# Mummies of autism - did you notice any signs when they were babies?



## bump#1

I'm sorry if this thread comes across as ignorant or insensitive - it is not my intention.

My biggest fear with my son is autism, even when I was pregnant I feared it. He is 7.5mths old and I just cannot shake this feeling that there is something wrong - it's making me so anxious & paranoid.

He is a very smiley happy baby,and makes eye contact but he hates other children, especially when they make a loud noise. It startles him and he cries alot. He doesn't babble yet. We get ooo's & ash's - he sounds like a monkey at times :) but no baba's or mama's etc.

My support worker seems to think my anxiety is linked to my PND & lack of confidence, but I'm just so worried.

Did any of you mummies pick up on any signs when they were babies? I know nothing is ever diagnosed until late.


----------



## sun

My son hasn't been diagnosed with autism but IMO I think you are asking alot of your 7.5month old. They don't "play" with other babies at this age and though some will be babbling with consonants, hardly any will be actually speaking. My son has gross developmental delay and speech delay, and our dev.ped. looks for good babbling by 1 year old. Some 1-year olds will be saying a few words, but many won't - and often boys start speaking later than girls. I know several mums who did have an idea that their children had problems at under a year, and for all of them is was a lack of social communication - no smiles, no eye contact, no following faces, etc. It sounds like your son is doing all of that.

You say you have been terrified of autism since you were pregnant? Do you know why this is? I was very afraid of my son being diagnosed when he was a year. He could not do much physically (rolling, crawling etc) and did not babble at all or respond much to his name. In the past year he has been doing so well and when I look back I hate that I spent so much time worrying and not enough enjoying him. My son does have some difficulties, but he is beautiful and a complete joy to me every day. Also since that time, I have begun volunteering at our treatment centre with children who have autism and PDD-NOS and have found that they are amazing kids. Autism isn't the end of everything. But there is so much misinformation and fear surrounding it that many people are afraid and worry constantly about their kids. I know there is a chance that my son will eventually be diagnosed with it - there's always a chance. But I also know that it would be a part of who he is and I would learn how to be the parent he needs - just as I am learning now.


----------



## bump#1

sun said:


> My son hasn't been diagnosed with autism but IMO I think you are asking alot of your 7.5month old. They don't "play" with other babies at this age and though some will be babbling with consonants, hardly any will be actually speaking. My son has gross developmental delay and speech delay, and our dev.ped. looks for good babbling by 1 year old. Some 1-year olds will be saying a few words, but many won't - and often boys start speaking later than girls. I know several mums who did have an idea that their children had problems at under a year, and for all of them is was a lack of social communication - no smiles, no eye contact, no following faces, etc. It sounds like your son is doing all of that.
> 
> *You say you have been terrified of autism since you were pregnant?* Do you know why this is? I was very afraid of my son being diagnosed when he was a year. He could not do much physically (rolling, crawling etc) and did not babble at all or respond much to his name. In the past year he has been doing so well and when I look back I hate that I spent so much time worrying and not enough enjoying him. My son does have some difficulties, but he is beautiful and a complete joy to me every day. Also since that time, I have begun volunteering at our treatment centre with children who have autism and PDD-NOS and have found that they are amazing kids. Autism isn't the end of everything. But there is so much misinformation and fear surrounding it that many people are afraid and worry constantly about their kids. I know there is a chance that my son will eventually be diagnosed with it - there's always a chance. But I also know that it would be a part of who he is and I would learn how to be the parent he needs - just as I am learning now.


When I was in university I worked with autistic adults as a part of a placement, and I just didn't like it. It wasn't that I dislike the people - obviously I did like them - but I just felt like I couldn't help them. I've always thought it takes a special and amazing person to care for someone with Autism and during this placement I felt I lacked those skills. This has now rubbed off on me and i'm terrified that if anything is wrong I won't be able to care for him. 

I appreciate it all sounds a bit daft and silly, I just needed bait of advice and maybe some reassurance. I'd hoped this would be this best place for it. 

