# 14 pregnant and looking for advice



## Sky0818

My name is Skylar. I will be 15 in a few weeks and I'm about 3 months along in my pregnancy. I havent told my parents yet I've been hiding it but its getting harder to hide. I told my boyfriend and he wants me to tell my parents and his because we are going to need support I'm scared cause my sister got pregnant at 17 and my dad flipped out and kicked her out for 3 months he eventually came around but they always tell me to make better decisions than my sister. I want trying to get pregnant we used protection every time except one time we ran out of condoms and I figured one time wouldn't be a problem now I'm in this situation. I'm only gunna be a sophomore in hifmgh school how am I supposed to do this please any advice.


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## MissMarpleFan

I think you should listen to your boyfriend on this one.


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## NovaStar

Youre going to have to tell your parents eventually. Might as well rip the bandaid off. Since you seem to have decided to keep the baby, theyre gonna notice sooner or later. Tell them now so they have time to be upset, get over it, and come around to help you.


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## ClairAye

Hello! I was a couple years older but fell pregnant with my first at 16 and had him at 17. It's not going to be fun or easy but you need to tell your parents sooner rather than later, it gives them more time to wrap their heads around the idea. My dad was also NOT happy (I had already moved out though) and didn't mention my pregnancy positively or really talk to me until I was almost 30 weeks, he only fully came around after my son was born but he was estatic. I fell pregnant with my second 10 months later at 18 and I was most scared of my dad's reaction but he gave me a hug and told me it was my life, he wasn't dissapointed in me or whatever. Though that was both me his reaction was a thousand times better the second time, you never know what reactions will be. As for school I have no advice as I left school as soon as I could and fell pregnant after that.


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## Sky0818

I told my sister about a month ago because I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. I talked to my boyfriend yesterday and we decided to tell my mom and dad Sunday after we tell his parents tomorrow. I'm just hoping that they all take it well. We have decided to keep the baby. My sister said that hopefully my dad wont get as angry as he did with her but that if there are any issues I'm more than welcome to stay with her, so at least I wont end up with no where to go.


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## ClairAye

Sky0818 said:


> I told my sister about a month ago because I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. I talked to my boyfriend yesterday and we decided to tell my mom and dad Sunday after we tell his parents tomorrow. I'm just hoping that they all take it well. We have decided to keep the baby. My sister said that hopefully my dad wont get as angry as he did with her but that if there are any issues I'm more than welcome to stay with her, so at least I wont end up with no where to go.

I hope it goes well telling your parents. :hugs: It really is better to get it over and done with.


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## iBeach

How did it all go?
Hopefully everything is okay on your end. :hugs:


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## Sky0818

So we told my boyfriends parents first and they were totally accepting a little disappointed with us but told us that they would help any way that they can that I am always welcome there. Then we went and told my parents the day after that did not go so well my mom was upset but she didnt yell or anything just looked disappointed. My dad started screaming at me and my boyfriend telling him he should have kept it in his pants and that I should have kept my legs closed. I'm worse than my sister at least she was older he cant believe I went and did this. He kept screaming but I stopped listening at that point because I was balling my eyes out into Kalebs (my boyfriend) chest. My mom kept trying to get him to stop. So I finally screamed fine I'll just go stay at Kalebs. To which my dad screamed good get out. So I packed a bag with clothes and things that I needed. My mom pleaded with me to stay I told her it wasn't her fault but that I couldn't stay there with him acting this way. She gave me a hug and told me she would call me. I left, it just feels like this is my sister all over again. I just dont know of he will come around. My mon texted me today to see how I was feeling. She told me she will let me know when he calms down but she doesnt want me to cut her out of my life cause she wants to be there for me even if my dad doesnt. I told her that it wasn't her fault but i didnt feel comfortable around my dad right now. She was okay with that, me and her I going out shopping tomorrow when my dad is working. I'm staying at Kalebs right now his parents are fine with it they said i can stay as long as I want. I just really hope my dad comes around at some point thinking about him and what he said is really bumming me out. :(


