# Experience in UK with the CSA or CMS?



## Meezerowner

Has anyone had experience with the CSA or CMS?

I applied to the CMS at beginning of November and so far they have been really helpful and the process has been easy. I wanted to set up payments that they will collect from FOB and pass to me as he cannot be trusted to make payments any other way.

They had some issues sorting it all out at the beginning mostly because when I applied he was working but he then lost his job and is now claiming benefits. The staff handling my case have been really helpful and apologetic about it taking so long to sort out. 

I was just wondering how long it usually takes to get payments. After all it is now 5 months on and I haven't received any money. 
It's not a lot of money about £350 for the 1st month and then about £28 a month since he's been on benefits. 
But I could use it atm as I'm getting ready to move and have a lot of costs coming up for solicitors and removals and settling up bills etc.

Anyways does this seem like a long time or is it pretty usual? Also at what point do they *force* him to pay i.e. take him to court etc.

I'm going to ring them again tomorrow to see what's going on. Just wondered if this was the norm or whether I have been a bit too relaxed and I should be chasing them more.

Thanks.


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## babycrazy1706

Stalking this thread. Hope they sort your payments soon. Sorry no advice as I've not used the csa.....yet! Xx


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## babycrazy1706

Omg just realised you've got twins!! You definitely need those payments soon! <3


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## Meezerowner

babycrazy1706 said:


> Omg just realised you've got twins!! You definitely need those payments soon! <3

:haha: yeah twins = expensive!
2 x equipment
2 x nappies
2 x wasted food


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## babycrazy1706

I can imagine!! 

:rofl: at wasted food. Its true though! Haha


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## Meezerowner

babycrazy1706 said:


> I can imagine!!
> 
> :rofl: at wasted food. Its true though! Haha

Yep. I cooked a lovely pasta bake for lunch. Apparently they do not care for leeks so they systematically threw it on the floor piece by piece.
"Fine have some bread sticks then...very nutritious!". :dohh:


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## babycrazy1706

I go through the same thing daily!!! :dohh:


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## Meezerowner

Ok so I phoned the CMS today.

They said the problem has been getting the money deducted from his benefits. Apparently everytime they send a request it comes back with an automatic rejection. They are still investigating this. It sounds a bit weird to me as I thought it would be quite common for them to deduct money in this way.

The bad news was that since he is on benefits they can't *demand* the arrears (£450) from him. I will have to wait until he gets a job for them to request that. 
So even if the money does start to flow it's only gonna be a measly £7.10 a week :wacko: hardly even worth it really!

I just have to hope he finds another job soon and declares it.


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## babycrazy1706

Aw that's disappointing :(

Still follow through though Hun as it is better than nothing.... £369 a year could help out with Christmas. Hope he gets a job soon!!!!!


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## Dezireey

I have been dealing a lot with the CSA recently. At first it was going well (had letters saying money would be deducted on such a such date etc) but it was all hot air. Basically my FOB is in extreme denial about all of it. Its like he is actually really pretending he is not a father and all this is of no concern of his, he is bonkers frankly. He is just completely ignoring them. Okay, this does make things difficult for me as he is fighting it with silence. This time around he has not sent them a letter back, denying paternity. 

I believe he thinks they will just go away, they won't as long as I keep in contact with CSA wanting child support. Now, the guy I spoke to recently was super helpful but told me that CSA go through stages, they obviously have to make contact with the father and wait a certain amount of time for a response. They then have to arrange calculations through him and get details from him etc etc. So, he knows how to beat the system, temporarily. They told me, child support is like any debt, e.g with a bank or company...it just won't go away and arrears acrue. So my stupid ex, who thinks hes above it all, will face a shitload of hassle if he keeps this up. Instead of paying a small amount of what he can afford, they do a guess estimate of wages based on his job role and they just wait until a certain amount of arrears kicks in and then........everything is passed to the enforcement team, apparently they mean business. They have far more information and the means to track down someone than the finance department. So, lets watch this space and see what happens to my ex when enforcement comes down on his back. :haha:.....his previous partner that he has been avoiding child support to didn't take it that far apparently. 

