# How long a day on the DS is healthy?



## charlotteb24

My step son is 7 years old and his recent visit to us at half term just gone was a very anti-social one. Now we live in a bigger house we currently have a spare bedroom which i set his ready bed up in for him and his lego that he can't play with around his 21 month old brother who literally tries to eat it!:dohh:

So as usual he brings his nintendo DS down and plays on it for hours at a time. I'm not comfortable with the sheer amount of time he is willing to sit alone upstairs in the room playing on his own and playing on his DS. On one day he was on it around 4+ hours and at stupid times like he'd just got up and was still in his PJ's and before breakfast he was on the DS. To make a point i didn't give him breakfast until he put it down an hour and a half later!
I mentioned his lack of social interaction to his mum to see if its the norm at home and she said that hes always in his room or on the computer or watching TV and clearly shes happy with that.

Me as a parent i'm not happy with that at all, his 21 month old brother was constatly at the bottom of the stairs calling for him to come down and he ignored it. He ignores you calling him down, he even ignores cues to go to the toilet and end up with poo in his underware which we thought we had stopped 2 visits ago.

I think we need to start limiting his DS and TV usage and make him interact with us. We see him for 5/7 days every 3 ish months as he lives up north and so we want to be able to actually see him!

How long would you allow a 7 year old per day to watch tv, play alone, play on a games console etc?


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## KidneyBeans

charlotteb24 said:


> My step son is 7 years old and his recent visit to us at half term just gone was a very anti-social one. Now we live in a bigger house we currently have a spare bedroom which i set his ready bed up in for him and his lego that he can't play with around his 21 month old brother who literally tries to eat it!:dohh:
> 
> So as usual he brings his nintendo DS down and plays on it for hours at a time. I'm not comfortable with the sheer amount of time he is willing to sit alone upstairs in the room playing on his own and playing on his DS. On one day he was on it around 4+ hours and at stupid times like he'd just got up and was still in his PJ's and before breakfast he was on the DS. To make a point i didn't give him breakfast until he put it down an hour and a half later!
> I mentioned his lack of social interaction to his mum to see if its the norm at home and she said that hes always in his room or on the computer or watching TV and clearly shes happy with that.
> 
> Me as a parent i'm not happy with that at all, his 21 month old brother was constatly at the bottom of the stairs calling for him to come down and he ignored it. He ignores you calling him down, he even ignores cues to go to the toilet and end up with poo in his underware which we thought we had stopped 2 visits ago.
> 
> I think we need to start limiting his DS and TV usage and make him interact with us. We see him for 5/7 days every 3 ish months as he lives up north and so we want to be able to actually see him!
> 
> How long would you allow a 7 year old per day to watch tv, play alone, play on a games console etc?

My kids get about an hour a day of TV time. Most don't use it. We try to limit all screen usage (Wii, computer games, TV, DS, etc.) to only one hour a day per kid. Sometimes they use it completely on one thing, sometimes they use it on different things, and sometimes not at all.

I think limiting his usage is definitely what needs to be done. Maybe every 30 minutes of real play (w/brother, outside, etc.) he can have 15 mins. of DS play.

I'm sorry, this must be hard.

He is your step son, does the mother have issues with you setting boundaries like that or does she figure your house, your rules. Just curious. 

HTH!


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## charlotteb24

No shes fine with us setting down rules, i justed wanted to hear peoples opinions so that i don't set rules that are too harsh and therefore are likely to be broken!

I thought about an hour a day too so i'm glad i wasn't being too strict.

I feel if we don't limit it, we dont get any quality time with him and nor does his little brother who absolutley worships the ground he stands on! The age gap doesn't help i don't think lol!

Thanks for replying x


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## lozzy21

You sound like you deffinatly need some rules putting in place. Planned activitys may be an idea ie baking, arty stuff which he will have to do first before he gets to play on his ds. If he dosent go to the toilet because hes too bisy playing on it, he dose get to go on it for a day ect.

I would try to plan on doing more activitys out of the house so he cant play on it, A 7 year old will find playing with a toddler very boring in the house, where as if your out at the park, swimming ect he will find it more enjoyable.


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## amy19604

I agree i think you definitly need to limit the amount of time hes aloud on it, because if you let them, they will just play on them for hours at a time as they can be addictive.
id try to get him interested in other activities.
my kids are 7 and 11 and we have a ds, wii and xbox but they dont play on them that much, and only watch a bit of tv when they get up, and for a little before bed. they mostly play outside or do other things.
i think an hour a day sounds fine.


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## charlotteb24

thanks everyone!
We do planned activities with them, went to the zoo, visited family and we did go swimming too lol! but the money runs out pretty quick when you have to occupy them for half term. I'd bought him some crafty bits to do with me in the evenings but he just wasn't interested.
In feb when hes next down, we shall have to structure how we do things a lot more and stick to a rigid time scale of 1 hour for the DS and structure time to do things together as a family unit i think!

At home his mum may be fine with him hiding away from the world all day, easy life for her lol! but it kinda defeats the object of having him down if hes not going to join in!


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## tallybee

My son (age 6) has done the forget to go to the loo thing when engrossed in a game. When he did, all consoles were withdrawn for a couple of days. He soon stopped doing that!

Yea he needs to know that it's your house your rules. He can't assume what's ok with his mum will be ok with you. He'll get used to it. Step kids bring issues like this but as long as you and husband are consistent and communicate well about what you're doing to deal with things you'll get there.

