# Can I kiss my baby if I have cold sores?



## sparklythings

Hi I am sort of new to the forum. I read a lot of posts but rarely post myself. I started to try for a baby at the same time as my sistyer and last month I found out I was already 8 weeks along. I kept getting dark positve opks even after the day I thought I was ovulating and decided to test. Well now my sister is extrememly jealous I think. Today she has told me that I cannot kiss my baby on the face or lips ever when its born because I have cold sores. She said I'm going to end up giving my baby herpes and killing it and then she showed me all these terrible things online that say its true. Does anyone know much about cold sores and babies? A lot of people have cold sore and you don't hear about kids dying from it all the time. She was pretty mean about it now I feel like I can never kiss my baby. She says I will spread it to my baby even if I don't have a sore. Is this true? Someone help please I'm so upset.


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## Jslyn9996

I wouldnt let other ppl with cold sores kiss your baby.. But my mom is the queen of coldsores and she wouldnt let them stop her from kissing me when I was a baby.. And to this day I dont get them.. Id ask your dr. as that would probably be the truest. But I honestly think she was trying rain on your parade. Idk im no expert but I thats my opinion


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## vintagecat

Your sister is weird, no offense. :wacko:

As with any person who is sick, as in has a cold, flu, or cold sore...Kissing your baby on the mouth will make your baby become sick. It's an infection and it's better to be safe than sorry. My mom didn't kiss me on the lips as a baby. It was always on the cheek or the top of the head. Another reason to not kiss on the mouth is due to the bacteria in your mouth. It can give your baby gum disease before he/she even has teeth. 

I think if you know your health well and take care of yourself, baby will be safe. Just using caution while the baby develops their immune system is probably for the best. That being said, I'll probably sneak a few kisses, but be kicking myself if he/she catches anything from me.

https://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/health/coldsores/

https://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/dont_kiss_your_baby_on_the_mouth.html


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## daydreaming22

Its very rare for the virus to transmit when you do not have an active outbreak. It is possible to shed the virus without a sore..but VERY rare. If you dont have a sore you will be fine, kiss away! I would refrain while you are having an active outbreak though. If you have any questions ask your doc hun!


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## scarlett_s

Your sister is being mean and hurtful.

I would avoid kissing the baby if you have an active cold sore as yes this can spread it to others but if you have no cold sores then go ahead and kiss your baby. My mom also gets cold sores but she never kisses us or my DS when she has them and neither me or my sister or any of the grandkids have coldsores.


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## sparklythings

Thanks girls. Even though cold sores are not pleasant and I would never want to give them to my baby I am more worried about the way they could affect my baby's overall health. There are so many hororr stories online about what happens to babies kissed by those who have cold sores. Some kids die and other kids end up mentally disabled. I've been crying all night at the idea that my child will grow up with no kisses from mommy. I don't know if I'm more sad for myself or my baby. I also know that its not rare at all for peopke to have the virus and then shed it. That's how cold sores are spread. Nobody is going to kiss someone with an open sore on their mouth so shedders are the spreaders infortunately but I never knew it had such terrible affects on babies I didn't know a kiss could kill. I'm so sad right now I can't stop crying. My sister was being cruel but it turns out she is right.


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## socitycourty

You can still show your baby love even without kissing them if you have a cold sore. Don't let your sister get to you. It's better left as a question for your doctor. and congratulations!


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## sparklythings

socitycourty thank you. Its just so hard to know that if I kiss my baby I could kill him or her or give them coldsores forever. Online it says I can't kiss my baby anywhere not even on the hands. What do other moms with coldsores do?


