# Breaking Up While Pregnant



## peanutsmommy

I Am 31 wks And I Have Broken Up With My OH I Dont Quite Know How To Deal With This But I Would Like To Know How You All Made It Through Such A Hard Time


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## edinsam

Aw Hun so sorry to hear that. I'm 5 weeks into breakup and it is easier but I am no ways over it. I still love him very much. What gets you through is that you need to for that little bambino in you, they need you. Also a sense of respect and dignity get you through it so hold your head up high. Cry when you need to. Try and keep busy. I don't know the INS and outs of your breakup so don't know of any contact etc u have with him at the mo but the best thing is to break all contact - it's so hard, I'm really struggling with that part but trying

Hang on in there. The days will become weeks then months and then you will have your baby. Come on here any time and pm me anytime too

Big hugs

Sam
Xx


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## precious-gift

hey i know what you going through my husband left 5 weeks ago, it hurts, and you go through every emotion, its the thought of my baby that keeps me going. iv not taken it well, i constantly texted him and now feel that i made a fool of myself and pushed him further way, i wish id taken everyone's advice and kept my self respect and my head held high, but it is hard, it will get easier though!

don't know the circumstances surrounding your break up, could he be scared of becoming a father? 

you will get support here, there are others going through the same thing and we will help each other through

take care xxx


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## babystar

:hugs:


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## bjshooter

I know how hard this is too, i am not the greatest person when it comes to dealing with breakups. I have made it worse by, continuing to speak to him and letting him come round, doing the whole on off thing, i end up feeling the bad feelings of just breakingup every week. I would really try to be the bigger person and cut all contact, only speak to him when it is absolutely needed for the little one. Good luck


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## xXDonnaXx

I split up with my babies dad when I was 7months pregnant. But it had been meaning to happen for a while. So when the time finally came I had no feelings for him anymore, so it was quite easy for me. 

I think you just need to focus on you and your baby. And don't let it get you down. It will be hard but be strong for the sake of you both. You can do it. :) He's the one that's losing out on something special. Sod him.


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## shaunanicole

I ended thinks with FOB after a few weeks of knowing I was pregnant. Sure you have your doubts and you feel completely alone but you have to realize that you don't need a man in your life to love your child and be happy. Try and focus on the little one inside your tum and stay positive. It's a hard and cold road to split up with someone you are having a child with but sometimes it's for the best hunny. :hugs: :D


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## Welshcob

:hug: So sorry to hear all these others of us that are in the same boat. I don't know if my FOB is broken up with me, but I think so. He just stopped communicating. I am finding it very hard not to contact him and wondering what the right thing is to do. He stopped speaking to me one month ago and I made one attempt at seeing him about three weeks ago now. I am finding it very hard indeed and not knowing what to do still. But reading the other replies you have had it seems to be strong and stay away from them. I hope to hear things are on the up for you soon. In the mean time sending lots of hugs


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## DizzyMoo

I'm about to be going through this & sort of already am. My OH who is my world has just changed like overnight & is no longer the same with me, no phone calls at all , 1 sometimes 2 texts a day . Although nothing since wednesday now, Since being preg he's only been here 6days where as before he was here for 11 days at a time then home for 3 then back at mine for 11 etc etc, This was a planned preg & he couldn't wait to be a daddy but i feel so stupid for having gotten pregnant now when he clearly isn't interested. He was meant to be back here yesterday & as i expected...nothing. 
Breaking my heart as i knew he was the one for me & i still think he is, He means the world to me & the thought of having his baby without him just upsets me more. I have a 3yr old boy who constantly asks where he is & when he's coming home which hurts again. Nothing i can do but admit we have/are ending (sobs uncontrollably)


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## missjacey44

I broke up with my partner when i was 8months pregnant. But it was my unborn baby and thinking about him that got me through it, everything i did was for my baby


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## MissEfendi

I broke up with my partner when I was around 8 weeks pregnant or maybe less.
I was engaged but when I became pregnant I realised my partner and I were just not meant to be, and I was so unhappy with his controlling ways and I did not think it was fair on the baby or maybe to be in a relationship like that.
It is hard because the ex is being a right royal pain but the thought of my son is what gets me through my days. I love my son so much already, and I feel I can tackle anything.


