# I'm in a tricky situation..



## nadia511

This is going to sound so cliché, and I can't believe I've become one of those girls. I am 16 years old. A few weeks ago, I drunkenly slept with one of my best friend's boyfriend. And now, I've found out I'm pregnant. We're kind of friends and I never thought anything like this might happen, he nor I are the type of people to sneak around. 

I've not yet decided what I want to do (I'm roughly 6/7 weeks along). But I'm having conflicting thoughts on how I should go about this. Do I tell him? Do I tell her? So far I've only told another of my best friends that I trust entirely. My heads everywhere right now, and what I want is some guidance, with both how I should deal with the father, and what the best thing to do in this situation is.


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## Kiwiberry

The first thing i think you should do is let your parents know. Do you have a good relationship with them? You will need to setup your first OB-GYN appointment. You and your baby's health are the first thing you should be concerned about. As for the young man who is the baby's father, I would tell him. He does deserve to know. Telling your friend however is honestly up to you, she is not on a need-to-know basis but she probably will find out. So it's really all up to whether or not you want to face that consequence. I wish you the best of luck sweetie. I hope you figure out things and they work out exactly the way you want them to.

Being a young parent is tough but you can do it just keep your head up mama.


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## AlliW1013

nadia511 said:


> This is going to sound so cliché, and I can't believe I've become one of those girls. I am 16 years old. A few weeks ago, I drunkenly slept with one of my best friend's boyfriend. And now, I've found out I'm pregnant. We're kind of friends and I never thought anything like this might happen, he nor I are the type of people to sneak around.
> 
> I've not yet decided what I want to do (I'm roughly 6/7 weeks along). But I'm having conflicting thoughts on how I should go about this. Do I tell him? Do I tell her? So far I've only told another of my best friends that I trust entirely. My heads everywhere right now, and what I want is some guidance, with both how I should deal with the father, and what the best thing to do in this situation is.

As a mom about 3 years older from you here in June, here's my advice to you; Be honest. You need to tell the father of the baby that you're pregnant, or it could do more harm than good for the baby. I know what it's like growing up without a father, and it's probably the worst experience you can ever feel as a child. If he walks away from that baby knowing it's his, then that's his loss and you could get child support. But, if he's willing to accept that he made that baby and is willing to stay with you, then that will be a really big help to you and to that baby in the long run. 

I also believe that you should tell your friend what you did. I know it's going to be hard, but I think she should know what happened and that you're sorry. She may be angry at you for a while, and she may be understanding and realize that you getting pregnant this early in your life is punishment enough. Either way though, being honest is better than lying.

As for what you should do with your baby, I think that if you want to keep the baby, then go for it. But be prepared to deal with everything that comes with it. Babies are hard work, and pregnancy can be hard as well, but if you put your mind to it then you should be able to do it :). If you don't want to keep your baby, then I would look into adoption as a first option so families who can't have kids can possibly take that little baby into their home. If that doesn't suit you, you can always look towards getting an abortion. Whatever you feel you want to do, go for it :). It's your body, and your baby. The decision is all up to you.


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## aidensxmomma

First and foremost, keep hanging in there hun. :hugs: Getting pregnant at 16 is a big deal so be gentle with yourself, think things through, and don't stress too much. Everything will work out somehow in the end. 

A good place to start would be to tell your parents. Hopefully, they can be supportive and help you figure things out. And you also need to tell the baby's father. He deserves to know. But remember, teenage boys can be quite stupid and he may not react well. Just prepare yourself for that. In time, he may come around. The same is true for your parents if they react badly at first. As for your friend, I think that you should tell her. Although you may want to wait until you've had time to come to terms with everything and have a plan, etc. It'll make dealing with whatever reaction she has easier.

Finally, if you want to keep the baby, then do it. It will be challenging but it's entirely possible to have and raise a child at 16. Not everyone will be supportive of it, but if it's what you want to do, then do it. You can. :)

I got pregnant with my son shortly after I turned 16. I had only been with his dad for a couple weeks at the time and it came as a huge shock. I was in denial for probably a month before I even decided to test. It was all just incredibly stressful and I was freaking out. Fortunately, my mom was supportive when I told her. Other family members weren't quite so supportive. But in the end, everyone came around. My son was born a little more than a month before my 17th birthday and he's been the absolute light of my life ever since. It was really hard at first, I won't lie. It was a hard to learn how to be a parent and how to be in a relationship with his dad and how to balance everything. But I went back to high school in the fall when my son was 5 months old and graduated on time (I was pregnant with my second by the time I graduated as well). I'm now 24 and my son is 8. It's been a bumpy road to get to where we are now, but having him is still the best decision I've ever made in my life. 

I'm sorry for writing a novel - I figured it might help if I told a little of my story, too. If you need anyone to talk to or want some advice, feel free to PM me. I've been in a similar situation and might be able to help some. If anything, I'm a good listener. :)

So take a deep breath. Everything will work out. :flower:


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## DaisyDreamer

I agree with everything PP's have said.

Tell your parents, see a doctor, be upfront with the father of the baby and your best friend.

Like they all have said, pregnancy and babies are hard work. There will be a lot of judgments and criticisms but you will be surprised at who will support you also. Just remember you are not alone in this

Keep us updated :)


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## Waiting4babe

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I understand that is a tough situation. My advice would be to be honest with everyone. Are you wanting to keep it or place it for adoption? Have you thought about your options? Feel free to message me. I'd love to be a support for you.


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## MissYogi

First of all, :hugs:, that sounds like a really tough situation and you must be feeling really stressed. 

I know I should tell you to tell your parents right away, although I feel that I would be a hypocrite if I said that because I'm sure if I was in your situation that would be the last thing I'd want to do based on personal, complex relationship dynamics. But it is important that you tell someone who can help you to guide you through this, someone you trust who can help you make this decision. 

Then it will be really important to make an appointment with a doctor to make sure you are healthy because no matter what you decide to do your body is very important. 

As for telling your friend and her boyfriend, it is definitely up to you, although I think that you will feel really guilty to keep it a secret. 

Just remember that whatever you decide to do, will be the right decision for you. Lots of people are going to tell you what they think you have to do, but in the end it is your decision. Take your time to think through your options and decide what makes the most sense for you. Good luck in your journey!


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## Kmx

Really feel for you in this situation. We have all been there - done something which isn't the "right" thing to do. Don't beat yourself up about it. 

First be honest with yourself - what do you want to do? You will know deep down. 

If you don't want to go ahead then I personally (rightly or wrongly) wouldn't disclose the information to your friend. 

If you do then you will need emotional support. It will be hard but I guarantee you in ten years time it will be forgotten and forgiven and you won't regret it.


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## nadia511

Thank you to everyone for their support and guidance, it was much needed. I followed what most of you said which is to tell my parents. They didn't take it so well, but I'm sure not many parents would. I decided not to disclose who the father of the baby is, as I haven't made up my mind of what I want to do. I also have not yet told the father of the baby for this reason. I have a doctor appointment booked for next week to see what's going on. Once again, thank you for your help. I'll be sure to keep you updated. :)


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## DaisyDreamer

Thanks for letting us know. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you to tell your parents, but glad you are getting set with a Drs appointment. Hope it all goes well for you dear Xx


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## Waiting4babe

nadia511 said:


> Thank you to everyone for their support and guidance, it was much needed. I followed what most of you said which is to tell my parents. They didn't take it so well, but I'm sure not many parents would. I decided not to disclose who the father of the baby is, as I haven't made up my mind of what I want to do. I also have not yet told the father of the baby for this reason. I have a doctor appointment booked for next week to see what's going on. Once again, thank you for your help. I'll be sure to keep you updated. :)

I'm glad you have told your parents. I am sure that was a very difficult thing to do. Do you have anyone around you to support you?


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## nadia511

Waiting4babe said:


> I'm glad you have told your parents. I am sure that was a very difficult thing to do. Do you have anyone around you to support you?

My parents are supporting me, in a sense, they're just not happy about it. We're not on the best of terms but they're not turning their backs on me. It doesn't help that I'm hiding who the father is from them, which I know is quite immature but I just don't think it's the right time. The friend I have told is also great for moral support.


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## DaisyDreamer

nadia511 said:


> Waiting4babe said:
> 
> 
> I'm glad you have told your parents. I am sure that was a very difficult thing to do. Do you have anyone around you to support you?
> 
> My parents are supporting me, in a sense, they're just not happy about it. We're not on the best of terms but they're not turning their backs on me. It doesn't help that I'm hiding who the father is from them, which I know is quite immature but I just don't think it's the right time. The friend I have told is also great for moral support.Click to expand...

Glad they are supporting you. I'm sure they will come around, have you given any more thought to what the outcome will be?

Also happy to hear you have a friend that is supporting you, that always helps! :hugs2:


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## Kiwiberry

nadia511 said:


> Waiting4babe said:
> 
> 
> I'm glad you have told your parents. I am sure that was a very difficult thing to do. Do you have anyone around you to support you?
> 
> My parents are supporting me, in a sense, they're just not happy about it. We're not on the best of terms but they're not turning their backs on me. It doesn't help that I'm hiding who the father is from them, which I know is quite immature but I just don't think it's the right time. The friend I have told is also great for moral support.Click to expand...

So glad to hear you told them and have a good support system. I'm happy to heat you have your first appointment too!! We are all here for you hun :hugs:.


