# Mummy's with Special needs children, nursery advise please



## LaDY

Hi all 

I haven't posted in here for some time, the last time i did we were not sure if my daughter was displaying signs of neurological problems and as she was so young we were told to do the wait and see approach. She is not nearly 3 and despite speech therapy she hasn't made much progress however not so long ago we put her in a lovely preschool which she settled into very well. At this point we were feeling really positive as we noticed she has some odd behaviours however thought it was just her own little personality. 

The nursery we chose is a rather busy nursery with a lot of children and it has come to out attention that she is not showing good eye contact in this environment and is not progressing verbally and generally plays alone. The nursery have also expressed concerns regarding her development. She is a few months off 3 therefore i am paying for this out of my own pocket. 

My question is what type of nursery has helped your child? Am i better just taking her out and finding a smaller nursery where she will focus more? I am currently looking into private healthcare for her in order to see if she does have problems more than a speech delay, would my money be better spent their? Or would i be depriving her of being with other children? 

Your advise would really be appreciated, im at a loss and don't know whats best anymore. May i add she does love the nursery she goes to too. 

Thank you for reading xx


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## smurff

Hi, I always knew there was something not quite right with my daughter and when she was 3 we decided to send her to nursary to see if being with other children would help, I think she was only there a week when concerns were raised. 
She loved being around children but didn't know how to interact, had no eye contact, would play on her own didn't like noise and didn't talk alot. 
She was referred to a speech therapist and peadiatrion. To cut a very long story short after her peadiatrion visits we now know she is globally delayed with learning difficulties and sensory issues and speech delayed and possibly autistic (starting the testing process now), her speech therapist recommended a child development clinic, she referred us and the place looked great, I was very reluctant to send her because she loved nursary so much and had friends there. In the end we viewed the place and it seemed amazing. We took her to the child development center 3 days a week and the other 2 days to nursary. Her nursary had about 20 children and 3 teachers, the child development center had 4-5 children and 3 teachers and speech therapist and child physiologist. 
Sending her to the child development center was the best thing we have ever done, she had loads of one to one time and she started to interact with just 1 child at a time , her speech improved and her understanding as well. It worked out well because her time in the child development center was all play based but she was learning at the same time and when she went nursary she brought all that she learnt with her so she enjoyed nursary even more. I was lucky as we managed to get her the best of both worlds, we definitely felt she thrived more in a smaller setting. I wouldn't deprive her from being with other children as they learn alot from just watching other children. Maybe try to find out what your daughter's needs are first and go from there, if it's just speech delay being with lots of other children may help more, if she needs more help then go for a smaller setting where her needs will be met. As I say it was the best move we made, She's nearly 5 now and in a special needs school attached to a mainstream school and is doing amazingly well, we are so very proud of her.


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## LaDY

Thank you so much for taking your time to reply. Your reply really made my day believe it or not. You made me stop upsetting myself and understand that she is unique and if there is a issue i will support her reach her development goals in her own time. I cant thank you enough for making me feel more positive, i kept having tearful outburts which were getting boarder line unhealthy. 

Can i ask, when your daughter started Nursery what was the most significant difference you and the nursery saw between your daughter and other children? Was her behaviour different at nursery than it was at home with you? I find my daughter give me eye contact and talks to me which she does not do at nursery? xxx


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## smurff

Hi, thankyou for you very nice reply, I know what it's like to worry and have fits of crying. I always found talking to people on gear a great help so it's nice I can help someone back.
I suppose the significant difference we seen with other children was her speech, we found out at a later date that at the time she started nursery which was when she was 3yrs her speech was actually at a 12mths old stage, plus while all other children we're playing my daughter would just stand still and look at the floor. I always said my daughter had good eye contact so I was a bit surprised when nursery said to me that they thought she didn't. She would also say the few words she did know at home with me but she wouldnt talk at nursery at all. At that time I just put it down to shyness.
I love the fact my little princess is unique, she is the most caring and sweetest little girl, but shes also stubborn and very independent and likes things on her terms and I'm immensely proud that although she has her issues she won't be pushed around by anyone. If your daughter has issues then just take it day by day, that's what I do. Once you know what or if there is anything wrong then it gets so much easier. We've been on a long journey with my daughter getting her the correct diagnosis and getting her schooling correct but now I honestly can say I don't even notice there's anything different about her, she's my princess and I wouldn't change her for the world. 
And like you say of course you'd help your daughter reach her development goals, so what if she didn't reach them the same time as others, doesn't mean to say she won't reach them at all she just wants to do it her own way, and believe me when they reach those goals it makes it all the more special.


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## smurff

I forgot to say, the nursery my daughter went to was a good nursery and they tried to help her as best as they could, it was just with 3 teacher to 20+ children it was hard for them to give my daughter the attention she needed and it wouldn't have been fair to the other children to take a teacher away. Like I said my daughter loved nursery and she did learn alot there and we think it helped her more with learning how to socialise and interact where as the child development centre was more of an in depth learning. As I said before what I would do is find out what or if there are any issues with your daughter then you'll know the exact help she'd need, even if she did need more one to one help could she not attend a nursery part of the week?. I really hope everything works out for you and your daughter, I pop on this site most nights if you ever want to ask anything or just want to talk


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