# smacking toddlers



## princessellie

just wondered peoples thoughts, not smacking hard, just a tap if a talking to doesnt work, i have been known to smack leylas hand if she continues to be naughty

so who else does it? x


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## Tacey

Nope, and I won't. There are many things I have said I wouldn't do, and then gone on to do it, but this isn't one of them.


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## AppleBlossom

Grace gets a smacked hand if she is constantly naughty after being told over and over not to do something. Naughty steps etc don't work for her. People might say I'm a terrible mother blah blah blah. Not really bothered because it works. And I don't do it hard and only as a last resort


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## Pink1981

Not had the need to i'm happy to say. A time out and the naughty step work really well for Sophie. Not sure i'm going to have it that easy with Siddles though!


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## princessellie

i dont think smacking makes you a bad mother

case in point, when we were little we (my brother and me) used to get the belt if we were naughty, i think we have grown up to be very polite and dont answer back to our parents (too much anyways :haha:

my littlest brother didnt get any discipline, he was left to do what he wantred, and i swear down, he is such a little shit now, he is 15 and constantly tells my mam to fuck off and calls her a bitch and tells her to shut the fuck up :shock:

obviously i wouldnt go so far as belting leyla as i feel that is taking it waaaay too far, but a bit of discipline, ie a smacked hand, isnt gna kill her i dont think

x


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## polo_princess

If you feel you need to hun, then do it!!

I havent had to smack Brooke yet, but if i felt i needed to then i would :thumbup:


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## country_girl8

i have done with my eldest and she knows straight away shes done wrong


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## AppleBlossom

I think we know as parents when a smack is necessary. There's a huge difference between a smacked hand and a full on belt like I used to get when I was younger. God Ellie, I'm glad you didn't post this in baby club or we'd have people telling us we're child abusers ;)


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## caggimedicine

I have smacked Harry's hand... but probably twice in his life. I tend to put him for time out which he hates. I'm not against smacking... after all, I was smacked, and it worked for me! But I have found that smacking doesn't tend to work with Harry... and he just smacks me back!


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## mommyof3co

I personally don't agree with it, but everyone parents differently. We use redirection, natural consequences, talking to and then timeouts sometimes too.


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## smelly07

I dont agree with smacking, imo its not okay to smack anyone for any reason.


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## AppleBlossom

smelly07 said:


> I dont agree with smacking, imo its not okay to smack anyone for any reason.

Ahh there's the helpful comment I was waiting for :)


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## Blah11

A big no for me. No reason to hit tbh, I can make amelies little face crumple with the tone of my voice. time out works better than any hit ever would. i dont want her to be scared of me :(


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## Blah11

& I think the first time parents in baby club dont know how easy babyhood is :rofl: Wait til they get a toddler! Theyre wayyyy much harder.


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## OmarsMum

Not for me. He started to understand no, & he's a cautious good boy in general xx


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## AppleBlossom

Blah11 said:


> & I think the first time parents in baby club dont know how easy babyhood is :rofl: Wait til they get a toddler! Theyre wayyyy much harder.

SO true!


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## SuperKat

I spank if I have to. I have a 7 and a 5 year old, I haven't had to spank them since they were smaller, my 7 year old is more sensitive so time outs worked best with him. My almost 2 1/2 year old daughter is a whole new creature! haha. I don't spank that often, and only if they do soemthing that can really harm themselves, I caught my daughter trying to stick a bobby pin in an outlet while I was cooking dinner, did I spank her? Yes. Has she done that since? No. This is a kid that jumps off her dresser too though, she has an abundance of energy and is fearless! LOL. So, trying to keep her from hurting herself can be difficult. Every kid is unique and I think that as parents we need to adjust our parenting for each individual personality, one method won't work with all of them. Now that my daughter is talking a lot more, the spankings have dropped dramatically, I can talk with her now and she understands. There is just a difficult age with little ones where it feels like nothing is being understood! lol 

Do I think I am a bad parent for spanking? No, but then I know to be careful with it and to not do it out of laziness, I prefer being able to use positive reinforcement and redirection, that doesn't always work with my daughter though, she is extremely determined to get what she wants- i want her to keep that trait because it will serve her well in adulthood, so finding the balance is hard! When it comes to the point where I feel the need to spank, it is always followed by an explanation and a hug and kiss (i actually do this regardless of a spanking, i make my kids tell me why they got in trouble so that I know they understand what they did wrong).


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## Tegans Mama

I don't smack Tegan, I couldn't bring myself to do it but I really don't disagree with other's who do. Your child is your child and you should discipline them however you see fit! We don't have a set 'rule', our only rule is that we don't smack because tbh there isn't anywhere on her body that is safe to smack!! Yeah there are her hands but I could never do that to her cute hands :blush: Some people smack softly on the bum, which would be useless as she can't feel her bum! :lol:


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## redpoppy

My LOs only 11 months and only in the last few weeks started having tantrums but I know I'll never smack her. We just don't in our family. It's never been done and hopefully never will. I'm just going to have to use the arsenal of other options I've been made aware of. :flower:


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## honey08

no i wud never smack morgan ......... up2 now i havent had the need to ,even a tap it wud have to be something major x


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## SuperKat

Tegans Mama said:


> Some people smack softly on the bum, which would be useless as she can't feel her bum! :lol:

:haha:That's exactly what i like about spanking on the bottom! hahaha i agree with everything you've said!

Most parents love their kids then other people could, and aren't going to do things that they don't feel is right (of course there are deviations from this, which is why i said most and not all...lol). 

It is so easy to judge other peoples parenting techniques and amazing at how quickly we can become hard on eachother. Parenting is such a hard job!! (The hardest, and best job ever as they say!)


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## ~KACI~

Have done with both, kieran not for about a yr, he's old enough to know now when i say no no i mean it, Infact IMO he is a very well behaved little man:thumbup:

Paige had a smack on the hand last fri. She is a pain in the bum and will laugh at me if a shout at her:nope:

On friday we had been to toddler group, sometimes we go to a friends house after group but on friday we couldn't...she wanted to go. Hence 30 mins of screaming,shounting and throwing herself on the floor while i'm trying to walk to town. After 30mins after telling her off, then ignoring her i smacked her hand and you know what she stopped. 

Its not nice and i'm sure anyone here that smacks there child doesn't like doing it but sometimes for me and others it is necessary. 

I was smacked when i was younger and i turned out pretty well :)


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## AppleBlossom

~KACI~ said:


> Have done with both, kieran not for about a yr, he's old enough to know now when i say no no i mean it, Infact IMO he is a very well behaved little man:thumbup:
> 
> Paige had a smack on the hand last fri. She is a pain in the bum and *will laugh at me if a shout at her*:nope:
> 
> On friday we had been to toddler group, sometimes we go to a friends house after group but on friday we couldn't...she wanted to go. Hence 30 mins of screaming,shounting and throwing herself on the floor while i'm trying to walk to town. After 30mins after telling her off, then ignoring her i smacked her hand and you know what she stopped.
> 
> Its not nice and i'm sure anyone here that smacks there child doesn't like doing it but sometimes for me and others it is necessary.
> 
> I was smacked when i was younger and i turned out pretty well :)

Grace does that too. She laughs then carries on! Little bugger!


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## polo_princess

Look how nice and relaxed this thread is? I love it!!

Seems we kind of "relax" a little by the time we hit the Toddler section :thumbup:


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## ~KACI~

polo_princess said:


> Look how nice and relaxed this thread is? I love it!!
> 
> Seems we kind of "relax" a little by the time we hit the Toddler section :thumbup:

certainly :lol:


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## AppleBlossom

That's because we have more experience :smug: lol it's like all the first time mum's in baby club are like, god I'd never smack/give a dummy etc. I always think, just wait until they start answering you back ;) haha


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## princess_bump

i have to agree holly, def. farrrr more relaxed in toddlerhood :) i've tapped maddi's hand once or twice, but no smacking, i'm more of a moving her away from things. 
i neither agree or disagree with smacking tbh, i think as a good parent you can make that call and it certainly doesn't make you a bad parent! i wasn't smack as a child (that i can remember :lol:) but my mum did grab my face once or twice when i was sooooo cheeky! more as a big girl, say 11. 
and as a child from a home of domestic violence till i was 6, i can say, that it has no bearing of smacking imo, i've seen the argument relating to that so i thought i'd just say what i've experienced ;) x


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## Blah11

amelie sometimes laughs at me :rofl: She doesnt laugh when she goes to time out though! she hhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaates it.


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## princess_bump

Blah11 said:


> amelie sometimes laughs at me :rofl: She doesnt laugh when she goes to time out though! she hhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaates it.

i have to little smile :dohh: the one where butter wouldn't melt! followed by her wanting to sit in time out :dohh: 
maddi gets like that, naughty i suppose when she's tired :dohh:


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## polo_princess

Brooke told OH to "shussssh" and "shut up" the other week ... i really need to stop saying that to him :rofl:


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## honey08

morgan wud never sit on a step for a min !! let alone secounds, but when he understands more he will be there all day :dohh:


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## Tegans Mama

SuperKat said:


> Tegans Mama said:
> 
> 
> Some people smack softly on the bum, which would be useless as she can't feel her bum! :lol:
> 
> :haha:That's exactly what i like about spanking on the bottom! hahaha i agree with everything you've said!Click to expand...

