# Fear of infertility...anyone else?!



## Msocwife

I really have no idea why, but I seem to be starting to get a growing fear that we won't be able to get pregnant right away or that it's going to take us a long time! I dont have any reason to believe that, we havent' yet started trying, but I still am really afraid that when we do start it won't happen when we want it to! Maybe because I'm on this board or seem to always hear people talking about how long it took them? I'm 28 and for the reasons i talked about in my other posts we're waiting a bit longer, but there's this voice inside me that is like "you should try now! you never know how long it might take!" Perhaps this is the "ticking clock" everyone jokes about?? Anyone else have this??:dohh:


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## Broody85

Yep I'm the same and so is my OH.'he has it in his head that he is infertile bcs we have never had an "accident"':wacko: I have always worried but last year I was diagnosed with endometriosis which can effect fertility. It really does worry me but at the same time I believe in fate and deep down I think it will happen one day for me. It just might not be the way I thought. Also the fact that my 3 best friends fell pregnant within 1-2 cycles makes me somehow a bit more confident about it all x


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## dontworry

It's one of my biggest fears. :( I don't have any reason to think I might have issues but for some reason, it's what I worry about the most!


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## Jess137

I'm getting very scared about that too. I know in my head that I'm probably fine, but there's always the little voice in the back of my head, iykwim? I stopped my BCP's in February since we are TTC in June, and I don't think I've ovulated yet. I have had one AF, and I'm waiting on the next. I'm getting worried even though I shouldn't be. From what I've read, some women don't ovulate for a while after stopping BCP. We'll see...


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## Squarepants

this is something that really scares me, i have been diagnosed with PCOS and i had my AF 3 times last year and i have realyl started freaking out. truthfully i never wanted to have children until i met my partner. I now cannot wait to start a family and it scares the hell out of me that im not going to be able to have children. :( we have never had an accident either and we never use protection. my partner also works away and does two weeks away and one week at home so this will make it harder again.... 

i am completely with you but i wish everyone the best of luck and sooper dooper quick BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Nanner

I thought I was the only one! I don't know why I would think this, but I have a deep fear of not being able to conceive. I've always had VERY regular periods, which I hear is a good indication of fertility. My husband and I are very healthy and active, which I guess is also a good sign. Nonetheless, I've been concerned enough that I've even researched adoption options. Hopefully I'm just being paranoid! I hope everyone else here is too!


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## MrsGruffalo

I worry sometimes, but I know I'm quite lucky in that my cycle is very regular, and I've never used any sort of BC that involves hormones (I heard a talk when I was about 16 how much they mess up a woman's body, and have since flat out refused anything that involves hormones!)

But you never know how it will turn out when you start to try, and as a Catholic, if we have problems, there aren't many alternatives. IVF is a big no-no, so we could be childless if either of us is infertile.


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## Mrs Eleflump

I worry about this too...there's nothing to suggest that either of us will have a problem, but there's nothing concrete to suggest that it'll be easy for us either. My cycles are always regular, and I've ovulated twice since I came off the pill in February (if I'm interpreting my CM properly anyway, I'm not temping or OPK-ing or anything), and me and hubby are both generally healthy. Some members of my family have had fertility problems and problems carrying babies, and I suppose that makes me wonder if I could have problems too. Plus me and hubby will be at least 32 when we start trying, and I keep imagining my poor little eggs decreasing in number every month...

Fingers crossed for quick BFPs for us all when we start! :D


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## TwilightAgain

You're not alone. I think for women who are particularly maternal who long for their own child, its natural to have fears that there will be barriers preventing us from getting what we want but most of the time if we have nothing to go by (nothing of concern) we worry about nothing :hugs:


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## everdreaming

I'm pure blind petrified of infertility. My OH doesn't seem to understand that with his low sperm count and since he had a varicose vein in one testicle as well as his age (33 now, possibly 35-36 before we TTC) that's going to really affect how long it's going to take to conceive. Add to that my dodgy cycles and very unknown status, I doubt we'll get pregnant quickly.
His Dr told him years ago that he might not even be able to have kids! 

So you're far from alone, I think even with no problems at all we can all fear it. I have a massive ticking biological clock, and I'm 20!

x


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## snowflakes120

Yup, it's def in the back of my mind. Although, I think we will be ok. I have been having pretty regular cycles and OV since stopping the BCP in January. I worry that my stress and age (31) will affect me more though. All my family members have gotten preggers within 3 months so as long as hubby is ok, I think we will be fine. But it still worries me alot.