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## nadia511

DaisyDreamer said:


> Glad they are supporting you. I'm sure they will come around, have you given any more thought to what the outcome will be?
> 
> Also happy to hear you have a friend that is supporting you, that always helps! :hugs2:

I know how hard it is to take in, so I understand they need some time to process like I did. Telling my parents has actually made it sink in a little more, and made it seem more real so I've been doing a lot of thinking. It's still early days so I don't want to rush into any rash decisions when there is plenty of time to think things through properly. However, I have been taking in the factors of each option I have. I believe I have quite a lot of maturity for my age (even if what got me in this position was an immature action) so I've been able to convince myself I'm able to make the appropriate decisions. 

It is great having that friend there, although she can't help me out much as she doesn't know about these things herself, she's someone I can get my feelings out to.


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## DaisyDreamer

Well hun you have us here on BnB we have lots of experience and good advice for you :)


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## Waiting4babe

nadia511 said:


> DaisyDreamer said:
> 
> 
> Glad they are supporting you. I'm sure they will come around, have you given any more thought to what the outcome will be?
> 
> Also happy to hear you have a friend that is supporting you, that always helps! :hugs2:
> 
> I know how hard it is to take in, so I understand they need some time to process like I did. Telling my parents has actually made it sink in a little more, and made it seem more real so I've been doing a lot of thinking. It's still early days so I don't want to rush into any rash decisions when there is plenty of time to think things through properly. However, I have been taking in the factors of each option I have. I believe I have quite a lot of maturity for my age (even if what got me in this position was an immature action) so I've been able to convince myself I'm able to make the appropriate decisions.
> 
> It is great having that friend there, although she can't help me out much as she doesn't know about these things herself, she's someone I can get my feelings out to.Click to expand...

I'm glad you have support from them. You definitely seem like you are very mature for your age. What do you think you are wanting to do?


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## MissYogi

You sound like an incredibly mature lady and I'm sure that you will come to the right decision for yourself. Have you thought of starting on any prenatal vitamins? It's generally good to take those as early as possible, and they are just great for general women's health as well so it's a win win!


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## nadia511

I don't know exactly what I want to do yet, no, but I think I am going through with the pregnancy.

And yes, I started taking prenatal vitamins yesterday. 

Thanks again for all the help, I hope all of your babies/pregnancies are doing well!


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## Waiting4babe

nadia511 said:


> I don't know exactly what I want to do yet, no, but I think I am going through with the pregnancy.
> 
> And yes, I started taking prenatal vitamins yesterday.
> 
> Thanks again for all the help, I hope all of your babies/pregnancies are doing well!

Well that is good. If you want to text me you can. I'd love to get to know you and support you. My email is [email protected] you can email me and I can give you my number


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## DaisyDreamer

Same here, if you'd like to contact me I will send you my email in PM or we can chat here if you'd like that too.

I'm 20 but fell pregnant and gave birth at 19. A little older than you but to be honest I was lucky that I didn't get pregnant when I was younger. Anyway big :hugs2:


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## MissYogi

Hope everything is going alright and that your parents are coming around to it. Have you thought about telling the father or your friend yet? And how are you feeling physically?


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## nadia511

MissYogi said:


> Hope everything is going alright and that your parents are coming around to it. Have you thought about telling the father or your friend yet? And how are you feeling physically?

I have thought about telling the father as I know it's something I have to do, although I don't know how exactly I'm going to do it. As for my friend, I think the best thing to do is me and the father tell her together rather than drop the bomb on both of them at the same time.

Physically, I'm actually not feeling to bad. Slight headaches, a little nausea but no sickness, nothing I can't handle. Breast tenderness, but nothing much different than how they get during my time of the month. I'm hoping it stays this way and I don't start vomiting every chance I get.


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## aidensxmomma

Im glad you told your patents. Its definitely a hard thing to do, but it does help everything feel more real. My parents weren't happy when I got pregnant (the first or second time) and neither was my grandma. Me and her are incredibly close and we actually stopped talking for a while because she was so upset with me. But after a while, things settled down and she came around. She's actually the one who helped watch my son so I could go to school. After my son was born, everyone settled and my kids are so well loved by all their family, even though when I got pregnant wasn't an ideal time by any means.

Im glad that you've started taking vitamins and plan on calling the doctor. Just take this whole journey step by step (as you seem to be doing). :) As others have said, if you ever want to talk or get some advice or anything, feel free to pm me for contact info. 

Thanks for keeping us updated. I hope your pregnancy symptoms stay mild :)


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## ClairAye

It's great you told your parents, at 16 that's one of the hardest parts! I fell pregnant with my first a couple of months before turning 17 and my parents reacted terribly, my mum took a few weeks to start coming around and my dad didn't acknowledge my pregnancy (he'd also hardly acknowledge me) until I was about 27 weeks along. However, when my son was born he was over the moon and now he dotes on both of my children. It's not the same but I had only known my children's father for about 1.5 months before I fell pregnant and we had been officially together for just 2 weeks when I conceived.

My son turned 4 a few days ago and I am now 21. You can message me on here if you'd like to ask anything. :)


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## nadia511

Hi guys!
I just thought I'd let you all know that today I had my first appointment, and it was extremely scary and surreal. The confirmation, the questions, the due date, it all lead me to tears, it was too overwhelming for my hormonal brain to handle. However, when I got home and was able to calm myself down, I felt a huge relief that my pregnancy was now being monitored and somewhat controlled. I didn't actually get to see an ultrasound today as there aren't any concerns, so that's something I have to look forward to. The next milestone is telling the father, which I've preparing myself to do. I honestly can't tell what the reaction will be, so I guess all I can do is wait until I build up the courage to do it.


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## MissYogi

That must have been pretty overwhelming going for your first appointment. You're right, though, it is great that it is now being monitored and you can take care of yourself physically. I think for most pregnancies they don't ultrasound until 20 weeks if everything is going normally. What is your due date? I know you are probably feeling such a mixture of emotions right now, but please know that you are doing fantastically and you are handling this very maturely and I'm super impressed with how strong you sound. Best of luck with telling the father!


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## nadia511

Honestly, I'm internally screaming every minute. But thank you for the reassurance that my mind is in the right place. 
Also, my due date is January 7.


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## LittleLala

Wishing you the best of luck telling the father. I know that it must be so scary but you can do it. Xxx


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## DaisyDreamer

Congrats Nadia,you did the right thing seeing the doctor
Jan 7th. might have a new years baby

Small steps :hugs2:


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## aidensxmomma

I'm glad you were able to get to the doctors and it's helping you feel a little better. I had my first ultrasound around 12 weeks with my first two pregnancies. I think that's the general guideline in the US. 

Good luck with telling the father. I'm sure it'll be difficult, but you have already proven that you are a strong young woman, so I'm sure you'll do fine :)

Just keep moving forward one step at a time. :hugs:


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## momtjc

so proud of you for talking to your parents and seeing a doctor. this can be an overwhelming situation with a lot of things to think about, but taking it one step at a time each day is the best way to handle difficult decisions. keeping your health and your baby's health at the top of your list is so important. there are probably resources in your community (like a Pregnancy Resource Center) that can also support you as well. hugs to you.....keep us posted; we care about YOU


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## nadia511

So, I suffered my first bout of morning sickness yesterday morning, first thing after waking up. Having an empty stomach didn't make the situation any better. This morning I was fine, I just felt a little nauseous for about a half hour. I'm also having this weird physical craving, like a craving for human contact. Is this something any of you experienced? This is also making me super agitated because I can't get that physical contact I'm wanting. 

I still haven't told the father, I'm really struggling to find the opportunity and to compose myself. I can't even express how difficult getting into the position to tell him privately is.


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## DaisyDreamer

Hi Nadia, sorry you are experiencing sickness. I had it really bad fir the first trimester. Some mornings it was unavoidable. But I found that if I nibbled on fruit like oranges, apples, pears, and some water I usually was able to deal with the nausea

:hugs2: is there a way to call him and try to set something up? Hope you are able to get this off your chest.


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## nadia511

Thanks. I'll keep that in mind.

I could I guess, but I don't really want my friend knowing. Given the situation, I'm not sure whether he'd tell her that I arranged it or not. Usually he would, but now I'm not sure.


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## DaisyDreamer

nadia511 said:


> Thanks. I'll keep that in mind.
> 
> I could I guess, but I don't really want my friend knowing. Given the situation, I'm not sure whether he'd tell her that I arranged it or not. Usually he would, but now I'm not sure.

Well I suppose the truth is going to have to come out one way or another.
How are your parents doing, have they come around at all? Do you have any scans booked :)


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## nadia511

To be honest, my parents haven't really said all that much about the situation. Because it's still kind of like nothing has changed, so I think they're still processing. I have a scan booked in just over 2 week, and I'm so excited!


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## DaisyDreamer

nadia511 said:


> To be honest, my parents haven't really said all that much about the situation. Because it's still kind of like nothing has changed, so I think they're still processing. I have a scan booked in just over 2 week, and I'm so excited!

Yay! How exciting. Are you planning on finding out the sex? Keep us posted~


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## nadia511

I'll definitely be finding out the gender, yes. It won't be for another couple of months yet though, which I'm sure you already knew. I'm sure you'll know as soon as I know, haha.


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## Kiwiberry

Hey hun just checking up to see how you are doing :).


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## nadia511

Kiwiberry said:


> Hey hun just checking up to see how you are doing :).

I'm still doing good, thank you!! Not much has changed or progressed yet, but I'm definitely making my way up there. Symptoms are still pretty mild which I definitely cannot complain about. Overall, I'm feeling great.


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## Andi86

Just caught up on all this. Hope your feeling good. Curious if you've told the father yet?


