# Seriously, Don't Visit Me In The Hospital After I Give Birth



## Wobbles

Instead of dealing with visitors after I give birth, I should be able to sleep and be alone with the person that I spent nine months growing.

Click HERE!

From a Mum third time round.

So what do you think?


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## nordicpixie83

I totally agree . Those first few days you are sore either down below or from a section . Your milk comes in , you're having after pains , you're trying to get baby into some sort of feeding routine. Your tearful and leaking from more places than you'd care to admit . On top of thst A row of outstretched arms from relatives wanting to hug your precious baby is just too much to cope with . :haha:


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## WackyMumof2

Other than hubby and the kids, I refuse to have visitors for 24 hours. Grandparents and our siblings in the first week only then everyone else by appointment. I don't deal with drop in visitors with a baby even if it's family. I've just had a baby so they can ring and see if it's a good time first!


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## Reiko_ctu

I would appreciate the sentiment of wanting to visit, with the disclaimer they want to give me space. If no one wanted to visit me I'd be sad haha.


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## MrsPow

Totally agree! Last thing I wanted on my last 2 were visitors-didn't stop them coming tho!hoping this time around to be left alone x


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## LoraLoo

I dont mind visitors. Day after Nellie was born we were out for a pub lunch ha, with 6 kids, life doesnt pause for us so visitors makes no odds! Nobody should ever feel they should have to have visitors though, Mums decision every time


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## Flossie27

I think if it's visitors who care about you and support you, it's fine. People who just come nosing, no. But no one should have visitors if they don't want to. I was gutted my mum couldn't come as she was ill when I gave birth (I was equally grateful she had the common sense and wait till she was better before she came).


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## laura109

I agree unless you ask for visitors it's nice to able to take them in and rest. With my first my sister and her partner came. Absolutely can't complain as I was totally up for a hours visit and I was excited to show her off. But I started to feel rubbish whilst they were sat around the bed. I remember feeling sickly and drained and my body was screaming for sleep. I had been awake for the best part of 48 hours as I had a snorer in the ward the first night followed by labour the next night. They used to keep you in hospital a few days in the UK but now it's usually one night if that and off you go home. Once your home everybody wants to come over and you spend the first week having to get up dressed and make drinks for visitors. Then I remember day 3 having horrible night sweats eurghhh


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## Missbb2591

Whilst I&#8217;m in the hospital the only people I want to visit are my mum and dad everyone else can wait til I get home. I think it&#8217;s totally up to the mum who she wants there and when, you never get those early days back and so it&#8217;s important you do it on your terms and you are comfortable with it whatever you decide.


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## jamiegrl24

Yeah....I remember with my first, I almost cried when my husband said his family was there. I was exhausted and didn't want to have to make small talk and navigate through the "how was labor? how do you feel? How long was it?" questions. Also. Handing over my brand new precious baby that I just spent 9 nine months waiting for made me want to freak out. Like...don't worry, I'll just sit here and watch you breath on my newborn. I'll sit righhhhht here and wait for you to give my baby back. Take your time. LOL. ARRRRGHHH! However, I was SO EXCITED when my mom and dad arrived and couldn't wait for them to hold her. I felt bad because I know my hubby was not pleased I was so excited for them but not his parents. Am I horrible?!


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## Bevziibubble

My family and MIL came to visit me in the hospital after giving birth and I didn't mind at all as it had been planned and they all said if I didn't want visitors then just to let them know. 
I have heard of people who don't want people in though and they just get a swarm of visitors descending on them and being quite intrusive. I think visitors are OK on the patient's say so and to be curtious and not outstay their welcome! :)


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## Missbb2591

Bevziibubble said:


> My family and MIL came to visit me in the hospital after giving birth and I didn't mind at all as it had been planned and they all said if I didn't want visitors then just to let them know.
> I have heard of people who don't want people in though and they just get a swarm of visitors descending on them and being quite intrusive. I think visitors are OK on the patient's say so and to be curtious and not outstay their welcome! :)

Completely agree


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## momwithbabies

People should respect what the mother wants and not get butt-hurt about it. People with a sensible brain and heart will understand. Also, make your husband tell people no if you&#8217;re uncomfortable. And if he whines about it, remind him what all you&#8217;ve been through. 

I also think this is true for the first weeks of life at home. People mean well, but if you&#8217;re not ready, it&#8217;s miserable. I had some postpartum depression going on after my kids, so seeing people wasn&#8217;t really my thing. My mom knew I was hanging on by a thread. She would bring me food and leave. I love her for that.


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## Bonnie11

my brother and sis in law came to the hospital to see me as did my friend which was nice as I was in there for 4 days after so was a bit bored! But when I got home I didn't want anyone around as I just needed some time to get used to things. I think I had maybe 4/5 people in the first 2-3 weeks which was fine. It was mid winter and snow everywhere so suited me to stay in! This time around I will be out and about much quicker though as I already have 1 that needs school run/entertaining so once hubby is back at work I guess I will be out and about!

It's made me much more conscious of other peoples babies though, if a friend has a baby I would pop round with a ready made meal and stay half an hour and disappear, the last thing you want is people hanging around for hours!


