# 'Babies are too expensive'



## EmyDra

Any of you WTT peeps keep hearing that line? I maintained that my bub barely cost a thing and the second (apart from buying another highchair) essentially cost us nothing.
Every family is different, I'm a sahm myself and we earn slightly less than 20k per year.

Here's a link to an article concerning how cheap babies can be if you let them be. I'm sure there's valid arguments in some cases but it grinds my gears when men use that as their primary excuse.


https://www.lifesitenews.com/mobile...st-how-i-raised-my-baby-for-the-cost-of-a-cup


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## babyluv82

Love it. I was thinking about most of that as well except the food.
Thank you for sharing


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## Belle25

Babies are as expensive as you want to make them
Do you really need a £1000 pram? 
Brand new cot? 
Designer clothes? 
Fine if you have the money, don't stretch yourself beyond your means if you haven't got the cash.

A baby needs love, shelter and milk first and foremost. 
Xx


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## amjon

Babies are pretty expensive. My twins go through $20 of formula a day (and that will only go up). They also each use about 20 diapers a day right now. I planned to EBF, but hardly produce any milk so they get almost all formula which we have no choice in. Not everyone produces enough to BF.


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## babyzoe

I think that it's a valid reason. You're a SAHM and with the salary you said I assume you live in a place where cost of living is affordable. You're very lucky. But for me and DH, we live in a place where the COL is high, we make a little over $140K USD per year and are still just making ends meet. When we have a baby I have to go back to work and almost half of my paycheck will go to daycare (it's $1500 per month here). When we budget things out, our baby is going to cost ust about 20K the first year. And that's scary. I wonder how any one in our city is able to afford children really. That said, I think once you have one, the difference between 1 and 2 or 2 and 3 isn't really that much.


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## Hollynesss

BabyZoe, my husband and I almost moved to DC because we both absolutely love the city, but what held us back was the cost of living. 

There are certain things that really bother me when people talk about how expensive babies are. The one that really gets me is when people factor in mortgage/rent. I'm pretty sure you are going to paying for a place to live even if you don't yet have children. For me, daycare will be the biggest cost as well since DH and I will both be working. In Florida it is a tad more reasonable, but still pretty high. Consider, however, that daycare actually gets cheaper the older your children are since they require less one on one attention. That will be our main extra expense!


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## MrsT&Ben

While I agree a baby is expensive as you want it to be there is no way in this planet we could afford for me to be a SAHM. We earn 33k joint and struggle like crazy. No we don't go on holiday and no we don't have a big house (a 1 bed flat). We're putting off having #2 because of money. :(


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## babyluv82

I was wondering about materinty pay where u guys live. Is there any?

Here in germany u will receive 65-67% of your average pay that u have received 12 months prior to giving birth. You will get that for one year if u r being a stay at home mom. You can get it for 2 years, the amount will then of course split in half.
If u were unemployed, the amount will be very low, i believe its 300 euro a month.

I believe that is good thing but we are still lose a lot of money due to two car payments, rent, insurance, electricity, Phone etc but its manageable.
In feb 2015 my car will be paid of and my bfs car will be paid off in summer 2015 so thats almost 350 that we will have when both cars are paid off.
Im already making lists of our expenses that we have every month and starting august 1st we try to keep a receipt of everything we buy, even if its just a soda. Therefore we can check how much we spend on "crap".

So basically i think we can manage pretty good when we have a baby. But so thankful for the maternity pay here, it helps a lot.


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## Hollynesss

It is up to your employer in the US what you will get for maternity pay. Employers are required by law to give women 6 weeks leave to heal, but the amount you are paid is up to your employer. Under the Family and Medical Leave Act, you are granted extra time and your employer must hold your job for you, but they are not required to pay you. You are only legally entitled to 12 weeks, anything extra is up to your employer whether or not they want to grant it. 

Where I work, your first 6 weeks of maternity leave falls under Short Term Disability. You must first use 40 hours of PTO (paid time off), then for the rest of that time you get 100% of your pay. For the second 6 weeks, you either use PTO or you don't get paid at all. You also don't qualify for this additional 6 weeks if you've been with the company less than a year. So really, you get 12 weeks off but only 5 of those weeks are freebies. For the rest you must use your earned vacation time. 

It really is a horrible system here!


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## RainbowDrop_x

Even before we had DD I was adamant that babies are as expensive as you make them. 

I've got friends that would only buy brand name items such as nappies/wipes/bath products but honestly there's no difference between them and non brands just that their more expensive!! 

The same with buggies/cots/clothes. Babies don't need to cost a fortune just a lot of people are too proud to buy anything but brands.


