# yummy mummies dating support group



## moomin_troll

I made this thread because i was supposed to be going on my first date as a single mum. it didnt work out lol
I have now met other gorgeous mummy's who are ready to date, so have now decided to create a dating support thread where we can share out worrys, fears and fun :D 
Hi ladies, how is everyone?
I've not been on here in so long, so here's abit about me. When Zane was 2 my husband died and then found out I was pregnant. 
That was 2 yrs ago.

Never thought I'd be ready to "move on" 
But in October I decided I was sick of being lonely, after all we all no what that's like in here :( 
I'm 24 and I had a 19 yr old interested in me lol so thought I'd get abit of flirty txt practice in, he was a nice lad but nothing happened.

I went out Saturday and had my first kiss, I thought I'd feel horrible but I felt nothing, which for me felt great lol
I then met another lad who's 22, he asked for my number.
He then started to txt me and because I didn't think I'd be interested I told him I have 2 kids, he then asked where their dad was, so I told him.

It didn't scare him away and he's asked me to go on a date! I'm so excited.

But it's bought up a lot of fears for me. I haven't been with a man in 2 yrs, and since the last time I've had another baby! My bodies changed so much, and lets face it not everyone can get to the gym when they have 2 young children.

I'm freakin out lol any advise would be greatly appreciated lol


----------



## Jade--x

Aww hun I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm really glad you're ready to move on :) 

Hmm the best advice I can give is try not to worry, and just enjoy yourself. I'm a worrier when it comes to things like that. When they sit staring at me or into my eyes it WEIRDS me the hell out because I start thinking omg what's wrong with me what have they seen they're staring at have I had a huge spot appear on my forehead or has my mascara ran etc. I'm terrible :haha: I'm like it most of the time though and I really wish I didn't. As for your body..He's seen you as you are now, and has still asked you on a date and if he was going to judge you on how you look..He doesn't deserve you anyway.x


----------



## moomin_troll

I no I'm being silly lol most men don't even see the flaws that we see lol
And I haven't even been on the first date and I'm worrying lol I am also a worrier about really random things haha
I was really shocked after I said about I have kids that he was still interested, he did then point out single mums aren't rare and he was so sweet when I told him about my husband.

I also never thought I'd go for someone younger haha but he's so funny.

It's the weirdest feeling because I'm excited and even from the texts I like him, but then I still love Thomas, my husband and miss him so much.
Think I'm in shock haha can't believe I'm actually going on a date!!!! Lol


----------



## Jade--x

Nor they don't the guy I'm now with didn't even notice my stretch marks I was like are you serious?! Until I pointed a few out he hasn't seen or felt them, but luckily they don't bother me anymore as such anyway :) 

I was the same when I was first a single mum it upset me thinking no one would ever want me and I'd forever be alone with a baby. It really wasn't the case there's so many guys I've met that haven't been bothered I have kids, as mean as it sounds I was just never interested back so never took it any further than a couple of conversations on Facebook or texts lol. 

I think that's totally understandable and you'll always live your husband but he'd want you to be happy regardless and to move on if it made you happy, I don't think anyone would wish the loneliness on anyone :hugs:

I hope it all goes well you'll definitely have to update :D x


----------



## moomin_troll

I've got so many stretch marks, and they wouldn't bother me if I actually got myself fit and toned up my stomach, which I really need to do and maybe the thought of someone seeing it might make me sort it lol I'm just so lazy hahaha

My mum said I could have a hundred kids and men would still want me lol but she's my mum, she has to think I'm gorgeous :) 
I will definitely be updating on here, probably soon as I get home off the date lol
He's not even my type, but he's certainly making up for that with the texts.
Eekk! Lol


----------



## Jade--x

Yeah I know what you mean lol its not easy though you're looking after 2 kids all day and its so tiring you don't have the energy for the gym aswell. I'm usually KO'd as soon as they're asleep :haha: I've been really lucky so far to be able to keep quite a good figure with zero work upto now, but I know getting older I'm gonna have to start doing something its not like it used to be I could just eat what I wanted and not put a lb on, now I put about a stone on just looking at food :haha: 
Aww that's so sweet she's probably right though :) haha
I'm excited for you :haha: I never get time for proper dates and when I do get the time I sit and think I could go on a date..or I can have a bath and an early night and a full nights sleep..Sleep usually wins so I let the OH come and just cuddle me to sleep rather than going out :rofl: x


----------



## moomin_troll

I'm underweight :( need to gain weight and tone up. It's not going to be easy lol but yeah I'd always choose a full time sleep haha

The night I met him, I was wearing a moustache haha so I must look good to pull that off haha he texts me and I can't stop grinning like a teenager lol that's the bad thing about it not being till Wednesday, I've got time to build it up in my head and worry!

Damn me lol


----------



## Jade--x

Haha I won't ask why you were wearing a moustache ;) :haha: 

Ask to meet up for a coffee before then? I do that I psych myself out a little, and think I don't want to go through with it but its never as bad as my head leads me to think lol. Its like I've got a date myself wednesday ;) with a nurse and needle - Steamy I know GET IN :D haha and I'm terrified of needles and the worst of them is blood tests..So I've got until wednesday to think about it freak about it then sit in the waiting room panicking about it. Its gonna be great lol x


----------



## moomin_troll

I'm terrified of needles aswel and cry my eyes out with worry before hand! But it's never as bad as u think. Well it was once when my mw did it and she was awful!
He's busy till Wednesday and I can't get a babysitter. So ile wait lol I just need to chill out lol it's only a first date, I don't need to worry about my body because he won't be seeing it haha

I was out for a mates 21st and the theme was gay and proud lol he's not even gay. I was out with a rugby team and my sister was t dressing up so I wimped out and just wore a tache. And honestly I've never been chatted up so much in my life! And I got to kiss a very good looking cowboy, who turned out to be 19 haha but I got my first kiss out of the way


----------



## Jade--x

Yeah it was my MW that did the worst one ever she missed my vein and rather than taking it out and trying again she decided to move it around under my skin until she got it :sick: was so painful and my arm was black for weeks. Cow. 

Aww you stuck out and looked like you were fun..I had my lad mates draw all over me in eyeliner from my bag once and I had a bandana on my head looking a total idiot and I ended up meeting someone I went on to have a relationship with, one I wish never ended and still to this day miss. I actually had a dream about him last night but that's a whole other story :haha: 

At least this first kiss is out the way, you won't be worrying yourself about that you can just look forward to it :D x


----------



## moomin_troll

I've just found out I no his big brother. I kissed him 10 yrs ago! Omg lol sometimes I wish this world wasnt so god dam small lol

He laughed and said he didn't care, so we are still going on the date. I hope it doesn't make things weird :(


----------



## Jade--x

I'm pretty sure it'll be fine it was many years ago and just a kiss :haha: but I know what you mean! I had an ex and seriously I think he must have just known everyone in our town because any lad that spoke to me just as a friend I'd later find out knew him then if he found out I'd be accused of trying to sleep with all his friends intentionally..I don't think he realises if I'd have known they were his friends I'd have stayed away from even talking for that very reason :haha:. That was when I started preferring to go more long distance to avoid having mutual friends and people that could stick their nose in or had ties to someone else. I wanted something brand new lol.


----------



## moomin_troll

That's the problem living in a small town lol on further digging one of his ex gfs is married to one of my husbands mates haha

Yeah me and his brother was yrs ago, both very much over it haha and we are on really good terms. Always chat n hug if I see him, but think its safe to say I won't be going out with them both on a night out hahaha

The lad I'm goin on a date with added me on fb, he's hotter then I remember so now I'm extra nervous hahaha


----------



## ZombieQueen

moomin_troll said:


> The lad I'm goin on a date with added me on fb, he's hotter then I remember so now I'm extra nervous hahaha

:haha: this made me laugh.

I'm so sorry about your husband. :hugs:

but you totally give me hope that someday I'll feel excited to date again. I can't wait to hear how the date goes!


----------



## moomin_troll

Thanks :) it's been a tough two yrs but I finally decided to put myself out there and get asked out lol
I never thought I'd even want to date, the thought of kissing someone else made me feel sick. But I've surprised myself and yes if I can be excited, so will u be one day :D one of my brother in laws mates was moaning he was nervous about a date till I told him about mine, then he just felt like an idiot hahaha

I can't wait to update u all aswel :D he was texting me again last night. We get on so well and he's so funny. Really hope the date goes as well as I think it will


----------



## Shezza84uk

ooo Enjoy your date when it comes!! just be yourself don't forget to update us xx


----------



## moomin_troll

Getting so excited for this date. Still texting, he's with his mates at the pub and still sent me a text to just say hi.
Feeling like a school girl lol


----------



## ZombieQueen

:happydance: I'm excited FOR you!

I'm just gonna live through you :haha:


----------



## moomin_troll

Hahaha thanks
I can't believe I actually like someone and we haven't even been on the date yet.
The pressure is on lol if this date doesn't go well, we are both goin to be disappointed


----------



## ZombieQueen

I'm sure it'll go well, maybe a bit awkward, but I think most dates are somewhat awkward at first! :thumbup:


----------



## moomin_troll

I'm going to my sisters first and ile be having afew drinks for courage lol
He's just txt me saying he's really looking forward to tomorrow......sweet but oh the pressure.
I've never been on a date before so I can imagine then being awkward :S


----------



## Shezza84uk

Lol bless you hes probably trying to boost you up but its having the negative effect lol you will be fine just enjoy yourself xx


----------



## moomin_troll

I'm feeling more chilled out. Ile panic tomo lol but then once I get to my sisters she will calm me down haha


----------



## moomin_troll

6am and he's txt to cancel :( apparently family are coming and he didn't no, they all want to go for a meal tonight.
He does seen gutted, so maybe it's the truth


----------



## Jennifurball

Oh no! Could be truthful or he may have cold feet. Has he arranged an alternative?


----------



## moomin_troll

He text me at 10.30pm n asked what I was up to, told him I was at the pub and asked what he was up to n he's not text back. He is crap at texting so this isn't unusual.
He's not spoke about rearranging tho :/ duno what he's playing at. I might be a single mum but that doesn't mean we are desperate. 
He's going to have to make a really big effort to make this up to me, if not I'm not wasting my time


----------



## ZombieQueen

noooo! So lame! :brat: I hope he'll reschedule soon.. I was so looking forward to your date!


----------



## moomin_troll

He's got until tomorrow night at 10 to ask again, and if he doesn't ile be just deleting his number, all the messages and his Facebook. 
Tuesday night he was texting me saying he couldn't wait to see me, then acted gutted when he canceled, so ile see. He's not that hot that I'd be willing to let him mess me around hahaha 
He's good looking but I've done so much better before and I can again.

Even if I don't actually get a date I'm happy I met him because feeling excited about meeting someone and feeling like I could really like him gave me the kick up the ass I needed to realise I like being happy and I'm ready to move on abit more from my husband. I've had all his clothes under my bed, and Tuesday I actually felt like I could let go, well I've packed them all away to go into the attic when I've converted that. And I also started to take pictures of him down on Facebook. 
So even if I end up disappointed, it's done me some good


----------



## Shezza84uk

Hope he reschedule at least it made you more willing and confident to try dating men eh? I was also surprised when a very handsome guy asked for my number yesterday in ikea lol.. I had DS breast feeding in carrier strapped to me and DD walking by my side never thought in a million years someone would be interested in me considering I have a newborn so I guess there is hope for us single mums x


----------



## moomin_troll

Wow u got a number while feeding! Go u lol
He's not text me since Wednesday night, so yeah ile be deleting him later.
My mums dragging me out tonight lol leaving my little to babysit which I'm not happy about but I need to let my hair down.

Just all so annoying that he was the one who was so keen and then nothing....don't get it but oh well I'm going to survive lol


----------



## Shezza84uk

Enjoy your night out! His loss.. I was shocked I got asked too if I'm honest I'm not keen to start dating I'm enjoying being just me and my children atm so ill keep it this way for a while longer lol


----------



## moomin_troll

I am mortified! 
I went out tonight (as in Friday night) with my mum and my mate met up with us. We went into a pub I normally stay away from and got talking to some lads. The one that was interested in me was Scottish and in the raf. I swore bling I'd stay away from military cuz my husband was army and Scottish too lol
Dancing I then kissed him. I made all the moves and played it cool. My mate then danced with him for 30 seconds, nothing was in it. I wasn't bothered and then my mum kicked off. Having a right go at him n his mates for the rest of the night. This lad is smitten with me lol even tho my mum kicked off he only had his eyes on me.

He's not even my type, not the best looking but omg there was so much chemistry when we kissed it was unreal. My mate sneeked my number to his mate to then give to him lol
Omg I'm mortified!
In other news the lad I was supposed to go on a date with didn't text so I've deleted him


----------



## Shezza84uk

Aww bless your mum she's protective of you. I hope this guy calls especially with chemistry! I'm persoally never going out with another squaddie again my ex is in the military and after so many years, PTSD and cheeting thats totally put me off never again lol


----------



## moomin_troll

The fact that my husband was army has put me off and I wouldn't wana fall for one because the amount of cheating when left to go camp to camp alone (I no not all) and I wouldn't drag my boys into that life for anyone but their own dad.
He has text me, wanted a date but I made an excuse. 
Well I decided to wind up the lad I originally had a date with. On my Facebook I put the status "and I said I'd stay away from military men....bad Kimberley" someone put a ? So I said I got a little too close to a Raf lad. 
And guess what, Ben then went on fb, 5 mins later I get a text sayin hey :) x I had deleted his number but knew it was him. I replied sorry who's this? He text bk "ouch" 

I then said sorry I don't have this number stored. He replied "it's Jesus" I then said oh is this Ben? I must of deleted ur number while clearing my messages....oops! 

And he hasn't text bk haha that will teach him for taking me for granted and thinking he can mess a person around :) 
Childish but so funny


----------



## AbbynChloe

lol!!


----------



## fairydust87

moomin_troll said:


> The fact that my husband was army has put me off and I wouldn't wana fall for one because the amount of cheating when left to go camp to camp alone (I no not all) and I wouldn't drag my boys into that life for anyone but their own dad.
> He has text me, wanted a date but I made an excuse.
> Well I decided to wind up the lad I originally had a date with. On my Facebook I put the status "and I said I'd stay away from military men....bad Kimberley" someone put a ? So I said I got a little too close to a Raf lad.
> And guess what, Ben then went on fb, 5 mins later I get a text sayin hey :) x I had deleted his number but knew it was him. I replied sorry who's this? He text bk "ouch"
> 
> I then said sorry I don't have this number stored. He replied "it's Jesus" I then said oh is this Ben? I must of deleted ur number while clearing my messages....oops!
> 
> And he hasn't text bk haha that will teach him for taking me for granted and thinking he can mess a person around :)
> Childish but so funny

 Brilliant bin him off for good now. Eh men lol x


----------



## moomin_troll

Ile never understand what changed with Ben. He was so keen on text and got me liking him and excited to meet him :( but onwards and upwards! 
I might turn this into my dating journal lol

RAF lad has been texting me. He went out last night and ran into my mum :handface: but he said she was nice to him. 
I'm going to sound like a right slag lol but I don't want anything between us but I do think ile end up sleepin with him and just get the first time out of the way. 

I'm off out again on Saturday, it's a Christmas theme fancy dress party and then going into town. I have a feeling ile run into date 1 Ben, and it's kinda sad that I really hope I do :(


----------



## lemontree12

moomin_troll said:


> I'm going to sound like a right slag lol but I don't want anything between us but I do think ile end up sleepin with him and just get the first time out of the way:(

im so nervous for my first time again, it freaks me out


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> moomin_troll said:
> 
> 
> I'm going to sound like a right slag lol but I don't want anything between us but I do think ile end up sleepin with him and just get the first time out of the way:(
> 
> im so nervous for my first time again, it freaks me outClick to expand...

Me too! I feel like a virgin, plus having had another baby since I last dtd and my bodies changed so much (really hate it) I'm terrified! 
I do kinda feel if the times right I need to just bite the bullet and get drunk and just get it over and done with haha
I've always had the mind set of sex is just sex anyway. But sayin and doing are two very different things! 

I was even scared about kissing someone again. Got that out of the way with a random rugby player who I then found out was 19 lol I'm 24 :/


----------



## wcthoma1

Wow.. just very interesting stories..I wish I had one to tell but all I can think of is my baby's due date lol..can u say Miserable!


----------



## ZombieQueen

I had a good chuckle at that Facebook thing! Men are such idiots.. I'm so jealous of your courage!! My 21st birthday is in march, my mom is pleading with me to do something fun, but as lame as it sounds I just want to be home with baby. I can't imagine leaving her.. I'm so boring :cry:


----------



## Jennifurball

Even though I have been actively looking online for a man :blush: I can't actually go out with anyone, I can't even imagine kissing anyone so you are doing well with all this attention, enjoy it and try not to over think things. :flower:


----------



## moomin_troll

I'm 25 in march (Thomas would of been 27) he died when he was 25 so it's a hard birthday seen as I'd always call him old man n say ile never be as old as u. But now I am :/ 
Anyway downer! Lol
For my bday I'm going out dressed up as male builders haha then for Thomas' bday going out dressing as rock stars. 
Uve got to do something for ur 21st! U spend time with ur baby all the time. Life's too short to spend it alone and shutting urself away! 
I demand u make plans lol


----------



## moomin_troll

wcthoma1 said:


> Wow.. just very interesting stories..I wish I had one to tell but all I can think of is my baby's due date lol..can u say Miserable!

Ur babies due date isn't boring at all! That's as exciting as it gets x


----------



## Jennifurball

You could still involve LO in your birthday, maybe have a meal with close friends and family, being out will take your mind off things, I don't think of ex at all when I am busy, it is when I am sat at home with LO, my mind works overtime.

Sorry to hear about your OH. :(


----------



## moomin_troll

Jennifurball said:


> Even though I have been actively looking online for a man :blush: I can't actually go out with anyone, I can't even imagine kissing anyone so you are doing well with all this attention, enjoy it and try not to over think things. :flower:

I haven't even put half my crazy on here and it's so obvious I over think everything haha
I was terrified of the first kiss. A yr ago the thought made me physically sick. I got it over with and I felt nothing, which felt great if that makes sense lol


----------



## Jennifurball

I'm a bit crazy too when it comes to dating lol but I am going to give myself time to heal and not let the issues from my ex spill over to a new relationship. I really feel though that I am not going to meet anyone I like more than I did with ex, or someone I like enough to even get excited about a date.


----------



## moomin_troll

Jennifurball said:


> I'm a bit crazy too when it comes to dating lol but I am going to give myself time to heal and not let the issues from my ex spill over to a new relationship. I really feel though that I am not going to meet anyone I like more than I did with ex, or someone I like enough to even get excited about a date.

When my oh died we were the happiest we'd ever been. Just moved to a new house in Germany, our baby was 2 and planning our second and then it was all gone. I never thought I'd want to go near anyone else and the thought scared the crap out of me. It's been a hard 2 yrs and it was only 2 months ago that I decided I'd had enough of feeling lonely. 
Didn't think I'd like someone again tho. Unfortunately I liked the wrong lad, date 1 lol and he canceled. Maybe he didn't rearrange at the time for good reason but I wasn't willing to put myself out there that much n risk getting hurt. Although I very much doubt anyone will be able to hurt me again. 
It's a shame because I was really staring to like him even before we met.
We shouldn't be scared to put ourselves out their again. We deserve to let out hair down and have abit of adult time


----------



## lemontree12

the last time i dtd, my daughter was made, goodness how some much as changed, iv kissed one bloke since then. sometimes i think, i just want to get that first time over with and others i think i will wait until its with someone special, other than my ex its been 5years.

but talking about dating, on saturday i decided to give up up the dating thing and tried to delete my dating account, 4times i tried to cancel and it wouldnt. come sunday i had this message from a really hot bloke (well my type) we have spend nearly 3days talking all day, and he really has made me laugh again. :)


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> the last time i dtd, my daughter was made, goodness how some much as changed, iv kissed one bloke since then. sometimes i think, i just want to get that first time over with and others i think i will wait until its with someone special, other than my ex its been 5years.
> 
> but talking about dating, on saturday i decided to give up up the dating thing and tried to delete my dating account, 4times i tried to cancel and it wouldnt. come sunday i had this message from a really hot bloke (well my type) we have spend nearly 3days talking all day, and he really has made me laugh again. :)

Wow that's great :D hope he turns out to be a decent bloke, but just have fun flirting again.

I am definitely in the mind set if just getting my first time out of the way. 
Hopefully my mum will have both boys at her house over night in jan, ile be going out and i will be bringing the RAF lad home. 

My thinking is get it over and done with, with someone I'm not bothered about so that way I won't get hurt. Because if u waited for someone special dtd and they screwed me over it would hurt a lot more knowing that it was a big deal to me.

Im getting my man head on and having sex with no feelings lol


----------



## Jennifurball

It doesn't happen to be match.com does it? I tried to cancel mine the other day but it won't do it! That is good news about the hot bloke.

I am actually gonna wait for someone special this time, restore my faith in men. Last time I split with my ex, before LO was around, I am ashamed to say I slept around to get over him but it made me feel worse so I am going to take it slow and do it the old fashioned way this time!


----------



## moomin_troll

I tried to be a slag once and had a one night stand.....I ended up marrying haha

U shouldn't be ashamed because u slept around, it's only sex


----------



## Jennifurball

Tried to be a slag haha. :haha:

At the time, I thought I was ok, dated loads, didn't sleep with all of them but ex found out and said I was a dirty slapper. He was just jealous cos he never pulled. Now I have it all to go through again. :/


----------



## moomin_troll

Funny how men are so quick to call women names because they omg shock horror....have sex lol

Haha yes I tried to be a slag, I'd just left an ex after 3 yrs of hell. I was only 19 and wanted fun. Met oh in a club n thought he was a dickhead but very cute. He won me over lol 

It's so scary thinking wow I'm back in the dating world, which I've never really been in properly before. 
This RAF lad likes me a lot more then I like him, but I refuse to have a relationship with someone in the military again, so he can agree to have some fun and see what happens or go our separate ways. 
I'm scared to death of being single again but I'm going to make sure I have fun. 
Obviously my main job is being a mummy so sometimes I need to let my hair down. I'm going to be in town dressed as an elf on Saturday. Ile be meeting up with a rugby team. 2 of which both 19 I've had a thing with lol
One was the first lad I gave my number to and we were texting for ages but nothing happened and the other was my first kiss. This could be a very awkward or funny night lol


----------



## ZombieQueen

moomin_troll said:


> I tried to be a slag once and had a one night stand.....I ended up marrying haha
> 
> U shouldn't be ashamed because u slept around, it's only sex

:rofl::rofl: I found this hilarious for some reason!

but I'm definitely looking forward to hearing of saturday!! Why are you going as an elf?


----------



## moomin_troll

It's Christmas theme and saw a cute elf outfit lol tried it on today and love it! But it's so short haha


----------



## ZombieQueen

Short can be fun! Lol a little wild is healthy!


----------



## moomin_troll

If I had a body I was happy with I'd be more then happy flashing my butt (that's how short it is haha) but I can't wait! Lol started to feel ill :( got a sore throat! Bugs just can't stay away from me recently


----------



## moomin_troll

Well the night I met the RAF lad my mate was with his mate. 
Anyway we have been asked on a double date in January :) we are going to a city near us for a meal an night out. Plus me and my friend are going for a spa day before hand :D 

I'm not that into him but I'm looking forward to it :)


----------



## lemontree12

iv arranged to met this bloke next friday, iv got serious butterflies :)


----------



## AbbynChloe

Oh ladies i am starting to feel jealous, and rather inspired....

gonna share a my secret - i've never slept with anyone other than FOB, he was my first. how sad i'm nearly thirth and have only slept with one man :-(

so now i am scared, i don't know how to even begin?? :-(


----------



## lemontree12

goodness, i can imagine how you feel. in the last 5years iv only slept with fob and that was barely never, like literally 1/2 times a year. (he lend me to believe he had sex issues when really he was cheating on me) he has now left me with a fear, so i cant imagine how you feel.

do you think you want to get it out the way or wait for someone specail?


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> iv arranged to met this bloke next friday, iv got serious butterflies :)

YAY!!!!! That's amazing, good luck!
Such a nice feeling getting butterflies again. 
I've still been texting RAF lad and he's really sweet n his mate says he's totally smitten. I can not let myself get attached! But I have decided if it still feels right on the night when we go for this double date ile be sleeping with him.......eeeekk! Scared but excited


----------



## moomin_troll

It's nothing to be embarrassed about only sleeping with one man at all! X


----------



## lemontree12

moomin_troll said:


> It's nothing to be embarrassed about only sleeping with one man at all! X

exactly its something to be proud about these days :)



iv been on a few dates, and chatted to a few blokes on that dating website, but im so fussy and myprefect type isnt common. and he is actually amazing. i havent felt butterflies is so long, not even fob produced butterflies.
so as you can tell im proper nervious.

getting it over with is so hard, i dont have any family around, so it will always be babysitters here. and id rather keep my daughter out of things as long as possible. 

you really sound ready, which is so good. :) when is your date?

x


----------



## moomin_troll

I sound ready now but I will be bricking it! Hahaha
It's not until January at some point. He's gone home for Christmas and when he comes back he's away on training. I live in stafford and we have a big army/RAF camp so there's a lot of the lads around lol

He's a really nice lad, we get on so he's the perfect "get it over and done with" lad haha I'm so romantic :/ haha

Well I'm off out tonight in my very tiny Christmas outfit! I'm really hoping date 1 is out so I can rub it in his face that he missed out, that sounds so big headed tho lol


----------



## AbbynChloe

part of me wants to wait until "someone special" but then i think i'm gonna turn it into a bigger deal than it actually is - it is just sex after all??

in the new year i will be proactive, i don't want to be single anymore - but the man isn't just gonna fall into my lap, i'm gonna have to be a little more proactive..........


----------



## moomin_troll

Exactly, sex is just sex so we shouldn't be scared of it. Because its been so long i have been building it up in my head and making it seem like a big deal when for me before sex wasnt a big deal.

And likes been said on here even tho I'm so self conscious if a man wants me and wants to be with me he won't be looking at my stomach and picking fault. 

This should be the dating support group instead of just my journey, it should be all of ours!


----------



## ZombieQueen

Sounds like you ladies are having some success! I got inspired to get on my dating profile I made a few months back.. But I'm more annoyed by it than anything.. I have like 5 pages of unread messages constantly, but only ONE I find remotely attractive. He's on another island though, which is good for me at this time. I actually get excited to get a new message from him :thumbup:

And abbynchloe, that's something to be proud of!!


----------



## lemontree12

i had some many unread messages, from blokes that really aint my type, thats why i went to delete my account.
im a real personality type of girl (does have to have alittle looks) i love someone that can make me laugh, and being on that site i was finding myself being vein, it wasnt what i was planning on doing but i did...
until i tried to delete my account, then i get a message from mister prefect :) 
he ticks every single box :)


----------



## ZombieQueen

Ooh I wish I could find a mr.perfect! I see a few that I drool a little over, but they're all in California and such :shrug: Hawaii has slim pickings. I really can't stand when guys send like 10 messages because you don't reply.. Like.. Calm down bro :dohh:


----------



## lemontree12

how far is cal from you?
yea i hate that too, such a turn off
the ones i drool over arent the ones i go for tbh, fob was the only overly good looking bloke iv went for, and he turned out to be the horriblest person i know, so i should always listen to my gut :)


----------



## ZombieQueen

lemontree12 said:


> how far is cal from you?
> yea i hate that too, such a turn off
> the ones i drool over arent the ones i go for tbh, fob was the only overly good looking bloke iv went for, and he turned out to be the horriblest person i know, so i should always listen to my gut :)

I'm in Hawaii, so it's a great distance. But closer than the rest of the US!

I'm bad, I go for the good looking guys :dohh: you're smart not to.. I just can't help it, I guess I'm shallow.. :shrug: that's probably why I married a jerkoff.


----------



## moomin_troll

What a night! I've had RAF lad texting me, he's such a sweetheart!
Then I've had a crush on my bils friend for awhile but he's got a gf who hates me lol. So never tried anything with him.
Well tonight he kept looking at me and then onthe dance floor he kept dancing with me and then when a lad tried to talk to me he stood in the way and said he was my fella! Clearly he likes me too which is confusing! I don't need the drama.

I was then in the smoking area ( I'm a social smoker) this lad asked for a fag so I gave him one cuz he was cute. I then saw him later n ended up kissin him at the bar. Omg he's beautiful! He's texting me now lol 
Can't quiet believe I've got so much interest. 
Been a very good night haha


----------



## ZombieQueen

Oh man! Sounds like a very good night!! :happy dance: you're just having too much fun! Haha


----------



## moomin_troll

My head feels like it's going to explode! Hahaha well that's my nights out done with till January. 
So much fun, even tho one if my mates wondered off and wouldn't text me back.... I no she will be alright tho lol


----------



## AbbynChloe

wooooh! Moonmin thats sounds like a fantastic night!! well jel!! Check you out!

and I totally agree we should make a singleparents dating suppot thread!  

do you have any pics of this outfit (might need to invest!!)


----------



## moomin_troll

The lad from the smoking area has asked to meet. There was no spark when he kissed me and even tho he is so beautiful it hurts haha I'm not going to. 

Can't believe all this attention lol I have no idea how to upload pictures on here using my phone, but ile go on the laptop later and get one up haha


----------



## AbbynChloe

LOOOOOOL!! loving the name change of the thread - maybe we should ask Wobbles to make it a sticky??

i am so excited for you - even thou no spark you're still gonna meet up right?? see whats he is like in the daylight without the beautifying effects of alcohol?? xxxx


----------



## moomin_troll

AbbynChloe said:


> LOOOOOOL!! loving the name change of the thread - maybe we should ask Wobbles to make it a sticky??
> 
> i am so excited for you - even thou no spark you're still gonna meet up right?? see whats he is like in the daylight without the beautifying effects of alcohol?? xxxx

Ile send her a message later and get it a sticky :D 

I wasn't going to bother meeting him, and definitely not in the daylight hahaha next time I go on a girly night out ile text him and see if he's out.
My sister saw him and said no Kimberley u can't go there he's gorgeous and I don't want to fancy someone u get with! Haha 
He looked like a gladiator (roman ones not the shitty programme) he was so beautiful. He wouldn't tell me how old he was tho! With my luck he will be 15 hahaha


----------



## lemontree12

wow check you out moomin :)
it sounds like its coming at the right time, it sounds like your ready to move on, i guess they say you send out those vibes.

we def need a dating sticky, it nice to hear others stories, and moral support with the nevs of going out on a date. also theres questions like when to introduce lo etc, its worth a try. 

yes zombie, fob is the only realy good looking bloke iv been with and hes a disgusting person, so i vow to never go there agan. i also prefer not so ft (they def has to be some visical attraction, but im a personality sort of girl) i am also friends with all my exs apart from the good looking asshole. so i do think it speaks volumes. i was never cheated on apart from the good looking asshole, and always treated properly, apart from the good looking asshole.. iv learnt my lession :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Just reading "ur ready to move on" has made me feel all emotional lol and not in a bad way. 
i just never thought id want to be ready again let alone have men interested in me and me in them.
I lucked out with my husband. He was gorgeous, funny, treated me like a queen and an amazing dad. 
So it is possible, just rare to get the whole package lol

I love reading about everyone's thoughts, feelings and stories so I think it's great to have a place we can come because we are all in the same boat.


----------



## AbbynChloe

[email protected] - from the way you've described him I raelly REALLY hope he is not 15!!

and yes reading everyone elses stories just makes me feel like I am not the odd one out who finds it so difficult to start dating again, would love a place we could motivate each other, adn seek advice (like how much has sex changed in the last 4 years? is it all Christian Grey-type craziness??)


----------



## moomin_troll

I haven't red those books so I hope not! Hahaha I'd be clueless.
My friend told me sex is like riding a bike.....I can't ride a bike hahaha
I text him asking how old he is and he's not replied! I think he's going to be a child. A very gorgeous deceiving child haha


----------



## AbbynChloe

having not had sex in a very long time, those books helped me!!

lol i haven't ridden a bike since childhood - although the way i see it there is more chance of me getting on a bike than on a man hehehehe

i PRAY he is not a child!!


----------



## moomin_troll

If he ever tells me his age ile let u no haha
I'd be more scared getting on a bike then I would a man hahaha


----------



## ZombieQueen

moomin_troll said:


> I'd be more scared getting on a bike then I would a man hahaha

:rofl::rofl: I feel the same way, but I actually know how to ride a bike! I've just fallen off too many times.. But I've certainly never fallen off a man :haha:

And the way you're describing the young man you kissed.. Yum! I'm moving to your city!


----------



## AbbynChloe

ZombieQueen said:


> moomin_troll said:
> 
> 
> I'd be more scared getting on a bike then I would a man hahaha
> 
> :rofl::rofl: I feel the same way, but I actually know how to ride a bike! I've just fallen off too many times.. *But I've certainly never fallen off a man *:haha:
> 
> !Click to expand...

I have........:blush: long story.............


----------



## moomin_troll

He really was stunning! I should of took a picture hahah

Omg how do u fall off a man? I'm now intrigued!

Well RAF lad called me today, he's so sweet. Something I don't think I've mentioned is that he had a baby girl, she's 4 months old and today he was praising me for being able to bring up 2 boys by myself. Think I might be starting to actually like him :wacko:


----------



## Shezza84uk

Pls tell how you fell off a man lol.. 

Moomin-troll I am probably just being a skeptic with the RAF guy but I hate the fact he left his baby and praise you for being on your own something about that makes me have flash back and he sorts of fit the typical military lad stigma what d you think?? I might be wrong tho xx


----------



## ZombieQueen

Why isn't he with her mom? 4 months is so young! But I'm probably just paranoid since my girl is so young and her dad is a lying sack of lard... 

But I simply MUST know how you fell off a man!!!


----------



## moomin_troll

Shezza84uk said:


> Pls tell how you fell off a man lol..
> 
> Moomin-troll I am probably just being a skeptic with the RAF guy but I hate the fact he left his baby and praise you for being on your own something about that makes me have flash back and he sorts of fit the typical military lad stigma what d you think?? I might be wrong tho xx

He was already signed up to the RAF when she got pregnant and she dumbed him, he was heart broken. Shes already living with another man whos just come out if prison. But I totally get where ur coming from. 
I no that if anything was to happen between us it will only last aslong as his post does because I won't do long distance with a lad in that job lol 
I've got my eyes wide open because I do no what these men are like having been married to one haha


----------



## lemontree12

do you girls have facebook? it would be nice to put faces to names :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Great idea :) https://m.facebook.com/?refsrc=http.../&_rdr#!/kimberley.andrews.9?__user=510017558 hope that link works, I'm on my phone


----------



## lemontree12

it didnt work
heres mine
https://www.facebook.com/louise.lyttle.169?ref=tn_tnmn


----------



## ZombieQueen

Lemon I can't add you :shrug: are your settings set to only friends of friends can add?

