# Is it ok to ttc while recieving benefits?



## JadeBaby75

The reason I ask is because my boy friend has baby fever!! Trying not to let it rub off on me but he is persistent. Lol. Just wondering if it would be terribly irresponsible?

Edit: This is not to say I'm trying or even want to. Guess I'm just trying to understand his pov!


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## sg0720

My opinion on that would be as long as you can afford to care for the baby then i would think it is okay


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## Bexxx

I don't think it's a terribly good idea...
I just see benefits as a 'just in case' and something to fall back on.


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## EllaAndLyla

Personally I wouldn't unless I felt stable enough but then again whatever happens, happens xx


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## tasha41

Same as the above really, I wouldn't go about trying for a baby if I was on gov't assistance, unless I had some underlying health issue that would make it difficult for me to get pregnant or I was in some kind of time crunch for health reasons (my friend wasn't on benefits but had to have her 2nd early than she would have because she has ovarian cancer, had one left and is having the other out this year)... just because I think if you are on assistance and you add another baby and those expenses into the mix, it is just going to be that much more difficult to get work and support yourself?


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## JadeBaby75

I echo what all of u r saying! Thanks for the replies!!!. Just wondering why that fact doesn't seem to matter to him?


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## Natasha2605

If you rely solely or majoritively on benefits then imo no it's not okay. jmo


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## Melibu90

Personally i wouldnt say so though it depends, if you know you will be off them before the new baby then its easier but i think it will just add to a struggle if you rely on them completely
:flower:


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## rockys-mumma

Not wise IMO. There are obviously exceptions but then again if you are on benefits but DO intend to work or have fell out of work then I guess it's not so bad. Or have a long term plan such as waiting to finish a course or something. Unlike my neighbours. Who have 3 under 4 and neither work nor intend to, their flat is a squat and all they do is scream and shout at the kids and eachother and leve their kids to cry or shut them out. They have admitted they don't intend on working as it's 'not worth their while'. 

People ttc on benefits like those shouldn't even consider it.

Im on about people on full benefits btw who rely on them completely


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## MrsEngland

In my opinion you should be able to support a baby financially before you start TTC, it kinda bugs me that people can bring up their kids totally on benefits when my hubby works a silly amount of hours and yet so much of his wage goes on tax which pays for other people not to work.
Having said i think there is a time when benefits are needed and i know that i can't generalize, but yeh i think if your gunna ttc you should be financially stable and only use benefits as a last resort (if u lose a job etc).

Edit- i mean people who totally rely on benefits not people who work and receive some benefits too, we get child tax credits.


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## QuintinsMommy

I dont think I would ttc on benefits


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## Desi's_lost

I think it depends. if one or both of you are working and trying and even then you just cant make ends meet, thats one thing. Wouldnt quite be fair to say you could only have one child ever just because you cant find a higher paying job. times are really really tough!

If neither are employed, not even trying to make a living then abso not ok.

Assuming you could wait, that would be the ideal choice though.

And though i'm using the word you, its just the tense i'm writing in. i dont actually mean anyone. :haha:


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## AriannasMama

Nope.


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## x__amour

I wouldn't personally.


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## amygwen

No I don't think it's ok.


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## holly2234

I think it depends on the circumstance. 
In the end, your family will be around a lot longer than you will be in one particular job or on benefits for whatever reason.
I dont think its ok when people dont intend to work but for those that are looking and really struggling to find anything, then i dont think they should put off their family plans.

I have family plans but work just isnt happening. (not ttc or anything though) My DH applies for EVERYTHING he is qualified for or can get to from where we live and we have had no interviews at all. Something will come along eventually but i dont know how much longer this will go on and its not a nice place to be in as im sure many others can appreciate. So i wouldnt deny somebody their family just because theyre unemployed.

Kind of why it makes me a bit mad that people complain they pay all their taxes to people on the dole. Nobody is thinking how we feel when every job we go for, we get rejected or completely ignored. Some of us would give anything to be in the shoes of those paying the taxes!


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## AriannasMama

I think its totally wrong. If you rely on benefits to live then no you should not be actively TTC at all, benefits are for people who are on hard times, not for you to live on, nothing in life is free, children definitely aren't free and while I do get state insurance, I also work and I wouldn't want to be paying taxes to someone who is irresponsibly TTC and living off the government when they could be working.


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## aimee_1691

yeah why not??? its the taxpayers money....WHO CARES???


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## aimee_1691

i was being sarcastic BTW


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## MrsBandEgglet

Currently pregnant with my third and both me and my husband work and quite frankly I'm scared s**tless!!! So I would say ttc when you're financially unstable enough to not have a wage coming in isn't a good idea. Perhaps wait a while til you are more on your feet and can do your absolute best to support your family because it's the long term situation that is the scariest part IMO. I'm already worrying about pocket money, school trips, costly hobbies and with THREE kids I reckon OH and I are just gonna constantly have our hand in our pocket. Doing that solely on benefits probably just wouldn't be possible.


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## 17thy

Um, no.


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## 10.11.12

Personally I wouldn't. You are still young and you have plenty of time to have another baby.


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## Desi's_lost

aimee_1691 said:


> yeah why not??? its the taxpayers money....WHO CARES???

Dont think there is any reason to be sarcastic.

Like others have posted, its not fair to put off plans just because you cant get a job at that moment. Something will come along eventually! And then the situation will change and the person wont have to be reliant on it anymore.


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## emyandpotato

I don't think it's particularly fair as in the UK we're generally pretty well supported if we need it and it would be taking advantage of a good system. I'd wait until you had some independent means of supporting yourselves. Is your OH looking for work? I'd quite like another within a few years but know that we just won't be able to afford it and got an implant fitted to make sure it doesn't happen. It sucks but it'd be irresponsible just to expect to be supported continually. 

That said there are of course circumstances where it's understandable like some mentioned above, and, for instance, if you're in your thirties or so and on benefits due to having lost a job or something and feel that you'll never be entirely financially independent. In cases like that I don't think it's fair to just say well don't have kids.


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## we can't wait

I guess it would depend on what benefits you are recieving, and how much you directly depend on them, iykwim?

If having another child would make life even more of a struggle, I'd say wait. I think it's important to not solely rely on benefits.


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## yikesitsmindy

Desi's_lost said:


> aimee_1691 said:
> 
> 
> yeah why not??? its the taxpayers money....WHO CARES???
> 
> Dont think there is any reason to be sarcastic.
> 
> Like others have posted, its not fair to put off plans just because you cant get a job at that moment. Something will come along eventually! And then the situation will change and the person wont have to be reliant on it anymore.Click to expand...

This is just going to turn into an argument, but here I go anyway...

I think this is a totally crazy view point. I cant imagine ttc and relying on other people to support myself and m children. You have a child you can't support, so why would you try to create more? How old is your SO? He doesn't sound very mature if he is ever considering another baby he cant support.


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## Desi's_lost

Doesnt need to be an argument. :thumbup: people can disagree without getting angry.

this is all hypothetical but what if two people are both working, but they are only qualified for minimum wage jobs/there is nothing else out there that they get chosen for. Should they not to allowed to have children just because their wages cant afford to support a child? Does anyone truly have the right to tell them 'too bad, you're poor. no children for you'? 
I dont know that much about the UK system so maybe that isnt possible there, but it is VERY possible here in the US.


