# Tom is officially slow:(



## Emmea12uk

The physio came today and I asked if it was usual for him to not be crawling by now and she checked him over and said that it is unusual and he is on the slow side. 

Now thinking about it, there are loads of things he doesnt do... he doesnt do much at all. He can do all these things physically, but just doesnt. I feel like a total failure. Have I spoiled him so that he hasnt learnt? Or is there something else underlying. he has always been mega calm and laid back...and now i am starting to worry that it is because there is something mentally wrong with him.

I feel awful. I should be prepared for this, but I am not. I always said i could cope with physical disability, but I dont think I can cope with mental disability.:cry::cry:

Why do these things always come up when I am on my own?!?! When OH isnt here to support me:cry:


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## cupcake

my baby doesnt crawl either that doesnt make him slow hun, were there other things?


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## AppleBlossom

:hugs: hun, it's not your fault. Tommy is not like most babies and so it may take him more time to do things. But neither of you are to blame, that's just how it is. Grace can't crawl yet and she's older. She can't sit properly for very long either. There might be a lot of other things, like talking (well babbling) that he can do that other babies his age, who might be able to do the physical stuff, can't really do. Hugs to you both x


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## Nikkinoonoo

Jessica still isn't crawling either hun just shoving herself around backwards with straight legs. All babies work at different paces, regardless of any disabilities. My cousin was walking at 9 months whereas my OH wasn't walking properly until he was 18 months. Neither of then are disabled, they just worked at their own pace. Try not to worry hun he'll get there and just because he isn't crawling just yet don't mean other developments will be slow. xXx


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## Nikkinoonoo

And poke your physio in the eye for saying that, she above all should know that ALL babies develop differently and the 'average' baby shouldn't be comparable to babies who have other obsticles to overcome. xXx


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## Emmea12uk

cupcake said:


> my baby doesnt crawl either that doesnt make him slow hun, were there other things?

yes, he just doesnt do much compared to other 8 month olds. He has just this week figured out how to lay down from sitting and roll front to back. he didnt start reaching for things until 7 months old. He is very very vocal. I wonder if that is where i went wrong. Daddy and me have been together with him 24/7 and if he winges or talks he gets our attention and we play with him. I never really left him to play by himself before.

One example is Bexy - you posted videos of Grace bouncing around on her arms months ago - tom doesnt do that. He doesnt get delight over anything he can do himself. He can't turn if there is a toy beside him, and wont even twist.

Another baby plays with muslins and puts them on her head, pulls it off and laughs.

When ever I say "tom started [...] today" everyone says, "[...] started that ages ago.


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## Emmea12uk

Nikkinoonoo said:


> And poke your physio in the eye for saying that, she above all should know that ALL babies develop differently and the 'average' baby shouldn't be comparable to babies who have other obsticles to overcome. xXx

she didnt say it without be asking her whether he was slow, and she explained that it may be because all the time he is sick he is unlearning things and not learning new things. But he hasnt been sick much - about a month in total which onyl puts him back to 7 months.


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## Nikkinoonoo

Jessica is a month older than Tom and isn't crawling either maybe I should be worried then :(


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## freckleonear

:hug:

Aaron didn't learn to crawl until nearly 10 months, but now he is walking and doing fine. Some babies never learn to crawl but go straight on to walking! He didn't learn to roll over until about then either. So I think your physio was silly to say that it's not normal.

Someone linked this article a while ago, it's very helpful explaining the difference between average age and normal age. https://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0816/is_8_23/ai_n21053626?tag=content;col1

All babies do things differently, try not to worry as I'm sure Tom is doing great and you are certainly doing the best you can for him.


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## brownhairedmom

:hugs:


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## Vickie

:hugs: You did say he was super-laid back which could also be a contributing factor. My nephew has a little girl like this and she is almost a year old and never crawled (is starting to stand up now). She also took until almost 7-8 months to even sit up!


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## cupcake

I dont know enough about Tom's condition but I do knwo you are certainly not to blame! 
He sounds like he is doing the very best he can, and some things he is just cottoning onto a bit later that other babies. I think the woman was very wrong to tell you that he is slow.


