# Teen moms, do you support teen pregnancy?



## hot tea

I am a fellow young mom, had my first at 17, so please do not take offense! :thumbup:

So, my question for all you ladies is... Do you support teen pregnancies? Or I should specify, planned teen pregnancy? Obviously things happen and all children should be cherished, but a planned baby for a young girl of say 16 to 18? 

I love my son more than life itself and he absolutely saved my life. He lives a very normal life and wants for nothing. This did not come without cost of myself... But that is the choice you make when you have sex at a young age. :thumbup: I do not support teen pregnancies, though. By not support them I just mean planned teen pregnancy. Maybe because I believe moms like me are a minority, not the majority. Most teen moms I know... Actually all I know in person, I would never associate with because of their parenting standards.

Please note there is NO judgement for any of you individual ladies, I just wanted to hear your thoughts and your aspirations and your beliefs! Thought it might be an interesting topic. :winkwink:


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## oOskittlesOo

I feel exactly like you. I'm 17 pregnant with my first and I definitley think I'm trying to make sure I don't end up as the majority.


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## hot tea

Motherhood is such a huge responsibility. I just think it should be left for an older age group. At a young age your brain is not fully developed yet, you are not fully matured... Obviously amazing mommies come from all age groups but that is surely hindering.


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## preppymommy

I would never ever ever have planned to get pregnant at 15 we used every type of contraception available and it still happened, so I guess it was meant to be but both FOB and I come from stable families who are able and willing to provide for us financially and emotionally so it's not a bad situation. That being said I would never want my child to get pregnant/get someone pregnant at a yound age- emotionally mature or not- kids need to be kids.


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## megan.rose

I am 20, Expecting my first...lol not planned. I completely agree...and even more disheartening is hearing that a lot of young girls are getting pregnant because they think that babies are easy and can be used as an accecorrie(yikes spelling)...its just sad...


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## Angel.Mummy

my lo was planned and although i'm young i can cope. 
i have basically brought my niece up from when she was 2 weeks old so know i can juggle my school work and a child. i know it won't be easy but i am willing to do anything i can to give my baby the best life i can possibly give it xx


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## hot tea

megan.rose said:


> I am 20, Expecting my first...lol not planned. I completely agree...and even more disheartening is hearing that a lot of young girls are getting pregnant because they think that babies are easy and can be used as an accecorrie(yikes spelling)...its just sad...

That as well. Newborns and babies are a cake walk... That little illusion is soon shattered when they reach the mid-twos :haha:


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## preppymommy

I remember seeing this video in health last year about how some girls (obviously not all) who get pregnant at a young age keep the child because they hear how it is someone who will love you unconditionally which yes true but that's so sad that they feel like they need to get pregnant to be loved


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## oOskittlesOo

hot tea said:


> Motherhood is such a huge responsibility. I just think it should be left for an older age group. At a young age your brain is not fully developed yet, you are not fully matured... Obviously amazing mommies come from all age groups but that is surely hindering.

I think that the "best" time to have kids is before 30 just in my opinion, but after you've finished school so you know you have a stable job etc. I know I'll be a perfect mommy but it's going to be hard.


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## preppymommy

Skyebo said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> Motherhood is such a huge responsibility. I just think it should be left for an older age group. At a young age your brain is not fully developed yet, you are not fully matured... Obviously amazing mommies come from all age groups but that is surely hindering.
> 
> I think that the "best" time to have kids is before 30 just in my opinion, but after you've finished school so you know you have a stable job etc. I know I'll be a perfect mommy but it's going to be hard.Click to expand...

I agree if I had a "do over" I would want this baby when I was out of school and with a steady job.


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## hot tea

I think 25 wouls have been an ideal age for me to get pregnant the first time. I like the idea of being a "young" mom but with a bit of life experience. Though I think 30 is a great age for loads of people to become mommies! In general anyways...


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## preppymommy

Yeah I would still want to be young enough to keep up with them but not as young as I am right now.


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## oOskittlesOo

I just like the idea of being able to relate with things my kids go through that's why I like before 30. But yeah I think that it all really depends on whas best for the individual just definitley once they've gotten somewhere and done something. Basically being able to take care of themselves and the LO.


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## amygwen

Hopefully I don't offend anyone, but I think having a planned pregnancy as a teenager is irresponsible. Now that my son is here, I don't regret him AT ALL, but I really regret bringing him into a situation where I'm inexperienced in life and I can't support him alone. I think a lot of younger girls get into the mindset that "My boyfriend will take care of us", well what if your boyfriend leaves you when your baby is born? What will you do then? Fair enough if you don't want to go college but realistically without a degree you can't support a child on your own without help. I get really irritated when I meet younger girls who are still in school and say they really want a baby, because they don't understand how many opportunities they can pursue that I can't!


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## Angel.Mummy

hot tea said:


> I think 25 wouls have been an ideal age for me to get pregnant the first time.

i agree that before mid 20's would of been the perfect age for me but after i lost my little angel, i just felt that the time was right and i know people might say i'm too young but personally i think i can do this. i think i am actual maturer than most people my age as i have practically brought up my niece xxx


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## hot tea

amygwen said:


> Hopefully I don't offend anyone, but I think having a planned pregnancy as a teenager is irresponsible. Now that my son is here, I don't regret him AT ALL, but I really regret bringing him into a situation where I'm inexperienced in life and I can't support him alone. I think a lot of younger girls get into the mindset that "My boyfriend will take care of us", well what if your boyfriend leaves you when your baby is born? What will you do then? Fair enough if you don't want to go college but realistically without a degree you can't support a child on your own without help. I get really irritated when I meet younger girls who are still in school and say they really want a baby, because they don't understand how many opportunities they can pursue that I can't!

Exactly... So nice to talk to like minded people! I have always felt a misfit, no moms my age around here understand my point of view... And to have someone else basically speak my thoughts, wow. Very refreshing. 

The reality of a child is a lot more momentous than most teen mommies imagine. It is beyond imagining. Thankfully I never had any illusions.


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## angeleyez92

Hello:flower: I do not really agree with planned teenage pregnancy if the girl is under 18. I believe that a lot of young mothers can be just as good of mother though. I am only 18 years old and I am pregnant. My baby was planned by my OH and I. I do not think that it was irresponsible of us becasue we are both emotionally and financially ready to have a child. My OH is quite a bit older though. He is 27 years old which probably makes a difference?


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## tasha41

No, I don't support planned teenage pregnancies. Of course every situation is different, but I can only speak from experience. My daughter was unplanned, and though we are doing well, it is a lot of hard work. A lot of things that were priorities before are still very important to me, but my daughter is more important, and to be honest it's tough.

I wanted a career first, then marriage and baby.. it really would have been the 'easy order'... I'm doing college but can only do it part time so it's taking longer and I am finding the opportunities just aren't the same. For example if I was in school full-time I could do a co-op (like an internship that counts for credits at school), it's not available to me as a part time student though. Which makes it difficult to gain experience to apply for jobs etc. 

And, because I don't have a 'career', and I'm working PT, my work schedule sucks, I have plenty of time with my daughter during the day when I'm home with her, but I don't have very much time alone with OH or 'family time' with the 3 of us to go do things because I work weekends and evenings.

Marriage is another thing that's important to me, and because of our current financial responsibilities, and me not working FT.. it's not something we can afford at the moment.. which is hard, because I want it so badly, my OH does but is okay with how things are.. it is 'painful' to want something but not be able to have it.

Of course I could put my daughter in daycare, go to school full time during the day, then work part-time evenings/weekends to essentially support my school and daycare costs, but it's not fair to my daughter.. so it's not even something I've considered, though technically an option.


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## hot tea

I do wonder what 27 year old man wouls want with a teenager... Do not take offense but that strikes me as strange!


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## krys

I think that planned teen pregnancy is somewhat irresponsible. It's a completely different situation if she accidentally got pregnant, and embraced the situation and did her best to raise the child. I don't really see anything wrong with a 19-20 year old girl planning her pregnancy, as long as she is married, or at least in a healthy, committed relationship. Obviously in this case I'm thinking of someone who is mentally and financially stable... I do think it's best to wait though, because honestly, even most 19-20 year old girls aren't in the ideal situation and aren't any of the things I mentioned up there. 
I do think that there are a lot of teens out there that just see the glamourous side of pregnancy, and just want attention. This makes me sad, because it's girls like this that end up pawning their kids off on others because they aren't ready for the responsibility! 

I know I kind of bounced around in this statement, but these are just my thoughts :)


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## dreabae

I didnt plan this at all but nor do I regret it. I have raised 4 kids and was going to adopt my little cousin when I was out of school. Which I still plan to do but it will just be another year or so cause im taking more schooling then I thought I was going to take. i personally think young girls shouldn't plan pregnancy. Expecially in high school. If your in high school 9 times out of 10 your relationship isn't going to last past the cap and gown and having a baby just makes that break up alot more harder. Also, Alot of girls plan pregnancy to keep their boyfriends around which is totally wrong. i know alot of young girls (including my sister) that got pregnant so she could try and fix their relationships. Im sorry I dont mean to be offensive towards anyone but people say that marriage is a life decision and I dont think girls understand that having a baby is 2 life decisions.


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## tasha41

Not to mention I would love my daughter to have a sibling, and I want another child, and I feel like the 'natural' time to do it is coming soon, but it's not really possible. Financially we'd be okay, but that pushes my career back even further.. would mean significant financial changes, because on maternity leave I'd only be getting 55% of my current wages.. and marriage probably wouldn't happen at all, hard to justify that expense when you have a 2 bedroom-1 bath home with a mortgage, 2 kids, no car, etc. 

YES you can be in this financial position (which isn't even that bad) at an older age, but IMO it'd be easier to get a new job after finishing college and getting some experience under your belt than it would be to try to finish college part time while working at a job that really is doing nothing for your career aspirations, and really sticking around because you have to.. due to being able to get the hours you are available to work, the flexibility (booking time off for appts etc), and knowing you will be able to rely on it to never go out of business.. urg.


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## angeleyez92

hot tea said:


> I do wonder what 27 year old man wouls want with a teenager... Do not take offense but that strikes me as strange!

I hear it a lot so it is okay.We met at work so we knew each other for awhile. He thought that I was older and I thought he was younger. He does not look his age tbh..lol He is not one of those perverted guys or anything. He is really sweet and he is one of the most hardworking wonderful guys I have ever met. I do not think anyone would look at it as strange if I was 25 and he was 34. That would be a normal thing for everyone...


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## hot tea

I agree entirely. My oh makes a lot of money as a creative graphic designer in advertising, so thankfully my need to work and make big dollars is pretty... Minimal. At the moment I work full time, and I like it that way. But maaaaan, second child is a toughy. I have only now become "excited". I am an amazing mother, I know it, but damned if I do not have needs too! I am very independent and have trouble asking for help.


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## hot tea

angeleyez92 said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I do wonder what 27 year old man wouls want with a teenager... Do not take offense but that strikes me as strange!
> 
> I hear it a lot so it is okay.We met at work so we knew each other for awhile. He thought that I was older and I thought he was younger. He does not look his age tbh..lol He is not one of those perverted guys or anything. He is really sweet and he is one of the most hardworking wonderful guys I have ever met. I do not think anyone would look at it as strange if I was 25 and he was 34. That would be a normal thing for everyone...Click to expand...

Yes, because a 25 year old has more life experience and a fully developed brain. :thumbup: i understand that not all situations are cookie cutter though.


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## NewMommy17

*I most certainly agree i don't support teen planned pregnancy either . Though I'm 17 I didn't plan my Pregnancy .
*
My best friend shes now 18 got pregnant when she was 17 . she did everything to be ms perfect for her child but i think it was kind of ignorant she graduated early because she planned to rush her life to be a mom . shes engaged im happy for her but the guy she deserves better he finally changed a little bit since my 4 month godson his and her son was born. But sad thing is its to late for his change hes going back to prison soon to do a 3 -4 year bid !

Now the thing i don't like about my best friend shes telling me im making a bad choice by bringing Lo into this world . I dont understand why she think she can judge me because she went through a lot to be happy and i never put her down during her pregnancy and told her she shouldn't bring him into the world instead i was supportive and knew she would be a great mom . 

Point is planned teen pregnancy's are not the right thing . I rather plan on college and marrying someone i can be happy with for the rest of my life for me and my child And Have a stable financial job which means getting a college degree !


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## tasha41

Furthermore my OH is definitely sacrificing. He is working at a plumbing/sewer company. I think his job title is 'sewer technician' or something. He makes very good money, a lot more than a plumbing apprentice would be. He would like to be a plumber, but an apprenticeship would mean taking a pay cut, then being off work and on EI while he's doing the in-class portion of his apprenticeship. He'd make more money in the long run, but speaking short-term.. it would be hard for us definitely since he is the breadwinner. 

So I do feel a bit of pressure, not because he puts any on me, but because he's been so supportive of my education.. he goes to work everyday, sometimes 12 days in a row, without complaining at all.. to "repay him" for it by getting a FT job so that he can pursue his career dreams.


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## MissyBee

I don't support planned teen pregnancy. I'm 20 years old, and this pregnancy was definitely not expected. I'll be fine financially, no problems there. But I don't know how emotionally stable I am right now. I'm still so young. I think it's foolish for a teenage girl to plan a pregnancy. The majority of these girls still live with their parents, and it's awful to basically force your family to take care of your baby for you with no consideration on your part. If it's unplanned, that's a whole different story, but to just decide to do that? And then what about that child? I just think it's better to wait if you are going to try to have a baby. Accidents happen and I have a ton of respect for the young women who make the best of their situation and push through it for their child, but to plan bringing a baby into a less than ideal situation is wrong in my opinion.


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## angeleyez92

hot tea said:


> angeleyez92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I do wonder what 27 year old man wouls want with a teenager... Do not take offense but that strikes me as strange!
> 
> I hear it a lot so it is okay.We met at work so we knew each other for awhile. He thought that I was older and I thought he was younger. He does not look his age tbh..lol He is not one of those perverted guys or anything. He is really sweet and he is one of the most hardworking wonderful guys I have ever met. I do not think anyone would look at it as strange if I was 25 and he was 34. That would be a normal thing for everyone...Click to expand...
> 
> Yes, because a 25 year old has more life experience and a fully developed brain. :thumbup: i understand that not all situations are cookie cutter though.Click to expand...

I canot understand it but I do not act the same as an 18 year old. I turn 19 years old this year. I am almost finished with my associates degree in psychology with a 4.0 I had to grow up much quicker than I should have. I have had many things happen in my life that had forced me to grow up. So I am sure I have enough life experience :haha: I do not think I could handle anymore. I believe that since I am 18 almost 19 that I am considered an adult. I understand if I was 13 or 14 and he was that old but I am of legal age.


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## Angel.Mummy

i don't want to sound like really horrible but i don't think its irresponsible for a teen to plan their kid 

1. i have a room for the baby
2. my mum was alright with me planning this baby cause of previous loss
3. my oh wanted this baby aswell
4. i have a job, maybe not getting as much money as some but its still something
5. oh has a job, again maybe not getting as much money as some
6. we both have savings. my mum's been putting away for me. so has my dad 
and oh's parents have been doing the same. i also have saved alotta money myself. 

but anyway i don't want to sound rude or anything xxx


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## dreabae

angeleyez92 said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angeleyez92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I do wonder what 27 year old man wouls want with a teenager... Do not take offense but that strikes me as strange!
> 
> I hear it a lot so it is okay.We met at work so we knew each other for awhile. He thought that I was older and I thought he was younger. He does not look his age tbh..lol He is not one of those perverted guys or anything. He is really sweet and he is one of the most hardworking wonderful guys I have ever met. I do not think anyone would look at it as strange if I was 25 and he was 34. That would be a normal thing for everyone...Click to expand...
> 
> Yes, because a 25 year old has more life experience and a fully developed brain. :thumbup: i understand that not all situations are cookie cutter though.Click to expand...
> 
> I canot understand it but I do not act the same as an 18 year old. I turn 19 years old this year. I am almost finished with my associates degree in psychology with a 4.0 I had to grow up much quicker than I should have. I have had many things happen in my life that had forced me to grow up. So I am sure I have enough life experience :haha: I do not think I could handle anymore. I believe that since I am 18 almost 19 that I am considered an adult. I understand if I was 13 or 14 and he was that old but I am of legal age.Click to expand...

Seriously? Who are you? What she does with a 27 year old man is her damn business. Who are you to pass judgement on her or any of us. Whiether you agree with it or not everyone on this TEEN PREGNANCY FORUM is pregnant. Why are you even on this part of the site starting commotion? Im sure most of us will make better mothers than half the 25-35 year olds having children.


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## dreabae

Also, She is 18 going on 19. She is perfectly capable of making her own decisions Im almost completely sure this.


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## merakola

For myself, I would have NEVER planned a pregnancy when I was a teen ( im 21 now) but, at the same time I cant tell someone else if they are ready for a child or not. To me that wouldnt be my place. I know women that are past their teens ( in their 30s) that plan to have kids for the same silly reason some silly teens have kids for so I dont think knowledge comes with age at alllll. Like my stepmom for instance she was about 35 planning to have a baby but for all the wrong reasons ( she hates me and my little brother and pretty much wanted us out the pic ) now i dont think its the best idea for a 15-18 year old to plan a pregnancy because everything they have to deal with but they have teens that have their sh*t together better than their own parents. So it really depends on the situation to me. But I hate to tell someone what they should and should not do. So I see both sides of the story


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## amygwen

Angel.Mummy said:


> i don't want to sound like really horrible but i don't think its irresponsible for a teen to plan their kid
> 
> 1. i have a room for the baby
> 2. my mum was alright with me planning this baby cause of previous loss
> 3. my oh wanted this baby aswell
> 4. i have a job, maybe not getting as much money as some but its still something
> 5. oh has a job, again maybe not getting as much money as some
> 6. we both have savings. my mum's been putting away for me. so has my dad
> and oh's parents have been doing the same. i also have saved alotta money myself.
> 
> but anyway i don't want to sound rude or anything xxx

You don't sound rude. But most teenagers aren't in as good of a situation as you are. Your parents support you which is GREAT because that will help you out LOADS financially and emotionally. I'm in the same situation, I have room for the baby, both OH and I have jobs and both sets of parents are extremely supportive. Thankfully I still live w/ my parents while I go to school and work, therefore I'm not forking out as much money as I could be if I had to live alone with him. I hate to think that without my parents and with my OH, I financially would NEVER be able to live on my own making the money I make right now. I also hate to think that without my OH and with my parents I would never be able to go to college and better my life. Could you? Thankfully we're both lucky that we have such supportive families and a supportive OH, but not everyone has that which is why it's irresponsible for teenagers to have pregnancies.


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## hot tea

I did not mean to offend. As I stated. But... Sorry if I did! :)


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## angeleyez92

dreabae said:


> Also, She is 18 going on 19. She is perfectly capable of making her own decisions Im almost completely sure this.

Yes I believe I am.:blush: I get it a lot about our age difference but it is okay with me. I am an adult and I am able to be with him. He is one of the best guys I have ever met.


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## amygwen

dreabae said:


> angeleyez92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angeleyez92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I do wonder what 27 year old man wouls want with a teenager... Do not take offense but that strikes me as strange!
> 
> I hear it a lot so it is okay.We met at work so we knew each other for awhile. He thought that I was older and I thought he was younger. He does not look his age tbh..lol He is not one of those perverted guys or anything. He is really sweet and he is one of the most hardworking wonderful guys I have ever met. I do not think anyone would look at it as strange if I was 25 and he was 34. That would be a normal thing for everyone...Click to expand...
> 
> Yes, because a 25 year old has more life experience and a fully developed brain. :thumbup: i understand that not all situations are cookie cutter though.Click to expand...
> 
> I canot understand it but I do not act the same as an 18 year old. I turn 19 years old this year. I am almost finished with my associates degree in psychology with a 4.0 I had to grow up much quicker than I should have. I have had many things happen in my life that had forced me to grow up. So I am sure I have enough life experience :haha: I do not think I could handle anymore. I believe that since I am 18 almost 19 that I am considered an adult. I understand if I was 13 or 14 and he was that old but I am of legal age.Click to expand...
> 
> Seriously? Who are you? What she does with a 27 year old man is her damn business. Who are you to pass judgement on her or any of us. Whiether you agree with it or not everyone on this TEEN PREGNANCY FORUM is pregnant. Why are you even on this part of the site starting commotion? Im sure most of us will make better mothers than half the 25-35 year olds having children.Click to expand...

I don't think hot tea was trying to be rude, she was just stating an opinion which is always expressed through forums whether you're in the teen pregnancy section or not.


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## Angel.Mummy

amygwen said:


> Angel.Mummy said:
> 
> 
> i don't want to sound like really horrible but i don't think its irresponsible for a teen to plan their kid
> 
> 1. i have a room for the baby
> 2. my mum was alright with me planning this baby cause of previous loss
> 3. my oh wanted this baby aswell
> 4. i have a job, maybe not getting as much money as some but its still something
> 5. oh has a job, again maybe not getting as much money as some
> 6. we both have savings. my mum's been putting away for me. so has my dad
> and oh's parents have been doing the same. i also have saved alotta money myself.
> 
> but anyway i don't want to sound rude or anything xxx
> 
> You don't sound rude. But most teenagers aren't in as good of a situation as you are. Your parents support you which is GREAT because that will help you out LOADS financially and emotionally. I'm in the same situation, I have room for the baby, both OH and I have jobs and both sets of parents are extremely supportive. Thankfully I still live w/ my parents while I go to school and work, therefore I'm not forking out as much money as I could be if I had to live alone with him. I hate to think that without my parents and with my OH, I financially would NEVER be able to live on my own making the money I make right now. I also hate to think that without my OH and with my parents I would never be able to go to college and better my life. Could you? Thankfully we're both lucky that we have such supportive families and a supportive OH, but not everyone has that which is why it's irresponsible for teenagers to have pregnancies.Click to expand...

i get what you mean now , i thought yous just ment it was irresponsible just because they were teens, my bad:dohh:. no i honestly couldn't imagine doing this without the support of my family they have been amazing through my loss and everything. xxx


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## tasha41

I'm sure there are some people who try to conceive while living @ home with their parents and being teenagers, but I am also sure that those cases are the minority. I can't think of many situations where I would support Elyse actively trying to get pregnant while living with me and working part time. I guess we will see when the time comes, and I'm glad that some teenagers in that spot have support. I guess I would rather she was honest with me than deceiving me and going behind my back.. I'd be more prepared.. and I know you can't stop people.. but I would probably try to strike some sort of deal with her, like I'll save, you get a FT job or finish school etc.. 

But I think those who do not tell their parents what their intentions are, are being immature and selfish :shrug:.. I mean, if you and your BF *did* break up, no matter how unlikely you feel that would be, a lot of responsibility would fall on your parents, especially if you live somewhere where you need to be a certain age to receive gov't support or if you're not entitled to any because you are your parent's dependent still. For example, I am sure that at 17 here you are considered your parent's dependent (until 18?) and you could move out and go on welfare but for a single adult it's like $600 per month here, which is pittance to live off of. Most parents would let you stay at home because they love you, don't want you or your child to endure hardship, but it's a lot for them to take on. Even if you can pay for diapers, clothes, formula, etc... they have to accommodate you living in their home; your stuff & the baby's being around, a crying baby at night, etc... though most are glad to do it I think, it is still not 'right' IMO.

This coming from someone who DID live at home until their child was 15mos, I could have left sooner, but my parents really wanted us to stay.. I think to make sure OH & I would stay together and to make sure we got some savings together.. and to help me adjust to becoming a mom etc. I will feel guilty about that for a long time, I've been moved out about a year now and still do. They're really supportive and I'm blessed, they got a granddaughter they adore and love to have around out of all of this.. she's amazing.. but I still do feel that way, that I'll never be able to repay them and I owe it to them to get my stuff together before I have another..

My heart is definitely in turmoil... wanting another child, but feeling like it just isn't right for us right now..


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## merakola

amygwen said:


> I don't think hot tea was trying to be rude, she was just stating an opinion which is always expressed through forums whether you're in the teen pregnancy section or not.



i dont think she meant to come off rude either but they way she stated :

" i wonder what a 27 year old would want with a teenager" that sounded kind of rude. maybe not her intention but i wouldve taken it the wrong way as well.


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## angeleyez92

hot tea said:


> I did not mean to offend. As I stated. But... Sorry if I did! :)

I t is okay I am not offended. I am quite used to it now. I get it a lot. I know it may not sound right me being with someone that age but if you were to meet him in person then you would see. He really is one of those guys that will do anything for their girlfriend.(Technically fiance) He is so supportive and he works two jobs a day. This equals out to around 16-17 hours a day. He really is wonderful.


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## amygwen

Angel.Mummy said:


> amygwen said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Angel.Mummy said:
> 
> 
> i don't want to sound like really horrible but i don't think its irresponsible for a teen to plan their kid
> 
> 1. i have a room for the baby
> 2. my mum was alright with me planning this baby cause of previous loss
> 3. my oh wanted this baby aswell
> 4. i have a job, maybe not getting as much money as some but its still something
> 5. oh has a job, again maybe not getting as much money as some
> 6. we both have savings. my mum's been putting away for me. so has my dad
> and oh's parents have been doing the same. i also have saved alotta money myself.
> 
> but anyway i don't want to sound rude or anything xxx
> 
> You don't sound rude. But most teenagers aren't in as good of a situation as you are. Your parents support you which is GREAT because that will help you out LOADS financially and emotionally. I'm in the same situation, I have room for the baby, both OH and I have jobs and both sets of parents are extremely supportive. Thankfully I still live w/ my parents while I go to school and work, therefore I'm not forking out as much money as I could be if I had to live alone with him. I hate to think that without my parents and with my OH, I financially would NEVER be able to live on my own making the money I make right now. I also hate to think that without my OH and with my parents I would never be able to go to college and better my life. Could you? Thankfully we're both lucky that we have such supportive families and a supportive OH, but not everyone has that which is why it's irresponsible for teenagers to have pregnancies.Click to expand...
> 
> i get what you mean now , i thought yous just ment it was irresponsible just because they were teens, my bad:dohh:. no i honestly couldn't imagine doing this without the support of my family they have been amazing through my loss and everything. xxxClick to expand...


