# How bad is labour and birth...???



## CordeliaJ

I'm a bit scared to ask this because of the answers you girls might give, but I feel I have to ask anyway.
I want to know about labour and the pain of labour. I know every birth and pregnancy is different and I know that it's always painful in some way or other.

I guess what I really want to know is, is the pain of labour manageable? I know we will all manage and get through it, but does it actually feel manageable when you are going through it?
I once went through a horrible procedure in that area which I'd rather not talk about, and the pain was so awful I wanted to die, I was screaming and begging them to stop - that sort of pain for me is not manageable (despite the fact I somehow got through it), and it has scared me for life. I keep having anxiety attacks about labour and I don't even know which part is the worst.

Ladies, be honest with me, what should I expect? I need to prepare myself because one way or another I need to get through this. Thanks for any info or advice you can give me.


----------



## momto3kiddies

well like you said all women labor different as well as have different tolarance for pain but I have done this 4 times already and I will say for me its the most painful thing I have experienced. I have broken my ankle and needed screw and a plate and I have suffered gallstone attacks and that was nothing in comparison to labor for me. If you go into labor naturally is starts off totally manageable but as you progress it gets worse. I have always opted for some type of pain meds to deal and the stuff they put in the IV for me sucked but the epidural was heaven sent! my last baby I had an epidural and was laughing and watching tv with my hubby the whole time I labored, when it came time to push I felt nothing at all...was great! Now some woman do it natural with no drugs and feel that is best for them...more power to them...I wouldnt. I guess you just have to do whats best for you...dont worry about it too much once your in labor you can see how you handle it and what way you want to labor...whether with drugs or not you still end up with the same precious baby :cloud9:


----------



## katiefx

For me it was nowhere near as bad as I expected or as bad as anyone had made out. The pain is managable, even though at the time I was begging for pain relief, but that was mostly because my labour came on thick and fast lasting only 1 hour 47 minutes, with no build up of contractions so I didn't have time to get used to it. There was just an hour between me asking for pain relief and giving birth. So most of labour is totally managable in my opinion! I suffer from severe period pains and very bad IBS pains and they are much worse than the contractions I felt. I think being scared and getting worked up doesn't help with the pain. Gas and air made a huge difference for me as I got close to delivering. I don't think I could have done the end of labour without it. I know alot of women say the pushing is the worst part but honestly I didn't even feel much pain. I've had UTI's that have burnt worse than the head being delivered. It was more exhausting than anything! As soon as my son was born I felt a huge relief and I was ecstatic, I said from minutes after giving birth I'd do it all again. I actually enjoyed the experience, and can't wait to do it all again this December! I know I'm really lucky though and some people have a tough time. Techniques such as breathing etc help so much. It is totally doable and pain relief is always there if you need it, once you see your baby you completely forget what you've just been through. It's so worth it. :flower: xx


----------



## Seity

Yes, no, maybe. Every labor is different. 
My first the labor was manageable for a while in the early stages and then it most definitely was not manageable once I hit active labor. However, the drugs were fantastic and I'm no martyr, so I had a fantastic labor as soon as I got the drugs. I can't recommend them highly enough.
My second labor was even faster than my first and the early stage didn't even rate mentioning on the pain scale. Honestly, I've had worse pains from gas. Once it kicked into high gear it was barely manageable and I would have preferred the drugs, but there was no time because by that point I was already 10 cm. So I had 100% zero pain relief of any kind with that one, but active labor also only lasted 45 minutes.
Having done it both ways, I highly recommend getting the drugs unless you think it's going to be less than 30 minutes till the baby is out once it gets really bad.
Both times my baby came out in 2 pushes.


----------



## Eleanor ace

Honestly, it's so hard to explain what it feels like. For me, it hurt a lot but I never felt like I couldn't manage the pain. When the midwife took my blood afterwards I was writhing in pain and begging her to stop :blush: :haha:. You have so much adrenaline and excitement during labour which makes it easier to cope, and pain relief available of course! I had gas and air both times and I love it! Have you looked into hypno birthing? I haven't used it but I've read some really positive birth stories from ladies who had pain free births using it!
If you haven't already I'd recommend checking out positive birth stories in the birth story section, or watching positive births on Youtube, to reassure you that birth can be an awesome experience!


