your babies are born. And it's pretty close to 50/50 still, even if one did cum twice. Millions of sperm are released every time a guy comes.


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## stephx

Do you not automatically have a full sti check at 8 weeks in US? I would reeally get checked because you never know what you could have caught and it night harm your babies untreated.

As for the boys, be honest. There's really not a lot else you could do in this situation. Don't wait any longer- your babies are 50% theirs, it's really not fair keeping it a secret.

I'm sorry but at 15, why did you want to get pregnant? I'm trying not to judge but you but how are you going to support yourself and your girls? x


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## charlotte88

Also did you know that seeing as your having twins if they are from separate eggs they can both have different dads seeing as there was a mixture of 3 different sperms that night so anyone of the men could have fertilized each egg.


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## stephx

And it only takes 1 sperm, doesn't matter how many times he came you should still be treating it as 50/50 x


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## emz_x

sarahbee said:


> emz_x said:
> 
> 
> Also, some people can live with HIV for a very long time before realising that something is wrong. I don't mean to scare you but you need to get checked.
> 
> i will go get checked as soon as i can. i didnt know :-(
> thanks for being nice and not calling me stupidClick to expand...

No one on here wants to make you feel worse than you do :hugs: You're obviously going through a difficult time and you have some tough decisions to make. However, you'll have to do some things that you really don't want to do for the sake of your babies.


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## charlotte88

stephx said:


> And it only takes 1 sperm, doesn't matter how many times he came you should still be treating it as 50/50 x

i know it doesnt, but if she had sex with 3 men on the same night any of thier sperm could have fertilized each egg so she could have one from jason and one from chris.


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## emz_x

charlotte88 said:


> Also did you know that seeing as your having twins if they are from separate eggs they can both have different dads seeing as there was a mixture of 3 different sperms that night so anyone of the men could have fertilized each egg.

Her twins are identical. That wouldn't be the case fortunately.


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## charlotte88

emz_x said:


> charlotte88 said:
> 
> 
> Also did you know that seeing as your having twins if they are from separate eggs they can both have different dads seeing as there was a mixture of 3 different sperms that night so anyone of the men could have fertilized each egg.
> 
> Her twins are identical. That wouldn't be the case fortunately.Click to expand...

thats why i said if they are from separate eggs.


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## sarahbee

they are identical so they wouldnt have different daddies


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## kittycat18

charlotte88 said:


> at 14 i was at sleepovers with my girly friends talking about boy bands not out getting pissed at parties thinking about getting myself pregnant!!
> 
> Don't think im judging anyone who genuinly got pregnant at a young age by pure accident but this is rediculous!! When did 14 year olds stop being children still?
> 
> Im glad i was bought up how i was

More cuddles for Charlotte's blood pressure :hugs:
I had sex for the first time at 15 years old with my boyfriend of 6 months (with contraception) and I hated it. It was a horrible experience and I regretted it ever since. I lost my virginity too young but the experience definitely put me off sex for a while. Me and Conor (FOB) were together over 2 years and 2 months until recently when we took a break to work through some things but we were obviously sexually active (with contraception) and I fell pregnant last year at 17 whilst on the pill but miscarried at 12 weeks and then again this year whilst using a condom and now I am 18 and due in July. I could never imagine trying for a baby so young :nope: I just wasn't ready. But I wouldn't change things now...


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## charlotte88

hey im not judging anyone about losing their virginity early, each to their own. I've not been a saint since i lost mine at 16 but im just shocked there are people aiming to go out at get pregnant at such a young age, maybe i was pretty sheltered at that age who knows eh lol. 

x


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## dreabae

stephx said:


> Do you not automatically have a full sti check at 8 weeks in US? I would reeally get checked because you never know what you could have caught and it night harm your babies untreated.

You normally do in NY or PA. I had to get blood work and they checked my culture and pap. I asked afterwards about std testing because there was a chance a guy I had been with for over a year gave me something because he cheated. So I think if you had anything you should know. But be careful because some take a few months to show any symptoms are even come up in blood work. My friend had trich for over a year before she had any symptoms.


