# The truths of ttc being in your mid 30's or older ..........



## lynlouc

So today i went to the docs ,who confirmed that i have just suffered from a very early misscairrage and although she was really nice i couldnt help but feel she was telling me to expect things like this at my age ,weight etc,,,, I had just got myself in a good place reading on here of larger ladies being successfull and older ladies too but now im really disheartened again . Im 34 and a size 18 .......is that really OLD and Really that OBESE that is could stop me from getting a bfp to stick around ???? Apparently i weighed exactly the same 4 years ago when i conceived my dd but now im 4 years older !!!!!!!!!:nope:


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## ocean_pearl

Hugs to you. You are not old!! Plenty of time. I hope you get your BFP soon, sorry for your loss x


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## Ruth2307

lynlouc said:


> So today i went to the docs ,who confirmed that i have just suffered from a very early misscairrage and although she was really nice i couldnt help but feel she was telling me to expect things like this at my age ,weight etc,,,, I had just got myself in a good place reading on here of larger ladies being successfull and older ladies too but now im really disheartened again . Im 34 and a size 18 .......is that really OLD and Really that OBESE that is could stop me from getting a bfp to stick around ???? Apparently i weighed exactly the same 4 years ago when i conceived my dd but now im 4 years older !!!!!!!!!:nope:


No you are not 'really old' or 'really obese' but some of these Drs can certainly make you feel that way! I could tell you some real horror stories about the comments I have had to listen to including 'you are on the heavy side' (that is VERY common or this classic: 'don't think that just because you don't _look_ fat that you _aren't_ fat; if you look at your limbs and even the size of your extremely large hands then it's quite easy for you to hide it quite well.' !!!! I am 5'3" have a BMI of 29, wear size 14 (16 for jeans) - hey I know it's not ideal but I'mnot the obese giant he made me out to be. I nearly swung for him! :growlmad:

I'm really sorry about your loss and I hope you get another BFP again soon. :hugs::hugs:


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## newmama

i'm sorry for your loss :hugs:
i'm 34 myself and will be just barely under 35 when i deliver.... it's possible :) try to keep the faith.


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## sarahincanada

omg you are young, dont feel like that! Ive read that a normal couple under 35 has a 25% chance of conceving each month, where ages 35-40 have a 15% chance. thats only 10% less, its not THAT bad. and right now you are in the 25% anyway!

as for weight, Im in the overweight category for my height (bmi 29) and my fertility specialist hasnt even mentioned anything. I think some doctors are just so strict with things like that, others are not. Im trying to lose weight to see if it helps, but its hard.

sorry about the MC, but it seems that you are very fertile after one, so good luck for your next :hugs:cycle


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## GraceFace

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, sweetie. Your doctor, although nice, seems quite insensitive and not very helpful. I agree with PP, your weight isn't the issue. You've proved you can get pregnant and you will again. :hugs:


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## crystal443

Hiya,

I'm 36 and have a 14DD and a 13DS :) we are currently undergoing treatment at an IVF Clinic and we were told even at 36 our fertility hasn't been affected much as far as age goes. We were right in the middle for age of couples trying to conceive. I do not have a weight problem..I don't know what it is with doctors that panic women if their over 30, I've never had a miscarriage and was told I'm not at higher risk to have a misscarriage at 36. 
Your doctor sounds very insensitive and fertility really depends on each individual especially in our 30's. Some women get pregnant easily at 39 and others like myself had trouble getting pregnant at 20 let alone 36. Don't let it get you down, keeptrying and find a supportive doctor if you have to...Best of Luck!!!


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## luvmydoggies

your not old at all. Doctors always think people need to lose weight! They are so insensitive! When I was a 130 lbs...I was like a 5 in dresses and 7 in pants my doc at the time told me I nedded to lose weight and that I was heavy for my height...I'm 5' 6"... I was so skinny....not that skinny anymore!!! lol I have been through many doc visits where I felt like I needed therapy afterwards due to low blow comments and suggestions. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.


