# 4 day old, first night home a nightmare, won't sleep in m. basket & BFing too much??



## Violinnem

First night home from the hospital last night... Wow. 

Any tips/hints/advice on getting a 4 days old newborn to sleep in his Moses basket rather than HAVING to be skin to skin on you ALL NIGHT then please let me know! All advice v welcome! *

Finally got him to sleep somewhere other than me by feeding him til he goes to sleep and then putting him next to me (next to me on the sofa cushion where I was feeding him, if I get up to try and move him to the basket he screams) and keeping my hand on him so he doesn't wake himself by up by hitting himself on the face and feels a bit more secure. If he goes anywhere further away from me he screams bloody murder.*

Ive slept a maximum total of 5 hours since waking up on Friday morning to go to the hospital for induction. He was born Fri night 22:54 and sleep has been so rare ever since. I'm absolutely shattered.

Also, breastfeeding. He's ALWAYS signalling that he wants to feed when he's awake and has had feeds of 5-75 mins every hour since last night. I'd been in hospital for the last 3 days to help establish proper breastfeeding and now he is ALWAYS at it! Is there TOO many feeds he could have? Either way breastfeeding hurts no matter how good the latch, it's always agony. 

Please help!!!!! xxx


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## ArcaneSpark

Sorry things aren't east but stick in there they do improve. A girl posted this in thevBF forum which I found useful!

https://theleakyboob.com/2011/08/baby-explains-normal-newborn-behavior/

:hugs:


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## Chellxx

Have you tried swaddling him? It's the only way I could get my lo to sleep in his crib, that's was at 4 weeks tho as we co-slept for the first 4 weeks.

The breastfeeding does get better, he is just trying to build your supply up, the first few weeks are so hard and I gave up bf as I didn't realise he was tryingto build my supply, I regret giving up bf still so make sure you have a Good support network to keep you going.

I just wanted to reassure you that it does get easier and you will get more sleep soon xx


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## firefly15

:hugs: The constant feeding is totally normal. It's exhausting and you wonder how on earth they could need to feed so much, but they do! It's just how they bring in and establish supply, and honestly, the best thing to do is just allow them to be attached all the time. It's also completey normal to refuse to be put down. I wish I'd known that in advance lol!! We found swaddling was the only way we could get LO to sleep in his moses basket, so might be worth a try?

xxxx


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## Blah11

Sorry but totally normal and what I'd expect for such a brand new baby! Hes been snug inside you for 9 months, its scary to be in the world. You could try swaddling to make him feel a bit more secure.

The feeding thing totally normal, just let him feed as much as he wants. This stage lasts anything up to 6 weeksish then it starts getting a bit easier.


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## patch2006uk

He's 4 days old! 4 days ago, he was fed constantly, never experienced cold, hunger, thirst, lying flat or being a separate being. Give him time to adjust! I think you're expecting a bit too much of a tiny baby tbh. 

Just go with it - feed as often as he wants (which may well be all day and all night - figure out BFing lying down if you can). Hold him if he wants. Look into safe cosleeping, or swaddling if you want him in his own sleep space.

Also have a look through some of these links
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=f...s=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a
Basically humans are born very early developmentally compared to other mammals, so that the head isn't too big to fit through the pelvis. Really, we should gestate for another few months to get LO to a stage where they're ready for life outside the womb. Those first months are very much a transition stage for baby.


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## flump1

the first week or two is the hardest it gets easier i promise! just keep things quiet and low lighting at night, no eye contact or talking at night time and they soon realise the difference between day and night. unfortunately newborns feeding at first can be a little crazy, it is normal and it will settle down quickly. some people find co-sleeping helps but my baby never got on with it so i dont have advise on that, i just kept putting him in his bed if he was really upset i would pick him up, once he settled a bit or fallen asleep i put him back down and just kept doing this until he settled in his bed, if he was just grizzling not really upset i would just keep my hand on him or hold his hand as his bed was right against the side of mine.you soon learn that newborns make ALOT of noise even when they are actually asleep or settling!
i combine fed at first so i dont have too much advise on breastfeeding im afraid, just you sound like your doing an amazing job! Is he definately taking in milk or is he just comfort sucking sometimes? some babies will feed very often but i know sometimes they just want to suck for comfort, maybe someone who breastfed more would be able to give you more advise about this. 
try and rest when you can, dont worry about the housework and take any help thats offered! x


