# Is it ok to let a 16 month old play alone in her room for an hour?



## jvdb

In your opinion is it ok to let 16 month old play alone in room for up to an hour?

I have a VERY independent 16 month old and just posted another thread about how I feel that "terrible twos" have started already. She sleeps a full night and gets a good 2-2.5 hour nap every day so her grumpiness is not due to lack of sleep. At least once a day when our little girl turns into an absolute bear and starts getting upset over everything we say "ok time for some quiet time" and put her in her room with the door closed to play. She immediately stops whining/tantruming/etc and will play contently for up to an hour. I have two feelings about this the first being that the decreased stimulation is good for her and sometimes she just needs this alone time. The other feeling is that I am taking the easy way out by just shutting her in her room (it sounds horrible - yet I can hear everything she is doing and she sounds extremely happy). Does anyone else do the same with their toddler? What are your feelings on this? Keep in mind our girl is very independent from the start and often will go read books or play on her own anyways, it's just when she gets really moody it's almost like she needs an extra reminder to remove the stimulation and go play.

Personally I think this works well for us but I cannot help but wonder what other families do? Please remember that I can hear everything she does in there and it is 100% toddler-proof. Also when she asks to come out we let her but she will spend a good amount of time in there before asking.


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## JASMAK

No, I feel children that age should still be supervised. I don't think its going to curb the behaviour. If anything, she might act up JUST to get put in there, and really, she could probably just ask. If you are putting her in the room just to give her quiet time, great. But, it sounds almost lie a consequence. At any rate, I think the age is too young. JMO of course.


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## tommyg

Personally I wouldn't. 
But I do wonder if it's she becomes bored with the toys she has downstairs or needs the telly to be switched off some else is possibly triggering the behaviour change than needing alone time.


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## suzib76

Never. My heart would be in my mouth if mine were behind a closed door at 16 months. They need supervision. Everything goes in their mouths for a start at that age.

Mine all had their toys downstairs in the living room at that age, in fact Lana is 4 now and she still plays in The living room. I wouldn't be happy with her being alone for an hour even at 4


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## Zephram

Personally I would not do this. I do feel 16 months is way too young to leave alone behind a closed door, no matter how baby proofed you feel it is. I would absolutely not do the same with my almost 20 month old. If I feel he needs quiet time I will sit with him on the couch and read a few books with him, or go in his room with him and do the same or let him play with his toys/books himself quietly as I quietly hang out with him. 

What you could do is do something else, like fold laundry in the hall outside her room, so she doesn't feel obligated to interact if she wants some 'me' time, but keep the door open and her in your sight.


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## Natsku

I would and did, she started to stop napping some days at that age so she needed some quiet time in her room to rest on the days she didn't nap. I used a stairgate in the doorway though rather than keeping the door shut so I could look in and check without disturbing her.


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## staralfur

I would probably only do it with a video monitor in the room. Or like the PP suggested, use a stair gate instead of the door so you can easily peek in.


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## SarahBear

jvdb said:


> In your opinion is it ok to let 16 month old play alone in room for up to an hour?
> 
> I have a VERY independent 16 month old and just posted another thread about how I feel that "terrible twos" have started already. She sleeps a full night and gets a good 2-2.5 hour nap every day so her grumpiness is not due to lack of sleep. At least once a day when our little girl turns into an absolute bear and starts getting upset over everything we say "ok time for some quiet time" and put her in her room with the door closed to play. She immediately stops whining/tantruming/etc and will play contently for up to an hour. I have two feelings about this the first being that the decreased stimulation is good for her and sometimes she just needs this alone time. The other feeling is that I am taking the easy way out by just shutting her in her room (it sounds horrible - yet I can hear everything she is doing and she sounds extremely happy). Does anyone else do the same with their toddler? What are your feelings on this? Keep in mind our girl is very independent from the start and often will go read books or play on her own anyways, it's just when she gets really moody it's almost like she needs an extra reminder to remove the stimulation and go play.
> 
> Personally I think this works well for us but I cannot help but wonder what other families do? Please remember that I can hear everything she does in there and it is 100% toddler-proof. Also when she asks to come out we let her but she will spend a good amount of time in there before asking.

I could never do that with my child (she likes to be with people), but from your description it sounds like the right thing for your child.


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## sheldonsmommy

Will she play in there with the door open? Or maybe you can put her in there then crack the door sneakily after 5 minutes? 

I totally hear you about the quiet time though. I've never had to close the door to get him to play quietly for a bit (when he was your lo's age), but if you feel comfortable, then you do what works :)


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## Bex84

I wouldent personally. We do chill out activities together of she is getting board for example reading, doing drawing or colouring up table, play dough, cooking etc... My daughter is nearly 3 and she stays in living room with me where her toys are. At 16 months I would worry about climbing etc, put it this way I know many stories of toddlers falling out of safe cots or trying to climb something


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## Bex84

We don't do closed doors either, I use safety gates on living room door so if I nip to kitchen I have full view


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## Gym knickers

Our 17 month old plays alone in the playroom for up to half an hour sometimes but it's down stairs with a stair gate on and I look in every few minutes. I can't bear it when she goes quiet! It's usually if I have the cooker on etc as she can reach the hobs. I don't think she's ever been behind a closed door with me in another room but I'm really paranoid and you've got to do what feels right for you xx


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## embo216

I would no problem, obviously would depend on the room though :)


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## Tor

I wouldn't leave mine but that is because they get into absolutely anything and climb/jump/fall off everything so I need to keep an eye on them it sounds like your little girl is happy and safe so I don't think its a terrible thing but it does make me a bit uneasy at the thought tbh.

ETA- I think the part that makes me uneasy is it being behind a closed door if it was a stair gate and I kept peeking in I think I would be fine with that.


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## MumToEva

I would happily leave her providing the door was open so I could check in on her as needed, but not with the door closed. What about a stair gate over her door? :shrug:


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## Snow Owl

Dylan is now in a toddler bed so has full access to his room when he wakes up. I know he plays for a good hour on his own in the morning before we get him and I have no issue with this. 

He also rarely naps and just plays quietly with his cuddlies for an hour in his room mid afternoon. I see no difference


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## Quartz

I dont think there is anything wrong with her having or wanting alone time to play (DS often goes into the playroom and plays there for an hour while I get some work done). However I would not do it as soon as she starts whinging and shut the door as I think it could give negative connotations to going into her room as she gets older. It could be seen as a punishment and that you are effectively closing her off.

I would first of all get a stair gate for the room so you can keep her safe without completely shutting it in and I would also try and build it into the routine that she plays in there so it happens before she starts tantrumming so it seen as a positive part of play and that if she has had enough she can simply say. As she gets older she will be able to communicate what she wants far more effectively. This way it promotes rightly the fact that her room is a safe and happy place for her to play by herself.


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## felix555

I wouldn't. My LO would not be happy being left in a room for any amount of time, probably not even 10 minutes. 

But you say your LO is playing happily for an hour so surely that's good for your situation?


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## WANBMUM

I think the issue is the closed door. As pp have said a stair gate would be the best alternative. Nothing wrong with playing alone but it needs to be supervised from a distance.


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## Natasha2605

I don't see the issue if a) The child can open the door whenever they want and b) There is no choking hazards within the room.

Although I don't agree with doing it whenever she whinges. To me, it's like teaching her it' not okay to have negative feelings and will result LO becoming isolated.


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## sparkle_1979

I wouldn't just do it for winging 

I do think alone play is fine but for us the door needs to he open and I pop in constantly


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## macydarling

I personally think it is fine as long as the room is child proofed and you check on her. From what you are saying this quiet time benefits her, she enjoys it and it calms her down. I am a big believer in independent play though. The 18mos old I nanny never goes to sleep right away when I put him down for his nap. He plays quietly in his room until he falls asleep (I can watch him on the baby monitor). The 3 year old also has one hour of quiet time every day in his room where he can choose to nap, play with his kindle fire or ipad. He loves his quiet time and requests it everyday. When he doesnt have quiet time he will meltdown later on in the day. You know your kids and what is best for them!


