# Anyone else having trouble giving up alcohol?



## Phantom

OH and I are so used to having some drinks in the evening. I had no idea it would be so hard to give up. He's still drinking and I just sit here and watch. I feel bored and like I'm missing out. I just want to have some wine with him and chat, you know? 

Urgh, I had no idea this would be so difficult for me. Is it too much to ask OH to cut down on the drinking? He just got 26 bottles of wine made. It's killing me.


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## PeanutBean

I don't drink much anyway so have no problems really except that I had a period of craving alcohol! DH doesn't drink much either these days but he is a slightly bigger drinker than me. I expect him not to drink generally and I think that's totally reasonable. You're making sacrifices to grow the baby which is made by both of you so if you are struggling he has a responsibility to support you in whatever way helps.

There is been recent excellent quality research suggesting low alcohol use doesn't cause problems. There are quite a lot of pregnant women who have an occasional drink. If you are drinking occasionally you could always fix a regular time for a sit down with your OH. If you're not drinking at all I would definitely ask him to cut back.


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## Weeplin

I don't think its unreasonable at all to ask your oh to stop drinking, at least in front of you. I didn't even have to ask my OH he just said he didn't want to drink in front of me because it isn't fair which it isn't.

I'm not sure about how much alcohol your allowed to drink whilst pregnant because I quit everything bad and I figure it's only 9 months and its for the best of my baby. I have quit alcohol (I too enjoyed a glass of wine most evenings), caffeine and I also quit smoking cold turkey. 

That said I am looking forward to a glass of wine after the baby is born, I'm going to such a cheap date haha! I would talk to your OH about how you feel, he probably just isn't realising.

Hope it gets sorted hon


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## Phantom

Thank you ladies. I do want him to cut back on the drinking. It seems only fair since I have to make sacrifices. I don't really know how to approach the subject though since he got SOOO much alcohol for Christmas. I keep giving him hints that "it'll keep" but he doesn't get it.


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## kanga

I don't have experience of this but maybe talk to you oh. explain you both need to cut back for the babys sake and reign in the drinking. Sounds like you were both on a slippery slope. You got off while you could but maybe your dh will keep slipping unless you both change things now. gl xxxxxxxxxxx


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## pollywolly123

I dont miss it too much yet ... ask me after the new year!


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## ClaireMuir123

I used to be a big drinker but after I had my son no-one seemed to think it was appropriate to ask me on nights out once I was a Mum. I found it a bit tough without alcohol in my 1st pregnancy but never once did I think about having a drink. This time round I'm not missing it at all (except when I forget I'm pregnant and think of pouring a wee southern comfort lol)

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask your partner to stop drinking so much, it's not healthy for a start and if it's something you done together then maybe he just doesn't realise? Talk to him about it xxx


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## Katie Tattie

kanga said:


> I don't have experience of this but maybe talk to you oh. explain you both need to cut back for the babys sake and reign in the drinking. Sounds like you were both on a slippery slope. You got off while you could but maybe your dh will keep slipping unless you both change things now. gl xxxxxxxxxxx

Why are they on a slippery slope? This member hasn't said she is still drinking hence the post. And even if she was still drinking shes not said that she or her partner drink a massive amount. It could be just a glass an evening before she was pregnant which I don't think justifies being told you are on a 'slippery slope'. Does that mean all Italians/French/Spanish need to go to AA meetings?

I am certainly not an alcoholic or even a heavy drinker but used to enjoy a glass or two (or three he he) with my DH on a weekend and I admit I am missing it. Merely saying that you miss it does not mean that you are close to being an alcoholic! Jeezze! 

You'll get over it love, you're only 5 weeks so its all pretty new and it can be a complete lifestyle change. You can still have a glass a week or so with your OH after first tri. Thats what I've done, I'm 19 weeks and have had 2 glasses of red so far and have not felt guilty in the slightest!


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## Phantom

Thank you! I was beginning to feel like I was the only one! haha I imagine it will get easier because like you said this is a big change at the moment. I'll have to get used to it slowly. It's not like I want to get drunk, it's just odd pouring OH a glass of wine and grabbing a water for myself. I don't even like water! :dohh: I'm dreading new years. We have a party to go to and I will definitely feel awkward because I'm a very shy person.


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## Kiddo

I really don't think it's unreasonable to ask your OH to at least cut down on his drinking while you're pregnant.

I've taken to making myself a hot chocolate or something instead of pouring a glass of wine.


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## Phantom

Kiddo said:


> I really don't think it's unreasonable to ask your OH to at least cut down on his drinking while you're pregnant.
> 
> I've taken to making myself a hot chocolate or something instead of pouring a glass of wine.