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## loobylou99

I totally understand i felt the same when i had a newborn. LO needs to constantly feed to fill their tiny tummy and to bring your milk in to the levels needed to sustain bf. Try lying down with your pillow away from baby, your arm above him and your legs tucked under him so he cant wriggle up or down. Put a pillow in the small of your back for support and feed like that. You will be able to get some rest that way. I used to feed on the sofa with her on a flat pilow too, so if i wanted to get up when she was asleep i just had to move the pillow! Some might say thats not very safe but it worked for me and i was extra careful so she couldnt roll off or get stuck. It took about 2 weeks before i managed to get her to sleep in her moses properly, you just need to perservere, it will get easier i promise. He needs to be close to you for comfort and reasurance, he is in a brand new world and it must be very confusing to him. Finally, lansinoh nipple cream helped a lot with the pain, it took 2 weeks for my nipples to get used to bf, and all the daydreams about formula disappeared! If you can get past the pain bf is so easy to do you will look back and wonder what all the fuss is about. Congratulations btw. Hth :flower:


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## midori1999

Yep, it's normal, but it can be hard if you'e not expecting it. :hugs:

If you're struggling to sleep as he is feeding so often, could you look into co-sleeping? If done properly (eg. in a bed, next to Mum not in between Mum and Dad) no duvets, firm mattress, no drinking or smoking from parents etc etc) then it is very safe and it's certainly safer than being absolutely exhausted and risking falling asleep accidentally. Even if you can't or don't want to co-sleep then you will probably get more rest feeding laying down on a bed. 

You can't feed your baby too much. It is normal to feed very frequently in the early days as this is how your milk supply is built up. However, feeding very frequently can also be a sign of poor milk transfer (where not enough milk gets from the breast into baby) and feeling very sore or in pain, especially if you have nipple damage, can be a sign of poor attachment, which can cause poor milk transfer and then low supply, so it's worth getting these things checked again by someone who really knows about breastfeeding and that's likely to be a breastfeeding counsellor or a properly qualified (international board certified) lactation consultant. Not all breastfeeding advisors are equal! 

In the meantime, have you tried biological nurturing? You can google for mor einfo/the website. It basically allows your baby to latch himself on and can help get a better and less painful latch.


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## andersondyson

Hi, it will get better but it is so tough at first!

I gave in to letting my LO in my bed just so I could get some sleep.

I moved all pillows out of the way and laid in the middle of the bed and moved duvet too. lay baby close to you but cover with their own blankets.

my baby settled much better like this but its not for everyone!

baby is 2 weeks now and is starting to settle so much better in her moses basket!

feeding is hit and miss, some days she is always on the boob and its frustrating but just enjoy the relaxing time it makes you have xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## kaths101

Yes I think 80% of the bf ladies here with a 4 day old newborn could have written the same thing...I know I did!

Just give things time, your baby will want to be near you, It's natural, I sleft on the sofa for a month solid with my LO sat upright with him sleeping on me like a little monkey, it was the only way we both got any sleep!
(please be aware this in not recommended because of suffocation risks) .. My OH slept on the floor too and we did shifts to stay awake to make sure I didn't smother or drop him!!!

The early days are soooo hard but time really does fly so just do what iu need to to get by!

Regarding breast feeding, just feed on demand... And yes I now that feels like they're constantly hanging off you. Also the pain gets better after a week or so...honest!


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## aliss

Hmmm HUGS.

I remember 4 days - the worst day of my life - it was SO hard. I didn't know newborn behavior and it didn't make sense to me. Spent the night crying and screaming, both of us.

There is no way to tell a 4 day old to sleep alone in their basket. Not going to happen. I learned this the hard way. I went MONTHS without sleeping.

In hindsight, this is what I should have done:

Get into bed, take off your top, lie on your side, and leave your boob out. He is cluster feeding, your milk is coming in (the agony), he is waking up from labour, he is ravenous and is going through a massive growth spurt.

Do what you can to survive. I know it's a shock and tbh probably the hardest week you will ever have in your life. We see babies sleeping in baskets in photos and think that is what newborns are like, what a joke it is. This is the reality. Big hugs :hugs:


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## Zinky

Aww bless ya, this is totally normal. My LO NEVER slept in his moses basket, he hated it with a passion! Co-sleeping was my sleep saviour.


