# How do you prepare yourself for a Miscarriage?



## bostonblonde

Hi everyone. This is my first pregnancy. Today I had an ultrasound and my worst fear came true. I'm measuring at 7 weeks and the heart rate is only 60 beats per minute. That's half of what it was last week, at 6 weeks. It actually decreased, even though the baby is the right size. They did not seem optimistic.

I have my 3rd follow up ultrasound a week from today and to be honest, from everything I've read, I don't hold much hope. I have a strong feeling the heart will have stopped completely, and it will be over. 

I have never had any spotting the whole time I've been pregnant. I will be scared when/if bleeding starts. 

I know I haven't lost the baby yet, but I am already devastated. :cry: I think this is the hardest part, knowing my baby is still alive now, but won't be for much longer. How do I cope during this time, when I know it's slowly dying? How can I concentrate on my stressful job when I'm going through this?? How can I keep my mind off it? Any advice?

This is painful to ask, but how soon after it's confirmed miscarriage do they perform D&C? Can it be done right away?

:(


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## Mummy2Angel.

Hi hun :hugs: so sorry your going through this.

Let me tell you what i went through. I was going for my dating scan (13 weeks pregnant, no scan previosly) had no spotting, pain throughout pregnancy so far, and was told bub didnt have a heartbeat. Its unbelievable how my whole world fell apart in a few seconds. I was sent home and told i would get a phone call within 48hours for D&C date, I had to wait 8 days after scan, walking around, eating, doing day to day things knowing that my baby was dead inside me and that was the hardest week off my life, and it will be hard for you hun, make sure you have lots of support :hugs:

I would highly recommend you take some time off work, i'm sure any doctor would be happy to sign you off for a few weeks. I think a D&C can be done as soon as they have space (in my case they didnt for 8 days), but i'm glad i opted for D&C rather the medical or natural route, it has helped me greive easier as i didnt need to go through a 'mini labour' in the hopsital or lose the baby naturally at home, but choose which is right for yourself hun :hugs:

Take time your emotioanl healling cant begin till the physcial aspect is over, so it will take some time :hugs:, make sure you get lots of rest, cuddles, long talks, and lots of support :hugs: i'm hear if you want to talk x


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## Mamabel

Hi, I can't imagine how anyone can possibly prepare for a miscarriage emotionally. Physically, rest more, relax, time off of work....all good ideas. Emotionally? I just don't see how. I was lucky and got schedule for a D&C within 48 hours of learning that there was no heartbeat at 9 weeks, and the baby was measuring at 8 weeks only. So hard. Even though I rationally knew that it was for the best to miscarry, as the embryo hadn't developed right for whatever reason, I was still so sad. The rational thinking couldn't supplant my emotions...I think you just have to ride the wave of feelings and allow yourself time to grieve and be sad. Good luck during this terrible time.


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## heart tree

Boston, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I was told something similar with my second pregnancy. I wasn't given much hope and was scheduled a few days later for a D&C. Then they saw a bit of hope and asked me to wait another 2 weeks. The next scan wasn't good and I was scheduled for the D&C 2 days later (they tried to get me in the next day but couldn't fit me in.) I had a lot of time to process the loss. I had already had one mc, so knew somewhat how I would feel afterwards. It was not easy though. My best girlfriend came to visit for a week which was very helpful. I cried A LOT. I got LOTS of hugs from my DH. I talked to my mother on the phone almost every day. It will be hard to keep your mind off of it. I watched a lot of movies and ate a lot of food for comfort. I went to work to keep my mind off of it, but took time off after the D&C. I slept a lot too. I'm not sure you can completely prepare for this. All you can do is find things that comfort you and surround yourself with them. And do take some time off afterwards. Emotionally you will need a lot of space. 

Take good care honey.

xoxo


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