# need some advice about my pregnant girlfriend and her emotions =(



## needadvice87

hi im just wondering is it normal for a pregnant woman to loose all feelings for her partner while pregnant? i just dont know what to do to make things better, i would do anything for her she really is the love of my life but since being pregnant she dosent seem to want me around at all. all physical contact is non exsistant and all she keeps saying is she needs space, keeps snaping at me for stupid reasons and just seems to be irritated by me this has all been going on since a week before we found out she was going to have a baby, she is 7 weeks gone. it makes me so sad to think that maybe she dosent love me anymore and im really scared about what is going to happen. i do try to give her alot of space but i want to enjoy the pregnancy with her and not be shoved aside i just want to be fully apart of what is happening and be there for her anyway i can. i know its not all her fault i can be a little clingy at times but i love her and dont know what to do for the best and need to know if this could be to do with her hormones or if it is she just dosent love me anymore =( if anyone could give me some advice i would be so greatfull. thank you


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## Ew68j5

I'm sure she loves you....its the hormones. I've been murder to live with for the last few weeks, I don't mean it. She may also be a little freaked out if its your first, our pregnancy was very much wanted but I did feel a bit weird about it when it actually happened, "what have we done!", its such a life changing thing....she will come round, just try and be there for her when she needs you and don't take it personally.


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## needadvice87

thank you. it my first but her third she has two from a past relationship. i just dont know she just seems to really not want me, but cant bring herself to end things with me i really do hope you are right though and it is just her hormones because i really dont want to loose her it really would rip my world apart =(. do you know how long i should expect this to last if it is just pregnancy hormones?


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## Ew68j5

I dont know, but I know my husband will be hoping its not long. I think after 12/13 weeks once the placenta takes over the handling of the hormones you start to feel more normal. Give her a few weeks and try talking to her, its valentine's day coming up - a perfect excuse to spoil her!


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## needadvice87

thank you so much =) that gives me some hope atleast. its just weird i mean she was talking about moving in together and getting married only a few weeks ago and now she can barely stan to be in a room with me for 10 mins. im not going to give up but its just hard being treated like this when i havent really done anything wrong apart from give her what she wanted, a baby. i mean she seems really happy with the fact she is preagnant i just sometimes get the feeling she would rather be doing it with somone else instead of me i know im more than likely being stupid but i cant help but think that. im going to keep my fingers crossed that this is going to get better and she will get back to her old beautiful loving self again, i miss her so much =(.
do alot of guys experence this sort of thing during pregnancy?


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## scots_mum

Since i got pregnant i cant stand my hubby being near me, everything irritates me and i think he smells funny (he dosnt its just my over active nose) we havnt dtd in nearly 4 weeks and i know hes probably thinking the worst but i love him to bits just at the moment feel like i need room not feeling particularly like anyone touching me lol


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## cliqmo

Im afraid to say my husband is my emotional punchbag at the minute too! Although I see it in myself and make amends wherever possible :) top tip for today is NOT to call her hormonal whilst she is shouting at you


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## gmh

you sound like my partner!! in fact, i would have thought u were him except im further along!! like the other ladies said, its just hormones, not about u at all!!!


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## needadvice87

yea that sounds verry similer to whats going on with my girlfriend, so do you think i would be just be better to back off for a while? im just worried that if i dont spend any time with her she will just start to not want me anymore and i dont want that to happen. i just want to be able to make her happy and give her everything she wants in life and be a family together.


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## needadvice87

do any of you know if it is possible that she could just stay like this and not get feelings for me back?


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## cliqmo

Im afraid your damned if you do and damned if you dont, as neither feeling suffocated or abandoned will work. Just keep being your lovely self and try to remember its only for a short while :)


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## wannabenewmum

Have you actually asked her whats up. It is most likely hormones, but maybe it would be good to see if she wants to chat. Although us pregnant women are strange my husband went to get fish the other from chip shop.i said if it was too crunchy get me nothing so he did. I went mad(really didnt mean it. And he rightly pointed out if he got crunchy fish I too would be mad) sometime you just cant win best of luck hun.


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## Bumpontherun

My husband really annoyed me last time I was pregnant. I started feeling sick around 5 weeks and that lasted until about 20 weeks. I didn't want to be touched, certainly didn't want to have sex and like someone else said I didn't even like the smell of him. I also felt weird about him going anywhere near my boobs. I wasn't sleeping well and he just seemed really needy and clingy (although I don't think he'd really changed at all, it was all me) when I just wanted to be left alone. It's not nearly as bad this time, maybe because we both know what to expect and maybe also because we have our little girl to focus on too.

