# Who Decides?? (Grandparents)



## sunnylove

Question. Who decides what the grandparents get to be called? (Ie, papa, granddad, Nana, grandma, etc.) Is it the grandparents, or the parents of the baby??

My parents have a lot of grandchildren and confusingly enough, all their grandchildren call my mom something different. 3 refer to her as Grandma Nancy, and 3 refer to her as Nana. Grandma Nancy was started by the first grandchild, so I have no idea why Nana was started, but it's super weird. In any case, my mom hates Grandma Nancy and likes Nana. 

I personally don't like Nana, I love Grandma Nancy, and since it was started by the first grandchild I think that's what my child should call her, but she insists on Nana. 

Also, what is your child supposed to call step-grandparents? Especially if Grandma, Nana, etc are taken by paternal grandma and maternal grandma?


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## cupcakekate

My Mum is Grandma and MIL is Nanny, they chose themselves what they'd like to be called xxx


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## AvianasMommy

My mother and grandmother have always both been "grandma" to my daughter (never really had a discussion about it?) but it gets sort of confusing when everyone's together :wacko:.


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## dizz

My MIL announced what she wanted to be - without asking us or anything... it's REALLY annoyed me the way she's done it - and since she's picked the variant that doesn't flow easily in our accent/dialect - I've ignored her!


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## LockandKey

After DD was born, my mother kept asking me this for the longest time, and I always replied with "whatever she wants to call you I guess," I just kind of let it come naturally, and when DD started talking, she was saying "Yaya," so now that's what my mother goes by, even though we do call her grama too, and my stepfather is grapa


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## Twinkie210

I let my Mom decide, but we just stuck with Grandma (no name after it) However we use Grandma ___ (name after it) when referring to my DH's mom. DH's Dad and Step Mom and DH's paternal Grandparents call themselves Nanny and Pop Pop, which I HATE! I still refer to them as Grandma ___ and Grandpa ___. What they call themselves is up to them. DH's Mom lives far away and DH's Dad never visits, so DS didn't really know who they were until he was older anyway and could process that we called them two different names.

DH's Step Mom passed away a couple years ago and he now has a new girlfriend who has the same name as my Mom! I really hope they don't get married because that would be super confusing to have two Grandma's with the same name (I may have to start using the Nanny name then!)


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## MummyMana

It should be up to the grandparents - I'd hate to be referred to as something I didn't want to be called, especially if I'd already specified. My Mum's going to be Nana, even though that's confusing because my nana is Nana :L but that's what she wants :) I do sometimes call her granny to wind her up though xD


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## bekkie

the grandparents chose - and they both want grandma/grandpa - one set live on a farm, the other in town... so one set is farm grandma/grandpa and the other is town grandma/grandpa *shrug*


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## lozzy21

I asked them what they want to be called. She has 5 grandmas, a nana, a gran and 4 grandads, (grandparents, step grandparents and great grandparents)

We have allways used Grandma/ Grandad and then their name so its less confusing.


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## alicecooper

My MIL is "nana" to my children, because they are her youngest grandchildren (DH's siblings have 8 children between them, all older than my kids), and all the others already called her nana, so as she was already known as nana it made sense for my kids to call her that too.

My mam is "granny" to my children, because I used to call my grandmother (my mam's mam) granny (or sometimes babcia as she was Polish), so my mam was used to hearing me call her mother that, so she automatically referred to herself as granny once my kids were born, so granny it is.

My dad is married to my step-mother, and she already had grandsons before I had kids, and they called my dad and step-mother "granddad" and "grandma".
My kids therefore call my dad "granddad" as well, but as I myself call my step-mother by her name (name), they call her "grandma June" instead of just "grandma".

So that's that :

nana
granny
granddad
grandma June

(FIL died about 18 years ago, way before I met DH, so the kids have no set 'name' for him. If he comes up in conversation we just refer to him as "your other granddad".)


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## CatherineK

My boys have my mom (Grammie) and my husbands parents (mawmaw and pawpaw) and my husbands grandmother (great mawmaw). The grandparents have the right to choose, I think. Although kids don't always comply  My husband's parents are called nana and papa by here other grandkids, my kids just started using mawmaw and pawpaw and it stuck!