Anyways, here's me https://www.facebook.com/aiko.gillette?ref=tn_tnmn


----------



## Shezza84uk

This is my link to fb https://www.facebook.com/kerry.wynter


----------



## Shezza84uk

moomin_troll said:


> Shezza84uk said:
> 
> 
> Pls tell how you fell off a man lol..
> 
> Moomin-troll I am probably just being a skeptic with the RAF guy but I hate the fact he left his baby and praise you for being on your own something about that makes me have flash back and he sorts of fit the typical military lad stigma what d you think?? I might be wrong tho xx
> 
> He was already signed up to the RAF when she got pregnant and she dumbed him, he was heart broken. Shes already living with another man whos just come out if prison. But I totally get where ur coming from.
> I no that if anything was to happen between us it will only last aslong as his post does because I won't do long distance with a lad in that job lol
> I've got my eyes wide open because I do no what these men are like having been married to one hahaClick to expand...


Lol thats probably why i'm skeptical as well spending so many years engaged to an army lad teaches so much x 

I have sent friend requests, I could add you Lemon tree x

Edit..
Thank you for the add ladies apologies in advance for the random sometimes wacky status updates lol x


----------



## moomin_troll

I'm always doing random status's lol


----------



## moomin_troll

I got a random text off RAF lad last night. Sayin "just a wee text to let u no I'm thinking about u"

He's so sweet. Actually excited for when I see him again


----------



## AbbynChloe

thats so cute!!

My fb is hard to find so i'll add u chicks if thats ok  later thou as i really should be working right now.

And can i say it is a lot easier to fall off a man than it sounds, esp if you dtd somewhere you shouldnt and thought someone might see you...... esp if its outside........


----------



## moomin_troll

AbbynChloe said:


> thats so cute!!
> 
> My fb is hard to find so i'll add u chicks if thats ok  later thou as i really should be working right now.
> 
> And can i say it is a lot easier to fall off a man than it sounds, esp if you dtd somewhere you shouldnt and thought someone might see you...... esp if its outside........

Hahahaha!


----------



## moomin_troll

Raf lad called again tonight. He's so sweet and he obviously likes me and I've started to like him but I need to meet him now to see if he shows it. 

Well I've also had the random lad I kissed texting me a min ago. He's 22! So atleast he's not a baby lol


----------



## Jennifurball

Here is my fb https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.burton.5876 some of my status' are awful lol so please take them in jest if you add me ;)

Glad you are getting some excitement, while I am getting nothing, I keep wanting ex back, it is tragic. :dohh:


----------



## moomin_troll

Get over him by getting under someone else! ;) Hahaha joking :) 
I think I've jumped in the deep end getting back in the dating world as quickly as I have, but if I make afew mistakes it doesn't matter. Life's for living ladies and that's what we've for to start doing.
Happy Christmas to those of us who celebrate it x


----------



## moomin_troll

For some reason I can't add u jennifurball :/


----------



## ZombieQueen

I also can't add you! But I agree with the whole get over him by getting under someone else (minus the under part hahah) because I'm also struggling to stop wanting ex.. I've started talking to guys and I feel a bit better.


----------



## moomin_troll

It's weird because even tho I'm a single mum I haven't hs to deal with a break up while having children. And I don't have to get over fob. 
We don't need a man, but they can be fun lol


----------



## AbbynChloe

Merry Christmas all my lovely ladies!!!! xxxx


----------



## moomin_troll

It's official. I'm going on a date with RAF lad :) it is a double date with mine and his mate on the 4 th jan. I'm really excited! 
We've text a little today and spoke on the phone twice. He's so sweet and funny, I don't look at him and think omg ur gorgeous but I'm going to see how things go. Either way I think it's safe to say I've found my "get it over and done with" man lol


----------



## fairydust87

Jennifer you dont want your ex back!  and Moomin you need to give us some of your sexy alluring mojo its selfish to have it all to yourself. Share the love girl!  xx


----------



## Shezza84uk

wooohooo dont forget to update!! I need a get it over and done with man lol I cant add you Jennifer, I hopr you all had a great Christmas I went to my mums and cooked up a storm xx


----------



## moomin_troll

I attract military men like flys to sh*t lol
I don't think this one will mess me about like date 1 did.

Just realising how many lads I've had interested over the past month and I look like a hoe!! Hahaha

I'm very happy to have a get it over with guy, altho closer to the time I no I'm going to be so scared


----------



## teal

Oooh I hope your double date goes well :D


----------



## Jennifurball

I wish I could meet someone special who gives me butterflies where I am watching my phone for a text! :haha:

I even pay on match.com and still nothing!! :blush:


----------



## fairydust87

Jennifurball said:


> I even pay on match.com and still nothing!! :blush:

You pay? How much?


----------



## lemontree12

eeeek just an update, been on my date, and i stand by it, he is still bloody amazing :)
next one friday :)


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> eeeek just an update, been on my date, and i stand by it, he is still bloody amazing :)
> next one friday :)

Oh wow!!! YAY glad it went so well.

I've just got off the phone to RAF lad, been talking for an hour. He keeps telling me how much he enjoys talking to me and he can't wait for next friday. 
The topic of sex has been bought up! We've both just said lets see what happens. We are going out if town on the date so staying in a hotel, both sharing rooms with our mates. 

He's then said if Friday goes well he wants to come round my house for a meal. He's never watched my favourite film before, so ile be sticking that on.....ile be asking my mum if she will have the boys at her house, but I no she won't. So I just have to hope the boys settle ok and sleep well lol

Altho I do feel bad. He was walking about new yrs and at 12 he wants to call me.
I said oh don't do that, u should be kissing some random girl. He said no, I've got a date with a gorgeous girl called Kimberley (me) on Friday so I'm waiting for her! 
He's so dam sweet, I feel guilty for kissing that lad the other night now


----------



## dickybird

I joined a dating website (Plenty of Fish) about nine months ago- met a lovely lad, got pregnant and when I told him he did a runner. Not heard from him since, but it was only 10 or so days ago. No biggie- not like I would even give him a chance now he decided to do a runner!

I'm pregnant now and I am lonely- but I don't think i'm going to find anyone who will date a pregnant girl, especially one who is 19 and already has 3 year old twins :haha:


----------



## moomin_troll

dickybird said:


> I joined a dating website (Plenty of Fish) about nine months ago- met a lovely lad, got pregnant and when I told him he did a runner. Not heard from him since, but it was only 10 or so days ago. No biggie- not like I would even give him a chance now he decided to do a runner!
> 
> I'm pregnant now and I am lonely- but I don't think i'm going to find anyone who will date a pregnant girl, especially one who is 19 and already has 3 year old twins :haha:

I've had a friend who met a guy when she was pregnant, it does and can happen but tbh when I've been pregnant I don't think I'd have the energy! Lol

Can't believe he's just ignored u! What an absolute prick! Congrats on ur pregnancy! And wow 3 yr old twins! Uve sure got ur hands full x


----------



## dickybird

Tbh..im glad. I could of really fallen for him and THEN he could of shown his true colors. It will take a lot for me to even consider him letting him being a part of this pregnancy/his child's life. 

I might try...no harm in trying as they say :)


----------



## moomin_troll

dickybird said:


> Tbh..im glad. I could of really fallen for him and THEN he could of shown his true colors. It will take a lot for me to even consider him letting him being a part of this pregnancy/his child's life.
> 
> I might try...no harm in trying as they say :)

I hope he grows a pair and stands up an acts like a man! He had sex with u what the hell did he think could happen?
I hate that some men can walk away so easily!


----------



## lemontree12

yea hes pretty amazing, and said lastnight, hes never been like this with someone hes hardly meet. which is exactly the same as me, i usually grow to like someone.
i think we are going to come to mine and im going to cook tomorrow. my little girl is going to be minded by my friend for a few hours.

moonin, does your mum look after your boys often? or do you have to get sitters in? my mums not here often as she lives in a different country but when she is here, shes really good and its literally a break, and let me go out etc. but most of the time i will have to get paid sitters in.

oooh dont feel gulity about kissing that other bloke, you went into this not wanting to start to like him, i def wouldnt feel guilty just go with.
xx


----------



## moomin_troll

My mum will sometimes babysit for me but in my house. She's had both boys at her twice, so don't think she would :( and the past few times ive been out ive had to pay my little sister to look after them. if i wasnt offering money the little tw*t wouldnt do it lol
but I have warned him the boys will be in bed when he comes round...he wanted to buy them presents lol but I said nah ur not meeting them (hopefully they will stay in bed) 
Yeah I really didn't think I'd like him. I'm being vain lol but going from just looks he's really not my type but we shall see if we hit it off again face to face.

Woooo having him over at urs for a meal sounds like a really good night :) when RAF lad comes mine I'm making him watch a film, lost boys lol he's never seen it and its my favourite


----------



## lemontree12

yea im going to start to pay someone, my little girl has finally started to sleep in her room with less fuss. so give it a few more weeks and hopefully she should be sorted :)

he sounds like a catch, hes excepted your boys, and even wanted to get them gifts, although i totally agree with you with not meeting them.

i stand by the fact to not go for looks, i wrote a post in this thread about fob being good looking and hes the only bloke to cheat on me on alot of occassions and treat me like dirt. if you go for someone average, then your always prefect to them and they go out of their way to keep you. just my theory :) plus i love someone who can make me laugh. fob literally took longer than me to get ready to go out, prob twice as much... loves himself so it was prob clear he was going to cheat.

x


----------



## moomin_troll

My oh was gorgeous so I feel like I'm downgrading haha 
But yeah he's a really nice guy, he likes me and hes just himself so no weird games. But he's RAF! I can't let things get serious, he's going afghan in June aswel and I really can't go thru that. 

I'm really looking forward to our date and I'm hoping things go well and then ile invite him round mine. But the boys will be in bed so its a case of I can't let him stay over because then the morning after Ofcourse my boys will be up. 
Wondered when I'd start to over think things again haha


----------



## lemontree12

i suprised it hasnt already started lol
just get some wine as dutch courage :)


----------



## moomin_troll

He just called and I've got Zane all over me so he said hello to Zane lol

I've really been missing Thomas my oh this Christmas, wasnt so bad last ur so duno why it's hit me so hard. Just made me feel really stressed out :( hasn't helped that zanes really playing up for me recently so just so drained! 

On the date we are going for a meal and then a gay club I really want to go to lol so ile be having afew drinks but not letting myself get pissed haha 

I really want to be able to invite him over without having to worry about him bein near my kids. Dating with babies is so bloody hard


----------



## lemontree12

on my date, we went out to a bar, we kinda had a bit to drink so he came back to mine for coffee before driving (literally really coffee not 'coffee' lol) my mum was there, little one was sleeping but she woke up, sometimes it cant be helped, as long as its not 3blokes a week type thing.

its so understandable with christmas missing your husband, you might find it was harder this year because you are moving on, if you get what i mean.
x


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> on my date, we went out to a bar, we kinda had a bit to drink so he came back to mine for coffee before driving (literally really coffee not 'coffee' lol) my mum was there, little one was sleeping but she woke up, sometimes it cant be helped, as long as its not 3blokes a week type thing.
> 
> its so understandable with christmas missing your husband, you might find it was harder this year because you are moving on, if you get what i mean.
> x

Don't think I could manage 3 blokes hahaha! But yeah ile invite him round but say he can't stay over because of the boys and I don't want to introduce them to him. He will understand that, and if not that's his problem.

I think ur right about its been harder because I am moving on. But then again I no it's still going to be like this in 20 yrs time. Ile always have moments.


----------



## lemontree12

i was going to say that, he will always be special in more ways, big one being the boys dad.

yea he sounds like hes a good bloke he will def understand. nervous yet?
im excited for mine tomorrow ;)


----------



## moomin_troll

Not nervous yet, feeling excited but I no I will be bricking it closer to the time. Me and the boys have had norovirus the past few weeks so I'm praying that doesn't come back :S that's what's scaring me the most lol

But what's scaring me is I don't want to fall for him, I'm hoping things can go the way I want n just have fun and nothing too serious.
If anything I'm over thinking his job lol


----------



## lemontree12

i really dont blame you to be honest, but they say you cant help who you fall for. :)
id just go with it, see what happens. i find if i tell myself not to like someone i actually fall for them, kinda like wanting something you shouldnt
x


----------



## moomin_troll

I told myself to stay away from military, that's hard in this town haha and I do love a jock hahaha 
I'm just working myself up over something that I don't need to worry about. But he bought it up the other day on the phone that his job gets in the way so he's always worried about getting into a relationship. 
Atleast it's not just me lol 
I need to relax and go with the flow. Just all of a sudden I feel I've got the weight of the world on my back


----------



## lemontree12

im not saying i know how you feel, but every so often i catch myself on and get so scared of being hurt again. 
hes so nice and seems keen too, he just texted to say he doesnt no if he can sleep tonight with excitment.


----------



## moomin_troll

Aww that's so cute! 

Well just as I decide to have a mini break down (made worse by the act Zane is refusing to go to sleep) he's just text me with the sweetest thing and now I feel like my heads been scrambled


----------



## dickybird

Joined plenty of fish again today after persuasion from my sister- she signed me up :haha: 

Its awkward though because people blantantly don't read your profile- and then after talking they could find out you have kids/are pregnant (because they didnt read about it in the first place) so I dunno :wacko:


----------



## lemontree12

does he get much time at home?


----------



## moomin_troll

Raf are always being sent away for odd weeks and months away. Plus he's going afghan for 6 months and I don't no how long he's posted here for! 

Dickybird I couldn't join a dating site! Ur a brave woman lol


----------



## moomin_troll

Wow I was on the phone to him for 3 and half hours last night! Well early hours of this morning. So tired hahaha
He really is the sweetest guy


----------



## lemontree12

wow that is good going, 3hours, there must be some sort of spark there to be able to talk for 3hours.
jesus i just seen 4am, thats mental.
the worst thing is no matter what time you go to bed or have a hangover, your special alarm clock will wake you demanding breakfast :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Oh yes lol the special alarm clocks.
We really can get on the phone and talk rubbish lol he was abit drunk so repeated himself afew times. 
But we just get on, he's easy to talk to and he's really funny. He was saying how much he likes me already so he's hoping the date goes well (horrible having to wait so long!) he saw a picture of me and was like Kimberley wow u are stunning. And that was like I can't believe ur actually interested in me. 
At one point the conversation got very flirty indeed haha


----------



## omfgski

...


----------



## moomin_troll

Personally I agree with u, that sounds weird. 
I admire men who do date a woman with children but having children isn't who we are so it shouldn't even be an issue. 
I've said to the lad I'm starting to date that I don't need him to play a part in my children's lives just as I won't be playing any kind of role in his daughters. 
That's something to disgus way way down the line lol
And welcome to the group :D all are welcome to barge in lol

I've been texting RAF lad as usual and before the big date Friday we are going on a mini date the night before as that's when he's back in town. Nervous and excited but now I have nooo idea what to wear!!!! Nooooo lol


----------



## lemontree12

ok, just sitting, downing some alcohol waiting for him to arrive, hopefully il be slightly tipsy to take these nerves away :)


----------



## omfgski

...


----------



## lemontree12

thanks omfgski
sorry iv dont understand what your comment ment? for me, it would never be an issue if someone had kids

x


----------



## omfgski

...


----------



## moomin_troll

Woo hope ur having a great night lemon tree.
Just got a call off RAF lad saying he was turning his phone off because he just had a really nasty all of his ex (one he has the baby with) and her mother. 
He didn't go into detail thank god lol because I really don't want to get involved in that because I don't no her side. Oh dear lol


----------



## AbbynChloe

have not run off been a busy couple of days - right in the next 4 days gonna sign up to a dating site! i wanna date!!!!


----------



## moomin_troll

AbbynChloe said:


> have not run off been a busy couple of days - right in the next 4 days gonna sign up to a dating site! i wanna date!!!!

YAY! Good luck
So happy to not feel like I'm doing this on my own and I have other gorgeous ladies going through it all with me :D


----------



## lemontree12

well youll be pleased to know i broke my year and a half ban ;)


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> well youll be pleased to know i broke my year and a half ban ;)

Hahahaha go u! He's a very lucky man indeed.


----------



## lemontree12

Ermm don't no. 
I'm pleased iv broke the ban, but really not 100% sure. He's so quiet we barely chatted but could write about 20 texts in an hour..

Just not sure!!


----------



## moomin_troll

Nerves are the worst! Everyone is brave behind a text! Give him another date and see how it goes. I bet it will be better.

Talking of hiding behind texts lol when I first decided to get myself back out there I have my number to a lad, who I then found out was 19 lol I'm 24. 
We texted for ages and really got on then he freaked out n went weird. 
We carried on talking here and there and mates on Facebook. Out of the blue he started to text me the other day and 3 days on he's still trying his luck and wants to meet up haha I no he only wants sex, he was my original get it over and done with guy lol but nothing happened.

Silly boy, I'm texting him and messing with him lol as if he's got a chance. 

Got a text off my big sister asking if I wanted to go out, my little sisters babysitting who I have to pay but still excited to be getting out. 
Then I'm out 2 nights next week with RAF lad :D


----------



## dickybird

Eugh, thought I found a keeper but he is ridiculously clingy- if you don't reply to him within five minutes then he just sends a load of weird crap and asking why you are ignoring him- so I've had to block him :( shame because he seemed lovely and he was gorgeous too. 

Why do I have to be so god damn fussy, and why does it seem like I am surrounded by the most chav riddled areas of Britain :sick:. I'm sick of looking at chipolota sausages that "men" think resemble six packs- and why do they think a pimped out Vauxhall corsa is going to impress me :wacko:.


----------



## moomin_troll

dickybird said:


> Eugh, thought I found a keeper but he is ridiculously clingy- if you don't reply to him within five minutes then he just sends a load of weird crap and asking why you are ignoring him- so I've had to block him :( shame because he seemed lovely and he was gorgeous too.
> 
> Why do I have to be so god damn fussy, and why does it seem like I am surrounded by the most chav riddled areas of Britain :sick:. I'm sick of looking at chipolota sausages that "men" think resemble six packs- and why do they think a pimped out Vauxhall corsa is going to impress me :wacko:.

Oh dear! I had a mate who went on online dating and she met a fair few weirdos lol but afew nice lads.

Good luck!


----------



## dickybird

Don't think I'll be around much longer- also sick of boys who look about 12 messaging me :wacko:

How did you meet your guy moomin?


----------



## ~RedLily~

Do you mind if I join in? :lol:

I am going to start the search on New Years eve and I have told my best friend she can set me up lol. I can't do dating sites I am way too shy to start conversations and get really picky so find fault with all the guys.
I am so clueless with guys now, haven't spoken to one for I don't know how long :dohh:


----------



## lemontree12

welcome redlily..

he was so quite, he literally watched telly the whole time, apart from the obvious... i literally spoke about everything, including weather... hes really fit.
to top it off i felt like shit about my weight, i have literally seemed to put a stone on over xmas.
after the who know what part, i felt so strange, it was the first person other than my ex in over 5yrs, it honestly felt weird, i even found myself thinking about conversations with my ex, how easy stuff was, i know you only look at things with rose tinted glasses after, and what he has done to me is so disgusting, i just kind of missed him.
i guess i will never full get over what he done to me.

i texted date bloke a banter message which usually would of made him laugh, which he wrote abit aggressive. i then explained what i meant and said would there be a next time which his reponse was i dont see why not.

looks like im still on the shelf, and probably will be for a while.
awhhh well


----------



## AbbynChloe

I still think you are really brave and I am so envious Lemontree....... 

Dickybird i don't think its fussy to dismiss a clingy man?? Chloe's dad used to tell me that I had "High expectations" adn before that used to really bother me - was i being too fussy and demanding?? then I though NO why should I lower my standards for anyone?? is that something i'd wanna teach Chloe?? that i'd settle for less?? errr no!

anyways to him my standards were too high, but to me they are just right  so what if I come across as fussy!


----------



## AbbynChloe

Hi Redlilly join in the fun!!


----------



## lemontree12

i dont no, we are still texting, mayb im being paranoid, i hate my body as it is, not overly long after having her, and xmas being a few days ago, i managed to eat heather trott, by the looks of things. mayb im being paranoid...
not sure f anyone beleives in things like this, but seen a meduim person last month, and was just reading back everything she said, and she has pretty much described him to a t and described me going negetive on him which is what im doing now i guess..

i dont no, but one thing i do no is, if nothin comes from this then i am completely scrapping dating and concentrating on my little girl, i feel like i neglected her yesterday, with tidying then getting ready, then she went to my friends, it has made me realise that im happy just being in love with her.


----------



## lemontree12

ooh and another things she said was and i quote...

' i feel he needs to be given a chance before you go all negative on him, how you see him out isnt how he is on one-one like two personalities.'

this is totally my issue now, in texts we text like 20per min banter witty stuff, but on our date he was so quiet, he watched telly, i actually asked about the weather, and mentioned that it was raining, ooh look it really raining now, loook the rains stopped. get my jist lol

but that lady has pointed it out. theres loads of stuff she says, so should i listen to her or actually think mayb he isnt interested?


----------



## AbbynChloe

Please please don't give up!! not so quickly anyways??

i don't believe in mediums etc.. but he could have just been having an off night?? and I am not a blunt person, but there is no harm in asking if he has an issue?? 

I love my baby and i know exactly what you mean, but put it in context, it was 1 night?? there are 365 days in a year you did not neglect her at all, you had a night off, and i thionk it was more than deserved.

Ok maybe being a little paranoid, every1 gains at winter (although if I ate heather trott no one would notice!!)

please please please don't give up on the dating!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## moomin_troll

Dickybird I met my lad in a pub :) 

Omg ladies it sounds like the start of a dodgy porn film but I pulled my window cleaner hahaha
I was in a club tonight, wasnt supposed to be out but got invited and jumped at the chance lol 
Well abit tipsy n over he comes lol I actually owed on my bill haha we got talking n I confessed I only "employed "him cuz he was cute lol and he said he gives me a discount cuz he thought I was fit haha and I ended up kissing him omg I'm terrible! No idea what's got into me! He offered to walk me home but I said nah I'm getting a taxi! I think he was after comin in my house lol but he knows where I live anyway haha

But omg turns out he's actually mates with the lad I was supposed to go on a date with when I first started this thread!!! Small world lol


----------



## lemontree12

haha i love it lol
you hould feel so flatered, how did the convo come up of that other bloke. when i first reaad it, i thought you were sayng he was friends with raf bloke lol


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> haha i love it lol
> you hould feel so flatered, how did the convo come up of that other bloke. when i first reaad it, i thought you were sayng he was friends with raf bloke lol

He was with the lad that date 1 was with when I met him hahaha 
So u was like hello josh! We got talking n then I told him to tell date 1 Ben that he really missed out lol
He then was trying it on haha but no I had my eyes on window cleaner :p 
I'm flattered because I looked horrible the day he quoted me so get in hahah


----------



## AbbynChloe

Moomin seriously!!!! boys are all over you like a rash!! jealous much!!!!!!!!!


----------



## moomin_troll

I've got a 19 yr old texting me, RAF lad who really likes me and now window cleaner has just text me hahaha
I'm in way over my head here! Hahaha


----------



## lemontree12

haha love it kim :)
you go girl, its a great boost 

im still texting date boy, he texted me at 2am drunk so i guess thats a good sign


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> haha love it kim :)
> you go girl, its a great boost
> 
> im still texting date boy, he texted me at 2am drunk so i guess thats a good sign

It's so exciting when u first start texting someone. Usually for me after 3 weeks it goes down hill but so far things aren't slowing down between me and RAF lad lol 

Window cleaner was textin me earlier, think he's building up to asking me out. RAF lads away week after this so ile go then so I don't get caught lol


----------



## lemontree12

it takes alot for me to be interested enough to even text, im usually bored after the second lol


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> it takes alot for me to be interested enough to even text, im usually bored after the second lol

I get so addicted to texting hahaha it's abit sad lol

Think I need a night away from lads tonight! Very hot shower, pjs and straight into bed! Ile even treat myself to clean sheets haha and sleep


----------



## lemontree12

sounds bliss :)
my little brother hasnt decided to move to my area, hes got a job here, and is moving in with me for a while.
so guess the up side is i finally have someone to look after my little lady for me to actually go out :)
bonus :)


----------



## ~RedLily~

Moomin I'm jealous, sounds like the lads are all over you :)

I've got to make more of an effort tomorrow night because the last couple of times I've got out I must just not seem very approachable. Shame I'm driving or I could have just had a couple of drinks to boost my confidence :lol:


----------



## moomin_troll

Wow the window cleaner has gone in for the kill haha we are going on a date Wednesday to a really nice restaurant and he's picking me up seen as he knows where I live hahaha
Then I'm seeing RAF guy Thursday and Friday!


----------



## moomin_troll

Well I was actually wearing a moustache again last night haha lads love it!!

But the window cleaner has seen me at my worst already. Messy hair, pjs at 10am with a screaming baby on me lol oh and also breastfeeding.....forgot about that one lol


----------



## ~RedLily~

Well maybe I should get myself a window cleaner :lol:

I'm hoping I'll at least get a new years kiss tomorrow lol


----------



## moomin_troll

I'm spending my night in with a mate. Eating pizza and drinking lol I hate new yrs


----------



## AbbynChloe

same here, New Yrs is always v quiet, i am borking!! maybe next year I can tempt myself out to a New Years Party


----------



## ~RedLily~

I think I will be having a quiet new year with the weather so bad. Where I was supposed to be going is a 45 min drive and it's tipping it down :dohh:


----------



## fairydust87

lemontree12 said:


> haha love it kim :)
> you go girl, its a great boost
> 
> im still texting date boy, he texted me at 2am drunk so i guess thats a good sign

Drunk texting isnt a good sign lemon. Does he text you when hes sober?

Edit: Actually ignore my post lol drunk texting is quite conflicted xx


----------



## moomin_troll

I love drunk texting and drunk phone calls lol


----------



## fairydust87

moomin_troll said:


> I love drunk texting and drunk phone calls lol

Out of curiosity..why? X


----------



## ~RedLily~

Drunk texts are great I think, all fun and flirty :lol:

Well the weather has cleared up so looking like I could still go out but my water has gone off (live on a farm) so I really hoping it comes back on soon so I can go out. Don't think I'll be pulling anyone with greasy hair and hairy legs :rofl:


----------



## lemontree12

yea he texts all day usually, but i thought a drunk text at the end of the night is promising.
mayb we should make a spending new years alone sticky, do you reakon my lo will no its new yrs eve and actually go to bed without a battle, and would i be pushing it if i asked her to sleep all night.... lol
my night will either consist of
a/ doing my gym work out of running up and down the stairs putting a dummy in to an over tired little girl.....
b/ in the bath with candles....
omg i am actually sad...

regarding date bloke, we are still texting loads, no set date of next and to be honest, im starting to think having a bloke in my life would be too much hard, and its not really fair on my little girl, and him for that matter. because literally a date with me, means a date with my kid.. exciting lol


----------



## moomin_troll

Drunk texts and calls are fun cuz u no they've been thinking about u and they can be very fun ;)
I drunk called RAF lad on Saturday, he was loving it! 

Well my mates coming round for a film, pizza and drink! Lol zanes not been going to bed till so late recently 1am last night :/ so I swear ile lock him in his room tonight lol


----------



## ZombieQueen

I'm with moomin! I love a good drunken text or call (as long as they are every night ha)

Happy New Years everyone! I'm a bum and hung out at home. In bed.

I've had some luck online (Long distance as I'm Soo not ready to be out and about) I'm happily flirting with a few guys, it's definitely progress from my cold man hating shell I've had on haha.


----------



## Shezza84uk

I've missed out been too busy facebooking lol 

HAPPY NEW YEAR LADIES 

I was munching away with my little girl ringing in the new year with my special munchkins. Good on you all for dating its such a great experience I too need a window cleaner lol lemon tree I wouldn't worry just go with the flow of things and be open to it. 

It's important not to be nieve but open to the adventure all the same! I'm so jealous of those dating lol I'm very body conscious so I don't know when I'll be ready x


----------



## moomin_troll

As some of u may have seen my status Facebook yesterday the window cleaner is certainly a charmer.
That boy has seen me in the morning covered in puke, pjs messy hair with kids all over me and he says he's fancied me for the past year and says he never noticed me looking rough but he loves my pjs haha
I've said I now need advanced warning to when he's coming to do my windows so I can glam up, he's not longer aloud to see me looking bad! Hahaha
I had my night in with a mate n we didn't get to sleep till gone 5am! Cores had me up since 8.... Noooo but could be worse haha
In the very early hours RAF lad called. I asked if he got a new yrs kiss and that I had got one.... Then said with my mate lol
He said no he hadnt n that he knows he shouldn't but the thought of knowing I had kissed a man would make him so jealous.
Oh dear! Certainly not telling him I'm seeing other ppl now unless he asks lol


----------



## lemontree12

happy new year :)
ok ended up going out lastnight, getting slightly worse for wear :)
anyway date boy was texting all night really flirty banter messages, then at the end, now i was pretty drunk so im only remembering this i asked when was i going to see him again to his reply 'I DONT NO IF I WANT TO' not sure if ths was a joke or serious.


----------



## moomin_troll

Wtf! If he's spending his night texting u that's showing he's keen but then that :/ I just wouldn't text him now and see if he contacts u


----------



## lemontree12

i know, proper flirty messages, banter and abit rauncy etc etc then bam!!


----------



## moomin_troll

Don't waste ur time :/ he sounds like my date 1! So keen and then nothing


----------



## ~RedLily~

Yeah I wouldn't waste my time with him either.

I went out last night, met a guy I really liked and just the two of us were chatting, my friend dragged me away because my other friend was upset :dohh:


----------



## fairydust87

~RedLily~ said:


> Yeah I wouldn't waste my time with him either.
> 
> I went out last night, met a guy I really liked and just the two of us were chatting, my friend dragged me away because my other friend was upset :dohh:

Ahh I hate that. Lemon dont contact him hes seems to be playing games x


----------



## moomin_troll

I'd of quietly told my mate to piss off! How rude :/


----------



## ~RedLily~

I don't think she even realised I was talking to him tbh just grabbed me to go see my other friend. So I didn't get my new year kiss in the end lol.


----------



## lemontree12

yip not a text all day so assuming it was true.
to be honest i kind of thought it before, he was quite on both dates. although it pisses me right off that we go it on ;) and bam just fucks me off. can my opinion on men actually get any worse.


----------



## moomin_troll

Men are unbelievable sometimes! 
Just put it down to a bad choice and move on. No point in regrets or what ifs in this life.

God I am now so nervous for my date with the window cleaner tomorrow. Weird I've "known" him for a year lol 
We've been texting none stop and he seems like a really nice lad. 
Altho RAF lad has made his feelings clear that he's be so jealous if he was to find out I'd kissed someone else ect.....he's not asked so in not telling lol


----------



## lemontree12

although, you dont want a relationship with raf bloke because of his job. it sounds like the window cleaner has come right at the right time :)

dating is in the bin for me, i dont have enough me time and its unfair on my baby. x


----------



## Dezireey

I got chatted up by a 60 year old man in an Indiana Jones fancy dress suit last night, does that count? LOL. That's about as much action as I'm getting at the moment and probably for ages. Going to University in September as a 'mature' student, maybe I will meet some amazing new guy then..........um, yeah when pigs fly.


----------



## ZombieQueen

So, I'm a bit torn right now ladies. My best friend has a friend who dated this guy for like 3-4 years, they split up a few months ago and he just randomly started talking to me and has asked me to hang out.. I said yes, but I feel like I'm stepping on toes here. Should I not see him since he is an ex of my friends good friend? I don't want trouble, but he's pretty cute..


----------



## omfgski

...


----------



## lemontree12

personally i wouldnt worry about the girl your not friends with her. but i would speak to your friends, as she will be the one thats in the middle hearing both side.

wow dezireey what you going to be studing?

men are a no go in my books now, at least until lo is older, he sleeping habits are bad at the moment, shes still awake at 10.50pm, and has started to wake up during the night, its alot for a bloke to understand.
but im still going to be involved in this thread, love hearing the delimas :) and im sure il have my own again soon :)


----------



## Dezireey

lemontree12 said:


> personally i wouldnt worry about the girl your not friends with her. but i would speak to your friends, as she will be the one thats in the middle hearing both side.
> 
> wow dezireey what you going to be studing?
> 
> men are a no go in my books now, at least until lo is older, he sleeping habits are bad at the moment, shes still awake at 10.50pm, and has started to wake up during the night, its alot for a bloke to understand.
> but im still going to be involved in this thread, love hearing the delimas :) and im sure il have my own again soon :)

I'm finally going to be a teacher  had most of the qualifications (QTS etc) for a few years and been teaching 16-19 year old school leavers in my last job so getting things sorted to move on to teaching. It is good pay and of course, LO's holidays, when he is a baby will coincide with mine.


----------



## ZombieQueen

I've spoken to her less than a handful of times, like in passing.. I'm a bit nervous about it, I may mention it to our mutual friend and see what she thinks before I see him..


----------



## omfgski

...


----------



## Jennifurball

ZombieQueen said:


> So, I'm a bit torn right now ladies. My best friend has a friend who dated this guy for like 3-4 years, they split up a few months ago and he just randomly started talking to me and has asked me to hang out.. I said yes, but I feel like I'm stepping on toes here. Should I not see him since he is an ex of my friends good friend? I don't want trouble, but he's pretty cute..


Friend of a friend not a problem, if it was your best friend then no, just enjoy talking and see where it goes. :)

I have just got talking to a nice man on a dating site, my ex has recently been messing my head up, making me want to get back together then going cold so I am going for it chatting with this guy, he is nice looking and from my city! :happydance:


----------



## lemontree12

thats fantastic, and you will get he holidays like you said.really something to look forward to :)


----------



## moomin_troll

I can't believe him
Lemontree :/ but u do what feels right. It's difficult dating with toddlers, so can't imagine how u felt seen as ur lo is still little.

Well meeting window man this afternoon for a lunch time date :/ I had no idea what to wear for that lol but my mate told me I had to buy this new dress I saw, so hoping I look nice and not too dressy.
God the nerves are horrible!


----------



## lemontree12

yea i know, but a lesson learnt.

eeek how exciting, keep us updated :)


----------



## Shezza84uk

Enjoy your date! Lemon tree don't you worry the right man is out there! Sometimes you meet someone when you least expect it hopefully we both will lol x


----------



## moomin_troll

Date went really well. Meal was gorgeous and so is he hahaha 
Went for a drink after and had quiet afew cheeky kisses :D lol 
I was supposed to meet RAF lad tomorrow but I've canceled and I'm meeting window man again, goin for something to eat and the cinema
Then it's RAF lad on Friday lol


----------



## lemontree12

wow get you :) 
so glad it went well, iv been popping on here everyday waiting for an update :)


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> wow get you :)
> so glad it went well, iv been popping on here everyday waiting for an update :)

I will be keeping u all posted on how tomorrow goes :) I'm so excited!


----------



## moomin_troll

Eeeek so excited for tonight, even tho it's only a Pizza Hut and cinema lol 
I felt awful cancelling on RAF lad for tonight but is rather see where things go with a lad who isn't going anywhere and I wouldn't ever want anything more then just dating with RAF lad.