I think you really need to back off and let your girlfriend work through this in her own time. Obviously we can't say for sure that she still wants to be with you but the way she is behaving sounds very familiar. Give her as much space as she needs, if she's not being too unreasonable then cater to her whims but don't allow yourself to be her punch bag! If you're not living together and she's not wanting to spend the night together then I would let her have her space (I would love a couple of nights alone in our bed at the moment). To be honest I wasn't myself throughout most of my last pregnancy. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you she just has a new focus at the moment. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you :hugs:


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## needadvice87

=) thank you so much i will try, its just so hard to stay positive when im getting told that she isent in love with me anymore but dosent seem to end our relationship i just want things to go back to normal and be able to make her smile again like i used to. i really dont think she understands how much she really means to me =/


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## allaboard

Oh i think i am your girlfriend! Are you actually my fella doing some stealth posting on here?! Look, trust me - it's her hormones. She probably can't be doing with you right now, but you have to relax and not bite or be defensive because she's not able to help or control how she feels. Especially if like me she has a child from a previous relationship and has spent some time as a single mum - being pregnant makes you feel very very vulnerable and want to run away, so as much as you try to help her, she may well have issues from previous pregnancy experiences that intrude in this one whether you like it or not. 

It's not about you, even though you feel like it is, you are actually jsut the whipping boy, so the more you fuss and worry and stress you'll push her away. Be there, be calm, be supportive and firm about how you're going to be there for her and the baby however much grief she gives you. That reassurance and unconditional love and support will carry you through. When she comes to 4/5 months i promise her moods will seems less egg-shell like. She'll still be narky, but not like she is now. 

I also can't bare my fella at the moment, the plans we had together are the furthest from me mind, i don't fancy sex or him (i love and like him but you know), and last night i was a picky irritiable wench with him. I know it's hormones because i had it with my first son and my ex couldn't handle it and see the longer term picture, and we fell apart in the pregnancy early on. I also had a couple of miscarriages last year and true to form, my moods started up as well as my dislike for my boyfriend and anything physical with him too. His breath smelt rank last night and kissing makes me want to vom actually. And i dont even have morning sickness, just a sensitive everything!

It's normal, ride it out and relax - one of you needs to be and right now she's having to deal with a whole range of emotions and feelings and hormones that make life feel a bit tough at the moment. Play the longer game, it'll be worth every sexless day living with a hormonal irrational monster, i promise!

Oh and to add, i told my boyfriend last time (the miscarriages) that i didn't love him and wanted to split. This time he knows to expect that, in fact that was the only reason he was worried about having his first baby with me and getting pregnant this time as i totally pushed him away!


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## needadvice87

i have indeed tryed on may occations to talk to her about things but that really dosent get me anywhere i just end up getting snapped at =/ im just going to try and give her more space its just hard when i love being around her i dont even mind being her emotional punch bag. what i dont understand is we have been together for just about a year and she wanted to have a baby with me why would she do that if she dident love me, do you think it is just possible that she just wanted a baby? and now she has one im no longer needed =(


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## Bumpontherun

allaboard said:


> Oh i think i am your girlfriend! Are you actually my fella doing some stealth posting on here?! Look, trust me - it's her hormones. She probably can't be doing with you right now, but you have to relax and not bite or be defensive because she's not able to help or control how she feels. Especially if like me she has a child from a previous relationship and has spent some time as a single mum - being pregnant makes you feel very very vulnerable and want to run away, so as much as you try to help her, she may well have issues from previous pregnancy experiences that intrude in this one whether you like it or not.
> 
> It's not about you, even though you feel like it is, you are actually jsut the whipping boy, so the more you fuss and worry and stress you'll push her away. Be there, be calm, be supportive and firm about how you're going to be there for her and the baby however much grief she gives you. That reassurance and unconditional love and support will carry you through. When she comes to 4/5 months i promise her moods will seems less egg-shell like. She'll still be narky, but not like she is now.
> 
> I also can't bare my fella at the moment, the plans we had together are the furthest from me mind, i don't fancy sex or him (i love and like him but you know), and last night i was a picky irritiable wench with him. I know it's hormones because i had it with my first son and my ex couldn't handle it and see the longer term picture, and we fell apart in the pregnancy early on. I also had a couple of miscarriages last year and true to form, my moods started up as well as my dislike for my boyfriend and anything physical with him too. His breath smelt rank last night and kissing makes me want to vom actually. And i dont even have morning sickness, just a sensitive everything!
> 
> It's normal, ride it out and relax - one of you needs to be and right now she's having to deal with a whole range of emotions and feelings and hormones that make like feel a bit tough at the moment. Play the longer game, it'll be worth every sexless day living with a hormonal irrational monster, i promise!

