# Did having a gender scan help?



## cooch

I'm only 5 weeks pregnant from ivf. We've been desperate for a baby for the past 3 years. I have my first scan in three weeks to check for a heart beat. 

Dh and I would both love a girl, it my dream as well as his. At this point in time I'll be glad to have a healthy baby but I'm wondering did having the scan help?

I really don't want a surprise as I hate surprises and I feel that if it's a boy finding out early would give me the time to adjust and look forward. Also to plan a name as I really don't like any boys names at all, at least none that go with our surname. Did anyone feel better about things having had a gender scan? Xx


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## katherinegrey

I had a gender scan and didn't hear the gender I wanted. I wanted a girl and heard boy, and honestly, it was hard at the time to hear it, I got out of my scan and cried. But I had chance to prepare myself. I had chance to buy little blue clothes, and pick some names out, I got chance to become accustomed and look forward to my little man, so I'm glad I had that scan personally.


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## dollych

Big congrats on your pregnancy!!! :)
It really helped me having a scan. When I found out I was having my second boy at a private 16 week scan, I cried and cried when I got home, then cried for the next few months on and off because I was convinced I was having a girl this time. I'm glad I had the scan because it helped me to prepare and get used to the fact that I was having another Boy. I felt so guilty for having those feelings and I knew I would love him with all my heart, but I was devastated that I wasn't going to get my Girl. I think it would have been a shock waiting to find out until the birth. Now he is here, I wouldn;t change him for the world, but I still would love a little Girl.
Good luck xx


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## Katt36

I was devastated to hear boy for the third time as its my last and final chance. I had a gender scan at 15 plus weeks last Friday and have suffered the devastation ever since. Someone gave me great advice that I wish I would have taken. Not to find out gender at all because once the baby is placed in your arms disapointment will never enter the equation. I wish I could take the scan back because there is nothing worse then feeling awful about the blessing of a healthy baby. In your circumstance I would say just be grateful for whatever you are blessed with. This advice coming from someone who is completely devastated, I sound like I am talking out of both sides of my mouth. That's all the advice I have for you, I do hope you get that dream!!! Keep us posted. I will be saying a little prayer for you.


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## Princesa7

It helped me with my #2.

Let me start off by saying this with my 1st pregnancy the thought of having a boy never crossed my mind,neither did picking out boy names. I always dreamed of having girls since I was little so when it was time for the u/s I was so excited to find out the sex well it never happened cuz my baby had their legs closed and kept them closed for every u/s after that lol I had a gut feeling it was a boy and sure enough I was right! I wasn't overly sad cuz I was happy my baby was here.

Well 10yrs later I'm preggo with #2 and let me say we did everything to sway for a girl lol and like all the gender prediction charts & old wives tales all said girl (they did for my 1st too!) But by the end of my 1st trimester I had a feeling it was a boy but still was holding out for a girl....well the big u/s day came and the goods were showing it was all boy!!

I cried privately for about 10-15mins with my husband afterwards and I was disappointed BUT knowing helped a lot. It made it easier to just ignore the pink stuff and look at boy stuff lol and pick out names.

Were ttc #3 and if I get a BFP I would want to know again.


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## MonyMony

Wrestled with this question myself. But I decided I don't want to know until birth, because I do have a preference. Yet I know I won't care the moment I hold the baby. 

But I'm worried someone will accidentally let it slip when giving me my genetic screen news, or the u/s tech, or the doctor. I'm even afraid I might be able to tell at the 18 week scan. It's going to be a long 28 weeks from here.

Luckily, though, there are so many gender neutral colors besides the old pastel greens and yellows for baby clothes and toys that it won't be hard to prepare ahead of time at all. We'll be using a lot of hand-me-downs too.


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## Pearls18

It was great for #1 terrible for #2. First time it enabled everything to settle in, helped me bond, plan etc. This time it has made me so detached from the pregnancy, I keep thinking of all the things I can't and won't do/have, I've had disappointing reactions from people I don't think I'd have had if I waited. I think for me it is because it is most likely my last pregnancy, so it made everything very final, if I was planning a third I think it would have had the same effect as my first gender scan and be good for me.


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## truthbtold

I have to agree with Dolly my scan helped me a lot. I cried for weeks and got myself together before his arrival. I was too scared not to find out in advance I might have gone into ppd.


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## sillysapling

I think it depends on the situation. If you just _want_ a girl but don't _expect_ one, and are sure you'll be fine either way- I think waiting can be good. For us, we really expected a girl and finding out otherwise was more _shock_ than disappointment, and I think the shock would have been there even at birth. 

Either way: I think, unless you want to talk about the disappointment, you might want to tell people you're waiting to find out the sex at birth. It might be easier to deal with getting gender neutral clothes and such until the baby's actually there.

Also- keep in mind that ultrasounds aren't 100% reliable. You might do a scan, get told one sex, and then at birth find out it was wrong.


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## Locksley27

I found out gender with all 5 of my babies, for me it was easier knowing in advance then waiting until birth. It gave me time to come up with a name and get baby gear in order.


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## Bec C

I am opposite to most here. I am not finding out. I just know if they said boy I'd be upset, but I know when they put a baby in my arms I will love it instantly. I desperately want another girl, and I know if its a boy I will be dissappointed, but I know when I see it I'll love it. 

I know what I'm trying to say. I think if you have a preference, for me its best not to know, as I know I won't get used to the idea, I'll just be thining what I would have liked and looked at litle dresses and things. So for me its best not to know for sure, although I really really believe this is a boy. Its my last as I don't carry well, so whatever it is I can't change and I'm sure this time next yr I won't want to change a thing and neither will you guys x


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