# Just joining in



## Love4you

Hi everybody! I'm 38 and newly pregnant with number 5. I'm still in shock!! I'm feeling a little anxious being an older mom. Hoping to find some ladies to share the journey with. &#128522;


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## mumatmadhouse

Nice to meet you love4you! 
I am also 38 and almost 6 weeks pregnant with number 6. Nice to know I am not the only mad one here, lol. How old are your children?


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## Love4you

My kids are 16, 13, 11, and 1. At 35 I had a midlife crisis and decided I needed more babies. And now I'm starting all over again. People think I'm crazy! 
I see we have a few about the same age. 
I'm feeling a bit anxious about being an older mom. Google is not my friend!


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## mumatmadhouse

Lol, I get the "are you crazy?" looks too!

We had intended to stop at 3 until I hit my 30's and decided I wanted more. 
We also homeschool our 3 youngest. Our almost 17yr old is in college. It's a bit of a madhouse here but we love it ;) 

I am desperately trying to stay away from Google, lol. Oh, and I am due to become a grandparent in march! Needless to say we are keeping this quiet for as long as possible xx


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## Love4you

Oh my goodness! Grandma and mama!! That's fantastic!!

Things aren't going that great right now, have cramps and spotting. Feeling sad,


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## Luvspnk31

I'm 37 and 34 wks with my 5th. When I get looks or the " wows" I just mention my neighbor who is in her early 40's and pg with her 11th. Makes 5 look like nothing, lol.


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## Jenny Bean

LOL if you get crazy looks I wonder if I will also.

This will be my first at 38! almost 39 or possibly 39 when this one is born!

I am so very excited and nervous for this pregnancy :wacko:


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## Fezzle

I'm 38 and newly pregnant with our first too! To be honest, it's only been recently that I've felt old enough to be a mother :lol:


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## Love4you

I had my boys when I was in my early twenties and my daughter at 36. I'm definitely better prepared financial and more mature. Think I had more energy in my twenties though &#128521;
Love that there are so many of us! 
When does everybody have their first appointment and scans booked?
I just switched to a new OB group and I have my meeting with the nurse on 12/18. Hope I get my ultrasound soon after. My last OB gave ultrasounds at 8 weeks. Peace of mind.


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## Fezzle

I have two appointments booked for 17 Dec- one with my GP, who will probably just tell me to take folic acid and calculate my EDD which I already know, but it will also get me into the midwife system. I like my GP too so it'll be nice to tell her! She did everything she could for me on the NHS. I also have a private early scan booked that evening with the FS I saw.


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## Love4you

I'm jealous of your early scan! You'll have to keep us posted &#128522;
I'm having regrets about switching OBs. I'm not good with change and the not knowing is making me a little crazy! I loved my old group but they're 35 min away and this group is 15 min away. It's not a big deal when you're only going once a month but I had gestational diabetes with my last and was there 3-4 times a week for 3 months. It was a lot to juggle especially having other kids at home.


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## Fezzle

Even though I like my GP, I'm going to switch practices because we've moved recently too, and there's another one that looks good that's just a 4 min walk from our house. Hopefully I'll get a good GP there too! I'd probably have waited for the scan but I'm flying to the US for Christmas so wanted a bit of reassurance before then.


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## Love4you

Wow that is close! I'd be switching too. It is hard when you're comfortable where you are. But time is precious. 
Hopefully that early scan will give you peace of mind to enjoy your vacation. 
I live in the US. Hope you're going someplace warm. I'm in Connecticut (near Boston and New York City) and I'm freezing already!!!


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## Fezzle

Brrrr! I am American (actually a dual citizen now), so I'm going to visit my parents in North Carolina. Usually it's fairly warm there, but they do get the occasional cold days too, even snow occasionally! I lived in NJ when I was little though so remember what winter is like up there!


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## CaribbeanBaby

Fezzle you're always welcome to fly a little further south instead ;) lol 

I am popping my head in over here! Saying hello and introducing myself. I am 37 (38 in January) and this will be my second, after 15 years. I am surprised it only took us a few cycles! We didn't do anything special for the first couple of cycles but my husband started on FertilAid and the Motility vitamins just in October, and we also used pre-seed this month, and I charted and temped. Apparently that works quite well!


