# Which is more painful - the contractions, or the 'exiting' of the baby?!



## hanfromman

Hey!
Which is more painful - the contractions or the baby actually coming out? I know they may not be comparable because obviously contractions go on for ages, and the baby coming out is very quick in comparison! But does anyone have any opinion on which is worse?!
And, this is a bit embarrassing, but does having a small vagina make birth difficult?! TMI, but the first time I had sex was very painful as I was so small and there was lots of blood, and I'm still pretty small down there!! Will I probably tear? And more importantly, could the baby's shoulders get stuck? This is one of my big worries!


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## amjon

I was terrified I would get a bad tear because I am pretty tight down there (the GYN has had to use a pediatric spectrum several times because the other was too large). When I delivered (breech) I had no tearing at all, so size doesn't really matter all that much apparently. I think the contractions are worse just because they are constant (or at least were for me) and the exit is so quick.


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## staralfur

I think the "ring of fire" was the worst part for me. Contractions hurt but I had an easier time coping with them than the pushing.


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## elohcin

staralfur said:


> I think the "ring of fire" was the worst part for me. Contractions hurt but I had an easier time coping with them than the pushing.

This for me, too. It was actually far worse with my epidural birth than with my 2 natural births at home.

For me, I'm never really thinking much about the pain when they're coming out because I'm so excited that "this is it!!!!" and it's only seconds until I'm holding them!! But my last 2 were also born in just 2 quick pushes, too. If it had been longer I may have felt differently. LOL


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## kleinfor3

I had an epi both times so the contractions were worse bc that's all I felt. My docs keep telling me this is a big baby. I finally expressed my concerns with delivering a 'big' baby. When she did my internal she felt around and said she didn't feel anything that was too small or in the way of me delivering vaginally. Maybe if you express your concerns and ask them to have a 'feel' around that may put our mind at ease :) good luck!


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## Betheney

I would prefer to squeeze 5 babies out consecutively then deal with contractions. I found them horrendous!!! and way too difficult to deal with. They were mind blowingly painful. I thought i was going to pass out.

Pushing the baby out wasn't that bad at all. Sure it burns but so does a chinese burn on your arm. So it burns but it's not that bad. (wasnt for me). I don't know if i'm small down there or not. If me and hubby have sex 3 days in a row i get incredibly sore down there and can get tiny tears that heal within a day where my perinium is. Don't know if my husband is too well endowed or if i'm small. I've never had my doctor mention me being small. The first few times i had sex were near impossible though! lol. I think it's just apart of losing your virginity. 

BTW I pushed for 20mins and had zero tearing, just a tiny graze.


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## Radiance

I loved my contractions, with my second baby I didn't feel any contractions at all! (I didn't even know I was in labor!) Both my babies were big, I tore with both of mine!! My contractions, pushing and exiting weren't bad with either! :)


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## hanfromman

Thanks guys! 
I did have a nurse at a GP surgery say once that I'm quite small down there (I had commented that sex was very painful at times) - hopefully I can stretch when it comes to the birth though! I guess maybe something coming from the inside is different than something coming from the outside?!


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## bumblebeexo

I found the contractions worse. Don't get me wrong, it bloody hurt getting her out, but my contractions were on top of each other and it was agony!


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## baby_maybe

Contractions were definitely worse for me every time. I always found the pushing part incredibly satisfying compared to the contractions, as I knew it was close to the end by then and I was very soon to be meeting my baby :)


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## DonnaBallona

I think the exit is such a relief; it feels sooooo good to get the baby out!!!! like when youve been holding in a parp and then you suddenly go or something :blush:

for me, the contractions at the end hurt more but I lost my focus and decided I couldn't cope. once I'd got back into my mojo it wasn't too bad :)

good luck with your birth xx


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## Bevziibubble

Definitely the contractions! I did have an epidural though so I felt less pain than I would've done!


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## Fuze

The contractions were the worst for me, I was induced and ended up going from 5 to 10cm in 45mins so they were very intense for me. At first I was very reluctant to push and I even clamped my legs shut because I was so scared to push as I thought it was going to be so painful but in the end I was pushing for 30mins and it was by far less painful than the contractions. I was so scared of when she was going to crown and the ring of fire, don't get me wrong it hurt as in a burning/stinging pain but was no where near as bad as the contractions or as bad as I thought it was going to be.


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## nov_mum

Contractions totally. The pain with pushing feels useful and the pain with contractions was back to back intense contractions for me. Once I transitioned I pushed those babies out in a few minutes.


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## josephine3

Pushing was way worse for me. I felt totally out of control wheras i could still stay relatively calm during the contractions. I did have a 3rd degree tear tho.


