# ever get frowned upon?



## Mammy2Joojx

middle of shopping today with my dad & my LO, when i was speaking to the woman serving on the till. She got asking me how old i was (im only 21, 22 next month, but dont exactly look 16/17) & i answered her to be polite. She then asked if the FOB was around :shrug: to which i got a lil annoyed by as i didnt see it as any of her business. I told her he was around, but i wasnt with him in a relationship (sees LO once a week) & she looked shocked. She then went onto say 'oh, i see. I take it thats why your LO is a little rebellious & running about being giddy, cos you do it on your own & all that' well, i very nearly headbutted her! That to me implied that i couldn't keep control of my son, when all he was doing was simply running up & down giggling to himself next to me :/ everytime i told him to stop, he would. Everytime i told him to come to me, he would. So i clearly have zero control :haha:

Also, was talking to my friend who said the other mams at her LO's school also look down on her.. No apparent reason, she just overheard 1 say to the other than 'young, single mams dont bring their kids up to the same standard as us older parents in a stable relationship'

Are they fucking kidding? I know a few parents what are married & older than me & their children act outrageously! Now, im not saying thats cos of their age or how they parent, but what the hell gives them the right so look down on young single mums?

Anyone else been in the same boat? Sorry for the essay, rant over :haha: x


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## dustbunny

I have been looked down upon for being pregnant and no FOB around what so ever. In fact yesterday I got told, "the father will grow up once baby is here... girls do too..." I mean... WTF!!!... I have faced up to all my responsibilities, got 3 solid jobs, have supported myself and baby whereas FOB has done jack all. 
I also had a lady ask after I explained I was pregnant "and your husband is happy?" and when I said I wasn't married "oh your boyfriend?" to which I explained I was on my own, stone dead silence to which I said "nope, not a good role model at all really." 

Also I find I get odd looks whilst out shopping and feel bad for buying things... even if its food/essentials.


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## Mammy2Joojx

i think its disgusting me, it really does rile me! Some of the reactions i've got from people who i've told i'm a single parent are unreal! My LO is polite, happy, cheeky & extremely forward for his age, yet to have someone doubt my ability to be a good mam just because of my age & marital status is damn right rude! Sorry to rant :haha: x


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## Dezireey

Meh, I just lie to not stress me out and tell any strangers that I have a fella if they ask and work colleagues know I have a fella, they just don't know we have split up. Close friends and family know the truth and they keep it quiet. To be honest, it's less about being judged for me and more about not wanting people going'oh I am so sorry for you etc,etc'

The way I see it, my relationship status is no-ones business and it's better to just say nothing at all about him to people who ask me, than divulge/volunteer too much info. 

I definitely would have told that woman at the till though to stop prying into my personal life and then I would have reported her to her supervisor if she pushed it. There is 'making conversation' and then there is snoopy rudeness, she was rude and made a customer uncomfortable, she was out of line.


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## teal

Absolutely shocking. 

In all honesty I do feel embarassed at times about being a single mum even though I was in a relationship when I becamse pregnant. I then feel like I need to explain that as well :nope:


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## Mammy2Joojx

teal, i think its sad that you sometimes feel embarrassed :( nobody should feel that way :hugs: i was in a relationship when i fell pregnant aswell but split when i was 2 months gone, best decision i ever made to be a single parent x


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## SophiasMummy

Its usually old people that give me funny looks when im out with LO, all because im not wearing an engagment or wedding ring, when to be honest its none of there business and just because someone doesnt wear a ring doesnt mean theyre single (though obv i am). Ive also had a lot of compliments though about my parenting and my LO from friends and strangers. Everytime i take her out at least one stranger tells me shes gorgeous and well behaved lol. So the good out weighs the bad for me most of the time. xx


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## Mammy2Joojx

i've had a few say the same about my LO, about how clear of a talker he is for his age & that he's a credit to me, but again thats usually old people :haha: so i guess some are more understanding than others :shrug:

I'm proud to be a single parent :) i just find it annoying how when its the dad whats a single parent, cos its rare, they're 'amazing & doing a brill job' yet half the time, when its aimed at mams, they need help when they're single parents :/ x


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## xSophieBx

How dam right rude!! 

