# Hb dreams are over *UPDATED with birth*



## Emmea12uk

Sob sob sob. I have woken up this morning after a seventh false labour yesterday absolutely fine. No twinges, nothing. Tomorrow morning is induction day.

Let me take you through my journey to here :

Three years ago I expected my son to be born with spina bifida & hydrocephalus and indeed after a very messy assisted induction he was forcefully removed by forecepts as his heart rate kept stopping and after three days of labour with the cord around his neck he was in a lot of distress. They didn't do a section due to theatre being too full and us not taking priority over the other emergencies. As a result my labour didn't progress after 5 cm even on pitocin and I had the firm belief my son wouldn't make it. They gave me am epi against my wishes as they believed I couldn't do it without.

I came out of all of this with a child who had spinal surgery, brain surgery and a brain hemmorage immediately after birth. Needless to say I was physically and mentally traumatized.

Now, during this pregnancy, the ghosts of what I went through kept creeping back every time I had a scan or an appointment and I started to realise I could not go through that again - not there in that ward. I was diagnosed with very mild gd so all the centers refused me - despite me controlling my sugar well. So I said hb it is then. 

They didn't agree with me - the gd team kept harping on about stillbirths. I think met with every mw and consultant there to be put off but I hired a doula, did my research and put my foot down. The only stipulations in the end were if there was mec or I went over 41 weeks I would have to go to "that" ward.

To be fair - they offered me cbt just in case but rather dissapointingly it never took place.

Here is a lesson for everyone - baby will not come by natural induction methods - I have tried all of these:

Hot chillis & curry
Expressing colostrum
Lots of sex
Loads of rlt
Epo internally and externally
Clarey sage baths, massages and aromatherapy
Birth balls
Walking
Homeopathy - cimi & caul & anti anxiety remedies
Acupuncture
Accupressure
Resting
Keeping the house dark
Hypnotherapy
Sweep


And the results... 7 false labours which stopped when the sun came up!

Now I am in a stupid state of anxiety and panic and because my last child was so sick I can't bravely say no to the induction because I will just panic about her being safe.

My compromise is to discharge myself tomorrow after my induction but I am not holding much hope that will work either. 

I just wanted a moan because all of this is whizzing around in my head and I can't sleep. Time to press on with anti anxiety remedies I think and just pray tomorrow ends with a healthy happy baby who feeds well. Please wish me Luck


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## lozzy21

They cant make you go in to be induced hun, nothing stopping you ringing them up and saying you want to wait a few more days. Its you baby and its your birth. If your feeling stressed about the possible induction your not going to go into labour, adrenalin stops all the labour hormones from being produced.

If you dont feel ready for it then dont do it. Our instincts are there for a reason and are usually right.


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## Emmea12uk

I know this but my anxiety is starting to be about the safety of the baby - no staying at home and delaying is getting too much too.


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## Nikki_d72

Aw good luck hon, I'm sure you can still make it very different and make it your own. I presume your doula will come in with you? That alone should make a big difference. Can you ask them to start slowly on the Pit and only increase bit by bit, rather than whacking it up every 15mins or so? It might only take a wee bit to get you started on your own. I wish I could come up with something wiser...


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## CMarie

I'm so sorry about your first birth :( I can only imagine how scared you are now!

Do you have the option of being monitored at all? I've declined induction until at least 42 weeks and my doctor said that instead she'd send me for ultrasounds every couple days to make sure my LO is still doing ok. I'm not sure how that would go over since you have gd, but it might be worth a shot :)


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## Mervs Mum

You are still in control. You still have a choice x


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## lynnikins

hun you need to be where your are most comfortable for the sake of your baby and yourself i hope your birth partner can support you and back you up at this tough time


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## Emmea12uk

well - i managed to convice a mw at the birth centre to do another sweep and this time she said my cervix was thick and posterior but very soft and stretchy and she could easily get two fingers in. she spent ages in there and said the fontenelle is in the wrong place - baby is and has been lying wrongly due to my weak abdomen - all the weight is not getting pushed on to my cervix at all with my contractions stopping me from progressing. 

so now my moby is on slinging up my belly !!

almost immediately after i had what i think is the last of my plug - it was very bloody and veiny and now i am bleeding a little from the sweep. So fingers crossed! i might just get in there tonight! at least the hope will stop my anxiety for the night.


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## Mervs Mum

Relax yourself into labour now!! No more trying!! :)


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## booflebump

Hope your moby does the trick and bubs sits on your cervix a bit better. That might be all you need to get the hormones going for your contractions. Good luck :hugs:


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## fairywings

Just wanted to say good luck. :) xx


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## Leahmasie

Good luck! I hope it happens soon for you. If you are controlling your sugar very well there should be no worries about waiting until 42 weeks for the induction. I hope you give yourself a few more days.