I'm being serious though! My LO is paraplegic. She can't feel her bum, at all. Anything from the middle of her ribcage down. :thumbup:


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## Tegans Mama

And also... Tegan has some VERY naughty answers when she's told off now, she doesn't swear but she does say "Shush Mummy" and things like that! Bad child! :lol:


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## princessellie

lol, there wouldve certainly been an outrage if id put this in baby club and rightly so :lol: let me take this chance to clarify that i dont smack naomie :haha:


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## v2007

I do tap Bows hand if its really needed. 

The other day i was cleaning her up after she had chucked her tea everwhere and she threw her fork and spoon at me, i td her no she then threw the bowl at me so i tapped her hand. 

Not hard but she wasnt happy. 

V xxx


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## Arcanegirl

Shush mummy :rofl:

Its not something i want to do, id like to try alternatives first like naughty step etc but ill not say never as i dont know yet how Alex will take to discipline. Ive not had to use anything drastic yet....


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## ~KACI~

:rofl:


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## AppleBlossom

When I tell Grace off she sometimes says "Oh mummy, pack it in" :dohh:


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## v2007

If i tell Bow off she actually does this :roll:

V xxx


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## princessellie

haha leyla rolls her eyes into the back of her head! wtf lol x


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## polo_princess

2 going on 20 these kids are :rofl:


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## AppleBlossom

Lmao!!


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## v2007

These kids already have an attitude lol.

V xxx


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## sophie c

i havent smacked alys as of yet, i have held her arm so shes been caught mid-smacking me lol, if i tell her off she usually hits herself or turns her back to me lol

xx


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## jenny_wren

i smack emily if she's naughty ...

not hard enough to mark or anything,
i'm not horrible, but hard enough so she
knows she's doing something wrong and i
only smack her if she's doing something
dangerous (like touching plug sockets etc) or
if she hits someone or throws something

i don't smack her for the hell of it
before anyone flies at me :flower:​


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## SuperKat

Tegans Mama said:


> SuperKat said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Tegans Mama said:
> 
> 
> Some people smack softly on the bum, which would be useless as she can't feel her bum! :lol:
> 
> :haha:That's exactly what i like about spanking on the bottom! hahaha i agree with everything you've said!Click to expand...
> 
> I'm being serious though! My LO is paraplegic. She can't feel her bum, at all. Anything from the middle of her ribcage down. :thumbup:Click to expand...

Oh! I'm sorry :blush: I didn't realize! :blush: I can certainly understand what you are saying, smacking the hand has never been effective in my house, I think the kids never understood why i was patting their hands!


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## SuperKat

polo_princess said:


> 2 going on 20 these kids are :rofl:

:haha: So true!!!


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## Tegans Mama

SuperKat said:


> Tegans Mama said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SuperKat said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Tegans Mama said:
> 
> 
> Some people smack softly on the bum, which would be useless as she can't feel her bum! :lol:
> 
> :haha:That's exactly what i like about spanking on the bottom! hahaha i agree with everything you've said!Click to expand...
> 
> I'm being serious though! My LO is paraplegic. She can't feel her bum, at all. Anything from the middle of her ribcage down. :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> Oh! I'm sorry :blush: I didn't realize! :blush: I can certainly understand what you are saying, smacking the hand has never been effective in my house, I think the kids never understood why i was patting their hands!Click to expand...

No worries, you weren't to know! A lot of people in this part of the forum do though, which is why I didn't explain :lol:


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## Lu28

Aisling's already started rolling her eyes at me! :shock: :haha:

I haven't smacked Aisling's hand and I really really hope that it never gets to that stage. I have no problem doing it if she's in a dangerous situation and it needs an immediate solution but I am hoping that things like time out, redirection etc will be effective. That said, she's my first and who am I to say? I've already done plenty of things I said I never would, reality is so different to the picture perfect idea of a child!


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## Mum2b_Claire

Tacey said:


> Nope, and I won't. There are many things I have said I wouldn't do, and then gone on to do it, but this isn't one of them.

This.


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## sparkle_1979

i never in a million yrs thought I would smack, but then again I thought I wasnt going to do a lot of things that now happen on a regular basis...:wacko::blush:

I have done once as she kept going to the fire so after 1000 times of telling her no and moving her away she got a tap on the hand. She didnt seem bothered by it so prob wont do it again as it didn't have any benefit :shrug:


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## Mum2b_Claire

LOL at some of the toddlers though! I love toddlers!

OH asked Ruby to stop kicking him in bed this morning and she said 'naughty daddy'.


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## bloodbinds

I think that if you discipline correctly, then there is no need for smacking.


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## AppleBlossom

bloodbinds said:


> I think that if you discipline correctly, then there is no need for smacking.

I don't think that's the case though. I don't discipline incorrectly. She is just at an age where all other forms of discipline have fallen by the wayside sometimes because she doesn't listen or she laughs etc :shrug:


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## Buffy71

I give H's hand a tap if the 40000000th "no we don't do that because...." and distraction tactic doesn't work. Then I will use it when it's something thatmight hurt her (pulling plug covers/wires/hot radiators, etc. I used to get the odd smack as a child and I don't think it did me any harm.


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## Mum2b_Claire

I personally would never smack Ruby whatever she did but apart from smacking, I really don't think there is 'correct' and 'incorrect' discipline - so much is down to knowing your child and applying that knowledge to your discipline.


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## Blah11

Amelie called stef a fatty the other day. I have NO idea where she got that from :shock:


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## bloodbinds

AppleBlossom said:


> bloodbinds said:
> 
> 
> I think that if you discipline correctly, then there is no need for smacking.
> 
> I don't think that's the case though. I don't discipline incorrectly. She is just at an age where all other forms of discipline have fallen by the wayside sometimes because she doesn't listen or she laughs etc :shrug:Click to expand...


Just to let you know i've read no other posts so wasnt directing that at anyone.

Also you should know i have never in my life attempted to disipline a child, so my 'knowledge' of it all boils down to supernanny. I just think, surely if she can get the naughiest (in my opinion) children in the world to behave just by showing them the naughty step, then surely smackings not needed? (you'll see me eating my words in a few months time, i'm sure! Lol)


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## SuperKat

.


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## AppleBlossom

bloodbinds said:


> AppleBlossom said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> bloodbinds said:
> 
> 
> I think that if you discipline correctly, then there is no need for smacking.
> 
> I don't think that's the case though. I don't discipline incorrectly. She is just at an age where all other forms of discipline have fallen by the wayside sometimes because she doesn't listen or she laughs etc :shrug:Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Just to let you know i've read no other posts so wasnt directing that at anyone.
> 
> Also you should know i have never in my life attempted to disipline a child, so my 'knowledge' of it all boils down to supernanny. I just think, surely if she can get the naughiest (in my opinion) children in the world to behave just by showing them the naughty step, then surely smackings not needed? (you'll see me eating my words in a few months time, i'm sure! Lol)Click to expand...


Haha, I assure you, at some point you will at least consider it even if you don't follow it through :lol: I always said I would never do it and I would just do the things supernanny does, getting down to their level, naughty step etc. I do do those things but a lot of the time they just don't work at all and I do smack her. Like when she is climbing on the dining room table and I tell her a million times to get down, then I get her down, then she goes back up, repeat for 20 minutes, then she shouts at the top of her lungs "Mummy go away!" and "NO!!!" Small smack on the hand and one more stern warning equals no more climbing on the table :)


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## SuperKat

bloodbinds said:


> AppleBlossom said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> bloodbinds said:
> 
> 
> I think that if you discipline correctly, then there is no need for smacking.
> 
> I don't think that's the case though. I don't discipline incorrectly. She is just at an age where all other forms of discipline have fallen by the wayside sometimes because she doesn't listen or she laughs etc :shrug:Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Just to let you know i've read no other posts so wasnt directing that at anyone.
> 
> Also you should know i have never in my life attempted to disipline a child, so my 'knowledge' of it all boils down to supernanny. I just think, surely if she can get the naughiest (in my opinion) children in the world to behave just by showing them the naughty step, then surely smackings not needed? (you'll see me eating my words in a few months time, i'm sure! Lol)Click to expand...

LOL. I had to edit my last comment after reading this. It probably would have come across as nasty, and I didn't want it to. I just want to remind you that supernanny is a tv show, they are there for ratings. Just because it worked on supernanny, doesn't mean it worked long term. I am sure you will learn this as your LO gets bigger. But, kids respond different to strangers. My daughter is a perfect angel for people she doesn't know well, if the supernanny came to my house it would appear as though she had solved all of our problems! LOL


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## Sophie1205

We have tapped Leo's hand a couple of times but thats a very last resort. Never hard enough to leave a mark. But Im on a few different courses at the minute and learning so many different ways to discipline. So we havent even needed to tap his hand since doing these courses x


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## Midnight_Fairy

I think we have to do what works for us and our children. I was smacked. Never harmed me or gave me any emotional scars!


