# Blighted ovum at 11 weeks:-(



## lilly77

Need to talk about this as i can't seem to stop crying or being so sad. I always knew mc was an awful thing to happen and that it was v common but i never expected to feel so depressed and cry so much!:cry:

I was due to have my 12 week scan next week and was counting down the minutes til the date where we would finally see little bean. On Sat I had some brown spotting (great timing - during my 7yr olds birthday party) and i rushed to a&e where they only did a pelvic exam and did a pregnancy test which was positive. They said everything looked fine but that I had to go in for a scan first thing the next day. On Sun morning I was bleeding more before the scan.. still not alot but not brown anymore, more red with small clots. So of course I broke down even then.. 

Well, the scan showed an empty sac with no heartbeat or baby, just an empty sac. they had to measure it and if its over 20mm they diagnose MMC or silent MC and if under then they have to wait a week to be sure in case i've got my dates wrong. 

The sac was 18mm and i DEFINITELY don't have my dates wrong and even the sonographer said she's certain its not good news but they HAVE to check.

So i'm just dreading this week, I just want to it to be Fri already and would prefer a D&C then all this bleeding. I just want it to be over now so we can start trying again. Is it true you are more fertiile after mc?? When can we start trying again?

I know it sounds silly but our due date was 10.10.10 which was an unusual date and dh's bday is 12.10 so it wouldve been right near his bday. It was all just so perfect:-( 
And we had just told my 7year old ds 2 weeks ago that bean was there and that he would have a brother or sister and he was so so excited. We had to take him with us to the scan on sunday, he was behind the curtain but heard me break down and its just so awful for words.

Has anyone else had an empty sac, or blighted ovum? I feel so cheated and angry and sad that i was pregnant for nearly 12 weeks before i found this out:-( Can you request a viability scan at 6/7 weeks?

Sorry i'm new here so don't know all the abbreviations etc yet:blush:

Lilly xx


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## truly_blessed

so sorry for your loss Lilly. There are lots of people here who had the same thing. It happend to be at the end of Nov but I had no bleeding or warning at all, just an empty sac at the 12 week scan. I too knew my dates were right, they wanted me to wait another week and get rescanned but there was no way I was out by 7 weeks, I had a positive test before I was pregnant if that was the case and the test showed I was 3+ weeks. My scan was a Friday and, after the weekend from hell, I called the EPu on Monday morning and said I had started spotting, which I had slightly. They told me to go back in that morning and I saw a very understanding midwife who got me booked in for the D&C that afternoon. I was back home by 8:30 that night recovering.

I did have a bad time of it after the D&C though and bled on and off for 7 weeks, I still ended up passing the sac 7 weeks after the operations, so that didn't quite get everything. I'm glad to say it's all back to normal no though and I'm on my 2nd 30 day cycle. 

Give yourself some time. I felt a bit lost to be honest as a lot of people actually see a heartbeat prior but for me it didn't develop that far so it was never really a baby. It still hurts just as much though.

You can try again whenever you feel ready is the general consensus, both mentally and physically. We are in April and I will be pressing for an early scan at about 7 weeks just to reassure myself. The good news is that it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it's just one of those things. xx


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## lilly77

thanks so much for your reply, it helps to hear that other women have gone through the same. I know I feel 'lucky' if that is even the word, that i didn't see a baby with no heartbeat at least, but it still hurts so much to just see an empty sac. I was the same, there was no way my dates were out, i found out i was pregnant super early too, 4 days before my af was due and test said 1-2 weeks along!

I feel sad, angry, and cheated more than anything that my body did this and made me feel pregnant for 12 weeks! I never expected to feel so sad and depressed. Even caught my dh crying in the kitchen last night which was the worst thing i ever heard. my son is from a previous relationship so this is the 1st time we have tried to have a baby together.

I'm wondering if i should call the midwife too... i haven't passed alot of blood at all and haven't had painful cramping so i'm aware that its inside me and still needs to come out, and its just making me feel strange that its a big waiting game.

thanks again for your kind words and i'm so sorry that it happened to you too. me and dh had booked a holiday in april so we are just glad to go away and have some time together.

Best of luck to you:shrug::hugs:


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## l_sparkle

Hi honey

I had a private scan on Saturday - I have the same.

My sac measured 40mm but no baby.

