# Do you get asked constantly if your multiples were IVF/Clomid based?



## LucyLake

Any mamas starting to announce or already had their babies getting barraged with nosy questions? I'm only 13 weeks/showing a lot and even the grocery store worker I've known 10 years wanted to know if I had IVF or some intervention.

Just wondered if that's your experience and how you respond to nosy people, especially if your multiples were also natural? Did you also get a bit annoyed if you're expecting natural twins/trips? I don't mind the questions and would have had IVF in a second if I needed it, but man are people nosy with these twin/trips pregnancies!!! 

Even a close friend was like "clomid, right?"

I responded: "no, hubby and I just had too much fun."


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## ~Brandy~

I get it all the time. Mine are IVF but I dont think it's any of their business :) 


I just say "I am sorry that is a personal question"


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## Heramys

No, noone has asked that. However I get "does twins run in your family" everytime. So I answer "yes" , because it does and I don't want to go into an ivf conversation with almost strangers.

Could be that the clinics here have a policy to only return 1 embryo unless chances of success are very slim. So twin pregnancies usually natural here.


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## LucyLake

Brandy, I love it!!! :D keep them guessing!!! :flower:

Yeah, I think this is definitely a question we get more in the states where it's common to transfer a few embryos and we had Octomom and Kate+8. I'm on some Facebook groups for modi and multiples and it's amazing how little people know about twins. I'm feeling for all you fraternal mamas. Even with boy/girl fraternals, you can expect people to say "ohhhhhh are they identical?!!" :brat:

You can't make this stuff up!


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## lizziedripping

I get the 'disguised nosiness' all the time - typically, 'do twins run in the family?', or 'was it a shock to discover twins?'. 

I can understand people's natural curiosity but would rather they just come out and ask it. That said, it really is no one else's business and does it really matter how they were conceived? Twins is twins, end of.

I actually laugh when people address the issue now because given my history and crappy cervix there is no way we would have intentionally risked twins - it was a complete nightmare when we found out because I assumed the pregnancy would be doomed to failure. I sometimes feel like having a rant about this to the nosey types, but figure it's better to let it go ;) 

You're gonna love having twins so much hun that people's well intentioned comments and questions will simply wash over you :) xxx


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## ~Brandy~

I cant wait for the stupid questions like are they identical&#8230;


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## cherrylips100

I've not really had the IVF question, probably as I'm only in my early 20s but can identify with all the other questions, I don't know how many times i've had to explain that frats can only be down to the mothers biology and no I won't be dressing them the same!


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## Sweetness_87

I have some people that ask. But never bothers me because DH and I have tried for so long and is truly a blessing. So I dont get offended when people ask. But yes you will hear it a lot


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## sugarplumbum

I either get the 

"was it IVF?" - none of your business you nosy sod.

"Does twins run in your family?" - No it doesn't

"Do you have enough room in your house?" - wtf?? what a strange thing to ask, but I have had it twice in the last week alone!

"Are you having a c section or normal delivery?" Who knows...you cant plan these things with twins.

"Are you going to breastfeed?" again, from strangers....I won't even go into the fact that I have had a double mastectomy...although maybe I should as it may stop them asking personal questions!

:shrug:


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## want2bemommy

I get asked that a lot, and while it is being nosey, I don't mind. I tell them it was a natural surprise. I live on Maui and truthfully, island life can be like that, but it's more considered a truly friendly desire to get to know you- boundaries are often blurred lol


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## HappiestMom

I get asked alot if they are twins!..Im like how else would I have two babies the same age that look the same...really?! I mean do people have NO common sense at all?


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## Whisper82

I don't think anyone has been bold enough to ask if they were IVF, but I have had tons of people ask if twins run in our family. A couple of people have gone on to hint about how their second cousin's, ex husband's, dog walker had IVF and ended up with twins. I think they share "common ground" wanting me to "admit" I had IVF too. Sometimes I talk about our IVF if I feel it will help give hope to someone or help educate others about infertility, but if the person is just being nosey I just say "oh that's nice."


