# First time moms - TTC after a loss



## showlah8

Hi ladies, I just joined the site a few days ago. I lost my precious baby boy on 18th August @ 22 weeks ( exactly 4 months to his EDD). It has been a struggle and i think I have only recently come to terms with the fact that it actually happened bu I thank God for all the love and support He has shown me through friends and family. I started this thread so i could have some buddies that are in a similar situation as me.

I am not a mother yet - hence the topic first time moms but I am TTC. I am CD39 ( counting from the day of delivery) and I think AF has paid me a visit as I had some brown spotting this evening when I wiped. In a way I am relieved cos it means I will ovulate soon and I am likely to get pregnant in a few weeks.:happydance: I did start to TTC right away once the bleeding stopped and i have taken 4 pregnancy tests which have all been negative. So heres to hoping and praying that we all get pregnant soon, have wonderful pregnancies, carry our babies to term and bring our lovely babies into this world.


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## HopingCarter

FIRST AND FOREMOST, I am so sorry to hear of your loss so late in your pregnancy :hugs: I feel so ashamed of myself for being so down about my MC at 11+2, and here I find women who were near birth and still didn't get to have their blessing!! I truly do hope you get your blessing soon!!!! 

I hope I can join you on that wait, b/c this would be my first :baby: too. I'm currently waiting on my first AF to show up. It's only been 18 days since my D&C so I'm hoping she comes soon so that I can get going on trying too.


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## babydust1516

Hi ladies...i would love to join you on this journey...i believe i miscarried on Saturday (I am waiting for blood work to come back tomorrow morning to confirm that my levels went down). I took a Clear Blue digital weeks predictor and my weeks have started to go down...my hubby and I are very upset, BUT we weren't that far along and we now have a little angel watching over us...I am sorry for both of your losses. We want to try again ASAP! I would love to get pregnant right away. Needless to say, this will be our first and we are very excited for the journey we hope to take very soon.


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## HCas

I hope all you lovely ladies get your miracles. Don't know if I really fit here since both my miscarriages were so long ago, but I just wanted to send all of you my love and prayers! I'm sorry for all your losses :hugs:


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## HopingCarter

Thanks and I'm so sorry for your losses as well HCas :hugs:. I hope you get to join us. Even though this road of TTC is kind of hard, it's always great to have women to share your experiences with who actually understand


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## HCas

Thank you ^^ And I completely share those feelings. I would have gone crazy and given up by now if it wasn't for all the support for the ladies on here ^^


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## babydust1516

Thanks to both of you ladies for your support...hopefully we will have our sticky little beans soon...i can't wait for my rainbow baby...i want to be a mommy so bad and my husband is ready to be a daddy...i think it broke my heart even more when he was staying so positive until the MC was actually confirmed and I could see in his eyes how upset he was...he was so strong for me and I wouldn't be where I am today without him... :)


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## HCas

I think there needs to be a huge "thank you" thread for all the supportive husbands out there. If it weren't for them I'm sure we'd all be six foot under with stress and worry by now.


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## babydust1516

I completely agree with you on that!


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## HopingCarter

That is an awesome suggestion HCas!! I know I would make one for my hubby, because he has truly showed me emotions and support that I've never seen from him before. He's always been a great person, don't get me wrong, but ever since the MC he's been extremely attentive. When he finally broke down and cried about it I was so shocked b/c even though I knew he was hurt, I would've never imagined seeing him that distressed! He's the main reason why I was able to move past it without going :wacko:, so to at least give him that appreciation and comfort back through recognition, I would be obliged to support that thread:thumbup:


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## HCas

Haha I will have to get that up and going then. Just not sure if it should be posted here in the loss section or if there is another spot best suited for it.Probably here right?


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## HopingCarter

LOL! I thought you were joking haha! I mean I definitely meant what I said and I would wholeheartedly support it b/c my baby deserves his recognition, I just didn't think we could do that. 
Now that I think about though, it could be posted here. I would title it something like "Giving honor and thanks to the supportive DHs for being the light in this dark time" lol or something like that.


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## babydust1516

I love that idea and the title sounds awesome!


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## HCas

I'll try to get it up tomorrow then. Right now I am in a ton of pain so I'm just gonna head to bed.

But on other topics how are you ladies doing lately?


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## HopingCarter

Aw I hope you feel better HCas :flower: No rush on the thread though lol....I showed him enough "appreciation" last night and this morning so that should him hold over for a couple of days :winkwink:

Afm--as if that wasn't enough, we are celebrating our 1/2 year anniversary tomorrow 10/9! We gave ourselves an excuse to spend some quality time, which has been much needed, and it looks like it's going to be an every year thing. Just to ground ourselves and our marriage, and make sure we're honoring each other first.

How are you ladies today? Hoping you're feeling better than yesterday HCas...


