# No hope,it's all over:(



## Desperado167

Just to let u all know ,my much wanted beautiful babies heart has stopped beating:cry::cry:Was holding out for a miracle and it wasn't to be,he was too precious for this world,I am completely devastated and I have been advised by my mw to give up on my quest for number five ,:cry::cry::cry::cry:She told hubby to get me a puppy and I was just putting myself thru hell for nothing ,she said my body was rejecting all the pregnancies because of my age and to go home and throw all my opks and cbfm in the bin,this is from a lady I have loved and trusted for ten years and she says she is being 100 percent with me .my heart is broken :cry::cry::cry::cry:Please help me.....................


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## Butterfly67

Oh Despie I am so so sorry, I can say nothing to make it hurt less but just want to send you a huge lot of :hug:

xxxxx


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## Junebug_CJ

Oh Desperado my heart goes out to you :hugs: I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now :cry:


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## Katesmithers

Oh I am so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you today (even though I do not know you). :(


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## dachsundmom

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Oh Despie- :cry:

I am so very sorry! I can't be there with you to let you cry on my shoulder, but here is a big virtual hug!

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## future_numan

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry:cry:
But her advice to you is BS.. I have a friend and her DR told her the same thing.. she kept having one MC after another.. they had started TTC in May'08.. she is also in her 40's and has two grandchildren now.. well I am happy to say she ingnored her DR advice and is now 28 weeks pregnant with her forever baby ( a lil girl)..
If we always did what everyone else told us to do more than half of us wouldn't be TTC..
I would find another MW or OBGYN till you get someone willing to help you find out why..:hugs:


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## onmymind17

Oh sweetheart, i am so very sorry!!! I am sending you tons of warm hugs, but i am sorry i know you trust this woman, but have they done any testing to see if anything is wrong, it just does not make any sense. All my love and prayers are with you honey!!


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## Indigo77

Despie....how heartbreaking....I know how much you wanted another baby....
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## mrsdh

Oh hun, why oh why is life so cruel?:cry: Sending you massive :hugs: and thinking of you at this terribly sad time:hugs: follow your heart babe.xxx:hugs:


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## Macwooly

Despie nothing I can say :hugs::hugs::hugs:

My heart is breaking for you right now :hugs:

Take time to heal and talk to your DH and decided what is right for the 2 of you and your family :hug:

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## cebethel

omg noooooo :cry: This is such heartbreaking news, I'm so so sorry :hugs: :hugs:

I want to kick the MW in the face though. What a horrible thing to say :(


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## Desperado167

My heart is just broke,I can't see how I am gonna get thru this,I have had all the tests and a camera put into my womb and everything was clear ,I even asked the doc today to look at my ovaries and womb today and she said they looked really good,please give me some hope..........:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## BeachComber

Despie, I'm so so very sorry to read this! I was so hoping your little bean was hanging in there! Please know that you are in my prayers and like others have said, please don't give up just yet! Find a new doctor who will listen to you! Sending you many many hugs.....:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Desperado167

Thank u everyone,am just numb with grief for my darling baby and then to be told this as well it's too much to take :cry::cry::cry::cry:


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## dachsundmom

Here is hope! :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Wendyk07

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

I am so sorry for your loss hun. There is nothing i can say that hasnt already been said here. Please get a 2nd opinion from a dr. I cant believe she said that to you and DH. 

W.


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## dachsundmom

^^^WSS


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## Butterfly67

Despie, take time to grieve for your baby before making any other decisions. I was just away from the board and thinking about you for a bit and although I understand that there is hope and if you want to you should not give up I thought about it as if you were my sister and if you were, would I want you to take the chance of going through this much pain again and I have to say that in a blink of an eye, if my sister was in the same position I would definitely not want her to suffer like you are, so in that way I can kind of understand what the MW said, if she has known you for 10 years then she obviously cares about you and does not want to see you in so much pain :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


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## unnamed

Desperado I am so sorry for you. I was really praying for a miracle.
:hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Mbababy

Desperado, I'm so sorry....:cry:


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## velo

Very sorry despie... sending you lots of :hugs: :hugs:.

For hope, I might try to see a TCM (traditional chinese medicine) - it seems that western medicine is not able to help you. I know it has a lot of success for women in their 40s as well as with women that have had recurrent m/c's. The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis is an interesting read from this perspective.