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## LucyLake

lizziedripping said:


> I get the 'disguised nosiness' all the time - typically, 'do twins run in the family?', or 'was it a shock to discover twins?'.
> 
> I can understand people's natural curiosity but would rather they just come out and ask it. That said, it really is no one else's business and does it really matter how they were conceived? Twins is twins, end of.
> 
> I actually laugh when people address the issue now because given my history and crappy cervix there is no way we would have intentionally risked twins - it was a complete nightmare when we found out because I assumed the pregnancy would be doomed to failure. I sometimes feel like having a rant about this to the nosey types, but figure it's better to let it go ;)
> 
> You're gonna love having twins so much hun that people's well intentioned comments and questions will simply wash over you :) xxx

Loved this, you echoed a lot of my sentiments! People are always asking "if it's natural, how do I join you, what do I do?" While we are absolutely thrilled beyond measure, I've actually stopped discussing the things I did to get here because 70% of identicals are mo-di and it's a very risky pregnancy with the worries about the shared placenta, Twin-Twin Transfusion Syndrome...


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## LucyLake

One of the subtle ways I know the questions are coming about Intervention is the typical:

"Twins??!! Well, how old are you?" 

34.

Then they scratch their heads because I'm not in my 20's to where it could be for sure natural, but I'm also not in that older 30's-early 40's group just yet to where they can easily guess intervention. It's fun to see the looks on their faces.

Sometimes, they'll straight out ask about intervention, sometimes they leave it alone, and other times they find other ways to manipulate the information out of you.


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## LucyLake

New question today:

Old co-worker I bumped into at the store:

Is the twins father different from your son's? Our son is 9 and my husband was one and done for almost 9 years until we got pregnant in January shockingly on the MAP and I miscarried in Feb. :cry:

I expected these kind of questions with the age difference, just not this early!!


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## ~Brandy~

I think its so ridiculous how nosey people can be seriously. This last week has been the worst since I started showing.. It&#8217;s really amazing how personal everyone at work wants to get. 

I got cornered by a lady trying to give me breastfeeding tips since she had 2 under 2 and fed them both. Not even the same thing lady but ok&#8230; But the fact were standing in the break room and she is going off about lotions and potions and how to hold them to feed both at the same time.. ugh. I have a long way to go I hope it gets better.


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## LucyLake

~Brandy~ said:


> I think its so ridiculous how nosey people can be seriously. This last week has been the worst since I started showing.. It&#8217;s really amazing how personal everyone at work wants to get.
> 
> I got cornered by a lady trying to give me breastfeeding tips since she had 2 under 2 and fed them both. Not even the same thing lady but ok&#8230; But the fact were standing in the break room and she is going off about lotions and potions and how to hold them to feed both at the same time.. ugh. I have a long way to go I hope it gets better.

OMG seriously Brandy?!! Lol!! That's really not the same at all when one comes off the breast completely and the other comes on. I bet she doesn't even know what tandem feeding means!! And in the break-room?? :wacko: 

I know what you mean about starting to show. I'm ready to hide the pregnancy, but it's tough when your bump looks more like a 18-20 weeker :haha: I'd leave out the twins part, but when they ask how far along you are and you say 13 weeks, their eyes practically pop out of their sockets.


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## ~Brandy~

LucyLake said:


> ~Brandy~ said:
> 
> 
> I think its so ridiculous how nosey people can be seriously. This last week has been the worst since I started showing.. Its really amazing how personal everyone at work wants to get.
> 
> I got cornered by a lady trying to give me breastfeeding tips since she had 2 under 2 and fed them both. Not even the same thing lady but ok But the fact were standing in the break room and she is going off about lotions and potions and how to hold them to feed both at the same time.. ugh. I have a long way to go I hope it gets better.
> 
> OMG seriously Brandy?!! Lol!! That's really not the same at all when one comes off the breast completely and the other comes on. I bet she doesn't even know what tandem feeding means!! And in the break-room?? :wacko:
> 
> I know what you mean about starting to show. I'm ready to hide the pregnancy, but it's tough when your bump looks more like a 18-20 weeker :haha: I'd leave out the twins part, but when they ask how far along you are and you say 13 weeks, their eyes practically pop out of their sockets.Click to expand...

haha exactly.. I just got my bump in the last 2 weeks its not bloat for sure lol. I asked the doctor how to get rid of this bloat and he laughed and said its your uterus :haha:


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## zowiey

I've never been asked, I do get every time "do twins run in the family?" But no-one has asked that next question yet! But then I'm 30, so I guess people probably think that I'm too young for ivf! 
I do find people are almost disappointed when they find out they aren't identical! For the most part though I wouldn't tell strangers we'd had IVF, because its none of their damn business! 

