# Could use a buddy



## SashimiMimi

Hi All! I'm new here and could really use a buddy. I'm feeling pretty deflated after the arrival of AF this morning. I'm 30 years old, been TTC for #1 for 8 months. Anyone else in the same boat? OH is supportive but feels I'm "too focused" on this one thing. Would love to chat with other women who have been trying for a few months!


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## timeforababy

Hi :)

I'm 32 and starting cycle #9 for the one and only.

I'm totally obsessed and it drives OH nuts so I spend a lot of time on here with randomly lurking but not posting. I started temping and do some OPKs.


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## hello_kitty_t

Hi there, I am new in the game, this is only me 2nd cycle TTC, but I will turn 30 this year and we want 2 children eventually so I am very much in a hurry to get pregnant. I am totally obsessed and started out with BBT, OPK, checking CM, etc & hubby thinks I am "putting too much pressure on it." Seems like he think casual BD will lead to pregnancy. I said hey if I can calulate our best chances then I am going to!


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks for your responses timeforababy and hello_kitty_t!! It's nice to meet other people to be "focused" with! ;) For some reason I just assumed I'd get pregnant right away, so now that we are approaching the 1 year mark of TTC, I find myself obsessing even more. I also made the mistake of telling close friends that we are trying for a baby and a lot of them continually ask if we are pregnant "yet" so that puts on more pressure. I wish I could have OH's nonchalant it will happen when it happens attitude. I know everyone says to just relax and not think about it, but I'm sure many of us here find that easier said than done.
I've been using OPK, but struggled with BBT. Have you found that BBT helps? Im starting testing a cycle monitoring at a fertility clinic this week, so hopefully that brings some answers.


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## hello_kitty_t

BBT is not telling me much so far. The dog wakes me up all hours of the morning sometimes so those temps are wacky. I had a temp spike on CD14 (a day I was woke up early) but I didn't get a +OPK til that day, so the temp spike should be after. Anyway, I hope that after a few months I'll be able to see a pattern.


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## SleepyOwl

Hey Sashimi! Same boat here except I'm on my 3rd cycle. OH says I'm "trying to hard". He totally wants a baby and has for a while, but feels like I shouldn't temp or use OPK's. Personally, I don't care! AF showed up early this month and I'm determined to get things right these next few cycles. I'm going to keep trying as hard as I possibly can til I have a little baby in my arms.


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## piya

SashimiMimi said:


> Hi All! I'm new here and could really use a buddy. I'm feeling pretty deflated after the arrival of AF this morning. I'm 30 years old, been TTC for #1 for 8 months. Anyone else in the same boat? OH is supportive but feels I'm "too focused" on this one thing. Would love to chat with other women who have been trying for a few months!

:hugs: YES i want to join u as buddy. today my AF showed up. My age is 30 and ttc for 5months. cycle days 32. :shrug:irregular42-60 days cycle as per their wish sometimes.. :dohh:


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## timeforababy

SashimiMimi said:


> Thanks for your responses timeforababy and hello_kitty_t!! It's nice to meet other people to be "focused" with! ;) For some reason I just assumed I'd get pregnant right away, so now that we are approaching the 1 year mark of TTC, I find myself obsessing even more. I also made the mistake of telling close friends that we are trying for a baby and a lot of them continually ask if we are pregnant "yet" so that puts on more pressure. I wish I could have OH's nonchalant it will happen when it happens attitude. I know everyone says to just relax and not think about it, but I'm sure many of us here find that easier said than done.
> I've been using OPK, but struggled with BBT. Have you found that BBT helps? Im starting testing a cycle monitoring at a fertility clinic this week, so hopefully that brings some answers.

:) It's only my second month of BBT, I was trying to take it easy before this, so I don't really have that much useful information from it yet


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## countrygirl86

Hi there, I'm a little younger (25) but have been trying for 9 months and am starting to realize the benefit of reaching out to you people! We haven't told anyone we are trying so it's nice to have people to talk to about it!


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## SashimiMimi

Kitty, I'm the same way with irregular sleeping patterns. I couldn't keep up with the bbt!

Sleepyowl, I told OH that doing the OPKs, etc., help me to understand my own body better. I was on the pill for 10 years, so it takes some time to get used to figuring out when O will occur each month. I totally obsessed over it during my first 4 cycles and then took a break. Personally, I find it really exciting seeing that happy face on the CB OPKs!!!!! :)

Piya!! Looks like we are pretty much on the same cycle. I'm usually 31 days, but was 29 this month. We can be cycle buddies!!!


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## bakingbabe

I am 31 and this is our 5th month of trying. Took me 7 months to convince dh to have kids. 
Luckily, my bbt charting and opk's haven't been an issue with us; dh says do what you need to do to give us the best chance.


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## SashimiMimi

Hi country girl!! I guess you can relate to that awkward stage of TTC for 8 or 9 months... You haven't exactly started trying, but aren't past that 1 year mark where its considered long time TTC or having fertility problems. 
I got impatient and went to a fertility clinic last week. I just want to do some testing to make sure everything is in working order, so we will see!
I kind of wish we hadnt told anyone that we were TTC because every time we see close friends that know they say "any luck? No??? Oh, it only took us 3 months to conceive you must be doing it wrong." ugh!!! OH and I have been married for 3 years so people naturally ask when we are going to have kids. 
Agree that it's great to have another people to reach out to here who are going through the same things and that we are not alone!!


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## SashimiMimi

Good luck baking babe!! After my own experience with TTC, I wonder how on earth anyone gets pregnant by accident when there is such a small window each month that it can actually happen!! ;)


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## bakingbabe

SashimiMimi said:


> Good luck baking babe!! After my own experience with TTC, I wonder how on earth anyone gets pregnant by accident when there is such a small window each month that it can actually happen!! ;)

My thoughts exactly!


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## lauren26

Can I jump in to this buddy group? :) I will be 27 this year and we've been TTC for about 6 months--technically longer but it's a long story...I need a buddy/some buddies, too! This month and last have been particularly hard for me emotionally, and I've also struggled with thinking there's something going on in my body that is preventing me from getting or staying pg. My OB says not to worry and patience is key but I have a gut feeling something else is up, and the patience part is hard! Literally every woman in my life who has had a child in the past few years got pregnant on the first month TTC--my sister-in-law got pg with all 3 of her children the first month. I started charting and temping last month, so this will be my first full cycle doing that. 

Curious if anyone has had spotting issues or progesterone problems?


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## TxGreen

SashimiMimi said:


> After my own experience with TTC, I wonder how on earth anyone gets pregnant by accident when there is such a small window each month that it can actually happen!! ;)

My exact thoughts too! I'm 30, less than a month from turning 31, and just started my 2nd cycle of TTC. My DH thinks I obsess too much as well. It's hard not to when it's something you don't have a whole lot of control over. I temp, chart, and use OPKs. I still don't understand what I'm seeing, but I guess I will in time. I'm sooo impatient though! I just got off of birth control (after 12 years on it) so I'm just lucky my cycle is at 29 days already. I would love to have a buddy! :friends:


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## SleepyOwl

bakingbabe said:


> SashimiMimi said:
> 
> 
> Good luck baking babe!! After my own experience with TTC, I wonder how on earth anyone gets pregnant by accident when there is such a small window each month that it can actually happen!! ;)
> 
> My thoughts exactly!Click to expand...

Same here! It's nothing short of a miracle now that I realize how difficult it is. I started temping this morning and am SUPER excited to start using those OPK's (is that weird?).


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## ladyf

Hello !:flower:
Also 30 here, on cycle 8 ttc. It is just not happening:shrug:
And l also made the mistake of telling people that we are ttc so that the first question l get when l talk to family or friends."has it happened yet?" 
Poas every month, BnB to get advice ,using opk and preseed. BBT will drive me crazy , don't think l will be able to sleep well.
Panicked last month, got tests done and all are normal. Have uterine fibroids which shouldn't be problem but still think l need further investigations. Wanted to ask for an hsg , to check if tubes are clear.I know l need it take it easy, but l want my BFP.
Guess we all want a 2012 BFP ,esp around 30 cause l feel like the clock is beginning to tick and just in case there are infertility issues l want them fixed now. Hope we are all healthy ! 

All the best ladies for 2012!


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Lauren26, TXGreen and Ladyf!! Welcome!!!!
While I'm sorry to hear that our BFPs are taking their time, it's nice in a way to know there are others going through the same thing. I also constantly worry that something is not right with me as well. I Doctor Google infertility problems to death and psych myself out!! I'm starting blood tests tomrrow and my doctor recommend I do an HSG as I don't want to wait until the 1 year mark to start investigating. My naturopath thinks I might have a progesterone deficiency, so tests will confirm.
Here is an inspiring story-- my sister-in-law tried for 3 years for #1 and did every test under the sun. Noting was wrong and it was an unexplained infertility. They were 1 step away from doing IVF when their 4th IUI attempt came back a BFP!! My niece is now an amazing 3 year old and SIL says if they had gotten pregnant right away it wouldn't have been their same little girl. They had to wait all that time to have that perfect baby girl... A year later they got pregnant with #2 on their first try! So what ever was wrong corrected itself... I just think of that story when I am really down. Maybe my baby just isn't ready to come just yet. But it's SO hard to be patient... Especially when everyone on Facebook etc is showing off their baby bumps, ultrasound photos, etc.
I'd love to keep in touch with all of you as we go through this TTC journey even if it's just to vent and get frustrations out.
Baby dust to all as they say!!


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## ljbbabyplease

Hi I would like to jump in here too. I am 26 almost 27 and have been TTC for about a year and a half with no luck. I also made the mistake of telling ppl and often get the whole are you pregnant yet. I find the worst though is when someone says I am glowing and that I must be pregnant. I also thought that I would get pregnant right away but I think because I am so irregular it has been hard for my DH and I. I have gone a full three months with out a period once. The worst is to miss a period and get your hopes up (which I have doen many times). It seems everyone around me is getting pregnant and when I get told I am crying and saying I am so happy for them but really I feel like it is unfair lol. I am super frustrated!


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## SleepyOwl

SashimiMimi said:


> Hi Lauren26, TXGreen and Ladyf!! Welcome!!!!
> While I'm sorry to hear that our BFPs are taking their time, it's nice in a way to know there are others going through the same thing. I also constantly worry that something is not right with me as well. I Doctor Google infertility problems to death and psych myself out!! I'm starting blood tests tomrrow and my doctor recommend I do an HSG as I don't want to wait until the 1 year mark to start investigating. My naturopath thinks I might have a progesterone deficiency, so tests will confirm.
> Here is an inspiring story-- my sister-in-law tried for 3 years for #1 and did every test under the sun. Noting was wrong and it was an unexplained infertility. They were 1 step away from doing IVF when their 4th IUI attempt came back a BFP!! My niece is now an amazing 3 year old and SIL says if they had gotten pregnant right away it wouldn't have been their same little girl. They had to wait all that time to have that perfect baby girl... A year later they got pregnant with #2 on their first try! So what ever was wrong corrected itself... I just think of that story when I am really down. Maybe my baby just isn't ready to come just yet. But it's SO hard to be patient... Especially when everyone on Facebook etc is showing off their baby bumps, ultrasound photos, etc.
> I'd love to keep in touch with all of you as we go through this TTC journey even if it's just to vent and get frustrations out.
> Baby dust to all as they say!!

I could have written that story myself Sashimi! My sister had the EXACT same experience. Tried for 3 years, then finally got pregnant her 5th cycle of IUI - her last shot before IVF. My niece is 3 and is perfect - my sister always says that's exactly how it was supposed to happen and she wouldn't trade all that time in and had a kid earlier because she wouldn't have her baby. Definitely inspiring!


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## piya

hi,
i would love to be your cycle buddy:hugs:.. hope together we make the bfp's..:dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust:
my fertile period will be from 24- 31 march.. when is yours! mostly :sex:on 26thmarch i will ovulate. we will be sharing our experiences together..:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## countrygirl86

SashimiMimi said:


> Hi country girl!! I guess you can relate to that awkward stage of TTC for 8 or 9 months... You haven't exactly started trying, but aren't past that 1 year mark where its considered long time TTC or having fertility problems.
> I got impatient and went to a fertility clinic last week. I just want to do some testing to make sure everything is in working order, so we will see!
> I kind of wish we hadnt told anyone that we were TTC because every time we see close friends that know they say "any luck? No??? Oh, it only took us 3 months to conceive you must be doing it wrong." ugh!!! OH and I have been married for 3 years so people naturally ask when we are going to have kids.
> Agree that it's great to have another people to reach out to here who are going through the same things and that we are not alone!!

That's exactly where I feel I am! Stuck in the middle! My patience is keeping me going though. My husband had testicular cancer 9 years ago so we are already aware we may not be able to have kids the old fashioned way but he has an appointment with his doctor in June so if nothing by then he's planning to get tested. We haven't told anyone we're trying for that reason also, I wouldn't want to break his heart even more if we couldn't :( Thanks for the support!


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## lauren26

SashimiMimi said:


> Hi Lauren26, TXGreen and Ladyf!! Welcome!!!!
> While I'm sorry to hear that our BFPs are taking their time, it's nice in a way to know there are others going through the same thing. I also constantly worry that something is not right with me as well. I Doctor Google infertility problems to death and psych myself out!! I'm starting blood tests tomrrow and my doctor recommend I do an HSG as I don't want to wait until the 1 year mark to start investigating. My naturopath thinks I might have a progesterone deficiency, so tests will confirm.
> Here is an inspiring story-- my sister-in-law tried for 3 years for #1 and did every test under the sun. Noting was wrong and it was an unexplained infertility. They were 1 step away from doing IVF when their 4th IUI attempt came back a BFP!! My niece is now an amazing 3 year old and SIL says if they had gotten pregnant right away it wouldn't have been their same little girl. They had to wait all that time to have that perfect baby girl... A year later they got pregnant with #2 on their first try! So what ever was wrong corrected itself... I just think of that story when I am really down. Maybe my baby just isn't ready to come just yet. But it's SO hard to be patient... Especially when everyone on Facebook etc is showing off their baby bumps, ultrasound photos, etc.
> I'd love to keep in touch with all of you as we go through this TTC journey even if it's just to vent and get frustrations out.
> Baby dust to all as they say!!

Wow! That is inspiring. I know a couple like that, too. They tried and tried and weren't having luck (in their 30s) and adopted their first. They were determined to have another so they tried and tried again. They found out that she had a micro blod clotting issue (whatever on earth that is!) and that it would be 'impossible' for her to have an unassisted pregnancy. They did IVF and it worked, but he had to give her shots in her arm three times a day for the entire pregnancy. After that they were done. The shots, the procedures--all very stressful for them and they wanted a 2 child household, anyway. A couple of years later they were at a party and she told him she had a feeling she might be pregnant and rushed out of the party to get a test. He knew she was when she called and asked him to come home. After getting pregnant totally naturally with #3 he got a vasectomy--lol. Anyway, her docs told her it was _impossible_ for her to get pregnant naturally, and by this point she was later in her 30s.

Anyway, I know what you mean about wanting to get tests done now! My OB has not wanted to do anything unless it seems absolutely necessary--which I appreciate, but getting BFNs over and over for a year while friends and family get pregnant and deliver beautiful babies all around me is pretty rough on the emotions! I left my job and have been in the process of getting new insurance, so the one procedure I wanted to have has been put on hold so that I can get approved for insurance quicker. Anyway, I'm thinking that as soon as I've got my new insurance I'm doing the works! I agree, no use waiting a year or more when you could know sooner if there's something that could be done.


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## lauren26

Wow..DH just said to me, 'I thought you were going to relax about this stuff! There's been underlying stress in our house for a year because of this!'. So hurtful! I know he doesn't understand, but seriously--blaming your wife for feeling sad or frustrated at times about wanting to get pregnant isn't going to help our stress level...Anyone have tips on resources for men on how to support their TTC wives? Lol.


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Ladies! Hope you're all well today. Welcom ljbbabyplease! I know what you mean about people telling you about "the glow." I got that same comment too at someone's baby shower. It's probably because I've slacked at the gym lately and am putting on weight! ;) Irregular cycles are tough. I've been fairly regular since going off the pill a year ago, but I wish doctors told young women going on the pill what it would be like to go off of it 10+ years later. It's like I've totally had to get reacquainted with my body... Not to mention my skin was really bad for a couple months after I stopped the pill. Worse than when I was a teen!

SleepyOwl- That's amazing your sister had a similar experience to my SIL!! Well that gives me even more hope! Now if I can just learn the art of being patient.

Piya-Our fertile windows are very close. I THINK I O sometime between day 15-18, so March 25-28. I'll be trying before, during and after! *fingers crossed*

Countrygirl-Good luck to your husband with his doctor's appointment in June. I find the whole "not knowing" IF something is wrong the toughtest part, so once you get some answers from the doctor I'm sure that will put your mind at rest.

Lauren- I think husbands shrug off the whole TTC worrying thing to try and be the strong ones, but don't realize they come off as being as insensitive. I know my husband finds it hard when he can't "fix" something and he feels like he's letting me down. Sometimes I just want to hear reassuring words like "don't worry it will happen" whether he knows it or not. But if he was like me, going nuts once a day with a whole bunch of "what ifs" I would probably go even more nuts if two of us were panicking! Tell your OH that you just want someone to listen and not necessarily give their two cents about relaxing... And in the mean time, you have all of us here to vent with! ;) 

Sorry for the long post. I'm really enjoying chatting with all of you and feel it's really helping me not feel so alone and isolated in this. I went to the fertility clinic today to start testing. There are so many tests and it's all so mind boggling, I have felt REALLY overhwhelmed all day. There were LOTS of women in the clinic today, so again another reminder that not EVERYONE is getting BFPs on their first or second try. 
Next week I'll be going for an HSG test (the one where they run dye through your tubes to see if they are blocked.) My SIL had a very painful experience with this particular test, so I admit I'm kind of terrified! Although, I think I'm more scared of being blocked than feeling the pain. So I think I'll be feeling extremely anxious over the next few weeks until I get all the results back.


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## Babyseed08

Hi ladies, im 26 and my OH and I have been trying 4 months this month, CD 9 today. He too feels I focus too much on becoming preggo rather than enjoying the ride. I find comfort in a + OPK and regular arrival of AF for the past three months. My concn is that AF is only lasting 3 days since i came off the pill in november . I'm trying hard to be positive and enjoy BDing so that it doesn't become a quota we must meet. : p I'm excited to share this journey with women who can understand and appreciate the rollercoaster that is baby making for the first time!


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Babyseed! My AF also lasts 3 days since coming off the pill, but my doctor doesn't seem to think its a concern. I had worse cramps on the pill and AF used to last 4 or 5 days. :)


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## Babyseed08

Hi Sashimi, my cycle averages 25 days but Dr. Says if AF and OPK are +, then all is ok. I'm opposite, I miss my pill, I am an emotional crampy mess since I came off of it lol! :wacko: I'll deal with it if it means being a step closer to baby bump :thumbup: I'm excited to have found you guys, I think this will truly make the experience all the more positive knowing we can support each other. Bedtime for me now , sweet dreams and baby dust! :dust: Will definitely be back tomorrow!!!


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## lauren26

piya said:


> hi,
> i would love to be your cycle buddy:hugs:.. hope together we make the bfp's..:dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust:
> my fertile period will be from 24- 31 march.. when is yours! mostly :sex:on 26thmarch i will ovulate. we will be sharing our experiences together..:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Hey Piya - I will have almost the same window next month, 22-29, so maybe we can be budies!


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## lauren26

@Sashimi - Thanks for that! I know, you're right. Husbands don't know how to deal with their lack of control or ours in this area! I do really appreciate being able to come on here, whether it makes OH think I'm obsessing or not, lol. Last cycle I was part of the March Testers thread and I'm thinking that was way too much--soooo many BFPs, it was hard for me not to feel discouraged with every single one instead of happy! I think on smaller threads like this it's been easier for me to feel excited for people because I have followed them from the beginning and know their story! Anyway, thanks for starting this :)

I'm really curious to hear about your tests--I want to get the dye test, too. My main fear is about progesterone, but I think it wouldn't hurt to check out the other stuff, too. Does your insurance cover the fertility clinic? I don't think that there's an independent clinic where I live--it's a very holistically-oriented town and when I Google 'fertility center' I get all of this acupuncture and herbalism. Couldn't hurt to try, I guess!

Very curious to know about the tests! Keep us posted.


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## SashimiMimi

Hey Lauren, I will keep you posted for sure. I live in Canada, so most of the tests are covered. I only had to play for one blood test so far that wasn't covered, but it wasn't overly expensive. 
The fertility doctor that I'm seeing seems great, but I have a feeling he thinks I'm jumping the gun by doing all the testing now. As I said before, I don't see what difference it makes if I start testing now or 4 months from now when we hit the magical 1 year mark.
TTC is hard enough when you are trying to time everything perfectly, I'd rather know that both OH and I are healthy and functioning properly.
My good friend specializes in fertility acupuncture and I actually did acupuncture with her during my first 4 cycles of TTC. I figured I tried the holistic route, now it's time to see what western medicine has to say!!
P.S. I can imagine how overwhelming the march testers thread would have been!! I told my mom about this board and she asked why I wasn't chatting with people who had their BFPs right away for "positive encouragement" Lol!!! I was like no... I run into those people IRL every day. Finding people who are in the same boat as you IS a positive reminder that we all have our own TTC paths to follow.


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## countrygirl86

SashimiMimi - where are you in Canada? I'm in Eastern Ontario between Toronto and Ottawa. What tests are you going through? DH thinks he'll be the 'issue' but I'm fully prepared to go through the steps too. I just joined a couple of days ago but am already finding a lot of support in all of you! It's quite a relief.


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Countrygirl!! I'm actually right in Toronto! As far as the tests go, we are doing the basic blood tests, I'm doing the HSG test next week, OH will do SA and then we will do a test to see how his S mixes with my EGCM... Can't remember the name of the test, but I guess we are checking all possible scenarios. In addition, I'm doing cycle monitoring so I will know exactly when I O. It's all mind boggling and I must have looked like a deer in headlights at the clinic yesterday!!
I haven't felt this overwhelmed or anxious since we started TTC! Any sort of medical test terrifies me!!
Considering that pregnancy has been happening since the beginning of time, who knew it could be so complicated!!! :)


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## countrygirl86

Hey SashiMimi did you just start cycle monitoring? My doctor mentioned charting BBT at my pre-TTC check but it seemed to be more of a hassle to me. I'm afraid if we need to go for testing they'll expect I've been charting? Sounds like a lot of work! I've been known to pass out in hospitals so I know how you are feeling! The good news is you are at the point where you will only learn more and at least see where you stand!


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## TxGreen

lauren26 said:


> Last cycle I was part of the March Testers thread and I'm thinking that was way too much--soooo many BFPs, it was hard for me not to feel discouraged with every single one instead of happy! I think on smaller threads like this it's been easier for me to feel excited for people because I have followed them from the beginning and know their story! Anyway, thanks for starting this :)

I feel the same way! Its exciting that a lot of us have the same cycle. I should O around the 25th!


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## lauren26

Tx - woohoo! Maybe if we all put our minds to it together... :)


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## ljbbabyplease

Hey how was the fertility acupuncture. I was thinking that I would try it myself but am a little worried. I have had acupuncture before for my back but am hesitant to do it where I can see the needles lol. I heard it can help to regularize your cycles. Did you notice any differences?


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## lauren26

ljbbabyplease said:


> Hey how was the fertility acupuncture. I was thinking that I would try it myself but am a little worried. I have had acupuncture before for my back but am hesitant to do it where I can see the needles lol. I heard it can help to regularize your cycles. Did you notice any differences?

Ooo I'm curious too--I have an appointment tomorrow AM with a fertility-specializing acupuncture lady and have never had it done before. She told me I'd probably have to do herbs, too, which sort of freaks me. But I am curious to know how it worked for others.


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## SleepyOwl

Hi ladies - just checking in and by that I mean stalking! It seems like we're all on a similar cycle. I'm O'ing either the 24th or 25th. I'm praying its earlier or later this month since OH and I are in different states the 23rd-25th :( Such bad timing, but what can you do, right?

Sashimi, I hope all your tests go well! And I hope we all get BFP's this cycle!!!!!

