# Things the films don't tell ya!



## Tadan

Right, I thought we could start a thread which helps us first timers with questions and information that the films/tv don't tell you!

If it were anything like the films, we'd be sick for 3 months, then no symptoms until our waters break and half hour or so later with a few pushes the baby is here! Oh if only! 

I'm a first time mum and I have no babies around me so everything is scary! How to change a nappy, how to make a bottle, etc, etc.. Also I know nothing about the birth process, I mean other than what the films show! :lol: Everything I know I have learnt from here! I didn't know we bleed after (how long for? how heavy?) and no one tells you about the after birth! (how long after the baby does this come? does it slide out/do you push?) etc, etc...

So calling all mums and anyone with information.. fill us in please?!


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## emmylou92

brill thread :) lookforward to what others have to say :)


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## miss h

hehehe - I love when the waters break and the baby is born immediately afterwards. Or as soon as the waters break someone yells for an ambulance. No one in films and tv actually labours for more than about an hour.


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## Tadan

Lol I know! How annoying! Thing is, for people like me who are uneducated in this area, we could assume that this is how it is, and what an awful shock to have :lol: 
Luckily a few girls I know have just given birth so I've picked up a few things from asking them but I'm too scared to read the birth stories on here..I'd rather go through it myself without worrying about little things or thinking it'll be easy when i'm still there 48hours later.. I can't even find anything in my pregnancy book off the MW that states anything about the placenta, etc. Everything is so focused on the baby being delivered, but what happens after that? It's not all yay lets get dressed and go home!


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## marnie79

you should put up a list of questions u want answered hun, im sure peeps will be happy to fill u in lol xx


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## Tadan

Everything lol! I don't know a thing.. don't even know what to ask or what to expect!

I have found a little article online that says about the 3rd stage of labour:



> Third stage labour
> 
> Whats happening: When the baby is born the uterus rests. After approximately 15 minutes it starts to contract comparatively painlessly to expel the placenta.
> 
> On request, your midwife will give you an injection of syntometrine to speed up the placentas arrival. If you decide to deliver the placenta without an injection it tends to take about 45 minutes, but normally mothers are exhausted by this stage and cant be bothered, says Hamilton. The midwife will feel your abdomen to check the uterus is contracting after the birth and will look at the placenta to ensure its normal and that nothing, such as membrane, has been left behind. And now, its for tea and toast on the NHS.

I didn't realise it actually took that long after the baby had been delivered. i suppose it wont feel that long and we'll be glad of the break.


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## Tadan

I've also just seen this, if anyone is interested! There's so much to take in.. glad I have 10 weeks lol!



> Delivering the placenta
> parents with newborn baby
> 
> Delivering the placenta is often the last thing on your mind as you're more interested in looking at your brand-new baby, but it's an important time
> 
> What happens?
> 
> This stage begins as your baby is born. As he emerges, the top of your uterus (womb) pushes down, and the placenta comes away from the wall of your uterus. If, like many women, youve had an injection of Syntometrine, your uterus will contract fairly quickly.
> 
> Your babys cord is clamped immediately after birth, making the blood in the cord flow back into the placenta and create a clot. Once the placenta has separated from the uterus wall, the midwife can gently pull on the cord and deliver it, usually five or 10 minutes after birth.
> 
> Whats the alternative?
> 
> If you opt for a physiological third stage (with no injection of Syntometrine), the cord is clamped after the blood has stopped flowing through it, and your body experiences more contractions to deliver the placenta.
> 
> With a few good pushes, this takes between 20 minutes and an hour. There is often more blood loss if you opt for a physiological third stage


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## charlene7828

im having my third..

please excuse me if this sounds really really discusting and id loveto see if anybody tat has kids agrees with me!!

BUT out of EVERYTHNIG for me the worst bits were .. and the bits NOBODY ever tells ya is.. after wards...

firstly.... those periods u didnt have for 9 months.... all come at one time!!! ha and its easily 6 weeks... really heavy for at least a week.. one pad every half hour!!!

secondly... first few days, gong for a wee and trying to seperate the sanitary pad from ur vagina.. cuz there tat much bloody it actually more r less gets stuck and even wthout stitches urs still very sore so cant just whip the pants dpwn like normal!!!

thridly... the first poo!! ur afraid of ur life to go.. then we u do ya feel like ur about to burst...

forthly... ur wee stings like mad!!

Fifth.. getting up 4 any reason to relaise u have leaking down below and ur third uncle twice removed it staring at u (same for the boobs)

sorry girls... but i have to say.. these are all the tings im dreading more than the labour!!!!


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## 20andpregnant

I didn't realise we bleed after birth until I was pregnant! 
I feel so betrayed by the media haha, I thought pregnancy was like a happy walk in the park at spring time. I've have constant morning sickness and I've been SO hormonal, I cry at everything and I get so angry over nothing in particular! 
If only it was like how it is in the films! :L
I'm hoping the labour part will be as easy as it is on tv *fingers crossed* but without the waters breaking in a really awkward situation  xxxx


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## Armywife

I honestly don't remember the placenta coming out! I remember seeing it (gross! Really REALLY gross!) but i can't remember much!

Things i wish i'd been told...

*Having a show doesn't always mean labour is imminent.
*A show is the mucous plug which sits across your cervix in pregnancy to prevent bacteria entering the uterus. It can come away fairly early with no problems, some women may not even notice.
*When your waters go they (can) look like they are tinged with blood - don't panic!
*Your first contractions aren't always like on tv - stomach grabbing, breath taking agony - my first ones were just like bad period pains, up to about 3cms.
*A membrane sweep is where they sweep a finger around your cervix and try stretch the cervix to try and seperate the membranes from your cervix, releasing hormones to hopefully start labour.
*Induced labours are almost always more intense and more painful than natural.
*You do not have to do everything how the medical professionals say - they deliver babies every day and can get very complacent - it is YOUR birth, your body, your baby. If you don't understand something ASK, if you're not happy with it ask what alternatives are available. It's all too easy to get swept along in labour and lose all control (a mistake i will NEVER make again).
*You still get pains after you've given birth. Only like bad period pains (for me anyway) but it can be a shock after all the pain, baby is there and you expect it all to go away immediately - not always so!
*After you have had baby ask for advice/help with anything you need it on. Some midwives only help if asked. If you don't know how to make up a bottle/wind baby/bath baby, you're not the only one, no one will think you're a bad mum.
*When your milk comes in, if you're not bf'ing your boobs can hurt like HELL! I could not believe the size my breasts grew to and the amount of pain i was in with them! I remember leaning over the bath with milk pouring from me. If you're not bf'ing avoid the temptation to express milk to relieve the pain - it will just encourage more milk production. Cabbage leaves from the fridge or a cold flannel in your bra and ibruprofen help lots.
*Lavendar oil in your bath can soothe stitches and aid healing - worked wonders for me.
*Your wee doesn't always sting after birth - i had an episiotomy (2nd degree) and a seperate 3rd degree tear and grazing, had to have an op to fix the damage but i could wee just fine straight away! Poo was a whole different story tho as i tore front to back!

Hope some of that helps x


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## Tadan

Thank you both! This is exactly the stuff we need to hear! Need to prepare for lol


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## runnergrl

:shock: YIKES! :shock: even though I have heard most of these things, it's still a bit shocking to read again. Not looking forward to most of it, but like another poster said, totally 100% worth it!


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## someoldgirl

runnergrl said:


> :shock: YIKES! :shock: even though I have heard most of these things, it's still a bit shocking to read again. Not looking forward to most of it, but like another poster said, totally 100% worth it!

Thats what I thought reading all this! My eyes were almost watering reading most of it! 

Why can't it be like it is in the films :cry:


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## Armywife

I love this thread! After i had Poppy the one thing that got to me was that i'd been pregnant for almost 9 months and no one had bothered to tell me all this! I always try to be honest if people ask, they may not like it but its best to be prepared!x


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## Bunchy09

Thank you, this is a great thread!
It's good to know the truth xxx


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## SisterRose

One of the things I'd say is trust your own body when you're in labour and try to do things as much as possible on your instincts. Midwives are fully qualified and great, give good advice and are obviously there incase of an emergency but when I was in labour I was insisting that baby was coming and asked for some gas&air or pain relief and the midwife came back to the room with paracetamols and said that i wasnt far enough in to labour!!! I told her that I needed to push and she wouldnt listen to me and 5 mins after that my baby was born! so it goes to show you know your own body better than anyone else. I think when you need to push you know, you can't stop it your body just does it for you. If the Midwife had listened to me I think my labour would have been nicer, but her not listening really panicked me because she kept on telling me not to push and that I wasn't far enough in to labour and my body wouldnt stop pushing. I really freaked out, but after 5 minutes of begging her to check me over she realized I was actually fully dialated and babies head was almost out. It was only a 3hr labour though so that was good! 

After giving birth I bled for roughly 4 weeks but i think it's common to bleed for longer than that. My first few days were heaviest then it settled to only a slight amount of blood, much lighter than a period. 

as for the placenta, i didnt even remember that it had to come out either until they reminded me, then I think that was the hard part...being too caught up in the lovely baby and very tired from pushing said baby out = took me 30mins get placenta out and I just couldnt be bothered!


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## Tadan

Armywife said:


> I love this thread! After i had Poppy the one thing that got to me was that i'd been pregnant for almost 9 months and no one had bothered to tell me all this! I always try to be honest if people ask, they may not like it but its best to be prepared!x

Exactly! It's crazy how all this 'other stuff' happens but no one seems to feel the need to share! I know it's not very nice to read but surely this is stuff we should prepare for? like the whole 'ring of fire' goooosh that makes my eyes water just thinking about it, and I didn't even know about it until I read it on a thread here!


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## someoldgirl

Tadan said:


> Armywife said:
> 
> 
> I love this thread! After i had Poppy the one thing that got to me was that i'd been pregnant for almost 9 months and no one had bothered to tell me all this! I always try to be honest if people ask, they may not like it but its best to be prepared!x
> 
> Exactly! It's crazy how all this 'other stuff' happens but no one seems to feel the need to share! I know it's not very nice to read but surely this is stuff we should prepare for? like the whole 'ring of fire' goooosh that makes my eyes water just thinking about it, and I didn't even know about it until I read it on a thread here!Click to expand...

I may regret asking this but... Ring of fire??


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## SisterRose

Ring of fire = when the babies head crowns and comes out. 

My experience of that though was I'd had enough of labour, I was tired, completely derealized by everything and everything seemed a blur to me from exhaustion and I just wanted it over with. I literally pushed with my life to get baby out so it would be over and I was too out of it to even feel ring of fire, I cant recall getting baby out being painful at all it was the contractions i found the most painful.


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## Armywife

When the baby's head is crowning it stings/burns hence the saying 'Ring Of Fire'! Personally i didn't find it all that bad, i was too busy concentrating on getting her out! Pushing for me was the least painful bit but it's different for every woman x


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## emjgil

i'm totally scared to death of giving birth! I was before i read everything lol, and i still am! I'm trying so hard not to be and telling myself it'll be fine but..... no choice, has to be fine lol this baby is coming out in the best way for her! i'll just have to deal with it (please tell me there isnt always bad stuff that goes with labour... as thats the only experiences the women in my family have had lol xxx


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## Noodlejuice

I love this thread! This is my third baby but OH's first, so he was expecting it to be like he's seen it on TV :dohh:

1. Your waters DON'T have to break for you to be in labour. If my waters break there won't be a mad rush and panic to get to the hospital unless it looks like something is wrong...in fact, I'll call the birth centre to let them know we're popping in to be assessed, and then will calmly get myself ready so that I feel normal and ok before we leave. (I love the way in Friends when Phoebe's waters apparently break they don't even stop for her to put a pad on, clean up the pool of fluid that's supposed to be on the floor or even give her time to change her clothes...nope - GET TO THE HOSPITAL STRAIGHT AWAY!!!)

2. You can spend a lot of your labour at home. OH was shocked more by this than anything else...I wish I'd known before my first baby that early labour can take fecking ages! Last time I watched both series of Spaced, this time I have a good stock of stand-up comedy to get through the boring first stages while I wait for things to pick up.

3. Contractions don't have to feel like tightenings or period cramps...or any other way that you've heard them described. I was expecting to feel my belly going hard and to have backache and all the other signs, but all I felt was an ache up my foof. Also, unlike on TV, you won't necessarily know you're in labour from the first contraction - none of this "ooh, I'm in labour: quick, to the hospital!" you see on sitcoms! I actually don't feel my contractions very well at all (luckily have a good, experienced midwife who's keeping a close eye, just in case!) so you won't necessarily be screaming in pain from 3cm onwards :thumbup:...or maybe not even at all.

4. You won't necessarily have a bloody show...and if you do, it doesn't mean labour is imminent. With my first two I didn't have one, with this baby I had my show over a month ago and I'm still here. :dohh:

5. If your waters go with a gush, they REALLY go. And they can keep on going. And going. And going. Make sure you've got enough pads in the house to deal with the torrent from your nether regions before you've had the baby, and enough to deal with bleeding afterwards. Also - slim maternity pads with wings are brilliant, and a lot more comfortable than the hippo nappies you're given at the hospital. After the first few days of bleeding you can move over to night-time sanitary pads, which are a lot cheaper than maternity pads and work just as well!

6. Paper panties aren't all _that_ cheap, they're uncomfortable, they don't hold a pad in place very well, everyone can hear you coming a mile off from the rustling...and you can get bargain pants you won't mind throwing away afterwards from Primark for £1 a pair :thumbup:

7. Afterpains can really hurt! After my first baby I wasn't expecting the amount of pain I'd be in as nobody had mentioned anything to me about them. After my second baby the afterpains got so bad that I called the midwife out as I was sure there must be something wrong...nope, just my uterus doing a very efficient job of contracting back. Ouch! Not pleasant and I don't mean to scare anybody, but I really wish somebody had told me about them as they came as a surprise and I'd have much preferred to have been prepared.

8. Your boobs may not leak (after my second they only leaked a tiny amount), but they can leak lots and lots and lots. And lots. After my first baby I went to bed one night and woke up about two hours later having soaked through my pads, my bra and my pyjama top, and I'd left a massive milky wet patch on the bed. After that I took to sleeping on a towel as well, I also did this with Charlie (even though I barely leaked with him at all) and I'll do it again with this baby just in case.

9. While some women's bodies spring back to their pre-pregnancy shape within hours of the birth, most women still look about 6 months pregnant afterwards. Try to have fun playing with the incredible jellybelly rather than being upset - it doesn't take *too* long to start going back to normal again...but as most of us aren't A list celebrities with loads of time, nannies, personal trainers, stylists etc we're not likely to match their inhuman recovery times.


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## Danii

im really liking the honesty in this thread - Its good to know about the dark side of labour and especially what happens after, no-one ever really talks about what happens after... Its all Early labour.. Push.. baby out.. Done.. But obviously as I have read here.. its far from done... :S

So say baby's just been born (literally just come out) what happens then? Is it like here you go... Hands baby over.. Placenta comes out.... Washes hands.. You get dressed and go? What do they do?


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## Bunchy09

I work with about 40 women & they have all told me their birth stories even though I didn't want to hear them! None of their stories have been as useful as this thread so thank you!
I know it's a stupid thing to be worried about but the thing I'm scared most about is the embarrassment of pooing or peeing by accident when pushing & also being sick! I know it's daft! 
xxx


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## rockabillymom

I like this thread a lot makes me feel a little bit more prepared. I had no idea about the bleeding afterwards and didnt even think of tearing!


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## Armywife

I was sooo scared of pooing when pushing and i did - lots! Up till that point hubby was convinced i didn't poo - i'm funny about stuff like that like that! - and he's still convinced it was the only time i ever have done! Didn't give a hoot at the time though and still don't care when i think about it! I was also sick green goo allll over the surgeon who was sewing me up! Ooops!

A few more things:

*If you do have stitches a good tip is to get a mirror and have a look, after all the carnage i had during labour and shortly after i imagined it to look horrific but felt sooo much better when hubby convinced me to have a look - it all looked very neat as the majority of stitching was inside.
*Agree 100% with not buying disposable knickers, primark cheapies all the way! and i also looked abt 6 month gone for a good few weeks.
*ALWAYS use a dark towel where possible, with the amount you bleed it's hard to feel clean, as soon as you're out of the shower it's half way down your leg! Have dark towel, knickers and pad VERY close to hand and dry legs/bottom and lala asap then get that pad on, sort everything else after.
*My top tip for hospital is to take your favourite shower gel/soap bar. I felt so much better after my first wash in my Body Shop Wild Cherry Soap.
*And i didn't know that you usually get tea and toast after you've had baby (BONUS!) - i was too tired and poorly to eat mine last time but hubby enjoyed it and i'll sure as hell make the most of it this time!

I'll keep them coming as i think of them x


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## whoops

Noodlejuice said:


> I love this thread! This is my third baby but OH's first, so he was expecting it to be like he's seen it on TV :dohh:
> 
> 1. Your waters DON'T have to break for you to be in labour. If my waters break there won't be a mad rush and panic to get to the hospital unless it looks like something is wrong...in fact, I'll call the birth centre to let them know we're popping in to be assessed, and then will calmly get myself ready so that I feel normal and ok before we leave. (I love the way in Friends when Phoebe's waters apparently break they don't even stop for her to put a pad on, clean up the pool of fluid that's supposed to be on the floor or even give her time to change her clothes...nope - GET TO THE HOSPITAL STRAIGHT AWAY!!!)

:haha:

Not as bad as Rachel! One contraction and her and Ross are straight out the door and on their way to the hospital!


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## Stevensmummyx

charlene7828 said:


> im having my third..
> 
> please excuse me if this sounds really really discusting and id loveto see if anybody tat has kids agrees with me!!
> 
> BUT out of EVERYTHNIG for me the worst bits were .. and the bits NOBODY ever tells ya is.. after wards...
> 
> firstly.... those periods u didnt have for 9 months.... all come at one time!!! ha and its easily 6 weeks... really heavy for at least a week.. one pad every half hour!!!
> 
> secondly... first few days, gong for a wee and trying to seperate the sanitary pad from ur vagina.. cuz there tat much bloody it actually more r less gets stuck and even wthout stitches urs still very sore so cant just whip the pants dpwn like normal!!!
> 
> thridly... the first poo!! ur afraid of ur life to go.. then we u do ya feel like ur about to burst...
> 
> forthly... ur wee stings like mad!!
> 
> Fifth.. getting up 4 any reason to relaise u have leaking down below and ur third uncle twice removed it staring at u (same for the boobs)
> 
> sorry girls... but i have to say.. these are all the tings im dreading more than the labour!!!!

I actually laughed out loud at this because its true! The pee is so terrible I had to lean forward and touch the flour so that it never touched any of my bit lol! And not forgetting they dnt tell u how sore your boobs are going to be and I never knew that the milk leaked until I was having tea in my OHs with all his family and I got up to go to the loo and I had big circle wet patches on my t shirt I don't know if anyone noticed or they just didn't have the heart to tell me! Its actually quite funny now to think about x


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## evewidow

great thread - 3rd time for me too so feel free to ask away ill happily be brutal and honest for you all . 

placenta - i honestly didnt feel/push / remember delivereing mine either time. i had baby in my arms and they were doing whatever they were doing down there i wouldnt have noticed much at that point tbh.

bleeding - for me it was 4-6 weeks 1st few days very heavy then went onto a heavy period before just becoming like a period . 
with my 1st i had pretty big clots come out too - tmi coming up - they were like the size of the palms of my hands and like jelly .. i kept one and shouted my nan to ask what it was as no one had told me this ... i had internal and external stiches 1st time hence the bigger clots , i have to say once i had passed these clots i felt so much better . 2nd time i had a few 2pence peice size ones nothing too traumatic - another one of them things you just dont get told.

baby poo - babies 1st poo is meconium which is like black tar - my oh nearly passed out when he changed the 1st nappy as he didnt know they were this colour and thought something was wrong ...pre warn your OH's 

boobs - on about day 3 (it may vary for you ) you will wake up and your boobs will have been replaced with 2 huge watermelons ..you think they have grown now ..you aint seen nothing yet...for me this was accompanied with lots of hormones and a few days of tears for no reason.

poo - i was worried esp with 1st baby about doing a poo , i know i did and i made hubby check he went to the bin with a piece of tissue paper nothing was said , 2nd time no idea if i did or not nothing gets said about it , they seen it all before.

weeing after birth - for me 1st time omfg it stung for a few days , keep a jug by the toilet and pour warm water on your bits as you wee. 2nd time this didnt happen 

poo part 2 - doing the 1st poo after labour - i didnt like this i felt like i was gonna pop my stitches ir something took me 3 days to poo but all was fine when actually went to the toilet was more fear 

afterpains - you will get a few twinges/stomach cramps/period style pains as your uterus contracts ..what they dont tell you is this gets worse the more babies you have .

@danii - for me - baby comes out you get them straight away and have some skin to skin , bf if you want etc while they clean up do placenta and stuff , they then leave you alone for a bit before then weighing your baby etc and getting it dressed etc. after maybe an hour you go for a shower/bath get changed , then you and your baby get moved from the labour suite up to the ward where you get given paracetamol and basically rest , they will come check your maternity pad every so often to monitor your blood loss. depending on your hospital policy , the type of pain relief you have had and the time of day it is you will then just be left to rest or go home . if you stay in you will be given a chart to mark down when your baby has fed , had a wet nappy or a poo.

wow that was long sorry ...
please feel free to ask any other questions.


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## LuckyStarr

Hi everyone,

I only had my baby on Friday afternoon so i thought I would stick my experience in there too..... I had gas and air and a shot of pethadine. 

1. Ring of fire - I didn't even feel it I didn't know babies head was out until the midwife grabbed my hand to put it down there. Didn't feel anything with shoulders either, just a pop and she slid out.

2. Every labour is different - it doesn't matter if it is first or tenth baby everyone can be different. I woke with my first contraction at 5am by 7.30 they were every three mins, I had been in the bath and had paracetamol. My mum wanted to ring the labour ward but I said it was too soon she was my first would take hours. My mum rang the labour ward and they didn't want to see me, mum asked them to for her peace of mind, when I got there at 8.30 I was 2-3 cm fully effaced and they were coming so fast they didn't want me to leave again. 9.3o I went into the delivery suite had a bath, pethadine and gas and air and she was born at 2.30 pm.

3. Afterbirth - I had the injection to help deliver the placenta and by the time I had a cuddle with Isobel it was time, I kept hold of Isobel through the midwife giving it a little tug and massaging my tummy. It didn't hurt at all.

4. Stitches are a killer for me at the moment, I had two stitches both put in without any anaesthetic just gas and air. They didn't hurt after but aim really struggling with them at the moment. I think all the bruising Has come out today. I have been having two baths a day with salt in and a w drops of lavender. The asda little angels maternity pads are great fir padding and no leaks so far.

5. Bleeding after birth - as soon as I was finished I had a bath at the hospital and stood by the bath I had blood running down my legs and the bath water was totally red. But now four days later and I have less bleeding than a normal period for me. Which is much better than I was expecting.

I had a great birth experience and it honestly couldn't have been any better for me. 

X x x x


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## Danii

evewidow said:


> @danii - for me - baby comes out you get them straight away and have some skin to skin , bf if you want etc while they clean up do placenta and stuff , they then leave you alone for a bit before then weighing your baby etc and getting it dressed etc. after maybe an hour you go for a shower/bath get changed , then you and your baby get moved from the labour suite up to the ward where you get given paracetamol and basically rest , *they will come check your maternity pad every so often to monitor your blood loss*. depending on your hospital policy , the type of pain relief you have had and the time of day it is you will then just be left to rest or go home . if you stay in you will be given a chart to mark down when your baby has fed , had a wet nappy or a poo..

Did Not Know That! OMG... :blush: I suppose after I will have left all sense of dignity behind by tht point anyway... Thank you for sharing.. It really is helpful to just have an idea of what will happen.. Mainly so Im not always on edge thinking.. what should I be doing now.. ?


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## Stork

this is a brilliant thread..... it is mad how much people don't say when recalling their birthing stories!! Thank you all so much! :o)


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## evewidow

Danii said:


> evewidow said:
> 
> 
> @danii - for me - baby comes out you get them straight away and have some skin to skin , bf if you want etc while they clean up do placenta and stuff , they then leave you alone for a bit before then weighing your baby etc and getting it dressed etc. after maybe an hour you go for a shower/bath get changed , then you and your baby get moved from the labour suite up to the ward where you get given paracetamol and basically rest , *they will come check your maternity pad every so often to monitor your blood loss*. depending on your hospital policy , the type of pain relief you have had and the time of day it is you will then just be left to rest or go home . if you stay in you will be given a chart to mark down when your baby has fed , had a wet nappy or a poo..
> 
> Did Not Know That! OMG... :blush: I suppose after I will have left all sense of dignity behind by tht point anyway... Thank you for sharing.. It really is helpful to just have an idea of what will happen.. Mainly so Im not always on edge thinking.. what should I be doing now.. ?Click to expand...

oh yea by that point you will be willing to show anyone your foof lmao !


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## blahblahblah

The thing that shocked me the most was how much pain I was in afterwards. Admittedly I didn't have an easy delivery, but every single muscle in my body ached for weeks afterwards, and for the first 10 days I struggled to move at all. I had to use both hands to get in and out of a chair, and sit with 5 cushions, which I couldn't adjust myself.

When you're in hospital, you have to wee in a cardboard bowl the first 3 times and show it to a midwife.

Also, everything you read tells you about 'the rush of love' - but loads of women don't have it and beat themselves up over it. In truth, probably about half of new mums get it, and it's completely normal wither way. It doesn't mean you won't love your baby in the long run, but it can take weeks for you to feel the way you think you should.


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## 3rdandlastime

Hi girls heres a few things I defo recommend/ think u should know, sorry if they have been repeated (damn baby brain!)

Ring of fire - you could ask and put in your birth plan, for the midwife to pour cool water over ur lady area while the head is coming out. They did this for me last time without asking. (I asked why after and its coz they knew he was going to be big) It did really help!

wee - DEFINATELY keep a jug or go to the hospital loo with a disposable cup to fill with warm water. When u wee pour the water down ur (im gna use the V word lol) vagina. It dilutes the wee, making it pain free.

POOPING - I lost alot of blood after both, and was on iron tablets b4 birth n after. So I was constipated. Take ur time with doing a poo. It can really hurt, especially the first one. Perhaps ask for a little lactulose or take a few laxatives in ur hospital bag. Only take half a dose!!!!! U dont want extra cramping!!! It just softens ur stools abit making it alot less painful!

bleeding - both times b4 I bleed for up to 6 weeks ish. There was alot of big n i mean BIG clots in it. Try not to get too worried, it looks alot worse than it is. U will feel them coming out, so try n go to the loo asap. u dont want it to fall out of ur undies, off ur sani pad n onto the floor....YAK! I would keep baby wipes near the loo or take them with u each time, to freshen up ur area etc. I also recommend keeping ur lady garden short. Nothing worse than having to try n clean blod clots out of ur pubes. I am so sorry if this is abit TMI! n u will need to change ur pad alot, I remember changing mine every 20 mins!!!! I would say if ur in hospital, and stay over. dont wear anything on ur bottom half over than pants n ur sani pad. if u wear pj bottoms, u will leak blood on them, n then u will have to change them b4 going to the loo (or everyone will see)
they give u bed pads to put down to stop the blood going on the bedding. and keep a packet of baby wipes next to the bed, so u can mop up any spillages b4 gettin up. Make sure u sleep with the curtain round too, profect any modesty u have.

sorry if that was long n abit gorey. xxxx

I agree, dont use disposable pants, not only are they shite, they do make alot of noise so everyone will hear u coming, u might aswell wear a pair on ur head as everyone will know u'v got them on when u russle by lol!!

boobs - ur titties will be like ROCKS 4 days after the birth. They will be like victoria beckhams boobs. (u know, perfectly round, hard looking v.v.fake!) I can only describe them as... well, u know when u have a really bad spot. really round, sore, angry, a killer to touch. n then u squeeze it n it POPS all the nastyness out. Only its not pus, its boobie milk! They are like two white heads on ur chest lol!


----------



## DanielleM

Well I can remember my first time around 6 1/2 years ago from watching films and soaps thinking that you had to scream in labour until I did it and the midwife kindly told me to shut up close my mouth put my chin on my chest and push because I was letting all my energy out in the scream lol!!! This shocked me but was so true!!

The 'ring of fire' was very painful for me and when this happened the midwives were throwing water on 'it' to ease the pain!

Defo agree with what other ladies said about contractions and waters, my waters broke at 12pm on a saturday went into hospital and had to stay in as I was not in labour and was only 34+6 days so had to have steroid injections. Woke up at 5am next morning in hospital needing the toilet (no 2) but could not have one, so told the midwife at 7.30am the steroid injection had made me constipated, she examined me and told me I was 6cm dilated (so my contractions felt like I needed a poo, contractions didn't even enter my head as I thought it was too early to give birth). Was sent down to labour ward and had him at 9.08am!!!

I always thought I would cry and be overwhelmed when my baby was placed in my arms, I really didn't care I was so exhausted, I was more interested in my bottle of ribeana and dairy milk bar my dad brought into the room for me lol!!

The hormones after the birth, I was reading congratulation cards and burst out crying, I never cry!!

Gas and air made me very sick and I spewed up all over my midwife which was just pure bile as had an empty stomach, was like the exorcist, plus I kept swearing, they probably expected my head to start spinning around too!

During labour you are monitored with a machine on 2 bands around your stomach, one for baby's heartbeat and one for your contractions. My midwife kept pressing down during my contraction to monitor better and my brain on gas and air is thinking I am in pain when this women is touching me so I was screaming at her to get off me thinking she was the one hurting me not my contrations, I bet they were glad I was only there for just over an hour lol!!!


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## Tadan

Thanks soooo much ladies! I have laughed and almost shed tears reading your stories! But i'm soo greatful for you sharing. It's suprising how many of us have no idea what to expect! I shall be bookmarking this thread to keep to hand.. no doubt I'll be wanting to reread all these closer to due date.


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## Smudgelicious

Loving this thread even this is my fourth time round ! 

I've had a vaginal birth and 2 caesars, see if I can remember stuff......

1. You do bleed a LOT. I remember standing up a few hours after my first was born and feeling an unbelievable gush as it overflowed the pad, my knickers and ran down my legs. I was so shocked I didn't move, just yelled for the midwife and stood there looking down in horror.

2. Doing a poo afterwards does hurt esp with stitches. I tore AND had an episiotomy so downstairs was practically quilted. What helped was folding up a square of toilet paper and holding against my lady bits as I went. Sort of helped with the fear of tearing and straining against stitches and bruised skin. After a caesarean, it helps to hold yourself firmly against your incision while you go.

3. You don't bleed anywhere near as much with a caesar. They suck out a lot of the goo in the surgery anyway so there's less to begin with. I bled for 4 weeks after a vag birth and 2 weeks after both caesareans.

4. I leaked everywhere, all the bloody time. If I was feeding from one side, the other leaked in sympathy. Disposable breast pads are your best friends. Be aware that you will smell though. Sometimes it's a BO kind of smell, sometimes a cheesy milky smell. Its jsut leaky milk and your baby doesn't care. You need at least a bra a day if not more and probably a couple of shirt changes in the beginning.

5. You won't care at crunch time who's looking at you, or if you're pooing etc. Also afterwards, when they want to look at your stitches or check your pad etc. It's just what has to be done and its normal. I had to get checked before discharge with my first and I couldn't lie down very well (broken tailbone) so the midwife got on her knees and I squatted over her - yuck eh ???!!!


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## Paxton

The biggest surprise I found was that you aren't on your back, on a bed, screaming your lungs out to give birth. Apparently you aren't supposed to stay laying down AT ALL. You give birth in weird positions :wacko: Like, on your hands and knees on the bed.

That's weird. I'm not looking forward to it


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## danni1979

The piles!! The Friggin PILES!!
That is one thing i am NOT looking forward to..Maybe i wont get them this time..
Or the whole body feeling bruised,felt very very sore down below afterwards,have got a ring cushion to sit on this time cos every movement hurt!! I was pushing for 2 hours though,that may be something to do with it..
The stingy pee thing,def use the water
I also felt like my hips were out of place for a couple of weeks afterwards,imagine Bambi when he first tries to walk..think its because of the sudden weight loss lol
Oh and the fact that night i got barely any sleep because i was on a ward full of babies lol and whenever one cried i jolted awake thinking it was my baby :D
xx xx


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## momofmister

charlene7828 said:


> im having my third..
> 
> please excuse me if this sounds really really discusting and id loveto see if anybody tat has kids agrees with me!!
> 
> BUT out of EVERYTHNIG for me the worst bits were .. and the bits NOBODY ever tells ya is.. after wards...
> 
> firstly.... those periods u didnt have for 9 months.... all come at one time!!! ha and its easily 6 weeks... really heavy for at least a week.. one pad every half hour!!!
> 
> secondly... first few days, gong for a wee and trying to seperate the sanitary pad from ur vagina.. cuz there tat much bloody it actually more r less gets stuck and even wthout stitches urs still very sore so cant just whip the pants dpwn like normal!!!
> 
> thridly... the first poo!! ur afraid of ur life to go.. then we u do ya feel like ur about to burst...
> 
> forthly... ur wee stings like mad!!
> 
> Fifth.. getting up 4 any reason to relaise u have leaking down below and ur third uncle twice removed it staring at u (same for the boobs)
> 
> sorry girls... but i have to say.. these are all the tings im dreading more than the labour!!!!

AMEN!!! That first poo took me a week. No word of a lie...I was terrified. All though I had a nice nurse tell me to eat a lot of Activia Yogurt to help things along. Also no one told me that it could take up to 24hrs for you to pee properly. I about freaked when I thought I would go pee since it had been hours and found I couldn't. Apparently its common that the bladder is so tramatized that you can't pee and that usually the sensation comes back to pee in a day.


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## aliss

Something films and other mothers won't tell you is that you may not love your baby when it is born. You may feel 'disassociated' with it, not want it, reject it. Believe it or not, it is a normal reaction. It doesn't make you a bad person, but you will probably feel like one when it happens (after all, you are used to seeing women sob and say "I'm soooooo in love"). Most of you won't experience this, but if any of you do, just remember that it's normal and that you WILL eventually fall in love, it just may take longer than normal. It took me about 4 months.


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## daddykins

Daddykins has read all this, bag now packed and heading for the door lol

No in all serious as a male that doesnt have to go through all this, is there anything your OH's can do to help at any given time? Either whilst mummykins is still in hospital or when we get home in relation to all the "goings on" that she will be having? We anticipate mummykins will be kept in for about 4 days as far as we know owing to her diabetes and the hospital will be needing to monitor baby for jaundice etc.


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## Smudgelicious

Don't ever tell her how she 'should' be feeling ie what the book says etc. And just because the baby is out, doesn't mean she ceases to be completely pregnant straight away. There will be residual hormones and lots of stuff going on ! 

My husband always unconsciously assumed that I knew more than he did about babies and baby care and I DID NOT. Don't leave her to figure stuff out alone (if this is your first). I remember pacing the hall with a screaming baby and finally begging DH to get up and help and he said he couldn't because he didn't know what to do. He assumed because it was me that gave birth and me that had the boobies, I knew what to do:dohh:


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## daddykins

Im always here to help and fully intend on doing as much as I possibly can, this is our first baby, short of running to the shops every five minutes for anything she might need I want to be able to make things as easy for her as I can and reading about all the bleeding etc I know im going to be worried so its a natural instinct for me to want to help in anyway I can however small that help may seem?
we were talking only tonite about me learning to do nappie changes and me helping more around the house (not that I dont do anything but if there is more I can do I will do it) but after reading this I realise now that there is more than we both realised.
Ive emailed the link to this thread for mummykins to read (im back at work in the morning) as I dont think she has thought about what happens after the birth in this respect (she may know though but im not 100% sure)
We are going shopping this coming Friday and I think the shopping list we have will need to increase abit lol
I just want to make sure imdoing all I can without being a hindrance.


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## Terangela

It is funny reading this. It goes to show everyone has a very different experience. 

I didn't bleed a ton. It was like a heavy period for a week and tapered off to the yellowish end bit by 10 days and by 12 days was done. 

Never had an issue with poop or pee after. Just burned a little after delivering my first. Pooped just fine with in hours after delivery. 

Ring of fire- yup, felt it with my first. I described it "It feels like the gates of hell are opening between my legs!" as I had no meds and it honestly was burning like crazy. I didn't feel it the second time as I had an epidural. 

Labor pain- it depends... with my first I had breaks between contractions so labor was more bearable, hence why I did it drug free. My second once I was in transition they were one on top of the other and shot down my legs and through my whole back and belly into my chest. Hence why that labor I decided to get an epidural, especially if I had to have that kind of pain and also the ring of fire. 

Screaming- never screamed at all like you see on the movies. I think that is why I find it so hard watching any movie that has a labor and delivery in it. I didn't grunt, moan or whale either. I did make loud inhale noises when I was breathing in after pushing. But nothing like you see on the movies. 

Vomiting- not everyone vomits or feels nausea during labor. I didn't with my other two, but who knows I might this time around. 

Weight loss- don't go to the hospital with your pre-pregnancy clothes as most people take weeks or months to get into those. When I delivered my first I thought I would lose more initially as they say blood, water, placenta, baby... all weigh their amounts. The thing with the added blood and some water weight you will retain after. Don't stress about it you will lose weight. 

Sweating after- I sweat a lot after my delivery. I would wake up with my PJ's soaked and the sheet above and below me wet! That lasted a good month. So don't be shocked if it happens, especially if you were retaining water. That extra fluid has to come out somehow. Not everyone will experience this. 

Every hospital is different! Check to see what your hospital does and doesn't provide. Also some hospitals allow your DH to stay and sleep in the room with you and others don't. Some provide snacks for you while you labor and others only will give you something if it is the set meal time. 

I was hungry and thirsty after delivery once the euphoria wore off and I knew baby was healthy and baby had nursed. I wanted something to eat. With my first they gave me toast with jam and OJ. It was the middle of the night and breakfast wasn't served until 8:30am. With my second they some how forgot about me for breakfast as I was in the delivery room still waiting for a bed to open up when they were serving breakfast. So when I moved to the ward there was no breakfast for me. They did manage to find a tray for me. I was starving and it just didn't seem like enough food. Also they served tea not coffee. I wasn't a coffee drinker then, but this time I am gonna want a huge coffee, so I am hoping my DH hasn't headed home to sleep come morning. 

I thought I would want to stay and relax both times, but both times I was eager to leave the hospital ASAP. If all goes well this time I will also want to leave right away. Take a shower and have a meal and out the door. Only I have to wait for blood work to come back as I will need a rhogam shot (I am RH- and my other two are RH+ so I assume my DH is RH+ and thus so will the baby) before I can leave. They say it can take up to 12 hours to get the blood work back. 

Like Aliss mentioned, you may not love your baby right away. I remember having a weird love you but is this real feeling my first time. I was in love and couldn't believe it was finally my baby in my arms. It took about a week to actually believe it was my baby and mine for keeps. (2yrs and 8 months of TTC with fertility meds it was finally a reality). Then with my second I was in love and in awe, but then we got home and I was exhausted, he cried almost all the time and so loud. He had a set of lungs on him like no other baby I knew. He would nurse every 2 hours for 45 min and then violently vomit it all up and want to nurse again. I remember 1/2 joking wondering if I could place him on someone's door step or if I could shove him back in. It was awful. I wanted to love him like I loved my DD but it was hard when I felt like a cow and was exhausted. I loved him, but didn't feel as bonded to him until he was almost 6 months old. My SIL who just had her baby said to me in front of a whole table of people "I don't know about you, but I think he is one of the CUTEST kids I have ever seen... don't get me wrong, I love my daughter, and think she is cute, but he is the CUTEST kid I have ever seen!" In that instant I actually saw him as a cute lovable little munchkin rather than a vomiting monster that was fraying my nerves because of his crying and demand for me and my boobs. I felt like I missed out on months of loving him. I would constantly tell him I loved him, gave him hugs and kisses and consoled him. No one knew I was feeling that way and wouldn't have thought I was struggling to love him. It was just something I struggled with inside and thankfully in that moment I absolutely fell in love. He is still my demanding little boy but he is so loved. 

Baby poop- yup sticky gross tar like stuff at first then it turns almost like mustard seeds and can be all arrays of color. If you go to the baby boards you will see poop color, frequency and smell being discussed. My DH made us a lovely curry dish about day 4 after our DD was born and I honestly could not stomach to look at it. The sauce was the exact same color and consistency as what was in my DD's diaper. He didn't understand. I ate cereal instead that night.


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## Plunky

Aliss that's a major point! Thank you for bringing it up. I think it's especially hard with the first baby. I wanted to smother my first with a pillow (being honest here), hurt her etc. Just horrible crazy thoughts going through my mind. As soon as I told my husband and sis in law, they all went away and I was able to love my baby girl. Its all the hormones plus this tiny little being needing so much time. A huge adjustment. I would have never hurt her but if i had kept those thoughts in i might've done something drastic like hurt myself. I don't know. But if you are having issues, talk to someone. 

Besides if it wasn't so much fun with so many rewards I wouldn't be having number five. It does and will get better. Even sleep gets better after a couple of months. promise.


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## Annunakian

Terangela said:


> Vomiting- not everyone vomits or feels nausea during labor. I didn't with my other two, but who knows I might this time around.

I was induced with my ds and they told me not to eat and that I couldn't eat the whole day I was waiting for him to come out. I knew my body and I knew if I didn't eat I WOULD puke, but they didn't want me to eat in case I puked? I say listen to your body! 

Although the upside is after the second hurl he popped out. :haha:

It SUCKS feeling like you are going to throw up during labor. But prepare that you just might. They tried handing me a bedpan... hubby grabbed the trash can! Having one by your bed if you're prone to getting sick if you're in pain or induced and can't eat. I didn't even think of mints or anything. Surprise, surprise!


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## allyk

i have to say i am loving and hating this thread at the same time,... this is my 1st and i did not have a clue!! i knew you bled but thought it would jsut be like heavy period NOT 6 weeks!!! vomiting?? ring of fire?? oh my god i had no idea...


Can i change my mind about giving birth now?? PLEASE???


