# TTC and endometriosis :(



## Coolstar

Hi ladies , this is the first time I am posting in LTTC. Today I am so depressed and sad as if I have lost all hope :( I don't know how much more can I take. We have been ttc from Jan 2012 although from Jan'13 to June'13 I took a break. Never thought it would be so tough. I have already done 3 rounds of clomid and I think the med did not suit me and it did more harm then any good. My progesterone level is also low so I decided to do some test and found out that I have endometriosis :cry::cry: . Also did lap and dye and luckily my tubes were ok , but my estrogen level was very high. My doc told me to ttc till Aug before going for a lap. But I am just losing all hope, we have ttc this cycle after a long break but now I have slowly excepted the fact that I may never be able to conceive. My DH sperm test result was good, I feel very sad from him that because of me he has to go through all this. He is very supportive and never said a word about it but I cant stop blaming myself. Last 1.5yrs have been the longest yrs of my life :cry:


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## Mrs B.

:hugs:


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## pbl_ge

Cool, so sorry you're in this position. You've come to the right place, though. :hugs:

So how did they determine you have endometriosis without the lap? I thought that was the only way. They just found endo in my lap last month. :cry: It isn't necessarily a terrible diagnosis, as lots of women have it but still get pregnant. For some women (although the # isn't clear), the lap can really help. 

You and your OH may want to discuss what you'd be willing to do in terms of assisted conception. You also might want to ask your doc about progesterone supplementation during your luteal phase. Just remember that you still have options, so you don't have to give up hope of getting your bfp. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

And, hi MrsB! I remember you. :flower:


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## Goldfish

Don't lose hope! I know how you feel though - I have endo too, but only found out 2 years ago when I had a lot of pain. Although I haven't had a BFP (but my endo is pretty severe and I also have low AMH), I know of other women in real life and on BnB who have managed to conceive naturally with endo. I'm a bit confused though - you said your doc told you to TTC till August before going for a lap, but did you have a lap to check your tubes recently too?? Or do you mean you had another procedure to check your tubes (not a lap)?

Also, hi *pbl_ge *- I remember you from an old thread we were on together!


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## Mrs B.

pbl_ge said:


> Cool, so sorry you're in this position. You've come to the right place, though. :hugs:
> 
> So how did they determine you have endometriosis without the lap? I thought that was the only way. They just found endo in my lap last month. :cry: It isn't necessarily a terrible diagnosis, as lots of women have it but still get pregnant. For some women (although the # isn't clear), the lap can really help.
> 
> You and your OH may want to discuss what you'd be willing to do in terms of assisted conception. You also might want to ask your doc about progesterone supplementation during your luteal phase. Just remember that you still have options, so you don't have to give up hope of getting your bfp. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
> 
> And, hi MrsB! I remember you. :flower:

Hi pbl_ge! I remember you too :D

P.S - I'd also like to know how they found endo without the lap? I suspect I have it, but doc agreed that having a lap wasn't worth it in my situation (no symptoms other than painful periods). And Cool - a lot of people who have endo do manage to get pregnant, some naturally, some with a bit of help. Please don't think it's the end of your journey because it's not. :hugs:


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## MissGossip

Hi ladies, 

I'm currently n my period and am convinced I have endo, I have always had bad period pains but not excrutiating, the past couple of months I have had the WORST pain during bowel movement during my period, to the point where I can't go and make myself constipated for days it hurts that bad! I am SO scared to find out I have endo but have a docs appointment on Tues :( really been emotional today as I feel like maybe I'm just not meant to have children :( xxx


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## Mrs B.

Miss Gossip - Good luck at the docs, but remember that even if you do have endo it does not mean you won't have kids. Lots of people with endo (mild, moderate and severe) have children.


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## Coolstar

Sorry Ladies I could not reply soon coz every time I used to log in Bnb my laptop used to freeze. They told me I have endo with ultrasound (They did an internal ultrasound ). But did told me the extend of endo can only be diagnosed after lap. About the tubes they did HSG where they insert dye and then takes X ray.
I have no period pain. Before clomid at least my cycles were regular but for the the last 6 months after clomid everything as became haywire. Some cycle 16 days while next cycle 60 days :( . I am scheduled to a diff RE on Monday. Lets see what she has to say. I am so happy that I found support in LTTC.


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## Coolstar

MissGossip said:


> Hi ladies,
> 
> I'm currently n my period and am convinced I have endo, I have always had bad period pains but not excrutiating, the past couple of months I have had the WORST pain during bowel movement during my period, to the point where I can't go and make myself constipated for days it hurts that bad! I am SO scared to find out I have endo but have a docs appointment on Tues :( really been emotional today as I feel like maybe I'm just not meant to have children :( xxx

Wish u all the best. I know how you feel, we are all with you :hugs:


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## Goldfish

*Coolstar* - thanks for explaining, I get it now. I was told I probably had endo via a scan as well (they saw 2 big endometriomas on my ovaries) and the I had it formally diagnosed at the laparoscopy.

*missgossip* - good to hear that you have a dr appt soon. I know it's scary, but it really is better to know if you have any problems so they can help you, though I hope you don't have endo!


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## Coolstar

Goldfish : So you are free from endo after the lap right ? I have read many cases that endo returns soon after lap and 2nd time it is more fierce :(


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## pbl_ge

Oooh, is this a new endo group starting up in LTTTC? I love it! :flower: 

*Cool,* thanks for explaining. Did they tell you what evidence they saw of the endo in your scan? The doc told me they usually can't see it. I'm sorry your cycles have gotten wacky. Hopefully the new RE will help. :hugs:
*
Goldfish,* I remember you too. It looks like you had a bust of an IVF cycle--I'm so sorry, that must have been heartbreaking. :hugs: Are you planning on trying again with a different protocol? 

*MissGossip,* FX you don't have endo, but as MrsB points out, it's not the worst diagnosis to have. It's just a weird one that I don't think they understand very well yet. Hope you get good news. :hugs:

*MrsB,* I definitely agree that lots of ladies with endo get sticky bfps! 

Can we share our understanding of endo and how it affects fertility? I'm really confused about some things, and I think that confusion reflects the current science, but I'm not 100%. It seems like they don't really know why endo can affect fertility for those women who have not had structural damage. My doctor said it's believed to be due to inflammation processes. Is that what others have heard, too? :shrug: He also said that only about 1/12 women with endo benefit from the lap, meaning that only an additional ~8.3% will get pregnant after a lap compared with endo women who didn't have the lap. I don't remember if that's in 6 or 12 months. 

Does this sound like what you were told, too? If so, is anyone doing anything to reduce inflammation in the body? Like the endo diet? 
https://www.endo-resolved.com/diet.html

I'm unconvinced about how beneficial it would be, but I'd be willing to try if I thought there was a good chance it would help.

Has anyone else heard anything that would be helpful?


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## Coolstar

Wow so nice to connect with you Ladies !! I mean Endo is such a heart breaking thing to have, more then the pain it is the infertility :( .
I totally agree with pbl_ge . I think no one understands Endo properly.... like why it happens, why some get PG even with endo while others cant and most importantly how helpful is lap.
I am going to RE on Mon so if you Ladies have any question you can post and I can ask her and let you know.
Ya even I have heard about the endo diet but not sure how much it will help. I had read that if you have endo you should remain away from Milk products, soy, wheat and try to stick to more organic products.
Personally this cycle after ov I have started using progesterone cream. I don't know how much it will help but I think I have estrogen dominance too.


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## Goldfish

*Coolstar* - unfortunately once you have endo you'll never really be free from it... I had lots of adhesions and the dr only managed to remove 1 endometrioma (he just drained the other one). after having a course of zoladex my AF returned and my endometrioma grew back pretty quickly so I'm a bit scared. Luckily I haven't had pain though apart from some strange twinges once in a while.

*Pbl* - yes, we are hoping to do IVF again soon with a slightly different protocol (still the long protocol, but doing a short course of BCPs before that to try and calm the endo down a bit, plus I'll be on a higher dose of stimulation drugs due to my low AMH). 

I've also read about the link to inflammation. Apparently the endo causes our bodies to release inflammatory things that can impede implantation. Ive read about that endo diet but I can't afford to cut out food groups because I'm a bit underweight as it is and have trouble putting on weight! also I love my pasta and dairy too much!

on a positive note my friend had a lap for her endo when she was younger and she's managed to have 3 kids naturally!


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## Coolstar

Ooohhh what a stupid, frustrating and sad situation we are in :( I mean what's the use of doing lap if it returns :( I just feel like banging my head somewhere.
Gold : I am sure next time your IVF will be a success.


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## Goldfish

*Coolstar* - yes, it is very frustrating when our bodies don't behave, but at least the lap did reduce my pain. Although since finding out that I have very low AMH just before doing my first IVF, I do often wonder if it was the lap that contributed to this. But we're strong women and I still have hope that we will all be mums one day! It's nice to have other women in similar situations to talk to because I don't really have anyone in real life who understands what I've been through...


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## Coolstar

Does lap contribute to low AMH ,I did not know about it :(
Even for me its the same situation. Except my DH I have no one in real life to talk about my problems :( It's nice to connect with you all.


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## pbl_ge

Coolstar, I would love to hear what your RE says about how endo can affect fertility, and if s/he thinks that reducing inflammation is a good idea. Maybe even ask specifically about the endo diet? I've also heard that estrogen can increase endo problems (?? :shrug: ), and that there's a link with estrogen dominance and endo. But that may be BnB chatter that's not necessarily fact based.

Goldfish, hope the next IVF works out! :dust: 

I think the low AMH following a lap may be due to damage to the ovaries. Is that right?

Took my last BCP today, so now I'm waiting for AF to begin so I can start with the needles! :happydance:


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## Coolstar

pbl : I did not understand what you mean by reducing inflammation ??? Do you mean taking BCP ?


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## pbl_ge

No, sorry, I meant by following the health and diet plans that reduce overall inflammation in the body. 

Random links:
https://www.eatingwell.com/nutritio...ws_information/10_ways_to_reduce_inflammation
https://www.drweil.com/drw/u/ART02012/anti-inflammatory-diet

Did you already have you dr's visit? How did it go? :flower:


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## Goldfish

*Pbl* - thanks! yes, my dr said that oestrogen can make the endo worse too, which is in line with some things I've read, such as this paper:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22271293


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## Coolstar

Ok so I had gone for my RE visit, well she was really upfront and told me that now my best chances of getting PG is through IVF (well I knew that was coming). She thinks my egg quality is not good so she wants me to do some test. In fact she thinks I might have to go for donor egg.
About endo she told me that it would be with me till I have menopause. She would not advise lap since she thinks it might hurt/damage my ovaries. Also yes high estrogen and endo are related. About how endo effect fertility she told that due to endo the tubes get blocked, the ovaries get hurt and the egg quality also starts decreasing. My one side is of no use it seems so she is banking on the other side :(


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## Coolstar

Oh I forgot to mention she told me to do Clomid Challenge Test, now I am freaking out that it wont come good and that they would tell me even IVF is not a option for me :(


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## pbl_ge

Sorry you got bad news today, Coolstar. :hugs: I hope you pass the Clomid test with flying colors. It's better to have a clear picture of your situation in advance, so I think it's good that she wants to do it (although I have no idea how reliable that test is for gauging response from other drugs :shrug: ). How soon will that happen for you? :hugs: 

Goldfish, I'm glad I'm not the only who takes to pubmed for my i/f reading! :haha: 

I'm now officially waiting on AF to come so that we can start the injections. :happydance: I've been benched since my bfn in early June, so I'm really excited to try again!


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## Coolstar

pbl_ge said:


> Sorry you got bad news today, Coolstar. :hugs: I hope you pass the Clomid test with flying colors. It's better to have a clear picture of your situation in advance, so I think it's good that she wants to do it (although I have no idea how reliable that test is for gauging response from other drugs :shrug: ). How soon will that happen for you? :hugs:
> 
> Goldfish, I'm glad I'm not the only who takes to pubmed for my i/f reading! :haha:
> 
> I'm now officially waiting on AF to come so that we can start the injections. :happydance: I've been benched since my bfn in early June, so I'm really excited to try again!

pbl I am so excited for you :happydance: , FXed for you :thumbup: Keep us posted.

Well yest evening was a roller coaster ride for me, to be told that my egg quality might not be good due to which I may have failed IVF also. But we decided that our next step would be IVF. But it will take us 2-3 months more since we have to prepare ourselves financially. I am sure if there is a will there is a way. And thank you all for the support. It really means a lot to me :)


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## Goldfish

*Coolstar* - aw boo to your news! don't let the dr put you in a negative frame of mind though, no one knows what will happen when you do IVF and there is no way to determine what quality your eggs/embryos will be until you actually do it! My friend has endo, had a great response to IVF with lots of eggs, bfp!! I'm not sure why they want you do the clomid challenge test though? If your body fails the challenge, that doesn't prove that your IVF will or wont work?!

*Pbl* - tee hee, I use PubMed quite a lot actually! And I hope this the last time I say this to you, but hurry up AF!

AFM, I'm supposed to have my blood tests and follow-up done at my next AF (before starting IVF #2) but I have a feeling it's going to be very late because im only getting mucus yesterday (assuming I O yesterday then AF comes in about 2 weeks)


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## Coolstar

Goldfish said:


> *Coolstar* - aw boo to your news! don't let the dr put you in a negative frame of mind though, no one knows what will happen when you do IVF and there is no way to determine what quality your eggs/embryos will be until you actually do it! My friend has endo, had a great response to IVF with lots of eggs, bfp!! I'm not sure why they want you do the clomid challenge test though? If your body fails the challenge, that doesn't prove that your IVF will or wont work?!
> 
> *Pbl* - tee hee, I use PubMed quite a lot actually! And I hope this the last time I say this to you, but hurry up AF!
> 
> AFM, I'm supposed to have my blood tests and follow-up done at my next AF (before starting IVF #2) but I have a feeling it's going to be very late because im only getting mucus yesterday (assuming I O yesterday then AF comes in about 2 weeks)

Thank you so much Gold. So you would be going for your IVF#2 next cycle right ? Don't worry it is just 2 weeks and it will fly soon.
I would be going with IVF with a different RE. Didn't feel very comfortable with her and the irony is that she is herself PG. 
If you don't mind me asking, did they ask you for a Clomid test. What are the steps they usually tell besides Blood work/ultrasound to prepare for IVF.


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## Coolstar

Oohh and I forgot to mention Gold that I had read somewhere that CoQ10 helps in producing better quality egg.


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## Goldfish

*Coolstar* - yep I've read that about coenzyme Q10 too (as well as DHEA, and possibly wheatgrass and royal jelly or something? Don't quote me though...). For me personally, I'm more worried about quantity rather than quality of eggs, but it's definitely something I'd consider taking if the next IVF doesn't work. I'm hoping to get all my test and scans done in time so start BCP at the next cycle, so that I can start the downregulation drugs in September after I get back from holidays (doing the long protocol). 

As for the clomid challenge - no I wasn't asked to do it. I had an AMH test done and it came out very low, then I had a scan and I had very low antral follicle count as well, so already likely to have poor egg reserve, which is why I was given a high dose of stimulation drugs. Other tests you might have before IVF are the FSH, LH and oestradiol. I think it's a good idea to switch REs if you don't feel comfortable. Im doing my second IVF at a different clinic because I didn't think my first clinic was equipped to deal with poor responders like me.


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## pbl_ge

Goldfish it may be worth trying some supplements (coq10, dhea, epa, etc) to maximize quality in advance of your next round. Some women have have good success in raising amh with similar regimens. If you haven't read the first page of Lil's journal, it's worth a look:
https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/p...luz-has-tpp-40-lttc-1-rmc-parl-mthfr-amh.html
Another obsessive researcher and ltttc with a very happy ending. :flower:

Cool, not sure about prepring for ivf. :shrug:

:dust: to all....


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## Coolstar

I have started with Coq10 from my last cycle . Thought no harm in trying.

Gold : Did you ask them why your last cycle failed and what can you do different this cycle to make it a success.

pbl: Did AF show up ?


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## Goldfish

*Pbl* - DHEA is not licensed in the UK so I think doctors here aren't quite as keen on it as doctors in the US! I asked 2 fertility doctors (at 2 different clinics) about taking DHEA and neither of them believe in it! I think you need to take those things for at least 3 months for it to have an effect, so I'd prob consider it if the next IVF failed! 

*Coolstar* - I honestly think my last IVF was BFN because of bad luck. the chances weren't great because I responded very poorly to the stim drugs and only got 2 eggs - 1 looked abnormal so they discarded it so I only really had 1 egg left. It fertilised and the embryo was good quality, but I had to have a 2-day transfer because they couldn't risk it any longer just in case (better to be inside me than outside). I think if I can just get a few more eggs next time then I have a better chance because then they can grow them longer and choose what to put back. Next time they are putting me on a different stim drug and on higher dose!


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## Coolstar

Well I did some research and found out that ladies with endo *should not take DHEA*. Actually DHEA gets converted into testosterone and estrogen. And endo ladies should try to be away from extra estrogen as possible. Also I found out that Bee propolis/ royal jelly is good. Helps with low AMH and BFP. I will do some more research and let you ladies know.

Gold I am sure this time the drug will work and you will have lots of eggs. FXed for you.


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## pbl_ge

That's really good to know about the DHEA! I started off very afraid of supps bc they haven't been well-studied and you never know how they'll work with your body chemistry. At this point, aside from vitamins , I'm only on coq10 and bsby aspirin. I asked my doc about them and he said he puts them both in the same category: some evidence they might help, none that they'll hurt, so perfectly fine to take them. I didn't ask about any of the 8 billion other supps people talk about here. 

Sorry for the bad rec, Goldfish!