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## Avalanche

My Oh gets cold sores, just don't kiss your LO when you have an active one. That's the only precaution you need to take, don't worry. :hugs:


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## sparklythings

Avalanche just looking at your avitar picture made me cry again. I don't want to take the chance because what if I'm a shedder? That's how people get the virus is from other people who don't know they have it because they shed and don't have other symptoms of it. This is such a terrible virus. I'm just so upest right now I can barely even breathe :(


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## lilpeeps

You CAN kill your baby if you have a cold sore and kiss your baby. It happened recently however as long as you dont kiss your baby when you have an outbreak you will be fine. 
Take lots of lysine!


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## sparklythings

Lilpeeps unfortunately what you and my sister say is correct. Its what I've been reading online and I can pass it to my baby without an outbreak. It took me 11 months to get pregnant and the last thing I want to do is kill my baby with a kiss. Its going to be hard. I'm just devasted hearing this news.


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## lilpeeps

Dont worry I get them too and Ive never passed it to my husband so if you're careful you will be ok. 
I seriously doubt you will pass it on if you kiss her when you dont have an outbreak.

It sux I know how you feel but I take Lysine every day and havent had an outbreak for years. as you get older the outbreaks lessen as well.:hugs:


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## sapphire20

It's highly unlikely to pass it to your baby when you dont have an active cold sore, if that was the case you would always be worrying and that's silly, my daughter didn't catch the cold sore virus as a baby but when she was two years old and no one we know has cold sores and she didnt go to nursery or a child minder so she picked it up from some other way than kissing! All you can do is not kiss your baby when the cold sore is there and just not worry!


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## sparklythings

Sapphire that's exactly what I mean. You can pass it to someone even if you don't get outbreaks. Because how else did your little one get it? That's how its passed around. From people who don't know they have it because they don't get outbreaks. 
You ladies are so kind. Lilpeeps thank you for being so sympathetic I really needed it I'm such a mess right now. I wonder if I can wear those pads that cover them when I get one after LO is here. Funny that you said her because I think I'm having a her too.


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## Ran

Don't kiss them when you actually have a cold sore, no, but if you don't have one then it's fine.

I've never heard of not being able to kiss a baby _ever_. Do you have a link to this information? A well-researched one, not just frightened people? I read about a death in the papers where the mother kissed the baby with the remnants of what she thought was an old cold sore - it wasn't. I've never passed the virus to my husband in over ten years, nor my son. It isn't passed if your lips are fine and you don't currently have an outbreak.


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## deafgal

I wouldn't do it. if you have active cold sore, he could get it too. even if he have been exposed. doctors would recommend you not to touch your eyes and such after touching your cold sores nor pick at it because it can spread. same with kissing your child. some children can't tolerate cold sores very well.


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## Tink84

I agree with others don't kiss your baby when you have an active outbreak.

Not sure of the truth etc in it but I know lots of people who never kiss a baby on the lips. Not sure of the real reason but they've often said it can spread germs etc to the baby. I too have only ever kissed babies on the cheek or forehead.

Also rather than listen to your sister why don't you seek medical advice on this and get the true facts. Also I would avoid google as you'll always get horror stories but they may just be that and not have the real truth and facts behind them


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## deafgal

Just to let you know, because you have been exposed to cold sores or HSV-1 before pregnancy and developed antibodies for it , it actually a good thing because the antibodies passed to your child give your child a better chance to fight it off if he was ever exposed to the virus (at least for 6 months, I think?) . Beside a lot of people have been exposed to HSV-1 and their child turn out fine.

https://www.optiderma.com/en/they-talk-about-it/skin-articles/do-most-people-get-cold-sores.html

https://health.nytimes.com/health/guides/disease/herpes-simplex/print.html 

https://emedicine.medscape.com/article/964866-overview


Still, if you have active sores, I would avoid sharing and kissing. if your sores is inactive, it should be fine but I would still avoid kissing on the mouth or eyes or sharing utensils (sp?) or food. as you never know you are about to have an outbreak (first sign of tingling) . Plus, other bacteria (especially those that can speed up teeth decay and gum diseases) and viruses you could share


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## Mamie

I am not trying to scare you, but I would consult your doctor. My cousins little baby was only 3 weeks old when someone with a coldsore kissed her. She ended up in intensive care for 6 weeks, very very ill with swelling in her brain due to the virus. I don't have cold sores so I don't know enough about it, but I do know that my little niece was incredibly ill. What others have said about 'active' coldsores may be true. Your doctor/midwife should be able to advise more about when you don't have an active cold sore. I really wish more people were aware of effects of the cold sore virus.