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## 10.11.12

Desi's_lost said:


> Doesnt need to be an argument. :thumbup: people can disagree without getting angry.
> 
> this is all hypothetical but what if two people are both working, but they are only qualified for minimum wage jobs/there is nothing else out there that they get chosen for. Should they not to allowed to have children just because their wages cant afford to support a child? Does anyone truly have the right to tell them 'too bad, you're poor. no children for you'?
> I dont know that much about the UK system so maybe that isnt possible there, but it is VERY possible here in the US.

No one has that right but as a conscious decision yes I think it's wrong. The key words are "can't afford to support a child".


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## Desi's_lost

10.11.12 said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> Doesnt need to be an argument. :thumbup: people can disagree without getting angry.
> 
> this is all hypothetical but what if two people are both working, but they are only qualified for minimum wage jobs/there is nothing else out there that they get chosen for. Should they not to allowed to have children just because their wages cant afford to support a child? Does anyone truly have the right to tell them 'too bad, you're poor. no children for you'?
> I dont know that much about the UK system so maybe that isnt possible there, but it is VERY possible here in the US.
> 
> No one has that right but as a conscious decision yes I think it's wrong. The key words are "can't afford to support a child".Click to expand...

If you were in that situation though, would you choose not to have children at all because you couldnt afford them on your own, even though you worked hard to try and support yourself?


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## 10.11.12

Desi's_lost said:


> 10.11.12 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> Doesnt need to be an argument. :thumbup: people can disagree without getting angry.
> 
> this is all hypothetical but what if two people are both working, but they are only qualified for minimum wage jobs/there is nothing else out there that they get chosen for. Should they not to allowed to have children just because their wages cant afford to support a child? Does anyone truly have the right to tell them 'too bad, you're poor. no children for you'?
> I dont know that much about the UK system so maybe that isnt possible there, but it is VERY possible here in the US.
> 
> No one has that right but as a conscious decision yes I think it's wrong. The key words are "can't afford to support a child".Click to expand...
> 
> If you were in that situation though, would you choose not to have children at all because you couldnt afford them on your own, even though you worked hard to try and support yourself?Click to expand...

It would depend on the situation, there isn't enough background info to make a decision. Do I have debt? do I make enough to cover my rent? if it's going without some luxuries than maybe but otherwise no I wouldn't.


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## Desi's_lost

xD now you're getting a too complex for my sleepy brain. But i think we agree on the base point that each situation would look slightly different depending on all the intimate particulars.


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## mayb_baby

If you and you'r partner cannot support another child without benefits then no! IMO:shrug:


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## youngmummy94

IMO, no.


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## we can't wait

Desi's_lost said:


> Doesnt need to be an argument. :thumbup: people can disagree without getting angry.
> 
> this is all hypothetical but what if two people are both working, but they are only qualified for minimum wage jobs/there is nothing else out there that they get chosen for. Should they not to allowed to have children just because their wages cant afford to support a child? Does anyone truly have the right to tell them 'too bad, you're poor. no children for you'?
> I dont know that much about the UK system so maybe that isnt possible there, but it is VERY possible here in the US.

I heard on the news not too long ago that if you are making only minimum wage (in the US), you are actually_ below _the poverty level. Insane! :nope:


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## mayb_baby

we can't wait said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> Doesnt need to be an argument. :thumbup: people can disagree without getting angry.
> 
> this is all hypothetical but what if two people are both working, but they are only qualified for minimum wage jobs/there is nothing else out there that they get chosen for. Should they not to allowed to have children just because their wages cant afford to support a child? Does anyone truly have the right to tell them 'too bad, you're poor. no children for you'?
> I dont know that much about the UK system so maybe that isnt possible there, but it is VERY possible here in the US.
> 
> I heard on the news not too long ago that if you are making only minimum wage (in the US), you are actually_ below _the poverty level. Insane! :nope:Click to expand...

Think it's the same in the uk


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## Desi's_lost

I've heard that too. Min wage in my state is 8.25 and hour. that times 40 hours a week is 330 which is then 1320 a month. You'd only be making 15,840 dollars a year, before taxes of course. So even if you and you're partner are working min wage, you're still just above 30k a year, before taxs...thats not much! Thats the only reason I was trying to give the example i was. Cos it could very well be the reality for people.


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## kittycat18

No. Sorry gorgeous :hugs2:


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## we can't wait

Desi's_lost said:


> I've heard that too. Min wage in my state is 8.25 and hour. that times 40 hours a week is 330 which is then 1320 a month. You'd only be making 15,840 dollars a year, before taxes of course. So even if you and you're partner are working min wage, you're still just above 30k a year, before taxs...thats not much! Thats the only reason I was trying to give the example i was. Cos it could very well be the reality for people.

I was agreeing (sorry, my post didn't seem like it). Jobs can be hard to come by in the US, and even with a job you could still be below the poverty level... so I can see why some people would still have a child, even on benefits. Not that it makes it _right_, but it doesn't make it wrong either, iykwim? 

I don't know. I feel like it depends on the situation. I would like to give a cookie cutter answer and just say "No!", but that doesn't really seem fair.


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## Desi's_lost

Oooo i knew you were agreeing :flower: . I just wanted to elaborate it so that people who may not of known could see it broken down, kwim?

I think this is one of those no simple/right answer things as well as its a moral question.


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## emyandpotato

Desi's_lost said:


> Doesnt need to be an argument. :thumbup: people can disagree without getting angry.
> 
> this is all hypothetical but what if two people are both working, but they are only qualified for minimum wage jobs/there is nothing else out there that they get chosen for. Should they not to allowed to have children just because their wages cant afford to support a child? Does anyone truly have the right to tell them 'too bad, you're poor. no children for you'?
> I dont know that much about the UK system so maybe that isnt possible there, but it is VERY possible here in the US.

I think that people should make the best of their lives and try to better themselves as far as possible and be financially independent as far as is possible but it is not entirely possible for most people and I think it is absolutely unfair to suggest that 'poor' people should be denied a family. It would never happen anyway and if poor people were denied benefits of any sort then it would revert back to Victorian Britain before the reforms where the poverty was awful. It is not so much people who are poor taking tax money but more a sharing of wealth in what I think is in most cases very fair. Many people who profess to pay money for people to 'live off of benefits' would happily accept help if they became unemployed. 

I wonder if people who think you shouldn't have children if you can't afford them without benefits also think that you should not have IVF unless you can pay for it yourself? The principles are very similar.


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## Natasha2605

emyandpotato said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> Doesnt need to be an argument. :thumbup: people can disagree without getting angry.
> 
> this is all hypothetical but what if two people are both working, but they are only qualified for minimum wage jobs/there is nothing else out there that they get chosen for. Should they not to allowed to have children just because their wages cant afford to support a child? Does anyone truly have the right to tell them 'too bad, you're poor. no children for you'?
> I dont know that much about the UK system so maybe that isnt possible there, but it is VERY possible here in the US.
> 
> I think that people should make the best of their lives and try to better themselves as far as possible and be financially independent as far as is possible but it is not entirely possible for most people and I think it is absolutely unfair to suggest that 'poor' people should be denied a family. It would never happen anyway and if poor people were denied benefits of any sort then it would revert back to Victorian Britain before the reforms where the poverty was awful. It is not so much people who are poor taking tax money but more a sharing of wealth in what I think is in most cases very fair. Many people who profess to pay money for people to 'live off of benefits' would happily accept help if they became unemployed.
> 
> I wonder if people who think you shouldn't have children if you can't afford them without benefits also think that you should not have IVF unless you can pay for it yourself? The principles are very similar.Click to expand...

