# sensitive question (warning ***)



## mylittlebubs

sorry if this might upset anyone on here but i think this is the right place to ask

why did you break up with your partner ? was it because of him or his family ?

............... if this upset you , please ignore it


i'm asking this because i feel like my relationship with my husband is at the breaking point atm, all of this because of his mom :cry:
he knows it and we talked about it all the time but he never done anything coz he doesn't want to upset her....:cry:
i already posted on GS forum about the situation i'm in 

i just don't feel like i can go on any more


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## suzanne108

Me and fob split up mainly because of his mum...obviously I cant blame her completely. She's a control freak...when I got pregnant she basically decided for him that his career was more important and a baby would ruin his life. He agreed with her tho!! Xx


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## bloodbinds

*Big Hugs!*

I don't think you should break up because of his mum. I know how awful they can be (As my FOB mum is currently in prision for dealing drugs...) but i think two people should never break up because of anyone else, but only because of each other.

Me and FOB broke up because he decided he didn't want us to be a family, and he didn't love me anymore. So i didn't get much choice in the matter.

but if you love each other, try and work it out.

What kind of problems are you having with the MIL?


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## mylittlebubs

suzanne108 said:


> Me and fob split up mainly because of his mum...obviously I cant blame her completely. She's a control freak...when I got pregnant she basically decided for him that his career was more important and a baby would ruin his life. He agreed with her tho!! Xx

:shock:OMG
mine is very controlling too in every single thing in everyone's life basically .it;s just so stressful for everybody, me ,oh, and even lo
lo is very clingy with me when she's here and seems to be grumpy all the time too. But when my family is here lo is very happy and plays with everyone and not clingy to me at all, he seems like a different boy 
my friend (the only one i have atm, she never comes round if she's here )


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## teal

Sending you hugs :hugs: 

My ex broke up with me because I refused to have a termination.

xx


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## sweetlullaby

Long and complicated...trying to sum it up lol 

Me and FOB were v.good friends sort of started a relationship but didnt really iykwim.
Got pregnant.
Tried to work something out, wasnt happening he was completly unrealistic, getting pissed all the time etc didnt come to appointments with me. Had been sleeping with another girl and was "in love" with her..but she wasnt interested in him already had a bf and just wanted the company while her partner was working. Left me to it type thing so basically it didnt work out even from the start. lol

Thats the really rough summed up crappy version. :)


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## AppleBlossom

Mines an easy one.

He left me because he was gay and had been cheating on me with men.

You have to laugh though lol


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## lou_w34

Ummmm i found out i was pregnant, he wanted me to have a termination, i refused, so he just refused to talk about the subject for two weeks, then i found out he was cheating on me with like 5 different girls, so i packed his stuff for him and sent him on his way :) best decision ive ever made! lol

I always said he could see lo though, he just chooses not too.

xxx


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## suzanne108

mylittlebubs said:


> suzanne108 said:
> 
> 
> Me and fob split up mainly because of his mum...obviously I cant blame her completely. She's a control freak...when I got pregnant she basically decided for him that his career was more important and a baby would ruin his life. He agreed with her tho!! Xx
> 
> :shock:OMG
> mine is very controlling too in every single thing in everyone's life basically .it;s just so stressful for everybody, me ,oh, and even lo
> lo is very clingy with me when she's here and seems to be grumpy all the time too. But when my family is here lo is very happy and plays with everyone and not clingy to me at all, he seems like a different boy
> my friend (the only one i have atm, she never comes round if she's here )Click to expand...

in what way is she controlling? I found out a couple of weeks ago that none of the family like her - only person who can't see it is fob!!! She wrote me letters and everything saying he wasn't ready for a baby and basically said I had trapped him. I did find out after we split up that he'd been messaging other girls via facebook saying that he was gutted nothin happened between them and he was sending pics of his body to a diff girl. And he put pressure on me to have an abortion - even at 13 weeks pregnant after the scan.

I agree with bloodbinds in that people shouldnt split up because of someone else but sometimes it happens. What has fob said about it? My fob wasnt interetsed when i told his mum needed to butt out...there was no hope. I had to decide whether I could cope with that for the rest of my life and I couldnt. If you're unhappy and there is no chance of things changing....whats the point?


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## Linz88

Me and fob broke up because he cheated and got another girl pregnant. I think you should talk to the mom and tell her to butt out if he's to scared to upset her


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## mylittlebubs

suzanne108 said:


> mylittlebubs said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> suzanne108 said:
> 
> 
> Me and fob split up mainly because of his mum...obviously I cant blame her completely. She's a control freak...when I got pregnant she basically decided for him that his career was more important and a baby would ruin his life. He agreed with her tho!! Xx
> 
> :shock:OMG
> mine is very controlling too in every single thing in everyone's life basically .it;s just so stressful for everybody, me ,oh, and even lo
> lo is very clingy with me when she's here and seems to be grumpy all the time too. But when my family is here lo is very happy and plays with everyone and not clingy to me at all, he seems like a different boy
> my friend (the only one i have atm, she never comes round if she's here )Click to expand...
> 
> in what way is she controlling? I found out a couple of weeks ago that none of the family like her - only person who can't see it is fob!!! She wrote me letters and everything saying he wasn't ready for a baby and basically said I had trapped him. I did find out after we split up that he'd been messaging other girls via facebook saying that he was gutted nothin happened between them and he was sending pics of his body to a diff girl. And he put pressure on me to have an abortion - even at 13 weeks pregnant after the scan.
> 
> I agree with bloodbinds in that people shouldnt split up because of someone else but sometimes it happens. What has fob said about it? My fob wasnt interetsed when i told his mum needed to butt out...there was no hope. I had to decide whether I could cope with that for the rest of my life and I couldnt. If you're unhappy and there is no chance of things changing....whats the point?Click to expand...