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## lindblum

I get cold sores. 

I got them in my 1st, 2nd and 4th pregnancies and i got one just before i went into labour with my first. I didn't kiss my first daughter until nearly two weeks after she was born. 
They are contagious and can kill babies, you just have to make sure you don't kiss your child while you are suffering from one and make sure you wash your hands if you touch it. 

I've also breastfed(while having a cold sore) both my children and not passed the virus to them. 

good luck x


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## Sommerfugl

There was something on TV ages ago about a baby that died as its mother got the coldsore either shortly before giving birth or afterwards.
But it was said, that if you've had coldsores either before you're pregnant or during pregnancy (can't remember which one) then your baby is not at risk as it'll have the antibodies. You said that you've suffered coldsores before getting pregnant so I am sure that your baby will be absolutely fine.

As the others have said, I wouldn't kiss your baby during an active outbreak, but when your mouth is clear I wouldn't worry about it. 

My mum suffers from coldsores and so do I. But luckily my 3 year old daughter has never had one. I do kiss her on the mouth often, but if I ever feel my mouth starting to tingle or if I have an active coldsore, I don't let her anywhere near my face.


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## petitpas

Your baby is actually going to be more immune to the cold sore virus than babies born to mothers who have never had a cold sore before and have no antibodies to pass on to their little ones.
The best thing you can do is feed your baby breastmilk for at least six weeks to make sure she gets all the antibodies she can whilst she is developing her own immune system.

I would try to avoid kissing your baby whilst with an active sore as the other ladies mentioned but if you look after yourself and try not to let yourself get run down then you shouldn't have them all the time.


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## moomin_troll

My dad kissed my sister when she was a baby when he had a cold sore...she's now 26 and suffers from them thanks to him.

Do not kiss a baby at all when u have one, it's not worth it and I think it's unfair


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## scotmum35

i wont be letting anyone kiss my baby on the mouth because of coldsores.i get them now and again my oldest son gets them when he gets ill and i think my mum can pass it on without coldsores actually present so i always re wash any cup or bit of cutlery she gives me when i go to her house.= so she deffo wont be kissing baby.


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## sparklythings

moomin_troll I agree it is selfish to kiss babies when you have coldsores. This is how I believe I got them even though my mom swears she never kissed us. Like scotmum says I don't think you need to have open sores to pass it along. Growing up my sister avoided me like the plague and would insist on soaking all dishes in bleach and then washing them in the dishwasher before she ate off them because she was so afraid of getting coldsores. Maybe ill do the same thing when LO gets here. I'm just still trying to get over not being able to kiss my precious baby. It will hurt but ill do it to make sure my baby doesn't get sick or get cold sores. Thanks everyone.


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## deafgal

i think your sister took it to extreme when washing dishes with bleach and rewashing them in a dishwasher and avoiding you like a plague.If anything, she could unknowingly had one and just happened to have very good immune system. If she have antibodies in her system, it is more likely she does have inactive HSV-1 in her body


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## sapphire20

sparklythings said:


> Sapphire that's exactly what I mean. You can pass it to someone even if you don't get outbreaks. Because how else did your little one get it? That's how its passed around. From people who don't know they have it because they don't get outbreaks.
> You ladies are so kind. Lilpeeps thank you for being so sympathetic I really needed it I'm such a mess right now. I wonder if I can wear those pads that cover them when I get one after LO is here. Funny that you said her because I think I'm having a her too.