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## toffee87

This is my biggest worry, my periods are irregular and I dont always ovulate. Also my temps don't rise much after ovulation, so I worry about progesterone being low, which could cause a miscarriage.


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## Msocwife

great so i'm not the only one! Glad to know i'm not loopy! I don't really have any major problems in my family and the women on my dad's side are pretty darn fertile, but DH has been a cyclist since he was like 12 y/o and has done VERY long distances and triathalons and stuff, and i'm worried that all that smashing of his berries down there might have had an effect on his sperm! He thinks its silly and gets kind of defensive when i bring it up, but its a worry!


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## lemna

I'm pretty scared of it. I'm 33, and I keep doing the math in my mind, like, if it takes us 1 year to get pregnant, then 10 mos pregnant, then another year before we try again, I'll be 36 before we start on #2 (assuming we want #2). I feel like I'm running out of time!

And just a year ago I wasn't even sure if I wanted kids! Oh how things change.


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## stellababy

first of all, good luck ladies! i am sure it will be ok, you will all get your BFPs with time. 

i always assumed i would be pregnant the second we stoped using protection. however, it took me 9 months to get pregnant, only to miscarry. 

they discovered that i have a heart shaped uterus, which makes it that much harder to get pregnant. i wish i had known this, as I was WTT for almost a year before trying. however, the next month after the MC, i got pregnant with Evelyn, which is a miracle.

so you never know how long it will take, could be a long time or short. I just turned 29, and will try again as soon as can for #2 - whenever AF comes back. i really want to have my second baby by 30 years old, but knowing my medical history i am not sure how long it will take. but i will be trying! :)


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## PCOSMomToTwo

Hi girls! Just wanted to stop by and say if you are worried about fertility issues there are simple blood tests out there that can test for that.

You can make an appt with your OBGYN and tell them you are planning on trying to conceive soon and want all your hormones tested. They normally want to run your bloods anyways if they know you want to TTC soon. It will help diagnose any issues up front or rule out issues as well. 

Your spouse can also have a SA done as well. Although, some guys aren't too keen on the idea.

Hope you all get prego asap when you enter that journey :)


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## MrsGruffalo

This might be a stupid question but what is an OBGYN? Are they another kind of nurse? Do all practices have one?


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## MrsRH

MrsGruffalo said:


> This might be a stupid question but what is an OBGYN? Are they another kind of nurse? Do all practices have one?

in the US women tend to have their own 'OBGYN' which is the equivalent of a gynaecology specialist in the UK. 

We only have our GPs! 

In the UK, GPs will only tend to do tests after 12 months of trying. You could have a pre conception appointment with your GP to go over your health and how best to increase chances of conceiving but on the whole, from my experience of working in the NHS, GPs won't do specialist fertility tests before actually trying.

Private tests could be done but may be expensive

hth
xxx


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## Nanner

PCOSMomToOne said:


> Hi girls! Just wanted to stop by and say if you are worried about fertility issues there are simple blood tests out there that can test for that.
> 
> You can make an appt with your OBGYN and tell them you are planning on trying to conceive soon and want all your hormones tested. They normally want to run your bloods anyways if they know you want to TTC soon. It will help diagnose any issues up front or rule out issues as well.
> 
> Your spouse can also have a SA done as well. Although, some guys aren't too keen on the idea.
> 
> Hope you all get prego asap when you enter that journey :)


I think I will do this! It will put my mind at ease.


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## PCOSMomToTwo

MrsRH said:


> MrsGruffalo said:
> 
> 
> This might be a stupid question but what is an OBGYN? Are they another kind of nurse? Do all practices have one?
> 
> in the US women tend to have their own 'OBGYN' which is the equivalent of a gynaecology specialist in the UK.
> 
> We only have our GPs!
> 
> In the UK, GPs will only tend to do tests after 12 months of trying. You could have a pre conception appointment with your GP to go over your health and how best to increase chances of conceiving but on the whole, from my experience of working in the NHS, GPs won't do specialist fertility tests before actually trying.
> 
> Private tests could be done but may be expensive
> 
> hth
> xxxClick to expand...

Wow, really? They wont just run a normal hormone level test? It's no different then checking your cholesterol or vitamin levels. It's not really a "fertility test", it's just to check your thyroid, FSH, LH, Prolactin, Estradiol and Insulin. Would you be able to go to your GP and say that you have irregular menstrual cycles and would like your hormones checked?:shrug: In fact, I have my annual physical done every year and my GP checks all those too. Your hormone health is just as important as your heart health. If your hormones are out of whack you could have headaches, dizziness and nausea. All which could be missed if they don't check those. 