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## lizardbreath

Can no longer have posts here


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## DessyMarie

I couldn't tell you, I didn't feel my contractions and didn't know I was in labor, and pushing her out barely hurt either, I had a pretty easy labor/delivery


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## Niccal

I felt that the difference was the pushing part was productive so I knew that although it hurt I was working towards meeting my lo, whereas the contractions were just a case of sit and bear it and try to breathe through them! So I found the contractions harder to cope with (I was induced too, so they came hard and fast with no real build up)


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## stephanyox

Im not sure really, because its a different type of pain..
with contractions its like really really bad period pain! and once they are there they are agony, but once theve gone its like it didnt happen! 
With pushing, its stinging, burning pain..

I would say for me pushing him out was worse, because i wasnt allowed any gas and air for it! Where as the gas and air helped me through my contractions..

and my LO was 8lb 15oz! Big boyy!


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## veganmama

pushing the baby out was the most painful for sure!


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## kaths101

Contractions for sure!! Ouch!


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## hubblybubbly

Contractions worse for me, I don't even remember the pain of her exiting but I sure remember the contraction pain....
I'm quite small down there too and just had a small tear no stitches needed.
X


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## NaturalMomma

Depends on many factors. For me nothing was "painful", but transition was intense which didn't last long. The baby coming out was an interesting feeling, but was in no way painful. And I had a unmedicated birth.


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## shareema

Contractions for sure, exiting is freeing...


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## rainbowskin

I had natural back to back labor and the contractions were the worst. The actual pushing and ring of fire felt good to me!


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## amjon

hanfromman said:


> Thanks guys!
> I did have a nurse at a GP surgery say once that I'm quite small down there (I had commented that sex was very painful at times) - hopefully I can stretch when it comes to the birth though! I guess maybe something coming from the inside is different than something coming from the outside?!

I took prenatals with DHA the whole pregnancy, so that may have helped me be more stretchy down there.


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## UkCath

contractions.. but not the spaced out ones near the beginning its when they get very close together and you stop getting a break between. adrenaline and excitement take over for the last bit so it doesn't seem as bad.. (i found)


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## MummyToAmberx

I think every labour is different pain wise.

Mean my second was 1000 x more painful because i had SPD, my labour was alot quicker 6hrs vs 27hrs with the first. 

Personally baby coming out happens so quickly its forgot about within 5 mins lol.


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## Wiggler

My first labour the contractions were the worst, but with my second the contractions were very manageable and the baby coming out was the most painful bit x x x


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## ParisJeTadore

Anatomically speaking every individual is so different that it's hard to say which you will find worse. Personally speaking, my later contractions were so bad that pushing out our baby was a cake walk! It really didn't hurt that much (guess it paled in comparison) and even when the Dr. Said,"this is REALLY going to burn" I remember saying,"No, it's really not that bad, really!" lol! Pushing felt like such a relief too. After 26 hours of active labour I was ready for it to all be over with.


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## Lulu1982

hanfromman said:


> Thanks guys!
> I did have a nurse at a GP surgery say once that I'm quite small down there (I had commented that sex was very painful at times) - hopefully I can stretch when it comes to the birth though! I guess maybe something coming from the inside is different than something coming from the outside?!

Contractions for sure!

I've always had terrible trouble having smears and such for the same reasons as you. I didn't experience the ring of fire, didn't have Ny pain relief and didn't having any tears, grazes or bruising after my 8lb baby.:thumbup:


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## hanfromman

Lulu1982 said:


> hanfromman said:
> 
> 
> Thanks guys!
> I did have a nurse at a GP surgery say once that I'm quite small down there (I had commented that sex was very painful at times) - hopefully I can stretch when it comes to the birth though! I guess maybe something coming from the inside is different than something coming from the outside?!
> 
> Contractions for sure!
> 
> I've always had terrible trouble having smears and such for the same reasons as you. I didn't experience the ring of fire, didn't have Ny pain relief and didn't having any tears, grazes or bruising after my 8lb baby.:thumbup:Click to expand...

Oooh there is hope for me then!!
By the way, it's nice to see someone else that lives in Cornwall on here!!:happydance:


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## Nicoleoleole

I had back labor. I HATE contractions. ROF any day! Plus my ROF was minimal... Both babies basically flew out of me (both during practice pushes and before a doctor was ready to catch them!).


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## amanda111308

I was in labor for 56 hours total... contractions sucked, pushing was total relief becuase I felt I was using the pain to do something productive. I would do it again right now to have the experience again. I can't wait to be pregnant and go through another labor and delivery!! (most people think I am insane, but I honestly crave the experience it was so amazing!)


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## Mrs Doddy

My contractions were short whereas the burning from the baby seemed like forever ! The worse thing for me was the stitches


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## mummyclo

Contractions for sure for me! Pushing was a breeze and actually felt good!


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## embojet

Contractions were definately worse for me. Even though I got a 3rd degree tear!


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## dizzygirluk

I've had two types of birth each one the most painful varied. 

