# Can I just blow off some steam about toddler group this morning?



## jen1604

Sorry for the rant girls,I just feel like an outcast at this moment in time :(

So,Mr Jen was working this morning so I thought we'd head to a toddler group we don't normally go to for something to do. I already felt like a bit of a weirdo, being the only person there with bright red hair,a lip piercing and a tattoo up my arm but was trying to chat away to people (mostly about random crap,like cheese and shoes etc etc).

Anyway Len was wearing dark green skinny trousers,a light orange jumper and had his little fleur print Itti poking out the top of his trousers (if you can imagine that colour combination you will agree he looked pretty cool ;) ). Which sparked the conversation 
'*Oh are you using them reusable nappies?*'
Me - 'Yep,I'm actual the cloth nappy advisor for the city :)'
'*Oh I can't be doing with the hassle'* (cue the other mums agreeing that they too can't be 'doing with the hassle') 
Me-'Oh its really no hassle,once you're used to it'
*'Nahhh,if people wanted to use them they'd sell them in the shop with the normal nappies'*
Me-'They do,they sell them in Tesco'
* 'Nahhhhhh*'(Lots more agreeing that they are infact not normal and they would never use them.)

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhh! I know its personal choice but seriously,I felt about 2cms tall,even if you HATED cloth why go out of your way to say it?! I wasn't telling these like 5 or 6 mums that I hated disposables?! SO RUDE.

Thank you,that helped :)


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## HeeBeeGeeBee

:hugs:

'Nahhh,if people wanted to use them they'd sell them in the shop with the normal nappies' :dohh:


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## teal

Sending you hugs :hugs: 

So rude :( I hate people calling disposables 'normal nappies' xx


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## New2Bumps

Typical baby group mentality - they found a common 'dislike' and jumped on it in order to make themselves feel more confident.

foooooooooooooooools ;)


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## special_kala

New2Bumps said:


> Typical baby group mentality - they found a common 'dislike' and jumped on it in order to make themselves feel more confident.
> 
> foooooooooooooooools ;)

Exactly this.

If find it sad when people cant past their pre concieved ideas of things


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## ellemonkey

jen1604 said:


> Sorry for the rant girls,I just feel like an outcast at this moment in time :(
> 
> So,Mr Jen was working this morning so I thought we'd head to a toddler group we don't normally go to for something to do. I already felt like a bit of a weirdo, being the only person there with bright red hair,a lip piercing and a tattoo up my arm but was trying to chat away to people (mostly about random crap,like cheese and shoes etc etc).
> 
> Anyway Len was wearing dark green skinny trousers,a light orange jumper and had his little fleur print Itti poking out the top of his trousers (if you can imagine that colour combination you will agree he looked pretty cool ;) ). Which sparked the conversation
> '*Oh are you using them reusable nappies?*'
> Me - 'Yep,I'm actual the cloth nappy advisor for the city :)'
> '*Oh I can't be doing with the hassle'* (cue the other mums agreeing that they too can't be 'doing with the hassle')
> Me-'Oh its really no hassle,once you're used to it'
> *'Nahhh,if people wanted to use them they'd sell them in the shop with the normal nappies'*
> Me-'They do,they sell them in Tesco'
> * 'Nahhhhhh*'(Lots more agreeing that they are infact not normal and they would never use them.)
> 
> Gahhhhhhhhhhhhh! I know its personal choice but seriously,I felt about 2cms tall,even if you HATED cloth why go out of your way to say it?! I wasn't telling these like 5 or 6 mums that I hated disposables?! SO RUDE.
> 
> Thank you,that helped :)

Are you me? :happydance: 

I ventured to a toddler group once. 

Never again, felt like it was school again.


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## CelticStar

I'm not pregnant yet but have already decided that I'll be using the cloth nappies, I just prefer the idea of "proper" nappies (see? The cloth ones are the proper ones really!)

Ok so it's a bit more work with washing them but really? Better a little more work than spending a huge amount of money on something you just throw away!

Some people are just ignorant, if they had tried cloth nappies and then decided they weren't for them then fair enough, but to just write it off without making an informed decision is silly in my book!

I therefore agree with your rant and find it justified LOL!


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## modo

Wow :shock: No one has ever been that bad with me. 

It usually gets to "good for you for doing it but it would be too hard for me" and I explain that it's easy and no inconvience to me. At this point they at least feign interest. No one has ever said Naaah :shock:


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## princess_bump

Oh Jen :hugs: what rude nobbers!! Ok fair enough saying they aren't for you but to deliberately go on, that's pathetic! Obviously they aren't happy with their choice! Vile!!! Wish you lived closer lovely!! 