^^^ WSS:thumbup:

I think pregnancy can be really tough even for the strongest relationships.


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## AndreaBat

She's vulnerable .. she's on edge .. she has changes going on in her body that she has no control over and I know how she feels so here is my advice .. dont put her under pressure .. give her as much space as she wants but be there for her as a friend more than a boyfriend .. i know its hard but that is what she needs .. I have the most amazing b/f .. wouldnt change him for the world but right now I actually get irritated when he comes near me .. sex is a NO NO .. cant even manage a proper kiss without thinking 'hurry up' .. its the hormones .. give her space she needs it. Good luck.


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## allaboard

needadvice87 said:


> i have indeed tryed on may occations to talk to her about things but that really dosent get me anywhere i just end up getting snapped at =/ im just going to try and give her more space its just hard when i love being around her i dont even mind being her emotional punch bag. what i dont understand is we have been together for just about a year and she wanted to have a baby with me why would she do that if she dident love me, do you think it is just possible that she just wanted a baby? and now she has one im no longer needed =(

You need to stop thinking stuff like that - she's just not herself right now so don't judge her on it. Pregnancy puts great emotional strain and physical strain on a woman at a time they need a strong committed partner, not one who feels like that about her. I know you love her and mean well, but what an insult :nope: If she knew you believed that, i can bet my life on it she would be very very upset and you'd make her even more distant. Please, put thought like that WELL out of they way, it'll eat into you relationship like cancer.


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## needadvice87

all i do is reasure her that im not going anywhere, i do anything she asks me even if that means walking to a shop at stupid o'clock to get anything she is craving and i help with her two boys as much as i can. the lack of sex is not even a problem i know she feels pretty rubbish at the moment and its not as if i need it on a dayly bases. i just really want her to understan how im am feeling as well but if i try talking about it, it seems to make things a little worse so i have just given up on that. i agree with you ladies its kind of a no win situation. i guess all i can do is make the best of it i just hope she gets better soon.


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## needadvice87

allaboard said:


> needadvice87 said:
> 
> 
> i have indeed tryed on may occations to talk to her about things but that really dosent get me anywhere i just end up getting snapped at =/ im just going to try and give her more space its just hard when i love being around her i dont even mind being her emotional punch bag. what i dont understand is we have been together for just about a year and she wanted to have a baby with me why would she do that if she dident love me, do you think it is just possible that she just wanted a baby? and now she has one im no longer needed =(
> 
> You need to stop thinking stuff like that - she's just not herself right now so don't judge her on it. Pregnancy puts great emotional strain and physical strain on a woman at a time they need a strong committed partner, not one who feels like that about her. I know you love her and mean well, but what an insult :nope: If she knew you believed that, i can bet my life on it she would be very very upset and you'd make her even more distant. Please, put thought like that WELL out of they way, it'll eat into you relationship like cancer.Click to expand...

i dident mean it in a bad way, i must say at this point im not the greatest at explaining myself and feelings. i know its kind of a stupid thought and its not at the front of my mind but it is just a worry, if that makes sense


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## needadvice87

i really do thank you all so much, this has really helped me understand what could be going on as so many of your own situations are so similer to whats happening to me and my girlfriend are going through and it really dose just give me hope that things will get better


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## needadvice87

one more quick question, can anyone suggest anything that i could do that might cheer her up?


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## 3boys

on my third pregnancy i was a nightmare to live with, i was so full of anger for the full 9 months and always took it out on my husband which was unacceptable, i remember sitting on my bed in the hospital after Caleb was born and feeling a sense of calmness which was alien to me over the previous 9 months, in fact when i found out i was pregnant with my daughter i was terrified it would happen again and i wouldnt be in control of my emotions but thankfully it didnt happen, Im sure she does love you it could just take a while for everything to settle down, i hope shes not as unlucky as me and have to wait for your baby to be born! x x


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## allaboard

You can say a lot without saying anything. You don't need to constantly ask or get reassurance as it's quite confrontational really, much as you feel you need to, it's counter productive. Just SHOW her every so often when she least expects it - do nice things for her (however little it might seem to you) and make her feel special, not like she's a trouble, a drain on you or an emotional freak. Don't expect much, just take it easy and relax. She'll come back to you slowly with a few ups and downs on the way. You're still getting to know each other too, and this is the first major event (because pregnancy and having a baby is one of the most stressful life events a couple can go through actually!). Just be kind, consistent in your commitment to her and be patient with her. You need to give her space, it's one of he most important things you can you do, it really is. Respect what she's saying to you, if she needs you to back off, you really must see that she means that and not take the hump. Come down from 4th to 2nd gear, and relax otherwise you're never going to even be able to communicate. The most rewarding things in life are often the most challenging things to achieve...