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## DaisyDreamer

Hope you are well :flasher:


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## rapunzel87

Just read your story now. Just wanted to drop in with some support! Glad to hear that you have been keeping well. Nurturing a lil one inside you is so beautiful & exciting! You made a mature & admirable decision, wishing you a healthy remainder of pregnancy! Also, hopefully the father of the baby reacts well to the news :) Let us know what happens!


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## nadia511

Hi!
Thank you all, I'm still feeling pretty good on the whole!
I had my scan, it was amazing, so surreal. The baby is healthy and doing well.

As for the father, it's a difficult one. I've told him, he knows it all and to be honest, I think it went pretty well considering. The only thing is, we haven't told his girlfriend yet. I'm still really small, so none of my friends have really noticed much of a change with me and don't know about my pregnancy. We are making plans to tell her, we just don't know what to do or say.

Thanks again for all of the support.


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## DaisyDreamer

Great update glad scan was good


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## Kiwiberry

I'm so happy to hear everything went well at your first scan! I'm also glad to hear that you told the father and that he seems to be taking it pretty well. I have no advice about the girlfriend issue but I bet you both are really excited.


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## skyesmom

Glad all is going well! and congrats on how maturely you acted on this, with telling your parents, getting a proper healthcare and telling the father! kudos for this!

As for the girlfriend issue, the less you wait the better. like this she is staying with him and bonding to him more and more, and the more you wait the harder it will be on everybody. plus, if they're having sex too then you know, there's a chance that they also end up like you and him. NOT a good scenario, right?

don't expect not to hurt her nor expect her to be understanding or to stay your friend and his girlfriend after all. anyone would be hurt and pissed in her situation. 

if I were you i would face her in person, if possible both of you together. at some neutral place where she or you both can leave anytime. if you can't do it like that, then i would write a letter together with the FOB and give it to her. texts, phone calls, whatsapp and especially RUMORS... are the worst and defo a no go. don't forget to apologize and don't try to make excuses and justify your act. 

good luck with that. it is one of those uncomfortable "ugly" things you need to go through in this journey... but the sooner you get it over with, the better. when your baby comes it will all become much less relevant and much less of a torture than it is now. with this, i don't mean to say that sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend and getting pregnant was a smart thing to do, but as you said yourself, you live and you learn, also from not such smart moves and mistakes, right?


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## DaisyDreamer

skyesmom said:


> As for the girlfriend issue, the less you wait the better. like this she is staying with him and bonding to him more and more, and the more you wait the harder it will be on everybody. plus, if they're having sex too then you know, there's a chance that they also end up like you and him. NOT a good scenario, right?
> 
> don't expect not to hurt her nor expect her to be understanding or to stay your friend and his girlfriend after all. anyone would be hurt and pissed in her situation.
> 
> if I were you i would face her in person, if possible both of you together. at some neutral place where she or you both can leave anytime. if you can't do it like that, then i would write a letter together with the FOB and give it to her. texts, phone calls, whatsapp and especially RUMORS... are the worst and defo a no go. don't forget to apologize and don't try to make excuses and justify your act.
> 
> good luck with that. it is one of those uncomfortable "ugly" things you need to go through in this journey... but the sooner you get it over with, the better. when your baby comes it will all become much less relevant and much less of a torture than it is now. with this, i don't mean to say that sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend and getting pregnant was a smart thing to do, but as you said yourself, you live and you learn, also from not such smart moves and mistakes, right?

WSS, skyesmom always gives great advice, she's a cool lady!

I agree, don't forget to apologize and don't fall into defending yourself. She may get angry and lash out at you and you will most likely want to fight back, but just understand she is feeling a lot of emotions and doesn't know how to deal with it. Keep telling her you are sorry, we are all here now and you hope the two of you can move forward :hugs2:


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## nadia511

All of these messages have definitely helped and I appreciate the time you're taking to help me. Thank you.


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## Kiwiberry

nadia511 said:


> All of these messages have definitely helped and I appreciate the time you're taking to help me. Thank you.

How far along are you now hun?


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## nadia511

I'm in my third month :)


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## Kiwiberry

That's amazing! How are you feeling mama? I would imagine that pretty soon you're going to have your first ultrasound and get to see your little peanut wiggling all over the place. It really is a magical experience that you will never forget.


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## nadia511

I'm still doing really good to be honest! I think I'm quite lucky as far as pregnancy symptoms go. And I've actually had my first scan! It was amazing. I can't wait for my next one.


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## DaisyDreamer

Sorry if I missed it but did you end up talking to your friend?

Any pics of the scan? Glad you are feeling so well. How far along are you now?


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## nadia511

I'm around about 15 weeks now, so entering the second trimester; scary. 

I do have scan pictures, but I'm currently in the city visiting family to tell them about my situation and they were the one thing I was supposed to remember. Oops, haha. When I get home, I'll try and get something posted for you all.

So, yeah, I've told my dad's side of the family. They were all very shocked, obviously, but all very supportive and interested. I'm going to be catching up with some really old friends whilst I'm here, God only knows what they're going to think. Then, I'll be tackling my moms side of the family in a couple weeks. 

As for people at home, nobody knows. Finishing school for summer means I've barely seen anyone at all now, and my bump is still quite small and easily covered so luckily nothing has been spotted. I know they're all going to find out eventually, but they're at the bottom of my priorities and I'd rather the father's girlfriend found out from us than some random. Yes, that means she still does not know. I know it's getting late, but he and I have not been able to prepare in the right way.

Mine and the father's relationship I can't even put a label on. We've barely spoken. I think to myself "Why would we?" even though this is a serious situation, and the baby is obviously the reason why we would talk. I just don't know what kind of relationship we're supposed to have. I feel like even adults would struggle in this scenario to.

In a couple weeks, I'll be going home for a scan testing for genetic problems and all of that, which I'm kind of nervous about. But once it's over and hopefully everything is okay with the baby, it will be a reassurance.

Wow, this is long. I hope I haven't rambled too much.


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## Midnight_Fairy

Dont feel like you have to tell people yet. I haven't xx


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## nadia511

I feel like the sooner I get it out to my family the better, I don't want to hurt their feelings any more by keeping it for so long. And as for the particular friend, I'm going to start calling her S, I think she's pretty much got every right to know.


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## Andi86

Your friend should know what happened. She is probably going to be really angry as it is but both of you keeping it from her will only make it worse. Especially if she is still with the father of your baby. He shouldn't be leading her on like that. She has a right to know he cheated on her and the longer she's with him she may have stronger feelings for him and the more hurt she will be by it when she finds out. I suggest you guys tell her before she finds out through someone else.


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## nadia511

I know what I should do, and what the right thing to do is. I want to tell her, I want to get it out I really do, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I have no idea what to even say. I don't want to mess it up and cause more unessecary harm. Although, I guess that's what leaving it even longer is doing. I'm just so conflicted.


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## DaisyDreamer

Well the longer you leave it the worse it will seem for you friend Im sure you know that. Public place is always a good choice, also with her bf present might be good but it might also be a good idea to tell her one-on-one, but in a public place.

Yes even people in their 20's and 30's would have a really difficult time with this position but it is what it is, right? Not a whole lot you can do about it unfortunately, it's just an ugly thing and everyone goes through them. Very weird relationship, but have you discussed any involvement or are you planning on adopting out?

Glad you are going home to tell your family, I'm glad they have not booted you and seem interested! You are so strong, can't believe you're in 2nd tri already


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## nadia511

He and I haven't really discussed anything involving what happened or what's happening. Like I said, we've barely even spoken. But adoption is still on my mind, I've not totally dismissed either that option or the option of raising the baby. 

I'm really lucky with how everything is going with my family so far. It's a lot less problems to handle.

I cannot believe it either! It feels like it's going scarily fast.


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## DaisyDreamer

I bet it's all so confusing. You will know in your heart which route is the best way to take.


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## Kiwiberry

Hopefully you figure it out soon sweetie :hugs:. It's so hard being in a situation like this. Try and take it easy though and don't stress yourself out too much. It's not good for you or the baby.


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## skyesmom

you sound like a real strong level-headed girl and congrats on telling your family and getting their support. Also, considering the whole situation, it sounds like you are dealing with it all pretty well - i think once you sail through the storm of telling your friend, you will gain more clarity on what to do with your baby - as the discomfort of breaking the news will be over and also the relationship to the baby's father will change after that.
I'm also not a big fan of him still being with your friend - it is making the whole situation a lot more complicated. Although you never know what can happen there - she may dump him too before you get to speak to her - but in any case i would let her know as there's no way about going around on when your baby was made. 

And kudos for not telling anybody else in your common circle of friends - although there is no way from saving your friend from being hurt, at least you're not adding this part of pain to her.


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## heatherr

Hi nadia, I've seen your thread here for a bit but just took the time to read through it today. It really brought back a lot of feelings from when I was pregnant myself. I wasn't in the exact same situation as you, but I was 17 and had lied and done things I shouldn't have. It only makes the situation that much more difficult to deal with, but you seem to be doing such a good job handling everything so far. You should really feel proud of yourself for how well you're dealing with it. 

I also struggled with what to do as far as parenting, adoption, etc. The best advice I can give is to take as long as you need to make the decision that you feel is the best one for you and your baby. I felt like I needed to make a decision as quickly as possible and stressed myself out even more because I kept changing my mind over and over again - but that's perfectly okay to do because it is such a major, life changing decision. 

If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me.


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## nadia511

First of all, thanks for all of your inputs and advice, it really does help.

Now for an update.