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## Eleanor ace

I see it as up to the grandparents to decide- I wouldn't want someone telling me what name I had to go by (as an adult, obviously my parents named me as a baby). MIL is Granny Scotland, FIL was Grandad, my mum is Nona/Mimi and my dad is Grandpa/Grandi


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## Jess137

To me, my grandparents have always been "Grandma Cathey, Grandma Nelson", etc. My daughter will be my parents' first grandchild and neither of them are even 50 yet so my mom isn't comfortable being called grandma. She wants to be called GiGi, and I'm fine with that. I wouldn't want to be called something I don't like. I don't think its a problem for the grandparents to choose what they want to be called (as long as if isn't something completely crazy and off the wall!).


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## Zebra2023

With us it is usually who ever is older they get called Grandma, the youngest gets called Nanna, but OH Mother is fussy and likes to act young so is whining that she doesn't want to be called Grandma, so I have no idea how it will work. We have thought of Nanan for the oldest and Nanna for the youngest. Grandad will be the same for both as it is like it in our family.


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## Newt4

My mil insisted on mum mum because that's what her other grand kids call her. Personally I don't like it as I'm all mom or mum. She's called gramma now because I personally don't like her being called mum mum.


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## Leesy

I think the grand parents choose? Never really thought about it before tbh. In my family most have different names. I call my grandparents

Nana Brown (mums mum)
Nana (dad's mum)
Pa ( dads dad)
Grandy (mum's dad)
Poppa (mums step dad)

My Lo and his cousins call great grand parents as above and their grand parents

Grammy (my mum)
Grumpy (my step dad)
Paj (my dad)
Nani (my step mum)
Gan Gan (MIL)
Grand Pa (FIL)

Lots there but thats what happens when you have a big dirvorced and remarried family!


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## Firestar

I asked all four (the two grandads don't really mind, both are too laid back for their own good sometimes!), and both our mums want grandma as they both hate the idea of being called "nanny" or "nana" which is fine by me - Grandma Kathy and Grandma Anne is perfectly ok IMO :)


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## AllieM

I would let the grandparents decide. The only names that are off the table are "mom" and "dad"! I don't let my kids dictate what they will call me and I feel it would belittle the grandparent to let the kids (or even myself) dictate what they were called. My MIL always wanted to be "Nana" as that's what her kids called her mom. I could never take that joy from her! She just has to understand that it's a little harder to find greeting cards that use "nana" instead of "grandma/grandmother"!


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## Mizzy

the grandparent decided here, if i callen my nan grandma i would get a clut rount the eat and a 'dont make me sound like a goat' remark, my other grandparent is Scottish so shes a grandma through choice/tradition. My mum has taken nanna (or nannar as the accent goes) and again would not be impressed with grandma, my OH's mum (again with her being scottish) is granny though her choice


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## fionar

My MIL and FIL are Grandma Anna and Dad Dad
My mom and dad are Grandma and Grandpa
My paternal grandparents are Oma and Opa
My maternal grandparents are Grandma Gayle and Grandpa Tom

For the most part they decided what they wanted to be called. My in-laws were easy, because they already had three grandsons who called them that. My parents thus got "Grandma and Grandpa". My paternal grandparents decided what they wanted to be called, my maternal grandparents have always been "Grandma and Grandpa Tom" to me, so it flowed naturally to my son (except he added my grandma's name). 

Doesn't really bother me what they all want to be called just so it's not anything too complicated, since I have to remember to refer to them by those names when I talk to my son!


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## x_WelshGirl_x

My mum is Ninny (said she had a dream she got called ninny Lynny) so that's where that's come from. My dad is taid (welsh for grandad). MIL is nanna as that's what her other grandchildren call her, her partner is uncle Paul, noway is he getting a grandparent title. FIL is grandad.
My dads mum wanted to be called nanna by me but when I started talking I called her nain (welsh for nanna) so sometimes it doesnt matter what they want to be called, as they'll get called something else by the children anyway.


