# How do you cope with other women's pregnancies?



## Ruth2307

Hello

I am looking for some tips and advice on how you cope when either a friend or relative announces a pregnancy.

I realise that this depends on a number of factors i.e. who this person is to you, where you are on your 'journey' (an overused word but can't think of a better one!), the day of your cycle, where you are when you hear the news -I think you can see what I'm getting at.

Many times I just don't know how to react and by the time I've regained some composure I have given myself away and it's all I can do not to burst into tears. Or the words of congratulations stick in my throat and my smile is so fake! It's a tough one because you don't want to take away from their joy and happiness but at the same time it's hard to even speak when inside you feel something has died.

Also what do you tell people when they ask the dreaded 'don't you want kids then?' or questions of that ilk? At the moment I just say 'it didn't happen for me' but that sounds so lame!

Sorry if this has already been dealt with on this forum but I had a read through previous threads and I couldn't see it.

Thanks ladies...

Ruth xxxx


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## GraceFace

Ruth2307 said:


> Hello
> 
> I am looking for some tips and advice on how you cope when either a friend or relative announces a pregnancy.
> 
> I realise that this depends on a number of factors i.e. who this person is to you, where you are on your 'journey' (an overused word but can't think of a better one!), the day of your cycle, where you are when you hear the news -I think you can see what I'm getting at.
> 
> Many times I just don't know how to react and by the time I've regained some composure I have given myself away and it's all I can do not to burst into tears. Or the words of congratulations stick in my throat and my smile is so fake! It's a tough one because you don't want to take away from their joy and happiness but at the same time it's hard to even speak when inside you feel something has died.
> 
> Also what do you tell people when they ask the dreaded 'don't you want kids then?' or questions of that ilk? At the moment I just say 'it didn't happen for me' but that sounds so lame!
> 
> Sorry if this has already been dealt with on this forum but I had a read through previous threads and I couldn't see it.
> 
> Thanks ladies...
> 
> Ruth xxxx

Ruth, none of my friends are looking to ttc. They have all had their babies and are done. I have no one to share this with except OH and he is of the opinion that if it happens "GREAT!" and if it doesn't, well then we have years to enjoy each other. I have one friend who I shared this with and he told me he would beat me with a stick if I end up pregnant. How's that for support? Well, since it really isn't his decision I just let it roll off my back. Other than that, when a pregnant woman walks by me I just pretend to spit at her! LOL! I know it isn't nice, but I have to do something to stay sane!:hugs:


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## luvmydoggies

Ruth2307 said:


> Hello
> 
> I am looking for some tips and advice on how you cope when either a friend or relative announces a pregnancy.
> 
> I realise that this depends on a number of factors i.e. who this person is to you, where you are on your 'journey' (an overused word but can't think of a better one!), the day of your cycle, where you are when you hear the news -I think you can see what I'm getting at.
> 
> Many times I just don't know how to react and by the time I've regained some composure I have given myself away and it's all I can do not to burst into tears. Or the words of congratulations stick in my throat and my smile is so fake! It's a tough one because you don't want to take away from their joy and happiness but at the same time it's hard to even speak when inside you feel something has died.
> 
> Also what do you tell people when they ask the dreaded 'don't you want kids then?' or questions of that ilk? At the moment I just say 'it didn't happen for me' but that sounds so lame!
> 
> Sorry if this has already been dealt with on this forum but I had a read through previous threads and I couldn't see it.
> 
> Thanks ladies...
> 
> Ruth xxxx

Hi Ruth,
I also find it difficult to hear the news of a pregnancy. I try and smile but I'm heartbroken at the same time. My dh cousin announced to the family that she was 3 months pg on facebook....and it was like a stab in my heart.:cry: All of my friends, family and in-laws are either pregnant or have just recently had children. I know that when my cousin called me...to announce her second pregnancy, I told her I was happy for her but I could here the phony voice of mine...it was only b/c I was so sad that yet again someone around me is pg but not me. My dh and I always get the same question too..."when are you two going to have kids????" I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs we are trying, obviously, it hasn't happened yet!!! It's just my frustration coming out. Honestly, I don't know how to deal with it. I'm sure, I totally didn''t help you. 
sorry for the rant.


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## Ruth2307

Yes, you did help me: I don't feel as if I'm the only one sounding fake!!

People either assume that I am a selfish, career woman who's not interested in kids only in clothes, shoes, skincare, travelling and doing up my house or they think that I already have children and they ask ridiculous questions. Once I was alone in the waiting room at the Dr's surgery just before xmas and this woman trying to make small talk asked me if my little ones had already broken up from school for the holidays. As always I had that vacant look on my face when I was trying to think a) what she was talking about and b) how I was going to reply without having to hear the shocked 'you haven't got any children?' question. I'm sure people must think I am a little slow at times because of my delayed reaction!


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## gilkar

Yeah, I just heard today a co-worker in my section (like a few feet away from me) is about 04 months pregnant. She's not announced it yet, but since I just got my own news on Monday, of my ICSI failure, I'm not overly over joyed. While, yes, I have a daughter already, who's 20 months, from a previous ICSI, so what ? Now, I have new problems, like is she going to grow up alone ? Christmas, Easter, no one to open up gifts with. We're older, so who will be lean to, when we're gone one day ? 

~ Baby dust to us all !~ And pretty damn quick !~

Karen


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## Spoomie

Hi Ruth

I'm amazed that it's still acceptable for people to ask, When will you have children/Didn't you want them?!!! People are so clueless, I would NEVER ask a woman that.

My response would be 'badly', I deal with it badly - inside and outside. I think all kinds of nasty thoughts and then hate myself for doing so. I know a woman who is 2 weeks ahead of where my lost pregnancy should have been and I can barely speak in words of more than one syllable to her. Seeing her growing bump is so hard and makes me feel such a deep, painful longing. What I actually want to say to her is, Go away because every time I look at you I ache for my baby. She knew about my m/c and every time I see her she asks how I am and I just want to say, How do you think? I'm a mess! I know I am prickly and that my tension and distress makes me sound terse but small talk with pregnant women is too much to bear. I have a 2.5 year old and going back to playgroups for him has been so terribly difficult.

Thinking of you, be strong and keep the faith x


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## velo

Fortunately no one around me is pregnant at the moment. I think I could be happy for them but if they complain about being pregnant I'm sure the rage would fuel up inside.

Also a few people have hinted around the question when are you going to have kids? but mostly are too polite to ask it outright so I play dumb. 

In the last year we have moved to a new community. So whenever we meet new people the first question they always ask is "Do you have kids?". Its starting to get to me a bit though I know they are just being friendly and if they have kids themselves are obviously interested in finding out new potential playmates.


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## luvmydoggies

Ruth2307 said:


> Yes, you did help me: I don't feel as if I'm the only one sounding fake!!
> 
> People either assume that I am a selfish, career woman who's not interested in kids only in clothes, shoes, skincare, travelling and doing up my house or they think that I already have children and they ask ridiculous questions. Once I was alone in the waiting room at the Dr's surgery just before xmas and this woman trying to make small talk asked me if my little ones had already broken up from school for the holidays. As always I had that vacant look on my face when I was trying to think a) what she was talking about and b) how I was going to reply without having to hear the shocked 'you haven't got any children?' question. I'm sure people must think I am a little slow at times because of my delayed reaction!

I'm glad it helped. I can't imagine what I would do if someone said that to me. She was out of line to ask you that. She should have just been minding her own beezwax. I get the same thing! That all my dh and I want to do is be alone, travel, drink, work, social etc... They don't understand the heartache of seeing a bfn on a preg,. test month after month. I would gladly give all that up to hear the little pitter patter of my childs feet running around me. 
Ruth,gracface,gilkar,spoomie,velo: wishing all of us lot's of :dust:


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## luvmydoggies

velo said:


> Fortunately no one around me is pregnant at the moment. I think I could be happy for them but if they complain about being pregnant I'm sure the rage would fuel up inside.
> 
> Also a few people have hinted around the question when are you going to have kids? but mostly are too polite to ask it outright so I play dumb.
> 
> In the last year we have moved to a new community. So whenever we meet new people the first question they always ask is "Do you have kids?". Its starting to get to me a bit though I know they are just being friendly and if they have kids themselves are obviously interested in finding out new potential playmates.

Hi Velo, I noticed that we are both the same age, I'm 37 also ttc my first. We are also on the same cycle day, CD4! Dh and I have been trying for 2yrs+ and he has issues with his "soldiers". He is on vitamins at the moment, so we are hoping that he can get his numbers up!


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## velo

luvmydoggies said:


> Hi Velo, I noticed that we are both the same age, I'm 37 also ttc my first. We are also on the same cycle day, CD4! Dh and I have been trying for 2yrs+ and he has issues with his "soldiers". He is on vitamins at the moment, so we are hoping that he can get his numbers up!

Yay we can be cycle buddies. FX for both of us this cycle. Hope the vitamins help with his soldiers. I am bugging my DH to cut out coffee and alcohol to help the soldiers, but he refuses to give up coffee at least until he sees a SA! We are going to get one done soon but have to wait until he is off antibiotics.


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## luvmydoggies

I would love to have you as my cycle buddy! :happydance: I'm pretty new at the forum, so do we just check in on each other? See when we are going to test?


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## wish4babybump

I work in a pharmacy that has a close relationship with the fertility clinic, so I probably see more pregnant women than the average but I try to take this as a positive thing as I know what they have been through. What gets me is when the women in their early 20's are telling me not to wait till I'm their age, as I look young, but inside I am pulling at my hair and screaming I am 36 !! I know age alone isn't the only factor in fertility. But I have had my share of surgeries. First in October/2009 to remove a 15cm fibroid (hopefully there isn't a lot of scar tissue and it is not affecting my fertility) I will need a c-section because of it. Then this month I had a polyp removed. We've been trying since Apr/2010. 

Some days are harder then others, but I've been able to hold back the tears when in front of people, but I too know that I must look and sound fake.

To GraceFace : I like the idea of pretending to spit on pregnant women though lol, made me laugh, I'll have to remember that. :hugs:


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## luvmydoggies

wish4babybump said:


> I work in a pharmacy that has a close relationship with the fertility clinic, so I probably see more pregnant women than the average but I try to take this as a positive thing as I know what they have been through. What gets me is when the women in their early 20's are telling me not to wait till I'm their age, as I look young, but inside I am pulling at my hair and screaming I am 36 !! I know age alone isn't the only factor in fertility. But I have had my share of surgeries. First in October/2009 to remove a 15cm fibroid (hopefully there isn't a lot of scar tissue and it is not affecting my fertility) I will need a c-section because of it. Then this month I had a polyp removed. We've been trying since Apr/2010.
> 
> Some days are harder then others, but I've been able to hold back the tears when in front of people, but I too know that I must look and sound fake.
> 
> To GraceFace : I like the idea of pretending to spit on pregnant women though lol, made me laugh, I'll have to remember that. :hugs:

That must be really hard for you! I'm so sorry.:hugs: I also look very young for my age, I'm 37.
Most people think I'm in my 20's (i wish). So, they seem to think I have plenty of time. I don't feel old. I wish I could have started a family earlier but life did not work out that way. I got married when I was 30 and got diagnosed with an illness when I was 31(un-related to fertility) so that put off trying for a very long time! That is why I am so happy I found baby and bump because I don't have anyone around me that understands. Anyway, GL and lots of :dust: to you.


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## Ruth2307

I am 37 too!! People don't think I'm as old as I am either and get the 'there's plenty of time' comments, which wind me up a bit. 

For the last 11 months I've had a 'perfect' 28 day cycle but following an excruitiating HSG that left me with an infection at the beginning of this month I've ended up with a slightly longer cycle. 

I'd love a cycle buddy but I don't know if I'm on CD1 or CD2: (apologies if this is TMI but I'm sure you'll understand) last night when I went to the loo there was some blood but this morning I'm bleeding properly. When should I count from, yesterday or today?

Thanks for all of your replies - it means so much to me.
xxxx


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## inkdchick

im 44 and had my last daughter at age 27 so nearly 20 years ago and have been trying for another baby with new hubby now ofr 3 years, had 5 early m/c's and have now been having acupuncture and taking agnus cactus this cycle to see if it helps , so far i notice a difference in myself and the acupuncturist says its looking promising so she will continue to get my progesterone levels ups as this was my problem. My progesterone kept dropping after i got pregnant and then couldnt sustain it so shed the pregnancy, so hopefully with her help it will work for us. 
The success rate of acupuncture is around 85% for all unexplained infertility , i would recommend it as so many others have.
Good luck xx


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## inkdchick

Ruth if it was bright red blood yesterday count yesterday as day 1 hun


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## Jax41

Hi girlies - I'm with you all on this one - totally. My stab in the heart was when DH's DS announced last year that girlfriend was expecting (lovely little girl arrived safely last September). Forget the Kings Speech, I would have won an Oscar for my performance but it absolutely winded me, DH and I fell out for days because I had been banging on for years about us having one of our own and I'd always said my worst nightmare would be one of his getting there before us - he just didn't understand my 'over reaction' - men!!! I've got over it now (DH hugely guilty) but it took me a long time, I'm not proud of my inner feelings but hey I'm only human....:flower:

My one thing I hate being told is 'you're lucky you've not got kids, your life must be so good'. Err, excuse me what an unfeeling, unkind thing to say, you have no idea what you are talking about!!!! I can't find the right words to respond so I don't......

It's hard, I know, my heart goes out to all of us and I guess when we do get our BFP's, bumps and babies they'll all say 'bit old aren't you, clock ticking too loudly was it?. £$*! off, I don't care and it's none of your business!!!!! I'm ready with that one!!:thumbup:

Loads of luv, luck and baby dust girls lets show them and get those bubs!!:baby::baby:
:dust::dust:


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## Conina

No-one around me has been pregnant while we've been TTC, but I'm totally with you on people asking "When are you thinking...?" It REALLY annoys me, especially as it always seems to be people with very little connection to me (wives of friends of DH, Dh's brother's GF...). My best friends would know better NOT to ask, why do these people think they have the right???

The worse one was DH's friend's wife, who asked me, and I gave my standard response ("We're still practising!"), to which she replied, "Yes, (her husband) says you're really into your career"

:growlmad::growlmad::growlmad: 

(Although karma has now hit her - she's had twins when her daughter was only 18 months and is having a nightmare coping with them all. I shouldn't laugh...)


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## Ruth2307

Jax41 said:


> Hi girlies - I'm with you all on this one - totally. My stab in the heart was when DH's DS announced last year that girlfriend was expecting (lovely little girl arrived safely last September). Forget the Kings Speech, I would have won an Oscar for my performance but it absolutely winded me, DH and I fell out for days because I had been banging on for years about us having one of our own and I'd always said my worst nightmare would be one of his getting there before us - he just didn't understand my 'over reaction' - men!!! I've got over it now (DH hugely guilty) but it took me a long time, I'm not proud of my inner feelings but hey I'm only human....:flower:
> 
> My one thing I hate being told is 'you're lucky you've not got kids, your life must be so good'. Err, excuse me what an unfeeling, unkind thing to say, you have no idea what you are talking about!!!! I can't find the right words to respond so I don't......
> 
> It's hard, I know, my heart goes out to all of us and I guess when we do get our BFP's, bumps and babies they'll all say 'bit old aren't you, clock ticking too loudly was it?. £$*! off, I don't care and it's none of your business!!!!! I'm ready with that one!!:thumbup:
> 
> Loads of luv, luck and baby dust girls lets show them and get those bubs!!:baby::baby:
> :dust::dust:

I am SOOOOO glad I joined this site. Jax I loved your post!! Although this is such a sensitive and emotive subject we are still managing to make each other laugh. Thank you thank you thank you.

PS finally heard from hospital today: left tube is definitely blocked - am GUTTED!