That's a good idea. I bought some tea so maybe I'll try that instead. Way better than water!


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## babyloulou

I really missed it at the beginning- but it has got loads easier as I've gone along and I was a very regular drinker! I am looking forward to bubs being here though so I can have a bottle of wine! :haha:


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## kanga

Katie Tattie said:


> kanga said:
> 
> 
> I don't have experience of this but maybe talk to you oh. explain you both need to cut back for the babys sake and reign in the drinking. Sounds like you were both on a slippery slope. You got off while you could but maybe your dh will keep slipping unless you both change things now. gl xxxxxxxxxxx
> 
> Why are they on a slippery slope? This member hasn't said she is still drinking hence the post. And even if she was still drinking shes not said that she or her partner drink a massive amount. It could be just a glass an evening before she was pregnant which I don't think justifies being told you are on a 'slippery slope'. Does that mean all Italians/French/Spanish need to go to AA meetings?
> 
> I am certainly not an alcoholic or even a heavy drinker but used to enjoy a glass or two (or three he he) with my DH on a weekend and I admit I am missing it. Merely saying that you miss it does not mean that you are close to being an alcoholic! Jeezze!
> 
> You'll get over it love, you're only 5 weeks so its all pretty new and it can be a complete lifestyle change. You can still have a glass a week or so with your OH after first tri. Thats what I've done, I'm 19 weeks and have had 2 glasses of red so far and have not felt guilty in the slightest!Click to expand...

I'm sorry you took offence at my post to Phantom. I'm not looking for an argument.

The title is that the poster is 'having trouble giving up alcohol'. I don't know about you but I haven't seen many posts saying 'I'm having trouble giving up pate, blue vein cheese, raw steaks, please advise'. 

You are quite defensive on this topic, interesting. I'll step out now as my advice is not welcome.


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## Phantom

Have you ever thought that maybe more people don't post about giving up drinking because they're afraid to get judged by people taking it the wrong way? Just something to consider.


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## polo_princess

:hugs: to you, i was in the same situation when i fell PG, i used to go through a bottle of wine most nights a week and my OH continued to drink at the same level throughout.

I substituted alcohol for goodies, sweets and scrummy foods and i soon wasnt bothered about the alcohol at all. Try it!!


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## Lunaty

I agree, I do miss the odd glass of wine thoguh ive never been a regular drinker..
However if my DH drinks i do feel kinda jealous that I cant join in haha

What i found that worked for me is to get some nice bottles of Lemon, Lime & Bitters.. it feels like your holding a drink but no alcohol involved!


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## ShanandBoc

You could try some non alcoholic wine, and drink it out of a wine glass so u feel ur not missing out as much?

Ill admit i found it tough to begin with and missed drinking also, its early days yet and u will forget about it soon enough the more ur baby grows :) I went through my entire pregnancy without a drop, after a while i started looking at it as a positive. Good chance for a detox!! Never hurt anyone thats for sure x


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## pinkpolkadot

I think I'm going to struggle a bit with this too as DH and I like to sit and chat with some wine/beer and we also go out with friends a lot so things are going to change a lot for us! I'm sure I will get used to it though and maybe we can replace some of those nights out/nights in with a drink with other activities like meals, films etc...

I had my first taste of what's to come stayng sober last night at a NYE party the very same day we found out!


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## AuntBug

I miss a nice medium rare filet along with my glass of cab. Oh well, it would probably be nasty to throw up anyway :shrug:


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## SugarFairy

lol AuntBug - a good reason not to then heehee

My DH said he'd give up alcohol except on nights out with his mates but has he hell!! He's still drinking most nights and really peeing me off. I would LOVE a can of Fosters right about now! i don't think its at all unreasonable to ask your man to not drink in front of you, especially if its something that used to be part of your routine together


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## KatieB

SugarFairy said:


> lol AuntBug - a good reason not to then heehee
> 
> My DH said he'd give up alcohol except on nights out with his mates but has he hell!! He's still drinking most nights and really peeing me off. I would LOVE a can of Fosters right about now! i don't think its at all unreasonable to ask your man to not drink in front of you, especially if its something that used to be part of your routine together

It's not quite the same SugarFairy, but I have been having mad cravings for beer since about 20 weeks and have taken to drinking Becks Blue which is alcohol free and it tastes really nice (I think). My OH has been enjoying the booze at Christmas and he said he'd cut down too, has he hell! :growlmad: x


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## rayasunshine

A glass of wine a week in the begining doesn't hurt the baby. Even a glass of wine every few nights is fine in the second tri. it's even been proven to be healthy for the baby. Honestly, there aren't many things you have to cut out of your diet when you're pregnant, just limit your consumption. I don't see people worrying about all the junk food they eat while pregnant so why worry about some sushi, soft cheese, rare meat, wine or coffee when people are gaining 50+ pounds during pregnancy which can't help them or their baby at all. No offense is meant to anyone just wanted to share my viewpoint on the subject.


