# 41 and pregnant....



## Canadianmom4

I will be 42 when this baby is born. I'm scared!! Is there anyone out there that can give me some reassurance that things will be okay.


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## Graceyous

I can't give you direct reassurance as I'm in the same boat as you almost! (40 and pregnant) but I am aware of numerous women who have had much better pregnancies in their 40's than they experienced in previous years (in real life and online. My mother had me at 40 and in fact her sisters all had successful healthy pregnancies right into their mid-forties.

Try not to be scared I know that is hard and I've spent a lot of the early weeks of this pregnancy afraid and nervous - but I've tried to focus on thepositive and enjoy this is wonderful time...

:flower:


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## Canadianmom4

Graceyous said:


> I can't give you direct reassurance as I'm in the same boat as you almost! (40 and pregnant) but I am aware of numerous women who have had much better pregnancies in their 40's than they experienced in previous years (in real life and online. My mother had me at 40 and in fact her sisters all had successful healthy pregnancies right into their mid-forties.
> 
> Try not to be scared I know that is hard and I've spent a lot of the early weeks of this pregnancy afraid and nervous - but I've tried to focus on thepositive and enjoy this is wonderful time...
> 
> :flower:

Thanks so much for your reply. I've just been reading how everything increases with age, for example, the chance of miscarriage, the change there's something wrong with the baby. I'm optimistic and trying to stay positive. The only thing I'm worried about at the moment is the lower back pain I'm having.


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## Graceyous

Wouldn't it be great if you could change the settings on Google to 'show only positive stories'. Sometimes it's best to keep away from Dr. Google! For me it's only as the time has passed that I'm now managing to read the sad forum posts on here it was just to hard and I knew my anxiety would rise. 

I had some lower backache and cramping early on, and because I was so anxious every twinge and cramp felt like it was huge! But anyway from all the info out there they're perfectly normal symptoms - something about a hormone relaxing all the muscles so uterus can expand.... lovely!:wacko:


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## Canadianmom4

Graceyous said:


> Wouldn't it be great if you could change the settings on Google to 'show only positive stories'. Sometimes it's best to keep away from Dr. Google! For me it's only as the time has passed that I'm now managing to read the sad forum posts on here it was just to hard and I knew my anxiety would rise.
> 
> I had some lower backache and cramping early on, and because I was so anxious every twinge and cramp felt like it was huge! But anyway from all the info out there they're perfectly normal symptoms - something about a hormone relaxing all the muscles so uterus can expand.... lovely!:wacko:

I told myself not read any negative stuff online, or posts. I actually went to my doctor today and he was very positive. Has no concerns at all about anything. I'll get my hcg levels tomorrow, but the digital test I took a couple days ago was 3+, so I'm not too concerned about that.

How's things with your pregnancy so far? This forum seems rather "slow". Not many of us 35+ ladies out there?


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## Graceyous

Ah the lovely digi 3+ - I was so happy when I saw that too.

So far - my ms has eased off since 3 or 4 wks ago but now noticing a little heartburn at night now - I suffered really badly with that in last pregnancy. Also really trying to not gain too much weight but it just seems to be sneaking on me, didn't help that only bad food helped my ms early on but will try to be better behaved for rest of pregnancy - my bump is taking on shape - less bloaty looking more rounded which is nice.

I've booked a gender scan for 29th April - couldn't wait any longer and I can bring my OH and LO in to see result too. I'm not too fussy about what it is but think knowing will make rest of pregnancy nicer as I can buy pink/blue things and feel a little more attached if you know what I mean!

Are you planning on finding out or keep as surprise?

It is quite in here I've popped in and out but most seem tto spread out in groups forums and trimester boards...


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## Soanxious

Congratulations on your pregnancy, I am 41 and ttc there are loads of over 40's out there, you just have to filter through the forums. I chat to a woman who was 42 had her baby 5 months ago, another woman 41 had her baby 6 weeks ago and another 41 pregnant now. and women older than us ttc.. Good luck and Congratulations again.. x


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## calibelle

Hi there!