Hope that info has been of some help? feel free to PM me if you have questions, happy to help if I can.

Basically hun, as long as YOU are in contact with CMS/CSA and want child support, they will hound him forever to get it, that's their job. They may take time on some stuff but just keep calling them for updates and progress every so often.


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## Snow Owl

It hugely depends on him :(

We're on the other side, we got the letter at Christmas to say a new claim had been opened (moving to cms from CSA) and the first payment went out beginning of February.

But then we arnt on benefits and returned the paperwork in days 

Good luck


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## Meezerowner

Dezireey said:


> I have been dealing a lot with the CSA recently. At first it was going well (had letters saying money would be deducted on such a such date etc) but it was all hot air. Basically my FOB is in extreme denial about all of it. Its like he is actually really pretending he is not a father and all this is of no concern of his, he is bonkers frankly. He is just completely ignoring them. Okay, this does make things difficult for me as he is fighting it with silence. This time around he has not sent them a letter back, denying paternity.
> 
> I believe he thinks they will just go away, they won't as long as I keep in contact with CSA wanting child support. Now, the guy I spoke to recently was super helpful but told me that CSA go through stages, they obviously have to make contact with the father and wait a certain amount of time for a response. They then have to arrange calculations through him and get details from him etc etc. So, he knows how to beat the system, temporarily. They told me, child support is like any debt, e.g with a bank or company...it just won't go away and arrears acrue. So my stupid ex, who thinks hes above it all, will face a shitload of hassle if he keeps this up. Instead of paying a small amount of what he can afford, they do a guess estimate of wages based on his job role and they just wait until a certain amount of arrears kicks in and then........everything is passed to the enforcement team, apparently they mean business. They have far more information and the means to track down someone than the finance department. So, lets watch this space and see what happens to my ex when enforcement comes down on his back. :haha:.....his previous partner that he has been avoiding child support to didn't take it that far apparently.
> 
> Hope that info has been of some help? feel free to PM me if you have questions, happy to help if I can.
> 
> Basically hun, as long as YOU are in contact with CMS/CSA and want child support, they will hound him forever to get it, that's their job. They may take time on some stuff but just keep calling them for updates and progress every so often.

Thanks for your reply.

Have you actually seen a penny yet and when did you apply?
Did your FOB originally deny paternity - how scummy. 

It's good to know the arrears do just keep piling up. I think I'm gonna make a habit of ringing them every couple of weeks but I guess it's still early days.


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## Karren

Meezerowner said:


> Dezireey said:
> 
> 
> I have been dealing a lot with the CSA recently. At first it was going well (had letters saying money would be deducted on such a such date etc) but it was all hot air. Basically my FOB is in extreme denial about all of it. Its like he is actually really pretending he is not a father and all this is of no concern of his, he is bonkers frankly. He is just completely ignoring them. Okay, this does make things difficult for me as he is fighting it with silence. This time around he has not sent them a letter back, denying paternity.
> 
> I believe he thinks they will just go away, they won't as long as I keep in contact with CSA wanting child support. Now, the guy I spoke to recently was super helpful but told me that CSA go through stages, they obviously have to make contact with the father and wait a certain amount of time for a response. They then have to arrange calculations through him and get details from him etc etc. So, he knows how to beat the system, temporarily. They told me, child support is like any debt, e.g with a bank or company...it just won't go away and arrears acrue. So my stupid ex, who thinks hes above it all, will face a shitload of hassle if he keeps this up. Instead of paying a small amount of what he can afford, they do a guess estimate of wages based on his job role and they just wait until a certain amount of arrears kicks in and then........everything is passed to the enforcement team, apparently they mean business. They have far more information and the means to track down someone than the finance department. So, lets watch this space and see what happens to my ex when enforcement comes down on his back. :haha:.....his previous partner that he has been avoiding child support to didn't take it that far apparently.
> 
> Hope that info has been of some help? feel free to PM me if you have questions, happy to help if I can.
> 
> Basically hun, as long as YOU are in contact with CMS/CSA and want child support, they will hound him forever to get it, that's their job. They may take time on some stuff but just keep calling them for updates and progress every so often.
> 
> Thanks for your reply.
> 
> Have you actually seen a penny yet and when did you apply?
> Did your FOB originally deny paternity - how scummy.
> 
> It's good to know the arrears do just keep piling up. I think I'm gonna make a habit of ringing them every couple of weeks but I guess it's still early days.Click to expand...

