# Hello :) our journey begins



## bluebumble

Just wanted to say hello :) we are new to adoption. We have just had our sw initial visit and are due to go in the information day and prep course in May. Nervewracking but exciting too :) :happydance:


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## Loski83

Hello blue bumble lovely to hear your joining the adoption group doesn't seem to be many here. Do you have any idea what sex/ age your wanting, hoping for?


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## bluebumble

Hi

Your from Durham? Just down the road from us and our adoption agency is in Durham :) 

We are hoping for siblings, one pre school and one school age :) you?

I see your nearly at panel? How have you found things so far?


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## Loski83

Yes our agency is in Durham are you with va or la? If va we probably at same one lol. We have found it good so far our agency is fantastic and hopefully the rest will go just as smoothly. We hoping to get approved for per school x


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## bluebumble

Ours is a va (dfw) small world!! My sister is with the same agency too lol


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## Loski83

Same here when did your sister do prep course?


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## Lolly1985

Ok this is a bit strange... :haha: wait til it turns out you sat next to each other during lunch or something... :haha:


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## bluebumble

Hahaha not that I know of! She did it last October :) they are doing home study at the moment. She is called Sarah?


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## bluebumble

Ps hello lolly :) how is your adoption journey so far?


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## Lolly1985

Hi!! :hi:

So far we have learnt a lot, had an info day, had initial interviews with both an LA and VA, and have decided VA are the way forward! Our SW had lots of positives to say when she came to our home, the only concern she raised was some outstanding debt we have. We were quite suprised as we felt it is managed well and has little impact on our finacials. Anyway, she said she would have approved us there and then to submit a formal application if we were debt free, but as we weren't she would have to discuss with her manager. So in the meantime me and DF (and our amazing family) decided to clear it so that it didn't continue to be a problem going forward. Our SW is delighted (so she said!) and as soon as we have written confirmation it is cleared we will be on the next prep. There is one in June but we are away, plus that maight be cutting it a bit fine :shrug: so looking like it will be october. So thats us in a nutshell!

Nice to see you here. Me and Loski were getting quite lonely :haha: Plus she will be off soon as she will super busy being a mummy :cloud9::cloud9::cloud9:


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## Loski83

I was on prep with Sarah and talk to her on Facebook quite often as you say it's a small world lol. can't believe your Sarah's sister she's lovely.
I hope I will be playing mammy lolly but will still be here supporting you's as much as I can.


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## Lolly1985

Ah Loski, thats sweet, thank you :hugs: It is going to be so exciting the next few months listening to all your updates as you get closer and closer to having your LO. 

Its strange that you are both so close to each other, same agency and you were on prep with BBs sis :wacko: Defo small world!! xxx


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## bluebumble

Hey 

Lolly - wow your at the same stage as us then. Will you do any home study before prep? or will you have to wait until after prep? we are in a bit of a similar boat but not because of finances. I am diabetic and overweight and we have been advised I need to lose weight and make sure my diabetes is under control. So i have joined slimming world and have currently lost 8lb in the last 3 weeks :) The agency said that will help as I can evidence the weight loss. i also have 2 weeks to go and then have to go back to the doctors to have bloods done again to check how well I am controlling my diabetes without loads of medication. Fingers crossed that its ok :-/

We go on our information day a week on wednesday and they said we are provisionally booked onto the prep course at the end of May. Im so nervous that they wont like us.

Loski - wow very small world. Ah I agree. I love my sister she is my best friend! I pray with all my heart she gets a LO as I cant think of anyone more deserving than her. Her dedication and motivation was one of the reasons why DH and I decided to go for adoption and not IVF. I have been a member on these boards for ages but up until last year we were actively trying to concieve. I stumbled across this section by accident. Its way too far down on the page and not many people here :( but its nice to know you two are active!