I've just got back from the local hospital and the sac is now 42mm - so it's growing!! But no baby. It's heartbreaking. I've not bled at all and was only having the private scan to give the photo to my Dad as it's his b'day today!! I'm really glad I did though!

It's so so so so sad, but in a way maybe it's a blessing. I'd rather this than a baby growing unaturally with a defect. It's natures way of telling us our time is close, but it's just not this time.

My OH's birthday is on the 8th Oct, his Dad is 10th and our 'baby' was due 14th Oct so just like you!!

BIG HUGS xxx


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## lilly77

oh, really similar situation to me then! How sad.. isn't life just cruel sometimes... but you're so right. We have to just think that its nature's way of dealing with things when they're not right and we just have to trust in that. Doesn't make it any less painful though. My sister is on 02.10, my best friend on 14.10 and dh on 12.10, then of course 'baby' was due 10.10. i'm dreading october this year. I know it sounds so silly but I was really looking forward to our little Libran baby, and now I just have to realise that its not going to be. Its so weird, it feels like it never happened. Like being pg was just a dream.
I really really hope I will be pg before the end of this year. Will you be ttc again soon?
I'm so sorry for your loss too.
:hugs:Lilly x


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## l_sparkle

lilly77 said:


> oh, really similar situation to me then! How sad.. isn't life just cruel sometimes... but you're so right. We have to just think that its nature's way of dealing with things when they're not right and we just have to trust in that. Doesn't make it any less painful though. My sister is on 02.10, my best friend on 14.10 and dh on 12.10, then of course 'baby' was due 10.10. i'm dreading october this year. I know it sounds so silly but I was really looking forward to our little Libran baby, and now I just have to realise that its not going to be. Its so weird, it feels like it never happened. Like being pg was just a dream.
> I really really hope I will be pg before the end of this year. Will you be ttc again soon?
> I'm so sorry for your loss too.
> :hugs:Lilly x

I'd like to try as soon as possible, but as I'm having the D&C I'm not sure how painful that will be physically. If it's OK i'd love to catch the 1st egg that pops out! HAHAH

I'm hoping to have the D&C done sometime this week, but after what the hospital said today I don't want it done there, I'd like to go private.

At the NHS hospital you have to arrive 9am and wait... like A&E until you're seen... I could wait 18 hours and then if I'm operated on at night I have to stay. It just sounds awful so I'd like to have my own room and my own appointment slot - might sounds snobby, but it's I feel it's a big deal what's being done and I don't want to wait around like cattle for hours, this whole process is terribly upsetting as it is so anything I can do to make it easier I will.

How long were you trying before you found out you were pregnant? 

Apparently you're very fertile after a miscarriage so fingers crossed you don't have to wait until the end of the year and it's in the next few months - or next month.

I'm so sorry this has happend to you - I wouldn't wish how I feel on anyone it's a terrible thing to go through.

xxxx


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## truly_blessed

that wasn't my experience of NHS D&C at all. I went straight in to a private room (one of 2) and had nurses in and out the whole time. Had to wait about 3 hours before I went to surgery but I was reading in bed and watching tv with OH. I was back from surgery about 30 minutes later and was allowed home 2 hours after that. I honestly don't think things would have been any better if I'd gone private on this occasion, and I did consider it. The private patients actually go to the same hospital where I live.

As far as being painful goes, it wasn't painful at all. The cramps I started to get weeks later were the worst bit for me and most people don't get those and have very little bleeding after.

My heart goes out to both of you, it's such a confusing and mixed up time and you just go on autopilot. It does get easier though, for me I felt a lot better after the op just with the knowledge the physical side was over.

xx


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## lilly77

oh no, really? That sounds horrible - well i guess at the scan i should hope that its all cleared out but i honestly don't think so. Will have to speak to the clinic and see what they say. Have been trying to call them today to get my app moved forward from Friday. I can't wait around all week.