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## herbie

oh hunni :hugs: i"m so, so sorry:cry:
it is so hard to lose a baby you"ve longed for and was much wanted:cry:
i haven"t had as many m/c"s as you and to be honest, there is no way i could get through losing as many babies as you hun:cry: but i can understand why you want to keep trying
the emptiness is awful, i couldn"t stand having my baby there then all of a sudden he"d gone:cry:so i totally understand hun:hugs:really needed to feel pregnant again
you need to talk to your hubby hun and make that decision:hugs:
i"m here for you no matter what you decide:hugs:
just take some time to grieve your babies and then decide what to do next:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Jellybean0k

How awful. You're in my thoughts xxx


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## Desperado167

:hugs::hugs::hugs:Just feel so alone and empty,I wanted my baby so much it hurts,I hope he didn't feel any pain ,just can't stop crying,:cry::cry::cry::cry:


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## Mellybelle

I am so, so sorry Despie. :hugs: :hugs:

I know your midwife was trying to be helpful but I find her comments of "chuck all your TTC stuff in the bin and get a puppy" quite insensitive. 

Do whatever you feel is right. :hugs: :hugs:


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## Storm1jet2

Oh Desperado - I'm so so so so sorry - I know how much you wanted this baby. No great words of advice, just make sure your DH looks after you :hugs:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Desperado167

All I wanted was my baby and now he's gone I just don't know wot to do ,:cry::cry::cry:


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## v2007

:hugs:

I am so sorry. 

V xxx


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## mrshanna

Oh Desperado I am so so sorry:hugs:

I agree with the other ladies, give yourself some time to mourn before you make any decisions about your future.

I will keep you in my prayers.


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## Mellybelle

:hugs: cry as much as you need to.


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## sequeena

I am so very sorry for your loss. Fly high angel :kiss: :hugs:


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## Macwooly

You need to give yourself time :hugs: Now is not the right time for decisions now is the time to grieve your baby and allow yourself time to heal :hugs:


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## NorthStar

Desperado I'm so very sorry

As others have already said, your midwife should not have had that conversation with you when you were so shocked and vulnerable, take some time to take care of yourself and grieve, before you decide what to do next.


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## Desperado167

Wooly I just want him back ,why o why did he have to leave me?I prayed so hard that he wud stay with me,I will never get to cuddle or hold him,I just can't bare the pain,:cry::cry::cry::cry:


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## Macwooly

Desperado167 said:


> Wooly I just want him back ,why o why did he have to leave me?I prayed so hard that he wud stay with me,I will never get to cuddle or hold him,I just can't bare the pain,:cry::cry::cry::cry:

I don't know why you weren't allowed to keep this one hun :nope::hugs:


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## Mellybelle

I wish I could give you a real hug despie. :hugs: I know how painful this is, and how unfair. I've got to get ready for work, but i'll keep checking in on my phone during the day.
:hugs: :hugs:


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## dachsundmom

:cry: :hugs:

I know it's not fair!


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## tulip girl

I'm so very, very sorry to hear your devastating Desperado. Thinking of you. Take care. x x


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## Desperado167

So so tired,going to bed ,thank u ,xxxx


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## Macwooly

I hope you manage to get some sleep :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Ruth2307

If you're feeling up to it tomorrow you'll see my post. (You were still showing as online when I started reading and the by the time i got to the end you'd signed off)

My dearest Despie. What can I say? Words fails me and anything I do say seems so inadequate. I am truly sorry for your loss.

You know how fond of you I have grown and hearing your sad news and reading about your pain has made me cry. :cry:

Please grieve as much as you need to and lean on your husband. And of course we'll here too. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## crystal443

I'm so sorry:hugs::hugs: Take some time before you decide on anything and make sure you and your DH take care of each other:hugs::hugs:


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## sammy1205

I am sooooo sorry.
I have to agree with others, maybe the MW cares for you but "Buy a puppy" WTF is that!
That is soooooo unprofessional. Get a second opinion. ((HUGS)))


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## zanDark

:cry: I'm so sorry for your loss :( 

"get a puppy" is just an unacceptable thing to say :( it doesn't matter if this is your first, second, fifth, twentieth child...it's your baby and it's heartbreaking that the little bean has grown wings :cry: :hugs:


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## LillyLove

I am so sorry. :cry: I know how excited you were, and others on this board that were cheering you on. (WE ARE STILL CHEERING YOU ON!) I am so sorry for your loss.:hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Miss_C

Desperado I am so very very sorry for your loss I am also sorry you had to listen to total and utter BS. Find another RE or FS or whatever they are called there and have them help you support the pregnancy etc. Much as most midwives are wonderful they are there for the AFTER not the before.