When I got back yesterday evening my mum made a comment that really annoyed me. She said I should of been doing all this dating and wanting to go out before I had kids....because now I have kids and I can't. Coming from the 50 yr old who's out every weekend and the same woman who'd leave me to raise her youngest while she was always out.
It really annoys me that she knows what it's like to be a single mum and she knows what a horrible 2 yes ive had and I have to beg for a break.
She had zero problem taking my money to buy a laptop, so maybe ile be asking for that money back


----------



## Shezza84uk

Ooooo how fantastic it would make a change having someone who isn't on the go all the time! As for your mum I can't believe her in fact how insensitive as you have said she still goes out you raised your sibbling and most important fact of all you didn't chose to be a single parent considering the circumstances! How does she work that out? You need to start again, you are still very young and lost your husband how where you suppose to predict what would happen.. what exactly is she talking about? Ugh


----------



## moomin_troll

She's always been a terrible mother to me. I appreciated how hard it must of been raisin us alone with no help, and now I no how that feels, it's horrible sometimes. Just ashame she won't give up the odd booze filled night for me to have fun.

I could of easily given in to the many break downs I've had and the times I've just wanted to die because its hurt so bad. But no I didn't! I locked myself away with my babies for 2 yrs and now she has the nerve to say that to me.

Is still happily die right now to be with Thomas but I'm just trying to be happy again


----------



## Shezza84uk

I can only imagine how horrible it must be :( I'm sorry she's not being supportive keep going on your date! you have mourned and will continue to mourn your husband it never goes away but that dosnt mean you should be alone forever. 

You deserve to be happy, keep having fun never mind your mother xx


----------



## lemontree12

moomin_troll said:


> When I got back yesterday evening my mum made a comment that really annoyed me. She said I should of been doing all this dating and wanting to go out before I had kids....

i havent read the rest of todays comments, so no doubt il be commenting again, but just read this and thought omg....
first of you where happily married and things happen that we cant control, as is my ex leaving me. does this mean because we have children therefore we cant ever be happy. its like what we talked about before, some people hae kids and thats all they need where others also want a life. i do no agree with this at all, and tbh your youngest is 2years old, you have give yourself time and i think 2years is plenty of time. why shouldnt you take control of your life your only 24. sorry for the rant, but i feel some people say this about me, even though i barely go out. a 'friendish' has made comments about me never going out before lo so it shouldnt bother me now.


----------



## moomin_troll

Thanks ladies :) 
It feel weird but I'm actually starting to feel really happy again. 
Second date just finished and wow. I really like him and from what he's sayin he really likes me too!
I think this might turn into something more then dating pretty soon


----------



## ~RedLily~

Aww that's really great :) 
Sorry about what your mum said.

I'm really hoping I meet someone before Valentines day. I have never actually had a boyfriend over v day :blush: lol.


----------



## moomin_troll

A bf on v day is overrated lol they rarely do anything nice! 

I really don't want to see RAF lad tomorrow, I just want to be with j (the window cleaner)
I'm just guna have to go cuz I don't wana let my mate down and tell RAF lad that I'm just not feeling it and that's it


----------



## lemontree12

wow im so excited. i know you dont want to let your friend down but mayb i wouldnt go to see raf lad, just incase you like him also and make yourself confused. couldnt you and your friend go out somewhere, or was she meeting his friend?
x


----------



## Shezza84uk

ooo shounds very promising!! agree with lemon tree maybe its best just to tell RAF guy and save the confusion? eee your officially dating! XX


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah my mates meetin his mate :/ and we are staying in a hotel and that's been paid for (going to another city) I couldn't like RAF lad more then j so I won't get confused, just feel like a bitch. 
And yes I am officially dating!!!!
Date 3 is booked for Monday day, he's coming round mine to watch a DVD. I'm making him wait to dtd lol 
So no naughty business will be taking place


----------



## lemontree12

love it :) will your boys be there? 
my brother sends me a picture of his friend lastnight, apparently he likes me and wants to take me out for a drink, and hes really hot.

but i have a really hot rule, after fob i will never date someone who is overly hot, sounds strange but i believe id always be worried of him cheating like fob, and not that i want to let myself go, but iv had a baby, my body isnt the hottest, or the nicest so i want to feel comfortable with someone and not worry that a hot girl with a hot body is coming onto my man. weird theory i know but im sticking to it lol plus i go to mush infront of hot people.
also like i said after my last date, its too much dating with a young baby, i felt so guilty last week..


----------



## moomin_troll

No monday is a day the boys are both at nursery. and because zane keeps gettin out of bed we agreed we wouldnt ve risking him coming at night.
hes the boss of the window cleaning company so can make his own hours which is nice.

My husband was really hot, always had girls all over him and he never cheated. A drink won't hurt to go on :)
I've been out 3 days in the trot lol can't get much worse then me hahaha
I hate my body, I've had 2 babies lol so that's where sexy underwear comes in! 
I've got a couple of slips from newlook. Omg they are gorgeous and cover all that needs covered. I'm plannin on keeping that firmly on at all times hahahaha


----------



## lemontree12

you are skinny girl, you look fantastic :)
he hasnt seen me, which i first of find weird that hes asking for my number, and then plus im not that skinny girl i used to be, cant deal with meeting someone and their disappointment, which is what i think happened with date bloke.

x


----------



## moomin_troll

Ur stunning! 
I may be skinny but that makes the extra skin and south facin boobs worse haha I went from a E cup to a A/B after Corey so that's thrown my self confidence right out the window.

The one thing I will say is men very rarely see the faults that we do


----------



## lemontree12

how did it go? been waiting all day for an update :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Well last nights date I should of followed my gut and canceled.
The lad my mate was on a date with had a face on, so that ruined the night. RAF lad was really funny and we had a laugh.
End of the night he starts talking about relationship so I knew I had to break it off then n there. He was so sweet about it, we ended up kissing and things got heated lol but nothing happened.
I had J textin me that night an he was on my mind. He wanted to see me so much he picked me n my mate up from the train station n took us both home. Me and my mate are planning a curry tonight and he's gate crashing because he wants to see me.

Long story short hes also told me he really wants me (as in relationship materal) and doesn't want to rush into sex.

Fine with me lol altho I don't wana wait too long. Nothing worse then being nervous


----------



## lemontree12

omg.... you are actually dating :) i love it

its prob best you didnt cancel because you could of had those what if feelings, now you know that theres nothing in it and your mate knows the other is a knob :)

is J on facebook? i need to noisy at a picture?


----------



## moomin_troll

Haha no he's not on my Facebook and I think he deleted his account. 
I was sending him loads of random pics n he was sending me ones back. He's so dam cute! 
He's on twitter if uve got that? He's got an app showing those who've looked in his profile the git haha


----------



## lemontree12

yea iv twitter. 
so you seeing him tonight?


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah he's comin mine, my mates here too tho lol
@perkynipz is his page lol I hate his profile pic! Looks nothin like him


----------



## lemontree12

hes fit and you both look like you suit if you know what i mean. 
how exciting :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Wow!
He came round and him and my mate seemed to get on.
She left at around 11.30 and he stayed. 
Sat on the chair talking, hugging and kissing. It kept getting really hot if u no what I mean but he'd back off.
Around 1.30 I was ready to drag him upstairs but then he said are u sure this isn't too soon, are u ready? So I said well I was until u said that lol

He said that if any girl comes near him hes going to walk away because hes mine.
He's also got a photo of me as his screen saver and he said "I could happily call u my girlfriend" 
I skipped over that part because I don't want "labels" right now. 
Seeing him again tomorrow night an then Monday day.

Excited!


----------



## Shezza84uk

You go girl! Lol at least he's being a gentleman and don't sorry about the title you already have it lol x


----------



## fairydust87

' Shes perfect. Happy is an understatement'

Awww :) x


----------



## moomin_troll

fairydust87 said:


> ' Shes perfect. Happy is an understatement'
> 
> Awww :) x

Hahaha u just saw that myself :D

He text me saying abit part of why he didn't stay over so soon was because its not fair on my boys to see him here. They are my number 1 not him.
Now that was a cute thing to say lol 
Altho I've got a photo frame n in it is a pic of my and my husband. I thought I had taken it down as my plan is to put pics in a album I stead. It threw him abit seeing it, bless him


----------



## lemontree12

wow get you :)
how amazing, :) and what a lovely bloke to be thinking of your boys :)
how old is he?


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> wow get you :)
> how amazing, :) and what a lovely bloke to be thinking of your boys :)
> how old is he?

He's only 22. 
He wasnt sure about coming round last night because Zane keeps gettin up in the night recently and he didn't want Zane to get annoyed lol but luckily he stayed in bed. 

He's still texting me now. I'm starting to really like him and he seems smitten. My mate kept laughin at how he was lookin at me last night.

Eekk this is scary lol


----------



## lemontree12

it is exciting but comes at the right time :) iv just ordered myself an exercise bike to myself my ass into gear to loose weight :)


----------



## moomin_troll

I've got a cross trainer but hardly use it:/ really need to get my ass into gear lol


----------



## fairydust87

I'm jumping on the ww bandwagon. Gonna be a yummy mummy soon :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Well ladies he came round last night. And he spent the night. 
He wants to start seeing each other rather then dating.
He wanted to pose for silly pics last night so I did n he's made it his profile pic on twitter!! I'm not wearing any make up lol not impressed


----------



## lemontree12

thats so sweet. how do you feel?


----------



## moomin_troll

Having sex again wasnt as scary as I thought it would be at all.
He got abit freaked out worrying the boys would hear it wake up and he left before they got up. 
We've spent most of the day together. As he was bringing me home my mm came with Corey. So he came in and had dinner with us (zanes at my mums so hasn't met him officially yet..even tho he's met both the boys before while working)
Corey wanted him to pick him up so he did and I froze. Other then my bil, brother and step dad I've never seen another man hold Corey and it freaked me out. Got me thinking of Thomas. 
He was really good with him.
J is really keen and seems to want an actual relationship, but I said lets just see what happens.

I really like him but I've only just got myself out there so duno if I should jump in and just go for it.


----------



## lemontree12

omg!! have i missed something??? i didnt realise you went the whole hog, ;) ;) ;)
you go girl ;)
for me it felt weird, i guess sex with my ex wasnt how it should be, it was planned, happened 1 mayb 2 a year, and that would be after months of me nagging, so to speak... another lovely thing he left me with.

i know what you mean about him holding your little boy, i would feel weird a bloke holding her, but then from the same respect i would love for her to have male role model.

i think you should go with, dont over think it, if your out and end up kissing someone else, then that yourself mayb saying your not into him as much as you thought. i think your wise not to label anything, it takes me months before a label comes out. again im weird i no, i could be different in my older age :)


----------



## moomin_troll

yes ladies I had SEX!!! Hahaha


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> omg!! have i missed something??? i didnt realise you went the whole hog, ;) ;) ;)
> you go girl ;)
> for me it felt weird, i guess sex with my ex wasnt how it should be, it was planned, happened 1 mayb 2 a year, and that would be after months of me nagging, so to speak... another lovely thing he left me with.
> 
> i know what you mean about him holding your little boy, i would feel weird a bloke holding her, but then from the same respect i would love for her to have male role model.
> 
> i think you should go with, dont over think it, if your out and end up kissing someone else, then that yourself mayb saying your not into him as much as you thought. i think your wise not to label anything, it takes me months before a label comes out. again im weird i no, i could be different in my older age :)

God I hate ur ex the more I hear about him :/


----------



## lemontree12

haha im so proud :) :) :)
equally as much as i was of myself :)


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> haha im so proud :) :) :)
> equally as much as i was of myself :)

It's a huge step! If we can be strong mums we can do anything!


----------



## lemontree12

this statement i agree with. literally nothing could phase me now. i could consider myself heartless lol :laugh: apart from when it comes to y girlie, my heart melts a hundred times a day :)


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> this statement i agree with. literally nothing could phase me now. i could consider myself heartless lol :laugh: apart from when it comes to y girlie, my heart melts a hundred times a day :)

I totally agree with what uve said too x


----------



## Shezza84uk

Ooooo get you! He seems like a gentleman follow your gut instincts maybe you won't actually look any further x


----------



## moomin_troll

He is such a nice guy. Altho I can tell he's not used to liking someone more then they like him. 
Think he tried to make me jealous last night lol 
it started because he told me if he was chatted up hed be tellin them to get lost and ny responce was "do what u want, im not ur keeper" and his face dropped bless him.

his phones always going off an the other day a girl text him just saying hey u, which he ignored at the time.
He wasnt round mine last night but he text me saying that he had text this girl saying he was seeing someone so to leave him alone and she called him crying. And then he said the same to another girl n her response was nah don't stop talking to me just cuz her...she's a lucky bitch. 

Made me laugh, I don't have time for silly girls giving me grief or him trying to make me jealous haha


----------



## lemontree12

goodness just read that and thought you where talking about a 13year old. i couldnt be doing with that either. i hate games beyond belief. especially when you have kids, you seem to mature alot. x


----------



## moomin_troll

We've spent the day together again and Corey was with us. It was really weird but nice.

Last night he said I can't wait to call u my girlfriend, but he understands I don't wana rush. 
I'm seeing him again tonight. He can't keep away lol but I think I'm just guna go for it!
If it works then great, if not then oh well.


----------



## lemontree12

yes def go with it, if its works it works. what is it when you decide not to date, you get offers?? although i think im sticking to my ordinal idea of not dating yet. 
this bloke is rather hot hot hot, but im thinking his maturity isnt up to scratch lol


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah uve gota go with what u think is best and if that's no dating then that's what u have to do.
It's so annoying when u don't want something and that's when u get all the attention hahaha
Well j came round n we had a chat and I'm officially his girlfriend......kinda in shock hahaha 
I bet when I go out next weekend ile have some right hotties after me now


----------



## lemontree12

omg youve offically got a boyfriend :)
this thread has only been open a monthsh, and how much ha changed since the start lol


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah lol I met date 1 on the 1st December and Yeah now I've got a boyfriend. 
It's always good when the lad likes u far more then u like him lol so I don't feel so much pressure. 
He understand that meeting zanes a far bigger deal then Corey so I'm waiting until I no I'm serious about him. Nothin worse then these girls u hear about on Jeremy Kyle that have a new dad every few weeks for their kids lol

We had a chat last night and I made clear they are my kids, they don't need a replacement dad so I don't expect much if anything at all from him in that department.


----------



## Shezza84uk

I've not been on in a few days forgot my password lol

You are officially his gf!! That's amazing hopefully it all goes well from here you are right to pace his involvement with your kids best to take it a day at a time its great you are happy long overdue!!! X


----------



## lemontree12

i totally know what you mean, iv always thought when growing up that you only have one dad. iv spoke to so many people about this, and most didnt agree with me. but for me i dont think i could ever allow my daughter to call someone else dad, my reasons being, first off id need to be in a long long relationship to even allow her to be close to a man, another reason would be if we split up and he left, he has no ties to stay 'dad' to my daughter, so that would be 2 fathers that decided to leave her live, which would be hard for anyone to understand. the only way i could was if she was adopted by someone that i was possibly married to, that way i know hes serious. this is so hard, because chances are she wont have a 'dad' i cant even tell her something lovely about her 'dad' because hes a disgusting idiot.
sorry iv just rambled off again.
but yes, i love someone being more into you than you are them, (one reason for my hot rule) lol. i usually go to mush with someone i really like, im more confident and nature, if i know they are more into me.

you seeing J over the weekend?


----------



## moomin_troll

No not seeing him till Monday now. Saw him today but he's off for a footy weekend which he wanted to cancel but I said I'm not one of those girls that's guna pull u away from doin ur own thing.
Goin shopping Monday with a mate. Decided to throw away all my underwear and buy new. Hate my body so might aswel feel good in what I'm wearing.
I've been trying to hide my stomach but I showed him n he's like uve got stretch marks cuz uve had kids, uve got a sexy body so don't hide from me. Which was really nice but end of the day it doesn't matter what he thinks if I'm not happy within myself


----------



## lemontree12

that is exactly what i done, threw my underwear away, topshop do 3 for 10 and they are rather nice.
you look great, but your right, no matter how many times people tell you that, its how you feel inside that counts.
jesus hes proper smittened, aint he, its rather sweet :)


----------



## moomin_troll

If I tone up ile be really happy with myself. Stomach muscles are shot lol
I spent £30 on topshop pants the other day lol need new bras seen as my boobs have gone even smaller!
I've now officially gone from a E to a A :,( 

I've already had a text off him sayin he misses me.....I don't miss him tho lol


----------



## lemontree12

iv decided to go on a date with that 'hot'bloke! i think the fact he had a little boy swayed me


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> iv decided to go on a date with that 'hot'bloke! i think the fact he had a little boy swayed me

Woooo keep us up to date


----------



## lemontree12

im now being sucked in by mister hotty!! my rule has went out the window!!


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> im now being sucked in by mister hotty!! my rule has went out the window!!

Life's too short to stick to the rules all the time. Ur theory is right lol but we all need a man we fancy the pants off :)


----------



## lemontree12

im sucked in. i told him my rule and the reason for my rule. he wrote the most amazing message back, it actually brought a tear to my eye.

so date boy number 2 is coming up!


----------



## moomin_troll

Woooo
Can't wait for ur date!


----------



## Shezza84uk

Go yummy mummies!! I honestly need to quit being a spinster and try to date although FOB would probably be a thorn in my side, good luck lemontree x


----------



## lemontree12

does fob still have a thing for you?


----------



## Shezza84uk

I think he's up to something I'm still not sure what it is tho :/


----------



## moomin_troll

Don't let fob mess with u :( 
Today I've been having a wobble wondering if I really should of just staying seeing J instead of letting him label it as bf n gf :wacko:


----------



## Shezza84uk

Aww maybe its just going a bit fast for you? Its not going to harm tho because you have technically got to know him and seem comfortable with him however if you feel its going too fast suggest taking things a bit slower, sometimes seizing the moment is better than dragging it out xx


----------



## moomin_troll

I might be seeing him tonight so ile see how I feel. Not seen him in afew days so I might feel differently far to face


----------



## Shezza84uk

Hope it goes well hun x


----------



## lemontree12

oooh no!! i do know for me it takes me so long before i label anything, i was with fob for 5months and it was his friend who referred to me as his gf, i hated it, it made me feel weird but i ignored my feelings. 
you could let him label it but for your own head just treat it like dating and wean yourself slowly in. no1 would blame you for wanting to take things slow. and if it doesnt work, its actually a step youve taken. i always learn something from every bloke along the way.

as if iv just bagged myself another day, problem is they are both on friday and they are both seriously hot
i may need you help to decide :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Go lemon tree haha

Well omfg I'm single hahaha 
He just unleashed a whole f ing bag of crazy on me.

He stayed about an hour n half. He was on my be while I tried on a dress. As he left I made a joke he didn't sleep with me...he pulled a weir face and basically we've had it out over text n he's turned into a f ing nutter!


----------



## lemontree12

omg no way!! you'll be having dirty windows this summer lol...

did you say about the bf thing or has he just went weirdo?


----------



## Shezza84uk

Omg! What's up with these men, I agree with lemontree dirty windows it will be from now on lol


----------



## moomin_troll

Omg! Well after a blazing row over text an phone he turned up at my door 1am
We had a chat and I was fuming about things he had said and he told me the reason he went off on one. 
We ended up dtd :handface: and now he thinks everything is fine and that we didn't break up n it was just a fight.... Yeah a fight after a week of going out isnt normal lol
From his reaction I'm going to break up with him but slowly


----------



## lemontree12

omg cant beliee this. but, he was very serious so quickly, but he knows youve kids and he turns up at 1 oclock...eekkk
did you say he was younger than you?


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah he's 2 yrs younger. He bought something up in the argument that I won't bring up on here cuz I'm fuming, so ile be dragging this out and I will rip his heart out


----------



## Shezza84uk

oh god well at least you get to make the call to end it! this might be his age showing, I agree an argument after only a week is not a healthy start maybe he's used to those sort of dysfunctional type relationships where they argue, have make up sex then all is well and argue some more :shrug:


----------



## moomin_troll

He's not that much of a sexual person for it to be about make up sex :/
He's been extra stressed with his business and I think the fact me being a widow hit him, cuz that was the main part of what he was sayin is effecting him


----------



## Shezza84uk

Yh I meant men sometimes think make up sex is like a new page so the cause for the argument is no longer an issue and all is forgotten until next time. 

Maybe he rushed things without thinking about the level of loss you and your children have experienced obviously something to discuss if you decide to continue dating because maybe its hit him harder than you both anticipated?


----------



## moomin_troll

I just called him and it's over. He says he could handle my situation but I said I don't think he can. He was also concern with the fact I never want anymore kids ect so yeah I broke up with him n he was really nice about it. 
I'm going to miss him because other then last night he's a really nice guy :/ 
Oh well onwards and upwards


----------



## lemontree12

oooh no moomin :( well at least its over before real feelings come into play. he might be too young to understand and appreciate what you have went threw, but that should never be an issue, that is part of you and your kids and has prob made you part of the person you are today. i can understand the wanting different things in regards to wanting kids, its a huge thing in a relationship. im still on the fence regarding more children, part of mle wants to, but i generally dont no if my head will let me. in an ideal world id like to met someone who has also one child and then we mayb have one more. not that ideal things happen, but one can dream.

like i said in a pp you have got some much from that bloke and took a step closer to things. just take it as a learning curve. like that bloke i dated i gained something, i took a step closer to becoming me again, and i also learnt that some men actually only after one thing lol.. at least i got more from it :)

i bet this time next week, 5more blokes will be showing an interest in you and youll be thinking J who :) xxx


----------



## moomin_troll

Thanks ladies :)
Just feel really crappy now and if it wasnt for him saying "how am I supposed to feel hearing Zane shout I want my daddy?" To which I said I couldn't give a f what u think about that
N then "how am I supposed to feel about the picture of him on the wall?" 
I have one pic I forgot to take down and put in his memory box. But I saw red and said he's my husband and I can cover my house in his pics if I want....
So yeah that's why I ended things. Altho when explained I totally understood his point because it must be hard thinking ur living in a dead mans shadow. 
But oh well it's done now!
I've got a girls night out Saturday and j is going to be in the same places :/ fun.....


----------



## Shezza84uk

Aww never mind onwards and upwards indeed! Being in the same place will be awkward but considering you are ok with each other you might be able to be friends x


----------



## moomin_troll

The places are big enough to avoid each other. Ile smile Nd say hello but I don't think we can be mates.


----------



## lemontree12

it just shows that he is still young. but by god i can see why you seen red. a bloke that was mature enough would of understood all this takes time... and really if yous ended up serious would zane and corey never be allowed to speak about their dad infront of him, i think it was very immature of him. but yes onwards and upwards. 

anyway, have you ever heard from raf bloke since that friday?


----------



## moomin_troll

He really went about it all wrong, he said he'd be fine with Zane and Corey talking about their dad when I questioned him. Total head f*ck.
I don't no if I'm missing J or if I'm just realising how lonely I really am. 
I've been through far worse so this is less then nothing.

RAF lad text me the Saturday after the date but nothing since. He was away with work all last week so he wouldn't of been able to text me even if he wanted to. 

Trying to just look forward to my weekend. Getting n hair done Friday and then out Saturday. I no ile see him but that's bound to happen:/


----------



## lemontree12

to be honest, he just seems very immature, and just not enough life experience. his lose really

i felt the same after date bloke number 1, i felt that i missed fob, when actually fucking hate him, just missed having someone around. fill yourself up with lost of texting, always makes me smile :)


----------



## moomin_troll

I am a text aholic.
Well I've just had to text James because his workers didn't clean my conservatory :handface: 
He's not replied yet. I didn't no if I should of called his work number or text! I'm seriously guna have to find a new window cleaners


----------



## lemontree12

To be honest i would. It's going to be so weird. And very unprofessional of him
Not to reply. Did he send someone else round to clean your windows? X


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah he sent others to do the work, but he hasn't done my windows the past couple of months anyway. He's spending more time on paperwork. 
He replied and asked if I wanted him to send them round to redo the conservatory. I said no.
Had a small text chat and he's calling me later. Lets see how that goes :/


----------



## moomin_troll

He ended up texting me asking if he could come round instead of calling. He came round when the boys were still up so we couldn't talk much....
Basically he said that he didn't no what he wanted and wasn't sure if he could be with someone who doesn't want more children. 
He then said he wants us to get to no each other more and just see each other. I said ok.
But then he stayed at mine the whole night n then aske if he could stay over......we didn't dtd. He's then had breakfast this morning and left.
How on earth is that just seeing someone? I bought that up to him n said I see just seeing someone completely different to this. 
He wants to come see me later so think I best set my ground rules


----------



## lemontree12

it could work in your favour. that way theres no labels on things :)
although he did say things id find hard to forget.

how you feeling about things :)

im really looking forward to my date, hes proper hot, and he has a little boy 3week older than my little girl, so i guess he can appreiate being a parent to a young baby

the other bloke im not 100% sure what to think.. hes said he really likes me and wants to look after me and my little girl... for me people who move to quick like that freak me out. so who knows x


----------



## moomin_troll

I don't forget things:/ lol
Well I like him n it's nice having someone around but he likes me far more then I like him.


----------



## lemontree12

just go with it, see where it takes you, at least there isnt that label on things now. when you seeing him next?


----------



## moomin_troll

He's been round for most of the day, but I've said he can't be around the boys like that again until we no how we feel. To which he basically said he knows we will end up together......
He's confusing lol 
But I'm going to make things more casual instead of acting like a couple.. Altho he's coming round tonight for a curry and a film haha but I'm not letting him stay over


----------



## lemontree12

its prob worked out better, now its casual, but god he does sound confusing lol. just wait and see how you feel, you might just slot into a relationship xx


----------



## Shezza84uk

He does sound confused lol casual is good tho means you can take it at your own pace x


----------



## moomin_troll

He's coming around again tonight lol so I'm going to tell him things need to be more casual and he can't always come round. Take things slow and keep sex out of it for abit


----------



## lemontree12

good idea, let us know how it goes :)


----------



## moomin_troll

He was an hour late. Ordered a curry from the wrong place, forgot his money so I had to pay for food I couldn't even look at without wanting the spew. Not impressed


----------



## Shezza84uk

ahh sounds like a typical male thing to do lol xx


----------



## moomin_troll

I was so annoyed! Lol plus I'm now £18 down and don't have any money in to order a decent curry tonight :'(


----------



## lemontree12

he is no longer in charge of the curry lol...
not a best start lol


----------



## moomin_troll

And to top that off before he left this morning he added his parents want to meet me....I've already seen his dad cuz he cleans my windows lol but a proper meeting and they even said bring the boys...
Errm no lol

I've been thinking and realised what's missing, he's not Thomas. Who ever I'm with will always be second best. So I need to work on that feeling


----------



## lemontree12

omg, its like the labels back.. its one suggesting you meeting his parents so quickly but the boys :/

it must be so hard, and thomas is always going to number 1 with anything and you will always think of him. but you also need to be happy. xxx


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah it freaked me out when the boys were mentioned! As if they need to meet my kids after I've been seeing their son for 2 weeks lol 

J's gone all love sick again wanting to see me now or come round tonight. Baring in mind it's none stop snow and he almost crashed driving home :/ I've said he can't be around the boys again until we no if this is going to turn into a relationship or not, I'm thinking it won't tho. 
Things got far too comfortable too quickly for me and while that's good I also want excitement


----------



## Shezza84uk

Aww hun it will be difficult your husband is irreplaceable but lives in your heart through your boys and your memories.

Don't push yourself to accept someone if your not ready, you know eventually you will be but maybe due to the newness of things its just triggered that part of you that needs him, and also allowing someone to be a male figure will be hard take it at your pace its a bit early for meet as greets do whatever you feel is right, hugs xx


----------



## daneuse27

I'm just joining this thread now. Great idea, and kudos to OP who started it and has endured so much as a singe mom :)

Im looking for some opinions. I just started online dating, and every man I start taking to asks if I want to "meet up for a drink." Is that supposed to be his idea of a date? Normally Id just say yes and go, but Im a single mum to a 5 month old.... so Id have to ask my mom to watch her but I only want to do that if I know itll be worth it iykwim? Id rather talk longer to get to know eachother better and then meet up for a dinner... thats just me. does that make sense? Drinks to me sounds like they're hoping they'll get lucky. 

Do you ladies get a lot of 'meet for a drink' offers?' Is that the norm? Maybe im just rusty in dating. lol


----------



## Shezza84uk

Tbh I've signed up to a few recently and every single person wants to "meet up for a drink" I made a few ground rules. Before I meet anyone I must have spoken to them for a while maybe a month or more if I can stretch it out that long, it must be in a public place and I will not be going anywhere else after that not in their car etc..

When they say "meet for a drink" majority of them want to have a one night stand and if you communicate with them for a longer period and keep your wits about you if that is all they want they won't want to wait to meet! Just my opinion and what I've noticed.. in fact I've had a few blatant ones ask if I fancy a drink and a f**k in those exact terms lol


----------



## moomin_troll

Welcome to the group and thanks x
I got afew lets me up for a drink date offers and to me they sounded fine as its more casual but then J asked me out for a really fancy meal and the drink offers didn't sound so good lol
U don't need to settle so go at ur own pace and do what feels right for u. 
But for me personally there's too much build up if u leave meeting too long. But then again I've always met ppl face to face in bars so I no it's totally different.

Well I'm out tonight for ladies night and I no j is out for his mates 21st so lets see if he can say away lol


----------



## lemontree12

i meet up for drinks with my friends brother lastnight, it was the first date, it was so much fun, everywhere was dead because of the snow but we hd proper chats while having a few drinks. just go with how you feel what they want :)

welcome to the group x


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> i meet up for drinks with my friends brother lastnight, it was the first date, it was so much fun, everywhere was dead because of the snow but we hd proper chats while having a few drinks. just go with how you feel what they want :)
> 
> welcome to the group x

Wooo more info on the date please hahaha


----------



## daneuse27

Thanks for the tips! I agree with lemontree, you have to judge by the situation.

Yesterday, I exchanged photos with a guy I recently started talking to. We'd been texting for about 2 days. I found the prettiest ones of me and sent them, and then in return he sent me more of him. (He looked ok in his profile photo, but that was the only photo I saw.) Once I saw the photos he emailed, I was disgusted. :dohh: Not to be mean, but he looks horrible! Just awful, creepy, very dodgy and no one I'd want to trust my child with! I no longer had any interest in talking to him. lol. Of course after seeing my photos, he texted saying that I had "very kissable lips" and am "hot and sexy" and I wanted to puke. I didnt answer and hope he doesnt text again!

So from now on I'll have a bit more of a screening process before sharing more photos. :blush: 

Hope your date went well lemontree!


----------



## moomin_troll

Online dating scares the hell out of me lol that being one of the reasons. U can really click with someone over the phone/txt and then to be so disappointed :( 

One by one my mates are dropping out of this night out! It's a stupid idea going lol but I need out of this house :) bad mummy moment


----------



## lemontree12

it went really well, hes so nice, we went out for drinks and chatted loads. i met one of his friends, who said, 'i hope shes your missus' he did come back to mine :/ reason being he couldnt get home with the snow he lives abit away. so me being drunk said oh just come to mine, i live walking distance from town. i thought hes friends with my brother, my brothers at mine, its not too bad. we snuggled all night it really felt normal.

he left early because he had to pick up his son at 8, so my baby wasnt awake which was a blessing.

we have texted all day, and arranged a 2nd date lunch during the week, which i have said my daughter, hes going to have his son also, so kind of like a play date so to speak.

when i was tipsy i told him about me having that other date planned. anyway he said something about having competition today, which i said that i wasnt going to see him, he said that he likes the thought that im just his.

hes really nice so we will see what happens. look what happens when i sad i was not going to be going on a date with anyone, as i didnt have time for anyone. i guess for me it is too things come when your not looking for it :)

Daneuse: Just treat it like a learning curve. plus i find it a great confidence boost :)


----------



## lemontree12

sorry just read all that back, it doesnt make sense lol, im a hungover mess lol


----------



## moomin_troll

All my mates canceled going out tonight and then when J said he'd take me out my mum refused to babysit :/ 

He ended up coming round sayin he'd come see me or abit. The boys were up, so the fact I said he shouldn't be round the boys if he doesn't no what he wants, he turned around and said well I am practically ur boyfriend and then carried on playing with Corey. 
He wants to see me again tomorrow night. This has so turned into a relationship again. I'm so comfortable around him which is great but then also a problem because there's no real nerves or excitement


----------



## Shezza84uk

Made perfect sense to me lol play date should be fun and I guess you can see how he is with his son ppl tend to relax when they have their kids around x


----------



## moomin_troll

J came round again last night, only for an hour because he just wanted to see me.
Before he came round I text my mate saying he was n that I need to have another ur acting like my bf chat. 
Well her reply was bitching about him saying he really needs to sort himself out n this isn't what ppl who are seeing each other does ect......
Well I've got an iPhone so when the text comes most of it is shown and he saw it and actually read it!

Still didn't spur him on to sort this out tho lol
I did tell him we should start going out more instead of him coming here, so he will have to wait till I get a babysitter for him to see me next.

How's everyone else getting on?


----------



## lemontree12

i def think thats a good idea regarding going out more. me and fob used to do doing at all, he would of used me to take him to work and that was literally the only outing we had. i hated him for it, i hated being stuck at home, so going out is def a huge thing for me in my next relationship. cant believe he didnt say anything about your mate, does he still live with his parents?

errrm yeah i dont no, i guess iv got alot in my head regarding fob cheating and lying etc, that iv always got that 'your lying to me' head on. All little things, but the little things matter to me. ok so he was messaging me on facebook because my chargers broke and my phone was off. So i could see his was online, via the computer, (you can tell because it either has a mob or green light, and also it said all his messages where being sent from chat) anyway so i just asked was he home, he said no he was driving, which to me he was lying, because first off it says his computer was online chatting to me, second off, the roads would of been so slippy theres no way you could take your eyes of the road and message on facebook. i put this to him in a way 'What your messaging me, while driving in the snow, aint the roads slippy' he just said yea, its fine.

i guess because how deciteful fob was, everything that came from his mouth was a lie, pointless lies and huge big disgusting lies, i always have in my head someone is lying to me. i was never like this before fob.

whats sticking out in my head, 'is he leading a double life'?


----------



## Shezza84uk

hmmm this is a tough one because we try not to judge our other partners based on our past however maybe he was lying because FB has that thing that lets you know where it was being sent from although yesterday my little sister was sending messages to me on FB from her mobile and it came up green to say she was online in the chat box :/ unless he downloaded the new FB messenger? i'm not sure what it looks like when sent tho. I dont know what to suggest as its difficult thing to call and then at the same time you try to see this as a different person with different motives. 

moomin-troll, I Think its a great idea going out, its a new relationship/dating situation so you should try to have some fun outside your home and see how it works out, also being out will prevent your boys from getting attached to him. I agree with your mate he needs to sort himself out and decide if he can handle being with you, accepting your boys will miss their dad accept that you will grieve you husband because your memories will not just go away and be able to support you through the ups and downs and remain respectful to his memory xxx


----------



## moomin_troll

When uve been cheated on its so hard to not think it will happen again. An ex cheated on me...disgusting thing he was lol an he was ugly! So not all ugly men stay faithful lol

All J said about my mate message was that see my ears are burning, it's cute ur talking about me....I said no I'm not I told my mate u were coming over and that was her response. 

I was going to ask him on a date tomo night but I've come down with a cold so doubt he's guna wanna catch that :/ damn cold, feel rubbish.

We agreed over text we should just stick to going out and seeing each other. Even tho he was like ile hardly ever see u and I just smiled.