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## Storm1jet2

I usually go for the fake smile and congratulations and act breezy - I have been known to go home for a little cry though, its not that I begrudge their happiness I'd just like some myself. My little 7 year old nephew asked me at the dinner table one week (at my folks) if I was ever going to have babies, I said I honestly didn't know, to which he said I hope you do, I'd like more cousins. Sweet and innocent of him but made me really sad :flower:


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## Storm1jet2

GraceFace said:


> Ruth2307 said:
> 
> 
> Hello
> 
> I am looking for some tips and advice on how you cope when either a friend or relative announces a pregnancy.
> 
> I realise that this depends on a number of factors i.e. who this person is to you, where you are on your 'journey' (an overused word but can't think of a better one!), the day of your cycle, where you are when you hear the news -I think you can see what I'm getting at.
> 
> Many times I just don't know how to react and by the time I've regained some composure I have given myself away and it's all I can do not to burst into tears. Or the words of congratulations stick in my throat and my smile is so fake! It's a tough one because you don't want to take away from their joy and happiness but at the same time it's hard to even speak when inside you feel something has died.
> 
> Also what do you tell people when they ask the dreaded 'don't you want kids then?' or questions of that ilk? At the moment I just say 'it didn't happen for me' but that sounds so lame!
> 
> Sorry if this has already been dealt with on this forum but I had a read through previous threads and I couldn't see it.
> 
> Thanks ladies...
> 
> Ruth xxxx
> 
> Ruth, none of my friends are looking to ttc. They have all had their babies and are done. I have no one to share this with except OH and he is of the opinion that if it happens "GREAT!" and if it doesn't, well then we have years to enjoy each other. I have one friend who I shared this with and he told me he would beat me with a stick if I end up pregnant. How's that for support? Well, since it really isn't his decision I just let it roll off my back. Other than that, when a pregnant woman walks by me I just pretend to spit at her! LOL! I know it isn't nice, but I have to do something to stay sane!:hugs:Click to expand...

Why did your friend say that? Why would you not want to have a baby now?


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## GraceFace

Storm1jet2 said:


> GraceFace said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ruth2307 said:
> 
> 
> Hello
> 
> I am looking for some tips and advice on how you cope when either a friend or relative announces a pregnancy.
> 
> I realise that this depends on a number of factors i.e. who this person is to you, where you are on your 'journey' (an overused word but can't think of a better one!), the day of your cycle, where you are when you hear the news -I think you can see what I'm getting at.
> 
> Many times I just don't know how to react and by the time I've regained some composure I have given myself away and it's all I can do not to burst into tears. Or the words of congratulations stick in my throat and my smile is so fake! It's a tough one because you don't want to take away from their joy and happiness but at the same time it's hard to even speak when inside you feel something has died.
> 
> Also what do you tell people when they ask the dreaded 'don't you want kids then?' or questions of that ilk? At the moment I just say 'it didn't happen for me' but that sounds so lame!
> 
> Sorry if this has already been dealt with on this forum but I had a read through previous threads and I couldn't see it.
> 
> Thanks ladies...
> 
> Ruth xxxx
> 
> Ruth, none of my friends are looking to ttc. They have all had their babies and are done. I have no one to share this with except OH and he is of the opinion that if it happens "GREAT!" and if it doesn't, well then we have years to enjoy each other. I have one friend who I shared this with and he told me he would beat me with a stick if I end up pregnant. How's that for support? Well, since it really isn't his decision I just let it roll off my back. Other than that, when a pregnant woman walks by me I just pretend to spit at her! LOL! I know it isn't nice, but I have to do something to stay sane!:hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> Why did your friend say that? Why would you not want to have a baby now?Click to expand...

I asked myself the same question and I can't come up with an answer that will allow our friendship to continue....


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## Storm1jet2

GF

You know what - thats probably for the best, people say thee most stupid things at times and sometimes you just have to let it go or agree to disagree!

Well I sincerely hope you do end up with a :bfp: very soon :baby:


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## GraceFace

Storm1jet2 said:


> GF
> 
> You know what - thats probably for the best, people say thee most stupid things at times and sometimes you just have to let it go or agree to disagree!
> 
> Well I sincerely hope you do end up with a :bfp: very soon :baby:

I have put it out of my mind for the most part because he is gay, but also has a daughter, sooooooo..... I tell myself that it has to be just a tid bit of jealousy that I am happy with someone and my poor friend is very lonely.

Thank you for the well wishes and same to you! :hugs:


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## kosh

how do I cope? two words: really badly.

a colleague at work is about 4 months pregnant. we work side by side but we do not get on very well (nothing serious, just very different styles, she's very competitive, I'm a team person). Despite all that I was actually happy for her when she told me. 
we never talked about pregnancy before (she does not know I am TTC or that I had a MC in december), but since she found out she's pregnant, she started making comments like 'i saw these xxx vitamins and they garantee that you get pregnant, maybe you should try them'.
reeeaaally? oh thank you very much! i now know that I am not getting pregnant because i did not take your wonderful vitamins! :growlmad:
why do people think that they can make comment when they do not know about your personal circumnstances???

anyway, sorry about that, back to your question. 
everytime that i notice her bump growing i want to cry. I can't help thinking 'I'd be xx months by now' :cry:


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## Spoomie

kosh said:


> how do I cope? two words: really badly.
> 
> a colleague at work is about 4 months pregnant. we work side by side but we do not get on very well (nothing serious, just very different styles, she's very competitive, I'm a team person). Despite all that I was actually happy for her when she told me.
> we never talked about pregnancy before (she does not know I am TTC or that I had a MC in december), but since she found out she's pregnant, she started making comments like 'i saw these xxx vitamins and they garantee that you get pregnant, maybe you should try them'.
> reeeaaally? oh thank you very much! i now know that I am not getting pregnant because i did not take your wonderful vitamins! :growlmad:
> why do people think that they can make comment when they do not know about your personal circumnstances???
> 
> anyway, sorry about that, back to your question.
> everytime that i notice her bump growing i want to cry. I can't help thinking 'I'd be xx months by now' :cry:

Hi Kosh

I'm sorry for you and for your loss. See my post further back, we seem to be similar in finding it difficult, though I'm obviously a far worse person than you are as I am now far too prickly about it for anyone even to consider saying such a thing! I'd be tempted to tell her about my loss just so she is forced to feel terrible about her comments! See, I am a truly nasty person!!!

Stay strong, your time will come x


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## Jax41

Ruth2307 said:


> Jax41 said:
> 
> 
> Hi girlies - I'm with you all on this one - totally. My stab in the heart was when DH's DS announced last year that girlfriend was expecting (lovely little girl arrived safely last September). Forget the Kings Speech, I would have won an Oscar for my performance but it absolutely winded me, DH and I fell out for days because I had been banging on for years about us having one of our own and I'd always said my worst nightmare would be one of his getting there before us - he just didn't understand my 'over reaction' - men!!! I've got over it now (DH hugely guilty) but it took me a long time, I'm not proud of my inner feelings but hey I'm only human....:flower:
> 
> My one thing I hate being told is 'you're lucky you've not got kids, your life must be so good'. Err, excuse me what an unfeeling, unkind thing to say, you have no idea what you are talking about!!!! I can't find the right words to respond so I don't......
> 
> It's hard, I know, my heart goes out to all of us and I guess when we do get our BFP's, bumps and babies they'll all say 'bit old aren't you, clock ticking too loudly was it?. £$*! off, I don't care and it's none of your business!!!!! I'm ready with that one!!:thumbup:
> 
> Loads of luv, luck and baby dust girls lets show them and get those bubs!!:baby::baby:
> :dust::dust:
> 
> I am SOOOOO glad I joined this site. Jax I loved your post!! Although this is such a sensitive and emotive subject we are still managing to make each other laugh. Thank you thank you thank you.
> 
> PS finally heard from hospital today: left tube is definitely blocked - am GUTTED!Click to expand...

Ahh Ruth no, bums! I'm so sorry hun, what are they going to do for you? Something positive I hope and soon!! At least if we can make each other smile it helps us through the heartache too:hugs:xXx


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## Ruth2307

Ahh Ruth no, bums! I'm so sorry hun, what are they going to do for you? Something positive I hope and soon!! At least if we can make each other smile it helps us through the heartache too:hugs:xXx[/QUOTE]

The letter delivered the news and then said that I would seen at my follow up appt on..................... wait for it.................19th July.


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## inkdchick

i try to be happy for them in the hope that it will happen for us one day soon xx
ITS SO HARD THO !!
My best friend of 45 ) a year older than me ), has just found out she is pregnant with triplets - natural conception by the way and she is a binge drinker, smoker and party animal , it made me want to scream at her but you cant do that and just have to grit your teeth .
to make matter s worse im the only one she has told , not even her family knows , so confided in me when she know s we have been trying for so long with 5 early m/c in the last 18 months and then comes to me and says she is pregnant , but i kept my cool and when so goes home after seeing me even now i cry a bit and then pull myself together and think it will happen and calm myself down and just carry on like i dont know , its the only way i cope


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## luvmydoggies

Ruth2307 said:


> I am 37 too!! People don't think I'm as old as I am either and get the 'there's plenty of time' comments, which wind me up a bit.
> 
> For the last 11 months I've had a 'perfect' 28 day cycle but following an excruitiating HSG that left me with an infection at the beginning of this month I've ended up with a slightly longer cycle.
> 
> I'd love a cycle buddy but I don't know if I'm on CD1 or CD2: (apologies if this is TMI but I'm sure you'll understand) last night when I went to the loo there was some blood but this morning I'm bleeding properly. When should I count from, yesterday or today?
> 
> Thanks for all of your replies - it means so much to me.
> xxxx

We can be cycle buddies too. You are just a couple days behind me. I will add you as a friend. Sound good? That is what velo and I did yesterday. We will keep track of each other. I have read...at least this is what my clear blue easy monitor says..is to count the day you bleed as CD1...not spotting. Yay! we are both 37! I just read your other post about one blocked tube. I have read lot's of positive stories about women getting pg with one blocked tube. I'm also sorry that your hsg was so painful...haven't had one of those yet b/c the RE thinks it's male factor. I'm so sorry they will not see you until July. Is there anyway that you can call someone to make it any earlier??? I am in the U.S. so I'm not sure how the U.K. health system works.


----------



## luvmydoggies

Ruth, I sent you a friend request. :)


----------



## velo

luvmydoggies said:


> I would love to have you as my cycle buddy! :happydance: I'm pretty new at the forum, so do we just check in on each other? See when we are going to test?

I'm pretty new here too, but I figure just keep tabs on where we are at esp in the long and horrid TWW!


----------



## velo

Ruth2307 said:


> I am 37 too!! People don't think I'm as old as I am either and get the 'there's plenty of time' comments, which wind me up a bit.
> 
> For the last 11 months I've had a 'perfect' 28 day cycle but following an excruitiating HSG that left me with an infection at the beginning of this month I've ended up with a slightly longer cycle.
> 
> I'd love a cycle buddy but I don't know if I'm on CD1 or CD2: (apologies if this is TMI but I'm sure you'll understand) last night when I went to the loo there was some blood but this morning I'm bleeding properly. When should I count from, yesterday or today?
> 
> Thanks for all of your replies - it means so much to me.
> xxxx

Welcome Ruth! Hey its always good to be mistaken for being younger I think. Does not happen to me as the grey hairs have started a-sproutin'. 

I count from the first day I need to use a pad/tampon. So if I had nothing until the evening, when its just on the TP and then regular bleeding and pad in the morning, I would count it from the second day.


----------



## luvmydoggies

velo said:


> luvmydoggies said:
> 
> 
> I would love to have you as my cycle buddy! :happydance: I'm pretty new at the forum, so do we just check in on each other? See when we are going to test?
> 
> I'm pretty new here too, but I figure just keep tabs on where we are at esp in the long and horrid TWW!Click to expand...

Sounds good to me! :)


----------



## Ruth2307

luvmydoggies said:


> Ruth2307 said:
> 
> 
> I am 37 too!! People don't think I'm as old as I am either and get the 'there's plenty of time' comments, which wind me up a bit.
> 
> For the last 11 months I've had a 'perfect' 28 day cycle but following an excruitiating HSG that left me with an infection at the beginning of this month I've ended up with a slightly longer cycle.
> 
> I'd love a cycle buddy but I don't know if I'm on CD1 or CD2: (apologies if this is TMI but I'm sure you'll understand) last night when I went to the loo there was some blood but this morning I'm bleeding properly. When should I count from, yesterday or today?
> 
> Thanks for all of your replies - it means so much to me.
> xxxx
> 
> We can be cycle buddies too. You are just a couple days behind me. I will add you as a friend. Sound good? That is what velo and I did yesterday. We will keep track of each other. I have read...at least this is what my clear blue easy monitor says..is to count the day you bleed as CD1...not spotting. Yay! we are both 37! I just read your other post about one blocked tube. I have read lot's of positive stories about women getting pg with one blocked tube. I'm also sorry that your hsg was so painful...haven't had one of those yet b/c the RE thinks it's male factor. I'm so sorry they will not see you until July. Is there anyway that you can call someone to make it any earlier??? I am in the U.S. so I'm not sure how the U.K. health system works.Click to expand...

Thanks for agreeing to be my cycle buddy. :flower:

I haven't told many people about the blocked tube but the couple I have mentioned it to have said much the same as you i.e. it's not all over yet. To make matters worse I also have PCOS so ovulation can be a very much hit and miss affair but I am trying to remain upbeat. I had a sneaky suspicion that that was the problem because of the way the team were behaving immediately after the HSG but the nearly 4 week wait to get the result just prolonged the disappointment. 

You do not want to know about the UK NHS. It is a large, unwieldy and bureaucratic monster and can be as fantastic as it is dreadful. There is little or no chance of bringing my appt forward. Actually it's not unheard of for an appt to be cancelled altogether...](*,)](*,)

Today was my Day 2 FSH, LH blood test but I won't hold my breath for those results!

As it was payday yesterday I did what I normally do when I feel sad: bought some shoes!! :happydance:


----------



## luvmydoggies

Hello,:hi: Ruth
It is certainly not over! I have also heard positive stories about one tube and pcos! I'm glad we are cycle buddies too.:flower: The insurance here in the U.S. is not that great either, it just depends on what plan you have and what's covered and not covered. For example, my insurance plan does not cover IVF. So if my husband and I had to go that route, we would have to pay cash.

Retail therapy...that always helps me too. I love to buy shoes!

I hope they don't cancel your appointment, since you have to wait so long.
Let's keep track of each other. Have a good weekend!!! :)


----------



## Rowan75

to be honest I used to cry and feel really envious maybe a year or so ago but since my mc's now I just worry that everythings ok for them and hope their baby is ok so they dont have to go through horrible stuff 

Im a nightmare when people are going for scans I think I worry as much if not more than they do :)

It was hard buying clothes for my friends babies when they were born the week mine should have been but at the same time Im just so grateful that it went ok for them 

fingers crossed for healthy and happy babies for all of us x


----------



## LulaBug

GraceFace said:


> Ruth, none of my friends are looking to ttc. They have all had their babies and are done. I have no one to share this with except OH and he is of the opinion that if it happens "GREAT!" and if it doesn't, well then we have years to enjoy each other. I have one friend who I shared this with and he told me he would beat me with a stick if I end up pregnant. How's that for support? Well, since it really isn't his decision I just let it roll off my back. Other than that, *when a pregnant woman walks by me I just pretend to spit at her! LOL! I know it isn't nice, but I have to do something to stay sane*!:hugs:

I'm sorry but....WTF???? :dohh:

What an incredibly offensive and disgusting thing to say! Even moreso because the pregnant woman who walks by you who you're imagining to spit on could have been in exactly the same situation as you and tried for months, even years to get the blessing of being pregnant. 

I have so much sympathy and respect for people who are TTC because I was there once myself so know exactly how you're feeling because I have PCOS and didn't think I'd ever be able to have children, luckily for me I got there in the end, but it took a while. You can't complain about pregnant women saying things and being insensitive when you TTC ladies come out with atrocious things like that. It's just not nice at all. 

:nope::nope:


----------



## Indigo77

Well, lulabug will certainly not like this, but ....
If someone around me is pregnant, I tell them they look fat...
If someone announces that she is expecting, I tell her she is going to get fat....


----------



## Indigo77

Just kidding....


