# What did you do to reduce the chances and degree of tearing?



## NoodleSnack

I'm not so nervous about the birth as I do about tearing and the recuperation later. I know at birth, the adrenalin will take over and I won't feel it much, but afterward, that's what scares me. Some women have said not to worry, but I would rather be prepared and try to prevent it if I can.

Did you do anything to prevent/reduce tearing? Or wish you had? Did it help? Do you think your midwife/Ob did something to help or worsen the tearing before and during birth?


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## hubblybubbly

This may not help, but I did nothing to prevent tearing, but I did give birth in the water, with a no hands on approach. I had no tearing, just a graze. 
X


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## AmandaC

The tearing part was actually the one part I felt the most, regardless of adrenaline. You feel that ring of fire that you need to push past, and when you do, that's when some women tear. Ive heard there are some massage techniques you can do to prevent tearing, perineal massage maybe? I can't remember off the top of my head if that's it or not...


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## NaturalMomma

Not laying on my back to push, having my husband put a little pressure on the perineum as the head came out, using warm oil to help relax the perineum muscles.


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## DnJ

yikes, this freaks me outttt


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## Betheney

i hear perineum massage can help a great deal. I think i did perineum massage about 4 times during my third tri as i just couldn't be bothered. So i didn't really do anything to prevent tearing and guess i was just lucky that i didn't have any, just a tiny graze. I think you really need to make sure you LISTEN to the midwives, if they say don't push then DON'T PUSH! they are trying to save your little hoo haa for you. If the baby comes out too quickly then that's when you can have a tendency to tear, of course this isn't always the case and you can have tearing if you have a long pushing stage and no tearing with a short pushing stage, but letting baby fly out too quickly can definitely result in tearing. Although during a first labour your chances of the baby coming out too quickly are smaller.

I wish the adrenaline conquered the pain of labour, but no. I felt it all and it was brutal.


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## amjon

My daughter came out quickly, but I was in a position that was comfortable for me (not the doctor). I didn't get anything, even a tiny graze. I was fine right after birth going to the restroom.


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## Shadowy Lady

great thread I would like to know as well. My mom didn't have any tearing having us and I guess she may have just been lucky.


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## fides

NoodleSnack said:


> I'm not so nervous about the birth as I do about tearing and the recuperation later. I know at birth, the adrenalin will take over and I won't feel it much, but afterward, that's what scares me. Some women have said not to worry, but I would rather be prepared and try to prevent it if I can.
> 
> Did you do anything to prevent/reduce tearing? Or wish you had? Did it help? Do you think your midwife/Ob did something to help or worsen the tearing before and during birth?

i didn't do anything to prevent it, other than waiting to push and birthing in warm water, but when i did push, baby came out in that 1 push, so i guess i pushed too hard b/c i ended up with a 1st degree tear. :shrug: recuperation for me was a week of bed rest to prevent re-tearing, but everything healed fine and isn't an issue now, so even if you do tear, it isn't the end of the world like i thought it would be - it is a manageable pain during recovery. As for what i may wish to do differently this time, i don't know yet...


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## Scaredy cat

I kept telling the midwife "I don't want to tear tell me what to do" witha hysterical tinge to my voice :) I'd had the epidural so I was concious of maybe not being fully aware of teraing, however I felt everything when it became time to push.
She was fantastic though, told me when to pant, when to push, when to stop and breathe, and I credit my graze free vagina to her coaching.
Hopefully i'll get someone as good this time around :D


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## JadeBaby75

I ended up with a c-section, but I remember when i asked my doctors what I could do to prevent it he said really nothing would. He said you can try to massage and stretch the area (perineum massage) and that may help but there was really nothing I could do to prevent it. IDK if I believe him all the way but that's what he told me! :thumbup:


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## JayDee

Not really the sort of answer you want but.... let the midwife do an episiotomy (cut) rather than tear. I figured that would be more controlled and be easier to tidy up afterwards. Just had a few stitches which were sore for about a week, could have been a lot worse I figure.


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## Betheney

during my birthing classes we were told they don't really so episiotomies at my hospital. When i said i thought it was better because they're easier to stitch and heal better. She said that in a very large amount of the time they were performed because the medical professional was certain they would tear. But then they stopped performing them and all the women they assumed were moments from tearing didn't end up tearing and if they did the tear was alot shallower than what the cut would have been.

So they aren't standard practice anymore at my hospital for the reason that the mother is about to tear :shrug: Dont' know how different this is to other hospitals.


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## teal

An episiotomy doesn't always stop against tearing. I had an episiotomy but also had a seperate 3rd degree tear. I had an emergency forceps delivery so it was out with my control xx


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## goddess25

First time around I had a pretty bad tear...no details needed. I did nothing to prevent it but it my son had shoulder dystocia so there was nothing much I could do about it at the time...in hindsight I know that positional changes would help.

Second time I did massage...and while in labour my daughter was presenting the same way. I spent alot of time moving and rocking and she moved...I also gave birth on all 4s.