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## readytogiveup

lynlouc said:


> So today i went to the docs ,who confirmed that i have just suffered from a very early misscairrage and although she was really nice i couldnt help but feel she was telling me to expect things like this at my age ,weight etc,,,, I had just got myself in a good place reading on here of larger ladies being successfull and older ladies too but now im really disheartened again . Im 34 and a size 18 .......is that really OLD and Really that OBESE that is could stop me from getting a bfp to stick around ???? Apparently i weighed exactly the same 4 years ago when i conceived my dd but now im 4 years older !!!!!!!!!:nope:

bloody hell you are still a baby, i conceived for my 4yr old at 40 and size 18 am now trying again at 44 same size, with 4yr old was very lucky caught straight away this time took year then unfortunately mmc in aug at 12 weeks. think fridge has gone off and eggs gone bad. having fsh blood tests if levels come bk really high gonna throw in the towel.. so please dont think 34 old good luck :hugs:x


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## NickyT75

I was LTTTC for almost 5yrs but had my 1st baby last year 1 month before turning 35 - Im also a LOT heavier than you & although I had doctors constantly mentioning my weight it didnt have any bearing on my pregnancy & im hoping to TTC again in the next couple of months ((hugs))

Im sorry for you loss sweetheart but I very much doubt it had anything to do with your weight/age ((hugs)) ANYONE can miscarry, its just 1 of those sad unexplained things & it was wrong of your doctor to suggest otherwise :grr: xx


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## Macwooly

lynlouc said:


> So today i went to the docs ,who confirmed that i have just suffered from a very early misscairrage and although she was really nice i couldnt help but feel she was telling me to expect things like this at my age ,weight etc,,,, I had just got myself in a good place reading on here of larger ladies being successfull and older ladies too but now im really disheartened again . Im 34 and a size 18 .......is that really OLD and Really that OBESE that is could stop me from getting a bfp to stick around ???? Apparently i weighed exactly the same 4 years ago when i conceived my dd but now im 4 years older !!!!!!!!!:nope:

Your doctor also sounds very insensitive :hugs:

I'm 40 and trying for #1 and I know I'm obese (size 20/22). When I have visited my doctor and discussed TTC my doctor was excellent and said he couldn't comment on exactly how much my weight or age would affect me as all women are different. He did say that losing some weight would be helpful but not necessary.

If doctors were 100% correct only women with a BMI 22-25 aged under 30 would have successful pregnancies.

So sorry to hear about your lose :hugs:


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## Desperado167

So sorry to hear of your loss Hun and you are def not old ,I am almost 44 and conceived my last child at 38 without any problems,as for your weight ,well I was always a size 20/22 and lost weight a year ago to get down to a size 18 and haven't conceived since,:nope:I wish u all the best and love :hugs:Xxxxx


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## Claireyb1

lynlouc said:


> So today i went to the docs ,who confirmed that i have just suffered from a very early misscairrage and although she was really nice i couldnt help but feel she was telling me to expect things like this at my age ,weight etc,,,, I had just got myself in a good place reading on here of larger ladies being successfull and older ladies too but now im really disheartened again . Im 34 and a size 18 .......is that really OLD and Really that OBESE that is could stop me from getting a bfp to stick around ???? Apparently i weighed exactly the same 4 years ago when i conceived my dd but now im 4 years older !!!!!!!!!:nope:

Hi Lynlouc, the bit I love is if a doctor sits there and tells you you could do with dropping a few pounds and they have a big fat tummy and are clearly overweight themselves. Wouldn't it be good to say "so you don't practice what you preach then??"
You will be fine I'm sure, don't panic.
:hugs:


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## lilvixen

Ruth2307 said:


> No you are not 'really old' or 'really obese' but some of these Drs can certainly make you feel that way! I could tell you some real horror stories about the comments I have had to listen to including 'you are on the heavy side' (that is VERY common or this classic: 'don't think that just because you don't _look_ fat that you _aren't_ fat; if you look at your limbs and even the size of your extremely large hands then it's quite easy for you to hide it quite well.' !!!! I am 5'3" have a BMI of 29, wear size 14 (16 for jeans) - hey I know it's not ideal but I'mnot the obese giant he made me out to be. I nearly swung for him! :growlmad:
> 
> I'm really sorry about your loss and I hope you get another BFP again soon. :hugs::hugs:

Omg, you are so not old lynlouc :nope: and average size are you not for british women? This stick thin ideal thing really gets my goat.