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## faun

Sounds like typical pregnancy hormones i love my hubby dearly but i couldn't stand him for the first 12 weeks of pregnancy he just wound me up by existing! I'm sure things will improve by the time she hits second tri. As for cheering her up how about having some flowers sent to her "to the best woman in the world love you etc" put the boys names on the card as well so its from all of you.


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## v31984

i swear your my other half lol.. im sure she doesnt mean to make you feel like that and im sure she appreciates everything you do for her.. all will come good in the end :) just stay positive and try to make her smile cos theres nothing worse than feeling down byourself and seeing a face like a slapped ass staring back at you lol


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## allaboard

needadvice87 said:


> one more quick question, can anyone suggest anything that i could do that might cheer her up?

Something you know she likes, but don't ask her - give it some thought yourself it means much more when it's personal and you thought of it on your own. Otherwise it's a cop out! Don't just do one thing, make a concerted effort to be a support from now on with the kids and the house and life generally, and use your initiative. You know what she likes, give her surprises too maybe, or little treats every now and again, but like i say, don't overwhelm her. Be a friend and build on that with no expectations.


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## KatieMRi

I had to come in and check it wasn't my OH lol, for me he smells funny and I am so uncomfortable that when he wants to give me attention I just don't want it, I love him with all my heart and soul but right now I need him to let me do whatever I feel and be understanding because I don't feel like me and I'm very tetchy :)


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## kimbotrav

hi i think its hormones my husband bugs the hell out of me at the moment lol poor man but seriously it doesnt last forever lol id say last time i was pregnant i got a little better around 12/13 weeks just give her her space and shell soon come running bk ;) i hope it gets better soon take care :)


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## KatieMRi

For me if OH wants to cheer me up, he could be understanding, leave me be when I ask without thinking I'm mad at him and not expect me to do things around the house - just whilst I got through the worst of the 1st 12 weeks


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## pupsicle

needadvice87 said:


> hi im just wondering is it normal for a pregnant woman to loose all feelings for her partner while pregnant? i just dont know what to do to make things better, i would do anything for her she really is the love of my life but since being pregnant she dosent seem to want me around at all. all physical contact is non exsistant and all she keeps saying is she needs space, keeps snaping at me for stupid reasons and just seems to be irritated by me this has all been going on since a week before we found out she was going to have a baby, she is 7 weeks gone. it makes me so sad to think that maybe she dosent love me anymore and im really scared about what is going to happen. i do try to give her alot of space but i want to enjoy the pregnancy with her and not be shoved aside i just want to be fully apart of what is happening and be there for her anyway i can. i know its not all her fault i can be a little clingy at times but i love her and dont know what to do for the best and need to know if this could be to do with her hormones or if it is she just dosent love me anymore =( if anyone could give me some advice i would be so greatfull. thank you

I went through the same thing at the start of the pregnancy, I just needed some space to get my head around the fact there was a little person growing inside me. Plus the morning sickness, sore boobies, and general tiredness, I just wanted to be left alone. But don't worry after a couple of weeks I couldn't get enough of him and went all soppy (still am now!) :cloud9:


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## dan-o

I've noticed my OH just keeps a low profile when I'm in an irritable mood, lol! Good job really! Bless! :haha:


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## allaboard

dan-o said:


> I've noticed my OH just keeps a low profile when I'm in an irritable mood, lol! Good job really! Bless! :haha:

Mine too...he goes all quiet, looks away and rolls his eyes sometimes. I've caught him doing that before and that's made me worse! He knows now there's no point tackling me now...he just retreats to feel sorry for himself, and then 5 minutes later I'll bring up something random again to break the atmosphere up a bit and he's almost sighing with relief that the evil side has gone and exasperated at the up and down moods, poor thing!


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## allaboard

KatieMRi said:


> For me if OH wants to cheer me up, he could be understanding, leave me be when I ask without thinking I'm mad at him and not expect me to do things around the house - just whilst I got through the worst of the 1st 12 weeks

Definitely, when mine gives me space without bagdering me or keeping it going, i reeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaalllly appreciate that he's respecting my wishes.


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## LittleBoo

I'm currently going between gushing love for my partner and throwing a bowl of cheerios at him for not turning round while I said something... us ladies go crazy, especially in the first trimester. Smells, painful breasts, nausea, headaches, not a good combination, add in the mood swings... just try and cope best you can mate :)


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## LadyHutch

My very first post on here was me asking if it was normal to hit my husband with a laundry basket....

