# Feeling Broody



## BroodyTeen

*Hey everybody
i'm 18 & i'm on the pill, only thing is i'm very broody..
i am mature and would love to try for a baby with my boyfriend, we've been together almost a year: 1st November 2010 we got together, so ye almost a year now but i don't understand why the pill is making me more broody and i just feel the need to look at baby clothes, cots ect.. on the internet and when i'm out shopping i also look at baby stuff then to  
anybody got any advice?x*


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## wwchix

Its not the pill, its natural reaction. I've felt broody since I was 15, I'm 20 now and me and my OH are waiting until we have our debts cleared before trying. We are getting married next year and own our own house.

Whilst you may feel mature enough for a baby, you need to make sure you are financially and mentally stable enough for a baby.

You need the right environment to bring a baby into. A stable relationship and living together are what my main goals were. And obviously you need to be in a good job as does your OH, and you need to know you can afford to live when you leave for maternity.

Its not as simple as just having a baby, unless you want to go down the route of benefits, which I'm sure any person would avoid if they could.


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## BroodyTeen

thank you for the advice, i totally get where you are coming from.. we both have jobs, we just don't live together right now

again, thank you so much for the advice


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## Pink elephant

I know how you feel. I was insanely broody at your age and I still am now (22). There were times when I would pray for an accident and thought it would be such a blessing. But...I am so glad I have waited. It's so hard, but even when you feel like you are mature and ready, I look back and think how much I've grown and changed in those few years. I also think about how I want the best for my child (not neccessarly financially) but to be the best person I can be so that I can set an example for them. Also, you want to think about what you will do with your life when they have grown up and left. I realise now that when I was 18/19 I didn't really have a good understanding of my identity/what kind of a person I wanted to be. I think for most people early twenties are the time that your identity establishes itself more firmly. 
It might help you (like it has helped me) to write a list of things you want to do/to be in place before you start a family. 
I think being with your partner for a few more years and living with them would help you decide whether your relationship can withstand the tough trial of child.
Another thing which occasionally helps to quiten my broody-ness is spending the weekend with my young nieces. It is absolutely exhausting. When I get home I appreciate time to myself and getting to have a lie-in. 
To me having a baby will be the most exciting thing in the world, but for now I am going to enjoy being young and improving myself as a person so that I am worthy of the amazing little beings that I will one day be responsible for :D


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## I Love Lucy

How long have you been on the pill? Some pills have side effects that can effect the mood. I switched to ortho tri cyclen lo awhile ago and became very depressed during the first month, especially with the topic of babies since I would love to try for kids now. 

What makes it easier is focusing on other things. OH and I are looking forward to buying our first home together and we're both trying to clear up some of our debt. Are you and your OH living together? Perhaps that could be something you could think about. It's a big step in your relationship and would give you something to look forward to.


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## LovemyBubx

I felt just like this since i was quite young, i met my OH when i was 16, fell pregnant at 18 & had my daughter at 19. 

I def gave in to my broodyness & thankfully things have worked out pretty well for us me & OH are going strong & i would never change having my daughter so young, 

but i wish there were things we had before we had a baby, i wish we had a car, i wish we didn't have to wait on the council list to get our own place (i would of prefered a mortgage) i wish we had more savings & i wish me & OH had a holiday by ourselves. 

So even though i don't regret our decision one bit, i wish that we had waited longer & i think we were a bit selfish even though i knew it was what we both wanted when i got pregnant & i knew we would do anything for her i just wish we had more at the time. 

So my advice to you is to think more about just how you would feel with a baby & if you can get all the baby things. 

Think about if you could live with your OH everyday for the rest of your life? 

How would you feel if things between you & OH didn't work out & you had to give time to your OH with your baby with you not being there? 

Not sure if you can drive? but would you be able to get to places with a buggy easily e.g. i love to take my daughter swimming but its so hard to get to cause i can't drive. 