Oh nonono. :hugs:
I'm exactly the same way, we are so lucky! 
My family were extremely supportive and still are, it's amazing! :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Angel.Mummy

tasha41 ~ i get what you mean, my mum was more supportive because she herself went through a loss before me and knew what it felt like to want a baby after a loss. she was also supportive because she had gotten to know my bf etc and knows we are in a very commited realtionship (even though we are taking a break at the moment) she was also happy that i was honest with her about wanting to try. but i do get where your coming from xxx


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## amygwen

angeleyez92 said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I did not mean to offend. As I stated. But... Sorry if I did! :)
> 
> I t is okay I am not offended. I am quite used to it now. I get it a lot. I know it may not sound right me being with someone that age but if you were to meet him in person then you would see. He really is one of those guys that will do anything for their girlfriend.(Technically fiance) He is so supportive and he works two jobs a day. This equals out to around 16-17 hours a day. He really is wonderful.Click to expand...


That's great hun :hugs:
I heard a lot of crap when I was 16 because I was with a 24 yo, which is different because you're considered an adult, but I can relate.. people used to talk about us all the time! That's great he's supportive :thumbup:


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## dreabae

amygwen said:


> dreabae said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angeleyez92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angeleyez92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I do wonder what 27 year old man wouls want with a teenager... Do not take offense but that strikes me as strange!
> 
> I hear it a lot so it is okay.We met at work so we knew each other for awhile. He thought that I was older and I thought he was younger. He does not look his age tbh..lol He is not one of those perverted guys or anything. He is really sweet and he is one of the most hardworking wonderful guys I have ever met. I do not think anyone would look at it as strange if I was 25 and he was 34. That would be a normal thing for everyone...Click to expand...
> 
> Yes, because a 25 year old has more life experience and a fully developed brain. :thumbup: i understand that not all situations are cookie cutter though.Click to expand...
> 
> I canot understand it but I do not act the same as an 18 year old. I turn 19 years old this year. I am almost finished with my associates degree in psychology with a 4.0 I had to grow up much quicker than I should have. I have had many things happen in my life that had forced me to grow up. So I am sure I have enough life experience :haha: I do not think I could handle anymore. I believe that since I am 18 almost 19 that I am considered an adult. I understand if I was 13 or 14 and he was that old but I am of legal age.Click to expand...
> 
> Seriously? Who are you? What she does with a 27 year old man is her damn business. Who are you to pass judgement on her or any of us. Whiether you agree with it or not everyone on this TEEN PREGNANCY FORUM is pregnant. Why are you even on this part of the site starting commotion? Im sure most of us will make better mothers than half the 25-35 year olds having children.Click to expand...
> 
> I don't think hot tea was trying to be rude, she was just stating an opinion which is always expressed through forums whether you're in the teen pregnancy section or not.Click to expand...

well this is teen PREGNANCY. Meaning your suppose to be a TEEN and PREGNANT. Not some random person judging people. Im sorry if I dont think its right that the girls that come here for help are getting judged. Im sure everyone has their opinion but I dont care if she was a 35 year old yeahh alot of people would think thats wrong but I dont think she wants to hear it. and the whole "yeah a 25 year old has a fully developed brain" thing was ridiculous.


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## hot tea

Yes, I honestly did not intend to offend, I am just an upfront person.


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## angeleyez92

amygwen said:


> angeleyez92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I did not mean to offend. As I stated. But... Sorry if I did! :)
> 
> I t is okay I am not offended. I am quite used to it now. I get it a lot. I know it may not sound right me being with someone that age but if you were to meet him in person then you would see. He really is one of those guys that will do anything for their girlfriend.(Technically fiance) He is so supportive and he works two jobs a day. This equals out to around 16-17 hours a day. He really is wonderful.Click to expand...
> 
> 
> That's great hun :hugs:
> I heard a lot of crap when I was 16 because I was with a 24 yo, which is different because you're considered an adult, but I can relate.. people used to talk about us all the time! That's great he's supportive :thumbup:Click to expand...

Yes he is very excited for the baby and has been putting one full paycheck from each job into savings...lol


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## Angel.Mummy

angeleyez92 said:


> Yes he is very excited for the baby and has been putting one full paycheck from each job into savings...lol

as long as your happy i really don't see what the big fuss is about. i personally think that if what a person chooses makes them happy then it is the right thing for them :D


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## amygwen

dreabae said:


> amygwen said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> dreabae said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angeleyez92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angeleyez92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I do wonder what 27 year old man wouls want with a teenager... Do not take offense but that strikes me as strange!
> 
> I hear it a lot so it is okay.We met at work so we knew each other for awhile. He thought that I was older and I thought he was younger. He does not look his age tbh..lol He is not one of those perverted guys or anything. He is really sweet and he is one of the most hardworking wonderful guys I have ever met. I do not think anyone would look at it as strange if I was 25 and he was 34. That would be a normal thing for everyone...Click to expand...
> 
> Yes, because a 25 year old has more life experience and a fully developed brain. :thumbup: i understand that not all situations are cookie cutter though.Click to expand...
> 
> I canot understand it but I do not act the same as an 18 year old. I turn 19 years old this year. I am almost finished with my associates degree in psychology with a 4.0 I had to grow up much quicker than I should have. I have had many things happen in my life that had forced me to grow up. So I am sure I have enough life experience :haha: I do not think I could handle anymore. I believe that since I am 18 almost 19 that I am considered an adult. I understand if I was 13 or 14 and he was that old but I am of legal age.Click to expand...
> 
> Seriously? Who are you? What she does with a 27 year old man is her damn business. Who are you to pass judgement on her or any of us. Whiether you agree with it or not everyone on this TEEN PREGNANCY FORUM is pregnant. Why are you even on this part of the site starting commotion? Im sure most of us will make better mothers than half the 25-35 year olds having children.Click to expand...
> 
> I don't think hot tea was trying to be rude, she was just stating an opinion which is always expressed through forums whether you're in the teen pregnancy section or not. Click to expand...
> 
> well this is teen PREGNANCY. Meaning your suppose to be a TEEN and PREGNANT. Not some random person judging people. Im sorry if I dont think its right that the girls that come here for help are getting judged. Im sure everyone has their opinion but I dont care if she was a 35 year old yeahh alot of people would think thats wrong but I dont think she wants to hear it. and the whole "yeah a 25 year old has a fully developed brain" thing was ridiculous.Click to expand...


She's not random, she's pregnant! LOL. She's posted loads here before! 
And the teen pregnancy part of the forum does not mean you're supposed to be a TEEN and PREGNANT, per the forum = Young and pregnant? Come and talk to other teen mothers-to-be and *helpful adults who can give support and advice* on issues relating to teen pregnancy.  Also, I think she's already apologized and things have been settled.. :D


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## angeleyez92

Angel.Mummy said:


> angeleyez92 said:
> 
> 
> Yes he is very excited for the baby and has been putting one full paycheck from each job into savings...lol
> 
> as long as your happy i really don't see what the big fuss is about. i personally think that if what a person chooses makes them happy then it is the right thing for them :DClick to expand...

Thank you... I feel like i started an arguement on here though by mentioning OH's age. :shrug:


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## hot tea

dreabae said:


> amygwen said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> dreabae said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
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> angeleyez92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angeleyez92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I do wonder what 27 year old man wouls want with a teenager... Do not take offense but that strikes me as strange!
> 
> I hear it a lot so it is okay.We met at work so we knew each other for awhile. He thought that I was older and I thought he was younger. He does not look his age tbh..lol He is not one of those perverted guys or anything. He is really sweet and he is one of the most hardworking wonderful guys I have ever met. I do not think anyone would look at it as strange if I was 25 and he was 34. That would be a normal thing for everyone...Click to expand...
> 
> Yes, because a 25 year old has more life experience and a fully developed brain. :thumbup: i understand that not all situations are cookie cutter though.Click to expand...
> 
> I canot understand it but I do not act the same as an 18 year old. I turn 19 years old this year. I am almost finished with my associates degree in psychology with a 4.0 I had to grow up much quicker than I should have. I have had many things happen in my life that had forced me to grow up. So I am sure I have enough life experience :haha: I do not think I could handle anymore. I believe that since I am 18 almost 19 that I am considered an adult. I understand if I was 13 or 14 and he was that old but I am of legal age.Click to expand...
> 
> Seriously? Who are you? What she does with a 27 year old man is her damn business. Who are you to pass judgement on her or any of us. Whiether you agree with it or not everyone on this TEEN PREGNANCY FORUM is pregnant. Why are you even on this part of the site starting commotion? Im sure most of us will make better mothers than half the 25-35 year olds having children.Click to expand...
> 
> I don't think hot tea was trying to be rude, she was just stating an opinion which is always expressed through forums whether you're in the teen pregnancy section or not. Click to expand...
> 
> well this is teen PREGNANCY. Meaning your suppose to be a TEEN and PREGNANT. Not some random person judging people. Im sorry if I dont think its right that the girls that come here for help are getting judged. Im sure everyone has their opinion but I dont care if she was a 35 year old yeahh alot of people would think thats wrong but I dont think she wants to hear it. and the whole "yeah a 25 year old has a fully developed brain" thing was ridiculous.Click to expand...

Okay... It is very good of you to stand up for someone else. But she seems pretty understanding herself. No harm done. As I said I am also a teen mom. I have dated men a lot older than myself too... Let us call it bad communication.:shrug:


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## Angel.Mummy

angeleyez hasn't seemed to have taken any offence to anything that has been said so i don't see why anyone else should :shrug:


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## amygwen

Back on topic! :D


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## MissMummy2Be

I think its a personal thing some girls might plan it when they are not ready but thats for them to decide everyone is dif and some people are ready for kids yonger then others :D


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## prettymomtobe

I honestly do not support a young teens planned pregnancy. No matter how good of a situation you are in, you are still a baby! Your so young. You have so much to live for. Go to school and get an amazing job. Live a little bit. Save up some moolah. Get an apartment or home. I'm 19 years old and pregnant. Trust me, being pregnant in a situation with no money is one of the most stressful things. If I had it my way I wish I could be more prepared for this. I love my baby though and I wouldn't trade he/she for the world but I wish I could be more prepared. I'm still a baby! I have my whole life ahead of me. But now I have a child. You don't realize how much your life is gonna change with a baby.


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## _laura

I don't support it unless the person is at least 18 and financially and emotionally ready. One of my closest friends had a child age 18 and now age 20 is due her 2nd any day now. Her and her OH are financially stable, emotionally ready. Both have jobs and a home together. 

But then on the other hand you get teens that plan their pregnancies and don't have anything to fall back on, no education, no money. There were reports that the girl that was on 16 and pregnant recently (most recent episode I think) did it for fame and money. THAT IS SICK. To have a child to get money and fame? She's got some problems and then the idea comes that will her child get the best life they deserve?

Obviously if your pregnancy isn't planned then to have the responsibility to care for your child is amazing. Me and my OH didnt plan my pregnancy, we found out really late and within 2 months we had found a place and sorted everything out for the arrival of our child. 

Another point I'd like to make is women are in their fertility prime between 18-24 years old. So a planned pregnancy within those ages would be ideal. As long as you have the right backing.


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## Sarah-Jane

I personally don't agree with planned teen pregnancy... I honestly think... WAIT!!!
I had my little boy at 18, I love him so much and would be completely lost without him, he's my right arm. He was an unexpected miracle as I fell pregnant on the pill. Luckily enough, I had a well paid job, my partner did and we had supportive parents after the couple of months bollocking subsided. But to plan a pregnancy when you don't have decent wages coming in, don't have your own home, can't do it without parents/on your own then why should you class yourself as responsible for a child?!?!? I don't mean it offensively, it's my opinion. Being a parent, as well as rewarding... is sooo hard, NOT AS A NEWBORN, BUT AS A TODDLER! Newborns (the waking up during the night, the constant worry, not knowing always what they want) is honestly a walk in the park... but when a toddler is honestly throwing the biggest tantrums ever and basically being a little shit at times... that's the hard part! I think I've been a brilliant mum and my fella has been the best Dad ever! He wants for nothing and has all the love in the world! But good parenting can't take the terrible two's away. If teens think they're stable enough to get pregnant planned, why aren't most of them stable enough to live/provide without their parents? I completely understand when the baby isn't planned, I would never have got through it without my parents but if you plan a baby knowing your parents are going to pay for most or after a certain amount of savings have gone... why not wait? xxx


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## stephx

Hmm I don't think it's as black and White as 'I agree' or 'I don't' I mean, no 14/15 year old can be ready. Planning a baby at that age is just ridiculous, but by the time you reach 17/18 you can have finished school, and it's quite easy to be financially stable with 2 Full time incomes, rent a home, pay bills ect, and if you emotionally ready then yeah, why not?? I know if I'd have fallen pregnant at 17 I would have been fine.

I know most peoples pregnancies in here are not planned, but I wouldn't judge any 17+ girl TTC as long as she was in the right situation... X


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## Bumblebee20

hot tea said:


> I am a fellow young mom, had my first at 17, so please do not take offense! :thumbup:
> 
> So, my question for all you ladies is... Do you support teen pregnancies? Or I should specify, planned teen pregnancy? Obviously things happen and all children should be cherished, but a planned baby for a young girl of say 16 to 18?
> 
> I love my son more than life itself and he absolutely saved my life. He lives a very normal life and wants for nothing. This did not come without cost of myself... But that is the choice you make when you have sex at a young age. :thumbup: I do not support teen pregnancies, though. By not support them I just mean planned teen pregnancy. Maybe because I believe moms like me are a minority, not the majority. Most teen moms I know... Actually all I know in person, I would never associate with because of their parenting standards.
> 
> Please note there is NO judgement for any of you individual ladies, I just wanted to hear your thoughts and your aspirations and your beliefs! Thought it might be an interesting topic. :winkwink:

I planned my first at 16, but to me age is nothing its the person not the age.


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## HarlaHorse

I think it really depends on the person, their situation and where their from (its just I know Australia's alot different than UK/USA).

I mean, school in Australia isn't really a big deal unless you want to be a lawyer or a doctor. For a simple career that will have you and your family looked after for the rest of your life and not leave you struggle, it doesn't take much. You can drop out at 16, then go off to TAFE (its like, a local college). Or you can do a course over the internet, easy as. I don't support teen pregnancys, but I don't not support them. So over here its just so much easier by the sounds. I mean, I think the most important part in Australia would be being in a stable relationship, with a supportive boyfriend with a good job, girls wouldn't even worry one bit about working or school. This is really sad but after we have a baby over here, especially if we're young, theres no stuggle at all with money, we're so supported by Centrelink that we would possibly even be better off being a single mum with no job! Sad I know.

I still think you know, it's something that can wait. So many girls think their in love when their not, I think if you waited a bit longer, actually found the right guy, then it wouldn't be such a bad thing. I'm not really sure what I'm saying, I'm rambling on and hoping it makes sense to you guys :haha:

I think the irresponsible side of planned teen pregnancies to me is when your still living at home, your parents are still supporting you, you've got no path in life sort of thing, it's like why not wait until you and your OH are well off and you have your own place sort of thing, if you get me?
But in saying that, its responsible for girls to fall pregnant as well, of course every situation is different of course. Not trying to offend anyone at all :flower: I'm just saying, I was very aware that I could fall pregnant, I was on no form of contraception and my OH wasn't even pulling out (even though aparently that doesn't always work of course, lol) but hows that any more responsible than the girls that are set and plan it? Do you know what I mean? Obviously some girls are using contraception at the time they fall pregnant, thats just unlucky I guess. *I'm really not trying to offend anyone, I was one of them girls that fell pregnant because I didn't use contraception, so any girls that fell pregnant the same way I did should understand completely!* :flow:

And as for Angel.Mummy, I believe you TTC after a loss? I do understand this, I mean even if its not the most responsible thing in the world to do, I guess you would have adjusted to having a baby, then had a m/c, it would have been heartbreaking so therefore you wanted another baby. You sound like your well off compared to others your age, good luck honey.

I understand when girls are saying 'but your boyfriend could walk out,' completely true, I have huge faith in my OH, I believe with all my heart, and I know he does that we'll be together forever. He's amazing and I know he loves me. But anything at all could happen, I'm not scared of it happening to me because I'm just so confident, but theres so many girls that felt the same way, then their OH's have walked out, so be careful that's all, especially if you rely on your OH's income, I do at the moment, but I wouldn't when the baby was born, but he'll be around anyways :flower:

Wow sorry, that's really long, maybe a little bit pointless, I know what I was saying I'm not sure if yous do though :haha: pregnant brain kicking in!


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## xx~Lor~xx

Honestly, IMO, age is just a number. But i would only see it as a positive if the person was in a stable relationship, had a stable home, and both were out of school and working. Some people ARE ready for kids younger than others, remember girls, it was the NORM for teenagers to have children in our grandparents era!! Yes, alot of teenagers don't think through getting pregnant, they don't think of the responsibilities and the pressure and strain it can put on a relationship and on you emotionally and financially.


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## hollye

i noticed noone had thought about this so figured i might aswell add this argument

my friend is 16 & turns 17 in august. shes got a condition that affects her fertility (im not sure what it is) 

shes been told that if she doesnt get pregnant in the next few years she will not be able to get pregnant after that. she never really wanted kids but once she was told this her broodiness kicked in & shes become so depressed about the thought of not bein able to have a child, so shes decided to try. 

I guess this shows that everyones situation is different & its foolish to just assume they are trying without some reason behind it, because a very small minority of girls might have really personal reasons. 

i personally, after experiencing the love for my baby girl completely understand how she feels. so i do support her trying to get pregnant. i know some people will say she could adopt, but i know for some women the broodiness is all about having a baby growing inside them and everything. ive never seen someone want a baby so much, it is like its all she lives for.


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## Sarah-Jane

hollye said:


> i noticed noone had thought about this so figured i might aswell add this argument
> 
> my friend is 16 & turns 17 in august. shes got a condition that affects her fertility (im not sure what it is)
> 
> shes been told that if she doesnt get pregnant in the next few years she will not be able to get pregnant after that. she never really wanted kids but once she was told this her broodiness kicked in & shes become so depressed about the thought of not bein able to have a child, so shes decided to try.
> 
> I guess this shows that everyones situation is different & its foolish to just assume they are trying without some reason behind it, because a very small minority of girls might have really personal reasons.
> 
> i personally, after experiencing the love for my baby girl completely understand how she feels. so i do support her trying to get pregnant. i know some people will say she could adopt, but i know for some women the broodiness is all about having a baby growing inside them and everything. ive never seen someone want a baby so much, it is like its all she lives for.

I understand this reason hun... but 90% of teens that plan to get pregnant don't do it for these reasons, they do it coz they think it's 'cool', they think it's easy and they think they can get benefits and a house (they do in the UK anyway). I honestly feel for women like your friend and I wish her every luck in the future xxx


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## Lola472

That's a tough question to answer I think because there are so many variables that come into play. I'm 16 and I would say I came from a pretty good family- I mean my mom's no June Cleaver but we wouldn't likely be seen on an episode of "Cops" either. So I know that compared to a lot of girls in my area I am very lucky. That being said, my mom still does not support my pregnancy as she was a teen mother herself. I would never have wanted to have a child at my age voluntarily. I was on the pill and an antibiotic I was taking caused it to not work. For me, this wouldn't be an ideal time for me to have a baby for several reasons. I am still in high school, I can't financially support a child by myself, I'm not legally an adult so I can't find my own place to live, and there were a lot of plans that I had for my life that a baby changes a bit. But since I am pregnant I am going to work so hard to make sure that I am in that minority. I think a lot of teen moms can't do it alone- whereas a woman who is older and has a good job may be able to. I think one of the hard things about being a teen mom is the fact that a lot (and granted this is a generalization and doesn't apply to all the guys) of teen dads do not step up and help out. I wouldn't advise any of my friends to go out and get pregnant because they thing babies are fun or a bump is cute. But then after I got past the "oh shit" when I saw those two red lines on that PG test, I feel like I grew up a lot.


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## birdiex

Sarah-Jane said:


> hollye said:
> 
> 
> i noticed noone had thought about this so figured i might aswell add this argument
> 
> my friend is 16 & turns 17 in august. shes got a condition that affects her fertility (im not sure what it is)
> 
> shes been told that if she doesnt get pregnant in the next few years she will not be able to get pregnant after that. she never really wanted kids but once she was told this her broodiness kicked in & shes become so depressed about the thought of not bein able to have a child, so shes decided to try.
> 
> I guess this shows that everyones situation is different & its foolish to just assume they are trying without some reason behind it, because a very small minority of girls might have really personal reasons.
> 
> i personally, after experiencing the love for my baby girl completely understand how she feels. so i do support her trying to get pregnant. i know some people will say she could adopt, but i know for some women the broodiness is all about having a baby growing inside them and everything. ive never seen someone want a baby so much, it is like its all she lives for.
> 
> I understand this reason hun... but 90% of teens that plan to get pregnant don't do it for these reasons, they do it coz they think it's 'cool', they think it's easy and they think they can get benefits and a house (they do in the UK anyway). I honestly feel for women like your friend and I wish her every luck in the future xxxClick to expand...

That is a very offensive and small-minded point of view. That would make 90% of the girls on here (who are certainly not like that), and I CERTAINLY DO NOT want my child for a house, for money or for 'street cred'! 

I've not read through the whole thread but I find myself incredibly offended. Just because you say 'no offence' (in the OP) does not make it less offensive, it is infact a precursor to offending somebody! If you say 'no offence' it means you are about to say something offensive. I don't know about you, but my mother always said if I have nothing nice to say I should say nothing at all. My pregnancy was planned, my baby is already very loved and I will not sit here and justify my reasons for becoming a mother at 17 to anybody because I know that this is the right time in my life to do this. I am stable financially, I have a home to live in (and the fact that this is with MIL pays absolutely no part because she's quickly becoming too unwell to look after herself, and therefore I help her because she is family. We will most likely live with her until she dies), and educationally, I have my life well sorted, thankyou very much. 

My reasons for planning a pregnancy are not yours to judge. I do not support the idea of schoolgirls planning pregnancies off the back of one-night-stands when they rely solely on their parents to maintin their menial existance, but their lives are NOT mine to judge. Walk a mile in someones shoes, as they say. I can safely say however that NONE of the girls on here are having children for benefits. I genuinely struggle to see how hot tea thinks it's a fabulous idea to post a thread like this in the teen forum, where a lot of pregnancies are planned, to say 'no offence' and go on to make some of the members feel very small and upset. What a ridiculous idea.

The majority of this post was not aimed at you Sarah-Jane, just the first paragraph.


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## prettymomtobe

This thread turned into one huge heated mess. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and no single post on this thread is going to change anyones viewpoint on teen pregnancy. Everyone needs to let this stuff roll off their back.


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## merakola

*That is a very offensive and small-minded point of view. That would make 90% of the girls on here (who are certainly not like that), and I CERTAINLY DO NOT want my child for a house, for money or for 'street cred'! 

I've not read through the whole thread but I find myself incredibly offended. Just because you say 'no offence' (in the OP) does not make it less offensive, it is infact a precursor to offending somebody! If you say 'no offence' it means you are about to say something offensive. I don't know about you, but my mother always said if I have nothing nice to say I should say nothing at all. My pregnancy was planned, my baby is already very loved and I will not sit here and justify my reasons for becoming a mother at 17 to anybody because I know that this is the right time in my life to do this. I am stable financially, I have a home to live in (and the fact that this is with MIL pays absolutely no part because she's quickly becoming too unwell to look after herself, and therefore I help her because she is family. We will most likely live with her until she dies), and educationally, I have my life well sorted, thankyou very much. 

My reasons for planning a pregnancy are not yours to judge. I do not support the idea of schoolgirls planning pregnancies off the back of one-night-stands when they rely solely on their parents to maintin their menial existance, but their lives are NOT mine to judge. Walk a mile in someones shoes, as they say. I can safely say however that NONE of the girls on here are having children for benefits. I genuinely struggle to see how hot tea thinks it's a fabulous idea to post a thread like this in the teen forum, where a lot of pregnancies are planned, to say 'no offence' and go on to make some of the members feel very small and upset. What a ridiculous idea.

The majority of this post was not aimed at you Sarah-Jane, just the first paragraph.
*


^^^^^^
I love the way you said this :happydance::thumbup:! Im not mad at the thread but we cant judge anybody by their decisions, i can never tell anybody when they should start to have kids.


----------



## birdiex

prettymomtobe said:


> This thread turned into one huge heated mess. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and no single post on this thread is going to change anyones viewpoint on teen pregnancy. Everyone needs to let this stuff roll off their back.

My point is though, if it's turned heated (which inevitably it would have done because however it's phrased it's derogatory and offensive), doesn't change anyones viewpoint or help anyone understand anything better and upsets everyone, what in God's sweet name was anybody thinking creating a topic like this in TEEN PREGNANCY? It makes my blood boil, people should think about eachother more before they go round voicing their opinions. Sometimes, opinions are a lot better off kept to oneself when they'll do more harm than good. I think this thread should be locked/deleted, it serves no purpose other than to rile and upset people. :thumbup:


----------



## prettymomtobe

birdiex said:


> prettymomtobe said:
> 
> 
> This thread turned into one huge heated mess. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and no single post on this thread is going to change anyones viewpoint on teen pregnancy. Everyone needs to let this stuff roll off their back.
> 
> My point is though, if it's turned heated (which inevitably it would have done because however it's phrased it's derogatory and offensive), doesn't change anyones viewpoint or help anyone understand anything better and upsets everyone, what in God's sweet name was anybody thinking creating a topic like this in TEEN PREGNANCY? It makes my blood boil, people should think about eachother more before they go round voicing their opinions. Sometimes, opinions are a lot better off kept to oneself when they'll do more harm than good. I think this thread should be locked/deleted, it serves no purpose other than to rile and upset people. :thumbup:Click to expand...

I agree 100%. The adult who made this thread caused nothing but fights and upset us all. This thread needs to be deleted. The more people post, the more tempers fly.


----------



## hot tea

If you cannot handle the thread, then do not post. This thread was a discussion. It is to talk about opinions in an adult like way. As long as you are firm and comfortable with your opinions then... What harm is there in hearing others?

Honestly I never meant to offend but yes I knew in posting this where teens, hormonal ones at that are, it could get messy! But I definitely admire angeleyez for hearjng my questions and turning it around. That spoke volumes of her and my respect is complete for her! Not that it is even necessary to her... Which imo only makes me more impressed!

