# when FOB gets a new girlfriend.....



## babycrazy1706

how did you feel about your LO being around her?? xx


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## LastBabyforMe

But all one can hope for is that he used some form of judgement in choosing this new lady in his life. Honestly I have observed that most men utilize women, sisters, grandmothers as caretakers for their children. It all depends on the guy I suppose. 

My son rarely sees his father as he lives several states away and has never taken me to court for visitation, so I never had to deal with that from him. My daughter's father met a woman and eventually had a son with her and I remember the ONE time that my daughter went to stay with him at his girlfriends house. My daughter was about 9 at the time(she is 13 now) and when I picked her up(from his mother's house) she was looked very unkempt and her hair was a mess. She told me that all her dad did was play on video games and baby brother(the one he fathered with the new girlfriend) was walking around in a dirty pamper the whole day. She then told me when the girlfriend got home she complained to him about why he did not do anything around the house etc. Although my daughter said it was good to see him she said she would rather not go back over there and she preferred our usual arrangement of letting her stay with his mother (who has a nice home, cooks regular meals and is very stable, albeit annoying)

I will also add that I have no tugging emotional feeling for either of them so that may help the situation. As for my current pregnancy, I doubt that the situation would ever present itself. The FOB is not interested in being a dad and currently will not talk to me.


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## babycrazy1706

I'm sorry that your new baby's daddy is not interested, that's sad. :(


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## Dream.dream

I don't believe in introducing significant others to LO until you've been dating them 6 months at least. I do this for me an babies dad as before 6 months I don't consider it a serious relationship 

Also before LO meets anyone we all meet first , its not a regular thing , they get to see them once in a while but they arnt there for every visit or everytime they see LO 

It prevents people from going in and out of LO life .


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## babycrazy1706

thats a good set-up. xx


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## Natsku

Well FOB doesn't have a girlfriend yet (though I wish he would get one, would make him happier and less of an annoyance) but I think I'd be fine with Maria being around her as long as I got to meet her first and get to know her.


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## fairydust87

When FOB gets a gf I would expect him to be with her for 6-12 months before introducing LO and I would show the same respect


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## blamesydney

FOB got a new girlfriend before my daughter was even born, so I'm pretty positive he put no consideration into whether she'd be good for Scarlet or not. She ended up crazy and absolutely mental and got jealous of him TAKING ME AND HIS DAUGHTER TO CHURCH ON EASTER so by the time he went full father mode, he left her sorry ass. Now he's dating a good friend of mine and I trust her with my daughter. :thumbup:


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## Dream.dream

blamesydney said:


> FOB got a new girlfriend before my daughter was even born, so I'm pretty positive he put no consideration into whether she'd be good for Scarlet or not. She ended up crazy and absolutely mental and got jealous of him TAKING ME AND HIS DAUGHTER TO CHURCH ON EASTER so by the time he went full father mode, he left her sorry ass. Now he's dating a good friend of mine and I trust her with my daughter. :thumbup:

Must be nice you know her .

My sons dad is with a girl he got pregnant after knowing her a week. She's basically done everything she could to get my sons dad to not be a part of my sons life and be nasty to me and my mom .

I liked the last girl he dated she was nice and had her own child , however he messed it up by being an abusive ass to her and getting mad brcaus she wouldn't have a baby with him


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## cutiecouture

Hi There

I split with my sons dad when I was 5 months pregnant (we had been together 4 years so was a big shock!)

I found out he had a new girlfriend when my son was around 7 months old and I was very jealous and told him my son was not allowed around her (I was really hurt from the break up etc) when my son was around 14 months his dad said he was introducing his new girlfriend to him I was so jealous, worried that he might think she was his mum, if he would love her more than me, I dreaded each time he went with his dad.

My LO is now 3 and has a great relationship with his dads girlfriend, it took time for me to get used to the idea but now im fine and as long as she treats my son well and he is happy thats all that matters now. It does get easier with time (trust me I was the worlds worst!) x


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## Live It Up

Idk how you ladies do it! My ex cheated after 5 years of us being together. We were married two of those. He is with this woman currently for about 7 months if you count WHILE we were still married and I am not okay with it at all!


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## Dream.dream

Live It Up said:


> Idk how you ladies do it! My ex cheated after 5 years of us being together. We were married two of those. He is with this woman currently for about 7 months if you count WHILE we were still married and I am not okay with it at all!


Would you Introduce your child to someone you are dating?


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## Live It Up

Dream.dream said:


> Live It Up said:
> 
> 
> Idk how you ladies do it! My ex cheated after 5 years of us being together. We were married two of those. He is with this woman currently for about 7 months if you count WHILE we were still married and I am not okay with it at all!
> 
> 
> Would you Introduce your child to someone you are dating?Click to expand...

Yes at some point. My story is so long. There's a lot more to it. I'll have to introduce myself. Lol


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## Kate&Lucas

It bothered me a bit at first. Mostly because (the only one I've known about in the three years we've been broken up) - he was cheating on me with her while we were together. I asked that I meet her before she met Lucas, not because she might not be perfectly nice but because FOB has a habit of living out false identities and such (bit like a forum troll but IRL), and I didn't want Lucas around that, so I wanted to make sure she knew who _he _was, iykiwm?
He refused - I imagine because he feared I'd tell her he was living with me when they met and I was pregnant/had just given birth to our son. So I still have no idea when she has met Lucas etc, just that she has because he's talked about her. Really, I've just had to get over it because there's sweet FA I can do. Apparently they're broken up now but I keep way out of it.


