# How old is to old?



## Suggerhoney

Ok so seems a bit crazy writing this as my newborn son is only a week and half old. 

He was going to be our last baby due to my age (I will be the big 4 0 in December:-()

But I wud really love just one more. 
It's a long way off yet but me and hubby have been talking about trying for just one more baby when Tommy is about 17 18 months old. 
Thinking of starting to ttc around February 2021. I will be 41 years old and if it happens baby wud be due when I'm either still 41 or 42. Is that to old? Am I being selfish? 

People say they just know when there done and I dont feel done yet. I think it wud be lovely for my son as well to have a sibling close in age to play with. 

I have spoken to the midwifes at the hospital and they said they have alot of womon in there 40s having babies.

Theres just such a huge stigma on mums having babies past a certain age. I think its terrible.

I feel more calmer and relaxed now being a new mum at 39 than I did with my first at age 23. As weird as that sounds. 

I just dont understand why older mums get so judged. 

Good luck to all of you ttc right now. Sending u lots of baby dust. 
Please dont let anyone discourage you and ridicule you for being older. 
This world is so judgemental:(


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## Beccaboo828

Suggerhoney said:


> Ok so seems a bit crazy writing this as my newborn son is only a week and half old.
> 
> He was going to be our last baby due to my age (I will be the big 4 0 in December:-()
> 
> But I wud really love just one more.
> It's a long way off yet but me and hubby have been talking about trying for just one more baby when Tommy is about 17 18 months old.
> Thinking of starting to ttc around February 2021. I will be 41 years old and if it happens baby wud be due when I'm either still 41 or 42. Is that to old? Am I being selfish?
> 
> People say they just know when there done and I dont feel done yet. I think it wud be lovely for my son as well to have a sibling close in age to play with.
> 
> I have spoken to the midwifes at the hospital and they said they have alot of womon in there 40s having babies.
> 
> Theres just such a huge stigma on mums having babies past a certain age. I think its terrible.
> 
> I feel more calmer and relaxed now being a new mum at 39 than I did with my first at age 23. As weird as that sounds.
> 
> I just dont understand why older mums get so judged.
> 
> Good luck to all of you ttc right now. Sending u lots of baby dust.
> Please dont let anyone discourage you and ridicule you for being older.
> This world is so judgemental:(

If you feel it's right for you then go for it! 
More and more people are becoming parents later in life. My partner is 54 and we are ttc as you know xx


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## JessaBear36

My OH and I have been trying for #2 since beginning of this year . I'm going to be 38 tomorrow and just found out I'm pregnant been getting positive hpts past few days af due Sunday. We have a almost teenager and know it's crazy to have another child/baby being older then most an to be having a new baby. But in my opinion I think your never to old as long as you and hubby both say yes, then go for it. Long as your happy, healthy and stable money wise and are up to raising a new baby or 2 I see no problem being older. A lot of my friends are older than me and they are just having their babies way later in life.


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## OnErth&InHvn

Im 34. After 35 and they start to freak out but I dont think that's old. If we are meant to have more, then yay!


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## Scout

I thought I'd never have a child and had moved on with life, then became pregnant 2 months before turning 46. I was shocked to say the least. I thought I was starting menopause when I missed my period. LOL She is now a healthy, happy 6 year old. 

I do feel sad at times that she will lose me at a younger age. I've had many tear filled nights having those thoughts. I have friends who lost their moms early in their life due to medical issues so I know it's never guaranteed that you'll have longer with your kids when you have them at a younger age, but it is guaranteed that she will not have me here when she's, say 50. I'm 52 and still feel like I need my mom, who is still very active and in great shape health wise. I don't think it's selfish though. I mean, I think if you asked my daughter if she was glad to have been born she'd say yes, and I hope she still feels that way even when she realizes how old her mom is. The alternative is her not being here at all and I can't imagine the world without her in it. And, even if I had a child earlier in life it wouldn't have been this exact child that I have now. I'm just so thankful for her. Was I too old? Some will say yes, but it is what it is. I actually think how the child is loved and cared for is more important than the age of the mom.