I am 41 and will be 42 when the baby comes in December. I don't worry about my age as much as me running after a toddler. 

Most of the women I know were 40 or older when they gave birth. Very few had complications. It's sort of the norm where I live so I don't give it a second thought.

So far everything is normal, achy breast and I can sleep 12 hours suddenly. I have my first scan a week from this Tuesday.


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## doshima

Hi, am 41 and my pregnancy is going pretty awesome. I did worry about anomaly scans cos of my age but all is well and babies are even measuring a little ahead of time. I think am downing too much food. My MS was awful to say the least but am glad is over. Did not have it that bad wit my 2 grown up children. So I'll just say relax and take things easy. Don't stress and don't worry too much.


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## Minimin

Hey! I just turned 41 last week. Am hoping at 15w this pregnancy will be fine. I have a DD 3 yrs old. In worried about the 20 week scan I've got booked for 2nd June and considering either/both panorama/private anomaly scan earlier than the NHS one.

All such a worry!


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## Soanxious

I am so hoping to still get pregnant, I am 41 and will be 42 in December, I have had 4 chemical pregnancies since Oct 2013 my last one was a few days ago on 18th april. please please please I really want a sticky healthy baby xxxx You are all giving me hope.. xxx


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## Whitesoxfan41

My daughter will be 3 months tomorrow and I turned 43 just 10 days ago. :) I didn't have anything out of the ordinary with my pg. Good luck!!


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## Izzybay

Soanxious said:


> I am so hoping to still get pregnant, I am 41 and will be 42 in December, I have had 4 chemical pregnancies since Oct 2013 my last one was a few days ago on 18th april. please please please I really want a sticky healthy baby xxxx You are all giving me hope.. xxx

Just wanted to add another positive and to wish you good luck. I am 41 and will be 42 when #3 is due. I have a 3 1/2 yr old and a (just) 1 year old. We tried for two years for our second and had a chemical and a mmc before he was conceived. We didn't even consider we'd ever be able to have more and were very happily surprised with #3, currently 18 weeks. My mf assures me it's not that unusual and that she has had many older mums.


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## Izzybay

Soanxious said:


> I am so hoping to still get pregnant, I am 41 and will be 42 in December, I have had 4 chemical pregnancies since Oct 2013 my last one was a few days ago on 18th april. please please please I really want a sticky healthy baby xxxx You are all giving me hope.. xxx

Also meant to add, have you looked at/discussed baby aspirin (75mg) with your GP. It was prescribed me with this pregnancy for use after 12 weeks but googled it before taking and found it can also apparently help with recurrent miscarriage. May be worth discussing with your GP? Sorry for your losses and fingers crossed for a sticky one.


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## Soanxious

Thanks for all the hope stories :) makes me feel better.. I have been taking baby aspirin for 2 months, i did not help with this last one :( xx


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## Pussy Galore

Hi :hi:

I really wish I had popped on to this forum earlier. The reassurance on this thread is great!

I am 40 and pregnant with my second and finding this pregnany so stressful...

At my booking appointment with the midwife last week I was advised that I would be classed as high risk (purely because of my age) and have been advised that I will need to see a Consultant at some stage rather than just the midwife

I was also given worrying stats about possible issues with the pregnancy and so I am having a nuchal scan in two weeks... which I am dreading 

And all I want to do is to relax and enjoy this pregnancy which I am so delighted about!

I wish you all happy and healthy pregnancies!!


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## Soanxious

congratulations, and don't worry... women have high risk pregnancies at all ages, my daughter was 23 having her first and that became complicated, she ended up with her healthy baby, yet I had all my kids with no problem, a friend of mine had a baby with complications at a young age too so don't worry... they just say it, all pregnancies carry risk no matter what age you are, the worse thing is stress, so try not to stress, you're pregnant, enjoy it, you will be fine :) x


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## Vmjamerican

Same here..will be 42 when bundle arrives December 1, A little worried.:winkwink:


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## Graceyous

Just a quick update - I went for a gender scan yesterday and person doing it (can't remember correct name for that) was really nice and did a quick anatomy check and everything was perfectly on scale for 19 weeks and main structures look perfect. So that was an added bonus to the news that we are expecting a little baby boy.