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## Beanonorder

dizz said:


> My MIL announced what she wanted to be - without asking us or anything... it's REALLY annoyed me the way she's done it - and since she's picked the variant that doesn't flow easily in our accent/dialect - I've ignored her!

My MIL has done the same thing and I HATE what she has chosen. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with being a grandparent. On top of that its something her family uses for her and when my dh and I were engaged she told me I couldn't call her that (not that I wanted to) but now she expects my daughter to call her that and me to use it to refer to her?! I think not.


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## mnonie

Pass on the 2 grandma, but the grandads will prob be grandpa Norman (OHs grandad) then grandad Andrew and grandad tony. GG for OHs grandma, grandad James for my grandad and grand nona (grandma in Italian) for my nona :). However we're not wanting SMIL to be anything so she'll be Annette. We wanted to be able to decide as our families are huge and it would get so confusing


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## ChaseThisLite

I think it's odd that anyone would want to inflict a name or form of address on anyone else. Grandparents should feel free to get their grandkids to call them whatever they are most comfortable with. I called my Mum's parents Granny and Grampa but my Dad's mother preferred to go by her first name so we just called her that. When I was married, my in-laws preferred that their grandchildren call them 'Ma' and 'Pa'. Unless you give the grandparents naming rights to your baby, I don't see why you should expect to be able to choose how they are going to addressed.
Exception - if they make a suggestion that is totally inappropriate as my Dad did - he suggested his grandchildren call him 'The Old [email protected]'. He was kidding, though. Mostly. :haha:


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## ZoMo

There are 3 sets of grandparents for my baby and they all decided themselves what they want to be called. I asked them what they want to be called, it doesnt make any difference to me. At the moment she calls everyone and everything 'dada' anyway!!!!


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## NaturalMomma

I let them decide, it's not a big deal to me. Both sides are called grandma/grandpa, but on my DH's side it's in Italian.


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## SIEGAL

My grandma wanted to be called buby so she trained her since birth! It did stick. My parents Are called papa (mispronounced grandpa) and Tata (mispronounced safta Hebrew for grandma) after failed attempts at grandma. So point is baby chooses what he will call you. I wasn't going to argue with my grandma what baby will call her as being called what she wanted brought her so much pleasure. Why take it away?


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## mnonie

We've asked the family and that was what they said they wanted but I'm glad they let us choice :).


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## USAF_WIFE

With my mom (dad is not around parents are divorced) we were calling her granny... BUT my daughter started calling her Honey :)))) so she is now honey! My inlaws are grandma and grandpa and that was just kinda started by hubby and I telling her who they were.. She has a meemaw (my grandma), a ggma (husbands grandma), and another grandpa ( my grandpa). I assume my other children will follow with the names.


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## Fergie

My mum is nanna (family thing to call maternal line nanna & pappa), my dad and his wife are grandad and grandma C (they chose as we aren't close at all). My OH's mum is Granny and his dad would have been Grandpa. Everyone chose their own really, names weren't forced on to them they just went with what they wanted and we're happy with the choices.


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## sethsmummy

Normally grandparents chose BUT if your not comfy with what they pick then its your right to say no. it is your child after all!

My mum and dad are nanna and grandad. Thats what they wanted and what they are to the older grandchildren and im happy with that. My Nanna is also just nanna to ds. 

fil is grandad, mil is anne when i refer to her with my son (I refuse to call her nanna/grandma as we have a very bad relationship and she actually disowned me and my son before he was even born.. before trying to siddle her way back in). She tries to get him to call her nanna (he doesnt talk properly yet so its win win at the moment). MIL told us when we were pregnant that our son was to call my FIL "Da" And i point blank refused. Im sorry but the only Da in my sons like is his dad. I will not have him calling a grandparent dad. 

When my nieces/nephews were learning to speak they called my dad GanGan as they could't get grandad out. Iv no idea when my 3 year old is going to start talking but i think he will be ready to say grandad fully. x


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## Mummy Bean

I let them choose, it is there name after all. They all made it clear terms they really didnt like, and fortunantly they all choose something different.