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## Leahmasie

One more thing I thought of, I saw your impressive list of things you've tried to get labor started, I went though many of them too! Didn't work, but, i had three sweeps and each of them gave me a few hours of contractions, which I do think helped get my body ready.

I didn't try raspberry leaf tea though. I've since read that if you are having contractions lots of raspberry leaf tea (like 1-4 pots, a real lot of tea) will make them more effective. You could try a pot of tea and bouncing on the birth ball today, then another pot this evening, and then either rest for tomorrow, or another pot at night if things are progressing.


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## lousielou

All the best hun - really hope things get going for you xx :hugs:


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## Samantha675

Good luck! Sending :dust:


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## Freya

Release any mental blocks you may still have in place about labour and birth and do your best to relax! Go with it. Sending positive labour vibes Hun. Xxx


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## irish_cob

Good luck, hope you're in proper established labour right now!


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## CMarie

Good luck! I hope the sweep worked :) Keep us posted!!!


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## Croc-O-Dile

:dust: :dust: :dust:
I went into natural labour only 14 hours before my induction. And only an hour after I'd seen my MW and she'd said I was still 1.5cm dilated and baby was not coming that day.
Fx'd you're in labour right now!


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## chuck

Hope all is well hun, don't give in because things have been booked for you, you can cancel just as easily as canceling an appt at the hairdresser.

Hope that sweep and Moby have moved things along!


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## Emmea12uk

Ok so this morning after my eigth night of labour which stopped as soon as I hot up I was ready to compromise! But I get in the hospital and instantly am transformed into a diabetic who can't this and can't that for the sake of my baby. Suddenly there is no compromise!! If I walk out then I give birth at home with no safeguards at all but to meet mr halfway is too risky.

My labour last night left me ripe - too ripe for a pessery. My only induction option is membrane rupture or home. If I go home then I have to put my disabled child through the routine again and sort care for him. If I go ahead with the membrane rupture then I have to give birth in the rooms I had my son in which terrify me. I absolutely can not have a waterbirth and I absolutely cannot go to the birth ward one level up where I am not traumatized. I absolutely can't go home and after only two hours from membrane rupture I absolutely MUST have the pitocin drip - the sane god damn drip that put my son's life at risk and caused the trauma last time leading to forcepts and brain hemmorage.

What the hell place is this?!? I can give birth at home but I can't go up one flight of sodding stairs to an altogether more peaceful place? This is wrong ... So bloody wrong!

I am waiting for the doctors to put my foot down and negotiate a compromise - they let me labor upstairs in peace or they can go fuck themselves - I can't put my son through all this again and I won't put myself into a room I am terrified off. 

I know I am so close and most people would say stay at home but I can't let go of the fact my last labor ended so badly and at home I am an hour away from help. I am no longer relaxed and in the mindset to do it at home - I am exhausted after eight starts and baby still isn't resting on my cervix.


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## irish_cob

Oh hun, my heart breaks for you, how dare they treat you like this :(


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## Emmea12uk

Update! My mw turned up and negotiated with the doctors for me - I can wait for the birth pool room to be free and a good mw and have my amr in there and use the pool. Then after two hours if I make progress I can carry on - if not they will review it but won't pressure me. Means I get a room which doesn't remind me of last time and no one will push me into the drip before I am ready!

Yay! This may however take a day or two because they are too busy. But that is ok! I feel better now!


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## wigglywoo

Brilliant! You must be so relieved. Your MW sounds fab!


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## baby_maybe

I am so glad your midwife is making things happen for you. Good luck with your labour and birth, fx you have your baby safe in your arms soon xxx


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## Mervs Mum

Stick to your guns!!! They will negotiate!! Youve just seen that!! And if they won't threaten to walk out and they will not want that! X


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## Samantha675

Oh good! Much better news! Fingers aremcrossed!


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## lynnikins

oh thats great news that your MW is on side and supporting you


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## Linzi

good news hun well done :hugs: xxx


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## irish_cob

Any update chick? x


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## Nikki_d72

That's great! So glad you have a supportive midwife. xxx GL


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## Samantha675

I hope all is going well!!!


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## Mervs Mum

According to a mutual friend on Facebook baby is here safe and sound after a short labour with just gas and air. :)

Look forward to the full story!! Well done Emma!!


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## Nikki_d72

Yay!


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## Samantha675

That's just brilliant!!!!


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## pester

Yeah! Hy thoughts have been with her. Glad to hear it sounds like things went well


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## LaLaBelle

Holy cow, I am IMPRESSED with how you stuck to your guns there! Way to be a strong woman!

Can't wait for a more detailed birth story.


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## wigglywoo

Congratulations! So pleased for you. Looking forward to the birth story :)


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## fifi-folle

Fantastic!


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## lynnikins

looking forward to the birth story, congrats


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## Emmea12uk

Blow by blow birth story coming up!!

