# Girls that give teen mums a bad name!! :@



## Char.due.jan

Urgh it really frustrates me. Today I went Into manchester and there were some teen mums around and it angers me at how awful some of them are. Smoking and blowing all the smoke into the pram it just knocks me sick!! If you want to smoke don't blow it into your innocent baby's face!


----------



## 18singlemom2b

there are so many out there it's ridiculous, i know lots of girls who popped their kids out and then within a week or two were out drinking on the weekend and have gone out and drank every weekend or just freeloaded off their parents the whole time without trying to help themselves, or continued to do drugs. :( it angers me.


----------



## Char.due.jan

Yep especially when people think of the stereotype when they see a pregnant teen. Teens like that don't deserve to be mums!


----------



## bumpy_j

i love this thread! keeping our babies was an incredibly brave and unselfish decision for us to make only if we follow it through and give it the best example, not just carry on being a teenager like we've just bought a pet that's needs a little TLC now and then. i used to smoke twenty roll ups a day for four years but gave up as soon as. so seeing a mum exposing her baby to this just makes me so mad, it's HARD to give up smoking, that's why the NHS spend hundreds of thousands on campaigns to discourage people from starting, but if you can't shelve something like an addiction to a little white stick that'll probably end up killing you prematurely, or at least try and keep it to an occasional minimum, how the hell can you cope with raising a baby :|


----------



## holly2234

Sad thing is theres plenty of older mums who do that too! Just need to go into town and see people doing it and they vary from being teen mums to older ones. But they only ever mention the teens who do it.


----------



## bumpy_j

yup, it's so weird how some 14 yr olds act more adult and have more responsibilities than some 40 yr olds.


----------



## mayb_baby

Thank God smoking mad me vomit (tried when I was like 14 and vomited) never touched them again Im 19 and my whole family smoke me and oh don't!

My cuz is 20 she smoke 20+ rollies a day, which is a joke and she knows it xoxo


----------



## rainbows_x

I used to smoke 20+ a day before I got pregnant with Ava.

I have cut down to one a day now, just by the pure fact I am at home with her all day, and would never smoke around her so never have the time :lol:

I am pretty proud of myself for cutting down so much, I know it would be best to quit all together, but cutting down to one a da is an achievement I think :D


----------



## mayb_baby

deffo an achievment xoxo


----------



## Char.due.jan

rainbows_x said:


> I used to smoke 20+ a day before I got pregnant with Ava.
> 
> I have cut down to one a day now, just by the pure fact I am at home with her all day, and would never smoke around her so never have the time :lol:
> 
> I am pretty proud of myself for cutting down so much, I know it would be best to quit all together, but cutting down to one a da is an achievement I think :D

Really good acheivement its good to see that most mummies are determined to quit or cut down if not for themselves but for LO :)


And a little off topic of the thread but what really gets on my nerves is people smoking at bus stops when I'm stood there and they can blatantly see I'm pregnant! I can still breathe the damn smoke in it doesn't matter whether its outside or not! I've had to move and stand away from the bus stop countless times now grr!


----------



## mayb_baby

I hate people smoking near me thankfully they follow the no smoking rule in my house or car although I know a few think Im EXTREME! I don't give a shit what they think xoxo


----------



## holly2234

I hate when people do that in bus stops too! When im working, if theres a function where a lot of us are going to one place at once, all of the workers stand there smoking when ive got nowhere else to go. I move then someone else starts!


----------



## Char.due.jan

It really pisses me off lol! It pissed me off before I was pregnant nevermind now!! Xx


----------



## rainbows_x

Char.due.jan said:


> rainbows_x said:
> 
> 
> I used to smoke 20+ a day before I got pregnant with Ava.
> 
> I have cut down to one a day now, just by the pure fact I am at home with her all day, and would never smoke around her so never have the time :lol:
> 
> I am pretty proud of myself for cutting down so much, I know it would be best to quit all together, but cutting down to one a da is an achievement I think :D
> 
> Really good acheivement its good to see that most mummies are determined to quit or cut down if not for themselves but for LO :)
> 
> 
> And a little off topic of the thread but what really gets on my nerves is people smoking at bus stops when I'm stood there and they can blatantly see I'm pregnant! I can still breathe the damn smoke in it doesn't matter whether its outside or not! I've had to move and stand away from the bus stop countless times now grr!Click to expand...

That pisses me off too!
We walked past the bus stop the other day, woman smokng in the bus stop, which isn't even allowed with her toddler right next to her and breathed it right near Ava!

If I were to smoke near Ava it would be with the rain cover up, and somone else pushing her.


----------



## Char.due.jan

Some people are really inconsiderate but at times I think they're just thick! Xx


----------



## twinmummy06

i saw a girl the other day i was pregnant alongside when we were both still considered teens mums, who is pregnant with #2. shes like 30-ish weeks and she was outside the hospital waiting for her antenatal appointment, smoking. i just wanted to walk up to her and slap her one! the fact that she doesnt even look after the first kid, and hands it off to relatives or its father just makes me angrier :nope:


----------



## amandakelley

Ugh! OH and I live with his wacko step-grandmother and her and her boyfriend smoke in the house. It's disgusting! Justen has told her to stop so many times and just go outside and smoke, and she knows it bothers me. But she still does it! So now my clothes smell like smoke and all my things. It's absolutely disgusting! 

OH smokes, but he smokes outside and he's quitting on our wedding day. 

I hate going to places and having to smell myself smelling of smoke! I hate the smell and I'm constantly sneezing in this house because of how badly it messes with my nose. She blames it on the animals, but its not! I've been with animals all my life and I've never had bad allergies. 

I'm so glad our deadline we've made up to be out of here is January. I can't stand to be here anymore. Can't wait to find an apartment back in OH and I's city.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

I smoke occasionally :shrug:.
I next to never smoke around Joshua - at uni I have one or two and I know I won't be back near Josh for around 2 hours and at work in my break I occasionally have one.
If I am out and smoke with Joshua with me, I park his pram facing the opposite way of the wind so it won't blow into him, put his rain cover up and before I go near the pram or take the cover off I use handwash on my hands, chewing gum and mints on my mouth, spray myself with deodrant and body spray etc. But I do admit this only happens once in a blue moon.

I'm a casual smoker, I would never class myself as addicted, seeing as I can go weeks/months without one no bother, I even left 5 on a train the other day and stopped for a week because 'i couldn't be bothered with them anymore' lol.

Tbh, right now I am only doing it because I'm sure I have PND, major depressive disorder and BDD, as well as failing at university :/


----------



## mayb_baby

rubixcyoob. said:


> I smoke occasionally :shrug:.
> I next to never smoke around Joshua - at uni I have one or two and I know I won't be back near Josh for around 2 hours and at work in my break I occasionally have one.
> If I am out and smoke with Joshua with me, I park his pram facing the opposite way of the wind so it won't blow into him, put his rain cover up and before I go near the pram or take the cover off I use handwash on my hands, chewing gum and mints on my mouth, spray myself with deodrant and body spray etc. But I do admit this only happens once in a blue moon.
> 
> I'm a casual smoker, I would never class myself as addicted, seeing as I can go weeks/months without one no bother, I even left 5 on a train the other day and stopped for a week because 'i couldn't be bothered with them anymore' lol.
> 
> Tbh, right now I am only doing it because I'm sure I have PND, major depressive disorder and BDD, as well as failing at university :/

:hugs::hugs: Hope you feel better, have you gone to you'r GP I was depressed after my MC in January but I went walking on my own to clear my head as I was failing my ALevels but after a month or so of routine (heading out for a walk on my own to get air/space) I felt alot better and did alright B,C,C in my ALevels.

Would you not just give them up if you can cause casual smoking is how most people start and you seem to have alot of control with it atm 
xxx


----------



## Yazz_n_bump

My SIL smokes and she's pregerant, :/ 
She gave up and then claims its okay for her to smoke because she only smokes two-three joints in the evening, yes she smokes weed while pregnant! Which pisses me off because she's a hypcrite as she says its disugsting to see other pegnant ladies smoke, and she nearly lost her baby due to having a ovary & tube out in the first 12 weeks so i think it's horrible!!


----------



## bumpy_j

rainbows_x said:


> I used to smoke 20+ a day before I got pregnant with Ava.
> 
> I have cut down to one a day now, just by the pure fact I am at home with her all day, and would never smoke around her so never have the time :lol:
> 
> I am pretty proud of myself for cutting down so much, I know it would be best to quit all together, but cutting down to one a da is an achievement I think :D

that is well good congratulations :happydance:


----------



## bumpy_j

rubixcyoob. said:


> I smoke occasionally :shrug:.
> I next to never smoke around Joshua - at uni I have one or two and I know I won't be back near Josh for around 2 hours and at work in my break I occasionally have one.
> If I am out and smoke with Joshua with me, I park his pram facing the opposite way of the wind so it won't blow into him, put his rain cover up and before I go near the pram or take the cover off I use handwash on my hands, chewing gum and mints on my mouth, spray myself with deodrant and body spray etc. But I do admit this only happens once in a blue moon.
> 
> I'm a casual smoker, I would never class myself as addicted, seeing as I can go weeks/months without one no bother, I even left 5 on a train the other day and stopped for a week because 'i couldn't be bothered with them anymore' lol.
> 
> Tbh, right now I am only doing it because I'm sure I have PND, major depressive disorder and BDD, as well as failing at university :/

hope things will get better bub that sounds like a right handful :( sorry if i seemed too angry with my post before aha - tbh i will probably socially smoke on occasion when i'm not around my LO because i've still got heavy cravings most days but i'll never be a 'smoker' again if i can help it, it's not really the mums that make me so riled it's the ones that keep on at twenty a day when they're pregnant, or smoke in the same room as their LO especially the room they sleep in. stay positive about uni it'll be worth it even if you just about scrape through you've still done something pretty amazing :)


----------



## amygwen

rubixcyoob. said:


> I smoke occasionally :shrug:.
> I next to never smoke around Joshua - at uni I have one or two and I know I won't be back near Josh for around 2 hours and at work in my break I occasionally have one.
> If I am out and smoke with Joshua with me, I park his pram facing the opposite way of the wind so it won't blow into him, put his rain cover up and before I go near the pram or take the cover off I use handwash on my hands, chewing gum and mints on my mouth, spray myself with deodrant and body spray etc. But I do admit this only happens once in a blue moon.
> 
> I'm a casual smoker, I would never class myself as addicted, seeing as I can go weeks/months without one no bother, I even left 5 on a train the other day and stopped for a week because 'i couldn't be bothered with them anymore' lol.
> 
> Tbh, right now I am only doing it because I'm sure I have PND, major depressive disorder and BDD, as well as failing at university :/


Awwwwwww hun I'm sorry :hugs: :hugs:
I hope things get better for you! I'm always here if you need to talk!


----------



## rubixcyoob.

Thanks girls :hugs:
I am going to quit, but before I do I'm going to get myself sorted. I'm going to talk to my GP about being depressed and hopefully get tablets, then I'm going to start with my excercise again, zumba, swimming and walks with LO. Once I'm not stressed I can. Right now its a stress reliever more than anything. A disgusting, horrible, killer of a stress reliever albeit.

