# next person that tells me co-sleeping is unsafe is getting a punch



## beanzz

so this morning a breastfeeding fb page shared a pic of "reasons to co-sleep" so i shared it too cos it said things i agree with. my aunt who is a year older than me and has 0 childen decided to comment about how its unsafe and babies die that way.
im sorry but babies die in cribs too. yes its a very sad thing and sometimes you can do everything to prevent it and it just happens. my whole world would end if i lost Oakley... but i feel safer with him in bed with me not in the crib i dont feel im putting him in any danger doing so.
i have NEVER said to someone who puts their baby to sleep in a crib "you do know babies DIE in cribs dont you?" that would be so uncalled for!! a mother worries about that anyway no matter where her baby sleeps, dont need reminding
made me regret posting it at first. should have known id get someone saying it. didn't think it'd be a family member though. she doesn't know a thing about parenting, noone does til they have a child.
and i HATE that OH got involved (he hates that we co-sleep) because he knows i do it safely with no pillows anywhere near Oakley and id never roll on him, i know im aware of him when im asleep. HE'S NOT THE ONE WHO DID THE NIGHT FEEDS IN THE FIRST FEW WEEKS :growlmad: how DARE he. 
i do everything for Oakley all by myself so IM the boss and i make the decisions on how i will be parenting. if he wants to make decisions he has to act like a parent first.
now im actually glad i posted it. people obviously need to know it IS safe. :dohh:
my grandma is also always on about it. people only think its unsafe because the "doctor told them" im sorry but doctors cant even make up their chuffin minds about which position is safest for a baby to sleep in - i aint trusting them for a second to decide where my baby should sleep!

surely us mothers should know what is best for our children? i know that co-sleeping is best for us just like some mothers know that the best for them is for their baby to be in a crib/cot. just like some mothers breastfeed and some dont. some slap their children, some dont.
arrgghghhofipoeufsdlj;lsjdsjew!!!! i hate judgemental mothers but people WITHOUT kids who judge mothers just need shooting. 
:gun::gun:
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## Dream.dream

i have a question i didnt have my son in my bed with me ever he slept in a bassinet that attatched to the side of the bed, 

ive looked into co-sleeping but cant seem to find any research on how hard it is to move the child to there own bed once they are older.


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## beanzz

it cant be that hard.. my LO is only 2 months old so i havent got to that part yet but my mum had me and my 3 younger brothers in the bed with her and we all sleep on our own now. :shrug: youngest is 7 years old.

my plan is to use star charts and rewards if we have difficulty, like with wetting the bed. :) he'll get a star for each night he sleeps in his own bed and at the end of the week if he's got all of his stars then he'll get a reward.


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## Amber4

I'll hold my hand up now and tell you I was exactly the same before having Brooke. I mean I never told anyone or judged but if asked for my opinion it was very unsafe and I had no idea why people would put their baby at such risk. However, being a Mummy now I realise it's fine as long as it's don't safely! I have done it a couple of times but we can't get comfortable enough to do it all the time! I like putting her in her moses basket because we have a breathing monitor to reassure me. I am aware of her and don't move an inch though. It's only dangerous if you have alcohol, medication or drugs etc and don't follow the guidelines xx


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## beanzz

Amber4 said:


> I'll hold my hand up now and tell you I was exactly the same before having Brooke. I mean I never told anyone or judged but if asked for my opinion it was very unsafe and I had no idea why people would put their baby at such risk. However, being a Mummy now I realise it's fine as long as it's don't safely! I have done it a couple of times but we can't get comfortable enough to do it all the time! I like putting her in her moses basket because we have a breathing monitor to reassure me. I am aware of her and don't move an inch though. It's only dangerous if you have alcohol, medication or drugs etc and don't follow the guidelines xx