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## kat2504

You have to think about it in primitive evolutionary terms. A newborn baby is a tiny defenseless animal, only 5 days ago he was tucked up safely inside you. His behaviour is all just instincts - he doesn't know he is safe in the 21st century. To a tiny little mammal it is not in his own best interests to allow himself to be separated from you and lie on his own in a basket - the tigers might come and eat him all up. With you he is safe and so it is quite normal he will want to cling to you for dear life.
Swaddling is great, it recreates the snug feeling of the womb, definitely give it a try - he won't wake himself up by flailing his arms and legs about. I have a "woombie" that I got online, it is brilliant for helping him sleep longer at night as his arms are zipped in it so he cant hit himself in the face.


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## chocolala

Oh, if only we were told in antenatal classes what newborns are really like! 

Such a shock to the system, but totally normal. I second what everyone else says, safe co-sleeping and just let baby feed. I don't know about swaddling as I never tried it. Xx


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## pinklightbulb

:hugs: Neither of mine would sleep away from me either, and BFing was awful for the first 6 weeks with Eamon. The pain was enough to make me cry every time he latched for days, and then as soon as one nipple would heal, the other would get cracked and grazed. He spewed blood because they bled so much :( I remember being where you are and am so thankful I got it easier this time.

Sleep is such a precious thing, they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture in some countries. We don't realise how much we need it until it's gone, and we can't think clearly when it's happening, I know. Eamon's NB days are just a blur to me. 

What saved me this time was co-sleeping, honestly, it will save your life once you get the hang of it. A lot of newborns need to be taught to nurse lying down but once they learn it will make your life a lot easier. 

BF mothers are hyperaware of their baby's presence beside them even in sleep, and rarely move an inch when sleeping with baby. No matter how restless a sleeper you were/are, when you co-sleep, you will find that you don't ever get into such a deep sleep that you could harm your baby. (Unless you are under the influence of something.) Nearly all co-sleeping deaths happen when it is practiced incorrectly. Common sense is essential... which most people have, so if you want to sleep, I can't recommend bedsharing enough. 

As for BFing, it will get easier, I promise you this. I took it one day at a time. And then one day, I came out the other side-- I was happy to feed and so grateful I stuck it out. You will be too hon. It's so early in your LO's little life. These days will pass and you will both be OK.


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## aliss

Yeah good one kat, I totally forgot it's been so long, but at 4 days old the MORO REFLEX is sooo strong (google it for more if you have time to read OP but I'm sure you don't), basically a swaddle helps restrain this arm flailing reflex and helps them sleep better, the moro reflex will wake them up instantly. It was restrained in the womb by your stomach.


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## pinklightbulb

Forgot about swaddling :thumbup: Neither of mine would sleep unwrapped either.


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## Amethyste

The first few days i was up 3 hours per feed. She was screaming, i wasnt sure she was latching well. I was upset, OH was worried too ( i know babies pick up on that but it is hard when you are a new mum. Not sure what to advise apart that it gets better.


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## ozzi

Our LO is 8 days old, she was like this for the first few days too, until I started lining her bassinet with the muslin wraps I was using to mop up my breast milk. She settles really well now, as she can always smell me. I would definately recommend giving it a go :) Willow is still waking every couple of hours to feed, but at least I can get an hour here and there without having to hold her.

I would also recommend swaddling, I know Willow settles fairly quickly once she's firmly swaddled. As others have said it makes them feel safe and secure, and stops the startle (moro) reflex from waking her up.

Good luck hun, keep us posted on how you get on :hugs:


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## Irish Eyes

Just go with it! I found co-sleeping was amazing during this time as LO wouldn't be put down anywhere and always wanted to feed. It's perfectly normal and don't think if you let baby be attached to you now that it will always be this way. When my LO was ready, he started sleeping in his basket for naps and now at 7 weeks he also sleeps in there through the night as well. It really helped establish bfing, don't think I could have made it unless we'd co-slept!

I can't imagine how strange it must be for a newborn to go from the womb to suddenly being made to sleep flat out on their backs, took me a while to realise this!


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## Blizzard

I had a slightly different experience. While we were I the hospital he fed and slept like a dream. However when we got home I found he woke a lot more frequently at. iChat and wanted to be held all the time. So I gave up on putting him down, we slept with him either between us (I know, I know) or between me and the wall depending on what boob he was feeding from at the time. The change was miraculous! We all slept really well.

Slowly we started moving away from cosleeping, trying to leave him in the cot for as long as possible each night before I caved and pulled him into bed. Finally last night at 7(ish) weeks he slept in the cot all night until I pulled him into bed for a cuddle at 8 am. He was picked up, fed and put down. If he fussed I stayed close and soothed him with a hand on his chest till he quieted and then I walked away. These days I always put him down dozy so he falls asleep by himself.