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## Deethehippy

I seem to be having lots of 'mistakes' at the moment (kinda accidentally on purpose!) I am 45 and my OH is 53 and we have 4 children. I think if you are feeling like it is right then sometimes it is, doesn't matter about what other people are doing or your age, everyones circumstances are different. Congrats on your little one


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## Suggerhoney

Beccaboo828 said:


> If you feel it's right for you then go for it!
> More and more people are becoming parents later in life. My partner is 54 and we are ttc as you know xx

Definitely hon I dont think age shouldn't matter. 
Oh hon I pray it happens for you you have had such a long haul and u so deserve it. 
Now we have decided we will ttc again in 18 months I'm going to be staying on baby and bump and I'm so sure I will be seeing ure BFP soon. [-o&lt;


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## Suggerhoney

JessaBear36 said:


> My OH and I have been trying for #2 since beginning of this year . I'm going to be 38 tomorrow and just found out I'm pregnant been getting positive hpts past few days af due Sunday. We have a almost teenager and know it's crazy to have another child/baby being older then most an to be having a new baby. But in my opinion I think your never to old as long as you and hubby both say yes, then go for it. Long as your happy, healthy and stable money wise and are up to raising a new baby or 2 I see no problem being older. A lot of my friends are older than me and they are just having their babies way later in life.

38 is fine hon. I found out I was pregnant back in feb at 39 and gave birth at 39 and all went well. 
I'm finding it easier this time than I did when I was 23. I think when ure older u have way more patience pluss you have gotten all the going out and partying out of ure system and feel more content just being at home now and have no desire to go out. Where as when ure young it's all about nights out and fun. 
I love being an older mum and I'm definitely going to try for one more baby when I'm 41. I know if I dont I will regret it.


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## Suggerhoney

OnErth&InHvn said:


> Im 34. After 35 and they start to freak out but I dont think that's old. If we are meant to have more, then yay!

I know hon its ridiculous isnt it. 35 is so young still. 
I see it if it's meant to be and Gods will then it will happen no matter what age we are. 
When I had my first it was all like oh u cant have babies past 35 big no no but it's all changed now. 
Google gives a real low rate of pregnancy from 40 onwards it's like 5% chance or something like that but I've been told that its not true and it's a much higher chance than that. 
I'm gonna leave it until I'm 41 then try again and leave it in Gods hands. [-o&lt;


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## Suggerhoney

Scout said:


> I thought I'd never have a child and had moved on with life, then became pregnant 2 months before turning 46. I was shocked to say the least. I thought I was starting menopause when I missed my period. LOL She is now a healthy, happy 6 year old.
> 
> I do feel sad at times that she will lose me at a younger age. I've had many tear filled nights having those thoughts. I have friends who lost their moms early in their life due to medical issues so I know it's never guaranteed that you'll have longer with your kids when you have them at a younger age, but it is guaranteed that she will not have me here when she's, say 50. I'm 52 and still feel like I need my mom, who is still very active and in great shape health wise. I don't think it's selfish though. I mean, I think if you asked my daughter if she was glad to have been born she'd say yes, and I hope she still feels that way even when she realizes how old her mom is. The alternative is her not being here at all and I can't imagine the world without her in it. And, even if I had a child earlier in life it wouldn't have been this exact child that I have now. I'm just so thankful for her. Was I too old? Some will say yes, but it is what it is. I actually think how the child is loved and cared for is more important than the age of the mom.

Wow hon that's amazing. Yes I totally agree with you. I just see age as a number at the end of the day. I think as long as u can bring that child up with all the love in the world then just go for it. 
I'm gonna hold out until march 2021 then ttc again. I know if I dont then I'll regret it. It mite not happen but hopfully it does. 
Its funny because with my first at 23 I found the new born stage so hard and so tiring and was just willing the months away but I'm absolutely loving being an older mum. I have say more patience and so much more calmer and more stable than I was back then. 
Here here for us older mums:yipee:


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## mentormel

I'm 42 and pregnant with my oops 3rd. My other two are almost 7 and 9. While not planned, I am so excited about having another baby...after the shock wore off that is.


