# Hate having my breasts touched? (TMI) Advice please...



## designer

Hi everyone, sorry if this is TMI, but for most of my life, I have hated having my breasts, and especially my nipples, touched. It has been a problem in relationships I've had in the past. Even when they get brushed against in the shower or against clothes, I hate it, hate it, hate it. I don't know how to explain it, it makes me feel like I'm being violated, and gets me quite angry and turned off. :wacko: The only time I'm okay with them being touched is for a few seconds when we're in the heat of the moment, dtd, and I'm really turned on. Other than that I can't stand it, not even in foreplay.

I keep telling my DF I hate it but it's like he's deaf and doesn't really get it (yet). I have googled this and it looks like A LOT of women have the same issue.

Because of this I'm a little terrified of breastfeeding. Even seeing pictures of women breastfeeding makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm hoping the "feeling" will be different when my LO gets here. Anyone else feel this way in general but made it out okay nursing their babies? Please, any advice would be appreciated!


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## tickledpink3

I was fine with breastfeeding after i had my first. Now that I am pregnant with my 2nd, I can't stand for my breasts to be touched. I don't want my toddler near them or anything else for that matter. They are so sensitive that it hurts. I mean it feels like pins are being stuck in them, they hurt so bad. On top of that, when my toddler nurses, she likes to play and pinch the other nipple which drives me CRAZY! I feel bad but it hurts. I'm hoping when the baby gets here, the sensitivity will soon diminish and I won't be as bothered. I know it isn't exactly the same as you but kind of close.

How would you feel about exclusively pumping? I know some ladies in the breastfeeding forum have done it successfully and maintained a good supply. It would be a lovely option for you. Cross post this over in the breastfeeding section and hopefully some more ladies can chime in with some advice for you :hugs:


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## designer

tickledpink3 said:


> How would you feel about exclusively pumping? I know some ladies in the breastfeeding forum have done it successfully and maintained a good supply. It would be a lovely option for you. Cross post this over in the breastfeeding section and hopefully some more ladies can chime in with some advice for you :hugs:

I was thinking about exclusively pumping and have been looking into some hospital-grade pumps that are supposed to express more milk than average ones. Thanks for your reply!!


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## lunamoona

designer said:


> Hi everyone, sorry if this is TMI, but for most of my life, I have hated having my breasts, and especially my nipples, touched. It has been a problem in relationships I've had in the past. Even when they get brushed against in the shower or against clothes, I hate it, hate it, hate it. I don't know how to explain it, it makes me feel like I'm being violated, and gets me quite angry and turned off. :wacko: The only time I'm okay with them being touched is for a few seconds when we're in the heat of the moment, dtd, and I'm really turned on. Other than that I can't stand it, not even in foreplay.
> 
> I keep telling my DF I hate it but it's like he's deaf and doesn't really get it (yet). I have googled this and it looks like A LOT of women have the same issue.
> 
> Because of this I'm a little terrified of breastfeeding. Even seeing pictures of women breastfeeding makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm hoping the "feeling" will be different when my LO gets here. Anyone else feel this way in general but made it out okay nursing their babies? Please, any advice would be appreciated!

I'm a bit like you but breastfeeding does not feel the same way. The baby has their gums around your areola, if they are latched correctly you shouldn't feel anything on the nipple tip at all. 

Give it a go, if you don't like it, you don't have to continue.


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## MumToEva

Hey Hun. I'm the same - I can only stand my nipples to be touched when I'm really really turned on, and hubby knows not to touch unless I ask him to! :blush: With my daughter i was determined to try breastfeeding. Hubby said he didn't think I'd be able to manage it because they are so sensitive, and he was right, it was toe curlingly painful. My LO was early and tiny with hypoglycaemia which meant she never was able to latch anyway well for weeks. I tried pumping for a few weeks with a double electric pump that was leant to me by the midwives ( one of the dear, hospital grade ones) but without direct stimulation from Eva my supply dried up before she learned to latch. I beat myself up badly because I felt like I let her down, but with hindsight I don't know if I would have been able to manage it even if she could have latched. 