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## amjon

RainbowDrop_x said:


> Even before we had DD I was adamant that babies are as expensive as you make them.
> 
> I've got friends that would only buy brand name items such as nappies/wipes/bath products but honestly there's no difference between them and non brands just that their more expensive!!
> 
> The same with buggies/cots/clothes. Babies don't need to cost a fortune just a lot of people are too proud to buy anything but brands.

I completely disagree that diapers are diapers or wipes are wipes. I have no problem trying store brands and prefer some to the name brands but I certainly would never say they're all the same.


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## babyluv82

Hollynesss said:


> It is up to your employer in the US what you will get for maternity pay. Employers are required by law to give women 6 weeks leave to heal, but the amount you are paid is up to your employer. Under the Family and Medical Leave Act, you are granted extra time and your employer must hold your job for you, but they are not required to pay you. You are only legally entitled to 12 weeks, anything extra is up to your employer whether or not they want to grant it.
> 
> Where I work, your first 6 weeks of maternity leave falls under Short Term Disability. You must first use 40 hours of PTO (paid time off), then for the rest of that time you get 100% of your pay. For the second 6 weeks, you either use PTO or you don't get paid at all. You also don't qualify for this additional 6 weeks if you've been with the company less than a year. So really, you get 12 weeks off but only 5 of those weeks are freebies. For the rest you must use your earned vacation time.
> 
> It really is a horrible system here!

Thanks Holly.

Wow...so i guess we do really have a good system here when it comes to having children. I think i want to be SAHM for about 2 years and maybe have little job in the side to make some extra money. 

Over here the employer has to hold ur job for three years but its not the employer who pays u for the time of being a SAHM, its the state.


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## mollysusan

Great thread. And great article. :) Thank you for sharing.


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## Dragonfly

Boobs and a place to sleep for your baby is all you need. I bought in to it all when I had my first and realised what a waste of money most of it is. You really dont need some of that stuff and if you want it you can get it cheaper. I dont have loads of money and you can manage. I see so many guilty because they didnt spent loads of money, its not about that.


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## KatOro

Babies aren't too bad...it's the kids and teens they turn into that get expensive!


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## oceania

I won't be able to breastfeed for medical reasons, not everyone has the choice of breastfeeding. Apart from having to buy formula I'll definitely be buying almost everything secondhand, renting a carseat cause we dont have a car just to get home from the hospital by taxi etc...


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## loeylo

I am pretty sure I won't be able to breastfeed either (I have ridiculously sensitive nipples, to the point that I can't bear to have them touched, or even to touch them by myself!)but I will probably persevere for the first few days to get some sort of natural goodness into my baby, so obviously I need to factor in costs of formula (I already feel so guilty about not breastfeeding =[) but tbh it isn't a HUGE expense. We are already sorted for furniture as I have a mini drawer unit which I am planning on upcycling into a changing table, with a lick of paint and by attaching a changing mat to the top, then adding new cute knobs to the drawers. I have a mini wardrobe which matches the drawers, so I am going to do this in the same style. I need a rocking chair, which I am going to paint to match the furniture, but tbh I think I will need to go second hand for the style I want anyway. There is no way that my kid is getting loads of electronic toys (we can afford them, I just disagree with them) so our toys will not be a massive cost. I am planning on cloth diapering which is one initial cost, and maybe small fees to upkeep, but nothing compared to disposables. 
Purchase wise, all we really need is a travel system (willing to shell out on this and save elsewhere) a cot (not bothering with a moses basket or any of that, as baby will be in own room from birth) and for safety reasons a baby monitor! Clothes wise ... Well, that is what the baby shower is for! Designer baby clothes are ridiculous. We also need a changing bag (no big deal) a changing mat (again, quite cheap) some paint, some fabrics, bottles and some nice things to decorate the nursery. All in all, not too expensive. Oh, and I would probably like a baby bath as we both get bad backs a lot and using the big bath would kill my back!


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## EmyDra

It's not all about breastfeeding, but yes it does help if you can/want to do it. If we did have to buy formula and nappies we'd literally have no spare income though, literally nothing. Although its better now my eldest is potty trained.
Cost of living is pretty cheap where I am yes, but its proportionate to the wages, which are low. Working I earns min wage which discredits any tax credits we get, none of my family live here so after childcare costs and travel we'd be down or earn very slightly more.

I don't have a problem with obviously intelligent women assessing their means - but I do when it's just an excuse for the male/female counterpart to dismiss the idea, rather than consider it.


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## Eternal

amjon said:


> Babies are pretty expensive. My twins go through $20 of formula a day (and that will only go up). They also each use about 20 diapers a day right now. I planned to EBF, but hardly produce any milk so they get almost all formula which we have no choice in. Not everyone produces enough to BF.

This ... Twins nearly bankrupt us on formula and nappies alone, breastfed twins is not easy and one of mine had tongue tie so couldn't latch.