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## princessellie

i use supernanny tactics aswell lol, i think they do work very well but sometimes a smack on the hand is needed :shrug:

x


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## sarah0108

Harriets had a little smack on the hand. nothing that made her cry but when shes hitting max in the face and pulling her away isnt working i have no other choice:shrug:

i certainly dont feel guilty about it. She rarely is naughty so doesnt need telling off, but shes just a cheeky madam :lol:


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## BlackBerry25

I have tapped H's hand a couple times, and have been called a child abuser in another thread, so I am not going to make a detailed post lol.


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## Sophie1205

You're not a child abuser hun :hugs: you would have thought a forum full of parents would be more mature sometimes :lol: xx


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## spacebaby

I think many of us were probably smacked as children and we're ok, right? I think smoking in the house when you have kids is more child abuse than smacking.


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## Blah11

christ baby club really is horrid :|


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## AppleBlossom

It does baffle me that anyone can put smacking a child in terms of discipline in the same category as abuse. When I see stories on the news about children that have been abused they've had horrendous things done to them, thrown at walls, down stairs, things you couldn't bear to even repeat. Definitely not comparable to the occasional smack on the hand...


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## polo_princess

Your safe in here Wendy :lol:


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## Lu28

One thing I am pretty sure of is that I would never give a smack if Aisling as punishment for Aisling hitting. I just can't reconcile teaching her not to hit by hitting iykwim.

I also had a smack every now and then and I would safely say it didn't do me any harm but I don't believe in the theory that just because it didn't harm me, it's ok to do the same with my LO. It's like saying we weren't in decent car seats when we were babies and we're all ok - I'd still use a good car seat now! :lol:


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## polo_princess

Lu28 said:


> One thing I am pretty sure of is that I would never give a smack if Aisling as punishment for Aisling hitting. I just can't reconcile teaching her not to hit by hitting iykwim.

I agree, that one does tend to contradict itself


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## mummy to be

I have had to smack Layla at times. But this is a last resort for us. She is so stubbon and it is her way or no way. We just couldnt reason with her and she wasnt listening to us at all.. 

Like others have said. my gosh i was smacked as a child... It never did me any harm. I am (well i think i am :D ) fine... :)


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## BlackBerry25

Agree.

And a tap is different than an ass whooping.

I have 5 foster sisters who have all been abused, so I know abuse, sadly.


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## bloodbinds

To be fair, i was also smacked as a child, and i grew up fine.

The only thing that really puts me off the idea is i remember how much i hated my mum and dad for smacking me, at that moment. I mean, i got over it, but there was a few hours of pure hatred from me for making me feel pain, i hate the thought of Bella thinking like that of me :-(


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## FierceAngel

jenny_wren said:


> i smack emily if she's naughty ...
> 
> not hard enough to mark or anything,
> i'm not horrible, but hard enough so she
> knows she's doing something wrong and i
> only smack her if she's doing something
> dangerous (like touching plug sockets etc) or
> if she hits someone or throws something
> 
> i don't smack her for the hell of it
> before anyone flies at me :flower:​

ditto x

if luisa does something dangerous i smack her hand and explain why.

if she is playing up i warn her, tell her she will get a smack, then count to 5.. although now she lets me count to 5 shouts SMACK and runs of giggling lol so i obv dont phase her 

oh has tried the naughty step with her but she just gets in a tantrum screaming sorry :dohh:


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## FierceAngel

to add i dont ever hit her hard! and i was smacked as a kid and am fine and not scared of my mummy she is my best friend xx


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## JessJC

Imo some children could benefit from a smack (obviously i dont mean ass whooping) and others wouldnt.
Some children are so sensitive you only need to raise your voice, but others like my son, just laughs at you or totally ignores you if you tell him off. So yes he has had a tap a few times when he's been really naughty.


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## princessellie

FierceAngel said:


> if she is playing up i warn her, tell her she will get a smack, then count to 5.. although now she lets me count to 5 shouts SMACK and runs of giggling lol so i obv dont phase her

LOL! we do 1,2 3, smack

lately though i say, 1 and leyla says 'twoooooooooooooo' and goes running off with a cheeky grin on her face :haha:

x


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## xxleannexx

If Summer is being really naughty and talking to her or the naughty step hasn't worked then she will get a smack, i was smacked as a child but again only if i was being very naughty and i'm fine.

I never planned to use it as part of disiplining summer but sometimes it has just had to be done if nothing else will work, especially if she is doing something dangerous and she knows she isn't aloud to do it but continues to do it despite talking, shouting, removing and naughty step.


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## Pyrrhic

I have smacked LOs hand a couple of times, and it doesn't work with her so time out is what we do now.


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## bloodbinds

Sometimes, i really wish my sister believed in smacking, as i think my nephew could do with a good smack every now and again, he is soooo naughty!


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## amie-leigh

ive not had to yet but if it got to that stage then possibly 
i dont believe in judging others either what works for one child doesnt mean it works another


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## polo_princess

Tbh, i think by the time youve hit this age, as a parent you know what your toddler does/doesnt respond to and you become a little more open minded about things you were once perhaps dead set against. Not just forms of discipline, but across the board really.

Some children respond better to physical discipline than others, its all down to their temperment IMO. Its our job as parents to guage that and find a form of discipline that will have the best impact.


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## bloodbinds

polo_princess said:


> Tbh, i think by the time youve hit this age, as a parent you know what your toddler does/doesnt respond to and you become a little more open minded about things you were once perhaps dead set against. Not just forms of discipline, but across the board really.
> 
> Some children respond better to physical discipline than others, its all down to their temperment IMO. Its our job as parents to guage that and find a form of discipline that will have the best impact.



I agree. There were loads of things i said i wouldnt do... like giving LO chocolate often, or co-sleeping or CCing. I was so dead set against them all, and i ended up doing all of them at some point!! Lol. Oops. I think it's silly for me (and people) to say things like 'I will never smack my child' because you just dont know!! I might do, i'll try to avoid it and try all other forms of disipline first, but it might have to happen!!


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## polo_princess

I was the same .. when i was pregnant, i was adamnt that i wouldnt co sleep, low and behold that one went right out of the window :rofl:


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## Panda_Ally

I have smacked Holly hand or bum a few times when she was been naughty/ doing something dangeruos and she needed to know i was serious about tell her NO! 

The last time i smacked her on the hand she laughed and hit me back.... i think I'm going about it a little wrong teaching her that hitting is ok. She play fights with her dad all the time where she hits him etc (only as part of the play) so I've tried smacking and I really dont think its a method of disapline that will work for us... might try naughty step next!


----------



## redpoppy

bloodbinds said:


> polo_princess said:
> 
> 
> Tbh, i think by the time youve hit this age, as a parent you know what your toddler does/doesnt respond to and you become a little more open minded about things you were once perhaps dead set against. Not just forms of discipline, but across the board really.
> 
> Some children respond better to physical discipline than others, its all down to their temperment IMO. Its our job as parents to guage that and find a form of discipline that will have the best impact.
> 
> 
> 
> I agree. There were loads of things i said i wouldnt do... like giving LO chocolate often, or co-sleeping or CCing. I was so dead set against them all, and i ended up doing all of them at some point!! Lol. Oops. I think it's silly for me (and people) to say things like 'I will never smack my child' because you just dont know!! I might do, i'll try to avoid it and try all other forms of disipline first, but it might have to happen!!Click to expand...

I agree to a degree but I suppose I was always quite open to what I would or would not do. But some people have a very strong belief in one particular area. Some parents WILL NEVER do CC/CIO no matter what happens as they believe it's the wrong thing to do. :shrug: I'm not one of those parents but if you are then you're never going to do it. You'll go mad if you have to but you just simply won't give in. And some parents will never hit their kids no matter what happens etc. I agree that you HAVE to cater to a child's personality but I think these things go into "ideals" etc. and then they can be very strong and set beliefs.

I use to be very militant about other people hitting their kids but then got married to someone who was hit as a child and is the best person ever! :haha::blush: So I dont think it damages kids any more. :blush: But even so, I personally won't be hitting my child unless she's developed a proclivity to go running out into the road and explaining, cajoling, begging, pleading, shouting, warning, threatening etc. have all not worked. 