she's a very bossy woman and only wants things to be her way only...nothing is good enough for her. She thinks we should change the way we live because it's not good enough (long story)..
me and oh've been together for over 7 years and years after he talked to her many times not to interfere with us , now i realize things are not going to change, it's just not an option in this family
basically she has cancer and everyone wants to keep her happy so she just does whatever she likes and she controls everyone's life 
she visits us 4-5 times a year and stays with us 1 month at each time. I told oh that i never feel comfortable to have her in the house because of what she's like but he seems to have to power to do anything and she only tells us when she's coming after she booked the flight 
.......

it's not getting better and i'm getting more stressed out with the relationship
me and oh talked about it over and over and it's eating me from the inside...my family saw me and they are worried with the way i look . i look unhappy and so thin...etc.
i used to be a very happy & funny girl and laughed all the time but now it seems like i just cry so often..:cry: a lot to say but enough for now :blush:


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## expecting09

teal said:


> My ex broke up with me because I refused to have a termination.

Ditto!


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## sweetlullaby

Next time she tells you she's coming to stay and has booked flights for such and such a time tell her you's are going on holiday for 2 weeks on the same day :rofl:


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## mummy_ellie09

Me and my OH split cause he said he didn't love me anymore. We'd been arguing for a long time and it finally came to a head on the 2nd of this month and he up and walked out off to his best mates!

Thing is he said yesterday 'never say never' about getting back together. I'd have him back in a second! I miss him so much:cry:

Here's hoping (although I'm not getting my hopes up) we can get back together:flower:


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## surprisebaby

my fob and I split up because I got pregnant. when he found out he stopped all communication...


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## Ash_P

Me and FOB were married, together for years, tried for a baby for over 2 years, then when I was 6 weeks pregnant he just randomly announced one nite over dinner that he wasnt happy anymore, he felt we had "run our course" that we could be "friends" told me that he wasnt ready for everything that was happening, and that if we were meant to be together our paths would cross again, that maybe in 2 years we could sort things out. (im bloody sure was I waiting 2 years on him) 
2 days later I found out that he had been seeing someone else and from what i gather it was going on for about 6 months. She made him make a choice once he found out we were expecting. He choose her. 
He promised that he would be involved in Lo`s life and although we werent together she would still have a mum and dad and a great relationship with both of us. She was born a week ago and he hasnt even as much as asked if shes here or if he can see her. 

In regards to ur situation, if uv tried talking to him and ur getting no where then I would consider what ur next step should be. U have to think about the happiness and welfare of ur LO. If ur health and mental state is suffering then ur LO is going to pick up on that and its really not worth it. Only u will know deep down what is the best course of action to take.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for the best x


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## rosie5637

surprisebaby said:


> my fob and I split up because I got pregnant. when he found out he stopped all communication...

ditto


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## besterd

I've seen this so many times it's not even funny. When will mothers in law learn that they should stop interfering...?

But anyway. This is mostly your husband's fault. You should just stick to your guns and tell him what goes for what. He married you and promised to stood up for you no matter what it is. So you should tell him to stick to his promises and to stand up against his mother. So what if she's hurt? Rather she getting hurt and get over it in a few days than you loosing your happiness over someone that can't stop interfering in others lives

I would have told my mom from the beginning and infact I have before - if you don't then it becomes a habit!!


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## Monkeh

I left FOB when I found out he was posing as a glamour photographer on bebo and trying to get topless pics from underage girls. There's more, but thats the gist of it.


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## donegalfairy

Because I got pregnant. And he wasn't willing to take his responsibility.


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## andbabymakes3

[/QUOTE]

she's a very bossy woman and only wants things to be her way only...nothing is good enough for her. She thinks we should change the way we live because it's not good enough (long story)..
me and oh've been together for over 7 years and years after he talked to her many times not to interfere with us , now i realize things are not going to change, it's just not an option in this family
basically she has cancer and everyone wants to keep her happy so she just does whatever she likes and she controls everyone's life 
she visits us 4-5 times a year and stays with us 1 month at each time. I told oh that i never feel comfortable to have her in the house because of what she's like but he seems to have to power to do anything and she only tells us when she's coming after she booked the flight 
:[/QUOTE]

Do you think the fact that she has cancer may have something to do with her behaviour? Perhaps she is scared? Trying to see her son/grandchild as much as poss because she is concerned she wont be around for long? Angry at what is happening to her and doesn't know how to express it? Lots of things to think about if she is suffering with cancer.


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## xJG30

From finding out he was going to be a dad, he was all for it.. then he spent a week at mine when I was 15 weeks gone, I felt shit and just didn't have the energy to do owt and he ended it a week later.


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## sleepinbeauty

Monkeh said:


> I left FOB when I found out he was posing as a glamour photographer on bebo and trying to get topless pics from underage girls. There's more, but thats the gist of it.

WHOA. Did you report him?! Holy crap!


*To the mamas who got left BECAUSE they were mamas:* *HUGS* They don't deserve to know the joy of your children anyway.


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## Monkeh

sleepinbeauty said:


> Monkeh said:
> 
> 
> I left FOB when I found out he was posing as a glamour photographer on bebo and trying to get topless pics from underage girls. There's more, but thats the gist of it.
> 
> WHOA. Did you report him?! Holy crap!Click to expand...

Yeah he's currently under investigation, and the police still have my laptop (which he was using). It's been well over a year now though. Wish I had it back!


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## missmisty4

Me and my ex broke up bc I wanted the baby and he didn't. He came home drunk one night and it ended in domestic violence and him going to jail, haven't spoken with him since that night and I now have a restraining order.


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