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## AllyTiel

Okay so this is a tad off topic but I’m honestly wondering, how on earth can you think of another baby when you are in the middle of waking up all night and just not being a rested person anymore? No judgement at all lol but I just feel miserable with a newborn! It is not a time I enjoy at all and I can’t wait until they are a bit bigger and sleeping all night.
To answer your other question, I think that is unique to every individual as to how old is too old. It’s a decision between you and your partner that only the two of you should get the say in. Weigh your pros and cons. Would you regret not going for it in 10 years? Then at least try to go for it!


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## Suggerhoney

mentormel said:


> I'm 42 and pregnant with my oops 3rd. My other two are almost 7 and 9. While not planned, I am so excited about having another baby...after the shock wore off that is.

Amazing hon congratulations that is very encouraging to hear. U read google and it freaks u out about ure chances over 40 that's why I just had to post here. Feel so much better now and not such a debbie downer about turning the big 40 lol.


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## Suggerhoney

AllyTiel said:


> Okay so this is a tad off topic but I’m honestly wondering, how on earth can you think of another baby when you are in the middle of waking up all night and just not being a rested person anymore? No judgement at all lol but I just feel miserable with a newborn! It is not a time I enjoy at all and I can’t wait until they are a bit bigger and sleeping all night.
> To answer your other question, I think that is unique to every individual as to how old is too old. It’s a decision between you and your partner that only the two of you should get the say in. Weigh your pros and cons. Would you regret not going for it in 10 years? Then at least try to go for it!

Because I'm completely bonkers lol.


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## Suggerhoney

AllyTiel said:


> Okay so this is a tad off topic but I’m honestly wondering, how on earth can you think of another baby when you are in the middle of waking up all night and just not being a rested person anymore? No judgement at all lol but I just feel miserable with a newborn! It is not a time I enjoy at all and I can’t wait until they are a bit bigger and sleeping all night.
> To answer your other question, I think that is unique to every individual as to how old is too old. It’s a decision between you and your partner that only the two of you should get the say in. Weigh your pros and cons. Would you regret not going for it in 10 years? Then at least try to go for it!

It will be my very last time to have a chance of having one more b4 I'm truly passed it. I think I wud definitely regret it if it got to 5 years down the line and I cudnt have any more. I wud definitely wait longer than 18 months if I was younger but the old body clock is ticking away so thinking ahead.


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## noon_child

I don't think it is selfish. I know lots of people who have had children at 42. However, medically speaking it is statistically more difficult to conceive and there are higher chances of abnormalities, but if you are aware of potential difficulties and still want to go ahead then that is your choice to make. We should be celebrating that we have the choice, not tearing each other down for making different choices to our own.


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## Suggerhoney

noon_child said:


> I don't think it is selfish. I know lots of people who have had children at 42. However, medically speaking it is statistically more difficult to conceive and there are higher chances of abnormalities, but if you are aware of potential difficulties and still want to go ahead then that is your choice to make. We should be celebrating that we have the choice, not tearing each other down for making different choices to our own.

Yes hon I totally agree. Its horrible how society makes us feel real bad.
No one shud be judged. Children are a blessing from God so when it comes to it I will just leave it all in his hands and sod society. 

I think older mums shud be celebrated and not mocked.


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## mimi4

On fertilityfriends the tread of ladies 50+ is one of the most active ones. Just imagine that you have no birth certificate, and your age is based only on the way you feel inside.


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## LuvKaya

Hi ladies!

I am currently pregnant with my second child. My daughter is 24. I am 45.

It took a 1 1/2 yrs to conceive this baby. I honestly didn’t think it would happen but I am due May 2020.


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## Suggerhoney

mimi4 said:


> On fertilityfriends the tread of ladies 50+ is one of the most active ones. Just imagine that you have no birth certificate, and your age is based only on the way you feel inside.

Exactly that hon. Age is just a number. I dont feel like a I'm almost 40 I feel like I'm in my early 30s and prob better now than I did with my first baby at 23.