I think that's completely different. There are people who _need_ to have IVF because for some reason or another their body can't physically concieve. They don't choose to be unable to naturally have children and imo they deserve the help. If your just gonna concieve children that you can't really afford in the first place then I don't think you deserve the help. :shrug: 

It's completely different if you were working then lost your job. Of course you'd have to apply for benefits because at the end of the day you need to live. And I can say that I wouldn't ''happily'' accept the help because tbh I'd rather earn my own money through employment but if needs must then every parent would accept benefits to keep their children fed and clothed. Of course they would.

There's a difference in my opinion between a family who work in low paid jobs which are topped up by benefits and those who don't work at all who solely survive on benefits TTC. The first is acceptable. They are trying and putting into the system. The latter are not and imo should not TTC. A lot of it comes down to morals at the end of the day, and personally I couldn't be happy TTC another child if I knew that we had no jobs and our only income came from the government. Morally, it's wrong.


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## emyandpotato

Natasha2605 said:


> emyandpotato said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> Doesnt need to be an argument. :thumbup: people can disagree without getting angry.
> 
> this is all hypothetical but what if two people are both working, but they are only qualified for minimum wage jobs/there is nothing else out there that they get chosen for. Should they not to allowed to have children just because their wages cant afford to support a child? Does anyone truly have the right to tell them 'too bad, you're poor. no children for you'?
> I dont know that much about the UK system so maybe that isnt possible there, but it is VERY possible here in the US.
> 
> I think that people should make the best of their lives and try to better themselves as far as possible and be financially independent as far as is possible but it is not entirely possible for most people and I think it is absolutely unfair to suggest that 'poor' people should be denied a family. It would never happen anyway and if poor people were denied benefits of any sort then it would revert back to Victorian Britain before the reforms where the poverty was awful. It is not so much people who are poor taking tax money but more a sharing of wealth in what I think is in most cases very fair. Many people who profess to pay money for people to 'live off of benefits' would happily accept help if they became unemployed.
> 
> I wonder if people who think you shouldn't have children if you can't afford them without benefits also think that you should not have IVF unless you can pay for it yourself? The principles are very similar.Click to expand...
> 
> I think that's completely different. There are people who _need_ to have IVF because for some reason or another their body can't physically concieve. They don't choose to be unable to naturally have children and imo they deserve the help. If your just gonna concieve children that you can't really afford in the first place then I don't think you deserve the help. :shrug:
> 
> It's completely different if you were working then lost your job. Of course you'd have to apply for benefits because at the end of the day you need to live. And I can say that I wouldn't ''happily'' accept the help because tbh I'd rather earn my own money through employment but if needs must then every parent would accept benefits to keep their children fed and clothed. Of course they would.
> 
> There's a difference in my opinion between a family who work in low paid jobs which are topped up by benefits and those who don't work at all who solely survive on benefits TTC. The first is acceptable. They are trying and putting into the system. The latter are not and imo should not TTC. A lot of it comes down to morals at the end of the day, and personally I couldn't be happy TTC another child if I knew that we had no jobs and our only income came from the government. Morally, it's wrong.Click to expand...

I didn't mean people who have children knowing that they have no means of supporting them and are happily to live on benefits forever, I mean people who perhaps are older and have waited a long time to have children, who have struggled to earn a living all their lives and still make little money, people who would need benefits to bring them and their potential children out of poverty. It is these cases where I think it would be unfair to say they can't have children cos they're poor. 

And it is similar to the IVF situation as the hypothetical situation I mentioned above concerns people who have tried and failed to make a better life for themselves. It happens to many people and with the way a lot of jobs pay/taxes/rent/house prices it often can't be helped. It's why we have benefits in the first place. Anyway in these situations it is people who have tried to earn a substantial living for a long time and failed, and so are offered help. In the same way that people offered IVF try for a baby for a long time and fail. Neither can afford to help themselves, and both are considerably costly for the tax payer. Why is it that one is completely acceptable and the other is continually slated?


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## Amber4

For UK girls - A lot of you think it's wrong to TTC while on benefits (I do too) My OH works full time and I will be looking for a job as soon as I've had the baby. I know we have a great benefit system in place in the UK. However, it makes it worse for people that actually get up and go to work! (Not trying to discriminate against anyone that claims benefits btw!) If me and OH didn't work then we could claim JSA/Income Support, Child Tax Credits, Child Benefit, Housing Benefit and Council Tax benefit. We'd have everything we needed paid for. But when you work you have to pay out for all that yourself (I know you get it topped up) It's really frustrating working 40 hours + a week and not gaining much out of it. If I didn't think it was wrong to take advantage of the system then I'd honestly have OH quit his job and I wouldn't get one. He'd be able to spend more time with his daughter and if we had more children then time with them, instead of working for hardly anything more than we could get on benefits. 

I know that sounds terrible, but it's true. I see why a lot of people don't work now and choose to be on benefits. I think the benefit system should help the people that work and make it harder for people that can work but choose not to. (Again I don't mean any offense to anyone that does claim benefits!) Just my opinion.


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## feeble

how about a case where you have a young child, you recieve benefits (or top-ups) and you want a family, if you have another child quickly you will effectively be out of work for less time because they will go to school within a shorter timeframe. 

If you wait you are really just prolonging the time you will need benefits (or top-ups) 

its a bit of an ethical minefield and really up to the indivdual, but as a family on top-up tax credits, we would rather have our children close together, both because i think the family dynamic is better that way, but also because in the long term it makes more financial sense.


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## Natasha2605

Amber4 said:


> For UK girls - A lot of you think it's wrong to TTC while on benefits (I do too) My OH works full time and I will be looking for a job as soon as I've had the baby. I know we have a great benefit system in place in the UK. However, it makes it worse for people that actually get up and go to work! (Not trying to discriminate against anyone that claims benefits btw!) If me and OH didn't work then we could claim JSA/Income Support, Child Tax Credits, Child Benefit, Housing Benefit and Council Tax benefit. We'd have everything we needed paided for. But when you work you have to pay out for all that yourself (I know you get it topped up) It's really frustrating working 40 hours + a week and not gaining much out of it. If I didn't think it was wrong to take advantage of the system then I'd honestly have OH quit his job and I wouldn't get one. He'd be able to spend more time with his daughter and if we had more children then time with them, instead of working for hardly anything more than we could get on benefits.
> 
> I know that sounds terrible, but it's true. I see why a lot of people don't work now and choose to be on benefits. I think the benefit system should help the people that work and make it harder for people that can work but choose not to. (Again I don't mean any offense to anyone that does claim benefits!) Just my opinion.

