# Pregnant again..... and seems harder to tell parents!



## Hayley_Shaw

Hi everyone,

As the title says, I'm pregnant with my 2nd dd & really don't know how to tell parents.:cry:

I'm not really a teenager (21 to be exact):dohh: but it seems so much harder this time. Like I'm disappointing them again for the 2nd time. I'm nearlly 14 weeks, don't like at home. Live with fiance in our own house. But still feel like a child.:cry:

How would you tell your parents? By the way I'd be doing it over the phone.:dohh:

Thanks for your help in advance.

Hayley.x:flower:


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## FemmeFatal

I know how hard it can be to tell family. I fell pregnant back in April at the age of eighteen, almost nineteen, and was over the moon but terrified to tell anyone. My mother (though I barely know her) fell pregnant with my sister at nineteen and my eldest sister fell pregnant with her first of five at the age of nineteen as well. My grandparents (who pretty much raised me on and off with my eldest sister) were heartbroken and disappointed each time. With all warnings and hopes of something better for me, I fell into the same position. I didn't know what to say to them. I felt so guilty every time I spoke to them. Every conversation ended with "is there anything else you'd like to tell me?" Of course there was but I always said no. Surprisingly she had figured it out on her own. When she would call and ask how I was and I'd tell her I was tired or not feeling well she kept asking me if I was pregnant... there was my opportunity but I kept telling her no. Three states away and she could sense that I was pregnant. Unfortunately we lost the baby at 7w3d before I could bring myself to tell her. Though I can't offer much advice on how to break the news to your parents, just know that things will be alright. They may be a little unhappy at first, but most parents come around to the idea of a bouncing bundle of joy before it arrives. You seem to be doing well for yourself and your current child so I'm willing to bet they will come around a lot sooner if they need to come around to the idea at all. I wish you the best of luck in telling them. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help.


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## xJG30

https://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g146/GemLoux/welcome-1.gif


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## Hayley_Shaw

FemmeFatal said:


> I know how hard it can be to tell family. I fell pregnant back in April at the age of eighteen, almost nineteen, and was over the moon but terrified to tell anyone. My mother (though I barely know her) fell pregnant with my sister at nineteen and my eldest sister fell pregnant with her first of five at the age of nineteen as well. My grandparents (who pretty much raised me on and off with my eldest sister) were heartbroken and disappointed each time. With all warnings and hopes of something better for me, I fell into the same position. I didn't know what to say to them. I felt so guilty every time I spoke to them. Every conversation ended with "is there anything else you'd like to tell me?" Of course there was but I always said no. Surprisingly she had figured it out on her own. When she would call and ask how I was and I'd tell her I was tired or not feeling well she kept asking me if I was pregnant... there was my opportunity but I kept telling her no. Three states away and she could sense that I was pregnant. Unfortunately we lost the baby at 7w3d before I could bring myself to tell her. Though I can't offer much advice on how to break the news to your parents, just know that things will be alright. They may be a little unhappy at first, but most parents come around to the idea of a bouncing bundle of joy before it arrives. You seem to be doing well for yourself and your current child so I'm willing to bet they will come around a lot sooner if they need to come around to the idea at all. I wish you the best of luck in telling them. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help.

:hugs:

Thank you for your help. I'm so sorry for what happened to you. Just wish my parents gave me the oppertunity to say yes I was. I guess it would be so much easier than to say " Guess what mum & dad? I'm PREGNANT!" I just wish it was as easy as that.

I really don't know why I'm getting so worried. I work, have my own home with my fiance and my daughters health (apart from shes just getting rid of chicken pox):dohh:

Yet again thank you for your message. Any help is better than no help.:hugs:

Hayley.x


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## asacia

I can't really relate, so this might be completely useless! 

I was worried about telling my Nan I was pregnant. I was 22, had been married for four years and very settled, but I knew she wouldn't approve. So when I told her, I made sure I said it in such a happy way. I said something along the lines of "Nan, I'm having a baby and I'm so happy and excited!". She said 'oh' but got the message when I asked "Isn't it wonderful?!". She could tell I was happy and wasn't going to stand for her being negative, and she has been wonderful about it.

It might not work in your situation, I hope you manage to tell them.


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## FemmeFatal

Perhaps telling your parents in another way would be easier? I am nearly certain that I will tell my grandparents in the manner of pen and paper. That way ensures I can say everything I need to say without interruption and give me the ability to make sure it all comes out in the right way. I intend to wait until I hit the 12 week mark to be sure that I am in the relatively safe zone, perhaps send a scan picture with the letter. Then again, I've always been best at organizing my thoughts and words through ink rather than in a verbal manner. I hope all goes well. I'm sure you'll find a way that best suits you.


