# Rainbows after the storm (late loss/stillbirth/neonatal loss/sids)



## nicola ttc

Hi ladies.
I thought it might be nice to have a thread for anyone who is pregnant after late loss, stillbirth, neonatal loss, sids or any other loss of a child other than m/c.
I don't want to offend anyone who has m/c but for us, the worry is just different. The things we will worry about, the times we will worry, the 'dates' we need to get past etc.
I just thought it might be nice to be here to support each other through that.:flower:
I'm Nicola. I lost Edward to SIDS at 4 weeks 5 days in September 2011 and lost Emily, born at 25 weeks, at 2 days old in May 2012.
I am due June 6th 2013.
:flower:

:flow: *Due Date List *:flow:

Krippy - 15th December 2012.
Raif Shaheed born 02/12/12 :blue:

Babybell - 23rd December 2012. 
Lewis Jacob Owen Bell born 03/12/12 :blue:

Ich28 - 15th February 2013
Jonathan born 21/01/13 :blue:

Springflower - :pink: 1st May 2013
Sadie born 24/04/13 :pink:

Nicola ttc - :pink: 4th June 2013

Dextersmum - :pink: 17th June 2013

Lexi - :pink: 19th June 2013

SweetbutHyper - :blue: 30th June 2013
Zachary Anthony Keith born 10/04/13 :blue:

Amjon - :blue::blue: 9th July 2013


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## Krippy

Hope you don't mind that I am following you Nicola!

My son was born sleeping at 39.5 weeks a little over a year ago. Cause unknown and I am almost 31 weeks pregnant with my rainbow. It will be great to have a thread like this to come and discuss all of our fears and also all of our triumphs! 

Thanks Nicola!


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## nicola ttc

Not at all krippy! 
Just what i was thinking. :flower:
Hows your pregnancy going? Do you get extra scans and checks this time?


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## Krippy

I have had ultrasounds once a month and I start bi-weekly NSTs starting in 1 week. So lots of hospital visits...but happy to be monitored and watched closely. It is starting to become more stressful now that I am getting closer to the end where I had my problems in my last pregnancy. I am worried about every feeling and pain, which of course comes along with any pregnancy! But only 7 more weeks until I meet this rainbow of mine and I am so excited!


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## Baby Bell

Hey girls can I join too?

I'm Aileen, my son Eoin was born sleeping last year at 36 weeks in Dec.
I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baba and although everything looking good so far I'm beginning to get really nervous/anxious. 

I'm getting 2 weekly scans to make sure my wee baby is doin ok. And induction booked for 3rd Dec. 

Hope everyone is doing well, and coping ok :hugs:


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## Krippy

Yaaaahhh Bell/Aileen is here! My name is Kristin btw!


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## nicola ttc

Welcome Babybell. :wave:
How many weeks will you be when you are induced?
I'll be having another section this time and hoping to get as far as possible!! My babies have been born at (2 full term) 35,34,32 then 25 weeks so more than a little bit scared about this time!
I imagine the nearer we all get to our own 'worry point' the more anxious we will feel. Excited to meet our rainbows but anxious too.


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## _Lexi_

Hey girls. Little scary to be here as only got my bfp today. Think I'm due June next year, about 4 weeks at the moment. 

Joshua was born at 32 weeks by planned c section to severe iugr and severely low fluid. He weighed 2lb 7oz and was with us for 13 hours before growing his wings. We still don't have a cause of death, but are going through genetic testing at the moment. They think it might be a disease that hasn't been seen before created by my partner and I both having the same 1 cell of DNA (out of over 17 thousand...) that has a defect. 

I had an early mc 2 months ago. The first 12 weeks will be the usual worry, then after 20 weeks we'll be worried about iugr and fluid, then the birth is going to be terrifying in case the same thing happens. 

Think I'm worrying a bit too soon, haven't even told the other half yet!! 

Thanks for inviting me over Nicola. I've said hi in the first tri forums, but the support just isn't the same xx


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## Krippy

Hi Lexi! 

I have a feeling that I am going to like this group! Thanks again Nicola...what a great idea!


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## Tasha

Not pregnant (yet) but wanted to say congrats to Nicola and you all :)


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## Baby Bell

Congratulations lexi and Nicola on both your bfps! I hope we can all help each other through these difficult weeks/ months!

Kristin I think we just keep ending up in the same threads.......far too similar life events I suppose! :hugs:

Nicola I'll be 37 weeks when I'm induced. Have you seen your consultant yet, hopefully they will be monitoring you very closely :)


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## sandrab

Hi all my name is Sandra 

1st daughter misha Janet Victoria was born 17/07/04 at 36+4 weighing 3lbs 5 oz I was told by hospital all she had o do was get bigger, so waited and waited then she started to become really ill and then passed away 26/11/04 with severe pulmonary hypertension I never got her out of hospital and miss her every day

2nd daughter amber anne born 09/11/05 which she is perfect and will soon be 7 

2011 1 x MMC , 2012 2 x MMC 

So even though my daughter amber is my rainbow baby I have had much luck since so still terrified I am now 10weeks pregnant x


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## nicola ttc

Hi Sandra. :hi:
I don't think it makes a difference if you've had healthy pregnancies before or after your loss, the hurt of losing the baby you lost is just as big and the worry will still be there! :hugs:

Kristin - i'm loving this thread already. :thumbup:

Aileen- i have seen my dr but will be having my first proper appointment on wednesday next week. We'll make a plan from there but am definitely going to be classed as high risk!!

Lexi- good to have you here. Really pleased for you - have you told Jon yet?! Do you know yet how they'll manage this pregnancy?

Tasha - thanks lovely. Hopefully you'll join us here soon. :hugs:


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## nicola ttc

Hi ladies :wave:
How is everyone today?
I got my first consultant appointment through for when i'm12 weeks. Next week is for midwife, i got confused.
It seems really far away and quite late to first see the consultant but i guess none of my problems really occur til week 20 onwards so theydon't actually need to monitor me til then. :shrug:
I'm desperate for a scan! I just can't believe there is a baby in thrre or that everything is ok if there is. Did anyone else feel like this?!? My only symptom is tiredness atm which isnt unusual for me anyway so just doesn't feel real yet.
6 weeks today. :yipee:


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## Krippy

Oh Nicola...I felt like that up until around 20 or so weeks. It is all so surreal and unbelievable at so many times. Sometimes I still have too remind myself that I will have a baby in my arms in just 7 short weeks.

These 6 weeks will fly by and you will be seeing your bean so soon! So happy for you!


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## _Lexi_

I'm pretty good today bits starting to sink in a little now!! Going to ring my dr tomorrow and see if I can get an appoitment with him. Will then have a meeting with Joshua's dr, my consultant during my lady pregnancy, and my genetics specialist!! Then perhaps the midwife. Lol. I'm really hoping for an early scan, but I know it's not likely. With Joshua I had scans at 5 and 6 weeks due to pain and bleeding, then twice a week from 22 weeks!! Not really sure how they'll monitor me to be honest. I imagine from 20 weeks they'll be checking size/growth and fluid, but probably not a lot till then. 

Jon was confused when I handed him the present, he opened it, looked at me a bit confused, then you could see it click. He was really happy, hugged me, then kissed my tummy. Bless him. Both just really scared and nervous. 

I think I'm about 4 weeks now. In my last pregnancy, severe hyperemesis kicked in at 5+3, right up till 24 weeks. Fingers crossed it stays away this time. 

But worried about my job. Only xmas temp, been there a month, but they told me they usually keep the temps on. I just know that as soon as I mention pregnancy, my chance if being kept on are gone. Problem is I'll be needing time off for appoitments, and wish Joshua I got quite bloated really early and looked about 25 weeks, oddly enough it was the biggest I got during my whole pregnancy!! xx


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## nicola ttc

Ahhh what a lovely reaction Lexi.
Thats quite a lot of doctors you need to see!! For me things kind of tick along in the first 18weeks or so before i get extra checks too. 
Its strange how the early bloating makes you look about 5 months pregnant isn't it?!? I'm going to struggle to hide this til the 12 week scan!
Its a shame about the job - maybe you could speak to whoevers in charge to explain the situation? Might be worth a shot if you'd like to stay on. :shrug:

I'm in bed already. Just so ridiculously tired today. Yaaaaaaawn.
Night night ladies. :hugs:


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## nicksi27

Hi ladies, please can i join :) My name is nicola and im 8 weeks pregnant after losing jacob my first baby in february. We went along for our 20 week scan and there was no hb :'( We have since found out that jacob had IUGR due to placental failure but dont actually know what caused the placenta to fail. Clotting screens etc have been negative so the only thing i can think of is maybe early onset pre-eclampsia. Anyway, im excited to be pregnant again but absolutely terrified. Me and my OH are already continuously talking about this LO and i just dont want to let him down. Im on aspirin now and am currently waiting for my first consultant appt (probably be when im 12 weeks). im having scans at 12,16,20 weeks then a doppler at 23 weeks and repeated clotting screens with my further care being planned then. The thought of stepping foot in a scanning room terrifies me. I went for my first MW appt at the hospital a week ago and had to walk straight past the scanning room where i got the bad news and the other room i had to sit in last time - i could feel the panic rising and my heart was pounding it was horrible. I just gotta hope ill get better news when in these rooms this time. 

Congrats on your new pregnancies ladies - wishing you all a H&H pregnancy. xx


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## nicola ttc

Hi Nicksi :wave: good to see you here.
Its good you have a care plan all set up and are going to be closely monitored. 
I'm sure it will be scary going back into a scanning room but i know it will be happy news this time. :hugs:


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## nicksi27

nicola ttc said:


> Hi Nicksi :wave: good to see you here.
> Its good you have a care plan all set up and are going to be closely monitored.
> I'm sure it will be scary going back into a scanning room but i know it will be happy news this time. :hugs:

thanks nicola ive read some of your posts on the other boards, im so sorry for your losses :flower: Are you about 6-7 weeks? i think im due around 26th May so just before you. Is your care going to be much differnet this time? i just wish i could have a scan to believe that there actually is a baby in there! :hugs:


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## Krippy

Congrats Nicksi! Welcome to the group! Always think positive thoughts with all of your scans...I found that it has helped me to visualize positive outcomes! Although I have to say it all has been nerve-wracking for sure.

I have a growth scan tomorrow morning...Fingers crossed that this bubs is a regular size and I can have a vaginal birth. So excited to see him/her again! :)


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## nicksi27

Krippy said:


> Congrats Nicksi! Welcome to the group! Always think positive thoughts with all of your scans...I found that it has helped me to visualize positive outcomes! Although I have to say it all has been nerve-wracking for sure.
> 
> I have a growth scan tomorrow morning...Fingers crossed that this bubs is a regular size and I can have a vaginal birth. So excited to see him/her again! :)

Hi Krippy :flower: i think i need to have a more positive outlook for sure. Good luck for your scan tomorrow - fingers crossed for you im sure everything will be fine. Not long to go now and your rainbow will be here :hugs:


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## nicola ttc

Ooh good luck for your scan tomorrow Kristin. :hugs:
Nicksi i'm not sure what the plan of action is yet!! We have to see where the placenta attaches this time and what happens as we go along. I have drs tomorrow, midwife on wednesday and we'll go from there i guess. :shrug:
Yep, 7 weeks on Thursday due June 6th but my last 4 babies have been preemies so not expecting to get to then (but hoping!!)


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## nicksi27

afternoon ladies, i rang my hospital just now and asked when my first appt would be. they had made it for 12 weeks. id been told that i would be seen sooner so after explaining my worries etc after what happened with jacob, they are seeing me tomorrow. Im absolutely s****ing myself!!! sounds stupid but im so frightened theyre gonna do a scan and theres gonna be no hb or no baby at all! looking on the bright side at least tomorrow i will know for sure rather than waiting until 12 weeks.


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## nicksi27

Krippy - how did your scan go? good i hope :) 

Nicola - Did you see your doctor? hope it went ok :) 

I had an early scan yesterday and after having a melt down in the scan room - i saw little baba and saw the heart beating. I got my dates put forward from 8+5 to 9+4 (although im not sure how because i know exactly when we concieved due to charting!!)


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## nicola ttc

Nikcksi that's fantastic news! Must just be a big strong bubba in there making the dates different.:thumbup:

I saw my doctor on Tuesday and midwife yesterday. Both wanted the same - a whole load of information - and neither had bothered reading my notes so i had to explain my whole history to them. :cry:

Still, they're booking a scan which i should get the date for this week and will be seeing a consultant before the 12 weeks i think so not all bad.

How did the scan go Kristin?:hugs:


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## nicksi27

nicola ttc said:


> Nikcksi that's fantastic news! Must just be a big strong bubba in there making the dates different.:thumbup:
> 
> I saw my doctor on Tuesday and midwife yesterday. Both wanted the same - a whole load of information - and neither had bothered reading my notes so i had to explain my whole history to them. :cry:
> 
> Still, they're booking a scan which i should get the date for this week and will be seeing a consultant before the 12 weeks i think so not all bad.
> 
> How did the scan go Kristin?:hugs:

Its good that you will be seen before 12 week - hopefully not too much of a wait now. I had to explain my story to a midwife and then the consultant yesterday it was draining. When i went to the reception desk when i first went in i asked if they had got jacobs notes out and she said 'no why'!! i said the consultant might find them beneficial. i noticed on some paperwork on my notes that they said my other maternity notes were 'missing' so im not happy about that and im gonna ask about it when i go back. I think they should have them together to compare if needed. They have no common sense :wacko:


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## Krippy

Congrats on the great scan and HB Nicksi! That is such reassuring news...Take each day a milestone at a time!

I am sorry that you both had to relive you stories at each appt. That is soooo draining but I always think of it has being a proud mama and spreading the word about my boy. Sending you both love and lots of strength.

I had a great scan...Bubs is measuring exactly right on date, about 4 pounds now which is insane. But it looks like I am well on my way for a vaginal birth as baby should 7 or 8 pounds in 6 weeks. I see my OB/GYN on Tuesday to discuss the plan of action my induction or if he still wants me to have a C-section. 

I have been feeling a little crazy and on edge and feel sorry for my husband bc I have no one else to take it out on. Every little muscle twinge or braxton hicks contractions I really have been petrified deep inside and trying not to show it too much but I def need to let it out bc it is making me seem insane and just plain mean. For most of my pregnancy I have been fine saying that everything is out of my control and now that I am nearing the end I am really getting scared. Even though I know in my heart that everything will be ok...has to be ok...I am just feeling blah.


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## nicksi27

So glad that your scan went ok krippy - you and your LO are doing so well. i hope you get to have the delivery you want. Its understandable that you are feeling on edge - you are getting nearer the time and it must be hard to keep calm and keep your fears to yourself. But as you say you know deep down that everything WILL be ok. I hope the coming weeks fly for you. :)


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## Ayna

Hello everyone,I am really happy I came across this forum, I also had twins early this year at 27 weeks, it was a hard time, I lost the boy bebi after two days and iman 21 days later....

I am pregnant now, jst found out a week ago, so am soo happy but am scared as well, hoping things will be easier this time around, it's also a busy time for me jst started my masters program, anyway haven't had my appointment yet with the midwife, waiting for their call. I haven't used a midwife before so it's new, any advice. Also I really cant wait for the scan to know for sure there's a baby in there :happydance:

Congrats to All the ladies who are expecting wonderful blessings coming soon, by gods grace it would work out fine for all of us.:flower:.


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## nicksi27

Ayna said:


> Hello everyone,I am really happy I came across this forum, I also had twins early this year at 27 weeks, it was a hard time, I lost the boy bebi after two days and iman 21 days later....
> 
> I am pregnant now, jst found out a week ago, so am soo happy but am scared as well, hoping things will be easier this time around, it's also a busy time for me jst started my masters program, anyway haven't had my appointment yet with the midwife, waiting for their call. I haven't used a midwife before so it's new, any advice. Also I really cant wait for the scan to know for sure there's a baby in there :happydance:
> 
> Congrats to All the ladies who are expecting wonderful blessings coming soon, by gods grace it would work out fine for all of us.:flower:.

Hello ayna :flower: my names nicola. Welcome to the board. Im so sorry for the heartbreaking loss of your beautiful twins but congratulations on your new pregnancy. Hopefully you will find your midwife helpful and you should check with her if you will be classed as high risk at the hospital (im sure you will be given your history). Hopefully, you will recieve extra appointments and possibly and early scan. I know what you mean about the scan, i had one last week and was sure they were going to tell me id imagined it lol but baby was there wriggling around. Sounds like you are very busy which might be a good thing and take your mind off things and hopefully your pregnancy will fly by. Wishing you a very happy and healthy pregnancy :hugs:


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## dextersmum

hello ladies

I am so glad that Nicola has set up this group as I know you will all understand where I am coming from. I found out I was pregnant last week when we lit a candle for the wave of light for our precious baby boy Dexter who left us in March aged just 54 days old. It was a lovely time to find out as I was already emotional.

But I am a little nervous to say the least. I had 2 mc's before we had Dexter who was born by emergency c section at 28 weeks old due to placenta problems. And I have had another mc in July this year so I am really hoping this is 5th time lucky for me and this is the baby that is here to stay.

Due to my mc's I have had lots of tests and everything has come back normal so there are no obvious reasons for my losses but I have a medical care plan in place and I will go for a scan on the 1st nov (6 wks 2 days) to see if pregnancy is progressing and then be given heprin and progresterone to take so am keeping everything crossed for that date.

I feel a little bit lighter having shared my news as I have only told 2 people so far and one of them is my husband


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## nicola ttc

Hi ladies :wave:
Ayna welcome to the thread. Sorry for your losses, we all know how hard it is and how scary another pregnancy is and we're all here to get each other through it! I'm definitely with you on wanting a scan to check theres really a baby in there! Mine won't be til early dec at 12 weeks because my problems generally start after that. Seriously cant wait!! If it wasn't nearly christmas i'd be booking an early private scan :blush:
Tracey, lovely to see you here. I was really hoping you'd join us. :hugs: 
I have everything possible crossed that you finally get your rainbow. 
Kristin i bet you're getting so excited now - as well as terrified! Good luck for your appointment tomorrow - i hope they let you book an induction rather than c-section. No such choices for me after 4!! :haha:


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## Krippy

Welcome Anya! I am sorry to hear about your LOs but happy to hear about your rainbow!

Hi Tracy! So happy to see you here hun! Try to stay positive for that little bean of yours!

I was at L&D on Saturday bc I was having period like cramping. Started at 12pm ish went to hospital round 3pm and they didn't quit until 8pm ish. They did an NST and baby was doing great (I wasn't worried about movement just the cramping) and told me to go home with usual intructions...if you see blood, waters breaking, etc. I know all of this of course and they made me feel kind of silly.

It def. wasn't labour contractions bc I know what those feel like but they also weren't normal cramps either. Maybe stretching or baby engaging. Anyway my Dr. was really patronizing and told the nurse over the phone that it was probably bc I was anxious. I don't think she meant to but I am a very practical person and wouldn't make big deal over nothing. So I had to listen to the nurse lecture me about anxiety and when to come in, etc. Going to talk to my OB on tomorrow and see what he says...I feel like my GP is too nonchalant about my treatment, kind of like the first time (She was my Dr. for RJ too). Makes me nervous...I am going to ask that my OB/GYN will be my primary caregiver for the next 5 or so weeks. I will see my GP as I think that it is important for me to go through the baby process with her and have a positive outcome and I think necessary for her too. But I def. think that I am going through some trust issues with her and I know that it is perfectly normal with what I have been through. I just don't want to have anything missed this time around and I def. don't want it to be my fault.

Anyway...thanks Nicola for the good thoughts. I can't wait until tomorrow morning to see what the induction plan will be. I do have a c-section booked for December 5th but I would love to hear that he wants to induce me a couple of days before that! Fingers crossed! 

Hope you all have a wonderful Monday! :) It is cold here in Canada but it was so nice to get out and go for a nice refreshing, yet slow walk this morning. I am absolutely waddling for sure now! I posted a 32 week bump pic for you ladies and a 28 week for comparison! I am getting there and the baby is growing! It is REAL!
 



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## dextersmum

oh wow Kirstin that is some difference in size of bump in 4 weeks lol but it looks fab. Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl or are you waiting for the arrival to find out? The birth will be here before you know it to.


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## Krippy

We are waiting to find out Tracy! Just like we did with RJ! The suspense is starting to really build...I think it is a boy but I am not sure it is bc RJ was a boy. My DH thinks it is a girl for sure...so I guess we will see! :)


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## nicola ttc

Wow check out that bumpage!! Amazing difference in 4 weeks!
I'm off to Ireland for a wedding tonight til Saturday so might not get on much but hope they give you your induction date. :thumbup:
You're patient waiting to find out kristin! I want to know asap. I kind of hope this one is a girl for oh as we have 2 boys together but neither of us will care as long as it's healthy and we get to keep him/her for always. 
Tracy how are you doing? Are you feeling sick and exhausted yet?!


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## Baby Bell

Congratulations Tracey:hugs:


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## dextersmum

Hi Nicola

I am feeling sick and exhausted lol. nausea was one of the things I had the week before I tested which made me think I might be pregnant. That and the fact that my boobs are jumping out of my bra already lol and I have a little back ache. I haven't been sick but as soon as I walk up I feel sick. My accupuncturist said yesterday that if it continues to let him know and he moght be able to help but I said to be honest I don't mind feeling sick as it reminds me that I am pregnant and if I didn't have it I would be symptom spotting.
I have also been gagging a bit with different smells so am using that at the moment to make sure OH cleans up most of the dogs mess lol.

How are you doing Nicola?

going ot Ireland for a wedding will be fun although I have been told they are usually a 3-4 day drink fest which will be hard on you not drinking.

Kristin I am not sure if I could wait to find out the sex but we will see I am just so praying that this baby is coming home with us for always

its such a nerve wrecking time and it is hard to relax and just enjoy being pregnant when you know what we know don't you think. Any advice on how you have been doing this Kristin would be nice to hear


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## dextersmum

thank you Aileen x


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## nicksi27

Dextersmum - congratulations on your bfp. you hope you have a very H&H pregnancy. It sounds like you have an excellent plan in place this time round and im sure your little rainbow will be just fine :) Love your little pic of dexter, what a handsome little angel xx

Krippy - wowww what a difference four weeks has made. baby is definately enjoying his or her time in there. i cant believe you havent caved and found out the sex. I didnt didnt want to find out last time but this time i wont be able to stop myself! 

Hope everyone is having a good week. Is anybody else really not looking forward to telling people about their news? I just wish i could keep it a secret the entire time. Im scared to jinx it. Id talked about my pregnacy with jacob to everybody and everybody was so excited so when we lost him, i felt guilty like id built everyones hopes up and let them down. I know i shouldnt worry about it happening again because we've gotta be positive but its hard isnt it .... i think people are starting to guess tho because ive had a few stares at my belly


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## Krippy

dextersmum said:


> its such a nerve wrecking time and it is hard to relax and just enjoy being pregnant when you know what we know don't you think. Any advice on how you have been doing this Kristin would be nice to hear

It sounds silly but I find that in general that I am not much of a worrying about anything in regular life and like to think that some things are out of my control, so the first trimester and most of the second trimester I was pretty much ok as I knew if anything went wrong there wouldn't be anything that I could physically do. I made a conscious choice to enjoy this pregnancy and take back my pregnancy innocence if you may. What happened to all us was a different experience but it changed us, I embrance that change but I also will not let it rule how I run the rest of my life. Not that I didn't have any crazy thoughts or break downs I just tried to think and visualize positive outsomes. I find yoga and meditation work wonders for me. I also didn't tell anyone for a really long time so I think I didn't really feel pregnant or believe what was happening was real...Still can't believe that I am having a baby.

Now that I am in the third trimester I am starting to freak out a bit more...I don't sleep well as I go through scenarios that might occur with this baby and what I would do to stop it from happening, so that is what runs through my head all night long when I am not able to control it. This baby doesn't let my worry much as it is a constant mover where RJ was a sleepy baby and barely moved at all. I am not sure if that helps or not but...


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## Krippy

Aileen...How are you doing hun? Haven't seen you in a while...


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## dextersmum

thanks Kirstin I go to reiki and accupuncture which I find help me to relax and I have a meditation cd that I will have to start listening to. Due to my 3 mc's it is the 1st trimester that is most worrying for me. I am managing to sleep but am having some strange dreams lol. I will try some visualisation exercises as well


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## Krippy

I had a early trimester loss too Tracy...It is all so hard! Thinking of you hun and here for you if you need anything!

Saw my OB today and the think cramps are from stretching and pressure from the weight of the baby. Yep Dr. thinks that it is stretching and pressure from an extremely, his words, dense and rock hard baby. Because of this he is pretty sure I will have the c-section but we are keeping an open mind and wait for the next u/s. He is pretty sure, in his experience, that I will have another big baby! I really don't care anymore I just want this bubs to be here! December 5th is the day of my c-section!


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## Baby Bell

Hey Kristen, how's you? Iv not been writing much recently......exhausted from work. I'm suppose to have my last shift on the third but think il move it forward to Sunday. Once I'm finished il be back on here chatting away lol

I hope everyone is keeping well!
Love to all angels and bumps :hugs:


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## dextersmum

did you have a c section with RJ Kristin?


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## Krippy

I can't believe you are still working Aileen...You are super woman! GL keeping your energy up and can't wait to hear from you again! :) Glad to see you briefly pop in though!

I did not have a c-section with RJ but I had a very traumatic birth with his shoulders getting extremely stuck due to his size. He was 9 pounds 10 ounces but he was also very large, with broad shoulders and big hands and feet. So my OB does not want that to happen again and if this baby is measuring anything over 8 pounds then they are going to suggest a c-section which I am petrified of for some reason. I guess we will see what will happen at my next u/s in November...As long as this baby gets here I will be happy! :)


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## nicola ttc

Kristin - i've had 4 now and they're really not so bad i promise! Just as long as baby is here healthy and well, like you said, it really doesn't matter either way. :flower:
Tracy - i had early losses before Elliot too - every stage of this is just so difficult! Kristin i think you have the right idea thinking you are just going to try to enjoy the pregnancy! So hard to do and no way we can ever get back to that 'ignorant bliss' but definitely good to attempt!
Nicksi i forgot to say before, i'm feeling like that about telling people too. I did the whole fb posting scan pics and telling the world last time and you know what happened.... just doesn't feel right to tell people this time. I get the 'let people down' feeling hun, you didn't though. :hugs:
How are you doing today?
I'm in Ireland at a posh hotel for a friends wedding tomorrow....3days at an irish wedding and no alcohol for me..have a feeling i'll be on here quite a bit tomorrow! :rofl:


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## Krippy

Have fun spoiling yourself in Ireland Nicola! Have a great time...I love posh hotels. Have a big bubble bath for me!


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## dextersmum

Nicola what are you saying is your reason for not drinking?? I always find this the hardest thing although people are getting used to the fact that I don't drink that much and am my husbands taxi driver especially as we moved last year to an area where our family and friends don't live lol

the irish certainly know how to celebrate. I am not sure as the bride I could do a 3 day event though.

I am into thinks like reiki so I am reading a book called energy medicine for women which teaches you techniques to rebalance energies and there are also links to feeling more energised and positive so I am practicing them inbetween feeling sick and taking naps because I am absolutely knackered. There are ones that are meant to help with morning sickness so I am trying all of them as everday so far as soon as I wake up I feel sick, I have not actually been sick but just get nauseas lol

I had to have an emergency c section with Dexter kristin and like Nicola said it wasn't too bad at all especially if you know it is what is best for baby and you. My only bit of advice is that if you do have it and they give you a morphine drip that you press yourself for the pain, if you can don't use too much only press it when you are in pain. My friend had a section and pressed the button in case she got pain and basically lost 24 hours as she was so drugged up she couldn't do anything and it made her a bit loopy lol


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## amjon

Hi ladies! I get to join you now. Hopefully this bean will be sticky. I'm going to get the blood thinners next week. I'm 3 weeks 4 days now.


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## nicola ttc

Congratulations amjon! Great to see you here :thumbup:
Do you have a care plan set up other than your blood thinners?
Tracey - i did really well just passing the drinks i was poured over to nick and just drinking the water and no one noticed but nick had been drinking double so decided about midnight that he would announce it to his friends. :dohh: I was a bit annoyed as we haven't told parents yet but its ok. They are nicks work friends so i dont really see them.
I cant get away with not drinking with my friends as theyd know something was up :rofl: have just avoided going out so far except for one friends birthday who i ended up telling and with a b n b friend who hid it for me!!
How is everyone? I've come back from Ireland with a horrible cold. Luckily its half term here and my girls are in the lake district with their dad and his girlfriend so a week of no school runs and just me n the boys for me. :cloud9:


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## amjon

Thanks Nicola. That doctor is going to put me on Crinone (progesterone) for 12 weeks also. I think I'll have the regular monthly visits and weekly starting around 20 something weeks (lost Taylor at 27). I'll also be having weekly U/S at the end.


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## dextersmum

congratulations Amjon and welcome lets hope this time is our time:hugs:

Nicola you had a good plan but as Nick had to drink double I guess thats why he spilled the beans lol

Sorry to hear you have a cold.

I have been feeling pretty sickly over the last 4 days or so and have had to run to sinks and toilets and rush out of supermarkets to wretch. Not been sick as such but been feeling it. I had accupuncture today and he did something for the sickness so hopefully that will keep it at bay for now. I don't know why they call it morning sickness because mine has been all times of the day and night :dohh: But I tell you I would be/feel sick every day if it helps me bring this baby home.

Have a 6 week scan this week to check that everything is ok and then I will be given the heperin and progrestrone so fingers crossed for thursday. Although I am not looking forward to having to inject myself every day. Does any body else have to do this and have an suggestions on the best way to do it??


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## nicola ttc

Tracey what is heparin? I was on clexane injections when i was in hospital and at home and never once managed to do it myself so no advice from me i'm afraid!! I got Nick to do mine :blush:
What day is your scan? I'm still waiting for my 12 week scan date to come through. Should be for early December but feels so unreal at the moment i just want one now. I think it's because i dont have any continuous symptoms really. Just an aversion to red meat and tiredness but i'm so busy all the time that i think i'd be like this anyway!! Sounds odd but i'd love a bit of reassuring morning sickness :rofl:


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> congratulations Amjon and welcome lets hope this time is our time:hugs:
> 
> Nicola you had a good plan but as Nick had to drink double I guess thats why he spilled the beans lol
> 
> Sorry to hear you have a cold.
> 
> I have been feeling pretty sickly over the last 4 days or so and have had to run to sinks and toilets and rush out of supermarkets to wretch. Not been sick as such but been feeling it. I had accupuncture today and he did something for the sickness so hopefully that will keep it at bay for now. I don't know why they call it morning sickness because mine has been all times of the day and night :dohh: But I tell you I would be/feel sick every day if it helps me bring this baby home.
> 
> Have a 6 week scan this week to check that everything is ok and then I will be given the heperin and progrestrone so fingers crossed for thursday. Although I am not looking forward to having to inject myself every day. Does any body else have to do this and have an suggestions on the best way to do it??

I had my first shot today. The doctor stabbed it into my stomach and injected it. He's the one I don't trust, so I'm not 100% sure if that's the right way. I'm picking up the Crinone tomorrow. I picked up an OTC cream yesterday because I was afraid my temp was getting too low, so I'll use that until the pharmacy gets the other in. Why are they waiting to start you? I lost my 2nd at 6 weeks because I was only on the aspirin.


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## dextersmum

Hi Ladies

god I am so stressed and p**sed off today due the the incompetency of my local hospital who are meant to be looking after me and trying to help me in this pregnancy. Heparin is a blood thinner even though my tests came back clear this is a medication they give as a precaution (usually when they don't know what else to do - or thats how it feels) I have no idea why they are making me wait until 6 weeks Amjon but I just thought a plan was a plan and better than nothing at the time.

I phoned my consultants secretary 2 weeks ago as told by my consultant (even though she never sent me a copy of the letter outlining the the plan) to inform her I am pregnant and for her to arrange the viability 6 week scan and then arrange for me to get the medication I should then get if everything is ok. I thought that was all sorted when she verbally confirmed a scan at 8am on thursday 1st nov followed by an apt with the antenatal clinic at 12.50pm on the same day to get the medication. I thought it was stupid to have 2 seperate times at the same hospital but I wanted my husband at the scan so I kept the 2 appointments. I have had a phone call today to say that the 12.50pm apt also included a scan so they were cancelling my 8am scan. I firmly said that I was not happy with that as it wasn't convenient to be told 2 days before the apt that it was a later time my husband has to be free. I was informed the consultants secretary would have to phone me back and sort it out. And of course I got a call off somebody else as the secretary is on holiday (she is never available when you have an issue which is frustrating as she caused this issue). I ended up breaking down in tears on the phone and said a few swear words to the secretary that had called me and told her although I knew it wasn't her fault that his whole situation was a farce and that I was meant to be trying not to get stressed but everything they are doing is making me stressed when they are actually meant to be helping me. She was lovely and managed to sort everything out once they realised that the 12.50pm apt was a booking in apt which you should get at 12 weeks anyway and of course I will only be 6 weeks 2 days. Seriously they give me a care plan and when I asked the consultant at my apt if people would know it was in place and be able to help she looked at me like I was stupid and said of course. But I wasn't stupid after all and I have had to do all the chasing to get all of this sorted when really it should of been as simple as making 1 phone call and having it all done for me.

well now I have shared this I feel a lot better lol

The plan now is that I go on thursday for a scan at 8am and if everything is as it should be then I go to the antenatal clinic at 9am to see a doctor and get the medication followed by an apt with a midwife. I should then get scans every 2 weeks just to check how everything is progressing. Fingers crossed this is my time


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## dextersmum

amjon do you still take your temperature once you are pregnant?


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## nicksi27

dextersmum - its a joke that hospitals make you feel this way. I totally get your frustration. Its like you're treat like a number and not an actual patient. Our pregnancies are hard enough without getting totally stressed out about their incompentancy. Glad you have got your appointments sorted out tho :) I rang my consultants secretary to ask if i could be started on heparin as a precaution and she said absolutely no way. she said the only instance id be started on it is if i 'lost more babies'!! This comment made me want to scream and she didnt get a nice response to it! All my tests were negative too but ive demanded they're repeated in pregnancy even though my consultant said no. I dont feel like the hospital are on my side at all and its scary. Hopefully they will be great when you go for your appt and scan and you will feel reassured.


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> amjon do you still take your temperature once you are pregnant?

Yes I am for now. I'll stop in a few weeks.


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## dextersmum

its shocking isn't it nicki when all you want is some understanding and compassion and you are treated like a nuisance or just a number. I am keeping my fingers crossed for both of us and getting a nicer service from the NHS


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## Krippy

Nicola and Tracey...I am sorry that you were treated so horribly. It is really sad that they treat everyone this way, it is so frustrating! Luckily my hospital has been nothing but supportive.

So I just got home from an overnight at the hospital...threatened pre-term labour. Contractions have finally started to slow down and my cervix is still closed but I was kept overnight for observation. Got a shot to mature baby's lungs just in case but so far baby is staying put and is not engaged. Have to go back tonight to get the second shot...I am so exausted. Between my contractions and labour noises (lol) I had absolutely no sleep. Contractions started at 5 pm so went to hospital at 7pm. Had a bunch of tests, my FFN was negative. Got a little sleep from 11pm-2am but the contractions came back with horrible back pain that won't go away. I saw my ob and I am back on Friday for more tests, NST, and ultrasound I am quite tired and uncomfortable but baby is still doing great. Lots of movement, etc. Wondering if this bubs is going to stay put!

Hope you all are well! Keep your positive thoughts flowing ladies!


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## dextersmum

oh wow its all happening at your end Kristin. I hope you manage to get some sleep and rest today and the back pain subsides and baby stays put for another couple of weeks at least. Let us know how you get on at your apt on friday :hugs:


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## nicola ttc

Wow kristin you've had an eventful few days!! Hope things calm down now and baby stays put for a while. Its good the ffn test was negative - theyre usually quite accurate aren't they?
Those steroid shots are sooooooo painful aren't they?? Worst injections i've ever had - and i get them every time!! :dohh:
On the positive side, Alex was born at 34 +2 and was in scbu for a few days but is fine and Elliot was born at 35 weeks and breastfed straiggt away and had no special care so if baby does decide to make an appearance, the outlook is good!!:thumbup:
Tracey how are you feeling about your scan tomorrow? I wish i got an early one, i still don't really believe it!


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## nicola ttc

Wow kristin you've had an eventful few days!! Hope things calm down now and baby stays put for a while. Its good the ffn test was negative - theyre usually quite accurate aren't they?
Those steroid shots are sooooooo painful aren't they?? Worst injections i've ever had - and i get them every time!! :dohh:


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## Busymum11

Hi Ladies, my name is Tracy. I'm a mum to 10 children Bryce 25, Mason 22, Shelby 20, Connor 18, Austin 15, Trinity 11, Griffyn 9, Piper7, Isla 5, MC 2009, Willow 2 1/2, and 1 angle baby. Vallon was born at 26 weeks sleeping on 20th Feb 2012. We have always wanted a large family, Vallon will always be number 11. We are now pregnant with our rainbow baby due on 30th May.
I feel so blessed to be pregnant but very scared to. We had been trying for 5 months to fall pregnant & it happened at the end of August some of my friends think its strange about the timing, Vallon was due on 21st may. I like to think that someone upstairs is trying to take that pain away from those dates. Why would I fall almost exactly the same time after trying so hard for the previouse months. Scared beyond words, I've got my 1st OB appointment tomorrow, told my husband I'm not going to any visites without him. Lol the dating scan was hard enough when they said there's the little hart beet I lost it poor lady didn't know what to say.
Thanks for letting me let this out


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## nicola ttc

Welcome busy mum. Sorry for your loss of baby Vallon. :hugs: Its definitely a scary time but we're all here to get you through it too!
Wow you have a big family! I thought mine was big!! 
How many weeks are you now? Do you have a care plan set up for this pregnancy? X


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## Krippy

Welcome Tracy/BusyMom! We now have 2 Tracys and 2 Nicolas! Lol

I am sorry for the loss of your son! But congratulations on your rainbow!


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## dextersmum

Hi Tracy I am the other Tracy on this thread and we even spell our names the same way lol. Firstly I am so sorry for your loss but also congratulations on your current pregnancy and on your already large family. I take my hat off to you as it must be a full time job looking after 10 children :wacko::happydance:

I don't blame you wanting your husband at every apt with you and also being a little nervous this time around it is understandable but as Nicola has already said we are all here to support each other so any worries, doubts, concerns or anything to celebrate that please come and share them with us we are a lovely bunch honest :flower:


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## dextersmum

well ladies I have had my first scan to say and I was so scared that I had an upset stomach which proved a little difficult to keep the fluid in my bladder for the scan lol.

it was a positive day as the scan showed everything that it should do and measured 6 wks 2 days which is what I am and we saw the heartbeat which was such a relief because in my last pregnancy at this stage it didn't show all of this so I am really hopefully this is our time.:cloud9:

I also got my perscription for my progestrone pessaries and heparin injections and a male midwife showed me and my husband how to inject me. Can't say I am looking forward to doing that daily but it is a small price to pay if it helps me bring this baby home.

Kristin how are you doing has the back pain stopped is bubba staying put for now??

Nicola I have to go every two weeks for a scan to check on progression and as good as it sounds to have them this regular it is also a nerve wrecking time just hoping that everything is ok. I am sure everything will be great for you when you get to your 12 week apt :hugs:


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## Krippy

Congrats on the positive scan Tracy (Dextersmom). That is such great news...One mini milestone down hun! Shots don't sound fun but I am sure that you will get used to them soon and you are right def worth all the pain.

Thanks girls! Loving all the support. Bubs is still doing, moving and shaking in there! Back pain and contractions are gone...just a few cramps here and there but labour seems to have stopped. I do have a 2 day headache so far. Went to sleep with one and woke up with one...Going to give it the day of rest and lots of water and if it is still there going to have to call my Dr. as this happened to me last time. Blood pressure, etc. is fine so far but we will see I might just have that November baby...I have a feeling it is not going to wait until the week of December 3rd but I can be proven wrong easily! :)


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## nicksi27

Welcome to the group tracy/busymum - congratulations on your rainbow, this is a great group and everyone is here to support you :hugs:

Krippy - hope you're doing ok, getting lots of rest and bubba is going to stay right where he/she is for at least another few weeks. Not long now though eeeeeek how exciting :happydance:

dextersmum - congrats on the scan - so glad you got to see your LOs hb. this will be your time .... positive thinking all the way 

Hope you are all ok. Im ready for a few days off work, im so uncomfy sat in this too-tight uniform at my desk all day. Gained over half a stone so far - this is what id gained at 18/19 weeks with jacob!! Ive got my 12 week scan next week - im scared but ive been listening to baba's hb on my doppler which is reassuring. 

Have a lovely weekend ladies :flower:


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## nicola ttc

Morning ladies :wave:
I got my scan date through for 26th November so not toooo long to wait.....24 sleeps. 
Nicksi it definitely does seem that when pregnancies are close together, you do seem to expand a lot more quickly!! :rofl: 
Tracy so glad your scan went well.This is your time, your rainbow. I have a good feeling. :hugs:
How are.yougetting on with your injections? Nick had to inject me last time and i was dotted in bruises but its not so bad. If you rub the area in circles quite hard for a minute aftrr i found it didnt seem to hurt so much later :shrug:
Gosh, every post i write i seem to be saying 'me too'.....I hope i dont sound like one of those people who have done everything and have something to say about it just i've had a lot of pregnancies with a lot of complications and want to help if i can!! Tell me to shut up if you like. :thumbup:


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## Krippy

I was at the hospital again last night for a headache that started Wed at 12pm and more contractions. But they sent me home with both bc my bloodwork and bp were perfect they said. Thanks girls! Had another rough night! Got sent home with the contractions and horrific headache bc all of my blood work was fine, actually great they said. I know...trying to rest but this headache is really worrying me. Last time I had a headache like this during pregnancy they sent me home for 7-10days to see how I ended up bc nothing else was out of order. The headache finally went away the day my son died inside of me...I woke up this morning with the same headache and it has been there all night. I am going back to the hospitial for appts at 11:15am and I am not leaving until they find a solution for this headache or they let me have my baby. I know it is not ideal to have my baby this early but I can't not listen to my instincts this time around. I am so scared!


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## nicksi27

Krippy i would do the same ...i would say there was no way i was going home until you get some answers. They should understand your anxiety given your history and trust your instincts. I would demand to stay in as an inpatient until a decision is reached. Surely they cant just keep sending you home :/ Good luck for your appointment


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## nicola ttc

I agree Kristin. You know how you feel and if your instincts are telling you to get this baby out then thats what you have to demand!! Or that they admit you and monitor you regularly until theyare happy to deliver baby. This stress can't be helpful! :hugs:


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## amjon

Good luck Krippy


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## dextersmum

Nicola never think that you have to shut up your input is invaluable

The injections are ok the needle going in doesn't hurt there is just a little sting when the medication actually goes in but all quite bearable.

Kristin I hope either your headache has gone or you are now at the hospital demanding that they help you and the baby. Go with your gut instincts and do not leave until you get the help you want

please keep us posted if you can and I have every thing crossed for you and am sending you lots of positivity xx


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> Nicola never think that you have to shut up your input is invaluable
> 
> The injections are ok the needle going in doesn't hurt there is just a little sting when the medication actually goes in but all quite bearable.
> 
> Kristin I hope either your headache has gone or you are now at the hospital demanding that they help you and the baby. Go with your gut instincts and do not leave until you get the help you want
> 
> please keep us posted if you can and I have every thing crossed for you and am sending you lots of positivity xx

They haven't hurt me so far either until this morning. DH decided he didn't want to hurt me and would put the needle in slowly. I screamed and he had to pull it out. I told him do it quickly and then he pushed the medicine in quickly too. :dohh:


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## dextersmum

better to do it your self amjon then you can control the speed lol


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## dextersmum

Hi ladies I need a bit of advice if possible. Have any of you changed your consultant once you got pregnant and had already started your care plan?? I am really not impressed with my consultant and have not been happy with how she has treated me. I have had to chase letters she should have sent me such as my care plan and test results. When I went for 1 appointment she told me I shouldn't bother tracking my temperature and ovulation and she rolled her eyes at me and treated me like I was about 15. She told me that the hospital would be clear on my care plan once I contacted them when got BFP and it has been a right farce and I have had to push for everything she told me I should get. I am meeting with a community midwife on monday and I told her during a telephone chat on friday some of the issues I have had with the consultant and she said she is known for not having a very nice manner and has suggested I could change to another consultant but he might have a slightly different idea of my care plan?? what are your thoughts should I stay with the one I started with and grin and bear it or should I change to somebody who is meant to be a nicer person to deal with??


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> Hi ladies I need a bit of advice if possible. Have any of you changed your consultant once you got pregnant and had already started your care plan?? I am really not impressed with my consultant and have not been happy with how she has treated me. I have had to chase letters she should have sent me such as my care plan and test results. When I went for 1 appointment she told me I shouldn't bother tracking my temperature and ovulation and she rolled her eyes at me and treated me like I was about 15. She told me that the hospital would be clear on my care plan once I contacted them when got BFP and it has been a right farce and I have had to push for everything she told me I should get. I am meeting with a community midwife on monday and I told her during a telephone chat on friday some of the issues I have had with the consultant and she said she is known for not having a very nice manner and has suggested I could change to another consultant but he might have a slightly different idea of my care plan?? what are your thoughts should I stay with the one I started with and grin and bear it or should I change to somebody who is meant to be a nicer person to deal with??

I'm seriously considering changing because of one doctor that may be on call when I have an emergency. He already nearly killed our baby when he told me you don't need progesterone before 4 weeks (and the baby isn't attached to anything yet) and refused to call it in. :growlmad: Luckily GNC sells a cream OTC that worked enough to keep our LO in there until I could get the prescription one. He has no idea what he is doing and I don't want to take the chance he's the only one on call again (any of the others including the MW would be fine with me).


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## honoringevie

Hi ladies! I am new to this site, but was so happy to see this thread! Hubby & I lost our 9 day old daughter, Evelynn, on July 28, 2011, & they are still unsure what the problem was. Their best guess is a recessive Mitochondrial Disorder, which means we possibly have the 1:4 odds of this happening again. But, we decided to take a chance & I am now 16 weeks pregnant with our rainbow. It has been a stressful 16 weeks, but we are doing the best we can (as I'm sure you all can relate). Congrats to all of you on your soon-to-be rainbows & it is nice to find some others who understand this journey... :)

Jenn


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## Krippy

dextersmum said:


> Hi ladies I need a bit of advice if possible. Have any of you changed your consultant once you got pregnant and had already started your care plan?? I am really not impressed with my consultant and have not been happy with how she has treated me. I have had to chase letters she should have sent me such as my care plan and test results. When I went for 1 appointment she told me I shouldn't bother tracking my temperature and ovulation and she rolled her eyes at me and treated me like I was about 15. She told me that the hospital would be clear on my care plan once I contacted them when got BFP and it has been a right farce and I have had to push for everything she told me I should get. I am meeting with a community midwife on monday and I told her during a telephone chat on friday some of the issues I have had with the consultant and she said she is known for not having a very nice manner and has suggested I could change to another consultant but he might have a slightly different idea of my care plan?? what are your thoughts should I stay with the one I started with and grin and bear it or should I change to somebody who is meant to be a nicer person to deal with??

Tracy...I have been grinning and bearing it my whole pregnancy staying with the Dr. that I had with RJ and I actually just fired her today, 4 weeks before I give birth. I say go with you gut instincts...I ignored mine the whole pregnancy. She never listens to me or my concerns and keeps telling me that things are fine. She has always been extremely patronizing and condescending, luckily I also have an OB that has been taking care of me too and will continue my care until the baby is born and I will need to find another GP for my post natal and baby care. I would change now if you are already feeling uncomfortable.

Welcome Jenn...I am sorry for the loss of your little girl but so happy for you and your rainbow!


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## nicola ttc

Welcome Jenn, sorry for the loss of your little girl but congratulations on your rainbow. It really is a scary time!!
I have my 12 week scan on 26th November and am terrified! Not sure why as i've never had a bad scan - just have a horrible feeling. Hoping its just because of past experiences that i'm not letting myself get attached or letting myself think things might actually work out this time. :shrug:
Kristin i'm glad you went with your instinct and fired the dr. Its so important to be confident in your care , its an anxious enough time already!! Xx


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## dextersmum

ladies thanks for your advice. I have spoken to my community midwife and she has recommended another consultant who she said has a lovely manner. She agrees I should have been treated better and she is going to talk to the male consultant to see if he will take over my care. My apt with the community midwife didn't go to great as the computer records she has for me still showed my last pregnancy and told me I should be 25 weeks pregnant and she couldn't delete the record as somebody at the hospital should have done that when I had my mc in July. The midwife was so embarassed and could not apologise enough. I just had to laugh at this cockup and say "now you see what I am having to deal with"


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## dextersmum

Jenn welcome to the group. Sorry to hear about your loss hope this is your rainbow baby x


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## dextersmum

going to meet a new consultant on thursday 15th Nov after my next scan so hopefully I will have more success with him.

How is every body doing??


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## nicola ttc

Thats great Tracy, hopefully he'll be much better and you'll feel comfortable with your pregnancy in his hands. :thumbup:
Kristin, you've been quiet - isthat baby behaving in there?!?


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## Krippy

I am feeling much better. I am home now which feels soooo nice and will be making 3x a week trips to the hospital for tests which I am happy about. I have another ultrasound coming in a week and a half which is fun to see baby moving around. Last Friday it was chewing on its foot and I think I know what we are having but I am still keeping it a secret! lol

Sounds like with all of my pre-term contractions and headaches he will be inducing me at 38 weeks. Which means only 3 weeks give or take a few days and I get to attempt my vaginal birth. Pretty positive day yesterday. Bubs has been a rockstar with all of its NSTs and everything so I really haven't had a chance to worry about the baby yet which is great!

Thank you for all the of the support Ladies! Love having you all here!


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## dextersmum

Hi Ladies

I am having a bit of a rocky day today and thought it might help to write it down. I am feeling apprehensive and overwhelmed and am currently in tears. I have been having negative what if thoughts today that I can't stop. Not feeling the same symptoms today and am questioning if something is going wrong with this pregnancy. 

I am trying to get on with my life as normal as possible although I am not sure what normal is anymore because I know I am not who I was before losing Dexter and suffering mc's. I was talking to my family yesterday about organising what we are going to do at Christmas but today I don't even know if I am going to be strong enough to want to be with people at christmas and I have volunteered to have every body at our house on christmas night. 

My step daugthers baby is due at the end of this month and I just want him to arrive and so we can move on from her being pregnantand learn how to cope with having a step grand child when all I want is Dexter or my own baby in my arms. her and her boyfriend are coming over on sunday (he has never bothered coming to visit before so makes me think there is an alterior motive - just my suspicisious mind probably)

I am self employed and there have been some pretty big changes in my business over the last 6 months which means I have less work and less income coming in and on one hand that is fine as it is giving me time to be at home relaxing during the first trimester and looking after our puppy but I am also getting freaked out about it but I also don't feel in the right place to grow my business. I should be going to an exhibition today but in is nearly lunch time and I haven't made a move to go because I just don't have the motivation and I am also a little scared and I don't know why???

To top it all I ordered photo calenders of Dexter for christmas presents and they have just arrived which is what made me cry because I would so much rather have him here than be sharing him on photos :cry:

maybe these irrational thoughts and masses of emotions are the pregnancy symptoms that are showing up today. Think I need to lie down and take a nap.

Sorry this is such a rant just needed to share it to get it out of my head :wacko:

Does any body else get like this or is it just me :nope:


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## dextersmum

glad you are home now Kristin and things are progressing nicely x


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## nicola ttc

Oh Tracy its not just you at all.:hugs:
I'm not sure i've even really accepted i'm pregnant yet - either that or i'm not letting myself think things might be ok just in case they're not...self preservation and all that.:shrug:
I have all the 'what if's' in my mind constantly too - and i don't expect them to go away anytime soon. I haven't really had any symptoms at all for the last couple of weeks and keep thinking the worst, its so hard not to when you've had experience of these things happening isn't it?
The calenders are such a lovely idea - very sad to see when all you wish is for the real thing - but i'm sure they are beautiful and everyone you have got them for will really love them.
Sometimes the worry and emotion all build up too much for me too. I am fine for a while then have a mini meltdown. I think it's probably something all of us on this thread do?
I don't really know what to say about work - you are going through such a lot of emotions at the moment i imagine its hard to focus on anything extra. Try not to be too hard on yourself when you don't feel up to doing things and try to get them done when you are having strong days. Thats what i aim to do. Sorry i'm not much help.:flower:


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## nicola ttc

Kristin - glad to hear you are feeling better and baby girl is behaing herself:thumbup:
3 weeks!? thats so soon!! Exciting.:happydance:


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## dextersmum

nicola ttc said:


> Oh Tracy its not just you at all.:hugs:
> I'm not sure i've even really accepted i'm pregnant yet - either that or i'm not letting myself think things might be ok just in case they're not...self preservation and all that.:shrug:
> I have all the 'what if's' in my mind constantly too - and i don't expect them to go away anytime soon. I haven't really had any symptoms at all for the last couple of weeks and keep thinking the worst, its so hard not to when you've had experience of these things happening isn't it?
> The calenders are such a lovely idea - very sad to see when all you wish is for the real thing - but i'm sure they are beautiful and everyone you have got them for will really love them.
> Sometimes the worry and emotion all build up too much for me too. I am fine for a while then have a mini meltdown. I think it's probably something all of us on this thread do?
> I don't really know what to say about work - you are going through such a lot of emotions at the moment i imagine its hard to focus on anything extra. Try not to be too hard on yourself when you don't feel up to doing things and try to get them done when you are having strong days. Thats what i aim to do. Sorry i'm not much help.:flower:

Nicola your reply is more help than you think. Seriously if I hadn't lost babies having a day of not feeling sick after feeling sick for the last couple of weeks would be a god send but now it is just freaking me out. I just tried to explain to my husband what was going on for me today but I don't think men really get it because they are not going through all the hormone changes in their bodies. Thank you for your reply I am glad it is not just me that has the mini meltdowns :happydance:


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## Jox

Lots of love ladies x I can't wait to see each and everyone of u with ur rainbow babies x


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## nicksi27

Hi ladies are you all ok today? Ive had a bad few days - ive been ill with a cold and then just got myself into a total anxiety about this pregnancy for some reason. I got all these bad thoughts and cant really get rid of them. I tried to talk to my OH but he hates to talk about anything thats not positive and gets irritated with me.I had my 12 week scan yesterday and saw baby jumping all over. Measurements were on track etc which is great :) BUT as much as i love seeing the scans, it makes me love our baby even more then im filled with terror with the 'what ifs'. We told our family yesterday and i told my boss just now so its more 'real' now. My blood pressures been a bit high that last few days but im hoping thats because ive been under the weather. How do you keep your anxieties under control because ive lost control of mine a bit this week. gotta have a more positive attitude but its hard. :/


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## dextersmum

nicksi it is the hardest thing trying to keep positive and emotions under control isn't it. I am struggling with that too and I suppose sharing it on here helps me because like you say my oh doesn't always know what to say or understand what I am talking about. I suppose just recognise that there will be times when negative thoughts creep in but smile at the milestones you have already reached. Sending you a big hug.

How are the rest of you ladies? I am off to my weekly accupuncture session to get some relaxation lol


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## nicola ttc

Ooh have fun Tracy. I love acupuncture but haven't had it for years!

Nicksi i think it's normal to have those 'what if....' thoughts. I think we'd be more strange if we didn't but like Tracy says, we have to try to look at the positives and milestones so far and just hope and pray things work out!!
My oh really doesn't want to hear my worries either. I'm sure he has them too but while i don't mention them he can keep them hidden at the back of his mind for now. Well thats what i think he does anyway!!
Glad to hear the scan went well :thumbup:

I got my doppler on friday and have been listening to babys hb galloping away every day.:cloud9: 

How is everyone else getting on?


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## nicksi27

thanks dextersmum and nicola - im feeling better today :) Ive had high bp last week and at the weekend so my consultant is seeing me on thursday. Im wondering if its something to do with anxiety so im interested to see what he says. Its not high enough for medication but i had high BP when i lost jacob so i want it checking out. Im also thinking about having some counselling during this pregnancy. Theres a place near me who can offer counselling for women going through anxiety when pregnant so thought id give it a go. 

nicola glad you're impressed with your dopper, which one did you get? i got the sonoline and i love it. My OH doesnt like me using it but its just an extra reasurance isnt it :)


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## nicola ttc

I got the sonoline b one too. Yes, extra reassurance and a lovely sound!:thumbup:
Thats good that they offer a service like that near you - we don't have anything like it near us, i'd definitely give it a try. What harm can it do?:flower:


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## lch28

hi ladies. can i please join your thread??

I lost my daughter Sophia at 23 weeks in February 2012 from incompetent cervix. I am now 26 weeks pregnant with a little man. I have a cervical cerclage in (placed at 12 weeks) and i have been on bed rest since September 27th becuase my cervix shortened. I am a single mama to be, me and my fiancee split when i was 16 weeks pregnant. Its been a rough few months and I am constantly worried about pre term labor. Sometimes in other threads im in i feel if i share my worry it will make other ladies upset and worried about there own pregnancies and i would never want that!


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## nicola ttc

Of course you can join!
Sorry for the loss of your baby Sophia but congratulations on your rainbow.:hugs:
Poor you! Bed rest is hard work isn't it!? The days seem so long. Are you in hospital or at home?