:dust:


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## Babyseed08

Well ladies I believe my OH and I have had the first major bump in the road to baby making, my unspoken stress and his frustration on my obvious though unspoken stress about TTC has led to a meltdown on my end. I'm feeling defeated by the process right now, even though my OPK is officially positive today, I'm struggling to find the heart to BD knowing we a both emotionally not ok today! On the treadmill trying to ask Gods help for resolution and help just letting go. I would love advice if anyone has been here and done this. Till then thank you guys :cry::cry::cry:


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## lauren26

Babyseed08 said:


> Well ladies I believe my OH and I have had the first major bump in the road to baby making, my unspoken stress and his frustration on my obvious though unspoken stress about TTC has led to a meltdown on my end. I'm feeling defeated by the process right now, even though my OPK is officially positive today, I'm struggling to find the heart to BD knowing we a both emotionally not ok today! On the treadmill trying to ask Gods help for resolution and help just letting go. I would love advice if anyone has been here and done this. Till then thank you guys :cry::cry::cry:

Babyseed - I'm so sorry, it can be really, really hard and emotional!! It's one of those things that's not easy to talk about with friends and family, or even our OH's, like you're saying. And I know what you mean about it feeling like it HAS to be done, even when you're feeling like crap and BD is the last thing on your mind. My OH and I have been there these past couple of months. It's a total emotional rollercoaster! On the one hand, you want to stay up and positive because it's such and exciting prospect, and on the other it's just wearing and we, as women TTC, become super aware of our moods, bodies, hormones, etc. What you're going through is normal but very hard. 

I think asking for God's help is a great place to start! This process is particularly frustrating for me because I'm someone who loves to control and there's just no way to control when pregnancy will happen. So I FEEL you--and I think that surrendering the entire thing to a higher power can be really helpful. I have a therapist and I've brought some of my feelings about TTC into my sessions, which has actually really helped--just to have someone who doesn't know me (like my partner or family or friends do) to listen is a relief--there's no judgement. I would suggest this--my OH and I also used to go to couples counseling just for basic maintenance and it was amazing. We haven't gone together since TTC, but we both really loved the chance to process together in a safe space and be mirrored by an uninvested party. Maybe you guys could look into that!

TTC is a process that only a niche group of people understand, an usually that group is not the people around us in everyday life. We are here for you on BnB!! :hugs: 

Be gentle with yourself--that's the most important thing.


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## piya

hi friends,
how is everything going on.. 
destressed myself and hubby by good music in candle night at home tonight..felt rejuvenated.. like our first meet.. 
sending lots of baby dust to everyone...


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## lauren26

Hey all,

I started a new thread for this in TTC but got no response so wondered if any of you have insight. Here's the copy/paste--it is long...

So I'm pretty positive I had a chemical and early mc about five days ago...I can't confirm for sure because I'm right in between insurance (dang!), but I got a very faint positive on hpt the morning before the alleged mc...And it was a very intense bleed that came on quick, four days early (very unusual for me), complete with very, very bad cramping, clots and vomiting. 

My question relates to this: my BBT dropped below the coverline for two days a few days prior to the mc, and have stayed above it ever since, with the exception of yesterday, which could be thrown out as my room was freezing and I woke up with my mouth wide open. Also, I got my crazy 40 pack of OPK strips in the mail just now and decided, for fun, to do one even though I'm only on CD 5 according to FF. It's pretty close to being positive--not all the way there yet. 

So the questions: 

1. Why is my BBT still high after this mc/chemical/whatever it was? My temps last month plummeted the morning I got AF, and she came right on time at dpo 14.

2. Why is my OPK already almost positive?? Could the chemical cause me to ovulate early? 

I feel afraid that there is something crazy going on with my body that should concern me....Has anyone else had an experience like this? I have done more hpts since starting to bleed, just in case, and always bfn, so I don't think it's that (that's what I would suspect with this many high temps).

There is a link to my chart on here. If anyone has insight that would be really helpful! Thought I'd know about my insurance on Thurs and it's been delayed--right when I need to talk to a doc the most :)

Here is the OPK

https://i1263.photobucket.com/albums/ii633/laurendartt/photo-1-2-2.jpg


----------



## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> Hey all,
> 
> I started a new thread for this in TTC but got no response so wondered if any of you have insight. Here's the copy/paste--it is long...
> 
> So I'm pretty positive I had a chemical and early mc about five days ago...I can't confirm for sure because I'm right in between insurance (dang!), but I got a very faint positive on hpt the morning before the alleged mc...And it was a very intense bleed that came on quick, four days early (very unusual for me), complete with very, very bad cramping, clots and vomiting.
> 
> My question relates to this: my BBT dropped below the coverline for two days a few days prior to the mc, and have stayed above it ever since, with the exception of yesterday, which could be thrown out as my room was freezing and I woke up with my mouth wide open. Also, I got my crazy 40 pack of OPK strips in the mail just now and decided, for fun, to do one even though I'm only on CD 5 according to FF. It's pretty close to being positive--not all the way there yet.
> 
> So the questions:
> 
> 1. Why is my BBT still high after this mc/chemical/whatever it was? My temps last month plummeted the morning I got AF, and she came right on time at dpo 14.
> 
> 2. Why is my OPK already almost positive?? Could the chemical cause me to ovulate early?
> 
> I feel afraid that there is something crazy going on with my body that should concern me....Has anyone else had an experience like this? I have done more hpts since starting to bleed, just in case, and always bfn, so I don't think it's that (that's what I would suspect with this many high temps).
> 
> There is a link to my chart on here. If anyone has insight that would be really helpful! Thought I'd know about my insurance on Thurs and it's been delayed--right when I need to talk to a doc the most :)
> 
> Here is the OPK
> 
> https://i1263.photobucket.com/albums/ii633/laurendartt/photo-1-2-2.jpg

Sorry to hear that Lauren :(

Because I'm obsessive, I just googled for like 30 minutes. So per Google, seems like a lot of women's BBTs stay high after a chemical, but eventually go back to normal. As for the positive OPK, I have no idea. I tried looking it up but couldn't find anything. Could the OPK be going off leftover preg hormones? Seems super early to ovulate - or maybe you are and you're super fertile??


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## lauren26

Thanks, sleepy!! I tried to google and was having a hard time getting answers. I'm glad to know it's normal...hopefully my temps will drop soon and I'll just O on time! I'm an obsessive and a googler, too :). I'll see what the bbt reads tomorrow am. Thanks for helping! I feel relieved.


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## SleepyOwl

How's everyone doing? 

Lauren - did your BBT ever go down? 

All is well on my end. Waiting to O. I started temping this cycle and my temps are ALL over and super high the past two days, but I know I haven't O'd yet. No EWCM or ovulation pains. Regardless, been BD'ing juuuust to be safe. Not trying to risk missing it. I bought some OPK's and have no clue what I'm doing. I took a test yesterday and today and they were both negative. I'm kind of nervous because my hubby is going out of town on Wednesday night and won't be back til Sunday. We're going to BD Weds before he leaves, and as soon as we get back home on Sunday, but I'm really really scared that I'm going to O on like Saturday and totally miss my chance this month. I guess there's nothing I can really do; it's just been in the back of my mind for the past week or so. Fingers crossed this is my month!!


----------



## lauren26

SleepyOwl said:


> How's everyone doing?
> 
> Lauren - did your BBT ever go down?
> 
> All is well on my end. Waiting to O. I started temping this cycle and my temps are ALL over and super high the past two days, but I know I haven't O'd yet. No EWCM or ovulation pains. Regardless, been BD'ing juuuust to be safe. Not trying to risk missing it. I bought some OPK's and have no clue what I'm doing. I took a test yesterday and today and they were both negative. I'm kind of nervous because my hubby is going out of town on Wednesday night and won't be back til Sunday. We're going to BD Weds before he leaves, and as soon as we get back home on Sunday, but I'm really really scared that I'm going to O on like Saturday and totally miss my chance this month. I guess there's nothing I can really do; it's just been in the back of my mind for the past week or so. Fingers crossed this is my month!!

Hey Sleepy - My BBT did go down yesterday, finally. My period was kind of long, and my BBT went down after the first few heavy days. 

When you say the OPKs were both negative do you mean two tests, or that neither line showed up? It may have been a bad test. What dpo are you at? You could totally BD on Weds and ovulate on Saturday and still get pregnant...I see charts on FF all the time where the woman ovulated 5 days after BD. Have you tried PreSeed?


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## sweetie888

SashimiMimi said:


> Hi Ladies! Hope you're all well today. Welcom ljbbabyplease! I know what you mean about people telling you about "the glow." I got that same comment too at someone's baby shower. It's probably because I've slacked at the gym lately and am putting on weight! ;) Irregular cycles are tough. I've been fairly regular since going off the pill a year ago, but I wish doctors told young women going on the pill what it would be like to go off of it 10+ years later. It's like I've totally had to get reacquainted with my body... Not to mention my skin was really bad for a couple months after I stopped the pill. Worse than when I was a teen!
> 
> .

Hi Ladies! Hope you guys don't mind if I join in! It's nice to see a thread with some women closer in age. I'm 32 and DH is 39. I felt like most of the women on BnB are sooo much younger than us! It will be the 2nd/3rd cycle for us TTC. It's a bit off since last month I got the flu really bad during O week. 

SashimiMimi - I know what you mean about the pill and coming off it. I was on for almost 12 years too. I also experienced horrible breakouts after coming off the pill. I finally got a IPL laser treatment which has helped control the horribly painful outbursts. 



SashimiMimi said:


> P.S. I can imagine how overwhelming the march testers thread would have been!! I told my mom about this board and she asked why I wasn't chatting with people who had their BFPs right away for "positive encouragement" Lol!!! I was like no... I run into those people IRL every day. Finding people who are in the same boat as you IS a positive reminder that we all have our own TTC paths to follow.

Yeah - my mom has been bugging me to get pregnant for as long as I've been married now. After the first month TTC and getting a negative, I had to tell her to get her off my back. And I was explaining to her "the window period" of fertility. She just gave me a "hmph! who said so? in our day you just do it and get pregnant!" Well, okay. That's great. :/

Nice to "meet" all you ladies here! Baby dust all around!:dust:


----------



## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> SleepyOwl said:
> 
> 
> How's everyone doing?
> 
> Lauren - did your BBT ever go down?
> 
> All is well on my end. Waiting to O. I started temping this cycle and my temps are ALL over and super high the past two days, but I know I haven't O'd yet. No EWCM or ovulation pains. Regardless, been BD'ing juuuust to be safe. Not trying to risk missing it. I bought some OPK's and have no clue what I'm doing. I took a test yesterday and today and they were both negative. I'm kind of nervous because my hubby is going out of town on Wednesday night and won't be back til Sunday. We're going to BD Weds before he leaves, and as soon as we get back home on Sunday, but I'm really really scared that I'm going to O on like Saturday and totally miss my chance this month. I guess there's nothing I can really do; it's just been in the back of my mind for the past week or so. Fingers crossed this is my month!!
> 
> Hey Sleepy - My BBT did go down yesterday, finally. My period was kind of long, and my BBT went down after the first few heavy days.
> 
> When you say the OPKs were both negative do you mean two tests, or that neither line showed up? It may have been a bad test. What dpo are you at? You could totally BD on Weds and ovulate on Saturday and still get pregnant...I see charts on FF all the time where the woman ovulated 5 days after BD. Have you tried PreSeed?Click to expand...

Welcome Sweetie!! The more the merrier - its totally great having people around the same age on here. Great support system!

Lauren, glad your BBT's went down finally! Hopefully you can reset and get your BFP this month. As for the OPK's, I took two (one on Sunday and Monday) and only one line showed up (which I'm pretty sure is the control line, right?). So of course I'm like sitting in the bathroom with a pee cup and a stick, reading the directions and I'm pretty sure that means negative. I'm still trying to figure it out. The weird thing is yesterday I started getting ovulation pains, and I was only CD 8! I usually get EWCM and then have ovulation pains around CD 11-12. So I'm not sure what's going on, but it freaked me out so I BD'd last night. Weird thought, but I've been eating alot of soy because I gave up red meat for lent and my husband gave up meat altogether, so its easier to just cook one vegetarian meal. Do you all think that might cause me to O earlier? I was googling it yesterday and it seems like its a possibility. Not sure what to think!


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Ladies! Sorry I haven't replied in a few days, I was away over the weekend and it looks like I've missed a lot on this thread!
I'm going for my HSG test later this afternoon and I'm a nervous wreck! I'll be happy when it's over and I'm praying that the results turn out okay and I'm healthy. It looks like I might be having a job interview this week as well, so now I'm even more overwhelmed! When it rains, it pours.
Regarding the question earlier about my experience with acupuncture, I thought it was great. A good friend of mine is an acupuncturist and Chinese herbalist. I have seen her when I was having trouble with frequent UTIs and she really helped a lot. I did fertility acupuncture with her during my first 4 cycles of TTC and then she went on mat-leave, so we didn't continue into the 5th or 6th cycles. Obviously, I didn't get a BFP during that time, but my SIL who TTCed for 3 years ended up getting her BFP after about six months of fertility acupuncture.
Babyseed, I HOPE you are feeling better. I can relate to the stress you went through. There have been times where both OH and I were too emotionally exhausted to try during my window and that always resulted in me getting angry with lots of tears. I think what has helped is the two of us really communicating at the beginning of the cycle. I'll say okay, this is probably going to be the week I ovulate so we need to BD more during that time. When it's around the time I'm going to O, I try to stay as relaxed as possible in the presence of OH. I find if I stay calm, he stays calm and doesn't feel the pressure. It's so tough, especially when you are trying to time everything perfectly. I've said this before, but I will say it again... how on earth does ANYONE get pregnant by accident!?!
I will write more later, after the HSG! Wish me luck!!!


----------



## lauren26

sweetie888 said:


> SashimiMimi said:
> 
> 
> Hi Ladies! Hope you're all well today. Welcom ljbbabyplease! I know what you mean about people telling you about "the glow." I got that same comment too at someone's baby shower. It's probably because I've slacked at the gym lately and am putting on weight! ;) Irregular cycles are tough. I've been fairly regular since going off the pill a year ago, but I wish doctors told young women going on the pill what it would be like to go off of it 10+ years later. It's like I've totally had to get reacquainted with my body... Not to mention my skin was really bad for a couple months after I stopped the pill. Worse than when I was a teen!
> 
> .
> 
> Hi Ladies! Hope you guys don't mind if I join in! It's nice to see a thread with some women closer in age. I'm 32 and DH is 39. I felt like most of the women on BnB are sooo much younger than us! It will be the 2nd/3rd cycle for us TTC. It's a bit off since last month I got the flu really bad during O week.
> 
> SashimiMimi - I know what you mean about the pill and coming off it. I was on for almost 12 years too. I also experienced horrible breakouts after coming off the pill. I finally got a IPL laser treatment which has helped control the horribly painful outbursts.
> 
> 
> 
> SashimiMimi said:
> 
> 
> P.S. I can imagine how overwhelming the march testers thread would have been!! I told my mom about this board and she asked why I wasn't chatting with people who had their BFPs right away for "positive encouragement" Lol!!! I was like no... I run into those people IRL every day. Finding people who are in the same boat as you IS a positive reminder that we all have our own TTC paths to follow.Click to expand...
> 
> Yeah - my mom has been bugging me to get pregnant for as long as I've been married now. After the first month TTC and getting a negative, I had to tell her to get her off my back. And I was explaining to her "the window period" of fertility. She just gave me a "hmph! who said so? in our day you just do it and get pregnant!" Well, okay. That's great. :/
> 
> Nice to "meet" all you ladies here! Baby dust all around!:dust:Click to expand...

Haha, that's what my mother said the other day, as well. She's like, 'Just relax! That's how it happens! You just have fun and get pregnant.' My mom got pregnant in 3 cycles, so she doesn't understand.


----------



## lauren26

Sleepy - Hmmmmm, I know that soy can affect your hormones, so it's totally possible! What time of day are you using the OPK? You may want to do two per day since the ovulation window can be small--I've had days where I get a half-positive at 2pm (like that pic I posted) and then a strong positive at 8pm...I think BD-ing to be safe is a good idea ;) We're on the every-day-this-cycle regime--great for OH, that's for sure! Anyway, it's also possible to get a negative OPK but still be ovulating, if the tests aren't a good brand or if your pee is diluted etc etc. I just saw someone's chart this morning on FF that showed 8 negative OPKs during her supposed ovulation window/week, and she ended up pregnant. When in doubt, BD!

I'm glad my bbt went down, too. I guess it could have been high from residual hormones after mc (still pretty much just assuming that's what happened), and the residual hormones could also be why I got such a strong second line on my OPK...I did another the day after and then yesterday and they were progressively fainter. Fingers crossed that this is the month! I researched fertility diets and vitamins and have so many vits to take now--it's ridiculous. But worth a try! I'm also going to try acupuncture this month.

Other rad update: I got approved for my new insurance today!! Such a huge relief :)


----------



## lauren26

SashimiMimi said:


> Hi Ladies! Sorry I haven't replied in a few days, I was away over the weekend and it looks like I've missed a lot on this thread!
> I'm going for my HSG test later this afternoon and I'm a nervous wreck! I'll be happy when it's over and I'm praying that the results turn out okay and I'm healthy. It looks like I might be having a job interview this week as well, so now I'm even more overwhelmed! When it rains, it pours.
> Regarding the question earlier about my experience with acupuncture, I thought it was great. A good friend of mine is an acupuncturist and Chinese herbalist. I have seen her when I was having trouble with frequent UTIs and she really helped a lot. I did fertility acupuncture with her during my first 4 cycles of TTC and then she went on mat-leave, so we didn't continue into the 5th or 6th cycles. Obviously, I didn't get a BFP during that time, but my SIL who TTCed for 3 years ended up getting her BFP after about six months of fertility acupuncture.
> Babyseed, I HOPE you are feeling better. I can relate to the stress you went through. There have been times where both OH and I were too emotionally exhausted to try during my window and that always resulted in me getting angry with lots of tears. I think what has helped is the two of us really communicating at the beginning of the cycle. I'll say okay, this is probably going to be the week I ovulate so we need to BD more during that time. When it's around the time I'm going to O, I try to stay as relaxed as possible in the presence of OH. I find if I stay calm, he stays calm and doesn't feel the pressure. It's so tough, especially when you are trying to time everything perfectly. I've said this before, but I will say it again... how on earth does ANYONE get pregnant by accident!?!
> I will write more later, after the HSG! Wish me luck!!!

I am SO with you on feeling flabbergasted that anyone has a whoopsie in this department! 

I, too, have been on a bunch of job interviews lately. I left my old position to take 6-8 weeks off from work drama, but have been sending out resumes here and there. It is kind of overwhelming and disruptive, though I guess interviews are a good thing. I hope yours goes well!

I will be going to an acupuncture for fertility session tomorrow--feeling excited!

What is the hsg test? I am not well informed about all of this...Like I said, my OB is not into tests, so she hasn't really gone over too many with me. I live in Boulder, CO, and the docs here seem to err on the side of waiting and assuming all is well until proven otherwise. Pros and cons to that. Let us know how it goes!


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## SashimiMimi

Hey Lauren! The HSG test is where they run dye through your tubes and then xray them to see if you are blocked. I have heard it can be very painful, while others get mild cramping. I think I'm more terrified of the thought of being blocked as opposed to the pain. However, it's a standard test they do at fertility clinics. 
I also quit my job about a year ago, so I can relate to you there as well. The actual job was great, but the environment was toxic. I was constantly getting sick, my anxiety was through the roof and I had major insomnia. It was either the job or my health and I chose my health! 
I've been doing a lot of "what iffing" today. What if I find out something is wrong with me? How can I go to an interview with TTC stress in the back of my mind? So I'm trying really hard to relax and just take everything one step at a time. 
I have to say again, I'm really enjoying connecting with everyone here. I would have been happy if one person had responded to this thread, but now we have a great group of ladies here who are all in similiar situations! It's so great to connect with all of you and read your posts! 
More later!


----------



## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> Sleepy - Hmmmmm, I know that soy can affect your hormones, so it's totally possible! What time of day are you using the OPK? You may want to do two per day since the ovulation window can be small--I've had days where I get a half-positive at 2pm (like that pic I posted) and then a strong positive at 8pm...I think BD-ing to be safe is a good idea ;) We're on the every-day-this-cycle regime--great for OH, that's for sure! Anyway, it's also possible to get a negative OPK but still be ovulating, if the tests aren't a good brand or if your pee is diluted etc etc. I just saw someone's chart this morning on FF that showed 8 negative OPKs during her supposed ovulation window/week, and she ended up pregnant. When in doubt, BD!
> 
> I'm glad my bbt went down, too. I guess it could have been high from residual hormones after mc (still pretty much just assuming that's what happened), and the residual hormones could also be why I got such a strong second line on my OPK...I did another the day after and then yesterday and they were progressively fainter. Fingers crossed that this is the month! I researched fertility diets and vitamins and have so many vits to take now--it's ridiculous. But worth a try! I'm also going to try acupuncture this month.
> 
> Other rad update: I got approved for my new insurance today!! Such a huge relief :)

I've been testing around 4 or 5 pm. I'll pee something around lunch, then I'll try to not really drink anything and just hold it til at least 4, then I use the OPK. I heard too much water can dilute the results. I kind of hope I am ovulating early so that I can be at peace this weekend knowing that we at least tried at the right time. 

Happy your got approved for your insurance! One less thing to stress about!


----------



## SleepyOwl

SashimiMimi said:


> Hi Ladies! Sorry I haven't replied in a few days, I was away over the weekend and it looks like I've missed a lot on this thread!
> I'm going for my HSG test later this afternoon and I'm a nervous wreck! I'll be happy when it's over and I'm praying that the results turn out okay and I'm healthy. It looks like I might be having a job interview this week as well, so now I'm even more overwhelmed! When it rains, it pours.
> Regarding the question earlier about my experience with acupuncture, I thought it was great. A good friend of mine is an acupuncturist and Chinese herbalist. I have seen her when I was having trouble with frequent UTIs and she really helped a lot. I did fertility acupuncture with her during my first 4 cycles of TTC and then she went on mat-leave, so we didn't continue into the 5th or 6th cycles. Obviously, I didn't get a BFP during that time, but my SIL who TTCed for 3 years ended up getting her BFP after about six months of fertility acupuncture.
> Babyseed, I HOPE you are feeling better. I can relate to the stress you went through. There have been times where both OH and I were too emotionally exhausted to try during my window and that always resulted in me getting angry with lots of tears. I think what has helped is the two of us really communicating at the beginning of the cycle. I'll say okay, this is probably going to be the week I ovulate so we need to BD more during that time. When it's around the time I'm going to O, I try to stay as relaxed as possible in the presence of OH. I find if I stay calm, he stays calm and doesn't feel the pressure. It's so tough, especially when you are trying to time everything perfectly. I've said this before, but I will say it again... how on earth does ANYONE get pregnant by accident!?!
> I will write more later, after the HSG! Wish me luck!!!

Ahh, today's the day! I hope it's not too painful and that you get great results.


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## SashimiMimi

SleepyOwl, thank you for the positive thoughts. I survived the HSG (xray where they run dye through your tubes to see if they are blocked) and it wasn't so bad. It was definitely rather uncomfortable and there was a moment or two of sharp pain, but it was over very fast AND it looks like my tubes are clear. At least I can cross that off the list now. Phhheewww! So to those who may have this test coming up in the near future, don't believe the horror stories. It's fine!

On a side note, I have heard that the HSG test can "clear out" the tubes and slightly increase your chance of conceiving, so here's hoping. 

@Lauren26: The first few months I was using OPKs I found it really confusing. I started using the CB OPKs and I would never ever get that damn happy face! I started using those cheap strips given to my by my fertility acupuncturist and I would start to have a faint line around day 10 or 12 and it would gradually get darker and darker as the days went on. It was so hard to tell which day was actually considered positive. My acupuncturist said not to test first thing in the morning because the LH surge builds during to day. She said it is better to test between 10 am and 8 pm. Meanwhile, the instructions with the CB kit says to do it first thing in the morning... Last cycle, I decided to try out the CB OPK just for fun. I did it around 4 pm on day 14 of my cycle and FINALLY got the happy face to show up on the digital display! I think if anything, it is better to listen to your own body. The OPKs have helped me understand how my body works after being on the pill for 11 years and they help me gage when it is best to BD, but they turned me into a bit of a nut during our first 3 or 4 months of TTC. 
Good like with your acupuncture session tomorrow. I think you will enjoy it and I'm sure you will find your acupuncturist insightful and helpful. Please let us know how it goes!

@sweetie88: Hello and welcome! We are similiar in age... I'm turning 31 in a couple of months and DH is turning 38. Good luck with the TTC! BTW, isn't breaking out in your 30s annoying? I ended up going for microderm abrasion, as well as had an intervention from my dermatologist and that has really helped! I too have found there are a lot of young women posting on BnB, so it's nice to connect with those of us in our late 20s and early 30s!!


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## sweetie888

Good Luck with the HSG! Hopefully it's not too painful and I'm interested in how it goes! Best of luck!


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## lauren26

@Sashimi, 

I'm so glad to hear the test was relatively painless!! That's one that I'd been considering. And that's great news, too, that you're all clear! What else are you going to have done? The one test my OB thought I might want to do (because of spotting) was a pelvic ultrasound. I haven't done it (insurance lapse), but you have to drink 48 oz of water and hold it while they probe around--lol. It sounds very, very uncomfortable. But Maybe it's not as bad as it sounds. 