It does stack up, the longer they go the worse for them it is.

You can also "Back date" it to the date you opened up the case.

Thats what I did and my ex is now in a hell of a lot of arrears. :happydance:

He quit his job thinking that would get him out of it, he was wrong, entirely his own fault.


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## Meezerowner

Snow Owl said:


> It hugely depends on him :(
> 
> We're on the other side, we got the letter at Christmas to say a new claim had been opened (moving to cms from CSA) and the first payment went out beginning of February.
> 
> But then we arnt on benefits and returned the paperwork in days
> 
> Good luck

If there is any paperwork to do I know FOB wont have done it. He is soooo slow at doing anything and always leaves important stuff till the last possible minute.

My conveyancer commented that he is burying his head in the sand as he never replies to any of her letters regarding our house sale. 
He just can't be bothered sorting any of his mess out and leaves it all to me to do. :growlmad:


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## Meezerowner

Karren said:


> It does stack up, the longer they go the worse for them it is.
> 
> You can also "Back date" it to the date you opened up the case.
> 
> Thats what I did and my ex is now in a hell of a lot of arrears. :happydance:
> 
> He quit his job thinking that would get him out of it, he was wrong, entirely his own fault.

I can't get over how many people say that their FOBs quit their jobs to avoid maintainance.

If the tables were turned and I had to pay maintainance for MY child/ren there is no way that I would stop work. It seems crazy to me.

It shows how spiteful some people are when all they care about is hurting their Ex regardless of the fact that they are hurting themselves and more importantly their children who have done nothing wrong. 

I think a lot of men are deluded and hope that the problem will go away. :wacko:

Unfortunately my FOB actually lost his (well paid) job due to a criminal charge and he is awaiting sentencing still. I think he will prob stay on benefits until he knows what is going to happen to him (there is a chance he could get a custodial sentence). After that I hope he does go out and get a job again as the maintainance from benefits is measly.


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## babycrazy1706

Meezerowner said:


> Karren said:
> 
> 
> It does stack up, the longer they go the worse for them it is.
> 
> You can also "Back date" it to the date you opened up the case.
> 
> Thats what I did and my ex is now in a hell of a lot of arrears. :happydance:
> 
> He quit his job thinking that would get him out of it, he was wrong, entirely his own fault.
> 
> I can't get over how many people say that their FOBs quit their jobs to avoid maintainance.Click to expand...

I was just about to write this too!!!!!

It's ABSOLUTELY absurd that men think that is a way out and just SO incredibly dumb!!! You want to give up your job so you don't have to pay child support but you giving up your job means you won't have any money for yourself either!!!! OMG how fucking stupid can you get!!!!?????


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## Dezireey

To be honest its exactly like a company calling and calling you and sending letters because you are in debt and owe them money, only its far worse as this is a debt for life ( if some stupid men let it go that far, they end up paying arrears in child support when their kid is an adult, duh!) CSA also has far more power than a co.pany you owe money to, no, it doesnt just give you a bad credit rating, they can send the bailiffs in, take your driving license off you, chuck.you in prison etc. 