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## tennisgirl

hi - did the doctors give a reason as to why you lost the baby at 22 weeks :( i'm so sorry!

also has anyone gone back to temping? i had a miscarriage at 5 weeks on 9/8 and since then my temp has been all over the place, lower than i ever seen it since i started temping. wonder if that is normal?

i've also had rEALLY long cycles like 50 days....55 days...thats why i was put on clomid, was Oing on my own, but cycles were so long. sure enough it knocked my cycle down to 28 days and on the 2nd round of clomid got pregnant. 

wondering if i'll go back to those super long cycles like i was before taking the clomid?? right now on day 29 and no sign of AF!

thanks ladies for any insight


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## HopingCarter

Hi Tennisgirl!! Sorry you had to go through that tragedy too. I'm glad you're back TTC though. I have never temped, no lie, so I'm sorry I don't have any info on that. I'm so dumbfounded as to when and how you temp, what thermometer is the best etc etc, so I just don't bother lol. I'm gonna use some OPKs to detect ovulation after my first AF and just let nature take it's course b/c otherwise I'll be more crazy than I already am if things don't look "normal" or what I think is normal haha


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## HCas

I temped for awhile but my temp is always all over the place. Never knew if it was because of my mcs or something else since I didn't temp before them. Sorry I can't be of more help tennisgirl and sorry for your loss.

HopingCarter, glad you two are having fun ^^ I'm doing slightly better but only because I went to the ER and they put me on some strong medicines. I apparently have a cyst larger than my ovary right now, which is causing my period to be delayed and intense pain that even morphine didn't fully get rid of. Blah wish my body would just work right for once.


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## babydust1516

I am so sorry you aren't feeling well! I hope things clear up for you soon! 

I'm doing well. Just anxious to start testing already but it's easy too early. We are covering every other day so hopefully I'll have a Bfp this month :). 

I've never temped. I used OPKs once and it was right on but I don't want to spend the money honestly. I feel like doing it every other night is going to do just as much as if I tested. :)


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## HCas

Haha glad you're doing well. I sending you all the baby dust and good wishes I can!

Also sorry I haven't been on much. Tons of pain due to cysts and the pain killer stopped working so I had to go back to the ER early yesterday morning. Now they have me on bed rest for a few days and my obgyn may extend that as well as keep me from work for a while until we know if I have to go in for surgery or not.


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## HopingCarter

Hi Ladies

HCas, I'm sorry to have to go through that type of pain :hugs::hugs: It really does suck being a girl sometimes. I hope they can get it resolved for you. Just take it easy as best as you can hun. You will be in prayers

babydust, FX for your bfp and sticky bean!! I'm not a "tester" either, mainly because I think I'll do something wrong or it won't turn out right and I'll just panic more lol, but I understand how you feel. I was going to do the opks for the first time to know when we needed to pick up our frequency of BDing, but that's about all. Every other day was our plan as well because that's what my OB suggested. I know once I start buying packs and packs of opks or hpts, I won't stop and we're on budget right now so my DH wouldn't be too happy about that lol

AFM--AF finally came Friday evening in full effect. I knew I wouldn't be lucky enough to get the "light and problem-free" first AF. I've always had heavy ones so it was inevitable. Granted these cramps are much worse than any other ones I remember and my ibuprofen isn't working on them like normal, but it should be over in a few days (hopefully). CD4 today, so we'll..


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## babydust1516

Stupid AF! My cramps are usually very intense when she comes around...only thing that really works is a heating pad for me...I just bought three packs of HPTs haha...I usually don't do that but I know I am going to be testing like crazy when the time comes and if I get a positive then I am sure I'll be testing every day to make sure the line keeps getting darker!


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## Laska5

Hoping to be a mommy as well one day. My first pregnancy ended early August around 7-8 weeks. Had a d&C on August 15th & my body still hasn't healed completely- having to take progesterone this week!


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## HopingCarter

babydust1516 said:


> Stupid AF! My cramps are usually very intense when she comes around...only thing that really works is a heating pad for me...I just bought three packs of HPTs haha...I usually don't do that but I know I am going to be testing like crazy when the time comes and if I get a positive then I am sure I'll be testing every day to make sure the line keeps getting darker!

:rofl: I hear ya 100%!! I told myself my limit is going to be 10 each (hpts and opks) this month! I'm going to follow the SMEP as recommended, and then for the HPTs I was going to test at 11,12,13,14,15 dpo like I did with my last pregnancy when I got my bfps, and then if I get a bfp use the other ones to confirm then that's it! If not I'm saving them for next month. I have to limit myself, because last time I went crazy with POAS lol!! That was my first time being pregnant so I peed on every HPT I saw in the stores (after I bought them of course) lol...

Laska, how is the progesterone working for you? Has the bleeding stopped or decreased at all?


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## HCas

SO EXCITED! Got my first confirmed ovulation ever. My obgyn says if I don't get visited by AF by the 27th I can start testing. And since hearing that I have gone a little baby crazy XD

Laska, Sorry to hear about your loss. Hope the progesterone helps. Sending tons of baby dust your way.


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## HopingCarter

Woohoo for Ov HCas!! I hope the :witch: stays away!! I'm sending dust your way too


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## HCas

Thanks ^^ This is the first confirmed ov since starting to try. I literally jumped when she told me... which was a bad idea since I was still hurting XD


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## HopingCarter

HCas what has been your method? Even though you haven't been ov, were you still just BDing just in case :winkwink: and how often did you do it?


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## aPharmD

hi ladies! just jumping in here! I had my D&C after a MMC on 8/20. I should have been about 12 weeks. this was my first cycle TTC again and unfortunately ended in BFN with AF starting again today. just hoping to make a few friends in my boat. Its nice to have the support and to obsess with others who get it (my DH does not lol). and yea I went POAS crazy this cycle. so mad at myself for how much I spent on them!


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## HCas

Welcome to the crew a PharmD. Its nice having people to talk to and get excited with and depressed with. We're happy to have you.

