# o your a 'teen' mom?!



## BrEeZeY

okay so this may offend some ppl i really hope it doesnt but i was jst at the store and someone saw that i have a child and ask how old i was and i told them i was 20 and they said o your a "teen" mom and she walked away she didnt ask anything about him! WTF?!? like really?! u jst had to ask how old i was so you could insult me!

i hate when ppl call it teen parents/ teen mom/ a baby having a baby!! i think that it should be referred to as a young mom/ young family! i hate how ppl treat me jst because i had a child young... 

does anyone else find it offensive? i jst feel insulted like im less of a parent because i had children young... and like how i am frowned on for wanting more children with how 'old' i am....


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## lizardbreath

Oh my Gosh that is So rude. Ugh I hate when people Assume because your young that your a Horrible parent. or that your Slutty or something. * rolls eyes *

Im getting annoyed with People Staring at my baby belly and watching me hold hands with Jaymee. I mean im 21 , it was Very common in the 50s and 60s for people to have 2 or 3 kids already by my age.


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## BrEeZeY

^^ exactly! i hate that terminology anymore


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## braddys

I personally think its more to do with how poeple stereotype. They assume every young mum is on benefits and taking their tax money. However its not like this for everyone.


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## laura1991

I hatee the steriotype attacted to being a young mum! you should hold your head high becasue your a great mum! what a rude woman!


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## Ablaski17

I am going to have to agree , I think mabey this sections name should be changed to young parenting , instead of teen parenting. I mean the age range in here is from like 15 - 25. I have seen threads where ladies who ask if they are to old for the section because they are in there 20's but feel more comfortable with girls closer in age. I think the name young parenting is more inviting. I also feel we should be able to talk about TTC another baby in here to, there should be no reason why we shouldn't. It's all girls around our age where it is easier to connect then in the TTC section. I feel this sections has a lot of "restrictions". I don't want anyone to get upset by this is, I just think it should be out there how we feel about it , after all we are the one's who use this section , we make up the this section.​


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## BrEeZeY

I agree 100% this sections not jst for teen moms its young parents facing the same problems as other parents with jst a few more, I really hate that we can't discuss ttc if its a topic on our minds that we want to discuss the advantages and disadvantages with ppl closer to our age that face same problems I'm not supporting anyone under 18 ttc jst want to tlk to those who r ttc or have more than one... Or tlkin to ppl at a young age and give them advice on y they should wtt


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## 08marchbean

i hate it too. 
we went away for the night a few weeks ago and went down for dinner. the barmaid saw me and OH with our daughter and immediatly said, your too young to have a baby. how old are you. i was so socked i mean how rude are some people!! what makes her think its ok to say that to someone?! i replied 20 and my OH said 22 and she just walked away. :wacko: (we do look younger but there is no need to be so damn rude!)


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## xx~Lor~xx

Yes it is VERY offensive. Age doesn't define what kind of a mother you are! When they ask your age next time, just say you're a 'young mum' and 'it's rude to ask someone's age' lmao, that's what most older mums would say if asked their ages! 

xoxox


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## aob1013

Nobody has ever said such a thing to me, but if they did i would tell them to fuck off. I'm probably in a better financial/emotional/physical position than them so i couldn't care less :lol:

I'm afraid you got to get a thick skin!


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## Eve

Never bothered me really, when I had my son at 18, going around pregnant at 17 years old? I expected looks... lol I mean seriously, I was a child myself and here I was bringing one into the world. You are always going to be judged having children young like that... 20 to me isn't terribly young though, and you are not a teen anymore... :shrug: but yeah, if you are going to have em young, when not legally considered an adult, you are bound to get some kind of judgment, but saying it to your face isn't very nice :nope:


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## aob1013

tbh people will ALWAYS find something to judge you on! If it wasn't your age, it would be your hair colour or something!


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## Neferet

Yeah, I find it very offensive. Stuff like that really pisses me off. I don't see why young mums get frowned upon so much. Good parenting has nothing to do with age.