Not sure if that helps any, but just wanted to share my experience. I'd say give it a go, and give pumping a go if it doesn't work out, but just try not to put pressure on yourself the way i did as it couple result in PND etc.

I haven't decided what I'll do with this baby - will think about it closer to the time :shrug:


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## patch2006uk

I wouldn't set out to exclusively express-its not the easy option by any stretch! 

It really is totally unlike anything else to breastfeed your own baby. Go into it with an open mind, and your instincts will probably take over and overrule and 'ick' factor.


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## span

I hated (and still do) having my breasts, and especially nipples touched and was worried before I had my 1st. My hubby was also worried and thought it'd be too much for me to breastfeed but I never had any problems. Once my baby had arrived it completely left my mind and I never had any 'agitation' while feeding, apart from the last couple of weeks or so, when Meg was nearly 13 months and I was pregnant so had sore nipples and virtually no milk.
It's definately worth a try - it's a completely different feeling to any other kind of touch and it's so rewarding too. :flower:


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## MindUtopia

I can't exactly tell you how it goes yet, but I tend to feel the same way. I don't like them touched or even to be on show. I'd wear a bra just to have sex if I didn't feel like an idiot doing it. But breastfeeding is so important to me that I'm just going to get over it. I imagine it will be weird at first and probably uncomfortable, but I think that's normal for any breastfeeding mother in general. It just takes some getting used to. But I'm just not comfortable formula feeding, so that's the way it has to be. I think reading lots about breastfeeding, not only how to do it but about its role culturally and socially, has been so beneficial for me, as has going to breastfeeding classes. I also plan to go to a breastfeeding group while I'm still pregnant. I think the more you see it and learn about it, the more it becomes completely natural and I think that can only help with any discomfort you might feel about it.


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## designer

span said:


> I hated (and still do) having my breasts, and especially nipples touched and was worried before I had my 1st. My hubby was also worried and thought it'd be too much for me to breastfeed but I never had any problems. Once my baby had arrived it completely left my mind and I never had any 'agitation' while feeding, apart from the last couple of weeks or so, when Meg was nearly 13 months and I was pregnant so had sore nipples and virtually no milk.
> It's definately worth a try - it's a completely different feeling to any other kind of touch and it's so rewarding too. :flower:

Thank you lady! That is definitely reassuring and good to know!


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## designer

MindUtopia said:


> I can't exactly tell you how it goes yet, but I tend to feel the same way. I don't like them touched or even to be on show. I'd wear a bra just to have sex if I didn't feel like an idiot doing it. But breastfeeding is so important to me that I'm just going to get over it. I imagine it will be weird at first and probably uncomfortable, but I think that's normal for any breastfeeding mother in general. It just takes some getting used to. But I'm just not comfortable formula feeding, so that's the way it has to be. I think reading lots about breastfeeding, not only how to do it but about its role culturally and socially, has been so beneficial for me, as has going to breastfeeding classes. I also plan to go to a breastfeeding group while I'm still pregnant. I think the more you see it and learn about it, the more it becomes completely natural and I think that can only help with any discomfort you might feel about it.

Thank you so much. I agree with you -- it's important to me too and I feel I just need to get over it and give it a try.


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## I Love Lucy

Like you, I'm not 100% comfortable with breastfeeding but I'm going to give it a try at least the first few days when my milk hasn't even came in yet. If after giving it some time I'm still not comfortable I plan to exclusively pump. I feel strongly about my baby having breastmilk and if I have to do it by exclusively pumping then I will do the extra work that is required to do that. Maybe try to focus more so on wanting your baby to have your milk rather then thinking about how much you dislike having your breasts touched?


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## hopefully4

i was and am the same way i cant stand it at all but i have nursed all 3 of my daughters and love every second of it.. i kind of wonder if it is in our subconsciousness that our breast are for babys so no man needs to touch them lol


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