I dont know about you ladies, but if I have ever had a debt I cant afford ( and its happened in the past) I have managed to contact them and organise some sort of small payment on a regular basis and be honest on what I can afford. I understand some FOB's are broke but that doesnt give them a 'choice' to opt out paying for their child. 

I am sick and tired ( well not now but previously) of my ex treating me like I got pregnant by some other wordly organisation that had nothing to do with him and the sheer audacity at his behaviour about it all and him thinking hes the victim...... bonkers. He is the one now with this debt hanging over him, not me, so its his life he is messing up now, not ours. 

Forgot to mention that he has learned all the tricks of avoiding child support because of the secret child ( that he never told me about) including using aliases and not his real name over the internet etc. But, like I said, enforcement officers never acted on it, but they are now, so to be honest, he really deserves whats coming to him to treat two kids of his own in this way.


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## Meezerowner

Dezireey said:


> To be honest its exactly like a company calling and calling you and sending letters because you are in debt and owe them money, only its far worse as this is a debt for life ( if some stupid men let it go that far, they end up paying arrears in child support when their kid is an adult, duh!) CSA also has far more power than a co.pany you owe money to, no, it doesnt just give you a bad credit rating, they can send the bailiffs in, take your driving license off you, chuck.you in prison etc.
> 
> I dont know about you ladies, but if I have ever had a debt I cant afford ( and its happened in the past) I have managed to contact them and organise some sort of small payment on a regular basis and be honest on what I can afford. I understand some FOB's are broke but that doesnt give them a 'choice' to opt out paying for their child.
> 
> I am sick and tired ( well not now but previously) of my ex treating me like I got pregnant by some other wordly organisation that had nothing to do with him and the sheer audacity at his behaviour about it all and him thinking hes the victim...... bonkers. He is the one now with this debt hanging over him, not me, so its his life he is messing up now, not ours.
> 
> Forgot to mention that he has learned all the tricks of avoiding child support because of the secret child ( that he never told me about) including using aliases and not his real name over the internet etc. But, like I said, enforcement officers never acted on it, but they are now, so to be honest, he really deserves whats coming to him to treat two kids of his own in this way.

Why did he try and hide the other child was it literally to avoid paying?
I can't believe that he claimed the kid was dead..... that is so cold. Does he have to pay for that child now do you know. He sounds very sly and a bit creepy. You are defo better off without him. 

Tell you what I'm *worried* about atm is that my FOB being unemployed and on benefits will be trying all sorts of things to get money. I know he is trying to sell stuff he's made on Ebay - like a mini-business. I bet he's not declaring that to anyone. So he could be making money and they will never know.

I'm glad that the CSA keep hounding these people though. They need to face up to their responsibilities. I just don't know how anyone with a conscience can knowingly ignore their obligations like that.


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## Dezireey

The whole time I was with him, he never once mentioned a child, infact I remember asking him when I met him if he had kids ( we were both in our late 30's then,so I expected it) and he said 'nope, I hate kids'.Which I thought was a bit extreme. He just didn't like kids, which was fine by me as at the time, I wasnt fussed on having any and two Doctors had told me I couldnt ( endometriosis, fibroids etc). It shocked me when I got pregnant but there was no way I was not keeping my baby and when we talked about it, he came out with this sobbing story about having a boy, who he brought up without the mother, who left them, and then this child died age 5. I was in total shock and couldnt understand why you would not tell someone you are dating such a HUGE secret. He was crying and everything, so I believed him. Then because this sob story still didnt change my mind ( which I think was his intention), he dumped me saying he couldnt cope with being a father and that he was terrible at it. 

Called CSA a few months later and they tell me he has a child very much alive, not dead and that they are dealing with his case. Found out from them recently, that he has a history of non- compliance of payment for that case. 