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## RaspberryK

I think it's a great idea, I think I would try and pinpoint a time that this starts to happen and preempt it rather than put her in after she's started a tantrum. Xx


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## caz_hills

I wouldn't. At that age he was a danger to himself. He would be putting toys in his mouth, pulling things down and he was always with me. Even now i wouldn't leave him for an hour on his own - if I'm home I don't see why I would?

I understand he might need to calm down sometimes but a time out I'm in eyes would be five minutes not that long. Can your LO not calm down and relax when you're there? X


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## kerrie24

I wouldn't feel safe doing that with such a young child.


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## jvdb

Thanks for your responses guys. I can see there are a lot I different toddler personalities out there and this is great for some and not for others. A for the closed door, often she will close the door on her own. But she definitely gets let out as soon as she asks to be. Also she is in a bed not a crib so no climbing that way. Thanks again


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## BabyDragon

I think it depends on the child. My niece I can leave the room to use the bathroom or something and trusts she won't be a danger to herself because of her personality....

My DD? Oh heck no. She finds the craziest things to do and is a definite danger to herself.

If she's happy and content and you know your daughter best, why not? A win win.


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## NoodleSnack

I wouldn't close the door, so she knows she's not required to stay in there. I still get nervous if he goes into a different room for a few minutes and look for him, so I couldn't do it. Please remember we do space out, so you might not hear her for a while and not think of it.


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## jenniferttc1

I personally never question my judgment of leaving him to play alone. He needs his independence. Granted he basically has no furniture but a bean bag, and a car bed in there, we live in a one story house and I just leave all doors open so he can go in any room. My house is total baby proof, I locks my doors and deadbults along with an alarm system (he has recently learned how to unlock doors) and I let him play by himself if he wants too. He is pretty much out of that phase of playing In his room though, so its nice when he decides to do it.


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## Pearls18

I can't remember what a 16 month old is like lol. I remember never being able to leave DS1 alone in his room even for a moment due to a set of shelves in there, I was worried he would pull himself up on them and they weren't sturdy, I've since changed them and he can play in his room now (he's 3 though).

I think it'll depend on the layout of your house, what is in the room, and the temperament of the child as to whether it is suitable, I would have no issue with some independent play if there was opportunity for group play at other times,but perhaps close by supervision and an open door/baby gate would be more appropriate at that age.


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## jd83

I wouldn't with the door closed, but I think with a baby gate would be fine if she prefers to play quietly in there for a while. Or with a video monitor. I wouldn't like not being able to see what she was doing with that door closed, as that's still so young and they love to get into some crazy things you'd never even dream of them getting into at that age. My son is nearly 2, and I still find myself being completely shocked at some of the things he gets into (my older son wasn't like this, so the getting into EVERYTHING is new to me).


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## Mrs HM

Snow Owl said:


> Dylan is now in a toddler bed so has full access to his room when he wakes up. I know he plays for a good hour on his own in the morning before we get him and I have no issue with this.
> 
> He also rarely naps and just plays quietly with his cuddlies for an hour in his room mid afternoon. I see no difference

^^Same here. We have a baby gate at his door though to keep him out of the bathroom as he likes to bath his teddies in the loo and flush full toilet rolls away! :haha: 

OP- I'd just be nervous with the closed door part of your post as I like to keep an eye and ear on what's going on when my DS is playing alone. We also keep our bedroom doors open at night so I guess it's what you are comfortable with.


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## XJessicaX

Wow. I have always left the kids to fend for themselves for periods of time! Never really thought anything of it. At 16 months both kids were agile competent creatures so an hour in their room, or back garden, or the whole of downstairs unsupervised for me isnt a huge deal. DD1 was in a toddler bed at 14 months, she has the whole room to herself unsupervised overnight!


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## seoj

Seems to work just great for your LO... so I see no issue with it. My LO wouldn't do this- she does at bedtime (she's always needed a lot of downtime) so long as she's in a safe spot- no issues. We've always had a video monitor too. But at 18mos, when we transitioned her from crib to toddler bed (well, bed on the floor) because she hated her crib and being confined... she did pretty great and would happily play in her room on her own for a good amount of time before laying down and going to sleep. I see no difference if she wanted to do this during the day. It's good for kids to have that independence and imaginative play on their own. Not all kids WANT it- but yours obviously does and it works for you and them... so no matter what the rest of us think, you should do what you feel is best. ;)


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## Charlee

I'm a single parent and NEVER have a break so if little one doesn't nap but is over tired, I will put him in his room to calm down a bit. That being said I never shut the door and he has a stairgate on his bedroom door and also have the monitor on so I can hear/see him.


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## lovelylaura

Yes.


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## jd83

XJessicaX said:


> Wow. I have always left the kids to fend for themselves for periods of time! Never really thought anything of it. At 16 months both kids were agile competent creatures so an hour in their room, or back garden, or the whole of downstairs unsupervised for me isnt a huge deal. DD1 was in a toddler bed at 14 months, she has the whole room to herself unsupervised overnight!

It's not the independent time being an issue for my kids, its what they do with that independent time, LOL! So far, Colton has colored all over the hallway walls with non-washable crayons (someone had given them some cheap crayons, which I had put up, don't ask me how they got them down. I should have just thrown them away after we received them. Lesson learned), stuck stickers all over furniture, torn his table and chairs all apart in his room (they are hard foam that fit together kind of like those floor puzzle foam play mat things), thrown all the clothes out of his dresser, poured a whole bottle of bubble bath all over the floor....I could go on. And these are things he got into and did with the door open, just while I happened to be occupied for a time with cooking ,etc. I can't even imagine the horror of what he'd get into behind closed doors....


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## LegoHouse

Nope! I barely trust my nearly 2 year old on his own with my 6 year old let alone by himself lol


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## Seity

My 16 month old gets up at 5:45 and has the run of the house until I get up at 8. Works for us. My kids have always been independent because we encourage them to play on their own. The 4 year old usually gets up at 6:30 and joins the younger one. I think a lot depends on the child's personality.


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## Noodlebear

I'd never shut the door on my son, I don't think that's safe for children their age regardless of how independent they are.


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## minties

If she's happy to do it I don't see an issue. If she were crying or hated it or her room had any dangers then obviously not, but she sounds happy.

My kids play by themselves but like to know I am near, so we are all usually in the same room.

I would not like Sophie to wander the house alone in the mornings, she would get hungry and cry anyway, or wreck the TV/stereo so I get up with her, which is usually 5am.


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## KatieB

Alex doesn't play upstairs on his own. All their toys are in the front room for a start and I am fine with leaving him to play for a while in there (we have a stairgate over the door) while I do housework/cook etc. I'd never get anything done otherwise. I just check on him frequently. The door is left open but he closes it all the time!


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## icklemonster

Personally, I wouldn't be able to relax for an hour with the door closed. We do have a Graco fabric playpen, and if I'm having a shower / taking a business call / cooking dinner etc I do put her in there and leave the room, and she is perfectly happy playing in there for up to 30 minutes with some children's TV. While my house is fairly toddler proofed it is no where near enough to trust her alone in a whole room. Maybe if we didn't have the playpen I would have worked harder to have a fully babyproofed room. Whatever works for you though xxx


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## Midnight_Fairy

I wouldn't. When my DD gets like this we change setting. Garden or walk, quiet time and drink etc.