We were trying properly for 3 months before i fell pg - but not using contraception for 8 months (but avoiding ovulation time) I have this irrational fear that it won't happen for us ever now. 
I already have a child but he's 7 now and this is the first time trying with dh. i really hope to pg again really really soon.
let me know how the d&c goes.
Big hugs to you :hugs: xx


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## lilly77

truly_blessed said:


> that wasn't my experience of NHS D&C at all. I went straight in to a private room (one of 2) and had nurses in and out the whole time. Had to wait about 3 hours before I went to surgery but I was reading in bed and watching tv with OH. I was back from surgery about 30 minutes later and was allowed home 2 hours after that. I honestly don't think things would have been any better if I'd gone private on this occasion, and I did consider it. The private patients actually go to the same hospital where I live.
> 
> As far as being painful goes, it wasn't painful at all. The cramps I started to get weeks later were the worst bit for me and most people don't get those and have very little bleeding after.
> 
> My heart goes out to both of you, it's such a confusing and mixed up time and you just go on autopilot. It does get easier though, for me I felt a lot better after the op just with the knowledge the physical side was over.
> 
> xx

Thank you I just phoned the clinic and they said I could come in before if I wanted but they wouldn't see a change tmrw or weds - so i'm going to try hold out for Thurs or Friday. They need to see if anythings still there. They said if I go on Fri they could book me in for a D&C the following monday.
I'm just a bit worried as me and DH had booked a long haul holiday in early April and i definitely don't want to be spotting/bleeding then if i can help it.

Thanks so much for sharing your experience and I'm sorry for your loss too - Ive been online all day and found these forums and posts to be so helpful for my emotional state right now.

xx


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## NatoPMT

Hi Lilly, my due date was 10/10/10 too. 

I'm sorry for your situation, it takes away control from you as well as they wont accept your word. The 18mm size is smaller than their guidelines, so if this situation is too hard for you, that would give you grounds to push for autonomy in the decision. 

Hope youre ok x


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## NatoPMT

i misunderstood the sizing, not sure if they would accept your decision as its within their guidelines, sorry to make that mistake


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## truly_blessed

forgot to add Lilly, another reason I pushed to get it all sorted quickly was I was flying to america on 2nd Dec (had 12 week scan on 20th Nov and then D&C on 23rd Nov). They said it was no problem but the midwife advised taking aspirin for 3 days prior to flying to thin my blood slightly as you are more prone to dvts after anesthetic. I was still spotting the day before I was due to fly so I went to the doctors and he refered me staight upto the hospital for another scan and I got a course of anti-biotics to take with me just in case. 

I did have a couple of heavy bleeds while I was away so, if you are still spotting, make sure you take some painkillers with you. It didn't spoil my holiday though and it did so much help to relax us both and ease the mental pain. xx


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## lilly77

thanks girls...

i've decided to wait until Friday for my scan so hopefully the sac would have 'grown' to over the 20mm guideline so they can properly diagnose me. NatoPMT omg we had the same due date:-( I hope you are doing ok?

I just can't face seeing anyone yet apart from dh so am laying low this week and will just wait til friday. I'll also go to my gp or ask the midwife about aspirin for when I fly, I'm also going to the states so thanks for that advice truly_blessed

I have deleted my facebook acc, i know this seems silly but a friend of mine is 4 weeks ahead of me pg and status updates about 'fluttering tummy' is just too painful to bear. I'm mad with everyone, angry with my body, sad, upset and now obsessed with being pg. I'm waking up at 7 in the morning when I don't need to and coming on these forums. I hope I don't feel like this for long!

Will hopefully be TTC on holiday;-) I'll keep you girls posted. and hope all of you are ok too

love xx


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## l_sparkle

lilly77 said:


> thanks girls...
> 
> i've decided to wait until Friday for my scan so hopefully the sac would have 'grown' to over the 20mm guideline so they can properly diagnose me. NatoPMT omg we had the same due date:-( I hope you are doing ok?
> 
> I just can't face seeing anyone yet apart from dh so am laying low this week and will just wait til friday. I'll also go to my gp or ask the midwife about aspirin for when I fly, I'm also going to the states so thanks for that advice truly_blessed
> 
> I have deleted my facebook acc, i know this seems silly but a friend of mine is 4 weeks ahead of me pg and status updates about 'fluttering tummy' is just too painful to bear. I'm mad with everyone, angry with my body, sad, upset and now obsessed with being pg. I'm waking up at 7 in the morning when I don't need to and coming on these forums. I hope I don't feel like this for long!
> 
> Will hopefully be TTC on holiday;-) I'll keep you girls posted. and hope all of you are ok too
> 
> love xx

Aww honey - Snap!! 

We'll be all OK... do you feel different today? It's a tough old world eh?!