Also, I don't see what difference it makes, with non ids they are all made with 2 separate eggs & sperm regardless of whether that is in the lab or uterus! It makes them no more or less twins :)


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## LucyLake

That's so funny that they are almost disappointed when you say fraternal zowiey!!

My experience has been that when I say identical, some of their eyes light up and they "ohhhh you could have a boy and a girl." When I explain that identical twins are always the same gender they seem almost disappointed! My guess is that they think of b/g twins as your perfect 2.0 ready made family?

It's so funny too, because while b/g twins would have been amazing, I definitely prefer same sex because of the bond they'll have. My childhood friends were b/g and they've drifted in adulthood and one is a red-head, the boy looks nothing like her with brown hair! Of course, never say never though because some identicals don't look much alike and then there are fraternals like the Olsen's that look like mirror di-di identicals!!

I sometimes confuse people who get disappointed when I explain that identical are same sex by explaining the exception-10 total worldwide cases where a boy twin loses a Y chromosome and has Turner's Syndrome, effectively becoming female with inability to reproduce.

You can't totally fault people for not knowing about twinning because just last week I was begging my OB to tell me gender. She was just doing a quick peek on a crappy scanner to make sure the twins were ok and about the same size. She was like: I know you're anxious but you already know you'll either have two girls to play dress up or two boys to make a tiny baseball team. Then I told her about the rare Turner's identical twins and she was like "really?"

So even the OB's don't know much about twinning compared to us mamas!!


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## cherrylips100

~Brandy~ said:


> I got cornered by a lady trying to give me breastfeeding tips since she had 2 under 2 and fed them both. Not even the same thing lady but ok .

I had this a couple of weeks ago. A lady in a shop was like 'there's only a year between my last two so it was basically like having twins'
Yes, apart from the whole having two separate pregnancies and different aged children it is exactly the same lol


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## skyesmom

what, Olsen's are fraternal????? (sorry to go off topic!!)


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## Whisper82

Yup! I have also heard the Olsen twins are fraternal. I ran into a twin mom at the store who had twin girls who looked identical, but she said they are fraternal. Amazing. 

My most recent experience with a silly twin question was when I was at the store and someone asked, "Are they girls or boys?" They both had bows on their heads. I think people are just excited to see twins and rational thought goes out of their heads. :shrug:


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## LucyLake

Well Skyesmom, I know some foremost authorities on identicals and TTTS dispute that the Olsen's are fraternal, a lot of experts think they are probably di-di identical. But, the mom says she had them tested and their DNA is not identical. Unbelievable as they look like mirrors of each other. But, having seen more twins in recent weeks in my FB groups, I've noticed that some frats look very identical.

<3


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## cntrygrl

I am sorry I know you ladies hate these personal questions. I will be starting injectables along with IUI. I was wondering if any of you ladies conceived multiples this way? We will be happy with however many are conceived. I've been trying to find information online, but all of it is so contradicting. One site will say one thing while another says something completely different. Just looking for answers from people who have actually had experience with it. Thank You.


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## Dis3tnd

I get asked if twins run in my family all the time - luckily I have twin aunts and twin cousins so I can say yes! From DH's side its always, "How did that happen?! We have no twins in our family?!" I kindly remind them that I'm also part of the equation (actually the only part of the equation that should matter) and that there are twins on my side.

I've been getting asked a lot, "OMG what are you gonna do?" as if its a horrible thing because my son will be about 18-19 months when they come (fingers crossed). People look terrified for me but I consider it a blessing so why are they concerned?!


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## hazeleyes1556

Usually I get "Do twins run in your family?" or "Were you taking anything fertility wise?" not always in that order though, I just respond yes to the twins no to the fertility. I would go more in depth in the beginning but now I just respond yes or no because I've been asked so many times.