Yeah I agree and this is where I think it comes down to morals. If I didn't morally believe it's wrong to do this and choose to live like this then I guess I'd do it too. Hell it breaks my heart when my OH goes back to work after his one day off a week and Summer gets so upset and clings to him cause she just wants to have fun with daddy. He works between 50 up to 60 hours per week because he wants to provide for our family (im on mat leave) and after tax walks away with a relatively shitty £1078 per month. We'd be SO much better off on benefits but I couldn't do it willfully because I believe it's wrong. The system is there for people that need it , not those that choose it. Or it should be anyway.

Emmy I haven't ignored your post, just need to re read it to make sure I'm not gonna misunderstand it haha!


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## 17thy

Amber4 said:


> For UK girls - A lot of you think it's wrong to TTC while on benefits (I do too) My OH works full time and I will be looking for a job as soon as I've had the baby. I know we have a great benefit system in place in the UK. However, it makes it worse for people that actually get up and go to work! (Not trying to discriminate against anyone that claims benefits btw!) If me and OH didn't work then we could claim JSA/Income Support, Child Tax Credits, Child Benefit, Housing Benefit and Council Tax benefit. We'd have everything we needed paid for. But when you work you have to pay out for all that yourself (I know you get it topped up) It's really frustrating working 40 hours + a week and not gaining much out of it. If I didn't think it was wrong to take advantage of the system then I'd honestly have OH quit his job and I wouldn't get one. He'd be able to spend more time with his daughter and if we had more children then time with them, instead of working for hardly anything more than we could get on benefits.
> 
> I know that sounds terrible, but it's true. I see why a lot of people don't work now and choose to be on benefits. I think the benefit system should help the people that work and make it harder for people that can work but choose not to. (Again I don't mean any offense to anyone that does claim benefits!) Just my opinion.

I completely agree with this. Yeah, everyone wishes they could sit around and get paid for free rather than bust their ass and never see their OH or children or be barely scraping by. Of course it would be easier to just get benefits and sit around and not try. And people do it! And you know what, IT'S NOT FUCKIN FAIR. It is NOTTTTTT fair to the people who could just do that but decide to work their ass off instead because its the right thing to do. We make $14K a year, and we do need benefits they would make our lives SO much easier if I went and applied for everything I possibly could (and I know for a fact we would get approved for all of them) but we don't. I would only exercise getting benefits if I was literally unable to get support from elsewhere. If both me and dh were COMPLETELY unable to get jobs for some reason, if we couldn't get help from family, then I'd get on the system (meaning welfare, government money cards, and the dozens of other programs). Food stamps and WIC is more understandable, but still even then I wouldn't want to actively try for another child if I couldn't afford to buy our food! Until we are at our breaking point we aren't gonna get all our income and support from the government because I just don't think it is fair for us to do that.


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## Amber4

Natasha2605 said:


> Amber4 said:
> 
> 
> For UK girls - A lot of you think it's wrong to TTC while on benefits (I do too) My OH works full time and I will be looking for a job as soon as I've had the baby. I know we have a great benefit system in place in the UK. However, it makes it worse for people that actually get up and go to work! (Not trying to discriminate against anyone that claims benefits btw!) If me and OH didn't work then we could claim JSA/Income Support, Child Tax Credits, Child Benefit, Housing Benefit and Council Tax benefit. We'd have everything we needed paided for. But when you work you have to pay out for all that yourself (I know you get it topped up) It's really frustrating working 40 hours + a week and not gaining much out of it. If I didn't think it was wrong to take advantage of the system then I'd honestly have OH quit his job and I wouldn't get one. He'd be able to spend more time with his daughter and if we had more children then time with them, instead of working for hardly anything more than we could get on benefits.
> 
> I know that sounds terrible, but it's true. I see why a lot of people don't work now and choose to be on benefits. I think the benefit system should help the people that work and make it harder for people that can work but choose not to. (Again I don't mean any offense to anyone that does claim benefits!) Just my opinion.
> 
> Yeah I agree and this is where I think it comes down to morals. If I didn't morally believe it's wrong to do this and choose to live like this then I guess I'd do it too. *Hell it breaks my heart when my OH goes back to work after his one day off a week and Summer gets so upset and clings to him cause she just wants to have fun with daddy.* He works between 50 up to 60 hours per week because he wants to provide for our family (im on mat leave) and after tax walks away with a relatively shitty £1078 per month. We'd be SO much better off on benefits but I couldn't do it willfully because I believe it's wrong. The system is there for people that need it , not those that choose it. Or it should be anyway.
> 
> Emmy I haven't ignored your post, just need to re read it to make sure I'm not gonna misunderstand it haha!Click to expand...

Aww :nope: I dread this too. :cry: My hormones are being crappy at the moment, and I'm just crying about everything. lol.


----------



## Natasha2605

emyandpotato said:


> Natasha2605 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> emyandpotato said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> Doesnt need to be an argument. :thumbup: people can disagree without getting angry.
> 
> this is all hypothetical but what if two people are both working, but they are only qualified for minimum wage jobs/there is nothing else out there that they get chosen for. Should they not to allowed to have children just because their wages cant afford to support a child? Does anyone truly have the right to tell them 'too bad, you're poor. no children for you'?
> I dont know that much about the UK system so maybe that isnt possible there, but it is VERY possible here in the US.
> 
> I think that people should make the best of their lives and try to better themselves as far as possible and be financially independent as far as is possible but it is not entirely possible for most people and I think it is absolutely unfair to suggest that 'poor' people should be denied a family. It would never happen anyway and if poor people were denied benefits of any sort then it would revert back to Victorian Britain before the reforms where the poverty was awful. It is not so much people who are poor taking tax money but more a sharing of wealth in what I think is in most cases very fair. Many people who profess to pay money for people to 'live off of benefits' would happily accept help if they became unemployed.
> 
> I wonder if people who think you shouldn't have children if you can't afford them without benefits also think that you should not have IVF unless you can pay for it yourself? The principles are very similar.Click to expand...
> 
> I think that's completely different. There are people who _need_ to have IVF because for some reason or another their body can't physically concieve. They don't choose to be unable to naturally have children and imo they deserve the help. If your just gonna concieve children that you can't really afford in the first place then I don't think you deserve the help. :shrug:
> 
> It's completely different if you were working then lost your job. Of course you'd have to apply for benefits because at the end of the day you need to live. And I can say that I wouldn't ''happily'' accept the help because tbh I'd rather earn my own money through employment but if needs must then every parent would accept benefits to keep their children fed and clothed. Of course they would.
> 
> There's a difference in my opinion between a family who work in low paid jobs which are topped up by benefits and those who don't work at all who solely survive on benefits TTC. The first is acceptable. They are trying and putting into the system. The latter are not and imo should not TTC. A lot of it comes down to morals at the end of the day, and personally I couldn't be happy TTC another child if I knew that we had no jobs and our only income came from the government. Morally, it's wrong.Click to expand...
> 
> *I didn't mean people who have children knowing that they have no means of supporting them and are happily to live on benefits forever, I mean people who perhaps are older and have waited a long time to have children, who have struggled to earn a living all their lives and still make little money, people who would need benefits to bring them and their potential children out of poverty. It is these cases where I think it would be unfair to say they can't have children cos they're poor. *
> And it is similar to the IVF situation as the hypothetical situation I mentioned above concerns people who have tried and failed to make a better life for themselves. It happens to many people and with the way a lot of jobs pay/taxes/rent/house prices it often can't be helped. It's why we have benefits in the first place. Anyway in these situations it is people who have tried to earn a substantial living for a long time and failed, and so are offered help. In the same way that people offered IVF try for a baby for a long time and fail. Neither can afford to help themselves, and both are considerably costly for the tax payer. Why is it that one is completely acceptable and the other is continually slated?Click to expand...

