# Are NP moms inherently lazy and cheap?



## aliss

I can't help but think of myself as somewhat lazy and cheap. Strollers are frustrating to push through aisles and a pain in the ass to load in & out of a car or up 3 flights of stairs. Making my own baby food or buying jars too much work...... just scoop the food off my plate. Cloth diapers are much cheaper in the long run, I don't even need to buy a 2nd set for Phillipe. We're not putting him in a basket/crib because really, I can't be bothered to get up and feed him.

Why do people think NP is harder?? I found making bottles and going to his room to feed him to be much more work than rolling over and giving boob...


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## lozzy21

Lazy yes, cheep no, iv spent £500 on two prams that both get used and another £200 on three carriers.


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## Rachel_C

I'm definitely lazy and I like a bargain but I don't parent as I do because of the money. I think it's because it's the natural way to do it that it's easy and cheap, so the other way round really. It's cheap and easy because it's 'right' - you're not having to force anything :) But I can see why you say that, I do look at people making up bottles out and about or pushing huge double buggies or spoonfeeding a 1 year old mush and wonder why they're making life hard for themselves!


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## veganmama

lazy YES

cheap NOPE

i spent 500 for a comfy ergonomic stroller (which isnt NP i know) but also 300 on his two ergonomic carriers

i have 6 breastfeeding pillows in total LOL dont ask

but thats just me though i actually find natural stuff more expensive like organic baby clothes, organic toys etc


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## Rachel_C

veganmama said:


> lazy YES
> 
> cheap NOPE
> 
> i spent 500 for a comfy ergonomic stroller (which isnt NP i know) but also 300 on his two ergonomic carriers
> 
> i have 6 breastfeeding pillows in total LOL dont ask
> 
> but thats just me though i actually find natural stuff more expensive like organic baby clothes, organic toys etc

I'm imaginging you as the amazing 6 boobed lady now!!! :rofl:

That's true about 'natural' stuff being more expensive, but I think natural type parents/kids tend to have less stuff in general so maybe it evens out. Although you wouldn't think that to look at the playroom here, it's like an explosion in a pink plastic factory with a good sprinkling of natural stuff on top :lol:. At least nice organic type clothes seem to last longer and sell on well after you've used them. With my first LO I started off buying nice stuff, then went back to cheap supermarket stuff. All the cheap stuff only lasted her, whereas the nicer stuff is still going strong for her little sister and a lot will do another baby too (not mine though!).


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## tu123

Lazy-sure! So much easier to feed lo when right next to me and to settle hI'm after! Hubby QAS away this week and thet were both in with me after my daughter got frightened by the lightning and thunder.

Cheap-yes on nappies, wipes, food but no on carriers. I have one for indoors, one for longish times out(when taking eldest to groups,etc) and just ordered a rain cover after being drenched twice this week (UK had had a cloud of rain six miles deep over it all week).

And breastfeeding equipment has cost us due to lo having poor weight gain and hiring a pump to make EBM for top ups. We also paid privately to have a tongue tie snipped at five weeks due to a long weight on NHS. Tried reusable breastpads but they don't work for so it cost a fiver every week in those!

Hubby is the only earner in this household. Thankfully he sees it as OUR money and thankfully he would prefer we breastfeed lo but the nappy stash too a bit of convincing!

Ps. Not long now ALISS. I do hope u get the birth you want this time. Mine was superb compared to the first time!


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## baskinps

Yes and Yes, though I have spent more on carriers than I have on my two never-used strollers (one was 100 bucks on sale and the other was 20 bucks vintage used!). I always wonder when moms say they switched to formula cuz it was less hassle. Maybe if they have trouble breastfeeding, but the ones I know have a full supply and stay at home so....i must be missing something! i think they mean its easier to take a day off.