Today is supposed to be my first injection, but I'm still waiting for confirmation from the clinic about yesterday's blood test. OH is theoretically injecting me, but not likely today because we're in the midst of a rare fight. :grr: There is a possibility it's related to AF hormones :blush:, and me being upset when my nephew (age 8) badgered us about having a baby, but I'm still waiting for an apology. :sulk:

Big hugs to everyone. :hugs:


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## Coolstar

Oh those fights..... I rem once I had a big fight with my DH the day after I got +opk (suppose to ov that day) and I was like I don't want to talk with you but still we need to BD. LOL :)


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## itsnowmyturn

I hope u guys dont mind me posting here as im not yet ttc but I have endo, diagnosed with lap sept 2011, i have had two laps for it, both within 6 months of each other, I came onto here to look for people who have endo to see what my chances are of actually conceiving when I do start trying. I am terrified that endo will stop me being able to have a baby. After my laps my gynae told me I should have a baby to help me with the excruciating pain I get which I thought was very insensitive because he doesnt no that I actually can have a baby.

I decided to go see a new gynae and he put me on zoladex which puts ur body into a temporary menopause and this has given me my life back, obviously cant get pregnant on it and thats why Im waiting until october because thats when my final injection wears off. 

Can I ask you ladies that were diagnosed with endo before you started trying did your gynae give you any tips or say when to see a doctor if you hadnt conceived. I no as a general rule its one year but im hoping as i have endo they would give me a shorter time frame


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## pbl_ge

Welcome, INMT. :hi: I'm no help onyour questions, but just wanted to say that lots of endo women have no trouble conceiving. Hope you're one of them!


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## itsnowmyturn

thanks me too, Iv suffered since I was about 9, without going into the whole theory of my endo etc i think that it means the places i have the endo are the only places it would be and i believe these are the common areas (pouch of Douglas and right ligament, with a little on pelvic wall) and shouldnt have any impact on my fertility but I cant help but worry as nothing seems to help with it until Iv tried zoladex which has felt like a life saver and hope it has shrunk the deposits


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## Coolstar

Welcome itsnowmyturn, well for me since I don't show any sings of endo I was diagnosed with endo after I started ttc. We tried for 7/8 months then went to doc and he told me to do some blood work. My progesterone was very low, gave me 3 rounds of clomid. After that I changed doc and the next doc told me to do some u/s and it was then I was diagnosed with endo :( Then I went to RE and she told me IVF is my best option :( . Having said that, I have read many cases where endo ladies do conceive naturally. But Yes our chances are far less then normal ladies and ultimately everything depends on luck.

Just wanted to ask does any of you ladies know what is Lupron Depot shot and why is it given ?


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## itsnowmyturn

Coolstar said:


> Welcome itsnowmyturn, well for me since I don't show any sings of endo I was diagnosed with endo after I started ttc. We tried for 7/8 months then went to doc and he told me to do some blood work. My progesterone was very low, gave me 3 rounds of clomid. After that I changed doc and the next doc told me to do some u/s and it was then I was diagnosed with endo :( Then I went to RE and she told me IVF is my best option :( . Having said that, I have read many cases where endo ladies do conceive naturally. But Yes our chances are far less then normal ladies and ultimately everything depends on luck.
> 
> Just wanted to ask does any of you ladies know what is Lupron Depot shot and why is it given ?

Lupron is very similar to zoladex which im on in that it stops your hormones, i has worked for me but you cant get pregnant on it and theres no guarantee u will be more fertile, it is supposed to shrink the endo deposits by starving them of their hormones.
I didnt think they could diagnose endo with u/s my u/s didnt show a thing and they can only see the cysts not the actual deposits which could mean you have the cysts but no endo, without a lap they cant (and shouldn't) tell you for certain you have it without a lap.
what i do no is that many people with endo find that after a lap they are more fertile for the next 6 months so i would really push for one if i was you.

Im so sorry its taken so long to get answers, i couldnt even imagine not being able to conceive without a reason, not being able to conceive would be bad enough but no explanation is just unreal. I really hope you can see a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Endo really is a sucky sucky disease :growlmad:


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## Coolstar

Thanks a lot INMT. The RE advised me against lap. It is all very confusing :( for me. She did told me if I go for IVF I should take lupron shots for 3 months before starting. I was not sure what it is used for although I read that you cannot get PG while taking lupron. Did your endo shrink after taking zoladex ?
Yes she did told me if I go for lap the next 6 months I have more chance of conceiving but if I don't within that time I have a high chance of endo coming back. 

Endo and infertility is so depressing :(


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## itsnowmyturn

I'm still on the zoladex last shot in September wears off in October but iv Bern completely pain free since starting it in April n for me that's an amazing result because the pain has be hugging the toilet seat thinking I'm going to be sick, its very much described as end labour pains n I always feel the intense bearing down feelin, I go all clammy n sweaty n literally cannot hold a convo because the pain is too much I end up in tears n feeling like my uterus has gone 10 rounds with mike Tyson, which leads me to believe I also have adenomyosis which is endo inside ur uterus wall n makes it cramp up which can lead to difficulties in carrying to term as ur uterus gets to a point where its so damaged that when getting to a point in pregnancy it cannot stretch anymore and u miscarry or go into vet early labour. But there is no way of diagnosing this until u have a hysterectomy.

My endo came straight bk infact neither laps helped in the slightest n my pain came right in time. I don't no what I can do after the zoladex because after all these years its clear no surgery or pills help my pain which got me to a point where I was like I just cannot take this pain anymore, I was living my life waitin for the next lot to come which is why I feel so much that the zoladex has given me my life bk.

Endo takes so many things away from u n it nearly got me to a point where I was like ok let's get having kids done and I then want a hysterectomy n I'm only 24, my life revolved around it.

The lap isn't bad, I had two weeks off work but the pain really subsided after a few days its just sore, its one if them things that's worth a shot, I never recovered after my second tho and developed fibromyalgia which also flared up joint hypermobililty syndrome so my second was prob a mistake but I don't regret trying I wud have developed these other things in time anyway. 

I hope u get things sorted soon, I sympathize with u so much xx


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## Coolstar

INMT :hugs: , I just wish we all get pregnant soon. We all deserve happiness after all the pain we have endured :flower: .


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## itsnowmyturn

Absolutely. Has ur Dr mentioned anything about increasing progesterone levels because then obviously oestrogen is lower n it might shrink the endo, I'm not really sure whether it possible when TTC as I haven't looked into it but if I was in ur situation, I wud try any simple remedies first I.e. pills n herbal stuff, anything suggested really, then consider surgery then last resort IVF. I can't even imagine how u feel I wud feel very lost and very angry but I'm not in that situation (yet). I do no a lot of ppl who have got pregnant when they decided to stop trying. There is a lovely thread in the pregnancy club about ppl who thought they wud never get pregnant.

One thing I will say is a lap will tell u how severe the endo is, that can also give u an indication of what might help, again not looked into it but I no ppl who had very severe endo with organs stuck to each other n the surgeon did their best but cudnt free some bits which meant it wud only be possible ic baby was planted in uterus instead of meeting sperm then goin into uterus. It killed her but she always said that she was glad she found out because she cud deal with it better and it took some strain off her relationship.


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## Coolstar

My doc did told me that ladies with endo do tend to have high level of estrogen. They are related somehow. I did try pills like vitex and all but it did not help me :( 
My doc also told me I might have failed IVF cycle. Since those who have endo have poor quality of egg :( . My family has a history of early menopause around 44 and I am 31+ :( , I am scared that I will hit menopause soon.
It is like everyday I pray to God for a miracle. Sometime I feel angry that others are getting PG without even trying....... here I am trying so long and hard. but slowly I have started accepting the facts of life. I know some ladies in bnb who have tried far more long then I have. I do pray for everyone and I am keeping Fxed for you that you don't travel down the path we are in.


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## itsnowmyturn

Bless u. Il keep my fingers crossed for u, sounds like u have a knowledgeable doctor 
I wish u every luck


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## Coolstar

I would be going to one more RE and then take the final call. Thank you so much. It feels nice to connect with ladies who really understands my situation.


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## Goldfish

*Pbl* - oh dear! Did you end up starting the injections yet?

*Itsnowmyturn* - I've been on zoladex too! I was on a single 3-month depot though (it's not as well researched as the 1-month depot like the one you're on), so I had effects for 9 long months after my lap. I used to have pain as well, but I haven't had pain like that since my lap so I really sympathise with you!! We started TTC immediately after I got AF back after the zoladex, but that was because we were planning to start TTC around the time my pain started anyway (yep, talk about timing!). Unfortunately since I haven't had any luck with TTC, my suggestion to you would be to see someone if no luck after 6 months. At least if there's any other issues you will get help sooner rather than later. 

Can you ask your dr about other things apart from zoladex? My friend had painful endo when she was young and got put on an implant, she said that helped?

*Coolstar* - I've read that some doctors put women on lupron just before IVF as it's like the downregulation step of the long IVF protocol. It might be to help calm the endo down a bit.


----------



## itsnowmyturn

I'm TTC after my zoladex is done so don't want anything hormonal, I'm dreading coming off it because my pain is goin to come straight back I no it is, it makes u live in fear it really messes with ur life. 
I'm hoping that with where my endo is it will not affect my fertility. But yeah will be going for help if not pregnant by march provided af comes bk straight away. How long did it take urs after ur injection wore off??


----------



## Goldfish

my zoladex was a 3-month dose but it lasted for 9 months! I found it awful mainly because the last 6 months I got really anxious waiting for my cycle to come back so we could start TTC properly! also didn't enjoy the 9 months of hot flushes! I've read that the dose you're on is way more reliable so hopefully your cycle will come back much sooner (like within 1-2 months).


----------



## pbl_ge

Hi ladies!

You've totally lost me on all the meds. I've always been anti-meds ... but now I say bring them on! I was just on some BCP, so I hope I get some benefit from that.

I've been doing injectables since the 2nd, and they lowered my dose from 150 to 75, so I guess I'm responding okay. Another endo woman here got her bfp with the same meds, so I'm very hopeful!

Big hugs to everyone. :hugs:


----------



## itsnowmyturn

Eugh the hot sweats suck but I'm glad that's all I get it cud be much worse. I think I will try to be as relaxed as I can about cycle although I have my last injection 13th Sept n wears off 11th October n I really want to start straight away but obviously no harm in practicing lol


----------



## bebeh

Hi,

I have been trying to conceive for 5 months. I had a lap in 2009 and diagnosed with endo. Dr put me on the pill.

Anyway, I went for a routine check and they couldnt find my ovary or uterus on ultrasound so had HSG and one ovary was present. Obviously I had 2 in 2009.

I am extremely worried as I have been given no advice. Drs don't seem to care or know what they are doing.

Has anyone heard of anything like this before?

Any tips?


----------



## pbl_ge

Sorry, Bebeh. :hugs: This is a total guess, but do your doctors want you to try longer before they intervene? Five months is really not that long to TTC, although I know it feels like a long time.

You obviously have the full set of equipment, but it sounds like a bad ultrasound technician. :nope: Could you get a second opinion?

Hope your sticky bfp comes soon. :hugs:


----------



## itsnowmyturn

Is it possible ur other ovary is stuck down with adhesions? 
I wud ask them for another lap if ur still struggling in a few months. Are ur cycles regular or do u only ovulate every other month? Every other month I wud go bk to person who did lap n ask if they saw two ovaries in there or only one


----------



## Coolstar

bebeh said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have been trying to conceive for 5 months. I had a lap in 2009 and diagnosed with endo. Dr put me on the pill.
> 
> Anyway, I went for a routine check and they couldnt find my ovary or uterus on ultrasound so had HSG and one ovary was present. Obviously I had 2 in 2009.
> 
> I am extremely worried as I have been given no advice. Drs don't seem to care or know what they are doing.
> 
> Has anyone heard of anything like this before?
> 
> Any tips?

Oh I am so sorry :hugs: , Endo has a tendency to return so it might be that it came back after lap and effected your ovaries. I am sure it is still there if it was there when you had your 1st lap. Its better to ask your 2009 doc about it or better take your old reports to your new doc and ask him/her what your next step should be. Also ladies do conceive with 1 ovary so don't feel disappointed.
I know what you mean by _Drs don't seem to care or know what they are doing._. I personally feel that they don't have much understanding about endo yet :wacko:


----------



## Coolstar

pbl_ge said:


> Hi ladies!
> 
> You've totally lost me on all the meds. I've always been anti-meds ... but now I say bring them on! I was just on some BCP, so I hope I get some benefit from that.
> 
> I've been doing injectables since the 2nd, and they lowered my dose from 150 to 75, so I guess I'm responding okay. Another endo woman here got her bfp with the same meds, so I'm very hopeful!
> 
> Big hugs to everyone. :hugs:

FXed for you :thumbup: , it brings smile to my face when endo ladies get BFP :flower:


----------



## Coolstar

Goldfish said:


> *Pbl* - oh dear! Did you end up starting the injections yet?
> 
> *Itsnowmyturn* - I've been on zoladex too! I was on a single 3-month depot though (it's not as well researched as the 1-month depot like the one you're on), so I had effects for 9 long months after my lap. I used to have pain as well, but I haven't had pain like that since my lap so I really sympathise with you!! We started TTC immediately after I got AF back after the zoladex, but that was because we were planning to start TTC around the time my pain started anyway (yep, talk about timing!). Unfortunately since I haven't had any luck with TTC, my suggestion to you would be to see someone if no luck after 6 months. At least if there's any other issues you will get help sooner rather than later.
> 
> Can you ask your dr about other things apart from zoladex? My friend had painful endo when she was young and got put on an implant, she said that helped?
> 
> *Coolstar* - I've read that some doctors put women on lupron just before IVF as it's like the downregulation step of the long IVF protocol. It might be to help calm the endo down a bit.

Gold if you don't mind me asking , was your IVF long or short protocol. And on what basis do they decide which to follow (long/short) any idea.


----------



## Goldfish

Coolstar said:


> Gold if you don't mind me asking , was your IVF long or short protocol. And on what basis do they decide which to follow (long/short) any idea.

Coolstar - I was on long protocol (downreg on buserelin and stim on Gonal-F). I was told that long protocol allows for better control of eggs growing at similar rate and has similar success to short protocol. I plan on doing IVF #2 at a different clinic to the first one and they recommended long protocol as well (due to my endo, as they want to dampen it a bit first).


----------



## pbl_ge

Ladies:

Spoiler
I overresponded. I have about 15 follies that are > 10 mm. Another 30 or so in the 9-10 range. I was given two options: cancel the cycle or convert to IVF.

If I do cancel, then these stim drugs are not an option for me, unless it's an IVF cycle. 

I have to decide how I want to proceed by tomorrow at the latest, as they have to start me on meds to prevent early ovulation. 

I am not even a little bit emotionally prepared for IVF.


----------



## Coolstar

pbl_ge said:


> Ladies:
> 
> Spoiler
> I overresponded. I have about 15 follies that are > 10 mm. Another 30 or so in the 9-10 range. I was given two options: cancel the cycle or convert to IVF.
> 
> If I do cancel, then these stim drugs are not an option for me, unless it's an IVF cycle.
> 
> I have to decide how I want to proceed by tomorrow at the latest, as they have to start me on meds to prevent early ovulation.
> 
> I am not even a little bit emotionally prepared for IVF.

Oh pbl :hugs: , cant you cancel this cycle and go for low dose stim drugs next cycle. I totally get you when you said to be _*emotionally prepared *_for IVF. I know its the last step anyone wants to take. Why something so natural needs to be so difficult for us. When the RE told me about IVF I came home and cried that evening. We are all with you.


----------



## Coolstar

Goldfish said:


> Coolstar said:
> 
> 
> Gold if you don't mind me asking , was your IVF long or short protocol. And on what basis do they decide which to follow (long/short) any idea.
> 
> Coolstar - I was on long protocol (downreg on buserelin and stim on Gonal-F). I was told that long protocol allows for better control of eggs growing at similar rate and has similar success to short protocol. I plan on doing IVF #2 at a different clinic to the first one and they recommended long protocol as well (due to my endo, as they want to dampen it a bit first).Click to expand...

Thanks Gold, I am trying to learn as much as I can about IVF.


----------



## pbl_ge

Edit: doc just called. Bloodwork contradicts scan results. I have no idea what's going on. 

:shrug:


----------



## Coolstar

What blood results ??? What did the doc say.


----------



## pbl_ge

Coolstar said:


> What blood results ??? What did the doc say.

They monitor your estrogen at the same time as they do scans. I'm not 100% of the endocrinology behind it, but apparently the fact that my estrodial levels plateaued means that there's something going on aside from follies growing growing growing. :shrug: My doc said it might mean that some of them have started to shrink, so it's still possible for this cycle to continue as planned to timed intercourse. 

So, my dosage was increased to see if there are a few or a lot of follies, OR, worst case, an in between number that is exactly too wrong for either course.

If I were a betting woman, I'd say this cycle is toast. :nope:


----------



## YearningHeart

CoolStar - Heyy how are you? I was like you, well I still am - Trying to learn about IVF as much as possible. I was told by the GYN that my best choice is to have IVF (I didnt have any clomid or anything) so I started doing so much research on IVF which is pretty intesting..

However I dont think I understood it well until I experienced it, Well Im experiencing it now. I just stated my IVF process, Im currently taking Gonal-F injections. I guess you know well when you experience something. Anyways I hope everything works out well for you. What stage are you currently at?

xx


----------



## YearningHeart

Sorry excuse the spelling errors. I have a bad habit, I dont double check what I type. I just think of it, type it, send it. lol


----------



## Goldfish

*Pbl* - oh I'm sorry this cycle is so odd! The promising thing is that you seem to have a lot of potential follies though, so hopefully they will learn something about your response to the meds! it means that next time they'll be able to balance the meds better!


----------



## pbl_ge

Goldfish said:


> *Pbl* - oh I'm sorry this cycle is so odd! The promising thing is that you seem to have a lot of potential follies though, so hopefully they will learn something about your response to the meds! it means that next time they'll be able to balance the meds better!

Thanks, Goldfish. The second doc I spoke to yesterday, my usual doc, disagreed with the first doc about the future use of these drugs for me. First doc said they were not for me outside of IVF. My regular doc thought differently. 

:shrug:

Yearning, I've been on the Gonal-F, too. Found it pretty easy, although I had a tiny bit of dry mouth. Keep drinking fluids! 