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## emz_x

charlotte88 said:


> emz_x said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> charlotte88 said:
> 
> 
> Also did you know that seeing as your having twins if they are from separate eggs they can both have different dads seeing as there was a mixture of 3 different sperms that night so anyone of the men could have fertilized each egg.
> 
> Her twins are identical. That wouldn't be the case fortunately.Click to expand...
> 
> thats why i said if they are from separate eggs.Click to expand...

No, I realise that's why you said it. I was just saying that luckily that hadn't happened, but it was easily possible if they had come from separate eggs.


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## charlotte88

emz_x said:


> charlotte88 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> emz_x said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> charlotte88 said:
> 
> 
> Also did you know that seeing as your having twins if they are from separate eggs they can both have different dads seeing as there was a mixture of 3 different sperms that night so anyone of the men could have fertilized each egg.
> 
> Her twins are identical. That wouldn't be the case fortunately.Click to expand...
> 
> thats why i said if they are from separate eggs.Click to expand...
> 
> No, I realise that's why you said it. I was just saying that luckily that hadn't happened, but it was easily possible if they had come from separate eggs.Click to expand...

Sorry hehe, its a sad fact though, fortunately she doesn't have that hurdle to deal with either, if i was a twin i dont think id like to be told that my "sister" was actually only a half sister.


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## sarahbee

The dr never said i had stds but i didnt really ask. if i had them he wouldve told me. but i dont know for sure.


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## dreabae

charlotte88 said:


> hey im not judging anyone about losing their virginity early, each to their own. I've not been a saint since i lost mine at 16 but im just shocked there are people aiming to go out at get pregnant at such a young age, maybe i was pretty sheltered at that age who knows eh lol.
> 
> x

I lost my virginity at 13 although I didnt have sex again till I was 16. I guess its just different areas you grow up in. At 13 I was doing things that most seniors in other schools dont experience because of the area I was in.


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## sarahbee

dreabae said:


> charlotte88 said:
> 
> 
> hey im not judging anyone about losing their virginity early, each to their own. I've not been a saint since i lost mine at 16 but im just shocked there are people aiming to go out at get pregnant at such a young age, maybe i was pretty sheltered at that age who knows eh lol.
> 
> x
> 
> I lost my virginity at 13 although I didnt have sex again till I was 16. I guess its just different areas you grow up in. At 13 I was doing things that most seniors in other schools dont experience because of the area I was in.Click to expand...

Yeah i lost my virginity at 13 too but i had a good experience so i kept doing it, i used the pill at first


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## kittycat18

sarahbee said:


> i just want him to be the father i'll tell him i'm not 100% but he came twice so it's more like that it is him. not 100% but probably.

Wrong hunni :hugs: It doesn't matter how many times he came


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## charlotte88

dreabae said:


> charlotte88 said:
> 
> 
> hey im not judging anyone about losing their virginity early, each to their own. I've not been a saint since i lost mine at 16 but im just shocked there are people aiming to go out at get pregnant at such a young age, maybe i was pretty sheltered at that age who knows eh lol.
> 
> x
> 
> I lost my virginity at 13 although I didnt have sex again till I was 16. I guess its just different areas you grow up in. At 13 I was doing things that most seniors in other schools dont experience because of the area I was in.Click to expand...

Yeah probably, some girls in the school i went to where the same, i remember when i was in yr 7 (would have made me 12) and a girl in my class was telling us about having sex with her boyfriend, me and my friends all thought it was so gross haha. i guess it shows how immature we were then. 

I don't think losing your virginity young makes you any more promiscuous then someone who lost it when they are older. Just need to see some people who go to university and see how a persons outlook on thier sex life changes from being very exclusive one minute to bed hopping the next lol.


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## kittycat18

charlotte88 said:


> hey im not judging anyone about losing their virginity early, each to their own. I've not been a saint since i lost mine at 16 but im just shocked there are people aiming to go out at get pregnant at such a young age, maybe i was pretty sheltered at that age who knows eh lol.
> 
> x

Oh, I know you weren't. I just decided to share :haha: x


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## charlotte88

sarahbee said:


> Yeah i lost my virginity at 13 too but i had a good experience so i kept doing it, i used the pill at first

dont mind me for asking but how many people did you sleep with before you found out you was pregnant?


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## sarahbee

like from when i started having sex or since i found out i was pregnant?