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## aliss

tu123 said:


> Lazy-sure! So much easier to feed lo when right next to me and to settle hI'm after! Hubby QAS away this week and thet were both in with me after my daughter got frightened by the lightning and thunder.
> 
> Cheap-yes on nappies, wipes, food but no on carriers. I have one for indoors, one for longish times out(when taking eldest to groups,etc) and just ordered a rain cover after being drenched twice this week (UK had had a cloud of rain six miles deep over it all week).
> 
> And breastfeeding equipment has cost us due to lo having poor weight gain and hiring a pump to make EBM for top ups. We also paid privately to have a tongue tie snipped at five weeks due to a long weight on NHS. Tried reusable breastpads but they don't work for so it cost a fiver every week in those!
> 
> Hubby is the only earner in this household. Thankfully he sees it as OUR money and thankfully he would prefer we breastfeed lo but the nappy stash too a bit of convincing!
> 
> Ps. Not long now ALISS. I do hope u get the birth you want this time. Mine was superb compared to the first time!

Thanks hun, I'm so glad you were able to have a better 2nd experience and I hope for the same!!! I hung up my Ergo officially today. Will bring it out again in a few weeks ;)


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## Celesse

Lazy, yes. 

Cheaper...probably not cos I didn't know what kind of parent I'd end up as. Consequently we have a double pram collecting dust, a stroller we didn't even bother to move house with us, a beautiful moses basket that has had most use as a toy basket. Also DD has spent most of her nappying in sposies and was TW so we have a lot of little spoons and pots from that. So all the money has been spent twice as we also have a collection of fluff and carriers.


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## veganmama

Rachel_C said:


> veganmama said:
> 
> 
> lazy YES
> 
> cheap NOPE
> 
> i spent 500 for a comfy ergonomic stroller (which isnt NP i know) but also 300 on his two ergonomic carriers
> 
> i have 6 breastfeeding pillows in total LOL dont ask
> 
> but thats just me though i actually find natural stuff more expensive like organic baby clothes, organic toys etc
> 
> *I'm imaginging you as the amazing 6 boobed lady now!!! *:rofl:
> 
> That's true about 'natural' stuff being more expensive, but I think natural type parents/kids tend to have less stuff in general so maybe it evens out. Although you wouldn't think that to look at the playroom here, it's like an explosion in a pink plastic factory with a good sprinkling of natural stuff on top :lol:. At least nice organic type clothes seem to last longer and sell on well after you've used them. With my first LO I started off buying nice stuff, then went back to cheap supermarket stuff. All the cheap stuff only lasted her, whereas the nicer stuff is still going strong for her little sister and a lot will do another baby too (not mine though!).Click to expand...

:rofl:


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## Mum2b_Claire

Oh yes I'm lazy and cheap. Nappy wise I haven't gone for cheap options really, more mid range or expensive but on offer! The obsession about wraps goes entirely over my head, I have 1 ssc and a mei tai for when it's in the wash!


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## Tacey

Lazy and cheap here!

I've always been very careful with money. Most baby stuff we have is second hand, although some of my nappies were new to us. My most expensive carrier was £80, I think, but I'm sure I'll get over half of that back when I sell it. We have minimal toys, and try to live simply. 

I am definitely lazy. I'm typing this with Arthur sleeping next to me on the sofa. I don't see why I should go to the trouble of putting him down in bed upstairs, and having to go up to him again if he wakes. We're both happier snuggling down here! I have no idea how people manage with formula (especially at night, or when out and about,) or with feeding puréed food. I don't think I'd cope well with that at all. 

It helps that I think the lazy and cheap options are also the best way to raise my children!


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## Mum2b_Claire

Oh I'm so with you about the baby sleeping with you downstairs! Do I wish to spend my evening going up and down the stairs like a mad woman? Nah


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## Dragonfly

To lazy to bottle feed yes. To lazy to run about in and out of rooms and bed share yes lol I intended to do these things anyway and for the results , just happened to work out best to. I have a pram and all that stuff , I use it. Wasted money on something. Rather save to buy exciting stuff for the kids than stuff I dont really need. Not cheap just smart with money.