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## ClairAye

I'm so sorry it didn't go well with your dad but it is great everyone else is offering their support and help. I hope your dad just needs some time to come around. :hugs:


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## Sky0818

So I went shopping with my mom today I thought it would make things better but it really didnt. My dad called while we were out and when my mom told him she was out with me he started yelling at her that I dug my self into this hole and now i have to lie in it. She took me home after that and I've basically been crying ever since I dont kno what to do...I'm just so upset over all this...plus Kaleb is working a late shift tonight so I'm sitting in his room crying by myself:'(


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## MissMarpleFan

Can you try to imagine what your dad might be feeling underneath his anger? If you have a daughter, will you be ready and wanting to become a grandmother in 15 years?

I think your father will come around eventually, but it will help the healing between you if you can try to put yourself in his shoes and understand where his feelings are coming from. In the mean time, I&#8217;d give him (and you) some space.


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## Sky0818

I mean I can totally understand where he is but I dont know i just cant help but let the mean things that he said to me get to me. Like some of it was really mean and then to tell my mom that I just have to deal with it. Like I already know I made a mistake I've known for 3 months that's why I didnt tell them. If I have a little girl I will make sure she learns from my experience. I dont think of my baby as a mistake, the mistake was the one time having sex with out protection. I try and see how my dad feels and I feel like I do but I also just cant stop crying as his child. I


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## Sky0818

I've been feeling very down and depressed the past couple days and I just cant seem to get out of it at all. I have my first real doctors appointment tomorrow. I was going to the clinic but they wouldn't do ultrasounds cause I didnt have a parent with me but they did prescribe my prenatal. Kalebs mom got me and appointment with her doctor. But even the thought of getting to see my baby hasn't been able to make me feel better. I feel like all I do all day is sit here and cry I dont know what else to do. I can see Kaleb beginning to worry about me but I cant help it. Any advice on how to feel better?


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## ClairAye

Sky0818 said:


> I've been feeling very down and depressed the past couple days and I just cant seem to get out of it at all. I have my first real doctors appointment tomorrow. I was going to the clinic but they wouldn't do ultrasounds cause I didnt have a parent with me but they did prescribe my prenatal. Kalebs mom got me and appointment with her doctor. But even the thought of getting to see my baby hasn't been able to make me feel better. I feel like all I do all day is sit here and cry I dont know what else to do. I can see Kaleb beginning to worry about me but I cant help it. Any advice on how to feel better?

I remember feeling the same in the first couple of weeks after telling my parents, the stress of their reactions ontop of being so young and pregnant was really tough. Try keep yourself busy, even when you really don't want to, going out on walks etc can help keep your mind off things, even if only for a short while. Good luck at your appointment! I hope you start feeling a bit better soon but it might also be worth mentioning how you're feeling at your appointment.


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## kittylady

Hi x my sister got pregnant at 19 and I remember my Dad telling her she ruined her life and she needed to get an abortion or she'd amount to nothing. She went for the appointment, found out she was having twins and left. They are now 10 years old, she is married to another man and owns her own tattoo shop. It hasn't ruined her life at all although I wont lie and say it wasn't hard because it was. I was actually 18 at the time and I tried to be with her as much as possible and stayed with her for about a week after she came home to help her. Can you reach out to your sister for support, she has gone through this.


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## nic18

I agree with giving your dad and yourself some space, it is a lot for him to take in and you being around him just now is not good for you. Try and do things to take your mind off things and keep things as normal as possible, your dad will come around eventually. Good Luck