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## charlotte88

kittycat18 said:


> charlotte88 said:
> 
> 
> hey im not judging anyone about losing their virginity early, each to their own. I've not been a saint since i lost mine at 16 but im just shocked there are people aiming to go out at get pregnant at such a young age, maybe i was pretty sheltered at that age who knows eh lol.
> 
> x
> 
> Oh, I know you weren't. I just decided to share :haha: xClick to expand...

lol, i had a bad experience too, mine was at 16 in a two room tent in the middle of the woods having sex with my then boyfriend whilst 2 of my friends where in the other room having sex!! reaaaal romantic hahaha

x


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## charlotte88

sarahbee said:


> like from when i started having sex or since i found out i was pregnant?

from when you lost your virginity.


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## syntaxerror

omfg.

Okay, off for a while...a loaf of banana bread says this thread finds a way to get itself locked by the time I'm home. Probably not because of anyone who's in here now but there is shit-to-fan potential.

OP -- the short version is: get tested for STDs. Yes, do it. All sorts of things can be asymptomatic but still hurt your babies. Tell both guys they could be the father. See if it's too late to file a police report for rape (I would imagine it is; they can't exactly do a rape kit at this point) for the third guy. 

And don't ever, ever do anything like this again. Getting drunk at 14, unprotected sex with multiple partners, lying about birth control :(


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## Leanne11

HIV and things such as syphillus show up in blood tests, she would have been informed by now.


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## emz_x

sarahbee said:


> The dr never said i had stds but i didnt really ask. if i had them he wouldve told me. but i dont know for sure.

Did they check for Syphillis and HIV in your blood tests? It was standard procedure at my midwife appointments, but I don't know how it is in America. I also was checked for Chlamydia through urine samples.


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## sarahbee

i dont know. i didnt really keep track, maybe like thirty or forty. i was at parties for most of those. those are just the ones i remember.


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## charlotte88

sarahbee said:


> i dont know. i didnt really keep track, maybe like thirty or forty. i was at parties for most of those. those are just the ones i remember.

well i am bloody gobsmacked!! cant really say much more to that. was this all in add to get pregnant?
You really didnt care who it was did you?


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## kittycat18

charlotte88 said:


> lol, i had a bad experience too, mine was at 16 in a two room tent in the middle of the woods having sex with my then boyfriend whilst 2 of my friends where in the other room having sex!! reaaaal romantic hahaha

No sweetheart not very romantic. My boyfriend at the time was about 16 or 17 I think and he completely panicked. He didn't know what to do and didn't want to hurt me. It was just terrible



Leanne11 said:


> HIV and things such as syphillus show up in blood tests, she would have been informed by now.

I know hunni but she lives in the USA and I am not 100% sure what the medical procedure of the booking appointment is and if your offered blood screening for STDs :hugs:


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## emz_x

[/QUOTE]I know hunni but she lives in the USA and I am not 100% sure what the medical procedure of the booking appointment is and if your offered blood screening for STDs :hugs:[/QUOTE]

That was my concern as well. It could be different there.


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## stephx

sarahbee said:


> i dont know. i didnt really keep track, maybe like thirty or forty. i was at parties for most of those. those are just the ones i remember.

:dohh:


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## kittycat18

sarahbee said:


> i dont know. i didnt really keep track, maybe like thirty or forty. i was at parties for most of those. those are just the ones i remember.

Is that a joke? I am 18, sex is legal here at the age of 16 for women and 17 for men and I have had 6 sexual partners. 5 of them were really good friends who I slept with once during a night out and the 6th being Conor who is babys daddy... 

Sorry for sounding rude. I'm just shocked.


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## stephx

I really don't mean this in a bad way but I hope you learn to respect yourself more once your daughters are born


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## kittycat18

emz_x said:


> That was my concern as well. It could be different there.

Yeah, I am not sure what it is either. One of the women a few pages back said it is normally offered in her area but she wasn't sure either :hugs:


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## charlotte88

kittycat18 said:


> sarahbee said:
> 
> 
> i dont know. i didnt really keep track, maybe like thirty or forty. i was at parties for most of those. those are just the ones i remember.
> 
> Is that a joke? I am 18, sex is legal here at the age of 16 for women and 17 for men and I have had 6 sexual partners. 5 of them were really good friends who I slept with once during a night out and the 6th being Conor who is babys daddy...
> 
> Sorry for sounding rude. I'm just shocked.Click to expand...

its 16 here for men and women, wonder why its 17 for men in Northern ireland? do you know?
xx


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## sarahbee

i do respect myself! i knew what i want and i got it. none of the guys i were with were strangers. except that third guy on halloween.