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## Liesje

I used to think that... But I've somehow managed to make breastfeeding way more difficult and expensive than formula, spent $400 on a set of diapers I used for only a week, went through about 7 slings and carriers that my baby all hated (he demands I use my arms at all times)... The only thing that was actually easier was co-sleeping lol


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## Dragonfly

Never went for slings, £400 for diapers? really? I never spent more than £2.50 on one. And Alex has bad reactions to disposables so he has to have cloth.


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## Liesje

Yea the ones I got were about $30 each and sit in the dryer for 2 hours before they're dry... So even if they worked, they'd cost more just to wash than disposables cost all together lol


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## Dragonfly

I couldnt afford them, I have something against paying that much for a turd to be in. OMG I am a cheap skate! lol


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## NaturalMomma

I think some things NP moms do is more work. Cloth diapers for one. Not much more work, but more work then just tossing in the garbage. Wrapping can be more work then just plopping a baby in a stroller. Attending to the needs over and over and over rather than just letting them CIO is also more work. If you homeschool that is more work then just sending them off to school, as well as if you're a SAHM/WAHM, etc.


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## oneKnight

I don't think lazy is the right word. Simple might be. Just seems more logical to me.


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## staralfur

Lazy, absolutely. I think at this point we bedshare for my benefit more than hers. She's fine in her crib for up to four hours at a time...but getting up at 2am to feed/resettle her? No thanks. I'll just roll over. 

Cheap? Unfortunately not. My diaper obsession may not be cheaper than disposables in the long run. :haha: At least I can reuse them for the next one?


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## Abby_

For me, the best thing about breastfeeding and bed sharing is being able to plonk him back on the boob for few more hours sleep in the morning. So yes to lazy! :haha:


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## fluffpuffin

I like things as easy as possible, and cheap of course. I only realised how convenient bf was when I stopped and had to get up to make bottles...:sleep:. Also I would totally BLW next time round, as soon as I started giving just finger foods things got so much easier. I hated all the pureeing. I must admit cloth was a bit too much work for me in the end - my wash basket was overflowing all the time. I didn't have the time for all the washing anymore. But I've kept all of my cloth and if I have no.2 I will go back to using them. It saved me loads of money. The ergo was amazing too, so easy for my non-sleeping baby. I wish I had got mine sooner than when Isla was 6 months old. And co-sleeping - I will get a co-sleeper cot next time to make things much easier for myself. Getting up in the night to bf was the worst but I was too scared to co-sleep without an attached cot.


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## xSin

I don't think its lazy or cheap... I think (and this might be offensive to some, for which I apologize in advance) that there are some out there though who "NP" as some kind of a status thing? Because they think its the "trendy" thing to do? I recently got 'frowned upon' in a facebook group because I couldn't wrap my head around paying more for 1 pocket diaper insert, than I've paid for the whole diaper + insert previously. Its nice that some people can pay more for the insert than I pay for the diaper plus, but good grief.


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## cookielucylou

I dont really think its lazy or cheap either-i just do what is right for us.
I prefer spending money/time on the nicer things rather than what a lot see as neccessary.


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## Dragonfly

I was pondering on this. I dont think its cheap or lazy its sensible in not spending ridiculous amounts of money on things that money could be better spent on . Lazy, well why make more work for yourself? parenting is tiring enough. I would never choose to run about in the night from room to room after my children when it felt normal to have them close to me. I would never choose to stand making bottles when it was already on me. I mean that with no disrespect to any one that does but its not me at all. Wouldnt say following a trend but following my instinct, something I didnt even have to think to much about. I think its viewed as lazy and money pinching. Well do be it then, less stress for me , more money :) 

It breaks my heart when I see new parent friends freaking because they dont have all this expensive stuff they think they need as they are scared they will be judged as bad parents of they do not provide. When all the stuff you need are actually free or cost very little. And I know this because I done it before I had my first, I spent a lot! done up nursary, new floors and all, painted, cots, prams (pram was useful I say that), all these things I didnt need or actually use?? that was following a trend !


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## jen1604

Probably lazy. Definitely not cheap.