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## SugarFairy

KatieB said:


> SugarFairy said:
> 
> 
> lol AuntBug - a good reason not to then heehee
> 
> My DH said he'd give up alcohol except on nights out with his mates but has he hell!! He's still drinking most nights and really peeing me off. I would LOVE a can of Fosters right about now! i don't think its at all unreasonable to ask your man to not drink in front of you, especially if its something that used to be part of your routine together
> 
> It's not quite the same SugarFairy, but I have been having mad cravings for beer since about 20 weeks and have taken to drinking Becks Blue which is alcohol free and it tastes really nice (I think). My OH has been enjoying the booze at Christmas and he said he'd cut down too, has he hell! :growlmad: xClick to expand...

Becks Blue. Thanks for the tip. I'll keep an eye out for it :flower:


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## ShanandBoc

rayasunshine said:


> A glass of wine a week in the begining doesn't hurt the baby. Even a glass of wine every few nights is fine in the second tri. it's even been proven to be healthy for the baby. Honestly, there aren't many things you have to cut out of your diet when you're pregnant, just limit your consumption. I don't see people worrying about all the junk food they eat while pregnant so why worry about some sushi, soft cheese, rare meat, wine or coffee when people are gaining 50+ pounds during pregnancy which can't help them or their baby at all. No offense is meant to anyone just wanted to share my viewpoint on the subject.

Each to their own but i dont agree with this. The first weeks are the most crucial for development and i wouldnt risk a single drop getting to a developing fetus. A small amount for us can be alot for them.

Alcohol is a drug and theres no need to consume any of it in order for your baby to be 'healthy'


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## Noodlejuice

I found it difficult (and for the benefit of some posters who seem to be a little hung up on semantics and who have decided that "difficult" constitutes having some kind of an addiction issue - I'm not an alcoholic! :rofl:), more from the social side of things that anything else. My two kids are with their Dad every other weekend so, until I developed a bump the size of a small planet, OH and I would still go out together with friends on a Friday night...and there's only so many J2O's/appletizers you can drink! I gave up smoking at the same time and that too made nights out feel very weird (and I can't deny that I'm still craving right now).

I've had a few sips of OH's wine during this pregnancy and have taken to smelling his beer when he has a bottle (and on Christmas day I had the most diluted wine spritzer in the history of spritzers :rofl:) but other than that I've relied on having a wide variety of non-alcoholic drinks around the house...especially ones that I can drink from a wine glass, so I can at least try to fool myself! Apparently you can get non-alcoholic pear cider too, if only I'd known about this earlier in my pregnancy...I might have got through with my fingernails intact :winkwink:

It does get easier, though - and imagine the treat you get after bubs is born; I'm planning a lovely glass of Baileys as a belated Christmas present to myself :thumbup:

xxx


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## Tiff

I found it difficult too hunny! :hugs:

Claire was a surprise :blush: and tbh I hadn't planned on getting pregnant and had been looking forward to a summer of patios, drinks with frilly umbrellas in them and the like... and then to make it worse I started to crave beer! :dohh: I didn't have any but I'd sniff whomever was having some around me. :haha: I don't even want to think what other people thought of me while doing that but to me it was better than drinking it.

I think I had a sip or two of champagne at a friends wedding that summer, and I immediately felt guilty. I dunno, there wasn't anything in champagne/wine/beer that is actually beneficial to the baby (that I know of!) that I can't get from drinking water or juice. When she was born it didn't look like she had eyelashes and you know? I immediately went back to that two sips of champagne I had and actually had a minor freak out thinking that those were forming while I had the sips and I damaged her somehow! :rofl:

In my books it wasn't worth the potential guilt that I did something to her. But to each their own and I do think that a small glass a week isn't going to hurt anyone. But it does get easier! Not to mention now that the holidays are over there isn't as much of an emphasis on having a drink as there is surrounding Christmas and New Years.

:hugs:


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## Phantom

It's been easier the last day or 2 because OH is sick and doesn't want to drink. I think it's him drinking in front of me that bothers me the most. I hate to say it but I hope he stays sick for a while. :blush:


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## hanelei

Phantom said:


> It's not like I want to get drunk, it's just odd pouring OH a glass of wine and grabbing a water for myself. I don't even like water!

