# 16 yr old, part time work and pocket money dilemma!



## cheekybint

Hi all

I just wanted some opinions on this subject.

When my son was 15.5 I asked him to start looking for a part time job, he agreed, and I said I would continue his pocket money for a further 6 months to give him time to find one. His 6 months ended at Christmas, but he'd had no luck finding work. I put this down to the reccession and agreed to continue his pocket money whilst he carried on looking.

Last night, he admitted he wasn't looking, nor did he want to get a part time job! 

So I've stopped his pocket money!

He's adamant that he shouldn't have to find a p/t job because none of his friends have one so why should he. 

I was bought up to believe that you work for a living, you earn your money and you don't just take from your parents.

I was happy to give him pocket money whilst I thought he was trying to find a job but now he's admitted he doesn't want one/or looking I'm reluctant to give in

What would you do?


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## moomin_troll

i never got pocket money so he should count himself lucky that he got any.

from 16 with my first job i had to pay rent and so did my oh when he had a job at 12.

is ur son planning on going to college or does he just want to do nothing? 

its hard to find a job right now but hes old enough to work so if he wants money he should earn it in some way so dont feel bad about ur choice


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## cheekybint

Thanks for responding moomin :)

He's going into 6th form next term and plans to go onto college and university.

I don't expect him to give us any rent etc but I do think he should at least be trying to find a part time job.


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## bobsiesgal

i got my first job when i was 16 and stopped getting money from my parents, 

i think its a good thing as it teaches you how to budget and shows you how hard to you have to work for such a little reward which can be a good motivator for school, or at least it was for me.

you are right to think he should earn his money, but then it is hard to find work right now, could you maybe give him more jobs around the house so he is earning any money that you give him?


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## cheekybint

We used to do that bobsiesgal, but he got to the point where he expected to be paid for the slightest thing he did around the house. He was getting £10 a week just for walking the dog daily.

I'd continue paying him his pocket money but he's admitted he doesn't want to find a job, which I think is a terrible attitude for him to have. I don't seem to be able to get him to understand that we won't be supporting him forever and eventually he'll have to do it himself.

I'm at a complete loss with him to be honest.


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## moomin_troll

i wont be giving zane pocket money unless he earns it as nothing in life is free and thats an important thing to learn. my littler sister is 15 and has been spoilt she has no common sence, doesnt even no how to plate up a meal and thinks she can suddenly move out at 16 and instantly find a job and a flat....she drives me crazy.

if hes going to college then he can apply for ema which is at most £30 a week. if he cant get this then he will have to work to have money. theres always cleaning jobs around which was my first job that i did at weekends.

sounds to me like hes being a bratt and testing u. just for that attitude alone i wouldnt give him a penny


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## futuremommy91

I've had jobs from the time I was 16- doing everything from food service to teaching kids how to play soccer to cleaning men's toilets. It's so so important to get that experience, especially now as it's hard to start on the job market when you're older with no job experience.
That's happening to my roommate now- she's never worked a day in her life and doesn't understand that getting jobs can be very difficult and you need whatever edge up you can get. He may be able to do without pocket money for a bit- but have you considered making hum pay for something like his cell phone bill and such? That could give him the push he needs.


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## Sophie1205

Yeah at 16 its a good idea not to have pocket money as he needs to learn he has to work to earn his money. my mum stopped my pocket money when I went to 6th form and started getting EMA then I got a part time job and she starting chargin me rent (which i thought was unfair because I wasnt earning a lot at all)
Will he be getting EMA in 6th form? xx


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## Trying4ababy

I know you said you've tried the chores around the home bit already but could you maybe assign a certain amount to certain jobs? If they were not done satisfactory he doesn't get the full amount until he can do it right.
My parents had their own business and my brother and I had to help with the business to make pocket money or find a job.


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## cheekybint

Thanks for your responses ladies 

Very good to hear that I'm doing the right thing. I will continue to encourage him to find himself a part time job. 

I'm not sure yet if he will be eligble for EMA, at most he may be eligble for the lowest payment (£10 per week), all depends on which tax year they base our income on.