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## Rachel_C

xSin said:
 

> I don't think its lazy or cheap... I think (and this might be offensive to some, for which I apologize in advance) that there are some out there though who "NP" as some kind of a status thing? Because they think its the "trendy" thing to do?

Is it? I have seen, to a certain extent, people using cloth nappies in a fashion sort of way, but never any other aspect of natural parenting, not that I can think of anyway. I can understand it with cloth nappies as some nappies/brands are clearly more about looks than others but I still think even the people who are all about the rufflebums or whatever are doing it for more than that. I don't know whether somebody who was just in it for status would actually stick to cloth?


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## Liesje

Dragonfly said:


> I was pondering on this. I dont think its cheap or lazy its sensible in not spending ridiculous amounts of money on things that money could be better spent on . *Lazy, well why make more work for yourself?* parenting is tiring enough. I would never choose to run about in the night from room to room after my children when it felt normal to have them close to me. I would never choose to stand making bottles when it was already on me. I mean that with no disrespect to any one that does but its not me at all. Wouldnt say following a trend but following my instinct, something I didnt even have to think to much about. I think its viewed as lazy and money pinching. Well do be it then, less stress for me , more money :)
> 
> It breaks my heart when I see new parent friends freaking because they dont have all this expensive stuff they think they need as they are scared they will be judged as bad parents of they do not provide. When all the stuff you need are actually free or cost very little. And I know this because I done it before I had my first, I spent a lot! done up nursary, new floors and all, painted, cots, prams (pram was useful I say that), all these things I didnt need or actually use?? that was following a trend !

I tend to agree with this. People seem to turn babies into a pissing contest to see who puts in the most "work". It seems that if something is ever easier, for whatever reason, it must be lazy/wrong. Feels like nothing can ever be faster or more efficient and be guilt free lol


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## Dragonfly

I seen a saying once "parenting is as hard as you make it" I do tend to agree.


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## xSin

Rachel_C said:


> xSin said:
> 
> 
> I don't think its lazy or cheap... I think (and this might be offensive to some, for which I apologize in advance) that there are some out there though who "NP" as some kind of a status thing? Because they think its the "trendy" thing to do?
> 
> Is it? I have seen, to a certain extent, people using cloth nappies in a fashion sort of way, but never any other aspect of natural parenting, not that I can think of anyway. I can understand it with cloth nappies as some nappies/brands are clearly more about looks than others but I still think even the people who are all about the rufflebums or whatever are doing it for more than that. I don't know whether somebody who was just in it for status would actually stick to cloth?Click to expand...

Where I live there does tend to be a difference between the "hippies" who actually care about the environment and making the right choices ...and the "yuppies" who just follow certain things because its 'trendy' and by doing so they're flashing their wealth to the world through materialism.


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## Toms Mummy

Alot of the "hippies" around me who are being natural parents are doing so successfully... i.e. buying local produce, which is generally expensive, home schooling... which means being able to afford not to work. They manage this because they are trustifarians (bank of mum and dad).

We live frugally, but we shop at Lidl as we can't afford the do all of our shop on local produce (although I do go to the local market for veg boxes), buy off ebay as I can't afford natural organic fair trade clothing brand new... and I have to work.

What I'm saying is, that being an NP is not cheap!... and you have to try hard to make it so.


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## Dragonfly

I will be home schooling and grow my own and am not loaded? or a hippy? sometimes people say hippy like its a bad thing to. I never met a horrible hippy and I know people who are real hippies. To be I do whats best for my family in my eyes.


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## Kess

I don't think it's cheap to get something of superior or equal quality (like cloth nappies, breastmilk, carriers, etc) for cheaper than the more common alternative, it's just sensible, surely? Equally, you can't call someone lazy for doing something that is just as good or better than a more time- or effort-intensive alternative. Why make work for no purpose?