It doesn't have to be water, that is only going to make you feel really deprived. My husband likes a beer or glass of wine after work most days and I'm not going to ask him not to have it, but I have lemon, lime and bitters, ginger ale, tonic and lime, sparkling grape juice or alcohol free beer- we aren't restricted to water!

If I were you I'd get him to pour his own wine though :flower:


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## hanelei

rayasunshine said:


> A glass of wine a week in the begining doesn't hurt the baby. Even a glass of wine every few nights is fine in the second tri. it's even been proven to be healthy for the baby. Honestly, there aren't many things you have to cut out of your diet when you're pregnant, just limit your consumption. I don't see people worrying about all the junk food they eat while pregnant so why worry about some sushi, soft cheese, rare meat, wine or coffee when people are gaining 50+ pounds during pregnancy which can't help them or their baby at all. No offense is meant to anyone just wanted to share my viewpoint on the subject.

It has not been proven conclusively that some alcohol consumption at any stage of pregnancy doesn't hurt the baby, and certainly not that it's healthy for the baby! (Or can you provide a link to a study which actually claims that it's healthy?)

The reason to worry about soft cheese, sushi, ham etc is listeria poisoning, and it's not about moderation either- although relatively rare, just one contaminated sandwich is all it takes to contract listeria. Junk food on the other hand, while not so good nutrition-wise, is not known to potentially cause miscarriages or brain damage, so those are quite different things you are talking about.


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## Tiff

There was a listeria outbreak here while I was pregnant. Crazy how many foods were affected, even Subway and whatnot had to throw out their meats! Goes to show it can happen anywhere I suppose.

My DF gave up drinking while I was pregnant too. There were only a few instances where he did, one was for a friends Buck n' Doe (we had just found out and hadn't told anyone yet) and the other was for another friend's bachelor party. It definitely would've been harder on me to watch him drink all the time and me not be able to.


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## NewMummyx

I was fine up until Christmas when i gave in and had 2 flute glasses of champagne :blush:

I was a miserable bitch at NY too as im so used to having a few drinks on special occasions or at the weekend, but i had my scan on the 29th of Dec and bubs is healthy and happy, so that has kept me sane lol, oh and the non alcoholic wine too!

I also want to breastfeed so that will limit how often i drink but i will be expressing anyway so OH doesnt miss out on bonding time with the wee one :p


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## rayasunshine

hanelei said:


> rayasunshine said:
> 
> 
> A glass of wine a week in the begining doesn't hurt the baby. Even a glass of wine every few nights is fine in the second tri. it's even been proven to be healthy for the baby. Honestly, there aren't many things you have to cut out of your diet when you're pregnant, just limit your consumption. I don't see people worrying about all the junk food they eat while pregnant so why worry about some sushi, soft cheese, rare meat, wine or coffee when people are gaining 50+ pounds during pregnancy which can't help them or their baby at all. No offense is meant to anyone just wanted to share my viewpoint on the subject.
> 
> It has not been proven conclusively that some alcohol consumption at any stage of pregnancy doesn't hurt the baby, and certainly not that it's healthy for the baby! (Or can you provide a link to a study which actually claims that it's healthy?)
> 
> The reason to worry about soft cheese, sushi, ham etc is listeria poisoning, and it's not about moderation either- although relatively rare, just one contaminated sandwich is all it takes to contract listeria. Junk food on the other hand, while not so good nutrition-wise, is not known to potentially cause miscarriages or brain damage, so those are quite different things you are talking about.Click to expand...

Here is a link to a study showing that LIGHT drinking during pregnancy is honestly not a problem. Now, heavy drinking or getting drunk during pregnancy is very wrong and is potentially threatening to your child's life but a drink once in a while isn't a problem. 

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/10/101006085242.htm 

"Children born to light drinkers were 30% less likely to have behavioural problems than children whose mothers did not drink during pregnancy."

As for the problem with contaminated foods, if you heat most of those things it kills the bacteria. ANY food could have live threatening bacteria in it...does that mean we should stop eating for fear of getting food poisoning or an illness?

And while eating a bunch of junk while pregnant may not cause miscarriage or brain damage it can cause an overweight baby, it can cause you to have problems during labor possibly causing the baby to have problems, and it can cause your baby to crave sugary things while the grow up. And honestly have you read the back of a bag of potato chips recently? Over half the crap in junk food is unpronounceable and when you research that stuff you can't pronounce some of the side effects are pretty scary.


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## PeanutBean

I mentioned this study on page 1. It's a very good study but the authors are tentative about drawing conclusions over the potential benefits from maternal drinking. It was pretty conclusive over lack of negative effects though, but is the first study of its kind so replication is needed to add weight.