It is hard and you have my total sympathy! It will get better. We don't swaddle, and ut's a bit late now, but I wish we had. I think it would have helped a lot.

Xxx


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## Irish Eyes

Blizzard I know it's off topic but I've just noticed you got married on the same day as me and your LO was born 2 days after mine  Bet people made jokes about having a honeymoon baby!


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## jenniferttc1

That was how my life was until he was 6 weeks old and I caved and put him in my bed with me and never looked back after going from 2 hours a day of sleep to 10 hours a night. 
He would not sleep in his bassinet, crib, swing, bouncer. Only in my arms so I had to do it for my sanity. 
Breastfeeding though, its just how often they eat. Neborns can NEVER feed too much from the breast. 
Think of it this way. They were all nice a warm in mommies tummy, and always close by, listening to heartbeat. They are now in the world thats cold, mommy is not always with them, and hungry. Breastfeeding is a great comfort to babies. Nothing like being snuggled in mommies arms, eating and listening to that same heartbeat they have been for the past 9 months. 
Its tough but it will pass. 
Newborns eat alot and they need to. It will help build your supply as baby grows and needs more milk


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## Noelle610

aliss said:


> I remember 4 days - the worst day of my life - it was SO hard. I didn't know newborn behavior and it didn't make sense to me. Spent the night crying and screaming, both of us.

THIS. Exactly my experience. The other ladies have covered the basics, I just wanted to offer my support and hugs. :hugs: At 4 days postpartum, I was a huge mess. Like you, I had barely slept since before my labor. I was depressed and I even felt as if I had made a mistake having a baby - I felt so ill equipped. I had a wonderful pregnancy and having a newborn was a humongous shock to me. I sit here now, with a 2 month old, to tell you it gets better! Some days are hard, yes, but you will find yourself in a routine soon enough. I'm getting to know my little girl and falling in love with her. It took time, though.


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## Twinks

Lol no one could have prepared me for the shock of a newborn! They do breastfeed all the time when they are newborn but it does get easier!! My LO is now almost 8 weeks and boy has he changed so much. He has how own little routine that he does. Feeding is easier, I know why he's crying now. Couldn't differentiate between his cries when he was a newborn at all!! He's also had colic so he had the same cry for tummy hurts and feed. Mine also cries when he is going to sleep! Promise it gets soooo much easier!! For me it was around week 6 where I was like I get this now and have never looked back- being a mummy is awesome!!

Oh thought I'd add- my LO hated his Moses basket and luckily grew out of it length wise by 3 weeks (he's 99th percentile for length and ha daddy is 6ft4!) I put him in his cot bed in our room and never looked back!! He loves to spread out like a star fish when
Sleeping and couldn't do this in the Moses basket. He loves his cot bed!


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## Reechani

I also have a 4 day old DD and the first night home had me in tears. She refused to sleep without being held. At 430am, after finally having enough, I gave in and moved her portable bassinet into our bed between us, put the boppy in it, and propped her on it. It is a tight fit, so there is no way she could fall down and suffocate, and I could even use the very edge of the curve to tuck her feet under and keep her from flopping around like a fish. I had this idea at the very start of the night, but had read the warnings and decided against it out of guilt and fear of potentially having her slip off and smother. However, this method worked like a charm and she slept for 20 minutes before she woke up legitimately for a feeding. The second night, she slept unswaddled And with no boppy, still in her bassinet between us and slept 7 hours straight through the night, lol. The first night is the most horrible due to overstimulation, I think.

I am exclusively formula feeding after giving up on breast feeding pretty much the first day due to several major reasons, so I can't offer any expert advice. However, the first day or two at the hospital, obviously I had no milk, only colostrum and my baby also was very weak at sucking. She nursed for ages and was only getting a few drops at every feeding. Maybe that is the case for your baby, and it eats so often because it isn't getting very much from the feedings. Has your milk come in yet? Mine just did yesterday and i was curious to see if i could manage. I still couldn't get my DD anything from it, nor would my manual pump produce anything. It is way harder for some people to do it, and I've been made to feel like a failure for stopping. However, I'm sticking to what me and DD feel comfortable with and that is formula. Please keep up the good work BF and let baby feed anytime it seems hungry. Im sure it's annoying but at least baby enjoys it!


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