It just boggles my mind the stuff this guy has come out with. I know its been two years but he has met someone new now and her 10 year old son and teenage daughter are calling him Dad, whilst my son, his actual child ( and probably the other one) get no money off him and he has nothing to do with them.....he is sick in the head, truly warped view on life and I am glad he is gone to be honest. I made a huge mistake getting involved with him but it resulted in the most amazing little boy, so in a different way, because of my LO, I have no regrets now.


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## Meezerowner

Dezireey said:


> The whole time I was with him, he never once mentioned a child, infact I remember asking him when I met him if he had kids ( we were both in our late 30's then,so I expected it) and he said 'nope, I hate kids'.Which I thought was a bit extreme. He just didn't like kids, which was fine by me as at the time, I wasnt fussed on having any and two Doctors had told me I couldnt ( endometriosis, fibroids etc). It shocked me when I got pregnant but there was no way I was not keeping my baby and when we talked about it, he came out with this sobbing story about having a boy, who he brought up without the mother, who left them, and then this child died age 5. I was in total shock and couldnt understand why you would not tell someone you are dating such a HUGE secret. He was crying and everything, so I believed him. Then because this sob story still didnt change my mind ( which I think was his intention), he dumped me saying he couldnt cope with being a father and that he was terrible at it.
> 
> Called CSA a few months later and they tell me he has a child very much alive, not dead and that they are dealing with his case. Found out from them recently, that he has a history of non- compliance of payment for that case.
> 
> It just boggles my mind the stuff this guy has come out with. I know its been two years but he has met someone new now and her 10 year old son and teenage daughter are calling him Dad, whilst my son, his actual child ( and probably the other one) get no money off him and he has nothing to do with them.....he is sick in the head, truly warped view on life and I am glad he is gone to be honest. I made a huge mistake getting involved with him but it resulted in the most amazing little boy, so in a different way, because of my LO, I have no regrets now.

That's such a bizarre story - he is a special sort of crazy.

It's so horrible that he said his child was dead though - I can't get over how cold and weird that is.

And then to get a new woman with children in tow.... so much for hating children! I feel sorry for her because if he told you all those lies what the hell has he been saying to her? I bet she doesn't know half of what's been going on.

Your last sentence is exactly how I feel about my FOB. I was with him for 8 years and sometimes I feel like he stole that time from me.... but when I really think about it I would do it all again because I have my two little girls who are magic.
My FOB has another kid now with the woman he cheated on me with - that baby is only 6 months younger than my two. :wacko:


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## Dezireey

Hmmm and society is baffled sometimes when so many women hate men? LOL, crazy men out there.

What makes me laugh is my ex ( and some other ex's I have read about on here) accuse the women they got pregnant of being crazy, stalkers, nuts etc. Purely because we are harassing them for answers, child support or help of some kind etc. 

Duh, wake up guys, its not like a normal break up, there is a child involved??? 

Sorry he treated you this way, but I totally understand what you are going through and it certainly didnt help me when people get saying 'get over it etc' . Its one of those things in life where no-one could possibly understand what you are going through unless they have gone through it themselves. Its a different kind of hurt and tough to get through. Women are tough, we get through it eventually because our kids just make us happy and smile.


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## Meezerowner

Dezireey said:


> Hmmm and society is baffled sometimes when so many women hate men? LOL, crazy men out there.
> 
> What makes me laugh is my ex ( and some other ex's I have read about on here) accuse the women they got pregnant of being crazy, stalkers, nuts etc. Purely because we are harassing them for answers, child support or help of some kind etc.
> 
> Duh, wake up guys, its not like a normal break up, there is a child involved???
> 
> Sorry he treated you this way, but I totally understand what you are going through and it certainly didnt help me when people get saying 'get over it etc' . Its one of those things in life where no-one could possibly understand what you are going through unless they have gone through it themselves. Its a different kind of hurt and tough to get through. Women are tough, we get through it eventually because our kids just make us happy and smile.

Yes I think a lot of men try and cover up their bad deeds by maintaining the woman was crazy.... " look she is stalking me etc". They try and make themselves look good particularly to their next victim/girlfriend by saying "it wasnt me it was her - she's the crazy one".

