# Home birth oppositions



## lozzy21

I though it would be great to have a thread for help and advice for people who are having to fight for the birth they want.

I know they are a few of us that have or are going to have to fight for our right to have our babys where we wish.

Share your stories, get ideas and info and support others on their journeys.


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## Pops

We have been SO incredibly lucky and have had the best support from our MW since we changed care at 15 weeks or so and I just wanted to say I hope you all get the birth you want, or at least the chance of it with the support you deserve :hugs;

xxx


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## lozzy21

Im going to have problems due to a high BMI. Apart from this im fit and healthy and do more exercise than my skinner friends who drive.

I mentioned it to my midwife at my booking appointment who said they dident get much call for them but seemed to be surportive. She just said i need to speek to my OH and if he was on board we would discuss it at a later apointment.

I had to go see the consultant for a routeen apointment because of my BMI (biggest waste of 30 mins of my life). I was told that i would only need to come back if my GTT results came back with problems. I dident like her from the start. She was patronising and spoke to me like i was some 15 year old who had got pregnant at a nightclub. She mentioned about having baby in hospital so i told her i would be having baby at home.

She told me they wouldent allow me to have a home birth.

So i told her that she wasent alowed to stop me.

She quickly backtracked saying she had picked the wrong choice of words, started waffaling on about the risks but dident say what they were. When she realised that she was not going to win she said ill need to discuss it with my midwife.

Two days later i had a letter for another apointment with the consultant before my GTT appointment.

So i can see me having to fight with the consultant to get my homebirth.


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## Kimboowee

After last week I've decided I never ever want to go to hospital ever again. No problem with my care I just don't want to go there again lol so have been looking into homebirths as we might be having a bubba sooner than we think =] We're NTNP so want to be ready and armed with info for when it all happens.
Will be watching this thread as knowing my luck I'll have trouble getting them to agree with it.

Lozzy - I hope you get your homebirth. Seems shes just looking for reasons to say no =[


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## Pops

I have been following your story in the HB and Hopefulls thread hun :hugs:

Here's hoping they see sense and remember, this is YOUR pregnancy, YOUR baby and YOUR body so unless there is a definate medical reason for them advising you against it, which it sounds like they are trying to make one up at the moment, then they will need to listen to your wishes :hugs:

xxx


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## lozzy21

Thanks Kim, Hope your ok.

That is my thinking Pop's. If i get pre eclampsia or GD then i will happily have my baby at hospital or should something happen while im in labour then i will be the first person to be ringing an ambulance to come get me but while there is nothing wrong i dont plan on going in.


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## Ley

I am currently under a consultant for mild cardiology issues. My cardiologist has said that as I have had 2 other children without any problems or risks then there should be no risk in this pregnancy either and things should be fine. The midwives don't see it that way though and I know I am going to have to fight for my home birth.

I want a home birth because I hate being in the hospital after the birth, all I wanted to do with my other 2 children was come home and relax in my own surroundings and be left to my own devices but was kept in the hospital for hours and hours after I requested to go home.
I had my second daughter completely naturally so I know that I can do it again.

I understand they have to cover themselves but I know I will be fine and if there was any sign of problems I would be straight at the hospital.


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## trumpetbum

My last birth was a nightmare to organise. Firstly my GP told me I would bleed to death, then when it was decided I was technically in the community midwifery area of another Maternity hospital she refused to refer me 'because I know it's to have a homebirth and I'm against that'. I got attitude from some of the community midwives, asked to back up my case, had a letter sent from my GP to my consultant which was patronising and quite frankly rude about my age and reproductive choices (thankfully he was old school and lovely..he was probably around at the time of the green ladies with their babies in the bags :lol:). 
Thankfully by the time the birth came around my birth was attended and a long difficult posterior labour was facilitated at home. My 9lbs 3 oz OP baby came along in the end, born on my bed without even grazing me.

ETA: this time was much easier. My trust has a dedicated homebirth team which just made things plain sailing :)


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## winegums

My last birth they were not happy all the way through my pregnancy. You should have seen the relief on their faces when he was breech and they managed to persuade me to have a c section! I really do not understand midwives shouldn't they be advotating a natural birth especially in low risk women?