Carter, Well..... We tried temping at first and got confused and angry. Then we tried OPKs and got like 15 positives in a cycle before being told that they aren't that accurate for women with PCOS. So then we tried the every other day approach. That was great :thumbup: but it wore the DH out pretty fast and then it became just a chore. So then we went with the idea that our bodies would know and just BDed whenever we were in the mood. 

That lasted until Monday when we found out for sure about the ov then we did it every night to now.... Now we got my niece so we have to give it a break for a day XD


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## aPharmD

Anyone in here temp and think it helps? I'm not sure if it's going to make me crazier and more obsessed or if it will actually give me good insight into my cycle...


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## aPharmD

HCas today I cried Bc I got my period. Like I get no girl wants her af but is it something a normal sane person would cry over? And after my d&c I begged to get it back. Just hard knowing I have to wait another month to try again. It seems like forever when you are ttc!


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## HopingCarter

Hi aPharmD, you are sane lol!! Any woman that's not TTC would not cry, but I think we are the exception because we're actually trying to get pregnant so I think crying is appropriate when AF comes. That just lets me know how passionate you are about being a mommy soon! This is going to be my first cycle after the MC and we start our SMEP on friday (CD8) and if it doesn't work I might cry too. 
I don't temp or chart, but I do see that it helps a lot of women on here. I've never did it so I wouldn't even know how to anyway. I normally would just track my periods. 

Well I definitely have my FX for you HCas, and I'm sending you buckets of :dust: GO :spermy::spermy: GO

Afm--Me and Hubby couldn't hold out until Friday. I swear to you ladies, as soon as I sat on the bed he was like "_so when do we start_?" Sooooo we decided to DTD last night. It wasn't like we were adding it to the plan, we were just both in the mood....BAD. We tried to not do it but, oh well. I just hope this doesn't affect our plan to start our every other day method tomorrow. Hubby said it wouldn't "_trust me_".. so I trust he'll still be ready to go.


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## HCas

aPharmD, you are not insane :hugs: I know I cried the first twenty times and I most likely will every time. I actually cried the first period after my first MC and I wasn't even trying back then. Its completely normal. Specially for us since we are wanting a baby so bad. 


As for my update... I'm 3dpo and yesterday I had light pink when wiping. Today I woke up to light bleeding and cramps. Don't know what to think. You can't have AF show up this soon can you? I thought maybe implantation bleeding, but I'm not sure if you can have bleeding like this for it. When looking it up on google I either find implantation bleeding or chemical pregnancy. Not sure what to think and I can't get in to see a doctor for a month. What do you ladies think?


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## HopingCarter

HCas I'm thinking, and hoping, IB that's for sure. When is AF suppose to show up? Because if I'm not mistaken IB can start anywhere betweeen 7 and 12 dpo or so, so if you're in that range, we could be looking at a BFP


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## HCas

The doc said I should be expecting it around the 27th making me only like 3dpo. I really hope that's all it is. I'd be ecstatic! As of right now DH suggested we go to a walk-in and get their opinion


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## HopingCarter

It wouldn't hurt to check it out! I sure would if had the option


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## aPharmD

I have read that some people get light bleeding with ovulation. I would guess it's not a cp that soon after ovulation. I had ib on 5dpo last time. I hope it is ib for you! But could still be too soon for that. Might just be hormones.


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## HCas

Turned out to be a ruptured cyst, though the doctor was a bit dumbfounded at the light pink from yesterday though they said most likely it was ov bleeding.


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## HopingCarter

Oh no HCas!! Did the rupturing damage anything?? I hope not. That sucks..


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## DBZ34

Hi ladies! I hope you don't mind me popping in. My name is Ella and I'm TTC #1 after 4 early mc's. 

I thought I would chime in about the temping. I've been temping for a really long time. Like over 3 years. It's actually really helpful for me. I know my body really well by now. Like, I know that right before I ov, my temps stay about the same for a couple of days, so I know that's when DH and I should get our BD on (I used my chart to predict ov before I started using opks for the SMEP). 

Then after ov, I have a reliable rise in temps, so I know exactly when I ovulated each cycle. Takes out all of the guesswork in the TWW because I know what DPO I am and when I should start testing or expecting AF (there's a drop in temp that happens right before AF shows). I think I would hate not temping at this point, just because I like knowing where I am in my cycle and I really like knowing when AF is about to show so I can be prepared, mentally and with tampons.

It also helps because you learn how long your Luteal Phase is (the time between ovulation and your period) and so you know if you're actually late for your period, since it is usually the same, plus or minus a day. Some women go off of cycle length, but delayed ov or early ov can change that, so it's not as reliable. There have been a couple of cycles where I geared up to ov and didn't and temping was really good at catching that, so DH and I knew to keep BDing. And temping actually helped me find out that I had a luteal phase defect (LP shorter than 10 days) for a couple of months, so I took B-complex to help and it has.

And your chart can sometimes show you if you're pregnant before you test, just due to the trend of temps rising in the second half of the LP. Plus you can also chart your symptoms to see if they're similar each cycle or if things change a lot. 

After an mc, my temps were all over the place, but it's not the actual numbers that matter, it's the trend, so when my body was finally ready to ovulate again, I got my rise in temps, just like I normally do, and FF was able to detect ov easily. 

But, temping isn't for everyone. I just like having as much information as I can and it does wonders for my piece of mind. 