Take time to grive this loss and then grab the bull by the horns and be really proactive and don't listen to NO.

We are all here for you!


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## Bubba3

Oh Despie , I wondered about you yesterday as you hadn't checked in for a while.
I am so so sorry. As the other girls have said the mw may have been someone you trust but that was at best clumsy at worst hurtful and cruel at a time when your totally raw which is un acceptable .
My best friend was desperate for her third . I watched her go through mc after mc some of those angels lived for quite a few weeks. I watched her go through so much heart ache . Her mum told her time to give up , but they didn't and their lo is here and loved to bits. 
I agree that it doesn't matter which no baby it is it hurts all the same.
Were here Despie , even if it is just virtual were with you every painful step of the way. Were all on your shoulder cheering you on and at the moment feeling sad for your loss. 
Take time , be together , don't give up .:hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Andypanda6570

I am so deeply sorry :cry::cry: Please don't give up half these doctors are quacks. Sending much love to you XOXOOXOX :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Angelicdragon

Desperado I am so sad and sorry to read of your news. My heart goes out to you hun. I truly know the desire you feel and the devastation this is causing you. 
As for the midwife, I know she is talking professionally not with her heart. I would say she has never had ladies our age in her care. Most ladies I know would be referred to a high risk OB. 
There are many women around the world now and in ages past who have had babies at our age and beyond. I mentioned previously about a thread I found online posted by women over 49 having a baby. There were 3 aged 50 and one aged 51. They all had healthy babies so it can be done hun.
I am holding onto that hope and hope you can hang onto the same lifeline these ladies offer. 
Just think generations ago there was no birth control and it was not unheard of to hear of women still having babies in their late 40's and early 50's while their daughters were also having babies of their own. Here in our mountain valley with a history going back to 1817 there are numerous families with 14+ children and the youngest being years younger than their nieces and nephews.
Keep the hope hun.
Take some time to grieve your little one and recover but don't lose sight of the rainbow.
big hugs and love to you
Jude


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## LLbean

oh NO!!!!!!!!!!!

I am literally in tears for you Desperado...how could this be? I don't even know what to say:cry:

I certainly have smacked the midwife though...she may have the best intentions but her comments and suggestions were crude and mean in my opinion.

Look it is up to you, you can keep on trying or even not try and not prevent, you know? I swear stranger things have happened.

:hugs: I'm here for you sweetie


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## Indigo77

Despie...I just don't know what to say....My heart is broken....for you and your little baby...your tenth angel...so very sorry....:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## onmymind17

Desperado167 said:


> :hugs::hugs::hugs:Just feel so alone and empty,I wanted my baby so much it hurts,I hope he didn't feel any pain ,just can't stop crying,:cry::cry::cry::cry:

Oh honey my heart is just breaking for you, you are not alone, i am with you in spirit, holding your hand and hugging you. I know exactly how you feel, you go ahead and cry sweetheart, you mourn the loss of your little one, for now thats all you need to do or think about.


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## sarahincanada

our beautiful Desperado167 :hugs::hugs::hugs: my heart is still breaking for you :hugs::hugs::hugs:

her words do sound mean, but Im assuming she has seen what you have been through and was trying to spare you more pain, even though the words didnt come out right. only you can make the decision whether to keep trying or not, I just wish they could know what was happening and so you could move around it or fix it. I wonder if you can go to another specialist that has some kind of advanced testing? you have had 3 children I think already so I cant believe its impossible.

you are a special lady with 10 angels looking after you, even though its so devestating thats also such a wonderful thing and Im sure they will guide you through your life and make sure everything is ok. :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## momof3wants5

I amso sorry. I don't know you but my heart is broken for you. Your post made me cry. I know the pain of that loss - my m/c was a long time ago but it all came back to me just now.

