# 17 scared unsure && posibly pregnant



## 17 and scared

hi. I'm 17:cry:. just finished my first year at college and recently started getting 'sexually involved' with this boy. (well not recently march). however when we first started out we did the stupid 'no condom' && 'pill weneva i wana take it' days.:dohh:

Then one day it really dawned on me and i turned 2 him and asked 'what if i got pregnant?' the 1st fing he sed woz 'i would do what ever you wana do,' buh DIRECTLY afta he said, 'mur tym get an abortion enit' ever so casually. so i sed 'no! i dnt do abortions so if ur havin un protected sex with me u better be ready for the consequences'. he sed that he would stand by me however if i did get pregnant wich woz nice ov him, and we decided we would use condoms from then on wards.

we started 2 get closer and closer and eventually [after a month or 2] the condoms disappeared and we were back 2 square 1. we have had a few pregnancy scares but now I'm really worried.

i normally have perfect periods. every 28 days EXACTLY. i could tell u the day hour and sum times if u catch me on a good day the exact moment on wen I'm about to 'come on'. But this month that didn't happen.1, 2 3 days later no period. 1, 2 weeks later and STILL no period. i had the cramps. the strong smell enhancements. i haven't yet been sick, however i CONSTANTLY feel like I'm about to vomit and haven't eaten nothing soluble in the last 2 weeks. i just don't feel my self. I feel depressed and angry all the time. i haven't had no exams or no stress form any were, so this must be the only answer.

i haven't told my partner, as we have had quiet a few scares b4 and i don't want him 2 fink I'm just playing jokes and being ridiculous now. i haven't taken a pregnancy test as i am SHIT scared of what i would see on there. Talking 2 friends and family wouldn't help either, as my usual lifestyle consist of partying and yeah my TRUE friends would be there for me, But i wouldn't want to laden them with MY personal burden and The Fear of social Humiliation is now starting to make me Fink i want to run away.

I'm from a black Caribbean bk ground and my parents have been VERY strict up until these 6 weeks holidays. they are still quite stern tho however. i have year after year had the warning from them if i ever got pregnant i would be disowned.

my mother her self had my 1st sister at 18. and was disowned 4 7 years by my grandmother. my oldest sister had her 1st child at 17. and my second oldest had hers at 15. Both of them was disowned to. I'm coming from a family of 4 girls my self being the youngest and smartest i believe my self 2 have real skill and i can taste my future.

i would love to continue ma drama career but with a baby inside my stomach [if i am pregnant] wouldn't exactly be wise.

I'm 17 scarred unsure confused

all words i can think of and have no body to turn to.

I'm not ready for a child yet.

please sum advice :(:dohh: :cry:

[sorry bout the spelling mistakes, just had 2 get it all down before iye pressed cancell]


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## Becki77

Hello and welcome to B & B! Theres not really alot i can say other than take a test! If your now 2 weeks late for your period then there is every chance you could well be pregnant. Some people dont have any symptoms atall so the fact your not being sick doesnt mean anything.
Do you not have a walk in centre close to where you live? Somewhere that they could do the test for you then talk about your options?
Once youve taken the test and got a result things will be so much clearer for you, although a little scary if its positive.
All i can really advice is test my love! Good luck xx


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## v2007

Hi and welcome to Baby and Bump. 

Ill only tell you the obvious, u really need to take a test, if it positive you need to sort out what you want to do. 
If its negative u need to start using contraception. So your not faced with this again. 

The local walk in clinic can really help you. 


Victoria x x x


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## Happy

Welcome to B&B.

All I can suggest is that you take a pregnancy test and if it come up positive you will have to start making some decisions about what is best for you not your family.

If it comes back negative then please start using contraception you need to protect yourself from not only pregnancy but STD's as well.

Good luck and keep us posted.


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## Becky

You say you are not ready for a baby so why the hell are you having unprottected sex!!

you need to do a test asap and decide what you are going to do!! the sooner you make a decision the easier it will be!!

I hope everything works out for you!!

x


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## Samo

best thing you can do is take a prego test hun...you can't run away from that forever :( and if you are pregnant, it would be best for the little one that you check in with a doctor and get things sorted. Let's hope that your boy sticks by you as he said he would, but keep an open mind, some boys sometimes aren't ready to 'grow up'.

good luck!