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## d_b

I don't see any problem with it, I would do this. It's not like she's yelling to be let out :) I do leave DS1 in his crib for 30-45 minute quiet time if he doesn't nap. Usually he just plays and sometimes he does yell to get out and I go back in and tell him it's quiet time. We have a video monitor.


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## fieryphoenix

Seity said:


> My 16 month old gets up at 5:45 and has the run of the house until I get up at 8. Works for us. My kids have always been independent because we encourage them to play on their own. The 4 year old usually gets up at 6:30 and joins the younger one. I think a lot depends on the child's personality.

What does he do for two hours? Do you leave breakfast out for him? I'm having trouble envisioning this being a safe option for a toddler that's not even 1.5 yet :wacko:


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## kimberleyrobx

Of course it is! We do it all the time! With emily... She started walking at 9 months... Have you any idea how hard it is to get ready in the mornings and get some housework done when a one year old just wants to come out their cot and play?! 
Emily has been independantly playing in her room since she was about 10 months, she was a smart cookie and as long as there was nothing hazardous in her room then she was good to go!
Nathan is the same, he is 17 months old now and he has been playing in his bedroom with his big sister since he was about 10 months too, obviously checking on him every 10 minutes (although in our house we can hear the tiniest noises when downstairs, so imagine the disruption they caused upstairs :haha:

Some people have very mixed opinions on this, but i say why not! As long as theres nothing in the bedroom they could harm themselves on then i do not see a problem xx


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## kimberleyrobx

jvdb said:


> In your opinion is it ok to let 16 month old play alone in room for up to an hour?
> 
> I have a VERY independent 16 month old and just posted another thread about how I feel that "terrible twos" have started already. She sleeps a full night and gets a good 2-2.5 hour nap every day so her grumpiness is not due to lack of sleep. At least once a day when our little girl turns into an absolute bear and starts getting upset over everything we say "ok time for some quiet time" and put her in her room with the door closed to play. She immediately stops whining/tantruming/etc and will play contently for up to an hour. I have two feelings about this the first being that the decreased stimulation is good for her and sometimes she just needs this alone time. The other feeling is that I am taking the easy way out by just shutting her in her room (it sounds horrible - yet I can hear everything she is doing and she sounds extremely happy). Does anyone else do the same with their toddler? What are your feelings on this? Keep in mind our girl is very independent from the start and often will go read books or play on her own anyways, it's just when she gets really moody it's almost like she needs an extra reminder to remove the stimulation and go play.
> 
> Personally I think this works well for us but I cannot help but wonder what other families do? Please remember that I can hear everything she does in there and it is 100% toddler-proof. Also when she asks to come out we let her but she will spend a good amount of time in there before asking.

I think your doing the right thing. Its very good for toddlers to be with their parents and anyone else all the time, but its also really good for them to have alone time to themselves and independent play to do what they want. Our almost 3 year old has been independently playing in her room since she was 10 months old and she too has been a very independent (and determined) child since she was born, not joking! Everyone needs alone time, even kiddies imo xx


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## Midnight_Fairy

Well I just thought you got on with it lol isnt that what its all about. Yes its not easy getting ready with a 1 yr old but its also not impossible? I just find the whole unsupervised thing a bit strange. Early years parenting is full on but hey ho!? I also have a 8 and 9yr old who can be independent but were never left alone at young age. It comes with age IMO. Im shocked.


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## smileyfaces

I would leave my DS2 who is 16 months tomorrow in a room if there were no hazards but not for an hour. Probably ten mins tops and id make sure he would have toys and a dvd to keep him happy.

Leaving a child that age to have run of the house for several hours?! Hell no.


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## Noodlebear

Midnight_Fairy said:


> Well I just thought you got on with it lol isnt that what its all about. Yes its not easy getting ready with a 1 yr old but its also not impossible? I just find the whole unsupervised thing a bit strange. Early years parenting is full on but hey ho!? I also have a 8 and 9yr old who can be independent but were never left alone at young age. It comes with age IMO. Im shocked.

I agree. I think it's lovely that a lot of our toddlers are independent (mine is too) but they don't have the level of understanding that older children have and for that reason I just don't think leaving young children for that length of time can ever be a safe thing to do!


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## HKateH

I'm obviously not very good at baby proofing because I can't think of a single place in our house that I'd leave LO on his own. Even in his room, I'd be terrified of him trapping his fingers in drawers or the wardrobe falling on top of him. Do some of you live in padded houses or am I just the worst baby proofer ever??


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## bumpbear

If its child proofed _and it benefits your child_, why-ever not? As long as you peek in regularly to make sure she is okay and don't go off doing chores that would distract you for so long that she gets left unsupervised for ages! I think its possible for a child to play independently but still be supervised and safe this way. Maybe a child gate would make it a bit less closed off and encourage your daughter not to want to be shut off from the rest of the world entirely? Also, if you want her to spend less time alone, gradually reduce the time she spends in there over a few weeks until she doesn't need the alone time anymore.

I have the opposite issue in that my 2 year old has always needed company ALL THE TIME. I wish she could keep herself entertained for just ten minutes but no such luck - she follows me to the toilet and even has to sleep in our bed at night. People tell me that I am not allowing her to be independent, but she really doesn't like being alone. Of course I give her opportunities to play independently, but if she doesn't want to be by herself, I am not going to force it and you are doing the same thing in not forcing her to be around people for a few minutes a day if she doesn't want to be. I'm just going with my parental instinct and giving her what I think she needs (which is company 24/7). I am sure you are doing what you think is best too and are aware of hazards - it doesn't sound like you're just being lazy. You know her best so do what works for your child.


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## minties

I really don't think that leaving a small toddler alone so long is very adequate supervision seity, and yeah...doesn't he get hungry? Aren't you at all worried that he might attempt to climb out a window, or get on the oven and turn the elements on? Sophie is a real adventurer as are most 1 year olds and she's always attempting dangerous stuff.

I think there is a big difference between fostering some independence and not watching your kids so you can stay in bed half the morning.


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## pinklightbulb

Eamon yes, but he is four. Liam alone no, but with Eamon I see no problem. They watch DVDs together in Eamons room and shut me out lol.


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## Midnight_Fairy

^WSS its our job to protect them. What they want and what they actually need are different. I take it as my role to figure what jades moaning about. Yes she does actually need time out sometimes but I make that safe chill out zone for her with books etc but I couldn't imagine unattended. Curtains, drawers, anything could pose a risk with toddlers.


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## dani_tinks

No I'd never leave a small child in a closed room unsupervised. Jacob has always had time outs but he would be put in his cot for 5 mins to calm down, with his door open.
He of course wanders around the house, we live in a bungalow, but all doors are open throughout and I've always kept an eye on him - that's my role as Mum! I don't really understand why you'd leave a child in a shut room for that amount of time on their own.


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## sbl

No not something I would do personally. 
I have to check her regularly even with all doors open. I wouldn't trust her. 
So many accidents can happen.
Some of the replies have baffled me a little. 
I worry about leaving my lo outside the bathroom door while I go. I can't imagine letting her have free run of the house for hours. 
I certainly wouldn't be able to relax!


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## lily28

Ok depends on what we call "playing alone". My son is 14 mo, he plays alone because he is an only child lol, and I do have other things to do besides playing with him all day. I try to include him in everything, but things like on line work etc he gets bored and he goes to play alone in the living room, no closed doors and I can supervise him. He will come to my desk for a hug and then return to his toys. 
Independent play is important because this is how they will develop their concentration skills. Don't interrupt their concentration if they play quietly. It's a rare and admirable skill!

This doesn't apply for babies less than 12 mo btw, they shouldn't be left alone imho. It's dangerous and too stressful for them. They show signs of readiness on their own.


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## Midnight_Fairy

I think playing 'on own' and playing in a room with door shut are 2 diff things.


