# So Afraid something will go wrong :-(



## Jenny Bean

Hi Everyone, I am looking for some comfort, lol.

I am 38 and expecting my first, I am only 5 weeks currently.
EVERYTHING is scarying me, expecially when my nausea and breast tenderness comes and goes.
I have been temping since I got my BPF and am afraid to keep doing it for fear of my temperature dropping and fear of MC.
I did have a MC three year exactly around this time, it was very early because I actually got my period but it lasted 14 days.

Anywho, I got pregnant this time on my honeymoon, so we are delighted and suprised it happened so early.

But now, I am terrified, every non symptom makes me feel like I am no longer pregnant, I worry if my progesterone is high enough to sustain a pregnancy, eventhough I wasn't diagnosed or tested for low progesterone.

Bottom line I am a nervous wreck and so desperately want this little bean.

Any advise would be welcomed!


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## gingmg

I remember how scared I was at the beginning. As happy as I was to be pregnant, it was terrifying because, I actually had something to loose. I can't really offer any advice. I used to tell myself "nothing is going to happen that I cannot handle- be it good or bad". It made me feel more in control of something I knew I had no control over. Try to take it one day at a time. No one can 100% promise anything, but believing that I would be OK no matter what kept me from feeling completely paralyzed with fear. I wish you the best.


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## Jenny Bean

Thanks O:)
I try to be more positive with each passing day!


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## BlingyGal

I can really relate to everything you've said! I'm 37, I'm newly married and I had a MC several years ago.

I'm 8 weeks now and had a wonderful ultrasound this past Tuesday - great heart beat, everything looks healthy and promising. But leading up to that scan, I've been on a rollercoaster between worrying and feeling positive. I'm scared to hope, if you know what I mean. My symptoms come and go, how sore my breasts are changes on a daily basis, sometimes I don't feel pregnant at all, I don't really have morning sickness/nausea etc. I've been over analyzing how my body feels. I've been making a conscious effort to remember that I can spend this pregnancy worrying every minute only to stress myself out OR I can enjoy it as much as I can (it's a fascinating experience so far); either way, it's not going to change the outcome but I'd rather be happy than miserable. I hope what I've written doesn't sound trite, I know how hard it can be. A small thing that might help is having conversations with your baby - I talk to my little bean in my head, saying encouraging things; it relaxes me.

Keep us updated.

PS - This is my first post here!


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## Jenny Bean

BlingyGal said:


> I can really relate to everything you've said! I'm 37, I'm newly married and I had a MC several years ago.
> 
> I'm 8 weeks now and had a wonderful ultrasound this past Tuesday - great heart beat, everything looks healthy and promising. But leading up to that scan, I've been on a rollercoaster between worrying and feeling positive. I'm scared to hope, if you know what I mean. My symptoms come and go, how sore my breasts are changes on a daily basis, sometimes I don't feel pregnant at all, I don't really have morning sickness/nausea etc. I've been over analyzing how my body feels. I've been making a conscious effort to remember that I can spend this pregnancy worrying every minute only to stress myself out OR I can enjoy it as much as I can (it's a fascinating experience so far); either way, it's not going to change the outcome but I'd rather be happy than miserable. I hope what I've written doesn't sound trite, I know how hard it can be. A small thing that might help is having conversations with your baby - I talk to my little bean in my head, saying encouraging things; it relaxes me.
> 
> Keep us updated.
> 
> PS - This is my first post here!

Thank you for this BlingyGal,

It looks like we are both relatively in the same situation!
I do speak to her, lol, I think its a girl in the morning and at night. I am hoping she can stick on to me 

Question did you have to get a pap because I am so afraid that will cause mc.


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## BlingyGal

My GP isn't doing a pap as I had one 4 months ago but she did say the risk is ZERO to the baby. 

I'll be getting an OB-GYN once I'm past 12 weeks, he/she may be of a different opinion and want me to do one.


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## BlingyGal

Hmm, can't figure out how to edit my last post.

Just wanted to add, I think I"m having a girl too! I tend to default to thinking of 'her' rather than 'him'. It'll be funny if I'm wrong. :laugh2:


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## gingmg

I used to talk to him a lot at the beginning too ( of coarse I still do) but I would always ask him to stay with me. I hope I didn't trivialize how you feel, I know its so scary. I had found a miscarriage static chart online and it felt sooo good to watch the chances go down every day. I know it's scary. And don't goby symptoms, I never had any from day one and have a very healthy full term baby inside of me. So it doesn't mean anything if you don't feel anything. Sending everything sticky your way.