I can't wait to be "straightedge" as my former scene/emo self would call it. Not drinking or smoking :)


----------



## bumpy_j

haha i remember emo and being all 'i'm straight edged maaaan', good luck with it all you seem like you have a great plan drawn up and hope it gets easier for you :)


----------



## barrowland

theres a girl i used to go to school with whos made me angry because she makes teen mothers look terrible.
she has the most beautiful little boy, he really is a stunner and she lived in a flat on her own but decided it was too hard after recking the flat and moved back into her parents where she decided her parents can do all the work and look fter her son because she wants to go out and drink all the time. her facebook page has new pictures everyday of her going out and getting drunk and falling all over the place. she doesnt let FOB see their son unless her parents are there and got an injunction against him, im friends with FOB and hes a lovely person and loves his son she only got the injunction because he said he didnt want one of the million boys she braught home around his son.
shes a disgrace and her poor little boy is handed round everyone instead of her looking after him herself she makes me so angry. because of her people who i went to school with think anyone who gets pregnant is going to fail!
it annoys me more that she found out i was pregnant and tries to give me advice!!!
the same with my ex's gf, shes just had a lovely boy and wondered why he was so small when she had him but she was out doing wizz and drinking when she was pregnant!! and two weeks after he was born she was out drinking (which is fair if its a one off and not constant) but has been out every other weekend leaving her son with her mother!! 
sorry for the rant but these girls just make me so angry


----------



## Youngling

I smoke occasionaly now, I would say im a social smoker.
I never smoke around jack though, would never do that to him
x


----------



## HannahGraceee

smoking and pushchair a buggy is my pet peeeeev! 

I smoke and manage not to smoke near ava, so its not that hard :dohh: 

&& And i donno, how these girls go out the week after, avas 19 months and ive only been out once :rofl: i miss her far to much


----------



## Horse&Heart<3

Since I got pregnant a bunch of girls younger than me have messaged me asking advice, it's really hard to see how many in my area there really are and most of them aren't the best spokes women for teenage mom's. I get kind of angry with them because they are all trying to get pregnant and to me that is like throwing your life away. I don't regret getting pregnant, I love my son to death and I can't wait to meet him. But I would of loved to of had him when I was financially stable and 100% ready. And to see these girls trying to get pregnant, and live a life as a normal teenager, doing weed and drinking alcohol while their baby is inside them. It's shocking. And it's scary that my son might be going to school with these other babies when they get older, and their mothers don't exactly seem like good influences. I've been doing my best to grow up and be ready to become a mom because I want my son to be raised in the most loving and stable enviroment as possible. I just wish if these girls were so desperate to become a mother, they would be just as desperate to be a good mother.

I hear of a bunch of different reasons why they wanted to get pregnant, to keep the dad around, to make the dad grow up and want to be with them forever, to be seen as an adult, and some just said they thought it would be fun. I had to give away my whole college experience cause I am pregnant but I did it because my son is more important to me than anything in this world. I just hope these girls will feel the same about their babies.


----------



## samface182

i smoke. not around aiden though. i would never smoke while pushing the buggy, it looks horrible x


----------



## annawrigley

bumpy_j said:


> i love this thread! keeping our babies was an incredibly brave and unselfish decision for us to make only if we follow it through and give it the best example, not just carry on being a teenager like we've just bought a pet that's needs a little TLC now and then. i used to smoke twenty roll ups a day for four years but gave up as soon as. so seeing a mum exposing her baby to this just makes me so mad, it's HARD to give up smoking, that's why the NHS spend hundreds of thousands on campaigns to discourage people from starting, *but if you can't shelve something like an addiction to a little white stick that'll probably end up killing you prematurely, or at least try and keep it to an occasional minimum, how the hell can you cope with raising a baby *

Excuse me? I smoke, does that mean i'm incapable of raising my child?

Maybe wait until you've experienced motherhood before casting judgements on other people ;) How do you know you wont smoke after you've had your LO? I gave up when I was pregnant and was adamant I wouldnt start again, but hey, here I am.

Threads like this just annoy me tbh. And none of you know the situations these 'terrible mothers who don't deserve children' are in. If you dont know the full story keep out and dont judge. Isnt that what we hate other people doing to us, for being teen mums? :shrug:


----------



## rainbows_x

annawrigley said:


> bumpy_j said:
> 
> 
> i love this thread! keeping our babies was an incredibly brave and unselfish decision for us to make only if we follow it through and give it the best example, not just carry on being a teenager like we've just bought a pet that's needs a little TLC now and then. i used to smoke twenty roll ups a day for four years but gave up as soon as. so seeing a mum exposing her baby to this just makes me so mad, it's HARD to give up smoking, that's why the NHS spend hundreds of thousands on campaigns to discourage people from starting, *but if you can't shelve something like an addiction to a little white stick that'll probably end up killing you prematurely, or at least try and keep it to an occasional minimum, how the hell can you cope with raising a baby *
> 
> Excuse me? I smoke, does that mean i'm incapable of raising my child?
> 
> Maybe wait until you've experienced motherhood before casting judgements on other people ;) How do you know you wont smoke after you've had your LO? I gave up when I was pregnant and was adamant I wouldnt start again, but hey, here I am.
> 
> Threads like this just annoy me tbh. And none of you know the situations these 'terrible mothers who don't deserve children' are in. If you dont know the full story keep out and dont judge. Isnt that what we hate other people doing to us, for being teen mums? :shrug:Click to expand...

Totally agree!

I smoke, and it IS an addiction that is bloody hard to quit.
I still manage to raise my healthy beautifull baby.!


----------



## rockys-mumma

I smoke too, and i smoke when im out pushing LO in his buggy too. He faces away from me and we are generally walking when I'm smoking anyway so the wind is against us so the smoke goes nowhere near him anyway. I dont care if people think its discusting. Its not affecting him as its not near him and just because i smoke doesn't make me a good parent! Its not like I cannot afford to, its not something I like to do but still, I do and my son is not affected. He doesn't go without and his health isn't affected. I dont care if i look like a trampy mum who doesn't care for her baby just because i might be seen with a fag in my hand and look young. It is a stereotype. Just like young mums get stereotyped so i thought everyone would be more understanding in here!

I'm a great mum, my baby has everything he wants, needs and more. He's healthy and isn't around 2nd hand smoke etc. If someone came over and had a go or wanted 'to slap me' because i was smoking they would be the one getting a mouthful!


----------



## annawrigley

I smoke pushing the pushchair too :shrug:

Plus i doubt the mums you saw were purposefully blowing smoke directly into their babies' faces. I dont think ANY mother would do that..


----------



## Char.due.jan

annawrigley said:


> I smoke pushing the pushchair too :shrug:
> 
> Plus i doubt the mums you saw were purposefully blowing smoke directly into their babies' faces. I dont think ANY mother would do that..

A baby will inhale smoke if a mother is pushing a forward facing pram. When I walk past people who are smoking and I can smell it I'm breathing it in.. I wouldn't be able to smell it if not.

A bit off topic, but a lady was smoking in front of the hospital yesterday when signs were clearly put all over saying you could not smoke outside the hospital and had to use the designated smoking shelter provided because even though it's outside doesn't mean the chemicals disintigrate (sp?) into the air and aren't harmful. I told the woman it wasn't allowed and she said it was, I directed her to the sign and told her she might consider learning how to read. 

I don't believe in smoking while anywhere near babies or children outside or not but I suppose everyone has their own views on smoking.. I myself have a passionate hate for it so I understand why some people get offended when I speak about it. But it is a disgusting habit and my views on that will never change. And it's funny because all the way through school every single one of my friends smoked and I didn't that's maybe why I detest it so much because I came home smelling of an ash tray when I didn't smoke and yes they were smoking outside!


----------



## 17thy

My sister in law is 36 weeks pregnant and has been smoking a pack a day since becoming pregnant. She says she can't quit "because the baby would have withdrawls." :rolleyes: it pisses me off!


----------



## Char.due.jan

17thy said:


> My sister in law is 36 weeks pregnant and has been smoking a pack a day since becoming pregnant. She says she can't quit "because the baby would have withdrawls." :rolleyes: it pisses me off!

It's better for 'the baby to have withdrawals' than problems due to smoking :/ 

And btw your LO is ADORABLE :flower: x


----------



## rainbows_x

Char.due.jan said:


> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> I smoke pushing the pushchair too :shrug:
> 
> Plus i doubt the mums you saw were purposefully blowing smoke directly into their babies' faces. I dont think ANY mother would do that..
> 
> A baby will inhale smoke if a mother is pushing a forward facing pram. When I walk past people who are smoking and I can smell it I'm breathing it in.. I wouldn't be able to smell it if not.
> 
> A bit off topic, but a lady was smoking in front of the hospital yesterday when signs were clearly put all over saying you could not smoke outside the hospital and had to use the designated smoking shelter provided because even though it's outside doesn't mean the chemicals disintigrate (sp?) into the air and aren't harmful. I told the woman it wasn't allowed and she said it was, I directed her to the sign and told her she might consider learning how to read.
> 
> I don't believe in smoking while anywhere near babies or children outside or not but I suppose everyone has their own views on smoking.. I myself have a passionate hate for it so I understand why some people get offended when I speak about it. But it is a disgusting habit and my views on that will never change. And it's funny because all the way through school every single one of my friends smoked and I didn't that's maybe why I detest it so much because I came home smelling of an ash tray when I didn't smoke and yes they were smoking outside!Click to expand...

Not meaning to sound rude but have you ever smoked?
I have smoked since I was 13, so 7 years, it is extremely addictive, you can't give up at a drop of a hat, and someone who has never smoked doesn't have a clue how hard it is to quit.

Yeah it's a disgusting habit, loads of things are, but it won't stop people doing it! Like I said, if I smoke whilst out with Ava we put her hood up (it covers the whole thing so you can't see her) so she doesn't inhale ANY smoke.

Like Anna said, it's not like anyone would actually blow smoke into their babies face intentionally.


----------



## Char.due.jan

rainbows_x said:


> Char.due.jan said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> I smoke pushing the pushchair too :shrug:
> 
> Plus i doubt the mums you saw were purposefully blowing smoke directly into their babies' faces. I dont think ANY mother would do that..
> 
> A baby will inhale smoke if a mother is pushing a forward facing pram. When I walk past people who are smoking and I can smell it I'm breathing it in.. I wouldn't be able to smell it if not.
> 
> A bit off topic, but a lady was smoking in front of the hospital yesterday when signs were clearly put all over saying you could not smoke outside the hospital and had to use the designated smoking shelter provided because even though it's outside doesn't mean the chemicals disintigrate (sp?) into the air and aren't harmful. I told the woman it wasn't allowed and she said it was, I directed her to the sign and told her she might consider learning how to read.
> 
> I don't believe in smoking while anywhere near babies or children outside or not but I suppose everyone has their own views on smoking.. I myself have a passionate hate for it so I understand why some people get offended when I speak about it. But it is a disgusting habit and my views on that will never change. And it's funny because all the way through school every single one of my friends smoked and I didn't that's maybe why I detest it so much because I came home smelling of an ash tray when I didn't smoke and yes they were smoking outside!Click to expand...
> 
> Not meaning to sound rude but have you ever smoked?
> I have smoked since I was 13, so 7 years, it is extremely addictive, you can't give up at a drop of a hat, and someone who has never smoked doesn't have a clue how hard it is to quit.
> 
> Yeah it's a disgusting habit, loads of things are, but it won't stop people doing it! Like I said, if I smoke whilst out with Ava we put her hood up (it covers the whole thing so you can't see her) so she doesn't inhale ANY smoke.
> 
> Like Anna said, it's not like anyone would actually blow smoke into their babies face intentionally.Click to expand...