But I think so long as any other parent isn't abusing or neglecting their children it's their business what they do with them. :shrug: And I don't use those terms lightly. :flower:


----------



## bloodbinds

redpoppy said:


> bloodbinds said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> polo_princess said:
> 
> 
> Tbh, i think by the time youve hit this age, as a parent you know what your toddler does/doesnt respond to and you become a little more open minded about things you were once perhaps dead set against. Not just forms of discipline, but across the board really.
> 
> Some children respond better to physical discipline than others, its all down to their temperment IMO. Its our job as parents to guage that and find a form of discipline that will have the best impact.
> 
> 
> 
> I agree. There were loads of things i said i wouldnt do... like giving LO chocolate often, or co-sleeping or CCing. I was so dead set against them all, and i ended up doing all of them at some point!! Lol. Oops. I think it's silly for me (and people) to say things like 'I will never smack my child' because you just dont know!! I might do, i'll try to avoid it and try all other forms of disipline first, but it might have to happen!!Click to expand...
> 
> I agree to a degree but I suppose I was always quite open to what I would or would not do. But some people have a very strong belief in one particular area. Some parents WILL NEVER do CC/CIO no matter what happens as they believe it's the wrong thing to do. :shrug: I'm not one of those parents but if you are then you're never going to do it. You'll go mad if you have to but you just simply won't give in. And some parents will never hit their kids no matter what happens etc. I agree that you HAVE to cater to a child's personality but I think these things go into "ideals" etc. and then they can be very strong and set beliefs.
> 
> I use to be very militant about other people hitting their kids but then got married to someone who was hit as a child and is the best person ever! :haha::blush: So I dont think it damages kids any more. :blush: But even so, I personally won't be hitting my child unless she's developed a proclivity to go running out into the road and explaining, cajoling, begging, pleading, shouting, warning, threatening etc. have all not worked.
> 
> But I think so long as any other parent isn't abusing or neglecting their children it's their business what they do with them. :shrug: And I don't use those terms lightly. :flower:Click to expand...


Yes but i think i was one of those parents who said i would NEVER do CC or CIO. I thought it was evil, you might be even able to go back to my start of baby club days where i would argue to the high heavens about how CC would damage your child forever and you are evil for doing it (ok, maybe not that bad, but you know what i mean lol)
Of course, there are parents who actually think they will NEVER do something and they dont EVER do it. But there are loads more parents who think they will never do something, and actually they do! Lol.


----------



## redpoppy

bloodbinds said:


> Yes but i think i was one of those parents who said i would NEVER do CC or CIO. I thought it was evil, you might be even able to go back to my start of baby club days where i would argue to the high heavens about how CC would damage your child forever and you are evil for doing it (ok, maybe not that bad, but you know what i mean lol)
> Of course, there are parents who actually think they will NEVER do something and they dont EVER do it. But there are loads more parents who think they will never do something, and actually they do! Lol.

Okay, so I'm wrong. :rofl: But I find it strange to have such a strong opinion and then change it I suppose. I don't think it's wrong at all btw. It's perfectly normal to believe something passionately and then change your mind. :flower: I think other than I can't imagine hitting LO the added incentive to not do is that I think my mum would disown me if I did. :rofl: :blush:


----------



## fantastica

I haven't yet, and don't think I would...but don't really care if other people do (obviously it's different if it's full on smacking, abusing type thing, not just what we're talking about in here - hope that's clear!!)

But then again, there are SO many things I said i'd never do, and I think as your child grows you realise how unimportant half of the stuff is (probably why baby club is so heated, as they grow older you understand COMPLETELY why people do different things whereas when they're tiny you're opinions can be a lot stronger). Guess we'll see what Jacob brings to the table as time goes on!! xx


----------



## SilasLove

As a last resort, yes.


----------



## kiwimama

I haven't yet but won't totally disregard it if we need to. Definately could have given her a smack on her bum over the weekend when we braved the shops to buy her something for her birthday and she spent the entire time running away and if I tried to hold her hand she would lie on the ground in the middle of the aisle and scream bloody murder blocking a whole lot of disgruntled shoppers... :wacko: Unfortunately would never smack her in public... may get the police called on me.


----------



## SuperKat

kiwimama said:


> I haven't yet but won't totally disregard it if we need to. Definately could have given her a smack on her bum over the weekend when we braved the shops to buy her something for her birthday and she spent the entire time running away and if I tried to hold her hand she would lie on the ground in the middle of the aisle and scream bloody murder blocking a whole lot of disgruntled shoppers... :wacko: Unfortunately would never smack her in public... may get the police called on me.

My LO does this...ugh...she is sooooo difficult to take shopping, nothing I've tried has worked, it embarressing!! (I won't spank her in public for the same reasons you mentioned) My boys were never like this!!!


----------



## polo_princess

Brooke did that once and some old lady came and put her hand on my shoulder and said "you just keep doing what your doing (ignoring her) ... dont let her win" 

:rofl: :rofl:


----------



## ~KACI~

Me and kieran once hand a stand off in the middle of town:haha:

He was having a paddy and had stopped, i was about 10metres infront of him near a bench. He was refusing to come to me and i refused to go get him. It was closing time and town was dead, The women from bodycare were all standing at the shop door telling me i had the patience of a saint It lasted for 10-15mins...I won :smug:


----------



## Lu28

Aisling had a paddy in the middle of our town centre a few weeks back, sat in the middle of the pavement screaming and banging her hands and feet on the ground! :blush: We had to get home so ended up picking her up and carrying her under my arm back to the car still screaming with her arms and legs kicking away like a little monster! :haha:


----------



## charliebear

Tapping AJ's hand doesnt work he just laughs at you! Little monster!!
We've done it twice, when a he's tried to stick things in sockets.

We're having to use a combination off a stern telling off and time out as nothing else works.

He's a good one really, just a cheeky little monkey :)


----------



## polo_princess

Lu28 said:


> Aisling had a paddy in the middle of our town centre a few weeks back, sat in the middle of the pavement screaming and banging her hands and feet on the ground! :blush: We had to get home so ended up picking her up and carrying her under my arm back to the car still screaming with her arms and legs kicking away like a little monster! :haha:

Did everyone stare? Thats the worst part for me :blush:

SO embarassing!!


----------



## kiwimama

~KACI~ said:


> Me and kieran once hand a stand off in the middle of town:haha:
> 
> He was having a paddy and had stopped, i was about 10metres infront of him near a bench. He was refusing to come to me and i refused to go get him. It was closing time and town was dead, The women from bodycare were all standing at the shop door telling me i had the patience of a saint It lasted for 10-15mins...I won :smug:

I'd normally do this but not really much of a chance when it's a packed store and people trying to get their xmas shopping done. 
Anyone else ever tried to do a time out in a store? I threatened it once over the weekend but didn't follow through.. which was completely stupid of me! :dohh:


----------



## Vickie

~KACI~ said:


> Me and kieran once hand a stand off in the middle of town:haha:
> 
> He was having a paddy and had stopped, i was about 10metres infront of him near a bench. He was refusing to come to me and i refused to go get him. It was closing time and town was dead, The women from bodycare were all standing at the shop door telling me i had the patience of a saint It lasted for 10-15mins...I won :smug:

:rofl: :rofl:


----------



## ~KACI~

haha i wouldn't of done it in a shop i would of held his hand and carried on walking. But i had the time and tbh the little rest was good :rofl:


----------



## polo_princess

LOL Kaci :rofl:


----------



## Vickie

kiwimama said:


> ~KACI~ said:
> 
> 
> Me and kieran once hand a stand off in the middle of town:haha:
> 
> He was having a paddy and had stopped, i was about 10metres infront of him near a bench. He was refusing to come to me and i refused to go get him. It was closing time and town was dead, The women from bodycare were all standing at the shop door telling me i had the patience of a saint It lasted for 10-15mins...I won :smug:
> 
> I'd normally do this but not really much of a chance when it's a packed store and people trying to get their xmas shopping done.
> Anyone else ever tried to do a time out in a store? I threatened it once over the weekend but didn't follow through.. which was completely stupid of me! :dohh:Click to expand...

I've threatened in a store but don't know how it'd work :shock: I have to admit I've done it in restaurants (more than once) I take her up to the front entry way and make her sit there :lol: gotten some strange looks but :shrug: :rofl: 

For stores now I generally make her sit in the cart or the stroller if she refuses to listen (I give her fair warning.....)


----------



## Arcanegirl

Ive seen on Supernanny where she suggests to do time out even in the shops but has anyone actually done it?


----------



## princessellie

i just say when we get home and it seems to work, if not then its back in the pushchair x


----------



## Tsia

i tapped Mylos hand for the first time today.. and I was shocked I just did it without thinking.. I have never done it before, never even thought I would ever. I have had animals for years, never hit my dogs, always just shouted. 
Well today I felt ashamed of myself, and that I had lost control. 
I wont be doing it again.. just raise my firm voice.


----------



## Tegans Mama

We can't do timeouts. Tegan spends her life sat on the floor (or on the sofa), so if we sit her on the floor she just thinks its playtime :shrug: I tend to just ignore her. But to be honest, she is very very well behaved so we don't have to do timeouts etc. She is always in a pushchair or in the trolley anyway!