Sorry I misunderstood then. In that case I suppose I don't disagree with you because at the end of the day they are TRYING to help themselves, they are still going out and attempting to work, they are still putting into the workforce and obviously they are not in control of what they are earning, I'm sure if they could choose a £25000 salary over a £12000 one then they would. I don't think they don't 'deserve' children at all, they don't choose to have little money. I'm more directed at those who choose not to work and are happy claiming. Hope that makes more sense and I've not misunderstood you again!

And I don't know much about IVF but doesn't it cost about £4000/£5000 a go? Could be completely off the mark there, I'm not sure. That's big money and a sum that I don't think that a lot of people would be able to afford on the off chance that they may get pregnant. IVF is a lengthy process and it's not like circumstances are not taken into consideration when couples are awarded it. IVF is also limited to a few goes ( I'm sure?) whereas with benefits you can go on and on claiming as long as you please with little regard for how much your actually totalling in reciept. My brain feels a little frazzled today cause I'm :sleep: I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore :dohh:

I do understand your comparison now though, however I meant I had a problem with people who are not in any form of employment TTC compared to a couple in low income jobs.

:flower:


----------



## cosmicgirlxxx

IMO I think you should only TTC when you can afford to pay for the children you conceive yourself x


----------



## Lauraxamy

I wouldn't say it's a good idea.. Personally I wouldn't of TTC my second if we were relying on benefits. My OH works so, so hard to make money for us, he works 6 sometimes 7 days a week and we still struggle sometimes so relying on benefits solely and having two children would be hard I think.


----------



## miaplus2

talking from experience (OH was laid off work a year ago and couldnt get another) being on benefits and that poor when you have children is just not good, its stressful and scary and even with benefits we were left with very little for food and nappies, thankfully my OH found a job and now works all hours often missing out on the simple pleasures of being a dad just so we can live without the fear of being unable to provide. I'd never of dreamt of actively TTC while we were in what i class as a huge rut and one of the scariest times of my adult life, even now that we are alot more stable when i found out i was pregnant again i cried. I personally feel its in no way even possible to give a child the best in life relying on benefits alone, saying that i still do claim child tax credits but we pay taxes and i feel the little we get back from tax credits is justified by how hard my OH works.


----------



## vaniilla

no you shouldn't, a child is your responsibility and you should be the one that brings it up not the state, the way I see it if your current situation means that you are struggling to pay for your current lifestyle (which is what benefits are for) then you are clearly not in a position to bring another life into the world as you can't even pay for yourself, many people don't plan pregnancies or fall into hardship once they are pregnant/once they give birth but that's unavoidable and those people need support, however, ttc when you are dependant on benefits is completely wrong imo and comparing it to the US maybe it's just too easy over here.


----------



## 10.11.12

In the short term: 
you would have diapers x2 for at least another two years (different sizes too so extra $) 
If FF you would have formula for another 1 1/2ish years 
Cost of a double stroller 
Cost of another car seat 
Crib or co-sleeper 
Daycare and nursery school x2 
Cost of clothes 


Long term: 
School books and supplies x2
College x2 
Clothes x2 
Healthcare and dentist x2 


On top of housing, food, personal expenses, gas+car, insurance and all your other bills. 

Personally I would visit a finance Councillor and see where you could save more or your best plan to ttc would be financially.


----------



## emyandpotato

Natasha2605 said:


> emyandpotato said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Natasha2605 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> emyandpotato said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> Doesnt need to be an argument. :thumbup: people can disagree without getting angry.
> 
> this is all hypothetical but what if two people are both working, but they are only qualified for minimum wage jobs/there is nothing else out there that they get chosen for. Should they not to allowed to have children just because their wages cant afford to support a child? Does anyone truly have the right to tell them 'too bad, you're poor. no children for you'?
> I dont know that much about the UK system so maybe that isnt possible there, but it is VERY possible here in the US.
> 
> I think that people should make the best of their lives and try to better themselves as far as possible and be financially independent as far as is possible but it is not entirely possible for most people and I think it is absolutely unfair to suggest that 'poor' people should be denied a family. It would never happen anyway and if poor people were denied benefits of any sort then it would revert back to Victorian Britain before the reforms where the poverty was awful. It is not so much people who are poor taking tax money but more a sharing of wealth in what I think is in most cases very fair. Many people who profess to pay money for people to 'live off of benefits' would happily accept help if they became unemployed.
> 
> I wonder if people who think you shouldn't have children if you can't afford them without benefits also think that you should not have IVF unless you can pay for it yourself? The principles are very similar.Click to expand...
> 
> I think that's completely different. There are people who _need_ to have IVF because for some reason or another their body can't physically concieve. They don't choose to be unable to naturally have children and imo they deserve the help. If your just gonna concieve children that you can't really afford in the first place then I don't think you deserve the help. :shrug:
> 
> It's completely different if you were working then lost your job. Of course you'd have to apply for benefits because at the end of the day you need to live. And I can say that I wouldn't ''happily'' accept the help because tbh I'd rather earn my own money through employment but if needs must then every parent would accept benefits to keep their children fed and clothed. Of course they would.
> 
> There's a difference in my opinion between a family who work in low paid jobs which are topped up by benefits and those who don't work at all who solely survive on benefits TTC. The first is acceptable. They are trying and putting into the system. The latter are not and imo should not TTC. A lot of it comes down to morals at the end of the day, and personally I couldn't be happy TTC another child if I knew that we had no jobs and our only income came from the government. Morally, it's wrong.Click to expand...
> 
> *I didn't mean people who have children knowing that they have no means of supporting them and are happily to live on benefits forever, I mean people who perhaps are older and have waited a long time to have children, who have struggled to earn a living all their lives and still make little money, people who would need benefits to bring them and their potential children out of poverty. It is these cases where I think it would be unfair to say they can't have children cos they're poor. *
> And it is similar to the IVF situation as the hypothetical situation I mentioned above concerns people who have tried and failed to make a better life for themselves. It happens to many people and with the way a lot of jobs pay/taxes/rent/house prices it often can't be helped. It's why we have benefits in the first place. Anyway in these situations it is people who have tried to earn a substantial living for a long time and failed, and so are offered help. In the same way that people offered IVF try for a baby for a long time and fail. Neither can afford to help themselves, and both are considerably costly for the tax payer. Why is it that one is completely acceptable and the other is continually slated?Click to expand...
> 
> Sorry I misunderstood then. In that case I suppose I don't disagree with you because at the end of the day they are TRYING to help themselves, they are still going out and attempting to work, they are still putting into the workforce and obviously they are not in control of what they are earning, I'm sure if they could choose a £25000 salary over a £12000 one then they would. I don't think they don't 'deserve' children at all, they don't choose to have little money. I'm more directed at those who choose not to work and are happy claiming. Hope that makes more sense and I've not misunderstood you again!
> 
> And I don't know much about IVF but doesn't it cost about £4000/£5000 a go? Could be completely off the mark there, I'm not sure. That's big money and a sum that I don't think that a lot of people would be able to afford on the off chance that they may get pregnant. IVF is a lengthy process and it's not like circumstances are not taken into consideration when couples are awarded it. IVF is also limited to a few goes ( I'm sure?) whereas with benefits you can go on and on claiming as long as you please with little regard for how much your actually totalling in reciept. My brain feels a little frazzled today cause I'm :sleep: I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore :dohh:
> 
> I do understand your comparison now though, however I meant I had a problem with people who are not in any form of employment TTC compared to a couple in low income jobs.
> 
> :flower:Click to expand...