I smoked yes, for a very short while when I was around 13.. and then realised what an immature idiot I was being so stopped (obviously I wasn't addicted) and the main thing about quitting smoking is willpower there are aids to help with the actual physical demands of smoking, the rest is mental. My friends gran quit smoking at the drop of a hat when she found out her husband had cancer, from smoking and she was around 80 and had been smoking since a teenager! Also my dad quit smoking with no quit smoking aids at all after around 30 years smoking. It isn't impossible, it may not be easy for some people but it most definately isn't impossible. 

Some people just don't realise how damaging smoking can be, my auntie was diagnosed with lung cancer earlier in the year caused by smoking, she quit when she was 20 and she's 50 now.. so it can have long term effects too. And some people do not realise passive smoking is actually worse than smoking itself.. but obviously you do both when you do smoke. 

If i did smoke I'd rather not take the risk and smoke anywhere near my baby indoors or outdoors.. but that's just my opinion.


----------



## rainbows_x

Char.due.jan said:


> rainbows_x said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Char.due.jan said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> I smoke pushing the pushchair too :shrug:
> 
> Plus i doubt the mums you saw were purposefully blowing smoke directly into their babies' faces. I dont think ANY mother would do that..
> 
> A baby will inhale smoke if a mother is pushing a forward facing pram. When I walk past people who are smoking and I can smell it I'm breathing it in.. I wouldn't be able to smell it if not.
> 
> A bit off topic, but a lady was smoking in front of the hospital yesterday when signs were clearly put all over saying you could not smoke outside the hospital and had to use the designated smoking shelter provided because even though it's outside doesn't mean the chemicals disintigrate (sp?) into the air and aren't harmful. I told the woman it wasn't allowed and she said it was, I directed her to the sign and told her she might consider learning how to read.
> 
> I don't believe in smoking while anywhere near babies or children outside or not but I suppose everyone has their own views on smoking.. I myself have a passionate hate for it so I understand why some people get offended when I speak about it. But it is a disgusting habit and my views on that will never change. And it's funny because all the way through school every single one of my friends smoked and I didn't that's maybe why I detest it so much because I came home smelling of an ash tray when I didn't smoke and yes they were smoking outside!Click to expand...
> 
> Not meaning to sound rude but have you ever smoked?
> I have smoked since I was 13, so 7 years, it is extremely addictive, you can't give up at a drop of a hat, and someone who has never smoked doesn't have a clue how hard it is to quit.
> 
> Yeah it's a disgusting habit, loads of things are, but it won't stop people doing it! Like I said, if I smoke whilst out with Ava we put her hood up (it covers the whole thing so you can't see her) so she doesn't inhale ANY smoke.
> 
> Like Anna said, it's not like anyone would actually blow smoke into their babies face intentionally.Click to expand...
> 
> I smoked yes, for a very short while when I was around 13.. and then realised what an immature idiot I was being so stopped (obviously I wasn't addicted) and the main thing about quitting smoking is willpower there are aids to help with the actual physical demands of smoking, the rest is mental. My friends gran quit smoking at the drop of a hat when she found out her husband had cancer, from smoking and she was around 80 and had been smoking since a teenager! Also my dad quit smoking with no quit smoking aids at all after around 30 years smoking. It isn't impossible, it may not be easy for some people but it most definately isn't impossible.
> 
> Some people just don't realise how damaging smoking can be, my auntie was diagnosed with lung cancer earlier in the year caused by smoking, she quit when she was 20 and she's 50 now.. so it can have long term effects too. And some people do not realise passive smoking is actually worse than smoking itself.. but obviously you do both when you do smoke.
> 
> If i did smoke I'd rather not take the risk and smoke anywhere near my baby indoors or outdoors.. but that's just my opinion.Click to expand...

So I am an immature idiot for smoking?!

I started smoking due to stress, not just for the fun of it. I didn't say it was impossible, I said it was hard. 
That's other people's experiences, everyone is different, some people have very differnet lives, and smoking one of a few joys they have in their lives.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

You like to piss folk off huh?

Smoke, don't smoke, just don't intentionally harm your baby's health.

I don't drink any alcohol at all nor do I wish to ever again, but I smoke. Would you rather it was the other way about?

Not everyone does what you believe they should, every circumstance is different and won't relate to some event or someone you know. Get over it and stop saying people are bad mothers for smoking.


----------



## samface182

Char.due.jan said:


> rainbows_x said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Char.due.jan said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> I smoke pushing the pushchair too :shrug:
> 
> Plus i doubt the mums you saw were purposefully blowing smoke directly into their babies' faces. I dont think ANY mother would do that..
> 
> A baby will inhale smoke if a mother is pushing a forward facing pram. When I walk past people who are smoking and I can smell it I'm breathing it in.. I wouldn't be able to smell it if not.
> 
> A bit off topic, but a lady was smoking in front of the hospital yesterday when signs were clearly put all over saying you could not smoke outside the hospital and had to use the designated smoking shelter provided because even though it's outside doesn't mean the chemicals disintigrate (sp?) into the air and aren't harmful. I told the woman it wasn't allowed and she said it was, I directed her to the sign and told her she might consider learning how to read.
> 
> I don't believe in smoking while anywhere near babies or children outside or not but I suppose everyone has their own views on smoking.. I myself have a passionate hate for it so I understand why some people get offended when I speak about it. But it is a disgusting habit and my views on that will never change. And it's funny because all the way through school every single one of my friends smoked and I didn't that's maybe why I detest it so much because I came home smelling of an ash tray when I didn't smoke and yes they were smoking outside!Click to expand...
> 
> Not meaning to sound rude but have you ever smoked?
> I have smoked since I was 13, so 7 years, it is extremely addictive, you can't give up at a drop of a hat, and someone who has never smoked doesn't have a clue how hard it is to quit.
> 
> Yeah it's a disgusting habit, loads of things are, but it won't stop people doing it! Like I said, if I smoke whilst out with Ava we put her hood up (it covers the whole thing so you can't see her) so she doesn't inhale ANY smoke.
> 
> Like Anna said, it's not like anyone would actually blow smoke into their babies face intentionally.Click to expand...
> 
> I smoked yes, for a very short while when I was around 13.. and then realised what an immature idiot I was being so stopped (obviously I wasn't addicted) and the main thing about quitting smoking is willpower there are aids to help with the actual physical demands of smoking, the rest is mental. My friends gran quit smoking at the drop of a hat when she found out her husband had cancer, from smoking and she was around 80 and had been smoking since a teenager! Also my dad quit smoking with no quit smoking aids at all after around 30 years smoking. It isn't impossible, it may not be easy for some people but it most definately isn't impossible.
> 
> Some people just don't realise how damaging smoking can be, my auntie was diagnosed with lung cancer earlier in the year caused by smoking, she quit when she was 20 and she's 50 now.. so it can have long term effects too. And some people do not realise passive smoking is actually worse than smoking itself.. but obviously you do both when you do smoke.
> 
> If i did smoke I'd rather not take the risk and smoke anywhere near my baby indoors or outdoors.. but that's just my opinion.Click to expand...

physical demands or mental. it's still hard to quit! :dohh:


----------



## annawrigley

Char.due.jan said:


> rainbows_x said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Char.due.jan said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> I smoke pushing the pushchair too :shrug:
> 
> Plus i doubt the mums you saw were purposefully blowing smoke directly into their babies' faces. I dont think ANY mother would do that..
> 
> A baby will inhale smoke if a mother is pushing a forward facing pram. When I walk past people who are smoking and I can smell it I'm breathing it in.. I wouldn't be able to smell it if not.
> 
> A bit off topic, but a lady was smoking in front of the hospital yesterday when signs were clearly put all over saying you could not smoke outside the hospital and had to use the designated smoking shelter provided because even though it's outside doesn't mean the chemicals disintigrate (sp?) into the air and aren't harmful. I told the woman it wasn't allowed and she said it was, I directed her to the sign and told her she might consider learning how to read.
> 
> I don't believe in smoking while anywhere near babies or children outside or not but I suppose everyone has their own views on smoking.. I myself have a passionate hate for it so I understand why some people get offended when I speak about it. But it is a disgusting habit and my views on that will never change. And it's funny because all the way through school every single one of my friends smoked and I didn't that's maybe why I detest it so much because I came home smelling of an ash tray when I didn't smoke and yes they were smoking outside!Click to expand...
> 
> Not meaning to sound rude but have you ever smoked?
> I have smoked since I was 13, so 7 years, it is extremely addictive, you can't give up at a drop of a hat, and someone who has never smoked doesn't have a clue how hard it is to quit.
> 
> Yeah it's a disgusting habit, loads of things are, but it won't stop people doing it! Like I said, if I smoke whilst out with Ava we put her hood up (it covers the whole thing so you can't see her) so she doesn't inhale ANY smoke.
> 
> Like Anna said, it's not like anyone would actually blow smoke into their babies face intentionally.Click to expand...
> 
> I smoked yes, for a very short while when I was around 13.. and then realised what an immature idiot I was being so stopped (obviously I wasn't addicted) and the main thing about quitting smoking is willpower there are aids to help with the actual physical demands of smoking, the rest is mental. My friends gran quit smoking at the drop of a hat when she found out her husband had cancer, from smoking and she was around 80 and had been smoking since a teenager! Also my dad quit smoking with no quit smoking aids at all after around 30 years smoking. It isn't impossible, it may not be easy for some people but it most definately isn't impossible.
> 
> Some people just don't realise how damaging smoking can be, my auntie was diagnosed with lung cancer earlier in the year caused by smoking, she quit when she was 20 and she's 50 now.. so it can have long term effects too. And some people do not realise passive smoking is actually worse than smoking itself.. but obviously you do both when you do smoke.
> 
> If i did smoke I'd rather not take the risk and smoke anywhere near my baby indoors or outdoors.. but that's just my opinion.Click to expand...

Wow it must be great being so perfect! :winkwink:
Thanks for all the info, you must be a doctor. I did actually realise you can get lung cancer from smoking and that it *can* have long-term effects, it says so on the packets :) very informative.
You just said you werent addicted so how would you have a clue what its like to try quitting. :wacko:
Nice little stories you have there, but none of them are your personal experience, and like i said its very easy to cast judgement when looking in from the outside.