Thank you all again


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## charlotteb24

I started working at 15 and as soon as that started my pocket money ended but it was different, I wanted a job! When I left college at 17 I then had to start paying my mum and dad rent as they no longer got any money for me off the goernment. It did me no harm what so ever! Infact I thibk it helped me to understand the importance of my own money and how to pay bills etc!

On the other hand my 17 year old step son is just like your son and won't get off him bum to find a job! He would rather it handed to him on a plate. He gets £30 EMA which now has made him even less reluctant to look! But his mum is no help cos she just gives into him! So keep strong and your son will soon realise that nothing is free in the adult world :)


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## CandJ

Sorry I was lurking but....

I totally agree witht the other girls, I didn't get any pocket money after abut 14 so it forced me to look for a job as soon as I hit 16. It took me about 2 months of going out on a saturday to find something but I did. 

I have a 17 year old brother, who gets everything handed to him as he lives with our father. (I lived with my mother) and he also can't be bothered to find himself a part time job.

I went back to work about 2 months ago after being a stay at home mum for a while, the first job I applied for I got so there is work out there if you look for it!


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## xolily

I worked from when I was 14 and never got pocket money - if I still needed money after my measly wages I would sneak home for dinner and keep my dinner money :laugh2: teens need to be taught that money doesn't grow on trees and most 16 year olds that I know work! x


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## lozzy21

I dident have to work while in school because that came first but once i started collage i had to look for a job. My mam gave me a few months to settle into collage but then i had to start looking.


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## buttonnose82

We never got pocket money, my parents couldn't afford it, we would get little treats here and there when they could spare the cash. I got a paper round the day i turned 13 and earned money that way.

if we wanted branded clothing then we had to earn (paper round money) the extra to go against what my parents would put in, so if we wanted trainers that were £30 but my parents could only afford the ones that were £10 then we had to put the other £20 towards them, we never went without the basics :)

What does he use the pocket money for? 16 is old enough to get some jobs and alot of employers might snap him up because a 16 year old is cheaper on their books. 

I'd put your foot down, something along the longs of 3 months and thats it, however in those 3 months he has to earn his pocket money by doing jobs around the house for you, if he doesn't do the jobs he doesn't get the pocket money


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## mightyspu

Effectively, what you have done, is offer him JSA (jobseeker's allowance) which they stop if you don't get a job! You are showing him that things are'nt handed to him on a plate, and he needs to get off his butt!

Well done in sticking to your guns, his friend's parents might be able to pay for every teenagers whim, but you don't have to! It's a lesson that his friends will find out later in life and your son will no doubt look back and be thankful for the experience offered!


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## Jkelmum

My son is 14 and had 2 jobs plus his pocket money , I give him £5 a wk and he gets 15 a wk from paper round and 12 from washing cars , I agree if he wont help himself then you shouldnt help him x


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## Jane1972

If your son isn't eligible for EMA, do you think as its based on household income that you should not pay it? £30 a week is a lot of money & is unfair if his friends get it without having to have a part time job & having to comprimise on study time??

NOT my feelings but the argument that my 16 year old gave me when I brought up the subject of stopping pocket money & him finding a part time Job. Don't worry I have stood my ground but it makes me cross that he knows what buttons to press.


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## Strawberries

I got pocket money up until I got my first job at 16 then it stopped, but I also still got EMA from school. I really wanted a job for ages before I got mine, and all of my friends were envious because I was getting more money than them so they all went out and got jobs too:haha: but I think you should start working a little from an early ages, in these days you really need stuff on you CV and if he goes for his first job at say 20 they'll be like 'so what did you do with yourself up til now?'

I think you're doing the right thing stopping the money, he'll soon start looking! :)


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## Sam9kids

I with you hun!

My stepdaughters lived with us in their teens and we made them get a job at 16. 