This time I am dreading bringing it up as I was told 1. do not get pregnant within 2 years of my c section and 2. i would need a c section if i had another baby and 3. my bmi is quite high instead of losing baby weight i seemed to have gained since he was born haha 4. I live further away from the hospital now


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## marley2580

lozzy21 said:


> Im going to have problems due to a high BMI. Apart from this im fit and healthy and do more exercise than my skinner friends who drive.
> 
> I mentioned it to my midwife at my booking appointment who said they dident get much call for them but seemed to be surportive. She just said i need to speek to my OH and if he was on board we would discuss it at a later apointment.
> 
> I had to go see the consultant for a routeen apointment because of my BMI (biggest waste of 30 mins of my life). I was told that i would only need to come back if my GTT results came back with problems. I dident like her from the start. She was patronising and spoke to me like i was some 15 year old who had got pregnant at a nightclub. She mentioned about having baby in hospital so i told her i would be having baby at home.
> 
> She told me they wouldent allow me to have a home birth.
> 
> So i told her that she wasent alowed to stop me.
> 
> She quickly backtracked saying she had picked the wrong choice of words, started waffaling on about the risks but dident say what they were. When she realised that she was not going to win she said ill need to discuss it with my midwife.
> 
> Two days later i had a letter for another apointment with the consultant before my GTT appointment.
> 
> So i can see me having to fight with the consultant to get my homebirth.

Just don't go hun, it's not worth the fight. Write a letter to your head of MW stating your intentions and that you expect to be attended by supportive MWs and bypass the consultant totally (it's not up to them anyway)


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## Blah11

I have a question for people. I'm not ever pregnant yet LOL so thinking a bit in advance but whatever..

When I went into labour with Amelie my blood pressure went sky high. I was monitored throughout and given labetalol a few times. It was so high they initially had a mini panic and thought it was pre-eclampsia but I had my blood tested and it wasn't. My BP remained really high despite the labetalol and weirdly, as soon as Amelie was born it went back down to normal :shrug: I had to stay in hosp over night on docs orders :roll: but it was fine, and had no other issues.

Anyway, I really want a HB next time but would I be advised against it? What if my BP goes up again next time? Will I need to go into hospital?


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## lozzy21

marley2580 said:


> lozzy21 said:
> 
> 
> Im going to have problems due to a high BMI. Apart from this im fit and healthy and do more exercise than my skinner friends who drive.
> 
> I mentioned it to my midwife at my booking appointment who said they dident get much call for them but seemed to be surportive. She just said i need to speek to my OH and if he was on board we would discuss it at a later apointment.
> 
> I had to go see the consultant for a routeen apointment because of my BMI (biggest waste of 30 mins of my life). I was told that i would only need to come back if my GTT results came back with problems. I dident like her from the start. She was patronising and spoke to me like i was some 15 year old who had got pregnant at a nightclub. She mentioned about having baby in hospital so i told her i would be having baby at home.
> 
> She told me they wouldent allow me to have a home birth.
> 
> So i told her that she wasent alowed to stop me.
> 
> She quickly backtracked saying she had picked the wrong choice of words, started waffaling on about the risks but dident say what they were. When she realised that she was not going to win she said ill need to discuss it with my midwife.
> 
> Two days later i had a letter for another apointment with the consultant before my GTT appointment.
> 
> So i can see me having to fight with the consultant to get my homebirth.
> 
> Just don't go hun, it's not worth the fight. Write a letter to your head of MW stating your intentions and that you expect to be attended by supportive MWs and bypass the consultant totally (it's not up to them anyway)Click to expand...

I was going to speek to my midwife next week and if she is suportive i will cancel it. They would just be wasiting there time as they wont be able to talk me out of it.


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## laural11

Well i guess I'm pretty early on in pregnancy to be thinking about birthing options, but as I'm planning to begin schooling to become a homebirth midwife next year, and have been reading a ton, I was already set on the idea having a homebirth long before I was pregnant. 