Anyways, I really hope you all can get some answers. I would just hate for anyone to go through what I went through. We TTC for a year or so and then I found out there was something wrong with me ... we would have never gotten pregnant without the help of modern medicine/science. 

Good luck girls!!! :thumbup: :flower:


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## MrsRH

PCOSMomToOne said:


> MrsRH said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> MrsGruffalo said:
> 
> 
> This might be a stupid question but what is an OBGYN? Are they another kind of nurse? Do all practices have one?
> 
> in the US women tend to have their own 'OBGYN' which is the equivalent of a gynaecology specialist in the UK.
> 
> We only have our GPs!
> 
> In the UK, GPs will only tend to do tests after 12 months of trying. You could have a pre conception appointment with your GP to go over your health and how best to increase chances of conceiving but on the whole, from my experience of working in the NHS, GPs won't do specialist fertility tests before actually trying.
> 
> Private tests could be done but may be expensive
> 
> hth
> xxxClick to expand...
> 
> Wow, really? They wont just run a normal hormone level test? It's no different then checking your cholesterol or vitamin levels. It's not really a "fertility test", it's just to check your thyroid, FSH, LH, Prolactin, Estradiol and Insulin. Would you be able to go to your GP and say that you have irregular menstrual cycles and would like your hormones checked?:shrug: In fact, I have my annual physical done every year and my GP checks all those too. Your hormone health is just as important as your heart health. If your hormones are out of whack you could have headaches, dizziness and nausea. All which could be missed if they don't check those.
> 
> Anyways, I really hope you all can get some answers. I would just hate for anyone to go through what I went through. We TTC for a year or so and then I found out there was something wrong with me ... we would have never gotten pregnant without the help of modern medicine/science.
> 
> Good luck girls!!! :thumbup: :flower:Click to expand...

a GP could do these tests, but as I wrote in my post, they usually don't do *specialist fertility tests* unless there's a problem ie irregular periods or failure to conceive. 

these screening tests could be normal and you may still have problems ie anovulation, LUFS or blocked tubes.


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## PCOSMomToTwo

MrsRH said:


> PCOSMomToOne said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> MrsRH said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> MrsGruffalo said:
> 
> 
> This might be a stupid question but what is an OBGYN? Are they another kind of nurse? Do all practices have one?
> 
> in the US women tend to have their own 'OBGYN' which is the equivalent of a gynaecology specialist in the UK.
> 
> We only have our GPs!
> 
> In the UK, GPs will only tend to do tests after 12 months of trying. You could have a pre conception appointment with your GP to go over your health and how best to increase chances of conceiving but on the whole, from my experience of working in the NHS, GPs won't do specialist fertility tests before actually trying.
> 
> Private tests could be done but may be expensive
> 
> hth
> xxxClick to expand...
> 
> Wow, really? They wont just run a normal hormone level test? It's no different then checking your cholesterol or vitamin levels. It's not really a "fertility test", it's just to check your thyroid, FSH, LH, Prolactin, Estradiol and Insulin. Would you be able to go to your GP and say that you have irregular menstrual cycles and would like your hormones checked?:shrug: In fact, I have my annual physical done every year and my GP checks all those too. Your hormone health is just as important as your heart health. If your hormones are out of whack you could have headaches, dizziness and nausea. All which could be missed if they don't check those.
> 
> Anyways, I really hope you all can get some answers. I would just hate for anyone to go through what I went through. We TTC for a year or so and then I found out there was something wrong with me ... we would have never gotten pregnant without the help of modern medicine/science.
> 
> Good luck girls!!! :thumbup: :flower:Click to expand...
> 
> a GP could do these tests, but as I wrote in my post, they usually don't do *specialist fertility tests* unless there's a problem ie irregular periods or failure to conceive.
> 
> these screening tests could be normal and you may still have problems ie anovulation, LUFS or blocked tubes.Click to expand...

Sorry just trying to help.
My infertility issue was picked up through blood work.


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## LoveCakes

I worry about this too as I had really irregular periods before I went on the pill (roughly every 2 months). Dr did blood tests and told me everything came back fine, except I didn't ovulate, but due to unpredictibility it turned out to be 3 and not 2 weeks before AF, so putting it down to that. I plan to use the ovulation sticks and lots of BD!