I am for the most part very heartened by all responses in here. I find it so interesting to see all points of views, and have my own questioned. If you find it offensive, again, not my intention... Perhaps you are in the wrong thread?

This is not personal. Like I said, I am also a teen mom! I am no hypocrite, I will voice my opinions against myself as well. :) Perhaps I asked to much of some.


----------



## hot tea

prettymomtobe said:


> birdiex said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> prettymomtobe said:
> 
> 
> This thread turned into one huge heated mess. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and no single post on this thread is going to change anyones viewpoint on teen pregnancy. Everyone needs to let this stuff roll off their back.
> 
> My point is though, if it's turned heated (which inevitably it would have done because however it's phrased it's derogatory and offensive), doesn't change anyones viewpoint or help anyone understand anything better and upsets everyone, what in God's sweet name was anybody thinking creating a topic like this in TEEN PREGNANCY? It makes my blood boil, people should think about eachother more before they go round voicing their opinions. Sometimes, opinions are a lot better off kept to oneself when they'll do more harm than good. I think this thread should be locked/deleted, it serves no purpose other than to rile and upset people. :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> I agree 100%. The adult who made this thread caused nothing but fights and upset us all. This thread needs to be deleted. The more people post, the more tempers fly.Click to expand...

I am only 20. :nope: oh my goodness...


----------



## prettymomtobe

In the wrong thread?? Every single one of us have BEEN here. We were all friends and got along before this post and now it's like you turned us against each other. Adult manner? What the hell is the adult manner? Any adult will act the same way. When it comes to a persons opinion debates will happen!


----------



## birdiex

hot tea said:


> If you cannot handle the thread, then do not post. This thread was a discussion. It is to talk about opinions in an adult like way.

Hot tea, there is absolutely no sense in writing that. You knew that you would cause upset by posting that, so why would you bother? We are not 'children', and I'm sure we could talk about opinions in an adult manner. This is totally different though, you are posting in a forum about how you don't support planned teen pregnancies, and that is a large chunk of what is here. If you don't like it or support it, don't post in teen pregnancy!


----------



## emyandpotato

Only read the first page of posts but I actually wouldn't change anything if I could 'do-over' and have this baby in 5 or 10 years time. I'm 20 so not in school but not as financially stable as I would have liked, though I really think that this baby is the best thing ever to happen to me and my OH says the same thing. It isn't ideal from an outside perspective but I don't think I would have ever managed to be as happy and contented with myself and sure about what I wanted to do with my life had this not happened. 

I don't think anyone can 'support' teen pregnancy as it is not for us to support as a whole. Every individual is completely different and cannot just be lumped under a label. Even planned pregnancies have many individual reasons behind them, and often pregnancy in young people is not the big problem, but it is the parenting techniques of the majority of people who do get pregnant at a young age. I will probably get a lot of bad responses from this, though I don't mean to offend anyone at all on this forum, but I think that in the UK in particular the majority of young parents are from a poor and often badly educated background and it is the norm for them to have children young. I don't think that even if they waited 5 years they would necessarily raise their children differently as they are simply practicing the same parenting methods their own parents used, which we often disagree with.

I have just re-read this and just wanna say I DON'T mean that you can't be a good parent if you aren't rich/from a good family or background/have an amazing education, there is just a large percentage of people here where it is pretty much their culture to have children at a young age.


----------



## hot tea

... How am I supposed to know any of you ladies support planned teen pregnancies or not? How am I supposed to know that a good portion of you planned yours? My goodness! That os what this topic was for! 

I think there is a fair share of over reaction going on here. Clearly this topic got more heated than necessary. Perhaps it is best that it is shut down. But what a shame. I could easily start a thread in an adult section and have a very one sided opinion, which would be no I do NOT support them... But that is npt what I wanted out of it. 

It was never supposed to be a bash teen planned prenancies! It was supposed to be a two sided conversation between people who have been there on both opinions!


----------



## amygwen

birdiex said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> If you cannot handle the thread, then do not post. This thread was a discussion. It is to talk about opinions in an adult like way.
> 
> Hot tea, there is absolutely no sense in writing that. You knew that you would cause upset by posting that, so why would you bother? We are not 'children', and I'm sure we could talk about opinions in an adult manner. This is totally different though, you are posting in a forum about how you don't support planned teen pregnancies, and that is a large chunk of what is here. If you don't like it or support it, don't post in teen pregnancy!Click to expand...

I think this question being in the teen pregnancy part of the forum is actually a good thing. She wanted to know opinions from people who are experiencing teen pregnancies. Maybe we should put this question into the debates part of the forum then? That way, people who are way older than us who don't support planned or surprise teen pregnancies can butcher us even more?


----------



## heather92

I think it's okay to plan a pregnancy, if
1. The parents are both going to be finished high school by the time the LO arrives.
2. The parents are in a long-term relationship, and they're both prepared to become single parents if they have to.
3. They don't live with their parents.
4. They are financially prepared.

I've only met a few couples who were like that, and they're the ones who are doing the best. i.e. One of the couples has their own apartment, they both work, they've gotten married since the first LO arrived, and they were both out of high school before their LO was born (he graduated a year before she did). Other than under those conditions, I think planning a pregnancy is a bad idea. I know a lot of fantastic young moms, but the only ones who really seem happy are the ones with those traits.


----------



## birdiex

amygwen said:


> birdiex said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> If you cannot handle the thread, then do not post. This thread was a discussion. It is to talk about opinions in an adult like way.
> 
> Hot tea, there is absolutely no sense in writing that. You knew that you would cause upset by posting that, so why would you bother? We are not 'children', and I'm sure we could talk about opinions in an adult manner. This is totally different though, you are posting in a forum about how you don't support planned teen pregnancies, and that is a large chunk of what is here. If you don't like it or support it, don't post in teen pregnancy!Click to expand...
> 
> I think this question being in the teen pregnancy part of the forum is actually a good thing. She wanted to know opinions from people who are experiencing teen pregnancies. Maybe we should put this question into the debates part of the forum then? That way, people who are way older than us who don't support planned or surprise teen pregnancies can butcher us even more?Click to expand...

In a way I agree, but then again, I absolutely disagree because of the nature of the question.


----------



## merakola

i dont think hot tea intentionally came to this section to cause trouble i think she just wanted opinions which is nothing wrong with that. BUT I have read through the whole thread and some of the comments she may have said was just kind of "off" and i can see why some will take it disrespectful and some of the comments weren't about teen pregnancy. Like I said I dont think her intentions were bad but I guess she should have tought through how to say what she wanted to say before saying it. It just came out the wrong way now everybody is kind of piss which with some of the comments I dont blame them for being mad. And trust me I read through the WHOLEEE thread.


----------



## oOskittlesOo

hot tea said:


> ... How am I supposed to know any of you ladies support planned teen pregnancies or not? How am I supposed to know that a good portion of you planned yours? My goodness! That os what this topic was for!
> 
> I think there is a fair share of over reaction going on here. Clearly this topic got more heated than necessary. Perhaps it is best that it is shut down. But what a shame. I could easily start a thread in an adult section and have a very one sided opinion, which would be no I do NOT support them... But that is npt what I wanted out of it.
> 
> It was never supposed to be a bash teen planned prenancies! It was supposed to be a two sided conversation between people who have been there on both opinions!

I think it only got heated because of the negative posts that have been left. Yousjould know first hand we're more likely to take offense when it comes to teen pregnancy and parenting. Since we're all in the middle of it. We are really very mature girls on here who don't argue like on other teen forums but I really do think it was the nature of what has been said. I believe you weren't trying to cause argument, maybe next time it'd be best to word it differently? Everyone? We all need to be working together getting close not putting each other down and arguing.


----------



## hot tea

That is fair, seeing as this is quite a sensitive topic I should have broached my thoughts in a more sensitive manner, in retrospect. But I honestly did lol! I am a very upfront, blunt person in nature. I am used to having brutally honestly, unveiled conversations about everything. This cannot work for everyone, and it is my own fault for being short sighted.

Let us leave those short sighted thoughts behind. Or else just get the thread shut up... Because then the thread is defeated anyways and more people will just ge annoyed.


----------



## oOskittlesOo

Lol I'm the same wag hot tea and it gets me in trouble sometimes.. That's why I said it, I know from expierence i say things ppl take offense to when I'm not trying in any way.


----------



## jemsbabyblues

Me and my OH are planning to have children, but not yet obviously. When we have children we will both have our degrees, will have been together for 3 and a half years and will have lived together for two of them. We are financially and emotionally ready and we are 19/20 now. 

I don't think everyone should be so judgemental and assume that all people of a certain age behave the same. There isn't an optimal age to have children it's down to the individual person.

I wouldn't support a 14 year old planning children but an 18/19 year old in a stable relationship and living situation is absolutely fine :)


----------



## emyandpotato

jemsbabyblues said:


> I wouldn't support a 14 year old planning children but an 18/19 year old in a stable relationship and living situation is absolutely fine :)

When you're 14 you feel really old though, not that I would agree with it, but at 13 I remember seeing an episode of EastEnders where a 13 year old had a baby and thinking I was getting a bit on the old side :haha:


----------



## jemsbabyblues

Yeah, you do these days :haha:

Everyone matures at different times anyway :thumbup: I know some people who are in late 20s 30s and are not mature enough to look after a baby and would be (or have been) irresponsible parents.


----------



## dreabae

hot tea said:


> How am I supposed to know that a good portion of you planned yours? My goodness!
> 
> I think there is a fair share of over reaction going on here.
> 
> It was never supposed to be a bash teen planned prenancies! It was supposed to be a two sided conversation between people who have been there on both opinions!

If you wanted to know that mst the girls planned their pregnancies are didnt, go through the forum. We've had plenty of threads of people asking if LO was planned or not. Also go through all of us posted our stories.

Its not overreaction, You say its not suppose to bash planned teen pregnancies but the things some people said were very offensive. 

Your 20 and your having your second kid and If you planned that pregnancy your hating on your self because your not any older or any more mature than any of us. 

We come here for help and support, not to have some hypocrite get everyone pissed off.


----------



## syntaxerror

I think, unfortunately, that most girls think they're more mature than average (in the same way that most drivers think they're better than average drivers...) and consequently, most girls are going to think that THEY are ready for a baby, whether or not they are. (And I'm sure each of us knows at least one girl like this.)

If we try to agree on some age where planned reproduction is okay, someone is going to come out of the woodwork and say "but I had a planned child at 7 and I am a badass mommy!" I think no matter what, picking a number is going to come up arbitrary and cause some hurt feelings. Also, ages of majority and the responsibility of minors varies by country (and state?) causing additional complications.

I think a more debatable issue would be enforced birth control -- in the states, if you are under 18, your parents are responsible for you. If you have a child, they can't legally make you homeless or not feed you -- if you have a child, they essentially become partially or entirely responsible for it. So, then, is it a parent's right to enforce birth control on their minor children in order to prevent a pregnancy that they might have to support? If so, what kinds are okay? (hormonal? surgical/IUDs?) This would obviously interfere with teens TTC -- is it a person's 'right' to TTC while they're still dependent minors or is it a parent's right to enforce the temporary not-reproducing of their children?

I already have very defined opinions on this; I'd prefer to see how others feel about it.


----------



## preppymommy

syntaxerror said:


> I think, unfortunately, that most girls think they're more mature than average (in the same way that most drivers think they're better than average drivers...) and consequently, most girls are going to think that THEY are ready for a baby, whether or not they are. (And I'm sure each of us knows at least one girl like this.)
> 
> If we try to agree on some age where planned reproduction is okay, someone is going to come out of the woodwork and say "but I had a planned child at 7 and I am a badass mommy!" I think no matter what, picking a number is going to come up arbitrary and cause some hurt feelings. Also, ages of majority and the responsibility of minors varies by country (and state?) causing additional complications.
> 
> I think a more debatable issue would be enforced birth control -- in the states, if you are under 18, your parents are responsible for you. If you have a child, they can't legally make you homeless or not feed you -- if you have a child, they essentially become partially or entirely responsible for it. So, then, is it a parent's right to enforce birth control on their minor children in order to prevent a pregnancy that they might have to support? If so, what kinds are okay? (hormonal? surgical/IUDs?) This would obviously interfere with teens TTC -- is it a person's 'right' to TTC while they're still dependent minors or is it a parent's right to enforce the temporary not-reproducing of their children?
> 
> I already have very defined opinions on this; I'd prefer to see how others feel about it.

I dont think anything that can possibly mess with a young girls body is ok and no one should be forced to take hormones that can mess with your body, unless their is a definite mental delay(like severe autism or a developmental disability) that would render you unable to EVER take care of yourself/a child. I think education is really the key and schools should be doing more to educate teens on this.


----------



## hot tea

dreabae said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> How am I supposed to know that a good portion of you planned yours? My goodness!
> 
> I think there is a fair share of over reaction going on here.
> 
> It was never supposed to be a bash teen planned prenancies! It was supposed to be a two sided conversation between people who have been there on both opinions!
> 
> If you wanted to know that mst the girls planned their pregnancies are didnt, go through the forum. We've had plenty of threads of people asking if LO was planned or not. Also go through all of us posted our stories.
> 
> Its not overreaction, You say its not suppose to bash planned teen pregnancies but the things some people said were very offensive.
> 
> Your 20 and your having your second kid and If you planned that pregnancy your hating on your self because your not any older or any more mature than any of us.
> 
> We come here for help and support, not to have some hypocrite get everyone pissed off.Click to expand...

I did not plan this pregnancy. :thumbup:

I am not going to argue with you, it is a waste of time. :nope: if that is how you feel, ah well. But I am quite sure the continuous attacking responses to something I have already apologized for are completely out of place now. :wacko: not sure what else there is to even say to you...


----------



## hot tea

syntaxerror said:


> I think, unfortunately, that most girls think they're more mature than average (in the same way that most drivers think they're better than average drivers...) and consequently, most girls are going to think that THEY are ready for a baby, whether or not they are. (And I'm sure each of us knows at least one girl like this.)
> 
> If we try to agree on some age where planned reproduction is okay, someone is going to come out of the woodwork and say "but I had a planned child at 7 and I am a badass mommy!" I think no matter what, picking a number is going to come up arbitrary and cause some hurt feelings. Also, ages of majority and the responsibility of minors varies by country (and state?) causing additional complications.
> 
> I think a more debatable issue would be enforced birth control -- in the states, if you are under 18, your parents are responsible for you. If you have a child, they can't legally make you homeless or not feed you -- if you have a child, they essentially become partially or entirely responsible for it. So, then, is it a parent's right to enforce birth control on their minor children in order to prevent a pregnancy that they might have to support? If so, what kinds are okay? (hormonal? surgical/IUDs?) This would obviously interfere with teens TTC -- is it a person's 'right' to TTC while they're still dependent minors or is it a parent's right to enforce the temporary not-reproducing of their children?
> 
> I already have very defined opinions on this; I'd prefer to see how others feel about it.

I certainly do not think forcing birth control on minors is okay. Taking the right to their own body is just not alright to me. But then again, it is arguable that, do we not "force" our children to take medicine when they are sick? If it was just the norm, then the issue would not even be there. It would be expected when you are of a certain age.

Bur what of stds? I think that forcing some form of birth control, like an iud, would raise the amount of infected teenagers. Condoms would no longer be as popular, I think.


----------



## Char.due.jan

I do think planning a pregnancy when you're a teen is very irresponsible. There are many things to think about it isn't as black and white as bin financially stable, and you may be now but once your LO comes along you might not be. Babies are expensive!

I love my little boy to pieces and I wouldn't change it for the world now but looking back this would of been so much better if I'd of waited until my mid 20s.

I wish some girls would think before they start trying.


----------



## heather92

Whoa wait, enforcing birth control!? What are they going to do, drug them like a dog? It would be almost impossible to force someone to take birth control. And also, birth control makes some people very sick. Anything that messes with your body like that should be the person's choice and only theirs...


----------



## krys

I highly doubt she started this thread in hopes of arguing with a bunch of hormonal pregnant teenagers. She was trying to start an intelligent conversation, and hear our opinions, and in no way was she passing judgement. She was in the same boat as us at one point, she gets it. I understand that everyone has the right to their own opinion, so give it. That doesn't mean starting drama. Just goes to show that we are not all at the same maturity level. Don't twist her words and make her the bad guy.


----------



## syntaxerror

I noticed this issue a few years back when there was a big upset over a mother having an IUD put in her daughter (13 or 14 at the time, if I remember) because the girl had decided that she was determined to have a child and was sneaking off during school to have sex in the school bathrooms.

Her argument went that since her daughter was a minor, she wasn't supposed to be having sex/reproducing anyway and not only would this keep her from having a child she couldn't support, it'd cut off a lot of incentive to be engaging in risky behavior (theoretically discouraging her from having unprotected sex since it wouldn't get her pregnant anyway.) Thoughts?


----------



## heather92

syntaxerror said:


> I noticed this issue a few years back when there was a big upset over a mother having an IUD put in her daughter (13 or 14 at the time, if I remember) because the girl had decided that she was determined to have a child and was sneaking off during school to have sex in the school bathrooms.
> 
> Her argument went that since her daughter was a minor, she wasn't supposed to be having sex/reproducing anyway and not only would this keep her from having a child she couldn't support, it'd cut off a lot of incentive to be engaging in risky behavior (theoretically discouraging her from having unprotected sex since it wouldn't get her pregnant anyway.) Thoughts?

That's just so wrong. I don't see how anyone could say it was okay.


----------



## heather92

krys said:


> I highly doubt she started this thread in hopes of arguing with a bunch of hormonal pregnant teenagers. She was trying to start an intelligent conversation, and hear our opinions, and in no way was she passing judgement. She was in the same boat as us at one point, she gets it. I understand that everyone has the right to their own opinion, so give it. That doesn't mean starting drama. Just goes to show that we are not all at the same maturity level. Don't twist her words and make her the bad guy.

I totally agree with this. Some things said to an individual poster were rude, but if that poster wasn't offended, why are the rest of us angry? I don't think she was trying to start an argument at all, she just wanted our opinions on a controversial issue.


----------



## Angel.Mummy

syntaxerror said:


> I noticed this issue a few years back when there was a big upset over a mother having an IUD put in her daughter (13 or 14 at the time, if I remember) because the girl had decided that she was determined to have a child and was sneaking off during school to have sex in the school bathrooms.
> 
> Her argument went that since her daughter was a minor, she wasn't supposed to be having sex/reproducing anyway and not only would this keep her from having a child she couldn't support, it'd cut off a lot of incentive to be engaging in risky behavior (theoretically discouraging her from having unprotected sex since it wouldn't get her pregnant anyway.) Thoughts?

i think that sneaking of during school is wrong. but i also think that its the daughters decision, i think that the mother could just have spoke to the girl if she didn't think she was emotionally ready for a child. but thats just my opinion. xxx


----------



## krys

Angel.Mummy said:


> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> I noticed this issue a few years back when there was a big upset over a mother having an IUD put in her daughter (13 or 14 at the time, if I remember) because the girl had decided that she was determined to have a child and was sneaking off during school to have sex in the school bathrooms.
> 
> Her argument went that since her daughter was a minor, she wasn't supposed to be having sex/reproducing anyway and not only would this keep her from having a child she couldn't support, it'd cut off a lot of incentive to be engaging in risky behavior (theoretically discouraging her from having unprotected sex since it wouldn't get her pregnant anyway.) Thoughts?
> 
> i think that sneaking of during school is wrong. but i also think that its the daughters decision, i think that the mother could just have spoke to the girl if she didn't think she was emotionally ready for a child. but thats just my opinion. xxxClick to expand...

I don't think a 13-14 year old girl gets to make that decision. She was obviously supported by her mother meaning if she were to get pregnant, the child would be too. Honestly, I would put my daughter on birth control if she was under my roof and TRYING to get pregnant at such a young age. No 13 year old girl is capable of supporting a child on her own! Are you even legally allowed to work at such a young age?! This mother didn't want to have to support another child. I think she was pretty justified in what she did.


----------



## Sarah-Jane

birdiex said:


> Sarah-Jane said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hollye said:
> 
> 
> i noticed noone had thought about this so figured i might aswell add this argument
> 
> my friend is 16 & turns 17 in august. shes got a condition that affects her fertility (im not sure what it is)
> 
> shes been told that if she doesnt get pregnant in the next few years she will not be able to get pregnant after that. she never really wanted kids but once she was told this her broodiness kicked in & shes become so depressed about the thought of not bein able to have a child, so shes decided to try.
> 
> I guess this shows that everyones situation is different & its foolish to just assume they are trying without some reason behind it, because a very small minority of girls might have really personal reasons.
> 
> i personally, after experiencing the love for my baby girl completely understand how she feels. so i do support her trying to get pregnant. i know some people will say she could adopt, but i know for some women the broodiness is all about having a baby growing inside them and everything. ive never seen someone want a baby so much, it is like its all she lives for.
> 
> I understand this reason hun... but 90% of teens that plan to get pregnant don't do it for these reasons, they do it coz they think it's 'cool', they think it's easy and they think they can get benefits and a house (they do in the UK anyway). I honestly feel for women like your friend and I wish her every luck in the future xxxClick to expand...
> 
> That is a very offensive and small-minded point of view. That would make 90% of the girls on here (who are certainly not like that), and I CERTAINLY DO NOT want my child for a house, for money or for 'street cred'!
> 
> I've not read through the whole thread but I find myself incredibly offended. Just because you say 'no offence' (in the OP) does not make it less offensive, it is infact a precursor to offending somebody! If you say 'no offence' it means you are about to say something offensive. I don't know about you, but my mother always said if I have nothing nice to say I should say nothing at all. My pregnancy was planned, my baby is already very loved and I will not sit here and justify my reasons for becoming a mother at 17 to anybody because I know that this is the right time in my life to do this. I am stable financially, I have a home to live in (and the fact that this is with MIL pays absolutely no part because she's quickly becoming too unwell to look after herself, and therefore I help her because she is family. We will most likely live with her until she dies), and educationally, I have my life well sorted, thankyou very much.
> 
> My reasons for planning a pregnancy are not yours to judge. I do not support the idea of schoolgirls planning pregnancies off the back of one-night-stands when they rely solely on their parents to maintin their menial existance, but their lives are NOT mine to judge. Walk a mile in someones shoes, as they say. I can safely say however that NONE of the girls on here are having children for benefits. I genuinely struggle to see how hot tea thinks it's a fabulous idea to post a thread like this in the teen forum, where a lot of pregnancies are planned, to say 'no offence' and go on to make some of the members feel very small and upset. What a ridiculous idea.
> 
> The majority of this post was not aimed at you Sarah-Jane, just the first paragraph.Click to expand...

I really want to apologize for offending you hun... I really did not mean to. What I said came out COMPLETELY wrong and I'm pretty pissed off with myself for it! I was meant to say 90% of teens in my area that plan pregnancies do it for kicks (I live in a melt down of an area where you're literally scared to leave your front door). I've been part of this site for a few years now and know no one on here are doing it for benefits or anything else, as they're sensible enough to search for a site that offers support and which they are able to learn about pregnancy first hand. Once again, I'm so sorry I offended you. I'm really pleased you're financially and emotionally stable... but a lot of teens aren't (I want to say sensible) as you when they plan pregnancies. I honestly wish you all the luck in the world xxx


----------



## rainbows_x

I think very young girls purposely trying to get pregnant with no job, etc is irresponsible.

There's no way you could stop it though, there is birth control out there, but you cannot force girls to take it.
I was 19 when I fell pregnant and I still struggle, I cant for the life of me imagine being 13 and doing this without the security of my OH working and our own house.

Although, I know I'm not actually a teen anymore, but I class myself as a teen mother, and don't like the 'reputation' that some people give it, not all teens are kiving off the goverment/parents and palming their kids off to go out every weekend.


----------



## Angel.Mummy

krys said:


> Angel.Mummy said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> I noticed this issue a few years back when there was a big upset over a mother having an IUD put in her daughter (13 or 14 at the time, if I remember) because the girl had decided that she was determined to have a child and was sneaking off during school to have sex in the school bathrooms.
> 
> Her argument went that since her daughter was a minor, she wasn't supposed to be having sex/reproducing anyway and not only would this keep her from having a child she couldn't support, it'd cut off a lot of incentive to be engaging in risky behavior (theoretically discouraging her from having unprotected sex since it wouldn't get her pregnant anyway.) Thoughts?
> 
> i think that sneaking of during school is wrong. but i also think that its the daughters decision, i think that the mother could just have spoke to the girl if she didn't think she was emotionally ready for a child. but thats just my opinion. xxxClick to expand...
> 
> I don't think a 13-14 year old girl gets to make that decision. She was obviously supported by her mother meaning if she were to get pregnant, the child would be too. Honestly, I would put my daughter on birth control if she was under my roof and TRYING to get pregnant at such a young age. No 13 year old girl is capable of supporting a child on her own! Are you even legally allowed to work at such a young age?! This mother didn't want to have to support another child. I think she was pretty justified in what she did.Click to expand...

i think that you do get some girls that are capable of looking after a child at that age. you do get some jobs you can do at that age. i think to an point she was justified but i think it is the girls decision whether she wants the IUD, i don't think that anyone no matter what age they are should be forced to get something they don't want.... x


----------



## preppymommy

syntaxerror said:


> I noticed this issue a few years back when there was a big upset over a mother having an IUD put in her daughter (13 or 14 at the time, if I remember) because the girl had decided that she was determined to have a child and was sneaking off during school to have sex in the school bathrooms.
> 
> Her argument went that since her daughter was a minor, she wasn't supposed to be having sex/reproducing anyway and not only would this keep her from having a child she couldn't support, it'd cut off a lot of incentive to be engaging in risky behavior (theoretically discouraging her from having unprotected sex since it wouldn't get her pregnant anyway.) Thoughts?

If that was my daughter she would be in a all girls school so fast her head would spin.


----------



## heather92

preppymommy said:


> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> I noticed this issue a few years back when there was a big upset over a mother having an IUD put in her daughter (13 or 14 at the time, if I remember) because the girl had decided that she was determined to have a child and was sneaking off during school to have sex in the school bathrooms.
> 
> Her argument went that since her daughter was a minor, she wasn't supposed to be having sex/reproducing anyway and not only would this keep her from having a child she couldn't support, it'd cut off a lot of incentive to be engaging in risky behavior (theoretically discouraging her from having unprotected sex since it wouldn't get her pregnant anyway.) Thoughts?
> 
> If that was my daughter she would be in a all girls school so fast her head would spin.Click to expand...