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## AppleBlossom

I think Grace is a bit like Tom, a lot of people have commented on how laid back she is. Personally I think she is just going to miss out crawling forwards altogether, she just isn't into it. I think the physio was probably just going on the basic guidelines. But every baby is different and develops at different stages, disabled or not x


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## Serene123

He's 8 months old! He isn't slow atall. Aslong as you've been encouraging him, which I'm sure you have, then you're not to blame atall!


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## maybebaby

:hugs:


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## 1st_baby

Cant belive she would say hes slow , seriously my sons cousin is 1 week older then max and he dose not crawl or babble yet hes normal , I didnt even crawl I got up at 12 months and walked ..try not to worry hun he will do things is way ..

** give a kiss to my lil tom **


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## Tegans Mama

Hun... I said to you earlier, our babies will always be different. There will always be things that other babies can do and our babies can't. Tigs can't sit up by herself. have you thought Tom's back may be stiff, which could be why he can't turn? Also, if his cord is tethered it is likely he won't be able to turn. 

I know what you mean exactly about the whole '..did that ages ago.' Tigs started rolling over when she was about 5 months, but she's stopped doing it again now.. I would never say that Tom is slow. From what I've seen of him (and I can't wait to see more, see you next Tuesday haha!!) Tom is a few months in front of Tigs which he should be. I would probably have told our Physio where to go - which I have done once. You are entirely within your rights to request another physio, and if she has a bad attitude then do it. 

I know we talked about this at length earlier, and you know that I will always be there when you need me. :hugs::hugs:


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## brownhairedmom

If it makes you feel better, Renah should have been able to lift her head up around a month (like being able to get it off the floor) and she didn't do it until 4-5 days ago and she's almost 4 months now :dohh: She skipped the beginning part and just went straight up into pushing herself up off the floor. So only almost 3 months late :dohh:

He'll do it in his own time :) I know its hard when they aren't doing what you think they should be doing but they do it when they're damn well good and ready! Stubborn, really! :rofl:


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## alio

Emmea12uk said:


> When ever I say "tom started [...] today" everyone says, "[...] started that ages ago.

darling, i think we all get that! that's other mums for you... i really wouldn't be too concerned love. the fact that he's very vocal is a really good sign. some kids develop vocally much quicker than physically, and some tend to work the other way round. 

Maybe now leave him to amuse himself a bit and so he can develop his skills a bit. xxx


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## Linzi

Every baby learns at their own pace hun. Seth hasn't been long crawling, and started well after all of the other babies we know, and he only just started sitting at 7 months when other babies had been since 4! But he was rolling really early. They're all different and learn at their own pace. I wish I could give you HV a slap for saying that to you it's awful!

*hugs* You've done nothing wrong, you're a brilliant mummy. 

xxx


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## sam's mum

Sam was older than Tom before he crawled! One of his friends was sitting early on but just never knowed any interest in crawling - he still doesn't crawl and he's 1. But he's advanced in other ways, and from what you've said Tom is too. I think the way they develop depends a lot on what they are interested in, not just what they are physically capable of - Sam was really late at sitting unsupported because he just wanted to roll around the floor instead, and wouldn't stay still for more than a couple of seconds.

:hug: It really doesn't sound like he's slow at all, and she was wrong to tell you that x


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## Wobbles

Emmea12uk said:


> The physio came today and I asked if it was usual for him to not be crawling by now and she checked him over and said that it is unusual and he is on the slow side.
> 
> Now thinking about it, there are loads of things he doesnt do... he doesnt do much at all. He can do all these things physically, but just doesnt. I feel like a total failure. Have I spoiled him so that he hasnt learnt? Or is there something else underlying. he has always been mega calm and laid back...and now i am starting to worry that it is because there is something mentally wrong with him.
> 
> I feel awful. I should be prepared for this, but I am not. I always said i could cope with physical disability, but I dont think I can cope with mental disability.:cry::cry:
> 
> Why do these things always come up when I am on my own?!?! When OH isnt here to support me:cry:

August Caitlin started crawling (middle) so 8 half months!! Some babies walk first. I was never told Caitlin was slow and see Tom is 8 months!