Good luck :)


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## leafygreenmum

My 7yr old step son is also a screen addict, if I let him! He is aloud 1hr at a time of 'screen' time, max 2hrs a day (he only gets the extra time if it is interspersed with 'real play', and thats only on the weekend, if we don't go out somewhere.)
He lives with me, his dad, his sister and his step bro and sis most of the time. When he is with his mum, it drives me mad that she doesn't spend any quality time with her kids and she will often let him play on games machines ALL DAY!!! (because then he is 'quiet and out of the way'!)


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## HannahsMummy

My Step Son is 18 now and was allowed to play on his Xbox, Playstation etc as much as he wanted when he was younger. Now he finds it impossible to interact with 'real' people, he cannot hold a conversation at all. He also wets himself as he will not leave a game even to go to the toilet. I only met OH 5 years ago so got involved quite late, but I set limits as I just found it unhealthy to spend 12 hours non stop on an Xbox. He protested and ended up refusing to come and visit because I said that if he came down to us then he wasn't allowed to bring his Xbox (these visits were only for a weekend).

He is slowly improving but this is only since OH has put his foot down with his ex for his Sons sake to make her realise it's not healthy. 

I feel that if there had been intervention a bit earlier he wouldn't have got into the state he is in now, so in answer to your question... Yes you should limit the time. Introduce other activities, hire a film that you can sit and watch as a family and discuss afterwards.

Good luck :)


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## seoj

I agree that is way too much time with his DS... kids need to be engaged by activities other than TV, DS, Nintendo, Wii, Web, Cells and texting... lol. I know he's a bit young for some of those... but it just get's worse as they get older. Thank goodness for parental controls on my 13 yr olds cell phone/text else she'd be on it 24-7! We still have to tell her to put it down and walk away... I get it... I do... but they need to expand their minds in more productive ways. Too much is just too much. 

Sounds like your able to set the rules when he is in your home, which is great. So maybe find other activities he can do while he is over. Family oriented or otherwise. But he needs to know the rules apply when he is at your place. Period. May be tough at first, but once he get's more involved he'll be excited to participate ;) 

I would say no more than 1-2 hrs a day (total) on any electronics. TV, DS or otherwise. We allow our 13 yr old to watch a bit when she first get's home from School, then she has to do homework, chores etc... and then she can watch again later with us for a bit before bedtime. She has no TV in her room and is required to be in her room 1/2 or so before lights out- so she can read and relax without the TV... But find a time frame that feels right for you all :) 

Best of luck!


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## ouchwithNo.2

Our son is 6 and we got him a DS when our Lo was born in June as a present from the baby. 
We had been umming and aahhhing for well over a year about getting him one, all his friends have them and I felt mean not letting him... 
OH and I decided to buy one but he is only allowed on it at the weekend for an hour a day. 
You may think that is a waste of time but he uses computers a lot a school and watches an hour of TV every morning so I think that is more than enough. 
We also have an hour of family time at the weekend when LO is asleep where we lay on the Wii fit.
When MIL was looking after him one day when we were out she let him on the DS for 3hrs and he was a hyperactive monster, he was so naughty and we were glad to get him to bed. 
Luckily he can see that too long = bad behaviour.


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## Chantibug

i admit, my kids are DS addicts. :(
My son's are 6 and 3. Yes, THREE. 
We never intended them to play DS... But my 6yr old was given one for his 5th birthday. and within 3 months the little one learned alll about it, and my sister in law gave him one when he turned 3. 
I will say, I am impressed by his dexterity and hand-high coordination though! LOL
but... We hadto set rules because the little one would forget to go to the bathroom regularly while playing, and the older one became so engrossed that he'd completely 'zone out'. 
We implemented a No DS on School Nights rule. Five days out of the week the kids may not play the DS. During summer and winter vacation they are only allowed about 30 min per night (they spend the day in daycare). On the weekends, they generally wake up and begin playing... which is ok because DH and I sleep in til about 9am and as soon as I finish making breakfast, games are off. Then they get dressed and we go about our day. When we are home later ( we go somewhere nearly every weekend) the boys can play DS for aout 2 hours, but an hour into it I send them outback to play outside. They never really give it a fight... This rule applies to the Wii as well. 

As far as TV, we're not home much for TV aside from weekend nights, so I dont put an official cap on that... and on weekend mornings, i feel morning cartoons are important as i have great memories of that :)


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## Chantibug

ouchwithNo.2 said:


> When MIL was looking after him one day when we were out she let him on the DS for 3hrs and he was a hyperactive monster, he was so naughty and we were glad to get him to bed.
> Luckily he can see that too long = bad behaviour.


Oh, my MIL annoys me because if I ask her to watch the boys and take them there she says "uhm why didnt you bring the DS's?" I'm just thinking "is it so hard to spend time with them?!"


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## charlotteb24

I'm just glad that its not just me who has this problem! whn he comes down in feb we will be very much limiting his time on them i think!
This will be more than likely the last time he sees him little brother before the next little one is born so i want him to spend some quality time with him.
Its difficult when step son lives in a household where he is the youngest and when he comes down here, hes the eldest but the more he puts off being around his younger brother, the worse it will be when he does finally get told no ds games at all and you spend all your time downstairs with us!
Hopefully he will comply and the correct ammount of family and personal time will be met!


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## morri

When I was a kid I was only allowed to use a gameboy for half an hour a day, , and i think the booklet says one shouldnt make a break every 2 hours or so for the eyes not to take a strain.


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