With my first I was induced (syntocin drip and an epidural) I found the contractions horrendous and the pushing part + ring of fire _*nothing*_in comparsion! Even though I'd had an epidural I felt the contractions and the Syntocin drip meant I had NO rest bite between them. (I see why they insist on an epi) 

My second was a drug free labour that started naturally. I found the contractions bearable and completely different to my first. (i was shocked at how 'easy' i was finding it..i believed I was only 1cm dialated..they checked me and I was 7!!!!) However the pushing part for me was exsausting. I was pushing for over an hour. The ring of fire was awful. I defiantly found this the worst and most painful part. It was such a shame because the labour had been amazing and nothing like my first where I felt like I was awake on an operating table!

So yeah, for me the most painful parts of labour and birth varied on the circumstances. Its strange how different experiences I've had literally on two ends of the scale! 

X


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## Cin

Contractions were definitely the most painful part for me. The pushing stage just felt like an immense pressure as opposed to pain, even though my baby got stuck for a while and I ended up having a 3rd degree tear. In fact, being prodded by a doctor to gauge how badly I'd torn was the most painful part of my whole experience!


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## rottpaw

I had an epi, so can't really say for sure about the ring of fire part, but I found the contractions to be a million times worse than the actual pushing/delivery (though the pushing and delivery are faster and more intense). My epi did not fully take - to the point that I needed a local anesthetic for the stitches (I tore badly). But honestly, even with an only partly-effective epi, I don't remember any real pain from the actual baby coming out; by then you are SO relieved it will soon be over and you'll be holding that baby! The contractions (and the endless amount of time it seemed to take to dilate - I was induced) were far worse for me. Once I started pushing, at least I felt like I was DOING something and could participate and do something useful. I'm also very small down there so can relate to your concern. But even if you tear, you'll be okay! :hugs:


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## birth guru

A few things can help with both. First, stand up, walk around, get on your hands and knees, slow dance with your partner, and get in the bath or shower but don't lie down in a bed during contractions-it hurts 20 times worse if you lie down.
For pushing the baby out, ask your doctor or midwife to use warm and cold compresses and use oil or KY jelly to help give you a perineal massage while pushing. Also squat, stand, or get on your hands and knees while pushing. It is more effective than on your back. Take a good childbirth class and possibly hire a doula.


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## Eleanor ace

For me pushing was definitely the worst part.


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## goddess25

I would say the contractions are worse because you don't really know when they are going to end. I found the ring of fire exciting because I knew it was almost done.


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## summer rain

For me it's the contractions up to the transition stage, pushing isn't bad for me and crowning doesn't hurt me at all xx


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## aliss

Ring of fire was awesome for me, suh relief! I pushed 1.5 hours (10.5 hours contractions) and had a 1st degree tear


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## MrsAmk

Ok what exactly is this "ring of fire"?? Sounds horrible


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## aliss

MrsAmk said:


> Ok what exactly is this "ring of fire"?? Sounds horrible

It's not horrible don't worry! It's when the baby crowns & the head is coming out. Some women say it is the most painful part, others say the most relieving. I find a lot of women who say it is the most painful are those who have had epidurals and then can feel it unlike the contractions previously. IMO it was a relief!


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## shelx

I would have said contractions because they are sooo sore and often and it is hell :haha:
but on the other hand the baby coming out i actually squelled and didnt with contractions :haha:


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## Mummy2B21

Contractions were 10x worse.


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## Bats11

Oh boy the contractions are a killer!!

Last baby was epidural, I was in heaven!


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## Seity

Contractions!


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## Dahlia2007

Wow i can finally answer this bc I had a drug free birth (I would look this thread while still pregnant).

For me, the contractions were definitely worse. Raw pain it was. 

Pushing was still painful, but it had a different feel to it. When the baby was exiting, pushing her past the pubic bone was the most stretching feeling. Then the ring of fire, was like a stinging, where you just wanna keep pushing, but they have you wait and stretch your skin so you don't tear. That was almost torture, but quick. 

Natural is the way to go though, I felt great after, compared to how I felt with my first when I had an epidural.


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## Butterfly89

It seems to be individual from reading this whole discussion! 

I've also worried about that. Every doctor I've had for physicals (which is unfortunately a lot because of stupid endometroisis, too many people have seen my undercarriage grr ROFL) always seems to have to comment that I am small. It got to the point where I just say "Thank you". xD But it makes me self conscious. I had a bad time of it the first 10 times I DTD too... you're so not alone. TMI but the first few times were like a CSI crime scene. So not sexy. =( I still want a redo where there are nice gauzy curtains and candles and red rose petals and lingerie and no crazy pain.