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## GemmaG

I have been asked 'Do twins run in your family' 'Did you know you were having twins when you had them?!?! Like seriously lol no I just went in and they said Surprise.......of course I knew lol also did you feed them yourself and when I say I breastfed for the first 3 months the look of horror lol and don't even get me started with are they identical!!!! Hmm one has a penis and I'm hoping Mia doesn't have one hiding somewhere that I don't know about lol so no..... People are baffled that a boy and girl can't be identical:shrug:


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## MommyGrim

I've gotten "Oh! Are they twins??" :dohh: Nope, just have two babies who just happen to be the same age. 
"Are they identical?" >.< Yes...my boy/girl twins are identical...
"Wow, you're so young to have two!" You should see the look they give us when we say we have a 3 year old :haha:


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## ~Brandy~

MommyGrim said:


> I've gotten "Oh! Are they twins??" :dohh: Nope, just have two babies who just happen to be the same age.
> "Are they identical?" >.< Yes...my boy/girl twins are identical...
> "Wow, you're so young to have two!" You should see the look they give us when we say we have a 3 year old :haha:

Just wait till you're older... I had my first 2 very young and I got the same reaction you do. But now its even worse! No one ever believes me that I have a 21 year old and I am a grandmother that is pregnant with twins and I am 38.

I get carded at every store for anything and it gets to be very annoying.


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## jogami

I heard the best on Saturday. We went to a friends daughters 4th birthday and her mother in law asked "What is the age difference between your girls?" :shock: They are almost the same size, were wearing exactly the same outfits! Granted they look very different but geez you can see there is not a 10 month age difference! I felt lik saying "3 months difference..." :rofl: Gosh some people hey...


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## Dis3tnd

~Brandy~ said:


> MommyGrim said:
> 
> 
> I've gotten "Oh! Are they twins??" :dohh: Nope, just have two babies who just happen to be the same age.
> "Are they identical?" >.< Yes...my boy/girl twins are identical...
> "Wow, you're so young to have two!" You should see the look they give us when we say we have a 3 year old :haha:
> 
> Just wait till you're older... I had my first 2 very young and I got the same reaction you do. But now its even worse! No one ever believes me that I have a 21 year old and I am a grandmother that is pregnant with twins and I am 38.
> 
> I get carded at every store for anything and it gets to be very annoying.Click to expand...

Wow! How cool that you get to do it all over again! I think I'd love to have another later in life. My mom had the 3 of us when she was very young, and then had a surprise when she was 38 - there was 18 years between her oldest and youngest child. We loved having a little one in the house and it really kept my family together as the 3 of us moved away, got married etc, we all still make sure to get together on the weekends to have dinner as a family so my little brother doesn't feel lonely - and I could never move far away - he's like a son to me and I need to be within 5 minutes of him (being away for university was so hard). Now I'm 5 minutes away and he's over all the time.


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## firsttimemumm

Yes, I've had this question a few times now. I'm completely go smacked that complete strangers think that it's 'normal' to ask a question like that but at the minute I'm quite polite when I tell them that they are natural. Mostly people ask if there are twins in the family.... Think that's a slightly more polite way of asking the similar thing sometimes. 

We are having b/g and I know I've posted about this before but it still shocks me. I had someone look at me with pity when I told them and then say "well, it's still 'like' having twins without them actually being twins". I nearly died....."erm, they are both in there at the same time!!!!!!! :dohh::dohh:

And I've already had the "are they identical?" question..... "Not unless the sonographer got it wrong..."


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## LucyLake

A very rude lady just told my friend that she feels sorry for her that she has identical twins because they're "freaky" and "you shouldn't dress them just alike." She said b/g fraternals would have been much preferred :brat:


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## MommyGrim

LucyLake said:


> A very rude lady just told my friend that she feels sorry for her that she has identical twins because they're "freaky" and "you shouldn't dress them just alike." She said b/g fraternals would have been much preferred :brat:

Woah! Did she smack her across the face? Who the hell would call someones children freaky?? Especially to their face!


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## LucyLake

MommyGrim said:


> LucyLake said:
> 
> 
> A very rude lady just told my friend that she feels sorry for her that she has identical twins because they're "freaky" and "you shouldn't dress them just alike." She said b/g fraternals would have been much preferred :brat:
> 
> Woah! Did she smack her across the face? Who the hell would call someones children freaky?? Especially to their face!Click to expand...

Right! Apparently, she had a daughter with her and was pregnant too!!


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