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## nanitchi

scared to death now.. oh so not nice, the actual birth seems tolerable and doesn't bother me too much.. but.. the "after part" gets to me big time.

if it is okay to ask... just a silly little question.. does your normal period intensity indicated/predict how you will bleed after birth? (meaning a heavy bleeder will bleed more and longer etc) ..sorry, just something i thought about!


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## blue_kat

Making me wonder too! I am hoping for a homebirth so should I get something to put on my bed incase I bleed loads? How many pads do you suggest buying? xx


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## tink28

oh no why did i read this! :dohh: lol

ive developed a fear of anything birth related in the past couple of weeks (up until then i was really relaxed about it- maybe it wasnt close enough then for it to feel real!)

really appreciate everyone's honesty here though as i know its far better to be prepared


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## Noodlejuice

DanielleMitch said:


> During labour you are monitored with a machine on 2 bands around your stomach, one for baby's heartbeat and one for your contractions.

Just adding - while you can have continuous monitoring it's not like this for a lot of people; I wasn't monitored at all during my labours and (so long as everything is fine) won't be this time either - it all depends on where you have your baby and how high/low-risk you are. During my labours I was checked internally a couple of times and a midwife would come in to listen to the baby's heartbeat every now and again but I wasn't strapped up to a machine.

Also, like other ladies have said - you may not feel the overwhelming love that pregnancy books harp on about. I didn't with my daughter and I beat myself up about it, and actually ended up turning it into an issue when it really wasn't - I was just knackered and in pain after a long, tough labour; all I really needed was sleep! 

Another thing I thought of was - you really don't have to scream during labour! With my first I did, but that was because I panicked, got all tensed up, fought every contraction and made everything infinitely more painful for myself...yep, that all kind of backfired! With my second I concentrated on going limp through each contraction, breathing calmly and being as relaxed as possible, keeping in mind that it would be about thirty seconds until the pain would start to wear off again, and I coped really well (and no screaming or shouting :thumbup: much more dignified. Although I did end up taking my sister to the toilet with me because I needed support through contractions...only time I've ever held someone's hands while weeing).

In my experience holding out for pain relief for as long as possible is a good idea too (unless you're having an epidural or being advised otherwise, obviously) - with my first I had gas and air as soon as I got the hospital, even though looking back I really didn't need it at that point, I was coping ok without. If I'd waited until I really needed it I would have felt the benefit more! With my second I only had paracetamol throughout and, because I was coping ok, I didn't have any gas and air until I got to transition and was in the birthing pool, and that was because my midwife suggested it was a good idea so I could stop pushing when I needed to.

If you poo, it doesn't matter! I'm a private bathroom person, I don't even pass wind if there's anyone else around...but when I had my daughter I actually announced to the room that there was some poo coming out. :blush: 

xxx


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## flubdub

Danii said:


> evewidow said:
> 
> 
> @danii - for me - baby comes out you get them straight away and have some skin to skin , bf if you want etc while they clean up do placenta and stuff , they then leave you alone for a bit before then weighing your baby etc and getting it dressed etc. after maybe an hour you go for a shower/bath get changed , then you and your baby get moved from the labour suite up to the ward where you get given paracetamol and basically rest , *they will come check your maternity pad every so often to monitor your blood loss*. depending on your hospital policy , the type of pain relief you have had and the time of day it is you will then just be left to rest or go home . if you stay in you will be given a chart to mark down when your baby has fed , had a wet nappy or a poo..
> 
> Did Not Know That! OMG... :blush: I suppose after I will have left all sense of dignity behind by tht point anyway... Thank you for sharing.. It really is helpful to just have an idea of what will happen.. Mainly so Im not always on edge thinking.. what should I be doing now.. ?Click to expand...

That has never happened to me so dont worry. I am on #3 too. x


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## flubdub

blahblahblah said:


> The thing that shocked me the most was how much pain I was in afterwards. Admittedly I didn't have an easy delivery, but every single muscle in my body ached for weeks afterwards, and for the first 10 days I struggled to move at all. I had to use both hands to get in and out of a chair, and sit with 5 cushions, which I couldn't adjust myself.
> 
> *When you're in hospital, you have to wee in a cardboard bowl the first 3 times and show it to a midwife.*
> Also, everything you read tells you about 'the rush of love' - but loads of women don't have it and beat themselves up over it. In truth, probably about half of new mums get it, and it's completely normal wither way. It doesn't mean you won't love your baby in the long run, but it can take weeks for you to feel the way you think you should.

That never happened to me either.


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## ke29

daddykins said:


> Daddykins has read all this, bag now packed and heading for the door lol
> 
> No in all serious as a male that doesnt have to go through all this, is there anything your OH's can do to help at any given time? Either whilst mummykins is still in hospital or when we get home in relation to all the "goings on" that she will be having? We anticipate mummykins will be kept in for about 4 days as far as we know owing to her diabetes and the hospital will be needing to monitor baby for jaundice etc.

I had complications during labour and it would have been very frightening if it wasnt for OH talking to me and talking me through it as everyone was talking to each other around me and I wasnt really sure what was going on. During labour reassure her lots. 

Once home help out as much at night as you can, if she breast feeds then you settle the baby when shes done, if she formula feeds take the night feeds in turn. My LO was up every 1.5 hours to start with, he now goes 3.5 hours which is bearable on my own now OH is back at work!


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## evewidow

daddykins said:


> Daddykins has read all this, bag now packed and heading for the door lol
> 
> No in all serious as a male that doesnt have to go through all this, is there anything your OH's can do to help at any given time? Either whilst mummykins is still in hospital or when we get home in relation to all the "goings on" that she will be having? We anticipate mummykins will be kept in for about 4 days as far as we know owing to her diabetes and the hospital will be needing to monitor baby for jaundice etc.

my tips ..based on my hubby not doing them 1st time ..but improving by 2nd time ..maybe this time he will get some of them right haha....

on the day she comes home make sure its all tidy etc ...i came back to a pile of washing up etc 

a nice big bunch of flowers waiting for her or some other gesture will be appreciated. 

while she is having a bath or something maybe change the bed and wash her pjs etc if needed without commenting on any mess.

as someone else says dont assume she knows more than you hwever there is a fine line between that and telling her how to do things . 

if she is breast feeding give her lots of encouragement and make her drinks etc while she is doing it 

if you are bottle feeding offer to take shifts so you say stay up with baby till 1am or whatever so she can rest and get a few hours kip.

try not to look worried/disgusted/sick etc at the sight of blood or anything lol.

you may find when the milk comes in -( again my own experience) hat the hormones will kick in again , you may get shouted at screamed at , cried at etc ...suck it up and dont take it to heart lol . if its the crying phase a lot of you are doing a great job and you are a brill mom words will help.

also and again this may be just be but when baby cries dont rush over to get him/her , as a mother im afraid we want 1st dibs on cuddles after carrying them for months , maybe ask do you want me to see to him/her for a bit.

these are all going on my own experiences and you obviously know your OH better , but i think the main thing is that she knows you are there for her .


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## Mustang_Love

My new favorite thread! As soon as I have something to share (in June) I will :haha:


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## Armywife

Flubdub - i didn't have either of those things either. I was continually monitored as i had Pre Eclampsia and renal failure but it's not the way for most women as far as i know.

Another BIG shock for me was when they announced they needed to take blood from the baby's head - before she was out! I was like 'Whaaaaaat?'. It wasn't all that bad, a little painful but bearable in comparison to labour, they basically put a (small) tube up there and pass a needle through it to extract a little blood from baby. I had this four times during my labour - Poppy still has tiny scars on her head from it! - they even told me she had lots of blonde hair whilst doing it!

I have fairly light periods but the bleeding after was very very heavy (could feel a constant flow leaving me and had to change pads every half hour or so at first) so i'd guess it doesn't matter what your usual periods are like - i may be wrong though.


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## Armywife

daddykins said:


> Daddykins has read all this, bag now packed and heading for the door lol
> 
> No in all serious as a male that doesnt have to go through all this, is there anything your OH's can do to help at any given time? Either whilst mummykins is still in hospital or when we get home in relation to all the "goings on" that she will be having? We anticipate mummykins will be kept in for about 4 days as far as we know owing to her diabetes and the hospital will be needing to monitor baby for jaundice etc.

My advice would be to make sure mummykins isn't overlooked! After i had Poppy it felt very lonely going from getting lots of sympathy being heavily pregnant/in labour to everyone being so absorbed in the baby. It's ironic that when most women need most of the attention/sympathy everyone is more involved in the gorgeous new baby! This was a big problem for me as our daughter was so poorly and having operations, i didn't know where my head was (plus - try sitting on a plastic hospital chair 17 hours a day with a million stitches in your lala!). I don't know what kind of woman your oh is but if she likes attention, try to lavish it upon her as much as possible after the birth - tell her how well she did, ask if there is anything she would like you to do (and do it!), do small, thoughtful things such as buying a stash of her favourite chocolate, these things mean so much more than grand gestures (to me anyway). If she's not one for fuss and attention just keep it subtle, be aware of her feelings and try to read how she's feeling - again small gestures go a long way. 

I'm sure you'll do fine, you sound well prepared! :thumbup:


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## Flipsy

Ok I'm proper scared now ....


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## Zedfaca

The only thing I really want to know is, is anyone going to try and stick their whole hand in there? Because I am not ok with that! I've already got to do the head, I don't want to build up to it with a random hand!


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## Stevensmummyx

Zedfaca said:


> The only thing I really want to know is, is anyone going to try and stick their whole hand in there? Because I am not ok with that! I've already got to do the head, I don't want to build up to it with a random hand!

Hehe again I laughed out loud I can't remember it all but I'm sure there were no excess hands to deliver!!

Wouldn't it be great if there was a book like this with the real stories as it is before and after! As a lot of the books miss out the after parts!

Another thing that was affected afterwards my sex life! I'm sure it was up till a year later when I could finally get back into the swing as it was slightly sore up until then, but maybe that was just me?? X


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## Armywife

Zedfaca said:


> The only thing I really want to know is, is anyone going to try and stick their whole hand in there? Because I am not ok with that! I've already got to do the head, I don't want to build up to it with a random hand!

I'm afraid to say as Poppy was back to back, before they whipped out the forceps the surgeon had 2 hands up my lala trying to turn her...Hubby said it was amazing, everytime i pushed her hands popped out! x

ETA: After they'd sewed me back up the surgeon said she'd given me a designer vagina! Hubby says it's defo tighter now... sex was almost unbearable for me for about 8 months after but i had lots and lots of damage/stitches x


----------



## Zedfaca

Stevensmummyx said:


> Zedfaca said:
> 
> 
> The only thing I really want to know is, is anyone going to try and stick their whole hand in there? Because I am not ok with that! I've already got to do the head, I don't want to build up to it with a random hand!
> 
> Hehe again I laughed out loud I can't remember it all but I'm sure there were no excess hands to deliver!!
> 
> Wouldn't it be great if there was a book like this with the real stories as it is before and after! As a lot of the books miss out the after parts!
> 
> Another thing that was affected afterwards my sex life! I'm sure it was up till a year later when I could finally get back into the swing as it was slightly sore up until then, but maybe that was just me?? XClick to expand...

Well fingers crossed for no hands. Wait, that just sounds weird! I just don't see how they can reach that far in.

Yeah I'm worried about the sex life afterwards. I guess that's going to be an individual thing though.


----------



## Mini_Me_x

> Another thing that was affected afterwards my sex life! I'm sure it was up till a year later when I could finally get back into the swing as it was slightly sore up until then, but maybe that was just me?? X

Ohhhh nooooo!! My Hubs will have been away for 3 and a half months and ive been going out of my mind!!:blush: The thought of not having sex for that long aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah:dohh:


----------



## whoops

This thread is making me want to go crawl into a corner and give birth alone... :haha:


----------



## Zedfaca

Armywife said:


> Zedfaca said:
> 
> 
> The only thing I really want to know is, is anyone going to try and stick their whole hand in there? Because I am not ok with that! I've already got to do the head, I don't want to build up to it with a random hand!
> 
> I'm afraid to say as Poppy was back to back, before they whipped out the forceps the surgeon had 2 hands up my lala trying to turn her...Hubby said it was amazing, everytime i pushed her hands popped out! xClick to expand...

TWO HANDS? TWO?? But... But... Is that even possible?


----------



## Armywife

It would seem so! Can't say i saw it or even felt much more pain than i was already feeling but i do remember them saying they would attempt to turn her by hand and hubby is adamant...


----------



## chelsea1978

sorry, but i think this thread is ridiculous and unnecessary, and is going to cause a lot of ladies to panic, as it seemingly already has.

I dont have a problem with the original poster starting the thread- as she enquired about something she wasnt sure about, and it was answered for her.

but some of the responses are totally irrelevant, as any mother can only talk based on their own experience. whilst some things may be helpful to know, nobody can give you a definite answer, they can only talk about what the experience was like for *them*, and their experience may be a lot better, worse, or totally different to yours.

this is been proven by some ladies saying the "ring of fire" was the worst part of labour for them, whilst others have said that they found that easier to deal with than the contractions. someone else mentioned that they had 6 weeks of very heavy bleeding with large clots, where as somebody else said that their bleeding only lasted for 12 days and the majority of it was like a light period. there are loads of other contradictions too because each birth is so unique to each lady, as is pregnancy.

whilst tips are helpful, as well as any guidance/feedback when asking a specific question, its ridiculous and foolish for any woman to say "oh be prepared for this, they dont warn u about this, its awful etc" as there is no guarantee that will apply to another lady, the same as with your experience of pregnancy compared to someone else's!

my mind was boggling and felt over swamped after reading alot of this. being prepared is one thing, but im sure we could all do without being worried this close to giving birth, about things that may not even apply to us.

the point im making is that your experience will depend largely on your situation, and circumstances at the time, as well as your own body.

so please stop scaremongering people!!


----------



## Mini_Me_x

I understand where you're coming from, and your entitled to your opinion..

However i feel like alot of girls and guys like to hear TRUE experiences without the sugar coating. Ive never given birth personally but id rather know what possibly could happen than not know at all. Every pregnanct / birthing story / after experience is different but this thread is interesting to read.

Its up to us girlies how we take each post, and im sure none of us are that nieve to think its ALL going to happen to us...:thumbup:

I, for one like this thread... :happydance:


----------



## Armywife

I would have really appreciated a thread like this before i had my daughter. The majority of posts have been women sharing what their experiences were which is helpful to some women - if it's not for you then you don't have to read it all. No one is trying to scare others, i was scared when a lot of the stuff i have mentioned was happening because i didn't even know half of it existed/was possible. Everyone deals with pregnancy and labour differently, some like to know all the possibilities beforehand and some prefer to find out as it happens. We're all grown women, it's easy to tell from the first page what the content of this thread was likely to be therefore it makes no sense to read further if you know it will cause you to 'panic'. 

Of course every labour is different, as you said, that is clear through the differing opinions and experiences ladies have shared, surely that fact alone is a good thing? It's not a biased one sided list of 'This WILL Happen To You' but lots of women sharing what _might _happen, with all (or at least most) sides being aired_. _


----------



## Danii

chelsea1978 said:


> sorry, but i think this thread is ridiculous and unnecessary, and is going to cause a lot of ladies to panic, as it seemingly already has.
> 
> I dont have a problem with the original poster starting the thread- as she enquired about something she wasnt sure about, and it was answered for her.
> 
> but some of the responses are totally irrelevant, as any mother can only talk based on their own experience. whilst some things may be helpful to know, nobody can give you a definite answer, they can only talk about what the experience was like for *them*, and their experience may be a lot better, worse, or totally different to yours.
> 
> this is been proven by some ladies saying the "ring of fire" was the worst part of labour for them, whilst others have said that they found that easier to deal with than the contractions. someone else mentioned that they had 6 weeks of very heavy bleeding with large clots, where as somebody else said that their bleeding only lasted for 12 days and the majority of it was like a light period. there are loads of other contradictions too because each birth is so unique to each lady, as is pregnancy.
> 
> whilst tips are helpful, as well as any guidance/feedback when asking a specific question, its ridiculous and foolish for any woman to say "oh be prepared for this, they dont warn u about this, its awful etc" as there is no guarantee that will apply to another lady, the same as with your experience of pregnancy compared to someone else's!
> 
> my mind was boggling and felt over swamped after reading alot of this. being prepared is one thing, but im sure we could all do without being worried this close to giving birth, about things that may not even apply to us.
> 
> the point im making is that your experience will depend largely on your situation, and circumstances at the time, as well as your own body.
> 
> so please stop scaremongering people!!

At the risk of offending... and apologies if i do... I really like the "bare facts" and the "lay it all down on the line" style of this thread.. Just because people don't tell you these things.. and its not necessarily scaremongering... it's like you said the experiences of women. 

I think if it worries you - stop reading this particular thread maybe? I can understand that some people may find the thread daunting but for others it is an invaluable resource of information about what "actually" happened in real situations. And most of what happens is, as has been made clear in this thread, not highlighted my many medical professionals. Just MO x


----------



## chelsea1978

im not saying anyone is naive, but every new unpleasant experience you read about is naturally going to make you worry and think "oh god i hope that doesnt happen to me" when chances are it may not and you have worried for nothing.

as i said in my other posts, some tips and advice here are helpful, but i think if someone has a question that they want an honest answer to (based on someone else's experience) its far better to post that separately than to have a whole load of women jumping on the bandwagon with more and more things that you "must prepare for"

you only have to look at some of the ladies responses to see that it is scaring people....


----------



## Becca345

I have to say this thread is brilliant i am so glad people are saying what happens as i think it would be much more terrifying if these things happened without knowing it is normal. I feel the more i know of what could happen the more prepared i can be so thankyou ladies


----------



## aliss

Armywife said:


> i was scared when a lot of the stuff i have mentioned was happening because i didn't even know half of it existed/was possible.

Me too. I had no idea about some things, and I was completely blindsided after having the baby which set in some postpartum depression. 

For example, I honestly had no idea that an (elective) induction could cause complications. Now, I do inform women here on 3rd trimester that induction could cause some complications. I don't 'scaremonger' by telling them specifically what happened to my baby, but I do tell them that risks exist and that they should research it before they elect for it (again, that is only for women who seem to be completely unaware that there is any risk).

If I had known, I would not have been induced!


----------



## someoldgirl

Please keep this thread going. I honestly don't think that anyone is worried that this entire list of new things they have now read are going to happen to them and certainly the majority of us are pleased to finally hear some of the real things that may happen during and after labour. 

As with any threads on this forum, if you don't like reading it then stop. You can see how many of us have found it benificial and for that I will continue to read the information that these helpful ladies are providing. 

Thanks for all your stories so far everyone! x


----------



## LJaydow

I have been checking on this thread since it opened and think that it is brilliant! It is in no way scaring me, as ifd rather know true experiences, both good and bad, and sorry ladies but some seem quite amusing too! I know I wont be laughing when it happens, but boy I hope I can announce to the world im having a poo! 

Keep it going and keep the experiences flowing, i think it is a good idea for those who want to know that potentially could happen. Much better than reading it all seriously on the internet on in a book, as its black and white then with no other way of interpretation

If someone doesnt like the jist of things then they dont have to read on :)


----------



## aliss

As freaky as many of the stories sound though, remember that most women do go on and have more children, so it isn't _that bad_. For those of us who truly had a terrible/traumatic experience (like me), there is the option of an elective C-section which you can discuss with your doctor.


----------



## flubdub

chelsea1978 said:


> sorry, but i think this thread is ridiculous and unnecessary, and is going to cause a lot of ladies to panic, as it seemingly already has.
> 
> I dont have a problem with the original poster starting the thread- as she enquired about something she wasnt sure about, and it was answered for her.
> 
> but some of the responses are totally irrelevant, as any mother can only talk based on their own experience. whilst some things may be helpful to know, nobody can give you a definite answer, they can only talk about what the experience was like for *them*, and their experience may be a lot better, worse, or totally different to yours.
> 
> *this is been proven by some ladies saying the "ring of fire" was the worst part of labour for them, whilst others have said that they found that easier to deal with than the contractions. someone else mentioned that they had 6 weeks of very heavy bleeding with large clots, where as somebody else said that their bleeding only lasted for 12 days and the majority of it was like a light period. there are loads of other contradictions too because each birth is so unique to each lady, as is pregnancy.*
> whilst tips are helpful, as well as any guidance/feedback when asking a specific question, its ridiculous and foolish for any woman to say "oh be prepared for this, they dont warn u about this, its awful etc" as there is no guarantee that will apply to another lady, the same as with your experience of pregnancy compared to someone else's!
> 
> my mind was boggling and felt over swamped after reading alot of this. being prepared is one thing, but im sure we could all do without being worried this close to giving birth, about things that may not even apply to us.
> 
> the point im making is that your experience will depend largely on your situation, and circumstances at the time, as well as your own body.
> 
> so please stop scaremongering people!!

Well, you just said it yourself! Obviously every experience is different as proved by the above. Nobody has said *THIS* will happen to you, and *THAT* will happen to you - it has all be purely experiences relayed for others to read. Nothing wrong with that.
Some women hadnt even thought about the placenta being delivered - but they asked, and people told how it was for them - and now they know. :shrug:
Scaremongering??? It is peoples birth experiences! I find that quite rude.


----------



## peekaboo

I find it really useful to read about the different experiences. That is the whole point of this thread. Keep those stories coming ladies, they're really helpful and I think will make us more prepared for the unexpected! x


----------



## aliss

Also make sure your OH/partner/family whoever is staying with you or keeping in touch with you knows what the baby blues AND postnatal depression are, and to be on the lookout for the signs and what to do.


----------



## evewidow

flubdub said:


> chelsea1978 said:
> 
> 
> sorry, but i think this thread is ridiculous and unnecessary, and is going to cause a lot of ladies to panic, as it seemingly already has.
> 
> I dont have a problem with the original poster starting the thread- as she enquired about something she wasnt sure about, and it was answered for her.
> 
> but some of the responses are totally irrelevant, as any mother can only talk based on their own experience. whilst some things may be helpful to know, nobody can give you a definite answer, they can only talk about what the experience was like for *them*, and their experience may be a lot better, worse, or totally different to yours.
> 
> *this is been proven by some ladies saying the "ring of fire" was the worst part of labour for them, whilst others have said that they found that easier to deal with than the contractions. someone else mentioned that they had 6 weeks of very heavy bleeding with large clots, where as somebody else said that their bleeding only lasted for 12 days and the majority of it was like a light period. there are loads of other contradictions too because each birth is so unique to each lady, as is pregnancy.*
> whilst tips are helpful, as well as any guidance/feedback when asking a specific question, its ridiculous and foolish for any woman to say "oh be prepared for this, they dont warn u about this, its awful etc" as there is no guarantee that will apply to another lady, the same as with your experience of pregnancy compared to someone else's!
> 
> my mind was boggling and felt over swamped after reading alot of this. being prepared is one thing, but im sure we could all do without being worried this close to giving birth, about things that may not even apply to us.
> 
> the point im making is that your experience will depend largely on your situation, and circumstances at the time, as well as your own body.
> 
> so please stop scaremongering people!!
> 
> Well, you just said it yourself! Obviously every experience is different as proved by the above. Nobody has said *THIS* will happen to you, and *THAT* will happen to you - it has all be purely experiences relayed for others to read. Nothing wrong with that.
> Some women hadnt even thought about the placenta being delivered - but they asked, and people told how it was for them - and now they know. :shrug:
> Scaremongering??? It is people birth experiences! I find that quite rude.Click to expand...

i agree . 

no one is saying all this stuff will happen to you , but some of it "might" . If i had found a forum like this when i was having my 1st i would have been grateful , i think personally its best to know all the possible things that you may expect that way of you do experience them you know you are not alone , if you dont experience them then great but surely its better to be prepared ?
i think from the1st few posts its pretty clear that the thread is gonna be a bare all no holds barred kinda thread so if you are the sort of person that doesnt want to know the gory details imo you had enough warning not to read the rest !


----------



## chelsea1978

i didnt say i was personally scared by anything i read on here, although i did find some of it to swamp me a bit as so much was being added. if i was scared i wouldnt of read it in the first place, as a few of u kindly advised!

i was thinking more of the ladies who were obviously scared and unsettled by this, a few had commented to say they wished they hadnt started reading it etc, and had responded with "oh my god!" type remarks.


even if nobody directly says "this will happen to you" it is natural that u are going to go away and worry or consider that it might, at a time which is already worrying and hormones are flying high. people are already having to say to others "well that never happened to me" 

and while it is all well and good saying, "if you dont like it dont read" alot of us are naturally curious on here and will feel compelled to keep reading even if what we are reading frightens us!

i dont personally think i was rude, all i have done is ask for some of the ladies posting here (not all of you- ive already stated twice that some responses were helpful) to consider the affect it may have on other people. in my opinion some of the things written here have come across as scaremongering, even if that wasnt the poster's intention.

if people have found me defending and thinking of others offensive, then i apologise. but im entitled to my opinion, as someone else said.

im not adding anything more to this thread as i have said all i have to say about it.

Chelsea


----------



## Louppey

I personally am happy this thread is on here... OK so it may make for some scary reading but i'd prefer to know what *could* happen than be totally in the dark and be shocked/scared by something happening when i'm already scared enough / in pain!!!!!

I'm definately one for having all the information - regardless of whether or not it will happen to me - so I can prepare for the worst whilst still hoping for the best obviously.


----------



## kimberleyski

It seems every person is finding this thread useful bar one person. I agree with a majority of the other ladies, I would like to know the facts, this is stuff no-one tells you about so I don't want to be shocked by it afterwards. 

I am intelligent enough to know that every labour is different every post labour is different and every lady is different. However I would like to be prepared so if and when any of these things do happen I know someone else has had it and there's nothing wrong with me. 

Nobody on this thread has portrayed labour and the after effects as absolutely s horrendous that they would never do it again. They have just given true and honest accounts of what they went through. Therefore I don't think it is scaremongering.


----------



## Zedfaca

Oh it's a shame that someone has come along and ruined this! Some people genuinely do want to hear the real life experiences of others, gory or not! No one is trying to frighten anyone else. I've asked a question and been given two answers with two completely different experiences. Who knows where mine will be on that scale? But if I hadn't asked and hadn't known it was a possibility, it would've frightened me to find out 60 seconds before it was going to happen!


----------



## Danii

Zedfaca said:


> *Oh it's a shame that someone has come along and ruined this!* Some people genuinely do want to hear the real life experiences of others, gory or not! No one is trying to frighten anyone else. I've asked a question and been given two answers with two completely different experiences. Who knows where mine will be on that scale? But if I hadn't asked and hadn't known it was a possibility, it would've frightened me to find out 60 seconds before it was going to happen!

I hear you - So many threads end - whether good or bad - this way.. :'(


----------



## aliss

I wrote this in another thread.

There is no 'standard' epidural.

The trick with the epidural is that they give you a little hand-held "trigger" where you can reduce or increase the amount of numbness as you go along. You can have an epidural and have zero pain relief, or you can dial it all the way up and watch TV/play xBox if you want.

And for me at least, the epidural needle did not hurt (although I was on day 2 of labour). No woman is scared of the anesthesiologist, he or she is the most loved doctor on the labour ward.


----------



## Danii

aliss said:


> I wrote this in another thread.
> 
> There is no 'standard' epidural.
> 
> The trick with the epidural is that they give you a little hand-held "trigger" where you can reduce or increase the amount of numbness as you go along. You can have an epidural and have zero pain relief, or you can dial it all the way up and watch TV/play xBox if you want.

I thought it was a one time thing.. Like an anestetic (spellings!?) that once done.. is done sort of thing? didnt know you could control it.. are there different types of Epidural then?


----------



## aliss

Danii said:


> aliss said:
> 
> 
> I wrote this in another thread.
> 
> There is no 'standard' epidural.
> 
> The trick with the epidural is that they give you a little hand-held "trigger" where you can reduce or increase the amount of numbness as you go along. You can have an epidural and have zero pain relief, or you can dial it all the way up and watch TV/play xBox if you want.
> 
> I thought it was a one time thing.. Like an anestetic (spellings!?) that once done.. is done sort of thing? didnt know you could control it.. are there different types of Epidural then?Click to expand...

I think so. I know some women have catheters (especially those doing C sections) but for me, no catheter, just a hand-held dial which could increase/decrease. You do get a limited amount of times to do it per hour (you're not allowed to dope yourself up into a stupor, LOL) but yes, you could control it. For me, I had to turn it down completely as I was not pushing effectively because I couldn't feel anything, but some women can, so they are completely numb the entire time.


----------



## Zedfaca

Is it possible to move your legs at all with an epidural or are you completely paralyzed?


----------



## CottlestonPie

I had no idea... I thought an epidural was a fixed dose and that was that. I'm hoping not to have one but that's very good to know, in case it does come to that!


----------



## Armywife

I could top mine up every 20 mins but couldn't lower it down. It didn't work down my left side but i could still move my right leg with the epidural. I have spinal problems so my epi didn't work well or for very long but from what i've heard you can usually move around with modern epidurals. I'd be interested to know the answer to this too x


----------



## Tadan

I don't want to go back and bring it up when we are carrying on with information but I would just like to thank everyone again because this is the stuff i wanted to hear when i posted the thread. I am a person that loves to know everything, i feel much better prepared knowing that these things CAN happen but I'm not naive enough to think it will all happen. 
To be honest this thread has taught me soo much. I've learnt more in the last day than I have in the 7 months of being pregnant. So please ladies keep posting your experiences, I'm finding it (as well as others by the looks of it) very helpful and interesting. And most posts I'm showing to my OH so he understands aswell.


----------



## someoldgirl

Tadan said:


> I don't want to go back and bring it up when we are carrying on with information but I would just like to thank everyone again because this is the stuff i wanted to hear when i posted the thread. I am a person that loves to know everything, i feel much better prepared knowing that these things CAN happen but I'm not naive enough to think it will all happen.
> To be honest this thread has taught me soo much. *I've learnt more in the last day than I have in the 7 months of being pregnant.* So please ladies keep posting your experiences, I'm finding it (as well as others by the looks of it) very helpful and interesting. And most posts I'm showing to my OH so he understands aswell.

Me too :thumbup:


----------



## aliss

I was paralyzed but there are such things as walking epidurals

https://www.childbirth.org/articles/walkingepi.html


----------



## aliss

Another thing I didn't know is that "pushing" is extremely important for your baby's safety. I'm not sure if it's because I was clueless or because I was too exhausted to care, but I didn't feel like pushing in the end, because I could feel the baby slowly coming out. Anyways, my lack of pushing ended up contributing to my son having an injury in the birth, something that I do regret to this day. So just keep in mind, no matter how exhausted, to put 100% effort into pushing. Contractions are something you have to "endure" (they're going to happen no matter what) but pushing is something you really need to be proactive about :)


----------



## Zedfaca

aliss said:


> I was paralyzed but there are such things as walking epidurals
> 
> https://www.childbirth.org/articles/walkingepi.html

The thought of being paralyzed worries me more than the pain. Do you have to have a catheter too? That is another thing putting me off an epidural. But my midwife said that I won't be allowed any more pethedine after 7cms. I don't want to do the pushing bit on just gas and air!


----------



## aliss

Zedfaca said:


> aliss said:
> 
> 
> I was paralyzed but there are such things as walking epidurals
> 
> https://www.childbirth.org/articles/walkingepi.html
> 
> The thought of being paralyzed worries me more than the pain. Do you have to have a catheter too? That is another thing putting me off an epidural. But my midwife said that I won't be allowed any more pethedine after 7cms. I don't want to do the pushing bit on just gas and air!Click to expand...

Some women do get catheters, some don't, I'm not sure it must be hospital policy. I didn't have one. I only got the epidural in the last couple of hours so perhaps that's something more common if you choose it at the beginning? 

I did push for 4 hours without the epidural (they turned it off), no G&A nothing, and I don't think it hurt at all.


----------



## Celesse

One thing they definitely don't tell you, that if you have a section your tummy will feel odd for months forcing you to wear knickers that reach your belly button. I really miss thongs.


----------



## 3rdandlastime

i think i might start a thread like this but for c-sections. iv had two normal ones n my next is a section. i'd love to know more. 
is there a c-section, section on this site?xxx


----------



## Armywife

3rdandlastime said:


> i think i might start a thread like this but for c-sections. iv had two normal ones n my next is a section. i'd love to know more.
> is there a c-section, section on this site?xxx

Please start that thread! Because of my birth with Poppy i'm not allowed a natural birth this time and i'm so scared about the section!x


----------



## aliss

Armywife said:


> 3rdandlastime said:
> 
> 
> i think i might start a thread like this but for c-sections. iv had two normal ones n my next is a section. i'd love to know more.
> is there a c-section, section on this site?xxx
> 
> Please start that thread! Because of my birth with Poppy i'm not allowed a natural birth this time and i'm so scared about the section!xClick to expand...

Me too! I'm getting an elective C sec next time so I'm curious


----------



## Dream.A.Dream

I haven't read the entire thread so I'm sorry if I'm repeating. Here are my additions. 

1. Don't let anyone make you feel bad if it does hurt. You always get some people who say it didn't hurt and they were amazed to find out they were "x" cm. That's great for them. But for me I was in pain from the word go and I wasn't even dilated yet. I felt a right failure but I needn't have. That was my experience, I still managed fine even though it did hurt from the start. 

2. You may see people saying that in real life no one screams or shouts like they do on the TV. Bollocks. I made more noise than I thought possible, it made me feel better. F!?k anyone else. 

3. I don't remember delivering my placenta, nor do i remember having the injection but I did. As far as I know I was told by the midwife to give a tiny push and she pulled on the cord and the placenta just flopped out and felt like a big bit of goo :lol:

4. Going for a wee afterwards wasn't actually that bad for me, nor was going for a poo. Just lean forwards while you go, it helps. 

5. Getting stitched up is bizarre. You won't feel the actual stitches but the injection of local anaesthetic does hurt. I was given my Gas and air back for it. 

6. Waters don't always pop before labour. Mine didn't go until I was 7-8cm. 

7. Student MW's are great, mine was anyway. It meant I had 2 MWs with me for the whole time I was in hospital. 

8. Lying on your back is not the best position to give birth in. If possible be on all fours or some other such position. 

9. Although maternity pads look fat and horrible, it's actually nice to have a little cushion to sit on when you're sore. I wore 2 at a time so it was nice and squishy. 

10. you will probably go from feeling elated to deflated at some point in the few hours after your labour. It's a massive thing you've been through, don't be too hard on yourself.


----------



## Dream.A.Dream

I remembered some more. 

When you push, and they say push down into your bottom, what they actually mean is push like you're trying to poo. It took me ages to figure that out. Literally push as if you're pooing. 

Breastfeeding doesn't always come naturally for some. My LO just couldn't do it. It was literally that simple, he couldn't latch on. I never knew that was possible. I thought that if you wanted to do it you could and that was that. On the flip side, for some it is the easiest thing in the world and it does literally just happen.


----------



## moomoo

Somethings that I wasn't told!!

When they examine you to see how dialated you are it bloody HURTS!! Omg, noone told me how sore that would be! It was one of my worst parts of labour!

Sometimes you won't know that labour has started. Mine started as braxtons hicks that got closer together and more painful.

When your baby is born (and for a few days after) particularly if you had a csection they will have a lot of mucus on their chests that they will cough and splutter up! No one told me this and i thought my baby ws choking!!

The first poo after giving birth feels a lot worse than it is!!

Can't think of any more at mo... Sorry if they've been repeated!!


----------



## daddykins

Ive got to come back in here and say this (Im not trying to open a can of worms honestly, Oh what the hell im a bloke so you wouldnt beleive anyway :haha: :dohh:)

This has got to be the MOST informative thread I have EVER read ANYWHERE on the net and for that I have to say a massive thank you to you all.:thumbup:
Its helped me learn ALOT and as such I feel better prepared to help Mummykins when the time comes.

If only some of the other forums I use were as helpfull as this.

Well done ladies, keep up the good work.


----------



## Danii

Im in uni, and so scared that my waters are going to go when im in a lecture.. What do you do if they pop and your somewhere like that? I think thats what I'm most afriad of! In films (take Friends for example - when pheobes waters break the guys are all like "Ewwww" and step back suggestive that theres a huge puddle on the floor) 

Is it really like that for some people? (I'm actually considering wearing a pad when I have to go uni from 36weeks onwards just in case my waters go and I have something that can soak them up!! ) sorry if thats a bit gross out... :S


----------



## Armywife

It was for me, my waters went with a gush and i just stood there in the middle of my hospital room not knowing quite what to do! After about 3 mins (felt like forever!) I opened the door and said to the mw 'I think my waters have gone!' Then i burst into tears as my brand new slippers were soaked! :dohh: After the gush they just seemed to keep coming till she was born. My sister said hers just trickled for hours and hours though so it's another different for everyone situation xx


----------



## Danii

yeah.. im kinda expecting for it to gush... take it as it comes then! Haha! oh the joys!! :)


----------



## cbmommy

I didn't know....

-I was going to retain SO much water AFTER I gave birth that it was scary looking. Apparently you do this because your body is still retaining water for 2 even though there's no baby anymore! It only take about a week to get rid of. You sweat to death and pee every 5 seconds. 
-I didn't know I'd bleed for 6 weeks even if I had a c-section
-I had no idea how HEAVY the bleeding would be. I went through more pads than I think I've went through my entire time of having a period!
-I heard about hormones going back to normal after having a baby. But I had no idea I'd be as hysterical and bat shit crazy and anxious for about 2 weeks after having my child. But it went away as quickly as it came on.


----------



## moomoo

Armywife said:


> It was for me, my waters went with a gush and i just stood there in the middle of my hospital room not knowing quite what to do! After about 3 mins (felt like forever!) I opened the door and said to the mw 'I think my waters have gone!' Then i burst into tears as my brand new slippers were soaked! :dohh: After the gush they just seemed to keep coming till she was born. My sister said hers just trickled for hours and hours though so it's another different for everyone situation xx

Omg! Mine shot out with each contraction! I didn't realise quite how much water there would be!! :/


----------



## Danii

moomoo said:


> Omg! Mine shot out with each contraction! I didn't realise quite how much water there would be!! :/

:haha: Sorrryy - the image I got in my mind then.. Ohhh dear.. Me in the lecture hall and Spurts of water shooting out my vag-jay-jay...


----------



## cbmommy

I forgot one!! It's too funny. As the baby was descending, everytime I'd have a contraction I'd let out an uncontrollable fart. How embarrassing!! He was apparently pushing on my bowels. :rofl:


----------



## Noodlejuice

I'm also not going to open a can of worms by mentioning the reason why I'm saying this, but I just wanted to say I've just been reading things off this thread out to my OH saying how useful this is as, even though I'm now on my third baby, there are things I'd forgotten/stuff I haven't experienced before and the brutal honesty of everyone has been so incredibly useful! Yeah, some of it can be a bit frightening and some aspects of labour/afterwards are potentially unpleasant, but I'd rather know about all of it than go in thinking it's all unicorns and rainbows and puppies and marshmallows etc etc.

I'm so glad to be reminded of everything, warts and all - I'd much rather be prepared and knowledgeable and even when you've done it before a couple of times it doesn't mean you know everything! I would have loved to have read something like this when I was expecting my first - I didn't expect so much and would have found it all so much easier if I'd been informed (honestly) beforehand!

My OH has just said it sounds like this is a brilliant website and I'm inclined to agree with him. 

Thanks to everyone who's posted - definitely keep this thread going, it's so informative and helpful!


----------



## Armywife

cbmommy said:


> I forgot one!! It's too funny. As the baby was descending, everytime I'd have a contraction I'd let out an uncontrollable fart. How embarrassing!! He was apparently pushing on my bowels. :rofl:

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: That made me laugh so much! You poor thing!!


----------



## evewidow

this reminds of something i had forgotton about ....

after you have had the baby your stomach is basically full of air ...if you are on the labour ward for the night you will discover that you fart the night away while all the air expells out of you ....or perhaps this is just me haha


----------



## Crannog

I thought the baby would feel 'slippery and slimey' when they put her on me for the skin to skin, but she didn't, she felt powdery - like hot marshmallows!


----------



## cbmommy

Armywife said:


> cbmommy said:
> 
> 
> I forgot one!! It's too funny. As the baby was descending, everytime I'd have a contraction I'd let out an uncontrollable fart. How embarrassing!! He was apparently pushing on my bowels. :rofl:
> 
> :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: That made me laugh so much! You poor thing!!Click to expand...


It was so embarrassing farting infront of everyone every 2 minutes. I kept saying how embarrassed I was to one of the nurses and she just said... "I've been doing this for 20 years. There is nothing I haven't heard or seen that surprises me anymore."


----------



## aliss

Not sure if anyone knew, but some places, you are not allowed to eat if you have had an induction. Might have just been my hospital's policy, but women who are being induced are not allowed to eat because they are more likely to end up with an emergency C-section. You can suck on Popsicles. My induction wasn't scheduled so I was choked off because I was already hungry and went for days without food!


----------



## Armywife

cbmommy said:


> Armywife said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> cbmommy said:
> 
> 
> I forgot one!! It's too funny. As the baby was descending, everytime I'd have a contraction I'd let out an uncontrollable fart. How embarrassing!! He was apparently pushing on my bowels. :rofl:
> 
> :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: That made me laugh so much! You poor thing!!Click to expand...
> 
> 
> It was so embarrassing farting infront of everyone every 2 minutes. I kept saying how embarrassed I was to one of the nurses and she just said... "I've been doing this for 20 years. There is nothing I haven't heard or seen that surprises me anymore."Click to expand...

Similar to the reaction i got when i laughed at doing my 4th poo on the bed! :blush: Although when i was sick green bile all over the surgeons lovely braided hair she didn't look too pleased! :dohh:


----------



## Armywife

aliss said:


> Not sure if anyone knew, but some places, you are not allowed to eat if you have had an induction. Might have just been my hospital's policy, but women who are being induced are not allowed to eat because they are more likely to end up with an emergency C-section. You can suck on Popsicles.

I wasn't allowed either, didn't eat for over 3 days :nope:


----------



## Zedfaca

Ooh I have another question if anyone can answer it! Well two questions really. I've got myself a case of the piles. Is there any chance that I'll be able to keep them private or is it just a guarantee that everyone in the room will see? And more importantly- will they go away once the baby stops putting so much pressure on me down there??