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## lch28

thank you hun! i am sorry for your loss as well and so happy you are expecting your rainbow!

yes bed rest is hard but thankfully its not as strict as it was since I have past the gestation i was when i lost Sophia. at first I was only out of bed to go to the bathroom! I live with my mom and moved in with her after my ex and I split up. So I felt bad she had to do everything for me. She would have to make breakfast and lunch in the mornings before work and put it in a cooler next to my bed! I also feel guilty because she is supporting me basically financially. It worked out pretty bad, I got laid off, found a new job at 17 weeks pregnant,and 3 weeks later had to quit so didnt qualify for disablity or anything. Now thankfully since I am past 23 weeks (phew) I can make myself food, sit up in my recliner, even go out to dinner or the movies. If my cervix looks good in 2 weeks at my 28 week scan I may even be able to shop for the baby! lol. i have been very hesitant to buy things. FOB has boughten a lot and it always makes me feel weird, like i am getting ahead of myself.. :nope: do you think its normal to feel that way about purchasing baby items?


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## TatorMom

I'm so grateful for this thread! We recently lost our twin girls Grace and Paige at 22wks due to Chorioamniotitis. I've had 1st trimester m/c's and one at 16 weeks, but to get past 20wks and loose our perfectly healthy girls was something else entirely. It's not even something I can put into words. However, having our 2 boys gives us living proof and experience of what we have to gain, not just what we've lost, so we're trying again. We thought about waiting, but that's just not what's right for us. I'm nervous, but hopeful. Praying for a BFP sooner rather than later!

Congrats to everyone!


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## lch28

oh hun im so sorry for your loss. i also felt like once i passed 12 weeks everything was fine and i was in complete shock when I lost Sophia. I also decided to ttc straight away. I started in April after first AF and got my bfp in May! good luck <3


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## nicola ttc

Tatormum we'll keep everything crossed that you get your bfp and join us here very soon!
Ich i felt a lot like that last time, i didn't feel i could buy things 'just in case' :cry:
If it makes you feel happier to wait to buy things then do. This time is hard enough, we need to do what we can to get through it!!:flower:

I've been feeling a bit calmer lately. I don't know if it's the doppler reassuring me or what but not feeling that constant dread that i had been. I'm sure it'll appear again at some point but for today i'm feeling positive. :thumbup:
How is everyone today?
Kristin how are you? Haven't heard from you for a while! Any twinges??


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## nicksi27

lch28 said:


> hi ladies. can i please join your thread??
> 
> I lost my daughter Sophia at 23 weeks in February 2012 from incompetent cervix. I am now 26 weeks pregnant with a little man. I have a cervical cerclage in (placed at 12 weeks) and i have been on bed rest since September 27th becuase my cervix shortened. I am a single mama to be, me and my fiancee split when i was 16 weeks pregnant. Its been a rough few months and I am constantly worried about pre term labor. Sometimes in other threads im in i feel if i share my worry it will make other ladies upset and worried about there own pregnancies and i would never want that!

:happydance: So glad youve found this thread :hugs:


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## nicksi27

TatorMom welcome to the thread, im so sorry for the loss of your beautiful girls. i hope you get your BFP very soon :hugs:


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## lch28

I have felt better after passing 23 weeks when I went into labor last time. I do have some things but I am hesitant to decorate and stuff. Maybe I'll wait till I get my stitch out at 36 weeks lol. Glad u are feeling well today!


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## nicola ttc

Edward died of sids so i dont think i ever really had a time i felt 'safe' or 'ok' when i was pregnant with Emily. For some reason i never got anything set up at home or bought much - i kind of always had the feeling i wouldn't be bringing her home. That sounds awful but i did.I thought it was paranoia after losing Edward but now i wonder was it instinct? I feel different this time so am hoping that means this is a rainbow i get to keep!
Emily was born at 25 weeks but dont think i'll be relaxing any time before 35 weeks!!


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## lch28

oh hun im so sorry. i am going to read the stories of your angels after i post. i cant imagine what you have been through and i truly hope this is your forever rainbow baby. i think it could have been instinct. I know our situations are different but i never saw myself taking Sophia home either. I was always waiting for something to go wrong always checking for blood its lke i knew i would lose her.. im so sorry for your losses, and to have them back to back like that is just unimaginable . you sound like such a strong women. :hugs:


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## dextersmum

hello ladies and welcome to the new ladies

I feel like I have been MIA but for some reason I am not getting emails saying anything has been added to the thread??

Well I am 8 weeks pregnant today and am feeling ok. I still have my sickness and it is now like motion sickness so it comes on any time usually when I move or bend down or just even go up the stairs to the loo lol.

I have a scan on thursday to check on progress and my community midwife has set up for me to meet a new consultant to see if he will take over my care instead of staying with the lady that I don't like. I was debating moving as I didn't want to upset any one but then I thought hold on a minute she upsets me every time I see her and I don't feel comfortable in her presence and this is going to be a long road so I won't to see what the other consultant is like and if he agrees to look after me. I am full of bruises due to the daily injections but it is a small price to pay

I am not sure if I will get a doppler because I would be paranoid. Are they easy to use and do they pick up the heartbeat easily? at what stage did you start using yours Nicola? What did you buy it from?

Kristin how are you????

Amjon how are you getting on with your injections? have you done it yourself yet?


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> hello ladies and welcome to the new ladies
> 
> I feel like I have been MIA but for some reason I am not getting emails saying anything has been added to the thread??
> 
> Well I am 8 weeks pregnant today and am feeling ok. I still have my sickness and it is now like motion sickness so it comes on any time usually when I move or bend down or just even go up the stairs to the loo lol.
> 
> I have a scan on thursday to check on progress and my community midwife has set up for me to meet a new consultant to see if he will take over my care instead of staying with the lady that I don't like. I was debating moving as I didn't want to upset any one but then I thought hold on a minute she upsets me every time I see her and I don't feel comfortable in her presence and this is going to be a long road so I won't to see what the other consultant is like and if he agrees to look after me. I am full of bruises due to the daily injections but it is a small price to pay
> 
> I am not sure if I will get a doppler because I would be paranoid. Are they easy to use and do they pick up the heartbeat easily? at what stage did you start using yours Nicola? What did you buy it from?
> 
> Kristin how are you????
> 
> Amjon how are you getting on with your injections? have you done it yourself yet?

I still have to get someone else to do them. I seem to be bleeding and bruising more with them now. I go to a new OB tomorrow then the hematologist on Thursday.


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## dextersmum

what are your appointments for amjon? when will you have a scan?


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## sweetbuthyper

Hi all thought i would introduce myself i am Debbie and i have one angel baby called nathaniel that i lost at 23 weeks, unsure of reasons why was promised extra scans ect this time round but am yet to see any of that. 

I am currently 7wk 4days and have so far had 3 early pregnancy scans due to bleeding bean is fine and has a heart beat :) these were arrange by me calling EPAU and not by my consultant. 

I have my 12 week scan on the 18th December and hoping that i will get to see a consultant sometime soon as they are ment to be monitoring me for an incompitant cervix.


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> what are your appointments for amjon? when will you have a scan?

I don't trust the one doctor at the practice I was going to and am afraid if I ever had an emergency again and he was on call. He nearly killed our baby already. If GNC didn't have OTC progesterone cream I think he would have. (He told me progesterone doesn't matter before 4 weeks. The baby isn't attached to anything and is just floating around in there. This is AFTER I told him I had a BFP two days before and my temp was now dropping and to the point it usually is the day before AF. Plus, he told me before my BFP was from LH on a PREGNANCY test.) I'm going to a new one and I'll see how I like them. I just want to make sure I'm getting the correct dosage of the blood thinners and the hematologist in town has an anti-coagulant clinic, so I thought I would go and have them monitor me during pregnancy. I don't have a scan scheduled yet, but may let them do one in a couple of weeks. I know I'll do the 12 week for sure.


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## amjon

sweetbuthyper said:


> Hi all thought i would introduce myself i am Debbie and i have one angel baby called nathaniel that i lost at 23 weeks, unsure of reasons why was promised extra scans ect this time round but am yet to see any of that.
> 
> I am currently 7wk 4days and have so far had 3 early pregnancy scans due to bleeding bean is fine and has a heart beat :) these were arrange by me calling EPAU and not by my consultant.
> 
> I have my 12 week scan on the 18th December and hoping that i will get to see a consultant sometime soon as they are ment to be monitoring me for an incompitant cervix.

They told me I'd have extra scans, but they would start around 24 weeks, so they are probably thinking of later ones for you too.


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## lch28

are you ladies on progesterone supplements? i had low progesterone in the beginning, it was 8. I was sure I would Mc.. i was immediately put on vaginal suppositories and am convinced i would have MC if they did not give them to me.


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## amjon

lch28 said:


> are you ladies on progesterone supplements? i had low progesterone in the beginning, it was 8. I was sure I would Mc.. i was immediately put on vaginal suppositories and am convinced i would have MC if they did not give them to me.

I'm on them. The doctor discussed putting me on them before I was pregnant (from BFP). I think I did need it as my temp started to drop and was below CL and about where it is the day before AF. I called the emergency number and got Dr. Idiot who told me progesterone doesn't matter before 4 weeks because the baby isn't attached to anything and is just floating around down there (after I told him I had two days of BFP). Luckily I found an OTC cream at GNC until I could get in to see the sane doctor for the script. :thumbup:


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## Krippy

Welcome Debbie and our other newcomers, I know you from other threads!

I am doing ok Tracy...Thank you for asking! I am starting to feel overwhelmed with everything that has been going on in my life. Everything is great, baby is good, appts are going well, I have started to get my sugars under control with insulin...I just feel like there isn't enough of me to go around. Friends are wanting to see me, I have appts to get to, my husband and mom work a lot and I don't have a vehicle so getting around is sometime a challenge. I really just want this baby to be here! I have another ultrasound on Friday to check the size of the baby for the last time and hoping that it hasn't grown too much so that I can have my vaginal birth!

On a brighter note my brother and his wife had a healthy baby girl this morning...Makes me jealous that their little one is here safe and sound and I still have to wait 2 and half weeks but I think nesting is settling in and I just can't relax!

So excited for your scan tomorrow Tracy...I am sure you are ready to see your LO! I didn't get a doppler bc I was worried that if I didn't use it right or couldn't find the HB I would panic but that is just me. I know a lot of people who swear by their doppler and couldn't live without it. Do what feels right to you hun!


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## _Lexi_

Hey ladies. Sorry haven't been around for awhile. I'm now 9+1. Sickness/nausea for the most part has eased off, touch wood. Seeing as by 5 weeks with Joshua I was being sick 50+ times a day with hyperemesis, these first few weeks have been quite easy. 

Had the stress of moving house a few weeks ago, starting to settle in, but the oh was away all last week, all this week, and the week after :( he's coming back next Tuesday for my midwife appointment though. Hoping to then get a date for 12 week scan. I had a scan at 6weeks. Saw a tiny baby with a flicker of a heartbeat. They also saw a second sac, but they THINK it was just fluid/blood and going to check again on my next scan. 

We received results from all Joshua's genetic testing saying they don't think they'll ever find a cause, but think it was a very rare mitrochondrial disorder. They've said we have anywhere from a 25-100% chance of it happening again in all future pregnancies. 

Tracy, I bought an angelsounds doppler in my last pregnancy with Joshua. I picked his heartbeat up at 8+3. I stopped using it as soon as I felt his first kick as I trust my body to know when something's wrong more than a doppler. We only found out I had no fluid as I hadn't felt him move for 2 days, if I'd of relied on my doppler, I'd of found a strong heartbeat. I've tried finding this one, but can't get it yet. Going to leave it a few days and try again. It's still early to be picking it up at home, so I'm not too concerned. 

I know what you mean about instinct. From the very start I would wake up screaming/crying in the early hours saying the baby was going to die and wasn't coming home. Everyone told me I was being paranoid. I bought clothes, bottles and a steriliser. I refused to buy a pram, a moses basket, a cot, anything like that. Our spare room was still a junk room and hadn't been decorated for a baby. I knew all along he'd never make it, and new I couldn't cope with those things in the house. 

I too have been promised extra scans, and will be consultant led. My problems with low fluid, failing placenta, and Joshua's iugr only started after 20 weeks, so I imagine my extra appointments will start then. Just waiting to find out uf they want me to have another cvs at 13 weeks to compare with Joshua's results. 

Phew, that's my essay over with!! Hope all you ladies are doing ok :) xx


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## dextersmum

Kristin it sounds like you have a lot to do in a short space of time so don't do too much otherwise you won't have any energy for when the baby gets here. It is lovely news about your brother and his wife but I understand what you mean about being a little jealous that they have their little one here safe and well BUT I am sure your little one will be her safe and well before you know it and the 2 cousins can grow up together and have a play mate :happydance:

I am excited about my scan but as ever it is tinged with nervousness too but only to be expected as this is my 5th pregnancy in 2 years and I have had plenty of experience of scans but i am hopeful that everything will be ok.

Lexi it is lovely to see you on here. Does your husband work away a lot or is this a one off? I know it must be frustrating not having a specific reason for losing Joshua but I just hope that it is so rare that it never happens to you again and that this rainbow is here to stay and come home with you :hugs:

Amjon it is hard isn't it when you don't trust or like the GP or consultant. It makes things harder and a bit more stressful I think and you are doing the right thing trying to find somebody you like and trust. Is it too much to ask for the medical profession to care about us and what we want :dohh:

I am not sure if I will buy a doppler as think it might become an obsession of mine lol. I have already told my midwife that I will be a paranoid pregnant lady especially when I start to feel the baby moving as it was lack of movement with Dexter that told us there was a problem but I did leave it for a couple of days until my midwife apt before doing anything because I wasn't sure what Icould do or if I was imagining things but I tell you I will be on the phone to my midwife with the slightest concern and she has told me that is ok :thumbup:

I have just been to check on my puppy as I could hear him barking and when I found him I couldn't help laughing as he was in the conservatory behind the open door barking at 2 magpies that were on our garden. if you know the rhyme about magpies it is 2 for joy so that made me smile and then he did the same thing and I looked again and this time it was 3 magpies and it is 3 for a girl so more smiles. And I have never seen the magpies in my garden before just hope they are a lucky omen :winkwink:


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## lch28

amjon that dr sounds awful.. im so glad you were able to find some at GNC and that the other doc wrote you a prescription for it.. when I lost Sophia , I lost my mucus plug a week before labor. I called my doctors office to tell them and the nurse told me that "you cant lose a plug at 23 weeks" .... umm .. what?!?!? I also told her that Sophia hadn't moved in over a day, she said it didnt matter because i wasn't 28 weeks. She wasnt moving because she was breech in my birth canal, and I could only feel her kick in my lady parts. I told her I felt pressure and all these things and they just made me feel crazy. I was begging for an ultrasound or a cervical check. They refused to see me until I was bleeding 4 days later. By time i got checked i was 4cm dilated and it was too late. Needless to say I have a new doctor who i adore and any time i call him with ANY concern he gets me right in. I wonder every damn day what could have been if they had listened to me. Maybe i could have had a rescue cerclage.. but the what ifs dont bring her back, so i try to avoid those thoughts.. it just bothered me so much, when i was 4 cm, the doctor goes "oh my hun, your 4cm dilated, unfortunately we only do a cerclage if you are 3cm and below! you are going to have the baby" well, maybe if they had seen me evrey time i called the past week, or maybe had i not waited an hour in the waiting room, id qualify for the rescue stitch.. okay. rant over.. lol


krippy glad to hear about your little niece! totally understand the jealousy. your LO will be in your arms before you know it! :happydance: 

tracy i did not buy a doppler. I knew id be obsessed with it and would freak out if I couldnt find HB. before i felt movement it was hard to never have assurance that all was well, but now i am getting regular movements its much easier not to have a doppler!

lexi it must be so hard not to have an exact cause for what happened , Im so sorry about that. I hope you get the care you were promised !

dextersmum hope your scan is great hun. What kind of puppy do you have?


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## amjon

lch28 said:


> amjon that dr sounds awful.. im so glad you were able to find some at GNC and that the other doc wrote you a prescription for it.. when I lost Sophia , I lost my mucus plug a week before labor. I called my doctors office to tell them and the nurse told me that "you cant lose a plug at 23 weeks" .... umm .. what?!?!? I also told her that Sophia hadn't moved in over a day, she said it didnt matter because i wasn't 28 weeks. She wasnt moving because she was breech in my birth canal, and I could only feel her kick in my lady parts. I told her I felt pressure and all these things and they just made me feel crazy. I was begging for an ultrasound or a cervical check. They refused to see me until I was bleeding 4 days later. By time i got checked i was 4cm dilated and it was too late. Needless to say I have a new doctor who i adore and any time i call him with ANY concern he gets me right in. I wonder every damn day what could have been if they had listened to me. Maybe i could have had a rescue cerclage.. but the what ifs dont bring her back, so i try to avoid those thoughts.. it just bothered me so much, when i was 4 cm, the doctor goes "oh my hun, your 4cm dilated, unfortunately we only do a cerclage if you are 3cm and below! you are going to have the baby" well, maybe if they had seen me evrey time i called the past week, or maybe had i not waited an hour in the waiting room, id qualify for the rescue stitch.. okay. rant over.. lol

When I lost Taylor I was seeing a MW. When I called she told me she didn't think it was a problem that I hadn't felt her move in over a day because she was still little and could hide out in there. I was nearly 27 weeks. I decided to go to the hospital anyway and they couldn't find a heartbeat. The MW never even visited me once in the hospital (but still billed me for the whole pregnancy). 

I met my new OB today. She said I didn't need new bloods as I just had them in May. They did do a clean catch urine, so I guess they're looking for UTI. She referred me to the MFM and also was glad I'm going to the hematologist. They wanted to do an U/S today, but I told them I wanted to wait awhile. They'll probably do one at my next appointment when I'll be 10 weeks.


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## lch28

good call on waiting hun, i got an ultrasound at 6 weeks and they didn't see anything.. not even a sac.. i came back a week later and there was the baby with a beautiful hb. i regret that early scan because i felt sick to my stomach for a week. How rude of that MW.. I just hate when doctors try to make us feel like we are crazy and annoying. We know what is normal for our baby. Wish she had taken you more seriously. I am not sure if you posted this before but did you ever find out what happened? Was it a cord related? Sorry, hope you dont mind me asking hun :hugs:


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## amjon

lch28 said:


> good call on waiting hun, i got an ultrasound at 6 weeks and they didn't see anything.. not even a sac.. i came back a week later and there was the baby with a beautiful hb. i regret that early scan because i felt sick to my stomach for a week. How rude of that MW.. I just hate when doctors try to make us feel like we are crazy and annoying. We know what is normal for our baby. Wish she had taken you more seriously. I am not sure if you posted this before but did you ever find out what happened? Was it a cord related? Sorry, hope you dont mind me asking hun :hugs:

The cord was wrapped around her neck, but the U/S they did to confirm death showed VERY low fluid levels, so I was told that something else was probably going on. We will never know for sure what happened.


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## lch28

:hugs: Im sorry hun. It must be so hard to not know for sure.


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## dextersmum

hello ladies I am just back from my hospital apt and am pleased to confirm that scan went well. I am showing at 8 wks 5 days so have gained 3 days and the baby was kicking about and had a great herat beat rate so everything is good so far :happydance:

I had an antenatal apt afterwards and went to meet the new consultant and although I didn't get to meet him I met one of his team who was able to answer all of my questions and write out a very thorough care plan for me so I know exactly what is going on. :happydance:

I have 2 weekly scans upto 16 weeks for re-assurance then the normal scan at 20 weeks and growth scans at 24,28,32, and 36 weeks and will see my consultant again at 16 weeks, 20 weeks and I think following each growth scan. I am to stay on aspirin and heparin for rest of pregnancy, and stop the progesterone at 16 weeks. So I now feel fully informed and know what is happening and the dr said I should not be stressed as I am pregnant lol and I told her I won't be now I know the plan :thumbup:

Ich we have a weimaraner puppy and we have been told he is big for his age and will grow into a big dog lol

I am still feeling pretty sick at stupid times and usually when I move even just getting up from the couch so I am going to try some anti sickness travel bands to see if they help as a friend has recommended them to me :wacko:

hope every body else is well xx


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## nicola ttc

Tracy - so gld to hear the scan went well! And put you 3 days ahead!!:happydance::happydance:

The new consultant sounds fab - definitely a good move changing consultant teams, looks like you hve every reason to feel confident with the new team.:thumbup:


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## sweetbuthyper

hey ladies,

ok the fear set in yesterday, i saw beans heart beat last week, i'm now around 8 weeks and everythings fine bb hurt and sickness is horrendous but i can't shake the feeling that it will all be fine uptil the 21 week scan, we will get past it and start to feel safe and then i will go into labour again. :( 

finding it really hard to be happy bout being pregnant i love bean already and it is very much wanted i just would really like a fast forward button to get me through the next 7 months.


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## lch28

aww hun i felt the same pretty much until i passed 23 weeks (when I lost Sophia) I found that i really just had to take it one day at a time, one appointment at a time. I am just starting to buy things now. I felt like it would go on forevre but can honestly say it has flown by. Positive thoughts hun :hugs:


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## dextersmum

I wish I had a fast forward button for all of us as that would certainly help the stress levels but unfortunately we don't have it so I suppose it is just one day and one appointment at a time and I lot of hope (and sharing our feelings on here with other ladies who understand) :hugs:

AFM my sickness has gone to another level seems to be with the slightest movement. I was out holding a ladder for my husband today and I looked up to see what he was doing and had to open the bin lid so I could throw up seriously just from looking up lol and that was with wearing my anti sickness wristbands. Don't get me wrong I am not complaining it is just a bit embarassing standing outside your house throwing up in your bin :wacko: or having to carry a plastic bag in my car incase I feel sick by the time I have sat down


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## nicola ttc

Morning ladies. :wave:
Oh Tracy, poor you - although throwing up in bin outside your house while hubby is up a ladder watching did make me laugh, i'm sorry!!

1 week til scan day for me! Eeeek. So nervous and excited!
I've been using my doppler most days and can find baby within seconds usully. He/she must've moved up a bit too s i used to have to put it right on my scar line but now it's just above:happydance:.

I totally understand the feeling that things are going to go wrong at a certain point.. i think we all have our different stages we want to get past but as we don't have that much wanted time machine, we'll all just have to try to get each other through til one by one, we're all holding our rainbows!!

I'm going to do a due date list on the front page so we can tick each one off!!
If you can tell me your edd i'll add you!


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## lch28

my EDD is February 15th. I will most likely go earlier because my stitch is coming out at 36 weeks on Janruary 18th :thumbup:


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## dextersmum

I will let you know after my 12 week scan Nicola when they officially date me.

Kristin how are you doing chick??


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## Krippy

Doing ok...Time is slowly dragging by. I have been having lots of contractions and back pain all weekend and losing bits of my plug, which I know can mean nothing but I just can't wait for this baby to be here!

I am sooo happy for your positive scan news Tracy! How exciting to see that little HB just a beating away. So beautiful!

Can't wait to hear about your scan in 1 week too Nicola! So much exciting and positive news coming our way!


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## Baby Bell

Hi ladies , I can't believe ow much iv missed on this thread, I was posting when it first started but I must have unsubscribed by accident. I hope hope everyone is well :hugs:

Dextersmum congratulations :hugs: 

I'm going to take a wee while and read through what's been going on :thumbup:


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## dextersmum

ooohhh keep us posted on progress Kristin I am so excited to find out what you have. Have you chosen names yet??

what about the rest of you ladies will you find out the sex of your baby before you give birth and have you thought of names??


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> ooohhh keep us posted on progress Kristin I am so excited to find out what you have. Have you chosen names yet??
> 
> what about the rest of you ladies will you find out the sex of your baby before you give birth and have you thought of names??

We'll find out the sex as soon as we can. We already have 3 names picked out, one girl and two boys. I have a MFM appointment next Thursday. They wanted to make it for 11 weeks but I told them I wantedy Lovenox adjusted earlier. I'm thinking they'll probably do my first scan since I am in progesterone so we have no real idea what's going in in there. We'll try to get DH there but may not be able to. :(


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## dextersmum

lots going on for you Amjon hope everything goes well. Keep us posted.

Will you tell people the sex of your baby or keep it a secret? We told everybody last time and everybody knew his name before Dexter was born. Hubby wants to find out this time but I don't know if we will tell people. Although if I know not sure how I will be able to keep it a secret lol


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## _Lexi_

We found out last time but didn't tell anyone. We just said they couldn't give us an answer. This time I'm not sure. We don't have a lot of spare cash, so if it's another boy, we don't need to buy much, but if it's a girl, we do. Obviously the earlier we know, we can spread the cost, but I quite like the idea of a surprise!! Had my mw booking in appointment yesterday, should have my scan in the next 2-3 weeks. I hate scans as its where they find problems :( we don't have a point we'll feel safe after as we didn't know Joshua had any serious problems until he was 2 hours old :( x


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## lch28

I found out with Sophia at 12 weeks (early!) and with this guy 20 weeks. I couldnt imagine being surprised and give major props to anyone who can do that lol.


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## nicola ttc

Hi ladies :wave:
BabyBell good to see you back! Had to re-read your post. I thought you just said you were going to have a wee while you read through this...:rofl: would have needed to be a long wee!!:loo:

Lexi how many weeks are you now?

12 weeks tomorrow for me!!:happydance:

What is your actual due date Kristin? I need to add you before you give birth!!


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## Krippy

My exact due date is December 15th but I am thinking the way I am feeling this baby will be early...But trying not to get my hopes up! lol

Good to see you back Aileen! How are you feeling? I am crazy emotional and feeling generally anxious...Ready to meet my baby!

Tracy...we do have names picked out. Raif for a boy and Remi for a girl, but I am almost positive that it is a boy but I guess we will see!


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## Baby Bell

Thanks Nicola and Kristen! :flower:

Kristen, to be honest I'm a wreck! I panic every time baba doesn't move for a wee while. But just a week on Sunday until I go in for induction. I'm very lucky my hospital have been great and told me to come in any time I'm worried and they will do a ctg to keep my stress levels down. I hope your getting taken care of as well as I am. Not long and we will have our babas in our arms:hugs: 

Love both Raif and Remi gorgeous names.

Hope everyone and your rainbows are well :)


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## dextersmum

lovely names Kristin and you will soon know which one you will be using :winkwink:

Aileen not long now for you please keep us posted on your progress :hugs:

my step daugther's baby is due any time and I am quite apprehensive about it as I feel like she has been pregnant for so long that I just wish the baby would just get here now so that I know how I am going to behave and we can just get on with our lives and see where the baby fits. She is having a boy which is hard as it feels like I lost Dexter so there was space in the family for her baby (not sure if that makes sense to anybody else??) she asked this week if she could use Dexter for the baby's middle name. My husband thought this was a lovely idea and to be honest I got really upset and had to have a big chat with him as I really don't want anybody other than Dexter to have his name in our family especially not right now - again not sure if this will make sense to any of you but it is the way I am feeling right now.

We haven't really talked names yet there are a few I like and I believe it should be my turn to choose this time as hubby chose Dexters name :winkwink:


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## _Lexi_

I'm 10+2 now. Due date from lmp of 19th June. Weirdly Joshua's due date was 19th February. Something about that date I guess!! 

I know how you feel dextersmum, my brother and his partner ate expecting a baby in February (of all months) and found out they're having a boy. They're not using Joshua's name, but I'm terrified he'll end up being born in Joshua's birthday and that day will always be overlooked. Sounds selfish, but I just want it to be Joshua's special day. x


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## sweetbuthyper

Well i am 8 +6 weeks and due date from lmp is 28th june, day before nathaniel was born at 23 weeks.


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## dextersmum

amjon have you just been injecting into your stomach or have you tried legs and bottom? I have only done one in my leg and it hurt and bruised instantly and I still have the bruise nearly 3 weeks later so I have just stuck to my stomach but I really don't think I want to do my stomach as I start to get bigger so was just wondering where you have been injecting??


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## Krippy

Baby Bell said:


> Thanks Nicola and Kristen! :flower:
> 
> Kristen, to be honest I'm a wreck! I panic every time baba doesn't move for a wee while. But just a week on Sunday until I go in for induction. I'm very lucky my hospital have been great and told me to come in any time I'm worried and they will do a ctg to keep my stress levels down. I hope your getting taken care of as well as I am. Not long and we will have our babas in our arms:hugs:
> 
> Love both Raif and Remi gorgeous names.
> 
> Hope everyone and your rainbows are well :)

Oh Aileen...I know how you feel hun! I am in the hospital Mon, Wed, Fri for NSTs and hae been doing weekly ultrasounds. I don't know the exact date of my induction yet but my fluid has been low so I am hoping that they will induce me soon. I have been having lots of back pain and contractions but nothing comes of it. I am so exhausted, I just want this baby in my arms safe and sound. 

I can't wait to hear about your birth story and about you little Baba. I am so excited for you!


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## Krippy

Induction booked for November 30th! 1 more week! Eeeeeekkkk! It can not come soon enough! :)


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## Baby Bell

Thats so exciting!! Can't wait to see pics of RJs wee bro/sis! :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> amjon have you just been injecting into your stomach or have you tried legs and bottom? I have only done one in my leg and it hurt and bruised instantly and I still have the bruise nearly 3 weeks later so I have just stuck to my stomach but I really don't think I want to do my stomach as I start to get bigger so was just wondering where you have been injecting??

I've just done stomach so far. I think legs would hurt worse. I usually try for the side though that seems less painful and more away from the baby.


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## dextersmum

5 days to go Kristin


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## dextersmum

beem to a christmas momento event today run by the last hospital that Dexter was in and me and my mum made a bauble each for our christmas trees and I met some other local parents that have lost their babies and it was actually good to talk to them as sad as it was. Hope you have all had good weekends. Can't wait to find out the sex of your baby Kristin and keep us posted Aileen x


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## Krippy

Thanks Tracy! I am still in shock and won't believe it until I have this bubs in my arms. I am still in total disbelieve that we are having a baby in 5 days!


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## Baby Bell

Tracy these things are hard but can be nice at the same time. How is everyone coping with Christmas approaching? It our Eoins first birthday on the 20th of Dec then christmas is so close. I know it's always going to be hard. Iv bought Eoin 4 presents, not a lot and I feel so guilty cause he should be getting spoilt this year. But I also feel a bit crazy as well for buying them, iv even wrapped them in christmas paper and wrote tags on one from mummy and daddy and on the others from Santa. It makes me so sad, cause I know they will never be opened but I couldn't buy him nothing, he still my little boy. I got this LO the 4 presents too, because they gonna be so young they won't know,it's really just clothes and a toy for when a bitty older.
This week is so hard, I'm 36 weeks pregnant which I was when I lost Eoin, I'm trying to prepare for this LO coming next week, and to be honest my parents are doing my head in.......phoning constantly to see if I'm ok, if I don't answer straight away bombarded until they hear I'm ok. I know it cause they worried but it just adding o my stress. Sorry this has become a bit of a self pity rant.

I hope everyone and their Los are well. :hugs:


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## amjon

Has anyone else been having strange dreams? When I was pregnant with Taylor I dreamed she was born early (about 12 weeks) and I held onto her and the placenta was still attached. I'm now starting to get dreams about the baby's foot coming out and this morning I had one that the baby came out tiny (about the size it would be now at 7 weeks), but it was alive and I kept it alive somehow, but had trouble keeping track of it because it was too little.


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## lch28

in the beginning i had really scary and disturbing dreams, one terrible one that my baby turned into a doll in its crib :cry: that really freaked me out!


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## dextersmum

Aileen can you not tell your parents not to contact you daily because it is not helping you? it is a stressful time enough and I know parents care but sometimes you just need to be firm and tell them how it is for you. It must be a hard time for you reaching the 36 week mark another milestone to get through and I know you can do it :hugs: just take it 1 hour at a time. I have been looking at presents for Dexter but more things we can put in his garden or on the tree so we have a couple of different baubles.
Are you due to have your baby the same time as Kristin??

Amjon I had a weird dream at the weekend that I got a medical letter about this baby with lots of jargon that I couldn't understand and I was running round trying to find somebody to explain it to me and it was about their heart beat. Felt shattered when I woke up and had to tell hubby about it to get it out of my head :dohh:

I have been being sick a bit more over the last week and it makes me laugh that hubby just sits there and carries on doing what he is doing and the puppy follows me to see if I am ok lol

Nicola is your scan today?? let us know how it goes :hugs:

Kristin 4 days to go :happydance: the 30th is my step daughters due date so could be a busy day for babies being born


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## nicola ttc

Yes Tracy, scan day today! Eeeek. Nervous but excited.
4 days kristin! How exciting. :happydance:


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## Baby Bell

Amjon I think wired dreams are common in pregnancy just cause we worried all the time about our LOs, hope yours get better:hugs:

Nicola hope your scan goes well, and you get some good scan pics :hugs:

Thanks Tracy, iv tried to speak to them before but they just say they get worried when I don't answer.......which doesn't make sense cause the first people we told when we lost Eoin was my mum and dad, we turned up on their doorstep at 2am cause I couldn't face going home. I suppose that was their worse nightmare though is us turning up like that again and hearing their first grandchild has died. I dunno :shrug: I know it cause they care! 
We got a photo bauble of Eoin to put on the tree, have you seen them? We got one with a penguin (which we associate with Eoin), can't wait to put it up beside the star at the top. 
I'm going in on Sunday to be induced on Monday so my baby will probably be born a couple days after Kirstens :hugs:


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## dextersmum

update - step daughter has gone into labour early and is on her way to the hospital now she is 4 cm dilated already. I think I have psychic powers as 5 minutes before my husband called me I was debating whether to send Chloe a facebook message asking her if there was any sign of the baby making his appearance. I guess the new member of the family will be here today?? I just hope that my scan on thursday goes well


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## Krippy

Congrats on your step daughter going into labour! Wishing her and babe all the best!

GL for your scan on Thursday...Remember to have positive thoughts! It will be great Tracy!

Aileen...I know how you feel about everyone calling and asking how I am doing, etc. I haven't told anyone about my induction but I am still getting texts asking how I am feeling, doing, etc. I know people are excited but I want to have a peaceful week of good thoughts and positive envisionment and rest. We will see how that goes. I am not sure about the answer for your parents, maybe just explain to them how you are feeling and they probably will understand. I think everything kind of throws us off right now, as least that is how it is for me as I am extremely sensitive right now! Thinking of you hun!

Can't wait to hear all about your great scan Nicola! So exciting!


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## nicola ttc

https://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u620/nicolabird/20121126_121616_zps601d9677.jpg

Scan went well. Everything looks good, nt 1.9, measuring 2days ahead so 13 weeks today. :happydance:
Placenta isn't looking low lying or near scars at the moment so fingers crossed we won't have the same issues that caused Emily to need to be delivered so early.
How is everyone today?


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## sweetbuthyper

I have migraine today and i'm crampy, had tears yesterday for no logical reason just didn't feel all was ok but am feeling a little happier today, 3 weeks till i get to see bean again seems to be dragging so slowly, i think if i knew my cae plan i would feel better but i don't know whats happening other than when my next scan is.


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## nicola ttc

I know how you feel sweet!
Even with all my past obstetric problems, i don't have my first consultant appointment til 27th Dec when i'll be 17 weeks!
It makes me nervous that i don't know the plan for this time!!
Hope your migraine goes away quickly. :hugs:


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## dextersmum

wow Nicola your scan is so clear so glad everything went well.
Sweet I hope you find out your care plan at your next scan.

Nicola I am sure you will find out about your care plan at your next apt just make sure you keep asking them questions you want answers to 

my step daugther had her little boy at 3.59am yesterday and I went to see them last night at the hospital and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be which is a good start and I even had a cuddle and gave him a little feed.

Kristin are we on 2 days to go now??

Aileen how are you doing?

my 10 week scan tomorrow and as I have still felt sick today I am feeling confident


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## sweetbuthyper

Well after phoning the hospital because i wassick of waiting to hear something i found out they had put me down as a routine pregnancy! with not seeing the consultant til 20 weeks, spoke with the lovely ladyin medical records and explained that i was told i would get fortnightly scans after my miscarriage last year, i now have a morning scan appointment and an appointment with my consultant on the 18th december :), if she refuses to scan me regularly i will demand i'm moved to a consultant that will.


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## nicola ttc

Hi ladies. 
Sweet, i'm glad you got it sortrd out. I think you're right, we need to demand the things that will keep us sane!!
Tracy good luck for your scan today! What time is it? Looking forward to happy update later :hugs:


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## Krippy

Congrats on the great scan Nicola!

Good luck today Tracy! Thinking of you!


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## amjon

We had our scan this morning and its fraternal twins!


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## lch28

omg!! how exciting! congratulations :hugs:


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## dextersmum

congratulations Amjon 2 little babies growing inside you how exciting :happydance:

I had my scan today and it seems I have gained a week and am 11 weeks and 2 days so everything is progressing nicely :cloud9:. got a really clear photo and baby was waving at us. Sonographer said heart rate was as it should be so I am beginning to relax a little bit about this pregnancy. Have our dating scan on the 11th December so thats the next milestone. 

Kristin I hope you have got your bags packed ready for tomorrow and got some music to take in with you that helps you to relax. I hope everything goes well with the delivery and look forward to you telling us all about it as soon as you can and seeing a photo of your baby :hugs::baby:

Aileen sunday will here before you know it so I hope you are ready to hun. Good luck with everything come and tell us all about it when you can :hugs: :flower:


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## Krippy

Thank you Tracy! And congrats on the fabulous scan...One milestone down! Way to go!

I am slowly getting my bags packed but am still in disbelief that I will be holding my baby soon. It all seems so unreal. I will update as soon as I can! Thank you all for all of your love and support! I couldn't do this without you~


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## nicola ttc

Wow amjon, congratulations!! Twins! Very exciting. :happydance:

Tracy - so pleased the scan went well. I'm feeling a lot more relaxed since my scan too. :thumbup:

Kristin - thinking of you for tomorrow!
Aileen - thinking of you for Sunday!

Eeek how exciting! The first of our rainbow thread rainbows are going to be here in the next few days!:cloud9:


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## Krippy

Aileen...If I am not online when you do in for your induction just know I am thinking about you and Eoin's bro/sis! It will be amazing!


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## Baby Bell

Hey ladies how are you all?

Amjon congratulations! Twins that's brilliant news.

Tracy so happy your scn went well, with baba waving hi to his/her mummy:hugs: 

Kirsten I'm so excited for you for tomorrow! Can't wait to see pics and find out if baba a bro or sis for RJ :) Eoin and RJ I think are doing fantastic jobs as big brothers looking after their siblings so well :hugs:

I'm doing fine getting excited and nervous now!


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## Katie1980

Hi ladies, 

I really hope you don't mind me posting but I know lots of you from the loss boards and I just wanted to say congratulations to you all and you all have my love and hugs and prayers for your rainbows to be here safe and sound. 

Katie.
Xxxx


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## dextersmum

am so excited for Kristin I am not sure what the time difference is but I hope you have arrived safely at the hospital and are getting the best of treatment and that baby arrives safe and well very soon xx

Weather is not great here foggy and icy so I am safe and sound in the house being harassed by the puppy lol

How is every body else doing?


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## Krippy

It is 6am here and I am due at the hospital at 830am! I couldn't sleep anymore, was having crazy weird induction dreams! I will update as soon as I am able...I am vibrating with excitement! :)


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## dextersmum

good luck kristin give baby a big cuddle from me please and I am sending you a virtual hug xx


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## Krippy

Thanks you so much Tracy! And All of you! I don't think I am going to be able to let go of this baby once it gets here! Lots of baby wearing for me I think!


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## amjon

Hope you have a great delivery today Krippy!


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## Krippy

Well looks like I am still having a December baby. I have been in the hospital since 930am yesterday, my cervix was not favourable for my Dr. just to break my waters and start me on pitocin so they inserted cervadil which they will take out this morning and then re-evaluate where I am at. Fingers crossed the contractions and cramping I have had have done something down there because I am beyond anxious to meet my LO! Sorry I don't have any REALLY exciting news for you Ladies this morning! Might be another long and boring day but hopefully I will be in labour instead. I will keep you updated!


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## Baby Bell

:hugs: Kirsten


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## nicola ttc

Ah thinking of you Kristen. Hope everything goes well today :hugs:
You and Aileen may be having babies on the same day! 
Can't wait for your update!!


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## Krippy

Cervadil did absolutely nothing so now I am booked for a c-section sometime this afternoon. I will update when I can...getting soooo excited I don't even care that I am not having a vaginal birth! :)


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## Baby Bell

Can't wait for update! Find out if blue or pink bump :happydance: thinking of you Kirsten!


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## dextersmum

so excited Kristin hope your cervix is playing ball or you are relaxed about having a c-section by now :thumbup:

Aileen good luck for tomorrow :hugs:

AFM my sickness seems to be easing and I am not wretching as much which is great for me although my boobs are rather sorry and feel huge (although they were big to start :blush::wacko:) lol


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## amjon

Krippy said:


> Cervadil did absolutely nothing so now I am booked for a c-section sometime this afternoon. I will update when I can...getting soooo excited I don't even care that I am not having a vaginal birth! :)

It didn't do a thing for me either. They aren't trying Cytotec? GL


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## Krippy

Yellow bump turned BLUE, Raif Shaheed, born today via c-section at 426pm. 8 pounds 9 ounces and mom and baby are doing well! He is on some anti-biotics for some spots on his lungs but we had a good long cuddle before bed this evening before he went back to the nursery! We are beyond excited and totally in love!
 



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## Baby Bell

Omg omg omg congratulations Kristen, he is beautiful! You must be a very proud mummy. Glad to hear your doing well also:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

aFM I'm just about to jump into a shower then head to the hospital....il try to keep you guys updated but not sure if I get BnB on my phone (only use fb on my phone lol) but il let you all know when we home anyways. 

Love to you all:hugs:


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## Krippy

Good Luck Aileen! Thinking of you!


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## nicola ttc

Congratulations Kristin, he is so beautiful. Love his name too :hugs:
Good luck Aileen! Can't wait for your next update!! :hugs:


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## dextersmum

Kristin your baby boy is gorgeous I wished I lived close to you so I could come for a cuddle. Congratulations and well done. Take it easy after your c-section and look after yourself and Raif xx

did you think you saw a boy on your last scan??

Aileen good luck hun, can't wait to hear your news xx


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## _Lexi_

Congratulations kristin!! Beautiful boy and a lovely name. 

Good luck aileen!! xx


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## sweetbuthyper

Well i'm back off to EPAU on thursday (unless space becomes avalible tomorrow) had cramping for the last 3 days, paracetamol does nothing and i've been on antibiotics for uti so not that :( midwife says could be normal which i know it can but if i'm worried book in so i have. fingers crossed it doesn't get worse, don't fancy a trip to a&e. 

and fingers crossed bean is fine, i'm sure he/she is i'm just a worry head and there is no way i'd get through till the 18th without getting it checked. 

Hope everyone else is well.


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## Baby Bell

Quick update: yellow bump turned blue! Lewis jacob Owen Bell born 3.12.12 7lb3oz is beautiful and healthy. Will update properly when home from hospital xxxxx


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## amjon

Congrats on the new babies!


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## Krippy

I was just checking in to see if there was an update! 

Another boy!!!!! OMG!!!! I am so happy for you Aileen! Can't wait to hear all about it and see your beautiful boy!


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## nicola ttc

Congratulations Aileen! Another beautiful boy. Can't wait for pictures!!:hugs:


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## Jox

Congratulations on the new babies  x


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## ummuthman

Hi ladies, i haven't posted in a very long time. A bit of history. My husband and I got married on Aug 26, 2001. We tried for over 6 years and we fell pregnant with our beautiful baby boy Uthman in 2007 but unfortunately he was born sleeping at 39+4weeks on 24 June 2008. We were devastated. 5 months later i fell pregnant with our little girl Tahaani on 30 july 2009. I was induced but four days later had an emergency c-section, which really affected me afterwards. But she is now a healthy 3 year old.

I am now 13weeks pregnant with our 3rd baby, and have decided not to get induced but i'm really worried as i've never felt what it likes ti be in early stages of labour as i was induced both times.

I think it'll be nice to be in this group to help us all through.

My due date this time is 13 June


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## dextersmum

Aileen congratulations on your baby boy. I love his name please give Lewis a cuddle from me. I hope you are both well and now home.

Sweet - is everything ok??

Kristin how are you doing hunny? is it good to be home with your bundle of blue joy?

ummuthman - welcome to our lovely group. Sorry to hear about your baby boy. Congratulations on this latest pregnancy. I am with you on the being nervous about labour as I had to have an emergency section with my baby and was only 28 weeks so had now signs of labour and don't know what to expect but guess I will find out. Although I am waiting to find out at my 16 week meeting with my consultant if I will need to have another section as they are finding out how the previous hospital did it.

How is everybody else doing??

I ended up at the doctors on monday as I had an horrendous headache on sunday that made me dizzy and blurred vision and I had to pull over on the hard shoulder to let my husband drive as I couldn't see properly. Doctor thinks it was a migraine which I still had signs of on monday when I went. She did a urine sample to check protein levels and found that there was white blood cells and blood in my sample?? she sent it off to see if I have a UTI and I had to go back to the doctors today with another sample as the one I gave it was not clear if I have an infection?? so my doctor has given me antibiotics to be on the save side until we get the results on monday. I feel like I am rattling at the moment as I take aspirin and folic acid and now 3 antibiotics a day lol. I am not sure if the progestrone perssaries that I use 2 of each day could have caused an infection?? I can't wait for my 16 week milestone then I can stop using them.


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## sweetbuthyper

hi i'm fine, 
still crampy but bean is fine, had a scan to check today, so its just growing pain. To be honest not as happy as i should be having seen bean, the nurse really upset me telling me that too many scans could be dangerous and making me feel like i was wasting her time, so a bit bummed. 

that and we have family stuff going on thats stressing me out. All i have to say on that matter is teenagers are a pain and i'm starting to wish we never agreed to take my OH's brother in in the first place.


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## dextersmum

hi ladies its been a few days since anybody posted on here so I hope everybody is ok.

I had my dating scan today and we are now 13 weeks and 1 day the NT is 1.8 which is within the average measurement which although I know doesn't mean baby doesn't have ds it is a lot better than Dexter's NT measurement when we found out there was something wrong with him so I am taking it as a good sign I had the blood tests done for DS aswell so will wait to get the results.

Nicola my due date is 17th June 2013 so you can add me to the front page now please


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## amjon

Glad everything looked good on your NT scan. I'll be having mine in a couple of weeks for the twins. :) I went to the GD class today and had to stay after for the insulin instruction. They have me eating way more than I normally do, so I'll have to cut back on some of the things they have. I'd gain 60lbs if I followed their plan as written.


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## nicola ttc

Added Tracey :thumbup:
My nt was 1.8 this time too so lets take it as a really good sign. :hugs:
So, anyone got cravings?? I just want chip shop chips and korma sauce consttantly :dohh:
Amjon, i think i'm gonna be the size of an elephant by the end but lets not worry - we'll have a new diet thread once our angels have arrived safely :haha:
You'll soon lose it running around after twins!!
Hope everyone else is well.
Kristin and Aileen, hope you are enjoying lovely snuggles with your little men. Would love to see pics when you have the time!:hugs:


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## sweetbuthyper

I'm craving wotists is the only consistant one other things i crave for a few days throw them up and then can't go near them again. that said i really want mash potoato at the moment.

I'm suprised by my lack of craving this time last time it was anything tomotoe including ketchup on toast and snaps crisps that i made people hunt for because my local shop stopped selling them. 

I'm still loosing weight although i do have a bump developing my overall body weight is dropping. 

once the ms gets lost i plan on going back on slimmingworld to try to minimise gains but at the moment i can't stand fruit or veg.

Had a rough few days, a friend miscarried monday she didn't know she was pregnant till she started bleeding heavily she was 16 weeks so was very tramatic for her, being there as much as i can for her and explaining what the process is and what to expect and have sent her links to places i found useful but its hard as it brings back the memories and the fear, hope you are all well :) my next scan is on the 18th can't wait not having nt done i didn't last time and don't want it this time.


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## dextersmum

got my blood results back and chance of DS is 1:11,000 so am really pleased considering my history and age. This is not because we didn't want another baby with DS but because I know of the complications that can happen in the pregnancy and for the baby that I am pleased I don't have this to worry about this time.

my ms has eased off so not wretching as much and although I was never severely sick I have lost a bit of weight which is nothing to worry about as I am on the bigger side anyway and it is only a few pounds.

Nicola I am not sure I am craving anything and usually by tea time I am not particularly hungry which is unusual for me but as long as I am eating something even if it is jam on toast then that is ok isn't it?

I am looking forward to telling the rest of my family on christmas day that I am pregnant so that it is out in the open as I will be 15 weeks on christmas day :happydance:

Kristin and Aileen hope your baby boys are thriving and giving you lots of cuddles it would lovely to see photos if you have time :hugs:


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## _Lexi_

I had my scan on Thursday. Now 13+4. Nt measurement of 1.6, baby measured 70.mm. Got my combined results back yesterday of 1/242. My oh is really pleased with these, and so is my specialist, but I'm not. Joshua's nt was 3.8, and my result was 1/20, with such a low nt, I was expecting a much lower risk. I'm considering asking for a cvs anyway. I know they can't tell us if this baby has the same condition, as they don't know what to look for, but just think I might feel more reassured. They say greater than 1/150 is high risk. Just don't know what to do. So scared that something's going to go wrong I can't bond with this baby :( x


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## Baby Bell

Hey girls how are you all!

Tracy I bet your announcement will be the best christmas present for all your family:hugs: I look forward to hearing how excited the all are for you!

Lexi I know how hard it is to stay positive when you've known such tragedy, if a cvs will help ease your mind and help you bond with baba then it should be something tht you and your partner consider.......anything to reduce your stress levels. 

Sweetbuthyper I used to crave onion rings when pregnant with Eoin and Lewis, I would eat cheesy wotsits all day long anyway with out being pregnant:haha: I don't think I'm ever gonna loose this pregnancy weight!

My rainbow baby is 13 days old, he is breast feeding now like a pro. He also looks a bit like Eoin, but not overly similar which I'm happy about. Such a wee personality already. 
This week I think is going to be so difficult. It's a year tomorrow that Eoin stopped moving in my tummy:cry: and its Eoins first birthday on Thursday. :cry: I can't stop crying whenever I stop an think. I miss my wee angel so much and as much as I love Lewis and would never change him, having him here and watching his development is just making me realise how much iv lost with Eoin:cry:

Sorry I don't mean to be depressive especially when you are all going through such a hard difficult journey. But I love my wee rainbow and he also brings us such happiness I can't wait to hear about all your rainbow babies being born and being safe and well:hugs:

Here's my wee Lewis


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## Baby Bell

Pops here he is


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## Baby Bell

Lol ok this isn't working lol


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## dextersmum

Lexi if you had the cvs what would it be able to tell you and did they know from the nt score with Joshua what was wrong with him? It is such a hard time having all these tests and so wanting very clear results so that we know the same thing isn't going to happen to us again but your results are a lot better this time. The only reason I had the amnio with Dexter was because they said it could be 1 or 4 conditions that was showing as a swelling in his neck and head and 2 of those were not compatible with life. I know there is a risk with the cvs and amnio and I don't think I would have had it this time even if the nt or blood work had come back higher/lower but do what ever you have to do to help you feel more relaxed and connected to the baby in this pregnancy. 

I have visited my step grandson today and as I held him I was so wishing it was Dexter that I was holding and talking to and looking at but it obviously isn't and I can't help but feel jealous when I see my step daughter holding her little boy and bonding with him. But I guess I will just have to enjoy my cuddles and grit my teeth until my own baby arrives so as you can imagine I am hoping with everything I have that this is my time.

I was booked into have a scan at 16 weeks but the scan dept lost the slip I gave them from the consultant and as I haven't seen that consultant again nobody else knows why she said I should have it because it is not standard so I have to wait for the standard 20 week scan and that just feels like ages away considering I have been having a scan every 2 weeks since I was around 6 weeks pregnant. I have my next consultant meeting at the beginning if jan so if I am feeling apprehensive I will ask for a scan then and see what they say??

Nicola how are you getting on when is your next scan/apt what is the care plan they are putting you on??

Aileen I hope you work out how to put the photo of Lewis on soon I am really looking forward to seeing him.
Don't worry about being emotional about Eoin it is only natural. Just because you now have Lewis does not mean that you will stop missing Eoin or forget all about him and you have difficult milestones to get through. I just hope a little cuddle with Lewis makes it a little easier (if that is possible). And don't ever worry about needing to get things off your chest that is what we are all here for so sending you big hugs sweetheart don't forget your hormones are still all over the place and it is normal to be teary and you are allowed


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## Baby Bell

I hope this works
 



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## Baby Bell

Thank you Tracy :hugs: I hope they sort out the scan issue, obvious your consultant ordered the scan for a reason, I'm sure you've already thought of this but when I met my consultant he wrote the plan for scans, tests, induction etc in my notes so that when he wasn't there the spec regs etc knew what the plan was. Did your consultant maybe do this? 
It must be so hard having a step grandson, my cousin told me she was pregnant a couple of months after Eoin died.....even though I was happy for her, it was so hard to hear......I don't even know why! Even when I discovered I was pregnant myself I found it hard to talk to her about her pregnancy and when her baby was born, I said I would go visit.....but still haven't. Isn't that bizarre? I hope the cuddles get easier for you!


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## dextersmum

Aileen Lewis is absolute adorable. Such a cutie

I do have my care plan written in my notes but unfortunately it doesn't mention a 16 week scan but she definitely wrote me a slip for a 16 and 20 week scan followed by consultation so I will keep the consultation and ask for one when I get there if I feel I need one.


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## sweetbuthyper

Well i have my 12 week scan and consultant appointment tomorrow morning, i'm terrified i have no clue why, my bump is expanding daily, i'm still throwing up :( and i had a scan 10 days ago showing bean is fine, so i guess its just nerves. 

I am a little worried about the constultant appointment i had been put down as routine and had to ring the hospital and complain to get a consultant appointment, just hoping that she doesn't try to fob me off, scans to check my cervix in my opinion are a must, or i will go nuts at every twinge ( well more nuts that i'm going to be anyway). I also need an anethatist consult so have to get them to arrange that preferably before 28+ weeks when they scheduled it last time as i have a curve in my spine so they need to check it incase i need a spinal. 

Hope everyone is well, I'm hoping to try to eat soon but i feel so sick i'm currently avoiding it i don't have the energy to throw up yet today lol. 

fx for tomorrow and i will post with pics when i get back, appointment is at 11:10 and consultant doesn't do clinic in the afternoon so hoping they don't have major delays like they normally do, we need to go to town to get Nathaniels grave decorations for friday.


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## dextersmum

sweet I understand what you mean about being nervous I am the same just take each day at a time hun. So sorry you are feeling so sick. I am still wretching but not actually affecting my eating and I don't seem to be throwing much up. I was over the kitchen sink this morning dry wretching over the smell of burning toast lol.

Good luck with your scan tomorrow let us know how it goes x


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## nicola ttc

Hi ladies :wave:
Sorry i haven't been on here much, busy busy time of year!!
Aileen, Lewis is adorable. No matter how much you love him and are happy to have your rainbow baby it is natural that you will still grieve for Eoin. I know those first dates are so so difficult to get through - whether you have other children around you or not. Those feelings of sadness are normal and allowed!! :hugs: big hugs for the next few days :hugs:
Lexi i don't know really what to say. It must be so hard knowing the results are 'better' than with Joshua but still feeling so anxious. Its hard to know if the cvs would put your mind at ease any more than it is if they don't know what they are looking for. :shrug: Are you getting regular scans this pregnancy? Maybe you'll feel you start to bond when you start feeling movements. :hugs:
Sweetbuthyper i felt exactly the same! I even heard babys hb on my doppler daily and on the morning of scan but was still convinced they'd tell me something was wrong but here i still am and have started feeling baby movements!! I'm looking forward to your update saying all is well with a gorgeous pic of your bubby. :flower:
Tracy, i'm well thank you for asking just super busy at the moment with school plays and carol services and shopping and wrapping etc etc!! 
I'm sorry you're finding it hard being with your step grandson but should feel proud of yourself for being in that situation and getting through it! A lot of people would not have been strong enough to have cuddles! I'm proud of you and know you'll only get stronger with time :hugs:
Hope i haven't left anyone or anything out!!


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## sweetbuthyper

Well been for my scan all was good although bean was a wiggly monster and waving at the camera, until they asked me to pee to try to get him/her to move then bean just showed its ass and refused to budge, managed to get a picture tho :) 

saw the consultants under study person who didn't have a clue and hadn't ready my notes, however good news is i'm getting fortunightly scans on my cervix ( however starting at 16 weeks instead of 14 as 14 falls on new years day and the following week is fully booked, not impressed but not alot i can do apparently my consultant only has one clinc a week), 

fingers crossed 16 weeks should be early enough to catch anything going wrong i didn't loose nathaniel til 23 weeks so it should be. 

