# First BFP ever, after almost 3 years TTC!



## Lues

First, I have to put a HUGE thank you out to everyone. While I am not a common poster, the number of times these forums helped me is uncountable. Truly.

I am so relieved, happy, excited, proud... etc... to be able to post here. I dreamed about what I would write for years.

It's been a long road. I've peed on a LOT of sticks. ;-) I will skip most of the details, but I want to include a few, in case it gives anyone hope.

I had low progesterone, diagnosed by me via reading these threads, but confirmed by bloodwork. I tried Prometrium (oral progesterone). Levels stayed the same. I pushed for vaginal suppositories, numbers rose, but they still weren't enough. By the end (after many, MANY months of different combinations, I was on vaginal suppositories, Crinone AND Prometrium, all once a day. It's a delicate balance.

I learned I had "hostile environment" (something that could simply not have a more hurtful name. I felt like a bad mother before even becoming a mother). 

I went to various doctors. I stopped switching doctors once I loved the office, the people, the way they did things, etc. 

And a number of IUIs later...

... there I was standing in my bathroom, heartbroken that I wasn't pregnant again. That I had to tell my husband AGAIN that I was still unable to give him the baby he wanted so much. I had checked the stick at about the minute mark. Nothing. I was a SOLID 14 days past IUI (I had the HCG shot, so I couldn't test early anyway). I figured if it was going to be positive, it would have shown up already.

5 minutes...

Okay, I said to myself, I'm gonna look real fast, throw it in the trash and move on with my day.

I'd been through this DOZENS and DOZENS of times, and I was prepping to attempt to shake it off, and move on.

Our IUI timing had been thrown off when I pushed for an extra ultrasound the day before the IUI was initially scheduled to make sure I hadn't ovulated yet. Thank goodness, because when they checked, the egg was already gone. So we did the IUI right then. But who knows when I had actually ovulated.

Besides, I had ZERO special symptoms (nothing the progesterone I was taking didn't make me feel anyway) my cervical mucous was the same as always and I didn't have that "just know" thing people talk about. There were other months where the chances seemed much better.

Deep breath -- let's get this over with --

Quick glance.

Okay, time to -- :shock: WAIT, WHAT?????!!!!! 

I was so shocked, all my cute plans for how to tell my husband went up in smoke. I screamed. I quite literally_ threw myself_ into his arms... and almost immediately broke down crying. Not cute little "happy tears". Full on sobbing. And I'm really not a crier. Such relief. 

We Did It!

My amazing husband just held me. He understood. We looked at each other in complete awe and shock of the moment. It was nothing like I'd imagined. So much more. So much deeper. So... much.

For us, it was also combined with GENUINE shock and being exceedingly overwhelmed. I believe personally, I had become so focused on telling myself that I just wanted to be ABLE to get pregnant, that in some ways, I forgot that that the only way to prove that was to BE pregnant.

But worry and concern is a part of parenthood in general. So I guess I might as well get use to it now. And I'm happy to do so. :winkwink:

*If there are a few things that someone who happens to read this whole rant takes with them, I hope it's these:*

_- Don't let the word trick you. Being diagnosed as "infertile" *does not* mean you cannot bear children

- find doctors you trust that you can listen to. Immediate decisions have to be made sometimes, and being able to say "Okay, I trust you" and MEAN it, makes a big difference

- But also find doctors who LISTEN to YOU. And when they lecture you about Dr. Google (and often, even the good ones will), laugh and smile politely. But IGNORE THEM. Google intelligently, but Google often. _

If you find information in a thread, look for proof and take it as a grain of sand. But the women on these threads are smart. Often smarter than even the best doctors, because they understand on a different level. I do not think I would be pregnant right now, if it wasn't for Dr. Google.

Our HCG numbers came back with a doubling time of 31 hours (which is GREAT!) and while I'm still overwhelmed with a variety of emotions, and there's always new things to worry about, we couldn't be happier.

So an incredibly genuine thank you, to all the posters who had threads of getting BFP after years of trying that gave ME hope. And to anyone who read this, thank you as well, for letting me be a part of your journey and for allowing what I learned, hopefully be useful, and provide hope for someone else, as so many did for me. 

And that my friends... is my official BFP post. :winkwink:


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## RubyRainbows

Congratulations! Your post is beautiful - it truly made me laugh and cry! Tears of joy!!! I am truly happy that you got your BFP!! 

:wohoo: 

Lots of positive vibes coming your way for a long, happy, healthy 9 months!! :hugs:


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## momwannabe81

Congrats


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## TLK

WOW - congratulations to you. What very exciting news. You're gonna be a momma!


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## sunflower82

How sweet congrats on your bfp 
Made me cry


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## ashleyg

Aw congratulations!!


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## Lues

Thanks so much for the comments!!

I wasn't sure anyone would even read the whole thing to be honest, seemed long and rambly, lol. I'm SO happy that you guys did and that you related in some way. I read so many posts that I related to and that helped me, it makes me feel good to think that I made someone else feel the same way.

And thanks for the congrats!! It's a little more "real" every day. I'm gonna be a momma!! Wow -- when you put it that way it makes my heart flutter!!

To all those still waiting for their BFP... hang in there and continue to be strong!


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## k4th

Congratulations!!!


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## xxmyheartxx

Huge congratulations xx


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## Hb.x

Congratulations!!


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## mytimewillcum

CONGRATULATIONS lovely!! Happy and health 9months to you!!, what a beautiful post&#10084;&#65039;, thank you for sharing this &#128536; Posts like this REALLY help! XxxX


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## jessthemess

Yay!!! Congrats!


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## ksquared726

Congratulations! Your post is beautiful, and I'm so so so happy that you finally got your BFP! I just got my first ever BFP too, and it's all very surreal but like you said it feels more real every day. Here's to an exciting and happy 9 months to both of us!
:cloud9:


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## mjemma

Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months. Enjoy your wonderful news! x


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## Bevziibubble

Congratulations! :D


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## skyesmom

hands down for the best bfp post in a while :))))) massive congrats to you and your OH!


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## Yo_Yo

Congrats!!


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## Celesteical

Congratulations! What a great story :)


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## RainbowDrop_x

Congratulations! :flower:


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## mimdan

Thank you for sharing your beautiful story with us all. Massive congratulations to you and your Hubby !! Wishing you all the best x


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## charliekay

Aww congratulations x


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## Dreambaby69

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww Congratulations. Beautiful post x


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## Mdc

Posting late to the party, but congratulations! What a beautiful story, and thank you so much for sharing.


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## dizzy65

Congratulations !


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## faithforbaby

Congrats!!! I love this story!!! Very happy for you!!!


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## Lues

Thanks everyone. It's been a few weeks and I'm still shaky.

All of our tests have been coming back great. And this past week, we got to see the tiniest of tiny little flickers on the screen. HEARTBEAT. Amazing.

There are currently two heartbeats inside my body. 

it still doesn't feel real and I'm still nervous almost *all* the time. But you know what, I'm even enjoying being nervous!!! It feels good to worry about something I've dreamed of for so long.

I'm THRILLED you guys have liked the post and I thank you all for taking the time to read it and for your warm congratulations!!


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## sugarpi24

Congrats!!! Thats so exciting! I just found out that Im expecting as well about a week ago after 4 years of TTC off and on. I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months!!


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## Libra Mariah

Congratulations!


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## Thisismyyear

Huge congratulations! I read this post and started crying! What an emotional roller coaster. I wish you a very happy and healthy 9 months xx


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## FertileFlower

What a beautiful read! Made me cry also!
Congratulations!!


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