----------



## Ruth2307

LulaBug said:


> GraceFace said:
> 
> 
> Ruth, none of my friends are looking to ttc. They have all had their babies and are done. I have no one to share this with except OH and he is of the opinion that if it happens "GREAT!" and if it doesn't, well then we have years to enjoy each other. I have one friend who I shared this with and he told me he would beat me with a stick if I end up pregnant. How's that for support? Well, since it really isn't his decision I just let it roll off my back. Other than that, *when a pregnant woman walks by me I just pretend to spit at her! LOL! I know it isn't nice, but I have to do something to stay sane*!:hugs:
> 
> I'm sorry but....WTF???? :dohh:
> 
> What an incredibly offensive and disgusting thing to say! Even moreso because the pregnant woman who walks by you who you're imagining to spit on could have been in exactly the same situation as you and tried for months, even years to get the blessing of being pregnant.
> 
> I have so much sympathy and respect for people who are TTC because I was there once myself so know exactly how you're feeling because I have PCOS and didn't think I'd ever be able to have children, luckily for me I got there in the end, but it took a while. You can't complain about pregnant women saying things and being insensitive when you TTC ladies come out with atrocious things like that. It's just not nice at all.
> 
> :nope::nope:Click to expand...

I am sure that there was an element of 'tongue in cheek' about Gracefaces' comment. :winkwink: 

As inappropriate as it may be I have to be honest and admit that there are times when I have seen a pregnant woman and felt such longing and envy that yes, it does tip over into directing my thoughts at her. :blush: Completely unfair and totally irrational even more so if I dont know this woman from Eve! Childlessness has taken my mind to places I never thought I'd go to. That's part of the reason I posted in the first place in order to get some advice on how to deal with this whirlwind of emotions. 

However at lot of the time the disappointment is at its stongest when it's someone that I _know  who announces her pregnancy rather than just random women I may come into contact with.

Thank you very much for your comment, as you are right to remind of us the fact that billions of women have fertilility problems. We sometimes have no idea of their circumstances and how long they have been battling and this may well be a long awaited child. It's good to get some perspective again. 

It's wonderfully comforting to know that you have not forgotten about the pain and emptiness you can feel during this time because sad to say some women I come into contact with have incredibly short memories and I have experienced an element of 'rubbing my nose in it' (both intentionally and unintentionally) when they have crossed over into pregnancy and motherhood. I am thankful for women like you who remain empathetic and also give us hope. _


----------



## zowieboo

Hi there, I have just joined this site today because I am feeling totally down at all those around me getting pregnant. We have been trying for so nearly 5 years now and so far nothing. About to start IVF in the summer but just feeling like a total failure today, its such a bad feeling but I feel a bit happier now I know I am not alone. :cry: I cope with being tpold the news by being overly enthsiastic and its so false but I feel like I want to look strong and confident when its the complete opposite, also I hate when people tell you and look kinda sad at you as if waiting for you to break down.

I am looking for some tips and advice on how you cope when either a friend or relative announces a pregnancy.

I realise that this depends on a number of factors i.e. who this person is to you, where you are on your 'journey' (an overused word but can't think of a better one!), the day of your cycle, where you are when you hear the news -I think you can see what I'm getting at.

Many times I just don't know how to react and by the time I've regained some composure I have given myself away and it's all I can do not to burst into tears. Or the words of congratulations stick in my throat and my smile is so fake! It's a tough one because you don't want to take away from their joy and happiness but at the same time it's hard to even speak when inside you feel something has died.

Also what do you tell people when they ask the dreaded 'don't you want kids then?' or questions of that ilk? At the moment I just say 'it didn't happen for me' but that sounds so lame!

Sorry if this has already been dealt with on this forum but I had a read through previous threads and I couldn't see it.

Thanks ladies...

Ruth xxxx[/QUOTE]


----------



## Ruth2307

Hello Zowieboo

Welcome to the site. I've only been a member for literally a few days and have already found great support from likeminded women. A couple of posts have made me laugh out loud - just what the Dr ordered. I'm sure you will find this too.

I'm sorry you've not been able to have a baby yet and you know what? I'm not going to patronise you and say 'chin up' or any of those other things you usually hear which just don't cut it when you feel heartbroken and overwhelmed with sadness. It's okay to feel bad about it. 

I have no children (in fact there are no children in our family at all!) and have never even managed to get pregnant and at 37, that was not the plan. 

However (and this is a big however) you cannot give up hope. From what I hear IVF is hard work and you'll need every ounce of energy to get through it so hang on in there. :hugs:
xxxx


----------



## luvmydoggies

Hello Zowieboo!!!:hi: Welcome!

I am 37, and have never been pregnant either, just like what Ruth said. I joined this site a few weeks ago and and have found tremendous support!!! I feel like this is a place where you can be truly honest and not be judged.:flower:

Hi Ruth! How are you doing? Been thinking about you!!!:flower:

Hi Velo! How are you doing? Been thinking about you too!!!:flower:

My dh just left on a business trip. He will be gone until Friday. I have to say, that it will be nice to have a little break. Hope you all had a fabulous weekend!!:hugs::hugs:


----------



## LulaBug

Ruth2307 said:


> LulaBug said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> GraceFace said:
> 
> 
> Ruth, none of my friends are looking to ttc. They have all had their babies and are done. I have no one to share this with except OH and he is of the opinion that if it happens "GREAT!" and if it doesn't, well then we have years to enjoy each other. I have one friend who I shared this with and he told me he would beat me with a stick if I end up pregnant. How's that for support? Well, since it really isn't his decision I just let it roll off my back. Other than that, *when a pregnant woman walks by me I just pretend to spit at her! LOL! I know it isn't nice, but I have to do something to stay sane*!:hugs:
> 
> I'm sorry but....WTF???? :dohh:
> 
> What an incredibly offensive and disgusting thing to say! Even moreso because the pregnant woman who walks by you who you're imagining to spit on could have been in exactly the same situation as you and tried for months, even years to get the blessing of being pregnant.
> 
> I have so much sympathy and respect for people who are TTC because I was there once myself so know exactly how you're feeling because I have PCOS and didn't think I'd ever be able to have children, luckily for me I got there in the end, but it took a while. You can't complain about pregnant women saying things and being insensitive when you TTC ladies come out with atrocious things like that. It's just not nice at all.
> 
> :nope::nope:Click to expand...
> 
> I am sure that there was an element of 'tongue in cheek' about Gracefaces' comment. :winkwink:
> 
> As inappropriate as it may be I have to be honest and admit that there are times when I have seen a pregnant woman and felt such longing and envy that yes, it does tip over into directing my thoughts at her. :blush: Completely unfair and totally irrational even more so if I dont know this woman from Eve! Childlessness has taken my mind to places I never thought I'd go to. That's part of the reason I posted in the first place in order to get some advice on how to deal with this whirlwind of emotions.
> 
> However at lot of the time the disappointment is at its stongest when it's someone that I _know  who announces her pregnancy rather than just random women I may come into contact with.
> 
> Thank you very much for your comment, as you are right to remind of us the fact that billions of women have fertilility problems. We sometimes have no idea of their circumstances and how long they have been battling and this may well be a long awaited child. It's good to get some perspective again.
> 
> It's wonderfully comforting to know that you have not forgotten about the pain and emptiness you can feel during this time because sad to say some women I come into contact with have incredibly short memories and I have experienced an element of 'rubbing my nose in it' (both intentionally and unintentionally) when they have crossed over into pregnancy and motherhood. I am thankful for women like you who remain empathetic and also give us hope. _Click to expand...

_

Thank you very much for your lovely reply. 

I never ever will let myself forget the way I felt when I was desperate to become a mum. 
I remember making all these plans when I was younger, that I was going to get a good job, meet a nice man, get married and have 2 or 3 kids. 
My best friend on the other hand seemed so carefree and so uninterested in marriage and babies. Then out of nowhere, she meets a man, gets engaged and get's pregnant and all I could think at the time was "This isn't the way it's meant to go....it's meant to be me first." 
I remember feeling insanely jealous when she showed me her positive test and couldn't help but feel sad that she'd wanted marriage and babies for all of 5 minutes and was having both and I'd wanted both for as long as I could remember and had neither. 
I was constantly angry with my body because it wouldn't even let me have periods. I'd have like 2 a year sometimes so I felt like a failure there. I think I hated myself more than other people because of it. Maybe if there wasn't such a strong focus on my PCOS, then I'd have looked around.
Then of course, there was my cousin who had been a lesbian for years, got into a relationship with a man and suddenly found herself pregnant. Again, that was a total shock because she'd always been my lesbian cousin. 
So I really do know where you're coming from and I do know how frustrating and depressing it is, when EVERYONE around you is getting pregnant and you're not.

When I met my OH, we were friends first and we got together after a while but in that time I'd confided in him about how much I wanted children and how I may never be able to have them. He suggested having tests at the hospital to see if I was infertile. He wanted children also and we were together by this point and decided to start trying the fertility tests and if they came back fine, we'd try and conceive. So the doctor referred us and I started undergoing tests and everything seemed to be OK. I had a scan to check my ovaries, they had cysts on the, my womb looked fine. My blood work came back sort of OK, some hormones were higher than others. 
I was due to have the dye in my fallopian tubes to see if there were any blockages but couldn't have that done til OH had done his Sperm Analysis. Things had been getting difficult for a while, so the nurses said we could put the tests on hold for 6 months to give us a breather.

In the meantime, the doctor had put me on Metformin and my periods started to become more regular. I was becoming a POAS addict and each negative test I did, I just felt more and more deflated. 

So the day I did get my  I was absolutely shocked. I had no reason to believe I was pregnant, I did my test to use it up because I was due AF the following day and really thought it was going to come back negative. I did a digi test, so imagine my shock when out of the blue, the words "Pregnant 1-2" came up.

I'd wanted a child for many years, had taken almost a year of conceiving and I felt so blessed to have pregnancy finally happen for me and I vowed I would
never take it for granted. I feared everyday something bad would happen and that it would get snatched away from me as quick as it had come. It just felt too good to be true.

This is the reason why I felt so upset by the comment made by GraceFace, because although I understand that TTC can be and is such a stressful time, even more so, the longer it goes on, I can also see it from the pregnant woman/mother side of things. 

My baby was very much wanted, had been waited for for a long time...well...long time for me, I know some women have to suffer the pain of trying fruitlessly for a lot longer than me but you get my drift, so thats why it shocked me to read that.

I just thought I'd explain things from my part, so you know that you're most definitely not alone in how you feel and although it worked out well for me, I have my precious baby, I've never forgotten and never will forget how it felt before I conceived and how much emotional pain I was in for fear I'd never be able to have children. But I like to think my story will have given you a bit more hope in that you'll get your happy ending. I truly hope you do. 

xxxx_


----------



## Spoomie

An interesting development to this thread, oh dear.... Just wanted to say that, those of us with children already who have suffered m/c or are the wrong side of 35 (or 40!), OR BOTH (!!!) understand only too well the pain of loss and longing and having children already does not lessen that. It means we remind ourselves that we are incredibly blessed and we feel like we have less right to be so upset, but we are, because we've lost our baby and all the hopes and dreams we had for his or her future, or we long to complete our families. 

If Graceface will forgive me speaking on her behalf, I am certain she would only have meant it tongue in cheek. Of course we can't know what path pregnant women have taken to arrive at that point, but the upshot is, they have what we want and we would not be human if all we felt was an overwhelming sense of joy on their behalf, let's be honest!!! Graceface is funny, uplifting and incredibly supportive on this forum and I just wanted to sing her praises  x


----------



## LulaBug

I'm sure GraceFace is a lovely person, it's not the person I took offence with, it was just the comment. Although it may have been tongue in cheek, for me personally, it just seemed to go beyond that line of humour. Xxx :flower:


----------



## luvmydoggies

LulaBug said:


> I'm sure GraceFace is a lovely person, it's not the person I took offence with, it was just the comment. Although it may have been tongue in cheek, for me personally, it just seemed to go beyond that line of humour. Xxx :flower:

I think that you made your point, we all understand that you didn't like the comment but I didn't realize there was a thread police.


----------



## LulaBug

luvmydoggies said:


> LulaBug said:
> 
> 
> I'm sure GraceFace is a lovely person, it's not the person I took offence with, it was just the comment. Although it may have been tongue in cheek, for me personally, it just seemed to go beyond that line of humour. Xxx :flower:
> 
> I think that you made your point, we all understand that you didn't like the comment but I didn't realize there was a thread police.Click to expand...

OK..Wow!! Sorry if I came across as the "thread police" but am I not allowed to express my feelings about something someone has said that actually had a negative effect on me, even if it was meant as tongue in cheek, which at the time I didn't see? 
I wonder how you would feel if someone made a tongue in cheek joke about ladies TTC. It wouldn't be nice and you'd be well within your rights to say something about it. 
I'm really not trying to make this bigger than it has been made out. I made my point, I also explained my reason and also expressed no ill feelings towards the lady who wrote it. 
It was never about trying to be the thread police. It was just about acknowledging something that had been said that didn't sit right with me. :shrug:


----------



## Ruth2307

Blimey - I've only been a member for 5 days and I've started a 'controversial' post! Ha ha:haha: I'm not a troll honestly! Hey it's all good fun - no bad feelings from anyone I hope? 

Maybe this thread has run it's course however if there are any further contributions let's keep it on track and you can help me with any appropriate responses for when you hear the words 'I'm pregnant' or 'don't you want kids?'; you know, those one liners that you can come out with that say everything but don't give anything away if you don't want to. :winkwink:

Ruth xxxx


----------



## GraceFace

Oh my... 

Lulabug, your point is taken. I'm truly very sorry that you were offended. I sometimes have really low days, as I'm sure you do, and feel like being a total brat. I'm not really sure that I should be apologizing for being human or letting it be known on a public forum what my insecurites are and how I very privately deal with them. Alternatively, that's the beauty here. I can say I am very happy for the women on here and definitely mean it. I can see a pregnant woman when its a beautiful day, in a fabulous mood, and smile kindly to her. I can also be having a very horrid day, again I will smile, but feel as though I am dying inside. This is especially true at the end of the 2ww and I just knew it was my turn for a BFP after all the symptom spotting.

I'm sure your story is heartbreaking and wish you the best. Please accept a heart felt apology. With that said, I make a lot of tongue and cheek comments. That's just me and at some point I hope you can look beyond your first interpretation and see that what I was trying to do was give the original poster a quick snort to lighten her mood. That's the point of this board; to support and help each other in our deepest darkest moments. As for me, I know I've just about hit the rock bottom and am desperately climbing my way out...


----------



## velo

luvmydoggies said:


> Hi Velo! How are you doing? Been thinking about you too!!!:flower:
> 
> My dh just left on a business trip. He will be gone until Friday. I have to say, that it will be nice to have a little break. Hope you all had a fabulous weekend!!:hugs::hugs:

Hi luvmydoggies! Enjoy the break, sounds like he will be back just in time for the serious BD to begin!

I'm doing ok, I want to be doing something to move things forward but not much I can do right now. I called the lab about having the SA done for DH. Turns out we have to go further afield than I thought, as the lab the dr. said would do it does not, it shouldn't be a big deal though to try to work around dh's schedule. (I hope) Didn't book anything yet because he should check in with his doctor about antibiotics he is on and if this would not be a reflective time to have it done or not.

Wondering why my BBT yoyos but its hard to see a pattern this early in the month so I can't really read anything into it. 

Trying to do everything I can to make the best environment in my body, but I caved and had a coffee on the weekend. 

How are you?


----------



## Spoomie

GraceFace said:


> Oh my...
> 
> Lulabug, your point is taken. I'm truly very sorry that you were offended. I sometimes have really low days, as I'm sure you do, and feel like being a total brat. I'm not really sure that I should be apologizing for being human or letting it be known on a public forum what my insecurites are and how I very privately deal with them. Alternatively, that's the beauty here. I can say I am very happy for the women on here and definitely mean it. I can see a pregnant woman when its a beautiful day, in a fabulous mood, and smile kindly to her. I can also be having a very horrid day, again I will smile, but feel as though I am dying inside. This is especially true at the end of the 2ww and I just knew it was my turn for a BFP after all the symptom spotting.
> 
> I'm sure your story is heartbreaking and wish you the best. Please accept a heart felt apology. With that said, I make a lot of tongue and cheek comments. That's just me and at some point I hope you can look beyond your first interpretation and see that what I was trying to do was give the original poster a quick snort to lighten her mood. That's the point of this board; to support and help each other in our deepest darkest moments. As for me, I know I've just about hit the rock bottom and am desperately climbing my way out...

