# Why do you want a baby so bad? My story is LONG



## MelliPaige

Here's why I want a baby at 20 years old AKA how he changed my entire life

My senior year of high school my aunt received custody of a beautiful baby boy, she is unable to have children of her own and had prayed for this little blue eyed angel. However, no matter how bad she wanted a baby she absolutely wasn't ready at all, she and her husband worked 5 jobs between them and still had a tremendous debt that they absolutely had to pay off.......

well all that doesn't matter, the part of the story that does matter is that my mom volunteered me to babysit for them, FOR FREE! Back then I would have never accepted that on my own, watching a 2 week old drug addicted baby wasnt worth my time if I wasn't getting paid! My babysitting schedule was Monday-Friday all day except Wednesday and Thursday nights and Friday mornings. My mom did take care of him during my school hours, but homework or not I was expected home at 3:15 to take over. At first it was a huge nightmare, i was a virgin why should I be a teen mom? But the times I had free I found myself thinking about my stinker more and more and wanted to see him go less and less and on his 2nd month birthday I was totally in love! 

I lived breathed and thought about him 24/7 and missed him intensely when he left. My aunt was a good mom and everything so don't bash her, she just couldn't find the time for him, she found out an hour before he got there that she was even getting him. Both of our lives were completely shaken up! 

Just a week shy of his 11 month birthday my aunt paid off one of her debt and handed her husband the reigns, she was ready to be a stay at home mommy and just as fast as he was brought into my life he was ripped out :(

Now he's 3 and they are never home and I get to see him once in maybe 6 months, and even then it breaks my heart because he doesn't remember me. He won't give me his sweet kisses or hugs or even talk to me (too shy). I miss my little guy so bad, but at least he's in good hands with her and having a happy life :)

He's the whole reason I even want baby's so bad, and probably why I want to be completely ready so I don't hand him off and miss so much of my baby's life. 

So that's my super duper long story that I could have probably wrote with less words, what's your story?


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## brenn09

Your story is heart-warming and heart-wrenching all at once! :hugs:

I like this because we all have a story, even if it is a short and sweet one. 

Mine is that six months after we got married, while I was studying for the GRE and working full time to prepare for grad school, I started having pregnancy symptoms- nausea/vomiting, super bloat, missing period (although I was on birth control so this wasn't that big of a deal), etc. I took a test, it was negative. Weeks later, the symptoms were still there but I wasn't getting a positive test and had accepted the fact that something else was going on. At first, though, OH and I took several days to wrap our minds around bringing a new baby into a way less than ideal situation. He was happy, I was happy. We were ready to do this, albeit in a completely unplanned way. Several negative tests, but symptoms still present I went to the doctor and she found a cyst that was "tricking" my body into believing it was pregnant. 

I grieved as though I lost a baby, because I had a baby in my mind. I had the hopes, dreams, and plans... and I lost them all. It isn't the same as a miscarriage but it devastated me. March of the next year, when I would have been due, was the worst month of my life. 

It has been two and a half years since that date. I've gotten a career going, my OH has a new career, we are almost ready to buy a new home, and my master's degree is almost completed. We are finally ready to take the ttc plunge next month. I honestly didn't think this would ever happen. :cloud9:


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## MelliPaige

brenn09 said:


> Your story is heart-warming and heart-wrenching all at once! :hugs:
> 
> I like this because we all have a story, even if it is a short and sweet one.
> 
> Mine is that six months after we got married, while I was studying for the GRE and working full time to prepare for grad school, I started having pregnancy symptoms- nausea/vomiting, super bloat, missing period (although I was on birth control so this wasn't that big of a deal), etc. I took a test, it was negative. Weeks later, the symptoms were still there but I wasn't getting a positive test and had accepted the fact that something else was going on. At first, though, OH and I took several days to wrap our minds around bringing a new baby into a way less than ideal situation. He was happy, I was happy. We were ready to do this, albeit in a completely unplanned way. Several negative tests, but symptoms still present I went to the doctor and she found a cyst that was "tricking" my body into believing it was pregnant.
> 
> I grieved as though I lost a baby, because I had a baby in my mind. I had the hopes, dreams, and plans... and I lost them all. It isn't the same as a miscarriage but it devastated me. March of the next year, when I would have been due, was the worst month of my life.
> 
> It has been two and a half years since that date. I've gotten a career going, my OH has a new career, we are almost ready to buy a new home, and my master's degree is almost completed. We are finally ready to take the ttc plunge next month. I honestly didn't think this would ever happen. :cloud9:


I'm so happy you get to ttc so soon :) tons of baby dust and luck!

