# so frustrated with sleep i got angry with my baby-please help



## missk1989

I know i have done alot of these posts lately but im getting desperate and i dont know where else to go. Isaac has never slept through the night but did sleep a bit better when he had a bit of room when co sleeping so i thought it would be a good time to move him and try some sleep training. I tried the gentle methods but they made him cry more so did cc and he started to ss within a couple of days. Problem is it doesnt extend to through the night and he is still waking up about 4/5 times only now i have to get out of bed and sit there holding him for 20 mins at a time. Tonight i nearly snapped, im so tired my eyes are burning and when he woke up just an hour after going to sleep i decided to do cc but it got so bad i was in tears and feel the anger about to burst inside of me. I left him crying which made it even worse and oh came up to see what was going on. He has cuddled lo to sleep and is now holding him so we will have the same problem again when he wakes in the night. I need things to get better because i cant function properly anymore. I need help. He has about 2-3 hours of naps and we do 2,3,4 so he is not overtired and goes to bed between 7-7-30 as any earlier he wakes up every half hour. If you have any advice i would appreciate it very much! thanks in advance!


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## baby287

Not advice but ive been there with the anger. I am ashamed to admit it but i have felt angry at my lb too many time and feel like im about to lash out at him at times. I know that sounds awful but i think it does happen to a lot of moms we just dont like to admit it. Obviously im not about to injure my precious baby but i get those feelings and i think with such a lack of sleep and listening to the crying etc its pretty natural to. I hope things get better soon. Try not to be too hard on yourself


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## tinytabby

:hugs:

It's been a long time since I felt like that but you've brought it all back!

It's so hard. I used to put LO down in a safe place, e.g. her crib and just go and count to 10 in another room. It can be such a pressure cooker sometimes being a mum.


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## bababas

:hugs: so sorry. but i also have no advice. but count to 10 seems good. i hope it will get better.


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## readynwilling

My honest opinion, if he was say in a pack n play or a side car crib or even in your bed close to you and you didn't have to physically get out of bed to settle him all night, you might not be so tired. My DD didn't sleep through until 17 months. I would have gone insane if i hadn't of co-slept until she was ready to sleep thru. 

Once she started to sleep through, i moved her to her own bed in her own room. Sleep training doesn't work for all babies - sure as heck didn't work for my DD. I would not recommend trying to keep "training" if its making you angry/tired/unhappy.


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## PG5K

:hugs: You're not alone :hugs:
Alice slept through last night for the first time since she was 5 months old. So many times I've cried and felt so frustrated. One night I had been up with her about 10 times and after spending half hour settling her she woke as soon as I got back to bed. I was so upset that I kicked the door out of frustration, i didn't think too hard, I just never realised our doors are hollow! I put my foot straight through :cry:
Then both me and Alice were in tears at 4am.

I don't have any advice except try not to kick doors otherwise you feel a right twonk the next day :haha:


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## ArmyWife1984

Not sure how old your lo is but around 4/5 months i was trying everything to get ds to sleep, cio , cc, pupd...but like you he would constantly wake through the night.

So i tried a bottle and its been heaven ever since! I know this may create future problems but when your desperate for sleep ,you try anything!

Once we started this, he would wake around 2-3 times a night for another bottle....whic was sooo much better than waking up every hr! Eventually it became only once a night..and now at 16months, he goes to bed with a bottle and i don't hear a peep until morning :)

I know this may not be for everyone, but thought i'd share what worked for me.


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## Noelle610

Hun, if you want to commit to sleep training, you have to be consistent. Otherwise, it won't work and there will just be more crying for all of you! If you're doing CC, you must do it at bedtime and for each night waking in the same manner.


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## Louise88

:hugs: I've been there with the anger and frustration unfortunately nothing I can say can make you feel better :hugs: could you have someone take him for the night so you can get a full nights sleep? Or maybe your oh can sort the night wakings one night do you can sleep instead? Or one day someone such as your oh can give you a day off look after lo so you can have a day to sleep and to yourself. It will get better but I know that doesn't help you right now :(


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## Katiekola

So sorry you are going through this, i have had horrible probs with Lo's sleep but for the time being it is much better. I will tell you what helped me...

My health visitor suggested use a travel cot instead of the cot. It has a soft mattress then i put a soft blanket on top of this so it was cushion soft. Sorry if its not reccomended but I felt my baby was old enough and I was desperate! The first night he was in it he did a five hour stretch of sleep. Even after that I felt like a new person. 

I added white noise, played quietly in his room. 

I changed his feeding from on demand to a schedule (I notice Issac is one day younger than my Lo!) he now feeds at 7am, midday, 5pm and a dreamfeed at 10pm. I combi feed but it is now mainly 200ml bottle each time with solids first apart from breakfast which is milk first. His mealtimes have to be completed within an hour. God I know I sound insanely regimented but it worked for me so just sharing it! 