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## Sky0818

My appointment went well it was great to see my baby on the ultrasound especially since it was the first one I got to see. I told my doctor about how I'm feeling and she recommended a therapist just to have someone to talk to. I've gone to her twice so far all she has said is to try and cut all ties with my parents for now...she doesnt want time to push anything with them only because she said it just seems to make me more upset. I asked about my sister and she said that I can keep talking to her she doesnt seem to be a problem...well that changed yesterday...I told my sister what the therapist said and that I was going to try it cause I felt like I really need to get this in check cause it's not healthy for me or the baby. Well my sister flipped out saying how she cant believe I would do that to our mom she has done nothing but good things for me it's not her fault that my dad is being this way...she hung up on me before I could even explain that the therapist said that I shouldn't contact them but if mom was to call me I could talk to her and keep things positive and if they went toward the negative to just tell her I had to go...I'm feeling a little better today aside from morning sickness which started a week ago...Kaleb had today off so we ended going to the beach for a little while and then out to dinner with his parents..even did a little baby shopping they have started clearing out their spare room so we can start setting up a nursery...we find out the sex of the baby at our next appointment..not sure if I want to know or be surprised..maybe a gender reveal what do you guys think?


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## Carrots

Your dad sounds like he has some serious anger management issues. Honestly, if two of my children became teen parents, I would wonder what I did to make them need to look outside their family for love at such a young age. 

I'm 31 and I've seen how damaging parents' behavior can be to their children - even as adults. 

If I was you I would cut your father out of your life going forward and then take a lot of time considering if a relationship with your dad is in your best interest when he tries to reach out to you.

Also, your mom is not innocent in this, she's enabling his horrible behavior. If my husband ever teats one of our children with such cruelty when the child is struggling, that is when I would lose my temper.


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## coquis224

Honey it sounds like your dad is an abusive person. You are better off staying away from him! He is a danger to you if he emotionally abuses you like that! For now I would stay with your boyfriend's parents. I feel bad for your mother but she is grown and can make her own decisions. You need support right now and if your bf's parents are willing to help you stay there for the time being. Please continue going to school to avoid drawing attention of CPS or the court system. 

I had my first child at 16 and married her dad. It's not always bad. I got a GED at 16 and currently make about 40k a year which isn't great but much better than some. (I'm 32 now) I don't want you to think your life is over now and don't listen to those who say it is. If you want to chat I'm here.


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## Kiwiberry

I'm so sorry you're going through this, especially being so young. I would also like to say I completely agree with Carrots. The way your father is treating you is completely unacceptable and she's right your mother is enabling it because she's not doing anything to stop it. If I was your mother I would be completely livid at your father. I don't know if you live in the United States are not but it sounds like you do and I want you to know that it's actually very illegal for your father to kick you out before the age of 18 even what he did to your sister. 



> If the Minor Is Not Emancipated
> 
> Kicking an underage child (meaning under 18 in most states) out of the house, without the child being emancipated, can often be considered child abandonment, which is a crime.
> 
> Even if you arent leaving your child on a proverbial street corner, you will be legally abandoning her if you:
> 
> Leave your child with a neighbor and dont communicate with her;
> Fail to send some sort of money to support her, or
> Refuse to participate in a plan by a school or program to reunite you and your child.
> Also keep in mind that depending on the laws of your state, a neighbor or school administrator in these cases may be legally required to report a parent for child abandonment.

I agree with the suggestion of cutting all communication with your parents. I would also consider talking to your school once you start going back. it sounds like your boyfriend's parents are reacting exactly how parents should and it's a good idea that you stay with them until you're 18 and can take care of yourself.

You can do this honey.


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## nic18

I agree with cutting ties with your dad, your mum is enabling this behaviour from your dad but has she been ok when you speak to her? if so I would keep in touch with your mum. sorry to hear about your sister that is awful what she has done. Its so lovely at your ultrasound seeing your little baby :). Big decisions on if you want to find out the sex or not :)!


