# Sharing a wall, planning a homebirth. Do we warn the neighbours?



## HopefulEm

Hi all. We live in a semi-detached house, and I've decided I really want to have a home birth this go around. 

We never hear our neighbours, and I don't know if it's because they're just really quite, not there often, or if the concrete wall is really that sound proof. We don't know them that well either, with just the occasional hello and short introduction. 

During my last labour at the birthing centre I did vocalize quite loudly, and I don't know if I'll feel the urge to do the same with this one or not. 

So, do we go knocking on their door when I finally get to third tri to give them the heads up? It's quite the uncomfortable topic to bring up especially with strangers. I'm kind of tempted to say wait until I go into labour and only if I'm making a lot of noise have my husband go knock on their door. Then again, maybe not if it's the middle of the night?

Any others currently in or been in a similar situation? What did/will you do?


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## lesleyann

Just drop it in coversation if you normally talk to them, we warned one side of us but she didn't hear a thing and was shocked to find out the baby had been born already.


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## tallybee

I agree with pp. I mentioned to next door while in conversation that we were planning hb.. I just made light of it "if you hear anything disturbing apologies in advance ha ha" type thing


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## MindUtopia

We lived in a semi-detached cottage, though a very old one with very thick stone walls, when we had our daughter. We didn't tell the neighbours....and they were our landlords! We never heard them and the walls were really thick so I didn't think there was really any chance they'd hear me. I planned to labour in the lounge, but actually ended up in the bedroom, both of which are on the opposite freestanding side of the house anyway. I think if you happen to have a conversation with them, you could always just mention that you hope they don't here you when the time comes to have baby! I don't think you necessarily have to explain the whole home birth thing as you could just be in labour at home, and it's a bit less of an awkward conversation that invites comment. But I don't think you really need to tell them if it's never a good time.


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## HopefulEm

The problem is we basically never talk to them. I might see one of them and go "hi, nice day! Good day to be in the garden." But that's hardly enough of a conversation to bring up childbirth...maybe when I become more obviously pregnant the conversation will go there and I can slip it in.


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## tallybee

Ah I can see why that might be awkward then. It wasn't so bad for me as we talk to next door in passing, they have young kids. I think you're right to leave it til you're obviously looking bigger x


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## MummyToAmberx

I live in a semi and dont feel i need to tell them my birthing plans. 
I see it as they dont need to inform me if they have a party.


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## PugLuvAh

I'd say something, not because I think you have to, but because if I heard moaning/yelling coming from my neighbours that I didn't know very well, I would be concerned there was something wrong and might call the police or an ambulance depending on what I heard.

If you don't want to talk in person, maybe write them a card and stick it in their door? I probably wouldn't do it till I was 8 months along or so...Just let them know you are planning a home birth and wanted to warn them it could get noisy based on previous experience. Give them your due date with "apologies" in advance. :)


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## BunnyN

The note is a good idea if you feel the need to say some thing. We share a wall and our neighbours don't know we had a home birth. They are elderly and don't have great hearing though. We chat quite a lot with them but I didn't really feel like anyone who didn't need to know our birth plans. I figured if they were worried the'd knock on the door and OH could just say I was in labour. It is normal to spend the beggining of labour at home even if you are planning a hospital birth.


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## Misscalais

I would tell them.
Im loud in labour lol


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## tallybee

PugLuvAh said:


> I'd say something, not because I think you have to, but because if I heard moaning/yelling coming from my neighbours that I didn't know very well, I would be concerned there was something wrong and might call the police or an ambulance depending on what I heard.
> 
> If you don't want to talk in person, maybe write them a card and stick it in their door? I probably wouldn't do it till I was 8 months along or so...Just let them know you are planning a home birth and wanted to warn them it could get noisy based on previous experience. Give them your due date with "apologies" in advance. :)

See that's what I was thinking. The last thing we need in the middle of labour is flashing blue lights arriving and messing the atmosphere up lol.


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## KandyKinz

I wouldn't bother telling the neighbours, personally.


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## mrssat

I didn't tell mine. It's a private thing you are doing in your house IMHO. They've seen your bump I'm sure they will put 2 & 2 together. If they get concerned & knock or anything I'm sure the mw or your oh won't mind explaining then. That's what I'd do esp if you don't talk to them. 
Hope it all goes well x


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## hanni

I can see why you would want to tell them. I'd probably be concerned if I heard my neighbour screaming. 
I'd probably just send hubby round once you're in labour.


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## Button#

I have really thin walls and my neighbours had no idea when I was in labour. I had already told one side I was having a home birth but only because she worked at my doctors and she sent through some paperwork to the home birth team. She was very excited and promised to be on standby with a boiling kettle and some towels!


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