# Wedding dilemma!



## loeylo

My boyfriend finally proposed last night (we have been together 7 years, lol) and I'm thinking about the bridal party ... yes, already! 

I'm going to have my best friend and sister as my bridesmaids. I need to represent my partners family in the bridal party too, but can't decide how to do it.

My partners sister would be the obvious choice but I am thinking I might want her two children instead. The kids are 12 and 8. 

My daughter (2 just now) is going to be my flower girl.

Should I have his sister as a bridesmaid and leave out the two girls, or should I give the girls roles? 

I thought of mini bridesmaids for both, or making the 12 year old a proper bridesmaid and the younger one to help our daughter being a flower girl, but I feel 8 is a bit old for that.

Help me!


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## Babybump87

Congratulations !! 

We got married last year after 13 years together ! Childhood sweethearts ! It's all exciting planning but can be overwhelming ! 

I would go with his sister as a bridesmaid, her 12 year old a bridesmaid and the 8 year old a flower girl with your DD ( my DD1 was a flower girl and she was 3 1/2 with my little sister who was 8 ) I think it helped because she had someone older to help her walk down the aisle . It can be worrying for the little ones and the big ones lol 

Also would your OHs sister be offended if you didn't pick her as bridesmaid ? Also depends how big a wedding you want and how many family members to give direct roles lol

Good look with your planning !


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## loeylo

I don't think SIL would be offended at not being bridesmaid since I'm having her children represent her instead. She's quite a bit older than us as well (we are 28 and she is 36) and I think 3 bridesmaids plus the three kids would be overkill? We aren't having a big wedding, we are looking at hiring a barn and having quite a rustic casual wedding. We are also not going to have a very traditional wedding I don't think. 

My issue is mainly the 8 year old as she will be at least 9 by the time of the actual wedding and I think that's quite old. She would LOVE walking down the aisle with my daughter though.


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## Babybump87

If your not wanting a big wedding then that might be a bit overkill yeah . Love your idea of a barn! Ours was just a casual wedding only had maid of honour, my sister and DD1 as flower girls . DD2 had the same dress to but she was only 8 months old lol . 

I change my mind lol . Have the two older girls as bridesmaid and let your DD be flower girl . Your DD should be ok to follow the older girls if she will be nearly three by the time wedding comes? . 

I found I went back and forth with slot of decisions which gets annoying ! 

If your looking for invitations , place cards and all other wedding stationary there's a lady on Amazon called Sienna Mai . Very good prices . I got mine there and loved them !.


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## loeylo

My dd would walk fine with her cousin, they LOVE each other! Her cousins name was one of her first words. 

I've got invited sorted, my cousin has a side business doing websites and invites so he is going to do them at cost! 

I'm quite crafty myself so we are thinking rustic d.i.y. Style and lots of fairy lights. 

Right now my fiancé is contemplating cancelling everything as I won't shut up, haha!


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## Take2

Your SIL would be so pleased to see her children involved I don&#8217;t think she&#8217;d mind not being involved herself. I&#8217;d go junior bridesmaid for both girls, the 8 year old is too old for flower girl, if the 12 year old will be 13 by the wedding I&#8217;d make her a regular bridesmaid, I believe once girls become teenagers they should transition from junior bridesmaid to regular bridesmaid


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## loeylo

Take2 said:


> Your SIL would be so pleased to see her children involved I dont think shed mind not being involved herself. Id go junior bridesmaid for both girls, the 8 year old is too old for flower girl, if the 12 year old will be 13 by the wedding Id make her a regular bridesmaid, I believe once girls become teenagers they should transition from junior bridesmaid to regular bridesmaid

I agree that 8 is too old for a flower girl, I just have images of a giant flower girl! 

I think I'm going to do junior bridesmaid for the two girls. i don't want the older one to be seen as being "superior" to the younger one, so I'll keep them the same. They will still go down the aisle with my DD and help with her. I'll get them a normal bridesmaid dress but get mesh or something on top. 

Thanks for the help! 

Do you think 2 "real" bridesmaids and 2 junior bridesmaids, a flower girl and two best men is okay for a small wedding? I don't want to have more people in the wedding than at the wedding, lol.

We also don't have any male children in the extended family so we don't have a page boy. 

Planning on potentially having our dog be ring bearer which could be a total disaster! (The venues we are looking at are all dog friendly, being dog friendly is pretty much essential as everyone will be at the wedding and he can't be kennelled.)


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## Take2

It&#8217;s your day so you do it your way, whatever makes you happy, there doesn&#8217;t need to be restrictions on the bridal party if you want those people involved then go for it! Congratulations and I hope it goes well :)


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## CormacksGirl

Could you have the older girl as a bridesmaid then the 8year old carry your rings on a pillow and your daughter as flower girl? Congrats by the way!xxx


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## catty

I had my sister and 2 friends and then my husbands sister daughter i made her a junior bridesmaid (13) i didnt have his sister as i didnt feel we were close ebough for dress fittings and all that comes with it


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## loeylo

I've given up on even thinking about it right now! I think this are going to wait until after Christmas because we have no excess money until then anyway


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## SmartieMeUp

My sister got married in July. 
Her son (7) was page boy & rings-man. 
Her best friend was MoH.
Me, our 2 sisters and her SIL were bridesmaids. (The SIL came close to not being invited!)
Her SIL's granddaughter was the flower girl (3 in January).

You don't actually need a flower girl, if you don't want one. Stick to bridesmaids if it makes it easier.


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## loeylo

I'd definitely want my dd as flower girl. She's just turned 2 so would probably be around 3 at the wedding.


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