----------



## happymummax

My labour was really fast and there was no break between my contractions, before I was given gas and air I honestly thought I was dying. One thing that helped before the g&a was breathing (lady in labour breathing :haha: )but that took me a while to get a hang of because I didn't bother going to antenatal classes or know a thing about labour :dohh: 

I'd recommend going to antenatal classes, I'm sure that would have helped me and saved everyone on the labour ward hearing me screaming that I'm dying :haha:

You'll get through it don't worry :flower: xx


----------



## VmrsbabcockV

I was like u..completely and utterly terrified..I didn't want to be induced bc I thot it would b so much worse.. didn't want the epidural cuz I heard it prolongs labor and pushing and bc I didn't like the idea of having a catheter...was terrified of the pain of crowning and that I'd tear. 

Well my waters started leaking around 1pm may 8th and I was having mild period like pains..I went for a walk ate some lunch took a nap and then when I got up to go to the bathroom and wiped it was pink colored. So I called my dr who told me to go to l&d. Hubby came home and MIL came over n we got to the hospital around 4. Still not in any real pain at this point. Well my dr decided to induce me since my waters were going and he didn't want me to have a dry labor. I was scared but honestly the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy were so uncomfortable I just wanted him out! They started pitocin at 430ish and upped the dose every half hour..they got stronger but I didn't even ask for iv meds until about 4 hours into the pitocin..and only bc I wanted to nap to have evergy to push not bc they were unmanageable. The iv meds were awesome..I got a second dose at like..1am. By then the contractions were painful I had to breathe and moan a bit through them but honestly still manageable I wasnt screaming in pain by any means and could still keep my body pretty relaxed through them..by about 3am I asked for an epidural only bc I didn't know hoe much longer I would be in labor and I didn't want to be too tired from breathing/managing contractions to push him...when I got the epi they honestly still weren't horrid..having strep in my stomach/intestines was way worse...well by 6am I was feeling a lot of pressure I got checked was fully dilated and crying for my dr...by 615am I was pushing..he was born in 4 pushes no tears or anything and the relief from the intense pressure overshadowed any pain from crowning...I honestly can't even remember the actual pain from crowning or the ring of fire or anything I only rememver the pressure and it felt like I had to take a huge poo more than anything and yhe relief when he came out was awesome lol. If I'd known my labor was only gonna be another few hours I wouldnt have bothered getting the epi I couldve managed.

I was very happy with my experience it wasn't at all what I expected! Don't be too scared I know its hard but I honestly feel silly now with how much time I spent freaking out. The more relaxed u r the better it will go. 

Good luck!


----------



## Lady H

I coped on only a couple of paracetamol for a long while, but then gas and air. Unfortunately I dilated quickly and could not have an epidural as it was too late. I honestly was asking for one at that point. Once you get to the pushing stage though the pain changes and its more a pushing sensation than actual pain. It's more focused and feels like its achieving something. I'm a complete wuss but I managed ok. My birth story is in the journal link of my signature if you feel up to readng it. Good luck, you'll be great!


----------



## Mrs Cupcake

it must depend on each woman's individual pain threshold etc so our stories probably won't help you.

I found labour quite manageable, i got to 8cm with no pain relief at all and just breathed through it. I then had some gas and air. For me it was no where near as bad as i thought it would be. I remember the midwife saying 'with the next push baby will be here' and i remember thinking that i had nearly done it and it wasnt as bad as i thought. I was prepared for worse!!

i suffer from IBS and i find that much more painful and unmanageable. I often faint from the pain and was very worried about labour but it was nothing compared to IBS! lol.

I think mental attitude makes a big difference.

I am just hoping that my next labour goes as well as my first!


----------



## tristansmum

I just gave birth 3 days ago so its still fresh in my mind and I'm not going to lie it hurt so much. My contractions came out of nowhere though so I didn't have time to adjust. But it was quick 4cm to pushing was 2 hours. I used gas and air which was amazing. During the labour it felt like it was the worst thing ever but you get your baby at the end so its s positive experience. Yes its the worst pain I've ever experienced but I'm not traumatided by it. Your previous experience was a negative one but birth will be different because you get baby at the end and mother nature quickly erases it from your memory.