:dust:


----------



## YearningHeart

pbl - Thanks for that tip! Today is my day 4 of Gonal F injection. I have a scan on Monday. How many days have you been taking the Gonal F injection?


----------



## pbl_ge

I'm CD11 now, and started on CD3. I have another scan tomorrow, and should know what the plan is then. I'd be okay with either insemination or IVF conversion, but I'm having a hard time seeing how all those follies they saw yesterday will pare down to a small enough number to do regular insemination. :shrug: 

Good luck at your scan! Since you're doing IVF I hope you have gobs and gobs!


----------



## YearningHeart

Sorry I didnt get that fully. Your doing IVF right? As far as I know, on Monday the doctor will do a scan and then tell me when I should take cetrotide injections. 

I wish you the best too! x


----------



## pbl_ge

I'm as confused as you. :haha: 

I wasn't, and may still not be, doing IVF. I started off just using Gonal-F to get my left ovary to do something, as my right tube is non-functional and that ovary is very dominant. The plan was simply to do timed intercourse. But as of yesterday (CD 10), I had ~15 follies over 10 mm and an additional 30 or so at about 10 mm ( :shock: :shock: :shock: ), which is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many to do timed intercourse or IUI. :nope: The risk of multiples would be very high. So they started talking about converting this cycle to an IVF cycle. 

But then my blood tests (for estrogen aka estradiol) came back with ambiguous results, so they're not sure what I'm doing. I have another scan and blood test tomorrow when I'll hopefully have results that are EITHER good for timed intercourse OR IVF. I'm scared of that middle ground where I'd have too many follies to try on my own, but not enough to make IVF worthwhile. 

In the meantime I'm just kind of losing my mind. :wacko: I do know that I'm very lucky to have ovaries that respond like this--a lot of women are not so fortunate. I'm older, though, at almost 36, so I'm assuming a greater proportion of those are not of good quality. :shrug: There's got to be some reason I haven't had a bfp in a year, since egg production #s clearly aren't the problem. 

Sorry to write an essay. :blush:


----------



## YearningHeart

Ahhhh I see! lol

I thought Gonal F is taken only for IVF. Honestly speaking I actually dont know much other than what I experience even with IVF. I read up sooo much when I found out that Im going to start IVF however I dont think I understood well until I started it.

I wish you the best with your scan and blood test. Keep us updated of what happens. Its so intresting how everyone has different stories of their infertility. I have PCOS and my right tube is blocked so because of that Im on IVF now.


----------



## Coolstar

Yearningheart : I am happy that you joined the thread. I have not started IVF, just few days back I was told by my RE that IVF is my best bet since I have endometriosis. I know exactly what you mean by understanding while experimenting. We have decided to go ahead with IVF but I need 2 to 3 months before starting the process.
So are you in long protocol or short ? FXed for you IVF process, I know you must be nervous and excited both at the same time. PLs do update us. Lots of baby dust to you.


----------



## Coolstar

pbl_ge said:


> I'm as confused as you. :haha:
> 
> I wasn't, and may still not be, doing IVF. I started off just using Gonal-F to get my left ovary to do something, as my right tube is non-functional and that ovary is very dominant. The plan was simply to do timed intercourse. But as of yesterday (CD 10), I had ~15 follies over 10 mm and an additional 30 or so at about 10 mm ( :shock: :shock: :shock: ), which is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many to do timed intercourse or IUI. :nope: The risk of multiples would be very high. So they started talking about converting this cycle to an IVF cycle.
> 
> But then my blood tests (for estrogen aka estradiol) came back with ambiguous results, so they're not sure what I'm doing. I have another scan and blood test tomorrow when I'll hopefully have results that are EITHER good for timed intercourse OR IVF. I'm scared of that middle ground where I'd have too many follies to try on my own, but not enough to make IVF worthwhile.
> 
> In the meantime I'm just kind of losing my mind. :wacko: I do know that I'm very lucky to have ovaries that respond like this--a lot of women are not so fortunate. I'm older, though, at almost 36, so I'm assuming a greater proportion of those are not of good quality. :shrug: There's got to be some reason I haven't had a bfp in a year, since egg production #s clearly aren't the problem.
> 
> Sorry to write an essay. :blush:

OK I get it now. I am hopeful that your results will be good and you get PG with timed :sex: this cycle. I am very worried that when I go for IVF I will not produce enough eggs so its a good news that you have produced so many eggs. And if you go for IVF you need only 1 healthy egg to fertilize so you have a good chance of BFP this cycle . I am really keeping my fingers crossed for you :thumbup:. Do update us.


----------



## YearningHeart

Coolstar - What is long/short protocol? Lol. 

All I know is right not Im taking the Gonal - F injection which today is going to be the 4th day, then on Monday I go for a scan and then after that... Im not sure. I will definitely update you. Thanks by the way! xx

Ok now Im off because I have to take the Gonal F injection now.


----------



## pbl_ge

Isn't the difference between short and long that long involves a period of downregulation (such as birth control pills) first? :shrug: If you didn't do anything like that, then I think you'd be on the short protocol. 

I do wonder if a long protocol would be better for endo women because the BCP could help calm the endometriosis/inflammation problems, but that may be off-the-cuff bs. :shrug: :haha: 

V. nervous about scan tomorrow. I don't see how 15 large follies gets to a range that would be safe for :sex:, but what do I know? The doc himself is doing the scan, which is weird enough on its own!


----------



## pbl_ge

Btw, Yearning, can I ask what your Gonal-F dosage is?


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## YearningHeart

pbl - Heyyyy dont stress, I pray you get good news tomorrow. Make sure you keep us updated. Best of Luck!

Im taking 150 dosage. What about u?


----------



## YearningHeart

I think mine is long protocal. I first took Microgynon tablets for 3 weeks and that us birth control pill as far as I know. Once I stopped that, I then moved to the Gonal F injection


----------



## pbl_ge

YearningHeart said:


> pbl - Heyyyy dont stress, I pray you get good news tomorrow. Make sure you keep us updated. Best of Luck!
> 
> Im taking 150 dosage. What about u?

They started me out at 150, too. Then 75, then 37.5, now back at 75.
:shrug:

And yes, sounds like long protocol to me!


----------



## bebeh

Well I had two ovaries in 2009 but after hsg they think I have one ovary and tube missing or not attached. They seem to have dismissed endo completely, I also suffered a severe infection after hsg and nearly had it all removed.

I think endo has blocked one side of me personally. I have heavy periods that are 28-31 days but only last 3 days, very painful. This month I experienced spotting 4 days before for the first time.

This month I tried an ovulation kit and I had a positive although I believe it doesn't prove you ovulate or that your eggs are good.

I'm based in china now so it's very difficult, I have requested photos from my lap in 2009. I also don't like to leave things, are there tests I could do? 

It's nice to hear from people with endo, it's so hard to talk about sometimes.


----------



## bebeh

Good luck ladies x


----------



## pbl_ge

So the docs now think I actually ovulated prematurely, some time last week. :cry: This cycle has apparently been over for days, even though I didn't know it.

We've been told to consider whether we want to try this again or move straight to IVF. :shrug:


----------



## YearningHeart

pbl - Im sorry to hear that! Lots of hugs! xx

Take your time to decide what you want, I hope it all works out for you!

By the way what country are you from because your timing is very different to mine. Im from UK.


----------



## pbl_ge

Timing? I'm in the US. :flower:

:hugs:


----------



## Coolstar

bebeh said:


> Well I had two ovaries in 2009 but after hsg they think I have one ovary and tube missing or not attached. They seem to have dismissed endo completely, I also suffered a severe infection after hsg and nearly had it all removed.
> 
> I think endo has blocked one side of me personally. I have heavy periods that are 28-31 days but only last 3 days, very painful. This month I experienced spotting 4 days before for the first time.
> 
> This month I tried an ovulation kit and I had a positive although I believe it doesn't prove you ovulate or that your eggs are good.
> 
> I'm based in china now so it's very difficult, I have requested photos from my lap in 2009. I also don't like to leave things, are there tests I could do?
> 
> It's nice to hear from people with endo, it's so hard to talk about sometimes.

Oh :hugs: I don't get it how can the ovary be missing now :wacko: , you can go for another HSG with a new doctor to reconfirm it. You can also start charting if you are not. I know +opk does not mean confirmed ovulation. But I have seen cases where ladies get PG with one ovary and tube with no problem. I mean you just need one good quality egg and sperm. I know endo can be so tough, we are here to support each other :hugs:


----------



## Coolstar

pbl_ge said:


> So the docs now think I actually ovulated prematurely, some time last week. :cry: This cycle has apparently been over for days, even though I didn't know it.
> 
> We've been told to consider whether we want to try this again or move straight to IVF. :shrug:

Oh no :hugs: , were you charting, did it show temp shift. The bright side is you know the meds react well with you and when you go for IVF you have a good chance of BFP.


----------



## Coolstar

Heart , I think they do long protocol with endo ladies. Even the doc I consulted told me about long protocol. Gonal F injection is used for egg production. How many Gonal F injection will you be taking.Sending you wishes that you produce good quality + quantity egg :)


----------



## YearningHeart

Hi ladies!

I just had my scan today after taking Gonal F, Now from today I will be taking Cetrotide injection as well continuing the Gonal F (I cant wait til all these injections finish!) Also today I had to have a blood test too. The nurse couldnt find my vein and she took the needle in and out which stressed me and made me panic, then she sent me to the main blood centre which they also found it hard to get my vein and they said that was because I was dehydrated so I had to drink water thereafter it was fine.

How you ladies been? xx


----------



## pbl_ge

Yearning, drink lots of water! Better yet an electrolyte drink, like Gatorade. Did they see good #s of follies?

:dust:


----------



## YearningHeart

pbl - Thanks for the tip! Yeah I do need to drink a lot of water. The Doc said they its all fine but still early days. x


----------



## Coolstar

Yayyy anything for the baby :) Drink as much water as you can. Baby dust to you !!


----------



## Goldfish

*Pbl* - :hugs:

*Yearning* - Good luck for your stims!


----------



## Coolstar

Hi Ladies, how is everyone doing ?


----------



## pbl_ge

I'm still reeling from my disaster of a cycle, and deciding what we want to do next. :flower: Have found out my insurance covers nearly 100% of IVF, so I may do it much sooner than I expected. 

How are you, Cool? 

:hugs:


----------



## Goldfish

I got AF today :( The worst thing was I managed to make both me and hubby think that I might actually be pregnant because it was a few days later than my 'average' cycle (even though I didn't test!). Today I rang the fertility clinic and somehow got a last minute appt tomorrow after a walk-in blood test today, so hopefully I can start my next IVF ASAP!

*Pbl* - I'm glad you don't have to worry about it from a financial point of view. My first IVF was fully covered by the NHS (UK public health system) but we are paying for this next one ourselves. 

*Cool* - how are you doing?


----------



## YearningHeart

Goldfish - Just out of interest how many NHS funded IVF are you entitles to?


----------



## Goldfish

My PCT only funds 1 round! I know some areas get up to 3 rounds but i think that's quite unusual. What about you?


----------



## pbl_ge

Sorry for AF, Goldfish. :hugs: The months that get your hopes up are the worst. :nope:


----------



## Coolstar

pbl_ge said:


> I'm still reeling from my disaster of a cycle, and deciding what we want to do next. :flower: Have found out my insurance covers nearly 100% of IVF, so I may do it much sooner than I expected.
> 
> How are you, Cool?
> 
> :hugs:

Great news that your insurance will cover the IVF, mine does not cover anything related to infertility :( .
What insurance do you have ? And what is the monthly premium for your insurance.
So when are you planning to go for IVF ?


----------



## Coolstar

Goldfish said:


> I got AF today :( The worst thing was I managed to make both me and hubby think that I might actually be pregnant because it was a few days later than my 'average' cycle (even though I didn't test!). Today I rang the fertility clinic and somehow got a last minute appt tomorrow after a walk-in blood test today, so hopefully I can start my next IVF ASAP!
> 
> *Pbl* - I'm glad you don't have to worry about it from a financial point of view. My first IVF was fully covered by the NHS (UK public health system) but we are paying for this next one ourselves.
> 
> *Cool* - how are you doing?

Oh Gold :hugs: , I know it is so sad to see AF :cry: . But the good thing is that you can move ahead with you IVF now. I am praying for you.


----------



## pbl_ge

Coolstar said:


> pbl_ge said:
> 
> 
> I'm still reeling from my disaster of a cycle, and deciding what we want to do next. :flower: Have found out my insurance covers nearly 100% of IVF, so I may do it much sooner than I expected.
> 
> How are you, Cool?
> 
> :hugs:
> 
> Great news that your insurance will cover the IVF, mine does not cover anything related to infertility :( .
> What insurance do you have ? And what is the monthly premium for your insurance.
> So when are you planning to go for IVF ?Click to expand...

It's a combo of Blue Cross and United. It's a strange thing that's particular to my state, and is only given to state employees. I can't remember what my premiums are, but they're not cheap! I didn't sign up for this plan until I realized that I was likely to need i/f treatment, and I knew their coverage of it was exceptionally good. 

Not sure how soon IVF will happen. I scheduled an appt with my RE for Monday to discuss options. :flower:


----------



## YearningHeart

Yeah I heard in some places they give 1/3 round of free IVF. I get 3 round of IVF because of the location im in. Some places I think there is no free round of IVF. I hope it works out for all. xx


----------



## Coolstar

Pbl, that's great that your insurance would be covering IVF. I have cigna and it does not cover infertility. I hate health insurance company, most of them are blood sucking LOL . Which state you are in ?


----------



## Coolstar

Heart : Wow you will get 3 rounds of free IVF !! I am sure you will get BFP in your 1st round :)


----------



## itsnowmyturn

I think in the UK u get 3 rounds free but they judge it case by case (don't hold me to that Im not certain haven't looked into it) I do find it comforting to no that I don't have to save up thousands if I do need it and I feel for the women who do.

My second to last zoladex injection tomorrow time has gone fast and now I'm both excited about coming off it and nervous about it as well in case endo pains come back. I never thought I cud go this long pain free


----------



## YearningHeart

Itsnowmyturn - Yeah I know what you mean, I really feel for ladies who have to pay for IVF treatment when it doesnt work, I hope all those that go through IVF, it works out. Its not all part of UK, It all depends on the location. Some parts of UK give 1 free IVF and some give 3 Free IVFs as far as I know.

Cool - Thanks! I really hope it does work the first time. 

I used to think IVF is easy thing and if it doesnt work out then no big deal just do it again! But its not like that.. I mean Im in half way process of my IVF and mentally is a pressure and a stress. Iv always got that worry of what if it doesnt work out, Its hard not to stress and its not as easy as I thought. If it doesnt work out it will really effect me mentally, anyways enough of me going on about my thoughts which might not even happen! Hope all u ladies r well! xxxxx


----------



## Coolstar

Heart I am one of those ladies who will pay for IVF treatment :( so I am praying that I don't get a failed cycle.


----------



## YearningHeart

Cool - Ohhhh I hope hope hope it works out for you first time without any hiccups! xxx


----------



## itsnowmyturn

YearningHeart said:


> Itsnowmyturn - Yeah I know what you mean, I really feel for ladies who have to pay for IVF treatment when it doesnt work, I hope all those that go through IVF, it works out. Its not all part of UK, It all depends on the location. Some parts of UK give 1 free IVF and some give 3 Free IVFs as far as I know.
> 
> Cool - Thanks! I really hope it does work the first time.
> 
> I used to think IVF is easy thing and if it doesnt work out then no big deal just do it again! But its not like that.. I mean Im in half way process of my IVF and mentally is a pressure and a stress. Iv always got that worry of what if it doesnt work out, Its hard not to stress and its not as easy as I thought. If it doesnt work out it will really effect me mentally, anyways enough of me going on about my thoughts which might not even happen! Hope all u ladies r well! xxxxx

Thanks I didn't no that, will be worth looking into when we r choosing where to live in the future if we can't conceive (8 weeks today until I move over to TTC section) 



Coolstar said:


> Heart I am one of those ladies who will pay for IVF treatment :( so I am praying that I don't get a failed cycle.

Good luck I really hope ur first round is successful n u get ur precious bfp xx


----------



## 8longyears

I also have endometriosis, I conceived my daughter the first time i had sex when i was 15 years old:baby:!!! I didnt dialate properly though and had emergency Csec & its been horror ever since! My aunt had endo and when i had told her about the horrible pains i had been experiencing she told me her history and explained she had NEVER gotten pregnant! I decided to start trying again at only 16 years old, I was very mature for my age (please dont judge) and thought that since ive always wanted 2 children; what if i couldnt have one later on..but from then on I never did conceive untill 2 months ago (after 8 yrs TTC!)! I got my first BFP and shortly after found out it wasnt a viable pregnancy and was in fact a blighted ovum :cry: i have been heart broken ever since and i have heard endometriosis causes poor egg quality which is the cause of blighted ovums but i cant help but wonder if i have conceived many other times like chem preg and such:wacko:?? since my recent BFP it has given me lots of hope though for everyone having trouble TTC because even though my baby didnt develop I DID CONCEIVE and as far as i kno its the first time in 8 years!! I was diagnosed with endo in feb 2010 did lupron injections and 2 rounds clomid, all nothing:dohh:. my tubes are clear and ive never had cysts, scar tissue on reproductive tissue or anything just stage II endo attatched to abdominal wal:nope:l.. makes me wonder if its the bad eggs or NK cells.. has anyone with endo here been tested for NK cells and has diagnoses of endo? or what about egg quality?? I had began taking Maca, & bee propolis 4 months before my BFP i received in june . today i applied natural progesterone cream since i ovulated 2-3 days ago although my progesterone was 9.7 on day 23 (i O on day 17-18 so thats why its day 23) so i wonder if i need the progesterone however i read it can help with immune issues??


----------



## YearningHeart

8longyear - Heyyy How are you? Im so sorry to hear about the fail of the pregnancy! It must be hard, a very long wait. I pray all this wait is worth it and you see a BFP soon. I dont understand some of the words you mentioned as I have not come across it but I wish you the best! xx
I know many people who got married young and had children at young age, its nice because you can see the child grow. Im becoming an oldie and Iv never seen a BFP yet :-( Hopefully soon 

Take care! xx


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## Unlucky41

8longyears have you considered ivf? Doing my maths are you only 24 that is still really young you should definitely have a chance however probably need a little bit of help.