I obviously haven't had this, but my extended family respect my decision and ask questions, these woman's behaviour was worthy of the school yard! Though i do remember mil being a bit like this with maddi in cloth :nope: 

Xxx


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## Lightworker

That kind of situation can suck, but I think it could have provided the perfect platform for you to dispel myths about cloth-nappies. You never know, maybe some of the moms have reconsidered and wandered down to Tesco to have a look. You may have converted some.

You know that old adage about "new" ideas - First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. Haha. I would consider it a positive experience.


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## Snuffy

I like to think I would have gone BAA-AAA-AAA-AAA at them and left.

I wouldn't but I'd like to :haha:


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## Snuffy

And I wonder how many of them then went home and googled cloth nappies?


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## fluffpuffin

:dohh: ignorant lot. How rude though.I always get comments on how funky they look when I go to play groups.


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## Thumper

Bunch of w***k**s.
Oh, sorry is that not the mature response? I reckon Leni must have looked bloody brilliant! Sounds like he was rocking the colours. Gah! So frustrating, gr gr gr gr. Not much else to say really.


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## Palestrina

I use disposables but I find the idea of cloth diapers really compelling and have been thinking about trying them at least on a part time basis. Don't feel bad, those women actually envy you. When they go to such length to tell you how bad it is it's probably because they feel guilty that they use disposables so they overcompensate by trying to make you feel like YOU'RE the one doing wrong. It's not worth arguing about it if they're going to be so judgemental.


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## Thumper

That's the annoying thing, them being so down on disposables. They could've at least feigned intrest. It's bot like you were dissing them for sposies. The whole it's too much hassle line is so annoying, they really aren't much hassle. It surprised me how easy they are. And soooo pretty :D


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## booflebump

*hangs head in shame* but at one point, I didn't understand the 'fuss' about cloth nappies, and couldn't fathom how they would be any easier to use than disposable *really hangs head in shame* But after a bit of education (through friends/here/own research) and getting my hands on some today over at my pregnant chums and learning all about inserts/wraps etc, I now think they are great and can't wait to get the chance to use them myself. So I can see how situations like the one you faced today come about. 
It's like when you suggest an idea, or speak of a place/person/company etc and the person you are speaking to says 'well, I've never heard of that/them' and basically insinuates that if they don't know about it, it isn't correct/normal. 
Education is key - perhaps they might like a cloth nappy demonstration at the toddler group one morning?

xxx


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## wigglywoo

This is exactly why I would never go to a baby/toddler group!


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## Snuffy

So many people have informed me that they couldn't be doing with the hassle of reusables. Because chucking a mesh bag in the washing machine and switching it on is so much more fannyish than folding up a nappy, bagging it, putting it in the nappy wrapper, then every few days not breathing through your nose while you transfer the contents to the outside bin right?


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## wigglywoo

Ewww. Stinky bins full of disposable nappies. The very thought makes me want to :sick:


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## jen1604

booflebump said:


> *hangs head in shame* but at one point, I didn't understand the 'fuss' about cloth nappies, and couldn't fathom how they would be any easier to use than disposable *really hangs head in shame* But after a bit of education (through friends/here/own research) and getting my hands on some today over at my pregnant chums and learning all about inserts/wraps etc, I now think they are great and can't wait to get the chance to use them myself. So I can see how situations like the one you faced today come about.
> It's like when you suggest an idea, or speak of a place/person/company etc and the person you are speaking to says 'well, I've never heard of that/them' and basically insinuates that if they don't know about it, it isn't correct/normal.
> Education is key - perhaps they might like a cloth nappy demonstration at the toddler group one morning?
> 
> xxx

Eeeek Boofs, so excited to hear you'll be considering cloth :D Fabulous!

Thanks girls, normally I have no problem with telling people all about cloth, I think it was just being faced with 5 or 6 people who were all so SURE sposies are normal and cloth isn't :dohh: :wacko: 

Thanks again lovelies xxxx


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## Snuffy

I think opinions are slowly turning where cloth nappies are concerned. 3 years ago most people just smirked when I said we were using them.

Then a few weeks ago a colleague who is due around the same time as me mentioned that her sister (also due around the same time) was interested in cloth, and my colleague thought it was all about soaking terries so I took one of my BGs in to show her, an hour later she was asking me for links to websites so she could look into it more.

And I was chatting to a fellow cloth mum on Facebook last week and another friend of mine asked what we were talking about and said she would be interested in hearing more about them when she has her next baby.


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## wigglywoo

I used them on DD from when she was born 7 years ago! There have certainly been a lot of advances in styles since then.


