# update about my foster kids leaving



## noshowjo

hi lovely ladies . well i got the call i was dreading today , adoption panel have agreed that my lovely little foster daughter will be adopted with her siblings .:cry: 
they have a adopted family for her siblings and are in talks now about weather this family will take el too . as they said it would be amazing for her to be with her siblings , i understand thet but my heart is breaking . two and a half years of her being mine , 
my other foster daughter will leave me too but she is going back to her mum , as the mum has done so well they are going to reunite her, im not as worried about this as its wat my fd wants and i have a ok relationship with mum so ill still see my fd . 
i just cant get my head round el going , i love her so much , i am hoping its not rushed through and i get a xmas with her before she goes .
social worker has told me to start doing a life book for el to take with her , so we are a piece in the puzzle to her life when she grows up . so plan on getting scap books and cinema tickets ect making a collage of her life with us ,


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## WANBMUM

AAAAWWWWWWWWWWW your post has brought me to tears, you poor thing. I have such great respect for you, you should be so so proud of yourself for doing an amazing thing. 
Have you had to part with children before? It is clear El is so special to you and I know I said it before but you will always be a massive part of her life no matter what. 
To do a memory book/life book is a great idea. You could add a little letter from you aswell perhaps. Would you add that if she ever wants to visit she is more than welcome, so that at least when she gets older maybe she will know she is always welcome? Im not sure if this is something you would be allowed or want to do, but thats what I think I would do. I think it would help me in some way to know that she knows she has someone that loved her unconditionally.
Sending you lots of hugs and a massive pat on the back for your incredible work, this world needs more people like you and there are not many people that would bring these children into their home so well done XXX


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## noshowjo

WANBMUM said:


> AAAAWWWWWWWWWWW your post has brought me to tears, you poor thing. I have such great respect for you, you should be so so proud of yourself for doing an amazing thing.
> Have you had to part with children before? It is clear El is so special to you and I know I said it before but you will always be a massive part of her life no matter what.
> To do a memory book/life book is a great idea. You could add a little letter from you aswell perhaps. Would you add that if she ever wants to visit she is more than welcome, so that at least when she gets older maybe she will know she is always welcome? Im not sure if this is something you would be allowed or want to do, but thats what I think I would do. I think it would help me in some way to know that she knows she has someone that loved her unconditionally.
> Sending you lots of hugs and a massive pat on the back for your incredible work, this world needs more people like you and there are not many people that would bring these children into their home so well done XXX

thankyou very much for your reply xx means a lot xx


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## Redfraggle

:cry: Oh I am so sorry to hear that. Your post is heartbreaking to read.

The memory book is great. She will always remember her time with you and everything you have taught her will stay with her for life. She'll always be a part of you. And I hope that there is some way you can keep in touch with her.

Will you take on another foster child? 

:hugs:


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## Freya

o gosh, my heart is breaking for you. She may be your fd but your feelings are no different to her being your own. I can not bear to imagine how it feels. I wish I could say something that would help lessen the pain, but being with her siblings is absolutely the right thing, as long as the adoptive family can take her on.

A memory book/scrap book will be invaluable. Depending on her age, can you remain in contact with her via emails, letters etc? Or is that considered inappropriate? It would be such a shame to sever such a strong bond as you have with her, when it can only be a positive dimension to FD life as she grows up. CHildren need to know they have people that love and care for them, they thrive on it!

XXXX


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## noshowjo

Redfraggle said:


> :cry: Oh I am so sorry to hear that. Your post is heartbreaking to read.
> 
> The memory book is great. She will always remember her time with you and everything you have taught her will stay with her for life. She'll always be a part of you. And I hope that there is some way you can keep in touch with her.
> 
> Will you take on another foster child?
> 
> :hugs:

hi ya hun , yes i will take on another child but i will take a break first . another foster carer told me to take another child straight away , to keep busy and try an avoid mourning over lys . but another foster carer said ill need a short break maybe a holiday to re charge my batteties and be ready for the next child :shrug: 
as i have 2 sons of my own who i know will feel sad when she gone , i think they will need a little break , x


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## noshowjo

Freya said:


> o gosh, my heart is breaking for you. She may be your fd but your feelings are no different to her being your own. I can not bear to imagine how it feels. I wish I could say something that would help lessen the pain, but being with her siblings is absolutely the right thing, as long as the adoptive family can take her on.
> 
> A memory book/scrap book will be invaluable. Depending on her age, can you remain in contact with her via emails, letters etc? Or is that considered inappropriate? It would be such a shame to sever such a strong bond as you have with her, when it can only be a positive dimension to FD life as she grows up. CHildren need to know they have people that love and care for them, they thrive on it!
> 
> XXXX

staying in touch is really all up to the new family , but im sure they will let me see her . ( i hope ) 
i could understand if she was a baby , if they didnt want me too . but she is 5 so she knows she has been with me . 
i was gonna do one of them teddys that have a message , ( like a recording ) 
but i am not sure this will help her move on ? if she presses the teddy and hears my voice then is upset , that would make me feel alfull .


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## hopeandpray

:hugs: I think that it would be nice for her but maybe if you asked for it to be given to her after the first few weeks so that she will be a little more settled and less likely to be upset.
I think that being a foster parent must be one of the most difficult things that anyone could do. I think that you are amazing for what you have done with this little girl and I admire you so much


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## Care76

I am so sorry you are going through this. Will this be the first time a child has left you? It doesn't really matter as the bond can be strong regardless. I hope you can stay in touch. We fostered 4 kids and I haven't been able to see any of them. I know where the first two are though, but the boys we were supposed to adopt we can't find out anything. 

I hope they take their time and do it right. For your sake and your FDs. If you need to talk pm me, I know how it feels. (((hugs)))


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