Yes I've had mixed results with OPKs. My box said to do them between 2 and 10pm...I ended up getting the best results around noon. I think your advice is smart--the body knows what the mind does not! 

I'm glad to hear you've enjoyed fertility acupuncture--are you still getting it?


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Lauren, I did the pelvic ultrasound a couple of weeks ago. I drank 32 oz and I had to pee so bad that I nearly keeled over when I got there. They said my bladder was too full and I had to empty half my bladder!!! Apparently, the 9 glasses of water deal is too much and usually 24 oz. is fine. They do an external ultrasound on the outside of your lower abdomen, then you completely empty your bladder and they do an internal ultrasound that is quick. They were able to tell from this that my ovaries look normal... I guess the next steps now are for OH to hurry up and do his SA, then a test to see how his S mixes with my EWCM. After that we will do a review with the doctor and see where we stand.

All of this is definitely time consuming, but I'm glad to get it out of the way now. I don't know how I would pull this off if I was in an office full time. My job interview is at the end of this week and I admit I'm daunted by the idea of going back to work full time. When I quit my nightmare job a year ago, the plan was to work from home and start a family. My MIL also passed away a year ago and I'm a little sad we don't have a baby on the way as we approach the one year mark of her passing.I guess life doesn't always go the way you plan it.

As for acupuncture, my practioner thought I should get my blood checked before we continue. So once I get all the results I will probably start up again. I'm all for it and personally like to use any resource thats available to me.

On a side note, does anyone else find all the scheduled BDing hard? I think OH feels the spontaneity and romance has been sucked out of it, but he tries to be a sport. People say "relax and have fun" but as we all know its sometimes impossible. Anyone have any advice on how to keep it fun? Im on day 10 of my cycle today so O should be coming up within the next 8-10 days. 

Also, I think I'm starting to get baby envy. I saw this young dad on the subway completely adoring is baby boy on the way to my test and I so long for that. At the grocery store on the weekend it was all young parents and their babies. I felt like interrogating everyone and ask how long they TTCed, what was their secret and why does everyone seem to have a baby but me! ;)


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## sweetie888

SashimiMimi said:


> All of this is definitely time consuming, but I'm glad to get it out of the way now. I don't know how I would pull this off if I was in an office full time. My job interview is at the end of this week and I admit I'm daunted by the idea of going back to work full time. When I quit my nightmare job a year ago, the plan was to work from home and start a family. My MIL also passed away a year ago and I'm a little sad we don't have a baby on the way as we approach the one year mark of her passing.I guess life doesn't always go the way you plan it.
> 
> On a side note, does anyone else find all the scheduled BDing hard? I think OH feels the spontaneity and romance has been sucked out of it, but he tries to be a sport. People say "relax and have fun" but as we all know its sometimes impossible. Anyone have any advice on how to keep it fun? Im on day 10 of my cycle today so O should be coming up within the next 8-10 days.
> 
> Also, I think I'm starting to get baby envy. I saw this young dad on the subway completely adoring is baby boy on the way to my test and I so long for that. At the grocery store on the weekend it was all young parents and their babies. I felt like interrogating everyone and ask how long they TTCed, what was their secret and why does everyone seem to have a baby but me! ;)


Glad you have the time off to do all the testing. I'm out of work right now too and should be at an all-time low-stress-point in my life. Everything that should help TTC. The "relax and have fun" advice really doesn't help the more I learn about the actual conception/OV/BD windows, etc. In fact, maybe that's made it a bit harder. But I like to be educated, prepared, and try to not waste time without having all the info. 

RE: Scheduling BDing. This is something I've learned to do since I've been w/DH. With his work schedule, we'd never BD unless we made the time and he knows about it beforehand. Dr. told me not to even tell DH when I was ovulating, "so [he] doesn't get pressured". I told her if that were the case, we'd NEVER hit the window! I do try to be flirty all week though. Sweet texts/emails/phone calls, sexy reminders, and dressing up ready to go when he gets home! :) I try to make every night a little different...

RE: Baby Envy... oh yeah. I get it a lot. We live in a very family-focused city and with me not working, I spend a lot of days shopping/lunching with all the "moms and babies" surrounding me. I've even asked some women how long it took them to get preggers. :blush: Luckily no one has seemed to think I was a weirdo. lol


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## Preciousone

Hello I would love to be your buddy too.... Been trying for 2-3 months just has my 2nd AF (MONDAY) Since having my implant removed mid January...Its seems i'm on a 25 days cycle and i'm determined to get it right this month using obv calenders etc any extra advice would be gladly received.

I'm 31 and i to want 2 children so taking the chilled approach is really not an option although i get told this all the time....

I'm here for anyone who wants to have a chat and hopefully we can all make each other feel that much better ;) Baby dust to you all and lets all hope for BFP in April ;)


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## lauren26

Preciousone said:


> Hello I would love to be your buddy too.... Been trying for 2-3 months just has my 2nd AF (MONDAY) Since having my implant removed mid January...Its seems i'm on a 25 days cycle and i'm determined to get it right this month using obv calenders etc any extra advice would be gladly received.
> 
> I'm 31 and i to want 2 children so taking the chilled approach is really not an option although i get told this all the time....
> 
> I'm here for anyone who wants to have a chat and hopefully we can all make each other feel that much better ;) Baby dust to you all and lets all hope for BFP in April ;)

My sister-in-law got preg right after her IUD was taked out--so hopefully that's encouraging!! How is the charting going so far? I'm on my 3rd cycle doing it (2.5 really..), and I think it's helping me feel like my body is normal, though it's pretty confusing, too.


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## Preciousone

Thats very encouraging thank you for that ;) keeps my spirits high 

I have to test around 27th onwards apparently OPK...so new to all this its mind boggling but i want this more than anything time is ticking ;(

Good Luck how long until you have to test fingers crossed for you x


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## lauren26

Sashimi (btw love that name), I am relieved to know that they're not doing the internal ultrasound while you're holding a full bladder! That really clarifies for me, lol. I think that's the first thing I'll get done when this insurance kicks in...did you have to go at any certain CD? I am hesitant to go after ovulating--I'm also sometimes scared to work out after OV, irrationally thinking that it will cause me to get an early period and ruin implantation. So weird the fears that have arisen since TTC.

My OH is always up for BD, though there are days when I am definitely not participating as energetically as he'd like (sorry TMI), but when he gets home from work at 11:30pm on my OV day and I'm already half asleep, it's tough! I think that, for us, having time during my infertile windows when we don't need to 'worry' about OV allows us to relax and enjoy BD without the B factor. I try to make it a point to really relax and enjoy myself during those windows (I try to relax and enjoy when I'm OV, too, but again the schedule is tough). I think changing it up helps, too, like sweetie888 said. 

I get awful baby envy. I get the weepy kind, where if I look at someone with their baby too long I start to tear up and look like a nut. I, too, have wanted to ask people how long they TTC--where I live there are SO many pregnant women and babies. 

I also started to get that fear that I'd instantly become my mother when I get pregnant...


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## SashimiMimi

Good morning, ladies! I checked in with my doctor this morning and it looks like I have some sort of abnormality with my thyroid, which could be the reason I haven't gotten a BFP by now. I'm going to start taking thyroid medication, and keep my fingers crossed that it helps. I don't know exactly how it affects pregnancy, but I plan on Googling it to death after this post!! ;) I'm a little concerned about the medication's side affects as it can cause anxiety and trouble sleeping. I previously battled an anxiety and sleep disorder and was on medication for it for a couple of years (in hindsight, I'm sure the majority of it was caused by my job), so I'm hoping that it doesnt affect me in that department. 

Welcome to the thread, Preciousone! I was on the pill for 11 years and it definitely took some time for my body to adjust. I think the best advice I can give with TTC is just listen to your body, try using OPKs but don't obsess about them too much like I did when I started TTC! ;) Your body will regulate itself. I don't think I ever had EWCM while on the pill so the first month I went off the pill I was like "What is this!!??" 

Sweetie888: Thanks for the BD advice! My OH has a high-stress job and tends to work long hours. Sometimes it's hard to time everything when exhaustion gets in the way. I'm just hoping that if I do end up going back to work in the near future, that my mental and physical health doesn't get destroyed by stress. I've definitely needed these past few months to get my stress level back in check!


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## SashimiMimi

lauren26 said:


> Sashimi (btw love that name), I am relieved to know that they're not doing the internal ultrasound while you're holding a full bladder! That really clarifies for me, lol. I think that's the first thing I'll get done when this insurance kicks in...did you have to go at any certain CD? I am hesitant to go after ovulating--I'm also sometimes scared to work out after OV, irrationally thinking that it will cause me to get an early period and ruin implantation. So weird the fears that have arisen since TTC.
> 
> My OH is always up for BD, though there are days when I am definitely not participating as energetically as he'd like (sorry TMI), but when he gets home from work at 11:30pm on my OV day and I'm already half asleep, it's tough! I think that, for us, having time during my infertile windows when we don't need to 'worry' about OV allows us to relax and enjoy BD without the B factor. I try to make it a point to really relax and enjoy myself during those windows (I try to relax and enjoy when I'm OV, too, but again the schedule is tough). I think changing it up helps, too, like sweetie888 said.
> 
> I get awful baby envy. I get the weepy kind, where if I look at someone with their baby too long I start to tear up and look like a nut. I, too, have wanted to ask people how long they TTC--where I live there are SO many pregnant women and babies.
> 
> I also started to get that fear that I'd instantly become my mother when I get pregnant...

Hey Lauren!! I think we always tend to write posts at the same time! LOL!! 
If you do get the ultrasound done, you have nothing to worry about. I don't think it matters what day you do it on of a basic look at your ovaries. I've done a few of them now as I am doing cycle monitor, which basically tells you when you are going to O. For cycle montioring, its an internal ultrasound so you don't require a full bladder. I did one on day 3, and another today. I have to go back tomorrow as well. The doctor recommending we start BDing tonight... I'm a little tired of being probed by things, but oh well. I'm actually feeling optimistic which I haven't felt it months!
I had fears about working out as well. I totally fell off the gym wagon back in the fall, but my doctor recommended I start working out again as it can actually help you conceive. So that is motivation enough for me!


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## lauren26

Sashimi - It does seem that way! I have a morning routine with the internet....:blush:

That is very comforting about the ultrasound. I will probably schedule it as soon as 4/1 comes around and my new insurance is effective. I am with you--when I had the alleged chemical last month my husband was surprised to notice how great of a mood I was in the next day. I was like, this means I can get pregnant! I feel like doing the tests would just give concrete evidence as to what's actually happening to there's less mystery and unknown. I tend to project the worst case scenario onto the unknown with TTC, lol. My husband also agreed to do SA if we weren't pg by April 1, so that will give us more info, too. It's great to hear about all of this! You're paving the way :)

Speaking of baby envy, I'm going to a bunch of events with my in-laws this weekend, which will allow me lots and lots of time to hold my little 5 week old nephew...dang! So awesome and so hard.


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren- Wow! 5 weeks old! He must be such a cute little bundle. I have a niece who is 3 and a nephew who is turning 2 in June. I've watched them grow from newborns into little kids and it is so amazing! Being the "Cool Aunt" definitely fills a bit of the baby void, but I'd really like to give them a cousin one of these days before they get really big! In a way, every month that I have a BFN I feel like I'm letting everyone down. It's ridiculous to feel that way, but when you're husband, parents and siblings are all rooting for your BFP, it's hard not to feel like you're disappointing loved ones. 
I was really, really irritated with baby envy on the weekend when I went to the grocery store on a Saturday (packed with parents and babies). As I was pushing my cart around, I started to feel that "everyone has a baby but me" syndrome. Then a little kid went out of control and dumped a bunch of flyers in my cart while screaming his head off. I probably looked visibly annoyed when I took the flyers back out of my cart and sighed, because the dad came over, apologized and then gave the papers back to his kid. I felt like all the parents around were looking at me and shaking their heads like I was that grumpy 30-year-old woman who hates kids. I wanted to be like "No! No! I'm just annoyed that I don't have my own kid!!" LOL! ;) 
Well, I will keep you posted on my fertility testing progress. I can't believe I feel actually relieved that there is an issue with my thyroid. I'm glad that they figured it out now and now way down the road. Up until today, I felt like my doctor thought I was neurotic and jumping the gun considering there are much older women seeing him, not to mention those with serious fertility problems. But now that there was an actual issue (albeit minor), it seemed like he was much more into my "case." I'm going back tomorrow for further cycle monitoring and then have my job interview right after. Eek!!! OH and I also just booked a 2 and a half week vacation in June (thought it would help us "relax and have fun" with the BD), so it's just so typical that this interview came up days after I booked a non-refundable trip!!


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## lauren26

Preciousone said:


> Thats very encouraging thank you for that ;) keeps my spirits high
> 
> I have to test around 27th onwards apparently OPK...so new to all this its mind boggling but i want this more than anything time is ticking ;(
> 
> Good Luck how long until you have to test fingers crossed for you x

Precious - Yes, don't worry! The body is resilient... The OPKs are easy and kind of fun. You can get them in bulk online for pretty cheap--it helped me feel like things were going OK in my body, and helps you time BD, which removes some of the pressure and urgency! 

I am only on CD 9, so I won't even ovulate for 5-6 more days, probably, and then won't be able to test for about 10-12 after that, so my test date will be between April 5-7 (and that would be early!). I am already doing OPKs for this cycle. I had a chemical and early mc last cycle, so I am unsure whether I will ovulate on time. Thus the OPKs. Also, I bought 40 in bulk for about $8, so I'm not worried about 'wasting' them... :)


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## lauren26

Sashimi - Wow!! You have a lot going on! That's really smart--I have been thinking about getting us on vaca this summer, too. Our anniversary is in winter, so we usually take a long weekend but it somehow doesn't feel like vacation if it's cold out! Sometimes relaxing is when the magic happens, too...

I KNOW I make that face at peoples' kids in the grocery store all the time--for the same reason! That and I see moms getting super annoyed with their kids and I always feel like, 'You can't be irritated!! You have kids! You have what I want!' Even though, obviously, I will get annoyed with my kids when they come. 

I have had baby envy with my sister-in-law for YEARS now. I was worried about the same thing with cousins and my nieces' ages. When OH and I were first married, my eldest niece constantly asked me when I was going to have a baby, why I didn't have one, and whether I was going to name 'her' Emily--lol! They are turning 7 and 9 this year, so I thought it was too late, but my brother- and sister-in-law decided to have another last year and voila! My little nephew will be around for my kids to play with (unless it takes me 10 years to get pg... lol). I sooo feel that 'Everybody has one but me' thing. Boulder has a happening farmer's market all summer and I srsly count like 30 pregnant women every weekend. Wearing sun hats.

I'm glad, too, that you were able to find out so quick that something's up! Did your doc tell you how the thyroid thing is affecting you? It seems like it would affect hormones, but I don't really know. I talked to my OB today for the first time in a while to ask her about the Chinese herbs (she said no, which is OK with me), and described the last cycle and what I thought was a chemical. She said that based on my description it absolutely was, and thought this was good news since it will rule out some testing that may have had to happen later, and that this way I know fertilization can occur, etc. etc. So I'm feeling good! I have heard that women can supposedly be more fertile after a chemical, but I'm skeptical...I am worried about the opposite. 

Anyway. Writing a novel again.


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## SashimiMimi

:) Keep the novel-length posts coming!! I have felt a huge sense of relief ever since I started connecting with you and the other ladies on this board. Fertility seems to be such a taboo topic, that many people don't want to discuss it in person. I think I'm even checking BnB now more than Facebook!
That's funny about your niece asking about "when" you would have a baby. My OH has three nephews who are all teenagers now. Their mom (my SIL) is caucasian, and their dad is Korean, so when OH and I got married the youngest nephew (who was 10 at the time) asked when we were going to have a baby because he would really like his first "full caucasian" cousin! It's kind of funny the things kids say.
I'm glad your doctor was able to confirm the chemical. It proves, like you said, that you CAN get pregnant, so it's just a matter of being patient now. Most doctors don't really agree with Chinese herbs or anything naturopathic, but herbs and acupuncture was the only thing that brought me relief from my constant UTIs after seeing specialist after specialist who had no clue what was causint them. I think a good balance of both the homeopathic route and traditional medicine is good. My brother's friends don't give their kids anything that isn't "natural" and one of the kids ended up in the hospital with a high fever over the weekend because they weren't keen on giving Tylenol to bring the temperature down. I say its all about balance.
Well, it's day 11 of my cyle so OH and I are going to start BDing tonight. It's nearly 8 pm here and he still isn't home from work. He wanted to be home early so we could fit the BDing in AND watch American Idol which is our guilty pleasure!! ;) Not sure if we will get both in tonight, but we'll see!


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## lauren26

Sashimi - Good! Glad to know I'm not annoyingly rambling :) I feel really supported, too! I truly have no one IRL who gets this. It's a blessing, for sure, to have the BnB community--thanks for starting this thread! I, too, spend more time on here than FB...

Yes, I'm so so relieved by what my doc said. And that I can try again right away, lol. I'm nervous that I'll ovulate late, which won't help me ovulate on time. Trying to relax about it. I think the acupuncture will help with that! I know what you mean about docs and not understanding...I muscle test everything (something my chiro used to do). I'm feeling that the herbs aren't right at this moment, but will probably do Vitex in the luteal phase and red clover tea throughout. I think that the acupuncture in and of itself has already started affecting me positively. It seems like I've lost 5 pounds in less than a week. 

My niece asked me, specifically, 'When is YOUR baby coming?' I think that when she was younger she assumed that since we were married that meant we had a baby on the way (she was born 6 months after her parents got married--not that she really knows that...) Kids are funny. They were soooooo excited for their baby brother to come and I can tell now that they're kind of over it already. That's funny what your nephew told you!! Kids are honest. I like that about them! There's no filter, lol. 

Did you guys get to watch Idol? And BD? Sounds like a good indoor date night ;) 

I am at CD9 and no sign of creamy CM or positive OPK yet. Mine kind of comes on quick...I bet I still have at least 3-4 days before EWCM. Fx it comes soon. I'm impatient!


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## countrygirl86

Sashimi I totally know what you mean about feeling like a disappointment but I feel like I'm disappointing my DH. We haven't told anyone we're trying but I had wanted to surprise my family and friends by being able to say we're pregnant especially after my SIL and BF announced theirs but nothing yet. 
It makes sense to be relieved that you know what's going on, I'm a little envious! Enjoy your vacation! We went away last month for 12 days and it definitely took the stress away.


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## SashimiMimi

@countrygirl Let's hope the hypothyroidism is the ONLY problem that's been preventing a BFP so far. I'm glad they caught it because it can make a big difference in getting pregnant and holding on to a pregnancy. 

I'm waiting to O so they can test my EWCM with OH's S and see if it's compatible. If it's not we will do an IUI. The information package they gave me on IUI lists a bunch of things to avoid after you have it done like hot baths, saunas, heavy lifting and stressful situations. I'm probably jumping way ahead of myself but I've been interviewing for a new job and starting a new job is always a really stressful experience. I tend to "What if" a lot, btw!

@Lauren: Yes, we did BD and watch Idol! LOL! It was a great indoor date night and we even made it to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour. I'm at CD 12 today and I think I may be starting to get EWCM but it's hard to tell because I still have some of the dye from the HSG coming out. (Sorry if that's TMI!) I'm slightly obsessed with EWCM. I never had any while on the pill for 11 years, so I remember the first month I went off of it and experienced EWCM. I immediately started googling it and became enlightened. It's amazing how uneducated I was about my body before TTC! How is the acupuncture going? I always enjoyed the sessions and found them really relaxing.


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## sweetie888

Super depressed this evening ladies. :( The :witch: showed up and I was out with a GF at dinner. Trying not to be too sad but kinda wanna cry. Came home and found out online that Hilary Duff just had her baby (Luca Cruz - kind of a cute name) and Reese Witherspoon is preggers with her 3rd baby. And that Jennifer Aniston is pregnant (they're always saying that, but I have to admit she does look more pregnant now).

I try not to be negative, but I can't help but wonder if all the years I told my parents and friends to stop nagging me about "becoming too old to get pregnant" was wrong. If I have any problem conceiving soon, I'll have to eat my words and hear a bunch of "I told you so"s. 

P.S. A very personal question _(obviously totally optional if you want to tell me)_, but have any of you ladies on here TTC #1 age 30 or over, have you ever had an abortion or M/C before? DH seems to think a lot of women by that age have had a baby/miscarriage/or an abortion. And since I've NEVER had any of them... maybe it's why it's harder for me to get pregnant sooner? I've never even had a "scare", even though I was never really consistent at taking my pills. 

_Sigh. Sorry if I'm a Debbie Downer for a moment. Give me a half a day and I'll be a Positive Peggy again!_


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## lauren26

@Sashimi - Glad you guys got your date! ;) I love EWCM, too, though I don't get a ton of it! I used to get more. I remember getting it a lot when I was younger and being like, what is this? Am I weird? Why do I have all of this clear rubbery slippery stuff? I had no idea. Someone said something about it to me about 6 years ago and I was still like, Huh? My chiro treated me for adrenal fatigue last year and I noticed two or three months ago that I was getting some EWCM, though not much, which made me realize that I had NOT been getting it for months and months. I assume because of the adrenal issue. Wow, I guess they have to use a lot of dye, right? Curious how the mix test will go! I never knew there were so many tests... :) I bet the thyroid meds will help you get your BFP! Hormones are all so delicate and interconnected--at least that's what it felt like to me after dealing with the adrenals. 

@Sweetie - I'm sorry she got you!! It's the worst feeling. I, too, made the grave error of looking up Google pics of pregnant celebs today, all glowing and 40. We went to see Wanderlust tonight and there was a preview for What to Expect When You're Expecting--apparently part of the premise is that all these ladies just get pregnant 'all of a sudden'--I was like, come on!! Now Hollywood's rubbing it in? Anyway, it did look funny. How long have you guys been TTC? I have several mid-30s friends who have never had any of the above. And then I have one who just turned 32 who got pregnant right away (she's one of those 'We weren't even trying!' types...annoying but also great for her). She had never had a mc or abortion. Don't lose hope!


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## SleepyOwl

Hey all! Been MIA for a few days. Is it weird that I sort of missed you all? So much to catch up on! 

Sashimi - I'm glad they were able to figure out the thyroid issue. Hopefully this will fix whatever issues have been going on and you can get your BFP! 

Sweetie - I'm 29 and have never had a "scare". Our first month TTC I had a chemical (back in Jan). 

I too have been totally depressed hearing/seeing all these ppl get pregnant. Plus I made the mistake of going to the mall today during work hours and EVERYONE was pregnant or had a baby. I felt like I was going to go crazy. I had to get out of there - didn't even buy what I went in for, but oh well. I know this month is a waste since OH is gone and I haven't ovulated yet per my temps. We BD'd before he left, but still. Feel kind of hopeless. Like a huge baby, I cried after he left yesterday. Not because I'm going to miss him (I mean, I will) but because I know it's just one more wasted opp. 

I made a serious mistake in telling a few people we were TTC and now they always ask. I totally regret that. One of those people is a family member, and whenever I talk to her, she insists I'm pregnant and that I didn't get my period and that it was spotting. It's SO weird. I mean I want to be pregnant obviously, but she has it set in her mind that I have no idea what I'm doing and that I am already. It's really strange, but it makes me feel terrible because I have to repeatedly say, No I got my period. Yes it was a full period. No it wasn't spotting. UGHH! Like I want to be reminded everyday that I'm not pregnant. 

Anyway, really really glad to have you girls to talk to...write to...whatever! I always feel better knowing I'm not alone.


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## SashimiMimi

@Sweetie: it's perfectly okay to feel sad. I know I have months where I feel totally down in the dumps when AF arrives. Especially if I have a longer cycle and I'm convinced it must be a BFP only to have AF show up. I'm only a year younger than you and am on cycle #9 of TTC. I have never had a miscarriage or abortion and I assure you neither of us are "too old" to be having a baby. I remember when I was 27 thinking I was too young to have a baby so I would never have even considered it till now.

I'm seeing an amazing fertility doctor and he has assured me that this is a great age to conceive. I have a good friend who is 39 and had baby #1 two years ago and #2 is on the way. (she never had any scares or previous pregnancies) so don't lose hope sweetie!!! It's going to happen! Also don't get too worked up about celebrity pregnancies. Who knows what their ttc stories are. I think Beyonce even announced she had a miscarriage before her baby was born. Now I on the other hand get upset about BFPs on Facebook... Constant updates of people I went to high school with showing off bumps, nurseries, you name it! But again, who knows if they struggled as well. Everyone has a story and your time will come!!


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## SashimiMimi

Oh and Lauren... I really do hope the thyroid mess help. I always felt in my gut something was off with my hormones, so I really hope it gets us that bfp. Also no mix test today, I guess I am still a day or two away from O?? My fertility clinic is open on the weekends so maybe we will have to do it then. I'm eager to see how it goes as well!!