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## moomin_troll

if u are having unprotected sex then sorry but ur asking to get pregnant! One scare should of been enough to make u both realise this.

i think u need to tell ur partner he should be there for u as u both knew what u were doing and do a test! thats all u can do and then u can go from there.


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## Nik_

Right now go out and take a test. After you take it, if it does come out positive, show it to your boyfriend if you're worried that he won't believe you if you are in fact pregnant.


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## kiwimama

Firstly you need to take a test. All this worrying may be for nothing. If you are not pregnant, you need to go to your doctor and find out why you have missed your period and to organise contraception. If you are pregnant you need to sit down asap and have a serious think about what you want to do. You have already said you are not ready for a baby, so that really only leaves 2 options - either termination or adoption. Both are going to be incredibly tough decisions. If you decide you want to keep it, you will have to go to your doctor asap to get folic acid tablets. Take a test NOW! Good luck with your decision.


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## Char&Bump-x

17 and scared said:


> we have had a few pregnancy scares but now I'm really worried.
> 
> I'm not ready for a child yet.

Sorry to be blunt but if you've already had scares WHY aren't you using protection? Thats just being plain stupid and asking for trouble really isn't it.

If you're not ready for a child why risking having one?

If you are pregnant please think carefully about what you do, there are 100s of girls on here who are ready and trying. For you to have a baby and not want it would be terrible.

If you're not pregnant PLEASE use condoms and/or get the pill! 

Whatever happens, good luck.


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## ls27

.


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## 17 and scared

i no i no

stupid me. as bludii usual

but...

im pregnant. i tuk a test. i cant terminate itz just not ryt,, or go fru all that pain 2 give it up for adoption. i dnt yet no about my uvah half his coming round 2daii so we can talk fings through. i dhuno wot im gna do now tho. i cant evn give my self a good life nevah mind my child. my life iz unworthy 2 beii on this earth. i think its tym i leave it....:cry:


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## nightkd

Oh sweetheart, don't say that, if you decide to keep the baby you'll find some way to cope. As has been said on here dozens of times "A baby does not ruin your life, it just puts it on hold". 

As you're in the UK there are loads of benefits that can help you out. Go to the council and tell them you've just found out you're pregnant and you might be homeless soon. They should be able to sort out housing for you and tell you about all the benefits you can receive.

Tell your OH how you feel and that you don't think you could go through with abortion, will he stick by your side.

You need to make a Drs appointment, and at least you'll have someone to talk to there, talk about your options and tell him/her how you feel.

As long as you want to keep this baby then you'll have financial help from the council and all a baby really needs is love. You'll do fine.

Big :hug: 

xx


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## moomin_troll

Dont give urself such a hard time about it. Yeah it was silly not to use protection but weve all done it and no one is ever ready to start a family.

its abit dramatic to say ur lifes not worthy to be on this earth and its time u leave it! there are worse things that can happen and even tho u say u dont believe in abortions it is always a option u can go down its there for a reason.

good luck :)


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## princess_x0

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## princess_x0

17 and scared said:


> i no i no
> 
> stupid me. as bludii usual
> 
> but...
> 
> im pregnant. i tuk a test. i cant terminate itz just not ryt,, or go fru all that pain 2 give it up for adoption. i dnt yet no about my uvah half his coming round 2daii so we can talk fings through. i dhuno wot im gna do now tho. i cant evn give my self a good life nevah mind my child. my life iz unworthy 2 beii on this earth. i think its tym i leave it....:cry:

Huni don't talk like that.
It will work out in the end.
Talk to your sisters?
xx


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## moomin_troll

princess shes done a test shes pregnant!

u saw it just as i posted this lol


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## Reedy

I'm finding it hard to get my head round this. I know I might sound like I'm being harsh & telling you things you already no & I know at some point most people have had unprotected sex but the way you talk about how you knew you could get pregnant & your mum told you if you got pregnant the family would disown you & your sisters have been disowned for the same thing I cant understand why you would have unprotected sex so many times & now your pregnant & thinking about ending your life bcus of it. You knew this was going to happen but did it anyway (both of you) x I'm finding it hard to be sympathetic sorry 