My eldest is 13 and hes just started his paper round which earns him £5 a week and he will be encouraged to get a part time job at 16 too x


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## ChloesMummy

My pocket money was stopped at 16 and my Mum sent out letters to every supermarket/shop in the area (she knew I wouldn't do it) and I ended up with a job on the deli counter in Safeway Lol He probs just needs a kick up the bum in the right direction, once he starts getting money in every month he will probs enjoy it. I certainly would not help him money wise if he is not willing to help himself x


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## RHR

I got my first saturday job when I was 14. I also got some pocket money but to get that I had to help out round the house. Once I turned 18 my pocket money stopped. I didn't get much it was £5.00 a week and I paid for everything I wanted except for clothes which my parents bought for me. 

If he wants money he either needs to get a job and earn it or help out around the house to earn his money too. When my lo is old enough, he/she will be expected to do this.


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## AP

I wouldnt do pocket money. Jeez I never got pocket money, and I moved out, got a house and job at 16. I think he needs to learn money doesnt grow off trees


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## bobsiesgal

With EMA, i never got it because my parents earnt too much, and i NEVER expected them to give me £30 a week for nothing.

yes it isn't fair that some people get money for doing something they have to do anyway while others get nothing (it isn't means tested just income so not fair at all), but then life isn't fair, you just have to deal with it, and tbh you learn a lot more about how life works from working than getting money for nothing. you are doing the right thing by saying he needs to get a job.

maybe you could do what Chloesmummy's mum did and send out his CV for him, that way he has no excuse if hes offered an interview not to work


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## Nickij

My Husband is having this problem with his 17 year old son (nearly 18). We stopped his pocket money at 16 after he had finished his GCSE's saying it was now time to get a job. We often do still give him some money here and there (he doesn't live with us), but not regularly.

He doesn't want a job- but still keeps asking for money. We have told him that its important that he gets a job, because once he finishes college, it would look bad of his CV if he has never worked. 

Its not like they have to work a lot of hours a week. Just a saturday job just to get some experience in a working environment.

I gather that your son (like my sisters) would be taking his GCSE's in the next couple of months? I would let him off until after they have finished, but then tell him that in the summer he must look for a job or the pocket money stops.


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## aurora

Absolutely give him a taste of being cut off. 
I had to work from a young age, as my mom had more kids when I was a young teenager, and I wanted horses. Horses eat...a lot!
I became a responsible young adult for it. Those kids my mom had later in life? Well... how bout...irresponsible, nasty, spoiled, and no idea how to look after themselves. NO concept of the value of a dollar. They are 21 and 23, live at home, have nothing. I could go on and on.
Working is good for kids! is basically what I'm trying to say. lol


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## Dinoslass

My teenage children still get pocket money, but they also always get a job in the summer holidays to earn some more money. This buys them bigger things and to be honest lasts them quite a few months after summer. We give pocket money until they are 18 years old (adults)


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## x-amy-x

I got pocket money til i was 16, then i got a job. If he wants money he will have to earn it. But also as someone has previously said, if he is going to college and not entitled to EMA i think you should give him 'pocket money' that should cover his food and bus and whatever he might need for college. As essentially this is what ema is for xx


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## keao15

Hi, as soon as he leaves school after his exams or over (if he hasnt already) stop his pocket money dead. I never got pocket money and had to find a job to support myself though collage. I went to collage and worked 4 hours monday - friday after collage and 16 hours at the weekend. i had to pay my mum rent and contribute towards the food bill. 
my lil sister also has the same treatment. she left school last year and went to sixth form she has a part time job at a hotel after collage and on weekends when she wanted to quit she was told she had 3 months to find a full time job and a flat before she was kicked out she soon decided that staying at home n finishing collage was the best thing to do. you have to stick to your guns and dont back down.
my partner's son turns 16 later this year and i have layed down the same rules soon as his last exam is finished i expect him to be in work and paying his way i will not be paying for his food and share of the bills. he has decided that it would be best for him to go in the army so is waiting to sign up.