I think being hippy-ish, green or NP can be very expensive nowadays because since the industrial revolution and rural-urban migration etc the world is set up for the more common way of doing things. We can, though, go back to the pre-industrial way of doing things but since the world is not set up that way anymore it takes more effort. Like AP, for example, works very easily when you have extended family living close and the mother and father working in the home or on the smallholding as used to be common, but now if you have to both work (common because housing is so expensive now etc) affording an AP-style caregiver is more expensive than a normal nursery. Local food used to be cheaper, of course, but now you either have to pay extra for local bought produce (since intensive farming methods make producing it all somewhere and shipping it cheaper) or put in much more effort to grow your own than you would've had to to grow your own pre-industrial revolution.


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## Rachel_C

We're just in the process of taking on an allotment so we can grow our own fruit and veg. Having seen the waist high weeds on the plot we're requesting, I'd now say I'm not lazy... or at least I hope I'm not :rofl:. Or maybe I can just set the kids to work while I read a book with a thermos of coffee :)


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## Tacey

Rachel_C said:


> We're just in the process of taking on an allotment so we can grow our own fruit and veg. Having seen the waist high weeds on the plot we're requesting, I'd now say I'm not lazy... or at least I hope I'm not :rofl:. *Or maybe I can just set the kids to work while I read a book with a thermos of coffee *

This is my dream! I can't wait for the day Alice can make me a cuppa!

Definitely lazy here...


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## SpringerS

I know it's off the original topic but is it really that helpful to distinguish between 'hippies' and 'yuppies' etc? I used to be what people would describe as a hippy. I wore alternative gear, travelled around on old buses going to protests, met my husband when we were part of a group setting up an independent media collective. That changed as I started doing more and more media work for the groups I campaigned with as I found it easier to get my message across when I dressed normally and didn't have green hair. And it was absolutely necessary when I started working, rather than volunteering for NGOs as my duty to the charity I represented included appearing professional and went beyond any personal desire to look 'alternative.'

Nowadays people would look at me as more of a yuppy type as I just look like a normal, fashionable middle class person. Yet underneath how I look I'm as 'hippy' as ever. Almost everything I own was bought secondhand, I use a mooncup (well not for the last 8 months :D ), no-one would ever guess as it looks like it's layered and lowlighted but I henna my hair with a tea/henna mix and I usually cut it myself too. It's not necessarily a hippy thing but I do most of the DIY and electrics at home as I can sort out most of those problems myself. The plan is for the baby to be cloth bottomed (in 2nd hand nappies) and breastfed as much because it's cheap and easy (because I am most certainly cheap and 'lazy') as for the health benefits. (Don't get me wrong, the health benefits are massively important too.)

The odd thing about it is that because I'm such a 'hippy' in these ways we actually appear much wealthier than we are, as I pay so much less for everything so our money goes further making us look more yuppy. A lot of my clothes are originally designer or upper-end of the high st but they came from Oxfam/ebay and cost less than stuff from Primark. You can't actually judge how and why people live unless you know the ins and outs of their situation and unless you are especially close to them you won't have a clue.


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## Toms Mummy

Dragonfly said:


> I will be home schooling and grow my own and am not loaded? or a hippy? sometimes people say hippy like its a bad thing to. I never met a horrible hippy and I know people who are real hippies. To be I do whats best for my family in my eyes.

I am not saying hippy like it's a bad thing but it does make me sad that I know people who don't work, live a nomdic lifestyle for most of the yr, hoem school, tend to their veggie patch (have room for a veggie patch!) There are no allotments near us, and don't work.... I wish I could do that! 

I have been called a hippy because I do a lot of "alternative" things which relate to being a hippy, parenting and non parenting, but I have noticed that to do it properly you need to have money x


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## xSin

What I took offense to that made me make a distinction between the two was being judged .... because I bought my cloth diapers second hand, I was essentially sneered at by other cloth diapering mums who paid full price for brand new ones, in a local cloth diapering group here in my community. That's why I make the distinction I do. That's why I say some are in it for "status" while others have genuine intentions to make less of an impact on the environment. I've got lots of "hippie" friends (If anyone has another alternative "word" suggestion to use, by all means...) and they don't sneer at me for buying second hand cloth diapers, they just think its fantastic that I'm doing what I can to reduce the amount of waste my household produces.