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## nellywelly123

I am thinking about breaking up with my partner am 25 weeks pregnant and feel so alone i feel as if he is not there for me at all, just thinks he can chuck me a bit of money at me and its all okay, the man shows me no love is always cold with me and expects me to be super woman, well im not im sooo down and think the only option is to leave him, reading all your comments is making me beleive i can do this xxxxx


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## bloodbinds

*hugs to all single-mums and single-mums-to-be!*

It's going to be hard. It's going to be incredibly difficult and seem impossible, but if anyone can do it, we can. For all the single mums out there, and for all the babies currently sleeping in our beds or our wombs - we can do it.

x


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## KaeRit21

hey hun, ive just recently broken off my engagement.(his doing not mine...)..its hard, and theres day i just want to cry but really the only id advise is break contact if you can...my heads a mess because of fob's mind games and i wish i had just stopped all communication


its hard but you have to believe youve got the strength to get through it, and you will hun...you can do it for you, and you can do it for bubs

xxxxx


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## woadie

DizzyMoo said:


> I'm about to be going through this & sort of already am. My OH who is my world has just changed like overnight & is no longer the same with me, no phone calls at all , 1 sometimes 2 texts a day . Although nothing since wednesday now, Since being preg he's only been here 6days where as before he was here for 11 days at a time then home for 3 then back at mine for 11 etc etc, This was a planned preg & he couldn't wait to be a daddy but i feel so stupid for having gotten pregnant now when he clearly isn't interested. He was meant to be back here yesterday & as i expected...nothing.
> Breaking my heart as i knew he was the one for me & i still think he is, He means the world to me & the thought of having his baby without him just upsets me more. I have a 3yr old boy who constantly asks where he is & when he's coming home which hurts again. Nothing i can do but admit we have/are ending (sobs uncontrollably)

Sending you a MASSIVE big hug.... feeling your hurt.... and wishing I could wipe it away for you...

And the same to all who is in this boat.... every day I hurt, tonight I am just so angry...angry for all of us being treated wrongly..... hugs to you all

(((hugs)))


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## Perdita

Men get away with so much crap because they don't carry the baby and they think nothing of walking away. FOB told me that as I didn't have a termination as he recommended (recommended being his choice of word) I had taken him out of the equation (his phrase again). He gave me his new e-mail address and said he wanted to keep an open line of communication but hasn't used it to reply to me for 15 weeks. My attitude has hardened so much towards him from giving him a chance to get used to the idea, it's been a real shock, etc etc to sod him, his choice and if he changes his mind everything will be on my terms, as things stand he's getting nothing and if he even wants to know when she's born he'd better start communicating coz I'm done with it.
It hurts like hell and I still cry about it and without any family around to help and all my friends either far away or workers with no kids I do feel very alone but have to just get on with it, no choice, just one day at a time - sounds corny I know but it's how it is!
Be strong ladies - the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world and we're def going to be rocking the cradle!!
xx


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## KaeRit21

Perdita said:


> Be strong ladies - the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world and we're def going to be rocking the cradle!!
> xx


I think i might add that too my signature perdita!!! all copy right is yours tho :d

xxx


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## SweetNothings

nellywelly123 said:


> I am thinking about breaking up with my partner am 25 weeks pregnant and feel so alone i feel as if he is not there for me at all, just thinks he can chuck me a bit of money at me and its all okay, the man shows me no love is always cold with me and expects me to be super woman, well im not im sooo down and think the only option is to leave him, reading all your comments is making me beleive i can do this xxxxx

I hate OH's that chuck money at you thinking that that makes up for everything and anything...that IS cold hearted. It really is hard to leave, probably the hardest thing in the world but once you do it its like you have so much freedom and it makes you a stronger person for sure. Now I just have to tell that to myself in preparation for my own break up.


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## ofatu

Im so sorry for what you are going through.

I broke up with my DH about 7 weeks ago now and am 35 weeks pregnant. The first few weeks were the hardest. Some days are easier, the hurt doesn't seem to cut as much and then other days I just want to break down and sob my heart out. But now I am just getting angry. Angry that he can walk away and not one phone call or text in over a week now. 