With my FOB he defo didnt want ANYONE knowing what had gone on cos he didnt want to look bad even though he'd been a total scumbag and realised it.

He covered up the fact I was pregnant from all of his friends and colleagues and didn't want me talking to anyone... incase they discovered what a little sh*t he really was.
I remember him saying when I asked what I should do if I went into labour whilst he was at work. He said to make sure I didn't tell them who I was and to say I was his Mum and there was a family emergency :shrug:
He was dating his "other woman" (a colleague) by this time and she was already pregnant. 

I'm pretty sure he's telling everyone lies about how we broke up and I also reckon not a lot of people know that I have his 2 children. 

He is the master of lies, deception and concealment.

EDIT to add:
I agree women are strong though..... I am so much better and happier without him and I pity his GF/victim - I really do. I didn't realise how bad it was until he was gone.

I have just completed a "Year with no Tears" it's been a year since I cried... a weird achievement. Cos he used to make me cry on a regular basis during the relationship.
The last time I cried was March 2013 when he broke into the house and scared us all nearly to death.
Not saying that not crying is healthy ..... but it is an achievement in happiness for me!


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## Dezireey

Gosh, what a tool! How can he go through life hiding two kids? So the other woman is having his child and doesn't know about you? Same here with my FOB, don't know what cockamaney story he must have told people but he would get totally freaked if I threatened to tell people about our son. I did end up telling loads of people, got no response from anyone but even if he fobbed them off with a lie, they have that seed of doubt in their mind about him everytime he does something selfish or weird... they will start believing my story is actuay true after all, the longer they get to know him. Same with your ex hun, he cant hide it forever and it will bite him in the ass one day. Cant see a good future for this other woman and her child either to be honest. He has happily left one set of kids, so he is capable of doing it again. That is what I think about my FOB, he gave me the feeling of 'why are you making such a big deal out of all this?' Now I realise its because he left another child before, so easy to do it again.

Glad the tears have gone, totally relate to that, spent many months just crying about it all and will never, ever, understand how someone could be so cruel. You will find happiness again, when you are ready and settled in yourself, it will come and a great future awaits us hun xxx hugs xxx


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## xxsteffyxx

For me it's now been two years and since then I have had very broken payments, £5 here, £10 there... But ex has paid £220 in 2 years. He is £700 in arrears and he is on benefits


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## Dezireey

I have to admit, the actual process of having CSA involved and the fact that my ex knows now that I am not backing down and I want child support.period, has been sufficient for me, even if I get nothing, ever. Its just the principle of it sometimes and it helps with closure. Its like saying ' I never have to contact him again, lets just leave it with CSA, let them harrass him for life and be done with it'

No matter how much you love your ex ladies and / or dont want to fall out with him or for him to think badly of you, you MUST get child support asap when you have the freshest information on him. 

If I would have ignored his lies, I would have got some money in the start when he was actually working for a national company that would have just deducted from his wages. He is now self employed, which is much harder, especially when they dont register with the tax office. 

The moment that baby is born and if that man refuses or avoids helping you financially , get straight on the phone with CSA as you will regret it in the future, trust me. Best advice I could give.


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## Meezerowner

Dezireey said:


> I have to admit, the actual process of having CSA involved and the fact that my ex knows now that I am not backing down and I want child support.period, has been sufficient for me, even if I get nothing, ever. Its just the principle of it sometimes and it helps with closure. Its like saying ' I never have to contact him again, lets just leave it with CSA, let them harrass him for life and be done with it'
> 
> No matter how much you love your ex ladies and / or dont want to fall out with him or for him to think badly of you, you MUST get child support asap when you have the freshest information on him.
> 
> If I would have ignored his lies, I would have got some money in the start when he was actually working for a national company that would have just deducted from his wages. He is now self employed, which is much harder, especially when they dont register with the tax office.
> 
> The moment that baby is born and if that man refuses or avoids helping you financially , get straight on the phone with CSA as you will regret it in the future, trust me. Best advice I could give.