I could easily just see him or maybe start a relationship again. It's him who needs to make his mind up. This is just wasting my time if he's acting like he wants me but then chickens out


----------



## lemontree12

Just had a lovely phonecall from CSA Not... fob has now put a new claim in and has now got away wth paying £12pw less.... when i look at my daughter i think, how she could come from such a horrible piece of work, also after everything he has done, youd think 12pw he would pay as a way of doing his part. HE IS SUCH A FUCKING SCUMBAG!!!!

anyway yea, mayb im just be over dramatic. hes a dj and has said he wants to take me away on when hes working. i guess i will always be on edge and never trust someone 100% after fob. its sad but i know i wont. he cheated the 4yrs of our relationship.


----------



## moomin_troll

Can't believe he's been let off £12! Wtf how the hell do these ppl and him think u feed and clothe ur baby. 
Drives me insane!

I'd say sit back and enjoy dating this guy, but I no that's not easy. I mean look at me hahaha I over think everything. 
It's nice he wants to take u with him :) 
Js very protective over his phone, I don't wana look at it anyway but that made me wonder. He's on Facebook and twitter but not added me to either. 
Again harmless things but make me think hang on! 
So yeah I understand why these things are getting to u :hugs:


----------



## lemontree12

he used to pay 52pw and hes rang to say his wages have changed so hes paying 40pw now. youd think he would pay that extra 12 as a way of owning up to his responiblities... i hate him so much. he is disgusting and i know i cant live my life like this, but i generally wish harm on him... 

yea will this bloke has TWO facebook accounts, im on one, but i dont think the one im on is actually the main one. his ex gf still has a photo of them on her profile, which was uploaded dec. more things that make me think, hold on a moment....

then the other bloke is so nice, but i feel hes too nice, if you know what i mean, i dont no... main reason why i dont want to date, i just want mister wonderful to turn up and swip me off my feet :)

goodness so glad for this thread, i havent spoke to my friends about these, im so private in regards to dating etc so will only tell them if it becomes serious


----------



## moomin_troll

Don't judge man 1 on the fact an ex has uploaded a picture of them recently. Some women are just crazy lol
I generally say go with ur gut about things like this.
If it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck...then it's a duck lol

I no what u mean about too nice but try not to see that as a bad thing. 
If u don't feel ready to date then take time out and get to no urself again. 
After having each child I found I changed so I really needed time to figure out who I was again. Maybe that's something u need to do. 
Instead of dating go out more with friends, have girly nights out and maybe a cheeky kiss hahaha

Yeah J lives with his parents, he could afford his own place but he can't be bothered lol


----------



## lemontree12

hes just messaged me asking what im wanting. i have said that im not actively looking for a relationship, which is true, but if i fell into one it wouldnt bother me. he said he is the same. i guess i need to take my own advice and just go with things and see what happens.

has J offered to come around tonight?


----------



## moomin_troll

At least he seems upfront, men never normally ask that question. 

Js been really busy with work today so hardly spoke to him. He called at 8.30 n said should he come round and cheer me up seen as I'm not feeling well....a moment of weakness I said yes lol but then I get a text 10 mins later sayin he can't come round after all something came up.
Ile ask him tomo if he does fancy going out and see if my mum will actually babysit. 

Dating is such hard work :/


----------



## lemontree12

it really is hardwork when kids are involved. 
i dont think theres anything wrong with him coming round, as long as you plans things also.
think we both need to go with the flow lol :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah when he comes round we have a take away and watch a film. Laid back, but nah I'm not guna have him over for awhile now.
We were just texting n I bought up going out tomo n he's not replied but could retweet something on twitter. Gets on my nerves when ppl do that lol 
I'm in need of a girly night out to see how I actually feel about J. Just want to see what my first reaction would be to being chatted up. 

Dating in general just seems to suck lol but yeah having babies really doesn't make it any easier


----------



## lemontree12

why dont he want to go out?? weird... but yes one of my pet hates is ignoring text but updates facebook status.

a girlie night and bein chatted will certainly allow you to know your feelngs. but it does usually take me ages to know my feelings. like im tossing my feelings better those two blokes. the really nice one was up talkng to me at 3am when i was feeling hopeless about los sleep and he had to get up at 5am. the other bloke i think is hiding something.


----------



## moomin_troll

Aww that's so sweet he was up talking with u :) 

I don't really have any feelings for J other then I no I like him. But if I was to meet someone on a night out n they got my attention then I'd no I don't want a relationship with J.
He says he does want to go out tonight but works crazy so he's going to let me know later.

After being with Thomas a week I knew I'd marry him and after 2 weeks I was head over heels in love. Sometimes u just know its meant to be


----------



## lemontree12

wow i guess you do know, iv never been like that before, so mayb i need to listen to my gut reaction. i gutt readtion screamed at me not to be with fob.. honestly it screamed at me, i knew he was selfish from the word go. i ignored it because i fancied him. also when i went out drinking with him id get upset and never want him anywhere near me, no reason just didnt. mayb i knew deep down want he was going to do. i do believe in gutt reaction.


----------



## moomin_troll

Ppl thought I was crazy getting with Thomas so fast....he was supposed to be a one night stand hahaha
I just instantly knew I was going to be with him.

With J I don't have a gut feeling, so guess I've just gota go with it. 
I still don't no if we are going out tonight or not so that's annoying.

U should always go with ur gut feelings tho


----------



## moomin_troll

James ended up coming round late last night. He said soon as he saw me he knew he was in trouble, and its so f*cked up because he's fallen for me! I don't even remember my reaction lol


----------



## lemontree12

trouble? did you end it?

M has just messaged me to say that hes working in ibiza if i wanted to join him, but its on my los birthday and theres no way id leave her x


----------



## moomin_troll

Trouble as in he knew he'd fall for me and he has lol 
No I haven't ended it, just shocked to here his feelings lol
I'm still not guna let him call me his gf tho lol

Oh wow Ibiza! But yeah u can't leave ur baby on her bday, that's far more important. But wow about him inviting u


----------



## lemontree12

you can tell from what you wrote hes fallen for you, he seems like a sweet boy.

i know i was thinking wow!! he did say the other day he wanted to show me the perks of his job, but i have lo to think of and as we all know, i dont have fob to look after lofor weekends to nip of


----------



## lemontree12

and when i did tell him i couldnt go. he said that he understand she comes first


----------



## moomin_troll

I hope he does understand :) but an amazing trip to be asked to go on. 
J wants to take me away for a long weekend because I need a break. But I've gota rely on my mum to have the boys and she won't till the end of next month. But my bday is 1st of march, so it might turn into a bday trip away lol

J is a really nice lad, I like him but no where near as much as he likes me. Which is good lol but I can't imagine getting serious with him. But time will tell.

My sister dropped a bomb on me tho. Leaving my mums we shared a taxi. She said her bf didn't want to meet J or have anything to do with him. I knew it would be hard on him me movin on because him and Thomas became such good mates aswel as brother in laws.
But then to my shock my own sister says she doesn't want to meet him either and that she won't like him as much as she liked Tom! 
I started to cry instantly! I said I don't like him as much as Thomas either! I'm the one who has to live with the fact ile always be with second best compared to him.

I can't believe she dropped that on me


----------



## lemontree12

sorry i started to write back lastnight and had to sort lo out.

i cant believe they have put this pressure on you, its not like you can change the situation and surely they would want you to be happy. you are so young and cant spend your life alone. i can understand them mayb never liking J as much as Thomas, but to not even want to meet him. personally i think they should be proud of you for making a step forward to happiness. if they arent proud i am :hugs:

dont let anyone put doubts in your head, you deserve happiness as much as anyone, if not more xxx


----------



## moomin_troll

Thanks :)
Spoke to my mum today and she's not happy about what my sister said. I've told them both I would only see j on dates if they would actually babysit so I could go out! I got a empty promise off my sister sayin yeah ile babysit long as ur not back late ie past 11! 
My stepdad was on about a family meal out so they could all meet J. My mum said let her meet his parents first.....yeah I'm not doing that anytime soon thanks lol

I don't care if they aren't ready but I am so stuff them!
Duno when I'm next seeing J. He's really busy with paperwork and accounts.
I thought I'd look at our old texts and they made me smile and reminded me of why I started to like him in the first place. 
Yeah I no I shouldn't be getting into a full on relationship but its reminded me of I do want to be happy and he makes me smile so f them!

My life's hard enough without thinking about their feelings. They should love me more then that and want to see me happy


----------



## lemontree12

personally what they said is very selfish, and im sure if the shoe was on the other foot youd be happy for them, and wouldnt expect them to be alone forever. i can totally understand if he didnt want to be best mates with him, but to not want to meet him.

xx


----------



## moomin_troll

If they want to be that selfish then they don't need to be apart of my life and they can't then pass comment on what I decide to do.
J has met both boys, not for long but both instantly liked him. I told zane he was my friend. And I got moaned at for that. It wasn't a planned meeting but its not like I've said oh here's my bf, he's moving in lol
My life's been on hold for 2 yrs so now it's my time!


----------



## lemontree12

omg your a single mum, it cant be helped at all. that bloke stayed at mine, although didnt meet my daughter she didnt wake up. it cant be helped. even if you would only see him when you had a sitter.if your like me, it would be pushed to find a sitter once a week. well that was before my brother but still. once a week is nothing when your starting to date someone.

ignore people with negative attitude, personally i wouldnt even tell people things. other than my brother, i have only shared that i went on a date you you. i think people would judge, me going on dates, etc so im saying nothing until its serious enough. thats if it makes it that far. something stands out in my head that hes lying about things. so who knows.


----------



## moomin_troll

My whole family live close by and I wouldn't even be able to get a babysitter once a week :/ 
I've not seen J since yesterday morning and it pains me to say tonight i actually miss him :wacko: 
I knew I liked him but didn't think much of it and its just hit me tonight! I need a slap haha


----------



## lemontree12

you dont need a slap im glad you finally do, he sounds like he really cares for you :) xx


----------



## moomin_troll

I think the fact he told me he's fallen for me says he wants to be with me and thinks he can handle my life, but until he tells me that I don't wana get close to him. So I do need a slap lol


----------



## moomin_troll

Gone quiet in here lately! How is everyone?
I haven't seen James since he told me he's fallen for me Tuesday night :/ 
And he's hardly text me. So I'm not waiting around if he's playing silly games.
My mum will have the boys at mine for a whole weekend so I can go away. I asked James if he wanted to do something seen as he told me he wanted to take me away and he was like yeah I might :/
I'm going out tonight YAY need to let my hair down


----------



## lemontree12

no way!!! as if hes gone quiet. thats weird, he cant go from one extreme to the other jezz...

well thursday night, mister L said how he was smittened by me, hes been quiet though the last few days, although he has been away. i was out lastnight and he messaged me while he was working, but at that stage i had gone bed, i wrote back at like 4ish when i woke up. so the messages i got this mornning where one word anwers. for example, i wrote 'god im so tired today xxx' he wrote 'unlucky' so the messages where similar so in the end, i wrote one back saying your so bloody moody today. for me i cant be assed with mind games etc. 

who knows


----------



## Shezza84uk

Men are hard work arnt they? Hope you had fun lemontree and enjoy yourself tonight moomin_troll..

I'm having a shit time with FOB because he's pissed that I won't send DD on vacation for 2 weeks with him he claims her being away in the sun will "cure" her autism. Not just that she uses signs and he never understands anything she says or signs! Would you send your 5yr away? X


----------



## lemontree12

never!! espcially as hes only just been in the same country 5mins. 100% NO thats me. im not sure the level of your daughters austim. but children iv worked with, with austim, need a regular routine, and understand whats happening. for fob to take her to a different country without her mum and unfamilar surroundings isnt routine. also if he used the the term, the sun will cure her austim, suggests he has no idea.
its your decision but for me i think your making the right decision saying no :hugs:


----------



## Shezza84uk

lemontree12 said:


> never!! espcially as hes only just been in the same country 5mins. 100% NO thats me. im not sure the level of your daughters austim. but children iv worked with, with austim, need a regular routine, and understand whats happening. for fob to take her to a different country without her mum and unfamilar surroundings isnt routine. also if he used the the term, the sun will cure her austim, suggests he has no idea.
> its your decision but for me i think your making the right decision saying no :hugs:

Thank you! She has mild autism and suffers extreme separation anxiety it is so bad whilst in the hospital she had to come there all day and got depressed in the nights also refused to eat despite being with my mum who she's been with from a few months old while i'm at work. I had to leave the day after my Csection because she had a total breakdown yet I tell him this and he makes out its no big deal :nope: she loves coming home so for her she is fine to go in the day but she must be back home by evening. 

He claims I am denying him his right to being a father and that is the only way he feels he can support her :growlmad:


----------



## moomin_troll

My brothers autistic and at 5 no chance would he of survived 2 weeks away from his things and home! What an arse! 

I just text J and mentioned about seein him n got no reply so yeah I'm done! 
I don't do head games! Been there with an ex and its not worth it. 
So yeah he can go take his games to some little girl who's going to be impressed by him because now I am not! 

Going out tonight and ile have some fun and hopefully get chatted up by someone worth my time. 

The first lad I gave my number out to...a 19 ur is still after me lol and has been texting me bless him. 

Back to square 1 for me I think lol


----------



## Shezza84uk

He is proving to be such a hot and cold whine up merchant :wacko: I would move on too clearly he isn't ready for dating let alone a relationship! Go out and enjoy yourself maybe he just didnt like you saying you prefer to go out?

I think FOB is so clueless about her diagnosis.. I told him he needs to stop trying to fix her she's not broken and at least try to get to know her before making any demands because I am the only one doing the leg work from birth until now.


----------



## moomin_troll

Definitely not worth my time. He was obviously saying what he thought I wanted to hear and then was surprised when I didn't fall to his feet lol. 

He left afew things at my house. His toothbrush will clean my toilet, his sponge will go straight in the bin and his expensive ear ring will go down the drain hahaha
I should of stayed away after his first bitch fit! 

I can't believe ur ex! He's got no right having an opinion on ur daughter seen as he clearly has no clue about autism or her :/


----------



## Shezza84uk

Lol best not dump the earring just in case lol maybe he's seeing other people? 

He was probably hoping you would lap up everything and as its not the case feels he needs someone more naive.. 

Ex has no idea he's so silly ugh he's currently having a tantrum and ignoring my reply where I explained why he can't take her with him. Xx


----------



## moomin_troll

When we spoke about just seeing each other. He's the one who said he wanted to only see me, so I'm clueless. 

I could tell he wasn't used to someone like me who wasn't bothered what he got up to. 
My sister thinks that cuz when he told me he's fallen for me and I didn't have the same response he's gone quiet to protect himself from getting hurt.

Well I don't no n I don't care anymore :) 

Can't believe ur ex! What an idiot


----------



## lemontree12

shez: well what you said how you daughter was when you where in hospital is a clear way she wont be happy with 2weeks away. by the sounds of things he has no bloody idea. let him take it to court because he wouldnt stand a chance.

moom, jez are you sure hes not a secret woman by all these hormon changes, hes up and down.. to be honest, im actually slowly begining to understand dating is so not worth it. men these days, always have a few women lined up, and seriously dont give a shit..... this is lemontree offically giving up on dating and ever trying to understand men..


----------



## moomin_troll

I've always been abit of a man, he even turned round n said im more of a man then he is, because of my view on datin and seeing someone lol but yeah he's totally a woman.

I also give up trying to understand men :/ no chance in hell do I want an actual relationship for a very very long time when it's just this hard seeing someone


----------



## lemontree12

i used to be like that too, before fob... i literally never gave a shit, dated blokes, binned them of and dated the next. i always think fob was my karma for breaking a few hearts lol...


----------



## moomin_troll

It freaks men out doesn't it lol
God knows why date 1 went weird and god knows why J has gone all weird....I'm starting to see a pattern lol

Ile stick to just getting attention on a night out. Don't think I can be bothered dating if this is what I'm attracting lol


----------



## lemontree12

well, iv tried not to treat blokes like shit and iv become a walk over, literally... date 1 was a total jerk, date 2 is bi polar at the moment, his moody messgaes and now normal message, although he was working to 6am and prob slept alot today...

i actually hate dating, i hate it, i hate it, i hate it.... i want to cut my head off :dohh::dohh::dohh:


----------



## lemontree12

moom,how was your night out?


----------



## moomin_troll

Eventful hahaha
I had Raf lad text me and J saying he missed me.
They were both in the same club so I didn't go in hahaha 
I've also had the 19 yr old texting me and we spoke on the phone for 2 hours last night. 
James decided to come outside the club I was in but I wasn't willin to leave lol and he wouldn't come in, so didn't see him.
He then put a tweet up saying I've been a bad boy. 
He now won't say why, so he obviously put it up to wind me up :/ and its worked lol

I had 2 stunning lads interested last night but neither made a move or asked for my number :( lol

So yeah very good night and its made me realise that I want fun and j is starting to be too much hard work


----------



## lemontree12

god J is hard work, id bin him off too many mind games. im totally binning this bloke of, i cant be assed with it, so as of today, i wont be messaging him.

dating shouldnt be hard work, im sticking to my guns this time :)


----------



## moomin_troll

With the 19 yr old things are easy but he's far too young lol and looks very young too.
But yeah it should be fun and exciting not stressful and confusing


----------



## lemontree12

exactly, to be honest i thnk you should leave things with J now, he is drama. easy said than done but he seems so very young x


----------



## moomin_troll

He's shown a totally different side of himself and I don't get it. 
My sister thinks he's gone weird cuz he sad he's fallen for me n I didn't say the same, so maybe he's trying to stay away to protect himself. And we've all done silly things when we've liked someone.
If he doesn't make plans to see me or want to see me tonight then I'm done.

Yeah is easier said then done but I don't need drama. My life's complicated enough.

So annoyed he's changed so much in afew days from the perfect guy to a total arsehole


----------



## Shezza84uk

Dating dilemma's i'm staying clear lol sticking with Ben and Jerry until I start lighter life cant be bothered with the stress of men. Lemon tree maybe he's always moody I don't blame you not pursuing it and J is just meh and too much to keep up with lol x


----------



## moomin_troll

J text me n said he wanted to come round. I didn't text him bk, 15 mins later he turns up.
I bathed the boys and he tidied up my front room and then said he was gutted I didn't see him last night cuz he wanted to show me off to his mates....
Damn him being sweet again


----------



## Shezza84uk

moomin_troll said:


> J text me n said he wanted to come round. I didn't text him bk, 15 mins later he turns up.
> I bathed the boys and he tidied up my front room and then said he was gutted I didn't see him last night cuz he wanted to show me off to his mates....
> Damn him being sweet again

LOL gift of the gab indeed lol


----------



## moomin_troll

He's certainly a charmer


----------



## lemontree12

ok my deliema, he asked if i wanted to meet tomorrow, and he would let me no what time. so i asked him tonight what time, i could see he read my message then ignored it. so iv just cancelled, i cant be assed with rude people seriously why read something then actually not reply. god!!


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah knowin he's read the message and not replied when its to make plans that he started is so rude!


----------



## lemontree12

yea well i messaged him and told him i dont want to see him, he asked why, to which i wrote back that i did like him, but i just dont no if i want to date. the bottom line is i have huge trust issues, seeing him read my message and ignoring it, and also going on and off line, to me means hes writing to other women and keeping me on a burner. i hate i feel like ths inside but i know i will never be able to trust again :(

as soon as i wrote those messages he was writing straight back and staying online. 

i honestly am not ready to date. i doubt i will ever be


----------



## moomin_troll

If I can be ready to date then one day u will be. I've been cheated on and I know exactly how u feel but u will learn to let to abit more as time goes on. 
U will know when ur ready and right now you know ur not so don't force it x

Js left and he's charming me all over again! Damn him :/ lol


----------



## lemontree12

i know im not, iv deleted his number like a million times, because i hate being strung on, i hate it i hate it i hate it.

hes made a comment about why do i always change me mind? iv no idea what hes on about. he just wrote back that he wishes me all the best...
as you do, what du fuck... literally what du fuck??


----------



## moomin_troll

Sounds like ur better off out if it if he's going to get arsey. :/


----------



## lemontree12

yip that went down like a lead balloon, he managed to get out of me, so i told him briefly. he read the message,ignored it and been online since!!!!!!


----------



## moomin_troll

The beauty and also pain of being able to see if someone read ur message lol

I hate dating haha


----------



## lemontree12

ok iv woke up today feeling shit :(


----------



## Shezza84uk

Aww hugs lemontree you will be ok sometimes we never understand why we make the decision we do but maybe its just not the right time for you.. He's also a bit of an arse take your time eventually someone will come alone that will make you wonder FOB who?? 

Cheer up enjoy your girl the time will come when you least expect it! 

Moomin_troll you and J seem have found a spark although he's a bit immature he's charming the pants off you! Xx


----------



## lemontree12

fob is far gone from my mind, i will never want to see him again, never mind have feelings for him. its his behaviour that has scarred me. 
and with this bloke, is i the scars that makes me look at the negatives, believe this bloke was lying when he possibly wasnt. and now iv blown it :( :( :(


----------



## moomin_troll

U went with ur gut instinct, u couldn't of ignored that as it wouldn't of constantly niggled at u. 
Take ur time and concentrate on urself and ur gorgeous girl. 
Only do what feels right. 

Oh shezza J is driving me crazy lol he acts like a dick and I say I'm done, and then I see him and he says something and its forgotten lol
I still don't think we would last but I'm going to see where this goes. 
I've told him he can't hang around the boys anymore because we dont no whats going on and he's said ok. But then added even if we didn't last I'd still wana see u and I'd still see the boys...... I just said erm no lol

He bought it up again about me not meetin him sat night. I said oh wow that's really upset u, and he went on joking defence mode. I see right threw it bless him


----------



## Shezza84uk

lemontree12 said:


> fob is far gone from my mind, i will never want to see him again, never mind have feelings for him. its his behaviour that has scarred me.
> and with this bloke, is i the scars that makes me look at the negatives, believe this bloke was lying when he possibly wasnt. and now iv blown it :( :( :(

Don't think you've blown it hun instincts are the best and he probably was not being honest or genuine. In regards to FOB I meant all the things he did will become distant memory when the right person come along it takes that one special person to complete you just hang in there xx 

Moomin_troll There is a lot of adventure for you and J to have then he might bore you lol x


----------



## moomin_troll

Seen as Saturday my eyes went elsewhere I'm thinking he will bore me one day lol 
But I'm going to keep seein him and just start to enjoy myself. 
Going to have to talk to him again about actually going out instead of just being round mine.


----------



## lemontree12

ok happy face again. he messaged me tonight and asked to explain lastnight. and i did, im going to see him tomorrow. i need to stop over thinking things and go with it :)

did J come round?


----------



## moomin_troll

U can't keep away! A good and bad sign lol
He's got footie at 9 so not sure.

I've got the 19 yr old textin me sayin my weekend off he wants to go away with me....J best tell me if he's comin with me or I'm going with a teenager hahaha


----------



## lemontree12

I don't no, I think I was looking for all the negatives because I'm afraid il get hurt. I'm relaxing with it and learning my lesson. I really quite like him :) and he must like me to message me tonight. Who knows!

Is ben the 19yr old? Xx


----------



## moomin_troll

No bens 22. 
The 19 ur old is the first lad I have my number to back in October. He's a really sweet lad. We always chat and now and again we get flirty lol

J isn't coming around. Got a text 20 mins ago sayin he's just guna go bed.

Hope u can relax and just enjoy things x


----------



## lemontree12

Iv learnt my lesson this time. :)

Has j said anything about going away again?


----------



## moomin_troll

Nope he's not said a thing :/ 

I really think he's acting like the big man because he's not used to being the one who likes the girl more and the fact i come across like I'm not really bothered lol
If he doesn't make plans soon I'm going on a date with a boy hahaha


----------



## lemontree12

Haha love it :) xxx


----------



## moomin_troll

The 19 yr old T is such a nice lad. I'm going to meet him this Friday in the day for a drink and a chat and see what happens. We've been textin on and off for the past 3 months, feels longer. If im feeling shitty texting him always cheers me up. 
My mate is desperate for me to go away with T lol feel like I'm being pimped out haha


----------



## lemontree12

haha love when people try pimp you out lol. thats what my brother did too. i think you should keep your opinions open. if only J knew this treat them mean keep them keen way is actually making you look else where lol


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> haha love when people try pimp you out lol. thats what my brother did too. i think you should keep your opinions open. if only J knew this treat them mean keep them keen way is actually making you look else where lol

He might just find out that it really doesn't work lol 
I don't do chasing, especially now and with someone younger then me lol I'm not desperate and he's not my only option.

He knows I'm not falling over myself for him lol so he best stop acting stupid soon. 
He did make the comment Monday how it's obvious he likes me more then I like him....finally he's started to get it hahaha


----------



## moomin_troll

J has made a very big mistake! 
I've text him again about the weekend I have free n he hasn't text bk....that would be fine if he wasn't in the mean time tweeting some girl! 
I'm so angry.
Looks like that weekend ile have myself a date with a teenager hahaha


----------



## Shezza84uk

Glad it's working out lemontree :) 

Moomin_troll he's taking the piss! Did he reply in the end? Xx


----------



## moomin_troll

No he's not replied! I text him at 10.15 ish. By 1.30 I had no reply n yet again he tweeted so I text him saying hint taken. 

Again no reply to that so he can officially go f himself! 
I don't do games. He's made out he's got such feelings for me and he was so gutted Saturday because I didn't meet his mates!!!!! Yeah I didn't because he pulls stunts like this.
Well I hope he thinks his little boy games have been worth it because I'm done


----------



## lemontree12

omg dump that boy!!! what did the tweet say?


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> omg dump that boy!!! what did the tweet say?

He was tweeting some girl with general stuff really. 
Then put up a pic of him n a mate. Tagged 2 girls in it n put #nokissing #round2saturday

Well hes been a Total waste of my time. Luckily I might be out Saturday myself. I will go where he is n show him exactly what he messed up


----------



## lemontree12

haha love it. 

shows his maturity if he cant even text you back but does that. silly boy!!


----------



## moomin_troll

He's just retweed one of the girls he tagged so yeah I'm not getting a reply! The child


----------



## ZombieQueen

Men are such idiots! That would have made me extremely mad.. I'd cut him out!

I ditched both guys I was talking to here, they share an ex and theres some stuff still going on between those three, texted them and said I want nothing to do with their little drama circle. But on the plus, I met someone who lives an island over (oh hawaii..) and he's older, but I reaaallly get along with him, better than I have with 98% of people. Haha. Keep on keeping on! No use wasting energy on men who aren't right for you!


----------



## lemontree12

i agree with you :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Well J hasn't text me so yeah that's totally over and done with. I'm so angry, he said so many things and for it to now just be over with no actual ending is what really hurts, well I say hurts it doesn't I'm just pissed off.

I move fast anyway because I have a date with the 19yr old next Friday.....hahaha


----------



## lemontree12

what a loser!!! i cant believe he would not even message you!! loser
and it was only the other day he said if you were to end he would still want to see the boys. gobsmacked :dohh:


----------



## moomin_troll

He's a sicko! 
Tellin me he knew we'd end up together..saying he liked me more then I liked him, telling me he'd fallen for me.
Must of been all lies! Why I have no idea.

It's going to drive me insane. Things should have an actual end and the fact this doesn't has really pissed me off! 
I so wana text him just askin wtf, but I no he's not even worth that


----------



## lemontree12

that was what fob done to me, then a week later hed text and say he wants to work towards seeing me and the baby, then the next week he couldnt remember saying that. there was no end, no conversation. afer 4yrs and a baby together you kind of expect an end... 

these few days will be had but just keep texting 19yr old and if J messages you tell hm to go F himself x


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah if J texts me I won't even respond and if he turns up at my door ile tell him exactly what I think of him.

My bets he won't even bother. Oh well he can go off and impress the little skets with his so called swag and stay away from playing with the big dogs because he clearly can't handle it.
I keep getting the urge to message him or even call but I know ile just piss myself off even more when he doesn't text bk or won't answer.

I really do know how to choose them lol

At least the 19 yr told T is abit more grown up then J and actually gets I have a past and wouldn't bitch about a picture on my wall lol
I'm so staying away from any form of a relationship from now on. Going out on dates only!


----------



## moomin_troll

To have no ending when uve got a baby together is awful! Makes my situation seem like nothing lol
God I hate ur ex!


----------



## Shezza84uk

Ugh he's being a little shit, I think he wants you to want him more than he wants you, he couldn't handle not being in controle and now is trying to play the treat them mean card. 

If he turns up at your house he would be brave tell him to get f*cked! don't text him or call him in fact delete his number because if you contact him he would be getting the thrill he's seeking he has lots of growing up to do! But not on your watch the f**king p*ssy let him waste someone else's time ugh


----------



## moomin_troll

Hahahaha he's text me. He likes me but can't see me anymore because he can't be with someone who doesn't want kids. Wtf we've been seeing each other a month so yeah f*ck him the nutter


----------



## Shezza84uk

Hahaha silly boy! A month and he wants to get you up the duff lol


----------



## moomin_troll

He text me askin if we are cool? 
I said yeah why wouldn't we be? This wasn't right for me so I'm not bothered lol 
What a little twat! Hahaha

As if u end things with someone uve fallen for after 4 weeks cuz they don't want more kids? 

Wow I dodged a bullet there hahaha


----------



## lemontree12

i seen your fb status and rushed on for an update :) 

what an immature little twat... so he ignores you for a day, tweets other girls and then messages you to see if you are cool? jesus!! 

did he write back?


----------



## moomin_troll

He was then like what's the point in being with someone if u can't see a future.
I just said I have no idea what the future holds, I don't make plans.

Jesus! So glad I'm out of it


----------



## lemontree12

oh and another one for my great theories.
im always wary of people who fall for you so quickly, because if they fall for you quickly, they can quite easily move on as quickly. if someone takes the time to get to know you and dont rush into things, are the ones that stick around. kinda like somone who tells you they love you all the time, complared to the ones who say it here and there, you know when its not over used it means more 

i would certainly be wary if your first big arguement after 4weeks together was about having kids!!!


----------



## moomin_troll

Wasn't even an argument because far as I was concern it was all over yesterday haha 
Little twat! 
So yeah bring on the date with a teenager hahahaha


I duno Thomas told me he loved me after 2 weeks. But we were meant to be :)


----------



## lemontree12

yea but you and thomas both had that chemistry, actual love at first sight. i do believe in that totally. but i mean when one likes someone more than the other, just never trust someone.

xx


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> yea but you and thomas both had that chemistry, actual love at first sight. i do believe in that totally. but i mean when one likes someone more than the other, just never trust someone.
> 
> xx

Oh yeah I no what u mean. 

Well what a waste of my time but on the bright side I got my get it over and done with guy lol 
So yeah I don't need to be scared about sex anymore :) 
Now I'm going to concentrate on my boys and just have fun! I dot need serious and he was a whole load of crazy


----------



## lemontree12

he was def too full on. well iv decided not to go with that bloke after all and go on a date with the nice guy :)


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> he was def too full on. well iv decided not to go with that bloke after all and go on a date with the nice guy :)

I'm glad uve said that! Sometimes it's good to go for the nice guy.
The teenager I'm going on a date with looks so young lol he's on my Facebook so just looked at his pics.
Oh dear lol but f it! He's a really nice lad and its goin to be a fun night


----------



## lemontree12

yea it started lastnight, by him not able to meet me, im fine with not seeing him, but it was his answer, it simply said I cant :( no explaination no nothing, he was online all night adding girls, so when he messaged me goodnight i just didnt write back nor have i messaged him today, i guess i quickly seen sense. plus why doi need to have just fun when i can have fun with a good guy who is honest and wont mess me around, so decided to do that rather than the chase. plus the good guy is hotter, so exactly why didnt i jump him first, i guess the chase.
plus im away for possible 2-3weeks so wont see any while im away, interestng to see if they are still interested


----------



## lemontree12

i bet he doesnt look that young, both those blokes where 3yrs younger than me :dohh:


----------



## moomin_troll

Take the chance on the fit nice guy! 
I've just started to feel so deflated by all this crap. 
He was great to begin with and then the last week n half of head games has really taken it out of me, didn't realise till now.

I don't miss him, I'm way better off without the hassle, but I was so comfortable around him and I liked the attention. Plus having someone around at the end of the night was nice :( 
I could easily call the teenager and he'd be round in a flash lol but I'm sticking to flirting on nights out and dates only. No one comes to my house unless I'm baby less and I want some u know what hahahaha


----------



## lemontree12

i know exacly how you feel, when you where used to no attention, dates, flirting and you know what, you get used to it and you dont miss it, but as soon as youve had it and it stops you actually realise what youve been missing out on.

im def going to take a chance on fit bloke. to be honest he is kind of prefect, on paper prefect. although my gutt instinct has never failed me, iv just failed to listen to it and my gutt instinct is, hes a really nice bloke :)


----------



## moomin_troll

So was James lol keep ur eyes wide open and ule be fine


----------



## moomin_troll

9 hours since the last text and J has text me! 
Sayin he really likes me but he can't wing it in the hopes that if we work out I may want kids.
Seriously wtf? It's done and over with. I haven't asked him to reconsider, so obviously this has been eating away at him which I'm kinda happy about in a twisted haha way lol


----------



## lemontree12

goodness, no way.
what did you write back?


----------



## moomin_troll

I just said I haven't asked u to reconsider so I duno what u want me to say.
And he was like its horrible but I've gota do this. 

I'd been texting teenager tonight so wasn't thinkin about all this crap n he suddenly texts me and I'm worked up again :/ tw*t
He's obviously wanting to drag this out or just make sure he's on my mind :/


----------



## Shezza84uk

Go with the fit bloke lemontree! Moomin_troll he wants to drag it out into a complex breakup situation maybe he is hoping you are devastated..

I would reply saying no worries, I'm not devastated enough to ask you to stay lol 

As for me FOB is being nice again :/ I wonder what's next up his sleeve smh!


----------



## moomin_troll

If he texts me again I just won't reply. Can't believe he pulled that stunt. 

Maybe he thinks if he's nice ule give in about the holiday haha


----------



## moomin_troll

lemontree12 said:


> i bet he doesnt look that young, both those blokes where 3yrs younger than me :dohh:

I've just seen this comment. Oh yes he looks young lol he's 19 but could pass for 15 hahaha
5 yrs younger lol...
Where are all the older men? I want one of those please


----------



## lemontree12

yea i know, i neve seem to go for men my age. no choice of my own, it just happens :/


----------



## moomin_troll

I've always ended up with older men, I was the girl at school who had bfs not in school lol
No idea why that's suddenly changed now and all I attract is babies


----------



## moomin_troll

Well I've been childish hahaha I know James looks on my twitter even tho he doesn't follow me. 
So I've tweeted about my date next Friday hahaha suck on that douche!


----------



## lemontree12

haha love it :)
what it your tweet say?


----------



## moomin_troll

It says....
So excited for next weekend. Being taken out for dinner Friday on an unexpected date, then Manchester Saturday baby! 

Lol very childish hahaa haven't heard from him today....yet


----------



## lemontree12

haha love it :)

taste of his own medicine :)


----------



## Shezza84uk

Lol he deserves it!


----------



## moomin_troll

Had my mate round tonight n I haven't seen her since I met J so told her everything. Talkin about the first few dates my face lit up :( they were so good, gutted he went weird :( 
Feeling shitty now but f it! It's the past and now I'm going to have fun


----------



## Shezza84uk

Onwards and upwards hun forget him! Xxx


----------



## moomin_troll

I met up with the teenager today. Only half an hour cuz I had to pick the boys up from nursery. He's such a sweet lad. Should be a good night next Friday.