Get some music, I like emotions, destiny child and other sobby stuff and cry your eyes out. Let it all out and accept that its going to hurt for a while.. But one day you will look back and be so proud that you are a strong mum and did it all by yourself. :)


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## teal

My ex and I broke up the same day my pregnancy was confirmed by my doctor. I was 4 weeks pregnant. My ex was really pushing for a termination but I refused. Even though my baby wasn't planned he or she has been very much loved and wanted from the start. 

I've pretty much accepted now that I'm going to be a single mum. I know it's going to be hard but it will be worth it xx


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## -violette-

i can't believe it. he doesn't wanna try to make it work. He wants to be involved, help out with the house, but wants me to accept that instead of moving in, i should accept him as a friend, 3 weeks before birth, without saying a word. I can't do that. it's beyond me. i think you girls are right. staying strong, keeping communication very minimal, not seeing him, is probably the best option. There's almost no time left before birth, and i don't know what to do if he wants to be there for the baby at the hospital, but it breaks my heart to see him. i don't need more stress or anxiety when that moment comes and being sad and stressed will not help the baby at all.. at the same time, he is the (flaky) father..
i don't wanna be harsh, but its just too much. what to do ? 
the father-to-be freaking out is soooo cliché !


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## karrianne123

hi not sure what to write i just know i need some advice im 3 and a half months pregnant and my boyfriend left me this week, he seems to not want anything to do with me and its actually destroying me i need some techniques that will help me cope with this and handle the whole situation better i wish there was an on-off switch for your emotions at this point!!! thanks :)


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## KaeRit21

karrianne123 said:


> hi not sure what to write i just know i need some advice im 3 and a half months pregnant and my boyfriend left me this week, he seems to not want anything to do with me and its actually destroying me i need some techniques that will help me cope with this and handle the whole situation better i wish there was an on-off switch for your emotions at this point!!! thanks :)

hey huni, im really sorry your going through this, sending massive :hugs: to you and ur bubba bump..it's hard and i cant lie and pretend its easy but you CAN do this. and you will. firstly its up to you whether u want to have any contact with him but personally i think it makes you worse, i'd keep it to a minimum....try not to fall in to the on of rountine with him

try giving him the option of having an open communication line...email address mibi? its possible hes having a father to be freak out and just done it in the worst way possible? again :hugs:

you have to believe in your self and your strength to get through this...stay strong for you and for bubs....that wee bundle will be your everything! 
accept that it may hurt for a while but one day you going to look back on this and ur going to be stronger for it. 

ive been through this huni, so if u need to talk or rant or cry...Feel free to PM me. 

sending massive hugs to you sweetie...im sorry your going through this xxxx


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## frankyzw

Your LO will need all of you so focus on LO for now. Avoid any contact and each time you miss him, just think of his worst habits etc. Hope that'd make you hang up that phone. Time heals and take each day as it comes. Stay strong, you'll make it through this situation


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## Lucky.M

Hi I am sorry, it will be hard, as everyone else has said concentrate on your baby and yourself. I split up with my first boyfriend when I told him I was pregnant, I was 16. It was extremely hard, but now looking back I had a lucky escape! It is lonely though, use all the support you can, rope in friends and family and make the most of people on here. Good luck xx


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## angelmae

-violette- said:


> i can't believe it. he doesn't wanna try to make it work. He wants to be involved, help out with the house, but wants me to accept that instead of moving in, i should accept him as a friend, 3 weeks before birth, without saying a word. I can't do that. it's beyond me. i think you girls are right. staying strong, keeping communication very minimal, not seeing him, is probably the best option. There's almost no time left before birth, and i don't know what to do if he wants to be there for the baby at the hospital, but it breaks my heart to see him. i don't need more stress or anxiety when that moment comes and being sad and stressed will not help the baby at all.. at the same time, he is the (flaky) father..
> i don't wanna be harsh, but its just too much. what to do ?
> the father-to-be freaking out is soooo cliché !


