# Read and Run!



## RebeccaG

Why is there so much reading and running in this forum?!! If you don't know what to say to offer any advice you can offer some hugs or positive thoughts! It isn't nice to see that sooooo many people have read your post but not responded! 
Sorry for rant am feeling very emotional at the moment! :cry::cry::cry:


----------



## Marleysgirl

:hugs:

(didn't want to R&R lol)

Now this is just my opinion, but I think that in this section, Mums/Dads tend to be talking about specific problems and stick to their own area of experience/expertise. Sometimes we have to open a thread to see what the question is, but then we can't actually help so we don't post. 

I guess what I'm saying is that posters in this section tend to be more focussed and less into platitudes ;)


----------



## sun

I agree with Marleysgirl - I don't post much because "special needs" covers so many different things and I know next to nothing about most of them. If I think I can help or offer something useful, or if someone is posting about their LO in general terms then I will. xx


----------



## Tegans Mama

This is also why I very very rarely ask for support in this section. I've written threads that poured my heart out in here before and had five billion r&rs and not a single reply. When you need that help, it's humiliating.


----------



## Lottie86

If the title doesn't make it clear what the question is I tend to open it, read it and then reply if I can help. I now absolutely nothing really about for example ASDs which a lot of threads are about so I don't like to reply. 

SN is always an 'odd' section as our LOs are all so different that depending on what our child's issues are sometimes there really is no one who can answer our questions. 

We don't seem to have the sort of closeness in here that you find in other 'specialist' areas of the forum ie the loss sections, preemie section etc but again I think it's down to things being so varied with our children


----------



## Lottie86

Lea: you always know where I am if you need me :hugs::hugs:


----------



## sophxx

Remember some of those reads are guest views so they can't reply.


----------



## RebeccaG

Yeh I can understand that - fair point. I just felt that so many people had read my thread but only a couple of people responded. I guess I was looking for support as well as answers to my questions.


----------



## hopeandpray

:hugs: I am always afraid to leave just hugs in case the OP sees that there's a reply to the thread and thinks I have useful information for them. :hugs: it's not that people don't care.


----------



## Tegans Mama

I know it's different but I think it's similar to the loss section. It makes me angry that people come in here to read our threads (which are sometimes VERY personal eg continence issues), read them, think "aww poor kid" or think "glad THAT's not me!" and then move along. I don't post anymore because I feel like my life is a freakshow or a spectator sport. I haven't brought it up with the mods or admin but I feel it's unfair that the loss sections have no view count but we do in here. :shrug:


----------



## Tegans Mama

Scratch that, I have bought it up with admin. Hope they can help by removing the post count :)


----------



## LoveleeB

I agree with you, Tegans Mama, I also wish this section were locked so it isn't just "entertainment" for some...


----------



## Tegans Mama

I agree entirely tho I'm sure that won't happen. It just really pisses me off that people are insensitive enough to actually read our heartfelt threads for shits and giggles and then move along. Maybe they don't have anything to say but an acknowledgement would be nice!


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

Wow lea so true. I agree and sometimes I dont want to post as people just think thank god thats not me :(

I wish it could be a private section or at the very least no post count x


----------



## Marleysgirl

I've never been in the loss section, so I didn't realise that it had no "view count". I would agree that it would be a really good idea for this section.


----------



## Tegans Mama

There was a lot of fuss made a while back about people reading the threads and not commenting, which is exactly what is happening on here x


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

I hope the mods read this as I have alot of issues I would like to address but I dont like every willy nilly seeing if they dont need too :(


----------



## Tegans Mama

Send a PM hun. the more of us that complain the more likely it is they'll do something about it :)


----------



## immie

Although i have no relation to this section of bnb i do care very much for those that do. So i just wanted to offer cuddles:hugs: lots of love and kind thoughts to all that are going through really tough times with issues raised on the special needs thread:flower: I know it doesn't help in any way but it's nice to hear a few kind words now and again xxx


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

Thanks xxx

I will do TM xxx


----------



## YoshiPikachu

Yeah I know what you mean.


----------



## AP

I wish the view count would be removed everywhere tbh, no matter what forum section you are on someone always complains about R&R. Im not in here a lot, but i feel in the preemie section(where i am most of the time) people come and gawp at what their babies 'look' like now. And i hate that.