----------



## solitaire89

How bad is labour and birth? Honest answer, not bad at all. I had a completely pain free and drug free labour and home birth using Natal Hypnotherapy (birth story in siggy if you're interested). It was intense, yes, but not painful. The other thing that was great about the Natal Hypnotherapy was that it removed all the fear that I was feeling about the birth. I would highly recommend it!


----------



## MrsTurner2012

At the time I cried like a baby and wanted my mum!

But you just cope! We're designed too and something inside you just takes over!

If it was that bad we wouldn't carry on doing it over and over!

Good luck!x


----------



## mannymoo

I gave birth a week ago and can honestly say it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Mine was also quick - I was induced at 9am and baby was in my arms at 13h55. I did ask for the epidural and although it only worked on one side for me, it totally took the edge off and made everything more bearable. My biggest fears were tearing and the epidural needle and I can honestly say I didn't feel either of those. You will be fine and don't hesitate to ask for pain relief when you need it. Good luck. X


----------



## Lady H

Mrs Cupcake said:
 

> it must depend on each woman's individual pain threshold etc so our stories probably won't help you.
> 
> I found labour quite manageable, i got to 8cm with no pain relief at all and just breathed through it. I then had some gas and air. For me it was no where near as bad as i thought it would be. I remember the midwife saying 'with the next push baby will be here' and i remember thinking that i had nearly done it and it wasnt as bad as i thought. I was prepared for worse!!
> 
> i suffer from IBS and i find that much more painful and unmanageable. I often faint from the pain and was very worried about labour but it was nothing compared to IBS! lol.
> 
> I think mental attitude makes a big difference.
> 
> I am just hoping that my next labour goes as well as my first!

I've passed out from IBS cramps too!


----------



## twiggy327

Honestly, after the labor and delivery was worse for me. The healing and soreness sucked the most. I had an epidural tho and labor progressed really fast (3 hours total) so I didnt feel much as far as tearing and contractions but healing for the first few weeks was torture for me. Make sure you remember to take home your sitz bath!! life saver!


----------



## BrieAnne

I agree with the last poster, the soreness and recovery were the worst for me too! I was induced bc I was terrified I wouldn't make it to the hospital in time, so I preferred to plan it and have a little control over the situation. They started around 9am and it went so quickly they stopped the pitocin to try to wait for the dr who was delivering twins a few doors down. I didn't want to feel the pushing part and I had always planned on having an epidural, but I waited as long as I could for the epidural so that if there is ever a "next time", I wanted to know what real contractions felt like. So I made it to 7cm then the anesthesiologist couldn't get in there fast enough! lol For me it was like super period cramps but even though they stopped the pitocin, my contractions were one on top of another so no breaks. After getting the epidural, I didn't feel _a thing_. The nurse kept saying "this isn't going to take long, try not to push until the dr gets here." Then about 30 minutes of pushing, baby was out and I didn't feel a thing! I couldn't believe it! So great! I had a small tear - which I didn't feel it happen or the stitches afterward. Was just really sore for like 2 months. Good luck, no matter what your experience, you will be ok.


----------



## katiefx

Lady H said:


> Mrs Cupcake said:
> 
> 
> it must depend on each woman's individual pain threshold etc so our stories probably won't help you.
> 
> I found labour quite manageable, i got to 8cm with no pain relief at all and just breathed through it. I then had some gas and air. For me it was no where near as bad as i thought it would be. I remember the midwife saying 'with the next push baby will be here' and i remember thinking that i had nearly done it and it wasnt as bad as i thought. I was prepared for worse!!
> 
> i suffer from IBS and i find that much more painful and unmanageable. I often faint from the pain and was very worried about labour but it was nothing compared to IBS! lol.
> 
> I think mental attitude makes a big difference.
> 
> I am just hoping that my next labour goes as well as my first!
> 
> I've passed out from IBS cramps too!Click to expand...