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## Sky0818

Thank you all for the encouragement. My boyfriends parents are amazing. They have been so helpful and understanding with everything. I have another appointment tomorrow this time we will be finding out the gender but Kalebs mom is going to have a cake made and we are going to do a little gender reveal. I really wish my family could be more involved but I think staying away from them is the best thing for me and my baby right now. I'm feeling much happier since I have cut off communication. Kalebs parents have got me a new phone on their plan so that my parents dont have the number any more. Kaleb is a middle child he has an older brother and a younger sister. They have also been so supportive of us his sister is 13 so she is kinda close to my age, Kaleb turned 16 last January, and his brother is 19. Its great having people around that are supportive. His parents have even bought me all the school supplies that I need when school starts next week. I'm a little worried about going to school I cant really hide my pregnancy anymore. Kalebs parents have already informed the school about everything and that my parents are not to be contacted for anything. Again I'm just worried about the people at school I can already see people whispering when I go out, i just dont know how school is going to be. I've also been having horrible morning sickness that seems to last all day i can barely keep anything down any tips on how to help tht.


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## Kiwiberry

How far along are you now?

Morning sickness can be very hard to struggle with. First thing I would do is talk to your OBGYN about it and see if there's anything they can give you to help. Make sure you're drinking plenty of water so you don't get dehydrated from throwing up so much. It's very easy to get dehydrated with morning sickness. Try not to overeat to where your full or under eat to where there's nothing in your stomach, it's a very delicate balance. You can also try these little candies you can buy online preferably Amazon that helped to take the edge off for some people. They're called Prego drops.

That's really sweet of your boyfriend's mother to throw together a small gender party for you. I'm really glad you have their support and understanding. As for going back to school, just take one day at a time. There's always going to be people who are going to judge you, what's important though is that you focus on what matters the most to you and that's your little baby and your new little family. Having a child at a young age is really going to help you mature. Also it's very important to remember that no matter what happens in high school after that everything changes.


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## Sky0818

I'm 16 weeks...I'm due in February...the morning sickness just got really bad last week I had it in the beginning to but not as bad as now...I feel like I'm living off crackers and gingerale...my doctor said to try a few different things first like more breads and stuff before she prescribes anything...like I tried to eat dinner tonight my favorite chicken pam... it lasted all of 45 min and I was in the bathroom throwing it all up with Kaleb being sweet enough to hold my hair back for me...I'm cuddling with Kaleb for the night...or little gender reveal party is tomorrow I will let you all know the gender...still up for any other advice on this whole morning sickness thing...also why do they call it morning sickness of it last all day &#55358;&#56610;


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## ClairAye

I had the 'all day sickness' with my first but thankfully it tapered off at about 17 weeks. Lemonade, fizzy orange juice, oranges, extra strong mints, Haribo and salt and vinegar crisps helped ease it for me. My midwife suggested eating a square of chocolate before even getting out of bed. Smells were also a huge trigger for it so mouth breathing became second nature lol. I hope it eases up soon for you.


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## Kiwiberry

Yay for the gender party!!!!
I'm sorry I'm not much help when it comes to morning sickness, I had it really bad with my two girls but I'm having a hard time remembering exactly what I did to ease it. One thing I do remember was drinking a lot of Coke soda. There's actually an additive in it to prevent people from throwing up when they drink it because there's so much sugar, that really helped.


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## Sky0818

I'm still feeling sick but it's gotten a little better now it usually happens at noonish rather than all day so I get a little relief in the morning...we had our gender reveal and we found out that we are having a little girl...I am so excited we started getting things to make the guest room into a nursery and Kalebs parents have said that they will buy anything we need for the nursery...they even said that we can paint it any color that we want...was thinking of going with traditional pink but not sure any suggestions on color schemes for a little girl.


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## Kiwiberry

Congrats on the baby girl!! :pink:
That's really sweet of Kaleb's parents, they sound like amazing people. As for the room color, I would always choose pink because it's my favorite color :haha:. Purple and teal would look really nice too.


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## Sky0818

I kinda like the idea of purple and teal. I was thinking of doing something possibly with a light purple or lavander.


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## ClairAye

Congratulations on your little girl! It's great that his parents are helping out so much.

For colours I love purples/greens or pinks/blues/greens together. :)


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## hellohefalump

Congratulations darling!

I'm so pleased for you that your boyfriend's parents are being so good to you xx

My own daughter is 11 years old and I would hope if she was in your position I would react how kalebs parents are reacting. 