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## MissJayy

Well, FOB has nothing to do with LO, and he does have a girlfriend now, but I would not want her around my son being she is 15/16 years old (he is 20, a bit gross in my opinion lol). She also smokes weed 24/7.


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## kaths101

I'm dreading the thought of him getting another girlfriend, makes me tearful The thought of my babies with another woman, I guess it's still raw for me though as we only split a few months ago. I wouldn't stop it though as long as he had been with her a while and she seemed ok. It's bound to happen and vice versa I'll just have to deal with it!


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## babycrazy1706

^^^ exactly how i feel too!


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## lovejoy

My ex moved countries and now has a new girlfriend who has a son. It sucks because he hasn't even met our daughter yet who is almost 1 but is playing daddy to her son. Did I mention they've only been together 4 months are living together and she's all I love you. He hasn't told me about her,but that's what happens when you live your life out on facebook lol. It wouldn't be that bad if he wasn't still lying. He told me recently he has a room for the kids to visit him, due to the break up that's not happening he has to come to the uk to see them but maybe in time. I don't mind if she comes with him that's his call and I can't control who he dates etc. 

Anyway if he was living in the UK and told me about his new girl it would still hurt a little but you get over it with time. Don't act too crazy and jealous because one day you will meet someone else too and do you want your ex to ruin it. 

Always give your old things to people less fortunate lol


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## babycrazy1706

haha. thats a good one!!! :rofl:


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## wishuwerehere

I like fobs girlfriend. They've been together over 2 years, live together, she's very sensible and is often easier to talk to than fob, and my daughter likes her. So i'm happy.
Sometimes it's not a bad thing! If you meet her don't start with the mentality that you'll dislike her.


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## bump_wanted

My ex husband is with someone just now the female he was having an affair with, from what I know of her (she's a friend of my brothers who I don't know complicated situation) she is young and immature and in no way ready to be a good influence on my son.. My son and his fathers relationship is quite damaged IMO at this point and it isn't a suitable time to be introducing him to anyone on either side.. When the time comes I would expect him to have been with a suitable female for a respectable amount of time 6months + and I'd expect him to introduce me to her first I would return this respect but absolutely not with the woman who was involved in the break up of our family xx


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## Boomerslady

I'm coming at this from the other side, as we've been split up for over 2 years now and I had a partner for 8 months, then was single for a year and have a current partner I've been with for 5 months. I introduced Ben to them after about 2-3 months. I trusted them by this point and felt it was going to be 'long term' rather than just a few months iykwim. I told FOB both times and he flipped out. I offered for him to meet them and he refused (actually he once said they'd have to knock in his door and ask his permission to be around his son!!).

I understand his opinion and he doesn't like it, however I never left Ben alone with either to babysit and just introduced them as friends to begin with. FOB is a huge part in Bens life so they never took on a 'daddy' type role. FOB had however threatened to use it against me if we ever go to court, as I must be a bad mum if I introduced him so fast. I tried explaining I dated men in the year I was single but of I didn't think it was going anywhere they never saw Ben.

I really want FOB to find a girlfriend. Like me I'd expect him to wait a few months, and give me the option of meeting her (which I'd want to do) but it might get him off my case a bit lol! Also I'd expect him not to allow her to take on a 'mummy' role more like an auntie iykwim.


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## Ceejay123

Boomerslady said:


> I'm coming at this from the other side, as we've been split up for over 2 years now and I had a partner for 8 months, then was single for a year and have a current partner I've been with for 5 months. I introduced Ben to them after about 2-3 months. I trusted them by this point and felt it was going to be 'long term' rather than just a few months iykwim. I told FOB both times and he flipped out. I offered for him to meet them and he refused (actually he once said they'd have to knock in his door and ask his permission to be around his son!!).
> 
> I understand his opinion and he doesn't like it, however I never left Ben alone with either to babysit and just introduced them as friends to begin with. FOB is a huge part in Bens life so they never took on a 'daddy' type role. FOB had however threatened to use it against me if we ever go to court, as I must be a bad mum if I introduced him so fast. I tried explaining I dated men in the year I was single but of I didn't think it was going anywhere they never saw Ben.
> 
> I really want FOB to find a girlfriend. Like me I'd expect him to wait a few months, and give me the option of meeting her (which I'd want to do) but it might get him off my case a bit lol! Also I'd expect him not to allow her to take on a 'mummy' role more like an auntie iykwim.

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me Hun :) I also come at it from another side, as my other Half has a son with someone else. I'd expect to meet anyone first, and in fact my other half (nervously) approached me to ask if I'd be willing to meet his ex. Of course I said yes. I think he was more nervous about it than me bless him.


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## MissRhead

It was my worst nightmare when we first split up. However it's been 3 years now and as he lives far away I have no issues in my LO going out with fob and his OH when their over here. She however hates me and doesn't allow him near me, but that's their problems I guess lol x


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## sarah0108

Felt weird but i didn't even get a say in it. He moved her in within 4 weeks...


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## Dream.dream

I've actually seen more then one judge in court give a mom or dad trouble for introducing SO to soon. I don't know if its because most judges are older and from a different generation but it is a cause for concern with them .


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