Be happy with the blessings you have and the DH that stands behind you. I know that doesn't help much right now - but know that you are blessed. And thought of from here - I am so sorry. :nope:

Hugs :hugs: Hugs :hugs: Hugs


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## Reb S

Desperado, I am so so sorry. You are in my thoughts and heart xxx


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## Mellybelle

Just popping in with more :hugs:. Hope you slept ok.


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## Desperado167

Morning everyone,:hugs::hugs::hugs:just read thru all your posts and I just want to thank u all from the bottom of my heart ,:hugs::hugs::hugs:I feel like my heart has been ripped in two but knowing I have all u guys makes me so much stronger,dh finding it hard but is giving me lots of hugs,he has loads of work on and can't let people down as he's self employed but the kids are keeping me busy,they have been lovely and shared a bed with me last nite as I just couldn't sleep without them,so our kingside bed held six last nite,not much sleep but it helped having them near me,:hugs::hugs:I know I will see all my little angels one day and have to content myself with that otherwise I just couldn't cope,I just keep asking myself why but that's a question no-one but god can answer ,love and prayers to u all and thank you,:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Suki73

Desperado, 

I'm so, so sorry about this :cry: - your news is heartbreaking. I agree with others that the mw was probably trying to say what *she* thought was best for you, but her timing was dreadful and her words were very blunt and clumsy. 

Only you and your DH can decide how you want to proceed, and you need to give yourself a break and be extra specially nice to yourself for a while. Personally, I don't believe you should give up, but what do I know, I can only imagine the kind of distress you've been in. :( 

Take it very very easy, dear and remember there are loads of people on here who clearly are rooting for you whatever you decide. 

x


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## Macwooly

I'm glad you are finding strength and comfort from your DH and children :hugs:

Sending more :hugs: for you today :hugs:


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## Jax41

:hugs:Desp:hugs: I wish I could be with you to give you a proper hug, I'm so sorry that this keeps happening to you.... I've made a beautiful picture in my mind of you, DH and your lovely children all snuggled up together last night, I can feel the love :hugs:

Loads of luv Despie, I'm sure you will know what you want to do when then :cry: have passed a little.

Always here for you

xXx


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## Ruth2307

Mellybelle said:


> Just popping in with more :hugs:. Hope you slept ok.

And another one from me. :hugs::hugs: 

Must have given you a measure of comfort to be tucked up in bed with all your kids. What a beautiful picture! xxxx


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## Bubba3

Thinking of you Despie , your hubby and kids sound amazing. The poor dads can get a bit lost in all this . We had a lot of support offered for me but my hubby got a bit forgotten , it's their loss too . Gentle steps , moment by moment , take care x


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## angifi

Despie, I am so sorry to hear this. I am thinking of you.

I am sorry your midwife said such a thing. How can she know what lies ahead for you? It was cruel of her to say those things. 

Take time to mourn your little angel.


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## cebethel

Sending you my love & another :hugs:


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## Uni

I've been lurking here for a while and following your heartbreaking story. I was hoping it would end well. I feel so much for you, I have only had one miscarriage but I know how much it hurts and I think you are a hero. You should not listen to anyone else, listen to your heart and what it tells you to do. Big hugs to you and your DH :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


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## Indigo77

Lovely picture...all six of you in the bed together...

Sending you more :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## radiochic

I was just looking through this site because my husband & I are going to start trying for our 1st soon (I'm 38-he's 36, neither of us have kids) but when I saw your post I had to join to say you're all amazing women. My gosh-what a wonderful place to come for support and love. I wish you the best Despie, and I'm so grateful you've been blessed with the children you do have. I'm so sorry for your sadness and I truly hope you are feeling much better very soon. xo


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## Desperado167

Uni said:


> I've been lurking here for a while and following your heartbreaking story. I was hoping it would end well. I feel so much for you, I have only had one miscarriage but I know how much it hurts and I think you are a hero. You should not listen to anyone else, listen to your heart and what it tells you to do. Big hugs to you and your DH :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Am def not a hero hun,just a mom on a mission to complete her family,:hugs:Thank u for thinking of me lovely and well done on your bfp,:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Shelley71

So sorry Despie - :hugs:


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## sukisam

so sorry to hear of the loss of your little one, I know how devastating loosing a baby is. As others have said only you and your hubby can decide what to do next, take time to grieve your little one and then when you're both feeling stronger you can make decisions about the future. so sorry you have to go through this again sweetie.
Thinking of you both in the coming days and weeks
make sure you look after yourself 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## LLbean

Hugs again!!!