I was 21 when my daughter was born. I wasn't married, which is a big deal in my dad's culture (Chinese). I didn't even tell him I had 2 children until my daughter was 4yrs and my son was 1! I ended up telling him through a family friend and she spoke to him about cultural differences and he's a wonderful grandad now.


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## Kiwiberry

How are you feeling hun? Feeling lots of baby kicks now?


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## coquis224

I hope all is still going ok with you. Just stay positive and all will work out how it's supposed to.


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## Bevziibubble

Hoping everything is going well :)


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## mayacat

I'm so glad your boyfriend's family is awesome! I like to think that if my daughter got pregnant that young, I'd be as supportive as that. Really, it's the best thing to have family around you, whoever the family ends up being.

I hope the first couple of weeks back at school have gone well!


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## Sky0818

School has been really hard I'm just super tired all the time. Also it's getting really bother some that I can hear people whispering and talking about me all time. Like today I was in the bathroom when I heard 2 girls talking and they were saying how I'm going to be a horrible mom so young and that I must be a whore and probably dont evrn know who the father is. I literally started crying right then and there...I've been feeling the baby move a lot recently...Kaleb keeps trying to feel it but everytime he touches my belly to feel she stops moving...also my mom keeps calling Kalebs house and his phone trying to reach me since I changed my number. It's really taking a toll on me. Even though I know I have to keep her out of my life for now. I'm just feeling really down on myself.


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## Kiwiberry

:hugs: I know it's hard but try and ignore those kids. It will get better. None of their assumptions or opinions matter in the end. Especially once you're done with high school. How have the teachers been treating You? Maybe you can talk to the school counselor about how you're being treated? 

As for your mom, just keep ignoring her. There's no excuse for her enabling your father to treat you the way she did and kicking you out (which is illegal and the school is obligated to do something about it but I doubt they are). 

Glad your feeling lots of baby kicks!! Enjoy them, it's a special time! :cloud9:.


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## Bevziibubble

I'm so sorry you heard them talking so nastily about them. You will have the last laugh and prove them wrong :hugs:


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## Sky0818

Today I had to have a meeting with the school counselor because one of the parents in my school complained about them allowing a pregnant teen to attend the high school. I know this mom she is crazy religious and the school told her that regardless of her beliefs they cant kick me out of school for that. So the counselor wanted to make sure that I heard it from him first and not another student. It's hard talking to him about these things cause he is a guy and idk if he really gets it. Today Kaleb got into a fight as we were leaving school this upperclassman boy started making crude comments to me and at first we tried to ignore it waiting for our ride. But he just kept going and Kaleb lost it after he said that our baby would probably come out with a bunch of problems cause we are so young. Not that we wouldn't love our baby regardless but that's just not okay to say to someone. I'm seriously starting to think about just not going to school anymore. I know it wont stop them from talking but I wont have to hear it. I just dont know what to do anymore. It's also starting to get harder to sleep. Most of the teachers are great and understanding except one. Who literally said I front if the whole class just because I made a mistake and have to live with it doesnt mean that I should get any special treatment. She said this after I was late and brought a note from the nurse because I was puking in her office. Apparently that wasnt a good enough excuse for her.


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## Bevziibubble

I'm sorry that teacher was so rude :(


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## Kiwiberry

Wow...... that teacher seriously needs to shut up. She would never say that to one of her colleagues or co-workers, so why is it suddenly ok because you're 14? I'm so sorry people are treating you so badly. :hugs: Stay in school, keep your strength. That's what they want, for you to give up so they can talk more s#$%. Prove them wrong. By the way, babies born to young mothers actually have less of a chance to have "issues" than babies born to say a 35 year old. I'm sure your sweet baby girl is going to be just perfect :hugs:.

Is Kaleb ok?

By the way, religion doesn't mean anything. Just because they say their religious doesn't mean that they're of God. So many people get distracted by what the "church" teaches them when in reality it's the opposite of what is said in the Bible. Treat everyone with love and do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The beautiful baby girl that you're growing is no mistake. She is a beautiful miracle that should be cherished by everyone.


