# Please help, I'm obsessed with wanting a baby.



## piglet167

Please help, I'm obsessed with wanting a baby.
Hey, I'm hoping some of you can give me some and advice and hopefully try to understand how I feel, I felt of all places this was the best place to come. 

I turn 19 in a couple of weeks, and for a few months now I have become obsessed with wanting a child and it's getting to the point where I'm convincing myself I'm pregnant and I can't think about anything else.

I have been with my boyfriend two years next month, and we are very much in love. I know this is probably a big part of why I want a baby, because the idea of a family brings me so much joy just thinking about it. But anyway. I know it's wrong to want a baby, and a part of me is sensible enough to know I'm not in a position to have a baby. Me and my boyfriend don't have our own place, we're not in stable careers (I'm just starting to work out what kind of career I want and am meant to be starting a distance learning degree in October) and don't have the money to support a baby. My Mum struggled to bring up me and my young sister when our Dad left her unexpectedly, so we lived on benefits because of this and my Dad never wanted to know us, so I have always always wanted to have a stable home life and family when I have a baby so they can grow up with both parents and be comfortable financially. 

Me and my bf have been through a lot and our relationship isn't perfect, but we both accept each others flaws and something in my gut is certain we both want to get married one day. I know he does too because he has talked about our wedding etc. I don't like to say "he's the one" because that does sounds naive, but I'm pretty sure we're very good together. 

A couple of weeks ago my boyfriend confessed to me he has been feeling a little broody and we had a lighthearted chat about it, but it was nothing serious, we both agreed it isn't right to have a baby at the mo. But we ended up having unprotected sex, and afterwards my boyfriend was really worried and ended up saying "I'm not ready, I'm really scared" and this scared me. I know I'm not ready either. I'm confused. 

But anyway, I didn't think I would get pregnant at all because I have very irregular periods and haven't had a period for months and months, so I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant. I know this was very silly of me, but it's done now. 

Since then I haven't had a period as usual, but I've been obsessed with the idea of being pregnant. I'm terrified of being pregnant but at the same time want it so much. Every night since then I have had dreams that I'm pregnant, every night I go to sleep with the feeling that there's a baby inside me, which makes me feel so happy. I've even started having naps when I feel tired in case I am pregnant and have refused alcohol in case I am. I have constantly read up symptoms, watched videos on youtube, and have been getting a strange queasy sickly feeling every afternoon and a headache, but it's as if I'm convincing my body I'm pregnant and actually having the symptoms. 

I haven't done a test. I'm terrified too. I'm terrified of it being positive, but the thought of it being negative is equally as scary to me now. I feel so confused and don't know what to do. I am actually getting emotional because I'm so scared. There's everything wrong with me getting pregnant right now, and I don't want to, but at the same time I do. I have always been told I'm a natural with children and every time I see a baby I get an unbearable yearn to be a Mum. It's actually really getting to me . I don't know what to do. I know it's natural to be broody. But I can't think or concentrate on anything else. 

Does anyone have ANY advice at all? I could really do with a second opinion on this. What do I do? I feel so emotionally confused, and also very guilty because I know it would be wrong to have a baby young in many ways. But I can't think of anything else. 

I'm also terrified of losing my boyfriend if I am pregnant. One half of me thinks he would never desert the baby, but another part of me thinks he would freak out and end up falling out of love with me, and our relationship would become so stressful we would fall out of love with each other. I couldn't bare that, I love him more than anything. 

:'( help!?
Status: Online


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## Cassie0454

The only advice I have is to try and take your mind off it. Much easier said than done, I know. If you have the ability go see a therapist and talk about why you are feeling obsessed and try to work through it. Look into getting a hobby or start making some plans for other things, like a vacation or a particular job. Good luck.


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## rjm09

Taking the test would make things easier. Well maybe not entirely,but you will drive yourself crazier going through the scenarios in your mind whether you are or not. You need to deal with the results first.


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## Joannaxoxo

I used to feel the same way for many years. I knew when I was 16 that I really wanted a baby but that was also followed by the thought "one day". I'm 24 now, and have been with my hubby for 8 years (married for 10 months now). All though college I felt the same way you did. I would think the slightest thing was that I was pregnant and almost convince myself that I was, but at the same time I knew I needed to wait a little longer, though thinking I was pregnant made me feel happy at the same time. I'm not sure what I did to take my mind off of things except to perhaps repeating in my mind "one day". I also made plans with my then BF, we decided when college was done we would get married, then when we got married we said we'd TTC once we bought our house. So I think keeping a goal to be acheived in sight helped me.


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## almostXmagic

its good that you realize that you are not in the position the raise a baby yet. i agree with Joannaxoxo, having a goal in mind will help so much. whether that goal is to get married, pr buy a house, or finish college, or even a TTC date. that way you have something to work toward and know that you are getting a step closer each day. you want to make sure what you are doing is best for your child, not for you. so even if waiting is hard, if its best for your child then its worth it. thats a huge part of being a mother. also, i would go ahead and take the test. the longer you wait the harder its going to be and the worse it will feel if you arnt pregnant. just rip it off like a band aid.


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## libbymarks198

wow, you sound like i was when i was 17!! It was all i thought about and read about, it was my whole life! I did end up getting pregnant to my OH but sadly lost the baby at 7 weeks... after that i tried to focuss on something else but it only lasted a few months and we had started to ttc, i got pregnant and then lost the baby at 11.5 weeks.
Now i know it was a bad idea to try so young, and have set some goals that i want to achieve before we start ttc again.. I still think about having a baby all the time but i dont feel as strong as i used to about it now, I have so much I want to do first to ensure my baby has a great life. 
I know waiting is so so hard but it will be the best thing for you and the baby, no one wants to struggle for the rest of their lifes, you would not be able to go out with your child to even go to the zoo or see a movie as you would not have enough money. even their birthdays you would dread as you can't afford to buy them presents.. i would say try really hard to get a hobby or something, i work with children so that helps me out makes me not so broody as i get to cuddle little babies everyday and then go and see how annoying 2 year olds are and it puts me off being broody haha... I also did distance study it is very intense and you will spend a lot of your time studying which will keep your mind off things, save up and travel, or buy a house..

good luck


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## I Love Lucy

I completely understand where you're coming from because I experience these kind of feelings every once in awhile and it's hard I know. My OH has been great at helping me through it. Have you and your boyfriend talked about finding a place together? When OH and I decided to move in together searching for places, picking out furniture, dishes, decor, etc. really helped distract me and it was something I was able to get excited about because it was something we were actually ready for. Now that I'm 21, what's keeping me distracted is my school and my search for a house rather than an apartment as well as furniture, picking out paint colors, appliances, etc. If you and your boyfriend decide to move in together, consider adopting an animal if wherever you move to allows it. OH and I adopted a puppy a few months after moving in and it is very much like having a baby, believe me. A few nights of no sleep due to a whiny puppy will definitely change your mind about wanting a baby right away. Recently I got on the pill as well, knowing that it's more unlikely that I'm going to get PG from sex has made the thoughts that I might be PG occur a lot less often and it has also made my sex life with my OH much more enjoyable because we're not worrying about getting PG. I hope the stuff that has helped me deal with this also helps you. Just remember you're not alone, their are other people who know exactly what you're going through because they've gone through it too.


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