They are horrendous pains! Mine are so much worse during this pregnancy! :( x


----------



## MindUtopia

It's totally manageable! Everyone says labour is the 'worst pain they've ever felt'. It's so not! I've had two knee surgeries and was sick with pneumonia and in hospital a few years ago. THAT was the worst pain ever. Labour is intense and hard work (as in I was squatting for 4 hours on and off, which really tired my legs out), but the pain is completely manageable. I had a home birth with no pain relief other than just a TENS machine. It was fine. Not scary or unmanageable at all. I did do hypnotherapy to prepare me for birth though and I think that made a tremendous difference. If you are someone who is really nervous about giving birth or about pain, then I'd highly recommend it. Also, if it helps to compare, I had a cervical exam during birth so they could measure how dilated I was (I was fully dilated at the time, it turned out) and THAT was the most painful part of birth. Contractions and crowning were nothing in comparison, if that gives you an idea and something to compare to your own experience with your procedure. I sure as hell will _not_ be consenting to another exam in my next birth (it wasn't necessary, I knew I was ready to push anyway). But I also don't plan to use any pain relief the next time either. I just don't need it and you might find you don't either. So try to relax and feel positive about it all. It will make a huge difference. :thumbup:


----------



## Louise88

My labour was a walk in the park compared to the weeks leading up to it (terrible heartburn, spewing after every meal etc.) and the 6 weeks after the birth (sore bits where I got cut, sleep deprived etc.) but I had a really easy labour and was only in horrible pain when I was 7cm dilated and on my was to hospital once I had the gas and air the rest just passed in a flash and I can't remember feeling any pain during giving birth except for when the midwife cut my bits with some scissors because I was going to tear anyways. You'll be fine :)


----------



## CordeliaJ

Mindutopia - I assumed they did regular cervical checks anyway just to see how dilated you are. How do they know when you're at 10cm and ready to push otherwise? This is interesting as I never would've thought to refuse a cervical exam, just assumed it was part of the process..


----------



## Louise88

Cordelia they know roughly when your 10cm because of how open your cervix is which is why they have to place their fingers up there it should be explained at your anti natal classes :) but you know your ready to push because your body will automatically start doing it you don't have a choice when babies coming its coming! I remember just chatting away to my hubby and all of a sudden I just started pushing lol


----------



## Louise88

Sorry just realised you weren't asking that in general and you were actually asking someone else :blush:


----------



## solitaire89

CordeliaJ said:


> Mindutopia - I assumed they did regular cervical checks anyway just to see how dilated you are. How do they know when you're at 10cm and ready to push otherwise? This is interesting as I never would've thought to refuse a cervical exam, just assumed it was part of the process..

you don't have to have any internal exams if you don't want. I certainly didn't want them. I did have 2 in the end though. One because the mw wanted to know what sort of time to expect to return to the house (though this ended up as a complete waste of time, as her estimate was late the next morning, and dd arrived in the early hours) and the second was after my body had been pushing for an hour or so and to check that I wasn't pushing against a lip. There are other non-invasive ways to estimate dilation, as well as the fact that a bad experience can cause the cervix to close up again. As for when to push, your body knows when, so you can just go with it.
A lot of people assume it is 'part of the process", the same as lying on your back to birth. At the end of the day, it is for the medics benefit.


----------



## CordeliaJ

Louise88 said:


> Cordelia they know roughly when your 10cm because of how open your cervix is which is why they have to place their fingers up there it should be explained at your anti natal classes :) but you know your ready to push because your body will automatically start doing it you don't have a choice when babies coming its coming! I remember just chatting away to my hubby and all of a sudden I just started pushing lol

Thanks Louise, no worries, jump right in because it's great to hear opinions. I'll tell you something weird that my mother has scared me about. She told me when she was in labour she felt the urge to push, and pushed, but it turned out she wasn't remotely dilated enough, and she ended up causing her entire cervix to swell up and spasm and made her labour twice as long. She keeps saying to me, you will have the urge to push but that doesn't mean it's time yet. I mean what the hell, I don't know what I'm doing and how on earth will I know the right time from the wrong time?! 
As for antenatal classes, mine isn't until the 29th June because they are apparently so booked up at our hospital. I would like to go to one now so I'm not so clueless! :wacko:


----------



## solitaire89

CordeliaJ said:


> Thanks Louise, no worries, jump right in because it's great to hear opinions. I'll tell you something weird that my mother has scared me about. She told me when she was in labour she felt the urge to push, and pushed, but it turned out she wasn't remotely dilated enough, and she ended up causing her entire cervix to swell up and spasm and made her labour twice as long. She keeps saying to me, you will have the urge to push but that doesn't mean it's time yet. I mean what the hell, I don't know what I'm doing and how on earth will I know the right time from the wrong time?!
> As for antenatal classes, mine isn't until the 29th June because they are apparently so booked up at our hospital. I would like to go to one now so I'm not so clueless! :wacko:

the urge to push is different to your body pushing. That's the fetal ejection reflex that I was talking about. It feels like being sick downwards, or dry heaving. You have no control over it. Its not pushing like when you're on the loo, which a lot of women get an urge to do as it often helps with the pain of contractions. It is completely involuntary, and you can do no more to stop that than you can stop the tides turning! Don't let your mums story scare you - if you feel they're right for you, then have an internal to check before you push, its not a problem :) I should add that, using the natal hypnotherapy relaxation, my internals were painless too.


----------



## zanDark

solitaire89 said:


> the urge to push is different to your body pushing. That's the fetal ejection reflex that I was talking about. It feels like being sick downwards, or dry heaving. You have no control over it. Its not pushing like when you're on the loo, which a lot of women get an urge to do as it often helps with the pain of contractions. It is completely involuntary, and you can do no more to stop that than you can stop the tides turning! Don't let your mums story scare you - if you feel they're right for you, then have an internal to check before you push, its not a problem :) I should add that, using the natal hypnotherapy relaxation, my internals were painless too.

this sounds so strange! :wacko: I can't even begin to imagine what it's like lol

I know from friends and relatives that you're supposed to push like when you're going to the bathroom, but I had no idea that your body actually takes over and starts pushing the baby out on it's own!

It's truly amazing what our bodies can do! :thumbup:


----------



## solitaire89

zanDark said:


> this sounds so strange! :wacko: I can't even begin to imagine what it's like lol
> 
> I know from friends and relatives that you're supposed to push like when you're going to the bathroom, but I had no idea that your body actually takes over and starts pushing the baby out on it's own!
> 
> It's truly amazing what our bodies can do! :thumbup:

"supposed to" is kind of interesting. Your body can birth your baby without you pushing at all. If you are going to push, then I understand that's what you have to do, but I didn't actively push at all so I can't comment.

You're right, it's a totally bizarre feeling - not painful at all. It really is exactly like being sick, but the movement is downwards not upwards.

And you're also absolutely right, it is truly amazing what our bodies can do, especially when they're left to do it without prodding and poking and intervention, and most importantly, without fear!


----------



## xsadiex

I enjoyed my labour loads! Most of it wasn't that painful, it was a fun experience with the midwives and my partner at home. We chatted lots and it was exciting! There was a part before pushing which was almos unmanageable but it didn't last long and before I knew it I was pushing which didn't hurt at all. You can do it!


----------



## MindUtopia

Like other have said, you don't need anyone to tell you when to push (assuming you haven't had an epidural, then you probably will because you can't feel enough), your body just does it. You _know_. It's unmistakeable. It's very rare that you'd have the urge to push and you wouldn't be dilated enough (and actually some pushing just at the end of dilation can help move a lip of cervix out of the way so you are fully dilated). Me personally, I was starting to push a little bit with each contraction (not consciously, it's just what your body does) and my contractions were also about 2 minutes apart, so I was very obviously reaching that point. If contractions are far apart and you're pushing, maybe you'd want to check if you're concerned. But really, I think the most important thing is just to trust your body and listen to it. You'll know what you need to do. 

Have you heard of the purple line approach to assessing cervical dilation? I'm sad my midwives didn't do this (next time I'm giving them some research to read while they hang out in my kitchen and telling them no cervical exams, they just have to figure it out!). Many women develop a purple line that creeps up from their anus to their lower back and research has shown that it's length often correlates with cervical dilation (even more accurately sometimes than vaginal exams alone). I think this is so cool. Midwives can actually see easily how dilated you are, not only by not doing an exam, but while you're in an upright position, which is the easiest one for birthing anyway. 