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## punk_chick

aob1013 said:


> tbh people will ALWAYS find something to judge you on! If it wasn't your age, it would be your hair colour or something!


I know what you mean I was a young mom (10 years ago lol) and now I get judged on my tattoo's and the fact that I dye my hair wacky colours (its bright blue at the mo). My appearance shouldn't affect the fact that I'm a great mom and love my kids.


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## rjb

I haven't gotten any yet, but if anyone ever said 'you're too young to have a baby!' I'd just say well apparently not, and walk away.
Granted, I am very young, and I do see some of my friends who have kids (around my age) don't always make the best choices. Some of them do leave their kids at home to go party.
But I don't! I'm here every night and every day with Adelaide. I feed her, I change her, I bathe her, I dress her, I get up with her, I love her.
And I'd anyone wants to tell me that that isn't good enough just because I haven't lived as long as they have, they'll have another thing coming.

Now I have gotten the 'but youre just a baby yourself!'
But I just laugh it off.


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## hurryupsept

rjb said:


> I haven't gotten any yet, but if anyone ever said 'you're too young to have a baby!' I'd just say well apparently not, and walk away.


 that one made me laugh! :haha: 
young mums will always be placed into the stereotypical category, i just think it's young parents like us here that will prove them wrong. we all know we're great mums and that's all that matters. our LO's are cared for, provided for and loved! what more could they ask :thumbup: i always get told that 'i've wasted my life' but when i look at JJ i know i've got the most amazing thing in the world :happydance:


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## amygwen

I haven't had anyone say anything to me but it would really bug me if someone were to say something like that to me. With my first pregnancy one memory I have was when I went for my very first doctor's appointment (I would've been about four-six weeks pregnant) and when they asked how old I was, I said I was 18, which I was and than the nurse was like 18!?!! Like in a really shocked tone, like I said I was six years old and pregnant! It was really strange. I didn't think much of it at the time because I was like, I was 18, not like 12. But now that I think about it, it really irritates me! :flower:


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## lucy_x

iv never had anything said, If someone did tho.. im not sure it would annoy me, because deep down, i know im a good mum.and really isnt that all that matter? :flower:


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## 08marchbean

aob1013 said:


> tbh people will ALWAYS find something to judge you on! If it wasn't your age, it would be your hair colour or something!

yes but if they thought you had a weird hair colour they wouldnt come up to you and offend you by saying you dont suit your hair like that or something, so why do they think its ok to insult people just because they are younger? :shrug: 

somethings/opinions are better left unsaid and i think i have more respect and show more integrity than some people twice my age.


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## Burchy314

Ablaski17 said:


> I am going to have to agree , I think mabey this sections name should be changed to young parenting , instead of teen parenting. I mean the age range in here is from like 15 - 25. I have seen threads where ladies who ask if they are to old for the section because they are in there 20's but feel more comfortable with girls closer in age. I think the name young parenting is more inviting. I also feel we should be able to talk about TTC another baby in here to, there should be no reason why we shouldn't. It's all girls around our age where it is easier to connect then in the TTC section. I feel this sections has a lot of "restrictions". I don't want anyone to get upset by this is, I just think it should be out there how we feel about it , after all we are the one's who use this section , we make up the this section.​

I agree 100%. I think that we should talk to the people who are in charge of the section and explain to them what we think.

I think if you are 18 and want to talk about TTC then you should be aloud. When you are 18 you are an adult! I hate talking in the other sections because I feel like I am going to be judged for being a YOUNG mom and I just connect with everyone here so much better. 

I have yet had anyone say any of those comments to me which I am really surprised about because I look like I am 16 not 18.