I've not read replies and no doubt people have said the same hun x

Chin up chicky the best you can ...you do great x I find you such a strenght for your lil boy through your posts.

x


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## ColtonsMom

Oh wow.. if thats slow, Colton must be slow too.
He didn't hold his head up off the floor until almost 5 months! didn't roll back to belly until 4-5 months, and didn't roll belly to back until 7 months.
And I cannot believe she said he was slow because he wasn't crawling. First off, she of all people should know that crawling IS NOT considered a milestone in a childs life. A doctor wont say "Oh this baby is slow because they aren't crawling" because of the amount of babies that DO NOT crawl at all. And two, the average crawling age is between 7 and NINE months! Plus, saying that.. Colton didn't crawl until almost 10 months! :dohh:

I know you may be stressing over this, as it could be scary. But now is definitally not the time to worry to even begin worrying. He is growing and will do things when he is ready. :hugs:


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## princess_bump

:hugs: sweetie you're doing brillantly, you're a fab mum :hugs: x x x


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## mickey

Juleika was always slow with all those things!

when she was 8 month and didn't crawl I also got concerned, whereas now she is 15 and a half months old and still doesn't walk free I am used to the fact she is slow!

I just give her the time she needs. on the other hand she does train everything carefully before she is confident enough to do it on her own, that's the plus no falling, bumping and crying ;)

just keep an eye on the development... and don't be concerned at this stage. ask for checks about mental disabilities...

I just know there is a check at 18 month for autism...


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## Tegans Mama

I saw something earlier.. I told you about it on MSN and its really upset me now, Tewgan is 7 months (almost), can't sit unaided, had a phase of rolling front to back and then stopped, can't roll back to front, can't support her own weight, can't hold herself up on her front with her hands.. I am feeling rather sad right now too.

:hugs: Its horrible, I know it is. But I honestly think we should be comparing our babies with other babies with SB and not with babies with no issues at all.


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## Tilly

Bethanie didn't crawl until 11 months and didn't walk until 16 months.. she is fine now and running all over the place! I would ignore those comments, sounds like your physio is a bit thick. Oh and you said he's very vocal, Bethanie's speech developed at a much faster rate.


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## JASMAK

I know it's hard. Let yourself grieve, but you have to stay strong. He is still so little. Things change. I know Makena has something different, but she has changed so much since she was little. She is still really behind, but, she isn't suffering. She is happy! I am sure your little guy is too. Nothing changes that. He will always be your precious baby boy - no matter what. I tend to be very strict with Makena and I try to make her do (or at least try) to do things by herself. My husband is the opposite. I joke and tell him that he is her "enabler". Just do what feels right to you. Remember, you are a MOM FIRST and foremost...not her physio therapist, or speech path. But, for me, I do try and get Makena to do the self-help stuff more than my husband does. Those reports hurt though, don't they. :hug:


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## Emmea12uk

JASMAK said:


> She is happy! I am sure your little guy is too. Nothing changes that. He will always be your precious baby boy - no matter what... Remember, you are a MOM FIRST and foremost...not her physio therapist, or speech path.
> 
> Those reports hurt though, don't they. :hug:


You know, you are so right, he is happy so it doesnt matter does it! If he starts crawling now I will be running around after him eating my words!

I need someone to give me these virtual slaps in the face to wake me up to the fact that "he is happy and that is all that matters"


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## charlottecco2

:hugs: you are doing a fantastic job, jaiden is no where near crawling either. to be honest i'm not sure he will ever crawl because of the tube hanging out of his tummy and then in a few weeks he will have surgery to have another tube put in his tummy. So he doesn't like being on his tummy because it is uncomfortable for him.

My physio told me he was behind in his development, but its too be expected with the amount he has been through and he is VERY vocal like thomas, so i really am not worried. As long as he is walking before he is 2yrs :rofl: then i'll be happy.