The father of the baby has broke it off with my friend. But she still doesn't know about what we did, and that I'm pregnant. And of course being her friend, I'm also one of her shoulders to cry on, and it makes me feel sick to my stomach..I know I need to tell her, but especially now I don't know what to do at all. I haven't actually seen any of my friends face to face since looking even remotely pregnant, so none of them other than the one I originally told knows. I guess that's another chore I need to add, but of course, the one friend in particular is the priority.

As for the father and I, we still haven't properly talked about anything really, just a little about him ending things with her, nothing baby related. 

Pregnancy is still kind of a breeze for me, I feel great. All of my family, although disappointed, are being as supportive as they can be, and offering their own advice. I still haven't told anyone in my family who the father is. I know that's immature, but I have a lingering fear that if they realise what I did, they'll no longer be supportive and will be disgusted by my actions.

As I'm sure you assume, I am still no wiser on what I actually want to do with the baby. But I've still got plenty of time, and as you said, with such a major decision and each action having a different consequence means I'm constantly going to be battling with them.

My genetic testing scan was fine, well better than fine, everything came back normal which is a huge relief. My DAUGHTER is looking healthy..:) Yes, she's a girl!! So although things aren't the best around me, I have the happiness of knowing my little girl is okay.


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## Laylagirl

I just read your thread... Yay! On your healthy baby girl! That is so exciting..... 
I don't have any advice on anything as you've received lots of great words, but I will offer this.... I don't know what kind of person your friend is, but I would be leery about telling the news about the baby's father on a face to face basis.... In case she reacts angrily and gets physical... I don't know if you owe her that per say.... Her boyfriend obviously didn't want to have to face up to it so he broke it off... But just be careful if you do decide to disclose that information... I hope I'm not sounding negative.. Just cautious...


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## Andi86

I understand being in that situation with your friend is hard but honestly not telling her and lying to her isn't going to make it any better. Especially now that she is coming to you for comfort after her boyfriend broke it off with her. She was going to be mad and hurt as it was. Knowing that you hid the pregnancy for this long and acted like her friend during that time, she is going to hurt even more and feel beyond betrayed. I don't mean to be rude and am not trying to put you down...I just think you hiding it from her and your family are for very selfish and immature reasons. All this lying is just making things worse and I have a feeling you will regret it. Also you won't be able to hide it much longer. People are going to notice and school is going to start up again before you know it. Why not get this all out and have a few weeks for things to calm down before school starts and the rumours? Also her ex boyfriend/father of your child sounds like a coward. He doesn't want to tell your friend, so breaking it off with her and not telling her he cheated is his way out. Now it's not his responsiblity and whats it to him of she finds out since they aren't together anymore. He also doesn't sound very supportive to you or this child. By what you have said here about him, I highly doubt he is going to be involved in the babies life....something you should consider when deciding if you're going to keep her or not. Again I'm not trying to be harsh it's just the way I see it . I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this.


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## Andi86

Sorry just feel like i should add to that....
Just put yourself in your friends shoes....would you want to be continuely lied to like this by one of your friends about something that big? I think if you were a true friend to her you should tell her now. She probably won't want to be friends anymore but honestly its better that she knows and once that big thing is off your chest you can focus on that baby and you. It's better she hears it from you then it getting out another way. And like the other poster before me says... don't do it in person. I think a letter or email will be better and tell her to read it alone. That way you get everything you need out and she won't just hear the bad things your saying. She will have time to take it in and calm down. If she wants to talk in person after then that's fine but if it comes to that then I would just listen to her and answer the questions she has honestly.


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## nadia511

Honestly..I agree. I know I'm being selfish and immature, I think I may have even already said it myself. It's just so hard actually doing what you know is right compared to thinking how you can do what's right. 

It's kinda complicated with the father. He already wasn't feeling the same anymore, hence why he was okay sleeping with me. I think now he just knows he's f*cked up and is trying to deal with it. But I don't know, it's not like feelings are flowing.

Is telling her something like this over a text or something appropriate? I mean, in person the worst she would probably do is slap me, but I don't even think she would. I think she'd probably cry and get as far away from me as she could. And then tell everyone...
How about a phone call? Is that better?

And you know, it's my fault I'm in this mess.. I know that.


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## skyesmom

I would avoid the texts as they are very very impersonal, and emails for that matter as well. I would tell her asap, a phone call or a letter, either one could do. If you decide for a phone call, make sure she is in an environment where she can react freely - meaning NOT while she's out doing grocery shopping with her mom, etc.

Do it asap - it is gonna be shitty, proper shitty, but it is just one moment, while so far you've lived with so much procrastinated crap and trust me, its weight is way bigger than that moment of honesty with your friend. 

I also don't think anything can actually develop between you and the FOB until that thing is clear with your friend - it is hindering so many things from developing, including your own decisions about the baby.

Your friend's situation in this moment isn't very enviable and sure it hurts to be lied so much to that point BUT - in a couple of year's time, in her life experience, this shall be a story of a bad friend and a bad ex cheating on her, lying to her and getting pregnant as a "reward". She'll keep on being a teen and living a teen life. And new people will come into her life and they will be more important than both you and her ex are to her now. Way more important. Like ie. the man she will have kids with, and her own family and baby.
You guys are in for way more of a life changing experience, regardless of what you decide to do with the baby, and here i refer to both of you. There will be no other first child for both of you, this is your first child, this is that life-changing moment when you become a parent from a non-parent for the first time. The main impact of all this is on you two, in the long haul.

I'm not anyhow justifying your decisions regarding dealing with your friend, nor the fact that your parents still don't know who the FOB is, i'm just putting it into perspective. I know it feels like the end of the world right now, but it isn't.


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## Andi86

I wouldn't do it by text. I agree if you were to put it in some form of writing a written letter would be most personal. In person is good if you think you can do it. I would just worry you wouldn't get all what you want to say out depending on your friends reaction. Regardless how you tell her she's not going to be happy. She may cry, yell, call you names, slap you, or walk away. It's hard to know how she will react to this. All I can say is although you will feel terrible I think once it's out a big weight will be lifted from your shoulders. And I agree with above. She will eventually get over it. She may never want to be your friend but she will move on from this later in life.


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## nadia511

I'll be honest..that really hit hard. For the best though, I think. I never thought about how other than the feeling of betrayal and being massively upset for a little while is all she's going to walk away with from this. But he and I, no matter what I decide, have a child together. And that child will always be there in the world, whether we know her or not, she's our daughter. And it upsets me that we can barely even talk about it. That we're focusing solely on my friend, and what happens with her rather than what happens with us and our baby. If anything is going to happen with us.


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## Andi86

Yes exactly. Once your friend knows it will free you so you can use this time before baby to really focus on your life/future and your childs. If the dad wants to be included then that's great but don't rely on him. Give him tge opportunity but needs to step up himself.


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## nadia511

Yeah, I know that when the main focus is the baby, things will probably change. I'm just not sure how things will change, and what aspects will change. I mean, with this baby, it's literally a part of me. I didn't want this baby, obviously, but when I saw everything it just made me realise what is growing inside of me. But as for him, he has nothing like that. There aren't even any feelings involved. So I understand why for him, this is kind of nothing and he has no reason to be invested in it. All it is for him is a problem. 

Anyway, I know I need to talk to him. For now, about telling my friend the truth. Do you think having this discussion over text is appropriate?


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## jessmke

I do not think having this discussion over a text is appropriate. I think you should write her a letter, then tell her in person what has happened and give her the letter. When you tell her in person she likely will not give you the opportunity to say all the things you want to say, so giving her the letter will do that for you. But I really do think you should tell her in person. If you really can't bring yourself to do that then email would be the next best option, pretty much anything except a text. Text is so impersonal and I think would make her even more mad at you.

Good luck! Telling her will be horrible, but you will probably feel quite a lot of relief that this is no longer hanging over your head. I imagine that the difficulty with all this isn't just telling your friend, but also knowing that once you tell her your secret will be out because she will tell other people. It has to come out sometime, you can't hide a pregnancy forever unless you plan to be home schooled in the fall, so t's time to just rip off the bandaid and get it all over with. At least if people find out now they will be used to the idea when you return to school with a baby bump. It would be far more shocking for everyone to find out by you showing up at school visibly pregnant when no one had any idea.


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## nadia511

This is my fault, I should of made it clearer. I meant texting the father about needing to talk about telling her. 

However, thanks for everything you said anyway. I think a letter maybe is the best option. I'll just go see her, tell her everything is in the letter and if/when she feels like talking she can call me or whatever. But I guess what I do and say depends on how the father wants to go about it with her. I guess he can get away with not saying a single thing to her about it.

And for people finding out at school I guess you're right. But I'm sure when my friend finds out she will spread the word wherever she can. I guess I have both the stigma that's attached to cheating as well as that attached to teenage pregnancy. It's probably going to get tough.

Just something here that I missed in my update. I'm currently 18 weeks so I should be starting to feel things soon right? I can't believe I'm almost half way there.


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## skyesmom

nadia511 said:


> I'll be honest..that really hit hard. For the best though, I think. I never thought about how other than the feeling of betrayal and being massively upset for a little while is all she's going to walk away with from this. But he and I, no matter what I decide, have a child together. And that child will always be there in the world, whether we know her or not, she's our daughter. And it upsets me that we can barely even talk about it. That we're focusing solely on my friend, and what happens with her rather than what happens with us and our baby. If anything is going to happen with us.

:hugs: this is exactly why i wrote what i wrote - not to hit you hard or hurt you, but to put your situation in a different perspective as your fear of telling your friend is paralyzing you and the FOB from focusing on your baby and your relationship. and your baby will become the priority for you both once you get this breaking the news to your friend out of the way.