The problem for me is, homebirths are technically illegal where I live.

Just got an appointment with as far as I know the only Dr in my area open to the idea of homebirth. He'll probably be my OBGYN backup and get me connected to the midwives who can make a homebirth possible (albeit illegal). Lots of stuff has to happen for it to work out so keep your finger's crossed


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## goddess25

I am definitely planning on a home birth this time around... my husband so far does not want it but i think he will come around when he finds out more about it. I had to be rushed to theatre as Euan was totally stuck last time and i had massive 3rd degree tears and lost a lot of blood so i can see why he is concerned. I have my first midwife appointment next week so i will discuss it then with them... I am lucky enough to have joined quite the midwifery clinic... they are highly into natural birthing and my actual assigned midwife worked with Ina May Gaskin on the farm so I very excited. I have a fairly high BMI but I am not expecting there to be any issues.

I am happy to be in the hospital if I have to be... i think its important not to create to rigid a birth plan.


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## angelae36

Blah11 said:


> I have a question for people. I'm not ever pregnant yet LOL so thinking a bit in advance but whatever..
> 
> When I went into labour with Amelie my blood pressure went sky high. I was monitored throughout and given labetalol a few times. It was so high they initially had a mini panic and thought it was pre-eclampsia but I had my blood tested and it wasn't. My BP remained really high despite the labetalol and weirdly, as soon as Amelie was born it went back down to normal :shrug: I had to stay in hosp over night on docs orders :roll: but it was fine, and had no other issues.
> 
> Anyway, I really want a HB next time but would I be advised against it? What if my BP goes up again next time? Will I need to go into hospital?

I suspect they will "strongly" advise against it and will probably do all that they can to scare you out of it. But at the end of the day they still cannot refuse you a home birth.

My homebirth experience is posted both in birth announcements and the homebirth stories on this page.

I have a high BMI and at my booking in my BP was 140/90 so I wasn't off to a good start.
I had to fight tooth and nail to get my homebirth.

I met all sorts of opposition both from midwives - who couldn't have been less supportive if they tried - and the consultant.

So here are my problems and how I delt with them.

My BP was up and down all pregnancy. It was monitored and I was (unecessarily in my opinion) put on labetalol in the last 3 weeks.
In the end the head midwife agreed to my hombirth on condition I rang as soon as I went into labour (I didn't woops!!) and that if the midwives weren't happy i'd transfer in which I said all along I would!

Scare Tactics: The medical professions favourite.

Shoulder dystocia: Can happen wherever you may be. It doesn't matter where you are the same happens. Legs as wide as possible to allow more room in the pelvis.

Being overweight my baby would be huge - errm nope. Growth scan and subsequent birth proved that my LO was a perfectly average 7lb 7oz.

"You will need a cesarean" Errm nope, I may need one. It is a slight risk not a given. 
Even in hospital a true "emergency cesarean" takes a few minutes to organise. I live 10 minutes from the hospital - quicker with an ambulance and blues and two's. In the time it takes me to transfer the theatre could be being prepared.

"Your BP could rise and you could fit" Yes this is true - but we will keep an eye on it and transfer if necessary.

"We won't know which drug to give to deliver the placenta as you are overweight and have high BP" - Fine, I'll deliver it without any - and as far as I know I did!!!

"You will lose alot of blood being overweight" No, I might again, it's a risk not a given. In the end my blood loss was perfectly normal.

"You will develop GD" Nope, again just a risk. I refused the GTT and kept an eye out for signs of diabetes. Urine was perfect throughout.

"it's harder to monitor you cos of your size" True - but not impossible and made easier if they have the right equipment including a larger size BP cuff.

"You will have to see the aneasthatist to check if you can have an Epidural" Not a prayer. There is no-way anyone is coming near me to put a huge needle in my back. In an emergency situation you will have to knock me out.

"you will have to be induced if you go ocer your dates due to your weight and BP" Errrm nope. If there is an excellent medical reason why I should then I will consider it, until then my baby comes when she comes.

There was all sorts thrown at me but I was either ready for them and "argued" my point or went home, read up on what they were saying and then made any decision that were necessary.