----------



## mum#1

wow, what an insensitive cow. So what, people smoke. i bet half the people on bnb would smoke, not just in the teen section. 
I smoke. I'm home all day with my son. When he goes to sleep, thats my time, and if i want to smoke in my time, I will. There's no way he will inhale that.
Not to mention everyone said they stopped smoking while pregnant. 
The people who still smoke while pregnant are silly, but they may have their reasons. Don't judge someone until you have walked in their shoes.
I agree with Anna, i don't think ANY one would intentionally blow smoke in their child's face. I'm sure if they realized they were doing so, they would be upset and sorry.


----------



## samface182

i stopped the day i found out i was pregnant. i said i wouldn't go back once he was here, but i did. i don't feel bad for smoking again, because i never do it near him. just because people smoke, it doesn't make them a bad mother and as anna said, no mother would blow smoke in a child's face


----------



## Tanara

_Personally I think Opinions are like assholes everyone's got one. 

But this is the facking internet, We all know what we tell each other, you know about me what i let you know. I guarantee there are girls on this forum who do smoke threw their pregnancy, I know a few people who smoke and are pregnant. Why the hell is everyone concerned with what other people do. The way i see it, Thats not my kid, its not my body and its not my problem, so honestly why should I make it. 

Too all of you who don't smoke good job thats awesome, To all of you who do I understand your struggle and you are all great moms, dont let anyone talk you down cause they think they are better! Addiction is addiction no matter what your addicted to, Addiction is not an easy thing to beat or they wouldn't have rehabs. If you have never been faced with addiction then dont preach, you dont understand. 
_


----------



## x__amour

I don't think smoking affects how you are a mother in any way shape or form. My mother has smoked since she was 14 and she raised 6 beautiful children. I don't smoke but I know how hard it is seeing my mom trying to quit. That's just my 2 cents.


----------



## RhiLee

Okay im just gunna jump in here i havnt read all of it just the first and last page. I agree with Char.Due.Jan it sickens me how people continue to smoke and drink and do drugs!! i know a girl who had her baby boy and not even a year later she isnt allowed to look after her baby because she does drugs and she drinks all the time!!! she is so lucky to be able to fall pregnant in the first place but then to not even care or acknowledge she has a beautiful son!! oh and shes in jail atm... it makes so angry!! and she did all of this while pregnant so im pretty sure its this kind of people that give teen mums a bad name not people that smoke and she looks ratty and gross and she doesnt clean her son up!!!


----------



## rubixcyoob.

RhiLee, unless you have walked this girls shoes you have no idea what lead her to end up living the life she is. Not everyone has it easy. Not everyone makes good choices. But who are you too judge?
Walk a day in someone elses shoes before you decide to cut them up into little pieces on your moral disection table.

Sure, it doesn't seem on the fact of it like she is a good mother, but there could be any number of reasons behind that, none of which you will probably ever fall privy too.

I smoke. Get the fuck over it. I am not a bad mother. My son wants for nothing. I do not smoke infront of him. I would hang anyone who did smoke a fag right there beside him. I take pride in mine and my sons appearance. I am not on benefits. I am a law student. I work part time. My son is happy, cared for and loved. My son has always put on weight - even in the hospital he gained weight being exclusively BF'd, which is almost unheard of. Now tell me, would you say I am a shit mother because I smoke?


----------



## Tanara

_Amy dont let them get under your skin, I love how the people who keep cutting the girls who smoke down dont have kids, and think they can sit here (on the internet non the less) and cut down parenting. Its they're own fears and imperfections making there way out. Your son is absolutely handsome, and you are a great mom. Smoking does not effect your parenting in one way.  xxxx _


----------



## RhiLee

I never said people who JUST smoke are bad mothers i said people like the girl i just explained are bad mothers, you sound like an excellent mother you should be very proud. Ye that was her life before she fell pregnant when she found out she could have tried and i said TRIED! to stop. but she didnt she continued like nothing new had happened and that is what a bad mother is when she doesnt even care!! I have tried and tried to have a baby but nothing and to here people fall pregnant just like that and then throw it down the drain like being a mother is nothing!! 
So no you are not a bad mother i do not believe anyone on here is a bad mother if you were you wouldnt be on here you'd be out there getting high and whtever.


----------



## bumpy_j

annawrigley said:


> bumpy_j said:
> 
> 
> i love this thread! keeping our babies was an incredibly brave and unselfish decision for us to make only if we follow it through and give it the best example, not just carry on being a teenager like we've just bought a pet that's needs a little TLC now and then. i used to smoke twenty roll ups a day for four years but gave up as soon as. so seeing a mum exposing her baby to this just makes me so mad, it's HARD to give up smoking, that's why the NHS spend hundreds of thousands on campaigns to discourage people from starting, *but if you can't shelve something like an addiction to a little white stick that'll probably end up killing you prematurely, or at least try and keep it to an occasional minimum, how the hell can you cope with raising a baby *
> 
> Excuse me? I smoke, does that mean i'm incapable of raising my child?
> 
> Maybe wait until you've experienced motherhood before casting judgements on other people ;) How do you know you wont smoke after you've had your LO? I gave up when I was pregnant and was adamant I wouldnt start again, but hey, here I am.
> 
> Threads like this just annoy me tbh. And none of you know the situations these 'terrible mothers who don't deserve children' are in. If you dont know the full story keep out and dont judge. Isnt that what we hate other people doing to us, for being teen mums? :shrug:Click to expand...

I said in my post afterwards that the problem I had directly went with pregnant smokers and mothers who smoke in the same room as their kids - because of the health risk! And I also said I'd probably still smoke on occasion because I still get cravings everyday - it's very hard to quit smoking and I know it is because i've done it but there's smoking a couple of cigarettes a day and theres smoking like a chimney - and I believe the *latter* IS damaging if you have kids - if you need to smoke thirty/forty a day then you have a problem and you're in denial if you think otherwise but whether you do anything about it if your business. if you use it as the odd stress reliever then you don't. I'm not trying to offend anyone this is just how I feel and as an ex smoker I believe I deserve an opinion on this (i'm not judging individuals on here as I haven't doubted anyones parenting ability). I mean if my parents were heavy smokers when I was younger I know I would've hated it because the dangers of smoking are rammed down our throats at school and I would've been terrified something would happen to my parents because of smoking. I do have sympathy for smoking as an addiction but it's not a habit to be proud of! And like I said it's a very specific small group of people I'm griping at - the ones that smoke like normal during pregnancy and the ones that don't assess their second hand smoke around their little one. Sorry if I seemed brash :) i'm not going to tell you you don't deserve a kid cause you smoke because that would be ridiculous and untrue but that's just MY personal opinion and it's nothing personal towards anyone here.


----------



## bumpy_j

This thread got too riled up for my liking now I feel bad :(


----------



## Marzipan_girl

Those who are saying there is nothing wrong with smoking...it's their time, doesn't affect their LOs, it's an addiction etc...
I'm just curious...
if I said I had a cocaine addiction, would you judge me? I only do it when LO is asleep...obviously theres no such thing as passive cocaine lol so it's not affecting his health...and i'm addicted. Can I defend myself here on the same basis that smokers are or not really? It's my life and health etc?
I don't see how smokers can say theres nothing wrong with it...I would never defend myself taking cocaine when i'm a mother.
I know it's different...one is a class A illegal drug and one isn't but where do you draw the line? One could say that smoking is more harmful to a baby than snorting coke...what with the passive smoking fact and all...

This is more hypothetical than anything! And i'm genuinely curious to hear what you think--i'm not having a dig or anything! I used to have a brief problem with coke but I gave up when I was pregnant...it was HARD...and now even though i'm not pregnant I could never condone it again...


----------



## bumpy_j

Marzipan_girl said:


> Those who are saying there is nothing wrong with smoking...it's their time, doesn't affect their LOs, it's an addiction etc...
> I'm just curious...
> if I said I had a cocaine addiction, would you judge me? I only do it when LO is asleep...obviously theres no such thing as passive cocaine lol so it's not affecting his health...and i'm addicted. Can I defend myself here on the same basis that smokers are or not really? It's my life and health etc?
> I don't see how smokers can say theres nothing wrong with it...I would never defend myself taking cocaine when i'm a mother.
> I know it's different...one is a class A illegal drug and one isn't but where do you draw the line? One could say that smoking is more harmful to a baby than snorting coke...what with the passive smoking fact and all...
> 
> This is more hypothetical than anything! And i'm genuinely curious to hear what you think--i'm not having a dig or anything! I used to have a brief problem with coke but I gave up when I was pregnant...it was HARD...and now even though i'm not pregnant I could never condone it again...


that's a very good point and i genuinely have no answer because i've wondered this myself a lot... i have a history of drug use too which i'm too apprehensive to go into detail with on here... if anyone has been through anything similar PM me because i'd like to be able to talk to someone who's had to cut out usage too. smoking seems like the lesser of three evils since it doesn't cloud your mind but if one was diligent they could plausibly raise a kid even if they are drug users or drink excessively, if their tactful the kids may never find out. does it make it ok though? it's hard to say :shrug:


----------



## 18singlemom2b

wowwwwwwwww. haven't been to teenpregnancy in a while and stumbled across this little thread. i feel that everyones entitled to their opinion, and hats off to everyone who remained composed when expressing themselves but certain people shouldn't have worded things the way they did.

i can honestly say that before finding out i was pregnant i was smoking 25 cigarettes, tons of marijuana, and doing drugs. today i can stand here and say that i am down to 4 cigarettes a day, trying to cut down to 3 by the end of this week. i feel guilty over the fact that i haven't quit completely, but aside from that i am so proud of all the sacrifices i have already made for my child. ideally, i would like to not smoke at all but i was told to cut down and that's what i am doing and in my opinion, a very good job at it :)


----------



## bumpy_j

congrats that is really good! :)


----------



## Char.due.jan

rubixcyoob. said:


> RhiLee, unless you have walked this girls shoes you have no idea what lead her to end up living the life she is. Not everyone has it easy. Not everyone makes good choices. But who are you too judge?
> Walk a day in someone elses shoes before you decide to cut them up into little pieces on your moral disection table.
> 
> Sure, it doesn't seem on the fact of it like she is a good mother, but there could be any number of reasons behind that, none of which you will probably ever fall privy too.
> 
> I smoke. Get the fuck over it. I am not a bad mother. My son wants for nothing. I do not smoke infront of him. I would hang anyone who did smoke a fag right there beside him. I take pride in mine and my sons appearance. I am not on benefits. I am a law student. I work part time. My son is happy, cared for and loved. My son has always put on weight - even in the hospital he gained weight being exclusively BF'd, which is almost unheard of. Now tell me, would you say I am a shit mother because I smoke?


No one has been personally targetted in this thread and in no way has it been made out any of the mums on here are bad parents. It's nothing to do with me what everyone on here does in their spare time. The first comment was made about girls smoking while pushing prams (forward facing prams may I add) and how inconsiderate that is to their baby's health in my opinion doing that DOES make you a bad mother as you're subjecting your child to a health risk which is easily avoided.