Hi, i know exactly what you went through as i am going through exactly the same now - only 3 weeks to go and my head is all over the place. how did it all work out for you? im in contact with him, he wants to be there for the birth and for the baby but says he doesnt love me anymore, i am struggling with this and just want to hide away and turn my phone off. i feel like i cant do this on my own but also i cant do this with him only as friends x any advise would be appreciated x x


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## DianeBrandt

Yeah, at first it can be a little tough. Try to stay strong for the baby.


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## lal

FOB and I have always been on/off (for 8 years) - I've always loved him, he's always treated me badly/begged forgiveness/etc. So when I found out I was pregnant (unplanned), we were actually already "off" again. Since then (5 months), he's been out drinking, sleeping with other girls (at least one that I know of who sent me a msg on facebook wanting to know details of the baby and my relationship with him), talking to other people about not wanting to be with me (actually trying to get sympathy out of the situation), etc. It definitely goes up and down, and is really really hard, and makes me not want to get out of bed sometimes...but I know that this is the hard part, that when I have this baby everything will be worth it...also, for FOB right now, he knows he can do whatever he wants and that I will be stuck alone hearing about it, because it seems weird to me to date right now, so he feels safe that way. He will magically change his mind, I'm sure, when I have this baby and he has to be the one thinking about me with someone else (much less another father figure to his child), so someday this will all come back to him. I have to count on that, and count on being happy myself, and remember all the times he's broken my heart even before I was pregnant. This has all been such a wake-up call to what I was putting up with, for such a long time, and a perfect chance to move on with my life and see him for what he is. He's not worth my energy, I'm in the market for a whole new type of guy, one that loves me and will love this child and will be absolutely trustworthy and a good role model for my baby, and I'll find him. In the meantime, I'm going to have a beautiful little boy that will be the center of the universe to me, and FOB will get to "visit" with that precious little boy once a week or so, and he at the same time has lost my love/friendship/care...I know that by the time it happens I won't even care anymore, but right now I focus on the moment he regrets that :)


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## lal

And I absolutely agree with the others - contact only when NECESSARY for baby (not to be nice or try to talk to him!!!) if at all, find things to do (my wonderful friends have supplied me with boxed sets of tv shows and anything they can think of to keep me busy), and just focus on how great it will be after you have the baby - FOB's can do what they want with who they want, and you unfortunately are "stuck" with them in your life, but karma is very real - you get the good (your baby) and they will get the bad (regret). Also, when it comes to other girls, know that they will always be jealous of you and your "relationship" with FOB, even if it sucks - don't engage them, ignore, ignore, ignore. It will drive them crazy, your reaction is all they want. Hang in there, it will get better, so so much better!


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## faithamayah

My FOB, and I have been together on and off for two years, with constant pain/cheating/and the list goes on. I am really struggling with this as this has just happened a week ago and is still very fresh. He sold me a dream of us being together when all the while he was with his previous childs mother....That burned....He gave me the excuse that he lves his son and not her, but from what I see you love both. She reached out to me and we spoke and she is so deep into the manipulation that there is no saving her and I know it. I loved him and at one point did see us working through the previous issues, but now it is about me and my babygirl Faith Amayah. If there is any advice or helpful ways to get passed this please share.:cry:


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## DiamondSky

I broke up with my FOB when I was 11 wks, and it broke my heart. I could tell that we were both stressed out, and I thought he was getting tired of me being a part of his life, so I left. The entire time I was prego, he never came back. At first I was sad, but of course I quickly transitioned into pissed, and stayed between that and depressed for the rest of my pregnancy.
You just have to remember that the life you have inside you is more important than anything else in this world, and as soon as that baby is born, you're going to start feeling a whole lot better. I remember the days when I thought it would never end, but believe me: once the pain and the sadness goes away, the beauty of life is even more precious to behold.


