# hes got a new girfriend :(



## tiasmummy

just found out today my baby father is in a new relationship (posted on facebook) i feel so shitty ive cried all day. im 3 weeks away from giving birth this was meant to be our special time with our new baby and its not :cry:


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## Ceejay123

Owh honey, hopefully it'll give you the kick you need to get I over himx


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## Dezireey

God can these men just once have the decency to wait until AFTER a woman has given birth to their child and gone through the rollercoaster that is pregnancy BEFORE they move on to the next poor woman. I'm sorry he's done this, I know it doesn't make you feel any better in your heart but you are better off. Who really wants to be with a man who leaves his pregnant girlfriend and gets involved with someone else before she gives birth? he's low and you deserve a better man than that, we all do. Take comfort in the fact that the excitement if having your baby and the love they will give you will overshadow all the hurt he has caused you. I understand how you feel, I dread the day my FOB finds someone else. It's hurtful and spiteful. They are gutless men, really they are. I hope their willys fall off!


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## xxxjessxxx

^^^wss :)

Big hugs hunny :hugs: xx


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## tiasmummy

thanks dezireey made me feel a little better :hugs:


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## gracexxx

I know exactly how you feel.
FOB left me when i was 7 months pregnant and got a new gf 3 weeks after. 
I found out on facebook and was heartbroken i still loved him and was pregnant with our unborn child. 
I just prayed he'd be there for our baby whe she was born... he hasnt been there for either of us, he last saw her when she was 2 days old and shes now 5 months. 
It really hurts me to think hes with some other girl, going around like our baby doesnt even exist. 
But i just keep telling myself were both better off without him if hes low enough to do something like that, and i know one day when everything gets a bit easier for me ill believe it and wonder what i ever saw in him. 
Just remember your not alone and your not the only one whos been totally heartbroken by some scumbag :hugs:


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## tiasmummy

yeh i just wish i could have foreseen events. then i wouldnt of wasted my time with him i would of had a baby with someone worth while :growlmad: its too late now im gna be a single mum and i gotta be strong


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## Dezireey

tiasmummy said:


> yeh i just wish i could have foreseen events. then i wouldnt of wasted my time with him i would of had a baby with someone worth while :growlmad: its too late now im gna be a single mum and i gotta be strong

I thought like that. For ages I thought WTF? was I thinking, getting involved with such a tosser? Why couldn't I have met someone who would have at least been there for my LO? even if they didnt want me anymore?:nope: Why couldn't I have met the man of my dreams and married him and had kids and gone through something so many women just have nicely drop in their lap? But you know what,stuff all that, I just look at all the positives now.

a) If I hadnt have met _that tosser_ FOB I wouldnt have _this_ particular child and I want no other baby but him, he is my world, I cant imagine my life without him, I would die for him. I would go back in the past and go through meeting idiot FOB all over again to have my baby.
b) I had my mum (who is quite ill and nearly 70) with me throughout everything and at my side when I gave birth. I will probably treasure that experience so much more one day when I don't have her around anymore.

So...there are positives amongst all the hurt. Focus on that until one day, the hurt will go away and only positive things remain. Try to do that for the birth instead of maybe being sad e.g he is not here with me, this is so upsetting. Just think 'I dont care, I get to have this baby, I'm so excited' :hugs:

Hugs for you, like grace said, you are not alone. xx:hugs:


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## rockabillymom

tiasmummy said:


> just found out today my baby father is in a new relationship (posted on facebook) i feel so shitty ive cried all day. im 3 weeks away from giving birth this was meant to be our special time with our new baby and its not :cry:

I know how you feel. My FOB moved on a week after we broke up and has been sleepin around with any girl he can ever since. Im due to be induced next week and I cry every time i see couple together at the doctors or in the hospitals cause I wanted my baby to come home with both her mommy and daddy like my first one got too


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## Ersurgeongirl

I feel you... My ex left me when I was 8 weeks pregnant for the girl he cheated on me with. She has since jumped the state she was from to move up here to live with him and be supported by him.