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## annawrigley

Wow thats rude!! I've had people ask how old I am and when I say 18 (or 17 when he was younger) they kinda go "ohhhh :D" with an awkward smile, but not actually saying what they're thinking! I expect judgement, I don't mind, but for someone to come and say it to your face :wacko: Baffles me how people think thats ok

And rjb, "apparently not" is my prepared comeback for if someone said i'm too young to have a baby too! :rofl: Not had to use it yet thankfully!


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## Hotbump

Same happen to me this lady that i use to go to church with came to my house with her daughter. She saw that i had jr and said oh you so little and you already have two boys. I wanted to slam the door in her face.lol.


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## aob1013

08marchbean said:


> aob1013 said:
> 
> 
> tbh people will ALWAYS find something to judge you on! If it wasn't your age, it would be your hair colour or something!
> 
> yes but if they thought you had a weird hair colour they wouldnt come up to you and offend you by saying you dont suit your hair like that or something, so why do they think its ok to insult people just because they are younger? :shrug:
> 
> somethings/opinions are better left unsaid and i think i have more respect and show more integrity than some people twice my age.Click to expand...

It's the young mum stereotype unfortunately. It's not going to go away anytime soon either, which is why it's best to learn very quickly to ignore ignore ignore!


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## Eve

I think if more people joined bnb they wouldn't be so judgmental, but until then, aob is right, there will be rude ppl who voice their opinion on your age being a mother.


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## Sarah10

Nobody's actually said anything, i do get funny looks but they soon look away once i stare them out! muahaha


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## KaceysMummy

I get this quite a bit, the stares and remarks, and I'm told I look older for my age so I'd hate to actually look my age.
I actually got referred to as 'the likes of them' the other day, it annoys me cause people that judge don't even know me therefore have no right to judge, some people are just rude!
I just trying to tell myself they're staring cause they are jealous of my beautiful baby girl :) 

xx


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## MummyGooch

Oh how awful :growlmad: how rude of them!

I had my son when I was 16 but never had any comments, although I'm sure many judged! I was very busy with college and uni though so didn't have much time to notice. Now however at 21 with our second, people seem to assume i'm around 24/25 (the age they tell me they thought i was) because of the way I speak and the way I am with my children and our lifestyle. It is nice to be treated as an equal adult and to feel that my opinion on not just parenting but any other matter is a valid one.

Don't worry hun, those that judge you obviously don't have enough life experience to realise that everyone is different :hugs:


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## mom22boys

So sorry you guys! 

I was 21 when I got prego with my first and my husband was 19! When we got married my husband was 18 and I was 20! I was 24 when I had my second. I am now 34! I do think it made things a little harder money wise but I would not change a thing!!!


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## tasha41

I agree it's rude,

But I don't care what anyone else thinks :rofl: I must sound like such a cow but I truly, truly do not care! I know the truth, I know what my life is like, I am happy, my child is happy/healthy/loved. I just laugh it off. They don't know what they're missing. They see a young mother and have whatever preconceived notions in their mind about that, but I own a house with my OH, I am a college student, I'm a good cook, daughter, friend.. I work part time too! Why waste the little time and energy I have leftover on getting my knickers in a knot (or worse into some kind of spat with them).. when I could have a bubble bath or something instead lol.

Plus TBH I feel like if I react to it, Elyse will notice this stupid stigma... I don't want her to feel like she is the child of a teen parent, I want her to feel like and be a normal child.


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## 08marchbean

yeah, i should learn to shurg it off, its just so annoying when i probably have a better life than some of them, yet they think they are superior for some reason. and are entitied to say derogatory things to my face! 
we own our own house, both have new cars, go an holiday every year pay taxes,we both have full time jobs (untill i went on maternity and got made redundant!) etc. grrrrrr


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## Mei190

I get a lot of stares and stuff even though I am 20, I actually look about 15 :haha:

I am usually bothered by stuff like staring however now I have got pretty used to it. I completely shrugged off the other day someone who kept asking my mother if she got heartburn while pregnant with Nathaniel. I just answered her question and said he was mine, her eyes nearly popped out of her head and she wandered off. Doesn't bother me in the slightest. I think us young moms probably do need to have a tougher skin due to the judgemental side of it, which is kind of sad really.