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## jd83

minties said:


> I really don't think that leaving a small toddler alone so long is very adequate supervision seity, and yeah...doesn't he get hungry? Aren't you at all worried that he might attempt to climb out a window, or get on the oven and turn the elements on? Sophie is a real adventurer as are most 1 year olds and she's always attempting dangerous stuff.
> 
> I think there is a big difference between fostering some independence and not watching your kids so you can stay in bed half the morning.

Absolutely agree. I can't imagine sleeping an extra 2 hours beyond when my kids get up; there are sooo many dangerous things that could happen in that amount of time. My older son does sometimes get up pretty early and will watch a cartoon on his own for 20 minutes or so until we get up, but he is 4. Not 16 months like this poster mentioned letting run around for hours unattended. My nearly 2 year old I would NEVER not get up with. When he wakes, I wake. He's far to adventurous to not be supervised, and would quickly do something to either destroy the house or hurt himself if I weren't watching. And honestly, even if this weren't the case...they are toddlers. They can be the best behaved toddler in the world, but they are still toddlers with toddler curiosity. All it takes is something dangerous sparking their interest for something bad to happen, and if you're sleeping still, you may not even know until its too late.

There's a big difference between encouraging independent play (which should still be checked on periodically), which is great, and just leaving your child unsupervised for hours on end. I could never do that.


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## sparkle_1979

Mine play on their own but nit with a door shut. We are oh three floors and currently all three on different floors but I can hear them and I will check on them a lot ... Ones in a play room and ones watching TV in the kitchen 

Did I read right that someone lets there 16 mth old get up on their own for over two hours before you get up ? How can u think this is ok ? :dohh:


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## sparkle_1979

Seity said:


> My 16 month old gets up at 5:45 and has the run of the house until I get up at 8. Works for us. My kids have always been independent because we encourage them to play on their own. The 4 year old usually gets up at 6:30 and joins the younger one. I think a lot depends on the child's personality.


Here is is :shrug:

Sorry I have to ask do u really let your 16mth up alone for two hours before u get up ? I can't imagine a child so young being left for this long... I have to say it, this is lazy parenting and that's without the dangers involved :shrug: what about choking ? Falling ? I keep hoping I read it wrong 

I really really hate to judge but I just am so shocked I've never heard of anyone that does this...in fact I think it verges on neglect ... 16 mths unattended, he's a baby :(


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## Cariad_x

It's not something I would be comfortable with at all - i MIGHT be on board if there was a baby gate so I could easily see him but even then if I find Ollie is getting bored or whingy I distract and change activities. Of course he plays independently if I have stuff to do but I always keep him nearby within eye or eat shot. 

Re: a 16 month getting up and hour and a half before me whilst I lie in bed? No. Just no. Oliver is in to everything - he climbs on tables, tries to pull the baby gate down, clambers over anything I put in place to stop him from getting at cables.. He's just too nosey. Plus he would never go that long without some form of attention or food! I'm sorry buy I just find that really lazy parenting so you can get a bit more kip.


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## _jellybean_

Sounds dangerous to let a little one have the run of the house unsupervised.


----------



## sequeena

Hi I couldn't have left my son at that age and still can't but if it's working for you then that's fine as long as everything is baby proofed x


----------



## HKateH

I'm sure the poster who said about letting her 16m old get up alone was being sarcastic... It isn't possible surely...


----------



## jd83

HKateH said:


> I'm sure the poster who said about letting her 16m old get up alone was being sarcastic... It isn't possible surely...

Depends if her lo is already in a toddler bed, and can leave the room on his own already. My son has been in a toddler bed since around 17 months and can wander around on his own when awake(although I go get him once I hear he is awake), so I think she was serious.


----------



## minties

I don't think she was being sarcastic. Just has different ideas about parenting I think.


----------



## Noodlebear

She may well have meant it sarcastically, I hope so anyway. Tbh if I was aware of someone doing that in real life it'd be one of those situations where I'd start wondering if I needed to call ss about it :/


----------



## HKateH

This forum sometimes reminds me of a Peepshow episode when Mark and Jez try to get everyone sectioned... Except with social services.


----------



## Noodlebear

Don't think I saw that one lol


----------



## Leids

There's a big difference between encouraging independence and being negligent. Leaving a 16 month old to have the run of the house by themselves isn't encouraging independence, it's being lazy. :wacko:


----------



## minties

What is a peep show? Sounds like something dirty...


----------



## sbl

minties said:


> What is a peep show? Sounds like something dirty...

Its a TV comedy. Not dirty at all.


----------



## NoodleSnack

I think some of the comments are out of line, you don't know what her house is like, so leave her alone. Letting children wake up a few hours before is not neglect and what about it could possibly require a call to ss? How is she hurting her children? She might not look after them the way I would but they seem like happy children who are well tended to to me in the picture.


----------



## fieryphoenix

minties said:


> What is a peep show? Sounds like something dirty...

It is... Lol 
https://dictionary.reference.com/browse/peep show


----------



## staralfur

Oh, don't tell me you guys don't have 5 cent peep shows at the local sex shops?!


----------



## Noodlebear

NoodleSnack said:


> I think some of the comments are out of line, you don't know what her house is like, so leave her alone. Letting children wake up a few hours before is not neglect and what about it could possibly require a call to ss? How is she hurting her children? She might not look after them the way I would but they seem like happy children who are well tended to to me in the picture.

Any number of things could happen to a child who isn't being looked after for 2 hours so I feel like that was a slightly silly question. Sorry, I must've forgotten that you can tell everything from a photo :s leaving a child to play for an hour is something I wouldn't do but each to their own. You're up an about so would be checking on them. Being lazy and not looking after your children for that length of time in the morning while you stay in bed is lazy and dangerous.


----------



## minties

Would you leave a young toddler at home alone and leave the house for that long? No. How is staying asleep (guessing asleep otherwise why not get up?) in your room where you can't see them or supervise them any different? It's not to me.

Doesn't matter what the house is like. Poster has expressed her disgust at the idea of baby proofing or making sure the house is safe in the past.

Up alone, with a wet nappy, no company and no food?


----------



## sparkle_1979

NoodleSnack said:


> I think some of the comments are out of line, you don't know what her house is like, so leave her alone. Letting children wake up a few hours before is not neglect and what about it could possibly require a call to ss? How is she hurting her children? She might not look after them the way I would but they seem like happy children who are well tended to to me in the picture.

I'm sorry but I stand by everything I said, in my eyes leaving a 16 mth old to do what he likes for over two hours while you sleep in the mornings is neglectful


----------



## Darlingbump2

I think the fact that she is able and 'willing' to play by herself in her room proves she is content in doing so. If a 16 month old didn't want to do something she wouldn't!!

I personally wouldn't close her room door but perhaps would use a gate instead. I still need to be able to see my DO. 

The time she is playing by herself provides an opportunity for her to explore her inner and outer worlds of creativity and passion. Naturally strengthen her independent spirit. In a way it is her thinking time:)

A bit of reading you might useful is on fostering independent play.


----------



## bumpbear

It does seem a bit odd but there is not much detail. Lets not jump to the worst conclusions straight away. She could be in bed awake with the door open the whole time and able to hear everything for all we know. :shrug:


----------



## catty

It son has been playing in his room for small periods of time from about 10 months, mainly because he crawls in there and plays with his toys. I peek in constantly (don't close the door) and I'm happy with with this whilst I go to the toilet etc.

I seriously don't no how some people are able to let their child be unattended around the house though. I'm not judging anyone I'm seriously curious as to how it works. Whilst I was in the same room as my son he climbed on top of one of his toys and pulled down a vase, It smashed and he cut his hand open, if he had then fallen on it i gain it could have been a serious accident. I think I need baby proofing advice as he's constantly hurting himself already


----------



## Bevziibubble

I definitely wouldn't. I am all for independent play; my LO likes to play alone but supervised in the living room. IMO there are too many dangers for a young toddler to be alone in a room. A year ago my LO pulled down a radiator cover onto herself while I was right there with her. It landed right on her back and it could have been a lot more serious than it was. This was when I was right there with her, so I dread to think what she could do if I left her alone in her bedroom!