I think that's a much better response than forcing her to take a medication that screws with her hormones. :thumbup:


----------



## sequeena

I started ttc at 19. My OH was 24 at the time. I'm 22 now, OH is almost 27 and I'm pregnant with our first. I feel much more confident and settled in myself, home life (have our own home etc) than I did at 19. I don't regret ttc when I did though simply because it took so bloody long.


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## syntaxerror

With respect to girls' schools -- what about people living in areas with only one real option (i.e. you live in a small town, are a single working parent, and your only option is the public school?)


----------



## preppymommy

yep :) the only case that I've heard of where I've completly agreed with the parents choice to have their daughter get the depo provera injection to make her infertile was a few years ago and the daughter had severe developmental/physical problems(she couldnt walk or talk) and they worried that if she was ever raped or something and concieved the child would have even worse problems.


----------



## preppymommy

syntaxerror said:


> With respect to girls' schools -- what about people living in areas with only one real option (i.e. you live in a small town, are a single working parent, and your only option is the public school?)

Oh no I understand that it's not an option for everybody but I just meant that I would take her out of a situation where she could sneak into a bathroom and have sex.


----------



## Bexxx

No...
I mean 18/19 isn't so bad, but 14/15 year olds getting pregnant isn't that great imo.


----------



## Angel.Mummy

preppymommy said:


> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> With respect to girls' schools -- what about people living in areas with only one real option (i.e. you live in a small town, are a single working parent, and your only option is the public school?)
> 
> Oh no I understand that it's not an option for everybody but I just meant that I would take her out of a situation where she could sneak into a bathroom and have sex.Click to expand...

but then could she not just find another way :/
i don't mean to sound cheeky or anything but if she really wants it she would find a way :/ x


----------



## preppymommy

Angel.Mummy said:


> preppymommy said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> With respect to girls' schools -- what about people living in areas with only one real option (i.e. you live in a small town, are a single working parent, and your only option is the public school?)
> 
> Oh no I understand that it's not an option for everybody but I just meant that I would take her out of a situation where she could sneak into a bathroom and have sex.Click to expand...
> 
> but then could she not just find another way :/
> i don't mean to sound cheeky or anything but if she really wants it she would find a way :/ xClick to expand...

True and also where are the teachers/other adults? someone should have dealt with the emotional side of this(maybe they did I cant imagine that surgery was the mothers first instinct)


----------



## Angel.Mummy

yeah, i understand that school proberly wasn't the best place to be doing it and there should of been teachers around. i think that maybe before the surgey the mother should have discovered the reason why her daughter wanted a baby so badly (maybe she did) and explained to her that babies aren't easy to look after. 

i know it sounds as if i'm being a hypocrite because i'm 14 and pregnant but i do know what bringing up a baby involves as i basically brought up my niece but anyway that is just my opinion. x


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## preppymommy

I think that both mother and daughter and anyone else who lived with them (father, siblings ect...) should have gone to counseling before it ever came to this.


----------



## Angel.Mummy

preppymommy said:


> I think that both mother and daughter and anyone else who lived with them (father, siblings ect...) should have gone to counseling before it ever came to this.

yes i agree :) xx


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## preppymommy

and the boy/s she was doing this with. It shouldnt be all on her


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## Angel.Mummy

yes because they obviously both knew what they were doing and the conciquencies (can't spell sorry :blush: ) so he should have to take some responsiblity about doing it in the toilets etc aswell x


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## preppymommy

haha it's ok :) really the whole thing is just screwed up. Does anybody know if she actually concieved?


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## syntaxerror

Right off hand, no, I don't...I think the daughter got the surgery but I'm not 100% sure on that, either.


----------



## preppymommy

yeah I cant imagine ever doing that to my child but I also dont want to be in a situation where it's even an issue.


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## Steph4Lee

I think it depends on the actual age and maturity levels, stable relationship, home, job etc.

I planned my DS when I was 18, I had been with my OH 3 and half years at the time and we used contraception up until TTC, it was 100% the right decision for us, we were stable, jobs, home, lived together. Im now 20, we are married have been together 5.5 years, expecting our second in September :)

I think the circumstances have to 100% right to 'support' the idea of planned teen pregnancy. I beleive it was the right age for us, and I wouldnt change a sinlge thing about our life or how its panned out. 

However I think 16/17 is to young to plan a child. I know I was 18 however I was very mature for my age due to problems in my past, ideally I think the best age is early 20's.


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## sarah0108

Can i ask one question?

Would you consider it irresponsible of me if i were to plan another baby now, being 18 with 2 babies already?


----------



## sequeena

sarah0108 said:


> Can i ask one question?
> 
> Would you consider it irresponsible of me if i were to plan another baby now, being 18 with 2 babies already?

Honestly? Yes, but I don't know anything about your life other than you're 18 and have 2 children x


----------



## sarah0108

Maybe im being a bit emotional today, but in all honesty i'm taking offense to some of the things said in this thread :wacko:


----------



## Angel.Mummy

sarah0108 said:


> Can i ask one question?
> 
> Would you consider it irresponsible of me if i were to plan another baby now, being 18 with 2 babies already?

if you think your ready for another kid and can handle it then no i don't think its irresponsible :hugs: xxx


----------



## sarah0108

thanks for you opinions :).


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## sequeena

sarah0108 said:


> Maybe im being a bit emotional today, but in all honesty i'm taking offense to some of the things said in this thread :wacko:

Don't take offence. I especially didn't mean to offend and only gave you that answer based on the little info you gave.


----------



## Angel.Mummy

sarah0108 said:


> Maybe im being a bit emotional today, but in all honesty i'm taking offense to some of the things said in this thread :wacko:

i do agree with this, but i think its just me being emotional as i'm crying at the slightest thing today :nope:


----------



## sarah0108

No it wasnt aimed at you personally ;) im just re-reading the thread as well lol


----------



## twickywabbit

I am 19 years old. When I think of TEEN PREGNANCY, I think of 13-17 year olds. 
In my opinion, I don't think 13-17 year olds are ready for that responsibility. 

I know I wasn't, so my (now) husband and I decided to not have sex until we were married. So we planned it out: Worked at BK together through high school, saved about 10 grand, we bought a house, after I graduated(he is a year ahead of me) we got married, then we both enrolled in college. He is in pharmacy school and I am currently in English Education. We pay our own mortgage and even though money can be tight, we are getting better. So, we decided to start TTC.

My point is, in my opinion, if you are of age and are in a good situation(with the father, not relying on your parents for everything, a little bit stable financially, not for the wrong reasons, etc etc) , then go for it! :) I just hope it is with someone you love and know is gonna be there for you, good or bad times and you have a good support system.

BTW, I admire all of you. I admire that you have opinions and voice them. I wish you all of the best.:hugs:


----------



## sequeena

Ah right, I've not read the entire thread lol people don't know you personally though, a lot of people will base their opinions on the stigma that a teenage parent has. If someone (in real life or online) can't see past that then that's their problem x


----------



## sarah0108

Im not going to voice my opinion because i know it'll cause an argument so i shall keep quiet BUT i dont think anyone can catergorise opinions on teen pregnancy, we're all in the same/similar boat.


----------



## Christine1993

I had my son when I was 16, and I am in no hurry to have another. I wouldn't plan another just now, I would want to be stable with money & have a stable home & job. I want to finish studying before I even think about having another one & I definitly want to be married before I have another child. I've not read the thread so don't know what's being said but that's my opinion


----------



## happydino

I dont think you should plan for a baby if you dont have a stable relationship, a house or finances NO MATTER WHAT AGE.
But if you do and just happen to be young then why not?
Not everyone sees having a kid young as 'sacrificing' themselves do to so.
I know some 30 year olds who make vile parents and sometimes worse because they like the independent life they have had for so long and dont want to give every second up to a baby so just throw money at the situation and hire nannys.
Then again I know some amazing 30 year old parents.
And I know some shoddy teen mums. But age isnt to do with it.


----------



## x__Hannah__x

In my opinion I think planning a baby if you're under 16 is totally unacceptable & wrong. I'm 19, fell pregnant with my baby girl when I was 17 and it wasn't planned, I felt I was mature enough to be a parent, I've been with my fiance for 2 years now, we've lived together for 18 months now and he works full-time 40+ hours a week. I felt I was emotionally ready. I think that at 17 & 18+ you can be emotionally ready to be a parent as long as you're financially stable etc and I don't think there's anything wrong with it.


----------



## sarah0108

i agree with you happydino. Age has NOTHING to do with it.


----------



## emyandpotato

heather92 said:


> preppymommy said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> I noticed this issue a few years back when there was a big upset over a mother having an IUD put in her daughter (13 or 14 at the time, if I remember) because the girl had decided that she was determined to have a child and was sneaking off during school to have sex in the school bathrooms.
> 
> Her argument went that since her daughter was a minor, she wasn't supposed to be having sex/reproducing anyway and not only would this keep her from having a child she couldn't support, it'd cut off a lot of incentive to be engaging in risky behavior (theoretically discouraging her from having unprotected sex since it wouldn't get her pregnant anyway.) Thoughts?
> 
> If that was my daughter she would be in a all girls school so fast her head would spin.Click to expand...
> 
> I think that's a much better response than forcing her to take a medication that screws with her hormones. :thumbup:Click to expand...

So many people can't afford that option though, and it wouldn't necessarily stop her sleeping around. EXACT same thing happened with a girl I knew, except she was 14 and did actually end up pregnant. Her parents talked to her, changed her school, gave her therapy, bought her a horse to distract her and nothing worked. It ended with her parents doing the majority of child care while she finished school and college, though to be fair she isn't a bad mother. I don't agree with forcing birth control on anyone but imagine that you are that child's mother (because at 13 you ARE still a child, at least to your parents) and imagine the absolute fear and panic you'd have about your own baby getting in to a situation you didn't think they were emotionally or even physically ready for.... I'm sure 14 year olds do have the potential in some cases to be good parents, I'm looking at the parent's perspective.


----------



## Ozzieshunni

I'm content with my decision to have a baby at 24 because I personally feel ready and that I've accomplished what I needed to so far. I wouldn't judge anyone that fell pregnant as a teen accidentally. I worry that girls in our society are taught to grow up too quickly though and start having sex at way too young an age. Teen pregnancy to me is 13-17 because at 18 (at least in my mind) you are considered an adult. I think that girls need to consider their options if they are planning a pregnancy. Some people that are not teens fall pregnant and aren't the best off financially. I suppose it's a very heated topic. I would like to say that planning a teen pregnancy is irresponsible, but like someone mentioned, what if they have a medical condition? I think it all depends on circumstances.


----------



## emyandpotato

happydino said:


> I dont think you should plan for a baby if you dont have a stable relationship, a house or finances NO MATTER WHAT AGE.
> But if you do and just happen to be young then why not?
> Not everyone sees having a kid young as 'sacrificing' themselves do to so.
> I know some 30 year olds who make vile parents and sometimes worse because they like the independent life they have had for so long and dont want to give every second up to a baby so just throw money at the situation and hire nannys.
> Then again I know some amazing 30 year old parents.
> And I know some shoddy teen mums. But age isnt to do with it.

Completely agree with everything you just said.


----------



## x__amour

Hmmm. :-k Alrighty, here we go. I'm very torn upon this and I really think it depends on what kind of situation you're in, kwim? Does that mean I support 13, 14 year olds planning pregnancy? Yeah, no. Not so much. But if they were like 18? Uh, yeah. Nothing wrong with that. I was 18 and NTNP and my Tori, she is my world. I'm so glad I had her. There's a lot of case factors and the biggest thing is how mature you are. It really just depends on how you live and what choices you make. It all really just depends on your circumstances.


----------



## jemsbabyblues

I'm not going to judge anyone because I don't know you all well enough personally to have an opinion on you all :)

The only time I probably would consider someone to be irresponsible would be if they intentionally planned to have a baby knowing that they either: were not with the right person, could not pay for the baby off their own back and could not give a baby the life that it deserves.

To be honest, I don't care too much about the age people plan babies. Who are we to judge when we don't know anything about teen parents other than their age? As long as the babies are loved and cared for well by a couple then I couldn't care less what age they are. 

I'm not offended by anyone's opinions on here but I can understand why some people would be. I just wish the world would be a bit less judgemental sometimes!


----------



## sarah0108

hot tea said:


> I am a fellow young mom, had my first at 17, so please do not take offense! :thumbup:
> 
> So, my question for all you ladies is... Do you support teen pregnancies? Or I should specify, planned teen pregnancy? Obviously things happen and all children should be cherished,* but a planned baby for a young girl of say 16 to 18? *
> 
> I love my son more than life itself and he absolutely saved my life. He lives a very normal life and wants for nothing. This did not come without cost of myself... But that is the choice you make when you have sex at a young age. :thumbup: I do not support teen pregnancies, though. By not support them I just mean planned teen pregnancy. Maybe because I believe moms like me are a minority, not the majority. Most teen moms I know... Actually all I know in person, I would never associate with because of their parenting standards.
> 
> *Please note there is NO judgement for any of you individual ladies*, I just wanted to hear your thoughts and your aspirations and your beliefs! Thought it might be an interesting topic. :winkwink:

This doesnt make sense :wacko:, how are the pregnant teens on here that may have planned a pregnancy at a young age, any different to ones IRL?


----------



## annawrigley

hot tea said:


> Motherhood is such a huge responsibility. I just think it should be left for an older age group. At a young age your brain is not fully developed yet, you are not fully matured... Obviously amazing mommies come from all age groups but that is surely hindering.

Entirely disagree.



MissyBee said:


> I don't support planned teen pregnancy. I'm 20 years old, and this pregnancy was definitely not expected. I'll be fine financially, no problems there. But I don't know how emotionally stable I am right now. I'm still so young. I think it's foolish for a teenage girl to plan a pregnancy. *The majority of these girls still live with their parents, and it's awful to basically force your family to take care of your baby for you with no consideration on your part. *If it's unplanned, that's a whole different story, but to just decide to do that? And then what about that child? I just think it's better to wait if you are going to try to have a baby. Accidents happen and I have a ton of respect for the young women who make the best of their situation and push through it for their child, but to plan bringing a baby into a less than ideal situation is wrong in my opinion.

Umm every girl I've seen on here who lived with their parents took care of their OWN child, what a weird and offensive generalisation to make :wacko:



preppymommy said:


> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> I noticed this issue a few years back when there was a big upset over a mother having an IUD put in her daughter (13 or 14 at the time, if I remember) because the girl had decided that she was determined to have a child and was sneaking off during school to have sex in the school bathrooms.
> 
> Her argument went that since her daughter was a minor, she wasn't supposed to be having sex/reproducing anyway and not only would this keep her from having a child she couldn't support, it'd cut off a lot of incentive to be engaging in risky behavior (theoretically discouraging her from having unprotected sex since it wouldn't get her pregnant anyway.) Thoughts?
> 
> If that was my daughter she would be in a all girls school so fast her head would spin.Click to expand...

The girls I know from all-girls' schools are the biggest sluts I know, LOL.



Steph4Lee said:


> I think it depends on the actual age and maturity levels, stable relationship, home, job etc.
> 
> I planned my DS when I was 18, I had been with my OH 3 and half years at the time and we used contraception up until TTC, it was 100% the right decision for us, we were stable, jobs, home, lived together. Im now 20, we are married have been together 5.5 years, expecting our second in September :)
> 
> I think the circumstances have to 100% right to 'support' the idea of planned teen pregnancy. I beleive it was the right age for us, and I wouldnt change a sinlge thing about our life or how its panned out.
> 
> *However I think 16/17 is to young to plan a child. I know I was 18 however I was very mature for my age due to problems in my past, ideally I think the best age is early 20's.*

Right so... You were 18 but you were the exception the the rule because you were mature. If you had been what, a few months younger at 17 you would be too young? I don't get this statement at all. How can you put an "acceptable" age on it then in the same breath excuse yourself from that?


----------



## annawrigley

This thread is gonna cause nothing but upset, it's basically just a thread saying "If you planned your pregnancy you're shit and irresponsible, if not well done you for standing up to your responsibilites".

Take a step back. We are ALL good mums (or mums-to-be), we all want the best for our kids so stop with the damn judging already! I planned Noah at 16, couldn't care less if any of you think that's irresponsible or immature, maybe it was but hey I'm doing great and have a beautiful son who adores me and wants for nothing. I agree with "age is just a number" to an EXTENT, obv I'm not gonna say hey age is just a number lets all get pregnant at 12, but in some ways yeah you can take care of a child at 17 just as well as you can at 30.

Also OP, I wouldn't normally pick on this but I take offence to your thread sooo I will, you have 2 unplanned children, how'd that one work? After the first weren't you taking precautions?


----------



## emyandpotato

sarah0108 said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I am a fellow young mom, had my first at 17, so please do not take offense! :thumbup:
> 
> So, my question for all you ladies is... Do you support teen pregnancies? Or I should specify, planned teen pregnancy? Obviously things happen and all children should be cherished,* but a planned baby for a young girl of say 16 to 18? *
> 
> I love my son more than life itself and he absolutely saved my life. He lives a very normal life and wants for nothing. This did not come without cost of myself... But that is the choice you make when you have sex at a young age. :thumbup: I do not support teen pregnancies, though. By not support them I just mean planned teen pregnancy. Maybe because I believe moms like me are a minority, not the majority. Most teen moms I know... Actually all I know in person, I would never associate with because of their parenting standards.
> 
> *Please note there is NO judgement for any of you individual ladies*, I just wanted to hear your thoughts and your aspirations and your beliefs! Thought it might be an interesting topic. :winkwink:
> 
> This doesnt make sense :wacko:, how are the pregnant teens on here that may have planned a pregnancy at a young age, any different to ones IRL?Click to expand...

Everyone always says no judgement, but of course every does judge without even trying. I think she means that the majority of girls on here aren't stereotypical teenage parents that she's referring to as to be fair the 'bad' parents aren't as likely to be found on a parenting forum. I think the majority also didn't plan their pregnancies, so she probably assumed that was true for all the younger girls on here and means she doesn't want to offend anyone with accidental pregnancies.


----------



## heather92

emyandpotato said:


> heather92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> preppymommy said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> I noticed this issue a few years back when there was a big upset over a mother having an IUD put in her daughter (13 or 14 at the time, if I remember) because the girl had decided that she was determined to have a child and was sneaking off during school to have sex in the school bathrooms.
> 
> Her argument went that since her daughter was a minor, she wasn't supposed to be having sex/reproducing anyway and not only would this keep her from having a child she couldn't support, it'd cut off a lot of incentive to be engaging in risky behavior (theoretically discouraging her from having unprotected sex since it wouldn't get her pregnant anyway.) Thoughts?
> 
> If that was my daughter she would be in a all girls school so fast her head would spin.Click to expand...
> 
> I think that's a much better response than forcing her to take a medication that screws with her hormones. :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> So many people can't afford that option though, and it wouldn't necessarily stop her sleeping around. EXACT same thing happened with a girl I knew, except she was 14 and did actually end up pregnant. Her parents talked to her, changed her school, gave her therapy, bought her a horse to distract her and nothing worked. It ended with her parents doing the majority of child care while she finished school and college, though to be fair she isn't a bad mother. I don't agree with forcing birth control on anyone but imagine that you are that child's mother (because at 13 you ARE still a child, at least to your parents) and imagine the absolute fear and panic you'd have about your own baby getting in to a situation you didn't think they were emotionally or even physically ready for.... I'm sure 14 year olds do have the potential in some cases to be good parents, I'm looking at the parent's perspective.Click to expand...

I'm looking at it from the perspective of someone who got seriously ill from birth control. Some of the possible side effects from birth control are really scary. Birth control is a good thing if the woman makes an educated choice, but I don't think anyone should be forced to take any medication that can do permanent harm to their body. :shrug: I agree that it would be upsetting for the parents, but I think they should have drawn the line before forcing birth control on her. (I do think the counseling, etc were good.) At some point parents have to just let go and let their teenager make her own decisions, even if they're bad ones, kwim?


----------



## preppymommy

heather92 said:


> emyandpotato said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> heather92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> preppymommy said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> I noticed this issue a few years back when there was a big upset over a mother having an IUD put in her daughter (13 or 14 at the time, if I remember) because the girl had decided that she was determined to have a child and was sneaking off during school to have sex in the school bathrooms.
> 
> Her argument went that since her daughter was a minor, she wasn't supposed to be having sex/reproducing anyway and not only would this keep her from having a child she couldn't support, it'd cut off a lot of incentive to be engaging in risky behavior (theoretically discouraging her from having unprotected sex since it wouldn't get her pregnant anyway.) Thoughts?
> 
> If that was my daughter she would be in a all girls school so fast her head would spin.Click to expand...
> 
> I think that's a much better response than forcing her to take a medication that screws with her hormones. :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> So many people can't afford that option though, and it wouldn't necessarily stop her sleeping around. EXACT same thing happened with a girl I knew, except she was 14 and did actually end up pregnant. Her parents talked to her, changed her school, gave her therapy, bought her a horse to distract her and nothing worked. It ended with her parents doing the majority of child care while she finished school and college, though to be fair she isn't a bad mother. I don't agree with forcing birth control on anyone but imagine that you are that child's mother (because at 13 you ARE still a child, at least to your parents) and imagine the absolute fear and panic you'd have about your own baby getting in to a situation you didn't think they were emotionally or even physically ready for.... I'm sure 14 year olds do have the potential in some cases to be good parents, I'm looking at the parent's perspective.Click to expand...
> 
> I'm looking at it from the perspective of someone who got seriously ill from birth control. Some of the possible side effects from birth control are really scary. Birth control is a good thing if the woman makes an educated choice, but I don't think anyone should be forced to take any medication that can do permanent harm to their body. :shrug: I agree that it would be upsetting for the parents, but I think they should have drawn the line before forcing birth control on her. (I do think the counseling, etc were good.) At some point parents have to just let go and let their teenager make her own decisions, even if they're bad ones, kwim?Click to expand...

I agree with making your own decisions but her choices would affect another person (the baby) and I dont think thats ok.


----------



## emyandpotato

heather92 said:


> emyandpotato said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> heather92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> preppymommy said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> I noticed this issue a few years back when there was a big upset over a mother having an IUD put in her daughter (13 or 14 at the time, if I remember) because the girl had decided that she was determined to have a child and was sneaking off during school to have sex in the school bathrooms.
> 
> Her argument went that since her daughter was a minor, she wasn't supposed to be having sex/reproducing anyway and not only would this keep her from having a child she couldn't support, it'd cut off a lot of incentive to be engaging in risky behavior (theoretically discouraging her from having unprotected sex since it wouldn't get her pregnant anyway.) Thoughts?
> 
> If that was my daughter she would be in a all girls school so fast her head would spin.Click to expand...
> 
> I think that's a much better response than forcing her to take a medication that screws with her hormones. :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> So many people can't afford that option though, and it wouldn't necessarily stop her sleeping around. EXACT same thing happened with a girl I knew, except she was 14 and did actually end up pregnant. Her parents talked to her, changed her school, gave her therapy, bought her a horse to distract her and nothing worked. It ended with her parents doing the majority of child care while she finished school and college, though to be fair she isn't a bad mother. I don't agree with forcing birth control on anyone but imagine that you are that child's mother (because at 13 you ARE still a child, at least to your parents) and imagine the absolute fear and panic you'd have about your own baby getting in to a situation you didn't think they were emotionally or even physically ready for.... I'm sure 14 year olds do have the potential in some cases to be good parents, I'm looking at the parent's perspective.Click to expand...
> 
> I'm looking at it from the perspective of someone who got seriously ill from birth control. Some of the possible side effects from birth control are really scary. Birth control is a good thing if the woman makes an educated choice, but I don't think anyone should be forced to take any medication that can do permanent harm to their body. :shrug: I agree that it would be upsetting for the parents, but I think they should have drawn the line before forcing birth control on her. (I do think the counseling, etc were good.) At some point parents have to just let go and let their teenager make her own decisions, even if they're bad ones, kwim?Click to expand...

Oh no I completely agree that forcing surgery on someone is never a good idea. If it was my daughter I would most probably insist she went on the pill as it's not as major a decision, but then there is no guarantee she'd take it. I'd probably beg and bribe her to get the injection tbh, or resort to grounding her and informing the school. It's such a rare situation though, and the poor girl must have been so unhappy and troubled to be so desperate for the love and attention she thought a baby would bring.


----------



## syntaxerror

heather92 said:


> At some point parents have to just let go and let their teenager make her own decisions, even if they're bad ones, kwim?

Even when the parents are legally responsible for the outcome of those decisions?

And even when the baby may suffer for it?


----------



## annawrigley

Forcing birth control on anyone, of any age, is entirely wrong and a complete breach of human rights. Don't know how it's even up for debate tbh, it's just disgusting.


----------



## x__Hannah__x

OT - but I just seen your sig Anna read it wrong thought you were preg again :haha:


----------



## annawrigley

x__Hannah__x said:


> OT - but I just seen your sig Anna read it wrong thought you were preg again :haha:

Hahaha, noooo! Woulda been keeping that one quiet the last 19 weeks ;) FOB's sister is having a little girl, I'm soo excited! Her and Noah will be 18 months apart :D xx


----------



## sarah0108

emyandpotato said:


> sarah0108 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I am a fellow young mom, had my first at 17, so please do not take offense! :thumbup:
> 
> So, my question for all you ladies is... Do you support teen pregnancies? Or I should specify, planned teen pregnancy? Obviously things happen and all children should be cherished,* but a planned baby for a young girl of say 16 to 18? *
> 
> I love my son more than life itself and he absolutely saved my life. He lives a very normal life and wants for nothing. This did not come without cost of myself... But that is the choice you make when you have sex at a young age. :thumbup: I do not support teen pregnancies, though. By not support them I just mean planned teen pregnancy. Maybe because I believe moms like me are a minority, not the majority. Most teen moms I know... Actually all I know in person, I would never associate with because of their parenting standards.
> 
> *Please note there is NO judgement for any of you individual ladies*, I just wanted to hear your thoughts and your aspirations and your beliefs! Thought it might be an interesting topic. :winkwink:
> 
> This doesnt make sense :wacko:, how are the pregnant teens on here that may have planned a pregnancy at a young age, any different to ones IRL?Click to expand...
> 
> Everyone always says no judgement, but of course every does judge without even trying. I think she means that the majority of girls on here aren't stereotypical teenage parents that she's referring to as to be fair the 'bad' parents aren't as likely to be found on a parenting forum. I think the majority also didn't plan their pregnancies, so she probably assumed that was true for all the younger girls on here and means she doesn't want to offend anyone with accidental pregnancies.Click to expand...