I'm 21 and look young when my hairs tied up & tbh I've only had a couple of comments that have pissed me off... next time I'm gonna say I'm 26 lol that will shut them up... Noones asked me if I'm with the dad, but I'm not ashamed to say I'm not.


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## Mammy2Joojx

xSophieBx said:


> How dam right rude!!
> 
> I'm 21 and look young when my hairs tied up & tbh I've only had a couple of comments that have pissed me off... next time I'm gonna say I'm 26 lol that will shut them up... Noones asked me if I'm with the dad, but I'm not ashamed to say I'm not.

good, nobody should feel ashamed :happydance: i'd never pass as 26 :haha: but its sad that we feel we should have to lie sometimes or hide things x


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## bubblymummy

i know the feeling, i split with FOB when i was 3months pregnant, definitely was the best decision i ever made as he was a drug addict> i'm nearly 21 with a 9 month old and people always stare when i'm out and when i get asked about the FOB i say "Who? my baby has me isnt that enough?". couldn't care less what people think of me as i know i'm happy as a single mum and if i meet mr Right then i'll be even happier :) x


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## Mammy2Joojx

getting into a new relationship would be a whooooooole different thread for me :haha: cant see me being with someone for a good few years, as i know i have trust issues & i dont want to take the risk of it not working out when i have my LO x


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## v2007

That's awful. 

I would report her, there is no need for those kind of assumptions ever. 

When i was in Sports Direct before Xmas getting ex some trainers for football, kids were hungry and i said 'do you want to get some dinner' to which the sales assistant replied, 'oh having sausage rolls then' :grr:

I said 'NO' and threw him a right look and left. 

Wanker!!!!

V xxx


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## bubblymummy

its gonna be scary for me when i get into a relationship too, i do feel lonely but i'm sure i'll be fine. we do have our LOs after all :)


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## Mammy2Joojx

v2007 said:


> That's awful.
> 
> I would report her, there is no need for those kind of assumptions ever.
> 
> When i was in Sports Direct before Xmas getting ex some trainers for football, kids were hungry and i said 'do you want to get some dinner' to which the sales assistant replied, 'oh having sausage rolls then' :grr:
> 
> I said 'NO' and threw him a right look and left.
> 
> Wanker!!!!
> 
> V xxx

no need for it at all is there? I'd love to see these people raise their kids cos clearly they're the perfect parents :) x


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## Laura--x

Im 20 but literally look 15/16, and a few times ive noticed people looking but ive never had nobody confront me. Id actually be scared if they did because i lose it very easy when it comes to parenting/single moms.

Ive noticed whenever i meet new people ( especially men ) i always have to make it clear that i was in a relationship for 4 years and split up when she was 6 months old because he was smoking weed and i wernt having that around my child. I feel as though everybody immediately thinks ' er, obviously had a one night stand, or slept with that many lads that shes not sure who the father is' as soon as they see me, so i have to make sure they know the situation.

But as soon as ive told them, i sit there and think ' why the hell should i explain myself in the first place!'


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## teal

Laura--x said:


> Im 20 but literally look 15/16, and a few times ive noticed people looking but ive never had nobody confront me. Id actually be scared if they did because i lose it very easy when it comes to parenting/single moms.
> 
> Ive noticed whenever i meet new people ( especially men ) i always have to make it clear that i was in a relationship for 4 years and split up when she was 6 months old because he was smoking weed and i wernt having that around my child. I feel as though everybody immediately thinks ' er, obviously had a one night stand, or slept with that many lads that shes not sure who the father is' as soon as they see me, so i have to make sure they know the situation.
> 
> But as soon as ive told them, i sit there and think ' why the hell should i explain myself in the first place!'