Another positive is that this pregnancy (so far) has been better than my last full-term one 7 years ago!

:cloud9:


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## Soanxious

Vmjamerican said:


> Same here..will be 42 when bundle arrives December 1, A little worried.:winkwink:

A lot of older mums seem to have a breeze with pregnancies from what forums suggests.. good luck :)


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## Soanxious

Grace - Aww a little boy.. congratulations... I found out on all mine what I was having.. if I manage another pregnancy I dont want to know.. I want a surprise :D


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## Buster1

Congrats to all you ladies and good luck to those TTC. I'm glad I found this thread because of the positive stories. I'm 40 and have 17 month old twin boys. I'm kind of at a crossroads in trying to decide if I would like to have another baby or not. I think I'm leaning more towards the yes side. My boys were through IVF and I have 2 embryos that are frozen. I've been taking my time thinking about this but I know that time is not on my side so it's great for me to hear about women who are 40 and over who are having successful pregnancies. Good luck to all of you and again congratulations. :flower:


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## Soanxious

Hi Buster.. and welcome :) beautiful twins you have :) GL with whatever you chose to do.. :) x


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## Buster1

Soanxious said:


> Hi Buster.. and welcome :) beautiful twins you have :) GL with whatever you chose to do.. :) x

Thank you for the warm welcome and kind words Soanxious. Wishing you lots of luck on your journey as well. :flower:


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## Soanxious

I got this..this lunchtime... SMU
 



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## pineapple91

Soanxious said:


> I got this..this lunchtime... SMU

looks like a positive to me congrates. I am 43 and my pregnancy so far hasn't been much different from my other ones. All my test have come back normal. GL with yours


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## Soanxious

I just took this within last 30 mins.. 5th wee of the day and 11dpo im hoping this one is strong...


Im hoping I am as lucky as you then :)
 



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## Graceyous

OMG! Huge congratulations to you! Well done.... :happydance:


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## Soanxious

Thank you Grace.. im really hoping I get to bring this baby home in January xx


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## excitedat41

I will be 42 when baby born on January. Im so excited and nervous. This is my second, my daughter is 17.


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## Graceyous

Congratulations That's some age gap - she must be over the moon too? 
My other child will be going on 7 when her brother is born and she just can't wait.
How are you feeling other than excited and nervous?!
I think no matter what number we're having or how long its been it's always going to be a nervous enough time - I sometimes find myself having a mini-panic when I think about the upcoming birth and still feel amazement when saying oh my god I'm pregnant! :dohh: :haha:


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## Soanxious

I lost my baby on weekend.. will I ever get to have a baby with my OH :(


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## Driving280

Sorry, soAnxious. I have also had two miscarriages this year and now am pregnant again... fingers crossed. You might want to have some genetic tests run if you have so many miscarriages... hubby could have a balanced translocation. Or, it is just age...


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## Soanxious

His sperm is fine..he had testing many moons ago... before we met up.. it must be my crap eggs :(

congratulations again on the pregnancy x how far along are you?


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## Graceyous

Soanxious - I'm so so sorry for your loss - your having a really heartbreaking time and I know how hard it is to see any brightness amongst all the pain right now - but there's always hope and my thoughts are with you. 
:hugs:


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## zennie

Hi Ladies,
I am just turned 41 and am due baby #4 in 10 weeks time. I had 2 chemical pregnancies before this pregnancy. I started using progesterone cream after I was at a Breastfeeding seminar and it was recommended, particularly for older mums ttc. I cant say for sure that is what helped but I'm glad I tried it.
Congrats to all the mums on their bfp's and good luck to the mums ttc. Dont give up, hang on in there!! XXX.


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## Soanxious

What progesterone cream is good in Uk?