----------



## lhancock90

I wouldn't do it when she whinges, or as punishment because it gives negative associations with the room where she sleeps. However. Evelyn absolutely did and still does that. Her room was safe. Sockets covered, no hazards etc and she used to for 40 minutes ish? She LOVED her independent play! We had a stair gate on the room so i could peak in, or sometimes id sit on the stairs or bed and read. 
Kids are not alike, if it works for one, stick with it.


----------



## HKateH

Hold up. Peep Show is a British comedy, not a cheap sex show LOL.

I was merely pointing out that it seems as though some of us have Social Services on speed dial...


----------



## NoodleSnack

Noodlebear said:


> NoodleSnack said:
> 
> 
> I think some of the comments are out of line, you don't know what her house is like, so leave her alone. Letting children wake up a few hours before is not neglect and what about it could possibly require a call to ss? How is she hurting her children? She might not look after them the way I would but they seem like happy children who are well tended to to me in the picture.
> 
> Any number of things could happen to a child who isn't being looked after for 2 hours so I feel like that was a slightly silly question. Sorry, I must've forgotten that you can tell everything from a photo :s leaving a child to play for an hour is something I wouldn't do but each to their own. You're up an about so would be checking on them. Being lazy and not looking after your children for that length of time in the morning while you stay in bed is lazy and dangerous.Click to expand...

The question stands: how is she hurting her children? A child could get hurt at any time, and yet hers appear to be fine up by themselves in the morning. 

You're assuming that she's not looking after them, do you know for a fact that she doesn't tend to them when they come to her? My son could come to me when he wanted something from younger than that. 

The photo may not tell everything but nor do you know everything and it's unwarranted and disrespectful to assume that she's a neglectful parent just because she wrote that she sleeps in in the morning while her children roam the house.


----------



## NoodleSnack

minties said:


> Would you leave a young toddler at home alone and leave the house for that long? No. How is staying asleep (guessing asleep otherwise why not get up?) in your room where you can't see them or supervise them any different? It's not to me.
> 
> Doesn't matter what the house is like. Poster has expressed her disgust at the idea of baby proofing or making sure the house is safe in the past.
> 
> Up alone, with a wet nappy, no company and no food?

I'm not seeing this pitiful picture you're seeing. My son is rarely bothered by a wet nappy, refuses his breakfast even though I get up to make a whole range of food to tempt him, and when he wants company, which is most of the time, he will make me know it. So I assume her children are similarly assertive. 

As for staying in bed after waking up, it's just nice to do that. 

I don't believe that sleeping is the same as leaving the house, otherwise I would never sleep. I would never leave him to sleep in the house alone, but I do leave him to sleep and go to sleep myself. 

I also assume other people's children sometimes wake up in the night, so how is it different if they'e in a different room and the parents are asleep and not know that they woke?


----------



## AnneD

I wouldn't and couldn't (mine wants and needs to be with me practically all the time). I wouldn't leave her alone and awake unattended and unsupervised for hours while I slept, either. I don't think it'd be safe, no matter how much baby-proofing there is, unless it's a padded cell perhaps. Agree with minties about a wet nappy and no food, too. Parenting small children is intense and full-on.


----------



## minties

NoodleSnack said:


> minties said:
> 
> 
> Would you leave a young toddler at home alone and leave the house for that long? No. How is staying asleep (guessing asleep otherwise why not get up?) in your room where you can't see them or supervise them any different? It's not to me.
> 
> Doesn't matter what the house is like. Poster has expressed her disgust at the idea of baby proofing or making sure the house is safe in the past.
> 
> Up alone, with a wet nappy, no company and no food?
> 
> I'm not seeing this pitiful picture you're seeing. My son is rarely bothered by a wet nappy, refuses his breakfast even though I get up to make a whole range of food to tempt him, and when he wants company, which is most of the time, he will make me know it. So I assume her children are similarly assertive.
> 
> As for staying in bed after waking up, it's just nice to do that.
> 
> I don't believe that sleeping is the same as leaving the house, otherwise I would never sleep. I would never leave him to sleep in the house alone, but I do leave him to sleep and go to sleep myself.
> 
> I also assume other people's children sometimes wake up in the night, so how is it different if they'e in a different room and the parents are asleep and not know that they woke?Click to expand...

I do think it is different and I am sorry you can't see that. My kids wake in the night, they cry, they want attention. They don't just get up, go play in the bathroom or climb about all over the table by themselves. 

Refusing to get out of bed before a certain time and leaving a SMALL and YOUNG toddler to their own devices is not adequate supervision. 

We aren't talking about a 7 year old who can feed themselves, go to the toilet, get their own clothes on. It's practically a baby just wandering around the house alone. Hot taps? Accidents? Falls? Sure they can happen right in front of you, but what if you're asleep and had no idea? All because you just didn't want to get out of bed until some late time? Of course it's nice to stay in bed, it's also equally as nice to chill out with your baby/toddler and make sure they are safe and well. Why not get up with them and lie on the sofa? Watch TV?

Knowingly leaving a wee tot alone for hours is not the same thing as your kid waking during the night and getting up. That isn't on purpose, it's a night waking! I don't know how you can say they are the same thing.

Good on your son for not caring about a saggy baggy nappy around his knees. I know my daughter doesn't enjoy that. And sorry your son doesn't eat, guess I am lucky I have kids who do.


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

^Totally agree. A 16mth should not be responsible for themselves. I still get up with all of mine and I would regardless of time.


----------



## tommyg

I'm actually amazed that her 16mth old isn't trying to get into bed with her or bouncing on top of her head.
However I wouldn't trust my 3 yo to have run of the house. We still have a stair gate to stop him going down stairs during the night.


----------



## lhancock90

Edit: Should've read properly


----------



## Noodlebear

Atleast you bother getting out of bed and don't leave them for 2 hours.


----------



## lhancock90

Noodlebear said:


> Atleast you bother getting out of bed and don't leave them for 2 hours.

What am i missing in this thread? Does OP leave them for 2 hours? I'm lost now! I thought we were talking about short periods of time?


----------



## Noodlebear

lhancock90 said:


> Noodlebear said:
> 
> 
> Atleast you bother getting out of bed and don't leave them for 2 hours.
> 
> What am i missing in this thread? Does OP leave them for 2 hours? I'm lost now! I thought we were talking about short periods of time?Click to expand...

Another poster said her 16 month old is basically free to play around the house when he wakes up in the morning for about 2 hours until she gets up.


----------



## sparkle_1979

lhancock90 said:


> You know, every morning the kids wake up and for about 20 minutes, whilst i'm forcing myself out of bed after yet another sleepless night, they play together. Call SS!


She's no about letting her 16 mth old get up having free run of the house for over 2 hrs before she gets up..not the op


----------



## lhancock90

Noodlebear said:


> lhancock90 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Noodlebear said:
> 
> 
> Atleast you bother getting out of bed and don't leave them for 2 hours.
> 
> What am i missing in this thread? Does OP leave them for 2 hours? I'm lost now! I thought we were talking about short periods of time?Click to expand...
> 
> Another poster said her 16 month old is basically free to play around the house when he wakes up in the morning for about 2 hours until she gets up.Click to expand...




sparkle_1979 said:


> lhancock90 said:
> 
> 
> You know, every morning the kids wake up and for about 20 minutes, whilst i'm forcing myself out of bed after yet another sleepless night, they play together. Call SS!
> 
> 
> She's no about letting her 16 mth old get up having free run of the house for over 2 hrs before she gets up..not the opClick to expand...