2 of my best friends have had their first babies in the last couple of years and one was 35 and they were both 35. Incidenatlly one was, always has been skinny and she had such an awful pregancy, with c-section, enough to out her off trying for no.2 which is such a shame.

Ruth2307 OMG I cannot believe how rude your Dr was to you I think I'd have found it hard not to :gun: or :grr: unbelievable! I'm really losing faith in the NHS, it seems the staff just cannot be bothered with people and their feelings half the time :nope:


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## Ruth2307

lilvixen said:


> Ruth2307 said:
> 
> 
> No you are not 'really old' or 'really obese' but some of these Drs can certainly make you feel that way! I could tell you some real horror stories about the comments I have had to listen to including 'you are on the heavy side' (that is VERY common or this classic: 'don't think that just because you don't _look_ fat that you _aren't_ fat; if you look at your limbs and even the size of your extremely large hands then it's quite easy for you to hide it quite well.' !!!! I am 5'3" have a BMI of 29, wear size 14 (16 for jeans) - hey I know it's not ideal but I'mnot the obese giant he made me out to be. I nearly swung for him! :growlmad:
> 
> I'm really sorry about your loss and I hope you get another BFP again soon. :hugs::hugs:
> 
> Omg, you are so not old lynlouc :nope: and average size are you not for british women? This stick thin ideal thing really gets my goat.
> 
> 2 of my best friends have had their first babies in the last couple of years and one was 35 and they were both 35. Incidenatlly one was, always has been skinny and she had such an awful pregancy, with c-section, enough to out her off trying for no.2 which is such a shame.
> 
> Ruth2307 OMG I cannot believe how rude your Dr was to you I think I'd have found it hard not to :gun: or :grr: unbelievable! I'm really losing faith in the NHS, it seems the staff just cannot be bothered with people and their feelings half the time :nope:Click to expand...

That was a particularly bad time and as much as his comment was completely out of order, I can now laugh at the audacity of it. If I remember rightly he was a very shall we say 'little' man and if anything HE had a complex about his size which he was trying to project on to me. At my last appt in January I saw a Registrar and funnily enough he was a 'little' man too and once again he was banging on about my age and my weight blah blah blah. I would have liked to have been really laid back and blase but instead I cracked and started bawling like a mad thing. 

It's true what someone commented earlier: you need to be under 30 with a BMI of20-25 to keep these Drs happy! What do they tell a skinny 22 year old who's unfortunate enough to lose a baby??

Lynlouc I hope you're feeling a little better today xxxx


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## Bambers

Sorry for your loss. :( :hugs:

A size 18 isn't drastically overweight and you certainly ain't past it age wise.
One of my best friends is 41, weighs 16 stone (dress size 24) and has just given birth to her 4th healthy, bouncing little bundle.
Your doctor is being insensitive and just quoting from the latest statistics (which will no doubt change in the next five years anyway). 
If you're wanting to get pregnant or are pregnant you are damned if you smoke, drink, are overweight, are underweight, work nights, don't eat five fruit and veg a day, don't drink five glasses of water a day, do high impact exercises, do no exercise etc 
You can't win...so honey...do your own thing. You have just being pregnant so you must be doing something right. And most early miscarriages are because of chromosomal abnormalities nothing that mum has done.