I am gonna give you some honesty. Yes, some of it is hormones. But also, you need to know when that pee'd on stick turned two lines, your relationship took a drastic change. Things are going to be different from here on out. I doubt she will hate you and be so distant forever, but your relationship isn't going to go back to the good ship lollypop. Kids change everything.

I had a huge myriad of thoughts this past month...some good, some bad, about my husband, my relationship, my life. Its a huge amount of pressure. I didn't even know for certain a year ago if I wanted to have more children. I am 35 and my son is grown. I already raised a child from newborn to adult. I was all done, mine was out of the house. Then I fell in love and well, we decided to give it a shot together. We got pregnant and here i am. There are still days I wonder what the hell I was thinking..I wonder if our relationship will stay strong or fall apart. I wonder if I made a mistake. On the bad days, I don't want the inseminator anywhere near me.

In spite of that, I am also preparing to make room in my life and my heart for a new baby. I am trying to figure out how to strike a balance between mom retirement and new mom world. I'm afraid of the mistakes I made with my son and worried about my DH's kids. Outside all those worries, my every day worries are also around, nagging at me...my dad dying, work getting ready to gear up, needing to move and find a new house, and all of this while feeling like I have the worlds longest and worst hangover.

So there are a lot of times I want nothing to do with DH. I love him. I adore him. But right now, my life is very personal. And I am questioning everything. And I am not so naive as to believe this is going to get easier when I stop puking. A baby changes everything.

Go home and give the house a good scrub. Clean it like you are a maid. She'll appreciate that. Make dinner a few nights a week more. Cooking is one of the times I really want to punch him because I feel sick when I cook. Let her know you are there, but don't force things. She needs time to think and adjust.

Things will probably get better. But they are never going to be like they were. Take some time to adjust yourself. Your job isn't to handle her emotions, it is to handle your own.


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## siord76

Hi to all who have posted on this topic. You guys have put my mind at ease a great deal. I am a father to be for the first time and like the original poster my girlfriend has two children from a previous relationship. 

Unlike the first poster, I have made a lot of mistakes as I am reading through these posts. I have been constantly texting and asking for re-assurance as I had no idea what to think. My girlfriend is around 12 weeks, she has asked me not to attend the first midwife appt, and I hit the roof. I want to be part of the whole thing. I did not realise how bad hings were for mothers to be., naive is an understatement!!

I am hugely regrettful for my actions, but on the whole I try to help out with everything. I am looking at mortgages, viewing houses, cleaning and ironing. Giving my girl massages and re-assuring her the whole time.

I love her more than I ever thought possible, and reading through this forum, you may have all assisted in saving my sanity and more importantly helping me to safeguard our relationship.


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## teilliasmith

i think its mostly hormones i dont think she will stay this way no but it may take a while just be there when she needs you be ready when she comes around and it will all work out in the end and always remember she loved you so much she is haveing a baby with you and nothing will change that


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## wowohboy

needadvice87 said:


> hi im just wondering is it normal for a pregnant woman to loose all feelings for her partner while pregnant? i just dont know what to do to make things better, i would do anything for her she really is the love of my life but since being pregnant she dosent seem to want me around at all. all physical contact is non exsistant and all she keeps saying is she needs space, keeps snaping at me for stupid reasons and just seems to be irritated by me this has all been going on since a week before we found out she was going to have a baby, she is 7 weeks gone. it makes me so sad to think that maybe she dosent love me anymore and im really scared about what is going to happen. i do try to give her alot of space but i want to enjoy the pregnancy with her and not be shoved aside i just want to be fully apart of what is happening and be there for her anyway i can. i know its not all her fault i can be a little clingy at times but i love her and dont know what to do for the best and need to know if this could be to do with her hormones or if it is she just dosent love me anymore =( if anyone could give me some advice i would be so greatfull. thank you


just wondering how things turned out? has it gotten better for you two? same situation here and I never see any follow up on what happens at the end of the pregnancy!!!!!


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## Amyyyxx

kieron is tht u lol? seriously you sound like my boyfriend but i dnt have any other children lol! 
i love my boyfriend soo much but he is really doing my head in at the moment!! i find myself taking everything the wrong way!!
its just her H's hun. 
hopefully mine and hers will get back to normal as soon as poss lol.
ive been staying at my mums for the last 3 weeks coz i cant be in the same room as him for longer than 30mins with out bickering!! lol

oh the joys of being pregnant!!!
xx


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## mommybear1977

I hope things get better, I am sure she loves you but she probably feels horrible right now and doesn't know how to deal with it. This is my second and I can tell you if I do not get to eat or sleep when I want I can turn into a real bear. I am sure my hubby is feeling neglected, I don't mean to but I am so worn down right now. I hope he knows that I don't mean it and that I love him to death but I am a mess. :cry:


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## sug

:blush: I'm going to go and hug my husband now!