----------



## cbmommy

Armywife said:


> cbmommy said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Armywife said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> cbmommy said:
> 
> 
> I forgot one!! It's too funny. As the baby was descending, everytime I'd have a contraction I'd let out an uncontrollable fart. How embarrassing!! He was apparently pushing on my bowels. :rofl:
> 
> :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: That made me laugh so much! You poor thing!!Click to expand...
> 
> 
> It was so embarrassing farting infront of everyone every 2 minutes. I kept saying how embarrassed I was to one of the nurses and she just said... "I've been doing this for 20 years. There is nothing I haven't heard or seen that surprises me anymore."Click to expand...
> 
> Similar to the reaction i got when i laughed at doing my 4th poo on the bed! :blush: Although when i was sick green bile all over the surgeons lovely braided hair she didn't look too pleased! :dohh:Click to expand...


:rofl: Maybe she shouldn't shouldn't work in labor and delivery if she doesn't want to chance getting bile in her hair!


----------



## moomoo

Zedfaca said:


> Ooh I have another question if anyone can answer it! Well two questions really. I've got myself a case of the piles. Is there any chance that I'll be able to keep them private or is it just a guarantee that everyone in the room will see? And more importantly- will they go away once the baby stops putting so much pressure on me down there??

I've got them too. When giving birth I swore I was pooing when infact it was piles "popping" out of my bum. :blush: I mustve looked like a baboon! 

Tbh there's probably no way of hiding them so maybe just let them know before examining you?

They do suck back up after you've given birth.. Although mine would occasionally play up if constipated x


----------



## blahblahblah

I thought of more...

If you need an assisted delivery, or a semi-emergency c-section, they generally give you a spinal block. This is like an epidural, but as a one-off injection that acts quicker. You are completely numb from the waist down, it usually lasts 6-8 hours and they almost always put a catheter in with it. 

If you have a catheter, your wee hole looks and feels very strange after. Mine looked all stretched open, and felt really bruised for ages after.

Make sure your OH is primed to stand up for you when you're in labour. The doctor insisted on putting a drip into my left hand (I'm left handed), and it felt bruised for weeks. If only he'd put his foot down, it would've been soo much better.

I was very glad I took an old flannel with me to hospital. After he was born, DS pooed and weed all over my tummy, and it was a truly disgusting mess by the time it was cleaned up 3 hours later (I was numb and had to wait for help). The flannel went straight in the bin after.


----------



## ac1968

I wish I had been able to read info like this before I had my 2 boys!

I do know that different women experience very different levels of pain. I found getting to 3cm took ages, hours and hours. And after 3cm, the pain went up enormously - that's when I had epidurals both times (best decision of my life). 

Pushing is actually a pleasure although very hard work - midwife told me to "push the pain away" and that's how it feels. I was petrified of tearing, and did - but it didn't hurt. I remember feeling exhausted and I just couldn't push him out, that's when I needed my husband's encouragement the most. 

When my son's head was out, I remember feeling him turn inside me - not painful but very strange, I didn't know that happened!

Then he slithered out and they passed him straight onto my tummy in one movement. And I wanted to lick him clean - the pain stopped. As he came out they injected me to release the placenta - I didn't know they'd done it. Placenta was gently tugged out later, I was still cuddling my naked son. 

Stitching up took nearly an hour. But I don't know where the time went. It took 4 hours till I was taken to the ward, but it felt like minutes. 

The blood loss afterwards is massive. Use decent towels, change them often. My midwife told me to wee in the shower to stop the burning. First poo I was petrified but it was fine - I made myself relax and it was fine! 

The boob explosion on day 3, combined with constant, unstoppable weeping was really hard after 2 days of elation. And I couldn't sleep for the first 2 days because I was so excited! I was sooooo tired but couldn't sleep! 

Going home was exciting, terrifying and scary. We got home and put my sleeping son in his car seat, in the middle of the living room. And wondered what to do next! 

My stomach was like a massive, floppy cream puff. Spare rolls of flesh everywhere. 6 weeks later I was in my size 12 trousers, although my stomach will never be the same as before children. I didn't diet, I breastfed - and it's very hard to open a packet of crisps with one hand!!!!

Good luck to all of you - remember the birth is just one day of your life, leave your dignity at the door and go to it!! Xx


----------



## aliss

If you breastfeed or express in the beginning but then decide not breastfeed after a few days, weeks, months, whatever, do NOT go cold turkey by just leaving your boobs!!! You *need* to slowly express them, even if you never use them, or you will end up in severe pain or could get a breast infection.


----------



## Armywife

ac1968 said:


> When my son's head was out, I remember feeling him turn inside me - not painful but very strange, I didn't know that happened!
> 
> Good luck to all of you - remember the birth is just one day of your life, leave your dignity at the door and go to it!! Xx

I remember that feeling - it was amazing but in a very odd way! 

That last line is the best advice you could give! Very well said! :thumbup: x


----------



## runnergrl

I know a million ladies have said this already, but Thank you Thank you Thank you all for sharing so openly and honestly. As someone else stated, I have had friends recall their birth stories to me verbally and none of them have been near the descriptions I have found on here.. And you would think my closest friends would have been MORE honest with me! I guess they didnt want to sound undignified or chance scaring me?? I cant really figure it out.

I did learn about the delivering of the placenta after the baby comes out in my childbirth class, but before that I really had no idea. And I knew that you bled some after giving birth, but had no idea about clots and/or the length of time! Some women bleed for 6 weeks? What about going back to work? I cant imagine going back to work after our horrendous 6 week mat leave still bleeding from giving birth!

I think what I am most nervous about is receiving the epidural. I am hoping I dont need it. but I want to be realistic as well. I consider myself a pretty tough lady, but I dont want to beat myself up if I end up going with an epidural after all because I feel like I need it.

What does the injection feel like? Is it absolutely horrible?


----------



## Armywife

aliss said:


> If you do not breastfeed, do NOT go cold turkey by just leaving your boobs!!! You *need* to slowly express them, even if you never use them, or you will end up in severe pain or could get a breast infection.

I did this but they just got worse and worse, mw told me if you express, even a little, it stimulates milk production. When i stopped, it hurt for a day but soon started settling down. I suppose it's down to individuals again?


----------



## Armywife

runnergrl said:


> I know a million ladies have said this already, but Thank you Thank you Thank you all for sharing so openly and honestly. As someone else stated, I have had friends recall their birth stories to me verbally and none of them have been near the descriptions I have found on here.. And you would think my closest friends would have been MORE honest with me! I guess they didnt want to sound undignified or chance scaring me?? I cant really figure it out.
> 
> I did learn about the delivering of the placenta after the baby comes out in my childbirth class, but before that I really had no idea. And I knew that you bled some after giving birth, but had no idea about clots and/or the length of time! Some women bleed for 6 weeks? What about going back to work? I cant imagine going back to work after our horrendous 6 week mat leave still bleeding from giving birth!
> 
> I think what I am most nervous about is receiving the epidural. I am hoping I dont need it. but I want to be realistic as well. I consider myself a pretty tough lady, but I dont want to beat myself up if I end up going with an epidural after all because I feel like I need it.
> 
> What does the injection feel like? Is it absolutely horrible?

Personally i was so exhausted after 36 hours of active labour and in such pain from non stop contractions due to my induction that i didn't feel the epi at all, not one bit. I have to have a section this time tho and am very worried about how it will feel without all that other stuff distracting me! x


----------



## blahblahblah

runnergrl said:


> I know a million ladies have said this already, but Thank you Thank you Thank you all for sharing so openly and honestly. As someone else stated, I have had friends recall their birth stories to me verbally and none of them have been near the descriptions I have found on here.. And you would think my closest friends would have been MORE honest with me! I guess they didnt want to sound undignified or chance scaring me?? I cant really figure it out.
> 
> I did learn about the delivering of the placenta after the baby comes out in my childbirth class, but before that I really had no idea. And I knew that you bled some after giving birth, but had no idea about clots and/or the length of time! Some women bleed for 6 weeks? What about going back to work? I cant imagine going back to work after our horrendous 6 week mat leave still bleeding from giving birth!
> 
> I think what I am most nervous about is receiving the epidural. I am hoping I dont need it. but I want to be realistic as well. I consider myself a pretty tough lady, but I dont want to beat myself up if I end up going with an epidural after all because I feel like I need it.
> 
> What does the injection feel like? Is it absolutely horrible?

The bleeding does slow down as time passes. The first few days are generally horrendous, but within a couple of weeks most people have slowed down to what I'd describe as a medium to light period. If you over-exert yourself, that's when you have a heavy, crampy day.

I had a spinal block, which is given in much the same way as an epidural. My DH gasped at the size of the needle (I didn't see it), but honestly, I didn't feel a thing. I just concentrated on staying still. I was 10cm dilated and had already been pushing by then though, if you have an epidural very early then it might be a bit different.


----------



## runnergrl

I hope not to be in such terrible pain and close contractions because I hear that you have to sit very still or your epidural could be placed incorrectly or not work at all.. This worries me a bit.. how do you sit still amongst painful contractions??


----------



## runnergrl

but then again I dont want to be a wimp and get it when Im not in any pain just due to the fear of pain itself.. if that makes sense.. I guess this would be the case if I were induced.. since I hear induction contractions are far worse than ones that are brought on naturally...


----------



## cbmommy

runnergrl said:


> I know a million ladies have said this already, but Thank you Thank you Thank you all for sharing so openly and honestly. As someone else stated, I have had friends recall their birth stories to me verbally and none of them have been near the descriptions I have found on here.. And you would think my closest friends would have been MORE honest with me! I guess they didnt want to sound undignified or chance scaring me?? I cant really figure it out.
> 
> I did learn about the delivering of the placenta after the baby comes out in my childbirth class, but before that I really had no idea. And I knew that you bled some after giving birth, but had no idea about clots and/or the length of time! Some women bleed for 6 weeks? What about going back to work? I cant imagine going back to work after our horrendous 6 week mat leave still bleeding from giving birth!
> 
> I think what I am most nervous about is receiving the epidural. I am hoping I dont need it. but I want to be realistic as well. I consider myself a pretty tough lady, but I dont want to beat myself up if I end up going with an epidural after all because I feel like I need it.
> 
> What does the injection feel like? Is it absolutely horrible?

The bleeding slows down after awhile. Mine was really heavy for 2 weeks. Then it was just like having a regular period for several weeks after. So it does get better. Some women bleed for 2 weeks. Others longer. Like me. 

As far as the epidural. I was sooooooooooo nervous to get it and I even started hyperventilating and crying when the anestheologist came in. The nurse had to calm me down. The idea of a needle going into my back did not thrill me. But I knew it would help with the excruciating pain of labor I was feeling. Honestly...once I calmed down...the needle didn't hurt at all. It was more like pressure and it's over so quickly. And I am a huge WUSS about stuff like this. Trust me. It's not bad. It's the thought that's bad!


----------



## pumpkim

runnergrl said:


> This worries me a bit.. how do you sit still amongst painful contractions??

That's the part that worries me too :wacko:


----------



## aliss

Armywife said:


> aliss said:
> 
> 
> If you do not breastfeed, do NOT go cold turkey by just leaving your boobs!!! You *need* to slowly express them, even if you never use them, or you will end up in severe pain or could get a breast infection.
> 
> I did this but they just got worse and worse, mw told me if you express, even a little, it stimulates milk production. When i stopped, it hurt for a day but soon started settling down. I suppose it's down to individuals again?Click to expand...

Ooo sorry, I meant if you started it and then decided not to after BFing or expressing for just a few days!! I'll amend my post then


----------



## cbmommy

pumpkim said:


> runnergrl said:
> 
> 
> This worries me a bit.. how do you sit still amongst painful contractions??
> 
> That's the part that worries me too :wacko:Click to expand...

Just tell them not to do it at that moment. And honestly..it happens so quickly that they get it done in between contractions.


----------



## Armywife

runnergrl said:


> I hope not to be in such terrible pain and close contractions because I hear that you have to sit very still or your epidural could be placed incorrectly or not work at all.. This worries me a bit.. how do you sit still amongst painful contractions??

I was so determined that they were gonna get that fecking epidural in as fast as possible that i sat there hunched over a table, g&a in hand and didn't move a muscle! I remember her saying 'This can take up to an hour to be effective because we have to stop when you are having a contraction and then it can take up to half an hour to work' i said to her 'Like Hell it will, get it in!' Haaa! Amazing what you think like in labour!x


----------



## Armywife

aliss said:


> Armywife said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> aliss said:
> 
> 
> If you do not breastfeed, do NOT go cold turkey by just leaving your boobs!!! You *need* to slowly express them, even if you never use them, or you will end up in severe pain or could get a breast infection.
> 
> I did this but they just got worse and worse, mw told me if you express, even a little, it stimulates milk production. When i stopped, it hurt for a day but soon started settling down. I suppose it's down to individuals again?Click to expand...
> 
> Ooo sorry, I meant if you started it and then decided not to after BFing or expressing for just a few days!! I'll amend my post thenClick to expand...

Ahhh, i imagine that would be too much! Understood! x


----------



## cbmommy

And my epidural did not help for the back and pelvic labor I was experiencing. They explained to me that an epidural does not help for that. I wish they would have told me that beforehand!!!! I'm not trying to scare anyone. I just think it's important to be informed. Because I really wish I knew some of this stuff before I had my son.


----------



## aliss

cbmommy said:


> pumpkim said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> runnergrl said:
> 
> 
> This worries me a bit.. how do you sit still amongst painful contractions??
> 
> That's the part that worries me too :wacko:Click to expand...
> 
> Just tell them not to do it at that moment. And honestly..it happens so quickly that they get it done in between contractions.Click to expand...

Yes, the anesthesiologist is very skilled at this - they start it the second your contraction stop and do it so fast, it's done before the next one.

ALSO do keep in mind that if something happens in surgery, etc. you may not be allowed to have an epidural if the anesthesiologist is available. So if you really do want one, take it at the chance it is offered, because you may have to wait for hours. You are on the bottom of the waiting list as a pregnant woman (unless of course you are going in for emergency C-section).


----------



## ac1968

runnergrl said:


> I think what I am most nervous about is receiving the epidural. I am hoping I dont need it. but I want to be realistic as well. I consider myself a pretty tough lady, but I dont want to beat myself up if I end up going with an epidural after all because I feel like I need it.
> 
> What does the injection feel like? Is it absolutely horrible?

I didn't feel a thing. My husband saw the needle and tried to talk me out of it! Ha! I asked the anaesthetist to marry me! They are so skilled - most epidurals are probably given when a woman is in the worst pain of her entire life and cannot keep still. I was punching the wall with pain (yes really, my husband dines out on this story....) They do it between contractions and they are fast. Sometimes it relieves all pain, sometimes only some of it. Mine were both very effective. Agree with another post - take the epidural when you can get it, they are very busy.


----------



## linsayp

One thing that nobody told me was that amniotic fluid smells baaaad.. If I wasn't giving birth I would've thrown up, god knows how the midwife kept her head down there.
You barely feel the placenta, it's nothing compared to the baby you've just pushed out =) the midwife gave me the injection at the top of my thigh, held onto the cord and said do a little push.. Which I'd forgotten how to do even though I'd been pushing for an hour and 20 mins!

Also I wish it had've been stressed to me that every labour is different - not all contractions progressively get stronger and longer! And they're not always at the front, all my pain was in my back (and it stayed there too, never went away just got stronger when a contraction came because baby was back to back)
My first contraction was just as bad as all the rest and not one lasted longer than 30 seconds! Also don't be fooled into thinking that a first baby means long birth, I was 2cm dilated at 2.50am and having pushing contractions by 4.30am.

Bleeding wise I bled for the whole 6 weeks, the first 2 weeks really heavy, the next 2 weeks like a light period, and the next 2 weeks brown discharge. Watch out for clots as I had one the size of 2 fists and found out I had an infection.. I didn't realise you could pick them up just from being in hospital etc, I thought you had to have sex or use a tampon or something!

I don't think it was as bad as I thought it would be, and the beautiful baby makes it worthwhile!!

Good luck girls xx


----------



## RainbowDrop_x

Armywife said:


> aliss said:
> 
> 
> If you do not breastfeed, do NOT go cold turkey by just leaving your boobs!!! You *need* to slowly express them, even if you never use them, or you will end up in severe pain or could get a breast infection.
> 
> I did this but they just got worse and worse, mw told me if you express, even a little, it stimulates milk production. When i stopped, it hurt for a day but soon started settling down. I suppose it's down to individuals again?Click to expand...

My MW told me the same.. She told me even though it would hurt to just let them do what they have to do..Don't touch them..Don't grab them (like you would with any pain) and if you have a shower don't let the shower run on you're boobs for too long as heat can also make you produce more. She said to just take paracetamol every 4 hours and ibuprofen every 6 hours and grin and bare... My milk dried up with 3 days... And yes it did hurt.. All the talk of "I can't wait until LO is here so I can sleep on my front"...Yeah right I still couldn't until she was near on 10 weeks old for the flabby tummy.. The boob ache.. The bleeding!!!

Also people don't tell you how painful periods are after having a baby... I've been on 4 times since having her and I could swear blind if I didn't know any better I would think I was in labour!


----------



## 2ndtimeAbz

Okay,
I'm going to bear all the strange stuff from my labour that I remember from last time, obviously this is my own personal experience....

Getting induced makes the contractions hit you like a ton of bricks, I know its boring waiting but if i had the choice again I would not get induced!
I made some pretty strange noises giving birth, I had the G&A clamped between my teeth, the midwifes told OH that I had to breathe some normal air and when he tried to take it off me I GROWLED at him!
Also OH says he never understood the term - crawling out of your skin - untill he saw me getting through contractions! The one thing that got me though each one was I knew it was going to be over eventually, and that there would be a baby at the end! 
Plus I swore loads and the G&A made me crack jokes to anyone who listen early on :)

One thing I never knew. 
Your body will start doing stuff you cant control - accept it or it can make u panic a bit! The midwife was telling me not to push and my body was pushing and I couldn't stop it from happening.

Don't worry if you have no clue what is going on...some painkillers will do that to you - there are bits I can't remember.
I felt like two different people after birth one was from the waist up and one from the waist down. Waist down I felt steamrollered and it felt alot worse than what it was! 
I was so weak in the shower my OH had to wash me - and I was sat down on a plastic chair in the shower!
The wards are noisy - and a weird environment. Its all very close and unpersonal all at the same time. The food is awful and I couldnt wait to get home - but that is just me. Newborn babies stay all scrunched up for ages, like they're not used to space.
Part of me was a little sad that my bump was gone, 
I felt gross from the waist down for about 2 weeks, then it seemed to calm down. I think sex was resumed from about 6 weeks, as far as I can remember!

Sorry thats long and a bit fragmented!


----------



## Zedfaca

moomoo said:


> Zedfaca said:
> 
> 
> Ooh I have another question if anyone can answer it! Well two questions really. I've got myself a case of the piles. Is there any chance that I'll be able to keep them private or is it just a guarantee that everyone in the room will see? And more importantly- will they go away once the baby stops putting so much pressure on me down there??
> 
> I've got them too. When giving birth I swore I was pooing when infact it was piles "popping" out of my bum. :blush: I mustve looked like a baboon!
> 
> Tbh there's probably no way of hiding them so maybe just let them know before examining you?
> 
> They do suck back up after you've given birth.. Although mine would occasionally play up if constipated xClick to expand...

Oh I think I'll just leave them to find out for themselves. It just nice to know what I'm in for!

I'm glad they will go! I've got one which (sorry gross alert) will NOT be popped out of the way. It just falls back out again!

Thank you and thanks everyone so much for your honesty. It's good to know I'm not alone and so many people have been through it!


----------



## Dream.A.Dream

Zedfaca said:


> moomoo said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Zedfaca said:
> 
> 
> Ooh I have another question if anyone can answer it! Well two questions really. I've got myself a case of the piles. Is there any chance that I'll be able to keep them private or is it just a guarantee that everyone in the room will see? And more importantly- will they go away once the baby stops putting so much pressure on me down there??
> 
> I've got them too. When giving birth I swore I was pooing when infact it was piles "popping" out of my bum. :blush: I mustve looked like a baboon!
> 
> Tbh there's probably no way of hiding them so maybe just let them know before examining you?
> 
> They do suck back up after you've given birth.. Although mine would occasionally play up if constipated xClick to expand...
> 
> Oh I think I'll just leave them to find out for themselves. It just nice to know what I'm in for!
> 
> I'm glad they will go! I've got one which (sorry gross alert) will NOT be popped out of the way. It just falls back out again!
> 
> Thank you and thanks everyone so much for your honesty. It's good to know I'm not alone and so many people have been through it!Click to expand...

I have quite bad ones, they got worse giving birth. Mine aren't getting better unfortunately. The midwife won't even acknowledge that she's seen them though x


----------



## xxsweetkisses

Well well well ladies I have read this thread from page one and for everyone that has posted I want to give you the biggest thanks ever!!!

Even though I am still petrified of labour and giving birth, Knowing all the different things that can happen (that we're never told) has eased the worrying (For now) 


Seriously I cannot thank you all enough!! 


Lots of Love and hugs


xx xx xx xx xx xx


----------



## aliss

Diapers can be fun to deal with :) I had a very colicky fussy baby and the ONLY time he was happy was on his diaper station! So don't worry about those...


----------



## blahblahblah

aliss said:


> Diapers can be fun to deal with :) I had a very colicky fussy baby and the ONLY time he was happy was on his diaper station! So don't worry about those...

Lol, this reminded me of when my LO was newborn, and I couldn't get down to change him on the floor, so we set our dining table up as a makeshift changing station.

You don't believe, until you see(wear) it, that newborn baby poo can shoot out fast enough to land 6 feet away.


----------



## aliss

blahblahblah said:


> aliss said:
> 
> 
> Diapers can be fun to deal with :) I had a very colicky fussy baby and the ONLY time he was happy was on his diaper station! So don't worry about those...
> 
> Lol, this reminded me of when my LO was newborn, and I couldn't get down to change him on the floor, so we set our dining table up as a makeshift changing station.
> 
> You don't believe, until you see(wear) it, that newborn baby poo can shoot out fast enough to land 6 feet away.Click to expand...

LOL! But watch out if you have a dog :sick:, they love it :dohh:


----------



## 2ndtimeAbz

Eeww!!


----------



## Tadan

Eww! lol

Ohh i have a question, MIL said something about G&A making you 'randy'? please tell me this is not true.. i dont want to be, and i quote, "jumping on" OH lol


----------



## aliss

Tadan said:


> Eww! lol
> 
> Ohh i have a question, MIL said something about G&A making you 'randy'? please tell me this is not true.. i dont want to be, and i quote, "jumping on" OH lol

She must be pulling your leg or have some kind of freaky fetish... :wacko: I just got dizzy off of it.


----------



## 2ndtimeAbz

lol, not me i just think I'm a genius stand up comedian on the G&A! lol


----------



## Tadan

aliss said:


> Tadan said:
> 
> 
> Eww! lol
> 
> Ohh i have a question, MIL said something about G&A making you 'randy'? please tell me this is not true.. i dont want to be, and i quote, "jumping on" OH lol
> 
> She must be pulling your leg or have some kind of freaky fetish... :wacko: I just got dizzy off of it.Click to expand...

Oh she was deadly serious lol.. yeah maybe it was just her! I've heard lots of stories that it makes you feel sick or light headed, so I was quite shocked :lol:


----------



## charlene7828

Tadan said:


> Eww! lol
> 
> Ohh i have a question, MIL said something about G&A making you 'randy'? please tell me this is not true.. i dont want to be, and i quote, "jumping on" OH lol

g&a just made me sick... as soon as it was put to my mouth i vomited!! and with second baby wen the nurse suggested it to me,. i vomited!! i just remembered it r something, 4 years after!!


----------



## Dream.A.Dream

G&A just made me drunk and giggly xx


----------



## lulu35

if your offered (or even ask) a bath in the early stages of labour take it!!!.....apart from the epidural i found this great for pain relief in the beginning, til i started on the gas and air..lol x


----------



## Hunnybear

chelsea1978 said:


> im not saying anyone is naive, but every new unpleasant experience you read about is naturally going to make you worry and think "oh god i hope that doesnt happen to me" when chances are it may not and you have worried for nothing.
> 
> as i said in my other posts, some tips and advice here are helpful, but i think if someone has a question that they want an honest answer to (based on someone else's experience) its far better to post that separately than to have a whole load of women jumping on the bandwagon with more and more things that you "must prepare for"
> 
> you only have to look at some of the ladies responses to see that it is scaring people....

I'm the kind of person that would rather know. I realize and even hope it won't all happen to me, but I prefer to be prepared and knowledgable if it does. Does it scare me? Yes for sure! But I think I am better able to cope with hard facts versus mushy idealistic stories as they allow me to prepare for the worst and be happy when/if I have a better experience.

Plus we are all grown ups so if they don't feel this way, stop reading! Ignorance is bliss for some and that's fine


----------



## Hunnybear

CottlestonPie said:


> I had no idea... I thought an epidural was a fixed dose and that was that. I'm hoping not to have one but that's very good to know, in case it does come to that!

Epidurals stay in there and there is constant medication flow which can be adjusted by the patient or doctor. The one time thing is called a spinal and is just a sinks dose to the spine, another pain option


----------



## Hunnybear

aliss said:


> Another thing I didn't know is that "pushing" is extremely important for your baby's safety. I'm not sure if it's because I was clueless or because I was too exhausted to care, but I didn't feel like pushing in the end, because I could feel the baby slowly coming out. Anyways, my lack of pushing ended up contributing to my son having an injury in the birth, something that I do regret to this day. So just keep in mind, no matter how exhausted, to put 100% effort into pushing. Contractions are something you have to "endure" (they're going to happen no matter what) but pushing is something you really need to be proactive about :)

This is one personal experience that is purely personal experience and does not apply to everyone. If you look it up actually you can have a safe and natural childbirth with no pushing at all ad allowing your contractions to dothe work. However if there are conditions in which it is necessary I don't doubt it might help I guess. 

But I think you should look it up as it is said that modern pushing is more of a medical convenience and you may be blaming yourself needlessly


----------



## Tadan

Another question: 
With all the pain relief options such as the epidural or pethadine, I know pethadine can make you dopey, doesn't it affect the baby too?? And are there any side effects after the birth is over? Like do they hinder you in getting up to see to baby, etc or is it just short term during labour?


----------



## flubdub

Tadan said:


> Another question:
> With all the pain relief options such as the epidural or pethadine, I know pethadine can make you dopey, doesn't it affect the baby too?? And are there any side effects after the birth is over? Like do they hinder you in getting up to see to baby, etc or is it just short term during labour?

Pethedine does make baby dopey yes, and can do for a couple of days. Both of mine were - never cried or woke up really for about 2 days. 
But it doesnt hinder you in anyway, you can move around as much as you would without it.


----------



## evewidow

Tadan said:


> Another question:
> With all the pain relief options such as the epidural or pethadine, I know pethadine can make you dopey, doesn't it affect the baby too?? And are there any side effects after the birth is over? Like do they hinder you in getting up to see to baby, etc or is it just short term during labour?

it didnt really make ds1 dopey , i think it depends on how long you have it before the baby is born though as i have heard people saying it made their kids dipey for a while.
for me i had no side affects it wore off pretty quickly , but i didnt really like it , i didn have it second time round. for me i felt stoned , everything was delayed and i wasnt really listening to the midwives i was off my head haha. when ds1 popped out i went oh look its a baby .....like what was it gonna be haha


----------



## lauren-kate

Your waters can 'gush' more than once. I had fore-waters (in front of his head) and hind-waters (behind his head). So my fore-waters gushed at home and then trickled until another big gush when the hind-waters went in hospital.

It doesn't always hurt when they check your dilation - I didn't feel it AT ALL.


----------



## flubdub

lauren-kate said:


> Your waters can 'gush' more than once. I had fore-waters (in front of his head) and hind-waters (behind his head). So my fore-waters gushed at home and then trickled until another big gush when the hind-waters went in hospital.
> 
> *It doesn't always hurt when they check your dilation - I didn't feel it AT ALL.*

Me neither x


----------



## LuckyStarr

I had pethadine, I asked the midwife for her advice and she said that it was the best thing and that it wouldn't make baby dopey as we had more than 6 hours to go. 

I actually have less she was here in 4 hours but she wasn't sleepy at all. And I found it amazing it took the edge off the contractions and made me sleepy enough to doze off between contractions.


----------



## alynn6758

All I can say is this is a great thread to prepare new moms, and even refresh us veterans, and I wish I had known something like this was out there back in 2001 when I had my first little boy...I wasn't prepared at all for afterwards...labor and birth was easy, totally prepared it all went well, but afterwards, I had no clue what was waiting...with my 2nd I knew better, and that really helped...so I think its great this thread is helping ladies to know that its not all just labor and birth and holding a baby...of course the holding baby part helps you get through everything later :) just like the tips and advice on this thread :)


----------



## lauren-kate

alynn6758 said:


> All I can say is this is a great thread to prepare new moms, and even refresh us veterans, and I wish I had known something like this was out there back in 2001 when I had my first little boy...I wasn't prepared at all for afterwards...labor and birth was easy, totally prepared it all went well, but afterwards, I had no clue what was waiting...with my 2nd I knew better, and that really helped...so I think its great this thread is helping ladies to know that its not all just labor and birth and holding a baby...of course the holding baby part helps you get through everything later :) just like the tips and advice on this thread :)

Also, it's good that it's not all scare-stories.. a lot of it is quite reassuring. I think it's good to know that we're all going through the same kind of thing, and also that there is so much variation. In RL a lot of people tend to focus on which bits hurt, etc rather than what happens.


----------



## dizzyisacow

my turn!
i had a c section and these are my words of wisdom.

the epidural didnt hurt at all but i expected it to so was scared and shouldnt have been!
and all through the section the bloody catheter hurt and i kept going on and on about it and my doc got worried the epidural wasnt working! but im glad of it because it kept me distracted.
i kind of didnt like how i could still feel and move my legs! because i assumed i couldnt move at all and i made them double check i couldnt feel pain.
i personally only bled for 5/6 days and a very little amount just like a period!
it helped me to wear something tightish around my stomach afterwards
it was hell in the car ride home after spending 3 days at hospital. all bumps hurt and i was in tears
i knew to expect the hormones on day 3 and tears but i trully thought i was depressed and felt so low i wanted to take anti depressants im very glad it only lasted about 2 days!!
they made me have a shower the day after and they helped me. i didnt like that at all! but they said i had to and i did need help as i couldnt really bend or anything.
the day after the made me stand up and i blacked out even though i immediately got in a chair and i got scared but its normal.
during the cection you will feel alot of movement while they tug push pull and everything when it gets to the worst part it means baby will come out soon.
i dont know why but i got worried when i heard the baby cry! haha. i remember that now and think how stupid its supposed to cry!
the doctor kept asking me after if i farted and to let him know when i do. i dont know why but i think it has something to do with if everythings back in place.
i felt completely normal right after. not out of it or in pain or anything! but i did have 2 things happen i didnt expect.
the first is i got a bad pain in my shoulder i was crying it hurt so bad but they gave me a shot for it and it went right away. the other was i was itching all over alot non stop and thought it was normal but when my DH told them they said its a reaction to some of the stuff they gave me so they gave me another shot for that and it went away!
i also didnt expect them to change my pads but i just didnt look so didnt really care.
oh and one more thing i couldnt sleep on my side for a week or so after and this meant i never got to have a deep sleep because i cant sleep on my back!


----------



## Zedfaca

I've thought of something else I was wondering about. I don't know if I'm having a boy or girl. Is this something the midwife will tell me or will she try to let me or my husband find out for ourselves? What's happened to other people in this situation?


----------



## aliss

Hunnybear said:


> aliss said:
> 
> 
> Another thing I didn't know is that "pushing" is extremely important for your baby's safety. I'm not sure if it's because I was clueless or because I was too exhausted to care, but I didn't feel like pushing in the end, because I could feel the baby slowly coming out. Anyways, my lack of pushing ended up contributing to my son having an injury in the birth, something that I do regret to this day. So just keep in mind, no matter how exhausted, to put 100% effort into pushing. Contractions are something you have to "endure" (they're going to happen no matter what) but pushing is something you really need to be proactive about :)
> 
> This is one personal experience that is purely personal experience and does not apply to everyone. If you look it up actually you can have a safe and natural childbirth with no pushing at all ad allowing your contractions to dothe work. However if there are conditions in which it is necessary I don't doubt it might help I guess.
> 
> But I think you should look it up as it is said that modern pushing is more of a medical convenience and you may be blaming yourself needlesslyClick to expand...

Yes I am well aware of traditional childbirth methods promoted by someone like Ina May (my bible during the pregnancy). It was for that exact reason that after 3 days of labour and complete exhaustion I tried to let the contractions do their work. It was that lack of pushing for almost 4 hours that could have killed my baby. Believe me, I am beyond traumatized including postnatal depression for 4 months from what happened to him and I have looked this up over and over, I know what happened.

Bottom line -_ do what the doctor or midwife says._ If she says it's fine to not push, then okay, but the vast majority will tell you to push and you need to listen to their instructions.


----------



## Armywife

Hunnybear said:


> aliss said:
> 
> 
> Another thing I didn't know is that "pushing" is extremely important for your baby's safety. I'm not sure if it's because I was clueless or because I was too exhausted to care, but I didn't feel like pushing in the end, because I could feel the baby slowly coming out. Anyways, my lack of pushing ended up contributing to my son having an injury in the birth, something that I do regret to this day. So just keep in mind, no matter how exhausted, to put 100% effort into pushing. Contractions are something you have to "endure" (they're going to happen no matter what) but pushing is something you really need to be proactive about :)
> 
> This is one personal experience that is purely personal experience and does not apply to everyone. If you look it up actually you can have a safe and natural childbirth with no pushing at all ad allowing your contractions to dothe work. However if there are conditions in which it is necessary I don't doubt it might help I guess.
> 
> But I think you should look it up as it is said that modern pushing is more of a medical convenience and you may be blaming yourself needlesslyClick to expand...

I have to disagree _slightly _with this post. When you have a long, difficult labour where baby isn't presented properly your contractions don't always do what they are supposed to and it is mostly up to you to do the pushing or baby isn't going anywhere which can be very dangerous. If it were the case that most women could have a safe delivery without pushing and relying on contractions alone assisted deliveries wouldn't be so common.

It's true that it is possible to rely on your body to give birth and push when needed etc but it's not all that uncommon for this not to be the case. Same as everything, just depends on the circumstances but always best to be prepared! If the midwife is telling me to push, i'm pushing! :thumbup:


----------



## CottlestonPie

Zedfaca said:


> I've thought of something else I was wondering about. I don't know if I'm having a boy or girl. Is this something the midwife will tell me or will she try to let me or my husband find out for ourselves? What's happened to other people in this situation?

I think you might be able to tell them what you want to happen.
If you're doing a birthing plan, if you don't want the midwife to tell you, I'd put in there something about the baby being passed directly mum to find out and that the midwife is not to disclose the sex of the baby.


----------



## Armywife

Zedfaca said:


> I've thought of something else I was wondering about. I don't know if I'm having a boy or girl. Is this something the midwife will tell me or will she try to let me or my husband find out for ourselves? What's happened to other people in this situation?

Usually you would decide this and put it in your birthing plan. I'd also advise that you tell the delievring mw who you want to announce the sex/cut the cord etc as in my experience they don't always read your birth plan! Of course if there are any problems it may not be possible for hubby or yourself to do those things but make sure they know what you'd like to happen in ideal conditions :thumbup:


----------



## Tadan

(sorry for being lazy to find and quote the post again..)

In regards to the showering after.. do they have to help you? argh! Is this only with a c-section or all births? I feel really uncomfortable being naked in a shower with nurses...


----------



## Zedfaca

Oh I've already done my birth plan and it doesn't say anything about it. My midwife just fired about five questions at me, scribbled down my answers and that was that. I'll make sure I add something on. Well I don't mind too much if someone else tells me but it would be nicer for me and my husband to find out together. I think I'll also get him to warn them on the day because I bet for the nurses everyone's birth plans just blur into one. Oh and I'm really sorry I can't thank anyone with the special button! It keeps saying there's an error every time!


----------



## Armywife

Tadan said:


> (sorry for being lazy to find and quote the post again..)
> 
> In regards to the showering after.. do they have to help you? argh! Is this only with a c-section or all births? I feel really uncomfortable being naked in a shower with nurses...

I didn't need help with my natural birth, not sure about sections though, would be interesting to know!


----------



## evewidow

@zedfaca i would tell your oh that when it gets to the pushing stage for him to say to the midwife he wants to find out sex that you dont want to be told . 

i honestly cant remember if they told me my boys were boys or if hubby did ..hmm perhaps i should remember something like that haha 

with regards to showers , after ds1 they did me a bath and just told me it was ready and told hubby to help me in , they did say for me not to pull the plug out though but just to get out when ready and i had to leave the door unlocked so they could come to my aid if necessary.

with ds2 the room i was in had an en suite shower , midwife said go shower and do a wee in the shower , she told me to hold the rail and asked hubby to watch me in case i was wobbly on my feet they never stayed with me.


----------



## Tadan

That is reasurring! Thanks :)


----------



## pester

blahblahblah said:


> Also, everything you read tells you about 'the rush of love' - but loads of women don't have it and beat themselves up over it. In truth, probably about half of new mums get it, and it's completely normal wither way. It doesn't mean you won't love your baby in the long run, but it can take weeks for you to feel the way you think you should.

Thanks So much for sharing this. I think one of my biggest worries is not feeling attched to my baby. I can be slow to attch emontionaly to others and I am scared that I won't attach to my LO its so good to know that not eveyone is "immediatly" head over heels in love and others have taken time to grow into it.


----------



## Armywife

I didn't even want to look at Poppy let alone hold her! I was so so tired and in agony and being sick. It was more like 'Oh yeah, a baby...can i please go to sleep?' It was months before i got that rush of love x


----------



## flubdub

Tadan said:


> (sorry for being lazy to find and quote the post again..)
> 
> In regards to the showering after.. do they have to help you? argh! Is this only with a c-section or all births? I feel really uncomfortable being naked in a shower with nurses...

No, with my first, the mw ran me a bath, and after 30 secs I got back out. The water was bright red! She left the room and if she hadnt , I would have asked her too.

With #2, I had a shower, but again was only in there for a minute at the most. Literally run water over me, and get out. The midwives just left me to it. Obv, if I was in pain, or had had an epi or c sec, they would help.


----------



## RainbowDrop_x

Oh I've thought of something else..(Sorry if it's already been said though)

After the birth and getting home etc you don't instantly feel "Yourself". You still feel crap,unattractive and the baby blues (if you get it) doesn't help.. Alot of first time pregnant ladies (me included) assumed that when baby was here I would be able to sleep better..Not a full nights sleep but just better...Nope.. That first night home I can promise you WILL be sat with you're head over the baby the WHOLE night..You will not sleep..You will be checking on LO constantly... You will still be tired & achy. And as much as people say it..You won't sleep when the baby sleeps..Even though you should..You will be so in awe of the little person you made that when you're not feeding/changing/winding/ them..You will be cooing over them.

Oh and another thing..Newborns are really boring..Sounds awful but it's true..All they do is eat/sleep/cry/poop/burp and sleep some more..Don't expect them to be all alert and laughing like they do on the soaps..Because their not!!!!


----------



## flubdub

evewidow said:


> @zedfaca i would tell your oh that when it gets to the pushing stage for him to say to the midwife he wants to find out sex that you dont want to be told .
> 
> i honestly cant remember if they told me my boys were boys or if hubby did ..hmm perhaps i should remember something like that haha
> 
> with regards to showers , after ds1 they did me a bath and just told me it was ready and told hubby to help me in , they did say for me *not to pull the plug out* though but just to get out when ready and i had to leave the door unlocked so they could come to my aid if necessary.
> 
> with ds2 the room i was in had an en suite shower , midwife said go shower and *do a wee in the shower* , she told me to hold the rail and asked hubby to watch me in case i was wobbly on my feet they never stayed with me.

Do you know why they said this? Im not sure if I was told to pull the plug out or not with #1 when I had a bath. With #2 I had a shower but wasnt told to wee in it or anything. Was it so it didnt sting?


----------



## Danii

What experiences do you have of thaat first time alone with the LO.. Im really scared about that... Being on my own for the first time.. I guess that just comes with being a first time mum... But if you dont feel comfortable going home from hospital will they let you stay there for say a night? I would just really like having that first night knowing that there was a MW nearby... I know that sounds slightly daft.. But im just a tad scared about that...


----------



## Stevensmummyx

With regards to my first bath the mw just ran it for me and helped me in and told me to pul a string if I was sick which I was and she came and helped my get dried and tbh I'm glad she did as my head was still really spinning I can't remember her ever checking my first wee or my pads tho x


----------



## evewidow

flubdub said:


> evewidow said:
> 
> 
> @zedfaca i would tell your oh that when it gets to the pushing stage for him to say to the midwife he wants to find out sex that you dont want to be told .
> 
> i honestly cant remember if they told me my boys were boys or if hubby did ..hmm perhaps i should remember something like that haha
> 
> with regards to showers , after ds1 they did me a bath and just told me it was ready and told hubby to help me in , they did say for me *not to pull the plug out* though but just to get out when ready and i had to leave the door unlocked so they could come to my aid if necessary.
> 
> with ds2 the room i was in had an en suite shower , midwife said go shower and *do a wee in the shower* , she told me to hold the rail and asked hubby to watch me in case i was wobbly on my feet they never stayed with me.
> 
> Do you know why they said this? Im not sure if I was told to pull the plug out or not with #1 when I had a bath. With #2 I had a shower but wasnt told to wee in it or anything. Was it so it didnt sting?Click to expand...

i presume the wee in the shower was for the sting yes , and i presume the bath thing was so they could monitor blood loss maybe i had had lots of stiches that time ..never really thought about it at the time tbh .


----------



## Armywife

Danii said:


> What experiences do you have of thaat first time alone with the LO.. Im really scared about that... Being on my own for the first time.. I guess that just comes with being a first time mum... But if you dont feel comfortable going home from hospital will they let you stay there for say a night? I would just really like having that first night knowing that there was a MW nearby... I know that sounds slightly daft.. But im just a tad scared about that...

