# Anyone do 50/50



## topsy

I am now a single mum. Fob couldn't cope with my mh anymore ( serve mh problems been hospitalized 9 times in the last few years since I had ds) I hear voices that sat horrible things about me and ds-they told me they wanted me to drain mine and his blood. I told fob ( shat the time) and he split up with me to protect our son. I have NEVER hurt him ss have been involved and he's been a child in needs because of my needs but NEVER a child at risk. He knows I hear voices but that's it. I he alway gone in hospital informally nevery been sectioned alway done what the psychatrist said.

So we split up March while I was in a psychatric hospital. April I moved into a mental health unit ( a step down from hospital) where I am going to be till July. 

I see ds mon tues thur and fri when school finishes I pick him up and have him till 6.30 pm sun 10 till 6pm ( bedtime is supposed to be 7pm) fob has him all other time.

Once I come out mh until I hope to have him every week day from school finished till 6 and sun.

Asy mh is ALWAYS worse at night I hsve said until next march I won't ask for him overnight ( other than my birthday when fob is staying over too so I can see ds as we are on holiday in a caravan) but after March 2018 where do I stand on having him? 

Obviously my names on the birth certificate so do I have 50/50 parents right? If I go downhill and am poorly again I will rethink BUT Trying to be postive where do I stand? Would I be allowed him 2 1/2 days a week.

I should say I am buying the house of fob ( with my parents help) so his room will still be there and this is where he will play after school mostly. I bought his bedroom furniture so I am keeping it we are going to half the toys.

Ds is a great dad to ds he loves him whole heartly. He has said he would take me to court to stop me seeing ds. Would he be able to because of my mh? 

Anyone know? Xxxx


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## luci and bump

FOB and I split when DD was 10 months old. For a while he only saw DD one day a week, because he was living on a friends sofa (he let me stay on in the house we rented) since he's had his own home, we have split childcare. He picks DD up from school thursday, and she comes home saturday evening. One weekend a month she comes home sunday lunch time (my OH is away at uni, so it means that week I can get the bus homw sunday morning instead of Saturday morning and get an extra day with him) his fiance also picks her up from school on a monday, until 6pm, while I'm in work. So its almost 50/50 although she spends more nights with me.
In relation to your mh, when we split, FOB became convinced I had bi-polar, and threatened to take DD from me. I have mental health issues, but they have never affected my ability to care for my daughter. There is an amazing charity called gingerbread who work with single parents, they can offer legal advice on pretty much any issues. They advised me that unless I was proven to be an unfit mother, FOB could not keep DD away from me, and if he did take it to court, they would have a dim view on him using my mental health against me, especially as I had been seeking help for it.
I know it's easier said than done, but please try not to worry. You are doing all thr right things, you have sought help and you are doing what is best for you and for your son. I hope that reassures you a little! If ever you want to talk, feel free to message me :flower:


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