# Cant believe im here again



## stephanie1990

I cant beleive im here again but here goes, heres the story...

quick run down.....

me, steph 20 met matt 21. we welcomed our daughter in june 2012 and moved in together when ella was 11 months. us moving in together is when everything fell apart. 
it started off like little things like matt being really lazy around the home but i accepted it because he worked all hours so it wasnt too bad. We welcomed our second daughter in september 2013 thats when it got really bad. A month after she was born he quit his job, he said he was being bullied and its only taken me to know to think that he wasnt and that he just didnt want to go to work well that when our big arguments happened. his lazziness got worse, he didnt do anything with the kids, he just played games on his phone for no joke 12 hours a day, since october 2013 till now he has put on 6 stone in weight, he eats nothing but junk and leaves the house once a week to the job centre. He never wanted to go out with me or the kids, i think he went to the park with them about 4 times in the year, 
I left him in him feb this year and lived with my mom for 8 months while i was trying to work at the relationship, i told him everything that needed changed. He really must of talked me round and at the start of september i moved back in with him. Well the first 3 weeks was great then it went downhill again and this time his temper was worse, 3 weeks ago ella got ill, had a tummy bug etc, she was sick a little and he freaked out over the carpet and screamed at me, i chucked him so wipes to clear her up and because of that he grabbed my ceral bowel and threw it up the wall. 
He has been on his phone constantly and after that i had enough, i cleaned ella up and ran for my phone and called my mom, he then decided that no one was coming in so my mom had to call the police, 

i feel so low and lonely even though i have family around me, i cant believe how this year has gone and i feel like such a bad mom for putting my kids through it, i dont know why i care for him still ( i wont go back with him) i wish i hated his guts, im trying to enjoy this time of year but i feel broken. im so scared of being on my own. sounds silly but iv never really been single and its hard to think im on my own and i have the girls. 

Pointless post really just feeling poo.
Im getting all the horrible texts too atm from him. Apparently im a sickness to my children ( his words) 

I hate all of this :cry:

Sorry for typos


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## boojababy

sounds like you're better off without him I've been a single mom for 15 years....it's not that bad


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## baileybubs

I've already chatted to you on my journal Hun but just wanted to send more hugs.


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## teal

:hugs: xx


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## ClairAye

:hugs:

I'm 20 and our LOs are very similar in age. I have been single for almost 7 months now, at first it was awful, I wanted nothing but for him to take me back but it has been a blessing in disguise for me! It does get better! Feel free to message me if you like :flower:


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## kopelitsa

stephanie1990 said:


> I cant beleive im here again but here goes, heres the story...
> 
> quick run down.....
> 
> me, steph 20 met matt 21. we welcomed our daughter in june 2012 and moved in together when ella was 11 months. us moving in together is when everything fell apart.
> it started off like little things like matt being really lazy around the home but i accepted it because he worked all hours so it wasnt too bad. We welcomed our second daughter in september 2013 thats when it got really bad. A month after she was born he quit his job, he said he was being bullied and its only taken me to know to think that he wasnt and that he just didnt want to go to work well that when our big arguments happened. his lazziness got worse, he didnt do anything with the kids, he just played games on his phone for no joke 12 hours a day, since october 2013 till now he has put on 6 stone in weight, he eats nothing but junk and leaves the house once a week to the job centre. He never wanted to go out with me or the kids, i think he went to the park with them about 4 times in the year,
> I left him in him feb this year and lived with my mom for 8 months while i was trying to work at the relationship, i told him everything that needed changed. He really must of talked me round and at the start of september i moved back in with him. Well the first 3 weeks was great then it went downhill again and this time his temper was worse, 3 weeks ago ella got ill, had a tummy bug etc, she was sick a little and he freaked out over the carpet and screamed at me, i chucked him so wipes to clear her up and because of that he grabbed my ceral bowel and threw it up the wall.
> He has been on his phone constantly and after that i had enough, i cleaned ella up and ran for my phone and called my mom, he then decided that no one was coming in so my mom had to call the police,
> 
> i feel so low and lonely even though i have family around me, i cant believe how this year has gone and i feel like such a bad mom for putting my kids through it, i dont know why i care for him still ( i wont go back with him) i wish i hated his guts, im trying to enjoy this time of year but i feel broken. im so scared of being on my own. sounds silly but iv never really been single and its hard to think im on my own and i have the girls.
> 
> Pointless post really just feeling poo.
> Im getting all the horrible texts too atm from him. Apparently im a sickness to my children ( his words)
> 
> I hate all of this :cry:
> 
> Sorry for typos

I'm a mom of three ,40yrs,and gave a 6 week old. I'm divorced and have been with baby's father for 5 years. He broke up with me Christmas morning before he was supposed to propose for the fact I did not allow him to hold the baby because he was drinking...it's hard I know..but if they fly off the handle for such petty nonsense then we are better off alone..it's going to take time to realize it but we will get through.


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## moomin_troll

I chucked my ex out (not my sons father) back in November for being a lazy b*stard. I kicked him out hoping it would wake him up, 2 months of him messing me around, I can finally see things like him do not change because it's too much effort. 
His behaviour towards u is disgusting, believe me ur better off without him. 
Since getting rid of my bf, I get so much more done because I don't expect the help. ... The house has died past 2 weeks tho haha


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