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## lily123

:hugs: People can be so rude!
Don't let them get to you babe :flower:
xxx


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## GeekyBunny

Just randomly noticed this thread so thought I would rant too lol. I fell pregnant with Eli when I was 17 back in march and hated the looks I would get on the bus deff off the old ladies and then I signed up to start college in the september and would get loads of looks off teachers and students! Im on a health and social care couse which we do child birth and care in and one of my teachers hate me, she would always ask me questions about the care I got in my pregnancy and other personal questions (in front of the class). Like one time we were doing about the emotional blows of pregnancy in young mum and she commented to me in class saying "Alot of young mums find it hard to have a loving long lasting relationship while pregnant so young, have you found that Sharna, you must find it hard to deal with what support do you get?" THE BLOODY CHEEK!! I felt like shouting at her that I was engaged to the babies dad! Stupid cow. I will admit I aint looking forward to going back to college with being away from Eli as he is so young, how did everyone else deal? Also too scared of getting on the bus incase Eli crys or fills his nappy, I dont think I could deal with any more stares =(


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## Jellyt

I'm 22 but look a lot younger and when I was pregnant it bothered me that people wouldn't stand up for me on the train etc blatently because they thought I was too young. It doesn't matter how young I was, they should still stand up for a pregnant woman. Anyway, I just laugh now or smile proudly because Evelyn is gorgeous and I don't care what anyone thinks :). It's the people who judge who've done something wrong, not us for having children at a young age! xx


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## ni2ki

I too fell pregnant at 18 with my first, had the same judgemental older generation experience, i just fobbed it off, at 19 i was able to pull in nearly 50k a year through work, and i had a perfect daughter, who cares what others think, its superflous, we know we're good mums, its how we love our children that matters, not our partners, not our age but our determination to be and give the best we can. Childrens happiness is all that matters, i cant imagine anyone on here not being the best they can be xx


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## annawrigley

GeekyBunny said:


> Just randomly noticed this thread so thought I would rant too lol. I fell pregnant with Eli when I was 17 back in march and hated the looks I would get on the bus deff off the old ladies and then I signed up to start college in the september and would get loads of looks off teachers and students! Im on a health and social care couse which we do child birth and care in and one of my teachers hate me, she would always ask me questions about the care I got in my pregnancy and other personal questions (in front of the class). Like one time we were doing about the emotional blows of pregnancy in young mum and she commented to me in class saying "Alot of young mums find it hard to have a loving long lasting relationship while pregnant so young, have you found that Sharna, you must find it hard to deal with what support do you get?" THE BLOODY CHEEK!! I felt like shouting at her that I was engaged to the babies dad! Stupid cow. *I will admit I aint looking forward to going back to college with being away from Eli as he is so young, how did everyone else deal? Also too scared of getting on the bus incase Eli crys or fills his nappy, I dont think I could deal with any more stares =(*

How old will he be? Noah was 6 months when I went back and I think that was a good age, I do miss him but its nice to get out and about and do something productive, and have a bit of a break too. The bus can be a bit testing at times :\ Noahs never done a poo on the bus, thank god, dont think I'd know what to do lol. But he does cry, especially if he's tired and there's nothing I can do. I do get looks because it looks like I just dont care, but there would be no point getting him out because hes tired and wants to go to sleep, I have to just wait for him to drop off! Can be stressful but its better now hes older, he doesnt tend to do that as much and hes too busy looking around and smiling and dancing for people that he seems to forget about being tired :cloud9: xx


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## Buggie.