Hi Grace

So sorry to hear that you are feeling so low, some days the task seems insurmountable, doesn't it :-( I have a friend who suffered a stillbirth and who is helping me through my m/c and she told em that her counsellor described the 'journey' (that word again!) as being battered by the waves. It's an analogy that I really relate to and perhaps it can help you. The lows seem as though they will overwhelm and engulf you, they won't, they will pass. The highs (comparatively speaking!), which I have been feeling so guilty about, give you the strength to go forward and to face the next low, each time getting a bit stronger. 

Keep looking forward to your goal and try to see the disappointment at the end of the 2ww as getting you a step closer to that. When it comes, the reward will be sweeter for having laboured so long to achieve it. And if all else fails (ref: our previous conversation about weight/exercise) then award yourself a cake!!! Bless you x


----------



## GraceFace

That is exactly what I needed to hear. And, yes, today is a new beginning. Not a new cycle, but a new day with a much better attitude for the future. I definitely have put the last cycle behind me and I intend on going forward next cycle with my plans. I took a break during ovulation this time to rebuild my reserves. Definitely needed and I'm much stronger emotionally than a few days ago. Thank you for your words of wisdom! :hugs:



Spoomie said:


> GraceFace said:
> 
> 
> Oh my...
> 
> Lulabug, your point is taken. I'm truly very sorry that you were offended. I sometimes have really low days, as I'm sure you do, and feel like being a total brat. I'm not really sure that I should be apologizing for being human or letting it be known on a public forum what my insecurites are and how I very privately deal with them. Alternatively, that's the beauty here. I can say I am very happy for the women on here and definitely mean it. I can see a pregnant woman when its a beautiful day, in a fabulous mood, and smile kindly to her. I can also be having a very horrid day, again I will smile, but feel as though I am dying inside. This is especially true at the end of the 2ww and I just knew it was my turn for a BFP after all the symptom spotting.
> 
> I'm sure your story is heartbreaking and wish you the best. Please accept a heart felt apology. With that said, I make a lot of tongue and cheek comments. That's just me and at some point I hope you can look beyond your first interpretation and see that what I was trying to do was give the original poster a quick snort to lighten her mood. That's the point of this board; to support and help each other in our deepest darkest moments. As for me, I know I've just about hit the rock bottom and am desperately climbing my way out...
> 
> Hi Grace
> 
> So sorry to hear that you are feeling so low, some days the task seems insurmountable, doesn't it :-( I have a friend who suffered a stillbirth and who is helping me through my m/c and she told em that her counsellor described the 'journey' (that word again!) as being battered by the waves. It's an analogy that I really relate to and perhaps it can help you. The lows seem as though they will overwhelm and engulf you, they won't, they will pass. The highs (comparatively speaking!), which I have been feeling so guilty about, give you the strength to go forward and to face the next low, each time getting a bit stronger.
> 
> Keep looking forward to your goal and try to see the disappointment at the end of the 2ww as getting you a step closer to that. When it comes, the reward will be sweeter for having laboured so long to achieve it. And if all else fails (ref: our previous conversation about weight/exercise) then award yourself a cake!!! Bless you xClick to expand...


----------



## luvmydoggies

velo said:


> luvmydoggies said:
> 
> 
> Hi Velo! How are you doing? Been thinking about you too!!!:flower:
> 
> My dh just left on a business trip. He will be gone until Friday. I have to say, that it will be nice to have a little break. Hope you all had a fabulous weekend!!:hugs::hugs:
> 
> Hi luvmydoggies! Enjoy the break, sounds like he will be back just in time for the serious BD to begin!
> 
> I'm doing ok, I want to be doing something to move things forward but not much I can do right now. I called the lab about having the SA done for DH. Turns out we have to go further afield than I thought, as the lab the dr. said would do it does not, it shouldn't be a big deal though to try to work around dh's schedule. (I hope) Didn't book anything yet because he should check in with his doctor about antibiotics he is on and if this would not be a reflective time to have it done or not.
> 
> Wondering why my BBT yoyos but its hard to see a pattern this early in the month so I can't really read anything into it.
> 
> Trying to do everything I can to make the best environment in my body, but I caved and had a coffee on the weekend.
> 
> How are you?Click to expand...

I'm doing pretty good! I hope that you can get an appointment for your dh soon. I don't have a BBT but was considering getting one. I know when I was using one before, it confused me and I got frustrated. This is going to sound stupid but I don't get the temping. :dohh: I have tried to read on it, use fertility friend (i think that's what it is called):shrug: I'm trying to make the best environment for my body too! I started Yoga two weeks ago and I go every Monday. (a friend of my Moms is teaching it from her house) I have to say that it is a really tough workout but in a good way. We also do a lot of meditating and that puts me in a good place. I'm trying to eat better. I have to admit, I have one cup of coffee a day! It really is my only vice and I love my morning :coffee:. Yes my dh better rest on his trip, because when he gets back, it's go time! ha ha... Your dh too! 

:hugs::hugs:


----------



## velo

luvmydoggies said:


> I'm doing pretty good! I hope that you can get an appointment for your dh soon. I don't have a BBT but was considering getting one. I know when I was using one before, it confused me and I got frustrated. This is going to sound stupid but I don't get the temping. :dohh: I have tried to read on it, use fertility friend (i think that's what it is called):shrug: I'm trying to make the best environment for my body too! I started Yoga two weeks ago and I go every Monday. (a friend of my Moms is teaching it from her house) I have to say that it is a really tough workout but in a good way. We also do a lot of meditating and that puts me in a good place. I'm trying to eat better. I have to admit, I have one cup of coffee a day! It really is my only vice and I love my morning :coffee:. Yes my dh better rest on his trip, because when he gets back, it's go time! ha ha... Your dh too!
> 
> :hugs::hugs:

Temping is good for confirming ovulation. You'll notice two phases of temperatures, lower before ov and higher after, and if you don't, its a good signal you are not ovulating (you can still bleed without ov). You can also use temping as a pg test, 18 days of higher temps you are almost certainly pg, but I think most of us get too impatient before 18 dpo to POAS! If your temps are dropping below the coverline after ov it may indicate a luteal phase defect where your progesterone is too low.

DH is going to his GP tomorrow, and if he says OK for getting the SA done now hopefully it can be done next Friday. Want to make sure its not during prime ov time as it involves abstaining for 48 hours :)

The yoga and meditating sound awesome!! I am really going nuts without my morning coffee. Two things that's not so great about coffee - one, its very acidic, (decaf too) and its important to have an alkaline environment in the vagina for conception. Second, I read that even having 1 cup a day can reduce fertility 50%. That was just one study so it may be not that accurate but I didn't want to take my chances. But other sources I've read say caffeine in moderation is fine. I think there needs to be balance between trying things that might be helpful and making sure we are not miserable which is not a good environment for baby making. 

I went to see the TCM doctor yesterday and we did a consult but there wasn't time for acupuncture. But he said it was the perfect time in my cycle for acupuncture so I'm going back today. FX it helps. He also thought from looking at my tongue that I had blood stagnation. So hopefully getting things flowing smoothly will help. 

I notice that the EPO which I started this cycle is increasing my mucus in general (had a runny nose yesterday which I never get!) so hope it also translates to the EWCM kind!
:hug:


----------



## luvmydoggies

velo said:


> luvmydoggies said:
> 
> 
> I'm doing pretty good! I hope that you can get an appointment for your dh soon. I don't have a BBT but was considering getting one. I know when I was using one before, it confused me and I got frustrated. This is going to sound stupid but I don't get the temping. :dohh: I have tried to read on it, use fertility friend (i think that's what it is called):shrug: I'm trying to make the best environment for my body too! I started Yoga two weeks ago and I go every Monday. (a friend of my Moms is teaching it from her house) I have to say that it is a really tough workout but in a good way. We also do a lot of meditating and that puts me in a good place. I'm trying to eat better. I have to admit, I have one cup of coffee a day! It really is my only vice and I love my morning :coffee:. Yes my dh better rest on his trip, because when he gets back, it's go time! ha ha... Your dh too!
> 
> :hugs::hugs:
> 
> 
> 
> Temping is good for confirming ovulation. You'll notice two phases of temperatures, lower before ov and higher after, and if you don't, its a good signal you are not ovulating (you can still bleed without ov). You can also use temping as a pg test, 18 days of higher temps you are almost certainly pg, but I think most of us get too impatient before 18 dpo to POAS! If your temps are dropping below the coverline after ov it may indicate a luteal phase defect where your progesterone is too low.
> 
> DH is going to his GP tomorrow, and if he says OK for getting the SA done now hopefully it can be done next Friday. Want to make sure its not during prime ov time as it involves abstaining for 48 hours :)
> 
> The yoga and meditating sound awesome!! I am really going nuts without my morning coffee. Two things that's not so great about coffee - one, its very acidic, (decaf too) and its important to have an alkaline environment in the vagina for conception. Second, I read that even having 1 cup a day can reduce fertility 50%. That was just one study so it may be not that accurate but I didn't want to take my chances. But other sources I've read say caffeine in moderation is fine. I think there needs to be balance between trying things that might be helpful and making sure we are not miserable which is not a good environment for baby making.
> 
> I went to see the TCM doctor yesterday and we did a consult but there wasn't time for acupuncture. But he said it was the perfect time in my cycle for acupuncture so I'm going back today. FX it helps. He also thought from looking at my tongue that I had blood stagnation. So hopefully getting things flowing smoothly will help.
> 
> I notice that the EPO which I started this cycle is increasing my mucus in general (had a runny nose yesterday which I never get!) so hope it also translates to the EWCM kind!
> :hug:Click to expand...

I am so sorry that I have not written to you in a while! I ended up getting the flu. I have been so sick!:sick:
How did your dh's gp appointment go? I hope they don't have to do the s/a during your ov. Did he have an s/a done? Thanks for telling me about the coffee...omg I had no idea it could reduce fertility so much. I might have to re-think that morning cup:coffee:cry:). Maybe I could have green tea and have a cup of coffee on the weekends. Also thank you for explaining the temping. I will try again. At least I could ask you, if I have any questions.:flower: 
Acupuncture sounds great! Were you able to have it done? What was it like?
I have read a little about it, in a new book I bought, so I'm thinking of trying it. How are you doing otherwise? Been thinking about you.:hugs:


----------



## velo

luvmydoggies said:


> I am so sorry that I have not written to you in a while! I ended up getting the flu. I have been so sick!:sick:
> How did your dh's gp appointment go? I hope they don't have to do the s/a during your ov. Did he have an s/a done? Thanks for telling me about the coffee...omg I had no idea it could reduce fertility so much. I might have to re-think that morning cup:coffee:cry:). Maybe I could have green tea and have a cup of coffee on the weekends. Also thank you for explaining the temping. I will try again. At least I could ask you, if I have any questions.:flower:
> Acupuncture sounds great! Were you able to have it done? What was it like?
> I have read a little about it, in a new book I bought, so I'm thinking of trying it. How are you doing otherwise? Been thinking about you.:hugs:

Oh no, sorry to hear that you have been so sick! How are you feeling now? Hopefully 100% for prime time :sex:.

The GP thought he could have the SA done anytime, so the plan is to try to get an appt for this Friday. Otherwise it will be 2 more weeks before DH has a chance. I think I've ov'ed already (had a pos OPK two days ago) but haven't had the temp rise yet - hopefully tomorrow will confirm that. 

As I've tried green tea instead of coffee it is not the same at all! I think you have to balance your own sanity with its potential (but not necessarily) effect on fertility. But less is probably better.

The acupuncture was good! It felt relaxing. At first there was a pain in my lower right abdomen, and the TCM doctor said that was because of a blockage (that may have been preventing me from getting pg) He adjusted the needles to open up the blood flow to that area better. We'll see! He also suggested some Chinese herbs. But I found them quite hard to take (packets of 50-100 tiny little pills that had a very foul odor, so I had gag reflex). In addition the boxes said do not take during pg, so I called him to ask if they were safe to take after ov, and although he said yes I didn't feel very confident in his answer, so I decided to stop taking them. 

I've found another acupuncture TCM doctor who is further away but who specializes in fertility (and is more expensive too). My instinct is to go see her instead. But I think I will try to chillax first and see what happens this cycle, and with the s/a, and see about getting a gyno appt first for further diagnoses. 

What's the book you bought?

:hugs:


----------



## ciabatta

inkdchick said:


> im 44 and had my last daughter at age 27 so nearly 20 years ago and have been trying for another baby with new hubby now ofr 3 years, had 5 early m/c's and have now been having acupuncture and taking agnus cactus this cycle to see if it helps , so far i notice a difference in myself and the acupuncturist says its looking promising so she will continue to get my progesterone levels ups as this was my problem. My progesterone kept dropping after i got pregnant and then couldnt sustain it so shed the pregnancy, so hopefully with her help it will work for us.
> The success rate of acupuncture is around 85% for all unexplained infertility , i would recommend it as so many others have.
> Good luck xx

We were TTC for 3 yrs, hubby had slow swimmers so did vitamins, plus i had huge ovarian cycsts so had them removed, then had acupunture and BFP 2 mnths later, she also supported the pregnancy with continued acupunture for 4 mnths which was great for the support through the 12 weeks especially as had high risk of miscarriage. Would highly recommend acupuncture - sending huge baby dust to all I vividly remember those monthly bouts of grief which is why I still sometimes feel more at home on TTC pages than the usual preg forums where everyone moans about every little thing to do with pregnancy !! PS this pregnancy hasnt been plain sailing either am on my 6th week of bedrest with 4 more to go and have had majot issues all the way through, but I am so grateful and wanna yell at some people I know doing nothing but moan how they DON´T KNOW HOW LUCKY they sodding well are!!! Try 36 mnthly disappointments after days of day counting and praying and weeing on sticks and legs in the air and endless pills and hospital appointments and waiting lists and operations and blah blah blah and you would grin and bear all this the ungrateful cows - serioudly the endless whining on the other forums defies belief at times!!. 

Ok anyway, sorry to jump in but wanted to spread baby dust and well wishes, also especially if the pregnant woman is older, you don´t know her story so why not just think she struggled to conceive and this is her miracle baby and imagine thats you a year down the line! Maybe that way you could turn it into a bit more positive as honestly not everyone baby danced once and wham!! Especially older ladies thats what i tried to do to make it a bit more bearable (honestly not sure how much it helped some months but am a total trying to find a silver lining person or I know i sink into a pit of despair, there´s little inbetween with my emotions and the despair just ain´t pretty so that was how I tried to cope a little). Hope I haven´t stepped on any toes, I still feel more comfortable onTTC @35+ than anywhere else! hugs and baby dust xx


----------



## Ruth2307

ciabatta said:


> inkdchick said:
> 
> 
> im 44 and had my last daughter at age 27 so nearly 20 years ago and have been trying for another baby with new hubby now ofr 3 years, had 5 early m/c's and have now been having acupuncture and taking agnus cactus this cycle to see if it helps , so far i notice a difference in myself and the acupuncturist says its looking promising so she will continue to get my progesterone levels ups as this was my problem. My progesterone kept dropping after i got pregnant and then couldnt sustain it so shed the pregnancy, so hopefully with her help it will work for us.
> The success rate of acupuncture is around 85% for all unexplained infertility , i would recommend it as so many others have.
> Good luck xx
> 
> We were TTC for 3 yrs, hubby had slow swimmers so did vitamins, plus i had huge ovarian cycsts so had them removed, then had acupunture and BFP 2 mnths later, she also supported the pregnancy with continued acupunture for 4 mnths which was great for the support through the 12 weeks especially as had high risk of miscarriage. Would highly recommend acupuncture - sending huge baby dust to all I vividly remember those monthly bouts of grief which is why I still sometimes feel more at home on TTC pages than the usual preg forums where everyone moans about every little thing to do with pregnancy !! PS this pregnancy hasnt been plain sailing either am on my 6th week of bedrest with 4 more to go and have had majot issues all the way through, but I am so grateful and wanna yell at some people I know doing nothing but moan how they DON´T KNOW HOW LUCKY they sodding well are!!! Try 36 mnthly disappointments after days of day counting and praying and weeing on sticks and legs in the air and endless pills and hospital appointments and waiting lists and operations and blah blah blah and you would grin and bear all this the ungrateful cows - serioudly the endless whining on the other forums defies belief at times!!.
> 
> Ok anyway, sorry to jump in but wanted to spread baby dust and well wishes, also especially if the pregnant woman is older, you don´t know her story so why not just think she struggled to conceive and this is her miracle baby and imagine thats you a year down the line! Maybe that way you could turn it into a bit more positive as honestly not everyone baby danced once and wham!! Especially older ladies thats what i tried to do to make it a bit more bearable (honestly not sure how much it helped some months but am a total trying to find a silver lining person or I know i sink into a pit of despair, there´s little inbetween with my emotions and the despair just ain´t pretty so that was how I tried to cope a little). Hope I haven´t stepped on any toes, I still feel more comfortable onTTC @35+ than anywhere else! hugs and baby dust xxClick to expand...