Mixed results on bloods i am apparently carrying the thalasemia trait but the hospital isn't concerned i am going to double check if anything needs to be done with my midwife on the 10th when i see her, as my partners grandmother is from malta. 

heres a pic of bean: 


measuring 12 + 2 but she got more than one date so i'm not changing my ticker
 



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## nicola ttc

so glad the scan went well sweet. :thumbup: xx


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## dextersmum

Nicola I bet it is really busy in your house I hope you are not getting too tired with all the things you have on

Sweet that is a great scan photo glad everything went well today. It is frustrating when you don't get to see the main consultant. I have been the same seem 2 understudies but 1 was better than the other although she did tell me not to get stressed because I am pregnant and when asked she promised everything was sorted and would be straight forward with my care plan that she wrote out but every time I have been to the hospital since or something is due on my plan I have had to ask for it and see so many different people that it makes me laugh hearing her in my head saying don't get stressed. If only it was that easy. She told me I could have a 16 wk scan but the scan dept have lost the slip I handed in and because it is not a standard scan and they don't know why she said to have it nobody else can book it for me because there has to be a reason?? so I will keep my consultants apt and if I feel like I need it then I will beg them whilst I am there at my 16 wk apt otherwise I have to wait until 20 wks for next scan which is the end of Jan and seems ages away.

what is the problem with your cervix?


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## sweetbuthyper

hi dextersmum, they are querying incompetant cervix, I went in to labour at 23 weeks and no reason was found so it is a possiblity so i was promised fortnightly scans from 14 weeks just to monitor my cervix incase it is incompetant, ( i had to inform the new consultant of this as they hadn't read my notes but they did agree to it without to much fuss) I have spoken to the girls on the IC threat in gestational complications and they have put my mind at ease that 16 weeks should be fine to have the first scan as any changes would usually start after that point as thats when baby starts to get heavy :) 

sorry to hear your consulants aren't much help either at least we know to push for what we need doing.


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## nicola ttc

Sweet i had fortnightly cervix scans last time too as my last 3 had been prem (even though i never believed it was because of ic as they were all emcs). My hospitals policy is to scan from 16 weeks as before that any measurements dont mean much as,like you said, it's when babys weight starts to put pressure on the cervix that any changes will be seen so try not to worry too much about missing one at 14 weeks. :flower:
Did you go to hospital with contractions with Nathaniel? Sorry for all the questions!


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## sweetbuthyper

no problems nicola: i had what i now know were contractions 2 days prior to giving birth to nathaniel but they were irregular and it was suspected that i may just have a water infection/ braxton hicks, woke up on the day of giving birth at 8:30 went to the toilet coughed and had blood everywhere after coughing, rang the hospital as i was bleeding and still cramping irregularly, by the time i got there 30 mins later i was fully dilated membranes bulging, contactions became regular after a few hours and my waters broke about and hour before i gave birth at 8:08 so all in i was in labour for under 12 hours. he was active right up to giving birth but was just too small to survive in the big wide world and was born still. 

there unsure as i said of the cause no infection was found, the fact it was so quick suggests that ic is a possiblity.


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## amjon

sweetbuthyper said:


> no problems nicola: i had what i now know were contractions 2 days prior to giving birth to nathaniel but they were irregular and it was suspected that i may just have a water infection/ braxton hicks, woke up on the day of giving birth at 8:30 went to the toilet coughed and had blood everywhere after coughing, rang the hospital as i was bleeding and still cramping irregularly, by the time i got there 30 mins later i was fully dilated membranes bulging, contactions became regular after a few hours and my waters broke about and hour before i gave birth at 8:08 so all in i was in labour for under 12 hours. he was active right up to giving birth but was just too small to survive in the big wide world and was born still.
> 
> there unsure as i said of the cause no infection was found, the fact it was so quick suggests that ic is a possiblity.

Have they not been measuring it all along? The MFM has measured me at every scan (and will continue to do so until at least 20 weeks). They don't think I'll have an issue (and didn't before with IC), but they want to make sure, especially since there are two babies to hold in.


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## sweetbuthyper

nope not been measured at all yet to my knowledge i had to phone the hospital and push to see the consultant today at all they had me down as not seeing them til 20 weeks! 
If i hadn't have asked to day they would have just seen me at 20 weeks and not measured before as well, apparently they don't usually monitor until more than one second trimester loss


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## Springflower

Knock knock. Mind if I join you all?

Tracy told me about this thread a while ago so have been stalking but not posting. But today I'm having a brave day so am jumping in! The brief version of my history is in my signature. I'm 21weeks expecting another little girl, due the same day as the girls were, 1 May.

This time we're booked at the hospital which saved I's life as I trust them and they know our history in case we have another early arrival. Cons has been great, lots of hand holding. I see him every 2 weeks for a TWS and tummy scan. He doubts I have IC but is going with the covering all bases approach which is helping me. I've been a complete mess and I think i'm still in denial that I'm pregnant, just desperate to get past 29ws and then past the day M passed away. 

Thanks for setting this thread up Nicola, I looked when I first discovered I was pregnant but there was anything so its great to see this hear now. 

Will post more later but gotta get started on breakfast now!

:kiss:


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## nicola ttc

Good to see you here Springflower:flower: There's a few of us here now! I looked for another thread too and couldn't find one. I'm so glad i started this one too - you're a lovely bunch :flower:
Sweet that does sound like ic is a definite possibility if no infection was found. If so, they'll catch any changes early this time so can do a cerclage or keep you on bed rest. I think you and i will both be as anxious as each other to get to that 24 week mark with no signs of any problems!! :hugs: Thanks for sharing nathaniels birth story. 
How are the rest of you ladies today? 
Lexi i've been thinking about you. How are things? Did you make a decision about the cvs? Sending some of these :hugs:
Kristin i hope you are well and enjoying your little blue bundle. Xx


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## nicola ttc

Spring i have added you to the first page, i hope thats ok? Nice to have someone due between Feb and June!! :laugh2:


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## sweetbuthyper

nicola can you change my date to the 30th june x


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## dextersmum

Springflower its lovely that you have joined us and nice to read your post. Don't worry most of us (if not all on this thread) are nervous wrecks about this pregnancy so you are in the right place lol.

I have had a bit of a melt down today because I have been at home most of the time since we got the puppy a lot of the responsibility seems to have fallen to me (or I have taken it on??) such as walking him, feeding him, teaching him how to behave and when not feeling sick clearing up his mess in the back garden. Today it all just got on top of me as I have some work to do for training I am delivering in january and am trying to work from home but Rio (the pup) likes attention and just would not settle down and was being naughty jumping on the couch, pinching the cushions or wanting outside every 2 minutes and bringing dirty things into the house from the garden so I was getting nothing done so I put him in his locked cage (which I feel guilty about) and then after an hour of working I decided to take him for a walk, which I don't mind as it gets me some exercise and fresh air but I am not sure I can continue to do it as I get more pregnant?? I hoped that would help him settle down but he was more hyper when we got back. My parents came round and I broke down crying saying I can't cope with the pup and I am sick of him being my responsibility (probably not the best thing to do bitching about my husband and lack of his help, even though he wanted the dog lol) feel so much better after my outburst and had a little sleep as the pup went to sleep when my parents left. My mum went out and finished clearing the dogs mess as I had tried but was stood in the garden wretching and had to give up. think it must be my hormones and I still feel pretty tired even though they say you get more energy in the 2nd tri I am still waiting for mine to kick in


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## dextersmum

just wondered what people were planning at christmas to remember their angels?

we have got baubles on the tree for Dexter, put some christmas ornaments in his garden and we are going to release a balloon on christmas day with some of my family and write little messages on tags for him and then send a lantern up in the evening.

I really think being pregnant at the moment it helping take some of the pain away from the fact that I don't have Dexter here for his first christmas - does that make sense to anybody else??


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## nicola ttc

sweetbuthyper said:


> nicola can you change my date to the 30th june x

Done :thumbup:


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## amjon

I got a surprise in the mail today. Taylor's bear from Molly Bears arrived today. It's perfect. It's a soft pink bear with purple bow and a purple airplane. :) It came in time for her first birthday too! (Dec. 29) The twins both looked great at our 10 week scan on Friday. We go back next Friday for the 12 week. DH will be here for a few weeks, so it will be nice to have him home. He's been to every scan at the MFM so far (and we still have plenty to go). She did set my delivery date at June 19 if they don't decide to come on their own before that.


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## Krippy

Doing really well...just tired and crazy busy with my newborn! I can't believe how fast the last few weeks have gone and how little time I have for myself! But I am loving every minute! I promise that I will take the time this weekend when my hubby is home to read all of the posts I have missed! Know that I think of you all daily...

Added a few pics of my little boy!
 



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## amjon

Krippy, so precious. :)


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## _Lexi_

Krippy, he's beautiful. 
Amjon, looks like we have the same due date, I'm due June 19th as well. 
The oh is still considering cvs, but we said we wouldn't terminate, so I don't see the point. No soft markers were detected. Joshua came back as 1/20, and that was a false positive. They can't run any tests to find out if this baby has the same condition as Joshua, as it's a brand new genetic condition and they aren't sure what to test for. I have my 20 week scan, then I'll be scanned at least every four weeks, checking fluid levels, as I had oligohydramnios, and checking for iugr, as well as blood flow through cord. They were all indicators last time that something wasn't right. We have at least a 50% chance this baby won't come home either, but trying to stay positive. I'm really struggling to bond though. I find that I can't get excited, as I don't really believe they'll be here to stay. I know it sounds stupid, but with Joshua, I knew he wasn't coming home. I kept having dreams that he died and that we had an empty nursery. To the point I didn't decorate a nursery or even buy a moses basket. I just knew. And I'm getting the same things this time :( everyone just keeps saying I'm being silly and everything will be ok, but that's what they said last time too :(

We went to the crematorium the other day and decorated Joshua's tree for Christmas. We've put up some solar powered fairy lights, a little Christmas poem, a wreath, a small Christmas tree, and a bauble that says 'my first Christmas'. I did buy him a reindeer too, but that broke :( 
https://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/ducksdontquack/88B7EBC4-0B56-4F0C-8106-83E1CC12CE6C-1681-000002DF7627B48B.jpg
https://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/ducksdontquack/CF67015A-3532-4915-A67C-F8ABA976288A-1681-000002E06424535E.jpg

I don't think I added my scan photo to my last post, but this is our little one at my 13 week scan
https://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/ducksdontquack/8DC22041-4C42-4F3B-84FD-43761AD8A4FA-739-000000DF311D8624.jpg

Sorry for the huge photos, on my phone and don't know how to do thumbnails :( hope everyone is doing ok. Think the next week is going to be hard on us all xx


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## dextersmum

Amjon are you having a planned c-section on the 19th June (unless the twins decided to come earlier??) as I have been given the 17th June as my due date but I am over 14 wks now.

Kristin don't worry about keeping up with our posts just concentrate on yourself and your beautiful baby boy he is adorable and we will all still be here when you have a bit more time to yourself.

Lexi it is hard not to worry and not to think the same thing is going to happen (although I am keeping everything crossed for you that everything is perfect this time for you and baby) especially as they don't know what to test for genetically. And I understand what you mean about not being able to bond. Even though we have been told we are at really low risk of a ds baby I still can't get that in my head and I will still be insisting we have a scan every 4 weeks from 20 weeks to check on growth and placenta because although last time with Dexter they linked it to his ds they can not be 100% sure.

AFM I am in big debates with hubby over names because we still haven't one any that we both like. I want a name with a meaning especially as this baby is our rainbow and we are also looking for names is an X in because we love Dexter's name and it is a bit unusual. I keep mentioning names and hubby pulls his face yest comes up with nothing except Alex for a boy (which I like but don't want as I know a number of Alex's, although not babies) and he has not come up with any girls names and I have a strong feeling that Jellybean is a baby girl but he wants another boy (but he will get what he is given lol) I actually like the name Lexi and Alexa but need to look up there meaning

How have you all decided on names??


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## sweetbuthyper

Well i feel sick, hate ms but oh well that and i got up with migraine ( i say got up i got as far as opening my eyes then refused to move and quickly shut them again), kippy but boy is just adorable :) 

I am feeling calmer this pregnancy don't know why or how to describe it i was so scared something would go wrong with nathaniel, and i was right but this time feels different, i dunno if its because i know i'm being monitored or because i know now what to look for, but definatly feeling calmer so far. 

We have a girls name it will be Gabrielle Eve but currently are undecided if its a boy we can't agree i like zander oh said it would have to be alexander and then shortened but i'm not keen as i don't like alex. currenlty considering Keith as a boys name i'm not sure but it has meaning as it was my OH's uncle who saddly passed away in 1992. 

I am activly trying to avoid the top 20 names, so still thinking for a boy. We had Danyael varient of daniel, when we were pregnant with nathaniel as a seconded boys name but that was to name after the ohs dad, and there relationship has since broken down alot and it just doesn't feel right, especially seen as i will only just allow his dad in our house after the way he spoke to me.


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> Amjon are you having a planned c-section on the 19th June (unless the twins decided to come earlier??) as I have been given the 17th June as my due date but I am over 14 wks now.

I'm hoping they cooperate and both get head down by then so I can be induced for vaginal. Otherwise it will be a planned section. We've decided on names for b/g twins. My DD is actually July 9, but they want them out by 37 weeks.


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## dextersmum

sounds like a plan amjon. are you going to find out the sex of the twins

whats every body else doing about finding out the sex are you going to wait for the surprise or try and find out?


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## _Lexi_

We're not sure yet. Last time I found out after cvs at 13 weeks, and oh didn't want to know. He gave in about 18 weeks though. This time, he wants to know and I'm not so sure. We can't really afford to buy everything at once, and need to spread the cost, soaked more sense to know, but I'd love a surprise!! x


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## sweetbuthyper

We want to find out, we didn't find out with nathaniel because he wouldn't sit still at his 20 week scan, so depends if bean cooperates or not. we have loads of gender neutral stuff so would be nice to buy stuff for one sex.


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## amjon

We'll find out the sex as soon as we can. The tech said maybe at 14 or 16 weeks, so hopefully they'll cooperate in 3 weeks. ;) I think it's one of each though.


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## nicola ttc

We're going to find out at the next scan which is 22nd Jan. We thought about getting a private one this wek but jan seems so soon anyway we decided not to. Can't wait to find out though!! I think it's a girl. 
Tracy, we have run out of names we both like! We wanted an 'E' name for Emily because of Edward. I quite like Edie or Evie for a girl but Nicks not convinced. Have no boy names at all yet! I like Oliver but Nick has a family friend called Oliver (who he has issues with) so refuses to even consider it. 
I'm feeling really god about this pregnancy, like its going to work out this time. I never had that feeling with Emilys pregnancy and didn't buy anything because i had such a bad feeling so it's nice this time to be enjoying pregnancy and actually thinking about bringing baby home. 
We've been to a remembrance service tonight and lit candles with our parents and all the kids which was nice. 
Anyway, how is everyone? I feel baby move now and love it! I'm slightly less obsessed with the doppler now!
Hope everyone is well. :hugs:


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## amjon

nicola ttc said:


> We're going to find out at the next scan which is 22nd Jan. We thought about getting a private one this wek but jan seems so soon anyway we decided not to. Can't wait to find out though!! I think it's a girl.
> Tracy, we have run out of names we both like! We wanted an 'E' name for Emily because of Edward. I quite like Edie or Evie for a girl but Nicks not convinced. Have no boy names at all yet! I like Oliver but Nick has a family friend called Oliver (who he has issues with) so refuses to even consider it.
> I'm feeling really god about this pregnancy, like its going to work out this time. I never had that feeling with Emilys pregnancy and didn't buy anything because i had such a bad feeling so it's nice this time to be enjoying pregnancy and actually thinking about bringing baby home.
> We've been to a remembrance service tonight and lit candles with our parents and all the kids which was nice.
> Anyway, how is everyone? I feel baby move now and love it! I'm slightly less obsessed with the doppler now!
> Hope everyone is well. :hugs:

That's good that you feel different this time. I've felt the twins (or one of them) move since about 9 weeks. I feel them sporadically and not everyday yet. Can't wait til it gets more regular. One week left til our NT scan. :)


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## dextersmum

its really good that you feel different this time Nicola and nice that you were able to take your children and parents to light candles for Edward and Emily.

I feel little bubbles and am sure it is the baby moving around and feels nice. Can't wait to feel the kicks though. We have our 20 week a couple of days after yours Nicola.

It sounds like we are all going to find out the sex before baby arrives if possible.

Amjon are twins in yours or hubby's family or is this a one off??

I am already for christmas now just got the clean the house tomorrow and get a few bits from the supermarket. We have everybody coming over here boxing day and I am going to be a bloody taxi driver picking hubby's family up from different places. I am glad christmas is only once a year because in-laws drive me mad with how bloody awkward they are lol wonder what they will say when we announce we are pregnant??


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> its really good that you feel different this time Nicola and nice that you were able to take your children and parents to light candles for Edward and Emily.
> 
> I feel little bubbles and am sure it is the baby moving around and feels nice. Can't wait to feel the kicks though. We have our 20 week a couple of days after yours Nicola.
> 
> It sounds like we are all going to find out the sex before baby arrives if possible.
> 
> Amjon are twins in yours or hubby's family or is this a one off??
> 
> I am already for christmas now just got the clean the house tomorrow and get a few bits from the supermarket. We have everybody coming over here boxing day and I am going to be a bloody taxi driver picking hubby's family up from different places. I am glad christmas is only once a year because in-laws drive me mad with how bloody awkward they are lol wonder what they will say when we announce we are pregnant??

No twins really in the family. The FS put me on Letrozole even that I did already O on my own plus I was just a few cycles from my MMC followed by a chemical so I think those increased the chance. I've always felt I would have b/g twins from the time I was a child though. Realistically I didn't think I really had any chance.


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## dextersmum

amjon I have said for years that I would love b/g twins so I hope your dream comes true and either way you are going to have 2 gorgeous babies in the summer.

Merry Christmas everybody hope you have a nice day tomorrow xx


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## nicola ttc

Merry Christmas everyone in case i don't get on here tomorrow. Xx


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## amjon

We had the twins NT today. :) They never asked about the blood test to go with the scan, so guess they go based just on the scan.
 



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## nicola ttc

Ah lovely scan pics Amjon. 
Going by nub theory (the little that i know about it)i'd say they look like b/g twins too!! 
I got my nt results back as 1 in 9700 which is brilliant considering just my age (35 in feb) put me at 1 in 400. 
We had consultant yesterday who made a plan for us. 4 weekly growth/placenta/cord flow scans and 4 weekly consultant appts between those so appts of some kind every 2 weeks from 20 weeks plus mw appts any time i feel i want/need one. Ig i'm worried about anything at any time i've been told to go straight to labour ward who will do checks as soon as possible. I'm pleased with that plan. And planned section around 14th May! 
Starting to think about names now too! No real contenders yet, anyone else got the name books out?!
Hope everyone is doing well and the christmas season is being gentle on you. Thinking of you all and your angels. :hugs:


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## dextersmum

lovely clear scan photo amjon did they tell you the NT measurements?

Nicola it sounds like you have been given a good plan now which is great and hopefully they will be as supportive as you need them to be.
we are still debating names and because we have now told the family we have even asked for suggestions but we have nothing confirmed yet lol

it went really well telling our families on christmas day and boxing day and people are over joyed and there were a few tears. I felt really anxious after telling people because now people now I am nervous that something might happen. It felt easier when it was just mine and OH secret. Not sure if that makes sence to anybody else??

Well its raining here and I feel like staying in and doing nothing all day lol am meant to be going out for a friends 40th birthday lunch but really don't know if I can be bothered so I will see how I feel in an hour. Hope everybody else has had a nice christmas break


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## amjon

Both babies had very small measurements (around 1.4). :)


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## dextersmum

thats great amjon. How often are you going to have scans and appointments?


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> thats great amjon. How often are you going to have scans and appointments?

Every 2 weeks :)


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## dextersmum

Nicola (and anybody else who is or has used one) what doppler are you using and where did you get it from??

Also I am getting a weird burning sensation in my boobs and into nipples is anybody else getting this??


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## nicola ttc

Tracy, mine is a sonoline b and i love it! I had a pink angelsounds last time which are much cheaper but it didnt show bpm and had to be used with the headphones. Also the probe was much bulkier and more tricky to position. Either works fine though in my experience. Mines from ana wiz which i think are the cheapest siuppliers and customer service are brilliant if you have any problems. A friend on here had one not working so sent it back, they called as soon as they recieved it to say it was the probe not working which reassured her as she hadnt heard baby and they sent a new one back recorded next day delivery so definitely a good company to use for buying things like that!
Just my opinion but hope it helps :shrug:


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## dextersmum

I will have a look online thanks Nicola. Do you rent yours Nicola?

How are you doing anyway??


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## Springflower

On my phone so will be quick. Tracy I have the same as Nicola and also rent mine from Anawiz. I rented on whilst I was pregnant with the girls and was so impressed with their customer service. Something went wrong and my card got declined at the same time I gave birth to the girls, they emailed me to chase payment and I explained the situation. They were really lovely and told me to take my time sending it back and nit to worry, so I knew this time I'd be renting from them again.

xxx


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## nicola ttc

I bought mine Tracy. I can always sell it on e-bay after lol - or pass it on to a pregnant friend. :thumbup:


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## dextersmum

I mentioned the doppler to my husband and asked him what he thought and he doesn't think it is a good idea as I will become obsessed with it and panick if I can't find the heart beat lol

Spring how are you hun? Have you chose a name for your baby yet?


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## Springflower

Ahh yes, my name is spring and I am obessed with my doopler! 

I love mine. It's been good this time as my placenta us in front so wasn't really feeling dot. In the last week though she's really started wriggling and it's lovely. I'm finally starting to believe there's a baby in here! I'll be 23ws in wens so getting there. Desperate to get to 24ws when she'll be viable although I really really want to keep her inside fir over 30ws. Seeing my cons on thurs for more hand holding and reassuring pats on my back!

I'm starting work on 7th Jan, 3 days a week. Am going to try and work as close as I can to my dd as if all is well I doubt I'll be back.

Tracy how are you doing withthe clexane? I'm doing some in my thighs now too, to try and give my tummy a break. Thudding it's easier though as I have more flab! With the girls it was a nightmare as I was pretty lean then and so worried I would prick one of them! 

Anyway in answer to your q, I think we may have a name but I'm not telling as I want a surprise! Also we haven't Defo decided but I want something soon as found it really stressful with the hospital when we had no names!

Hope everyone is doing ok. I'm so relieved 2012 is nearly over, praying 2013 is a good one!

xxx


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## dextersmum

I am doing ok with the injections Spring some days I don't feel a thing and other days it can take 2 or 3 attempts just to get the needle in and on the rare occassion it hurts when I push the liquid in but it is only for a few seconds and it is worth it. I have bruises on my stomach but they are much smaller than they were. I tried it in my thigh once at the beginning and it really hurt and I got a massive bruise and my thighs are big (and fat lol) so not sure if I will try that again unless my bump gets so big that I can't grab any fat lol.

I have stopped my progestrone today as the plan is to stop it at 16 weeks so I am glad that I no longer need to insert 2 pessaries a day although I do get a bit nervous when I have to stop any of the medication I started on. I have a consultants apt on thursday too so should find out if I can have a natural birth as they are checking with liverpool womens the type of c-section I had. I also hope I can get another scan sorted this week as I really don't want to wait until the 31st January as they lost my slip of the registrar asking for 16 week scan. Do you have a scan on thursday to??

How many weeks did you get to with the twins spring? I am so pleased that you are at 23 weeks already has that gone fast for you?

What work are you going back to? I think I remember you saying you do HR or training like myself? Don't forget me if your organisation are looking for some external help :thumbup:

good luck with your apt and going back to work :hugs:


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## Krippy

Miss you Ladies! With a newborn and lack of sleep I have not been able to post but I have been reading and keeping tabs on you! I am so happy that you all are doing well and your rainbows are growing strong!

I did not have a doppler for that same reason Tracy as I was scared to become obsessed with it but I was lucky and Raif was a big mover inside so I did not have to worry too much and with the amount of scans and NSTs I was quite confident but do what is right for you! I do not think obsession would be a bad thing and if you are worried about maybe limit your checks during each day!

Love and positive thoughts to you all! Congrats on 23 weeks Spring1 You will hit 30 before you know it!


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## Springflower

Krippy lovely to hear from you! Its so busy with a nb isnt it? Lovely though. Hope everything is going well and you aren't too tired.:hugs:

Tracy - I got to 29ws with the girls before going into spontaneous labour (that always makes me laugh though as I was having what I now know was contractions for 24 hrs before I gave birth. I also had a bloody show but still the hospital didn't believe I was in labour. Its harder to tell with twins. Although I'm not worried this time if the same thing happens as I'm at a different hospital and I know they'll listen. It hasnt really gone fast, its strange with my dates being exactly the same. I'm really focusing on 14 Feb which is when I gave birth before, I'm obsessed with getting past that!

Weirdly my right side seems better at taking the injections than the left?! both in my thigh and my tummy? I can't remember when I stop them, I think its somewhere around 30ws. Looking forward to stopping them! I'm due to restart the progesterone pessaries soon. Not looking forward to them again! I feel the same about stopping meds, its very scary! 

I'm lucky I'm seeing my consultant (and having scans) every 2 weeks. Am just seeing him and not the regs either which I'm pleased about. I would kick up a fuss and get another scan in. I lost all sense of dignity and just cry, then they seem to help. I really don't care though. I'll do anything to make myself more comfortable!

I run a graduate recruitment program for a US law firm. I used to do general but moved to recruitment as all I have did was discipline's and redundancies. It started to really get me down! 

I keep meaning to say your post about your puppy, I have been there with Indy. I really felt awful in 1st Tri. (Actually to 20ws) I sobbed all day and puked non stop. I had to get the grandparents to help because I really couldn't cope. I hope you are feeling better now. :hugs:

Right gotta go, I think Daddy needs help with our little lady.

:kiss:


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## amjon

Springflower said:
 

> Krippy lovely to hear from you! Its so busy with a nb isnt it? Lovely though. Hope everything is going well and you aren't too tired.:hugs:
> 
> Tracy - I got to 29ws with the girls before going into spontaneous labour (that always makes me laugh though as I was having what I now know was contractions for 24 hrs before I gave birth. I also had a bloody show but still the hospital didn't believe I was in labour. Its harder to tell with twins. Although I'm not worried this time if the same thing happens as I'm at a different hospital and I know they'll listen. It hasnt really gone fast, its strange with my dates being exactly the same. I'm really focusing on 14 Feb which is when I gave birth before, I'm obsessed with getting past that!
> 
> Weirdly my right side seems better at taking the injections than the left?! both in my thigh and my tummy? I can't remember when I stop them, I think its somewhere around 30ws. Looking forward to stopping them! I'm due to restart the progesterone pessaries soon. Not looking forward to them again! I feel the same about stopping meds, its very scary!
> 
> I'm lucky I'm seeing my consultant (and having scans) every 2 weeks. Am just seeing him and not the regs either which I'm pleased about. I would kick up a fuss and get another scan in. I lost all sense of dignity and just cry, then they seem to help. I really don't care though. I'll do anything to make myself more comfortable!
> 
> I run a graduate recruitment program for a US law firm. I used to do general but moved to recruitment as all I have did was discipline's and redundancies. It started to really get me down!
> 
> I keep meaning to say your post about your puppy, I have been there with Indy. I really felt awful in 1st Tri. (Actually to 20ws) I sobbed all day and puked non stop. I had to get the grandparents to help because I really couldn't cope. I hope you are feeling better now. :hugs:
> 
> Right gotta go, I think Daddy needs help with our little lady.
> 
> :kiss:

I get far worse bruises on my right side. The left seems to do better. I'm now doing 3 shots a day because I have insulin twice a day also. I still have to get someone else to give it to me and doubt that will change this pregnancy.


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## dextersmum

Happy new year ladies :flower: I hope 2013 is a happier, gentler year for us all :hugs:

Spring I have to take the fragmin until the end of my pregnancy.
How come you are starting the progesterone again? when did you stop taking it how many weeks were you?

well ladies I ended the year being a little sick and I hadn't even had a drink lol I think the ms is back?? Was driving home and felt sickly and as I was reversing down the path I had to stop the car and open the door to be sick and I felt rough this morning. I had to laugh because obviously no alcohol had passed my lips and anybody watching would have thought I had been drinking :dohh: my tiredness has also re-appeared although I am not sure if that is because I have had a few days of not working and my body doesn't know what is going on?? I thought the second trimester was meant to be full of energy and rosiness :shrug: I guess baby is just trying to remind me they are here.

I am not sure how I feel about being in 2013 because 2012 was both my best and worse year. Best because Dexter was born but worse because he was taken from me. 2012 was all about Dexter and I know I will never forget him it just feels weird to no longer be in his year. Does this make sense to anybody else?

Krippy it is lovely to hear from you I hope you are having some fun with your gorgeous baby boy. Still not sure what I am doing about a doppler I have put a bid on one on ebay but I don't want to pay a fortune for it. I have an apt this week with my consultant and hopefully a scan, I have an appt in 2 weeks with midwife so hopefully that will be when she listens to the heartbeat then I have a 20, 24,28,32,36 week scan so that might be enough for me but I will see :shrug:


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## nicola ttc

I know exactly what you mean Tracy! I burst into tears this morning feeling like that. Its like, i feel like i'm getting further away from my babies, or leaving them behind. Nothing we can do to change time moving forward..i guess it just feels more like that because its a new year?! 
Not a great explanation but what i'm trying to say is i feel it too chick. :hugs:


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## dextersmum

I am glad somebody else understands Nicola :hugs:

I am in pain today ladies my lower back is killing me. I have tried paracetamol, hot water bottle and a bath and it is still hurting. I am not sure if it is muscular or another UTI?? it is hurting to bend down or over or even try to get out of the chair but it also hurts when I need the toilet??? I have an appointment with my consultant tomorrow so they should check my urine so I will mention it to them. have any of you got any other ideas how to ease back pain

I am also hoping I can beg for another scan tomorrow so I don't have to wait until the end of january

Hope everybody else is ok and 2013 has been kind to you all so far :thumbup:


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## sweetbuthyper

Well i got my 14 week cervix scan after all after being taken to hospital by ambulence with bleeding, contractions, heart palpertationg, high blood pressure and rapid pluse, 
Good news is baby is fine got to see him/ her they grow so quick at this stage! and they even gave me free pics :) Will post later baby is laid in a very odd position but explains why i have been feeling movement higher than i expected to and feet are up above his/her belly, cervix looks nice and long apparently not sure of measurement but was nice and long, and no funelling despite worrys that my cervix was possibly slightly open all seems well. I feel fine now other than having a stinking cold and we are still none the wiser what the hell happened but we are now on track for more monitoring and i'm to go straight in/ contact them staight away if i have any worrys. 

hope you are all well. back pain wise, hot water bottle and warm bath are my only suggestions if hot isn't helping at all you could try cold. If it is a uti cranberry juice if you can stand it if not drink lots of water, if it hurts when your bladder is getting full try to go to the loo often instead of waiting till you feel you really need it.


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## dextersmum

sweet that is some way to get your 14 week scan a trip to hospital in an ambulance lol. Glad everything is ok with baby and cervix.

Thanks for advice on sore back. I went to bed at 9pm to rest and watch one born every minute and I have woken up and back feels a lot better so I have no idea what was wrong with it??

Off to my consultants appt at 10.20am so I will ask them to check my urine for signs of infection


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## dextersmum

had my consultants apt and heard baby's heart beat which was very reassuring but I asked for a reassurance scan and I am to phone up tomorrow to see if EPU can fit me in either tomorrow or monday so hopefully that will happen so I get to see jelly bean on the screen. 

I saw a different registrar and consultant and had the usual NHS issues like the receptionist said she didn't have my notes?? they are a massive big file so I don't know how they could misplace them, she suddenly found them, then I asked the registrar if I should have a regular blood count as on fragmin and she said no and then the consultant said to me you are having monthly bloods done aren't you!!! well I would if every body knew I was to do that and her own staff had told me I didn't need it. I have left a slip with the scan dept to book my 24,28,32 and 36 wk scans but I reqally don't trust them as they lost my 16 wk request so I will wait to see if they send me a letter!!

I have got really rosy cheeks today and my face is on fire. I have had this a few times has anybody else got this. I think it is called the pregnancy glow but seriously during my hospital apt my face looked like I had spent 3 hours under a sun lamp lol


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## dextersmum

its been very quiet on here the last couple of days where are you all ladies. I feel like I am writing a journal on here lol

I managed to get a scan on saturday morning and there was the baby wriggling about, face on at first until they moved for a side shot and we managed to get a photo although not the clearest as jellybean was still moving about. Measuring around 16 wks 2 days which was a couple of days out but nothing of concern. The sonographer was lovely I have seen her a couple of times for my earlier scans and she said baby looks very strong and didn't stop moving around lol.

I am going to try and put my scan photo on but I haven't tried to attach a photo before so not sure if I can do it. Oh and hubby took pic of scan upside down but hopefully you will understand it when you see it :happydance:

Still having problems with my back but don't know what is causing it as it is coming and going and my retching seems to have returned to???

How is everybody else doing?
 



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## nicola ttc

Here i am Tracy :wave: 
Been a busy weekend so not had much time to post. 
Kristin - lovely to hear from you.:hugs: we miss you too!!

Tracy - glad you got your 16 week scan :thumbup: and that everything looks good! Did you getany glimpses of boy/girl or did you avoid looking??
I can't wait for mine - 22nd Jan so 16 more sleeps.
Going to post this now before battery dies as it did yesterday when trying to reply on here. Will catch up with all i missed tomorrow. 
Hope you're all well ladies :flower:


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## amjon

Lovely scan photo! We have our 14 week scan next week. I'm hoping the babies cooperate and we'll know the sexes for sure. :) I've been having trouble sleeping, so quite worried about going back to work tomorrow. I'm thinking about asking the MFM to sign me off work. We'll see how this week goes.


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## sweetbuthyper

I'm still around have my midwife appointment this week hoping to hear the heartbeat :), i'm still really under the weather walking around makes me dizzy and i still have morning sickness :( that mixed with migraines due to lack of food has ment i've been bed bound quiet a lot recently, I was told to rest after being discharged from hospital tho so i guess its my bodys way of making me. 

amjon good luck for your 14 week scan i have a pic of ours its amazing how fast they grow, His/her position made the tech laugh legs are in the sky above its head :) heres bean 14 +3 weeks :
 



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## Xlaura_BellaX

can i join too 

im laura and 24 have a daughter Bella and 5 months ago we lost our son Milo at 36 weeks, there was no reason for his death :( im also diabetic

i knew soon after i wanted to try and am very cautiously pregnant nearly 10 weeks :) have my first scan Wednesday, i also have had 3 early losses so feeling quite anxious.

xxx


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## nicola ttc

Welcome Laura. 
So sorry for your loss of Milo. Do you know what the care plan will be this time round? Hopefully they'll do lots of extra scans and checks to help reassure you but we're all here too! Sadly, on this thread we all know the pain of losing a child, some ladies have also like you had early m/c and we all know how worrying a new pregnancy is. Here to hold your hand chick. :hugs:
Good luck for your scan on wednesday!
How are you feeling so far! Apart from all the worry, first tri is draining isn't it!?


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## Xlaura_BellaX

nicola ttc said:


> Welcome Laura.
> So sorry for your loss of Milo. Do you know what the care plan will be this time round? Hopefully they'll do lots of extra scans and checks to help reassure you but we're all here too! Sadly, on this thread we all know the pain of losing a child, some ladies have also like you had early m/c and we all know how worrying a new pregnancy is. Here to hold your hand chick. :hugs:
> Good luck for your scan on wednesday!
> How are you feeling so far! Apart from all the worry, first tri is draining isn't it!?

my care wont be too much different as im diabetic i get extra scans ect anyway, i will be given a course fo steroids in case baby has to be delivered early though :) 

thank you x


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## nicola ttc

I have to have the steroids too as my last 4 have been preemies. I think it's the most painful injection i've ever had!! (But happily have them if it helps)

How is everyone today? Everyone's gone quiet when i finally get time to chat :dohh: you must all be back at work while my kids are back to school so just Alex home today. 
Who has a scan next? Laura, yours tomorrow then i have one on the 22nd. Amjon, what day is yours this week? Anyone else?
Ich, how are you? Not long to go now!!


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## sweetbuthyper

I have a scan on my cervix, hoping to see baby as well on the 15th Jan, should have one 2 weeks after that and then my 20 week scan is on the 12th Feb.


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## nicola ttc

Ooh lots coming up for you then sweet!
Are you feeling any better now?


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## sweetbuthyper

My cold has just about gone so feeling less drained, i still have morning sickness but it appears to have moved to every few days which is better than daily, i am achy today down one leg hoping it eases as the day goes on. had a bath yesterday and bean was gave me a few kicks when i poured water on my belly :) stil really faint movement and have to concentrate to feel it that and i keep doubting it but everytime i doubt its bean i get one a little stronger that can't be anything else so all is good. Still weak walking around due to dizziness but doubt thats going to change for a while, and isn't so bad really a good excuse to sit and rest :) and my bodys way of making me rest i guess seen as i was told to rest by the hospital.


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## amjon

nicola ttc said:


> I have to have the steroids too as my last 4 have been preemies. I think it's the most painful injection i've ever had!! (But happily have them if it helps)
> 
> How is everyone today? Everyone's gone quiet when i finally get time to chat :dohh: you must all be back at work while my kids are back to school so just Alex home today.
> Who has a scan next? Laura, yours tomorrow then i have one on the 22nd. Amjon, what day is yours this week? Anyone else?
> Ich, how are you? Not long to go now!!

The MFM is Thursday. I'm not sure if the regular OB will do another quick one tomorrow though.


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## dextersmum

hi ladies

sorry been mia I have been to london for a business meeting and didn't take my laptop. But I am safe and sound back up north now lol.

I dont know about feeling more energised in 2nd trimester I feel shattered most of the time and of course my sleep every night is interupted by needing to get up for a wee lol. I am still having problems with a sore back and it feels muscular but nothing much is helping it. An older lady told me yesterday that there is a saying that you carry girls at the back and boys at the front so maybe this one is a girl as my back was not sore like this when carrying Dexter??. Which I feel quite strongly that jelly bean is a girl so will hopefully find out for sure at 20 wk scan 31st Jan.

I have a bit of work on over the next couple of weeks so hopefully that will make January pass by quite quickly. It is Dexter's 1st birthday on the 20th January so that is another milestone I need to get through and I need to think about what I can do to celebrate it and not just feel sad that he is not here - so if you have any ideas let me know.

I have my midwife apt on the 14th jan so will hopefully get to hear the heart beat as I still haven't bought a doppler and am not sure I am going to now??

sweet your scan is so funny.

amjon have you be signed off work?

spring how are you chick?


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## sweetbuthyper

dextersmum for nathaniels first birthday we got him pressents and took them up to his grave made me feel a little better. 

I have the midwife tomorrow fx i will get to hear beans heartbeat, i also don't have a dopplar and don't intend on getting one i do have a parent listening system tho so can listen from 28 weeks i think it is. 

i'm also hoping that january passes quickly as my 20 week scan isn't until 12th feb. infact i would rather like it to me april already so i am passed the point i lost nathaniel and passed vday but i guess i will have to be patient.


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> hi ladies
> 
> sorry been mia I have been to london for a business meeting and didn't take my laptop. But I am safe and sound back up north now lol.
> 
> I dont know about feeling more energised in 2nd trimester I feel shattered most of the time and of course my sleep every night is interupted by needing to get up for a wee lol. I am still having problems with a sore back and it feels muscular but nothing much is helping it. An older lady told me yesterday that there is a saying that you carry girls at the back and boys at the front so maybe this one is a girl as my back was not sore like this when carrying Dexter??. Which I feel quite strongly that jelly bean is a girl so will hopefully find out for sure at 20 wk scan 31st Jan.
> 
> I have a bit of work on over the next couple of weeks so hopefully that will make January pass by quite quickly. It is Dexter's 1st birthday on the 20th January so that is another milestone I need to get through and I need to think about what I can do to celebrate it and not just feel sad that he is not here - so if you have any ideas let me know.
> 
> I have my midwife apt on the 14th jan so will hopefully get to hear the heart beat as I still haven't bought a doppler and am not sure I am going to now??
> 
> sweet your scan is so funny.
> 
> amjon have you be signed off work?
> 
> spring how are you chick?

Not yet. Hopefully they'll sign me off soon. I went to the regular OB today. She couldn't find either HB, so grabbed the U/S and both were doing fine (one was asleep, but HB was there; one she didn't find the HB, but then it moved, so we knew everything was fine). We go to the MFM for the real U/S tomorrow and hopefully find out the sexes.


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## _Lexi_

Hey ladies. I've also got my 20 week scan on the 31st jan, then Joshua's 1st birthday on 6th february followed by his angelversary on 7th. We still haven't announced to many of our friends yet that I'm pregnant. Don't really know how to. The longer we leave it the more awkward it gets. Oh felt his first proper kick last Friday, I'm feeling them wriggle most days, more so when I first get into bed, and my cat is starting to meow and look uzzled when he gets kicked gently whilst lying on my bump!! x


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## dextersmum

Lexi are you not showing yet? are you going to try and find out the sex on the 31st at your scan?

I am not feeling strong kicks yet just bubbles. I got a bit freaked today as I hadn't felt anything for a while but then I felt them so relaxed a little bit. I can't wait to feel a proper kick and for hubby to feel it to.

Nicola have you and OH agreed on names yet?

Spring how are you doing hun?


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## sweetbuthyper

Midwife went well, heart the heartbeat she managed to find it straight away :). weight is fine infact ive lost around 5lb since getting pregnant, got given drop in times incase i just want to listen in before 25 weeks, felt my first strong kick today as well rather than butterflys, not strong enough for oh to feel yet, think that will be a while, i still have quiet a bit of extra padding bean needs to kick through so he can feel it :) hope you are all well!

I am rounding/ showing have been for weeks but i'm starting to grow out of the leggings i got to see me trough for a while in 3 sizes 2 big at 10 weeks so i may have to resort to maternity clothes shopping trying to delay it as long as possible tho.


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## amjon

Looks like we're team double blue! DH is excited, but I'm a bit disappointed as I wanted at least one to be a girl (b/g would be the best). She wasn't 100% sure though because she didn't get a good view, but was pretty sure there was too much there. Both babies looked great though and were measuring BIG. (One had a head measuring 15W1d!.) She said they're above normal for now, but thinks they'll fall into normal as the range widens. She thinks they are just genetically prone to be big and my GD doesn't have anything to do with their size yet.
 



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## Xlaura_BellaX

i had my scan on wednesday and all is well, very wriggly baby :) i didnt have change to get a picture (silly me was in a rush to leave the house) but will be rescanned in 4 weeks to have a proper due date, for now they have given me the 14th august, my sons due date was the 20th august, there's a huge chance this baby will be born very close to Milo's 1st birthday, maybe a sign?


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## dextersmum

sweet so glad you got to hear the heart beat. I have been in maternity jeans for weeks as I just find them so comfortable. Like you I have extra padding for baby to kick through for hubby to feel it lol. But after writing on here last night I only felt bubbles I got a stronger sensation in by stomach which definitely left like baby moving :happydance: so I am hoping this is the start of stronger feelings.

Amjon it is great news that babies are growing well. Have you got a bigger bump this time around yet? I guess you will have to start thinking of a second boys name now :winkwink:

Xlaura I am glad your scan went well :thumbup:

I have lots of work to do today so I had better get on with it. I have put the hyperactive puppy in his cage so that I can get something done lol


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> sweet so glad you got to hear the heart beat. I have been in maternity jeans for weeks as I just find them so comfortable. Like you I have extra padding for baby to kick through for hubby to feel it lol. But after writing on here last night I only felt bubbles I got a stronger sensation in by stomach which definitely left like baby moving :happydance: so I am hoping this is the start of stronger feelings.
> 
> Amjon it is great news that babies are growing well. Have you got a bigger bump this time around yet? I guess you will have to start thinking of a second boys name now :winkwink:
> 
> Xlaura I am glad your scan went well :thumbup:
> 
> I have lots of work to do today so I had better get on with it. I have put the hyperactive puppy in his cage so that I can get something done lol

Yes I'll be huge this time. I'm already measuring 20 weeks and look it! I thought we had the names sorted out and then DH starts up with wanting baby B to have an Indian first name. He said Sai, then Ram, then some more. I told him it wasn't happening. I'm hoping she just saw the cord or something there and when we go back B is really a girl as she said she wasn't 100% sure. I do really need a girl (especially since I had her and lost her).


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## _Lexi_

We weren't going to find out the sex, but we've changed our minds!! We have so much boy stuff from my pregnancy with Joshua, it would be easier to know if we need pink. Plus, now we've moved into a house, we can have a proper nursery so it would be nice to decorate k owing the sex. Considering Joshua wasn't named until he was8 hours old, we think we might of already picked names this time. I am showing, but just haven't seen many of my friends. Told my closest friends. Can't figure out how to do the Facebook announcement, especially so close to Joshua's birthday. Getting impatient for my scan now though!! I have a VERY wriggly baby, convinced this ones a girl, but we'll see!! I think it would be easier having a girl as we wouldn't be constantly comparing her to Joshua as she grows up and what he should of been doing. 

Glad to see everyone else is doing well :) xx


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## dextersmum

hello ladies I am feeling really nervous today for some reason do you ever have days like that where you just doubt things and feel worried. I really want to feel this baby giving me kicks and I am still only really feeling bubbles and I am not feeling them regularly although am sure I have felt them every day but today I have been questioning if I have been??? I really wish I had a doppler as I would have had it on today to put my mind at rest but then I think hubby is right and if I had one I would have had it on every hour today lol. Have a midwife apt on monday and really hope she listens for the heartbeat. She should if it is my 18 week apt shouldn't she?

I have a strong feeling this baby is a little girl too Lexi and like you we have a room full of boy's things so want to know if we need to look for different colours. I also feel it might be easier to have a girl so we are not comparing her with Dexter and wondering if he would of been the same at that age etc. We have a blue and red baby's room and we are thinking that even if it is a girl we will keep the same colours and add more red as we still feel it would be nice for her to share her big brothers room. But if jelly bean is a boy he will have the same room.

I also know what you mean Amjon as I too have also thought it would be nice to have another boy as I didn't get to bring Dexter home.

So I guess we will all know from our scans waht we are having.

Just hope my nerves pass and everything is ok with jelly bean


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## dextersmum

it is 10 months tomorrow since Dexter became an angel and I just hope I get to hear his brother or sisters heartbeat as I think that would be a lovely thing on a sad day. Still feeling a little nervous today how is everybody else doing?


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## sweetbuthyper

I'm feeling ok ish headachy and woke up worried coz bean wasn't fidgety this morning tho making up for it now so all is ok.

I think its normal to be nervous before appointments i was scared they'd hear nothing, Most uk midwives will try to hear a heartbeat at 16 weeks so i would have thought they would listen in in fact mine was confused to why the hospital hadn't tried when i was admitted. 

Just remember there are lots of hiding places and it can take a few mins to find them and you will be fine :) fx you get to hear heartbeat tomorrow


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## amjon

My OB couldn't find either heartbeat at my appointment this week so she just grabbed the US and they were fine. They're just hard to find sometimes. It's nice most of the OBs have in office US they can use if they can't find it. I get nervous before every US. I never was with my daughter until I was in the hospital and they couldn't find the heartbeat.


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## dextersmum

I have worked out why I am a bit nervous and anxious. Around this time last year in Dexter's pregnancy was when I started to feel reduced movement and then on the 18th Jan I was told that he had not grown for 3 weeks and that he would need to come out if he stood any chance of living, so I think it is all that playing on my mind. I just wish I was blissfully ignorant of things that can go wrong in pregnancy and had nothing to worry about or knew nothing I should or could be worried about :nope:


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## nicola ttc

Hi all :wave:
Haven't had a proper read through but will do tomorrow when i have a bit of time.
Tracy - i completely get that. I've been feeling really anxious lately and then realised it was at 20+3 i got admitted to hospital with Emily. Even though i haven't had any of the same issues this time, it's still scaring me. :hugs:
Hope everyone is well.


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## dextersmum

hello ladies well on Dexter's 10 month angelversary he sent me a very special gift and I heard his siblings heartbeat at my midwife appointment. I feel a lot more relaxed today as I had a good talk with the midwife and told her what was going on for me and she told me it is completely understandable and that it is ok that I can't turn my emotions off and I am allowed to be anxious etc. She also said I can go to her clinic any time even if I just want to check on baby by listening for heart beat. Which is really reassuring as the clinic is 5 mins walk from my house and means if I do that at least I know she will be using the doppler right - she advised me not to get my own doppler for that reason lol

so I have 17 days to wait until my next scan and I will try to remember to keep saying to myself "this is a different pregnancy" if I feel myself slipping to a negative place

How is everybody else doing today?


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## nicola ttc

Awww what a special gift from Dexter. :cloud9:
I'm glad you're feeling a bit less anxious. I think 'thi is a different pregnancy' is a mantra we all need on this thread at some point!! I'lldefinitely be remembering it. 
Thats good the midwife said pop in any time. :thumbsup: Even if you don't actually go, just knowing you have that option must make you feel a bit less anxious.

My scan is next Tuesday! I didn't book a genderscan at 16 weeks (the weekend before christmas) as i thought the weeks would whizz by with it being christmas, then new year, then kids back at school and being busy but nope, it's been the longest 4 weeks of my life!!:rofl: Stil, only 8 sleeps to go.
My ribs are really aching toda and i know it's not baby up there yet but something definitely is!
I thought it might be nice to do weekly bump pics, what do you think?
Here's my 20 week pic (well 19+5)
Look forward to seeing yours!!

https://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u620/nicolabird/20130113_112159_zps4a774c52.jpg


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## sweetbuthyper

nice bump mine to me just looks fat but i will take a picture tomorrow when i'm dressed and not lounging in pjs, plus i think i may pop some more over night as i've had stretching pain which usually results in me waking up in the morning looking like someone has pumped me up some more. 

dextersmum glad you got to hear heartbeat, and its grate your midwife said go in anytime i got told the same :) 

I'm less than impressed by the snow its settling and i have a scan appointment tomorrow, if necessary i will walk it only takes about 30 mins but could do with it melting or not getting to bad so we can get a taxi up there and back.


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## amjon

This is mine at 14+5 with the twins. The OB measured my uterus to my belly button last week (20 weeks).
 



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## Springflower

Hello Ladies!!

Sorry not been on for ages. I went back to work last week and when I've not been on the computer my oh has needed it to revise for an exam.

I'm trying to catch up with everyones news!

Dextesmum - So pleased you got to hear the heartbeat. Really not long now until you start getting the proper kicks. I think this time I got them about 22ws. re the progestrone, there is some suggestion that taking it from 24ws reduces the chance of premature birth, but studies are still being carried out. Hope you are doing ok. I remember we both lost our babies very close last year. I'm starting to get twitchy and anxious. I love Dot so much, but there is a big part of me that just wants Marnie back. It really is a head f*ck.

Nicola - Ohhh my bump looks like yours, only a bit bigger. haha! I'm sure my boobs are shrinking though, even my oh said they looked smaller! haha! Very exciting about your scan. You're finding out the gender right?

Sweetbuthyper (I love your username btw!) Cripes you have had a scary time. Hope you are ok to get to the appointment tomorrow. Careful on the ice!

Amjon - Awww two boys thats lovely news! Twins is very special. In the short time we had both our girls I have never felt happier. You have a lot to look forward to. 

Lexi - We were the time, I really wanted to know the sex as if it was a boy I'd sell our girl bits. We are definately done provided dot arrives safely. I too hadnt told many ppl but in the end did a facebook announcement as I was huge. Plus I want to be like everyone else and be normal!

AFM, will be 25ws on Wens so I reached viability!! I'm so proud! next milestone is 29ws when I gave birth to the girls. We did my hospital bag at the weekend in case of another early arrival. I'm hoping that by planning and being ready it will help the baby to come later! haha! Was really upset last week as Lily Allan has called her baby Marnie. Thats two celebrities now. We spent ages choosing her name I really wanted something different. I know no name is unique but it really bugs me that since she died more Marnie's have been popping up. I don't want it to turn into a really popular name. I know I'm being an idiot.

Right gotta go, my little girl needs her bedtime bottle. Sorry to anyone I've missed. Hope everyone is doing ok.:hugs:

:kiss:


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## dextersmum

Nicola that is a great bump you have. I don't have a proper bump yet (think it is because I was a size 16 before I got pregnant) so I think I just look fat (or fatter lol) but I will take a pic and post it asap.

Sweet good luck with your appointment tomorrow I hope you get there safely the snow is going here but it has rained so is turned to ice which is more dangerous.

Aileen how is work going? is it nice to be back? So glad you have got to 25 weeks I am sure having your bag packed means you won't need it until closer to 40 weeks. Did you have a section with the girls? Do you know what your birth plan is this time around?
I know what you mean about other people using the name Marnie but I would take it to mean that you chose a beautiful name and maybe Marnie herself has been whispering into peoples ears to use the same name :winkwink:
we are trying to find an unusual name as we thought Dexters name was unusual but so far the girls name that I like seems to be popping up all over the place so I don't know. I think I said before that we were looking for other names with an X in :wacko:

Amjon I love your bump pic and the way your husband has his hands on it - that is very romantic.

I have been told today that I am being referred to a physio because of my back pain as it is pelvic something or other so I have had to tell my hubby that I can no longer hoover or mop and you can imagine how he took that :thumbup:


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## Springflower

Haha Dextersmum, when I first got pregnant I told my husband it was dangerous to hoover. Haven't done it for a yr and a half now! Hehe!


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## Springflower

Being back at work has been really good. I'm working 3 days a week from home and only coming into the office if they need me to. Its helping as it gives me a break from carrying Indy all the time. She's heavy now and I'm supposed not to lift anything heavy. Hmmm.

The girls were a natural delivery. Was a really lovely experience esp as they gave me a spinal so I felt no pain what so ever. I had a spinal as they werent sure what was going on with the girls and didnt want me to run into problems halfway through.

This time I'm going to try for a natural birth again. Because of the bug the girls caught, they arent sure if I might now be a carrier and the baby too. So natural would actually be safer than a c section. It means as well that both baby and I need to be closely monitored after birth incase of problems. Baby will be heading back to the baby unit so I'm a bit gutted about that. Praying she doesnt have it as well as I honestly dont think I can go through it again. I could kill the old hospital for the mess they've landed us in!! grrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!! But anyway everyone knows the score and midwifes etc will be briefed. All the consultants on the baby unit know us and our story so I know dot will be in the best place. Just cant help hankering for some normality. 

Ohh names with an x, thats hard. Ohh I'm not Aileen btw I'm Alex. Has an x... haha! I love Dexter, its a great name and a real character. I know what you are saying about Marnie. I'll get there. We've got a name for Dot but I remembered its a Turkish resort so we may be rethinking it - haha!

XXX


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## dextersmum

sorry Alex I had it in my head you were Aileen lol. I like Alexa and Lexi for a girl which are forms of Alex and my hubby keeps saying Alex for a boy but that is because he is a man utd fan and wants to call the boy after Alex ferguson lol.

Lexi is the name that is becoming more popular, I liked it when pregnant with Dexter too but will have to wait and see. Are you going to share your name or keep it secret? Will you have Marnie as the middle name. I have just asked my hubby if we could use Dexter as the middle name if this baby is a boy and he said yes, only just thought of it as I am asking you. But I feel really strongly that this baby is a girl but will know in a couple of weeks I suppose.

I was trying to find a name that had a meaning like happiness, rainbow, future, star etc but can't find anything. Alex and variations of it mean defender of man (well on the website I have looked at??) has anybody got any good baby name books they would recommend?


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## sweetbuthyper

i googled baby names with an x ( i'm bored waiting for food to arrive ) here they are, We have decided on Alexander for a boy but will be using xander for short :) 

Girl names

Maxine
Moxie
Exene
Dixie
Trixie
Alexis
Alexa
Lexus
Alexandra
Beatrix
Lexie
Roxanne
Roxy
Xiomara
Xena
Xeni
Xenia
Alix
Oxsana
Xandra
Axelle
Jaxine
Xyla
Xanthe
Nyx

Boy names

Pax
Jax
Dax
Tex
Rex
Max
Maxim
Maxwell
Xaviar
Dexter
Baxter
Xander
Fox
Maddox
Axel
Hendrix
Felix
Huxley
Lexington
Lennox
Knox
Phoenix
Dixon
Nixon
Braxton
Bronx


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## Springflower

I really like Lexi, but won't use it as its too close to my name. But if I wasn't called that, I'd want to use it.

We wont be having Marnie as a middle name. We talked about it but decided not too. Our thinking was that this bubba is a different person and should have her own name. Marnie will always be in our hearts but I want her name just for her. We also decided not to use the letter M at all. Mostly because all the M names we like are similar to Marnie.

Our top contender is Lara Bay. But it may change. Bay would be her middle name. I definitely want something that goes with Indya and Marnie. So hard!


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## Springflower

Ohhh Xanthe is pretty!


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## nicola ttc

Loving all the name talk!!
We like names with a meaning too, or for a reason. We like...
Evie - meaning 'life' or 'living one'
Violet - 7th colour of the rainbow and my 7th child.
Hope - obvious meaning!
Got others but can't remember them at the moment! Will go look.
Tracy and Sweet - Alexander is a brilliant name!!:winkwink:


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## nicola ttc

Spring and Tracy, are you both looking for X names then?
How about Xara? I know Zara means 'dawn' or 'new beginning' so has a lovely meaning too.:shrug:


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## Springflower

Hey Nicola

No we aren't looking for a name with an X in it, although I'm not adverse to an X!

We are looking for anything not beginning with M.

Im voting for Violet, it's so pretty and has great meaning for you. Although I like them all just Violet is my favourite.

I've got my 25w midwife appointment tomorrow. Feeling a bit anxious today Dot has been very quiet, hope she's ok in there!