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## Xavier_Alonso

Hayley_Shaw said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> As the title says, I'm pregnant with my 2nd dd & really don't know how to tell parents.:cry:
> 
> I'm not really a teenager (21 to be exact):dohh: but it seems so much harder this time. Like I'm disappointing them again for the 2nd time. I'm nearlly 14 weeks, don't like at home. Live with fiance in our own house. But still feel like a child.:cry:
> 
> How would you tell your parents? By the way I'd be doing it over the phone.:dohh:
> 
> Thanks for your help in advance.
> 
> Hayley.x:flower:

Any parent including you when your kids get to your age, will act the same because having a child is a big issue. Obviously parents look back at what they experienced and don't want you to experience that stress they went through especially if you're not settled or financially stable. 
and the thing is if you've given them reasons to believe that you are not mature but in your mind you think you are (just like everybody thought they were when they were younger) then they'll think it's you not being clever or learning from your past experience i.e having baby number 1. 
If you want them to see that you're grown up and that you can stand on your own two feet, go see them face to face and tell them. There may be arguments but a part of you will feel different and relieved that you've actually stood up to them and told them that you're actually happy with having another baby.


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## aidensxmomma

I'm 18 and the mom of two had just about died when I had to tell my mom I was pregnant for the second time. 

I told my mom face to face but it basically just started by me telling her I had something really important to say. She said "you better not be pregnant again" and when I started crying she figured it out. Of course she was really upset and everything but now that her second grandchild is here, she's very much in love with her. 

I spent a lot of time upset because I felt like I was the only one who wanted this baby but I know now that everyone was just worried about how me and my OH would cope, especially because neither of us was working and we were living with our parents. But as soon as my OH got a job everything was much more relaxed and I was happier about my pregnancy as was everyone else. If I would have realized that earlier, my pregnancy would have been much smoother. 

Like others have said, make sure you let your parents know that you are happy about it and they don't really have anything to worry about since you are on your own and supporting yourself.

Sorry it's not really good advice. But I do know how you're feeling. Good luck with everything. :hugs:


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## Hayley_Shaw

Xavier_Alonso said:


> Hayley_Shaw said:
> 
> 
> Hi everyone,
> 
> As the title says, I'm pregnant with my 2nd dd & really don't know how to tell parents.:cry:
> 
> I'm not really a teenager (21 to be exact):dohh: but it seems so much harder this time. Like I'm disappointing them again for the 2nd time. I'm nearlly 14 weeks, don't like at home. Live with fiance in our own house. But still feel like a child.:cry:
> 
> How would you tell your parents? By the way I'd be doing it over the phone.:dohh:
> 
> Thanks for your help in advance.
> 
> Hayley.x:flower:
> 
> Any parent including you when your kids get to your age, will act the same because having a child is a big issue. Obviously parents look back at what they experienced and don't want you to experience that stress they went through especially if you're not settled or financially stable.
> and the thing is if you've given them reasons to believe that you are not mature but in your mind you think you are (just like everybody thought they were when they were younger) then they'll think it's you not being clever or learning from your past experience i.e having baby number 1.
> If you want them to see that you're grown up and that you can stand on your own two feet, go see them face to face and tell them. There may be arguments but a part of you will feel different and relieved that you've actually stood up to them and told them that you're actually happy with having another baby.Click to expand...

I may be young, but we own are own house both work and very hard. Why have I given them reason to believe I'm immature. I've struggled through hard times i.e. depression and come through the other side stronger. My family tell me constantly that they are so proud of me. Being a mum has made me grown up, but in more ways than 1. If my daughter was in the same situation as I am I would be shocked but no way would I think she as immature and shes not being clever. 

I know they will support me, just I don't know how to get the words out to say how I am actually feeling. I don't think there is any thing wrong will feeling scared about the prospect of telling their family they are pregnant again. I bet there are plenty of other women on here that feel the same. I may not be married but me and my partner feel as if we are, we want to get married as we are engaged and have been for 2 and half years, but we and the family don't think there is a need. Just 1 more expense that isn't nessery.

I find it really hurtfull to be called immature and not clever just because I'm scared of telling my family that I'm pregnant. I have 4 a-levels and my partner has 6 a-levels and 2 degrees. So are we not clever?

Hayley.


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## Xavier_Alonso

Hayley_Shaw said:


> Xavier_Alonso said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hayley_Shaw said:
> 
> 
> Hi everyone,
> 
> As the title says, I'm pregnant with my 2nd dd & really don't know how to tell parents.:cry:
> 
> I'm not really a teenager (21 to be exact):dohh: but it seems so much harder this time. Like I'm disappointing them again for the 2nd time. I'm nearlly 14 weeks, don't like at home. Live with fiance in our own house. But still feel like a child.:cry:
> 
> How would you tell your parents? By the way I'd be doing it over the phone.:dohh:
> 
> Thanks for your help in advance.
> 
> Hayley.x:flower:
> 
> Any parent including you when your kids get to your age, will act the same because having a child is a big issue. Obviously parents look back at what they experienced and don't want you to experience that stress they went through especially if you're not settled or financially stable.
> and the thing is if you've given them reasons to believe that you are not mature but in your mind you think you are (just like everybody thought they were when they were younger) then they'll think it's you not being clever or learning from your past experience i.e having baby number 1.
> If you want them to see that you're grown up and that you can stand on your own two feet, go see them face to face and tell them. There may be arguments but a part of you will feel different and relieved that you've actually stood up to them and told them that you're actually happy with having another baby.Click to expand...
> 
> I may be young, but we own are own house both work and very hard. Why have I given them reason to believe I'm immature. I've struggled through hard times i.e. depression and come through the other side stronger. My family tell me constantly that they are so proud of me. Being a mum has made me grown up, but in more ways than 1. If my daughter was in the same situation as I am I would be shocked but no way would I think she as immature and shes not being clever.
> 
> I know they will support me, just I don't know how to get the words out to say how I am actually feeling. I don't think there is any thing wrong will feeling scared about the prospect of telling their family they are pregnant again. I bet there are plenty of other women on here that feel the same. I may not be married but me and my partner feel as if we are, we want to get married as we are engaged and have been for 2 and half years, but we and the family don't think there is a need. Just 1 more expense that isn't nessery.
> 
> I find it really hurtfull to be called immature and not clever just because I'm scared of telling my family that I'm pregnant. I have 4 a-levels and my partner has 6 a-levels and 2 degrees. So are we not clever?
> 
> Hayley.Click to expand...