True.
I wish I'd applied sooner. 

Unfortunately I think there is a bit of social stigma surrounding applying to the CMS. At least that's what I felt. Everywhere seemed to encourage private mediation and agreements and it was implied that to go through the CMS was bad and it made the woman look like a bitch. 

Private agreements are fine and dandy if you are dealing with "normal" considerate Dads who want to take responsibilty. However they are completely useless if you are dealing with a lying, irresponsible "difficult" person.

Anyway I learned my lesson. It's not bad to apply it's the responsible thing to do and it means that the arrears will keep mounting no matter what he does.

I am also glad that I don't have to deal with the aggravation. They chase him and that's enough for me also.


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## Meezerowner

xxsteffyxx said:


> For me it's now been two years and since then I have had very broken payments, £5 here, £10 there... But ex has paid £220 in 2 years. He is £700 in arrears and he is on benefits

It's annoying how they can't chase for the arrears whilst they are on benefits isn't it. But at least you know that if he ever gets a job he will have to start paying you back.


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## xxsteffyxx

I wish that was the case Hun. They have found him working several times, and then once they attach an attachment of earnings on his wages he quits his job. So I have never got more then £5 from him at a time x


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## Meezerowner

xxsteffyxx said:


> I wish that was the case Hun. They have found him working several times, and then once they attach an attachment of earnings on his wages he quits his job. So I have never got more then £5 from him at a time x

So is he quitting deliberately to not pay? I really cannot get my head around this way of thinking! :wacko:

How frustrating!


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## Dezireey

Meezerowner said:


> xxsteffyxx said:
> 
> 
> I wish that was the case Hun. They have found him working several times, and then once they attach an attachment of earnings on his wages he quits his job. So I have never got more then £5 from him at a time x
> 
> So is he quitting deliberately to not pay? I really cannot get my head around this way of thinking! :wacko:
> 
> How frustrating!Click to expand...


Totally happens a lot I am guessing. Didnt even know my FOB had a child before I got pregnant, now I know why he never used his real name on the internet or on facebook just nicknames, he flitted from job to job ( I just thought he was getting more qualified and moving up as each job paid more than the last) and lots of other weird things like having no fixed address and not being on the electorol role for years. It all adds up and me being pregnant probably made him go totally over the edge.

Its just bonkers really. They are creating their own problems and seem to think that the CSA cant touch them. The guy I spoke to said they never give up on an FOB, even if it takes years. 

Basically if an FOB avoids child support for e.g six years and then thinks 'yey, I have got away with it' and then gets a full time job, boom, their NI number gets flagged up and CSA get on their case again.

Its a crazy way to live your life to be honest, almost like a bloody fugitive who can never get a proper job....:wacko: crazy men, really stupid idiots :dohh:


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## xxsteffyxx

That seems to be the technic he is using to get out of paying more maintenance but because it cannot be proved nothing can be done about it.

He admits during visits he is working for agency when they have work for him, even though he is signing on. I have done everything possible to report this fraud, but so car nothing has been done about it xx


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## Mummy1995

Dezireey said:


> I have to admit, the actual process of having CSA involved and the fact that my ex knows now that I am not backing down and I want child support.period, has been sufficient for me, even if I get nothing, ever. Its just the principle of it sometimes and it helps with closure. Its like saying ' I never have to contact him again, lets just leave it with CSA, let them harrass him for life and be done with it'
> 
> No matter how much you love your ex ladies and / or dont want to fall out with him or for him to think badly of you, you MUST get child support asap when you have the freshest information on him.
> 
> If I would have ignored his lies, I would have got some money in the start when he was actually working for a national company that would have just deducted from his wages. He is now self employed, which is much harder, especially when they dont register with the tax office.
> 
> The moment that baby is born and if that man refuses or avoids helping you financially , get straight on the phone with CSA as you will regret it in the future, trust me. Best advice I could give.