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## nicola ttc

:dohh: i meant Tracy and Sweet!
Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow :thumbup:
I keep thinking sprout has gone quiet and panicking then will get a whole load of whacks and kicks to reassure me! Hope you get some of those later, i'm sure all's fine but you're bound to worry. Have some of these. :hugs: :hugs:


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## Springflower

Thanks Nicola! She seems to have a run of days when she literally doesn't stop moving and then days when I get nothing. The girls were like it too, wish it was mire constant by hey ho!


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## nicola ttc

What about Darcie, spring? 
I like Dolly but as we're not married yet, baby won't have oh's name til we leave hospital/register so while we're in, baby would be Dolly Bird :rofl:
I can't think of any boys namesni like at all so kinda hoping this one is a girl!!


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## nicola ttc

I think the days of lots of movement, then less, are normal but because of our history, it's all so much more scary to us and we're looking for it a whole lot more i guess. Just a worrying rollercoaster of a journey, this pregnancy after loss life. :cry:


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## Springflower

Haha, that did make me laugh!! That's an excellent first and last name combo!

I really like Darcie but Oh has already veto'd it! Grrr! 

Have to admit I'm relieved we're having a girl. Oh and I never managed to agree on a boys name! That's was partly why we found out. We thought thus one was a boy and were both panicking about names!


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## sweetbuthyper

hi all back from the scan ....

not very reassuring to be honest and i think i am now more worried rather than less... bean ( who the sonographer thinks may be a boy!) was fine however my cervix has begun to shorten that had me in fits of tears so embarassing. I'm back next week as i didn't feel happy waiting 2 to see if theres any change, fingers crossed that it stays the same, if not i may have to throw a paddy on the floor till i see a consultant and not a midwife at my consultant appointment.

Nicola we aren't looking for names with x specifically infact we managed to agree finally on names at the beginning of jan they will be: 

Gabrielle Eve if its a girl ( eve is after my grandma eva) and 
Alexander ( xander) Keith if its a boy ( after the OH uncle who saddly passed 10+ years ago)


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## Springflower

Congratulations on bean probably being a boy!! Did they say what your cervix measured? 

I'm
All for throwing paddys. I really don't care, we've all been through hell and we need that extra reassurance. Don't be afraid to insist on seeing a cons.


xxx


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## sweetbuthyper

cervix meassured: 

@14 weeks - 4.5cm 
today @16 weeks - 29.4mm 

so quiet a big drop although only just out of 'normal' range from what i understand and research.


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## dextersmum

Ladies

I am so glad I have come on here tonight as I was just having a little wobble as not even sure if I have felt any "baby bubbles" today and was panicking about lack of movement from Jelly Bean but I see a few of us are having a day like that so feel a bit more at ease. Like you say Nicola it is such a roller coaster. It probably didn't help that I was delivering a training course today and one of the participants who was sat opposite me is 29 weeks pregnant and has a great bump and kept rubbing her belly all day.

Sweet glad baby was ok just keep throwing a paddy if it means they will listen to you and keep their eye on your cervix.

Spring I love the name Lara Bay :thumbup:

Nicola I nearly wet myself at Dolly Bird :laugh2: I really like Evie and I mentioned Hope (and Faith) to hubby think they are on our list. I really like your daughters name Tiegan because my maiden name was Tracy Regan so Tegan feels like a great name to continue my old name :happydance: but hubby said NO!!! :dohh:

Sweet Gabrielle is a beautiful name but if the sonographer is right I guess it will be Xander which is very trendy :thumbup:

midwife thinks I may have pelvic girdle pain so has referred me to a physio. I don't have pain all the time but she said it is worth going as they will support me throughout the rest of pregnancy and couple of weeks afterwards


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## dextersmum

I don't understand anything about the cervix sweet what does it mean??


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## Springflower

That is quite a big drop. But as you say you are still within normal range. My cons said its really common for the length to change all the time and it can go back up as easily as it can go down. I haven't seen that yet tbh mine has steadily decreased every 2 weeks. Last time I was at 32 I think. Id push for a TVS every 2 weeks now.

xxx


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## Springflower

Sweet I though normal was 25mm


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## Springflower

Tracy sorry to hear you are having a wobble. It's horrid!! Hope you little bump starts wriggling away soon. 

They monitor your cervix if they are concerned about prem labour. If the cervix gets too short it could be that birth could happen soon but what they do is put a stitch in to keep baby in! They monitor you until 24ws when you are viable. Stitches seem to work really well. 

We also thought about Summer but then we'd have Indya and summer and when you say it quick it sounds like Indian summer. So that's out!

xxx


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## Springflower

Tracy hope you get your referral sorted asap!

xxx


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## sweetbuthyper

I've been told 30mm and above is normal and below 25mm is when they will step in/think about acting and placing a stitch. I am being monitored every 2 weeks minus this one when it will be in a week coz i'm worried.


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## nicola ttc

Sweet i had regular cervix scans last time and was also told 30mm + is normal too. It's good they're keeping regular checks but i agree, kick up a fuss, throw a tantrum, cry, chain yourself to the midwives- whatever you need to do to get seen by a consultant and put your mind at ease!
There's a great group of ladies on gestational complications on a thread called incompetent cervix/ cerclage support or something that were really helpful with all the questions i had if you have any. 
Gabrielle is a lovely name (and Alexander too obviously:thumbup:)
Shall i add you to the first page as team blue?!
Tracy sorry you're having a wobble but glad you came on and found you're not the only one! :hugs:
Hope everyone else is ok.


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## sweetbuthyper

nicola can you leave me as blank for a while we are going to double check at the 20 week scan as the sonographer wasn't 100% sure ( looked like a boy to me as well but we shall wait and see)


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## amjon

sweetbuthyper said:


> I've been told 30mm and above is normal and below 25mm is when they will step in/think about acting and placing a stitch. I am being monitored every 2 weeks minus this one when it will be in a week coz i'm worried.

They measure mine every 2 weeks also. At 10 weeks it was 3.7cm, the 3.2 cm at 12 weeks and 4.7cm at 14 weeks, so it can go up and down.


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## dextersmum

morning ladies I have a more active jelly bean today, didn't sleep very well last night as woke up needing a wee and then again when I had cramp but thats ok because I felt the baby bubbles then aswell so all good :happydance:

I just had a funny experience I went out to clear up the dog poop, this is ususally hubby's job but he has been going out to work early when it is still dark and is home when it is dark so bit hard to find dog mess on the garden when dark. I thought I would be a good wife and help out only I ended up being sick in the garden when shovelling the poop :dohh: don't think I will be doing that job again in a hurry.

Think I will just still to cooking and polishing as I can't do the hoovering :thumbup:

off to my parents in a bit with the puppy so they can entertain him. They have been on holiday for over 2 weeks so we need to catch up.

I have took a bump pic just need to get it on here. Although I don't have an obvious bump but then again I don't think I had an obvious bump when I was 6 months pregnant with Dexter??


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## nicola ttc

Just updating first page - Amjon, what is your due date?Shall i add you as 2 blue or are you waiting til your next scan 'just in case' :haha:

Xlaura_BellaX - i hope all is ok with you. Would you like to be added to the first pageas 14th August or wait til your next scan? Do you have a date for it yet?

Tracy - glad Jellybean has been more wriggly today, sprout has too - possibly because i've eaten a chocolate muffin AND a doughnut this morning...:blush: This one seems to like sugar!!
Sticking to polishing and cooking sounds a good plan to me!:thumbup:

Lexi - how are you? Haven't heard from you in a while, i hope all is ok. :hugs:When is your next scan?

Nicksi - howbare things going?
Ich - how are you?! Not long now!!


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## amjon

nicola ttc said:


> Just updating first page - Amjon, what is your due date?Shall i add you as 2 blue or are you waiting til your next scan 'just in case' :haha:
> 
> Xlaura_BellaX - i hope all is ok with you. Would you like to be added to the first pageas 14th August or wait til your next scan? Do you have a date for it yet?
> 
> Tracy - glad Jellybean has been more wriggly today, sprout has too - possibly because i've eaten a chocolate muffin AND a doughnut this morning...:blush: This one seems to like sugar!!
> Sticking to polishing and cooking sounds a good plan to me!:thumbup:
> 
> Lexi - how are you? Haven't heard from you in a while, i hope all is ok. :hugs:When is your next scan?

I'm due July 9. I'm still hoping baby B is girlie. ;)


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## dextersmum

lots of baby bubbles all day today the baby particularly likes it when I drink a hot drink or a cold milkshake :winkwink:
I have a bit of an addiction to Crusha strawberry milkshake which I make with semi skimmed milk so I consider it to be healthy :thumbup: I usually have a sweet tooth and I am having the odd sweet, usually if I feel sickly I have something in my bag/pocket to take my mind off it like today had wine gums as felt sickly. But I actually have 3 tins of chocolates from christmas and I haven't even eaten a tin yet and one isn't even open which is not like me but I don't suppose that is a bad thing. Iam more wanting savoury things like crisps in meaty flavours :wacko:

I can get my bump photo on its says the file is too big lol so will have to try and take a different one another time.

Excited to see OBEM tonight for some reason I like wathcing birthing programmes :shrug: do you ladies know you birth plans yet? Nicola will you be having a c-section before your due date?
The doctor asked me at my last apt what I want to do and she gave me literature on vbac and c-section. I am going to opt for vbac if everything goes to plan because for some bizarre reason I want to go through labour and have a natural birth as that option was taken away from me with Dexter as had to have emergency c-section


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## nicola ttc

Tracy i'd go for a vbac too if i was allowed - my first 2 were natural deliveries and i loved it. It's a wonderful experience but 'whatever gets baby here safely' is my motto now!! 
I will definitely be having another section after 4 emcs - hopefully elective this time and not another emergency!!
It will be planned for 38 weeks providing i have no problems beforehand but if i begin contracting again they'll deliver before that if they can't stop them. 
It's all getting a bit real now isn't it?! :yipee: exciting but also terrifying!!


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## dextersmum

it is all starting to get a bit real Nicola I just wish I could fast forward to about 36 weeks lol

I am definitely going to try for a vbac but like you say what ever brings the baby here safely is the ultimate option.

Jelly bean is having a quieter day today I guess I am just going to have to get used to that lol I don't feel as freaked out by it today as have felt some bubbles


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## sweetbuthyper

i'm having a bad day, been resting as i had a busy day yeasterday and bed rest can be helpful in preventing cervical shortening but went out to meet hubby at the supermarket to get food for tea, got all the shopping go to the self servive tills went really dizzy and next thing i know i;m on the floor, having fainted :( so embarrassing :blush: i'm ok minus a twisted ankle and brused writst luckly i landed on my side and not the bump.


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## _Lexi_

Hey :) sorry been a bit quiet recently. Been hibernating from the blizzard. Norwich has been horrendous since Monday, today is no exception. Had to go to the drs Monday as my left knee has been really been painful, and they think I've somehow damaged all the cartilage in my knee. So have to ice it every 2 hours and keep it flat as much as possible. 

My next scan is on the 31st, seems like forever, then every 4 weeks after that. Feeling the baby most days now, my cat is getting confused whenever he gets a little kick as he loves lying on my stomach. 

Starting to struggle a little with Joshua's birthday/angelversary fast approaching. Still haven't announced this pregnancy yet. Bumped into a friend last week after putting a deposit down on our pram and told her. Her response was "your only 18 weeks, is it sensible to be buying a pram, I mean, what if this one dies too?". I didn't really know what to say, just said they've got a full refund policy, got home and burst into tears. How insensitive can you get?! We never got to buy a pram for Joshua, so I was so excited, just for her to put a dampner on it. I've barely got any friends after losing Joshua, so for her to say that was just horrible. 

We "think" we've decided on names!! Considering Joshua wasn't named until he was about 8 hours old, I'm quite impressed we've come to an agreement. 

I'm hoping for a vbac as well, sounds silly, but I feel like I failed Joshua a little by not being able to give birth naturally. Oh thinks I should have an elective c section though. My last one, the c section was ok, but my recovery was horrendous. I'm worried that once he goes back to work after the 2 weeks paternity leave, I'll struggle on my own. Took me 8-10 weeks to even start to feel somewhat normal after my last one. At the moment, my consultant is happy for me to vbac, but obviously we'll just see what happens. My biggest fear, and it's really silly, is that with a vbac, I'll be on the ward, instead of a private room like with c section, and oh won't be able to stay. I'm terrified something will happen overnight and oh won't be there, and as neither of us drive, he wouldn't get there in time. I also know there's a bit of a baby boom this year and that the hospital is just going to be overrun and they'll turn me away and send me somewhere else. All silly, irrational fears, but just the thought of either one is terrifying me. 
xx


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## sweetbuthyper

well bean has been active this morning so calmer today :) and i finally got round to doing a bump pic i think i just look fatter but here you are
 



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## dextersmum

Lexi I can't believe how insensitive your friend was saying what she did that really was not a very nice thing for her to say at all and I am surprised you didn't get angry or cry in front of her you were strong to hold that in until you got home. Please delete from your memory what she said and carry on thinking positively and buying things for this baby. We deserve our happy endings and we shall get them so stay strong.
I know what you mean about c-section it is the recovery time needed afterwards. I recovered really quickly last time but I think that was my stubborness to do what I needed to do to be able to walk about a lot to visit Dexter in hospital I also needed to get back to driving when Dexter was moved to another hospital as it was easier for me to get there by driving.

It looks like we will be having all our scans at a similar time as our next one is 31st Jan will be 20+3 and then we have the dates for them every 4 weeks upto 36 weeks.

Are you going to share your names with us Lexi or are you keeping them secret??

Sweet I am really sorry to hear about your fainting spell hope your wrist and ankle are ok. I can see a clear bump on your photo and don't think you look fat you look pregnant :thumbup:

I continue to feel the baby bubbles which is lovely. It would be really nice to feel a kick or something on sunday as that is Dexters 1st birthday and that would make my day. I really can't believe that this time last year we were told that Dexter needed to be born. This will be a hard milestone to get through I am sure :cry:

we have about 4cm of snow here which is always lovely when it falls but not nice afterwards when it turns to ice so will have to be extra careful if I go out.


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## sweetbuthyper

i'm feeling a little better bean is active today :) which eases the worried i had yesterday. wrist is all fine today i think i just knocked it was ok after an hour or so yesterday, ankle is ok i'm still hobbling but can put a little more weight on it, if painkillers were an option i think i'd be walking fine but just resting it theres no swelling so hoping i just tweaked it and it should be alot better tomorrow its improved as the days gone on. 

We aren't buying anything til 25 weeks but thats because i have nearly everything all we need is pram, car seat and non uni sex clothes then nappies ect. Also we currently have no where to store anything as baby stuff is rammed in cupboards where i hid it all and the nursey is full of stuff that probably should be in those cupboards not feeling up to sorting through it yet. I know we have a lot of stuff we can probs sell tho eg i know we have a rediciously amount of bear suits and we are having a summer baby, so will probs sell some and keep the best. 

Plan on sortiing through stuff to see what we have i really can't remember other than i know the cot is in one of our wardrobes however i can't remember where i put the screws :dohh: probs in the loft, will be sorting after my 20 week scan. 

However i have chosen i think what pram i want and money + worry is the only thing stopping me buying it now so i don't think 18 weeks is too early at all we need to stay postive or the worry will drive us nuts and it doesn't do baby any good :) sorry your friend was so awful.


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## _Lexi_

I'll be 20+2 on the 31st, my due date is 19th June, what's yours?? Think all our scans are going to be very close!!

Our names are Sebastian James, or Jessica Lily. We've loved Jessica lily since my last pregnancy. Im not a huge fan of Sebastian, but I do like Seb, so it's kind of a happy medium. We really struggle with boys names. 

I hope Sunday is gentle on you. Joshua's first birthday is the 6th February, and I'm getting a little nervous about it. 

Glad your not seriously injured sweet and seem to be recovering ok. It's tough sorting through things. We've just gone through Joshua's clothes to find out what we had that was boys, and what was neutral so we had a vague idea what we might need if it is a girl. Was quite tough and emotional, I too hid everything away after losing Joshua. x


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## dextersmum

my due date is 17th June Lexi. The names you have choosen are lovely. We haven't even decided on a boys name as I have a strong feeling this is a girl so we will be shocked on the 31st if we find out it is a boy lol

We bought our balloon today to release at 9.50am tomorrow which is the time Dexter was born I can't believe a whole year has passed since we were told that Dexter needed to be born via emergency c-section. I am really not sure how I am feeling other than again feeling anxious about this pregnancy and just praying that everything goes well this time. I hope Dexter is looking over us and helps us through this pregnancy


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## sweetbuthyper

Dextersmum, We found that firsts are the hardest 1st birthday, what should have been 1st christmas, Its been a year a half for us now and it took me over a year to fall pregnant again so that adds to our worry over this littleone arriving saftly. However that said i did find this christmas easier than last and altho we remembered nathaniel and visited his grave it wasn't as heart wreacking or as difficult as the first christmas was. 

I'm actually due round the date nathaniel was born, current due date 30th june and nathaniel was born on the 29th, so i know if i go full term its going to be very diffcult to deal with.


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## Krippy

Thinking of you Tracy! Happy Birthday Dexter!


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## Baby Bell

Happy birthday Dexter........Tracey thinking of you!:hugs: I'm sure Dexter is having a wonderful party in the clouds :kiss:


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## nicola ttc

Happy Birthday Dexter. :kiss:
Floaty kisses to the sky for you. 
Big hugs to you Tracy, been thinking of you lots today. Hope the day has been gentle on you. :hugs:


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## _Lexi_

Happy birthday dexter!! xxx


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## dextersmum

hi ladies well I am almost through Dexter's first birthday thank you for your birthday wishes to my precious little boy I am sure all our children had a wonderful party to celebrate. Morning was a little hard as I remembered that a year ago I was being prepped for an emergency section and then at 9.50am Dexter was born and came into the world with a little cry. Its hard to see the scars on my tummy and knowing it was all for Dexter but he didn't get to stay. I have kept myself busy all day and had my parents and in-laws round for sunday roast so being occupied has helped me and jelly bean has been giving me regular bubbles through out the day which has helped me to get through it.

Krippy and Aileen it is lovely to see you both on here hope you and the babies are happy and well xx


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## Springflower

Will come on properly tomorrow but wanted to wish Dexter a very happy birthday. It was a beautiful day here. Lots of snow, I said a little happy birthday to your man. 

I hope the day was as gentle as it could be. We have the girls coming up soon, I'm so scared of it. 

xxx


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## sweetbuthyper

sorry dextersmum oi thought i had left a message saying happy birthday yesterday but i didn't :( 

had a bad day of hormones so must just have forgotten to press enter. I have a scan to check bean and my cervix tomorrow fx is good news


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## amjon

Hi ladies. Glad everyone is doing okay. Dextersmum hope his birthday went okay. My husband had wanted a party for Taylor's, but we ended up not really doing anything. 

I've been nervous lately when I don't feel the babies move for a bit. I know everything is likely fine, but I just can't help but think something is wrong. We go to the doctor on Thursday and I know that will make me feel better, at least for a few days and then it will come back again. It's just so horrible when you've lost a baby so late. I'm glad she was okay with us keeping the 2 week appointments as I would be totally freaking out if a month went by. DH won't be able to go to this appointment and I know that makes him sad, but his job is getting mad about the all appointments (and so is mine, but to that I just say too bad). I'm hoping she will sign me off soon (and would have already asked if I didn't have the getting my shots issue, as it's easier to do if I go to work as someone there will always help me out). I have to meet with my principal on Wednesday to discuss why I have to be out so much. :(


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## nicola ttc

Amjon i feel the same when i don't feel baby move for a while. I hope the meeting goes ok - it's not like you'd have such regular appointments if they weren't needed. They have to understand that? We'd all much rather have innocent, straight forward pregnancies again! What do you do?

Hope everyone is ok.
I have my 20 week scan tomorrow at 10.40. Am terrified that they will find something wrong but looking forward to finding out what we're having. I'm still convinced girl but we'll see tomorrow!


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## amjon

nicola ttc said:


> Amjon i feel the same when i don't feel baby move for a while. I hope the meeting goes ok - it's not like you'd have such regular appointments if they weren't needed. They have to understand that? We'd all much rather have innocent, straight forward pregnancies again! What do you do?
> 
> Hope everyone is ok.
> I have my 20 week scan tomorrow at 10.40. Am terrified that they will find something wrong but looking forward to finding out what we're having. I'm still convinced girl but we'll see tomorrow!

I'm a teacher. The principal is complaining because she thinks my students are missing too much instruction (even though they are with their classroom teachers when I am not there as I do pullout for 30 minutes at a time 2 days a week). She knows I lost my daughter and had another MC after that and that I have several risk factors. I told her when I was 5 weeks because I thought she would understand more given all my risk, but she seems to think I shouldn't need to see the doctor more than anyone else.


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## Springflower

Not good news from me. Saw my cons yesterday and he did a scan. Our Dot is measuring about 3 weeks behind. I've got another scan next Friday and I guess they'll go from there. I'm so scared. Frightened that she is going to die inside me, that she's so tiny she'll have a very rough road ahead of her or She won't make it out of NICU. I'm so flipping angry too, why can't I just have a normal pregnancy. GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! I should be measuring 26ws tomorrow instead I'm just over 23. :nope:

Nicola - I'm excited about your scan. Cant wait to hear what team you are on. I'm guessing pink!

Amjon - Your work are completely out of order. I can't believe they are behaving like that. Hopefully you will get signed off soon.

SweetButHyper - Hope the scan went well!

Dextersmum - Hope you are doing ok.:hugs:

xxx


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## nicola ttc

Oh Spring, how worrying. I really hope the next scan shows that dot has had a growth spurt and caught up again. At least they've picked it up early and can do the best they can for you and baby. Is the next scan friday 1st? :hugs:


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## nicola ttc

We are team pink!!
Everything looked good and placenta is posterior now and not low :yipee:
https://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u620/nicolabird/20130122_123639_zps2aab5dd8.jpg


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## Springflower

Yeay for team pink!!! Ohh no you can properly think about names! So pleased to hear all is well.

Yes scan is on 1st. Feels like a long wait...


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## MizzPodd

Hi everyone! Im pregnant after recent loss... i delivered july 5 and got pregnant about 6 weeks later (not on purpose but i now know it was meant to be :))My rainbow baby is due May 21st :) I know Nicola from other thread.

Have high risk pregnancy again.... but.... Trying to stay positive... 24 weeks is a week away which was my recent goal and now next goal is 28 weeks.

My angel Chrisna is watching over us so I know we will make it full term this time :)


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## nicola ttc

Welcome Mizzpod :hi:
Good to see you here.


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## sweetbuthyper

Scan went well baby is fine although was a sleep and didn't want to uncurl, cervix is looking good gone back up to 3.6 rest seems to be working so sticking with it back in 2 weeks for another cervix check then the week after for 20 week scan


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## MizzPodd

Thanks Nicola :) 

Sweetbuth congrats on your length check. :) I get mine every two weeks also and have my appt for it tomorrow. I pray mine is good! I wish you all the best sweetie


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## Springflower

Hey Mizzpod, welcome!

xxx


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## nicola ttc

Sweet that's great news! The rest is doing the trick then, just keep doing what you're doing and you'll reach term i'm sure. :thumbup:

Mizzpod good luck for tomorrow. What was your cervix length at the last one?


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## MizzPodd

It was 3.7!!! From 2.5 cm to 3.7cm in two weeks. That's when docs said stay on bedrest til delivery among other reasons. But since my uterus is prolapsed laying down prevents it from sitting and weighing down on my cervix which is what they think started the funneling. Speaking of, he is checking that tomorrow too. I hope everything is good and it's still thick closed and firm.


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## MizzPodd

It's just nerve wrecking at times because when I went into preterm labor before, I had no contractions...:( the way I found out was going to use the restroom and I felt something coming out which was my amniotic sac.... So I look forward to the cervix checks every two weeks. I'm sure I'm not the only one but after passing my baby girls due date in December and my delivery milestone from last time, I'm just now starting to enjoy this pregnancy and relax. But I'm still gonna be on edge even after the baby's born; that's just my motherly worry lol I think it never goes away.


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## sweetbuthyper

i understand the worry mizz i did have contractions but didn't know at the time was told they were braxton hicks or a water infection 2 days after start of pain i went to the toilet to throw up coughed and passed blood was rushed in to hospital and was having contractions. I think i will be less worried when i pass the 23 week mark which is when i lost my boy. Until then knowing my cervix isn't giving out with fortnightly scans is keeping me sane.


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## MizzPodd

Wow that is tough! I have you and your little rainbow baby in my thiughts.:hugs: are you on the progesterone? they put it on me from 16 weeks to 36 weeks, and so far so good! I pray your body keeps cooking the baby :D

I wonder if the pains I felt the night before were contractions... With dd1 I knew what the contractions were because they were terrible and I guess I didn't view the pains as contractions. We drive ourselves crazy with all the what ifs... I'm much better about that but I still need some type of counseling to get closure. They told us we delivered a boy and for weeks we were thinking we lost a boy but at my 6 week post they said we had a girl. :( so everything is under a boy name til this day including birth and death certificates, even social security card! That's what is stopping me from truly finding closure. I made a ern in her name and decorated it because of course the one we got has a boy name. We r still waiting for them to change everything to her name


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## dextersmum

Spring I am really keeping my fingers crossed that everything is ok when you go back in a couple of weeks. It feels like the consultant is not that worried if they are waiting for 2 weeks? how often have you been going for scans? is this the first time they have said baby is not as big as the number of weeks you are? so many questions sorry I just want everything to go well for all of us after everything we have been so please try to remain positive and calm and keep us posted :hugs:

Nicola congratulations of being team pink :pink: and finding out about your baby girl your intuition was right :winkwink: how does your oh feel about it being a girl??

welcome Mizzpod to our lovely group so sorry about your loss. Its good that you are setting your self short term goals to get through, being pregnant after a loss is so hard so every milestone is great.

Sweet good news about your cervix measurement :happydance:

Amjon i am so glad that me and hubby are self employed so we only have to answer to ourselves if we take time off for appointments as it would be a lot to explain with the number of appointments. I hope your principal is understanding when you have your conversation as it is a hard enough time for us to have the stress of pressure from others. What happens if you do get signed off work? will you still get paid?

AFM I am now in my 19th week and feeling more from the baby from stronger bubbles to light kicks and punches which feels great. But like you Amjon and Nicola I then worry when I don't feel it for a while. Every little thing is a worry isn't it when you have been through what we have been through.

my sickness came back again today (not had it for a while) had an early start and don't know if it was a shock for my body and then I had mcdonalds for my tea - bit of a craving but have felt ropey ever since and I am really sensitive to smells and our dog has been a bit stinky and I ended up having to run to the kitchen sink to retch :wacko:

I have been injecting the fragmin into my thighs and I have been getting bigger bruises and hard lumps under my skin and then a couple of days later my skin gets really hot and itchy where I have injected. Is anybody else getting this??


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## sweetbuthyper

thats really bad mizz :( hope you get closure soon. 

I'm not on progesterone its not common to be put on it in the uk. So far all seems well and they are keeping a very close eye on me :) I of course know now that pain like i felt with nathaniel is bad and can go straight to the hospital rather than to the midwifes, to get checked out


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## MizzPodd

Well I'm glad you know exactly what to do if that happened. I'm hoping things keep going good for you though. :)


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## amjon

Spring- Have they told you to be on bed rest yet? I was told I would be possibly put on bed rest at 20 weeks if the blood flow to the placentas did not look great. It may help your LO get more blood flow to grow a bit more. Hopefully she's just prone to be small. 

Dextersmum- I will get 60% of my pay as I did sign up for disability. It's supposed to be 6 weeks, but with a complicated pregnancy and a doctor sign off I should be able to get it during pregnancy + 6 weeks after. I haven't had issues with my Lovenox. I do the stomach every day though. I do have a few bruises, but nothing horrible. I do both the insulin and the Lovenox in the stomach.


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## nicola ttc

Hey ladies :wave:
Is it wierd that i'm struggling a bit today? 
When we found out Emily was a girl i was pleased because i felt like she'd be different to Edward - that i wouldn't be constantly thinking...'would Edward have been like this?' .. now i know there would be no getting away from those thoughts either way this time but kind of wish we didn't know. :shrug:
It feels wierd to be having another girl. I wanted Emily. :cry:
I'm only saying this here because i know you ladies won't think i don't love this baby or want her any less because i'm feeling like this. Just struggling a bit. :cry:


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## nicola ttc

Hmmm was just thinking. Maybe it's just that i got to see baby yesterday and know she is a 'she'. Makes it all more real and maybe i'm just more scared of the worst happening. :shrug:
Haven't had a day like this for quite a while.


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## dextersmum

Hi Nicola I am so sorry that I didn't manage to come on here yesterday to reply to your message. I absolutely understand where you are coming from it must be even harder for you because you lost Edward and Emily so either sex is going to be a reminder of either of them. Don't be too hard on yourself it is only natural to be having thoughts like you are having and of course I understand that your thoughts do not meant you love this little girl any less. I am sure you are feeling extra nervous at the moment because of milestones and timings but remember my mantra "this is a different pregnancy" and I believe that you are not having the same issues this time around so try to believe that this is the baby girl you are bringing home with your OH :hugs:

If you ever want to talk things through I am more than happy to give you my number as some times it helps to talk.

When I found out at our 16 week scan that at this point the baby looked like a girl (although could be different at 20 weeks as more developed) I left the apt with really mixed feelings and thought I was going to burst into tears as I have been thinking all along that if it is a girl I won't compare her and her development with Dexter or wonder if this is what Dexter would be like but then I was also thinking that my husband already has 3 girls and I gave him Dexter his first boy but we didn't get to bring him home and I would love to see Anthony with his son so if this is a girl I won't get to do that :nope: so many things going through my head, which I am sure is what is going on for you right now. I spoke to a friend yesterday and told her that I know I can't stop these thoughts and I am not going to try to I am just going to try and work through them as they come up by either doing that myself or talking about it with somebody else. I try to talk to Anthony but I am not sure he always understands :wacko: but thats ok I just need to voice whats going on im my head.

Jelly bean was either pretty quiet yesterday or has found a position in my stomach that I can't feel much movement so I am hoping that I feel them tap dancing today for some reassurance :thumbup:

I am sat at home today watching birthing stories which I record every day lol I am sat visualising the point where this is me and hoping that June arrives quickly and that everything progresses as it should with this pregnancy


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## dextersmum

Nicola what is your care plan from this point are you going to get more scans and consultant apts?


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## nicola ttc

Thanks Tracy. :hugs:
I'm supposed to have a placenta/cord flow (as well as baby) scanat 24 weeks, then 4 weekly scans after that with consultant appt's inbetween - so appt's every 2 weeks. They told me on Tuesday that i don't have any of these booked in yet and that the consultant needs to request each one seperately at my appointments so next cons appt 14th feb, then should be booking the cord flow scan etc for the following week. I don't get why they can't all be booked at once if the plan is to have them. :shrug: All just seems a bit overwhelming to think about right now!! I'm sure i'll be fine again in a couple of days.
Right, off to tidy the tip (kids room) now! Wish me luck!!
Hope JellyBean dances all day for you.:flower:


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## Springflower

I'm supposed to be working but just wanted to pop on here and say you aren't alone Nicola. I think the way you are feeling is 100% normal. As Tracy says you have had it happen twice to your little boy and little girl. So I think whatever sex you had been told you would feel the same. Although I'm so happy to have our Dot in me, there is a little teeny bit that thinks actually would I would really like is to have Marnie here still but that wasnt meant to be. Its strange though because whenever I have that thought Dot gives me a little kick. I think she has a little bit of our Marnie in her and the kick is to say I'm still here.

Tracy - Congrats on most probably being team pink. I understand your feelings, dont worry about Anthony, he will be over joyed at another little girl. Hopefully jellybean will have a good old kick today:hugs:

Need to get back to work but I'm am a complete mess. I do not feel good at this pregnancy at all. All I can think is I'm going to lose her too. Am seeing my immune Dr tomorrow for a couple of drips. Hopefully they will help stop my body attacking her and she'll start to grow again. I'm also going to email my hospital consultant and explain my feelings.

Right better get on.
xxx


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## nicola ttc

Thanks Spring. :hugs:
Good luck for your appointment tomorrow. Could they do the scan any sooner or are they waiting til next Friday so they have enough time to check growth?
I hope and pray for you that little Dot is getting stronger and bigger in there every day and all will be fine at the next scan. :hugs:


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## dextersmum

Nicola I don't understand why you can just get all the apt's booked then you know the dates and can plan accordingly. I have a scan and see my consultant on the same day every 4 weeks and have them all booked in now upto 36 weeks. Although they did book me wednesday apts and my consultant has his clinic on a thursday so I had to phone and get them all changed - that was because my consultant was on holiday and the consultant covering him has a weds clinic and she made the requests for my apt's :dohh: when I queried the dates the receptionist tried to tell me that I would be seeing a midwife anyway not the consultant at which my reply was "I had better be seeing a consultant, particularly at the 36 week apt as I would have to be talking to them about by birthing plan as I have been told I will need a consultant in the room for the birth. Honestly you have to keep on top of everything with these appointments. I would ask you consultant at your next apt if you can get them all booked esp to ensure OH being able to attend??

Spring do they think it is your body attacking the baby and slowing the growth? It must be really hard not to be a mess at the moment with every thing that is going on but we are all ways here to be a listening ear or shoulder to cry on hun :hugs:

I have felt a few bubbles from jelly bean today but I have also had a few occassions where part of my bump has gone hard and feels strange any ideas what this could be? Should I phone my midwife or is this normal? I don't remember having this with Dexter??


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## sweetbuthyper

dexters mum sounds like braxon hicks but i could be wrong so give your midwife a call if your worried. 

Nicola i also can't pre book appointments consultant has to order them and my appointments are every 2 weeks its mad, i get to go in have scan see consultant get given forms to go to reception and book again, for them to send me a letter with the scan time on. My appointments are always a tuesday tho so semi easy to plan for as consultant only does that day ( and only morning ) or so i'm told i'm sure ive seen her name on other days tho. 

As for me i'm doing ok was a little stressed yesterday because bean was very quiet and after the couldn't find the heart beat on there ancient doppler at the hospital on tuesday was a little worried, OH reminded me that we saw the heart beat on the scan and i got kicked just be for i feel asleep so a little calmer today altho would rather like a little more movement today. Bean appears to be very low at the moment tho and making me waddle because of it so i think thats the reason i can't feel anything. 

I have mixed feeling at the min, i'm scared which is natural as we are coming up to the time i lost Nathaniel and also mixed over the sex we were told at 16 weeks they think boy and i'm not sure how i feel i know we aren't replacing Nathaniel but it feels odd to be possibly having another boy, i like you dextersmum thought it would be easier if it was a girl, but OH reminded me after the scan that he always said he wanted an older boy to 'look after the girl(s)' so i guess if bean is a boy we will have that :) 

My emotions are all over at the min damn hormones i cry at the drop of a hat, dizziness is still there but seems to be improving with the pregnancy vits so i think i was correct and it was my iron levels, causing it. 

Hope yoou all have a good day x


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## dextersmum

tightness in bump only lasted about 5 mins and not had it since but have had bubbles and movement so feeling a bit better about things but I will keep my eye on everything and if it happens again contact the midwife. It is a bit nerve wrecking when baby has a quiet day isn't it.

Has your sickness gone now sweet?

have people noticed that you are pregnant anybody?? I work with a small company and I have been there a few times since new year and I haven't told them I am pregnant yet (waiting until after 20 week scan next week) but nobody has said anything to me so I guess my bump is not that obvious yet?? although I do wear big baggy cardigans all the time lol.

I am suffering with spots at the moment which makes me feel like a teenager but on the plus side my hair is shiny and not going greasy like it was in frist trimester.

Nicola how are you feeling today chick??


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## sweetbuthyper

yep my sickness seems to have gone still have times when i feel sick but thats usually if i'm late eating something. 

Itching is my current issue i have excema and i appear to have delevloped sry skin everywhere the only thing that really helps is being naked tmi so i guess i'm just getting to warm or my clothes are annoying my skin, its managable tho and not so bad today. 

Beans been bouncy today so all is good, not really seen anyone who doesn't know i'm pregnant but i have a bump ( altho not huge and in some clothes i just look fat and waddle at the min :dohh: so i probs look pregnant to outsiders, altho there probs to poliete to say anything with me not being overly obviously pregnant yet. I have however started to gain weight now which is good as i was getting a little worried as i was still loosing it, i appear to be gaining .2kg a week so only like 1/2lb but its all good, i don;t want to gain a huge amount anyways :)


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## amjon

I do have an obvious bump (but with twins I think it would be hard not to). I saw the MFM again today. She is lovely and I'm so glad she was recommended. The boys were doing great and VERY active. They did unfortunately confirm we have two sons. She did all the measurements she needed (not as many as the full anatomy they did at 14 weeks though) and then I asked her to check their sexes. The first one was head down and as she was going up from the head to see the little rascal crossed his legs and put his hand down there. The other was being pretty uncooperative too, but she persisted and finally found the obvious appendages in profile on both of them. The MFM was there at the time and they both agreed we're having two boys. They both asked where DH was. She has signed me off work for the stress as she said it should help bring my BP down as well. I told her what they did to me this week and she had no problem with it. Now I should have some time to get some things done around here too. I did go to Buy Buy Baby today to check out the double strollers and decided to just go ahead and register while I'm there as it's a good hour and 15 minutes from my house. Now to just get everything straight at work, so I can be out and totally relax. :)
 



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## TatorMom

I just thought I'd post an update. We lost our girls Grace and Paige at 22 weeks due to an infection of the membranes. We'll never forget our baby girls and they'll always be in our and their brothers hearts. After we lost them I went back and forth between never wanting to try for another baby and wanting to get pregnant immediately, so we decided to not-not try. I'm so very grateful that we ended up getting pregnant almost immediately after we lost our girls because it's been very healing for us. It's given us a light/rainbow. Both of our boys were conceived before I had one cycle after m/c's, so we figure that maybe it's just how it works for us. With this pregnancy I had our girls on Oct. 30th and we went on vacation the week after, which ended up being a blessing. We DTD on Nov. 11th and that's all it took. I don't think I ovulated for almost a week after that, but I really have no idea, since we weren't trying. I will say that we're 1,000x times more grateful for our Rainbow babies and I don't think we'd have as much of an appreciation had we not had losses. We had our 12 week(11 weeks 5days) u/s last Fri, so I figured I'd go ahead and post. We can't wait to find out the gender, although we don't really care either way, we would kind of like a girl to join DS1 and DS2.
 



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## MizzPodd

Hi ladies... Very interesting last few days. Had my cervical length check appt. cervix had shortened and I was 1 cm dilated. I cme back that night becuz of pains in lower abdomen and back .... Monitored for hours pumped with fluids. Explained about preterm labor sent home. Next early morning went to get progesterone shot when three of my doctors informed me not eat or drink anything becuz they wanted to get a cerclauge.... Long story short they did one, and I'm recovering now. Just resting and takin some pain meds. Have appt next weeks with specialist... Oh goodness what an overwhelming unexpected turn of events. The spinal didn't even fully numb me so I could feel the procedure. It was very painful but I had a feeling the epidural wouldn't fully worked (happened with my mom lol). Anywho I took it like a trooper. During recovery I was having terrible contractions and it was mainly becuz I couldn't pee! My bladder was completely full but the numbing affect wouldn't wear off... So 6 hours later right when they were putting a catheter in I just started peeing right there in bed!! Lol it was awkward lol I peed for at least an hour... That's how much my bladder had filled. And the contractions went away almost instantly! They have me the meds to help prevent contractions along with pain meds.
My baby has been kicking me in the bladder and right on the middle ever since I emptied my bladder last night... I mean non stop. Lol so it is an uncomfortable sensation but I'm so glad everything turned out good. I had not expected this at all and I was so happy I didn't eat an early breakfast. It was like I knew they would operate that day lol

They will remove stitches at 36 weeks. I really pray this works and I end up going that long! I'm on my same bedrest so I feel confident this cerclauge will help me out a lot. I'm so thankful of my doctors becuz they moved so quickly and didn't want risk me dilating more or my cervix shortening more. I've never been in a hospital that every department is nice and kind. My experience was amazing as far as bedside manners goes. Before operation I had to get these heart tests becuz of my heart condition and my platelets checked because of me having gestation thrombocytopenia.... But everything was a go 
I'm officially with the IC ladies but I'm proud! Lol I have a cerclauge to help and I'm confident that it will get me to the 30 weeks at least 

Have a great weekend girls 

Tatormom- :hugs: so sorry for your losses sweetie. That's kinda why happened with me. We got pregnant the month after i delivered in July as well but we were also not not trying. This is a blessing and I'm glad you have your precious rainbow babies :)


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## nicola ttc

Tatormum - welcome. :wave: 
Sorry for your loss of Grace and Paige. Do you know the plan for this pregnancy? Will you have more checks? 

Mizzpod wow you have had an eventful few days! I'm glad they acted quivkly and gave you the cerclage. Combined with bedrest i'm sure you'll get way past that 30 week mark. PMA chick! :hugs:

Amjon - i'm glad all was good with the boys and that you got signed off work. :thumbup:

As for me, i'm feeling a lot happier and more positive today so think it was just a little wobble because of the scan and it being around the time of pregnancy i was admitted to hospital last time. 
It's Elliots 5th birthday tomorrow so we're off to a softplay centre for his party and family party on sunday. What's everyone else got planned for the weekend? 
Hope you're all well. :hugs:


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## MizzPodd

Thanks! :hugs: well my plans are to stay in bed and keep baby safe as possible :)
Just nervous a bit becuz of this being my first cerclauge... Trying to figure out what's normal and what's not as far as pain. But this is only the first day after so I guess I'm just anxious about when the spotting will stop and stuff.


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## dextersmum

hello ladies lots to catch up on I did pop on last night and start a message then pressed backspace to delete something and it look me off the message page??

Nicola glad you are feeling more positive - it is not unusual to have a worry or a nervous time every now and again in our position (unfortunately) but we are always here for each other and our dips :hugs:

Mizz it sounds like you went through alot this weekend but I hope what the hospital has now done for you is everything you need to get through this pregnancy and keep you and baby safe and well :thumbup:

tatormum so sorry for you loss of your baby girls welcome to this group we are a bunch of supportive ladies who are always here to help each other through a rainbow pregnancy :flower:

Sweet glad your sickness has gone and sorry to hear about the itching if it is not one thing it is another isnt it but it will all be worth it in the end when we hold our precious bundles in our arms and see them looking right back at us.

Amjon well you now have it confirmed that you are carrying 2 bundles of blue joy so you have plenty of time to get your head around that before they get here and now you need to sort out the second boys name :winkwink:

AFM I am feeling a little run down at the moment started with a sore throat and head cold at the weekend and also think I have thrush, and my cold and tiredness got worse yesterday and I was a little anxious today as there is no pattern yet to when I feel baby bubbles or odd movement and because I am not feeling great I decided I needed to go and see my midwife for her to find baby's heart beat just so I could hear it. I live 2 minutes walk from the centre so she was able to fit me in this morning and I heard jelly beans heart beat 144bmp and had a talk to the midwife and feel much better. I feel really bloated at times but my bump is not big or obvious but midwife said because I am tall and have a long torso I probably won't ever look that big because there is plenty of space inside me already lol. Even when I was 6 months with Dexter I didn't look that big (just fatter) so I guess this is something I will have to get used to. I can't wait until this baby is kicking and punching me so much that you can see their hand or foot print in my stomach that we I will be very reassured. Since listening to the heart beat jellybean has woken up and I have felt strong bubbles and movements. I am 20 weeks today and have my scan on thursday and am keen to know if baby is growing as s/he should be and confirming the sex so that we know for sure.

I am only working from home this week so I will make sure I am having plenty of rest and fluid and try and get myself feeling better so I have more energy.

hope every body has had a good start to their week xx


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## nicola ttc

Hi all :wave:
Sorry you're feeling ill Tracy but glad you were able to get seen by the midwife so quickly to get that reassurance. 
Oooh scan Thursday! Exciting. What do you think the gender is? Have you already ben told at a scan or is it a hunch you want confirmed? 

24 weeks tomorrow Mizzpod! :happydance: First milestone achieved!! :thumbup:

Lexi how are you? Haven't seen you on here in a while, hope everything is ok.:flower:

We have had a busy birthday weekend for Elliot so was looking forward to getting things done today as Alex is in pre-school all day but he wasn't feeling well so stayed home and has been clingy all day so have got next to nothing done. :dohh: Oh well.
How is everyone doing with thinking of names? I am sick of looking at them in name books!! We have a 'family list' that we all add to if we think of a name we like. Alex has an imaginary friend called Sally and he keeps telling me thats what his sister will be called. :rofl: Nope Alex, she won't. :nope:

Hope everyone is well.


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## dextersmum

Hi Nicola I have had a hunch from quite early on that this baby is a girl and my reiki lady told me she gets messages from spirits when I am there that I am carrying a girl?? at my 16 week scan the sonographer said she is not 100% sure but looks like a girl so will get it confirmed on thursday. I think we are almost there with a name but we will have to see what sex the baby is and then live with it for a while lol what about you have you and Nick agreed a name? or are you sticking with the family list? Are there any names that you have all agreed on yet?


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## TanglieBirdie

Hi ladies,
My name is Tarni. I am currently 21 weeks 1 day preggers with baby #2. Iam due june 10. But having an elective c-section at 38 + 3 on 30th may. 
Iam having a csection as during my angel bubs labor she got sholder dystocia and she was only 7lbs 4. So they dont want to risk it happening again. 

My first child was stillborn at 40 + 3 and then i delivered her at 41 weeks exactly on 25.02.2012 the day after my 24th birthday. Her name was Ava. Despite all the tests no cause was found for her passing. 

I found out iam having a boy this time. Iam terrified it will happen again. Ive got a different doctor this time and she is fantastic. Trying tl b positive that things will b ok this time but as you all know its hard. 

Im hoping its ok to join in this forum ive been readinh for a few days trying to catch up and thought id introduce myself. Would love to wrte more but iam on my phone and its a pain. Ill post properly shortly. 

Take care all. :)


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## nicola ttc

Hi Tarni :wave: welcome.
Of course it's ok to join. Sorry for your loss of baby Ava. It's natural to feel anxious, especially as it's coming up to Ava's 1year angelversary but we're all here to support each other. :hugs:


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## MizzPodd

Hiya Tarni! I'm so so very sorry for your loss :hugs: you have a wonderful attitude and you are strong mama :)

Hey everyone else.... I am 24 weeks today!!!!! Omg!!!!! Next milestone is 28 weeks for me. Can't wait til appt on Thursday! :D


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## dextersmum

Hi Tarni welcome to our group. So sorry for your loss of Ava, I love that name it is beautiful. We are alway here offering each other support and words of encouragement so feel free to post as often as you like. Have you decided on any names for your baby boy yet?

Mizz congratulations on the 24 week milestone that is my next one then I definitely want to get passed 28 weeks as that is when I had to have a c-section with my last pregnancy so am on a 10 week count down a week at a time of course.

Alex how are you doing sweetheart? hope everything is ok and baby is kicking up a storm in your bump


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## sweetbuthyper

Welcome to tarni , 

I'm felling off today dunno whats up jusy don't feel right probs coming down with something. i have decided i don;t like non scan weeks they seem to drag on for ever. I'm starting to get nervous now its only 2 weeks til my 20 week scan ( i have one next week as well at 19 weeks for my cervix) and 5 weeks til i'm at the stage when i lost nathaniel. Just hopeing my body behaves and i can make it past the 24 week mark only 6 weeks to go. goal after that is 28 weeks. 

decided we will start buying things after the 25 week mark but i dunno it may change if i don't feel happy then altho i have a feeling it will never feel 100% ok and we really need to buy stuff before baby arrives and preferably before i hit 30+ weeks in case of needing bed rest or anything else. My mum had bad preeclampsia and i have already had one reading with protien in so working on the basis that i will end up with bed rest at some point during the pregnancy and if i don't its just a bonus. 

Happy v day to mizzpod, keep that littleone cooking :) :hugs:

We have definate names now altho wont be telling family middle names as want them to be a suprise, i think i may change my mind. 

we have: 
boy : Alexander Anthony Keith Lomax 
and Girl: Gabrielle Eve Lomax 

Middle names for a boy are after my grandad who passed last year and simons uncle who passed 12 + years ago and girl is my grandma who is eva but i prefer eve. 

we were going to just have Alexander Keith Lomax for a boy but i think the one we have decided on flows better :) 

We will be shortening alexander to xander and will most likley end up using gabby as a short for for gabrielle in every day life with there longer names for forms and ect.


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## MizzPodd

Dexter- :hugs: I know how difficult and scary it must be to be coming close to that week. But I think you are taking it slow and that's good. Your angel is watching over your rainbow baby :hugs: 

Sweetbuth- I love the names! An it is cute how you already have them nicknames. That is how I will probably be with this baby. Oh and I completely understand the delay in buying things. I passed my angels delivery and week and that's when I felt safe to buy stuff so you take your time sweetie :hugs:

Everyone lets keep these babies cooking okay! Sending positive vibes to you a :D


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## dextersmum

hi sweet I am feeling pretty crappy today this head cold has really got a hold of my and my sinuses are blocked one minute and nose running the next and I am having trouble breathing through my nose which is making sleeping a challenge. I just tried to have a lie down with the dog as am feeling pretty tired and I couldn't breath he is fast asleep on the couch and I am not sat up on my laptop lol think it will be an early night for me after I have put my head over a bowl of steam.

I have had protein in my urine on at least 2 occassions but as it is a trace they midwife and consultant doesn't seem to be concerned. So you might just be the same and have nothing to worry about.

I know what you mean about non scan or appointment weeks they do seem to drag. At least you are still having fortnightly meetings I have gone to monthly now but will be visiting my midwife inbetween if I feel the need for reassurance and to listen to baby's heart beat.

I am definitely going to wait until after 28 weeks before looking at prams as I bought it at 27 weeks last time and my mum took it back for me when we lost Dexter. I think I only need to get the big things like pram, car seat, bouncer, video monitor as we have a lot of things from last time. Of course if I am having a girl I will buy a few more clothes but will go through Dexter's things and see what unisex things I have. I also think I will try to sell some of the boys clothes that I have got so that I have some money towards the other things I need.

I am feeling more movements now which is great and it feels like the baby is doing rolls in my stomach. Hubby thought he felt the baby last night when he had his hand on my stomach as we were falling asleep but I didn't feel anything so I am not sure if he did feel baby but I hope he did.

We will all be here to support each other through the difficult milestones which is a great help for me.

I can't remember sweet are you going to find out the sex of the baby or have a surprise?


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## MizzPodd

Is everyone sick?? I've been battling this sore throat and congestion for a few weeks now. I thought if I ignored it it would go away lol guess not!

Team yellow for me :D


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## dextersmum

Mizz I wish I could stay team yellow but feel like I need to know so that I can prepare myself especially as we have a bedroom for a baby boy and wardrobe full of boys clothes which we got for Dexter and if this is a girl I want to sort through Dexters things before I come home with this baby

I started with a sore throat before the weekend and tried to ignore it but it got worse and now I can't ignore that I feel ill because I can't breath lol


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## MizzPodd

Oh dex I completely understand :) I would find out if I had the room decorated and everything. I know that must be hard :hugs: you are being so strong :)
my hubby knows but I don't know so we are always joking around. I ask so how's our boy? And he'll say or girl. Lol
Don't you wish we could ignore the sickness and it slowly creeps away?? Omg at night is the worse for me and it hurts to breathe!


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## dextersmum

how come your husband knows Mizz and you don't?? will he be able to keep it to himself until the baby arrives lol

I am feeling a little anxious again today and can't wait for tomorrow to be here so I can have my scan and find out if everything is ok with Jelly bean I really need to know if it is growing because the movements are still not in a pattern or always that strong or consistent every day feels like something different. I hope that is normal but I can't help comparing with Dexter's pregnancy although I can't remember when I first started feeling strong movements with him I just remember there was a regular pattern and timings but again I got to 28 weeks with Dexter and I can't remember when the pattern started.... so many things to compare and I can't help it just wish I had wrote everything down in Dexters pregnancy as I have been doing this time.


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## sweetbuthyper

dextersmum we are hoping to find out we only have unisex stuff although i still have no clue what we do and don't have its been a year and a half and its been in storage so i can't see it so need to get it out in the next few weeks and find out. We are going to paint the babys room neutral mainly because we rent and are only allowed neutral but also because we want fx more kids after this one ( with how hard this pregnancy is turning out to be i think i must be crazy). so we would like to have coloured bedding ect altho in no rush to get any of the cot stuff until babys here as they will be in our room in the crib for 6 months. 

Also would like to get some non unisex clothes, pram wise i think i have decided on one but am holding out to see if it goes on sale at easter. We have bouncers and things altho need to test anything that makes noise to see if it works, and we have a baby monitor altho thinking of getting a new one it was second hand and doesn't work that great. 

my green notes says +protein, they didn't mention it so assume they weren't to concerned but its more than trace so will see next week if its altered. 

I am feeling alittle better today altho i have toothache its more annoyin than pain at the min and hoping it stays that way and really want to avoid any treatment til after beans born or at a push til after i'm 25 weeks if absolutly necessay, i know its meant to be safe but i had treatment a few weeks before loosing nathaniel and just not feeling happy with doing it. plus its my wisdom tooth and i always get dry socket so pulling it will mean tons of antibiotics and pain will be worse that the current niggle. 

Bean is still being quiet some days altho has decided he/she likes avenge sevenfold the band and was bouncing around when the oh had it on last night :) i don't think i had a pattern with nathaniel i had regular movement but don't remember a pattern so assume that comes after 23 weeks.


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## MizzPodd

Dex he wanted to know because what happened with our angel. When she was born we were told it was a boy so we thought for several weeks it was a boy. Everything is in a boys name like death certificate birth certificate and the ern. We still haven't got to get it changed up til this day. I designed a baby ern for her to be in becuz we couldn't stand seeing a boys name everyday we look at her. Idk how they gave us the wrong sex either. She was born living and everything. But this time I think it helps him have a peace of mind and helps him stay strong. It's only been 6 months since we lost her and we still have no closure becuz of their gender mix up :( we r working to get everything changed so we can move forward but when found out it was a girl, it felt like losing a another child all over again :( 

Hubby is opposite of me, I'm outspoken and wouldn't be able to keep it a secret but he has no problem. He's known for several weeks now lol it's fun teasing each other about it though lol

But I think it's normal for infrequent movement at your stage becuz my baby didn't start an actual pattern until around 22 weeks. Plus baby will be bigger in a couple of weeks and you will feel more distinct movements. Hope this helps :hugs: I know it's still hard tho and of course the scan reassures you. I have my appt tomorrow so I can't wait to see how cerclauge is doing and also to see if baby is growing on time still... Update on your scan appt and I'm sure everything will be okay!! :D :hugs:


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## Springflower

Argh, I'm really behind! Have had a quick catch up but will hopefully get a chance to come on here properly soon.

So just to fill you in on me. Went for a private scan to check baby/blood flow etc and she's fine!!!!!!!!!!! I'm furious with the consultant, he scared the crap out of me! But main thing is baby is fine and looking very average. Which is great I'll take that! Got my NHS growth scan on Friday where I hope they come to the same conclusion!

Bugger got to go, Indy is crying. Hopefully back in a bit. Sorry I havent got round to anayone. Feel a bit rude just talking about me!


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## nicola ttc

Spring that's great news!! Hope the consultant at the growth scan agrees. :thumbup:


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## _Lexi_

Sorry I've been awol for awhile. Been struggling a little the past week, and it was mine and the oh's anniversary at the weekend and went out for a lovely italian :) 

Spring, I'm glad your baby is average!! Think that's what we all want to hear!! Great news. Not so great the consultant scared you though. 

Mizz, we had the opposite to you last time, I found out but my oh didn't. He caved at 24 weeks though, so stay strong for your yellow surprise!! I really wanted to be team yellow, but I like to be prepared and need to know if we need to get our blue stuff out, or go girly shopping. We didn't have a nursery done last time, so would love to decorate a nursery this time. No rush though for that, they'll be in with us for a few months. 

Sweet, I hope your toothache goes soon. It's horrible. I know all to well the pain from wisdom teeth. What pram have you chosen? 

Dextersmum, scan day for both of us tomorrow :) what time is your appointment?? 20 weeks would be early to have regular movement patterns, don't think I had a specific pattern with Joshua until 25-27 weeks. I'm getting movement and kicks, but very sporadic. So I'm sure everything is fine with jellybean. 

I'm getting a bit nervous about tomorrow. Even though Joshua's 20 week scan was fine, still expecting something to be wrong. This pregnancy has been to plain sailing compared to my last!! Got my 24 week appointment through for 26th feb, that's the one I'll be really nervous for. We still haven't announced to many people/facebook. Maybe we just won't. Not sure. 

I'm starting to struggle with it being Joshua's birthday and angelversary next week. Not sure how I'm going to deal with it. Don't really know what to do to 'celebrate'/honour him. I miss him so much, I'm worried I won't bond with this baby as much because it's not Joshua :( 

Was a bit naughty today and moved some furniture round, but I've been asking the oh for over 2 months and it's always 'yeah, I'll do it in a minute...' and it just never gets done!! Had a job interview yesterday at a bridal boutique, I've wanted to work there for a long time, just think they won't employ me at 20 weeks pregnant :( getting bored not working, I need a hobby!! xx


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## MizzPodd

Lex- :hugs: I'm so sorry for your loss. He is beautiful (saw your profile pic) :)
I have no idea how to deal with an angelversary... Mine will be in July. Don't beat yourself up sweetie about not bonding. I've read from other women in this forum that their bindings came t different times and that it was normal to feel that way. I think once you see your rainbow baby and see their healthy, you will form that bond :) but please take your time sweetie. You are in a very bittersweet moment right now. Don't feel guilty because your angel is smiling at you and knowing how much you love him :hugs: I hope this helps you a little :)

With hubby, he's more excited that I don't know and I think that's another reason he hasn't said anything. :) we didn't get to set up nursery either last time and like your baby ours will be in our room for the first months anyway. Plus I want to help decorate nursery (on bedrest until delivery). So we agreed to work on nursery after baby is born :) but like dextersmom, I completely get why you want to know. I definitely would have found out too if I had all the new baby boy things. I pray this pregnancy takes you to full term :hugs:


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## Springflower

Right I'm back! 