I think it is OK to text him and tell him that you two need to talk regarding telling your friend. He can't get away with not telling her, nor I think this was really his reason for leaving her. I think he did leave her because you are having his baby and he can't cope with lying and playing a double game. He would need to be a complete sociopath monster not to have ANY remorse, guilt and unease regarding your situation and all three of you. It is easy to judge him for taking this long to leave her, and also easy to judge him for not telling her and feeling it is easier to break up with her and then tell her the truth rather than other way around - but in the end, he is also just a scared teen not knowing what to do and probably having even less psychological support in this than you. He probably didn't tell anybody about you being pregnant and is facing this whole thing all alone inside his head - not an enviable situation - and this will also stay this way until you/you two are done telling her.

Talk to him and see what he says - maybe you could write that letter together and you could hand it out to her in person.


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## nadia511

Well, we kinda texted about it. And he's just been awfully blunt. Or at least that's what I think, I can't tell whether I'm just being over-sensitive. But the reality is, although what he did to start all this would make you think otherwise, in general he's actually a decent person. I think he's just struggling to comprehend what is actually going on. He know's what's going to happen to him when people find out, I know that even his closest friends are going to struggle to accept what he did.I think it's easier for him to pretend this isn't happening. And honestly, I wish I didn't have a constant reminder. 

I have no idea where my head is at anymore. I'm struggling to decide what the right thing to do is. It just makes me sick knowing that this baby, my own baby, is the result of such a mess. And that's never going to change.

I sound super negative right now. And I'm honestly hoping it's just a mood that will shift. I'm feeling so off right now..


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## Andi86

nadia511 said:


> Well, we kinda texted about it. And he's just been awfully blunt. Or at least that's what I think, I can't tell whether I'm just being over-sensitive. But the reality is, although what he did to start all this would make you think otherwise, in general he's actually a decent person. I think he's just struggling to comprehend what is actually going on. He know's what's going to happen to him when people find out, I know that even his closest friends are going to struggle to accept what he did.I think it's easier for him to pretend this isn't happening. And honestly, I wish I didn't have a constant reminder.
> 
> I have no idea where my head is at anymore. I'm struggling to decide what the right thing to do is. It just makes me sick knowing that this baby, my own baby, is the result of such a mess. And that's never going to change.
> 
> I sound super negative right now. And I'm honestly hoping it's just a mood that will shift. I'm feeling so off right now..

A lot of men don't really get a connection with the baby until after the baby is born. The woman gets to see her body change and feel her baby (which by the way to answer your question yes you should start feeling her soon. I believe I was just over 20 weeks when I felt my first) So I could only imagine an unexpected pregnancy for a teen boy would be extra difficult to fully understand or feel connected to the baby. He probably is avoiding it because it doesn't feel real to him yet. Also he is young and immature and not ready to deal with being a daddy yet. It probably hasn't hit him yet. Men typically feel like they have to be strong and tough and so him being silent and not talking about it is pretty normal. I hope once the baby is here he steps up if you decide to keep her. I'd hate for you to go through this alone and he baby to not have a father in her life. All you can do is take control of your life and not wait around for him, make the best decisions you can for you and your baby with or without him. Let him know what your doing and give him the opportunity to be part of everything, appointments, ultrasounds( although you probably already had all of them?), the birth. Ask him if he wants to be there and hopefully he will start coming to terms with all this. 

Also don't be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes in our lives. I know it feels like the end of the world but it's really not. Don't get me wrong it will be harder then most go through at your age but you will survive this. I know at your age it's easy to worry about what others think but in all honesty it won't matter in the end. A year or two from now everyone will continue with their lives and go to college and not even care about what your doing. Your true friends will stick around but if you keep the baby you will have different lives from them. They will be thinking of college and boys and you will be changing diapers, teaching your child to walk and talk and everything else that comes with parenting.


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## skyesmom

Andi86 said:


> Also don't be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes in our lives. I know it feels like the end of the world but it's really not. Don't get me wrong it will be harder then most go through at your age but you will survive this. I know at your age it's easy to worry about what others think but in all honesty it won't matter in the end. A year or two from now everyone will continue with their lives and go to college and not even care about what your doing. Your true friends will stick around but if you keep the baby you will have different lives from them. They will be thinking of college and boys and you will be changing diapers, teaching your child to walk and talk and everything else that comes with parenting.


This! And trust me, once your daughter is born, regardless of what you decide to ultimately do regarding keeping vs adopting, the way she was made will be completely irrelevant. Once you get to look into her eyes, that detail will be the last thing you'll think about. 

Also, as Andi said, everybody makes mistakes and if none of your or his friends is ready to understand that and forgive you, well... the life will also bring new people and new friends into your life, too. Pregnancies and babies change the friendships at ANY age, as regardless if you're 16 or 36, the people with babies and people with no babies have different interests and lives. Get that breaking the news job done and let the life unfold, you really never ever know what may happen and how the life and the people around you may surprise you. The one of your friends that knows has been there for you up to now, so that's already one person that you got.


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## jessmke

nadia511 said:


> Well, we kinda texted about it. And he's just been awfully blunt. Or at least that's what I think, I can't tell whether I'm just being over-sensitive. But the reality is, although what he did to start all this would make you think otherwise, in general he's actually a decent person. I think he's just struggling to comprehend what is actually going on. He know's what's going to happen to him when people find out, I know that even his closest friends are going to struggle to accept what he did.I think it's easier for him to pretend this isn't happening. And honestly, I wish I didn't have a constant reminder.
> 
> I have no idea where my head is at anymore. I'm struggling to decide what the right thing to do is. It just makes me sick knowing that this baby, my own baby, is the result of such a mess. And that's never going to change.
> 
> I sound super negative right now. And I'm honestly hoping it's just a mood that will shift. I'm feeling so off right now..

Once she is born you won't care how she was made or the mess that was caused. If you decide to keep her then she will enrich your life in ways you didn't even know we're possible, and if you decide to give her up for adoption you will be giving another couple the greatest gift they could ever receive.


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## Kiwiberry

I agree completely with all of the previous posters, it is such a blessing and it really is true every word of it. None of what you are feeling right now will matter after your baby is born especially if you decide to keep her. She will become everything to you.


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## nadia511

Thank you for all the supportive things you've said to me in a moment of weakness. I was having a really tough couple of days. I'm kind of still in a similar mindset as for now I have nothing to make me think otherwise. 

I wrote the letter. I went to see her today and gave it to her but left before she opened it. I assume she's read it by now. And she, or any of my friends, have not said a single word to me. The father knew what I was doing, and said that he'd handle her when it came to it. I still don't know if there's been any interaction between them.

I guess the secrets now out. I'm just waiting for the first confrontation..


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## aidensxmomma

:hugs:

You've done an incredibly hard, but incredibly mature, thing by telling your friend. Just keep hanging in there. The other ladies here have given some great advice. Just keep focusing on you and the baby. Try not to worry much about what people think/say. I know that's really hard to do, but honestly, no matter what you do, people are going to say shit. Whether you're 16 or 26 or 46, there will always be someone who has to share their opinion about your life. 

And don't beat yourself up about mistakes you've made or feelings your having or anything. Absolutely everyone makes mistakes, whether they admit to them or not or even have to deal with any consequences. It happens to everyone. Making mistakes is how you learn and grow as a person. Everyone also has bad days. It's especially hard when you're young and pregnant. But you have been doing an incredible job so don't forget to give yourself credit for that. :hugs:


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## LittleLala

:hugs: big hugs, Hun. I hope everything is okay. Thinking of you.


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## Andi86

Good for you telling her. If no one has said anything yet that's a good sign. Hopefully your first talk with her will go ok as it can.


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## ClairAye

:hugs: Well done for telling her! I hope everything goes as well as it can between you both now.


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## Kiwiberry

Good job Mama for laying it all on the line and telling your friend. Keep up the great work you are a strong woman you can do this.


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## skyesmom

Kudos to you for telling her! You did such a brave, difficult and mature thing. Take a deep breath and give yourself a pat on the shoulder for how you are dealing with the situation. I second everything aidensxmomma said about making mistakes and learning from them, and you are really doing a great job. It takes lots of guts for that.

It is also good to hear that the FOB said he will be there to help dealing with your friend too. 

:hugs:


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## Andi86

Any update on how things went with your friend?


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## Moom7900

Well done for telling your friend - not an easy task but a very mature one.
I agree that once your baby is born, her conception will mean nothing. She will just be her, as she deserves to be, and in the future this ordeal will mean much less than it seems to now. People move on to the next bit of gossip very quickly, and everybody makes mistakes at some point.
Good luck and keep us all updated xxxxxx :hugs:


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## mara16jade

Hope you're doing ok. What grade are you in?

I'm sure your friend will be upset, so be ready for it. But hopefully everybody can move on from this. :hugs:


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## nadia511

It's a hard situation for all of my other friends now, they're conflicted. On one hand I completely betrayed our friend by doing one of the worst things I possibly could, but on the other hand I'm their friend stuck in this position. They've kind of asked me how I'm doing a little bit not much. I'm sure the friend I hurt has given orders not to talk to me, but I don't know. It's not like I expect things to be fine. I know what I've done and I'm guilty. 

A few of the FOB's friends have talked to me a little, but more asking what happened. It seems like he's not said much to them, so they're trying to find out what is actually going on. He's not talked to me that much either. I assume my friend has confronted him in some way by now.

I've still to tell my parents who the father is. It's like I've finally moved forwards and Todd my friend but now I'm facing another wall.

