# It's a 5th boy, devastated



## cosmicgirlxxx

Found out today that I'm having a 5th boy and haven't stopped sobbing since. I think if one more person says "at least he's healthy" I will strangle them.
Why is this not happening for me.
I am grieving a daughter I never had and never will, I don't feel like I will ever get over this.
Didn't even want to look at it on the screen :(


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## chetnaz

I'm so sorry to hear that hun. I was really hoping that you'd get your little girl this time. I'll probably be in the same boat next week when I find out. Big hugs. Xx


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## JasperJoe

I can understand how your feeling, I have a feeling this is going to be my 4th boy. Sorry it's not a girl xxxx hugs xxx


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## Kirei

So sorry to hear it, I hope in time you can come to terms with things, it must be so upsetting for you, after hoping and dreaming of a girl :( Sending :hug: your way xx


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## cosmicgirlxxx

I don't know that I can get over it this time x


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## JasperJoe

cosmicgirlxxx said:


> I don't know that I can get over it this time x

I can imagine how your feeling cause I can see already that I will feel the same, I just know though, once baby is here your gonna feel just as much love for it as you do you other boys ;0) You will get over it xxx


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## Katia-xO

I'm so sorry :hugs: you must need a lot of men in your life to keep you safe and happy xx


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## Andypanda6570

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I know how you feel, I pray things get better and you come to terms with this, which you will.. I am here if you ever need to talk..
Andrea :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## enepsigos

i know nothing i can say will make things any easier for you, im sorry you didnt get your girl :hug:

i really want a little girl this time as i have 2 boys and my only daughter died of cot death, i miss her so much :cry:
im praying for a girl but knowing my luck i will have a boy!
i was so hoping you would get your girl.... sending big hugs your way.
:hug:


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## cosmicgirlxxx

Thanks everyone, I'm so so upset and tearful. I feel awful for feeling this way but that's how I feel.
I don't know what more I could have done x


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## pixeldust

It's OK to grieve :flower::hugs:


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## SabrinaKat

I think today and the next few weeks will be hard for you, but I think that when LO arrives, you'll be so happy? I'm not trying to be glib -- my step-grandmother had six boys, my cousin four girls and eventually, just said, that's that....of course, you are disappointed, BUT is there any positives that you could focus on?

best wishes


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## cosmicgirlxxx

I feel I've made a massive mistake trying again, if I could turn back the clock. But I can't, I feel trapped in this situation.
I am really struggling.
I've cancelled all of my antenatal appointments, my 20 week scan. Just need to forget I'm pregnant for now. Can't deal with it x


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## danni1979

I am so so sorry for the way you are feeling right now and just wish i could say something to make you feel better,but i dont think theres anything i can say :( 
Am sending you lots and lots of hugs


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## mummystheword

Aw sweetie I am so sorry! I can only imagine how you are feeling, I felt like this when we found out that my first (and only at present) was a little boy, so what you must be feeling must be multiplied by a million! I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel any better, but just sending you lots of love an hugs :hugs: Take care sweetie x x


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## ElmoBumpToBe

Nothing i can say, just want you to know people understand, truthfully. I have just found out im having my 3rd boy, and we really cant go on to have any more. I was desperate, but it didnt happen, and that must be nothing compared to what your going through on you 5th child. Sweetheart you really must go to your appointments, if anything was to go wrong you would never forgive yourself. Please take care of yourself and baby xxx


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## BlueHadeda

Stop blaming yourself. You could've done nothing MORE. It was never in your hands. There's a reason why this particular baby boy is in your life. I'm sure one day you'll realise that. But in the meantime, you need TIME. Time to grieve and sulk and cry and be angry. I think it's a good thing if you kinda "forget" for a while that you're pregnant. Give yourself some breathing space. Try to concentrate on hobbies and things that will help you find the balance in your life again. And the happiness. Then you can work through your dissapointment. You WILL get through this. Like you did every other time. Don't beat yourself up so quickly. You've had years of dreaming about a little girl, you can't get over this in just a few days. :hugs:


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## Mummy2B21

Everything happens for a reason hun, and i am sure there is good reason for you to be blessed with 5 boys.