Hola Ciabatta (Slipped back into Spanish -I lived in Valencia in another life!)

Thanks for your post. What you said makes sense although it is very,very difficult sometimes. 

In other news, today I was selected by the company that makes ClearBlue Fertility Monitor to partipate in some trials. It's a bit of a result because I was about to purchase a monitor and I've been given one for free along with all the other accessories.:thumbup: Hopefully I won't need it because this may well be my month but if not then at least it will help to pinpoint the right time to BD. 

The office where I was shown how to use the monitor was covered in baby pictures from women who have been used in previous studies and strangely today I was fine; usually it's enough to set me blubbing. Guess it's the hopeful part of my cycle so it didn't upset me.

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!
xxxx


----------



## ciabatta

Ruth, thank you, the trial sounds awesome and very supportive which is such a big help! Hoping this is your year and you will be BFP before you know it! Its a rollercoaster, but just hang on in there eh! Also I used to read the LTTTC success threads occassionally in my hopeful parts of the cycle just to remind me it does happen eventually and to relax and breathe and keep going!  Good luck!!! Really hoping you have good news soon! xx


----------



## luvmydoggies

velo said:


> luvmydoggies said:
> 
> 
> I am so sorry that I have not written to you in a while! I ended up getting the flu. I have been so sick!:sick:
> How did your dh's gp appointment go? I hope they don't have to do the s/a during your ov. Did he have an s/a done? Thanks for telling me about the coffee...omg I had no idea it could reduce fertility so much. I might have to re-think that morning cup:coffee:cry:). Maybe I could have green tea and have a cup of coffee on the weekends. Also thank you for explaining the temping. I will try again. At least I could ask you, if I have any questions.:flower:
> Acupuncture sounds great! Were you able to have it done? What was it like?
> I have read a little about it, in a new book I bought, so I'm thinking of trying it. How are you doing otherwise? Been thinking about you.:hugs:
> 
> Oh no, sorry to hear that you have been so sick! How are you feeling now? Hopefully 100% for prime time :sex:.
> 
> The GP thought he could have the SA done anytime, so the plan is to try to get an appt for this Friday. Otherwise it will be 2 more weeks before DH has a chance. I think I've ov'ed already (had a pos OPK two days ago) but haven't had the temp rise yet - hopefully tomorrow will confirm that.
> 
> As I've tried green tea instead of coffee it is not the same at all! I think you have to balance your own sanity with its potential (but not necessarily) effect on fertility. But less is probably better.
> 
> The acupuncture was good! It felt relaxing. At first there was a pain in my lower right abdomen, and the TCM doctor said that was because of a blockage (that may have been preventing me from getting pg) He adjusted the needles to open up the blood flow to that area better. We'll see! He also suggested some Chinese herbs. But I found them quite hard to take (packets of 50-100 tiny little pills that had a very foul odor, so I had gag reflex). In addition the boxes said do not take during pg, so I called him to ask if they were safe to take after ov, and although he said yes I didn't feel very confident in his answer, so I decided to stop taking them.
> 
> I've found another acupuncture TCM doctor who is further away but who specializes in fertility (and is more expensive too). My instinct is to go see her instead. But I think I will try to chillax first and see what happens this cycle, and with the s/a, and see about getting a gyno appt first for further diagnoses.
> 
> What's the book you bought?
> 
> :hugs:Click to expand...

Hi Velo-

I'm finally feeling better! I have noticed a lot of ewcm this month, which makes me really happy. Dh and I have been :sex: so hopefully 1 good, healthy :spermy: can find my eggie. This morning I got a "high fertility" reading on my CBFM, so we will see.

Were you able to get an appointment for your dh for Friday? Did you get your temp rise yet? My fingers are crossed for you!!! Looks like we will be in the two week wait together pretty soon.

Yes, I agree with you about the coffee. Less is better for now, just in case.

I'm so happy to hear that your accu. was good and relaxing! It sounds wonderful. I completely agree with you on the herbs..if he didn't give you a solid reassuring answer.

I bought more than 1 book:blush:...I was going crazy, so I figured I would start doing a lot of reading. The books I bought are:

*What to do when you can't get pregnant- by Daniel Potter/Jennifer Hanin*
(still reading this one) I'm finding it a good read even though in almost every chapter, they mention age:growlmad: (this is the book that discussed acu)

*The Infertility Survival Handbook- by Elizabeth Swire Falker*
This book is about a personal struggle with infertility and what this women went through. Still reading it.

*Budgeting for Infertility by- Evelina Weidman Sterling/Angie Best-Boss
*
Reading this one in case we have to do IVF, as our insurance as it stands does not cover it at all.:nope:


----------



## luvmydoggies

Ruth2307 said:


> ciabatta said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> inkdchick said:
> 
> 
> im 44 and had my last daughter at age 27 so nearly 20 years ago and have been trying for another baby with new hubby now ofr 3 years, had 5 early m/c's and have now been having acupuncture and taking agnus cactus this cycle to see if it helps , so far i notice a difference in myself and the acupuncturist says its looking promising so she will continue to get my progesterone levels ups as this was my problem. My progesterone kept dropping after i got pregnant and then couldnt sustain it so shed the pregnancy, so hopefully with her help it will work for us.
> The success rate of acupuncture is around 85% for all unexplained infertility , i would recommend it as so many others have.
> Good luck xx
> 
> We were TTC for 3 yrs, hubby had slow swimmers so did vitamins, plus i had huge ovarian cycsts so had them removed, then had acupunture and BFP 2 mnths later, she also supported the pregnancy with continued acupunture for 4 mnths which was great for the support through the 12 weeks especially as had high risk of miscarriage. Would highly recommend acupuncture - sending huge baby dust to all I vividly remember those monthly bouts of grief which is why I still sometimes feel more at home on TTC pages than the usual preg forums where everyone moans about every little thing to do with pregnancy !! PS this pregnancy hasnt been plain sailing either am on my 6th week of bedrest with 4 more to go and have had majot issues all the way through, but I am so grateful and wanna yell at some people I know doing nothing but moan how they DON´T KNOW HOW LUCKY they sodding well are!!! Try 36 mnthly disappointments after days of day counting and praying and weeing on sticks and legs in the air and endless pills and hospital appointments and waiting lists and operations and blah blah blah and you would grin and bear all this the ungrateful cows - serioudly the endless whining on the other forums defies belief at times!!.
> 
> Ok anyway, sorry to jump in but wanted to spread baby dust and well wishes, also especially if the pregnant woman is older, you don´t know her story so why not just think she struggled to conceive and this is her miracle baby and imagine thats you a year down the line! Maybe that way you could turn it into a bit more positive as honestly not everyone baby danced once and wham!! Especially older ladies thats what i tried to do to make it a bit more bearable (honestly not sure how much it helped some months but am a total trying to find a silver lining person or I know i sink into a pit of despair, there´s little inbetween with my emotions and the despair just ain´t pretty so that was how I tried to cope a little). Hope I haven´t stepped on any toes, I still feel more comfortable onTTC @35+ than anywhere else! hugs and baby dust xxClick to expand...
> 
> Hola Ciabatta (Slipped back into Spanish -I lived in Valencia in another life!)
> 
> Thanks for your post. What you said makes sense although it is very,very difficult sometimes.
> 
> In other news, today I was selected by the company that makes ClearBlue Fertility Monitor to partipate in some trials. It's a bit of a result because I was about to purchase a monitor and I've been given one for free along with all the other accessories.:thumbup: Hopefully I won't need it because this may well be my month but if not then at least it will help to pinpoint the right time to BD.
> 
> The office where I was shown how to use the monitor was covered in baby pictures from women who have been used in previous studies and strangely today I was fine; usually it's enough to set me blubbing. Guess it's the hopeful part of my cycle so it didn't upset me.
> 
> Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!
> xxxxClick to expand...

Hi Ruth! How are you doing? Where are you at in your cycle? That's awesome news about being selected to participate in some trials!:flower:
My fingers are crossed that this is your month!:hugs:


----------



## Ruth2307

Hi Ruth! How are you doing? Where are you at in your cycle? That's awesome news about being selected to participate in some trials!:flower:
My fingers are crossed that this is your month!:hugs:[/QUOTE]

Hi LoveMyDoggies
I'm on CD14. I cannot use the monitor until CD1 or if I am pregnant there are some instructions on what to do up until my first scan. 

Not sure what's going on today but I''m feeling quite down. Yesterday I was full of energy and hope but today I feel as if a black cloud is enveloping me andIam overwhelmed with sadness. It's so weird how my mood can change so drastically and so suddenly! I try so hard not to be this way because I really don't like it but I feel so out of control. I hope it passes soon.


----------



## luvmydoggies

Hi Ruth,
I'm so sorry that you are feeling that way. I get that way too. One minute I am full of hope and then suddenly, I think I will never be a mommy and I'm being punished in some way. I'm thinking positive thoughts for you and hope that your feeling of sadness will pass very soon.:hugs::hugs:


----------



## velo

luvmydoggies said:


> Hi Velo-
> 
> I'm finally feeling better! I have noticed a lot of ewcm this month, which makes me really happy. Dh and I have been :sex: so hopefully 1 good, healthy :spermy: can find my eggie. This morning I got a "high fertility" reading on my CBFM, so we will see.
> 
> Were you able to get an appointment for your dh for Friday? Did you get your temp rise yet? My fingers are crossed for you!!! Looks like we will be in the two week wait together pretty soon.
> 
> Yes, I agree with you about the coffee. Less is better for now, just in case.
> 
> I'm so happy to hear that your accu. was good and relaxing! It sounds wonderful.  I completely agree with you on the herbs..if he didn't give you a solid reassuring answer.
> 
> I bought more than 1 book:blush:...I was going crazy, so I figured I would start doing a lot of reading. The books I bought are:
> 
> *What to do when you can't get pregnant- by Daniel Potter/Jennifer Hanin*
> (still reading this one) I'm finding it a good read even though in almost every chapter, they mention age:growlmad: (this is the book that discussed acu)
> 
> *The Infertility Survival Handbook- by Elizabeth Swire Falker*
> This book is about a personal struggle with infertility and what this women went through. Still reading it.
> 
> *Budgeting for Infertility by- Evelina Weidman Sterling/Angie Best-Boss
> *
> Reading this one in case we have to do IVF, as our insurance as it stands does not cover it at all.:nope:

Ooh the EWCM sounds awesome! Have you been doing anything specifically to increase it, or just good luck? 

My temperature has risen, but only slightly. But then again the last few times I have woken up early so the readings have been on the early side. FF has still marked crosshairs on my chart, when I thought I ov'ed, which makes me feel better, but it certainly does not look clean and pretty!

Still navigating the bureaucracy to book something. Found out the local hospital actually does it, so that would be much more convenient. I finally got hold of them but they only do Tuesdays, when DH is in school. I decided to wait and ask him if he wants to miss school or have a stressful long day driving afar to masturbate :) 

I caved and had a coffee yesterday. But I really felt jittery with it after having mostly gone without for so long so it will remind me not to do that again. 

Reading is good! I am ordering lots of related books from the library. They even come to my mailbox (since I am considered to live in a "remote" area, they offer this service) for free - how awesome is that? Here's what I've read so far:

*The Fertility Diet* - Groundbreaking Research Reveals Natural Ways to Boost Ovulation and Improve Your Chances of Getting Pregnant. (Jorge E. Chavarro, Walter C. Willett)

This book is based on a nurses study of 20,000+ women. A lot of it is stuff I already know / the way I already eat. But things I found particularly interesting:
- the book suggests soda is worse for fertility than either caffeine or alcohol (which it thinks are okay in moderation)
- full fat dairy is better for fertility than low-fat dairy. The reason I guess is that certain hormones are concentrated in the fat and when you only have the low fat you are getting an imbalance. I don't drink milk to begin with, but I have bought some full fat unsugared yogurt which I mix with fruit.

*Making Babies - a 3 month program for maximum fertility* - Sami S. David and Jill Blakeway

This one is my favorite by far. It combines western medicine approach (David is a reproductive endocrinologist) with acupuncture/Chinese medicine (Blakeway's specialty). It also comes up with five different fertility types and has personalized recommendations for each.

He also specializes in fertility for women over 39 and takes as natural an approach as possible (Clomid and IVF being last resort). Pretty much it is if you are still ovulating and menstruating the odds are still good!

*Taking Charge of Your Fertility -The Definitive guide to natural birth control, pregnancy achievement and reproductive health - Toni Weschler*

This one explains charting and checking your mucus etc. really well. 

I'm waiting for:

*The infertility cure : the ancient Chinese wellness program for getting pregnant and having healthy babies* - Randine Lewis

Her website The Fertile Soul even mentions helping women in their late 40s have natural healthy pregnancies so I figure in our late 30s we can't be too old yet! I also hope this one will help me be better informed if I am interested in seeking out more TCM treatments.

Hopefully you will not need IVF and therefore if you've budgeted for it get to use that money for your new child's education fund or anything else!

:hugs:
:dust: I think its going to be "our" month for both of us pretty soon, maybe even this one!


----------



## kosh

going back to the original question, i feel i *have* to post this to get it out of my chest....
i've just found out that my colleague at work who is pregnant is planning to have her mother over to help her (she is not from the uk) when the baby is born and then, after a few months her mother is going to take the baby away!!!!! i literally wanted to cry when i heard about it. 
why is life so unfair? ](*,)


----------



## Indigo77

kosh said:


> going back to the original question, i feel i *have* to post this to get it out of my chest....
> i've just found out that my colleague at work who is pregnant is planning to have her mother over to help her (she is not from the uk) when the baby is born and then, after a few months her mother is going to take the baby away!!!!! i literally wanted to cry when i heard about it.
> why is life so unfair? ](*,)

What do you mean by 'take the baby away'?


----------



## kosh

Indigo77 said:


> What do you mean by 'take the baby away'?


(sorry english is not my first language)

basically, my colleague will not keep the baby. her mother (ie the baby's grandmother) will take the baby to their home country for a few years!!


----------



## Ruth2307

kosh said:


> Indigo77 said:
> 
> 
> What do you mean by 'take the baby away'?
> 
> 
> (sorry english is not my first language)
> 
> basically, my colleague will not keep the baby. her mother (ie the baby's grandmother) will take the baby to their home country for a few years!!Click to expand...

I know that you perhaps find this difficult to understand but this is quite usual in certain cultures for grandparents to take the lead in bringing up children. Besides, we don't always know the circumstances surrounding why this woman would make this decision.


----------



## kosh

Ruth2307 said:


> I know that you perhaps find this difficult to understand but this is quite usual in certain cultures for grandparents to take the lead in bringing up children. Besides, we don't always know the circumstances surrounding why this woman would make this decision.

yes, you're right, i know that is usual for certain cultures, but still find it difficult to understand in this particular case. she's married, both with good jobs, own house, have a 7 year old who's been 'asking' for a sibling for a long time...of course i do not know the details, but it seems to me that she is not forced into it, she just thinks that this way it'll be easier for her. i'm not judging her (well, maybe i was) but i find it difficult to understand how anyone would like to miss those important years of your baby.


----------



## missyt

Hello everyone, Luvmydoggies, I know you from the other thread and hope you are doing well. I have a hard time coping with seeing other women pregnant that I see on a daily basis, like my neighbors. I'm 37 and have been TTC for over a year. We were initially diagnosed as unexplained but on our last IUI DH's count was only 8 million with 3 million postwash so we're thinking the issue might be there. I also hate when people say, "if its meant to be, it'll happen". Really? So it was mean to be for some irresponsible mess of a person who can't even take care of themself to be a mother but not me? The way I deal with it is to brush it off and act like it doesn't bother me. But I really hurt inside and usually go home and cry. One coworker asked if I had kids and I said no. He asked if I wanted them and I said yes. Well he asked how old I was and he said I better hurry up. I wanted to slap him. I'm just putting my two cents in. Spreading baby dust to everyone.