----------



## Marleysgirl

AtomicPink said:


> I wish the view count would be removed everywhere tbh, no matter what forum section you are on someone always complains about R&R. Im not in here a lot, but i feel in the preemie section(where i am most of the time) people come and gawp at what their babies 'look' like now. And i hate that.

Do they? I never noticed!


----------



## AP

Yeah, when I was pregnant there was always random folk checking out the VIP thread and weirdly enough, the preg after prem thread. It began to worry some of us.


----------



## DanielleM

Do you know what I have just looked at the numbers on the threads and I am actually shocked at how many views loads of the threads have had and very very few actual replys. It does look like some people do come in here to have a nosey and see how bad some of our lives our which is really sad. Tbh I come in here probably once a month and see if anybody had any questions/worrys about Cerebral Palsy and I have had a few people come to me about MCADD but just to read out of pure entertainment makes me mad :growlmad:.


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

:(


----------



## Tegans Mama

DanielleMitch said:


> Do you know what I have just looked at the numbers on the threads and I am actually shocked at how many views loads of the threads have had and very very few actual replys. It does look like some people do come in here to have a nosey and see how bad some of our lives our which is really sad. Tbh I come in here probably once a month and see if anybody had any questions/worrys about Cerebral Palsy and I have had a few people come to me about MCADD but just to read out of pure entertainment makes me mad :growlmad:.

They do. It makes me sad and angry because the people in this part of the forum are so in need of support, but no one wants to post anything personal because so many people just come in and read stuff and move along. :shrug:


----------



## RebeccaG

I'm glad it's not just me that feels like this. How do we PM admin?


----------



## Marleysgirl

Wobbles is the Admin. If you go back to the Special Needs support page (where the threads are listed), she is named at the top. Click on her name, it will open her profile. Partway down that page is a little dropdown option of "Send Message" and you can select to send a PM (private message).

I've just done this, pointed her to this thread, and explained that I'd like to see the Views count switched off. I don't think I want the Special Needs area locked out though, as personally I think that would (a) dissuade new parents, (b) cause increased administration through the approvals process, and (c) contribute to the misapprehension that Special Needs is something odd, rather than normal.


----------



## lilbumpblue

Aww Rebecca dont know your background but hope ur ok. Please feel free to pm me if you like even if im just another pair of ears and a little comment back. Keep smiling hun x x


----------



## Karlie06

Hi all! I see what you mean about read and runs - so many views and not so many replies. I agree that this section should be private as often people are posting very intimate personal feelings and experiences and don't want people coming to nosy and clear off thinking "glad that's not my life!" with no intention of being any help of any sort! Sorry if it sounds like I'm ranting it just makes me angry:shrug:


----------



## LoveleeB

Sometimes I get the feeling that some women are in this forum just passing the time while they are pregnant or their babies are napping! I know I shouldn't pass judgment but life is hard enough without being someone's "reality" show. I just wonder how they would feel if the tables were turned...


----------



## Karlie06

LoveleeB said:



> Sometimes I get the feeling that some women are in this forum just passing the time while they are pregnant or their babies are napping! I know I shouldn't pass judgment but life is hard enough without being someone's "reality" show. I just wonder how they would feel if the tables were turned...

Couldn't agree more!


----------



## Nathyrra

I rarely write in this section, simply because the few times I have. I've had very little interest in what I have to say so I just don't.

It's the other sections tbh that upset me quite alot. Like you read threads from people hoping to god they wont have a baby like yours. and the support reading something like 'I'm sure your baby will be normal' or 'my friends friend had this happen and the baby turned out normal' Wtf is so great about 'normal' anyway? wtf does that even mean.. I guess it's the nature of the beast but it riles me up. I feel like I have to defend my son at every turn.

I do think it would be great if this section was private though.


----------



## Karlie06

Nathyrra said:


> I rarely write in this section, simply because the few times I have. I've had very little interest in what I have to say so I just don't.
> 
> It's the other sections tbh that upset me quite alot. Like you read threads from people hoping to god they wont have a baby like yours. and the support reading something like 'I'm sure your baby will be normal' or 'my friends friend had this happen and the baby turned out normal' Wtf is so great about 'normal' anyway? wtf does that even mean.. I guess it's the nature of the beast but it riles me up. I feel like I have to defend my son at every turn.
> 
> I do think it would be great if this section was private though.