----------



## lollylou1

i have tapped her hand but as a last resort i generally tell her no, then move her away then explain y i dont want her to do it then i will try the sharp shock of no when she does it and last resort tap on hand, i have tried naughty corner and she just laughs hysterically the more i put her back the more she laughs! i cant put her on stairs as its right next to all her toys!
i must stress i dont do this often and i would be disgusted to see a child being hit hard
~Lou
xxx


----------



## lylasmummy

Ive had to tap Lyla's hand a couple of times in the last month or so, but generally she is very well behaved so only had to do it if she goes to touch the cooker when its on or something equally as dangerous


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

I always use the naughty step and explain to him whst he did was wrong. I have only smacked him once on the hand. He ran into the road when a car was coming. I think it was more fear than anything xx


----------



## redpoppy

SuperKat said:


> kiwimama said:
> 
> 
> I haven't yet but won't totally disregard it if we need to. Definately could have given her a smack on her bum over the weekend when we braved the shops to buy her something for her birthday and she spent the entire time running away and if I tried to hold her hand she would lie on the ground in the middle of the aisle and scream bloody murder blocking a whole lot of disgruntled shoppers... :wacko: Unfortunately would never smack her in public... may get the police called on me.
> 
> My LO does this...ugh...she is sooooo difficult to take shopping, nothing I've tried has worked, it embarressing!! (I won't spank her in public for the same reasons you mentioned) My boys were never like this!!!Click to expand...

This used to be me. :blush: i am sure karma can't wait to reap revenge when my LO hits that age. I'm going to have to chat to my mum for pointers as i was so busy kicking and screaming that i can't remember how she dealt with it all. :dohh:


----------



## Lu28

polo_princess said:


> Lu28 said:
> 
> 
> Aisling had a paddy in the middle of our town centre a few weeks back, sat in the middle of the pavement screaming and banging her hands and feet on the ground! :blush: We had to get home so ended up picking her up and carrying her under my arm back to the car still screaming with her arms and legs kicking away like a little monster! :haha:
> 
> Did everyone stare? Thats the worst part for me :blush:
> 
> SO embarassing!!Click to expand...

Yes, I could see people nudging each other and pointing and laughing, mortified! :blush:


----------



## krissie1234uk

I think I've done it once or twice, it doesn't really work all that well for us. The naughty step I can't do. He just cries hysterically and holds his arms out to me, so I pick him up tell him why he was being naughty and ask him if he's sorry. He always says yes and gives me a kiss. I can't figure out if this is right though?
We've also reached the stage where we are told "NO MUMMY" or "Shurrup Daddy" when we are trying to tell him not to do something, so I can see the hard work starting from here!


----------



## Weeplin

Never. I never smacked Aimee and I am always getting compliments on how well behaved she is. I would never judge anyone for doing it but I personally believe its the wrong way. When you smack your teaching your child out of fear not respect.

I also don't get why you try to teach your child not to hit but then hit them?? Just seems a bit backwards to me and tbh I would feel guilty as hell lifting a finger to any of my kids. 

I use the naughty step and behaviour charts.


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## dom85

I think it depends on how its done really, I haven't had to smack Brady, I just redirect him at the moment, but i don't think I could say that i definitely would never do it.

It does depend on the child though, I know there was quite a heated thread on this in baby club the other day and I don't want to drag the whole thing up, but personally, even now at nearly 14 months old I wouldn't tap Brady on the hand because I just don't think he would get it :shrug: 

He would have to do something pretty drastic for me to do I think because i don't think I could bring myself to hit him as a regular punishment and discipline needs to be consistent so I don't see how it would work for us.

I was hit as a child, not very often and it hasn't left me scarred for life or anything. Hopefully Brady wi be the perfect, well behaved child and I won't need to discipline him... I can dream


----------



## polo_princess

dom85 said:


> It does depend on the child though, I know there was *quite a heated thread on this in baby club the other day* and I don't want to drag the whole thing up, but personally, even now at nearly 14 months old I wouldn't tap Brady on the hand because I just don't think he would get it :shrug:

Thats the beauty of this section :lol:


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## princessellie

hehe yep, thats why i put it in here, im scared of babyclub :haha:


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## marley2580

I don't and I won't smack. I don't really use a naughty step either, just time outs. And I have done it in a shop before - well sort of, I just leave them to their tantrum and make sure they're not in anyone's way, once they've calmed down I continue along as if nothing has happened.


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## polo_princess

Tbf Adele, she's not really a baby anymore either :rofl:


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## redpoppy

marley2580 said:


> I don't and I won't smack. I don't really use a naughty step either, just time outs. And I have done it in a shop before - well sort of, I just leave them to their tantrum and make sure they're not in anyone's way, once they've calmed down I continue along as if nothing has happened.

Sorry to focus on this and change topic a bit but when they're doing this do you stand nearby? Do you try to engage them? Do you walk away a little? Do you pretend to be getting on with your shopping? *takes out notepad and pen* :coffee:


----------



## princessellie

haha yeh true, even with naomie though i barely went in the tri forums and have only been in babyclub about 5 times :haha:


----------



## polo_princess

redpoppy said:


> marley2580 said:
> 
> 
> I don't and I won't smack. I don't really use a naughty step either, just time outs. And I have done it in a shop before - well sort of, I just leave them to their tantrum and make sure they're not in anyone's way, once they've calmed down I continue along as if nothing has happened.
> 
> Sorry to focus on this and change topic a bit but when they're doing this do you stand nearby? Do you try to engage them? Do you walk away a little? Do you pretend to be getting on with your shopping? *takes out notepad and pen* :coffee:Click to expand...

Id be interested to know too .. atm Brooke is either strapped into the buggy or a trolley when we go out, but soon she will be walking more so i'll need a plan of action


----------



## marley2580

I just stand and wait tbh. I often make eye contact with passers by and smile at them as well, just so they see that I'm aware of her behaviour and am dealing with it lol. I must be doing something right as I haven't had a tantrum in public for ages (though Blythe is starting to get to that age lol). When she was smaller I used to just pick her up and tuck her under my arm.


----------



## Heather9603

I don't mind it as a last resort. Example: I baby sit my neighbors grandson. I have watched him since he was a baby, he's now 3. DH and I are apart of their family and M is who I call my adopted nephew lol.

Anyway, I have smacked at his hand when he was reaching for something. I was cooking lunch and he stood behind me and reached RIGHT for the stove. Well I quickly smacked his hand away because there was no time to "calmly talk to him about it". I later explained to him why I had to smack his hand because he was about to touch the stove which is HOT and that is a NO NO. He got it, and was fine.

I also have gently grabbed his arm and pulled him away when he smacked my dog in the face. I did this because he KNOWS that being mean to the dogs can get him bit. So I took him firmly by the hand and pulled him towards me (not yanking his arm) and I put my face right in front us his and firmly told him that was VERY mean to hit her in the face. Then after a time out I made him apologize to the dog :haha:


----------



## princessellie

i would ahve made him apologise the dog aswell :haha:

leyla smacked naomie the other day and naomie didnt even notice tbh cos she had her blankets on but i still made leyla apologise


----------



## polo_princess

Of course, i think its important thay you do, if Brooke hits the cat i always make her say sorry!!


----------



## Heather9603

polo_princess said:


> Of course, i think its important thay you do, if Brooke hits the cat i always make her say sorry!!

Yep, thats how I felt. I always make him apologize to the dogs. :thumbup:

Now he will just do it. Like he will sit down and accidentally squish one of the dogs (we have three min pins so easy to sit on them lol) And he will pat her on the head and go "Sorry Luna". He always says Luna, for whatever reason he remembers that name. He can't tell any of them apart so they are all Luna :haha:


----------



## princessellie

ahh bless him

when i knock leyla by accident i say 'ooh sorry'' and leyla has started saying that LOL x


----------



## mommyof3co

We've done timeouts in public too, we've only had to do it a couple times. But I'll stand them somewhere out of other people's way and they'll do their timeout, we talk and on we go. They hate it because they know people are watching, I really think I've only had to do it once to Casen and once to Landon and never again lol. With tantrums though I pick them up and remove them, I won't allow them to interrupt someone else's meal they are paying for or bother people trying to shop. Luckily it never happens with my older boys, really only a handful of times with all 3 of them, but we will take them to the car and I put them in their seat, close the door and stand there with my back to the window so they see I'm there but I'm not listening to them throw a fit, when they decide to calm down (which always happens quickly) we talk and then we go finish our shopping.


----------



## Heather9603

mommyof3co said:


> We've done timeouts in public too,

OMG, I am glad I am not the only one! M threw a tantrum in Lowes once and I totally put him in the corner of a kitchen display! haha. People looked at me like I was a nut job, but I didn't care, he was being a brat! The humilation of being put in time out in public actually was good because he has NEVER thrown a tantrum in a store since. :thumbup:


----------



## princessellie

i dont think leyla would even realise we were in a shop, and if she saw people looking shed prob be even naughtier lol, am defo saving that for when shes older though lol x


----------



## icclebaby

I also would if needs be, though I only have to raise my voice to Freya at the moment and she bursts into tears but me and my brother were smacked when we were younger and we have both grown up as kind honest hard working adults who get on brilliantly with our parents, so it never did us any harm.


----------



## AppleBlossom

Oh my god, Grace has thrown a few tantrums when out, the other day she threw herself on the floor in Sainsburys and started kicking and screaming. I would never smack her in public because someone would probably get social services on me :lol:


----------



## kiwimama

Is smacking actually illegal over in the UK and US? They outlawed it here several years ago even though about 70% of citizens didn't want it to be.