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## Ashlynn33

I dont know how to get over my ex and we just broke up 2 weeks ago and im 5months prego now. This is pribably the hardest thing i have went thru in my life. Im trying to stay strong for my babygirl but its hard!:cry:


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## DadAgain

Hello ladies. I'm on the other side of the spectrum. I don't know if the mother of my baby girl has left me or not. She has not truly spoken to me in 3 1/2 months. We have communicated over text, but very briefly. I have tried to be there for her, but she keeps pushing me away. She is 36 weeks pregnant.
I am so excited about our baby being born. I am still hopeful she comes around when the baby comes. We did not have any issues, other than some on her side about the time she got pregnant. She had some job issues, she had to stop smoking and drinking, which was a hard withdrawal for her; her sister was stricken with cancer. We were engaged to be married. Now, I'm just hoping I get to be in the delivery room to see my child born. She doesn't tell me anything about the baby directly. She passes all her information through her father, whom I talk to about once a week. He's not sure why she's behaving this way either. She is not seeing anybody, he assures me. And I am not seeing anybody either. She will not answer my calls. She barely answers texts.
Her father and I set up the nursery in her home this past weekend while she attended her baby shower (which was given by my sisters and mother at my parents house). I bought all the furniture she wanted and couldn't afford alone. She texted me a thank you and told me that it looked amazing. I tried to lure her into a conversation to figure out where I stand, but she just stopped communicating. So I guess she broke up with me. She hasn't said she has, and looking in her house, there are still pictures of us everywhere there. Can anybody please shed some light on my dilemma from a pregnant woman's perspective? I want nothing more than to be a father everyday to our daughter and to be her husband... Which is what we had planned before she got pregnant, and for the first two months of pregnancy.


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## littlekitten8

dadagain - I'm not pregnant right now but I can still very much remember what a confusing and emotional time it was. You have hormones raging through your body and swing from being ecstatic to feeling completely overwhelmed. It is possible (due to the withdrawl from everyone) that she is suffering from antenatal depression. It is wonderful that you are being so supportive. Don't give up hope. She may come round.


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## grobert3

Hello there, I am finding myself in a very similar situation, I found a wonderful woman and we got to know each other very good before we started dating, we decided to be exclusive some 3-4 months ago. We both talked about wanting children and we decided to go for it. When we found out that she was pregnant we were both really excited, I have to admit I was a little scared but the fact is that I have wanted children since I was a child. We use to talk everyday and see each other every weekend. a few weeks ago (she is about 10 weeks along right now) she started saying that she was feeling really overwhelmed with everything and that she needed space. I tried to tell her that I really wanted to be with her and that I will give her the space she needs and wait for her to deal with whatever. since then she doesnt talk to me at all, I have told her how excited I am about the baby and that she is going to be a great mother and I could be happier to be having a child with HER! the past couple of weeks she will not reply any e-mails/ txts (I dont even try to call) I told her a couple days ago that, again, that I want to be there for her and support her through everything, she basically told me that she wants to be alone and deal with everyhting by herself and that she doesnt want to be responsible for someone elses happiness and that she doesnt want to be in a relationship with all the doubt that she has. Before the pregnancy the only doubt that she ever talked about was about me leaving (when I reassured her plenty of times how much I care and respect her as a person and such). I ended up replying to her that I understood (which I dont really but I didnt want to push anything) and that I would be here when she does figure everything out. I also said that I hoped she was getting support from somewhere. I have no idea what is going on and it is really hard for me. I want a baby very bad but I didnt want to lose my girlfreind to get it. Is it really the hormones? It just seems that out of no where that she has all this doubt about us and I dont get it because she always told me that she split with her ex-husband because she knew she didnt want to have kids with him. Right now I am expecting and trying to prepare my mind for the worse and hopeing for the best. Is there any advice out there that anyone could offer? thank you.


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## Jmum85

Thats really sad. My ex left me whem I was three months pregnant. I think like everyone else has said you just need to stay strong for your baby and focus on what they need.