I text J cuz he left an earring here n thought I'd be grown up about it. He wanted to come round n get it so I asked when n I've had no reply....which is what I was expecting but wanted to see him :/ how sad is that lol 

But yes I am moving on. No way in hell would I go back there again


----------



## lemontree12

good on you :) xxx


----------



## moomin_troll

He's text me sayin I duno is it weird?
I've said it's ur earring, thought I'd tell u it's here.
He's such a girl lol


----------



## lemontree12

Anything new happening? X


----------



## moomin_troll

Nope, I haven't heard off J. So childish that he went from such strong feelings to now not even talking to me to get an earring!
What a head f*ck lol
So I'm staying well away.
Other then that I'm still texting the teenager. Can't believe I'm going on a date with someone so young haha but unlike J he's straight forward and doesn't expect anything from me. 
Zanes come down ill today :( hope he's better tomo. Big plans this weekend and I don't wana be ill


----------



## moomin_troll

Aww the teenager can't wait till Friday to see me so we are meeting for a drink on Wednesday night. 
He's so sweet and I've known him 3 months and so far nothing weird about him hahaha 
Any updates from u lovely ladies?


----------



## Shezza84uk

Lol your slowly stepping into cougar vile! no updates for me, I guess no change for the worst is always a good sign lol x


----------



## moomin_troll

Shezza84uk said:


> Lol your slowly stepping into cougar vile! no updates for me, I guess no change for the worst is always a good sign lol x

No news is better then bad news hahaha
My mates are calling my flacky, as in Caroline flack for dating a teenager hahaha so yes think I've gone full on cougar! 

Sent J a message on his works Facebook saying cancel my window cleaning....he messages back "I already have" nice he didn't tell me :/ 
Totally done, I won't even say hi if I see him out. Can't believe he hid that fact he's such a douche lol


----------



## Shezza84uk

He's a total twat! How unprofessional of him, next time he shouldn't be mixing business and pleasure because he's still a child x


----------



## moomin_troll

Yup :/ I'd of happily kept his service, but when he wouldn't even get an earring off me I thought what's the point...obviously not much seen as he pulled that stunt.

And yet it was him saying are we cool? And that he'd still want to no me if things didn't work out lol
Total child, very happy I saw his craziness now instead of later down the line


----------



## moomin_troll

Had my mini date with teenager. Had a nice time, we get on well. Had a kiss goodbye.
I couldn't really see much happening with us anyway because he's so young but it's nice to just go out knowing that I will have a good time with a nice guy who doesn't mess me around and we are both on the same page.
I'm going to sit back and enjoy what ever happens


----------



## Shezza84uk

Sounds lovely, he might become your new best friend guy friend although nothing wrong with dating someone younger.. You never know you might become attracted to him gradually xx


----------



## moomin_troll

He's a good looking lad. 10 yrs he will be hot hahaha
I do think we will continue to be mates, that when drunk I will end up kissing hahaha


----------



## daneuse27

Yay for younger guys! I see nothing wrong with it, as long as they're not niave and have an idea what might be different about dating a mom as opposed to a regular lady. 

Started talking to another guy online who says he's an engineer. Seemed nice and genuine, enough, but was telling me about a trip to Europe he took with his buddies after they graduated and apparently they spent "most" of their tme in Netherlands. It may sound overly judgmental of me, but it was an instant turn off because I can't think of many reasons besides the obvious why a group of boys would fly from Canada to Holland and spend most of their time there. lol. Next!

Ive been emailing back and forth with a divorced guy for a couple months now who has a son. Im not sure if there's a romantic connection or not, but I really enjoy our back and forth conversation. He seems so easy going and funny...


----------



## moomin_troll

We all have a past, so for me a boys trip to holland wouldn't be a deal breaker lol but r choice and we should all stick to our gut reaction.

Well had my second date with teenager. Such a good night, we get on as I already knew we would. 
So funny, I got my revenge all in one night. 
Date 1 from the beginning of the thread had to collect glasses from out table. Then we saw J hahaha
He looked at me, I gave no reaction. Instead of goin the way he came, J decided to walk past us to go to his table...I didn't look but could tell he was because teenager looked at him.

Through out the night he looked at me any chance he could. He was on the dance floor n stood at the spot apposite my table, I just turned my back.
Brilliant :)


----------



## Shezza84uk

Lol revenge is good!! I hope you looked extra hot just so he see what he's missed out on lol


----------



## moomin_troll

Shezza84uk said:


> Lol revenge is good!! I hope you looked extra hot just so he see what he's missed out on lol

Not to toot my own horn but I did look good :) hahaha


----------



## moomin_troll

Well me and a friend went out in Manchester last night. 
I looked on twitter and saw J had sent me a message Friday night, askin how I was doing. Made out its cuz he knew it was my wedding anniversary, when we both no he was jealous lol that annoyed me, but anyways
We were having a really good night until I look up and there's J walkin towards me :wacko: I just said f*ck and my mate wanted to rip his face off lol
He said hi, held my hand n went. 
So weird that he was even there and to see me in that club...it was packed and I was sat in a corner. The texts then started. Sayin I should go where he was, then sayin I should get a taxi to his hotel...I said if u wana see me come mine, he said I'm in my boxers... Yeah lol I didn't go! 
Then today more texts askin how my date went, n that we looked cosy. 
I asked if he was watchin me lol n he lied n said I didn't even see u, my mates kept tellin me.....wtf I saw him watchin me hahaha

Anyway I met another lad called Ben. Didn't chat for long and nothing happened, but liked him. I was textin his mate n said give Ben my number. We've been texting all day. He wants to come to Stafford and meet for a date. I've not told him I have kids, and I don't plan to unless I really need to. 
I want to be spoken to like a woman, not treated differently


----------



## Shezza84uk

J is becoming a weirdo its almost as if he expects you to still be his bit on the side what a joker! He's clearly got issues somewhat stalker like too lol keep rubbing your freedom in his face maybe he will then piss off with his childish games. 

I don't get these men your probably doing the best thing not saying about the boys these men assume as your a single mum your easy... Smh


----------



## moomin_troll

I really don't no what he expects from me. He's really weird about sex, so don't think he wants me as a bit on the side.
I think it's more he wanted to feel like I still want him n that he's got a power over me, which he hasn't lol

I feel weird not sayin I've got kids, but my mates saying he doesn't live in our area, so he doesn't need to know and I can just have fun without complications. 
Not sure how long I can keep it up for lol but I'm giving it ago.


----------



## Shezza84uk

Ahh yes didn't think of that, the I'm too irresistible you must want me delusion lol 

Yh its probably best just having fun although I'm not sure how I would then drop the I've got kids bomb if you decide get serious, in theory if they like you enough they would accept you with kids so telling later shouldn't change that, it would more be that you didn't say which would make them furious.. Dating with children eh.. Joy joy lol


----------



## moomin_troll

J certainly thinks hes gods gift lol
Teenager has never made the fact I have kids an issue, which is great but not every lad is like that. 
I don't think I'd get serious with the new guy. He doesn't live close to me and his job takes him all over the UK, so perfect for not serious. Although if things got physical not sure how I'd explain stretch marks on my stomach only hahaha my mate says keep covered up or tell him I got fat n lost weight hahahaha


----------



## Shezza84uk

Lol yh could say you got fat and lost weight lol have you heard from the teen? X


----------



## moomin_troll

Not heard off teen today, but last night he was texting me sayin he wants to see me again soon. He got knocked out while playing rugby Saturday lol
New guys just text me sayin hi.
Spoke to my mum n sister about keeping the boys to myself n they think I should. But then if I started to really like him within a month..then tell him


----------



## moomin_troll

Textin new guy B last night n he wanted to drive up to see me tonight. Couldn't get a babysitter so had to make my excuses. Not tellin him the real reason why is proving difficult already lol
Possibly got a date Thursday....valentines day hahaha


----------



## Shezza84uk

Lol tiny hurdle, lucky for you to have a valentines date ive opt for baking valentines cookies with DD lol


----------



## moomin_troll

He's not mentioned it again so don't have a date just yet. 
I'm ashamed to admit, but since seeing J in Manchester all I've wanted to do is see him :/ I haven't text him tho. 
My mates fuming because this is the reaction he wanted from me and he's got it :/ 

She's coming round for pizza tonight, just what I need a girly chat :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Hi ladies 
How are you all doing?


----------



## lemontree12

hey girls, back from my break, who wants to give me a summary whats been going on to save me reading up on everything.

heres my summary
that bloke, iv decided to properly ditch him of, the 'ex' had uploaded a recent photo of him in the bath, so i somehow think hes a cheater. plus that spark ran out.
nice bloke, we we have been messaging loads while i was away was suppose to go out today, but havent really heard from him, so alittle unsure whats going on.
ok a new one to the mix, a guy was went on a few dates when lo was really really little, but he gt back with his ex, well he is now texting too. but all fun :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Welcome back babe!
Update in brief...I went on a date with teenager n J saw us..funny. Next night i went out in a different city n J was there! Text me but he's well and truly gone now. Mate saw him with a girl today, so think he's seeing someone else.

I met a lad in Manchester, didn't tell him I have kids so he must if thought I was brushing him off, nothin else there.

I went out Friday and kissed the most sexy barman I've bet seen. Thought he was hot for ages, so real confidence boost there....even tho the dirty git asked me to go bk to his hahaha I didn't. 

Other then that I'm now so ill it's unreal :( feelin very sorry for myself


----------



## lemontree12

wow alot has happened lol... so glad J has gone :)

oh no, whats up, why you feeling poorly? x


----------



## moomin_troll

Shaking, sick. No idea where this has come from :( 
J has finally gone lol still feel abit bleurgh about it all seen as he seemed so nice, but he couldn't hide his weird ass forever hahaha
A lad who knows J started to follow me on twitter. And we've been flirting...he's not good looking, but a flirt is always good :)


----------



## lemontree12

yea the flirt is good :)
havent heard anything from 'nice' bloke today, so im just going to leave things i think


----------



## moomin_troll

No point u chasing him! 
Just bought a new dress and shoes for Friday. Looking forward to seeing hot barman! He's a white Lenny kravits...right up my street hahaha


----------



## moomin_troll

The lad who started texting me who kinda knows J wants a date...he's army but leaving, I don't fancy him but we get on so I've said yes. No idea when, as we are both busy.

And randomly started talking to Ben again the lad this thread was made about haha he's out Friday for his bday, so I may meet up with him to say hi :)


----------



## els1989

Where do you go to meet new guys? Just on the internet? x


----------



## moomin_troll

els1989 said:


> Where do you go to meet new guys? Just on the internet? x

I've started to talk to one lad I met on twitter. But the others I've met on nights out, other then my window cleaner who I knew before hand lol


----------



## lemontree12

your hot on demand kim :)

dj bloke wants to meet tomorrow, but i doubt i will agree to it. nice bloke wrote to me the next day saying that he tried to ring me 4times to try get hold of me, which il give him the benefit of the doubt, but i know there was no missed calls on my phone. strike one :)

i need to get back on baby and bump, since being at home and not using it for 2weeks, iv got out of the way of coming on, unlike before when it was p there of things to check along with facebook. i havent even looked onto babyclub


----------



## moomin_troll

I am in demand hahaha 
I've had people calling me and it not showing up...so I'd believe him, this time!
Dj bloke might be worth meeting just for a night out lol us mummies need a break! 
Well I'm out this Friday and then next weekend for my birthday! Ile be 25....and yet the average age I'm attracting is 22 lol


----------



## lemontree12

ok was randomly texting this bloke i meet on a website. he asked for a photo so i sent him one of my facebook, he wrote your quite pretty, so joked about saying 'quite, you know how to flatter a girl' which he wrote back 'well im not going to tell you your beautiful yet, or how else will you improve' i told him that im not trying to improve, im happy with how i am and im not a high maintenance type of girl. he then wrote, your my type of girl... and then asks what i was like in bed 
:dohh::dohh::dohh:

seriously do i have 'weirdo attraction' written on my head


----------



## moomin_troll

Hahahaha I always get asked sexual questions quiet early on...other then J that is


----------



## AbbynChloe

Well no i finally have something interesting to add to this thread.

A few weeks ago founf out FoB was seeing a new girl, it kinda floored me but not as bad , actually no where near as bad as I thought it would!

well today walking into work, looking all hot and sweaty, a nice-ish looking kinda guy stopped me asking for my number........ shocked isn't even the word! 

things like that never happen to me!


----------



## moomin_troll

AbbynChloe said:


> Well no i finally have something interesting to add to this thread.
> 
> A few weeks ago founf out FoB was seeing a new girl, it kinda floored me but not as bad , actually no where near as bad as I thought it would!
> 
> well today walking into work, looking all hot and sweaty, a nice-ish looking kinda guy stopped me asking for my number........ shocked isn't even the word!
> 
> things like that never happen to me!

Yay for being asked for ur number!! Has he made contact?


----------



## AbbynChloe

nooo - i took his number - still haven't texted....

what do i do???


----------



## AbbynChloe

ahhh he's gonna turn out to be a masssive loser.......


----------



## ZombieQueen

That's awesome! I have no advice though as I usually mess things up haha. 

So Kimberly, remember on fb we mentioned the boyfriends who don't know they're our boyfriends? Coincidentally enough my boyfriend from SIX years ago randomly added me on fb today. Talk about weird. He's totally not my type anymore, but he still gets me feeling giddy. Poor sap has no clue.

On a serious note, I've been talking to this guy for a while, he lives an island over and flew here to spend valentines day with me. It was good, but he likes me a looooot more than I like him. He's nice though.. I'm just kind of going with the flow with him.. Not gonna over a analyze or freak out.


----------



## daneuse27

AbbynChloe, yay for getting a guy's number! I probably wouldn't know what to say either. Maybe just "Hey, Im ______ who you ran into the other day" and see how he responds? 

Zombiequeen, the guy does sound very nice, are you worried that he's "too" nice?

As for me, I met a guy who sounds really nice online last week. He actually messaged me weeks ago but it took me 14 days to get back to him. 2 years older than me, and we seem to have a ton in common - I actually smile when I get a text from him, which is rare for someone I just met. Hes weird with text sometimes though, last night we were texting back and forth and then he suddenly didn't respond after I asked a question. :shrug: So now I dont know what to do; wait and see if he eventually replies, maybe my text somehow didnt arrive, or text him and say "hey, did you receive that last text of mine last night?" hmm... :coffee:


----------



## moomin_troll

First off abbynchloe I'd just text saying hi this is ____ how ru? Keep it simple. Have fun, texting can really build ur confidence!

Zombiequeen of course I remember hahaha woooo that's so sweet! Definitely go with the flow :D

Daneuse....men are useless at texting! Personally I'd leave it like a day, depending on the text and then just say hi.

Ile be seeing a sexy barman tomorrow night, so ile keep u all up to date with that lol


----------



## lemontree12

yah we got some more yummy mummies joining :)

wow abby, what a confidence boost him asking for your number, i would def text saying hey, texting is fun. iv found texting has build up my confidence again :)

how lovely zombie for him to come see you on valentines day :) my new rule is to opt for nice blokes, iv got my hot date with mister nice bloke tomorrow :) rather nervous and excited.

daneuse, def agree with moomin, leave it like a day, then just write something simple like hi. mayb he was busy when he read the message, or mayb it wasnt something he wanted to share

x


----------



## moomin_troll

Texting certainly helped me build up my confidence with dating, and now look at me, afew dates and a weird ex under my belt hahaha

So happy I made this thread, love hearing about what u ladies are getting up to :D

Woooo a hot date! Lol have fun :)
I've given up on rules, I'm just going to go with the flow...in my experience even the ones that seem nice aren't haha


----------



## daneuse27

It turned out that he didnt receive my text for some reason, its sorted and now we're texting back and forth again. :)

Good luck on the date, let us know how it went xx


----------



## ZombieQueen

I spent allll day texting my "boyfriend who doesn't know he's my boyfriend because I secretly stalked him" it's so odd, he's lacking in every department for my tastes now.. But I can't stop texting him. Ah well. May as well enjoy myself!

Although the guy who visited for valentines asked if we were exclusive.. Merrr... How was I supposed to say no? I'm bad at this. I'm not really interested in anyone else.. And he's nice, but yeah a little too nice. I hate admitting it, but I love a bad boy. Hard to get, naughty and completely delicious. :shrug: can't date those guys anymore..

But today has been full of men talking to me... Too much attention. Guys from my past I want nothing to do with. Is there a full moon or something? I swear they collaborated to all bug me today..

Daneuse - that happens with texting! But I'm glad it's sorted. I always feel so awkward when I don't get a reply to a question..


----------



## moomin_troll

Yay for texting! Lol 
I'm rather looking forward to my night out tonight :D
I just hope i dont run into J. i havent deleted our texts or his number yet :/ so thats being done tonight, as my mates want to see me do it hahaha
My brother has stepped forward saying he's happy to babysit so I'm making the most of it while I can


----------



## daneuse27

ZombieQueen, I have the same weakness for 'bad boys' FOB was one of them and its only now that I'm just starting to realize he will never get better and be 'settle down' material. Not in the sense that he's a player, but the way he treats me. Its hard because they are so attractive!

One of my best friends is actually in love with me...we talk almost every day, and he is one of those really 'nice guys' who will treat any woman he's with like a queen. I WANT to feel attracted to him, I really do but am not sure if I do feel anything :( If I felt the same way, my future would be made and he would be an amazing stepdad to my little girl, no doubt. But Im not sure where I stand.. Still trying to figure that out.

So lucky moomin troll that your brother will babysit, what a nice brother! Have fun on your date ;) I unfortunately dont know who I could ask to watch LO if I were to go on a date with the guy Im texting. My mom has never really offered and Im not sure how I feel asking her.. and Im worried that LO will get separation anxiety and freak out if Im not there.... sigh. If he asks me out, Ill have to think of something, because I want to meet him in person to see if theres anything there so Im not wasting my time if theres not.


----------



## moomin_troll

Ask ur mum, u deserve a night out! 
It's not a date tonight, I'm just seeig him after he finishes work for an hour lol but I'm sure ile have a good night out...bought a new dress so I'm happy


----------



## ZombieQueen

Daneuse - my ex was a bit of the bad boy.. And this guy I'm texting is not so much a bad boy, I mean he is a little, he's just more of a drifter, never stays in one place long because he wants to explore. He's just.. Unattainable. But he mentioned being tired of drifting! I am like you, I want so bad to feel something for the nice guy.. I'm giving him a chance to see if it maybe grows over time.. Why are nice guys so hard to fall for?! Like on paper, you're like "he's clearly the best suitor" but it just doesn't work... Drives me mad!!

But Kimberly, you're definitely lucky to have a babysitter!! My mom will once in a while, but Ellowyn hates being away from me, so it's hard on her.


----------



## lemontree12

date went as follows:
we had ordinally said 7.30 but about 6ish he said it would just be after 8 he would pick me up, afer 8 he said his friend was jus getting petol they where leaving in 10mins, at just before 9 he said they had just left at just before 10 he said they where in my area. so in the end i went to bed, that was the last i heard anything, and i hope to god he never trys to talk to me again

this is me offically giving up on any hope of trusting or being with a man.
totally done with


----------



## moomin_troll

Disgusting! Don't even give him the time of day again!
Well I didn't see Ben and barman was busy working :/ but had a good night anyways


----------



## ZombieQueen

Woooooow that's so flipping rude. What a dick! His loss Hun. Don't let one dick ruin the rest.


----------



## AbbynChloe

Thats really crap lemontree :-( sorry you've been messed around.

well i text that guy same night(thurday) and nothing. not surpirsed though, i looked horrible!


----------



## moomin_troll

If u looked horrible, he wouldn't of given u his number!

J had a thing for me for a year..each time he saw me, once a month I was tired with a newborn breast feeding, pjs, messy hair n no make up lol men don't pay much attention


----------



## daneuse27

aw I'm sorry to hear lemontree! He doesnt sound like he's worth the time/energy at all though. It sounds like he's the insecure one because he obviously made multiple plans in case things fell through... he's a jerk and you shouldnt let that define your dating experience. There are actual MEN out there, as opposed to immature boys.


----------



## moomin_troll

My mums settin me up with a 6'5" Aussie rugby player :0 he's working in a bar and ile be seeing him next Friday haha


----------



## lemontree12

i woke up with 3 messages at 4am, apparently... his bat went dead and the car broke down, something to do with the engine and the AA took him home and the car is completely broken, he apparently sat in the car freezing and is unwell today. when i was trying to ring him lastnight the call was saying call failed and not ringng at all. i dont no what that means. Hes not one for going out drinking etc. but i just dont no. i said i was sorry he went threw that, because i didnt have the heart to go off on one if he generally did go threw that but i did say that mayb we just arent suppose to be which he said please dont say that babe. 
dating is annoying as and i dont no if i have the patience for it to be honest.

omg aussie rugby player??? do you reckon your mum can do some setting up for me :p


----------



## moomin_troll

If ur call wasn't connecting then I'd say his phone was off. The story is so crazy it does sound like it could be true.
Follow ur gut. But yes dating is annoying and more times then not is more trouble then it's worth hahaha

I'm hoping he's as gorgeous as she says he is lol 
But I heard 6'5" and that's me sold lol


----------



## moomin_troll

Got abit more info on the Aussie, he's 27!!! Yay finally a decent age haha

Well I hit an all time low today. 
This afternoon I was texting teenager and we arranged a mini date for tonight.
Then at 4 I get a taxi from him cancelling....his mum said he had to stay in n help her hahaha omg I'm "dating" someone who still takes orders from his mother :wacko:


----------



## lemontree12

hey ladies :)
so anything new?


----------



## moomin_troll

Nothing much is new. Went out last night and kissed the sexy barman again, saw J and his really ugly new gf lol
Going out again tonight. Teenager will be there and so will barman :D


----------



## daneuse27

lol @ moomin troll. hope you have fun again tonight!

I'm still talking (well, emailing and texting actually) the guy from a couple weeks ago. He's 28, I'm 26. He's a medic with the military but going to persue a career in paramedics. He seems really, really nice... almost too nice maybe. I told him I had a daughter and his response was "Yeah, I recall seeing on your dating profile. I'm sure she's a cutie. :) "

He asked if we could meet up for coffee, but I expressed a desire to talk a bit more before meeting up. I want to meet him, but I dont want to leave my baby girl behind :( I think I have separation anxiety. lol.


----------



## lemontree12

so did you start talking to the senxy 6.5f oz?

its a good idea to talk and feel comfortable with eachother before meeting, how long you been chatting for?


----------



## moomin_troll

Meetin the oz next weekend lol
I'm a busy girl :)


----------



## lemontree12

you are a busy girl indeed :) oh btw loving the purple hair? is it a perm change of just for your birthday?

i had a date with nice boy last night finally :)


----------



## ZombieQueen

Busy is good! You looked fabulous as a crayon btw!

Lemontree, how did the date go??

I've been talking to the guy from years ago, we pretty much text all day long. I'm so head over heels for him, but I can't figure out if its my 15 year old girlish fantasies coming out or if adult me likes him. Either way, I just feel like running around flailing my arms. But I'm going to contain myself. He's just so not my type now, but I haven't felt so excited in a very long time.. Shame he lives across the ocean and he will disappear again soon. Ah well, at least I know I can feel like this again someday. The nice guy I've been seeing is starting to get on my nerves though, poor lad. He IMs me, fb messages me and texts me at the same time and thinks I'm going to find it amusing. Which I don't. He also got snippy because he noticed my dating profile was active and said single. I don't dig clingy and insecure. I'm so ready to call it quits, but I can't bring myself to do it.. I don't know, I'm sure once my old love disappears I'll be less annoyed by nice guy.. Got asked out by two guys locally this last week. When it rains, it pours..


----------



## moomin_troll

Aww Aiko it's great u feel like that :) 
And Louise finally a date lol details? 
The purples a perminate thing, went purple ages ago but lighter, which I prefer.

I had a really good night, J was out n spent the night watching me hahaha 
But in a strange turn of events I ended up going home with the teenager hahaha


----------



## ZombieQueen

Ooh haha you went home with the teenager?


----------



## moomin_troll

ZombieQueen said:


> Ooh haha you went home with the teenager?

We cough.... DTD hahahaha
The 19 yr old I went on a date with


----------



## lemontree12

omg zombie the nice bloke would annoy me if he wrote all those messages that would bug me, def not funny lol. i bet you fancy the bloke from years ago, you must feel something as an adult or i know i wouldnt be able to message someone unless id feel something. are you going to take up those two blokes offers?

kim i love the purple, would love to go purple myself the light verson but my hair is much to talk to take it. haha love it, i also dtd nice bloke. i got alittle drunk and when he made the advance i had my drunk head rather than sensible head on. hes just as lovely as i thought he would be. so we are going to take things slowly :)

goodness J has turned out to be a right weirdo? is he still with that girl? x


----------



## ZombieQueen

Right?? I've told him a few times now to stick with one form of contact. I feel bad though, since he's so nice... This is why I prefer bad boys, they leave you hanging a lot but when they pay attention, it feels awesome. Haha. Definitely declined both offers, I'm way too absorbed in this guy from years ago to pay mind to anyone else.. Plus I'm not ready to DTD! But I'm soooo jealous you ladies are getting some! Haha. :blush:


----------



## lemontree12

the first time wasnt great, i felt weird, self conscience, and i did cry alittle after. but... saying that im so glad i got it over and done with. i guess it was alot of emotions build up for a whole 1.5yrs and how much had changed within that time. before the first the last time was when i concieved my little girl. now im nearly back to my old self.

reading that last message you are so into your old love :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Aww Aiko that's so sweet! 

I was scared to dtd again but for me it was totally fine, I felt comfortable with J and me and teenager are mates so last night kinda just happened lol still can't believe it. It's bound to happen again at some point :) 
This barman I've had my eye on is a bad boy. I so wana go there but then I know I shouldn't.

Yeah Js still with this girl as far as I no. But yes he was watching me for most of the night lol psycho! 

Wooo Louise I'm happy I'm nt the only one dtd in our group lol


----------



## lemontree12

i know, i went long enough without it, it is about time :)

he is so strange aint he lol... does his new girl no who you are?


----------



## moomin_troll

Strange isn't the word! He tweeted me askin "how's my fave boys doing?" .....Wtf lol
I duno, she probably knows who I am because he had a pic of me on his twitter lol but he wasn't out last night, or I just didn't see her.

I went just over 2 years without any "attention" lol so I'm certainly making up for it


----------



## ZombieQueen

J sounds like a giant flipping jar of nutty butter. What a weirdo!

You cried after? I'm probably gonna cry during. Urgh! I'm attracted to guys until I think "what if we got naughty?" Then I'm repulsed and have war flash backs (memories of the ex husband). I think I have PTSD. Post traumatic sex disorder. :dohh:

I wish I wasn't so absorbed in this old love, it feels so weird, but damn I can't help myself. I try to avoid his pictures. Those green eyes, why am I such a sucker for those eyes.. He's just has such a bad boy shell and is so lovely underneath. Lord help me.


----------



## daneuse27

moomin troll - J sounds like a real weirdo! staring all night is creepy.. i feel a little sorry for his current gf..

zombie queen - im very turned off by overbearing, clingy and insecure as well. :( poor boy. im sure he's nice, but that kind of behaviour just isn't very sexy. asked out twice this week, way to go! :thumbup: out of curiosity, was ellowyn with you when they asked?

im still emailing/texting away to the lad i met online but i guess there isn't much to say until we meet in person.
the "nice guy" in my life also lives overseas, and finds out in a few days whether or not hes getting a work permit for my country; in which case, hell come live near me for a year. so i'd be able to date him then and see where it goes. i feel a little guilty fishing online meanwhile he's been trying to move here (mostly just for me.) but i didnt know for sure when/if id see him again, and i still dont! i look forward to finding out soon though. ive gone back and forth between feeling attracted to him and not in the past, and i hope i can eventually just decide once and for all. for his sake, and my own.

PS. who's name is Aiko? thats a lovely name, its the same name as FOB's good friend :) i love it.


----------



## moomin_troll

Aiko is zombie queen :) 
Yeah J is a total weirdo! Haha teenager says he needs to smack J after the way he tried to treat me lol bless him!

I feel sorry for Js new gf, I made him feel less of a man so I'm guessing he's guna be extra dickish to her to prove his point.


----------



## moomin_troll

Hows everyone doing? 
My life's gone quiet apart from still talking to teenager, happy things haven't gone weird between us


----------



## daneuse27

Im still emailing/texting the one I met online, hes sounding really nice, so I may ask my mom to watch my daughter so that I can meet him in person soon.

Then theres still my friend, the man who lives overseas and trying to get a visa to come here (he finds out in a few days hopefully) and if it turns out hes coming, that may change a lot for me, because i think i want to try dating him and see where it goes.


----------



## moomin_troll

How exciting!!
The man ur messaging I'd say meet up with him. Even if nothing happens between u both, it's just nice getting out there and getting ur dating confidence.
Before J turned nuts we had 2 really great dates. I wana go on a date again :( lol


----------



## moomin_troll

Well I was tweeting this really funny guy on twitter obviously lol and got talking to this lad. We've been DMing since 6.30pm, it's now 12am lol
He's gorgeous and we get on so well. Shame he lives in Canada :(


----------



## daneuse27

I know I miss dating too!
hows it going with the teen, seeing him soon?


----------



## ZombieQueen

I just need to come in here to throw a temper tantrum regarding my ex husband who is literally dating a fucking psycho. I could scream. She's acting like a jealous 13 year old girl and he's defending her. I literally did nothing wrong, and I'm getting harassed by him and smug bullshit from her. Damn. And guess what the ex told me "I didn't send Ellowyn a Christmas present because I didn't want you to post a picture of it on Facebook and upset hannah(girlfriend)" wow. Way to be a fucking dick.


----------



## moomin_troll

Omg Aiko! He needs to step up or just get out of ur lives completely! Keep record of everything they both say to u incase u should ever need it!

As for teenager, we've been texting but haven't seen him :/


----------



## daneuse27

ZombieQueen said:


> I just need to come in here to throw a temper tantrum regarding my ex husband who is literally dating a fucking psycho. I could scream. She's acting like a jealous 13 year old girl and he's defending her. I literally did nothing wrong, and I'm getting harassed by him and smug bullshit from her. Damn. And guess what the ex told me "I didn't send Ellowyn a Christmas present because I didn't want you to post a picture of it on Facebook and upset hannah(girlfriend)" wow. Way to be a fucking dick.

Thats awful :nope:
Ellowyn should come first, not this psycho he's dating. 
I could never date a guy who wasnt sending a present to his baby's first christmas. Id find that so uncaring and cold of him and reflects what kind of a person he is.
Im sorry you have to put up with that. Hes a jerk and Ellowyn doesnt need him. She deserves better.


----------



## ZombieQueen

Seriously. If I was dating someone and he neglected his child, no matter how far, I'd dump his ass. I'd BUY the kid a gift myself, not pick a fight with the mom. I'm so annoyed. I filed for child support today.


----------



## daneuse27

Good for you!! Ellowyn deserves the financial support from him and he's obligated to pay it! Im glad.

FOB is refusing to pay me child support too. He has a million excuses why he can't pay and Im thinking I need to do the same thing. He shows an active interest in our daughter and is constantly asking me for favours, such as send him photos of her, send him videos, tell him everything thats going on, etc. But then he treats me like crap, and he's not emotionally OR financially supportive of me. Its really starting to get to me.


----------



## moomin_troll

Good on u! He needs to pay for his child! 
Drives me insane when men just walk away and think nothing of it.

Well I've got teenager trying to make me jealous lol he's goin on a date tonight....well I'm out with my mum and going to see this Aussie rugby player while he's working. Praying he's good looking hahaha


----------



## ZombieQueen

That's so wrong daneuse. I would definitely file, of course he has excuses, so does my ex! They obviously don't WANT to send us money. Dicks

I hate the jealous game, my first love just dropped the "I got sucked into going on a date with this girl I used to know" and it puts me off. Doesn't pull me in, makes me want to say see ya! But I'm just gonna stop flirting and stay friends..


----------



## daneuse27

I know what you mean, I hope yours goes through soon and he starts paying asap.

One of my FOBs reasons for not paying is that hes "trying to save" to move out (of his parents house) and have the life that he wants. What about me though? I live with my mom and I want to save to have my own place eventually too; but I look after LO fulltime and obviously cant work so why is it fair that he doesnt have to help at all? Im really angry at him, and the worst part is, whenver I bring it up, he just accuses me of being a gold digger. :dohh: and makes me feel like I shouldnt be asking.

Jealousy doesnt get very far with me either. I start backing off if a guy tries to make me jealous too early on.


----------



## ZombieQueen

That's the worst excuse.. He's living at home which means he can save and pay you! It's not like he has bills. I know my ex will definitely pay once he gets served, the military is pretty strict about it.

But yeah my first love is on his date.. Told me she asked him out, that he feels weird about it and that he hopes to hear from me tonight. I'm not jealous in the slightest, I guess I can thank my ex for helping break me of any jealous tendencies. I'm so emotionally exhausted from him that I can't be bothered with jealousy haha.


----------



## moomin_troll

Can't believe he's told u he's on a date! 
Well teenager was texting me while on his date and omg she's ugly hahaha
I walked into the club, he saw me and came straight over, I just said have fun and walked off.
I met the Aussie rugby player and he's gorgeous, swapped numbers.
I was a naughty girl. I've mentioned a hot bar man...I went home with him last night.
He's leaving the country in 3 weeks so I don't expect anything other then what I'm getting hahaha
He's a really nice lad and has given me a major confidence boost


----------



## daneuse27

Way to go moomin troll! :) Hope it was fun

Zombiequeen, thats ridiculous. If he felt so "weird" he wouldnt bother going - especially if it meant risking hurting your feelings. Hes obviously trying to test the water and see if he can get away with dating both of you, for an ego boost. Id just say to him "Oh, i didnt realize you would take her on a date if you felt so weird about it. Well have fun in the case, see you around." And then dont contact him again.


----------



## moomin_troll

U only go on a date with someone if you want to. 
What an ass!

Yes I did have fun lol
We both know this isn't going anywhere, so no expectations. He comes across so cocky and a jack the lad but he's actually really sweet. He's a singer and wants me to go watch him on Wednesday...I might do if a mate will come with me


----------



## ZombieQueen

Ooh naughty Kimberly! Haha you are a hot item! But the teenager sounds sweet.

As for my first love, he hasn't texted and its been well over 14 hours, so I guess the date went well! We don't live close so we couldn't date, I never thought we would, I don't mind him dating, it's just silly to tell me he's dating. It's just not needed information, you know? Ah well.


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah he really didn't need to tell u :( 
Teenager is sweet but today he's been texting me, again trying to make me jealous about his date. No idea why he's gone weird. 
The girl he went on a date with is disgusting, so god knows what he's going to catch hahaha


----------



## ZombieQueen

Yikes! I don't understand! I won't start a relationship if its based on jealousy! That's so petty...


----------



## moomin_troll

Teenager knows what I'm like and knows what I do and don't want. So why he's now gone weird I don't know!
My sister says I must release a poison when I have sex that turns lads into weirdos like a black widow before she eats them hahahaha

She may have a point :p


----------



## ZombieQueen

:rofl::rofl: poor men!