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## polo_princess

No. i dont think it is


----------



## Heather9603

kiwimama said:


> Is smacking actually illegal over in the UK and US? They outlawed it here several years ago even though about 70% of citizens didn't want it to be.

Its not outright "illegal" but it is highly frowned upon and if done in public, you can have child protective services called on you and someone will come to your house and evaluate you and your children.

Its lame because they worry so much about traumatizing a child with a simple spanking but yet children who are REALLY abused go back to their parents and then that child ends up dead in a few days :cry: That actually happened here. The foster family BEGGED CPS to not let the little girl go back, it was too dangerous. CPS did anyway and the girl was killed by her moms boyfriend within 3 days.:growlmad:


----------



## mommyof3co

It's legal here in the US....as long as it's 'within reason'


----------



## isil

I haven't read all of this (guessing it turned into some kind of debate!) but in response to your original post Ellie lol...I've tapped boy's hand before when he's touched something he hasn't..usually like he's reaching out to touch something hot or take something he shouldn't...I tap it but just enough for him to withdraw it if that makes sense. then explain why. Time outs work well for boy though.


----------



## Pessimistic

Yes I have tapped my daughters hand if she is not listening to a firm 'no', usually just saying or shouting no does it but the odd occasion she trys to push her luck lol, ie the other day she was trying to snatch my cup of tea from my hand and it was very hot, wouldn't listen atall to me saying no so a little slap on the hand and she got the message. It's not being nasty it's just a type of disapline, it's not suppose to be nice either but every parent has their different ways of doing it.


----------



## Hotbump

Ive only done it to nain about 3 times. Naughty step or time out never work with him. The dr is going to evaluate him for adhd (sp) until he is six because he says it might just be a phase. I wish he would do time outs but he just screams no and runs around the house laughing. :rofl: usually when he throws a trantum i ignore him or when he does something dangerous i just pull him away.


----------



## polo_princess

isil said:


> I haven't read all of this (guessing it turned into some kind of debate!) but in response to your original post Ellie lol...I've tapped boy's hand before when he's touched something he hasn't..usually like he's reaching out to touch something hot or take something he shouldn't...I tap it but just enough for him to withdraw it if that makes sense. then explain why. Time outs work well for boy though.

Guess again :lol:

It hasnt ... no debating, just a nice chilled conversation!!


----------



## princessellie

:D


----------



## helen1234

Lu28 said:


> polo_princess said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Lu28 said:
> 
> 
> Aisling had a paddy in the middle of our town centre a few weeks back, sat in the middle of the pavement screaming and banging her hands and feet on the ground! :blush: We had to get home so ended up picking her up and carrying her under my arm back to the car still screaming with her arms and legs kicking away like a little monster! :haha:
> 
> Did everyone stare? Thats the worst part for me :blush:
> 
> SO embarassing!!Click to expand...
> 
> Yes, I could see people nudging each other and pointing and laughing, mortified! :blush:Click to expand...

oh gosh rhys had his first major meltdown last monday, and where does he decide to do it...... the waiting room full of pregnant women waiting to have scans at the hospital, he just refused to stop grabbing and throwing toys around, and wanted to clib over the chairs, the e got heavy handed pushing a little girl out the way after ten mins of screaming to go back the the toys my oh struggled to get hi in the pushchair and carried him back to the car lol, 

i could just see the look on all these womens faces like, omg what have we let ourselves in for, the other half were prob thinking my child wont behave like that :haha: 
there was no talking to him or reasoning with him he wasnt even crying properly it was a screech from he back of his throat lol.

anyway smacking i tapped rhys's hand because he kept grabbing at a cup of coffee in my hand, his lip came down and he was heartbroken, and he walked off smacking his own hand like i'd just thrashed him or something, so he'd be really sad if i smacked him so i wont.


----------



## princessellie

omg :lol: poor little rhys!!


----------



## princess_vix

helen1234 said:


> Lu28 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> polo_princess said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Lu28 said:
> 
> 
> Aisling had a paddy in the middle of our town centre a few weeks back, sat in the middle of the pavement screaming and banging her hands and feet on the ground! :blush: We had to get home so ended up picking her up and carrying her under my arm back to the car still screaming with her arms and legs kicking away like a little monster! :haha:
> 
> Did everyone stare? Thats the worst part for me :blush:
> 
> SO embarassing!!Click to expand...
> 
> Yes, I could see people nudging each other and pointing and laughing, mortified! :blush:Click to expand...
> 
> oh gosh rhys had his first major meltdown last monday, and where does he decide to do it...... the waiting room full of pregnant women waiting to have scans at the hospital, he just refused to stop grabbing and throwing toys around, and wanted to clib over the chairs, the e got heavy handed pushing a little girl out the way after ten mins of screaming to go back the the toys my oh struggled to get hi in the pushchair and carried him back to the car lol,
> 
> i could just see the look on all these womens faces like, omg what have we let ourselves in for, the other half were prob thinking my child wont behave like that :haha:
> there was no talking to him or reasoning with him he wasnt even crying properly it was a screech from he back of his throat lol.
> 
> anyway smacking i tapped rhys's hand because he kept grabbing at a cup of coffee in my hand, *his lip came down and he was heartbroken, and he walked off smacking his own hand like i'd just thrashed him or something*, so he'd be really sad if i smacked him so i wont.Click to expand...

LMAO sorry Helen but that made me LOL...cos Ryan does the same...i don't smack i just tap as last resort...and Ryan does the same as Rhys and i could not help laughing as it reminded me off ryan lol x


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## Feltzy

I remember the first time I tapped Evie's hand she laughed and told me to do it again! I couldn't help but laugh myself so I guess that didn't work lol.


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## kiwimama

mommyof3co said:


> It's legal here in the US....as long as it's 'within reason'

Yes, this is what our law used to state "you can use reasonable force to discipline your children." and that would allow some people to beat their kids and get away with it under the discipline law. 
I have only heard of one case where a parent using light measures got arrested. He flicked his older son on the ear after he had pushed his little brother onto the road into oncoming traffic. Someone saw and called the police and he got arrested infront of his kids.


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## princessellie

omg that is shocking! x


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## helen1234

some kids are tougher than others, i think its a matter of finding what works, around the age of 7 rosie was a nightmare and i smacked her on the back of the leg for shouting in my face, and it just made her really agressive toward me, yet my friend smacked her son and she only had to threaten him and that was that.

i used to make rosie stand at the wall cos we lived in a bungalow. 

in the moment i think its really easy to resort to smacking, gosh even now rosie is 15 she really tests me and i could knock her head off her shoulders inside lol, i wouldnt cos she'd dial childline, i have grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to one side and really lay into her shouting and that was age 14 :rofl: did nothing to her but i felt better,
they tell children in school that smacking is wrong and must tell a teacher if they get physically punished,
good or bad thing i dunno.


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## nikkip75

helen1234 said:


> some kids are tougher than others, i think its a matter of finding what works, around the age of 7 rosie was a nightmare and i smacked her on the back of the leg for shouting in my face, and it just made her really agressive toward me, yet my friend smacked her son and she only had to threaten him and that was that.
> 
> i used to make rosie stand at the wall cos we lived in a bungalow.
> 
> in the moment i think its really easy to resort to smacking, gosh even now *rosie is 15 she really tests me and i could knock her head off her shoulders inside lol, i wouldnt cos she'd dial childline, i have grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to one side and really lay into her shouting and that was age 14  did nothing to her but i felt better,* they tell children in school that smacking is wrong and must tell a teacher if they get physically punished,
> good or bad thing i dunno.

oh yes i know that feeling!!! My daughter is 15 and there has been times in the last year i could have had a full on fight with her! ive wanted to throttle her so many times. I have grabbed her by the face and pushed her away because one time she thought it was ok to take £20 out of my purse and buy phone credit with it! There is no talking to a teenager rationally because everything turns into a "you all hate me" rant.

As for my other 2, my 4 year old has had a tap on the bum maybe 4 or 5 times from when she was about 2 and my youngest is near 18 months and hasnt had a tap anywhere yet. I can see it coming though because she is the feisty one of the gang!

like someone else said though i dont see the point of hitting for hitting.
My friend told me one day she had had to give her LO a tap on the hand for hitting her in the face and told her with it in a stern voice, "we dont hit!" Well thats a bit confusing isnt it??:dohh:


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## redpoppy

I'm so scared of the teenage years. :shock: I always think it's going to be so great and we'll be so close and everything will be sunshine and lollipops but the reality is that with hormones, the natural inclination to rebel and her already stubborn streak it's not going to go well at all. Plus I'll be hitting menopause at around the same time. 
:shock:

Valium anyone? :haha:


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## helen1234

teenagers test the patience of saints lol, they arent like it all the time, i do find a teenager more demanding than toddlers though, same as toddlers are more demanding than oung babies, we just dont realise till they get to the next age :rofl: i giggle at toddler group when i hear mums saying 'i just dont get 5 mins to my self' and baby is there fast asleep. and then there's rhys jumping all over me, as soon as i let go of him he's got his hands down the loo or swinging a doll pram around his head. newborns are a doddle compared to a 2 yr old, but i remember thinking the same.

last night rosie took 4 curly wurlys out the fridge and 2 galaxy bars ate them and denied it refused to eat tea. then got up this morning moaning that she had stomach ache, i still made her goto school fell for that trick too many times, it took me an hour to get her out the door i could have throttled her lol.