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## Toms Mummy

XSin.... This is exactly how NP should be thought as. Trying to do your bit for the enviro... apparently, one of the best things anyone can do for the enviro is not have any children... but then we wouldn't get very far :doh:

The aim is to offset any environmental impact you make, and as a parent I think it is very important!.... One of the best things is to buy 2nd hand! We buy everything second hand, and at the same time we're giving to charity :)


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## Dragonfly

Toms Mummy said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> I will be home schooling and grow my own and am not loaded? or a hippy? sometimes people say hippy like its a bad thing to. I never met a horrible hippy and I know people who are real hippies. To be I do whats best for my family in my eyes.
> 
> I am not saying hippy like it's a bad thing but it does make me sad that I know people who don't work, live a nomdic lifestyle for most of the yr, hoem school, tend to their veggie patch (have room for a veggie patch!) There are no allotments near us, and don't work.... I wish I could do that!
> 
> I have been called a hippy because I do a lot of "alternative" things which relate to being a hippy, parenting and non parenting, but I have noticed that to do it properly you need to have money xClick to expand...

Well I dont work, and will home school, and probably should tend to my patch since its an over grown mess and live in a very nice looking place with mountains and rivers and loughs, and forests. Not sure if thats such a bad thing of you are just jealous and wish for the life style? My partner works, we pay our way.


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## Rachel_C

Toms Mummy said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> I will be home schooling and grow my own and am not loaded? or a hippy? sometimes people say hippy like its a bad thing to. I never met a horrible hippy and I know people who are real hippies. To be I do whats best for my family in my eyes.
> 
> I am not saying hippy like it's a bad thing but it does make me sad that I know people who don't work, live a nomdic lifestyle for most of the yr, hoem school, tend to their veggie patch (have room for a veggie patch!) There are no allotments near us, and don't work.... I wish I could do that!
> 
> I have been called a hippy because I do a lot of "alternative" things which relate to being a hippy, parenting and non parenting, but I have noticed that to do it properly you need to have money xClick to expand...

I sort of see your point but I think there are two ways of doing it. One can cost you more money - you could only eat organic fruit, veg and eggs delivered by Abel and Cole; you could use nappies delivered each week by a laundry service (still not as expensive as sposies but more than washing them yourself); you could only wear upcycled clothes from Etsy. The cheaper way involves more effort on your part - grow your own fruit and veg and keep some chickens (we don't have a huge garden but the allotments here are £40 a year for a plot that should be big enough to provide what we need for a family of 4 so about 2 weeks' worth of Abel and Cole deliveries, plus seeds of course); wash your own nappies; search charity shops and upcycle your own clothes. So I wouldn't say you NEED to have money to do things like that, but if you aren't willing to put the work in and still want to do it of course you can pay somebody else to do it for you :)



Toms Mummy said:


> XSin.... This is exactly how NP should be thought as. Trying to do your bit for the enviro... apparently, one of the best things anyone can do for the enviro is not have any children... but then we wouldn't get very far :doh:
> 
> The aim is to offset any environmental impact you make, and as a parent I think it is very important!.... One of the best things is to buy 2nd hand! We buy everything second hand, and at the same time we're giving to charity :)

Depends on your definition of NP though really. To some people, NP is about raising children in a baby/child led way because that's what 'natural' for humans. Or it can mean not using unnecessary chemicals. It's not all about the environment for everybody. As you said, not having kids is better for the environment, which would kind of make 'natural parenting' by your definition a bit of an oxymoron :lol:.


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## Dragonfly

I do take the cheaper way though, I want to spend my money on nice things not stuff I could be saving on. Like we would actually burn candles here to save electric, we would not use the tumble so much (we do way to much laundry) . I dont always buy organic , I would sometimes . I cant grow all year around. I dont buy expensive clothes for myself I think as I cant really afford all that. My bills are paid, rent and food on the table thats whats important to me.