If you're interested, find yourself a BBT thermometer. It's got two numbers after the decimal point. (So, 98.34 instead of 98.3) and sign up for Fertility Friend. You can click on the little chart in my siggy if you're curious what it looks like. You get a month of the VIP trial for free and that has a lot of analysis types stuff, but it's not really helpful until you have a couple of months under your belt. The basic FF is still free and it still tracks your cycles and predicts ov just fine. 

Sorry for the long post. I like to talk about temping. It might be a disease. ;)


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## tcinks

Hi ladies, I'm new to these threads and glad I found it. 

I lost my baby boy 2 days ago on October 15. It was so unexpected, apparently my cervix wasn't strong enough to hold him in at 14 weeks.

I know it will take time to heal and deal with this loss, but my husband and I are so desperately wanting another baby. This one was our first, and it was not at all difficult to conceive him (the first month we tried I got pregnant). I'm hoping that's how it will be with the next one. And now that I know what I'm at risk for, I can monitor things more closely. 

Once bleeding stops we will likely not wait to start trying. I've heard/read about waiting vs not waiting, and see no reason not to start trying again as soon as possible! 

Anyway, I'm just looking for other ladies who may be on the same journey so that we will be able to support and encourage one another. :)


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## aPharmD

:hi:

Thanks DBZ and welcome!! I already bought the thermometer for like $6. Ive been using it the last 2 days. although i just found out apparently im supposed to use it at the same time everyday? I get up at different times in the morning (within an hour of each other) but im not sure how much this will throw things off? 

Tcinks- so sorry to hear about your loss. i just joined last week but am finding alot of comfort and support here on these threads. i didnt ovulate until about 6 weeks post D&C (my hCG took about 3.5-4 weeks to come down). but everyone is different you will find! good luck to you!


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## DBZ34

aPharmD said:


> :hi:
> 
> Thanks DBZ and welcome!! I already bought the thermometer for like $6. Ive been using it the last 2 days. although i just found out apparently im supposed to use it at the same time everyday? I get up at different times in the morning (within an hour of each other) but im not sure how much this will throw things off?
> 
> Tcinks- so sorry to hear about your loss. i just joined last week but am finding alot of comfort and support here on these threads. i didnt ovulate until about 6 weeks post D&C (my hCG took about 3.5-4 weeks to come down). but everyone is different you will find! good luck to you!

Thanks for the welcome, aPharm! 

Yeah, you're supposed to temp at the same time each morning, but I've found that it really doesn't have much of an effect on things for me. I used to adjust my temp when I got up earlier/later, but then I stopped and I still have reliable charts. I don't think it throws things off too much, especially if it's within the hour. Your temp naturally rises during the day, but it doesn't go up so much that FF would think you ovulated, so it's not too much of a concern. 

If it's way out (like 1pm when you usually temp at 7am), you could change the time on the chart input and it will give you an open circle and take that into account when analyzing your chart. But, usually I just put in the same time, no matter what time I temp (unless I had a bad night sleeping). It just makes things much easier and it doesn't seem to make too much of a difference. 

I temp at around the same time during the week (within 30 minutes), but on the weekends, I just temp when I get up, which is usually much later. As long as it's after 3 hours of sleep, it should be okay.

Since it's the trend that matters (a rise of .30 for at least 3 days to confirm ov, staying high after ovulation, and then dropping before AF) changes in daily temps don't really matter as much. Your temps should still be doing certain things that FF can track. 

Try not to worry too much about it. It doesn't sound like there's enough time difference in your temps to make a difference in cycle prediction. Good luck with the temping! :)


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## snookyjenn

Hi, I need some help.
Myself And my husband lost our daughter, I was 7 months ans 5 days when she died January 11, 2014. Its been such a hard road I have my ups and downs and now suffer from anxiety. I always have my menstrual cycle on the 17th of the month never a day late. I woke up today with a tad bit of cramps so I thought I was about to start my period but now the 18th and have very light pink and brown discharge. I cant tell if my back hurts because my back always does. Im just worried. I dont think I can handle lossing another of my babys


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## HopingCarter

First and foremost, Welcome DBZ34, tcinks, and snookyjenn. I am deeply sorry for your losses, and I just wish you all the best luck on this journey TTC. I hope that this thread can bring comfort and confidence as it's done for me!! :dust::dust::dust:

Snooky, I know it's scary and it's hard thinking about the reasons of why you didn't a chance to bring home your baby girl and thinking it's going to happen to the next baby, but having faith is the key. You have to have faith if you are going to TTC, and I had to learn that same thing because I was convinced my body was a failure! You are not alone. I think the concern will always be there, but please don't let it stress you out because stress and worry is not good when TTC. I know easier said than done. Nothing will ever replace your precious baby girl, but just have faith that as long as you are trying, and you can get pregnant, there is always hope...


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## HCas

Hey everyone and welcome newcomers!

Sorry I haven't been on much. Was on bed rest for a day then my laptop broke then I had to focus on making cameos for my shop. 

I'm now at 7dpo and as far as I know the rupture hasn't damaged anything any more than it already is. It just hurt really bad. Not sure if it means I'm out this month though. Haven't been able to talk to the doc about it. 

Anyways how are you ladies doing? Any updates?


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## HopingCarter

HCas, you are still in my prayer hun, and I hope you get well soon. FX that the rupture didn't hurt your chances and there's a strong sticky in there!

