# What age do MEN start wanting kids??



## youngone

In your experience (from friends, partners, brothers etc) what age do men start actively wanting children? as in thinking, talking planning _or_ just agreeing to starting a family.

I'm extremely curious- because I know women would likely be a lot younger when they want them- but I always got the feeling that men sort of 'wait till the last minute', or even just wait till it happens (unplanned) and its out of their control :shrug: Most men i've known don't even start thinking about it until their 30's.

I know many women who want to be youngish mums (21-26yrs) but no men except my OH. He's 22, and he wants one in the next few years- he'd let me start now if I wanted, but I feel like he is the exception??? (or is it that it isn't socially acceptable for men to admit they want to be young dads, so you don't hear about them?)

What age would your OH's have liked to start a family? *(say for arguments sake that you were in the perfect situation, therefore not hindered by your circumstances)*



...would just be interesting to know- your input is appreciated :flower:


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## tori0713

My husband was 23 when we finally decided it was the right time. At that point, I chose to wait a little longer than he wants to, because he is completing his active duty military service leaving us without jobs and insurance and whatnot, not to mention a move. I had been ready at 21 when we got married. We will probably be 24 or 25 when we have our first.


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## youngone

tori0713 said:



> My husband was 23 when we finally decided it was the right time. At that point, I chose to wait a little longer than he wants to, because he is completing his active duty military service leaving us without jobs and insurance and whatnot, not to mention a move. I had been ready at 21 when we got married. We will probably be 24 or 25 when we have our first.

Thats good then! I guess my OH is not so strange after all. I wondered if he really did want one or if he was saying that to make me happy and connect with me- because I couldn't believe at 22 he would be so willing. 

Thanks a lot of your reply :flower:


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## Noodlebear

When Rob and I originally talked about this he said he didn't want any til he was 30, I didn't want to start my family that late so was always a bit of a taboo subject in our house! But our little surprise came along 6 yrs early :haha: which was actually a few years too early for me too! But obviously now we couldn't be happier with our little man x


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## bumpin2012

My dh was very young, he wanted babies in his early 20's. Since I had to finish school, it gave him a few years, then he strangely decided he didn't want them at all! Obviously he changed guys mind again...Lol I think it varies from person to person, depending in how they "see" their family.


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## emmalovesnick

My boyfriend has told me that he wants to wait until next year when we have our own flat and we have qualified in our college, the case with me is that I would like to try now, and I know I am only 23 in September but I would rather start trying now while I'm young than later in life as I start to get older. Feel free to give me some advice ladies.


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## Pearls18

It depends I guess!! In my experience men don't tend to think about it much before hand. DS was unplanned but DH was very excited, beforehand he didn't even like talking about it, I can't imagine how long it would have taken if we had to actively choose when to TTC#1!


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## brenn09

He wanted to start a year ago, so about 6 months before he turned 26. He also knew it would be awhile yet so honestly I don't think he was really ready until these last couple of months- so age 26/27 for my OH.


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## wishuwerehere

My OH wanted mid to late 20s. He's just turned 28 so hopefully he'll be 29 when we have our lo (my daughter isn't his bio daughter) 
However, his brother had his first baby (she was planned!) at 21 so it varies massively :)


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## taybear

My OH wants to wait until after we're married (which I do too, though he doesn't want to marry until he is 30!) so I guess probably 30 or so.


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## melfy77

DH wanted to have kids in his early 20`s. He became a dad at 22 (2 days before his 23rd birthday) and is really happy about it. I`m older though (27), so I was totally ready


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## Elpis_x

Mine has actively started wanting them recently (as in, he has said he is actually broody too and would want to TTC now if it wasn't for our situation), he's 22. But he has always said that he's wanted kids and has always said he wants to be a young dad.


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## Cryssie

Mine was ready but not a 100% ready if that makes sense at 23. We were 24 when we had our son. And now we'll be 26 ttc again.


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## chazzmatazz

My OH is 26 nearly 27 and really wants to start trying however I think he has only really been into it for the last year and a half so I would say he was ready at about 25


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## Rachie004

My OH is 39 and I'm not sure he's actually broody yet lol. He talks about us having babies and 'when' it happens rather than 'if' but I don't think he has the sense of urgency about it that I do


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## Mies

My DH told me he was actually ready for children mid 2012 (he was 28, almost 29) even though I felt ready earlier (at 26).

He always felt life 'as he knew it' would be 'over' once we'd start having children. Besides, there were also housing and financial issues that had to be resolved beforehand.

Now we're nearly there! Yay! :happydance:


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## queenBEE007

I don't think there's a specific or right age a man would like to have children.. I've known young men in their early 20's that are better fathers than older man in their late 30's.. I think it depends on their stability of a job, home & some what of a financial security for them. In my opinion I think late 20's, early 30's they seem some what ready to settle down & have a home to come home to :]


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## Mrs Dragonfly

It's interesting, of all my friends who have kids the dad's weren't ready until the baby was there. OH on the other hand is 24, and he's ready for us to start trying for our first in our wedding month!