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## Suggerhoney

LuvKaya said:


> Hi ladies!
> 
> I am currently pregnant with my second child. My daughter is 24. I am 45.
> 
> It took a 1 1/2 yrs to conceive this baby. I honestly didn’t think it would happen but I am due May 2020.

Amazing hon congratulations. 
I wud like to hold out until I'm 42 to start trying but I'm scared to incase it dont happen. So we will be trying when im 41. 

It's amazing that ure pregnant at 45 and just goes to show that it can happen. 

The biggest family in the UK is the Ratcliff family. Sue Radcliffe is 44 years old and is expected baby number 22:shock: she will be 45 when she gives birth. She gave birth to her last baby at age 44 in November and said that one wud be her last but I just new she wud have another hahaha. 
I bet she has another one after this one as well lol
I think she will carry on having kids until she physically cant anymore. Fair play to her but that many kids must be crazy hahaha. 
None of them are twins either there all singletons. It amazes me. 

How far along are you? So exciting.


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## Rags

If I were independently wealthy I'd have tried for a second child (gave birth to my Ds when I was 41) Age was only relevant in the number of additional commitments i had then, and now, compared to younger mums, and quite honestly looking around me my energy levels were double in comparison. I'm 50 now and wouldn't think twice about another if I didn't have to work along with all the other things I need to juggle!! I know people go on about your life expectancy and leaving a child without a parent, but as someone who is now raising my sisters children after she suddenly became ill a died at a young age I am very aware that this is a very simplistic view.


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## mimi4

agreed, the age is only a number


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## LuvKaya

Suggerhoney said:


> Amazing hon congratulations.
> I wud like to hold out until I'm 42 to start trying but I'm scared to incase it dont happen. So we will be trying when im 41.
> 
> It's amazing that ure pregnant at 45 and just goes to show that it can happen.
> 
> The biggest family in the UK is the Ratcliff family. Sue Radcliffe is 44 years old and is expected baby number 22:shock: she will be 45 when she gives birth. She gave birth to her last baby at age 44 in November and said that one wud be her last but I just new she wud have another hahaha.
> I bet she has another one after this one as well lol
> I think she will carry on having kids until she physically cant anymore. Fair play to her but that many kids must be crazy hahaha.
> None of them are twins either there all singletons. It amazes me.
> 
> How far along are you? So exciting.

It is very exciting. I’m actually 12 weeks this week. I go for my Nuchal scan on Friday.


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## mimi4

@LuvKaya - amazing news, congrats


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## Suggerhoney

Rags said:


> If I were independently wealthy I'd have tried for a second child (gave birth to my Ds when I was 41) Age was only relevant in the number of additional commitments i had then, and now, compared to younger mums, and quite honestly looking around me my energy levels were double in comparison. I'm 50 now and wouldn't think twice about another if I didn't have to work along with all the other things I need to juggle!! I know people go on about your life expectancy and leaving a child without a parent, but as someone who is now raising my sisters children after she suddenly became ill a died at a young age I am very aware that this is a very simplistic view.

I'm so sorry to hear about ure sister sweety :hug:


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## Suggerhoney

mimi4 said:


> agreed, the age is only a number

I like that<3



LuvKaya said:


> It is very exciting. I’m actually 12 weeks this week. I go for my Nuchal scan on Friday.

That's amazing hon huge congratulations to you. I'm 40 now and I really dont feel to bad about it after reading all thses comments. 
How ure scan goes really well hon.
I'm thinking of holding off now untill may 2021. Was gonna start around march 2021 but thinking of leaving it a little longer. If I conceive in may June 2021 then baby will be due jan feb 2022 I will be 42. Just gonna see how I feel nearer the time. 
Feels like such a long way off yet but I know it will fly by. 
Making the most of my wee baby boy b4 we start trying but it wud be lovely for him to have a sibling about 2 years apar . That's such a nice age gap. 
Hubby was on about us trying this summer coming but I'm definitely not ready just yet. 