When i was pregnant i thought it was unsafe too, more because i thought id roll on him when i was asleep though. i remember a discussion about it in teen pregnancy when we weren't that far along and i read all the posts thinking "omg i'd be too scared" but when we got home from hospital i went to sleep in my bed with Oakley lay next to me cos i was only planning on having a nap and noticed how aware i was cos of everytime he moved i woke up, even if he suddenly breathed slightly louder. i never ever thought "omg their baby is gonna die" though if someone said they were planning to co-sleep :shock: i decided i prefered co-sleeping before i knew how to do it properly, it felt safer even then. just because he was so close to me. im glad that even someone that doesn't co-sleep full time doesn't see me and think about babies dying :/ i feel a little sad about talking so much about it in one convo :/


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## lucy_x

Just so you know moving the baby into their own bed isnt hard at all (although that would depend on the child)

I co-slept with Amari until about 3 months ago, i decided to move her into her own bed so we could TTC, her daddy started taking her to bed, reading her a bed, giving her a kiss and leaving....Within 2 days of a teeny bit of crying (max 5 mins) she now goes to sleep with no troubles!


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## Amber4

Honestly babies are supposed to be less at risk of SIDS co sleeping as they remember to breath hearing their Mummy. The only risk is rolling onto them but if you are aware then your risk is very minimal. So try not to worry and ignore others. With Damon in our bed I rarely have her in because I just don't trust him. He moves so close to me and I usually end up being buried by his bit of the quilt, so that puts me off too. When he's not there sometime she will sleep on his side but not cuddled upto me x


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## Abby_

I co-sleep now and then. It makes breastfeeding so easy. But Dougie likes to be swaddled and then tucked in tightly, tbh I think it's going to be harder getting him out of that habit, than getting him out of co-sleeping! :dohh:


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## veganmama

ive never slept a night without my baby in bed with me

i love waking up and seeing his little face smile back at me

i love cosleeping :cloud9:


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## beanzz

Amber4 said:


> Honestly babies are supposed to be less at risk of SIDS co sleeping as they remember to breath hearing their Mummy. The only risk is rolling onto them but if you are aware then your risk is very minimal. So try not to worry and ignore others. With Damon in our bed I rarely have her in because I just don't trust him. He moves so close to me and I usually end up being buried by his bit of the quilt, so that puts me off too. When he's not there sometime she will sleep on his side but not cuddled upto me x

Will hates us co-sleepin cos he's scared of rolling on Oakley so I have already compromised by putting Oakley in his crib on the nights he stays round, as much as I hate Oakley being in it. I don't sleep as well and Oakley wakes up through the night for his dummy -.- 

gnna try and find one of those bed guards to stop kiddies rolling off so that I can sleep in the middle and then he can't complain cos if he doesn't trust himself then I'm a little wary about trusting him like you with Damon.


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## rhdr9193..x

Argos do the bed guards for about £18 x


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## beanzz

Abby_ said:


> I co-sleep now and then. It makes breastfeeding so easy. But Dougie likes to be swaddled and then tucked in tightly, tbh I think it's going to be harder getting him out of that habit, than getting him out of co-sleeping! :dohh:

It really does! Will says I only like co-sleeping so I can be lazy. I dont see the harm in that tbh who doesnt like the easy road :haha: but the reason I love it is because Oakley will sleep 12 hours at night. bless little Dougie I love the pic you took the other day of him swaddled, he looked like a little burrito! I have only used our swaddle blanket once, Oakley just gets too hot. I can't have a burrito baby :( 



veganmama said:


> ive never slept a night without my baby in bed with me
> 
> i love waking up and seeing his little face smile back at me
> 
> i love cosleeping :cloud9:

Oakley's been in my bed since day 1 too! until recently when Will (OH) has made me put him in the crib -.- but we still do it when he's not here to interfere :angelnot:

it's the best isn't it? :D there's nothing I love more than waking up next to Oakley. after having him in my belly and so close to me for 9 months it only feels right that he should be sleeping right next to me whilst he's still young. 

I hope I can try and convince Will with the bed guard idea so that we can co-sleep full time again and then I don't have to buy a cot :) fx.