Question for everyone with Endo - do you think Laparoscopy helps? Did your quality of eggs improve afterwards?

I just had my last ivf after a lap test and had no embryos to transfer so sad:cry:

Now just waiting for aunt flo to come so I can schedule my next ivf


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## YearningHeart

Unlucky41 - Awwwww Im sorry to hear that! I hope your next IVF goes well and successful! Best of Luck. Take it easy. xx


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## pbl_ge

There are tons of theories about how endo decreases fertility, in cases where it hasn't caused structural problems. We talked early in this thread about how the most common theories have to do with inflammation interfering with implantation. I'm not sure about egg quality issues. :shrug: I did a bit of searching, and what I found was specific about endo that's found inside the ovaries. I'm not sure if endo would have an effect on egg quality if it's only in the abdomen. 

I think the NK cells are potentially an issue with endo women, but I'm not really sure. 

But, I'm not sure anyone really knows. I think there are a lot of unresolved questions about endo. 

As for the lap, my doctor told me that an additional 1 in 12 women with endometriosis will get pregnant following the lap compared with endo women who didn't get it. I'm not sure if that's in 6 or 12 months. So there's a positive effect, but it's small. That's, of course, in addition to whatever % of those 12 women would get pregnant in that time anyway.

Unlucky, I'm sorry your IVF didn't work. :hugs: 

Yearning, I hope you get a bfp soon. :hugs: 

8long, sorry I don't know anything about progesterone and immune issues. :shrug:


----------



## pbl_ge

Just found this site. Not sure what this site is, nor how reliable the information is, but it's an interesting read:
https://www.dhinfo.org/2011/03/how-endometriosis-affect-egg-production-on-women/

SOURCES! I want to see SOURCES! :grr:


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## pbl_ge

I'm getting the sense that an endometriosis/egg quality link is contentious. 

https://blog.attainfertility.com/2012/03/dr-estil-strawn-endometriosis/#.Ug-P3JLVA80
https://www.centerforhumanreprod.com/endometriosis_infertility.html

Real research papers:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21542809
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19933522
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17214020
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17140505 (good one on IVF)
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16021855

I've requested this full article, although I'm not sure it's a reliable journal:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23598783

I don't think there's much of a point in my getting this one, as I won't understand it:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22298022

There's more, but I'm out of time. :flower:


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## Coolstar

Oh God I cannot read more, it is so depressing :( I am done glancing the first link. Even my doc told me that endo effects egg quality. About lap she told me that 6 months after lap if one does not get PG then lap wont help much in fact it will return with vengeance.
Ladies I have started with acupuncture treatment from yesterday.


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## pbl_ge

So for what it's worth, I asked my doc today about the endometriosis/egg quality link, and he said that to his knowledge there's no definitive evidence about that. Of course, that doesn't include those whose endo is actually in the ovaries. He also mentioned that it's extremely difficult to study. :shrug:

Just thought y'all would like to hear that opinion. He's pretty up-to-date on research, and I tend to trust his opinion. :thumbup:


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## Coolstar

Thanks for the info pbl . From your signature I can see that you will be starting IVF from next cycle right .


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## itsnowmyturn

Deleted


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## pbl_ge

Coolstar said:


> Thanks for the info pbl . From your signature I can see that you will be starting IVF from next cycle right .

Yes indeed! :happydance:


----------



## pbl_ge

itsnowmyturn said:


> Well I'm 7 weeks and 3 days away from starting TTC, I keep getting mixed feelings about it. Will I be ok?? Will I be able to conceive?? If I do will I carry to term?? It's driving me mad and I don't no whether to prepare for the worse or to be optimistic and try and take the stress off myself.

Good luck to you INMT! One thing though: I know you think TTC will be hard for you, but it may be very easy. You might want to post about your first few months in the regular ttc forums, not here in the ltttc forum. Most of the ladies have been trying for YEARS, and some think I'm not really LTTTC. There's actually a thread dedicated to "people who complain about not getting pregnant when they've only been trying a few months," if that gives you any indication. You can do as you'd like of course, but just wanted to make this point. :flower:

Hope your TTC journey is short and sweet! :dust:


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## itsnowmyturn

Sorry but I thought I cud get information from here I'm not TTC yet so didn't see the harm in looking for ppl with endo. I thought as I have endo before even TTC and experience loads of problems from it that I may get some support from others with endo


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## YearningHeart

pbl - I know a bit random but I really like your profile image. Its really nice!


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## pbl_ge

itsnowmyturn said:


> Sorry but I thought I cud get information from here I'm not TTC yet so didn't see the harm in looking for ppl with endo. I thought as I have endo before even TTC and experience loads of problems from it that I may get some support from others with endo

Of course! Didn't mean to kick you off the thread or anything. :flower: I just thought you should know that people in this forum are really sensitive about people complaining about TTC unless they've been at it for a long time. So you probably wouldn't want to say a lot about it here. 



YearningHeart said:


> pbl - I know a bit random but I really like your profile image. Its really nice!

Thanks. It's of OH and me on what was kind of our first date. :cloud9: Long story.


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## itsnowmyturn

I wasn't going to talk about TTC because I really wudnt want to upset ppl, I just wanted info. I feel that already knowing I have endo is very tough as a lot of ppl don't find out until after TTC for a while, it doesn't make it any easier to deal with but I like to know what I may or may not have to deal with when I do start TTC. I was told years ago I should start a family n since then iv been haunted by the fact that every day I wait I cud be waving goodbye to my fertility. I can't even begin to imagine how these ladies here feel, or any other ltttc ppl for that matter, but I feel that ppl understand my fears better on here than other places. I have ppl to talk to about general stuff but I was seriously lacking info on endo and TTC and needed a specific thread on it. I'm sorry if iv intruded on ur conversation ladies. I hope u all get what u so much deserve and all of ur waiting pays off xxx


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## Coolstar

pbl_ge said:


> Coolstar said:
> 
> 
> Thanks for the info pbl . From your signature I can see that you will be starting IVF from next cycle right .
> 
> Yes indeed! :happydance:Click to expand...

Wow !!! So you waiting for AF to start ? Looking at you ladies even I want to start my IVF as soon as possible :happydance: .
I have read egg transfer is like IUI but any idea how the egg retrieval process is ?


----------



## Coolstar

Heart : How is your IVF going on ?
INMT : You have not intruded anything. We are all here to support each other.


----------



## pbl_ge

Coolstar said:


> pbl_ge said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Coolstar said:
> 
> 
> Thanks for the info pbl . From your signature I can see that you will be starting IVF from next cycle right .
> 
> Yes indeed! :happydance:Click to expand...
> 
> Wow !!! So you waiting for AF to start ? Looking at you ladies even I want to start my IVF as soon as possible :happydance: .
> I have read egg transfer is like IUI but any idea how the egg retrieval process is ?Click to expand...

Unfortunately AF isn't coming along any time soon. :nope: I REALLY responded poorly to the meds, so it's going to take some time for my hormones to sort themselves out.

So the egg retrieval takes less than an hour, but they do put you out with anesthesia. They told me they use the usual dildo cam, but thread a catheter with a suctioning needle up there too. They poke through the walls of the vagina, I believe, to get to the ovaries. :saywhat: But it's a small needle, so not much different than a blood draw. Then they suction out the eggs while watching the u/s screen.

There are tons of youtube videos about this, but I'm not sure I need to know the details. :haha:


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## Goldfish

*Itsnow* - I really hope that you never get to be LTTC and that your stay in TTC is short when you get there! Ive met some BnB ladies with endo who've managed to conceive quite quickly, so hang in there!

*Coolstar* - DH says I was only away for 20 minutes or less for my egg collection! But I think that it was quick because I only had 2 eggs. All I remember is lying down, them asking me a few questions, needle going in the back of my hand...then suddenly next thing I know I'm waking up and DH tells me they've finished! Embryo transfer was pretty easy too, like a cervical smear (but better I thought)

*Pbl* - that's cool that you got a photo of your first date with DH!!


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## YearningHeart

Cool - I went for a scan today and I have only 2 follicles are 18mm! Some lazy follicles! and I have been stimming for 15 days today! Anyways I have to still continue stimming. I have another scan on Friday and then egg collection on Monday!  Waahaaayyy

pbl - Thats what I used to do and still do - Check on utube, there are some good utube videos which explain certain IVF process however some are rubbish. hopefully time passes fast for you and AF comes soon.


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## itsnowmyturn

Thanks ladies. I really hope u girls get ur baby soon, there are a few ladies with endo in the wtt section so hoping to have some ttc with endo buddies. Got a gynae apt in Sept so hoping he can give me all the info I need


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## pbl_ge

Yearning, I'm sorry--two follies isn't a very high count! Are they going to be able to get some more in the game?

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: 

Glad to hear there's a WTT/endo thread!


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## YearningHeart

pbl - Yeah I was gutted when they said 2 follicles :-( I seriously thought there would be more

I have a scan tomorrow and instead of looking forward to it, I am actually really nervous and scared. Im scared they are going to say the follicles have not grown enough :-(

I hope I come home with good news. xx


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## Goldfish

*Yearning* - :hugs: I know how you feel - I only had 2 follicles when I first did IVF too. There's a small chance they might see another one when they do the egg collection that they might not see on a scan. do you have low AMH/lowAFC/high FSH? Good luck for your scan!


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## YearningHeart

Gold - Thanks for the reply. Im just so scared I will get a BFN. I keep saying to myself not to get hopes up.

what is AMH/lowAFC/high FSH ?? and I dont know if I have low of it. Do you think I should ask my doctor this?
x


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## pbl_ge

You almost certainly had blood tests done on those hormones. Did they tell you anything about the results? 
AMH = Antimullerian hormone
FSH = Follicle stimulating hormone

AFC = Antral follicle count, done via ultrasound at the start of a cycle.

Any or all of those three things could explain why you're not responding better. If you had low AMH and/or AFC, they would expect fewer eggs. Same thing with high FSH. If all those things were in the normal range, then there might be another reason you're not responding very well. (e.g., the drugs aren't calibrated right for you)

It would be worth asking your doctor why you have so few eggs, and what s/he recommends you do for this cycle. You might, for example, convert it to an IUI cycle, depending on what the indications are.

It's a tough position. :hugs: :hugs:


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## Coolstar

Thanks for the embryo transfer info Ladies !! I will look into YouTube videos also.
Heart : From what I read most ladies with endo have less follicular count also (correct me if I am wrong), so what did the doc say about it ? Also is 18mm the good size or not (I have no clue) but I guess it is worth asking the doc all the question.


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## YearningHeart

Thank you so much all of you. I really appriciate your comments and yes tomorrow I will ask my doctor. Pbl thanks for explaing what the terms mean. I had like 3/4 blood tests and they just said its all fine but im still going to ask tomorrow of each ones detail. Its late night now and I just cant sleep. This is really bothering me. Sorry for going on about myself. I hope you all are well. Love. X


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## pbl_ge

YearningHeart said:


> Thank you so much all of you. I really appriciate your comments and yes tomorrow I will ask my doctor. Pbl thanks for explaing what the terms mean. I had like 3/4 blood tests and they just said its all fine but im still going to ask tomorrow of each ones detail. Its late night now and I just cant sleep. This is really bothering me. Sorry for going on about myself. I hope you all are well. Love. X

Sweetie, you're not going on about yourself! :hugs: You're in the midst of what is ALWAYS, even in the best circumstances, a difficult and emotionally draining process, and you've had a setback. :nope: Naturally you're upset and focused on all this.

I hope you can get good answers tomorrow. Let us know what you find out! 

:hugs: :hugs:


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## Coolstar

Heart : All of us are in the same position and we can totally relate with each other , so hun you are not going about yourself. Don't stress much since it just adds to the problem (I know it is easier said then done) have a good night sleep and from all of us lots of :hugs: 

Pbl : For once FXed that AF shows soon so that you can start with your IVF :flower:.

Gold : It's nice to hear from you after so long. So how is your IVF going on ?


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## skimomma

Joining! 

My endo was discovered during a laparoscopic hysterectomy to remove a fibroid back in 2009. DH & I have been ttcing since then. 45 dys after I gave up sugar, wheat/gluten, dairy, and meat I became pregnant but miscarried. Although I was sad I was shocked that I even became pregnant. The kind of food I eat really has an impact on my reproductive system.

I'm on the wagon again and following the endo diet with hopes that we'll have success.


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## pbl_ge

Welcome, Skimomma! Sorry for your loss. :hugs: As soon as I found out I'm doing IVF soon, I dropped alcohol and almost all caffeine, which means I'm pretty close to the endo diet, too. :flower: Only diffs are that I still eat some soy and I'm not avoiding wheat/gluten. (I simply don't believe everyone is sensitive to it.) I married a vegan, so I eat very little dairy, no meat, and almost no processed foods. 

I feel much better, except that I could really use a drink! :haha:


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## YearningHeart

pbl - Thanks, your words made me happy!

Cool - Thank you, your comment put a smile on my face.

I went for the scan today worried in the morning. Luckily the doctor did find quite a few follicles. Roughly 26 some of which are small, some 20mm/19mm. They said everything is looking fine so my egg collection is on Monday! 
Im so happy but I know its still a long way to go.
How are you guys though?
Love! xx


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## pbl_ge

That's great, Yearning! :thumbup:


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## Coolstar

Welcome Skimomma, sorry for your loss. Hope you get your BFP soon.
Heart : How did your egg collection go ?


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Hiiiii yeah I went for the egg collection yesterday and it went well 
The doctor collected 17 eggs. he just called me now and said 14 fertilised! :happydance:

The doctor said my embryo transfer will be either on Thursday or Saturday. Im really excited finally Im coming to the end. I just hope it goes well and I see a BFP and no MC, Im so worried about mc. 

Anyways hope you guys are well:hugs:. x


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## itsnowmyturn

Good luck, wishing u all the best and a bfp


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## pbl_ge

That's great news, Yearning! :happydance: Do you know wat day you'll transfer?

:dust:


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## Coolstar

YearningHeart said:


> Cool - Hiiiii yeah I went for the egg collection yesterday and it went well
> The doctor collected 17 eggs. he just called me now and said 14 fertilised! :happydance:
> 
> The doctor said my embryo transfer will be either on Thursday or Saturday. Im really excited finally Im coming to the end. I just hope it goes well and I see a BFP and no MC, Im so worried about mc.
> 
> Anyways hope you guys are well:hugs:. x

Wow !! that's an awesome news, really happy for you dear. Don't worry you will do fine :flower: . Just be relaxed !!


----------



## skimomma

YearningHeart said:


> Cool - Hiiiii yeah I went for the egg collection yesterday and it went well
> The doctor collected 17 eggs. he just called me now and said 14 fertilised! :happydance:
> 
> The doctor said my embryo transfer will be either on Thursday or Saturday. Im really excited finally Im coming to the end. I just hope it goes well and I see a BFP and no MC, Im so worried about mc.
> 
> Anyways hope you guys are well:hugs:. x

That's great news, YearningHeart!

I'm 8dpo and hanging in there. Nothing new to report except some dull cramps low in my abdomen. We're seriously considering ivf (it would be our second ivf) if we're not lucky the next few cycles. Fingers crossed!


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## YearningHeart

Thank you so much ladies for your lovely messages. My embryo transfer will be either on Thursday or Saturday. Im excited but still feeling very nervous, its still few more steps to go before a baby. I really pray I get a BFP and easy pregnancy and I hope the same for all you ladies! xxx

skimomma - Best of luck if you do decide to go ahead with IVF. X


----------



## Coolstar

Do keep us updated !!


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## Coolstar

Hi Ladies !! how is everyone doing ?

Pbl : I can see you have started with vitamins before your IVF cycle that's a good thing, did your doc recommend it ? Why is baby aspirin taken ?


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## pbl_ge

Coolstar said:


> Hi Ladies !! how is everyone doing ?
> 
> Pbl : I can see you have started with vitamins before your IVF cycle that's a good thing, did your doc recommend it ? Why is baby aspirin taken ?

I've been taking most of these for ages. Here's the rationale:
*Prenatals* - Obvious :haha: 
*Iron & D3* - Prior deficiencies that go away with supplementation
*Fish oil & CoQ10* - There's evidence that both of these can increase the chances of success with IVF. My very science-based RE recommended 600 mg of CoQ10 and was looking into the dosing of fish oil. The CoQ10 may be particular for those over 35--not sure. 
*Baby aspirin* - This helps thin the blood a bit, via reducing clotting. Theoretically it can help make the lining more amenable to implantation. My doc said the evidence that it helps with fertility is not strong, but there is good evidence that anyone over 35 should consider taking it for the heart benefits. 

Some of these may need to be stopped after a bfp. Something I keep forgetting to look into. :dohh: 

What's up with you, Cool? :flower:


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## Coolstar

Thanks for the info pbl :) . Well I am doing fine. Just waiting that these 3/4 months get over soon so that I can start with my IVF. So any idea when your AF is due ?


----------



## YearningHeart

Hi pbl/cool - How are you? 

Iv been so unwell to come on B&B. I had embryo transfer on Thursday and have been feeling very unwell. Bloaty tummy, nausea, chest/abdomen pain. Its been horrible for the past few days. I actually felt unwell after EC. I was this phase to pass fast. Other than that, I am over the moon to have the embryo transfer and I hope I see a BFP and have an easy pregnancy. I hope the same to you all too! xx


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## Coolstar

I guess all these are pregnancy symptoms, keeping FXed for you. When r u going to test ?