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## snowfia

Her being in my bed is lazy, yes. But only because she's such a bad sleeper that I would literally get about 2 hours sleep a night if she didn't, if that. I'd like to be in a good mood in the day haha. Cloth nappies are more effort IMO, washing, drying etc rather than just throwing it away. They are cheaper but there's nothing wrong with saving money!
And baby wearing just means a happier baby and there is also nothing wrong with that :)


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## snowfia

And giving LO what's on my plate can be seen as lazy but she'd much rather eat what I eat. She's more likely to eat more haha. And again with saving money :)


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## Toms Mummy

Dragonfly said:


> Toms Mummy said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> I will be home schooling and grow my own and am not loaded? or a hippy? sometimes people say hippy like its a bad thing to. I never met a horrible hippy and I know people who are real hippies. To be I do whats best for my family in my eyes.
> 
> I am not saying hippy like it's a bad thing but it does make me sad that I know people who don't work, live a nomdic lifestyle for most of the yr, hoem school, tend to their veggie patch (have room for a veggie patch!) There are no allotments near us, and don't work.... I wish I could do that!
> 
> I have been called a hippy because I do a lot of "alternative" things which relate to being a hippy, parenting and non parenting, but I have noticed that to do it properly you need to have money xClick to expand...
> 
> Well I dont work, and will home school, and probably should tend to my patch since its an over grown mess and live in a very nice looking place with mountains and rivers and loughs, and forests. Not sure if thats such a bad thing of you are just jealous and wish for the life style? My partner works, we pay our way.Click to expand...

I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I think it's great that you are able to home school and tend to a veggie patch and not work.... but still pay your way.

I am doing things the hard way, I've used cloth, had a veggie patch when on mat leave and whilst a sahm for a while. I'm just saying, it is a lot harder to do these thing if you don't have the money!... I would love to home school but we can't as we can't afford for me not to work, however.... I offset this as I live in Snowdonia, I'm an outdoor instructor and teach forest schools so I can bring these to my OH when he's not in school like on the weekend... but if I didn't work I could do this during the week without the added stress of teaching other kids too x


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## Dragonfly

What works for one dosnt always work for another. Over here if I went to work and left my kids in day care (no no family to care enough to look after) it would cost me my weeks wages to keep just one of them in daycare for a weel and we would be homesless pretty fast and starving. I am fortunate I believe in my situation.


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## Toms Mummy

I know what you mean Dragonfly.... I gave up my job when I went back after mat leave as it just wasn't worth bringing £200 a month back after chikdcare and never see my son! I became a sahm and have only just gone back to work as OH is strugglling with his self employed work.... It make so much sense for you to be in your situation x


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## Toms Mummy

Rachel_C said:


> Toms Mummy said:
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> Dragonfly said:
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> I will be home schooling and grow my own and am not loaded? or a hippy? sometimes people say hippy like its a bad thing to. I never met a horrible hippy and I know people who are real hippies. To be I do whats best for my family in my eyes.
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> I am not saying hippy like it's a bad thing but it does make me sad that I know people who don't work, live a nomdic lifestyle for most of the yr, hoem school, tend to their veggie patch (have room for a veggie patch!) There are no allotments near us, and don't work.... I wish I could do that!
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> I have been called a hippy because I do a lot of "alternative" things which relate to being a hippy, parenting and non parenting, but I have noticed that to do it properly you need to have money xClick to expand...
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> I sort of see your point but I think there are two ways of doing it. One can cost you more money - you could only eat organic fruit, veg and eggs delivered by Abel and Cole; you could use nappies delivered each week by a laundry service (still not as expensive as sposies but more than washing them yourself); you could only wear upcycled clothes from Etsy. The cheaper way involves more effort on your part - grow your own fruit and veg and keep some chickens (we don't have a huge garden but the allotments here are £40 a year for a plot that should be big enough to provide what we need for a family of 4 so about 2 weeks' worth of Abel and Cole deliveries, plus seeds of course); wash your own nappies; search charity shops and upcycle your own clothes. So I wouldn't say you NEED to have money to do things like that, but if you aren't willing to put the work in and still want to do it of course you can pay somebody else to do it for you :)
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> *Oh yeah, I understand that, I am definately the latter... but I struggle to find the time to do things like have a veggie patch and home school, it would be nice to have more money to do those things. Or send Tom to a steiner school! x*
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> Toms Mummy said:
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> XSin.... This is exactly how NP should be thought as. Trying to do your bit for the enviro... apparently, one of the best things anyone can do for the enviro is not have any children... but then we wouldn't get very far :doh:
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> The aim is to offset any environmental impact you make, and as a parent I think it is very important!.... One of the best things is to buy 2nd hand! We buy everything second hand, and at the same time we're giving to charity :)Click to expand...
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> Depends on your definition of NP though really. To some people, NP is about raising children in a baby/child led way because that's what 'natural' for humans. Or it can mean not using unnecessary chemicals. It's not all about the environment for everybody. As you said, not having kids is better for the environment, which would kind of make 'natural parenting' by your definition a bit of an oxymoron :lol:.Click to expand...