If I wanted to pick apart people's opinions to find something offensive I would pick apart your above comment and say- 'I'm going to be on benefits, does that make me a bad mother then?' People have opinions, which they are entitled to so I don't like smoking and anyone who subjects their child to passive smoking that's my opinion and is no way a dig at anyones parenting skills on this forum. 



> Those who are saying there is nothing wrong with smoking...it's their time, doesn't affect their LOs, it's an addiction etc...
> I'm just curious...
> if I said I had a cocaine addiction, would you judge me? I only do it when LO is asleep...obviously theres no such thing as passive cocaine lol so it's not affecting his health...and i'm addicted. Can I defend myself here on the same basis that smokers are or not really? It's my life and health etc?
> I don't see how smokers can say theres nothing wrong with it...I would never defend myself taking cocaine when i'm a mother.
> I know it's different...one is a class A illegal drug and one isn't but where do you draw the line? One could say that smoking is more harmful to a baby than snorting coke...what with the passive smoking fact and all...
> 
> This is more hypothetical than anything! And i'm genuinely curious to hear what you think--i'm not having a dig or anything! I used to have a brief problem with coke but I gave up when I was pregnant...it was HARD...and now even though i'm not pregnant I could never condone it again...

I second that :thumbup:




> And like I said it's a very specific small group of people I'm griping at - the ones that smoke like normal during pregnancy and the ones that don't assess their second hand smoke around their little one. Sorry if I seemed brash i'm not going to tell you you don't deserve a kid cause you smoke because that would be ridiculous and untrue but that's just MY personal opinion and it's nothing personal towards anyone here.

I also agree with this point.. I'm not trying to target anyone on here.. I didn't even know anyone on this forum smoked to my knowledge when I posted this? It's not a personal dig towards anyone on here and if you are deeply offended then I'm quite confused :/


----------



## Tanara

Marzipan_girl said:


> Those who are saying there is nothing wrong with smoking...it's their time, doesn't affect their LOs, it's an addiction etc...
> I'm just curious...
> if I said I had a cocaine addiction, would you judge me? I only do it when LO is asleep...obviously theres no such thing as passive cocaine lol so it's not affecting his health...and i'm addicted. Can I defend myself here on the same basis that smokers are or not really? It's my life and health etc?
> I don't see how smokers can say theres nothing wrong with it...I would never defend myself taking cocaine when i'm a mother.
> I know it's different...one is a class A illegal drug and one isn't but where do you draw the line? One could say that smoking is more harmful to a baby than snorting coke...what with the passive smoking fact and all...
> 
> This is more hypothetical than anything! And i'm genuinely curious to hear what you think--i'm not having a dig or anything! I used to have a brief problem with coke but I gave up when I was pregnant...it was HARD...and now even though i'm not pregnant I could never condone it again...


_Wow umm for one snorting coke has a way different effect for so many reasons, one its illegal, smoking cigarettes is not. 2 coke impairs your judgement and people who do coke or any other illegal drug for that matter are most defiantly not capable of taking care of a child. I grew up with my mother having a drug addiction and she pawned off everything, and was unable to take care of me. Not to mention the effects of coke on a fetus is 10,000 times different than someone having a few smokes. And no way in hell smoking has more negative effects on a child. Your point is not only offensive to me as my situation growing up but it is utterly stupid. You honestly have something wrong with your head if you honestly think your statement makes any scene at all. also you dont get high from cigarettes, and a coke high lasts hours so even if someone was to do it while their LO was in bed it would not wear off before their LO woke. Same with being drunk, I would not get drunk mid day then take care of my kids impaired.. 

Also, like most people hear stated, I smoked before I got pregnant, I carried mouth wash, body spray and scented wipes, and lotion in my bag, People didnt even know i smoked. I did not blow smoke in my sons face, nor was he ever exposed to my addiction. I barley left my house unless it was for school (which i didnt have my son) And when I was home I smoked outside away from the house and then would do my normal wash and spray. 

edit- Also if anything was to happen to your LO while impaired (on coke or any drug) for instance SIDS, you would be criminally charged. You would not be criminally charged if you were having a smoke outside, because your mentally not impaired. _


----------



## rubixcyoob.

Marzipan_girl said:


> Those who are saying there is nothing wrong with smoking...it's their time, doesn't affect their LOs, it's an addiction etc...
> I'm just curious...
> if I said I had a cocaine addiction, would you judge me? I only do it when LO is asleep...obviously theres no such thing as passive cocaine lol so it's not affecting his health...and i'm addicted. Can I defend myself here on the same basis that smokers are or not really? It's my life and health etc?
> I don't see how smokers can say theres nothing wrong with it...I would never defend myself taking cocaine when i'm a mother.
> I know it's different...one is a class A illegal drug and one isn't but where do you draw the line? One could say that smoking is more harmful to a baby than snorting coke...what with the passive smoking fact and all...
> 
> This is more hypothetical than anything! And i'm genuinely curious to hear what you think--i'm not having a dig or anything! I used to have a brief problem with coke but I gave up when I was pregnant...it was HARD...and now even though i'm not pregnant I could never condone it again...



You cannot draw a parrallel to being a drug addicted parent and being a parent who smokes. Smoking doesn't control ones life, it doesn't ruin them mentally, it doesn't change them from the person they were into some unrecognisable beast after years or months, it doesn't impair ones judgement and it doesn't run the chance of killing you after one puff.

If you said you had a cocaine addiction and looked after your child, hell yes I would judge you. Wtf, everyone in their right mind would. As I said before, you cannot parrallel smoking and drugs.

While the physicall act of taking drugs my be _your_ health, just like smoking may be the smokers health, but where they differ greatly is the effect they have on the person taking them. 

Say your child was to suddenly wake up one night after you had had one cigarette? You could easily take all your smelly clothes off and put on a robe or something to go console them, you could take a drink and breath mints, spray yourself, small steps so they wouldn't be as affected by smoke damage.

Now say the same happened after you had snorted a line of cocaine. You are in not fit state mentally, nor physically to look after a child. The chances of you hurting them are greatly increased.

Also, a tobacco addiction isn't know to turn people into petty theives and criminals, to run with the wrong circles etc. A drug addiction such as cocaine is, which once again puts your child in great danger.

Yes, passive smoking is harmful to a child, but say you smoked one cigarette away from your child at night, put your clothes in the wash, went in for a shower yourself etc. and were completely, hygienically clean again before seeing your child. You cannot simply 'wash' away a cocaine addiction, it's not the same.

Tbh, saying this it just proves that people on here will go to any lengths to make their views seem right. You are clutching at straws and by saying smoking while being mothers is more detrimental to our children than being a cocaine addict is simply infuriating! How dare you?

There is a reason smokers keep their children and drug addicts don't. Stop trying to use petty arguements to make us feel bad and score some points - it won't work.


----------



## 18singlemom2b

drug addicts are unable to care about anyone but themselves

and this is coming from someone who wasn't necessarily an addict but a recreational user who for sure had to end all that bullsh*t before bringing her child into the world.


----------



## Horse&Heart<3

I was addicted before I got pregnant, Cigarettes, pot, and alcohol. I had an awful life so I used those things to make myself feel better. My ex-boyfriend had raped me in an awful manner, I had lost all my friends, and I was just a mess. So I used alcohol, weed and cigarettes to get over it. Which was an awful decision but it was my escape. I went to therapy and stopped drinking, but I still did weed and I couldn't live without cigarettes. But I got pregnant and felt like I was choosing a decision for my baby by doing any of those. And I don't believe that I should make that decision for him. So I stopped. I might get back into cigarettes when I give birth to him, but I'll go outside if I truely need one. I have plenty of family that will watch him for me while I go have a cigarette. The addiction is hard, espicially because my boyfriend still smokes, but I love my son so much that I don't want to make that decision of smoking cigarettes for him.


----------



## Marzipan_girl

rubixcyoob. said:


> Marzipan_girl said:
> 
> 
> Those who are saying there is nothing wrong with smoking...it's their time, doesn't affect their LOs, it's an addiction etc...
> I'm just curious...
> if I said I had a cocaine addiction, would you judge me? I only do it when LO is asleep...obviously theres no such thing as passive cocaine lol so it's not affecting his health...and i'm addicted. Can I defend myself here on the same basis that smokers are or not really? It's my life and health etc?
> I don't see how smokers can say theres nothing wrong with it...I would never defend myself taking cocaine when i'm a mother.
> I know it's different...one is a class A illegal drug and one isn't but where do you draw the line? One could say that smoking is more harmful to a baby than snorting coke...what with the passive smoking fact and all...
> 
> This is more hypothetical than anything! And i'm genuinely curious to hear what you think--i'm not having a dig or anything! I used to have a brief problem with coke but I gave up when I was pregnant...it was HARD...and now even though i'm not pregnant I could never condone it again...
> 
> 
> 
> You cannot draw a parrallel to being a drug addicted parent and being a parent who smokes. Smoking doesn't control ones life, it doesn't ruin them mentally, it doesn't change them from the person they were into some unrecognisable beast after years or months, it doesn't impair ones judgement and it doesn't run the chance of killing you after one puff.
> 
> If you said you had a cocaine addiction and looked after your child, hell yes I would judge you. Wtf, everyone in their right mind would. As I said before, you cannot parrallel smoking and drugs.
> 
> While the physicall act of taking drugs my be _your_ health, just like smoking may be the smokers health, but where they differ greatly is the effect they have on the person taking them.
> 
> Say your child was to suddenly wake up one night after you had had one cigarette? You could easily take all your smelly clothes off and put on a robe or something to go console them, you could take a drink and breath mints, spray yourself, small steps so they wouldn't be as affected by smoke damage.
> 
> Now say the same happened after you had snorted a line of cocaine. You are in not fit state mentally, nor physically to look after a child. The chances of you hurting them are greatly increased.
> 
> Also, a tobacco addiction isn't know to turn people into petty theives and criminals, to run with the wrong circles etc. A drug addiction such as cocaine is, which once again puts your child in great danger.
> 
> Yes, passive smoking is harmful to a child, but say you smoked one cigarette away from your child at night, put your clothes in the wash, went in for a shower yourself etc. and were completely, hygienically clean again before seeing your child. You cannot simply 'wash' away a cocaine addiction, it's not the same.
> 
> Tbh, saying this it just proves that people on here will go to any lengths to make their views seem right. You are clutching at straws and by saying smoking while being mothers is more detrimental to our children than being a cocaine addict is simply infuriating! How dare you?
> 
> There is a reason smokers keep their children and drug addicts don't. Stop trying to use petty arguements to make us feel bad and score some points - it won't work.Click to expand...

Sorry I did say at the end of my post I was more just curious than anything to hear what others thought! I'm not trying to make you feel bad!