I don't know if any of this will help but I hope your sleep gets better as I know how hard it is and also how frustrating. Once I was so tired and frustrated with it I actually tore my hair out! And scratched my face in pure desperation. Its a nasty vicious thing, sleep deprivation. 

I really hope things get better, PM me if you want to talk x


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## Larkspur

I agree with KatieKola, we also recently made LO's bed softer by putting on a Woolrest sleeper (basically a thick fleece underlay) underneath his fitted sheet and it improved his sleep overnight. 

Didn't make it perfect, of course, but he used to wake up every hour for the first 2-3 hours before doing a longer stretch, and now after I put him to bed he does minimum a three-hour first stretch and often more. 

I also don't have problems putting him back in his cot anymore, he relaxes into his bed straight away. Sometimes when he stirs, he makes a few little cries, and then self-settles again, which is new. I hate to attribute all this to an underlay but honestly, it's like a miracle. I think his bed was just not comfortable and warm enough for him. It sure as hell wasn't as comfortable and warm as being cuddled up to Mama, but it seems like he's prepared to compromise a little now.


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## Babybear85

No advice but I always think how does leaving them to cry whilst you calm down calm you. It doesn't for me maybe I am in the minority though lol. Hope things improve soon


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## sevenofnine

Katiekola said:


> Once I was so tired and frustrated with it I actually tore my hair out! And scratched my face in pure desperation. Its a nasty vicious thing, sleep deprivation.

It makes me feel a little better to hear that I wasn't the only person in the world to have scratched their face out of desperation during the night...

:cry:


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## F0xybabe

Babybear85 said:


> No advice but I always think how does leaving them to cry whilst you calm down calm you. It doesn't for me maybe I am in the minority though lol. Hope things improve soon

It doesn't calm me at all. I'm still just as frustrated as before when I go back to her. So you're not alone. The only thing is does is stop me from hurting her since I'm not near her anymore. But I guess it gives me a few seconds to pull myself together.


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## TryinFor1

I think every parent goes through this. Unfortunately, it makes me resentful towards dh too, who sleeps all night. 

I have gotten pretty effing angry and screamed the place down. I can't even imagine what I look like. 

What helps me, and god this probably sounds morbid.. is thinking about the mothers who have lost a baby. It makes me so upset and feel bad that I am acting that way, that I snap right out of it and cuddle him till he goes to sleep, the 4-5 times he gets up. It makes it not so bad because at least he is here and healthy and safe. Like I said, its probably a weird thing to do but it makes me so much more grateful that its hard to stay mad, no matter how tired I am.


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## C_baby

:hugs:

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have thrown things at the wall and literally screamed into pillows with frustration. Being tired and stressed so much with Ivan turned me into and person I didn't recognise or like. 

I too did CC and unlike some of the other stories you read he was incredibly stubborn and it took us a long time. But be consistent, every night waking (unless it's a feed) just start the CC again, exactly the same as bedtime. It took us a month to get him really there and now he's STTN and I'm myself again. We're both happy and rested I don't feel resentful and angry with him and me and OH have our bedroom back. 

You'll get there hun :hugs:


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## MariaF

I have to agree with those who suggest persevering with CC. I know I just raised a thread complaining about 5am wake ups but she sleeps from 7pm :dohh:

We also went through with CC both at night and for daytime naps. The first week was AWFUL! Then it was getting better.

I completely understand how you feel and please know you are not alone. I also threw things at the wall and just sat there next door to my crying baby hysterical myself :wacko:
Sleep deprivation should not be underestimated!!!! Sending you massive :hugs:


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## Katiekola

I felt so silly with bright red marks down my face afterwards! To OP, hang onin there, things will get better, massive :hugs:


sevenofnine said:


> Katiekola said:
> 
> 
> Once I was so tired and frustrated with it I actually tore my hair out! And scratched my face in pure desperation. Its a nasty vicious thing, sleep deprivation.
> 
> It makes me feel a little better to hear that I wasn't the only person in the world to have scratched their face out of desperation during the night...
> 
> :cry:Click to expand...


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## Bunnikins

No advice really as i believe all babies r different, but just to say ive been there with the anger, and i bet 99.9% of mums have too. (if they say not.. they r probably lying!). Ive gotten Soooo angry ive sworn, scratched my face, pulled out my hair, thrown dummies at walls, and then felt soooo guilty at feeling angry at my precious little one. Lack of sleep really does drive us to the limit. Its normal :)


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## jessicaR4bbit

I've definitely been angry, even in front of LO. I'm not proud of it but the few times I have lashed out I have been so sleep deprived I couldn't function. Usually I put baby down, storm out of the room and scream into a pillow and throw things around. Other times I just storm around the house bellowing "FUCK FUCK FUCK" at the top of my lungs.