Here's an article about it:

https://www.scienceandsensibility.org/?p=5547

Here's a better picture: 

https://zenbirth.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/how-dilated-am-i.html


----------



## RKW

My labour was horrendous. I felt all the contractions in my back and my baby was born face up. I was adamant I would have a natural labour with only gas and air if I absolutely had to. - what a joke that turned out to be. I was violently sick on the gas and air. With every suck and contraction I vomited. I used 56 disposable sick bowls (husband counted, they came in packs of ten) the vomiting pains plus contractions was unbearable. I was put on two saline drips to replace lost fluid, meaning I was stuck to the bed and also had to stay overnight. 
At this point I went for the epidural, it was amazing!!!! I got 2 hours sleep, it was awesome. 
They let the esipural wear completely off for the pushing stage, which I did without pain relief. I felt myself tear and begged to be cut and for forceps. Eventually my baby was born and I had stitches.
Next time I will go for an epidural as soon as possible and ask for it not to be allowed to wear off for the pushing stage. 

While I agree for some women labour can be enjoyable and a pleasant experience, for others like me ( even those who wanted drug free births) it can be truely awful. 

Until you get there you just don't know how it's going to be.


----------



## Aphrodite

I was shocked at the pain of my first labour. I managed really well until the final stages and just felt like I was in hell as the contractions encompass your entire body. I was naked and sobbing on the floor terrified of pushing. Well pushing him out was the worst pain I have EVER experienced, like I was being ripped in half while having a red hot poker shoved up there! My husband still talks about how loud I screamed to this day, even the midwife mentioned it! 
Ds2 was MUCH easier, I chatted between contracting and even got bored when they slowed down and wished I brought a book! I even asked the midwife how long it would take! The pushing bit was still hell but with hindsight a bit less so. Im so glad its all done and I never have2do it again!

I should mention I had no pain relief whatsoever. So stupid, have an epidural! I swore I'd have an epidural with number2but when they offered it I turned it down and thought, you've done this once you can do it again. So it obviously wasn't that bad :)


----------



## clairebear0

Per my doctor...all women have different number of nerves and so the sensation of pain is different for all women. He said, the best deliveries have been natural and my worst deliveries have been natural.

His best advice, go in to your first delivery flexible. If you are feeling great and like you can do it, go for it. If you are not, get an epidural. You want the pain to be manageable and for some women it is not and for some it is.

Good luck!


----------



## MrsTurner2012

https://www.mumsnet.com/pregnancy/labour-and-birth/pain-relief-natural

This was a good read earlier


----------



## chloexo

Its such an amazing experience! Not as bad as people make out at all :) I thought the contractions towards the end hurt more than anything else i got to 8cm and then I had an epidural which in my opinion if you can have one get one. I'd do it allllll over again tomorrow. I'm more petrified of going to the dentist for a filling lol


----------



## bumblebeexo

I had been contracting for 6 hours when OH made me phone l&d. I didn't think I needed too as I didn't think I'd be that far on - the contractions were sore yes, but I was still able to walk around and I didn't even know if it was 'real' labour! 
I went in and the midwife said based on my reactions she didn't think I was in established labour - I was too calm apparently! I asked her to check me anyway, despite her saying she wasn't keen, and I was 7cm! They instantly went and filled the birthing pool as it was a water birth I was aiming for.
I chatted away in the pool, I was even texting! I was in pain, a LOT of pain, but nothing unbearable.. I thought it was going to be a piece of cake! 
When it came to the pushing stage I decided to come out the pool as I couldn't get comfy in it. As soon as I got out the pain escalated and the contractions were literally on top of each other. I had gas and air but other than making me feel drunk it didn't do much for me. It took me half an hour to push LO out, and I'd rather go though the pain I had before pushing started 3 times over than go through that again once! I was shouting and telling the midwife I couldn't do it and to make it stop. I felt like I was going to die! Once she was out, one of the first things I said to OH was "I'm never doing this EVER again!!" :haha: I had a lot of complications afterwards, so next time will probably be a section, but 10 months down the line and I've forgotten what the pain was like. I can remember screaming and shouting, but I can't physically remember how bad it actually was!