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## charlotte88

you clearly dont respect yourself if your willing to jump into bed with any tom dick or harry! 
in your OP you said you didnt want people to think you were a slag but judging what you say in the rest of your posts!! if the crown fits eh.


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## stephx

sarahbee said:


> i do respect myself! i knew what i want and i got it. none of the guys i were with were strangers. except that third guy on halloween.

That's not respecting yourself hun...


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## kittycat18

charlotte88 said:


> its 16 here for men and women, wonder why its 17 for men in Northern ireland? do you know?
> xx

Not a clue sweetheart but that is the law here anyway. I think it's a little ridiculous but oh well :haha:


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## emz_x

sarahbee said:


> i dont know. i didnt really keep track, maybe like thirty or forty. i was at parties for most of those. those are just the ones i remember.

How long have you been trying to get pregnant for? Wow, that's quite a large number.

Luckily for me, the same guy I lost my virginity to got me pregnant. I had sex just after I turned 15 but, looking back on it, I regret it. He was lovely and I had a positive experience but I wasn't ready and I only rushed in to it because I was having some problems at home. 

I don't know why you decided to get pregnant at such a young age, Hun :( It's going to be so so tough for you. My pregnancy was due to a contraception failure and although my OH is supportive, it's been such a huge struggle for me. I would never have decided to try unless I was emotionally and financially ready to have a child. I can't imagine what it's going to be like having, not one, but two newborns to look after. Best of luck to you though :hugs: I hope FOB supports you and your babies and I'm glad you have the support of your parents.


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## dreabae

sarahbee said:


> i do respect myself! i knew what i want and i got it. none of the guys i were with were strangers. except that third guy on halloween.

I dont think they mean it in a horrible way, but they are trying to tell you not to put yourself at such risk.


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## kittycat18

sarahbee said:


> i do respect myself! i knew what i want and i got it. none of the guys i were with were strangers. except that third guy on halloween.

That honestly isn't respecting your body and your right as a woman. Yes you wanted to get pregnant and yes you did technically get what you want. But at what cost, your daughters will more than likely end up growing up not knowing who their father is :shrug:

I am sorry. I really don't want to sound harsh because it's none of my business, but I was embarrassed to type that I had slept with 6 men... Let alone 30 or 40


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## emz_x

sarahbee said:


> i do respect myself! i knew what i want and i got it. none of the guys i were with were strangers. except that third guy on halloween.

That third guy quite clearly raped you. I really really hope that one of the other guys is the father for the sake of your babies.


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## charlotte88

the sad thing is you sound proud that you managed to get yourself pregnant at such a young age. 
I hope your daughters have more sense then you do.

I sure as hell know id be very dissapointed if my baby girl came home to me and told me she had slept with 40 men at the age of 14.


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## sarahbee

i hadn't been trying to get pregnant for very long. i started in september 2010 so i was trying for about two months


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## dreabae

You should tell the two guys and get dna testing. Your going to need as much help as possible and if you knew for sure which one it was maybe they would be there for you.


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## Leanne11

Ohh right, yeahh i didnt think of the different tests in countries.
here we have full blood tests to get the all clear.
30 or 40! Blimeeyyy, im with the same guy who got me pregnant!
I think u should inform them both..


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## emz_x

charlotte88 said:


> the sad thing is you sound proud that you managed to get yourself pregnant at such a young age.
> I hope your daughters have more sense then you do.
> 
> I sure as hell know id be very dissapointed if my baby girl came home to me and told me she had slept with 40 men at the age of 14.

I'd be disappointed too. I think what everyone else means by respecting yourself is saving sex for someone you really love. In future, I hope you do that so your daughters have a healthy attitude towards sexual relationships and don't follow your example.