I hate this! I was 16 when I got pregnant, 17 when Brealyn was born. 
Honestly, my family was the worst. :|


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## GeekyBunny

annawrigley said:


> GeekyBunny said:
> 
> 
> Just randomly noticed this thread so thought I would rant too lol. I fell pregnant with Eli when I was 17 back in march and hated the looks I would get on the bus deff off the old ladies and then I signed up to start college in the september and would get loads of looks off teachers and students! Im on a health and social care couse which we do child birth and care in and one of my teachers hate me, she would always ask me questions about the care I got in my pregnancy and other personal questions (in front of the class). Like one time we were doing about the emotional blows of pregnancy in young mum and she commented to me in class saying "Alot of young mums find it hard to have a loving long lasting relationship while pregnant so young, have you found that Sharna, you must find it hard to deal with what support do you get?" THE BLOODY CHEEK!! I felt like shouting at her that I was engaged to the babies dad! Stupid cow. *I will admit I aint looking forward to going back to college with being away from Eli as he is so young, how did everyone else deal? Also too scared of getting on the bus incase Eli crys or fills his nappy, I dont think I could deal with any more stares =(*
> 
> How old will he be? Noah was 6 months when I went back and I think that was a good age, I do miss him but its nice to get out and about and do something productive, and have a bit of a break too. The bus can be a bit testing at times :\ Noahs never done a poo on the bus, thank god, dont think I'd know what to do lol. But he does cry, especially if he's tired and there's nothing I can do. I do get looks because it looks like I just dont care, but there would be no point getting him out because hes tired and wants to go to sleep, I have to just wait for him to drop off! Can be stressful but its better now hes older, he doesnt tend to do that as much and hes too busy looking around and smiling and dancing for people that he seems to forget about being tired :cloud9: xxClick to expand...

I was in my first year of college when I found out I was pregnant doing 3 A levels but had to change as it was 5 days a week so started an advance diploma in september that is only 3 days a week and one day work experience, I'm not sure when I go back as I am on maternity leave right now and only gave birth 4 weeks ago today. I think I have maximum until the end of feb and that is pushing it!


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## BrEeZeY

Buggie. said:


> I hate this! I was 16 when I got pregnant, 17 when Brealyn was born.
> Honestly, my family was the worst. :|


i loooove ur babe's name lol mine is Brea Lynn hahaha :)


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## ShelbyLee

next time someone asks you how old you are just tell them like 25 and see how they react.


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## leoniebabey

I must just have a nice face :rofl:
everyone just comes up and talks to me doesnt ask my age, especially older people they always tell me to 'take care' :lol:.
Even when i was pregnant i was about to ask this woman wtf she was looking out till she turned round and said i looked lovely! I was like oh thanks.

I did get a couple of looks when i was pregnant and a couple now but tbh im so busy going about my life i dont even notice if people stare! 

I just smile at everyone even if there blatently being cocky little idiots i just smile on


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## emilylynn18

To be perfectly honest, I have never once been offended by someone calling me a young mom or a teen mom.

Maybe that's just me though. I take great pride in the fact that I am a better Mother than some Moms twice my age! Alot of girls my age either abort their babies or give them up for adoption. I chose to keep my son and I don't regret it for a minute.

It truly sickens me though to see how some younger Mothers are treated! I've never been insulted or treated badly. I have gotten ugly looks, especially when I'm out alone with both my son and stepson. I've been told multiple times that when I get my bangs cut short I look like I'm about 14. So of course alot of people see me with two children and assume I'm either a huge slut and can't keep my legs closed, or I'm just mentally ill.:haha:


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## pinkribbon

It's a shame that the young parents who do act irresponsibly (there's a lot of them where I live swearing/smoking in front of their kids for example) give ALL young mums a bad name. Some mothers are 30, 40 etc and it doesn't make them a 'better' parent cause of their age! I'm 20 and I still feel like old people in particular look at me like i'm stupid sometimes.