I agree with every single word you have said!:thumbup:


----------



## JASMAK

Nathyrra said:


> I rarely write in this section, simply because the few times I have. I've had very little interest in what I have to say so I just don't.
> 
> It's the other sections tbh that upset me quite alot. Like you read threads from people hoping to god they wont have a baby like yours. and the support reading something like 'I'm sure your baby will be normal' or 'my friends friend had this happen and the baby turned out normal' Wtf is so great about 'normal' anyway? wtf does that even mean.. I guess it's the nature of the beast but it riles me up. I feel like I have to defend my son at every turn.
> 
> I do think it would be great if this section was private though.

OMG...ME TOO!!! I am ALWAYS defending my child and others who have a special need...just trying to make people aware...which just pisses people off. Why is it so hard to just consider the fact that the mom at the grocery store with the 'naughty' child might have a hidden dissability? Geez!! Sometimes I think I am too sensitive to go in other forums. 

That all being said...I never noticed the view counts before, but now I am kind of upset about it. :( I don't want my daughter's struggles (and mine) to be someone else's entertainment or worse, their way of making their own lives seem better. Makes me want to cry.


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

JASMAK said:


> Nathyrra said:
> 
> 
> I rarely write in this section, simply because the few times I have. I've had very little interest in what I have to say so I just don't.
> 
> It's the other sections tbh that upset me quite alot. Like you read threads from people hoping to god they wont have a baby like yours. and the support reading something like 'I'm sure your baby will be normal' or 'my friends friend had this happen and the baby turned out normal' Wtf is so great about 'normal' anyway? wtf does that even mean.. I guess it's the nature of the beast but it riles me up. I feel like I have to defend my son at every turn.
> 
> I do think it would be great if this section was private though.
> 
> OMG...ME TOO!!! I am ALWAYS defending my child and others who have a special need...just trying to make people aware...which just pisses people off. Why is it so hard to just consider the fact that the mom at the grocery store with the 'naughty' child might have a hidden dissability? Geez!! Sometimes I think I am too sensitive to go in other forums.
> 
> That all being said...I never noticed the view counts before, but now I am kind of upset about it. :( I don't want my daughter's struggles (and mine) to be someone else's entertainment or worse, their way of making their own lives seem better. Makes me want to cry.Click to expand...


You sound like me! :thumbup:


----------



## RebeccaG

I think if we can all message the admin and say our concerns that might help?


----------



## Marleysgirl

RebeccaG said:


> I think if we can all message the admin and say our concerns that might help?

Already have done!

Wobbles said that she'd look into it, though she pointed out that some of the "read & runs" could well be the original poster coming back every few hours/days to see whether anybody has responded.


----------



## DanielleM

Marleysgirl said:


> RebeccaG said:
> 
> 
> I think if we can all message the admin and say our concerns that might help?
> 
> Already have done!
> 
> Wobbles said that she'd look into it, though she pointed out that some of the "read & runs" could well be the original poster coming back every few hours/days to see whether anybody has responded.Click to expand...

That may be the case which can account for maybe 10-20 views but just taking a random thread about Autism obsession which has had 2,600 views and 30 replys. I very much doubt the OP has been back to the thread 2,600 times!! The views and replys just do not add up.

I posted a thread about Poems for disabled mums and no it is not a personal thread to me but it has had over 1,000 views, and I don't think there are 1,000 mums to special needs kids that use this part of the forum.


----------



## sun

DanielleM said:


> Marleysgirl said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> RebeccaG said:
> 
> 
> I think if we can all message the admin and say our concerns that might help?
> 
> Already have done!
> 
> Wobbles said that she'd look into it, though she pointed out that some of the "read & runs" could well be the original poster coming back every few hours/days to see whether anybody has responded.Click to expand...
> 
> *That may be the case which can account for maybe 10-20 views but just taking a random thread about Autism obsession which has had 2,600 views and 30 replys. I very much doubt the OP has been back to the thread 2,600 times!! The views and replys just do not add up.*
> 
> I posted a thread about Poems for disabled mums and no it is not a personal thread to me but it has had over 1,000 views, and I don't think there are 1,000 mums to special needs kids that use this part of the forum.Click to expand...