----------



## Marzipan_girl

Tanara said:


> Marzipan_girl said:
> 
> 
> Those who are saying there is nothing wrong with smoking...it's their time, doesn't affect their LOs, it's an addiction etc...
> I'm just curious...
> if I said I had a cocaine addiction, would you judge me? I only do it when LO is asleep...obviously theres no such thing as passive cocaine lol so it's not affecting his health...and i'm addicted. Can I defend myself here on the same basis that smokers are or not really? It's my life and health etc?
> I don't see how smokers can say theres nothing wrong with it...I would never defend myself taking cocaine when i'm a mother.
> I know it's different...one is a class A illegal drug and one isn't but where do you draw the line? One could say that smoking is more harmful to a baby than snorting coke...what with the passive smoking fact and all...
> 
> This is more hypothetical than anything! And i'm genuinely curious to hear what you think--i'm not having a dig or anything! I used to have a brief problem with coke but I gave up when I was pregnant...it was HARD...and now even though i'm not pregnant I could never condone it again...
> 
> 
> _Wow umm for one snorting coke has a way different effect for so many reasons, one its illegal, smoking cigarettes is not. 2 coke impairs your judgement and people who do coke or any other illegal drug for that matter are most defiantly not capable of taking care of a child. I grew up with my mother having a drug addiction and she pawned off everything, and was unable to take care of me. Not to mention the effects of coke on a fetus is 10,000 times different than someone having a few smokes. And no way in hell smoking has more negative effects on a child. Your point is not only offensive to me as my situation growing up but it is utterly stupid. You honestly have something wrong with your head if you honestly think your statement makes any scene at all. also you dont get high from cigarettes, and a coke high lasts hours so even if someone was to do it while their LO was in bed it would not wear off before their LO woke. Same with being drunk, I would not get drunk mid day then take care of my kids impaired..
> 
> Also, like most people hear stated, I smoked before I got pregnant, I carried mouth wash, body spray and scented wipes, and lotion in my bag, People didnt even know i smoked. I did not blow smoke in my sons face, nor was he ever exposed to my addiction. I barley left my house unless it was for school (which i didnt have my son) And when I was home I smoked outside away from the house and then would do my normal wash and spray.
> 
> edit- Also if anything was to happen to your LO while impaired (on coke or any drug) for instance SIDS, you would be criminally charged. You would not be criminally charged if you were having a smoke outside, because your mentally not impaired. _Click to expand...

Please don't be offended...like I said I wasn't trying to judge anyone...I just wanted to hear what others had to say and what they thought about it...


----------



## bumpy_j

Guys you're all taking this really personally, no-one is trying to insult anyone here, it's a debate of whats right and wrong and no-one should be made to feel stupid because of their opinion. I would NEVER touch drugs again it's a part of my past that I hate and I will always feel guilty and selfish from the hurt I put people through back then, especially my OH. But coke doesn't conk you out in the land of cukoo land for hours, if you did a small amount you function perfectly fine with a mild buzz - i'm not condoning use at all but those are the facts and some mothers don't see it as a big deal. and that is hard to swallow and it disgusts many people but it's all relative to personal experience and opinion. 

And some mothers see smoking as a big deal, you can't have a go at people for thinking that because everyone has an opinion and some people have the right to hate smoking be it that a close relative died etc etc. i personally think a few casual cigarettes away from your baby is VERY different from a chain smoker who smokes in the house, in the same room as their LO - frankly I do think it's dangerous and easily avoidable, smoking IS linked to SIDS and women who think they can live the exact same lifestyle they did before baby really frustrate me - i'm not saying that any of you come under this umbrella but i know girls who smoked heavily, drank and did drugs during their pregnancy AND still continue to go out nearly every night after giving birth. and they give teen mums a bad name which is what this thread is about - so pleeeease stop turning on each other no-ones trying to offend anyone x


----------



## Tanara

:dohh::dohh::dohh:


----------



## aliss

bumpy_j said:



> Guys you're all taking this really personally, no-one is trying to insult anyone here, it's a debate of whats right and wrong and no-one should be made to feel stupid because of their opinion. I would NEVER touch drugs again it's a part of my past that I hate and I will always feel guilty and selfish from the hurt I put people through back then, especially my OH. But coke doesn't conk you out in the land of cukoo land for hours, if you did a small amount you function perfectly fine with a mild buzz - i'm not condoning use at all but those are the facts and some mothers don't see it as a big deal. and that is hard to swallow and it disgusts many people but it's all relative to personal experience and opinion.
> 
> And some mothers see smoking as a big deal, you can't have a go at people for thinking that because everyone has an opinion and some people have the right to hate smoking be it that a close relative died etc etc. i personally think a few casual cigarettes away from your baby is VERY different from a chain smoker who smokes in the house, in the same room as their LO - frankly I do think it's dangerous and easily avoidable, smoking IS linked to SIDS and women who think they can live the exact same lifestyle they did before baby really frustrate me - i'm not saying that any of you come under this umbrella but i know girls who smoked heavily, drank and did drugs during their pregnancy AND still continue to go out nearly every night after giving birth. and they give teen mums a bad name which is what this thread is about - so pleeeease stop turning on each other no-ones trying to offend anyone x

I think some of these girls really had a right to be offended when it was said:

"but if you can't shelve something like an addiction to a little white stick that'll probably end up killing you prematurely, or at least try and keep it to an occasional minimum,* how the hell can you cope with raising a baby"*

Really, really offensive for someone to say, especially someone who is still pregnant and quite honestly has no clue what it really entails to raise a baby. It's the #1 peeve you could have as a mother - being made to feel inadequate by someone who has no clue what it is like.

A lot of these girls, and Anna especially, do a damn good job raising their babies, especially a colicky baby and being a single teen mother which is a million times harder than anyone can imagine unless you've been through it. I never smoked before and still don't know, but I can only imagine how hard it would be to quit if I was dealing with those circumstances.


----------



## bumpy_j

again:

but if you can't shelve something like an addiction to a little white stick that'll probably end up killing you prematurely, *or at least try and keep it to an occasional minimum*, how the hell can you cope with raising a baby

in your own personal opinion do you not think a mother that smokes 30-40 a day, indoors and around their baby should be encouraged to quit rather than just left to it? does anyone on that thread do this? because nobody has claimed that they've done it so therefore I don't see how my comment correlates with that - i don't really know how many times i can say that i am not anti smoking, i am anti exposure enough times for people to stop acting like i'm some sort of super bitch who's trying to make people feel bad, i'm really not! if raising a child is so hard which IT IS of course it is mothers have the hardest job in the world, then i dont get how they dont have the willpower to cut down and smoke outdoors. its not like its such a hideous crime that the social should coming but i do believe smoking needs a lot of extra caution round your LO - and if you dont agree with that than i guess we'll agree to disagree cause i wont understand your logic


----------



## aob1013

aliss said:


> bumpy_j said:
> 
> 
> Guys you're all taking this really personally, no-one is trying to insult anyone here, it's a debate of whats right and wrong and no-one should be made to feel stupid because of their opinion. I would NEVER touch drugs again it's a part of my past that I hate and I will always feel guilty and selfish from the hurt I put people through back then, especially my OH. But coke doesn't conk you out in the land of cukoo land for hours, if you did a small amount you function perfectly fine with a mild buzz - i'm not condoning use at all but those are the facts and some mothers don't see it as a big deal. and that is hard to swallow and it disgusts many people but it's all relative to personal experience and opinion.
> 
> And some mothers see smoking as a big deal, you can't have a go at people for thinking that because everyone has an opinion and some people have the right to hate smoking be it that a close relative died etc etc. i personally think a few casual cigarettes away from your baby is VERY different from a chain smoker who smokes in the house, in the same room as their LO - frankly I do think it's dangerous and easily avoidable, smoking IS linked to SIDS and women who think they can live the exact same lifestyle they did before baby really frustrate me - i'm not saying that any of you come under this umbrella but i know girls who smoked heavily, drank and did drugs during their pregnancy AND still continue to go out nearly every night after giving birth. and they give teen mums a bad name which is what this thread is about - so pleeeease stop turning on each other no-ones trying to offend anyone x
> 
> I think some of these girls really had a right to be offended when it was said:
> 
> "but if you can't shelve something like an addiction to a little white stick that'll probably end up killing you prematurely, or at least try and keep it to an occasional minimum,* how the hell can you cope with raising a baby"*
> 
> Really, really offensive for someone to say, especially someone who is still pregnant and quite honestly has no clue what it really entails to raise a baby. It's the #1 peeve you could have as a mother - being made to feel inadequate by someone who has no clue what it is like.
> 
> A lot of these girls, and Anna especially, do a damn good job raising their babies, especially a colicky baby and being a single teen mother which is a million times harder than anyone can imagine unless you've been through it. I never smoked before and still don't know, but I can only imagine how hard it would be to quit if I was dealing with those circumstances.Click to expand...

I agree aliss! Bit rich coming from someone thats never had a baby :dohh:


----------



## rockys-mumma

bumpy_j said:


> if you can't shelve something like an addiction to a little white stick that'll probably end up killing you prematurely, or at least try and keep it to an occasional minimum, how the hell can you cope with raising a baby :|

:rofl:
:dohh:


----------



## polo_princess

Come on ladies, keep it nice please

A few comments on this thread are a bit uncalled for.

Common sense .. thats what its all about, you can smoke with putting your children into any danger, yourself maybe so, but as an adult, that is your perogative.


----------



## rainbows_x

I think it's a bit ridiculous comparing cocaine addiction to a couple cigarettes a day!

This thread has gotten silly now. If you smoke, don't do it around your baby, we know that, it's obvious, we aren't blowing smoke into our childrens faces, we aren't stupid.

Me and the other mums who smoke are ALL capable of raising our children brilliantly, Ava is a happy, healthy & forward baby. Alot of people who are bashing us on our child raising skills haven't even had a baby/smoked before so therefore don't full understand cigarette addiction/raising.


----------



## Char.due.jan

Why has this thread turned into such an immature argument. Some of you are targeting people individually and its not fair. How can you comment on someone that hasn't had a baby? That has nothing to do with her opinion on smoking. If people want to subject their child to passive smoking then so be it. But my opinion is I think it's disgusting to smoke around children and guidelines now are to be 7 steps away from your door to prevent smoke being in the atmosphere in your home. Harming chemicals from smoking don't disappear into thin air or go away with a spray of air freshener it's still in the atmosphere and clings to materials such as sofas, curtains etc. I would not take my baby into a smoking household, whether the person in the house was smoking at the time or not. That is my view and opinion and how someone can say it is not valid because I have not yet had my baby is an absolute imbecile.


----------



## Tanara

_Not one person said your opinion is not valid, the point was that someone who hasn't had a baby has no right to judge someones parenting end of story. I seriously dont understand why you all care so much about what others do with their lives and their children, it does not effect you or your kids.. Jez people need to focus on their own lives instead of constantly worrying about what everyone else is doing. _


----------



## aob1013

:lol: the joys of being ignorant eh!


----------



## rubixcyoob.

Char.due.jan said:


> Why has this thread turned into such an immature argument. Some of you are targeting people individually and its not fair. How can you comment on someone that hasn't had a baby? That has nothing to do with her opinion on smoking. If people want to subject their child to passive smoking then so be it. But my opinion is I think it's disgusting to smoke around children and guidelines now are to be 7 steps away from your door to prevent smoke being in the atmosphere in your home. Harming chemicals from smoking don't disappear into thin air or go away with a spray of air freshener it's still in the atmosphere and clings to materials such as sofas, curtains etc. I would not take my baby into a smoking household, whether the person in the house was smoking at the time or not. That is my view and opinion and how someone can say it is not valid because I have not yet had my baby is an absolute imbecile.