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## babyzoe

Hollynesss said:


> BabyZoe, my husband and I almost moved to DC because we both absolutely love the city, but what held us back was the cost of living.
> 
> There are certain things that really bother me when people talk about how expensive babies are. The one that really gets me is when people factor in mortgage/rent. I'm pretty sure you are going to paying for a place to live even if you don't yet have children. For me, daycare will be the biggest cost as well since DH and I will both be working. In Florida it is a tad more reasonable, but still pretty high. Consider, however, that daycare actually gets cheaper the older your children are since they require less one on one attention. That will be our main extra expense!

I don't know why anyone would factor in mortgage/rent. I agree with you that's not a productive way to go about things. LOL. I am actually from Florida originally; assuming you're not near Miami, COL is great for most people. Unfortunately we had to move because they were paying attorneys the same salaries as legal assistants and it wasn't feasible with our student loans. :-(



babyluv82 said:


> I was wondering about materinty pay where u guys live. Is there any?
> 
> Here in germany u will receive 65-67% of your average pay that u have received 12 months prior to giving birth. You will get that for one year if u r being a stay at home mom. You can get it for 2 years, the amount will then of course split in half.
> If u were unemployed, the amount will be very low, i believe its 300 euro a month.

Other countries tend to have decent maternity pay systems. Here it's up to your employer and even the FMLA that Holly quoted may not cover you all the time (like if you're at a company with less than 50 employees, or if you are a manager or higher-level). My company pays 4-8 weeks, depending on tenure, of paid time off at 66%. Before you can qualify for that though, the first five days you are out of the office must be unpaid and taken form "short term disability". After the 4-8 weeks, you can use any PTO that you'd planned to take (the max you'd have in a year is 19 days). And then after that any leave up to 13 weeks is unpaid.

It's a good benefit, but we would default on our house and student loans if I became a SAHM so I wouldn't be able to take any extra time off that wasn't paid.

It's also important to note that yes, while baby showers will provide you with a lot of things, you can't assume you'll get everything you'll need. We'll need a lot of stuff for the baby, furniture, clothes, bottles (for when I pump), and we budget as if we'd have to pay for it all ourselves. If someone buys some of those things for us, then great, we'll have money left over, but we didn't want to approach it the other way around and end up scrambling money to buy things that we didn't receive at the shower.


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## xVAP

Thank you so much for sharing this article!
I'm only 18 and will be moving in with my boyfriend in just little over a months time.
I am super broody, and not even a true WTTer yet as we've not set a date to start TTC. But one of the main things putting me off starting a family so soon was the finances. (That's a different story for OH though..) But I guess when its broken down it doesnt all add up to that much.

This makes me feel so much more confident to bite the bullet when OH is ready.


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## DandJ

babyzoe said:


> But for me and DH, we live in a place where the COL is high, we make a little over $140K USD per year and are still just making ends meet. When we have a baby I have to go back to work and almost half of my paycheck will go to daycare (it's $1500 per month here). When we budget things out, our baby is going to cost ust about 20K the first year. And that's scary. I wonder how any one in our city is able to afford children really. That said, I think once you have one, the difference between 1 and 2 or 2 and 3 isn't really that much.

Agreed!!! I live 30 miles outside of Washington, DC in one of the most expensive counties in the US, Loudoun county and the COL is ridiculous! DH and I combined make over $100k a year and still, factoring in a child is going to be pricey. I have been doing some research to help reduce costs; cloth diapers, breastfeeding (if able) and like what the article mentioned, taking advantage of the gifts people will give to us for a baby. 

I want to be a SAHM so badly but DH has said that we can't afford to be on one income. That's why we are saving now so when I do go on maternity leave (like Holly mentioned about US maternity laws, my employer only allows to use PTO for maternity leave and once that runs out, I don't get paid..) we can have money as though I am still receiving a paycheck. 

Blah- I hope we won't spend a pretty penny on our child when the time comes.. I'm already frugal so I don't think it should be a problem. I fully believe the first year of the child, they don't need clothes, just a onesie or naked since they're messy :laugh2:


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## itsnowmyturn

I have sat n done lists upon lists for this, researched the cheapest items etc. Iv started buying cloth nappies that are birth to potty, doing it early to get the best deals paid just over £1 each for them so far, I bought a second hand bedside cot that baby can be in until sitting or pulling self up for £9.50 a manual pump and some bottles with steriliser for £4.30 and factored in everything else as though bought new and the total cost would be about £350 obviously have to buy other things along the way such as bigger clothes and toy and high chair etc but the initial cost of bringing baby home and living for a few months is actually quite small. I don't intend to buy specific nursery furniture, u pay more for a smaller item lol Il buy cheap second hand bigger ones that me and baby can share. I think the child care might be it for me though but I will cross that at the time


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## calliebaby

Childcare, unexpected medical issues, education, extra curricular activities..etc. Babies may not be that expensive, but they grow to be.