Sleepy: that's nuts about the relative who insists you are pregnant! I have told a few people we are taking a break from TTC just to get them to stop asking. I had a friend loudly ask at a Xmas party if I would be drinking or not and was I pregnant. I was like ummm... No bfp yet !! She proceeded to tell me that I was doing it wrong and I need to try every other day. Sigh!! :)


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## countrygirl86

That must be tough having people asking you about TTC! It's amazing how people don't realize it's kind of a big deal and just continue to ask and almost rub in it! I really struggle with wanting to tell someone but I think we're going to wait until we at least know if we are fertile... *sigh* Hopefully ppl will leave you alone Sashimi now that you've said you are having a break. And hopefully you'll get a BFP in the meantime!


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## lauren26

Wow!! You ladies have a lot of people asking you really personal questions about TTC! I told our family when we started, thinking it would happen right away (obviously it didn't). They asked if I was pregnant 'yet' for about 3 months, then stopped. At the time I took it as them not really caring whether we have kids or not, but now I think they're just trying to be polite. My friends don't really ask because they're all against it, lol (have to laugh or else I'll cry!), with the exception of my BF, who is super curious, supportive, great at listening about this stuff. The one thing that felt really triggering to me recently was my mom coming to visit (last week) and saying 'I just had a feeling, I just KNEW you'd be pregnant when I came up to see you.' I don't know if it was really mother's intuition because I'd just had the chemical, but I had to, in front of OH and my stepfather, say 'Nope, got my period full force. I have it right now. No, not pregnant'...Anyway, I can only imagine that having this type of thing happen loudly and publicly would make the TTC process all the more emotional and difficult! Makes me even more grateful for our little community :) While I don't have people constantly asking, the lack of care or interest that some of my friends show is disheartening. 

The thing that got me early on when we announced we were TTC was people asking things like, 'Are you really ready to make such a big sacrifice?', 'Are you going to get rid of your cats?', and 'Can you afford kids? They're so expensive!' With all of this I felt like, yes, yes, and yes, and this is NONE of your business!! The social interactions I've had around TTC remind me of when we told people we were engaged--suddenly everyone had an opinion about this very personal and intimate thing we were doing, and they felt they needed to share it! LOL. I think that people are just trying to be helpful. That said, I'm so glad we can relate to each other on here!!


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## SashimiMimi

I think unless people struggle with TTC, they don't know the etiquette around the topic. I recently met up with a former employer of mine for coffee and when she saw me for the first time in a couple of years she said "wow! I thought you would be out to here by now." while making baby bump motions with her hands. My response: "yeah? Me too!" 
Lauren, I agree that ttc is similar to wedding planning in regards to everyone having to add their two cents. We had a non-traditional wedding with no receiving line and some people were like "how could you NOT have a receiving line!!??" Now we get a lot of "when are you and OH going to have kids?" and it's hard for me not to say "was wondering that myself." my neighbor keeps telling me that she has had a couple dreams recently that I had twins and this was before I told her we were trying. 

I just walked by a magazine rack and saw very pregnant Jessica Simpson on the cover of Elle. I had a moment of feeling annoyed! LOL But writing back and forth with you ladies is really helping me chill out!! So thank you to all of you for keeping this conversation going!!!

Well, we are doing the mix test tomorrow. So if everything "jives" we will BD the natural way. If it doesn't, then we will do an IUI!! 

I was wondering if anyone else here has changed their baby "wishes" since TTC? For example, before I started TTC I always wanted a girl and I wanted her bday to be in the spring or summer. Like when we started TTC 9 months ago, had we succeeded the first time the baby would have been born next month in april. Now I just want a healthy baby girl or boy and I don't have an opinion on what time of year he or she is born!! When we eventually do get a bfp I will really and truly appreciate it!


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## countrygirl86

I agree that people often don't understand and therefore aren't usually sensitive to TTC struggles. That's definitely what makes all of you more important! Good luck with the mix test Sashimi.

I used to want similar to you, a girl in the early spring but now that we've started TTC I'm happy with boy or girl whenever! Fx for everyone for a BFP which I think is babies in Winter?!?!


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## sweetie888

lauren26 said:


> @Sweetie - I'm sorry she got you!! It's the worst feeling. I, too, made the grave error of looking up Google pics of pregnant celebs today, all glowing and 40. We went to see Wanderlust tonight and there was a preview for What to Expect When You're Expecting--apparently part of the premise is that all these ladies just get pregnant 'all of a sudden'--I was like, come on!! Now Hollywood's rubbing it in? Anyway, it did look funny. How long have you guys been TTC? I have several mid-30s friends who have never had any of the above. And then I have one who just turned 32 who got pregnant right away (she's one of those 'We weren't even trying!' types...annoying but also great for her). She had never had a mc or abortion. Don't lose hope!

THANKS for everyone's kind words and answers! I know I'm actually not "too old" yet. I'm feeling a little bit better today, and glad I have Coachella to look forward to next month. I told DH I wanted to go before we have kids and it was probably our last year/chance to do it! At least I won't be pregnant and camping in the desert. That's my way of seeing it half-full. 

F&F are so funny when it comes to TTC right? It swings from one side of the pendulum to the other. The same people that kept stressing our ages and how hard it would be to get pregnant the older we got, would now be the ones who say "don't worry about it. have fun. do everything you want to do before having kids." I swear people just need to say something for the sake of saying something. :)


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## sweetie888

On a side note, I think being a little sad last night and asking DH again to do a SA helped him finally say OK! I will also ask my doc if I can start taking some tests. What is the first test I should ask for? I'm sooo clueless about that stuff!


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## lauren26

Christmas babies!! If we all get our BFPs this month we'll have Christmas babies!! That's the thing I always wanted to avoid, but at this point it's like, whenever is GREAT. I wanted a girl, too, at first and didn't want her born at the end of summer. Now I don't care! I'm equally interested in having a boy at this point--maybe because our new nephew is a boy, and the first boy in his little family. I like picking out girls' names more--that's probably the main reason I was wanting a girl, which is a little silly now that I'm writing it out. 

My OH really wants twins, LOL. I'm like, let's go easy on these hips the first time around! I think it's genetic, though, and I have a set or two in my family...So you never know! 

Yes, I think talking about TTC is taboo and there isn't much etiquette around it. It gives a sense (maybe false sense?) of intimacy when people talk about it, and maybe that invites them to share their opinions. 

Excited to hear how your test goes, Sashimi! I should be O in a few days, though my OPKs aren't even close to positive yet.


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## SashimiMimi

I always thought it would be a rip off to have your birthday so close to the holidays, but I figure when ever a BFP is meant to happen there is no stopping it. I also used to want to avoid September because that is back-to-school time, which is never fun for kids!

I just got offered the job I interviewed for yesterday, so it looks like its back the grind full time for me in a couple of weeks. It might be good for me to have something else to focus on other than TTC, although I do wish the BFP had happened while I was off for the most part and stress was at an all time low. 

Sweetie: hope you are feeling better. That's amazing about Coachella!!!!! I saw the lineup for last year and it looks amazing!! 

Have a great weekend ladies!!


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## JustKeepSwimN

Hi...I think I'm in a similar boat. I'm 32 and TTC #1 on cycle 10.
I'm so new to the idea on this forum idea that I have to look up most of the abbreviations.

BUT...there really isn't anyone who knows about our TTC attempts...so...I thought it might be a good idea to find some online support :o)


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## SashimiMimi

JustKeepSwimN said:


> Hi...I think I'm in a similar boat. I'm 32 and TTC #1 on cycle 10.
> I'm so new to the idea on this forum idea that I have to look up most of the abbreviations.
> 
> BUT...there really isn't anyone who knows about our TTC attempts...so...I thought it might be a good idea to find some online support :o)

Hi JustKeep!!! I'm newish to these boards as well and often have to Google abbreviation meanings. I found this site helpful in learning the lingo: https://www.tryingtoconceive.com/abbrevs.htm

As I mention in almost every post, chatting with these ladies helps a lot! Before I first posted on here I was at an all time low with frustration. I feel less isolated knowing there are other women out there around our age who have been trying for a few months. It's a great place to vent, ask questions or just chat!!


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## sweetie888

JustKeepSwimN said:


> Hi...I think I'm in a similar boat. I'm 32 and TTC #1 on cycle 10.
> I'm so new to the idea on this forum idea that I have to look up most of the abbreviations.
> 
> BUT...there really isn't anyone who knows about our TTC attempts...so...I thought it might be a good idea to find some online support :o)

Hi and Welcome JKS! I love the handle btw! Just keep swimming!
We're the same age! The forum really IS the best place to talk about TTC without letting everyone know in your real life! :)


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Ladies!! Well, we just did the mix test and DH's sperm sample was great. He has 180 million swimmers, so he felt proud of that. But my EWCM is blocking any of them from getting through!! So we are now waiting to do an IUI. Doctor thinks IUI is the way we will have to TTC from here on out. I admit part of me feels kind of deflated... I love my EWCM and think its neat! At least there are tests that show if it's blocking, so that's a good thing.


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## sweetie888

SashimiMimi said:


> Hi Ladies!! Well, we just did the mix test and DH's sperm sample was great. He has 180 million swimmers, so he felt proud of that. But my EWCM is blocking any of them from getting through!! So we are now waiting to do an IUI. Doctor thinks IUI is the way we will have to TTC from here on out. I admit part of me feels kind of deflated... I love my EWCM and think its neat! At least there are tests that show if it's blocking, so that's a good thing.


How did they test your EWCM and how is it blocking the sperm? Too thick? Not thick enough? Did they have to test for that during your O period? At least you get to know what's going on instead of wasting a whole year's worth of time. Good luck!


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## lauren26

Wow, Sashimi, I bet you're super glad you've done all of these tests!! I'm also curious to know how and why the EWCM is blocking the sperm. Now you guys know what you have to do, though, which is awesome!

I was at my father-in-law's 60th birthday celebration last night. My mother-in-law put together an amazing video and photo slide show etc etc of his life--it was so HARDDDDD for me to see my nieces and nephews in the photos but no kids from us, and to know that my FIL is now 60 and MIL is now mid-50's and we don't have grandkids for them yet! And I now retract my last post where I said no one asks me about it, LOL--like 15 people asked me last night. Which was kind of nice, actually (maybe that's the wine remembering...). The worst part was when one of the women from church who is a mutual friend of mine and my SIL's said to me, 'Are you having kids yet?? I guess you don't need to because your SIL is doing great at it! She's already got 3 kids, so it really doesn't matter if you guys have them.' I was like, OUCH. I know she didn't mean anything by it, but it was rough. So, so many people brought it up and everyone was like, 'Oh, you're young, it'll happen.' Again, nicely intentioned but it was still hard to see my SIL and BIL with their three gorgeous children getting fawned over. Sorry, I'm throwing a mini pity party...It was a rough night! Fun, too, though, and I do love my nieces and nephew, so it's always amazing to be with them.

Anyway, I hope everyone's having a great weekend!


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## SashimiMimi

Hey Sweetie! So they took a drop of DH's sperm and a drop of my EWCM and put it on a microscope that was hooked up to a TV screen. Yes, this test (called Cervical Insemination or C.I.) has to be done during ovulation. I have been going for cycle monitoring every day this week and having blood tests and ultrasounds done to see when the surge was coming.

We could see on the TV screen that the sperm was swimming toward the EWCM very well since DH has such a high count. Then we could see that it was being blocked by my EWCM, basicslly giving up and turning around!! So yes, it would be safe to say my EWCM is probably too thick to let anything through. What I didn't ask is if this is the chemistry with just DH and I? Would someone else's sperm be able to get through? Or am I just one giant sperm blocker!?!? :(

We could see a few of the sperm were getting through in certain areas, but not enough to really make anything happen. Now the doctor doesn't know if this has been the case every month, but suspects its part of the reason we haven't gotten our BFP!! We are doing another IUI tomorrow and will likely continue TTC this way. (kind of takes the romance out of it, but I'm game!)

As for the IUI, they take DH's sample and do something called a sperm wash to basically isolate the swimmers. Then they injected it directly into the uterus so it bypasses the EWCM having to carry it up to where it's supposed to be . 

I am completely blown away by the technology at this fertility clinic. The entire facility looks more like a spa than a medical clinic, so it's a very relaxing environment. While I was kind of sad and deflated that we didn't get the green light to go home and BD naturally, I'm glad these solutions are available in this day and age. While I was having the IUI done, I had a casually conversation with the doctor about tennis. Lol!! I was thinking if I do get a BFP this month, it would be a funny conception story... Unlike those who go on a romantic vacation and conceive!! Well at this point I will take a bfp any way I can!!

Sorry for the long post... And for using the word "sperm" so many times!!! Not sure if the acronym is just S or what. DH was very amused and sheepish about having the give the sample!! He giggled a lot all morning, especially when they offered him magazines and videos (which were apparently very cheesy!!!) to assist with the process!!!! ;) 

Hope you are all having a great weekend. How is everyone else doing in their cycles this month?


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## SashimiMimi

lauren26 said:


> Wow, Sashimi, I bet you're super glad you've done all of these tests!! I'm also curious to know how and why the EWCM is blocking the sperm. Now you guys know what you have to do, though, which is awesome!
> 
> I was at my father-in-law's 60th birthday celebration last night. My mother-in-law put together an amazing video and photo slide show etc etc of his life--it was so HARDDDDD for me to see my nieces and nephews in the photos but no kids from us, and to know that my FIL is now 60 and MIL is now mid-50's and we don't have grandkids for them yet! And I now retract my last post where I said no one asks me about it, LOL--like 15 people asked me last night. Which was kind of nice, actually (maybe that's the wine remembering...). The worst part was when one of the women from church who is a mutual friend of mine and my SIL's said to me, 'Are you having kids yet?? I guess you don't need to because your SIL is doing great at it! She's already got 3 kids, so it really doesn't matter if you guys have them.' I was like, OUCH. I know she didn't mean anything by it, but it was rough. So, so many people brought it up and everyone was like, 'Oh, you're young, it'll happen.' Again, nicely intentioned but it was still hard to see my SIL and BIL with their three gorgeous children getting fawned over. Sorry, I'm throwing a mini pity party...It was a rough night! Fun, too, though, and I do love my nieces and nephew, so it's always amazing to be with them.
> 
> Anyway, I hope everyone's having a great weekend!

Lauren!! Here we go posting at the same time again!!!!!!!! See my looooong post above regarding the test and IUI today. So yes, EWCM is probably too thick or maybe it's just the chemistry with DH. I will ask tomorrow and get answers!

Sorry about your experience at the party. I'm so annoyed at the SIL comment about her being good at having all the kids so you don't have to worry. Sheesh!!! We are having friends over in a couple of weeks who have told us we are doing TTC wrong, loudly ask if I will be drinking or not, the ones I mentioned previous posts. So I have half a good mind to respond, "Not yet, I have a thyroid problem and my cervical mucus is not letting DH's sperm through... But we basically had artificial insemination done, we we'll see." I bet if I give an honest frank answer like that they will stop asking. 

Lauren, those comments last night must have been hard considering you just had a chemical. Even though chemicals happen very early, you still have the right to be sad and grieve. I really admire your ability to shrug off the silly comments and prodding about when you will have kids with such a great sense of humor!! Hugs!!!!


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## lauren26

Sashimi - Thanks for the support!! It means a lot :) One of my favorite mottos, borrowed from a spiritual teacher, is 'You have to laugh or else you'll cry.' I try not to get hung up on this stuff, but it is hard. Really and truly. It's hard to see another family member treated with what seems like more value or respect because they have kids. Anyways, I think it did help that most of the people who asked and found out we are TTC seemed really excited. The exception is that one lady with the SIL comment....She's strange and I don't know her that well--I really shouldn't take it personally. It was the end of the night, too, and I was exhausted. That heightened it. But you're right--I do totally have a right to me feelings about all of this. I noticed so many times over the weekend, seeing my in-laws and nieces and nephews etc, that I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. I am just trying to allow whatever feelings are there to come up. I think it's helping....?

I hear you--the IUI could seem less romantic. Really, though, maybe it will take the pressure of BDing so it's just sex and just enjoyable! One of the family members I saw this weekend did IVF with her son and was really into it. She was really happy with the process and it took the first time (she had tried through other methods before--all of them 'artificial'--I still don't like that word in this context because it's a miracle no matter what!)

I'll keep you ladies posted...I think I've almost got my +OPK, and had a little EWCM today...I was beginning to think I wouldn't O this month after the chemical. I was just getting SUCH faint OPKs. I just did this one at 8 pm and it's pretty dark. It seems like I have to do them at a different time every month. I guess that makes sense!

Hope everyone had a great weekend.


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## lauren26

PS Ladies, need your opinion!! After last month's CP I decided to go SUPER healthy/strict on the 'fertility diet' this month...veggies, whole grains, whole milk and butter, proteins, no sugar, minimal caffeine and alcohol. Well, as luck would have it, since Thursday was my OH's 30th bday, Friday was my FIL's 60th, and there was family in town, I ate some total garbage this weekend. I had pizza at midnight, a few glasses of red wine, sweets, fried food, greasy Mexican food, and almost no veggies...Yikes! Almost wanting to delete that now that I've written it out and am actually seeing what I ate, lol. It looks like I'm about to O, but my diet was bad last month and I had the CP.....the bad diet and the CP probably weren't mutually exclusive, but still. It worries me. Any thoughts?


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren, I wouldn't worry about what you were eating. Think of all the people who conceive on New Year's Eve or some occaision like that where there is lots of drinking and party food. You looked after your body all month, a couple nights of having fun food and drinks won't hurt, I'm sure of it. If anything, just the fact that you had a great time with friends and family will probably help your body relax so it can do it's thing. Don't worry! Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

As for me, I'm totally emotionally exhausted. The beginning of this week feels like a lifetime ago. Monday I got called for the job interview, Tuesday had the HSG, did cycle monitoring every day from Wednesday until today, Thursday had the interview, Friday got the job offer, Saturday and today we did two rounds of IUI!! Definitely an exciting week, but I feel absolutely miserable tonight. Probably because I've had little sleep with all the early morning doctor's appointments. I'm a totaly worry wart and I keep wondering how I will continue to do IUIs at the fertility clinic if I'm at a new job, etc., I tend to "what if" about things that may or may not happen. My mom says things seem to happen all at once for me... we booked our Hawaii trip, I'm starting a new job, so she feels the BFP must be around the corner! I hope she is right!

By the way, I asked the doctor about why my CM is blocking OH's sperm. I read about the term "hostile cervical mucus" and the doc says he doesn't like that term. He said it could just be the way OH's sperm reacts to my CM, as in a chemistry thing, it could be that it's too thick, there is no way of knowing for sure and that's why IUI is so good because it just bypasses CM completely. (On a side note, I explained all of this to my mother and she said she had never even heard of CM, but Jennifer Anniston once said "cervical mucus" in a movie and she thought she was just being vulgar!) That actually made me LOL!!

So the next steps for me is I have to take natural progesterone suposetories twice a day. Now sorry if this is TMI, but I have to do it rectally or vaginally. Sounds like most people opt for the latter, but I was warned that it will be messy and I need to wear panty liners. (This thing is a tiny pellet! How on earth is it going to create this much leakage!?) Well, if it helps me get my BFP, it will be worth it. Of all 9 cycles that we have been TTC, this will be the longest 2WW for sure!!!


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## SleepyOwl

Ahh I missed so much while I was gone!! 

JustKeepSwimN: Welcome!! So nice to have someone else in the same boat here so we can all share/vent/complain/laugh/cry together :)

Sashimi: So glad you are having all these tests done! It sounds like you and DH are really getting somewhere. How did the IUI go? Was it painful? How did DH react to all of it - was he alright with it? 

Lauren: I wouldn't worry too much about what you ate. I don't think one weekend will make a difference. I agree with Sashimi - hopefully it means you were just able to let loose and relax and that this will be your month!

As for me, I went on a bachelorette party this weekend and partied my little heart out. I couldn't help but think that I was ovulating the whole time I was there and my hubs was 3000 miles away :( I forgot my thermometer so I couldn't temp for 3 days - not very good planning on my part. The good thing is when DH and I got home last night, I had a TON of EWCM. Sorry if TMI, but I felt like I needed a pantyliner. I have never had that before. So I decided to use an OPK just to see and it was almost positive! The line was a little bit lighter than the control, so we BD'd. Then I just took another one and it was totally positive! I couldn't even believe it. So as soon as he gets back from work, I'm going to make this happen. I still have a lot of EWCM today so I'm really happy that I didn't miss my chance this month. 

Question about OPKS: when you get a positive, how far away does it mean that ovulation is? 12, 24, 48 hours? I had ovulation pains all weekend, or so I thought, but none yesterday or today. Is that normal for that to happen and still have a positive OPK? It makes me wonder about the past 2 months - have I been totally off with my ovulation and that's why I haven't gotten my BFP?


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Sleepy! Sounds like you had fun at the bachelorette! OPKs are confusing, aren't they? When I was using the cheap strips when the line gets gradually darker and darker day by day, I could never tell what was actually considered positive. Only once have I ever gotten a happy face on the CB digital OPK, but the instructions say to BD "any time over the next two days." So in the past, I had just BDed the day of the positive and the next day... This cycle was the first time I have ever had it confirmed by medical science that I ovulated. Yesterday was day 15 of my cyle and the ultrasounds and bloodwork showed my surge was peaking and doctor believed the egg would have been released sometime yesterday late afternoon or evening. Therefore, the timing with the IUI was perfect, so... fingers crossed.

As for the actual experience with IUI, its a breeze. WAY easier than the HSG, and a walk in the park compared to a basic pap test. It's over and done with pretty quickly and painlessly. DH was completely fine and supportive about the whole IUI process. He was very giggley and sheepish about having to provide a "sample" and his only complaint was that the videos provided in the sample rooms were cheesy and terrible! We had a good laugh about that. 

Last night I was a major grump and feel bad about it today because he was trying to be helpful and supportive. I just felt emotionally exhausted after the entire process, but do feel better today. So for me the 2ww officially begins!


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## countrygirl86

Best of luck and :dust: Sashimi, sounds like they got the timing spot on so fx for you! It's good to hear IUI is relatively painless, the 2ww is probably going to be more stressful!


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## lauren26

@Sashimi - Oh my goodness!! I'm sorry you've had to go through sooooo much recently, but it all sounds like great stuff! Congrats on the new job :) My changes tend to come in great waves like that, too, with many things happening at once. This year feels like it will really bring it, change-wise. It sounds like you've got a great chance at getting your BFP this cycle! 

How long does the IUI take? I'm wondering if maybe you can go to the clinic before or after work, if you work 9-5. There's also lunch breaks, if you're not having to drive a long way to the clinic. I'm sure you will have a way to get to where you need to be. Plus, the IUI only happens a couple of days a month, right? 

Thanks for the support--I think I was feeling exhausted, too, and run down by the fun and terrible food. Being tired tends to exacerbate any emotion for me--I tend to cry a lot when I'm tired. My OH and I, as a rule, never get into serious conversations or make decisions late at night, like before bed, because inevitably it ALWAYS leads to a fight and/or me crying. Lol. On the bright side, when everything happens at once you can sort of process and deal with it in one fell swoop. And that Hawaii trip sounds wonderful! I've never been. Are you guys going for vacation, or business? 

So it sounds like you still have a normal TWW with IUI, right? The only difference (besides the lack of BDing) is that they are depositing the sperm into your uterus, bypassing the cervix, correct? Whereas IVF is implanting a fertilized egg? I had no idea there were so, so many ways that clinics can assist in conception until reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility a couple months ago. I still don't know what all of the terms mean and what all of the procedures entail! I've got my fx for you, too :) I keep holding in mind that this is our month.


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## lauren26

Sleepy - Sounds like a fun weekend!! And that's PERFECT timing with your OH and EWCM! I was worried all weekend, too, because I brought my cheap strips to my MIL's house and not my cup, so I peed on the strips but it ruined them (since you're supposed to carefully dip for 3 seconds only, I guess). I wasn't getting any strength on the test line at all, and was worried I would O late. The entire weekend, though, I had O pains. I got them first on the right side, then both, then the left yesterday, pretty painful, actually. Totally bearable, but more extreme for O pains than I've had. Today I've barely had a pinch, but my OPK was super duper positive, and I had a surge of EWCM (not super stretchy but abundant...sort of like PreSeed texture. Sorry if TMI!--I don't usually have a big patch, either, just a spurt or so, lol). I'm guessing that means I'm ovulating today or tomorrow. My temps will tell. The OPKs say to BD within 24-48 hours, but the window is different for everyone. Honestly, if I get a strong + and it's coupled with EWCM, I try to BD as soon as possible so as not to miss the window. Some women have a 6 hour window only, and I've heard that most actually have about 6-12hrs, vs. the 24-48 on the test box. The thing is that if you have enough EWCM the sperm will stay alive for several days, so it doesn't matter if you BD two days ahead of time, but if you don't typically have several days of EWCM it's good to try to BD as close as you can to O-ing. The key, I guess, is to have sperm waiting when the egg comes out, not to try to catch the egg after it's released. My technique this month has been to BD every single day through O and fertile period, lol. Great for OH, starting to wear on me a little...sorry if that's TMI, too!