I think its fantastic you are doing some volunteering and I wish you well. Thank you for your advice - maybe I am too hard on myself and my son. Guess I'll keep working with my family support worker to iron out some more issues.

Thanks again :flower:


----------



## LoveleeB

This is a great milestones checklist by Dr. Greenspan

At 4 Months:

Follow and react to bright colors, movement, and objects?
Turn toward sounds?
Show interest in watching peoples faces?
Smile back when you smile?

At 6 Months:

Relate to you with real joy?
Smile often while playing with you?
Coo or babble when happy?
Cry when unhappy?

At 9 Months:

Smile and laugh while looking at you?
Exchange back-and-forth smiles, loving faces, and other expressions with you?
Exchange back-and-forth sounds with you?
Exchange back-and-forth gestures with you, such as giving, taking, and reaching?

At 12 Months:

Use a few gestures, one after another, to get needs met, like giving, showing, reaching, waving, and pointing?
Play peek-a-boo, patty cake, or other social games?
Make sounds, like ma, ba, na, da, and ga?
Turn to the person speaking when his/her name is called?

At 15 Months:

Exchange with you many back-and-forth smiles, sounds, and gestures in a row?
Use pointing or other showing gestures to draw attention to something of interest?
Use different sounds to get needs met and draw attention to something of interest?
Use and understand at least three words, such as mama, dada, bottle, or bye-bye?

At 18 Months:

Use lots of gestures with words to get needs met, like pointing or taking you by the hand and saying, want juice?
Use at least four different consonants in babbling or words, such as m, n, p, b, t, and d?
Use and understand at least 10 words?
Show that he or she knows the names of familiar people or body parts by pointing to or looking at them when they are named?
Do simple pretend play, like feeding a doll or stuffed animal, and attracting your attention by looking up at you?

At 24 Months:

Do pretend play with you with more than one action, like feeding the doll and then putting the doll to sleep?
Use and understand at least 50 words?
Use at least two words together (without imitating or repeating) and in a way that makes sense, like want juice?
Enjoy being next to children of the same age and show interest in playing with them, perhaps giving a toy to another child?
Look for familiar objects out of sight when asked?

At 36 Months:

Enjoy pretending to play different characters with you or talking for dolls or action figures?
Enjoy playing with children of the same age, perhaps showing and telling another child about a favorite toy?
Use thoughts and actions together in speech and in play in a way that makes sense, like sleepy, go take nap and baby hungry, feed bottle?
Answer what, where, and who questions easily?
Talk about interests and feelings about the past and the future?


----------



## TaylorsMummyx

When mt ds was born upto a yeat n half he rolled hands/feet all the time! Like a twitch kind of thing, and hs was late sitting ect


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

Please dont fear autism :)


----------



## MilosMommy7

my son is 27 months with a "severe" speech delay (0 words, but this past 2 weeks hve tried to make sounds that sound like a word, if that makes sense). but at 7 months he said mama and dada. so i wouldn't think too much of the lack of babble right now. my DS seemed "normal" for the most part as an infant. minus a few things like constant crabiness, persistent sleep problems, loss of babbles at 11 months... just to name a few.

but i will say this, when i ws pregnant with him. i had a feeling he was going to have autism (or some sort of related disorder). and here we are, with a dx at the moment of PDD-NOS and SPD. :shrug:


----------



## JASMAK

I knew at 12mths for sure there was 'something'. I didn't know the word autism. At 18mths she was seen by a speech path who said that she would be delayed because she had severe anemia and would need to 'catch up'. Then she was referred again just before 2 years old. She was assessed at the level of a 9mth old baby. She had no speech. She did look at me and hubby, but no one else. She did not point. She did not play with ANY toys, ever. She would hold one small toy in her hand (the same hand and finger position always)..and never let it go. She would eat holding it, bathe, sleep etc. That was her one and only toy. She had severe sleep and eating issues. She rarely smiled. We would have to do back flips to make her smile, it seemed. She was in her own little world, and I think a great way to describe my relationship with her, was I felt there was a wall between us...I couldn't tell how she was feeling, what she liked, didn't like, what she wanted, what she needed, if she was happy, sad, angry. I couldn't tell. If there was something 'wrong' she would screach, but not at me...just screach. It was AWFUL!!! Looking back, I can't believe I was in such denial about it, but I suppose it was my way of coping. I could only believe so much at once. There is alot of online autism screening quizzes you can do...that should give you some idea. :hugs:


----------



## bump#1

Midnight_Fairy said:


> Please dont fear autism :)

I know, i'm sorry if i'm upsetting those who are living through it. I do think it stems my working with adults and my inability to display the level of skill required. I just worry that if it happened I wouldn't be able to give him the best care/support that he would deserve.

Thankyou for all your comments ladies. I'm going to speak to my support worker again and see if there is anything I can do to boost my confidence as a parent.


----------



## MilosMommy7

bump#1 said:


> Midnight_Fairy said:
> 
> 
> Please dont fear autism :)
> 
> I know, i'm sorry if i'm upsetting those who are living through it. I do think it stems my working with adults and my inability to display the level of skill required. I just worry that if it happened I wouldn't be able to give him the best care/support that he would deserve.
> 
> Thankyou for all your comments ladies. I'm going to speak to my support worker again and see if there is anything I can do to boost my confidence as a parent.Click to expand...

i'm always scared that i wont be able to be the best i can be for him. and at times find myself blaming myself for his disorders. sometimes, to be the best mom you can be, is to just be there for the child and to NOT be scared of whats to come (or what they have). but of course, its always easier to say than do sometimes :hugs:


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

The way I see it is they either have it or they dont. Looking for traits wont change the child they will grow into. xx


----------



## Tommee

Midnight_Fairy said:


> The way I see it is they either have it or they dont. Looking for traits wont change the child they will grow into. xx


This is so true, I've spent the best part of 7 months scanning my DD for traits, then watching old footage of DS is she doing as he was? Why isn't she saying Mama yet? The list goes on, what I should be doing is watching my DD grow into who she is, it's hard I can't lie it's still daily in my mind but she will be who she is & always my beautiful DD whatever.

Xx


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

I am starting to wonder with my 6 yr old. Noticed nothing until now and every now and then I wonder but I cant let it take over my life xx


----------



## Karlie06

My son has autism and he never made eye contact until he was 4 1/2 years old. Also, there were many many signs when he was a baby xx


----------



## bump#1

Karlie06 said:


> My son has autism and he never made eye contact until he was 4 1/2 years old. Also, there were many many signs when he was a baby xx

What did you notice when he was a baby hun?


----------



## lisa35

I noticed when Finlay was 18 mths that something wasn't right but dint know for the life of me know what it was. It wasn't until my DD social worker mentioned the word autism to me that I started thinking about it. 

Finlay could say all his colours at the age of 8 mths, he could count to 5 and say alsorts of words, then it all just stopped. The only words he still says is Dada and daddy. His eye contact was much worse then completely stopped by 18 mths and from then on he started flapping, spinning, stimming, ignoring us, not playing with toys, toe walking, etc, etc.

I eccept him for who is, he's gorgeous, he's bright, he's funny and cuddly when he wants to be, but overall I think it's heartbreaking to watch my Lo do the things he does and wonder why he does it? What goes on his brain, what would he be like now if he was normal. I,m sorry if that offends anyone but I'm finding it really hard to come to terms with :cry:


----------



## EllaAndLyla

I need a little advise please. 

I am not checking for signs but we have recently discovered that DD's half sister (same dad) has autism, she is 3 years old. There are also a few other children in my OH's family that have autism as well. I've read that it can be genetic, and I'm not particularly worried but just wanted to know how likely it would be that DD would have autism? 

I'm just being a tad pre-cautious I suppose.