----------



## Ruth2307

I worry for the next person that( jokingly or otherwise) tells me to 'get a move on':growlmad: 

I am very glad that I started this thread because it has helped me a great deal. :thumbup:

Kosh - I know exactly where you're coming from with your work colleague who appears to be 'packing off her child' and here we are aching to be knee deep in nappies - okay not quite - but I think you get the picture. :winkwink:

I think we're going to have to do what Missyt says and learn to brush off certain comments but obviously this takes real skill. I daresay there will be things that we'll do when we get to be mums that others will find difficult to understand.


----------



## luvmydoggies

missyt said:


> Hello everyone, Luvmydoggies, I know you from the other thread and hope you are doing well. I have a hard time coping with seeing other women pregnant that I see on a daily basis, like my neighbors. I'm 37 and have been TTC for over a year. We were initially diagnosed as unexplained but on our last IUI DH's count was only 8 million with 3 million postwash so we're thinking the issue might be there. I also hate when people say, "if its meant to be, it'll happen". Really? So it was mean to be for some irresponsible mess of a person who can't even take care of themself to be a mother but not me? The way I deal with it is to brush it off and act like it doesn't bother me. But I really hurt inside and usually go home and cry. One coworker asked if I had kids and I said no. He asked if I wanted them and I said yes. Well he asked how old I was and he said I better hurry up. I wanted to slap him. I'm just putting my two cents in. Spreading baby dust to everyone.

Hi MissyT and the other Ladies!!!
I have to agree, people say the most hurtful and insensitive things.
My mother-in-law called the other day and I was in tears :cry: after the phone call.(think of the worst mohter-in-law possible, thats mine) Since she has found out that it is her son w/ the issues and not me she says the most hurtful things. First, she has to ask me if I am going to my dh's cousins baby shower(My dh and I are not close with any of his cousins) and I froze, I didn't know what to say. Then she says "well, if you don't end up having kids, at least you and my son will have each other." what? Then she continued on and told me about her friend who "waited too long" and had "old eggs" couldn't have kids.. this is supposed to help me how? Lastly, I told her I would consider IVF because I really want kids, and she says..."Isn't that going to cost you like $10,000"? I say "yes" she says" Omg..thats a lot of money to pay to have a baby". Back to the baby shower, I can't bring myself to go. This is his 4th cousin (there all in their 20's) who is going to have a baby(she is 24 and just decided she wanted to have a baby) His other 3 cousins will be there with their babies. Is that horrible? I have congratulated her and I'm sending her a gift from her registry.


----------



## luvmydoggies

velo said:


> luvmydoggies said:
> 
> 
> Hi Velo-
> 
> I'm finally feeling better! I have noticed a lot of ewcm this month, which makes me really happy. Dh and I have been :sex: so hopefully 1 good, healthy :spermy: can find my eggie. This morning I got a "high fertility" reading on my CBFM, so we will see.
> 
> Were you able to get an appointment for your dh for Friday? Did you get your temp rise yet? My fingers are crossed for you!!! Looks like we will be in the two week wait together pretty soon.
> 
> Yes, I agree with you about the coffee. Less is better for now, just in case.
> 
> I'm so happy to hear that your accu. was good and relaxing! It sounds wonderful. I completely agree with you on the herbs..if he didn't give you a solid reassuring answer.
> 
> I bought more than 1 book:blush:...I was going crazy, so I figured I would start doing a lot of reading. The books I bought are:
> 
> *What to do when you can't get pregnant- by Daniel Potter/Jennifer Hanin*
> (still reading this one) I'm finding it a good read even though in almost every chapter, they mention age:growlmad: (this is the book that discussed acu)
> 
> *The Infertility Survival Handbook- by Elizabeth Swire Falker*
> This book is about a personal struggle with infertility and what this women went through. Still reading it.
> 
> *Budgeting for Infertility by- Evelina Weidman Sterling/Angie Best-Boss
> *
> Reading this one in case we have to do IVF, as our insurance as it stands does not cover it at all.:nope:
> 
> Ooh the EWCM sounds awesome! Have you been doing anything specifically to increase it, or just good luck?
> 
> My temperature has risen, but only slightly. But then again the last few times I have woken up early so the readings have been on the early side. FF has still marked crosshairs on my chart, when I thought I ov'ed, which makes me feel better, but it certainly does not look clean and pretty!
> 
> Still navigating the bureaucracy to book something. Found out the local hospital actually does it, so that would be much more convenient. I finally got hold of them but they only do Tuesdays, when DH is in school. I decided to wait and ask him if he wants to miss school or have a stressful long day driving afar to masturbate :)
> 
> I caved and had a coffee yesterday. But I really felt jittery with it after having mostly gone without for so long so it will remind me not to do that again.
> 
> Reading is good! I am ordering lots of related books from the library. They even come to my mailbox (since I am considered to live in a "remote" area, they offer this service) for free - how awesome is that? Here's what I've read so far:
> 
> *The Fertility Diet* - Groundbreaking Research Reveals Natural Ways to Boost Ovulation and Improve Your Chances of Getting Pregnant. (Jorge E. Chavarro, Walter C. Willett)
> 
> This book is based on a nurses study of 20,000+ women. A lot of it is stuff I already know / the way I already eat. But things I found particularly interesting:
> - the book suggests soda is worse for fertility than either caffeine or alcohol (which it thinks are okay in moderation)
> - full fat dairy is better for fertility than low-fat dairy. The reason I guess is that certain hormones are concentrated in the fat and when you only have the low fat you are getting an imbalance. I don't drink milk to begin with, but I have bought some full fat unsugared yogurt which I mix with fruit.
> 
> *Making Babies - a 3 month program for maximum fertility* - Sami S. David and Jill Blakeway
> 
> This one is my favorite by far. It combines western medicine approach (David is a reproductive endocrinologist) with acupuncture/Chinese medicine (Blakeway's specialty). It also comes up with five different fertility types and has personalized recommendations for each.
> 
> He also specializes in fertility for women over 39 and takes as natural an approach as possible (Clomid and IVF being last resort). Pretty much it is if you are still ovulating and menstruating the odds are still good!
> 
> *Taking Charge of Your Fertility -The Definitive guide to natural birth control, pregnancy achievement and reproductive health - Toni Weschler*
> 
> This one explains charting and checking your mucus etc. really well.
> 
> I'm waiting for:
> 
> *The infertility cure : the ancient Chinese wellness program for getting pregnant and having healthy babies* - Randine Lewis
> 
> Her website The Fertile Soul even mentions helping women in their late 40s have natural healthy pregnancies so I figure in our late 30s we can't be too old yet! I also hope this one will help me be better informed if I am interested in seeking out more TCM treatments.
> 
> Hopefully you will not need IVF and therefore if you've budgeted for it get to use that money for your new child's education fund or anything else!
> 
> :hugs:
> :dust: I think its going to be "our" month for both of us pretty soon, maybe even this one!Click to expand...

Hi Velo,
I don't think I have done anything different for the ewcm, just luck, I think.
I'm also trying to make sure I pay attention when I wipe :blush: (sorry tmi)

I'm so glad that FF marked the same days that you thought you ov'd, that's great news! :thumbup: I will be starting with the bbt, next month.

I had a cup of coffee this morning. Should not have, couldn't keep it down. Since, I was sick I was only drinking tea.

I'm so happy to hear that you found a hospital for your dh to do the s/a. Did you talk to him yet? What did he decide? School or the long drive?

That is so awesome that your library delivers books to your door! I really wish they did that here. I would be in heaven. The books that I got, I bought through amazon. Thanks for the selections and the link.

This really could be our month! I would be over joyed! We would have Jan.2010 babies!!! Woo hoo! :baby::baby::baby::baby:

On the last note, sadly we don't have any money saved, if we had to do IVF, so I'm still praying it can happen naturally. If nothing happens by June, will have to go back to the doc to see what to do next.
Sending you lot's of hugs:hugs: and tons of baby dust.:dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust:


----------



## missyt

Hi MissyT and the other Ladies!!!
I have to agree said:


> Luvmydoggies, hopefully I am doing this quote thing right. I TOTALLY know how you feel. My SIL (one of DH's sisters) said to me when she found out we were TTC, "well we know he isn't the problem", just because DH has an 11 year old from a previous marriage. I think that was one of the most hurtful comments ever said to me. To make it even worse, my MIL is FB friends with DH's ex. They still keep in touch. It makes me feel like I don't rate because I haven't bore her a grandchild. Whenever I go to DH's family gatherings I feel so left out because he has a kid, one of his sisters has 4 kids (she actually had fertility issues) and another sister (the one that made the stupid comment) has 2 kids. DH understands how I feel, which is good. The only one I confide in is his sister that had the fertility issues. At least she gets it. Actually both sisters were on clomid. Not to mention, MIL has 5 kids! I was married before but didn't have children with my ex because he turned out to be abusive. Unfortunately, I didn't meet the love of my life when I was 20. I don't think anyone truly understands our situation unless they have been in it. Oh, and since you are a dog lover, the unthoughtful SIL had the nerve to say to me, "I'm curious to see how your relationship with your dogs changes when you have children". So sue me for being a good and caring dog mom. As far as I'm concerned, they are my children and that won't change if and when I have a baby. Sorry to go on and rant. I totally don't blame you for not wanting to go the cousin's baby showers. I would feel the same way. Why put yourself through that torture because you know it'll upset you. And your MIL's comment about how expensive IVF is. Has she never over the course of her lifetime spent $10K on her kids? Seriously, I keep mentally preparing myself for IVF and comparing the cost to a car or 2 really nice vacations. So we sacrifice some things because we want a child at no cost. Maybe I'll just drive my car around until it dies. Its worth it to have a baby. Some people just don't get it. I'm sorry I'm all fired up. I'm just fed up with people who don't think before they speak.


----------



## velo

luvmydoggies said:


> Hi Velo,
> I don't think I have done anything different for the ewcm, just luck, I think.
> I'm also trying to make sure I pay attention when I wipe :blush: (sorry tmi)
> 
> I'm so glad that FF marked the same days that you thought you ov'd, that's great news! :thumbup: I will be starting with the bbt, next month.
> 
> I had a cup of coffee this morning. Should not have, couldn't keep it down. Since, I was sick I was only drinking tea.
> 
> I'm so happy to hear that you found a hospital for your dh to do the s/a. Did you talk to him yet? What did he decide? School or the long drive?
> 
> That is so awesome that your library delivers books to your door! I really wish they did that here. I would be in heaven. The books that I got, I bought through amazon. Thanks for the selections and the link.
> 
> This really could be our month! I would be over joyed! We would have Jan.2010 babies!!! Woo hoo! :baby::baby::baby::baby:
> 
> On the last note, sadly we don't have any money saved, if we had to do IVF, so I'm still praying it can happen naturally. If nothing happens by June, will have to go back to the doc to see what to do next.
> Sending you lot's of hugs:hugs: and tons of baby dust.:dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust:

Hi luvmydoggies,
Well dh decided not this week, and no missing any school. So I have an appointment for him for 2 weeks from this Friday at a medium-drive location. However this location apparently is drop-off only and has no facilities for collection, and it is too far away from us to do at home (must be dropped off within 30 minutes). So I was scouting out locations for masturbation using google street view! Too funny. I wanted to see if the nearest gas station had a private bathroom I could see from the outside (it did). 

Has your dh seen a urologist to see if there are any correctable problems causing the soldier issues (varioceles or some blockages etc.)? Do you know if IUI would be an option? I know that can often help with male factor infertility since they wash the sperm first, thereby weeding out the good :sperm: from the bad :sperm:. Here's a site (possibly near you?) that describes how they wash:
https://www.spermbankcalifornia.com/male-sperm-washing.html
Certainly cheaper than IVF :) 

From what I've read (and I'm sure you've already researched this all thoroughly) other things that can affect :sperm: quality include alcohol, smoking, smoking weed, and heating up the testicles. But sometimes the source of the heat is not obvious and can include wearing briefs, having baths instead of showers (if the temp is too warm), excessive exercise esp bicycle riding. Acupuncture can also help men with sperm quality. 

A friend mentioned her husband was told they would need to use IVF with ICSI because of his :sperm: issues, and after 3 months of high dose zinc and vitamin C? E? they conceived naturally. So be encouraged about the vitamins.

I believe FF told me my due date would be Dec 31, what a way to ring in the new year! Hope we both can get a new years present! 

:dust: :dust:


----------



## Ruth2307

missyt said:


> Hi MissyT and the other Ladies!!!
> I have to agree said:
> 
> 
> Luvmydoggies, hopefully I am doing this quote thing right. I TOTALLY know how you feel. My SIL (one of DH's sisters) said to me when she found out we were TTC, "well we know he isn't the problem", just because DH has an 11 year old from a previous marriage. I think that was one of the most hurtful comments ever said to me. To make it even worse, my MIL is FB friends with DH's ex. They still keep in touch. It makes me feel like I don't rate because I haven't bore her a grandchild. Whenever I go to DH's family gatherings I feel so left out because he has a kid, one of his sisters has 4 kids (she actually had fertility issues) and another sister (the one that made the stupid comment) has 2 kids. DH understands how I feel, which is good. The only one I confide in is his sister that had the fertility issues. At least she gets it. Actually both sisters were on clomid. Not to mention, MIL has 5 kids! I was married before but didn't have children with my ex because he turned out to be abusive. Unfortunately, I didn't meet the love of my life when I was 20. I don't think anyone truly understands our situation unless they have been in it. Oh, and since you are a dog lover, the unthoughtful SIL had the nerve to say to me, "I'm curious to see how your relationship with your dogs changes when you have children". So sue me for being a good and caring dog mom. As far as I'm concerned, they are my children and that won't change if and when I have a baby. Sorry to go on and rant. I totally don't blame you for not wanting to go the cousin's baby showers. I would feel the same way. Why put yourself through that torture because you know it'll upset you. And your MIL's comment about how expensive IVF is. Has she never over the course of her lifetime spent $10K on her kids? Seriously, I keep mentally preparing myself for IVF and comparing the cost to a car or 2 really nice vacations. So we sacrifice some things because we want a child at no cost. Maybe I'll just drive my car around until it dies. Its worth it to have a baby. Some people just don't get it. I'm sorry I'm all fired up. I'm just fed up with people who don't think before they speak.
> 
> Blimey - I thought I had it bad but you two have got it coming at you left right and centre! I have 2 sisters and 1 brother and none of us have any children. My cousins on my dad's side have 3 children but they live in Canada. My cousins on my mum's side are still only kids themselves and they also live abroad so I don't have to deal with extended family pressure. My mum and dad never makes us feel bad for not producing any grandchildren although I know deep down they would love at least one. They really are amazing because I know that they have to deal with their peer group making them feel bad for not having any grandchildren. It's mainly work colleagues and even perfect strangers who feel they have the right to comment.
> 
> We don't really have baby showers here in UK (unless things have changed and as with most things baby I have no idea) but if we did I wouldn't go. That would be just torture! You're doing the right thing sending them a gift from the register.
> 
> With regard to IVF, in the area I live in I will be entitled to 3 rounds on the National Health Service (although this could change at any minute) provided I am under 40 and have the right BMI so I won't have to pay for anything just yet. But like you I would find the money if and when I have to.
> 
> Another member with dogs! I've got a pooch too and people always say that I won't be able to keep her once I have a baby - really?? Trust me, my doggy is going NOWHERE!!!!Click to expand...


----------



## missyt

Ruth, even though I feel a lot of pressure from my in-laws, I am fortunate my own family doesn't pressure me at all. My sis, who is 11 years older than me, never had children. She never talks about it and we don't know why. People just gave up asking her after a while. I have 2 brothers, one has 3 children, the other just adopted a beautiful baby girl. His wife has PCOS and he never got tested. They just decided not to go through all that and decided on adoption. I feel pressure living in my neighborhood. We moved there a year ago with the intention of being pregnant or having a baby by now. Its a great family neighborhood with lots of young children, babies and pregnant to-be-moms. All except me now. Now that the weather is getting nicer, I find it hard to be outside watching all this going on. I see the families playing and my two pregnant neighbors walking and it makes me feel so left out and isolated. I love gardening and I noticed I've avoided it more this year because I get sad when I see these things. I just want to crawl under a rock.


