# Parental Responsibility is ridiculous



## Attalu

I'm just having a bit of a rant..

My sons father is named on the birth certificate but hasn't seem him or done anything for him in the last 10 months. 
I am my sons only carer, I do absolutely everything for him. His father is a drug addict who lives over 100 miles away. 
It's so frustrating that if I want to do something as simple as take my son on holiday I can't do it without his approval. 
This man essentially has control over mine and my sons life from 100 miles away. 
It makes me so angry that he wants nothing to do with his son but still feels the need to have some kind of a hold over him. 

I know my son has a right to his father and he should be able to know who he is but this is so stupid to me. 

I can't be the only mother completely irritated by this system.. right?


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## Mummy1995

Where are you from? You don't need consent to go on holiday just proof youre his mum in england x


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## xxsteffyxx

Yeah ditto I didn't need to give Consent to take my son out of the country. I just needed to prove I was his mother (ie - needed his birth certificate) xx


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## lovejoy

You don't need his approval to go aboard. To live aboard yeah, but not for a holiday. Always check because my ex tried to scared me with a whole bunch of rubbish about me not being able to go on holiday with the kids or he'll have me arrested . I double checked it's a load of poo.


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## KayBea

u dont need his aproval to take lo abroad for a holiday - as the others have said.

what made you think that? :hugs: xx


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## Ceejay123

.


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## Midnight_Fairy

Ive not seen or heard from my sons dad in 10yrs xx i took him on holiday ok


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## Kayley

If the FOB has regular contact it will be best to get written permission to take LO abroad.


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## Rags

Can I ask if your child has your last name on their passport? I took my niece abroad with nothing official from either of her parents, she has the same last name as me so no one questioned us at all.


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## Attalu

My son has his fathers last name. I'm pretty sure that Coram Legal Centre said I'd need his permission.


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## Rags

I'm sorry that it will come to that for you. What an absolute hassle and so awful that you have to have this man back in your life for anything. Do you have contact with any of his family, would they be willing to arrange the paper work for you? Or do you have to do it via a solicitor? I so hope it all goes smoothly for you.


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## Myszka

I took my girl on holiday no one even batted an eyelid. They barely even looked at her face let along asked if I had consent! 

I'm sorry you're feeling so controlled :hugs: it must be an awful feeling.


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## stardust599

I took mines on holiday without their Dad and nobody checked up on anything even though they don't share a surname with me.


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## liverpoolbaby

What control do fathers have over the baby if they are on the birth certificate then?

out of curiosity?

(UK- England)


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## Karren

liverpoolbaby said:


> What control do fathers have over the baby if they are on the birth certificate then?
> 
> out of curiosity?
> 
> (UK- England)

They have rights if they are on it.

If they are not on it and therefore not established as the father then they don't have any rights unless they go to court and get it established.


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## liverpoolbaby

Karren said:


> liverpoolbaby said:
> 
> 
> What control do fathers have over the baby if they are on the birth certificate then?
> 
> out of curiosity?
> 
> (UK- England)
> 
> They have rights if they are on it.
> 
> If they are not on it and therefore not established as the father then they don't have any rights unless they go to court and get it established.Click to expand...

Rights over what exactly?

sorry I dont know much and I really do need to do my research before its too late x


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## Karren

liverpoolbaby said:


> Karren said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> liverpoolbaby said:
> 
> 
> What control do fathers have over the baby if they are on the birth certificate then?
> 
> out of curiosity?
> 
> (UK- England)
> 
> They have rights if they are on it.
> 
> If they are not on it and therefore not established as the father then they don't have any rights unless they go to court and get it established.Click to expand...
> 
> Rights over what exactly?
> 
> sorry I dont know much and I really do need to do my research before its too late xClick to expand...

I've sent you a PM :thumbup:


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## Ceejay123

It's classed as a responsibility, not a right/control. 

The responsibility to provide a home, maintain the child. 

disciplining the child
choosing and providing for the child&#8217;s education
agreeing to the child&#8217;s medical treatment
naming the child and agreeing to any change of name
looking after the child&#8217;s property

If there's no 'residence' (now child arrangement order) in place they have the same responsibilities as the mother. If there is, they have the mother can take the child abroad for up to 28 days without the fathers consent ( unless this conflicts with court ordered contact arrangements) 

Hope that helps x


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## 2kidsplusttc3

My daughter 's dad hasn't seen her since she was 10 months old. and my son's dad hasn't met him at all and he is 5 years old. I feel better off without that prick . in my opinion sometimes it is better to do it alone than be with someone unhealthy.


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