I also came across a wonderful independant midwife on the Yahoo Homebirth group (Liz Nightingale) She was fantastic and reassured me that I am perfectly capable of having my baby at home despite my "problems"

Sorry this is a bit long but I wanted to try to be clear and say that you may meet opposition but just research and ask questions. A well informed decision is the right decision!


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## lozzy21

Blah they will probably advise against it but just cos it happend once dose not meen it will happen again. If you say you will get it checked regulary and will transfer should it go too high there is nothing much more they can say.


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## Blah11

See it was absolutely normal all the way throughout my pregnancy, it was 110/70actually at my booking in LOL It wasn't until we were in triage in hospital that they were like OMG cos it was at 155/106 :shock:

can BP shoot up cos of nerves and anxiety? I ask this cos my BP was sky high when I wasgetting my wisdom teeth out (i needed to be sedated so they checked my bp beforehand).


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## lozzy21

Blah nerves and anxiaty can deffinatly make your BP shoot up. Some people have it every time they see a medical profesional. It gets called white coat syndrome.


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## summer rain

Good on you Angela, so you can refuse the GTT? I've been told I 'have' to have it despite not even meeting any of the risk factors for GD nor have I ever had it in the past. 

Blah, I'm pretty sure my mum had high bp when pregnant with my sister whom she had the homebirth with and this was in the 80s when even at 35 she was considered too old for a homebirth lol. She said one mw refused to turn up but the other local one was fine and she handled things.


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## winegums

blah thats a big part of bp

all through my pregnancy my blood pressure was really really high... i asked them if it might be cos im scared of doctors and hospitals and get nervous in the building etc so they gave me a bpm to take home and see if it made a difference and it was perfect, even slightly low.

i filmed myself taking my bp and how low it was and showed them haha! they were like 'do you really hate hospitals that much??'

so for all you know.. a home birth could prevent your bp going up high anyway :p

xx


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## lozzy21

summer rain said:


> Good on you Angela, so you can refuse the GTT? I've been told I 'have' to have it despite not even meeting any of the risk factors for GD nor have I ever had it in the past.
> 
> Blah, I'm pretty sure my mum had high bp when pregnant with my sister whom she had the homebirth with and this was in the 80s when even at 35 she was considered too old for a homebirth lol. She said one mw refused to turn up but the other local one was fine and she handled things.

You can refuse anything you dont want.


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## mamato2more

laural11 said:


> Well i guess I'm pretty early on in pregnancy to be thinking about birthing options, but as I'm planning to begin schooling to become a homebirth midwife next year, and have been reading a ton, I was already set on the idea having a homebirth long before I was pregnant.
> 
> The problem for me is, homebirths are technically illegal where I live.
> 
> Just got an appointment with as far as I know the only Dr in my area open to the idea of homebirth. He'll probably be my OBGYN backup and get me connected to the midwives who can make a homebirth possible (albeit illegal). Lots of stuff has to happen for it to work out so keep your finger's crossed

What state are you in? Just curious...


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## TattiesMum

lozzy21 said:


> Im going to have problems due to a high BMI. Apart from this im fit and healthy and do more exercise than my skinner friends who drive.
> 
> I mentioned it to my midwife at my booking appointment who said they dident get much call for them but seemed to be surportive. She just said i need to speek to my OH and if he was on board we would discuss it at a later apointment.
> 
> I had to go see the consultant for a routeen apointment because of my BMI (biggest waste of 30 mins of my life). I was told that i would only need to come back if my GTT results came back with problems. I dident like her from the start. She was patronising and spoke to me like i was some 15 year old who had got pregnant at a nightclub. She mentioned about having baby in hospital so i told her i would be having baby at home.
> 
> She told me they wouldent allow me to have a home birth.
> 
> So i told her that she wasent alowed to stop me.
> 
> She quickly backtracked saying she had picked the wrong choice of words, started waffaling on about the risks but dident say what they were. When she realised that she was not going to win she said ill need to discuss it with my midwife.
> 
> Two days later i had a letter for another apointment with the consultant before my GTT appointment.
> 
> So i can see me having to fight with the consultant to get my homebirth.