I think no matter what reassurance there'll still be a bit of me won't believe it until I get my BFP. I've done the looking up adoption stuff too. Will just have to wait and see. Fingers crossed for all you girls x


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## MissBabyFace

It's weird, before I got pregnant (first pregnancy and I miscarried) I'd convinced myself I was in fact infertile because my mother had BAD problems conceiving. I even warned my partner a month into being together that if he wanted kids, he shouldnt be with me because I was possibly "infertile" to which he replied, I love you, yeah I want kids BUT it's 2009, there are alternatives these days. I got pregnant last October, so clearly I wasnt infertile, but because I'm having difficulties conceiving after the miscarriage, I'm thinking has the misciarriage made me infertile?


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## Curwhibble

I'm petrified of it. I'm getting older than most of my relatives to have children now and it's starting to stress me out a teeny, tiny bit. I keep thinking that the longer we wait to be "settled" the less time we'll have to start trying and then if it turns out we have fertility problems even more time being tested and everything else. 

I think because there have been one or two occasions in the past where "accidents" could of happened and they haven't i'm a bit more anxious than OH, especially when many of my friends fell pregnant after the first "mistake". Since it's happened twice with two different people in the past I have this horrible gut feeling that conceiving will be difficult, if impossible. 

But i'm a worrier about that sort of thing. I want to find out now rather than wait to start a family when everything is sorted and find out we can't. I'd be devastated.


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## Justme

One of my biggest fears.Always has been.I would be devastated if I could never have children.x


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## MackMomma8

Always in the back of my mind... I mean, I've never tried to get pregnant, so how do I even know if I can?? I was on BCP for 12ish years, just went off it last August. My cycles seem pretty normal, 28-30 days, so at least that helps me calm down about it a bit.


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## ferens06

This is not something I ever really speak about but I think about a lot. I've thought I was infertile since I was about 10...weird I know. I was trying to imagine being pregnant the other day and just couldn't....the thought of being infertile terrifies me because being a mum is the only thing I know I want to do with my life


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## twickywabbit

I have that fear, and I'm only 19!!!


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## hwimmer

Yes, yes, and YES!


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## alex_85

My OH just turned 40, and is big into cycling, plus the fact that we haven't even set a date for TTC... I worry about that quite a lot. I'm only 25, so I'm not worried about my age, but my luteal phase seems to be a bit on the short side, so I get a bit stressed thinking that when we do start trying, it could take a while. I want at least two children, but OH has said he doesn't want to be an 'old' dad, so I do wonder how things are going to turn out....

Gah, I've just stressed myself out now, thinking about it!!! :dohh:

This is why I spend the last week of every cycle hoping for an accident :haha:


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## Tanzibar83

Hey - I think personally I'm more worried that all my family and friends will become parents before me (especially the ones who are currently single or no where near close to becoming married). I don't really fear being infertile, it just doesn't register with me as the anger from my first fear is predominant in my mind. I know that sounds stupid but I guess it stops me from being worried I may be infertile.

TTC - 8 months

I've had the following periods over the pay 12 months:

3rd May - 43 days
15th June - 87 days
10th September - 58 days
6th November - 68 days
13th January - 55 days
9th March - 55 to present day.

So I've not exactly had regular cycles but I'm at wits end as to how I can change that. I've got an ultrasound hycosy scan in 5 months (which is far too long if you ask me to wait).


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## Twag

This is the one thing that is a constant worry for me no reason for it other than I am now 31 will be nearly 33 when we do start TTC my DH is 2 years older than me, my cycles seem to be regular (if short 25 days max!) my DH had an operation on one of his man berries and this worries me about his fertility and I am sure it does him too! when I bring up my worries he says what will be will be and if we have to we will adopt! that is all great but I want to experience pregnancy and having my own child so it doesn't actually calm my fears!

I am sure we will be fine but I am going to worry everyday until that LO is born and then worry some more being a mummy :)


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## ParisJeTadore

YES!! Glad to hear I am not alone! I have had spotting before my periods for FIVE years, ever since I came off of bcp. It varies from a few days beforehand to a FULL week often making me loath my periods because they are so long. Anyhow, my dr. says this should not interfer with my being able to get pregnant in any way but despite that I am always worried that it will be an issue. I will be 28 in the fall and OH is talking about not ttc until summer 2012 :nope: which means even if I'm lucky I won't be having a baby until I'm almost 30. Not a huge deal but seeing as time is on my side I was really hoping to start having babies in my late 20's. If I do have problems....aargh, I don't even want to think about it!


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## toffee87

I'm only just laying an egg lol, at cycle day 37. Ttc could take a loooong time for me.


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