Lovely to hear from you Lexi! I'm keeping everything crossed that your scan brings only good news. Scan are so stressful arent they? You just never know what the outcome will be. I really feel for you it being such a week next week. Its my girls birthday the week after and I'm starting to get very stressed about it too. I can't believe its nearly a year. She starting to feel so far away from me. I guess with all these "milestones" we get through them, but its hard. Are you doing anything? I think we will release some balloons, I like to do that and have a quiet day. We are holding a family birthday party for indya on the Sunday so I'm going to try and be happy for that.

Mizz - Ohhh you are good! I'm terrible if there's something to know I have to know it! I would be driving myself nuts trying to trick my hubby into telling me. Well done though, I'd love to be team yellow but just couldnt do it. The surprise must be amazing.

Sweet - Eugh, hate toothache! You have my full sympathy. I hope it eases up soon.

Dextersmum - So sorry to hear you've got the lergy. I constantly had a cold/sore throat thing for a few weeks and it really got me down. Hope it passes soon for you. I'm excited to hear what team you are on tomorrow and of course I hope all news is good. Really dont worry about feeling regular movements, I've only just started to feel them and I'm 27ws today. So I would try not to fret. Easier said than done I know!

Hi to Nicola and Amjon. Hope I havent missed anyone!

Ohh Nicola, you need to update the front page with your team pink! I love going there and seeing our rainbow babies. Makes me happy.

:kiss:


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## MizzPodd

Spring flower it is very exciting not knowing!! Most days I get the feeling it's a boy but then other days a girl! It's so crazy though because hubby just reacts the same with either gender I say. I just want a healthy full term baby :) 
You are going to be full term before you know it!! I'm 24 weeks so I have a while but I think time will fly by for us all in a good way! I know many women love being pregnant but I honestly want it to keep going by fast so I can be closer to meeting my rainbow baby :D


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## dextersmum

Mizz I can't believe the hospital messed up so much on the sex of your baby how can they get that worng?? I don't blame your husband for wanting to know at all.
I hope you are right and the rest of our pregnancy flies by. In a way I do feel like getting to 20 week has been fast but then in another way it has been slow with all the anxiety etc lol

Sweet sorry to hear about your toothache. I have been getting sensitive teeth on one side when I have hot food and I have a filling problem on the top right that I am hoping holds off as I know I can't get anything else done to it untl after giving birth.

Alex it is lovely to hear that you had a private scan and your baby is "average" because that is a lovely word and I am sure you will get that confirmation at your scan this week.

Lexi don't worry about not feeling bonded with this baby it will come especially when you get bigger and stronger kicks and find out what you are having and giving them a name and then holding them in your arms and don't forget this is a different pregnancy (my mantra for this pregnancy) and it is good if it has been plain sailing. Was there a point in Joshua's pregnancy that you were told things were wrong if we know that we can support you through that milestone? or was it only when he was born??
We just released a balloon for Dexter's birthday and I had a cry in the morning at the time he was born but I spent time talking to my husband and then Dexter and managed to get through the rest of the day. So just do what ever you and OH think is right for you.

My scan is at 9am tomorrow and my 24 week scan is on the 28th feb as always on a thursday as have a consultants apt afterwards. I have been getting some kicks tonight so feeling a bit more relaxed. I also feel a bit better today and hopefully my cold is going as I have not been having as much trouble breathing.

Nicola any new names on your list? Any names the children have suggested that you like? 

I have just watched OBEM did anybody else see it? there was a couple on who had a baby at 26 weeks previously who died at 12 days old and it was nice to see a good news story on the programme and listen to how she had dealt with pregnancy and see the birth. That will be all of us over the next 5 months I am sure xx


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## sweetbuthyper

cheers everyone the tooth has settled so fx it stays that way think its just sensitivity as i knocked a bit off it :shrug:

Lexi i like the look of the Jane slalom pro, we are thinking of getting the older model and not the new reverse as i'm not too fussed about the parent facing mode or the new brakes and they are the only difference and theres £200 difference. hoping to go play with it in mothercare in the next few weeks see if i like it and will most likely order online as its cheaper. 

hope everyon thats poorly feels better in the morning :hugs:


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## nicola ttc

Mizzpod, what's your due date so i can add you to the first page?
Tracy and Lexi, good luck for your scans tomorrow. Will be looking forward to updates!! :thumbup:


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## _Lexi_

My scans at 11.20, then 24week scan with my consultant on 26th, but might have to change it as the oh is meant to be interviewing some people for a managers job. 

At no point did they think things were as bad as they were. I went in to a&e at 23 weeks with reduced movement, dr there had a very old scan machine they keep for looking for clots, and just off handedly asked if I'd been told there was low fluid round baby. Was then rushed up to delivery (1.30am by this point) and had another scan and a nst. I was then back the next day, and from that point I was in seeing my consultant/midwife every other day. Twice a week they'd do doppler/blood flow checks, once a week for a growth scan, all whilst having nst's every time. Then went in one Friday, he said baby hasn't grown, and he'd deliver on the Monday at spot on 34 weeks. Had steroid injections the friday and Saturday, and had Joshua Monday morning. They thought he'd be fine, just little. After an hour, his heart stopped and took 20mins to resus him, and it was all downhill from there. Took them 4 hours to tell us there was a problem though, which I'll never forgive them for. It's 4 hours we could of spent with him. 

So really, I won't even be able to relax once this ones arrived. I've got a bit of an irrational fear of having to go onto the ward from delivery and oh being sent home. I'm terrified he'll be sent home and things will go wrong. He doesn't drive, so wouldn't be easy for him to get to the hospital during the night. Just don't know how to approach the subject with the hospital and if they'd give me a private room like they did with my c section. Oh stayed the whole 4 days I was in and only left for my mum to run him home and get clean clothes. The thought of going onto the ward alone, scares me more than labour. 

Sweet, we looked at some of the janes, some of them are really nice. We've just put a deposit down on an iCandy peach jogger. £200 is a huge difference for no massive changes?! 

I just watched obem too, had a few tears, but so lovely to see they got their rainbow x


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## amjon

Glad everyone's babies are doing good. For the tooth problems I would definitely get it worked on. I had a tooth that was bothering me (and I can't take my usual Aleve for the pain). I asked the MFM and she said it was perfectly fine to have it taken care of and gave me a note for the dentist. I went in yesterday and it's now feeling much better. They skipped the x-rays and only used certain pregnancy safe local. He only had the usual problem of getting me numb and keeping me that way, but it was still a small cavity, so it didn't take long to fix it. I've been really run down the last couple of days though. I don't think I'm really sick, just the twins stealing all my energy. It seems two at this point are much more tiring than one. (Part of it could be the anxiety too as they haven't been moving a whole lot lately, but I do feel them off and on.) I wanted to get the nursery paint touched up and things moved around so we can get the new carpet put in there, but it hasn't happened yet. DH will be home tomorrow night through the weekend, so I'm looking forward to seeing him. I'm hoping one of the babies will kick hard enough for him to feel. It's almost like I'm stalling in doing things I should be because of what happened to Taylor. I haven't even put anything in my pregnancy journal. I'm almost afraid to as I started doing one right away for our 2nd pregnancy and then he died too. :(


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## dextersmum

hello ladies well it is official we are team pink :pink: and are having a baby girl. The scan went well and everything is as it should be at this stage and jellybeans growth is good and fluid levels are correct etc etc so a huge sigh of relief for me. Saw baby moving around and trying to suck her thumb :cloud9:

I feel abit how you did Nicola after finding out the sex. On one hand I am really happy because it means my instincts were right and my mantra of "this is a different pregnancy" really fits but on the other it means I will now need to sort through Dexter's things and do something with them and also I kind of wanted Anthony to have a son that he sees grow up and I also wanted to bring up a boy and a girl.

I don't think it has helped me that my consultant (I actually got to see the right consultant today) has now told me that he strongly advises that I have an elective c-section due to the fact that my previous scar is higher than normal due to the thickness of my uterus during the last section because I hadn't gone into labour it hadn't thinned out. He said that due to my age and scar and timing of last pregnancy there is a 1 in 10 chance of problems with scar splitting etc. This freaked me out as last apt I was told I could consider VBAC (by another doctor and given leaflets to read about it) and I had decided that is what I wanted and now the decision is out of my hands. I don't mind having another section it is just the frustration of different DR's and consultants telling you different things at every appointment. And although I think this will probably be my last pregnancy I am not sure what having a c-section means for future pregnancies other than I will definitely have to have a section. He also mentioned sterilization??

I also got told today that I should be taking vitamin D due to my BMI and probably should already have been taking it???? why don't all the doctors and consultants work in the same way and do the same things??:wacko:

Lexi hope your scan went well too :hugs:


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## nicola ttc

Congratulations Tracy!! Welcome to team pink:laugh2:
A section doesn't mean you can't have any more babies, just that it will definitely be an elective section. I'm on my 5th....the main risk is uterine rupture where the scar is if you start contracting strongly which is why they schedule the section for 38 weeks.With every section the risk goes up but even after 4 it's still pretty low. Hope that helps!
How did your scan go Lexi?


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## dextersmum

Thanks Nicola

I know having a section doesn't mean no more babies it is just that I am 41 this year and they told us to wait 6 - 12 months after having Dexter before trying again so I am guessing it will be the same after the 2nd section. I am getting it into my head that it is about safety for me and jellybean. My consultant mentioned a week before my due date not 38 weeks but I am sure we will discuss it again in another of my 4 weekly appointments lol

Alex good luck with your scan tomorrow let us know how you get on.

Jellybean is definitely having a busy movement day and I am feeling stronger movements. She gave me 3 big kicks last night but stopped when her dad put his hand on my stomach


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## _Lexi_

Hey, we're also team pink!! Scan was brilliant. Really clear. She had a trainee in with her so was a really long scan as she was pointing out every tiny detail :) everything's looking fine at the moment, and we've just announced on facebook finally. x


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## dextersmum

Lexi congratulations on being team pink :pink: how do you feel about it being a girl??
So happy that your scan went well and they spent lots of time looking at the baby. What due date did they give you?
It looks like I will have my pink bundle before the 17th June with now having a planned section. Did you consultant saying anything to you about having a natural birth or c-section?

Have you decide names I can't remember from earlier conversations on here??


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## _Lexi_

My due date hasn't changed, so still 19th June. My consultants really happy for me to have a vbac as long as everything continues to go smoothly. He said the risk of uterine rupture is very slim, but I'll need intermittent monitoring, which means I can still labour in water, but won't be allowed to birth in water. I'm kind of relieved it's a girl, as means we wont be comparing to them to Joshua the whole time. Even went and bought some pink clothes today. We think we're going with Jessica Lily, but not 100% yet. We loved the name when I was pregnant with Joshua, so not sure if it's right to use that name or not. How about you?xx


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## dextersmum

Jessica Lily is a lovely name and I think it is nice to have it even if it was a girls name you picked when pregnant with Joshua. The name we have so far is also a name I liked for a girl when pregnant with Dexter.

So far we have Lexi Beth Walters. Elizabeth is my middle name but I have alway liked Beth so it is a compromise with hubby to have some of my name as Lexi's name as Dexter had John has his middle name with is hubby's middle name. But who knows we might change our minds lol

Lexi is having a quiet day so far as not much movement felt yet but she was very active yesterday so she must be having a rest. She is probably hiding in the back somewhere as I am screaming at the dog this morning as he is being a pain lol


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## _Lexi_

We chose Lily as my grandma was Elizabeth, but everyone called her lily, and Elizabeth is my mums middle name, we just thought Jessica Elizabeth is a bit long. Lexi is only my nickname, my names Sarah, but I do love the name. We considered it, but my best friend is Alexandra, and everyone calls her lex, so would be a bit much!! 

We're unsure on surnames. Joshua had nine, but me and my oh were going through some problems during my last pregnancy and I thought I was going to be a single mum for awhile. Also, he's divorced, and has two boys with his ex wife, and a daughter from a relationship before that, the three children and his ex wife all have his surname. I just feel that unless we're engaged and I know we'll get married, this baby should have my name too. I hate the thought that eventually, Joshua will be left out being the only one with my surname. I also don't know how easy it is to change a child's surname!! So confusing!! x


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## sweetbuthyper

Its easy to change surnames lexi, i changed mine after i left my ex husband as i hated having his name even tho i was double barrelled. 

https://www.deedpoll.org.uk/CanIChangeMyChildsName.html is how its done in the uk. 
slightly more long winded for a child than an adult but definatly not too difficult if thats the way you want to go


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## MizzPodd

Atomic my due date is May 21 :D although I've already been told I will be induced at 39 weeks if I get that far. :)

Scan and appt with MFM went good. She said I am maxed on everything as far as the docs helping me keep baby in. So now it's just a wait and see. Still get shots weekly and will have next appt feb 26 when I'm 28 weeks :)
Baby scan was good. Baby is 1 lb 8 oz! And growing right on time :) so I'm thrilled that I won't need a lot of appts before feb 26 :) no poking and prodding for awhile.
Also stich is tight and closed... Cervix short of course but stitch should hopefully hold until 36 weeks.
She said I'm still at extreme high risk for early labor but hopefully I will get to the late 30s weeks.
As far as my pre e, she said as long as my bp stays normal, I should be okay but if it starts getting high, they will want to induce right away. But I think I'm good with bp because it was mild with dd1 too


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## dextersmum

sarah I remember you telling me before that Lexi wasn't your name :thumbup:

isn't it funny that we are both using the same middle name but different variations :happydance:

what are your surnames couldn't you do double barrelled??

Mizz glad your apt went well what does MFM mean? my little Boy Dexter was only 1lb 10oz when born so I can't wait to be told this baby girl is bigger than that at one of my apt's although they have never mentioned weight before so I might have to ask.

On the subject of weight ladies are you being weighed at any of your apts? I have only been weighed at my first 2 consultants apts when they needed to know my weight for the fragmin injections I am taking. I have no idea what weight I have put on in fact I lost a few pounds the second time I was weighed lol should I get weighed at my midwife apts?

sweet how are you doing hun?

Alex hope your scan went well today let us know when you can :hugs:

I can't believe it is friday already this week seems to have passed quite quickly I hope the next 18 weeks pass quickly too :winkwink:


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> sarah I remember you telling me before that Lexi wasn't your name :thumbup:
> 
> isn't it funny that we are both using the same middle name but different variations :happydance:
> 
> what are your surnames couldn't you do double barrelled??
> 
> Mizz glad your apt went well what does MFM mean? my little Boy Dexter was only 1lb 10oz when born so I can't wait to be told this baby girl is bigger than that at one of my apt's although they have never mentioned weight before so I might have to ask.
> 
> On the subject of weight ladies are you being weighed at any of your apts? I have only been weighed at my first 2 consultants apts when they needed to know my weight for the fragmin injections I am taking. I have no idea what weight I have put on in fact I lost a few pounds the second time I was weighed lol should I get weighed at my midwife apts?
> 
> sweet how are you doing hun?
> 
> Alex hope your scan went well today let us know when you can :hugs:
> 
> I can't believe it is friday already this week seems to have passed quite quickly I hope the next 18 weeks pass quickly too :winkwink:

MFM is a maternal fetal specialist/ perinatologist. They normally work in conjunction with a regular OB as they don't normally do delivery. I have both an OB and MFM (though I see the MFM FAR more and will throughout the pregnancy). The MFM usually has the most up to date equipment. I know my insurance pays $600 per appointment, so they are very expensive. 
I've been weighed at every appointment by all of my doctors, but they haven't really mentioned anything about it except to tell me to gain 30lbs near the beginning (but don't really see that happening as I'm still down 4lbs).


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## sweetbuthyper

I'm doing really well :) sickness seems to have returned tho so finding it hard to eat which would be fine but if i miss a meal i pass out :shrug: so making my self eat. 

My scan is tuesday so hoping the next few days pass quickly, so i can see bean is ok. 

bean is only really very active at night at the moment at 11 to 1 in the morning but i am feeling at least one kick every few hours so all good. 

As for being weighed i'm weighed at all my appointments seems to be hospital policy to weigh at clinic appointments and midwife is just carrying it on when i see her, although they may have a heart attack when they see my weight drop next week as they weighed me with big winter boots on so i gained like 2kg :shrug: i'm weighing at home as well coz i'm nosy and i've not gained anything i paniced a bit when i saw i'd gained 2kg before checking at home and realising it was just my boots adding the weight i usually take my shoes off when they weigh me i just couldn't be bothered to fight to unlace my boots. 

last timne i weighed i was still down 4lb on my start weight. anyways back to the question unless you start off over weight i don't think its uk policy to weigh at midwife appointments that said i was only weighed at clinic appointments and not midwife ones when i was pregnant with Nathaniel so it probs varies from area to area. If your concerned you could always ask to be weighed i'm sure they wont mind.


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## dextersmum

thanks for the explanation Amjon. I can't believe how much they charge for appointments. What do you do if you don't have insurance? Does your insurance go up when you have had baby loss etc? I am so glad we have free NHS I know I moan about the lack of consistency with my consultant appointments but at least its free and I get my perscriptions free with a maternity exemption certificate I have had one for over a year know and this one runs out next June so get free dentist apts to.

Is anybody craving anything at the moment? I am loving bacon flavoured crisps. I am really missing prawns and medium rare steak and runny eggs lol. I am sat watching my husband drinking a big glass of wine (I have actually just stolen a sip whilst he is out of the room) I told him he should only be drinking and eating what I am allowed to and me supporting me whilst pregnant he just laughed at me.

I said to hubby tonight that Miss Lexi Beth had been quiet today and he looked at me strangely and said what did you say? When did we agree the middle name??? seriously he is driving me mad not listening we have had several conversations about and I even mentioned it too him straight after the scan yesterday when we found out jellybean is a girl??

sweet my sickness returns but I don't think I have had it as bad as you as it has never stopped me eating lol


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> thanks for the explanation Amjon. I can't believe how much they charge for appointments. What do you do if you don't have insurance? Does your insurance go up when you have had baby loss etc? I am so glad we have free NHS I know I moan about the lack of consistency with my consultant appointments but at least its free and I get my perscriptions free with a maternity exemption certificate I have had one for over a year know and this one runs out next June so get free dentist apts to.
> 
> Is anybody craving anything at the moment? I am loving bacon flavoured crisps. I am really missing prawns and medium rare steak and runny eggs lol. I am sat watching my husband drinking a big glass of wine (I have actually just stolen a sip whilst he is out of the room) I told him he should only be drinking and eating what I am allowed to and me supporting me whilst pregnant he just laughed at me.
> 
> I said to hubby tonight that Miss Lexi Beth had been quiet today and he looked at me strangely and said what did you say? When did we agree the middle name??? seriously he is driving me mad not listening we have had several conversations about and I even mentioned it too him straight after the scan yesterday when we found out jellybean is a girl??
> 
> sweet my sickness returns but I don't think I have had it as bad as you as it has never stopped me eating lol

No the insurance can't go up if you've had it for something. Sometimes they can exempt things for pre-existing, so if you cancel your insurance and try to get new they wouldn't cover it. Mine is 100% employer paid, so it's nice, but when I stop working for good we'll have to probably pay for mine (unless we can convince DH's employer to pay for the whole family, which we're trying, but don't know if we'll be successful). My prescriptions are also quite expensive, but I'm lucky that insurance covers a great deal of the cost. I probably pay out about $200/ month now. My one prescription for the blood thinner is $800/month, but I only pay $8 for it as it's generic. :) (My blood testing strips are actually the most expensive prescription I have now.) I have a different insurance I have to pay for dental, but still end up having to pay quite a bit out of pocket. I had to pay $125 for a cleaning and $105 for one small filling with my insurance. DH and I have had the naming issue also. I thought we had agreed on two boy names during our second pregnancy, but then he decides he wants baby B to have an Indian first name (Sai and Ram were two he mentioned). I told him flat out it wasn't happening. HE is actually the one that picked the second name also. He's now agreed to that name again with his name as the middle name (which is what I wanted anyway). So, we're set on names again. :)


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## sweetbuthyper

Dextermum, i'm craving salt and vinegar or plain french fries, kfc and steak at the min, have to admit i am eating my steak medium rare/ medium have decided my need for iron out weighs risk of food poisoning. 

you can eat prawns last time i looked as long as there hot all the way through. runny eggs is still a no although shouldn't really be as samonellia is vacinated against in uk hens hence the lion stamp.


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## MizzPodd

Amjon beat me to the punch lol :) but she's right. 
In my case though I am military affiliated so the expense is paid through tricare 100%
My MFM took on my case because of all the red flags. They are considered higher up from OB docs and delegate wht their recommendations for you are. Fortunate for me, she said the ob docs are doing exactly what she would be so the appt was positive. They referred me to her to get a more insightful look at my case, and then would follow her plan of care. She was a very nice and compassionate person.

I've gained a good amount of weight lol 15 pounds maybe. They weigh me every appt but I ask them not to tell me. 

I've been craving chocolate ice cream, cereal, and meat! Lol but my diet is very balanced and I've started my GD diet just in case I get it again. I'm hoping to avoid having to take insulin this time. But I'm really hoping to avoid getting GD all together. Don't need another red flag! :)


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## dextersmum

amjon are you keeping your names a secret until the boys are born??

I have been eating hot prawns but I miss just being able to eat prawns out of the fridge hubby bought some today and if I want some I will have to heat them up and watch him just eat his out of the packet lol

I went for a reiki session today and felt very calm and relaxed and I think the baby liked mummy in that state as I could really feel her presence either in movement or a weight in my stomach. The reiki lady said she felt lots of pink around my stomach which symbolises love and protection she said baby is very protected by lots of spirits and I have to start to love this pregnancy and myself so that is something for me to work on over the next 18 weeks.

I bought my first pink clothes today just 2 outfits with a voucher I had in my purse and my mum brought round 2 big backs full of baby girls clothes that she had got from the charity shop she works in and to be honest I loved them but it took my breath away seeing so much pink and not the blue clothes from Dexter's pregnancy - something else to get used to.

I wondered what your thoughts were on the baby's bedroom. We had decorated Dexter's room blue with red, white and blue border with nautical theme and have the bedding from toys r us to match. I want to keep the bedroom the same so that Lexi has something of her big brothers but put more red in there with curtains and wall stencilling etc. What do you think? would you completely change it into a little girls room??


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## dextersmum

hello ladies hope you are all having a nice weekend. I have had a few tears this afternoon as I decided to go into the nursery and look through Dexter's clothes to see what we have that is unisex and what boys things I need to start moving out of the drawers to replace with girls clothes and I couldn't stop myself crying when I saw Dexter's premature baby clothes and the tops I had bought in the new year sale last year and just thinking that he didn't even get to wear them. Hard but it needs to be done as Lexi can't go round wearing all her brothers clothes for the next 2 years lol


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## Springflower

Big huggies Tracy. :hugs: We are lucky in that I hadnt really bought anything for the girls and things I had I hadnt decided whose was whose. So haven't had that problem and the same with the nursery. We had just finished it when Marnie got sick and then when she died we changed the room around and took down her cot. I'm not sure yet if we will use it for Dot. I don't think there is anything wrong with keeping or changing Dexter's room. Do which ever feels right for you. Good on you for buying some pink! Thats so exciting!! We havent bought anything yet. But it's different I think as we already have Indya and are having another little girl, so not much to buy.

I'm thinking of co sleeping with this lo. What are people's thoughts on that? She won't be lying in the bed with me but am thinking of getting a co Sleeper. When we finally bought Indya home I was too frightened to have her in the moses basket and she hated it. I think becuase she had been in a see through cot for so long she wasnt used to it. Also our alarm kept going off in the moses basket so it was too stressful. So she slept in my arms at night which isn't ideal and I didnt really sleep. This time I would love to bf so want her near for that and want her near so I stay sane. 

While I remember scan was ok I think on Friday, they still think shes small but ok small if that makes sense. The cow bag wasnt giving anything away though and kept saying I needed to talk to the cons on Monday. Grrr!

Right gotta go, need to give oh instructions on what luzocade drink to get me for the GDT on Monday - lovely!

:kiss:


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## dextersmum

thanks Alex we have decided to keep the room as it is and add some colourful stencil work on the wall. I have found some things on amazon such as baby's name with butterflies round it (butterflies remind me of dexter so I like that a lot) and there is a A-z stencil with the same colours as the border with more red in it so I will buy these and see what they look like and take it from there as the other option is to paint over the blue in pale lemon

I am so glad your scan went ok on friday they probably mean baby is in lower pecentile for size I think if there was anything to really worry about they would have made you see the consultant on friday?? let us know how you get on tomorrow.

Is the GDT the diabetes test? I have to have that at 28 weeks.

What is co-sleeping? is that where one side of babies cot is open and you can touch her from your bed or when baby is in your room? I will be having the baby in our room in a moses basket. you never know Alex this baby maybe ok in the moses basket in your room which means you won't have to sleep with her in your arms


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## Springflower

The nursery sounds lovely Tracy. When it's done you must post some pics. I think it's nice to keep some of Dexter's room and the butterflies will look after your little lady. We aren't planning on doing a room for Dot yet. The first 6 months she'll be in with us anyway. And after that we will need to do a reshuffle. We arent planning on putting her in with Indya. As I'm hoping to have Indya sorted with sleep and dont want her to get distubed. So think this little lady will move to a room which is curently a study so will need to move that somewhere as Gaz often works from home. Also we might have an extension built so don't want to do a nursery then chnge things. But I have to admit I'm starting to want to get sorted.

I think co-sleeping can mean in your bed with you, in a cot which has a side which is open so you can reach for the baby and some ppl say it for being in the same room. Although personally I wouldnt call that co-sleeping. I'm determined not to have this lo in the bed with me as I didnt really sleep and I was terrfied of the sad stories you hear. I think I'm going with a cot with the side down which wll attach to the bed. I don't think we'll have a moses basket. It sounds silly but now I really dislike them, they make me sad. We bought ours for the girls to share at the start but only Indya went in it. I then sold it on ebay as I hated having it in the house. I don't think there's anything wrong with them they just have a bad assoication for me. We will definatley be getting another movement alarm for this lo as it's been a lifesaver for us. It's really helped with our fears and for peace of mind I want the same again.

Yes I think this lo is hopefully just a little bit small, seeing the cons tomorrow and hopefully will get a straight answer from him. She is strating to kick more which is lovely, so different from a twin pregnancy. By now my knees really hurt and I was huge, but this time I feel fine. Its just hard having to carry Indya all the time.

Yes its the diabetes test tomorrow. Am really happy as this test is the 1 hour one. Last time I had to fast for 12 hours, eugh! This one is at 28ws altough I wont be 28ws until Wens, but I don't want to have to get down to Brighton twice in a week!

Ohh while I remember Gaz and I have been really brave. We've traded in our Audi 3 door for a proper family (estate) car with 5 doors. So thinking about it we have bought something!

Wish me luck girls tonight is our 2nd night of trying not to give Indy a night feed. Would be lovely to have her sttn before this lo arrives!

Hope everyone is doing ok. This probably sounds silly but I love checking our 1st page and seeing babies there, makes me feel that just maybe everything will be ok.:hugs:


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## nicola ttc

Just saw Ich had her baby. Ticker says 1week 6 days ago, called Jonathan so if you still read this thread Ich, congratulations!!
Tracy i think the nursery sounds lovely. The butterflies (will they be pink?) sound great too. I love butterflies and dragonflies for the same reason. :hugs: Lexi Beth is a beautiful name.
I am going crazy looking at names!! I am so desperate to have a name for this baby in case she does arrive early but not loving any at the moment! :nope:
Had a mini meltdown tonight as i haven't felt her kivking so much today but got the doppler out and heard hb and lots of kicks so she must just have moved. Still worrying though. 
Lexi - congrats on team pink! Love the name, Jessica is one of my favourites but oh's friend has a jessie and he thinks it's too similar.
Spring great news the scan went well. Hope alls good atthe consultant appointment tomorrow. I'm sure it's just a petite little lady. :thumbup:
How is everyone else?


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## nicola ttc

Here is my family list. I rewrote it as some were unreadable and didn't include cat-in-the-hat or batgirl for obvious reasons :haha:https://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u620/nicolabird/20130203_220228_zps86ccea0b.jpg


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## nicola ttc

Note that Peppa (pig), Minnie (mouse), Rainbow, Boo (from monsters inc), 'hello' Kitty, Ramona (from film Beezer and Ramona) and Sally (alexanders imaginary friend) are still on the list so i'm not completely unreasonable with their suggestions!! :rofl:


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> amjon are you keeping your names a secret until the boys are born??

I think we're going to wait awhile (not sure if til after birth yet or not). With Taylor I told some even before we knew she was a girl for sure. My mom kept trying to get me to change her name, so if we don't tell them til after they are here she won't be able to do that. ;)


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## MizzPodd

Nicola Boo is a cute namelol Monsters Inc is my go to movie when I need to be cheered up. Lol
Ramona is pretty ( I have all the books from when I was little)


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## dextersmum

Nicola I just read out some of your "character" names to Anthony and we both giggled glad we haven't asked any young children their suggestions or were these Nicks suggestions lol. You have some names on your list that I had. I love Freya but Ant doesnt like it. I love Lucy but one of Ants daughters has a 1/2 sister called Lucy so that is a no go and I always loved Jessica when I was younger but think I have outgrown it now. We had Georgia, Madison and I like both of these. The one that jumps out at me from when you first said it is Evie I think that is beautiful. Will Nick let you have your own way or will you have to agree?. It got to the point that as soon as I mentioned a name if Ant said he liked it I kept repeating it and adding a middle name to it to test it out until I convinced him that he had agreed lol.

Amjon we decided to share the name so that people have time to get used to it and if they don't like it tough. We had a few strange looks when we told people Dexters name but every body said how well it suited him once he arrived. My dad did make me laugh because even after Dexter was born he said to my mum "does she not want to call him Aaron" - No dad we have already called him Dexter.
Everyone has said they love the name Lexi and my mum loves that I am using Beth as an abbreviation of my middle name.

Who knows when our babies arrive we might decide to give them a completely different name :winkwink:

went to the pelvic girdle pain clinic tonight and had a group session with 6 other ladies. It was a right laugh the lady told us we can't hoover, mop, pick up anything heavy, push shopping trolly, have sex in missionary position with legs spread apart, mustn't cross our legs and should be sat on a bouncy exercise ball and do 3 lots of pelvic floor exercises every day and sleep surrounded by about 6 extral pillows and if there is no room in the bed for hubby tell him to sleep else where. And even if we do all this there is no way of getting rid of pgp it just helps to be less painful :haha:
I am so glad I only get it every now and again and not like some of the other ladies that were there.

Nicola I know what you mean about melt downs when you dont feel the baby move so much I swear my little girl has an active day followed by a quiet day followed by a relaxing day then active day and so the cycle begins and I am sat there talking to her asking her to boot the hell out of me. She has been really active since the clinic today I think doing the pelvic floor exercises got her moving :thumbup:

when is your next apt Nicola?

have you all thought about what prams you are going to get?? we started looking on saturday.

Last question is anybody going to have a 3/4D scan? I looked at them when pregnant with Dexter but he was born before I had chance to get it done and I am looking into it this time but hubby thinks it is expensive :dohh:


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## sweetbuthyper

well i feel awful had a scan today baby is fine but my body is starting to fail, cervix lenght dropped to 2.6 and starting to funnel booked in for a stitch tomorrow fx it all goes well for me and bean who was confirmed as being blue today x


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## dextersmum

sweet congratulations on your blue bundle it is nice to see a boy amongst all the pink of the rest of us lol are you sticking with the name Alexander (xander for short). How are you feeling about it being a little boy?

don't think of it as your body failing at least the professionals have been keeping an eye on you this time and there are things they can do I have heard good success stories with the stitch and fingers crossed it is all you need to keep your little boy safe and well growing inside you :hugs: I am sending you positive vibes and good luck wishes sweet

I went for a pregnancy massage and facial today that my sil bought me for christmas. I think my back must have plenty of knots in it as it was very tender in places and I didn't find the massage bed very comfortable to lie on either :wacko: think I will stick with my reiki as it doesn't hurt :winkwink:


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## sweetbuthyper

mixed feelings on it being a boy really we expected it they thought he was when we asked at 16 weeks but it still feels strange after loosing Nathaniel to be expecting another boy, also i guess with the news things may not be ok its hard. trying to stay possitive my cervix is still fairly long and they have caught it early. we will be sticking with Alexander as his name still hard to get excited think its going to take till at least 25 weeks before i feel positive about being pregnant.


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## Springflower

Oh big hugs Sweet, but as you said they have caught it early. I too have heard good things about the stiches. I know you will be feeling frightened, I would too. Hang in there, with any luck the stitch will get you a lot further. :hugs:

Nicola - I like your names esp the ones inspired by childrens tv! We asked our nieces for some suggestions and got some similar ones! You've got my fav on your list, Lara. I think that may be what we go for, although oh suggested Cassie yesterday which I quite like.

Tracy - I'm funny with massages, sometimes I end up wishing I can get out! I'm a big facial fan. They dont hurt!

Amjon - Totally get why you arent telling your mum. We didnt tell people until we had the gilrs and still my family felt the need to comment. They wont be doing that again!

AFM saw the cons yesterday. I have a small baby but she's growing fine so they arent worried. I dont feel that great but I know I wont until she is here an safe. So seeing him again in 2 weeks and he'll give me a quick scan, then 2 weeks after that I've got a proper scan and see him after. I feel a bit funny about this as next Wens is the anniversary of the girls birthday and I can't quite see me getting further than that at the moment. I'm finding having exactly the same due date a bit of a head f%$k!


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## dextersmum

a milestone date is always harder Alex esp the lead up and I am not surprised you are in a head F%&k with the same due date. You have got plenty of regular apts and scans which will hopefully give you reassurance every couple of weeks

I am sure once you get passed the birthday you will be a bit more relaxed about dates as you will have got through a big milestone. Unfortunately the next milestone for us to then both get through before our rainbows arrive is the angelversary which are 2 days apart for our angels so I will be here supporting you :hugs::flower: and just believe that our angels are looking after their siblings and will get us through this


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## Springflower

I know, it's coming isn't it Tracy. I'm dreading it. I don't want it to be a year, I want so bad for her still to be here. 

We'll hold each others hands and get through it. 

xxx


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## MizzPodd

Sweetbuth- don't know if you read my post from a while ago but I got the stitch at 23 + 2 days becuz of cervix being 1 cm dilated 2.0 cm long, plus funneling.... Well I am 25 weeks exactly today and everything is still good. This was the last resort and they literally sprung this on me last minute. There are so many success stories with women who have gone full term :) that's what I plan on doing. Mine gets removed at 36 weeks. So please don't worry sweetie... I think I would be having pre term labor again right now if it wasn't for the stitch. :hugs: they want me to get to at least 28 weeks and that's my current goal. And I just started feeling happier about pregnancy now that I'm 25 weeks and I'm sure you will too! :) just try to relax and think about the positive stuff :) and they caught it at a great time too, so your chances are extremely high that the stitch will be a success.


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## MizzPodd

For me it's a date I'm dreading my Chrisna Arianna was born on July 5th at 1am and I was in labor from the morning of July 4th. Being from US that's a big holiday celebration for most but for me that's something I will never look at the same again. I dislike that holiday and won't be celebrating it. I will be celebrating my daughters angelversary... My hubby agreed that it will be a quiet day for just us in celebrating her. 
It's a week after my moms wedding date and its all overwhelming becuz I'm expected to be happy for her and act like nothing's wrong but of course I will thinking of my angel! Oh it's all confusing!


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## amjon

Is anyone else's DH showing anxiety? DH was crying when he was here this weekend and I finally got out of him that he's worried about the boys. He doesn't have the reassurance of feeling them kicking (or for the past month going to the U/S). I tried to assure them if they are kicking me they are fine (and I go to both my OB and MFM this week).


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## sweetbuthyper

my husbands worried but he has a reason to be with me going into surgery tomorrow


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## Springflower

Sweet, i hope the stitch has gone in fine and you arent too uncomfortable.:hugs:

Amjon - My oh is nervous but he's hasn't cried. He's only really cried once and thats when we lost Marnie. But I know he's just as frightened as me.

Mizzpod - Its so difficult when our milestone dates are on special days. We are the same, although for us the girls were brn on valentines day. So it's not a celebratory day where everyone is out having fun, but I get the "warm up" for ages before hand with all the cards and ads on the telly.:hugs:

No real news to report from my end. I'm now 28ws, last night and today have been feeling really crampy. Trying to remain calm and telling myself its normal. :wacko:


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## _Lexi_

Today is Joshua's 1st birthday. We got drenched in a hail storm when we went up to his tree at the crematorium. We've left him a train set and some balloons, and some fresh flowers. Been a very emotional day. Missing him so so much. I'll come on properly and read through posts in the next day or so. Tomorrow, (or just gone midnight tonight, 12.27am) is the time that Joshua grew his wings and left us. x


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## Springflower

Hey Lexi 

I saw your other thread. I'm so sorry hunny, big big hugs. I haven't gone through a 1st birthday yet but I'm sure it's very painful. 

Thinking of you and your family.

xxx


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## Krippy

Thinking of you Lexi~! Happy Birthday Joshua!


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## dextersmum

thinking of you Lexi (sorry I wasn't online yesterday) it sounds like you did some lovely things for Joshua's birthday and I bet he and his friends are looking at his new train from the clouds. I hope today is as gentle as it can be - 2 tough milestones to get through :hugs:

Amjon, like Spring the only time I have seen my husband cry was the day Dexter passed and when ever I have a wobble and tell him I am anxious or worried he doesn't join me in the wobble he tries to say something to reassure me. I like you am telling hubby all the time when baby is kicking or moving and keep grabbing his had to feel my belly but as yet he hasn't been able to feel her. My hubby has gone to the other extreme and instead of saying he is worried about this baby he is talking about us having another one next year :wacko: which has come as a complete shock as he always said he only wanted 1 more child when we first met - I am not sure if this is his coping mechanism not because he is worried about this baby but so there is another possible plan?? I think it is good that your husband has cried in front of you and opened up about how he is feeling because at least you can talk about it. It must be hard for him because you are not in the same state at the moment and he must having feelings about that too :hugs:

Sweet I hope everything goes well in your surgery. Do you have to stay in hospital once you have had it done? from what I saw on a birthing programme that I watch they are able to see on the scan where the stitch is and if it is ok so is that what they will be doing for you??

AFM I had really sore lower back pain yesterday think it was aggrevated by the massage I had because I hadn't done anything else strenuous the day before. Luckily I had a bump belt from the PGP clinic (it is a big piece of tubergrip) and it goes from my bum to my boobs and it made it bearable and really enhanced my bump lol. It has eased off a lot today but still have the bump belt on until the pain has gone completely. I will try to post a photo as I took another one


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## sweetbuthyper

hey guys i'm home now

suture was a sucess altho apparently my cervix was very short , its in now tho and the contractions i had yesterday are under control. I am quiet uncomfortable as i predicted due to my spine curve they had problems getting the spinal in it took 5 attempts and they were ready for putting me under when it finally took. I've stopped bleeding, have mild cramps but thats it fx all stays well

I am on progesterone supositorys and nifelexine sp? to keep the contractions under control. have to have my blood pressure checked daily by midwife altho thats not going so well yet as i couldn't get hold of her and when she rang back the doctors didn't tell her to ring my mobile as requested as the house phone is rubbish and dead, so i missed her call hospital is going to try getting her in the morning but i will also try.

being reviewed at my 20 week scan next tuesday and it should fx all being well stay in now till the 10th june


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## dextersmum

sweet glad you got your stitch in place fingers crossed everything will progress as it should do now and baby will grow big and strong and stay put until June.

I have been back to the doctors today I think I have thrush again. I am getting really fed up with having this it seems to be every couple of weeks so got another pessary and have to go back next week to check if everything is ok. Had a swab taken to check it is nothing else. Again so glad I get free perscriptions otherwise I would be skint lol

back is much better today so hopefully that episode has passed now


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## dextersmum

trying to add a 21 wk bump photo so hope it works. It might not be facing the right way but I am sure you can twist your necks to see it lol

ok it won't let me do it :cry: it keeps saying the file is too large even when I have sent it small from my phone?? any ideas how to do it


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## nicola ttc

Do you have photobucket Tracy? Send the pic to photobucket then where it says 'see links' click on the url one and it will save the link which you then copy in here. That's how i put mine on and is pretty simple on a phone or laptop. Hope that helps!
Sweet i'm glad the cerclage went well, fingers crossed now baby will stay cooking for quite a while longer. :thumbup:
Not much time for an update as it's school run time. I have been busy clearing out drawers and cupboards - think nesting is kicking in early as i really want to feel cleaned and tidied and prepared for her arrival - or for other people to manage here ok with the kids if i have to be in hospital for any reason. Just past experience telling me to get ready i guess.:shrug:
I am getting lots of proper kicks and prods now which is lovely. I am even considering lending my doppler to a 9 weeks pregnant friend as i hardly use it now.:happydance:
Right, off to get littluns now. Hope everyone is well.:flower:


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## sweetbuthyper

hey all i'm doing ok had a bit of a scare yesterday had some brighht red bleeding went to hospital and got checkd, stitch fine, baby fine and all the cramping i had before the bleed disappeared, they wanted me to stay in however they put me on the maternity ward full of ladys in early labour and i signed my self out, mainly because i felt the stress of being in out weighed any risks of me going home. It took them 3 hours to get a doctor to come see me by which time i had stopped bleeding for over 2 1/2 hours and an hour to get discharged, so i'd not had bleeding for 4 hours nearly when i left,

midwifes been this morning blood pressure slightly lower than usual but is fine, i really stressed with the hospital tho, i was ment to have heparin on the wednesday night, my chart says it was signed for but i never recieved it, asked midwife about complaints shes going to bring me a form but tried to fob me off with they were busy blah blah, and it will have had no effect, well hang on the consultant went to a lot of effort to find my drug card ect after surgery to prescribe the heparin in the first place, if it wasn't needed she wouldn't have bothered, just praying its not had an effect, and a bit teary about it really, i'm wondering if the bleed was because i lost a clot or something that shouldn't have been there midwife has said it wont be and any bleed will be from the cervix or womb ( which apparently if i stayed they would have checked which is bull as they planned to discharge me first thing anyways and mentioned nothing about a scan)

feel like they are trying to fob of me complaining as me just over reacting but anything could have happened if i had clotted and shouldn't have.


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## dextersmum

sweet so sorry to hear about your rough time at the hospital you should persist with your complaint because it is not good enough that they were busy if that is a drug you should have been given. Don't these people realise we have been through enough heartache and just wanted to be treated with some compassion. I hope everything settles down for you and you are able to relax a little and not have as many things to stress you out.

Nicola I have sent my photo as an email from my phone to my laptop and tried to add it as an attachment but it keeps saying flie is too large even when I make it smaller??

Glad your little pink bundle is giving you lots of kicks and prods Nicola I have days like that and the odd quiet day and today is a very quiet day so far so I am trying not to get freaked out I keep asking her to move. When I told my husband not sure if I had felt her move his answer was "its the weekend she is having a lie in" men really don't get it sometimes do they.

I have got bright red cheeks at the moment and they are burning. I get this sometimes does anybody else get it where their face is really hot??

right off to do some tidying and cleaning and hopefully jellybean will give me a few good kicks as I am doing it


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## sweetbuthyper

i get bright red hot cheeks usually when stressed or my temp is slightly high. I'm feeling a lot better now i have calmed a bit, have the same midwife who tried to fob me off tomorrow but then see the one i hate ( she fobbed me off then i lost nathaniel on monday) that should be fun luckly its just for a blood pressure check so should be quick.


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## dextersmum

sweet I am glad you are feeling calmer and better today. just take some deep breath's before the midwife arrives and tell yourself it is only for a quick visit.

I think I have felt some baby movements today but nothing really strong and I am trying not to get freaked out which is easier said than done


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## amjon

sweetbuthyper said:


> hey all i'm doing ok had a bit of a scare yesterday had some brighht red bleeding went to hospital and got checkd, stitch fine, baby fine and all the cramping i had before the bleed disappeared, they wanted me to stay in however they put me on the maternity ward full of ladys in early labour and i signed my self out, mainly because i felt the stress of being in out weighed any risks of me going home. It took them 3 hours to get a doctor to come see me by which time i had stopped bleeding for over 2 1/2 hours and an hour to get discharged, so i'd not had bleeding for 4 hours nearly when i left,
> 
> midwifes been this morning blood pressure slightly lower than usual but is fine, i really stressed with the hospital tho, i was ment to have heparin on the wednesday night, my chart says it was signed for but i never recieved it, asked midwife about complaints shes going to bring me a form but tried to fob me off with they were busy blah blah, and it will have had no effect, well hang on the consultant went to a lot of effort to find my drug card ect after surgery to prescribe the heparin in the first place, if it wasn't needed she wouldn't have bothered, just praying its not had an effect, and a bit teary about it really, i'm wondering if the bleed was because i lost a clot or something that shouldn't have been there midwife has said it wont be and any bleed will be from the cervix or womb ( which apparently if i stayed they would have checked which is bull as they planned to discharge me first thing anyways and mentioned nothing about a scan)
> 
> feel like they are trying to fob of me complaining as me just over reacting but anything could have happened if i had clotted and shouldn't have.

Have they put you on bed rest? The MFM told me that if you have a cervix that is shortening they put you on bed rest with the cerclage to keep the pressure off of it. If not, I would just put myself on it. It wouldn't hurt anything.


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## amjon

Thought I'd post an update. I've been feeling crap lately (think it may be the beginning of a sinus infection and just fatigue from carrying two babies). We had our 18 week appointments this week. The regular OB just did the really quick they have a heartbeat scan. The MFM did their first 20 week anatomy scan (had one at 14 weeks also) and got most of the measurements. Surprisingly Baby A was being very quiet and in a good position for most of what they needed. They're both growing and everything they were able to check looked good (still have a few things they didn't want to cooperate for to get in 2 weeks). Baby A is now the bigger baby by an ounce. Last time Baby B was an ounce bigger, so I'm a bit worried about him as they are now 8% different (they worry at 10) and last time he was 3% bigger. They are both bigger than average though at 8 and 9 ounces. DH will be home next weekend, so I am looking forward to that.
 



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## sweetbuthyper

amjon they haven't put me on bed rest i've put myself on modified bed rest tho. I only do stairs once a day, we have a toilet down stairs not on my feet longer than 10 mins at a time at the min and either sat or laid the rest of the time, i can't sit to long or i get pain anyways so that reminds me to change position. 

they told me i could do everything and normal but i'd rather be safe, no baths, no sex, limiting showers (and getting a shower seat so i'm sat) and resting loads.


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## dextersmum

Amjon your scans are really thorough. I don't think I was ever told Dexters weight even though I got to 28 weeks and they haven't mentioned anything about this pregnancy just measurements I will try to remember next time I go to ask if they can tell a weight

Sweet it sounds like you are being very sensible. Are you off work at the moment and able to rest during the week?

I am having a really anxious weekend I mentioned yesterday that baby was having a quiet day well it seems she is having one today as well and I am a little bit freaked out. All week I have felt stronger movements and quite a few times a day where as this weekend they have not been as strong or as often. I know she is still only small and it depends on the way she is lay and where she is in my stomach but this pregnancy after a loss is such a rollercoaster and I don't always like the ride. If things are the same tomorrow morning I am going to phone my midwife and get a heartbeat test on her doppler and see if she thinks I should go to EPU for a reassurance scan. It was reduced movements with Dexter that lead to me finding out the placenta wasn't working and the emergency c-section. I really wish I didn't have this comparrison as a reminder :cry:


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> Amjon your scans are really thorough. I don't think I was ever told Dexters weight even though I got to 28 weeks and they haven't mentioned anything about this pregnancy just measurements I will try to remember next time I go to ask if they can tell a weight
> 
> Sweet it sounds like you are being very sensible. Are you off work at the moment and able to rest during the week?
> 
> I am having a really anxious weekend I mentioned yesterday that baby was having a quiet day well it seems she is having one today as well and I am a little bit freaked out. All week I have felt stronger movements and quite a few times a day where as this weekend they have not been as strong or as often. I know she is still only small and it depends on the way she is lay and where she is in my stomach but this pregnancy after a loss is such a rollercoaster and I don't always like the ride. If things are the same tomorrow morning I am going to phone my midwife and get a heartbeat test on her doppler and see if she thinks I should go to EPU for a reassurance scan. It was reduced movements with Dexter that lead to me finding out the placenta wasn't working and the emergency c-section. I really wish I didn't have this comparrison as a reminder :cry:

It was reduced movement with Taylor that told me there was an issue too. I started Christmas Eve though, so I was focused on other things and didn't really think about it until the day after Christmas and she wasn't moving at all. This time I'll just go straight in if I don't feel them as much once they really get into a pattern (though with twins if they are kicking each other I don't feel it as much, so it's hard to know :( ). I do get the U/S every 2 weeks and they check bloodflow among other things, so that does make me feel better.


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## dextersmum

had a bit of a meltdown yesterday afternoon and was in tears for about half an hour in a right panick about baby not moving as much but also missing Dexter and thinking this time last year I thought everything was going well with him think the pregnancy hormones kicked in big time and I was sobbing. I did feel the baby move a little bit more in the evening and also when I woke up at 3.45am this morning for the toilet but I still phoned my midwife this morning and went to see her to talk to her and she did the doppler test and after a minute or so was able to find the baby's heart beat she was partly hiding behind the placenta. She said that the hospital probably wouldn't scan me at this stage they would just use a doppler as baby is small and it isn't always possible to feel her depending on where she is lay and she will also have quieter days. She told me I can go anytime to see her and to phone triage at the weekends if I am worried. I have booked in to see her next monday just as a reassurance. She understands all my nerves and anxiety which is really helpful for me and baby kicked me just as I was leaving the appointment lol


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## sweetbuthyper

Argghhhh the hospital fustrate me, 2 weeks to recieve a letter about a test that must have been done at least 3 weeks ago telling me to get antibioutics for a urine infection, but i have been to the hospital god knows how many times and had at least 4 or more urine tests since then all clear and no mention of infection, doctors haven't recieved there letter about it yet so all they can offer is another test good job i'm in clinic tomorrow anyways to find out what the hells going on..... rant over

dextersmum i am off work i only worked voluntarily and left before christmas when signs were indicating that things might lead this way. got to go to drop in soon with the midwife i never wanted and still don't want to see again after she told me everything was fine with nathaniel 2 days before losing him when i went to drop in with contraction like pain ( actually was contractions), so that should be fun, just keep telling my self all she has to do is find the heartbeat and do my blood pressure and even she can't mess that up surely.


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## dextersmum

sweet I hope your drop in apt went ok with the midwife :hugs:

Its good that you can get as much rest as you need without having to worry about being of work so just take things easy for a while


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## sweetbuthyper

Nicole can you put me down for a boy :) 

he was a wiggly monster for the scan but heres the pic, don't see consultants now til 28 weeks not sure if thats normal with a stitch or not but will go in if theres any sign of trouble.
 



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## dextersmum

great scan photo sweet I think you can tell from it that it is a baby boy. Have you got any other apts before your 28 week one or is that the next one??

How is every body else doing?

Baby was really active yesterday and felt her loads throughout the day but not as active today have felt her at odd times so feeling ok about it. She was kicking really hard last night when I went to bed but hubby still couldn't feel her lol


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## sweetbuthyper

i have midwife at 24 weeks and hoping to get an appointment with her at 22 weeks as well just try try and put my mind at rest around the time i lost nathaniel don't think it will work but its worth a try. :) bean has been a little quiet today but not overly and i have had a few kick he tend to be more active late at night and when i wake up to pee. Also i found out my placenta is anterior so that will be cusioning some of the kicks.


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## dextersmum

baby was quiet again for me yesterday to Sweet but like you I felt some kicks so feel ok about it. I think after all the movement I felt on monday she must have tired herself out. I have felt her a few times already this morning so thats good.


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## Springflower

Indya and Marnie's birthday tomorrow. Really struggling with this.:cry:

Sweet - Congrats on being team blue!:happydance:


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## dextersmum

sending you big hugs Alex :hugs: another milestone to get through which will be bitter sweet for you I am sure as you will want to be happy for Indya but will be upset for Marnie. They say the first of every milestone is hard to get through and I hope you find some way to get through tomorrow. It is 11 months anniversary tomorrow for me since we lost Dexter so a milestone for me to. Please give Indy a big hug from me xx


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## nicola ttc

Congrats on team blue Sweet. Added to first page. :thumbup: We needed some boys to even things out on this thread!
Spring i'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I felt the build up to and anxiety about the 1 year mark was much harder than the actual day so hoping the day isn't too hard on you. :hugs: Do you have anything planned?
Tracy i'm glad baby is giving you more kicks now. I find mine has a few kicky days then one or two with just little movements so they must just get tired out!
I had my 24 week scan yesterday. All looked fine, cord flow and placenta working fine. Baby measuring about a week smaller with all measurements but consultant wasn't concerned so just booked in for 28 week scan.
Have normal consultant appt tomorrow too.
24 weeks today. I feel like it ought to be a happy milestone but can't help remembering with Emily how we had so much more hope once we got to 24 weeks......:cry:
Hope everyone is doing ok. We have come to a bit of a standstill on names. Nick likes Elizabeth and Katie now but i'm not sold on either especially. I've gone off of Darcie though.:haha:


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## dextersmum

congratulations on reaching 24 weeks Nicola on other threads people celebrate this and call it V day but I suppose we know first hand it doesn't guarantee anything but the good thing is that everything is going well so far I think you were in hospital on bed rest at this point with Emily's pregnancy so as my mantra says "this is a different pregnancy" I am guessing you will be anxious until you pass 25+ weeks then you have gone passed another milestone. have you been told when you will have your c-section? I was reading my notes and consultant has wrote 38/40 for my section so I am guessing early June for me.

just watching the man utd match with hubby and debating whether to sneak upstairs to watch one born every minute instead lol


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## dextersmum

Thinking of you today spring :flower: :hugs:

Happy valentines day mummies and angels :kiss:


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## dextersmum

hello ladies this has become a quiet thread over the last couple of days so I hope I am not writing to myself lol.

My baby girl has been a little imp again this weekend and has been playing very quietly each morning up until about 1pm when she will have a little wriggle and I will feel her and then early evening she seems to wake up and it feels like she is dancing lol. I am not sure if I was dreaming or if I felt her a few times during the night last night??

How are you all doing?

I am going to see my midwife again tomorrow to listen to baby's heart beat for reassurance


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## sweetbuthyper

I'm still here...

I'm doing ok went away to see my grandma for the weekend was good to see her but the journey nearly killed me so much pain from sitting up right in the car for 2 hours, i had realised how hard travelling now i have the stitch would be. glad i went because now i don't feel bad about not going down again till baby is born but i feel sooo ill today just run down and hormonal.

other than that i'm just stressed out money worrys suck and its not getting any easier, my husband is leaving work soon to be come my carer and so he can retrain which i think is great and i support him every step of the way but at the min money sucks, mainly as the teenager decided to do a runner at christmas and so we are down money that we had budgeted to get us through til baby was born by nearly £200 a month, i know it will get easier but at the min i feel like we are sinking and struggling to keepour heads above the water. but hey ho all the bills willbe paid somehow they always are. 

I guess i feel guilty as well as i can't work so i can't help out.

hope you are all good!

bean has been bouncy all weekend usually quiet in the morning and they gets active at lunch, then moves loads in the evening around 10pm


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## dextersmum

Hi Sweet sorry you are sore today after your journey to see your grandma. Hopefully you can just rest up now for a few days and get yourself back on track.

Will your OH get a carers allowance for looking after you? what is he going to retrain in?

I am trying to work out when I can afford to stop working and how long for as me and hubby are both self employed so if we don't work we don't get paid and I bring home more money than hubby so am thinking I will stop mid may but my notes say I am having an elective section at 38 weeks which is beginning of June so not sure if I will be up for working 2 weeks beforehand but I will just have to wait and see. I want to have more time off after the birth and will just have to live of my savings and maternity allowance then.

Lexi has been moving loads today since before 8am so I think she just likes to have a lie in during the weekend and not move until after lunch lol :dohh:

Went to midwife and she had to chase the baby around trying to find her heart beat but we got there in the end :happydance:


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## sweetbuthyper

:) yeah the husband will be able to claim carers his sister currently claims for me but she barly does anything as there mum needs her help more than I do it will mean we also qualify for income support and housing benefit meaning will be on around the same money as him working. Hour currently does retail type role in a prison canteen but he really wants to do councelling it makes sense for him to go to college now while I need the help and we can get financial support really the course he needs to do is only 3 hours a week so hopefully if we can get my fits undercontrol early next year we can look at us both working part time thus meaning less childcare costs and me being able hopefully to at least partly use my degree


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## nicola ttc

Hi everyone :wave:
I've been mia a bit lately from here - 25 weeks tomorrow and feeling a bit strange about it. Sad about Emily, feels like i (hopefully) have so long left of this pregnancy and yet Emily was here at 25+1 and was so perfect. Tiny but perfect. I feel sad for her and slightly panicky and guilty about this baby being ok. :shrug:
I had a panic last night as i had backache, tightenings and (tmi sorry) when i wiped had some bloody mucus. Think it was maybe because we had sex in the morning and i did lots of hoovering/mopping/walking yesterday. I would have gone to hospital today if it carried on but seems fine since i got up. 
Tracy i'm glad you got to hear hb and Lexi is bouncing around more. :thumbup:
Have you decided that is definitely her name now? How exciting.
Sweet sorry you had an uncomfortable journey but at least it's done now like you said. I didn't realise you had fits - is it epilepsy?That sounds like a good plan for hubby to retrain now. Also, who is the teenager? :haha: don't know if you haven't said or if i've missed a lot on here so sorry if you've said all this already!
How is everyone else? 
Does anyone else have a definate name/names for their lo?


