# Delivered my sleeping baby boy yesterday..



## Ali33

I am so heartbroken. I delivered our baby Aidan yesterday at 24 weeks via regular delivery. They estimate that he passed a few weeks before. I started having brown mucus like discharge, went to the ER where they told me there was no heart beat and he was measuring smaller than 24 weeks. This is my 2nd time grieving for Aidan. When we originally got pregnant we were told I had a blighted ovum. Due to financial reasons I didn't have the d&c and waiting for everything to pass naturally. I found out at almost 17 weeks that we did have a viable baby with a nice heart beat of 157. I never imagined that we would have to grieve him again. Since I had a regular delivery they are going to do some tests to see if they can see what might have happened to him. They also did a bunch of blood tests on me to see if maybe I had some sort of viral infection or something that might have caused it. My placenta, cervix, and uterus all looked good. The Dr said a lot of the time it is just a random thing that happens with no cause at all. 
We are so heartbroken and devastated. I want to just go back to the hospital and bring my baby home. We are either going to bury him or cremate him, not sure which one yet. I feel like my heart will never stop breaking. My husband is so upset, would have been his first child and he desperately wanted a son. I have a 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship. How do you ladies help your husbands grieve?


----------



## gnomette

I am so sorry to hear about you little boy xx as for helping your husband all you can do is talk work things through together x cuddle cry shout it out if you need to xx


----------



## xxDreamxx

I am so sorry for your loss. I responded in another thread to you about me also delivering our baby the same day as you. I was 16 weeks exactly on May 10th and we lost our little girl, similar situation to yourself. It's heart breaking isn't it, I literally feel like my heart has been ripped out and like the sobbing will never end.

Please feel free to private message me should you wish to talk.

{hugs}

Susan


----------



## Andypanda6570

I am so deeply sorry for both your losses.. :cry: It is just devastating and your heart does literally break.. I am so sorry and if anyone ever needs a friend I am always here.. Andrea :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## twinmummy06

Ali, after everything you have been through I am so sorry to find you here :cry: I remember you from the September due date thread :hugs: Nothing I say can make it any easier or heal your pain, but it does get a little better/easier (is there a right word for that :( )
I'm almost 8 weeks post losing our daughter and it still hurts but I can function normally again.

Stay strong hun and if you ever need to talk I'm here xoxo


----------



## Ali33

twinmummy06 said:


> Ali, after everything you have been through I am so sorry to find you here :cry: I remember you from the September due date thread :hugs: Nothing I say can make it any easier or heal your pain, but it does get a little better/easier (is there a right word for that :( )
> I'm almost 8 weeks post losing our daughter and it still hurts but I can function normally again.
> 
> Stay strong hun and if you ever need to talk I'm here xoxo

oh no, I remember you too! I am so sorry for your loss. :( Are you going to try again any time soon? I want to try right away but waiting for the results back on Aidan and my blood work.. 
I hate that we both have to deal with this. :cry:


----------



## twinmummy06

I have been through a lot of stuffing around but decided to TTC right away, even though the doctor recommended 3 months waiting. I had a piece of retained placenta (after delivering her and majority of the placenta naturally - it broke. And having a D and C the same night). So 6 days ago I had a hysteroscopy and curette to get the last piece out. I am almost positive I ovulated the same day :dohh:
So in the TWW finally but not holding much hope :(


----------



## Ali33

twinmummy06 said:


> I have been through a lot of stuffing around but decided to TTC right away, even though the doctor recommended 3 months waiting. I had a piece of retained placenta (after delivering her and majority of the placenta naturally - it broke. And having a D and C the same night). So 6 days ago I had a hysteroscopy and curette to get the last piece out. I am almost positive I ovulated the same day :dohh:
> So in the TWW finally but not holding much hope :(

I was also told to wait but don't want to. Is that bad? I want to be pregnant again so bad but I am also terrified. I was lucky, my water broke and out came baby and placenta. Thank God it was so quick. I was scheduled for a d&e on Tuesday but I went into labor about 11pm, got to the hospital about 2:30am and delivered at 4:41am. They had just gotten my IV in, hubby wasn't even in the room. I felt like I had to pee so bad and had so much pressure and bam!, out he came.. Labor was so painful, didn't have any pain meds. I am quite proud of myself as funny as that may sound. 
How are you doing though? I feel ok one hour, next hour I want to just cry and cry..


