# Porn.. ok to be hurt or overreacting?



## mumtobe15

So I was on my boyfriends laptop today and opened a new tab on his webpage, it brought up his most visited websites.. one of them was called porn hub.

I now feel really bad in myself for the fact he has to turn to porn for pleasure, all he does is call me fat and disgusting now so it really hurts that he is using porn, primary to the fact im doing everything i can for him to be pleasured, doing things that dont hurt me that he loves. I think that just because im pregnant doesnt mean i should be replaced by porn!

Am i overreacting? or do others feel the same, im so confused right now, is it ok for a boyfriend to use porn whilst we're pregnant ?


please help ):


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## lil_mama_415

this is weird but ive been on that sight unintenionally lol but its ok to be hurt but guys are pigs


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## AnnabelsMummy

ohh hun.. i wouldn't worry too much.. i think alot of women get upset by it.. 
but as long as he doesn't think it's what real life women are like, and that it's completely fake.. then maybe it's not a bad thing..
if he's not getting it from you (and i don't mean that in a horrid way at all hun!!), maybe he's turning to that.. which is way better than turning to another woman or something.. 

i think my initial reaction would be the same as yours hun.. but then i'd think well if he wants to watch that rubbish he can.. as long as he doesn't expect me to be like that! 

as for calling you fat and disgusting :hugs: that's not on.. you need to speak to him, and tell him maybe how he's making you feel..
i think maybe he's not replacing you with porn.. he's just replacing the something he's not getting at the moment.. if you get what i mean? 

don't take it personally.. but deffinatly have a chat with him - he might not realise it upsets you etc.. to boys it's nothing.. because they don't see as other women.. iykwim?
x


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## jemmie1994

oh hunni :hugs: all lads look at porn at some point is just what they do :shrug: its not real dont be so upset about it


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## Chelsea.ann1

What a jerk.. for calling you those things when the fact your carrying his child makes you one of the most beautiful creatures walking this earth right now. period.

i know alot of women would say don't worry to much.. it's just porn.. he's a guy.. blah blah blah..

but i think i'm a feminist, i take STRONG offense to those things. it's degrading to all women kind and betrays all the strong women in the world that worked hard and risked their lives to prove we're equal and not just sex objects.

i feel a man in a commited relationship should have the power to resist temptation of that sort. it's wrong, hurtful, and imo a definite form of cheating. to me it says i'm not enough.. to satisfy him.. or not enough for him to control himself.. to me it says he needs wants and still craves other women. wrong.

i'm also a strong christian. a man is to honor and appreciate his wife not degrade and betray her. same with women.

i don't tolerate porn AT all. same with disrespect from a man. none. ever. 

that's NOT the way love is meant to be and it NEVER ends well.

you deserve better hun. way better.


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## beanzz

Woah, he's calling you fat and disgusting?! How dare he! He has no reason to be calling you that even if you were 40 weeks pregnant, even if you weren't even pregnant and just chubby he should be the one person who loves how you look no matter how you look. Sorry he's turning to porn, id feel offended. I'd confront hm and ask him why, it could be innocent but he still sounds like a bit of a loser to me be ause of what he calls you, just being honest :flower:


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## mayb_baby

A Lot of people get upset by porn to be honest I am Ok with porn I mean OH knows we don't all have the cash to look that good and I know he is happy with me 

When me and OH got into fights he would call me fat and disgusting even now which is not on it took me to leave him and show him what having a baby in a spilt relationship would be like and neither of us were happy but he did a complete U turn on sooo many of his issues. However I get the odd 'fat mess' thrown in, if there is a heated row. Which I usually start as I have horrid mood swings atm.

My OH watches porn well sexcetera :haha: and I have no problem gives us new ideas for the bedroom :winkwink: Try watch something tasteful together and see how he reacts I mean it's not reality it's not like cheating.

I wouldn't take it too personally it means nothing it's not reality remember that :)


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## x__amour

Honey, I would be more hurt about what he's calling you! That's NOT right. :xmas18:

I have a lot of issues with porn. DH knows this and doesn't watch it. He doesn't care for it anyways. But to answer your question, yes. I would be extremely devastated if I found DH watching porn. :nope:


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## snowfia

I had quite a big argument with OH about him watching porn, mainly because of how I felt about myself at the time and him looking at skinny, naked girls didn't help at all. I don't agree with it anyway, the only person you should be looking at like that is your OH IMO. 

And as for him calling you fat and disgusting, that's horrible and he should no way in hell do that, especially when you're pregnant. You need to talk to him about that.


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## AirForceWife7

I'm so sorry :hugs:

I personally would be devastated if I ever caught DH watching porn behind my back. It would make me feel awful about myself & that I wasn't good enough for him :shrug: That's just how I feel though.

The bigger problem IMO is that he's calling you fat & disgusting? WTAF. You're carrying his child, & if he is calling you fat & disgusting he is also calling his child names too. You should say that to him. See how it makes him feel, then maybe he can take a freaking step in your shoes instead of running his mouth to bring you down.

I'd have a nice long talk with him if I were you :hugs:


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## mumtobe15

Chelsea.ann1 said:


> What a jerk.. for calling you those things when the fact your carrying his child makes you one of the most beautiful creatures walking this earth right now. period.
> 
> i know alot of women would say don't worry to much.. it's just porn.. he's a guy.. blah blah blah..
> 
> but i think i'm a feminist, i take STRONG offense to those things. it's degrading to all women kind and betrays all the strong women in the world that worked hard and risked their lives to prove we're equal and not just sex objects.
> 
> i feel a man in a commited relationship should have the power to resist temptation of that sort. it's wrong, hurtful, and imo a definite form of cheating. to me it says i'm not enough.. to satisfy him.. or not enough for him to control himself.. to me it says he needs wants and still craves other women. wrong.
> 
> i'm also a strong christian. a man is to honor and appreciate his wife not degrade and betray her. same with women.
> 
> i don't tolerate porn AT all. same with disrespect from a man. none. ever.
> 
> that's NOT the way love is meant to be and it NEVER ends well.
> 
> you deserve better hun. way better.




Thanks, I just dont get why he's done it as ive found out before and told him how it makes me feel, it makes me feel worthless because i do so much for him and its like im not good enough, I can't stand porn and dont see the point of it, if your in a good relationship why use porn? Thanks XX


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## mumtobe15

beanzz said:


> Woah, he's calling you fat and disgusting?! How dare he! He has no reason to be calling you that even if you were 40 weeks pregnant, even if you weren't even pregnant and just chubby he should be the one person who loves how you look no matter how you look. Sorry he's turning to porn, id feel offended. I'd confront hm and ask him why, it could be innocent but he still sounds like a bit of a loser to me be ause of what he calls you, just being honest :flower:

The main reason it hurts from him calling me fat and disgusting is because when i was younger bullies called me that and i ended up having an eating disorder blahblah and was a size 6 when getting pregnant, even now im not huge, people find it hard to believe im 30 weeks, many guess from my size that im around 15/16 weeks, before ive asked him about it cause ive caught him before i was pregnant and he said he felt like i wasnt giving 'him it' enough, so i tried to do everything i wanted to, porn's just degrading ): thanks XX


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## mumtobe15

x__amour said:


> Honey, I would be more hurt about what he's calling you! That's NOT right. :xmas18:
> 
> I have a lot of issues with porn. DH knows this and doesn't watch it. He doesn't care for it anyways. But to answer your question, yes. I would be extremely devastated if I found DH watching porn. :nope:

Ive been with him over a year and im only 16 and he's my first serious relationship, i just cant deal with the taunts or the fact he finds porn more satisfying than me, i do all i can to make him happy without sex ( i dont like the idea of doing it in pregnancy, just a phobia ) but thanks XXX


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## mumtobe15

snowfia said:


> I had quite a big argument with OH about him watching porn, mainly because of how I felt about myself at the time and him looking at skinny, naked girls didn't help at all. I don't agree with it anyway, the only person you should be looking at like that is your OH IMO.
> 
> And as for him calling you fat and disgusting, that's horrible and he should no way in hell do that, especially when you're pregnant. You need to talk to him about that.

i guess most men do, do it but i wonder if they know exactly how it makes us feel? even telling him before and now he does it again when im pregnant, mens minds seem so complicated and he comments on how better they would be to 'fuck' than me, men seem to be jerks :/ XXX


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## mumtobe15

AirForceWife7 said:


> I'm so sorry :hugs:
> 
> I personally would be devastated if I ever caught DH watching porn behind my back. It would make me feel awful about myself & that I wasn't good enough for him :shrug: That's just how I feel though.
> 
> The bigger problem IMO is that he's calling you fat & disgusting? WTAF. You're carrying his child, & if he is calling you fat & disgusting he is also calling his child names too. You should say that to him. See how it makes him feel, then maybe he can take a freaking step in your shoes instead of running his mouth to bring you down.
> 
> I'd have a nice long talk with him if I were you :hugs:

Thats exactly how i feel :/ ikr! its not like i am fat, or disgusting, i still fit into 16 year old jeans which are still big on me and thats near 30 weeks! ive tried that but he doesnt seem to care, he's excited for this pregnancy and the baby, but ready totear me down along the way ,thanks :flower: <3


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## mayb_baby

mumtobe15 said:


> beanzz said:
> 
> 
> Woah, he's calling you fat and disgusting?! How dare he! He has no reason to be calling you that even if you were 40 weeks pregnant, even if you weren't even pregnant and just chubby he should be the one person who loves how you look no matter how you look. Sorry he's turning to porn, id feel offended. I'd confront hm and ask him why, it could be innocent but he still sounds like a bit of a loser to me be ause of what he calls you, just being honest :flower:
> 
> The main reason it hurts from him calling me fat and disgusting is because when i was younger bullies called me that and i ended up having an eating disorder blahblah and was a size 6 when getting pregnant, even now im not huge, people find it hard to believe im 30 weeks, many guess from my size that im around 15/16 weeks, before ive asked him about it cause ive caught him before i was pregnant and he said he felt like i wasnt giving 'him it' enough, so i tried to do everything i wanted to, porn's just degrading ): thanks XXClick to expand...

:hugs::hugs::hugs:You poor girl, if it's that bad babe it wouldn't be porn I would be worrying about I would be telling him where he can go. 
He has some serious growing up to do if he wants to be ready for you'r relationship to frow with a baby as it's alot harder to row with a child as it effects them:hugs::hugs:


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## snowfia

mumtobe15 said:


> snowfia said:
> 
> 
> I had quite a big argument with OH about him watching porn, mainly because of how I felt about myself at the time and him looking at skinny, naked girls didn't help at all. I don't agree with it anyway, the only person you should be looking at like that is your OH IMO.
> 
> And as for him calling you fat and disgusting, that's horrible and he should no way in hell do that, especially when you're pregnant. You need to talk to him about that.
> 
> i guess most men do, do it but i wonder if they know exactly how it makes us feel? even telling him before and now he does it again when im pregnant, mens minds seem so complicated and he comments on how better they would be to 'fuck' than me, men seem to be jerks :/ XXXClick to expand...

Yeah, but it doesn't make it right. My OH explained to me how it's all just a visual thing for him, but no matter what he says, I still think it's wrong, and as far as I know he hasn't watched it since. Which is what your OH should do if you've told him how it makes you feel =/
He should NOT say that to you at all, that's completely out of order. Sorry, but he does sound like a jerk :nope: and I don't mean this to sound mean, but you deserve so much better hun :hugs: xxx


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## mumtobe15

mayb_baby said:


> mumtobe15 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> beanzz said:
> 
> 
> Woah, he's calling you fat and disgusting?! How dare he! He has no reason to be calling you that even if you were 40 weeks pregnant, even if you weren't even pregnant and just chubby he should be the one person who loves how you look no matter how you look. Sorry he's turning to porn, id feel offended. I'd confront hm and ask him why, it could be innocent but he still sounds like a bit of a loser to me be ause of what he calls you, just being honest :flower:
> 
> The main reason it hurts from him calling me fat and disgusting is because when i was younger bullies called me that and i ended up having an eating disorder blahblah and was a size 6 when getting pregnant, even now im not huge, people find it hard to believe im 30 weeks, many guess from my size that im around 15/16 weeks, before ive asked him about it cause ive caught him before i was pregnant and he said he felt like i wasnt giving 'him it' enough, so i tried to do everything i wanted to, porn's just degrading ): thanks XXClick to expand...
> 
> :hugs::hugs::hugs:You poor girl, if it's that bad babe it wouldn't be porn I would be worrying about I would be telling him where he can go.
> He has some serious growing up to do if he wants to be ready for you'r relationship to frow with a baby as it's alot harder to row with a child as it effects them:hugs::hugs:Click to expand...

The thing that infuriates me the most is that we said we'd go into this pregnancy together and be there for each other, even for when he freaks out and up untill recently we have, i dont know if the taunts and thing he's saying are his way of getting a reaction out of me so he gets some more attention, but all my attentions on him at the moment, he does and ive told him it, he just doesnt seem to listen D: :flower:


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## mumtobe15

snowfia said:


> mumtobe15 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> snowfia said:
> 
> 
> I had quite a big argument with OH about him watching porn, mainly because of how I felt about myself at the time and him looking at skinny, naked girls didn't help at all. I don't agree with it anyway, the only person you should be looking at like that is your OH IMO.
> 
> And as for him calling you fat and disgusting, that's horrible and he should no way in hell do that, especially when you're pregnant. You need to talk to him about that.
> 
> i guess most men do, do it but i wonder if they know exactly how it makes us feel? even telling him before and now he does it again when im pregnant, mens minds seem so complicated and he comments on how better they would be to 'fuck' than me, men seem to be jerks :/ XXXClick to expand...
> 
> Yeah, but it doesn't make it right. My OH explained to me how it's all just a visual thing for him, but no matter what he says, I still think it's wrong, and as far as I know he hasn't watched it since. Which is what your OH should do if you've told him how it makes you feel =/
> He should NOT say that to you at all, that's completely out of order. Sorry, but he does sound like a jerk :nope: and I don't mean this to sound mean, but you deserve so much better hun :hugs: xxxClick to expand...


He promised me before he wouldnt watch it, even as i was in tears talking to him about it tonight he just blew me off and said i was been pathetic and that i was the one who needed to grow up! Thats what my whole family have said to me because theyve heard him say things to me, its hard to know what to do :flower:


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## snowfia

mumtobe15 said:


> snowfia said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mumtobe15 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> snowfia said:
> 
> 
> I had quite a big argument with OH about him watching porn, mainly because of how I felt about myself at the time and him looking at skinny, naked girls didn't help at all. I don't agree with it anyway, the only person you should be looking at like that is your OH IMO.
> 
> And as for him calling you fat and disgusting, that's horrible and he should no way in hell do that, especially when you're pregnant. You need to talk to him about that.
> 
> i guess most men do, do it but i wonder if they know exactly how it makes us feel? even telling him before and now he does it again when im pregnant, mens minds seem so complicated and he comments on how better they would be to 'fuck' than me, men seem to be jerks :/ XXXClick to expand...
> 
> Yeah, but it doesn't make it right. My OH explained to me how it's all just a visual thing for him, but no matter what he says, I still think it's wrong, and as far as I know he hasn't watched it since. Which is what your OH should do if you've told him how it makes you feel =/
> He should NOT say that to you at all, that's completely out of order. Sorry, but he does sound like a jerk :nope: and I don't mean this to sound mean, but you deserve so much better hun :hugs: xxxClick to expand...
> 
> 
> He promised me before he wouldnt watch it, even as i was in tears talking to him about it tonight he just blew me off and said i was been pathetic and that i was the one who needed to grow up! Thats what my whole family have said to me because theyve heard him say things to me, its hard to know what to do :flower:Click to expand...