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## luz

Agreed. I love having visitors, but every time they come I couldnt wait to get them or the door. Im an anxious person and always worried about baby getting hungry and having to try to feed discretely or needing to get up to pee and leaking everywhere or peoplencoming over during the torpedo boob (engorgement phase). 

My MIL begged to let one of her friends come see us in the hospital because she vcares so much about us. I fought tooth and nail and said nope, she wont be visiting.


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## amytrisha

Visitors are fine as long as theyre planned visitors, there are nothing worse than unplanned guests - newborn or no newborn. 

However, all visitors must bring a balloon! :haha:


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## homegrown21

With our first we lived out of state, so everyone had to travel to come see us, which gave us about a day as a new family. We're back in our home state now and I definitely want to have a full day with my DH and newborn. Give me a chance to begin breastfeeding and rest. Between our families, they will be chomping at the bits to see our little one and with good reason. But at the same time, families need to be respectful if the new parents don't want any visitors for a few days.


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## homegrown21

amytrisha said:


> Visitors are fine as long as theyre planned visitors, there are nothing worse than unplanned guests - newborn or no newborn.
> 
> However, all visitors must bring a balloon! :haha:

There's nothing more I dislike then an unplanned visitor! the worst!


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## Twinkl3

I hate visitors at the best of times, never mind after just giving birth. I'm more of a visiting other people's houses kind of person haha. 

In all honesty our family are generally understanding. I don't like those family members though who want to come and cuddle baby even though you would never see them any other time! People like that are put on a waiting list, especially since when I did it with my daughter, my auntie came with a cold and passed it to DD who was 6 weeks old at the time. 

We've said this time were not seeing anyone really, DH has his 2wk paternity and my DD will be settling into having a new person in the house. We will be going seeing people when we are ready so that we can just leave whenever (both families have a habit of staying for hours at a time!)


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## iBeach

I am just newly pregnant, but I already know that I want all kinds of visitors! ALL OF THEM :happydance:
BUT........NOBODY is getting to hold my baby... NOBODY. :haha:


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## waiting2c

I have been wondering about this as I have some firm ideas of what I want and am not sure how it will go down with family, possibly even OH.

I will be having a section and I know from after my last one I felt gross, sore, uncomfortable and basically like I was unable to look after myself for the first 24 hours, and then just painful and tired after that. I had visitors and felt that I needed to "make the effort" to be presentable, slap that smile on and get on with it. This time round I want no-one but my husband and my 3 year old daughter when I am in hospital. My husbands teenage daughter has just come to live with us and I really don't even want her coming. I just want to let it all hang out for those days and I cant do that with MIL, SIL or Step Daughter around. I am worried it sounds selfish but it is me going through it all so I am hoping people will understand when told. There will be plenty of time for cuddles when we get home and I am in my own environment etc.


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## MollyMoon

Wobbles said:


> Instead of dealing with visitors after I give birth, I should be able to sleep and be alone with the person that I spent nine months growing.
> 
> Click HERE!
> 
> From a Mum third time round.
> 
> So what do you think?

Even though I will be doing this for the first time in 6 months... It definitely makes me think ahead lol... Makes perfect sense. Thank you for sharing!


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## sweetcheeks78

From the other side, I lost both my parents before my kids were born. We are a military family so had moved to a new town shortly before birth and we lived a long way from any extended family. Seeing all the grandparents and cousins come to cuddle the babies on the ward broke my heart. My only visitor was DH. I would have loved to see a friendly face.


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## sweetcheeks78

waiting2c said:


> I have been wondering about this as I have some firm ideas of what I want and am not sure how it will go down with family, possibly even OH.
> 
> I will be having a section and I know from after my last one I felt gross, sore, uncomfortable and basically like I was unable to look after myself for the first 24 hours, and then just painful and tired after that. I had visitors and felt that I needed to "make the effort" to be presentable, slap that smile on and get on with it. This time round I want no-one but my husband and my 3 year old daughter when I am in hospital. My husbands teenage daughter has just come to live with us and I really don't even want her coming. I just want to let it all hang out for those days and I cant do that with MIL, SIL or Step Daughter around. I am worried it sounds selfish but it is me going through it all so I am hoping people will understand when told. There will be plenty of time for cuddles when we get home and I am in my own environment etc.

Totally agree with this, except for the step-daughter bit. Will she not feel a bit excluded? How old is she? x


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## waiting2c

She is fifteen. I don&#8217;t want her to feel excluded but we don&#8217;t have the kind of relationship yet where I would feel comfortable &#8220;letting it all hang out&#8221; with her around.

Will be playing it by ear as to how I am, if I am doing better than I expect then it won&#8217;t be a problem.


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## drudai

Although I haven't nothing productive to add, and know this is just a 'my experience' spot... I'm still livid at a selfish friend who showed up unannounced/uninvited an hour after I gave birth. I was half dead, DH went to get me food, and I had sent baby to the nursery as I couldn't even hold my head up. I was dead asleep (first sleep in nearly 20 hours) and shaking, and she BANGS on my room door. Walks in uninvited.

I still have not forgiven her. She has come over to see him the day after we got home, and had her husband DROP HER OFF. She stayed until 9 pm. I was shaking mad. 

The only person I let visit me was my mom and that was because she had my son. They left shortly after. I'm cramping, bleeding, and sore... I really don't want to have to explain this to someone.


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