I had started to look on the adoption UK forum but found it distressing at points to be honest. There are so many horror stories that it started to freak me out a bit, so i havent looked in a while. Its nice to have support too though so its nice to find others on this page. Hope you both dont mind me joining you :-/


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## Loski83

Of course not the more the better as lolly said it gets lonely on here lol. I hope Sarah gets a lo as well her and Simon are lovely people. Adoption is the way forward your in the cool group now you should get Sarah to join. I am on adoption uk using same name I know what you mean though some people on there seem so negative. 
Regarding weigh dfw haven't said anything to me about weight however my doctor mentioned it on medical it's quite annoying considering the size of some people that have birth children and nothing gets said to them. I was going to slimming world as well but stopped just started doing it myself last week want to lose another stone before panel. Well done on your weight loss so far love Loski


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## bluebumble

I will mention it to her. She said your on fb - feel free to add me Im under sarahs friends (amy bell)

DFW didnt say i had to lose weight but they said they would encourage it, especially as I am diabetic and having a record of it would help me if we got to panel. How much have you managed to lose? I really like slimming world so far but am always stuck on lunch ideas. Im not sure I can face more jacket potatoes and pasts lol I am starting to exercise now too but its hard work! I started the couch to 5k challenge yesterday and just about managed it, however, I did think I was going to pass out at one stage lol


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## Loski83

I lost a stone and a half in 3 months but I have put half back will add you on fb. I know I can't stick to diets so I need to start exercising more what's the couch to 5k?


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## bluebumble

Its the nhs challenge to get you running 5k in 9 weeks, its hard work the first week but apparently gets easier. I have another 4 stone to lose so anything that helps :)


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## Loski83

That's the same as what I would like to lose as well, going to google it now but there's not much I can do with this asthma :growlmad:


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## bluebumble

losing weight is so hard. I am in the fortunate position to have a wonderful husband. However, he can eat what he wants and how much he wants and doesnt go about 10 stone! we went to america travelling for 5 months and i put 2 and a half stone on while he put on 3lb!!!


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## puppymom32

Hello Bluebumble best of luck in your adoption journey.


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## bluebumble

Thanks puppy mom. Your little one is so cute! 

Ps I'm an Amy too :)


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## Lolly1985

Good for you losing weight and doing a cracking job :thumbup: There will always be something that they 'may' need to look into so if we are doing all we can to solve the problem then surely it'll be plain sailing... haha, am I deluded :haha: 

I am hoping that if the debt is cleared and letter sent confirming this then we can make a start with some checks before prep. She did mention maybe start HS so not to hold things up, but I guess it depends on timings. I am hoping that this will get sorted soon, but am prepared to do a little chasing. If we have to wait til Oct though I'm ok with it, we have lots planned for summer. Will be nice to have a summer away from fertility appointments, clomid, IVFs etc and just enjoy before our next step. So excited :cloud9:

:hugs: xxxxx


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## Lolly1985

Oh, and I agree, adoption uk does scare the cr*p outta me. there was a girl on there complaining about our VA. I went all the way back looking for details until I tortured myself senseless and decided to log off and not look again. Each case is unique so I decided to trust my instinct and hope that we will be ok, we have very different backgrounds etc. I have started a journal of fertility friends. Its a positive site like this one, although loads of people on there and I can't keep up :haha:


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## bluebumble

We are hoping to do lots this summer too (thats if we get a summer given this awful weather!) and get our house redecorated so at least it will keep us busy. 

Does ff have an adoption section? I havent been on there before?

Are you on fb Lolly?


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## Lolly1985

Yeah, fertility friends is really good, it has a big section with adoption and fostering, parenting adopted children, adoption diaries and a resource section. Have a nosey! Yeah on FB, everyone is trying to get me to join twitter but I tried and I just don't get it :dohh: haha! xxxxx


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## bluebumble

Oooh I will have a look tomorrow, it's bed time for me :) add me on fb if you can (Amy bell) I'm under Laura's friends list now :)

I don't get twitter either :-/


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## Milty

Do you ladies mind if I join you? 

I'm in the US but I think Im just a bit further in the process but not much ...it's hard to say as its different than yours but definitely similar red tape and steps


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## bluebumble

Hi milky lovely to meet you :) where in the us are you? My hubby and I travelled round the us for 5 months in 2010, it was amazing :)

Where in the process are you now? 