Nothing to do with the consultant :growlmad: ... I never even saw one for either of my home birth pregnancies .... consultants are hospital based and home births should be purely in the realm of GPs and community midwives - the hospital shouldn't be involved at all :hugs:

Also a high BMI is a rubbish reason for not allowing a home birth - they are just casting around for sill reasons to put you off Hon :hugs:

I'd advise writing directly to the head of Midwifery services in your area, stating clearly that you are intending to deliver your baby at home, as is your statutory right and, to that end, would she please arrange for midwifery cover for both your ante natal care and the birth.

They do try to baffle and bamboozle you into submission - stand firm :flower:


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## angelae36

TattiesMum said:


> Nothing to do with the consultant :growlmad: ... I never even saw one for either of my home birth pregnancies .... consultants are hospital based and home births should be purely in the realm of GPs and community midwives - the hospital shouldn't be involved at all :hugs:


You can still have consultant led care and a home birth - just another person to argue with!!!
I wish I had refused consultant care now but hindsight is a wonderful thing.



summer rain said:


> Good on you Angela, so you can refuse the GTT? I've been told I 'have' to have it despite not even meeting any of the risk factors for GD nor have I ever had it in the past.

Yes you can refuse the same as you can refuse any other test.
No-one can force a test against your will.
I always said that while ever my urine was clear and I had no other symptoms of diabetes, I wouldn't have it.



Blah11 said:


> can BP shoot up cos of nerves and anxiety? I ask this cos my BP was sky high when I wasgetting my wisdom teeth out (i needed to be sedated so they checked my bp beforehand).

Yes - definately.
I believe my BP was up and down due to anxiety/stress/white coat syndrome but not one medical person believed me.
They were adamant it was Pregnancy Induced Hypertension or Pre-Eclampsia.

In fact they they kept trying to tell me I would definately get Pre-Eclampsia. So much so everytime they checked on me I told them no to swelling, headaches and visual disturbances before they asked!

I was supposed to stay on labetalol after the birth and see my GP but guess what.....(although I don't recommend that course of action for other people, my choice!)



summer rain said:


> Blah, I'm pretty sure my mum had high bp when pregnant with my sister whom she had the homebirth with and this was in the 80s when even at 35 she was considered too old for a homebirth lol. She said one mw refused to turn up but the other local one was fine and she handled things.

I should add to this I was 37 so "old" too. Goodness looking back I did make my pregnancy difficult just by sticking to my guns!!!


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## lozzy21

Im classed as having shared care which i think most people with a high bmi have


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## angelae36

Yes they are.
IMO it's just so they can tick that box. Unless there are real problems I really don't see why people with high BMI HAVE to be consultant led or shared.
Waste of everyones time and money!!

Also in sunny Doncaster we have a midwife that specialises in "larger women" and I was forever being "strongly" asked to see her. She could give advice on what I should be eating - which I knew - advice on exercise - which I knew.
Also, they ran aqua aerobics especially for us "larger women" so we didn't feel so self conscious and I should go to that. Not my cup of tea!!
I'm sure she could be of use to others but not me!!!


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## lozzy21

I got offerd a dietician, Im fat because i dont exercise not because i have take away for tea every night


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## lushious09

I dont have the option of a home birth due to GBS i will have to have an IV of antibiotics during labour if it is present at 37 weeks... so if its not bad enough i cant have a free choice on my birthing method il also be hooked up to a blooming IV machine during it... Im not overly bothered though as long as bubz is ok


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## goddess25

lozzy21 said:


> summer rain said:
> 
> 
> Good on you Angela, so you can refuse the GTT? I've been told I 'have' to have it despite not even meeting any of the risk factors for GD nor have I ever had it in the past.
> 
> Blah, I'm pretty sure my mum had high bp when pregnant with my sister whom she had the homebirth with and this was in the 80s when even at 35 she was considered too old for a homebirth lol. She said one mw refused to turn up but the other local one was fine and she handled things.
> 
> You can refuse anything you dont want.Click to expand...