Would you be able to afford private housing? being on the council list takes so long & you often get let down 

theres just so many things to think about, but if you'd like to ask me anything im more then happy to share more advice with you cause i completly understand how you feel x


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## bornthiswayxo

I know how you feel... I flit in between wanting to go ahead with it or be more sensible a wait a bit longer... but to be honest it is a natural reaction... I've felt this way on and off since 14. <3


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## trinaestella

I've been broody from the age of 15 and I just didn't know why, so when I got to 18 I didn't take precautions with my partner and tried for a baby, but secretly without him knowing even though I was supposed to go on the pill.. 

After that I realised, that having a baby wasn't what I should be doing at my age and I should be studying and living my life.. but I was still so depressed in life and a baby is what I wanted still. Eventually I got the pill, but had to wait for my next period.. and that period never came, yes I was pregnant and I still have that pill which expires in 2013 so I am going to take it after I have my baby girl..

Although I was so excited when I found out, I was devastated at the same time and just couldn't understand why because it was literally something I prayed for :nope:

Speaking from experience, I can honestly say that it is hard work adjusting to the fact you are having a baby, make sure you are in a proper relationship.. I am, but the problem is his family they just won't accept me or the baby and I feel bad because I want the best for my child, I am struggling with money yet my baby has everything she will need.. but it's so hard still, without my mother I would have probably not even been here.. especially since my father died this year when I was 5 months.

I am not encouraging teenage pregnancy, but I am just saying that having a baby can be a good thing as much as a bad thing but mostly good, although you are broody now I would ignore them feelings, because having kids isn't just now.. it's forever, and I can't get over the fact that I am no longer gonna be how I used to be, I am gonna have a big priority and even though before I was all for it, I can honestly say I wish I waited.

I have friends my age and younger who wish they waited also, as it is such a hard job and without the partner being there for you (as in living together and married) it can be hard, if you still live with your parents don't expect them to help you as often because they are the grandparents and will do their bit, but once you've made your bed you gotta lay in it.

I just hope you make the right decision, and realise it's not all flowers and pretty pictures it is actually bloody hard work.. it's too late for me now, but not for you so just think..

As much as I love my baby, I think I prefer to be at least 25 and have my first child because then I would have finished uni and college. But I gotta go back next year AND find a job, it's gonna be so hard looking after Aliyah and I can't help but worry about how I am going to cope with it all.. xxx


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## Pearls18

It's totally normal to feel broody from a young age, broodiness is embedded in women- our natural desire to procreate and nuture. I don't know your personal situation and it isn't my place to comment, but just because you have reached your first anniversary doesn't mean your relationship is automatically strong enough for a baby, just a thought. One thing I always think of women who are feeling so broody to the point they want to TTC (and this includes myself) is they need to think ok I want a baby, but will a baby be sufficiently provided for by me? Financially, emotionally and in a stable family unit? It's not just about the mother but the potential baby, we can't always have what we want just because it is seen as a natural right of passage. So right now even though I am broody I know I couldn't give a second child what it deserves so will wait. Maybe have a think about what you can offer, I know you must get this allllllll the time but 18 is soooooo young the world is your oyster and you will have plenty of time. But I know that's easier said than done :flower:

Also just enjoy being with your partner, being in love is amazing and there's so much you can do together like go on holiday. Meeting someone you could love for an eternity at a young age is so very lucky, I started going out with DH when we were 17 and we had a baby at nearly 23, so we had 6 amazing years together first, getting to travel to many amazing places and live together- and work through tough times of course so our relationship is as strong as it should be. And then we are lucky enough to still be young parents. No way DH and I would have had the relationship we do now strong enough to be parents if we had Elliot when we were teenagers after only 12 months.x


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## GabiRose

What I've done to try and help (which I think some of the ladies have pretty much already mentioned) is to make a list of things you want to do that you wouldn't be able to do with a baby. It's a great way to help with it all and then you'll know that once you've done everything on the list, you really are ready!


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## sequeena

:hugs: I can't tell you how broody I was when I first got with OH (We'll have been together 3 years November 5th). I wasn't bothered about kids before I met him but it was like a switch had flipped in my brain. We started TTC early on in our relationship but conceived our son after 2 years of trying (with 3 mcs in between).