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## sweetbuthyper

Nicola its not epilepsy its non epileptic attack disorder its made worse by stress but is apparently triggered by trauma and we all know losing a child is pretty traumatic its getting better but the only way I can really describe it is to the outside it looks like epilepsy but it feels like my brain reboots bit like when a computer crashes and restarts im under neuro psychology for treatment but there are no drugs for it its all re promramming the brain to cope under stress 

The teenager was simons brother we took him in last April time as he kept running from home but Christmas time we found out he was on drugs which he still denies and decided he was leaving as we had proof he was and so didn't believe him to be honest I'm glad he's not here at the Min as he's currently on bail for assult and in not sure I could have dealt with the stress of it all and its not good for me or the baby


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## dextersmum

Hi Nicola glad you are at the 25 week point I know what you mean about feeling sad about Emily but it is a good thing that everything is going well in this pregnancy and I am sure baby will stay put for at least the next 10 weeks :thumbup::hugs: sounds like you need to put your feet up for a bit. I am not meant to hoover or mop due to pgp but the house was doing my head in on sunday so I started it and then told hubby I needed him to take over as my back was sore. Why don't men see what women see when the house needs cleaning :dohh:

our baby will be called Lexi as it is the name that me and hubby agreed on and it was a name I thought of if Dexter was a girl. We have got a stensil with Lexi on for her room. I had to laugh as when we ordered the stensil hubby asked if we should get Lexi Beth but I said just to get her first name and only last week he said that we had only agreed on the first name?? :wacko: We have been telling people what we are calling the baby if they ask only I have one friend who visited yesterday that has told me she does not want to know the name until baby is born and it was really hard yesterday because everytime she asked a question about the pregnancy or baby Iwanted to say baby's name as I call my bump Lexi now :winkwink:I am sure I will slip up and say it in front of her lol

Have you not decided on a name yet then??

Sweet I didn't realise you had fits either how long have you had them? are you still getting them during the pregnancy? Do you get any warning of them coming? I hope you get them sorted soon but in the meantime it will be nice for you to have hubby at home with you and still have some money coming in.


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## sweetbuthyper

They started the October after losing Nathaniel so have had then a year and 4 months now but it took a year to get to the treatment stage hospitals are slow, I sometimes Get warning but not often altho I have started to feel them coming on and can somtimes stop them I'm quiet lucky in that I don't tend to get them when in stood and if I do rarely fall or I fall in the least damaging way my brain still has some control so I will go to my knees then flat and haven't hurt myself with them very often,

I am still getting them with the pregnancy although they have calmed slot in the last 2 weeks since having the stitch think its because we now have a reason for loosing Nathaniel and its no longer unexplained I am down to 1 or 2 a day in the evenings only compaired to the 10 plus I had daily when I first started with them they are alsso shorter. 

The main worry with them is I occosionally go into an altter persona with them mine being a 4 year old which worrys me for when the baby is here, however thru are also decreasing and the psych is concentrating on bring us as one so I have todo more fun things which in turn lowers stress levels eg painting and crafts hoping that they continue to decrease as treatment ect goes on.


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## nicola ttc

Ah Sweet thats a lot to deal with! I hope they continue to decrease for you. 
Tracy i think Lexi Beth is such a sweet name. Elizabeth is one of our shortlist
We like Elizabeth, Heidi, Rose and Violet. 
I had a dream that we had a chubby dark haired girl we wrapped in a blanket with pink rosebuds all over it so kinda like rose- roses seem like a good omen for us with this baby if you believe in that kind of thing, violet i think i said before is the 7th colour of the rainbow and will be my 7th child. Heidi i love and Nick likes Elizabeth- so one of those or those names in a combination. I like Heidi Rose. 
Any thoughts ladies?!


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## sweetbuthyper

nicola - heidi roseis nice i like it :) 
dextermum i like lexi and it works well with beth :) 

we are debating on using alexander on the birth cert or not we will be calling bean xander but i feel like alexander give him more option as he grows up

full name ( unless oh changes his mind again ) is Alexander Anthony Keith - to be known as xander ( i may kill family if they try to call him alex) 

oh is still not sure he likes xander but has agree to it


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## nicola ttc

I like the sound of Alexander Anthony Keith as a full name alltogether and i think you're right, it gives more options as an adult. Xander is lovely though. :thumbup:
I always said my Alexander would not be Alex but now i call him Alex more than anyone else!!:dohh::rofl:


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## dextersmum

sweet that sounds like a lot you are going through with the fits and I really hope they can sort you out soon.

Nicola I like Heidi Rose it sounds nice together. Have you thought of Rosie that is a sweet name? is there a reason you have chosen Heidi does it have a meaning?

I think I have said before that Elizabeth is my middle name but I have always like Beth so am really hoping that we keep this as Lexi's middle name. We just had 

Anthony felt Lexi kick for the first time last night so that is a lovely thing and must mean she is growing and getting stronger :happydance:


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## nicola ttc

Ahh it's lovely when they can feel from the outside - was Anthony excited? You have been able to see my belly actually jumping for the last week or so!
No reason for Heidi, i just like it. Nick likes Rosie but theres a gypsy girl at tiegans school called rosemarie and her mum is always screaming rowwwwseeeeeeee across the playground and puts me off!:rofl:
I like Casey, Elizabeth, Amelia and Darcie too but Nick dislikes all of the names at the moment. Seriously, he doesn't like any!! There's a few he thinks are 'ok' - mainly ones i don't like- it's driving me mad. :brat:
I went shopping today and got a few bits for baby. Finally made a start! Only bibs, muslins, vests and bits like that but it's something.


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## sweetbuthyper

thought i would post a new bump pics have made a progression one not sure i see a huge difference but there is some difference :)
 



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## nicola ttc

Definite difference Sweet! Lovely bump. It's a lot more rounded and bigger than the first pic now. :thumbup:
This is my 25 week bump pic from yesterday
https://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u620/nicolabird/20130219_103911_zpsc8b08928.jpg

So todays names suggested by Nick are 
Rosie Rainbow (which he loves)
Cadence
Eden

:dohh: he dislikes Heidi now. 
I think we might just see when baby arrives as its stressing me out when Nick changes his mind every day. He also likes Amelie (pronounced Am -a -lee) but i think it sounds too much like Emily. He doesn't like Amelia which i thought might be a compromise. 
Arrrrgh you must all be sick of me telling you new names every day! :haha:
How is everyone? Who has the next scan/appt coming up? 
I'm 25+1 today, the gestation Emily was born at. Hard to believe that little person inside me now is as developed as Emily was. :cry:
Tomorrow is my birthday. 35 :shock: i don't feel that old, except when i've been out all day and really look forward to sitting down and having a cup of tea :rofl:


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## nicola ttc

Spring how are you doing? You haven't been on for a while i hope all's ok. :hugs:
I just noticed our genders go in a pattern on due date list. All boys so far, spring you are the first of the girls -then me!! Eeeek!!


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## sweetbuthyper

i'm all excited today coz i realised it is 2 weeks since my op and all is well and also because i have been able to drink my first cup of tea since i got pregnant and not throw it up... ah the simple things in life lol. 

nicola your bump is cute :) hope you are coping ok today i'm dreading next week as i hit 22 weeks and when things started to go sour last time.


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## nicola ttc

Thats great that it's been 2 weeks and no problems :thumbup: . I'm sure it will carry on like that for many more weeks sweet.
I'm ok actually thanks. For me things started to happen from 20 weeksish with Emily and i had been in hospital nearly 5 weeks already at this point so feel positive that things are still going smoothly this time but still feel guilty that i couldn't carry Emily longer. :cry: and sad that she couldn't stay but then i think we all have those feelings from time to time in a rainbow pregnancy. :shrug:


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## Springflower

Hey ladies - I'm still here just been busy. 

Sweet - Oh my goodness those fits sound horrific! Must be very scary for you and your family.

Nicola - Congratulations on reaching 25+1. Its scary and strange going past the date isn't it? I feel the same. I love the name Eden, although of course OH doesnt.:growlmad:

Tracy - How are you? Lexi Beth is adorable I really like it! Lovely that your hubby felt her. Mine has only felt her once. He's always too slow getting to me and then is too quick to move his hand away!

AFM - The girls birthday was actually quite nice. There was tears but on the whole it was a good day. I'm relieved its over though. We had Indy's party on Sunday again it was mixed. I found myself welling up a few times. Couldn't help but think there should be two little girls opening their pressies.:cry:

I don't know it anyone else is feeling like this, but I'm finding it really hard to accept there is a baby in my tummy. I keep thinking, if something happens it wont be as bad this time because I don't "know" her. I'm sure I'm just trying to protect myself but it know its a bit wierd. I'm also avoiding going ou and seeing ppl. I just dont want to talk about this pregnancy. Please dont get me wrong, I'm so happy to be pregnant, I guess I'm just scared.

So today Im 30ws and offically a week further than I have ever got!:happydance: Gaz was saying last night he cant believe we've got this far. So Nicola going by the front list, the next baby will be a boy, if the pattern continues! Cant believe I'm next. Thats truely terrifying!! Bump is giving me some lovely kicks as I write this!:cloud9:

What do people think of Lara or Cassie? I'm not sure. Cassie is lovely but it reminds me of something I might call my dog:dohh: and Lara I really like but cant imagine using it.

I'm now focussing on the next date I have to get through, the date Marnie passed away. God I'm dreading it. Last year it was on comic relief I think then Mothers day was two days later. So utterly sh!T. I really want to keep that date safe just for Marnie so we can have a day thats just for her. 

Right gotta go, am supposed to be working.

Lots of love to us baby growing mammas!:hugs:

Right better get on with work.


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## Springflower

Nicola we have very similar bumps! Mine is just a bigger more outty now. 

xxx


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## nicola ttc

:wave: hi spring.
I really like Lara but my niece is called Laura - which i also love - and i thought it was a bit too similar. 
Out of those names i like Eden best too. :thumbup:
Can you post a bump pic?
Congratulations on reaching 30 weeks. :hugs:


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## dextersmum

I wouldn't say Anthony was too excited Nicola as it was bed time lol he doesn't actually show much emotion so I could be wrong he might have been jumping up and down inside :wacko:

I love feeling Lexi move and I think it would be really good for men to feel a baby move inside them don't you think.

Hi Alex it is good to read your update. How is baby's growth now? I prefer Lara over Cassie and I think you mentioned Lara Bay before which is lovely.
Its hard isn't it when you love a name and OH doesn't like it or you can't agree :growlmad:

nice bump pictures ladies I will have to try again to take one and post it on here as it hasn't worked so far.

Lexi has been moving nicely all week and it felt like she did a body roll last night :thumbup: just hope she behaves this weekend


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## _Lexi_

Hey. Sorry haven't been around. Been a tough couple of weeks with Joshua's birthday etc. hope everyone is doing ok? Lovely bump pics!! And happy birthday Nicola!! 

Spring, I like the name Lara too. I'm glad the girls birthday passed gently for you. Well done on getting to 30w!!

Tracy, Lexi Beth is a lovely name, it flows really nicely. 

Sweet, I managed my first cup of tea a couple of days ago as well!! I went off it before I even got my bfp, But just really fancied one!!

I've had a tough few weeks. Joshua's birthday was very simple. We took him some balloons and a little wooden train set:
https://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/ducksdontquack/12F0BA3C-F08D-4284-9CED-2573A9B35E0C-1049-00000171A56DA23A.jpg
https://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/ducksdontquack/4AC77AC3-027B-4019-85B7-F2633F906746-1049-000001719B59D65E.jpg

A few people remembered and sent messages. It was too windy to release a lantern for him though :(

Not this Saturday just gone, but the one before, I started struggling with my breathing. By Sunday afternoon it was really bad, so I went into my walk in drs, which is also my proper surgery. They told me it was over an hours wait, but rushed me in within 5 minutes. After a consult with my nurse, who called my dr through, I was sent straight to hospital. They can hear a noise on my lungs and are concerned about blood clots. Whilst at the hospital I had an X-ray, ECG, ultrasound of my heart etc. they've diagnosed a heart murmur and a leaky valve, and are still concerned about a clot on my lung. I was told to wait for a senior cardiologist. We got there at 4pm, and by midnight I'd had enough. Me and Jon (oh) were both starving, all the restaurants were closed, we weren't even given a glass of water! The room was freezing as the heating didn't work properly, and it was snowing outside, and there was dried blood all over the floor and walls! At coming up to 1am, when they admitted they had no idea if the cardiologist was even still on shift, I discharged myself and we went home. My breathing still isn't right, but better than it was. 

I have a very wriggly, active baby, and a growing bump. I'm bigger than I ever got with Joshua. He was also never this active due to the low fluid. At 23 weeks I feel pregnant. If that makes sense? It's reassuring, but we still don't know if Joshua's iugr was even linked to his problems, or just an unlucky coincidence. I have my next appointment next Tuesday though so should get an idea of how this ones growing. 

I'm starting to get a bit nervous. My sil is due a boy in 2 weeks. I haven't held a baby, or even seen a baby boy, since Joshua. Its starting to sink in that they're going to expect me to go see him, hold him, and I don't know if I can. It's not something I'd even thought about, but it's beginning to terrify me. 

To top everything off, my birthday this year falls on mothers day :( not looking forward to that one bit. 

Sorry for rambling, again. Hope everyone is doing ok xxx


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## LoraLoo

Hi ladies, is it ok to join?

I just got my bfp today, Im still really early AF isnt due til Sunday.

So scared and nervous, we lost Eve at 5 days old and Alfie 18 weeks into the pregnancy, so the whole pregnancy (God willing) I can see being a nightmare stress-wise! How do you overcome that? xx


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## dextersmum

Hi Lexi

glad you have left a message I saw your thread on the 2nd tri forum about going to hospital with shortnes of breath and have been a little worried about you. Do you have any other apts to go and see anybody about your heart murmur??

We have the same problem with lanterns everytime we try to send one off to Dexter the weather is awful or it takes ages to do it. We had one of the balloons you have and sent that up to Dexter for his birthday.

Just do what ever you need to do when your SIL baby is born and don't put too much pressure on yourself. I have a step grandson who was born in November and I thought it would be hard to hold him but once I did it I was fine and now when I hold him or he cries Lexi kicks so it is a good thing at the moment.

Loraloo welcome to this thread and congratulations on your BFP. I am not sure how you overcome pregnancy stress to be honest other than coming on here and writing an email to share with us other ladies that understand what is going on for you as that helps me just knowing I am not alone if my thoughts and feelings so email as much as you need us please :hugs:

I took my nieces to Mothercare with me and they made me spend over £50 on baby clothes as they kept saying look at this auntie Tracy or I like this auntie Tracy. So after treating them to lunch too I am skint now lol

Lexi is kicking away today can't wait until other people can feel her too


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## amjon

Lexi- I hope they find out what the problem is. Clots are scary. You may need the injections that some of us are already on. 

We had our 20 week anatomy scan at the MFM this morning. They were running quite a bit behind and DH got a ticket on the way there, so he was in kind of a bad mood already. The boys are 12 and 13 ounces now. They checked my uterine arteries and said they looked great, so no sign of pre-e now (I'm sure they'll recheck it later). The boys were extra active and were in just about every position they could be. Baby A started breech and ended that way, but was transverse and vertex at different points as well. She said after our next appointment we'll be going to weekly (as long as I was comfortable with that), so that means from here on out I'll be to the doctor at least once a week (I have regular OB appointment next week). DH wasn't too happy about that, but I told him he can go to every other appointment if he wants. She said they'll do growth bi-weekly and BPP in between.
 



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## dextersmum

great scan photos amjon and glad things are back on track for you. Will you have weekly appointments until the birth now?

I have a few ailments that I was wondering if anybody else is suffering from? I have restless legs which seem to get jumpy and I need to lie down and go to bed to get them to rest anybody else have this?

I am now on my 5th perscription since december for thrush it seems not to be clearing up or going for a few days and coming back. My doctor said it might be linked to gestational diabetes and I am to talk to my consultant next week to see if I should move the glucose test forward

I am also suffering with cramp in my legs in the middle of the night??

anybody else getting any of these and got any advice


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> great scan photos amjon and glad things are back on track for you. Will you have weekly appointments until the birth now?
> 
> I have a few ailments that I was wondering if anybody else is suffering from? I have restless legs which seem to get jumpy and I need to lie down and go to bed to get them to rest anybody else have this?
> 
> I am now on my 5th perscription since december for thrush it seems not to be clearing up or going for a few days and coming back. My doctor said it might be linked to gestational diabetes and I am to talk to my consultant next week to see if I should move the glucose test forward
> 
> I am also suffering with cramp in my legs in the middle of the night??
> 
> anybody else getting any of these and got any advice

We'll be weekly with the MFM (until she changes us to twice weekly, 28 weeks maybe?) and the normal schedule with the regular OB (I think every 3 weeks until 28 and then every 2, but not 100% sure). 

My legs have been a bit restless, but more when I'm lying down. I haven't had an issue with yeast this pregnancy (thrush), but I was diagnosed with GD at 8 weeks and have been on insulin to control it since then (just had to get my insulin changed today). I would definitely have them look at it. Here is it standard for everyone to have the test around the beginning of the 3rd tri. The endo and the MFM both stressed that blood sugar issues are the biggest cause of stillbirth and highly suspect it had something to do with our losses (both stillbirth and MC). I've also been getting a few minor leg cramps, so I tried to up my banana/ potato skins a bit to help and it's a bit better.


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## dextersmum

Hello ladies just sending a quick update from hubby's phone I was rushed into hospital yesterday with bleeding and I am being kept in for monitoring as they don't know why I am bleeding baby is kicking away and good heartbeat they check every 4-6 hours and on scan she has grown and everything else looking good placenta etc and all my obs are good. And I have no pain so not in early labour but will have to stay in hospital until bleeding stops or to be monitored for signs of labour or baby in trouble. So as you can imagine I am a nervous wreck and hope things calm down and baby does not need to come out until at least 10 weeks time


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## LoraLoo

dextersmum said:


> Hello ladies just sending a quick update from hubby's phone I was rushed into hospital yesterday with bleeding and I am being kept in for monitoring as they don't know why I am bleeding baby is kicking away and good heartbeat they check every 4-6 hours and on scan she has grown and everything else looking good placenta etc and all my obs are good. And I have no pain so not in early labour but will have to stay in hospital until bleeding stops or to be monitored for signs of labour or baby in trouble. So as you can imagine I am a nervous wreck and hope things calm down and baby does not need to come out until at least 10 weeks time

I'm sorry to hear this hun, but glad all seems well with baby and that shes giving you soon good kicks. Hopefully the bleeding will stop and you can get back home soon :hugs: xx


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## nicola ttc

Oh no Tracy. I hope all's ok.
I'm glad all looks fine with Lexi, hopefully it will just stop and she will stay put for at least another 10weeks. Thinking of you lovely. Xx


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## sweetbuthyper

dextersmum sorry to hear about the bleed hopefully its nothing, try to stay positive your nearly at v day and the haven't found anything wrong which a good sign :hugs:


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> Hello ladies just sending a quick update from hubby's phone I was rushed into hospital yesterday with bleeding and I am being kept in for monitoring as they don't know why I am bleeding baby is kicking away and good heartbeat they check every 4-6 hours and on scan she has grown and everything else looking good placenta etc and all my obs are good. And I have no pain so not in early labour but will have to stay in hospital until bleeding stops or to be monitored for signs of labour or baby in trouble. So as you can imagine I am a nervous wreck and hope things calm down and baby does not need to come out until at least 10 weeks time

That's scary, but one of my co-workers had a major bleed at 25 weeks with her son. She went to the hospital and all was fine. He was born at term and fine, so it's likely you'll be the same.


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## Krippy

Thinking of you and your rainbow Tracy! Keep us updated!


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## dextersmum

Still in hospital bleeding has now turned to brown spotting which is very slight so staying in again tonight to talk to consultant tomorrow and hopefully everything will clear up as have no pain or early labour signs and lexi is moving and kicking


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## nicola ttc

So glad things seem to be settling Tracy. Have been thinking of you all day hoping all was well. :hugs:


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## Krippy

Great news Tracy! So happy you and Lexi are doing well!


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## dextersmum

hello ladies I am home from hospital and am rather nervous. The bleeding and spotting has completely stopped so consultant was happy for me to come home. I had the have the steroid injections to help baby's lungs develop incase she is born prematurely. I was regularly observed in the hospital and they listened to baby's heartbeat at least 4 times a day so as you can imagine being at home and not in the safety of the hospital is a little scary and I am sure it will take me a few days to get rid of my nervous and I am just praying that it was a one off and everything else goes well in the pregnancy. I had to talk to the neonatal doctors to be told all the stats about survival rates of premature babies and all they kept saying was baby stands the best chance after 28 weeks. Well Dexter was 28 weeks old when he was born and he didn't survive was all I kept thinking.

I know it is a good sign that the bleeding has stopped and there were no signs of early labour or baby being in distress and she has grown correctly so far but it is hard not to feel anxious. I have another scan in 2 weeks and then will continue with my planned scans and consultants apts I am just hoping with all that I have that Lexi continues to grow and develop as she should with no further issues in the pregnancy and that I am not a nervous wreck for the next 14 weeks.

Hope everybody else is well and worry free


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## sweetbuthyper

Having had complications I can relate dexters mum it us so worrying I want this week to pass quickly, I'm being tested for obstetic cholestasis tomorrow coz my itching is driving me insane, I worry daily at the min that the stitch will fail but know I've done all I can to keep Bean safe at the min.

Its good lexi is doing well so far fx it stays that way


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## Springflower

God Tracy what a nightmare. I know Dexter was 28 weeks, Marnie was 29 weeks and our lovely babies didnt survive. You know what that has talk me? That stats really dont matter. Honestly during our time I saw so many 23 weekers survive. Ignore the stats. Lexi is wriggling around in there, hang on to that. Keep hanging in there:hugs:

Loraloo - Welcome to our group and congratulations on your bfp!

Will write more later, as usual I'm sneaking on when I'm supposed to be working.:haha:


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## dextersmum

thanks Sweet and Spring.

Being in hospital with other mums who are either bleeding or in early labour etc has also been an eye open to find out it is quite common and I wasn't alone.

Feeling quilty at moment as husband has cooked tea, done the dishes and now took dog out for a walk. But I have to let go of that guilt and look after myself and Baby for a while


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## Springflower

Tracy don't feel guilty, make the most of it!!!


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## Krippy

Tracy...Don't feel guilty! You let your hubby take care of you and that sweet little babe! I am hoping that this pregnancy goes by stress free and problem free! I know that you can't help but worry just know that we are all here and are thinking of you!

LoraLoo! Welcome and congrats on your BFP! I love that this group is just growing and growing! :)

I can't believe how far along you all are! I am so happy and excited for all of you! Can`t wait to meet all of your precious rainbows!

Here are some pics of my little boy! He is 12 weeks old and growing way too fast! He is already 13 or so pounds and smiling up a storm!
 



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## dextersmum

loving the photos krippy can't believe baby is 12 weeks old already. Give him a cuddle from me.

Sweet hope your apt goes well today and you get something for your itchy skin


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## Springflower

Oh Krippy, Raif is gorgeous! Thank you for posting the pics. It always gives me hope to see those sorts of pictures. He looks lovely, a very contented little chap. I hope everything is going well. 

Tracy - Any update? Hope all is good.:hugs:

Sweet - Good luck for your appointment.

Nothing much to report my end. Will be 31 weeks tomorrow. I have a gorwth scan on Friday to see what the little lady is up to. I really dont feel like she is growing. My tummy feels squashy. I keep saying this to my cons but he keeps telling me its because I'm used to twins. Maybe:shrug: 

Anyway scared the crap out of my oh at 4am. I was fast asleep and got woken up but such a horrid pain in my leg. I was properly screaming. Oh came dashing in, he thought I was giving birth! Was very relieved to hear it was just bad cramp - haha. We arent in the same room at the moment as I feel I need a whole King size bed all to myself! haha. Can't believe Indy didnt wake up at all. 

For those of you working when are you thinking of stoping? I' planning on working until 1 MAy (all being well) as I doubt I'll got back so want to get the dosh in while I can. But I'm not sure I'm thinking maybe I should stop earlier, but having said that. all I do is sit on a chair for 3 days a week. If I'm not working I'll look after Indy, but it's getting very hard as she's a big girl and not crawling/walking yet. Hmmm.

:kiss:


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## dextersmum

Hi Spring I have had a quiet day just resting, watching tv and trying not to get annoyed with my puppy who keeps digging up the garden and bringing mud back into the house. I have had to leave the mess for my husband to clean up when he gets in from work as I am not getting the hoover out. Even had my food shopping delivered and have been carrying the bags into the kitchen one at a time so that I am not lifting anything too heavy. As my consultant told me no heavy lifting or sex to ensure no bleeding so I am following his instructions. I am finding it hard not doing much as I am not that type of person and the mess in the house is already annoying me but as hubby works all day I can't expect him to do everything every day so I will just have to shut my eyes to the mess.

I have had one episode of light brown spotting today but the consultant said that would be normal so not to worry.

I have a piece of work in Dunstable on the 21-23 march which will mean 2 nights away from home and I really don't think I want to go especially to be away from home but it would mean a loss of £900 due to not delivering the training and I have already done all of the design work which I won't get paid for. Am I being over cautious? I am trying to get on with my life and not think that I am going to bleed again but as the bleed on friday came out of no where I am a bit freaked about going away??

I was planning on working until about 14th May which is the last meeting in my diary as my section should be around 3rd June but I will take things easy for now and see how things go.

Lexi has been wriggling around today and I can feel her really strongly right now and feels like she is doing aerobics which is a great feeling and very reassuring right now


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## _Lexi_

Hey everyone. Tracy, sounds like a scary few days, rest up and I hope everything carries on ok. 

I had my 24 week appointment with my specialist today. He was great. Really thorough and checked everything. Baby is pretty much average on all growth measurements. Which is fantastic. We were hoping for very boring, average results :) all my fluid is looking fine, and blood flow is pretty good. He has no concerns whatsoever :) I'll be back to see him at 28 weeks for another growth scan, make sure everything is still ok. At the moment he's still happy for me to have a vbac, and providing everything goes ok at delivery, he sees no reason why I'd gave to stay in, or why baby would need to go to nicu. He's already requested that cord blood gases be taken at delivery, but Joshua's were fine, it was an hour later they started to drop. I'm not sure if I'd feel more comfortable if she went to nicu for a few hours, just in case. Oh yeah, he also confirmed he's 99% certain we're having a girl :) such a relief, just got the next 4 weeks to get through!! xx


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## Springflower

Lovely news Lexi, boring average is perfect! 

X


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## amjon

Hi everyone! I had a regular OB appointment today and had a very quick U/S to check for heartbeats. The boys are having a lazy few days, but all looked fine. I am now officially the biggest I ever been though. (Not the furthest along, but twins REALLY stretch you out quick.) I was measuring 28 weeks today and Taylor was delivered at the end of week 27 (and stopped growing a bit before that). I've been getting more stretching pains the last few days, so think it's just because it's never been this big and is stretching faster than normal. Before I know it the boys will be in my ribs! Next week we are back to the MFM and will see her every week (or more) until they are here. :)


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## dextersmum

amjon it sounds like you had a good apt did they say if the boys are measuring big or is your bump measuring ahead just because you are carrying twins?
Spring Amjons message should help you because you think your bump isn't big enough but that could be because your last comparison was the twins so this bump shouldn't be as big :hugs:

I am going to see my midwife today just to listen to Lexi's heartbeat for reassurance although I know she is fine as she is currently wriggling about. Anthony got to feel 3-4 kicks last night because she was booting me that hard :thumbup:

sweet how did you get on at your apt?

Nicola glad your little girl is measuring average because that is great news. now it is 99% confirmed she is a girl have to decided on the final name for your sweet baby girl??

Nicola have you finally decided on a name or are you waiting to see your baby girls sweet face to see what name suits her?


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## sweetbuthyper

hi guys

sorry i didn't post yesterday i was in a very bad mood had no sleep/ very broken sleep and had to go to sheffield for my psych appointment, Midwife appointment tuesday when really well i was able to tell her where to find bean with the dopplar coz he had been kicking all morning and fallen asleep, which is ood coz it meant i got to hear his heart beat for longer than usual. she tested my iron and "itchy bloods", should recieve a call today if anything is wrong, sleep was a bit better last night so thats good. Midwife gave me lucozade for the gtt as apparently my docs don't supply it!, midwife is going to see me fortnightly :), and bean has been very boucny altho oh still can't feel him as he tends to kick down and not out.


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## dextersmum

hi sweet glad your apt with the midwife went well and you got to hear xanders heartbeat for longer. What is causing your broken or lack of sleep? I am suffering with PGP again and it is bothering my sciatic nerve so it is making it uncomfortable down my butt cheeks and legs and waking me up and then I need the toilet lol. The joys of pregnancy.

Just went to see my midwife and had a bit of a cry about how I am feeling about the bleeding and talked to her and that helped just having some one who listened. Lexi has been kicking me a lot this morning which is very reassuring and we listened to her heartbeat and she kicked the midwifes hand :haha:

I talked to her about feeling guilty that I am sat at home and meant to be resting and not doing housework etc and then hubby is working full time and then I need him to do stuff when he gets in and she said that she understands but I need to rest and leave things to hubby and look after myself and the baby and even take other peoples offers when they come and not feel guilty so I guess I will be calling on my mum to help me keep the house clean :wacko: and have to learn that is ok and not a failing on my part :dohh:


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## sweetbuthyper

dextersmum the itching means it takes ages to get to sleep then i wake to pee and start itching again its an evil cycle altho was a little better last night. 

i understand the feeling bad about resting, i've been resting for weeks now and feel bad when oh gets in from work tired and still has to cook and sort the dog ( not that i could walk her before as shes too big and pulls :haha:) 

also if i lay and refuse to get up coz i'm comfy it hurts like hell when i do go pee coz my bladder was to full :shrug: sometimes its worth the extra sleep tho :)


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> amjon it sounds like you had a good apt did they say if the boys are measuring big or is your bump measuring ahead just because you are carrying twins?

They don't measure them at all at the regular OB, but at the MFM they were right around 50th percentile, so pretty much right on. With twins you're supposed to measure 6-8 weeks ahead, so 7 weeks ahead is about right. I'm going to be huge by the end. :wacko:


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## nicola ttc

Hi ladies:wave:
Tracy glad things have settled now, your mw is right though you need to just rest and let other prople do things for you. At the most it'll be 15 weeks and in the grand scheme of things, thats not long at all. :thumbup:
I think it was you asking if i had a name yet? We're thinking Eden Violet or Eden Rose. Nick thought of it and i really like it (but oh will probably change his mind by next week!):haha:
Lexi i'm so pleased baby is measuring average!! 
It's very different, the things we celebrate, compared to an average pregnancy isn't it? That's why it's great having a thread like this where we all understand. 
Do you have a name for baby now Lexi?
Sweet, hope all is fine with your bloods and the itching isn't anything serious. 
Spring, hope growth scan goes well tomorrow. I find i have a few days where my belly feels soft and squishy, then baby has a growth spurt and fills it up! I'm sure with you being used to a twin bump it must feel different kinda less 'full' this time? 
Amjon, glad all is going well with the boys. Have you decided on a second boy name yet?
Sorry if i missed anyone! Cant remember more than a page and cant see further back while posting on my phone!!:haha:
So, not really much news from me. Just happily plodding along being uneventful :laugh2: Have lots of bh now and baby wriggles and kicks in more of a pattern which is nice.
I've been looking at pushchairs/prams too and just don't know what to get!
Have you ladies thought about that yet? I've been buying lots of pink frilly stuff and oh said i'm going to make her look like a big fat gypsy baby :rofl:


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## dextersmum

Nicola Eden is a lovely name. The girl who was in the next bed to me in the hospital said one of her little girls was called Eden. It is not a name I have heard a lot but it is very pretty and it sounds nice with your other childrens names. Lets hope Nick sticks with this name if you both like it :winkwink:

I will learn to rest and not get harrassed by the house and things that need doing because this baby is too important to let small things like that bother me. It is just my stupid guilt that I feel like I am not doing anything but actually I am growing our child and the house can get sorted out once she is here. I am managing to cook tea and do small house work such as dusting so that is my part in it all for now :happydance:

Hubby has just come home and pointed out a hole that the dog has dug in the garden today that I didn't even notice. I thought he had been quiet for a while lol


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## sweetbuthyper

nicola itching is still there but now come out little bumps so think its just hormones its getting a little better so hoping i'm past the worst of it :), we have been looking at prams we are currently ( well i am oh said he doesn't care) between the phil and teds navigator with carry cot ( coz i'm crazy and want to do this all again sometime soon after littleone is born and it converts to a double ( after buying a seat) and so will last longer ) or the jane slalom pro reverse or an older model with the matrix car seat which seems like a good idea but its quiet bulky and also wide so have concerns re buses, need to go play with them in the shop at some point. 

have you got your eye on any yet nicola?

edit: forgot to add no phone call from doctors so can only assume bloods are all normal :),


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## amjon

Since we need a double that takes car seats it limits our options quite a bit. None are sold as sets with the car seats (except the Graco on Amazon and that one folds down WAY too big- wouldn't even fit in the trunk with nothing else). I think we're going to have to go with the Countour Tandem as it's the only fairly reasonable one that will fold down enough to get in the trunk. I like the City Jogger, but it was over $700 and don't want to spend that much on just the stroller.


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## dextersmum

hello ladies I am shattered today as had broken sleep last night with needing to get up to pee, cramp in my foot and toes, strange dreams and being too hot and the pain in my hips etc. I am a little anxious today as it was this time last week that I started to bleed so need to get through today and know a week has passed and it has been 5 days since any (red) bleeding. I will try and have a nap with the dog later. I think watching mindless tv makes you more tired but I don't have the energy to read lol

We were looking for the Racaro Akuna travel system which is the pram we had for Dexter (but returned) but I think it is old stock so we can't find one locally. Which is a shame because it was a great price and easy to assembly and folded small for the boot of the car. I am certainly not going to buy the pram until I am passed at least 30 weeks just because I bought it before 28 weeks last time and didn't get to use it


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## sweetbuthyper

Well rang doctors yesterday and bloods are all clear yay! however i still itch and its bringing tears at 3 in the morning :( hopefully it will easy working on the theory i may be too warm in bed so gonna cool our room down tonight see if it helps. 

Other news on baby front is hes back to being nameless, i can't get on with xander its just not sticking and can't imagine calling it him and OH didn't like it anyways so back to the drawing board.


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## dextersmum

hope your itching eased last night sweet. Have you tried calamin lotion? it is used for things like chicken pox and heat rash not sure what it in it but you could ask at a chemist??

Well "bean" it is then for your little boy until you decide on a new name have you got any on the list yet

My mum felt Lexi move yesterday, which was lovely because my mum doesn't like touching peoples bumps but when I told her Lexi was moving she put her hand on my bump and felt her :happydance:

went to the pram shop where we bought Dexters pram with my mum yesterday and the racaro akuna is old stock so we won't be able to get that one for Lexi. My mum buys our pram as that is what she did with my sister and brother and she was looking at ones that were twice the price as the last pram and telling me we could have it so at least I know if we don't find one that was as good a deal as the last one there is more money in the kitty :thumbup:

hope everybody has had a good weekend :flower:


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## sweetbuthyper

woop i had a whole nights sleep only getting up to pee :) ok so the itch isn't an itch ( well it is but my skin isn't the cause) have narrowed it to either circultaion or Restless leg syndrome. Managed to get to sleep with minimal itch and not having to scratch by having the top half of my body raised a a folded duvet under my calfs/knees so they were raised helped so much :) 

dextersmum caromile lotion was next on my list to try but oh forgot it from the shop yesterday and then i realised its possible i can't used it i'm allergic to baby lotion and i'm not sure if they have similar ingredients both being lotions. 

unfortunatlyfor us we are paying for the pram altho now oh is finishing work we are eligable for the sure start grant so money is a consideration in which we pick. 

As for beans name we have a shortlist we are adding to and i final short list of names we agree on so far it has two names:-- Tristan and Danyael (pronounced Daniel) Danyael is what Nathaniel was going to be called before he was born its a name the oh always wanted and daniel is his dads name, i just couldn't call nathaniel that a) didn't want to upset his dad and b) it just didn't feel right ... saying that OH has reminded me i didn't actually really like the name Nathaniel when we were choosing names altho i remember it being a back up. 

therefore the current plan is to have a final list of 2-4 names (depending on how many we can agree on) and then decided when bean is born... knowing me i will pick one not on the list but its so hard to decided before hes born and i choose then go off it so gonna see how they fit him :) 

Bean made my tummy ripple the other day but has been a little quieter since think he wore himself out, not feeling kicks on the outside yet to much padding and my placenta is on the front so in the way in places that have a little less padding.


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## nicola ttc

Hi ladies. Quick update as only get connection in the loos here! Got admitted to hospital fri morning with small bleed and contractions. Transferred to homerton in london with level 1 nicu. Had 2 lots of steroids, a drip then a tummy patch (thats a new one for me!) to stop pains which seems to have worked. Pat h came off at 7 last night and nothing started since then so now need to get upand moving to make sure they dont come back then. Drs think small bleed may have irritated uterus thats why the ctx's. Scan tomorrow morning to check babys weight then hopefully home if all still settled.
Sweet, we go back and forth with names too. Currently have Eden, Evie and Elizabeth on the list but i cantimagine calling her Elizabeth even though i like the name. :shrug:
Will update any changes but hopefully all will stay settled now.


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## sweetbuthyper

fx things stay settled for you Nicola, and they manage to keep the contractions at bay and you can go home soon.


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## dextersmum

bloody hell Nicola hope everything has settled down and contractions and bleeding have stopped and you are being looked after at the hospital or you get to go home soon with everything settled. Why can't we just have a straight forward pregnancy after what we have been through. Everything certainly is sent to try us. Please let us know how your scan is tomorrow. I will be thinking about you and am sending positive vibes your way xx :hugs:

Sweet glad you have found a way to ease your itching hope it continues to work. I like both the names you have chose so far. My nephew is called Daniel. I suppose the only thing about spelling a name a different way is that people will spell his name wrong as they will automatically think it is spelt Daniel. 

I have had an up and down day today. Decided I need to do some more clearing in the baby's room so started on the wardrobe which meant going through the clothes and taking out all the boys stuff and replacing it with what we have got for Lexi. The tears started as soon as I took out the outfits I had bought for Dexter coming out of hospital and then I couldn't stop them once I found his premature baby clothes and then continued to move out the blue clothes to replace them with pink or girly colours it felt like I was clearing Dexter out of the room.

Lexi has been having a quiet day today too, which always makes me a little uneasy. I have felt her move but everytime it is just one or two kicks where she usually does more but it is the weekend and she has been known to be quieter over the weekend??

Hubby has been driving me mad today too. Just wish he really understood what I am going through and what it is like being pregnant and having all the worries and hoping everything is going well with the baby. We went to Tesco and I told him I felt dizzy and his response was "nothing new there then" I was really p**sed off with him and did feel a bit out of sorts walking round. So I let him pack all the backs and unpack them when we got home. My friend phoned me when I got home so I spent 20 minutes on the phone with her whilst lying on my bed so felt much better after that :thumbup:


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## sweetbuthyper

dextersmum we have all that to come really need to sort though all our baby stuff tomorrow so we can write a list of what we need have been putting it off. 

As for dizzy in tesco i'm sure its the lights in supermarkets i now can't walk round any of them oh has to wheel me round coz i start to feel dizzy straight away and tend to actually faint :( 

Bean has been quiet most of the day then i went for a lay down coz i was feeling funny and he made me jump kicking hard, i'm sure lexi is fine just tired and chilling.


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## amjon

Dextersmum, we need to do the same in reverse. We need to go through everything and take out all the pink/ purple. 

We decided to go ahead and announce the babies' names on FB today. I had DH take a picture today. We also had my dad help with our 2nd maternity shoot. :O) They'll be going to the MFM with us on Thursday before they head home, so we're happy about that. :)
 



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## dextersmum

sweet I think you are right about the lights because I felt funny all the way round I just wasn't impressed with my husbands response but I suppose it was a typical man response lol.

Amjon I love the boys names Ashton and Austin. Is that your bump on the photo? if so it doesn't look as big as you told us it was :winkwink:

It is a hard thing to have to do going through your baby's things to sort out what you have for the next baby. So many things to cry about when you see the things you have that your angel didn't get to wear or play with. I don't think for me there is ever going to be an easy time to do it so if there tears flow when I do it then so be it :hugs:

baby is moving a bit more already today I just wish she would kick hell out of me every day so I know she is ok. I really would not complain as I love feeling her moving about more :thumbup: and just get a bit anxious when she is quiet.

Nicola I am thinking about you today and hoping everything is good on the scan and baby is growing as she should be and bleeding and contractions have stopped :hugs::kiss:


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> Amjon I love the boys names Ashton and Austin. Is that your bump on the photo? if so it doesn't look as big as you told us it was :winkwink:

For me it's huge. I never got this big with Taylor. I've also still not gained any weight (was down a bit actually at my last visit). I was actually measuring 28 weeks last week, so for 21 that's huge. ;)


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## dextersmum

Thinking about you Nicola hope everything is ok x


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## nicola ttc

All ok thanks Tracy. Got home tonight, scan was fine, all settled. Baby weight estimated 2lb 4oz. Have follow ups next week and hopefully all will be ok now.


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## Krippy

Glad the scan went well Nicola! Thinking of you!


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## Springflower

Argh I've missed so much! Nicola - How very scary! So pleased to hear you are home and your little miss is looking ok. Before Christmas I had contractions and it was discovered I wasn't drinking enough so I've really upped my water intake. I'm sure you are already on it, but thought I'd mentioned it just in case! I love Eden, it's such a gorgeous name. i retired my oh with it the other day and he said he wanted to sleep on it but then decided he didnt like it. So we are still at Lara and Cassie. Well Lara really as Cassie is a no for me but I havent mentioned anything to oh yet!:haha:

Tracy - I wouldn't worry about work. Whats £900 in the grand scheme of things. It sounds like you are concerned so if you are worrying I would cancel the job. You and your bubba are all that matter. 

Sweet so pleased to hear your bloods are normal. That itching thing is odd isnt it?

AFM had another growth scan. Baby is now right on the edge of normal small so I'm now going to have full growth scans every two weeks. I have a feeling she's going to come early becuase of it but we'll see. In some ways I do feel better as I knew I was small and now its been confirmed.

We met with the hospital yesterday about this baby and my care during and after birth. I'm starting to feel quite anxious. I'm terrified the bug will get either me or this baby. Just got to hope everything will be ok. I know the hosptial are on the case though so that does offer me some reassurrance. I'm so confused about what to do. Whether to have an ecs or try natural. No one really knows what is safest for both of us. Wish we could magic her out!


Re buggies - For the girls we had an icandy peach blossom. When we lost Marnie I was going to sell the whole thing but then decided just to sell the "twin" bits and keep it as a single buggy. My old boss has a Phil and Teds double buggy which she has kindly given to us so we will use that. 

Hope everyone else is going ok. 

Lexi - are you ok? You havent been about much recently?


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## Springflower

OMG - I'm next!!!!!!!!!!!!:wacko:


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## sweetbuthyper

glad your out of hospital nicola. 

afm - the itching is a little less, think its due to getting to hot possibly and rls combined. however i can't stand being cold and it doesn't really help as i already have the heat rash, i'm very tired today because i didn't get to sleep til nearly 4 woke up to hubbys alarm at 7 and didn't get back to sleep til 9 had to get up at 11 as felt bad as the dog needed to go out, shes so good with me getting up late but i always feel bad. 

add to that i also have tooth ache today, hoping its just because my gum is sore behind it altho i know the tooth has a massive hole in and needs to come out at some point, would just rather that be after bean is born due to a) its a wisdom tooth and so probs difficult to get out, b) i'm prone to dry socket naturally c) i'm on hormones that make you more prone to dry socket, and so could really do with nursing it through so i avoid antibiotics and extreme pain during pregnancy, gonna up the corsodyl use and see if when the gum heals the tooth settles. 

We went through baby clothes yesterday, i am actually suprised how little we have i remember having more and although we have short sleeved vests coming out of our ears we don't have that much else. I do know we gave away alot of vests ( hard to see we still have so many) and baby grows altho we still have loads of those as well. It wasn't as hard as i expected altho not sure if i can use the little roo stuff as that was brought specifically for nathaniel as we called him little roo, but i will probs change my mind and be ok once bean is here. 

still need to gro through the mountain of baby stuff we have in the loft but think i have a basic idea of what we still need to get and it seems alot :wacko: but i guess thats what happens when you give stuff to family who have babys after you.


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## dextersmum

so glad to hear you are home and things seem to have settled down for you Nicola. I bet that is a relief.

Alex how big do they think the baby is at the moment and have they said why she is on the small side? What did you mean when you said you are terrified the bug might get you or baby? Did the hospital say that you will have to have the baby early because of her growth or are they just going to keep checking her every 2 weeks and ensure she is growing?

I am not having a very good day today as I am a nervous wreck (again) just feel that Lexi has not moved much today and at certain times when I am used to feeling her eg lunch time I haven't really felt her. I had a midwife apt and yet again I was crying in her room and talking about how paranoid I feel at the moment. She listened to Lexi's heartbeat and it was steady with no decelleration. She said due to the fact that I am only 25 weeks the hospital would not be able to do anything other than listen in on a doppler and I have a scan booked for thursday followed by consultants apt. So I am going to see her at 8.30pm tonight to listen to heartbeat again and then again tomorrow that way we will be able to see if it stays at a steady pace or changes. I have had a lie down and listened to a relaxation cd and felt baby move with some stronger movements and felt her the odd time since. Midwife also thinks she may be lay with her back to my stomach as she felt like the baby's heartbeat sounded like it was in the background rather than at the front. She also noticed on my scan that I had on the 23/2 when I was in hospital said anterior placenta yet I remember asking the sonographer and he verbally told me it wasn't anterior?? so that could be another reason I can't feel Lexi as much today. BUT I tell you I am a nervous wreck and can't turn off the negativity in my head and the little voice of doubt. I know the fact that mothers day on sunday and then Dexters angelversary the wednesday after are playing heavily on my mind and I am really paranoid that something is going to happen to Lexi around this time. I am driving myself mad ladies so if any of you have any advice of what you do to calm yourselves down when you are having a bad day I would appreciate some advice because I am worrying myself into a mad state


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## Springflower

Lovely, wish I could give you a big hug. I wish I had some wise words but I don't. All I can say id that I'm EXACTLY the same. Yesterday I was howling at my cons. I'm terrified that this baby is going to die inside me or something will go wrong in delivery and I'll lose her then. For me the worry is getting worse. I'm not sure if like you its because Marnie's anniverary is soon.

This would be my advice. Talk to your cons and dont hold back, tell him/her how frightened you are. It's their job to try and reassure you and it thats by more scans or with something else then fine. You need hand holding through this process. I'm having lots of movement worries. I barely feel her and it freaks me out. All we can do is hang in there.

The drs think I might now be a carrier for the bug which ultimately killed Marnie and which we nealry lost Indya too, So if I'm a carrier the baby will be to which means there is a risk to both of us. Hate that f-ing hospital for what they have done to my family!!!!!!!!!!

If the baby carries on at the rate she is, she'll be 5lbs when she is born. They are hoping that by keeping an eye they can keep her in for as long as possible, but I think that my worry and stress may well push them to get her out earlier, but we'll see.

Lots of love chicky. Happy to pm you my mobile number and we can go crazy together.:hugs:


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## dextersmum

Alex it would be great to swap numbers so that we can support each other if you are happy to so that as it sounds like we could both do with someone to talk to at the moment x


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## Springflower

Have sent you a pm Tracy

:kiss:


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## dextersmum

thanks Alex I have sent you a text so you have my number and we can support each other over the phone.

Having a better day today as I am trying to relax but keep my mind busy with a bit of work and I have felt Lexi move more and have been recording every time I feel her. Also been to see midwife to listen to her heartbeat and it is beating away strongly with no decelerations which is great. I have my scan and consultant apt tomorrow morning so am hoping for some reassurance from that or at least an update about whether baby has grown in the last 2 weeks and everything is ok with placenta etc and I will talk to the consultant about my worries and nervousness.

My midwife is lovely and prepared to see me everyday if that is what I need. I have another apt with her next monday but fingers crossed I will be a little more relaxed after the scan tomorrow. Such a roller coaster journey this pregnancy


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## sweetbuthyper

i feel kind of lost with what to say to you girls who have angel 1st birthdays coming up nathaniels seems so long ago and was i guess ( 8 months) and unless i go over due with this little one i wont be pregnant on his next birthday i'm actually due the day after. 

all i really can say is it does get easier it still hurts and the pain is still there but the first of everything as so much harder. eg this christmas was a lot easier than last x


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## Springflower

Thanks Sweet:hugs:

It's not Dexter and Marnie's birthday's, it's coming up to the date which we lost them. They are a few days apart. I hope you are right and it's harder this time because it is a first and also I guess being pregnant it brings it all back doesnt it? Mother's day I suspect doesnt help.

Tracy - So pleased to hear today is a better day. Your midwife sounds lovely just what you need!

Hope everyone else is doing ok:hugs:


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## sweetbuthyper

ah sorry guys well i guess for me its the same day so i just assumed, either way i would say that the first are still harder, not sure if having the birthday and anniversery of loss on the same day is better, worse or just the same. having not been through it i can't seem to compehend how hard having them for a few days/ weeks would be, sometimes i wish i got that to spend some time with him others i think its easier because i didn't get it. :shrug:

Mothers day last year was hard ( i think i found it harder not being pregnant because i wanted to be so badly), this year not so much but i'm not sure if thats because i'm pregnant and so fx i will get to experience it next year or because i'm 24 weeks on mothers day and its v day. which i know isn't any comfort to those that lost after that but is a real comfort to me because it gives some hope.


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## dextersmum

we have to hang on to anything that gives us hope sweet that is why I am prepared to go to my midwife every day to listen to Lexi's heartbeat because as long as that is steady and shows no deceleration that gives me hope that she is happy and well until I am further along in the pregnancy and the hospital can do other things to monitor me if I am worried in any way.

I did a 25 minute relaxation cd at about 8pm and I lay on the bed listening to it and Lexi was moving about so that gives me hope and again it is something I plan to do every day at least once just to be able to relax and hopefully feel Lexi whilst I am doing it. Just had a bit of ice-cream and got a few kicks from that. Just trying to find ways to relax and have hope for tomorrows scan so that I can get some sleep tonight.

I think I am going to find mothers day hard because last year we lost Dexter 4 days before mothers day and this year it is mothers day first then Dexter's angelversary 3 days after. I suppose I am wishing that I had had mothers day with Dexter last year before he went to heaven.

Well I am going ot watch OBEM now lol


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## dextersmum

had our scan today and lexi was moving about all the time and was giving the sonographer a run for his money when he was trying to take all her measurements and check the placenta doppler. I couldn't feel all of her movements but hubby said she didn't stop. That could be why I am not feeling her all the time too but she is moving about?? We have been told her weight is in the lower 10 percentile which means she is in the bottom of average for that and they are not overly concerned at the moment but I have another planned scan in 2 weeks so they will check again if she stays in lower percentile or goes above it that is good but if she goes off that scale then she is classed as small and I will have to have a scan every two weeks to check her growth so really hope she starts putting on weight now all her measurements are right for the gestation and she actually weighs 728g and Dexter was 730g when he was born so she is the same weight as her big brother was when born so as long as she keeps putting on weight all is good.
The consultant told me that if I am ever concerned about babys movements or pattern I should phone triage straight away and they will see me because they are there 24/7 and even if I go every day that is fine so that is reassuring.

I am off to the Girls aloud concert tonight with my niece and step daughter so I will see if Lexi dances to loud music

How is everybody else doing??


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## sweetbuthyper

beans being quiet today:( i have felt him so i know hes ok and he has had a busy few days being up all night so guess he is just tired now, sure he will be jumping around again later on and i will be saying how uncomfy it is when he boots my cervix. 

otherwise tooth ache and sore gum have gone yay, just run down with a cold,
counting down the days til sunday now, and have midwife next thursday gonna have a chat with her as i'm a tad worried by my lack of weight gain altho i know the rest of my body is shrinking so guess its just that. 

glad lexi is doing well dextersmum and fx crossed she starts gaining now. i should have my first fundal height measurement i think next week just fx hes on the chart and growing well my bump hasn't really gotten bigger or i don't feel it has in the last 2 weeks.


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## nicola ttc

Glad your scan went well Tracy. :thumbup:
What is 728g in lb's and oz's?! :haha:
At my last growth scan at 24 weeks they were saying baby measured 23 weeks or slightly less on some measurements but by the scan on monday, 26+6, she was back on track and above for weight!
Sonographer said it happens quite often where baby has a growth spurt, then a little rest then growth spurt again so it's not always a consistent day to day growth but usually evens out over a few weeks iykwim?! Not sure that made much sense, sorry! :dohh:
Have fun at girls aloud!

I'm doing fine thanks, heartburn is kicking my butt but will gladly have that over more tightenings!!


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## dextersmum

baby is measuring at right gestation for all the growth charts of height etc but it is her weight that is saying she is in 10 percentile. The weight is approx 1lb 10oz Nicola. It is nice to hear stories where other babies have measured behind and the caught up with where she should be.

Sweet my consultant told me that if the baby has a pattern when they usually move and they don't stick to that pattern then you should phone your triage dept at the hospital if they have missed a couple of the times that you would usually feel them moving rather than the old fashion way of saying as long as you feel baby move 10 times in 10 hours because they now also work on babys pattern of movement so if you know your baby is more of a night owl and he is not moving until the night that should be ok but if there is a pattern of when he usually moves during the day but he doesn't then it might be worth making a call??


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## sweetbuthyper

dextersmum hes usually quiet during the day, was bouncing around and kicked hard enough for oh to feel earlier :), he doesn't seem to have much of a pattern other than being awake when i go to bed between 10-midnight and has been up when i have for the last few nights at 3 in the morning. usually i start to get worried then he boots me like stop being stupid and goes back to sleep lol


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## dextersmum

glad OH has been able to feel bean sweet it is lovely when that happens. Sounds like baby is a night owl and that could be his pattern??

Went to Girls aloud concert last light and Lexi was very active when support act was on between 7-8pm but fast asleep when girls aloud were playing apart from one of their new songs near the end when she kicked me so hard twice that I nearly jumped out of my seat. She has been a little quieter so far today but if she isn't active at her lunch time pattern I will think about calling triage


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## sweetbuthyper

Well after saying hes awake all night he slep last night lol i think anyways as i managed to sleep quite well last night, thought he was being quiet this morning and was gonna call midwife but just had a cup of tea ( crave it so much decaf bags are arriving tonight whoop) and he is bouncing around to be fair i've only been awake an hour so can't blame him for being asleep. 

oo and our pain samples have arrived for the nursery, we are redecorating the whole house as it needs doing and we asked permision last september from landlord but it go pushed back due to being to cold to do it. nursery is only room that is going to have colour tho rest of the house is staying white.


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## _Lexi_

Hey everyone. Glad to hear everyone is doing ok. Tracy, I'm sure her weight will catch up, at least she's still on the scale which is good. I'm getting nervous about tomorrow. Mothers day was a bit of a blur last year, but I do remember oh getting me a card from Joshua. This year, not only is it mothers day, but it's my birthday too. So mixed emotions. Baby is constantly kicking, oh feels pretty much every movement she makes. No one ever really felt Joshua as he wasn't big enough, or strong enough, and the lack of fluid meant he didn't move much. My bump is already bigger than I ever got with Joshua, even at delivery, but still quite small. What do you ladies think? 
https://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/ducksdontquack/23EF1865-9CB2-4A8A-BD89-A220D7A3F73F-209-0000001898C21824.jpg
Excuse the dirty mirror, clearly I need to do some dusting!!

Hope everyone is doing alright, and that tomorrow is gentle on you all xx


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## dextersmum

Lexi that is a lovely bump you are a slim lady so it is very easy to see you are pregnant. I am having another nightmare weekend as I started bleeding again yesterday early evening and got admitted and have spent another night in a delivery suite being monitored. They did a thorough scan this morning to look at whether the bleed is coming from baby or me and I was crapping myself as if it was from baby she would need to be delivered today. Consultant is confident it is coming from a lobe on my placenta which is a bit like an arm coming off it which is unusual (why can't I just be normal?) so now I am being observed and monitored. The bleed was a lot less than last time and has already turned to a light, brown discharge which is a good thing. Not sure how long I will be in Hospital for but I will stay her for the next 12 weeks if that keeps baby safe


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## _Lexi_

Oh no :( hope everything's ok. I've never heard of that before. At least they don't think it's baby though. What a scary time for you. xx


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## LoraLoo

Beautiful bump :flower:

Evening ladies, hope nobody minds me asking- but did you all get an early scan in your current pregnancies? I saw my GP yesterday to let him know I was pregnant- im to book in with the midwife in a couple of weeks when i will be 8/9 weeks. He was really good but he didnt mention an early scan and i completely forgot to ask, only thought on when i got home.