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## ACMommy

I guess this is as good a place as any any to talk about what going on with me. I am new to this site. The fob broke up with me in Novpretty much out of no where. He came back around for a few days a few weeks later and then freaked out and said he did not want to be with me at all. Since then he has told me he cares about me but not like that and he doesnt want a relationship with me but does with the baby. I am away from my family and friends and his family has been really supportive of me. They have helped a greatt deal since the breakup and its so hard to be around them and to see him and have it be like he is a complete stranger and I am so in love with him and carrying his baby. My heart is so beyond broken. I feel not whole and empty. I know that I am having this baby and its the most amazing thing in this world, but I wish it was not like this. I dont know whats wrong with me that I am not good enough to be with. He wants to completely be there for the baby and have an active role in his life ....just not mine. I dont know how to move on. :( I'm sorry to ramble I am just so lost and sad and lonely


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## bumps

new here, not sure where to post, sorry.
im a single mum of 3 kids and im currently 29 weeks pregnant. I feel so lost?????? useless, lonely, etc etc.
Im so scared of doing this alone, and im no spring chicken being in my 30's
im trying to be strong for my children especially for the little one growing inside me, but its a constant struggle and missing my ex partner so much.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom or advice ?????


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## Udubbergrl

Just broke up with my much younger (26)FOB, I think the most painful thing for me is that he and I were together only becuase I gave him a second chance after I found out he was seperated and not divorced from his wife (who btw is also pregnant) He kept waffling back and forth and I felt in my heart that his primarcy concern was the fact that his ex is from another country., He is afraid that if he divorces her she will take their son and unborn baby out of the country. Whatever his issue I just decided that for me and my peace o mind it was best to take myself out of that situation. I already have three children and while I do have a University education, I cry often wondering if I can handle another child as a single mother. The fact that I love him dearly and that we did have for the most part a very good connection, I know I cant do the back and forth thing. There is not a lot of animosity, however at the moment we are not talking , I think we both need space. Oh and for those who wonder, I did not know he was still legally married until after I was pregnant. LOL the one funny thing, I am over 35 and on birth control so for anyone who says fertility goes down after 35...not in my case!


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## gemzz654

me and my bf split up this week and im lost, he wants to be there for the birth but i want us to be together as a family, he hasnt exactly been there for me and my head is so confused, need advice


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## Marty_Anj

Hi! Im 32 weeks preggo on my first baby and my bf told me that he needs"space" so he can figure things out in his life... he said that he is being unfair to me thats why he is letting me go... he told me there is no one else but he just needs timeto think about his life... I AM SO DEVASTATED. i thought he is ready, (he's 13yrs older than i am and already has kids) but then he just walked away.. he said he wants to be with me during my delivery but i cant stand him,i miss him but hearing anything from him kills me... what should i do??


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## Fluturash2222

I'm 22 years old and 32 weeks pregnant with my first child, ang going through a breakup.... It started few weeks ago when I started accuseing my bf that he don't give us( me and the baby) any atension, because he started to spend more and more time with his class mates, drinking, partying more then he ever used too, until one day I found some very interesting SMS from this "clasmate" of his... After days of fighting he kind of convinced me that is his group made... To find out now that they are actually together.... I dont really know what to do, I love him... But my hard is broken...never thought he could lay to me like this after 3 years of being in a relation...


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## cluelessnow

I'm 34 weeks pregnant. FOB left us a week after we found out I was pregnant, first 3 months he wanted me to terminate, second trimester he wanted to be involved but didn't want me, and now 7 months on I find out his idea of contact with baby will be very limited eg once or twice a year as he lives in another country. The first time I was rejected I stopped contact but a few days ago, got in touch again and got rejected again and now it feels like I'm back at square one. Now no contact again until the birth. It's so hard to move on when LO is growing inside. It's so easy for men to just forget and move on. Here's hoping it'll get easier. Hugs to everyone and thanks for sharing. :hugs: It's good to know that I'm not alone.


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## babyenza

i dated my ex for 7 years and i am currently 5 months pregnant for him. he cheated on me some many times, meeting people, on dating sites, cheated in all aspect. he lied, emotionally drained me, and then he broke up with me. he said he doesn't want to be with me ever again, his already talking to someone. unfortunately i am still in love with him because he was my first love. he drove me out of his place so many times (use to live together). he made me move all the way from Maryland to Virginia. i left all my family and friends and moved 2 hours away. i gave up everything i have for me. now i am in soo much hurt and pain. i don't know people here, im stressed out, depressed and alone. i want to move out of State so bad, but i am not financially strong to do that. its being 4 months and we live 5 mins from each other and i cant stop crying. what should i do? i have so much anger and hatred for him. please i need advice