----------



## Coolstar

Hi Ladies, it has been a long time since anyone posted. How is everyone doing ? About me I am just losing my mind :( Yest I was normal and happy and today I feel so sad and depressed. My moods are so unpredictable nowadays. I know it is not normal but LTTC has seem to take it toll on me slowly. Sometime I just feel God doesn't want me to have kids and I just wonder what I have done so wrong in my life to suffer like this. I am sorry for my rant, I cant share my feelings with anyone else so thought about writing it down :(


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## peachaeo

coolstar- I know how you feel! I have been struggling with my faith so much lately. Try to stay strong, sometimes faith can be most helpful when you REALLY need a dose of hope. Also I would recommend starting a new book or trying a new hobby...something to take your mind off things! I feel my best when I'm doing something for me, not sitting in my room analyzing my symptoms on the internet haha. Good luck, I love these message boards. They have been such a great outlet. hugs!!


----------



## YearningHeart

Cool - :hugs: Awwwww try to stay as strong as possible, I know it sucks having to wait for so long and sometimes it just feels there is no hope but you have to think positive and keep going. How long have you been TTC?
I really hope you see a BFP soon and everything works out for you. Dont say sorry for telling us how you feel, there is nothing wrong in it. We all have our moment and thats what we are here for! To support one another, we are all on the same boat. 

AFM - I had the shock of my life. I had brown spotting in the afternoon followed by light pink spotting, after few hours I had very bad cramps, it was like killer period pain I had to take pain killers for it. The spotting turned into blood. I was bleeding!!! :nope:
It is very light red and its a little with the very bad cramps. When I saw it I felt like bursting into tears but held it in until I told DH then my tears just came. Im so worried now, I just spoke to the nurse (I called them because I was scared and in pain) and she said it is either implantation or AF is coming! My beta test is on Thursday. I hope its not AF. I feel so miserable now and it feels like its the end :cry::cry::cry:
Im trying to just think positive and simply wait for Thursday.


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## peachaeo

Yearning.... FX crossed for you!!


----------



## Coolstar

peachaeo said:


> coolstar- I know how you feel! I have been struggling with my faith so much lately. Try to stay strong, sometimes faith can be most helpful when you REALLY need a dose of hope. Also I would recommend starting a new book or trying a new hobby...something to take your mind off things! I feel my best when I'm doing something for me, not sitting in my room analyzing my symptoms on the internet haha. Good luck, I love these message boards. They have been such a great outlet. hugs!!

Thank you so much :hugs: , I have taken up new hobby to keep myself as much busy as I can but some days are for worse. Under normal situation with my rollercoaster mind I would have thought that I am crazy but I read somewhere that infertility grief is comparable to a major grief in life such as losing someone. You know I find it so hard that as much as I try to forget about my infertility, every cycle AF gives me a big slap in my face and reminds me of my pain.


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## Coolstar

Heart : I am sure it is implantation, pls stay positive and don't take tension as it is not good, specially for you. Wish I could hug you, but I am sending lots of wishes to you and I am sure Thursday would be a special day in your life.

I have been trying since Jan'2012 :(


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## pbl_ge

Yearning, I wrote to you on the IVF thread. :hugs: I don't think you're out yet! :dust:

I'm with you other ladies on feeling really pessimistic right now. Just the past few days I've started feeling really hopeless for the first time. Sucks. Lots of whining in my journal, so I won't repeat it here. Usually I find that feeling down passes after a few days, so I'm waiting for that. AF due at any minute, at which point I'll start the IVF process. Maybe that will make me feel better?

Hugs to everyone here. Hope we all get lucky soon. :hugs:


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## Goldfish

*Yearning* - FX this is implantation!! Please try to stay positive!
*Cool* - I have had those same thoughts as well and I think it's perfectly ok to share them here as we all know how difficult it is to share these things with people in real life who may not understand what we're going through
*Pbl* - I found that starting IVF made me feel better (nervous, yes, but better) because it felt like I was taking steps towards something good. not going to lie though, it wasn't easy but I did feel a lot more hopeful while I was having it. 

Hello to *peachaoe* and anyone else who've since joined the thread! AFM, after being on the pill or a few weeks I've just started my downreg injections for IVF #2!


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Thanks for the support! I really appreciate it and it does make me feel better :flower:
Awww I know having to wait for years for BFP sucks! but stay strong, it will be here soon. Its true its so important to have a hobby or keep your self busy otherwise the mind plays games. During this 2 WW of mine Iv moved out to a familys house where there are few people around and time will go fast as I will be busy, I would go crazy if I was staying at my apartment! 

pbl - Yep we are both in the other thread too. Good luck with the pills. Your going to start on pills right once AF comes? or it is the scan then injections? Anyhow what ever it is, I hope it goes smooth and well for you. Kepp us updated. 

Thanks to eveyone for the support! I think I over reacted yesterday. I was just so scared, this 2WW is a killer! Im feeling much better today. The cramps has gone down a lot but still there. I had blood clots since yesterday evening til this morning. I hope its nothing to worry about. ANyways I am trying to pass time today and first thing tomorrow I am at the blood clinic. Im excited yet nervous.

(I have repeated the above info like 3 times, I should of just copied and pasted it! lol)


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## Coolstar

Pbl : You have said it so correctly when you said feeling down passes after a few days. I cried so much yest, today much better. Hopefully I will be normal tomm. I am sure when once IVF process start we will all feel better, like Gold said taking a step toward something more positive.


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## pbl_ge

Coolstar said:


> Pbl : You have said it so correctly when you said feeling down passes after a few days. I cried so much yest, today much better. Hopefully I will be normal tomm. I am sure when once IVF process start we will all feel better, like Gold said taking a step toward something more positive.

:hugs:


----------



## YearningHeart

Hi ladies, I just got my results - a BFN :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

I guess I kind of expected it as my bleeding increased a lot this morning and I had blood clots. Im just so so gutted! :cry::cry::cry:

I wish you guys all the best!!! I hope you guys see a BFP and those who got a BFP, I hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months. Thank you soo much for your kind words and support it meant the world to me.

Love you all! xxx


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## Coolstar

YearningHeart said:


> Hi ladies, I just got my results - a BFN :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:
> 
> I guess I kind of expected it as my bleeding increased a lot this morning and I had blood clots. Im just so so gutted! :cry::cry::cry:
> 
> I wish you guys all the best!!! I hope you guys see a BFP and those who got a BFP, I hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months. Thank you soo much for your kind words and support it meant the world to me.
> 
> Love you all! xxx

Heart I am so sorry :hugs: , lots of hugs from us. I know it is very tough but pls stay strong. There are so many ladies who get BFP in their IVF#2 , I know how depressing infertility is. We are all with you, wish I could just hold you :hugs::hugs:

Also my doc had told me IVF success rate 1st cycle is just around 50% so odds are against us.


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## itsnowmyturn

Very sorry to hear that. I wish u all the very best for round number 2


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## Goldfish

*Yearning* - I'm so sorry, that sucks!! I know how you feel, so take the time to grieve/cry and hopefully you can try again next time


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## YearningHeart

Goldfish - Have you started you 2nd round of IVF? X


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## Goldfish

*Yearning* - yes I was on the pill for about 3 weeks and started downreg injections last week! eek!


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## YearningHeart

yaaaaay thats great! Not long left. Keep us updated - Im excited for you. Bets of luck. its exciting exciting


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## Coolstar

Heart : Would you be starting your IVF#2 soon or you would be taking a break ?

Gold : Yay for round 2 :)

Pbl : How many days more before injections start ?


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Well after the BFN I was so down that I thought I cant go through another IVF. I just found it hard and I think that is partially because of my busy life. Anyhow after my BFN I heard of a family member who got a BFP and that pushed me now start IVF. 

I got a call today from the embryologist who said that apparently the 3 embryos that were in the lab and of excellent quality ended up having bacteria growth due to which they had to discard it. Apparently the bacteria would be from the semen. Now DH has to go for check ups. So I am not sure where we stand right now. I do want to start IVF again, the doctor said it will be good few weeks before I can even start. x


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## Goldfish

*Yearning *- I'd suggest waiting at least 1 or 2 cycles before trying IVF again (unless your doctor advises otherwise; both doctors I saw advised waiting 3 months after my BFN!). I think it's to let your body recover because the IVF drugs are quite harsh on your body, plus the emotional aspects are pretty tough. Anyway good luck whatever you decide! 

AFM I had my downreg scan today and lining is thin, so started my stim injections tonight!


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## YearningHeart

Gold - Your absolutely right because today the doctor did tell me that I have to wait at least 2/3 months for medicine to wear off and body to get back normal etc. And then after that when the process starts Im looking at few more weeks. So it is nearly like 6 months thats what the doctor said. Its true it can be very emotionally draining. Im just going to have to wait for 2nd go of IVF. I highly doubt I would conceive naturally though I will take the most effort to. x


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## pbl_ge

Yearning, :saywhat: I thought sperm got washed so they wouldn't have bacteria?! That is SERIOUSLY donkey balls! :grr: So sorry. You didn't need bad news. And I can't believe it really takes six months before you can try again. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

How is everyone else doing? :flower:

Still lots and lots of waiting here. I'm on BCP through Oct 11, and Lupron won't start until Oct. 7. Boring, boring, boring. 

:hugs: to all.


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## YearningHeart

PBL - yep when I heard I was like :shock:because I really not expecting that. DH is going to go tomorrrow to give the some samples. I am waiting for my follow up appointment which I will recieve the letter in 6 weeks time then the appointment itself will obviously be few weeks after. Argh! So long. Anyhow I guess I dont have much of a choice other than to simply wait patiently! 

Dont worry about the BCP, it will pass just keep yourself busy. Do you work? I found when I was working and doing thing I didnt have much time to think about fertility, so sometimes it felt time was going fast. 

:hug::hug:


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## Coolstar

Heart : The embryo got bacteria growth....what a bummer :( . I am so sorry. I cant imagine what you might be going through. Lots of hug's. If I am not wrong you said 14 eggs were collected so I guess still more eggs are left. So the next round I think you don't have to go through egg retrieval phase again. Hope your DH results come back good because we all are dealing with enough bad news and we don't want any more add on's.


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## Coolstar

Pbl : Enjoy and relax till you are on BCP. Coz once the actual IVF process starts it will be a stressor.


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## Coolstar

Gold : FXed for you .


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## YearningHeart

Cool - On my egg collection day, they took 17 eggs. From the 17, 14 were fertilized. Some of which were excellent embryos however because of the bacteria they discarded it. They discarded ALL of it. SO no frozen eggs. So on my next IVF I have to go back to step 1 with the BCP then injections etc. Thats why it feels more annoying.

xx


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## Coolstar

Aaaawww sorry Heart. I did not know that they discarded all the embryo's . I can understand your frustration. Last time you responded well with meds so chances are you will respond well next cycle also. 

Heart I just read in another post that you are ttc from last 6 yrs, I just cant imagine you pain. I mean I was complaining about my ttc but I guess I have no right to complain in front of you. Just wanted to :hug::hug: you. You really inspire me to go on.


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Heyyyyy of course you can complain. Just because I have been TTC for more years than you doesnt mean you cant share your feelings. Dont worry about it!

Its painful for everyone TTC. Yeah its nearly 6 years for me. Its been so long that now I cant even imagine being pregnant, I cant imagine being a mummy,if you know what I mean. I think I will have a heart attack when I have a BFP (Ok not really!) It will be just too good to be true. I dont know when my turn will come. Anyhow I get so happy when I hear of a BFP from a person who is TTC. xxxxx


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## Coolstar

YearningHeart said:


> Cool - Heyyyyy of course you can complain. Just because I have been TTC for more years than you doesnt mean you cant share your feelings. Dont worry about it!
> 
> Its painful for everyone TTC. Yeah its nearly 6 years for me. Its been so long that now I cant even imagine being pregnant, I cant imagine being a mummy,if you know what I mean. I think I will have a heart attack when I have a BFP (Ok not really!) It will be just too good to be true. I dont know when my turn will come. Anyhow I get so happy when I hear of a BFP from a person who is TTC. xxxxx

Heart lots of :hugs::hugs: , I exactly know when you said you cant imagine being a mummy. When I started TTC I thought I will conceive very soon. I do imagine sometime how I would feel when I get a BFP (if I ever get), it would simply be unimaginable. Sometime I feel its not fair for some to get BFP in a single cycle and here we are trying so hard and some ladies who try more then a decade. Its so hard, I always used to say "Patience is not my virtue " :) but I guess God wants to teach me that I should have patience.
You just relax till you next IVF, and till then BD during your ov who knows we might get a BFP just trying naturally. People say _miracles do happen _ ,I am not sure but I just pray it happens in our life just for once.


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Awwwwww I know. I have always heard people saying Patience is a virtue. I know I with patience comes success. Having TTC for so many years I do have hope I will have a baby sometime and if I dont then I guess its not in my fate. Im just focusing on other things in life, Im back to work back to my usual life routine so I think that is helping me. I really do hope we all do get a BFP and if its naturally then that is a dream! xxxxx


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## Coolstar

It's good thing that you are back in your normal life . By the time you are in IVF#2 cycle I guess I would also be in my IVF#1. I also want to start with my IVF#1 as soon as I can.


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## Goldfish

I really hope we all get our BFPs, whether naturally or via assisted fertility!! I look at everyone else who has kids and think that most of them didn't have any issues conceiving, but I also know that there are many of us who are hiding our infertility pain and will be sooo grateful when we do finally have our babies! 

Cool - I sincerely hope that your first IVF is a success!


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## YearningHeart

Gold - :hugs:

I read your perfect message at the perfect time. I felt so rubbish for the past few days. Soon as I get to work after my embryo transfer rest I hear of pregnancy, 2 collages gave births! Cant you believe it! After my embryo transfer I got back to hearing baby talk. I tried to shut my ears from listening pretending I am getting on with work. It was horrible going back to lifes routine and hearing all BFP and births. A friend of mine who has been TTC for few years got her BFP, I was happy for her. 

I feel a happiness when LTTTC people see a BFP because I know they have been through pain and deserve this. Not to say people who arnt TTC dont deserve it - but you know what I mean.

Reading your message goldfish reminds me that I am not odd and there are people who are going through this horrible life of infertility and everyones here to support. It puts little peace in me. 

xxx


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## YearningHeart

Cool - I cant wait for you to start your IVF. I hope you get a BFP with success in the first round. Wishing you the best! xx


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## Coolstar

Gold : How is your IVF#2 going on ?
Pbl : How are you ?
Heart : Lol I too shut my ears and sometime my eyes too :) when I hear about someone getting pg or see pics in FB (in fact I hide most of the baby pics in FB account). But then I sometime wonder maybe some of them were trying to get pg for long time who knows. 
Even I feel happy when I see LTTC ladies getting BFP in bnb and real life. I mean I can relate to the pain and tears they endure.


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## Goldfish

*Yearning* - :hugs: that's what this forum is for, so we can bond with others who know what we're going through! I'm also finding it hard hearing about people's pregnancies, but try to take hope that it could be you too (soon, hopefully). Today I found out an old friend had her third baby, I felt very jealous actually! But recently also found out another friend is expecting #2 naturally after she had previous miscarriages and IVF, I was genuinely happy for her. 

*Cool* - after 6 days of stims I had 6 follicles at my scan; it's not a lot but it's ok since I have very low AMH, and it's a lot better than what I had at IVF#1! So I'm feeling hopeful at the moment!


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## Coolstar

Just need 1 egg to fertilize, implant and have a baby so FXed for you Gold !!


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## pbl_ge

Hi Ladies! :hi:

Nothin' much going on with me. The birth control pill phase is very boring. :coffee: 

Cool and Yearning, I'm exactly where you are. I have hidden more than half of my facebook friends because they post too much about their babies or their bumps (or their spouse's bumps). No idea what's going on with them. :shrug: Don't wanna know, either. The women who get pregnant easily and never miscarry fill me with rage. And that rage has no outlet, so no one wants that. :haha:

But, like you, I'm always happy for LTTTC ladies. :cloud9: These women have EARNED it! Those other biatches, not so much. :haha: 

Yearning, how are you doing? Do you know when you'll start up again? :hugs:

Cool, how about you? :flower:

Gold, I know your good news! :coolio: :happydance:

:hugs: to all....


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## Coolstar

Pbl : I can relate how boring it would be during BCP phase. But I guess just few more days. Excited for you. Lupron shots are for what ?


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## 8longyears

This is an older post, but figured i would update since my last post in july. I have not yet conceived and i have had multiple test ran for blood clotting issues, and many more but everything came back normal.. i was sort of hoping for somthing to come back a little off, that way i would at least have answers and possibly a cure or way to fix all of this ;( we do not have the money for IVF so i dont for-see that happening anytime soon. i have started back on the bee propolis and keeping my fingers crossed... good luck to anyone reading!!


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## Coolstar

8longyears, lots of hugs to you. Yes I have also read that bee propolis is good . In fact even I was taking bee propolis. I have not conceived yet :( we are moving ahead with ivf.


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## YearningHeart

8 long years - I really hope something comes up for you, Its so sad to hear of ladies TTC for so long :(

Cool - Hey how are you?? Hows things with you? I was away from B&B for few months due to fail IVF but I have just started 2nd round of IVF however thats after 2 months of pills

Pbl - You still here? How are you?


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## Coolstar

Heart, nice to see your post. I am happy that you are going ahead with Ivf#2 . Wish you all the best. I am in my suppression phase. So I guess around 12 more days and I will start the simulation phase. I am nervous, anxious and scared. I just pray that everything works out. It's really sad that we have to try so hard and so long :( . Why did the doctor gave you 2 months of suppression ? Usually it's around 1 month.
I guess pebble is on a break. Hope she is doing good.


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Thats great!! Not long for you then eh! I know the nervousness just comes in but try not to stress yourself, trust me the simulation phase goes pretty fast. Im excited for you. I hope we get some good news from ya.

I have to take Metformin tablets for a month then Microgynon tablets for another month so 2 months!!! :(
In my 1st IVF I took only 1 month of pills which was the microgynon ones. Im hoping it goes fast at the same time when I look at the stages I have to go through I think Sooooo long.