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## youngone

its very funny that us women have a different age _we_ think our OH's are 'ready' to what then they tell us they are. I fully understand this though- my OH thinks he's ready and I appreciate that BUT, not to sound condescending- I know he isn't. He has NO idea whatsoever of the gravity of parenthood. He has no idea of the financial implications, the lack of sleep or the strain it will put on our relationship- he also has no idea that he's terrible at dealing with conflict which would be an issue...

_But_ this is because he's never even really held a baby or looked after a child or ever had his sleep disturbed so he is really only going on whats he imagines it to be- which can be quite fantastical- which I fully understand because I get like that too- only; I can see both sides of the coin. 

He's 22 now- but honestly I think i'll be years till' he will be ready. Its hard for men I think- because often they don't have much real experience with kids or in depth education of the complexities of parenthood- like we get on this site. It's not their fault though :thumbup:


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## Mrs Dragonfly

youngone said:


> its very funny that us women have a different age _we_ think our OH's are 'ready' to what then they tell us they are. I fully understand this though- my OH thinks he's ready and I appreciate that BUT, not to sound condescending- I know he isn't. He has NO idea whatsoever of the gravity of parenthood. He has no idea of the financial implications, the lack of sleep or the strain it will put on our relationship- he also has no idea that he's terrible at dealing with conflict which would be an issue...
> 
> _But_ this is because he's never even really held a baby or looked after a child or ever had his sleep disturbed so he is really only going on whats he imagines it to be- which can be quite fantastical- which I fully understand because I get like that too- only; I can see both sides of the coin.
> 
> He's 22 now- but honestly I think i'll be years till' he will be ready. Its hard for men I think- because often they don't have much real experience with kids or in depth education of the complexities of parenthood- like we get on this site. It's not their fault though :thumbup:

This is a great way to put it. My OH says he's ready, and I know when the time comes he'll do it with pride but he's more ready for a toddler/young child rather than a newborn hehe


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## tearspawn

My partner is 33 and he still isn't ready. :(

He never imagined he would have kids, and it's hard to change those feelings about yourself. He's thinking about it seriously now, but it's just an incredible source of stress for him. He doesn't make a lot of money, and that probably won't change. Hopefully I will make more, but we don't know how that will work out at this point, and I'll be the one interrupting work to have these babies too!

(Thinking of the line from Fiddler on the Roof, 'Even a poor tailor deserves some happiness!')


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## younglove

Just like with women, it totally depends on the person... I'm not sure there is a set age. It depends on their personality, goals and life experiences.

My DH has wanted kids since we were about 18. If it were up to him, we would have started trying as soon as we moved in together (23), if not sooner. He would have been OK with trying even though we weren't ready.


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## sausages

DH was about 27 I think. We started trying when he was 29. :)


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## Itsychik

My DH was ready when he was about 29 - 30 (I was 26 at the time and was ready too) and we had been together for about 2.5 years at that point, but we waited until DH was almost 32 before we started TTC because we got married that year.

Now we want to TTC for #2... DH has been ready for months! But I want to wait another couple months.


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## lozzy21

OH wanted to be in his late 20's but we had a surprise and he was 24 when LO was born. We both want another now but are waiting till we get married next year.


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## Nearlymarried

My partner is 26 and has just become excited for a baby. We have been together tree years and have talked about it a few times but he hasn't been ready. Now he is and has actually said he is quite excited! I had two children from a previous relationship which possibly got him ready sooner! My children's dad was 23 when our first was born and he had been keen before I got pregnant with him but when I got pregnant second time round he wasn't too keen. It's so different for each guy I think and different circumstances change it too!


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## lucy_smith

My bf is 22 and not ready for a baby , which is kind of annoying because he is great with kids and babies, one of our best friends just had a baby and since she brought him home he has always been over and cuddling hugging him. He was even crying one day and went and picked him up to calm him down. It's so cute it makes me broodier !!


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## LovemyBubx

.......18 :shock:


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## RosieRosieP

My husband decided that 30's would be good time to start a family i think it is because his parents were that age also.

My parents were late 30's before i arrived due to fertility problems and i always liked the idea of being a late 20's Mom but that has been and gone :cry:


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## oceania

My dh is almost 30 and not ready yet ..his brother is 2 yrs olderand having his first baby later this yr and my dh feels like if we wait 2 more yrs we will be on "track" sigh...


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## Alyss

My husband wants kids, but we know we can barely afford ourselves right now, so we are saving up for a year or so and then trying. I'm guessing I'll be 25, DH 27 when we start trying. My parents were 27 when they had me and DH's parents were 30ish when they had DH, but DH is ok with starting as early as I want after we pay off a couple student loans and he has been in his new job for a year. While we are the oldest children of our families and none of our siblings are married or have children yet, all of our best friends are married with children so I think that is what has helped DH get more comfortable with the idea over the last year or so.


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