I gave up comparing him to other babies of a similar age months ago. Our babies are special and clever in their own ways.
He will acheive everything in his own time, to be honest he is probably just being stubborn and lazy like Jaiden and they want to be fashionabley late. hee hee

And you are totally right, being happy is ALL that matters. When jaiden giggles it breaks my heart everytime because most days I have inserted his nasal gastric tube 5 times, injected him, he has projectile vomitted and yet through all of his discomfort and pain he still smiles at me. They are such little miracles and he really is my inspiration and keeps me strong because I know all the hardwork is paying off when he shows that gummy grin.

And know that when Thomas smiles at you its because he thinks you are the most amazing mummy and you are doing a fantastic job. 

If you are anything like me you will have days where you don't know how you are going to cope and that may never change but just seeing the progress that has been made, makes it all worth while.
:hugs: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Emmea12uk

Charlotte, you made me cry. You are amazing. I wish i could be as strong as you.


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## charlottecco2

Emmea12uk said:


> Charlotte, you made me cry. You are amazing. I wish i could be as strong as you.

:hugs::hugs: you are strong honey. keep your chin up xxxx


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## Aria

One of my cousins didn't crawl until he was 18 months or sit up on his own until he was closer to 2. Didn't talk until 2 years. My aunt thought for sure he was disabled. But he went on to develop normally. Not all babies develop at the exact same pace. He's still young. Unless there's a name for a disorder, don't worry and just chalk it up to his lagging behind a bit.


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## Emmea12uk

I take it all back! He was a tad bit slow slow but since writing this, he has learnt to clap, wave, screach with excitement, Scream when he wants something, throw a paddy when he doesnt get something, move around the floor on his bum whilst bouncing, twist, turn, pull himself to his knees and pull himself to standing!!!

Panic over, I am tired already ! lol


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## miel

:):hugs:


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## Aria

Well there you go! Remember the averages used mean just that - it's an average. There are some who are faster and some who are slower. The range of normal is much larger. 

Enjoy your son's energy!!


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## sam's mum

Emmea12uk said:


> I take it all back! He was a tad bit slow slow but since writing this, he has learnt to clap, wave, screach with excitement, Scream when he wants something, throw a paddy when he doesnt get something, move around the floor on his bum whilst bouncing, twist, turn, pull himself to his knees and pull himself to standing!!!
> 
> Panic over, I am tired already ! lol

:rofl: at the throwing a paddy when he doesn't get something! Bless him...sounds like he's doing amazingly well. Sam's only just learnt to clap a few weeks ago! Hope he's giving you at least some time to rest :lol: x


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## Tegans Mama

Emmea12uk said:


> I take it all back! He was a tad bit slow slow but since writing this, he has learnt to clap, wave, screach with excitement, Scream when he wants something, throw a paddy when he doesnt get something, move around the floor on his bum whilst bouncing, twist, turn, pull himself to his knees and pull himself to standing!!!
> 
> Panic over, I am tired already ! lol

:happydance: I can vouch for him hun, I have been with him every day for a week now.. he is fine!!! A beautiful boy, and I would not say he was behind in any way :) Tigs loves him haha.. And so do we :) I think they are teaching each other things.. We are starting to have paddies when you take things away too, and Tigs is teaching Tom her special babbling skills :lol: Da da da doo doo nunu oohooh pepepe :rofl:


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## ALI

Our Little Lottie Lou did not sit until 16 months and now sits with a better posture better than me. She is still not crawling at 20 months but we are starting to see signs and with the help of her physio are confident she will be within the next couple of months.

It does not matter how long it takes her as we know she will cross that finishing line in the end. Do not fret about milestones, it is not easy being patient but let them do it in their own time.

she has been diagnosed with mild cerebral palsy affecting movement only, which is delaying her, but the physio thinks it will be barely noticeable when older. She just has to work hard at learning movements which come naturally to the average baby . She is s very bright happy and determind little soul and we would not change her for the world.


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## Serene123

Go Tom!! He is doing so, so well x


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## JASMAK

Emmea12uk said:


> I take it all back! He was a tad bit slow slow but since writing this, he has learnt to clap, wave, screach with excitement, Scream when he wants something, throw a paddy when he doesnt get something, move around the floor on his bum whilst bouncing, twist, turn, pull himself to his knees and pull himself to standing!!!
> 
> Panic over, I am tired already ! lol


Yay! Time to lace up those running shoes...


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