It turns out I was in the best place in the best circumstances which could be achieved in a labor ward! If I was at home my doula and mw would never have made it and my husband would have had to deal with a cord around the neck.

Isobelle Amelia arrived at 8:17 last night weighing 8lb 8 oz. At 14:30 I had my amr in the pool room. I walked for two hours and not much happened - I negotiated another two and within 10 mins I was contracting very closely. An hour later and I was 3 mins apart and lasting 70 seconds. The docs came in and said i wasn't progressing because my contractions werent painful enough and said I had an hour before they would start pitocin! Impatient sods! I told them where to go and the mws went for their break and so did my doula. I breathed through all my contractions peacefully and hypnobirthed. I knew things were going too quick so I kept still on a birth ball. Literally as everyone left, I stood up and my legs went weak - I got onto all fours and felt her decend - my husband could see her head. Within 20 minutes of me standing up, she was out - only my husband believed me when I said I couldnt stop the urge to push. I went from 5cm to delivery in less than 30 minutes!

The cord was around her neck but thankfully very very long so she didn't suffer too bad. After pushing for a few minutes the mws started to panic about her size and shoulder distocis and thankfully my doula only just stopped them from cutting me before I even knew they wanted me to push harder! Another case of "she has gd so she must have...". Bless my doula! Isobelle popped out a few pushes later once we were on the same wave length and I didn't even tear! 

I didn't even manage to get undressed or get in the pool until after the birth. Third stage went like a dream. She was put straight onto my chest all gooey and naked and we were left totally alone for 20 minutes with no clamping when the placenta popped out on it's own with no intervention at all. None of the mws had ever waited until delivery of placenta to clamp a cord. But they respected my wishes entirely. Daddy cut the cord and isobelle found my nipple and latched on her own. After she dropped off we had a bath together in the pool. They didnt touch her for two hours - not even for her checks.

Then we went up to a beautiful private room - my husband had his own bed too. My only complaint is that a loud mw came in at 3am and 6am to do her bg levels and despite isobelle not flinching she forced me to try and feed her when she wasn't hungry twice. Her bg levels were excellent and my boobs did me proud!

I was home at lunchtime.

So all in all - a great compromise and it shows what you can achieve by sticking to your guns and instincts. I am so proud of our achievement - I do wish I had managed to make the whole thing through hypnobirthing alone but the sudden change from my three minute contractions to the sudden urge to push was a massive shock to me! Next time I will be expecting it!


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## Linzi

huge congrats hun & well done for sticking to your guns. lovely story!! hope you're all settling in nicely. What does tommy think of his new sister? xxx


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## Emmea12uk

Linzi said:


> huge congrats hun & well done for sticking to your guns. lovely story!! hope you're all settling in nicely. What does tommy think of his new sister? xxx

She has been a dream - tom was brilliant. Very very pleased to meet her - so many hugs and kisses and gifts. His nan kept him up late and let him get up at 5am for two days so he turned into an overtired monster very very quickly!


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## Pippin

Gorgeous story hun, are you home now? xxx


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## Samantha675

That is so wonderful! I am so happy and proud for you!


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## Mervs Mum

You rock!!!! Well done!!!! Xx


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## chuck

wow!

great stuff missus, you were amazing!


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## Tegans Mama

Congratulations, you did so well :cloud9:


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## Bumpontherun

Congratulations:hugs: Well done for sticking up for yourself, I'm so glad you nowh have a positive birth story to think of next time:thumbup:


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## becsparkel

Just sounds brilliant, well done and big congrats on your beautiful baby girl! x


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## Nikki_d72

Huge congratulations! Well done you for sticking to your guns in a difficult situation, hopefully those MW's will have a rethink on some of their normal practices now too. You're a legend! xxx


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## lynnikins

congrats hun, sounds like a lovely birth


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## 5-a-side

Congratulations and welcome baby Isobelle :flower:


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## Luzelle

Congratulations, and so proud of you for sticking to what you wanted. I'm glad that you had a much better experience this time round!!


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## fairywings

Congrats, sounds like it all went OK in the end. :) x


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## fides

congratulations!


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## Jodie.82

wow well done to you, so glad your birth turned out so positive in the end :) cant believe they would have cut you and you didnt even tear! x


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## Nyn

congratulations and well done!!! xxx


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## kdea547

Congratulations on the birth of your baby girl. It sounds wonderful and hopefully it eases the trauma of your son's birth.


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## madasa

It sounds wonderful! Probably the nicest hospy birth story I can remember reading.... Well done you, definitely an achievement in these days :flower: Congrats on your little one and enjoy your babymoon :D

PS. Someone might have already said this, but lots of babies are born with the cord round their neck btw. :)

https://midwifethinking.com/2010/07/29/nuchal-cords/


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