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## SAmummy

calliebaby said:


> Childcare, unexpected medical issues, education, extra curricular activities..etc. Babies may not be that expensive, but they grow to be.

This exactly. I have come to realise that the baby stage costs almost nothing compared to when they are growing up ! Having said that, I always believe that things work out in the end. Even if it is tough when your kids are little, you will make it through and will never regret your decision to have them. I don't know of anyone who said they wished they never had their kids because they cost too much in the end ! :dohh:


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## itsnowmyturn

I still think they are as expensive as u make them, dont jump down my throat buuuut, I have had my nieces and nephews and done things with them for a week for barely anything except the nappies and formula but i will be cloth nappying and breastfeeding, you can do days our for next to nothing, here we dont pay for medical costs so that wont be a factor, I no there are going to be things that pop up that i havent thought of but if my mum can bring up 4 kids with 7 years between them...on her own on bare minimum then im pretty sure I can. I wont leave my kids to go without but I do no that.

u guys all have more experience than me and I love hearing your stories and getting tips and tricks off u, I think its all about individual parenting really
Im quite a savvy person with money anyway and i think that is where i will make my savings, I will make my kids things to do out of next to nothing and wont spend a fortune on bedroom stuff


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## babyzoe

itsnowmyturn said:


> I still think they are as expensive as u make them

Not trying to point you out specifically :flower: but this is recurring in this thread and I think it's an oversimplification. Even if I bought NOTHING for my newborn because I was fortunate to get all the cloth diapers and free laundry and baby supplies I could ever need, and I only breastfed, I would still be out $18,000 USD ($49.31 US per day) because of childcare costs alone. I think it's easy to make generalized statements like the above when you have the option of staying at home with baby..or you have free health care or both. But not everyone has that option.

Just sayin.


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## itsnowmyturn

babyzoe said:


> itsnowmyturn said:
> 
> 
> I still think they are as expensive as u make them
> 
> Not trying to point you out specifically :flower: but this is recurring in this thread and I think it's an oversimplification. Even if I bought NOTHING for my newborn because I was fortunate to get all the cloth diapers and free laundry and baby supplies I could ever need, and I only breastfed, I would still be out $18,000 USD ($49.31 US per day) because of childcare costs alone. I think it's easy to make generalized statements like the above when you have the option of staying at home with baby..or you have free health care or both. But not everyone has that option.
> 
> Just sayin.Click to expand...

I no its oversimplification but it gets right on my wick when people say oh having babies is far too expensive, save for ever and ever or you'll never be able to afford them. Yes the childcare is probably what will cripple most people but thats not the area im talking about im talking about when people say doing things with your child and taking them out and buying them stuff and all that costs loads when actually it doesnt. Childcare is only necessary for most people until about 3 years old so after u go back to work, its 2 years to pay for childcare. 

Iv been told for years that having a baby is too expensive and I should wait, sorry if this sounds a little too harsh but i think its about individuals and how they manage things not a generalised having a baby will cost you a bomb. but everyone is entitled to their own opinion and as I said last time Im sure there will be things I come across that I hadnt thought of :shrug:


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## ThunderPearls

I agree babies arent all that expensive... At the minute our household income is around £18,000 a year. Thats my OHs wage and my maternity allowance.

After initial costs of travel system (130) and clothes (thrift shops - 25p each babygrows/ 5 for £1) it really isnt expensive at all. I got a moses basket through family and a cot aswell as all my bottles and a steriliser ( if you go to the right groups then you are sure to find people wanting to get rid of old baby stuff often for free or a small charge - I got loads of dr.browns botles and another steriliser for free off a lady I just met that day).

Formula costs £10/week, nappies cost £5 a week. Luckily in England I get childbenefit which covers that. So really I am £5 up each week than before I had a baby! 

When it comes to childcare It will probably be more cost-effective for me to be a SAHM and have my own work from home type thing. 

I think a majority of people saying they can afford kids actually mean that they cant afford kids whilst maintaining their current lifestyle. I fail to see how someone on $140k a year could not afford a child if they really wanted one.


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## babyzoe

childcare can't be separated from child care costs, like it's different from clothes and diapers. it's all in the same bucket. so what if you can afford a stroller, if you don't have the money for someone to take care of your baby when you're at work, the state will take your baby off your hands real quick, right. 

obviously UK people have awesome maternity support, but for women in the US, we don't get a year off. We get 4-8 weeks...if you're lucky...and then you're back to work...so that's not 2 years of childcare, it's 4-5 (kindergarten doesn't start until then).