You're not pathetic at all.
You just need to have a serious talk with him about how he's treating you. I hope everything turns out ok :hugs: xxx


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## Kaisma

I dont like my OH watching porn. not that he does that. I feel offended and that Im not enough and that he rather watch those skinny girls having sex than my body. MY ex even wanted to watch porn while we had sex... it was horrible feeling! 
And what comes to calling names... my OH has called me some pretty bad names too... i hate it. its just disgusting when they do that. and upsets a lot :(


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## beanzz

mumtobe15 said:


> beanzz said:
> 
> 
> Woah, he's calling you fat and disgusting?! How dare he! He has no reason to be calling you that even if you were 40 weeks pregnant, even if you weren't even pregnant and just chubby he should be the one person who loves how you look no matter how you look. Sorry he's turning to porn, id feel offended. I'd confront hm and ask him why, it could be innocent but he still sounds like a bit of a loser to me be ause of what he calls you, just being honest :flower:
> 
> The main reason it hurts from him calling me fat and disgusting is because when i was younger bullies called me that and i ended up having an eating disorder blahblah and was a size 6 when getting pregnant, even now im not huge, people find it hard to believe im 30 weeks, many guess from my size that im around 15/16 weeks, before ive asked him about it cause ive caught him before i was pregnant and he said he felt like i wasnt giving 'him it' enough, so i tried to do everything i wanted to, porn's just degrading ): thanks XXClick to expand...

aw hun im sorry to hear about that :hugs: he is being exactly like those bullies, its disgusting behavior and he needs to grow up. he's going to be a dad yet he cant even treat you right whilst his child is growin inside you :nope: its quite sad really. :hugs: how much does he want it? jeez :huh: my OH gets NONE and hasn't done for months, im actually surprised he hasn't started looking at porn! but he cant be saying things like he's not getting it enough, he's just got his girlfriend pregnant and that is what's bothering him? :dohh: wow. just wow. you deserve sooo much better hun, i really hope he grows up and becomes the man he needs to be for yours and LOs sake :flower: xxx


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## TTCBean

Chelsea.ann1 said:


> What a jerk.. for calling you those things when the fact your carrying his child makes you one of the most beautiful creatures walking this earth right now. period.
> 
> i know alot of women would say don't worry to much.. it's just porn.. he's a guy.. blah blah blah..
> 
> but i think i'm a feminist, i take STRONG offense to those things. it's degrading to all women kind and betrays all the strong women in the world that worked hard and risked their lives to prove we're equal and not just sex objects.
> 
> i feel a man in a commited relationship should have the power to resist temptation of that sort. it's wrong, hurtful, and imo a definite form of cheating. to me it says i'm not enough.. to satisfy him.. or not enough for him to control himself.. to me it says he needs wants and still craves other women. wrong.
> 
> i'm also a strong christian. a man is to honor and appreciate his wife not degrade and betray her. same with women.
> 
> i don't tolerate porn AT all. same with disrespect from a man. none. ever.
> 
> that's NOT the way love is meant to be and it NEVER ends well.
> 
> you deserve better hun. way better.

Agree with you 100%!


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## TabbyCakes

Porn has upset since before i waws pregnant now if i catch him we are done i see it as cheating.


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## ChesMik4eva

Porn is a personal choice. I personally don't mind it and me and my OH watch it together and it's fun. We even make our own. :winkwink:

But we've been together for 2 years and are totally secure and know that it's just a fantasy. 

If my boyfriend actually had a low opinion of women I wouldnt be with him. It's just a fantasy, and I think if you're in a healthy monogamous relationship there's nothing wrong with exploring each other's fantasies. It's for the bedroom and that's where it stays. It's a private thing and in my opinion there's nothing wrong with that. 

But I understand some women find it offensive and that's their personal choice. 

As for calling you fat there's no excuse. That's absolutely disgusting and a terrible thing to say to a woman, especially if you're pregnant with his child. 

In my opinion if you're boyfriend is calling you fat and then watching thinner girls have sex in pornos and making you feel bad then you shouldn't be with him and that's your call.


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## youngmummy94

I HATE porn. It makes me feel horrible, especially with how those girls look, and how I look after having a baby.

You should talk to him about it and tell him how you feel.


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## BeckiiAndBump

I can completely understand why you're upset but boys will be boys. 
Try to think about it in a different way - that he doesn't want to keep pestering you for sex. 
Pregnancy is just as hard for men as it is us, so don't be too harsh on him, but I understand why you're hurt. xx


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## kittycat18

The porn thing, no. Me and my OH enjoy porn.

I would be more upset about how he is speaking to you. No-one deserves to be treated like that. Have you spoken to him about how it makes you feel when he calls you these things? x


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## missparker

If he calls you fat ad ugly he doesnt deserve you! You look beautiful in your picture and he should be telling you!
As for porn, Sad truth is all guys look at it, Its a fantasy type thing, Wanting what they cant have, Have you ever looked at a celebrity and thought you wish you could spennd just one night with them? Haha, Its like that xx


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## blamesydney

What he's calling you is really upsetting. My FOB says things like that jokingly to me, and he just doesn't understand that it really hurts me. Have you explained to him that it hurts your feelings?


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## samisshort

Hon just by looking at your picture you are NOT ugly and fat. You're gorgeous and you're carrying a beautiful baby inside you! Your OH is so mean for telling you those things. I would tell him how it makes you feel, and remind him that you're carrying his child so when he calls you ugly and fat, he's also calling his child that. Don't let it get to you!

As for the porn thing, I think it's a matter of your personal preference. Some women don't mind and even watch with their OH's, while others are offended and think it's wrong. If you think it's wrong and hurts you, you're not wrong for that! Definitely bring it up with your OH.

Me personally, I'm like you. Since being pregnant my sex drive has just disappeared. My poor OH hasn't gotten anything from me since I've been pregnant. (except for the exception of like, 3 times total) but he also knows how I feel about him watching porn. It makes me feel less beautiful to him. And he knows it and respects that. If he wants to masturbate that's fine with me, I just don't want him looking at thin naked girls, while doing it. I'd feel betrayed if I caught him doing it. We're both 16 by the way.

Just tell your OH how you feel about it, and if he loves you and respects you, he _will_ respect your opinion and he will stop doing it. Just be honest :hugs:


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## QuintinsMommy

The porn thing doesnt bother me.. but the names he is calling you is awful!! I would be soo hurt if someone was calling me those things :( :hugs:


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## trinaestella

I wouldn't mind my boyfriend watching porn, infact I think most boys do but the name-calling is just waaay out of order!


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## mumtobe15

snowfia said:


> mumtobe15 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> snowfia said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mumtobe15 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> snowfia said:
> 
> 
> I had quite a big argument with OH about him watching porn, mainly because of how I felt about myself at the time and him looking at skinny, naked girls didn't help at all. I don't agree with it anyway, the only person you should be looking at like that is your OH IMO.
> 
> And as for him calling you fat and disgusting, that's horrible and he should no way in hell do that, especially when you're pregnant. You need to talk to him about that.
> 
> i guess most men do, do it but i wonder if they know exactly how it makes us feel? even telling him before and now he does it again when im pregnant, mens minds seem so complicated and he comments on how better they would be to 'fuck' than me, men seem to be jerks :/ XXXClick to expand...
> 
> Yeah, but it doesn't make it right. My OH explained to me how it's all just a visual thing for him, but no matter what he says, I still think it's wrong, and as far as I know he hasn't watched it since. Which is what your OH should do if you've told him how it makes you feel =/
> He should NOT say that to you at all, that's completely out of order. Sorry, but he does sound like a jerk :nope: and I don't mean this to sound mean, but you deserve so much better hun :hugs: xxxClick to expand...
> 
> 
> He promised me before he wouldnt watch it, even as i was in tears talking to him about it tonight he just blew me off and said i was been pathetic and that i was the one who needed to grow up! Thats what my whole family have said to me because theyve heard him say things to me, its hard to know what to do :flower:Click to expand...
> 
> You're not pathetic at all.
> You just need to have a serious talk with him about how he's treating you. I hope everything turns out ok :hugs: xxxClick to expand...

tried talking to him aagin tonight, he just doesnt care, men! gahk XXX


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## mumtobe15

Kaisma said:


> I dont like my OH watching porn. not that he does that. I feel offended and that Im not enough and that he rather watch those skinny girls having sex than my body. MY ex even wanted to watch porn while we had sex... it was horrible feeling!
> And what comes to calling names... my OH has called me some pretty bad names too... i hate it. its just disgusting when they do that. and upsets a lot :(






I understand what your saying completely, how we feel we're not enough because they can lower themselves to watch slutty girls doing things with guys, its horrible.

