# Who is thinking about or planning...



## InformedMomma

An unassisted childbirth? My partner and I are just beginning to interview homebirth midwives and are hoping to find a hands off midwife who will help only if I ask or if I or baby absolutely need it. I'm also seeing a midwife that attends births at the local birthing center for my prenatal care so I'll have that relationship in case I want to or have to transfer. BUT if we can't find a midwife who will completely respect our wishes I'll be going for a UC. I feel safer without the unnecessary interventions of cervical checks or pushing my placenta to be born automatically after baby come instead of letting it happen naturally. 
Who is with me?
Any mamas going to UP/UC route?


----------



## Feronia

Talk to NDH! She's on this forum and is planning to go unassisted. She posted a little ways back in this section.


----------



## InformedMomma

Feronia said:


> Talk to NDH! She's on this forum and is planning to go unassisted. She posted a little ways back in this section.

I saw that she posted over in the pregnancy group section and we have been chatting a bit! Wondering if there are any others around the boards


----------



## JessesGirl29

I didn't go unassisted, I had a midwife birth at the hospital....but I just wanted to say that my midwife was very hands off. I think a good midwife will perceive what you need. I predicted I would go in to the zone and I was indeed that way and the only time I felt my midwife was there before pushing was when she would come in to do Doppler checks silently and leave again. It was so peaceful and she she was just making sure the baby was okay. 
While pushing I appreciated her support and she was there reassuring me. It was perfect for me....


----------



## PaganBride

My midwife lives about an hour away so I was prepared for a bba last time, she got here with a few mins to spare and waited in the hall. This being my 4th, I fully acknowledge she probably won't get here, and I'm fine with that. She's fab in any case, haven't seen her yet this pregnancy (haven't needed to, we don't do screening or testing) and she's really supportive. If I couldn't have her as a midwife I wouldn't have any midwife.


----------



## Hangin_On_AGS

We are planning an unassisted. I currently see an ob however he's fully aware I plan on "waiting till its to late to go in" my mother is very against this however my mil in for us trying and will be a great resource if we need her. I'm doing lots of research on herbs and oils to stop hemmoraging. Dh is researching how to react to different complications as he will be catching baby this time since I did our first.


----------



## swanxxsong

We are planning a birth at the birthing center near us, but the midwives are very hands-off with things. 

Unless necessary, they mostly just leave mama to labor as she needs to, checking in to ensure that no one seems to be in distress or to see if they are needed/wanted. But very quiet and non-intrusive. 

From other people with whom I've conversed about birth centers/midwives in the US, most said that was their midwife's approach to things -- let the mama take the lead and only get involved when/if necessary. So hopefully, you'll have good luck finding someone, quickly, who'll suit your needs! :) :hugs:


----------



## NDH

You already know I am. Good to see others thinking about going down the same road :)
We will not be telling family of our intentions beyond that we will ne having a homebirth. Thats enoigh for my mom to take in Haha. But I'VE been testing the waters posting so much about homebirth on Facebook in recent months she was at least supportive and accepting of it even though its crazy to her lol.

I have just reached out to a local birth group I'm in about my plans and have been met with much love and support, and met another lady who is also planning a UC.

I haven't decided if I want a doula or other women around during labour or if I want more intimacy of just my DH and I and children if theyre awake, but will certainly have someone on standby for them.

I'm so excited and feel the best of all my pregnancies. Its awesome!


----------



## MommyJogger

Mine was not unassisted, but almost all of the midwives we interviewed were more than willing to not touch me at all if those were my wishes. I eventually requested a cervical check, but my midwife never so much as breathed about them until I brought it up as a request. She also talked through exactly what I wanted at my birth, whether I wanted her to be hands on or whether I wanted her to hang out in another room reading a book until I was finished and decided whether I wanted a quick exam after. I went the other direction and wanted lots of her involvement, but we definitely had the _option _of a pseudo-unassisted.


----------



## tankel

Im very newly pregnant but I am considering an unassisted birth. I am a very private and shy person and I don't like the idea of having a mostly stranger not only in my home, but also all up in my lady bits. Cost is also a factor for me as the money I would pay for a midwife could go towards me being able to stay home from work that much longer. Births here in the US do not come cheap..and that is annoying. I am also thinking of forgoing scans and testing as there is nothing that will have me terminate this pregnancy and there is nothing one can really do if something is wrong. Although I might have my iron levels checked from time to time as that was a real problem for my two sisters during their pregnancies. This is my first, and it is an exciting yet terrifying possibility to toy with. I have not mentioned anything to the DH yet. My main reason for entertaining the idea of a UC is the fact that I do not agree with a lot of modern medicine. By the time I am ready to pop, two of my sisters will be doctors: a chiropractor and the other in traditional Chinese medicine, so I can always have them for medical support.