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## mamalove

I am quite surprised by reading this thread. When i was a teenager i was given £5-£10 every day for school lunch,bus etc. My parents bought me everything, i never had 'pocket' money but if i needed something i'd get money for it. I never had problems with working or appreciating things, i grew up thinking that parents take care of their children, for me thats normal.
I would NEVER expect a 16 year old who is in full time education to work, i just don't think that can give 100% to either school or job, and personally for me school is the MOST important thing in their lives, they have their whole lives to work. As for paying the rent - that would never even cross my mind, :O..my child paying me to live with me?? I just can't get my head around it.
I will be taking care of my children until the day they leave my house, and afterwards i'll spoil my grandchildren! :) that's what my parents did for me and i think they did a brilliant job, and i am hoping i'll be like them.


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## lozzy21

mamalove said:


> I am quite surprised by reading this thread. When i was a teenager i was given £5-£10 every day for school lunch,bus etc. My parents bought me everything, i never had 'pocket' money but if i needed something i'd get money for it. I never had problems with working or appreciating things, i grew up thinking that parents take care of their children, for me thats normal.
> I would NEVER expect a 16 year old who is in full time education to work, i just don't think that can give 100% to either school or job, and personally for me school is the MOST important thing in their lives, they have their whole lives to work. As for paying the rent - that would never even cross my mind, :O..my child paying me to live with me?? I just can't get my head around it.
> I will be taking care of my children until the day they leave my house, and afterwards i'll spoil my grandchildren! :) that's what my parents did for me and i think they did a brilliant job, and i am hoping i'll be like them.


Even if there 30? I had to pay £20 a week rent once i started working. It cost my mam a lot more than this to keep me so it was the least i could give her.

My partner paid nothing and once we got a house together he was shocked at the amount that things cost.


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## Jane1972

I plan to charge rent when my son starts full time work & put it in to a savings account without his knowledge to give back to him when he moves out. I am hoping that way he will understand that things cost & with the way house prices are help him out when the time comes.


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## x-amy-x

My mam and dad are stopping all my brothers money when he turns 19. They are on benefits and recieve 90 a week for him until he's 19. He turns 19 this summer. 

Id also like to add, he does have a job, and he also gets EMA from college.


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## Lucky.M

Most definitely you are doing the right thing. Or he will end up expecting life given to him on a plate. My daughter earned her own money from around 14. And even bought her own toiletries. She's 18 now, and pays rent, and mainly looks after herself. I think she would like not to pay rent, or to have to look after herself, but it's good for her to be able to stand on her own two feet. They will always say they have a friend who gets more than them, just stick to your guns. Good luck! xx


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## pichi

my parents have been amazing with me. although i didn't get pocket money as such - i knew that if i needed money i had to do something to earn it like jobs around the house, garden etc... once i left school i went on a year break. i worked in this year and have been in the same job since! on top of work i done 4 years full-time at University. My parents wont take anything off of me for rent because they know me. i dont go squandering my money on rubbish - it's infact sitting in 2 savings accounts. 1 for baby and 1 for a house deposit which will be getting used very soon for me and my OH purchasing our first house.

if my mum and dad hadn't given me that advantage i would have never been able to afford this deposit. it's taken me a good while.
when it comes down to money, i am very organised it is. my rule is if i don't have money for it, don't buy it. save for it.

for my kids - i would like them to learn the value of money - have them know that you have to do something in order to earn money and that saving money is a good thing in the long run.


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## Broody85

Hiya, I havnt read the whole thread and i hope you dont mind me joining in...but I just wanted to say that I think your doing the right thing to stop his pocket money. I was like your son at that age and really didnt want to get a job. My parents stopped my money and for a good while i went without anything....they didnt cave in! even tho it took me a little while i realised that i had to work to make money and even tho i hated my parents for doing it at the time I appreciate it now that im older (even tho it pains me to say that haha). Personally I dont think parents do their children any favours when they just hand them money. My OH mam is like this with him and he is 26!!! he has no real idea about money and has no idea how to budget himself. Im sure you dont want that for your son. hope this helps :)


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## pinkmummy

You are totally doing the right thing. I never got pocket money but if I wanted something every now and then I would get it.

I started a paper round at the age of 13. At one point I was up at 5.30am doing 2 paper rounds and then going straight to school (I used to do my round in my uniform and leave my bag at the shop!) 