I dont think boys realise what they say hurts us, or what they do hurts us, its bad enough been called names and it makes us feel like they dont want us, its horrible :/


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## mumtobe15

beanzz said:


> mumtobe15 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> beanzz said:
> 
> 
> Woah, he's calling you fat and disgusting?! How dare he! He has no reason to be calling you that even if you were 40 weeks pregnant, even if you weren't even pregnant and just chubby he should be the one person who loves how you look no matter how you look. Sorry he's turning to porn, id feel offended. I'd confront hm and ask him why, it could be innocent but he still sounds like a bit of a loser to me be ause of what he calls you, just being honest :flower:
> 
> The main reason it hurts from him calling me fat and disgusting is because when i was younger bullies called me that and i ended up having an eating disorder blahblah and was a size 6 when getting pregnant, even now im not huge, people find it hard to believe im 30 weeks, many guess from my size that im around 15/16 weeks, before ive asked him about it cause ive caught him before i was pregnant and he said he felt like i wasnt giving 'him it' enough, so i tried to do everything i wanted to, porn's just degrading ): thanks XXClick to expand...
> 
> aw hun im sorry to hear about that :hugs: he is being exactly like those bullies, its disgusting behavior and he needs to grow up. he's going to be a dad yet he cant even treat you right whilst his child is growin inside you :nope: its quite sad really. :hugs: how much does he want it? jeez :huh: my OH gets NONE and hasn't done for months, im actually surprised he hasn't started looking at porn! but he cant be saying things like he's not getting it enough, he's just got his girlfriend pregnant and that is what's bothering him? :dohh: wow. just wow. you deserve sooo much better hun, i really hope he grows up and becomes the man he needs to be for yours and LOs sake :flower: xxxClick to expand...



its just dickish, and ive heard he's been cheating on me with this girl, who is really skinny and pretty, to log onto facebook today to see them really pressed up close to each other! And the fact he's been putting me down so much just really makes me feel worthless. Ive tried to leave him before but i love him too much, im just hoping when LO's born he'll grow up and hope these rumours aint true, but thanks :) :flower: xxxx


----------



## mumtobe15

TabbyCakes said:


> Porn has upset since before i waws pregnant now if i catch him we are done i see it as cheating.

Agree with you there! xxx


----------



## TabbyCakes

mumtobe15 said:


> TabbyCakes said:
> 
> 
> Porn has upset since before i waws pregnant now if i catch him we are done i see it as cheating.
> 
> Agree with you there! xxxClick to expand...

He didnt get it at first but we have fought about it so many times he stopped when we found out about the baby which i know is hard on him cause i havent wanted to do anything. but he doesnt want to not have his kid and me and he knows i will leave now.


----------



## mumtobe15

blamesydney said:


> What he's calling you is really upsetting. My FOB says things like that jokingly to me, and he just doesn't understand that it really hurts me. Have you explained to him that it hurts your feelings?


Ive told him it hurts, he doesnt care, he's constantly putting me down but now there's more 'wrong with me' he cant help himself :/ xx


----------



## TabbyCakes

mumtobe15 said:


> blamesydney said:
> 
> 
> What he's calling you is really upsetting. My FOB says things like that jokingly to me, and he just doesn't understand that it really hurts me. Have you explained to him that it hurts your feelings?
> 
> 
> Ive told him it hurts, he doesnt care, he's constantly putting me down but now there's more 'wrong with me' he cant help himself :/ xxClick to expand...

honestly and i know this isnt my place but he sounds like a piece of shit to me :blush: I hope things get better for you sweetie


----------



## mumtobe15

samisshort said:


> Hon just by looking at your picture you are NOT ugly and fat. You're gorgeous and you're carrying a beautiful baby inside you! Your OH is so mean for telling you those things. I would tell him how it makes you feel, and remind him that you're carrying his child so when he calls you ugly and fat, he's also calling his child that. Don't let it get to you!
> 
> As for the porn thing, I think it's a matter of your personal preference. Some women don't mind and even watch with their OH's, while others are offended and think it's wrong. If you think it's wrong and hurts you, you're not wrong for that! Definitely bring it up with your OH.
> 
> Me personally, I'm like you. Since being pregnant my sex drive has just disappeared. My poor OH hasn't gotten anything from me since I've been pregnant. (except for the exception of like, 3 times total) but he also knows how I feel about him watching porn. It makes me feel less beautiful to him. And he knows it and respects that. If he wants to masturbate that's fine with me, I just don't want him looking at thin naked girls, while doing it. I'd feel betrayed if I caught him doing it. We're both 16 by the way.
> 
> Just tell your OH how you feel about it, and if he loves you and respects you, he _will_ respect your opinion and he will stop doing it. Just be honest :hugs:

Thanks, that really means a lot! He's always put me down with snidey little comments but tis just getting worse now and if i try talk to him he just doesnt listen or doesnt care, if i cry in front of him he tells me to man up, so many people have told me to leave him because of numerous things :/

I agree with you there, i dont mind him masturbating, every guy does it, but to porn, i just cant see whats there? Thankss :kiss: XXX


----------



## mumtobe15

TabbyCakes said:


> mumtobe15 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> TabbyCakes said:
> 
> 
> Porn has upset since before i waws pregnant now if i catch him we are done i see it as cheating.
> 
> Agree with you there! xxxClick to expand...
> 
> He didnt get it at first but we have fought about it so many times he stopped when we found out about the baby which i know is hard on him cause i havent wanted to do anything. but he doesnt want to not have his kid and me and he knows i will leave now.Click to expand...


Thanks for everything you've said :) He still doesnt understand, even tonight he's made so many jokes about it and even said ' cause i wont be getting it off you tonight i know where i'll be going' hes a knob tbh :/ XXXX


----------



## xSarahM

Like other girls have said - porn has no right/wrong answer. Some girls see it as cheating, some don't mind and take a kind of 'boys will be boys' attitude towards it. I'll be the first to put my hands up and say I watched it with an ex once. But that was years ago, when I had less respect for myself. Now i've grown up, and i've realised that i should be my man's number one priority. He shouldn't feel like he needs porn when he has me. Those girls on the screen, with their fake hair, make-up, fake boobs and fake moans, really? If he wants to waste his time on them, then he shouldn't get any time with a real woman like me, IMO.

With the name-calling, i'd honestly tell you to get out of that relationship. I've been around abusive relationships. They first start with him maybe looking at another woman's bum when he walks past her on the street? Then he's telling you that you've put on weight, or you should dye your hair a certain colour. Then he tells you to 'man uo' when he's behaving unacceptable towards you. It just gets worse and worse.

If you stay with him, your child is going to grow up thinking its okay to treat you, and other people around them the same way. If you have a boy, your son is going to think its okay to treat women badly. If you have a daughter, she's going to think its okay to be treated badly by other men. And you never know, your child may even get treated badly by their father. I've gone into a huge rant, and i apologise, but its not only you that is going to get hurt in it. Although, neither you nor your baby need someone so disrespectful and undeserving.