I agree that if you try really hard you can make supplies alone cost the same as a cup of coffee a day, but you can't ignore childcare...just can't. I think that the people who complain about costs are including the cost of childcare, whether they be parents, husbands, women, or coworkers.

again...not attacking you...I just quoted your post since it was the last one I saw.


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## itsnowmyturn

I cudnt agree more hollyness a healthy discussion about something important to us has been turned into a joke by some ppl n I accidentally thanked one if them Grrr.

Me n another member were messaging the other day about people like this as we spotted one who kept making stories up, they clearly have nothing better to do with their lives, and isn't the giro what old ppl get I.e. pension??


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## babyzoe

ThunderPearls said:


> I think a majority of people saying they can afford kids actually mean that they cant afford kids whilst maintaining their current lifestyle. I fail to see how someone on $140k a year could not afford a child if they really wanted one.

It's called Cost of Living. Until recently I lived in a 1 bed/1 bath condo under 800 square feet and cut coupons for groceries. Mortgages are expensive and not everyone is entitled to low/no cost education. After my "exorbitant" costs of student loans, house payments, and car payments are done, we're left with just enough for groceries, and one night out. I guess I'm being selfish by wanting to maintain such a luxurious lifestyle. LMAO.


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## Hollynesss

That's the first one I've seen, but wow, really?!


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## itsnowmyturn

babyzoe said:


> childcare can't be separated from child care costs, like it's different from clothes and diapers. it's all in the same bucket. so what if you can afford a stroller, if you don't have the money for someone to take care of your baby when you're at work, the state will take your baby off your hands real quick, right.
> 
> obviously UK people have awesome maternity support, but for women in the US, we don't get a year off. We get 4-8 weeks...if you're lucky...and then you're back to work...so that's not 2 years of childcare, it's 4-5 (kindergarten doesn't start until then).
> 
> I agree that if you try really hard you can make supplies alone cost the same as a cup of coffee a day, but you can't ignore childcare...just can't. I think that the people who complain about costs are including the cost of childcare, whether they be parents, husbands, women, or coworkers.
> 
> again...not attacking you...I just quoted your post since it was the last one I saw.

I no ur not attacking me its just two differences of opinions that's all and sorry if I appeared to be attacking u earlier.

I think the difference is where we live, I get 9 months paid maternity leave when I have a baby not full pay but its a lot better than most. I can also go bk on flexi time so fit ky hours around childcare rather than the otherway around n where I work we can buy child care vouchers on a salary sacrifice scheme so u pay for them before u get taxed so get taxed less n have already paid for ur child care. That's where I think we differ in opinion for those reasons, once a child turns 3 u can get 15 hours of free child care too and then off to nursery. 
Hope this clears up what I mean xx


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## babyzoe

itsnowmyturn - well glad that that's all cleared up!  lol


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## itsnowmyturn

babyzoe said:


> itsnowmyturn - well glad that that's all cleared up!  lol

Lol u n me both!! I felt bad earlier felt like I took my frustrations out on U n it wasn't u I was frustrated at lol.

Let's just say some aspects of having a baby COULD BE expensive lol that covers all bases then :haha:


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## oceania

I feel really lucky to live in Finland now, hearing from babyzoe about the cost of living in some areas in the US...I used to always feel jealous of people who had a large income on paper, but I guess I never thought of where that money actually goes. I will get 3 months mat leave with full pay and then 10 more months with 70%pay (and because of smaller taxes its actually more than 70% of normal take-home pay). Also the maximum fee for childcare is 264e/month for the oldest child, 198e for 2nd child and max 50e for all further children and these are the fees only if you make a lot of money...My take-home pay is around 2200e so max 10% would go to childcare fees, which I think is reasonable. I plan to go back part-time and have my mom babysit 2days/week when I'm working. Funnily enough, the government will pay me like 300 euros for not putting the kids in daycare, because it costs like 1300e/month for the government to take care of the kids in daycare, though we pay only the max 264e/month for the care. On top of that I will get like 200 e extra money from government for working part-time when the child is under 3 yrs old. So if I worked fulltime I would be left with like 1900e after childcare. Working part-time I will get 1200e salary (smaller taxes), 300e for not using daycare and 200e for working part-time -> 1700e. Why would I work 5days/week when working 2.5days/week gives me almost the same money every month? :wacko::haha:


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## Hollynesss

There are definitely advantages and disadvantages everywhere you live in the world. My husband and I live in another state with high-ish cost of living, so even though we make decent money, our budget will still be tight to cover child care. Our maternity pay system here is a joke compared to other countries! Maybe one day our country will catch up to others when it comes to maternal support and childcare!