Oh wow no that's totally different to me! I thought it was the same scenario as i do? I mean 20 minutes isn't much but run of the house for 2 hours? I wouldn't do that!


----------



## Noodlebear

I couldn't let Lucas play unsupervised for 20 minutes purely because I'd worry about what he was doing to my house :haha: we have more than enough little hand prints on our walls for the time being lol


----------



## lhancock90

Noodlebear said:


> I couldn't let Lucas play unsupervised for 20 minutes purely because I'd worry about what he was doing to my house :haha: we have more than enough little hand prints on our walls for the time being lol

Me either! Haha the 20 minutes mine do are in their room haha, totally safe and usually a bombsite anyway! Run of the house nowayyy
When i was little my parents did this with me and i climbed up the sides and drank ear cleaner and something corrosive and ended up in hospital!


----------



## Noodlebear

lhancock90 said:


> Noodlebear said:
> 
> 
> I couldn't let Lucas play unsupervised for 20 minutes purely because I'd worry about what he was doing to my house :haha: we have more than enough little hand prints on our walls for the time being lol
> 
> Me either! Haha the 20 minutes mine do are in their room haha, totally safe and usually a bombsite anyway! Run of the house nowayyy
> When i was little my parents did this with me and i climbed up the sides and drank ear cleaner and something corrosive and ended up in hospital!Click to expand...

Christ how scary! Luckily they realised you'd done it or that could've been really awful!!


----------



## lhancock90

Noodlebear said:


> lhancock90 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Noodlebear said:
> 
> 
> I couldn't let Lucas play unsupervised for 20 minutes purely because I'd worry about what he was doing to my house :haha: we have more than enough little hand prints on our walls for the time being lol
> 
> Me either! Haha the 20 minutes mine do are in their room haha, totally safe and usually a bombsite anyway! Run of the house nowayyy
> When i was little my parents did this with me and i climbed up the sides and drank ear cleaner and something corrosive and ended up in hospital!Click to expand...
> 
> Christ how scary! Luckily they realised you'd done it or that could've been really awful!!Click to expand...

I know right? I don't think they ever left me like that again, they thought it was safe because all the stuff was in a high cuboard.. but obviously kids learn fast!


----------



## Noodlebear

Very true! I think sometimes people underestimate their children or overestimate their understanding of the world just because they seem more 'independent'.


----------



## MrsPear

If I leave Joni for any length of time, she smears poo across her hands and face, and around the surrounding environment. And she sounds _very_ happy whilst she's doing it. So, for the sake of my soft furnishings, I wouldn't leave Joni somewhere I couldn't see her for any period of time at any point during the day even if I could hear her.


----------



## sparkle_1979

Omg I don't blame you x :)


----------



## Noodlebear

I haven't had to deal with that just yet but I am reliably informed that I redecorated my living room with my poo when I was younger (obviously, because I can afford paint now) ....and possibly ate some my mum wasn't sure :sick:


----------



## Bevziibubble

I used to wash my dolls' hair in a potty full of pee :wacko:


----------



## Noodlebear

You weirdo! ;) :rofl:


----------



## Bevziibubble

I was a very odd child! :rofl:


----------



## HKateH

I'm with you all on the not trusting what your toddler is up to thing! Not looking forward to him smearing poo over things! My LO's current favourite wind up is poking his tonsils until he's sick. So if I left him alone for more than 10 seconds, I'd go bankrupt trying to feed him and the house would be swimming in vomit!


----------



## pompeyvix

I am incredibly shocked at the poster who stays in bed for 2 hours after her LO gets up :nope: 

As for the OP, I personally wouldn't be comfortable with my LO playing alone behind a closed door for an hour. I do think putting a stair gate on the bedroom door and you staying close by is a good option.

As for leaving LO's alone - it definitely depends on personality to an extent. Every morning I leave my LO in our bedroom whilst I take a shower. The bathroom is right next door, both doors are left open and I am 10 minutes max. Our room is baby proofed and I take out anything that could pose a danger. I also know her personality, she isn't boisterous or over curious. She quite happily sits on my bed and watches some cbeebies and when I come back in she hasn't moved. If she needs me she can come into the bathroom and if she were to be upset I'd hear her. I have friends who could never leave their toddlers alone for even a minute as they are so full on and into everything and literally cannot be trusted alone at all.


----------



## Natsku

To be honest, when Maria was between 15 and 18 months old she went through a phase where a few nights a week she'd be awake for hours between 1ish and 6ish and I would usually end up falling asleep on the sofa while she played so she was technically unsupervised for a few hours each time.


----------



## Menelly

HKateH said:


> I'm obviously not very good at baby proofing because I can't think of a single place in our house that I'd leave LO on his own. Even in his room, I'd be terrified of him trapping his fingers in drawers or the wardrobe falling on top of him. Do some of you live in padded houses or am I just the worst baby proofer ever??

100% serious: Bolt your wardrobe to the walls. Kids have died from them falling on them. Any heavy furniture should ALWAYS be bolted to walls. 

That said, to the OP: I leave my 2 year old alone in her room to take naps and go to bed (she's in a full bed) and I feel no guilt. We baby proofed her room, and she falls asleep when she's ready to. Sometimes she goes right away, sometimes she takes an hour. I see no real problem with it at all.


----------



## Louise88

Personally no I wouldn't, I have a friend who has a big playroom and when I stopped over at hers last year my dd was around 16-17 months and she kept saying, just put her in the playroom with the boys and have a break, I wouldn't though I hated the thought of her chocking on something or hanging herself and me not being there. My dd is 2 now though and if I need to deal with my ds without any noise from her I will put her in her bedroom but I have baby proofed it completely I went through everything and removed choking hazards, toys with long strings and bags that could suffocate her so I can calmly leave her in there for 30-60 minutes going up to check on her a couple times.


----------



## HKateH

Can I ask how one goes about bolting wardrobes to the walls? LO's wardrobe is a standalone type from Mothercare which stands away from the wall by about an inch.


----------



## MrsPear

HKateH said:


> Can I ask how one goes about bolting wardrobes to the walls? LO's wardrobe is a standalone type from Mothercare which stands away from the wall by about an inch.

I think if you look up wardrobe furniture straps on google you'll find some. They are like straps that go from the wall to the wardrobe.

My house is not particularly baby proof either though (the wardrobe is attached to the wall though because it is an IKEA one and they sell the corresponding attachments so it's easy to know what to get!). Also, even stuff that is 'baby proof' I think it could be used in the wrong way. E.g. (just one example) Joni has an ikea toddler table and chair. They're pretty safe for kids, I consider them 'baby proof' and I don't watch her like a hawk if she uses them. She has never thought of it but if she wanted to, she could push them to the kitchen worktop and climb up. We keep the knives on the middle of the worktop, which again I consider 'baby proof' as she can't reach them. So...if it crossed her mind, she could un-baby-proof the place and get on the worktop. Probably a hundred more examples too.


----------



## RaspberryK

My ds isn't like it but my brother was a terror, he climbed out of his playpen when my mum was hanging out washing and climbed up the set of drawers into the kitchen worktop as a very young toddler. 
But I know my ds just wouldn't, hence I can leave him while I shower and get ready. 
Xx


----------



## babyjan

My son who is 2.5 would never leave me to sleep for 5 mins let alone 2 hours!


----------



## Bevziibubble

babyjan said:


> My son who is 2.5 would never leave me to sleep for 5 mins let alone 2 hours!