Amy
X


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## Milty

We have been meeting with our SW looking for a good match then I hit a snag with my fingerprint on one finger being bad but hopefully it will get fixed soon and we will be on our way...


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## twinklycat

Hi Lolly, bit of a personal question but could I ask if your debt was credit cards or loans? I'm worried as we each have an outstanding loan that this would weigh against us?


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## Lolly1985

Hi Tinklycat!

Don't worry, happy to help if I can as you want to be prepared for everything they may throw at you. It was loans, both myself and DF owned houses with ex partners and lost a fair bit when we had to sell up due to credit crunch. Plus my ex took all my furniture, well everything really, down to the cutlery :growlmad: so me and now DF had to both take loans out to get out of our joint mortgages and then to buy new stuff when we got our own place down the line. We have been paying them off ever since. We have amalgamated the debt and so have one monthly payment, but SWs (from LA and VA) both had concerns about affording to raise a child (even though we actively put into saving each month and are comfortable). I understand they need to be sure, but it honestly it was a shock when it was considered a problem. I guess a lot will depend on the figure and how many years you have left on the debt. Ours was three years, but not prepared to wait that long to be a mummy if I could help it. I have spoken to a women on another site who said she had £8000 of credit card debt and while they wanted her to evidence how it would not happen again (she did a statement of what she had learned and why it would not happen again) they allowed her to progress. I don't think there is a core guide on what is considered 'too much', it is SW judgement taking into account your incoming and outgoings with other bills etc.

Hope that helps a little. Feel free to ask any Qs or PM me :hugs: xxx


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## twinklycat

Thanks Lolly! That's helped a lot, we have 3 years outstanding on our loans as well. We took them to do up our wreck of a house when we brought it a couple of years ago. I'm trying to work out a way that we can reduce them quickly (sell everything I own? lol!!) so at least won't be too big when we come to apply hopefully....xxx


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## Lolly1985

No probs! So are you definitely looking to adopt? It's just your status, avatar (whatever you call it :shrug:) says WTT. I hope that what ever you choose you find a way to sort out your finances. Its hard when you consider yourself stable with surpluss, but I can see why SWs have to be 100% confident that even if something went wrong you could support a child.

Lolly :hugs: xxx


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## twinkle458

hi Ladies

Can i join you all please? Just posted our initial expression of interest forms and recieved a little letter saying that a SW will be in touch shortly...

Lolly - i have been lurking on FF and read about the lA in your area....gulp!

Lots of love xx


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## Loski83

Hi twinkle of course you can join and feel free to ask any question you want to, look forward to chatting with you Loski xx


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## Lolly1985

Hi and welcome!! I think that our LA are redeming themselves! Think that our original SW was quite negative as she was stressed and then went off sick so we had a delay. The lady I have spoken to since seems lovely so we are looking forward to meeting with her once we get confirmation our loan gets paid off. Wish it would hurry up already!! :flower:


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## twinklycat

Hi Lolly! Haha I have just noticed the WTT, I didn't know what to put and thought well we're waiting to try to adopt lol! I think i've managed to change it to 'other' now :)

We defo want to adopt, I've been back and forth r.e our own or others for a few years but adoption has always been my choice. It's really just the pressure from others that makes me sometimes consider having our own (we have no children already), but we have decided to be 'selfish' and do what we feel is right for our family and I shall not listen to what others may say any more :happydance:


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## bluebumble

Hi All

Just wanted to pop by and say hello and say sorry for being MI for a while. Nice to see you are all doing well and Loski congratulations again!! fantastic news. Welcome newbies too :)

As for us, we have now finished prep and have had 2 home study visits. We are due to have our third one on Saturday which will be an extended one to cover more areas :-/

Its all getting real and going extremely fast! very exciting though.

I am now in a flap over having to have my medical now though :( dreading it is not the word!

x


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## twinklycat

Good luck with your medical! What do they check during it? I'm sure you will pass fine :)


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## Loski83

Good luck with medical if you want to ask anything about it I might be able to help x


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## Milty

In the US our medicals were more like Physicals and covered general health


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