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## itsnowmyturn

oceania said:


> I feel really lucky to live in Finland now, hearing from babyzoe about the cost of living in some areas in the US...I used to always feel jealous of people who had a large income on paper, but I guess I never thought of where that money actually goes. I will get 3 months mat leave with full pay and then 10 more months with 70%pay (and because of smaller taxes its actually more than 70% of normal take-home pay). Also the maximum fee for childcare is 264e/month for the oldest child, 198e for 2nd child and max 50e for all further children and these are the fees only if you make a lot of money...My take-home pay is around 2200e so max 10% would go to childcare fees, which I think is reasonable. I plan to go back part-time and have my mom babysit 2days/week when I'm working. Funnily enough, the government will pay me like 300 euros for not putting the kids in daycare, because it costs like 1300e/month for the government to take care of the kids in daycare, though we pay only the max 264e/month for the care. On top of that I will get like 200 e extra money from government for working part-time when the child is under 3 yrs old. So if I worked fulltime I would be left with like 1900e after childcare. Working part-time I will get 1200e salary (smaller taxes), 300e for not using daycare and 200e for working part-time -> 1700e. Why would I work 5days/week when working 2.5days/week gives me almost the same money every month? :wacko::haha:

wow that's amazing!! I get 8 weeks at full pay, a further 18 weeks at half pay plus smp but can't exceed 90% of ur normal income then 13 weeks at just smp and then can take 13 unpaid. Child care varies so much over here depends if ur in a city or town n whether there are more around u etc. Finland sounds like they really look after parents. I haven't looked into what we wud get from the government but I'm sure if I'm still part time it wud be decent, if I'm full time not sure it wud be anything


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## tuesdaysbaby

One thing I think re babies being expensive is the loss of income for a year. That's I guess what some people mean by "babies are expensive". For us, in NZ, we get 14 weeks maternity pay which isn't the full amount of my salary, it's not determined by how much I earn, so it'll be less of course! and then we get our jobs held open for a year which is excellent, I get a bonus from my teacher's union after the birth of the baby so that helps a lot too.

But: if I stay home for a year I'll still not earn any money. The money we get will of course be beneficial but it won't nearly be at the level it would be if I were in full time work. SO by that token, the baby is "expensive" as it results in a "loss" of income for that year.

Depending on how much you earn, the loss is greater I guess!

So you've got to factor in living in one wage, that's what I hear when people say babies are expensive.

I disagree that babies are expensive in the other sense: clothes, nursery items, furniture. Here probably our biggest expense will be a super safe car seat, & a pram.

We already have some items that have been stowed away as they were given to us, including a cot. So that'll save money.

I don't want to go all out re clothes and shoes (!! crazy, they grow heaps in a matter of weeks... and their feet don't touch the ground, but anyway) and all of the other incidentals as I feel this is unnecessary but this is all personal opinion.


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## tuesdaysbaby

That sounds like I'm saying babies are bad doesn't it?! Haha!!

I want many many many so I guess I'll be poor ;)


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## CatherineK

There are possible ways around childcare costs. I have three, my husband and I work full time, but I've never paid a dime for childcare. We agreed to work opposite shifts, and while we miss out on some together time, our kids always have one of us here. There are many off shift jobs available out there, and while they may not pay a Much as a current job, once you factor in childcare savings, it's often doable if you are willing and able. They are only young for a little while!
Other than that, I breastfeed and cosleep so babies cost little, but costs do increase a bit as they age! For instance, my older two absolutely love gymnastics class. I pay $100 a moth for that. Now they have invited my almost five year old into the boys team level training- but that costs and addition 100-200 a month! Is that necessary? No, but it's the type of stuff that comes up!


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## oceania

itsnowmyturn, Yeah Finland does. So do the other nordic/scandinavian countries as well. I think the government is concerned with the ageing population and wants people to have more babies, and our birthrates aren't too bad compared to some other European countries (not sure abt UK?), but like in Italy they have about one child per couple and around 2 here. Even if I had like 4 kids, daycare wouldn't be an issue. I probably wouldnt't have to pay anything at all.


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## michmash

A very interesting article. I've sent the link to my Hubby instantly! I just hope he reads it :)


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## RainbowDrop_x

amjon said:


> RainbowDrop_x said:
> 
> 
> Even before we had DD I was adamant that babies are as expensive as you make them.
> 
> I've got friends that would only buy brand name items such as nappies/wipes/bath products but honestly there's no difference between them and non brands just that their more expensive!!
> 
> The same with buggies/cots/clothes. Babies don't need to cost a fortune just a lot of people are too proud to buy anything but brands.
> 
> I completely disagree that diapers are diapers or wipes are wipes. I have no problem trying store brands and prefer some to the name brands but I certainly would never say they're all the same.Click to expand...

Oh no see to me they are. It's a bit like toilet roll, maybe I'm a cheapskate but I don't understand why people would spend nearly £5 on something that is used purely for wiping your arse and then flushing away. Had I have been a reusable nappy parent then yes I would have splashed out but to me that £3 difference between Asdas own and papers is £3 for something else, add up those £3's over the time your child is in nappies and that's alot of money!