So we got grandad and granny (my parents) 
Grumps and JoJo (oh parents)
Grandma and grandpa (oh grandparents)
Nan (my nan)
Papa (my step mum dad)

Lot to remember.


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## Tasha

We let them chose. PIL chose Grandad and Nanna. My parents chose Granny and Grandad, but my oldest (first grandchild) couldnt say it for a long time so GeeGee and Nandad has stuck.

We called paternal grandparents Nan and Grandad, and maternal was Gran and Grandad. We also had Great-Granny which is what my children refered to my Gran when she was alive also.


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## MumToEva

My mum and dad were already granny and granda to my niece, and my MIL was Nanny to my husband's niece and nephew, so we just used the same. They are used to the names and are happy with them, plus I like that they are different so there's no confusion for Eva as to who's who. 

I personally would let them decide what they want to be called themselves, although within reason. My friend's parents decided they wanted to be called Paw and Gran Gran - I kinda think that's a bit OTT, think i would have overruled them personally.


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## Vicyi

My Mum is 'Nanny' (her choice) and her partner is just 'Clive'
My Dad is 'Grandad' and his partner is 'Nanny Ann' (their choice)
My MIL is 'Nanny Wendy' (her choice) although up until a few months ago she was Nanny *surname* but now decided she doesnt like this :dohh:
My FIL is 'Grandad in the big house' or 'Grandad far away' as he lives in Oman in a huuuge house. lol
My Nan & Grandad are called 'Nanny Darling' and 'Grandad Darling' as when my DD (the first GGC) was little my Nan always used to call her 'Darling' and so my DD decided on those names <3
My partners Grandmothers are called 'Gran *surname' and 'Nanny Eileen' (their choice)


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## Mummy May

They decide..
My mother is grandma
DD's Paternal g/parents are Nannie and Pappy
MIL/FIL are Nanna Jan and Grandad
OH's grandparents are Nanna and Grandad


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## MrsPoodle

They decide. 

hubby's parents are Yiayia and Grandad
my mum and her husband are Nanny and Gramps
my dad is Grandpa and his wife is just Joy, she says she feels too young to be a grandma and she's too conscious of the fact she's not our mum


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## iwanababybump

My mum is nanna Jayne his mum nanna Ellen although so long as they aren't in the same room as one another (which is 98% of the time) they are just called nanna 
However my nanna LO great nanna is nanna sadie all the time


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## kintenda

I have let our family members choose - my Mum and stepdad will be called Nana and Pops, OH's parents are Grandma and Granddad (already have other grandchildren and it's what they prefer) and my Dad will be called Granddad. My Dad lives 300 miles away and generally has quite little to do with me, and I suspect that our relationship will come to a standstill in the next year as it's been brewing for a long time - he has let me down continually since my Mum and Dad split up 20 odd years ago and I have decided that he will not be allowed to hurt my child in the same way. I digress, sorry! Point is that I wasn't particularly bothered what he called himself as he will have so little to do with our child/children, or nothing at all if he continues to act this way. I was particularly keen for my stepdad to have a different name to the other two as he has been brilliant to me, and my mum was never keen on Grandma anyway.

As OH and I didn't have strong feelings on the whole matter (apart from my stepdad's name being more distinctive) we just let them all work it out themselves. However, I understand that some people may prefer some names over others etc, but personally I think that it's nice for them to pick the name that they will be called for the rest of their lives! Maybe just remind them that children will probably end up picking their own name though...! X


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## Guppy051708

Initially the way we decided is that i would get to choose what the kids call my parents. And of course i went with what i called my grandparents, "grammy" and "pappy". And then DH got to pick what they called his parents and of course he wanted to go with what he knew his grandparents by which was "PapPap" and "Grandma". This worked out great, for the most part, except DHs parents are a bit older (given DHs age) and his mom was insecure with being called "Grandma" :wacko: so she is called "Nana"...whatever makes her happy i guess haha. i think she is in denial about her age (even though no one else seems to care :dohh:)


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## bassdesire

I'd think of course the grandparents-who else? The parents? That makes no sense

Both my kids know each name-there are six different names and it has never been a problem!!