----------



## TabbyCakes

mumtobe15 said:


> TabbyCakes said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mumtobe15 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> TabbyCakes said:
> 
> 
> Porn has upset since before i waws pregnant now if i catch him we are done i see it as cheating.
> 
> Agree with you there! xxxClick to expand...
> 
> He didnt get it at first but we have fought about it so many times he stopped when we found out about the baby which i know is hard on him cause i havent wanted to do anything. but he doesnt want to not have his kid and me and he knows i will leave now.Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Thanks for everything you've said :) He still doesnt understand, even tonight he's made so many jokes about it and even said ' cause i wont be getting it off you tonight i know where i'll be going' hes a knob tbh :/ XXXXClick to expand...

Mine doesnt have the balls to make jokes i have some seriously built up hormonal rage and he does not want to f**k with me


----------



## sarahsmith199

i dont have a problem with porn. i would never watch it though, i think its ok as long as you know about it. As long as he isnt keeping it secret! and as long as he isnt using it as a replacement for sex. I would feel horrible if he went to watch it instead of sleeping with me.


----------



## WantingABubba

mumtobe15 said:


> So I was on my boyfriends laptop today and opened a new tab on his webpage, it brought up his most visited websites.. one of them was called porn hub.
> 
> I now feel really bad in myself for the fact he has to turn to porn for pleasure, all he does is call me fat and disgusting now so it really hurts that he is using porn, primary to the fact im doing everything i can for him to be pleasured, doing things that dont hurt me that he loves. I think that just because im pregnant doesnt mean i should be replaced by porn!
> 
> Am i overreacting? or do others feel the same, im so confused right now, is it ok for a boyfriend to use porn whilst we're pregnant ?
> 
> 
> please help ):

Hey sweetie, hope you're okay :hugs:

First of all, I'll say that you're more than entitled to be upset. You're entitled to your feelings so *hugs*

I, personally, don't have a problem with porn. Me and OH watch it together sometimes, and I watch it by myself quite regularly (TMI :haha:). I totally understand people's reasons against it, though I don't really fall for the feminist's perspective of it, but I don't like most feminist's views, as I find most of THEM sexist. But ANYWAY.

I understand why this, along with how your OH treats you, is the tipping point. To be honest, I think the main issue here is his disrespect and abuse of you, rather than the porn.

No one should be calling you names, least of all your OH, ESPECIALLY when you're carrying his child. I think you should sit down and have a real think about this relationship. Are you happy? Are you okay with staying with a man who puts you down? Do you want your child being parented by someone who feels no way to put you down?

I think you also need support - we on the forum are here for you, there's helplines you can call, and try and draw on those close to you for support.

I think you should get out of this relationship as soon as you can. You've spoken to him, and he hasn't changed, so he's lost his chance.

Whatever you do, I'm just a PM away :hugs:

Sorry you're going through this :nope: 

Take care xxxxx


----------



## beanzz

mumtobe15 said:


> its just dickish, and ive heard he's been cheating on me with this girl, who is really skinny and pretty, to log onto facebook today to see them really pressed up close to each other! And the fact he's been putting me down so much just really makes me feel worthless. Ive tried to leave him before but i love him too much, im just hoping when LO's born he'll grow up and hope these rumours aint true, but thanks :) :flower: xxxx

You seriously need to have words with him hun and let him known if he carries on he's going to lose you. You can't keep living like this, it's not a healthy environment to bring a child into :nope: I would try and ignore rumours, it's usually jealous people stirring sh*t! I wouldnt stress about that too much unless things start to get very suspicious because you don't need that stress :) :flower: x


----------



## MommaAlexis

WantingABubba you took the words right out of my mouth! I really don't have even a slight issue with porn, and it has nothing to do with low self esteem, I just find it funny and we mute it and narrate it ourselves, or fast forward it. We do our porn game at least once a week! Haha. But he in no way should speak to you like that for ANY REASON. I told my hubby the pregnancy made me gain weight, he said it was the washing machines fault for making my clothes shrink! DARN SKIPPY IT IS ! When you're pregnant, you can be thirty weeks along and when you ask if you've gotten fat they should say no! Or if you're the comedic kind like me, sometimes it's fun to hear a "Big like a moving fan!"


----------



## xxchloexx

I remember i seen porn on my Ohs computer.. It was a link to the Kim Kardashian sex tape.. I was so upset , I didnt no how to say it to him. I was upset all day and finally just said "Why do you want to watch her am i not enough for you" He was sooo defensive like no no stop of course you are one of the boys sent me that I didn go looking for it..

I told him it made me feel really horrible and has promised he wont do it again, 
I know he doesnt cause his laptop broke like a year ago so he uses mine and theres never any there ... 

Although the porn thing is an issue for many couples , i do think hes wayyyyy out of order calling you fat! Thats disgusting your carrying his baby ffs.. I would leave OH for sure if he called me anything like that xx


----------



## Momma2bee93

My fiance says you are not over reacting hes just being a pig.


----------



## amygwen

He should not be calling you fat and disgusting. That is HORRIBLE. Emotional abuse.

About the porn thing, I wouldn't worry about it. I watch porn and my OH watches porn, we still like having sex with each other but sometimes like to have fun on our own. If it bothers you that much though I would talk to him about it. But really, he should not be calling you fat and disgusting.


----------



## Melibu90

Personally the porn thing doesnt bother me, my OH does it sometimes, we've watched it together and i like some stories :blush:

But the insults are out of order you should never feel like that when carry the best gift to him you can :hugs:


----------



## mumtobe15

xSarahM said:


> Like other girls have said - porn has no right/wrong answer. Some girls see it as cheating, some don't mind and take a kind of 'boys will be boys' attitude towards it. I'll be the first to put my hands up and say I watched it with an ex once. But that was years ago, when I had less respect for myself. Now i've grown up, and i've realised that i should be my man's number one priority. He shouldn't feel like he needs porn when he has me. Those girls on the screen, with their fake hair, make-up, fake boobs and fake moans, really? If he wants to waste his time on them, then he shouldn't get any time with a real woman like me, IMO.
> 
> With the name-calling, i'd honestly tell you to get out of that relationship. I've been around abusive relationships. They first start with him maybe looking at another woman's bum when he walks past her on the street? Then he's telling you that you've put on weight, or you should dye your hair a certain colour. Then he tells you to 'man uo' when he's behaving unacceptable towards you. It just gets worse and worse.
> 
> If you stay with him, your child is going to grow up thinking its okay to treat you, and other people around them the same way. If you have a boy, your son is going to think its okay to treat women badly. If you have a daughter, she's going to think its okay to be treated badly by other men. And you never know, your child may even get treated badly by their father. I've gone into a huge rant, and i apologise, but its not only you that is going to get hurt in it. Although, neither you nor your baby need someone so disrespectful and undeserving.

Thanks, reading this really makes it hit home a lot more, thats its not only me been affected,, but my child is going to end up been affected too, thanks <3:flower:


----------



## bellasMommy18

I know how you feel my fiance did the same thing! I use his phone for the internet and when i saw recent/most visited sites there was a bunch of porn! but i confronted him and said how it made me feel and he stopped. Jst talk to him.


----------



## YoshiPikachu

I wouldn't know how to feel about the porn becuase my boyfriend doesn't watch porn, but the name calling isn't right!