----------



## JASMAK

lisa35 said:


> I noticed when Finlay was 18 mths that something wasn't right but dint know for the life of me know what it was. It wasn't until my DD social worker mentioned the word autism to me that I started thinking about it.
> 
> Finlay could say all his colours at the age of 8 mths, he could count to 5 and say alsorts of words, then it all just stopped. The only words he still says is Dada and daddy. His eye contact was much worse then completely stopped by 18 mths and from then on he started flapping, spinning, stimming, ignoring us, not playing with toys, toe walking, etc, etc.
> 
> I eccept him for who is, he's gorgeous, he's bright, he's funny and cuddly when he wants to be, but overall I think it's heartbreaking to watch my Lo do the things he does and wonder why he does it? What goes on his brain, what would he be like now if he was normal. I,m sorry if that offends anyone but I'm finding it really hard to come to terms with :cry:

:hugs: :hugs: Not offensive..I have a hard time too. It's gotten easier, with time, but I still struggle at times too. :hugs:


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

JASMAK said:


> lisa35 said:
> 
> 
> I noticed when Finlay was 18 mths that something wasn't right but dint know for the life of me know what it was. It wasn't until my DD social worker mentioned the word autism to me that I started thinking about it.
> 
> Finlay could say all his colours at the age of 8 mths, he could count to 5 and say alsorts of words, then it all just stopped. The only words he still says is Dada and daddy. His eye contact was much worse then completely stopped by 18 mths and from then on he started flapping, spinning, stimming, ignoring us, not playing with toys, toe walking, etc, etc.
> 
> I eccept him for who is, he's gorgeous, he's bright, he's funny and cuddly when he wants to be, but overall I think it's heartbreaking to watch my Lo do the things he does and wonder why he does it? What goes on his brain, what would he be like now if he was normal. I,m sorry if that offends anyone but I'm finding it really hard to come to terms with :cry:
> 
> :hugs: :hugs: Not offensive..I have a hard time too. It's gotten easier, with time, but I still struggle at times too. :hugs:Click to expand...

It really is a mystery isnt it. I found support groups helped me. Do you have any?

When we read back over notes they start with normal term delivery, no pain relief, baby good weight. Placid baby- NEVER cried ever!! He just used to shake his head about but that was the only thing they noted untill he started to talk x


----------



## lisa35

Thanks for the :hugs: 

We are getting lots of help for him, I am going to attend a support group which will give me a chance to meet other parents & children with autism. I can't wait to start attending :)

I am also getting help with portage group their going to come to my home one day a week for an hour to help me engage with him.

He goes to special needs nursery one day a week at the moment & I am going to get another day funded so he can go two days a week. I am also awaiting a phone call from a lady who is going to help me fill forms in etc. Thier is plenty of help/support which I am really greatful for but it still doesn't give me answers as to why he has this condition, I'm sure it does get easier over time but it still upsets me :cry:


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

I think you will find things get a lil easier as he gets a bit older. My son is 7 now and able to communicate with my much better. Meltdowns are less often (still bad but less often). Things have slipped into place a bit more xx

I dont know why my son has autism but I believe I was blessed with him for a reason (and I am not a religious person!) I believe what he lacks in communication he makes up for else where. He has recently started having french/spanish tutoring. Now I struggled to learn one language but he is praticly pretty fluent in french already and now learning spanish. It baffles me!


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

P.S I never thought my son would be potty trained or talk! It just happened!


----------



## lisa35

Thanks, I think it's because he is so young that I can't seem to get my head around it. I'm sure once he starts getting older and doing more I will get used to the idea. I was wondering about potty training, I haven't even bought him a potty yet as given half the chance he will pee on the floor so I know he's not ready just yet. Like you say they are very intelligent kids and will shine in some things more that others. It's funny you should say you were blessed, my OH keeps telling me Finlay was gift from above xx

I know I can only just talk a few words in foreign, he is a very clever boy :thumbup::flower:


----------



## mummy3

My son was diagnosed autistic at barely 3, and we were told to get him assesed before this so he had alot of signs early on. He is a wonderful wonderful little boy of 4 now and doing so well so try not to fear autism hun:hugs:

Back to the question, yes there were a fair few signs, he is rigid in routine, he gets obsessed randomly and has done from a very young age. I remember him going through a stage at around 19m of just saying "light" over and over again whenever he saw one. His speech is brilliant but monotoned and he takes absolutely everything literally. He wont give much eye contact and never has, he runs with a flap, he was also a late walker and has a few other delays (he has a dx of global developmental delay also). He has to smell everything:dohh: Also he has obsessive tendancies over cleanliness, has to wash his hands and shower at remote signs of being dirty, this got to the point where he would scream to shower several times in a meal! He has been going to a special ed preschool run by the school district for over 6 months now and he's come on so so much, he can cope with some messy play now and can walk to his bus without smelling every single flower on the way, although he still likes to smell the road! 