LOL NOOOOO I didnt say you're not clever or immature... I said if you give then reasons to think that then they'll be disappionted but reading what you said about them being proud of you then why wouldnt they accept it? I was pretty much going with what you said about not wanting to disappiont them again.


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## lilies

Just tell them, as hard as it is.....they surely could not be as shocked as the first time? It must get easier....even if only for them lol. Plus, just say ''well I did not want to spend my whole life having children so it makes sense to have a second now''. You started young, you can finish young and have time later. You have your own house, have managed to raise one child successfully already so they won't be of the opinion ''how will she cope'' etc etc. It will be crying and up all night in your house, not theirs, lol.

I think you just have to get the words out as quickly as possible, to stop you worrying about it more and more.


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## Ninewest

Be honest, straight to the point, and postive. If you are happy about it all, stick to your guns!


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## SairaJayn

Lol I'm only pregnant with first but I told mum crying. She didn't shout or anything.


My sister when was pregnant with 2nd must have been feeling like you do because she came down at 4am hysterical to tell my mum she was pregnant again - she was 21 too.


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## Pink_Tinks

i told my mum by giving her the scan pic. 
She was over the moon, i knew she would be tho. She's been on at me for like the past 2 years to have a baby, and im only 21!! 

at the end of the day, it is your life and your baby.


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## sleepinbeauty

How are you doing?


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## TattiesMum

Hayley_Shaw said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> As the title says, I'm pregnant with my 2nd dd & really don't know how to tell parents.:cry:
> 
> I'm not really a teenager (21 to be exact):dohh: but it seems so much harder this time. Like I'm disappointing them again for the 2nd time. I'm nearlly 14 weeks, don't like at home. Live with fiance in our own house. But still feel like a child.:cry:
> 
> How would you tell your parents? By the way I'd be doing it over the phone.:dohh:
> 
> Thanks for your help in advance.
> 
> Hayley.x:flower:

Hey :hugs: cheer up Hon. I was 28 when I fell pregnant with my 3rd - I was married and had lived and worked away from home since I was 19, but I KNEW she was going to blow her top because this was my 3rd baby within three and a half years and I was terrified to tell her.

In fact I managed to put it off until I was over 5 months pregnant LOL and when I did tell her she was resigned rather than pleased - but you know what? It didn't and doesn't matter ... like me you are an adult who doesn't rely on her mother to support her and her approval isn't necessary - tell her in a happy way, so that it is clear you don't expect or want criticism, and if she starts to kick off then stay calm and tell her that you love her but that this is what you want, that you and your fiance are happy about it and that it would be nice if she could be happy for you too :) 

I felt like a child with my mother until I was over 30 years old, when it finally dawned on me that nothing I ever did was going to please her, so I might as well stop worrying about her opinion or approval and concentrate on my own life and making sure that my own babies never felt scared of being rejected. You'll be fine sweetpea - just be confident and assertive without getting angry and be happy for your new bump being there :) xxx


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## vainiom239

I was 19 when I first got pregnant, with DD#1 born when I was 20. My DD was 9 months old when I got pregnant with DD#2, who was born when I was still 21. Both times I told my parents (over the phone long distance) the first thing they offered was to pay for an abortion. Both times, I explained that I did not believe in abortion for myself, since I didn't think I would be able to live with myself... DD#1 and DD#2 are now 7 1/2 and 6, and I am now no longer a "teen mom" but am pregnant with my third child. My fiance has a 3 year old DD as well. His mom was slightly miffed for about 2 seconds and then all happy to have another addition (fiance is one of 5 from a combined family), and the rest of his family is overjoyed! I am now 13 weeks and am dreading telling my parents! is this logical? When it comes down to it, I guess I still feel like I'm a little kid to them. I live alone with my fiance and kids, but still am afraid of their response.


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## Tanara

_I just came right out with it and told them. They are both very pleased to be grandparents for the second time. I'll be 19 with two kids, I dont live with my parents so there isnt much they can really say._


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## lb

What is it with people dragging up threads from FOREVER AGO?


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## v2007

laurenburch said:


> What is it with people dragging up threads from FOREVER AGO?

It must have popped up in a Google search as the member who bumped it up is a newbie :flower:

V xxx


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