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## Fezzle

Hi Carribean! I am tempted from all your photos on the other thread! Because my grandma passed away in Jan., the family has inherited a good bit of money, my parents are really keen on us all going on a cruise- them, me and OH and my brother and his girlfriend. My brother and I are so not cruise people so we've been resisting it for ages, so I think I've finally found a way out of it! lol


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## Love4you

I am so not a cruise person either. Boats freak me out. However, I'd be glad to fly out to the Caribbean and meet the family instead. I'm so meant to live in the tropics. This snow and ice is for crazy people! 
Congrats and welcome Caribbean! I have a big age gap too. Had my boys close in age (16, 13, 11) and then decided at 35 I wasnt done. Got my girl at age 36! The plus side is I have more helpers. And so what if I get crazy looks and comments. It's great. We decided to have another to give my baby Noelle a little playmate. Hoping so hard for another girl but I'm feeling boy.


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## mumatmadhouse

Hi all, good to see a few of us in the same boat, lol. I think we are actually clsssed as geriatric mothers past a certain age! Can you believe that?! 
I have a whole other problem with my antenatal care. I have yet to make a gp appointment as I am*quite worried about the midwife letting slip to my daughter accidently. We are going to end up under the same midwives! I really don't want the kids finding out yet due to the losses we've had. As for my daughter I think she may disown me! I really hope they don't get confused with 2 of us at the same address. 
Hope everyone is doing well xx


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## Love4you

I could see how that would make things awkward. I actually ran into my mother in law at my OB appt when I was pregnant with my 2nd son. It was still a secret and we made awkward small talk in the waiting room. Then the nurse brought her chart into my exam room. I always wondered if they brought mine into hers as well.
Is there a different midwife group you can join? 
If not then just make really certain that they understand that everybody needs to keep quiet. 
I have a quick appt with the OB tomorrow morning. Have to get my Rhogam shot because of the spotting. Too early for any scans so I'll just wait and hope for the best.


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## CaribbeanBaby

Fezzle said:


> Hi Carribean! I am tempted from all your photos on the other thread! Because my grandma passed away in Jan., the family has inherited a good bit of money, my parents are really keen on us all going on a cruise- them, me and OH and my brother and his girlfriend. My brother and I are so not cruise people so we've been resisting it for ages, so I think I've finally found a way out of it! lol

Just picture us, Fezzle!! We could be relaxing on deckchairs under an umbrella.. having someone bring us virgin pina coladas.... having someone else rub oil on our fat bellies :haha: Well I will be doing that either way! (not the oil bit... weird lol) so now you can just be there too and wave to your parent's cruise ship as it sails by. :wave:


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## CaribbeanBaby

Love4you said:


> I am so not a cruise person either. Boats freak me out. However, I'd be glad to fly out to the Caribbean and meet the family instead. I'm so meant to live in the tropics. This snow and ice is for crazy people!
> Congrats and welcome Caribbean! I have a big age gap too. Had my boys close in age (16, 13, 11) and then decided at 35 I wasnt done. Got my girl at age 36! The plus side is I have more helpers. And so what if I get crazy looks and comments. It's great. We decided to have another to give my baby Noelle a little playmate. Hoping so hard for another girl but I'm feeling boy.

My daughter is SO excited. She said "FINALLY!" :rofl:
I keep saying 'she' for our little 4 week old poppyseed, but I am not sure if that's because I only have a 'she'! I had a weird dream where my husband's two sons came to stay with us (teens) and we hadn't ever met them before so we were trying to get to know them. He doesn't have any kids! So maybe that's a sign... :blue:

Also, it's only a 2 hour 20 min flight from Florida... as opposed to 238321 days stuck on a boat. (if that is not accurate, then that's what it would feel like!) A lot more time to relax and get sand in your knickers if you fly down.


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## Fezzle

mumatmadhouse- that is definitely a unique situation! Good luck! I hope you're able to keep things under wraps for now!

Carribean- sounds lovely! I think my parents would also push for some sort of destination wedding for OH and I. They're not so old fashioned that they would be upset about a baby out of wedlock (despite being quite Catholic), but they just want a wedding! PS- they've already got to enjoy my first wedding when I was 22, so I don't see the need for another one!