On the junk food side, got to say I grew my son on salt and vinegar crisps as it's all I could stomach and he is the healthiest eater I've ever known! :haha:


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## Phantom

Thank you for posting the link to that article. It's very interesting. And its from a legitimate journal too.


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## PeanutBean

Phantom said:


> Thank you for posting the link to that article. It's very interesting. And its from a legitimate journal too.

There is a lot of excellent research coming out of work with the Millenium Cohort. They have the unique position of being able to do some true longitudinal work which most research grants won't cover and with a sufficiently large sample size together with good documentation of many lifestyle variables. This is why it's currently the only study of it's kind. It's not yet been accepted into UK health guidelines but it's certainly shaken things up a bit.


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## hanelei

rayasunshine said:


> hanelei said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> rayasunshine said:
> 
> 
> A glass of wine a week in the begining doesn't hurt the baby. Even a glass of wine every few nights is fine in the second tri. it's even been proven to be healthy for the baby. Honestly, there aren't many things you have to cut out of your diet when you're pregnant, just limit your consumption. I don't see people worrying about all the junk food they eat while pregnant so why worry about some sushi, soft cheese, rare meat, wine or coffee when people are gaining 50+ pounds during pregnancy which can't help them or their baby at all. No offense is meant to anyone just wanted to share my viewpoint on the subject.
> 
> It has not been proven conclusively that some alcohol consumption at any stage of pregnancy doesn't hurt the baby, and certainly not that it's healthy for the baby! (Or can you provide a link to a study which actually claims that it's healthy?)
> 
> The reason to worry about soft cheese, sushi, ham etc is listeria poisoning, and it's not about moderation either- although relatively rare, just one contaminated sandwich is all it takes to contract listeria. Junk food on the other hand, while not so good nutrition-wise, is not known to potentially cause miscarriages or brain damage, so those are quite different things you are talking about.Click to expand...
> 
> Here is a link to a study showing that LIGHT drinking during pregnancy is honestly not a problem. Now, heavy drinking or getting drunk during pregnancy is very wrong and is potentially threatening to your child's life but a drink once in a while isn't a problem.
> 
> https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/10/101006085242.htm
> 
> "Children born to light drinkers were 30% less likely to have behavioural problems than children whose mothers did not drink during pregnancy."
> 
> As for the problem with contaminated foods, if you heat most of those things it kills the bacteria. ANY food could have live threatening bacteria in it...does that mean we should stop eating for fear of getting food poisoning or an illness?
> 
> And while eating a bunch of junk while pregnant may not cause miscarriage or brain damage it can cause an overweight baby, it can cause you to have problems during labor possibly causing the baby to have problems, and it can cause your baby to crave sugary things while the grow up. And honestly have you read the back of a bag of potato chips recently? Over half the crap in junk food is unpronounceable and when you research that stuff you can't pronounce some of the side effects are pretty scary.Click to expand...

Yes, I was already aware of that study, but these studies don't conclusively "prove" anything, they only show what happened in their study. I'm sure you also know that correlation does not necessarily equal causation, and it has been pointed out in articles discussing that study that there are quite likely to be other lifestyle factors with mothers who drink lightly that contribute to the lower incidence of behavioural problems, it is by no means proven that this was a direct consequence of their alcohol consumption. While I agree that light alcohol consumption is most likely not a problem, I think it is going too far to say that drinking occasionally is actually healthy for the baby based on that one study.

You are also correct that all foods can contain bacteria, however there are definitely foods that are more likely to cause food poisoning than others, are there not? The fact is that people have lost babies due to listeria poisoning, so while there might be a very low risk, there is still a risk, so people should be aware of it and not just dismiss the warnings as a load of crap that they don't need to pay any attention to, which you seemed to be be advocating in your first post here- you didn't mention heating at that time.

I actually eat ham and occasionally raw fish myself, but I realise that I am taking a risk so I do it very selectively (e.g. avoiding food that has obviously been sitting in display cases for hours already), although interestingly enough here in Japan pregnant women are not warned to avoid these foods. I have a lot of faith in Japanese standards of food hygiene and preparation though that I wouldn't necessarily have in other countries, as well as it being winter so the risks of high bacteria levels relatively low- I avoided them completely in first tri when it was still very hot.

All I am saying is that the warnings we are given are given for a reason, and if people choose to ignore them, they should be aware of the risks, and also to beware of over-extrapolating with statements like "it's healthy for the baby to drink occasionally", which even the people who did the study are not claiming.


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## ShanandBoc

At the end of the day, the recommendation is to abstain from alcohol completely as they are unsure of exactly how much affects a unborn baby.

