# urge to push but not fully dilated - confused



## shopgirl771

one thing i keep thinking about now im doing all this natural birthing this time round is if i feel the urge to push but the mw says im not fully dilated what do i do?

this kind of ties in with issues i had with my last labour.

is this one situation when u dont listen to ur body?????

confused????:shrug:


----------



## Mervs Mum

Don't have a vaginal examination and that way you'll only push when you have the urge and follow your instincts. Some women do feel the urge sooner. Listen to your body. A vaginal exam is only as good as the second it's done. You can dilate in minutes.


----------



## Mervs Mum

I know you're not a primip but I do love Glorias piece on pushing :)

https://www.glorialemay.com/blog/?p=72


----------



## freckleonear

This article might help. https://midwifethinking.com/2011/01/22/the-anterior-cervical-lip-how-to-ruin-a-perfectly-good-birth/ An increasing number of midwives are starting to think that preventing women from following their natural urges can actually cause more problems. Personally, as long as there have been no artificial interventions which might have caused an early urge to push, I would rather listen to my own body. :)


----------



## madasa

Try not to over think it. Just do what feels right on the day. If you feel pushy, try a little push and see how that feels. Usually, it's kind of like being sick. You know HOW to retch right? You could have an expert at your shoulder telling you when to retch and when to pant, but wouldn't it just be easier to do what your body wanted to do anyway, and get out whatever it needed to get out? And sometimes, there IS no controlling it or stopping it, your body just goes ahead and does it - and in that case telling you not to is worse than pointless!


----------



## myasmumma

my body just did it regardless, it was an urge so great i wouldn't of been able to not push


----------



## Blob

I used the technique of breathing baby down :lol: I don't know why it's just what I did on the day. I think because I was scared of getting stitiches. But when the urge comes you can't stop you just do it. 
Maybe try that when you feel like you want to push just try the breathing thing and let your body do it until its where your body takes over and you need to push?


----------



## shopgirl771

Thanks for all the advice ladies. I'll have a look at those links in a mo. 
Thing is with my last labour I got the urge to push and was told not to as they wouldn't do an internal to see how dilated I was (3hr rule). This is when I believe things started going wrong for me as by the time they did check me and realise I was dilated my contractions had stopped so I needed a drip and everything just got rather forced from that point. I honestly believe my lo should and would have been born about three hrs earlier if I'd have done what my body was urging me to instead of listening to the Mw. 
This time I've put in my birth plan that if I get the urge to push I'm insisting on an immediate internal.

But u think I should miss the internal altogether if I need to push? I've no issues with internals as long as they don't actually do anything more than assess.


----------



## Mervs Mum

But what will the internal tell you? You don't need permission to push.


----------



## Mervs Mum

Insisting on an internal will put you on a 'clock'. So if you feel like pushing and they say you're 7cm are you going to not push again if you feel that's what went wrong last time? Like wise of you feel like pushing have an internal, are fully and are on the clock, they might not be happy with how long you're pushing for.....


----------



## shopgirl771

i suppose what im asking is whats so wrong or the danger in pushing when ur not fully dilated but having just read both the links i cant see that there is any real danger.

i can also now see that having an internal might not be any help and yes i should probably just get on with it.

i found it interesting in the article the bit about maternal poop lol. i pooped all over the place (sorry TMI) so its frustrating to know that my MW probably didnt pick up on the fact i was closer to birthing than her practices allowed her to believe.

now... better go change that birthing plan lol.


----------



## MissyBlaze

Also, with subsequent babies you can dilate super fast so an internal might not help anyway. It's possible to go from 6 -10 in minutes, so you could, again try to stop yourself pushing when actually you are ready! 

Sometimes with a baby which is OP you get an early urge to push but as that midwife thinking link shows, who says that's wrong??? Why would nature make us so wrong?