Anyway, it sounds like you've got a good shot this month!! Also, I keep hearing that it's easier to get pregnant when your immune system is down just a bit, in case your body happens to be one that sees the fertilized egg as foreign and tries to attack it. That's not typical, but I see a lot of charts where women get pregnant while they have a cold. Hopefully the partying knocked your immune system down a peg and it will help you get your BFP!


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks Country and Lauren. I feel a million times better today after reading all of your posts!

Yup, it definitely is an exciting time right now with so much going on in such a short span of time. Life always happens like that though, doesn't it? When it rains, it pours! Lauren you are so right about the IUI, it really is only technically two days out of a month. I will 
to go in for cycle monitoring on day 3 and then maybe the 3 or 4 days up to O. My clinic opens at 7 a.m. and is a first come, first serve basis. My doctor is usually the first one in at 8, so if all goes well I could probably be out of there by 8:30. I decided I am not going to "what if" about it. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for a BFP this cycle and just cross any future IUI bridges when I come to it. Who knows, maybe I will even O on a weekend again!

Yes, it is a normal 2ww with the IUI. Basically, they do a "sperm wash" to isolate or separate the sperm from the white stuff. They take the isolated sperm and inject it directly into you so it bypasses the CM. The only thing with the washing process is that it takes an hour, so that is really the only thing that takes a long time. Actual IUI was under 5 minutes. And you are right about IVF, that is where they remove the egg, etc., and would be a last resort for us. 

Hawaii is purely for pleasure. OH is from Vancouver, so we will stop there first for a few days and then head to Hawaii as we will already be halfway there. OH works long hours and a stressful job, so we thought it would be great to get away and relax. Also good for BDing right? 

I like your late night rule! We also make sure to never go to bed mad, but last night I was such a basketcase! Thankfully, I feel better today!


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi - Glad the process was relatively easy. What a relief for you I'm sure!! I can only imagine that all these tests you've gone through the past couple weeks have really worn on you. At least now you've had the IUI and you can just wait - if only the wait was the easy part lol!

Lauren - What CD are you? Generally, I'm confused about how dark the line has to be compared to the control. Yesterday when I did it, I swore it was positive. Then today I realized the second line was SO dark, especially compared to yesterdays. I guess I didn't really have a point of reference. Either way, I'll BD soon just to be safe. 

Regardless, I hope DH is up for some loving. Usually he's not really into it two days in a row, but I need to make it work today!


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## SashimiMimi

Sleepy, I have a feeling this 2ww is going to drag on and on. My mom always had this saying like "Everything to gain and nothing to lose" so I am going to keep that in mind when I go for the PG test. What ever is meant to be, is meant to be.

I wanted to mention earlier that I never usually feel ovulation pain. Is that weird? I definitely get all the other symptoms like EWCM, want to BD a lot more during that time, etc. Only the first month I was off the pill did I feel the O pain, like cramps, and then last month I felt a twinge for a few minutes on my left side. Could that have been O pain? Maybe it is so mild that I am just not aware of it. However, I wondered if it is unusual not to feel it?

Good luck with the BDing... It's so funny, OH used to complain we never BDed enough, and now since we have been trying I can tell he gets a little worn out (as do I) after 4 or 5 days of trying in a row. It's tough! Especially when you have had a really long day. Some of our friends would say "Oh just BD every other day during your entire cycle and you will get a BFP." Every month OH would say we should try this (as I don't think he entire understand the window we have each month), but honestly neither of us could keep up. Doing the IUI this month definitely put me through the emotional ringer, but physically it was easy.

Good luck to everyone. If even one of us gets a BFP this cycle I will be so happy! If not, we all keep on trying!


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## lauren26

Sleepy - I am CD 14, right at my normal window for O. I felt like I had a positive yesterday, but today my line was definitely darker again. Also, the test I did was at 8pm last night and I got the darker line test at 1pm today. Since I have the cheapos I plan to do a few a day to see if I can actually figure out how long I get the +'s...I don't know what that will tell me, lol, but somehow might help me pinpoint O even more. Plus it's fun to POAS...

Sashimi - That vacation sounds divine!! And yes, very important when one or both of you has a crazy job! I remember now, this is the vacation that you planned and were worried about with interviewing, right? Sounds like it worked out! That's exciting. I bet it will TOTALLY make for good BDing :) We took our honeymoon in Paris for 5 weeks and it was the first time I think I fully relaxed in that way--there was no rush, no early morning to worry about, etc etc. We took our honeymoon 8 months after getting married, so it was a welcome change in our sex life after being newlyweds for so long with stressful jobs and weird schedules. I'm excited for you! I don't think you need to worry about not getting O pains. I don't usually get them...I actually only notice about every other month or every 3rd month. I think those are the months that my left ovary decides to compete, as well. I know that if you experience pain from one ovary it can affect the entire pelvic region. Mine seems to happen only when the left is in the race. Anyway, I think the EWCM is the best possible sign that it's happening--that's what I wait for every month! 

It's funny that you all mention having to keep up with the BD schedule and making sure that OH does, too. Our plan this month was to BD every day--literally. OH has been pretty excited about this until today, the 10th day in a row. I got my surge of EWCM and was like, 'It's go time!' He was tired and definitely reluctant, though he enjoyed himself, I think ;) Still, it's the first time that he's wanted to turn down BD. I don't think there's any way we can keep up with it for 14+ more days. Hopefully my temps will change tomorrow and we'll just need to do it a few more days. Then on to the TWW...


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## sweetie888

SashimiMimi said:


> Hey Sweetie! So they took a drop of DH's sperm and a drop of my EWCM and put it on a microscope that was hooked up to a TV screen. Yes, this test (called Cervical Insemination or C.I.) has to be done during ovulation. I have been going for cycle monitoring every day this week and having blood tests and ultrasounds done to see when the surge was coming.
> 
> We could see on the TV screen that the sperm was swimming toward the EWCM very well since DH has such a high count. Then we could see that it was being blocked by my EWCM, basicslly giving up and turning around!! So yes, it would be safe to say my EWCM is probably too thick to let anything through. What I didn't ask is if this is the chemistry with just DH and I? Would someone else's sperm be able to get through? Or am I just one giant sperm blocker!?!? :(
> 
> We could see a few of the sperm were getting through in certain areas, but not enough to really make anything happen. Now the doctor doesn't know if this has been the case every month, but suspects its part of the reason we haven't gotten our BFP!! We are doing another IUI tomorrow and will likely continue TTC this way. (kind of takes the romance out of it, but I'm game!)
> 
> As for the IUI, they take DH's sample and do something called a sperm wash to basically isolate the swimmers. Then they injected it directly into the uterus so it bypasses the EWCM having to carry it up to where it's supposed to be .
> 
> I am completely blown away by the technology at this fertility clinic. The entire facility looks more like a spa than a medical clinic, so it's a very relaxing environment. While I was kind of sad and deflated that we didn't get the green light to go home and BD naturally, I'm glad these solutions are available in this day and age. While I was having the IUI done, I had a casually conversation with the doctor about tennis. Lol!! I was thinking if I do get a BFP this month, it would be a funny conception story... Unlike those who go on a romantic vacation and conceive!! Well at this point I will take a bfp any way I can!!
> 
> Sorry for the long post... And for using the word "sperm" so many times!!! Not sure if the acronym is just S or what. DH was very amused and sheepish about having the give the sample!! He giggled a lot all morning, especially when they offered him magazines and videos (which were apparently very cheesy!!!) to assist with the process!!!! ;)
> 
> Hope you are all having a great weekend. How is everyone else doing in their cycles this month?

Thanks Sashimi for your super in-depth reply! I saw it briefly this morning, but didn't want to read and run. Wow! That's really interesting (all of it!)
I think I don't have enough EWCM so it's something else to consider (as opposed to sperm-blocker EWCM) :)

Your fertility clinic sounds nice! I have a GF that was going to start IUI but they figured out she was actually OV and sent her home to BD and it worked!
Does your insurance cover the IUI and all the other testing and stuff? I think you were in Canada so everything was covered? Honestly, even though it's not romantic, it seems so nice to just get answers and have a proactive approach to get the end goal!


----------



## Preciousone

Hi All Its so nice to see you all sharing your stories, I should be OV from today until the 2nd what time is best to test?? I was told never to do it in the morning?

I'm now at work and wont get home until 6pm is this going to be too late ?

Baby Dust to you all lets all hope for a BFP IN April/May x


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## shonababu

hi preciousone... m testing on 1st april... hate to wait....


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## lauren26

Preciousone said:


> Hi All Its so nice to see you all sharing your stories, I should be OV from today until the 2nd what time is best to test?? I was told never to do it in the morning?
> 
> I'm now at work and wont get home until 6pm is this going to be too late ?
> 
> Baby Dust to you all lets all hope for a BFP IN April/May x

Hi precious - I usually test with an OPK around noon and then again around 5-8pm. When I'm about to O, though, I'll get a + at any time of day. I would start with doing it at 12pm. If you get those cheapo strips you can do it a few times per day, lol. I get my first +OPK at a different time of day every cycle. Good luck! Happy POAS-ing :)


----------



## lauren26

Eeeeee I've gotten my 3rd day of +OPK but I'm afraid my EWCM has dried up...this happened last month and I had the chemical, so I suppose it's OK. My concern is that OH and I BD-ed around 1pm yesterday and he won't be back from work until 7 or 8 tonight....so that if I O this am we might miss the egg, and I don't know whether his swimmers can survive without the EWCM. I really didn't think these things so in-depth last month, lol. Maybe I just need to focus on relaxing...


----------



## countrygirl86

Lauren - It's so easy to get all wrapped up in all of this! Take a deep breath and just BD when you can. It doesn't always work out 100% every month but then it may work out the month you think you missed it. I just ordered some cheapies online which should be here in the next couple of days, in time for next cycles O testing! Fx for you.


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - Same thing happened to me yesterday. I got a +OPK around 230 pm. Hubs didn't get home til LATE from work. We BD'd around 10 pm but I was dry so I used Preseed. Hopefully that did the trick. 

If you BD'd around 1 pm yesterday and you O'd this morning, I feel like you'd still be okay? Did you have EWCM yesterday when you BD'd? If so, I feel like they're alive and well in there!! Fingers crossed for ya!


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## lauren26

Countrygirl and Sleepy - Thank you, wise women!! It IS easy to get wrapped up....It's easy not to notice when I'm starting to stress about it, so thank you. :hugs: I did have some EWCM yesterday when we BD-ed, so hopefully it's up in there somewhere, alive and well, keeping the swimmers going, lol. And I do know that women who don't get any EWCM or who are pretty dry get pregnant BD-ing a few days before O, so I really do know better...It's possible I O-ed this am, just still got the +OPK so not sure. Only time will tell! I think I get wrapped up in thinking that I can control this process, and really there's only so much I can do! I regularly see women's charts who BD-ed 5 days before O-ing and did it when they didn't have fertile CM, then went on to get pg....

Thanks again, ladies. I needed that today! :)


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## lauren26

Hey Ladies,

So I woke at 5:20, cold, and temped. My temp was at 96.6. I hadn't gotten 3 hours so I resolved to take my temp again the next time I woke up, closer to my normal waking time. Woke again at 7:20, warm, and temped 97.6.....I know I'm not supposed to temp twice. Normally my temps are the same or very close no matter what time I take them. The thing is, I'm almost positive I've ovulated. If I record the 96.6 temp, FF will have me as not ovulating yet. If I record 97.6, it feels inaccurate. Any other tempers? I had the same issue last month right after O. For now I've adjusted towards a middle temp and recorded 97.2. I guess my temp tomorrow will help! 

How is everyone else doing? This has been a quiet thread the past couple of days!


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## SleepyOwl

I'm new to temping (first month), but I would leave it as the middle temp you recorded or the later temp and then see what tomorrow and the day after's temp looks like. 

I'm 2DPO and forcing myself not to symptom spot. Actually hasn't been a problem...YET! How is everyone else doing?


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## SashimiMimi

It's so hard to be accurate with temping. That's why I fell off the temping wagon! But Lauren, it sounds like you did O and you know your own body best! I guess we are all either entering our 2ww period, or like me a few days into it. I'm symptom spotting the most I ever have since TTC... I don't really feel anything so far, but I'm only 5dpiui and not feeling entirely optimistic. I used to kind of roll my eyes at people who would post things like "I have a stuff nose!!!!" or "my gums are bleeding could I be pregnant!?!?!" Now I totally feel like that! I think the hard part is the not knowing. If I knew I would get my bfp a month or two months from now, I would feel better. It's the not knowing that really gets me, anyone else feel like that?


----------



## SleepyOwl

Totally agree Sashimi. The not knowing is the hardest part. If someone told me, you know what you'll have to wait 6 more months for a BFP, I would honestly be okay with it. At least I would know and not have to play this guessing game every month. 

As for the stuff nose and bleeding gums, that was totally me my first month TTC. I swore everything was a symptom. I was a lot better last month, prob because I had no hope of being pregnant and hoping to be even better about it this month. Honestly, this was the first month in our TTC that I felt like BD'ing was fun again for me and OH. I feel like the last two months I was so mechanical about it and OH was really having issues with it. Even if I don't get my BFP this month, I feel more hopeful about the coming months since we are on the same page now and are back to enjoying being with each other. 

Sashimi, when you do IUI is your TWW the same as before? You just wait til AF does or doesn't show or do you have to go see the doc beforehand?


----------



## lauren26

Yes, the not knowing is the. worst. If someone told me that I would be guaranteed to get my BFP _ever_ I would feel optimistic! If I knew it would be a few months that would be fine! If I knew it would be a few years, we could start the adoption process (my OH wants to have natural and adopt). It is totally the not knowing. For me it's been a real eye opener around how I generally feel about life...that's why I said I'm a closet pessimist, lol. I generally hold a very positive perspective on life etc, but somehow when it comes to my own hopes and dreams I get pessimistic...at least that's where I'm at this week ;) 

I totally symptom spotted the first month we TTC, and realized after that the multivitamin that I was on was making me horribly nauseous. Lol. I was getting nausea on, like, CD 8 and thinking it meant I was pregnant. This was before I learned about the timing of ovulation etc etc. I get pretty serious PMS symptoms, so I've sort of stopped looking at those signs since most of them are identical to early pregnancy symptoms.

I'm glad we're all in the same boat! If ONE of us gets a BFP this month I'll feel happy and hopeful!

Fx for all of us!


----------



## SashimiMimi

Lauren, my vitamins did the same thing! Taking them later in the day with food seems to work a lot better.

Sleepy, the 2ww is pretty much the same. I did a natural cycle IUI, which means it was non-medicated. The only thing now is I'm on progesterone to help the process. This can actually mimic pregnancy symptoms, so I'm trying to be aware that anything I feel might just be the progesterone. I will go back to my clinic on April 7 for a pregnancy test. This will be day 28 of my cycle... Normally I'm 30 days, so at least I'll know one way or another before AF is due!


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## lauren26

Well, I'm only 4dpo and I'm fixating!! Took a nice walk in the warm weather today, which helped. I am thinking that if I don't get my BFP this cycle I'm going to have my hormone levels checked and OH's SA done. Fx fx fx!


----------



## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> Well, I'm only 4dpo and I'm fixating!! Took a nice walk in the warm weather today, which helped. I am thinking that if I don't get my BFP this cycle I'm going to have my hormone levels checked and OH's SA done. Fx fx fx!

Generally speaking, how much do SA's cost in you all's experience? If we don't get a BFP after a few more cycles, I'd like OH to get one as well, but I'm not sure if he'd be for it.


----------



## lauren26

SleepyOwl said:


> lauren26 said:
> 
> 
> Well, I'm only 4dpo and I'm fixating!! Took a nice walk in the warm weather today, which helped. I am thinking that if I don't get my BFP this cycle I'm going to have my hormone levels checked and OH's SA done. Fx fx fx!
> 
> Generally speaking, how much do SA's cost in you all's experience? If we don't get a BFP after a few more cycles, I'd like OH to get one as well, but I'm not sure if he'd be for it.Click to expand...

I think that our insurance will cover it, so I'm not sure what it would cost at a fertility clinic. I know, also, that you can get kits off of Amazon to do it at home. They are around $70, I think. My OH committed to getting an SA if we weren't pg by April 1. Coming right up! Of course, I can't test as soon as Sunday....though I probably will, knowing me!


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## lauren26

Gals, I'm getting a little nutty this month!! As much as I'm trying not to symptom spot, I have noticed that I am not getting the symptoms I had last month before CP....Which is, in turn, making me think this is not my month. Also, FF gave me cross hairs, but based on the temps I wonder whether I even O-ed--or if I did, whether my progesterone will kick in and get me the higher temps...My post-O temps seem really low this cycle!

I feel like a crazy person writing all this! I am trying my best not to think or worry about it, but you know how that can go...

Hope everyone's weekend is great so far!


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren, you are not the only nut!! :) I have no symptoms at all, but I think it's too early to tell as its only 6dpiui and implantation doesn't really occur until days 6-12... I'm not feeling overly optimistic and last night I got very emotional about it. OH and I went to a basketball game and this annoying couple in front of us brought their baby to the game. It was so loud even my ears were ringing afterwards, and the poor little thing was covering his ears and cringing. Also when the "dance cam" was scanning the audience, the mom wanted to get on the jumbotron so bad that she started making her baby "dance" by shaking him around furiously for an unreasonable amount of time AND she wouldn't stop even after her baby started crying. I felt myself turning into that bitter childless woman thinking "who brings a baby to a basketball game??!!! How does SHE have a baby!?! She's a terrible mother!!" I got worse as the night went on and even stormed off from OH after something he said irritated me. Later on I said "what if we dont get our BFP? After everything we went through?" and he said "then we start the process all over again." Which I guess is true, it's all we can really do...

Also, as you stated above if you don't get your bfp then maybe it would ease your mind to get some tests done. I know it's helped me! I'm so glad I didnt wait another 4 months to find out about my thyroid or my sperm-blocking CM!!! For months I wondered if my tubes were blocked or if something worse was going on. Lauren, at least you know you can get pregnant after having the CP last month. And maybe it's a good thing you don't have the same symptoms as last time seeing as it did (sadly) result in a CP. 

Most of my friends who have had babies recently had no symptoms until after AF was due. Even my SIL who had 4 IUIs was shocked when the 4th one was actually a success. She felt nothing! 

So this next week is going to drag on and on for me. I'm going to be completely out of my mind until I go back to the clinic for the PG test a week from today. Let's help keep each other sane!


----------



## SashimiMimi

SleepyOwl said:


> lauren26 said:
> 
> 
> Well, I'm only 4dpo and I'm fixating!! Took a nice walk in the warm weather today, which helped. I am thinking that if I don't get my BFP this cycle I'm going to have my hormone levels checked and OH's SA done. Fx fx fx!
> 
> Generally speaking, how much do SA's cost in you all's experience? If we don't get a BFP after a few more cycles, I'd like OH to get one as well, but I'm not sure if he'd be for it.Click to expand...

Here in Canada our government insurance covered two of the SA tests and we paid $175 for a full Sperm defragmentation test. Figured it couldn't hurt to cover all our bases!


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## SleepyOwl

Thanks for the info ladies! If we don't get a BFP this month, I'm just going to mention it to OH to see how he reacts. Just to be safe! 

Lauren - sometimes no symptoms are a good sign? I hear that alot from people who have gotten pregnant. That they got their BFP and were totally shocked since they had no symptoms at all. Also, maybe its too early to have any?


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## lauren26

Thank you, ladies!! What would I do without you? :) You're right, sometimes no sign is the best sign! I am on my phone (obsessed?) so will write more later...


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## lauren26

SleepyOwl said:


> Thanks for the info ladies! If we don't get a BFP this month, I'm just going to mention it to OH to see how he reacts. Just to be safe!
> 
> Lauren - sometimes no symptoms are a good sign? I hear that alot from people who have gotten pregnant. That they got their BFP and were totally shocked since they had no symptoms at all. Also, maybe its too early to have any?

Well, I have calmed down since this morning. Thanks so much for your support, ladies!! We do need to help each other stay sane...I really appreciate this community! :hugs:

After I posted I did an OPK (since my temps have been funky) and it was 3/4 positive...almost as dark as my darkest this month. So now I'm thinking maybe I didn't O, and am gearing up to, though I have no fertile CM right now. I know some women get +OPKs when they are pg, but it is too early for me to have that happen, and I did an hpt anyway and of course got BFN (I am 5dpo). I did another OPK this evening and it was really negative. Just confusing. I guess it's really just a mystery and a waiting game for me this month! I don't know for sure that I O-ed, don't know if I will, and don't know whether I'm in the TWW. Lol. I kind of need to just throw up my hands and this point and try to enjoy the daily BD!

Sleepy, you are right. Also, after the severity of symptoms last month I tried to be much healthier this time. My eating has been pretty great and I'm on loads of vitamins. I have had a few glasses of wine here and there, but hoped that it helped the process...if only just in helping me relax!

Sashimi, that sounds like a terrible thing to witness! I know exactly how it feels, and I can relate to feeling like the childless, bitter woman. My SIL feeds her children soooooo much fast food--sometimes three meals per day. I have felt judgmental around her, too, with that and other things. It can be so triggering to see moms that seem careless when you feel like you've doing everything right and have prepared physically, emotionally, and mentally for a baby so you can be a great, healthy mom and still haven't gotten a BFP. My OH reminded me today that it's super important to let the feelings come up and not try to bottle. Yours sounds very supportive, too, with saying that you can just start over if needed! That's great to hear that your SIL had success after a few IUIs. I feel like it's going to happen soon for you :)


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## lauren26

PS Here is a poor pic of my OPKs....the starred one is CD 15, the darkest. The one I did this AM is almost as dark. It's the one second from the right end. That def looks like I have not O-ed yet but am about to, right?
https://i1263.photobucket.com/albums/ii633/laurendartt/OPK-1-1-1.jpg


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren, I once went through the same confusion with those cheap strip OPKs. One month they started getting dark around CD6 or 7 which is way too early. They would lighten up then get darker again and I was so confused that I decided to conduct an experiment. I stuck the OPK in my bathroom tap water and got a faint, but very visible line. (I'm not kidding!) I refused to believe that my tap water was about to O, so I probably just had a bad batch of test strips!! So now I just use OPKs to confirm my natural O symptoms. If your EWCM is gone and you don't feel the other things you normally feel then you probably already Oed. But...just in case you could BD, but just have fun with it!

As for me, haven't really felt any anything new today. Yesterday I had a dull ache around my left ovary area. I've never felt that before so I don't know if it was a weird cramp or if things are going on down there!! Like I mentioned before , I'm taking these annoying progesterone suppositories twice a day so it could always be a side affect from that.

P.S. thanks for assuring me Im not the only judgmental person around other people with kids Lauren. I think even if I wasn't TTC, I would still be annoyed with someone subjecting their baby to loud basketball game speakers/shaking their baby relentlessly to get on the jumbotron!!! ;)


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## SleepyOwl

SashimiMimi said:


> Lauren, I once went through the same confusion with those cheap strip OPKs. One month they started getting dark around CD6 or 7 which is way too early. They would lighten up then get darker again and I was so confused that I decided to conduct an experiment. I stuck the OPK in my bathroom tap water and got a faint, but very visible line. (I'm not kidding!) I refused to believe that my tap water was about to O, so I probably just had a bad batch of test strips!! So now I just use OPKs to confirm my natural O symptoms. If your EWCM is gone and you don't feel the other things you normally feel then you probably already Oed. But...just in case you could BD, but just have fun with it!
> 
> As for me, haven't really felt any anything new today. Yesterday I had a dull ache around my left ovary area. I've never felt that before so I don't know if it was a weird cramp or if things are going on down there!! Like I mentioned before , I'm taking these annoying progesterone suppositories twice a day so it could always be a side affect from that.
> 
> P.S. thanks for assuring me Im not the only judgmental person around other people with kids Lauren. I think even if I wasn't TTC, I would still be annoyed with someone subjecting their baby to loud basketball game speakers/shaking their baby relentlessly to get on the jumbotron!!! ;)

I'm about to go test my tap water to see if it's about to O!! Sashimi, I hope that little cramp is an egg implanting. I'm so obsessed that I've begun to symptom spot for others :X

Lauren: That is craze. Did you try seeing if that batch is defective? Either way, you better get to it girl, just in case you're about to O!

Just to chime in on the totally hating other people who have young children and are totally unfit to parent. I saw a mom yesterday with the cutest little toddler, who was just being a toddler and the mom was telling her if she didn't calm down, she was going to beat her. And I'm putting it nicely. I wanted to walk over there and punch that woman in her ugly face. SO ridiculous.