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## Larkspur

Surely the grandparents get to choose what they want to be called, with the secondary consideration being what the grandchildren *actually* call them.

If/when I become a grandmother, I do not think it will really fly with me if my DIL decides she wants me to be called Boopsie or Nan-nan or Granny because that's what she likes best. :dohh:


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## Fortune Cooki

Yeah, I didn't have a 'grandma' growing up, I had 'nana' and 'oma'. No idea how my child is going to call my parents and DH's two sets of parents.


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## Sass827

Mine have all called dibs. My parents- mom mom and pop pop. FIL and gf are pap and Mimi and mil and her husband are grandmother and grandfather last name. I think the last set is odd, but apparently it's the tradition in their family, so be it.


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## smileyfaces

We say Nan or Nana and I think that was started by MIL. Lo's great grandma is 'GeeGee'.


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## Annie77

My husbands parents both died a long time ago, we refer to them as gran and grandad. My parents chose to be called granny and papa. My own gran, who died before my kids were born, is referred to as gaga and my other gran who has since passed is great- granny. My husband lost his gran after 1st baby was born - we called her great-nan.


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## MamaFlick

My mom is choosing what she will be called, however I did have to tell her No on her first choice (Nana) since that is what my grandmother is called, so that would be confusing. I told her she was being an identity thief, stealing her mother's name! ;)

She has been kind enough to run names by me as she thinks of them, but really I'll let her call herself whatever she wants as long as it's not super crazy.


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## Equreuil

I've actually not thought about this.

My in-laws have always been grandma and poppa to their other grandchildren (my sisters-in-law have 3 a piece).

For my parents this will be their first grandchild. To me, my grandparents have always been grandma and grandpa because that's what my parents referred to them as in relation to me. I may have to ask my mother what she'd prefer. Two "grandma"s could be confusing. She may have to choose some other form.


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## MrS. MaBrEy

grandparents pick as far as I knew :shrug: my mom is meme, my dad is papa, his parents are nana and papa, and his dad is pawpaw. All the same for all the kids.


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## Hunbun

My mum wanted to be granny and my mil wanted to be gran.

It doesn't bother me what they get called but I always refer to mil as granny when talking to LO, it's just habit because that's what I called my granparents. It doesn't seem to bother her though.


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## aidensxmomma

To be completely honest, I can't even remember how my kids started calling their grandparents the names they're called. :dohh: My kids are the first grandchildren on both sides of the family, so there wasn't anything to really go off of. I think my son had a lot to do with the choosing of names. 

-My mom and stepdad: Nana Sandie and Papa
-My dad and stepmom: Grandpa Roger and Ronni (maybe Grandma Ronni, to be honest, I'm not entirely sure...I don't spend hardly any time around my stepmom)
-MIL and FIL: Grandma Kris and Grandpa Bob
-My grandparents: Great Nana and Papa
-FOBs grandparents: Great grandma and Great grandpa.

Kind of off topic, but my son pretty much got to decide what we called his aunts and uncles. For example, he calls my SIL TeeTee, because when he learned to talk, Auntie Tracy was too hard for him to pronounce and it just kind of blended into TeeTee.


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## mandaxx

I chose and mine call theirs nanny. Having said that, their grandparents sign cards as granny or nan. My mum is nanny Kate and she signs things and refers to herself the same. My eldest isn't my husbands child and she finds it confusing referring to her sisters grandparents. She tends to just call them Marks mum and dad lol and we don't see them much anyway xxx


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## greenlady

My parents are known as Nanny or Nana and Papa by my DD, by my brothers kids Nanny Sue (because SIL's mum is Nanny Barb), and Dawa (not sure how this happened but the first grandchild started using it instead of grandad when he was learning to talk). 

My DHs parents on the other hand refuse to go by any form of Grandma or Grandad at all, and want only to be called their first names. I do find this typically pompous and un-cosy of them but I guess it's their perogative. They are on the other side of the world now so thankfully it doesn't wind me up much anymore.


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