I know its. .not the same but when they grow up you will gain 5 daughter in laws and lots of possible grandaughters. I was so close with my nan she.never had a daughter and I was the light of her life she made me feel so special and we were so close more than my mum as mum and daughters argue grandchildren often don't don't give up Hope of never having a little girl in your life I bet youll end up woth lots of grandaughters and you will have a great reason to spoil themxxx


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## Katia-xO

Mummy2B21 said:


> Everything happens for a reason hun, and i am sure there is good reason for you to be blessed with 5 boys.
> 
> I know its. .not the same but when they grow up you will gain 5 daughter in laws and lots of possible grandaughters. I was so close with my nan she.never had a daughter and I was the light of her life she made me feel so special and we were so close more than my mum as mum and daughters argue grandchildren often don't don't give up Hope of never having a little girl in your life I bet youll end up woth lots of grandaughters and you will have a great reason to spoil themxxx

My OH's mum had all boys and said she ended up despising things around her house, I came along and she sort of adopted me as one of her own and now she's even more excited that within a few months there will be another 
little girl in the house and she thinks it more than makes up for not having a girl herself xx


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## BlueHadeda

Same with my OH's mom. She had 4 sons in a row (lost one half-way through pregnancy though) and no daughters. She always wanted a little girl. Now she has 2 granddaughters, the one is 17 already and she is and was very close to her. The other one is my daughter, age 8, and they're also extremely close. My MIL will buy her dresses, knit her lovely jerseys and girly things, she'll tie her hair in ribbons whenever she gets the chance, she talks about dolls and make-up with her, buy her girly gifts for birthdays, etc. I know it's not the same, but at least it's something to look forward to. :)


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## Baby321

cosmicgirlxxx said:


> I feel I've made a massive mistake trying again, if I could turn back the clock. But I can't, I feel trapped in this situation.
> I am really struggling.
> I've cancelled all of my antenatal appointments, my 20 week scan. Just need to forget I'm pregnant for now. Can't deal with it x

Hello Cosmicgirl, I know how you feel, I had my 20 week scan yesturday and it looks like I am about to have my 4th girl, whilst the sonographer was looking at the baby's anatomy there was a potty shot with nothing between legs, so looks like my last baby is another girl. I won't be having a boy. I have been feeling the same as you but I am trying not to think about the negatives, I am trying to think positive, thinking that I will be having a little life and that its not baby's fault. I have had all c-sections, I was advised not to have anymore, I have taken a risk, a risk which has not been paid off. I feel very down, I wanted to buy blue things, never mind. Take care cosmicgirl, we need to stay strong for our little ones :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Naturalmystic

sorry you did not get your lil princess hon.:hugs:


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## bigmomma74

I'm so sorry. I know how you feel and I know nothing I can say can make it better so I'll just send huge (((((hugs)))))


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## Rachiebaby24

Hunny im so sorry....you will accept it and you will look forward to meeting him and you will love him.....i felt the exact same when i was pg with Remi...i didnt want to touch my belly or anything it was awful....i would love to say you wont be disappointed that you havent had a girl because you always will but you have your lovely boys....


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## Nyn

I'm so sorry hun :hugs:


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## Lubbird

Big hugs! I am sorry hun :hugs:


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## Halle71

I've already got a girl so there isn't any rational reason I should feel the same way but I suspect this baby is a boy and I'm gutted. I can imagine how you feel about the pregnancy because if it's confirmed it is a boy, the closest way to describe how I will feel is that it doesn't feel like a 'real' pregnancy. Ie. a girly one. I will cope but it won't be as exciting as my previous pregnancy which of course I feel completely shite about. 