It just seems like such a long wait to 12 weeks :(


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## _Lexi_

I only had an early scan as I had severe pain and some bleeding and they were worried about ectopic, otherwise I wouldn't of done. I asked before that, and they just said there's no reason for an early scan, like any other pregnancy. x


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## nicola ttc

Tracy poor you! So scary. Glad evetything looks ok with baby though. Hopefully all will settle again and you'll just have to be monitored more, but you're right- if staying in will be safer for you and Lexi then i'm sure you'll willingly do it! Thinking of you lovely. :hugs:
Loraloo i didn't get an early scan this time as generally my problems aren't anything that start early. 
It did feel like a looonnngg wait til 12 weeks!
Lexi you have a lovely bump! I have a bit of bump envy. :blush:
Mine is a lot more squishy round the edges!!:haha:
Loraloo i saw Tasha is pregnant from your siggy! Tell her to come join us. :thumbup:


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## nicola ttc

Tracy poor you! So scary. Glad evetything looks ok with baby though. Hopefully all will settle again and you'll just have to be monitored more, but you're right- if staying in will be safer for you and Lexi then i'm sure you'll willingly do it! Thinking of you lovely. :hugs:
Loraloo i didn't get an early scan this time as generally my problems aren't anything that start early. 
It did feel like a looonnngg wait til 12 weeks!
Lexi you have a lovely bump! I have a bit of bump envy. :blush:
Mine is a lot more squishy round the edges!!:haha:
Loraloo i saw Tasha is pregnant from your siggy! Tell her to come join us. :thumbup:


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## LoraLoo

Thanks ladies. I guess my problem didnt start in early pregnancy either. Well, to be truthful, we dont even know what the problem was :shrug: I just went for a scan and he had died. Obviously Eve wasnt pregnancy related, but its worrying all the same. Worry all the way through pregnancy then worry some more when baby arrives. xx


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## nicola ttc

Ditto to that Loraloo! I've had early mc, lost Emily at 25 weeks and Edward from SIDS....the worry never ends! I do wonder if i'll be able to relax at all once baby is home or if i'll become a neurotic mess!! 
How many weeks were you with Alfie?
I think if i had asked, i would have got extra early scans because of our mcs before Elliot and for reassurance but i kind of thought - what could i do to change things if the worst happened?
I decided to try to enjoy being pregnant as much as possible as this will be my last time - regardless of what happens, it's hard but i'm trying!
I like Tracys favourite mantra - this is a DIFFERENT pregnancy! Reminds me to remember there is no reason the same thing should happen as did with Emily or Edward. 

Tracy i hope things are ok with you. 

Happy Mothers Day to all of you. :hugs: you are all beautiful mummys. :hugs:


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## LoraLoo

nicola ttc said:


> Ditto to that Loraloo! I've had early mc, lost Emily at 25 weeks and Edward from SIDS....the worry never ends! I do wonder if i'll be able to relax at all once baby is home or if i'll become a neurotic mess!!
> How many weeks were you with Alfie?
> I think if i had asked, i would have got extra early scans because of our mcs before Elliot and for reassurance but i kind of thought - what could i do to change things if the worst happened?
> I decided to try to enjoy being pregnant as much as possible as this will be my last time - regardless of what happens, it's hard but i'm trying!
> I like Tracys favourite mantra - this is a DIFFERENT pregnancy! Reminds me to remember there is no reason the same thing should happen as did with Emily or Edward.
> 
> Tracy i hope things are ok with you.
> 
> Happy Mothers Day to all of you. :hugs: you are all beautiful mummys. :hugs:

I know. All through my pregnancies with Amy, wIlliam and Alfie I worried, and people would try and tell me that Eve wasnt anything to do with the pregnancy so Id be fine. She may not have been but she died soon after, how could I not worry? And obviously i now have so many friends that i met through SANDS that have lost babies in pregnancy- i knew/know too much what can go wrong. Others would tell me that Id be fine when the baby arrived- wrong, i worried more than ever then, constantly checking on them. I still have never been able to leave Amy or William over night or for more than an hour with my mum if im really desperate, im too scared, so anxious that something will happen to them. 

I was 18 weeks with Alfie, just had an inkling :nope: Tried and tried to get an appt but the mw wouldnt return my messages, nearly 2 weeks later...no heartbeat. She told me i was listening to it, but i knew it wasnt. Sent me for a scan just to reassure me, and he'd gone.

This is our last baby too, so also going to try and enjoy it. Easier said than done though! xxx


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## dextersmum

Hi ladies just found out I am allowed to go home tonight as bleeding is now just a brown discharge on occasions. I am to go for a growth scan on the 21st march and I am praying that lexi has grown and it shows that there is good flow from placenta to baby. They are a little concerned that the umbilical cord is not going to the centre of the placenta it is at the side and I have the lobe off the placenta. I am trying not to be too worried and keep the faith that everything will be ok but there are a few things that are similar to dexters pregnancy it was around this gestation that things went wrong with the placenta and he had to be born. So my goal is to get through the next 2 weeks and try to stay calm and not crumble with negative thoughts and pray that I don't bleed again. Although there is nothing I can do to stop it happening


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## nicola ttc

I'm so pleased you 're allowed home Tracy. Are you glad or wouldyou rather have been kept in? I know i felt so anxious after being allowed home as there isn't that constant monitoring to make you feel safe.
I don't really know anything about placenta/cord position or what that means but hopefully the scan will show Lexi is growing well.
What was the placenta issue with Dexter? :hugs:


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## dextersmum

Hi Nicola I actually didn't come home until Monday morning as there was a change in the colour of my discharge so I stayed in for another night. I didn't feel as nervous coming home this time as I did the first time but I am feeling a little anxious today and am waiting for baby to move. I think being lay in a hospital bed makes baby move more and knowing you are monitored every 4 hours and lexi always jumped around when they were listening to her heartbeat. My midwife has said I can go see her anytime and every day if I want so I will do that if I feel the need. 
Apparently in Down syndrome pregnancy there is a higher risk of the placenta not working properly and at 28 weeks we found out it had stopped feeding dexter so he hadn't grown and needed to be born


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## nicola ttc

Hi ladies :wave:
It's been very quiet in here lately, hope everyones ok!

Tracy i get what you mean about movements in hospital - there's nothing much to do except lay and feel baby and if you are worried at all, you're monitored so often you know nothing is wrong. It is very reassuring but at least you have the option of going to mw whenever you need to. :thumbup:
How are you feeling today?

Loraloo have you got your first appointment date through yet? Hope everythings going smoothly.

Lexi, Sweet, Amjon and Spring how are you all doing? :flower:


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## amjon

nicola ttc said:


> Lexi, Sweet, Amjon and Spring how are you all doing? :flower:

We're doing good. Both of the boys were 18oz last week. We go back tomorrow, but they won't be doing weights, just fluid check (and heartbeat I'm sure). I've been feeling a bit run down. I think babies are just getting too big now and taking up so much room.


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## dextersmum

Hi Nicola I am ok today, went to my midwife to listen to baby's heartbeat for reassurance as she had been being a little quite although still feeling her. I have been doing a relaxation cd every day which Lexi moves around when I listen or it puts me into a good snooze. Think I am still catching up on my 3 nights of disturbed sleep in the hospital. It is Dexters 1 year angelversary tomorrow and I said to my mw today that I swear the bleeding happened to try and take my mind of it. What it did was make me pray that nothing happened to Lexi during this time and I asked Dexter to do his best to look after us both. I can't believe a year has passed since my precious and much wanted and loved baby boy grew his wings. It certainly has been a hard year to get through and continues to be a little difficult with this pregnancy but I am determined to stay as strong as possible. Dexter showed me strength, courage and determination these are words I used to describe him every day and they are things I need to show and have constantly and if he could do it so can I. Not sure what we are doing tomorrow but husband has taken the day off so I won't be alone.


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## sweetbuthyper

i'm doing ok :) have midwife tomorrow. I'm just relieved to make it to 24 weeks and counting the days til 28 now,


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## LoraLoo

DextersMum i hope today is gentle on you :hugs: Thinking of you and your precious baby boy xxx


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## nicola ttc

Thinking of you and your brave little Dexter today Tracy. :hugs:


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## LoraLoo

Midwife has just phoned me, shes pushed me appt forward to next sat and instead on the usual initial appt im just to pick up a pack from gp surgery and shes going to do the home visit. I have had her before when she has stood in for my old midwife and she is really really nice, so Im happy its hert this time.

Been to order my little mans headstone this morning so i have been really emotional! 

How is everyone else? xx


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## dextersmum

Hi Ladies

Its been quiet on here over the weekend. I hope everybody is well and happy and babies are growing.

I had a good weekend in that I feel better now that I have gone through all of Dexter's first milestones and that Lexi is kicking away and reminding me she is here on a daily basis and we have reached 27 weeks today. Does that mean I am in 3rd trimester? not sure as different websites say 27 or 28 weeks. Either way I am counting down the 77 days until the planned c-section on the 3rd of June and hoping there are no more issues before then but if there are then my mantra of "this is a different pregnancy" is being said on a daily basis.

what is everybody elses news??


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## sweetbuthyper

I'm ache today did to much over the weekend but was necessary family drama with the brother in law, basically long and short was social wouldn't let them ( and still may not) take baby and there lo home til house was clean, so everyone spent all day yesterday sorting it!, just hoping its enough waiting on news, 

I feel run down and achy as a result today, but i didn't feel right not helping hes a great dad, i dislike his girl she is lazy, and hasn't done the house work which is why it was so bad while expecting bil to run round after her and there littleone coz she was pregnant and apparently that means you loose ability to do anything, not sure how that works since i was sat on her kitchen floor emptying corners and cupboards of rubbish but hey ho, everyone can see bil deserves to keep the kids so needs must. 

i'm 25 weeks now!, and feeling a bit safer i hurt less moving around and i feel i can do a little more without getting too tired, bean is jumping around lots now and makes my belly twitch which is fun to see. 

I got 3 black bags full of baby clothes from ebay the on saturday all exciting to see lots of blue :), gave some to the sil who is ttc that were to chav for me but she loves them. I worked out i think i got 169 items, that i kept that is (tiny baby, newborn, 0-3 and 3-6 mix) for £22 so absolute bargin. 

hoping to get the little room sorted this week but need to rest for a few days and oh is knackered as well, so not making him do stuff when he gets in from work, we have time ( although less time than planned as we have a house inspection next monday, which seems pointless since we start decorating the following week but oh well its only once ever 6 months) 

dexters mum i believe 27 weeks counts as 3rd trimester congrats :).

how is everyone else doing? have any of you started buying yet?


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## sweetbuthyper

ooo i forgot to mention i found a cure to my itching, coconut oil :) sooths and stops me scratching.


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## dextersmum

be careful you are not overdoing things Sweet and make sure you find time to look after yourself. I know you want ot help you family but it sounds like you have over done things hun. glad you got a cure for your itching :thumbup:

We have got a wardrobe and cupboard drawers full of girls baby clothes some we have bought and some that my mum has collected from the charity shop she works at which is all lovely stuff and has saved us a fortune and I don't mind baby wearing second hand clothes for all the time she will be in them. I think we have enough vests for every day of the first month of her life and they all look brand new.

We are also adding more decorations to her bedroom. We kept Dexters blue colour as the base and have added more colours to make it more girly so it is coming along nicely.

We also have a load of nappies, baby wipes, creams and other baby toiletries and a bouncer :happydance:

I am not looking for a pram or car seat until we are passed 30 weeks.

My sister and brother have also bought us baby video monitors :thumbup:

so I don't think we have much more to buy.

I have 76 days to go until the planned c-section date and am using this as a count down now :winkwink: as it is less than what my counter says as will be doing it at 38 weeks


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## sweetbuthyper

I'm feeling better today altho still tired. Social were very happy with the work we did and sil and baby are allowed to go to her mums pending enviromental health coming to kick the landlord up the ass re rotten windows and leaky roof which isn't something we can control. 

Had a bad bout of braxton hicks/ false labour last night for an hour, painful but irregular, and tailed off after the hour so luckly didn't end up going to hospital. I was monitoring and timing tho, so confused as to when i am ment to ring at the min, consultants say any tightening but it seems pointless to ring for braxton hicks, so working on basis of unless they have a pattern there is no reasn to go in. beans fine and bouncy so not overly worried. 

dextersmum you are very organised, we need some draws altho they are coming after we decorate and we still need nappies and things, plan on getting them when i hit 28 weeks, pram will be around 30 weeks as we are waiting on money. 

I have 83 days til stitch removal which is when everything needs to be ready for incase it starts labour, but working on mini goals at the min next being 28 weeks :)


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## dextersmum

sweet we had a lot of things such as nappies, creams, wipes etc when we were pregnant with Dexter so haven't had to go out and buy it all this time just added a few bits to it and some of it have been freebies with different pregnancy groups eg bounty, emmas diary.

I have had a few tightenings but nothing that lasts too long or repeats itself regularly just keep an eye on them and phone triage even if just to ask them if you should go in and to talk about what is happening


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## dextersmum

hi ladies just wanted to post an update. We had a scan today and everything was great. Lexi has grown she is now just below the normal average range for her weight and on track for all her other measurements. Blood flow to the placenta is as it should be and there is no sign of any other bleeding so fingers crossed we are back on track. We have also booked the c-section for monday 3rd June so 10 weeks on monday :happydance:


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## sweetbuthyper

thats great news dextersmum :), my stitch comes out a week after your section and then the wait begins.. 

As for me no more pains other than ligaments, craving steak again so my iron must have dropped abit and i popped some more this week getting big now, turning over in bed is a mission feel like a turtle on its back sometimes lol. will post bump pics 2moz or later when i am dressed in clothes that don't hiddiously clash lol. 

Also managed to capture bean kicking on video today :) serious belly waves now hes getting strong and hes getting higher now which is good altho he is laid with his feet near my ribs now i think but beats them down low i guess. 

We are planning on setting up the cot this week ( need to make sure we have all the screws when we find them i put them some where 'safe' :shrug:) our friend just had her little boy hes tiny bless shes was only 29 weeks but hes doing well and a great weight at 2lb 13,


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## dextersmum

I was reading an article about cravings sweet and it said that it didn't mean a dificiency if you craved something so maybe you just want steak lol

That was a good weight for your friends baby I hope everything is ok with them.

I am definitely bigger this pregnancy and Anthony says my bump has grown. I went for a walk with the dog today and felt like I was waddling. I will try and take a photo and post it too


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## amjon

Glad Lexi is doing well, Dextersmum. We went to the MFM again today. I went to the OB yesterday. Tuesday night I had what felt like the same pressure I had during labor when I tried for a BM, so I stopped pushing. I was afraid the babies were going to come out. I told the OB, but she wasn't concerned at all. I told the MFM as she told me she wants to know about an pelvic pressure, contractions, etc. She decided they needed a TV U/S to make sure my cervix was okay, even though it looked fine on the abdominal one. They found it looked even better than on the abdominal and was 4.5 cm, so nice and long with no funneling. Next week she won't be in, so we'll have to see her partner. I think she has different techs, so it will be someone new. We like to get the one older tech as she takes lots of pictures. ;) The boys had good fluid levels, but they didn't do the measurements for growth this week.


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## sweetbuthyper

dextersmum i read that cravings aren't always due to difficiency but i only seem to crave steak when i also start to get tired and i also get cravings for cabbage (also high iron) i am prone to being iron difficent as i have small red blood cells so it's likly the craving matches midwife seems to think so too as my iron levels have remained exactly the same with no dips on the to tests i've had and she asked what my secret was lol. I have other random cravings that are totally unrelated to vitamins eg i craved pickle the other day which was just random.


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## _Lexi_

Hey, sorry haven't posted in a while. Been going through a bit of a rough time. Me and the oh have been having some problems, I found out he's been meeting up with his ex wife, texting/talking all the time and buying her things. We're on the verge of breaking up, I just need to find somewhere to go. I'm quite worried as they think all the stress during my last pregnancy linked to the iugr. Oddly enough, it was for the same reasons, he was meeting his ex wife behind my back. He hasn't even apologised and at the moment we're sleeping in seperate rooms. Baby has been fairly quiet, so I really hope everything's ok. Why are things never simple and easy :( x


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## Krippy

Awwww Lexi! I am so sorry hun! Try to get somewhere safe and relax for you and that precious bundle! Thinking of you!


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## nicola ttc

Oh Lexi i can't believe you are having to go through all this again!! You poor thing. I agree with Kristen, you need to get somewhere stress free and relax. You need to put yourself and your little one first. Big hugs lovely.:hugs:


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## nicola ttc

:wave: Hi ladies.
Haven't posted much lately but been reading! Tracy and Amjon i'm glad all seems well with your bubbies. 
Nothing new going on with me i'm pleased to say. :smug: Baby still cooking and still nameless. :haha:
Bump seems to have gone into growth overdrive this past week and is now right up pushing into my ribs and sticking out further than i remember being with any of the boys (or Emily). :shock: Nick keeps telling me i'm huge!
I can't believe i'm 30 weeks on Tuesday! I really didn't think i'd even get this far but now am thinking maybe, just maybe, i'll get my first planned section rather than emergency! Fingers crossed.....

How is everyone today? Any plans for this lovely haha:) 'spring' weekend?


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## dextersmum

Lexi I am so upset reading your post you really don't deserve to be stressed at this time or to have to go through this again I wish I lived closer so I could come and give you a hug. Is there anywhere you can go or any family members that can help you. I hope you find somewhere to go soon so you can get out of this situation and I hope baby starts to wriggle about and give you comfort :hugs:

Hey Nicola not seen you on here for a while but read on facebook you have had some nice days out :happydance: How are you doing chick have you had any appointments recently??

Krippy how are you doing? how is motherhood? :hugs:

Sweet I am craving cream cakes do you think that could be a calcium deficiency :winkwink:


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## nicola ttc

I'm good ta Tracy. Yeah, i met up with some friends from here this week which was nice. I hope we get to meet one day too. :hugs:
I had a scan and consultant at 28 weeks which was all ok, next scan/consultant appts are at 32 weeks and a midwife appt next week. When will your next checks be?
Nick has gone to his friends for cheese and port night :haha: (so just an excuse to get pissed really) so i'm sitting here stuffing my face with chinese. Nom nom nom. hope you're having a good evening?


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## dextersmum

Hi Nicola I am good thanks when I get through tonight it means I have broken the 2 week pattern of bleeding and needing to go to hospital so fingers crossed everything stays as it is tonight. My next apt is also 32 weeks because I had a scan and apt this week I am not going to have my 28 wk one next week so I have to wait 5 weeks until the 25th April unless something happens in between which I am really hoping doesn't. Have you got your c-section date yet?

I had pasta for my tea and am now going to get a bowl of sugar puffs for super as that is what I got from tesco's instead of a cream cake lol


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## nicola ttc

Mmmm now i want a cream cake :brat:
Hope tonight passes with no problems, have my fingers crossed everything stays settled for you.
No, they won't book my c-section til much nearer the time because of the likelihood of me not getting to 38 weeks anyway. If, after 32 weeks, i am admitted for any problems, they will do a section then or schedule one sooner rather than kep trying to stop contractions. Baby is currently bum down too. 
Do you have yours booked? I can't wait to have a date!!


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## dextersmum

I have my section booked for the 3rd June when I will be 38 weeks and I have put all details on my calender on my phone and it makes it all scary and real lol

so far so good this weekend with no bleeding so I think I have broken the 2 week pattern :happydance:

we had about 4" of snow over night and our dog loves the snow so have just took him for a walk and run around on the field I am knackered and he has only managed to sleep for 10 minutes lol think I will leave him and hubby downstairs whilst I sneak upstairs for a nap. I have noticed that I am now a little more tired (doesn't help that I have broken sleep with things like trips to the toilet, pgp, or cramp) and my strong sense of smell is back and I am feeling nauseaus with different smells :dohh:


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## Maxparedesmom

Hello was wondering if I can join in .. Lost my angel at 19 weeks 5 days 12/20/12 .. And just found out 2 days ago I'm pregnant with my rainbow :) I'm excited and totally nervous .. Have my first app in 3 weeks and I'm a little scared .. I should be due late nov
Not sure about the day.. Would love some nice ladies to talk to for support . U guys look great for that to me :)


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## AwesomeSauce

I would like to join you here as well. I lost a pregnancy at nearly 11 weeks due to blighted ovum, and right after that I carried my Sam for nearly 17 weeks. The pain of losing him was more than I ever imagined it could be. I am once again newly pregnant, and pretty much living in fear, bit trying to have faith. How did you get through the first half of rainbow pregnancy?


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## nicola ttc

Welcome ladies :wave:
Sorry for the loss of your angels but congratulations on your pregnancies!
The whole of pregnancy has been a scary time for me but i started to relax more the further on i have got. Those first few weks are tough but Tracy (dextersmum) has a mantra that i've stolen
'This is a different pregnancy'
Sounds so simple but when i've got really nervous telling myself this has really helped.
I got through a lot of my worries and bad days by talking to other lafies on here who just 'get it'. No neef to explain why you're having a bad day or struggling....
Always here for a chat or a :hug:


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## dextersmum

welcome Max and awesome the more the merrier for our group as being pregnant after a loss is definitely a testing time and as Nicola has said it certainly helps to have other people to talk to who completely understand where you are coming from if you are having a good day, a bad day or are some where in the middle.
I will not lie and say that being pregnant again has been an easy time for me but this forum has been a god send and we like to share and support and do what ever we can to get ourselves and each other through each day/week/month of the pregnancy.

Feel free to use my mantra of this is a different pregnancy and say it out loud or in your head because it really does help. Even when I have had similar events happen in this pregnancy that remind me of my last pregnancy I can often be heard saying "this is a different pregnancy and it is a different baby"

share with us what is going on for you and ask any questions and we will try to help

Tracy x

ps I have just had a nervous morning because Lexi usually moves between 6.30-7.30am and for once I was asleep during that time. usually I wake up just before. But this morning I woke at 5ish for a toilet trip and felt her move then and then managed to doze off and woke up again at some point felt her moving and thought it must be around 6.30am but didn't look at the clock and when I woke at 7.30am she didn't move again. Have felt the odd movement this morning but not as much as I have wanted so I have just been upstairs and listened to 10 minutes of my relaxation cd and felt her move several times and she is kicking as I am typing this so I can now have a relaxing sunday. Sometimes I know that stressing out is not going to make her move so I need to take time out to lie down, take some deep breaths and chill out and baby seems to love it when I do that lol


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## AwesomeSauce

Thank you Tracy. That is a mantra that I need right now. When I read it I cried. This is a different pregnancy and I must remember that. This morning when I woke up after a full nights sleep I panicked a little. I didn't have to get up to pee in the night and that always freaks me out. That has been the first sign that things are not ok for me. It is early, maybe this pregnancy this early I just don't have to pee three times a night. Every moment of every day I am praying for peace. I am struggling though. A lot.


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## Maxparedesmom

My husband tells me the same thing that I have to be happy for this Pregnancy and try not to make my self worry all the time .. I don't want to make my self so worried that I detach my self from this new baby because of what happened to my son..


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## nicola ttc

Maxparedesmom i really felt like i didn't let myself get attached to this baby at first, really it's only been the last few weeks that i feel i'm letting myself more. I think a few of us on here have felt that way but it does come i promise! For me it wasn't til after 25 weeks, the point when we lost Emily last time. 
It is such a worrying time and sometimes it is only other angel mummys who can relate to how you're feeling. We're here to get you through it though. :hugs:


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## Maxparedesmom

Yeah I'm going to be extra nervous around 20 weeks .. But I can only hope everything goes well and do my best to be healthy .. But I know it's Out of my hands so I try not to dwell on it to much and just enjoy being pregnant.. And god forbid something does happen I want to enjoy while I can


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## nicola ttc

Maxparedesmom i really felt like i didn't let myself get attached to this baby at first, really it's only been the last few weeks that i feel i'm letting myself more. I think a few of us on here have felt that way but it does come i promise! For me it wasn't til after 25 weeks, the point when we lost Emily last time. 
It is such a worrying time and sometimes it is only other angel mummys who can relate to how you're feeling. We're here to get you through it though. :hugs:


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## dextersmum

awesome and max will you be getting extra scans during this pregnancy as I have found that helped, although to be honest I have also been nervous before most of them too. Also did you get any counselling after losing your babies? if so it is a good idea to speak to your counsellor about how you are feeling during your pregnancy as it helps to talk to somebody. If that is not possible just come on here as often as you like and talk to us.

I wish I could tell you there is a magic and easy way to get through this pregnancy but I haven't found it. It is just a day at a time and on bad days an hour at a time with positive thinking, mantras and other people that understand and will listen and reply to a message. And a good cry when you need to. and don't worry if you are not always positive as that is normal


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## AwesomeSauce

dextersmum said:


> awesome and max will you be getting extra scans during this pregnancy as I have found that helped, although to be honest I have also been nervous before most of them too. Also did you get any counselling after losing your babies? if so it is a good idea to speak to your counsellor about how you are feeling during your pregnancy as it helps to talk to somebody. If that is not possible just come on here as often as you like and talk to us.
> 
> I wish I could tell you there is a magic and easy way to get through this pregnancy but I haven't found it. It is just a day at a time and on bad days an hour at a time with positive thinking, mantras and other people that understand and will listen and reply to a message. And a good cry when you need to. and don't worry if you are not always positive as that is normal

I didn't receive professional counseling after, but I did have a friend who had need through it before. Just her being around was invaluable for me, but our situations were slightly different, and I am wishing I had a real counselor to talk to. Today was just a really bad day for me. I cried a lot today. I told my husband what I was feeling, and he is sad that I am struggling, but he doesn't know how to help me. I am really grateful to have this place to share my real feelings and know that you understand why bad days happen. Part of me wishes I could be super happy and tell everyone I am pregnant, but if things end badly I can not handle the pitty looks so I have only told a handful of people.


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## Maxparedesmom

I am getting help I see a therapist . She says that me doing my volunteer work for (teeny tears and Molly bears ) is really healing for me . And I'm not sure if I'm going to be seen more I hope so Ill defiantly ask to be and if they don't want to watch me closer ill find another doctor that will . We pay there salerys why should I not get the care I deserve .. I had a horrible experience with my son max and I'm just hopping its better this time around. I'm only a little over a month and I've told everyone only becuase I know I need the support . I find it easier for everyone to know. Yes they will feel sorry for me and I can't stand it either but ill still need my friends and family to help me pick up the pieces and try again. I have a 1 1/2 year old that has really helped me through it ,but also I have a friend that's been thew it as well . I didn't really know her and her story till she found out I had lost my son Max. She reached out to me on Facebook saying If I ever needed a friend she was there. She is now one of my best friends and I talk to her every chance I get . But it's nice to have people to talk to yeah have had a loss and are pregnant again I'm truly thankful to just find wonderful women that share there stories and try to help others . I hope one day I will be able to share my story and help others


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## AwesomeSauce

I know that for me it is early to be getting sick, it seems like I haven't been sick until around 7 weeks, but I am curious. At what point did real pg symptoms kick in for you ladies?


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## AwesomeSauce

I thought about going in for a scan this Friday, but if things are bad I don't want to ruin Easter and my son's birthday, so I think I will wait until next friday if I make it that far. Next week is going to be really hard though. April 3 was Sam's due date.


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## LoraLoo

Hi Max and Awesome :flower: Congratulations on your pregnancies.

Sorry I havent been around much ladies, I feel a little bit lost at the minute. I had my first m/w appt on Sat and she is going to push my 12 week scan forward a bit so hopefully within the next 2 weeks.

Im trying to stay positive and the sickness is reassuring, but I feel really nervous about when i see the consultant. Id like a couple of extra scas for reassurance but ive never really been much good at being 'pushy', anyone got any advice with this? I did have extra with Amy even though Eve didnt die to anything pregnancy related, and I had extra with William but this was mainly because I had reduced amniotic fluid. xx


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## Springflower

Hi Ladies

Sorry I havent been about much, I think I'm starting to freak out a little because I'm starting to believe I might actually bring a baby home. My bump has offically grown so we are no longer falling off the scale!:happydance: I've been told to think about birth options now. I have no idea, I'm tempted by an elective c section. But need to speak to oh. I'll be 35 ws on wens!

Welcome to the new ladies!:flower: It's lovely to have a growing gang! I don't have any advice I'm afraid. I'm just taking it one day at a time. I returned to work with has really helped keep my mind off things. 

Loraloo - My advice is to howl. I have lost all self respect and have cried right through this pregnancy until I get what I want. It's worked. I've seen the consultant every 2 weeks and had a scan every two weeks. I really don't care, it's made me feel better and thats the most important thing. TBH most of the time I'm so scared my tears come without any effort! I'm sure with your history you shouldn't have any problems getting extra attention. But don't ben afraid to kick up a fuss.

Lexi - I'm pretty shocked about your OH. I'm afraid I don't have any advice. I've seen your thread in 3rd Tri. Wishing you lots and lots of love. You really dont need any extra stress at this time.:hugs:

Hi to everyone else:flower:

:kiss:


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## AwesomeSauce

I just scheduled a first appt. and scan for April 5. I will be almost eight weeks at that time. They wanted me to wait until 10 weeks, but I refused to wait that long.
After a blighted ovum I NEED to know if there is an actual baby in there. I don't think I will really ever be reassured that the baby won't die, but at least seeing a baby would be great.


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## LoraLoo

Springflower said:


> Hi Ladies
> 
> Sorry I havent been about much, I think I'm starting to freak out a little because I'm starting to believe I might actually bring a baby home. My bump has offically grown so we are no longer falling off the scale!:happydance: I've been told to think about birth options now. I have no idea, I'm tempted by an elective c section. But need to speak to oh. I'll be 35 ws on wens!
> 
> Welcome to the new ladies!:flower: It's lovely to have a growing gang! I don't have any advice I'm afraid. I'm just taking it one day at a time. I returned to work with has really helped keep my mind off things.
> 
> Loraloo - My advice is to howl. I have lost all self respect and have cried right through this pregnancy until I get what I want. It's worked. I've seen the consultant every 2 weeks and had a scan every two weeks. I really don't care, it's made me feel better and thats the most important thing. TBH most of the time I'm so scared my tears come without any effort! I'm sure with your history you shouldn't have any problems getting extra attention. But don't ben afraid to kick up a fuss.
> 
> Lexi - I'm pretty shocked about your OH. I'm afraid I don't have any advice. I've seen your thread in 3rd Tri. Wishing you lots and lots of love. You really dont need any extra stress at this time.:hugs:
> 
> Hi to everyone else:flower:
> 
> :kiss:

Thanks hun, Im pretty good at howling :dohh::blush: Cant help myself, its just even the smell of that place and the memories come flooding back and start me off! xx


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## Springflower

Oh I know, I can't imagine being at the same hospital. "Luckily" we were moved when Marnie got ill to another one. And then when Indya got ill we were moved to Brighton. Despite it being 1:30mins away it's the only hospital I feel comfortable in now. Going back to the same one must be horrendous. But they will really know your history and should be hand holding you throughout your pregnancy, please don't be afraid to push for anythign that will make you feel better. It's such a frightening time we need all the help we can get. I've taken to emailing my consultant now, poor bloke must be willing my pregnancy on as fast as possible. :wacko:

:kiss:


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## dextersmum

Hello ladies how are you. I had a meltdown this morning and was in tears before getting out of bed today is the anniversary of Dexter's funeral as well as that I am 28 weeks and one day gestation which was the exact time I had to have Dexter. And to top it all Lexi decided not to move at the time she usually does in the morning so i went into a complete panic I just burst into tears it all got too much. Baby then started moving and has been giving me big kicks all day which helped to make a sad day a little but better.

Spring you most definitely are bringing a baby home so all you need to do now is decided how you are going to being her into the world. Did you and hubby agree on a name yet?

Awesome glad you got an early scan booked


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## Maxparedesmom

I think in in denial in pregnant .. It's like till the doctor tells me and says everything
Is ok I might actually believe it .. Weird..


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## amjon

Welcome to the new ladies! 

I'm starting to get a bit nervous now. I'll be 26 weeks next Tuesday and Taylor died at 26+5 which also happened to be Christmas Eve which I spent with my family. This year it will be Easter that we all get together and I'm at basically the same point in my pregnancy. Last year I had Christmas presents for Taylor and this year they are doing my shower on Easter, so we'll have things for the boys to bring home. I know with Taylor she didn't have any U/S checks since 20 weeks and the boys are checked carefully every week now by the MFM, but having the holiday get together at the same point has me worried. I've also started getting pain in my right hip that keeps me from walking from time to time. I've had to hold on to DH just to get from the bedroom to the bathroom a few times today. We went out to eat and I was fine going in, but when we went to get up couldn't walk and had to lean on him. Everyone in the restaurant was staring at us as we left. I'm hoping the babies are just laying on a nerve and it will go away on it's own. I'll ask the MFM about it on Thursday though. Has anyone had this?


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## AwesomeSauce

I sort of feel the same max... Until I can see the heartbeat I am having trouble believing the is an actual baby in me. Not that seeing a heartbeat is at all reassuring. I saw Sam's heart beating four times and heard him many times before it all came crashing down.


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## Springflower

Just a quick one as I'm working. But for UK ladies who watch OBEM, tonight feature's a baby who sadly doesn't make it. Just thought I'd warn you in case you find it upsetting.

Amjon - What you are feeling is "normal" I am the same with this pregnancy. It started a few weeks ago and now I really struggle getting about. Apparetnly it's just the baby's position.

Tracy - Hope today is gentler on you. I'm the same it's Marnie's on the 30th and that was also the day Indy got ill too and they warned us we might lose her too. So I'm getting very twitchy.

Max and Awe - The beginning bit is very stressful. I had a private scan at 6.5 ws and that helped me a bit. I'd like to say the worry goes away but I think until you bring the baby home you won't relax. Sucks I know

I'm reaching the limit of what I'm able to cope with. I just want her here now. I'm in a permanent panic that she's died. I've decided I want a c section but oh is having none of it so its really causes issues at home.

We have had two late runners for names. Sadie and Erin so am thinking about those. Sadie seems to be the favourite.

So what's everyone up to for my weekend?:haha:

Spring:kiss:


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## AwesomeSauce

Sadie is my first daughter's name, so I might be partial to that!


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## dextersmum

spring I love both Sadie and Erin and Erin has always been on my list but hubby didn't like it.

Why doesn't your husband want you to have a c-section?

I am off to the hospital this morning for the GTT to check I don't have gestational diabetes. Baby has been a bit quiet so far this morning only felt her about 6 times but am trying not to panic. I usually feel her when having my cup of tea and breakfast but I can't have that this morning. If not much movement I will go to triage whilst I am at the hospital.

Not sure what I am upto this weekend. Hubby is working tomorrow and my mum is going to come and help me clean the house and my sister has invited us round to hers for dinner on sunday.


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## emnmaa

Hello lovely ladies!
I've been stalking you on and off for a couple of weeks. I don't come on here as much as I used to when I was pregnant with Maya, but I thought I'd pop in to say hi again.

:blush: So erm, hi!

So much has changed for us in the last 11 months since Maya died. We've moved house, my husband has got a promotion and I'm now 25 weeks pregnant with Maya's little brother.
We're getting absolutely brilliant care from our hospital - We've gone back to the same one we had Maya at, but are under a different midwifery team now. My midwife is absolutely lovely and I'm having lots of scans and consultant appointments.

I hope you're all having a gentle day and the weather isn't getting you down.

Much love :kiss:
Emma.


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## nicola ttc

Hi Emma :wave: good to have you here.
How are you feeling about things at the moment? I seem to go from calm and positive to absolute panic mode and back again about 10 times a day at the moment! 
Do you have any names in mind yet?
Spring i like both those names, I think Sadie goes well with Indy (or is it Indie- sorry i forget!)
Tracy, Erin was on my list too but oh doesn't like it because he went out with an Erin once (my friends sister actually :haha:)

I had my visit from the CONI scheme (care of next infant) this week. She went through the monitors and charts etc we can have
- a movement monitor that attaches to babys tummy.
- a huge weight chart which has lines between the lines in the red book. Fsid study has shown babies who die of sids often go down 1or2 of these inbetween lines before they die. Edward had lost weight but in the red book looks so minimal but on this chart shows he dropped over 1 line....
If they see any drop baby gets checked out by dr's/monitored.
- A 'paediatric passport' which goes in the red book. If we take baby to a&e or dr's for any reason, we get fast tracked straight to paediatrics rather than through triage etc.
- scales
- weekly health visitor visits for as long as wanted
- a daily 'symptom' chart so any changes can be seen easily.

So it's good to have that support there but has all made me a bit panicky as i don't think i'd really thought about actually getting baby home and it scares me more than the pregnancy now!!:cry:

Hope everyone is doing ok. :hugs:


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## LoraLoo

nicola ttc said:


> Hi Emma :wave: good to have you here.
> How are you feeling about things at the moment? I seem to go from calm and positive to absolute panic mode and back again about 10 times a day at the moment!
> Do you have any names in mind yet?
> Spring i like both those names, I think Sadie goes well with Indy (or is it Indie- sorry i forget!)
> Tracy, Erin was on my list too but oh doesn't like it because he went out with an Erin once (my friends sister actually :haha:)
> 
> I had my visit from the CONI scheme (care of next infant) this week. She went through the monitors and charts etc we can have
> - a movement monitor that attaches to babys tummy.
> - a huge weight chart which has lines between the lines in the red book. Fsid study has shown babies who die of sids often go down 1or2 of these inbetween lines before they die. Edward had lost weight but in the red book looks so minimal but on this chart shows he dropped over 1 line....
> If they see any drop baby gets checked out by dr's/monitored.
> - A 'paediatric passport' which goes in the red book. If we take baby to a&e or dr's for any reason, we get fast tracked straight to paediatrics rather than through triage etc.
> - scales
> - weekly health visitor visits for as long as wanted
> - a daily 'symptom' chart so any changes can be seen easily.
> 
> So it's good to have that support there but has all made me a bit panicky as i don't think i'd really thought about actually getting baby home and it scares me more than the pregnancy now!!:cry:
> 
> Hope everyone is doing ok. :hugs:

A bless you hun :hugs: I had both Amy and William o the CONI scheme ad found it brill, especially the monitor (still have it i fact :dohh:) it was such peace of mind. The only thing i didnt find helpful was the passport, as they never even knew what it was down A+E and i still had to go through the normal processed :wacko:


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## AwesomeSauce

I started to bleed today. Ultrasound confirmed that I am miscarrying again.
I feel so broken. So defeated.

How did you keep trying over and over again? How did you continue to risk putting yourselves through the anguish? I am so dead inside. Was there ever any explaination? Was there ever anything different you could do for the next time? Yet another scar on my heart.


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## nicola ttc

Oh awesome, i'm so sorry. :cry:
I don't know how i have carried on after mc's then losing Edward then Emily so i have no real advice i'm afraidd.
I guess the need for a baby overwhelmed any other feelings of fear. :shrug:
I am so sorry you are going through this. Sending hugs and strength to move forward. :hugs:


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## Krippy

I am sorry for your loss Awesome! Sending you healing and positive thoughts!


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## dextersmum

Awesome I am heartbroken for you it is such a cruel thing you are going through. Take some time to get through this and find out if you can have tests for recurrent miscarriage. I had these and although there was no obvious reason for mine I was still put on some medication this time that have possibly helped me to get this far. Always here if you want to talk x


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## Maxparedesmom

:.( been bleeding off and on for days .. I kinda feel defeated and down idk what to do . I wed every morning when I wipe for the first time in the morning and then all day I have nothing .. But every morning it's more and more . I don't have any hope left for this baby .. The doctors say they can't do anything . So that's even. Worse to sit here and not even know what's happening .


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## sweetbuthyper

Ok so i have been AWOL i have been in hospital for the last week :(. i went into ptl all is fine now baby bean is still in my tum and i've been allowed out of hospital, only complaint is the lovely rash i have from being allergic to the hospital sheets. baby has steriods on board now and he is doing just fine, i'm 2cm dilated and membranes were bulging but stable for now and my stitch has been removed. 

i'm home home now instead of at my mums and it feels werid the last week kind of feels like just a bad dream. I'm feeling fine just still itchy from the allergic reaction its gonna take a while for my rash to go down i decided against collecting my steriod cream for it as it is going and i would rather not give bean anymore drugs unless absolutly necessary and my being a little itch doesn't warrent the cream imo. 

i got my mum to bring the crib back with us so it is at our house now its the one she had me in as a baby :) just need a matress for it and to make it a bit more sturdy ( it is old just needs a few extra screws) 

have also ordered my pram found it really cheap ( well cheap for a phil and teds) so mum lent us the money till we get all the benifits we were ment to start claiming last week sorted out. I'm in serious nesting mode i though when i got to 24 weeks it was ok we had weeks and weeks to sort everything maybe wait til 28 to get big things and just pick things up here and there, however the doctors are now saying i'm a time bomb and i could go back in to labour at any time could be hours, days, weeks or months i could go to term or i could have him tomorrow so now feel like the pressure is on to get everything ordered and sorted here just incase, its irrational as i know there will be a long nicu stay if i have him now but i want everything done and sorted like yesterday.


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## dextersmum

Max what colour is the blood is it red or brown? when i was in hospital with my bleeds I would be worse in the morning because I had been resting during the night this is called pooling. if it is brown it is old blood and that is usually a good sign. i will keep my fingers crossed everything is okay for you. Please let us know how everything goes.

Sweet I can't believe you've been in hospital and had to have your stitch out I hope the baby stays port for at least another 10 weeks and everything goes well please keep us posted on how things are going. thinking about you. Did the consultant say what caused the early labour?

How is everybody else?


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## sweetbuthyper

dextersmum they found no cause for the contractions but i was bulging past the stitch when i arrive so the stitch had failed, unfortunalty its not uncommon and because i was contracting against it if they didn't remove it i risked tearing, still holding up on modified bed rest can potter but not allowed to do much or be on my feet long, have my own consultant instead of sheffields on the 9th so will see what she has to say about how things are going. It was all very scary i got blue lighted in the ambulence form doncaster hospital to sheffield as they were sure he was going to come ( took convincing at doncaster that they could move me as they wanted the stitch out straight away and wouldn't move me after it was out, managed to convince them it could stay till i got to sheffield as the contractions had started to die off, they started up again in the ambulence although weren't painful as i'd had pethadine), Doncaster aren't able to take babies under 27 weeks i was just shy of 26 when i went in. Midwife came out this morning hes head down at the min but not engaged, but he moves around so much he could be in any position within minutes. blood pressure and everything are fine, have been told any painful contractions or my waters go its a 999 call as if hes sideways as he has been and i go into labour it could be dangerous and he could come very quickly seen as i am already dilated. 

that was a very lenghty explination lol but yeah we think the stitch just failed and set the contractions off due to the pressure on the membranes, good news is i'm now past 27 weeks and everyday is a bonus, steriods have been in my system over a week now, hes meassuring correctly on scans and hopefully as i was only 1-2 cm dilated on last check it is possible for my membranes to go back in and hold on til term or beyond.


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## Maxparedesmom

It is red in the morning and brown the next time I wipe after that. Happens just the once every morning then nothing after that, went and got checked today she said everything looked good cervix was closed and we saw the sac and a little flicker but to early to hear the heart beat . She measured me at 6 weeks witch is further then I thought , so just hoping every thing is ok .


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## dextersmum

Keeping my fingers crossed for you max that everything is ok when is your next appointment?

Afm I am suffering with pgp again and my hips and down the sides of my legs ache during the night when I am trying to sleep and then I have to get up early as it is uncomfortable to lie in bed but I guess it is preparing me for broken sleep and early mornings.
The clocks going forward has freaked me out a little bit as I was Really clear on lexis pattern but it changed a bit now because of the time difference but isn't as clear is anybody else like this?


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## Maxparedesmom

It's April 15 .. Everything is crossed for me ATM lol


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## dextersmum

hi ladies how are you all today?

I took myself off to antenatal day clinic at lunch time (after making a phone call) as baby had been very quiet all morning and I just wanted to get monitored. As soon as they put the monitoring belts on my she started to dance around and do all her morning wriggles in the 20 mins I was on the monitor. The midwife was lovely as I explained my history and told her I am now a paranoid pregnant lady and she said that is what we are here for and it is fine to come and check things out. She said Lexi is a tinker because she never stopped moving the whole time. And she has moved quite a lot this afternoon and so far this evening. The clocks going forward have really thrown me as I was really used to Lexi's timings and patterns but now they are out of sync. I mentioned this to the midwife and she said that if I am walking around when baby is moving it is in effect like I am rocking her to sleep.

Max hope the bleeding has stopped today.

Sweet hope you are having no more contractions and everything is quiet on the baby front apart from his movements

Nicola how are you?

Lexi how are things with you?

Alex how did your consultants apt go today?


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## sweetbuthyper

i'm good all quiet, keep getting parinoid coz i get to evening and think i've not felt him move mch but i know i have and we have been busy decorating ( mainly suppervising) but i notice him less when i'm busy. i still haven't really noticed a pattern to his movement i think its because he spins so much he can go from head to the left to head to the right in the matter of minutes so its hard to know where to expect movements.


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## Maxparedesmom

The bleeding stopped on mon morning and of course the husband took that as a song
To "play" lol and I bled a little After that last night but other then that it all seems good just hoping on the 15 we will hear the heart beat . Waiting kinda sucks lol


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## amjon

Hi everyone! We went to the MFM for a fluid check today. She has me worried now because she said even small spikes in blood sugar can cause the babies to become hypoxic and suffocate. :( Normally when people think of GD complications they think of baby being big, but apparently stillbirth is also a very big concern. She thinks that may have been the issue with Taylor. They never did an autopsy, but don't know if that would have shown up anyway. We're just about at the point we lost Taylor now, so I'll really have to watch my BS more closely. Glad things seem to be going well for most of you. Dextersmum Lexi sure likes to scare you doesn't she. My little monkey moves most of the time, so I know most of the time he is fine. His brother hides out in his placenta, so I rarely feel him.


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## emnmaa

nicola ttc said:


> Hi Emma :wave: good to have you here.
> How are you feeling about things at the moment? I seem to go from calm and positive to absolute panic mode and back again about 10 times a day at the moment!
> Do you have any names in mind yet?

Hello again. Sorry for taking so long to reply, been in bed most the week with one thing and another. Nothing serious, just really tired and getting sick of pelvic pain!

I'm doing mostly alright. Little man seems to know when I need some reassurance and starts doing his push ups or whatever it is he does in there just when I need to feel him. I'm finding it hard to convince myself that everything will be ok this time and that we will get to bring him home. What happened to Maya was exceptionally rare, but that doesn't alleviate my fears of what else could go wrong. I'm trying to keep myself busy with this and that so that the fear doesn't take over too much but I know what you mean about going into panic mode!
We do have his name all sorted and are working on an alternative just-in-case! We have Ayaan Deschain as out first choice and Derren [something] as our second choice. Ayaan is the boys name we had picked out for Maya, but we could never find a middle name that fitted until now :)

Today I'm waiting to not have a phone call from the hospital - I was there yesterday for my GTT. They will ring if they found I have GD but won't if I don't. Kinda weird to be waiting for a non phone call but meh! More crochet time!

I hope you're all doing ok. If Awesome is still reading here, I'm so so sorry for your loss :hugs: to you.

Much Love,
Emma and boyby. xxxx


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## dextersmum

Amjon Lexi moves most of the time and gives some big movements too which is why on wednesday when I wasn't feeling her as much and when I did it felt weaker that is why I went to get checked out and that is what I will continue to do until she is here safely I don't care how many times I go to the hospital because they keep telling me to ring any time as that what they are there for/

I am sure you are on top of your bs amjon just keep a close eye on it now you have been given the new information.

The things we have already gone through should be enough instead of having issues in this pregnancy too so sending you a virtual hug.

Emma I know exactly how you feel every little thing is a worry and can cause panic mode the trick is to try and not stay in panic for too long which of course is easier said than done.

Have you got PGP Emma? is that what is causing your pelvic pain

Well Lexi has been giving me so big kicks and punches today which has been great and very reassuring and I really don't understand people (usually people on facebook who haven't lost a baby) who complain about a baby kicking them because it is one of the best feelings in the world when you are pregnant


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## _Lexi_

Hey, sorry I've been a bit awol recently. Can't believe I'm almost at 30 weeks!! With Joshua they were talking about delivering from 26 weeks, so it's nice not having the same stress. I had my 28w scan a week late on Thursday. Everything is looking great! She's on the 73rd percentile for growth and already weighing in at an estimated 3lb 1oz! It's hard to believe that she's already bigger than Joshua was when he was born. All my fluid levels are perfect, which was also an issue last time. Even though everything is looking good, I still can't relax though. Because we lost Joshua to a never seen before genetic disorder, they have no idea if all our problems during pregnancy, were even linked to what was wrong when he was born. It could all of been a coincidence. It's so hard. 

My nephew was born last week. I haven't seen of held a baby since Joshua. I went round my brothers and managed to hold Jacob for an hour and feed him a bottle. It was so weird, and very emotional and difficult, but I'm proud if myself that I managed to do it. 

I just miss him so much. People lie when they say it gets easier with time. It never gets easier, you just learn how to function with the grief. x


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## Springflower

Hey Lexi - Lovely to hear from you. I've been thinking of you, is everything better with your oh? What you said about grief is so true. It doesnt get easier we just have to find a way of living with it.:hugs:

Welcome Emma:flower: We have a nice little gang here!

Amjon - How are you doing?

Tracy - So pleased to hear Lexi has been kicking away, can she have a word with my bump? 

AFM, I'll be 27ws on Wens. C section booked for 29ws if bump hasnt come before that. So, so close now, just got to hang on a little longer....

:kiss:


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## dextersmum

Hi Lexi its lovely to hear from you and am so please baby is doing so well. Baby loss is definitely a hard journey and certainly something we have to learn how to get through. sometimes I think people think we are ok because we are pregnant and have another baby due but it certainly doesn't work that way. How are things at home for you?

Spring I think you have a typo in your update as I am sure you are 37 weeks not 27 weeks now :happydance: so not long for you and Dot now. have you decided on a name or are you waiting to see what she looks like? Have you managed to stop Indya's night feed?

Sweet how are you doing? I hope your silence for the last few days is because you are resting and nothing else??

Nicola how are you doing? When is your next appointment? Have you and Nick decided and agreed on a name yet?

Amjon how is your blood sugar? I had my GTT test at end of March and haven't heard from the hospital which means I haven't got GD which is a good job as I have eaten enough birthday cake for 4 people today it was so nice I kept getting more lol

Max how are you doing now?

Emma how are you?

I have been really tired today and suffered with a headache quite a bit of the day. Went for my whooping cough injection and asked the nurse to check my blood pressure which she said was fine. My arm is hurting now where I was injected and I can't really lift it as high as usual. Did any body else have this injection and suffered with arm pain?
I feel like my bump has come on all of a sudden. I went to try and get some new maternity clothes yesterday and felt like I looked like a sack of spuds in all the tops they had no shape. It doesn't help that I am having to wear nursing bras due to the size of my boobs and they are not underwired so I feel like my boobs sit on my stomach :haha: I went and bought an underwired bra just to wear on the odd occasion as I know they say not to wear underwired bra's if you are planning on breastfeeding :dohh:


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## sweetbuthyper

dextersmum i'm good been busy nesting getting babys room sorted very tired today as had to go to jobcentre and council to sort all benefits out and bean decided to be low and give loads of pressure all day, i'm fine now i fell asleep for 3 hours tho. Still nervy at any twinge but have consultant tomorrow not sure what to expect really as its all changed since i made my appointment but will see what they have to say. 

I've come of my cyclogest now which has lessened i think the itching a little but it's still driving me mad, don't really want to resort to antihistamanes but may have to gonna speak to consultant about it tomorrow as its only at night and keeping me awake. the cream i have is healing up the cuts but not taking the itch away. 

I think i have popped some more i seem to be growing my bump rather quickly at the min not sure if its a side effect of the steriods but will attatch a pic of my 27 week bump :) i'm bigger now already tho. 

Bra wise i can't stand any at the min makes me to warm that then leads to itching i only have one on to go out now which isn't to often. I have my gtt on thursday and my whooping cough vac on friday.
 



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## Springflower

Whoops! Yes, I'll be 37ws tomorrow not 27ws:dohh: Yes Indy's night feeds have now stopped and in the last day I've weaned her fully onto cows milk which will make things easier for family looking after her while we've in hospital. We were hoping for crawling/walking but doesnt look like she'll be doing either before Dot arrives. Very worried about how I'll physically coppe lifting her after the c section as she's very heavy now, but hey ho, it'll work out in the end.

We have a short list of names so will wait and see what she looks like when she comes out. 

Very common and normal to have a sore arm for a couple of days after the whooping cough jab. It was annoying because I then only had one side to sleep left.

Sweet - Thats a lovely bump! Sorry to hear the itching is still so bad htat must be horrible, but yeay for nesting! We really need to get a move on with that!

Lots of love to all.
xxx


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## sweetbuthyper

Well my consultant appointment was interesting, they didn't have my notes when i arrived then they found them but apparently sheffield haven't told them anything about me being there and they have no record of which confused me as doncaster transfered me in the first place, now waiting for a phone call from the hospital as they were getting sheffield to fax through my notes, as i had my stitch removed but they have no record in doncaster of it being removed :wacko: not sure why they need to ring me i know it was removed but will see what they say when they do ring, have to have blood tests for the itching and managed to get in with the midwife this afternoon to get that sorted, they have put me back on cyclogest til 32 weeks and i am in for a scan of my cervix lenght and fluid levels in two weeks. I'm confused tho, as on last check i was 2cm dilated so what are they looking for on the cervix lenght scan surely there is no lenght i'm dilated??? 

so all in been an intresting morning.


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## nicola ttc

Sweet that sounds a bit of a farce at the hospital! You'd think they would trust that you know the stitch has been removed :dohh:
Not sure what they'd be looking for at a cervix scan and you'd think they would leave things down there alone now the stitch is out and with everything else you've had going on. :shrug:
Spring happy 37 weeks and full term! 
Lexi i'm glad to hear everything is going well with bubs and she is growing big and strong. :thumbup:
Tracy i agree- baby kicks are the best feeling ever!
I hope you found some materniy tops that fit nicely! I haven't been offered the whooping cough jab. Not sure why. :shrug: hope your arm feels better today.

I hope everyone else is well. :flower:
I've not been on as much lately, school holidays are a busy time here! We had our 32 week scan yesterday and bubs estimated weight is 4lb - the same as Edward weighed at 32+2 when he was born. I have horrendous heartburn now and can't lean down to do anything without getting sick. :sick: pretty much living on gaviscon and rennies. Baby is bum down and her head right up in my ribs too.
Here's my 32 week bump pic.
https://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u620/nicolabird/20130407_211105_zpsc041b9fc.jpg


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## dextersmum

Sweet great bump pic sorry you have still got the itching but hopefully the blood test will give an indication as to what it is. I agree with the other ladies your hospital visit does sound like a farce and it is so annoying that hospitals do not share notes or that they did not give you a copy of your notes for your green file so you could carry them around. I hope you get everything sorted and both hospitals know where you are upto.

Nicola your bump looks fab I will have to try and take a photo only hubby has moved the long mirror off the wall so I will have to ask him to hold it up lol.
By the way I wasn't so much offered the whooping cough injection I just knew that they offered it free to pregnant ladies and so I mentioned it too my midwife who told me to contact my doctors surgery and ask them about it so it might be worth you doing that.

Alex I bet it feels better saying you are 37 weeks instead of 27 weeks :thumbup:

I think we have finally decided on the pram we are getting as I took Anthony to look at the weekend and then went back with my mum and sister. We are going for the Uppababy Vista travel system. We are lucky because my mum and dad buy it for us. It is nearly double what we paid for Dexters pram but that pram is not being made any more and we can find anything close to the price we paid.
Have you all decided on the pram or bought it yet?


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## sweetbuthyper

hey well hospital haven't phoned so i assume they still don't have my notes as long as they have them for my next appointment i'm not to fussed i know whats happening its just they don't :dohh: felt very surreal in my appointment calming the junior doctor down who was in a flap as she didn't know what to do, but we are still calm i'm still cooking and everyday is a bonus the doctors all just seem to be confused by the fact i'm still pregnant and haven't gone into labour yet, but hey thats a good thing hopefully i can go to term and really confuse them. 

We have brought our pram its sat by the back door no where else for it to live and wanted to get the dog used to it so she doesn't try to knock it over, We got the phil and teds navigator in the end with added carrycot, parents paid as it was on sale just have to pay them back when we have the money. 

Went to midwife this afternoon she did bloods for me so if anything is wrong should find out tomorrow, asked about piriton i need a prescription so asked at reception and they said they'd sort it but will be thursday before its ready, but at least i should be getting it.