----------



## lauren26

Sashimi - Oh my goodness! That sooooo relieves me :) Thank you!! I really do think that I already ovulated. There are no other signs that I haven't besides my weird temps, and even those are OK I think. Since I've been charting I can really tell based on CM and CP what's generally going on. Thank you for reminding me to trust my own intuition about my body.

Yeah--the judgment feels yucky but it's totally normal for it to come up!! Don't be too hard on yourself. I would feel the same way if I saw that! I had a similar experience at a loud, 98 degree baseball game where there was beer and popcorn flying everywhere and these people had their one year old (named "Judge", weirdly) who they were totally ignoring. It made me nervous since it was such a rowdy atmosphere. Anyway. I understand!

The ovary pain could be a good sign!! I know that some women feel a pinch around implantation.


----------



## lauren26

Sleepy - That is AWFUL. I hate seeing that. I hate it. It completely shocks me when I see anyone behaving in that way, especially to a child! That's heartbreaking. My mom once confronted a woman in the grocery store parking lot who was doing something similar. The woman yelled at my mom, of course. I don't know if it made the situation better or worse, but I have absolutely wanted to call people out on that sort of thing in the past. 

It may be that my OPKs are defective--like I said, I got a completely negative one in the afternoon, so maybe I was wrong. I sooooooo hope that I couldn't get a false + on an hpt as easily.


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## lauren26

This morning I temped and my thermometer went off really quickly. I thought, 'Oh! I bet the battery is low!', so I temped right away with my other thermometer and the temps were totally different. That explains a lot!! I've been using both off and on. I guess that's a no-no....realizing now that I have been freaking out all cycle over a thermometer whose batteries are likely bad. Oh my.


----------



## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> This morning I temped and my thermometer went off really quickly. I thought, 'Oh! I bet the battery is low!', so I temped right away with my other thermometer and the temps were totally different. That explains a lot!! I've been using both off and on. I guess that's a no-no....realizing now that I have been freaking out all cycle over a thermometer whose batteries are likely bad. Oh my.

Oh geez! Well hopefully that will solve the wonky temps you've had. What would be even better is if you got a BFP then you could forget the temping...ahh, what a glorious day that will be, lol!


----------



## lauren26

SleepyOwl said:


> lauren26 said:
> 
> 
> This morning I temped and my thermometer went off really quickly. I thought, 'Oh! I bet the battery is low!', so I temped right away with my other thermometer and the temps were totally different. That explains a lot!! I've been using both off and on. I guess that's a no-no....realizing now that I have been freaking out all cycle over a thermometer whose batteries are likely bad. Oh my.
> 
> Oh geez! Well hopefully that will solve the wonky temps you've had. What would be even better is if you got a BFP then you could forget the temping...ahh, what a glorious day that will be, lol!Click to expand...

Agreed! Though, knowing me, I'd probably still temp....How's it going for you?


----------



## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> SleepyOwl said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lauren26 said:
> 
> 
> This morning I temped and my thermometer went off really quickly. I thought, 'Oh! I bet the battery is low!', so I temped right away with my other thermometer and the temps were totally different. That explains a lot!! I've been using both off and on. I guess that's a no-no....realizing now that I have been freaking out all cycle over a thermometer whose batteries are likely bad. Oh my.
> 
> Oh geez! Well hopefully that will solve the wonky temps you've had. What would be even better is if you got a BFP then you could forget the temping...ahh, what a glorious day that will be, lol!Click to expand...
> 
> Agreed! Though, knowing me, I'd probably still temp....How's it going for you?Click to expand...

I'd totally still temp too :X At least for a while, lol!

Nothing new really on my end except that I had EWCM again today when I wiped (sorry if TMI!). I am REALLY confused about that. I'm nowhere near my AF due date and I'm only 5DPO right now. I was going to BD last night because I had some but passed out on the couch so we will tonight. Do you guys ever get this? I'm hoping it doesn't mean that I didn't O. All signs point to CD 15 being my O date, so I'm just not sure what my body is doing.


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## lauren26

Sleepy, that could be a great sign!! I have heard of women getting an increase of CM before their BFPs! I would BD anyway, just to be safe :)


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## SleepyOwl

I feel like a BD-ing machine. Last night my OH was like, what's gotten into you? He doesn't really want to know the details of ovulation, CM and OPK's. He had alot of performance anxiety in cycle 2 when I made him aware of the details. Now he thinks I'm a deviant or something because I'm always trying to do it - like I turn a switch on. Oh well! Better for him I suppose and better for me because it gets the job done. We BD'd last night. Prob will BD again tonight if OH is up for it. 

How's everyone else doing? Symptoms? Anything fun to report?


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## SashimiMimi

Wow! Sounds like we are all having wacky symptoms this 2ww! Sleepy, I just looked back at the chart I've been keeping on the iPeriod iPhone app and there has been the odd time where EWCM surfaced again well after my estimated O time. It's confusing isn't it? I guess this is why so many people say to us "Oh... Just BD every other day throughout your cycle and you'll get a BFP." Unfortunately, such a plan is sometimes easier said than done.

On a side note, I tried to Google what could cause a false positive on an OPK and found other people who got a faint positive line from tap water!!!! I guess there are some bad batches out there with the cheap strips! I was totally obsessing around that time and the ovulating tap water made me LOL big time and relax a little bit.

I could use some advice on another topic. We are having some friends over for dinner this weekend and the wife is pregnant. She occasionally says really rude things without knowing it: like asking if I am drinking or not in front of other people because she knows I'm TTC, has insisted we are "doing it wrong", kind of rolled her eyes when I was doing fertility acupuncture, etc. I know she is going to ask if we had any success yet and I dont know whether to tell the truth about what's been happening or say we stopped trying. We will see them the night before I am due to go in for my preg test and I know I will be somewhat of a wreck. Plus as happy as I am for them, it's tough for me to be around pregnant women because it's a reminder that I'm not. It's awful of me, but I'm just not feeling overly optimistic after so many BFNs it's tough for me to think yes, this is our month and picture that bfp! 

PS. I'm spending way too much time in this forum! I accidentally said "AF" out loud to OH yesterday. I don't think he noticed but it made me feel like a huge computer nerd! :) haha!


----------



## lauren26

SleepyOwl said:


> I feel like a BD-ing machine. Last night my OH was like, what's gotten into you? He doesn't really want to know the details of ovulation, CM and OPK's. He had alot of performance anxiety in cycle 2 when I made him aware of the details. Now he thinks I'm a deviant or something because I'm always trying to do it - like I turn a switch on. Oh well! Better for him I suppose and better for me because it gets the job done. We BD'd last night. Prob will BD again tonight if OH is up for it.
> 
> How's everyone else doing? Symptoms? Anything fun to report?

LOL. I think it's helpful to leave them out of the OV loop....my OH knew we were on the daily BD plan this month, and he was going strong until the last few days. I think he started to worry, too, that he couldn't 'produce' enough (sorry TMI). 

I have had sore bbs, but they haven't gotten huge like they normally do, and have some creamy CM. Other than that, nothing spectacular to report!

Others?


----------



## SashimiMimi

SleepyOwl said:


> I feel like a BD-ing machine. Last night my OH was like, what's gotten into you? He doesn't really want to know the details of ovulation, CM and OPK's. He had alot of performance anxiety in cycle 2 when I made him aware of the details. Now he thinks I'm a deviant or something because I'm always trying to do it - like I turn a switch on. Oh well! Better for him I suppose and better for me because it gets the job done. We BD'd last night. Prob will BD again tonight if OH is up for it.
> 
> How's everyone else doing? Symptoms? Anything fun to report?

Hey look at the 3 of us posting at the same time!!!! My OH had performance anxiety as well during cycles 2 and 3! I explained the window in simple terms and use the words "egg drop" which made him turn green. I know better now not to speak of my reproductive organs in detail!

As for symptoms, I don't know what to think because progesterone can mimick PG symptoms. I've had a lot of spotting caused by the suppositories so I don't know if any of it could be IB. I had slight pinching around my right ovary yesterday, whereas a few days ago I had a lot of aching around left ovary. How about you ladies?


----------



## lauren26

Wow, we are all posting at once!! I hear you--I keep almost saying 'BFN' to my OH. I almost called him my 'OH' out loud to someone yesterday, lol. On the bright side, I think that this forum is a safe, cozy outlet for all of my excitement and worry. I'm glad that I haven't shared a lot of this with OH. BnB nerds!

Sashimi, about your friend: If it were me, I would NOT tell them about the IUI. This process is soooo tender and vulnerable, and her track record of respecting that is non-existant. If they ask about it I would just tell them that you feel great about where you're at (even if you don't) and then change the subject. I would not leave any opening to talk about it--unless you really do want to share it with them, or you feel that real urge in the moment. I had to stop talking to friends and family my age who were pg because they were very minimizing, as well. Whatever you decide to do, it's important to feel protected and nurtured emotionally during the TTC process. 

What you told me about the tap water TOTALLY made me relax. My worry about this cycle instantly vanished. I have been surprisingly pleasant about the whole process today and yesterday--no promises about tomorrow ;). I kept telling myself that I imagined the chemical last month, so this AM I went into my photobucket account and looked at the pic I took of the hpt on the morning of the mc, and it was so clearly + (faint but there and pink). That calmed me down, too. Knowing it can happen. I feel like that's half the battle, really, believing it's possible!! I read women's miracle stories on twoweekwait.com all the time (...occasionally :blush:), and they always remind me that anything is really possible. I have been trying to remember my friend whose wife was told that she would 'never, ever, in a million years' conceive naturally and then did after adoption and IVF--none of us have been told that, so we're already ahead of the game! :) Anyway, I'm glad to hear you've relaxed--I have heard about the tap water before, too, and actually wondered if the water in my town could be a culprit (our water is notoriously bad-tasting and overly-treated). 

Do what feels BEST to you, Sashimi. If the thought of telling your friend makes you cringe, then don't! If it feels good and supportive, I say do it :) 

Can you tell us your test/clinic date again? I will be thinking of you and sending + test vibes!

PS I have had little dull aches and twinges on both the left and right sides, too. I had very clear O pain this month, and this is a bit different.


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks, Lauren! What you just said makes me feel a lot better! I'll talk to OH about my fears in discussing the IUI and we will come up with a plan. Speaking of OH, he recently caught up with a close childhood friend of his who lives across the country. He found out that this good friend and his wife are also currently doing IUI. I wondererd if it helped him to talk to another guy about fertility! After all, I can't imagine there are support groups like this for men on the web. 

So the big test is this coming Saturday. I don't know how quickly I will get the results. I imagine they will call me either saturday afternoon or Sunday?? We have a family Easter celebration on Saturday afternoon and I wondered how I would handle it if the results are not in my favor. Maybe I won't even know in time, although my doctor recommended I POAS as well... Although sometimes they can give you a false negative because it might be too early to tell. Ugh!! If only we could have more clear signs about the day we O and a BFP instantly instead of all this waiting. 

My emotions are like a yo-yo. Certain days I have the attitude that I can handle it no matter what and like the OH said... Just start again if we have to. Other days I crumble and have a really good cry. I know this whole thing is out of my control now, but I don't know how to stop putting pressure on myself!


----------



## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> SleepyOwl said:
> 
> 
> I feel like a BD-ing machine. Last night my OH was like, what's gotten into you? He doesn't really want to know the details of ovulation, CM and OPK's. He had alot of performance anxiety in cycle 2 when I made him aware of the details. Now he thinks I'm a deviant or something because I'm always trying to do it - like I turn a switch on. Oh well! Better for him I suppose and better for me because it gets the job done. We BD'd last night. Prob will BD again tonight if OH is up for it.
> 
> How's everyone else doing? Symptoms? Anything fun to report?
> 
> LOL. I think it's helpful to leave them out of the OV loop....my OH knew we were on the daily BD plan this month, and he was going strong until the last few days. I think he started to worry, too, that he couldn't 'produce' enough (sorry TMI).
> 
> I have had sore bbs, but they haven't gotten huge like they normally do, and have some creamy CM. Other than that, nothing spectacular to report!
> 
> Others?Click to expand...

Lauren: creamy/lotiony CM is a good sign from all the BFP stalking I've done. Do you normally have that?


----------



## SleepyOwl

SashimiMimi said:


> Thanks, Lauren! What you just said makes me feel a lot better! I'll talk to OH about my fears in discussing the IUI and we will come up with a plan. Speaking of OH, he recently caught up with a close childhood friend of his who lives across the country. He found out that this good friend and his wife are also currently doing IUI. I wondererd if it helped him to talk to another guy about fertility! After all, I can't imagine there are support groups like this for men on the web.
> 
> So the big test is this coming Saturday. I don't know how quickly I will get the results. I imagine they will call me either saturday afternoon or Sunday?? We have a family Easter celebration on Saturday afternoon and I wondered how I would handle it if the results are not in my favor. Maybe I won't even know in time, although my doctor recommended I POAS as well... Although sometimes they can give you a false negative because it might be too early to tell. Ugh!! If only we could have more clear signs about the day we O and a BFP instantly instead of all this waiting.
> 
> My emotions are like a yo-yo. Certain days I have the attitude that I can handle it no matter what and like the OH said... Just start again if we have to. Other days I crumble and have a really good cry. I know this whole thing is out of my control now, but I don't know how to stop putting pressure on myself!

Aww, that is tough Sashimi. Praying that you get great news on Saturday. 

As for your rude friend, I agree with Lauren, I would def. not tell her about the IUI especially if she isn't sensitive to the fact that this is a difficult process. You don't want anyone bringing you down or putting any more emotional strain on you. People just don't know how to be supportive. The only reason I would say anything is if you think that you might benefit from that in some way - like if it's therapeutic. Sorry your friend is so insensitive. I can't believe women don't understand that this is hard for some people, especially since she is pregnant herself.


----------



## lauren26

SleepyOwl said:


> lauren26 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SleepyOwl said:
> 
> 
> I feel like a BD-ing machine. Last night my OH was like, what's gotten into you? He doesn't really want to know the details of ovulation, CM and OPK's. He had alot of performance anxiety in cycle 2 when I made him aware of the details. Now he thinks I'm a deviant or something because I'm always trying to do it - like I turn a switch on. Oh well! Better for him I suppose and better for me because it gets the job done. We BD'd last night. Prob will BD again tonight if OH is up for it.
> 
> How's everyone else doing? Symptoms? Anything fun to report?
> 
> LOL. I think it's helpful to leave them out of the OV loop....my OH knew we were on the daily BD plan this month, and he was going strong until the last few days. I think he started to worry, too, that he couldn't 'produce' enough (sorry TMI).
> 
> I have had sore bbs, but they haven't gotten huge like they normally do, and have some creamy CM. Other than that, nothing spectacular to report!
> 
> Others?Click to expand...
> 
> Lauren: creamy/lotiony CM is a good sign from all the BFP stalking I've done. Do you normally have that?Click to expand...

I did have it last month, so it def could be a pg sign--I see on my own chart that I had it the month prior, though I remember thinking last month, 'Wow! This is a lot of lotiony CM!', like I understood what my book said when it referred to 'lotiony'. So. It might be a sign and it might also be something that has always happened that I never noticed. The things I'm learning about my body!


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## SleepyOwl

It's crazy the things we never noticed before TTC. I feel like an expert now - obvi not as I'm not pregnant, but that's besides the point. Fingers crossed that it's a sign of good things to come :)


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks Sleepy and Lauren!!! I don't know what I'd do without you guys this week. So glad I found this forum. I'm feeling less on edge tonight, so I'm ready to face whatever the weekend brings! 

So the only weird "symptom" I've had this week is that for the past two mornings I have woken up really early craving chicken with the skin on... Actually I think it's the actually chicken skin that I want which is odd. I got food poisoning from chicken once so it's odd that I would crave it, plus I'm not much of a breakfast person in general so I dont know why on earth I'd want meat!

Anything else I'm feeling like sore bbs and slight cramping could very well be the progesterone I'm taking. It's normal for me to feel these two things before AF, but then again it's only 9 dpo so a bit early. I figure I should stop obsessing until the weekend, but I've obsessed this many days so why stop now!! ;) 

Lauren, what was that name of the fertility book that you read? I think you mentioned it in a previous post.


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## lauren26

Hi Sashimi - I am with you!! I can't stop now! I have been testing, which is naughty since I'm only 8dpo and tested on 6dpo, too. BFNs, of course. I was hoping I'd be that rare (very rare!) woman who got a BFP at 6dpo. Lol. Maybe it's a control thing? I feel like my symptoms are pretty normal before AF, too, so I can't really tell. The unusual one for me is that my breasts are tender (usually doesn't happen for a full week before AF but did last cycle), but they are not getting crazy big. I usually grow a full cup size before AF--a symptom my OH quite likes! I also tend to get really, really bloated, and that has not happened so far--but I seem to remember thinking, in prior months, 'Oh! I'm not bloated, I must be pregnant!' Lol, what a weird conclusion to draw. And inevitably I do get bloated. I have some kind of pressure or sensation in my pelvis, hips, and back that feels pre-crampy, but no pain. 

Your chicken craving sounds like a good sign!! Yesterday I bought groceries and picked out ingredients for a delicious pasta dinner with turkey meatballs and mushrooms. I was looking forward to it all night. Then when it was time to prepare it before OH got home, I felt ill thinking about it. That's not necessarily unusual for me, but it stood out. I felt better once I started cooking and smelling it. 

I'm glad we could help you! :) Sleepy is right, some women--amazingly--just don't understand!

The book is called Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. It's amazing and filled with great info. There's soooooo much that I didn't know about the TTC process and my body--I went through some anger after reading it about the fact that I had never learned most of this! She essentially says, too, that if nothing unusual is happening that most couples who use the method (Fertility Awareness Method) get pregnant within 3 months. We had our chemical on the 2nd cycle charting, so I suppose that counts! The vast amount of info the provided gave me a some sense of control--or at least awareness.


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## SleepyOwl

I'm going to buy that book! I feel like I am learning things as I go, but I'd much rather be prepared and know as much as I can. I think I'll feel like I have a little more control over the process/my body. 

Food aversions are good! I have none so far - I'm like a human garbage disposal over here soooo maybe that's a good sign too? Lol!

I'm excited for our AF arrival dates - is that weird? I want a BFP desperately or to just be able to start over again. This wait is killing me!!


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## lauren26

SleepyOwl said:


> I'm going to buy that book! I feel like I am learning things as I go, but I'd much rather be prepared and know as much as I can. I think I'll feel like I have a little more control over the process/my body.
> 
> Food aversions are good! I have none so far - I'm like a human garbage disposal over here soooo maybe that's a good sign too? Lol!
> 
> I'm excited for our AF arrival dates - is that weird? I want a BFP desperately or to just be able to start over again. This wait is killing me!!

Great! I hope the book helps--I have really enjoyed it!! It's a lot of reading but worth it--and really, if you devote time to just sitting down and getting through it, there are only a few totally essential chapters. I skipped everything on using FAM for preventing pg, obv. The one disclaimer I will give about it is that she can lay things out a bit black and white, as far as how a normal chart should look, which really stressed me out at first. Having charted for a few months now, though, and seeing tons of ladies' crazy-looking pregnancy charts on FF, I feel like there's a lot more room for mystery and exceptions than she lets on. I understand why she presents things the way she does, though. Just don't stress if your chart doesn't look *perfect*!

I am excited, too. I WANT that BFP--and I feel the same way each month--like, if I'm not going to get it I just want to get everything over with and start again! The only good thing about the wait, for me, is that it assures me that my luteal phase length is good, which is something I worried about before charting. Also, I *almost* don't want to say it (knocking on wood right now), but I have not spotted or gotten brown CM this cycle--this is the longest I've gone in a while without getting it, so I'm feeling confident that my hormones are balancing out (I have had spotting before AF since I started TTC--sometimes for two weeks straight! Other cycles it's just been a few days. Watch, now that I've said that it'll happen today :wacko:).


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## countrygirl86

Just wanted to throw in my two cents about that book, it's amazing. I can't believe how much I didn't understand my body before. I'm not all the way through it yet but am using the info already. I highly recommend this book to any woman!


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## lauren26

Woohoo! I love it, too! I can't believe I hadn't hear of it until I'd been TTC for several months.


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## countrygirl86

I feel like it should be taught to us at some point in our lives in school or something. It really takes the guess work out of a lot of it!


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## SashimiMimi

Country you are so right! I remember learning in school that you could get pregnant any time during your cycle... I'm sure this is just to scare teens into abstinence, but it took me until I started TTC to learn about the window and I'm 30. I'm noticing that people who did not struggle with fertility (like my mother) are really surprised by the real odds of conceiving. I think I mentioned in a previous post that my own mom hadn't heard of EWCM!

I'm going to check out the book Lauren recommended for sure. I find it so interesting and the only thing I can really do is educate myself while I'm going through this process. So I'm 9dpiui and I really don't feel anything. I'm not sure what I should feel as I've never had a bfp, but I just feel like I should have this knowing feeling. Mind you my SIL had no idea that her 4th IUI had worked... I just don't feel overly hopeful for the results this Saturday, or maybe Im just trying not to get my hopes up to avoid major disappointment. I wish I could know what the outcome will be now so I could be sad for a day and then move on. Ugh! I think I'm going to POAS on Friday just to see what happens! 

I'm now on my way to go out and buy a chicken to satisfy my weird chicken craving I've been having this week!!! :)


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi, when I mentioned EWCM to my mom, she just laughed and told me I was being crazy. Such a different experience for them. My mom got pregnant on her honeymoon. Clearly no issues for her at all! For your results, are you going in on Saturday and then they call you? Or will you know right away? I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way!

I'm going to buy that book today and spend the night reading. Something new to busy myself during the TWW :)


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## SashimiMimi

I think they will call me within a day or so with results. I'm assuming since it is a blood test, it will take some time. But thanks for the positive thoughts in advance, I need all the good vibes I can get!
My mom got PG with my brother while on the pill, then after him had her tubes cut because she didn't think she wanted any more kids. 5 years later she had her tubes sewn back together which was a rare procedure in the early 80s and got PG with me on her first try after healing from the surgery. SIL joked that my mom used up all the baby dust and that's why she and I have dealt with not getting BFP right away.
Sleepy, I think I already said this in another post but when I explained EWCM or any time of CM for that matter to my mom she went silent for a minute and said "Now I hears Jennifer Anniston say cervical mucus in a movie once and I thought she was just being vulgar!" it makes me LOL when I think about that.

I'm going to look for that book tomorrow. We can have a book discussion in our thread here while we continue with our 2ww!


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## lauren26

Country - I feel the same way!! It should be taught in school, absolutely. There are so many reasons for girls to learn about this process more in-depth. I felt, too, that ANY time I had sex without protection I would get pregnant, including during my period. The thing is that some women do become pg during their 'period', but it's not a real period...But that is absolutely the exception and not the rule!

When we first started talking about TTC, my mom asked me if I'd gotten a fern test or if my doc had tested to see if our blood types went together. I had no idea what she was talking about. I'm pretty sure my mom temped, but I don't know if she knew the significance of the information she got, lol. It only took her 3 months with me, so she's one of the people in my life who's always saying 'just relax!'. I do know that she quit smoking a year before, and didn't drink alcohol or coffee for an entire year before even starting to try. That's serious dedication to the process! At least that's what she _says_ she did...I remember asking my mom when I was around 5 where babies came from and my mother explaining in a very scientific but accurate way. My dad left the room immediately, lol. I was super young, and very skeptical about the stork... My mom gave me the nitty gritty without any of the emotional info, which I think was skillful of her. 

I'm in agreement about a book club!! Even if one (or ALL :)) of us gets our BFP this month--the book is helpful during pg, too, from what I understand. 

Sashimi, it sounds like you will find out close to the time that Sleepy and I find out. Country--when are you testing? 

Fx for everyone!! Picturing this whole thread lit up with BFPs!


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## SashimiMimi

Well at least we are all in this together! It's nice to know we are all (almost) testing around the same time!! Whatever the outcome, it's so great to feel supported. What did women struggling with fertility do before the Internet? Or fertility clinics for that matter!? I'm glad we live in a day and age where we at least have options!


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## SleepyOwl

Love book clubs! Ours won't have any wine though, hehe :)


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## countrygirl86

I tested Monday (just for fun cause I ordered some IC's) but am due for AF either today or tomorrow. I've heard the IC's don't work well before but I'm not overly optimistic for this cycle since I wasn't temping till after I o'd. I'm gearing myself up for next cycle though by reading TCOYF and temping/charting.

We haven't told anyone we are TTC but I casually asked my mom last summer what it was like when they decided to have kids and she said "it was no problem at all, basically we made up our minds to try and there you were". I don't know if it's our generation but it doesn't seem like they had much trouble. 

I'm in for the book club!


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## lauren26

Wow. It's so crazy that our mothers just can't relate to the TTC struggle! I'm so grateful for this forum!! My mom just really, really doesn't understand. 