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## cassarita

sug said:


> :blush: I'm going to go and hug my husband now!

As soon as I get home from work and tell him how much I appreciate him!:hugs:


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## cmarie33

Just read this thread and had to chuckle at some of the things I've said/done to OH lately. It's hormones. I tend to realise when I start cracking up now and manage to turn it into a joke sometimes. However on other occasions, like when he made a comment (nothing nasty or a put down) about me parking the car, I screamed at him and stormed out of the car! Neighbours must have had a right laugh! 
I wonder how the op has got on?


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## Twister

This sounds exactly like me atm, my oh annoys the hell out of me and I take everything he says as some sort of personal attack even if it's obvious he's joking, I'm just not in the mood for it lol. It's definitely the hormones so don't worry, she loves you but pregnancy hormones are hard to deal with especially in the first trimester.


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## Sunshine12

Im not sure how many weeks she is but I told my OH I didnt love him any more and that I didnt want anything to do with him when I was (I think) about 9 weeks or so). Hormones were unbelievable and I felt absolutely horrible. Couldnt stop crying and didnt want him anywhere near me. Of course, I still loved him but I couldnt handle the hormones. I was such a bitch to him for absolutely no reason. Feel bad now but at the time I didnt care. All I knew was my whole world felt like it had been turned upside down as he was in the middle of it. Just give her space. She will likely get back to normal soon. xxx


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## lyricsop03

If it helps, yes, I"m hormonal and still love my boyfriend. He's so sweet and kind that even when I'm cranky I tell myself how wonderful he is. Just be there for her and the hormonal phase will pass. I'm sure she still loves you. :)


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## Father2b

Hi guys, im looking for a little reassurance here, as there is none at home :cry:

Nearly 4 weeks ago my (now 10 week) pregnant gf and I had a row. It is our first child and I simply didnt understand what she was going through and was quite selfish. We argued about the lack of affection, and in the end she asked me to leave and stay with my folks for a bit. 

As soon as I left I started reading up on this and so found out what an *rse I was being, and tried to put things right, A week passed with no contact. She said she needed space and couldnt bear being around me right now. 

*Week apart 2*We then had a DR appointment and whilst civil, she was fairly cold with me and said she would be in touch. 

*Week apart 3 She was diagnosed with HG and was hospitalized for 24 hours. I was phoned, so I made sure I was there the whole time which she seemed to appreciate and made a few references to me being "at home" with her. When I said I wanted to come home she said she wasnt ready and it was too soon.

We then had an urgent scan, and it was lovely, we had nice talks and she referred to the future, including me.

A couple of texts (small talk) over the next couple of days and thats it.

Now I dont know what to do for the best. It was only Tues she texted me, but I am terrified of losing her. 

We havent been together long, but I have never loved anyone like I love her and when we were living together I just adored looking after her, cooking, silly little gifts etc. We were madly in love and the pregnancy was a happy accident. We discussed marriage and she said she couldnt wait to be my wife. 

Im so scared of losing all that, and I just want to be at home looking after her the way I feel I should. Is it really true that at around 12 weeks the hormones will start to calm? I feel this is my only hope.

Thanks for reading and help if you can:thumbup:


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## Lulu1982

Maybe you could write her a letter explaining how you feel. It's hard to advise except from a personal point of view because personally I'm really easily irritated even when not pregnant!

I'd appreciate a letter about his feelings and how he wanted to be there to look after his family etc but the last thing a pregnant lady needs is someone else to feel responsible for so I would nt be all 'woe me' for fear of exasperating her further.

I,hope you get things sorted, it's difficult looking in from out outsiders point of view as we don't know anything about your personalities or your relationship.

Good luck! :)


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## Father2b

Yeah, I thought that too, but after the first week of no contcat, I sent her an email pouring my heart out, and telling her how I feel etc, so I dont want to go "overkill" with that.

I guess I am just looking for reassurance that once we hit the second trimester, things will improve!

I am a worrier by nature, she is more laid back with a "whatever will be, will be" approach, yet together, it just works. We fit perfectly and knew very quickly that we were in love and wanted to spend forever together.

Thanks for your input.

I think I will keep respecting her wish for space right now, I just wish she knew how much it hurts :sad1:


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## ToBeFather

So my girlfriends pregnant, and it came as a bit of a shock to the both of us to say the least. But she made me promise to be there for her and the child for the rest of my life, and i swore i would. I love her, and i know that she at least used to love me too. I know shes going through a lot, mood swings, sickness, nausea, the lot. I feel horrible for her, I want to help in any way I can. 