I'll be entering 11th Grade in September.


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## Andi86

Everything will die down with time. Trust that your true friends will stick around. You had told one friend before is she still around supporting you? It's hard to explain this to you cause you're young and right now friends are the most important thing in the world but everyone goes through losing friends. Believe me, friends come and go throughout life sometimes during fights sometimes you just grow apart. It can be painful and confusing but true friends will always be there even if a long time has passed since you spoke to each other. Even if this girl is barking orders to the others not to speak to you its up to them to make that decision. Once your babies here she will be the most important person above anyone else. It might be difficult for a while but you will get through this.


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## Amygdala

Andi is right, this will all blow over and seem way less important in a few months, definitely in a few years. I'd like to raise another point though: I think it's time for you to let go off your guilt. Yes, sleeping with your friend's boyfriend was a betrayal of your friendship but I think it's time you forgave yourself. For one thing, HE should have stopped it, as he was the one in a relationship. But whatever the situation, you have bigger things to face now and feeling guilty and like a bad person won't help you cope. Trust me, everyone does something bad at some point. You know you did wrong and you regret it and I'm pretty certain you wouldn't do something like this again. So forgive yourself and allow yourself to move on. It happened, it can't be changed but it does not define you. You have way bigger things to figure out now! And do not for one second think the way your baby was conceived makes you any less deserving of happiness! If you want to keep her and enjoy being her parent, you absolutely do deserve that. If you want to opt for adoption, you deserve happiness in your youth. You especially deserve happiness in a relationship one day. Do not settle for someone who is less than perfect for you because you think you're worth less because of this one stupid mistake. You're young and you will grow from this and you deserve good things for yourself and for your baby!
I know this sounds silly but I think it'd be a really good idea to start telling yourself that. Literally. Every morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself "I deserve happiness". It'll feel weird at first but it'll help, trust me.


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## Andi86

Totally agree with everything Amygdala said. Mistakes happen. It's how you move on from it that really matters. Sounds like you've already learnt from it, you've apologized to your friend, now you just need to forgive yourself and work on being happy with your life. Let go of the regret. Telling your parents who the dad is the next step. The sooner you stop hiding things from people the sooner you will forgive yourself. I can tell you don't want to tell them because you still feel ashamed by it. Yes they will be disappointed but they to will get over it. Remember how hard it was to tell then you were pregnant? Seems easier to talk to them about it now right? It will only continue to get better with time and once the baby is here. Once everything is laid put there you can start with a clean slate and then forgiving yourself will be easier. You deserve to be happy and so does your child. Focus on that.


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## DaisyDreamer

In a few years time this drama will just be a blip. You are dealing with more important and greater things than hurt egos and school-girl drama. Not meant to be any sort of criticism on you at all. But you are in a more mature place than they are and they don't understand.

You seem to be handling it well, yeah I wouldn't expect things to be fine either. Such a hard position to be in. I'm thinking of you on this journey


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## EverythingXd

Hi hun, have read this thread and you sound so mature for your age. I just wondered what you have told your parents so far about the father of your child, if anything? 

It just strikes me that you are fearing they will be disappointed by the truth, but personally I think it could be a lot worse. I know you're not proud of what happened, but your parents may fear it was one of your teachers, a much older man, it could've been someone who has been in trouble with the law... the reality, although not ideal, is not really that shocking a situation. You betrayed a friend, but you clearly feel guilty for what you did. You and the father are still communicating with each other, I'm not sure your parents would see this as worst case scenario.


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## nadia511

Thanks everyone.

I know that the whole situation with my friend should be the least of my worries, and the last thing in my mind but its not, as much as I wish it was. The main thing holding me back is the guilt. I find it difficult to forgive myself. I know how sorry I am, and how much I regret everything I did that night, but I still somehow can't get it off my shoulders, even though the secret is now out. I am trying to work towards perceiving myself in a more positive light, and some days it's better than others but I still have my depressing days.

I also remember that I've not yet made a decision. Although I know this would be hard, adoption is still an option to me. And if I go through with that option, I'll be back to how my life used to be, only I've grown slightly. But because of everything, I'm not sure people will be able to easily move past it. Anyway, that's an if situation.

What I've told my parents about the father so far is that I made a stupid mistake with a guy from school. I told them that I initiated it, and I don't expect him to be any part of this. Which technically is all true. It's just the fact that I still did all of this whilst at the same time betraying my friend, which is what should of stopped me. I'm scared they'll be even more disappointed in me.


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## EverythingXd

nadia511 said:


> What I've told my parents about the father so far is that I made a stupid mistake with a guy from school. I told them that I initiated it, and I don't expect him to be any part of this. Which technically is all true. It's just the fact that I still did all of this whilst at the same time betraying my friend, which is what should of stopped me. I'm scared they'll be even more disappointed in me.

Oh good, you have told them a fair bit then. 

Hun, you really need to give yourself a break! Yes it's not great that you went with your friend's boyfriend but when there's alcohol involved, a lot of people make a lot of bad choices! I remember reading agony aunt columns and laughing at how many of the stories included "we had too much wine, one thing led to another..." You have just succumbed to this sort of temptation at a very young age, and with big consequences. You didn't do anything with malice and you are clearly regretful. Please try to move on from this guilt.


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## xforuiholdonx

Do not let the guilt of how this happened over shadow the joy in this. This little baby will be born into this world sooner rather then later, and youll look at her and thank god for giving her to you. She will be so little.. so precious and will look at you in such wonder. Ignore what people will say, and focus on this tiny life. Regardless of what you decide to do(adoption vs keeping), she will change your ENTIRE world. 
I gave birth to our daughter the day before my 18th birthday, and she rocked our world. Id already graduated highschool at that point, but still. The long nights and what changes in our life was so beyond worth it for her. She started first grade today. Time passes so quickly one they are here!


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## Andi86

nadia511 said:


> also remember that I've not yet made a decision. Although I know this would be hard, adoption is still an option to me. And if I go through with that option, I'll be back to how my life used to be, only I've grown slightly.

Adoption is a great idea if that's what you're wanting to do. But if you're considering this it's something you should start looking into. As you may want to meet with some agencies and pick the right parents for your child. Also talk about whether you want open or closed adoption, ect. if you're truly considering this you need to know it's the right choice first cause before you know it Jan will he here and that's not something you want to decide last min. 

I also want to point out something regarding your view on adoption...it's not going to be easy and way harder then you can imagine. Your life whether you keep the baby or not, is changed forever. It will not be the same. It will never go back to the way it was. She will forever be on your mind for the rest of your life. You will always wonder what she's doing, what she looks like, if she's ok, how tall she is, does she know about you, what does she think of you, will she want to meet you one day, how smart she is, how long her hair is, ect. Everytime you see another kid around her age you will wonder if she's doing the same things. Especially if it's a closed adoption . But don't be mistaken by open adoptions either...you may get updates but won't always be there and have no say in her life as that's her parents right. Your daughters birthday and holidays will be very difficult.

You will understand all this when you have her. That connection you have with your child is like no other. She is in your heart forever and the day you have her you will truly understand that. It's there immediately. It will be the hardest decision of your life and you can't change your mind once it's done. Hats off to anyone who can give a child up. Honestly I think it's the most unselfish thing you can do. I think it's a much harder thing to do then raise them yourself. No matter what you choose it will be hard. You will have good days and bad. Don't let anyone sway you one way or the other. I just think you really need to uderstand how it will truly effect your life. It's not the easy way out.


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## mara16jade

Pretty much this ^^^


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## Kiwiberry

I agree 100%, these ladies said it all.


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## nadia511

Oh believe me, I don't think in any way at all that adoption is an escape route. The whole thought of growing this little girl inside me for 9 months just to not see her grow and evolve into a woman. But as you said, adoption is the most selfless thing. I would be upset at the fact she's not here with me, and I don't know her, and she doesn't know me but when I think about the life she's been given by her parents it will make me feel better, and I won't hold any guilt upon myself for that. Well at least that's what I would have hoped, I'm sure th outcome would actually involve a lot more depression and probably regret.

Whilst considering adoption, I'm currently thinking that maybe closed would be the best. But I'm not sure, as I wasn't adopted, what I'd rather know. I know with open adoption she'd understand as she got older, but wouldn't the whole situation be confusing for a little girl? I also think that I'll feel like she's more my daughter than she is in an open adoption, and I'll be full of even more regret seeing who she grows into and knowing that I could be enjoying all of those days with her rather than once a year. I know I should start looking for adoptive parents and talking to agencies and such, but I'm still unsure whether adoption is what I want for her. It's all so difficult and confusing. I'm determining a humans future with this decision.

I don't know whether or not I should try talking to the father about this. I mean, will he care what happens in the end? Does he have the right to know what's happening? I'm sure he does, but I'm still unsure whether he deserves to have a say.


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## mara16jade

It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into adoption. Have you thought about what qualities you'd want for the adoptive parents? What do your parents think? 

It's amazing how much thought you're putting into all this. I hope you have all the support you want/need. :hugs:


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## Andi86

Yes I think the father has a right to know you're considering adoption. It is his child too. It might even make him step up more if that's not something he wants. Honestly it doesn't sound like you've included him much in the pregnancy as in inviting him to appointments or keeping him updated on things. He probably doesn't know what to do, how to involve himself. He's immature, you aren't together, you were keeping him a secret and still kinda are because of your friend. It's probably awkward for him (as well as you) so he's just stepping back. Not saying its your fault at all. You're both young and dont know how to deal with this situation. That's why we aren't meant to have babies this young. He hasn't been given a chance yet to really be around. You guys really need to have a good conversation about everything. Get it all out there what your thinking for options. What you want from him or don't want. Also what he wants and how evolved he's planning to be.