I'm counting down the days until I can apply in September :thumbup: :haha: x


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## Meezerowner

Update on my original post:

I got my first payment through - £7 paid into my bank account :happydance: So it took just under 6 months since I first applied.

A letter confirmed it will be £28.50 month from now on which they can now take directly from his benefits. So looks like they have sorted it.
Also confirmed that the arrears are now at £422 but they can't ask him for that yet.

£28.50 doesn't even keep the children in nappies for a month though :growlmad:
Can't help thinking he'll be smug that I'm not getting much. It is very frustrating seeing as when I last knew about his affairs he had over 9k squirrelled away. He may have had to use that though in the last couple of years but knowing him I doubt he will have coughed up much.... he was always very tight with money.


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## xxsteffyxx

I get £5 a week from his benefits and he is £800+ in arrears. In surprised that they can take more then £5 a week from him x


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## Meezerowner

xxsteffyxx said:


> I get £5 a week from his benefits and he is £800+ in arrears. In surprised that they can take more then £5 a week from him x

Mmm dunno maybe because it's for two children? 
It should have been more but they have to take into account he has another baby with his new woman. So there is a deduction for that also.

I just hope he gets a job again ASAP. 

£5 or £7 is just a joke really in the grand scheme of things. It's almost insulting. As it is always us picking up all the bills and extreme expenses. Still it's better than a kick in the teeth :haha:


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## Dezireey

Meezerowner said:


> Update on my original post:
> 
> I got my first payment through - £7 paid into my bank account :happydance: So it took just under 6 months since I first applied.
> 
> A letter confirmed it will be £28.50 month from now on which they can now take directly from his benefits. So looks like they have sorted it.
> Also confirmed that the arrears are now at £422 but they can't ask him for that yet.
> 
> £28.50 doesn't even keep the children in nappies for a month though :growlmad:
> Can't help thinking he'll be smug that I'm not getting much. It is very frustrating seeing as when I last knew about his affairs he had over 9k squirrelled away. He may have had to use that though in the last couple of years but knowing him I doubt he will have coughed up much.... he was always very tight with money.

Congratulations hun, that's good news. :thumbup: Shame you can't get more but at least the bugger is paying something now :happydance:


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## babycrazy1706

How did you originally get in contact with the cms? I've been looking online today and can't find anything. 

My ex told me he didn't have any money a few weeks ago and told me today he might be going to Alton towers (theme park) tomorrow!! I've seen red. I'm fuming. 

I've sent him a text saying funny how you have money for a social life. He's coming tomorrow for Eli so I'm gona have it out with him.

Feel like ripping his head off. Selfish *******.


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## Meezerowner

babycrazy1706 said:


> How did you originally get in contact with the cms? I've been looking online today and can't find anything.
> 
> My ex told me he didn't have any money a few weeks ago and told me today he might be going to Alton towers (theme park) tomorrow!! I've seen red. I'm fuming.
> 
> I've sent him a text saying funny how you have money for a social life. He's coming tomorrow for Eli so I'm gona have it out with him.
> 
> Feel like ripping his head off. Selfish *******.

I applied by ringing the CSA number for the midlands (nearest area to me) but this was just a few weeks before the CSA stopped taking new cases so I think it's changed now. When they set up my case it ended up being with the new CMS route anyway.

Now I think you have to contact "child maintainance options" and they will explain what your options are and presumably give you the number for the CMS new claims.

When I rang child maintainance options I didnt find them awfully helpful but they should be able to give you the number to call.

Re your Ex: that is so selfish going out for a jolly day but telling you he's broke! Men always seem to find the cash for their fun-times but not for their children. :wacko:


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## babycrazy1706

Thanks hun! Yeh he's an idiot!


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