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## amjon

Springflower said:


> Hey Lexi - Lovely to hear from you. I've been thinking of you, is everything better with your oh? What you said about grief is so true. It doesnt get easier we just have to find a way of living with it.:hugs:
> 
> Welcome Emma:flower: We have a nice little gang here!
> 
> Amjon - How are you doing?
> 
> Tracy - So pleased to hear Lexi has been kicking away, can she have a word with my bump?
> 
> AFM, I'll be 27ws on Wens. C section booked for 29ws if bump hasnt come before that. So, so close now, just got to hang on a little longer....
> 
> :kiss:

We're doing good. I had quite a bit of energy today and did a bunch of running around, then I sorted through most of our baby stuff and packed up the girl stuff again. :( I know I'll pay tomorrow. I have an appointment with the hematologist tomorrow and some bloodwork there. He may up my Lovenox dose. We had the carpet put in the nursery this morning and now I've got most of the boy stuff separated by size and ready to put away in the closet. It's kind of exciting having a nursery that is so closed to finished this time. With Taylor we never got to even paint and now we have new carpet, walls done, etc. This weekend I'm going to make DH help me put together the crib and changing table. I was dying to get it done today, but he's been so busy doing work projects all day. (I did get him to bring me some of the crates to sort though by doing a few myself. He hates to see me do anything like that.)


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> Amjon how is your blood sugar? I had my GTT test at end of March and haven't heard from the hospital which means I haven't got GD which is a good job as I have eaten enough birthday cake for 4 people today it was so nice I kept getting more lol

It's been okay, not great though. My fastings are creeping up again, so I'm sure they'll adjust my night time insulin again. They've had to adjust it the last two weeks already.
I hope your arm starts feeling better. It's such a pain being pregnant and uncomfortable. DH is still hoping for twin girls next time and I keep telling him he better carry them then because twins is much too exhausting. I feel like I'm at the end and I still have another 10 weeks to hold them in.


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## sweetbuthyper

hey guys i'm very very tired hardly slept but wanted to let you all know baby Zachary Anthony Keith was born in the early hours of this morning weighing 1160g around 2.5lb, i'm home now when i rang earlier he was doing well on cpap, had come off the meds stabalising his blood pressure and had had some breast milk, so hes doing well. will update when i've had some sleep x


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## amjon

sweetbuthyper said:


> hey guys i'm very very tired hardly slept but wanted to let you all know baby Zachary Anthony Keith was born in the early hours of this morning weighing 1160g around 2.5lb, i'm home now when i rang earlier he was doing well on cpap, had come off the meds stabalising his blood pressure and had had some breast milk, so hes doing well. will update when i've had some sleep x

Congrats!


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## nicola ttc

Wow Sweet, congratulations! Lovely name. Hope your little boy is continuing to do well. Big hugs. :hugs:


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## sweetbuthyper

Update on Zac hes doing well on cpap its set low and hes on it so he doesn't get to tired, blood pressures stable, hes now having feeds hourly of breast milk, we learnt how to do his nappy today, hes under the lights for juandice but they reckon he might be off them by tomorrow so all in hes doing well hes our little fighter :)


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## sweetbuthyper

photo of zac, hes around 2-3hours old here still with vent in.
 



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## Springflower

Oh sweet!!!! Congratulations, zac is gorgeous! ! And doing so well!!! 

How are you doing? Must be a big shock. 

xxx


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## JayDee

Just thought I'd say hi. We lost our daughter last year after a cord prolapse leading to irreparable brain damage. Just found out our rainbow is due in December.


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## Krippy

Wow! Congrats on your little boy Sweet! What a little sweetheart! Glad that he is doing well! Can't wait to see more pics!


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## _Lexi_

Congratulations sweet!! So pleased to hear he's doing well. Look forward to more photos and updates xx


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## sweetbuthyper

Zac Update, they had to turn his cpap up a bit coz he keeps opening is mouth and letting all the air out lol but its fine hes doing well on it.... We had him off cpap for 15 minutes breathing on his own which is ace and so good to see, We got skin to skin cuddles today felt so good to hold him :), we got his weight wrong at birth :O, he actually weighed 2.8lb silly calculator can't convert right, hes now on 1.5ml of milk an hour, blood pressure ect still stable so all in very happy with his progress. 

as for me i'm fine up and about as normal now just get tired easier but getting better with time :) will post more pics when i get chance


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## dextersmum

Oh wow sweet a lot has happened since I was last on the forum but I am so glad to hear that Zachary is doing well and it is great you got skin to skin if I was you I would ask if you could have that every day as it is great for Zachary and great for your milk flow. I used to wear a muslin down my top touching my skin and have another one close to dexter in the incubator and then swap them over so I could smell him and he could smell me. I hope everything continues to go well keep us posted.


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## sweetbuthyper

hey guys had a minor set back with his feeding he got bile in his tube so we had to start from the begining again and hes back on phototherapy but hes doing well still and his breathing is still good just on air on cpap but he tolerates being off it for short periods really well heres a pic of him off machines
 



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## dextersmum

How is everybody else doing?

I am 31 weeks today and feeling pretty good glad I am now in my 30's. I have 5 more weeks of working and 7 weeks until my section and lexi's arrival. I have a couple of busy weeks working so that should make the time place quickly and I have a 32 week scan next week.

Welcome to our group Jaydee how are you feeling?

Sweet Zac looks gorgeous x


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## dextersmum

Hi ladies it been pretty quiet on here the last couple of days how is everybody doing? I have been really busy working every day this week which is really unusual for me as I am self employed but I am not complaining as it means more money in the bank and has made the week go quickly I am just trying to get everything done with a particular client so I can take a couple of weeks off before 3rd July and then 4 months or so afterwards but without losing the client as it is good money and local. When is everybody else starting their maternity leave?


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## JayDee

Aww what a little cutie, hope he continues to get stronger.

Dextersmum, I'm feeling ok thanks. Well actually I'm feeling sick but won't complain about that given it's due to being pregnant. I'm also really busy with work, would quite like to say "give me a break I'm pregnant and I feel rubbish" but not ready to share that info yet so will just get on with it for now. Don't think they'll be over impressed with the news given I only came back a few months ago after having, and losing, our daughter but tough luck I guess...


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## dextersmum

jaydee it is hard isn't it when you are feeling sick but you haven't told people you were pregnant. I was pretty nauseas upto about 18-20 weeks and was even trying to hide it from members of my family but had to have a carrier bag with me at all times just in case I was sick but ended up doing a lot of dry wretching lol.

When will you tell work you are pregnant? When is your first scan?

Nicola how are you? you haven't been on for a while so I hope everything is ok x


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## nicola ttc

Hi Tracy :wave:
I'm ok thanks. Was back in hospital last week for a few days but all fine again now. Contractions and slight bleed again but not dilating. I was admitted at 32+2 which is the gestation Edward was born at so was especially difficult and scary. Thankfully all is calm again now though. I have consultant next Thursday and think i'll be getting my section date then. They are saying around 37 weeks now as they don't want to risk me going into active labour because the notes they got from my section with Emily say my uterus lining is very thin and has 'windows' where its thin so there is the risk of rupture with strong contractions.
Feeling fine for now though and am 33+3 today so getting there slowly!

I saw on 3rd tri thread that Lexi has been admitted to hospital with high blood pressure, protein and is contracting. Hope she is ok.
Thinking of you Lexi!!:hugs:

How are you Tracy? When is your next scan? My 32 week scan said baby is around 4lb! Hard to believe bubs is so big in there already!!

Sweet, hope all is going well with little Zac. :hugs:

JayDee i'm sorry gor your loss, what was your little girls name? It's been a bit quiet lately but this is a very supportive thread!!

How is everyone else? Spring & Amjon how are you getting on?


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## dextersmum

Hi Nicola sorry to hear you we're in hospital but glad things have calmed down again now. I swear these things happen when you are already nervous due to a milestone from your previous loses. What weight was Edward when he was born?
My next scan is 25th April and I am interested to see what baby's est weight is. I feel like she has grown and I have got a proper pregnancy bump now that I love stroking lol
Have you decided on a name yet?

Sorry to hear about lexi hope she is ok

Spring only 3 sleeps left until your planned section. I will be stalking for an update or if you want to text me with your news to share with the other ladies just let me know

Sweet how are you and Zachary?


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## nicola ttc

Oohhh Spring, 3 sleeps!! How exciting. :happydance:

Tracy i do wonder if worrying/stress has something to dowith the tightenings as they do seem to coincide with milestones...:shrug:
April 30th is Emilys birthdate and the 2nd May is when we lost her so hoping we get through those dates with no more hospital stays!
Edward was 4lb when he was born. 
Having a big bumpy bump is lovely isn't it? I'm much bigger than i have been in my last pregnancies and really trying to enjoy it all as it will be the last time for me. Although i can't wait for baby to be here, i don't want to wish away these last few weeks of pregnancy.
How are you feeling lately? I have bursts of energy but mostly feel exhausted!


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## sweetbuthyper

Me and zac are good :) hes feeding well and they have reduced his high flow down, also his humidity thats now at 65% :), we have time at the breast today as hes started wanting to suck, hes so tiny tho he can't really latch but managed to suck a little and as they say practice makes perfect. 

hope you are all well and still cooking those babies :)


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## Springflower

Goodness ive missed so much!

Welcome Jaydee! As the others have said its a supportive little gang we have here.

Sweet - your lo is gorgeous! Hes so lovely. You must be a proud mama. Your little boy isdoing so well!

Nicola - so sorry to hear ylu've been back in hospital. Very 

scary! Got everything crossed your little lady stays put a while longer.

Lexi - hope everything is ok.

Tracy - yes I'll text you when our little lady arr


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## Springflower

Stupid phone! 

Yes please share my news!

Im ok. Roll on wens, jyst want her out. Am really struggling with anxiety and just want her here. 

Nicola how did you find recovery with kids? Im getting worried as indy is 23lbs and not crawling yet!


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## nicola ttc

Actually Spring, i have never found the recovery too bad, even with little ones. Alex was 22 months when Edward was born and Elliot was 20 months when Alex was born. I found getting up and moving asap is the key to quick recovery! Thats all the advice i have really. :shrug:

Glad to hear things are going well Sweet. :hugs:


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## Springflower

That has just made me feel a lot better!!!! Thank you!


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## amjon

nicola ttc said:


> Hi Tracy :wave:
> I'm ok thanks. Was back in hospital last week for a few days but all fine again now. Contractions and slight bleed again but not dilating. I was admitted at 32+2 which is the gestation Edward was born at so was especially difficult and scary. Thankfully all is calm again now though. I have consultant next Thursday and think i'll be getting my section date then. They are saying around 37 weeks now as they don't want to risk me going into active labour because the notes they got from my section with Emily say my uterus lining is very thin and has 'windows' where its thin so there is the risk of rupture with strong contractions.
> Feeling fine for now though and am 33+3 today so getting there slowly!
> 
> I saw on 3rd tri thread that Lexi has been admitted to hospital with hb, protein and is contracting. Hope she is ok.
> Thinking of you Lexi!!:hugs:
> 
> How are you Tracy? When is your next scan? My 32 week scan said baby is around 4lb! Hard to believe bubs is so big in there already!!
> 
> Sweet, hope all is going well with little Zac. :hugs:
> 
> JayDee i'm sorry gor your loss, what was your little girls name? It's been a bit quiet lately but this is a very supportive thread!!
> 
> How is everyone else? Spring & Amjon how are you getting on?

Glad you're doing good. We are still doing good. The MFM is please with the boys progress. They both gained 5oz in 6 days. They're moving like crazy and she told me to start looking for 10 movements from each baby a day. They usually do way more than that. :)


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## _Lexi_

Hey everyone. Been a stressful few days but back home now. All last week I had reduced movement, and woke up Friday and my bump had got smaller, do rung l&d who wanted me in. My blood pressure was sky high, protein in my urine and they weren't happy with the ctg. this led to being admitted, 4 hourly ctgs and blood pressure checks. I'm contracting regularly, but they didn't want to do an internal to check if I was dilating. I'm worried with my bump getting smaller that the fluid might be going down like it did with Joshua. From Friday to Saturday I went from 31cm to 29cm. By yesterday afternoon movements had picked up, but her heart rate keeps dropping to 105 :( I've got a midwife appointment Tuesday anyway, where she'll check the protein levels again as they're worried about pre e, especially when my mum had it with all 3 of us. They didn't do a scan as I've got my consultant appointment on Thursday for our routine growth scan, so they'll check fluid levels there. Still getting regular contractions, but haven't got any worse in intensity. Been told to take it easy over the next few days and rest up. Just hard when there's so much to do round the house!! Hoping little miss stays put a bit longer and all the appointments this week go well. x


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## Krippy

Take care of yourself Ladies! You are all getting so close so I know how anxious you must be feeling! Sending you lots of love and serenity these last few weeks. I do check up on you when I can and think about all of you often.

Things are going well here...My rainbow has started sleeping better, thank goodness. The last 4.5 months have been hard with sleep deprivation but I just love my little boy! Starting to work on some babywearing and getting out of the house now that the weather is getting nice here. Here are some recent pics of Raif:
 



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## nicola ttc

Wow Raif is getting big! Thanks for sharing your pictures with us Kristen, it is so lovely to see such a beautiful rainbow! :hugs:
All you ladies who have your babies here are my inspiration that we can all get there!

How is everyone else today? Hope you are all enjoying the sunshine!

I've been shopping for last bits and pieces today, crib bedding, changing mat and a couple of other bits. Are any of you using crib/cot bumpers? What bedding are you using? I know Edwards bedding had nothing to do with losing him but i am so terrified this time of anything that might pose a risk that i'm driving myself mad. I'm thinking of getting a breathable bumper but can't find any in shops and wanted to look first. 
I'm loving the sunshine but am struggling with finding cool clothes that fit! I don't really want to buy anything this close to the end.

Tracy in answer to your question from a while back lol, no we still have not decided on a name yet! We quite like Evie (and alex is still insisting on sally :rofl:) but not sure.


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## amjon

nicola ttc said:


> Wow Raif is getting big! Thanks for sharing your pictures with us Kristen, it is so lovely to see such a beautiful rainbow! :hugs:
> All you ladies who have your babies here are my inspiration that we can all get there!
> 
> How is everyone else today? Hope you are all enjoying the sunshine!
> 
> I've been shopping for last bits and pieces today, crib bedding, changing mat and a couple of other bits. Are any of you using crib/cot bumpers? What bedding are you using? I know Edwards bedding had nothing to do with losing him but i am so terrified this time of anything that might pose a risk that i'm driving myself mad. I'm thinking of getting a breathable bumper but can't find any in shops and wanted to look first.
> I'm loving the sunshine but am struggling with finding cool clothes that fit! I don't really want to buy anything this close to the end.
> 
> Tracy in answer to your question from a while back lol, no we still have not decided on a name yet! We quite like Evie (and alex is still insisting on sally :rofl:) but not sure.

They have them in Target here and I'm sure I've seen them in some of the baby stores (Babies R Us, Buy Buy Baby possibly). If you can't find one I could pick one up in the US and send it to you. Not sure what shipping to the UK could be, but I know last time I sent pictures to DH's parents in India it was around $10 or so.


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## nicola ttc

Ah thanks Amjon, thats so kind of you! I can't find any in uk babies r us but have found a few uk online sites now so will probably just order one but thanks. :thumbup:
How are you? I bet your twin bump is getting really big now! Time for a bump pic update soon?!


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## amjon

nicola ttc said:


> Ah thanks Amjon, thats so kind of you! I can't find any in uk babies r us but have found a few uk online sites now so will probably just order one but thanks. :thumbup:
> How are you? I bet your twin bump is getting really big now! Time for a bump pic update soon?!

I really haven't gotten that large in the past few weeks. It seems like I'll get a huge jump every once in awhile and then I kind of stay there. I was tiny with Taylor, so don't really show all that much. I probably look about average for 29 weeks. I need to get DH to take a belly shot, but he's been so busy with a work project it's hard to get him to do anything, even for just a few minutes. We need to do another maternity shoot soon too.


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## dextersmum

Hi ladies good to read so many updates. Krippy raif is truly gorgeous he is coming on a treat.

Lexi hope things settle down for you I can't believe how much we are all having to go through during this latest pregnancy. As if it isn't hard enough being pregnant after what we already been through but I am confident we will all have a positive outcome. 

Have felt movements today but she has not been doing her usual aerobics so trying not to read too much into it as I was up earlier than usual and have been busy working all day and been up and down like a yoyo with the dog since I got home and hubby is out watching the football.

Spring can't wait to share your news with the rest of the group when dotty arrives and to finally find our her real name lol

Nicola I am feeling ok not too tired considering I am working quite a lot and I have definitely lost the ability for long sleeps but maybe that is helping me to get in some practice for when baby is here.

I am still looking for a changing bag anybody seen any nice reasonably priced ones anywhere?


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## amjon

Here is a study they are doing on stillbirth (via surveys of stillbirth and live birth moms). Thought some of you may be interested in helping out. They say 28 weeks+ but she told me if you were close to just put 28 weeks as things can be a bit off with weeks anyway. https://www.starlegacyfoundation.org/stars1


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## MissyMo120

Hello ladies!
I am due Dec 25th with our rainbow. I lost my full term daughter in Jan at 38w2d. I have 50 kids already, I swear that it feels like that anyways lol. 5 are with my ex (18,16,15,13,11) and my DD that I lost was mine and my new DH's 1st baby together, his 1st daughter. I had an early loss with my 16 yo, I lost his twin very early. And had a loss/cp? 7 months before I got pg with our daughter. Now here I am today, about 5 weeks and it's finally starting to sink in, We ARE having another baby!! And fear is kicking in. I keep telling myself that AF is right around the corner, my bbs are so sore, I have so much moodiness, even I realize it! I'm off work at 2 and trying to be in bed by 5, just have that fear of starting to bleed. My OB asked me if I was cramping or spotting, like I did with my DD and nothing, knock on wood!! Then I got on another support group and ppl were on me for getting pg so soon after my loss and c/s. I know it was fast, even we weren't expecting it! Hoping, yes, but it took so long to get pg last time we weren't expecting it this soon! Any +vibes you all have will be great! Now I just will need to read back, unless you wanna update me :) Thanks ladies!


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## dextersmum

Hi Miss mo sorry for your losses welcome to our friendly group where you will find there is no judgement here because we all know what it is like to lose babies and then get pregnant (in what ever timescale your body decides) and then be a nervous wreck about being pregnant probably for the whole 9 months lol. But we are all here to support each other and offer a listening ear or advice or just to give a virtual hug when needed.

my story is that last january I had to have an emergency section to bring our gorgeous baby boy Dexter into the world. He was 28 wks 1 day but the placenta had stopped feeding him so he need to be born. He weighed 1lb 10oz, we knew he had down syndrome and a hole in his heart. He did really well for the first 4 weeks of his life and the doctors were really impressed with him. But then he got NEC which is a serious bowel condition that premature babies are at risk of and this is what we lost him too over 3 weeks later after he had to have an operation to remove part of his bowel. He fought so hard in his 54 days of life but couldn't stay with us. 
I had 2 m/c's before Dexter and then had another one last July before falling pregnant this time at beginning of Oct and I am now 32 wks 1 day pregnant and due to have a planned c-section on the 3rd June so 5 weeks 6 days to wait :happydance: not that I am counting lol


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## MissyMo120

I am so sorry for your loss, but am now going to be excited for you, knowing you are so close!!! 
It's hard to find a good group that actually help you through something rather than posting so much about all the negatives, as I am well aware of what CAN happen! I just love to hear the good stories ya know, something to keep positive about. 
I called my OB today, since I've been having cramps, not like period, but it's just along my c/s scar. And she said well ya thats cause you got pg so fast haha. So now I get to wear a belt the next 8 months! Anything to help would be great! I told her I prob will drive her nuts this time and she was awesome and said that's what I'm here for! 
I hate that we are all here due to a loss of a baby, but it's easier to talk to someone who KNOWS what you're going thru, not just trying to understand. It's almost like a new family :)


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## dextersmum

Ladies I am pleased to announce that spring gave birth to sadie at 12.20 today and she weighs a healthy 6lb 12


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## nicola ttc

Eeek fantastic news!! Congratulations Spring. :happydance:
Love the name, so cute!


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## Krippy

Can't wait to see pics of little Sadie! A huge congrats to Spring! Sending you lots of love! So happy for you!


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## amjon

Welcome Sadie! Can't wait to see pictures. Not much longer for a few of us now. :)


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## dextersmum

hi ladies how is everybody doing?

I went for our 32 week scan today. It seemed to take an age to do all the measurements and for the sonographer to actually turn the screen for me to see the baby and once the guy had done our report with measurements he asked me to go back into the scan room which of course made me a little panicky. He said that Lexi was measuring smaller on the est weight scale although all other measurements were as they should be. She is back on the 10th percentile line. He said it happens a lot where the fundal measurements are on track and weight is lower. I spoke to a dr who I haven't seen before and I don't think she even works with my consultant and she didn't know my history and kept asking me questions she should have know the answers to. She said another consultant had seen the information and they are not concerned as Lexi has show a steady growth even if she is on the 10th percentile. I feel ok about it because I know Lexi has grown and I checked that her stomach has grown as my midwife told me that this is the measurement that would decrease or not grow as well if there was something wrong.

So I go back in 4 weeks for my last Lexi scan before I then go and have the section at 38 weeks. The time seems to be passing quickly now which is good, considering about 8 weeks ago when I had the first bleed I didn't think we would get this far


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## dextersmum

ladies have any of you got a gift (or gave a gift when you had the baby) for your husband as a way of thanking him for the baby?? My hubby got me a lovely card and photo frame when we had our little boy and I have been trying to find a card to give to him but can't find out has anybody seen them where it says to my husband on the birth of our child or something similar?


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## nicola ttc

Thats how i feel Tracy, i thought i'd never get to this point and now i am time is flying along! 
I'm glad all seems well with Lexi - sounds like she is just going to be a petite little girl, my consultant said its always abdo circ that would show signs of iugr or other problems rather than overall size as i've measured on the small side a couple of times but then she's caught up.
I had a consultant appt today with one of the team who hadn't seen me before so also had to go through everything with her. She then hadn'tread in my notes that baby has been breach since 28 weeks and couldnt find a hb on the doppler so took me in for a scan. Luckily i could feel her moving about but was still very scary til she showed me on the screen! Baby is lying sort of sideways bum down so would likely be a c-section even if i didn't have to anyway! Section will be booked next thursday for between 37-38 weeks so will finally get a date to aim for then! Can't wait. :happydance: Am also terrified though!
Baby still has no name or even a shortlist of names..:dohh:
How is everyone? Spring i hope you are enjoying your first day with baby Sadie. :cloud9:


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## _Lexi_

Congratulations spring!! Can't wait to see photos of Sadie!!

I also had my 32 week scan today. Baby is growing well, dropped from 78th percentile to 50th, but they're not concerned, estimated weight at the moment is 4lb 3oz, estimated weight at birth is just over 8lb! I'm still hoping for a vbac and all is looking well for that. She's been head down for weeks now and doesn't show any signs of moving which is good. I'm really starting to feel the effects of pregnancy now. Walking is getting slow and tough, heartburn is a nightmare, so tired all the time! I never experienced any of this last time. Met my new midwife on Tuesday, she's reSlly nice, much nicer than my old one!! Just don't get why they don't ever read your notes :( so hard explaining about Joshua all the time. Missing him lots at the moment. Had my whooping cough jab yesterday, didn't hurt, but my arm aches a bit today which is annoying. Actually starting to believe that this little one might make it home. 

Here's a bump photo from Monday:
https://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/ducksdontquack/C8C056AE-8F58-4D75-9A15-D5B79C97E244-4911-000004827BC9AA80.jpg

Hope everyone else is doing well xx


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## dextersmum

Hi ladies just had a Facebook message from Nicola and she has asked me to let you all know that her baby girl was born today weighing 4lb 8 still to be named. Nicola had a uterus rupture and lost a lot of blood which starved baby of oxygen. Both mother and baby are stable and I will keep you posted when I hear more


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## _Lexi_

Thanks for the update. Really hope mum and baby are doing ok xx


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## Krippy

Wow! Thinking of you and baby girl Nicola!


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## nicola ttc

Hi ladies, thanks for updating Tracy.
Primrose Eve was born yesterday lunchtime after the most excruciating pain ever of a placental abruption. I lost my body volume of blood (4 litres) and 3 of those were in the abdomen so was not in a good way, the dr has said she did not expect me to make it out of theatre. There was a 4cm hole in the top of my classical section scar and the vertical scar was also rupturing. Babys hb had dropped to 74 and was not getting better by the time we arrived at hospital. I was at home with my daughters and niece when it started so they were terrified and had to call for help etc poor things. Primrose has been moved to a hospitalwith high level nicu for more tests tosee how it all affected her and i am moving there tomorrowif i am stable. There are still issues with my recovery and may need another op its going tobe a long recovery process either way but just feel thankful we are both alive - anything else, we can deal with!


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## sweetbuthyper

hope you have a speedy recovery nicola and get to be with your little girl asap x


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## dextersmum

Sweet how are you and Zachary?

Spring when are we going to see a photo of beautiful sadie?

Nicola I hope you have been well enough to get to the same hospital as primrose. Please keep us posted on how you are both doing when you can x

Lexi that is a great bump photo you look very neat and pregnant lol. 

Amjon how are things with you?

Miss mo are you ok?

I ended up at the hospital on Saturday morning being monitored as I get a bit freaked out with reduced movements. Midwife said everything looked fine on the graphs and there had been plenty of movement from lexi even though I didn't feel them all. So that freaked me out some more, that even with an estimated weight of 4lb 2oz I am still not able to feel her every time she moves?? So the doctor on the weekend shift gave me a new plan which was to go today for another ECG monitoring, go Thursday for a Doppler scan to make sure placenta is fully working and then have a further growth scan in 2 weeks instead of waiting 4 weeks. So I feel much more reassured and the midwife today gave me the direct number for the antenatal day unit to contact them if I want more monitoring so at least I have more support if needed which is great. I just have 5 more weeks to get through before my planned section and then I might be able to stop panicking over the slightest thing?!


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> Sweet how are you and Zachary?
> 
> Spring when are we going to see a photo of beautiful sadie?
> 
> Nicola I hope you have been well enough to get to the same hospital as primrose. Please keep us posted on how you are both doing when you can x
> 
> Lexi that is a great bump photo you look very neat and pregnant lol.
> 
> Amjon how are things with you?
> 
> Miss mo are you ok?
> 
> I ended up at the hospital on Saturday morning being monitored as I get a bit freaked out with reduced movements. Midwife said everything looked fine on the graphs and there had been plenty of movement from lexi even though I didn't feel them all. So that freaked me out some more, that even with an estimated weight of 4lb 2oz I am still not able to feel her every time she moves?? So the doctor on the weekend shift gave me a new plan which was to go today for another ECG monitoring, go Thursday for a Doppler scan to make sure placenta is fully working and then have a further growth scan in 2 weeks instead of waiting 4 weeks. So I feel much more reassured and the midwife today gave me the direct number for the antenatal day unit to contact them if I want more monitoring so at least I have more support if needed which is great. I just have 5 more weeks to get through before my planned section and then I might be able to stop panicking over the slightest thing?!

Nicola, hope you and baby are doing well. 

I'm doing good. Feeling pretty good most of the time, just get a bit tired with odd aches and pains. I told the MFM that every week was better knowing the boys are getting more and more ready to join us. She said she doesn't have many twin moms say that. At 32 weeks I'll be starting twice a week monitoring with one NST and one BPP (one at the MFM and one at the regular OB). She did say the boys were starting to show some subtle signs of the GD affecting them as there was a bit of calcification of the placenta and both of their fluid levels doubled or nearly doubled. She wants me to start doing before and after meal levels and adjusting insulin based on the befores, but the endo told me he doesn't have any appointments until June! It's good they are going to give you more monitoring. I feel lucky to live here where I can get weekly growth and fluid checks. I think it's crazy that they think once a month is enough for those of you in the UK that have already been through the heartache of losing a child.
 



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## sweetbuthyper

Dextersmum we are doing ok, zach is back on high flow at 4litres today they pushed him to quick and so we had to go back a few steps, he had a blood transfusion last week and scans show he has a small brain bleed but nothing too concerning, just a case of waiting for him to grow and get stronger now and hopefully no more steps back on the breathing front. He's 2lb 12oz now and gaining well, and tolerating his food well. heres a pic from 2 days ago
 



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## dextersmum

Amjon I love your bump photos and the monkey suits are adorable.

Sweet Zach is really coming on. It was the same experience for us with the breathing and he will get there in his own time. Are you able to stay at the hospital with him or are you travelling in every day?

Lexi was quiet again at bedtime and this morning so I was a little freaked out but she started moving just after 8 so I didn't rush to the hospital to be monitored I just observed movements during the day and I had a midwife apt planned at 3pm so at a good chat with her and shed a few tears. I just think I am feeling overwhelmed with everything hoping that the next 5 weeks pass by smoothly but then thinking about how it is going to be when lexi is here and I can't control either of these things which makes me a little more stressed. But I now have a planned Doppler scan on Thursday and a growth scan on the 9th and 23rd


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## nicola ttc

Morning ladies.
I have joined Primrose at the nicu, i am still in high dependancy on the labour ward but doing much better. Seem to be healing better now but still feeling sore and weak!
Primrose is doing well, she is on cpap but has short times with it off and having 5 ml feeds through ng tube 3 hourly. Her brain scans were yesterday and will be discussed in todays ward rounds at half 9 but i'm hopeful that anything really significant would have been told to me straight away.
Will update with a pic soon. :hugs:


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## dextersmum

Nicola so glad you have made it to the same hospital as Primrose that must give you a better peace of mind knowing you are both in the same place. Sounds like she is doing well and I hope the brain scans are all as they Primrose? Have your other children been able to meet their sister yet?

My little miss is still causing me mischief as she is not keeping to the same movement pattern every day like she was before so there are days when I feel great and feel loads and there are others (like today) where she doesn't do her movements at the same time or to the same strength and then I get a little anxious and paranoid.
Was at the hospital having a doppler flow scan today and everything was as it should be sonographer told me Lexi was moving the cord with her hand lol but I couldn't feel that movement??

I am feeling a lot of her bottom pushing my stomach out like now but when I asked the doctor if she would class this as a movement she said not really as she would count kicks, punches or big body movements so I need her to do a lot more of these this afternoon and evening so I can feel a bit more relaxed.
I went out to a couple of shops today and really felt pregnant. My bump went solid and tight when I was walking and it made it a bit difficult to walk has anybody else had this experience?
I was a bit freaked out this morning as I put in a pessary last night as still contiuously suffering from thrush I thought long and hard about doing it as last time I did was when I had my first bleed. Any way I had a bit of mucus discharge with red/pink in it. I actually took my tissue to triage when I went in for my scan and showed the lady there but she said it will just have been a bit of blood from my cervix where the pessary may have scratched it.
So I am having a great day today as you can tell lol


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## nicola ttc

Hi ladies
We are doing well
https://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u620/nicolabird/20130501_132311_zpsf353b1b6.jpg
Primrose is on and off of cpap but allowed out for cuddles. She tried a breastfeed yesterday and today and was sucking really well. Only for a few minutes and then was tired out but still good.
Today it is 1 year since we lost Emily. Has been a difficult day but i know Emily and Edward are watching over their little sister helping her stay strong. 
Sweet how is Zac getting on?
Tracy i'm sorry Lexi is being a little monkey but glad you're getting extra scans to help you relax.
How is everyone else?


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## sweetbuthyper

hey all, 

Zach is doing good, on high flow but now on 2 hourly feeds of 17ml, had a rough few days not because of him but the stupid ward, its been really busy and i have some understanding and patience for that but getting in out for cuddles has been a nightmare and has had me in tears. that and we are in the worst place in the room next to the computer and hes really wanting to suck on breast and for the last 2 days i've not been able to let him or had to unlatch him for him to go back because i can't get a screen round me coz they need the computer or the phone thinking of just doing it tomorrow and screw the stupid screen if they don't wanna see if they can go find me one. Most of the staff are great but the one we had today is rubbish i asked twice to have him out 3 hours later still didn't have him and ended up in tears other half managed to get her to get him out and she said she didn't know i wanted him out, well of cause i do why the hell would i not want cuddles stupid women. anyways hoping the ward calms down before i freak at them. Zach is fine tho and oblivious to it all other than getting ratty that he can't have boob. I have also noticed they are quick to up his oxygen when he destats rather than check his head position or that his prongs are even in his nose the last to days which is a bit annoying coz they they get annoyed his pinging high when he moves his head, but oh well we will get there and hopefully he can get off the high flow soon and it won't be an issue anymore. 

sorry that turned into a mini rant, in short we are all good growing well :)


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## Krippy

Wow ladies! Zachary and Primrose are just beautiful! What little troopers they are! I am constantly thinking of you both and your immense strength!


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## nicola ttc

Tracy, i just saw on fb that you have had Lexi!
Congratulations! That was a suprise. I hope you are both doing well. Thinking of you. :hugs:


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## Krippy

OMG Tracy! Can't wait to see pics of Lexi and hear your birth story!


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## dextersmum

Hi ladies been a bit AWOL recently due to going into early labour on Friday they think due to an infection and had an emergency section as my waters broke and they didn't want the infection to be passed on to Lexi. So she was born at 8.01pm weighing 4lb 5oz and being feisty and crying to let us all know she had arrived. She was on Cpap until noon the next day and is now breathing by herself. I am having a few issues with my temperature shooting up and me being either cold or sweating and they are still trying to find out what infection I have as blood cultures are negative. So they are trying different antibiotics so I will be in hospital for a few more days so will update when I can


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## Krippy

Thanks for the update Tracy! Glad to hear Lexi is doing well! Hope you feel better soon and they figure out what is going on with you! Huge congrats on a healthy baby girl!


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## amjon

It seems like everyone is going early around here lately. Glad moms and babies are doing well. I thought I was going to join the early band yesterday as it felt like something was in the birth canal and when I checked it felt like a sack to me. I made DH rush me to the hospital with the Level III NICU (about an hour) and turns out all was fine. They checked my cervix 3 times while I was there and said it was closed each time. They also did the swab to check for leaking fluid and cultures and was negative for fluid (they did find some bacteria, but told me to follow up with my OB tomorrow as it wasn't a huge concern). They also hooked me up, so we had a NST while we were there. It's funny because seeing their heartrates together they pretty much stayed very close and if one went up, so did the other. We were released about 1:30 last night, so didn't get into until late. 
This morning I went to my Endo and was put on continuous blood sugar monitoring. I now don't have to stick myself as much (just before meals now to determine how much insulin I need to take). It takes readings every 5 minutes and records them. I just need to enter my finger prick numbers to calibrate it each day.


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## sweetbuthyper

update from us is Zach is doing fine, altho very stressed today coz they messed with him doing tests.

Hes on 3litre high flow (possibly still 4 after they made his oxygen drop today but it should be 3), 20ml breast milk 2 hourly, brain scans show small bleed but its not gotten bigger so thats good, ROP tests ( are evil and made him destat today, not looking forward to the next one in 2 weeks) came back all clear, hes started trying to suck a breast and will latch so so far all good.


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## _Lexi_

Tracy, congratulations on the birth of Lexi!! I hope you're both doing well. 
Amjon, glad everything was ok at the hospital. 
Sweet, so glad Zachary is doing well
xx


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## dextersmum

Hi ladies does anybody know how I upload a photo from my phone?

Update from me- can't believe it has been a week since I started with contractions and then lexi was born. She is doing really well she has now gone on full feeds of 12mls per hour so isn't needing the glucose supplement which means she is now cannula free and only has the spo2 monitor on. She has started to regulate her own temperature so they are going to move her into a heated cot instead of an incubator which means we can dress her and be able to pick her up for cuddles.
I was discharged from hospital last night after a weeping breakdown as I am still to have the iv medication once a day for a further 6 days and I really didn't want to stay in hospital any longer so I am to come in every morning to put the drug through a cannula. I just have to hope that a cannula lasts a couple of days at a time otherwise they might make me come back into hospital


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## _Lexi_

Are you on an iPhone? I downloaded the photobucket app. You can then upload a photo into that, then press the 'i' button, and copy and paste the bottom code into the text box on here. Bit long winded, but it works!! 

So pleased to hear Lexi is doing well and you're going to be able to have cuddles! Good news that you've been discharged too, I don't blame you for not wanting to be there any longer. I was in four days with Joshua and that was more than enough. Looking forward to a photo!! xx


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## _Lexi_

Very quiet over here... Is everyone ok?? x


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## _Lexi_

Any updates?? x


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## dextersmum

Hi Ladies

sorry I havent been on for a while it has been hectic with going back and too to the hospital but I am please to say that Lexi is doing really well and she came home on friday. She was weighed today and is now 5lb 1/2oz and has fully established her feeds. she seems to go between 3-4 hours between feeds during the day but then 2-3 hours at night lol

i am doing ok now loving learning how to be a mummy to a baby that has come home with us. the infection i had cleared up after 10 days of iv antibiotics which is god because they kept saying it could be serious.

so how is everybody else doing?


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## JayDee

Sorry, I said hello then disappeared.
Someone asked my daughter's name: Zoe.
Congrats to those who have had their babies, hope you are all doing well. Nicola, Zoe was oxygen starved, fatally so it turns out, sounds like Primrose is doing well to me xx


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## sweetbuthyper

Well we are still in neonatal hes now 4lb 5, and is doing well established feeds minus a blip on thursday, just having an on going battle with the staff re getting him off his monitor no one wants to make the jump and we have been told he can come off it tomorrow for since wednesday and is still on it as whenever they change staff the plan changes again its frustrating. he has another eye test tomorrow and we are hoping we can get out of there this week.


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## milliegrace41

nicola ttc said:


> Hi ladies
> We are doing well
> https://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u620/nicolabird/20130501_132311_zpsf353b1b6.jpg
> Primrose is on and off of cpap but allowed out for cuddles. She tried a breastfeed yesterday and today and was sucking really well. Only for a few minutes and then was tired out but still good.
> Today it is 1 year since we lost Emily. Has been a difficult day but i know Emily and Edward are watching over their little sister helping her stay strong.
> Sweet how is Zac getting on?
> Tracy i'm sorry Lexi is being a little monkey but glad you're getting extra scans to help you relax.
> How is everyone else?


I just want to say your daughter is absolutely beautiful ahe has bought a tear to my eye I know I'm not pregnant but love to read all your rainbow stories and journeys hoping that will 1 day me to, senting ao much love to all you and your babies xxx


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## dextersmum

sweet I am glad that Zac is doing well. He is now the same weight that Lexi was when she was born. She is 5lb 11oz now so is becoming a right fatty lol. It is frustrating in NICU when things don't happen because of staff changes. Do you go when it is the consultants round? I always made sure I was there for that then I knew what was being discussed and agreed and would also state what I wanted that way for example if they agree that baby should come off the monitors it would be written in the notes and you could tell the nurse. It might be worth you asking to see the DR/consultant to discuss it with them anyway so that you have some authority behind you. Sounds like he will be home in no time. What gestation is Zac now and how many weeks old is he?

Will you get to room in with Zac in the hospital before you bring him home? I did this for 1 night as they had parent rooms in Bolton hospital where you could spend the night with the baby by yourself but you could call a nurse if you were worried about anything and they would come to your room. It was lovely to do as you knew that baby would soon be home with you.

I can't believe that monday this week was the actually date that I was to have the planned section to bring Lexi into the world but instead we were celebrating her being 1 month old.

I am really enjoying being a mummy and having Lexi home. I am just trying to get used to having to think about things to do before I can leave the house and what I need to take for her if away from home. This is a bit harder to think about with now bottle feeding as if I was breast feeding I wouldn't need to think about how many bottles I needed to take but never mind I am sure I will get used to it soon.

I do find myself having moments of sadness or guilt because I am so happy about Lexi being here but then miss Dexter or feel sad that I am not doing the same things with him or even feel guilty for enjoying having Lexi here. Not sure if that makes sense to anybody else??

Well I am off to sterilise more bottles and prepare the next feed before Lexi wakes up and needs her nappy changed lol


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## _Lexi_

Jessica Lily arrived after a very quick and dramatic vbac induction Sunday night/Monday morning due to pre eclampsia. Waters being broken to her arrival was under 2hours!! Full birth story is in my journal. We're still in hospital. I've been severely anaemic, and now Jessica has jaundice and is being kept under phototherapy lights. Instead of having us over on nicu they've brought the lights to us instead. She's responding we'll already and hoping to be home tomorrow night. She was 6lb 2.5oz at delivery and is absolutely gorgeous. 

https://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/ducksdontquack/A338144F-3C72-4DD7-AA8F-603A2B3FAF50-3962-000003702B59E02C.jpg
https://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/ducksdontquack/2ACBFA55-0D4E-43E2-ACA4-D9DE33A89C0F-5186-0000047CB927BA86.jpg
https://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/ducksdontquack/6B89F164-F6C0-4975-99F0-F6F8275EFD3B-5186-0000047CAE08E919.jpg

Xxx


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## Krippy

Lexi...she is beautiful! Congratulations! I am off to read your birth story right now! :)


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## Baby Bell

Oh my gosh Lexi what a beautiful little lady! :kiss:congratulations 

Congratulations to all the beautiful babies that have been born.......sorry il read through the thread when Lewis having his nap! 

Tracy huge congratulations on the arrival of Lexi, I'm glad she's doing well, gaining great weight. :thumbup: I know exactly what you mean about feeling guilty. This is something I struggle with, having Lewis here enjoying all his ups and downs milestones, then I realise that I missed it all with Eoin, that I should have a a toddler now, should have experiences all these milestones before, that Lewis is missing out on a big brother. I'm back getting counsilling again, iv been struggling a bit. Sorry iv been awol, will you have me back? Iv been trying to balance my feelings between Lewis and Eoin. 

Congratulations to all the babies and to all the angels for becoming big brothers/ sister/ guardian angels in the sky :hugs:


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## nicola ttc

Course we'll have you back :haha: lovely to see you in here. How is Lewis getting on? 
Lexi, i saw your thread announcing Jessicas arrival and was so happy to see she had arrived safe and well! She is beautiful. I hope you are both well enough to go home soon. 
I can't remember when i last updated on here. :dohh:
Primrose has been home 3 weeks now after 15 days in nicu. I was allowed home after 9 days and both doing fine.
Primrose now weighs 6lb 4oz. :laugh2:
I'll update with pics when i'm on the laptop and update front page.
Hope everyone else is well. :hugs:


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## sweetbuthyper

We are home! we got let out yesterday, hes now 4lb 7oz, doing really well, on formula. hes now 8 weeks old 36+4 corrected :) 

this mornings pic. congrats to Lexi on teh arrival of jessica and hope everyone else is doing well.
 



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## Serenyx

Congratulations to all you lovely ladies on the arrival of your rainbows - they are all beautiful :flower:



nicola ttc said:


> Primrose has been home 3 weeks now after 15 days in nicu. I was allowed home after 9 days and both doing fine.
> Primrose now weighs 6lb 4oz. :laugh2:

Nicola - I am SO glad to read this. I came across your journal earlier and was reading it with my heart in my mouth :( I saw you hadn't posted an update since mid-May and was rather worried. Glad to hear that both you and Primrose are doing well :hugs:


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## dextersmum

lexi congratulations jessica is gorgeous and a good weight too hope you are both home soon.

sweet so glad to hear you are now both home. i bet Zac feels really big too you now but everybody else will think he is still really small because that is my experience. he looks so cute and i love his outfit.

Aileen of course we will have you back. sorry to hear you are struggling but hope the counselling helps.

as for us Lexi is doing well she will hopefully be over 6lb when weighed tomorrow. i think she now has a touch of colic which i hate because i cant help her when she is struggling. she is also constipated today and I feel so sorry for her. I have been massaging her stomach trying to help. oh yes she also has a snotty nose so i am having to help her with nasal drops. but apart from all of this she is great and becoming more alert every day.

i have added some photos

any body know when it is ok to take them swimming? i have been given different advise from people. but i need to find a small swimming costume anyway lol do they have to have swimming nappies on too??
 



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## morganwhite7

And DEXTERSMUM- 
I have been a Red Cross certified swim instructor for 3 years and have taught babies of ALL ages!! It is best to wait until at least 6 mos to take a baby "swimming". You can obviously take them into water with you before that (with approved sunblock, too!), as long as they don't get water in their mouth! But at 6 months we dunk the children to see how they react. Most babies are able to breathe fine afterwards, some cough a little. For those who cough, wait until 9 mos and try again! Oh and also, when submerging, only do it for a BRIEF SECOND! Just enough to cover the head w/ water and back up again! So, YES it is okay at 6 mos! Haha once we have our child, I'll be practicing this frequently, great way to develop an awesome lil swimmer! :)


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## Baby Bell

Jaxon is beautiful! I'm so sorry for your loss :hugs:


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## RTMum84

Hi, 

Not sure if this is where I should be so apologies if not!

I'm currently 14+5 with my 3rd pregnancy. I lost my son Reece in 2005 just after he was born at 39 weeks. He had Primary Pulmonary Hypoplasia which basically means his lungs never developed

I gave birth to a healthy baby girl 2 years after and while I feel I was terrified during her pregnancy, it's nothing compared to how I'm feeling now. 

Maybe because it's been such a long time between pregnancies. I'm under a consultant and am getting my scans at KCL but it's still such a terrifying time.


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## JayDee

I think you can take babies swimming whenever you like. Our local council website advises that you wait until they have had their first injections so they have a bit of immunity to bugs which probably prosper in the warm, wet environment of a public swimming pool. I was always paranoid about mine getting cold when he was little, but you can get some really cute all in one uv swim suits in the shops atm.


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## amjon

I haven't been on here in ages! Our boys are scheduled to be delivered by C-section Wednesday morning (unless by some miracle Baby A's bottom becomes unglued from my cervix and he flips). I've been in and out of the hospital, but always cleared and sent home. They diagnosed mild pre-e, but then the next one they did with me admitted to the hospital came back lower (though they don't take of the dx once they make it). My BP at home this week was really high, so we went in Friday night and was sent home later that night only to have the same again, so was kept overnight Saturday and sent home with BP meds. They've had massive issues taking blood and trying to put in an IV and have blown out veins all over my arms/ hands, so I'm praying they can find one on Wednesday to use. We did my last dose of Lovenox this morning and will start up again once the boys are here. We can't wait to meet them, but I'm not looking forward to the C-section.


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## dextersmum

amjon good luck for wednesday. I had a c-section and didn't find it that bad although the recover this time around was a little slower so make sure you look after yourself and take it easy and just have positive thoughts on wednesday morning and know it is just the boys coming out of the sun roof rather than the tunnel lol

RT welcome to the thread. How are you feeling this time around?

Well I think I have turned into a paranoid mummy instead of the paranoid pregnant lady that I was lol. Had Lexi to the doctors twice already. Although once was when the neonatal nurse told me I had to go there and then the doctor told me he wouldn't reat her because she was premature and I should go back to neonatal consultant?? it looks like lexi has a fungal infection on her nails so now have grean to put on twice a day. I had her at the doctors today because over the last week her bowel movements have changed from being several times a day to now stuggling and straining and not being able to go from anywhere between 12-36 hours and being uncomfortable and upset the longer it goes on. The nurse practitioner checked her out and said she was ok and just to continue to give her water when struggling and massage her stomach


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## JayDee

I had an emergency section to deliver the baby I ultimately lost. They put me to sleep to do it so I can't tell you what the actual operation was like and, I wont lie, it wasn't comfortable afterwards but I was stupid I kept saying I didn't want any pain killers. Actually, once I gave in and accepted some it wasn't too bad - you hear stories of people being laid up for weeks - I was walking about the next day and actually went out of the hospital after a couple of days. I felt ready to drive again after 2 weeks but my gp said I had to wait 3.
I'm also guessing that a planned section will be easier too, just focus on the fact that you get your babies into the world safe and well. At the minute I think I'm going to have a planned section this time, just to make sure. It would never be my choice normally but if it's that or risk my baby, I know which one I'll choose every time....
Hope it all goes ok and you are home with your babies really soon xx


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## JayDee

dextersmummy - I think they should keep doctor appointments aside just for "paranoid" mums, I think most people take their baby at least twice before they there for the first injections!
Hope Lexi gets better soon - my little boy had colic when he was tiny and it was horrible seeing him suffer and not really being able to help (tried every trick in the book).


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## amjon

Ashton and Austin arrived by plan C-section at 9:10 and 9:11 this morning. They both had 9/9 apgars and the OB said they were the healthiest twins she has delivered. They've been working on feeding and the lactation consultant came in a few times to help out. I was very nervous about the spinal, but ended up doing fine.
 



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## sweetbuthyper

amjon there geougous congrats hun :)


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## dextersmum

congratulations Amjon the boys are gorgeous what weight were they?


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> congratulations Amjon the boys are gorgeous what weight were they?

5lb 15oz and 6lb 7 oz


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## dextersmum

They are a really good weight am job. How are you? Are you out of hospital yet?


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## amjon

dextersmum said:


> They are a really good weight am job. How are you? Are you out of hospital yet?

We went home yesterday. I'm good as long as I take my pain meds on schedule. DH is still yelling at me for doing too much. ;) He's been very good about helping with the boys but is a bit overprotective. He keeps yelling at me to support their heads, keep them out of the sun, etc.


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## JayDee

Congratulations they are gorgeous :)
Enjoy your boys xx


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## Emskins

Hi ladies,

I have been lurking in here a while and now I feel ready to share with you all that I am pregnant with my rainbow after my sweet Cordelia. It is still early days as I am only 9 weeks along.

A big congrats to all of you ladies who have recently had your beautiful raindows, I am so happy for you all and it gives me hope that I too can welcome this baby into the world healthily too.

Wishing you all happy days ahead with your little ones.

E
x


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## Springflower

Emskins that's lovely news! So very happy for you. 

Lovely to read all the news of our new bubbas. 

We are all good here. Its crazy busy but lovely. Sadie is a real mamas girl and loves being held all the time. Indy is fascinated by her and not jealous (I think she is too young)

Lots of love to all.

xxx


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## Krippy

Congrats Em! What a joy! Just remember to think positive and enjoy it as much as you can! 

Glad Sadie is doing well Spring and that your LOs get along! They are all such a special gift!


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## Cheska

I'd have been stalking longer if I knew you were all in here. Congrats to all the babes already born and lots of luck to those still to arrive! Brill news em hope you enjoy as much as poss x


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## Krippy

Hi Cheska! How is your LO doing? Pics?


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## Cheska

He is doing great. Thanks for asking. Love him to bits! How's Raif. 

Just read back and looks like most the rainbows are here. Beautiful babies and some gorgeous names. It's made me smile. Hope your all doing fab! Feel broody again!!

Trying to work out how to get a pic on&#8230;&#8230;


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## Cheska

No idea. I'm so rubbish. Got photo bucket app have got pics on to there anyone help from this point ?


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## _Lexi_

In the photo bucket app, open the photo, press the 'i' button, then copy the IMG code. Paste into here :) 
Jessica is now a month old and doing great. 
https://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/ducksdontquack/BBFD31BC-4D6A-4D05-8063-65DE78471C17-263-0000001D3097960A.jpg
xx


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## Baby Bell

Omg Jessica is beautiful, she looks so like your avatar photo of Joshua!


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## dextersmum

Hi ladies sorry I have not been on for a while Lexi has taken over my life and all my spare time lol but I am loving being a mummy goodness knows how I will fit in working when I have to go back??

Emskin I am so pleased to hear that you are pregnant good luck with everything and keep us posted

lexi jessica is beautiful and i thought she had a look of her big brother Joshua when I saw the photo.

Lexi is 2 months old today and I can't believe where the last 2 months have gone


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## sharan

Hi ladies,

I've just found out my pregnant again. I think I'm only 3+4 weeks or around that. But I am absolutely bricking myself.

I lost ds2 last year July when I was 22 weeks gone. So for that reason I don't think I will be able to relax at all during this one. 

I haven't even told my DH about this one yet as I'm scared it will all go wrong. It hit him really hard last year with the loss and since then things haven't been brilliant between us. On more than one occasion he has said to me he doesn't want anymore children because he can't go through it all again! We had stopped actively trying in May and rarely DTD since then. 

I don't know what to do!


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## dextersmum

hi sharan welcome to the group. sorry it has taken a couple of days for you to get a reply but i dont get much time to come online now with the baby every time i try she wakes up lol

have you told your oh yet?

how are you doing?

I hope that this is your rainbow and that everything goes smoothly in the pregnancy and you get to hold your baby in about 8 months time.

You will no doubt be nervous during the pregnancy but that is very normal after what you have been through


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## JayDee

Hi Sharan
We lost dd last year after a traumatic birth and dh initially said he didn't want to try again but after a couple of months later he changed his mind and I'm now 18 weeks with our rainbow.
I can't say I'm excited, we are both really nervous but trying to stay positive. Hope your dh is happy with the news xx


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## Cheska

Thanks lexi. Jessica is cute as a button. 

Here goes.... https://i1160.photobucket.com/albums/q482/cheskachoochoo/12B8F736-FBD6-4D13-BE31-DF48220E2C9D-9381-00000659EFC18AFD.jpg

Hewwo everyone


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## Cheska

Yay it worked. 

Sharan - I remember you from when you lost your lo. Congratulations on your bfp. Hope your doing ok. If you weren't actively trying I think your rainbow was determined to happen  xx


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## Krippy

Cheska, what a sweetie you have there! Thank you for posting! 
Welcome to our new ladies! Happy to see you here! The only advice that helped me through my rainbow pregnancy was to take each milestone at a time no matter how small and of course take the time to breathe! Thinking of you all!


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## Springflower

Oh cheska, he's lovely! 

Welcome to all the new ladies! Agree with krippy, take every day as a day you get one step closer. I found pregnancy very stressful but it's definitely worth it! 

X


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## Cheska

Thank you. I think so too but I am rather bias :haha:


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## Emskins

Sharan, have you told your husband yet? I hope everything is OK for you. 

Jaydee-congrats to you...19 weeks!

Cheska-what a cutie pie!

Becuase of Cordelia's health problems we are having our 12 week scan with a specialist, she also did our scans with Cordelia too once we found she had the intestinal blockage and eye problems. The scan is Wed morning and I am really scared. I am just hoping that things look good for this baby and that he\she is healthy.

I am scared too that they are going to push for an amnio again and I really don't want to have one again but part of me wants to know that this baby is 100% healthy so I can rest easy a little bit although the threat of another placental abruptions looms ever close to me.


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## mrssunshine78

Hi girls, congrats to all the new mummies and mummies to be. 

We've just found out that I'm pregnant after losing our little boy just over a year ago, I had twins and lost Joshua, we knew we were likely to lose him after our 20 week scan, but nothing could have prepared us for the heartbreak that followed :cry: Our little girl Jasmine has really helped us through this last year and we are eternally grateful for her. Anyway now I'm pregnant again, I'm terrified, very scared of MC (I had one of those after our first ivf cycle), then if we get past the 12 weeks, I know I'm just going to be so frightened of it all going wrong again at 20 weeks. 

Anyway it's lovely that so many of you have your rainbow babies and it gives me hope. 

Xxx


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## JayDee

mrssunshine - welcome along, wishing you a happy and healthy, and as stress free as possible pregnancy.

Emskins - hope all goes well at your scan. I can't imagine how difficult it is to decide whether to have an amnio or not given the risk involved, hope it doesn't come to that for you anyway.

My 20 week scan this week - excited and scared at the same time. I'm feeling movements but not regularly, when I don't feel it for a while I worry something is wrong... I know it's a bit early to feel regular movements but that doesn't always help.


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## Cheska

Hope everything goes as well as can be tomorrow Ems. No decision is the right or wrong just follow your heart. Will be thinking of you let us know how you get on x

Congratulations mrs sunshine.


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## Emskins

thanks for your support ladies.

yesterday went as well as we could have hoped. So far everything looks good. the nuchal translucency was well in the normal range and nasal bone was present. All the organs look good right now too but they did at this point in my pregnancy with Cordelia too so we cant rest yet. we are just waiting for the blood work to come back with my risk assessment, this was our first indication that something was wrong with Cordelia so i am really nervous about these results, they should be in next week.

this pregnancy wont be easy but it is off to a really good start, fingers crossed it is good news for then next 6 months with a healthy baby for us to take home at the end.

Jay dee- good luck with your scan this week. are you going to find out if you are having a girl or boy?

hope you are all well

E


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## Cheska

Thanks for your update Ems. Fingers crossed everything comes back well with your blood test. 

I look back now and feel like I missed out on pregnancy because I was so nervous. I look at bumps with envy! 

Off swimming today with my little water babe x


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## JayDee

Thanks Emskins.

Everything was as it should be at the scan. Baby was not shy at all in letting us know we are team blue again as I suspected.
The only issue was that my placenta is anterior and couldn't see whether it was blocking the cervix or not so will need another scan later on. I couldn't help but google and am now a little worried that it might be more dangerous to have a c-section with low anterior placenta. I was undecided as to whether an elective section was the best idea to get baby here safe given Zoe was fine until labour started but this has confused me even more - argh! Hoping it will all work out ok in the end, it's just ages till the next scan to see (no appointment yet but probably not till 32 weeks to give it chance to move)....


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## Krippy

Congrats on the great scan Emskins...Just one step closer to meeting your rainbow! I am glad things are looking good for you and your LO!

JayDee...I would take it as it comes. With my rainbow I had a c-section booked from the very beginning, decided not to use it and have an induction, and then decided to have a c-section when 1 day of induction wasn't progressing. Things can change so fast...don't get too hung up on the details! :) Also placenta can move around a lot by the end of pregnancy! 

Cheska...My rainbow is a little water babe too! Here is a pic of him and his first spaghetti meal!
 



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## Cheska

Aw krippy he's gorg!!! Love the mess haha looks like your outdoors though - sensible ! :)


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## dextersmum

hello ladies how is everybody doing?

sorry I haven't been on for a while but looking after my daughter has become my full time job and playing on the pc is now a distant memory lol

Lexi is growing up fast she is now over 3 months old and is about 10lb time is just flying by and I have to keep looking back at photos to remember what she was like when first born

I hope your pregnancies are going well and you are getting through them in one piece


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