# Never had a 2nd tri loss before and scared.



## dairymomma

I've had seven m/c so far (counting this one) but this is my first one in the 2nd trimester. I've always m/c between 6 and 9+4 before so this is a new experience for me. I had a few questions for those of you who have had later losses. 

Has anyone had a natural m/c after 13 weeks and NOT had complications? And, also, for those of you who have gone the natural route, how long after you found out you were going to miscarry, did it start? Everything I've learned on line and from talking to people is that just about anything over 13 weeks should be treated with a D&C or being induced as the chances of problems increase significantly with a natural m/c. I've been pushing for a D&C since I found out my baby had stopped growing at 13 1/2-14 weeks and had no hb (I was 14+3 when I found out). However, the doctor I saw on Tuesday and the OB who will be doing the procedure seem to want me to do this on my own. (Neither is my regular doctor.) I'm terrified of the physical pain even though I have pain meds on hand and can go to the ER if I need to, but I'm also not really wanting to deal with m/c a baby that's the size of a grapefruit. Also really nervous because I've typically m/c within a week of the baby's growth stopping, sometimes as early as the next day. I'm at the end of that week right now and I'm wondering if I'll make it to my D&C appt (hopefully they'll get me scheduled for Tuesday morning but I'll know for sure on Monday).

Also, is it normal for pregnancy symptoms to reappear? Mine, which mostly disappeared around 10 weeks and totally disappeared last week are now reappearing with ferocity. Tired, nauseated, sore bbs, etc. I'm assuming it's due to my hCG levels dropping but it feels like my body wants to play a very mean joke on me. I'm even feeling little flutters and fizzy things like you would expect at 15 weeks (which is what I would have been today) but it's obviously gas or something. Other people aren't helping much either. One person asked me if the u/s tech made a mistake and maybe the baby really was fine. I would have slugged him if he hadn't been trying to make me feel better. The doctor has been giving me the runaround for days while I'm trying to get my D&C scheduled. DH is tired of hearing me bawl about this and freak out every time I 'think' the m/c is starting. Just want this over with already...:nope:


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## xxDreamxx

I am so sorry for your loss {hugs} 

I lost my baby at 16 weeks (8 weeks and 2 days ago). It devastated me :( I was induced though and delivered in the hospital with my Ob and midwife present. My Ob did not want to perform a D&C on me unless absolutely necessary. 

I really hope your Dr steps up to the plate and stops giving you the run around. I felt flutters but I think it was the hormones and gas rather than anything else. I had 2 scans as my Ob said a 2nd Dr needed to sign off to say there was definitely no heart beat.

{hugs to you}


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## dairymomma

Oh, I am so sorry for your loss! It's never easy going through this but I now know it's def harder the further along you are. You've loved that baby for that much longer, it's grown inside you that much bigger, and then suddenly it's just gone...Hugs to you too!


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## xxDreamxx

I cried daily for the week I was off work but then found going back a distraction. 

I got my period back 4 weeks and 4 days later & saw my fertility specialist who referred us for IVF next month. I am 38 and only have half an ovary and hubby has a low count so I knew I didn't want to wait too long .... I don't have the luxury of time on my side :(

Last week I felt a little off and was seeing my Ob on the Wednesday to find out the post mortem results on our baby.... Anyway got 2 lines on a pregnancy test & just sobbed. 

Time makes the rawness less & I can now talk about it without sobbing BUT random things can set me off even 2 months later.

Take your time to grieve, I can't imagine what it must be like to have suffered more than 1 loss {hugs}


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## dairymomma

Yeah, it's been a rough week for me. Feels like a train hit me on Tuesday afternoon when the ultrasound tech told me there wasn't a heartbeat and time just stopped. If I didn't have my two kids to take care of, I don't think I would have gotten out of bed at all this week. In a sense this is going to be harder than my other six as those were all at least five weeks earlier than this and, in most of them, I had complications already so it wasn't a total shock. Wish I could have gotten in for my D&C sooner as I've been cramping and spotting all day so it looks like I'm going to end up doing this naturally after all. Totally NOT what I wanted but at least DH is home today to help with the kids. Although since thing haven't progressed much, I might make that D&C appt too. I guess you never know and I hate the waiting and not knowing...

Good luck with your surprise pregnancy! I've got my FX that this is your rainbow baby and that it'll be a sticky sticky HEALTHY little bean!