No I think we're on the same page with what we believe generally. I think it costs more than that but I guess it depends on the area. I just meant that accepting help for either is basically asked the tax payer to finance your family, whether in supporting it with financial aid or starting it, IYKWIM? 

I'm also against people just thinking they can have plenty of kids and it's fine not to try to find work. Not so much because it's unfair to the tax payer but because it's morally wrong and sets a bad example to their children, causing a continuous line of people living off of benefits cos it's the norm. TBH I don't see why you'd want to, when I got benefits I was incredibly embarrassed about it and really wish I was financially stable on my own but sometimes it just isn't possible.


----------



## v2007

Nope i don't think it is ok. 

Reckless tbh. 

You would get a week average £142 a week as a single Mum or around £175 as a couple

Thats Income Support, Child Benefit and Child Tax Credit.

Trust me is goes nowhere. 

Shopping, Gas, water, electric, tv licence, nappies, bus fares, unexpected expenses, clothes, the list goes on. 

Benefits are there for people who are stuggling, lost their jobs etc not for boys who wanna make babies and let the tax payers pick up the tab.


----------



## Tanara

_I think this thread is really silly, honestly why would you want to bring a baby into this world when you cant afford the one you have... They expect REAL hard working people to pay for them to sit at home and pop out babies are you kidding me (this isn't a shot at the OP its a general statement, if you take it offensively that's your choice.) 

We have never been on benefits, OH has a great job, and may have an opportunity in the near future to own his own business, we make above and beyond what we need and we STILL wouldn't have another baby yet. I want to own a house, and have a good bank account set up before & if we have more kids.

I dont understand why anyone would want to bring a child into poverty, dont you want to buy your child all the things they want, to give them everything, every opportunity? It's people that actually TTC on benefits that give us all a bad name, I'll be honest I would never go on benefits, no matter how hard things got, I would work my effing ass off before that, WHY? because so many people have abused the system and I'm really not interested in being labelled as another one... 

I'm not saying your a terrible person if you were to get pregnant by accident either, just say to try to bring a life into this world you financially cant take care of is well stupid on the parents part._


----------



## Desi's_lost

Tanara what would you do if there wasn't a job for you? What then? Are you gonna walk the streets or something? (I say this in a silly manner )

Employment isnt easy. I applied for a job at a grocery store a fw months back and still managed to not get the spot even tho I ha two years of experience. Because there are so many people looking for anything they can get, even entry level positions have a huge amount of competition. The employers know they can cherry pick.


----------



## PinkyPonk

I am a single mum of 2 babies and on benefits and honestly it is so hard!
and i save alot of money using cloth nappies, breastfeeding (not anymore now though quit last month) co-sleeping and baby wearing, I also don't drive.
Cant afford petrol elt alone insurance so driving is a no no right now.
I can not live in the winter, i pay £10 a day electric and it is so hard when they is my entire weeks allowance then i have to ifnd the money for my DDs and bills and food plus another £80 to top up my rent, t is so hard and so stressful, i am down all of the time because of it and it is not a nice environment for babies to be around, i suggest you and your OH finding a job before even thinking about TTC


----------



## PinkyPonk

Tanara said:


> _I think this thread is really silly, honestly why would you want to bring a baby into this world when you cant afford the one you have... They expect REAL hard working people to pay for them to sit at home and pop out babies are you kidding me (this isn't a shot at the OP its a general statement, if you take it offensively that's your choice.)
> 
> We have never been on benefits, OH has a great job, and may have an opportunity in the near future to own his own business, we make above and beyond what we need and we STILL wouldn't have another baby yet. I want to own a house, and have a good bank account set up before & if we have more kids.
> 
> I dont understand why anyone would want to bring a child into poverty, dont you want to buy your child all the things they want, to give them everything, every opportunity? It's people that actually TTC on benefits that give us all a bad name,* I'll be honest I would never go on benefits, *no matter how hard things got, I would work my effing ass off before that, WHY? because so many people have abused the system and I'm really not interested in being labelled as another one...
> 
> I'm not saying your a terrible person if you were to get pregnant by accident either, just say to try to bring a life into this world you financially cant take care of is well stupid on the parents part._


really?
you're saying if you ended up single and the dad wanted nothing to do with the kids so it was literally just you, you had no one to look after the kids, you got paid £5.75 PH and nursery fees were say £4 PH so that would be £1,.75 PH that would no where near pay rent let alone food and utilities, you would still not go on benefits.
I agree TTC while on benefits is what gives us a bad name, but some people have no other choice than to be on benefits


----------



## Tanara

Desi's_lost said:


> Tanara what would you do if there wasn't a job for you? What then? Are you gonna walk the streets or something? (I say this in a silly manner )
> 
> Employment isnt easy. I applied for a job at a grocery store a fw months back and still managed to not get the spot even tho I ha two years of experience. Because there are so many people looking for anything they can get, even entry level positions have a huge amount of competition. The employers know they can cherry pick.

_Well for one I wouldn't hand out a resume to only one place, it would be multiple places until I found something. Canada is allot different in the US were not bankrupt from the war... Not to mention I live in Alberta, Were a very wealthy province, and free health benefits. 

We have saving put away that we could dig into until we found work (we could live off what we have saved for about 8 months right now) , and to be honest I would sell allot of the "don't need" things we have before excepting benefits. I get that I'm unreasonable, but this is my personal feelings, I would not feel right about it at all, these are my kids I brought them into the world.

I'm not looking down my nose at people who need them at all, Everyone has different situations, and allot of young woman on them are going to school, my best friend has been for 3 years while in school (she also has a physical disability stopping her from working). I dont agree with people who abuse the system, like people who TTC on benefits,

Besides that it wasnt the topic, it was is it ok to TTC. _


----------



## feeble

fair play to you x


----------



## Tanara

PinkyPonk said:


> Tanara said:
> 
> 
> _I think this thread is really silly, honestly why would you want to bring a baby into this world when you cant afford the one you have... They expect REAL hard working people to pay for them to sit at home and pop out babies are you kidding me (this isn't a shot at the OP its a general statement, if you take it offensively that's your choice.)
> 
> We have never been on benefits, OH has a great job, and may have an opportunity in the near future to own his own business, we make above and beyond what we need and we STILL wouldn't have another baby yet. I want to own a house, and have a good bank account set up before & if we have more kids.
> 
> I dont understand why anyone would want to bring a child into poverty, dont you want to buy your child all the things they want, to give them everything, every opportunity? It's people that actually TTC on benefits that give us all a bad name,* I'll be honest I would never go on benefits, *no matter how hard things got, I would work my effing ass off before that, WHY? because so many people have abused the system and I'm really not interested in being labelled as another one...
> 
> I'm not saying your a terrible person if you were to get pregnant by accident either, just say to try to bring a life into this world you financially cant take care of is well stupid on the parents part._
> 
> 
> really?
> you're saying if you ended up single and the dad wanted nothing to do with the kids so it was literally just you, you had no one to look after the kids, you got paid £5.75 PH and nursery fees were say £4 PH so that would be £1,.75 PH that would no where near pay rent let alone food and utilities, you would still not go on benefits.
> I agree TTC while on benefits is what gives us a bad name, but some people have no other choice than to be on benefitsClick to expand...