----------



## Logan's Mum

Labour is what you make of it, it can be a breeze if you are in the right state of mind or if you accept all pain relief going. Or some find it awful and difficult. I was calm until I had a drip to speed up labour, thats when I needed all pain relief going. After that, I was calm again! :haha: Its do-able with little or no pain relief, just go in with an open mind and be kind on yourself if you need to have pain relief (think some mums, like me, feel guilty for accepting pain relief which some may seem as a "cheaters" way out).

Best of luck :flower:


----------



## mandy87

I just gave birth on June 8th , my baby's actual due date, crazy huh ! anyways, I started having uncomfortable contractions for a couple hours and then They started hurting so bad at 5 mins apart and I was only 2 cm dialated ugh lol they almost sent me home! It took forever for the epidural , I had painful contractions( to me anyways) ha but once I got that epidural I was sooo numb and didnt feel pain , I felt pressure but then that went away! so pushing for me wasnt bad at all, I think i pushed only 20 mins : O


----------



## BubsMom17

Please don't say "It's not as bad as people make it out to be," or "it's not as bad as everyone says."

Everyone is different. It was very horribly painful for me between 6-10 cms. It was frighteningly painful. I did it the whole way with no meds, so you manage with it best you can. It is so worth it in the end, but it can be very painful based on your body, your contractions, size of your baby, and position of the baby.

BUT I am going to go all natural again for #2, so it's not bad enough to put me off from it!


----------



## CordeliaJ

I've heard it varies depending on how sensitive your nerve endings are. No idea how true that is, but it makes sense as some people seem to have a terribly painful time and others not.


----------



## Ceejay123

I came out of labour going 'Seriously... that can't be it?' 

Don't get me wrong, it hurts . More than anything i have EVER felt before.. it was agony. BUT it was bareable. I got used to it. 

Then after.. It'd gone. I felt fine!

I had an epidural (only because i was induced and they said it'd be a 3 day labour. I needed sleep) the epi failed.. And i could stand up 40 minutes after. After that I had no pain relief.. Not even gas and air. Waters boke at 2am, Riley was here at 9:14am. Not quite 3 days. x


----------



## Mummy Bean

It had good points and bad points but ultimatly it was 12 hrs after 9 months of baking a baby. 

Do ur research, read plently of stories, watch every obem and go in with an open mind. You have no idea how ur body will react, how quickly things will progress and if u will need assitance. 

I managed to get to 8cm on just g&a and every thing was managable...contractions are so weird as for 60 sec u are in the worst pain, then it goes away...u have a cuppa or relax and go through it again.

At 8cm my son turned sunny side up and got a bit stuck so i had a low dose epidural just to give him a chance to decend. 

One thing i have noticed is alot of those ladies who have the drug free relaxed home birth are clued up, they prepare them selves and there body, and i hope to take some of that away with me for this birth, which i think i went into a bit naive...hardly having looked into anything.


----------



## Misscalais

I've given birth twice and I've only ever had 3 internals all at my request. My midwives knew I was ready to push by the change in my behaviour and sounds I was making. So I was never checked to see if I was 10cm ( obviously I was ) 1st bub pushed for 25mins he was 8lb 4oz 2nd bub was 9lb and only pushed for 8mins would have been quicker but I shut my legs at one point and said I wasn't doing it :rofl: my body pretty much pushed for me though I had no choice :)
I won't lie it hurt, and yes it was the worst pain I've ever been in but it's manageable :) I just had gas and air. Try to go as intervention free as possible, keep mobile and walking as much as you can and if it all gets to much the option of pain relief is always there. Water helps a lot.


----------



## goddess25

Its a hard question to answer as everyone will have their own story and coping strategies.

Yes its very very painful, it will not kill you and you will get through it.

I wanted natural labours with both kids, ended up with a spinal with DS in the OR and it was great not to feel contractions anymore, but I liked feeling them even though they were painful. I liked to be experiencing it all. With DD did natural labour and I felt everything which i wanted. 

You dont have a choice, your body does what it needs to for the most part..if you need pain control when your in labour take it, do what you have to for you.

It was not as bad as I thought it would be.


----------