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## Jenny Bean

gingmg said:


> I used to talk to him a lot at the beginning too ( of coarse I still do) but I would always ask him to stay with me. I hope I didn't trivialize how you feel, I know its so scary. I had found a miscarriage static chart online and it felt sooo good to watch the chances go down every day. I know it's scary. And don't goby symptoms, I never had any from day one and have a very healthy full term baby inside of me. So it doesn't mean anything if you don't feel anything. Sending everything sticky your way.

Gingmg, where did you find that chart?


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## gingmg

I don't remember the website. But if you google "daily odds of miscarriage by spacefem" you will probably find it. Granted, its an estimate so try not to place too much emphasis on what it says. It was created by a girl who did her own research, not by a medical professional. But it will make you feel better to watch the odds drop every few days. Once you hear the heartbeat, you will feel much better than you do now.


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## emilydm

Hi Jenny
You are not alone. 
This is not my first baby but this one has me the most anxious. 
I get angry at times because I think it is the wealth of information, I read way too much, google too much. 
I too lost my symptoms around... Oh 9 weeks along. So strange. 
Then had a dr appt and heard a good strong heartbeat. 

A few weeks ago I swore I felt baby move, about 4 times that day. Then after that nothing. So again I started panicking. 
I told my dr about my anxiety, I'm nervous of everything. 
Just wanted to say you're not alone and (hug)


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## Jenny Bean

emilydm said:


> Hi Jenny
> You are not alone.
> This is not my first baby but this one has me the most anxious.
> I get angry at times because I think it is the wealth of information, I read way too much, google too much.
> I too lost my symptoms around... Oh 9 weeks along. So strange.
> Then had a dr appt and heard a good strong heartbeat.
> 
> A few weeks ago I swore I felt baby move, about 4 times that day. Then after that nothing. So again I started panicking.
> I told my dr about my anxiety, I'm nervous of everything.
> Just wanted to say you're not alone and (hug)

Thank u very much I appreciate your response!

I just got back with my new gp and they said not to come back for a month because the walk in clinic did all the blood work!!!

Ugg I thought they would send me for a early scan at least to hear the heartbeat! Now I will have a month of hell to wait ugg!!

I have barely any symptoms! I am so nervous! This is my first pregnancy!
To boot I took a stupid cb test on Saturday when I was 5+ 2 and in theory the test should say 3+ but only said 2-3 I am so sad!

I have no cramping or spotting but still so scared!

Sorry for the rant but thanks for anyone who takes a minute to read


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## gingmg

Its probably better that they didn't have you do an early scan as it might be too early for a heartbeat. My clinic (I did IVF) won't book the first scan until 8 weeks. It was torture waiting! Also, I've seen many people on here not have luck with those kinds of pregnancy tests and would say things similar to what you did. Don't loose hope! I used to say every day without blood was a good day. I didn't have symptoms either, so that in and of itself doesn't mean anything. I remember wanting to be nauseous sooooo bad just for reassurance, but nothing. I know how scary these weeks are. I hope they pass quickly for you.


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## pansorie

Jenny, I am right where you are at (I posted about it in the first trimester forums) and can completely relate. My OB will also not see anyone before 8 weeks. I am at 6w3d and waiting for my first appointment. Of course, in the meantime I find myself reading every pregnancy horror story imaginable. Is it possible you can contact them and ask if you can have some labwork done? I was freaking out, hysterical, crying, and my nurse ordered progesterone and HcG levels to calm my nerves. Of course that worked for about an hour before I went back into freak out mode. :blush:

Someone mentioned that one website that told your daily miscarriage chances. My husband is in a STEM field, and he does not take data analysis and statistics lightly. He found that website for me one night when I working myself up and really liked it, and think her analysis may be fairly accurate. 

Good luck, you are not alone!


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## Jenny Bean

pansorie said:


> Jenny, I am right where you are at (I posted about it in the first trimester forums) and can completely relate. My OB will also not see anyone before 8 weeks. I am at 6w3d and waiting for my first appointment. Of course, in the meantime I find myself reading every pregnancy horror story imaginable. Is it possible you can contact them and ask if you can have some labwork done? I was freaking out, hysterical, crying, and my nurse ordered progesterone and HcG levels to calm my nerves. Of course that worked for about an hour before I went back into freak out mode. :blush:
> 
> Someone mentioned that one website that told your daily miscarriage chances. My husband is in a STEM field, and he does not take data analysis and statistics lightly. He found that website for me one night when I working myself up and really liked it, and think her analysis may be fairly accurate.
> 
> Good luck, you are not alone!

Oh maybe I will look for that web site also to give me some reassurance 

Thank you!


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