To me, that risk isnt worth it for the sake of a few drinks, its only 9 months after all x


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## Noodlejuice

The original poster wasn't suggesting that she was going to drink anything at all, and she hasn't mentioned once that she's even thought about filling herself full of sushi or soft cheese - if people want (yet another) debate about drinking alcohol or cutting out certain foods during pregnancy maybe a new thread could be started so the original poster can continue to receive advice on how she can feel better about not being able to have a drink with her OH in the evening? :thumbup:


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## s_johnson

I was a HUGE drinker before I got pregnant. Im super happy I found out very early in my pregnancy that I was exspecting. 
As soon as I found out I have had no problem not drinking. It was just natural.

Now, I went to a friends house and they were drinking on christmas and that was hard on me. I mean its not hard giving up drinking, but watching other people smash down bottles of wine is not fun. I would ask him to sip somewhere eles in the house.


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## sparklydee

I thought I would find it really hard as I used to drink fairly regularly at least a couple of glasses of wine a night, but actually the taste of wine makes me want to be sick! My OH has been totally supportive in everything I've cut down on. I was always more of a drinker out of the two of us anyway, so stopping drinking altogether has been fairly easy. 

I'm still a smoker, but I smoke a pack of 20 in a WEEK so it's 2 or 3 a day. I tried to quit smoking when I was pregnant with both of my last two, but I turned into such a hormone monster and ended up with such high blood pressure that the midwife actually said "just have a cigarette!" SO because I still have the odd cigarette during the day, I wanted to make that the "only" evil! I've cut down from 20 cups of coffee to NONE - pure decaf, no alcohol since the weekend I found out I was pregnant, no fizzy drinks and I'm exercising and eating properly.

I'm not judging, but please please for the sake of your little one, don't have any more alcohol. It has such a dramatic effect on your unborn child. I'm not usually a soap box person and I'll say it once and then go run and hide because I don't want to upset anyone!! ALL fetuses have a startle response in the womb which naturally stops around 18 weeks or so ... except in fetuses of mothers who drank. There has been recent research that showed that the effect can continue after birth as well - possibly related to low achievement. The research needs to be repeated to be proven, but even the chance of an effect on the baby was enough for me.

I got in some alcohol free bubbly over new year (I think it is actually 0.5%) and it tasted really nice, gave me the same bubbles in my nose, I drank it out of an iced champagne glass and for all intent and purpose it did the same job and I felt sociable too!

I think your OH could be much more supportive in at least cutting back on his drinking while you are pregnant - maybe just on the weekends and make sure you get yourself something nice and tasty (alco-free) ... mebbe say that the 26 bottles he bought should be put away to wet the baby's head with after birth (and after breastfeeding!)

PLEASE don't think I'm judging - I'm not one to interfere in anybody else's choices ... just if my opinion is sought - I'll give it!

Love & Glitter 
Dee x


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## Mollykins

Phantom said:


> OH and I are so used to having some drinks in the evening. I had no idea it would be so hard to give up. He's still drinking and I just sit here and watch. I feel bored and like I'm missing out. I just want to have some wine with him and chat, you know?
> 
> Urgh, I had no idea this would be so difficult for me. Is it too much to ask OH to cut down on the drinking? He just got 26 bottles of wine made. It's killing me.

May I offer a suggestion? I found out (quite by accident) with my second DD that a drink of cranberry juice and sprite/7-up tasted like a wine spritzer. :haha: I feel naughty while drinking it but of course it was fine and it was very good. 

Congrats on your pregnancy love. :hugs:


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## Cattia

I have the odd glass of Bucks Fizz if I fancy it. It's only 4% alcohol.


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## flubdub

sparklydee said:


> I thought I would find it really hard as I used to drink fairly regularly at least a couple of glasses of wine a night, but actually the taste of wine makes me want to be sick! My OH has been totally supportive in everything I've cut down on. I was always more of a drinker out of the two of us anyway, so stopping drinking altogether has been fairly easy.
> 
> I'm still a smoker, but I smoke a pack of 20 in a WEEK so it's 2 or 3 a day. I tried to quit smoking when I was pregnant with both of my last two, but I turned into such a hormone monster and ended up with such high blood pressure that the midwife actually said "just have a cigarette!" SO because I still have the odd cigarette during the day, I wanted to make that the "only" evil! I've cut down from 20 cups of coffee to NONE - pure decaf, no alcohol since the weekend I found out I was pregnant, no fizzy drinks and I'm exercising and eating properly.
> 
> I'm not judging, but please please for the sake of your little one, *don't have any more alcohol*. It has such a dramatic effect on your unborn child. I'm not usually a soap box person and I'll say it once and then go run and hide because I don't want to upset anyone!! ALL fetuses have a startle response in the womb which naturally stops around 18 weeks or so ... except in fetuses of mothers who drank. There has been recent research that showed that the effect can continue after birth as well - possibly related to low achievement. The research needs to be repeated to be proven, but even the chance of an effect on the baby was enough for me.
> 
> I got in some alcohol free bubbly over new year (I think it is actually 0.5%) and it tasted really nice, gave me the same bubbles in my nose, I drank it out of an iced champagne glass and for all intent and purpose it did the same job and I felt sociable too!
> 
> I think your OH could be much more supportive in at least cutting back on his drinking while you are pregnant - maybe just on the weekends and make sure you get yourself something nice and tasty (alco-free) ... mebbe say that the 26 bottles he bought should be put away to wet the baby's head with after birth (and after breastfeeding!)
> 
> PLEASE don't think I'm judging - I'm not one to interfere in anybody else's choices ... just if my opinion is sought - I'll give it!
> 
> Love & Glitter
> Dee x

I think thats a bit much, when you just said yourself that you're still smoking. Especially now they are starting to say smoking is just as damaging for baby as Cocaine! She may very well turn around to you and tell you to stop smoking!


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## oread

It was particularly hard for me not drinking over the holidays when my whole extended family got together and they always have a bunch of fabulous wine and delicious cocktails. I found it helped to get myself "pretend" alcohol so I drank sparkling cider, cranberry juice with sprite, and non-alcoholic beer. It wasn't a true replacement, but I didn't feel as left out.

I also had a glass of wine with Xmas dinner and took sips of my husband's wine throughout our vacation because I really love the taste and it was nice to be able to compare the wines. All this sensationalist fear-mongering over having a single drink got to to ask my midwife about it and she said although the official recommendation is to abstain from alcohol there is really no reason to worry about having the occasional drink.


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## Cattia

flubdub said:


> sparklydee said:
> 
> 
> I thought I would find it really hard as I used to drink fairly regularly at least a couple of glasses of wine a night, but actually the taste of wine makes me want to be sick! My OH has been totally supportive in everything I've cut down on. I was always more of a drinker out of the two of us anyway, so stopping drinking altogether has been fairly easy.
> 
> I'm still a smoker, but I smoke a pack of 20 in a WEEK so it's 2 or 3 a day. I tried to quit smoking when I was pregnant with both of my last two, but I turned into such a hormone monster and ended up with such high blood pressure that the midwife actually said "just have a cigarette!" SO because I still have the odd cigarette during the day, I wanted to make that the "only" evil! I've cut down from 20 cups of coffee to NONE - pure decaf, no alcohol since the weekend I found out I was pregnant, no fizzy drinks and I'm exercising and eating properly.
> 
> I'm not judging, but please please for the sake of your little one, *don't have any more alcohol*. It has such a dramatic effect on your unborn child. I'm not usually a soap box person and I'll say it once and then go run and hide because I don't want to upset anyone!! ALL fetuses have a startle response in the womb which naturally stops around 18 weeks or so ... except in fetuses of mothers who drank. There has been recent research that showed that the effect can continue after birth as well - possibly related to low achievement. The research needs to be repeated to be proven, but even the chance of an effect on the baby was enough for me.
> 
> I got in some alcohol free bubbly over new year (I think it is actually 0.5%) and it tasted really nice, gave me the same bubbles in my nose, I drank it out of an iced champagne glass and for all intent and purpose it did the same job and I felt sociable too!
> 
> I think your OH could be much more supportive in at least cutting back on his drinking while you are pregnant - maybe just on the weekends and make sure you get yourself something nice and tasty (alco-free) ... mebbe say that the 26 bottles he bought should be put away to wet the baby's head with after birth (and after breastfeeding!)
> 
> PLEASE don't think I'm judging - I'm not one to interfere in anybody else's choices ... just if my opinion is sought - I'll give it!
> 
> Love & Glitter
> Dee x
> 
> The startle reflex begins at 12 weeks and continues until the baby is 6 months old, in fact it's one of the things they check for at the 6 week check so I'm a little dubious about that research.Click to expand...


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## PeanutBean

^ Yes i'd quite like to see a link to the abstract.