You dont have to have the risk factors for GD for it to occur, over here everyone is tested for it regardless of risk factors or not. If it happens and you dont know you can have potential effects that will be long lasting for you. I used to work with diabetic patients and i have seen it first hand. I think its smart to get tested, after all its one blood test and we want to do everything to protect ourselves for our childs futures.


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## angelae36

goddess25 said:


> You dont have to have the risk factors for GD for it to occur, over here everyone is tested for it regardless of risk factors or not. If it happens and you dont know you can have potential effects that will be long lasting for you. I used to work with diabetic patients and i have seen it first hand. I think its smart to get tested, after all its one blood test and we want to do everything to protect ourselves for our childs futures.

In the UK you have to have a extremely sugary drink and hang around for hours, it's only if that comes back positive that I expect blood is taken.

You are quite right in pointing out the damage it can do but what I was trying to say is if you don't want a test then no-one can make you have it.

18 and 13 years ago when I had my first 2 children, no GTT was offered unless something showed up in urine.
I decided if it was good enough then it's still good enough for me now.
There is no history of diabetes in my family, I knew the warning signs, I didn't see the point in wasting everyones time and the NHS' money on something I didn't feel necessary. Just my own choice!

But I totally understand if another lady want to be tested. Good luck to her!


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## summer rain

Hi

over here they only give you the GTT if you meet certain risk factors, have had it in a previous pregnancy, had a baby over 10lb, none of which apply to me, yet I've not heard of women or their babies having problems due to undiagnosed diabetes. GD and diabetes in general is considerably rarer than in Canada the rate is only 2% amongst White women in the UK. I've never had any sugar in my urine or remotely high readings on random blood sugar tests either. I've never been asked to have the GTT before but my booking midwife pencilled me in for all different kinds of risk factors I don't come anywhere near. I'm dreading seeing the people she refers me to as I have experience of this with my eldest being classed as high risk for something and then I got shouted at by the consultant for wasting his time.


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## lozzy21

Midwife appointment on tuesday. We shall have to see what she says


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## MadamRose

Hi i have only just seen this thread, and i think it may be useful to me. My pregnancy has been basically risk free. Got extra monitoring at start due to MMC at 11 weeks (baby died at 7 in last pregnancy). Well i always wanted a homebirth and after a lot of talking i got my OH to agree. We mentioned this to MW and she said due to spotting at 24 weeks she wouldn't advice it. The bleed was due to me needing anti-d, when i was given this midwives at hospital were not at all worried. I have also had another MW tell me she wouldnt have a problem with me having a homebirth if i had no more problems. 
The one who is agaisnt it is my main midwife. What happens if when i mention this she is still against it?
My BP has always been really good, baby's HB always really good. Measuring perfect for my weeks etc.


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## lozzy21

Due#1-2010 said:


> Hi i have only just seen this thread, and i think it may be useful to me. My pregnancy has been basically risk free. Got extra monitoring at start due to MMC at 11 weeks (baby died at 7 in last pregnancy). Well i always wanted a homebirth and after a lot of talking i got my OH to agree. We mentioned this to MW and she said due to spotting at 24 weeks she wouldn't advice it. The bleed was due to me needing anti-d, when i was given this midwives at hospital were not at all worried. I have also had another MW tell me she wouldnt have a problem with me having a homebirth if i had no more problems.
> The one who is agaisnt it is my main midwife. What happens if when i mention this she is still against it?
> My BP has always been really good, baby's HB always really good. Measuring perfect for my weeks etc.

You tell her thanks for her concern but you have looked at all the risks and still want a homebirth and expect to be supported in your choice. If she still kicks up a fuss ask for the contact details for her boss and write to her telling her of your decision, how you expect to be surported in it and look forward to hearing from her.


