# Contact Centres



## xSophieBx

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## xoxsarahxox

not used a contact centre myself as i had alot of bad reviews about them but info i was given- there will be somewhere hall/community centre/church ect in your local town that will be used as a contact centre, unless you have good reason to deny certain people being there then really he will be able to take anyone along with him. the length of the visit can vary and will be discussed between yourselves and your solicitors (assuming you have one) and you will both have to agree on times days and how long the visit will last. when all this is agreed you will have to drop your child off at the contact centre and leave, then collect your child at the time agreed. while your child is at the contact centre the visit will be supervised by someone. the people who supervise the sessions are usually volunteers and its not one on one supervision, there tends to be one superviser for quite a large group of parent/child. hope this helps a little xx


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## lou_w34

For young babies i think courts prefer access to be supervised in their own home, as usually it is a lot for a baby to take in, having to see a parent in a room full of strangers where they dont no anyone. So i think the court looks for a parent to make this option rather than contact centres.

So for your LO a court may prefer it if he could see her in your own home, would that be an issue for fob?

xx


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## billy2mm

i am interested in this too coz if my ex does finally try to see the kids then the only way i will agree is if it is supervised in a contact centre. i would have to be present though coz the youngest hasnt seen his pathetic excuse for a sperm doner since he was 6 weeks old and the eldest doesnt remember him at all and has anxiety issues - its a nightmare getting him into nursery coz he doesnt want to leave me!

in situations like this do they let the other parent stay to supervise?


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## Jade--x

I'm going through a court case with my psycho violent ex and quite frankly they're useless!! 

Through the courts they will try and get you to mediate (sit in a room with solicitors) and try to come to an agreement. If you can't reach an agreement it goes to court.

If you think there is reason that he shouldn't see the baby or it should be supervised then they get CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advice and Support Service) to investigate and do a report that they submit to the court with their recommendations on how contact should progress. (They usually do a monitored contact session between father and baby) 

From my personal experience..CAFCASS are a total waste of time. They didn't care about the serious allegations against my ex..Or the police involvement..And are totally pro-father not caring at all about the child and they always give the father contact. 

They've basically told me..He will have 6 weeks in a supervised contact centre and it will then be moved on to independant contact where my ex (whos threatened to steal my little boy and even asked people to kidnap him) or it will be in an unsupervised contact centre. 

The normal contact centres are basically a centre with loads of children seeing their fathers with toys there and volunteers that watch over things..And unless the courts have said the father is not allowed to take the child from the centre they are allowed to take them out, but even if a court has said they can not take the child out, they can not forcibly stop them. And as a general rule usually the father isn't allowed to take anyone else into the contact centres. 

Hope this helps x


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## billy2mm

what happens if you refuse?


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## Jade--x

Refuse the contact centre? Or the contact with the dad full stop? x


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## billy2mm

Jade--x said:


> Refuse the contact centre? Or the contact with the dad full stop? x

refuse FOB having contact.


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## Jade--x

They make a court order as to when and where the contact will take place and if you don't take the child/children..It will go back to court and you either get fined or sent to prison..And if you get sent to prison the father gets full custody of the child/children. I thought they were just threatening me with it and told them they could try it I'm not going to take my son to contact sessions and I've been told by several people they really do put the mother in jail for it and when I looked on the internet for cases where the mother had been sentenced found more than I thought there would be.x


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## billy2mm

thats not on! most mothers wouldnt withhold their child from the father without good reason! and being jailed for protecting them?!? thats disgusting!


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## Jade--x

billy2mm said:


> thats not on! most mothers wouldnt withhold their child from the father without good reason! and being jailed for protecting them?!? thats disgusting!

I totally agree! There's not justice for mothers. I read in one of the cases I looked up on the internet..One man raped a woman..and a child was concieved as result of the rape..He got found guilty with the DNA evidence of the baby and got sentenced to prison..And he managed to get a court order so that the mother had to take the baby to the prison to see the father not caring about what she had been through and having to stare her rapist in the face and it's absolutely awful. 

And I have a domestic violence support worker who sees alot of cases like mine where the father takes the mother to court over contact and she told me of a past case of hers where the father had abused his 2 daughters for years and years..And the children got forced to see there dad in prison by the court..Because they said the mum would go to prison if they didn't go..And when they refused to go the mother wouldn't forced them and she got took back to court..Recieved a fine and said if she appeared before them again it would be a sentence. Its disgusting!


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## billy2mm

Jade--x said:


> billy2mm said:
> 
> 
> thats not on! most mothers wouldnt withhold their child from the father without good reason! and being jailed for protecting them?!? thats disgusting!
> 
> I totally agree! There's not justice for mothers. I read in one of the cases I looked up on the internet..One man raped a woman..and a child was concieved as result of the rape..He got found guilty with the DNA evidence of the baby and got sentenced to prison..And he managed to get a court order so that the mother had to take the baby to the prison to see the father not caring about what she had been through and having to stare her rapist in the face and it's absolutely awful.
> 
> And I have a domestic violence support worker who sees alot of cases like mine where the father takes the mother to court over contact and she told me of a past case of hers where the father had abused his 2 daughters for years and years..And the children got forced to see there dad in prison by the court..Because they said the mum would go to prison if they didn't go..And when they refused to go the mother wouldn't forced them and she got took back to court..Recieved a fine and said if she appeared before them again it would be a sentence. Its disgusting!Click to expand...

i feel sick after reading that!


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## xSophieBx

Only just seen this. OMG, is all tht def true? Ive been talking to loads of men that have been through it though and they had to really struggle and took ageeeeees for them 2 get any access to their children and was always in contact centres, and can take months for them 2 b able to up their time! xx


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## Jade--x

They say it's a slow process to getting proper contact..But the contact centre is the 1st step but..my ex started the whole solicitors and courts thing in April 2009 and we're still battling it out in court and at the minute he gets supervised contact in a childrens centre with paid people for an hour and a half every 2 weeks..But that's only for 6 weeks. And the FOB can refuse a contact centre aswell and in some cases (depending on the bond with the child and how old they are) a judge will allow them to have contact at their home.

But to be honest until August 2010 I'd managed to make sure he hadn't seen him at all..So it can get dragged out. 

Things like overnight or weekends they won't happen for a few years. And usually the contact centres will be for an hour every week and then built up as time goes on before they'll let FOB have independant contact away from the contact centre (at their house or in a park for example)


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