Yeah that's true, I definately parent in a child led way but I would have never put it down as natural parenting... But I understand what you mean when you say natural for humans x


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## Liesje

How could anyone NOT be jealous of someone having the option of not working? :shock:


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## Kess

I know things may be different elsewhere but I do think more people have the option of not working if they truly wanted to. It would take a hell of a change of lifestyle for many people, and they may not be willing to make that change, which is fine and people need to do what is right for them. But sometimes I think people ought to be honest (even if only with themselves) that they are choosing their current standard of living etc over staying home, which, as I said above may well be the right choice for them, but they shouldn't paint it as "Oh I couldn't possibly afford not to work, you're so lucky you can afford it" like I've married into money or won the lottery or something. :haha: DH used to earn £17k. I wasn't working then either, though received some disability benefits but certainly not enough to bring us up to the average wage for one person. We still paid the mortgage and all our bills, stashed loads into savings, and had enough for little luxuries, it just meant we had to not have many luxuries, live in a cheap part of the country, do a regular budget, not go out drinking or buy new clothes, etc.


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## Liesje

I agree... Unfortunately I've made the mistake of having too much fun on my mat leave... OH thinks I just want to stay at home so I can play with my babies, which is technically true. He'd resent me if he had to go to work and be miserable while the rest of us didn't work and just played games all day. 
He'd also be miffed if I took it upon myself to trade our current standard of living in for being a stay at home mom which he doesn't really see the value of.


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## Toms Mummy

Liesje said:


> How could anyone NOT be jealous of someone having the option of not working? :shock:

I've done both... worked part time, full time and spent the last 9 months as a SAHM.... I would choose being at home with my LO over the others!


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## Rachel_C

I suppose I'm 'lucky' that through illness and marriage/moving away from my hometown/job, I never got a proper career established before we had kids, which means if I went out to work now I'd be starting at the bottom again. My wages would barely cover the stupidly expensive childcare round here so it's not worth it for me to go back. In that way, even if OH did want me to work (which he doesn't particularly, I've threatened him with having to do the cleaning!), it wouldn't be the wise choice anyway. So even though it is definitely a choice for us that I stay home, it's not a difficult one!


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## MommyJogger

I would love to stay at home, but it doesn't make long-term sense for us. We want three kids, spaced ~2 yrs apart, so I'd spend 8 years at home before all our kids are in school and then what? I don't see myself staying home all day alone just waiting on time to pass. I'd go crazy. And no one's going to hire a science Ph.D. who hasn't worked for 8 years. I'd love to just run a mini farm and self-subsist/sell locally, but I'm not sure I'll be physically up for that at 35 and that takes start-up money. :(
I would disagree with most people here. I find np to be exceptionally cheap since I do everything secondhand or make it myself. But I don't see how it could be considered lazy. I end up doing so much more work than I otherwise would.


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## Linzi

Lazy, yep. Cheap, sort of though I make up what I save in most things on her wardrobe :dohh:


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