:hugs: That's what I do, I feel like I need to explain it. Then once I've explained my situation I wonder why I felt I had to xx


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## pinkie77

I'm a single parent twice over and often hear 'should've known better second time' grrr. I split with my ex husband when my kids were 3, 5 and 7 and spent the next few years looking after them and going to uni. Then I met fis dad a couple of years ago and thought it was about time I tried again, what a huge mistake that was! The only good thing to come out of that was my daughter. He was unkind to my kids behind my back and turned out to be totally delusional and untrustworthy :( 

So yeah I do feel judged and it's one of the reasons I doubt I'll have another relationship


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## Mammy2Joojx

pinkie77 said:


> I'm a single parent twice over and often hear 'should've known better second time' grrr. I split with my ex husband when my kids were 3, 5 and 7 and spent the next few years looking after them and going to uni. Then I met fis dad a couple of years ago and thought it was about time I tried again, what a huge mistake that was! The only good thing to come out of that was my daughter. He was unkind to my kids behind my back and turned out to be totally delusional and untrustworthy :(
> 
> So yeah I do feel judged and it's one of the reasons I doubt I'll have another relationship

how can anyone be unkind to children grrr! & thats exactly why i cant see me being with someone, cos i know i wont be able to trust & i dont want to take the risk of it not working :hugs: xx


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## MumToBe2012

I can't believe people are like that. It has nothing to do with anyone else how you raise your kids and just because you're a single mum doesn't mean that you're a bad parent. I've only had one person judge me so far - someone who's my age and I don't like anyway. Only certain people know I'm pregnant though, as I don't feel the need to tell people that I'm pregnant and even though I'm 20 weeks pregnant I don't have a bump so no one could tell by looking at me anyway.

I'm dreading what it's gonna be like when the baby is here though if this is what people are like - don't know how people have the nerve to judge if they haven't been in the same situation - but if sales assistants are speaking like that, I would be reporting them straight away for that rudeness. Or telling them myself that I think they're being rude.


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## emlubu

That's terrible! My daughter is a terror in the shops sometimes but that's only part of growing up, I believe if I was still with her dad he would let her away with a lot more tho!! And 1 it's none of the shops women business... Cheeky cow. 

On the bus I often get the looks "another young single parent" hello I'm 26 and yeh a single parent but why r most of us single parents? Cos men can't keep it in there pants.


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## peapod11

I'm pregnant and my ex of 4years give me a choice to go it all alone or not have it and live happily ever after with him! I choose to keep my baby and I have recently been told that I have gained alot of respect from people to make sure a livid changing decision, especially because I was still in love with my boyfriend and having him walk away when I could of choose the easy route! 
My point being do not let anyone look down at u! Infact if anything people should admire single parents, no1 asks to be in this situation and outsiders don't no your circumstances behind why your doing it alone and doing it Alone is double the work than having a partner around! If I ever come across someone looking down or commenting on me or my child I won't hestiate to put them in their place! Don't let anyone make u feel ur not doing anything less than an amazing job


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## Mammy2Joojx

haha good point! & if i'd of stayed with my ex it'd of been just as good as being a single oarent anyway! So i'd rather do it all myself :) x


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## nickyXjayno

do people actually give you all funny looks/judge or is it just your perception? 
only reason I ask is I noticed a lot of you say you get funny looks when out alone preg/with kids & no wedding rings. 
I'm always out on my own as oh works & have noticed no funny looks or questions & look just like you lot shopping with baby alone.


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## Mammy2Joojx

funny looks dont bother me, cos all i think is, if you think something or have something to say then say it dont just hide behind your snotty face & look down on me! But i have had several people make digs at me .. Although yesterday i was out shopping & a lad what worked in 1 of the shops said my son was the pollitest toddler he has ever come across :) so there are obviously some nice people out there what dont judge x


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## BadassMom

I just turned 24 but I look pretty young. A few weeks ago I was waiting in a pizza shop for my food to be ready and I was talking to the older guy who worked there. For some reason I mentioned I was pregnant and he said, "well at least you can still afford pizza". That REALLY pissed me off because I have a great job and make at least twice what he does. But because I look young and am pregnant he ASSUMED I didn't have any money. Jerk....