----------



## parisa

mumtobe15 said:


> So I was on my boyfriends laptop today and opened a new tab on his webpage, it brought up his most visited websites.. one of them was called porn hub.
> 
> I now feel really bad in myself for the fact he has to turn to porn for pleasure, all he does is call me fat and disgusting now so it really hurts that he is using porn, primary to the fact im doing everything i can for him to be pleasured, doing things that dont hurt me that he loves. I think that just because im pregnant doesnt mean i should be replaced by porn!
> 
> Am i overreacting? or do others feel the same, im so confused right now, is it ok for a boyfriend to use porn whilst we're pregnant ?
> 
> 
> please help ):

I am sorry for this.....but WHAT A PIECE OF LIVING TRASH HE IS FOR CALLING U THOSE NAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How dare he? I bet u look absolutely stunnign honey. Your biggest concern should not be porn, but it should be his verbal abuse. How dare he, seriously?
You are not fat, u r carying his baby and ur damn hot! He is just trash for calling u that.
Ssecondly, I would be upset too if my bf or husband watches porn, but i cnanot tell u enough how normal that is. Men are pigs and that is what they do darling. My husband was watching it the other day right in fromt of me.....and yes, it hurt my feelings. I want u to know that he is not replacing u with anything, he just wants to get his rocks off......and that is what men do....all of them. However, it is very normal to be hurt. In the end, he is with u, isn't he????? If u don't like it, do what i did, tell him that it is very disrespectful for him to watch these whores when he has u!!!
Now, what r u gonna do with his putdowns????? I am concerened about that? Next time he opens his trash mouth, u tell him that u know that ur the most beautiful girl in the world and that he can go and fuck himself!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next, tell him if hes so upset with ur weight gain, then get the fuck out.
Darling, just becuz ur probably young and he is ur baby daddy, does not mean that u have to put up with anything. Maybe ur showing him that ur sefl confidence is low, and he is taking advantage of that???? Let him know that u think the world of urself and pretty soon he will shit his trap.
I am here for u,
Parisa


----------



## mumtobe15

bellasMommy18 said:


> I know how you feel my fiance did the same thing! I use his phone for the internet and when i saw recent/most visited sites there was a bunch of porn! but i confronted him and said how it made me feel and he stopped. Jst talk to him.

Thanks :) Have tried this again and he's slowly starting to listen but he still did it last night, im hoping he will see my point of view soon!


----------



## mumtobe15

parisa said:


> mumtobe15 said:
> 
> 
> So I was on my boyfriends laptop today and opened a new tab on his webpage, it brought up his most visited websites.. one of them was called porn hub.
> 
> I now feel really bad in myself for the fact he has to turn to porn for pleasure, all he does is call me fat and disgusting now so it really hurts that he is using porn, primary to the fact im doing everything i can for him to be pleasured, doing things that dont hurt me that he loves. I think that just because im pregnant doesnt mean i should be replaced by porn!
> 
> Am i overreacting? or do others feel the same, im so confused right now, is it ok for a boyfriend to use porn whilst we're pregnant ?
> 
> 
> please help ):
> 
> I am sorry for this.....but WHAT A PIECE OF LIVING TRASH HE IS FOR CALLING U THOSE NAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> How dare he? I bet u look absolutely stunnign honey. Your biggest concern should not be porn, but it should be his verbal abuse. How dare he, seriously?
> You are not fat, u r carying his baby and ur damn hot! He is just trash for calling u that.
> Ssecondly, I would be upset too if my bf or husband watches porn, but i cnanot tell u enough how normal that is. Men are pigs and that is what they do darling. My husband was watching it the other day right in fromt of me.....and yes, it hurt my feelings. I want u to know that he is not replacing u with anything, he just wants to get his rocks off......and that is what men do....all of them. However, it is very normal to be hurt. In the end, he is with u, isn't he????? If u don't like it, do what i did, tell him that it is very disrespectful for him to watch these whores when he has u!!!
> Now, what r u gonna do with his putdowns????? I am concerened about that? Next time he opens his trash mouth, u tell him that u know that ur the most beautiful girl in the world and that he can go and fuck himself!!!!!!!!!!!!
> Next, tell him if hes so upset with ur weight gain, then get the fuck out.
> Darling, just becuz ur probably young and he is ur baby daddy, does not mean that u have to put up with anything. Maybe ur showing him that ur sefl confidence is low, and he is taking advantage of that???? Let him know that u think the world of urself and pretty soon he will shit his trap.
> I am here for u,
> ParisaClick to expand...

Thanks, I will do that next time he says something like that to me, im just trying so hard to make things work, ive spoke to him about the porn several times and he is listening more and more now but he's still putting me down just as he puts his mum down, his mum says its because his dad brought him up that way, i dont want my baby to see it that way, i will one day finally get the confidence and hit back at him, thanks :) XXXX:flower:


----------



## WantingABubba

MommaAlexis said:


> WantingABubba you took the words right out of my mouth! I really don't have even a slight issue with porn, and it has nothing to do with low self esteem, I just find it funny and we mute it and narrate it ourselves, or fast forward it. We do our porn game at least once a week! Haha. But he in no way should speak to you like that for ANY REASON. I told my hubby the pregnancy made me gain weight, he said it was the washing machines fault for making my clothes shrink! DARN SKIPPY IT IS ! When you're pregnant, you can be thirty weeks along and when you ask if you've gotten fat they should say no! Or if you're the comedic kind like me, sometimes it's fun to hear a "Big like a moving fan!"

*Edit*.


----------



## stephx

*Every man watches porn*, its hilarious to think some girls beleive they're blokes dont watch it :rofl:

My OH is wayy too open about what he watches :roll: buuttt, it doesnt mean you're not enough for him, or he wants something else.

The name calling, however, is disguisting.. you shouldnt put up with that x


----------



## mayb_baby

stephx said:


> *Every man watches porn*, its hilarious to think some girls beleive they're blokes dont watch it :rofl:
> 
> My OH is wayy too open about what he watches :roll: buuttt, it doesnt mean you're not enough for him, or he wants something else.
> 
> The name calling, however, is disguisting.. you shouldnt put up with that x

My OH is way too open with what he watches too :haha:


----------



## Soon2BeMommyy

try not to take it personally girl , alot of guys watch porn , but as for him calling yu fat.? that's not right at all.! yu need to have a long talk with him


----------



## stephx

mayb_baby said:


> stephx said:
> 
> 
> *Every man watches porn*, its hilarious to think some girls beleive they're blokes dont watch it :rofl:
> 
> My OH is wayy too open about what he watches :roll: buuttt, it doesnt mean you're not enough for him, or he wants something else.
> 
> The name calling, however, is disguisting.. you shouldnt put up with that x
> 
> My OH is way too open with what he watches too :haha:Click to expand...

:rofl: Im glad he's not the only one! I guess we should feel loved that they feel comfortable enough not to be embarrassed but still :sick: guys are gross


----------



## mayb_baby

stephx said:


> mayb_baby said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> stephx said:
> 
> 
> *Every man watches porn*, its hilarious to think some girls beleive they're blokes dont watch it :rofl:
> 
> My OH is wayy too open about what he watches :roll: buuttt, it doesnt mean you're not enough for him, or he wants something else.
> 
> The name calling, however, is disguisting.. you shouldnt put up with that x
> 
> My OH is way too open with what he watches too :haha:Click to expand...
> 
> :rofl: Im glad he's not the only one! I guess we should feel loved that they feel comfortable enough not to be embarrassed but still :sick: guys are grossClick to expand...

Tbh I don't mind some of it but some is vile :sick:


----------



## mommytobe19

im deffo against it!! to me its the same as cheating... they are getting pleasure by watching another naked woman?? im havent got low esteem either im acctualy the opposit but i stil feel this way. I think when you are with some one and you love them you wouldnt want or need to "get off" on someone else!! iv allready explained how i feel about this which he said hes never been into it anyway (dunno wether i bleav that lol)and wether he chooses to do otherwise that will be his loss because i wont be putting up with that. He can have dirty porn or me and his baby but not both!! 

But the way hes speaking to you hun is not right!! i have also been in an abusive relationship with my ex of 3years.. and although it never got physical the words were just as bad! you have got a baby to think about now and i know its easy for me to say but things wont get any better trust me they will only get worse so i think you should realy think about wether you should be with him and bring a baby up around it. 
xxxxx


----------



## parisa

how has it been for u lately, any more verbal abuse?


