# Male valued more than female



## UC J

Some cultures place more importance on a male child than female child, in fact for some, when a woman hasnt given birth to a boy (like is somehow her fault:nope:) her place in the marriage is shaky, because a son carries on the name and daughter most of the time changes hers to her husbands. Which is very funny because most often than not, isnt it daughters that care more or make sure that Mum and Dad are doing O? (Provided it was a healthy and balanced family of course:))


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## I Love Lucy

I know some cultures do this because the male continues to carry the family name/line, where as the female will, most of the time, take on the male's last name and continue on his family name/line. I don't think this is as important here in America.


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## amamtl

In a lot of cultures women move with their husband and become part of their husban's family. Therefore, when you have male descendants, you make sure you have someone to care for. It's the case in China (and this explains why there are a lot of young girls for adoption as they can only have one child) and a lot of african tribes.

I would say that in Europe and America, the obsession about male descent is based on the idea that children will usually take on the name of their father and it ensures a descent for the family (a bit ridiculous if you ask me).

If you take India, girls cost A LOT to get married as the family as to pay the groom's family for the wedding. Therefore, a lot of girl descent means extra costs for the family while male descent means money coming in. On the opposite, in some parts of Africa, grooms have to pay the bride's family (usually in goats and cows) for the wedding. This is so because a wedding is perceived as a loss for the bride's family.

It's all dependent on the place society puts for women.


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## goddess25

We have a huge asian population here and in a lot of hospitals they no longer will tell you the sex of the baby as so many were aborting girls :(

I see the reasoning but without females every line would die out regardless.

Its very sad. My daughter is so different from my son and I love her with every ounce of my being.


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## Ravenrose08

Its very sad but i have heard that in some cultures they abandon newborn girls. Im so hoping for a girl but would any gender child that i give birth too :)


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## Pearls18

I find in Western culture girls are more valued than boys, not to the extent of the horror stories you hear with other cultures, but I just feel girls are the more popular sex...you only have to look on all the 'what gender do you want' polls to see this. I think boys are amazing though, I am greedy and want both ;)


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## teacup

It's ridiculous if people still blame the gender outcome on the mother. It is the father's sperm that determines the gender so marrying a different lady wouldn't make a difference. Wish we could go back in time and tell silly Henry the 8th and all the other kings that treated their wives badly when they weren't given a male heir. 

I would be happy with either sex, but would prefer at least one of each. :flower:


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## 2011butterfly

teacup said:


> It's ridiculous if people still blame the gender outcome on the mother. It is the father's sperm that determines the gender so marrying a different lady wouldn't make a difference. Wish we could go back in time and tell silly Henry the 8th and all the other kings that treated their wives badly when they weren't given a male heir.
> 
> I would be happy with either sex, but would prefer at least one of each. :flower:

I like what you have said made me smile :)

Sadly, there are cultures that want a son for the sake of carrying the family name. There are times were some people would love there own daughter less than they love there own son. This in the culture would be because the daughter would live her married life with the in-law family where as the son would stay with his parents. It's really sad, but still happens today.


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## UC J

I Love Lucy said:


> I know some cultures do this because the male continues to carry the family name/line, where as the female will, most of the time, take on the male's last name and continue on his family name/line. I don't think this is as important here in America.

Nope, not here in the states


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## UC J

goddess25 said:


> We have a huge asian population here and in a lot of hospitals they no longer will tell you the sex of the baby as so many were aborting girls :(
> 
> I see the reasoning but without females every line would die out regardless.
> 
> Its very sad. My daughter is so different from my son and I love her with every ounce of my being.

That is so sad :(


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## UC J

MarineWAG said:


> I find in Western culture girls are more valued than boys, not to the extent of the horror stories you hear with other cultures, but I just feel girls are the more popular sex...you only have to look on all the 'what gender do you want' polls to see this. I think boys are amazing though, I am greedy and want both ;)

:) i pray you get your wish , i have both and the experience is different for each


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## UC J

teacup said:


> It's ridiculous if people still blame the gender outcome on the mother. It is the father's sperm that determines the gender so marrying a different lady wouldn't make a difference. Wish we could go back in time and tell silly Henry the 8th and all the other kings that treated their wives badly when they weren't given a male heir.
> 
> I would be happy with either sex, but would prefer at least one of each. :flower:

Oh they still do , you would think giving all we all know now that it would be different ...