And I haven't heard a thing from first love, I'm a bit disappointed that he's disappeared, but I expected it. Best forget him now.


----------



## daneuse27

Well since you weren't giving in to jealousy as much as he hoped, he probably got bored. It sounds like he was after an ego boost and attention more than anything...


----------



## ZombieQueen

I suppose, he was probably just lonely and now has someone, so he's off.


----------



## moomin_troll

What a jackass! 

As for teenager, I've just had a happy Mother's Day text off him lol
Maybe hes realised I won't play his silly game


----------



## AbbynChloe

time to update on my progress.....

well last friday I was doing the walk of shame into work after a night out with my collegues. drank far far too much and looked and felt skanky (ended up spending the night at boss house - v v long story) 

Anyways as I am walking to gregs for a much needed bacon buttie, guess who stolls up? dude that stopped me for my number the week before. I was totally not in the mood and far too hungover to properly listen to excuses so I walked quickly to the office, he kept up.

He apologised, said he lost my number (insert eye-roll) and said he would be in touch. I didn't think much of it.

So Friday night I had a call from a random number, answered and yes it was dude from street.

we talked for about 10 minutes, not a brilliant conversation - i'll admit I was already off him by this point.

Anyways we spent friday night and yesterday texting, nothing exciting, just normal everyday crap.

Ok at this point i'll admit I am totally naive when it comes to boys - I have only been with 1 dude and look how that turned out.

last night he asked me to text a picture - i was thinking "surely he can't have forgotten what I look like

Thankfully my crapberry doest accept picture messages or allows me to send them - i've been far far too lazy to set my multimedia messages.

then he text me "did you get mine?" I was seriously confused by this stage. then he called....

well then i (not so quickly) cottoned on that he was wanting pics of me _nekked_

ewwwwww, i am so not that kinda girl! esp if we've been talking for less than 24hrs - i mean seriously!!!

well i've locked that one off!!

how the hell am I going to get my 3 dates this year??


----------



## moomin_troll

Hahahaha!
U will get ur dates, lets just hope the next guy doesn't expect pictures before he's even bought u a meal :-0 lol


----------



## AbbynChloe

hahaha for real - although let me drop 3st and run a couple of marathons before I even consider a nekked picture!!!

I mean seriously is the norm these days???


----------



## moomin_troll

I've been asked to send underwear pics :blushes: 
But yeah pics are the norm now it would seem lol crazy


----------



## AbbynChloe

really??

did u send them??

Maybe if I felt more comfortable in my skin and I was in relationship i'd send?? i don't know really??

am I a massive prude??


----------



## moomin_troll

It not a prude! 
I hate my body, but it's amazing what good underwear and lighting will do ;) hahahaha 
I did send the odd picture hahaha slag allert!


----------



## AbbynChloe

not at all slagaleart!!

i just need to be a little more open minded..... and a little lighter/toned!!


----------



## moomin_troll

I need to get toned...if I wasn't so lazy and didn't love chocolate so much hahaha
Pics were mainly sent to J and he was kinda my boyfriend, even tho he was a total weirdo bless him


----------



## ZombieQueen

Hahahaha :rofl: oh the nekkid picture request. I hate those. And I hate guys who ask. I feel like it sucks the magic out of real life, like leaves little to the imagination... That and I'm a total fatty now! I recently found an old picture I took for my husband and wanted to cry. I would probably be coaxed into sending pictures if I lost some weight. Lol

Still no word from first love. /sigh. :shrug:


----------



## lemontree12

i hate those picture requests, im not the sort of girl to take photos of myself, more because i dont find myself attractive rather than i think they are wrong. the bloke im kinda seeing now, is so sweet, iv felt comfortable sending a no makeup shot :/ 
but yes dating has changed so much in 5years, i had one bloke message me his manly parts after the 2message... no shame! x


----------



## ZombieQueen

Hahaha! What do they expect by sending us those pictures? Like "ohmahgoddddd! Look at his wiener, now I'm just smitten!"


----------



## lemontree12

i hate it. lol
this bloke i asked if he had facebook, his response was " sorry but its too soon" i thought fair enough, knew he had a kid etc. literally 2messages later i had his manly parts on my screen, clearly theres no time limit on getting his bits out. this is the same bloke who asked me what my body was like, before asking my name.

i really struggled with the dating thing, i feel like iv become old and not into the sort of things the men i attract are.


----------



## ZombieQueen

Wowwww. Those are some big red flags, he's a douche, a scummy douche. Avoid guys like that.


----------



## moomin_troll

Luckily I've never been sent dirty pics, and never been asked to send one...other then underwear haha
Still can't believe I sent them, I hate my stomach with a passion! 
Dating is crazy now, especially with picture messaging being so much easier now. 
I hate thinkin about my body before babies :( even my body after zane was better then mine now. So depressing and yet I don't have time or energy to get toned


----------



## lemontree12

i know, its not just my tummy, its my whole body, it feels like it aged over night. so untoned :(


----------



## ZombieQueen

And stretch marks galore! Ugh. I hate how high quality phone pictures are now...

And first love just texted me apologizing for a late reply, that his date lasted 3 days.... Wtf am I supposed to even say to that. I'd have preferred "sorry I didn't reply, I was kicking kittens" :dohh:


----------



## moomin_troll

Omg! I can't believe he's said that to you. 
It's not like u needed to know this (he's probably lying) what an absolute jerk


----------



## Shezza84uk

Its taken me 2 days to catch up with this thread lol you have all been busy women I am so jealous.. I have been covered in dust from decorating, been kept busy trying to get head lice out of my daughter hair and extremely exhausted from a clingy baby lol nothing exciting happening my way at all.. 

Lemon tree you so need to tell us more about your new guy! Moomin troll, I think teenager is trying to make you think if you dont act now you will lose his goodies to the new "date" men eh! why not say what you mean and mean what you say.. 

ZombieQueen.. You first love seems to be on a weird tangent, I agree with you on locking him off for now because you might find although you are mentally prepared after past experience it can easily send you into feeling down about it, the way I see it is if they are not contributing to your recovery there is simply no point.

Abby.. Men these days think its ok to ask for naked pics, I find it insulting when asked because it just makes me feel they are just interested in sex and want to use me. That is like an immediate turn off especially if you haven't decided to date! I wish dating was the same as years ago, you go out for dinner and a movie and eventually decide if you want to progress further. 

Daneuse, The guy your messaging sounds nice, have you decided to meet? 


I must be the only one with no action lol FOB came to see the kids and bought me chocolates and a card for Mothers day, I avoided him like the plague which makes me feel more comfortable. At least we can be civil I guess.. XX


----------



## ZombieQueen

I don't know if he's lying, but what's he want to get out of telling me? Trying to get a rise outta me? Not gonna happen.


----------



## Shezza84uk

ZombieQueen said:


> I don't know if he's lying, but what's he want to get out of telling me? Trying to get a rise outta me? Not gonna happen.

Its weird isn't it? It leaves you wondering if he wants you but want to make you jealous or if hes' genuinely seeing you as just friends and tells you thinking its no big deal:dohh:

Men can be so confusing :wacko:


----------



## ZombieQueen

Exactly! God I'm so confused. I don't care if we are just friends, it'd just be nice to clarify.. Men...


----------



## daneuse27

shezza84uk - I guess that was nice of FOB, although I dont know the whole story...Im glad things are civil at least!

zombiequeen - I still think this guy was trying to get a reaction out of you, for the attention, and therefore feeding his insecure ego. He sounds immature..

moomintroll - I hear ya about pre-baby body :( Ive only had one but I carried her VERY far out, the photo that i uploaded to facebook 3 days before she was born actually shocked people. Im using cocoa butter though, its really helped with the marks? Not sure if Ill ever be toned again though... I might do a smoothie diet weightloss program again. I did it years ago, it worked really well. Its probably the only thing I have time to do now!

lemontree - wow! To me it really sounds like this guy may have been lying to you about something. Sex was obviously high on his priority list and he wanted to get there as soon as possible, but he didn't want you apart of his personal life on facebook.. maybe he's dating others, has a girlfriend/wife, etc? It just sounds fishy!

I was going through some drama with FOB and his family this weekend, so it took me 3 days to answer that guy's last email, I just sent it now. Hopefully I hear back from him. We've added eachother to facebook and looks-wise, he's nothing special. He has the nerdy look just like FOB does which freaks me out slightly, but his personality seems so much different so Im trying to see past that.

The more I talk to him, the more I feel like Im leading on that other guy.. the closest friend of mine who lives overseas and is trying to get a visa here. He finds out in a few days! Im still not sure where I stand with him romantically because Ive lacked physical attraction to him in the past :( ..


----------



## moomin_troll

Teenager was texting me none stop yesterday. Telling me if he had to choose me or this girl, he'd choose me. And then when barman leaves in 3 weeks I should go back to him.....hahaha no lol
I said its not about who's first choice, we are good mates, both young free and single and it's about time I started to have some fun.
The barman is gorgeous, it's a shame he's leaving or that I just didn't talk to him sooner. But oh well. 
He's a singer so going to watch him on wednesday.


----------



## Shezza84uk

Lol at least teenager is now telling you what he has on his mind, enjoy the bar man until he goes lol x


----------



## moomin_troll

Teenagers now gone back to friend mode, which is fine with me lol he is a really lovely lad and I know if I need someone to talk to, I can go to him. 
I can't wait to see the barman, which I wasn't expecting and seen as he's leaving soon is dangerous lol

Last night I found out one of my male friends who is coming to my sisters wedding in Cyprus is actually friends with R (barman) and staying in napa with him for the week. 
Small world.
Something really weird happened last night tho. I got a text off a number I don't know. Turns out it was Ben, the lad I met on my night out in manchester.
Got texting and he wanted to meet me tonight for a date, I said yes. Then he said we could meet half way between me and him. So I said well I can't at this short notice because I have kids.

He then went quiet, but did text me back and then the weird message......
"I'm actually looking forward to having sex with you more now I know Uve got kids" 
My response was "wtf?" 

Wow not only did he bring up sex this early but to say that! I'm now ignoring him


----------



## lemontree12

WTF seriously WTF kind of message is that....
im shocked. speachless... :dohh::dohh:


----------



## daneuse27

Thats so strange... glad youre staying far away


----------



## moomin_troll

My next response to him was I'm speechless! I couldn't believe it, because it wasn't even a joke. 
Even R doesn't talk to me like that and I just randomly had sex with him lol
But yes I am staying well away from that lad hahaha


----------



## lemontree12

i def wouldnt be meeting up with that one lol
plenty more fish xx


----------



## moomin_troll

I think he got ur hint by me not texting him last night lol 
I'm still in shock haha


----------



## AbbynChloe

LOOOOOOL

i am really really surprised - i am glad i didnt get a cock shot!! ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww


----------



## ZombieQueen

What?!?!? Thats creepy... Mom fetish? I have no idea why a person would say that....


----------



## daneuse27

I've heard of pregnant fetishes, and cougar fetishes, but not just for moms in general.. it is weird.


----------



## moomin_troll

The joys of texting strangers lol 
The Aussie rugby player hasn't text me yet, so funny that teenager knows him!
I'm waiting for this dating crap to get fun again lol


----------



## AbbynChloe

maddness - ignore my last post i was confused and replied to a few pages earlier!

men are just so Brazen these days

i want a good ol' fashioned courtship......


----------



## moomin_troll

J was the old fashioned dating type, but that was ruined by him being a weirdo hahaha god I don't half attract them!


----------



## lemontree12

T the nice lad, messaged me yesterday to see if we could spend a fw days together next week, he lives alittle out so dont get to see him so much and hes been just coming and stopping the night. what you girls think? i think it might be a good idea.


----------



## moomin_troll

Would this be afew days stayin at ur house or going away somewhere? 
I can't really say much seen as J was round my house every night since we started dating lol


----------



## lemontree12

staying at mine. i dont no, i guess im used to V having my full attention i cant imagine juggling entertaining him and entertaining V
who nows


----------



## moomin_troll

I couldn't of had J round mine all day and night when my boys were there. To me that would of felt weird. But my boys are older, V won't really care lol
Do what feels right!
Well barman canceled his gig tonight :( so didn't get to see him. Went the pub for abit with my mate n her fella. Who was there? J lol soon as I walked in he stared at me. 
Then he sat in the booth behind us :/ awkward haha


----------



## lemontree12

yea i might try do things out of the house. 
what barman was in the booth behind? did he speak to you?


----------



## moomin_troll

No J was in the booth behind lol
Not sure when ile see barman again :( he's gorgeous, I want him hahaha 
If I knew he was interested too I'd of made a move months ago, but now he's off to napa I don't wana get attached


----------



## ZombieQueen

No, crazy j was there. Being crazy. Haha. He didn't say anything to you?? Why's he so nuts?


----------



## moomin_troll

He didn't say anything just kept looking at me so my mate made it her mission to give him the worst evils I have ever seen! Hahaha 
He's like a bad penny, shows up when I don't want him to!


----------



## ZombieQueen

Deleted


----------



## moomin_troll

It's funny how J always turns up lol
Omg what a bitch! Block her on Facebook. 
Can't believe ur ex is telling u all that. He's obviously expecting u to fall all over him and give him all the attention he wants


----------



## ZombieQueen

Deleted


----------



## moomin_troll

At first I thought J was going to turn into a weird stalker lol but I just think it's a case of living in a small town and it's a popular bar to go in.

So happy your going out for your 21st! Are you doing anything special?


----------



## lemontree12

Its like Js following you lol, hes everywhere.

oooh my goodness what a horrible bitch, although i think shes pulling at straws, sounds to me shes not so confident about you so she trys push you away. if her relationshipwas so perfect she wouldnt need to tell you and try bully you stay away. does you ex see your little girl?


----------



## moomin_troll

I think I've lost my mind! 
I was supposed to go out with a mate tonight but she canceled. 
The teenager says he will go out with me, I said yes. Now I'm thinking oh god lol


----------



## moomin_troll

Had a really good night. I'm now feeling it after 3 hours sleep and 2 loud boys :(


----------



## ZombieQueen

Oooh!! Details?


----------



## moomin_troll

we had quiet afew drinks lol kissed quiet abit haha 
Although I think he told me he loves me...not sure if it was a joke or not tho because he's said it jokingly before. 
It's freaked me out abit, but I do quiet like him....nooooo he's a teenager


----------



## moomin_troll

Thankfully the "I love u" from teenager was a joke hahaha
He came round mine last night, and we ended up dtd...sober sex :wacko: hahaha
Can't believe myself, I never thought I could act this when, let alone after having 2 kids


----------



## jaytee146

Ok Question....I am dating a guy (childhood crush) :blush: he is a single parent :) and totally understands the time issues I have. So anywho... yesterday he came for a visit, to my mom's... I haven't invited him over to my home yet, we were talking and he kissed me. Lo was outside and before I knew it he was holding my hand hugging me, and we kissed again... my 17 month old who's never seen me kiss another guy was looking like :shock: mom??? :haha: so my question is should I not kiss him while lo is around? I don't want to send the wrong message?


----------



## moomin_troll

I kissed a lad J, I was seein in front of Corey and he's 18 months old. He really wasn't bothered.
But I did feel weird. Do what feels right, and if that didn't feel right then tell him x


----------



## ZombieQueen

Deleted


----------



## moomin_troll

Luckily the lads I've been with have been understanding that I'm self conscious. It's very easy to keep the bits u don't like covered up haha

Sober frisky time was good haha didn't think I'd ever dtd with teenager sober lol but he came round, so I thought why not.
I'm being safe, not hurting anyone so yeah hahaha
I've surprised myself


----------



## moomin_troll

Hello ladies :D how's everyone?


----------



## moomin_troll

It's gone so quiet in here!
I've been partying way too much and done afew things I really shouldn't of :wacko: 
Time for this mummy to calm down abit lol


----------



## daneuse27

It sure has been quiet! I wish my dating life could be a little mor exciting but there isnt much to tell Im afraid.. lol

I did finally go on a date with the guy from online though. When I first saw him approaching, I thought 'nooooo' (he was definitely much LESS good looking than the photos I've seen!) but once he sat down, I felt instantly at ease; he was very nice and we had a nice chat. 

After the date, he sent me a text saying "It was great to finally meet you. :) Have a great Easter visit with your family!" A few hours later, I got back to him and wished him a happy easter as well.

Haven't heard from him since though, so not sure what that means. I felt the text indicated he liked me and was interested, but I guess since he hasn't said anything since, maybe he's not too crazy about me? Who knows. I don't find myself caring too much. He was nice, but Im not overly anxious about whether I hear from him or not. So we'll see.


----------



## moomin_troll

Some men are terrible at texting! If ur not bothered tho I'd say wait and see. 
Great u finally got out their tho and date!


----------



## ravenmel

Can anyone recommend any tried and tested dating sites for mummies? 

I've signed up to Match.com and Eharmony, but they seem rubbish the men don't have children and all want single party girls. I found one site called dating for parents, but it doesn't seem to have many members. On this site there's a selection where it makes you lists a bunch of things, like how loving you are or how faithful you consider yourself, you mark yourself out of 100. It amazes me that most of the men put things like 20% faithful and then they state they're looking for a serious relationship?
Help


----------



## daneuse27

ravenmel said:


> Can anyone recommend any tried and tested dating sites for mummies?
> 
> I've signed up to Match.com and Eharmony, but they seem rubbish the men don't have children and all want single party girls. I found one site called dating for parents, but it doesn't seem to have many members. On this site there's a selection where it makes you lists a bunch of things, like how loving you are or how faithful you consider yourself, you mark yourself out of 100. It amazes me that most of the men put things like 20% faithful and then they state they're looking for a serious relationship?
> Help

May I ask what age you are, and what age range you've been looking in? I'm 26 and tend to look for men my age or older, up to 35 and I found lots of them with children, or who weren't bothered by children..


----------



## moomin_troll

I'm 25 and seem to be attracting children hahaha 
Me having babies haven't bothered any of them


----------



## moomin_troll

I've hit a problem :/ 
Well me and teenager have become really close friends aswel as regular "casual" sex 
It was abit of fun, neither of us interested in anything else. 5 yr age gap plus I've got kids and I wouldn't put that on someone so young.
Saturday I kissed one of my bils mates, teenager said wow I'm slightly jealous and I kinda liked the fact he was jealous.
He came round last night (he's having family problems so I said come round, get away from it n we can chill out)
We ended up dtd which wasn't a surprise lol but crap!
Think we've both started to like each other abit more then we should.
I don't know what to do.
I don't want to lose him as a friend :/


----------



## ravenmel

daneuse27 said:


> ravenmel said:
> 
> 
> Can anyone recommend any tried and tested dating sites for mummies?
> 
> I've signed up to Match.com and Eharmony, but they seem rubbish the men don't have children and all want single party girls. I found one site called dating for parents, but it doesn't seem to have many members. On this site there's a selection where it makes you lists a bunch of things, like how loving you are or how faithful you consider yourself, you mark yourself out of 100. It amazes me that most of the men put things like 20% faithful and then they state they're looking for a serious relationship?
> Help
> 
> May I ask what age you are, and what age range you've been looking in? I'm 26 and tend to look for men my age or older, up to 35 and I found lots of them with children, or who weren't bothered by children..Click to expand...


I'm newly 30 I tend to like older men, late 30s early 40s. A lot of the men don't have kids. I've just signed up to eharmony, thought I'd give it a go. A lot of questions which should get at least a few nice dates if not a match.


----------



## daneuse27

Moomin troll - Im not clear on what DTD means, is it "do the deed?" If so.. if you guys were already having casual sex, then I dont think doing it on that night would make such a difference. He probably enjoyed. Although I agree that once you sleep with someone, there's no turning back. 

Ravenmel - Most men I've come across aren't bothered at all that I have a child. So im sure there are loads out there who dont care. Id say keep looking, or try other dating sites. They're out there.

My guy just emailed me, and wants to see me again. Suggested sushi. I suppose I'll try to do it sometime, but its hard because I have to ask my mom to babysit again and Im one of those people who hates asking for favours. :/ We'll see..


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah dtd is sex lol 
We met up today and yeah he's got feelings for me, it felt like a break up! It hit me that I like him more then just friends.
So we've agreed to stop the physical side of things before we really ruin our friendship


----------



## moomin_troll

Daneuse I think u should go on this date. I'm sure ur mum won't mind babysitting


----------



## daneuse27

moomin_troll said:


> Daneuse I think u should go on this date. I'm sure ur mum won't mind babysitting

I guess I dont know how shed feel about me dating, you know? Im going through lots of drama with FOB, planning on going back to school and have a 7 month old baby. She might think that me dating now is too soon or ridiculous.

For the last date, I lied and said I was doing something else. Maybe I should do that again :shrug:

Im sure things can go back to normal after sex if you both want it to and are on the same page. I have a few guy friends Ive DTD with in the past and we're truly just friends now.


----------



## moomin_troll

We are meeting up tonight, so we shall see. But his feelings seem to be pretty strong, so don't think we can go back and we can't start being together because we aren't right for each other. 

Don't hide the fact ur dating! Ur doing nothing wrong and it's not her place to have an opinion. But lie if u feel the need lol
My mum loves the fact I'm getting out there and dating again.
Well I say dating, the last few times I've gone out I've been a bit of a slag hahaha
Freedom got to my head lol


----------



## Shezza84uk

Hey ladies, I am still single and actually love it lol I might become a cat lady haha! Moomin_Troll is it because of the age gap you feel he is not right? or is the chemistry off as well? 

I haven't been on much because I have forgotten my password so cant log on from my iphone lol


----------



## moomin_troll

The age gap was a concern but no he's really mature for his age.
Even tho it shouldn't matter now it does because we both know each other so well.
I don't want anymore kids, I've had that life. He wants to settle down and have a family. So we would have to end if anything started.
He ended back at mine last night and had sex again :/ lol
But this morning he's said the feelings are too strong and he doesn't want to hurt me or get her himself so it's best to stop it now. 
Although this has effected our friendship, we are going to keep our distance for awhile


----------



## LunaBean

I have my 1st ever date 2mro,eek! Ive only ever had girlfriends,never been on a proper date! just going to the cinema while my sis has LO.


----------



## moomin_troll

I never dated before I started this thread. 
It's so much fun, have a great time, and don't forget to come back and tell us all about it haha


----------



## lemontree12

hey girls, just thougt id pop in see how everyone is?


----------



## moomin_troll

My life's been pretty quiet dating wise :/ 
Although afew weeks ago I bumped into the lad I started this thread about. 
We got talking and he told me how much he regretted cancelling our date, he had no money n was embarrassed n then over thought the fact I was a widow. The more we talked the more he kept saying how he regretted his choice.
We ended up kissing....he had a gf, i blame the fact i was wasted, ive never been that type of girl lol but have now split up.
J randomly sent me a friend request on fb, so I accepted lol let the freak stalk me for abit


----------



## Breezybaby80

Hey ladies! Just been reading this thread and found it really gripping listening to everyone's stories lol. I've not had my baby yet I'm only 4 months gone but I'm going to be a single mum so it's good that this thread is here for when I've had the baby and feel ready to start dating which I doubt will be for a very long time lol x


----------



## moomin_troll

I'm so happy this thread has gone so well and is an entertaining read hahaha
It's difficult dating while being a mum, so I love having other mummies here for support and advise, or just someone to gossip with lol


----------



## Breezybaby80

moomin_troll said:


> I'm so happy this thread has gone so well and is an entertaining read hahaha
> It's difficult dating while being a mum, so I love having other mummies here for support and advise, or just someone to gossip with lol

I think I read the whole thread last night, I was gripped like reading a book I wanted to see what happened next! Haha


----------



## lemontree12

oh no kim, J just cant hlp himself can he? 

well since iv last updated, the nice boy actually turned out to be a complusive weirdo lair. i swear i need to listen to myself more often lol. intution is the best thing. so he is binned off, 

iv since meet this really nice bloke we have had 4dates in total. the first 3 we went bowling drinks, cinema walks dinner etc, then the 4th he came to my house for drinks, so you can prob guess what happened. so who knows whats going to happen. :)


----------



## moomin_troll

J is crazy bless him!
"Drinks round mine" or "let's watch a DVD" always mean one thing hahaha 
I want to date :( last few lads I've had anything to do with has just been abit of fun.
I keep attracting young lads tho, that's my problem


----------



## Shezza84uk

Hey ladies, as always I am the dullest of all lol I have no dates however I did join eharmony and a guy from there wants to meet me, he wants kids and I don't so I haven't agreed to a date. Sooooo I stalked J just now lol dont he have the gay look to you?? lol

Lemontree you have found a gentleman, you deseve to be happy I hope it works out! :) 

Aside from this I am moving house in 3 weeks, my family are unhappy with me because I've just spent 3000 decorating and now moving into an undecorated flat which sucks but I got an offer of a 3 bedroom exchange for my 2bedroom, they are new build properties in the same building although this is now open plan which I hate.. I am thinking future and never having to move again as my tenancy is secured what would you all have done?

Hope you are all well xxx


----------



## moomin_troll

Hahaha yeah, J has got the creepy, gay look about him lol
I'd move if I was you.
Yes that's alot to spend on decorating to then move, but ur future is far more important


----------



## Shezza84uk

moomin_troll said:


> Hahaha yeah, J has got the creepy, gay look about him lol
> I'd move if I was you.
> Yes that's alot to spend on decorating to then move, but ur future is far more important

Very true, I cant wait to just get it over and done now but I have to wait for the safety inspections etc then hopefully it should be all good to go.


----------



## moomin_troll

Hope it all goes quick and smoothly for u! :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Next week I'm going Cyprus for my sisters wedding. And when I get back I have a date!!!!!
Sat in a pub last night with my mate n her fella. A lad on the next table who was gorgeous comments on my mates tattoos, we say hello n he then sat back down.
Came up to me and said "I'm crap at this, but can I take u out for a drink?" I said yes and we swapped numbers.
I haven't asked his age yet as we haven't had a massive text convo. 
But he spent 6 yrs in the army, so must be around my age.
He's cute, got a beard, covered in tattoos and a lip piercing. Just my type! So excited

Edit: just found out P is 22 haha why can't I get a date with an older man lol


----------



## moomin_troll

Well ladies I think this could lead to something serious.
P came round mine last night after work because he said he didn't want to wait 2 weeks to see me.
We get on so well and have got a date on Thursday :)


----------



## Shezza84uk

moomin_troll said:


> Well ladies I think this could lead to something serious.
> P came round mine last night after work because he said he didn't want to wait 2 weeks to see me.
> We get on so well and have got a date on Thursday :)


Yayy I hope he doesn't turn out to be a weirdo I think these toy boys smell cougar on you LOL:haha: but if you like him and things are great go be happy woman, you deserve it xx


----------



## moomin_troll

Smell the cougar! hahahha
He said i dont look 25 at all n he thought i was younger then him lol
He doesn't seem or look his age. He's been threw alot with bein in the army and afghan, and right now doesn't seem like a weirdo!!!!
He's really keen on me, it's weird because I normally go for weirdos haha 
I'm waiting for something to go very wrong


----------



## moomin_troll

I'm officially seeing P :D 
We spent the whole day and night together. 
It went by so fast and we didn't stop talking.
He makes me smile, I really like him and he really likes me too. 
This is crazy lol only know him a week lol


----------



## Shezza84uk

moomin_troll said:


> I'm officially seeing P :D
> We spent the whole day and night together.
> It went by so fast and we didn't stop talking.
> He makes me smile, I really like him and he really likes me too.
> This is crazy lol only know him a week lol

I'm so happy for you, I hope it works out and be your happy ending for you and the boys xx


----------



## babycrazy1706

Joining this thread :flower:


----------



## babycrazy1706

moomin_troll said:


> I'm officially seeing P :D
> We spent the whole day and night together.
> It went by so fast and we didn't stop talking.
> He makes me smile, I really like him and he really likes me too.
> This is crazy lol only know him a week lol

Yey! :happydance:


----------



## ~RedLily~

Hello ladies. Moomin that's great, I'm really happy for you :)
I joined in for a little bit but dropped out when I was getting no where and well I am still no where :lol:. I don't know what is wrong with me I go out every so often but obviously have a do not approach vibe :haha: I had one guy interested in me last night but he was not my type at all and just made me feel very uncomfortable.


----------



## babycrazy1706

someone will come along at the right time hun :hugs:


----------



## moomin_troll

Hello ladies, I'm on holiday in Cyprus but needed some bnb time lol
Been texting P the whole time I've been here. I have a feelin soon as I'm back he's goin to officially ask me out...ile have a bf lol god I hope he's not crazy like the others :/


----------



## babycrazy1706

awww yey! :happydance:

enjoy your hol :) Xx


----------



## moomin_troll

Thanks I did and welcome to the group :D best place on bnb lol
Well met up with p yesterday 1pm and we are still together lol he officially asked me to be his girlfriend yesterday.
I said yes :D this is crazy lol


----------



## babycrazy1706

love is in the air! :haha:

happy for you :flower: Xx


----------



## moomin_troll

Thanks babycrazy.
Even tho I like him and want this, I am still holding back. 
He's been with a girl who had a child before so he understood about not meeting the boys for awhile....until zane caught him in my room haha so they met for abit, bt only as mummy's friend


----------



## moomin_troll

Hey ladies :D how is everyone?


----------



## Shezza84uk

moomin_troll said:


> Hey ladies :D how is everyone?

I am great, How are you I see from your updates all are well with your new guy!! XX


----------



## moomin_troll

Things are going great :) 
Practically seen him everyday for the past 3 weeks lol


----------



## MommaAlexis

Sigh. I'm hoping in this thread. I hate dating. Sitting alone on a Friday waiting for a text back.... YUCK.


----------



## moomin_troll

Hi momma alexis. Welcome to the group :) 
Yup dating is crap at times and waiting for a txt is depressing..met my fair share of weirdos since gettin bk out there.
But parts have been fun lol


----------



## jessicaR4bbit

I won't be dating for a long while I reckon. Only recently broken up with FOB and due to start uni in Sepember full time, plus a demanding baby. I have a lot to work on myself as well (losing weight and making new friends because I literally have one who is moving away lol). 

So instead I'll live vicariously through you guys :D


----------



## moomin_troll

Hahaha welcome :D 
It used to be a lot more lively in here, gone abit quiet recently. 
Hopefully it perks up for ur entertainment hahaha


----------



## MommaAlexis

Mine just came over to tell me she's too busy with work / school to keep it going. Fair enough cause I go back in a month and would have had to then.


----------



## moomin_troll

That sucks :( things can still work out with busy schedules. 
But onwards and upwards


----------



## Mummy1995

I feel like I'll never meet someone again lol :( x


----------



## jessicaR4bbit

Yep, me too. And if I do meet someone they'll just be a disappointment anyway lol. Yay for optimism! 

I might try casual dating once LO is a year old so in a few months. Could use some tips from experienced single mums because I haven't been on a date in nearly 2 years. Probably lost my game by now.

I'm also really self-concious about my tummy and section scar :/


----------



## moomin_troll

I was really self conscious about my body after having two kids and being alone for 2 yrs. 
I was terrified of dating and beyond scared about sex. 
Afew mistakes larer over the past few months and I've come to realise men really don't care lol they don't see the stretch marks and the not so perk bum.
They really are simple minded creatures.

After losing my husband and having 2 boys I didn't think I'd want to or find anyone who could make me close to how happy I once was. 
But I have, he's so understanding about my previous life and the fact I have kids hasn't bothered him at all.
So there are still good men out there....somewhere lol


----------



## daneuse27

Hey all, sorry its been a while since ive posted.
Im glad you're happy moomin troll :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Wow daneuse.
Hope it all work out for u, it may seem fast from the outside looking in, but it's ur life and u know what u want from the sounds of it.

Keep us all up to date lol


----------



## Louiseandbump

This thread has had me giggling away! 

Glad im not the only one finding the dating game confusing and attracting total weirdos! 

Hope its going well for all you ladies! :flower:

Love to read some updates as my love life is currently rather none existent :blush:


----------



## moomin_troll

Hahaha nope ur not alone in attracting weirdos! 
Dating can be so much fun, so even tho I've met a great man I'm missing that side of being single lol
I've only been with P about 5 weeks but it feels so much longer.
Can't believe how far I've come in 7 months of dating lol


----------



## Louiseandbump

Ah at least youve met a nice guy now though :) 

Was anyone else scared to date? 

I was with FOB from when i was 19, at 24 now it seems so much scarier! 

Ive been asked out but im always making up excuses not to go becuase it scares me!


----------



## moomin_troll

I think it's a lot more scary now cuz we've seen the bad side of relationships and the fact we have children to think about.

Yeah I have met a great guy now bless him. The boys like him, Pete is crazy about them. 
Life seems to be going good :)


----------



## Louiseandbump

Yeah, it just seems such a bigger deal to even go for a drink or anything now. Im terrified people will think im awful if i start seeing someone. 

Ive been asked on a date for this thursday by a guy ive known for years who i was seeing a little bit before FOB. I have said yes but im sure ill find a reason not to make it! :dohh:

At least you are proof that it can be done and there are nice guys around :flower:


----------



## moomin_troll

I hope u do go. F what people might think lol we aren't just mums, we are still women who want private lives aswel as being a mummy. 
There are great guys out there.
I think Pete was comfortable with me having boys because he has a step dad who he sees as his dad. 
He's been there since Pete was 5.


----------



## F0xybabe

I read this while thread last night and today! It's like a good book :p like a previous poster said ill just live vicariously through you guys


----------



## moomin_troll

I'm glad it's a good read lol


----------



## Louiseandbump

moomin_troll said:


> I hope u do go. F what people might think lol we aren't just mums, we are still women who want private lives aswel as being a mummy.
> There are great guys out there.
> I think Pete was comfortable with me having boys because he has a step dad who he sees as his dad.
> He's been there since Pete was 5.

Well its tonight and i am gonna go. I am so bloody nervous though. 
Were only going for a drink, why am i so nervous?! :wacko:

thats nice that he knows first hand that someone who isnt a biological father can still eventually turn out to be a positive part of a childs life then, how lovely. :flower:

Wish me luck!! :thumbup:


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah I think because he's grew up with a step dad is the reason he's been so excepting of me having children. 
Also his mum knows what it's like to be a young single mum which makes things easier lol

Wooo good luck! It's so nerve wracking going on a date.
My first date was with my window cleaner, so I was just happy he could see me lookin nice for once


----------



## bbkf

Well I just had a flirt with the guy that rung me about my debt! Thats about as exciting as my love lifes gunna be for a while!


----------



## moomin_troll

bbkf said:


> Well I just had a flirt with the guy that rung me about my debt! Thats about as exciting as my love lifes gunna be for a while!

Hahahahaha 
Can't beat a good flirt


----------



## Louiseandbump

I went!! :happydance:

It was fun, forgot how it felt to sit and talk and laugh with a man like that. 
Had a really nice night, and the nerves went after we had been chatting for 10 

May have had a bit of a snogging session in his car when he dropped me off like a pair of 16 year olds haha :blush:

Not sure whats going to come of it, weve said we want to go out again. 
But either way, im glad ive done the first date thing now! 