Congratulations again hon


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## Medic12

Suggerhoney said:


> Ok so seems a bit crazy writing this as my newborn son is only a week and half old.
> 
> He was going to be our last baby due to my age (I will be the big 4 0 in December:-()
> 
> But I wud really love just one more.
> It's a long way off yet but me and hubby have been talking about trying for just one more baby when Tommy is about 17 18 months old.
> Thinking of starting to ttc around February 2021. I will be 41 years old and if it happens baby wud be due when I'm either still 41 or 42. Is that to old? Am I being selfish?
> 
> People say they just know when there done and I dont feel done yet. I think it wud be lovely for my son as well to have a sibling close in age to play with.
> 
> I have spoken to the midwifes at the hospital and they said they have alot of womon in there 40s having babies.
> 
> Theres just such a huge stigma on mums having babies past a certain age. I think its terrible.
> 
> I feel more calmer and relaxed now being a new mum at 39 than I did with my first at age 23. As weird as that sounds.
> 
> I just dont understand why older mums get so judged.
> 
> Good luck to all of you ttc right now. Sending u lots of baby dust.
> Please dont let anyone discourage you and ridicule you for being older.
> This world is so judgemental:(



ok, so guess what?? You’re good to go! I was 42 when my son was born . I’m 44 and believe it or not I’m considering!! NTNP but just Bd yesterday and by best guess ovulated yesterday too so ‍♀️What will be- will be! I’m excited for you! And congrats on your beautiful bundle!


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## Medic12

JessaBear36 said:


> My OH and I have been trying for #2 since beginning of this year . I'm going to be 38 tomorrow and just found out I'm pregnant been getting positive hpts past few days af due Sunday. We have a almost teenager and know it's crazy to have another child/baby being older then most an to be having a new baby. But in my opinion I think your never to old as long as you and hubby both say yes, then go for it. Long as your happy, healthy and stable money wise and are up to raising a new baby or 2 I see no problem being older. A lot of my friends are older than me and they are just having their babies way later in life.


I LOVE your outlook! I’m 44 and get loads of discouragement from friends but I agree- if you were healthy and both of you are happy with the idea then go for it.


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## Rags

I find it irritating when 'friends' feel the way they feel about reproduction should be the way I feel. I have a few friends who never managed to have children despite wanting to, every one of them still crossed their fingers and hoped right up until their last periods in their early 50s.


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## StrawBerry2

Suggerhoney said:


> Ok so seems a bit crazy writing this as my newborn son is only a week and half old.
> 
> He was going to be our last baby due to my age (I will be the big 4 0 in December:-()
> 
> But I wud really love just one more.
> It's a long way off yet but me and hubby have been talking about trying for just one more baby when Tommy is about 17 18 months old.
> Thinking of starting to ttc around February 2021. I will be 41 years old and if it happens baby wud be due when I'm either still 41 or 42. Is that to old? Am I being selfish?
> 
> People say they just know when there done and I dont feel done yet. I think it wud be lovely for my son as well to have a sibling close in age to play with.
> 
> I have spoken to the midwifes at the hospital and they said they have alot of womon in there 40s having babies.
> 
> Theres just such a huge stigma on mums having babies past a certain age. I think its terrible.
> 
> I feel more calmer and relaxed now being a new mum at 39 than I did with my first at age 23. As weird as that sounds.
> 
> I just dont understand why older mums get so judged.
> 
> Good luck to all of you ttc right now. Sending u lots of baby dust.
> Please dont let anyone discourage you and ridicule you for being older.
> This world is so judgemental:(

Id say go for it! You are NOT too old! And what a blessing it would be if you could give your child a sibling!

I am am 38 in June and will be TTC baby #4.

All the best hun! Enjoy your newborn and congrats!


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## Suggerhoney

Hi ladies 
Thank you for all the replies
We are definitely going to be ttc next year. In coming of the pill in December. 
:)


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## Suggerhoney

Medic12 said:


> I LOVE your outlook! I’m 44 and get loads of discouragement from friends but I agree- if you were healthy and both of you are happy with the idea then go for it.

