# Did you give LO the last name of FOB and regret it?



## Marlarky

Hi, Im new here but me and "OH" are in the process of splitting. Aaron is only 3 weeks old and just 3 weeks ago we were still as much in love as ever. (or so we thought?) Well now we are splitting and when Aaron was born we gave him "OHs" last name and my last name as his middle name. Now that we are splitting I want to change it back to my last name! We werent married. But in the same sense, I am too much of a caring person and I would feel bad to take the name away from him since he IS "OHs" baby, and he would never stiff me out on child support. I know he will support Aaron so what do I do?

What would you do/ have done??

Thanks all xx


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## purpledahlia

I personally wouldnt ever have a different name from my children. Im not sure what the rules are in states but over here you need to have both parents permission to change the babys name


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## Rhio92

I regret giving Connor FOB's surname :nope: Especially since the DV. I'd like it to be changed to at least double barrelled, but there's nothing I can do :sad2: He's on the BC, need his permission, and he's refused x


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## elsmogro

my baby is going to have my surname, im still with the fob (for how long is anybodies guess) but i want my child to have my name.


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## Snowball

I regret giving all my 3 DH's surname. Although I share the same surname, now our marriage is over I so want to go back to my maiden name but won't because of the kids names. If I'd have forseen him becoming such a cheating mummy's boy I would have never done it. I'm 99% sure this baby won't have his name, he's done nothing to act like a father recently so over my dead body will I treat him like one! If he even manned up and stood y his responsiilities then I'd rethink the situation but for a 'man' to spread his seed and then not stand by it makes my blood boil :growlmad:


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## billy2mm

can you just drop his part of the surname for now and keep it legally double barrelled for a little bit till the dust settles?

in scotland you can have any name you chose so though my kids have my ex-hubbys surname for the schools and doctors etc they have my surname till either he agrees or they turn 12 (i think) and they can change it legally themselves.

snowball - since you are still married i dont think you can give lo any surname other than the marriage surname.


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## chels24uk

I regret giving my son his dads surname. but thats only because I absolutely HATE having a different surname to him. I agreed to giving him his dads surname because I honestly and truely thought we'd be together forever, and now we've split I feel i HAVE to give my new baby his surname to as I want my kids to have the same surname. His family are great and I dont want to hurt any of them so im not going to change the surname to mine even though his dad has become a waste of space. Hes already said he would give permission but theres also the fact Joshua wants his sur-name to remain as it is (hes almost 6)


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## Mummyplus3

Its a tough one, E (3) has my surname and K (1) has her dad's I think its right to have the dad's surname im not sure why i do though? E has got my surname because FOB wasnt there to sign the certificate. 

and in a kind of weird but non-related way, me and OH have the same surname lol so all four of us are the same :)


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## OnErth&InHvn

If DS had his dads name, yes id hate it and go into debt and heck and back to get it changed. he has my maiden name though and it will stay that way.

Now the girls have my married name and when i leave DH- im going to hyphenate my name that way, it wont impact DS or the girls.


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## Kathleen

depends how long you leave it, my OH little girl was 2-3 years old when her mum decided to change her surname to hers and it broke my OHs heart. All because she was upset they broke up so it was to spite him.

I think now the law says you need permission from mum and dad if the birth certificate has been issued-this law came out just before OHs little girls name was changed.


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## JessdueJan

I do...I honestly believed OH and I would marry and we would all have his surname before too long :dohh:
Now OH and I have split and I really want to change Lucas' surname to mine but I feel awful asking his dad for permission as at the minute he is being quite good about everything and still being a decent dad!


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## jocelynmarie

After long and careful debating I've chosen to give my LO my surname. I haven't broken it to FOB yet because I know its going to break his heart, but at the same time, I refuse to have a different last name from my LO. 

Not looking forward to this conversation :dohh:


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## Marlarky

JessdueJan said:


> I do...I honestly believed OH and I would marry and we would all have his surname before too long :dohh:
> Now OH and I have split and I really want to change Lucas' surname to mine but I feel awful asking his dad for permission as at the minute he is being quite good about everything and still being a decent dad!

This is my situation exactlyyyy =\


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## lal

Gave my son mine, told FOB we could talk about changing it later...he's around a lot, but I still am leery to hyphenate it. Don't want my son explaining why he has "2 names" and everybody else has one. And he definitely should have mine. Also, gave FOB chance to discuss this while I was pregnant and he couldn't find the time. So I'll probably leave it.


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## Ginger84

Im naming my baby in my maiden name, even though i am techically still married. Husband left me and i decided there was no way i am having a different name to my child so i have had to change mine back by deedpoll quickly so i can register baby in this name. 

Personally I would hate to have a different name to my child especially if i was the primary carer.

x


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## nat4lie86

i very nearly named baby after fob, but named him after me in the end so glad i did. i think you will need fob to change name if he is on the birth certficate.


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## littlekitten8

I named LO after his father. Then he slammed me into a wall. So I left when James was 13 weeks old. Man did I regret giving him his name. Its taken until now to get it changed. Had to have his permission to do it even though the police were involved etc. Managed to get him to sign the paperwork this week so James will have my surname. If the father is on the BC you need their permission and signature to change it.


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## angelpkj

i really really really wanted LO to be named after FOB dispite the shit and us splittin i just felt it should be done

as time went on i changed my veiws 
i just thought it was best he had my surname because i'm bringing him up and hes living with me
i'm going to be taking him school and meeting his teachers 
and the doctors 
and on holidays

i don't see me baby and fob as a family i see me and baby as my family so we have a family surname to share


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## 112110

Ugh this is one of my biggest regrets giving my baby fob's last name. I was for some reason certain we were going to stay together forever and live happily ever after. :dohh:
STUPID. Now we are broken up with no chance of getting back together and I asked him if he would sign the papers to have the name changed since he wants nothing to do with LO. He is refusing just to hurt me. :finger::finger::finger::finger::finger:


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## syntaxerror

I planned on giving baby his surname even when he quit talking to me and disappeared for a couple months -- which shocked him. But I don't know...the idea of having a different last name than baby doesn't bother me at all. I guess it just depends on what you want?


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## GardenMagee

My LO's last name is hyphenated and I regret even doing that. He was pretty insistent on giving LO his last name so hyphenating it was somewhat of a compromise... even though he hated the idea. Now I regret it so much. He still sees LO, but I just wish she had only my last name. I wish there was a way for me to change it but his name is on the birth certificate and I know he'd never agree to it.


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## lal

Well there's my answer :) I might agree to hyphenating my son's someday, but what you can do is just use yours when you sign him up for anything. I think the only time they need the whole name is for opening a bank account...


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## Xuxa

i regret it badly!!!


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## wishuwerehere

LO has my name. There was never any question in my mind that she would have his...and it didn't take him long to back down, tbh. His surname is one of her middle names.
I thought that, as the one who takes her to the doctors, does all her paperwork, will take her to school etc. I should have the same name as her. I also thought if I marry someone else I'll want her to take that name, which wouldn't happen if she had his surname. I wouldn't want her to go to the same school as any future siblings and have a different name and everyone to ask about it etc.

As a side point, if LO has FOBs surname but isn't very involved or doesn't really do anything like Drs or school, you can have your LO 'known as' your surname, even if it isn't legally their name :thumbup:


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