Not half as scary as it seems girls :flower:


----------



## Mummy1995

I've met a nice guy recently :) we've been getting fairly close and he's met Isabella twice. He's really lovely and supportive and loves Isabella! She loves him too :D if I'm honest I don't think we would get into a relationship with each other but it's just lovely to have a guy around who's so nice and restores some faith for.me in the male population lol xx


----------



## Louiseandbump

Mummy1995 thats how im feeling, i dont know if its going to go anywhere yet, but to spend some time with a guy who is nice and genuine is so refreshing. Proves there are good guys out there :)


----------



## Mummy1995

Aww yeah it is nice! :) he came over last week with some friends of mine and he did a bbq for us :) then he stayed over and we just sat chatting and watching films :) x


----------



## moomin_troll

So happy ur date went well. 
I've done abit of snogging in the car after being dropped off, and like a teenager my mum walked out of my house and caught us hahahaha

Hope he asks u out again. Dating is so much fun, I never dated Pete before we officially got together lol


----------



## Louiseandbump

Haha your mom catching you is hilarous, i kept saying my parents are in there i need to go in, then ending up smooching away again after lol

I forgot about the next bit though, waiting to hear! 

He text me when he got home and once today but then never texted back! haha

Im all wanting to hear off him and jumping for my phone! 

Doesnt help that he is stupidly gorgeous and probably a little out of my league :blush:

But we shall see ladies, not getting my hopes up. 

That sounds lovely, i cant wait to be able to do that and meet someone i want to have around lilly, cuddling up and watching films, bbqs in the garden, i miss all that! Wish you all the best, keep us posted :flower:


----------



## moomin_troll

Or u could ask him out Louise lol
Waiting to hear is the worst! 
Mummy1995, it's lovely when u find a Man u can do things like that with


----------



## Louiseandbump

Haha he has just text me now! 

'hey you ok? xx' 
men are so deep arent they? :haha:

Suppose the waiting game and stuff is all part of the fun of it. 
Im not really confident enough to ask a guy out :blush:


----------



## moomin_troll

Fake confidence and it will come lol that's what I do anyway.
The butterflies when ur phone goes off just at te thought is him texting is fun. 
I see Pete everyday, so can't say I get that anymore hahaha
Enjoy the txting and I hope he asks u out


----------



## bbkf

Guys I need your expertise! I seriously wasnt expecting any kind of male attention for like years let alone a few weeks after me and FOB broke up but something weirdjust haphappened and im confused! 

So... FOB has this friend ill call him josh, so me and josh have always been quite friendly and chatted and had a few things in common ect he was the only one of FOBS mates that I could actually have a chat with ect. Now agesss ago I thought I was getting a little crush on him but I got over it as it was just silly hes like FOBs best mate.

So last night I was in bed and I ju kept thinking how the hell can FOBnot see his baby for weeks and not care it wad reallllllly bugging me so I thought right in the morning im gunna text josh and just see if he nos whats going on ect.

So convo went like this:

Me: hey have you seen FOB much lately? 

Josh: no not really why? 

Me: oh its just he hasnt seen baby in weeks I havnt herd from him.

Josh: oh really? Hes been a bit of a douchebag tbh hes changed you must be bored by yourself?

Me: yeah it sucks cos I haven't had any help with baby or anything not that I wanna hang out FOB tbh

Josh: who would you wanna hang out with? 

Me: anyone who isnt gunna puke or poop on me lol

Josh: you wanna do something for an hour but had to stay between me and you? .

Soo he came round mine for an hour we just chatted wasnt really flirty I dont think we talked about FOB and he said he had pretty much fallen out with him as he had done some shitty stuff. He said its weird being here when FOB isnt here and when he keft just kinda said well text me if your bored.

Im probably reading way to muxh into this but I havnt been single for about 5 years so I dunno if its just friendliness :/ what do you guys think?


----------



## moomin_troll

I'd stay away! 
He seems interested in only what he can get out of u seen as he's basically asked u to keep u seeing him a secret :/
U don't need a man like that in ur life or the drama with fob....unless u want abit of fun urself lol


----------



## bbkf

I thought the wholw secret thing was because he didny want his friends to think he's jumping in there with his best friends ex or whatever I didnt think of it like that! From what I no of him hes quite sensitive not like a player or whatever hes wanted a relationship for ages but never really had a serious one. 

I just don't really get why he wanted to see me he didnt really give much away if you get what I mean.


----------



## moomin_troll

I guess I instantly thought the worst because I was once asked to "keep it between us" by a total tool lol
But you know him best.
I duno for me it wouldn't be worth the hassle.


----------



## bbkf

Yeah I dont plan on anything happening tbh I was more confused of the purpose cos he literally had a chat then left he didn't really give me an idea of his intentions if you get me ha

Weird I dunno suppose ill see if he contacts me or anything


----------



## Louiseandbump

It's difficult to say, perhaps he is just trying to be a friend as FOB is being such an arse? Espcially if he wasnt flirty or hasnt asked for a date or anything more, maybe he was just interested to see how you are doing without FOB. 

If theyve fallen out it isnt really anything to do with FOB but i can understand the wanting to keep it low key thing tbh. 

But as moomin_troll said, do you really want the hassle? It could bring alot of drama for you and LO, that being said YOU know him not us. Has he contacted you at all since?


----------



## bbkf

Hmm I dont no I text him just saying thanks for coming round n he said that's alright its hard beingffriends with 2 people when they break up :/ 

I dunno wev always got along and I FOB hasnt contacted me at all since we broke up and he did something pretty bad to josh so I think thats the end of their friendship but I dunno! I suppose ill just have to see if he makes it more clear as to what hes after . Im definitely not gunna get u to anything to cause drama but I dont have any friends in this town so it would be nice to have one! 
Hm I dunno its a weird one the while things left me baffled lol


----------



## moomin_troll

If he wants to be just friends then that's great for u, he's a big boy and can make his own mind up. 
Just keep one eye open


----------



## Louiseandbump

I agree with moomin_troll just be cautious. 

Also, its probably good that if he fancies you that he hasnt really tried anything or said anything about it now, maybe hes being a gent as its still quite soon after your split from FOB? Men are strange creatures arent they. 

My date the other day was actually called Josh by the way! Lol


----------



## bbkf

Yeah im not gunna text him or anything and see if anything comes of it

Ha was the real josh any better than my "josh"?


----------



## Louiseandbump

bbkf said:


> Ha was the real josh any better than my "josh"?

haha i havent decided yet, i know he is a decent guy for sure. 
Just not sure if its gonna go anywhere yet. 

He is like out of this world gorgeous and it scares the crap out of me :dohh:

Anyway give yourself some time, never know what could happen your 'josh' could turn out to be a sweetheart but just cautious cos you are his mates ex. Never know what'll happen, just look after you and LO and dont let anyone mess you around :flower:


----------



## moomin_troll

Im such a bloke normaly when it comes to dating. ididn't want a relationship at all, just wanted to date and enjoy myself with goin out ect.
Fast forward 2 months and I'm still with Pete lol
So you really never know.
Louise from ur aviator u look stunning, so don't worry about him being hot.
I think Petes beyond hot but apparently I'm way out of his league....but that is my friends saying that hahaha


----------



## Louiseandbump

Aww thanks moomin_troll! :flower:

bbkf did you hear any more from 'josh' afterwards?

I had a second date with josh yesterday, he picked me up at 3pm and we got on the motorway and just randomly drove for an hour, ended up in stafford, walked all around the little town talking and had a drink in a quiet little old pub garden. 

Then back to birmingham and to the mailbox where we just sat by the canals had a couple of drinks and talked. Didnt get home til 1am, another heavy snogging session outside my moms house haha :blush:

Its really going well! :happydance:


----------



## moomin_troll

No way! I'm in Stafford lol 
I love dates like that, where u lose track of time and just talk and have fun.
Sounds like everything's going well :)


----------



## bbkf

He text me to tell me he felt bad so he told FOB he came round mine :/ FOB wernt majorly bothered havnt really spoke to him much tho.

FOB finally came to see LO and he started crying saying he loves me n shit n hugging me rrally upset me and has fucked with my head cos he doesnt actually wanna get back with m just made it feel like we were breaking up all over again:( I really dont wanna see him all the ttime cos it just upsets me but I have to :( 

Your date sounds great tho im glad you had a nice time!


----------



## Louiseandbump

Haha are you! What a coincidence! 

Im from Birmingham and hes from Kidderminster, so he already has to drive almost an hour to get to me. I do drive too, though id get lost driving anywhere out of birmingham! lol

But alls well so far! Hes only 22 and im 24 but he has a very grown up attitude towards me having a LO. 

Have a hot date tonight.. NOT! Meeting with FOB to talk about him actually bothering to see his child :dohh: that should be fun!


Bbkf - I remember days like that, when just seeing them makes your heart wrench. Then they start messing with your head. It really isnt nice, hugs to you hun! I can honestly say that 8 months down the line, after 4 years of not knowing where i stand i am so much happier without FOB and i was actually besotted with him :wacko: Give yourself time and tell him if hes coming to see you not to talk like that cos its really not fair on you!


----------



## bbkf

Yeah it really sucks cos I wasnt bothered until now cos I havnt seen him n was just pissed off!! I dunno its pretty shit atm :/ hrs coming round on Sunday to see LO n im dreading it cos itl probs end in tears either hating each other or one of us crying cos we love the other :(


----------



## moomin_troll

Oh bbkf that's horrible of him :( 
Maybe let him see lo threw a third party till ur ok to be around him?

Louise Petes 22 and I'm 25 hahaha nowt wrong with a younger man ;) I was seeing a 19 yr old not so long ago.....now that's bad.
What pub did u end up in? I was sat in a beer garden around that time lol


----------



## bbkf

Yeah id understand if he was tryna win me back or something but I didnt see the point of saying it all n then pissing off!!

I wish I could but my LO will absolutely freak if she cant see me and she wont even let her dad hold her shes so shy at the moment.

Thats the worst bit cos most people just do the hand over or whatever but he cant take her anywhere so he has to sit round mind for hours :/ hopefully when babys older he can just take her out Instead


----------



## moomin_troll

The only way she's going to get used to seeing him and not u is for u to start doing it. No one wants to hear or see their babies crying, but it will help her in the long run. And help u.


----------



## bbkf

Yeah thats true mayb I should just get him to take her out then so I dont have to see him :/


----------



## moomin_troll

He will get used to it, and probably won't be as bad as u think. How old is she?
I went through a bad stage with zane when he was 2 after his dad died. He wanted to be with me 24/7, I was worn out so my mum said she have him. He screamed the place down....needed up stayin for 5 days hahaha 
Sometimes u need to think about what's best for u, and being around him isn't that


----------



## Louiseandbump

moomin_troll said:


> Oh bbkf that's horrible of him :(
> Maybe let him see lo threw a third party till ur ok to be around him?
> 
> Louise Petes 22 and I'm 25 hahaha nowt wrong with a younger man ;) I was seeing a 19 yr old not so long ago.....now that's bad.
> What pub did u end up in? I was sat in a beer garden around that time lol

haha moomin_troll how weird, i was seeing a 19 year old a few months back, just really casually.. ;) haha turns out to be a total dick anyway though!

I dont know the name of it, it was a small pub with a beer garden just on the edge of the little town bit lol rubbish description!



bbkf said:


> Yeah id understand if he was tryna win me back or something but I didnt see the point of saying it all n then pissing off!!
> 
> I wish I could but my LO will absolutely freak if she cant see me and she wont even let her dad hold her shes so shy at the moment.
> 
> Thats the worst bit cos most people just do the hand over or whatever but he cant take her anywhere so he has to sit round mind for hours :/ hopefully when babys older he can just take her out Instead

This sounds so similar to the situation i had with FOB, Lilly didnt want to go to him, and i didnt want her to. He had some trust to earn back as we spilt up cos he was violent etc. We did it really gradually, over a few months and started letting her be there for an hour with him, then an afternoon. Then i let her sleep the night a couple of times. 

Could you maybe start with popping out for an hour while hes at yours with LO? Wont be so upsetting for you and her and itll give the a chance to get used to being alone together etc I really feel for you, horrible situation to be in :hugs:


----------



## moomin_troll

My 19 yr old was a good friend and we just started sleeping together lol
Then he got feelings for me do we stopped and he turned into a dick, tried to make me jealous of a 17 yr old he was seeing hahaha
There's so many pubs in Stafford it's unreal, so yeah I could never name which one that is haha


----------



## bbkf

She 9 months so kinda a clingy age in general! Yeah thats a good idea then shes in her own surroundings I might try n pop to the shops and stuff and see how she is.

Its been drama central here past few days! After the drama earlier FOB randomly showed up again n was like im gunna cut the crap I miss you I miss being a family and Iv literally fucked up my whole life and I dont care what u say im gunna do anything to get you back and be a family again.

I don't even no what to say/think right now I need to keep my logical head on arghhhhhh why is life so complicated!!!!


----------



## moomin_troll

If he can leave u so easily once I couldn't trust him again. 
How evil of him to do this to u :( 
Yeah he's fucked up, he now has to live with it


----------



## Louiseandbump

I met my 19 year old on a night out, he was drop dead gorgeous! Started messaging on facebook and went out a few times etc ;) 

So were out one night, me and my friends, him and his friends. Walking through the clubs in birmingham to get a taxi back to mine, hes got his arm round me. 

A group of about 5 girls walk straight upto us and one says 'who the fuck is she?' 
He dropped his arm from around me and scurried away. 

Never been so mortified in my whole life!!!


----------



## moomin_troll

What an arsehole! 
I met the teenager on a night out n we started txting. He was the first lad I gave my number to. 
We became friends who flirted, he took me on a date randomly months later. Then nothing came of that....until my birthday, I was a drunk crayon n he txt me... It went from there for afew months lol


----------



## bbkf

I think it's a classic case of he thought the grass was greener on the other side and realised its actually pretty shit. I just want him to make more effort to be a better dad before he starts worrying about getting anything from me!


----------



## bbkf

Louiseandbump said:


> I met my 19 year old on a night out, he was drop dead gorgeous! Started messaging on facebook and went out a few times etc ;)
> 
> So were out one night, me and my friends, him and his friends. Walking through the clubs in birmingham to get a taxi back to mine, hes got his arm round me.
> 
> A group of about 5 girls walk straight upto us and one says 'who the fuck is she?'
> He dropped his arm from around me and scurried away.
> 
> Never been so mortified in my whole life!!!

Oh dear!!! Id have legged it aswel ha


----------



## Louiseandbump

Never got into a taxi so fast in my life haha was awful. 

As for FOB i spent alot of time taking lillys dad back, all it ever did was hurt me more. 
I wanted him so desperately i let him treat me like an idiot.. 

even when he started hitting me, i made excuses and even let him move in with us :S

Learned my lesson the hard way in the end when it went too far. 

But you know him, we dont. Has he done this before?
Its all about if you can trust him again etc


----------



## bbkf

Yeah he never walked out or anything I dunno im not gunna say anything im just gunna see what happens I think hes coming to see baby after work today so ill see what he says then :/ theres no way im just letting him back in tho if anything was to happen it would have to be different


----------



## Louiseandbump

bbkf said:


> Yeah he never walked out or anything I dunno im not gunna say anything im just gunna see what happens I think hes coming to see baby after work today so ill see what he says then :/ theres no way im just letting him back in tho if anything was to happen it would have to be different

Just be very very careful, if you do take him back, dont do it easily and do it all on YOUR terms not his. As you said before, for now he should be concentrating on being a father before anything else. Hope it all works out for the best for you and LO, keep us posted :flower:


----------



## bbkf

Yeah If we were to get back together id want it to be because hes worked bloody hard to get me back and prove hes gunna be a good boyfriend not just because he showed up with his tail between his legs n I said okayyyyy were back together. I dunno I love nothing more for him to actually change and make things work but im not gunna kid myself and pretend everything's different if its exactly the same


----------



## moomin_troll

It's easier said then done to stick to ur guns, but I hope u can do it and he has to prove himself to u and lo.
It's not supposed to be easy to walk away from ur family like he did, so for this he needs to pay


----------



## babyrough

Just been reading this thread as i've recently split up from FOB so started coming in the single parents section more often. And I noticed one or two of you were from Stafford, Small world, I live in Stafford too!


----------



## Louiseandbump

babyrough said:


> Just been reading this thread as i've recently split up from FOB so started coming in the single parents section more often. And I noticed one or two of you were from Stafford, Small world, I live in Stafford too!

Hope youre doing okay, its a big change isnt it :flower:
Im from Birmingham, but visited stafford the other day :)


----------



## moomin_troll

And I'm from Stafford :) welcome to the group, some really great girls here. U will get amazing support


----------



## Louiseandbump

Oh god. Ive been told I have to decide what we do on the next date!

Anyone got any ideas for a good third date?! I am like the most indecisive person ever. 

Last two were so lovely, i dont want the one i choose to be pants! :dohh:


----------



## babyrough

Louiseandbump said:


> babyrough said:
> 
> 
> Just been reading this thread as i've recently split up from FOB so started coming in the single parents section more often. And I noticed one or two of you were from Stafford, Small world, I live in Stafford too!
> 
> Hope youre doing okay, its a big change isnt it :flower:
> Im from Birmingham, but visited stafford the other day :)Click to expand...

Thank you! I'm doing great, a lot happier now we have split, it's been a long time coming. Just hard with the arrangements for LO. 
Did you have any issues with FOB about arrangements for your LO? Does it ever get easier?! I'm loosing the will to live lol


----------



## babyrough

moomin_troll said:


> And I'm from Stafford :) welcome to the group, some really great girls here. U will get amazing support

Thank you! :)


----------



## moomin_troll

How about a cinema date. Loads of good films on right now. A very laid back casual date :)


----------



## Louiseandbump

babyrough said:


> Louiseandbump said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> babyrough said:
> 
> 
> Just been reading this thread as i've recently split up from FOB so started coming in the single parents section more often. And I noticed one or two of you were from Stafford, Small world, I live in Stafford too!
> 
> Hope youre doing okay, its a big change isnt it :flower:
> Im from Birmingham, but visited stafford the other day :)Click to expand...
> 
> Thank you! I'm doing great, a lot happier now we have split, it's been a long time coming. Just hard with the arrangements for LO.
> Did you have any issues with FOB about arrangements for your LO? Does it ever get easier?! I'm loosing the will to live lolClick to expand...

I wish i could say yes, but FOB is a total pain in the arse. 
Last time i went to drop LO to his he was drunk :S 

So had to stop him seeing her for a while til he sorted his act out, 
hes seen her yesterday and today, getting there slowly. 

What are your arrangements at the moment?
Is he being a pain?
How old is LO?



moomin_troll said:


> How about a cinema date. Loads of good films on right now. A very laid back casual date :)

Yeah i was gonna suggest cinema, and then maybe food. 
Good excuse to cuddle up in the dark too :happydance:
I cant drink atm, im on antibiotics for a UTI. 
So not a conversation i wana have, how unsexy :dohh:
So trying to avoid that haha


----------



## moomin_troll

If he asks why u don't wana drink, just say u don't fancy it lol


----------



## babyrough

Louiseandbump said:


> babyrough said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Louiseandbump said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> babyrough said:
> 
> 
> Just been reading this thread as i've recently split up from FOB so started coming in the single parents section more often. And I noticed one or two of you were from Stafford, Small world, I live in Stafford too!
> 
> Hope youre doing okay, its a big change isnt it :flower:
> Im from Birmingham, but visited stafford the other day :)Click to expand...
> 
> Thank you! I'm doing great, a lot happier now we have split, it's been a long time coming. Just hard with the arrangements for LO.
> Did you have any issues with FOB about arrangements for your LO? Does it ever get easier?! I'm loosing the will to live lolClick to expand...
> 
> I wish i could say yes, but FOB is a total pain in the arse.
> Last time i went to drop LO to his he was drunk :S
> 
> So had to stop him seeing her for a while til he sorted his act out,
> hes seen her yesterday and today, getting there slowly.
> 
> What are your arrangements at the moment?
> Is he being a pain?
> How old is LO?
> 
> He turned 1 in may so 14months old now.
> He's just a very unreasonable person to work with. When we first split he demaded to see LO every evening and all weekend every weekend. Of course I said that just wasn't practical as I work and would never have chance to spend time with LO myself. So at the moment the arrangement is that he has him on a Wednesday evening and a weekend. Except every weekend do far he has made an excuse to not have him overnight. It's like he just wants him for all the fun bits then brings him back to me when he's bored.
> I just want to get everythin in writing, like a legal contract or something. He also hasn't paid anything towards LO yet.
> It's soooo stressful!
> 
> How old is your LO, how long ago did u split up with FOB?Click to expand...


----------



## Louiseandbump

I had my third date with Josh last night! We went for a coffee, then for a walk, to see a film and then for something to eat. 

It was really sad at first cos he got to my moms to pick me up, and his phone rang and it was his friend calling to say his other friend had died. I didnt know what to do, he looked so sad and then had to call his parents who are away to let them know the bad news. :nope:

We talked a little bit about him meeting Lilly and stuff last night. 
We were talking about in the future though, not about now. 
How did you all go about new partners meeting LOs?
Im in no rush for that anyway, id rather wait a little bit. 

Also, whilst we were out some guy asked him if i was his girlfriend, and he said yes. Wanted to go like this :happydance: but was just like this :blush: lol




babyrough said:


> Louiseandbump said:
> 
> 
> He turned 1 in may so 14months old now.
> He's just a very unreasonable person to work with. When we first split he demaded to see LO every evening and all weekend every weekend. Of course I said that just wasn't practical as I work and would never have chance to spend time with LO myself. So at the moment the arrangement is that he has him on a Wednesday evening and a weekend. Except every weekend do far he has made an excuse to not have him overnight. It's like he just wants him for all the fun bits then brings him back to me when he's bored.
> I just want to get everythin in writing, like a legal contract or something. He also hasn't paid anything towards LO yet.
> It's soooo stressful!
> 
> How old is your LO, how long ago did u split up with FOB?
> 
> Id love some sort of legal contract that sets out days/times that FOB sees LO that he would have to stick to. Hes such a pain, hasnt been sticking to any of it recently. FOB is the same in that he will act desperate to see her, but doesnt want to do the proper parenting bits, like overnights. Hes fine with it, so long as it doesnt get in the way of his weekends out or his love life.
> 
> Lilly is 28 months, so almost 2 and a half. Far too old for him to not be turning up etc shes cried a few times now when ive said hes not coming, so my advice is sort it out sooner rather than later if possible :flower:
> 
> I split up with FOB in january this year, he had become violent and it was starting to go WAY too far.
> It was over a long time before that really though, we were just going through the motions.Click to expand...


----------



## moomin_troll

Oh no how awful for him and u being there for that. 
Pete met my boys pretty fast because zane got up earlier then expected and caught Pete in my bed hahaha

So he met them pretty fast, it had been about just over 2 weeks lol
But I heard something about single mums and dating, it said. U don't want a parade of men meetin ur children but if u think something could happen then get them
Meeting soon. U don't want to wait 6 months and then him not deal with the fact u have kids or ur kids not to like him, because then that's time uve wasted.

But see as ur lo is still so young I don't think it matters as much, now zane being 4, almost 5 was abit more nerve wracking


----------



## Louiseandbump

moomin_troll said:


> Oh no how awful for him and u being there for that.
> Pete met my boys pretty fast because zane got up earlier then expected and caught Pete in my bed hahaha
> 
> So he met them pretty fast, it had been about just over 2 weeks lol
> But I heard something about single mums and dating, it said. U don't want a parade of men meetin ur children but if u think something could happen then get them
> Meeting soon. U don't want to wait 6 months and then him not deal with the fact u have kids or ur kids not to like him, because then that's time uve wasted.
> 
> But see as ur lo is still so young I don't think it matters as much, now zane being 4, almost 5 was abit more nerve wracking

Haha oh dear! Zane caught you out then, i bet petes face was a picture! 

He hasnt even dropped me off at mine yet let alone been near my bed, not through lack of trying though! :winkwink: haha

Hes said a few things that make me think hes thinking long term though, and been very very honest about stuff with me which is really nice actually. Its nice that weve got history and ive known him for years so i already know i can trust him. 

I worry a little cos Lilly has been going through a stage of being scared of men, although i think she is coming out of it. Also Lilly's dad knows who josh is, knows i used to fancy him ages ago, and will probably be worse about me getting with josh than any other guy. 

Imagine if Lilly meets him and hates him!! Lol What if shes jealous?? :shrug:


----------



## moomin_troll

She will get used to him, could take time or she could surprise u :) 
Yeah Pete looked terrified hahaha he won my boys over cuz he can juggle.
Zane even said he loves Pete the other day, I didn't expect that in a million years, took Pete by surprise.
If zane can open up to a man in my life then so will Lily.
Yeah I was bad, we hadn't even had a date yet and I got him into bed hahaha


----------



## Louiseandbump

moomin_troll said:


> She will get used to him, could take time or she could surprise u :)
> Yeah Pete looked terrified hahaha he won my boys over cuz he can juggle.
> Zane even said he loves Pete the other day, I didn't expect that in a million years, took Pete by surprise.
> If zane can open up to a man in my life then so will Lily.
> Yeah I was bad, we hadn't even had a date yet and I got him into bed hahaha

Haha its not bad, mommys have needs too! :winkwink:

I think next time i see him, hes gonna stop over at mine but lilly will be at her dads anyway so no chance ill get caught out. 

Although landlord lives opposite who is FOBs boss and keeps him well informed of all my comings and goings, but ill cross that bridge when i come to it. 

I wonder if josh can juggle.. Haha ill just tell him to bring chocolate or something if he meets her then, im sure thatll win her over. 

Thats so sweet that he said he loves him!!


----------



## moomin_troll

How childish he's keeping tabs on u. What a stalker lol

God dating would be so much easier if I had someone for the boys to stay over with.
I do feel like a teenager who could get caught by her mother lol but zanes worse hahaha
Kids always like someone who gives or does something they like haha
Zane did look at me funny when he saw me hug Pete, but now he's not bothered.
Ive been informed Petes now his best friend. 
Zanes such a cutie lol


----------



## Louiseandbump

Ah how lovely that theyve got a 'father figure' in their life now, i know he will never replace their daddy but its good for them to have a man around isnt it. 

Must be difficult not having anyone to have them stay over night with, i suppose you had no choice but to introduce pete early or youd never have got to see him!

Childish is not even the word, hes actually just a bit of a TWAT haha 
Oh well, he actually has a girlfriend now, so maybe he wont care so much.

Yeah Lillys easily bribed now i think about it, if he brings some chocolate buttons with him, im sure she will be sold.

When it comes to it ill probably do it really casually, like with other people around so there isnt a big focus on the two of them, and kinda limit the affection between eachother til shes a little bit used to him. Thats IF We get there haha dont want to get carried away, guess you have to think everything through when there are kids involved though!


----------



## moomin_troll

Getting carried away is all part of the fun lol
That's a good idea, about meeting with afew other ppl there.
With zane it was casual like this is my mate Pete, he's seen my best mate sleep in my bed so he bought it haha and Corey's so friendly he excepted Pete straight away. 

Yeah I had my mum n sister moan about zane meeting Pete so soon, well if they would help it wouldn't of happened. 
It's easy giving an opinion when ur not willing to offer help and support.
Petes still not 100% confident around zane yet but yeah I'm glad they can see me happy again and have someone to care for them in their lives. 
Zane might be left with Pete for an hour on Friday, treating myself n getting fake nails done for the first time. So we shall see. Can't imagine zane making it easy haha


----------



## Louiseandbump

moomin_troll said:


> Getting carried away is all part of the fun lol
> That's a good idea, about meeting with afew other ppl there.
> With zane it was casual like this is my mate Pete, he's seen my best mate sleep in my bed so he bought it haha and Corey's so friendly he excepted Pete straight away.
> 
> Yeah I had my mum n sister moan about zane meeting Pete so soon, well if they would help it wouldn't of happened.
> It's easy giving an opinion when ur not willing to offer help and support.
> Petes still not 100% confident around zane yet but yeah I'm glad they can see me happy again and have someone to care for them in their lives.
> Zane might be left with Pete for an hour on Friday, treating myself n getting fake nails done for the first time. So we shall see. Can't imagine zane making it easy haha

Ah thats lovely. Like you say how they can see you happy again. I think the main thing in it all is that your children feel loved and secure, and youre going at a pace that suits you all. 

I saw a thread on here somewhere earlier about when is it okay to leave your LO with a partner, you should have a look see if there are any comments. I didnt leave one cos i dont have any experience with that yet and all i had is one horrific story that happened to a friend, didnt see the point in scaring the poor girl! 

Josh said something alone the lines of if we had been together a while and lilly was used to me and you needed a girly night out, you know i wouldnt mind having her for you while you let your hair down cos he knows how unreliable FOB is. I was like where did that come from! Lol at hes thinking ahead right?


----------



## moomin_troll

That's nice of him, Pete offered to babysit Saturday while I go out for my mates bday, but my little sister can.
He's been left with zane last week while I ran Corey to nursery. I did quiz zane soon as I got back to see if everything was ok. He said yeah he got me Chocolate milk n I watched the iPad. Lol
And the other day zane wanted to go to a different with Pete so I let him.

Oh god, a horrible story :/ it's always a huge worry of mine. Pete helped raise his ex's child for 2 yrs, so that makes me feel a little more comfortable and he's always the mate who gets asked to babysit his friends daughter.


----------



## Louiseandbump

Yeah thats the way to do it i think, just gradually building up everyones trust together, getting used to eachother bit by bit. 

Yeah, so horrible. The way when youre a parent you always have that tiny little thing in the back of your mind that says 'what if'


----------



## moomin_troll

Peter offered to get up with Corey this morning to I could get an extra hour, I instantly panicked cuz zanes not hear, my theory was he could at least shout if he needed me lol
I got up, and Pete said I knew u wouldn't let me get up with Corey.

And I thought dating was the hard part


----------



## Louiseandbump

moomin_troll said:


> Peter offered to get up with Corey this morning to I could get an extra hour, I instantly panicked cuz zanes not hear, my theory was he could at least shout if he needed me lol
> I got up, and Pete said I knew u wouldn't let me get up with Corey.
> 
> And I thought dating was the hard part

Does he get offended about stuff like that or is he quite understanding?

When it comes to it id hate for josh to think i dont trust him, but its such a difficult situation isnt it. 

4th date today! :happydance: hes meeting me at mine then were gonna go into birmingham for some food and shopping for a birthday present for a female friend of his. Then.. i think hes gonna come back at stop at mine and watch films :winkwink: i am so nervous!


----------



## moomin_troll

Nah he isn't offended. I didn't say anything n he turned round n said he didn't think I'd let him.
Wooo sounds like a great day.
I thought I'd be so scared the first time I had sex again, it had been 2 yrs and is had a baby since then. But when ur in the moment ule be fine :)


----------



## Louiseandbump

Ah it was so lovely. Lounging around watching films together. Eating bacon sandwiches at 2am and stayed up til 5am :winkwink::blush:

Slept in til 12 which is the first time ive stayed in bed past 8am in ages so that was amazing! Lol 

He told me hes got a job next week as a naked waiter!! Lol he had already said yes but i think he was making sure i was okay with it which was nice. 

So 4 dates and a sleepover at mine, looking good i think :thumbup:


----------



## moomin_troll

Naughty naughty hahaha
Woo if he can be a naked waiter, he must have a hot bod ;) 
Can't say I'd of even watched the film hahaha
Glad things are going well for u both.
I'm so jealous of the lie in :(


----------



## moomin_troll

Hey ladies how's everything going?


----------



## Louiseandbump

Hey, ladies hope youre all okay. 

Well.. i havent seen him since last week. 
When he stayed over, weve spoken every day since. 

But he hasnt asked to see me :nope:

But i think hes worked every day since, 
he is off today but its his friends funeral. 

Am hoping its just for them reasons, cant help but wonder though :wacko:


----------



## bbkf

Hey ladies iv had a pretty bad time FOB came back crying and begging to give things another try so I did and of course he screwed me over again. I feel like an idiot but I knew it was a possibility and I felt I had to give it one last chance but it hasn't worked out. 

He lied to me on our anniversary and said he was to tired to see me and went and saw his friends instead. 
Hes had his chance now and choose his friends over us so I have to accept hes not gunna be who I want him to be and id never be able to trust him ever again. Still upset somehow I still love him but im not gunna let him put me in this position again so I just have to get on with being a single mum at least I can say I tried! Hopefully things are going better for you girls x


----------



## moomin_troll

Louiseandbump said:


> Hey, ladies hope youre all okay.
> 
> Well.. i havent seen him since last week.
> When he stayed over, weve spoken every day since.
> 
> But he hasnt asked to see me :nope:
> 
> But i think hes worked every day since,
> he is off today but its his friends funeral.
> 
> Am hoping its just for them reasons, cant help but wonder though :wacko:

It must be a hard week for him, leading up to the funeral of a friend. If he was no longer interested, he wouldn't txt u. 
But if he is infact a nob, then well atleast u got it out the way and had a laugh :)


----------



## Louiseandbump

bbkf said:


> Hey ladies iv had a pretty bad time FOB came back crying and begging to give things another try so I did and of course he screwed me over again. I feel like an idiot but I knew it was a possibility and I felt I had to give it one last chance but it hasn't worked out.
> 
> He lied to me on our anniversary and said he was to tired to see me and went and saw his friends instead.
> Hes had his chance now and choose his friends over us so I have to accept hes not gunna be who I want him to be and id never be able to trust him ever again. Still upset somehow I still love him but im not gunna let him put me in this position again so I just have to get on with being a single mum at least I can say I tried! Hopefully things are going better for you girls x

Bbkf im sorry he has let you down again. At least you can say you tried and its him thats messed up twice. If youd just taken him back then he shouldve been on his absoloute best behaviour trying to get things good again, so that just shows his heart wasnt in it. I promise it gets easier with time, youll be a stronger person for being without him. :hugs:




moomin_troll said:


> It must be a hard week for him, leading up to the funeral of a friend. If he was no longer interested, he wouldn't txt u.
> But if he is infact a nob, then well atleast u got it out the way and had a laugh :)

Yeah, he is texting me a fair bit, but we will see i suppose. 
Cant be an easy day for him, so giving him a bit of space atm.

Im never sure where i stand with him over text, but then when we see each other in person its really good. Hate the not knowing though!


----------



## bbkf

Thank you like you said I tried my hardest and he blew it again clearly friends are more important! Im putting all my focus now into trying to find the money to move closer to family and friends as im stuck in a town with I only knew FOB im already worrying about los 1st birthday and thinking about my first xmas on my own is scary :( but im glad I found out what hes really like instead of sorting things out n then the same thing happening when LOs old enough to understand. 

I also think your guys probably just got alot on his mind at the moment but he obviously still wants to chat to you so I wouldn't worry to much :)


----------



## moomin_troll

bbkf, the firsts are scary but ile be fine. Better to be alone then with a scumbag like him :/

The not knowing in dating is horrible! 