Same! :haha:


----------



## pandacub

MrsPear said:


> HKateH said:
> 
> 
> Can I ask how one goes about bolting wardrobes to the walls? LO's wardrobe is a standalone type from Mothercare which stands away from the wall by about an inch.
> 
> I think if you look up wardrobe furniture straps on google you'll find some. They are like straps that go from the wall to the wardrobe.
> 
> My house is not particularly baby proof either though (the wardrobe is attached to the wall though because it is an IKEA one and they sell the corresponding attachments so it's easy to know what to get!). Also, even stuff that is 'baby proof' I think it could be used in the wrong way. E.g. (just one example) Joni has an ikea toddler table and chair. They're pretty safe for kids, I consider them 'baby proof' and I don't watch her like a hawk if she uses them. She has never thought of it but if she wanted to, she could push them to the kitchen worktop and climb up. We keep the knives on the middle of the worktop, which again I consider 'baby proof' as she can't reach them. So...if it crossed her mind, she could un-baby-proof the place and get on the worktop. Probably a hundred more examples too.Click to expand...

Yep, I was at my friends and we were sat in the garden. Her LO said he needed a wee so went inside, and came out 1 minute later holding a kitchen knife! He had pushed the bin to the counter, climed up onto the work surface and grabbed a knife. So so lucky he didn't hurt himself


----------



## Katerpillar

It never fails to amaze me just how different kids can be  and how differently so many of us parent. Im in the live and let live camp  sure I do many things that I would never declare on here (lesson learnt) that will cause judgement from others. 

To the OP, I think that your LO plays independently is great  my little one loves her own company too  but I agree with maybe getting a safety gate as opposed to shutting the door. Can she open the door herself if she needed to be out? Just for my own peace of mind that would be the one thing that I would readdress.


----------



## Seity

People seem rather shocked by my son's ability to not get into trouble at a young age. I'm not. I've encouraged both my boys to play independently on their own during the day, so that we can do whatever household tasks need doing. When he wakes, I change his diaper and put out a sippy of milk and some snacks for him. He munches on those and plays with his toys same as if I was awake. If he needs me, he comes into the bedroom and wakes me. When my four year old wakes, he gets his drink out of the fridge. He'll then generally turn on one of his Netflix shows. The bathroom doors are closed and the little one can't climb up on anything. I think the cats get up to more mischief at night.


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

Im not shocked at ability. I just think its lazy. Tbh!


----------



## jd83

Seity said:


> People seem rather shocked by my son's ability to not get into trouble at a young age. I'm not. I've encouraged both my boys to play independently on their own during the day, so that we can do whatever household tasks need doing. When he wakes, I change his diaper and put out a sippy of milk and some snacks for him. He munches on those and plays with his toys same as if I was awake. If he needs me, he comes into the bedroom and wakes me. When my four year old wakes, he gets his drink out of the fridge. He'll then generally turn on one of his Netflix shows. The bathroom doors are closed and the little one can't climb up on anything. I think the cats get up to more mischief at night.

It's more that you are trusting that since nothing bad has happened so far, you have faith that nothing bad will happen in the future while you continue doing this. The fact still remains that he is barely beyond being a baby, and you are leaving him unsupervised for hours while you go back to sleep. I'm glad to hear you are at least giving him a snack, and changing his diaper, but I still just can't even fathom doing what you are doing in sleeping with your kids awake for hours. It only takes once of your son getting curious, as toddlers tend to do, and you not being there supervising him because you are sleeping. It's entirely different to nighttime when everyone is sleeping, and there is little risk of them getting into something, obviously, since they are sleeping. I've already mentioned my younger son being a holy terror getting into everything, but even my older son who is completely laid back I can't imagine having left unsupervised at that age. He still to this day, and he's 4 now, gets some crazy ideas on a whim of something fun to try out, and would end up getting pretty hurt if it weren't for me seeing him about to do it and stopping him. I really think you need to re-evaluate what you are doing. Its really, really not safe for your kids to be unsupervised, especially a 16 month old. There's a huge difference between encouraging them to be independent and play on their own, and just leaving them completely to do their own thing while you sleep the morning away.


----------



## minties

So many what-ifs! Sophie is a very independent player as well, still...I value her safety over being lazy in bed indulging in myself. I've seen plenty of pictures of your house on her and there are lots of things for him to climb on etc. is he physically disabled? As I'm amazed he doesn't do any climbing! 

Once a man came to the door scoping the place out as a potential burglary site, he tried to get in and broke our back door when I was in the toilet. We had cops all over the back yard which is the first I knew of it. I didn't hear a thing. He manged to break into the neighbours place. Apparently my flushing the toilet scared him but the kids just stood there watching him! Thomas casually said "oh yeah a man was trying to get in the kitchen".


----------



## sam2eb

What ifs can happen in 2 minutes though! 

Do people honestly not let their toddlers out of their sight at all? Fair play if you don't but I know I do!


----------



## jd83

sam2eb said:


> What ifs can happen in 2 minutes though!
> 
> Do people honestly not let their toddlers out of their sight at all? Fair play if you don't but I know I do!

This is true too, and I think many of us if not all have had bad scares happen in short periods of time. Like while cooking, going to the bathroom, etc. Which is why it seems even scarier to me to leave a toddler that young unwatched and unchecked for hours. I've seen what can happen when I turn away for just a few minutes. I hate to think what could happen if I were to just continue sleeping while they were up playing and getting into things.


----------



## minties

Of course they go out of our sights, after all, one must poo and have sex (not at the same time of course). I just think "most" people don't leave them alone for hours on end. 2 minutes is a lot different to 2+ hours and you are better able to respond to an emergency if you are actually awake!


----------



## Menelly

sam2eb said:


> What ifs can happen in 2 minutes though!
> 
> Do people honestly not let their toddlers out of their sight at all? Fair play if you don't but I know I do!

I know I let mine out of my sight occasionally. She nearly always comes back with something sharp. :/ No matter how well I think I've baby proofed stuff, she comes back with something sharp. Oy.


----------



## Pearls18

My biggest fear in that scenario is leaving snacks out for a 16 month old in case they choke, I know I wasn't leaving my eldest to eat alone at that point.

As someone who isnt a morning person I also find it lazy, for me I think you either teach them to stay in bed until a reasonable time or you get up when they do (at that age).


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## Bex84

my lo would not do 2 hrs in the morning independently, when shes up we are up. I wouldn't leave her like that anyway, its not only the risk they could put themselves in but also what if something like a fire happened, how would you know where your child was, or if electrical fault, they fell over etc... the list is long, I know my lo brushed past the cooker the other day and knocked the knob causing the hob to turn on and she hadent done that on purpose. My friends lo managed to unlock their front door while she was in bathroom and got to the road. My child can play independently but she is usually in same room as me. If I go to grab her a snack then I can still see her, I cant imagine sleeping in when child was awake, getting up early is part and parcel of having children


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## smileyfaces

Agree it is pure laziness. My boys both get up at 5.00-5.30am every.single.day and I could never even dream of just letting them fend for themselves for a few hours while i go back to bed?!


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## lindseymw

I'm quite jealous that those kids will happily play for 2 hours whilst Mum is in bed. As soon as Jacob is awake it's:-

I'm hungry
I've done a wee
I've done a poo
I want to get up

....at the top of his voice


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## Bex84

lindseymw said:


> I'm quite jealous that those kids will happily play for 2 hours whilst Mum is in bed. As soon as Jacob is awake it's:-
> 
> I'm hungry
> I've done a wee
> I've done a poo
> I want to get up
> 
> ....at the top of his voice

Haha this is my child, mummy I need a drink. Mummy I need a poo, mummy I'm hungry, mummy down, down (for down stairs) dh still doesent get why lo doesn't get your supposed to sleep in on weekend haha. I just tell him we get woken up by his alarm in week so he has to put up with it lol


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## lindseymw

^^ Yep I've tried to explain 'weekend sleep in' to the kids, they just look at me as though I have two heads.