----------



## NDH

That would be do amazing to have a chiropractor and TCM practitioner on call!

Kudos for thinking of going UP/UC already for your first. I wish I had been so informed from the beginning.:flower:


----------



## tankel

Well I come from a family of home-birthers.I def. hope I can stay out of hospital. I hear the stories from my friends how the doctor had to give them this drug and then they were doing really poorly and the baby was doing poorly so they had to give them that drug! That is really frightening to me!


----------



## Feronia

That's awesome, tankel! (Love your icon BTW -- my daughter's favourite film ever!)
A chiropractor on call would definitely be wonderful! I've discovered how helpful chiropractic care is during this pregnancy and I bet it'd be great during labour. 
Do you know anyone who does acupuncture? An acupuncturist came to my house during my labour/birth with DD and it was sooooo helpful for positioning and relaxation.


----------



## tankel

Feronia said:


> That's awesome, tankel! (Love your icon BTW -- my daughter's favourite film ever!)
> A chiropractor on call would definitely be wonderful! I've discovered how helpful chiropractic care is during this pregnancy and I bet it'd be great during labour.
> Do you know anyone who does acupuncture? An acupuncturist came to my house during my labour/birth with DD and it was sooooo helpful for positioning and relaxation.

My sister as a TCM dr does acupuncture! I never thought about using it during labor


----------



## Feronia

tankel said:


> Feronia said:
> 
> 
> That's awesome, tankel! (Love your icon BTW -- my daughter's favourite film ever!)
> A chiropractor on call would definitely be wonderful! I've discovered how helpful chiropractic care is during this pregnancy and I bet it'd be great during labour.
> Do you know anyone who does acupuncture? An acupuncturist came to my house during my labour/birth with DD and it was sooooo helpful for positioning and relaxation.
> 
> My sister as a TCM dr does acupuncture! I never thought about using it during laborClick to expand...

Sounds like you're set! :thumbup: Yeah, it's really useful for labour (and after 37 weeks for cervical ripening). See is she knows some pain relief, fetal positioning, and relaxation acupuncture for use during labour!


----------



## 17thy

I had an unassisted pregnancy and birth with my second, and am 40 weeks 4 days into my second unassisted pregnancy. Planning another unassisted birth any day now obviously lol. :) There are a few good facebook groups with lots of activity if you are interested, please PM me. :) 

Unassisted meaning just hubby and I.


----------



## MrsG09

I don't plan to have unassisted but I will be doing everything in my power to use a midwife either in a private birthing center or homebirth. I say everything in my power because I know we'll be moving in February but don't know where yet so can't set up my appointments for wherever that is yet. I already had an initial appointment with a midwife here, and will have at least one more with her. I, too, just have little interest in the constant checking and such, as well as risk of unnecessary intervention.

I love the idea of acupuncture during labor. I currently get acupuncture treatments and strongly believe that and the TCM aided me in conceiving.


----------



## emyandpotato

I'll have a midwife there but I am going to ask for no examinations if possible and no intervention if all is well. I found my midwife to be useless last time. She helped in literally no way as I didn't need assistance, but embarrassed and made fun of me.


----------



## tankel

emyandpotato said:


> I'll have a midwife there but I am going to ask for no examinations if possible and no intervention if all is well. I found my midwife to be useless last time. She helped in literally no way as I didn't need assistance, but embarrassed and made fun of me.

That is just awful. I'm sorry to hear.


----------



## HopefulEm

I'd really like to go unassisted with my second but my husband still needs convincing. With my first I went to a birthing centre, and while the midwives were helpful in cleaning up and taking care of us after our DD was born, they were mainly stressful to have around before and during the birth. 

Question - anyone have any idea of what to do about catching the baby if you're going unassisted and you choose to not have a birthing partner in the room?


----------



## SarahBear

I don't feel comfortable not having someone there who is trained to know how to intervene or when to intervene if intervention is needed. The midwives I have say that they are involved as much or as little as I want them to be during my labor and delivery. I don't really want much intervention. I just want a trained eye and someone to cut the cord (after it stops pulsing), basically.


----------



## NDH

Back planning a UC again after a MMC in November :)


----------



## Nisenitnyy

We are planning our fifth UC, God-willing, in September. Our first was a miserable hospital birth experience. Our nurses were awful (except for one, she was amazing, saved me from a c-section) and the on-call doctor was a total jerk that cut me without asking permission and spent maybe a grand total of 30 minutes in my room. The recovery area was not any better and we had the meanest nurse that kept trying to force us to formula feed. I decided after that that I would rather give birth behind a bush than ever give birth in a hospital again (unless one of us were dying, obviously).

