# 6 years tomorrow (warning may offend)



## Rockell8788

iv not posted in here before. tomorrow with be 6 years on from my baby's due date. i cant believe its been 6 years and this year for some reason is really hard. 
i really dont want to go into to much details of how i lost my baby except it was at 16+6 weeks and i was physically forced an abortion by my abussive ex. 

I never knew if the baby was a girl or boy but felt the need at the time to name baby ellie may to help me move on and grieve.

rip my precious baby i love you so much, im sorry for everything. keep watching over your baby brother and sister for me. 

i love you to the stars and back

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## MummyStobe

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

I'm so sorry you were made to go through that huni.

I'm sure your angel is watching over you all.

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Andypanda6570

:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry: I am so sorry for your loss and the way you had to go through this. Thank you for being so brave even to post a little about it.

Believe me when I tell you Ellie May is watching over you and protecting you and her family..
XOXOXOXOXO:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## KamIAm

Hi Sweetie! :flower:

I am terribly sorry for you loss.... Doesn't matter how or why it happened, it was still a loss... :hugs:

You are welcome to post here anytime you feel the need, we'll always be here to listen and offer some love and support .. 

Fly high lil one.... :angel:


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## Rockell8788

Thank you for your kind words it means alot as iv only ever told my dh and a close friend about this. 
I know it's not the same sort of loss as you ladies and I was terrified to post about it incase I upset anyone. I just never wanted my baby to go.

Is it ok that because I didn't know what the baby was to give her a gender and name. I just wanted to make her feel real. I don't know I that makes sense 

I'm sorry for your losses. :hugs:


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## KamIAm

Completely understandable.... I hear a lot of women give their lil ones sexes and names, it totally helps with the journey of grieving...

You do what YOU need and when YOU need it... One major lesson I have learned through this ... :flower:

A loss is a loss.... Never feel that your not welcome here... Just cuz your loss happened a lil differently than some here, someone might have had this very situation and need to hear your words, thoughts and feelings.... We're all here to help each other... :hugs:

Thank you for sharing with us:hugs::hugs:


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## Andypanda6570

You are welcome here anytime and Kelly is right a loss is a loss doesn't matter how it happened and you have every right to post here and express any emotion you want to.
We are all here for you ..XOXOXO
Andrea :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## SarahJane

I am so sorry that you lost baby Ellie. I am certain that she is smiling down on her mummy and playing with all of our angels. If ever you need to talk, that is what we are all here for xxx

:hugs:


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## mhazzab

so sorry to hear your story, it makes me very sad to hear what you went through.

Rest in peace little Ellie May, she will be up there playing with our little angels

hope you are okay today xxx


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## Nikki_d72

I'm so sorry for your loss, and the circumstances you were put in. I'm glad you are away from that partnership xxx


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## luckybreak

:cry: I am sorry for your traumatic loss :hugs:


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## AirForceWife7

So sorry :hugs:

:angel:


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## Cassie10

I'm so sorry for your loss... :hugs: Like others have said a loss is a loss so don't ever feel like you can't come here and talk about your sweet angel. I will gladly listen! :flower:


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## Hellylou

I'm sorry for your loss :cry::hugs:


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## Mellybelle

No one here will judge you for the way you lost your baby. :hugs: Your loss may have happened differently, but your grief and sadness is just as deep. :hugs:

RIP Sweet Ellie. xx :kiss:


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## KamIAm

Thinking of you today..... :hugs:


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## Rockell8788

thank you for all your kind words. was a difficult few days but i feel so much stronger for posting about her. dh was lovely and decided to take me out for dinner and a movie on the anniversary of the due date. 
the day after i found a white feather on my kitchen side, im hoping its Ellie's way of showing me shes forgiven me and is ok with the other angel babies


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## KamIAm

Rockell8788 said:


> thank you for all your kind words. was a difficult few days but i feel so much stronger for posting about her. dh was lovely and decided to take me out for dinner and a movie on the anniversary of the due date.
> the day after i found a white feather on my kitchen side, im hoping its Ellie's way of showing me shes forgiven me and is ok with the other angel babies

Oh Wow... What a great DH you have .. :flower: Glad you ended up having a good day ... 

Wow... A white feather in your kitchen????? What a blessing... Yes, I imagine that was your lil Ellie May sending her loves ... :hugs:


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## Mummyjohnson

So sorry about your loss. *hugs* Rest in peace little angel x x


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## glbell920

KamIAm said:


> Just cuz your loss happened a lil differently than some here, someone might have had this very situation and need to hear your words, thoughts and feelings.... We're all here to help each other... :hugs:
> 
> Thank you for sharing with us:hugs::hugs:


Sorry for your loss. What Kam says is so true. I joined because I lost my baby boy Gavin almost 7 weeks ago. I had a miscarriage 3 years ago. Five years before that (and I hardly ever talk about it either) I was forced by my ex to terminate my pregnancy. I was absolutely devastated. I fell in love with my baby the moment I saw the positive. I was heartbroken because he didn't care about me or my baby. I was only 7 weeks so I don't know if my angel was a boy or girl. At the time I hadn't told anyone but my best friend. I was afraid of being judged. I was crippled with guilt because I wasn't strong enough to keep my baby anyway even if he didn't want him/her. It was a terrible time. I didn't have a support group like this to help me through. I know now they exist but I didn't know back then so I suffered alone. For years I couldn't speak about it. Since then I have shared with others but still today 5 years later I still tear up.

I have 3 angels that I lost in three different ways. A loss is a loss....an angel is an angel. Thanks for sharing.:hugs:

Gavin 15+5 wks
Ryliegh 12+3 wks
Baby Joy 7 wks


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