# Feeling frustrated



## LDC

Sorry ladies for the rant - I've been browsing on and off in the trimester forums since I found out I was pregnant after losing my little boy in July. I get so frustrated with the "gender scan" excitement threads - it's an anomaly scan NOT a gender scan!! 

Why don't people realise? Yes it's exciting to find out possibly what team you're on, but ultimately that's not what the scan is for...it's to check your baby is healthy.

Araghhhhh it drives me mad!

Xxx


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## jinxii

Some of them might actually be gender scans.... I got a private one done at 16 weks. My nt was at 14, and the measurements/dating was scheduled for 19. And I just look at it as people probably prefer to focus on the positive, boy or girl, rather than worrying about the negative potential. We worry enough when pregnant already!


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## Olivia2

I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your son. 

I definitely see where your coming from. Fortunately I have not had anything major picked up from an anatomy/morphology scan. I guess until you have or know someone that has ignorance is bliss. I work as a Midwife and have seen many people ending their pregnancies following this scan for various reasons. Personally I'm quiet scared about having it and what may be discovered. It will be a relief once that scan is over as I don't feel I can relax even a bit until it's done.


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## LDC

I completely get the wanting to focus on something positive, 100%, like you say there is always lots to worry about during the whole pregnancy. It's more at the posts that are clearly 20 week scans, rather than private gender scans. My concern is more for the parents-to-be; it seems like some people genuinely think that the purpose of the scan is to determine gender, rather than it be an anomaly scan. Scans are for a purpose when they're the standard scans (and a majority when they're private booked scans too!), I just worry that people don't fully appreciate their importance or understand what they're designed for/to look at - that's what I find frustrating. 

Ignorance is definitely bliss, but even with my healthy dd I was still aware of what could happen at this scan and I know that we don't necessarily think that anything will happen to us. It's always a shock.

I don't know, perhaps with my 20 week scan coming up that's raised my anxiety and hormone levels - I just wish there was more awareness re this scan. There seems to be a lot more apprehension in threads about the 12 week as it is the first scan and not so much around the 20 week one, which what leads me to believe that there is less of an understanding about this one.


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## Willow01

I am a bit embarrassed to admit that with my first child I was so excited about possibly finding out the gender of my baby that I never really thought about the actual importance of the 20 weeks scan. With my second I had to have harmony testing to find out DS risk and from that moment every scan I had I was only totally focused on the health of the baby, was everything ok etc. I think the first time around I assumed because I was younger everything would be ok, and luckily it was, and it was this time too but a little scare at the beginning made me realise how important scans are for checking babies health.


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## pinkpassion

I think when people post with excitement over their 20 week scans that's really what they come away with (the gender) because everything else was fine, so the exciting thing to them to announce is that baby is a _____!!! I don't think it is necessarily fair to put your emotions on to other people and their experiences. Ignorance is bliss and i ENVY those women that can go throughout pregnancy without needing to think of the possible "ifs" or worst case scenarios.. Pregnancy is not easy for me and I am not guaranteed a baby in the end (no one is, but many don't even have to consider that possibility, and YAY for them) But that doesn't mean we should be upset with them when they don't seem to take their pregnancy's risks or ease for granted. Everyone goes on about it differently and it's because of our different journeys that we do this! :hugs: I'm sorry you have raised anxiety over your upcoming scan. I TOTALLY get that and felt the same thing for my anatomy scan. I just was so worried they would tell me something was dreadfully wrong with her!


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