Anyway. Because of that, I've been worried like wth will happen during birth if THAT was bad. But I finally opened up that worry to my mom (so awkward but worth it) and she said DON'T WORRY. She was the same way and said its not even comparable to birth. And she said having her first baby (which was me) didn't change anything down there in terms of tightness or bladder control so she was kind of glad to be small after, lol. Though she said pregnancy itself did change the "positioning" of things in a good way, she said sex was actually more enjoyable and more comfortable after having babies, less things being jostled around in there and more sensation, lol. (I would guess she means cervix gets higher?? Not sure lol.. didn't ask details...)

I used to worry that too small = more stretching and more... ruination of the pelvic floor. But apparently its the opposite! Not to say that regular sized ladies are doomed to looseness either but I think its more it doesn't matter than one way is better than the other. As long as you do your kegels and have strong muscles (not rigid, because that can be bad too), then your body can stretch more than you know. It's a better exit than entrance, I guess. Heehee.

... I always type more than I mean too.


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## AimeeM

For me contractions until I had my third, wow did he hurt on the way out. I thought something was wrong. He was born face and body up. Ouch.

The shoulders can get stuck, my second did. This is more position of baby and the size of the pelvis. If your concerned about this then your midwife would be good to discuss it with.


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## span

For me it was the contractions as they were very intense and it's not a pain you can avoid (unles you have an epidural I guess). The ring of fire was very unomfortable and I think the worry affected how good my pushing was as I do think I held back a bit. At least you know the ring of fire is very short lived whereas, at the time, I thought my contractions would go on for hours (but the mega painful ones, that had me considering an epidural, only lasted about half an hour). :flower:


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## Xlaura_BellaX

100% contractions, i wouldn't even call the baby exiting painful......just really powerful experience if that makes sense


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## Vanillabean01

I would definitely say pushing baby out!!! I had three days of contractions and other than my water having to be broken (I arrived at the hospital 9cm and waters still intact) I had no other interventions. The 'ring of fire' certainly was the worst and the best part... It hurt badly but at the same time, it was relief!!! 

Either way, for me, it was all manageable!! Even having labored for 3 days.


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## Karkey

I found the contractions worse, altough wen the babys head is being delivered u get the "Ring of Fire", only advice i can give u there though is to push through it, the longer u hold off the longer it lasts.


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## sequeena

Mmm.... to me it was the crowning of his head. I spent several days in labour and 57 minutes pushing and those 57 minutes were awful. The contractions were terrible too (back to back) but that part went by quite quickly.


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## MummyToAmberx

Contractions no competition!

When they get to point is no gaps and go on for hour (or more) 

Baby coming out is very much seconds compared to all that pain.


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## kerrie24

Contractions,without a doubt.


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## Mum21boy1girl

for me it was exiting of the baby, i tore pretty bad both times, so i didnt get the relief afterwards it still hurt for ages!!


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## gizmodo

The ring of fire for me OUCH! The contractions were fine.


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## NatashaMartin

Really my first Contractions was worst. Hope not for second time.


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## Hunbun

Although I would say the ring of fire was by far the most painful. The contractions went on for so long... To me they were far worse


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## andyjewell

For me definitely pushing. Feels like i'm being cut in half with a chainsaw lol ah, the joys of natural birth lol


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## x_WelshGirl_x

For me it was the contractions, midwife did say they would be more painful as Alex was turning back to back with every contraction. This was with no pain relief too and I'm a massive wimp but can't wait to do it again!


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## SophiaEli

IMHO, Pain in contractions depends on the stage... 
As for me (I gave birth to my little princess on Dec 29th!), the pain at the beginning was a bit relieved by massage and some movements - thanks to my dear hubby and a fitball! But when it came close to the "exit" I could hardly bear such pain - that was awful!!! Especially my back suffered! :cry:
Also I failed to do it right at the very important moment. That was so difficult to hold my breath and push the baby at the same time - I did it in the wrong direction and was red in face like a tomato I guess. Due to that sad fact, the fetal expulsion was a bit longer that it should have been :cry:

BTW, you should worry about baby's head not shoulders.. After "head birth" that was very easy to push the remaining "parts", believe me ;-) 
I've heard that an episiotomy can be done against vaginal tears. 
Unfortunately, I got internal tears and they still hurt :growlmad:


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## Mrs Doddy

The pushing and ring of fire for me - although it was quicker it didn't feel like it at the time x


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## Indi84

Contractions for me, lo was back to back and I just used gas and air, which didn't do anything for me, not that I would let go of it lol.
Back pain like I've never experienced before, every 30 seconds, for 14 hours! Pushing him out was a relief haha


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## aly1234

I'd push a baby out ANY DAY over contractions! LOL


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## AJBliss

Contractions were by far the worst part. The "exit" was not bad at all, just frustrating as it seemed to take AGES. I could feel her head moving down, yay! And then it would bungee right back up, awww. She did come out eventually, though, and I'll be doing it all again later this year. I'd do five labours if it meant I could skip the first half of pregnancy, lol!


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