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## Luvspnk31

mumatmadhouse said:


> Hi all, good to see a few of us in the same boat, lol. I think we are actually clsssed as geriatric mothers past a certain age! Can you believe that?!
> I have a whole other problem with my antenatal care. I have yet to make a gp appointment as I am*quite worried about the midwife letting slip to my daughter accidently. We are going to end up under the same midwives! I really don't want the kids finding out yet due to the losses we've had. As for my daughter I think she may disown me! I really hope they don't get confused with 2 of us at the same address.
> Hope everyone is doing well xx

You're right about the "old" part. My paperwork says "elderly multigravida". Lol. I think they need to change that term. 

Can ur mw say anything to ur daughter? Here that would be a violation that they could get fined for. Hopefully she won't.


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## CaribbeanBaby

Luvspnk31 said:


> You're right about the "old" part. My paperwork says "elderly multigravida". Lol. I think they need to change that term.

OMG that made me laugh so hard. :rofl: I hope I don't see that on my paperwork! Elderly?!


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## Love4you

Thank goodness I'm only noted as advanced maternal age. I'll take it. Though the midwives keep referring to me as an older mom. I guess they haven't heard that 30 something is the new 20 something. Sheesh. 
Anybody go for their first appointment yet? I went in today and had blood taken with a repeat Saturday to make sure they double. I'll get the results Monday. So I get to wonder all weekend. Great.


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## mumatmadhouse

I have everything crossed for you love4you xx

I have decided to make the gp app and give them my mobile number to call instead of the house phone and instructions that they are only to speak to me. That should keep it private, hopefully. 

I am very very happy to report morning sickness this morning! Yay! i figure that if I can get up before the kids in the mornings then the sickness should have passed by the time they get up, lol. I am seriously seeing the funny side of all this. I feel like a special agent on a top secret mission, hahaha! 

Good to hear everyone is doing well xx


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## Love4you

I'm thoroughly amused at the whole situation as well muma. I wish I could be there when you make the announcement! 
Love that you find the humor in it as well &#128522;
Well the doctor didn't call me back last night like they said with my first set of numbers. Today's mission is harassing phone calls til they follow through. 
Appreciate the good wishes!


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## CaribbeanBaby

I won't be able to get an appointment until my 7th or 8th week as I am currently in the Caribbean and won't be back in Australia until the 20th Dec.. so I have to wait until after Christmas.. I might be able to sneak in an appt before then, but only if there is an available time. 

Madhousemum - I would feel paranoid!! I am glad your morning sickness isn't too bad so you can cover it. I feel rotten most of the day at the moment so I don't even want to see anyone in case they suspect!


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## Love4you

I'm definitely not telling any of the family until sometime in January. With this being my 5th, I'm going to start showing any day now. I have zero abdominal muscles left. I'll just let everybody think I'm still holding onto old baby weight. I don't want to be the topic of discussion at Christmas! 
So got my first beta done. Level was 138 for 14 dpo. OB was happy but still a wait and see til after Saturdays draw. 
Keep your fingers crossed!


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## CaribbeanBaby

I made sure my daughter was the very first person to know after my husband. She's part of this so I wanted her to feel like a part of it. I think she's worried my new husband (not her dad) will just create our own new family and leave her out of it, which is very far from the case but 14 yr old girls can be a liiiiittle hormonal at times :wacko:

I told my mum because she's my mum :D We are telling my in-laws on Sunday, for 2 reasons -
1. We won't see them again until February and I want them to know before others. 
2. They are looking at booking a holiday in August next year, but my husband and his mother are the two partners in a law firm so they can't both be away at the same time, and I am wanting my husband to be in Australia with me, having our baby!

I told my 3 very old friends, because two of them have babies, one is TTC. All of them are amazing support and I know no matter what happens, they would be there for me so I trust them.