With #2, we were going to a birth center, but I did not mesh with any of the 5 midwives and they constantly talked about different reasons to transfer. I'm not sure if they were trying to make me feel at ease because they'd transfer if you blinked wrong, or what. But I did NOT feel at ease there and felt we would likely end up being transferred for some non-existent reason. And we were new to the area with an almost 3yo son, who they said could be present at the birth initially, but as the days got closer, they were more like, "you should leave him with a neighbor" which was NOT ok with me. I only started seeing them at 28 weeks, and by 31 weeks I knew it was not going to work out. I began researching and praying and praying and praying and at 35 weeks, I told my husband my deepest desire for a UC. He consented and I was just :shrug: Totally shocked. 

By the time labor started at 39w3d, I was 5cm dilated (I checked myself) with a bulging bag of water. Labor was 4 1/2 hours and just a few minutes of pushing. I opted for hands and knees, and dh caught her.

Next baby was posterior. I had felt from the very beginning that there was going to be something different about this birth. I assumed breech and researched like crazy until our ultrasound at 18 weeks. He was posterior and my placenta draped to the front, and since babies like to face their placenta, I figured he'd probably stay that way. And he did! His foot was constantly poking straight out my belly button. I always knew he'd be early too, and that came true as well. On the night I was 35w3d, I felt him doing practice breathing, and I took that as a sign from God that he was good to go. I know they all do it in utero, but I had never been able to catch it happening before. Later that night contractions started. Labor lasted 4 days, which was exhausting, but completely ok with me since I know the complex chemical, hormonal, and physical changes that take place to ready a baby for the outside world are aided by contractions. So the more I had and the longer it lasted, the more my confidence grew that he was ready. He was born at 35w6d, completely perfect and much bigger than I expected! #1 was born at 37w6d (water broke) and 6lb15oz. #2 was 39w3d and 6lb12oz, and #3 was 6lb5oz. Not really that much smaller. His breathing was perfect and he ate just fine. His only issue was maintaining his temperature for the first 3 days. Something he surely would have been whisked away to the NICU for. But I wore him skin to skin in my shirt and he did perfect! I'm thankful that no one was there to interfere to take him from me. I gave birth to him squatting and caught him myself. It was the only position that didn't feel absolutely awful.

Baby #4 was also born at 39w3d. My water broke the day before with her, and labor finally started at the 20 hour mark. She was born right around the 24 hour mark. A privilege I didn't get with #1. They induced me "urgently" because my water had broken and we all know that if your water breaks, everyone dies if you don't get induced. It was really a lazy day waiting around for contractions. We ended up going to bed around 11:30 and woke up at 2:30 to contractions. I let my husband sleep while I labored, and by the time transition hit, all three of my kids were up, so I got him up and I went for solitude in the shower. I hit transition and didn't realize it, and told him (rather nasty) that I was taking a nap and wanted the bed made with a shower curtain under the sheet. A few minutes later I yelled that I needed a towel and that I was pushing. :laugh2: He knew something was up when I said I wanted the bed made. He came in with the towel and I was hunched over the bathroom counter. I told him that he had to catch her while I worked on maintaining my skin down there. She came out with a hand in her face...such a sweet thing to do!!! She was 7lb14oz.

Baby #5's water broke too. I'm 3 for 5!!! What a rip off. This time contractions started right away, and that made me pretty mad. After 10 hours, things weren't really progressing. I had been handling the pain fine, until about then. She was posterior, and as the day went on, I was needing dh to squeeze my hips as hard as he could. I was on hands and knees on the couch and she rotated, which is probably the most painful thing I've ever felt! It was really awful. I decided to head for the shower and checked myself. I was only 4cm...after starting at 3cm. I was so disappointed and discouraged. I felt like I was in the peak of pain and had been certain I was in transition, but feeling such a small opening really crushed me. Then I swear, it was like God talking and He said, "just trust Me, push". I fought it for another hour. "No God! Don't You know that if you push at 4cm you'll swell your cervix shut and never give birth?!" In desperation, I finally decided to test push while checking and was surprised when my cervix melted away to fully dilated. She was born not much later. I pushed her head out and called dh in. I caught her standing up in the shower. It was a bit slippery, I'm thinking a towel in hand would have been a good idea. She was born at 40w5d and was also 7lb14oz. She also had a hand in her face too!


----------



## tankel

what a lovely story. Its nice to be able to labor on your own terms and not be pushed through some medical machine.


----------



## HopefulEm

Thanks for sharing Nisen! Really uplifting birth stories.


----------



## NDH

Thanks for sharing your stories Nisenitnyy!

I'm back (again) and i don't know why I said November earlier cause its October! (Though could well be November).

I thought I lost this bub too just after my last post but nope, still pregnant :D


----------