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## Aunty E

It was a bit like at at my NCT classes with Ted. I just didn't mention it again as I felt like a freak. I took a selection in to show them, not just flat Terries which scare people, but some fluffy Sandys and a couple of eBay cheapies :(


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## T-Bex

Gah, how rude. I think I've been lucky where we are at the minute, because when a lot of people notice our cloth, they ask to have a look, and we've had a fair few clothy converts lately, who just didn't know anything about them.

That's just not nice, though, Jen. I think he sounded like he'll have been to coolest kid there ;)


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## Eala

I don't understand why they had to use the word "normal" anyway?! I hate that word :dohh: What's "normal" for one person/family/baby is not going to be "normal" for the next. If I could ban one word from the English language, that would bloody well be it :rofl:

Big hugs for you Jen, it doesn't sound like a pleasant situation. I never liked baby & toddler groups. Much preferred classes where you at least had something in common with the other parents, in that you were all there for the same reason!


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## aliss

Yep, a lack of education.

I also have people telling me that they couldn't be bothered with the hassle of wearing a toddler in an ergo, while they spend 10 minutes fussing about and hauling out a huge stroller :rofl:

At the end of the day, what can you do.

I suppose it depends on your cultural perception too. Funny enough, my mom still can't comprehend the idea of disposable diapers - when Alex was first born, she brought a bunch of pins over as she thought she still had to fold & pin his terry cloth! Oh my, how 1984!!!! :rofl:


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## Palestrina

aliss said:


> Yep, a lack of education.
> 
> I also have people telling me that they couldn't be bothered with the hassle of wearing a toddler in an ergo, while they spend 10 minutes fussing about and hauling out a huge stroller :rofl:
> 
> ...:

We went for dinner at a friend's house and since they live 2 blocks away I put LO in the moby wrap and walked over. They thought it was so freaky. When it was time for us to go they insisited that because baby was asleep that we should go and bring our car around to take him home without waking... how would that be easier? Walk home, get the car seat, strap it into the car, drive 2 blocks over, find parking, take it upstairs to their apartment, wake baby, strap him in, take him out to the car, strap the car seat in, drive home, unstrap the car seat, take him into the house, unbuckle him.... and that's supposed to be easier. And you call me weird for babywearing? I just tucked him into my moby, covered him up head to toe because it was a little chilly and walked home. He never even woke up.


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## minties

Well I changed to cloth just after Thomas turned 9 months old, and I can 100% say that it is EASY, FANTASTIC and DEATH TO ALL DISPOSABLES!

I can't believe that I used sposies for so long. I'm using some 'ebay cheapy' pocket nappies and I just love them. All I do is give the dirty nappy a brief rinse under a cold tap and chuck it in the wash. They don't even need the rinse, I just do it for fun. Yes, I love washing them!


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## cissyhope

take no notice :hugs: totally know where you are coming from,its very disheartening when people are so narrow minded! x


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## Kate&Lucas

Snuffy said:


> I like to think I would have gone BAA-AAA-AAA-AAA at them and left.
> 
> I wouldn't but I'd like to :haha:

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

I have to agree though, I'll bet some of them were intruiged, especially after seeing a pretty Itti!

I've only really had positive comments tbh. Anything negative would result in The Death Stare.
I do find reusables a hassle - and I find disposables a hassle. All nappies are a PITA. Might aswell have a pretty PITA.


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## Eala

Kate&Lucas said:


> I do find reusables a hassle - and I find disposables a hassle. All nappies are a PITA. Might aswell have a pretty PITA.

I LOVE this :rofl:


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## Snuffy

Kate&Lucas said:


> All nappies are a PITA. Might aswell have a pretty PITA.

I am SOOOOOO using this :haha:


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## Croc-O-Dile

My favorite is "it's because you're young and can't appreciate a good thing." 
"So putting unnecessary chemicals on my baby, polluting the planet I live on, and constantly being broke because nappies cost an arm and a leg is a good thing, eh?"
"I used disposables and nothing bad happened to my child!"
"How many times did they get a rash? Cause Liv's only got a rash once....in disposables."
"....."


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## modo

GRRRR I can't believe they said "because you are young". My uncle had an unexpected surprise baby 2 years ago (Their children were about 16, 14 and 10 at the time) and they use dummies, give forumla to their now 2 year old and use sposies. 

That's fine because it's their baby and I don't judge them, they are both good loving parents. Except he says to me that because we are "young" (we are both in our early 30's!!!!) we weaned Bobby off formula at 1, stopped giving a dummy at 3 months (it stopped him sleeping!) and we use cloth. That they know better not to do this things that are hard work because they are more experienced parents GRRR.