I'm starting to think I'm out for this cycle. I had a dream that I was staying at a friend's house for her family's reunion and got my period in their bed--lol sorry if that image is too much! I woke up dry but got a little pink-red blood when I checked my cervix. I know that a lot of women get some spotting before their BFP, but it's hard for me to stay optimistic. I feel like spotting is always a sure sign that it's over for me in any given cycle. That coupled with my - hpts so far is not encouraging.

I'm not too upset at this point--I know there are still a few more days, I've just sort of rounded that corner from hopeful to neutral, and am not getting my hopes up any more for a Christmas baby. 

How are you ladies?? Anyone start their book last night? :)


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## countrygirl86

lauren i feel the same, not too upset. If anything I'm more excited to get AF started so I can focus on next cycle. They say you aren't out until she comes so there is still hope for both of us but I know I'm ok for it to not be this month. I'm thinking it'll be lucky 13 (2013) babies for us! 

Do any of you ladies have a journal on here? I was thinking of starting one :blush:


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## SleepyOwl

Hey ladies! I caved this morning and took an HPT and it was BFN. Total lack of self-control. First time in 3 cycles that I have actually tested before AF was late. I had some seriously wacky dreams night and could barely get out of bed from exhaustion this morning so I thought it was worth a shot. Safe to say I'm DEPRESSED! 

I feel like the only person that really understands this struggle is my sister. It took her 3 years to get pregnant and she finally did on her 4th IUI. I can tell she gets it because she never asks me about anything related to TTC. She just lets me bring it up when I want and never pries. She answers only the question I ask and if I want to talk more, she lets me. It's nice having her around especially in contrast to some of my other, more rude family members. It might be a culture thing - but people have NO boundaries I tell you.

Lauren: You're not out yet. Alot of women spot and still get their BFP. But it's good that you seem neutral about the whole thing. Trying to get that attitude as well. 

Countrygirl: I've got a journal, but really it's just me talking to people and ranting and raving and not saying too much of substance. Sounds fascinating doesn't it?? Lol! You should start one! It's nice to be able to get out some of those feelings and talk to others who can stalk your journal (read: me).


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## lauren26

Sleepy - I have done an hpt every day this cycle since 6dpo---NO self control whatsoever! I resolved each night not to test in the morning. When I wake up, before I know it I'm peeing in the cup and tearing open a Wondfo packet. On that note, I love that I got 100 tests (OPK and hpt) for under $20, but I've been hearing all week that people have had bad luck with Wondfo. I've heard good things this entire time until now!! I bought them because of my POAS addiction--I can't afford to pee on the super sticks 14 days of the month, lol. 

On the emo note--I AM trying to stay neutral, but honestly I was very, very disappointed when I got the spotting this AM. I do know that some women still have success, I just have also heard that many women who spot knew they were pregnant when they didn't spot that cycle at all. I guess it's different for everyone.


----------



## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> Sleepy - I have done an hpt every day this cycle since 6dpo---NO self control whatsoever! I resolved each night not to test in the morning. When I wake up, before I know it I'm peeing in the cup and tearing open a Wondfo packet. On that note, I love that I got 100 tests (OPK and hpt) for under $20, but I've been hearing all week that people have had bad luck with Wondfo. I've heard good things this entire time until now!! I bought them because of my POAS addiction--I can't afford to pee on the super sticks 14 days of the month, lol.
> 
> On the emo note--I AM trying to stay neutral, but honestly I was very, very disappointed when I got the spotting this AM. I do know that some women still have success, I just have also heard that many women who spot knew they were pregnant when they didn't spot that cycle at all. I guess it's different for everyone.

LOL @ on the emo note. I know it's sooo hard to stay neutral and positive when it comes to your own body and TTC process. I always feel so optimistic for others and negative for myself. 

Where did you order your Wondfo's from? Amazon. My cheapies are from early-pregnancy-tests.com and the OPK's seem to work fine, but I don't every fully trust these cheapies. I'm saving my expensive HPT's for when AF is late...which apparently is never.


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## countrygirl86

Hey Sleepy, that's where I got my cheapies from lol so far only tried one HPT (-). How long have you been using them? Are the OPKs pretty accurate?

So far I haven't developed a POAS addiction but I can see it coming in my future lol


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## SleepyOwl

countrygirl86 said:


> Hey Sleepy, that's where I got my cheapies from lol so far only tried one HPT (-). How long have you been using them? Are the OPKs pretty accurate?
> 
> So far I haven't developed a POAS addiction but I can see it coming in my future lol

This was my first month using OPK's and they seemed to work fine. I was out of town for a good portion of my fertile period so I didn't have them with me, but I used them on CD 13, 14, 15, 16 and based on my EWCM the OPK's seemed to be correct (+ on CD14 and near + on CD13).


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## lauren26

Well, my 'spotting' has not officially become spotting (knocking on wood! fx fx!). I had the spot of blood when I checked my CP this morning and since have only had a drop or two on a pantyliner (sorry TMI), and that was very light pink/orange?/brown. No cramps yet, hopes back up! Lol. Totally got line-eyed with my tests from this AM, even though you're really not supposed to look at them 8 hours later. And really, nothing there anyway. Fx for all of us--whether it's fx for BFPs or just plain staying sane!

Country - I used Wondfo OPK strips this month and they worked very well, though they are easy to ruin (I brought some with me on a weekend away and peed directly on them--that did not work), and I got an almost + randomly one morning in the middle of a bunch of definite - tests and several days after O. So far I like the hpts--they don't show evaps, as far as I can tell, so it takes the confusion away.


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## SleepyOwl

Oooooh fingers crossed for you Lauren! Hope this is your BFP :) 

I've had cramps on and off all day. Totally feels like AF but keeping hope alive til she shows!


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## lauren26

Gal-friends: after hearing about Wondfo being a bit unreliable and having one of my tests crack today (weird), I Googled and found that my batch is apparently a bad batch, giving a lot of false +s. In case anyone else has Wondfo! This might be why I got a weird + OPK, too. Going to go buy some different tests....I was sooo happy to spend less $. Oh well! At least I won't be getting a false + and getting a super letdown!


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## SleepyOwl

Glad you figured that out sooner rather than later. Can't wait for some new test results :)


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## lauren26

Sleepy - Me too! i really wanted to use them all up right away, lol, but that would be pointless since it's night time and I already got my BFN for the day! 

I am totally the same with feeling completely optimistic for other people but not myself!! I think part of it is that we've been getting our periods for years and years and, at least for me, it's so hard to imagine just not getting it. I also tend to believe that things that are easy for some people will be automatically be harder for me...I guess that's not the most helpful thought! 

Excited to hear where everyone is at tomorrow! Sleepy, the cramps don't necessarily mean anything...I know that I would totally jump to conclusions, too, but I have seen a lot of charts on FF lately that showed cramping before a BFP. Just sayin'!


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## SashimiMimi

Wow! I missed so much today not being online! I went on a bit of a shopping spree seeing as I start my new job next week. (I've been working from home for the past year and living in yoga pants, so new office clothes are a must!) I admit it was a good distraction from my 2ww roller coaster, but a big part of me hopes none of these clothes fit in a few months with a bfp.

Lauren what you said about spotting is interesting. I tend to spot a few days before AF and I'm always in denial that it's game over. My doctor said the progesterone I'm taking should help with spotting, but seeing as spotting is a side affect I don't know what to think. I've had spotting nearly every day since the IUI. Another side affect is vivid dreams and every night I've dreamed about something really wacky... Like eating a huge plates of raw salmon, getting AF and it gushing out like Niagara Falls (sorry TMI), getting into fistfights with friends, etc., I wake up exhausted from having such vivid and detailed dreams!

While out shopping I hunted for the fertility book but couldn't find it, so I think I will order it online. Sleepy, I remember you saying before that your sister had 4 IUIs just like my SIL did. I have found my SIL to be so helpful and such an amazing listener during this TTC process. Like Sleepy's sister she never asks unless I volunteer info, and she gives great advice on dealing with the emotional ups and downs.

Tried to speak to OH about what to say when and if our friends ask how our TTC is coming along. He seemed to get a little annoyed at first, again stating that I'm putting way too much pressure on myself. I explained along the lines of what you guys said... That assisted conception is a very emotional thing and I need to feel protected. I explained that as women we have to deal with fertility every single month, whereas men just kind of show up with their swimmers. So it's an entirely different experience dealing with the BFN for women, at least in my own situation.

All this talk about POAS is making me feel like my HPT is burning a hole in my bathroom cupboard. I was going to wait until Friday to use it, but I think I might just go for it tomorrow. Friday is a holiday and I think I rather test when I'm home by myself. I'll still go to my clinic on Saturday for the PG blood test, but why not POAS if I can!


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## countrygirl86

I'm excited for you all! Sounds like we're all in the waiting pattern. I thought AF would have shown by now but it should definitely be today or tomorrow at the latest. If not, I've gotten everything wrong! 

Lauren - I haven't heard of Wondfo. I'm in Canada and the only place I could find to order them was early-pregnancy-tests.com. It's amazing the roller coaster ride we go through! Fx for you!

Sleepy - I feel the same, I've had small crampy twinges all week which is why I'm so surprised I haven't seen AF. Maybe this is the month for us?

Sashimi - My DH is the same, he doesn't realize that WE go through it all every cycle, it's the waiting and stressing! If I still don't have AF tomorrow I'll be joining you testing. Good luck this weekend with your friends :)

Happy Easter everybody!


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## SashimiMimi

Well... BFN on the HPT. But... It it is really early for testing. Sigh!!!!


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## SleepyOwl

Hoping its too early still Sashimi! Has anyone else tested? Countrygirl - has AF showed yet? 

My symptoms are normal PMS symptoms now. The exact same way I feel every month before AF rears her ugly face. My sister said when she got her BFP she swore it was AF and didn't feel different at all, so I guess there is still hope. Not testing until AF is late though.


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## lauren26

Sashimi - it IS early for testing! Don't give up yet :) 

I have been having those dreams, too!! Did I write to you all about having the dream where I had a super period in my friend's parents' bed? On their family reunion? Lol. I had a bunch last night as well. Anyway, glad you got a shopping spree, Sashimi! That sounds fun and relaxing. 

Did your OH understand in the end? You and Country are right--the men just show up and enjoy!! My OH periodically tells me that my 'underlying stress' around TTC affects him. This never fails to be really triggering for me! I try very hard not to take him with me on my roller-coaster, and I feel like it's impossible for me not to get a little stressed. He knows I'll have feelings about TTC but says the stress isn't helpful. I don't know if it's possible for me to remain stress-free during this process. 

Country - We are totally all in the same testing window!! Are you officially late now, or is AF due tomorrow? Fx for you!!


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## lauren26

Sleepy - My SIL said basically the same thing, and said that she didn't get a + until the day AF was due, and even then it was very faint. She got a stronger one the next day. 

My tests were kind of inconclusive today...I bought a few different brands from Target since my Wondfos are apparently not to be trusted any more. One set is blue line tests, so I'm not sure I can trust those, either! Thought I saw a faint something on the blue line but it very well could be the antibody strip and I also know that they are known for giving false positives. I used blue line when I was first TTC last year and they were confusing--the evap lines are so similar in color to the normal lines. Anyway. I used an FRER and, again, though I saw something very faint so I broke the test open to see it better and ended up breaking the part where I'd be able to see the result. Sigh. :) That just means another day of waiting!! 

I have a teeny bit more brown/yellow/pink CM this AM, but still only when I check my cervix. I have super Fx, but really really really trying not to put any stock in the unusual lack of cramps and spotting. 

I am with you, Sleepy--I feel like I should really force myself not to test for a few more days. It's too confusing and too easy to draw inaccurate conclusions (for me)!


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## countrygirl86

It is definitely early Sashimi! Lots of time for you to get it. I tested Monday just cause I was excited which I think would have been 10dpo but nothing.

Sleepy, no AF yet and it doesn't feel like she's coming today. She usually comes in the morning or (TMI) after a BM and nothing. When are you due for AF?

Lauren, I'm not really sure to be honest! I figure I O'd on the 22nd which would make me late today. I didn't start temping till that day so FF has me due for AF on Monday or Tuesday but I didn't have any O symptoms the day they think I did so I'm just completely lost lol I'm just going to test tomorrow morning with fmu if nothing by then. Your spotting sounds like it could be promising? Or totally confusing? lol


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## SleepyOwl

countrygirl86 said:


> It is definitely early Sashimi! Lots of time for you to get it. I tested Monday just cause I was excited which I think would have been 10dpo but nothing.
> 
> Sleepy, no AF yet and it doesn't feel like she's coming today. She usually comes in the morning or (TMI) after a BM and nothing. When are you due for AF?
> 
> Lauren, I'm not really sure to be honest! I figure I O'd on the 22nd which would make me late today. I didn't start temping till that day so FF has me due for AF on Monday or Tuesday but I didn't have any O symptoms the day they think I did so I'm just completely lost lol I'm just going to test tomorrow morning with fmu if nothing by then. Your spotting sounds like it could be promising? Or totally confusing? lol

Do you think you'll test soon or wait it out for a bit longer? I'm due for AF on Monday. If she's late I won't test until Tuesday or Wednesday thought. Just in case it's some sort of cruel joke. 

Lauren - Everyone says those blue dye tests are so difficult to read. [email protected] you breaking the other test. Someone's eager!! The things we do when TTC, I swear. 

I'm glad we're all due/testing around the same time. I hope one of us gets our BFP...then she can pass her good luck on until we all have one :)


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## countrygirl86

I think I'm going to test tomorrow morning Sleepy. I have 14 cheapies left so might as well use em! At least until I get to know my body better (hopefully next month). 

I probably won't make it on much this weekend with all the Easter festivities but Happy Easter to you ladies and hopefully I'll see a BFP from one (or all) of you if I do pop on! Good luck and fx for you all!


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## SashimiMimi

My AF is due to arrive on Tuesday, so at least we will all be able to deal with it together (potentially). Having you ladies as TTC buddies has really helped me not get overly down about the BFN this morning. I know there is still hope that it might be too early to tell, but I'm preparing myself either way.

On one hand you would think the odds would have been in my favor this month having had the HSG which supposedly increases your chances by clearing out your tubes, I know it was timed perfectly and my "hostile" CM was bypassed by the IUI. But I guess it's like any cycle of TTC with a 20% chance of success. 

Lauren I'm not sure OH will ever completely understand. He tries his best and he tries to cheer me up, but I absolutely cannot relax about the whole thing, or just have fun as people say. Lol! 

I hope everyone has a great Easter weekend. Thanks again for keeping me sane during this 2ww!


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## lauren26

I will be gone, too, some of the weekend but will probably pop on and off--this forum reminds me that sanity exists, lol. I hope you ladies have a great Easter, too!

Country, you must let us know what happens tomorrow morning!! Seeing double lines for you :)

Sashimi, I don't think it's possible for them to fully relate. I suppose it's not their fault!

Sleepy, Yes......very eager! :) I had read that someone could see the line better when they got their faint BFP after opening the test because the shiny window sometimes makes it hard to see. Either way, I guess I want to hold out for a really solid +!


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## lauren26

Still BFN for me, y'all! I'm starting to feel out this cycle. I will test again on Sun if AF hasn't showed. Fx that one of us gets good news soon!


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## countrygirl86

I got a BFN this morning but I did expect that. Just hoping AF shows up soon so we can get started working on next cycle!

Let us know how it goes Sunday for you lauren, wouldn't that be a nice Easter Sunday surprise!


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## SleepyOwl

Hey ladies! I'll be gone this weekend as well - prob won't check in until Monday when I get back from the in-laws. I hope I see some BFP's on this thread. Fingers crossed for all of us :)


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Ladies, hope you are all enjoying your Easter Weekend. I got the results of the PG test... BFFN for me. I was preparing myself for this, but I'm still a little deflated. On to cycle #10 of TTC. Hope you all have better luck than me with testing.


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## lauren26

Sashimi - Isn't AF due on Tues for you? You're not out yet!! I know how you feel, though, another BFN for me this AM and I woke up last night with a little back ache and some reddish spots. She's not here yet but I'm preparing myself for her arrival. 

Fx for us all in the 11th hour!


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## lauren26

Thanks, Country. I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend!


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## lauren26

No sign yet. Super Fx. You guys will probably not be reading this tonight but I needed an outlet!! I am seriously hanging onto hope this month until the very last possible minute, lol. Happy Easter, y'all!


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## SashimiMimi

Keeping my fingers crossed for you too, Lauren! I'm definitely out though, the blood test at my fertility clinic confirmed that the IUI was a fail and there is no hCG in my blood. (They can tell even a few days before AF is due.) I was told to stop taking the progesterone and that AF would probably arrive between 2 and 5 days. If its on schedule it will be Tuesday.

I'm feeling better today after having had a really good cry yesterday. I was kind of expecting it to be negative after having the two BFN on HPT. But when they call and confirm, that little glimmer of hope goes away and it was a little heartbreaking. So I'm ready to try again and I'm determined to get a BFP! Seeing my niece and nephew yesterday really helped, they are both reminders that perfect babies really do come along after long battles with TTC.

How is everyone else doing?


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## lauren26

Sashimi, That's a great and inspiring attitude!! The really good thing is that you know of more than one case where IUI was successfully relatively quickly, and you guys have already started the method that works for you! Fx for you this cycle--full steam ahead! :) I am seeing my nieces and nephew today, so hopefully that will boost my spirit. 

I had another BFN this morning, and a giant cramp that went away with a mess of ibuprofen. A little spotting after BM (sorry TMI), but nothing much on the tampon yet. I know I'm technically not out yet, but a BFN at 13dpo with cramping and spots is not promising! For my sanity I'm waving the white flag. OH and I have decided to take next month to NTNP in hopes that it will help me relax a bit. I hope that's true!! I will still be on the forum. And of course will still be trying, just not as hard I suppose. Lol. 

I hope Country and Sleepy got good news this weekend! If not, at least we're in it together another month :)


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## lauren26

I'm out. AF showed up nice and bright this evening. Feeling OK but still sad and wondering if I'll ever see those double lines! When I had the chemical last month I didn't get a faint + until the morning I was having the mc and then it showed up outside the time window. I told this to my doc and she still felt confident it was a pg, but sometimes I doubt it due to my overall doubt each month when AF comes...Feeling discouraged, ladies! But I also can't give up TTC, so I guess I have to keep hoping it'll happen. 

Hope you all had a great weekend.


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## SashimiMimi

Hey Lauren, sorry to hear AF showed up. But like you said, we are all in this together! The BFN is disappointing, but I know a BFP is going to happen for us... We just don't know when! I start my new job tomorrow, so I'm off to bed. I'll post again tomorrow evening and hopefully we can all catch up.

On a side note, I'm not having my usual AF symptoms since going off the progesterone. It's like my boobs deflated (they were sore and huge up until yesterday). The nurse at the clinic said AF would show up in 2-5 days, but Im kinda ready to get the show on the road here!!
More tomorrow!! Xoxoxo


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## SleepyOwl

I missed you all! Sorry to hear about the bad news weekend :( At least we have each other???

Sashimi: I know the weekend had to be difficult, but you seem like you were really able to pick yourself up afterwards and that's great to here. Excited to hear how your new job is going. Hoping it's great!

Lauren: You'll see those double lines again - just a matter of when, right? When it happens (fx for sooner), it will be perfect!!

Country: Any good news?? 

Unfortunately, I don't really have any good news to add. AF is due today but doesn't usually show til the evening. Had pink EWCM last night and every time I've been to the bathroom today plus AF cramps. I get this every month before she arrives. Plus BFN this morning. Pretty good indicators I'm out for the month. Cried for a bit yesterday when the pink CM showed and because of my OH's family hammering me with baby questions. Over it now though and feeling only slightly emotional - blaming it on PMS. 

One month closer to our BFPs right ladies?


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## lauren26

Well, ladies! Sounds like we're all in for another round together--good news during a time of bad news! And I assume we'll all be on similar timelines again, right? I really appreciate that you guys are keeping up the hope right now that we'll see our BFPs--I can't quite muster it yet. I probably need to cry it out a little--I didn't want to upset OH last night so I put on a happy face. Anyway, thanks for being so great! I feel like I can always count on this thread for support. :)

I saw my nieces, nephew, and other in-laws yesterday. My SIL had texted me a couple of weeks again saying, 'I had a dream that you told me you were pregnant. I bet that's a reality for you soon.' It was sweet and well intentioned--I think this is an area where she knows how to bond (kids)--but also difficult since she got pg with all three of her kids on the first try. When I saw her yesterday she was really sweet and wanted to ask me all about TTC, and then loaned me her 'fertility god' statue. Again, it was a nice gesture, but it did make me feel like an idiot--like I have to resort to archaic superstition because it's so hard for me to get pg. And before we left, in front of all our family, she was like, 'Don't forget the fertility god!' I think I really have a lot of embarrassment around not being pg. A few weeks ago I briefly lit upon the subject with my MIL--how it's taking us so long and it took my SIL and her OH no time at all--and she told me that since OH and I are spiritually inclined and self-investigative that the answer as to why we're not pg 'won't be as easy' for us. I was like, great, so I have to pay for my good intentions by not being pregnant? Lol. And there's some deep spiritual reason I'm not but I have no idea what it is? Oh my. It can really be exhausting. I feel like I've tried every trick in the book--PreSeed, Mucinex, dozens of vitamins, acupuncture, exercise, fertility diet, prayer, visioning, laying down for 30 min after BD, BD every day, BD every other day, OH taking vitamins...I honestly don't know what else I can try! It seems so unfair that the women I know IRL who are my age have gotten pregnant in the absolute unhealthiest states. And on accident. And repeatedly. I think this is why my OH wants us to NTNP this month--so that we will both be more relaxed. I really, honestly, don't know if it's possible for me to let go that much. I feel like I have to chart and have to do OPKs. Hmmm. I think that my OH is going to be mostly unavailable during my fertile window, so I may _have_ to relax about it and try to give up a little control!


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## SleepyOwl

It definitely is exhausting. Umm I would have been so embarrassed if someone shouted at me about a fertility god in front of a bunch of family or people. Like gee thanks for totally putting my business out there. Of course I'm sure she had the best intentions because I'm sure she knows how it feels to want to be pregnant, just on the execution that stuff comes out wrong. I know how you feel when you say you feel embarrassed. I feel so embarrassed and I know I shouldn't, but I really do :( My MIL is always telling me, OH, and her sister that she just doesn't understand why God isn't giving her a grandchild and she just prays for it everyday. Then she'll look at me and be like I just don't know why, I just don't know why. I hate it. Worst feeling and it makes me resent her so much. 

Hopefully the NTNP this month will do the trick. That's what OH wants to do as well, so basically I'm keeping my mouth shut and doing the all out thing myself and just keeping him in the dark so he thinks we are NTNP. I just don't feel like I can afford time wise to do that this month. I feel like my eggs are getting old!!


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## lauren26

Sleepy, LOL. I am SURE that your eggs are not OLD. That said, I think I might try your plan, too--secretly trying but convincing OH I'm NTNP. 

Your MIL sounds awful! I'm sorry to say that--but wow! I dont' see how you couldn't resent her. I absolutely adore my MIL. My actual mother is a different story...I love her but can't talk to her about these things. Anyway, even though my MIL is amazing she still says things that seem insensitive about TTC--I can't imagine having a rude MIL say them to me! I'm sorry. I'm glad your OH understood that she crossed the line, though, as you said in your TTC journal. I bet it helps to know he's behind you. 

I think the embarrassment is natural, but it feels rotten. I think it makes me feel like I'm not feminine, or not nurturing or something. Anyway. I know it's silly, too. But it's difficult. TTC is like any other goal in life that you try to achieve and expect to achieve--except that you really, in the end, cannot MAKE it happen like you can some other things. I think that's where my embarrassment comes in--just admitting to myself and the world that I can't control the situation and that I feel like I'm failing. I know I can't look at it like that but it feels that way sometimes. 

Anyway. Your eggs are NOT old. But I understand not wanting to waste time.


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren, that's exactly what it is. The embarrassment comes from a feeling of failure. Hopefully we can overcome those feelings, keep a positive attitude and just keep up the BD'ing! 

Dude, my MIL is a kook. I am always biting my tongue around her - she's a bit older and I think part of it is cultural. So I know that's part of it, but STILL. Ridic. 

Thanks for not thinking my eggs are old :) They will be 30 this year, you know, lol. One of those suckers needs to get fertilized this year!


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## haribo813

Oh my god, I am totally the same as you - aged 30 and it's been 8 months for us too. I'd love to be buddies. Everyone else is the same with me too-how you need to relax and almost stop trying and then it'll happen...but i can't take my mind off it! I am seeing an acupuncturist for the first time on Wed and have bought a fertility monitor but it arrived too late to use this cycle :( If you have any tips on things to do to take your mind off it-lemme know! Will keep fingers crossed for you xxx


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## lauren26

Sleepy, I know, I know, I SO know how you feel, and I'm not 30 yet!! STILL. I have plenty of friends who conceived healthy, beautiful babies at 36, 37, 38, even 41. None of us want to wait another 5-10 years, but if we HAD to.....it could still happen! 