I think it's a very natural reaction and all I can say is try to keep yourself occupied as much as you can. Broodiness gnaws away at you something horrid though.


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## JustLurking

I know how you feel...It started at 19 for me and here I am, 21 and still faithfully preventing pregnancy. What helps me is thinking about the kind of life I want my children to have vs the life I could give one now. We certainly wouldn't be on the streets, but we would have a tough time making ends meet unless we wanted to live with my parents, which is not something I would want (I love them very much and get along with them but I would really prefer to not have to live with them as an adult.) If I wait a few years my children will have much more opportunity.


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## x0emz0x

I feel very broody aswell. Me and OH have been together almost 4years and we have talked about babies pretty much since we've been together. I just try and stop the broodiness by thinking that we're waiting so we can give our child a better life. It's hard but will definately be worth it in the end! Xx


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## Avalanche

You don't get many people in their 20s saying they wish they'd had their baby younger but you do get a lot of people saying they wish they'd waited and done more before they had children.


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## Amalee

Great point, Avalanche.


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## lilyanne

I started getting broody around 18 as well. I started dating my DH at 16. We waited though and finished high school, went to college, got engaged, graduated, got married, found jobs, bought a house, adopted a dog, moved to Germany, traveled around Europe, and three months ago had our first baby. Had you told me at 18 I would be where I am today (literally), I don't think I would have believed you. I'm glad we waited. I don't think DH or myself would have gotten to finish college if we had a baby. We would have needed to work. Financially we are secure now and I can buy the things I want for my baby without worrying about overdrawing the bank account. We can afford for me to stay home now and I know that would not be possible if we had Phoebe even 2 years ago.


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## BroodyTeen

*Reading all your feedback and comments i get where you are all coming from, I never felt like this myself before i got with my OH, we've been together over a year now and i really couldn't be happier.. i've been on the pill now for nearly a month, i know there is other types of contriception but the implant puts me off as i have a really bad nedle phobia! me & my OH have thought alot about the whole baby situation to, we both use protection at the minute as it's best.. I'm just glad there are other people out there who have been in the same situation as me & congratulations to everyone who has had a baby or is pregnant  *


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## EmilyCJ

MarineWAG said:


> Also just enjoy being with your partner, being in love is amazing and there's so much you can do together like go on holiday. Meeting someone you could love for an eternity at a young age is so very lucky, I started going out with DH when we were 17 and we had a baby at nearly 23, so we had 6 amazing years together first, getting to travel to many amazing places and live together- and work through tough times of course so our relationship is as strong as it should be. And then we are lucky enough to still be young parents. No way DH and I would have had the relationship we do now strong enough to be parents if we had Elliot when we were teenagers after only 12 months.x

just had to say i agree...my and hubby got together at 15 and had a lovely 7 years just being us and enjoying each other. we're now 23, living together, decent jobs, married and will start ttc next cycle. there's no going back once you've got a child so make sure you do get all the stuff done first and your baby will thank you for it :flower:


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## BroodyTeen

EmilyCJ said:


> MarineWAG said:
> 
> 
> Also just enjoy being with your partner, being in love is amazing and there's so much you can do together like go on holiday. Meeting someone you could love for an eternity at a young age is so very lucky, I started going out with DH when we were 17 and we had a baby at nearly 23, so we had 6 amazing years together first, getting to travel to many amazing places and live together- and work through tough times of course so our relationship is as strong as it should be. And then we are lucky enough to still be young parents. No way DH and I would have had the relationship we do now strong enough to be parents if we had Elliot when we were teenagers after only 12 months.x
> 
> just had to say i agree...my and hubby got together at 15 and had a lovely 7 years just being us and enjoying each other. we're now 23, living together, decent jobs, married and will start ttc next cycle. there's no going back once you've got a child so make sure you do get all the stuff done first and your baby will thank you for it :flower:Click to expand...


^- Yeah i understand what you mean! it's nice to know everybody on here can help to :hugs:


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## sleepinbeauty

Ugh, no one knows broody like me. It sucks!!! Hang in there.


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