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## KelseyRose05

When I was pregnant, I thought it was so unsafe. I never thought ''oh the baby will die'' but I roll and kick and punch in my sleep so I was scared I would hurt Blake. The first night in the hospital though I fell asleep with him on top of me. I didn't move an inch. I was in a deep sleep, and OH wanted to hold him so he took him off of me. I woke up when he did, then when I fell back asleep, I still didn't move. Blake is almost four weeks now, and occasionally he'll sleep downstairs in his pack'n'play and me or OH on the couch. But usually he sleeps in the bed next to me. He sleeps better and longer in our bed. I'm fully aware of him, and even OH is too. He usually moves around a lot too, but when Blake is in the bed he doesn't move. I feel much safer when he is in our bed. I wake up any time he moves or breathes lower or heavier. I love co-sleeping!


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## Abby_

Haha! I never even thought of a burrito. We always say he looks like a little slug. I would love to have him sleep 12 hours next to me!


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## mommie2be

Corey used to sleep with me. :) 
Now we just nap together in my bed when I'm tired too. But he always continuously hits me in the face before he falls asleep. :haha:


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## beanzz

Abby_ said:


> Haha! I never even thought of a burrito. We always say he looks like a little slug. I would love to have him sleep 12 hours next to me!

Slug! :rofl: thats so cute haha :') I always call Oakley a burrito baby when i wrap him up in his towel after our baths after my mum calling him an enchilada :haha: you can tell me and my family are all about food :p



mommie2be said:


> Corey used to sleep with me. :)
> Now we just nap together in my bed when I'm tired too. But he always continuously hits me in the face before he falls asleep. :haha:

Aww hehe what a bully! ive woken up sometimes to Oakley smacking me in the face too hehe. now he seems to wriggle round so that his feet are in my face so i get kicked instead! :haha: i feel the love!


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## JadeBaby75

Jade slept with me in the early days! I honestly didn't realize it was so controversial until coming to this board. I don't see anything wrong with it at all if you practice it safely!


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## KelseyRose05

Today my grandmas friend was over to see Blake and we got on the subject of sleeping. I mentioned how he sleeps in the bed with Brandon and I, and she literally gasped. Then she proceeded to tell me how unsafe it is. How easy it is to roll on them and smother them. I explained to her that I'm fully aware of him in my bed. Neither I nor Brandon move when he's in the bed. I wake up up any time Blake moves. Especially because he hits and kicks me in his sleep lol. Even though I explained that I feel more safe with him in our bed, she said ''it's unsafe, that all I'm saying.''

Erg, perople. :dohh:


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## beanzz

KelseyRose05 said:


> Today my grandmas friend was over to see Blake and we got on the subject of sleeping. I mentioned how he sleeps in the bed with Brandon and I, and she literally gasped. Then she proceeded to tell me how unsafe it is. How easy it is to roll on them and smother them. I explained to her that I'm fully aware of him in my bed. Neither I nor Brandon move when he's in the bed. I wake up up any time Blake moves. Especially because he hits and kicks me in his sleep lol. Even though I explained that I feel more safe with him in our bed, she said ''it's unsafe, that all I'm saying.''
> 
> Erg, perople. :dohh:

Yea thats the worst thing! When you explain that you know the risks but you are doing it safely and people still get uptight. There's risks to absolutely everything we do and as i've said in my original post, theres risk to babies in a crib or cot too so i dont see why people hate on bed sharing. :shrug: Or at least if they feel so strongly against it they could be kind and keep it to themselves really.


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## mommie2be

mommie2be said:


> Corey used to sleep with me. :)
> Now we just nap together in my bed when I'm tired too. But he always continuously hits me in the face before he falls asleep. :haha:

Aww hehe what a bully! ive woken up sometimes to Oakley smacking me in the face too hehe. now he seems to wriggle round so that his feet are in my face so i get kicked instead! :haha: i feel the love![/QUOTE]

Oh you're not the only one, he kicks me in the stomach & hits me in the face at the same time. & you can't forget the head butting. That's always sweet. :haha:


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## Miss_Quirky

:dohh: I hate people who push their parenting opinions on anyone in that way to be honest. I was SO Against cosleeping after seeing my little cousin (she is SIX years old and still refuses to sleep in her own bed) but now I realize it's my aunt's parenting style. She also can't tie her shoes, shower, or go to the bathroom on her own still. My other little cousins were tying their shoes and going to the bathroom by 3 years. :/

But now I like it when Devlin is next to me. FOB pushed cosleeping without saying it a lot :haha: He always wanted LO in between us, HE actually didn't sleep well if Devlin was in his bassinet. He still sleeps next to me if he is having a bad night and his pacifire keeps falling out--I give up and just let him be next to me. I usually kick, roll over, and hit in my sleep but when he is next to me I wake up in the exact same position I fell asleep in, plus he loves sleeping on FOB's chest.

Devlin is a picky sleeper though--he won't sleep all night in clothes, unless he's had his nighttime bath, if he has any other blanket on him then the big fuzzy one with catepillers on it, and he has to fall asleep in our arms before he goes to his bassinet or crib. But once he's asleep, he sleeps for at least 8 to 10 hours. So sometimes co-sleeping is just plain easier lol.


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## xx~Lor~xx

I co slept with both mine :) (co sleeping as in bed sharing)

My daughter co slept with us until she was 4-5 months old. We moved her into her cot at that time in her own room and really didn't have any problems moving her. 

My son co slept with us alot longer, up until probably 7/8 months. He's always been a very bad sleeper and still wakes in the night even now (he's 16 months) he occasionally ends up co sleeping with us in the early hours as he'll wake somewhere between midnight and 3am. He was a lot harder to get to stay in his cot as he's quite clingy to me anyway, but we did it gradually. I still have to sit and hold his hand while he goes to sleep, which I don't mind too much as I'm not a fan of CIO or CC. 

I breastfed both, my daughter to 7 months, my son to 11 months. It was alot easier co sleeping and breastfeeding, we got alot more undistrubed sleep and we felt safe. I often got told by friends and family that it was dangerous and yadda yadda, and I just said that I knew the risks and if I didn't feel safe then I wouldn't do it. I never ever drank whilst co sleeping, not even a glass. I don't smoke. I don't take drugs. I wouldn't co sleep if I knew I moved around alot or was a heavy sleeper. I think when you become a mother you tend to instinctively not move around alot when you know you have your newborn there. At the end of the day, near enough everyone was against me co sleeping, but its my child, and im being safe, so we were happy to carry on. Now my children are happy and healthy and sleep in their own beds (for the most part!! ;))


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## beanzz

yea I'm with you on that one,Laurel, out of me and my 3 mummy friends none of us are parenting the same way. we may be doing some things the same but on a whole we have completely different methods that we stick to. especially at bed time. 

I can understand where my aunt's coming from now that I've chilled out about this, I thought co-sleeping was unsafe too before I had Oakley. When i brought him home from hospital at 5am I went straight to bed with him in my arms cos I didn't want to let him go :haha: don't think I tried him in the crib for a few nights.

I don't agree with CIO or cc either, I dont bash anyone that does it because it'd take a lot of guts to listen to your baby crying for you. to me it only feels natural tending to my baby's every need, especially when all he wants is to be close to me :) they didn't have cave-cots in the caveman days so that's what they would have done. loads of people do it safely now that it's been looked into it and we know what is and isn't dangerous :)

I've had to delete the comments cos I re-read them all and it just seemed harsh to anyone that may have lost a baby to see people talking about it so much :/ now I'm beginning to think I was more pissed off at the fact someone would start a convo about babies dying in the first place and not her telling me I'm being unsafe cos I should have expected that. ohwel, it's gone and she will see when she has her own kid that you are so aware of them when asleep the only time you're likely to roll is if you've had a drink, taken drugs, etc. 


*OH made me put him in the crib and I got woken up at 4am instead of Oakley sttn. tried feeding him, not hungry. got into bed with him and he's fast asleep.  this is why I love co-sleeping the most.*


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## Miss_Quirky

Yeah, I don't believe in CIO either, and it kills me when FOB does it :( But that's just my parenting style. I like AP, it feels natural to me and it's what I want to do. I love wearing him, and I even wish I did cloth diapers with him now :haha: But that's just my choice.