:dohh:, what about offending those who DID plan their pregnancy/ies?


----------



## sarah0108

annawrigley said:


> x__Hannah__x said:
> 
> 
> OT - but I just seen your sig Anna read it wrong thought you were preg again :haha:
> 
> Hahaha, noooo! Woulda been keeping that one quiet the last 19 weeks ;) FOB's sister is having a little girl, I'm soo excited! Her and Noah will be 18 months apart :D xxClick to expand...

Hannah, i think she's lying to throw us off the scent and is secretly going to surprise us with a bump picture :rofl: :winkwink:


----------



## heather92

annawrigley said:


> x__Hannah__x said:
> 
> 
> OT - but I just seen your sig Anna read it wrong thought you were preg again :haha:
> 
> Hahaha, noooo! Woulda been keeping that one quiet the last 19 weeks ;) FOB's sister is having a little girl, I'm soo excited! Her and Noah will be 18 months apart :D xxClick to expand...

Haha well congrats, that's exciting. :D


----------



## syntaxerror

annawrigley said:


> Forcing birth control on anyone, of any age, is entirely wrong and a complete breach of human rights. Don't know how it's even up for debate tbh, it's just disgusting.

This assumes, I think, that everyone is entitled to reproduce at will. This is a nice theory, in concept, but completely disregards ethical and environmental considerations (including the tragedy of the commons and concerns regarding carrying capacity.) 

Consequently, I feel that this is a different discussion entirely. The forced birth control, I think, addresses whether a minor has a right to physical autonomy at the expense of her parents' right to refuse the potential addition of more minors for whom they would be responsible. Bringing 'human rights' (as it pertains to the right to reproduce) into it brings in an entire other component and I think that trying to overlap the topics opens up an insurmountable obstacle in the form of an infinite regress of justification.

Unless, of course, the argument you're offering is that individuals have an inalienable right to reproduce regardless of age, legal status, financial standing, or parental consent. If that's the case, cool, that's your opinion -- can you support it without resorting to opposing supported views as "just disgusting?"


----------



## syntaxerror

And on that note, I'm 3 pages into a 10 page paper due tomorrow that I just...don't...want to finish. 

Debating on a teen pregnancy forum: probably not productive. But dammit, it's more fun than staring at a paper I couldn't care less about.


----------



## amygwen

syntaxerror said:


> And on that note, I'm 3 pages into a 10 page paper due tomorrow that I just...don't...want to finish.
> 
> Debating on a teen pregnancy forum: probably not productive. But dammit, it's more fun than staring at a paper I couldn't care less about.


LOL omg! I'm doing the same thing too!!
Except mine's a 20 page research paper due May 10th.. haha I keep thinking, "Oh I'll do my paper another day!" so I'm just BNBing :)


----------



## emyandpotato

syntaxerror said:


> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> Forcing birth control on anyone, of any age, is entirely wrong and a complete breach of human rights. Don't know how it's even up for debate tbh, it's just disgusting.
> 
> This assumes, I think, that everyone is entitled to reproduce at will. This is a nice theory, in concept, but completely disregards ethical and environmental considerations (including the tragedy of the commons and concerns regarding carrying capacity.)
> 
> Consequently, I feel that this is a different discussion entirely. The forced birth control, I think, addresses whether a minor has a right to physical autonomy at the expense of her parents' right to refuse the potential addition of more minors for whom they would be responsible. Bringing 'human rights' (as it pertains to the right to reproduce) into it brings in an entire other component and I think that trying to overlap the topics opens up an insurmountable obstacle in the form of an infinite regress of justification.
> 
> Unless, of course, the argument you're offering is that individuals have an inalienable right to reproduce regardless of age, legal status, financial standing, or parental consent. If that's the case, cool, that's your opinion -- can you support it without resorting to opposing supported views as "just disgusting?"Click to expand...

I agree with what you've said BUT beginning to dictate how can and cannot have children is the beginnings of a moral battle over how much control it is acceptable to take over the lives of others. If it becomes okay for people to enforce birth control on others it may spiral to a control on many other aspects of people's lives.


----------



## princess_vix

Edit!


----------



## princess_vix

Sarah Hun,
I don't think it's atall irresponsible for you to be thinking about baby no.3 that is your decision,you work,and you already have to gorgeous kids wh are well provided for looked after and you have the experience..i think you have every right to go ahead and get baby number 3 on the go (i am saying this aswell cos i wanna see another cutie on your facebook )

Personally i think planning for a baby between the ages of 13-17 is a bit odd but hey-ho just my opinion.)

I'm 18 and am TTC my second


----------



## syntaxerror

emyandpotato said:


> I agree with what you've said BUT beginning to dictate how can and cannot have children is the beginnings of a moral battle over how much control it is acceptable to take over the lives of others. If it becomes okay for people to enforce birth control on others it may spiral to a control on many other aspects of people's lives.

Your'e right. Given the earth's limited carrying capacity, though, this is a discussion that *must* come up at some point (granted, probably not on a teen pregnancy forum.) I'm 100% in favor of individual liberties -- but I also acknowledge that limited resources do engender a tragedy of the commons scenario. I very much believe that reproductive limits will have to be determined and enforced at some point by some agency (government or NGO is debatable), particularly in light of data that indicates that, unlike most other species, humans do NOT curb reproduction when faced with diminished or extinguished resources; if anything, as a species, we reproduce more often given these conditions and it's detrimental on a species-wide (and ecosystem-wide) level --

although that has nothing to do with appropriate reproductive age. So probably a moot point on my part.


----------



## sarah0108

princess_vix said:


> Sarah Hun,
> I don't think it's atall irresponsible for you to be thinking about baby no.3 that is your decision,you work,and you already have to gorgeous kids wh are well provided for looked after and you have the experience..i think you have every right to go ahead and get baby number 3 on the go (i am saying this aswell cos i wanna see another cutie on your facebook )
> 
> Personally i think planning for a baby between the ages of 13-17 is a bit odd but hey-ho just my opinion.)
> 
> I'm 18 and am TTC my second

Thank you :D! we've been talkng tonight and thinking of trying nov/dec 2012 :) so about a year and half to wait :haha:

and good luck TTC :hugs: xxx


----------



## princess_vix

sarah0108 said:


> princess_vix said:
> 
> 
> Sarah Hun,
> I don't think it's atall irresponsible for you to be thinking about baby no.3 that is your decision,you work,and you already have to gorgeous kids wh are well provided for looked after and you have the experience..i think you have every right to go ahead and get baby number 3 on the go (i am saying this aswell cos i wanna see another cutie on your facebook )
> 
> Personally i think planning for a baby between the ages of 13-17 is a bit odd but hey-ho just my opinion.)
> 
> I'm 18 and am TTC my second
> 
> Thank you :D! we've been talkng tonight and thinking of trying nov/dec 2012 :) so about a year and half to wait :haha:
> 
> and good luck TTC :hugs: xxxClick to expand...


Oh awesome..my way of seeing it for me as i want to study midwifery is get my kiddies born and then once in school i can go and study so hopefully close-ish age gaps so i can study real hard then..but is okay as OH has a job.

Yeah thanks hun am hoping it goes quick,think may take me a while :(


----------



## sarah0108

:hugs: im sure it'll happen soon hun!!

and yeah same with me :haha: im meant to be applying for an access course next year for midwifery!! x


----------



## jc_catt

hot tea said:


> I did not mean to offend. As I stated. But... Sorry if I did! :)

Um, ok. I'm kind tired of this whole "not trying to be rude" Bull Sh*t. You are
CLEARLY being rude. Also, this a forum for teen who need consoling. YOU 
are both NOT a teen and NOT consoling anyone. So if your gonna go around 
judging people for things this thread isn't even about. You may wanna shut
the f*ck up. Because we are judged EVERYDAY and will be for now on, that
is what this forum does. We have lost friends, independence, and security. 
So you do NO good by coming in here and upsetting people who have to work
their asses off to do what is right for their baby. And as far as maturity goes,
the way I see it, Your the most immature person on this site. They gave us a
special section so we don't have to deal with ignorant, rude people like you.
Thank you.
Oh, and, not trying to be rude...


----------



## princess_vix

jc_catt said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I did not mean to offend. As I stated. But... Sorry if I did! :)
> 
> Um, ok. I'm kind tired of this whole "not trying to be rude" Bull Sh*t. You are
> CLEARLY being rude. Also, this a forum for teen who need consoling. YOU
> are both NOT a teen and NOT consoling anyone. So if your gonna go around
> judging people for things this thread isn't even about. You may wanna shut
> the f*ck up. Because we are judged EVERYDAY and will be for now on, that
> is what this forum does. We have lost friends, independence, and security.
> So you do NO good by coming in here and upsetting people who have to work
> their asses off to do what is right for their baby. And as far as maturity goes,
> the way I see it, Your the most immature person on this site. They gave us a
> special section so we don't have to deal with ignorant, rude people like you.
> Thank you.
> Oh, and, not trying to be rude...Click to expand...

HA-HA I LOVE IT :thumbup:

SOOOO NOSEY SHE IS TOO!!


----------



## heather92

jc_catt said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I did not mean to offend. As I stated. But... Sorry if I did! :)
> 
> Um, ok. I'm kind tired of this whole "not trying to be rude" Bull Sh*t. You are
> CLEARLY being rude. Also, this a forum for teen who need consoling. YOU
> are both NOT a teen and NOT consoling anyone. So if your gonna go around
> judging people for things this thread isn't even about. You may wanna shut
> the f*ck up. Because we are judged EVERYDAY and will be for now on, that
> is what this forum does. We have lost friends, independence, and security.
> So you do NO good by coming in here and upsetting people who have to work
> their asses off to do what is right for their baby. And as far as maturity goes,
> the way I see it, Your the most immature person on this site. They gave us a
> special section so we don't have to deal with ignorant, rude people like you.
> Thank you.
> Oh, and, not trying to be rude...Click to expand...

I'm not going to argue with anything else you said, but I'm pretty sure the OP is actually a teen mom. She said she had her first at age 17, and he isn't even three yet if I'm reading her sig correctly.


----------



## princess_vix

Bit of a pointless thread i guess...was bound to upset really x


----------



## jc_catt

heather92 said:


> jc_catt said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I did not mean to offend. As I stated. But... Sorry if I did! :)
> 
> Um, ok. I'm kind tired of this whole "not trying to be rude" Bull Sh*t. You are
> CLEARLY being rude. Also, this a forum for teen who need consoling. YOU
> are both NOT a teen and NOT consoling anyone. So if your gonna go around
> judging people for things this thread isn't even about. You may wanna shut
> the f*ck up. Because we are judged EVERYDAY and will be for now on, that
> is what this forum does. We have lost friends, independence, and security.
> So you do NO good by coming in here and upsetting people who have to work
> their asses off to do what is right for their baby. And as far as maturity goes,
> the way I see it, Your the most immature person on this site. They gave us a
> special section so we don't have to deal with ignorant, rude people like you.
> Thank you.
> Oh, and, not trying to be rude...Click to expand...
> 
> I'm not going to argue with anything else you said, but I'm pretty sure the OP is actually a teen mom. She said she had her first at age 17, and he isn't even three yet if I'm reading her sig correctly.Click to expand...

I don't care(i'm honestly not trying to be rude to you AT ALL) but she's 
saying bitchy things and adding "no offence" or "not trying to be rude".
Well GUESS WHAT LADY??? YOUR RUDE! lol. She just says awful things,
and we don't need to hear that, if our decision was dumb to have a baby,
we will find out. No need to tell us. Very pointless and rude. But, I
understand what your saying, I also considered that before I posted this.
But I decided that she should have known better as a teen mom herself,
TTC or not.


----------



## JoJo16

^^ you basically just said exactly what you didnt like the OP saying lol


----------



## jc_catt

princess_vix said:


> Bit of a pointless thread i guess...was bound to upset really x

True, and your son is ADORABLE XD


----------



## jc_catt

JoJo16 said:


> ^^ you basically just said exactly what you didnt like the OP saying lol

What? Oh, the rude thing? I meant I wasn't trying to be rude to the woman I 
responded to, not Hot.Tea. I am quite sure I was rude to her. lol. All I was
actually trying to say(hormones are already goin crazy right now so best
if I keep it short I guess XD) is that she(Hot.Tea) should have been less rude
to the teen moms, especially, since she was one herself. Better? Or is that 
not what you meant?


----------



## heather92

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o0ExGXfs2o

^ I think by the time anyone gets to this point in this thread they need to watch that. ^


----------



## JoJo16

yea i get what you mean lol. this thread is ridiculous anyway. so many things annoyed me but i cba with it so im keeping my mouth shut ;)


----------



## Angel.Mummy

i think this thread is getting a little bit out of hand tbh :/ xx


----------



## jc_catt

heather92 said:


> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o0ExGXfs2o
> 
> ^ I think by the time anyone gets to this point in this thread they need to watch that. ^

HaHa, they have little butt cracks :)

I agree, it is getting out of hand, probably due to me... oops. lol. 
Never could keep my trap shut. lol.


----------



## Angel.Mummy

jc_catt said:


> I agree, it is getting out of hand, probably due to me... oops. lol.
> Never could keep my trap shut. lol.

i don't think its all due to you lol. i think that its just a little out of hand and judgemental at points and somethings do sound quite cheeky xx


----------



## hot tea

Wowie, I come home from work to find a mass of posts... What did I miss? Looks dramatic however.


----------



## syntaxerror

Someone blew up at you. I wouldn't go back and read it. Grab a cookie or something instead; no one needs to be grumpy anymore.


----------



## hot tea

jc_catt said:


> heather92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> jc_catt said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I did not mean to offend. As I stated. But... Sorry if I did! :)
> 
> Um, ok. I'm kind tired of this whole "not trying to be rude" Bull Sh*t. You are
> CLEARLY being rude. Also, this a forum for teen who need consoling. YOU
> are both NOT a teen and NOT consoling anyone. So if your gonna go around
> judging people for things this thread isn't even about. You may wanna shut
> the f*ck up. Because we are judged EVERYDAY and will be for now on, that
> is what this forum does. We have lost friends, independence, and security.
> So you do NO good by coming in here and upsetting people who have to work
> their asses off to do what is right for their baby. And as far as maturity goes,
> the way I see it, Your the most immature person on this site. They gave us a
> special section so we don't have to deal with ignorant, rude people like you.
> Thank you.
> Oh, and, not trying to be rude...Click to expand...
> 
> I'm not going to argue with anything else you said, but I'm pretty sure the OP is actually a teen mom. She said she had her first at age 17, and he isn't even three yet if I'm reading her sig correctly.Click to expand...
> 
> I don't care(i'm honestly not trying to be rude to you AT ALL) but she's
> saying bitchy things and adding "no offence" or "not trying to be rude".
> Well GUESS WHAT LADY??? YOUR RUDE! lol. She just says awful things,
> and we don't need to hear that, if our decision was dumb to have a baby,
> we will find out. No need to tell us. Very pointless and rude. But, I
> understand what your saying, I also considered that before I posted this.
> But I decided that she should have known better as a teen mom herself,
> TTC or not.Click to expand...

Wow... Wow. Wow. I do not even know what to say. :nope: That was much harsher, much ruder than anything I have said.

Do not know what to think now...


----------



## hot tea

syntaxerror said:


> Someone blew up at you. I wouldn't go back and read it. Grab a cookie or something instead; no one needs to be grumpy anymore.

I did before I read this. I am not too upset honestly, the moment I had the earlier responses... I was smart enough to expect it.

And everyone is entitled to their opinions. If you gals think I am a bitch, well why should I not pass judgements as well? Come now, come now...

I have been there, done that, got the t shirt. It is safe to say my first was even semi planned. :haha: no birth control was solidly enforced.


----------



## syntaxerror

Sorry :(
And every time I see your user name, it makes me crave Chinese buffet...haven't eaten at one in years but that's the only time I ever drink hot tea. I keep telling myself...once I graduate, I'll drive home and eat at the places we ate at in high school. 

Oh yes. There will be Ching Dow.


----------



## ARRIELLE

Hot tea- I am so happy to see mature a lady such as yourself come one here and tell the TRUTH...
she was extremely tactful in the way she worded her OP... and i would like to commend you for your honesty...parenting isn't easy at any age... i think especially if you are living under someone elses roof, or on their dime, needing a taxi cab (no driver's license) AND THAT GOES EVEN TO A WOMAN OF 30...etc:hugs: to all the unplanned pregnancies...i understand that "things do happen" at times...I am 25 and have had a few friends that had children early and all they say is...that they love their children but wish they would have waited a few years, and some were planned...i think its fine if you are finishing high school(senior year baby)...18,19. by then you can truly be legally responsible for yourself and for your child...i would imagine it to be difficult for the girls raising a child in an overbearing parent's or "in laws". but anyways planned or unplanned the babies are on their ways...so i understand and support what you say... a "teen mom" is already a statstic, so dont fall into another statstic by not making it in this world, do the best that you can for you and your child, please finish school, i know i might sound dumb but its soooo important!!!


----------



## hot tea

You do not sound dumb at all, quite the opposite! Thank you. :)


----------



## ARRIELLE

hot tea said:


> You do not sound dumb at all, quite the opposite! Thank you. :)

THANX...I JUST FEEL LIKE YOU WEREN'T BEING RUDE YOU WERE JUST GIVING SOME WISE INSIGHT...:thumbup:


----------



## mariahmommy

I was 16 when I fell in love (now 23) and I married the guy. We had known we wanted to get married after 6-8 months of being together. I got pregnant and had to go through 11th and part of 12th grade with a belly. My friends we so nice to me though. I wanted to abort at first. I was so embarrased and scared in shock! I love my life. My baby was born a month after I turned 18 and I finished HS and everything early (2 wks after his birth.) He is now 5 and I have a 2 year old (the day after I turned 21) and I am 23 and trying for my third. I dont think that I would encourage planning pregnancy at that age, although I am so glad I had him! My DH was 16 when I got pregnant and 17 when I had him. I got married while preggo. I would encourage teens to at least adopt if keeping the baby is not an option.


----------



## ARRIELLE

mariahmommy said:


> i was 16 when i fell in love (now 23) and i married the guy. We had known we wanted to get married after 6-8 months of being together. I got pregnant and had to go through 11th and part of 12th grade with a belly. My friends we so nice to me though. I wanted to abort at first. I was so embarrased and scared in shock! I love my life. My baby was born a month after i turned 18 and i finished hs and everything early (2 wks after his birth.) he is now 5 and i have a 2 year old (the day after i turned 21) and i am 23 and trying for my third. I dont think that i would encourage planning pregnancy at that age, although i am so glad i had him! My dh was 16 when i got pregnant and 17 when i had him. I got married while preggo. I would encourage teens to at least adopt if keeping the baby is not an option.

i just wish the other girls could be as lucky and as blessed as you are... I am happy your husband married you...lol...that sounds funny... I know that there are success stories, some teen relationships outlast many, but its just not that often... Guys can really be jerks...i am also glad you chose life for your little one!!!


----------



## Marlarky

I dont support it by saying Oh yes, please go out and start having babies even though youre only 16! But I definitely would never judge another girl who got pregnant in her teen years by any means!!


----------



## Bumblebee20

*If you are stable enough to have a child then why not, age means nothing.

I met my OH at 15 had our first child at 16 PLANNED and second at 17 PLANNED and im not ashamed of saying i planned my first pregnancy at 16. We have 2 great children have stable jobs, home my kids want for nothing and i wouldn't change having kids when i did for anything, i don't feel iv missed out on anything.

Btw i think this thread is a great idea for 'teen pregnancy' of course its going to get a bit heated as its a touchy subject but tbh if you can't accepted peoples opnions then don't post, people are just being honest.*


----------



## jenny82

Someone mentioned about the parent's perspective earlier in the thread. If I knew my child was TTC and under my roof, I would be doing my damned hardest to stop this behaviour (grounding/home schooling, you name it). Yes, a teenager may be mature enough to look after a baby but they still have school to finish which means that the parents will still play a huge part in that child's life.

When my LO is a teenager, I'll be 42ish? I want my life back goddammit. I want nice holidays, nice wine, a garden and a good job. I do *not* want to be looking after my grandchild and doing baby duties. 

My mum is great with me & my LO, but she has her own life now. She did her work. Yes, she babysits for me about once a fortnight, but I would rarely ask her to go above and beyond that, and we are still incredibly close. 

I just think its unfair on the parents that they don't get a say in this choice. Its different if you're 18, have your own job/home/boyfriend, but realistically if you're under 18, you're still under your parent's roof.


----------



## Bumblebee20

jenny82 said:


> Someone mentioned about the parent's perspective earlier in the thread. If I knew my child was TTC and under my roof, I would be doing my damned hardest to stop this behaviour (grounding/home schooling, you name it). Yes, a teenager may be mature enough to look after a baby but they still have school to finish which means that the parents will still play a huge part in that child's life.
> 
> When my LO is a teenager, I'll be 42ish? I want my life back goddammit. I want nice holidays, nice wine, a garden and a good job. I do *not* want to be looking after my grandchild and doing baby duties.
> 
> My mum is great with me & my LO, but she has her own life now. She did her work. Yes, she babysits for me about once a fortnight, but I would rarely ask her to go above and beyond that, and we are still incredibly close.
> 
> I just think its unfair on the parents that they don't get a say in this choice. Its different if you're 18, have your own job/home/boyfriend, but realistically if you're under 18, you're still under your parent's roof.

My parents rarley babysitt for me, maybe a weekend they'll take them out for the day or when me & OH have dentist my mum will watch them. Iv never relied on my parents to watch my kids unless its urgent or they have asked me if they can take them out for the day.

I moved out from my parents at 16 so they didnt have to put up with living with me and a child.


----------



## jenny82

Bumblebee20 said:


> jenny82 said:
> 
> 
> Someone mentioned about the parent's perspective earlier in the thread. If I knew my child was TTC and under my roof, I would be doing my damned hardest to stop this behaviour (grounding/home schooling, you name it). Yes, a teenager may be mature enough to look after a baby but they still have school to finish which means that the parents will still play a huge part in that child's life.
> 
> When my LO is a teenager, I'll be 42ish? I want my life back goddammit. I want nice holidays, nice wine, a garden and a good job. I do *not* want to be looking after my grandchild and doing baby duties.
> 
> My mum is great with me & my LO, but she has her own life now. She did her work. Yes, she babysits for me about once a fortnight, but I would rarely ask her to go above and beyond that, and we are still incredibly close.
> 
> I just think its unfair on the parents that they don't get a say in this choice. Its different if you're 18, have your own job/home/boyfriend, but realistically if you're under 18, you're still under your parent's roof.
> 
> My parents rarley babysitt for me, maybe a weekend they'll take them out for the day or when me & OH have dentist my mum will watch them. Iv never relied on my parents to watch my kids unless its urgent or they have asked me if they can take them out for the day.
> 
> I moved out from my parents at 16 so they didnt have to put up with living with me and a child.Click to expand...

It was mostly aimed at those who are still under their parent's roof. Like I said above, its different if you have your own home ^. And if you're under 18, you're still at school (most likely), which requires childcare in some form.


----------



## Bumblebee20

jenny82 said:


> Bumblebee20 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> jenny82 said:
> 
> 
> Someone mentioned about the parent's perspective earlier in the thread. If I knew my child was TTC and under my roof, I would be doing my damned hardest to stop this behaviour (grounding/home schooling, you name it). Yes, a teenager may be mature enough to look after a baby but they still have school to finish which means that the parents will still play a huge part in that child's life.
> 
> When my LO is a teenager, I'll be 42ish? I want my life back goddammit. I want nice holidays, nice wine, a garden and a good job. I do *not* want to be looking after my grandchild and doing baby duties.
> 
> My mum is great with me & my LO, but she has her own life now. She did her work. Yes, she babysits for me about once a fortnight, but I would rarely ask her to go above and beyond that, and we are still incredibly close.
> 
> I just think its unfair on the parents that they don't get a say in this choice. Its different if you're 18, have your own job/home/boyfriend, but realistically if you're under 18, you're still under your parent's roof.
> 
> My parents rarley babysitt for me, maybe a weekend they'll take them out for the day or when me & OH have dentist my mum will watch them. Iv never relied on my parents to watch my kids unless its urgent or they have asked me if they can take them out for the day.
> 
> I moved out from my parents at 16 so they didnt have to put up with living with me and a child.Click to expand...
> 
> It was mostly aimed at those who are still under their parent's roof. Like I said above, its different if you have your own home ^. And if you're under 18, you're still at school (most likely), which requires childcare in some form.Click to expand...

I know, just thought id say anyway, tbh i don't think it is much different if you move out of your parents at a young age then have a child.


----------



## annawrigley

ARRIELLE said:


> mariahmommy said:
> 
> 
> i was 16 when i fell in love (now 23) and i married the guy. We had known we wanted to get married after 6-8 months of being together. I got pregnant and had to go through 11th and part of 12th grade with a belly. My friends we so nice to me though. I wanted to abort at first. I was so embarrased and scared in shock! I love my life. My baby was born a month after i turned 18 and i finished hs and everything early (2 wks after his birth.) he is now 5 and i have a 2 year old (the day after i turned 21) and i am 23 and trying for my third. I dont think that i would encourage planning pregnancy at that age, although i am so glad i had him! My dh was 16 when i got pregnant and 17 when i had him. I got married while preggo. I would encourage teens to at least adopt if keeping the baby is not an option.
> 
> i just wish the other girls could be as lucky and as blessed as you are... I am happy your husband married you...lol...that sounds funny... I know that there are success stories, some teen relationships outlast many, but its just not that often... Guys can really be jerks...i am also glad you chose life for your little one!!!Click to expand...