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## Love4you

Oh I told my family and some co-workers as I'm a nurse and I can't lift patients anymore. But hubby's family will be obnoxious about it and I'm not hearing it during the holidays. 
And yes, you definitely need your hubby in August &#128521;


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## CaribbeanBaby

I am sorry they will be obnoxious :( Is there a reason why? (sorry for prying)


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## Love4you

They'll just make comments about already having 4 and our ages because they think they're funny when they're not. They're just a big dysfunctional family and they never think before they speak. I'm happy right now and I know they'll ruin it somehow with some unnecessary comment. Plus with the alcohol flowing they may say something in front of my kids. 
Think I'll tell them on Facebook next year. When I had my daughter in 2013 they didn't even call or send a card or anything. So it's not like they really care. It's fine. They're his family, not mine. 
Sorry for the rant.


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## CaribbeanBaby

No that's fine :) I am sorry they are like that... not much you can do to change them, I guess. They don't deserve to know at any special time if they don't give a crap.

My mother is so obsessed with my brother's 3 babies (all under 4) that she seems to forget she also has a 14 yr old grandchild. Mum said something about potty training with my niece and I said gross (because it was TMI that wasn't needed for the story) and she said "well if you want to have babies, you need to know things like this!" I looked over at my teenage child and we gave each other a look. Really? Yeah only been a mother for 14 years, I am sure my brother's wife who has been a mother for 3 years could sure teach me something. Gah! /rant lol

I just called her and told her that #5 grandchild is on its way. But the in laws have no grandchildren yet so we are doing a special present opening surprise with them tomorrow :)


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## Love4you

Aw, I'm sure the in-laws will be beyond thrilled. New babies should always be something to celebrate!
My mother is happy because I'm happy and I think that's just how the rest of the world should react as well. 
You should video the new grandparent reaction &#128512;
And I do think the older kids get left out. Everybody wants to hold/cuddle little ones and older siblings can get forgotten a bit. I know I'm guilty of that. I have to remind myself to try to take extra time for my older kids.


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## CaribbeanBaby

Yeah I watched all of the announcement surprise videos, which gave me the idea for the balloon floating up out of a box with a poem attached :)


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## LuvallmyH

Hi ladies! :hi:
I hope it's ok to chime in here. I'm 38 and expecting baby #8! Yes, it was planned & yes we own a tv :haha: We just really find so much joy in our big family. I will be 39 in April & I am 'advanced maternal' age too. At this point I'm sure no one is really surprised we are pregnant again. My oldest (14) is very unhappy. She has a hard time being the oldest of 7 now. It is extremely uncommon where we live to have a big family. Plus she thinks I'm too old. My dh is 54 & most definitely done after this one!
We told most of the family. I haven't made it fb official yet. I don't want to hear any criticism. I don't know why people think it's ok to judge each other's decisions, especially regarding having children.


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## Kiwiberry

Congratulations Mama! I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months! :wohoo:


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## Love4you

Congratulations on 8! Very exciting!! I too love the joy and chaos a big family brings. If we had more room and money than I'd prob have a 6th. 
And totally agreed on the outside criticism. I know I don't ask for opinions nor do I ask for help raising them so I'm not sure why everybody is so free to be rude?
Just tell everybody you wanted an even number &#128521;


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## Kiwiberry

Wish I was pregnant again lol and my preemie is barely 2 months old. She is not even in the full term stage yet.


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## Scout

Just wanted to jump in and wish you all the best. And a big ole Congratulations!! And about age, well, I was 45 when I got pregnant and 46 when I had my little girl. I had been told I couldn't have kids when I was younger, so this was quite the surprise. Actually, thought I was going thru pre menopause when I started getting pregnancy symptoms. Anyways, I will be 48 in three days and I'm chasing after an 18 month old and it's absolutely WONDERFUL! I always say she's the best thing that ever happened to this old woman LOL Congrats again!!


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## Love4you

Congrats on your baby kiwi! She's beautiful!! 
And you could be pregnant for me! I'm a grumpy one &#128521;


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## Love4you

Thank you Scout! I love hearing good stories about us older moms. Makes me feel better &#128515;


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## Kiwiberry

Love4you said:


> Congrats on your baby kiwi! She's beautiful!!
> And you could be pregnant for me! I'm a grumpy one &#128521;

Thank you so much hun! :rofl: I would glady experience it for you! If only that were possible :haha:.


