# Hypnobirthing without partner's involvement?



## Agcam

Hello ladies,

I did a hypnobirthing course and have been practicing on my own fairly regularly. My DH, however, doesn't seem to want to practice with me. He will be there during the birth, and will likely act as my advocate to make sure that my birthing preferences are restricted. However, the rest of it is up to me.

Has anyone had experience of hypnobirthing without your partner being involved in the relaxation? 

Thanks!


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## ljo1984

Me!!!! My dh referred to it as my hippy shit! How supportive!! So I went it alone, did the cd at home myself and it really worked wonders for when I was in labour. I used relaxation, visualisation to get me through contractions and in a weird way found it very enjoyable. Oh just faffed about cleaning and sorting the pool out. It all happened very quick so never got chance to listen to my cd while in labour but I found I didn't need him for support, I was happy enough on my ball, tens in one hand, phone in other (on contraction timer app!). I got transferred and started pushing after I got to hospital, oh had my phone which he picked up from home and after I focused back in the room after one push I thought what the hells that noise, he's put the bloody track on from my phone, followed by an evil glare and a stern no from me!! Ha ha. 

So you can do it without your oh's involvement although at the time he might be wanting to help with massage or stuff like that, I personally just want to be left to my own devices so didn't mind when he didn't seem interested. Xx


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## Agcam

Thanks, Ljo. I'm a bit miffed (probably the hormones :haha:), but not worried about it. 

I am concerned that he's going to feel helpless on the day, though. He really liked the idea of hypnobirthing when I explained it to him, especially that there is potential for the father to be involved instead of just waiting around. He's just not interested in practicing. :shrug:

It's nice to hear a good birth story, so thanks again for responding :)


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## ljo1984

He might just get involved on the day, oh said he felt useless at dd1's birth which was in hospital, with dd2 he had a job of filling up the pool etc I honestly didn't really have him by my side till I was pushing. I've seen videos of hypnobirthing with the man talking the woman through the contractions, holding them or massage, for me that would drive me mad ha ha but if you want any of that inparticular, even if he doesn't practice with you maybe write down what you want from him when your in labour and speak about it and how important it is to you, how it will keep him busy etc. Xx


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## SusieQ30

Kind of!!

My OH doesn't really get it! He finds it so hard to sit and read ANYTHING there is no chance of him reading the book. He listens when I explain what Ive been doing but feel that he can't grasp how important this is to me...a small hope that I wont totally freak out in labour :wacko:

One of my best friends has been coming to classes, she's had three totally different births so I've felt good about that and she's really supportive, only problem is that OH now feels he's having his nose pushed out and doesn't really want her around at the birth. This has really upset me, I feel totally alone with it all and bad for my friend who has put all her time into this with me :-/

The consultant is now pretty much insisting that I get induced early (I lost a twin at 16 weeks so am high risk) so I feel like it was all for nothing :-(

Sorry didnt mean to ramble :hugs:


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## ljo1984

Susie it won't be for nothing! I was on high doses of pitocin with dd1 and used visualisation to get me through contractions for the majority of that labour and that was before I'd even heard of hypnobirthing do you will find it will come in use. Also if you want to try and avoid induction you could always ask for regular scans, monitoring instead. Xx


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## Agcam

ljo1984 said:


> He might just get involved on the day, oh said he felt useless at dd1's birth which was in hospital, with dd2 he had a job of filling up the pool etc I honestly didn't really have him by my side till I was pushing. I've seen videos of hypnobirthing with the man talking the woman through the contractions, holding them or massage, for me that would drive me mad ha ha but if you want any of that inparticular, even if he doesn't practice with you maybe write down what you want from him when your in labour and speak about it and how important it is to you, how it will keep him busy etc. Xx

I don't think I'd want him talking me through it either. I believe I'd prefer silence, and might otherwise tell him to shut it. :haha: 
I think he'll just have to be my advocate and make sure that the midwives follow my birthing preferences. I probably wouldn't mind the occasional massage either, depending. :)


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## Agcam

SusieQ30 said:


> Kind of!!
> 
> My OH doesn't really get it! He finds it so hard to sit and read ANYTHING there is no chance of him reading the book. He listens when I explain what Ive been doing but feel that he can't grasp how important this is to me...a small hope that I wont totally freak out in labour :wacko:
> 
> One of my best friends has been coming to classes, she's had three totally different births so I've felt good about that and she's really supportive, only problem is that OH now feels he's having his nose pushed out and doesn't really want her around at the birth. This has really upset me, I feel totally alone with it all and bad for my friend who has put all her time into this with me :-/
> 
> The consultant is now pretty much insisting that I get induced early (I lost a twin at 16 weeks so am high risk) so I feel like it was all for nothing :-(
> 
> Sorry didnt mean to ramble :hugs:

I'm sorry about your loss, Susie :hugs:

I don't think it will be for nothing! The person conducting our course made it a point to tell us that hypnobirthing is not just for "normal" deliveries without any interventions. She gave us examples of people she had known who found it very helpful with inductions, C-sections, etc. You can apply what you've practiced in any of those situations to keep yourself relaxed and calm :hugs:


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