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## sarahbee

if it was any guy other than chris i wouldnt really want him in their life because they are bad influences. i think i'm protecting my daughters by keeping them out of their life, would you want to know your dad if he raped your mom? i think i'm doing something good for them


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## stephx

I really feel very sorry for you :nope:


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## Leanne11

Babee.. why would u try to get pregnant when ur not even in a relationship.
What about how those boys are going to feel who rnt ready for a child?
Its sort of a trap?


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## sarahbee

Leanne11 said:


> Babee.. why would u try to get pregnant when ur not even in a relationship.
> What about how those boys are going to feel who rnt ready for a child?
> Its sort of a trap?

i'm trying to trap anyone. that's why i want to do it by myself. so no one feels trapped.


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## dreabae

Leanne11 said:


> Ohh right, yeahh i didnt think of the different tests in countries.
> here we have full blood tests to get the all clear.
> 30 or 40! Blimeeyyy, im with the same guy who got me pregnant!
> I think u should inform them both..

I had a full blood test and they ran tests on my culture. I live in the US but my doctor never discussed my results untill I asked and thats when he told me nothing was wrong. She may have had it done and just didnt know exactly what the test was for?


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## emz_x

sarahbee said:


> if it was any guy other than chris i wouldnt really want him in their life because they are bad influences. i think i'm protecting my daughters by keeping them out of their life, would you want to know your dad if he raped your mom? i think i'm doing something good for them

I agree with the last part. If it is the third guy, don't let him have any involvement in your babies' lives :nope: I certainly wouldn't want to know if I was a product of rape. However, I think you should give the other guy a chance if it isn't Chris. He may surprise you and the babies might motivate him to act more responsibly.


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## charlotte88

it sounds to me that you are trying to use these girls as a way for this chris guy to want to be with you, sorry to piss on your bonfire hunny but that aint how the cookie crumbles. 
No amount of kiddies is gonna make a guy be with someone if he don't want to.

I think your main priority is to find out who the babies dad is no matter if YOU want to know or not. its about your daughters not you.


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## Leanne11

How can you say you wouldnt want them in ur life?
Yes i agree if it turns out to be the guy that raped you, but he would have still got u pregnant like u wanted. Maybe not the nicest way, but as u said u got what u want.
Other than the guy that did that, how could u say that. Uve trapped them into getting u pregnant and ur saying if it isnt chris you dont want them in ur kids life???
You have so much to learnn..


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## kittycat18

dreabae said:


> You should tell the two guys and get dna testing. Your going to need as much help as possible and if you knew for sure which one it was maybe they would be there for you.

There was 3


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## sarahbee

i dont know. :-( 
I'm just trying to do what's best :-( 
I can't talk to any of my friends because i don't want anyone to know. 
i just wanted some advice.


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## dreabae

kittycat18 said:


> dreabae said:
> 
> 
> You should tell the two guys and get dna testing. Your going to need as much help as possible and if you knew for sure which one it was maybe they would be there for you.
> 
> There was 3Click to expand...

Well the two that werent forced upon. If she dont know the third she cant really get a test for him


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## kittycat18

dreabae said:


> Well the two that werent forced upon. If she dont know the third she cant really get a test for him

Well said hunni! I was just saying because I wasn't sure if you had read the whole thread :flower:

I agree that you should let both Chris and Jason have a chance no matter what kind of influence you may think they are. If it was the man who raped you then, ok yes I agree, I wouldn't want them in my children's lives :hugs: xx


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## dreabae

sarahbee said:


> i dont know. :-(
> I'm just trying to do what's best :-(
> I can't talk to any of my friends because i don't want anyone to know.
> i just wanted some advice.

People are going to find out sweetie so maybe try and seek advice from them.


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## Leanne11

You'll need to tell them, thats whats best.
I know you want to be with this chris guy but he didnt willingly have sex with u to get u pregnant. You did that on ur own accord. Just remember theres a chance he may be angered by this and may not be the father. If it does turn out to be jason and he wants to be in those girls lives, i think u have to let him, because you have got him in this position, deliberatly.
If it was failed contraception then no one is to blame...


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## sarahbee

Leanne11 said:


> You'll need to tell them, thats whats best.
> I know you want to be with this chris guy but he didnt willingly have sex with u to get u pregnant. You did that on ur own accord. Just remember theres a chance he may be angered by this and may not be the father. If it does turn out to be jason and he wants to be in those girls lives, i think u have to let him, because you have got him in this position, deliberatly.
> If it was failed contraception then no one is to blame...