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## Snuffy

Ha, well a little research on their part would probably reveal that cloth nappies have moved on a long way even since their last child was born, never mind the first.


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## lynnikins

I was talking to a mum at the nursery about it the other day she aggreed if she had more than one kid she would look into it caus it sure is ALOT cheaper than 2 in sposies lol


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## happilyhappy

when people at our baby group find out we use disposables they always say "oh they are hard work aren't they" and when I ask why they think that all they know about is terry nappies that their mums used and it all seems too hard. I then show them a BG and they can't believe how nice and easy they are. I think lots of people are just uneducated in modern reusables and are nervous of any ideas that are different to what they know so get on the defensive. I agree that it is not nice to have a number of people almost ganging up on you but like others have said you may have given a few of them something to think about and they may have gone home to look into it. Sometimes its easier for people to jump on the bandwagon and agree with others than to be the one person to have said they thought what you were doing was great. It is like being at school unfortunately :dohh:

I am the only one at our baby group that dresses my lo in bright colours and I love it - his outfits seem to cheer everyone up :happydance:

I have found a couple of people there that have similar views to me - natural remedies, babywearing, not leaving lo to cry etc, I didn't think there was anyone but they tend to keep their views to themselves (I think they are worried other people would dismiss their ideas) so i had to hunt them out :haha:


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## T-Bex

I love my cloth, I love extended BFing (best way *ever* to calm down an upset/teething toddler), and I love the fact that I'm not screwing the planet. Makes my day slightly easier to handle, thanks all the same.


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## Hayley90

and this, miss jen is why i have never and will never step foot into a baby, toddler or play group. 

hope they didnt trample on your confidence, you make me want to move to your city... either that or be the advisor for Kent. oh wait, im working on that :lol: 

in all seriousness, ive had a mixed bag of comments. good from those who know me, and take the time to ask. bad from eejits in mothercare changing facilities who think the sun shines out of their kids disposable arse, and that my kid 'looks like a gay boy in furry knickers!' - yes, this was said to me. :nope: xx


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## jen1604

Hayley90 said:


> and this, miss jen is why i have never and will never step foot into a baby, toddler or play group.
> 
> hope they didnt trample on your confidence, you make me want to move to your city... either that or be the advisor for Kent. oh wait, im working on that :lol:
> 
> in all seriousness, ive had a mixed bag of comments. good from those who know me, and take the time to ask. bad from eejits in mothercare changing facilities who think the sun shines out of their kids disposable arse, *and that my kid 'looks like a gay boy in furry knickers!' - yes, this was said to me.* :nope: xx

Thats so sad :nope: People are such idiots!


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## Lover

Hayley90 said:


> and this, miss jen is why i have never and will never step foot into a baby, toddler or play group.
> 
> hope they didnt trample on your confidence, you make me want to move to your city... either that or be the advisor for Kent. oh wait, im working on that :lol:
> 
> in all seriousness, ive had a mixed bag of comments. good from those who know me, and take the time to ask. bad from eejits in mothercare changing facilities who think the sun shines out of their kids disposable arse, *and that my kid 'looks like a gay boy in furry knickers!' - yes, this was said to me.* :nope: xx

:shock: OMG! That's awful :nope:

What did you say back? I think I'd cry lol!


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## Thumper

That's incredible. I would have laughed in their faces... then probably said something really rude back.
I'm proud of my gayby :smug: AND his furry knickers :haha:


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## Hayley90

I don't remember, something along the lines of 'I'd rather him be gay than a Narrow minded c**t like you' :blush:


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## Thumper

:rofl:


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## Hayley90

:blush: 
It was almost a chavvy slanging match, however I'm not a Chav, and she was gobsmacked that little quiet me who had stood there listening to her insult me had said anything at all, let alone that :blush:

Felt bloody good too...


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## Hayley90

And then I cried because I was embarrassed... So yes, Lover, I did cry :(


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## modo

What a B***h!


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## princess_bump

:shock: omg hayley :nope: so glad you said something back! i think i would have just cried, in shock, rather than thought of a reply!


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## T-Bex

Thumper said:


> I'm proud of my gayby :smug: AND his furry knickers :haha:

:rofl:


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## molly85

Hey was on the hnt for something else and read you intial post lol where do these woman hide. Apologies for being a disposable bottle user but I've ruddy seen them right next to the landfill ones. This is exactly why there i s a them and us mentality rather than all mums doing whats best for their family. I bet yo child had a beautifully decorated butt not a rather weird looking eyore


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