No updates for me. I'm in the SMEP stages right now of my cycle, CD12 to be exact so going to BD tonight, but that's about it (even though that's exciting in itself :dance:)


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## HCas

That's the fun part of this crazy ride XD

DH has been impatient on my end. He wants me to test every day it seems and we still have a week before anything would show :dohh:

But now it seems like if we do conceive we'll be having two babies. We may be adopting in May as well. That should also be an interesting ride.


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## HopingCarter

That's good that he wants you to test everyday in a sense lol. That shows how much he wants it too!! I'm so glad you guys are choosing the adoption method as well. There are a lot of children out there who would be so privileged and blessed to get you guys as parents. You guys rock!!! I have thought about adoption too, but I'm just not 100% sure at this point. I don't know what's holding me back....


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## HCas

I understand. I felt like adopting was kind of... second place though many say it doesn't feel that way and I know it isn't really. But this.... opportunity has been falling in our laps for three kids now. 

My sister is having her third baby as a single mother and the first two times she thought of adopting them out, and we almost got to adopt my nephew last time, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. This time however she says she just can't do it and she's not sure if she can bring herself to raise another kid, since she never wanted to be a mom. So I talked about maybe letting us adopt the baby since she is thinking of putting it up for adoption anyways. 

We have been teetering on the adoption thought for a few months now and I think even if we don't adopt my sister's baby we might go to an adoption agency next. Though my husband is a bit afraid since I told him if we do that we are adopting siblings, and he's not sure how many siblings I mean lol


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## HopingCarter

I think that's even better, to adopt your sister's kid!!! Not that going to agency is not good, but I think it increases your chances of a successful adoption when it's family doesn't it? If she doesn't give the baby up for adoption, then I'm sure you should still have a good chance getting a child through an agency though. Hopefully, you get this BFP first lol


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## tcinks

It's been 8 days. I tested this morning and was hoping the line would be faded, but no...still very positive. :( I know it's still soon and it can take weeks to get hcg down, I just hoped it would happen sooner. I'm so ready to try again.


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## HopingCarter

I'm so sorry it hasn't gone down yet. It should be soon for you. Just give your body some time, because it was natural. :hugs: tcinks


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## tcinks

Thank you. Hmmm if I'd had a d&c would it have been quicker? Not that I wanted that, I'm just wondering.

How are you today?


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## HopingCarter

I'm awesome. Thank you for asking. And D&C is not necessarily better because it does thin out your endometrium lining pretty thin which requires you to have to wait for that first AF just to be safe, but it does make everything less painful since you're not passing the fetus on your own and it speeds up the process of HCG leveling if its 100% successful.


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## aPharmD

I POAS 3.5 weeks after my D&C (I was 11.5 weeks) and I still had positives. Ive read a lot of people who have positives for 6-8+weeks after D&C. everyone is so different in how quickly they get rid of the hcg, when they get AF, etc. So while a D&C may speed up the process, I think most people would still get positives for the first 2 weeks at least. 

How is everyone doing today?! I haven't been on here all week.


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## HCas

d&c terrify me. I researched it not that long ago and haven't been able to finish the article I found on it.

How is everyone today? Any updates?


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## aPharmD

Nothing new here. Waiting to O. Took vitamin b6 this month in hopes of extending luteal phase. Cd13 and got a high on my monitor this morning. 

What's new with everyone else?!


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## HCas

I'm just waiting to test now. af suppose to show today. Been nauseous with mild cramping since yesterday.


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## aPharmD

Good luck HCas!!!


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## DBZ34

Hope you get your BFP, HCas!! 



AFM- I'm either 10 or 12DPO today. I agreed with FF assessment of when I ovulated until I started spotting. I think that I'm 12DPO, so AF is probably right around the corner. On the upside, we've got an appointment on Thursday to meet with the OB/GYN here and get our recurrent m/c testing on track again. So hopefully we won't have to wait too long to figure out what's going on.


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## HCas

Welp got a BFN but tomorrow I'm calling an RE to schedule an appointment. They'll do ll the testing and everything to see if there is anything else preventing us from getting pregnant and tell us what to do next. 

Kinda disappointing but oh well:shrug:


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## aPharmD

Good luck HCas!! How many dpo are you?


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## HCas

I'm 15 dpo now. Still no sign of AF but that's not new. Monday I go to the RE to start looking at infertility :cry:

I'm actually really scared.


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## aPharmD

Well that sure stinks! Howeverrrr... At least maybe that doctor can help though! It's always good to have answers.


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## DBZ34

HCas said:


> I'm 15 dpo now. Still no sign of AF but that's not new. Monday I go to the RE to start looking at infertility :cry:
> 
> I'm actually really scared.

Try not to worry about it. This of it as a way to get answers. I've been going to the doc about infertility for almost a year now. My clinic helped me get pregnant after a 2 year period of nothing after my first loss. I credit them with helping to jump start my fertility again. Now we're going in for RMC help, so I'm hoping it will lead to our first take home baby. 

If you have any questions about the whole process, I'd be happy to answer them, if you think it will ease any of your fears. :)


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## HCas

Thanks guys :hugs:

DBZ I wouldn't know where to start! I'm worried about asking the wrong questions or not remembering to say certain things.... I also over research so I'm terrified that they'll go "Welp can't do anything but use the big needle and pull those eggies out." I realize I am doing this to myself but I have really worked myself up. Never thought I'd be at this point at only 22 ya know.