----------



## ljo1984

i had a VE after my waters broke she wanted to check baby was head down as she couldnt feel her head at all (just shoulders), otherwise she wasnt going to do one. i was 3-4 cm (i was gutted), didnt have any other ve's i had pushed her out 50 mins later!!! i knew she was head down, im sure id of felt her turn seen as she was 3/5 engaged the week before, so next time absoloutly no VE's. but when i got the urge to push there was no but i was only 3-4 cm not so long ago, i just went for it, mw encouraged me throughout, there was no way to stop it lol.

id definatly say you dont want a VE, they cant make you have one and as others have said it can chage so so quickly so really means nothing. just go with what your body wants to do. xx


----------



## madasa

Most of the time, there isn't any danger in pushing on a cervix that is not, according to the last VE, "the magic 10". Because you could easily have dilated to a 10 since then and even if not, it may help you dilate the rest of the way.

Sometimes, pushing against an undilated cervix causes it to swell. I think it might be that people thought it was dangerous to push early, because their understanding of pushing was the PURPLE PUSHING - I can see how doing THAT on an undilated cervix could cause problems! But intuitive, gradual, grunty and intermittent pushing at the peak of a sensation that most ladies tend to do as they move into the pushy phase of labour.... Well, it's not comparable to the "chin to chest, bear down hard to the count of ten!!!" style of pushing still done in a lot of hospitals...

Sometimes, women UNdilate during a VE so, it is always possible that you could be at that magic number 10 they like so much, and feeling a strong pushing urge.... and they check yo uand the act of doing that causes your cervix to undo that hard work you've put in and they tell you the crushing news that you "can't push yet, you are <insert umber lower than 10 here> cm".

SOMETIMES your cervix dilates past 10! I know, I know, shocking isn't it? Everyone's bodies are different, all different shapes and sizes! And SOMETIMES (gasp!) the person doing it just gets it wrong.


----------



## pea-in-pod

madasa said:


> Try not to over think it. Just do what feels right on the day. If you feel pushy, try a little push and see how that feels. Usually, it's kind of like being sick. You know HOW to retch right? You could have an expert at your shoulder telling you when to retch and when to pant, but wouldn't it just be easier to do what your body wanted to do anyway, and get out whatever it needed to get out? And sometimes, there IS no controlling it or stopping it, your body just goes ahead and does it - and in that case telling you not to is worse than pointless!

agreed! with my homebirth, there was no "urge to push" it was more of a rollercoaster pushing by my body that I couldn't stop! so even if she had said don't push, I wouldn't have been able to stop. it was happening and I wasn't controlling it!


----------



## MissyBlaze

madasa said:


> SOMETIMES your cervix dilates past 10! I know, I know, shocking isn't it? Everyone's bodies are different, all different shapes and sizes! And SOMETIMES (gasp!) the person doing it just gets it wrong.

Defo, VE's are very subjective. But when you're looking for a cervix to be fully dilated, you're not feeling for how many cm are gone, it's more that you're feeling for what's left so how many you are is kind of irrelevant. If you were ve'd and there was 0.5cm left the you'd be classed as 9cm but really you might not be, like you say, everyone is different. 

However i agree, it's kind of pointless if there is proper hardcore cannot be stopped physiological pushing!


----------



## ZoeZo

freckleonear said:


> This article might help. https://midwifethinking.com/2011/01/22/the-anterior-cervical-lip-how-to-ruin-a-perfectly-good-birth/
> 
> 
> I only read that article a couple of weeks ago, lots in interesting information on midwifethinking.
> 
> Mamabirth blog also said *"You do not need a vaginal exam to have a baby. I am serious. They will still come out."* quite refreshing! We all assume it's part of labour.
> 
> "The truth is, a woman can be dilated to a five for a month and have her baby at 40 weeks. A woman can also be dilated to a five and have her baby 10 minutes later. *The body does not listen to textbooks*. Especially textbooks that say you must dilate one centimeter an hour once you hit active labor. Like a baby, your body has no idea how it should act in order to ensure a textbook medical labor. Leave it alone"Click to expand...


----------



## madasa

This is true ^ ^ Our pregnancies and births are as individual as, say our periods. We all start at different ages, we have different length cycles. There is a wide wide WIDE range of "normal". :)


----------