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## onmymind17

I was just thinking about you and wanted to send you some more hugs and prayers. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Jodes2011

Desperado167 said:


> Just to let u all know ,my much wanted beautiful babies heart has stopped beating:cry::cry:Was holding out for a miracle and it wasn't to be,he was too precious for this world,I am completely devastated and I have been advised by my mw to give up on my quest for number five ,:cry::cry::cry::cry:She told hubby to get me a puppy and I was just putting myself thru hell for nothing ,she said my body was rejecting all the pregnancies because of my age and to go home and throw all my opks and cbfm in the bin,this is from a lady I have loved and trusted for ten years and she says she is being 100 percent with me .my heart is broken :cry::cry::cry::cry:Please help me.....................

OMG i'm so so so sorry for your loss :hugs::hugs::hugs: i've not managed to read any of the other posts yet but i am in the same situation as you TTC #5 Can i ask how old are you? Sorry but i can't believe your MF would say something like that. Well if i was in your shoes i would tell her where to go and i would have that 5th baby. You have 4 healthy children and i don't see any reason why you can't have a healthy 5th one. Sometimes they talk bollocks!!! I know it's hard i've been through the same situation as you as i've just recently lost a baby this will be my 3rd MC this year but i'm still hopeful and midwives are there to support and guide you not to tell you what you can and can't do unless it's putting your health at risk? This makes me so angry. Keep smiling and i know you and your DH will do whats right for you! xxxx


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## Desperado167

Hi jodes.I am 44 and this was my tenth little angel I have lost in the past five years,have had every test and scan and no hope,am at my wits end and desperately want my baby back ,can't stop crying and am walking around in a daze ,just don't know wot to do with myself :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:


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## Jodes2011

Desperado167 said:


> Hi jodes.I am 44 and this was my tenth little angel I have lost in the past five years,have had every test and scan and no hope,am at my wits end and desperately want my baby back ,can't stop crying and am walking around in a daze ,just don't know wot to do with myself :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

I know you do and it's so so heartbreaking and unfair!!!! You just need some time to grieve and then get back to the drawing board and discuss with your DH what the next step will be? :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: and we are all here for you. Lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Macwooly

Despie :hugs: One day you will be with your 10 baby :angel: :hugs:

Take all the time you need; cry all you want & need to and then take some time to sit and talk with your DH and decided what you both want to to :hugs:


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## SeaShells

Desperado:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## dachsundmom

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Desperado167

Thanks everyone for all your love and support,today's another bad day,am totally knackered and boobs are aching and am just emotionally exhausted,I still haven't passed anything yet which makes it more difficult but the doc said my body was already starting to reabsorb the pregnancy,and I cud either bleed a lot or not bleed for a few weeks wen it will be like a heavy period,I have never had this before ,any advice please?xxxxxxxxxx


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## Macwooly

So sorry no advice to give :nope: I just can't imagine how hard it must be to know you beanie is now an :angel: but yet you still feel pregnant :hugs:


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## Desperado167

Macwooly said:


> So sorry no advice to give :nope: I just can't imagine how hard it must be to know you beanie is now an :angel: but yet you still feel pregnant :hugs:

:hugs::hugs::hugs:Just can't bear to have any medical intervention ATM so I think it's gonna be a long road,am still taking my aspirin,folic acid and b6 ,not sure if I shud stop those as I have been taking them for a long time ,back to hospital next Thursday to see if everything is ok ,seem to be taking one step forward and ten steps back ,:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:


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## Jodes2011

Desperado167 said:


> Thanks everyone for all your love and support,today's another bad day,am totally knackered and boobs are aching and am just emotionally exhausted,I still haven't passed anything yet which makes it more difficult but the doc said my body was already starting to reabsorb the pregnancy,and I cud either bleed a lot or not bleed for a few weeks wen it will be like a heavy period,I have never had this before ,any advice please?xxxxxxxxxx

It will take a while before you feel normal again and my only advice would be to take things easy (i know easier said than done with 4 children) and let nature take it's course if you feel you can't cope with any intervention. I never had any intervention with my MC's and i bled almost straight away. See how you feel on Thursday? I assume they will do another scan and you can re-ascess the situation then? Please be careful as i had an infection after my MC's. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: i wish there was something to take your pain away. I know when i feel down i ask my kids to give me a cuddle :kiss::kiss:


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## Desperado167

Thanks jodes,really helps talking to u and all the other lovely ladies,am def taking it easy and if I have any high temps pains or blood I will head straight to the hospital ,so sweet of u to be so supportive,:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Jodes2011

Desperado167 said:


> Thanks jodes,really helps talking to u and all the other lovely ladies,am def taking it easy and if I have any high temps pains or blood I will head straight to the hospital ,so sweet of u to be so supportive,:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

some of us have been in your situation and can relate to how your feeling. Don't make any rash descisions just take some time to thinks things through. I know a few women who have had babies in their 40's so please don't think it's the end of the road for you and it's not impossible. Be strong and i know you will get through this with the support of your husband and gorgeous children. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss:


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## kosh

omg, i'm so so sorry despie! :cry::cry:
i haven't checked the forum for a couple of days and i found this now.
i can't imagine how you must be feeling right now, please take time to grief as much s you need, enjoy your children and your husband.
lots of huge :hugs: to you :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


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## Mellybelle

Hi Despie, 

Hope your feeling a little better today. I dont mean less sad, that wont happen for a long, long time. 
I hope you are a little clearer in your mind and able to cope a little better. 

Sending you healing wishes and thoughts. :hugs:


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## animalcracker

I am so sorry Desperado:hugs: This must be incredibly hard for you. Have you tried visiting a fertility specialist to see if there is an underlying problem?:hugs: You aren't really that old - women in their 40's have babies all the time. It just seems you have had awful luck.:nope: I am so sorry:hugs::hugs:


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## threebirds

So sorry xxxxxxxxx
You've been so thoughtful & supportive on here & as a newbie first timer i've appreciated that so much. So sorry there is nothing I can say to ease your pain now. Thinking of u xxxxxx


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## Glowstar

I'm so truly, truly sorry :cry:


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## Jodes2011

How are you feeling today? xxxx


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## Saz100

I have only just read this post and wanted to say how very sorry I am. I know it's a cliche but time will heal, just makesure you give yourself the time and go with the up and down days. Its an emotional rollercoaster but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger! Lots of love xxx


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## Desperado167

Hi everyone,thanks for all your lovely kind words,I read them wen I feel down,:hugs::hugs::hugs:Am keeping busy as my daughter is 13 tomorrow,lots of food and presents to organise,hospital on Thursday as I still haven't passed anything , am not sure wots going on ,will let u know,:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Jax41

Big hugs Desp :hugs:, have a lovely party tomorrow, try not to think about Thursday just yet :hugs:


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## Donna210369

Desperado, just read your post hunni and am so so sorry. It made me cry. I hope it helps knowing how much you are loved by all the wonderfully supportive ladies on here. Don't give up on your dream sweetie and remember one day you'll see your babies again, take care of yourself babe xx

:hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## purplelou

Dear Desparado - Im late to see your post , but wanted to say how so very sorry I am. be kind to yourself and take comfort in your wonderful family big cyber :hugs: coming your way xxx


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## herbie

have a lovely day today Despie:hugs::hugs:
try not to worry too much about thursday and enjoy your day with your DD :hugs:


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## Desperado167

Thanks Hun,she had a great day,been up since six with her so bed early tonite,xxxxxxx


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## luvmydoggies

*Desperado*- my heart is breaking for you my sweet friend.:cry::cry::cry::cry: I can't believe that your mid-wife was so cruel. I'm sending you massive hugs hunni.:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2::hugs2:


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## herbie

good luck today xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
thinking of you:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Reb S

Desperado, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope it's not too awful and that once it's over you can move on and heal. Loads of hugs and thoughts x
PS hope your DD's party was a wonderful occasion


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## Jodes2011

Des good luck for tomorrow my love and hope everything goes smoothly for you. Your in my thoughts and keep positive because i believe it will happen for you. Lots of love Jodie :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss:


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## BeachComber

Praying for you today Despie.......:hugs::hugs:


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## Omi

I am so sorry i missed this hun. I am so, so gutted for you! Please take good care, lots of love and cyber hugs coming your way :hug: xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## lisap2008

I am so very sorry for your loss ,:cry::hug:


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