I hope you are coming to terms with it x


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## cosmicgirlxxx

Thanks everyone, I'm slowly coming to terms with another boy. I'm making plans to go to a clinic in Cyprus next year for gender selection. I would not try again naturally for a girl.
I cannot give up my dream of having a little girl, I just can't x


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## Baby321

cosmicgirlxxx said:


> Thanks everyone, I'm slowly coming to terms with another boy. I'm making plans to go to a clinic in Cyprus next year for gender selection. I would not try again naturally for a girl.
> I cannot give up my dream of having a little girl, I just can't x

This is my last baby due to having c-sections, so will never get my boy. I think i have also slowly come to terms with having a 4th girl. Just hoping gender changes when I give birth. If I had natural deliveries i would have kept trying until I got a boy but unfortunately it is not meant to be. I understand how you feel :hugs:


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## cosmicgirlxxx

Thanks hun, that's a real shame you can't keep trying :(

It's so surreal making plans with the clinic for my next pregnancy when I'm still pregnant with this one but it is helping a lot.
I have hope and I know that my next pregnancy will be my little princess :) x


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## mrsirish

Hello..im just curious..is gender selection very expensive x ive just gave birth to my 3rd baby girl and i would just love a son so much..im very scared to try again because i never want to experience that awful feeling of being dissapointed again... I never for one second didnt love her tho... I just wanted a blue bundle so bad that it hurt so much..i never imagined being in this situation and dont know if i cud handle having a fourth..duno wat to do.... Im glad ur thinking positive and i hope u get your dream...my husband tells me your son is in heaven just waiting to b born ...i hope hes right


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## No1showgirl

mrsirish said:


> Hello..im just curious..is gender selection very expensive x ive just gave birth to my 3rd baby girl and i would just love a son so much..im very scared to try again because i never want to experience that awful feeling of being dissapointed again... I never for one second didnt love her tho... I just wanted a blue bundle so bad that it hurt so much..i never imagined being in this situation and dont know if i cud handle having a fourth..duno wat to do.... Im glad ur thinking positive and i hope u get your dream...my husband tells me your son is in heaven just waiting to b born ...i hope hes right

Hi - From the research i have done on this it can be between 12k-15kEuros dependant on which hotel you chose to stay in when your abroad. Its not cheap but in the long run, just to keep having more and more children until the gender you want comes along will be even more expensive! Im not really in a position to have more that 2 children (and neither do i really want more than 2) so im going for this option next year also! xx:baby:


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## mrsirish

oh dear we could never afford that :(:(:(:(:(


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## cosmicgirlxxx

Now I'm 24 and a bit weeks it's reached the stage I've dreaded. The "are you expecting? Do you know what you're having? Have you already got children?"
Every time I explain that I have 4 boys already and this is another boy, it's like someone stabs me in the heart.
The bump is growing at a massive rate, so is the amount of people asking (I work with the public).
Sometimes I feel like lying, saying its my first but I can't do it, it's awful :( x


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## Baby321

cosmicgirlxxx said:


> Now I'm 24 and a bit weeks it's reached the stage I've dreaded. The "are you expecting? Do you know what you're having? Have you already got children?"
> Every time I explain that I have 4 boys already and this is another boy, it's like someone stabs me in the heart.
> The bump is growing at a massive rate, so is the amount of people asking (I work with the public).
> Sometimes I feel like lying, saying its my first but I can't do it, it's awful :( x

Hiya cosmic girl, just say that you don't know what you are having, that will keep people quiet.Hope you are ok :hugs:


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## mummystheword

cosmicgirlxxx said:


> Now I'm 24 and a bit weeks it's reached the stage I've dreaded. The "are you expecting? Do you know what you're having? Have you already got children?"
> Every time I explain that I have 4 boys already and this is another boy, it's like someone stabs me in the heart.
> The bump is growing at a massive rate, so is the amount of people asking (I work with the public).
> Sometimes I feel like lying, saying its my first but I can't do it, it's awful :( x

I know my situation was different from yours as I was having my first and he was a boy, however I just used to tell people 'we didn't find out what we are having' until I felt comfortable to say it. You could do this as at least they are people you wouldn't necessarily see again :hugs:


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## JasperJoe

mrsirish said:


> oh dear we could never afford that :(:(:(:(:(

I have a friend who has 3 girls, she paid for gender selection and it failed ;0(

so she decided to give up, then she gets pregnant a shock pregnancy and it's a boy! so you never know xx


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## Sunnie1984

mrsirish said:


> Hello..im just curious..is gender selection very expensive x ive just gave birth to my 3rd baby girl and i would just love a son so much..im very scared to try again because i never want to experience that awful feeling of being dissapointed again... I never for one second didnt love her tho... I just wanted a blue bundle so bad that it hurt so much..i never imagined being in this situation and dont know if i cud handle having a fourth..duno wat to do.... Im glad ur thinking positive and i hope u get your dream...my husband tells me your son is in heaven just waiting to b born ...i hope hes right

In the middle east (Dubai) it costs about £6,500 for gender selection. Obviously you'd have flights and hotels on top of that, but you can do some of it at home in the UK - the hormone injections etc, and then just fly out for the egg retrieval and implantation - so you need less time in the middle east. 

Hope that helps. 

x


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## Mom2mmcjg

cosmicgirlxxx said:


> Now I'm 24 and a bit weeks it's reached the stage I've dreaded. The "are you expecting? Do you know what you're having? Have you already got children?"
> Every time I explain that I have 4 boys already and this is another boy, it's like someone stabs me in the heart.
> The bump is growing at a massive rate, so is the amount of people asking (I work with the public).
> Sometimes I feel like lying, saying its my first but I can't do it, it's awful :( x

I have 5 boys, so I totally understand what you're going through.:hugs: With each pregnancy it gets worse. Well meaning people with their curiosity. :growlmad: Then they ask you if you're disappointed! I don't even know you!

I have spent years grieving the daughter I never thought I'd have. Trying to convince myself that life without a daughter would be fine. Hoping that I'd get a granddaughter someday at least. 

All you can do is hug your bump and know that its your son growing in there. You know you will love him and not regret his existence in your life at all. You've got time to prepare, its a challenge, but you can do it. :hugs:


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## honey915

Aww hun i'm sorry to hear that :-( I was in this boat a few weeks ago when I found out it was another boy. If it helps I feel fine about it now. Took a few days to get my head round it all but he'll still be beautiful and he's yours. Don't feel guilty at all. Just try and think of any positives and give yourself time to get over this. Time does great things xxx


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## honey915

Oh and so what if you have to lie about it. If that helps do it. Sod everyone else xx


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## cosmicgirlxxx

29 weeks today and still so disappointed.
Don't think I will ever get over the unfairness of it all.
I feel like everyone around me is having little girls except me.
I feel liked could have 10000 babies and never get a girl. Feeling really sorry for myself today :( x


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## try4girl2

cosmicgirlxxx said:


> 29 weeks today and still so disappointed.
> Don't think I will ever get over the unfairness of it all.
> I feel like everyone around me is having little girls except me.
> I feel liked could have 10000 babies and never get a girl. Feeling really sorry for myself today :( x

I am sorry. I am scared about this one being a boy that is why I have stayed team yellow I am hoping that if it is a boy that once he is in my arms I won't care. but I think like you if I found out early it would make me battie. I hope it gets better.


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## Baby321

Sorry cosmic girl, i understand exactly how you feel. i feel everyone around me are having boys. I found out at 29 weeks, I thought I would prepare for the baby but since I have had it confirmed I feel so bad. i feel more bad because I have to have c-sections and doctors and family are trying to convince me that I need to stop having more kids now. Just don't know what to do now. Just thinking if I should do pgd and maybe get a surrogate mother i don't how i'd do it.


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## WholeHeart

I know a family who had ten boys and then finally a girl.... I have no idea whether they were trying for one or what. It's a bit scary. I'm really, really, really hoping for a little girl, next time if not this time. My husband wants a boy first, and I *think* I could be pretty much ok with that by the time the baby came if we found out early enough (we're not quite 15 weeks, so we don't know yet, and this is our first). But I think I'd be heartbroken too if I ended up with 5 or 10 boys and no girls.


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