Totally agree hon<3


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## mimi4

Suggerhoney said:


> Hi ladies
> Thank you for all the replies
> We are definitely going to be ttc next year. In coming of the pill in December.

amasing news, I keep fingers crossed for a positive outcome x


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## Suggerhoney

mimi4 said:


> amasing news, I keep fingers crossed for a positive outcome x

Thank you sweety. We are not trying untill next year but will keep u all posted. I keep changing my mind on when to officially try. I was thinking of bringing it forward and start trying in december but I think I'm going to stuck to the original plan and strat in March/April. Mite bring it forward a month and start next feb . I'm just going to decide nearer the time. 
Google keeps freaking me out with the statistics. App only a 20% chance to conceive at 40. I'll be 41:sad2:


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## Mumof12

You will know when your "done" and that is only your decision to make I had my last no. 13 when I was 44 he was an accident lol,I got sterilised when I had him as I just knew and my doc said I would probably fall again if I didn't haha,I know it was the right time for me as I dont regret it,also 4 months after he was born I had a ruptured brain aneurysm and ended up in a coma and was given only a 10% survival rate and even then only a 40% chance if I sur8of not having brain damage ,well I got of lightly with hydrocephalus and had to have a shunt placed,so I'm very lucky I was expected be in rehab for weeks if not months ,well I was in a coma for 1 week hospital for 2 more then got sent home,the nurses reckon my recovery was so good because I was focused on my kids so for me I'm gonna say my kids saved me so I say you go for it and do what you want to do ,lifes too short.x


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## Suggerhoney

Mumof12 said:


> You will know when your "done" and that is only your decision to make I had my last no. 13 when I was 44 he was an accident lol,I got sterilised when I had him as I just knew and my doc said I would probably fall again if I didn't haha,I know it was the right time for me as I dont regret it,also 4 months after he was born I had a ruptured brain aneurysm and ended up in a coma and was given only a 10% survival rate and even then only a 40% chance if I sur8of not having brain damage ,well I got of lightly with hydrocephalus and had to have a shunt placed,so I'm very lucky I was expected be in rehab for weeks if not months ,well I was in a coma for 1 week hospital for 2 more then got sent home,the nurses reckon my recovery was so good because I was focused on my kids so for me I'm gonna say my kids saved me so I say you go for it and do what you want to do ,lifes too short.x

Oh wow. Ure a living miracle hon. I'm so glad ure ok. How scary. 
Wow 13 that's amazing. If I fall pregnant it will be my 6th. 
We have just been sorting all our house out and changing some rooms around and now we have the room for another baby so I feel really eager now. 
We are still holding out untill next year to try. Prob in Feb/March 2021. I'm praying it happens. I'm having some issues with the mini pill. I keep having 2 periods a month so I'm thinking of coming off it a bit sooner than first planned. We wont officially try untill this time next year but if a whoops happened I wud he happy. 
Thank you so much for sharing ure amazing story. Ure inspreational and such a trooper. Someone was definitely looking down on you. 
<3:hug:


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## mimi4

Suggerhoney said:


> Thank you sweety. We are not trying untill next year but will keep u all posted. I keep changing my mind on when to officially try. I was thinking of bringing it forward and start trying in december but I think I'm going to stuck to the original plan and strat in March/April. Mite bring it forward a month and start next feb . I'm just going to decide nearer the time.
> Google keeps freaking me out with the statistics. App only a 20% chance to conceive at 40. I'll be 41:sad2:

But Google might not see the correlation of additional procedures such as mesotherapy to ovaries or acupuncture and higher chances of getting pregnant at the advanced age. :)


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## Suggerhoney

mimi4 said:


> But Google might not see the correlation of additional procedures such as mesotherapy to ovaries or acupuncture and higher chances of getting pregnant at the advanced age. :)

That's true. Hon

I noticed I havent posted on here for ages. We have started trying. Decided to just go for it because me being 40 and hubby 45. 
This is our 3rd month trying now. 
We did get pregnant but sadly it was chemical pregnancy in may. Was so upset but it is what it is. 
My cycle after that was messed up and so short just 23 days. But I'm a new cycle now and I'm 2dpo and CD16. Had my peak OPK on day 13. 
Last cycle I O supper early on day 8. The chemical totally messed with that cycle. 
But were back to norm this cycle.


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