I can't see how you can pass the virus when there is no active outbreak, my daughter may well have been playing in the park after a child with an active cold sore was there who had touched the swings and then my daughter has touched afterwards and maybe wiped her mouth etc, it happens! As a baby this won't happen! I really wouldn't worry just don't kiss them while you have a cold sore on your lips and you will be fine!


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## Tjkitty

My mum has them & kissed all of us! We survived!


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## moomin_troll

sparklythings said:


> moomin_troll I agree it is selfish to kiss babies when you have coldsores. This is how I believe I got them even though my mom swears she never kissed us. Like scotmum says I don't think you need to have open sores to pass it along. Growing up my sister avoided me like the plague and would insist on soaking all dishes in bleach and then washing them in the dishwasher before she ate off them because she was so afraid of getting coldsores. Maybe ill do the same thing when LO gets here. I'm just still trying to get over not being able to kiss my precious baby. It will hurt but ill do it to make sure my baby doesn't get sick or get cold sores. Thanks everyone.

My mum kissed my sister afew years ago and hen caught cold sores after years of dodging them lol
I remember when Zane was little my sister had one and kissed Zane without thinking, I almost hit her I was so mad but luckly Zane didn't catch them.

It's hard for my mum and sister to not kiss my boys but like uve said its not worth the risk.

I can't imagine not being able to kiss my babies because of this, good luck x


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## sparklythings

sapphire20 said:


> sparklythings said:
> 
> 
> Sapphire that's exactly what I mean. You can pass it to someone even if you don't get outbreaks. Because how else did your little one get it? That's how its passed around. From people who don't know they have it because they don't get outbreaks.
> You ladies are so kind. Lilpeeps thank you for being so sympathetic I really needed it I'm such a mess right now. I wonder if I can wear those pads that cover them when I get one after LO is here. Funny that you said her because I think I'm having a her too.
> 
> I can't see how you can pass the virus when there is no active outbreak, my daughter may well have been playing in the park after a child with an active cold sore was there who had touched the swings and then my daughter has touched afterwards and maybe wiped her mouth etc, it happens! As a baby this won't happen! I really wouldn't worry just don't kiss them while you have a cold sore on your lips and you will be fine!Click to expand...

Hi sapphire. From my understanding some peopke that have the virus on their mouths or the hsv virus on their genitals are shedders. This means they are very contagious at certain periods and are shedding the virus but do not have an outbreak. This is when they are able to spread it unkowingly. I'm not saying that you have coldsores unkowingly I'm saying it is possible for people to have the virus and spread it and not know it so it could be anyone in your childs life that passed it. You're right about play grounds and stuff. Its possible she could have got it from another child. 
Deafgal I told my sister she could have it and just never get breakouts. Those people can shed too I said. So she went to the doctor and got blood tests to show she was clean. She is really freaky about cold sores and hsv virus. A lot of people are. There are huge social stigmas about coldsores especailly when peopkle find out its hsv. I know my sister was trying to hurt my feelings but she is still right. If she wasn't trying to hurt my feelings she could have warned me in a caring way. I wonder how long the virus lives on things like cups and sawings at the playground. Is anyone getting more cold sores now that they are pregnant?


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## sparklythings

sapphire20 said:


> sparklythings said:
> 
> 
> Sapphire that's exactly what I mean. You can pass it to someone even if you don't get outbreaks. Because how else did your little one get it? That's how its passed around. From people who don't know they have it because they don't get outbreaks.
> You ladies are so kind. Lilpeeps thank you for being so sympathetic I really needed it I'm such a mess right now. I wonder if I can wear those pads that cover them when I get one after LO is here. Funny that you said her because I think I'm having a her too.
> 
> I can't see how you can pass the virus when there is no active outbreak, my daughter may well have been playing in the park after a child with an active cold sore was there who had touched the swings and then my daughter has touched afterwards and maybe wiped her mouth etc, it happens! As a baby this won't happen! I really wouldn't worry just don't kiss them while you have a cold sore on your lips and you will be fine!Click to expand...