Chin up hon...you'll get there...but for now, give yourself all the tlc you need to help you get through you loss BUT don't give up trying for that little baby...you'll get there. x x x


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## GraceFace

Bambers said:


> Sorry for your loss. :( :hugs:
> 
> A size 18 isn't drastically overweight and you certainly ain't past it age wise.
> One of my best friends is 41, weighs 16 stone (dress size 24) and has just given birth to her 4th healthy, bouncing little bundle.
> You're doctor is being insensitive and just quoting from the latest statistics (which will no doubt change in the next five years anyway).
> If you're wanting to get pregnant or are pregnant you are damned if you smoke, drink, are overweight, are underweight, work nights, don't eat five fruit and veg a day, don't drink five glasses of water a day, do high impact exercises, do no exercise etc
> You can't win...so honey...do your own thing. You have just being pregnant so you must be doing something right. And most early miscarriages are because of chromosomal abnormalities nothing that mum has done.
> Chin up hon...you'll get there...but for now, give yourself all the tlc you need to help you get through you loss BUT don't give up trying for that little baby...you'll get there. x x x

Amen to that!


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## Ruth2307

GraceFace said:


> Bambers said:
> 
> 
> Sorry for your loss. :( :hugs:
> 
> A size 18 isn't drastically overweight and you certainly ain't past it age wise.
> One of my best friends is 41, weighs 16 stone (dress size 24) and has just given birth to her 4th healthy, bouncing little bundle.
> You're doctor is being insensitive and just quoting from the latest statistics (which will no doubt change in the next five years anyway).
> If you're wanting to get pregnant or are pregnant you are damned if you smoke, drink, are overweight, are underweight, work nights, don't eat five fruit and veg a day, don't drink five glasses of water a day, do high impact exercises, do no exercise etc
> You can't win...so honey...do your own thing. You have just being pregnant so you must be doing something right. And most early miscarriages are because of chromosomal abnormalities nothing that mum has done.
> Chin up hon...you'll get there...but for now, give yourself all the tlc you need to help you get through you loss BUT don't give up trying for that little baby...you'll get there. x x x
> 
> Amen to that!Click to expand...

I agree with most of what you said apart from the smoking and drinking part. The dangers of these things (particularly smoking) to the unborn are very well documented. So while we can't get neurotic otherwise we'd be going around in a bubble - there are still some things we need to avoid but we all knew this anyway. :haha: (That Misbehaving Mums TV programme is still playing on my mind!!:cry:)


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## velo

lynlouc said:


> So today i went to the docs ,who confirmed that i have just suffered from a very early misscairrage and although she was really nice i couldnt help but feel she was telling me to expect things like this at my age ,weight etc,,,, I had just got myself in a good place reading on here of larger ladies being successfull and older ladies too but now im really disheartened again . Im 34 and a size 18 .......is that really OLD and Really that OBESE that is could stop me from getting a bfp to stick around ???? Apparently i weighed exactly the same 4 years ago when i conceived my dd but now im 4 years older !!!!!!!!!:nope:

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage :( The good news is that you can conceive and the m/c probably had nothing at all to do with your age or weight, but with a genetic anomaly that occur with lots of pg in women of all ages. The chances of m/c do increase with age, but at 34 should not be significantly different than at 30. 

If you feel that you are healthy at your weight, great! If you feel you could be eating healthier or getting more exercise, try to make small changes. You'll feel great, regardless if the number on the scale changes, and you may increase your chances, but you'll be healthier for your children anyway.

The truth is that as we get older, we do get less fertile. But we don't need perfect fertility in order to have a baby. While women in their early 20s that eat crap and party excessively can probably still get pregnant within a few months, we just have to be a bit more balanced, and possibly more patient :)


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## Garnet

Every single doctor that I talk to that is an OB has told me to lose weight in order to get pregnant. I lost about 5 -7 pound and I got pregnant. Alot of my friends that were a little overweight and over 40 has been told that too. My friend lost about 20 pounds and she got pregnant right away. I guess being a little overweight can prevent you from getting pregnant. I guess the way the doctor talks to you can make you feel worse sometimes.


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## sunbeam

god no, ur not old hun. i had 6 kids after turning 34yr. and id hardly say size 18 is massively over weight. good luck in ur ttc journey and so sorry for ur loss hun :hugs:


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## lynlouc

Really,Really.... BIG THANKYOU'S to all of you for commenting on this thread , having read all your lovely comments i feel so much better and am going to try and be more relaxed about the whole thing and see what happens , again thankyou your support is greatly appreciated xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## CeeDee

Sorry for your loss. I am a overweight at 5'1" 135lbs, but my doctor said nothing about my weight. She was more concerned about me getting a lot of exercise and proper nutrition. She prescribed prenatals and sent me own the way. 