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## MadamRose

thanks hun i will do this at my 28 week appointment. The aprehension of it makes the 28 week appointment seem so far away


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## lozzy21

Looks like my midwife is on bord with my homebirth


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## trumpetbum

That's fab news Lozzy :)


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## summer rain

> summer rain said:
> 
> 
> Blah, I'm pretty sure my mum had high bp when pregnant with my sister whom she had the homebirth with and this was in the 80s when even at 35 she was considered too old for a homebirth lol. She said one mw refused to turn up but the other local one was fine and she handled things.
> 
> I should add to this I was 37 so "old" too. Goodness looking back I did make my pregnancy difficult just by sticking to my guns!!!Click to expand...

Sorry not good at this quotes lark; I don't think 37 is generally considered old these days for a homebirth is it? Its just this was back in the mid-80s, many medical professionals considered my mum too old to be a mum generally and when she got pregnant again at 38 they acted like she may as well be 50! She wanted a homebirth with my youngest sister as well but they kicked up such a stink she decided against it. 

Soph x


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## amym

Hiya - am anticipating a fight too! I have a bmi of 46 and want a water birth...I've decided that (assuming no GD or pre-ecl.) that if they say I can't have a water birth in hospital I will tell them I am having a home birth instead then. Effectively their choice - hospital water birth or home birth - which is more convenient for them??

And I intend to hire a pool as I know there is only 1 at the hospital and I won't risk them saying someone else is using it etc.....


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## lozzy21

Im the same Amy. They try to make things harder for you just because you have a high bmi with out seeing how you can manage


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## sleepinbeauty

Good thread *lozzy*! 

Although I have a (painfully) long wait until we TTC#1 I'm already planning HB. I'm definitely keep all of this in mind.


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## MadamRose

Im really upset and almost in tears had my 28 week MW appoitment and she is doing everything to stop me having my homebirth. Saying that with my bleed the placenta might have slightly come away, it was the slightest of bleed when i wiped, and docs even said it was just becuase i needed anti-d. She said its my 1st baby and she really would like it (she apparently supports ladies who want HB's) also becuase of my area being equal distance from 3 hospitals we get to choice apparently im under the wrong one to get a HB well why wasnt this mentioned at the 1st appointment HB's can only be given under one hospital surely this should have been mentioned. 
OH was at work so couldn't be there to support me, and is busy at work so i can't talk to him. Im that upset i actually feel like someone has taken part of my heart away from me :cry: sorry its a bit of a rant


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## lozzy21

Due#1-2010 said:


> Im really upset and almost in tears had my 28 week MW appoitment and she is doing everything to stop me having my homebirth. Saying that with my bleed the placenta might have slightly come away, it was the slightest of bleed when i wiped, and docs even said it was just becuase i needed anti-d. She said its my 1st baby and she really would like it (she apparently supports ladies who want HB's) also becuase of my area being equal distance from 3 hospitals we get to choice apparently im under the wrong one to get a HB well why wasnt this mentioned at the 1st appointment HB's can only be given under one hospital surely this should have been mentioned.
> OH was at work so couldn't be there to support me, and is busy at work so i can't talk to him. Im that upset i actually feel like someone has taken part of my heart away from me :cry: sorry its a bit of a rant

:hugs: What a bitch. Has she referd you for a scan to see if the bleeding was a problem with the placenta? Dont panic hun, its not uncomon for women to have a slight bleed. Had you recantly had sex?

As for you being under the wrong hospital, one thats not a good reason to refuse you a home birth. They cant refuse you a home birth, they are not alowed. If its going to be that much of a problem, change hospitals.


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## MadamRose

lozzy21 said:


> :hugs: What a bitch. Has she referd you for a scan to see if the bleeding was a problem with the placenta? Dont panic hun, its not uncomon for women to have a slight bleed. Had you recantly had sex?
> 
> As for you being under the wrong hospital, one thats not a good reason to refuse you a home birth. They cant refuse you a home birth, they are not alowed. If its going to be that much of a problem, change hospitals.

Yes she didnt even ask me if i wanted to change hospitals she just said your under the wrong one, well i dont have to go anymore anyway.
And yes we had sex the day before, and i then got diagnosed with thrush so had been very irritated downstiars its was only enough to go on the tissue twice when i wipes non on pantyliner or anything (sorry if tmi) i just dont know how to go about her sorting out the HB as doesnt she have to give my details to the people who deal with it. It something i really want.
And as for the scan, no i was never sent for a scan, docs at hospital said its becase i needed anti-d they discharged me and said they were not one bit conserned, docs didnt even mention the placenta at all.