The hospital i gave birth at was rubbish and under staffed so i was left alone in a room with Poppy all night and had to keep ringing my call bell for help as i was throwing up all night and in agony. I was told i'd have to stay in for at least 3 days due to the tearing etc i had but i discharged myself the next day. 

When we first got home we put Poppy on the floor in her car seat, she was fast asleep and we just sat there looking at her like 'What do we do?' So hubby went to the chippy and we ate then she woke for a feed and it honestly just flowed from there. It's funny but you soon get into the swing of it (not that its always easy). I'd much prefer to be at home than in hospital, i never thought i'd say that when i was pregnant last time! x


----------



## JeepGirl

This is one of the best threads on BnB!!! Thank you to all you ladies who have shared your experinces. I'm not at all scared of giving birth... although I feel like I should be lol. But after reading all this, I feel better prepared for what may happen after.

Maybe the admins should make this a sticky???


----------



## moomoo

Armywife said:


> I didn't even want to look at Poppy let alone hold her! I was so so tired and in agony and being sick. It was more like 'Oh yeah, a baby...can i please go to sleep?' It was months before i got that rush of love x

I was the same... I felt really unattached for a long time. Like I was looking after someone elses baby!!?


----------



## Zedfaca

moomoo said:


> Armywife said:
> 
> 
> I didn't even want to look at Poppy let alone hold her! I was so so tired and in agony and being sick. It was more like 'Oh yeah, a baby...can i please go to sleep?' It was months before i got that rush of love x
> 
> I was the same... I felt really unattached for a long time. Like I was looking after someone elses baby!!?Click to expand...

This might sound odd but I'm worried the baby won't like ME. I don't know if I'm alone in that. You hear about mums who feel detached from their baby at first (which sounds totally understandable considering how overwhelming it all is!) but no one says if they worry about it being the other way round.


----------



## evewidow

Danii said:


> What experiences do you have of thaat first time alone with the LO.. Im really scared about that... Being on my own for the first time.. I guess that just comes with being a first time mum... But if you dont feel comfortable going home from hospital will they let you stay there for say a night? I would just really like having that first night knowing that there was a MW nearby... I know that sounds slightly daft.. But im just a tad scared about that...

when ds1 was born and hubby went home , i wasnt that worried , i did have to ask the midwife how to change him and asked if i was feeding him right etc - normal things. but once we got hme as someone else said it just kinda flowed . we fed him . changed him , watched him sleep etc and the midwife came the following morning anyway . i rang them up once about his cord but i dont think i was scared and i had never even held a baby before. i think you are more relaxed at home cus at hospital i felt like i was being watched all the time.


----------



## aliss

Zedfaca said:


> moomoo said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Armywife said:
> 
> 
> I didn't even want to look at Poppy let alone hold her! I was so so tired and in agony and being sick. It was more like 'Oh yeah, a baby...can i please go to sleep?' It was months before i got that rush of love x
> 
> I was the same... I felt really unattached for a long time. Like I was looking after someone elses baby!!?Click to expand...
> 
> This might sound odd but I'm worried the baby won't like ME. I don't know if I'm alone in that. You hear about mums who feel detached from their baby at first (which sounds totally understandable considering how overwhelming it all is!) but no one says if they worry about it being the other way round.Click to expand...

With PND and a very colicky baby, I used to think that he hated me and that I did everything wrong. Truth is they don't have the mental capacity to hate anyone ~ that's not an emotion an infant can have, I don't think. If you ever feel that way (and you might), just try and remind yourself it's not possible :)


----------



## lisaf

Thank you thank you thank you ladies! I have found some of these tips before in places like 'top 10 things they don't tell you about childbirth' etc... but individual experiences are so great because not everyone has the same experience.
I don't expect this stuff to happen to me, but I don't want to be sitting there panicking if it happens!

My friend told me the shower looked like a scene from psycho when she was done :sick:


----------



## Emsbambino

I think this thread is fab just shows how different peoples experiences can be, it has really helped.......thank you


----------



## jollymum

Thanks everyone, this thread is great, especially for an anxious first timer...I hadn't even considered the stuff that comes afterwards! At least I can mentally prepare myself if nothing else.

I was just wondering, with regards to the bleeding how do you distinguish between how much is normal and how much is abnormal? 

Thanks again, I agree that this thread should be made a sticky! XxX


----------



## Tadan

I totally agree, this has been a god send, I am now actually feeling prepared for the birth (even if it is 9/10 weeks away!) 

I second the question on bleeding, I'd love to know the answer to that :)


----------



## LJaydow

I can honestly say that because of the honesty of peoples experiences, I have so much more of a clue about what will happen that you dont read in the books, that I am possibly looking forward to the birthing process now rather than being terrified!

Thank you to you all!
x


----------



## Danii

jollymum said:


> Thanks everyone, this thread is great, especially for an anxious first timer...I hadn't even considered the stuff that comes afterwards! At least I can mentally prepare myself if nothing else.
> 
> I was just wondering, with regards to the bleeding how do you distinguish between how much is normal and how much is abnormal?
> 
> Thanks again, I agree that this thread should be made a sticky! XxX

From what I have gathered from reading through - It is entirely individual, I think that just listening to your body and if you feel like your are bleeding too much, then get in touch with your midwife...


----------



## Zedfaca

I thought it was something to do with clot sizes. Like bigger than a golf ball size? I'm not 100% though


----------



## 2ndtimeAbz

I was told to ring if i got any clots bigger than a golf ball, and also they just asked for updates when they came round for home visits :)


----------



## jollymum

Zedfaca said:


> I thought it was something to do with clot sizes. Like bigger than a golf ball size? I'm not 100% though


Clots bigger than a golf ball :shock::shock: OMG! That's terrifying! 

I'm so glad I've found this out now!!


----------



## vitriolic_vix

You ladies are amazing! Thank you all so much! Having been in hospital over the past couple of weeks on the maternity ward i'm no longer so freaked out by the labour but was terrified of the bit afterwards! Its good to be prepared and feel like you know what is going onbecause i am the sort of person to freak out otherwise!

One question i did want to ask was about babys cord following birth? it is true they have a little stump or something which falls off???


----------



## Danii

vitriolic_vix said:


> You ladies are amazing! Thank you all so much! Having been in hospital over the past couple of weeks on the maternity ward i'm no longer so freaked out by the labour but was terrified of the bit afterwards! Its good to be prepared and feel like you know what is going onbecause i am the sort of person to freak out otherwise!
> 
> One question i did want to ask was about babys cord following birth? it is true they have a little stump or *something which falls off???*

OMG - What do you do with it when it does!?:wacko:


----------



## 2ndtimeAbz

I put my little girls in the bin?


----------



## MumtoJ

The umbilical cord is cut and the bit that was attached to baby slowly dries out and falls off making the belly button ... I just binned DSs when it fell off. His got wet as his nappy kept riding up covering it so got a bit soft and smelly but when it came off he was fine. You jut try and keep it clean and dry only takes a week - 10 days (or so before it comes off).

Also even though I am a 2nd time mum to be my first was a section and I am considering a VBAC this time (scan at end Jan to make up my mind) so have found this thread fab for understanding some of the possible differences between the two. and also the possible differences between 1st and 2nd births (such as the after pains increasing) so thank you to all.

The one thing I wasn't expecting after the birth was having been put on a iv drip due to blood loss during my section - I had preveria - was that I would balloon up from a size 10 to a size 16 (uk) I had to send MIL out to get me some knickers that would fit as I couldn't get the ones I had taken with me past my knees ... not great when trying to keep a pad in place !!!! 

I also got the pain in my shoulders from the section and didn't tolerate the shot they gave me (morphine) but the MW's gave me peppermint water which did help and paracetamol but I did have to keep asking for it.

Oh another thing was with having been pumped full of so much fluids it was making its way out of every oriface going so bfing, and weeing but also pooing was pretty liquid as well which meant a quick dash or a big mess !!!

I was in High Dependancy so ballooning up so much is not normal or having to get rid of so much fluids but worth knowing about and pre-warning OH's so that if it does happen they can arrange an appropriate change of clothes for when your ready.

And as others have said - it really can't be too bad as I've decided to do it all again!!!!


----------



## peonies

This thread is fab :thumbup:

I have a few questions!

Do you bleed afterwards even if you have a c-section? If so is it more/less?

Has anyone had to be given a sponge bath? For some reason the idea of one really bothers me!

Lastly, when/how often does the midwife come and see you afterwards? Or is it a health visitor? Do you have to call and ask them to come or do they just turn up?

Thankyou ladies for all your amazing advice! very much appreciated & I hope that in a few weeks I can come and share my experiences in return, always nice to give something back. Seems to me that that's the best thing about forums like this :flower:


----------



## 0_o

peonies said:


> This thread is fab :thumbup:
> 
> I have a few questions!
> 
> Do you bleed afterwards even if you have a c-section? If so is it more/less?
> 
> Has anyone had to be given a sponge bath? For some reason the idea of one really bothers me!
> 
> Lastly, when/how often does the midwife come and see you afterwards? Or is it a health visitor? Do you have to call and ask them to come or do they just turn up?
> 
> Thankyou ladies for all your amazing advice! very much appreciated & I hope that in a few weeks I can come and share my experiences in return, always nice to give something back. Seems to me that that's the best thing about forums like this :flower:

You bleed the same no matter how you give birth. It would be great if they just sucked everything out while doing the section, but sadly not!

I had a top half wash down! I think that was after my section. I don't remember from all the drugs lol. 

I had an emergency section with my ds. Nobody warned me about the awful horrid pain I would have after... not in the scar area no... I'm my shoulder! I could barely move my arm. It's quite normal apparently. XX


----------



## Franki83

whats different from the movies?
A LOT!
-it is not all beautiful, honestly, by the time i was giving birth a whole football team could have come and had a look up there and i wouldn't have flinched, if i thought it would have helped, lol. you do lose dignity but its actually a good thing, you are doing this to get your child into the world, not trying to keep your modesty, lol.

-after the baby is born and you are allowed home, your local midwife does come and do home visits, she will ask you questions from your general health to mental health etc, because they can be the best people to help with baby blues etc, and can quite often notice the signs before you do. she will feel around your stomach too to tell you how well your uterus is going down just to make sure everything is going back into its normal place.
she will also do baby's heel prick test, i have always left the room for this as hearing that little whinge made me cringe. it does no harm to your baby at all, so do not worry about that, and it only takes a few seconds. im just a wuss, lol.
eventually, depending on how midwife feels about you, you will be transferred over to your health visitor, who will come over with some info booklets etc for you and will offer the support services that are available in your area. with my first, it was 10 days then i was transferred over, my second it was 5. 
they do not come everyday, but do let you know when they are coming. 
-As watching on movies about waters breaking... well, for me it was opposite, both of mine i have had to have my waters broken for me. doesn't really hurt just slight discomfort. apparently i have strong membranes. when i was having my son, i was fully dilated, he wanted to come, the midwife was trying everything, i shouted a few times at her to break my waters for me, especially when i was told that if they didnt go soon i was going to get prepped for theatre as Jacob was getting distressed! low and behold, she got the crotchet hook looking thing, broke my waters, 5 mins later i was holding him. my fastest labor at 1hr 45mins from start to finish, lol.
-Do not hesitate to ask your midwife or health visitor anything, even if it is in your mind the stupidest thing ever, it is what they are there for if you need some information or reassurance. 
- Ooooh, something i do remember and i will give warning about, lol, if you are going to breastfeed, be careful of your diet! i used to have 2 jars for coffee, one decaff, one full fuel.... my sis one day was making the cuppas, i noticed my baby Emily wasnt sleeping, she had eyes like saucers! i eventually figured out she was on a caffeine high as my sister had totally forgotten to use the decaff for me, lol. 


I am onto my 3rd bubba, and trust me, there are still things that i am still learning, and i still ask about. just because i have 2 children already, Emily 7, Jacob 4 today, does not make me an expert. but there are alot of funny stories to tell from my experiences of them growing up, and i am sure there will be alot more! lol


----------



## EmzyJA

just wanna say thank you so much for this post. i have found it extremely helpful and feel much more clued up about birth. i am aware that everyones experiences are different and its fab to see what different people have been through and gives you a rough idea of what to expect and not to worry about some of these things as they're normal. 

i am a bit worried about giving birth but i know its gonna happen and i just have to deal with it. if so many other women have done it then so can i.


----------



## Franki83

This is a bloody good thread! It has reminded me of some things i have forgotten about to be honest. 
yes, you do go through alot of pain or discomfort etc, but its weird, you can describe it, but you do forget it. i mentioned this to my friend who had her first in June, and even she has said the same thing, she can vaguely remember the pain, but its almost as though its been wiped from memory. But you can remember the motions you went through.


----------



## Armywife

Zedfaca said:


> moomoo said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Armywife said:
> 
> 
> I didn't even want to look at Poppy let alone hold her! I was so so tired and in agony and being sick. It was more like 'Oh yeah, a baby...can i please go to sleep?' It was months before i got that rush of love x
> 
> I was the same... I felt really unattached for a long time. Like I was looking after someone elses baby!!?Click to expand...
> 
> This might sound odd but I'm worried the baby won't like ME. I don't know if I'm alone in that. You hear about mums who feel detached from their baby at first (which sounds totally understandable considering how overwhelming it all is!) but no one says if they worry about it being the other way round.Click to expand...

I had PND after i had Poppy and was convinced she didn't like me or want me to be her mummy for months! She would settle so easily for hubby but not for me and i was convinced it was due to the fact that i couldn't hold her for hours after she was born as i was having my op etc and that hubby had held her that entire time. I thought she thought i was a bad mum. You soon realise that babies are funny like that, they just settle wherever they like and it was probably because i felt so uptight that she wasn't so comfortable with me. Your baby will love you to death because you are their mummy, it is just a while before they can show that x


----------



## Zedfaca

Armywife said:


> Zedfaca said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> moomoo said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Armywife said:
> 
> 
> I didn't even want to look at Poppy let alone hold her! I was so so tired and in agony and being sick. It was more like 'Oh yeah, a baby...can i please go to sleep?' It was months before i got that rush of love x
> 
> I was the same... I felt really unattached for a long time. Like I was looking after someone elses baby!!?Click to expand...
> 
> This might sound odd but I'm worried the baby won't like ME. I don't know if I'm alone in that. You hear about mums who feel detached from their baby at first (which sounds totally understandable considering how overwhelming it all is!) but no one says if they worry about it being the other way round.Click to expand...
> 
> I had PND after i had Poppy and was convinced she didn't like me or want me to be her mummy for months! She would settle so easily for hubby but not for me and i was convinced it was due to the fact that i couldn't hold her for hours after she was born as i was having my op etc and that hubby had held her that entire time. I thought she thought i was a bad mum. You soon realise that babies are funny like that, they just settle wherever they like and it was probably because i felt so uptight that she wasn't so comfortable with me. Your baby will love you to death because you are their mummy, it is just a while before they can show that xClick to expand...

Oh I'm so glad it wasn't just me being nutty! Yes, I feel more confident that the baby will like my husband than like me. I guess it's just me thinking well of course it will like him, he's great! I'm not so sure about myself. I think maybe at the end of pregnancy and beginning of parenting, you feel like a bit of an impostor! Like I'm not a mum, I'm just some girl with a baby!


----------



## vitriolic_vix

ok another silly question from me about nursing bras - my list from the hospital says that I should have them with me but how do I know what size to get if they grow so much? or do i buy one in the same size as my maternity bras for the first couple of days and then get some bigger ones once my milk has come in?? :shrug:

I've already gone from a 34b to a D and intend to get measured again in couple of weeks time when the 3rd trimester spread kicks in again so should I be mindful of this when i get measured??:shrug::shrug:


----------



## pumpkim

Danii said:


> vitriolic_vix said:
> 
> 
> One question i did want to ask was about babys cord following birth? it is true they have a little stump or *something which falls off???*
> 
> OMG - What do you do with it when it does!?:wacko:Click to expand...

I was thinking about this the other night and I said to my DH, do we just put it in the bin, and he looked at me like I was crazy and said "what would you suggest - pickling it":dohh::blush::haha:


----------



## Armywife

I have a major fear of tummy buttons :blush: so i was soooo dreading dealing with this! It was pretty gross to look at but hubby dealt with all things in that area to begin with. Poppy was in hospital for her first op when hers fell off so they 'disposed of it' for us :sick: my sister said she just put her daughters in a nappy sack and threw it in the bin :sick:

This is a good explination...https://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/newborn/babysnavel/


----------



## aliss

vitriolic_vix said:


> ok another silly question from me about nursing bras - my list from the hospital says that I should have them with me but how do I know what size to get if they grow so much? or do i buy one in the same size as my maternity bras for the first couple of days and then get some bigger ones once my milk has come in?? :shrug:
> 
> I've already gone from a 34b to a D and intend to get measured again in couple of weeks time when the 3rd trimester spread kicks in again so should I be mindful of this when i get measured??:shrug::shrug:

It is generally recommended to get measured late pregnancy
https://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/t025200.asp

Your boobs will change in size by the hour (no joke) so don't be too hung up on an exact size


----------



## Armywife

Although having read that i wanted to say my mw didn't remove the plastic clamp, it just fell off with the rest of it x


----------



## evewidow

peonies said:


> This thread is fab :thumbup:
> 
> I have a few questions!
> 
> Do you bleed afterwards even if you have a c-section? If so is it more/less?
> 
> Has anyone had to be given a sponge bath? For some reason the idea of one really bothers me!
> 
> Lastly, when/how often does the midwife come and see you afterwards? Or is it a health visitor? Do you have to call and ask them to come or do they just turn up?
> 
> Thankyou ladies for all your amazing advice! very much appreciated & I hope that in a few weeks I can come and share my experiences in return, always nice to give something back. Seems to me that that's the best thing about forums like this :flower:

bleeding happens for everyone , im not sure if the amount varies as i have never had a section .

sponge bath - no ..they leave you to it and if you need help you get your oh/birthing partner to help you. 

midwife - i have always had the midwife the next day , then they come every few days until baby has regained birth weight and you appear to be fine ...(babies lose weight for their 1st few days ) ds1 got discharged after 12 days ds2 was a month .
after you are discharged from the midwife you get a health visitor , with ds1 they came 2 or 3 times with ds2 they came once then told me to go to the clinic for weight checks 
thats how it is in my area anyway im not sure if this varies


----------



## qpaulina42

Maybe a silly question but how common is this vomiting during and after labor business? That sounds sort of awful to me....


----------



## aliss

qpaulina42 said:


> Maybe a silly question but how common is this vomiting during and after labor business? That sounds sort of awful to me....

Very common but for me, it wasn't vomit like if you had been drinking or ate something bad - it was literally any water that I drank, it came back up. It happened quite frequently.


----------



## LuckyStarr

I vomited a lot during labour but I do when I have bad period pain so I wasnt too surprised it was mostly bile and water though.

I bled quite a lot straight after birth but it's now 6 days since i gave birth and my bleeding is less than a period.


----------



## Annunakian

If you're prone to getting ill when you're in pain or on meds or nervous then I would just prepare for it in case it does happen and keep a trash can by your bed and/or mints or sour things to help sooth the tummy.


----------



## MumtoJ

I was sick after my section but that was more a reaction to the meds (Morphine) and know this time not to let them give it to me as the anti-sickness shot they gave didn't work.

I bled heavily for about a week or so and then med / light for about 6 weeks and then very light / brown for about 2 weeks but apparently with preveria its worse as the open vessels are at the bottom and the uterus contracts from the top down.


----------



## 2ndtimeAbz

I didn't feel sick or nauseous last time,even tho I had gas and air and pethedine. So it may not happen! :)


----------



## 0_o

I felt nauseous through labour but wasn't sick.XX


----------



## evewidow

ive never been nauseas or sick during labour


----------



## Armywife

I was sick alot during labour, at one point it was due to the pethidine (evil stuff - well for me anyway!) but the next day, after actually delivering her i was very sick (as i said, all over the surgeons lovely braided hair!), not entirely sure why but the mw mentioned shock x


----------



## Tadan

What about mucus plugs? (I've been trying to avoid reading anything to do with them, eurgh lol) Do you have to have a show before going into labour? could it happen while in the hospital or is it always days/weeks before?

Oh and any idea if there is a relation to when your mother went into labour on you and how your labours are? For instance I was 3 weeks early born, will this mean i'm likely to be early too or is that just wishful thinking? :lol:


----------



## Mini_Me_x

Tadan said:


> Oh and any idea if there is a relation to when your mother went into labour on you and how your labours are? For instance I was 3 weeks early born, will this mean i'm likely to be early too or is that just wishful thinking? :lol:

I asked my MW the same question hun as i was born at 32 weeks...and so was my brother...but she said every pregnancy is different and that its not really genetic to have preemies...who knows!!! :wacko:

I hope it doesnt other wise i have just over a week left! lol

xx


----------



## Tadan

Mini_Me_x said:


> Tadan said:
> 
> 
> Oh and any idea if there is a relation to when your mother went into labour on you and how your labours are? For instance I was 3 weeks early born, will this mean i'm likely to be early too or is that just wishful thinking? :lol:
> 
> I asked my MW the same question hun as i was born at 32 weeks...and so was my brother...but she said every pregnancy is different and that its not really genetic to have preemies...who knows!!! :wacko:
> 
> I hope it doesnt other wise i have just over a week left! lol
> 
> xxClick to expand...

Haha wishful thinking then! Nice to know though, so you can prepare if it were possible !


----------



## evewidow

Tadan said:


> What about mucus plugs? (I've been trying to avoid reading anything to do with them, eurgh lol) Do you have to have a show before going into labour? could it happen while in the hospital or is it always days/weeks before?
> 
> Oh and any idea if there is a relation to when your mother went into labour on you and how your labours are? For instance I was 3 weeks early born, will this mean i'm likely to be early too or is that just wishful thinking? :lol:

with my 1st i never noticed my plug go and i didnt have a show - if i did it must have been on the toilet or something cus i never had one and i went into labour without induction ..however they had to break my waters so perhaps that when it was 

with ds2 i had the show when i woke up in the morning and had him in y arms by that night.

as for mothers labour it doesnt run lke that for me .


----------



## lauren-kate

Tadan said:


> What about mucus plugs? (I've been trying to avoid reading anything to do with them, eurgh lol) Do you have to have a show before going into labour? could it happen while in the hospital or is it always days/weeks before?
> 
> Oh and any idea if there is a relation to when your mother went into labour on you and how your labours are? For instance I was 3 weeks early born, will this mean i'm likely to be early too or is that just wishful thinking? :lol:

You can lose you mucus plug a bit at a time for weeks - it can regenerate itself. I think it's more likely to be more imminent if it's your bloody show - like a bloody mucus. It can happen in labour though, or it might happen and you just don't realise (like on the toilet or something).

My mum had me at 37+4 and I'm still here at nearly 38 weeks (and I had my son at 39+6).

In answer to the 'sick' question, I threw up a lot just before I needed to push. At this stage I hadn't had any form of pain relief (no gas and air or even paracetamol). It seemed like I was just getting everything out of my system so my body could concentrate on the pushing.


----------



## Tadan

fab, thanks ladies!

I feel mentally prepared now, my brain is overflowing with info lol. My brothers OH is 12 weeks pregnant and keeps asking ne stuff, I feel like a genius :haha: I have said it's all down to good ol' B&B!


----------



## lisaf

So with the going overdue/early... is there any correlation between being late?
My mom was exactly 10 days late with me and my brother... she was 8 days late with my sister when they induced her (my mom was older then so they worried more and are induction-happy in the US).

I don't know if this is just because they didn't have ultrasounds in my mom's day to date the pregnancy, so went by her LMP and maybe she had long cycles.
Which possibly having long cycles could be somewhat hereditary?

Anyway, I was just curious if there was any correlation between mother's experience and daugther about being LATE?


----------



## lisaf

Also, what about birth weight? My brother and I were both over 9lbs, my sister was 8lbs 8oz... my DH was 8lbs 11oz... 
I'm kind of prepared to have an 8+ lb baby no matter what... but is that even something that is hereditary?


----------



## aliss

lisaf said:


> Also, what about birth weight? My brother and I were both over 9lbs, my sister was 8lbs 8oz... my DH was 8lbs 11oz...
> I'm kind of prepared to have an 8+ lb baby no matter what... but is that even something that is hereditary?

Not sure if baby size is hereditary but pelvis size would be (in general), just like if you have a short mom you are more likely to be a short woman. My mom had 8 + 11lb babies, I had a 9lb baby, all the women in my family have 9+lb babies but also wide hips... 

Size of the baby is not a problem - it's your pelvis size that matters!


----------



## Dream.A.Dream

I also forgot to say earlier, I had awful diarrhoea in early labour, my body was clearing out. 

I was sick about 4 times in labour, badly, but not at all towards the end. 

I never saw my plug or had a show either. My first sign of labour, and the only one I really consciously ever was aware of, was contractions. I never saw my plug, never had a show, never saw my waters. x


----------



## kiraelliott

lisaf said:


> So with the going overdue/early... is there any correlation between being late?
> My mom was exactly 10 days late with me and my brother... she was 8 days late with my sister when they induced her (my mom was older then so they worried more and are induction-happy in the US).
> 
> I don't know if this is just because they didn't have ultrasounds in my mom's day to date the pregnancy, so went by her LMP and maybe she had long cycles.
> Which possibly having long cycles could be somewhat hereditary?
> 
> Anyway, I was just curious if there was any correlation between mother's experience and daugther about being LATE?

They let my mum go 4 weeks late with me!!! Didn't know it was possible! I have no clue why but her due date was Oct 13th and I was born Nov 13th! Thankfully their policy is different now and won't let me go over 10 days late.


----------



## kiraelliott

aliss said:


> lisaf said:
> 
> 
> Also, what about birth weight? My brother and I were both over 9lbs, my sister was 8lbs 8oz... my DH was 8lbs 11oz...
> I'm kind of prepared to have an 8+ lb baby no matter what... but is that even something that is hereditary?
> 
> Not sure if baby size is hereditary but pelvis size would be (in general), just like if you have a short mom you are more likely to be a short woman. My mom had 8 + 11lb babies, I had a 9lb baby, all the women in my family have 9+lb babies but also wide hips...
> 
> Size of the baby is not a problem - it's your pelvis size that matters!Click to expand...

I heard that it's your mum's baby's weights that count in relation to your own and not the fathers... but i'm no expect, just what I heard lol :)


----------



## Sophist

Big babies do run in families. And there's some epigenetic science about the father's genes wanting to grow the biggest baby possible, and the mothers wanting to grow a smaller one. Dad wants his baby to be big & strong to be most likely to propagate his genes, mom wants her baby to be smaller and less taxing to her physically, therefore increasing the likelihood she will have more children and propagate her own genes. Different environmental factors seem to flip different "switches" to impact which genes are expressed rather than the older ideas that all genes are dominant or recessive in relation to each other.

There was an article in Newsweek a few months back about women who were pg during WWII in England and how the stress seems to have impacted their babies birth weights. And then subsequent generations in the same families the babies have been smaller with each generation, seems a genetic "switch" has been flipped toward smaller babies and even though conditions and stress levels have reversed, the switch never flipped back.

I don't think overdue babies run in families though, unless related to mom's cycle. Interestingly, my daughter was 6 days late according to my LMP, but born on the day the u/s predicted. They didn't ever change my EDD, but in hindsight I recognize that my cycles were longer then than they are now. And I know my fertility much better--so I tend to think this LO will probably show closer to her EDD. Will be interesting to find out!


----------



## MustangGTgirl

My placenta came out immediately after my baby both times I had been in labor. I never had to wait 30 minutes or longer. The first time it was about 3 minutes after baby and doctor told me to push and I pushed really hard and it shot out on to my doctor's chest (the look on her face is something I will never forget) and the second time the doctor just pulled it out right after baby.


----------



## lisaf

MustangGTgirl said:


> My placenta came out immediately after my baby both times I had been in labor. I never had to wait 30 minutes or longer. The first time it was about 3 minutes after baby and doctor told me to push and I pushed really hard and it shot out on to my doctor's chest (the look on her face is something I will never forget) and the second time the doctor just pulled it out right after baby.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: Thanks for that visual...
I think if something that gross is going to come out of me, I'd kind of feel better about it if I got to hit someone with it like that! :haha:


----------



## Tadan

About the birth weights, I am one of 5... I was 6lb my brothers 7lb8, 9lb8 & 7lb6 and my sister 7lb. They are such a range that I'm not focusing on that, i'm just hoping she isn't bigger than 8/9lb! My mother was 10lb and her brother 7lb lol.. My father was around 8lb too.


----------



## evewidow

i dunno about weights , i was 8lb 6oz but only child , hubby was 8lb and his brother was 8lb something , both my babies have been over 9lb but i am tall so perhaps that is why ?

apparently though in my family we all have quick labours so that must be something you inherit maybe ?

mom got to the hospital with me and they checked her and said here is a hair off your babies head and out i shot , my nan apparently her longest labour was 8 hours shortest 2 hours , my auntie has 5 kids and 3 of them she has only just made it to the hospital in time to push , and i have had 2 quick labours of 4 and half hours and 90 minutes long so i reckon there is def something in that.


----------



## Armywife

My mum had 3 babies, I was her first when she was 14 (yes, FOURTEEN) and i was 7lb 10, my sister was born 6 years later at 9lb 4 and my brother 2 years after that at 10lb 4. My sisters 2 daughters were 6lb 4 and 6lb 7 at 39 weeks, Poppy was 6lb 10 at 36 weeks so probably would have been a big ish baby at 40 wks. My hubby was 11lb 4 when he was born! :shock: 

My mum birthed us all naturally but my sister had sections as her pelvis is too small and i had such an awful birth and have to have a section this time as my pelvis is too small also. I guess those things vary?:shrug: x


----------



## RainbowDrop_x

I just thought of another one..One I wish I'd have known.

That after you have a baby you're a lot more sensitive to feeling wind move around you're tummy and that YES it does feel like a baby kicking!! And even at nearly 8 months PP I STILL feel it!!


----------



## Tadan

That's mad! Haha I'd probably be thinking omg i'm not pregnant again so soon am i? :haha:


----------



## Tadan

Another question for you ladies...

Do you know when your waters are gonna break? Like do you feel anything beforehand or does it come from no where? I wonder if it you feel anything like a sensation to pee or something similar?


----------



## evewidow

Tadan said:


> Another question for you ladies...
> 
> Do you know when your waters are gonna break? Like do you feel anything beforehand or does it come from no where? I wonder if it you feel anything like a sensation to pee or something similar?

i didnt , i just lay in bed and whoosh .


----------



## RainbowDrop_x

Tadan said:


> Another question for you ladies...
> 
> Do you know when your waters are gonna break? Like do you feel anything beforehand or does it come from no where? I wonder if it you feel anything like a sensation to pee or something similar?

No warning for me. I was sitting in the birthing pool and then it just felt like I was doing a really big wee that I couldn't stop!


----------



## Rachel B

Thank you for taking the time for answering in this thread.... So much interesting info!


----------



## louandivy

Doing your first poo after labour is TERRIFYING. Took me two weeks!


----------



## lisaf

can you girls explain the poo thing? I assume you dont' mean you spent 2 weeks pushing the first poop out :haha: ... are you saying you didn't poop at all for 2 weeks?
I think I'd die if I went more than 2 days without a poop!! :(
Even with pregnancy constipation I still go once a day...


----------



## louandivy

I was just too scared to! I don't know what I was scared of, I just felt like everything might explode if I push too hard :haha: I'd invest in getting some kind of mild laxative in preparation!


----------



## lisaf

stool softeners are supposed to be your best friend :haha:
Laxatives I think can backfire?


----------



## louandivy

Ahhh yes I meant stool softeners!


----------



## Tadan

I'm always uncertain about using stuff like that incase it back fires.. I didn't even think about using the loo after but now it's kinda scaring me lol


----------



## patch2006uk

I don't know how genetic it is, but my mom went 9 days over with me before she was induced, and I'm still here waiting for my LO (Ultrasound EDD 28th Dec, being induced Tuesday at term+14 - they don't induce any earlier than that here unless for medical reasons). 

I'm a very different build to my mom though - she's 5ft 4in and was very slim hipped and I'm 6ft and have much broader hips - so I have no idea if it's all just coincidence or there is some genetic connection.


----------



## Danii

Hey Girlies, Going back to a previous thing we were talking about. When you bleed after giving birth, is it like straight away... What I mean is, will I need to put a pad on immeadiatly after giving birth?


----------



## Armywife

Danii said:


> Hey Girlies, Going back to a previous thing we were talking about. When you bleed after giving birth, is it like straight away... What I mean is, will I need to put a pad on immeadiatly after giving birth?

Yep hun, it was for me at least. It's so strange, my waters gushed and gushed till Poppy was out then the blood started gushing! :dohh: It was a bit of a shock at the time! x


----------



## louandivy

qpaulina42 said:


> Maybe a silly question but how common is this vomiting during and after labor business? That sounds sort of awful to me....

I felt a bit nauseous (probably nerves!) but wasn't sick so I guess it depends on how you handle pain. I did have horrible soft bowel movements when the contractions first started (very common I think) and kept telling my boyfriend that I was terrified I was going to poo myself. He stillteases me about it :blush:


----------



## flubdub

Danii said:


> Hey Girlies, Going back to a previous thing we were talking about. When you bleed after giving birth, is it like straight away... What I mean is, will I need to put a pad on immeadiatly after giving birth?

Oh yes. Definately x


----------



## KandyKinz

Hmmmmmmmm things they generally don't tell you.....

-You're not actually in labour until you're atleast 3cm with your first baby or 4cm dilated wtih subsequent babies.
-You can be several cm dilated for weeks without going into labour... You can lose your mucus plug and still not go into labour for several weeks. 
- Most women won't have their water break until after they are in labour and lots won't have their water break naturally until they start pushing.
-Ultrasounds done at term are only accurate within 2 lbs.... so if they estimate 8lbs baby is anywhere between 6 and 10lbs.
-Vomiting in labour is fairly common
-Diarrhea at the onset of labour is fairly common
-During the later stages of labour it feels like you continuously need to poo
-Newborn poo (meconium) is incredibly incredibly sticky and hard to get off!!!!
-It's normal for babies to look like they have swollen boobies due to the changes in estrogen levels... It's also normal for baby girls to have a some vaginal bleeding following the birth for the same reasons. 
-One or two episodes of baby peeing uric acid crystals is normal. 
-The placenta takes usually between 5-30 minutes and sometimes longer for the placenta to deliver.
-Peeing afterwards hurts. A peri bottle is essential
-Hemorrhoids afterwards are common
-The longer you hold in a poo the harder it will be to get out......
-There tends to be ALOT of bleeding in the first 24 hours after the birth and small clots are relatively common.
-"Always" maxi pads often cause +++ perineal irritation
-Boobs become HUGE when your milk comes in...
-Boobs can get stretchmarks
-After you have a baby you will still look pregnant for several days....

I could prolly go on and on and on......


----------



## Armywife

KandyKinz said:


> -It's normal for babies to look like they have swollen boobies due to the changes in estrogen levels... It's also normal for baby girls to have a some vaginal bleeding following the birth for the same reasons.

Thats a good point - Poppy had swollen boobies but no bleeding, she did have swollen genitals for a while too though - was a *BIG *shock to me! xx


----------



## louandivy

Ivy also had a kind of creamy discharge a few days after birtyh which they said was very normal.


----------



## flubdub

Armywife said:


> KandyKinz said:
> 
> 
> -It's normal for babies to look like they have swollen boobies due to the changes in estrogen levels... It's also normal for baby girls to have a some vaginal bleeding following the birth for the same reasons.
> 
> Thats a good point - Poppy had swollen boobies but no bleeding, she did have swollen genitals for a while too though - was a *BIG *shock to me! xxClick to expand...

Also with boys too - I rang my doctor in tears when lo was a day or so old, because he had tiny little marble sized lumps under each nipple. Doctor said it was just my hormones in his body still and they would go soon. They did :thumbup:


----------



## Tadan

KandyKinz you are always full of useful information! I'm glad to see you putting stuff on this thread too :D
I was quite shocked about the baby girls and blood, i'm glad you mentioned that because I would have freaked out if I hadn't known beforehand.


----------



## MissFox

Loving this thread!


----------



## KandyKinz

Oh and afterpains..... You will continue to have contractions after the baby is born.... they don't hurt as much as labour contractions but they hurt. They tend not to be noticable after a first baby but they tend to get worse with each subsequent birth. 

Also it is completely normal for a baby to lose up to 10% of their birth weight. A healthy baby will be back up to their birthweight by 2 weeks. If you received lots of IV fluid during the labour baby will likely lose closer to the 10% due to excess fluid retention at the time of the birth.

And physiological jaundice is normal with a little more then 50% of babies will develop some degree of jaundice. This is generally not a problem and small amounts of bilirubin is thought to have protective health effects as it's an anti-oxidant. However, large amounts of bilirubin can be dangerous so if baby is has jaundice it's best that he/she be assessed by a care provider to determine the degree of it... Generally babies who have unhealthy amounts of bilirubin will be very lethargic... A vigorously crying yellow baby is most likely a healthy baby.


----------



## alienbabe4321

I've invaded from 2nd tri and would like to say a great big thank you to all you ladies who have shared.

I'm actually feeling better about the whole giving birth side of things now I've read through from page 1.

So again...Thank You!!!!! :D


----------



## Mya209

KandyKinz said:


> -It's normal for babies to look like they have swollen boobies due to the changes in estrogen levels... It's also normal for baby girls to have a some vaginal bleeding following the birth for the same reasons.
> ......

My goodness! Why don't they tell you this!!!?? I'd have completely freaked out if this happened!

Great thread. I'm over from 2nd tri and found this very useful. I think the more prepared you can be for that bleeding after birth the better. I knew about it but had no idea how heavy it could be. I kind of presumed it would be like a period so you've opened my eyes!


----------



## tashak88

ok..I dont know if anyne has mentioned this (I tried to look through) 

I had a c-section with my daughter in 07...

the one thing that caught me by surprise was..........TMI ALERT....

The smell of the 'blood' afterwards.....it was awful....made me gag everytime I went to the bathroom....yuk yuk yuk...I never knew it would smell that bad...can't really describe it...though I have talked to some moms who said there's didnt stink...so ?!?! i donno...mine did though...

I was soo embarrased when my husband had to help me take a shower(from the pain) that he had to smell that....didnt bther him at all tho!! :)


EDIT: Forgot to mention...after I had my daughter, It took me 3 days to start bleeding...i dont knw why...but the nurses would come in saying I was supernatural or something cause I wasn't bleeding...haha I started bleeding the day I left the hospital..(probably from getting up and moving? thats my guess?


----------



## CandyApple19

one of the things that dont always happen is your waters breaking before you go into labour or even throughout.... mine didnt go until i was fully dialated and even then they went because my midwife popped them by accident and it gushed all over the place including IN her gloves and sloshed her on the face.LMFAO!!!!


----------



## CandyApple19

Tasha my blood smelt strong too, like mucousy..... it was really gross, you're not the only one!!! its called 'lochia'


----------



## KandyKinz

Really gross strong smelling blood afterwards can be a sign of a uterine infection called endometritis.... Also of note, women who have cesareans are 10 times more likely to get endometritis then women who delivery vaginally....


----------



## Natty_babez

Thankyou sooooo much to every one of you ladies that has contributed to this thread  I'm sooo scared of the labour n have learnt so much from reading this n feel a little more relaxed with everything  

X x x


----------



## lulu37688

wonderful thread!! thank you to all to have contributed - keep it coming!
us first time'ers need honest info like this! :)


----------



## KandyKinz

Oh and the most important thing to know.....

Newborn baby cuddles are ultimately the best thing in the entire world and make it all worth it!!!!!!


----------



## Awaiting3

charlene7828 said:


> im having my third..
> 
> please excuse me if this sounds really really discusting and id loveto see if anybody tat has kids agrees with me!!
> 
> BUT out of EVERYTHNIG for me the worst bits were .. and the bits NOBODY ever tells ya is.. after wards...
> 
> firstly.... those periods u didnt have for 9 months.... all come at one time!!! ha and its easily 6 weeks... really heavy for at least a week.. one pad every half hour!!!
> 
> secondly... first few days, gong for a wee and trying to seperate the sanitary pad from ur vagina.. cuz there tat much bloody it actually more r less gets stuck and even wthout stitches urs still very sore so cant just whip the pants dpwn like normal!!!
> 
> thridly... the first poo!! ur afraid of ur life to go.. then we u do ya feel like ur about to burst...
> 
> forthly... ur wee stings like mad!!
> 
> Fifth.. getting up 4 any reason to relaise u have leaking down below and ur third uncle twice removed it staring at u (same for the boobs)
> 
> sorry girls... but i have to say.. these are all the tings im dreading more than the labour!!!!

TOTALLY!!! I'm due with my third daughter at the end of March and I have to completely agree with you. Very good things to warn the first timers about. I too am dreading that first bowel movement after labor...I tense up and start sweating...the whole nine yards. Not pleasant.


----------



## Mini_Me_x

KandyKinz said:


> Really gross strong smelling blood afterwards can be a sign of a uterine infection called endometritis.... Also of note, women who have cesareans are 10 times more likely to get endometritis then women who delivery vaginally....

Are you just a bright spark hun or do you work in this field? :thumbup::flower:

You really know your stuff - keep going...i could read this thread all day xxx
:hugs:


----------



## LHill2010

cbmommy said:


> I forgot one!! It's too funny. As the baby was descending, everytime I'd have a contraction I'd let out an uncontrollable fart. How embarrassing!! He was apparently pushing on my bowels. :rofl:


This is the best thread ever!! some posts I cringe, and some I laugh so hard. Thank you ladies! I feel more prepared. This is great.


----------



## aliss

Mini_Me_x said:


> KandyKinz said:
> 
> 
> Really gross strong smelling blood afterwards can be a sign of a uterine infection called endometritis.... Also of note, women who have cesareans are 10 times more likely to get endometritis then women who delivery vaginally....
> 
> Are you just a bright spark hun or do you work in this field? :thumbup::flower:
> 
> You really know your stuff - keep going...i could read this thread all day xxx
> :hugs:Click to expand...