This thread became the way it did because all the non smokers putting us down about it; saying we cannot raise our children, it is worse than a cocaine addiction etc. Basically saying we are shit mums. So despite the fact it remained pretty ambigious in whom it referred to, it could and did apply to all of us for smoking. It's infuriating to say the least.

And wtf, where is the need to make person digs again calling us imbeciles? We said, until you have a child, do not comment on the fact that you believe smoking and being a parent means you cannot cope nor are you a good parent. That we can comment on, we are parents and know the trials and tribulations that accompany such a title, you do not. That is our perogative in an area you are still very inexperienced with.


----------



## bumpy_j

No one said it was worse than a cocaine addiction it was a hypothetical debate and a valid point, and no one has said you're bad mothers. 

But if you have the willpower to be a great mother, the hardest job in the world, surely curbing smoking to a small amount a day not around your LO is not the hardest battle if you know it's for your LO. Please don't attack me for that view because surely everyone here does that anyway? so therefore nobody has been personally attacked? I've already said I will probably smoke in a controlled way if times get hard because i've quit and failed before and I know my limitations. Will having a child be so traumatic that I wont be able to help myself but have to stay in the same room as my LO if I spark up? I don't get why people are calling me ignorant when that's the biggest problem I have with it.

I mean do you want me to put you in the same category as people i know who still smoke 30 a day, in the same house as their LO with no special considerations? I could do that if you like but I haven't done that so far, i've never doubted anyones mothering ability here. I'm sorry if anyone got offended and I don't want to make people hate me on here (might be too late...:|) so i'll leave this thread alone but this thread shouldn't have become a smokers vs non smokers battle and i'm sorry if i offended anyone that wasn't my intention. Now stop attacking each other! x


----------



## Tanara

_I still Fail to see how a cocaine addiction is anything like smoking a cigarette, Something that changes you as a person completely vs something that has no personality effect in any scene. How many times have you heard of people committing crimes and losing their children due to a drug addiction vs committing crimes and losing their children over smoking? Me personally 10-0... I have never heard of anyone losing their children because they smoke so the two situations do not work as a scenario, not a logical one anyways. _


----------



## bumpy_j

I don't believe drug addicts should have sympathy with keeping their children at all if they're not willing to kick the habit - normally it's because they're depressed and so desperate for escape and that's not the right environment for a child to be in let alone the fact that it's dangerous. They need help before having that sort of responsibility. But feasibly somebody may have such a control over cocaine that they can cope with a small bit at night, an amount that doesn't transform them, and can still cope perfectly well with a baby whilst getting a light buzz, and can do this without anyone ever finding out without harming anyone in the process. I'm sure it's been done. So does that mean that person can't raise their child? It's controversial to say yes and i'm far too uncomfortable with the idea myself but it's a valid point nonetheless - if the drug doesn't control them then what harm are they doing, not condoning it but it's a point. But course smoking is a different ballpark completely and the health risks of second hand smoke are mountains less than the risk of a baby being in the care of somebody on a fat coke binge. it's just the idea of addiction and exposure...

and yeah this is defo defo my last post! x


----------



## Tanara

_Point taken EXCEPT the point was even stated that she thought smoking was worse. Although i understand someone may be able to pull of a small amount for a while eventually your body would get use to that small amount and gradually it becomes more and more. 

My biological mom was a morphine addict for a long time (among other things) but when i was a baby it started out as half a pill for a month or two then it was a full pill then 2 then 3 then 4 then injecting it. It never stays at that half a pill you grow a tolerance for it. By the time I was 2 she was doing heroin, coke, pain killers, and drinking. Drugs dont normally attain to one thing. Most people start out smoking weed, and it progresses to trying other things. ( I was taken away from my mom btw for anyone wondering.)

Personally I have never done drugs i learned from my Bio moms mistakes. But I still think its outrageous to even put the two side by side and try and compare it. which the post was comparing the two. _


----------



## bumpy_j

Tanara said:


> _Point taken EXCEPT the point was even stated that she thought smoking was worse. Although i understand someone may be able to pull of a small amount for a while eventually your body would get use to that small amount and gradually it becomes more and more.
> 
> My biological mom was a morphine addict for a long time (among other things) but when i was a baby it started out as half a pill for a month or two then it was a full pill then 2 then 3 then 4 then injecting it. It never stays at that half a pill you grow a tolerance for it. By the time I was 2 she was doing heroin, coke, pain killers, and drinking. Drugs dont normally attain to one thing. Most people start out smoking weed, and it progresses to trying other things. ( I was taken away from my mom btw for anyone wondering.)
> 
> Personally I have never done drugs i learned from my Bio moms mistakes. But I still think its outrageous to even put the two side by side and try and compare it. which the post was comparing the two. _

Wow that's truly awful, i'm sorry you had to go through that, I could never know how that feels and that is something no-one deserves to go through. It's great that you didn't go down that route, you must have a lot of strength... and I do agree it starts with one thing and snowballs - people don't just decide to buy heroin one day. I'm sure you'll be/are a brilliant mum, are you expecting?


----------



## bumpy_j

I just saw your ticker in your sig aha i feel so stupid now!


----------



## Marzipan_girl

Yeah I wasn't saying anyone here was a bad mother, and I actually wasn't comparing the two! What I meant was, where do you draw the line at whats okay to do around a baby and what isn't...I mostly just wanted to hear your opinions so please don't insult me because I wasn't insulting anyone here...if you took it as an insult then i'm sorry and apologise as I don't like to upset anyone...but in my post I wasn't saying anything bad about anyone here!


----------



## Tanara

_Dont be sorry I have a great step mom, I never missed out on having a motherly figure in my life. 

And of course no one wakes up one morning and decides they are going to become a drug addict, I just think the overall statement made to do with drugs corresponding with smoking was a little to far.

And yes I have a little boy who will be 3 in Feb and expecting a little girl in January. _


----------



## Marzipan_girl

rubixcyoob. said:


> Char.due.jan said:
> 
> 
> Why has this thread turned into such an immature argument. Some of you are targeting people individually and its not fair. How can you comment on someone that hasn't had a baby? That has nothing to do with her opinion on smoking. If people want to subject their child to passive smoking then so be it. But my opinion is I think it's disgusting to smoke around children and guidelines now are to be 7 steps away from your door to prevent smoke being in the atmosphere in your home. Harming chemicals from smoking don't disappear into thin air or go away with a spray of air freshener it's still in the atmosphere and clings to materials such as sofas, curtains etc. I would not take my baby into a smoking household, whether the person in the house was smoking at the time or not. That is my view and opinion and how someone can say it is not valid because I have not yet had my baby is an absolute imbecile.
> 
> 
> 
> This thread became the way it did because all the non smokers putting us down about it; saying we cannot raise our children, it is worse than a cocaine addiction etc. Basically saying we are shit mums. So despite the fact it remained pretty ambigious in whom it referred to, it could and did apply to all of us for smoking. It's infuriating to say the least.
> 
> And wtf, where is the need to make person digs again calling us imbeciles? We said, until you have a child, do not comment on the fact that you believe smoking and being a parent means you cannot cope nor are you a good parent. That we can comment on, we are parents and know the trials and tribulations that accompany such a title, you do not. That is our perogative in an area you are still very inexperienced with.Click to expand...

What the hell?! i never ONCE said smoking is worse than a cocaine addiction?! You're taking my post WAY out of context...thats not what I meant at all!


----------



## Tanara

Marzipan_girl said:


> Yeah I wasn't saying anyone here was a bad mother, and I actually wasn't comparing the two! What I meant was, where do you draw the line at whats okay to do around a baby and what isn't...I mostly just wanted to hear your opinions so please don't insult me because I wasn't insulting anyone here...if you took it as an insult then i'm sorry and apologise as I don't like to upset anyone...but in my post I wasn't saying anything bad about anyone here!

_I never wrote anything at all to say anything insulting I simply stated I think your post was completely off the wall and really had no relevance to what was being talked about. There is a line the line is do not do illegal things that can harm your children. But smoking isn't illegal, and as i stated before no one has ever got a kid taken away for smoking. 

I am not offended, i just have a pretty big opinion on drugs and parenting. I am sorry to anyone I make feel bad in anyway. I am a very opinionated person, it is a flaw I have.

and I wasnt getting at you personally attacking anyone, there were posts that were a little attcky from other members. No matter the situation noone has the right to judge anyone else, hardships are hardships we all make mistakes and do things we regret. No one is perfect, end of story. _


----------



## Marzipan_girl

Tanara said:


> Marzipan_girl said:
> 
> 
> Yeah I wasn't saying anyone here was a bad mother, and I actually wasn't comparing the two! What I meant was, where do you draw the line at whats okay to do around a baby and what isn't...I mostly just wanted to hear your opinions so please don't insult me because I wasn't insulting anyone here...if you took it as an insult then i'm sorry and apologise as I don't like to upset anyone...but in my post I wasn't saying anything bad about anyone here!
> 
> _I never wrote anything at all to say anything insulting I simply stated I think your post was completely off the wall and really had no relevance to what was being talked about. There is a line the line is do not do illegal things that can harm your children. But smoking isn't illegal, and as i stated before no one has ever got a kid taken away for smoking.
> 
> I am not offended, i just have a pretty big opinion on drugs and parenting. I am sorry to anyone I make feel bad in anyway. I am a very opinionated person, it is a flaw I have.
> 
> and I wasnt getting at you personally attacking anyone, there were posts that were a little attcky from other members. No matter the situation noone has the right to judge anyone else, hardships are hardships we all make mistakes and do things we regret. No one is perfect, end of story. _Click to expand...

Okay I am sorry for my post being off the wall...I can see why it looked like I was having a go at people for smoking. But again, I didn't mean that at all...I don't want to cause any arguments or have anyone hating me! :flower:


----------



## Tanara

_I honestly dont think anyone hates you =]_


----------



## Croc-O-Dile

Come on ladies, we don't need another locked thread in Teen Pregnancy :flower:

Some of us smoke, some of us don't. Some of us pierce out children's ears, some of us don't. Some of us are SAHMs, some of us are WOHMs. We're all different and with different opinions. As teen moms/moms-to-be, we know what it's like to judged and tormented because of our choices. None of us like it, so let's not do the same to others, kwim? :thumbup:

I know some of you may say "being a teen mom is different than smoking! It doesn't hurt people, etc. etc." But at the end of the day, it was still a choice. We all made the decision to bring our children into the world. And those who smoke or do whatever made the decision to do that as well. Which is the point I'm making.

Debating is one thing, but try not to let your emotions get the better of you when replying. (Which I know can be hard for some of us.)