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## Mummy1995

Oh hun big hugs :( My FOB left me saying he couldn't be with me if I kept this baby because he's not ready to be a dad (typical). He's now found himself a new girlfriend who has a baby herself!! It's crap isn't it? xx


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## tiasmummy

Mummy1995 said:


> Oh hun big hugs :( My FOB left me saying he couldn't be with me if I kept this baby because he's not ready to be a dad (typical). He's now found himself a new girlfriend who has a baby herself!! It's crap isn't it? xx

THAT just sounds absolutely ridiculous!! it actually makes me question the mental state of some of these guys :dohh:


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## linley

Again, I know how you feel. There's quite a lot of us, makes you wonder about the men in this world.

LO was 5 months old when we split up, yes it hurts but my focus is my son. He still sees him regularly and that doesn't help but LO is my world and I have to be strong for him, as you do for yours. There's a reason women have children, we're stronger. Make your life together and if he wants to slot in, let him but that baby will know you love them more than anyone else ever could and one day, he'll regret his decisions and maybe it'll just be too late. 

"You don't realise how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have."


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## Mummy1995

tiasmummy said:


> Mummy1995 said:
> 
> 
> Oh hun big hugs :( My FOB left me saying he couldn't be with me if I kept this baby because he's not ready to be a dad (typical). He's now found himself a new girlfriend who has a baby herself!! It's crap isn't it? xx
> 
> THAT just sounds absolutely ridiculous!! it actually makes me question the mental state of some of these guys :dohh:Click to expand...

I know it's absolutely ridiculous! :wacko: 
It's gonna be hard hun, but it's going to be so worth it to see our LOs smile and grow into amazing people. And we can look at them and think 'Wow I helped them become everything they are today' :flower: x


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## gracexxx

I think the thing that annoys me most is that this was my first baby and meant to be the happiest time of my life and he took it all away and its something ill never get back :nope: 
It really angers me that people can be soo selfish


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## whatwillbe

So sorry hun, i know what your feeling right now :( my fob left me a whil ago now, but wouldnt admit it was for some one else, he didnt have the guts t tell me, but i confirmed it for myself yesterday when i went to his only to find he's moved his ex in with him, it really hurts but at least i know the truth now and can try and move on, if you need to cry just let it out hun, its better than keeping it bottle up, these kind of men dont really love any one but themselves, keep your chin up, it will get better for you :hugs:


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## MissJayde

hon, you and your baby are better off without him. Right now it bites and it hurts like hell but seriously it is easier without having to appease a male's fragile ego at the same time! (I can not tell you how much easier it has been second time around with no partner) I found out I was pregnant about the same time I found out about the new girlfriend! I will never say having a child alone is easy but it is less stressful!


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## teal

:hugs::hugs:


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## Jade--x

All the way through my pregnancy I was constantly told how FOB was with other girls and even he himself was telling me he was getting back with his ex that he'd already cheated on me with before I found out I was pregnant and he'd got step mums lined up for my baby and he was told he wasn't to contact me anymore - I was already seriously ill that crap was the last thing I needed (along with a lot lot more) and I moved on and he had no idea. When LO was born he was asking to get back together and be a family and when I told him I was with someone else he was in another relationship a week later :shrug: couldn't have changed that much clearly so I was really happy I never took him back and relieved he'd found someone else hoping he'd leave me alone. Didn't work mind. :hugs: you don't need him men are a waste of energy that can be spent on your amazing LO x


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## Calambria

My husband has a new girlfriend! For the last month. He's still very much husband on paper, but other than that, that ship has SAILED. Oh, he's being a rotten shit, too. I've been trying to work out a parenting plan with him because he's moved and we are long distance, but he just wants me to leave him alone, says he wishes it never happened(oh, and he wants a paternity test, that's his newest thing). Of course he does, how dare I make waves for him by talking about our baby? 

But honey, I will tell you that gave me ALL the push in the world to get over him. I can't really say I was too 'in him' to begin with after he treated me the way that he did and left, but to see that this guy is...Still married to a pregnant woman, refuses to talk about his unborn son, and is galvanting around as though this never happened...I feel sorry for the new woman. She really landed herself an A-class prize, eh? 