I can't remember where I read it, but they say if you carry your weight below the waist than its a good thing for your baby. There is nothing wrong with loosing weight, but if you've already gotten pregnant at your current size than it shouldn't be a problem.


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## HopefulInNC

My doctor didn't tell me I couldn't get pregnant if I was overweight but he did say that women who are overweight produce a higher amount of a certain hormone that has been linked to miscarriages. He tested it for it when we started our IVF journey but I don't recall the name of it or what is considered a normal level. I can ask when I go back on Monday though. Mine was on the lower end of the yellow scale (as in green=good, yellow, red=bad) so he wasn't overly concerned but suggested I lose a few pounds. He was very sensitive about it though. He was actually beating around the bush and I finally said...Let's cut to the chase. Are you telling me that I need to lose weight? If so, just say it! :)

Good luck!


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## Love2011

CeeDee said:


> Sorry for your loss. I am a overweight at 5'1" 135lbs, but my doctor said nothing about my weight. She was more concerned about me getting a lot of exercise and proper nutrition. She prescribed prenatals and sent me own the way.
> 
> I can't remember where I read it, but they say if you carry your weight below the waist than its a good thing for your baby. There is nothing wrong with loosing weight, but if you've already gotten pregnant at your current size than it shouldn't be a problem.

Some docs are ageist, but actually sometimes are biological age is younger than our actual age if we eat healthy & exercise. The average age Of menopause in the uk is approx 52 years & the average age of 1st pregnancy is 32 yrs. Alot of drs from 20-50 yrs ago were trained at a time when they believed that over 30 was menopausal etc as the average age was more in the early 20s so you encounter some old prejudice. Being overweight at any age,however has been researched & it does apparently help if it's at possible to get to a weight which is more comfortable in pregnancy.

I'm 41 & 15 weeks pregnant with natural twins, 1st pregnancy , I agree with the drs advice above which was more helpful. Do both take pregnancy vits, eat as healthy as u can pre & during pregnancy which should also improve your energy levels & prime ur body for pregnancy & you will naturally lose some of the extra weight. I wish I'd exercised before pregnancy to strengthen my arms back & legs as I will be carrying a growing 11-15 pounds of babies + I need to eat extra healthy food for 3 of us

Your blood volume increases by 50-100% depending on how many your carrying ie so this can also give additional weight. The amniotic fluid (water around the babies) has it's own weight & your waistline can go up up to 20 inches

Abdominal ultrasounds are done through your belly to monitor the babies as they get bigger. If you need an elective or emergency Caesarian it is a little bit more difficult to do the surgery easier with a few inches of fat to cut through

Equally being too skinny reduces the chances of success ie not giving the baby enough food to survive the pregnancy. It's better to put weight on during the pregnancy with healthy wholefoods . It's possible to sort everything out when pregnant so I wouldnt worry. But do give the babies & yourself the best chance of a comfortable uncomplicated pregnancy by following some of their advice

I was about a stone over my usual weight & 12-14 when I got pregnant, but I'm eating healthy & I'm allowed to put on weight now as bigger twins are more likely to survive pregnancy. But Im advising junk foods or fatty foods as they will just get no nutrition & empty calories

So from a


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## sarahincanada

Love2011 said:


> CeeDee said:
> 
> 
> Sorry for your loss. I am a overweight at 5'1" 135lbs, but my doctor said nothing about my weight. She was more concerned about me getting a lot of exercise and proper nutrition. She prescribed prenatals and sent me own the way.
> 
> I can't remember where I read it, but they say if you carry your weight below the waist than its a good thing for your baby. There is nothing wrong with loosing weight, but if you've already gotten pregnant at your current size than it shouldn't be a problem.
> 
> Some docs are ageist, but actually sometimes are biological age is younger than our actual age if we eat healthy & exercise. The average age Of menopause in the uk is approx 52 years & the average age of 1st pregnancy is 32 yrs. Alot of drs from 20-50 yrs ago were trained at a time when they believed that over 30 was menopausal etc as the average age was more in the early 20s so you encounter some old prejudice. Being overweight at any age,however has been researched & it does apparently help if it's at possible to get to a weight which is more comfortable in pregnancy.
> 
> I'm 41 & 15 weeks pregnant with natural twins, 1st pregnancy , I agree with the drs advice above which was more helpful. Do both take pregnancy vits, eat as healthy as u can pre & during pregnancy which should also improve your energy levels & prime ur body for pregnancy & you will naturally lose some of the extra weight. I wish I'd exercised before pregnancy to strengthen my arms back & legs as I will be carrying a growing 11-15 pounds of babies + I need to eat extra healthy food for 3 of us
> 
> Your blood volume increases by 50-100% depending on how many your carrying ie so this can also give additional weight. The amniotic fluid (water around the babies) has it's own weight & your waistline can go up up to 20 inches
> 
> Abdominal ultrasounds are done through your belly to monitor the babies as they get bigger. If you need an elective or emergency Caesarian it is a little bit more difficult to do the surgery easier with a few inches of fat to cut through
> 
> Equally being too skinny reduces the chances of success ie not giving the baby enough food to survive the pregnancy. It's better to put weight on during the pregnancy with healthy wholefoods . It's possible to sort everything out when pregnant so I wouldnt worry. But do give the babies & yourself the best chance of a comfortable uncomplicated pregnancy by following some of their advice
> 
> I was about a stone over my usual weight & 12-14 when I got pregnant, but I'm eating healthy & I'm allowed to put on weight now as bigger twins are more likely to survive pregnancy. But Im advising junk foods or fatty foods as they will just get no nutrition & empty calories
> 
> So from aClick to expand...

hi! wow congrats, you conceived twins and first time trying! thats amazing! may I ask when you BD's around ovulation time? I looked through some of your posts and saw you saying you used the clearblue monitor, so just interested to know which days you BDd and when your ovulation was. thanks :flower:


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## lynlouc

Fx'd for you sarahincanada , what a lovely surprise for your family that would be xxxx


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## CeeDee

Congrats, Love2011!


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## Bambers

Ruth2307 said:


> GraceFace said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Bambers said:
> 
> 
> Sorry for your loss. :( :hugs:
> 
> A size 18 isn't drastically overweight and you certainly ain't past it age wise.
> One of my best friends is 41, weighs 16 stone (dress size 24) and has just given birth to her 4th healthy, bouncing little bundle.
> You're doctor is being insensitive and just quoting from the latest statistics (which will no doubt change in the next five years anyway).
> If you're wanting to get pregnant or are pregnant you are damned if you smoke, drink, are overweight, are underweight, work nights, don't eat five fruit and veg a day, don't drink five glasses of water a day, do high impact exercises, do no exercise etc
> You can't win...so honey...do your own thing. You have just being pregnant so you must be doing something right. And most early miscarriages are because of chromosomal abnormalities nothing that mum has done.
> Chin up hon...you'll get there...but for now, give yourself all the tlc you need to help you get through you loss BUT don't give up trying for that little baby...you'll get there. x x x
> 
> Amen to that!Click to expand...
> 
> I agree with most of what you said apart from the smoking and drinking part. The dangers of these things (particularly smoking) to the unborn are very well documented. So while we can't get neurotic otherwise we'd be going around in a bubble - there are still some things we need to avoid but we all knew this anyway. :haha: (That Misbehaving Mums TV programme is still playing on my mind!!:cry:)Click to expand...

I totally agree, you ideally should not drink or smoke when pregnant. It's bad for you and bad for baby, end of.

What I was trying to do was show a short list of the thousands of things that you are not meant to do when ttc or pregnant. If we listened to every bit of new data that comes out we would be neurotic nuts in a perpetual state of worrying after just a few weeks. At some point you have to use your own inner wisdom and judgement and shut off from the continual barrage that the media and the medical profession assault us with.