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## 2016

I did lots of massage and still got a 2nd degree tear with DS and a graze at the top - little monkey! Fortunately I didn't really feel it happen despite having no pain relief whatsoever. :shrug: I made sure my first pee was in the shower (as per the MWs rather clever suggestion) gross but having a stream of water really helped. I dreaded my first poop but it didn't hurt at all.
I bought some tea tree wipes, kept them chilled and used them to wipe after using the loo for a couple of weeks afterwards. Very soothing and helped things heal nicely. :thumbup:
Sex was quite painful/uncomfortable for a while as the scar tissue was quite rigid but it eventually loosened up with some gentle persuasion and lots of lube. Possibly TMI but, after trying with DH and finding it painful a couple of times and having to stop, I decided to buy a soft jelly dildo and gently get the area accustomed to erm...activity again at my own pace without feeling like I was turning sex into a bad thing or disappointing hubby.

Regardless, it was a tiny price to pay for my most awesome little boy. :cloud9:


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## xx~Lor~xx

I had a water birth with my second, and had no tearing, not even a graze. Even though it was my second, I believe being in the water really helped me to not tear, with my first I did tear, wasn't a water birth, but it wasn't stitched (it probably should have been but i was terrified and begged them to tell me I didnt need them)

I honestly believe the most important thing that helps stop tearing or at least makes tearing less severe is LISTENING to your midwife when you are giving birth. When she says push, PUSH, when she says hold it, HOLD IT, when she says stop, STOP, little pushes, big pushes etc etc, she's there to guide you to deliver your child with the least amount of impact on your body. I listened to my midwife both times and first had only a little tear, and nothing with my second.


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## NoodleSnack

Thanks everyone. will keep the suggestions in mind. My midwife suggests massage as well, thought she said to do it in the third trimester. Not sure about the logistic yet, may have to have hubby's help by then.


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## Lizzie K

JayDee said:


> Not really the sort of answer you want but.... let the midwife do an episiotomy (cut) rather than tear. I figured that would be more controlled and be easier to tidy up afterwards. Just had a few stitches which were sore for about a week, could have been a lot worse I figure.

Episiotomies are worse than tears. Plus, getting cut can cause worse tears. It follows the same logic of cutting a piece of fabric so you can tear it easier. I had an episiotomy with my oldest and it was a lot worse than the natural tears I had with my next two, healing wise. 

As far as trying not to tear, lying flat on your back increases your chances of tearing. I would suggest trying different positions, lying on your side, on your hands and knees, or squatting. Water birth also helps.


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## Lief

My little guy was impatient and came out in 2 pushes. I had an episiotomy (sp?) because my LO was showing a bit of distress on the monitor but as soon as he came out he was fine. I had 2 stitches and pee'd with no problems about 2 hours later. 
The only time I felt sore was after walking for a few hours (I know it was silly) and lifting some bags of logs for a bbq two days after my LO was born. A bit of rest and a warm salt bath really helped. I took two painkillers after my bath and went to bed and I was fine again the next day.


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## HollySSmith

I did perineal message with my first and made my mw promise that unless there was imminent danger she wold not cut me (she laughed). When pushing I listened to my mw, it took two hours but I only had a minor graze and no stitches. So please listen to your doc/mw, they can give you the best info as to when you need to give your body a chance to adjust. My mw also used warm clothes to apply counter pressure when ds was crowning...unfortunately the piles were terrible afterwards, but I had no other problems!


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## gretavon

I tore with #1 son and got 3 stitches. It hurt to go pee pee but motrin and hemerroid pads on the wound really take most of the pain away so even if you do it's not that bad. And at my 6 week check up my dr even joked "are you sure you had a baby? Man, I did a hell of a stitch job!" oh he is a sweet man I wish he hadn't moved.


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## Farida_2013

amjon said:


> My daughter came out quickly, but I was in a position that was comfortable for me (not the doctor). I didn't get anything, even a tiny graze. I was fine right after birth going to the restroom.

what position was that Amjon? :)


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## Marie131

With my first birth, I had a very minor tear. I believe my m/w called it a "skid mark". She used compresses to help the area stretch. My next 2 births were both water births and I had absolutely no tearing. My m/w believes the water helps stretch the area and prevent tearing. All my babies were big too..


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## amjon

Farida_2013 said:


> amjon said:
> 
> 
> My daughter came out quickly, but I was in a position that was comfortable for me (not the doctor). I didn't get anything, even a tiny graze. I was fine right after birth going to the restroom.
> 
> what position was that Amjon? :)Click to expand...

I was on my angled back, kind of a seating standing positing with my legs on the bed. I was on the toilet when she first started crowning (or at least the sack first, then when I broke it her bottom).


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## mara16jade

Lizzie K said:


> JayDee said:
> 
> 
> As far as trying not to tear, lying flat on your back increases your chances of tearing. I would suggest trying different positions, lying on your side, on your hands and knees, or squatting. Water birth also helps.
> 
> Are there different positions you can be in if you have an epidural? Or are you only allowed to deliver on your back?Click to expand...


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## mara16jade

Just bumping my question at the end. 

So are there different positions you can be in if you have an epidural, or do you have to be on your back? 

Thanks for the input ladies. :)


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