----------



## Ruth2307

missyt said:


> Ruth, even though I feel a lot of pressure from my in-laws, I am fortunate my own family doesn't pressure me at all. My sis, who is 11 years older than me, never had children. She never talks about it and we don't know why. People just gave up asking her after a while. I have 2 brothers, one has 3 children, the other just adopted a beautiful baby girl. His wife has PCOS and he never got tested. They just decided not to go through all that and decided on adoption. I feel pressure living in my neighborhood. We moved there a year ago with the intention of being pregnant or having a baby by now. Its a great family neighborhood with lots of young children, babies and pregnant to-be-moms. All except me now. Now that the weather is getting nicer, I find it hard to be outside watching all this going on. I see the families playing and my two pregnant neighbors walking and it makes me feel so left out and isolated. I love gardening and I noticed I've avoided it more this year because I get sad when I see these things. I just want to crawl under a rock.

:hugs: :hugs: Aww you poor thing. You know, when I read comments like this I feel so sad and I just wish I could wave a magic wand and make you feel better because I so know how you feel. I hate the idea that you feel as bad as me I wouldn't wish that on anyone. 

This site is amazing because I get the opportunity to share my thoughts, which is so cathartic and also more importantly listen to others. When I'm feeling particularly fragile, I get locked into a 'it's all about me' mode - not healthy at all! Do you know what I'm trying to say? 

I live in a flat and so don't have a garden but if I had one I'd throw a lot of my energy into making it beautiful. I've been told time and time again that while there is a place for crawling under a rock and licking your wounds so to speak, it's much better to be active in something you enjoy to at least take your mind off baby making. Hard work I know but I don't want to miss out on anything while I'm waiting for this to happen for me.

Sending you lots of positive thoughts and a massive hug 
xxxx


----------



## missyt

Thanks, Ruth. I know exactly how you feel. I really try hard not to show it on the outside and I feel like this site is the only way I can vent and get my true feelings out, because I know you all understand. I actually painted this weekend and that took my mind off of things. Thanks for your positive thoughts! Baby dust to you!


----------



## luvmydoggies

missyt said:


> Hi MissyT and the other Ladies!!!
> I have to agree said:
> 
> 
> Luvmydoggies, hopefully I am doing this quote thing right. I TOTALLY know how you feel. My SIL (one of DH's sisters) said to me when she found out we were TTC, "well we know he isn't the problem", just because DH has an 11 year old from a previous marriage. I think that was one of the most hurtful comments ever said to me. To make it even worse, my MIL is FB friends with DH's ex. They still keep in touch. It makes me feel like I don't rate because I haven't bore her a grandchild. Whenever I go to DH's family gatherings I feel so left out because he has a kid, one of his sisters has 4 kids (she actually had fertility issues) and another sister (the one that made the stupid comment) has 2 kids. DH understands how I feel, which is good. The only one I confide in is his sister that had the fertility issues. At least she gets it. Actually both sisters were on clomid. Not to mention, MIL has 5 kids! I was married before but didn't have children with my ex because he turned out to be abusive. Unfortunately, I didn't meet the love of my life when I was 20. I don't think anyone truly understands our situation unless they have been in it. Oh, and since you are a dog lover, the unthoughtful SIL had the nerve to say to me, "I'm curious to see how your relationship with your dogs changes when you have children". So sue me for being a good and caring dog mom. As far as I'm concerned, they are my children and that won't change if and when I have a baby. Sorry to go on and rant. I totally don't blame you for not wanting to go the cousin's baby showers. I would feel the same way. Why put yourself through that torture because you know it'll upset you. And your MIL's comment about how expensive IVF is. Has she never over the course of her lifetime spent $10K on her kids? Seriously, I keep mentally preparing myself for IVF and comparing the cost to a car or 2 really nice vacations. So we sacrifice some things because we want a child at no cost. Maybe I'll just drive my car around until it dies. Its worth it to have a baby. Some people just don't get it. I'm sorry I'm all fired up. I'm just fed up with people who don't think before they speak.
> 
> Hi Missyt, sorry it took me a few days to get back to you.
> Your in-laws sound like mine! I can't believe your dh's sister said that to you. That was so cruel and insensitive and so not helpful. Your mil being fb friends with your dh's ex- another total low blow to you. I would feel very hurt and betrayed. You are his wife now and the love and respect should be given to you! I'm glad that your dh understands how you feel. I also feel left out at family gatherings. Dh's cousins always hand off their babies to me. I love holding them, I just wish I was a mommie too. As far as meeting my husband, it wasn't until I was 30 and before then, I just wasted my time on guys that I thought would commit but in the end they didn't and only left me with a broken heart. How can your sil say that about your dogs? My dogs are my babies and my saving grace when I feel really down. I actually prefer my dogs to people (the mean and insensitive ones). Please don't say sorry for ranting, I love what you wrote and don't feel so alone. I completely agree about the financing of IVF...I could never put a price on having a baby. Whatever I have to do, I will. I'm also fed up with people and their stupid comments. Wishing you tons of babydust and hoping we get our bfp's very soon!!!!!:hugs::hugs:Click to expand...


----------



## luvmydoggies

velo said:


> luvmydoggies said:
> 
> 
> Hi Velo,
> I don't think I have done anything different for the ewcm, just luck, I think.
> I'm also trying to make sure I pay attention when I wipe :blush: (sorry tmi)
> 
> I'm so glad that FF marked the same days that you thought you ov'd, that's great news! :thumbup: I will be starting with the bbt, next month.
> 
> I had a cup of coffee this morning. Should not have, couldn't keep it down. Since, I was sick I was only drinking tea.
> 
> I'm so happy to hear that you found a hospital for your dh to do the s/a. Did you talk to him yet? What did he decide? School or the long drive?
> 
> That is so awesome that your library delivers books to your door! I really wish they did that here. I would be in heaven. The books that I got, I bought through amazon. Thanks for the selections and the link.
> 
> This really could be our month! I would be over joyed! We would have Jan.2010 babies!!! Woo hoo! :baby::baby::baby::baby:
> 
> On the last note, sadly we don't have any money saved, if we had to do IVF, so I'm still praying it can happen naturally. If nothing happens by June, will have to go back to the doc to see what to do next.
> Sending you lot's of hugs:hugs: and tons of baby dust.:dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust:
> 
> Hi luvmydoggies,
> Well dh decided not this week, and no missing any school. So I have an appointment for him for 2 weeks from this Friday at a medium-drive location. However this location apparently is drop-off only and has no facilities for collection, and it is too far away from us to do at home (must be dropped off within 30 minutes). So I was scouting out locations for masturbation using google street view! Too funny. I wanted to see if the nearest gas station had a private bathroom I could see from the outside (it did).
> 
> Has your dh seen a urologist to see if there are any correctable problems causing the soldier issues (varioceles or some blockages etc.)? Do you know if IUI would be an option? I know that can often help with male factor infertility since they wash the sperm first, thereby weeding out the good :sperm: from the bad :sperm:. Here's a site (possibly near you?) that describes how they wash:
> https://www.spermbankcalifornia.com/male-sperm-washing.html
> Certainly cheaper than IVF :)
> 
> From what I've read (and I'm sure you've already researched this all thoroughly) other things that can affect :sperm: quality include alcohol, smoking, smoking weed, and heating up the testicles. But sometimes the source of the heat is not obvious and can include wearing briefs, having baths instead of showers (if the temp is too warm), excessive exercise esp bicycle riding. Acupuncture can also help men with sperm quality.
> 
> A friend mentioned her husband was told they would need to use IVF with ICSI because of his :sperm: issues, and after 3 months of high dose zinc and vitamin C? E? they conceived naturally. So be encouraged about the vitamins.
> 
> I believe FF told me my due date would be Dec 31, what a way to ring in the new year! Hope we both can get a new years present!
> 
> :dust: :dust:Click to expand...

Hi Velo,
I'm so happy to hear that you have an appt. for your dh. That is great news! You made me laugh about your google-ing a place for your dh to give his sample. I say, if they have a bathroom, tell him to go for it!!!

We actually saw an re last year around this time, that is when it was discovered that dh had great count/quanity but really low motility and morphology. We were told by the re that our only chance of ever having a baby was through IVF. He also told us to have dh checked for a varicocele.

So we went to two urologists but not specific to fertility. Last year, he saw the first uro and he was super old and very forgetful. The first visit, he wanted to ck dh's prostate (which, was fine) and he ordered an ultrasound. A week later when we returned, the doc came in and started to repeat what he said at our first visit. He even wanted to ck dh's prostate, AGAIN! I said dr. we are here for the ultrasound report, remember? He said "oh, let me go try to find it." "oh boy" then while we were waiting, someone in the next room was farting without control:blush: dh just looked at me, like get me out of here!!! Doc came back in the room with the results and told us no varicocele or blockages had been found. Right after the appt. we went and had breakfast and on our way home we were rear ended in a car accident, which destroyed my lower back. It is just now feeling better and it has been a full year with doc visits, physical therapy...on and on. So needless to say it put a big dent into TTC.

Last month, we went to a new urologist who also ordered an ultrasound and a new s/a. The ultrasound came back again with no varicocele or blockages. The s/a, the uro was not happy with it and referred us to go see an re again. When I got home and compared the two s/a's, I found great improvement in the numbers. Still not considered "normal" but better. Dh had started a vitamin regime two weeks prior to this most recent s/a. Maybe I am naive, but I still think it is possible to conceive naturally but if it doesn't happen, I'm open to treatments.

Dh has stopped drinking (maybe a few here and there), doesn't smoke cigs or weed, no hot baths or hot tubs, switched to boxers, doesn't ride a bike. he could stand to lose weight though :wacko:. He is overweight at the moment. We are going to start working out together. Dh is also open for us to do acupuncture.

Thank you for helping me so much! I will check out that site you sent me.
Babies for new years eve...would be the best ever!!!! What a way to start 2012.:hugs::hugs::hugs:

My cbfm still says high fertility but that can't be...so are we considered in the two week wait???

How are you?


----------



## missyt

Luvmydoggies, I'm so glad you understand and can relate. I wish we were neighbors so we could chat and I wouldn't have to look at all the bumps and babies in my neighborhood. Also wish there was someone like you in my family. LOL. About the doggies, when I walk in my door after a bad day and see my little pugs, I can't help but smile. They are so happy to see me and give me kisses and follow me around like I'm the Pied Piper. I also prefer dogs to most people too. Hey, if you ever need to vent, I'm there because I'm sure I know what you are going through!


----------



## luvmydoggies

missyt said:


> Luvmydoggies, I'm so glad you understand and can relate. I wish we were neighbors so we could chat and I wouldn't have to look at all the bumps and babies in my neighborhood. Also wish there was someone like you in my family. LOL. About the doggies, when I walk in my door after a bad day and see my little pugs, I can't help but smile. They are so happy to see me and give me kisses and follow me around like I'm the Pied Piper. I also prefer dogs to most people too. Hey, if you ever need to vent, I'm there because I'm sure I know what you are going through!

You are so sweet! I wish we were neighbors too! What you wrote brought tears to my eyes :cry: because I don't have anyone here that understands, so thank you so much!:flower: I also wish there was someone like you in my family. I don't have any brothers or sisters. I know, when I'm gone and I come home, my dogs are wagging their cute little tails and are so happy to see me! I'm so glad that we are friends.


----------



## missyt

I should feel fortunate that I do have brothers and a sister. One of my brothers has 3 kids. I am very close to his oldest, my neice. We have a very special connection. We looks so much alike that people think she is my daughter. Its so hard because I want to give them cousins so bad. But I don't live close to my family so that is a bummer. We live in MD and we want to move once my stepson is a little older. Where is SoCal do you live? I love it there. I have a lot of family in San Diego and El Cajon and my godparents/aunt & uncle live in Brea.


----------



## luvmydoggies

missyt said:


> I should feel fortunate that I do have brothers and a sister. One of my brothers has 3 kids. I am very close to his oldest, my neice. We have a very special connection. We looks so much alike that people think she is my daughter. Its so hard because I want to give them cousins so bad. But I don't live close to my family so that is a bummer. We live in MD and we want to move once my stepson is a little older. Where is SoCal do you live? I love it there. I have a lot of family in San Diego and El Cajon and my godparents/aunt & uncle live in Brea.

Hi Missyt,
I know what you mean about wanting to give your brothers children cousins. I also don't live near my family. Since I don't have any brothers or sisters, I am very close to my cousins. My cousin (who is a year younger then me) has two adorable little boys, one is 4 and the other one is 2. My cousin has them call me auntie which, I love. I consider them my nephews. I'm always sending outfits and little gifts to them. When I go into the kids section, I will walk through the baby section and imagine myself buying clothes there one day. It would be great when I visit one day, to be able to bring a child of my own. I was raised in Los Angeles. Now I live in between Simi Valley/Thousand Oaks it is in Ventura County. I love the San Diego Area, it is so beautiful. Were you born in MD? Where would you like to move? Would it be closer to your family?


----------



## missyt

Luvvie, I know what you mean. I buy clothes for my neices and nephew all the time. I can't wait to have my own family. I grew up in MA. I want to move back to GA because my brother and his family live there and my parents plan on moving into their house there permanently in a year or so. I used to live in Hawaii too and I loved it. The same thing happened to me as you though. I feel like I wasted my 20's on guys who wouldn't commit. I met my ex husband when I was 29 and got married fairly quickly. He turned out to be abusive, beat my dogs, verbally abusive, etc. so I never had kids with him and I finally had the courage to leave him.


----------



## luvmydoggies

missyt said:


> Luvvie, I know what you mean. I buy clothes for my neices and nephew all the time. I can't wait to have my own family. I grew up in MA. I want to move back to GA because my brother and his family live there and my parents plan on moving into their house there permanently in a year or so. I used to live in Hawaii too and I loved it. The same thing happened to me as you though. I feel like I wasted my 20's on guys who wouldn't commit. I met my ex husband when I was 29 and got married fairly quickly. He turned out to be abusive, beat my dogs, verbally abusive, etc. so I never had kids with him and I finally had the courage to leave him.

Missyt, I'm so sorry you had to experience an abusive husband. That must have been awful for you. We are so similar, I had an abusive boyfriend when I was 23...he was 27. He was seriously crazy. He kidnapped me once because I wanted to break up with him. He wanted to "talk sense into me" he said at the time. He was overly controlling and extremely jealous. He also pushed me around a lot and held me by my neck against a closet door. I truly was afraid for my life. He told me if I ever left him, He would do something to me that I would never forget. I finally got the courage one night and broke up with him. He showed up at my house the next night banging on the security door to my apartment demanding that I come to the door...I almost did but then I called 911. Thank god the police came right away. He wanted everything he ever gave me...which wasn't much:wacko:. I collected it all put in a bag and the police handed it to him. They called him a disgruntled ex boyfriend. He called me for the next year and a half...prank calls, songs, drove by and parked in front of my apartment I eventually moved away. It was a really scary time in my life.. I can only imagine the horror you went through being married to someone like that. I'm so glad we are friends. I know in my heart that we will be mommies of our own one day, very soon.:hugs::hugs:


----------



## velo

luvmydoggies said:


> Hi Velo,
> I'm so happy to hear that you have an appt. for your dh. That is great news! You made me laugh about your google-ing a place for your dh to give his sample. I say, if they have a bathroom, tell him to go for it!!!
> 
> We actually saw an re last year around this time, that is when it was discovered that dh had great count/quanity but really low motility and morphology. We were told by the re that our only chance of ever having a baby was through IVF. He also told us to have dh checked for a varicocele.
> 
> So we went to two urologists but not specific to fertility. Last year, he saw the first uro and he was super old and very forgetful. The first visit, he wanted to ck dh's prostate (which, was fine) and he ordered an ultrasound. A week later when we returned, the doc came in and started to repeat what he said at our first visit. He even wanted to ck dh's prostate, AGAIN! I said dr. we are here for the ultrasound report, remember? He said "oh, let me go try to find it." "oh boy" then while we were waiting, someone in the next room was farting without control:blush: dh just looked at me, like get me out of here!!! Doc came back in the room with the results and told us no varicocele or blockages had been found. Right after the appt. we went and had breakfast and on our way home we were rear ended in a car accident, which destroyed my lower back. It is just now feeling better and it has been a full year with doc visits, physical therapy...on and on. So needless to say it put a big dent into TTC.
> 
> Last month, we went to a new urologist who also ordered an ultrasound and a new s/a. The ultrasound came back again with no varicocele or blockages. The s/a, the uro was not happy with it and referred us to go see an re again. When I got home and compared the two s/a's, I found great improvement in the numbers. Still not considered "normal" but better. Dh had started a vitamin regime two weeks prior to this most recent s/a. Maybe I am naive, but I still think it is possible to conceive naturally but if it doesn't happen, I'm open to treatments.
> 
> Dh has stopped drinking (maybe a few here and there), doesn't smoke cigs or weed, no hot baths or hot tubs, switched to boxers, doesn't ride a bike. he could stand to lose weight though :wacko:. He is overweight at the moment. We are going to start working out together. Dh is also open for us to do acupuncture.
> 
> Thank you for helping me so much! I will check out that site you sent me.
> Babies for new years eve...would be the best ever!!!! What a way to start 2012.:hugs::hugs::hugs:
> 
> My cbfm still says high fertility but that can't be...so are we considered in the two week wait???
> 
> How are you?