WEll yeah, if jason wanted to be in their lives i would let him, i just really really dont think he would.


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## rainbows_x

This whole sitation is really messed up sweet. You need to sort it out before your LO's are here, how do you think they would feel reading this in years to come?

You need to get tested and you need to tell the potential fathers. Why are you not in school at the moment? Have they not realised you aren't there? It's just so, so shocking that you purposely tried for six months to get pregnant, totally disregarding the potential fathers concerns & respect.


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## Leanne11

Chance you have to take my love, you may be surprised.
Some guys wouldnt want to turn their children down. x


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## emz_x

Just tell both Chris and the other guy. Get them to do paternity tests and let the father be there for your babies if he chooses to be (even if it isn't Chris). Although you're saying that you'll happily do this alone, you still used their sperm to create a baby without their knowledge. Of course they would have known that getting a girl pregnant sometimes happens as a result of sex, but they didn't know this would happen in your case as they thought you were on the Pill. They didn't ask to be sperm donors but they did take the risk. I feel so sorry for all the guys out there who have fathered children without even realising :(

Also, what would happen if your babies have some medical problems and you weren't a tissue match? You wouldn't know if their father was. There could also be hereditary diseases on their father's side that you don't even know about and which your babies could possibly be at risk of through their DNA. You really do need to know who the father is.


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## sarahbee

you guys are right i will talk to both chris and jason when i can. i think i will just say that my pill failed like i told my parents. i know its not the truth but i'm already pregnant and it wouldnt make a huge difference. what happened happened.


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## dreabae

You do need to tell them. One girl did something like this to one of my friends and he was devasted when he found out 2 years later there was a chance he was the father. He would have loved to watch his baby grow up. You never know what they would be like because I never expected that fromhim.


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## emz_x

Well done, Hun :) That's a very wise decision. Remember you can always come back here for support once you've told them.


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## sarahbee

rainbows_x said:


> This whole sitation is really messed up sweet. You need to sort it out before your LO's are here, how do you think they would feel reading this in years to come?
> 
> You need to get tested and you need to tell the potential fathers. Why are you not in school at the moment? Have they not realised you aren't there? It's just so, so shocking that you purposely tried for six months to get pregnant, totally disregarding the potential fathers concerns & respect.

i'm doing homeschool , no one at my school knows i dont think. they just think i'm travelling or something


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## syntaxerror

Showered, must, MUST leave now...
I'm glad you're trying to take care of things now, but seriously...if you don't want people to think you're a slut, as you said, don't act as one. Unprotected sex with 30-40 guys? At 14? Over the space of, if I understood you correctly, 2 months? And you're convinced that you have no STDs because two of the guys were only 17 (not sure about the others.)

That didn't show self-respect. That didn't show respect to your partners. And that certainly didn't show respect to your parents who now have to support you and your child.


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## Leanne11

Well whats done is done and nobody not even sarahbee can take that back.
No point bashing her over it, everyones said their piece and i hope she will take advice from it.
Now all you need to think of are those babies and how ur going to take ur next step. x


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## kittycat18

Leanne is right, as always :haha: No point in saying anything else, we have all said our bits. Sarah can now only do what is best for her and her daughters xx


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## kittycat18

How did telling Chris and Jason go? :flower: xx


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## oOskittlesOo

Didn't read through the whole thread but :hugs: first. It sounds like you REALLY need to just talk to both guys you do know.. Tell them that you got pregnant and it was around the time you guys slept together. Not sure about different places but here they pay for a DNA test. If there is a possibility of them being the dad the government will want them paying child support and if they both came out not being the father you'd know who the dad was.. And about the STDs.. Lovely, please please get checked for them because like some posts I saw.. It only takes one time. Who knows if the girls they have slept with had HIV or any other diseases that will be passed to your LOs during birth. You need to THINK about ALL posibilitys. I got a tattoo and when my mom found out the guy that gave it to me lied n said it was some fake gun he made n all this shit. Ended up giving her this nasty homemade tattoo gun I'd never let anyone come near me wjth and I had to get HIV tests for 2 years after just to make sure because honestly you never know!


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