Yeah your right, we do have to try so hard and do much, how easy natural easy eh! I wish all this can pass very fast. x


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## Goldfish

*8kongyears* so sorry to hear this, best of luck to you!!!
*Yearning* and *cool* great to hear from you girls! I'm sorry you guys are both having to do IVF (or IVF again). My LTTC journey has not been going well at all. we are going to do IVF again very soon - just waiting for my bleed to show up and then 1 round of microgynon before doing a pill scan and starting the I injections again. BTW, pbl has been on a break for a while - unfortunately she had a miscarriage after an IVF BFP :(


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## Coolstar

Heart, don't worry time will fly :flower: . I had just started my suppression and already i am half way done. Last week i was spotting and i was so scared that my cycle would be cancelled. Called up my doc and she told me nothing to worry if it is just spotting. Luckily the spotting stopped. I have anxiety attack specially at night. Also i get night sweats.... i don't know whether its the meds or the tension :wacko: . 

Gold :hugs:, i am happy that you are moving ahead with ivf. I just pray that it works out this cycle for you. Infertility is so tough and i am fearing how i will cope if the ivf fails. But i want the ivf to get over soon whatever the results maybe so that i can move ahead with my life. So sorry to hear about pbl :( . I guess your stimulation phase will start from next month. Wish you all the best.


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## Goldfish

*Cool* AF arrived today (withdrawal bleed from stopping the pill after my cancelled ivf), so will ring the clinic tomorrow to confirm next cycle. if all goes as expected then prob start downreg in about 3 weeks or so. Glad your spotting stopped, not long before your stims start then. What protocol/stim dose are you on?


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## Coolstar

Gold, I am happy that your AF arrived. Can't you start the downreg as soon as AF stops or do you need to take 3 weeks break? Mine is a long protocol. Instead of taking birth control pill I was given an injection (i guess depo shot, don't remember it well)on 14th Feb. Maybe because I have endo I don't know. Next week I have to do some blood test and then start with the 2nd phase of ivf ie simulation phase . About spotting that happened to me I read that it's called break through bleeding and you can experience it when you are in your bcp phase.


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## Goldfish

*Cool* I'm on long protocol as well. My dr thinks it's better to 'quieten' the endo down first by using the pill then downreg first before stims. So I'll go on the pill for another 2-3 weeks starting tomorrow (which will be CD3), then have pill scan to check that my lining is thin etc. I'm also having an endometrial scratch before starting downreg/stims (I asked for it because I've had 2 failed implantations and it's supposed to increase chances of embryo implanting). 

So next week starts your exciting phase - stims are more exciting because it feels like you're doing something active, ie growing follicles!


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## Coolstar

Gold, i don't know about endometrial scratch but if it's suppose to help with implantation then go girl go !! My doctor told me that my ivf success is around 30% because of my endo :( and i am willing to do anything to increase the chances. I am excited and nervous both at the same time for next week. Nervous thinking i might not grow any follicles :( Just praying for all of us !!


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## YearningHeart

Gold - Heyyyy how are you? Your going to take microgynon for a month right? So when do you start this? I think me and you will be at similar time with IVF. I am assuming I start my microgynon pills after 3 weeks for a month. 
I totally agree with you, the stims does feel more like something is happening and more real that this it is IVF. xx

Cool - Awwww dont stress, sometimes its tension that causes the panic attack and sweats. Your so right, the struggle of IVF is so hard that you just think I want this phase to pass quick so I can move on with my life. Thats how I felt during my first IVF. I used to think oh weather it works out or not I just want it to pass. Its so hard mentally. We are all here for you so dont worry, stay strong. :hugs:

No update for me - Its been a week since I have been taking Metformin pills and time has passed pretty quick, mind you I did forget to take the pills like 3 days


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## YearningHeart

Can I ask you ladies for advice?

During your IVF did you discuss your IVF stories and updates to anyone like family or friends? As in, in person not on the forum?

During my first IVF I didnt speak to anyone other than my husband and sometimes it did feel lonely but it wasnt too bad but I dont know why for this round of IVF I want to share my journey with someone.


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## Coolstar

Heart, I was thinking about you. Thank you so much........I don't know what I would have done without you ladies. Small words of encouragement means a lot at this stage. I know what you mean when you say lonely. I wanted to share my ivf journey with my close friend but my dh is totally against it. So I have not shared it with anyone except my dh(obviously he knows :) ) , my mom and dad. I talk with my mom, it's your personal choice and I do believe if you can talk with someone besides your dh it makes you feel good.But then be sure that person has empathy for your problem coz not everyone can relate with infertility. And pls don't forget your meds, buy a pill box if you need.


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## Goldfish

*Cool* aw, I know it's hard to stay positive but try to think of it as having a 30% chance that this will work the first time. 
*Yearning* I took microgynon for 3 weeks after my last ivf round, then stopped it for a few days, got my withdrawal bleed and now I'll go on it for another 2 weeks (my clinic says minimum 12 days, maximum 42 days). As for telling people, I told 2 friends plus my boss when I did ivf#1 and ivf#2, then only my boss after that because of needing time off. I would love to tell more people but the pressure is too much - our parents already sort of know we are having TTC issues but we don't really talk about it. Ironically one of my best friends had ivf but I can't tell her because she can't keep her mouth shut and thinks ivf is really straightforward - hers worked first time, she responded really well and got lots of eggs, plus some frosties, and she doesn't seem to understand that not everyone can make lots of eggs. 

doing ivf is a really lonely time, I have avoided people and this forum has been great as people can really relate. If you do tell someone, make sure it's not someone who will say stupid things like 'just relax and it'll happen'!


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## Coolstar

Thanks *Gold*, just to make myself happy I am thinking that 30% success rate is at least better then 5% to 10% success rate I am having in a natural cycle.
*Heart*, I totally agree with Gold that make sure that the person whom you share with does not say stupid things like " it will happen when it's suppose to happen" :(
My best friend told me that they have started ttc from last cycle. I always used to think that when she will start ttc she will get pg before me maybe just trying for 3 to 4 months and I would still be trying. I thought I will feel *J* but I was surprised I was happy for her. I have accepted the fact that I may never have a baby although I do feel bad for myself . But at least I am beyond my initial jealousy stage.


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## Goldfish

*Cool* I often find myself feeling both happiness and jealousy when people are pregnant. It's not too bad when it's their first but I struggle a bit when it's their second/third/fourth! I hope you can be pregnant at the same time as your friend so you can share the experience together.


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## Coolstar

*Gold *i understand when you say *second/third/fourth*. Yes sometime life is not fair :(
I called up my clinic and i have an appointment on Friday. Before that i need to do serum and estradiol blood test. So now just few more days ..... Wanted to ask you ladies how is ER ? Is it painful ???


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Awwww you ladies helped and support me too! so much! Your right not everyone understands struggle of infertility and some may not have empathy. With me hearing BFP news, sometimes I do feel I am over the phase of emotions and coming home crying and miserable whole day. I do feel I have become much stronger than before but then again I do have my moments. I hope you do have a baby and all the tears and heartache have a happy ending :)

Gold - your comment 'just relax and it'll happen' made me laugh because its so true. Why do people always say that? I get so mad inside when family or friends say that, I know they are just being nice and probably have nothing to really say. 

- I dont really have a close friend who will understand my IVF journey, some of my friends are not even married so babies are no big deal to them and others I just dont trust. I do find it so helpful on this forum, everyone is here to help and and everyone understands. xx


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## YearningHeart

Cool - What is ER?


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## Goldfish

*Yearning* ER = egg retrieval (also sometimes referred to as EC)
*Cool* i found egg retrieval fine. The worst bit was the cannula going in for the anaesthetic and that only lasted seconds. I actually like that feeling just before you fall asleep! then you wake up and don't remember a thing! afterwards you bleed a little bit and it's a little sore, but not too bad.


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## YearningHeart

Cool - When I had EC it was alright to be honest, it was a little pinch when the cannula was put in and then I fell asleep within seconds literally. Everything was done when I woke up so at least I didnt have to go though the stress. When I woke up I did feel very nausea, it was a horrible feeling, I think that could of been because they gave me medication on empty stomach. My nausea increased and it felt my stomach was turning so I quickly eat some food and had 3 or 4 lemon slices which really worked.
This time I think I will take food and a lemon slice just in case, that happened to me but not everyone is the same.

Gold - Did you have a sick feeling after waking from the EC?


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## Coolstar

I am happy that i will be unconscious during retrial. Thanks *Heart* for the tips, even i will carry some food and lemon slice in case i feel nauseated too.
Thanks *Heart* and *Gold*, i am glad that i am able to share my stressful IVF journey with you both. Most of my bnb friends are pregnant, and i see once ladies conceive they don't log into bnb much :( Tomorrow i am going for blood test ( estradiol and serum ).


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Yeah after people get pregnant they do move on, dont worry it wont be too long before we get busy with babies and have no time for B&B forum. 
I forgot to mention the hospital did give me bread but that didnt seem enough so I had to go for a meal which then made me feel much better. Im glad they do put ladies to sleep during egg collection - Can you imagine how stressful it would be as well as painful. 

Good luck with your blood test, let us know how it goes. xx


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## Goldfish

*Yearning* no, luckily I didn't feel sick when I woke up from egg collection. Before I had the general anaesthetic I told them that I got bad nausea/vomiting when I woke up from my laparoscopy (which I had for my endo before we even started TTC), so I wonder if they gave me some anti-nausea stuff as well? Yep, very glad I was asleep as I'd hate to feel anything during the procedure! 

*Cool* Good luck tomorrow!


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## YearningHeart

Gold - Oh ok thats good, I should tell the nurses this time and maybe they may give nausea pills. I do not want to go through that nausea feeling again, its horrible. x


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## Coolstar

Did my blood test, now waiting for Friday. My DH is out of the country and he called me up sometime back and we were discussing what will be our next step if this ivf cycle fails :( We are paying everything out of pocket and i don't think i can go for another ivf round this year. At most if i have enough embryos i can go for one FET cycle, that's it.


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## Coolstar

Ladies my simulation got postponed till Tuesday since I am suffering from flu and on antibiotics now. Also my amh came back low my doc told me to think about donor :(


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## Goldfish

*Cool* :hugs: I can't believe they only tested your AMH now?! I know how you feel, I only found out my low AMH just before my first IVF, it was so low that the piece of paper with my results said "negligible fertility potential". My only advice is to go ahead with the IVF using your own eggs anyway - just because your AMH is low doesnt mean you can't have a baby. Yes, your chances are lower than someone who has a normal/high AMH, but you won't really know how your body responds until you try it and you might respond better than expected to the meds. I have read about plenty of women on various forums who've had few eggs and still got a BFP.


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## Coolstar

Goldfish said:


> *Cool* :hugs: I can't believe they only tested your AMH now?! I know how you feel, I only found out my low AMH just before my first IVF, it was so low that the piece of paper with my results said "negligible fertility potential". My only advice is to go ahead with the IVF using your own eggs anyway - just because your AMH is low doesnt mean you can't have a baby. Yes, your chances are lower than someone who has a normal/high AMH, but you won't really know how your body responds until you try it and you might respond better than expected to the meds. I have read about plenty of women on various forums who've had few eggs and still got a BFP.

Thanks Gold, I have decided to go ahead with my ivf. Until I try I will never know what holds for me. My doctor told me to think about donor :cry: , I came home and cried and cried my heart out. I hate what endo has done to us :growlmad: . I would be starting my stims from Tuesday, my best bet would be that whatever egg I produce is of good quality and that one sticks. I have left everything to God now. It will be what he wish I can only try.


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Awwww :hugs: Im so sorry to hear about the amh! but I am glad you have decided to go ahead with the IVF. It is always worth the try, I really hope this is the lucky one for you. I know its a killer when things just doesnt seem to be moving but stay strong and who knows this may be the last cry of pain. (I give sympathy to myself by saying things like that)
xxxxx


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## YearningHeart

Gold - Hows things with you? Hope you doing well. 

I am still on my Metformin pills, at the end of this week I will start BCP for a week for my periods to come and then move on to Microgynon pills. Cant wait for this pill phase to be over.


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## Goldfish

*Cool* that's the spirit! Let's keep telling ourselves that it only takes one egg! I had one doctor tell me that I could consider donor egg as well, so then I switched to another clinic that is more used to dealing with older women/those with low egg reserve. 

*Yearning* I hear ya, I'm sick of the pills too. I've got a few more days of microgynon then I have a pill scan to check that my lining is thin and no obvious issues before I start the injections!

Just had dinner with friends we hadn't seen for a while - they casually mentioned that they were 3 months pregnant. I felt soo jealous, it was really hard pretending to be happy all through dinner.


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## Coolstar

Gold, it is such a bummer at this stage to hear other ladies fall pregnant :( 
Heart , this phase will be over soon. I know its so boring but try to relax coz stims are really stressor.
I have started with my first day of Gonal-F stims. I have an appointment on Friday ie 3 days after stims. Any idea what will happen on my Friday appointment ? Can they see my follicles so soon or will they just do a blood test and decide my next dose ?


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## YearningHeart

Gold - :hugs: I know it is painful and hard to bear the news of pregnancy. I am always hearing it weather it be friends, family or colleagues. You would think I should be used to it by now, but its still painful. Look on the bright side you are doing IVF now and it might not be long before you announce your pregnancy :thumbup: stay strong. x


Cool - I cant believe I am nearly coming to a month of having Metformin pills (Ok I know its still 11 days to go haha) Yeah your right, I am relaxing the only thing is I am working hard on loosing some weight before the injection phase. I have PCOS and its so hard to lose weight. 
First day of Gonal-F? :happydance: Thats great! 

Your Friday appointment will most likely be a scan. That is how it was during my time, after every 2/3 days I had to go in for a scan. My first scan they could not really much so I had to continue the injections, my follicles were growing slow and the dosage went up after good few days. They said its better the follicles grow slowly then to rush it too much. That is how it was with me, but not necessarily for all.


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## Coolstar

Thanks Heart , if it is a scan then I don't have much hope of passing with flying colours. But I hope they will increase the dose after that. With so low amh I don't think 150 gonal f is enough ( I can become half ivf doctor now :) ) . 
I know it's hard to lose weight when you have PCOS. I did put on some weight last year, if the ivf does not work I am planning to join gym and reduce weight. I have seen ladies with PCOS have lots of eggs during ivf. I guess that's the plus side. Keeping the fingers crossed for you.


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## YearningHeart

Yeah the amount of research I have done I feel I could be an IVF doctor too! :laugh2:
Sometimes I am so motivated to lose weight and at times it just seems to hard that I give up for little while and then regret it. I have roughly 6 weeks before the injection phase so I want to lose as much as I can. 

They might put up the dosage for you, a lot of ladies they do that, I dont know why my time they took time but yeah its a quick scan really. Let us know how it goes though. x


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## Goldfish

*Cool* I'm not sure what to expect after 3 days of stims, I've only ever had my first stim scan after around 6-7 days of stims. By that time they expect to see a few follicles over 10 mm and they usually do a blood test to measure oestradiol. My clinic then does scans/blood tests every 2-3 days after that to check progress. I'm surprised you're on 150 Gonal-F too, I would've thought they'd start on a higher dose since you have low AMH but maybe they want to see you respond first and then increase the dose? Hopefully some positive news for you on Friday!

*Yearning* Yeah it certainly gets harder to hear other people's pregnancy news the longer you TTC, especially when it's their second or more. Have you ever tried myfitnesspal or similar app to help monitor your weight? I used it last year when I was trying to put on weight and found it helpful to keep track of things.


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## YearningHeart

Gold - Wow you were trying to put on weight?! Id love to be you haha, Yeah I have MyFitnessPal, it does help. Low carb and lots of protein really works for me, its just to stay discipline is hard anyhow the struggle will be worth it. xx

Cool - How are your? Any news of how your appointment went? You probably have not went yet. Let us know. xx


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## Coolstar

So ladies, I had a scan i.e after 3 days of stims and she said she can see just one follicles. Anyway I am happy since I thought there will be none. She has changed the meds and after 6 days of stims(Monday) I have to meet her again. I have slight bloated feeling, did you ladies feel that way too, I am drinking plenty of water. Just 4 days of stims and I am waiting when it will be over :( .How are you ladies doing?


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## YearningHeart

Cool - WhooHoo 1 follicle. Thats good. I had bloaty tummy during the stims, it was so bad that I looked pregnant. haha I did go hospitial for it because I could not eat properly and I was scared because it was so big. They said it was fine and normal. 

Apparently lot of ladies get bloaty stomach, its due to the medication however it you feel uneasy or it gets worse do speak to the doctor because not everyone's body or situation is the same. 

No update for me, Im still taking them metformin pills, tomorrow I start BCP :happydance: for 7 days and thereafter I should start my periods in which I will have 1 month of microgynon pills. I am working hard on losing some body weight to get fit before the stims stage.


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## Goldfish

*Yearning* yeah, I know it's unusual but i was really trying to put on weight as I'm thin! I'm going to be upping my protein intake when I do stims as I need to try and make more eggs!! Woo Hoo for starting the pill!

*Cool* yes i think lots of people feel bloated during stims. keep drinking that water! Also try eating more protein, milk, and hot water bottle on your tummy to keep it warm (during stims). hope you get more follies at your next scan!

AFM, I had and endo scratch last Thursday then a pill scan. despite having 3 endometriomas my lining is thin so they said I could start downreg (Suprecur) injections. A few headaches but otherwise ok. eek I can't believe I'm doing this again!


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## YearningHeart

Goldfish - Thats great!! :) Im happy for you. So how long will you be on the injection phase? It is definitely exciting. Wishing you the best. x


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## Coolstar

*Gold* how many injection do you need to take for downreg ? I am praying for you ......I can understand now how tough IVF is :( emotionally, financially and physically
*Heart* did you start your bcp ?
About me, i had a scan after 6 days of stims and i have 6 follicles. One 12mm, another 11mm and four follicles of 8mm. She told me that 8mm are small. I am just praying it grows so that i have some follicles while ER ?


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## Goldfish

*Yearning, cool* Thanks, I'm doing 7 days of downreg, then I reduce my dose of that while also starting stimulation injections. Not sure how long stims are for yet as I tend to respond slowly - based on the first two ivf cycles I stimmed for 13 days then 15 days! 

*Cool* That's great, hope your 4 little follies continue to grow and catch up to the others!


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## YearningHeart

Cool - hey dont stress too much, stay positive. Hopefully these follicles do grow. Im praying the best for you. 