Well had a serious talk with Pete today. So weird we've only been together for almost 3 months. Seems so much longer.
He's been staying over a lot, 6 nights out of 7, so it was a chat about if it was just is then fine, the boys love him being here but if things went wrong then it's them left missing him. 
So he's goin to spend more time at his mums.
Moving him in isn't an option, he couldn't afford to take on half my bills lol


----------



## bbkf

moomin_troll said:


> bbkf, the firsts are scary but ile be fine. Better to be alone then with a scumbag like him :/
> 
> The not knowing in dating is horrible!
> 
> Well had a serious talk with Pete today. So weird we've only been together for almost 3 months. Seems so much longer.
> He's been staying over a lot, 6 nights out of 7, so it was a chat about if it was just is then fine, the boys love him being here but if things went wrong then it's them left missing him.
> So he's goin to spend more time at his mums.
> Moving him in isn't an option, he couldn't afford to take on half my bills lol

Sounds sensible he could still come round alot just not stay round then it doesnt feel like hes living there tto the boys. He sounds like a nice guy tho :)


----------



## Louiseandbump

moomin_troll said:


> bbkf, the firsts are scary but ile be fine. Better to be alone then with a scumbag like him :/
> 
> The not knowing in dating is horrible!
> 
> Well had a serious talk with Pete today. So weird we've only been together for almost 3 months. Seems so much longer.
> He's been staying over a lot, 6 nights out of 7, so it was a chat about if it was just is then fine, the boys love him being here but if things went wrong then it's them left missing him.
> So he's goin to spend more time at his mums.
> Moving him in isn't an option, he couldn't afford to take on half my bills lol

Ah thats fair enough though, you have to have the boys interests coming first. Was he understanding about it all?


Im already worried about christmas, my first alone since i had lilly and im scared i won't afford it! I start uni in september too, and i am so scared cos FOB is a bit of a twat tbh. I promise the day to day gets easier and that hurt sick horrible feeling does go away, youre through the worst because you know he doesnt deserve another chance x


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah he was totally understanding about it. He said he adores the boys and wouldn't want them to get hurt at all. 
I don't think zane would be too bothered but u never know.
He works odd hours and doesn't finish till 10pm Monday to Friday. So I might suggest we only see each other the time before he goes work and sleeps on weekends, but I duno. Ile talk to Pete about it more when I next see him.

And I thought just dating was hard lol


----------



## moomin_troll

Although i saw the lad I started this thread about last night while out with Pete. 
Bloody hell he's gorgeous haha
Pete wasn't too impressed when I hugged this lad, hey he came to me, what's a girl to do hahaha


----------



## bbkf

Louiseandbump said:


> moomin_troll said:
> 
> 
> bbkf, the firsts are scary but ile be fine. Better to be alone then with a scumbag like him :/
> 
> The not knowing in dating is horrible!
> 
> Well had a serious talk with Pete today. So weird we've only been together for almost 3 months. Seems so much longer.
> He's been staying over a lot, 6 nights out of 7, so it was a chat about if it was just is then fine, the boys love him being here but if things went wrong then it's them left missing him.
> So he's goin to spend more time at his mums.
> Moving him in isn't an option, he couldn't afford to take on half my bills lol
> 
> Ah thats fair enough though, you have to have the boys interests coming first. Was he understanding about it all?
> 
> 
> Im already worried about christmas, my first alone since i had lilly and im scared i won't afford it! I start uni in september too, and i am so scared cos FOB is a bit of a twat tbh. I promise the day to day gets easier and that hurt sick horrible feeling does go away, youre through the worst because you know he doesnt deserve another chance xClick to expand...

Thanks I no im better off in the end but obviously it sucks! Im not worried about christmas financially more just being alone Iv had xmas with FOB for the past 4 or 5 years :( if you think your gunna struggle to pay for it you should start really early iv done that before if I leave it till December id freak out! Her first birthday is October 6th he was supposed to be getting her a 100quid smart trike so im gunna have to buy that now aswel :/ 


Moomin I cant even imagen how complicated dating is when you have kids I swear ill be alone forever I never go anywhere to meet someone but I suppose most single mums feel like that at some point!


----------



## moomin_troll

You won't be alone forever. Me having kids has never actually been a problem, as Pete pointed out to me it's not usually for women my age to have a child lol
It's the dead husband which has been the passion killer for me hahaha


----------



## Louiseandbump

Yeah i have started to get a couple of bits for lilly, luckily shes at the age where i can just buy her total crap and she thinks its amazing haha. I thout id be alone forever but youd be surpised men generally aren't put off by the having a child thing, more down to you feeling ready i think, it comes with time. X 

I am so emotional tody ladies, all my strength not to text jsh sme stuid hormonal outburst haha, i wnt though! 

Haha well you couldnt ignore him could you now, thats just rude. Especially if hes hot haha. To be fair, with your busband passing that must make it totally different to having some scummy FOB hanging around causing grief, but so much more difficult to deal with emotionally for you and LOs. You seem very happy and stable and a lovely mommy thiugh s youve done well :)


----------



## moomin_troll

My ex the window cleaner couldn't handle the fact he felt second best, he didn't even come close hahaha
He flipped out cuz he saw a pic of Tom, my husband so that was the end for me.

The lad made the thread about said he just freaked out over thinkin about me being a widow, I think most people think I'm going to be a nervous wreck because of it.

When infact I'm ok, the amount of times I've enjoyed making people crawl up their own ass by sayin yeah he's dead when they ask where my children's father is, is hilarious.
I've got such a sick sense of humour lol
Petes been great about it. It helps he was in the army, he was based in the town next to us in Germany and would come to where I lived on nights out. It's crazy how small the world is


----------



## bbkf

Hey ladies how are things going with you guys? Im having a shit time as usual I cant get a bloody break. Since FOB screwed me over again about a week ago he said he was happy to never see LO again if that was what I wanted then 2 days later was saying he loves me wants to see LO and get back together, then ignored me for 3 days then showed up a min ago to drop off milk as I text him n saidI needed mimilk for LO ( I did have money just wanted to see if he would bother n its the first thing hes paid for her in 2 months) he dropped the milk off wad there for 1 min and basically said he didnt say he loved me wanted to get back together ect.

Im so sick of it all! I feel like in the past 2 months since us splitting nothing had been sorted out or arranged its just been a constant cycle of the same thing (basically what I said before)

I just feel so depressed I want him to be a good dad but he isnt. Part of me would prefer him to be a shit dad so I dont have to deal with him anymore. Part of me still loves him somehow and wants gim to say hel change even tho I dont actually want to gey back with him. Arghhh I wanna scream ha. I just wanna move on with my life and im not at the moment because it still revolves around him.

Sorry btw I no this isnt exactly about dating you can tell me to piss off if you want ha its just you ladies are rather nice and helpful :)

I hope things are going better for you girls im sure they are!


----------



## moomin_troll

F off! Hahaha only joking. I love the group of girls in here, so glad I made it. So I don't blame u for posting in here. 
U love the idea of him, the old him. U can't possibly love someone who treats u this way.
U will be ok with or without him in ur los life.

I'm starting to feel like I have 3 kids! The boys had chicken pox n now with zanes 6 weeks holidays I haven't been baby free in 3 months. House has died, Petes seen how stressed I have been and I said I needed some help, he's always here so it's only fair.
Well that landed on deaf ears because he's not helped at all.
I reached breaking point this morning and was in tears.
He went to his mums and didn't offer to help me today but would tomo, yeah right he's workin 2 shifts and he's just had his fingers tattooed so wouldn't be much use to me tomo. 
I'm so drained :(


----------



## moomin_troll

Well ladies I'm single. I finished with Pete today.

Going to concentrate on my boys and have fun with my friends, f men lol


----------



## bbkf

Oh no what happened hun? X


----------



## moomin_troll

I found he had text a prostitute....apparently not to meet her but for just dirty texts. 
He text her Sunday, when I was really stressed and apparently I pushed him away


----------



## bbkf

Omg thats no excuse im sorry hun are you ok? Have you said anything to the boys about him not being around anymore? I can tell just from reading this thread that your a super strong woman so I no youl be fine but still im suprised he did that!


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah I've told zane, he's upset but angry that Pete upset me so he will be fine. 
He just came round for his things, in tears. He's sorry, he loves us and came bare not being with me. He made a mistake and will go back into counselling to stop it from happening again. Blah blah blah


----------



## Shezza84uk

oh no, that is terrible and why a prostitute when you have a good woman at home?! There cant be any valid reasons you asked him to help you around the house how is that pushing him away?! Thinking with his Male 2nd HEAD it seems


----------



## bbkf

Hmm im guessing you said no to a second chance or counselling or whatever, I swear men just think theyl do what they want then turn on the tears n apologise


----------



## moomin_troll

He says dirty text is his porn. Even tho this "woman" wasn't playing ball, so he didn't even get what he wanted. I guess texting a whore is a sure thing for a service u want.

The phone chats n webcams were an addiction he had years ago, he was in counselling for that and PTSD (post traumatic stress) and hasn't done it in years. 
He knows he can't justify this!
My bil has tried to make it sound better then I word it lol

I forgave the man I married for worse, so now I've been talking to my mum it doesn't seem as black and white as I made it out to be


----------



## Shezza84uk

are you going to forgive him? I wonder if the woman was up for it would he pursue further than texting? x


----------



## moomin_troll

From her website she's up for anything! But I really can't imagine him payin for it other then I guess the thrill of what the texts might say.
I don't get it, I've never been interested in porn let alone all this. So I don't see the attraction.
He's begging me still, saying he's going to call his counsellor tomo n start up meetings. 
I don't think I can forgive or forget this


----------



## bbkf

Only you no wether you can forgive and trust him again on the one hand it could be a 1 off and hes shit himself that hes gunna lose you and never do it again but on the other hand it he could do it again or the trust might be gone :/

Its a tricky one he seems like he wants to fix it but what if you had never found out? He might have just carried on doing it behind your back x


----------



## moomin_troll

These are points I've made. He says he could never even risk doing it again because he's felt what it's like to lose me. He says he for scared of losing me, freaked out and did that. The texts really were nothing, there was 3. He says soon as he did it he felt awful ect.
I can never forget, I've got a right mouth on me so I know I'd bring it up just to get to him in a fight. 

Before I got married Tom had done something early on in the relationship, I'd still bring that up lol

I don't even know what to think, no matter what I do, he needs help to deal with his emotions. Afghan did a right number on him


----------



## Shezza84uk

If you do forgive him he needs to prove he's trust worthy. PTSD is awful but I personally dislike when they use it as the means to mess up and in pursuit to seek unhealthy ways to make them feel better. I still get told my FOB was a serial cheat due to PTSD and needing release I just think its a load of crap. 

Saying that you never know he might learn and sort himself out maybe you should let him know if he pulls anything like this again you will leave for good. Whatever you decide it will be hard because you care about him and the boys like him xx


----------



## moomin_troll

He hasn't used his PTSD as an excuse, I did expect him to lol
He just happened to be in counselling and they were his main problems. Even tho he was crying his eyes out, I expected him to use a panic attack, which he gets. But he didn't.
He gave a reason as to what was in his head at the time, but says he can't justify it at all.
Well I'm going out tomorrow night as a single lady, so ile soon see how I feel


----------



## Shezza84uk

A night out to let your hair down is a great idea, just do what makes you happy and your boys xx


----------



## bbkf

Yeah just let it cool for a bit and see how you feel you can always talk to him of you wanna give him another chance


----------



## moomin_troll

I made it perfectly clear that if by a miracle I took him back and he did it again, it would be so easy for me to sell my house and disappear and he'd never hear or see me again. 
It would be the perfect excuse, I've often wondered about packing up and just moving to Spain lol
I think this has scared the hell out of him, and he wants to go back into his counselling.
Could be all words, I'd make sure he was trying before I took him back


----------



## bbkf

Hey hun did you talk to him or anything? I havnt herd from FOB but found out hes on a dating site and his profile says he has no kids! hope things are going ok with you


----------



## moomin_troll

bbkf said:


> Hey hun did you talk to him or anything? I havnt herd from FOB but found out hes on a dating site and his profile says he has no kids! hope things are going ok with you

What a dick! 
He's been begging me to take him back, he's a mess.
The boys miss him.
He's called and left a message with his counsellor to start sessions back up.
My family have really surprised me and taken his side while still supporting me. They all think I should give him another chance.
Seeing him tonight, think we are goin for a drink n maybe cinema and see how I feel.
I'm not as angry as I was that's for sure or I'd punch him soon as I see him lol


----------



## bbkf

Hmm maybe it is worth a second chance see how you feel once you talk to him and spend time together :/ seems like he really is sorry


----------



## moomin_troll

He's in bits, he looks a right mess :( 
He still can't stop crying when he looks at me, so stayed in. Waiting for a curry and then watching a film. Done face masks lol been nice to be with him again


----------



## bbkf

Aw bless him I dont reckon he would mess up again bur obviously you no him better than me


----------



## bbkf

Hey hun how was your night? Ugh I dont even get how im supposed to meet someone :/ I literally neverhave ananyone else to look after LO so I dont get how im supposed to meet anyone. Theres a guy iv been chatting to on facebook who lives about 5 mins from my house and he wants to meet up but I always have my daughter! Im getting really depressed sitting in all day id love to meet someone but I dont really see a way around it :/


----------



## moomin_troll

It was a nice night thanks :)
Don't u have any family near? I have to pay my brother to babysit so I can go out


----------



## bbkf

Aw do you reckon youl sort thing out? No I literally have no one to watch her! X


----------



## moomin_troll

Before my brother would babysit I had no one either, so I know how frustrating it is :(
Part of me wants to try and the other part wants to rip his head off still. I can't make up my mind.


----------



## bbkf

Yeah its so annoying!! Yeah I dont blame you its a tricky one :/


----------



## Louiseandbump

Moomintroll i think it was probably a massive mistake on his part which he knows by the sound of it, id take it slow and make him work for you back. Hope you can work it out, you seemed so happy nefore he went and did that! 

Single lady here too. Josh is a total dick! Was so horrible to me the other day it made me cry and everything and im not a cryer!! Single lady night out saturday for me woo!


----------



## moomin_troll

Omg what did he say to make u cry? What an arsehole! 
He's been in bits, saying he can't lose me, misses me and the boys.
It's his bday tomo, so I'm seeing him. Ile probably take him back.
My family and friends think I should. He's gota work at it and go back to counselling, which he says he is doing


----------



## LunaBean

Ok, Ive just started a new relationship, and finding it hard to balance being a mummy and being a gf!! My new gf is lovely, shes so good with noah etc, but it's my first after having him, and Im s shattered all the time, and dont have anyone to watch him so we get time to ourselves!! any advice?


----------



## bbkf

Ah what happened louiseandbump?? Hope your okay now!

Luna I have no good advice unfortunately I struggle to meet anyone on the first place because I always have my daughter! Congrats on meeting someone nice tho! :) :)

Im kinda having a shit day tbh usually im always fine about everything but today Iv been quite upset I think its just knowing that my ex is on a dating site and saying he doesnt have kids aswel. And hes out meeting girls and stuff and im stuck at home all day. Even tho I hate him I really miss him and my old life :( whens it supposed to get easier I feel like I always be upset at the thought of him with someone else and I thought it would be easier because hes been such a prick. I dunno why im feeling like this today :(


----------



## moomin_troll

Hi Luna :) the only time I get a babysitter is at mine when I pay my brother, so alone time can be difficult. And it is exhausting! 
Hopefully she will understand u need ur nights alone to sleep and get things done.
Mine and Petes alone time is when the boys are in bed, watch a film, cook a meal or a take away.
Pete works till 10 at night, so that was killing me. But if she's worth it, she will understand u can't do it all and it's hard work finding a balance....I still haven't after 3 months lol


----------



## moomin_troll

Bbkf, we all have down days, and finding out the Man u saw a future with is out living the single life, not even acknowledging ur baby, his baby must be heart breaking x


----------



## Louiseandbump

Luna i totally agree with moomintroll, if shes worth it, youll make it work, even though it may be hard at time. 

Bbkf i had times like that, watching him move on and how easy it is for the guy without a child there 24:7, i miss my old life even now and i hate fob but i miss the family unit. It foes get better, a time will come when youll think poor bitch is welcome to him. Lol

Josh was being off and not seeming interested, not seen much of eachother so i asked 'are you not interested now josh, im not being funny like id just rather know' 

The other day he got into a fight somehow while out drinking, and he had to have stitches so he was feeling rubbish so when i didnt get sn instant text back i left it. 

He ignored it for like a day, so i text him saying nice one josh, so much for being straight and honest, this is the exact reply i got; 


1:26pm
Josh 
I don't even know what ur on about, I've had a shit start to the week and tbh i dont need this insecure crap, or you trying to guilt trip me! I can't believe I'm actually gettin this because I didn't respond to a text... 
Calling me selfish, when all u care about is me showing u attention and u couldn't care any fucking less about the physical pain and situation I'm in, so take a look at this and realise who's in the wrong 
P.s. straight and honest enough for u

1:33pm
Louise Moloney
Ouch. Right okay. Sorry. Feel better soon.


That is the last time we spoke and i have been feeling gutted he hasnt been in touch, but refuse to chase him after this.


----------



## moomin_troll

That was a childish response from him :/ not ur fault he was a dick and got into a fight.

Maybe he will stop feeling sorry for himself and message u soon. If he doesn't, oh well. His lose and at least uve got out there and shown urself u can do this


----------



## Louiseandbump

As much as i am gutted, if thats what hes really like it would never have worked anyway. Oh well, looking forward to saturday with my girls :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Can't beat a girls night out. I'm planning a massive girls night out. Manchester to see the dreamboys and then lots if drinking and dancing to follow


----------



## moomin_troll

Some of u who are Facebook friends will know, but I've officially taken Pete back. The old me wouldn't of cared how I felt but would of left him and hooked up with my brother in laws friend :S lol
But I do love him, so we shall see lol


----------



## Shezza84uk

I saw your update, the heart wants what the heart wants! I am happy for you and I hope he keeps his promise to seek further help. You deserve to be happy, loved and cherished along with your boys he seems a nice guy, besides relationships will have little hiccups here and there its just how you chose to handle those unfortunate things when they occur xx


----------



## moomin_troll

Thanks :) apart from this crap, he treats me well and adores the boys and they love him. Zanes really opened up to having him in our lives, which was one of the reasons I decided to give things a go.
It's not like me, but I'm not angry about what he did and I don't really think about it...maybe losing Tom has made me realise life's too short for the little things to hurt u


----------



## bbkf

Glad you guys sorted stuff out :) I actually had a date on Friday! It went really well n the guy had been messaging loads then randomly just havnt herd from him now so dunno if he changed his mind about me or what :/ sucks cos he was sooooo hot haha n he messaged me the next day saying about meeting up again n stuff so I dunno :/ I hate all this dating stuff lol so confusing


----------



## moomin_troll

Wow u kept that quiet! What did u do for the date?


----------



## moomin_troll

Well this was a surprise. Zane turned to Pete and aske if he was staying the week... Pete said ya what mate?
Zane then said this is ur home now if u want.
It appears my 4 yr old has asked my boyfriend to move in with us hahaha


----------



## bbkf

Ha I no he just came round n watched a movie in the evening we we really flirty n everything n kissed. Then obviously he was messaging All day the next day n saying about meeting up again n stuff then yesterday I hardly herd from him n when he did messagei was like your quiet today n he said he was tired or whatever so I said oh you not in the mood for talking n he just messaged back saying not really tbh! 

Im not gunna message him again but I thought that was kinda dickish! Hes the one that made a move ect so I dunno :/ ugh I dont get men lol I must have done something!


----------



## bbkf

Ha n zanes so cute bless him!


----------



## moomin_troll

What a knob!
At least u got out there n took a step forward to moving on, I've come across my fair share of jackasses lol


----------



## bbkf

Yeah I always attract dicks lol but yeah at least I did it :/

Speaking of dicks I havnt herd from LOs dad since he dropped that milk off its still really upsetting me I just wanna not give a shit about him or what hes doing :/


----------



## bbkf

Yeah I always attract dicks lol but yeah at least I did it :/

Speaking of dicks I havnt herd from LOs dad since he dropped that milk off its still really upsetting me I just wanna not give a shit about him or what hes doing :/


----------



## moomin_troll

Ur bound to still care, you thought u had a life planned out together.
You didn't know he was guna be a cold hearted waste of space


----------



## Fraggles

Im single again so back on the dating scene


----------



## moomin_troll

Welcome to the mad house fraggles lol


----------



## ~RedLily~

I think I might actually get to join this thread now. I met someone last night, so a bit early to say but still it's progress :)


----------



## bbkf

Ooo where did you meet?


----------



## moomin_troll

Yay for getting out there and meeting someone, even if nothing came of it, it's all steps to getting out there and dating. 
It's not as scary as it seems


----------



## WantingABubba

Ladies, any luck with dating while pregnant? Me and FOB were never that stable to begin with, and now I'm pregnant he's done a runner :( there was someone I knew that I've always liked and he likes me too, but he told me he can't be with me because I'm pregnant. So I cut him off, lol. 

Is there no hope? Am I going to be lonely my whole pregnancy? I just feel like I'm not going to meet a man who is man enough to take on a baby that isn't theirs. I just wish I had a man I loved to share this miracle with :(


----------



## moomin_troll

While I wa pregnant men were the last thing on my mind, I wasn't interested in dating till my youngest was a year old.
But I do know a woman who met her now husband while she was pregnant.
And my now oh loves my boys, so there are men out there who will accept ur children/child because you are worth it


----------



## WantingABubba

moomin_troll said:


> While I wa pregnant men were the last thing on my mind, I wasn't interested in dating till my youngest was a year old.
> But I do know a woman who met her now husband while she was pregnant.
> And my now oh loves my boys, so there are men out there who will accept ur children/child because you are worth it

Thanks for the reply :) I guess the real issue is finding a man who thinks I'm worth it. I was upset that he used my pregnancy as an excuse not to be with me but I guess it wouldn't have worked out even if I wasn't pregnant. I need a man who sticks by me no matter what, and that includes babies.


----------



## moomin_troll

WantingABubba said:


> moomin_troll said:
> 
> 
> While I wa pregnant men were the last thing on my mind, I wasn't interested in dating till my youngest was a year old.
> But I do know a woman who met her now husband while she was pregnant.
> And my now oh loves my boys, so there are men out there who will accept ur children/child because you are worth it
> 
> Thanks for the reply :) I guess the real issue is finding a man who thinks I'm worth it. I was upset that he used my pregnancy as an excuse not to be with me but I guess it wouldn't have worked out even if I wasn't pregnant. I need a man who sticks by me no matter what, and that includes babies.Click to expand...

And you will :) since I've been dating me having two boys has never been an issue, can't say all the men were worth my time lol but I got there and so will all of us.
For now I'd say concentrate on looking after urself, being pregnant u will need to look out for number 1, I couldn't imagine dating while pregnant. I just didn't have the energy lol


----------



## WantingABubba

moomin_troll said:


> WantingABubba said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> moomin_troll said:
> 
> 
> While I wa pregnant men were the last thing on my mind, I wasn't interested in dating till my youngest was a year old.
> But I do know a woman who met her now husband while she was pregnant.
> And my now oh loves my boys, so there are men out there who will accept ur children/child because you are worth it
> 
> Thanks for the reply :) I guess the real issue is finding a man who thinks I'm worth it. I was upset that he used my pregnancy as an excuse not to be with me but I guess it wouldn't have worked out even if I wasn't pregnant. I need a man who sticks by me no matter what, and that includes babies.Click to expand...
> 
> And you will :) since I've been dating me having two boys has never been an issue, can't say all the men were worth my time lol but I got there and so will all of us.
> For now I'd say concentrate on looking after urself, being pregnant u will need to look out for number 1, I couldn't imagine dating while pregnant. I just didn't have the energy lolClick to expand...

That's good to hear :) my Mum got together with my Stepdad when I was 6 and they're still together, and he's always been like a father to me.

Yeah, I am definitely looking out for myself and all, but it would just mean so much to me to be looked after, loved and to share this with a man I care about. Plus, I want my baby to have a Dad.

I'm not going to pick just any old man, and I'm not trying to 'find' a stepdad perse, it would just be nice.

x


----------



## moomin_troll

In a perfect world that's what we all want, but as u know it doesn't always happen. 
I found being pregnant alot easier by myself then I did with my first and their dad lol 
But guess I had my son to share it all with. Do u have friends and family supporting u?


----------



## WantingABubba

moomin_troll said:


> In a perfect world that's what we all want, but as u know it doesn't always happen.
> I found being pregnant alot easier by myself then I did with my first and their dad lol
> But guess I had my son to share it all with. Do u have friends and family supporting u?

Yeah, I know, I know..

F&F support - kinda, but not really.


----------



## ~RedLily~

bbkf said:


> Ooo where did you meet?

I was just out with some friends on a night out and we ended up talking. We went out tonight and it went really well. I had such a good time :)


----------



## moomin_troll

~RedLily~ said:


> bbkf said:
> 
> 
> Ooo where did you meet?
> 
> I was just out with some friends on a night out and we ended up talking. We went out tonight and it went really well. I had such a good time :)Click to expand...

YAY! Glad u had a good night. 
I love the feeling u get after a really good date.


----------



## moomin_troll

Well some news on my part. I am actually booking a holiday with Pete, 7 months away! It's really scary. Since oh died I haven't seen the point in making long term plans, I always think something's going to go wrong. 
I have a back up plan, if we split my friend will take his place hahaha


----------



## bbkf

Oo where are you guys gunna go? Iv never actually been on holiday with a boyfriend :( I need a good holiday ha


----------



## moomin_troll

I've never been on holiday without my boys or with a bf, didn't even have a honeymoon.
Tenerife for 7 nights in an adult only hotel! Can't wait


----------



## lauram_92

That sounds so fun Moomin_troll :yipee: Fingers crossed for you :)

I have been with my boyfriend a year, in general I am so lucky to have him.. But lately we have been having a few arguments. :cry:


----------



## bbkf

Ah is it just you and Pete no boys? Should be fun! How have things been with you guys now he on his best behaviour? :p


----------



## moomin_troll

Arguments mean u care enough to fight, I'm sure ule get threw it. I had a years patch of fighting with my dh, he drove me insane! Lol

Yeah just me and Pete for 7 nights. I can't wait to sit around and do nothing in the sun. It's out of season, so no idiots off their faces pissing around. Can't wait


----------



## MommaAlexis

I'm heading on a date next week, movies and dinner, the whole shebang! haha I'll update you guys on how it went!


----------



## moomin_troll

I love dinner and a movie date! Have a good time :D


----------



## bbkf

So this guy I no (friend of a friend) started texting me a few weeks ago and it progressed to like texting every day. He would text me first saying like morning n stuff n then wed basically text most of the day n evening. He was really like oo I like you ect n basically made out like he was really interested in me im sure you no where it's going he just randomly stopped texting n dissapeared!

I dont get why guys do that its so annoying!


----------



## ~RedLily~

That's sounds so fun moomin_troll. I would love to get away for a week :)

Have a great time MommaAlexis!

bbfk that's so annoying when guys do that!

Well the guy I met turned out to be a total dick so I'm thinking of him as a practise date :lol:


----------



## moomin_troll

U can never have enough practice dates lol 

The lad I made this thread about was texting me constantly for 2 weeks, the night before our date he was texting me saying how excited he was and he couldn't wait to see me.....next day canceled and then nothing. 
This happened December. 
Fast forward to march this year I bumped into him, he told me why he'd gone all weird on me. 
Men are just *******s lol


----------



## Mummy1995

How do you distinguish between liking someone as a really good friend or liking them as in you could see yourself being with them?! X


----------



## moomin_troll

My theory is, when u look at him, do u want to rip his clothes off? If not then just friends hahaha

Although I did end up sleeping with someone who was just a friend, bad idea. I didn't even see him that way. Oh well lol


----------



## bbkf

moomin_troll said:


> U can never have enough practice dates lol
> 
> The lad I made this thread about was texting me constantly for 2 weeks, the night before our date he was texting me saying how excited he was and he couldn't wait to see me.....next day canceled and then nothing.
> This happened December.
> Fast forward to march this year I bumped into him, he told me why he'd gone all weird on me.
> Men are just *******s lol



So weird what was his reason?? I really dont understand it one of the last messages he sent was something along the lines of like oh you'll want to keep me but I dont mind kinda thing and he was rvrn saying shit like oh dont rule me out before iv had a good chance n stuff like really making out like it was going somewhere then literally the next day he ignored me ever since!! Any ideas?? Men do the weirdest things im over it obviously but I actually liked him n he was making out like he really liked me so annoying :/


----------



## moomin_troll

The lad I made this thread about seemed to really like me, and I really liked him :(
I saw him after a night out n I was going home...he came back to mine hahaha
He said that morning checked his bank n hadn't been paid but didn't wana seem like a bum, he didn't mind that I had kids but got worried because I was a widow. He just didn't think I'd be as ok with it all as I am. 
He kept saying he regretted it ever since, wished he had gone on that date. We have so much in common and get on so well, helps he's gorgeous lol my heart still skips a beat when I see him


----------



## bbkf

Ah I see ill never understand men they do the weirdest things so annoying


----------



## Mummy1995

moomin_troll said:


> My theory is, when u look at him, do u want to rip his clothes off? If not then just friends hahaha
> 
> Although I did end up sleeping with someone who was just a friend, bad idea. I didn't even see him that way. Oh well lol

Hahaha! Oh I'm not sure. Not really ready for anything like that yet! Just want to get to know him more and hang out. But he seems to be dropping hints so I don't want to lead him on if he likes me and I decide I don't like him :( x


----------



## moomin_troll

Do you atleast find urself physically attracted to him? Some say that doesn't matter, but in the real world, yes it does. 
Attraction is very important.
I met a lad that to look at I didn't fancy him, but we got talking and I instantly did, he touched my arm and sent shivers down my spine.

If he's a nice man, I say go with the flow


----------



## bbkf

I agree with moomin butttt my first ever boyfriend I didnt find him acctractive at all at first but then I fell in love with him n thought he was gorgeous so I think if you dont initially wanna rio someones clothes off sometimes it can change when you get to no them if that makes sense!


----------



## moomin_troll

Hello ladies, Long time no speak how is everyone?


----------



## Mummy1995

Good thanks you? Went out last night with that guy and a couple of his friends. Was good :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Sorry it didn't show me anyone else had commented on here! Hope it's going well still!

Well I made this thread this time last year, it was a year yesterday that the lad I made this thread about canceled our date lol and wow what a year it's been! 
Dating, attracting weirdos, making mistakes and having fun. I've now been with Pete 7 months! It's crazy! 
Although thinking back to the dating days, I miss it. 
It's so much fun getting chatted up, then texting and then the dates that follow. 
Hope all you lovely ladies are ok. I want to hear your stories :)


----------



## Mummy1995

Not much changed here. Still talking to that guy :) he's lovely but honestly even a year on I don't think I'm ready for a relationship. I'm still way too hurt and scared thanks to my lovely fob x


----------



## moomin_troll

I went through a questionable phase earlier on this year, I didn't want a relationship, I've seen how bad it can go. So I had a slutty moment of madness hahaha
If your not feeling it, then your not. Don't push yourself. 
It might be he's just not the right person that makes u want to want a relationship


----------



## Mummy1995

Hahaha! I'm too scared to have a moment of sluttiness too in case another baby pops out!! 

I'm not sure. There's something about him that I have a massive soft spot for. But I think it may just be that he would be everything I'd want (or at least I think I want) in a partner! He gets on great with Isabella, he's always willing to talk to me about anything, he works 2 jobs and he helps me out with things. Even of they're jus little things, they make a big difference to me. Like he bought us some Disney DVDs which cost like £13+ each!! Because I couldn't afford them :) x


----------



## Desi's_lost

Mummy1995 said:


> Not much changed here. Still talking to that guy :) he's lovely but honestly even a year on I don't think I'm ready for a relationship. I'm still way too hurt and scared thanks to my lovely fob x

It took me a good two years to really be ready to date after FOB. Take your time, you'll know if anything you cant turn down comes around!


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah I was single for 2 years. I was terrified of dtd, but when it happened it wasn't too bad lol I've always been abit of a bloke when it comes to sex, so my madness was easy for me haha
Met Pete and didn't think I'd change my mind and just wanted some fun. But within 2 weeks I really liked him, been with him practically everyday since.
Even the smallest bit of hell makes a huge difference when ur a single mum. 
Pete does so much for us, hard to think back to how it was when everything was me


----------



## Mummy1995

Omg girls. I think we might be getting together (soon!). I'm so nervous and excited haha! X


----------



## moomin_troll

Details? Lol


----------



## Mummy1995

He's dropped some massssive hints. Saying we need to have a serious discussion at some point about 'us' and that he can't wait to spend more time with me. Suggested we go watch a film so we can 'cuddle' and called me beautiful :D 

Also came home from holiday to find more Disney DVDs he'd got for Isabella (like 5 more!) which was a nice surprise! :) xx


----------



## moomin_troll

Aww bless him. 
I'm impulsive, I've never really just dated someone for very long before we've been a couple lol


----------



## Mummy1995

I've never gone on a date really! I like the idea of it though! :) x


----------



## moomin_troll

Shame on this man! He needs to take u on a date! 
I went on two really good dates with a lad I dated jan last year, he turned out to be a weirdo lol but I'd never been on a date before and it was really nice


----------



## Mummy1995

Went on a date today ;)


----------



## moomin_troll

Woooo details lol


----------



## Mummy1995

Haha! It was lovely. Complete disaster but lovely! I was supposed to meet him half way between mine and his (he lives an hour away). But with the weather the trees were blocked the roads so I couldn't get there!! Couldn't find a diversion either. So ended up having to ask him to come to my town which he did. We then went to get food, neither of us liked what we ordered :') then we were gonna bowling but it started tipping it down with rain and hail!! Which caused my white top to become orange/red from my hair dye running and also see through!! So we decided to go to soft play(Isabella was with us) as the bowling was 15min walk. Then when we said bye we had a cheeky quick kiss! 

He's really nice :) gets on well with Isabella and has a son the same age as her. He's 22 next month so a bit older but I like that! :) and he's rather good looking  x


----------



## moomin_troll

I always went for older men, until I started to date again and only the young'ens would chat me up hahaha
Oh god I'd have been mortified with the hair dye situation, but atleast it didn't ruin the date so obviously u both like each other.


----------



## pandacub

I love this thread, it is giving me hope!
Me and fob broke up in August, he started seeing someone else right 
away (charmer)
Well, I had sex 
on the weekend (it was my 
birthday and birthday sex is 
mandatory ;)) and up until then I 
hadnt even thought about getting 
with or seeing someone else. Now
that ive got that 'first sex since 
fob' out of the way (which i was 
dreading tbh) I actually feel like I might be someing akin to being ready to date.
I like being single mostly, but it gets lonely. And me and ex were in a ldr for the last 3 years, and I only really saw him once or twice a month so I feel like ive been on my own for the last 3 1/2 years.

How do you find it dating/being with someone when you have a LO in general?


----------



## moomin_troll

I've never had a problem with it. Every lad I have dated haven't been bothered by the fact I have children, my passion killer is the dead husband hahaha
The first sex is the most scary! Especially for me, I had been totally alone for over 2 years. 
Had afew mistakes and god what was I thinking moments lol
But it's nice to also feel likes woman, not just a mum.
Been with my oh now for 9 months. He adores my boys and is a huge part of our lives now. 
Have fun with dating. Glad the threads inspired you :D


----------



## beanzz

Aw I love this thread..

I've been on a few dates with a sweet guy, seeing him again next Sat. Super excited :D such a good feeling when guys are cool with you already having a child


----------



## moomin_troll

It's fun to get out and date. And is surprising how many men really aren't bothered that we have children. 
I'm pleased to say my oh loves me boys, and treats them like they were his own.

Can not believe how much my life has changed the past year, and now I love hearing about other ladies just starting out :)


----------

