# So anxious. Awaiting Panorama results.



## HappiestMom

I have an almost 6yr old girl and 4 yr old twin boys

My daughter had brain cancer and global stroke at 10 months old and is developmentally delayed, non mobile and non verbal and has 24/7 nursing

I never got to play dolls, tea party, have girly birthday bashes, play dress up, etc because that stuff just doesn't matter or apply to her now

I want a girl soo bad. I've saved all Bs stuff, like ALL her stuff in hopes of a girl. Then I got preggie with the twins, wished and hoped atleast obevwas a girl, nope, two boys but I think it might have been better that way with twins honestly but still, was so dissapoonted, Bs stuff sitting in totes for 6 years now just waiting 

Now number 4 is coming and I am an anxious wreck, I'm so afraid of how dissapointed and just emotional I'll be if it's a boy too. I feel like I NEED a girl for closure and for so many reasons. 

Just trying to prep myself for getting my results next week. I'm even finding out just for me before even hubby or family because atleast I can absorb shock if boy and prepare myself to react appropriately in front of everyone else at the official reveal 

Ugh I'm a mess :wacko:


----------



## lau86

Huge :hugs: I really hope you get your girl x


----------



## WackyMumof2

HappiestMom said:


> My daughter had brain cancer and global stroke at 10 months old and is developmentally delayed, non mobile and non verbal and has 24/7 nursing
> 
> I never got to play dolls, tea party, have girly birthday bashes, play dress up, etc because that stuff just doesn't matter or apply to her now

I'm sorry if I sound like I am personally attacking you. Please, I'm not but I do have to ask. Despite what your daughter has gone though, why should all those girl things not matter or apply for her? Yes, I understand what you are saying in regards to her disabilities, but surely, you have done those thing with her. It doesn't matter if she can't talk or interact with you like your twins can. Do all those things for her. :) I'm sure, somewhere, somehow she WILL understand even if she can't communicate those emotions with you. <3 Somehow, in her own way she will respond to those special moments with you. <3 And I really do hope you get a second little girl. <3


----------



## HappiestMom

WackyMumof2 said:


> I'm sorry if I sound like I am personally attacking you. Please, I'm not but I do have to ask. Despite what your daughter has gone though, why should all those girl things not matter or apply for her? Yes, I understand what you are saying in regards to her disabilities, but surely, you have done those thing with her. It doesn't matter if she can't talk or interact with you like your twins can. Do all those things for her. :) I'm sure, somewhere, somehow she WILL understand even if she can't communicate those emotions with you. <3 Somehow, in her own way she will respond to those special moments with you. <3 And I really do hope you get a second little girl. <3

No offense taken, I guess you have to see B and her personality to understand 

She is developmentally behind but it's physical only in my opinion, otherwise she is seriously like a 16 year old mentally just in a 6 year old body lol 

Sass, attitude, she is the funniest thing 

She understands what you say and has her own ways of communicating back, but it's like she skipped the little little girl stage after all that's happened to her

We do tons of mommy daughter stuff that she loves, hair and nails and thrift stores and her fav thing is to just be cuddled and watch tv with us

She has no interest in dolls or the normal little girl stuff, we have tried, she likes noisey toys for sensory feedback and that kind of thing but will roll her eyes at baby dolls lol

I hope that helps explain it a bit better

She even tried school for a bit but she couldn't participate at all like the other kids even in a special needs class because of her trach and wheelchair and she physically would just shut down and block it all out, so it's not that we haven't tried, and we treat her as normal as any other kid but it's just different


----------



## BunInTheBelly

I hope you get your second chance at tea parties and dress up. I really do. I pray you get your princess, who has ten dolls with their own personalities, requires a daily tutu for at least a year of her life, and delights in tiaras and lace. But if you don't, I pray that you are strong, and that you are able to get beyond this very real desire.

I also want to encourage you, in a way. A love for girly girl things is not just determined by double X chromasomes. I never really was interested in dolls and tea parties as a girl. I was a dirt-covered tree climber. Maybe (especially if you don't get the girl you're hoping for), you could take the toys you've saved up and help host a tea party event at a local library or other children's place? Even if you pack them up and bring them home again, you could used your safely-stored dreams to bring some joy to little girls in your area.


----------



## WackyMumof2

HappiestMom said:


> No offense taken, I guess you have to see B and her personality to understand
> 
> She is developmentally behind but it's physical only in my opinion, otherwise she is seriously like a 16 year old mentally just in a 6 year old body lol
> 
> Sass, attitude, she is the funniest thing
> 
> She understands what you say and has her own ways of communicating back, but it's like she skipped the little little girl stage after all that's happened to her
> 
> We do tons of mommy daughter stuff that she loves, hair and nails and thrift stores and her fav thing is to just be cuddled and watch tv with us
> 
> She has no interest in dolls or the normal little girl stuff, we have tried, she likes noisey toys for sensory feedback and that kind of thing but will roll her eyes at baby dolls lol
> 
> I hope that helps explain it a bit better
> 
> She even tried school for a bit but she couldn't participate at all like the other kids even in a special needs class because of her trach and wheelchair and she physically would just shut down and block it all out, so it's not that we haven't tried, and we treat her as normal as any other kid but it's just different

She sounds so special!! <3 Yes, that does make it easier to understand. :) Seems you have the best of both worlds with her. In some ways, she's happy to be girly and do girly things, in other ways, playing with dolls, tea parties etc don't seem stimulating enough - she sounds like she's very much a child who likes sounds and textures. :) Sensory children always seem to like the noisy and interactive toys.


----------



## sevenofnine

My daughter hates all sorts of girly things- she strongly prefers sports, superheroes, power rangers, and Pokémon to dolls and tea parties. So I understand in a way... I kind of hope for another girl just in the case that the next might like some of those things!

I hope that whatever the results may be, that you eventually get the closure that you need.


----------



## HappiestMom

Results are in...I got my girl!!!!!! :happydance:


----------



## sevenofnine

HappiestMom said:


> Results are in...I got my girl!!!!!! :happydance:

Oh yay!!! I'm so happy for you! Congrats! :hugs:


----------



## WackyMumof2

:happydance:


----------



## Bevziibubble

Congratulations!!


----------



## BunInTheBelly

Amen! I'm so happy for you!


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

:)


----------