And that's how you need to look at it, hun. Don't get me wrong - I wanted nothing more than to take this little guy home to his mom and dad. When I'm at my appointments, I have to hide in the bathroom and wipe my tears, freshen my face because seeing these daddies pains me something terrible. I take my mom with me to ultrasounds. My office has my marital status as married of course and when we talked about screenings, US and such they'll say "That's a decision for you and your husband", or "Does your husband want to watch your scan, have him come in" And my heart breaks a little. 

And yes, I get jealous. These couples doing nude maternity shoots and I think to myself "I would just love a kind word...Nevermind laying naked in front of the frickin fireplace." :haha: 

I know it hurts, and you have every right to feel that pain, to grieve it, both for your lost relationship and every ideal us ladies built up in our heads on what it would be like, SHOULD have been like. Reality has been coldly slapped down in front of us, but in NO WAY should these...boys...have the power to rob us of our joy for our LOs. They're the ones missing out. Never again can they recreate witnessing the development of this particular child.


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## jaytee146

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


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## tiasmummy

Calambria said:


> My husband has a new girlfriend! For the last month. He's still very much husband on paper, but other than that, that ship has SAILED. Oh, he's being a rotten shit, too. I've been trying to work out a parenting plan with him because he's moved and we are long distance, but he just wants me to leave him alone, says he wishes it never happened(oh, and he wants a paternity test, that's his newest thing). Of course he does, how dare I make waves for him by talking about our baby?
> 
> But honey, I will tell you that gave me ALL the push in the world to get over him. I can't really say I was too 'in him' to begin with after he treated me the way that he did and left, but to see that this guy is...Still married to a pregnant woman, refuses to talk about his unborn son, and is galvanting around as though this never happened...I feel sorry for the new woman. She really landed herself an A-class prize, eh?
> 
> And that's how you need to look at it, hun. Don't get me wrong - I wanted nothing more than to take this little guy home to his mom and dad. When I'm at my appointments, I have to hide in the bathroom and wipe my tears, freshen my face because seeing these daddies pains me something terrible. I take my mom with me to ultrasounds. My office has my marital status as married of course and when we talked about screenings, US and such they'll say "That's a decision for you and your husband", or "Does your husband want to watch your scan, have him come in" And my heart breaks a little.
> 
> And yes, I get jealous. These couples doing nude maternity shoots and I think to myself "I would just love a kind word...Nevermind laying naked in front of the frickin fireplace." :haha:
> 
> I know it hurts, and you have every right to feel that pain, to grieve it, both for your lost relationship and every ideal us ladies built up in our heads on what it would be like, SHOULD have been like. Reality has been coldly slapped down in front of us, but in NO WAY should these...boys...have the power to rob us of our joy for our LOs. They're the ones missing out. Never again can they recreate witnessing the development of this particular child.

oh hunni this story is just so awlful! just proves your not even secure when your married!! and people were saying to me 'this has happened to you because you rushed into a relationship too quick and got pregnant too quick' (which i did) BUT you and many others like you didn't and it STILL happened to you. it really depresses me. :nope:


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## Ceejay123

It's awful of people to blame you - Sometimes these things happen. for somebody to blame you is just unfair - So long as you're grown up, you deal with it and you bring up your child the best you can, then you're a wonderful person. The best thing anyone can do is raise a good man or woman. So screw them saying.. This is your fault, be proud of it. Yes, it's your fault that a beautiful little child is going to be born ! Be proud of it. ! x


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## Calambria

tiasmummy said:


> oh hunni this story is just so awlful! just proves your not even secure when your married!! and people were saying to me 'this has happened to you because you rushed into a relationship too quick and got pregnant too quick' (which i did) BUT you and many others like you didn't and it STILL happened to you. it really depresses me. :nope:

There were things with my husband that were off. He rushed me into the marriage as well as children(you wouldn't think that now), and I got so caught up I don't think I stopped to breathe and say what the hell is wrong with this picture...At least, not long enough to do anything about it. There were signs that he had some serious issues, ya know? Don't let it depress you. Half of it was poor decision making on my part when I married him. I didn't have this wonderful, secure life with him. Frankly he started making my life hell the moment the ring was on my finger. 

Whatever you did doesn't matter because it's already done, love. I know I will learn from the mistake of my marriage and the sort of man I picked as a partner, and that's no one else's to deal with but me. I'll be damned before I let someone guilt me over my choices when they're done and over with. And you too! What more can we ask of ourselves other than to simply accept what was, what is, learn and move forward? Why make it rougher for ourselves?