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## Love4you

Got my second beta level and it doubled to 300. So my OB is happy. But now I have an early ultrasound booked for next Tuesday to see if the pregnancy is implanted in the right spot. Another thing to worry about.
How is everybody else?


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## CaribbeanBaby

Hey everyone :) I have been MIA with a terrible migraine, and I can't really take anything for it so I've been (im)patiently waiting for it to go away on its own. It sucked!!!

Shary - Sorry the witch got you :(

Love4You - Good to hear your beta levels doubled :D 

LuvAllMyH - I don't think it's anyone else's business what you do with your family or how big it is. It's YOUR family! Your 14 yr old is probably just grossed out that her parents are having sex :haha: My 14 yr old is very happy because she will no longer be an only child, and she LOVES babies, and I LOVE having a child old enough to be able to help! 

So we did the surprise announcement to the in laws on Sunday. We picked his parents up from the airport and took them back to their place. We'd already dropped around there an hour before to leave the giant gift bag on their table. So my mother in law opened it and a helium balloon floated up to the ceiling with 'New Baby' on it, and dangling from it was a pacifier and a print out of that poem 'I do not have a face to see....' and they were THRILLED! His mum was like 'already!?' (since we only got married in July) I said 'I am 37! We don't mess around' lol They are very, very happy and looking forward to their first grandbaby together.


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## Love4you

Aw, Caribbean! That is adorable!! I love to hear cute stories like that. 
I have no patience and just blurt it out as soon as I find out (well to my immediate family)
Hubby is a wait and see kinda guy so he won't share until after the 12 week scan.


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## CaribbeanBaby

I told EVERYONE I knew when I was pregnant with my daughter, but this time around, I have been a bit more cautious. Also, I didn't find out until 5/6 weeks with her, and I got a BFP at 3.5 weeks this time, so WAY earlier! I am also out of the country, so my friends can't see me which makes it easier not to say anything. Two of my friends had miscarriages earlier in the year, one of them VERY bitter I got married (and she didn't) and that we were trying for a baby. So I am dreading telling her and getting the bitter resentment to try and spoil my happiness. She did it about my engagement ("wtf?! You've known him for FIVE minutes"), and my wedding ("well, at least ONE of us is getting married...") , so she's not getting this one too! 
Once I get home (20th) I will have to start telling people, because I am so bloated people will realise I either got knocked up or gained a bunch of weight lol and my pride won't let them think that :blush:


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## Love4you

I'm totally with you on the bloat! Granted this is my 5th baby but I look 4 months pregnant!! Trying to figure out what I can wear to disguise the belly during Xmas? I figure most will just think I gained weight!
And that sucks about your friend. Nothing like somebody trying to take away your joy. You may need to keep your space until she gets over it.


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## CaribbeanBaby

I normally have a belly anyway, as my daughter was 11lbs 4 and my body never bounced back, but as soon as I eat, I look 4 or 5 months pregnant and it's all up high so it isn't just post baby belly chub... very hard to hide! I have been wearing loose shirts that I am sure make me look fat but right now it's all I have lol


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## Love4you

I love when people think they are covertly staring at your belly. I know they're trying to guess. I'm trying to figure out something cute and slimming for the holidays.


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## CaribbeanBaby

Love4you said:


> I love when people think they are covertly staring at your belly. I know they're trying to guess. I'm trying to figure out something cute and slimming for the holidays.

I noticed after I told my husband's co-worker, her husband kept trying to get glimpses of my belly. Let's face it I am a bit of a fatty anyway so I am sure he was thinking 'How can you tell?' :haha: I've just gone from pudgy to very pudgy!


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## Love4you

You know it's bad when your scrub pants are suddenly too tight. And they're draw-string too!! I look 4-5 months pregnant right now. There better be a sticky baby in there for this much bloat!!


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## LuvallmyH

I've been in full maternity wear since 7w! I know its just crazy bloat, but trying to squeeze into regular clothes just made me look lumpy and fat. It also made my sickness worse!


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## Love4you

Fortunately I wear scrubs to work. At home I'm living in yoga pants and jammies. My tummy is ridiculous. Bloat should not get that BIG!