I hope you do the right thing for your baby & yourself & please go get yourself some condoms they are free from the DRs (i know too late now but for the future)


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## moomin_troll

Reedy said:


> I'm finding it hard to get my head round this. I know I might sound like I'm being harsh & telling you things you already no & I know at some point most people have had unprotected sex but the way you talk about how you knew you could get pregnant & your mum told you if you got pregnant the family would disown you & your sisters have been disowned for the same thing I cant understand why you would have unprotected sex so many times & now your pregnant & thinking about ending your life bcus of it. You knew this was going to happen but did it anyway (both of you) x I'm finding it hard to be sympathetic sorry
> 
> I hope you do the right thing for your baby & yourself & please go get yourself some condoms they are free from the DRs (i know too late now but for the future)


i agree with what uve said! weve all dont it like ive said in another post and ending ur life is over dramatic which ive also said.

And to 17 and scared if u believe in suicide then why are u so against abortion?
And its not publicly humiliating to be pregnant at all i actually found that offensive to all of us who are pregnant or trying! Im 20 pregnant and scared my baby wasnt "planned" altho not using protection i knew what would happen so in away he was planned.

Its easy to not use protection once twice but all the time and knowing how ur family would react but then again there opinion shouldnt matter if u want ur baby thats ur choice not theres!!


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## ls27

.


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## chrissy&marty

hey ive been through something similar so left you my story in a PM.

the way i c it how ever it happened planned or not, stupid or not it has so now you have to deal with it. 
i hope my message shows that you are not alone and that dealing with this is possible and u can do it.
x


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## nightkd

I think u guys are being a bit harsh, I think she's just scared of what her parents'll think etc etc, I don't think she was being that serious.

It might seem like the end of the world, but everything'll fall into place.

Hope your BF will stick by you, it's his responsibility too.

Gd Luck
xx


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## Nik_

If you're not ready to have a child and you don't think you can provide it with the life it deserves, you should really think about adoption. That way a couple who can't have children could have a chance at raising one and giving your baby the life it deserves if you really don't think you can provide that for it. You could have an open adoption and could still see your baby.


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## codex

moomin_troll said:


> Reedy said:
> 
> 
> I'm finding it hard to get my head round this. I know I might sound like I'm being harsh & telling you things you already no & I know at some point most people have had unprotected sex but the way you talk about how you knew you could get pregnant & your mum told you if you got pregnant the family would disown you & your sisters have been disowned for the same thing I cant understand why you would have unprotected sex so many times & now your pregnant & thinking about ending your life bcus of it. You knew this was going to happen but did it anyway (both of you) x I'm finding it hard to be sympathetic sorry
> 
> I hope you do the right thing for your baby & yourself & please go get yourself some condoms they are free from the DRs (i know too late now but for the future)
> 
> I also agree. You say you had scares yet continued to go about it like nothing. You say you are the smartest of your sisters yet you are doing the same thing as them. You say you do not believe in abortion yet you say you don't feel like living because you find you are pregnant???
> Stop being so dramatic, stop repeating mistakes and move on. What's done is done and a baby in no way stops you from finishing your schooling. I know many girls that had babies while in college still went (child went to daycare) and did just fine.
> 
> Sorry to sound harsh but it is so frustrating to me when girls just keep acting like it can't happen to me even though I am doing nothing to stop it.Click to expand...


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## Poppeteer

Have pm'd you


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## Kirsty10x

(Have to edit this cause ive just read that you know that you are)

If your old enough to have unprotected sex then your old enough to face the consequences .. when you look in your heart you will find the answer .. all im saying is I could never give up my baby, not in a million years.

Last year (when I was 17) I fell pregnant with a guy I had been with for a year, I didn't have a clue what to do and my mum always said if I ever fell pregnant she would make me have an abortion .. but after I picked up the courage to tell her, she was annoyed but understood my decision to keep the baby and face my consequences. Unfortunately, I had a miscarraige and we were all devastated, even though my mum didn't want the baby in the first place .. is there no way your mum would come round??

Would you be able to go through the 9 months and then give your baby up for adoption?

Good luck, and I hope the advice has helped xx


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