We are the only ones who we can guarantee will treat us right. And so we shall :)


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## Dezireey

tiasmummy said:


> Calambria said:
> 
> 
> My husband has a new girlfriend! For the last month. He's still very much husband on paper, but other than that, that ship has SAILED. Oh, he's being a rotten shit, too. I've been trying to work out a parenting plan with him because he's moved and we are long distance, but he just wants me to leave him alone, says he wishes it never happened(oh, and he wants a paternity test, that's his newest thing). Of course he does, how dare I make waves for him by talking about our baby?
> 
> But honey, I will tell you that gave me ALL the push in the world to get over him. I can't really say I was too 'in him' to begin with after he treated me the way that he did and left, but to see that this guy is...Still married to a pregnant woman, refuses to talk about his unborn son, and is galvanting around as though this never happened...I feel sorry for the new woman. She really landed herself an A-class prize, eh?
> 
> And that's how you need to look at it, hun. Don't get me wrong - I wanted nothing more than to take this little guy home to his mom and dad. When I'm at my appointments, I have to hide in the bathroom and wipe my tears, freshen my face because seeing these daddies pains me something terrible. I take my mom with me to ultrasounds. My office has my marital status as married of course and when we talked about screenings, US and such they'll say "That's a decision for you and your husband", or "Does your husband want to watch your scan, have him come in" And my heart breaks a little.
> 
> And yes, I get jealous. These couples doing nude maternity shoots and I think to myself "I would just love a kind word...Nevermind laying naked in front of the frickin fireplace." :haha:
> 
> I know it hurts, and you have every right to feel that pain, to grieve it, both for your lost relationship and every ideal us ladies built up in our heads on what it would be like, SHOULD have been like. Reality has been coldly slapped down in front of us, but in NO WAY should these...boys...have the power to rob us of our joy for our LOs. They're the ones missing out. Never again can they recreate witnessing the development of this particular child.
> 
> oh hunni this story is just so awlful! just proves your not even secure when your married!! and people were saying to me 'this has happened to you because you rushed into a relationship too quick and got pregnant too quick' (which i did) BUT you and many others like you didn't and it STILL happened to you. it really depresses me. :nope:Click to expand...

I had a woman in work ask me loads of questions when I first got pregnant months ago about my FOB, in the end I snapped at her and said 'he's opted out, so can we drop the subject'. She looked at me like I was a wounded animal, patted me on the back and said ' oh I'm so, so sorry for you...I feel sorry for you, I really do...I don't know what I would do without my wonderful husband around, I love him dearly, he has been there for me through everything '............didnt have the heart to tell her that her 'wonderful husband' (who is also the company CEO) is currently having an affair with his P.A......oh and also, that the P.A told her close work colleague, who is also a friend of mine and rang me on maternity leave, that she is pregnant with his kid.

Yes, wonderful husband indeed. Not a fan of men at the moment, even though I gave birth to one!.He will be taught to treat women correctly and thats a fact!


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## tiasmummy

hahaha dezireey that story is just so funny (in a twisted way) nothing is as it seems i guess we may look at people on the outside as being happy/perfect but they usually arent! wow life sucks lemons!! xx


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## Laura2919

It does feel like someones punched you in the stomach. I heard a little rumour that FOB was seeing someone else, I thought he'd at least have the decency to tell me himself rather than me finding out through someone else so I asked if he was seeing someone to which he replied, no! three weeks later I was told he was seeing somebody. By this point things had seriously taken a bit of a turn and we were fighting more than ever so when I heard I went mental at him. We'd only been apart for three weeks and I thought he was a disrespectful twat but you know what? it only makes me realise why me and him shouldn't be together. I don't personally care for his relationship, he's clearly prioritised that over his children so let him be. 