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## lozzy21

You probably just irritated your cervix or vagina during sex, i had a bleed at 9 weeks after too much sex, got sent for a scan and everything was fine.

What you need to do is write a letter to the supervisor of widwifes at your PCT saying you are not happy with the support your have recived, that you are planning on a homebirth and would like the support your are entitled too.

There are some good templates on the net but thats the jist of what you need to say.


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## MadamRose

Thanks what do i need to type in on the net to get a template as i really want to go for my HB, if anything showed signs of being wrong or i went before 37 weeks i would obviously go to hospital, i aint exactly gonna risk my LO. I would be really intrested in seeing the templates and writing a letter, if you could say how to get the templates thanks.


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## lozzy21

If you go to the first page of the homebirth and hopefulls thread they are loads of links on there that will help.


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## trumpetbum

:hug: You can change hospitals if need be, I had to last time around and my GP made it very difficult, refusing to refer me (this was 81/2 years ago and GPs still did all this), until a senior GP made her. I not only switched hosps but switched GPs.


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## MadamRose

thanks very much 
hopefully if i do this she will listen at my 31 week appointment, i will look into how easy it is to change hospitals also. if thats what i have to do to get HB


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## JenStar1976

Should be pretty simple. You may even be able to just ring the midwife department of the hosital you want to change to? Alex was born on 12 Jan at home, but I was concerned as we were going to MIL's in Suffolk (next county from us, 1.5 hours away) for Christmas. I asked MW what to do if Alex was going to come early (we took our birthing pool and everything else just in case) and she said just to ring the local hospital to where ever I was staying, tell them you are having a home birth and they'd just send someone out (as it turns out MIL has two neighbours who are MWs and they were both very excited that they were on standby for us over xmas!!). What I'm trying to say is that I think it will be quite easy for you to change hospitals as it doesn't matter where you live. x


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## MadamRose

thanks hun, do you think i would be best to ring them myself now and see if i can change over or wait until i see her next? Just thinking if i have done it before i see her (if i can) then it shows that i aint taking her no for an answer 
After the amount of time it took to get OH to agree i cant beleive i having this trouble now x


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## JenStar1976

Can't do any harm to ring them and see what they say! Good luck and let us know what happens! xxx


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## MadamRose

Ok i will try thanks x


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## JenStar1976

https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/pregnancy/Pages/Wheretogivebirth.aspx


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## MadamRose

I rang up the hospital, she said the MW has to change me, but she said she wouldnt advice leaving it until 31 weeks. She said ring my triarge in the morning and tell them i want to change because i want a homebirth. So this is what im gonna do. She said they may still not change it until 31 weeks but they may give me an extra appointment to change it, or change it for me without me there.


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## trumpetbum

That's great hon :)


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## MadamRose

Yes hopefully, if they are still funny, i will see if i can quickly change hospitals just to be under another MW, as i really want my homebirth. unless there is complications obviously


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## MadamRose

Good news on the HB front, i rang the triarge they said it isnt an emergancy for me to transfer as i can still get a HB under the hospital im on. She asked why my MW didnt support it and didnt say any problems, she said i will speak to her when she is in next week and tell her ive told you what to do. I have to tell my MW at 31 week appointment and i she said she would advice changing hospitals as it means i get an extra scan at 38 weeks to make sure baby is in correct position, and isnt to big and that the HB wont pose many risks. but she said just change at 31 week appointment. Then they will come to my house at 34 and see me and talk to me and this is when they arrange the 38 week scan. So looks like all can go ahead nice and easily :happydance:

So i will change hospitals at 31 week appointment and all can go ahead, they just will have to tell their supervisor or MW's im having a homebirth against advice of my actual MW then if the thing she warned of goes wrng i cant go back to her. But the 38 week scan would show if this was a problem anyway


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