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## quaizer

I think these cultures are ridiculous. A new live is amazing regardless of sex. I always wanted a girl and now I have one Angel (My gut tells me she was a girl) I have two sons and one daughter and I idolise all of them. My mum works for the NHS and they had one case of a man trying to impregnate his wife an HOUR after giving birth to a girl as he was devestated he didnt get a son. My daughter is my special little Princess and I adore her <3. We are ttc #4 and I dont have preference, although my hubby would like another daughter <3.


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## amjon

DH is Indian, but comes from a part of India that has more respect for girls than some. We would be happy with either sex. Our first was a daughter and he was thrilled for our little girl. I have a feeling our rainbow will be a boy, but think deep down DH really wants a girl. I really want a girl to dress up/ do girl things with too, but also want a boy.


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## NaturalMomma

I think it is very sad that in today's world (and in the past) that women are basically discarded as nothing. Yet we're the ones that actually bring life into this world. Without women they wouldn't have these boys to carry on the name, or do the hard laboring work, etc. And without girls there wont' be anyone to even have babies with to carry on the name. I watched a documentary about how many Asian cultures give away girl babies (or worse) and how that is creating a problem because there are way too many boys per girls.


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## UC J

quaizer said:


> I think these cultures are ridiculous. A new live is amazing regardless of sex. I always wanted a girl and now I have one Angel (My gut tells me she was a girl) I have two sons and one daughter and I idolise all of them. My mum works for the NHS and they had one case of a man trying to impregnate his wife an HOUR after giving birth to a girl as he was devestated he didnt get a son. My daughter is my special little Princess and I adore her <3. We are ttc #4 and I dont have preference, although my hubby would like another daughter <3.

 after an hour ? That is absurd


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## UC J

NaturalMomma said:


> I think it is very sad that in today's world (and in the past) that women are basically discarded as nothing. Yet we're the ones that actually bring life into this world. Without women they wouldn't have these boys to carry on the name, or do the hard laboring work, etc. And without girls there wont' be anyone to even have babies with to carry on the name. I watched a documentary about how many Asian cultures give away girl babies (or worse) and how that is creating a problem because there are way too many boys per girls.

You know I think somehow the part about how the boys make it into this world is completely forgotten :nope:


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## JaanRuk

i feel as though i should put this out there but this is not the case in all asian families or indian/chinese households and this is not a problem which only pertains to asians this happens all over the world in every single race i can see it being a bigger issue within these communities because obviously they have the largest populations .. this is horrible what happens and yes it does happen this is a reality. i personally believe abortion is wrong period but this is a huge issue all over the world for whatever reason it may be in those countries perhaps its a womans life is in danger or here the more norm is someone was just not responsible enough anyways either way its wrong. i think each child is a precious gift regardless of gender not all asian families disregard females or value male children above females women in our culture are not objects is what im trying to say we value women just as much as men dont get the wrong idea this is all i seem to see is our culture being pinpointed as women being regarded so low but really this is not the case so i thought i should just put that out there...


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## JaanRuk

and to the people who think we have ridiculous cultures who are you to judge us?! thats like a slap across the face because of who we are. we have BEAUTIFUL cultures and we have BEAUTIFUL traditions thank you very much! we VALUE women and WOMEN ARE NOT DIRT TO US WOMEN ARE NOT OBJECTS IN OUR CULTURE INFACT WOMEN ARE HIGHLY RESPECTED CONTRARY TO YOUR BELIEFS OR EVERYTHING YOU HEAR AND READ THANK YOU VERY MUCH do you think we all are puppets seriously? we are women and we are strong thank you very much! you all hear about the most extreme cases which is portrayed everywhere including the media over and over automatically the first thing you think of when you think of us are horrible things well let me tell you YOU are WRONG. plenty of things happen in your own backyards we do not judge you as a whole people on it have a little more respect thanx.


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## mrspeanut

The OP didn't mention any specific cultures so I dont think this thread was intended to provoke a cultural/racial argument. I think it would be sad for it to turn into one. JaanRuk you make a brilliant point of saying "we have beautiful cultures and beautiful traditions" and all over the world we certainly do. On here we all come from different cultural backgrounds but i think we all feel a strong sense of equality, justice and fair representation. Bearing that in mind let's be mindful to not point the finger at specific cultures when we might not have the full picture. JaanRuk, I don't think anyone intended to cause offence. I find it is very interesting to be given a different perspective and to be educated; challenging those stereotypes. xxx


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## JaanRuk

I didnt find OP's post to be one either at all and i was not upset by the post itself i just found it incredibly sad that some replys believed our "cultures" were "ridiculous" instead of finding the specific practice which happens all over the world..of this gender aborting and the main issue to be ridiculous so i did find that a bit rude but i do agree with you 100%


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