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## aPharmD

HCas, maybe try writing down some of your questions before you go in and that way you can make sure not to forget anything. I did that for my post d&c appt and I'm glad I did. Have you tried any fertility meds yet? There's a lot of things to try before ivf so don't lose hope or get yourself too worked up! And I research everrrrrything! It's not a bad thing to be informed!


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## HopingCarter

Sorry for your complications HCas!! I will be praying for you and I hope the Docs figure it out for you. Don't give up honey like aPharmD said. FX'd for a good outcome love :flower:


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## HCas

Thanks guys ^^

Happy Halloween!


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## tcinks

Hey ladies, any of you had to take cytotec to help pass the remaining product? I had some extreme bleeding and was rushed to the ER last night. They said they still saw something leftover. My hcg is down to 300, so I know it mostly worked itself out so I really didn't want the d and c like they suggested. My obgyn agreed the medicine might be best. I took 400 mg vaginally about two hours ago. Nothing happening yet. I pushed it as far as I could...is it possible it's not in far enough or does it just take a while?


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## Stacyb782

Hi all...I'm going to join you if you don't mind. I'm scheduled for a d and c on Monday. Blighted ovum. This is my second misscarriage, my first was in March of this year at 10 weeks. It's been a rough road, but I just want to have a baby so bad I can't wait to start trying again.

Hubby and I are struggling with why this keeps happening and it's so hard to stay optomistic about the future. I'm going the d and c route as my misscarriage at 10 weeks was natural and the most painful and horrific thing I have ever been through. I know that this would be physically easier because I was only measuring 5+4, but emotionally I need to start moving on.

I am so sorry to hear about all of your losses and I hope that we can all move to through the journey of having our first lo together.


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## HCas

@tcinks Sorry I can't help there. I hope everything worked out. If it didn't however I would call your doctor. They might be able to shine some light on it.

@Stacy Welcome to our little family and sorry about your losses. I hope everything goes smoothly and you can start trying again quickly.


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## MJsBabyShaw

Hello, think I might join too - I wanted to find some ladies who are TTC #1 like me...I think TTC when you don't already have children is a different experience. 

A little about me - I'm turning 34 next week and celebrating 5 years with DH in two weeks. We starting TTC in Feb this year and I got pregnant on the first try, but m/c just a week later, so I was 5 wks. We tried unsuccessfully for another 5 months. 

I had my CD3 blood work done and found out that my FSH was 15 (which is bad). After I got that test result I started doing acupuncture & Chinese herbs. On the advice of my acupuncturist, we stopped trying for 2 months while she worked on getting my cycles healthy. We just tried again in Oct but BFN...CD1 is today. 

Surprisingly this is the first month that I haven't cried on CD1...probably because we are going to Napa in a week where I will be enjoying plenty of wine! I was sort of stressing out that if I did get my BFP right before Napa that I'd be worried about m/c early again the whole time we are in Napa (plus of course I wouldn't be drinking, which kind of defeats the point of going!).

Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself. Hopefully we will all get our take-home babies soon. 2014 has not been a good year for me and I'm just hoping that next year will bring some better luck.


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## MJsBabyShaw

Stacy, just wanted to say sorry about your miscarriages - wishing you a speedy recovery after your D&C on Monday. Sounds like 2014 has not been good to you either...looking forward to 2015. As my DH told me "Just wait - 2015 will be good." I sure hope he's right!


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## Stacyb782

Thanks MJ...2014 has been rough. Moved to Texas from Michigan for hubby's new job in August, grandma died in August as well. Hubby and I have been married just over a year, so I know this isn't what either of us thought we would be going through. All my years growing up I thought having a baby would be so easy. Just dtd with hubby and that's it. 

Sorry for my ramble. I'm so sorry for your loss too!! Hoping 2015 is better for both of us!!


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## HCas

Hi there MJ welcome to the group. Sorry about your losses. Hope you have fun in Napa though! Sounds fun.


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## aPharmD

welcome! I know I'm going to try really hard not to cry if af comes again this month. I'm currently in my 2ww at 4 dpo. I hate this wait more than anything!!


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## MJsBabyShaw

aPharmD said:


> welcome! I know I'm going to try really hard not to cry if af comes again this month. I'm currently in my 2ww at 4 dpo. I hate this wait more than anything!!

I get really crazy :wacko: during the TWW...very emotional and I am always symptoms spotting, riding the roller coaster of "I just know I'm pregnant - this is my month!" to " ughhhh...this is NEVER going to work!" I despise the TWW.


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## HCas

So had my first infertility app today. Everything went well. Getting blood work done tomorrow and as soon as I get af and she passes I will be be doing a HSG to make sure there aren't any unexpected problems. Doc says as long as its goes well we should be starting fertility drugs by mid december! I'm really excited now.


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## MJsBabyShaw

That's great news HCas! Did your doc say what kind of fertility drugs? I think if I don't get pregnant by August 2015 I will see if i can try a few rounds of clomid for better ovulation. But I am fully immersed in acupuncture/TCM right now and don't want to go the drug route....that's my last resort. My friend tried for a year and a half and then got her BFP after her first month on clomid so I know it can work wonders for some. Good luck and hope you get good news back on your tests.


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## HCas

He named a few, Clomid being one, but he said we'd talk about it more once we get to that point. Right now he just wants me to focus on maintaining my weight, exercising, and taking prenatals while we wait for the tests to come in. I admire you can do the natural route! I think if someone tried sticking a bunch of pins in me at once I'd flip XD


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## Stacyb782

Great news Hcas!!!