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## Ruth2307

Bambers said:


> Ruth2307 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> GraceFace said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Bambers said:
> 
> 
> Sorry for your loss. :( :hugs:
> 
> A size 18 isn't drastically overweight and you certainly ain't past it age wise.
> One of my best friends is 41, weighs 16 stone (dress size 24) and has just given birth to her 4th healthy, bouncing little bundle.
> You're doctor is being insensitive and just quoting from the latest statistics (which will no doubt change in the next five years anyway).
> If you're wanting to get pregnant or are pregnant you are damned if you smoke, drink, are overweight, are underweight, work nights, don't eat five fruit and veg a day, don't drink five glasses of water a day, do high impact exercises, do no exercise etc
> You can't win...so honey...do your own thing. You have just being pregnant so you must be doing something right. And most early miscarriages are because of chromosomal abnormalities nothing that mum has done.
> Chin up hon...you'll get there...but for now, give yourself all the tlc you need to help you get through you loss BUT don't give up trying for that little baby...you'll get there. x x x
> 
> Amen to that!Click to expand...
> 
> I agree with most of what you said apart from the smoking and drinking part. The dangers of these things (particularly smoking) to the unborn are very well documented. So while we can't get neurotic otherwise we'd be going around in a bubble - there are still some things we need to avoid but we all knew this anyway. :haha: (That Misbehaving Mums TV programme is still playing on my mind!!:cry:)Click to expand...
> 
> I totally agree, you ideally should not drink or smoke when pregnant. It's bad for you and bad for baby, end of.
> 
> What I was trying to do was show a short list of the thousands of things that you are not meant to do when ttc or pregnant. If we listened to every bit of new data that comes out we would be neurotic nuts in a perpetual state of worrying after just a few weeks. At some point you have to use your own inner wisdom and judgement and shut off from the continual barrage that the media and the medical profession assault us with.Click to expand...

You are so right! :thumbup: Everyday there's some new threat and it can be quite scary so I've kind of switched off now and am doing just as you say: using my own inner wisdom and judgement otherwise I wouldn't eat or even leave the house!


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## readyformore

sunbeam said:


> . i had 6 kids after turning 34yr. :hugs:

I'm 34 and struggling a little to ttc, 10 cycles now of ttc #4. Your comment gave me so much encouragement. It wasn't until my 30s that I realized I wanted a bunch of kids, and I feel like time is slipping by. I hope to be as fertile as you!


lynlouc, I'm so sorry for your loss hun. Sometimes it would be easier to have something to blame the miscarriage on. Usually, there is no reason. I wonder if your doctor justed used your age and weight as an excuse. But, it certaintly doesn't help, instead it probably caused guilt and embarrassment.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. 
Hopefully, the next baby will be a sticky one!:hugs:


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## lynlouc

Thanks Readyformore lets keep our fingers crossed that we get our #4's very soon xxxxxIm sure we will ,, feeling quite positive about it today , i mean we are only 34 and lots of people have families right into their late 40's early 50's so why not ???? ( lets see how long this pma lasts !!!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


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## readyformore

lynlouc said:


> Thanks Readyformore lets keep our fingers crossed that we get our #4's very soon xxxxxIm sure we will ,, feeling quite positive about it today , i mean we are only 34 and lots of people have families right into their late 40's early 50's so why not ???? ( lets see how long this pma lasts !!!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I could use some of that attitude for sure.:thumbup: After 10 cycles, my confidence is fading. I keep telling myself that I'm not 'too old' and I'm healthy. 