As for the adoption...it doesn't hurt to talk to agencies just to get some information. They may even have a program in place so you can talk to other ladies who have chose that route.
Might help to make the decision. Do your parents know you're considering this?


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## xforuiholdonx

If you go the adoption route, the father also needs to sign the paperwork and agree to it, so yes, you need to speak with him about your thoughts.


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## Amygdala

I'm not saying this to sway you either way, but you sound like you'd be an awesome mum.


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## Tropiclands

As has already been suggested, you do need to tell your parents. You also need to tell him, as this decision is going to impact his life also. I am assuming him and the person he is with are around your age also, so you unfortunately shouldn't be surprised if some bullying and attempts to absolve him of responsibility come your way. I'd also urge you to pray for direction through this situation.


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## nadia511

My parents have known all along that I've been considering adoption, and they don't have any issues whatsoever and are actually glad I'm thinking through both options rather than the initial obvious. When it comes to keeping her, they're supportive of it, but I think they're mainly worried about my life, and they don't want to see me be held back and go through all of these things too young. Despite that, they're still excited for the baby to come.

I have thought about the kind of parents I would like her to have. I'd probably look for people similar to myself. I want her to have a comfortable relationship with her parents, so I'd want them to be mature and responsible of course, but also laid back. As for parents, to me if they're the right people, either hetero or same sex, I'm not the kind of person to have issues with that. 

As for the father, I admit I haven't made much of an effort for him to be involved. But from what I have put effort into, I sense that this is more of a mutual preference. I think that if I decide to keep the baby, he'll be around, but not _around_ if you know what I mean. But all of that is assuming, I know that I need to talk to him to understand his actual feelings. But since, I'm not fully sure what I want to do yet, I don't want to mess him around too much.


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## Tropiclands

Well I'm glad that you responded, as I have some to add. No matter what they say, remember that this is not your responsibility to go through this alone just because the baby is growing inside you. If you want to talk more, please let me know or pm me. Thanks. :)


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## mara16jade

Maybe I forgot, but did you mention if you've talked to the father of the baby about what to do? Raise the baby or find an adoptive family? Does he have much of an opinion, or does he not care? Had he told his parents yet?

Hope you're doing ok. Half way point!


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## DaisyDreamer

:hugs2:


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## nadia511

I know it sounds ridiculous because I'm over halfway there but we still haven't properly spoken about what's going to happen. Either way no, I'm not sure he has much of an opinion, but I don't know. As far as I know his parents don't know.

But something happened between us..if you know what I mean. And it's really thrown me off.


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## Kiwiberry

What happened between you two? i'm sorry to sound like your mom or something sweetie but you really need to get on the move. You need to talk to the father of the baby about the options and to decide what to do. I know your young and you only think about the present (that's how all teens are) but you are going to have a baby and it's time you start thinking about the future and stop worrying about what other people think say or do. This baby is the most important thing in your life now.


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## LittleLala

What happened between you two?


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## nadia511

He and I were at my place to talk about things. But then we got onto _doing_ other things. So basically, we had sex. I think we both did it to distract ourselves from what we had to talk about.


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## EverythingXd

Well at least you won't get pregnant this time! :winkwink: Seriously though, does this mean there is a chance of you two having some kind of relationship? Are you interested in having a relationship with him? You do really need to talk to him about what he wants, with regards to the baby, and also with regards to you by the sounds of it.


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## DaisyDreamer

EverythingXd said:


> Well at least you won't get pregnant this time! :winkwink: Seriously though, does this mean there is a chance of you two having some kind of relationship? Are you interested in having a relationship with him? You do really need to talk to him about what he wants, with regards to the baby, and also with regards to you by the sounds of it.

wss ^:hugs::hugs:


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## nadia511

He and I in a relationship is not currently something I want. I don't hold any kind of feelings towards him in that sense. Despite what I have done, he's still my (ex) friend's ex. I know we need to talk, but I'm not sure we even know what we want for ourselves.


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## mara16jade

Yikes, I'm sure it's a difficult thing to sit down and talk to him about. :(

Have you talked to any agencies? Or thought more about keeping the baby? Thinking about you.


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## skyesmom

nadia511 said:


> Despite what I have done, he's still my (ex) friend's ex.

Just one tiny correction to this phrase: it is not something that YOU ALONE have done, it was HIS DECISION TOO. It was his as much as it was yours, none the less!! And the fact that it happened again, uhm... kinda confirms he's got a thing for you.

Also, ending up sleeping together again is not a bad way to "break the ice" and may get the things a bit more relaxed between you before you start talking, so i totally get how your first attempt to have a serious conversation ended up like that. (soooo many "grown ups" have that exact thing happen when having a first big serious post-break-up talk with their ex after being apart for a while, so whoever dares to judge a teen for doing sth like this, check your own agenda first :winkwink: )

anyway - the things are starting to move slowly after being frozen by not telling your friend what is going on - which is good. And i am sure your situation will evolve over the upcoming weeks. It sounds like it took him some time to fully take in what has happened and he is starting to deal with the consequences. I am also sure he will come to telling his parents soon. he's just a teenage boy, and a situation like this would be equally if not more uncomfortable to a 30-year-old man (just imagine a full grown man having unprotected sex with his gf's friend and getting her pregnant - and well then needing to let his gf know, let his family know, let the whole world around him know, knowing he'd be judged A LOT and dealing with a possibility of an upcoming fatherhood, family and possibly a new relationship too... no wonder it is taking your FOB some time to sort out his own thoughts).

The fact that you're half way through doesn't mean you already need to have your mind fully made up on things, ESPECIALLY on adoption - it is SUCH a hard decision to make at any age, and it can completely change at the moment of birth. So feeling bad for not knowing already with crystal clarity what you want to do with your baby, yourself and your life at around 22 weeks is well... totally unnecessary. 
It is not like you or him are completely ignoring the thing and pretending nothing is happening. you are dealing with it at your own pace. and you're both trying your current best.

What made it even harder to make up your mind about things and know what he thinks of the whole situation is the fact that there was hardly any contact or communication between you until now (and not telling your friend delayed the whole thing). 
So maybe spending some time together and generally talking more could be a good way to start getting to know each other better and gradually seeing how the things could work and what could work and what not. 

I honestly think that with an issue this complex, an answer can't be found within one only "ok, let's sit down and talk and find all the answers to all the questions" kinda thing.

He sure needs to let his parents know, but i somehow have a feeling that he will and that he is now on his way to dealing with everything better. 
And equally, you should let your family know who the father is. I think your parents won't judge you, not now when the things are already so far along. The initial shock is long gone for them and if they're excited about a new baby coming to the family, i really don't think this is gonna change the way they feel about their grand child. (and probably, they are thinking about way worse options than your friend's ex... like a high school teacher, a drug addict, a rapist, a grown married man, who knows what. they'd probably be relieved if they knew.)


:hugs: take care of yourself, you are on a good way here.


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## Kiwiberry

I disagree ^. No matter how you spin it you can't compare a 30 year old man to a teenage boy. 

Sweetie it does sound like he does have a thing for you. The only way you two can keep moving forward is if you start getting serious and talk about it. No one implied it would only take one conversation. This is a big deal and will require a lot of communication. You are getting further along by the day and you don't want to wait till the last minute.

Take it easy on yourself hun, he has just as much a part in this a you do. As they say it takes two to tango.


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## skyesmom

Kiwiberry said:


> I disagree ^. No matter how you spin it you can't compare a 30 year old man to a teenage boy.

it wasn't meant as a comparison between her FOB and a grown up, it was meant as "dealing with this kind of situation and breaking this kind of news would be a rough job at any age" - since FOB still needs to let his own parents know - i don't think he's a bad or irresponsible person by default, just that the situation is hard and that it's taking him time to deal with everything, but that he is doing it, step by step.


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## nadia511

No, I haven't yet spoken to any adoption agencies but it's something I'm looking to do soon.

Even if he does have a thing for me, I don't think I have one for him. Not exactly anyway. I don't know. It's complicated. I also don't want anything happening between he and I to affect what happens with the baby, and all the rest of that. It also feels kind of forced, like its something we have to do.

I know that we need for properly communicate and stay on track, but after the first failed attempt I haven't tried again yet. Maybe tomorrow. I'll see. But like I said, I don't think either of us know what we want or what we think is best to tell each other.

Thank you for all of your help and advice.


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## DaisyDreamer

Are you set on adopting out or just exploring?


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## Kiwiberry

Good luck on your pregnancy. I won't be following anymore.


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## nadia511

I'm not set on adoption, but I would like to see deeper into it to get a better understanding and hopefully help with making the right decision in the end.


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## DaisyDreamer

Well I hope you and FOB get to actually get to talking and making some decisions.

How far along now?


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## mara16jade

I think an easy way to ease into a conversation with him is start talking to him about your latest checkup. And somewhere in there you can ask him how he's feeling about being a dad. I'm guessing his response will be all over the place and nothing concrete. That might be a good time to voice your concerns about parenthood, and talk about your different options. There's no need to put so much pressure on a formal sit down to talk about the future of your baby. Ease into it. You're both nervous (and rightfully so!). You might be surprised he's on the same page as you....or just as confused. And together you can explore your options. :hugs:


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## nadia511

I'm at 22 weeks now.

We've not properly spoken yet, but I know we'll get round to it soon. We both know it's important.