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## Cattia

Actually I just googled it and seizures ARE a features of fetal alcohol syndrome, but the research I read suggested that this is only prevelant in alcoholics and that in a study of over 40,000 women there was no incidence of it in women who drank under 8.5 units of alcohol per week. Now I am really NOT suggesting that we should all drink like fish but I do think it's important to be accurate and not alarmist about these matters. I feel incredibly guilty that I got really quite drunk before I found out I was pregnant (I was going out for the night and I actually took a pg test just to make sure. It was negative and didn't show up positive until over a week and a half later). However having researched this, whilst it was not the greatest thing I could have done, actually the chances of doing any damage are pretty slim.


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## ShanandBoc

Alcohol is still a drug and its unnecessary to consume whilst pregnant so i still dont see why anyone would risk not giving their baby the best start possible???


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## purple_rain

I think within a few months you'll not find it a problem. Me and hubby used to go out every weekend. It was really hard at the start but then it was just normal not to drink and I had a good reason too. 

Christmas was hard but it was probably easier for me as I only had about 6 weeks to go. 

I would be finding it harder though if hubby was having a drink every night, i still found it difficult when he had a few at weekend!


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## JohnsPrincess

I find that I do miss it a little bit, but it's not hard. I don't Crave it as I thought I would.


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## LittleBoo

I'm only six weeks so not missing alcohol yet, that said I never do, gave up heavily drinking when I was 16, but still enjoy the odd Baileys :) well done for not giving into cravings, I've known lots of ladies who, even if they didn't drink before start craving a glass of wine! Plus, I know on the grand scale of things, 9 months isn't that long, but when you're hormonal, tired and just want to relax, it can be pretty damn tempting :)

I think asking your OH to limit his drinking is a good idea, end of the day, you're doing the hard work, why should he get to drink when you're the one growing a person? Lots of luck hun x


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## Phantom

It's a lot easier now, I'm not finding it too difficult anymore. My friend has stopped drinking with me (isn't she sweet?!). OH and I picked up a book on the weekend and I showed him a special guide for dads to be and the page I opened said "stop drinking, or at least in front of your girl" in bold letters. He didn't want that book and put it back. :dohh:


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## LittleBoo

Aww hun slap him over the back of the head with that book, see if that gets the message through! :D

I'm lucky, my OH has never been a big drinker, neither has his family, it's more smoking that's the problem with us  he's being nice about it though and smokes away from me, he knows it's hard for me to give up and is trying his hardest! Problems will arise when my nausea reaches it's peak, can't stand the smell of smoke so will be making him change his clothes after every smoke :D


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## LadyHutch

Hrm....


I am a recovered alcoholic...7 years. If you want some help, try AA. You might not be an alcoholic, but AA is for anyone with a desire to stop drinking. There is no time limit on how long you want to stop or limit on how much you drink. It is just there to help you stop if you want to.

I am not saying you are an alcoholic by any means, but if you are struggling to stop, give it a go. It can help YOU stop if that is what you want. It won't help your OH unless he wants to stop too. But it sounds like you want to, and are struggling to do so, so maybe it wouldn't hurt to at least get some information.

Gimme a message if you want to know more, or if I can help in any way. For me, it was the only way I could stop.


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## Phantom

LittleBoo said:


> Aww hun slap him over the back of the head with that book, see if that gets the message through! :D

haha :laugh2:


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## pinkpolkadot

After initially posting here that I though I would struggle, I am finding it a lot easier than I thought I would :thumbup: TBH I feel so sick I am not in the slightest bit tempted by the beer and wine that looks at me every time I open the fridge!

My DH has also decided to stop drinking in the house and only drink when we go out (partly to help me and partly to shift some weight) so this is also helping loads!

I must admit that when we went our for our mates 30th at the weekend it was a long night for me but I managed and it wasn't nearly as bad as I had thought it would be :winkwink:


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## Szaffi

I really enjoy drinking good wine with dinner and in the summer an occasional drink of beer. 

I found it hard with No. 1. to abstain, and even after, only occasionally being able to drink very small amounts due to BFing. (and I got pregnant quickly again with No2)

These are my rules and tricks:

- I don't drink anything at all in first trimester
- 2nd and 3rd tri - an occasional small glass of wine with a fancy dinner is ok, as long as it's not more than twice a week
- I sometimes drink small amounts of 2% alcohol apple cider from a champagne glass and pretend that it's champagne.
- I make myself once in a while a new type of fancy non-alcoholic cocktail and dress it up pretty and sip it slowly.
- I avoid foods that I usually love having wine with (olives, foi gras, steak)
- after delivery, with BFing, you can have some alcohol, just need to learn to time it and pump some milk so you'll have something handy.

OH is very nice though - he's not drinking much either when I'm there.

I'm not saying though that I'm not looknig forward to having my guilt-free glasses of wine once this babe is born and we're through with the part where she BFs ever hour. I also miss my sushi!


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