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## itsnowmyturn

I'm the same, if I cud pay £2 for something that us £5 for a better brand I will go for the cheaper option, my nephew was in aldi nappies and they were just as good as the pampers they got given in presents


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## babyzoe

oceania said:


> I used to always feel jealous of people who had a large income on paper, but I guess I never thought of where that money actually goes.

You and me both. I used to think if DH and I made 80K, we'd be driving mercedes' and porsches, and have personal assistants and 500 inch flat tvs...lol. sigh!


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## mara16jade

I'm in southern California, and if you're not making $70k+ a year, you can definitely struggle. That's barely enough to pay mortgage, utilities, food and gas (I don't even have a car payment anymore). Adding a child is doable for sure, but that would mean we'd need to tighten our belt a little more and not go out to eat whenever we want or buy things without assessing NEED vs WANT.

Kids can be as expensive as you want (lots of clothes, designer clothes, formula, diapers, toys, etc.), but there are a lot of expenses that will become increasingly larger as the child grows. Babies grow fast and then as they get older and enter preschool they require more "things". Everything except college seems ok in our mind so far. But its the college part that we're already talking about. lol I have a small chunk of inheritance that I'm saving for their college days.


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## mara16jade

babyzoe said:


> oceania said:
> 
> 
> I used to always feel jealous of people who had a large income on paper, but I guess I never thought of where that money actually goes.
> 
> You and me both. I used to think if DH and I made 80K, we'd be driving mercedes' and porsches, and have personal assistants and 500 inch flat tvs...lol. sigh!Click to expand...

LOL yup. $80k doesn't get you too far anymore.


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## lucy_smith

I think kids are as expensive as you make them. I agree with parents working different shifts, thats what my parents did, my mum worked nights and dad did days. I think I will try and work for myself when I have children and do a few evening shifts to keep us going ! 
Surely though if your child wants to go to college and the parent couldn't afford it they would pay for themselves? I went to college and my parents didn't pay for it. My brother is in university, paid for it himself, worked his bum off and has now bought himself a flat ( paying a mortgage) in my opinion they are old enough at that point to pay for themselves. Am I wrong? Am I being selfish? :/


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## tuesdaysbaby

lucy I'm in NZ but here we get interest-free (at the moment) student loans so that university isn't restricted to those who can pay for it, which is fantastic in my view. I would rather it was free like it was in my parents' day but that can't be helped now. It is expensive and I have a large loan from my two degrees but the fact it's open to anyone is a huge barrier removed.

I didn't have university paid for by my parents then but I had a lot of help, food, money here and there, help with rent when needed. They supported me hugely. I also went back home when I was nearly done and I've never paid rent! I wasn't there long but Mum doesn't like the idea of kids paying to live at home, esp. when I wasn't working. I paid board at my in laws when I lived there, but I was working. 

I don't think you are being selfish. I think it's a good skill to have, managing finances, being taught value, how to work hard to pay for something. All holds you in good stead. But I do think parents need to be able to support the kids through that university time.

I'm not changing careers when I have children that's for sure. I absolutely LOVE my job as a teacher and hope to move up to management in the next 5 years. 

As a teacher there is obviously benefits re "holidays" (where I still work!) and the fact that the kids could come to the same school as me. I am not the type of person to cope with my husband doing opposite shifts.

In likelihood we will have me back at work after a year and have my self employed husband with the baby a couple days a week, MIL one day and perhaps day care two days a week... my Mum won't be retired by then (she's about 8 years off!) but I bet she'd love to be to look after babe.


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## loeylo

lucy_smith said:


> I think kids are as expensive as you make them. I agree with parents working different shifts, thats what my parents did, my mum worked nights and dad did days. I think I will try and work for myself when I have children and do a few evening shifts to keep us going !
> Surely though if your child wants to go to college and the parent couldn't afford it they would pay for themselves? I went to college and my parents didn't pay for it. My brother is in university, paid for it himself, worked his bum off and has now bought himself a flat ( paying a mortgage) in my opinion they are old enough at that point to pay for themselves. Am I wrong? Am I being selfish? :/

If I remember right, you are in Scitland, and we are the exception to the rule when it comes to university, college etc! My parents both work full time, yet my tuition fees were completely free. Even from people travelling to Scotland from elsewhere to study, our fees are capped pretty low - im sure it was about £1800 per year. In England, fees can be up to £9000! 
I wasn't entitled to a bursary as both parents were earning, but every single person in Scotland is entitled to a minimum loan amount - it had been 5 years since I applied for this, but it was roughly £600 (back then) and this was non income assessed. You can also apply for an income assesed topup, where they look at your parents income (or partner if over 25, or have been living together for at least a year) - I was able to top mines up to about £3000 per year, which paid my bills. My parents were supposed to contribute about £1000 per year, but I had a job so never asked unless I was struggling. 
I honestly believe in Scotland we have it so much easier than in England - universal free prescriptions, lower council tax and free university education.