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## Tropiclands

Well I'm staying around to do what I can. :).On that note, I'm sorry that I wasn't around the past few days. I'm going to go against what is being said and more or less suggest that you not acknowledge that you and the ex recently had sex. You are carrying his baby, and that needs to be the focus. Maybe telling him there will be no sex until you two talk could also get things opening up.


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## nadia511

Having sex isn't exactly something I want to be a regular occurrence. It wasn't planned you know, it just happened in an attempt to talk. So I don't know, I don't know how the conversation will be successful.


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## Andi86

nadia511 said:


> Having sex isn't exactly something I want to be a regular occurrence. It wasn't planned you know, it just happened in an attempt to talk. So I don't know, I don't know how the conversation will be successful.

Maybe meet up and talk somewhere where it won't turn to sex. Like a quiet coffee shop, restaurant, or park. Anywhere public but somewhere not to busy so you can talk without a stranger next to you overhearing everything. How has it been going since school started?


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## nadia511

Yeah, that would be a good idea.

School's been kinda difficult, obviously. Not only does everyone know and can clearly see I'm pregnant, they know everything of how I got into this. It's like judging x2. It's hard to avoid the expressions people pull at you, and the way they turn to their friends laughing when you walk past. But what can I do? It's just another consequence of my actions.


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## mara16jade

Oh gosh, that's so hard! Being young and in school is hard enough, and then they make it even worse for you. I'm sorry you're having to go through that. :(


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## Tropiclands

I'm not saying or trying to get into rather you had sex intentionally or not. I'm just saying that it is sn activity that distracts from the more important matters.


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## Tropiclands

I also meant to say that you can tell him there will be no sex until he opens up and obviously still withhold sex at that point if you think that will get him talking. I also agree that meeting somewhere you are unable to have sex is a good idea.


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## BabyBlondex

Just read through your story and I think your so brave, I couldn't have done it at 16! I could barely look after myself. I think no matter what you choose your still doing the right thing. Here in the UK adoption isn't a common thing you hear about as much as ive heard people from the US, its either keep or abort. I dunno why. But I think you will be a fab mum. I also think FOB has a bit of a thing for you, and you must do a little bit to sleep with him a 2nd time lol. Congratulations on having a girl,. I also had a girl first, I was slightly older at 21 though, good luck and ill be following!


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## Andi86

Any updates?


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## MyFavSurprise

Hi, I just read this thread today and I really hope you are doing well. With my first pregnancy I thought about adoption toward the end and right up until the last weeks. My situation was far from ideal as well, but adoption didn't end up being right for me. I was adopted as a baby, my birthmom was 16 but she was on the street and doing a lot of drugs, she had no means to take care of a baby. I met her when I was 19, along with my birthsister who is 2 years younger than me. We had an open adoption, my parents sent letters and pictures for a little while, but she felt as though I needed to have my own life without her involvement, and so did she. She had a lot of guilt and for a long time told my sister that she didn't want to meet me. She was afraid I would be angry with her decision..which I was never, I only wanted to know her.

I am not sure what you ended up choosing, I know you were still thinking about both options from your last update, but I do want to say that you are very mature and you sound like you would make a wonderful mother. Age isn't always the biggest factor, I know people in their 30s who are still too immature to be parents.

After my pregnancy and the horrible situation I was in, my first son has been the light of my life. He changed me for the better and I have never regretted having him or going through what I went through to become his mother (bad decisions - party of one!)

At the time it felt like it would never be over... I had to move, change jobs, change my phone number.. but when he was born I became a different person. My roommate from then is still doing the exact same things with her life, but I have moved on and grown. I am 28 now and married and having my 3rd child. Raising my 1st with a little help from family was the most amazing experience, and he is so sweet and beautiful.. I wouldn't ever change what brought me to this point in my life. In the scheme of everything, the difficulties associated with my oldest were a very tiny part of everything I have become, and no part of what he has become.

Whatever you choose I hope you do it for you. If you're honest with yourself, no decision is wrong :)

Wishing you the best


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## mara16jade

Just wondering how you're doing? :)


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## smileyfaces

:hugs:


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## Xpecta

Well, you've got a new one following your story!! I just read the whole thing. I check this section sometimes due to the fact that I was a teen mom too. I got pregnant when I was 17, and had him when I was 18. 
However, your situation is more difficult than mine, and I have to comment on your strength and maturity! You've got this! You are already a mom, and a great one at that!! It sucks that you're going through the tough stuff at school. That's never fun! I've been the point of ridicule and rumors. It's awful! Keep your chin up. You're already doing what's best for you!!


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## nadia511

Hey all of you. I'm sorry, I know that it's been a while since I last even looked on here. But right now, honestly, the quickest update I can give is that I feel like curling up into a ball and crying the rest of my pregnancy away, if not even longer. It's been rough, and it still is. I'll try and be back with a more detailed update that you actually want to hear soon.


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## mara16jade

Oh no, I'm sorry things are so hard for you. We'll all be here when you're ready to talk


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## Xpecta

Agreed. I'm sorry it's so hard :hugs: but yes, we're here. Hold in there!


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## skyesmom

honey have you tried seeing a councilor or a therapist? that feeling of overwhelm could be also a beginning of a depression and could set you off to a PPD (post partum depression) which is not good for you and shouldn't be overlooked.
take care of yourself, you deserve all the love in this world <3 <3 <3


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## mara16jade

Hope things are ok. Are you doing anything special for the holidays?


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## nadia511

So.. a lot has happened since I've been gone. Like a lot.

Firstly, as my due date is January 7, the baby could arrive any day now which is scary. Really scary. I can't believe how fast this has gone, it doesn't seem that long ago since I ever signed up to this site, and I just want to thank everyone for their support and guidance.

Next, onto something a little less cheerful. Not long after my last post, I had what I guess you could call a severe breakdown. I could no longer deal with the life I was living, and I would have done anything to just end it all. I was very emotionally unstable and was admitted into hospital for a little while. I was then diagnosed with depression. I started to see a therapist twice a week, and was put on medication. Of course this wasn't that long ago, so I am still seeing my therapist twice a week and still taking my medication. It's a slow process, and although I'm still feeling fairly depressive, I feel that I'm no longer as much of a harm to myself as I was, but I still do have little episodes of intense emotions. 

As for what is happening to the baby, after everything that has been happening recently, I felt that it is best for me to give her up for adoption. I've spoken a lot about it with my therapist and I know that giving my baby up is going to come with another stem of depression, but I feel her life will be more happy and enjoyable growing up with a family who are ready to take on this challenge. 

For now, after I give birth, my main focus is to get better. The adoptive parents are very understanding of my situation, and are allowing for an open adoption at my own pace. 

And as for the holidays, I spent them with my immediate family, and despite my issues, I managed to have an enjoyable time. Hope all of you had a happy Christmas.


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## sarah34

I have just read all of this post and just wanted to say I admire your courage and wish you and your baby all the happiness in the world xx


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## mummy2_1

Read thru all of your thread. You are a very strong brave women. This has got to be the hardest decision. For you to put your feelings second and your babies needs first is amazing. Your doing amazing and will continue to do amazing. Good luck with the birth.


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## Srrme

Good luck with everything!


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## DaisyDreamer

:hugs2::hugs2:


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## Twag

:hugs: :hug: Sorry you have been having a hard time and I am glad you are getting the help you need - you are such a brave young lady and I admire you courage :hugs:

All the best for the birth and the future x


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## Midnight_Fairy

Good luck xx


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## ClairAye

:hugs: You're very brave to go through all of this! I really hope you can start to heal and find happiness in life again. <3


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## DobbyForever

I know I haven't participated in this thread, but I want to echo the other ladies. It is a brave and selfless choice you are making. You are so strong, and I'm so happy to hear your adoption will be open on your terms. Wishing you all the best and happy you found all of these wonderful women to support you throughout this pregnancy and after as well. Biggest hugs


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## Beccaboop

I've just read your whole thread and just wanted to say I hope your ok and if you've had your baby girl (I'm sure you have if your due date was 7th jan) then I hope the labour went ok and you and baby are doing well.
Whatever you decide now just remembered you know what's best for you and yoyr baby and no one can tell you otherwise! Xxxx


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## Xpecta

Is there any update here? Have you had your baby yet? If so how are you feeling?


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## skyesmom

Nadia, you are so incredibly brave to go through all this, to seek for help and to make the best decision for your baby and yourself.

i hope your therapy is progressing well and that soon you will be able to find some more peace for yourself and learn to love yourself more, you deserve every bit of it. it takes so much courage and responsibility and maturity to pull off everything you've done so far, including something so selfless like adoption.

xxx take care lady <3


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## 6lilpigs

I hope everything is going smoothly for you and little one xx


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## nadia511

Hey everyone. As I'm sure you already figured, I had my baby. I gave birth at 5:08 pm on January 9th. She weighed 6 pounds exactly and is named Olivia. She is doing well with her parents.


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## DobbyForever

Thank you for the update. :hugs: how are you doing?


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## ClairAye

I'm glad wee one is doing well and I hope you are too? <3


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## StillPraying

Adoption is one of the most beautiful and selfless things a person can do. You should be very proud of yourself honey:hugs:


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## LittleLala

You have truly done an amazing thing. Big hugs to you. I hope you are okay.


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## Twag

:hugs: hope you are doing okay


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## OnErth&InHvn

nadia511 said:


> She is doing well with her parents.

YOU are still her parent too. <3


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## Tropiclands

I'm glad that everything went well with the delivery and hope it's working out with the adopted family! How are you feeling about that though?


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