As soon as I turned 16 I got a job as a waitress, I completed my GCSE's and continued my job. Once I started college I started paying my parents £30 a week. At this point I was getting around £50 a week from my job and £30 from EMA as I was at college full time. I was getting the bus to college at 8am, getting in from college at 5.20pm, running home, getting changed and then back out again for the bus to ge to work at 5.45pm, I then worked to around 9/10pm got the bus home went to bed and did it all again!

So as you can see I basically worked since I was 13 and I came out of school with good grades.

I would not expect nor let my child to get pocket money when they are able to get a job but are just too lazy to do so so I think you are doing the right thing xx


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## sarah1989

I got pocket money until I was 14, and even then it was from doing chores properly around the house. I started babysitting (every weekend) when I was 14 and that is how I made my money until I was 17 and got a real part time job (on the weekends and sometimes after school) at a local grocery store. 

Stick to your guns, and continue to encourage him to find work, he will find his way when he realizes he hasn't any money for what he wants to do!


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## tasha41

Stick to your guns.

I have always had a job since I was 15. Before that, I'd babysit here and there for money. My parents didn't give me a set allowance ever but if I needed money, they'd let me "earn it" doing some extra housework.

My brother got a paper route when he was like 11, did that 2 years, got a part time job. He gets advances from my mom but never gets money off her (though she does buy him say shoes, school uniforms, etc). 

My sister is the middle child... has had 2 jobs, but got fired/quit both after a couple of months. My mum gives her money all the time... buys her more clothes than she needs, shoes, pays for her to go places. IT IS SUCH bullshit, I figure this girl costs my mom about $300/month in extra costs PLUS she pays her phone bill... so I'll round it to $500/month.

She has no intentions of ever getting a job because she's got it so good! She's going to college in Sept. with no money saved, is paying by student loan -- my parents have to cosign it, and I don't know what drugs they're taking because this girl is SO unreliable and selfish, I can't see college maturing her THAT much as she's going to live in a 6 bedroom house with 3 friends.

She is 19 this year, I think it's hopeless :dohh:


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## xxembobxx

My 16 yo DD doesn't want to get a job or help around the house.
We told her we would support her totally while she was studying but after receiving messages from several different teachers about her slacking off at school it seems she doesn't want to study either.

We stopped all money to her. If she does nothing she gets nothing. That's how life is. She told us one of her friends gets £70 a month off parents and this girl will get full EMA so the parents can't be on a great income. This girl seems to be paying for our daughter to go out so us not giving her money is not bothering her much.

We think DD might be entitled to EMA but we're reluctant to apply as it goes straight to the child and I think that will give her even less reason to do anything. Easy money!

Who knows what the answer is? I did think about charging her a nominal rent and putting it into savings for her. I like the idea she learns to pay her way and if she ever makes it to uni she would have a lump sum to help her out with books and fees.


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## pinkmummy

xxembobxx said:


> My 16 yo DD doesn't want to get a job or help around the house.
> We told her we would support her totally while she was studying but after receiving messages from several different teachers about her slacking off at school it seems she doesn't want to study either.
> 
> We stopped all money to her. If she does nothing she gets nothing. That's how life is. She told us one of her friends gets £70 a month off parents and this girl will get full EMA so the parents can't be on a great income. This girl seems to be paying for our daughter to go out so us not giving her money is not bothering her much.
> 
> We think DD might be entitled to EMA but we're reluctant to apply as it goes straight to the child and I think that will give her even less reason to do anything. Easy money!
> 
> Who knows what the answer is? I did think about charging her a nominal rent and putting it into savings for her. I like the idea she learns to pay her way and if she ever makes it to uni she would have a lump sum to help her out with books and fees.

She will only get the EMA if she attends college all week and isn't late to lessons.

If she is late once or misses one lesson she doesn't get the money for that whole week. She won't get so much taken off if she's late or misses a lesson she just doesn't get any full stop!


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## becca'&amp;bump

im 16, and my mum used to give me £5 a week up until my 16th birthday.. none of my friends had jobs so i didnt think it was fair but i love it now, i have my own money and dont rely on my mum! he'll soon get fed up of not having any money, any 16 yr old would! xx


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