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## hopeandpray

^^ :rofl: I was known to hide the empty wrappers in my day :blush: I don't think I would hit my child but then again I haven't got one yet so what do I know :lol: as long as a child is not being hit out of a parent's anger then it's not abuse


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## polo_princess

I plan on locking Brooke in the shed when she's a teenager, might give her a bow of water and some bread if she behaves :rofl: :rofl:


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## redpoppy

polo_princess said:


> I plan on locking Brooke in the shed when she's a teenager, might give her a bow of water and some bread if she behaves :rofl: :rofl:

As long as you're not smacking her. :winkwink:


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## helen1234

polo_princess said:


> I plan on locking Brooke in the shed when she's a teenager, might give her a bow of water and some bread if she behaves :rofl: :rofl:

i'm sending rosie round to give her tips, how to wind mum and dad up lol


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## Vickie

a couple of posts have been removed from here, for pretty obvious reasons for those who saw it :lol:

back on topic, I don't have a shed to lock Hannah in :sulk: Can I send her to you Holly?


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## DonnaBallona

bloodbinds said:


> To be fair, i was also smacked as a child, and i grew up fine.
> 
> The only thing that really puts me off the idea is i remember how much i hated my mum and dad for smacking me, at that moment. I mean, i got over it, but there was a few hours of pure hatred from me for making me feel pain, i hate the thought of Bella thinking like that of me :-(



Bloodbinds, I agree 1000000000000000% with you in your last comment.

I was smacked as a child, and I think it did nothing to change my behaviour, and I can even now vividly remember being _genuinly_ frightend of hearing my mum come running up the stairs.

I swore Id NEVER hit Brooke or Bertie when I had them, but a few weeks ago Brooke was just doing the same thing over and over and over again and I lashed out and tapped her hard on the hand.

There is no excuse for it. Im STILL ashamed of myself now and actually feel sick thinking about it. Ill never do it again-I hope. I dont want her to be frightenend of me. :cry:


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## helen1234

DonnaBallona said:


> bloodbinds said:
> 
> 
> To be fair, i was also smacked as a child, and i grew up fine.
> 
> The only thing that really puts me off the idea is i remember how much i hated my mum and dad for smacking me, at that moment. I mean, i got over it, but there was a few hours of pure hatred from me for making me feel pain, i hate the thought of Bella thinking like that of me :-(
> 
> 
> 
> Bloodbinds, I agree 1000000000000000% with you in your last comment.
> 
> I was smacked as a child, and I think it did nothing to change my behaviour, and I can even now vividly remember being _genuinly_ frightend of hearing my mum come running up the stairs.
> 
> I swore Id NEVER hit Brooke or Bertie when I had them, but a few weeks ago Brooke was just doing the same thing over and over and over again and I lashed out and tapped her hard on the hand.
> 
> There is no excuse for it. Im STILL ashamed of myself now and actually feel sick thinking about it. Ill never do it again-I hope. I dont want her to be frightenend of me. :cry:Click to expand...

:hugs:
i think we've all done that before, wether we like to admit it or not, when i knocked rhys's hand for trying to grab a full cup of coffee out my hand, i felt terrible after only cos it affected him so badly, i just know he's going to be a sensitive child and i think me smacking him he'd be mortified. but if i hadnt knocked him out the way he'd have been burnt.


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## marley2580

I was never smacked as a child and I turned out fine as well. I think it's more to do with consistency and having clear rules than whether you smack or not. I do, however, think that there are far to many people out there that smack through anger and embarrassment rather than with a cool head (usually in public as well).


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## princessellie

yeh it makes me fucking irate when i see parents going mad shouting at their young children :nope:

OT but i was in john lewis one day and this little lad wet himself and he went and told his mam who went fucking off on one telling him he was stupid and it was his own fault and he was gna wear his wet pants all the way home as punishment :grr: i had naomie in the sling or id have knocked her out the silly fucking meff...grrr makes me so mad :growlmad:


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## charliebear

princessellie said:


> yeh it makes me fucking irate when i see parents going mad shouting at their young children :nope:
> 
> OT but i was in john lewis one day and this little lad wet himself and he went and told his mam who went fucking off on one telling him he was stupid and it was his own fault and he was gna wear his wet pants all the way home as punishment :grr: i had naomie in the sling or id have knocked her out the silly fucking meff...grrr makes me so mad :growlmad:

:nope: Poor little lad.


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## Feltzy

charliebear said:


> princessellie said:
> 
> 
> yeh it makes me fucking irate when i see parents going mad shouting at their young children :nope:
> 
> OT but i was in john lewis one day and this little lad wet himself and he went and told his mam who went fucking off on one telling him he was stupid and it was his own fault and he was gna wear his wet pants all the way home as punishment :grr: i had naomie in the sling or id have knocked her out the silly fucking meff...grrr makes me so mad :growlmad:
> 
> :nope: Poor little lad.Click to expand...

Thats so awful! Evie wet herself in a shopping centre the other day and I no way would have shouted at her, it wasn't her fault the toilets were miles away! I wrapped her in my cardi and took her to primark for some new gear. I felt guilty more than anything for not taking her to the loo sooner.

I was picking her up from nursery the other day and I heard a woman shout at her son 'if you don't stop it now I'm gonna knock you out' :nope:


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## redpoppy

OMG! My OH was on a train (on the tube) and had failed to realise that he was the only he was left standing in one of the carriages area things where there was a family of about six and a baby and there was a very loud mouthy mum who was just being AWFUL to her children. Apparently at one point she said "I'm gonna 'f'ing punch you if you don't behave! I don't care if we're out, I'm gonna punch you hard in the mouth and I don't give a sh*t if you're only two years old" :shock: 

She carried on laughing and chatting to her OH and the two year old's crime was he wasn't sitting on the seat properly. 

My OH said he actually looked around to see if there was a camera filming him. They apparently looked like some type of vicki pollard gag. :shrug:

The woman carried on shouting at her kids and swearing etc. and when they got off the train a man actually came up to my OH (and please bear in mind this is LONDON where no one talks to ANYONE!) and said "are you alright mate?" :shock:


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## Feltzy

redpoppy said:


> OMG! My OH was on a train (on the tube) and had failed to realise that he was the only he was left standing in one of the carriages area things where there was a family of about six and a baby and there was a very loud mouthy mum who was just being AWFUL to her children. Apparently at one point she said "I'm gonna 'f'ing punch you if you don't behave! I don't care if we're out, I'm gonna punch you hard in the mouth and I don't give a sh*t if you're only two years old" :shock:
> 
> She carried on laughing and chatting to her OH and the two year old's crime was he wasn't sitting on the seat properly.
> 
> My OH said he actually looked around to see if there was a camera filming him. They apparently looked like some type of vicki pollard gag. :shrug:
> 
> The woman carried on shouting at her kids and swearing etc. and when they got off the train a man actually came up to my OH (and please bear in mind this is LONDON where no one talks to ANYONE!) and said "are you alright mate?" :shock:

Its just awful that they speak to their kids that way, I hear it quite often at the school where Evie's nursery is, 'your gonna get it when you get home' and other such things, unbelievable.


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## Serene123

I've smacked Caitlyn's bum before........... I say smacked, I've tapped it. Don't call the social on me :lol:

I don't see the problem with an occasional tap. There's a fine line between a tap and a smack though.


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## Dragonfly

I dont see the point on smacking my children, dont care if anyone else does everyone does what they want after all. I feel once you hit the lesson that was to be taught is gone and replaced with fear. I havnt ever found the need to smack my toddler, I dont see how teaching him hitting someone is wrong when I am hitting him so he never gets hit. No one should ever hit any one ever! children are humans to just smaller and deserve less to be hit.


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## Serene123

I said I would never smack Caitlyn until she almost ran in the road once. I know that is half my fault, but she scared me to DEATH and my reaction at that moment was to smack her bottom.

Bad mum of the year award goes to me? Nope! Just a lack of control in a moment of fear for her life.

Everyone's different, my main form of discipline is not smacking but if, at the time, my judgement tells me she needs a smack on the bottom or the hand it's not going to scar her for life. I had to be pretty horrific to get a smack when I was younger and the same goes with her.