I'm taking it easy this morning and going into work late. My Director and assistant knew/ know I was pregnant and they're being really good.

Last night I went to the doctors and got a referral letter to give to the Private hospital and to give to the insurance company.

I'm seeing my old consultant now who did my LAP so I known him for about a year and I feel very comfortable with that. My insurance will cover everything but the blood tests but all together that's only £200 so we're gonna pay for that. I had my HGC Levels checked yesterday and then I'll have them done again on Friday - he seemed concerned the sac had grown 2mm in 2 days, but has still booked me in for the D&C on Saturday.

I can't remember who said it in this thread - it might have been Truely Blessed but it's so spot on, you go on Auto Pilot! I'm OK now, I'm just 'getting things done'. I feel detached from the fact I was pregnant today and I'm not tearful at all. I think doing all the things I couldn't do pregnant helped like I've eaten soft boiled egg, smoked, and had a fair amount to drink. Might sounds silly, but it''s my way of dealing with it and I will continue to smoked like silly until after Saturday at which time I really don't want another cigarette near me - I'll go back to living like a Nun so I can hopefully concieve a healthy baby next time.

Your holiday is booked just at the right time - you must be so greatful you have that coming up? I wish I could just go away - i'm very envious.

Big hugs - thinking of you honey 

xxxx


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## NatoPMT

Im so sorry Lilly, you gotta do whatever you gotta do to make this bearable for yourself. I have 2 pregnant friends (one had a c/section yesterday, the other just announced) plus a friend who had her baby in Jan, so my fb is crammed full of stories of excitement, when all i have is stories of 2 failed labours and an operation tomorrow. 

the aspirin thing, have you heard about low does aspirin to help pregnancy not fail after miscarriage? my sister is a nurse who was on IVF for 10 years, and she told me that 75mg of aspirin helps increase blood flow to the placenta and has been shown to help women who have clotting problems, but theres new research to suggest that it might help prevent miscarriage thats happened for unknown reasons. I know its too early for you yet, but its giving me some hope for the future because if i have to go through this again i think i would actually die. Theres loads on google about it if youre unaware

Im finding the mornings the worst - Im waking up early too, i wake up thinking everything is ok, then i remember. I dreamt last night that my baby has rejected me, its a feeling ive had for the week ive known things had gone wrong. Its such a mess.

x


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## l_sparkle

NatoPMT said:


> Im so sorry Lilly, you gotta do whatever you gotta do to make this bearable for yourself. I have 2 pregnant friends (one had a c/section yesterday, the other just announced) plus a friend who had her baby in Jan, so my fb is crammed full of stories of excitement, when all i have is stories of 2 failed labours and an operation tomorrow.
> 
> the aspirin thing, have you heard about low does aspirin to help pregnancy not fail after miscarriage? my sister is a nurse who was on IVF for 10 years, and she told me that 75mg of aspirin helps increase blood flow to the placenta and has been shown to help women who have clotting problems, but theres new research to suggest that it might help prevent miscarriage thats happened for unknown reasons. I know its too early for you yet, but its giving me some hope for the future because if i have to go through this again i think i would actually die. Theres loads on google about it if youre unaware
> 
> Im finding the mornings the worst - Im waking up early too, i wake up thinking everything is ok, then i remember. I dreamt last night that my baby has rejected me, its a feeling ive had for the week ive known things had gone wrong. Its such a mess.
> 
> x

I read a similar story yesterday about a woman taking Viagra - prescribed by her doctor to help the blood flow to her womb after she miscarried 5 times.

I might give the asprin a go!!

x


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## smiler85

Hi there

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Did you have strong pregnancy symptoms - like morning sickness etc? I have my first scan in 2 weeks and I am terrified of getting there and there being no heart beat etc. I can only imagine your pain. I haven't had any bleeding.

I really wish you the best of luck for your next pregnancy.