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## newmommy23

I have told people to fuck off to their face lol. I hate people who pull that crap. I have the young mom thing, and then the mixed race baby thing which you'd think people would be over by now. "oh she'll never fit in anywhere" oh fuck you how bout :grr:


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## wishuwerehere

I've very rarely had a problem with people saying anything to me (and I look young for my age...) but I do find there is a sort of underlying assumption about teen mums in everyday conversation with people who really should know better.
For example, my OH's brothers girlfriend and I were chatting about the baby groups she goes to the other day. I told her I've never really got on with baby groups just because the ones I have been to happened to have generally older mums and I never really found I could relate to them. I said I'd love to find a young mums group, as I thought it'd be easier for me to relate to people my own age. And she said 'Really? But you're in a stable relationship, you don't live at home with your parents and you don't claim benefits or anything' 
My jaw hit the floor! I don't consider being single or living with your parents or claiming benefits a bad thing, but she said it in an obviously derogatory way and it was just so stereotypical of her!
(the other thing I thought was she was incredibly hypocritical to say that...as she started ttc when she'd been in a relationship for 1 whole month...she was still living with her ex and her only job was at a nightclub. And she still claims benefits! So I don't see how she can really criticise...)


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## jenniferannex

that would really pi** me off!! some people are just so damn rude! x


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## TattiesMum

newmommy23 said:


> I have told people to fuck off to their face lol. I hate people who pull that crap. I have the young mom thing, and then *the mixed race baby thing which you'd think people would be over by now. "oh she'll never fit in anywhere"* oh fuck you how bout :grr:


Seriously???? :shock::shock::shock: No-one has *ever* said anything like that about Kaylum - that's outrageous!! :hugs:

People do seem to think they have the right to ask Tattie if she's 'still with the baby's father' though :wacko: which always strikes me as an unbelievably personal and intrusive question to ask :dohh:

Heres a few comebacks for you girls that get the point across to these rude assholes that *they* are out of order :thumbup: :hugs::hugs::hugs:

'How old are you?/Are you still with the baby's father'  ..... "That's an odd question - Why are you asking?"

'Well you look so young/You look too young to have a baby' ..... "Yes, I'm lucky like that - it must be good genes"

'Are you still with the Baby's father/Does his father support him' .... "Goodness! That's a very personal Question! Can I ask why you want to know?"

As for the 'She won't fit anywhere' nonsense ... I think I'd have to say "What? Like in a shoebox or something? ... that's OK I wasn't planning on fitting her *into* anything"

Best of all just say "What a rude thing to say/ask" in shocked tones to all of them :thumbup::thumbup::hugs:


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## annawrigley

Yeah I get the "are you still with the father" as well :roll: UGH RUDE!


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## fantastica

I've not had many comments tbh, i'm 21 but look about 12!!! 

Although yesterday I was in the supermarket (without make up and pretty scruffy so definitely looking even younger!) and an oldish woman looked surprised and just said 'are you a mummy???' so I said yes...she says 'you are so young', I just replied with 'I'm not as young as I look' she asked how old, told her...her response then was 'you look lovely!'. Quite a strange experience tbh, but I think she was trying to be nice!

I tend to just smile at people who stare! Throws them off a bit!

Really hate it when young mums do behave badly though...obivously mums of all ages do, but it just adds to the stigma attached to all of us...I saw one girl telling people in wh smith to 'fuck off' and get the fuck out of her way....like including an elderly man. It's people like that that give us all a bad name...and I find myself when in public trying my best to be the opposite of any stereotype people might have! x


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## TattiesMum

annawrigley said:


> Yeah I get the "are you still with the father" as well :roll: UGH RUDE!

I know! I mean - would YOU go up to some complete stranger and ask them that? It just beggars belief :wacko: :hugs:


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## zoe6660

i think people ask coz deep down they jealous that teens can raise a baby these days.
good on you ladies for raise a life :D
and if anyone ask u say to them, it dont bother u, they trying to pass they problem onto you and that makes u feel shitty knowing your a young mother. but really it havnt bothered you when u give birth and feeding and changing your child everyday so dont worry.
good on you.


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