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## FutureRewind

Guilty as charged. I broke up with my ex while she was pregnant. I do not regret doing it as I felt I had no option at the time. Our relationship dynamic just wasnt healthy for her, baby or me. She had expectations that I could never achieve and our age difference proved too much to overcome our issues despite the fact I tried to work at them and offered constant communication, compromise, relationship counselling. I never abandoned her, I loved her, I came to all appointments, started paying money at 4 months gone, took her out when she wasnt criticising me or verbally attacking me (a major factor in why I split up), was at the birth, I hung on as I wanted to try again when baby was born but she just expected baby to make everything alright. It the first thing she said to me when she found out she was pregnant. We werent even back together after a split at that point. Maybe I gave her false hope by sticking around. Should I just have walked away... no way. She's done the vindictive mother thing and we're now in court. What can I do when I ask someone to work out our issues so they dont come up again and they refuse....''its just too negative to talk about the past'' Really!? I dunno. sometimes the FOBs do all they can. It hurts. Yeah.. you've hurt me ex..please stop before you hurt our boy.


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## baracuda

My ex and I broke up after a 1 1/2 years of living together. It was a very stressful relationship because I footed most of the living expenses for both of us. He on the other hand used to come up with other excuses for not wanting to work & we always used to argue over this. We got engaged and things changed for a while but afterwards drama started stirring up and we split up. He used to go clubbing with my friends and have drink ups, talking to exes, racking up bills and not helping me with anything, basically thats when he first abandoned me. He went away for 40 days. I hurt and sobbed, lost my appetite, dropped two dress sizes and suffered emotionally. I couldn't find the strength to get help from my doctor. We somehow made communication again and we got back together & he moved back with me. I took him back even though he hurt me. We stayed for a month and I got pregnant just before christmas. We had a silly fight and exchanged words and my ex decided to pack his things and leave. He spent new years Eve with his mates clubbing and messing around with girls and its been driving me mad. I'm depressed and hurt and I feel very betrayed. I have sent him very angry vile texts because I feel like I have been fooled all along. Being there for him supporting him and taking care of him when he did almost nothing for me. He has since told me that he does not care about me and my baby and does not care if I abort. I am a mature 26 year old but I do not feel like I can handle being a single mom. I have told my ex that I am going to abort just to test if he cares and he never responded. I tried talking to his family but they seem not bothered. He has since sent me a picture of him and a naked woman wearing a bra, and him sleeping on her breasts. Just to hurt me. The next day he woke up saying it was his cousin, of which I do not believe. I now feel like I have made a total arse out of myself. I am in my first year of university and am working part time and have no family where I am and I have since lost a few friends because of that relationship. My ex says he regrets ever coming back and regrets me carrying his child and calls me crazy. I just feel used and part of me wants to keep it when another part says its not worth it and I should get rid and start afresh with my life. Please advise I'm always sad, I wake up stressed everyday and i'm in a state of confusion, anger, hurt, depression all at once. I feel hopeless.


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## Lemonflower

Please don't feel hopeless baracuda and anyone else. FOB left me at 13 weeks and I have (and still) feel all the pain and sadness you've written above! I questioned myself and even considered adoption as I thought I wouldn't cope and it wouldn't be fair on the baby having such a sad and broken mum.
It IS getting easier though... There are actually days I don't cry!!! Any break up is hard though we have it harder due to all the hormones!
Everyone keeps telling me it just takes time - frustrating but I think and have faith it is true! Like I said I am feeling a little better and looking forward to my little rainbow baby after this awful storm!
I will love him so much more.
xxxx


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## Jenaroo5

shaunanicole said:


> I ended thinks with FOB after a few weeks of knowing I was pregnant. Sure you have your doubts and you feel completely alone but you have to realize that you don't need a man in your life to love your child and be happy. Try and focus on the little one inside your tum and stay positive. It's a hard and cold road to split up with someone you are having a child with but sometimes it's for the best hunny. :hugs: :D

This is soooooooooo true x


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## justhoping

grobert3 said:


> Hello there, I am finding myself in a very similar situation, I found a wonderful woman and we got to know each other very good before we started dating, we decided to be exclusive some 3-4 months ago. We both talked about wanting children and we decided to go for it. When we found out that she was pregnant we were both really excited, I have to admit I was a little scared but the fact is that I have wanted children since I was a child. We use to talk everyday and see each other every weekend. a few weeks ago (she is about 10 weeks along right now) she started saying that she was feeling really overwhelmed with everything and that she needed space. I tried to tell her that I really wanted to be with her and that I will give her the space she needs and wait for her to deal with whatever. since then she doesnt talk to me at all, I have told her how excited I am about the baby and that she is going to be a great mother and I could be happier to be having a child with HER! the past couple of weeks she will not reply any e-mails/ txts (I dont even try to call) I told her a couple days ago that, again, that I want to be there for her and support her through everything, she basically told me that she wants to be alone and deal with everyhting by herself and that she doesnt want to be responsible for someone elses happiness and that she doesnt want to be in a relationship with all the doubt that she has. Before the pregnancy the only doubt that she ever talked about was about me leaving (when I reassured her plenty of times how much I care and respect her as a person and such). I ended up replying to her that I understood (which I dont really but I didnt want to push anything) and that I would be here when she does figure everything out. I also said that I hoped she was getting support from somewhere. I have no idea what is going on and it is really hard for me. I want a baby very bad but I didnt want to lose my girlfreind to get it. Is it really the hormones? It just seems that out of no where that she has all this doubt about us and I dont get it because she always told me that she split with her ex-husband because she knew she didnt want to have kids with him. Right now I am expecting and trying to prepare my mind for the worse and hopeing for the best. Is there any advice out there that anyone could offer? thank you.

your story sounds similar to a friend of mine....and this is why i dont talk to hr anymore

she used this guy to get pregnant and then left him out in the cold...he is the nicest guy too..

not saying that this is you...but its so scarily familiar...
'
sorry....best i can say is just let her know ur there and once the baby is born if she is still pushing you away let the courts know how much you would like to share in your childs life...
they wont let her push you out....:)

good luck


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## Skywalker

I know this is a super old thread, I actually came across it on Google... but I'm interested to know from ladies who have gone through it themselves how specifically you handled that tender and intense time before, during and after birth? What type of support system did you have in place if not your man? Still trying to stay strong and not :cry: It hasn't even happened for me yet and might not still if things can turn around, but I just want to be prepared if it happens, as it seems likely it will.


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## shidevil81

I currently am a mother of 3 and am 11 weeks pregnant. The man of my dreams/soul mate walked out on me this morning before or first prenatal appointment. The last few months have been extremely rock for our family, due to anticipated infidelity on his behalf. Him walking away has become a pattern lately. When this discovery was first made I know longer desired to be with him. But soon after there was talk of his desire to have a child and spend the rest of our life's together. A month later I became pregnant, and since he's withdrawn from me. I probably shouldn't feel sad for his absents , but I do . It hurts all threw my body reaching the pit of my soul. I have never loved anyone so much , and can't understand how I could give this man what he asked for and yet it's not enough. I'm sure as time goes on the pain will subside. it seems so distant , because he not only made an impression on me but my toddlers as well. Not only do I have my own pain but now 2 broken hearted toddler too. So pre occupying my mind from him seems obsolete.


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## babygirl02201

I came to this post searching for some kind of strength. ..
I am 35 weeks today and for the 100th time since before I was pregnant, me and the FOB are splitting up. I never did well with break ups because I never wanted to be alone and always felt they would move on and I would be left to look stupid. However, once again we are splitting up.. over a minor fight. Words escalated and resulted in FOB taking his things and leaving. I told him if he takes his things and leave to not come back. In the moment, I surely was heated and just wanted to piss him off more... but a part of me is really tired of the back and fourth. His selfish attitude and all his drama that I've dealt with this whole 8months. When times are good I am really happy and grateful for him.. makes me regret the arguments but they happen too often... my heart is broken because this time he actually left ..
I usually run after but I'm tired of feeling that low and I thought that if he really loved me I shouldn't have to chase after him... Idk what to do. He still wants to be present at birth and coparent. But I just feel I have too many emotions towards the situation to just be okay with that... what should I do?


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