I am in the process of doing CC with my boy, but I know how terrible sleep deprivation is. It is what has taken me to this point. I don't have much advice because I am not expert myself. I'd say that if you have tried everything you can think of, then just try to ride out this storm. As crap as that is as far as advice goes it is all I have to give, other than :hugs: and lots of sympathy.


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## phineas

We had this recently. I had done cc for going down and everything was and is fine there. But then the waking started during the night. I don't mind waking for food, but this was waking for a bottle, 20 mins later another, an hour another etc. she was taking so much bottle we've been referred to a dietician! 

I know though its becoming a habit. So I need to help break it. Cc during the night doesn't work, or if it does it works for 10 mins. So I knew that couldn't be the route I went. 
Firstly I might add, she sleeps in a big double bed by herself (all sides secure). So what I did for the first night was I went in lay on her bed, white noise on and mobile. Evil to say I played candy crush cause I know the colours make her sleepy lol. I'm not one to co sleep tho, so I lay there until she fell asleep then got out. The first night she still woke I think 4-6 times but I persisted. She was never crying just fussing if at all. This proved to me, she didn't need the bottles.

Second night (last night!) we had one wake up. I did the same thing. After bout 25 mins tho it became obvious she needed food (still fussing) so I gave her 4 oz, back sleep till 6.30. That's the best night we've had in months! It's gonna be a long haul, but I have to say its the least stressed I've been in weeks. And even tho I'm up and still tired I feel better cause there's no crying.

Sorry major babble, just basically hugs I know it's hard x


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## GreyGirl

I'm so glad it's not just me. I've gotten so mad and frustrated and crying at my baby. Never hurt her obviously but today I did put her in the pen and went upstairs and screamed and cried into a pillow. I came down to a screaming baby and felt so awful. I feel guilty no matter what. 
On days where I've had decent sleep I feel amazing and nothing really phases me. I'm happy and so is she...so I know I can be a good Mum. I then get depressed when the spell is broken and the bad nights come back. This time round she was nearly sleeping through and then the heat wave came :( :( 
No real advice, only understanding :hugs:


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## missk1989

We just tried cc for his night waking a like we do at bedtime and after 30 mins oh gave in and picked him! What a fucking waste of effort I'm fuming! It was really hard listening but on two occasions he was almost asleep and then started screaming again so I was confident he could do it. Now what? Idiot!


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## WelshOneEmma

missk1989 said:


> We just tried cc for his night waking a like we do at bedtime and after 30 mins oh gave in and picked him! What a fucking waste of effort I'm fuming! It was really hard listening but on two occasions he was almost asleep and then started screaming again so I was confident he could do it. Now what? Idiot!

I think men need it explained to them. My hubby was always one for not letting the baby cry for longer than 30 seconds and used to make me feel like a crap mum! then one (early) morning when he was on a night shift, she woke, started crying and I brought her downstairs to get a bottle (thinking she was hungry), put her in her moses basket and went to do the bottle. Admittedly it was grizzle crying rather than screaming, but by the time the bottle was done she had grizzled herself back to sleep. When hubby was next home when she did that I had to insist he leave her and then he saw she could do it. Now he leaves her for as long as possible.

I realise it was easier for him as her crying didnt last as long as yours but some men just have it in their heads you cant leave them for the slightest amount (i was told by hubby we would not do CC or CIO).

and if that doesn't work, send him to a friends for a few days so you can do the sleep training!


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## cupcaker

PG5K said:


> I kicked the door out of frustration, i didn't think too hard, I just never realised our doors are hollow! I put my foot straight through :cry:
> Then both me and Alice were in tears at 4am.

Again just a sympathetic post and hope things improve for you soon.:hug: I understand the eye burning bit. I'm extremely short sighted, so at night when I don't have my contacts in, everything is even more hazy and tiresome. 

The above post made me laugh out loud...but in a truely sympathetic understanding way...honest! some things drive you bonkers. x


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## phineas

How I got my oh on board? I made him get up with her on a bad night, do all wakings/feedings, and then go to work the next day. He needed to see that yes I'm a sahm but by being up as often as I was dealing with it constantly and having to still get up the next day and function isn't easy. He still hates it when she's crying (as do I!) but he realises I'm mammy, and I need some sleep. 

I will say, we had a brutal night last night, to the extent I was in her bed most of it. But half way through the night she finally learned to roll properly! Is it possible it's milestones related? DOESN'T make it easier to deal with obviously. Just kinda made mr sigh some relief when she did it, that at least something good is coming outta all this. 

Now saying that, after an hours sleep last night, I need sleep tonight and won't be as understanding if she's that bad tonight again!


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