:hugs: as annoying as the saying is, it's true. Time is a great healer. Believe me xx


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## miasmum2012

I know how you feel, my ex boyfriend left me when I was 4 months pregnant and 3 months later had another girlfriend pregnant then came back to me without telling me about this other girls pregnancy and now hes left me for her :/ (she rejected him though hahaha)

I wouldn't call that waste of a space a "man" but yeah men are gutless and horrible

You will get over him :) I didn't think I would at first but I did


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## krissy1984

Ah huni, I am so sorry :hugs:

I know how you feel, my husband has a new girlfriend. Who I believe he cheated on me with. They announced it on facebook and then both proceeded to send me threatening and abusive text messages. Thing is hes completely changed since meeting her, and so the way I see it, is he's not the person I loved, hes a stranger. 

It was hard at first but now I can honestly say I do not care about their relationship, he's already lying to me about being with her and I have that recorded :lol: One day she'll find out the truth and I'll be laughing when it happens. 

To me these men are awful but the girls are just as bad. I mean who on earth would get with a man who is married and/or has a baby with them or a baby due. They can't have much self respect if they are willing to break up another relationship or family. 

Never mind girls, Karma will one day get them and we will have our beautiful children. We can look at our children and see how they grow up and think 'I did that', with little or no help from FOB. I can see how my son is such a kind, happy little boy with little help from his dad for the past 7 months and know I am respnsible for that and that is an amazing feeling.

Chin up sweetie, It will get better, Stay strong :hugs:

xx


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## tiasmummy

its horrible i just feel like maybe i was such a shit gf and now hes found someone better :(


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## Dezireey

tiasmummy said:


> its horrible i just feel like maybe i was such a shit gf and now hes found someone better :(

You must never think like that. You are the better, kinder and more loyal person than him, he was lucky to have someone like you and you know that.:hugs:

It never, ever matters if a man loves a woman or not if she is pregnant or even whether he has found someone else within five minutes. He should just go ahead and do the honourable thing if he doesnt want her or the baby and support her as a friend through pregnancy and be there for her at the very least in that context. I think a lot of these FOB's are missing that point. Most women are strong and can handle being broken up with, hell most of us have been dumped in the past. What is so,so unfair and uncalled for is dumping us _and_ a little child, its cruel and unneccessary and an amicable agreement could and should be made. When these guys just waltz off and leave a trail of tears and broken dreams behind them, they should pay the price. Sometimes I really, really wish a law would be passed that makes it bloody illegal to abandon your child in this manner and bugger off with another woman. grrrr:growlmad:


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## Laura2919

Never doubt yourself. :hugs: it isn't your fault..


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## resursval

tiasmummy said:


> just found out today my baby father is in a new relationship (posted on facebook) i feel so shitty ive cried all day. im 3 weeks away from giving birth this was meant to be our special time with our new baby and its not :cry:

Be happy, now someone else can be with the asshole. As if you would of wanted him if he came back after what he has done!


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## Dezireey

resursval said:


> tiasmummy said:
> 
> 
> just found out today my baby father is in a new relationship (posted on facebook) i feel so shitty ive cried all day. im 3 weeks away from giving birth this was meant to be our special time with our new baby and its not :cry:
> 
> Be happy, now someone else can be with the asshole. As if you would of wanted him if he came back after what he has done!Click to expand...

I think this should be a good mantra for all useless FOB's. I have a sneaky suspicion my FOB has started seeing someone but I stop myself from getting upset and just think ' who cares, she's welcome to him, she can be with the asshole now'. It's stupid to think that personalities like theirs can suddenly blossom into nice, caring human beings, they don't and won't....so they will continue to treat others in a similar manner.


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## resursval

Dezireey said:


> resursval said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> tiasmummy said:
> 
> 
> just found out today my baby father is in a new relationship (posted on facebook) i feel so shitty ive cried all day. im 3 weeks away from giving birth this was meant to be our special time with our new baby and its not :cry:
> 
> Be happy, now someone else can be with the asshole. As if you would of wanted him if he came back after what he has done!Click to expand...
> 
> I think this should be a good mantra for all useless FOB's. I have a sneaky suspicion my FOB has started seeing someone but I stop myself from getting upset and just think ' who cares, she's welcome to him, she can be with the asshole now'. It's stupid to think that personalities like theirs can suddenly blossom into nice, caring human beings, they don't and won't....so they will continue to treat others in a similar manner.Click to expand...

I totally agree. The stripes don't go off the tiger! 
Better to stay away rather than having your whole dignity shit on continously!


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