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## CaribbeanBaby

Hahah I am glad I'm not alone. I feel ridiculous only being 6 weeks in and feeling like I almost have to waddle :haha: I definitely didn't feel like this the first time around!


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## Love4you

I'm with you. I'm feeling a little self conscious with my size. And I still have nothing cute to wear to Christmas dinner.


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## CaribbeanBaby

I just bought us some silly Christmas shirts to wear for Christmas. Mine is the same size as my 6 foot 4, 250 lb husband :sad2: and will probably strain across my boobs after eating :haha:


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## Love4you

That's adorable! I just bought a pair of maternity jeans and some stretchy shirts. Couldn't find anything really holiday fun to wear. And there's no way this bloaty bump will fool anybody. Guess the family will find out next week. I'll keep you posted as to their reactions.


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## CaribbeanBaby

I had my first doctor's appointment yesterday, where she did a urine test to confirm pregnancy, which came up with a very strong dark line within a few seconds. Even though I know I am pregnant, it's always reassuring to confirm you're not crazy lol.. 

I have my first ultrasound scan on the 5th of January, so just under 2 weeks away. I am really looking forward to that!

Right now, just relaxing and getting into the holiday mood. We are finally putting up our tree today, 2 days before Christmas :haha: but we only got home from overseas on the weekend so that's a good excuse! 

I feel so bloated and 'pregnant'. I am getting little crampy pains behind my belly button which don't feel too nice but I know it's normal. My boobs are gigantic and still very sore. I have had no food aversions yet, nor much nausea since week 3. I felt a bit icky yesterday morning before the doctor's appointment, like I hadn't eaten for a whole day, even though I had breakfast a few hours beforehand. So maybe that's the start of morning sickness. Not too bad, so far. 

Hope you're having a lovely Christmas, looking forward to hearing about your family's reactions!


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## Love4you

Ha! They asked us if we knew what birth control was! Seriously. Rude.
Anyways, we hardly ever see the majority of his family so I can deal.
My family is excited :)
I haven't had much in the way of symptoms either, just dizziness, sore boobs, and food aversions. Figured I'd feel worse by now. And I had pink spotting on Xmas Eve which freaked me out. 
Next ultrasound is Tuesday so I'm praying that baby is growing.
Can't wait for your scan!


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## CaribbeanBaby

Wow that's so rude! Doesn't sound like they know about any control themselves. Whatevs. At least your family are excited! 

I would freak out with spotting even though I know it can be normal. I never had any spotting with my daughter and none at all so far with this one. I'm glad you have a scan soon! 

I was upset last night for Christmas dinner :( I spent literally hours preparing this deliciously amazing turkey dinner with all the trimmings and finally we sit down to make pigs of ourselves and.... I barely got through 1/4 of my plate before I felt so full I thought I would puke :cry: NOT FAIR!!!! I just wanted to stuff myself with yummy food but my body wasn't having any part of it. I felt so sick and exhausted I fell asleep at 7pm :( what a boring end to a lovely day. 
Now it's morning and I am planning on gorging on turkey leftovers! 

Hope you had a lovely Christmas!


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## Love4you

The only plus side is now you have plenty of leftovers to have turkey all day. Personally I like it better the next day as a hot open faced sandwich. Yum!
Had more spotting last night so I'm waiting for the office to open and praying they'll scan me today instead. I had bleeding with my first son but not the others so I'm worried.


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## Love4you

Went for our 8 week dating scan today. Baby stopping growing and no more heartbeat. I'm beyond devastated.
Wishing you all the best.


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## LuvallmyH

Love4you said:


> Went for our 8 week dating scan today. Baby stopping growing and no more heartbeat. I'm beyond devastated.
> Wishing you all the best.

Oh Hun, I am so sorry :hugs: Be good to yourself while you try to heal.


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## CaribbeanBaby

Love4you said:


> Went for our 8 week dating scan today. Baby stopping growing and no more heartbeat. I'm beyond devastated.
> Wishing you all the best.

I am so sorry to hear :( :hugs:


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## mumatmadhouse

Love4you I am so sorry to hear this. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal, physically and mentally. Thinking of you xxx


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