You can be a good parent without being married you know :coffee:



jenny82 said:


> Someone mentioned about the parent's perspective earlier in the thread. If I knew my child was TTC and under my roof, I would be doing my damned hardest to stop this behaviour (grounding/home schooling, you name it). Yes, a teenager may be mature enough to look after a baby but they still have school to finish which means that the parents will still play a huge part in that child's life.
> 
> When my LO is a teenager, I'll be 42ish? I want my life back goddammit. I want nice holidays, nice wine, a garden and a good job. I do *not* want to be looking after my grandchild and doing baby duties.
> 
> My mum is great with me & my LO, but she has her own life now. She did her work. Yes, she babysits for me about once a fortnight, but I would rarely ask her to go above and beyond that, and we are still incredibly close.
> 
> *I just think its unfair on the parents that they don't get a say in this choice. Its different if you're 18, have your own job/home/boyfriend, but realistically if you're under 18, you're still under your parent's roof.*

If they load all the childcare responsibilities onto their parents then yes, I agree. But I've not seen anyone on here do anything like that, even if they live with their parents. I guess you're in the US? I moved out at 16 and I don't see my mum :shrug: She hasn't given me a penny since I was 16 either


----------



## Yazz_n_bump

There is one thing that I disagree with is that those teens that try for a baby and don't have a job, and rely on their parents to help them out even though they was 
trying for a baby.

But fair play to the teen mums that are good decent mothers & work hard to have a good upbringing for their child and don't rely on their parents 24/7.

When my LO is 20 I'll be 39 and I know full well I don't want be looking after grand children full time while he goes to college/university. I decided to have my children young (even though my LO as a shock) as me and OH had been working full time for a long time and have our own house & don't rely on our parents to look after our LO. I would hate to still be living at my parents house & still studying and using them as a babysitter and using all their money to bring up their grandchild.


----------



## kittycat18

I have read this entire thread and to be honest, I am shocked at the way some of you young women have responded but at the same time, I agree with a lot of what the other women have said.

I don't agree with someone under the age of 18 trying to conceive but it *does* happen. That is just part of life and who am I to judge anyone who does choose do it? I don't believe that it takes away from your parenting skills and if you are independent and responsible enough to raise your child then I admire you at the highest level! 18 years old is an adult in the United Kingdom where I live and therefore, I don't expect to be judged nor do I appreciate remarks being made to me by older women. We didn't plan this baby as we were using contraception which unfortunately failed but now that it is getting closer to the time of having my baby... I wouldn't change it for the world :thumbup:

Yes I still live with my parents but that's because they don't want me to leave!!! :haha: I went to start viewing houses to rent so that I could have my own space and privacy with baby and my mum begged me to stay at home because she would miss me too much. So does this mean I am pushing my child off onto her? I just finished my college course, am starting a Foundation Diploma in September, baby is booked into a nursery which *I am paying for*, I have bought everything for this child without help from Conor or my parents or the government(in the exception of gifts that were bought for baby) and have spent almost £600 so far, I have just purchased a car and have my driving test in May, I worked pre-pregnancy before sickness ended that and yes I paid my taxes! I have savings left which will happily do me for quite a while yet... I have a very supportive family system and I am blessed to be becoming a mother...

These things happen so give each other a break :flower: This thread is getting too heated because some people can't express their opinions in a civilised manner xox


----------



## kittycat18

Bumblebee20 said:


> *If you are stable enough to have a child then why not, age means nothing.
> 
> I met my OH at 15 had our first child at 16 PLANNED and second at 17 PLANNED and im not ashamed of saying i planned my first pregnancy at 16. We have 2 great children have stable jobs, home my kids want for nothing and i wouldn't change having kids when i did for anything, i don't feel iv missed out on anything.
> 
> Btw i think this thread is a great idea for 'teen pregnancy' of course its going to get a bit heated as its a touchy subject but tbh if you can't accepted peoples opnions then don't post, people are just being honest.*

I completely agree with you that age should not matter. Age is only a number at the end of the day because it all boils down to the person. I think some women are forgetting that it wasn't long ago where we lived in a society where women were married at a younger age and therefore, had children at a younger age. My grandmother was married at 17 and had her first child at 18 and continued to have 8 surviving children. My mother and father had my older sister when my mum was 20 and my dad was 17. They wanted to have more between me and my sister but my mum couldn't fall pregnant and she also lost a little baby at 6 months... This was completely normal in the past.

So my question to all of you is, why are your judging a certain stereotypical group of under 18 year old teenagers who choose to make an adult decision and succeed in becoming fantastic parents when you know nothing about them personally or their lives? :winkwink:


----------



## syntaxerror

The OP's question was general, not specific.

Similar question: Should high school end when children are 16?

Answer: Not for most people but some people can complete the work by then...

With a broad question, you'll always have exceptions.


----------



## kittycat18

syntaxerror said:


> The OP's question was general, not specific.
> 
> Similar question: Should high school end when children are 16?
> 
> Answer: Not for most people but some people can complete the work by then...
> 
> With a broad question, you'll always have exceptions.

Answer from the UK where children also become adults at 16 in some ways and then fully classed as adults at 18: High School ends at the age of 16 and this is when their examinations are completed :winkwink: Optional to go back to school to do further examinations, or to go to further education college or go into full-time work or be a bum after that.


----------



## syntaxerror

See! Broad questions, broad responses...never a one-size-fits-all answer :)


----------



## Andypanda6570

IF I ever found out my teen planned a pregnancy I WOULD FLIP OUT , but I have 3 boys but I would still flip the F out. Accidents happen yes, but ALOT not ALL but most dads are so young and have NO idea of the responsibility that lye ahead and they panic and run, so is it fair for the baby to grow up with only one parent, I mean why not wait and get settled and get some direction in your life and then go forward. I had my first at 20, but I was married and now I am 40 and married 20 years but let me tell you even at 20 starting a family I missed so much. My friends were going out and going on trips and meeting different people and I wasn't and I don't regret it , but I did miss out a lot on my youth and sometimes I think back and wonder what if I would have waited a bit and had a career, i always loved to write, the what if's always make me wonder/. I love my 3 boys and my family and wont ever regret that, but I do wonder what things in my life may have been different if I was not so young. If one of my sons girlfriends did get pregnant I would support them and help them , but if I ever found out anything was planned I would definitely flip the F out. I just feel like for me 40 came so fast and there were so many things I never experienced, but to each his own and i wont judge but I don't believe it is right for anyone under 18 to plan a pregnancy. JMO :hugs:


----------



## hot tea

Yes this is a very broad question, your personal experiences need not even be shared. Do not feel like you need to defend your choices because they are not under attack!

Thank you all for your reasponses.


----------



## jenny82

I think its worth remembering also that most of the women on this site ARE responsible and caring and want families. Its a family forum, so naturally kids are our number 1 priority. There are thousands and thousands of girls who don't count their babies as their number 1 priority and they aren't on this site for that reason so the views/opinions will always be skewed in favour of the best mums.

So you girls are the (best) exception, but not the rule unfortunately.


----------



## ARRIELLE

annawrigley said:


> ARRIELLE said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mariahmommy said:
> 
> 
> i was 16 when i fell in love (now 23) and i married the guy. We had known we wanted to get married after 6-8 months of being together. I got pregnant and had to go through 11th and part of 12th grade with a belly. My friends we so nice to me though. I wanted to abort at first. I was so embarrased and scared in shock! I love my life. My baby was born a month after i turned 18 and i finished hs and everything early (2 wks after his birth.) he is now 5 and i have a 2 year old (the day after i turned 21) and i am 23 and trying for my third. I dont think that i would encourage planning pregnancy at that age, although i am so glad i had him! My dh was 16 when i got pregnant and 17 when i had him. I got married while preggo. I would encourage teens to at least adopt if keeping the baby is not an option.
> 
> i just wish the other girls could be as lucky and as blessed as you are... I am happy your husband married you...lol...that sounds funny... I know that there are success stories, some teen relationships outlast many, but its just not that often... Guys can really be jerks...i am also glad you chose life for your little one!!!Click to expand...
> 
> You can be a good parent without being married you know :coffee:
> 
> 
> 
> jenny82 said:
> 
> 
> Someone mentioned about the parent's perspective earlier in the thread. If I knew my child was TTC and under my roof, I would be doing my damned hardest to stop this behaviour (grounding/home schooling, you name it). Yes, a teenager may be mature enough to look after a baby but they still have school to finish which means that the parents will still play a huge part in that child's life.
> 
> When my LO is a teenager, I'll be 42ish? I want my life back goddammit. I want nice holidays, nice wine, a garden and a good job. I do *not* want to be looking after my grandchild and doing baby duties.
> 
> My mum is great with me & my LO, but she has her own life now. She did her work. Yes, she babysits for me about once a fortnight, but I would rarely ask her to go above and beyond that, and we are still incredibly close.
> 
> *I just think its unfair on the parents that they don't get a say in this choice. Its different if you're 18, have your own job/home/boyfriend, but realistically if you're under 18, you're still under your parent's roof.*Click to expand...
> 
> If they load all the childcare responsibilities onto their parents then yes, I agree. But I've not seen anyone on here do anything like that, even if they live with their parents. I guess you're in the US? I moved out at 16 and I don't see my mum :shrug: She hasn't given me a penny since I was 16 eitherClick to expand...

LOL...OF COURSE YOU CAN BE A GREAT SINGLE PARENT:happydance:!!! I WAS JUST SAYING THAT IT WAS NICE FOR HER BECAUSE, SHE HAS THE SUPPORT OF FOB, ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY HAVE TWO GOING ON THREE TOGETHER..

YA... I SEE THE UK IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT...WELL I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT THE TEENS THAT ARE DOING SOMETHING POSITIVE FOR THEMSELVES AND THEIR LO'S... IT JUST UPSETS ME TO HEAR OF CHILDREN OF 12, 13,14. TRYING TO CONCEIVE(AND I HOPE ITS NOT TO TRAP SOME BOY...SORRY BUT:haha:)... WHY NOT WAIT? I YOU ONLY GET TO BE YOUNG ONCE, AND THEN ITS OVER...


----------



## emyandpotato

ARRIELLE said:


> IT JUST UPSETS ME TO HEAR OF CHILDREN OF 12, 13,14. TRYING TO CONCEIVE(AND I HOPE ITS NOT TO TRAP SOME BOY...SORRY BUT:haha:)... WHY NOT WAIT? I YOU ONLY GET TO BE YOUNG ONCE, AND THEN ITS OVER...

I think girls who ttc at such a young age are often very unhappy with underlying problems, e.g. depression/incredible loneliness/feeling a child is the only way to get love etc. We can't even begin to understand why they'd want a baby at such a young age, and whilst it is far from ideal that they are ttc, we are harming rather than helping by attacking them.


----------



## princess_vix

emyandpotato said:


> ARRIELLE said:
> 
> 
> IT JUST UPSETS ME TO HEAR OF CHILDREN OF 12, 13,14. TRYING TO CONCEIVE(AND I HOPE ITS NOT TO TRAP SOME BOY...SORRY BUT:haha:)... WHY NOT WAIT? I YOU ONLY GET TO BE YOUNG ONCE, AND THEN ITS OVER...
> 
> I think girls who ttc at such a young age are often very unhappy with underlying problems, e.g. depression/incredible loneliness/feeling a child is the only way to get love etc. We can't even begin to understand why they'd want a baby at such a young age, and whilst it is far from ideal that they are ttc, we are harming rather than helping by attacking them.Click to expand...



Agree..at such a young age there must be some kinda underlying issue,because to most people they couldn't see someone of that age point of view.


----------



## ARRIELLE

I agree there is def a deep rooted issue, lack of father, low esteem,etc. But i was just being honest... A baby will not make a man stay...is they never wanted to in the first place is all i am saying...


----------



## princess_vix

ARRIELLE said:


> I agree there is def a deep rooted issue, lack of father, low esteem,etc. But i was just being honest... A baby will not make a man stay...is they never wanted to in the first place is all i am saying...

ooooh i totally agree having a baby to make a man stay is soooo wrong and it never works.

x


----------



## sarah0108

jenny82 said:


> Someone mentioned about the parent's perspective earlier in the thread. If I knew my child was TTC and under my roof, I would be doing my damned hardest to stop this behaviour (grounding/home schooling, you name it). Yes, a teenager may be mature enough to look after a baby but they still have school to finish which means that the parents will still play a huge part in that child's life.
> 
> When my LO is a teenager, I'll be 42ish? I want my life back goddammit. I want nice holidays, nice wine, a garden and a good job. I do *not* want to be looking after my grandchild and doing baby duties.
> 
> My mum is great with me & my LO, but she has her own life now. She did her work. Yes, she babysits for me about once a fortnight, but I would rarely ask her to go above and beyond that, and we are still incredibly close.
> 
> I just think its unfair on the parents that they don't get a say in this choice. Its different if you're 18, have your own job/home/boyfriend, but realistically if you're under 18, you're still under your parent's roof.

when you're 42 you can still have holidays and a life back, why would that stop because your child has a baby :shrug:. I fell pregnant at 15 and have NEVER relyed on my parents! (they were 36 and 38) They have never had to look after my kids for me just because i was a young mum , i moved out after my exams aged 16.

I think its unfair to assume you'd end up doing everything for the baby just because they'd be a teen parent :dohh:



:wacko:


----------



## princess_vix

sarah0108 said:


> jenny82 said:
> 
> 
> Someone mentioned about the parent's perspective earlier in the thread. If I knew my child was TTC and under my roof, I would be doing my damned hardest to stop this behaviour (grounding/home schooling, you name it). Yes, a teenager may be mature enough to look after a baby but they still have school to finish which means that the parents will still play a huge part in that child's life.
> 
> When my LO is a teenager, I'll be 42ish? I want my life back goddammit. I want nice holidays, nice wine, a garden and a good job. I do *not* want to be looking after my grandchild and doing baby duties.
> 
> My mum is great with me & my LO, but she has her own life now. She did her work. Yes, she babysits for me about once a fortnight, but I would rarely ask her to go above and beyond that, and we are still incredibly close.
> 
> I just think its unfair on the parents that they don't get a say in this choice. Its different if you're 18, have your own job/home/boyfriend, but realistically if you're under 18, you're still under your parent's roof.
> 
> when you're 42 you can still have holidays and a life back, why would that stop because your child has a baby :shrug:. I fell pregnant at 15 and have NEVER relyed on my parents! (they were 36 and 38) They have never had to look after my kids for me just because i was a young mum , i moved out after my exams aged 16.
> 
> I think its unfair to assume you'd end up doing everything for the baby just because they'd be a teen parent :dohh:
> 
> 
> 
> :wacko:Click to expand...

Agree Sarah.
I didn't rely on my parents(although out of their choice was supported and helped well but their choice not mine)

Why would their mum have to look after their childs baby?

My mum has done in the past once a month and would do more but i never ask...i look after my own child 7 days a week 24 hours a day.

Why would your parents have to look after their grandchild ?:dohh:


----------



## sarah0108

:thumbup:


----------



## jenny82

princess_vix said:


> sarah0108 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> jenny82 said:
> 
> 
> Someone mentioned about the parent's perspective earlier in the thread. If I knew my child was TTC and under my roof, I would be doing my damned hardest to stop this behaviour (grounding/home schooling, you name it). Yes, a teenager may be mature enough to look after a baby but they still have school to finish which means that the parents will still play a huge part in that child's life.
> 
> When my LO is a teenager, I'll be 42ish? I want my life back goddammit. I want nice holidays, nice wine, a garden and a good job. I do *not* want to be looking after my grandchild and doing baby duties.
> 
> My mum is great with me & my LO, but she has her own life now. She did her work. Yes, she babysits for me about once a fortnight, but I would rarely ask her to go above and beyond that, and we are still incredibly close.
> 
> I just think its unfair on the parents that they don't get a say in this choice. Its different if you're 18, have your own job/home/boyfriend, but realistically if you're under 18, you're still under your parent's roof.
> 
> when you're 42 you can still have holidays and a life back, why would that stop because your child has a baby :shrug:. I fell pregnant at 15 and have NEVER relyed on my parents! (they were 36 and 38) They have never had to look after my kids for me just because i was a young mum , i moved out after my exams aged 16.
> 
> I think its unfair to assume you'd end up doing everything for the baby just because they'd be a teen parent :dohh:
> 
> 
> 
> :wacko:Click to expand...
> 
> Agree Sarah.
> I didn't rely on my parents(although out of their choice was supported and helped well but their choice not mine)
> 
> Why would their mum have to look after their childs baby?
> 
> My mum has done in the past once a month and would do more but i never ask...i look after my own child 7 days a week 24 hours a day.
> 
> Why would your parents have to look after their grandchild ?:dohh:Click to expand...

I'm just going by what I've seen through my own extended family and my area. Like I said up there^, this forum isn't the full truth on teen mums because you're actually mums who give a damn.

And if you want an example, if a 14 year old gets pregnant, do they drop out of school? They can't physically do that here - you have to stay in school until you're 16. So thats 2 years of full-time schooling that the girl has to attend, and who looks after the baby then?


----------



## Angel.Mummy

jenny82 said:


> And if you want an example, if a 14 year old gets pregnant, do they drop out of school? They can't physically do that here - you have to stay in school until you're 16. So thats 2 years of full-time schooling that the girl has to attend, and who looks after the baby then?

i'm 14 and pregnant, i am paying my cousin to watch my lo , when he/she is born as she runs a childminders, she was willing to do it for free but i felt as if i would be taken granted of her...


----------



## emyandpotato

jenny82 said:


> And if you want an example, if a 14 year old gets pregnant, do they drop out of school? They can't physically do that here - you have to stay in school until you're 16. So thats 2 years of full-time schooling that the girl has to attend, and who looks after the baby then?

I think there's a government child care scheme for those still in school? A lot of girls do drop out though, or go to special schools for young parents. It's not that closely monitored once you have a child.


----------



## ARRIELLE

Angel.Mummy said:


> jenny82 said:
> 
> 
> And if you want an example, if a 14 year old gets pregnant, do they drop out of school? They can't physically do that here - you have to stay in school until you're 16. So thats 2 years of full-time schooling that the girl has to attend, and who looks after the baby then?
> 
> i'm 14 and pregnant, i am paying my cousin to watch my lo , when he/she is born as she runs a childminders, she was willing to do it for free but i felt as if i would be taken granted of her...Click to expand...

14 YEARS OLD CAN WORK IN THE UK? YOU SAY YOU ARE GOING TO PAY HER YOU I ASSUME THAT YOU WORK? WELL I GUESS IT ALL DEPENDS ON YOUR COUNTRY...YOU LADIES GRAD AT 16 TOO.. SO I GUESS???:shrug:


----------



## princess_vix

ARRIELLE said:


> Angel.Mummy said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> jenny82 said:
> 
> 
> And if you want an example, if a 14 year old gets pregnant, do they drop out of school? They can't physically do that here - you have to stay in school until you're 16. So thats 2 years of full-time schooling that the girl has to attend, and who looks after the baby then?
> 
> i'm 14 and pregnant, i am paying my cousin to watch my lo , when he/she is born as she runs a childminders, she was willing to do it for free but i felt as if i would be taken granted of her...Click to expand...
> 
> 14 YEARS OLD CAN WORK IN THE UK? YOU SAY YOU ARE GOING TO PAY HER YOU I ASSUME THAT YOU WORK? WELL I GUESS IT ALL DEPENDS ON YOUR COUNTRY...YOU LADIES GRAD AT 16 TOO.. SO I GUESS???:shrug:Click to expand...

Wow that must be some cheap childcare as guessing you can't work full-time what with school..lucky you got a job at 14 too,


----------



## annawrigley

The Government cover your childcare fees for you to go back to school or college


----------



## emyandpotato

ARRIELLE said:


> Angel.Mummy said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> jenny82 said:
> 
> 
> And if you want an example, if a 14 year old gets pregnant, do they drop out of school? They can't physically do that here - you have to stay in school until you're 16. So thats 2 years of full-time schooling that the girl has to attend, and who looks after the baby then?
> 
> i'm 14 and pregnant, i am paying my cousin to watch my lo , when he/she is born as she runs a childminders, she was willing to do it for free but i felt as if i would be taken granted of her...Click to expand...
> 
> 14 YEARS OLD CAN WORK IN THE UK? YOU SAY YOU ARE GOING TO PAY HER YOU I ASSUME THAT YOU WORK? WELL I GUESS IT ALL DEPENDS ON YOUR COUNTRY...YOU LADIES GRAD AT 16 TOO.. SO I GUESS???:shrug:Click to expand...

You can't really work, only with a paper round/washing up etc. Most places won't let you work behind a till or even as a waitress, and it's illegal to handle food under the age of 16, let alone alcohol.

We finish high school at sixteen but don't start university, if you go, til eighteen, so there are usually two college years. It's quite difficult to get a job on GCSEs alone.


----------



## sarah0108

i've got a job on GCSE's alone ;) :haha:


----------



## princess_vix

annawrigley said:


> The Government cover your childcare fees for you to go back to school or college

They do indeed..good point forgot about that so :thumbup: to you!

Can i just ask angelmummy..how will you LO be supported as you can't claim benefits till 16 yrs of age or after school gcse dates(my problem when i first fell pregnant at 15 and couldn't claim till GCSE had finished)

Tell me to butt out if i'm being nosey just really curious hun as you state you were TTC but how will you support you and baby :hugs:

Please please don't take this the wrong way x


----------



## Angel.Mummy

i work with my auntie in her cake buisness, and have done for a few years now ...


----------



## Angel.Mummy

well i work with my auntie as i just posted
i have quite a bit of money saved up and i know what i have saved up isn't gonna be enough. 
my mum gives me pocket money which she is gonna up a little and i'm gonna start putting that away for bubs and FOB works with his dad even though i'm having trouble getting through to him about the money situation :/ xx


----------



## ARRIELLE

Angel.Mummy said:


> i work with my auntie in her cake buisness, and have done for a few years now ...

I AM HUNGRY NOW...LOL:flower:. I AM ALSO ASSUMING THAT YOU HAVE YOUR PARENT'S SUPPORT CORRECT? PEOPLE RENT APARTMENTS AT A YOUNG AT TOO IN THE UK??? I NEVER KNEW THINGS WERE SOOOO DIFFERENT THERE


----------



## Angel.Mummy

yes i have my parents support and i still live with my mum x


----------



## emyandpotato

ARRIELLE said:


> Angel.Mummy said:
> 
> 
> i work with my auntie in her cake buisness, and have done for a few years now ...
> 
> I AM HUNGRY NOW...LOL:flower:. I AM ALSO ASSUMING THAT YOU HAVE YOUR PARENT'S SUPPORT CORRECT? PEOPLE RENT APARTMENTS AT A YOUNG AT TOO IN THE UK??? I NEVER KNEW THINGS WERE SOOOO DIFFERENT THEREClick to expand...

Haha nooo we can't. When I was looking for somewhere EVERY landlord says no DSS (people on benefits), no students, and no under 25s... It was impossible! In the end just put it under my dad's name instead.


----------



## emyandpotato

sarah0108 said:


> i've got a job on GCSE's alone ;) :haha:

Sorry hun, I didn't mean it in an offensive way, it's just a struggle to get any job at the moment and I think people looking for jobs with just GCSEs would lose out to those with A levels or degrees, or experience.


----------



## ARRIELLE

angel.mummy said:


> yes i have my parents support and i still live with my mum x

if i may ask, why did you and you oh plan your children so early? If i am not mistaken you said that you planned this one? I am sorry if i am asking you to repeat yourself, but i didnt read all of this thread...so why at 13/14?


----------



## Angel.Mummy

we weren't exactly trying we just werent preventing it, we decided we wanted a kid after we lost our little angel xx


----------



## princess_vix

Angel.Mummy said:



> well i work with my auntie as i just posted
> i have quite a bit of money saved up and i know what i have saved up isn't gonna be enough.
> my mum gives me pocket money which she is gonna up a little and i'm gonna start putting that away for bubs and FOB works with his dad even though i'm having trouble getting through to him about the money situation :/ xx

Well hon,i really really hope it all works out for you..xx


----------



## ARRIELLE

emyandpotato said:


> arrielle said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angel.mummy said:
> 
> 
> i work with my auntie in her cake buisness, and have done for a few years now ...
> 
> i am hungry now...lol:flower:. I am also assuming that you have your parent's support correct? People rent apartments at a young at too in the uk??? I never knew things were soooo different thereClick to expand...
> 
> haha nooo we can't. When i was looking for somewhere every landlord says no dss (people on benefits), no students, and no under 25s... It was impossible! In the end just put it under my dad's name instead.Click to expand...

lol... I was about to say wow... The uk is very different with the rights of minors... Its nice that your dad signed for you


----------



## princess_vix

Angel.Mummy said:


> we weren't exactly trying we just werent preventing it, we decided we wanted a kid after we lost our little angel xx

Do you not ever feel a tiny bit of sadness of not being able to be a teenager and hang around with friends,break rules and enjoy yourself? im really not trying to be rude i'm just really curious hun as never met someone who is so young and pregnant so im just being nosey lol xx


----------



## princess_vix

ARRIELLE said:


> emyandpotato said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> arrielle said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> angel.mummy said:
> 
> 
> i work with my auntie in her cake buisness, and have done for a few years now ...
> 
> i am hungry now...lol:flower:. I am also assuming that you have your parent's support correct? People rent apartments at a young at too in the uk??? I never knew things were soooo different thereClick to expand...
> 
> haha nooo we can't. When i was looking for somewhere every landlord says no dss (people on benefits), no students, and no under 25s... It was impossible! In the end just put it under my dad's name instead.Click to expand...
> 
> lol... I was about to say wow... The uk is very different with the rights of minors... Its nice that your dad signed for youClick to expand...

Landlords vary especially private renting..i got my flat at 17 and there was no problem.xxx


----------



## Angel.Mummy

no i don't really mind not being able to hang around with friends, as most of the girls at my school smoke, drink and sleep around etc. and i really didn't want that i'd be happier to stay at home with my lo knowing that i am doing what makes me happy xx


----------



## ARRIELLE

Angel.Mummy said:


> we weren't exactly trying we just werent preventing it, we decided we wanted a kid after we lost our little angel xx

WELL I HAD A M/C AND I GUESS AT ANY AGE ITS HEART WRENCHING:cry:...WELL I JUST HOPE THAT YOU AND THE FOB HAVE EVERYTHING WORKED AT OUT BEFORE YOU LO COMES, IS ISNT NOT EASY PARENTING, ESPECIALLY BEING A TEEN MOM AS I AM SURE YOU KNOW, BUT BEST WISHES...