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## Mammy2Joojx

BadassMom said:


> I just turned 24 but I look pretty young. A few weeks ago I was waiting in a pizza shop for my food to be ready and I was talking to the older guy who worked there. For some reason I mentioned I was pregnant and he said, "well at least you can still afford pizza". That REALLY pissed me off because I have a great job and make at least twice what he does. But because I look young and am pregnant he ASSUMED I didn't have any money. Jerk....

people like this deserve a punch :haha: & if people werent pregnant or had a kid in tow i'm sure they would of got one byy now! X


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## Sophie1205

It really annoys me when people look down on single parents (especially young ones). I'm 21 but look a lot younger and when I've told people i.e. mum's at the school that I'm alone with Leo they just go silent and look away. I for one am PROUD of being a single mum. It is NOT my fault I'm a single mum, and I am bringing my child up just fine regardless of my marital status. x


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## Mammy2Joojx

Sophie1205 said:


> It really annoys me when people look down on single parents (especially young ones). I'm 21 but look a lot younger and when I've told people i.e. mum's at the school that I'm alone with Leo they just go silent and look away. I for one am PROUD of being a single mum. It is NOT my fault I'm a single mum, and I am bringing my child up just fine regardless of my marital status. x

thats what my mate has said about mams at school. I just think their snobs if i'm honest :rofl: & if any of them look down on me i'll say something. To say they're looking down on young single mams, majority of them what make comments are more immature than most yyoung mams. & they always say a child is better off with 2 happy homes than 1 unhappy one x


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## Sophie1205

Mammy2Joojx said:


> Sophie1205 said:
> 
> 
> It really annoys me when people look down on single parents (especially young ones). I'm 21 but look a lot younger and when I've told people i.e. mum's at the school that I'm alone with Leo they just go silent and look away. I for one am PROUD of being a single mum. It is NOT my fault I'm a single mum, and I am bringing my child up just fine regardless of my marital status. x
> 
> thats what my mate has said about mams at school. I just think their snobs if i'm honest :rofl: & if any of them look down on me i'll say something. To say they're looking down on young single mams, majority of them what make comments are more immature than most yyoung mams. & they always say a child is better off with 2 happy homes than 1 unhappy one xClick to expand...

Yeah exactly. I'd so much rather Leo have two happy separate parents then two miserable ones together. Us single mums have to work twice as hard and I see it as something we should be proud of :) xx


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## BadassMom

I've never heard that before but I love it!!! Two happy homes are so much better than one unhappy home!


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## Laura2919

People automatically think I am with FOB and when I say I am not I get 'I'm sorry' I just say your more sorry than me.... :rofl: 
If people want to look down on me let them... I can't help what happened in my personal life all I can do is make the best of it for my girls..


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## Mammy2Joojx

i'd much rather be a happy, single pparent & bring my son up in a happy home whats argument-free than be with FOB just cos we have a child together. If that means i get looked down on sod um! I know i'm doing whats best for my son x


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## Laura2919

The thing that annoys me is anybody can be put into this situation not just teenagers, young parents, those who don't have a job. It's easy to put the blame onto people but who knows who will be here and doing all we are in a few years time.


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## bumphenders

I hear the whispers all the time from people who just assume i'm like some young people.

When me and my nan were shopping I remember going into a little baby shop, and the woman asked me how far along i was and had a bit of general banter, and then she turned to me and said in a joking way 'i see you've dragged your nan shopping while your OH is at work' to which I replied saying I was single.
And her response was 'oh, so it'll be the tax payers money you're spending then'
Then she turned away from me.

I politely told her that I work full time and I chance to earn more then she does in a month then I walked out.

I couldn't believe how snotty some people are towards the younger generation.

Its like people say, they sometimes forget who raised us!

:flow:


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## Laura2919

I'd have reported her to her manager! She would of never got away with talking to me like that, that's absolutely disgusting!


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## Mammy2Joojx

nothing like tarring everyone with same brush is they? X


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## bumphenders

I was just so shocked, I just walked out. 
When I first fell pregnant I was very timid when it came to things like that, and I would avoid any kind of conflict like that...Now had she said it to me recently, I would have gone crazy on her ass :haha:


:flow:


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## teal

bumphenders - that's absolultely shocking :hugs::hugs:

Laura - so, so true. I was 24 when FOB broke up with me for refusing a termination and I was 25 when my son was born. Even though I worked full time I still felt the stigma that single mums seem to exerience. xx


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## bumphenders

Teal - :hugs: Thank You :)
I'm totally over it now, and when I hear people whisper and looking at me funny, I just shrug them off now.


:flow:


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## ilove3baby

I always get looked down on....I live in the bible belt and everyone is sooo nosey!! They see me with DD solo and my 7 month belly and their mind goes wild.......ugh.


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