Hi sapphire. From my understanding some peopke that have the virus on their mouths or the hsv virus on their genitals are shedders. This means they are very contagious at certain periods and are shedding the virus but do not have an outbreak. This is when they are able to spread it unkowingly. I'm not saying that you have coldsores unkowingly I'm saying it is possible for people to have the virus and spread it and not know it so it could be anyone in your childs life that passed it. You're right about play grounds and stuff. Its possible she could have got it from another child. 
Deafgal I told my sister she could have it and just never get breakouts. Those people can shed too I said. So she went to the doctor and got blood tests to show she was clean. She is really freaky about cold sores and hsv virus. A lot of people are. There are huge social stigmas about coldsores especailly when people find out its hsv. I know my sister was trying to hurt my feelings but she is still right. If she wasn't trying to hurt my feelings she could have warned me in a caring way. I wonder how long the virus lives on things like cups and sawings at the playground. Is anyone getting more cold sores now that they are pregnant?


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## sparklythings

sapphire20 said:


> sparklythings said:
> 
> 
> Sapphire that's exactly what I mean. You can pass it to someone even if you don't get outbreaks. Because how else did your little one get it? That's how its passed around. From people who don't know they have it because they don't get outbreaks.
> You ladies are so kind. Lilpeeps thank you for being so sympathetic I really needed it I'm such a mess right now. I wonder if I can wear those pads that cover them when I get one after LO is here. Funny that you said her because I think I'm having a her too.
> 
> I can't see how you can pass the virus when there is no active outbreak, my daughter may well have been playing in the park after a child with an active cold sore was there who had touched the swings and then my daughter has touched afterwards and maybe wiped her mouth etc, it happens! As a baby this won't happen! I really wouldn't worry just don't kiss them while you have a cold sore on your lips and you will be fine!Click to expand...


Hi sapphire. From my understanding some peopke that have the virus on their mouths or the hsv virus on their genitals are shedders. This means they are very contagious at certain periods and are shedding the virus but do not have an outbreak. This is when they are able to spread it unkowingly. I'm not saying that you have coldsores unkowingly I'm saying it is possible for people to have the virus and spread it and not know it so it could be anyone in your childs life that passed it. You're right about play grounds and stuff. Its possible she could have got it from another child. 
Deafgal I told my sister she could have it and just never get breakouts. Those people can shed too I said. So she went to the doctor and got blood tests to show she was clean. She is really freaky about cold sores and hsv virus. A lot of people are. There are huge social stigmas about coldsores especailly when people find out its hsv. I know my sister was trying to hurt my feelings but she is still right. If she wasn't trying to hurt my feelings she could have warned me in a caring way. I wonder how long the virus lives on things like cups and sawings at the playground. Is anyone getting more cold sores now that they are pregnant?


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## beth_terri

God how mean is your sister!! Im not an expert as never had a coldsore but my mum gets them alot. Id say just to use common sense and not kiss your baby if you have an active coldsore but any other time is fine! And just be cautious not to touch a coldsore without washing your hands immediately after. 
xx


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## pinklightbulb

:hugs: hun. I'm with all that say don't kiss baby if you have an active outbreak. My mum has always had coldsores but never kissed us when she had them and I've escaped them so far 25 years on :)


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## sparklythings

Here is something I found about hsv 1 & 2 and shedding and how it affects babies https://www.health.ny.gov/diseases/communicable/herpes/newborns/fact_sheet.htm


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## deafgal

(double post, didnt think it went through)


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## deafgal

Her kids would more likely have it bad (hospitalized)because she did not have the antibodies to protect them than your kids would (read the links I posted). So I wouldn't feel bad about having them. Its annoying though. Anyway, Because adults are sexual being, they thrive on human contact, so about 80%-90% (at least in the U.S.) have cold sores and I think it would be very hard for her to protect her kids from that. Just saying.

you should still avoid kissing and sharing though as you never know.