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## Dragonfly

Serene123 said:


> I said I would never smack Caitlyn until she almost ran in the road once. I know that is half my fault, but she scared me to DEATH and my reaction at that moment was to smack her bottom.
> 
> Bad mum of the year award goes to me? Nope! Just a lack of control in a moment of fear for her life.
> 
> Everyone's different, my main form of discipline is not smacking but if, at the time, my judgement tells me she needs a smack on the bottom or the hand it's not going to scar her for life. I had to be pretty horrific to get a smack when I was younger and the same goes with her.

was that for me? I didnt read all thread and wasnt aiming anything at you. :thumbup:


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## Serene123

I know it wasn't aimed at me I was just saying


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## AppleBlossom

I hate it when I see mums really rattle their kids. Once when I was in town I saw a mum with a girl not much older than Grace and the girl was crying because she had fallen over. Her mum stopped, slapped the girls bum so hard she almost fell forwards and then the mum yelled "If you don't fucking shut up I'm going to fucking leave you here and someone else can pick you up." Then she grabbed her arm and thrust her forward and made her walk ahead on her own. Disgusting :nope:


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## babe2ooo

i dont see a problem with a little smack, i mean i would try the naughty step first because that works or say do u want to go to bed, but if he was really being naughty and not listening i would give jack a tap on the hand and say naughty, toddlers have there own mind and sometimes they have to be told.


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## Mum2b_Claire

I've seen incidents like that too appleblossom, So sad. 
What I don't get is when a mum is on a train with a child who is clearly too young to understand why they should sit still on a seat etc, and they start shouting at the child to behave, sit still or I'll do x y or z!
Maybe I am too laid back but I would never expect Ruby to sit still on a train, and wouldn't for quite some time yet. She sometimes does but when she doesn't I just I just make sure she doesn't hurt herself or annoy other passengers but I let her move about etc.


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## AppleBlossom

I know. I mean, like I've said, I do smack Grace if I feel it is necessary. She is old enough to understand no means no but also old enough to ignore that fact. I wouldn't dream of smacking a baby. Or smacking Grace for something like wetting herself. I can't understand why anyone would smack a child for wetting themselves, I find that wrong


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## Serene123

Mum2b_Claire said:


> I've seen incidents like that too appleblossom, So sad.
> *What I don't get is when a mum is on a train with a child who is clearly too young to understand why they should sit still on a seat etc, and they start shouting at the child to behave, sit still or I'll do x y or z!*
> Maybe I am too laid back but I would never expect Ruby to sit still on a train, and wouldn't for quite some time yet. She sometimes does but when she doesn't I just I just make sure she doesn't hurt herself or annoy other passengers but I let her move about etc.

I do that to Caitlyn (well not shout) and she DOES sit still for an hour + journey. Aslong as I tell her why and what the consequences are. She didn't when she was younger but because she has always been told she understands now.

By consequences, I mean that she could hurt herself.


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## Arcanegirl

I think she means for a child who doesnt understand though, it would be pointless for me to expect Alex to sit still and shout at him like that because he just doesnt understand!


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## Margie

Mum2b_Claire said:


> I've seen incidents like that too appleblossom, So sad.
> What I don't get is when a mum is on a train with a child who is clearly too young to understand why they should sit still on a seat etc, and they start shouting at the child to behave, sit still or I'll do x y or z!
> Maybe I am too laid back but I would never expect Ruby to sit still on a train, and wouldn't for quite some time yet. She sometimes does but when she doesn't I just I just make sure she doesn't hurt herself or annoy other passengers but I let her move about etc.

Off on a bit of a tangent but when do you ladies think is old enough to understand?

Heres my dilemma  Ferryn is very interested in our cats litter tray, which I obviously dont want her playing with. There is no-where in our flat that it can go that the cat would be able to get to and Ferryn wouldnt. So its a case of  she has to learn not to touch. But at 11 months  can she understand?


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## Aidan's Mummy

Serene123 said:


> I said I would never smack Caitlyn until she almost ran in the road once. I know that is half my fault, but she scared me to DEATH and my reaction at that moment was to smack her bottom.
> 
> Bad mum of the year award goes to me? Nope! Just a lack of control in a moment of fear for her life.
> 
> Everyone's different, my main form of discipline is not smacking but if, at the time, my judgement tells me she needs a smack on the bottom or the hand it's not going to scar her for life. I had to be pretty horrific to get a smack when I was younger and the same goes with her.

Don't be silly hun. I have 'smacked' Aidan once and that was ran into the road too. It's fear, fear can override all other emotions and logical thinking. Your not a bad mum your an amazing mum. I wish I hadn't smacked Aidan even though it wasn't hard. NO ONE is a perfect mum and we all make mistakes. So don't get upset sweetie :hugs:
xx


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## Arcanegirl

at 11 months id say no, but to still remove her from the tray and say why im the simplest way possible. She will understand words before learning to say them so at some point she will understand what youre saying.


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## emmajane

I've never smacked mine either and am against it really. I just feel that it is encouraging them to use force to solve dilemmas in the future and I try to communicate why they shouldn't do it etc. Never felt the need to do anything else with my two luckily.


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## Mum2b_Claire

Margie said:


> Mum2b_Claire said:
> 
> 
> I've seen incidents like that too appleblossom, So sad.
> What I don't get is when a mum is on a train with a child who is clearly too young to understand why they should sit still on a seat etc, and they start shouting at the child to behave, sit still or I'll do x y or z!
> Maybe I am too laid back but I would never expect Ruby to sit still on a train, and wouldn't for quite some time yet. She sometimes does but when she doesn't I just I just make sure she doesn't hurt herself or annoy other passengers but I let her move about etc.
> 
> Off on a bit of a tangent but when do you ladies think is old enough to understand?
> 
> Heres my dilemma  Ferryn is very interested in our cats litter tray, which I obviously dont want her playing with. There is no-where in our flat that it can go that the cat would be able to get to and Ferryn wouldnt. So its a case of  she has to learn not to touch. But at 11 months  can she understand?Click to expand...

I think it varies from child to child. Also for me personally I have never wanted to 'train' my LO into being obedient without understanding, IMO that is not actual discipline, i.e self discipline. 

At 11 months with the cat litter tray I would say 'not for Ferryn' and move her on to something else, each time she goes for it. But then I am not a big fan of the word 'no' for little ones so others may have a different opinion.


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## marley2580

Have you tried a cat litter tray with a hood? they're much easier to keep the kids out of


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## Rhi_Rhi1

i think a smack is fine .. and atm the only thing that works with well with my LO.. he gets smacked on the hand and the bum! but only after times outs fail to work ... he gets his bum smacked through his clothes tho so i cant imagine it hurts tbh its just to get the point across that he has done wrong ...


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## Margie

marley2580 said:


> Have you tried a cat litter tray with a hood? they're much easier to keep the kids out of

Yes - we have one of those, thank goodness... she has never gotten as far as getting her hands into the sand. Have caught her flapping the flap though.

Really didn't like yelling 'No' to her... not that she even acknowledged it! And then moving her away and distracting her with something else.

I quite like the idea of 'not for Ferryn' that was suggested - she might take more notice if it has her name in it... 'not for Ferryn - for kitty'??


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## charliebear

Margie said:


> I quite like the idea of 'not for Ferryn' that was suggested - she might take more notice if it has her name in it... 'not for Ferryn - for kitty'??

I think that sounds great. 

AJ always responded well to 'ah ah' and we've always explained why, so 'ah ah, thats buddy's (the dog), its dirty' 
He's always liked to play in the dogs bed :dohh:


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## wishuwerehere

We have I similar problem to the cat litter tray with our rat cage because issy love the rats but if she goes up to the cage to try and kiss them they'll bite her :dohh: so I just move her away and say 'no, they'll hurt you'


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## kiwimama

Ella got into our cat litter several times! :sick: Luckily we have managed to get rid of it now that it's summer, in the winter one cat in particular is too posh to go out and do her business in the cold and rain! :dohh:


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## special_kala

I dont agree with smacking to cause pain as a punishment but we do tap rivers hand if she ignores us when we tell her no. It is physical correction but i dont see it as smacking. Its only to get her attention, i dont really like the idea of having to shout at her.


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## Buffy71

I'd already replied to this once. And said that I would slightly tap H if nothing else worked and it was better than the danger she might be heading at.

Well..... I've changed my mind. I tapped her hand and she broke her heart crying. The look she gave me was abject disappointment.

Made me cry.

Wont be doing that again!

:cry:


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## redpoppy

Buffy71 said:


> I'd already replied to this once. And said that I would slightly tap H if nothing else worked and it was better than the danger she might be heading at.
> 
> Well..... I've changed my mind. I tapped her hand and she broke her heart crying. The look she gave me was abject disappointment.
> 
> Made me cry.
> 
> Wont be doing that again!
> 
> :cry:

Aw buffy! :hugs:


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## princessellie

aww poor little girly, leyla doesnt cry, in fact i say to her if you dont stop it im gna smack you and she runs off giggling, waiting for me to chase her :dohh:

x


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## Lara+sam+bump

I mainly shout or use time outs or just ignore him, he is a big big whinger and a bit of a thug for wrecking stuff. Have tapped his hand a few times when nothing else worked, when he kept trying to touch something he shouldn't and even moving him away from it didnt work xxxx


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