Gold - Thats alright, not too bad. The stims days will pass fast before you know it. I was on stims for like 14/15 days too. Just out of interest are you paying for your IVF?

I started the BCP yesterday. I am supposed to have 3 a day but today I missed one because I forgot to take it with me outside.


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## Coolstar

Thanks *Gold* , hopefully my small follicles grow. Otherwise 2 follicles for ER is very less. I am just praying hard. My butt is sore from taking all the injection. My doc told me ER will be Friday or Saturday. Hopefully it is sat so that the small follicles get some time to grow. I am on high dose of stims. Were you also on high dose during your previous IVF ? 
*Heart* don't miss your meds.


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## Goldfish

*Yearning* oh no, what did the dr say about missing one of your pills, did you just take it when you remembered? Yes we're paying for our IVF now. Luckily my first one was paid for by the NHS (public health system) though.

*Cool* yes, I've always been on a high dose of stims due to my low AMH/low AFC. Started on Gonal-f 300/day at my first one and then Fostimon 450/day ever since! Have you tried injecting into your tummy? (I've never done them into my bum!)


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## Coolstar

Hi ladies, my ER will be on Saturday. Now they can see 7 follicles. The 2 big follicles are around 16mm but the small 5 follicles are 10 & 11mm :( . I think during retrieval they will only find 2 follicles. I am really sad, feel like all the pain I have gone through was for nothing. Such a hopeless situation.


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## Goldfish

*Cool* aw :hugs: I know it's hard, but don't lose hope!!! I do know how you feel though because my first ivf only had 2 follicles too. Mine didn't work but there are certainly stories out there that did work, so hang in there and good luck on Sat!


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Awww Im sorry to hear that but hey you never know keep hope, I know easy said than done, please try not to stress over it, like Gold said there are stories that it did work. I am wishing this is the lucky one for you. xx

Gold - I have been quite good with the pills now. When I do forget then I have it when I remember. If you dont mind, can I ask how much do you have to pay? This round of my IVF is free luckily and I hoping I dont have to go through it again and pay. xx

No much update for me, tomorrow is my last day of BCP and then according to my calculation I should start my periods after 3 days.


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## Goldfish

*Cool* how did it go yesterday?
*Yearning* my clinic charges GBP3630 for IVF (that includes scans, egg collection + meal + bed during the day at the hospital, embryo transfer, and follow-up appt), but this clinic is quite well known and have lots of experience with older women/those with poor ovarian reserve. I have to pay extra for blood tests and drugs. Oestradiol blood tests that are done after stim scans are GBP50 each time (most people have 3 or 4 per cycle depending on how long you stim for). Drugs are the biggest variable - I got quotes from several different suppliers as well as from my clinic's pharmacy but I'm on a very high dose of stims so it's rather expensive. I spent just over GBP1000 on drugs on my second cycle. So I spent around GBP5000 total. This doesn't include all the initial appts and blood tests I had to do before starting the actual cycle though. Luckily I got 1 free cycle on the NHS the first time!


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## Coolstar

My EC went horrible :( Three eggs were retrieved (i was only expecting two, keeping my fingers xed that it fertilizes) . After retrieval i was so sick the whole day. I was nauseated and threw up every time i ate or drank. I don't know how i reached home, thought i will be hospitalized. Luckily by Sunday morning i was fine although having little cramps. It was terrible for me.


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## Goldfish

*Cool* 3 eggs from 2 follicles is great! The first time I had general anaesthetic (when I had my lap) I felt really sick too, was so nauseous and threw up several times, and they gave me anti-nausea drugs. Hope you're feeling better now.


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## May112

How come your IVF is free?!?


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## May112

The dr also thinks I have endometriosis. I'm really worried and concerned bc I've already had one ovary removed due to ovarian cysts. I don't know what to do. He even said that IVF may not be effective for me. I totally get how you feel as if you're letting down your hubbie. We're both ready and I feel horrible that I can't seem to conceive. :(


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## Coolstar

I had my transfer today. Out of the 3 only 2 made it :( . While sitting in the clinic before transfer I thought they would tell me none made it to the 3rd day, such a stressful situation. Before the transfer I had a talk with my doctor and she told me that 2 made it and they both were A grade. So they transferred the 2 embryos, I am now praying that at least one sticks. My tww starts now. 
May, I am really sorry :( I hate endo. But don't lose hope, my ovary which has endo also produced one follicle out of two . And after all we need just one to stick.


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## YearningHeart

Gold - wow I did not know it costs that much but then again for a baby it is always worth it :) Hows things with you, any updates? Hope you keeping well. x

Cool - :happydance: That is great news! You will start your 2ww, hey I want you to stay positive, no stress alright? The last thing you want to do is worry or stress, it is not good for the body. We are all hoping this is the lucky one for you. Sorry to hear about the EC experience. I remember I felt very nauseated but did not vomit, I wonder why people feel like that maybe its the medication they give. Good thing its all over now. x


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## YearningHeart

May112 - :hugs: Sorry to hear that. Its is hard and very emotional to wait for a baby and doesn't seem to come. I hope something comes up for you. Did the dr say what treatment they are going to put you in or is it your choice?
Some people in the UK get 1 or 3 free IVF treatments.


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## YearningHeart

Sorry I am sending few posts, I forgot to update a little.

I finished the BCP 4 days ago and started my periods yesterday morning so I called the clinic who said I have to take the microgynon pills from 4th April until my scan day which is on 25th April. Eeek Im so excited. I cant believe how fast the pill stage has gone. Im very excited but really scared at the same time. I dont think I can handle another BFN. Anyways lets all stay positive. xxx


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## Coolstar

Thanks heart, I was missing you. Glad you are back. I am trying not to stress but you know tww is really tough. I am thankful to God that 2 embryos made it out of 3 eggs. At one point I thought the cycle would be cancelled , I was praying so hard. Heart, glad your bcp is over. What is microgynon for ? When will you start your stims. Excited for you hun :)


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## YearningHeart

Awwww thanks cool. Yeah I just got busy in the weekend and did not get the chance to come on B&B. Yeah I knooow the 2ww can be stressful, I think it is more of worry but just talk to yourself and remind yourself that stress can effect the body and it is not going to do any good. I remember during my 2ww I was thinking about it 24/7 I even had dreams! So to take my mind off I kept busy. Maybe you could meet friends, a hobby you have? read a book, anything that you enjoy because when you keep busy you wont have much time to stress. 
Yeah 2 embryos, that is excellent. It only takes one lucky one. 

I start my stims after the 1st scan, so that is from 25th April about 3 weeks left. Microgynon is some type of hormonal contraception pill. I just cant wait for it to be finished and move on to the next stage.


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## May112

Hi Yearning

I have a sonohystogram next week to make sure my tubes aren't blocked. Then he says I'm either going to have a laparoscopy or full blown chop you open again, surgery. I'd obviously prefer the lap. But who knows


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## Goldfish

*May112* UK residents who pay tax get access to the National Health Service (NHS), and if you have been TTC for a long time or if you have a condition that may cause fertility issues, have not had children before and aged under 40 (I think, or it could be under 42?) - then you may be able to get free IVF. Depending on the area you live in and its funding, you can get 1, 2 or 3 free. I got 1 for free and paid for the others myself.

*Cool* well done, you're PUPO!!! Chin up, your embryos sound like theyre excellent quality! 

*Yearning* yeah it's so expensive, but I think you could prob get it a bit cheaper at other clinics. Plus I'm on one of the highest doses of stim meds so that really adds up; if I had normal AMH or was a good responder I'd be on half the stim dose that I'm currently on now! Yay for starting the pill soon, won't be long before you're on your way to injecting again!

AFM, I had my stim scan today and there were 4 follicles. Just so glad there were some (at least more than 1 anyway!) as I was scared I wouldn't respond again and would have to cancel. Lining looking good as well. I have another scan on Friday and hopefully egg collection early next week!


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## Coolstar

*Gold* :happydance: for 4 follicles.Did you ask the size ? For Ladies like us with low amh 4 follicles is superb and plus others will join soon. And we only need one good quality embryo to stick. So how many days of stims you have already done ? Really excited for you . Hope all of us get our BFP's :baby: soon .
*Heart* I know suppression phase is boring, but before you know you would be starting your stimulation. Till then take care of yourself and eat healthy food.
*May* i am praying that lap will work for you . I know its such a tough situation, just hang on there. Did you check your amh ?


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## Goldfish

*Cool* I had done 6 days of stim when I had my first scan. Follicles were 15, 14, 12, 11 mm. By the time I have my next scan tomorrow I will have done 8 stims. I usually respond very slowly so this is a bit of a surprise to be considering egg collection early next week! How are you doing in the TWW? When is your OTD?


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## YearningHeart

May112 - I hope you have the lap and everything goes well. I know it can be stressful but stay strong, hopefully all of this is over soon and special surprises wait for you. x

Gold - :happydance: That is great! By the times you know it will be egg collection time. Good to hear about the follicles. Im really happy for you and don't worry about responding slow, I was like that. I was on stims for roughly 3 weeks because the follicles were taking time growing.

As for the medication, yeah I guess that does make sense, the more medication the more cost. I have 3 free rounds of IVF by NHS. 1 failed so 2 more tries, I really hope this one works. I really feel for those who have to pay and I wish all those that pay get a BFP. x

Cool - Thanks, Yeah thats why I want to do, focus on keeping healthy and eating good food, get the body ready. Hows the 2ww going? Do you work? Did you take time off from work? x


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## Coolstar

*Gold* considering its just 6th day of stims you are responding superb. So happy for you. And the best thing is 4 of them are growing well. My otd is on 15th. The TWW is hell.
*Heart* at present i have taken off and trying to relax as much as i can. The only thing that i keep on thinking is that if this cycle does not work how are we going to finance our next ivf :( and with such low amh i cant wait for a long time either (my insurance is not paying). I am just praying it works, i need a miracle now. The financial and emotional toll from ivf#1 is too much.


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## May112

Thank you both sooo much for the prayers and well wishes. 
What is AMH?! I clearly still don't know all the lingo. :s


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## YearningHeart

Cool - I agree IVF is very hard in every way, emotionally, physically etc. I heart goes out to those that have to pay so much but try not to think about it too much now. I really hope you get a BFP, everything will be worth it then. Its good you took little time off to relax. x


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## Coolstar

Thanks Heart.
Gold, how is your stims going on ?
May, AMH is a blood test. It tells you about your ovarian reserve ie how many eggs are left. I found out my amh is low just before IVF :( . I think it was because of the endo.


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## Goldfish

*Cool* I did my last stim injections a few hours ago and just about to do my trigger shortly!!! 

A lot has happened in the past few days. Friday I had a scan/blood test and still had 4 follicles - was told to keep stimming and to come back for another check on Monday. I was worried about losing my lead follicle so spoke to a dr, who then said I should get checked again Saturday instead - another scan/blood test and then they decided I should trigger to tonight instead of tomorrow night! so egg collection on Tuesday, very anxious!


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## Coolstar

Gold, I know how stressing ivf is. But the good thing is that you have 4 follicles and you just need one healthy/good embryo to stick. I guess your follicles are growing in a good rate so they have preponed your EC date. Fxed for your collection. You will be in my prayers. Lots of hugs to you. Pls keep us updated.


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## YearningHeart

Gold - How are you doing? I believe today was your egg collection. Hope everything went well and you taking good rest. Looking forward to hearing your updates :)

Cool - How are you? How is 2ww going? When does you 2ww end again?


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## Coolstar

Heart, the tww is a real killer. I have beta on 15th but I am planning to test after 2 or 3 days(home test) . I feel I am out :( Feeling really depressed, irritated and angry. I feel like shouting at everyone. I guess it's all the hormones, meds and injections :( How are you doing ?
Gold, I was thinking about you. Hope everything went well.


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Awwww dont stress. I know the 2ww is a real killer, I dont blame you for feeling like that. Try your best to keep busy because if you have too much free time you will just think about this. The feeling is so horrible. I feel for everyone who goes through the 2ww. Your half way through your 2ww so thats great :)
Are you sure you want to test at home before the beta? I know a lot of ladies do that. I was so tempted to test before the beta but my OH kept telling me not to in case it is a BFN because then I would definitely be even more stressed. Think over it if you really want to check at home, if you can wait for the beta thats even better. 

- No updates for me really, Im trying to get fit, sometimes IVF is depressing me making me just want to eat. I know thats weird but anyhow I keep saying to myself I need to get more fit and get the body ready for the stims. Im still on microgynon pills, still 2 weeks to go of that. xx


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## YearningHeart

I hope Gold is doing alright.


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## Goldfish

*Cool* How are you doing in the TWW? Not too long to go, hope your hormones settle down!
*Yearning* how's things on the pill? I always found that stage really boring so I hope it's not too bad for you.

AFM, bad news. Egg collection was yesterday and only got 1 egg (apparently the other "follicles" were endometriomas and didn't have eggs). This morning I was told that the egg was immature and can't be fertilised. The last two cycles have been complete disasters. Feel really sad and not sure what to do next.


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## Coolstar

Goldfish said:


> *Cool* How are you doing in the TWW? Not too long to go, hope your hormones settle down!
> *Yearning* how's things on the pill? I always found that stage really boring so I hope it's not too bad for you.
> 
> AFM, bad news. Egg collection was yesterday and only got 1 egg (apparently the other "follicles" were endometriomas and didn't have eggs). This morning I was told that the egg was immature and can't be fertilised. The last two cycles have been complete disasters. Feel really sad and not sure what to do next.

Gold :hugs: , I am so sorry. I have no words :cry: , God is so unfair to us. Please be strong. Maybe taking a break will help you.
Heart, wishing you all the luck. I hope you get a bfp this cycle :thumbup:
AFM, I did HPT and it was a BFN :cry: ,I knew it but just wanted to confirm. I don't know when I can go for my 2nd ivf. I would be lurking around now. I am planning about some alternative treatment for my endo. Maybe I should accept I might never have my baby. Life is so unfair and I hate it so much.


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## Goldfish

*Cool* so sorry to you too. Is it remotely possible that it's a little early (unlikely but I thought I'd ask anyway)? Are you still having beta next week? Life really is unfair at the moment but I do hope that you get to do a second ivf someday. more people have BFN than BFP after their first IVF and I really think that they should tweak your meds to make sure you make more eggs and have a better chance next time :flower:


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## Coolstar

Thanks Gold, I know life is so unfair......its not that i am asking for a jackpot :( I will be going for beta since my dh wants it. I feel so bad for my DH that he has to suffer with me (He has no ttc issue). The whole ivf process has been so intense,consuming and painful for me :( . What are you planning to do next ? What is your DH saying ?


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## YearningHeart

:cry: Ladies I am so sad to hear the updates. I hope you can both be strong and get passed this. It is the troubles in life we face that makes us the strongest. 

Gold - :hugs: I am so sorry to hear this news, I was hoping we would get good news from you. I just dont know what to say or what to advice. I hope that something very special awaits you and all this suffering and pain is all worth it in the end. Stay strong, dont look at those who are more fortunate than you, it breaks the heart. (I know this is easy said than done) xx

Cool - Im so sorry to hear that it was a BFN but I dont want you getting too stressed out, you still have your beta next week so have faith. I know its a killer but stay as strong as possible. xx


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## Coolstar

Thanks Heart, I was really hoping all of us would get a bfp this time :( . Was really hoping for a miracle. I am keeping my fingers xed for you.


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## YearningHeart

Cool - When I had my first IVF, I read and was told that a lot of first round IVF usually fail, I dont know why. Maybe the body trying to get used to it, many are lucky next round or few. I hope you get a BFP whatever method you wish to next take. Do you have any plans? Take care. xx


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## Goldfish

*Cool* I'm not sure what to do next. we will definitely do IVF again but not sure when yet. Possibly going to try taking some supplements to try and improve my response. Dr suggested goIng on the pill to try and calm the endo down but that didnt work out last time - my endometrioma was still around the same size!
*Yearning* hope you're doing ok and not letting our bad news get you down. The chances of the first IVF working are only around 30%, maybe a bit more if the clinic is good. It's often used to gauge the patient's response so they can optimise it for second round - hope this second time is your lucky time.


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## Swtshae

Hi all. I hope you don't mind if I join in. I just went in this past Friday for a lap and hyst to find out that I have severe endometriosis. Though my tubes are open, I have the endo everywhere including my bowels. The doctor didn't remove any as he stated that there was so much I would have a lot of scar tissue from the laser and that would decrease my chances of conceiving through IVF. Now I feel like I'm just not sure which direction to take. Have any of you changed your diet to see if that helped with endometriosis?


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## YearningHeart

Gold - I just wish you all had BFP :(
I hope your next IVF works out. Its so nice to see you sounding positive, try not to stress over the past and find ways that can help you improve the next round of IVF. Dont give up. 

Swtshae - Hi and welcome to the forum. Hope you doing well. Sorry to hear about the endo, sorry I can not give advice, I dont have knowledge on endo. I hope someone can help you with the diet. x


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## Coolstar

My beta came back negative. I am planning to consult different RE for my next step . But I don't think I can go for the second ivf this year. The most difficult part is that none in the real world knows what pain I am going through. My cousin had called(he does not know that I am ttc) and asked me when I am planning for a baby and that I should think about it soon.
Swtshae, I have endo and my doctor adviced me against lap saying it will effect my ovaries. I am planning to start an alternative treatment for my endo and change my lifestyle and diet. I wish you all the luck.


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## Swtshae

Coolstar, what alternate treatment and diet change are you making if you don't mind me asking? I've done some research and found the endo diet and an anti-inflammatory diet. I'm going to ask my doctor at my post op his thoughts on diet change but I figured it couldn't hurt to begin my diet change now. 

Good luck with everything.