Hi luv-how is it going? How are you managing with the TWW? I am a bit down, as I had a TCM appt today and its 11 dpo and I asked him (as he says he can tell by the pulse) whether he thought I was pg and he said no. Though I still continue hope for this cycle! And getting impatient for further progress.

It sounds really frustrating the docs you have visited have not been able to be that helpful. I think a lot of times too they just want to suggest the big guns rather than find and solve the root of the problem! Hoping the zinc will work wonders! When will you get another SA to check? 

It would be awesome if we can conceive naturally! FX for both of us. But yes I too am open to treatments. I just want them to be the cheapest and least invasive ones necessary! 

Oh now I remember the other heat source to avoid - laptops on the lap. Ah wouldn't it be nice if the solution was simple? Much more complicated when its not obvious. 

Does the uro have any recommended next steps or at this point is it just take vitamins, wait and see, and then move on to some sort of assisted method? (hoping that you get a natural :bfp: first!)


----------



## luvmydoggies

velo said:
 

> luvmydoggies said:
> 
> 
> Hi Velo,
> I'm so happy to hear that you have an appt. for your dh. That is great news! You made me laugh about your google-ing a place for your dh to give his sample. I say, if they have a bathroom, tell him to go for it!!!
> 
> We actually saw an re last year around this time, that is when it was discovered that dh had great count/quanity but really low motility and morphology. We were told by the re that our only chance of ever having a baby was through IVF. He also told us to have dh checked for a varicocele.
> 
> So we went to two urologists but not specific to fertility. Last year, he saw the first uro and he was super old and very forgetful. The first visit, he wanted to ck dh's prostate (which, was fine) and he ordered an ultrasound. A week later when we returned, the doc came in and started to repeat what he said at our first visit. He even wanted to ck dh's prostate, AGAIN! I said dr. we are here for the ultrasound report, remember? He said "oh, let me go try to find it." "oh boy" then while we were waiting, someone in the next room was farting without control:blush: dh just looked at me, like get me out of here!!! Doc came back in the room with the results and told us no varicocele or blockages had been found. Right after the appt. we went and had breakfast and on our way home we were rear ended in a car accident, which destroyed my lower back. It is just now feeling better and it has been a full year with doc visits, physical therapy...on and on. So needless to say it put a big dent into TTC.
> 
> Last month, we went to a new urologist who also ordered an ultrasound and a new s/a. The ultrasound came back again with no varicocele or blockages. The s/a, the uro was not happy with it and referred us to go see an re again. When I got home and compared the two s/a's, I found great improvement in the numbers. Still not considered "normal" but better. Dh had started a vitamin regime two weeks prior to this most recent s/a. Maybe I am naive, but I still think it is possible to conceive naturally but if it doesn't happen, I'm open to treatments.
> 
> Dh has stopped drinking (maybe a few here and there), doesn't smoke cigs or weed, no hot baths or hot tubs, switched to boxers, doesn't ride a bike. he could stand to lose weight though :wacko:. He is overweight at the moment. We are going to start working out together. Dh is also open for us to do acupuncture.
> 
> Thank you for helping me so much! I will check out that site you sent me.
> Babies for new years eve...would be the best ever!!!! What a way to start 2012.:hugs::hugs::hugs:
> 
> My cbfm still says high fertility but that can't be...so are we considered in the two week wait???
> 
> How are you?
> 
> Hi luv-how is it going? How are you managing with the TWW? I am a bit down, as I had a TCM appt today and its 11 dpo and I asked him (as he says he can tell by the pulse) whether he thought I was pg and he said no. Though I still continue hope for this cycle! And getting impatient for further progress.
> 
> It sounds really frustrating the docs you have visited have not been able to be that helpful. I think a lot of times too they just want to suggest the big guns rather than find and solve the root of the problem! Hoping the zinc will work wonders! When will you get another SA to check?
> 
> It would be awesome if we can conceive naturally! FX for both of us. But yes I too am open to treatments. I just want them to be the cheapest and least invasive ones necessary!
> 
> Oh now I remember the other heat source to avoid - laptops on the lap. Ah wouldn't it be nice if the solution was simple? Much more complicated when its not obvious.
> 
> Does the uro have any recommended next steps or at this point is it just take vitamins, wait and see, and then move on to some sort of assisted method? (hoping that you get a natural :bfp: first!)Click to expand...

I am so sorry that you are down. Just know that I'm here for you. You are such a sweet friend and I'm so glad that I met you. I'm managing the two week wait ok. Two days ago we found out that a co-worker that my dh worked with a few years ago had a sudden heart attack- he was only 51. We were really devastated by the news. We drove up to Santa Maria yesterday which is a 2 hour drive for us so we could pay our respects to him and his family. It was so sad. Gone too young and too soon. I should be getting af in 2 days. 
The uro did not have an action plan at all. I'm the one that did the research on the vits. He basically is just passing us off to a RE but the one he rec. does not have a good track record and has lousy bed-side manner. I did a lot of research and if I need to go for treatment, I want to go to Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles, which is about hour away, depending on traffic. Hope is doesn't get to that point. If we don't get our bfp's this month, I know we will get them very soon. Thanks for the advice about the lap top..I get mad when dh puts in on his lap, so I yell at him to put it on the coffee table. :)

I was going to ask you if you speak French, because doesn't Velo mean bicycle? I starting taking French last year at a community college.


----------



## velo

luvmydoggies said:


> I am so sorry that you are down. Just know that I'm here for you. You are such a sweet friend and I'm so glad that I met you. I'm managing the two week wait ok. Two days ago we found out that a co-worker that my dh worked with a few years ago had a sudden heart attack- he was only 51. We were really devastated by the news. We drove up to Santa Maria yesterday which is a 2 hour drive for us so we could pay our respects to him and his family. It was so sad. Gone too young and too soon. I should be getting af in 2 days.
> The uro did not have an action plan at all. I'm the one that did the research on the vits. He basically is just passing us off to a RE but the one he rec. does not have a good track record and has lousy bed-side manner. I did a lot of research and if I need to go for treatment, I want to go to Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles, which is about hour away, depending on traffic. Hope is doesn't get to that point. If we don't get our bfp's this month, I know we will get them very soon. Thanks for the advice about the lap top..I get mad when dh puts in on his lap, so I yell at him to put it on the coffee table. :)
> 
> I was going to ask you if you speak French, because doesn't Velo mean bicycle? I starting taking French last year at a community college.

So sorry to hear about your dh's coworker. Its a reminder I guess how we need to make the most of every moment, we don't know when our time will be up.

I am reading The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis right now, and these are the vitamins she suggests for healthy sperm: (she also has suggetsions specific to acupuncture and Chinese herbs):
- Vitamin C: 2000 mg per day (in divided doses)
- Vitamin E: 800 IU per day
- Beta carotene: 100,000 IU per day
- Selenium 200 mcg per day
- Zinc 60 mg per day (necessary for sperm production and testosterone metabolism)
- Vitamin B12: 1000 mg per day (involved in the replication of cells)
- L-arginine: 2 to 4 g per day (helps promote cellular replication)
- L-carnitine: 1000 to 1200 mg per day (assists sperm motility)

Yes velo is French for bicycle. I don't speak much French, but I'm a big fan of my bicycle :)

AF is due for me in about 2 days too. I'm fairly certain it will arrive this time, but still holding out hope for next month! What about you - do you have any symptoms/feelings?


----------



## luvmydoggies

velo said:


> luvmydoggies said:
> 
> 
> I am so sorry that you are down. Just know that I'm here for you. You are such a sweet friend and I'm so glad that I met you. I'm managing the two week wait ok. Two days ago we found out that a co-worker that my dh worked with a few years ago had a sudden heart attack- he was only 51. We were really devastated by the news. We drove up to Santa Maria yesterday which is a 2 hour drive for us so we could pay our respects to him and his family. It was so sad. Gone too young and too soon. I should be getting af in 2 days.
> The uro did not have an action plan at all. I'm the one that did the research on the vits. He basically is just passing us off to a RE but the one he rec. does not have a good track record and has lousy bed-side manner. I did a lot of research and if I need to go for treatment, I want to go to Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles, which is about hour away, depending on traffic. Hope is doesn't get to that point. If we don't get our bfp's this month, I know we will get them very soon. Thanks for the advice about the lap top..I get mad when dh puts in on his lap, so I yell at him to put it on the coffee table. :)
> 
> I was going to ask you if you speak French, because doesn't Velo mean bicycle? I starting taking French last year at a community college.
> 
> So sorry to hear about your dh's coworker. Its a reminder I guess how we need to make the most of every moment, we don't know when our time will be up.
> 
> I am reading The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis right now, and these are the vitamins she suggests for healthy sperm: (she also has suggetsions specific to acupuncture and Chinese herbs):
> - Vitamin C: 2000 mg per day (in divided doses)
> - Vitamin E: 800 IU per day
> - Beta carotene: 100,000 IU per day
> - Selenium 200 mcg per day
> - Zinc 60 mg per day (necessary for sperm production and testosterone metabolism)
> - Vitamin B12: 1000 mg per day (involved in the replication of cells)
> - L-arginine: 2 to 4 g per day (helps promote cellular replication)
> - L-carnitine: 1000 to 1200 mg per day (assists sperm motility)
> 
> Yes velo is French for bicycle. I don't speak much French, but I'm a big fan of my bicycle :)
> 
> AF is due for me in about 2 days too. I'm fairly certain it will arrive this time, but still holding out hope for next month! What about you - do you have any symptoms/feelings?Click to expand...

Hi Velo,
How are you? I'm not doing so great. I really thought that this could be my month. I normally have pms/other symptoms before af but not this month. I have been poas like a mad women...I even convinced myself that I had a positive....and got my hopes up, dh's hopes up. turns out it was just the evap line on a internet cheapie. ( I even ran to the store and got the expensive digital, just so it could tell me 'not pregnant') :cry: I started spotting today, so af will prob be here by tomorrow. I feel like a failure somehow, that I can't pg. It feels like it will never happen, like it only happens to other people. I'm sorry to be such a downer. Thanks for the list of vits..dh is on all of them except for beta carotene and the b12, I will get those to add into the mix. :) How was your weekend? How are you feeling?


----------



## Ruth2307

luvmydoggies said:


> velo said:
> 
> 
> Hi Velo,
> How are you? I'm not doing so great. I really thought that this could be my month. I normally have pms/other symptoms before af but not this month. I have been poas like a mad women...I even convinced myself that I had a positive....and got my hopes up, dh's hopes up. turns out it was just the evap line on a internet cheapie. ( I even ran to the store and got the expensive digital, just so it could tell me 'not pregnant') :cry: I started spotting today, so af will prob be here by tomorrow. I feel like a failure somehow, that I can't pg. It feels like it will never happen, like it only happens to other people. I'm sorry to be such a downer. Thanks for the list of vits..dh is on all of them except for beta carotene and the b12, I will get those to add into the mix. :) How was your weekend? How are you feeling?
> 
> Sorry to hear that it wasn't your month this month. :hugs: AF is due for me on Wednesday and today I have terrible cramps so I can safely assume that it's not my month either. This weekend my friend invited me to see her sons play in their band (which was brilliant by the way) but I had to deal with listening to this other woman banging on about her new granddaughter and then how her 38 year daughter is due later on in the year and how she fell straight way and she doesn't even really want to pregnant blah blah blah so at one point it was all baby talk. I plastered a blank expression my face and in the end I just tuned out completely. They must have thought that I was really off but I just couldn't take it. These conversations always catch you when you're at your weakest and most fragile. But in all of it, that's life and we have to learn to deal with it.
> 
> I am so glad we have each other to help us through these low moments. :hugs:Click to expand...


----------



## luvmydoggies

Ruth2307 said:


> luvmydoggies said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> velo said:
> 
> 
> Hi Velo,
> How are you? I'm not doing so great. I really thought that this could be my month. I normally have pms/other symptoms before af but not this month. I have been poas like a mad women...I even convinced myself that I had a positive....and got my hopes up, dh's hopes up. turns out it was just the evap line on a internet cheapie. ( I even ran to the store and got the expensive digital, just so it could tell me 'not pregnant') :cry: I started spotting today, so af will prob be here by tomorrow. I feel like a failure somehow, that I can't pg. It feels like it will never happen, like it only happens to other people. I'm sorry to be such a downer. Thanks for the list of vits..dh is on all of them except for beta carotene and the b12, I will get those to add into the mix. :) How was your weekend? How are you feeling?
> 
> Sorry to hear that it wasn't your month this month. :hugs: AF is due for me on Wednesday and today I have terrible cramps so I can safely assume that it's not my month either. This weekend my friend invited me to see her sons play in their band (which was brilliant by the way) but I had to deal with listening to this other woman banging on about her new granddaughter and then how her 38 year daughter is due later on in the year and how she fell straight way and she doesn't even really want to pregnant blah blah blah so at one point it was all baby talk. I plastered a blank expression my face and in the end I just tuned out completely. They must have thought that I was really off but I just couldn't take it. These conversations always catch you when you're at your weakest and most fragile. But in all of it, that's life and we have to learn to deal with it.
> 
> I am so glad we have each other to help us through these low moments. :hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> Thank you so much Ruth.:flower: I know what you mean about the conversations catching you at the weakest moments. How do some women fall pregnant right away, that don't really want to be? I just don't get it. Here we are, wanting a baby and to be a mommy so badly. I'm sorry you had to listen to all the baby talk. I think, I would have run away and starting crying in the bathroom. It's just the way I feel at the moment. I am so glad we have each other too!:hugs: Your af has not shown up yet, so there is still a chance.:baby:Click to expand...


----------



## velo

luvmydoggies said:


> Hi Velo,
> How are you? I'm not doing so great. I really thought that this could be my month. I normally have pms/other symptoms before af but not this month. I have been poas like a mad women...I even convinced myself that I had a positive....and got my hopes up, dh's hopes up. turns out it was just the evap line on a internet cheapie. ( I even ran to the store and got the expensive digital, just so it could tell me 'not pregnant') :cry: I started spotting today, so af will prob be here by tomorrow. I feel like a failure somehow, that I can't pg. It feels like it will never happen, like it only happens to other people. I'm sorry to be such a downer. Thanks for the list of vits..dh is on all of them except for beta carotene and the b12, I will get those to add into the mix. :) How was your weekend? How are you feeling?

Sorry I realize I had not replied to this! I'm doing okay. I'm trying to be more zen of it will happen when it happens. (easier said than done) I'm really sorry it was not your month. Evap lines sound realllly cruel. I'm starting off this month assuming this is NOT going to be the month. Mostly because DH just had his SA done and there looks to be some lingering effects (clumping) from an infection he had, so I assume it may be 2-3 months to return to normal. That and I think I may have ovulated on day 9 (!!) when the last two months were day 16 and 14. I wasn't even thinking of trying OPK yet and we had to abstain before DH's test and then after his test we didn't have a full day of recharge in there. If I haven't ov'ed yet then my chart/hormones are really wonky!!

I feel the whole failure thing too. I bounce between feeling really down about it, and thinking that these things happen for a reason and I am having the opportunity to really focus on improving my own health. But then unhealthy people get pregnant without trying and you wonder about the fairness of the universe!

FX this will be your month!


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