:shock: I never really saw it in that way before. I always assume that non-members come in, look and leave. Lots of things I google take me to BnB threads so I didn't really think about it. I definitely don't like the idea of people coming in to compare/lessen their own worries about their kids by reading the posts here. :nope: Then again, I did lots of R&R when we were first getting assessed and I didn't know where to post or where I fit in. I still don't to a certain extent - I feel suspended between toddlers and here.

Thank you for posting this thread though - it has made me think and instead of R&R when I am out of my element, I am trying to offer support and at the very least hugs to the poster so they know people care and are listening. Thank you for that. x


----------



## LoveleeB

I know how you feel Sun. I feel the same, not sure if I fit in the toddler section or this section as I don't have any diagnosis yet. You are probably right though, some read and runs are likely people with concerns that are looking for more information and others who are just looking for an "interesting" read.


----------



## RebeccaG

I have messaged admin but no reply...


----------



## Tegans Mama

I messaged admin & got the same reply as marleysgirl. 

I'm probably alone in this but I actually feel I have no where on the forum to post now. I dont start threads in here because it's too visible to others. I dont feel Tegan is a toddler.. 
I dunno. I guess I just don't fit in lol


----------



## LoveleeB

Tegans Mama said:


> I messaged admin & got the same reply as marleysgirl.
> 
> I'm probably alone in this but I actually feel I have no where on the forum to post now. I dont start threads in here because it's too visible to others. I dont feel Tegan is a toddler..
> I dunno. I guess I just don't fit in lol

I feel the same. I have a concern I want to post but am afraid to do so.


----------



## Marleysgirl

I post all over the place! I stick stuff in the Prem forum if I think Mums of other premmies might be able to help; I'll post in here if it's specific about my son's needs and figure I might get an experienced or informative response; I'll post in the toddler forum to get a comparison against other children of the same age, to work out how he differs; and I'll even hide stuff in BnB Extra if I don't want everyone to see me breaking down :rofl:

Tegan's Mama - you might not, but I definitely think of Tegan as a toddler now even if she's not that mobile!! Same goes for Lottie's boy Findlay :)

LoveleeB - please don't feel afraid to post. :hugs:


----------



## AirForceWife7

I never read and run in here. Even if I don't know what to say, I at least leave a hug. Makes me feel like I can comfort somebody during a hard time. My mom works with children with special needs. Anywhere from handicapped, down syndrome, and autistic kids. It is such a challenge for her working with them, but I can't imagine the hurdles one must cross when raising a child with special needs. You all are amazing :flower:

It's a shame people read & run ... if only they knew :nope:


----------



## lilbumpblue

hey ladies hugs to you all. Just wanted to point out that i posted early on in this thread and i get a notification to say there has been a new post so quite a lot of the views could be possibly down to that. x X x


----------



## RebeccaG

Looks like view counts have been removed!!! :)


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

LoveleeB said:


> I know how you feel Sun. I feel the same, not sure if I fit in the toddler section or this section as I don't have any diagnosis yet. You are probably right though, some read and runs are likely people with concerns that are looking for more information and others who are just looking for an "interesting" read.

course you fit in here xxx


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

RebeccaG said:


> Looks like view counts have been removed!!! :)

:thumbup:


----------



## Marleysgirl

Yay :happydance: Thank you Wobbles & co for listening to us.


----------



## sam2eb

I am guilty of this and I apologise.

I have concerns regarding my son (autism) but because we are still waiting on our appointment with the paediatric development team I don't really feel like I can post here.

I'm sorry x


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

I posted here before diagnosis, please dont feel like you can not post without diagnosis xxx


----------



## RebeccaG

I'm posting without a diagnosis - it's a way of keeping me sane while I'm waiting for scan results. Well we sort of have a diagnosis now of epilepsy but am still waiting on MRI results. So of course you can post. This forum is amazing for support I have found. xx


----------



## Novabomb

I agree that is why we are here because we need advise or like somone else said just a hug would be nice :hugs:


----------



## lisa35

I have been guilty of reading and running but only because I am trying to find out as much information as I can about different types of learning difficulties etc. It's all new to me so just a learner, lol. And i don't have enough experience to respond, sorry :blush:


----------