She's a midwife!

Wow, sounds like most things are covered. Can't think of anything more??

Hm. If you are induced, you (usually) can't eat. Suck on popscicles. It's incase you end up getting a C-section.


----------



## aliss

A newborn cannot stay awake more than 45 min-1 hr *max*. Babies need to be taught how to sleep. If you miss this 45-1hr window (because many do not fall asleep on their own), you will encounter a cranky monster, so try your darndest :) It took me 3 months to figure that out.


----------



## Awaiting3

chelsea1978 said:


> im not saying anyone is naive, but every new unpleasant experience you read about is naturally going to make you worry and think "oh god i hope that doesnt happen to me" when chances are it may not and you have worried for nothing.
> 
> as i said in my other posts, some tips and advice here are helpful, but i think if someone has a question that they want an honest answer to (based on someone else's experience) its far better to post that separately than to have a whole load of women jumping on the bandwagon with more and more things that you "must prepare for"
> 
> you only have to look at some of the ladies responses to see that it is scaring people....

I'm sorry. I was only reading up until this point, But I have to ask where anyone said you "MUST" prepare for this or that?? Yes it's true, ignorance is bliss to some. For me, I like to be prepared. And I prepare with knowledge. I've given birth twice and am preparing for my third and the MAJORITY (not all but most) of what these ladies have spoke about are things that I went through as well. They maybe horrifying to some, but what women reading this post need to realize is that women have been doing this since the dawn of time and NONE of the things we've went through have been enough to make us get our legs sewn together and put a hurting on the world's population leading to man's demise. Meaning...they need to realize that if these things were so HORRIBLE, we'd quit enjoying sex and diminish altogether. With the good (seeing your baby for the first time) comes the bad (tearing, bleeding, puking whatever) and soon half of what happened wont even be remembered. 
I for one see absolutely NOTHING wrong with this thread and as one or two posters before me said...if you're that scared...don't read it. Yes, some things happen to one women that wont happen to the other, but the majority of things are normal things that women bearing children will inevitably have to "deal with". It's part of child bearing. And it's all temporary, however the love you'll have for that beautiful baby is permanent. I say focus on that. :)


----------



## KandyKinz

Mini_Me_x said:


> Are you just a bright spark hun or do you work in this field? :thumbup::flower:
> 
> You really know your stuff - keep going...i could read this thread all day xxx
> :hugs:

I was a doula and taught prenatal ed for a bit then spent three years studying to be a midwife then a year ago I decided to take a few years off to be a full time mommy and live on the other side of the charts. Best decision I could have ever made and I've been thoroughly enjoying every minute of it! :D


----------



## flubdub

Foul smelling blood should always be checked though. It can be a sign of an anerobic infection and would need antibiotics.


----------



## UkMum2b

KandyKinz said:


> "Always" maxi pads often cause +++ perineal irritation
> QUOTE]
> 
> Love this thread!
> 
> Is there another make we should get? What type should we be slipping in our hospital bags...


----------



## flubdub

Has anyone asked for this thread to be Stickied? It will be great help for people in the third tri after us.


----------



## Tadan

Oh I have another question if someone can help :)

I am unsure of what birth I'm having yet due to being consultant led, I will find out on the 27th Jan. If I am able to have a normal birth and I end up having to have an emergency section, do they put you out or are you still awake? 
And a question for c-sections planned or emergency: Can I still be the first to hold the baby? It may seem a bit selfish but I reaaally want to be the first to hold the baby no matter what!


----------



## Zedfaca

Has anyone got any advice on the best time to go into hospital? I'm confident that I'll know when I'm in labour, but I'm really not sure how long I should wait at home for. The midwives say different amounts of contractions in ten minutes but I'm guessing there isn't a very reliable formula. When did people go in and was it the right time or too early or late? I'd love some tips!


----------



## KandyKinz

UkMum2b said:


> KandyKinz said:
> 
> 
> "Always" maxi pads often cause +++ perineal irritation
> QUOTE]
> 
> Love this thread!
> 
> Is there another make we should get? What type should we be slipping in our hospital bags...
> 
> It's the dry weave cover that tends to be irritating... So avoid ones that say dry weave...... The best pads are the ones that are cottony soft on top (the part that touches your skin). Alot of no name cheap pads are like that and I believe Kotex is good as well.Click to expand...


----------



## Mya209

KandyKinz said:


> UkMum2b said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> KandyKinz said:
> 
> 
> "Always" maxi pads often cause +++ perineal irritation
> QUOTE]
> 
> Love this thread!
> 
> Is there another make we should get? What type should we be slipping in our hospital bags...
> 
> It's the dry weave cover that tends to be irritating... So avoid ones that say dry weave...... The best pads are the ones that are cottony soft on top (the part that touches your skin). Alot of no name cheap pads are like that and I believe Kotex is good as well.Click to expand...
> 
> Do you have to buy maternity pads or can you just get normal heavy flow santitary towels?Click to expand...


----------



## KandyKinz

normal heavy flow nighttime menstrual pads work.... though for the first 24 hours it can be helpful to double them up to make them longer. 

At most hospitals around here they supply you with pads while you're in hospital. Do they not do that in the UK?


----------



## Mya209

From what other girls have been saying, I didnt think so. Not sure though.


----------



## lauren-kate

Generally, they don't provide very much for free in the UK. You will need to buy your own pads.


----------



## flubdub

KandyKinz said:


> normal heavy flow nighttime menstrual pads work.... though for the first 24 hours it can be helpful to double them up to make them longer.
> 
> At most hospitals around here they supply you with pads while you're in hospital. Do they not do that in the UK?

No - in our hosptial, you get a cardboard bowl and a few balls of cotton wool to wash baby, and (in some hosps) the formula if you're FF. But thats about it.


----------



## KandyKinz

Blah that's unfortunate!


----------



## Kristine30

Wonderful thread....I've sneaked over here from 2tri and loved reading all the secret information...scary but also very useful and great to know! :+)


----------



## lisaf

So what happens in the UK if you didn't bring any pads? Do you just bleed everywhere? :haha: 
(I agree that its unfortunate you guys don't get all the stuff we do to help us out etc!)


----------



## PeanutBean

Just been directed to this thread and confess to have not read it all so apologies for repetition! I've had one birth, home waterbirth that became 35 hours and a ventouse delivery. Like everything everyone's experiences are different and hospital policies Sisley vary too. Some things I learnt last time in no particular order:

1. Peeing and poking were both fine for me (despite episiotomy and yes I also got piles) and the hospital never asked to check anything.
2. I found internal exams to be more painful than everything else and won't be having them this time.
3. I WAS humiliated by all the hospital intervention and remember it well. I hated having to show my bloodied stitches the morning I was discharged.
4. There was no food in the hospital. Despite giving birth at 11.40am no-one bothered to ask mr about dinner which came and went and by 9pm I was offered a tuna butty. I'm veggie.
5. Everything takes 100 years in hospital and things happen at weird times. I had to stay in because the consultant didn't come to check Byron over until midnight. :wacko: Hospital beds are desperately uncomfy and the wards far far far too hit - don't take winter jim jams.
6. I bled for 8 weeks and it was all lighter than my normal periods. But my period returned at 9 weeks, despite BF, and for the full time til getting pregnant again they were agonisingly painful and heavier than any bleeding I've ever had, even making me anaemic.
7. My waters went and I had no idea there was a policy of having to go in after 18 hours for antibiotics. In most places it's now 24. In all places you don't HAVE to go in just because they want you to. It might not even be good practice.
8. Epidurals are horrible. I felt all my contractions but there was then no anaesthetist available to resite it. I was totally paralysed though and couldn't feel my pelvic floor enough to push so was on my back, in stirrups with an episiotomy and ventouse. All of this would've been avoided if i'd been allowed to labour at home.
9. Like I said my waters went first when I was asleep but I felt it and didn't wet the bed or anything. Once they've gone they just keep coming and no towel or anything will hold it! I spent the next few hours mostly sat on the toilet while they poured out. DH tried to have a quick pee and I was knocking on the door because water was dripping on my toes!
10. 'They' don't know everything. I was taught one BF hold that didn't work well. When I got my first home visit the evening I was back I was given terrible BF advice including not to touch my now H cup boobs at all. In reality my son would've been suffocated if I'd listened!
11. A ventouse potentially wrecks the vaginal wall - we couldn't dtd for 8 months. An episiotomy means not being able to sit comfortably for a few weeks.
12. I found once I was on my feet that if I stood or walked for long my bits engorged and felt like they were going to fall out.
13. Yes they do their finger up your bum to check for tears. My doctor had slender fingers.

That's it for now, I have parent duties to attend to!


----------



## KandyKinz

They also give out really sexy stretchy mesh panties at our hospitals!


----------



## evewidow

Zedfaca said:


> Has anyone got any advice on the best time to go into hospital? I'm confident that I'll know when I'm in labour, but I'm really not sure how long I should wait at home for. The midwives say different amounts of contractions in ten minutes but I'm guessing there isn't a very reliable formula. When did people go in and was it the right time or too early or late? I'd love some tips!

with my 1st i stayed at home until i thought ouch i need pain relief , i was in hospital for 4 hours before he came.

with my 2nd my waters broke and my contractions came thick and fast every 3 mins so i went asap and was at the hospital for 30 mins before he came 

when you are getting regular contractions or if your waters break ring the labour ward they will advise you when to come in . but if you arent coping then go in , also be aware if you go in to early you may get sent home for a bit

i suppose it also depends on how far you are away from the hospital , time of day etc you may need to set off early if its rush hour or w/e 

i think really you just "know" when to go in but i think the general opinion seems to be when you are getting towards 4 mins apart


----------



## Danii

KandyKinz said:


> *normal heavy flow nighttime menstrual pads work.... though for the first 24 hours it can be helpful to double them up to make them longer. *
> 
> At most hospitals around here they supply you with pads while you're in hospital. Do they not do that in the UK?

As in Length-Ways or widthway.... So: (What follows is a realllllllllly bad example of a sanitry towel!!!!) Do you not just leak over the sides?:blush:


[====] OR [====][====]
[====]


----------



## flubdub

lisaf said:


> So what happens in the UK if you didn't bring any pads? Do you just bleed everywhere? :haha:
> (I agree that its unfortunate you guys don't get all the stuff we do to help us out etc!)

Well if that happened, obv they would give you some as they will have emergency ones. But you would normally just put them in your hospital bag.
We dont get lots of stuff in hospital because the service is free - so am quite happy to take a couple of £1 packs of pads :thumbup:


----------



## lisaf

flubdub said:


> lisaf said:
> 
> 
> So what happens in the UK if you didn't bring any pads? Do you just bleed everywhere? :haha:
> (I agree that its unfortunate you guys don't get all the stuff we do to help us out etc!)
> 
> Well if that happened, obv they would give you some as they will have emergency ones. But you would normally just put them in your hospital bag.
> We dont get lots of stuff in hospital because the service is free - so am quite happy to take a couple of £1 packs of pads :thumbup:Click to expand...

haha good point... I wonder what they charge for the pads on our itemized bills :rofl:


----------



## Mya209

KandyKinz said:


> Blah that's unfortunate!

It's ok, we don't have to pay for any of our care! I'd rather bring my own choices of things anyway!


----------



## Sophist

lisaf said:


> haha good point... I wonder what they charge for the pads on our itemized bills :rofl:

9 years ago when I had my son, they were $6 each pad. I don't remember seeing a line item when I had my daughter.


----------



## Lettuce

Danii said:


> KandyKinz said:
> 
> 
> *normal heavy flow nighttime menstrual pads work.... though for the first 24 hours it can be helpful to double them up to make them longer. *
> 
> At most hospitals around here they supply you with pads while you're in hospital. Do they not do that in the UK?
> 
> As in Length-Ways or widthway.... So: (What follows is a realllllllllly bad example of a sanitry towel!!!!) Do you not just leak over the sides?:blush:
> 
> 
> [====] OR [====][====]
> [====]Click to expand...

Sorry, can't answer our question but your drawing made me laugh so hard! Xxx :thumbup:


----------



## KandyKinz

Mya209 said:


> KandyKinz said:
> 
> 
> Blah that's unfortunate!
> 
> It's ok, we don't have to pay for any of our care! I'd rather bring my own choices of things anyway!Click to expand...

I'm in Canada so our health care is free as well :D Though hospitals in larger cities have started charging $$$$ for parking!!!


----------



## KandyKinz

Lettuce said:


> Danii said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> KandyKinz said:
> 
> 
> *normal heavy flow nighttime menstrual pads work.... though for the first 24 hours it can be helpful to double them up to make them longer. *
> 
> At most hospitals around here they supply you with pads while you're in hospital. Do they not do that in the UK?
> 
> As in Length-Ways or widthway.... So: (What follows is a realllllllllly bad example of a sanitry towel!!!!) Do you not just leak over the sides?:blush:
> 
> 
> [====] OR [====][====]
> [====]Click to expand...
> 
> Sorry, can't answer our question but your drawing made me laugh so hard! Xxx :thumbup:Click to expand...

LOL {=====}{=====] but slightly overlapping in the middle... though you could 

{====}{=====}
{=====} 

If leaking out the sides is an issue... Generally it is only the first 24-48 hours that you bleed tons and tons and doubling up is necessary. After that it tends to just go down similar to the amount of a heavy but still manageable period (though what one considers a heavy period is very variable from women to women) but generally for most women regular heavy pads are suitable....

Around here they don't really sell postpartum pads (atleast not that I have seen) so that's not really an option for us probably because the hospitals provide them and most women here have hospital births and stay there for atleast the first 24 hours after birth when the bleeding tends to be at it's peak..... And if they have midwives and leave the hospital 3 hours after the birth they may very well end up with the midwifery student who secretely sneaks a handful of HUGE hospital pads into their bag on the way out :winkwink: And if they have homebirths then they just tend to double up for the first day or two and that works as well.... 

Anways, just get what ever you feel would suit you best and beware of anything with a dry weave cause they do tend to cause irritation.....


----------



## MissFox

Good to know- I've been wondering about the amount of bleeding. Usually the first day of AF I go through an overnight pad in a couple hours- I'm concerned with more blood than that! We will see though- so good to hear that it doesn't last long!


----------



## KandyKinz

MissFox said:


> Good to know- I've been wondering about the amount of bleeding. Usually the first day of AF I go through an overnight pad in a couple hours- I'm concerned with more blood than that! We will see though- so good to hear that it doesn't last long!

The amount of bleeding really varies from woman to woman..... The typical rule of thumb is though that you should however never soak more then a pad in an hour cause that's NOT normal.... Generally speaking I'd say for the first 3 or 4 days expect to need to change your pad every 2-5 hours and small blueberry-grape sized clots tend to be quite normal.... Then it just gradually decreases... Usually by day 10 or so the blood becomes lighter and more of a pink color then it tends to stay relatively light until it disappears completely which could be at 2 weeks or 8 weeks or anywhere in between..... If you start getting episodes of bright red heavier bleeding after the 2 weeks that's generally a sign that you're just doing to much and need to take it easy...


----------



## lisaf

I have to agree with the statement of a heavy flow being a very individual perception :rofl: After my nightmare period last year my concept of what 'heavy' is changed dramatically!! 
And I had to double up by doing (ok... BnB is messing with the format of my diagram, lol)
___ ___
|| ||
|| ----------- ||
|| ----------- ||
|| || 
___ ___
(this is supposed to depict a normal pad in the middle with 2 pads at 90 degree angles at the front and back) all because the flow was so heavy that standing or sitting would cause a sudden gush forward or backwards that couldn't absorb fast enough and would cause a leak. It also helped with any spread in the front that might go past the edges of the pad.
Great for overnights!

Just thought I'd share my own diagram in case someone finds it helps them.

I kind of wonder if that nightmare period (huge clots included) was anything like the lochia I'll be getting later. I will LAUGH if my post-partum bleeding is lighter than that nightmare!


----------



## KandyKinz

Well you'll definitly have to let us all know Lisa..... 

I have a history of pretty heavy periods with clots myself (though I think yours has mine beat.....) and I'd have to say that other then a couple of larger clots the amount of bleeding during the first week was very similar.... then it just got light and dragged on for what seemed like eternity.


----------



## lisaf

yeah, I don't want to 'beat' anyone, but dealing with a flow that heavy for 3 weeks was more than anyone should have to deal with! I mean seriously, don't you just run out eventually? :rofl:
I REALLY hope my post partum bleeding is shorter if it can't be lighter! I'll try to update this post if I remember .. PMSL!!


----------



## KandyKinz

Don't worry.... I'll remember and ask :D


----------



## Danii

Lool!!! This topic is really making me giggle - Is that a bit immature!? But Gosh am I learning.. So many ways to put on a sanitary towel! Ima be an expert!! 

I think thats the thing that is freaking me out the most - the post partum bleeding, but this convo is really helping! :) 

Thanks!! (Sorry about my really bad drawings!)


----------



## baby030611

Im bothered about the smell now lol...

I had a miscarriage and the smell of that blood was horrible!!

Is it the same kind of smell?? I'm guessing it is bc it's exactly the same thing coming out just more if it and if it is!!!... God I'm dreading it!!


----------



## MissFox

Yea- this conversation is really helping with my feelings of the bleeding- especially since I consider myself a "heavy bleeder" and usually have clots the first day or two.


----------



## louandivy

To make yourselves feel better about all the horrible stuff youre hearing you guys might like this thread, youre all so lucky you'll get to experience the amazing feeling of meeting your LO for the first time soon :flower:

https://www.babyandbump.com/baby-club/506637-inspired-one-born-every-minute.html


----------



## Danii

That's sooo true!!! ^

all these bad things are soooo outweighed by our little babies who will be looking back at us... :) I cant wait for my little man...


----------



## Tadan

Tadan said:


> Oh I have another question if someone can help :)
> 
> I am unsure of what birth I'm having yet due to being consultant led, I will find out on the 27th Jan. If I am able to have a normal birth and I end up having to have an emergency section, do they put you out or are you still awake?
> And a question for c-sections planned or emergency: Can I still be the first to hold the baby? It may seem a bit selfish but I reaaally want to be the first to hold the baby no matter what!

Anyone??:kiss:


----------



## Sophist

Tadan said:


> Tadan said:
> 
> 
> Oh I have another question if someone can help :)
> 
> I am unsure of what birth I'm having yet due to being consultant led, I will find out on the 27th Jan. If I am able to have a normal birth and I end up having to have an emergency section, do they put you out or are you still awake?
> And a question for c-sections planned or emergency: Can I still be the first to hold the baby? It may seem a bit selfish but I reaaally want to be the first to hold the baby no matter what!
> 
> Anyone??:kiss:Click to expand...

I think it varies. If you already have an epidural in place I think they can use that. If you are going all natural and they need to do it fast, I think they put you out with general anesthesia.

Not sure if you can hold the baby first, most of my friends who had C-sections their Dh held the baby first.


----------



## mommyof2peas

Im still in 2nd tri, but this is my third......my 2 sense, I havent read threw the whole thread as its HUGE, so if this stuff has been said before Im sorry :)

*Remember that DH/OH has been going through all of this with you. When packing your hospital bag remember snacks and drinks for DH.The hospital feeds you, not DH. Also change of cloths and stuff to shower if you don't want them going home to change :) My DH was SOOO tiered after our ds was born that he feel asleep. I kept thinking "how could he be asleep! Im the one who gave birth" But he had just worked a full day and spent all night in the hospital. I just have to keep in mind that our DH are with us threw the whole birth. If you remember to, look at your DH when your pushing.....5 dollars they are pushing too!!! lol


*Shaking, I started shaking like I had fallen into a lake of 20 degree water. Even though I wasnt cold in the least. I was scared because I couldnt stop myself no matter how hard I tried. This is normal its just your body telling you its about time to get that baby out.


*Epidural A couple of things on this. With my first I had watched all the shows where the gals had gotten the epidural too soon, and it had worn off before they gave birth. So I went 5 hours ans 6 cen, of hard labor before getting my epidural. The truth is, they can give you MORE medicine if you need it. With my ds I got it pretty much as soon as I hit the hospital. This time they put it on a drip. I got to push a button as often as I needed. why go threw that much pain if you dont need too :D
Also after it wheres off it ITCHES , OMG. when the medicine is leaving your body it makes your legs and belly itch so bad. On the plus side if doesnt last forever lol


----------



## lisaf

mommyof2peas said:


> If you remember to, look at your DH when your pushing.....5 dollars they are pushing too!!! lol

OMG, I am SO going to remember to look for this (well, assuming I have the ability to even think straight at that point!).

And great reminders about snacks for the birth coach! Thats one great thing about hiring a doula... they generally make sure your OH gets fed and keeps his energy up etc! :)


----------



## KandyKinz

Tadan said:


> Tadan said:
> 
> 
> Oh I have another question if someone can help :)
> 
> I am unsure of what birth I'm having yet due to being consultant led, I will find out on the 27th Jan. If I am able to have a normal birth and I end up having to have an emergency section, do they put you out or are you still awake?
> And a question for c-sections planned or emergency: Can I still be the first to hold the baby? It may seem a bit selfish but I reaaally want to be the first to hold the baby no matter what!
> 
> Anyone??:kiss:Click to expand...

Most emergency sections aren't actually "emergencies" like in the majority of cases where baby's heart rate pattern starts showing signs of distress or labour doesn't progress as it should, etc etc. So in most cases they have time (and it really doesn't take too much time) to insert a spinal if you don't yet have an epidural in place. The most common reason for a woman to need general anesthesia is because they're unable to get a spinal or epidural in place or it just doesn't work and very rarely they'll need GA if a true we need to get baby out right this very moment emergency takes place like a uterine rupture, cord prolapse, an episode of eclampsia induced seizures etc....

In terms of holding baby first.... Around here, babies tend to be passed around a bit first.... The doctor (who is sterile) passes the baby off to a nurse (who is not sterile but is holding a sterile blanket... sterile side facing out dirty side facing towards her). Then that nurse will bring the baby to the warmer where it will be assessed. Depending on where you are sometimes there it is just nurses or the clients midwife who does the initial assessment, some hospitals require that the NICU team be present at sections to do the initial assessment and other hospitals dictate that a respiratory therepist be present for the assessment... So they do the APGAR thing... Additional suctioning at this time is relatively common as babies don't get the same squeeze as they would during a vaginal delivery... And typically the eye ointment is administered at that time as well as the vitamin K injection. Then if all appears well they will put a diaper on baby, put on the id bands, bundle baby up and a nurse will bring the baby to the dad....

With that said you can request that baby be placed on your chest.... both of you bare with just a blanket on top if you want.... and if that's your intentions it's best to let them know before hand so they can place the sterile drape far enough down... Some hospitals are perfectly fine with this.... others would gasp in horror at the concept..... As for getting them to assess baby on you chest rather then bringing it to the warmer.... well you could always ask but I think you'd be really lucky if you could get them to agree to such an idea......


----------



## KandyKinz

lisaf said:


> mommyof2peas said:
> 
> 
> If you remember to, look at your DH when your pushing.....5 dollars they are pushing too!!! lol
> 
> OMG, I am SO going to remember to look for this (well, assuming I have the ability to even think straight at that point!).
> 
> And great reminders about snacks for the birth coach! Thats one great thing about hiring a doula... they generally make sure your OH gets fed and keeps his energy up etc! :)Click to expand...

LOL I don't have any visual memories of pushing! I must have had my eyes closed or something.... It's kinda odd.... I remember hearing things and could dictate everything everyone said it the room during that time.... but that's it.....


----------



## Tadan

Thanks both! I shall have a chat with the constultant when she tells me what birth i'm having :)


----------



## LuckyStarr

I cant remember pushing at all, I found I ended up with a pile the other day and said to my hubby how did I end up with a pile I only pushed once and he said I was pushing for half an hour!! Lol


----------



## lisaf

oh, one of my friends had twins via c-section and I don't know all the details, but I think if she got to hold them it was only briefly. Then they wisked them off to be assesed, cleaned etc, stitch her up. Apparently it was 4 hours before she got to see them again!!! :( So discuss ahead of time how long it will be after passing the baby off before you will see them again so you truly understand how long the wait will be once you say 'ok, I've held them enough' etc! :)


----------



## lisaf

LuckyStarr said:


> I cant remember pushing at all, I found I ended up with a pile the other day and said to my hubby how did I end up with a pile I only pushed once and he said I was pushing for half an hour!! Lol

oooh, I hope I end up with that kind of hazy memory of the whole thing! :rofl:


----------



## LuckyStarr

Lisa- the whole thing is defiantly hazy at best, I only laboured for 5 hours at the hospital I had pethadine and gas and air. The whole experience waas great the midwife followed my birth plan so even though I was out of it so I still I got the birth that I wanted! 

I remember snap shots of every stage but not too many details, remember getting my pethadine and dozing on the bed between contractions, kneeling over the back of the bed to bring her head down then pushing once and having a baby put of my chest and thinking where on earth did she come from! Unfortunately closely followed by my stitches which I only did on gas and air to get them over with. 

It's only 11 days since I gave birth and I would be willing to do ot again! X


----------



## lisaf

once again i'm jealous of gas & air available in the UK :haha:


----------



## PeanutBean

I remember pushing. I remember holding my fat numb legs with my arms as I couldn't move them myself and I remember how futile it was and deciding I wasn't going to push except you basically can't. I remember the Doctor saying "you are angry with this baby" :wacko: and the MWs telling me to push to my bum I couldn't feel with muscles I couldn't feel. I remember the relief when the doctor finally got him our with the ventouse and it was finally all over.

So not going to have an experience like that again. :nope:


----------



## PeanutBean

lisaf said:


> once again i'm jealous of gas & air available in the UK :haha:

Do you not have it? I didn't like it. Not sure whether I'll bother with it or not this time. I didn't find it helped with the pain and I just felt like I was going to pass out and suffocate every time I breathed it. Made my mouth all thick like nightmares when you can't talk.


----------



## KandyKinz

I remember loving pushing as it took away all the pain of the contractions.


----------



## lisaf

PeanutBean said:


> lisaf said:
> 
> 
> once again i'm jealous of gas & air available in the UK :haha:
> 
> Do you not have it? I didn't like it. Not sure whether I'll bother with it or not this time. I didn't find it helped with the pain and I just felt like I was going to pass out and suffocate every time I breathed it. Made my mouth all thick like nightmares when you can't talk.Click to expand...

Nope, no gas & air in the US :( our only choices are narcotics or epidural/spinal blocks I think.
The good thing about gas & air is that if you don't like the effects, at least they wear off fast (or so I'm led to believe).
I'm still going to try to do it naturally, but I'd welcome gas & air if it was an option


----------



## PeanutBean

That sucks lisaf. It's like the only medication that doesn't affect the baby. :wacko: It's not for everyone but yes the effects wear off fast. I think I'll just go for water and tens this time. Epidural is a total no-no and pethidine, well if I'm in mid-Labour and struggling I could get it at home and get some kip if it's a long labour but it didn't help with pain, just sleeping between contractions and you're not allowed back in the pool for two hours after having it.

Kandy however it feels I am really looking forward to getting to feel this baby come out and getting to do it myself!


----------



## aliss

Yes I don't see the problem with pushing, I pushed for 4 hours and liked it because it seemed like the final sprint!!!! I don't think it hurt as much as contractions but then again after 3 days before my brain was scrambled.


----------



## KandyKinz

:thumbup:


----------



## lisaf

my friend had a super easy labor, didn't even think she needed to go to the hospital when she actually really did etc... she said pushing was the worst part.
It does seem to vary a lot.


----------



## aliss

lisaf said:


> my friend had a super easy labor, didn't even think she needed to go to the hospital when she actually really did etc... she said pushing was the worst part.
> It does seem to vary a lot.

Hmm, maybe it really was the worst for her then. I was in labour 3 days with induction so to me, it was the 'relief' stage :flower:


----------



## lisaf

aliss said:


> lisaf said:
> 
> 
> my friend had a super easy labor, didn't even think she needed to go to the hospital when she actually really did etc... she said pushing was the worst part.
> It does seem to vary a lot.
> 
> Hmm, maybe it really was the worst for her then. I was in labour 3 days with induction so to me, it was the 'relief' stage :flower:Click to expand...

lol totally! She was in labor for maybe 10 hours total, including pushing I think?
It was crazy... we got a text msg she was in labor... few hours later got a text msg they were leaving for the hospital... less than 2 hours later got a text msg with a picture of her holding the baby.
I truly thought they were messing with us and 'borrowed' a baby for the picture :haha:


----------



## aliss

Wow impressive :) Some girls are just designed for labour! Not me lol..


----------



## PeanutBean

^ Nor me apparently but maybe this time will change my mind on that. I'm definitely not designed for pregnancy!


----------



## Emmy1987

Thanks for this thread! It's been an eye opener but with loads of helpful tips!! I thought it was just push baby out, placenta magically shoots out 5 mins later, bit of light bleeding, go home and there we are. I am SO glad I know what could happen! I could imagine screaming the ward down about something I hadn't known about :dohh:


----------



## KandyKinz

lisaf said:


> my friend had a super easy labor, didn't even think she needed to go to the hospital when she actually really did etc... she said pushing was the worst part.
> It does seem to vary a lot.


I definitly find that in labours with no epidurals women who cope really well during labour have a very difficult time with pushing while women who struggle with contractions tend to handle or even enjoy the pushing stage much more..... 

At the births I've been to eventually I'd start to guess how the woman would react to the pushing stage based on how she was handling the contractions at 5-7cm dilated and very rarely would I be wrong...... though I was never ever able to figure out why that discrepency exists.


----------



## MissFox

That's really interesting.


----------



## Tiffa130

Thankyou, thankyou thankyou.


----------



## rae27

I'd just like to say I've really appreciated this thread. I love how it has encouraged so many women to share their honest to god experiences of birth and recovery etc. So often you only hear one side of things and for those of us who are doing this for the first time it's really reassuring to know that there are so many different ways for things to unfurl and that just because our own experience is not like how it is often depicted in films (most of us will happily admit that this is our main experience of these things!) we are not "doing it wrong". To me it seems as though this is exactly what BnB is all about. We are a collective of women (and men!) who are looking for guidance and support from like-minded and like-situationed (think I've made that phrase up!) people.
Thank you for starting this thread and thank you to everyone who has contributed constructively!


----------



## Tadan

KandyKinz said:


> lisaf said:
> 
> 
> my friend had a super easy labor, didn't even think she needed to go to the hospital when she actually really did etc... she said pushing was the worst part.
> It does seem to vary a lot.
> 
> 
> I definitly find that in labours with no epidurals women who cope really well during labour have a very difficult time with pushing while women who struggle with contractions tend to handle or even enjoy the pushing stage much more.....
> 
> At the births I've been to eventually I'd start to guess how the woman would react to the pushing stage based on how she was handling the contractions at 5-7cm dilated and very rarely would I be wrong...... though I was never ever able to figure out why that discrepency exists.Click to expand...

That's fascinating!


----------



## flubdub

Is this thread a sticky yet? :)


----------



## Danii

flubdub said:


> Is this thread a sticky yet? :)

Noope.. Not yet, I've posted in the forum help section so maybe it will get stickied... :S not sure tho hun.. I hope it is because its a bloody good thread!


----------



## Tadan

Definately, people have shared sooo many stories that really do fill in the gaps so to speak. I feel so much more prepared after reading this :)


----------



## Hunnybear

Here's something I learned recently which even my husband didn't know! If you are having a boy and not getting him circumcised then do NOT attempt to retract his foreskin for cleaning. Although adults do this, boys are born with their foreskin attached and it isn't until the age of 6-7 or even as late as 10 that it separates by itself and then can be retracted for cleaning etc! Retracting before this can cause tearing, damage and severe pain!

I'm glad I found this out, no one tells you these things! And obviously men don't remember this when they are older so it's not exactly something that is common knowledge.


----------



## MumtoJ

I have a little boy who is un-circumcised and luckily did know this. Had to take him to drs as he was complaining his willy was hurting, and the doctor asked my to pull to forskin back, I was horrified and refused and said to him it hadn't seperated yet (DS is 3) so this piece of info is definately worth sharing as some doctors from cultures where circumcision is the norm don't always realise.


----------



## PeanutBean

^^ Try not to worry, you'll pick up so much of this stuff in baby club too!


----------



## Zedfaca

I'm so scared of having to look after a boy's frank and beans! I grew up just me, my mum and my sister so if I'm pretty clued up if I have a girl. No idea how to look after a boy! I'll feel such a terrific sense of responsibility. What if I hurt him? He needs that thing!


----------



## MumtoJ

Zedfaca said:


> I'm so scared of having to look after a boy's frank and beans! I grew up just me, my mum and my sister so if I'm pretty clued up if I have a girl. No idea how to look after a boy! I'll feel such a terrific sense of responsibility. What if I hurt him? He needs that thing!


Don't worry, I'd grown up with all sisters so was worried I wouldn't know how to look after him, just ask the MW when he's born and she will happily show you. 

Also the book they give you (mw / hv once your home) in the UK birth to 5 has alot of that type of info in as well so don't worry about it.


----------



## tjw

Haven't read through all of the comments but thought I would add mine:

Not sure if this happens after natural labour/birth, but after my c section and for several days, it still felt like I had a baby inside me moving about and kicking. I was convinced at first that they'd missed a second baby somehow.... only to be told by one of the midwives "Oh that's normal love, just your insides getting back to where they should be." 

Oh, thanks for the warning, I was convinced the previously thought of missed second baby was starving of oxygen etc..... I'll be ready for it this time! :thumbup:


----------



## PeanutBean

^ Oh yes! Ever since my last pregnancy I can feel my guts moving much more and it really does feel like baby movements. It's very odd


----------



## lisaf

I have to say that I was at the doctors yesterday. They had a pregnancy magazine in the waiting room with a 'postpartum special' section. It went over all the things about labor or right after that you may not know.
That magazine has NOTHING on you ladies! First off, everything they listed has been mentioned here, but there was soooo much more here! :)


----------



## Tadan

Wow I'm not having a boy but i'm soo glad you have shared because it will be useful to know for future reference (plus my brother and his gf are having a baby 4 months after us, so if they have a boy i'm pretty clued up haha)


----------



## lilaries0411

One of the things I want to warn the mommies who may get a c-section about is a possible infection. When I had my c-sec. for my twins my doctor noticed that I may have an infections and the way they handle it is seriously horrible and no one prepared me for what was about to happen. They took out all the stitches and staples and reopened everything back up. They got the huge Q-tips that are about 12 inchs long and had to use about 50 of them every time to clean out the incision with saline salution 4 times a day then they would pack it closed with gauze :nope:. It was the worst thing in the world to go through and no one even told me it might happen. The had to pull out the gauze, clean it and repack it 4 times a day until it healed ( about 8 weeks). They had nursed come out to my home and do this, I didn't get any numbing meds I had to feel it all. It was horrible. So make sure you have the doctors clean your incision really really well after they put in the stitches and cover it really well after your surgery so this doesn't happen. I seriously wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.. it was that bad 
Other then that the only other thing no one prepared me for was the horrible gas you get after you have the baby. Since you are so sore down there its hard to push (sry tmi) you cant fart or poo for a few days and the gas you get is horrible and really hurts, but after you make ur first poo you feel so much better :thumbup:. Hope this helps someone out. I hope I didnt scare anyone. That was not my intent!:winkwink:


----------



## Tadan

Thanks for sharing. Sounds horrific, sorry you had to go through that :hugs: We all need to be prepared for anything, so it's good to hear stories like yours too :flower:


----------



## PeanutBean

Some more thoughts about things the films definitely don't tell you. You can have your baby at home! You don't even need a doctor. Your body can give birth all by itself and forced pushing is very much going out of fashion for newly trained mws as your body is able to naturally push out the baby when it's ready. Labour can last a long time but you can do all that at home and not even need an epidural or pethidine or even gas and air. You also don't need to have internals to find out how dilated you are as there are a number of outward measures that can be taken. You can labour and give birth in a pool, on a birthing stool, standing up, propped against a wall, against your partner or leaning on a kitchen worktop. You don't need to be on your back, in fact that makes it all much harder, more painful and increases the risk of tearing.

Just thought I'd share some positive stuff too!


----------



## Mya209

lilaries0411 said:


> One of the things I want to warn the mommies who may get a c-section about is a possible infection. When I had my c-sec. for my twins my doctor noticed that I may have an infections and the way they handle it is seriously horrible and no one prepared me for what was about to happen. They took out all the stitches and staples and reopened everything back up. They got the huge Q-tips that are about 12 inchs long and had to use about 50 of them every time to clean out the incision with saline salution 4 times a day then they would pack it closed with gauze :nope:. It was the worst thing in the world to go through and no one even told me it might happen. The had to pull out the gauze, clean it and repack it 4 times a day until it healed ( about 8 weeks). They had nursed come out to my home and do this, I didn't get any numbing meds I had to feel it all. It was horrible. So make sure you have the doctors clean your incision really really well after they put in the stitches and cover it really well after your surgery so this doesn't happen. I seriously wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.. it was that bad
> Other then that the only other thing no one prepared me for was the horrible gas you get after you have the baby. Since you are so sore down there its hard to push (sry tmi) you cant fart or poo for a few days and the gas you get is horrible and really hurts, but after you make ur first poo you feel so much better :thumbup:. Hope this helps someone out. I hope I didnt scare anyone. That was not my intent!:winkwink:

Eek! That's scary! poor You!!!


----------



## river_mommy

Thank you everyone for sharing all your experiences with us, it is the most useful info a new mom can get directly from ppl who were actually doing it!!
Thanks to you all!
:hugs:
:thumbup:


----------



## caro103

PeanutBean said:


> Some more thoughts about things the films definitely don't tell you. You can have your baby at home! You don't even need a doctor. Your body can give birth all by itself and forced pushing is very much going out of fashion for newly trained mws as your body is able to naturally push out the baby when it's ready. Labour can last a long time but you can do all that at home and not even need an epidural or pethidine or even gas and air. You also don't need to have internals to find out how dilated you are as there are a number of outward measures that can be taken. You can labour and give birth in a pool, on a birthing stool, standing up, propped against a wall, against your partner or leaning on a kitchen worktop. You don't need to be on your back, in fact that makes it all much harder, more painful and increases the risk of tearing.
> 
> Just thought I'd share some positive stuff too!

thanks hun! You've prob seen me around the home birth thread a few times...but was just wondering...what are the methods of knowing how dilated you are without internals?? sorry if its a dumb question :blush: x


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## Tadan

It's not a dumb question, i'd like to know too!


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## PeanutBean

https://sarahvine.wordpress.com/201...-assessing-dilation-without-an-internal-exam/


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## Tadan

I like this one! I can give this a go easy lol:



> 4. Feel. Here come some of the more fun tools that you might not have heard of before! Think about the shape of the uterus. Before labor, the muscle of the uterus is thick evenly around all sides, above, below, behind. As the cervix starts thinning and dilating, all that muscle has to go somewhere  it bunches up at that top. The top of the uterus thickens dramatically the more the cervix opens. During a contraction, at the beginning of labor, check how many fingers you can fit between the fundus (top of your bump) and the bra line  you will be able to fit 5 fingers. As the top of the fundus rises higher during labor, you will fit fewer and fewer fingers. When you can fit 3 fingers, I usually tell mothers they can think about going into hospital as they will find they are around 5cm dilated. At 1 finger, you are fully dilated. (Awesome, huh! Here is a blog post by a woman who describes in great detail checking her own cervix just before she went into labor.)


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## PeanutBean

I found internals to be the single most uncomfortable thing from the whole of labour (though I didn't get to feel crowning) so I'm all about not having them this time. I was very pleased when I was given this link a few months ago.


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## Tadan

This is my first so I havent experience any yet, but as a reaaally private person the thought of them has really freaked me out! Gosh, I had a male doctor today at my growth scan and I felt sooo uncomfortable! I need to make sure my birth plan says no men, I can't do it! Anyway point being, I appreciate the link! I'll deffo be showing OH and trying these out before any internals! Well at least try!


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## PeanutBean

I hate them too and for me I DID still feel humiliated in labour and I remember it all. I find smears pretty uncomfortable and always have but the internals were off the scale!


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## Tadan

I haven't had a smear yet (due to age) so dont even have that to compare to!
How many internals do you have on average?


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## PeanutBean

In labour? It totally depends. If your waters go internals are contraindicated so the mws should hold off doing them as long as possible - they increase the risk of infection. Generally they'll be done when you first go in, if it looks like you're progressing fast or slow, to check for full dilation if the urge to push is there. Just at regular intervals if you're labouring a while but doing ok. If you have a drip like I did I had to have an internal four hours after to see if I was dilated (or it was section time - luckily I was).


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## Tadan

Ahhh I see! So my plan in hoping to stay at home as long as possible before hand will help me out then :D


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## Zedfaca

It's quite easy to check yourself for dilation once you get going. I'm up to about five centimeters and I can feel that no problem! As long as you're gentle with yourself and wash your hands thoroughly, I don't see anything wrong with having a feel yourself. Obviously you're not going to be able to get more than a rough idea because you're not an expert but it is your body and your cervix. I'm much more comfortable checking it myself in these hours or days before I go into hospital than having some stranger stick her hand in there!


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## Tadan

You're 5cm now? like this minute?! And on here?! Are you superwoman? :haha:


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## Zedfaca

I know, right?? That's another thing the films don't tell you! Labour can be slooooooooooooooooooow!! I've been getting contractions for ooh about nine hours now. I've called the hospital and they've said to come in when I'm in agony. It's more just like bad period pains and back ache for now. I live literally down the road so I'm happier in my own bed. It's not all waters gushing everywhere and rolling around screaming it seems. A lot of it is quite boring!!


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## Tadan

That's crazy!! I thought maybe the beginning bit was like that, but thought when you were like 4-5 you go to the hospital and it all goes from there?? So when do you plan on going down? 10 is the max for when the head comes, right?


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## Zedfaca

Labour really is unpredictable! Just goes to show! I really thought it would be all panic stations and having to be winched out to the car while effing and blinding! I'm just lying here while my husband gets some sleep and every five minutes going gosh that's a little painful then feeling fine again! I dunno, I had a long chat with the midwife and she said you sound fine, come in when you're in proper pain! I guess all they can do is check the baby's heart rate but it's wriggling around and getting hiccups so it must be ok. I'll probably try and get some rest and pop along in the morning. I was not expecting it to be like this! I feel like I'm planning a trip to the shop for some milk!