----------



## twinmummy06

I was actually in hospital being dilated to make the d and c easier - I delivered her in the shower prepping for the d and c. I am so grateful that those turn of events meant I got to meet her. You should be proud too. I know the feeling - after two csections is the only labour I've had. 

I have no idea if its bad not to wait - all the things I'm getting are to either wait a cycle or 3 or people who don't wait. There doesn't seen to be any research that not waiting is bad or good. But I guess it would depend why it happened as well - ours was chromosomal, but we didnt know that when we started TTC. 
How your feeling is completely normal. I was an emotional mess for weeks. It has gradually gotten easier. I still have my down moments but I can get through the day.


----------



## sara8100

Felt i needed to reply. Lost my girl on 20 th April at 20 weeks im also desperate to be pregnant again. It's only been three weeks but i ovulated Thursday but was on side i don't have a tube. Devastated. Got another month to wait and my partner is in and out of wanting one as it was his first and he's struggling just scared he will change his mind again before i ovulate again. Was my first daughter as i have three boys. Waiting for post mortem results is killing me. X


----------



## Ali33

sara8100 said:


> Felt i needed to reply. Lost my girl on 20 th April at 20 weeks im also desperate to be pregnant again. It's only been three weeks but i ovulated Thursday but was on side i don't have a tube. Devastated. Got another month to wait and my partner is in and out of wanting one as it was his first and he's struggling just scared he will change his mind again before i ovulate again. Was my first daughter as i have three boys. Waiting for post mortem results is killing me. X

I am so sorry for your loss. This would have been his first child and he desperately wanted a son. He goes through periods of wanting to try again and not wanting to. I am so scared but do want to get pregnant again. Hopefully you get your results soon. I should have mine at my June 18th appt. Called mortuaries today and when I found the one we wanted to use I couldn't even tell them his name, had to have my 10 year old daughter give it to them because I was crying so hard.. Been a very emotional day..


----------



## twinmummy06

:hugs: Sara and Ali


----------



## sunflower82

I'm sorry for your loss I know how you 
Feel I lost my baby girl at 18 weeks march 
2nd


----------



## Ali33

sunflower82 said:


> I'm sorry for your loss I know how you
> Feel I lost my baby girl at 18 weeks march
> 2nd

I am so sorry for your loss. :hugs:


----------



## needshelp

I'm sooo sorry for your losses and sad we all have to meet in here...I lost my precious baby boy on April 28 at 16 weeks. Heart beat had stopped. Had a cvs at 12 weeks due to a high Nuchal T and they ruled at chromosomal and 200 genetics. So now we are waiting for post mortem results as well! I'm sooo upset and don't know what to do as far as waiting. My doctor told me to wait at least 4 months but I am not sure if it's for medical or mental reasons! it's been almost three weeks and I have severe cramping so thinking maybe I'm ovulating already...not sure though as I still have some minor dark discharge (sorry for the TMI) but I'm soooo torn as to what to do! part of me wants another baby soooo badly and the other finds me terrified of going through this again! I hear you when you say you are proud of yourself for delivering with no pain meds! You go mama!!! I had the same thing happen and was so proud I delivered our son naturally as I had a c section with my first! this may have been my only chance to ever deliver a baby naturally so I'm thankful for that and for the fact I got to meet him!!! I find myself in moods going up and down quickly and sometimes I want to be around people and others I just want to scream and tell them to leave me alone!! I feel terrible!!! hugs to you all!!:hugs:


----------