_Where im from things are allot different, for one I make almost $1500 a month, plus child support from OH. Which would be about $2000 a month. I could rent an apartment here for $550 a month (that includes utilities), $300 on food and I would still have $1200 for everything else. Even if my OH didn't pay (which he would, its the type of person he is) I would still have $700 to spend. 

And on top of that I will be watching my nephew 5x a week. And will be making $550 a monthish. 

And here they remove what you get from your kids dad's from your income support, so instead of the 1200 most people get here I would only get maybe $650. It's not worth it for me, 

Like I said things here are totally different, I'm not saying anyone is a bad person for being on them AT ALL, I said if you TTC that's Stupid. I personally would not go on benefits, Thats me.  My mom has been a single parent with three kids for 8 years and never been on benefits, its possible.

Please dont be offended by my post its just how I feel about it. _


----------



## QuintinsMommy

Tanara said:


> PinkyPonk said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Tanara said:
> 
> 
> _I think this thread is really silly, honestly why would you want to bring a baby into this world when you cant afford the one you have... They expect REAL hard working people to pay for them to sit at home and pop out babies are you kidding me (this isn't a shot at the OP its a general statement, if you take it offensively that's your choice.)
> 
> We have never been on benefits, OH has a great job, and may have an opportunity in the near future to own his own business, we make above and beyond what we need and we STILL wouldn't have another baby yet. I want to own a house, and have a good bank account set up before & if we have more kids.
> 
> I dont understand why anyone would want to bring a child into poverty, dont you want to buy your child all the things they want, to give them everything, every opportunity? It's people that actually TTC on benefits that give us all a bad name,* I'll be honest I would never go on benefits, *no matter how hard things got, I would work my effing ass off before that, WHY? because so many people have abused the system and I'm really not interested in being labelled as another one...
> 
> I'm not saying your a terrible person if you were to get pregnant by accident either, just say to try to bring a life into this world you financially cant take care of is well stupid on the parents part._
> 
> 
> really?
> you're saying if you ended up single and the dad wanted nothing to do with the kids so it was literally just you, you had no one to look after the kids, you got paid £5.75 PH and nursery fees were say £4 PH so that would be £1,.75 PH that would no where near pay rent let alone food and utilities, you would still not go on benefits.
> I agree TTC while on benefits is what gives us a bad name, but some people have no other choice than to be on benefitsClick to expand...
> 
> _Where im from things are allot different, for one I make almost $1500 a month, plus child support from OH. Which would be about $2000 a month. I could rent an apartment here for $550 a month (that includes utilities), $300 on food and I would still have $1200 for everything else. Even if my OH didn't pay (which he would, its the type of person he is) I would still have $700 to spend.
> 
> And on top of that I will be watching my nephew 5x a week. And will be making $550 a monthish.
> 
> And here they remove what you get from your kids dad's from your income support, so instead of the 1200 most people get here I would only get maybe $650. It's not worth it for me,
> 
> Like I said things here are totally different, I'm not saying anyone is a bad person for being on them AT ALL, I said if you TTC that's Stupid.* I personally would not go on benefits, Thats me.  My mom has been a single parent with three kids for 8 years and never been on benefits, its possible.*
> 
> Please dont be offended by my post its just how I feel about it. _Click to expand...


I was on benefits when Quintin was 1st born, I had no choice ! I was trying to get as many high school credits as I could before he came, so I could go to college, I wanted to goback to school when he was 6 months old but I cope with leaving him and cried all the time, so I waited till 18 months old (the next school year) and now Im in college and live off a loan, I dont get child support from FOB. I dont look down on people on benefits because it was there when I needed it and I feel so grateful I got to spend my sons 1st year at home. Im a single parent and I can be proud that I was on benefits till I could better my sons life

here we get 913 on benefits and my rent was 700$


----------



## Tanara

QuintinsMommy said:


> Tanara said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> PinkyPonk said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Tanara said:
> 
> 
> _I think this thread is really silly, honestly why would you want to bring a baby into this world when you cant afford the one you have... They expect REAL hard working people to pay for them to sit at home and pop out babies are you kidding me (this isn't a shot at the OP its a general statement, if you take it offensively that's your choice.)
> 
> We have never been on benefits, OH has a great job, and may have an opportunity in the near future to own his own business, we make above and beyond what we need and we STILL wouldn't have another baby yet. I want to own a house, and have a good bank account set up before & if we have more kids.
> 
> I dont understand why anyone would want to bring a child into poverty, dont you want to buy your child all the things they want, to give them everything, every opportunity? It's people that actually TTC on benefits that give us all a bad name,* I'll be honest I would never go on benefits, *no matter how hard things got, I would work my effing ass off before that, WHY? because so many people have abused the system and I'm really not interested in being labelled as another one...
> 
> I'm not saying your a terrible person if you were to get pregnant by accident either, just say to try to bring a life into this world you financially cant take care of is well stupid on the parents part._
> 
> 
> really?
> you're saying if you ended up single and the dad wanted nothing to do with the kids so it was literally just you, you had no one to look after the kids, you got paid £5.75 PH and nursery fees were say £4 PH so that would be £1,.75 PH that would no where near pay rent let alone food and utilities, you would still not go on benefits.
> I agree TTC while on benefits is what gives us a bad name, but some people have no other choice than to be on benefitsClick to expand...
> 
> _Where im from things are allot different, for one I make almost $1500 a month, plus child support from OH. Which would be about $2000 a month. I could rent an apartment here for $550 a month (that includes utilities), $300 on food and I would still have $1200 for everything else. Even if my OH didn't pay (which he would, its the type of person he is) I would still have $700 to spend.
> 
> And on top of that I will be watching my nephew 5x a week. And will be making $550 a monthish.
> 
> And here they remove what you get from your kids dad's from your income support, so instead of the 1200 most people get here I would only get maybe $650. It's not worth it for me,
> 
> Like I said things here are totally different, I'm not saying anyone is a bad person for being on them AT ALL, I said if you TTC that's Stupid.* I personally would not go on benefits, Thats me.  My mom has been a single parent with three kids for 8 years and never been on benefits, its possible.*
> 
> Please dont be offended by my post its just how I feel about it. _Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I was on benefits when Quintin was 1st born, I had no choice ! I was trying to get as many high school credits as I could before he came, so I could go to college, I wanted to goback to school when he was 6 months old but I cope with leaving him and cried all the time, so I waited till 18 months old (the next school year) and now Im in college and live off a loan, I dont get child support from FOB. I dont look down on people on benefits because it was there when I needed it and I feel so grateful I got to spend my sons 1st year at home. Im a single parent and I can be proud that I was on benefits till I could better my sons life
> 
> here we get 913 on benefits and my rent was 700$Click to expand...