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## MJsBabyShaw

The needles aren't bad at all. Sometimes the ones on my tummy hurt going in, but once they are in, you can't feel them at all. They put heat lamps over me, turn out the lights and I just lie there relaxing for 1/2 an hour. It's really quite nice! I go today - I can't wait! Perfect way to end a workday. The worst part about acupuncture & TCM is the herbs I have to take (in the form of a tea) twice per day. They are horrible. And expensive! DH just lost his job - last day is at the end of this year - so if he hasn't found a new one by then I think I will only continue acupuncture until the end of January. It's like $800/month with the herbs. Cheaper than daycare I guess.


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## HCas

Thanks ^^

Yea don't think I could XD What kind of herbs are they? My great grandma use to tell me about different herb teas and all. I always found it interesting.


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## MJsBabyShaw

The herbs are all different kinds, like 12 of them in little packets. I open all of them and put them into a bowl, mix it up, then take half of the mixture and mix it in 6 oz of hot water and then drink it. Dang Gui is one of them....gardenia is another. The rest I've never heard of before - all Chinese.


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## aPharmD

HCas said:


> So had my first infertility app today. Everything went well. Getting blood work done tomorrow and as soon as I get af and she passes I will be be doing a HSG to make sure there aren't any unexpected problems. Doc says as long as its goes well we should be starting fertility drugs by mid december! I'm really excited now.

Yay! So glad to hear this!! And you were worried for nothing! Hope the HSG goes well and good luck til then!


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## dizzyc8

Lost My little one 2/6, it stopped growing at 10 weeks then had a Missed MC. It was hard the whole time before the MC and after, the baby was not planned and the father had left me, and was telling people i was lying about the baby. With my Depression it took awhile to get over. Thankfully my really good friend from college was there for me the whole time, and i realized that he was more than just a friend and now we have been together sense Feb. 

Its early in our relationship and i know a lot of people are not okay with before marriage children, but for once i finally fell like i have met _the_ guy. Last night he asked me if i was "ready to try again" i have been really wanting a baby and was to scared to ask if he was ready being so early in our relationship. but now we talked about everything that needs to be done to be ready for this what we both want and were on the same page.

Im just so scared.........

I want a baby so bad i miss my little cupcake everyday and its hard thinking that he/she should be in my life right now, and that he/she isnt breaks my heart. He so excited and i am too i just need some people to talk to about this. We both agreed to not tell anyone so we can be sure before we get anyones hopes up agian 

Just looking for some advise and support


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## Stacyb782

Hi dizzy! I met my husband and we were married 11 months later. It is true for some that when you know you know. :) I too want a baby more than anything amd at the same time I am terrified about something else going wrong. I guess the thing that keeps me going is that it will all come together and work...I am just hoping third time is the charm for me. Wishing you lots of hope and happiness. I'm here if you want to talk.


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## Fleur828815

Hi everyone, can I join? Had a D&C almost 3 weeks ago when I was around 9 weeks, the baby had stopped growing :( I'm terrified that I'll go through another miscarriage when I start trying again, but even more terrified that it will take a long time/ I'll never fall pregnant / have a healthy baby, so I guess I'll start trying again as soon as I'm "allowed" to. 
Sorry for your losses, and good luck with TTC, I hope we'll all be holding a healthy baby in 2015! :dust:


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## HCas

@Dizzy Me and my husband started ttc before we got married as well. A lot of people look down on you for it and think you are being irresponsible. However sometimes the "normal" way of doing things doesn't work for us. We didn't want to hold off starting our family just because a day we signed a paper hadn't come up yet. So I'm completely on your side with this! Hope everything goes well for you two.

@Fluer Welcome to the family. Sorry about your loss. Please don't give up hope that you will be holding that rainbow baby soon and that they will be nice and healthy!


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## dizzyc8

Thanks for all the hopefulness. I really do hope we will be holding our little one next year too. You ladies make is easier.... =D


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## Fleur828815

Thank you HCas, I hope you'll also have a successful pregnancy very soon, I see you've been trying for a long time.


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## HCas

Having others around who understand what you are going through makes it a lot easier. You get to stress and feel sad and feel happy with them which makes it less of a burden. 

I have and haven't been trying for a long time. It feels forever until I see these ladies who have been trying for 3 or 5 years. I'm happy My RE said that I'll be able to start fertility meds before Christmas though. Makes it look so much more bright for next year ^^


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## MJsBabyShaw

Hey Fleur - I'm over here too....glad you found this group. It's great to have a group of ladies who have been through a loss - unless you've been through it, you really can't understand the impact it has. It's nice to have people who understand.

So I watched an episode of that show Reign (it's not a great show, but it's fun/kind of soap-opera-ish). Anyway, the lead character was trying for a baby for a while and she finally gets pregnant, only to have a miscarriage. I felt like it was really well done (especially for a kind of crap show). It made me teary-eyed. No sure if anyone saw it. Difficulty trying to conceive and miscarriage is not shown very often on television, so I was glad to see it on that show. Just seems like the media makes it seem SO EASY to get pregnant, and then once the character is pregnant, nothing EVER goes wrong. It's just not like that in real life!