----------



## pester

Tadan said:


> This is my first so I havent experience any yet, but as a reaaally private person the thought of them has really freaked me out! Gosh, I had a male doctor today at my growth scan and I felt sooo uncomfortable! I need to make sure my birth plan says no men, I can't do it! Anyway point being, I appreciate the link! I'll deffo be showing OH and trying these out before any internals! Well at least try!

Glad I'm not thie only one who feels that way. I'm so like I don't want anyone down there particularly a man other than my husband!


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## caRISSasBump

thinking adult nappy's sound like an great idea for all that blood!! hahahaha :)

Thanks for all the info- it does sound a bit scary but i keep thinking if a 14/ 15/ 16 etc year old can do it then so can i at 29!! :D


----------



## carmyz

Thanks for all the info ladies was helpful and made me remember wat it was like after the birth of my boys

goin to add my bits and pieces.

Birth - listen to ur body, keep a open mind as not every labour will go to plan, in between contractions relax ur muscles as much as u can go limp tension and labour dont mix well when tryin to get ur baby out.. push like ur doin a massive poo forget about dignity ladies when ur in labour ur not goin to care one bit..i was never sick or nausous durin labour i didnt scream but moaned a bit..gas and air is great although i dont think it was workin that well with ds2 cause i was in alot of pain still but i guess thats wat happens with a 80min labour??.. ring of fire hurts alot but u just gotta push past it. :)

afterpains for me 2nd time round i remember them more and ladies if ur b/f it will hurt mostly then and it hurts quite a bit.

Pain relief for after - dont forget to ask for them, i had a episiotomy ds1 and ds2 i tore and i made sure i was always dosed up i would know when it was time cause my stitches would start to get sore so i would press the button for the m/w to come and ask for it.

Tearin/episi - hurt like hell gettin sewn up even with g&a i could feel the lady stitching me up but it was her touchin me that hurt..like others have said try and pee in the shower or take a cup of water with u..also sittin forward sometimes works lol..pooing scares me lol make sure u drink plenty of water so its easier to pass..i put toilet paper on my bits and hold it up cause it does really feel like ur insides are goin to fall out..even after uv had bubs its totally weird when u first get up..after i had stitches both times i never got checked which i am relieved about lol but if i was concerned about it bein infected i would of... i showered quite alot after i had my babies and i think thats the main thing to prevent infection and changin pads every 3hrs or so depening on flow..plus i liked the feelin of bein clean and refreashed.

Breastfeeding- dont forget ur breastpads ..i put mine on after my first shower as they start leakin pretty much from then on..dont forget to change them regulary to probably when they smell milky..the best cream to get is lansinoh its rich and thick so u only need a lil..u dont need to take it off as its safe for bubs.. if ur serious about b/fing invest in a nipple shield as it will give u relief and let ur nipple heal and ur still able to b/f i loved mine and defently goin to use it again im sure i ll need to as i ll need to get a hang of it all again lol.. iv got the avent one..also some m/w or b/fing consultants dont like u using them but its better then stoppin altogether cause ur nipples are falling apart and bleeding.

thats all i can think of atm i hope i was of some help .. :)


----------



## Tadan

Zedfaca said:


> Labour really is unpredictable! Just goes to show! I really thought it would be all panic stations and having to be winched out to the car while effing and blinding! I'm just lying here while my husband gets some sleep and every five minutes going gosh that's a little painful then feeling fine again! I dunno, I had a long chat with the midwife and she said you sound fine, come in when you're in proper pain! I guess all they can do is check the baby's heart rate but it's wriggling around and getting hiccups so it must be ok. I'll probably try and get some rest and pop along in the morning. I was not expecting it to be like this! I feel like I'm planning a trip to the shop for some milk!

I'm actually glad you have come and posted, you have made me feel even more at ease about it all! :)
I'm patiently waiting to hear that your bubs is with us! :happydance:


----------



## Tadan

pester said:


> Tadan said:
> 
> 
> This is my first so I havent experience any yet, but as a reaaally private person the thought of them has really freaked me out! Gosh, I had a male doctor today at my growth scan and I felt sooo uncomfortable! I need to make sure my birth plan says no men, I can't do it! Anyway point being, I appreciate the link! I'll deffo be showing OH and trying these out before any internals! Well at least try!
> 
> Glad I'm not thie only one who feels that way. I'm so like I don't want anyone down there particularly a man other than my husband!Click to expand...

I think they should warn you if it's going to be a man. He was rough too, pushing my belly "does it hurt"..."does that hurt" well no, but seeing as you are pushing hard then yeah!! Grrr! 
I hope he's not at my next one.. I will have to say something to someone I think because it's not fair to feel uncomfortable.


----------



## Zedfaca

Tadan said:


> Zedfaca said:
> 
> 
> Labour really is unpredictable! Just goes to show! I really thought it would be all panic stations and having to be winched out to the car while effing and blinding! I'm just lying here while my husband gets some sleep and every five minutes going gosh that's a little painful then feeling fine again! I dunno, I had a long chat with the midwife and she said you sound fine, come in when you're in proper pain! I guess all they can do is check the baby's heart rate but it's wriggling around and getting hiccups so it must be ok. I'll probably try and get some rest and pop along in the morning. I was not expecting it to be like this! I feel like I'm planning a trip to the shop for some milk!
> 
> I'm actually glad you have come and posted, you have made me feel even more at ease about it all! :)
> I'm patiently waiting to hear that your bubs is with us! :happydance:Click to expand...

Baby has arrived! It's a little boy. I'll put up an update here soon with all my birth unexpecteds!


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## Tadan

Ahhh! Yay! Congratulations!!! can't wait to hear the story and see pics, I bet he's beaaautiful!


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## MumtoJ

Zedfaca said:


> Tadan said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Zedfaca said:
> 
> 
> Labour really is unpredictable! Just goes to show! I really thought it would be all panic stations and having to be winched out to the car while effing and blinding! I'm just lying here while my husband gets some sleep and every five minutes going gosh that's a little painful then feeling fine again! I dunno, I had a long chat with the midwife and she said you sound fine, come in when you're in proper pain! I guess all they can do is check the baby's heart rate but it's wriggling around and getting hiccups so it must be ok. I'll probably try and get some rest and pop along in the morning. I was not expecting it to be like this! I feel like I'm planning a trip to the shop for some milk!
> 
> I'm actually glad you have come and posted, you have made me feel even more at ease about it all! :)
> I'm patiently waiting to hear that your bubs is with us! :happydance:Click to expand...
> 
> Baby has arrived! It's a little boy. I'll put up an update here soon with all my birth unexpecteds!Click to expand...

Congratulations - looking forward to the update (& pics please)


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## MissFox

Congrats!!!!


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## Tadan

BUMP!

Any more ladies with info? especially seeing as theres a lot of birth stories ;) hehe


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## 2ndtimeAbz

I don't know if anyone has mentioned this before - but just before you start pushing and contractions are very strong - you go a bit loopy and start saying silly stuff. I know i did and I've heard it from a few others too. I started telling my OH that I didn't want to do it anymore and I wanted to go home! lol
Then I was allowed to start pushing which was such a good feeling - like it felt I could finally do something rather than just riding things out!


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## flugella

Thank you so much for this ladies! Have forwarded a link to the thread to OH so he can read and learn!


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## aliss

Most of all, try not to sweat the 'scary' things like an episiotomy or epidural needle. As ANY mom will tell you, you will welcome them. Episiotomy means labour is almost over, and you will practically be humping the anesthesiologist with love at that point. I was so scared of those things but I look forward to them the next time around!!!!!

It's like losing your virginity. You heard that it hurts and you are petrified- but then when it's over you think, "oh.... that's it? Okay it hurt a little but it was more good than bad" :rofl:


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## 0_o

aliss said:


> Most of all, try not to sweat the 'scary' things like an episiotomy or epidural needle. As ANY mom will tell you, you will welcome them. Episiotomy means labour is almost over, and you will practically be humping the anesthesiologist with love at that point. I was so scared of those things but I look forward to them the next time around!!!!!
> 
> It's like losing your virginity. You heard that it hurts and you are petrified- but then when it's over you think, "oh.... that's it? Okay it hurt a little but it was more good than bad" :rofl:

I agree! I didn't feel a thing when having my epidural. I was amazed, I was always so worried about the big needle + pain etc, but it wasn't big at all and I felt nothing having it done. XX


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## Tadan

aliss said:


> Most of all, try not to sweat the 'scary' things like an episiotomy or epidural needle. As ANY mom will tell you, you will welcome them. Episiotomy means labour is almost over, and you will practically be humping the anesthesiologist with love at that point. I was so scared of those things but I look forward to them the next time around!!!!!
> 
> It's like losing your virginity. You heard that it hurts and you are petrified- but then when it's over you think, "oh.... that's it? Okay it hurt a little but it was more good than bad" :rofl:

:rofl: One way of looking at it!


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## Tadan

Any one got any stories or experiences rather, with hypnobirthing? Or any relaxation techniques, etc?


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## kiraelliott

Tadan said:


> aliss said:
> 
> 
> Most of all, try not to sweat the 'scary' things like an episiotomy or epidural needle. As ANY mom will tell you, you will welcome them. Episiotomy means labour is almost over, and you will practically be humping the anesthesiologist with love at that point. I was so scared of those things but I look forward to them the next time around!!!!!
> 
> It's like losing your virginity. You heard that it hurts and you are petrified- but then when it's over you think, "oh.... that's it? Okay it hurt a little but it was more good than bad" :rofl:
> 
> :rofl: One way of looking at it!Click to expand...

I clearly drew the short straw when I lost my virginity then, not that it hurt but it was rubbish!!! lmao!


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## MissFox

My first time was HORRIBLE! And it hurt, but first times shouldn't go for 45 minutes. :dohh:


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## PeanutBean

Tadan said:


> Any one got any stories or experiences rather, with hypnobirthing? Or any relaxation techniques, etc?

Not yet but after being sceptical last pregnancy I actually listened to a relaxation CD last night for the first time. I'm hoping it will help and this time I'm embracing anything that's different to my experience with my son! If you pop over to home and natural birthing though you'll find a few threads about hypnobirthing and there's also a new thread collecting positive home birthing stories so in there I am sure there will be experiences of hypnobirthing. A bump buddy of mine from last pregnancy who has had a second child now delivered both times at home in the pool and she said she found relaxation techniques really helpful.


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## Tadan

Great, thanks! I will look over there.. i tend not to venture outside 3rd tri.. I shall have a nose tomorrow!


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## Zedfaca

Ok I haven't had a chance to write up any birth tale yet but here are my tips for ladies yet to give birth.

I might have to add more later because I'm feeling a bit scatterbrained at the minute!

Make sure you sleep lots in the time before you have your baby. I felt like I should scrub the world clean in the weeks before and like I was being lazy for laying around. By the time I gave birth, I'd already hardly slept for two nights. Get your naps in or even just a relaxing afternoon on the sofa if you can't sleep.

Listen to your instincts when you think you're in labour. I just knew something was different that day. I checked my own cervix and I knew something was going on with it. I could feel the bag of waters and guessed I was four or five centimeters. I spoke to a midwife and she told me I couldn't possibly know what I was talking about. It really upset me and made me doubt what I knew was happening. My husband had to phone them back up and insist I went in to be examined. Sure enough, I was four centimeters with a bulging bag of waters. Twenty minutes after I arrived, my waters went. I only just avoided a very messy car journey.

Bring tons of clothes to change into. It will just make you feel nicer. Bring a million pairs of underwear and your own pads. Stack them up in there! Keep doing this for the bleeding afterwards.

If you want pain relief, say before you get desperate. Don't try to be brave. It's an achievement enough to give birth and you should be proud no matter how you get that baby out!

I was terrified of the indignity of it all. I hated hearing people say, oh you won't mind at the time. Being in that state sounded awful. The truth is, you really won't be ashamed of your body. It will just be you and your birth partner and the nurses who are there to help you. You'll be grateful they're there.


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## Zedfaca

Zone out for your contractions. Don't fight them. Just close your eyes and try to drift away. Your body will help you do this when it needs to, so don't panic if you feel like you won't be able to.

Pushing is the best and the worst bit. It's the most painful, but it's the easiest because you will want it so much. Scream if you need to. I did. It helps.

I tore my labia, which I didn't know could happen! It sounds worse than it is. Nothing else ripped so I guess it was the place that had to give. I knew it was happening but the only thought in my head was, I want my baby!

As soon as the baby is born, you will leave that weird dimension of being in labour. Giving birth really is like being in a different reality. You will find strength you didn't know you had. When it's over, you feel very calm and maybe even detached. I was thrilled to see my baby but it was a little while before it really registered.

The bleeding you get afterwards can go yellowy instead of brownish. Mine is stopping and it's only been three days.

Pile up your maternity pads! Use the bed sheets too. You can wipe with them too instead of toilet paper because they're way softer. I got a spray bottle of water to keep clean with because I didn't like pouring water on. I also got a bit of a fishy smell at first which wasn't nice but went away.

I am black with bruises and very swollen. I looked to see the damage and I'm glad I did because I'd imagined something horrific. It's basically like a black eye. Same shape but pretty battered.


----------



## MustangGTgirl

Hunnybear said:


> Here's something I learned recently which even my husband didn't know! If you are having a boy and not getting him circumcised then do NOT attempt to retract his foreskin for cleaning. Although adults do this, boys are born with their foreskin attached and it isn't until the age of 6-7 or even as late as 10 that it separates by itself and then can be retracted for cleaning etc! Retracting before this can cause tearing, damage and severe pain!
> 
> I'm glad I found this out, no one tells you these things! And obviously men don't remember this when they are older so it's not exactly something that is common knowledge.

Yes it varies in each boy. My oldest is 8 and his just barely started pulling back but he says it still hurts and my baby is 2 and his already pulls back wonderfully!


----------



## Zedfaca

Breastfeeding, changing a baby, getting a baby to sleep, picking a baby up etc is tricky. You're allowed to make mistakes and it all gradually gets a bit easier until you feel like you've got the hang of it. Expect to be awake all night doing these things and be patient with yourself if you can't do them perfectly. It will be ok. Everyone is a beginner at first. The baby will be just as unsure as you.

Um... Don't have too many visitors. Imagine you have a terrible hangover. You're tired, hungry, grotty and feeling poorly. Do you really want your aunt whoever coming over? Just get your partner to send a message saying you're asleep. Your relatives and friends can deal with not seeing the baby straight away.

Hmm that's all I can think of for now. Oh make sure you have good painkillers from the hospital if you need them or pick up some co-codamol from the chemist to have in the house. Your lady area will be sore, your boobs will be sore and your tummy will be cramping. There are no prizes for being in pain!

If you get a chance to nap, grab it! That's what I'm going to do now. And yes, sleep at 3.30 in the morning will still feel like a nap. You will live on naps!

Oh one last thing, keep all your favourite snacks stocked up and handy by your sofa and next to your bed. You might not feel like moving to make a big dinner or be that hungry once you get it. Snacks are easier. You can diet later!

Hope this all helps!


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## MustangGTgirl

Oh I just thought of something I wanted add... if you get an epidural (and oh how I loved mine, twice) be sure that you have somebody that will pick up your legs and center them on the bed for you after it kicks in. It is not a very fun experience to see them slipping off the side of the bed and not being able to do anything about it and then almost sliding completely off the bed because your leg fell off the bed. I had to get mine re-centered multiple times and had to have the doctor and nurse do it multiple times too, not sure how they kept moving but they did.

Also, if you have to get a drip to make you go in to labor like I did, it makes you pee like all the time. I had to get up and pee literally every 10 minutes. Well when you are in full blown contractions (before you have an epidural) it is absolutely horrible because I couldn't even make it to the bathroom without having a horrible contraction, then by the time I peed I would have another contraction while on the toilet, then I would have another one on the way back to the bed...yeah not fun contracting while trying to get from point A to point B.


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## MissFox

Thanks Zedfaca!!!!
Glad to hear things went well for you and such a recent birth! Glad to hear all of the experiences!!!


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## daisyduck

Apologies if this has been mentioned already - I haven't read through the entire thread (it's soooo long)!!

But one funny thing that really shocked me was the size of my boobs when i started breastfeeding!!! ha ha!!

Seriously, they just ballooned!!! I was having to express at first as my little boy was in scbu n I expected them to grow a bit obviously, but I had to ring my OH and get him to pick up some HUGE feeding bra's on his way to the hospital that day!!!

Even the nurses on the ward were joking that I was producing enough milk to feed everyone's babies on there!! My son was feeding on one and the other was filling a bottle ready for later... sorry if thats a bit tmi but it really surprised me - totally unexpected!

My advice - stock up on breast pads n b sure to have BIG bras!! :)

xx


----------



## Tadan

Thank you all :)

Zedfaca - thanks for all that information! It's nice to hear it this close after the birth because no doubt some things are forgotten months later. Seems like you're doing great, I still can't believe you were on here while waiting to go in lol


----------



## SweetFramboiz

Tadan said:


> Right, I thought we could start a thread which helps us first timers with questions and information that the films/tv don't tell you!
> 
> If it were anything like the films, we'd be sick for 3 months, then no symptoms until our waters break and half hour or so later with a few pushes the baby is here! Oh if only!
> 
> I'm a first time mum and I have no babies around me so everything is scary! How to change a nappy, how to make a bottle, etc, etc.. Also I know nothing about the birth process, I mean other than what the films show! :lol: Everything I know I have learnt from here! I didn't know we bleed after (how long for? how heavy?) and no one tells you about the after birth! (how long after the baby does this come? does it slide out/do you push?) etc, etc...
> 
> So calling all mums and anyone with information.. fill us in please?!


https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnancy-third-trimester/466230-had-my-baby-boyc-tips.html#post7828893


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## Tadan

Thanks :)


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## SweetFramboiz

U r welcome:thumbup:


----------



## haze

My main one was that I was convinced for about 6 weeks after I had the baby that I was pregnant again because I could feel 'kicking' but it wasn't it was my uterus going back into the right place, had a proper panic a few times lol.


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## Tadan

That is so freaky! I can imagine all the "OMG they missed a twin in there" thoughts lol


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## Tadan

Bumping for all the new ladies in 3rd :)


----------



## WeenieWoo

chelsea1978 said:


> sorry, but i think this thread is ridiculous and unnecessary, and is going to cause a lot of ladies to panic, as it seemingly already has.
> 
> I dont have a problem with the original poster starting the thread- as she enquired about something she wasnt sure about, and it was answered for her.
> 
> but some of the responses are totally irrelevant, as any mother can only talk based on their own experience. whilst some things may be helpful to know, nobody can give you a definite answer, they can only talk about what the experience was like for *them*, and their experience may be a lot better, worse, or totally different to yours.
> 
> this is been proven by some ladies saying the "ring of fire" was the worst part of labour for them, whilst others have said that they found that easier to deal with than the contractions. someone else mentioned that they had 6 weeks of very heavy bleeding with large clots, where as somebody else said that their bleeding only lasted for 12 days and the majority of it was like a light period. there are loads of other contradictions too because each birth is so unique to each lady, as is pregnancy.
> 
> whilst tips are helpful, as well as any guidance/feedback when asking a specific question, its ridiculous and foolish for any woman to say "oh be prepared for this, they dont warn u about this, its awful etc" as there is no guarantee that will apply to another lady, the same as with your experience of pregnancy compared to someone else's!
> 
> my mind was boggling and felt over swamped after reading alot of this. being prepared is one thing, but im sure we could all do without being worried this close to giving birth, about things that may not even apply to us.
> 
> the point im making is that your experience will depend largely on your situation, and circumstances at the time, as well as your own body.
> 
> so please stop scaremongering people!!



WOW - if you dont like it - dont read it. personally i think these ladies are doing an amazing thing - sharing their stories. I was totally niave about what happens after birth and this thread has really opened my eyes and prepared me in so may ways. if i hadnt read this thread, i would have just gone into shock after birth and would have probably worried unnessecarily.

We are not stupid, we know that what happens to some women may not happen to others and that everybody is different, but i think i speak for most women on here, its nice to know in advance what "could" happen and that its probably ok if it does.

if women dont want to read this thread for whatever reason - there are plenty of other threads to read


----------



## Tadan

It's weird but I think towards the end, mainly everyone in 3rd tri, is getting used to the idea of birth and this kinda thread helps. I remember when I was in 1st and 2nd tri I reaaally didn't want to think about it, wouldnt watch anything about it on telly lol.
Since about 28ish weeks I have been interested in what happens, I read up on stuff all the time, and I will watch anything about giving birth on telly! And I don't mind seeing all the bits n stuff lmao! I think there's something about knowing you're in the home stretch that encourages you to know more about it. Now I'm ready for it, I've had all this help from these ladies and I am mentally prepared. I went to a parentcraft class on the weekend and what I've picked up on here has prepared me alot more than what they had to say. In fact, I felt like the swot of the class answering all the questions haha!

I'm just waiting for my SIL to get to the stage where she wants to know more about it, so I can direct her here! ATM I have been warned not to share anything nor tell her after the birth what it was like lol (she'll be 22 weeks on my DD)


----------



## Danii

Tadan said:


> It's weird but I think towards the end, mainly everyone in 3rd tri, is getting used to the idea of birth and this kinda thread helps. I remember when I was in 1st and 2nd tri I reaaally didn't want to think about it, wouldnt watch anything about it on telly lol.
> But now I'm ready for it, I've had all this help from these ladies and I am mentally prepared. I went to a parentcraft class on the weekend and what I've picked up on here has prepared me alot more than what they had to say. In fact, I felt like the swot of the class answering all the questions haha!

Lol! This tread _is_ my parentcraft! :haha:


----------



## PeanutBean

Wow I never saw that post! I skipped through the middle of the thread as there was sooo much!

It's a difficult balance to strike between frightening new mums about others' bad birth experiences and educating them as to how they can prevent it. In many cases what happens IS preventable without enough education and resolve in the mum and their birth partner. I had a bad experience and can see that everything that was bad about it was down to medical intervention and can be traced back to a single decision in my healthcare that was unnecessary and not even hospital policy. I know when I share my bad story I'm trying to get across how it could've been so much more positive if I'd only know a bit more and stood my ground. I don't think any mum who has had a bad time is trying to scare new mums to be. If we don't talk about these things then how will the same mistakes ever be prevented from happening?


----------



## LastOneDefo

I really wish someone had told me how to push when having my first baby, would have saved an hour or so of trying not to poo. Its all very well the midwife saying 'push into your bottom'?!?! But if she'd have said look...push like you're doing the biggest poo of all time and bobs your uncle you've cracked it! Second time round only took 15 mins of pushing 'cos I knew what to do. My second birth experience was pretty amazing... no stinging lady parts when weeing, even the number two's were fine. Bleeding only lasted about 14 days, infact the next day when the M/W came to visit I told her I didn't physically feel like I'd just given birth the previous day, unlike after my first when I felt like I'd been hit by a bus....several times!! So it just goes to show, each birth and each lady is different. Its nice to be prepared of what MIGHT happen, but don't think all these things WILL happen to you.


----------



## victoriajane

Chelsea 1978, i may be several weeks behind most of this thread and saying what a lot of people have already said but I feel I *have* to respond to your post as I don't think this thread is ridiculous at all! It's answering an awful lot of questions for me and we've had stories telling of all types of experiences so I don't think that's scare mongering. This thread has been fantastically helpful in settling some of my fears and answering the ridiculous questions i don't want to bother my mdwife with. 

I would like to say a massive thank you to all the ladies who have shared their experiences here.


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## Tadan

LastOneDefo said:


> I really wish someone had told me how to push when having my first baby, would have saved an hour or so of trying not to poo. Its all very well the midwife saying 'push into your bottom'?!?! But if she'd have said look...*push like you're doing the biggest poo of all time and bobs your uncle you've cracked it*! Second time round only took 15 mins of pushing 'cos I knew what to do. My second birth experience was pretty amazing... no stinging lady parts when weeing, even the number two's were fine. Bleeding only lasted about 14 days, infact the next day when the M/W came to visit I told her I didn't physically feel like I'd just given birth the previous day, unlike after my first when I felt like I'd been hit by a bus....several times!! So it just goes to show, each birth and each lady is different. Its nice to be prepared of what MIGHT happen, but don't think all these things WILL happen to you.

:haha: Thank you! Good to keep in mind ! 
I wonder if your second was better because you were aware of everything? Or if it's just the simple fact different births = different experiences.


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## MissFox

I'm really hoping that knowing to push like a big poo is coming will help me get baby out faster! My mom didn't know either with her 2nd (we're 18 years apart) and they kept telling her to push "here" and used their fingers to show her where but he wasn't coming out until she thought she had to poo and tried to push the poo out... then all of a sudden they were like "PUSH LIKE THAT! HES COMING"


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## jenfen

Tadan said:


> Lol I know! How annoying! Thing is, for people like me who are uneducated in this area, we could assume that this is how it is, and what an awful shock to have :lol:
> Luckily a few girls I know have just given birth so I've picked up a few things from asking them but I'm too scared to read the birth stories on here..I'd rather go through it myself without worrying about little things or thinking it'll be easy when i'm still there 48hours later.. I can't even find anything in my pregnancy book off the MW that states anything about the placenta, etc. Everything is so focused on the baby being delivered, but what happens after that? It's not all yay lets get dressed and go home!

It might be worth getting a good pregnancy/new baby book. Not for a second suggesting that books can teach you everything but I have been reading 'What to expect when you're expecting' and just starting dioping into 'What to expect.baby's 1st Year' and there is lots of seemingly realistic info about birth, breast/bottle feeding, nappies etc etc. I have some experience of babies but not my own and it has answered a lot of my questions...

J x


----------



## 2ndtimeAbz

I don't know who used the phrase 'hit by a bus' but that pretty much describes how I felt last time. I'm hoping learning from experience and a better birthing position i.e. not on my back will help that this time!
Oh, a quick tip for anyone going into hospital - take food! I did get a sandwich after I gave birth but it didn't do much in terms of nourishment, that was at 9.30pm and I was starving by the time breakfast came round! :(
I would reccomend some cereal bars at least and a bottle of lucozade, I was still hankering after banana milkshake so got my OH to bring some in for me at visiting!


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## PeanutBean

I agree with the take food advice if you're going to hospital. I went in at 7pm and got some toast as I'd not eaten since breakfast. I gave birth at half 11 the next morning and got a smackeral of mash as the lunch trolley happened to come past right after. I was then in til nearly lunchtime the following day and had nothing else. There was no tea for me even though I'd been there for hours and hours and hours and hours.


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## 2ndtimeAbz

Can't wait pre and post labour to be pottering round the kitchen eating lots of toast and cake mmm, sadly that was a factor in deciding to try 4 a homebirth! I'm pre-making lots of meals for the freezer for the first week after birth also - curries, stews and cottage pies, then I can have something yummy for tea even when me and DH too knackered to cook!


----------



## spring_baby

this is my fourth time and I am taking fresh fruit cereal bars drinks in cartons frozen in the freezer to keep everything else chilled and chocolate in with me.
I have a gluten intolerance so no tea and toast for me and not a lot of edible things on the breakfast of luch/dinner menu after bubs arrives, especially as I have big babies and if u have babies over 9lbs now a days they keep u in hospital for a few extra days to check for diabetes etc, so think I will be in a few days :( x


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## evewidow

spring_baby said:


> this is my fourth time and I am taking fresh fruit cereal bars drinks in cartons frozen in the freezer to keep everything else chilled and chocolate in with me.
> I have a gluten intolerance so no tea and toast for me and not a lot of edible things on the breakfast of luch/dinner menu after bubs arrives, especially as I have big babies and if u have babies over 9lbs now a days they keep u in hospital for a few extra days to check for diabetes etc, so think I will be in a few days :( x

really ..they have never kept me in and both mine been over 9lb.


----------



## Tadan

jenfen said:


> Tadan said:
> 
> 
> Lol I know! How annoying! Thing is, for people like me who are uneducated in this area, we could assume that this is how it is, and what an awful shock to have :lol:
> Luckily a few girls I know have just given birth so I've picked up a few things from asking them but I'm too scared to read the birth stories on here..I'd rather go through it myself without worrying about little things or thinking it'll be easy when i'm still there 48hours later.. I can't even find anything in my pregnancy book off the MW that states anything about the placenta, etc. Everything is so focused on the baby being delivered, but what happens after that? It's not all yay lets get dressed and go home!
> 
> It might be worth getting a good pregnancy/new baby book. Not for a second suggesting that books can teach you everything but I have been reading 'What to expect when you're expecting' and just starting dioping into 'What to expect.baby's 1st Year' and there is lots of seemingly realistic info about birth, breast/bottle feeding, nappies etc etc. I have some experience of babies but not my own and it has answered a lot of my questions...
> 
> J xClick to expand...

Ooh good idea, that'll keep me occupied while waiting to reach due date too! :D Thanks


----------



## victoriajane

So, following on from everything everyone has said about bleeding after giving birth, does anyone have any recommendations/definite no-no's for maternity pads?


----------



## 2ndtimeAbz

I would definately stay away from the paper pants!!! Its easier to buy a pack of big cotton knickers from asda or primark that you can bin afterwards. In terms of maternity pads it depends alot on how heavy you bleed afterward I guess. I used the always night-time pads and they served me well last time.


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## MissFox

I'm hoping my stash of nighttime pads will be enough since I really can't imagine bleeding much more than what a normal period is like for me. (The word waterfall comes to mind)


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## PeanutBean

I found maternity pads weren't great but purple always were fine.


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## evewidow

i prefer the proper maternity thick style pads the 1st few days before moving onto night time always etc . if you have stitches the normal pads can be a bit scratchy.

agree with the person that said dont bother with paper pants too . 

get to asda or matalan buy 5 pairs of granny pants in a big size for £2.50 more comfy and just bin em after if you want.


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## lisaf

I think someone earlier had a comment about staying away from the 'dry weave' topped pads since something about them is irritating or causes issues?


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## lisaf

Just read this article on top 10+ things no one tells you about c-sections... thought I'd share here!


> 1. There will still be hands on your coochie
> 
> Surprised? Bump Lori (our creative director!) gave it to us straight: "After C-section #2, a nurse came into my room in the middle of the night and gave me what I now refer to as a vaginal car wash. I was NOT expecting that! It's true: even though it isn't baby's exit route, your vagina will still be involved in your C-section and recovery. Basically, the vaginal car wash will come sometime after delivery (and more than once, if needed), and just involves a little rinse-down with a peri bottle and a pat down with a dry cloth -- the point is to clean up any blood that will be leaking out after the surgery. (More on that later.) Also, be prepared for a nurse to insert a catheter before surgery (but usually after you've received anesthesia, so you wont feel a thing).
> 
> 2. Youll probably get the shakes
> 
> If you have a spinal, you'll probably spend some time involuntarily vibrating all over (though some find its just their legs that spasm). "It's a strange sensation for some patients as it is involuntary shaking, but it's nothing excessive -- just a light shiver -- and perfectly normal!" says Dr. Carolyn Eskridge, an OB with Eastover Ob/Gyn in Charlotte, NC. But don't worry: "It subsides quickly, as the spinal usually wears off after a few hours," assures Dr. Eskridge.
> 
> 3. You might feel a little tugging
> 
> The good news is youll be totally numbed from your belly down during surgery (and for a couple of hours afterward), so your cesarean won't hurt a bit. But some moms do claim to feel a little pushing and tugging sensation as baby is eased out of their abdomen (especially if the wee one is crammed up near their rib cage).
> 
> 4. You will probably be freezing during delivery
> 
> Weve heard from tons of mamas who complain about being ice cold during their C-sections -- and many tend to blame it on the cool temps in the OR. But while ORs are definitely kept cooler for other surgeries (to maintain sterility, prevent humidity formation and combat bacterial colonization), Dr. Eskridge says docs actually raise the temperature in the room for C-sections in order to accommodate the new arrival. Still, between being numbed from the waist down and lying still for 30 minutes half-naked, its no wonder moms tend to catch a chill. But at least theres some good news: you can often request warm blankets to be placed on you to combat some of the chilliness.
> 
> 5. Youll get a bonus "leg massage"
> 
> After surgery your docs will bring in contraptions called sequential compression devices (SCDs), which work to improve your circulation and prevent blood clots. They may even slip them on when youre asleep and numb after surgery -- so if you wake up to find them on you, dont be alarmed. They kind of look like space boots and they may seem a little weird at first (since they inflate and deflate repeatedly), but the sooner your blood gets pumping all around, the sooner your docs will take them away.
> 
> 6. Stool softeners = your new best friend
> Pooping can be a major problem post C-section, since it's tough to push when your abdomen is tender and sore. Taking stool softeners after delivery will ease you back into pooping again -- and make you a pretty happy camper in the process. Just remember to drink lots of water, and walk around as soon as you can, to keep your bowels awake. And to ease your mind: No, you wont bust your stitches pooping -- it just doesn't happen.
> 
> 
> 7. Coughing and sneezing will hurt
> 
> I came home and had a coughing fit one afternoon, and OMG it hurt like the dickens! says BOGOhokie06. Dr. Eskridge, who had two C-sections of her own, had the same experience and has some advice: Splinting (holding a pillow against the abdomen over the incision) is very helpful in preventing pain with cough/sneeze/laughing. Keep a pillow handy in all rooms of the house, and when youre riding in a car. Belly bands or other compression garments can also help support your abs, since applying pressure to your muscles after theyve been cut will help combat the pain that comes from muscle contractions. How long can you expect this to last? Dr. Eskridge says most mamas find the pain will be the worst the week after delivery but will gradually get better over the course of a few weeks after that.
> 
> 8. Exercise is everything
> 
> Were not suggesting you get up and do a round of jumping jacks, but just getting up and hobbling around as soon as humanly possible is a good idea. (Well, after your doc says its okay.) Once the spinal wears off and movement is back in the lower extremities, then it is safe to walk around, says Dr. Eskridge. Plus, it gets the bowels working again and can prevent a lot of gas pain! It also helps prevent blood clots. So get off your butt.
> 
> 9. There will be blood
> 
> "I was surprised about the postpartum bleeding," says bchenier, another mom on TheBump.com. "I guess I figured since the baby didn't come out from there, I wouldn't bleed (boy, was I wrong)." You wont have as much postpartum bleeding as with a vaginal delivery (since the vaginal cavity is wiped clean at the time of your surgery), but bleeding will still happen. After all, your uterine wall has to heal itself after the placenta has been detached, and your blood vessels are responding to the dip in hormone levels. Plus, that thick lining that grew to support your baby throughout your pregnancy will need to shed itself in the weeks after your delivery. Dont worry though -- any bleeding should be light and only last about six weeks, max.
> 
> 10. That scar might freak you out (for a little while, anyway)
> 
> Some moms admit they didnt realize just how prominent their scar would be at first. I felt totally disfigured, says Bump Lori of her C-section scar. But over time, it faded and flattened a lot, and now I actually love it. It's my mommy battle scar! Dont fret over it too much -- just expect that while you may be weirded out at the beginning, the newness of it will fade in time. Want to help it fade faster? Dr. Eskridge suggests trying scar-fading ointments like Mederma -- but only after youve let it heal for six weeks (applying anything sooner may cause an infection).
> 
> 11. You may have gas pains -- in your shoulders
> 
> Yep, you read that right. You may get some wicked gas pain in your shoulders after delivery. When your bowels become sluggish after surgery, the resulting gas pain can press on the diaphragm, and that pain can extend to the shoulders. To combat this, your nurse will offer you anti-gas meds and encourage you to walk around as soon as possible. But thats not the only cause of postsurgical shoulder pain. Dr. Eskridge says that sometimes mamas feel this way as a result of "referred pain" -- pain thats actually being caused in another part of the body (in this case, your uterus), but felt somewhere else, because of the way your nerves react. Yes, it can be rough, but the pain should subside in a day or so.

original article can be found here: https://pregnant.thebump.com/pregna...Pregnancy&cm_ite=February 01, 2011&MsdVisit=1


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## aliss

Another thing is to try try try not to get all upset about your body and go on a crazy diet/exercise routine. Yes, you will be bloated and no, you aren't going to look back to what you were instantly - but your body needs rest and your uterus takes several weeks/months to shrink down. I really struggled with this in the beginning and vow next time to ignore my figure for the first 3 months, save myself some heartache at trying to achieve the unachievable (as my uterus was still shrinking!!!).


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## Mya209

aliss said:


> Another thing is to try try try not to get all upset about your body and go on a crazy diet/exercise routine. Yes, you will be bloated and no, you aren't going to look back to what you were instantly - but your body needs rest and your uterus takes several weeks/months to shrink down. I really struggled with this in the beginning and vow next time to ignore my figure for the first 3 months, save myself some heartache at trying to achieve the unachievable (as my uterus was still shrinking!!!).

Yeah, plus if you're breast feeding you need to eat eat eat to keep your supply up. A work colleage ate a new York cheese cake every day whilst feeding and her supply was great. Friends of hers that dieted had problems with their supply. She wouldn't let anyone visit without a cheesecake in hand! This is not the time to worry about your figure!


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## LastOneDefo

I found Kotex Night time pads ( Black & Red pack appx 99p for 10) are better and more comfy than maternity pads. It does state on back of pack they are suitable for after childbirth. Really thick and comfy for them first few days when you need that extra cushioning :)


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## helen581

I'm going to be a first timer but this will be my hubbies second. The one thing he did say was don't be alarmed about the smell whilst in labour. His ex had to have a section and he said that the smell was horrific!! In his words "the worst thing he has ever smelt" lol so maybe that's one thing to leg the oh's know just incase they wonder what it is lol. Xx


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## helen581

Ps sorry about the typos, stupid iPhone and my fat fingers don't mix!! Haha


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## Zedfaca

My pads advice! 

Get the maternity sheets for your bed and at least five packs of maternity pads. They're about a pound each. Once the bleeding calms down to being a normal period type (for me this took about 3 days), you can use any cheap sanitary towel. The cheaper the better! The economy ones don't have anything on the top to lock in moisture and keep you dry, which is a good thing because they will be really nice and soft like cotton wool on your sore lady bits. They do some in Boots in a purple packet (50p for 14 I think) and they're perfect. You'll also need a bunch of cheap knickers to wear for a few weeks to stop you ruining your own. I got a pack of five (In black! Don't get white!) and they have seen me right as I put on a wash every few days. Oh and make sure they're a size bigger than you are to fit in all your pads. You might want to wear two pads as well, I used night time pads with wings as the bottom layer and then the cheap comfy maternity pads as the top layer. It just makes you feel more secure. Oh and another thing- toilet paper. You will want The Softest Toilet Paper Ever. Most toilet paper says it's soft on the front, but they actually feel like sand paper when you've got stitches! I eventually got fed up of trial and error and went to Sainsburys to the massive loo roll aisle and went up and down jabbing my finger in likely packets to find the softest one! (Sorry if you bought my rejected packet!) The best one I found is Quilted Velvet with the baby in the suit on the front. Double Velvet was terrible! Now no one else is allowed to use my special toilet paper! They have to use one of the rolls in the cupboard that didn't make the grade!


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## Danii

<3 This Thread!


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## helen581

This thread is brilliant!!!! I have learnt so much stuff that I wouldn't have expected after I give birth!! Thank you soooooooo much to all the ladies that have posted. This should def be a sticky thread!! Now I won't panic so much when/if some of these things happen to me! Xxxx thanks again xxx


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## evewidow

the toilet paper thing is good advice actually , i couldnt help but laugh though at the thought of the rest of the house not being able to use your loo roll. the asda shades is nice and soft too btw.


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## victoriajane

Zedfaca, that's fab, thank you! I love this place, so helpful. :)


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## Zedfaca

Well we don't want all the pregnant woman in the country poking holes in all the packs in the toilet paper aisle do we? I've taken a bullet for the team! Imagine if the security guard had come over and asked me what I was doing!!


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## Tadan

Zedfaca said:


> Well we don't want all the pregnant woman in the country poking holes in all the packs in the toilet paper aisle do we? I've taken a bullet for the team! Imagine if the security guard had come over and asked me what I was doing!!

:rofl:


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## aliss

My #1 advice that really helped me... tell people they need to exchange labour in order to see/hold/cuddle baby. If you tell someone "sure, come over but do my laundry" or "do my dishes" ~ they actually will. SO DO IT!!! Please don't be shy!


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## MissFox

Aliss- I have been thinking that!!! 
You can come over if you do....." or "you can come over if you bring a casserole" or something like that!


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## chuck

The best advice I can give is a quote I remember form a blog..

'Remember Doctors are not your knights in shining armour ready to take the pain away and make it all better....'

After what the Dr's/OB's did to me last time I dont think they've even heard of teh NICE guidelines for intrapartum care and know anything much about childbirth anymore.

It's as if they dont know that a womans body is meant to give birth and can do it without internals, drips, pessaries, slicing and dicing body parts, intervening and pulling on things.

Leave the damn process alone!


...oh AND NEVER EVER LIE ON YOUR DAMNED BACK FOR LONG IT THE WORST WAY TO LABOUR AND GIVE BIRTH!!!!!


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## aliss

MissFox said:


> Aliss- I have been thinking that!!!
> You can come over if you do....." or "you can come over if you bring a casserole" or something like that!

Absolutely! Why should you do the cooking and cleaning while they get the cuddles? There's an admission fee :thumbup: But in all seriousness a lot of us getting too much pride and want to do everything for everyone (the typical mom syndrome) but there's no need. People are more than happy to help if you ask. Some people want to, but they don't want to impose, so they wait for you to ask.


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## PeanutBean

We had no-one helping us but managed. I sadly spent the night in hospital. DH came back and did a huge online shop which kept us going for days before even needing any fresh stuff.


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## Sophist

It really depends on your friends and family whether asking for labor in exchange for a visit will get you anywhere. That was our plan when I had DD and people were offended that I would ask them to run a load of laundry or the vacuum, they intended to hold the baby to free me up to do my chores.. So this time they just aren't invited until I'm good & ready to have visitors.


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## lisaf

Wow... who wouldn't do a load of laundry in exchange for some cuddles!!
If they want to cuddle the baby so you can shower or nap, fine... but don't take my baby and have me go scrub the kitchen floor etc!