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## babyzoe

lucy_smith said:


> I think kids are as expensive as you make them. I agree with parents working different shifts, thats what my parents did, my mum worked nights and dad did days. I think I will try and work for myself when I have children and do a few evening shifts to keep us going !
> Surely though if your child wants to go to college and the parent couldn't afford it they would pay for themselves? I went to college and my parents didn't pay for it. My brother is in university, paid for it himself, worked his bum off and has now bought himself a flat ( paying a mortgage) in my opinion they are old enough at that point to pay for themselves. Am I wrong? Am I being selfish? :/

I don't think you're being selfish. When I was younger I hated my mom for not helping with college...still do actually. I mean, I graduated with the bare minimum Bachelor's degree and ended up with $106K US in debt. So I promised myself that I would pay most, if not all, of my children's college expenses. But now that I'm older and I've barely made a dent in my student loans, I decided I don't want to have to pay my loans AND my kid's loans. So I'll save up a little and try to pay for room and board, but the for the tuition they can get loans as I did...and hopefully will have better luck with scholarships. It's frustrating watching all your friends get to do exciting things and you're stuck at home, but in the end, you do learn how to manage money, you work to get better paying jobs, and at the end of it, you come out in a really good position. At least that's the hope I'm clinging too. LOL.


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## Prissypeachcb

Bump


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## mara16jade

babyzoe said:


> It's frustrating watching all your friends get to do exciting things and you're stuck at home, but in the end, you do learn how to manage money, you work to get better paying jobs, and at the end of it, you come out in a really good position. At least that's the hope I'm clinging too. LOL.

And it's a good, solid, realistic hope. :hugs:
I went to the University of California, Irvine (UCI) and had to work every school break (spring break, winter break, summer break) and then during the school year Junior/Senior year. Did I like it? Hell no. Did I get jealous of my roommates having daddy's credit card and never having to work? Yup! :growlmad: But in the end I had real life lessons and had already waded out into the real world and was way more prepared than 99% of my friends. I had a small debt to pay off after graduation, but had a job lined up before graduation. 

When you have to survive and pay your own way - you learn how, and you never stop. I plan on instilling some of those values to my kids. My parents were very, VERY tough on me and it made me resentful of them. But I learned a lot. So I'm going to try my very hardest to push my kids to work as hard as I did without having them resent me. It'll be a very tough balancing act - but its important.


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## deafgal

My friend once told me you will never be financial ready for a baby.


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## deafgal

allergic babies sometimes force you into buying a more expensive brand.


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## deafgal

In this country, sahm (if she worked a small number of years) can't claim disability if they have cancer or something. My mom was never qualified for anything except breast cancer medicaid.So she was stuck and cancer is expensive as she had to make sure their place was livable (chemo can make her nausea and get infections)


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## Hollynesss

mara16jade said:


> babyzoe said:
> 
> 
> It's frustrating watching all your friends get to do exciting things and you're stuck at home, but in the end, you do learn how to manage money, you work to get better paying jobs, and at the end of it, you come out in a really good position. At least that's the hope I'm clinging too. LOL.
> 
> And it's a good, solid, realistic hope. :hugs:
> I went to the University of California, Irvine (UCI) and had to work every school break (spring break, winter break, summer break) and then during the school year Junior/Senior year. Did I like it? Hell no. Did I get jealous of my roommates having daddy's credit card and never having to work? Yup! :growlmad: But in the end I had real life lessons and had already waded out into the real world and was way more prepared than 99% of my friends. I had a small debt to pay off after graduation, but had a job lined up before graduation.
> 
> When you have to survive and pay your own way - you learn how, and you never stop. I plan on instilling some of those values to my kids. My parents were very, VERY tough on me and it made me resentful of them. But I learned a lot. So I'm going to try my very hardest to push my kids to work as hard as I did without having them resent me. It'll be a very tough balancing act - but its important.Click to expand...

Story of my life right here!! I didn't have any help at all from my parents paying for college. I may be in debt with student loans, but working full time and going to school full time taught some very important life lessons, and you know what? 1/2 of those kids I was envious of are right back where they started....nearly 30 and living with their parents! :)


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## mara16jade

Hollynesss said:


> I may be in debt with student loans, but working full time and going to school full time taught some very important life lessons, and you know what? 1/2 of those kids I was envious of are right back where they started....nearly 30 and living with their parents! :)

Sooooo true!! I see that a lot unfortunately. I may have been/sometimes still bitter, but I'm pretty proud of myself. :lol:


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