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## Natsku

I'm on my summer holiday now and Maria got back from her dad's last night - this morning she slept in til about half ten :D


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## pinklightbulb

Eamon once pulled a carving knife out of the dish rack when I was only in the other room. It took him five seconds to do and I swear I aged 20 years in that time frame. Had I still been in bed (it was early in the morning) I don't like to think what could have happened.


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## Natasha2605

Midnight_Fairy said:


> Im not shocked at ability. I just think its lazy. Tbh!

Absolutely agree.

A childs right for attention trump my own desire to stay in bed... always.


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## AngelofTroy

Natsku said:


> I'm on my summer holiday now and Maria got back from her dad's last night - this morning she slept in til about half ten :D

I am soooooo jealous!!!!! ;-)


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## XJessicaX

I have realised I am far more laid back than I possibly should be in regards to watching my children. I'm currently drinking a coffee upstairs lounged on a bed with both kids fending for themselves downstairs. Mums need chill time too! I routinely let the kids have the run of the top floor while I catch an extra 30 mins snooze. Once got woken up by smallest toddler wielding the loo plunger (gross) but generally there isn't anything they can hurt themselves on.


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## Noodlebear

We do need chill time, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop looking after my son in the mornings to get it :wacko:


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## RaspberryK

Natsku said:


> I'm on my summer holiday now and Maria got back from her dad's last night - this morning she slept in til about half ten :D

So did we but only because ds had a late night on Sunday and didn't get to bed till 8.15 last night. 
In fact I was awake first to pee xx


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## Midnight_Fairy

My eldest 2 used to get up early. Now they are 8 and 10 and I cant get the lazy buggers out of bed lol they wont be waking us up early forever! I just get on with it :s


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## Cariad_x

I just find it incredibly lazy. I also worry about how the children must feel - surely there must be an element where they feel slightly abandoned? My LO is only 3 months younger and enjoys independent play but if I leave the room for 10 minutes the world is ending!


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## Natsku

Maria is often playing out of my sight, she shuts the door of her room herself! And she's sometimes out of sight when she plays outside with the neighbour kids but there's usually at least one mum sat outside somewhere keeping an eye on things.


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## overcomer79

wow I have plenty of times. Her room is the safest place in the house (yes I've had the door closed). She has her stuffed animals and a bed and a dresser that I can't even budge. I put her in there at nap time. She doesn't have toys in her room that I would consider a choking hazard. Different folks different strokes.


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## pinklightbulb

Eamon and Liam routinely wake about half an hour before I do and will often play in their room if my alarm doesn't get me up before them (I have the back room in a five-bedroom house and am unfortunately furthest from them due to the setup we have had to have). But SIL is always awake with Niece then and so I know that they aren't totally unsupervised. I don't know how I would feel about letting them roam, even though they would likely just put the TV onto Disney Junior and get into the pantry to find all the chocolate!


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## Menelly

There seem to be two different questions here, the 16 month old alone in her room for an hour, and the other mom who lets her kids get up 2 hours before she does.

For the 16 month old? If she's having fun, and her room is baby proofed, and everything is nailed to the wall so she can't pull it onto herself, what's the difference between that, and say putting her down for a nap? My toddler was in a toddler bed when she was that little, and she'd get out and play and there was little I could do to stop her. /shrug. I don't see much of a difference.

However, letting your kids wander the house for 2 hours (and I refuse to believe the entire house is toddler proof) just seems lazy to me. I hate waking up at the butt crack of dawn with the best of them, but that's what we do when our kids wake up. Because there's always a drawer full of knives and a way into the trash can.


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## overcomer79

Menelly said:


> There seem to be two different questions here, the 16 month old alone in her room for an hour, and the other mom who lets her kids get up 2 hours before she does.
> 
> For the 16 month old? If she's having fun, and her room is baby proofed, and everything is nailed to the wall so she can't pull it onto herself, what's the difference between that, and say putting her down for a nap? My toddler was in a toddler bed when she was that little, and she'd get out and play and there was little I could do to stop her. /shrug. I don't see much of a difference.
> 
> However, letting your kids wander the house for 2 hours (and I refuse to believe the entire house is toddler proof) just seems lazy to me. I hate waking up at the butt crack of dawn with the best of them, but that's what we do when our kids wake up. Because there's always a drawer full of knives and a way into the trash can.

I'm glad you pointed out the difference. I posted before reading the entire thread. We now use a stairgate in dd's door for none other reason than she is pulling her diaper off so we like to monitor that activity. When my kids wake, we get up. We are currently trying to teach my four year old that he shouldn't/doesn't get out of bed until 8am on the weekends. He will get up at 5:30 and wake the entire house up even dd who likes to sleep until 7:30. My four year old also refuses to take a nap so it makes for a very long day so we have no problem with making him stay in bed.


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## OliveLove

Sometimes I'll let my son wander around the closed room (we co-sleep and share the bedroom) while I close my eyes for a couple of minutes, but I freak out and open them every 30 seconds probably to see what hes doing. He's usually just playing with his toys and I get out of bed within the next 15 minutes. I still feel bad about that!


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## sparkle_1979

Seity said:


> People seem rather shocked by my son's ability to not get into trouble at a young age. I'm not. I've encouraged both my boys to play independently on their own during the day, so that we can do whatever household tasks need doing. When he wakes, I change his diaper and put out a sippy of milk and some snacks for him. He munches on those and plays with his toys same as if I was awake. If he needs me, he comes into the bedroom and wakes me. When my four year old wakes, he gets his drink out of the fridge. He'll then generally turn on one of his Netflix shows. The bathroom doors are closed and the little one can't climb up on anything. I think the cats get up to more mischief at night.

You're lazy, get up and look after your kid for goodness sake. He could choke or anything ... He's 16 mths not bloody 16:dohh:

This is not independent play it's about you being too lazy to get out of bed


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## sbl

Look fair enough we all have different ideas about parenting but that's just wrong. 
When we become parents we officially give up our lye ins or at least most of us do. 
I wouldn't dare leave my lo to wander round the house because simply sh*t happens fast when you've got a toddler.
One minute their playing happily next their climbing out the window. This happened to my friend while she was in the bathroom.she only knew cause the other twin shouted mommy la gone!!
Two minutes that's all it takes.
We're not perfect we make mistakes but to me this is playing with fire....repeatedly. 
Just because nothing has happened up until now doesn't mean that will always be the case.


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## AnneD

Natasha2605 said:


> A childs right for attention trump my own desire to stay in bed... always.

I think this is really relevant and well put. The only thing I would add is that the child also has the right to be safe and it's the parents' duty to make sure the child is not endangered through lack of supervision and monitoring. You can't expect a toddler to look at the world through your eyes.


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## shanny

OP - fine with unsupervised room time with a stairgate have done and will do again

Other mum - ???


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## HKateH

I don't get it. My 14 month old is incapable of _not_ getting into trouble. My house would be an absolute tip if he helped himself to snacks - he can't eat a biscuit without smearing it on EVERYTHING! Can't imagine what changes between now and 16 months... Also: stairs; plugs; wires; random sharp objects... The only place I'm happy my LO is safe is in front of me or in his cot!


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## shanny

Seity said:


> People seem rather shocked by my son's ability to not get into trouble at a young age. I'm not.
> 
> People are not shocked by their independence and ability to not get into trouble - they are shocked by you not getting UP
> 
> I've encouraged both my boys to play independently on their own during the day, so that we can do whatever household tasks need doing.
> 
> Ditto this - DURING THE DAY when we are around
> 
> BIG DIFFERENCE


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## Mysunshine

I think it's okay to let your LO play alone as long as you have a video monitor. I do it sometimes but my kid would not play alone for a long! He wants to help mommy :)


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