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## MJsBabyShaw

HCas said:


> Having others around who understand what you are going through makes it a lot easier. You get to stress and feel sad and feel happy with them which makes it less of a burden.
> 
> I have and haven't been trying for a long time. It feels forever until I see these ladies who have been trying for 3 or 5 years. I'm happy My RE said that I'll be able to start fertility meds before Christmas though. Makes it look so much more bright for next year ^^

Hcase - I don't know why, but I really feel hopeful for next year. I don't know if I'll have my baby in 2015, but I just have a feeling that it's going to end on a high note. :thumbup:


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## aPharmD

MJsBabyShaw said:


> Hey Fleur - I'm over here too....glad you found this group. It's great to have a group of ladies who have been through a loss - unless you've been through it, you really can't understand the impact it has. It's nice to have people who understand.
> 
> So I watched an episode of that show Reign (it's not a great show, but it's fun/kind of soap-opera-ish). Anyway, the lead character was trying for a baby for a while and she finally gets pregnant, only to have a miscarriage. I felt like it was really well done (especially for a kind of crap show). It made me teary-eyed. No sure if anyone saw it. Difficulty trying to conceive and miscarriage is not shown very often on television, so I was glad to see it on that show. Just seems like the media makes it seem SO EASY to get pregnant, and then once the character is pregnant, nothing EVER goes wrong. It's just not like that in real life!

This is soon true!! I hate that media makes it seem like you can just have a baby at any time. Like no, some people have to try annoyingly hard and others have that pregnancy ripped from them in the blink of an eye. It's not always a happy ending. 

Sorry I'm in a crabby annoyed mood today. I'm in my tww and feel nothing at 8 dpo. I'm pretty sure I'm out. This is my first month temping and I don't understand my chart. I just want to drink some wine but can't JUST in case!


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## MJsBabyShaw

aPharmD said:


> MJsBabyShaw said:
> 
> 
> Hey Fleur - I'm over here too....glad you found this group. It's great to have a group of ladies who have been through a loss - unless you've been through it, you really can't understand the impact it has. It's nice to have people who understand.
> 
> So I watched an episode of that show Reign (it's not a great show, but it's fun/kind of soap-opera-ish). Anyway, the lead character was trying for a baby for a while and she finally gets pregnant, only to have a miscarriage. I felt like it was really well done (especially for a kind of crap show). It made me teary-eyed. No sure if anyone saw it. Difficulty trying to conceive and miscarriage is not shown very often on television, so I was glad to see it on that show. Just seems like the media makes it seem SO EASY to get pregnant, and then once the character is pregnant, nothing EVER goes wrong. It's just not like that in real life!
> 
> This is soon true!! I hate that media makes it seem like you can just have a baby at any time. Like no, some people have to try annoyingly hard and others have that pregnancy ripped from them in the blink of an eye. It's not always a happy ending.
> 
> Sorry I'm in a crabby annoyed mood today. I'm in my tww and feel nothing at 8 dpo. I'm pretty sure I'm out. This is my first month temping and I don't understand my chart. I just want to drink some wine but can't JUST in case!Click to expand...

I hear ya...the TWW makes me a raging b-atch....I think it's the hormones plus I am super impatient to find out if it worked or not, and then of course I start my negative thinking like "why would it work THIS month when it hasn't worked for the last SIX months???". Then it's all downhill from there.

Here is what I see in your chart...beginning of your chart is a little bit high, when you get AF, your temp should drop a little faster (I learned all this from my acupuncturist and she's very good). Anyway, that might be part of the reason that you ovulate a teeny bit later - Day 16 instead of 14. But don't worry! The time I got pregnant I ovulated on Day 17 so it's not really a big deal. 

You have a nice spike the day after Ovulation - which is awesome! And then it keeps rising which is great. You do show a dip, but sometimes women get a surge of estrogen during the luteal phase which can drop your temp. So just keep at it and if those temps come back up and STAY up, you might be looking at a :bfp: :happydance:

Good luck and try to keep hope alive! You aren't out until AF shows. :flower:


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## Fleur828815

HCas, its true that some women have been trying for much longer, you seem very thoughtful! Im glad youre feeling positive about next year. Hoping youll get your BFP on your own but its good to know that you can take fertility meds from December if required, thats just around the corner, how exciting!

Hi MJs! :wave: I joined this thread as well because it does help being able to share all this with women whove gone through the same thing. 

aPharmD, good luck for a BFP! I spent literally YEARS using some kind of contraception because all you hear is how easy it is to fall pregnant if you have unprotected sex. Now I wish Id started earlier instead of waiting for the perfect conditions. I feel that Ive lost a few months on top of all the waiting. 

Today is 3 weeks since my D&C, Im still having a little beige discharge (sorry, TMI). At my scan 2 weeks ago the OB/gyn said theres still some blood left in my uterus but thats normal. I tested yesterday, hoping to get a BFN (how ironic!!!) but I got a faint BFP, argh. I wish I knew WHEN things will go back to normal. ](*,)


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## Stacyb782

Well I'm one week past my d and c today. I think the bleeding is about done, just some brown discharge...tmi I know. I am eager to move on to my period again because then hubby and I can start trying again. It's a weird feeling to be excited and terrified all at once. 

MJ I agree that I feel as if 2015 is going to be a great year. Things have to turn around and I feel like they are about to!!!


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## Fleur828815

Hi Stacy, I also had brown discharge after the bleeding stopped, my OB/gyn said that's normal. You've described exactly how I feel about TTC again : excited and terrified! Mostly terrified I have to say, so scared it won't work out.


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