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## xxDreamxx

Thanks, hope you make it to D&C and don't need to go through it at home {hugs}


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## dairymomma

Yesterday must just have been a warmup because everything disappeared at bedtime and nothing really since I got up today. If I can hold out til tomorrow morning, I'm 1st or 2nd on the surgery schedule so I *might* be home around lunchtime. We'll see what happens. I was told the same thing when I had my kidney stones removed two years ago and I wasn't discharged until 2:30pm! Just so happy they FINALLY got me scheduled!


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## xxDreamxx

{hugs} will be thinking of you.


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## RNmommy

I am so sorry to hear this! My heart is breaking for you. 
When I was a lot younger than I am now, my first pregnancy ended in a missed mc at almost 15 weeks. The baby had stopped growing a while before. I wish I would have known then to ask when the baby had stopped growing. But my guess would be just after 11 weeks because I had a normal scan prior to that. 
My doctor told me she wanted me to go through it "naturally" at home. If I wouldn't have been so young I would have told her where to go. 
A few days later I woke up in the middle of the night and had a gush of liquid (water breaking). When I went to the bathroom the fetus came out. I remember after that I was in so much pain. I ended up going to the ER, and that's where the placenta was delivered. Fortunately, I really had no complications. 
Although, I wish I would have known better at the time, I would have requested the D&C like you did. 
I'll say a prayer for you...No one should ever have to go through this! :hugs:

xxDreamxx - I am so sorry to hear about your loss also. But the surprise pregnancy brought a smile to my face :) Congrats!


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## dairymomma

Well, everything went well. Minimal pain today, mostly just achey not so much crampy. My tummy is sore to the touch but it's only a small area where I'm pretty sure the placenta was attached and my bleeding has almost gone away. Feeling pretty good considering. The doctor is almost certain the uterine bleed is what caused this. The clot that formed after the bleed stopped probably pulled the placenta away from the uterine wall enough to interfere with the blood flow to the baby and when the placenta was supposed to take over, it couldn't do it's job properly. It's nice to know the reason for this miscarriage but I still have six unexplained ones-though the OB said he thought at least two of them were blighted ovums that were never diagnosed. (not chemical pg as previously thought) He was encouraging and optimistic for my future pregnancies but agreed with me that we should do a hysteroscopy to check out my uterus and tubes anyway. I see him again in about a month and the hysteroscopy is tentatively scheduled in 3 months. Means no ttc but oh well. If it gives me some answers, then by all means, I can wait a few more months. Probably could use a break anyway. 

But, I'm doing pretty good. I had a few minutes of sadness when I came out of the anesthetic because I realized my last link to my baby was gone but then it was over and I was fine. As I said before, I think I knew something was wrong long before it actually happened and that helped me adjust to the news fairly fast. Just know my next pg, if I get another hematoma, I'm going to be majorly freaking out and probably begging for weekly ultrasounds...


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## xxDreamxx

{hugs} how are you doing?

:hugs:


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## dairymomma

Sorry I've been MIA but lightning fried our modem (that's the 5th!!! modem overall we've lost to a thunderstorm) and we just got a new one the other day. Unfortunately, our computer is over 10 years old and it's temperamental these days and won't let me on BnB very often. So, I'll be in and out sporadically for a bit.

Anyway, I'm doing pretty good. They did the D&C last Tuesday and my bleeding pretty well stopped last night. Still brown cm when I go bathroom but no staining on my pads anymore and no more pain. Have MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR baby brain and I'm just dying to be pg again but it'll be at least 3 months before we can ttc again as that's when my hysteroscopy will be scheduled. I meet with the specialist in 3-4 weeks to discuss the scope and future testing/treatment. Will see what he says but I'm going to ask for an increased dose of progesterone and/or a different delivery method (I've taken pills so far and I'm wondering if suppositories/pessiaries would work better) and closer monitoring of my hCG/progesterone levels during my first trimester. Other than that, we're sticking with my current treatment plan with the exception that I'll see both the OB dr and my reg dr for my first 20 weeks or so. More appts and both drs are about an hour drive (in opposite directions, too!) but it'll be worth it if my next pg ends with a rainbow baby. :) We'll do anything to have that rainbow, won't we? :)

How are you doing? Hope your symptoms are nice and strong, and that everything is clicking along nicely!


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