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## Chezzer

Where abouts do u live? Will u be housed by the government or any Thing and get help financially to support the baby. In the UK in England u get a social payment and child benefit and if your parents kick u out u can live in a mother and baby hostel until your 18 end they will try and house u.x


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## Kiwiberry

How are things going hun?


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## Bevziibubble

I hope you're OK :hugs:


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## Ersurgeongirl

I hope you’re okay.

If school is getting too difficult because the other kids are being assholes, as your guidance counselor or principal if they have an online HS program. Many school districts are moving to an online program for kids who physically can’t be in the school. Even if it’s an online GED program, it’s better than nothing. My husband has his GED and worked his butt off and now works at the headquarters of his company. If you work hard, you can succeed.


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## nic18

firstly congratulations on having a baby girl sooo exciting have you been thinking of names?
secondly do not let anybody at school other students or teachers bring you down in anything they say, there are worse things to happen to someone your age than falling pregnant. People need to keep their opinion and beliefs to themselves and understand your having this baby with or without them liking it and its none of the business what goes on in their life. 
so glad your boyfriends family have been so supportive to both of you, what a family should be they have accepted what is going on and making it an easy time for you that's so nice, have you completely stopped speaking to your mum? End of the day if you have this is your mums lose & it will be her losing precious time with her granddaughter and I can guarantee you when you have your beautiful daughter your mum will want to see you.
Hows the sickness are you feeling any better? I had terrible morning sickness and genuinely nothing I ate or done helped :(! Hope it has passed or passes soon 
x


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## mara16jade

How are you? Must be getting pretty close now. Best wishes! <3


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## Hope4today

Sky0818 said:


> My name is Skylar. I will be 15 in a few weeks and I'm about 3 months along in my pregnancy. I havent told my parents yet I've been hiding it but its getting harder to hide. I told my boyfriend and he wants me to tell my parents and his because we are going to need support I'm scared cause my sister got pregnant at 17 and my dad flipped out and kicked her out for 3 months he eventually came around but they always tell me to make better decisions than my sister. I want trying to get pregnant we used protection every time except one time we ran out of condoms and I figured one time wouldn't be a problem now I'm in this situation. I'm only gunna be a sophomore in hifmgh school how am I supposed to do this please any advice.

Oh sweety, I know this is a very scary time for you. So many decisions and emotions going on. Your parents love you. They will want to know. Do you have someone in your life that is a positive support that could be with you when you tell your parents? I was 16 and I took my sunday school teacher with me to tell my parents. You are not alone. Your parents have been through this, so give them some credit on how they will handle this. A baby brings a lot of joy into lives and you will be ok. You are strong and I am proud of you for reaching out. Can you just think about someone in your life that will be there to lend you support when you tell your parents? Also, have you thought about going to a crisis pregnancy center? They can give you all kinds of resources and let you know what is to come and how to handle everything. You be strong pretty girl and know that you are in my prayers.


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## Hope4today

Hope4today said:


> Oh sweety, I know this is a very scary time for you. So many decisions and emotions going on. Your parents love you. They will want to know. Do you have someone in your life that is a positive support that could be with you when you tell your parents? I was 16 and I took my sunday school teacher with me to tell my parents. You are not alone. Your parents have been through this, so give them some credit on how they will handle this. A baby brings a lot of joy into lives and you will be ok. You are strong and I am proud of you for reaching out. Can you just think about someone in your life that will be there to lend you support when you tell your parents? Also, have you thought about going to a crisis pregnancy center? They can give you all kinds of resources and let you know what is to come and how to handle everything. You be strong pretty girl and know that you are in my prayers.

I apologize, I did not see that you have told your parents. You are doing the right thing by going to a therapist. You need to have someone to talk to. Just listen to your therapist, they are trained professionals and your therapist will guide you in the right direction. We as humans all have different feelings and opinions. You stay strong and I am proud of you for reaching out and sharing. You are headed in the right direction. Prayers for you always


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