# I don't want to give my mil a wedding photo!



## EcoMama

Dh and I got married, just us two and the two kids were there (along with two random registry office workers as witnesses and rhe registrar)
This was what we wanted as we are quite private and didn't want a full on wedding.

We told our parents about a month later. Both were fine with the decision as it was what we wanted but when mil came to stay she brought a wedding cake, balloons and confetti (she specially bought once she found out) which she threw at us when she arrived (the confetti!) and insisted that we cut the cake as a couple so she could take a pic. We obliged but I kind of got the feeling she didn't really understand why we did it privately!

She asked if there were any pics of the day and I told her that one of the office worker witnesses had taken one of us. She's now insisting on a copy, but if I'm honest I don't want her, or anyone to have one. We are kissing in it, and I know she'll put it on her mantle for all to see. 
I just don't want anyone to have one, kind of like no one has seen my 1st in hosp baby pics. Because it's private and for our eyes only.am I being mean and precious?


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## EcoMama

I dont want anyone making a fuss basically, and for her to realise that it was just something we wanted to do as a couple/family.


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## kksy9b

Hmm...that's tough because she is asking from a place of love and excitement and wanting to celebrate. How does your OH feel about it? If he feels the same, then I would sit down and talk to her about it together. You could always compromise and offer to show her the picture but let her know its not one you want to make copies of.

Another suggestion is to go shopping with her to help pick out a nice frame to put the one she took of cutting the cake in. That way she still has a picture she can put on the mantle as a token of celebration (and a nice memory of shopping together for it)but not be the photo you would rather keep private.


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## EcoMama

Thanks :)

My dh is similar to me. We took the pic as a keepsake for ourselves. Rather than to show anyone.
Mil is quite insisting, and many others opinions/feelings fall on deaf ears.
We don't live close by and we're not hugely close as people so shopping for a frame isn't really something we'd get a chance to do.
I'm kind of tempted just to say we accidentally deleted it. It's still on my camera, we haven't printed it off.


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## EcoMama

Also kind of wish we hadn't told anyone about getting married but did it out of guilt :/


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## Charlotteee

In a way i sort of understand where she is coming from. 

I know that's what you and your husband wanted and that's completely fine, but on the other hand, I would be really upset if my son got married and didn't let me know or even provide me with a photo. How would you feel if your children didn't let you know, or even give you a photo?

Maybe tell her that you don't want it on display so openly, maybe put it at the top of the stairs where not many people will see??

Congratulations to you both xx


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## EcoMama

Well the fact that this is what I chose for myself I would be actively encourgaing both my children to get married for their sake and in however fashion they choose. If that means they go off and do it secretly then what type of mother am I to stand in their way?


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