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## w8ing4bean

*oh sweetie 

I found out id had a blighted ovum at my 11 week scan. I dont even know what to say, i just know how you're feeling all too well  sending u lots of hugs and if u ever want to talk im here xxx*


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## lilly77

thanks so much w8ingforbean, i'm so sorry for your loss too. hope you are feeling better now? Today has been the first day i haven't woken up crying, though I did cry today. Sending lots of love to you too and best of luck to you as well for a sticky bean!!

smiler85 - don't worry yourself yet.. i'm sure you will have a healthy pregnancy. don't stress for no reason! I had v mild morning sickness, went off certain foods, breasts got v big and i was v moody as well - but this is what i felt when pg with my son who is now 7 yrs old, so its no indication of anything wrong. I had bleeding/spotting from 11 weeks 6 days but half of women who bleed in pg go on to have a healthy pregnancy. Good luck for your scan and thanks for your msg xx


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## Poshie

Sorry you are going through this. I had a BO back in July. We didn't find out til the 12 week scan. We happily went along, expecting to see our little pip for the first time, but instead saw an empty black hole (sac measured 9 weeks). As fate would have it, I ended up having a natural mc the very next day. I'd even signed on the dotted line for a d&c the day before. It was one of the worst times of my life, so I understand how upset you are. :hugs: 

As for fertility after mc, well I got pregnant again two cycles after my mc. Sadly that ended in an early mc at 5 weeks. I nearly gave up hope but I got pregnant for the third time the cyle after (so no af inbetween). I am pleased to see I am now 22 weeks (well tomorrow) pregnant and overjoyed to have got this far. So yes it can happen quickly.

Hope you have a speedy recovery and get an extra sticky bean very soon :hug:


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## NatoPMT

Hi Lilly, glad you didnt have that horrible waking up crying thing today, not much respite from it all, but waking up in that state is so awful. I had my op today and it wasnt too bad, they will treat you well and look after you 

smiler, you shouldnt be in this forum!! you will just worry yourself more than necessary, i swear id have gone mental if id read this stuff before i knew i had to... lots of luck


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## w8ing4bean

lilly77 said:


> thanks so much w8ingforbean, i'm so sorry for your loss too. hope you are feeling better now? Today has been the first day i haven't woken up crying, though I did cry today. Sending lots of love to you too and best of luck to you as well for a sticky bean!!

*its good to cry though hun, the worst thing u can do is bottle it up. its been almost 10 weeks since my scan, and i still break down from time to time. Im feeling ok now tho thanks, ttc although not had first af yet and its been almost 9 weeks since d&c  its sooo horrible waiting around when all i wanna do is move on!! sending u baby dust for when you're ready to try again xx*


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## lilly77

Thank you girls:kiss: I couldn't wait til Fri to have the 2nd scan so went in today. Lots of tears but finally my d&c is booked for Mon morning, as I have been bleeding alot the last 4 days but the sac is still there and weirdly, has grown:-( but I'm hoping to start moving on after Monday.

Poshie - thanks for your story, gives me hope that even after 2 m/c you carried on and are now healthily pg! that is amazing and congrats to you. How awful it must have been to go along unknowingly to your scan and see that!! I feel 'lucky' if you can even say that, that I had a warning a week before my scan, I don't know how I would've coped otherwise, but I guess you just do.. don't you.

I feel so guilty for when I was pg and was hoping it was a girl baby as I already have a boy, but rest assured I will NEVER do that again, the only thing you want is a sticky bean and a healthy baby.

hugs to all of you xxx


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## mummytwoj&s

hey lilly im so sorry for your loss :cry: the same thing happend to me 
i had 1 week left till my 12 weeks scan i could aint wait i started to bleed one nyt at rushed into the siting room were my husband was told him what was wrong with me as he seen my face we called the nhs 247 they told us to go up to A&e we got there and i got seen by a nurse and then by the doctor they gave me a scan they told me they seen a sac but no baby and was told to come bk and get a scan in one week to see if i got my dates wrong but they said it did aint look good to fear the worse :cry: that week felt like a year tbh
anyways i went bk home and i started to bleed and clot really heavy and the cramps felt like i was in labour so i was rused to hosp and they asked me to do a pee as they do and i peeed out what to me look liked a baby but they had tested it and it had to tissue in it i then got really confused :wacko: they said they were keeping me in just to keep a eye on me put a drip in the next day i got home and everything started up again but i had just lied in my bed had rested it all seemed to setlled down after a few days but i kind of new my self baby was all gone :cry: it came to the day of the scan and i had been waiting to get called in and all i seen was pregnant women look great and all i couid was cry wishing it was me and that my baby was ok i got my scan and they had told me that everything was gone even the sac :cry: so i do know how u feel hunni


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