Regardless, I think someone telling you that your parenting style is wrong is not okay. If someone chose to CIO with their LO, that is their choice and what they feel is right. If they want to co-sleep or crib-sleep, that's their choice. I feel for the women who have lost their child for whatever reason and understand that, but you are his parent and do what you feel is right :) 

I'll be the first to admit that before I became a mum I was probably one of the most judgemental about raising children, but now I fully accept that my style is not the same as my friend's might be and that is perfectly fine :flower:


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## MamaShantixo

I co slept with Devonne until about 2 weeks ago and hes about to turn one. The first night was rough with screaming and crying and throwing a fit, but the next night it got easier and easier now when he goes into his crib he knows its bed time. I guess Im lucky but co sleeping was the best thing I think for me and him:)


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## Kaisma

Aliina sleeps in her own room, but when she wakes up for a feed anytime between 5am and 8am she comes into our bed and continues sleeping there:) I love her sleeping next to me cos I know I will wake up for the most beautiful smile! I am aware she's being there and I am reallly deep sleeper. But I never move when shes next to me! Neither does OH!


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## kimberleyrobx

I dont see anything wrong with it, a bed is a bed! although from my own experience i have only let my daughter sleep in my bed only a handful of times, id rather she was in her own bed because my six year old sister still sleeps in my mums bed and refuses to sleep in her own bedroom because my mum always gave in and let her sleep beside her so i am determined to be firm and let emily know that her bed is where she should sleep. x


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## Mummy1995

I would love to co-sleep with my LO but it would be dangerous on my bed as it's very high! However if you have the right precautions I'd definitely say the benefits outweigh the negatives and as you say sadly babies die in cots as well! It's your baby and your choice so don't worry what anyone says :) I guess it's a bit like the BF/FF argument! x


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## lhancock90

Before i had Evelyn, i was exactly the same way.
Now, i have to advocate it to EVERYONE!
I know how frustrating it is.


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## Dragonfly

You had a ticker stalker then., I have to comment on co sleeping in private groups so I dont get ticker stalkers giving rude remarks about what I do while they have no kids or do a different type of parenting. I had to put on my status last week about it to I got fed up with it as I have a facebook page to and friends of friends often come trolling with the anti co sleeping comments to.


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## kittycat18

I have never had a friend or family member make rude remarks about my parenting style. Well I had one old friend make stupid remarks when I was pregnant and FIL refuses to BLW with LO which pisses me off. I did get to the stage of sending them over a BLW book which they probably didn't read :haha:

Just stick with your decisions and if someone starts giving you hell, give it back twice as hard because if your aunty doesn't have children then she doesn't understand what being a parent is like... x


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## Becca ox

When I was pregnant with Hayden I read into co-sleeping and wanted to do it but then I changed my mind & regretted it ever since. He is one now & is in his own room in a cot bed, I do wish I did co-sleep now even though so many people I know are against it, end of the day it is the mothers decision and nobody else's. ​


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## 19yroldmomma

ive done it too. lots of times. i dont think shes in danger. its not like shes on the edge of the bed.


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## x__amour

You stand strong and keep your head up. Parent how you want to and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 

:hugs:


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## Savannah11

People should keep their opinions to themselves. Its your child, not theres.
My baby is 15 months now and we still co-sleep!! x


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## Dragonfly

Though if you questioned their parenting they would be rather hostile back I would imagine. Sometimes if people get to overbearing and piss off dosnt cut it lay in to them and ask them how it feels.


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## snowfia

I hate when people say things like that.
When LO was a couple of days old OHs mum came over and asked about how she was sleeping and when we said she was in our bed she said how unsafe it is etc. 
The doctor also told me that I'd kill her basically. Sigh.
And my friend, who isnt a mum, nor is pregnant seemed to think she knew more about it than me and told me it was unsafe and listed all the things that could happen. Most of them could happen anywhere but like you said, we do everything we can to make wherever they sleep safe! Soooooo annoying.


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