Mine recently got moved up to July 2013 and I'm super happy about that and to have a fiancé that wants a baby almost as much as I do!

I keep freaking myself out though because as bad as I was a child I don't want to be put in my aunts situation so I want to save save save and pay off all our debts. We can all but the house paid off by July, and I keep freaking out about that and wanting to work my butt off and pay the house off before we try. Jeez I talk to much.


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## brenn09

You definitely don't talk too much for this board! That would be impossible! You're not saying anything we don't think or feel too! :hugs: I'm glad you moved your date up! Congrats on getting the house paid off- I haven't even bought one yet, lol! I get the freaking out about money- we do the same! Even when there isn't a reason to freak out :haha:


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## Rachelle351

I'm still kind of wondering where mine came from. I was abused as a child, and I never wanted kids, because I was scared to death that I was going to treat them the way my mom treated me. Also there is lots and lots and lots of favorism is my family. There are 3 boys (including my dad) and a girl in my dads family. and two girls (including my mom) in my moms family. Well my aunt on my mom side, never had any kids, so we were my grandmas only grandkids, and we were spoiled rotten by her. She passed away a month before my 11th birthday. My grandma on my dads side acted (still does) like we never existed. A few years ago, I sent her a letter explaining everything I felt. She came back with the excuse that she didn't want to take away from my other grandma, because we were her only grandkids. Lame excuse because my grandma died 16 years ago. Anyway, theres a total of 10 grandkids from my dads side. Uncle M's kids were the most spoiled, Uncle R never had any kids, and my aunts kids were spoiled as well. As far as buying them cars. We never even got christmas or birthday cards. We got jibbed really badly. ANYWAYS. My dad now has a nasty habit of favoring some of his kids and grandkids. I have two older sisters, I am the youngest. My oldest sister and I are the ones who don't matter. My middle sister is doted upon. Growing up, everything was about her. Theres a lot of stuff I harbor against my dad. I'm working on it, but I still have resentment. Well she ended up having the first grandbaby. My nephew. He doesn't try to hide him favoring my middle sister AT ALL. Its pretty frustrating. But I have a niece by my oldest sister, and he doesn't do nearly as much for her as he does for my nephew. I feel bad for my oldest sister. I don't want my kids to grow up feeling the way I did. its a pretty lousey feeling. Anyways, I always said no. (I knew that I had to, I just kept putting it off) I honestly woke up one morning, and all I could think about was having a baby. Holding, nursing, cuddling a baby boy. I couldn't get it outta my mind. So thats that.... here we are, almost a month and half, I'll (fingers crossed) finally get a baby in my belly!!! 

((my husband has ALWAYS wanted a baby, and he'd been bugging me for about 2 years now, he was so excited when I told him yes))


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## MelliPaige

Rachelle351 said:


> I'm still kind of wondering where mine came from. I was abused as a child, and I never wanted kids, because I was scared to death that I was going to treat them the way my mom treated me. Also there is lots and lots and lots of favorism is my family. There are 3 boys (including my dad) and a girl in my dads family. and two girls (including my mom) in my moms family. Well my aunt on my mom side, never had any kids, so we were my grandmas only grandkids, and we were spoiled rotten by her. She passed away a month before my 11th birthday. My grandma on my dads side acted (still does) like we never existed. A few years ago, I sent her a letter explaining everything I felt. She came back with the excuse that she didn't want to take away from my other grandma, because we were her only grandkids. Lame excuse because my grandma died 16 years ago. Anyway, theres a total of 10 grandkids from my dads side. Uncle M's kids were the most spoiled, Uncle R never had any kids, and my aunts kids were spoiled as well. As far as buying them cars. We never even got christmas or birthday cards. We got jibbed really badly. ANYWAYS. My dad now has a nasty habit of favoring some of his kids and grandkids. I have two older sisters, I am the youngest. My oldest sister and I are the ones who don't matter. My middle sister is doted upon. Growing up, everything was about her. Theres a lot of stuff I harbor against my dad. I'm working on it, but I still have resentment. Well she ended up having the first grandbaby. My nephew. He doesn't try to hide him favoring my middle sister AT ALL. Its pretty frustrating. But I have a niece by my oldest sister, and he doesn't do nearly as much for her as he does for my nephew. I feel bad for my oldest sister. I don't want my kids to grow up feeling the way I did. its a pretty lousey feeling. Anyways, I always said no. (I knew that I had to, I just kept putting it off) I honestly woke up one morning, and all I could think about was having a baby. Holding, nursing, cuddling a baby boy. I couldn't get it outta my mind. So thats that.... here we are, almost a month and half, I'll (fingers crossed) finally get a baby in my belly!!!
> 
> ((my husband has ALWAYS wanted a baby, and he'd been bugging me for about 2 years now, he was so excited when I told him yes))

Your story makes me sad :( hugs from me! :) 
Tons and tons of baby dust!


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## xLeeBeex

For me, it's just a part of what I have to do, I won't be complete until I have children. I've always known I wanted to be a mum, and now I want it even more so because i've found Mr Right.

The reason we're waiting is because I don't want to have to struggle with money like me and my mum did. There was never a month where we weren't worrying and she was an alcoholic too which obviously sucked, and it was just me and her. Things were difficult, had some rough ol' times. But now, here I am, saving up for our first house so we can crack on with those baby making shenanigans and start creating our own little family.


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## angiepie

I don't have an interesting story. I just want a baby. I have thought a lot on this topic and can only think of why I shouldn't have a baby. For example:

They suck up your free time
They make you poorer
There's so much potential for things to go wrong or to ruin the baby's life or your life
Responsibility
Fear- what if your baby dies, MC etc or divorce, ruining the family
It's selfish of us to have kids to make US happy and so WE an love and feel loved
The baby didn't ask to be born
The baby has no say into which environment etc it is born into

Despite ALL these things I have a biological urge telling me to have kids. :| and it's something I grapple with frequently. If I could switch off my biological urge, I would. And I'd enjoy being a childless couple forever who can go on expensive holidays. :D but unfortunately I'm stuck this way and I love pregnancy, babies and kids. :wacko:


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## Pandora11

God that is such a sad story, i can't believe they haven't let you be a part of his life :(



I was an abused and neglected kid. left home at 16 and moved in with adult half siblings where i was treated more or less like a lodger than a family member. I never wanted kids because i wanted to spend time on me, i missed out on my childhood, teenage years and early 20s to go to work and look after myself, but when i met my OH(DH of almost 1month) i all of a sudden wanted a family. (I have no close family. just a couple of ppl that i make small talk with and a couple of cousins on facebook that kind of thing) I'd been all alone apart from OH for so long and want a family to love and that loved me back - something i never had. Anyway, we planned for a baby 3yrs into our relationship and i got pregnant really easily and then had a mmc discovered at 12wk scan. We were devastated like any couple but it was such a shock since i had major symptoms until after the mmc and my gp and midwife and anyone else who knew kept saying that means a healthy pregnancy, and it's all normal and there's nothing to worry about etc. I'd been reading about mc, i'm a negative person and believed i couldn't possibly have a baby since i never got anything i wanted, but as the weeks got closer to 12 weeks i was feeling more positive and then at almost 13 wks when i got my scan we saw no heartbeat. that was two years in Nov, but now we're in the position where we can't even afford a baby. :( so have no choice to wait.


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## MelliPaige

Pandora11 said:


> God that is such a sad story, i can't believe they haven't let you be a part of his life :(

I know, I miss him everyday. They travel a lot is why they are never home or I would be over every day. I see him holidays and i have babysat in a few emergencies but other than that they have another babysitter for his regular one and I don't get to see him. As much as I volunteer they think they are doing me a favor by letting me have my free time.


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