----------



## princess_vix

Angel.Mummy said:


> no i don't really mind not being able to hang around with friends, as most of the girls at my school smoke, drink and sleep around etc. and i really didn't want that i'd be happier to stay at home with my lo knowing that i am doing what makes me happy xx

yeah i guess so..i hope you have a lot of support..xx


----------



## annawrigley

emyandpotato said:


> ARRIELLE said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Angel.Mummy said:
> 
> 
> i work with my auntie in her cake buisness, and have done for a few years now ...
> 
> I AM HUNGRY NOW...LOL:flower:. I AM ALSO ASSUMING THAT YOU HAVE YOUR PARENT'S SUPPORT CORRECT? PEOPLE RENT APARTMENTS AT A YOUNG AT TOO IN THE UK??? I NEVER KNEW THINGS WERE SOOOO DIFFERENT THEREClick to expand...
> 
> Haha nooo we can't. When I was looking for somewhere EVERY landlord says no DSS (people on benefits), no students, and no under 25s... It was impossible! In the end just put it under my dad's name instead.Click to expand...

Very hard (even harder when you have a child as well ;)) but not impossible. In theory you can definitely get your own place at 16! (And anyone could probs get a council place at 18, or before if your parents say they want you out). My tenancy is in my name but my dad is my guarantor, is that what you meant?


----------



## Angel.Mummy

ARRIELLE said:


> WELL I HAD A M/C AND I GUESS AT ANY AGE ITS HEART WRENCHING:cry:...WELL I JUST HOPE THAT YOU AND THE FOB HAVE EVERYTHING WORKED AT OUT BEFORE YOU LO COMES, IS ISNT NOT EASY PARENTING, ESPECIALLY BEING A TEEN MOM AS I AM SURE YOU KNOW, BUT BEST WISHES...

FOB is slowly coming round to the idea, although he knew it could happen i just think he thought i would be a while but i guess not. anyways yes he's coming round to the idea, we sat today and discussed it and he seems happier than yesterday :L

yes i do have alot of support from my parents and FOB's parents. i want to do this as independently as possible although i know its gonna be hard. xx


----------



## princess_vix

Angel.Mummy said:


> ARRIELLE said:
> 
> 
> WELL I HAD A M/C AND I GUESS AT ANY AGE ITS HEART WRENCHING:cry:...WELL I JUST HOPE THAT YOU AND THE FOB HAVE EVERYTHING WORKED AT OUT BEFORE YOU LO COMES, IS ISNT NOT EASY PARENTING, ESPECIALLY BEING A TEEN MOM AS I AM SURE YOU KNOW, BUT BEST WISHES...
> 
> FOB is slowly coming round to the idea, although he knew it could happen i just think he thought i would be a while but i guess not. anyways yes he's coming round to the idea, we sat today and discussed it and he seems happier than yesterday :L
> 
> yes i do have alot of support from my parents and FOB's parents. i want to do this as independently as possible although i know its gonna be hard. xxClick to expand...

God your OH sounds like a numpty..coming round to the idea...he knew he was having unprotected sex with you what did he expect?

It'll be very hard hon..some days are fabulous other days are hard,lonely,boring and frustrating..and my friend wanted a child but thats only because she see's the good bits when Ryan's playful,happy and easy going.she doesn't have to deal with a stroppy,tantruming nearly 2 yr old and all the stresses that come with it.


----------



## Angel.Mummy

yeh i know :) 
i know that its not all gonna be fun, i have basically raised my niece (with the help of my mum) so i know what the sleepless nights etc. are like and i know its not gonna be all fun and games. but i'm gonna do the best i can to ensure that my baby has as good a life as possible xx


----------



## Lydiarose

Dont really use BNB anymore but ive been watching this thread for a while and just wanted to add a small input.

I really dont think trying for a baby at 13/14/15 is right,its wrong in so many ways.

When i think back to how i was at 14 i am so so glad i didnt bring oscar into my world then,i was so immature (i thought i was extremelly mature) my mum had cancer id been through my parents divorce etc so i thought i knew the world i didnt at all,i was a very angry disturbed teenager.

Im 19 now My dan is 23 and even now its hard for us but i am so so far away from being that teenager and i now see the world as a genuinlly mature adult,

Hes 23 and even he found it very hard adjusting to becoming a dad at first so god knows how a 14 year old boy would feel,my little brothers 14 and hes so so immature (in a lovely way) but its all about xbox and fizzy drinks not babys.

Please dont think i am judging you i hate judgemental people and have sufferd alot from it on this forum.

However you really do need to sit down with your OH and your parents and work out some kind of plan,because without trying to scare you you are in for one hell of a shock the sleepless nights the teething the moments when you would do anything to have your old life back just for one day,at 14 all your friends are going to be going out meeting boys having fun and you wont be able to do any of that,even if thats not your thing watching a film having a bath,it all becomes a rareity,I really hope you get the support your desperatly going to need there is no way i could have coped without dan.

On the housing point,Dan was working 25 hours a week when we got our home its a very modern 2 bedroomed semi in a cul de sac and costs us 550 per month we could afford this at the time now dan has lost his job were pay 130 out of the 290 a week we get on rent and the rest on oscar bills and food shopping.

Dont really know what else to say other than . . . i really dont know.


----------



## emyandpotato

annawrigley said:


> emyandpotato said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ARRIELLE said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Angel.Mummy said:
> 
> 
> i work with my auntie in her cake buisness, and have done for a few years now ...
> 
> I AM HUNGRY NOW...LOL:flower:. I AM ALSO ASSUMING THAT YOU HAVE YOUR PARENT'S SUPPORT CORRECT? PEOPLE RENT APARTMENTS AT A YOUNG AT TOO IN THE UK??? I NEVER KNEW THINGS WERE SOOOO DIFFERENT THEREClick to expand...
> 
> Haha nooo we can't. When I was looking for somewhere EVERY landlord says no DSS (people on benefits), no students, and no under 25s... It was impossible! In the end just put it under my dad's name instead.Click to expand...
> 
> Very hard (even harder when you have a child as well ;)) but not impossible. In theory you can definitely get your own place at 16! (And anyone could probs get a council place at 18, or before if your parents say they want you out). My tenancy is in my name but my dad is my guarantor, is that what you meant?Click to expand...

Nope we called so many estate agents and talked to so many independent landlords and none would accept us, so in the end told a white lie and whilst we pay the rent it isn't our names down as tenants. Guess it depends on the area, and a lot on luck. Council houses are becoming difficult to get in many areas too.


----------



## Lydiarose

Dont really use BNB anymore but ive been watching this thread for a while and just wanted to add a small input.

I really dont think trying for a baby at 13/14/15 is right,its wrong in so many ways.

When i think back to how i was at 14 i am so so glad i didnt bring oscar into my world then,i was so immature (i thought i was extremelly mature) my mum had cancer id been through my parents divorce etc so i thought i knew the world i didnt at all,i was a very angry disturbed teenager.

Im 19 now My dan is 23 and even now its hard for us but i am so so far away from being that teenager and i now see the world as a genuinlly mature adult,

Hes 23 and even he found it very hard adjusting to becoming a dad at first so god knows how a 14 year old boy would feel,my little brothers 14 and hes so so immature (in a lovely way) but its all about xbox and fizzy drinks not babys.

Please dont think i am judging you i hate judgemental people and have sufferd alot from it on this forum.

However you really do need to sit down with your OH and your parents and work out some kind of plan,because without trying to scare you you are in for one hell of a shock the sleepless nights the teething the moments when you would do anything to have your old life back just for one day,at 14 all your friends are going to be going out meeting boys having fun and you wont be able to do any of that,even if thats not your thing watching a film having a bath,it all becomes a rareity,I really hope you get the support your desperatly going to need there is no way i could have coped without dan.

On the housing point,Dan was working 25 hours a week when we got our home its a very modern 2 bedroomed semi in a cul de sac and costs us 550 per month we could afford this at the time now dan has lost his job were pay 130 out of the 290 a week we get on rent and the rest on oscar bills and food shopping.

Dont really know what else to say other than . . . i really dont know.


----------



## Lydiarose

sorry double post


----------



## syntaxerror

I'm 21. Be 22 in June. Baby's due in October. I am so definitely not ready for this, especially without Nik, but all I can do is my best.


----------



## annawrigley

And without meaning to be rude you can have all that experience with your niece but the reality of being a mother 24/7 is SO different, it is exhausting and all-consuming, some days you cant even go to the toilet on your own. I can't eat when my son is awake. He's almost 14 months old and still doesnt sleep through the night which is something I never anticipated, it is HARD! I know there's no point telling you all this cos you're already pregnant lol just... don't think for one second you're in for an easy ride :flower: xx


----------



## syntaxerror

Lydiarose said:


> On the housing point,Dan was working 25 hours a week when we got our home its a very modern 2 bedroomed semi in a cul de sac and costs us 550 per month we could afford this at the time now dan has lost his job were pay 130 out of the 290 a week we get on rent and the rest on oscar bills and food shopping.

Oh, jealous...I don't live with baby's father anymore and I'm paying that for a one bedroom apartment. It's ridiculous here. I'd feel guilty about moving though; it'd make it so hard for nik to see his little one...


----------



## princess_vix

Lydiarose said:


> Dont really use BNB anymore but ive been watching this thread for a while and just wanted to add a small input.
> 
> I really dont think trying for a baby at 13/14/15 is right,its wrong in so many ways.
> 
> When i think back to how i was at 14 i am so so glad i didnt bring oscar into my world then,i was so immature (i thought i was extremelly mature) my mum had cancer id been through my parents divorce etc so i thought i knew the world i didnt at all,i was a very angry disturbed teenager.
> 
> Im 19 now My dan is 23 and even now its hard for us but i am so so far away from being that teenager and i now see the world as a genuinlly mature adult,
> 
> Hes 23 and even he found it very hard adjusting to becoming a dad at first so god knows how a 14 year old boy would feel,my little brothers 14 and hes so so immature (in a lovely way) but its all about xbox and fizzy drinks not babys.
> 
> Please dont think i am judging you i hate judgemental people and have sufferd alot from it on this forum.
> 
> However you really do need to sit down with your OH and your parents and work out some kind of plan,because without trying to scare you you are in for one hell of a shock the sleepless nights the teething the moments when you would do anything to have your old life back just for one day,at 14 all your friends are going to be going out meeting boys having fun and you wont be able to do any of that,even if thats not your thing watching a film having a bath,it all becomes a rareity,I really hope you get the support your desperatly going to need there is no way i could have coped without dan.
> 
> On the housing point,Dan was working 25 hours a week when we got our home its a very modern 2 bedroomed semi in a cul de sac and costs us 550 per month we could afford this at the time now dan has lost his job were pay 130 out of the 290 a week we get on rent and the rest on oscar bills and food shopping.
> 
> Dont really know what else to say other than . . . i really dont know.

:thumbup:

This is exactly it though..to many teenagers think being a mother is an easy job,all the accesories you get pushing a pushchair ect ect they think it's cool,fun and easy to have a baby.and it really is far from it.

They see a baby in a pushchair out with it's mother sleeping away...but miss the babies that scream for hours on end in the pushchair.

They may see mums like myself out with her friend and her child having a fun day out,but this isn't how life always is and it's not fun and games when everyone goes home and you have to deal with everything.

They see babies as cheap and simple...whereas babies/toddlers/children cost an absolute fortune.

They have looked after young family memebers alot..but having your OWN child is completely different to helping out with somebody elses child.

Alot of teens think babies will just STTN,feed,need a bum change and done..but forget about teething,weaning,when a baby is ill,when your child needs 100% attention and care from you (im not directly pointing these points at anybody in particular:hugs:)

Being a mother is the best gift in the world and the best job but it is hard at times,hard but rewarding but it's a job that should ideally be planned for when the time is right for you when you are settled down in a stable relationship,when you are a little older..


----------



## Angel.Mummy

i know i'm not in for an easy ride, and my niece stays with us 24/7 and thinks of me as her "mum" which i know i'm not but i have got up with her through the night, i do take care of her during the day and i take her out at the weekends..

and btw your little boy is adorable xxx


----------



## princess_vix

Angel.Mummy said:


> i know i'm not in for an easy ride, and my niece stays with us 24/7 and thinks of me as her "mum" which i know i'm not but i have got up with her through the night, i do take care of her during the day and i take her out at the weekends..
> 
> and btw your little boy is adorable xxx

Difference is though hun,if you didn't want to do it you could walk away,if you wanted to go out with friends in the evening you could..

Correct? xx


----------



## annawrigley

Angel.Mummy said:


> i know i'm not in for an easy ride, and my niece stays with us 24/7 and thinks of me as her "mum" which i know i'm not but i have got up with her through the night, i do take care of her during the day and i take her out at the weekends..
> 
> and btw your little boy is adorable xxx

Thank you :hugs: And I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months! :D And not meaning to carry on picking, and I know you probably aren't encouraging it but your niece shouldn't be thinking of you or calling you Mum :( Could be very confusing for her as she gets older. Does she not see her mum (your sister?) You don't have to answer if you dont want lol xx


----------



## Angel.Mummy

no its fine, she doesn't call me mum, she calls me mummy shannon, its my brothers wee girl no my sisters and my brother died in a crash and my niece reminded her mum of my brother to much so she left her with a note at my door. i don't encourage her to call me mum, she just says it, i tried to get her to call me shannon but she put the to together so its mummy shannon :/ xxx


----------



## Lydiarose

I agree with anna as per :) also vix,its true id been around my little brother growing up and thought oh ive been around babys i know what to do it is SO different with your own the amount of times ive though i cant do this anymore and every mum gets like that at times! but you cant just walk away or give them to your parents your the parent now and its so bloody tough,

Oscar has made me,hes an absolute angel and i wouldnt change him for the world,i wouldve liked to do a few more things just me and dan and go on holidays uni etc but i did get to experience teenage years not being great but i had fun and freedom so now i dont recent him,i know i wouldve at 14 as horrible as that sounds!?

I admit i saw friends with babys and thought aww how cute id love that all the pushchairs and cute clothes and trust me that is the LAST thing you think about with your own its money,bills,there health and thats after youve experienced labour (it is a life changing event).

Babys push you to the extremes of every emotion love,worry despair.

I wish you all the luck in the world,i just really hope you have all the support you say you have because you are in for a big big shock.

I hope your Bf sticks around too because its going to be very hard for you both at your age.
Going to cut this short id like to say more but oscs just woken up.


----------



## princess_vix

I got pregnant just before 16 and had Ryan at 16 but i still had a little more teen years than yourself at 14 plus the fatc you've had to look after your niece and get up with her through the night ect..i never had to do that i looked after my cousins alot as babies but loved the fact i could hand them back LOL..
but i don't feel like i've missed out alot in teen years tbh as my OH is 11 years older and he's done all the clubbing ect so i go out now and again plus i love being at home but it doesn't mean that when im having a bad day i wish i could just slip out for a couple of hours by myself.

Just going to the shop which is 5 minutes away is a mission and still is with my son nearly 2.


----------



## annawrigley

Lydiarose said:


> I agree with anna as per :) also vix,its true id been around my little brother growing up and thought oh ive been around babys i know what to do it is SO different with your own the amount of times ive though i cant do this anymore and every mum gets like that at times! but you cant just walk away or give them to your parents your the parent now and its so bloody tough,
> 
> Oscar has made me,hes an absolute angel and i wouldnt change him for the world,i wouldve liked to do a few more things just me and dan and go on holidays uni etc but i did get to experience teenage years not being great but i had fun and freedom so now i dont recent him,i know i wouldve at 14 as horrible as that sounds!?
> 
> I admit i saw friends with babys and thought aww how cute id love that all the pushchairs and cute clothes and trust me that is the LAST thing you think about with your own its money,bills,there health and thats after youve experienced labour (it is a life changing event).
> 
> Babys push you to the extremes of every emotion love,worry despair.
> 
> I wish you all the luck in the world,i just really hope you have all the support you say you have because you are in for a big big shock.
> 
> I hope your Bf sticks around too because its going to be very hard for you both at your age.
> *Going to cut this short id like to say more but oscs just woken up.*

See you cant even finish BnB posts with a baby! :rofl:


----------



## princess_vix

HAHAHAHAHAHA!! poor you!


----------



## emyandpotato

So your mum left your baby neice on your doorstep with a note when you were 14? Seriously? I thought you lived with your mum anyway =s


----------



## JoJo16

Her nieces mum left her on the door step.
How old is your niece now


----------



## Angel.Mummy

no my niece's mum ...


----------



## Angel.Mummy

she's one, she'll be 2 in october xxx


----------



## princess_vix

so your niece must be 2 if shes speaking yeah?

So your OWN mother let you get up with her at 12 years of age?!!


----------



## princess_vix

how in hells name does a 1 year old say 'mummy shannon'?
Clever one year old.

Ryan cant say mummy only Mumma..apart from the fatc im dadda aparently!!


----------



## JoJo16

So are you gona be taking care of your own baby and your niece?


----------



## Angel.Mummy

no she's not fully 2 yet, she can't speak properly, its just mummy and more sannon than shannon. and it was my choice as my mum was very ill at the time


----------



## princess_vix

Anna mate your a super hero....  muhahahaha


----------



## princess_vix

yeah but were you not in school?

How did u manage if your mum was very ill?

Who looked after the child whilst you were in school if your mum was ill?


----------



## annawrigley

Angel.Mummy said:


> no she's not fully 2 yet, she can't speak properly, its just mummy and more sannon than shannon. and it was my choice as my mum was very ill at the time

And social services were ok with a 12/13 year old bringing up a baby? Wtf is she still doing in your mum's/your care?!


----------



## princess_vix

Agree Anna...poor kiddie!!


----------



## Angel.Mummy

we all chipped in, there was my sister but she worked night shift, hence me getting up during the night with her..


----------



## heather92

Angel.Mummy, I'm in a VERY similar situation as to the part about your niece. A lot of the girls on here don't like me talking about it, but if you ever want to talk, send me a PM. x


----------



## princess_vix

wow you must've found it hard getting up in the morning!!


----------



## annawrigley

Angel.Mummy said:


> we all chipped in, there was my sister but she worked night shift, hence me getting up during the night with her..

At 12/13 years old? :nope:


----------



## JoJo16

I just don't understand how a 14 year is goin to be able to look after a 2 year old and a new born ;-S


----------



## Lydiarose

Im really confused :s it just doesnt make any logical sense,i dont understand how your mum could expect you to look after a baby at 12 years old when your a baby yourself? and she was aware you were trying to concieve? how has your Bf's parents taken this?

It sounds to me like youve had a very dysfunctional upbringing and i dont think bringing a baby into it was very wise at all,not meaning to sound nasty.I just feel sorry for you.


----------



## Angel.Mummy

well my mum is alot better now, so she will be mostly looking after my niece,


----------



## Lydiarose

Im really confused :s it just doesnt make any logical sense,i dont understand how your mum could expect you to look after a baby at 12 years old when your a baby yourself? and she was aware you were trying to concieve? how has your Bf's parents taken this?

It sounds to me like youve had a very dysfunctional upbringing and i dont think bringing a baby into it was very wise at all,not meaning to sound nasty.I just feel sorry for you.


----------



## princess_vix

what an odd life....must say!!


----------



## JoJo16

That must be so confusing for her. Being looked after by you and then you get a new baby and now some1 else is looking after her. It all seems very strange


----------



## princess_vix

Hold up.i think we need a mod!!


----------



## heather92

Guys, please don't gang up on this girl. The situation she's in DOES happen...


----------



## Lydiarose

princess_vix said:


> what an odd life....must say!!

I agree,

and i have to say this.It is very very wrong of your mom to be supporting you trying for a baby at 14,its so wrong.

There is no way in hell any rational thinking mum would allow this.


----------



## JoJo16

Where abouts in bournemouth do you live x


----------



## princess_vix

what in popeye a baby being dumped on a doorstep with a note then being looked after by a 12 yr old


----------



## princess_vix

Winton my dear!!!! Xxxx


----------



## Lydiarose

I bloody LOVE bournemouth my fave place in the world! me and dan went there last summer were planning on taking osc next summer its a family tradition,i love the pier and the carosel! we always stay at the durley dean hotel :) xx


----------



## annawrigley

heather92 said:


> Guys, please don't gang up on this girl. The situation she's in DOES happen...

It shouldn't though. That kid shouldn't be living there, being passed from pillar to post. Especially when the proverbial pillar is a 12 YEAR OLD CHILD! :nope:


----------



## princess_vix

Bournemouth!!!!!!!!! Sunny sunny bournemouth!


----------



## JoJo16

Ooo i no ;-) Im not far from there.

And no1 is ganging up were just trying to understand the situation. She didn't have to answer if she didn't want to


----------



## princess_vix

whereabouts are you...always up for a meet up ;) xx


----------



## emyandpotato

princess_vix said:


> what in popeye a baby being dumped on a doorstep with a note then being looked after by a 12 yr old

No outside her bedroom door with a note I think. She lives with her mum.


----------



## JoJo16

I live Christchurch way. I will add you on fb when Im on the comp 2mo.


----------



## Hunkdorey

princess_vix said:


> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> The Government cover your childcare fees for you to go back to school or college
> 
> They do indeed..good point forgot about that so :thumbup: to you!
> 
> Can i just ask angelmummy..how will you LO be supported as you can't claim benefits till 16 yrs of age or after school gcse dates(my problem when i first fell pregnant at 15 and couldn't claim till GCSE had finished)
> 
> Tell me to butt out if i'm being nosey just really curious hun as you state you were TTC but how will you support you and baby :hugs:
> 
> Please please don't take this the wrong way xClick to expand...

Sorry for butting in, but just thought I had a little input here. My mums Best Friend's daughter fell pregnant and had a little boy at 14. Because she was still under 16 and required to attend school, the government (dont know if it was central or local) paid for a childminder so she could return to high school.

Anyways, thats actually not why I posted, lol. As for her benefits, she couldn't claim them as she was under 16, but her mum could claim them on her behalf. I think she now gets to pick them up herself as she has turned 16, but before then I'm sure her mum did. She just got the money and gave it straight to her daughter.

As for having a life, I think its great when teen mothers do get to look after their LO but still be able to go out and about with the support of their parents. However, I find that with my little cousin (not really, but as close as) that she is not really looked apon by her son as his mother - his gran has been far too involved - in fact - she wont even let her daughter take her son out a walk in his buggy if its "too far". I'm sorry, but she was old enough to have sex and get pregnant and keep this pregnancy secret for a whole 6 months - she should be old enough to be trusted to look after her LO.

Even now, she doesnt look after him 24/7 - she goes out with her b/f (not FOB as he turned out to be a proper loser) 3 nights a week, her son goes to his other grans one night every weekend, so as a full time mum, she really only has her son 3 nights a week, and thats with her mum constantly helping/taking over.

Sorry - had no idea I was going to go on such a rant. :blush:


----------



## princess_vix

okay dokey search Vicky fuller... :)


----------



## Lydiarose

can i come?? i want to live in bournemouth so bad your so lucky to be near that beach i hate shitty wolverhampton its such a tramp hole!


Back to the topic,
I just fail to understand how This girls mother is allowing all this to happen,if i went home at 14 and said i wanted to concieve with my then boyfriend who was an absolute waste of air but i thought i loved him,as you do at 14.She wouldve sat me down and given me a right good talking too!


----------



## princess_vix

LOL..you may come...come c me wen u come next year.we can ride a horsey on the carousell HAHAH


----------



## Lydiarose

can i come?? i want to live in bournemouth so bad your so lucky to be near that beach i hate shitty wolverhampton its such a tramp hole!


Back to the topic,
I just fail to understand how This girls mother is allowing all this to happen,if i went home at 14 and said i wanted to concieve with my then boyfriend who was an absolute waste of air but i thought i loved him,as you do at 14.She wouldve sat me down and given me a right good talking too!


----------



## annawrigley

Hunkdorey said:


> princess_vix said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> The Government cover your childcare fees for you to go back to school or college
> 
> They do indeed..good point forgot about that so :thumbup: to you!
> 
> Can i just ask angelmummy..how will you LO be supported as you can't claim benefits till 16 yrs of age or after school gcse dates(my problem when i first fell pregnant at 15 and couldn't claim till GCSE had finished)
> 
> Tell me to butt out if i'm being nosey just really curious hun as you state you were TTC but how will you support you and baby :hugs:
> 
> Please please don't take this the wrong way xClick to expand...
> 
> Sorry for butting in, but just thought I had a little input here. My mums Best Friend's daughter fell pregnant and had a little boy at 14. Because she was still under 16 and required to attend school, the government (dont know if it was central or local) paid for a childminder so she could return to high school.
> 
> Anyways, thats actually not why I posted, lol. As for her benefits, she couldn't claim them as she was under 16, but her mum could claim them on her behalf. I think she now gets to pick them up herself as she has turned 16, but before then I'm sure her mum did. She just got the money and gave it straight to her daughter.
> 
> As for having a life, I think its great when teen mothers do get to look after their LO but still be able to go out and about with the support of their parents. However, I find that with my little cousin (not really, but as close as) that she is not really looked apon by her son as his mother - his gran has been far too involved - in fact - she wont even let her daughter take her son out a walk in his buggy if its "too far". I'm sorry, but she was old enough to have sex and get pregnant and keep this pregnancy secret for a whole 6 months - she should be old enough to be trusted to look after her LO.
> 
> Even now, she doesnt look after him 24/7 - she goes out with her b/f (not FOB as he turned out to be a proper loser) 3 nights a week, her son goes to his other grans one night every weekend, so as a full time mum, she really only has her son 3 nights a week, and thats with her mum constantly helping/taking over.
> 
> Sorry - had no idea I was going to go on such a rant. :blush:Click to expand...