_I dont look down on people who get benefits at all.  Like I said I personally wouldn't go on them, there is more options here than just income support. There's subsidised living and subsidised daycare. My situation is much different than most, I could afford to live on my own without working or benefits, (Although I would still work weekends while my kids were with their dad's). I don't know if anyone remembers but in april me and OH separated for two months (he was having some serious family issues with his mom). I stayed in the home we had, and paid our rent, bought food ect all on my own.

It's also different since both my FOB and OH are/would be involved with the kids, FOB takes taye every second weekend, and OH would take him the other weekend (my weekend) aswell as fayth every weekend. And they both do/would pay child support.

I do know people who have had to go on benefits to support their families but they were not TTCing on benefits. They were using it as a temporary aid to get on their feed and support their families on their own. Which IMO is what benefits are for. 

Edit: i'm going to add that I was a Single mom for 8 months after I left my sons Dad and I did it on my own, I watched two young kids After school for 5 hours (made $1500 a Month) and Watched another child for a friend of mine while she was in college for $600 a month, plus the child support ($250), Child Tax ($277) and Universal ($100). I lived in a tiny one bedroom suit, but it was mine. We didnt have much furniture, but our bills, rent and food were always paid for_


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## JadeBaby75

I haven't read the last few pages don't have time right now but i will say that I only asked to understand his perspective. If it even still matters I agree with the majority.


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## Desi's_lost

JadeBaby75 said:


> I haven't read the last few pages don't have time right now but i will say that I only asked to understand his perspective. If it even still matters I agree with the majority.

Btw, hun, i have a question as you do live in the US. Does you're OH work?

edit: cos if he does, I think it would be fair enough to ttc because if you think about it, in 5ish years, both children would be getting sent off to school and you'd then have plenty of time to work/go to school whatever and possibly not have to be on state anymore, iykwim. 
versus maybe having to go back on benefits next time you have a child anyway. 

I think the majority of people have agreed that the only way to 'give people on benefits a bad name' is if neither parent is working/trying and just mooching off the state out of laziness.


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## we can't wait

I feel like this thread has turned into one of those "have's" versus the "have-not's." I get that some people are proud to not be on benefits (I'm not, because I -sadly- don't qualify), but just because you're not, doesn't give you the right to tell the OP that she's "stupid" if she TTCs. I think that was a bit out of line.

Tons of people in the US have a second child while still on benefits. Again, I feel like it depends on the situation and what specific benefits you're depending on. Waiting to have another would really just lengthen the amount of time you'd have to be on the benefits. If you don't live in the US, you probably really can't understand our system as well, iykwim?


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## Lydiarose

as a short answer No its not okay.

But theres so many ifs and buts,and very unfair to judge someone without knowing the full reasons behind there choice.


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## feeble

I would not deny my child a sibling because the economy is bad... plus when both are in school i can work so i am pregnant (with a child) whilst recieving tax credits to top up our earnings. 

I could wait til we didnt need tax credits but it would make no difference and would make it harder for me to find work quicker and my kids would be seperate rather than growing up together.


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## leoniebabey

IMO it's not ideal but it's their choice at the end of the day


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## Lydiarose

I personally dont class tax credits as benefits.


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## feeble

we receive £125 a week in tax credits... Thats definitely a benefit 

we also get £84 a week in housing benefit, £125 a month on council tax benefit AND £80 a month child benefit

we are most certainly on benefits.


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## Lydiarose

its called credit not benefit for a reason.

My OH works 7am - 5:30pm everyday in a shitty factory slogging his arse off for a pittance and has worked sinse he left school,so imo we deserve that money and its rightfully ours.

We dont receive anything else other than working and child tax credits.

we have to pay our rent and council tax (which is alot) ourselves.

The sad fact of the matter is id say 80% of this country NEED tax credits to survive,even when working full time.


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## feeble

yeah thats exactly why they are there... have you applied for housing benefit? Often people dont realise they are entitled to a little bit. 

My OH works 50hr weeks and earns 10k a year, so we definitely need tax credits to survive, but they are a benefit in my eyes, because they are money given by the government to help people live.


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## Lydiarose

we did apply but told we werent entitled,i may try again because its bloody tough paying so much money on a low ish wage.

does your oh pay tax? oh pays quite alot so the money we get in tax credits i count as getting some of that back!


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## Natasha2605

Lydiarose said:


> we did apply but told we werent entitled,i may try again because its bloody tough paying so much money on a low ish wage.
> 
> does your oh pay tax? oh pays quite alot so the money we get in tax credits i count as getting some of that back!

I agree with you, I don't really class tax credits as a benefit either. My OH pays beween £250 and £300 tax a month so walks away with about £1078 afterwards which I think is appalling. Our tax credits are £175 a month (CTC) and I don't class them as a benefit. Does piss me off though how working tax credits are for WORKING people but yet if you earn over £17000 your not entitled because you earn too much :dohh: That amount doesn't even cover him full time and me part time! Pays to work my arse.

Won't waffle any more haha! But yeah, I agree with you!


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## feeble

we pay very little in tax, because he is on such a ridiculously low wage, its like under minimum wage so we dont pay much tax, we will pay and have paid much more tax though so i think that covers it! 

i am thankful for tax credits though, they really do make it possible for us to eat... i can imagine paying full market price on a house its even worse for you x we are in temporary accomodation so we pay 80% rental and get help with that even... just shows how bloody poor we are right now! We worked out we would be around £80 a month better off, if Liam stopped working and we would be £400 a month better off if Liam moved out and rented a room somewhere! 

which i think is warped, i shouldnt be better off if i leave my husband :( how cruel is that!


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## Wildfire81

I do not think it is right to TRY and have a baby while on government assistance. Accidents can happen, but I certainty would not try.


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## feeble

the cut off point for working tax credits for a family is like 60k! and in April they are capping it but down to 26k! Its only 17k if your a single person, because thats the poverty line.


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## Natasha2605

feeble said:


> the cut off point for working tax credits for a family is like 60k! and in April they are capping it but down to 26k! Its only 17k if your a single person, because thats the poverty line.

No it's not, it went down this April just passed. We missed the cut off point by just over £600 a year which is ridiculous. We were so shocked because although it was only £120 a month we didn't expect to lose it, I'd hate to imagine how we'd be if we relied on it!


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## Lydiarose

its like a poverty trap as MIL says :(


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## Hotbump

Jovanni was kind of planned and I didnt get foodstamps just insurance eventhough I qualified. My body rejected the pill and thats why jr was conceived, didnt know until I had unexpected bleeding which put me on risk of mc with him. I had to get food stamps with him no way where we going to be able to afford food by ourselves. This baby well a condom broke and here Iam pregnant. I did not ttc with this one. Yes under my username it might say ttc 2012 but that was because we had planned on me working to get off benefits and we had planned to MAYBE ttc at the end of 2012. I'm only using food stamps and insurance thats it, although I do know that I qualify for much more I dont seem the need to apply. After this baby is born we are discussing OH getting the you know lol and I will look for a job to at least get off food stamps.


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## Tanara

_^^^ Congratulations on your pregnancy hun! _


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