# Struggling with my 8 YO's behaviour, desperately need help :cry:



## Manchester_Lu

Hi,

My 8 year old son has always had a degree of challenging behaviour from about 2 years old.

He's a bright child and does well at school when he applies himself. He's the type of child though that all the teachers know for the wrong reasons.

He's had the typical reward charts and punishments dished out accordingly. 

Over the past year or two his behaviour has got far more demanding. He lies constantly, usually over small things and usually when he knows that I absolutely know the truth.

I feel like I'm in a constant battle with him. Unless I monitor and give him attention 100% of the time then his behaviour goes off the rails.

I feel so ashamed to admit that sometimes I wish I could walk away from him. I know I would never do this but it gets me so down that I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. 

It's hard to get across on a computer the extent of his behaviour but I'm at the point where I know I can't cope and need some degree of oputside help.

Where do I start? Should I be addressing it with the school or should I approach my GP? 

His educational needs and standard is absolutely fine, it's his behaviour and social needs that I need help with.

I'm letting him down as I'm so worn down by it all that sometimes I reach my limit and shout at him or say things that I shouldn't but it's all in the heat of the moment. I'm meant to be more mature as a parent I know, but it's so hard to stay positive when the pressure is relentless.


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## seoj

I'm so sorry hun... it sounds like a very challenging situation for sure. And it's normal that it would take it's toll on you as a parent. 

It certainly can't hurt to see your GP soon... and just express your concerns. But chances are, they would refer you to a child behaviorist. Or someone that may be better suited to assess the situation. 

Also- it can't hurt to look into child counseling for your son, and possibly some for yourself. If anything, you may be able to get the tools to understand his behavior more and help you deal with it. There are times in life we need that extra help. And personally, I highly recommend it :) It certainly cannot hurt, and may make the situation better overall for you both. 

Best of luck hun!!! :hugs:


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## v2007

I would get an appt with your GP, he may need a proper assessment. 

:hugs:

V xxx


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## mommy2lilmen

I have to give you a :hugs:
I am right there with you. My 9 year old is identical, minus the lieing. He doesn't lie as he is scared to. My 8 year old on the other hand lies but his behaviour is not as bad. Go figure got a mixture between the 2 as you do in one. I am sorry. Ive taken my 9 year old in at 2 years old also, he was diagnosed with asperger's and adhd. He doesn't appear to have asperger's no more so to speak but dr's still say he does. He does have adhd and I have to watch him closely as he gets out of hand and does it behind my back, as hits etc. I noticed he was different at birth. I blame him having RSV at a month old as the cause but no, looking back at his pictures and the kind of birth I had, I think thats the start. I would go to your gp and get him in to see a counsellor. A counsellor would be the best bet as their really aren't any specialists that would see him without, unless its different where you are, but over here they wont unless by a counsellor first.My son was on medication but I took him off 3 years ago as it was to much. My 8 yr old lies and hes so great in school, back talks and more. That boy I don't know if I can handle it but that only began 2 years ago, unlike my 9 year old which I have had 7 years now. I dot'n have much advice besides to go to a counsellor, get him assessed and see if there is anything bothering him as to why the lieing is there. I have to say one thing, give up the rewards chart. A child that lies, will use the chart to get what they want. Atleast here its that way. I have given up the rewards chart and allowed my boys to earn things without them seeing what they can and cant do behind our backs to get what is on the chart. LIke for instance if they want an 90 hr video game time then they have ot be good and if I see them being good then they get it. I used to have it on the chart and they would say its on the chart you must give it to me. Ya NO...Hard to explain. I also dont pay my kids.I just dont know what to say as I am going through the same thing and am sort of glad I hav someone that I can relate to. I to say things I dont mean. Its upsetting, and I cry about it daily. Literally. They get upset when they see me cry but I beg them to change. My older 4 also have a different dad that dont live with them and I beleive the attitudes and lieing came from that. I hate to blame it. 
Does your child have his dad living away to?
I would go to the gp, get an assessment and see if their are any underlying problems that are outside of home that is causing the lieing and stuff
:hugs:


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