:nope: Thats sad. And wrong. She will regret that alot when her kid is older or when she has future kids and realises how much she missed out on. Sounds like its equally the fault of the mum/gran as it is of her tbh :/ xx


----------



## emyandpotato

Hunkdorey said:


> princess_vix said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> The Government cover your childcare fees for you to go back to school or college
> 
> They do indeed..good point forgot about that so :thumbup: to you!
> 
> Can i just ask angelmummy..how will you LO be supported as you can't claim benefits till 16 yrs of age or after school gcse dates(my problem when i first fell pregnant at 15 and couldn't claim till GCSE had finished)
> 
> Tell me to butt out if i'm being nosey just really curious hun as you state you were TTC but how will you support you and baby :hugs:
> 
> Please please don't take this the wrong way xClick to expand...
> 
> Sorry for butting in, but just thought I had a little input here. My mums Best Friend's daughter fell pregnant and had a little boy at 14. Because she was still under 16 and required to attend school, the government (dont know if it was central or local) paid for a childminder so she could return to high school.
> 
> Anyways, thats actually not why I posted, lol. As for her benefits, she couldn't claim them as she was under 16, but her mum could claim them on her behalf. I think she now gets to pick them up herself as she has turned 16, but before then I'm sure her mum did. She just got the money and gave it straight to her daughter.
> 
> As for having a life, I think its great when teen mothers do get to look after their LO but still be able to go out and about with the support of their parents. However, I find that with my little cousin (not really, but as close as) that she is not really looked apon by her son as his mother - his gran has been far too involved - in fact - she wont even let her daughter take her son out a walk in his buggy if its "too far". I'm sorry, but she was old enough to have sex and get pregnant and keep this pregnancy secret for a whole 6 months - she should be old enough to be trusted to look after her LO.
> 
> Even now, she doesnt look after him 24/7 - she goes out with her b/f (not FOB as he turned out to be a proper loser) 3 nights a week, her son goes to his other grans one night every weekend, so as a full time mum, she really only has her son 3 nights a week, and thats with her mum constantly helping/taking over.
> 
> Sorry - had no idea I was going to go on such a rant. :blush:Click to expand...

While that shouldn't happen, it's only one story. There is probably a fourteen year old mother somewhere whose child ended up studying medicine at Oxford or something.


----------



## annawrigley

Lydiarose said:


> can i come?? i want to live in bournemouth so bad your so lucky to be near that beach i hate shitty wolverhampton its such a tramp hole!
> 
> 
> Back to the topic,
> I just fail to understand how This girls mother is allowing all this to happen,*if i went home at 14 and said i wanted to concieve with my then boyfriend who was an absolute waste of air but i thought i loved him,as you do at 14.She wouldve sat me down and given me a right good talking too!*

Stop flippin double posting!! But LOL at the bolded, way too true!! I think my mum would die of shock on the spot or put a chastity belt on me


----------



## annawrigley

Or castrate my boyfriend


----------



## princess_vix

annawrigley said:


> Lydiarose said:
> 
> 
> can i come?? i want to live in bournemouth so bad your so lucky to be near that beach i hate shitty wolverhampton its such a tramp hole!
> 
> 
> Back to the topic,
> I just fail to understand how This girls mother is allowing all this to happen,*if i went home at 14 and said i wanted to concieve with my then boyfriend who was an absolute waste of air but i thought i loved him,as you do at 14.She wouldve sat me down and given me a right good talking too!*
> 
> Stop flippin double posting!! But LOL at the bolded, way too true!! I think my mum would die of shock on the spot or put a chastity belt on meClick to expand...

I think my mum would spank me and put me in the naughty corner!!!!!!!!! LOL


----------



## JoJo16

I couldn't imagine only seeing Alice 3nights a week and could never ever imagine my mum telling me whether i could take my own child out or not. That's so sad


----------



## Lydiarose

Anna watch your mouth or you will feel by sleep deprived wrath, ;) i cant flippin help it it keps double posting ;) :flower:


----------



## princess_vix

Yeah Anna watch your mouth!!


----------



## annawrigley

Watch your face


----------



## princess_vix

why what you gonna do blud?


----------



## hot tea

I was flayed for posting my opinions in this thread, prosecuted and pronounced resident bitch for even suggesting that a man of near 30 being with a teenager might be a bit strange... And then you gals come on and harrass this poor, confused girl and somehow get away with it!

Not sure what this thread has turned into, but shame on you all. Whether you disagree with her or not, that was never the point of this thread.


----------



## princess_vix

ill bang you out mate!!


----------



## emyandpotato

hot tea said:


> I was flayed for posting my opinions in this thread, prosecuted and pronounced resident bitch for even suggesting that a man of near 30 being with a teenager might be a bit strange... And then you gals come on and harrass this poor, confused girl and somehow get away with it!
> 
> Not sure what this thread has turned into, but shame on you all. Whether you disagree with her or not, that was never the point of this thread.

People were just curious about her situation as it was confusing.


----------



## Lydiarose

wow change of opinion there hot tea.


----------



## annawrigley

There was no real point of the thread, we're just trying to work out this crazy story cos it seems to either be
A) Bullshit 
or
B) A child being brought up in a totally unsuitable environment, and another one being added to the mix

Neither of which I am gonna pussyfoot around.


----------



## lily123

hot tea said:


> I was flayed for posting my opinions in this thread, prosecuted and pronounced resident bitch for even suggesting that a man of near 30 being with a teenager might be a bit strange... *And then you gals come on and harrass this poor, confused girl and somehow get away with it!*
> 
> Not sure what this thread has turned into, but shame on you all. Whether you disagree with her or not, that was never the point of this thread.

I don't think anyone is harrassing her, i just think people (including me) are truly baffled by this situation. I think everyone has pretty much got it down to a tee. That should not happen. end of.


----------



## syntaxerror

hot tea said:


> I was flayed for posting my opinions in this thread, prosecuted and pronounced resident bitch for even suggesting that a man of near 30 being with a teenager might be a bit strange... And then you gals come on and harrass this poor, confused girl and somehow get away with it!

I found this interesting too. I think angel.mummy is a little more even-tempered than some who may've been online the other day. Or you were online alone and unprotected from all the hormones. Or everyone's been dosed with chocolate today and can't be bothered being unhappy.

God, I am craving...anything cooked outside on a wood grill. Smoky chicken, steak, whatever. Apartments suck :(


----------



## hot tea

Opinion is one thing. Being as obnoxious as you lot have been, another. 

I find the story a bit odd, but come now. I think you made your thoughts verrrrry clear pages ago and... What is the saying? Oh yes. You are flogging a dead horse.


----------



## stephx

Wow this thread is soo random


----------



## princess_vix

pussyfoot ahahaha!!


----------



## princess_vix

now listen here girls....anna is not going to pussyfoot around!!


----------



## syntaxerror

I'm impressed that this has gotten to 32 pages without getting out of hand enough to necessitate administrative interference. I love it. Let's aim for 100!


----------



## hot tea

lily123 said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I was flayed for posting my opinions in this thread, prosecuted and pronounced resident bitch for even suggesting that a man of near 30 being with a teenager might be a bit strange... *And then you gals come on and harrass this poor, confused girl and somehow get away with it!*
> 
> Not sure what this thread has turned into, but shame on you all. Whether you disagree with her or not, that was never the point of this thread.
> 
> I don't think anyone is harrassing her, i just think people (including me) are truly baffled by this situation. I think everyone has pretty much got it down to a tee. That should not happen. end of.Click to expand...

Yes, clearly. Now what? Shall we say it again and all sniff our own farts as you have been?:dohh: She made a boo boo, we got it... New opinions, on someone else than this young girl.


----------



## princess_vix

Hahaha 100 lol lets do this shit!


----------



## princess_vix

who the hell sniffs there farts?!


----------



## hot tea

stephx said:


> Wow this thread is soo random

It is kind of an adventure, entering this thread to see what way it has turned.


----------



## emyandpotato

syntaxerror said:


> God, I am craving...anything cooked outside on a wood grill. Smoky chicken, steak, whatever. Apartments suck :(

Oh my goshh yes smokey chicken sounds amazing! And maybe some cadburys mini eggs...


----------



## annawrigley

Pussyfooting is for pussies


----------



## princess_vix

i am no pussy but i do own one!! a cat that is!


----------



## hot tea

princess_vix said:


> who the hell sniffs there farts?!

You gals have been. Basically it means you have been quite high and mighty with this girl. Clearly you do hold yourself above her. That is something never intended in this thread. :thumbup: you have basically accused her of lying on zero grounds in a debate thread about impersonal scenerios.


----------



## lily123

heather92 said:


> Angel.Mummy, I'm in a VERY similar situation as to the part about your niece. A lot of the girls on here don't like me talking about it, but if you ever want to talk, send me a PM. x

Heather, your situation is totally different hun :flower:
x


----------



## princess_vix

hot tea said:


> princess_vix said:
> 
> 
> who the hell sniffs there farts?!
> 
> You gals have been. Basically it means you have been quite high and mighty with this girl. Clearly you do hold yourself above her. That is something never intended in this thread. :thumbup: you have basically accused her of lying on zero grounds in a debate thread about impersonal scenerios.Click to expand...

Please i'd rather you re-phrased it differently

Sniffing farts wtf man!


----------



## JoJo16

Shame on us for having an opinion what has the world come to people actually asking questions!


----------



## stephx

hot tea said:


> princess_vix said:
> 
> 
> who the hell sniffs there farts?!
> 
> You gals have been. Basically it means you have been quite high and mighty with this girl. Clearly you do hold yourself above her. That is something never intended in this thread. :thumbup: you have basically accused her of lying on zero grounds in a debate thread about impersonal scenerios.Click to expand...

 Don't think anyone accused her of lying... Be fair, it's a messed up situation, if you openly talk about it on here people are guna ask questions


----------



## annawrigley

hot tea said:


> princess_vix said:
> 
> 
> who the hell sniffs there farts?!
> 
> You gals have been. Basically it means you have been quite high and mighty with this girl. Clearly you do hold yourself above her. That is something never intended in this thread. :thumbup: you have basically accused her of lying on zero grounds in a debate thread about impersonal scenerios.Click to expand...

Didn't accuse of her lying, i said EITHER she's lying or this kid isnt being brought up right and I think anyone would agree its a major concern when a 12 year old kid is having to get up through the night with a baby. We were asking questions to get to the bottom of the story. No pussyfooting or fart sniffing


----------



## hot tea

... I do wonder if any of you read early in this thread? 

And sniffing your own farts is just about as genteel as you have been in this thread.


----------



## annawrigley

JoJo16 said:


> Shame on us for having an opinion what has the world come to people actually asking questions!

I gave Noah some heroin today. Don't judge me though. Everyone's different. I forbid you from asking any questions on the matter.


----------



## lily123

princess_vix said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> princess_vix said:
> 
> 
> who the hell sniffs there farts?!
> 
> You gals have been. Basically it means you have been quite high and mighty with this girl. Clearly you do hold yourself above her. That is something never intended in this thread. :thumbup: you have basically accused her of lying on zero grounds in a debate thread about impersonal scenerios.Click to expand...
> 
> Please i'd rather you re-phrased it differently
> 
> Sniffing farts wtf man!Click to expand...

yeah, is rather vile as ladies do not fart :smug: We haven't accused her of lying, i haven't seen anyone say that. Also, i don't know about canada, but in the UK this is a very VERY odd situation, i personally am shocked that the social services haven't been involved.


----------



## hot tea

annawrigley said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> princess_vix said:
> 
> 
> who the hell sniffs there farts?!
> 
> You gals have been. Basically it means you have been quite high and mighty with this girl. Clearly you do hold yourself above her. That is something never intended in this thread. :thumbup: you have basically accused her of lying on zero grounds in a debate thread about impersonal scenerios.Click to expand...
> 
> Didn't accuse of her lying, i said EITHER she's lying or this kid isnt being brought up right and I think anyone would agree its a major concern when a 12 year old kid is having to get up through the night with a baby. We were asking questions to get to the bottom of the story. No pussyfooting or fart sniffingClick to expand...

Well then I suppose you are just insufferably nosey people.


----------



## princess_vix

fuck me anna your creasing me here!!

And nobody stated lying here..x


----------



## lily123

annawrigley said:


> JoJo16 said:
> 
> 
> Shame on us for having an opinion what has the world come to people actually asking questions!
> 
> I gave Noah some heroin today. Don't judge me though. Everyone's different. I forbid you from asking any questions on the matter.Click to expand...

Esme is having her tongue pierced tomorrow. Right after i adopt my brother.


----------



## princess_vix

yes that us english...fart sniffers and nosey!!


----------



## princess_vix

Ryan is going clubbing tommorow i shall be buying him a litre of vodka.


----------



## syntaxerror

She said farts and she said pussy! Jesus, guys, I still giggle uncontrollably at "boobs," what are you doing?


----------



## hot tea

annawrigley said:


> JoJo16 said:
> 
> 
> Shame on us for having an opinion what has the world come to people actually asking questions!
> 
> I gave Noah some heroin today. Don't judge me though. Everyone's different. I forbid you from asking any questions on the matter.Click to expand...

As if yoy actually care about her. You just wanted to let loose and have a good gossip. 

I am done with this. Clearly you are just too "involved". 

:nope:


----------



## Hunkdorey

emyandpotato said:


> Hunkdorey said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> princess_vix said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> The Government cover your childcare fees for you to go back to school or college
> 
> They do indeed..good point forgot about that so :thumbup: to you!
> 
> Can i just ask angelmummy..how will you LO be supported as you can't claim benefits till 16 yrs of age or after school gcse dates(my problem when i first fell pregnant at 15 and couldn't claim till GCSE had finished)
> 
> Tell me to butt out if i'm being nosey just really curious hun as you state you were TTC but how will you support you and baby :hugs:
> 
> Please please don't take this the wrong way xClick to expand...
> 
> Sorry for butting in, but just thought I had a little input here. My mums Best Friend's daughter fell pregnant and had a little boy at 14. Because she was still under 16 and required to attend school, the government (dont know if it was central or local) paid for a childminder so she could return to high school.
> 
> Anyways, thats actually not why I posted, lol. As for her benefits, she couldn't claim them as she was under 16, but her mum could claim them on her behalf. I think she now gets to pick them up herself as she has turned 16, but before then I'm sure her mum did. She just got the money and gave it straight to her daughter.
> 
> As for having a life, I think its great when teen mothers do get to look after their LO but still be able to go out and about with the support of their parents. However, I find that with my little cousin (not really, but as close as) that she is not really looked apon by her son as his mother - his gran has been far too involved - in fact - she wont even let her daughter take her son out a walk in his buggy if its "too far". I'm sorry, but she was old enough to have sex and get pregnant and keep this pregnancy secret for a whole 6 months - she should be old enough to be trusted to look after her LO.
> 
> Even now, she doesnt look after him 24/7 - she goes out with her b/f (not FOB as he turned out to be a proper loser) 3 nights a week, her son goes to his other grans one night every weekend, so as a full time mum, she really only has her son 3 nights a week, and thats with her mum constantly helping/taking over.
> 
> Sorry - had no idea I was going to go on such a rant. :blush:Click to expand...
> 
> While that shouldn't happen, it's only one story. There is probably a fourteen year old mother somewhere whose child ended up studying medicine at Oxford or something.Click to expand...

No, I dont for a second think that all 14yo parents are bad parents, far from it - there is nothing to suggest that her little boy will not be successful at whatever he decides to do. What does bother me, though, are the parents of such children who want to have children or are already pregnant who say they are completely supportive. _*To me, there is a massive difference between being supportive and being just plain interfering!! *_I think my cousin would have been a great little mother, if she had been left to be! Instead, she is always pushed aside. I hope eventually she begins to speak up for herself and tell her mum to stop it, that she is more than capable of looking after her own child.


----------



## princess_vix

well i do actually care as to wether there is a little toddler being looked after by a friggin 14 yr old!!


----------



## hot tea

syntaxerror said:


> She said farts and she said pussy! Jesus, guys, I still giggle uncontrollably at "boobs," what are you doing?

Prime example of the type of mothers I do not hang around with. :thumbup: How stale and completely expected.


----------



## annawrigley

hot tea said:


> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> princess_vix said:
> 
> 
> who the hell sniffs there farts?!
> 
> You gals have been. Basically it means you have been quite high and mighty with this girl. Clearly you do hold yourself above her. That is something never intended in this thread. :thumbup: you have basically accused her of lying on zero grounds in a debate thread about impersonal scenerios.Click to expand...
> 
> Didn't accuse of her lying, i said EITHER she's lying or this kid isnt being brought up right and I think anyone would agree its a major concern when a 12 year old kid is having to get up through the night with a baby. We were asking questions to get to the bottom of the story. No pussyfooting or fart sniffingClick to expand...
> 
> Well then I suppose you are just insufferably nosey people.Click to expand...

Totally. Either that or concerned about the poor kids caught up in this mess. Dunno about you but if a 14 year old girl who got pregnant on purpose told you she raised her 19 month old niece cos her mum was too ill to look after her after she got left on the doorstep with a note from her mother who decided she never wanted to see her again.......... Not curious? Not in the slightest? :coffee:


----------



## JoJo16

Yea that's fine anna its pretty normal posting stuff like that and nobody questioning you. 
I bet esme will look gorgeous maybe get her nose done too


----------



## heather92

lily123 said:


> heather92 said:
> 
> 
> Angel.Mummy, I'm in a VERY similar situation as to the part about your niece. A lot of the girls on here don't like me talking about it, but if you ever want to talk, send me a PM. x
> 
> Heather, your situation is totally different hun :flower:
> xClick to expand...

I know it isn't exactly the same (I'm four years older and not pregnant), but she was having basically the same things said to her as I had said to me if you think about it. I don't want to start the fight over again though, that's why I had her PM me instead of discussing it on here.


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## princess_vix

get her belly done..maybe some skin divers.she'd look a princess.


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## annawrigley

hot tea said:


> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> She said farts and she said pussy! Jesus, guys, I still giggle uncontrollably at "boobs," what are you doing?
> 
> Prime example of the type of mothers I do not hang around with. :thumbup: How stale and completely expected.Click to expand...

Now who's high and mighty? ;)


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## stephx

hot tea said:


> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> She said farts and she said pussy! Jesus, guys, I still giggle uncontrollably at "boobs," what are you doing?
> 
> Prime example of the type of mothers I do not hang around with. :thumbup: How stale and completely expected.Click to expand...

Gosh, high horse much??


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## princess_vix

get off your high horse...down horsey down!!


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## stephx

Lol Anna great minds?...


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## heather92

It really IS amazing this thread wasn't closed on, like, page ten.


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## princess_vix

*neigh neigh*


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## syntaxerror

hot tea said:


> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> She said farts and she said pussy! Jesus, guys, I still giggle uncontrollably at "boobs," what are you doing?
> 
> Prime example of the type of mothers I do not hang around with. :thumbup: How stale and completely expected.Click to expand...

Hon, I'm the only one who's been backing you, near as I can tell. Chill out. I'd like to think I'm a fully functional person -- you can have a resume, if you like. Allow me to be amused by small things; I'd like to think it'll save me while raising a small boy.


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## princess_vix

Boobs reminds me of phonejacker!!


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## annawrigley

:mamafy: Closest I could find to a horse


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## ~RedLily~

syntaxerror said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> She said farts and she said pussy! Jesus, guys, I still giggle uncontrollably at "boobs," what are you doing?
> 
> Prime example of the type of mothers I do not hang around with. :thumbup: How stale and completely expected.Click to expand...
> 
> Hon, I'm the only one who's been backing you, near as I can tell. Chill out. I'd like to think I'm a fully functional person -- you can have a resume, if you like. Allow me to be amused by small things; I'd like to think it'll save me while raising a small boy.Click to expand...

Didn't you know once you have a child you can't have a sense of humour?


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## Mellie1988

> Didn't accuse of her lying, i said EITHER she's lying or this kid isnt being brought up right and I think anyone would agree its a major concern when a 12 year old kid is having to get up through the night with a baby. We were asking questions to get to the bottom of the story. *No pussyfooting or fart sniffing*

:rofl: . That is all. Easily amused I am :thumbup:


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## princess_vix

bahahahahahabababahahababab


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## JoJo16

Least a few of us have a sense of humor and can turn a ridiculous thread around


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## hot tea

syntaxerror said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> She said farts and she said pussy! Jesus, guys, I still giggle uncontrollably at "boobs," what are you doing?
> 
> Prime example of the type of mothers I do not hang around with. :thumbup: How stale and completely expected.Click to expand...
> 
> Hon, I'm the only one who's been backing you, near as I can tell. Chill out. I'd like to think I'm a fully functional person -- you can have a resume, if you like. Allow me to be amused by small things; I'd like to think it'll save me while raising a small boy.Click to expand...

I was certainly not talking about you...


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## princess_vix

by the way i did just fart and i did just sniff it!!


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## princess_vix

it smelt gooooooood


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## stephx

You quoted her?


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## emyandpotato

Hunkdorey said:


> No, I dont for a second think that all 14yo parents are bad parents, far from it - there is nothing to suggest that her little boy will not be successful at whatever he decides to do. What does bother me, though, are the parents of such children who want to have children or are already pregnant who say they are completely supportive. _*To me, there is a massive difference between being supportive and being just plain interfering!! *_I think my cousin would have been a great little mother, if she had been left to be! Instead, she is always pushed aside. I hope eventually she begins to speak up for herself and tell her mum to stop it, that she is more than capable of looking after her own child.

Oh sorry, I thought you were just making a point about bad young parents. Her mum maybe shouldn't have pushed her out but could she not simply have continued to stick up for herself? Obviously difficult but it is concerning her baby. Her mum probably just wanted to protect both of them as most parents would.


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## annawrigley

~RedLily~ said:


> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> She said farts and she said pussy! Jesus, guys, I still giggle uncontrollably at "boobs," what are you doing?
> 
> Prime example of the type of mothers I do not hang around with. :thumbup: How stale and completely expected.Click to expand...
> 
> Hon, I'm the only one who's been backing you, near as I can tell. Chill out. I'd like to think I'm a fully functional person -- you can have a resume, if you like. Allow me to be amused by small things; I'd like to think it'll save me while raising a small boy.Click to expand...
> 
> Didn't you know once you have a child you can't have a sense of humour?Click to expand...

WRONG!
You have to be sensible. Never question weird posts. Just post inflammatory threads then run for the hills when things get heated. Then return and put on your best disappointed face at the nasty nasty girls who need a good stern word. Because we are so very sensible.


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## syntaxerror

I'm not keeping up with this, lol. Stepped out of the room to get a bowl of ice cream and everything got crazy.


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## lily123

Guys. I am creasing over here :rofl:


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## Andypanda6570

I actually feel horrible I can't understand 14 and being pregnant my God you are just starting to develop and get your AF . I mean what is done is done and now she needs some guidance and help, but I just am in shock at the age, my God she is still a baby and it really hurts me and i don't think anyone should be getting on her maybe her mom but not her. I really pray she has some kind of support system and people around her who love her and will make sure this does not happen again at least for years to come. yes anyone has the right to have a baby ,but at 14 :cry: I find it very sad. AngelMommy if you ever need to talk I am here. xoxoxo:hugs::hugs:


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## JoJo16

Share the icecream!


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## hot tea

This thread has been completely destroyed. Congrats, ladies.


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## princess_vix

I say Britain 
You say Talent 
Britain's got talent! 
It's the DJ Talent


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## annawrigley

This thread has been very naughty. It needs a good telling off and sent to bed with no supper. Naughty naughty thread.


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## annawrigley

hot tea said:


> This thread has been completely destroyed. Congrats, ladies.

That was the intention. It was going nowhere. So now hopefully it'll be locked.


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## JoJo16

This thread was pointless anyway


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## hot tea

annawrigley said:
 

> ~RedLily~ said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> She said farts and she said pussy! Jesus, guys, I still giggle uncontrollably at "boobs," what are you doing?
> 
> Prime example of the type of mothers I do not hang around with. :thumbup: How stale and completely expected.Click to expand...
> 
> Hon, I'm the only one who's been backing you, near as I can tell. Chill out. I'd like to think I'm a fully functional person -- you can have a resume, if you like. Allow me to be amused by small things; I'd like to think it'll save me while raising a small boy.Click to expand...
> 
> Didn't you know once you have a child you can't have a sense of humour?Click to expand...
> 
> WRONG!
> You have to be sensible. Never question weird posts. Just post inflammatory threads then run for the hills when things get heated. Then return and put on your best disappointed face at the nasty nasty girls who need a good stern word. Because we are so very sensible.Click to expand...

 i went to work.


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## stephx

hot tea said:


> This thread has been completely destroyed. Congrats, ladies.

It was a pointless thread anyways :shrug:


----------



## Mellie1988

I think i'm gonna need some Tena lady after reading this thread :lol:


----------



## ~RedLily~

Lol at everyone viewing this. How many people planned to go to bed an hour ago? :rofl:


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## hot tea

JoJo16 said:


> This thread was pointless anyway

How would you feel if you made a discussion thread and a group of people came in and shat all over it? Then said it was pointless. If you do not like it, then why post at all?


----------



## stephx

~RedLily~ said:


> Lol at everyone viewing this. How many people planned to go to bed an hour ago? :rofl:

Meeee


----------



## lily123

~RedLily~ said:


> Lol at everyone viewing this. How many people planned to go to bed an hour ago? :rofl:

ME :haha: i still need to hoover and fake tan :haha:


----------



## princess_vix

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-n2-4UuknI


----------



## annawrigley

~RedLily~ said:


> Lol at everyone viewing this. How many people planned to go to bed an hour ago? :rofl:

ME!!! Just ask Vicky!


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## syntaxerror

andy's point...in retrospect, I don't think I did have my period yet at 14; I was crazy-late with that.

and angel.mummy...seems to have disappeared but the more this goes on, the more I sorta want to just find some way to help her out. Unfortunately, Scotland is a billion miles away. Maybe mail her some baby clothes or something if she ends up with a little boy. That situation has to be stressful.

And it's only 630 pm here, haha!


----------



## princess_vix

watch my video that'll make ya giggle i actually sing this song round town!


----------



## JoJo16

Threads are to give opinions my opinion is it was already shit


----------



## princess_vix

Oooooo potatoessssssssssss


----------



## princess_vix

i needed to go to bed i have a friggin migraine but this is just too funny!


----------



## lily123

Small potatoesssss!


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## emyandpotato

JoJo16 said:


> Share the icecream!

I am so far ahead of you there. I have not one but TWO rocket lollies. Oh yes.


----------



## lily123

I REALLY need to go to bed :') If i stop here i'll end up breaking the rest of my ribs :rofl:


----------



## princess_vix

small potatoes on the mooon....small potatoes take a bath


----------



## princess_vix

small potatoes sing with me..potatoessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss


----------



## Mellie1988

:bike::headspin::juggle::flasher::jo:


----------



## princess_vix

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GP-Vace_yDM


----------



## JoJo16

I take it the song is about potatoes?


----------



## annawrigley

princess_vix said:


> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-n2-4UuknI

Trippy!


----------



## Vickie

thread closed for review based purely on the number of reports received


----------