----------



## nicoleJOLIE

my OH has a shitload of porn on his phone :dohh: 
doesnt bother me , lol i watch it too so i really couldnt say anything :blush: 


but as for the names? he deserves a swift kick in the nuts :finger: ! He should not be talking to you like that and girl i bet you're beautiful as can be - plus you're the closest thing to God to him , you're giving HIM his childs life .... I'd personally leave him until he smartened the F up!!!! :gun:


----------



## KiwiMOM

Whoa, not every man watches porn. Not trying to start an argument or anything but that is a terrible generalisation. 

Also some people are ok with porn and some are not, I am not and my OH is learning this the hard way ATM. If it's a no go in your relationship (like it isn't in mine) then thats that. No compromising. I definitely feel your pain as me and my OH have just gone through a similar issue. I didn't read the whole thread because it was posted a long time ago and just wanted to see why it had cropped up recently but I hope you guys are doing better, he obviously hasn't been treating you very well :-/


----------



## parisa

Kiwimom, u just wrote exactly what I was gonna write!
I cannot believe that someone just wrote that every man watches porn and that its hilarious how some girls believe that their men don't watch it. THAT IS SO UNTRUE!
It is safer to say and truer to say that every man has watched porn at some point in their life-time, but does not mean that they continually do it, or they continue to do it.
As for me, the last time that my husband did it, I let him know that it is somewhat disrespectful to me, and that was that. I am ready to bet my babie's life that he has not watched it since. How am I so sure? Cuz my hubby is more of a home body. He owns his own business, it s a granite , and all of ourshop, with no computers or electronics. Our friends are all husbands and wives. He is not interested in hanging with the guys. We socialize together all the time. When he is not at work, he is a home.
To be honest, I am okay with porn if the two of us are trying to watch it before we DTD just to spice things up....once in a blue moon. However, i think it is pathetic how some men just sit there with porn and jack off to it....kinda desperate, and I cannot believe how some women are okay with that. However, that is just my opinion, and everybody is different. 
But to say that every man does it is kinda pathetic!

Cheers ladies!


----------



## B l i n k

Chelsea.ann1 said:


> What a jerk.. for calling you those things when the fact your carrying his child makes you one of the most beautiful creatures walking this earth right now. period.
> 
> i know alot of women would say don't worry to much.. it's just porn.. he's a guy.. blah blah blah..
> 
> but i think i'm a feminist, i take STRONG offense to those things. it's degrading to all women kind and betrays all the strong women in the world that worked hard and risked their lives to prove we're equal and not just sex objects.
> 
> i feel a man in a commited relationship should have the power to resist temptation of that sort. it's wrong, hurtful, and imo a definite form of cheating. to me it says i'm not enough.. to satisfy him.. or not enough for him to control himself.. to me it says he needs wants and still craves other women. wrong.
> 
> i'm also a strong christian. a man is to honor and appreciate his wife not degrade and betray her. same with women.
> 
> i don't tolerate porn AT all. same with disrespect from a man. none. ever.
> 
> that's NOT the way love is meant to be and it NEVER ends well.
> 
> you deserve better hun. way better.


Finally someone who thinks the exact same as me.
I dunno why women are so accepting of porn - it seemed as though I was the only one who had a problem if my partner was to watch it.

I fully agree with you. 
You couldn't have said it better.
:thumbup:


----------



## BethHx

A few months ago i went onto my boyfriends history & found that he'd been on porn everyday & he would even go home just to go on it & it broke my heart, we had a brilliant sex life & there was no reason for him to go on it.
Now when ever he goes home i hate it as i know he is going to be watching porn & it puts such a downer on our relationship as it is perfect apart from that.
I think we just need to understand that all lads do it & it doesnt mean they dont want us, or love us etc x


----------



## MaybeP

Omg I much prefer my OH watch porn than bug me! I just can't be bothered for anything sexual lately so when he attempts I usually tell him to just go watch porn ahaha

Of course when I'm making an effort sexually I would prefer him not to watch it but most men know that its not real, thats not what sex should be like and they would PREFER to be having sex with you than jerking it to porn.


----------



## stephx

parisa said:


> Kiwimom, u just wrote exactly what I was gonna write!
> I cannot believe that someone just wrote that every man watches porn and that its hilarious how some girls believe that their men don't watch it. THAT IS SO UNTRUE!
> It is safer to say and truer to say that every man has watched porn at some point in their life-time, but does not mean that they continually do it, or they continue to do it.
> As for me, the last time that my husband did it, I let him know that it is somewhat disrespectful to me, and that was that. I am ready to bet my babie's life that he has not watched it since. How am I so sure? Cuz my hubby is more of a home body. He owns his own business, it s a granite , and all of ourshop, with no computers or electronics. Our friends are all husbands and wives. He is not interested in hanging with the guys. We socialize together all the time. When he is not at work, he is a home.
> To be honest, I am okay with porn if the two of us are trying to watch it before we DTD just to spice things up....once in a blue moon. However, i think it is pathetic how some men just sit there with porn and jack off to it....kinda desperate, and I cannot believe how some women are okay with that. However, that is just my opinion, and everybody is different.
> But to say that every man does it is kinda pathetic!
> 
> Cheers ladies!

Hardly pathetic tbh :coffee:

Every man I know watches porn, most girls do too, its completly normal 

Theres a history delete button for a reason :thumbup:


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## stephx

And girls if he tells you he doesnt, he is lying...


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## beanzz

^ Lol my man wouldn't get time to watch porn he works 43 hours a week and spends the rest of his time with me or on his skateboard. Not saying he's never watched porn... Almost everyone, man or woman, must have watched porn :haha: but id deffo believe my OH if he told me he doesnt watch porn now :shrug:


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## stephx

Mine works 50 hours a week and still finds time :haha:

Nah in all honesty its mainly the joke ones he watches, like the 'porn gone wrong' and stuff like that :roll: 

He doesnt spend all his time jacking off to it lol but im defiantly aware he does :lol:


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## youngmummy94

My OH works all week.. has no internet or phone so I highly doubt he has any time to look at it or any means of looking at it either :haha:


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## beanzz

That's the best porn :haha: Me and an ex used to search for all the funny ones. 
I think porn itself is fine but whilst I'm pregnant I've found I'm suddenly even more insecure about my body so I'd be convinced he found me unattractive if he started watching it. 
As soon as I'm skinny again and get my sex drive back I'll probably be the one watching it :rofl:


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## mayb_baby

My OH doesn't 'jack off' to it as he likes the real thing :winkwink: but he likes porn and I have no problem with it I mean it's a screen and he's watching 'sexual intercourse' between men and women. I would be worried if he wanted to watch animal porn or broke back mountain :haha:


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## sophiafoxhill

He calls you fat and disgusting? That's not nice at all :( He's bang out of order! I'd say that's more disrespectful than the porn hun. You're having this guys baby, you need to stand up for yourself and tell him he can't treat you like that! :(

Me and my bf have a very, very high sex drive and active sex life but I know he still looks at porn because I too saw it on his history. But it doesn't bother me :)


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## KiwiMOM

what ever works for your relationship, but I still don't think it's right to say that every man watches it. I'm not ok with it and I'm not about to become ok with it because other people think it is :shrug:


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## parisa

stephx said:


> parisa said:
> 
> 
> Kiwimom, u just wrote exactly what I was gonna write!
> I cannot believe that someone just wrote that every man watches porn and that its hilarious how some girls believe that their men don't watch it. THAT IS SO UNTRUE!
> It is safer to say and truer to say that every man has watched porn at some point in their life-time, but does not mean that they continually do it, or they continue to do it.
> As for me, the last time that my husband did it, I let him know that it is somewhat disrespectful to me, and that was that. I am ready to bet my babie's life that he has not watched it since. How am I so sure? Cuz my hubby is more of a home body. He owns his own business, it s a granite , and all of ourshop, with no computers or electronics. Our friends are all husbands and wives. He is not interested in hanging with the guys. We socialize together all the time. When he is not at work, he is a home.
> To be honest, I am okay with porn if the two of us are trying to watch it before we DTD just to spice things up....once in a blue moon. However, i think it is pathetic how some men just sit there with porn and jack off to it....kinda desperate, and I cannot believe how some women are okay with that. However, that is just my opinion, and everybody is different.
> But to say that every man does it is kinda pathetic!
> 
> Cheers ladies!
> 
> Hardly pathetic tbh :coffee:
> 
> Every man I know watches porn, most girls do too, its completly normal
> 
> Theres a history delete button for a reason :thumbup:Click to expand...