My friend's dad came by her house every day and took laundry off to his place, did it and dropped it back off.. now that is the kind of visitor any new mom would welcome!!


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## Sophist

lisaf said:


> Wow... who wouldn't do a load of laundry in exchange for some cuddles!!
> If they want to cuddle the baby so you can shower or nap, fine... but don't take my baby and have me go scrub the kitchen floor etc!
> 
> My friend's dad came by her house every day and took laundry off to his place, did it and dropped it back off.. now that is the kind of visitor any new mom would welcome!!

Oh don't get my started!! My family is on my last nerve at the moment, and remembering how they acted when DD was born doesn't help. I asked MIL to help with laundry and she just piled it up all over the floor randomly, put in 1/2 a loads worth of clothes and then said, "is that good enough, can I hold the baby now?" And she got offended when I asked for the baby back so I could BF her!! 

My mom is almost as bad--her idea of helping is either holding the baby or sitting and sewing on a quilt, while asking what time I will have dinner ready.

And none of them thinks I'm serious when I say no one is visiting this LO right away!

KandyKinz posted awhile back a "letter from the midwives" to post on the door. I'm totally going to do something along those lines, like unless you have a meal in hand, don't bother!


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## kiraelliott

My MIL announced last night that I have to tell her when i'm in labour as she has to ring up grandparents and give them the green light to book the boat to come over! 

Why is it family never take into consideration that for the first two weeks I might feel like i've been hit by a bus? What if I don't want any visitors right away?!

My mum's always offering to do housework for me - all the way through my pregnancy she's offered, she's such a genuine person she'd never take the piss like DH's family seemingly would. MIL also said the other day she could come over and hold the baby if I ever need to go for a bath or something - which all sounds very nice but no thanks, my DH will be home as we share bath water (saves money). I dunno, bloody families, who'd have 'em! lol (I just realised this is a really unhelpful post, sorry!)


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## lisaf

Sophist said:


> lisaf said:
> 
> 
> Wow... who wouldn't do a load of laundry in exchange for some cuddles!!
> If they want to cuddle the baby so you can shower or nap, fine... but don't take my baby and have me go scrub the kitchen floor etc!
> 
> My friend's dad came by her house every day and took laundry off to his place, did it and dropped it back off.. now that is the kind of visitor any new mom would welcome!!
> 
> Oh don't get my started!! My family is on my last nerve at the moment, and remembering how they acted when DD was born doesn't help. I asked MIL to help with laundry and she just piled it up all over the floor randomly, put in 1/2 a loads worth of clothes and then said, "is that good enough, can I hold the baby now?" And she got offended when I asked for the baby back so I could BF her!!
> 
> My mom is almost as bad--her idea of helping is either holding the baby or sitting and sewing on a quilt, while asking what time I will have dinner ready.
> 
> And none of them thinks I'm serious when I say no one is visiting this LO right away!
> 
> KandyKinz posted awhile back a "letter from the midwives" to post on the door. I'm totally going to do something along those lines, like unless you have a meal in hand, don't bother!Click to expand...

Oh crap, I just realized my MIL and SIL are going to be major baby hogs! My MIL will be watching our child full-time when I go back to work but she would be thrilled if I went back a week after giving birth... I fully expect her to want to hold the baby constantly! I won't even get started on my SIL :(


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## Mya209

lisaf said:


> Sophist said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lisaf said:
> 
> 
> Wow... who wouldn't do a load of laundry in exchange for some cuddles!!
> If they want to cuddle the baby so you can shower or nap, fine... but don't take my baby and have me go scrub the kitchen floor etc!
> 
> My friend's dad came by her house every day and took laundry off to his place, did it and dropped it back off.. now that is the kind of visitor any new mom would welcome!!
> 
> Oh don't get my started!! My family is on my last nerve at the moment, and remembering how they acted when DD was born doesn't help. I asked MIL to help with laundry and she just piled it up all over the floor randomly, put in 1/2 a loads worth of clothes and then said, "is that good enough, can I hold the baby now?" And she got offended when I asked for the baby back so I could BF her!!
> 
> My mom is almost as bad--her idea of helping is either holding the baby or sitting and sewing on a quilt, while asking what time I will have dinner ready.
> 
> And none of them thinks I'm serious when I say no one is visiting this LO right away!
> 
> KandyKinz posted awhile back a "letter from the midwives" to post on the door. I'm totally going to do something along those lines, like unless you have a meal in hand, don't bother!Click to expand...
> 
> Oh crap, I just realized my MIL and SIL are going to be major baby hogs! My MIL will be watching our child full-time when I go back to work but she would be thrilled if I went back a week after giving birth... I fully expect her to want to hold the baby constantly! I won't even get started on my SIL :(Click to expand...

Baby hogging in the early days is something that really really worries me already! I know how exciting new babies are and I've probably been guilty of it with my niece and nephew. Personally I wouldnt feel comfortable asking people to do housework, but i wouldn't tidy up for people coming round, they'd take me as they found me or OH would tidy up! But I really don't want people coming over whenever they want and taking my baby off me!! I'll be BF and getting used to it all for the first time, probably bleeding, wanting to bond with my first child, quietly and calmly, and the thought of people taking my baby all the time really freaks me out! My inlaws live really close and would turn up unannounced, (once, before baby obviously, I came out of my bedroom and found my SIL and her kids in my hall having let themselves in without even knocking - their excuse was that OH's car wasn't outside so they presumed we weren't home and wanted to come see my kitten - grr!). Also I have a vision in my head of MIL bouncing my nephew on her arm when he was about 6 months old and making some disgusting joke about him enjoying having her hand between his legs! I was completely shocked but their family make jokes like that all the time but if that was my child I would be mortified and wouldn't really know how to say anything as they all think it's normal. I don't think OH really takes me seriously when i tell him it's his job to make sure people don't visit without permission. My mum is even saying they'd drive straight down after the birth to help out, I told her we'd visit her instead when we were ready and she just didn't understand, she was really insistent and quite put out! My mum and I really really don't get on very well either! I think other family should ring ahead, hopefully!


----------



## 2ndtimeAbz

This is where I luck out, we live at least three hours from all our family so no-one turns up unannounced! although my MIL is coming down and stayingfor a few days after number2 is born. Not that I mind, as she is fab and will enjoy keeping my DD entertained whilst I settle in with baby. My in-laws know I'm quite private and they really respect that :) I think she was a bit surprised when I invited her down! I havent spoken to my mum for 3 years, the only person on my side of the family who will see the baby is my Dad who also lives 3 hours away.
We lived in chaos for the first few months last time and I'm fully prepared for it again ;)


----------



## PeanutBean

Well this will be the 13th grandchild on this side so apart from my mum coming to look after Byron while I birth I don't expect anyone on my side will care so much. They're not pushy anyway. DH's family are 150 miles away and given it took them one and three months to come visit Byron I don't expect we'll be seeing them! I ahve no qualms about telling people not to come or to leave or anything else really. I also don't pass my baby round. They can wait til she is older.


----------



## Mya209

PeanutBean said:


> Well this will be the 13th grandchild on this side so apart from my mum coming to look after Byron while I birth I don't expect anyone on my side will care so much. They're not pushy anyway. DH's family are 150 miles away and given it took them one and three months to come visit Byron I don't expect we'll be seeing them! I ahve no qualms about telling people not to come or to leave or anything else really. I also don't pass my baby round. They can wait til she is older.

How do you avoid passing baby round? This is my first, I don't want to be rude or appear the clingy parent. My SIL gave both her babies straight to me the day they were born so I know there will be pressure on me. We are very different people, but get on very well. I really don't want to upset people but would rather wait a few weeks at least, I need to do this my way but don't want to make it seem like a big deal! Any advice welcome!


----------



## PeanutBean

I guess I don't care about offending people! Byron I kept hold of a lot, I don't recall ever feeling I'd had to give him away. I might allow a cuddle if I wanted to go for a pee but otherwise no chance! I also didn't most of my family for a few days. Maybe talk aout the risk of infection and just be honest that you don't want LO exposed to loads of people when so tiny. I think it depends on your family dynamics but it's good to start as you mean to go on!


----------



## Mya209

PeanutBean said:


> I guess I don't care about offending people! Byron I kept hold of a lot, I don't recall ever feeling I'd had to give him away. I might allow a cuddle if I wanted to go for a pee but otherwise no chance! I also didn't most of my family for a few days. Maybe talk aout the risk of infection and just be honest that you don't want LO exposed to loads of people when so tiny. I think it depends on your family dynamics but it's good to start as you mean to go on!

Thanks, personally I'd never ask to hold a tiny baby (or any baby) unless it was offered by the mum. I know some people that insist on holding or feeding the baby. Luckily I'll be BF so that's a good excuse.


----------



## kiraelliott

PeanutBean said:


> I guess I don't care about offending people! Byron I kept hold of a lot, I don't recall ever feeling I'd had to give him away. I might allow a cuddle if I wanted to go for a pee but otherwise no chance! I also didn't most of my family for a few days. *Maybe talk aout the risk of infection* and just be honest that you don't want LO exposed to loads of people when so tiny. I think it depends on your family dynamics but it's good to start as you mean to go on!

lol I wish I could get away with saying that to my MIL, she's a staff nurse and brings home every illness going :/


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## Tadan

I didnt even think about this! I am currently staying at home and i'm one of 5 children (being the oldest) so i'm not gonna be able to stop them and their girlfriends coming over, nor can i stop my mum and her OH... then theres the MIL who lives up the road that wants to be at the hospital.. I need to talk to everyone and tell them maybe to pass on a message that we dont want any visitors for a while after, its gonna be mad enough bringing her home to all these people!


----------



## helen581

Im am so glad you ladies have posted this! over the last few days ive got really hormonal and have convinced myself that people are going to come and visit and say something along the lines of "Give me a cuddle of baby then" and im way too nice to say no! I have visions of me spending hours getting her to sleep only for someone to come in the house and pick her up and wake her! ggggrrrr.

It is the worst feeling in the world, convincing yourself that people are going to try to take over when you are trying to bond and generally feel like crap. I feel like screaming, "shes MY baby so dont anyone dare come in and even think about asking to hold her, never mind feed her or take her out to "give me some rest"!!!!" 

aaahh feel better now after getting that off my chest. Im sure i feel like this because she is going to be my first and im just getting myself into a tizz. My hubby doesnt seem to understand when i tried to tell him how i feel. Think he thinks im being selfish or something. Maybe its different for a man who doesnt have the hormones???


----------



## Sophist

Mya209 said:


> Also I have a vision in my head of MIL bouncing my nephew on her arm when he was about 6 months old and making some disgusting joke about him enjoying having her hand between his legs! I was completely shocked but their family make jokes like that all the time but if that was my child I would be mortified and wouldn't really know how to say anything as they all think it's normal. I don't think OH really takes me seriously when i tell him it's his job to make sure people don't visit without permission.

WHAT? That's disgusting! I'd be horrified and upset if anyone said that about my baby. 

My DH didn't take me seriously when we had our first but now he's great at standing up for my wishes. He jokes that he's going to post a couple of his friends at the front door as bouncers. "If you aren't on the list...."


----------



## helen581

Oh and i have the weird panicy urge to (once ive had her) to run away and lock myself in somewhere, just me and her just so nobody will be able to touch her!!!! 

How stupid is that! I know im being totally unreasonable! haha


----------



## KandyKinz

Some of the midwifery practices around here give this letter ( https://familymidwiferycare.ca/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/A-note-to-postpartum-visitors.pdf ) to their clients to post on their door or email out to their friends and family.


----------



## Mya209

Sophist said:


> Mya209 said:
> 
> 
> Also I have a vision in my head of MIL bouncing my nephew on her arm when he was about 6 months old and making some disgusting joke about him enjoying having her hand between his legs! I was completely shocked but their family make jokes like that all the time but if that was my child I would be mortified and wouldn't really know how to say anything as they all think it's normal. I don't think OH really takes me seriously when i tell him it's his job to make sure people don't visit without permission.
> 
> WHAT? That's disgusting! I'd be horrified and upset if anyone said that about my baby.
> 
> My DH didn't take me seriously when we had our first but now he's great at standing up for my wishes. He jokes that he's going to post a couple of his friends at the front door as bouncers. "If you aren't on the list...."Click to expand...

Yup! She's always saying things like that, very different to my upbringing. I'm now used to the farting jokes, the sexual stuff etc around their family but I'm much more traditional with my ideas about bringing up children. I've accepted that they're different to me and think they are a great family, I hope they can accept that I want to do it differently.


----------



## Sophist

KandyKinz said:


> Some of the midwifery practices around here give this letter ( https://familymidwiferycare.ca/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/A-note-to-postpartum-visitors.pdf ) to their clients to post on their door or email out to their friends and family.

Thanks!! I printed this out before, and misplaced it.

Nice to see you--where have you been? Everything ok?


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## KandyKinz

I've been fine.... Just been spending alot of time out and about and prepping for the new arrival. Time is going WAY too fast!!!!!!!!


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## lisaf

One complaint my friend had was the opposite of having guests wake the baby.
What happened to her was that her baby slept for hours when people were visiting, then screamed when they were gone. She didn't feel right going to nap while they had guests, so this deprived her of even more sleep.

Just a heads up on that one!


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## Zedfaca

lisaf said:


> One complaint my friend had was the opposite of having guests wake the baby.
> What happened to her was that her baby slept for hours when people were visiting, then screamed when they were gone. She didn't feel right going to nap while they had guests, so this deprived her of even more sleep.
> 
> Just a heads up on that one!

This is exactly what happened to me. Then they ask how you are and you say, 'tired' and they say, 'ooh make sure you sleep when the baby sleeps!' Well it's sleeping now!!! It's not just visitors either. It's the health visitor and the midwives. They say they're coming 'Tuesday'. Not a time. Just 'Tuesday'. So then you're awake all day waiting for them to show up. Seriously, refuse all visitors for at least the first week. Except the medical ones obviously. There's no point. The baby will be too tiny and either overwhelmed and crying or fast asleep and you'll be so tired you won't be able to make conversation with anyone. I nearly fell asleep on my grandmother when she came to visit. Tell them if they want a worthwhile visit to come later!


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## elephant29

Havent read all the replies, so sorry if this has been said already.

I had a section but i'm sure some people will so maybe my answers can help a little :thumbup:

* The blood! No one warns you about this! Even with a section you bleed for weeks afterwards. It was honestly about 4/5 weeks before I could stop wearing pads. The smell is horrific as well, not like normal period at all!

* Changing nappies is always the one people worry about..dont! It's easy after the first couple and soon that's the easiet part of looking after the baby!

* Be prepared to become a childrens entertainer! They dont stay small and sleepy for long and soon your desperately trying to think up new things to do with them to make them laugh!

* BF is hard!! I'm still going but the first few weeks nearly drove me insane!!

* Dont listen to all the guidlelines as gospel! Learn how to look after your baby your way.

xxx


----------



## elephant29

Mya209 said:


> PeanutBean said:
> 
> 
> Well this will be the 13th grandchild on this side so apart from my mum coming to look after Byron while I birth I don't expect anyone on my side will care so much. They're not pushy anyway. DH's family are 150 miles away and given it took them one and three months to come visit Byron I don't expect we'll be seeing them! I ahve no qualms about telling people not to come or to leave or anything else really. I also don't pass my baby round. They can wait til she is older.
> 
> How do you avoid passing baby round? This is my first, I don't want to be rude or appear the clingy parent. My SIL gave both her babies straight to me the day they were born so I know there will be pressure on me. We are very different people, but get on very well. I really don't want to upset people but would rather wait a few weeks at least, I need to do this my way but don't want to make it seem like a big deal! Any advice welcome!Click to expand...

With difficulty!

I'd just had my LO (she's my first) and we were still in hospital. Everyone decended on us, it was really hard! At one point I had me, Oh, mum, MIL, my aunt, 2 cousins, cousins daughter, my nana and FIL all visiting at the same time!! The MW let them and didnt even say about 2 at a time so I felt I couldnt say anything either. My LO was asleep but everyone was saying 'Oh can we just wake her for a wee hold'. Luckily I did stand my ground and said no. I put it that I was a new mum, scared and when they all left it was only me left to deal with the baby if she was tired. My aunt and cousin were really funny with me for a while after it but they soon came round. My other cousin had a baby a year ago and I always remember her looking at me with sympathy and saying she knew what it felt like so at least she wasnt making grabbing moves at my new baby!

xxx


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## PeanutBean

^ that's surprising, our hospital doesn't really allow more than two visitors at a time (excluding oh).


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## scottishvixen

I've popped over from second trimester, though will be joining you ladies soon. I was another one who hadn't given much thought to what happens immediately after birth and this has really opened my eyes. Thank you all for the information and it certainly has left me with no uncertainty about may happen and definitely feel more prepared. :thumbup:


----------



## spring_baby

helen581 said:


> Im am so glad you ladies have posted this! over the last few days ive got really hormonal and have convinced myself that people are going to come and visit and say something along the lines of "Give me a cuddle of baby then" and im way too nice to say no! I have visions of me spending hours getting her to sleep only for someone to come in the house and pick her up and wake her! ggggrrrr.
> 
> It is the worst feeling in the world, convincing yourself that people are going to try to take over when you are trying to bond and generally feel like crap. I feel like screaming, "shes MY baby so dont anyone dare come in and even think about asking to hold her, never mind feed her or take her out to "give me some rest"!!!!"
> 
> aaahh feel better now after getting that off my chest. Im sure i feel like this because she is going to be my first and im just getting myself into a tizz. My hubby doesnt seem to understand when i tried to tell him how i feel. Think he thinks im being selfish or something. Maybe its different for a man who doesnt have the hormones???

This is my 4th and I have learnt a lot from letting people get away with murder regards handling my babies and then leaving me with an irritable unhappy baby, the number one two and three rules for me are if my baby is sleeping no one picks hims up! if i dont know you then you dont get to hold my baby and when baby needs to be fed and i am bfeeding then I dont want an audience.
I have made a point this time of saying this to my family and friends so everyone knows how I feel before baby comes, even with my ohs mum the other day, and his step dad thought he was funny he kept rubbung my tunny yuk why do people do that and saying hope the 3 of you are feeling ok me and 1 baby so not funny..


----------



## helen581

spring_baby said:


> helen581 said:
> 
> 
> Im am so glad you ladies have posted this! over the last few days ive got really hormonal and have convinced myself that people are going to come and visit and say something along the lines of "Give me a cuddle of baby then" and im way too nice to say no! I have visions of me spending hours getting her to sleep only for someone to come in the house and pick her up and wake her! ggggrrrr.
> 
> It is the worst feeling in the world, convincing yourself that people are going to try to take over when you are trying to bond and generally feel like crap. I feel like screaming, "shes MY baby so dont anyone dare come in and even think about asking to hold her, never mind feed her or take her out to "give me some rest"!!!!"
> 
> aaahh feel better now after getting that off my chest. Im sure i feel like this because she is going to be my first and im just getting myself into a tizz. My hubby doesnt seem to understand when i tried to tell him how i feel. Think he thinks im being selfish or something. Maybe its different for a man who doesnt have the hormones???
> 
> This is my 4th and I have learnt a lot from letting people get away with murder regards handling my babies and then leaving me with an irritable unhappy baby, the number one two and three rules for me are if my baby is sleeping no one picks hims up! if i dont know you then you dont get to hold my baby and when baby needs to be fed and i am bfeeding then I dont want an audience.
> I have made a point this time of saying this to my family and friends so everyone knows how I feel before baby comes, even with my ohs mum the other day, and his step dad thought he was funny he kept rubbung my tunny yuk why do people do that and saying hope the 3 of you are feeling ok me and 1 baby so not funny..Click to expand...

Think im going to have to be very hard faced and just tell people how it is going to be. Set the ground rules before people start to intrude on me and baby time. The most important thing is my baby and i dont want anyone interupting my "routine" X


----------



## clarsair

That 3-4 days after giving birth your feet, ankles and legs will swell up like balloons as your milk comes in. I phoned the labour ward thinking I had some life-threatening post-operative complication!


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## Zedfaca

Oh yes and your boobs will be bigger than you can even imagine. Have a think how big you think they will be... No, they'll be bigger than that! Much bigger! I'd recommend taking a photo so you'll always know what you'd look like with Pamela Andersons Baywatch boobs. They'll also be hot, painful and lumpy (only time in your life you don't need to worry about a lump) and you will need a good supportive bra 24/7. I even wore a bikini top in the shower. Don't panic though- they'll soften up and stop hurting within a few days and that's whether you breast feed or not.


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## MissFox

Thanks Zedfaca! Good to know!!!


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## kiraelliott

Zedfaca said:


> Oh yes and your boobs will be bigger than you can even imagine. Have a think how big you think they will be... No, they'll be bigger than that! Much bigger! I'd recommend taking a photo so you'll always know what you'd look like with Pamela Andersons Baywatch boobs. They'll also be hot, painful and lumpy (only time in your life you don't need to worry about a lump) and you will need a good supportive bra 24/7. I even wore a bikini top in the shower. Don't panic though- they'll soften up and stop hurting within a few days and that's whether you breast feed or not.

Yeah I had heard this - my MIL was trying to get me to buy nursing bras at my biggest but if they go down slightly then surely she'd be wrong... which is why I ignored her fact #10864328474 lol


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## Zedfaca

It's not really worth getting a maternity bra to fit for the few days that they're MASSIVE. Just something to keep them in is the main thing because they're so heavy and it hurts to not have them held by something. Any cheap non-underwired bra in a big size will do, you just might have to pull the shoulder strap down to feed. The mega boobs don't happen for a few days so you should be out of hospital by then anyway.


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## PeanutBean

I wore (and sleep in through pregnancy) supportive nursing vests. Much more comfy in those early days.

Another thing, bf makes you sweat like a horse! All that extra fluid starts to come off and the early days you'll be dying of thirst each feed so keep a glass of water close by.


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## Zedfaca

I got terrible sweaty boobs. They got up to a G cup and I had to keep a bra on all the time so they weren't getting any air. I wound up getting an itchy rash. The midwife told me to put camomile lotion on it. I tried it but it wasn't helping so I covered them in talcum powder. Bingo, the rash went. Ha that's my sweaty tits tip!


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## elephant29

PeanutBean said:


> ^ that's surprising, our hospital doesn't really allow more than two visitors at a time (excluding oh).

Yep I know and I expected them to say something but they let them all stay!

At one point (cant remember who) someone was holding a mobile phone over the cot taking pics. A midwife came in and made a comment about being careful they didnt drop it and gave me a look of sympathy but still let them stay!

The policy is 2 (exc OH) at a time in this hosital as well. After this visit I was so overwhelmed I was in tears and a MW had to sit and console me. I think touch of baby blues (which is another thing no one warns you about. They appear on about day 3 and make you think you've gone crazy!) I was crying for about 2 weeks. I knew I wasnt depressed but the slightest wee thing had me in hysterics! My poor OH thought I was going mental!

Also forgot; night sweats!! They are horrid and last about 2 weeks. I would wake up drenched (lovely image I know, haha) and I have looonnnggg hair so it made it even worse. Yuck.

xxx

xxx


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## Tadan

Bump =] Maybe our new mums could offer more advice?


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## lisabee

Its the smell of the bleeding afterwards that makes me sick and the fact u have to bath and change 4 times a day!!!!! 

I wish someone told me the really disgusting facts about what happens after having the baby I would have mentally prepared myself instead of thinking I was dying due to severe blood loss when all it was, was the locchia!

Remind me why we put ourselves thru this?? :)


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## Tadan

I'm really not looking forward to that part! As much as I think I'm ready, I don't think I'm that prepared for the bleeding afterwards!


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## NicolleM.T.B.

This thread is great!! Such a good idea and thank you for all the great advice ladies!! :D


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## aliss

Lochia (the after birth bleeding) doesn't hurt though at least. Uterus cramps do, but not the actual lochia. It's just rather icky. Purchase some crappy sweat pants that you don't care if they are ruined or not. You aren't going to be sexy that week anyways so you might as well roll in style :rofl:


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## PeanutBean

Pretty sure I've mentioned it before in this thread but the lochia really varies. In me it was lighter than a period the whole time.


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## flumpandme

One thing i did that no one told me about was 

after the first night in hospital, i had obviously been laying down and blood had collected in the dip in my Virgina and it had clotted so when iwent to the loo i lost a huge clot, i honestly thought my womb had fallen out and dashed to the MW station to express the fact that i had just lost my womb in the toilet and thought she needed to do something about it :blush:


----------



## lisabee

Tadan said:


> I'm really not looking forward to that part! As much as I think I'm ready, I don't think I'm that prepared for the bleeding afterwards!


Yeah its not very nice but bearable ah suppose, the afterpains can be sore too but strong painkillers and hot water bottles can usually sort that out

If all else fails a bottle of wine will soon ease the pain :wine:


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## Cat_pj

Rectal exam after giving birth...NO ONE told me about that! I exclaimed 'WOOOO' while the midwife did it! I'm quite glad I didn't know cos I'd only have dreaded it!


----------



## aliss

For me, that the "baby blues" are actually quite terrifying. You are right in the throws of mental illness, hating life, hating the baby, hating OH, grabbing the keys and running out the door. Many women don't experience that, but it's actually quite common. It's just disturbing and scary. Let your OH know how to recognize it and to be aware of it.


----------



## Cattia

aliss said:


> For me, that the "baby blues" are actually quite terrifying. You are right in the throws of mental illness, hating life, hating the baby, hating OH, grabbing the keys and running out the door. Many women don't experience that, but it's actually quite common. It's just disturbing and scary. Let your OH know how to recognize it and to be aware of it.

That's a very good point. Everyone told me the baby blues arrive about day 4 and last a few days but mine lasted two weeks solid. I was convinced I was geting PND but then after two weeks they suddenly went and I felt totally normal again.


----------



## Tadan

Cat_pj said:
 

> Rectal exam after giving birth...NO ONE told me about that! I exclaimed 'WOOOO' while the midwife did it! I'm quite glad I didn't know cos I'd only have dreaded it!

Sorry, what? please explain more?? :nope:


Also, the afterpains.. what are they like? I'm assuming worse than period pains? How long do you get these for?


----------



## aliss

Tadan said:


> Cat_pj said:
> 
> 
> Rectal exam after giving birth...NO ONE told me about that! I exclaimed 'WOOOO' while the midwife did it! I'm quite glad I didn't know cos I'd only have dreaded it!
> 
> Sorry, what? please explain more?? :nope:
> 
> 
> Also, the afterpains.. what are they like? I'm assuming worse than period pains? How long do you get these for?Click to expand...

The afterpains feel like mild period cramps, they aren't so bad really, it's your uterus shrinking (and occurs often when you breastfeed too due to hormones, your body sends the signal that the baby is born so it's time to return to postpartum state).

The rectal exam, I don't remember having one, but when you push you use your rectal muscles rather than vaginal ones so it's maybe just a checkup???


----------



## Mya209

aliss said:


> For me, that the "baby blues" are actually quite terrifying. You are right in the throws of mental illness, hating life, hating the baby, hating OH, grabbing the keys and running out the door. Many women don't experience that, but it's actually quite common. It's just disturbing and scary. Let your OH know how to recognize it and to be aware of it.

:cry:


----------



## PeanutBean

Yeah as aliss says about the afterpains. I've only had one kid so don't know from personal experience but my mum who's had four says that each baby the uterus contracts fast and faster and that by me (her fourth) they were really agonising, especially when bf, though of course then they don't last as long.

I was lucky the doctor had slender fingers for my bum exam...


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## KandyKinz

The rectal exam is to check to ensure that they did not place the stitches too deep (they shouldn't go into the rectum).

And the afterpains do tend to hurt more and more after each child. Didn't feel them at all with my first then with my second they hurt like the contractions I experienced in the first hour of labour...


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## aliss

I don't remember a rectal exam and I had stiches! Maybe she was a ninja.


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## pandabub

Hold on....*rectal exam you say?!*


----------



## debgreasby

Great thread!

I found the gas and air mouthpiece really useful for biting on when pushing..... also pethidine made me hallucinate, i was pointing out animals on the walls to my DH lol

I know it's been said before, but all the pain and struggle is worth it in the end .. and it can't be that bad, i'm on baby number 5 ;)


----------



## aliss

pandabub said:


> Hold on....*rectal exam you say?!*

*

 It's okay you won't have any dignity at the end anyways, they poke & prod down there and you don't even notice.*


----------



## Tadan

Is there any difference to the back ache you get in labour and just general back ache??

I've been having aches and pains on and off all week, tightenings are often but painless. But i feel really "heavy" down there, shooting pains there and in my bum? and back ache that comes and goes. It was up by my bra strap but now its lower down and on my left side, nothing I do eases it.Stitch like pain comes and goes, thats generally in my left side too. Also been having period like cramps but they seem to have eased a bit now. I feel reaaally uncomfortable.. any ideas?


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## Zedfaca

I refused the bum exam! Lucky I knew they might offer one so I turned it down straight away. First she said she wanted to check if I'd torn. Well, I knew that I hadn't. If I had then I'd just have had to suck it up and have it done but I'm not having any unnecessary fingers in my bum thanks! Then she tried offering me a suppository but I let her know I could put things in my own bum hole. She tried saying it was easier if she did it. Ha! Yes it would be 'easier' to get you to come and wipe my bum after I've been for a poo too but some things I like to do alone! I stood firm and left the hospital with my bum dignity intact. I had already been through enough, I at least wanted that!


----------



## KandyKinz

Tadan said:


> Is there any difference to the back ache you get in labour and just general back ache??
> 
> I've been having aches and pains on and off all week, tightenings are often but painless. But i feel really "heavy" down there, shooting pains there and in my bum? and back ache that comes and goes. It was up by my bra strap but now its lower down and on my left side, nothing I do eases it.Stitch like pain comes and goes, thats generally in my left side too. Also been having period like cramps but they seem to have eased a bit now. I feel reaaally uncomfortable.. any ideas?

I think pain is too subjective to be able to answer that question.... sorry can't help :shrug:


----------



## MissFox

EEP! To the bum exam!!!


----------



## Natsku

I found the bleeding was nowhere near as bad as I feared, but remember its not supposed to smell worse than your normal period so if it smells really bad go see your doctor, mine smelt bad and it turned out to be an infection.

I think they do the rectal exam to check if your sphincter is damaged if you tear.

And I thought the afterpains weren't supposed to be bad for your first child but mine were horrible and constant to begin with and they had to give me oxycodeine but it was only that bad the first night.

Oh and gas and air is really really good. And para cervical blocks are alright but I'd go for an epidural next time.


----------



## Tadan

Zedfaca said:


> I refused the bum exam! Lucky I knew they might offer one so I turned it down straight away. First she said she wanted to check if I'd torn. Well, I knew that I hadn't. If I had then I'd just have had to suck it up and have it done but I'm not having any unnecessary fingers in my bum thanks! Then she tried offering me a suppository but I let her know I could put things in my own bum hole. She tried saying it was easier if she did it. Ha! Yes it would be 'easier' to get you to come and wipe my bum after I've been for a poo too but some things I like to do alone! I stood firm and left the hospital with my bum dignity intact. I had already been through enough, I at least wanted that!

:happydance: Go you!
I'm glad it's been mentioned because I wouldn't have had the slightest! That woulda scarred me for life lol. What is the suppository for? Does everyone have them? 



KandyKinz said:


> Tadan said:
> 
> 
> Is there any difference to the back ache you get in labour and just general back ache??
> 
> I've been having aches and pains on and off all week, tightenings are often but painless. But i feel really "heavy" down there, shooting pains there and in my bum? and back ache that comes and goes. It was up by my bra strap but now its lower down and on my left side, nothing I do eases it.Stitch like pain comes and goes, thats generally in my left side too. Also been having period like cramps but they seem to have eased a bit now. I feel reaaally uncomfortable.. any ideas?
> 
> I think pain is too subjective to be able to answer that question.... sorry can't help :shrug:Click to expand...

No worries :hugs: I think it's just gearing up ready now. Knowing my luck I'll still go overdue lol.


----------



## Zedfaca

The suppository was a slow release anti inflammatory for pain relief. Honestly you should've seen the nurses face when I turned her kind offer down! Ooh you're getting close to the end now. I hope you'll let us know all the gory details. I think it's only fair after starting this thread!


----------



## Tadan

Ahh I see!! Haha I'm hoping my memory will keep up so I can share the deets! :D


----------



## Cat_pj

They were gonna give me the suppository too, I begrudgingly agreed to it, but it turns out they had ran out! So I had some oral thing instead, but I don't think I needed it either, as when I was sick I saw it lying in my sick bowl completely intact! I wasn't really in pain, just ached a bit.


----------



## jollymum

Again, RECTAL EXAM?!!!!  Oh my lordy, I had no idea about these! :dohh:


----------



## Cat_pj

jollymum said:


> Again, RECTAL EXAM?!!!!  Oh my lordy, I had no idea about these! :dohh:

Yeah look through your antenatal notes, at the back spaces which they fill in during and after delivery! Theres spaces for it there!


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## Mya209

Hmmm... I doubt you'll care by then! I'll be turning everything down that I dont think is necessary and asking why things are necessary if they insist! Praying that I dont need stitches!!


----------



## lisabee

Just seen my MW (who I kinda like now) and had a long talk about all the options and the fact that many MW dont tell you the ins and outs - I had my 1st I was TOLD I was having this injection and having that examination - As i didnt know any better there is soooo much that isnt said to us esp when having a 1st baby that you totally put ur trust into these people cos "they know best"

After speaking to her she went thru all the options as I am having a homebirth - like I didnt know I could get Diamorphine at home!!! I dont want it but still I would never have asked as I didnt realise it was available for homebirths

Also about the Vit K Injection for baby and the injection you for the afterbirth - I know you are offered these but with my 1st and 2nd I was given them - I wasnt asked and my MW said a lot of her mums dont want either of them!!!

Also did u know you dont have to be induced!!!!! Again I thought after u went to 42 thats it ur told to go in and get your date...nooooooo u can go for as long as u need providing the placenta scan and the hb checks are satisfactory - She said she had a mum who went to 45 weeks pregnant as she refused induction

Interesting chat she is now in my good books :D


----------



## lisabee

Mya209 said:


> Hmmm... I doubt you'll care by then! I'll be turning everything down that I dont think is necessary and asking why things are necessary if they insist! Praying that I dont need stitches!!

I was torn to my bum and if 2mm closer I would have had to have surgery luckily I was ok but didnt feel a thing when they stitched me up but then they did inject me to numb my lady bit it was after 5 days that I needed to poo is when I felt it

OH GOD I can still feel the pain now :cry:


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## Mya209

^^ oh goodness. Poor you!!


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## PeanutBean

Lisabee it sounds like you have an excellent mw. Have you been in the homebirth section? There's masses of info about just those sorts of issues. Most first timers really don't know they have a choice about anything at all but every woman has the right to refuse anything. Best to know what it is and why it's done to weigh up what's best in individual circumstances but nevertheless we can all say no. (Like with internals :haha:)


----------



## Tadan

Anyone know much on water births? Like do you have to be under a certain weight/bmi? I have asked several mws and consultants during my appts the past three weeks and none of them will answer if i can or not, one even pulled a face (that suggested no way no how) and said to ask the head consultant when i see her next week. I had a MW appt today and havent seen her before so thought i'd ask, she was really nice said sure she doesnt see why not, they have women in there with higher bmi's than me that give birth naturally and without problems and theyre experts at water births at the birthing centre. 
When I see the head consultant on weds I have to give her my final decision on where I want to give birth and its more dependant on whether or not i can have a water birth really! I have only put on 2lb during pregnancy and she was pleased about that, so im hoping she doesnt say I cant due to my weight :( 
Just wondered (without starting a new thread) if anyone had any info on this?


----------



## PeanutBean

There's a bit water birth thread in home and natural birthing with loads of facts and tips:
https://www.babyandbump.com/home-natural-birthing/539963-waterbirth-information-faqs-more.html


----------



## Aleksandra Dr

cool!


----------



## Szaffi

I haven't managed to read everything, but to me what noone told me was that after an exhausting birth (endless induction plus CS) I'd be left alone in a room with a screaming baby.

I don't remember any pain at all, only the utter exhaustion of the first night! I was also incredibly thirsty as at that point I haven't had any liquids in over 14 hours.


----------



## Tadan

PeanutBean said:


> There's a bit water birth thread in home and natural birthing with loads of facts and tips:
> https://www.babyandbump.com/home-natural-birthing/539963-waterbirth-information-faqs-more.html

Brilliant!! thank you :)


----------



## UkCath

Tadan said:


> PeanutBean said:
> 
> 
> There's a bit water birth thread in home and natural birthing with loads of facts and tips:
> https://www.babyandbump.com/home-natural-birthing/539963-waterbirth-information-faqs-more.html
> 
> Brilliant!! thank you :)Click to expand...

I am in Leeds and on the hospital tour (LGI) they just said to tell them you wanted the pool when you call in initially when you think you are ready to come in. They will assess your risk at that point when they first see you / check how dilated you are etc and let you know if there isa pool free. There is also a waterbith class in leeds to go to but I don't think it's compulasry, but we are going next Wednesday. (1st Weds each Month at Jimmies)

I really fancy it, my only worry is getting too hot in the warm water of the pool, I seem to get too hot very easily these days.


----------



## PeanutBean

Last pregnancy I planned a homebirth but was told I had to transfer. Had I been wiser I would've said no but I did at least refuse to go unless there was a pool so one of the two pool rooms was saved for me.


----------



## Mya209

Bump


----------



## londonangel

This is a great thread! Really useful for first-timers like me to have some idea of what to expect! I had also had no idea about the bleeding after the birth, even though I know it makes sense! I am most worried about feeling sick/throwing up during labour. The thing that scares me most about being in pain in labour is that when I am in severe pain, it makes me nauseous :-( Still, it'll all be worth it in the end!


----------



## Tadan

Oh me too! My sickness has kicked back in and I'm terrible in the mornings. Hope that, that doesn't mean I'll be sick during labour, that is my worst nightmare!


----------



## lisaf

I was talking to my mom the other day and I mentioned how I might not want her to visit right after the birth because I'll still be physically recovering with the afterpains and bleeding etc. She mentioned that nobody had warned her about the bleeding after birth and seemed kind of jealous that I got the heads-up that she didnt :haha:

Just thought I'd share and say how lucky I am/we are to have the internet and wonderful women willing to tell us like it is so we aren't shocked and terrified by 'normal' after birth things!! :)


----------



## MissFox

So true Lisa- I've talked to a bunch of women about bleeding/birth/etc and they are like NOONE WARNED ME ABOUT THAT! HOW DO YOU GET TO KNOW!?? Umm- interwebs people!


----------



## Tadan

MissFox said:


> So true Lisa- I've talked to a bunch of women about bleeding/birth/etc and they are like NOONE WARNED ME ABOUT THAT! HOW DO YOU GET TO KNOW!?? Umm- interwebs people!

Haha, that's soo true! Sometimes I feel like an expert, my SIL calls me her pregnancy bible ! :haha: It's all that I've learnt on here :D


----------



## Blah11

not read the whole thread but i never expected to still look 6 months pregnant when the baby had been born. Your uterus contracts very quickly if you BF but your stomach feels like really soft jelly for a couple of weeks and you really do look like youve not even had the baby yet. Dont take in your prepreg jeans in your hospital bag, chances are you WILL need your maternity clothes.


----------



## PeanutBean

Wow congratulations blah! :happydance:


----------



## jodz1984

This thread is so good, and informative!


----------



## Tadan

I thought it only fair that I contributed now I've had my lil un!

I have to say that I was well prepared for everything labour wise. And this is due to the information from this forum and especially this thread so thanks to everyone of you that have contributed information.

Labour - * My contractions weren't picking up on the monitor so staff didnt believe I was in labour! I think if you are in that much pain that you dont know what to do with yourself that you should ask for an examination, just to make sure.
* Baths are your best friend!! Honestly, the cramps were just about bareable while in the bath.
* My labour pains were just cramps that were 100x worse than period pains and a very very bad lower back.

Post delivery - * Had a second degree tear and a few stitches.. I thought this was worse than actually giving birth! (this could have been due to waiting over 2 hours to be stitched. I was offered gas and air but i hated it so declined)
* Blood loss was no where near as much as I assumed it would be. One day of wearing thick pads from the hospital and one day wearing maternity pads from mothercare. Now my blood loss is like a light period and im going on to wear ordinary pads now.
* No one actually prepares you for how much you are gonna ache afterwards! I thought it would just be underneath but I feel like John Wayne about the place, especially because my back is in half too aswell as my arms. (This could be due to having to be on my back to give birth - as I was induced and had to be monitored)


Thats all I can think of. Wishing all you lovely ladies still here all the best for you and your bundles and shall hopefully see you in the babyclub area :)


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## victoriajane

Congratulations Tadan, and thank you for starting this thread in the first place, its been brilliant! :)


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## Tadan

No worries :) I hope it helps others as much as it helped me !


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## BizyBee

So glad this thread exists. I feel much more prepared now! Thanks for all of the great stories and experiences.


----------



## vitriolic_vix

Tadan said:


> I thought it only fair that I contributed now I've had my lil un!
> 
> I have to say that I was well prepared for everything labour wise. And this is due to the information from this forum and especially this thread so thanks to everyone of you that have contributed information.
> 
> Labour - * My contractions weren't picking up on the monitor so staff didnt believe I was in labour! I think if you are in that much pain that you dont know what to do with yourself that you should ask for an examination, just to make sure.
> * Baths are your best friend!! Honestly, the cramps were just about bareable while in the bath.
> * My labour pains were just cramps that were 100x worse than period pains and a very very bad lower back.
> 
> Post delivery - * Had a second degree tear and a few stitches.. I thought this was worse than actually giving birth! (this could have been due to waiting over 2 hours to be stitched. I was offered gas and air but i hated it so declined)
> * Blood loss was no where near as much as I assumed it would be. One day of wearing thick pads from the hospital and one day wearing maternity pads from mothercare. Now my blood loss is like a light period and im going on to wear ordinary pads now.
> * No one actually prepares you for how much you are gonna ache afterwards! I thought it would just be underneath but I feel like John Wayne about the place, especially because my back is in half too aswell as my arms. (This could be due to having to be on my back to give birth - as I was induced and had to be monitored)
> 
> 
> Thats all I can think of. Wishing all you lovely ladies still here all the best for you and your bundles and shall hopefully see you in the babyclub area :)

I'm with you on this one Tadan! Thanks for starting this thread!