The thing is, i told my parents and family first, because I knew they'd want to know straight away and they would handle it better. And they did, they're behind us all the way, they're a little excited even. And up until she told her parents at about week 7 everything was fine, we we're happy, talking about names, picking godparents, what religion the kid would follow, the whole lot in detail. And as much as thats all fun, I knew the happiness wouldnt last and the shock, paranoia etc. would set in on her :/. 

But this I really wasnt prepared for. 
Her mother kinda hates me, she always seemed to have something against me. To be honest shes a little strange in the head. She was raised strangely and raised her daughter (Girlfriend) and bit weirdly too. And my girlfriend had been telling me that she needed me to be able to handle her mother, and i said I would be able to. But after she told her parents, and was given a not so pleasant reaction, she just cut me off all together. She would tell me she needed space, but it would only be from me. She wouldnt want to talk to me at all, turn her phone off to avoid me texting ( I didn't exactly bombard her with messages or anything). And she refuses to say anything when i do get a hold of her except "I just need time and space". She talks to everyone else, on facebook and everything, just not me. 

I'll admit, I did try to talk to her about 9 or 10 times through text messages, telling her i loved her, that i'd always be here and i want to help her etc etc. The lot. But she ignores me. She'll hang out with her friends (our friends) but doesnt want me around anymore. I don't get it, i need that woman I really do. I can't handle this not knowing, and seeing that she just doesnt want me near her. Maybe i'm just being ridiculous but i need some advice :/ 

Sorry guys, new to this site and didn't realize until now that i'm apparently replying to something or someone..


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## Luvspnk31

Trust me, it's the hormones!!!! I'm pretty sure my hubby wouldn't mind moving out for the next 35weeks, lol. Believe me, we don't like ourselves a whole lot right now. This is our 5th, so DH has (mostly) learned not to take anything too seriously right now! Try not to stress too much.


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## bther

Definitely hormones. I feel like having time and space away from my OH. During early pregnancy it feels like no one really understands what you're going through except family - well, for me anyway! It'll be okay once she's out of hormonal-ville. Just let her know you're there if you need her but give her the space she needs. Text her once a day so she knows you're thinking of her and leave her to do the rest. She'll come back.


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## pollydolly

definitely hormones!!!!

i absolutely hated my partner up until about 20weeks.
we had constant,horrendous arguments and i honestly thought we were breaking up and that would be the end of it.
fast forward to 30 weeks, we're happier than ever, because he understands now how hard pregnancy is, he allows the space i need and understands how much i cannot stand affectionate at the minute! ive never been cuddley but since being pregnant i cannot stand hugs/affectionate which sounds horrible but unfortunately is true.

Im sure itll all blow over hun and youll be back to normal, if it were me id want you to keep trying to contact me but not constant obviously. Give her the space and time she needs, just make sure she knows youre there when she needs, for appointments and scans etc etc.
Could you text and ask if she maybe wanted to go baby shopping or something? maybe that would make her respond? then she will know youre serious? :) 

hope it all works out hun. xxx


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## CanadianinTx

My history short, she was getting a divorce, we met and things went fast, after planning to move together and do things for the future, we got pregnant and now she does not know, if she clinged so much on me because her previous relationship or really want to be with me, all these happened after the 4 week.
I went to see her and thank her family for support and she went bananas, I really do not know what to do.
I love her to death, we used to drive 5 hrs every weekend to see each other and she told me that maybe it was because loneliness, her son tell me I love you and I am just not ok.
Any help?


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## sannod

Patience, listening and empathy go a long way. My husband and I pretty much separate every time I'm pregnant because my pregnancies are very rough and he offers zero help or sympathy. He's west African and still believes in the whole women keep it to themselves and don't complain and keep up their chores teaching. It's tough but in the end it all works out.


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## mgolwit21

My girlfriend is 26 weeks and I am going through the same thing as you my friend. She says that she loves me but not in the same way. She only sees me as a friend. She doesn't want me touching her, kissing her, saying I love you to her anymore. Basically she wants nothing to do with the relationship at all. She wants to act as if we aren't even in a relationship and it is really tough for me also. I try and do what she wants, but I feel so terrible, and worry all the time that maybe she really doesn't love me anymore.

She has twins from another guy who wanted nothing to do with the girls, and I have been raising them since they were 10 months old. They just turned 3. I keep trying to stay positive and tell myself it's the hormones, but much like you it's tough to understand.

I ask her all the time what changed or what happened, and she just replies that she doesn't know why she stopped having the same feelings she used to. She tells me that she just wants space, and to not think about any of it right now. She says she still loves me, and wants things back to the way they were, and that she just doesn't love me in the same way.