Well, if every single man that u know watches porn, then u probably only associate with losers (oops)!
I never said its not normal, I said that not all men in the world watch it.
Yep, there is a history delete button, but I have 100% complete trust in my hubby. That history delete button is for losers who lie to their wives, who sit there and jack off to get their nasty rocks off.....could we say damn desperate? Yep!!!!!!!!!!!And I bet u those losers are also those pathetic fucks who go and pay crack whores for a $5 blow job. My husband has the personality to be honest even though he knows it will actually upset me, than to lie to me. If he wants to watch it, he does it in front of me. Like I said before, he used to....and I let him know it is disrespectful, and that was that! I have the best sex life ever, its kinky and damn hot! Thank you very much! my hubby aint using it......
I just believe that women who say: all men in the world watch it....blah blah blah haave forced themselves to think that way cuz they have no choice. 
But, I must say that there are men who actually have respect for their wives and listen to their wives desires. If the wife says no porn, then NO PORN.....and no sweetie, they aint pressing the delete history button like some losers. 
I just wish women would have a little more respect for themselves and not allow their men to replace them with whores. Cuz that is what waqtching porn is....basically. 
Then again, that is completely my opinion, I understand that other women will have their own thoughts in regards to being degraded...


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## stephx

:rofl: your post has made my day 

Im sorry but i can only imagine you are an insecure woman :shrug: porn is not sinister.. its not just for losers... and it certainly doesnt compare to actually hiring a prostitute! That is ACTUAL cheating- there is a difference :winkwink: being paranoid that your husband must be comparing you to these 'fanatasy' woman and is cheating makes you insecure (oops)

My OH can watch a bit of porn without having to sneak around, and im not bothered in the slightest. It doesnt make my relasionship any worse than yours and certainly doesnt degrade me.. I guess were just more open and honest with eachother


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## beanzz

LOL. I wouldn't go as far as to say women who let their OHs watch porn don't respect themselves :wacko: 

Trust this to be a post that gets out of hand :dohh: srsly.


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## stephx

beanzz said:


> LOL. I wouldn't go as far as to say women who let their OHs watch porn don't respect themselves :wacko:
> 
> Trust this to be a post that gets out of hand :dohh: srsly.

Exactly :dohh: 

The awkward moment when someone compares watching porn to going and paying crack whores for a $5 blow job 

:dohh: :dohh: :dohh:


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## parisa

stephx said:


> :rofl: your post has made my day
> 
> Im sorry but i can only imagine you are an insecure woman :shrug: porn is not sinister.. its not just for losers... and it certainly doesnt compare to actually hiring a prostitute! That is ACTUAL cheating- there is a difference :winkwink: being paranoid that your husband must be comparing you to these 'fanatasy' woman and is cheating makes you insecure (oops)
> 
> My OH can watch a bit of porn without having to sneak around, and im not bothered in the slightest. It doesnt make my relasionship any worse than yours and certainly doesnt degrade me.. I guess were just more open and honest with eachother

I really don't give a rat's hole what u imagine me as sweetie!
I am more than secure not becuz I have been raised to be, but becuz I am damn hot baby....yeah....I am not this ugly troll who is threatened by other bitches. I consider myself super beautiful.
I guess my OH has a little more respect for me!
But my God, don't hate me for it!!!


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## parisa

beanzz said:


> LOL. I wouldn't go as far as to say women who let their OHs watch porn don't respect themselves :wacko:
> 
> Trust this to be a post that gets out of hand :dohh: srsly.

Not all of them, like I said....I have watched porn with my OH and it was enjoyable......once in a while. The ones that in my opinion don't respect themselves are the ones whose husband watch it 24/7 and jack off to it.
However, that is my opinion.....anybody who is educated knows that everybody is entitled to their own opinion....right?


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## stephx

But if you were 'damn' hot and not threatened then why would it bother you? You said before he actually likes to watch it..


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## parisa

beanzz said:


> ^ Lol my man wouldn't get time to watch porn he works 43 hours a week and spends the rest of his time with me or on his skateboard. Not saying he's never watched porn... Almost everyone, man or woman, must have watched porn :haha: but id deffo believe my OH if he told me he doesnt watch porn now :shrug:

Exactly! This is exactly the case for me too! Everybody has done it at some point or another.....which is quite normal. However, my hubby works 15 hours a day....and when he aint at work, he is at home with me. I trust my life that he does not lie about it.


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## parisa

stephx said:


> But if you were 'damn' hot and not threatened then why would it bother you? You said before he actually likes to watch it..

In my opinion porn is okay if u watch it with ur mate. Like we do........
we actually watched some last month and had awsome sex right after.......
However, it depends on 'how' it is being used. If my hubby is sitting there, storking his rocks and hoping to jack off to porn....yeah that bothers me. Why? becuz of the disrespect. Purely out of disresepect.
I think it is disrespectful for him to jack off to the sight of other whores spreading their legs.
I totally know that even when men get excited with porn it is becuz of the action of sex and not becuz they wanna do the girl.
But, when ur in a commited relationship, and u say u have respect for ur girl, then there i no reason why u shoudl get excited with other people going at it.
And, if I was to be threatened by women, I would definitely never be threatened by the gals in porn, have u not noticed that they are not even average looking. Some of them are quite nasty lookin actually.
I am the kinda wife who encourages her husband to go out, do this and hang out with friends.....only he refuses.....so if I was insecure, I would try and lock him up at home.


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## bbyno1

Im sure all men will or have watched porn before.
A crime?No.
There is a HUGE difference between watching porn,and cheating. I don't even see how they can be put in the same catagory to be honest!
You can be as beautiful as you want,and your partner can/will still watch it. Not because they are anything more special than you but that's just men for you!
I don't really like the thought of my OH watching it but it won't ruin our relationship. It's just a bit of fun for him at the end of the day. Im sure alot of us women who slate men for doing it have watched it at some point in our lifes ourselfs.
Doesn't mean you don't find your partner attractive or anything like that.

To OP-Sorry your partner has called you horrible names. Now thats not on:hugs:


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## KiwiMOM

I still see no one disagreeing with my statement that it really depends what is ok in your relationship. Can we leave it at that? There really is no point arguing because there is no such thing as one size fits all in a relationship and everyone has different boundaries.


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## mommytobe19

WOW looks like this is a touchy subject! lol

I think men who acctualy "toss off" when they have a OH are either not satisfied in the bedroom or are just JERKS full stop..

Why would you want to watch porn when you have a partner who you are in love with and who you are happy with sexualy?? 

If i ever caught my OH watching porn then yh i would say i would feel pretty insecure because id be thinking whys he watching that and not getting on me?? lol and if i werent there or didnt want it then shouldnt he be using his imagination thinking about me not looking at some slut with her legs open??

The girls who acctualy think its ok for their men to be getting off on these women realy suprise me if im honest...


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## MaybeP

My OH has a really high sex drive and I have a really low sex drive - so normally he comes to me first and if I deny him and its been a number of days then I really don't see the problem with porn. If he turned me down for sex and I saw on the history he had been on porn then yeah I would be concerned but thats never the case. When he is satisfied sexually he has no reason what so ever to view porn unless its to spice up our sex life.

I really can see it both ways - I can see how some people would find it upsetting and would disagree with it and if thats the case then I don't think your OH should be watching it and hopefully they would respect your feelings. 

But for those of us that don't have a problem with it then it really isn't 'gross' or 'disrespectful' of our partners to be doing.


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