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## YearningHeart

Cool - :hugs: I am so sorry to hear that. I dont know what to say to make you feel better, I hope and I wish that you have a BFP soon and whatever route you decide to take works out for you. Thinking of you! xxxxxxx


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## Goldfish

*swtshae* hello! Are you definitely doing ivf straight after your lap? if not I'd suggest going for gold naturally for the next few months since they've found your tubes are open! Ive read about that endo diet too, but I haven't done it myself though as there's sooo many things to cut out - no dairy, no red meat, no gluten etc etc. I have cut out alcohol, caffeine, tofu and really minimised sugars but it hasn't seemed to help - I still have endo on both ovaries that just grow fast. I can't give up dairy because I need the protein for my low egg reserve! 
*Yearning* I fluctuate a lot between despair and optimism! I'm determined to give IVF another go, feels like I still have it in me to go again. maybe I'm nuts but not ready to give up yet.
*Cool* :hugs: It's so hard when people ask when you're going to have a baby, as if you could just magic one up. Sometimes wish I could just say "if things had worked out like I planned I'd have 1 kid and 1 on the way by now". BTW I'm planning on taking supplements soon, let me know if you're interested too


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## Swtshae

I'm not sure about the IVF until I have my post op on the 29th. I'll know which direction to go from there, but my husband mentioned that the doctor recommended going on birth control for at least 3 months which is the same approach they'd take if I want to begin the IVF process.


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## YearningHeart

Gold - I agree with you there, It is annoying when people ask when you are going to have a baby. I like that you are strong and not giving up. Its a motivation for others.


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## Coolstar

Hi Ladies, the last few days have been very very tough for me. Hasn't been a single day when i have not cried :( . I did consult 2 different RE. All of them is telling me to think about DE because of my low ovarian reserve. My endo has reduced a lot but they say it might relapse any time coz endo can never be cured. 
*Gold*, i think both of us are in near about problem. What supplements are you planning to take ?Did your doctor say about DE ? I am planning to go for 2nd ivf next year but now i am confused whether i go directly for DE IVF or do one fresh cycle of ivf and if it fails then go for DE IVF. Its such a difficult decision to make to let go of your biological link. They say success with my own egg is very very less. Also that with each IVF the AMH value drops down. Did that happen to you ? I am planning to check my AMH after 1 month. Also they asked me to go for Hysteroscopy.
*Heart*, when will you start with your stims ?
*Swtshae*, by diet change i am thinking of cutting down on processed/ frozen food. Cut down on alcohol, start exercise and yoga. Like Gold mentioned even i will suggest to go for 3/4 months of natural cycle before you move to IVF since your tubes are open. About alternate treatment i am doing some research and let you know soon.


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## Coolstar

Hi ladies, how is everyone doing ?


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## Goldfish

*Cool* It is really tough to get bfn after ivf, but I promise you that it will feel better with time. I have had many many days of crying when I thought my heart would break but time is a great healer. I still have sad days but the awful crying has eased. After my first ivf fail, the dr mentioned donor eggs and said I have a very low chance of ivf working. that's when I decided to get a second opinion - the second clinic said if my body can produce more eggs the higher my chances are especially since I was only 34 at the time (unfortunately I'm 35 now!!). so second ivf I was on slightly different meds and I managed to get 5 eggs; it didnt work but it gave me so much hope to go from 2 eggs to 5 eggs. that's why I'd suggest that you try ivf again with your own eggs, perhaps on slightly different stim meds or protocol to try and optimise your response. Some months are better than others - you have a better chance if it's a cycle with more antral follies at baseline before starting stims.

As for AMH levels, I had mine tested in early 2013 before I did my first ivf and it was extremely low. I never had it tested since as it doesn't really matter - i have low AFC, and am a poor responder after 4 rounds of ivf. 

Supplements that ive just started taking now are ubiquinol (antioxidant) and bee propolis (supposed to be anti-inflammatory). Oh and of course still taking preconception vits, which I've been doing for years. there's a bunch of other stuff to take but I haven't researched it all yet - too many!!


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Heeyyy how are you? I hope you are doing well and mind is fresh and ready and not give up, I wish I had words to motivate you and make you feel better, all I can say is dont worry, stay strong, this time will pass and hopefully one day will be your special day and when that special day comes you will forget the struggle. I feel so bad to speak about my IVF but I dont want to ignore you either, I start my stims from Friday hopefully after my scan. 

Gold - Its so nice to read how strong you are, Your so motivating that no matter what life gives you, you can pass it. Its true though I do agree, I too had my tears and times where I feel I cant take it no more, I guess we all do. Then after we have overpowered those emotions we get ready for next try and thats it I guess. We just have to keep trying. Never give up. (I remember after my 1st IVF fail I cried so much and said I cant go through it again! but now Im up and ready for 2nd round of IVF)


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## Coolstar

Gold, I totally agree with heart. You are so strong, I really admire you a lot. Is ubiqnuoil same as Coq10. Never heard about it. Will you start your next round of ivf soon.
Heart, keep us updated. I am wishing you all the luck . Fxed for your scans.
About me, I am much better now. I have started meditation ( never knew it is so tough), started walking for 20 mins each day and little bit of yoga. I did consult with diff doc. My simple cyst is gone and much of the endo gone. Since I cannot go for another round of ivf this year so she suggested 3 months of suppression (I have already taken one injection) to reduce my endo even more and then she will give me some meds and next 3 months try naturally. I am not expecting much but instead of just sitting I thought give it a try and pray for a miracle to happen. Till then it will be mid of Oct and then I wait for 2 more months. And then around Jan go for my next ivf. I have to decide then whether I go for DE IVF or my eggs ivf. She told me I have a good chance to conceive with de. Dh wants me to keep my options open for DE ivf as I have very little chance with my egg. The doc also told me to think about DE and that it will be at least 50% biological. I am totally confused. I want to try once more with my eggs and if that fails go to DE Cycle but then have to think about finance and all.


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Heeyyy nice to hear you feeling better :) Thats great, some good relaxation really helps, a walk, activity, yoga. Happy to hear there are plans for the future for you. Do keep us posted. x


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## Goldfish

Thanks guys for your kind words, it really helps to be able to share this with people who understand what I'm going through.

*Cool* Yes, ubiquinol is a type of coenzyme Q10 - it's supposed to be a more potent form of it (the less active form is ubiquinone). It's not cheap but hopefully it's worth a try. I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. Take the time before your next IVF to do as much as you can to optimise things, especially 3 months before you start because it takes that long for the egg to develop (or something like that). It's very tricky to decide own egg vs donor egg when cost is a factor, it's such an individual choice. 

I saw another doctor yesterday for a second opinion about what to do next. she suggested DHEA - a bit controversial as there's postive and negative stories (and my other doctor was against it), but I've decided to order it and try. also going to try omega 3 fish oil and maybe vitamin D as well. 

*Yearning* how are you doing? You have a good attitude to never give up, this might be your lucky time. Good luck for your scan


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## Coolstar

Heart, I have a strong feeling this will be your lucky time. I am praying for you. This thread needs a bfp, you be the first one so that we can follow you :)
Gold, it's good that you have shifted to different doc. I was about to tell you about vitamin d, I read once that if you have low vit d it contributes to low amh ( I have low vit d ). My new doc gave me dhea, I had read that ladies with endo should not take it. But now I have decided to trust my new doc and have started with dhea. You can have a look at this link before you go for your next ivf
https://natural-fertility-info.com/increase-egg-health
I am just praying that I can go for one round of ivf with my eggs. Everyone deserves a second chance.


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## Goldfish

*Cool* I think I read the same thing about endo ladies not taking DHEA! I asked my second doctor about it and she wasn't concerned. I've ordered my DHEA so we should compare our thoughts on it after we start taking it (I will start on 3x25 mg/day by the way). Oh I do hope you can find a way to do another round with your own eggs. I'm not sure how old you are but if you're under 35 you have a much better chance since your eggs are considered "young", even if you have low egg reserve!


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## YearningHeart

Gold - Awww we are here for you whenever you need us. I hope the omega 3 fish oil/vitamin D works for you and the DHEA, anything I hope something works for you. How does the DHEA work? Pills? If so, how long?

Cool - Awww thanks cool, I really hope this is my lucky time. Yeah I have heard a lot of people saying apparently first time IVF usually fails because its new for the body, so have hope for the second round. I hope you can have another go and yes totally I agree, everyone deserves a second chance!

- Today will be 3rd day of Menopur injection (In the evening) Last night the injection killed! The dosage goes down a little today. Anyhow for some reason I feel so different this round of IVF. In my first IVF I was so happy, and excited and cried of happiness and nervousness just a little, but this time I dont know why I just feel so down, I cry after the injection, no reason just feel so emotional. :-(


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## YearningHeart

I wanted to ask something quick - During your IVF did you discuss it with anyone for like support or just to get off the chest if you know what I mean? 

- I havent spoken to anyone properly about my IVF and keep thinking if I should, I kind of want to, you know have someone to speak to in person.

(I dont know if I asked this already in this forum)


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## Coolstar

Gold, after my ivf failed, I consulted 2 different doctors ( 1 being the one I am consulting at present) and both told me to take dhea. My doctor told me to take 25mg, 3 times a day. I have already started it. I am also planning to take fish oil. I am 32 at present but by the time I can go for my 2nd round of ivf I will be 33 :( Wish I was little younger. 

Heart, I know taking intramuscular injection is painful ( I was taking it) but just few more days and once you have a baby everything will be worth it. Ivf is such a rollercoaster, I am still recovering from my heartache. My dh was against me sharing it with anyone except my parents so I have not shared with my friends. But if you want to share it with anyone go ahead and talk with someone who can understand you. I meet one of my childhood friend yesterday for a cup of coffee. She came with her 2 years old daughter. I hugged her baby and my heart was melting out. She asked me when I am planning a baby and I pretended that at present I am too busy with my life and not thinking about baby. I came home and cried and cried :( infertility is so tough. It's killing me everyday. I know you have to talk with someone besides your dh. 
About dhea, it's a pill. It's suppose to increase your amh. You are suppose to take for at least 3 months.


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## YearningHeart

Cool - :hugs::hugs::hugs: Awwww I know IVF is a big struggle mentally and physically and your right no matter what pain we go through, when we have a baby in our arms we will forget that struggle so hold on tight and look forward to the future. 

Sometimes I feel like telling a friend, but then keep changing my mind. Sometimes you just need to speak to a girl friend, women's feeling are very much different to men or they just show it different. I spoke to a friend yesterday who told me that she is pregnant with her 4th child who she conceived too quick after her 3rd child so due to that and few health problems she is going to have an abortion. I felt so sad to hear that. Here we are struggling like mad for a baby and there are people who are having abortion. I know she has good reasons mainly because of health issues but it just makes you ponder that everyone's struggle is different.

All this will be worth it ladies! Stay positive and stay strong and know what is best for you will be for you! Wishing all you the best!! xxxxxxxx


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## Goldfish

*Yearning* I totally understand about being emotional the second time around, believe me I had random days when I burst into tears after doing an injection and other days I was fine. I told 2 friends for my first IVF but told no one in real life for all the other ones (my boss is the only person who knows I've done 4 rounds but don't really discuss it in detail, all she knows is that it hasn't gone well). I feel like I can't tell anyone in real life because I don't think they would understand, I actually have 2 friends who did IVF but both got lots of eggs and BFP on first round. I know what you mean, I'd love to speak to a friend about this but my best friends all have kids and it's hard to talk to people who have not faced similar fertility problems! Maybe you could see a counsellor? I've made an appt to do that soon

*Cool* I think DHEA is much more accepted in the US than it is in the UK. it's not licensed in the UK so the doctors don't really prescribe it, they just advise or give you their opinion about it. Many clinics here do not actually recommend it! but I feel desperate and need to try something. I know you're sad to be 33 for your next round of IVF, but just be glad you're on the right side of 35!


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## YearningHeart

Gold - Thanks for that lovely advice. I dont have a friend who is in my situation other than one but I dont trust her, all the rest of my friends are either not married, newly married or mothers. Can you believe it just the other day one of my friend was shocked that there are even pills to help with fertility, as in some mothers are completely clueless of life of the infertility women which is fine I guess. Anyhow yeah I will look into counseling, sometimes I just find it so hard and other times Im alright. I will see how it is next few days. Thanks again, its no nice to be able to come here and speak to you ladies who understand. Here I am complaining of second round IVF, I dont know how you did it Gold! You really deserve a baby after all this struggle. I hope your dreams come true. x


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## Coolstar

Gold, Are you taking vit d or d3 and what dose ? I read wheatgrass is good, do you have any idea?

Heart, when is your u/s. How is your pain. Hope the pain has reduced.


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Hi, I have a scan tomorrow. I think I will start the Cetrotide injections tomorrow. Lets see. So far the Menopur injection does hurt but I am able to bear it. Hope you are doing well. xx


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## Goldfish

*Yearning* :hugs: I'm here for you just as you are for me :) I can't bring myself to tell my closest friend about my IVF, she thinks you just have your eggs extracted and boom, it works. I hinted at the number of tests, scans and multiple daily injections, not to mention general anaesthetic for egg collection, and I think she was quite surprised at how complex it was. BTW I probably sound a lot tougher online than I do in real life! For example, yesterday I was feeling fine and then as I was brushing my teeth before bed it hit me suddenly and I just bawled my head off. Poor hubby was shocked! 

*Cool* I just bought vitamin D oral spray, i will take 1 spray daily and it delivers 1000 IU per spray - not sure if that's the correct dose or not! I haven't researched wheatgrass properly so let me know what you find out?


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## YearningHeart

Gold - Awwww I know dont worry. We all do have our momments and it is fine to. Of course we will feel the pain and at times the reminders come and then bring all the tears. Yesterday evening when my husband came home from work I just got so emotional and started crying. My poor husband felt helpless. 

By the way reading your post reminds me - I too once upon a time thought baby making is easy, just intercourse and done! I never knew what IVF was or even that fertility treatments, I was absolutely clueless. It was only when I was going through it I was learning. Now I feel like an expert in IVF! lol


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## Coolstar

When my dh told me we should try for a baby 3 yrs back, he had to talk me into it because I thought I was not prepared to have a baby that point of my life and more over it will just take me 3/4 cycles to get pg whenever I decide to have a baby. 2.5 yrs, one failed ivf, and doc telling me I have a very low chance of getting pregnant with my own eggs the scenario has changed so much :( . I told my dh I am glad he talked me into ttc otherwise I would have started ttc now and by the time I would have moved to ivf my amh would have been -1 :( .

Heart, keep us posted about your scan. Did you discuss about your ivf with anyone ?

Gold, I will do some research about wheatgrass and let you know. I totally get you, sometime I am so normal and the next moment I am crying. I am going through one of my darkest phase in my life. I need a vacation now but I want to save all our money for ivf. It's so sad we can't afford a vacation also. I am planning to visit my cousin in Chicago during fall and at present that is the only vacation I can afford.


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## Goldfish

*Yearning* you're right, I suppose I didn't realise how involved IVF is either before i did it myself. I mean, I knew about all the injections but I didn't know about all the blood tests and all the little details of testing and scans and hormones... Not to mention all the different type of protocols and AMH levels!! wish it wasn't all so complicated.
*Cool* I'm sorry you can't afford to go away but it's good that you can visit Chicago at least. One day when you have a baby you won't remember your missed holidays (well I hope so anyway)!


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Heyy how are you? How are you keeping? Hope your well. I agree with you, I wish I started my process with the doctors much earlier but I guess its good that something has started and same with you. :)

Gold - haha yep it is indeed veryy complicated, to be honest I still dont understand the AMH level properly. Within IVF there is so many different types like you said, I am just an expert on the one I have done! lol

No updates for me ladies, still on the stims. Iv been on the stims for 13 days now. I have another scan on Friday, hopefully they see eggs and give me an egg collection date.


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## Coolstar

Hi ladies, how are you all doing? Was really busy last few days so could not log in bnb much. Heart, did you have your EC ?


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## xx Emily xx

Hi ladies, just thought I'd stop by and send you some positive thoughts. I totally feel your pain...

Dec 2010 started TTC, totally unaware of problems
Feb 2011 period pains got horrendous
April 2011 went to GP about acute intense pain
Sept 2011 finally had ultrasound - large cyst seen on Right ovary, more smaller ones on left
After several cancellations ... 
March 2012 lap & dye - diagnosed severe endo, both ovaries pulled down behind retroverted uterus, left tube completely blocked, right tube partially blocked 
August 2012 - referred to FS who did ultrasound - endo cysts worse than before
November 2012 Started Decapeptyl injections due to pain
December 2012 - lap #2 - endo worse, both ovaries attached to each other, back of uterus and attached to bowel 
April 2013 - IVF #1 5 day transfer, no frosties 
May 2013 - BFP
Jan 2014 - baby girl born!

IT CAN HAPPEN

:hugs:


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Hi how are you? Iv missed you :( but yeah its good to keep busy busy, better than wasting time right! No iv not had the EC yet. I have another scan on Monday. hopefully they give the EC date then.

Emily - Awww thanks for that and congratulations on having a baby girl. Your right, it can happen. I hope all those ladies here that got a BFN get a BFP veryy soon. Gold and Cool Im thinking of you guys. xx


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## Coolstar

Heart, aawwwww miss you too. I have been really busy for last few days but I have been thinking about you and Gold. Just logged in today to see how you are doing. How many follicles they can see ? Hope they are growing good. Did you get your EC date today. You are always in my prayers hun. 

Emily, congrats for your bfp. So happy when lttc get bfp. Hope it happens for us soon.


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## YearningHeart

Cool - Yeah I had my scan, there are quite a lot of follicles, I have another scan on Wednesday hopefully they give the EC date then. Iv been on stims for good few days now (18 days)
Aww I do think about you and gold too. Are you planing on another round of IVF? or another treatment? and yes I hope everyone gets a BFP too! xxx


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## Goldfish

*Emily* nice to see you again, I remember you from last year as I was following your IVF as I was about to do my first one. 
*yearning* yay, hopefully EC for you soon as 18 days is an awfully long time for stims!
*cool* it's almost a relief when work is so busy right? Keeps your mind off your fertility worries.

It's now been over a month since my last IVF. Things are more bearable now but I still feel a lot of anxiety sometimes. I actually saw a counsellor last week (it's free when you do IVF at my clinic), she was nice but I'm not sure it helped to be honest. I couldn't seem to stop crying!


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