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## booflebump

The worst risk to baby is when you have a primary infection of the herpes virus ,whether it be on your mouth or your genitals. If you have had cold sores for a while, then a certain amount of antibodies will pass over to the baby, giving them some protection. Common sense dictates you wouldn't kiss a baby with a coldsore, but other than that, you can still kiss your baby. 70-80% of the adult population in the US alone have herpes, and it isn't a nation of people not kissing their babies. Your sister was very mean to say those things to you :hugs: :hugs:


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## sparklythings

Pinklightbulb and beth thank you so much girls. Its nice to have others to talk to. I usually just read things on here and don't post.


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## sparklythings

booflebump thank you. I love your avitar picture. I lived in Africa from the ege of 9 through 19. My parents worked there studying big cats and I love the bond the female animals have with their young it so magical. Ever since I saw that and many animals givibg birth I've always wanted to be a mon myself.


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## ms.hope

no pun intended but your sister needs HELP--Who says something like that to someone they love? kissing is not advised when someone has active cold sore present but all that extra stuff is out of the world and very rare.


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## sparklythings

Thanks everyone. Shelly is really mean (sister) but she was being honest. I won't be kissing my baby at all. I've came to terms with it since I made this post. Its just not worth any risk to me at all even if the only risk is my kid gets cold sores too. I have done a lot of reading about it and I have been very worried about it. Well I have learned enough so that I am sure I am making a good decision. I read that cold sore hsv1 is actually worse for babies than hsv2. I love my baby too much to risk it. Thanks to everyone who listed when I first made this post.


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## petitpas

Sparkly, that's a very sad decision to make!
Can't you just refrain from kissing when you have an active outbreak?
Remember that the majority of the population carry the cold sore virus so your child could just as well become infected by little friends at the nursery, love kisses etc...
Even if your child gets the virus (which will probably happen anyway) it doesn't mean that they will suffer like you do.
My mum has always suffered from cold sores. She refrains from kissing and sharing bottles or cups or anything like that when she has an active outbreak. My dad, my older sister and I don't suffer from cold sores at all, my little sister has had them very occasionally. In all likelihood most of us will carry the virus but it doesn't exactly infringe on our lives (just like you carry viruses and bacteria for all kinds of nasty illnesses around without falling sick).
Never being kissed by our mother, however, would surely have a much bigger influence on our lives! Can you imagine? I have to admit that I would feel very sorry for your child if you carried through with this and rather upset that you listened to your silly sister who doesn't know what she is talking about.
Do speak to your doctor or midwife about your fears and see what the qualified people say Xxx


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## Wildfire81

I think what some people do not know is that cold sores are herpes. It is an infection, and should definitely be discussed with your doctor.


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## sparklythings

Petitpas there are many other ways to show affection other than kissing. There are cultures where people don't kiss babies at all and those kids seem to come out just fine. Its not worth any risk to me and there are risks even though people don't think cold sores are a big deal. I have spoken to my doctor about this. He said there are people who shed the virus even if they do not get out breaks and that those are the people who are usually spreading it just as I already assumed. My doctor doesn't recommend people kissing babies at all coldsores or not. I would rather have an alive baby thana baby to kiss. I also do not want to spread it to my child so they don't have to go through the same thing. You also have to worry about transporting it gentially your whole life. Its just a big mess I don't want my baby to ever have to deal with. Thanks


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## petitpas

Hi sparkly, I'm glad you discussed it with your doctor. He/she would know better than most of us.
I'm sorry, reading back I think I sounded a bit judgemental. Not a good idea to write posts at 4am :blush: Apologies if there was any offense. I assumed you purely meant oral herpes which is very difficult to avoid contact with.
Even then, of course you can also show love without kissing and yes, your doctor will be the best person to advise :hugs:


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