The OP wasn't slagging off smokers, she was mad about smoke being blown in a baby's face, which I'm sure none of us are okay with. So let's just let it die, okay? :hugs:


----------



## mum#1

I totally agree with you Ally.
I think some girls in here just get offended esp when they state, 'yes teen mums get a bad name', but to be judged by another teen mum?


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

I don't mind if parebts smoke. It's their choice it only upsets me if I see people smoking round their/other children. Just because the choose to smoke doesn't mean the children do i.e. second hand smoke
xx


----------



## rubixcyoob.

To all those who said that no one said smoking was worse than cocaine ...






Marzipan_girl said:


> One could say that smoking is more harmful to a baby than snorting coke...what with the passive smoking fact and all...



So do not say that we were putting words into your mouth, saying that you said things when you never ect. That statement cannot be interpreted any other way than people believe smoking is more harmful than cocaine addiction.

I am done with this thread. If anyone has anything to say to me in regards to me being a bad mother then PM me and I'll set you straight. I will not have you throwing stupid allegations across the internet at me for my lifestyle choice.


----------



## Char.due.jan

I did not say any of you were imbeciles? I said that anyone that says my opinion on smoking around children is invalid because I do not have children is an imbecile. You do not need to have a child to have views on smoking around them. Refer to the very first post of this thread and you will find what I was offended by. Now stop trying to twist anything anyone says into a personal attack it's pathetic. 

And to the above post it says one COULD say not I think that smoking isn't as bad as a cocaine addiction. It was a hypothetical argument and point not a way to condone drug use.


----------



## annawrigley

](*,)](*,)](*,)
I like how you're all backtracking now your arguments have been blown out the water!

For those of you wondering why this thread turned so nasty, its maybe because of the ridiculous allegations that we can't look after our children, and the ridiculous comparison between cocaine and cigarettes. Its pathetic and offensive.

And since when were we talking about smoking in the same room as the child? :confused: You seemed to be referring to smoking in general until people pointed out your post as being rude and unnecessary then backtracked and pretended it was just about smoking inside :wacko:

If you are going to take such a controversial viewpoint, at least stick to it when people challenge it :roll:

And for the record, having a baby is the most stressful thing i have ever ever done in my life, especially doing it on my own as aliss pointed out (thank you aliss :kiss:). Noah had colic for the first 4 months of his life then as soon as he was over that his first 2 teeth started coming through and he has been teething for the past 4 months straight! Some people have it 'easy' and have 'good' babies, but i definitely have not so if i want to have a cigarette, outside (more than 7 steps away ;)) when my child is in bed, to keep me feeling sane, then i will :D


----------



## Marzipan_girl

Char.due.jan said:


> I did not say any of you were imbeciles? I said that anyone that says my opinion on smoking around children is invalid because I do not have children is an imbecile. You do not need to have a child to have views on smoking around them. Refer to the very first post of this thread and you will find what I was offended by. Now stop trying to twist anything anyone says into a personal attack it's pathetic.
> 
> And to the above post it says one COULD say not I think that smoking isn't as bad as a cocaine addiction. It was a hypothetical argument and point not a way to condone drug use.

Thankyou! Thats what I meant! :thumbup: And I wasn't trying to accuse anyone here of being a bad mum either. :flower:


----------



## Char.due.jan

Marzipan_girl said:


> Char.due.jan said:
> 
> 
> I did not say any of you were imbeciles? I said that anyone that says my opinion on smoking around children is invalid because I do not have children is an imbecile. You do not need to have a child to have views on smoking around them. Refer to the very first post of this thread and you will find what I was offended by. Now stop trying to twist anything anyone says into a personal attack it's pathetic.
> 
> And to the above post it says one COULD say not I think that smoking isn't as bad as a cocaine addiction. It was a hypothetical argument and point not a way to condone drug use.
> 
> Thankyou! Thats what I meant! :thumbup: And I wasn't trying to accuse anyone here of being a bad mum either. :flower:Click to expand...


Me neither its strange how people take things as personal attacks :dohh: x


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

I don't seen how smoking has any baring on someones ability to be a mother. Yes smoking around a chikd isn't very good. But just being a smoker will not affect a child. X


----------



## rubixcyoob.

Well said Anna :flower:

Raising Joshua is the most stressful thing I have ever done, to top it off I have university, work, driving lessons as well as trying to fix and maintain a relationship with my OH. Having a cigarette to relieve some of that stress is what I will do.

And just for the record the phrase "it could be argued ... " means that yes, there is an arguement for whatever it proceeds, hence why it 'could' be argued, but I'm not going into that here and now.
So saying "it could be argued that smoking is worse than cocaine" means that, yes there is ana arguement for smoking being worse than cocaine which I won't delve into right now. 

Stop back tracking on your arguements and trying to twist what you and we have said in this topic. It's ridiculous now.


----------



## mum#1

I wouldn't argue with rubixcyoob, 1. she's very correct but 2. she's studying to become a lawyer (sorry if i'm mistaken) so she's great at it :winkwink: :haha:


----------



## rubixcyoob.

Mum#1 thanks! Finally someone seeing sense :D and yes you are very much correct ;) I'll soon make a living out of arguing my facts to the grave and back.


----------



## HannahGraceee

annawrigley said:


> ](*,)](*,)](*,)
> I like how you're all backtracking now your arguments have been blown out the water!
> 
> For those of you wondering why this thread turned so nasty, its maybe because of the ridiculous allegations that we can't look after our children, and the ridiculous comparison between cocaine and cigarettes. Its pathetic and offensive.
> 
> And since when were we talking about smoking in the same room as the child? :confused: You seemed to be referring to smoking in general until people pointed out your post as being rude and unnecessary then backtracked and pretended it was just about smoking inside :wacko:
> 
> If you are going to take such a controversial viewpoint, at least stick to it when people challenge it :roll:
> 
> *And for the record, having a baby is the most stressful thing i have ever ever done in my life, especially doing it on my own as aliss pointed out (thank you aliss ). Noah had colic for the first 4 months of his life then as soon as he was over that his first 2 teeth started coming through and he has been teething for the past 4 months straight! Some people have it 'easy' and have 'good' babies, but i definitely have not so if i want to have a cigarette, outside (more than 7 steps away ) when my child is in bed, to keep me feeling sane, then i will *


100% agree! from birth intill ava was 16 months, marc would only come round once or twice a week! so doing a lot on my own! so it was just ME time for once! and it still is :haha:


----------



## bumpy_j

annawrigley said:


> ](*,)](*,)](*,)
> I like how you're all backtracking now your arguments have been blown out the water!
> 
> For those of you wondering why this thread turned so nasty, its maybe because of the ridiculous allegations that we can't look after our children, and the ridiculous comparison between cocaine and cigarettes. Its pathetic and offensive.
> 
> And since when were we talking about smoking in the same room as the child? :confused: You seemed to be referring to smoking in general until people pointed out your post as being rude and unnecessary then backtracked and pretended it was just about smoking inside :wacko:
> 
> If you are going to take such a controversial viewpoint, at least stick to it when people challenge it :roll:
> 
> And for the record, having a baby is the most stressful thing i have ever ever done in my life, especially doing it on my own as aliss pointed out (thank you aliss :kiss:). Noah had colic for the first 4 months of his life then as soon as he was over that his first 2 teeth started coming through and he has been teething for the past 4 months straight! Some people have it 'easy' and have 'good' babies, but i definitely have not so if i want to have a cigarette, outside (more than 7 steps away ;)) when my child is in bed, to keep me feeling sane, then i will :D

'_sorry if i seemed too angry with my post before aha - tbh i will probably socially smoke on occasion when i'm not around my LO because i've still got heavy cravings most days but i'll never be a 'smoker' again if i can help it, it's not really the mums that make me so riled it's the ones that keep on at twenty a day when they're pregnant, or smoke in the same room as their LO especially the room they sleep in. _'

That was my counter comment that I wrote afterwards before I was 'challenged' so I just thought that I'd cleared the air before anyone needed to get offended, that this wasn't a view on all people who smoke just the ones who aren't responsible about it, and I also apologised if my view seemed too brash as I hadn't thought of my words carefully enough, but I don't want people to think i'm tunneling out of my true opinion - that's all. If someone had said 'yeah i smoked heavily during my pregnancy and I never tried to give it don't believe any of that second hand smoke stuff is true' then I wouldve spoken out about it because as much as its peoples business, if you make it public, you're liable to criticism and that would've upset me to hear... but everyone on here sounds brilliant with it. I'm sorry if you got offended and this thread has has faaaar too much drama, and i hope that this debate hasn't made things too awkward. You sound like a really great mum, i'll try to be more coherent and sensitive in the future :flower:


----------



## polo_princess

Is this still going ... go for a fag break :lol:


----------



## rainbows_x

:lol:


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

:rofl:
xx


----------



## Croc-O-Dile

:rofl:


----------



## HannahGraceee

:rofl:


----------



## rjb

removed


----------



## annawrigley

:wacko:


----------



## rubixcyoob.

Anna, if you're talking about the post above yours, I totally agree. Baffled doesn't even describe it ...


----------



## mummy2brett

holly2234 said:


> Sad thing is theres plenty of older mums who do that too! Just need to go into town and see people doing it and they vary from being teen mums to older ones. But they only ever mention the teens who do it.

I agree, teens are most known to not care for their babies, thats not true i dont get why people think we cant cope!.. 
off the subject, can someone tell me how to get profile picture cos i tried uploading and it said i couldnt cos it too big but every pic is.. is it on the avatar section?.. help..


----------



## aob1013

Weirddddddd!


----------



## Breezy

I quit smoking before I got pregnant... It took a while to be able to quit but I finally did! DH is totally against it and hated my smoking and so he was a big reason I was able to finally quit because it was an issue between the two of us. I still went out and wanted to smoke when I drank and when I went out to a club or party, etc I did have a few.. 

Then I stopped drinking and smoking........ended up falling pregnant in May....

My DH is deploying in March- our son is due in Feb. I am SO worried I am going to start smoking again while he is deployed because of the stress, etc......

I know I need to have self control and what not but as you ladies know, it is not easy always to say no to the craving. I have done SO well and haven't smoked in a while so I am praying I will be able to resist and I will be able to deal with the stress....

.... No point really to this post but I needed to confess this thought/fear to someone and this thread just kind of looked like a place where people would understand!!!


----------



## thislife164

It's awful how some people are. I used to work with at a fast food place and everyone there was 21 or under and had kids. Now I have no room to talk as I'm 19, but the fact that most of the girls didn't know who the baby's father was and the fact that everyone that had a child (mothers and fathers) was always asking me to babysit so they could go out and get hammered and stoned. It just sickens me!


----------



## rjb

rubixcyoob. said:


> Anna, if you're talking about the post above yours, I totally agree. Baffled doesn't even describe it ...

removed


----------



## rainbows_x

This is STILL going?

:coffee:


----------



## lily123

rainbows_x said:


> This is STILL going?
> 
> :coffee:

:rofl:


----------



## rubixcyoob.

Agreed with Linzie and Donna. I am so confused now. Everytime I see a new response it is so far from the original topic I think I'm starting to go insane and imagining it was about smoking :rofl:


----------