A few pluses, he was completely potty trained by 2 due to his fascination with the toilet:thumbup: He is learning to read and doing really well! With his routine, he goes to bed and is sleeping at 7pm come what may. I get lots and lots of hugs! 

Down side, he's currently running around in a circle shouting "smell my butt":dohh: :rofl: I wouldn't change my boy for the world, yes doctors and therapists appointments can be draining and time consuming and yes autism can be a very daunting prospect but your child is still your child and no label will change that:hugs:

Midnight fairy:hugs:


----------



## MilosMommy7

mummy- :hugs:


----------



## Maze

Hi ladies,

I am a mother of a 6 year old with autism, he was diagnosed when he was 2. It was a regression with him as it often is with many children on the spectrum, he met all his milestones and then one day (around 18 months)... poof, it was like he disappeared and was replaced with a completely different child. He didn't try to talk, he wouldn't make eye contact...only grunted. They told me I had to prepare myself for the chance he would never speak. 

This is a video he made for Autism Awareness month when he was 4.

It might make those of you with kids on the spectrum or suspect they might be... a bit better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91iWd1JeNyw&list=UUpRSx70iwpC4PbHagSdTP-Q&index=3&feature=plcp


Today he goes to kindergarten, has a best friend at school, gets invited to birthday parties...and talks up a storm! Not to mention he is reading at a level well above where he should be and is a whiz with the computer. Early intervention is key.


----------



## lisa35

Thanks for sharing your video what an amazing beautiful boy you have :flower: You have made me feel so much better. My boy only grunts so theirs time yet to progress xx


----------



## Hellylou

Hi - just wanted to share my little boy with you.

He's 10, nearly 11, and he was officially diagnosed autistic at about 3, maybe just turned 4, but the signs were there from a very early age. He didn't talk at all until he was 4 or 5, and then it was just a few words here and there. Often the ones he was using would disappear when he learned a new word, so he never had much language until later. 

He was late in his milestones - sitting, crawling, walking, and gross/fine motor skills have always been poor. He still can't do up buttons, or dress himself. He can't ride a bike.

As a baby he was very passive - rarely cried and slept a lot. I thought at the time it was a blessing, as his older sister had been so very demanding and wakeful. But then the problems became apparent. He was very clingy to me - wouldn't let me out of his sight and got hysterical when he couldn't see me. This continued for many years, and it is still difficult to leave him with anyone other than a chosen few. He had terrible tantrums with his lack of communication - he would hit his head on any hard surface causing bruising, hit, kick, scream, throw himself on the floor. He would put his hands over his ears and flap his hands. To communicate he would take me by the hand and lead me to what he wanted me to do. He did potty train early though, which was great until we realised the obsession with toilets had begun. That one remains to this day. :dohh:

Over the years the behaviours have changed - one set will be replaced by another. Now he is obsessed with elevators, buses and trains. As his language has developed, he exhibits more of the classic autistic traits in the things he says - parroting, repetition, phrases copied from tv, etc. He needs routine, he needs a plan, he needs a lot of patience. There is so much I could add - the stories and anecdotes are endless. He has learning difficulties also, so academically he struggles, and he has attended special school all his life.

But he has been the most wonderful gift in our lives. He is affectionate, funny, loveable and kind. He has enhanced our lives in ways we never thought possible. We have embraced every part of how he is, and his funny ways just become part of our daily routine. Like others have said - never fear autism.


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

I love hearing all these stories and how different our children are yet wonderful all the same x


----------