I'm jujst trying to be positive and try to get through it as best I can. I love her so much and she is my entire world. I'm hoping it is just hormones, but I wont know till our daughter is here in a few months. Best of luck my friend. Hope both of us get what we want.


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## londonangel

I would suggest backing off a bit. There's nothing more irritating to a pregnant woman full or hormones than someone trying to force her to be more .... well more anything! More intimate, more loving, etc. etc. I'm sure she loves you but I think you just need to give her space, like she says. The difficult thing for you is that you're not in her body so you can't feel what she feels. Things tend to calm down once the placenta takes over ;-)


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## carlyjade86

I hated my other half when I was pregnant.... I even hated his mother (who is the nicest lady ever!!) because I blamed her for everything he was! I think it's a combination of fear on both sides, coupled with hormones. Just try to be patient and understanding. I know with my other half I tried to push him away as I felt it would be easier than have him walk away - he never gave me an inkling he would be walking anywhere! Pregnancy makes us a little loopy. Just be there for her and she'll soon see the light.


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## worried man

My girl says the same thing.people have told me its hormones.We were great then she asked me to move with her adamantly.I move here she tells me she needs space one of her friends told me she thinks im to nice.plus she is in the middle of a divorce.she was so head over heels? Her sister says its her hormones.how can someone change all of a sudden.why would a person want you to be an ass.I dont understand .I love her.


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## MamaLoCo

worried man said:


> My girl says the same thing.people have told me its hormones.We were great then she asked me to move with her adamantly.I move here she tells me she needs space one of her friends told me she thinks im to nice.plus she is in the middle of a divorce.she was so head over heels? Her sister says its her hormones.how can someone change all of a sudden.why would a person want you to be an ass.I dont understand .I love her.

So this thread is really old but since your response is very recent, just in case you're coming back, I'll bite :)

I don't hate my husband right now while I'm pregnant. Yeah right, I NEED him - who else is going to cook for me and wash dishes when the smells of both of those make me vomit? Who else is going to do our laundry when I'm too tired to move? Who else is going to rub lotion on my feet and be there to listen to me whine and comfort me when I'm feeling bad? He's had to make many changes too and instead of demanding that I need space, he just makes sure anything he does that bothers me is done in another room or outside in the garage. Some things bother me but I understand that he has no idea that I can smell him take his shoes off from a mile away or that I threw up 6 times before he got home. It's still a relationship and it still takes two people to make it work and it still takes understanding and respect and compassion on both ends. I don't get to just be a b**** because I'm the one creating a baby.

As far as "want you to be an ass" I will say that prior to becoming engaged to my husband, I did break up with him for being too nice. You say she's going through a divorce so she's probably used to being in a crappy relationship and having trouble adjusting. I think it's important for people to have their space between troubling relationships too. My last big relationship was with a terrible guy for 6 years that really traumatized me. It took me 2 years for that relationship to be officially and finally DONE before I could get serious about anybody. Even then, I still didn't know how to accept a good man who loved me and treated me well. Then I felt like the dumbass. There was nothing wrong with him, it was me...what is so bad about someone bringing me coffee in the morning and writing me love letters or leaving love notes all over the house for me to find when I wake up or to drive over an hour after work just to come spend time with me so that I don't have to do the driving and wanting to snuggle up next to me? Crazy, right??

One guy treats you like a prisoner in a dungeon and then when your prince comes along to treat you like a princess, it's a big adjustment.

If she needs space, GIVE HER SPACE. I needed space and then I had an anxiety attack. Let her be the one to snuggle up next to you. Let her ask you for things instead of just giving her everything. Let her realize that she wants you there instead of just always being there. Let her realize that having you there is her choice and you're not just forcing yourself on her.


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## Anthony823

I know this is an old post but I'm hoping someone has some advice! My girl friend is 29 weeks pregnant and around the 25/26 week she started eating really distant saying I'm too clingy, I text her to much and she needs space so i gave it to her but we live together so it's kinda hard to distant my self completely from her I do everything I can to make her happy but it's not working she has a kid from her previous marriage (technically she's still married but they are separated and he knows about us) who I take of with her and latly she's been getting along better with him which I'm happy for cause her daughter needs that but I feel like she's putting fixing their friendship before our relationship and that kills me cause I do everything and anything for this girl and she just broke up with me on Sunday saying she doesn't wanna work on is till the baby's born cause she doesn't feel the same anymore but a month ago she was in love with me so I'm confused as to if its hormone or her really falling out of love with me! She also told me that I'm childish and she doesn't care if I change or don't but I don't think I'm childish I work and take care of her I'm not who I was when we first met.


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