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## Canadianmom4

It is with great sadness, but I lost my angel. I was 10 weeks 3 days. I had 5 healthy pregnancies before this one so I know I can get pregnant and stay pregnant. I'm torn if I want to try again. I don't want to go through this pain again. I was unbearable and broke me. At the same time, I really want my rainbow baby.

Anyway ladies, take care and good luck to all of you!


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## Soanxious

Oh Canadianmom I am so very sorry to hear this sad news :hugs: take the time to grieve for this one and then think about another... don't feel rushed to try again..

I am so sorry hun.. there are plenty of us here and in other rooms if you ever need to talk... rest up and take time out for yourself xxx


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## Andypanda6570

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

I am so deeply sorry for your loss..I know it's devastating :cry::cry:

Sending Much Love XXXooo:hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## threebirds

So so sorry Canadianmom & Soanxious :hugs::hugs:

I know its so heartbreaking. I had 2 mmc last year before getting my 4th bfp in Jan. Im now 23 wks and keeping my fingers crossed. Don't give up hope.

xxx


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## Soanxious

Congratulations hun xx


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## Matin

Im 43 (will be 44 in Nov.) and gave birth to a healthy normal baby (#4 )this past January 2014. I typed a long post that I lost..ergggh so let see(trying to recall main points):

There were many extra tests... I was sent to a different ultrasound office this time for high-risk/AVM..We had to travel several towns over to take the MaterniT21 that my ob-gyn pushed pushed and pushed. :s I didnt want to take it at first but my husband helped convince me. I still have mixed feeling about the test. The dr. said it was better to be prepared just in case. OTOH we wouldntve aborted, and the gender info came extra early. For the others, it was at the U/s that we found out, this time it was just confirmation and the tech told me the M21 test was super accurate. 

This was my least enjoyable pregnancy because of all of the extra testing, hyper vigilance(I questioned every twinge, cramp, or even days when my morning sickness lessened etc), more worries about MC and birth defects etc. Youdve though I was 90 instead of just 43. I also worried that if something did go wrong now my older children would be witnesses too. Before, they were so young that they really wouldnt have understood. Looking back, maybe it helped me to 'keep it together more emotionally. We did wait quite a while(even after my dr said it was ok to announce) before telling them I was pg.

As far as the experience I felt a lot more fatigue during pg(could be partly from already having 3...or just the extra worrying ) ...During TTC, i tried lots of things(some new and some old since I started TTC at 31 yrs old and was already nervous about fertility): Cutting caffeine, using vitex, Soy Iso., pineapple(for post-ov.), Preseed lube and Softcups in addition to my old tricks of multivit, folic, more sleep, more water intake, grapefruit juice, Robitussin(pre-ov), baby aspirin .. yknow, the usual internet tips. I charted online w/o temps(just cervical mucus and ov. pains) like i did for the last 3. The temping first time drove me nuts. lolz

That said, Im glad that I didnt let the dismal stats discourage TTC. I also kept in my mind the many women (including my grandmothers and great aunts) that have/had healthy children during their 40s. Its good IMO to remember that what were doing isnt historically exceptional. I think it might be more heartbreaking nowadays because with the HPTs etc we know were pg sooner and so we dont have the old-time luxury of wondering if it was just a late period or what.

I think we just have to remain optimistic and continue trying(unless doctors have advised against it for some reason) I agree w/ threebirds to not give up hope. 

Best of luck to everyone!<3


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## Soanxious

Thank you ever so much Matin, I think that M21 test will take years to come here to UK... but thanks for that... I am also and have been on most of what you said.. I am on q10-prenatals-vit D3- prenatels- Folic acid 5mg - I have bought soy iso 100mg for next cycle. and used vitex last nov and dec. but my cycles are 28 days now. Im going to try the pineapple+core next cycle.. I was on aspirin for last 2 pregnancies made no difference so didnt take it this time.

I have my day 21 test results tomorrow and my clotting and antibody 2nd tests in 3 weeks time.. hoping to get pregnant next cycle. 11dpo and neg hpt. 

but you story has been excellent to hear.. thank you x


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