Sorry to hear that you've been struggling. Hopefully, it's smooth sailing from here on out.:hugs:


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## Love2011

lynlouc said:


> So today i went to the docs ,who confirmed that i have just suffered from a very early misscairrage and although she was really nice i couldnt help but feel she was telling me to expect things like this at my age ,weight etc,,,, I had just got myself in a good place reading on here of larger ladies being successfull and older ladies too but now im really disheartened again . Im 34 and a size 18 .......is that really OLD and Really that OBESE that is could stop me from getting a bfp to stick around ???? Apparently i weighed exactly the same 4 years ago when i conceived my dd but now im 4 years older !!!!!!!!!:nope:

:thumbup::baby::baby::flower: Hello all,
I 'm now at 41 I'm the proud mother of beautiful ,healthy 4 month old, twin girls after using clearblue & both of us using pregnancy vits. It was a spontaneous pregnancy. 7 years after a huge myomectomy for fibroids, Hope this gives hope to everyone. 

I dont think your age is an issue as long as you keep healthy. I was a size 12 at the start of pregnancy . You do need some fat for the baby during the pregnancy, from healthy eating to reduce other risks in pregnancy. I wished I did exercises before & during the pregnancy as they help you to have the strength in your legs & back during the pregnancy & improves your circulation.

Its up to you about the weight. I put on 50lbs during the pregnancy , if it was 1 baby id expect to put on about 30lb.ie baby & amniotic fluid & increased blood volume, I lost 35 lbs after pregnancy so i still have another 15 lbs to go. Also if you consider a c sec, its easier to do the surgery if theres less weight.

I know people who are much much larger than me who had successful pregnancies , so dont worry, good things come to those who wait

:flower:

xxxx:cloud9:


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## lexus15

Love2011 said:


> lynlouc said:
> 
> 
> So today i went to the docs ,who confirmed that i have just suffered from a very early misscairrage and although she was really nice i couldnt help but feel she was telling me to expect things like this at my age ,weight etc,,,, I had just got myself in a good place reading on here of larger ladies being successfull and older ladies too but now im really disheartened again . Im 34 and a size 18 .......is that really OLD and Really that OBESE that is could stop me from getting a bfp to stick around ???? Apparently i weighed exactly the same 4 years ago when i conceived my dd but now im 4 years older !!!!!!!!!:nope:
> 
> :thumbup::baby::baby::flower: Hello all,
> I 'm now at 41 I'm the proud mother of beautiful ,healthy 4 month old, twin girls after using clearblue & both of us using pregnancy vits. It was a spontaneous pregnancy. 7 years after a huge myomectomy for fibroids, Hope this gives hope to everyone.
> 
> I dont think your age is an issue as long as you keep healthy. I was a size 12 at the start of pregnancy . You do need some fat for the baby during the pregnancy, from healthy eating to reduce other risks in pregnancy. I wished I did exercises before & during the pregnancy as they help you to have the strength in your legs & back during the pregnancy & improves your circulation.
> 
> Its up to you about the weight. I put on 50lbs during the pregnancy , if it was 1 baby id expect to put on about 30lb.ie baby & amniotic fluid & increased blood volume, I lost 35 lbs after pregnancy so i still have another 15 lbs to go. Also if you consider a c sec, its easier to do the surgery if theres less weight.
> 
> I know people who are much much larger than me who had successful pregnancies , so dont worry, good things come to those who wait
> 
> :flower:
> 
> xxxx:cloud9:Click to expand...

Oh wow..congratulations:happydance:

You've definately given me hope. I tried to use my CBFM this month but kept forgetting to test with fmu when going for an early morning wee, I'll try harder next month!:haha:

:hugs:


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## AmeliaLily

Don't worry about being too old for your second or third at 34! I'm 34 and have just conceived my first.


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## AmeliaLily

lynlouc said:


> So today i went to the docs ,who confirmed that i have just suffered from a very early misscairrage and although she was really nice i couldnt help but feel she was telling me to expect things like this at my age ,weight etc,,,, I had just got myself in a good place reading on here of larger ladies being successfull and older ladies too but now im really disheartened again . Im 34 and a size 18 .......is that really OLD and Really that OBESE that is could stop me from getting a bfp to stick around ???? Apparently i weighed exactly the same 4 years ago when i conceived my dd but now im 4 years older !!!!!!!!!:nope:

Oh and also I'm a size 16 with a BMI of 31


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