Things which surprised me were

- just how sore my stitches were. I had a couple of tears, one really bad one and some grazes and man did they hurt. I'm just starting to feel better now but esp the first week I struggled to even get out of bed on my own!

- I wish i had been given more information on breastfeeding and mastitis as on the evening of day three I was rushed to hospital to get antibiotics because I had this - on day three!!! Had it twice now and ouch its painful!

- look at the support numbers in your booklet from the hospital! I had such a bad start with bf / latching and mastitis and rang a couple of these helplines - they were really great! Breastfeeding isn't as easy as I was expecting it to be and am now exclusively expressing and toping up with ff... which isn't what I wanted at all. I cried more about this than about anything else and am now only just realising that it is ok... she loves me no matter what and I'm trying my best.

- how demanding I had to be with the midwives - they were really busy i know but i was left for hours with nothing but paracetamol and was crying with every contraction 5pm - 2am - only by my husband putting his foot down did they take me seriously! My LO was back to back it turned out!

- the bleeding wasn't so bad and pretty much stopped after 2 weeks :thumbup: no doubling up on pads for me! Though i did feel like i was constantly changing them those first couple of days

- That labour can give you piles! :shrug: :blush:

- to take clothes for little one in a few different sizes - everything i took was for a 7.5lb baby and my LO was 6lb 2oz and had no clothes to fit! I had to ask my mum to bring her some things! Its worth having one outfit thats a little smaller just because a lot of the sizes we are finding run big.

- the midwifes come to your house regularly after the birth so there is no need to panic! I had so many questions when I got home - we even wrote lists of silly questions for the day after when they came back! Those first couple of days are such a whirlwind!

- that i knew for sure my waters had gone because they just kept coming! I was sat on the loo shaking with adrenaline as they came pouring out! They were sort of thickish and oiley if that makes sense but there was no mistaking them! This happened for a good couple of hours!

- that first night in the hospital with LO on my own was so special! At 3am she was up for a cuddle and just stared at me for ages :cloud9: I'm really glad that I got that time with her on my own as nervous as I was about my husband leaving the ward - see picture below which I took to capture the moment!

Can't think of anymore right now but good luck ladies!!! :flower:
 



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## moomoo

That it's completely normal to not feel the "rush" of love that you'd expect... And that it can feel like you are looking after someone elses baby for quite a while after giving birth...


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## CeeCee2010

This is an awesome thread! Only just transferred to third tri and made my way through this thread this morning - so much to learn!! XXX


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## vitriolic_vix

bump


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## ImABeeMummy

Just had to add to this as I read the whole thing when I was in 3rd tri.. 

-when in pain with contractions, dont be afraid to ask for pain relief.. honestly, i had the liquid morphine which wore off so so very quickly, and then ended up breathing through them with OH rubbing my back for about an hour and a half, until they offered gas and air.. i thought it was too early and it would stop working.. but it was heaven!! 

-if you think something is wrong, tell the midwife!! I was 10cm for a good half hour with a very very strong urge to push before they did anything about it. they kept telling me to breathe through the contractions on the gas and air.. it was horrific, but i knew i was ready.. so make sure you tell them!!

- the bleeding after birth stinks :( its horrible but not as much as I was expecting. 

- pelvic floor exercises- very important.. defo do them in the 3rd trimester, cause after the birth it can get abit messy :(

-breastfeeding isnt simple, it takes time to get used to it and can hurt, i didnt get on well with it and didnt get much support from the midwives at the hospital, instead of showing me, they did it for me, and once i got home i had no idea what i was doing, so had to buy formula from a 24 hr tesco middle of the night so LO didnt starve, so make sure you get the help and support you need!!

-dont forget that after the birth and after everything, you still have to stay in hospital, even if its for a few hours, and if its late at night, depending on the hospitals policy, OH may not be able to stay with you, so that night can be difficult and scary, but the midwives are there for you, so use them!! 

Im sure theres loads more but I need to sleep =P


----------



## Zedfaca

Tadan said:


> I thought it only fair that I contributed now I've had my lil un!
> 
> I have to say that I was well prepared for everything labour wise. And this is due to the information from this forum and especially this thread so thanks to everyone of you that have contributed information.
> 
> Labour - * My contractions weren't picking up on the monitor so staff didnt believe I was in labour! I think if you are in that much pain that you dont know what to do with yourself that you should ask for an examination, just to make sure.
> * Baths are your best friend!! Honestly, the cramps were just about bareable while in the bath.
> * My labour pains were just cramps that were 100x worse than period pains and a very very bad lower back.
> 
> Post delivery - * Had a second degree tear and a few stitches.. I thought this was worse than actually giving birth! (this could have been due to waiting over 2 hours to be stitched. I was offered gas and air but i hated it so declined)
> * Blood loss was no where near as much as I assumed it would be. One day of wearing thick pads from the hospital and one day wearing maternity pads from mothercare. Now my blood loss is like a light period and im going on to wear ordinary pads now.
> * No one actually prepares you for how much you are gonna ache afterwards! I thought it would just be underneath but I feel like John Wayne about the place, especially because my back is in half too aswell as my arms. (This could be due to having to be on my back to give birth - as I was induced and had to be monitored)
> 
> 
> Thats all I can think of. Wishing all you lovely ladies still here all the best for you and your bundles and shall hopefully see you in the babyclub area :)

Being in so much pain you don't know what to do with yourself is a good thing to watch out for. That was the point when things started really getting underway for me. I actually started jumping up and down because it was just ridiculous and saying to my husband over and over, this is just ridiculous! and then laughing!! I can't really explain it, you know when you bash your hand and you shake it to try and make it feel better? I tried to do the same thing with myself by jumping!!


----------



## tiger

just thought i would add this as i wish i had been told before my first - 
if you arent so lucky to have a natural and need an elective section or emergency section while in labour (like i did) , please remember , EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT!!! when i was told i had to have an emergency section because he had stopped breathing properly, i was absolutely terrified from all the horror stories on sections! the truth for me was that it was fine ! I honestly had hardly any pain afterwards, a little cramping when standing up and had to walk around hunched over for the first few hours, but that was it. no unbelievable pain that i was told. you can hold your baby if all goes well (i couldnt stand for 24hrs from the spinal block i had been given) but could still hold baby, went home on day 4, hardly any trouble after day 5, felt completely normal (well as normal as u can feel when u r sleep deprived haha :haha: ). 
oh and your belly will look like a giant bowl of jello :/ dont be alarmed, it goes down in a few weeks :)


----------



## MissFox

Thanks Tiger- This actually just happened to me. Everything I was afraid of during birth happened (call it intuition or something- really with how things went lol). I got the epi even though I didn't want it originally and it failed. The Spinal block failed and I had to be put under general anesthesia. Yea- I'm in pain but it's nowhere near compaired to the pain I was having in labor. I thought I was going to have a stroke and started begging for a csection (pitocin was MAXED out with no pain relief). The first day was HORRIBLE but still- didn't hurt as bad as labor did. 
Things may not go as planned (probably wont) but I don't regret or feel bad about what happened because the first thing the nurse said to me in recovery was "there was no way she would have fit- you could not have pushed this baby out- she was facing the wrong way- stuck in your pelvis and had her chord around her neck" 
So I opted for the c-section before it was an emergency but it would have been and I wouldn't change it!

Ladies- all I can say is LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! I knew somthing wasn't right and the dr didn't until they opened me up.


----------



## tiger

MissFox said:


> Thanks Tiger- This actually just happened to me. Everything I was afraid of during birth happened (call it intuition or something- really with how things went lol). I got the epi even though I didn't want it originally and it failed. The Spinal block failed and I had to be put under general anesthesia. Yea- I'm in pain but it's nowhere near compaired to the pain I was having in labor. I thought I was going to have a stroke and started begging for a csection (pitocin was MAXED out with no pain relief). The first day was HORRIBLE but still- didn't hurt as bad as labor did.
> Things may not go as planned (probably wont) but I don't regret or feel bad about what happened because the first thing the nurse said to me in recovery was "there was no way she would have fit- you could not have pushed this baby out- she was facing the wrong way- stuck in your pelvis and had her chord around her neck"
> So I opted for the c-section before it was an emergency but it would have been and I wouldn't change it!
> Ladies- all I can say is LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! I knew somthing wasn't right and the dr didn't until they opened me up.

this is so true! you know your body better than any doctor! i knew something was wrong after my waters broke, i was 8cm when they broke them and they were going to check me 2hrs later , but about half an hour after i felt him move! they wouldnt believe me at all! and the pain i was in was horrendous! 
(not trying to scare u) , i was nearly fainting and i was vomitting blood from the pain, my body was going into shock. when they checked me i was begging for the spinal block and they wouldnt believe me he turned, they checked me and i had shrunk to 5cm and he had turned the wrong way and they still got me to push when i was 10cm, i knew i was going to get a section but they tried everything to get him out naturally, in the end he stopped breathing and they put me under a general because my bp skyrocketed and they thought i was going to die. they didnt listen to me and could have saved a lot of stress but they didnt.


----------



## JeepGirl

tiger said:


> just thought i would add this as i wish i had been told before my first -
> if you arent so lucky to have a natural and need an elective section or emergency section while in labour (like i did) , please remember , EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT!!! when i was told i had to have an emergency section because he had stopped breathing properly, i was absolutely terrified from all the horror stories on sections! the truth for me was that it was fine ! I honestly had hardly any pain afterwards, a little cramping when standing up and had to walk around hunched over for the first few hours, but that was it. no unbelievable pain that i was told. you can hold your baby if all goes well (i couldnt stand for 24hrs from the spinal block i had been given) but could still hold baby, went home on day 4, hardly any trouble after day 5, felt completely normal (well as normal as u can feel when u r sleep deprived haha :haha: ).
> oh and your belly will look like a giant bowl of jello :/ dont be alarmed, it goes down in a few weeks :)

I wish I could say the same. But my EMCS was awful. I was in labour for 12 hours with 2 hours of pushing. LO was back to back and got severely stuck. During surgery they had a very hard time getting LO out because he was so stuck, when they finally got him out it ripped my uterus up both sides. This caused a painful recovery and any other children I have must now be c sections :( I couldn't get out of bed myself for 4 days, spent a week in the hospital. OH stayed with us for the week in our room, and he had to do everything for LO. Before the birth I wanted to be in and out of the hospital ASAP. But I'm so happy I had that extra time there, I learned so much from the nurses and had time to recover some before going home.

It's been 2 weeks now since the surgery and today is the 1st day that I'm starting to feel a bit better, but I still have a long way to go.


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## chuck

Even if you have an EMCS if you have laboured and dilated then your foof WILL BE DIFFERENT!

Things have never quite been the same in there. Not bad just differnet.


----------



## tiger

my 'foof' is no different at all lol . and i was pushing for ages lol. DH and i had sex 2weeks after the birth (i hardly bled at all!) and he said he honestly couldnt feel any difference, if anything it was tighter (sorry tmi), the only thing that was different the first few times was that it hurt. 
Jeepgirl - sorry to hear about ur emcs :( my labour was really quite traumatising and horrific and the way they told us he had to get out NOW, was horrific but my recovery from it was fine. i guess it depends on the circumstances though. hope ur recovery gets easier :hugs:


----------



## MissFox

They didn't know mine was an emcs until they opened me up. Recovery is different for all and LO is 4 days old and I've changed 3 diapers today- damn proud of myself! Labor was traumatic for me too (see birth story) and I can't say I wouldn't have changed it but every other scenario that ends well puts me where I am now. LO was also back to back and they frog legged me to open my pelvis more (I have biiig bruises) to get her out. 
:hugs: jeepgirl


----------



## JeepGirl

My experience was the opposite. Labour and pushing wasn't bad at all, but the section was traumatic.


----------



## Tadan

Zedfaca said:


> Tadan said:
> 
> 
> I thought it only fair that I contributed now I've had my lil un!
> 
> I have to say that I was well prepared for everything labour wise. And this is due to the information from this forum and especially this thread so thanks to everyone of you that have contributed information.
> 
> Labour - * My contractions weren't picking up on the monitor so staff didnt believe I was in labour! I think if you are in that much pain that you dont know what to do with yourself that you should ask for an examination, just to make sure.
> * Baths are your best friend!! Honestly, the cramps were just about bareable while in the bath.
> * My labour pains were just cramps that were 100x worse than period pains and a very very bad lower back.
> 
> Post delivery - * Had a second degree tear and a few stitches.. I thought this was worse than actually giving birth! (this could have been due to waiting over 2 hours to be stitched. I was offered gas and air but i hated it so declined)
> * Blood loss was no where near as much as I assumed it would be. One day of wearing thick pads from the hospital and one day wearing maternity pads from mothercare. Now my blood loss is like a light period and im going on to wear ordinary pads now.
> * No one actually prepares you for how much you are gonna ache afterwards! I thought it would just be underneath but I feel like John Wayne about the place, especially because my back is in half too aswell as my arms. (This could be due to having to be on my back to give birth - as I was induced and had to be monitored)
> 
> 
> Thats all I can think of. Wishing all you lovely ladies still here all the best for you and your bundles and shall hopefully see you in the babyclub area :)
> 
> Being in so much pain you don't know what to do with yourself is a good thing to watch out for. That was the point when things started really getting underway for me. I actually started jumping up and down because it was just ridiculous and saying to my husband over and over, this is just ridiculous! and then laughing!! I can't really explain it, you know when you bash your hand and you shake it to try and make it feel better? I tried to do the same thing with myself by jumping!!Click to expand...

That makes sooo much sense to me! 
Definately when you know you cant take it anymore you need to get it checked out. If I hadn't goodness knows what woulda happened because they checked me at 5am and I was pushing at 5:30am. In half hour I went from 5cm to 10cm. Luckily I was in the hospital already being induced. If I had been sent home I wouldnt have made it home by that time never mind back to the hospital again!


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## victoriajane

Hey, I just thought I would bump this back up to page 1 as even though I haven't had my baba yet, I think this whole thread is just so fab, everyone should get chance to read through it for advice....now if only my own LO would make her appearance so I can make my own contribution!


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## PeanutBean

Hm, having given birth again a week ago I've now been reminded of the strange phenomenon of postnatally feeling like the baby actually came out my bum!


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## special_kala

PeanutBean said:


> Hm, having given birth again a week ago I've now been reminded of the strange phenomenon of postnatally feeling like the baby actually came out my bum!

I remember that feeling! :haha:


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## PeanutBean

Right back atcha in 10 weeks! :haha:


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## MissFox

special- your picture is so cute!


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## JeepGirl

Through my whole pregnancy I never for a mintue thought I would end up having a c section. I really really didn't want one, so I guess I was in denial that it could happen. I spent hours upon hours reading and researching vaginal births, so I would know what to expect, but never once did I look up anything about c sections. I wish I had, I went into my EMCS terrified, knowing very little about what they were doing. 

Also a little tip if you get hemroids from pushing. After a bowel movement, use baby wipes instead of tissue. They are nice and soft and clean the area better then dry tissue.


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## Heather9603

That you won't be horribly sweaty and your makeup will still be perfect and hair is dry!

Oh and that baby comes out the size of a 2 month old and barely has a little goo on him.


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## tjw

If you end up having a cesarean for any reason, afterwards it feels like there is still a baby moving around and kicking inside of you... I seriously actually asked a midwife if they'd accidentally left an unseen twin inside me - only to be told it's normal to feel movement still!!! (felt like a right wally lol)


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## victoriajane

tjw said:


> If you end up having a cesarean for any reason, afterwards it feels like there is still a baby moving around and kicking inside of you... I seriously actually asked a midwife if they'd accidentally left an unseen twin inside me - only to be told it's normal to feel movement still!!! (felt like a right wally lol)

Woah, that's mad! Did she say what the feelings were? Is it like phantom movements or your uterus etc just getting back to normal?!


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## tjw

victoriajane said:


> tjw said:
> 
> 
> If you end up having a cesarean for any reason, afterwards it feels like there is still a baby moving around and kicking inside of you... I seriously actually asked a midwife if they'd accidentally left an unseen twin inside me - only to be told it's normal to feel movement still!!! (felt like a right wally lol)
> 
> Woah, that's mad! Did she say what the feelings were? Is it like phantom movements or your uterus etc just getting back to normal?!Click to expand...

It's your insides trying to move back into place :haha:


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## MissFox

IT FEELS SO FREAKY! I read earlier in this thread about it and MAN WAS I HAPPY TO KNOW WHAT IT WAS!


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## caro103

if you tear badly take short cool baths with t-tree oil, it really soothes the area, helps healing and gives you the chance to make sure your nice and clean down there, whereas showers don't necessarily dislodge stuff :blush:!! 

oh and ask for strong painkillers, don't try and be brave! xx


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## Zedfaca

Just thought I'd bump this back up again!


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## LockandKey

here's a good one, women automatically doubling over in pain with absolutely no pre signs of labor, and active labor takes time on its own to get to. 

There's also a chance the mom can poo or wee herself while pushing.

And in every movie I've seen, the water breaks first, which only happens in like 10% of laboring women


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## LockandKey

some hospitals offer what's called a sitz bath, I have no prior experience, but it's probably something I will be taking


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## Heather9603

I think probably one of the most realistic movie births was probably from knocked up.

I mean they talked about her bloody show, whether or not her water broke, how dialated she was, etc. And I remember one scene in the waiting room where one of the friends asked why it had been such and such many hours.

Oh and Kathrine Heigls character was sweaty, gross looking, and screaming bloody murder :haha:


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## lisaf

The thing that surprised me (despite all the preparation of this thread) was that my legs swelled up a LOT. 
I'd barely had any swelling in my feet this pregnancy, but after the birth, I felt my legs swell all the way up to my knees. It also didn't go away with just putting my feet up for a bit, it lasted for days and days and didn't go down at all until DH started massaging my feet every night.

Also.. best advice I can give to those who are still expecting... find one friend, put them in charge of calling/notifying everyone of any details that come up. I thought I'd be able to handle updating everyone myself but then we ended up with our baby in the NICU (he's fine now) and I didn't have time to tell more than a few people details and the stress of everyone asking for updates was a pressure I could have really done without. Even if you don't end up with an eventful birth, it will be a lot easier to just have one person to contact and leave it up to them to contact all the people clammoring for details and you can just get some sleep and enjoy your baby.


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## JeepGirl

LockandKey said:


> here's a good one, women automatically doubling over in pain with absolutely no pre signs of labor, and active labor takes time on its own to get to.
> 
> There's also a chance the mom can poo or wee herself while pushing.
> 
> And in every movie I've seen, the water breaks first, which only happens in like 10% of laboring women

But be prepared that it can happen that way, even if its your 1st. I expected to have lots of time to have a bath and tidy up around the house. I had no signs that labour was coming on. My water broke than within 5mins contractions were coming 4mins apart and so strong that I was doubled over and couldn't talk through them. After only 6hrs of intense labour I was 10cm!


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## LucyluvsPoppy

my after pains were literally a few mins after delivery and lasted about half an hour then i could cope with some paracetomol to control them. They were bad for me but everyone is different.
Baby blues is when you feel really low and for me I had a few days where i felt lost, weird and emotional but it wasnt PND, it was just my emotions all over the place - it hit me 2 weeks after birth. i remember the HV said 'have you any concerns?' I said 'yes, cotdeath' then sobbed for the next 30minutes!!!!!!
Your health visitor and midwife are there to keep an eye on you the first few weeks after birth, tell them EVERYTHING about how you are feeling and they will help you - thats what they are there for. They wont whip your baby away or send you to the loony bin, they just want to help. my friend and her husband had midwife and health visitor support for 6 weeks after the birth as she really wasnt coping.
Make sure your partner reads up on the signs of baby blues/ PND so he can ask for help too if you are in denial xx


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## eeyore123

your body can go in to shock after labour.......... i've given birth 4 times and twice my body has gotten the shakes after labour......... uncontrollable shakes.... i couldnt even hold a cup of tea........... the 1st time i thought something was wrong but the midwife reassured me it was shock........ a stronge cuppa tea ( if u can manage to not spill it ) can help x

Also the bleeding after wards can be very heavy, and some times with small clots ........ dont go home and try and put on your decent clothes/knickers....... your foof can fell bruised and beaten u may still waddle as u walk...... its all normal ....... u wont swan outta hospital with a facefull of make-up wearing your pre-pregnancy jeans ready to run a marathon....... 
:hugs:


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## Deutschette

Thought I'd add a few things, not sure if they've been said or not, all c-section related...

1. Pitocin is bad stuff. I got it right before having my c-section and it made me shake uncontrollably. I had to be held down for them to give me the spinal block.

2. If you get a c-section, you will feel like you've been hit by a truck for a week. It will hurt to urinate because you won't have complete control of your bladder or the muscles down there. The stitched site will be numb and the surrounding skin may also be numb and/or tender, all the way up to your belly button. If you have the choice to get dissolving stitches, GET THEM!!

3. During the c-section, there will be a moment where you feel like you can't breathe because they're moving and pushing/pulling around your organs in there. Don't panic, it's over in less than 10 seconds.


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## Breezy

As Eeyore said above: The shakes! Mine were so bad after labor that I could not even hold LO for fear of dropping him. I passed him off to DH and felt so horrible as I didn't want LO to think I didn't want him, lol. 

The spray they use during the epidural STINKS so bad. I laid back on my pillow afterwards and my pillow smelled the rest of my stay- made me nauseous!

If you are afraid of being sick during labor (like me) ask for some anti nausea medication. I was given Zofran before my epidural and before I started pushing.

The nurses come and massage your stomach every half hour to try and make your uterus go down- it hurts! 

You will lose clots the size of plums- don't be alarmed at first as it is totally normal. 

The lochia smells!

And my last piece of advice is: You can get boils after birth- I had one like 2 weeks after and thought I broke my tailbone it was so bad. It wasn't til a week later that it popped and I finally realized what it was. It was literally in my butt crack!


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## lisaf

oh yes.. when they come and massage your tummy to help your uterus shrink, you may GUSH blood. It was a sensation I was NOT prepared for and was kind of shocking. I didn't really care since they had all kinds of stuff to absorb it, but it was just bizarre to feel like turkey baster or something that can just be squeezed and made to shoot out fluid.


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## mumoffive

They dont massage your tummy here!!! what an odd thing to do! I have never had that done with any of my children!


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## mumoffive

PeanutBean said:


> Hm, having given birth again a week ago I've now been reminded of the strange phenomenon of postnatally feeling like the baby actually came out my bum!

How true!!! and it is the very reason that you can find it very hard to poo after the birth. The first poo is always the worst. Its all so bruised.


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## CandyApple19

ohhhhh, my bumhole got really dry and chapped after my c section! it was HORRID. trying to poo for the first time was awful, my tummy hurt from ym section and my bumhole hurt cause it felt like it was gonna tear! FAIL.


----------



## tiger

CandyApple19 said:


> ohhhhh, my bumhole got really dry and chapped after my c section! it was HORRID. trying to poo for the first time was awful, my tummy hurt from ym section and my bumhole hurt cause it felt like it was gonna tear! *FAIL*.

:rofl: i seriously just laughed my head off at that!
yeh it took me a long time to poo after my c-section, i thought my scar was going to open!


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## MissFox

OMG! The bumm after the c-section! I swear I bled from pooing. Also the stool softeners didn't really do their job! It took so long for me to start going regularly. I ended up taking a natural remedy for constipation AND the stool softener... I'm only just now getting more regular!


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## Tadan

I didnt find going for a poo bad at all! I was a lil scared but went about 4 days after and it didnt hurt, it was ok :) So dont worry about that too much!


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## Mya209

Here's my contribution, just my personal experience, bear in mind everyone is different.

Labour hurt much worse than I was prepared for (baby was back to back). Contractions were a minute apart straight away. 
People say that people screaming during labour in films is unrealistic but I screamed the whole time and the last hour especially bad. I think they heard me in Scotland! Do what you need to do to cope!
I found it very hard to be active during labour even though I was trying as everytime i moved I had a contraction.
I had no pre-labour symptoms
My waters didn't go until I was 8 cm 
I didn't have a bloody show until being in labour a good 4 hours.
My body started pushing on it's own. I had no control over it at all. The contractions hurt most at this point and my body took over.
The ring of fire is scary. I had to make a conscious decision to push past the pain to get my baby out as I nearly was too scared to do it.
My bits hurt so much after baby was born that I couldn't hold baby as I had to concentrate so hard on dealing with the pain.
I was in shock for a while after the birth.
Stitches were very scary but didn't hurt.
You won't be skipping out of hospital unless you're very lucky. Its taken me two weeks to begin to feel vaguely normal and so looking after your little one in the first few weeks is hard! Accept as much help as you can and get your OH working round the house!
The bleeding and stinging down below, especially if you have stitches is very unpleasant at first but it does get better. 
I was on a high of euphoria for about three days and I was laughing so hard at everything and in a very good mood. Out of character good mood. Then on day 4 I had a really bad day of baby blues. This is normal! 
The suppository they offer you after your sitches is voluntary but consider having it as it really helped with the pain!


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## Pixiegirllily

Bump!


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## doggy121

Bump!


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## tiger

this thread is great for advice ladies :flower: 
any questions, feel free to pm me :thumbsup:


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## xxyjadexx

Great thread!


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## cupcakepie

Ive had just found this thread when popping over from 1st tri!!!

Ive sat here over the past two days and read the WHOLE 61 pages - it was like reading a book i couldnt put down!! And all i can say is "WOW"... 

This has got to be the best thread ive ever read! Ive learnt so much stuff that i didnt know before! To all the ladies that have contributed i have to say a big Thank You!!!!! I hope this post keeps on going, as its deff worth while a read for every pregnant lady! xx


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## doggy121

cupcakepie said:


> Ive had just found this thread when popping over from 1st tri!!!
> 
> Ive sat here over the past two days and read the WHOLE 61 pages - it was like reading a book i couldnt put down!! And all i say is "WOW"...
> 
> This has got to be the best thread ive ever read! Ive learnt so much stuff that i dont know before! To all the ladies that have contributed i have to say a big Thank You!!!!! I hope this post keeps going on, as its deff worth while a read for every pregnant lady! xx

aye i did the same...better than any book ive read, noone's this honest when there fam or friends!!


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## MissFox

Very true! I've told my friend most of this (she can't WAIT to have kids) and she keeps going "YOURE KIDDING! I DIDNT KNOW THAT! WHY DOES NO ONE TELL YOU THAT!"


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## HappiestMom

Oh Oh I have a question..pick me pick me!!! lol lol.. :hi:

So this is more of a before birth question...ive seen that your body starts trying to get you ready by you pooping more before you go into labor..to try and get it all out before you have to start pushing...is this true..and if so...how many days before did it happen for you and how much poo are we talking..like..once a day...twice a day..etc? AND!!..if you did poo a lot more than you had been right before labor..did you still end up pooing while pushing? :shrug:

Asking because this is the one thing hubby will never let me live down lol.. :dohh:


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## caro103

hate to say it, but i pooed just a bit more than what was normal for me during pregnancy prob about 2 wks or so before he was born and yep still pooed as his head came out :blush:, but other than shreaking 'get it out!' cos i nwas in water and it floated :rofl: you REALLY don'y care about the actual doing the poo! was more bothered it was in front of me :haha:


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## JeepGirl

MrsJerome said:


> Oh Oh I have a question..pick me pick me!!! lol lol.. :hi:
> 
> So this is more of a before birth question...ive seen that your body starts trying to get you ready by you pooping more before you go into labor..to try and get it all out before you have to start pushing...is this true..and if so...how many days before did it happen for you and how much poo are we talking..like..once a day...twice a day..etc? AND!!..if you did poo a lot more than you had been right before labor..did you still end up pooing while pushing? :shrug:
> 
> Asking because this is the one thing hubby will never let me live down lol.. :dohh:

My clear out started about a week before going into labour. It was several times a day:dohh: I did end up pooing a little bit, but the nurse cleaned it away as soon as it happened. I'm sure OH knew...but he has never said a word about it.


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## HappiestMom

Im having a water birth too if all goes well so yeah..I hope they arent floaters!! lol lol.. :rofl: I know I wont care at the time..but after..I will NEVER live it down lol..as I wont even fart in front of hubby..I will pee with him in the bathroom..but no farting or pooing lol lol..


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## special_kala

When we did our hospital tour with my DD my DH noticed the sieve next to the birth pool and asked me what it was for....his poor face when i explained :rofl:


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## HappiestMom

special_kala said:


> When we did our hospital tour with my DD my DH noticed the sieve next to the birth pool and asked me what it was for....his poor face when i explained :rofl:

I JUST told mine about the sieve thing the other night lol..I read it on here somewhere..lol..his face was priceless..and he said..oh hell no ..no way I am getting IN the pool with you like you said you wanted lol lol...I said thats ok..you can sit outside of the pool and fish lol lol.. :rofl:


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## MissFox

:rofl: I had clearouts and horrible contractions... but my body was all wonky so I'm probably not the best example of this. (her chord was around her neck and not letting her drop... I was having contractions every 5 mins and pooing like a mofo)


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## HappiestMom

lol..oh no lol lol lol...gosh I hope he is too busy paying attn to everything else to see it..or better yet I hope it just doesnt happen lol lol..


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## pollywolly123

bump:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:


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## Natsku

I didn't have a clearout before, I went the opposite way! But I didn't poo in labour (though I was convinced and I did and kept shouting "I'm pooing I'm pooing!") cos they gave me an enema when I first got to the hospital.


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## earthangel26

I have to say I was surprised at the amount of fluid that poured out of me when they broke my waters (I had to be induced so they had to be broken for me).
Seriously the volume that gushed out was incredible, and when I thought there could possibly not be any more inside me, with each contraction more gushed out.
The films certainly don't tell you how messy childbirth will be! 
My OH was my birth partner and I don't think there is anything that could come out of me that would shock him now!:haha:
I vomited violently several times too during labour which was horrible, but the midwife said this happens because the force of you vomiting helps to push the baby down.

Also, stay very hydrated after birth and maybe ask for a laxative, because going to the toilet for a poo afterwards was excruciating, to the point where I was crying in agony! However i had a caesarean so this might be different for ladies who delivered naturally.


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## lisaf

I didn't have a clearout. I did a very tiny poo though nobody would confirm when I asked.
I did throw up several times during labor and had a long labor so there wasn't much in my system...


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## HappiestMom

uggh..being pukey is also something I hope doesnt happen to me..I dont normally get sick when in pain so I hope Im ok..I just hate the feeling..I would rather have cramps and stuff than be pukey..uggh..hate it....


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## JeepGirl

MrsJerome said:


> uggh..being pukey is also something I hope doesnt happen to me..I dont normally get sick when in pain so I hope Im ok..I just hate the feeling..I would rather have cramps and stuff than be pukey..uggh..hate it....

I never vomited, but just before I was ready to push I got bad heartburn. They gave me Zantac and then I was fine.


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## caro103

MrsJerome said:


> Im having a water birth too if all goes well so yeah..I hope they arent floaters!! lol lol.. :rofl: I know I wont care at the time..but after..I will NEVER live it down lol..as I wont even fart in front of hubby..I will pee with him in the bathroom..but no farting or pooing lol lol..

I have a feeling you and your hubby are going to have a whole new depth to your relationship after childbirth :haha:. Good luck though hun, its the most amazing experience ever! xx


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## Experiment13

Labor itself was a joke compared to actually being a parent. I would go through one every week if it helped ease my parental anxiety. I found breastfeeding way worse than actual labor, in which I was induced, had 4th degree almost complete tear, episiotomy and vacuum delivery.

I also pooped during labor, through the whole thing, and every time I got post partum uterus cramps day or two after delivery. 

When that epidural hits it is like heaven. I made it to 7cm sans epidural on pitocin and could not go any more. The guy that gave it to me is a damn artist - it was just enough to take the edge off but I still had feeling in my lady parts and my legs. However, if you can make it without it, it is way better for pushing.

Pushing sucks. Especially if your baby is still up high and you need to make it come down. It is hard to know where and how to push since there is no leverage. 

The floor, room, walls and my medical team looked like they just slaughtered a cow. There was blood and excrement everywhere. The funny part is that you don't care because your sweet baby is there.

I was very worried about episiotomy and tearing. As I said, I had the worst possible tearing in addition to episiotomy (plus some lovely hemorrhoids) and yet it healed very fast and pain was not a big deal at all. I was up and going almost immediately. Yes, had to take some Motrin but it was seriously nothing. 

One thing I wish I knew about in greater detail is how sleep deprivation and the weight of being a parent to this sweet little being hits you like a brick wall. The emotions, the anxiety, the raging, insane hormones, the worry. Holy $hit. I still feel like someone threw me off a cliff.


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## qpaulina42

Having just given birth this week, I'll add that the thing I was not prepared for is how my body felt afterwards. It's like I've been hit by a bus, repeatedly. Every muscle is sore, I can barely walk, I feel like things are falling out of my vagina (and the obgyn said it's not that uncommon to actually have the bladder actually fall out or at least partially hang out, WTF???). I did have 2.75 hours of pushing, which may be the reason for the extra discomfort, who knows. Oh and giant ass blood clots. When the told me not to worry till they are the size of a fist I thought they were joking, but no...


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## Lettuce

See if you bleed excessively and they give you iron... Don't panic when your stools are black! Lol. 
As for afterwards, just take it one day at a time! Reward yourself every time you do something! Set small goals. "if I get a shower today I'm having an extra biscuit!" hell, have the biscuit anyway- you deserve it! 
Plan for other eventualities- I wanted a vaginal birth but was not to be- emcs with PPH. So I was weak and sore. It meant no housework and lots of help required. 
Breastfeeding is hard and thirsty work! I recommend having a glass that you know the measurement of- I have a 1/2 lt one, so I know I need to fill it and drink it at least 4 times a day.buy in diluting juice if you like- makes a nice change from water.
Cluster feeding... Ah, this is interesting. To build up your supply, there will be days when your newborn feeds almost constantly, for hours... And I mean hours! And constant meaning you will get enough time between feeds to go to the toilet. That is all. My suggestion is you put something good on, relax and accept thats your job for the day... Have plenty of snacks, and nipple cream! :) just remember it's normal! The breastfeeding section on here is fantastic for advice and support. 
One last thing about labour...
I was frightened about things going wrong, I worried about how I'd cope, see when you're going through it, you won't be scared, things did go wrong for me, but honestly, at the time, I was so in the moment I was fine. So try not to worry about that.
Good luck ladies! You'll all be fine. xx


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## Stevensmummyx

Bump this thread! It's been a year since someone last posted and it could help new mummies to be :D! X


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## UkCath

I remember this thread from last time. Watch out new - mums to be - it gets a bit scary in places!

What I have taken from last time, which will be handy to know for this time, is that anything can happen in labour and I'll just have to go with it at the time and not feel bad if things don't go 100% to plan.

Also to expect to feel like I've been in a car crash and have trouble visting the loo for a while after, but that it does get better quickly and it's all worth it.


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## Louppey

Ahh I remember this thread from last time...

Things you don't get told, if you have a section you will feel like you've been hit like a bus at first! The nurses will tell you (well atleast mine did) that you will feel completely normal after two weeks. It's true, you do. However it is an illusion! I acted normally and ended up in some serious discomfort. Take it easy for 6 weeks plus...

You don't bleed any less with a section, I bled more actually although I could be the exception to the rule.

Other things I didn't get told about when baby is here, babies don't sleep, EVER. I expected some sleep, I got none. My LO doesn't sttn even now :coffee: So don't expect to pop out a sttn bubba. It's not going to happen. Sleep deprivation sucks, you will feel the worst you have possibly felt but it does get easier to cope with and it is certainly worth it. You will hate your husband/partner and your relationship with *temporarily* suffer due to the strain having a baby puts on your relationship. In your sleep deprived state you will literally hate seeing your significant other laying there peacefully at night while you're up for the 6th, 7th, 8th time.

Argh f*ck. What can you say. There's a lot of sh*t that happens in the first 6 weeks and it is a mixture of heaven and hell but get through it and have your baby smile at you for the first time and everything will be forgotten.


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## Lettuce

Wow, I thought I'd killed this thread! :rofl:

Well, a year on and it has faded, I also have a non-sleeping baby. :dohh:
By the way, practically everyone lies to you! ;) ESP about how good their baby is, what he/she can do etc. Just smile and know your baby is perfect! :) x


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## Stevensmummyx

Oh the films don't show you children taking one long tantrum from 1 and a half till they are 3! Terrible twos my backside! Lol xx


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## noileena

Ha, I remember this thread, what fun!

I've got to say, my labour didn't go to plan - I wanted a homebirth, ended up giving birth in hospital after being induced at 16 days OD. In and out in 12 hours and no where near as horrific as I expected. For me, it was afterwards that wasn't so great - DS looked like he was feeding properly, but turns out he wasn't, so he lost loads and loads of weight - I put pressure on myself to BF and had so many people prodding and poking my boobs (which is something I never thought I'd allow!); sat for hours expressing which was just horrendous as I never felt I could get out of the house and was miserable... and in the end, just had to give in and bottle feed, and for me and my baby, that was the best thing I could have done as I then went on to enjoy my baby...

Things I wasn't told that I wish I was (not everyone will agree!)
Your bladder and pelvic floor are never the same again. But it does take 12 months for them to fully recover...

First 12 weeks when he slept in our room was hell. Get them out soon - they make far too much noise!

Routine, routine, routine - this feeding on demand lark meant my DS ate VERY little and often (like 1-2oz) so it felt like I was constantly feeding, so couldn't go anywhere. I took a friend's advice around 16 weeks and just made him wait a little longer.... and bingo, he then took more, and I was then able to get into feeding every 2.5 hours in the day, which then meant he was tanked up and slept more at night (eventually!).... Feeding then went to one at 10pm, 3am, and 7am; and now, 1 year on, we have a child that sleeps through most of the time, so it can be done!

You may not feel totally 'loved up' with you baby at first - although I was told this, I wasn't sure long that would last - it can last a while..... but it all sorts itself in the end.

And yes, tantrums - they do start around the 1st birthday...!


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## lhancock90

In films, they never mentioned the mucas plug, looks like your bits have a runny gunky nose. Not attractive.

They also don't mention that sometimes your waters don't just break, they break, then continue to gush water with every single contraction until baby arrives.

They don't tell you that your hair will stick to your face, your mascara will run and you won't look like a model.

They don't tell you that babies actually appear covered in gunk.


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## Emmy1987

They don't tell you that even at 13 months your STTN baby can wake at half two in the morning... to play :dohh: and trying to cosleep with them during this time is pointless as they climb off the bed and try to go down the stairs :coffee:


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## Lettuce

They don't tell you that no matter how hard you try, you'll always think your baby is the best, cleverest, most beautiful one. And do you know what, you're right. ;)
It took me nearly a year to bond with my DD, but I'm loving it now, the tantrums and all. :)


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## JaanRuk

following :)


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## Louppey

Emmy1987 said:


> They don't tell you that even at 13 months your STTN baby can wake at half two in the morning... to play :dohh: and trying to cosleep with them during this time is pointless as they climb off the bed and try to go down the stairs :coffee:

I hear ya :coffee:

My LO only just started STTN recently, only waited 16 months for it to happen :sleep:


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## Natsku

I'm still waiting!


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## lyricsop03

I'm very glad this thread was revived. Kinda scary to read but still glad I did.


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## Louppey

Natsku said:


> I'm still waiting!

:hugs:

Coralie gave me a shocking night the other day and I was reminded just how awful it is :(


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## Natsku

Louppey said:


> Natsku said:
> 
> 
> I'm still waiting!
> 
> :hugs:
> 
> Coralie gave me a shocking night the other day and I was reminded just how awful it is :(Click to expand...

Maria is still up at least twice a night and had a couple nights recently when she was up most of the night :dohh:


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## Louppey

Natsku said:


> Louppey said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Natsku said:
> 
> 
> I'm still waiting!
> 
> :hugs:
> 
> Coralie gave me a shocking night the other day and I was reminded just how awful it is :(Click to expand...
> 
> Maria is still up at least twice a night and had a couple nights recently when she was up most of the night :dohh:Click to expand...

You deserve a medal!! Coralie was like that until about a month ago, and suddenly her sleep improved and her bottle got later (around 5/6am), two weeks ago she dropped the bottle completely and sttn :shock: I'm still waiting for it to go hideously wrong...


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## Natsku

Louppey said:


> Natsku said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Louppey said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Natsku said:
> 
> 
> I'm still waiting!
> 
> :hugs:
> 
> Coralie gave me a shocking night the other day and I was reminded just how awful it is :(Click to expand...
> 
> Maria is still up at least twice a night and had a couple nights recently when she was up most of the night :dohh:Click to expand...
> 
> You deserve a medal!! Coralie was like that until about a month ago, and suddenly her sleep improved and her bottle got later (around 5/6am), two weeks ago she dropped the bottle completely and sttn :shock: I'm still waiting for it to go hideously wrong...Click to expand...

I hope it doesn't go hideously wrong!

Maria drinks more in the night than she does in the day *sigh* but its ok, I recover when she's at her dad's.


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## Allyson11

Just read through this thread, very helpful! No one has told me any of this!


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## Stevensmummyx

Bump!


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## SpotlessMind

Bump :0)


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## vitriolic_vix

Bump


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## ParisJeTadore

This is definitely an old thread but lots of worthwhile information (not that I got through all 65 pages!).

I know everyone is different but there is nothing I hate more through this whole process than postpartum. I hate it with a vengeance! Hormones are all over the place and the BLEEDING, OMG! I'm sure I'm an exception but I bled for 8.5 weeks with ds1, 13.5 weeks with ds2 and, lets be honest, am absolutely terrified of what it will look like this go around!

I will also never forget getting up to use the washroom twelve hours after giving birth and hearing what sounded like a hockey puck fall into the toilet only to realize it was a blood clot the size of a lemon :wacko: I think I had been lying down for too long and the blood pooled but what a shock, lol!


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## Mrs. MB

I was sharing last week with my best friend and DH that post partum is the best kept secret... The pain of healing while dealing with hormones and taking care of a newborn is seriously f-ed up! Also who invented healing while bleeding?


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