It's generous and helpful to recognize the cultural stuff. :) No one tries to be a jerk, but you know. I'm glad you can separate her crazy from your reality!! When if your bday?

The feeling of failure is really tough. Hopefully it's teaching me some great life lesson, lol. 

Haribo - Welcome!!! Yay new buddy! The thing that helped me start to relax a bit was charting (temping, using OPK, checking CM). That part was to give me concrete evidence that my body is normal and my cycle is healthy. Now that I've done that, the charting can sometimes feel oppressive and stressful. It's really personal, but I think for me, since I'm such a rigid rule-follower sometimes, the key will be in letting myself do things I'm not supposed to--I really do want to try and not time sex this month, and will let myself have a glass of wine when I want, etc. Also, I have been trying to keep my feelings from OH and the other day I just broke down. He had no idea I'd been holding so much, and asked that we spend time at 11am each day (he has a very strange work schedule!) to talk about TTC and parenting and just connect. We've only done that a few days so far but I feel a MILLION times better. The other thing I decided to start doing this morning is to really watch my thoughts around TTC--every time I think those thoughts like, 'This will never happen, I don't deserve this, I'll never see those beautiful pink lines together,' etc, I will just say 'STOP!' to those thoughts. I've done this with other things and it's helped immensely. It sounds a little woo-woo or new-agey, I know, but it has helped me many times. 

Keep us posted!


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## countrygirl86

Hope everyone had a good Easter!

Sashimi: Bummer about the BFN, it's gotta be tough to take but it will only make you stronger and when that BFP comes, it'll be that much sweeter. Hope you are having a good first day at the new job!

Lauren: NTNP might be a needed break. At the same time, if you feel like you should be charting, that might not be a bad idea to keep up on just for yourself to know where you are! Do you have regular cycles? That fertility god thing would have totally mortified me too, nice gesture but bad/terrible timing. 

Sleepy: Aren't emotions lovely? Mine are starting to come in like a roller coaster too. I also share the crazy MIL with you. I can't take mine too seriously though, she has a strange way of expressing herself (not to mention she's going through menopause pretty hard right now). Hopefully NTNP will work for you too.

Haribo: Welcome! This is a great thread, the ladies are so caring and supportive :) 

AFM, still no official AF, some very light spotting yesterday and today but nothing else. I'm at CD40 which is the longest I've gone since the first one when I came off the pill! I also have a cold sore starting on my lip which always makes me feel crappy. Today or tomorrow is when FF thinks AF will start so if nothing by Wednesday I guess I'll test again? I'm thinking she'll come pretty full force soon though. Oh the joys of TTC!


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## haribo813

Wow, what a great group of ladies! I have just read ALL your threads (21 pages!) and it took me the whole time since I posted (plus I fit in a bowl of pasta courtesy of OH before running away like a hermit back to my Mac!) :flower:

Sorry you've all had a bad couple of days - it's horrid when AF comes and you feel the crushing disappointment-I am a bit ahead (or behind?!) you as am on CD 8 and all I can think is how I feel a million times better now than this time last week and i'm sure it's true for all of us-AF throws your hormones around and you feel so resentful to have a monthly reminder of fact you're not pg.

So much on here rings true for me-my sis has a gorgeous 6 month old who I adore but sometimes find hard to be around, my SIL is pregnant by accident, all of my OH's cousins are pregnant and 2 of my best friends are pregnant and due the same week (1 in her 1st month of trying)...plus I have an inquisitive MIL. Surrounded by babies and feel so inadequate a lot of the time. 

I came off the pill in August after being on it for about 10 years, and am about to see a doctor this week to see if anything's wrong and start acupuncture-Sashimi your story has been so helpful-to know the tests available and how useful acupuncture was for you....and I can imagine your relief that you are now doing things differently, fingers crossed for you. I am sure I have a problem with EWCM as it's pretty scant. Having said that I had implantation bleeding 3 months ago and then nothing appeared, was devastated at time but trying to cling on to hope-it's a good sign it happened at all i suppose.

I haven't charted so far but am about to start-I have found Toni Weschler's book really useful too and was cross i didn't know more sooner, plus 1 of my well-meaning pregnant friends lent me the baby making bible book so will give that a whirl too-that prescribes certain foods at certain times of the cycle depending on your type-it's a mix of western and chinese medicine-we shall see. Am also thinking of taking up a project of some sort-painting or something to try and take my mind off it. Book also suggests positive affirmations and meditation-feel like a loon but have started doing both plus love yoga these days.

Wishing early 2013 babies for all of us - 13 has always been lucky in our family and hoping it will be for all of us :happydance:

xxx


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## lauren26

Country - Wow!! That's such good news--I'm hoping your BFN is coming :) :) :) That is a late period by any standard, I think. 

Haribo - I am impressed!! That's a lot of pages :) I'm glad it helped to read what we've got on here so far and that you've joined us. You certainly have a lot of reminders around you--that sounds super tough. I don't see my friends' and family members' children all that often, so I don't have as constant of a reminder. Still, they ALL talk about being pg, having kids, etc. when I do see them. 

I am with you--the hormonal rollercoaster is ROUGH. All of my good intentions about staying calm and hopeful are OUT the window the morning AF comes!! I feel like I at least know now that I will feel totally gutted for a day or two around AF starting and that this feeling will be followed by a hopeful one, lol. Also, I am SO into the positive affirmations and meditation. I really just started doing that this month. I probably mentioned this a few posts ago (or every single time I post ;)) that even though I'm almost 100% sure I had a legit chemical two cycles ago, I have this really deep belief that I just can't and won't be pregnant. A few mornings ago I did an FRER and as the dye was soaking across the test strip it turned the test line pink for a solid 10-15 seconds and then disappeared. This is normal, I think, but I noticed myself have a moment of total joy that was immediately followed by this intense disbelief. That could be because I understood somewhere that tests sometimes do that while they are 'developing', lol, but I also noticed that I just cannot even imagine actually getting that solid + hpt. Anyway! I think the meditation helps a lot--if only to adjust my mindset to a more positive, hopeful one. 

Wow, I can't stop today :) Sashimi, I hope you're having a great day at your new job!!


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## SleepyOwl

Welcome Haribo!! Glad to have you join us on our little adventure :) I'm with you on 13 being lucky - this is going to be our year for babies ladies!!

Lauren: I turn 30 in Sept! Praying to the good Lord I have a bump by then! I'm with you on the positive thinking and affirmations. I haven't done this yet, but am going to really make an effort this month along with my new yoga and meditation plan. I really think I have been so negative about the process and so pessimistic about it. I'm determined to be different this cycle.


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## lxb

Can I join you girls too? :)

Unlike haribo... I didn't read all the pages! I only read the first 3 and the last 3! :blush:
Seems like there are a group of lovely ladies here with similar age too! :flower:


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## SleepyOwl

LXB - You slacker - not reading all the pages! Juuust kidding. The more the merrier - makes it a lot easier to make it through each day/cycle when we have each other. Also makes me feel alot less crazy when I know there are so many lovely ladies on here that can relate.


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## lxb

:blush: Yep.. I feel so much better knowing I'm not the only one that goes google crazy during tww! and still google crazy before that.

I've been googling what could help with conceiving! haha.. and put all the items on my grocery list! :blush:


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## lauren26

Hey lxb! Welcome :) I am a super Googler, too!! I tend to get contradictory info, but sometimes I hit the mark! How long have you been TTC?


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## lxb

This cycle will be cycle #7~

Been so envy whenever I see people with BFP news... I have some friends complaining about how sick they are from being preggo. And in my head.. I was thinking... "I want to be sick too!!" :blush:

I have a friend (who knew DH & I are TTC) asked me.. "I thought you wanted a 2012 baby? Are you guys trying?"
Funny question. . . . it's not like I can have a baby the moment I want a baby. :-\


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## SleepyOwl

LXB: It's so crazy to me when people ask things like that. They must really not understand that we have barely any control over the process.


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## lauren26

It's amazing that some people don't realize what a MIRACLE it is that people get pregnant at all!! That's one positive aspect of not getting pg right away--that I have realized that it's truly a scientific and spiritual miracle. It's magic! Truly incredible. Anyway. I guess people who get pg instantly can't relate--I can't say I wouldn't want that problem :)


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## SleepyOwl

Totally agree Lauren. I never really understood how amazing the whole process was until I started TTC. It truly is a miracle!


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## lauren26

:) Makes me want to just keep trying!! Ahhhh!!!!!! How am I going to NTNP this month?? The things I commit to to try and stay sane and keep OH content...


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## SashimiMimi

TTC buddies, I can&#8217;t even begin to tell you what a joy it was to log on tonight and see so many posts&#8212;especially from some new ladies! Welcome Haribo and lxb&#8230; it&#8217;s great to meet some new ladies who are in the same boat. As you probably read in my earlier posts, I&#8217;m also 30 and have been TTC for 9 months. (Haribo, I&#8217;m completely touched that you took the time to read ALL of the posts here! When I first put the call out for a buddy, I would have been happy with one person responding. I&#8217;m thrilled that we are now past 200 threads on this buddy post!)

Well, I hope you don&#8217;t mind a long post from my end, but I think I am going to write a novel here. Let me start off by saying that first day on the new job was great. I&#8217;m feeling absolutely fantastic today and I think working with this company is actually going to be a good distraction. Initially, I was worried about going back to work as my plan after quitting my old job was to stay home, de-stress and start a family&#8230; obviously that hasn&#8217;t happened yet, but I guess that&#8217;s why they say life doesn&#8217;t always happen like you plan it.

It&#8217;s been a particularly emotional weekend on my end. Today is the one year anniversary of my MIL passing away from cancer. She was such an amazing, vivacious woman, and it&#8217;s so hard to believe that she is gone. If we had succeeded the first time we TTCed, our baby would have been due this month. I really wished that we would have had a BFP by now as we reached this 1 year anniversary mark, but I guess that just isn&#8217;t meant to be. I&#8217;m sad she won&#8217;t be around for when we do FINALLY have our baby, because she was such an amazing grandmother to OH&#8217;s nephews. Plus it&#8217;s been such a tough year for OH, his dad and his siblings, I want more than anything to share some BFP news with them.

On Friday we had those friends over I mentioned in an earlier post. (I had worried they would grill us about our TTC progress.) Well, it took all of 5 minutes for the wife to ask me why I was drinking water and &#8220;Did I have anything I wanted to tell them.&#8221; Steam nearly started to come out of my ears, but then I thought to myself what do I have to hide? This is my path and maybe if they knew we were seeing a fertility specialist they wouldn&#8217;t be so quick to assume that drinking water=BFP!!! I know their intentions are not to be rude and since they didn&#8217;t take long to conceive (even though wife is 39), they probably just assume we haven&#8217;t &#8220;relaxed or had fun&#8221; yet. So we told them the story and they were surprised that we didn&#8217;t wait the magical 1 year milestone of TTC before seeing a doctor and the wife didn&#8217;t understand why I was so stressed because she said I&#8217;m so young and have so much time. I guess she is right, even though I feel the clock is ticking. If I were closer to her age and not seeing my BFP after all this time, maybe then I could feel legitimate pressure. 
Saturday as you know, I got the official confirmation of the BFN after IUI #1. My heart broke even though I was expecting it. Lauren, like you I just haven&#8217;t been able to picture myself pregnant so far. When I was younger, I was very intimidated by the thought of childbirth, even though now I think it is truly a miraculous experience. I feel like I&#8217;ve had to work extra hard to achieve success in my life, so I suppose TTC is just one more thing that I&#8217;m going to have to work extra hard at!! 

One thing I haven&#8217;t mentioned on this board yet, and this thing has been a bit of a struggle for me as of late, is the fact that when OH was in his early 20s (many, many years before we met) his GF at the time missed a pill and got a BFP. She terminated the pregnancy for whatever reason, but the fact my OH got someone else PG by accident is kills me just a little. I think the world of my OH, he is an amazing husband and obviously we wouldn&#8217;t be together if he had a kid, it&#8217;s been difficult to come to terms with this. This tidbit of info never really bothered me before this weekend, it was part of his past and I would have been in my teens when it actually happened. (OH is 7 years older than I am.) I got really emotional and told OH that the Universe is punishing us because of this! I know it&#8217;s not true, I just needed someone or something to blame. 

I think I hit my ultimate low this past weekend during my entire TTC phase. But when you go down, the only way to go is back up. In a way, I feel stronger after this first failed IUI and I think this is the best I have felt in a long time. I&#8217;m sure I&#8217;ll have my low moments again, probably even during this coming cycle, but my BFP is just going to happen in its own time. I think each and every one of us is doing everything we can, so what more can we do? I guess this is why the so-called &#8220;best&#8221; advice everyone wants to give us is &#8220;relax and have fun.&#8221; 

I say it in every post, but I&#8217;m so glad we are all here to support each other. It really helped me get through this weekend and since we all started chatting I haven&#8217;t felt so alone. We are all in this together!!! I&#8217;m spotting a bit tonight, so I&#8217;m sure AF will show up tomorrow. Again sorry for the SUPER LONG post, and I thank anyone who took the time to read all of this! I needed the vent! Xoxo


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi, your post brought tears to my eyes! I can only imagine how emotional this past weekend must have been for you, but it's amazing the attitude that you have right now about all of it. You have picked yourself up from a low and very vulnerable place and are one step closer to your BFP. It sounds like you handled yourself perfectly with your friend. I'm hoping she lays off now. While it's true that you would probably feel more pressure if you were closer to her age, doesn't take away the fact that you feel the pressure now and want your BFP. It's such a personal and different experience for each person, I don't think she really has the right to tell you that you shouldn't feel how you feel. You can't really help that because those are your emotions, even if it is the more "logical" way. 

Really, really hoping that your BFP comes soon, especially in light of the anniversary of your MIL passing away. My grandmother, who we were very close to, passed away in February and I wish more than anything I could have been pregnant and had that joy to share in such a sad time. It's so hard, but you're right, we just have to keep at it, stay positive and in the time, our BFP's will come. 

On a lighter note, soo glad your first day went well! What a great distraction for you. That is so great and I'm happy you've found such a great company!!


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## lauren26

Sashimi! You are such an example of strength for us!! Thank you for your honest words--I think that one of the most important and helpful things during the TTC process has been knowing that I can't keep my emotions and stories about it stuffed inside--that only breeds shame and isolation. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. :hugs:

I had the exact same thing when I was younger--the thought of childbirth was horrifying. I wanted a child without the labor. Now it's a requirement for me to go through pregnancy and labor before I can be a mom--I know that makes sense to you all! My OH doesn't understand, but it feels so. important. I also, like you, have always felt that I have to work my tail off and that my achievements and success are an expectation--that excellence and perfection are the real goal--so my 'failure' with TTC has felt excruciating some months. I know it's a lesson for me. It's a rough one. And I have had to admit over and over and over that I can't 'win' at this game. I can't be the first one or best one pregnant. It's ridiculous, but it sounds like you've got some similar patterns!

The other point that I really appreciate you bringing up is that your OH got someone else pregnant. I was just considering brining up my own piece around this. In college, my OH was with a woman who I was always envious of (even now sometimes when I run into her). He got her pregnant when they were just 'fooling around'---pull & pray, I imagine. She also terminated the pregnancy. She didn't want to marry him and wasn't ready for children. While I am glad to know that he has been able to get someone pregnant at some point, I'm incredibly envious that she was able to experience this sacred and magical union with MY HUSBAND that I haven't been able to experience. It's very difficult. I think in moments of humiliation around TTC I have thought of her subconsciously. 

Anyway, thank you again for being so open. This is a really deeply affecting process. I SO SO appreciate this forum and you all <3

I'm really happy that you're enjoying your new job!! I hope it offers you joy and relaxation. Your post helped me KNOW that we will get our BFPs :)


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## countrygirl86

I'm glad your new job is great Sashimi! It's definitely positive to have something to take our minds off TTC, I know I find myself thinking about approximately all the time. My DH cut me off at breakfast one morning a couple of weeks ago to tell me I needed to think about something else. So I signed up for a zumba class! It's hilarious for anyone who hasn't tried it. 

lauren and sashimi, it would be tough to know they have been able to conceive before but the time will come for your own little miracles and that will become insignificant. It almost seems those 'accidents' are common, my cousin and SIL got pg while on the pill and using protection (so they say, I guess). My cousin aborted hers (sad time in her life) but my SIL is 25 and has an 8 year old. There's always something they can do to help you if you have fertility problems, it's just a matter of time. Sashimi you are in the best place now, receiving help. The BFN must have been hard to take, I think the stats are good within 3 cycles of IUI?

I understand what you mean wanting a baby FOR the family, my DHs grandmother is still with us and I'd think it would be so special for her to meet a great grandchild.

I'm still waiting on AF! This is getting a little/a lot ridiculous. I don't feel pg and I only have twinges where I feel like AF is coming. Normally I can tell a day or so beforehand she's coming but it only seems to come in waves. I'm still playing it by ear but I'm hoping she shows soon so we can get onto next cycle, I'm getting way behind you guys!


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## SleepyOwl

Countrygirl, I hope those twinges are good signs. Keep us posted!


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## lauren26

Country--wow! She is late! You were due before all of us, I think, right? Have you tested? I'm excited for you!! I hope it's a really good sign :) :) 

You're right--when our babies come I won't care that OH got the other girl pg. And it really did comfort me when we started trying to know that he had gotten someone else pg before--though it was a long time ago, so he's still getting an SA done. 

I really felt the need to take my mind off of TTC, too. That's why I mentioned NTNP to OH. Of course I'll still let him know when I'm getting fertile CM and we'll BD accordingly, but no temping, and maybe on the OPKs....

Speaking of this ladies: tell me honestly, am I CRAZY to be NTNP this month?? I really do feel like it will help OH and I let go and surrender to the process a bit, but another part of me feels like I can't waste any time, and don't want to potentially miss our window this month if we're not timing BD just right. What do you all think?


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## lxb

Great news about your new job sashimi. And yes, the only direction from now on is up. And I'm wishing you the best and all the lovely ladies here. We will all get our miracles :flower: This is definitely a place to vent. and we all love to listen (or read in this case! :)) 

countrygirl, perhaps no sign is a good sign! :) 

lauren, sometimes taking some time off is a good thing. put u & ur OH first before anything else. enjoy each other. :winkwink: maybe BD everyday or every other day to cover all 'bases'? :)


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## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> Country--wow! She is late! You were due before all of us, I think, right? Have you tested? I'm excited for you!! I hope it's a really good sign :) :)
> 
> You're right--when our babies come I won't care that OH got the other girl pg. And it really did comfort me when we started trying to know that he had gotten someone else pg before--though it was a long time ago, so he's still getting an SA done.
> 
> I really felt the need to take my mind off of TTC, too. That's why I mentioned NTNP to OH. Of course I'll still let him know when I'm getting fertile CM and we'll BD accordingly, but no temping, and maybe on the OPKs....
> 
> Speaking of this ladies: tell me honestly, am I CRAZY to be NTNP this month?? I really do feel like it will help OH and I let go and surrender to the process a bit, but another part of me feels like I can't waste any time, and don't want to potentially miss our window this month if we're not timing BD just right. What do you all think?

I definitely don't think you're crazy to NTNP this month. First if it's going to help OH that's definitely a good thing. And second SOO many women say they "give up" or "take a break" and get their BFP that month. If it helps the two of you relax and you're just having fun and enjoying each other, you're still going to have a good a shot at your BFP. I know what you mean though about feeling like your wasting time - just make sure to BD a couple times in your fertile window and I think you'll be fine!


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## lxb

lauren26 said:


> It's amazing that some people don't realize what a MIRACLE it is that people get pregnant at all!! That's one positive aspect of not getting pg right away--that I have realized that it's truly a scientific and spiritual miracle. It's magic! Truly incredible. Anyway. I guess people who get pg instantly can't relate--I can't say I wouldn't want that problem :)

agree lauren. we won't be here if that's the case. :haha:

DH told me last night a coworker ask him every single day.. "any news yet?"
and said his coworker said him & his wife got pregnant right away. and his so-and-so got pregnant right away... 

:growlmad: <== DH

some people are just insensitive


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## countrygirl86

I agree with Sleepy, you definitely aren't crazy to NTNP lauren! If you need to take this cycle a little differently, do it. It may be just what you need to make it all happen. If you decide after next cycle you feel better actively TTC you can resume temping and OPKs then. It's only one cycle and it sounds like your mental and emotional health will greatly benefit from it!

Yes I thought I was due for AF April 4 which would have put me 2 weeks past when I had 2 days of 'slippery spotting' but we didn't time BDing right for that anyway, then FF shows that I most likely O'd on Mar 27 but I didn't have any EWCM or anything, just that my temps went up after. I tested last Monday and Friday, and I think I'll test again Saturday morning if nothing for the rest of the week.


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## haribo813

Yes, fingers crossed Countrygirl, keep us posted. And I want to hear about Zumba! I have only heard good things...

Lauren I think Sleepyowl and the others are right, I'm sure some time away from temps and OPKs will do you the world of good. I think we all need to take a new approach now and again as TTC can be pretty hard work! My sis took her mind of it after months of pent up frustration, had sex once that month and voila, my niece was conceived. 

Sashimi, brilliant news on your job and glad it's a welcome distraction. So sorry about your MIL but know how proud she'd be of you and your OH and am sure she's rooting for you both and your little family.

I am trying to take time to be a better sister, friend, wife, daughter etc this month and not be quite as self-obsessed as i have been recently. Maybe if I'm really positive I can turn this whole negative thing into a positive. But it's not easy when everyone seems to be getting pregnant and you feel like you are being punished (the other week i thought maybe we're not meant to be parents, maybe someone's telling us something?). I suppose that was ridiculous but if anything good can come out of this whole horrid process maybe it's that we'll come out of it more patient, stronger, better and grateful people (and mothers?!). Or am i being ridiculous again? (Quite possibly).

Now the evenings are getting a bit lighter and it's a bit warmer it's the perfect excuse to wear nicer, more BD friendly clothes :happydance:

We've got into a boxset so planning a dins at home tonight, a little wine and hopefully one thing will lead to another.

Hope you all have good evenings xxx


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## haribo813

Also meant to say lxb, that work colleague sounds toxic. Who does that? So many smug, hurtful people out there. Today my work colleagues joked maybe i was pregnant (cos i have a dr's appointment on thu to try and get checked out) - it was so far from the truth i wanted to cry! xx


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## lxb

haribo813 said:


> I suppose that was ridiculous but if anything good can come out of this whole horrid process maybe it's that we'll come out of it more patient, stronger, better and grateful people (and mothers?!). Or am i being ridiculous again? (Quite possibly).

couldn't have agreed more! :thumbup:


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## Jaynie82

Ladies!

This is my first post, been stalking for a couple of weeks but only just signed up last night. 
Just started 3rd cycle and currently on CD9 and I think I ovulated CD10 last month so starting to look at CM the last few days! its only the last 2 months I feel like i am getting slightly obsessed.... every niggle/cramp start searching the internet and PMS and pregnancy are so similar.. 
Planning to try and stay calm and not think about it. Anyone in the same boat?? How can I stay sane!!!


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## lxb

:wave: Jaynie

Yes, we are ALL in the same boat! haha... 
this forum... these lovely ladies helped me stay sane!! and also support from DH too. :)


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## SleepyOwl

Welcome Jaynie! Lxb is right - we are all in the same boat :) We're all happy to hear you obsess and hopefully try to help you stay calm hehe!


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## lauren26

I love this thread!! Thank you so much, ladies. You're right--my priorities are 1. my marriage, 2. children, 3. career. Thank you for the wonderful reminders. It will just be one cycle (unless I love NTNP!), and I do think it will take the edge off a little. It will give OH a break--I don't think he realized until recently that he really has feelings about TTC, too. Men. The things they discover much later... lol.

Haribo - I have SO often felt that we're not 'meant' to be parents since we didn't get pg right away--and it IS crazy!! I can relate and I can also say for all of us that it's just NOT true. 

Having interacted with you all on this thread I know how wonderful you all must be IRL and I know that we will all be great mothers. :hugs:


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## lauren26

Hi Jaynie! Welcome. :) We are def in the same boat, lol.


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## SashimiMimi

Thank you for all the kind words, ladies! It's nice to openly discuss these things and not be judged. 

Lauren, I can't believe both our OH's had previous accidental PG experiences when they were younger. Hearing your story is really helping me come to terms with the whole topic. Aborition is such a sensitive issue and it's not something I can really vent to friends and family about if you know what I mean. 

By the way, there have been quite a few months where we NTNP. You know your own body and can intuitively feel when you will O, so you don't need the OPKs and temping. I gave up the OPKs when my tap water was about to ovulate! You know the week when your window will likely be, so do what some of the other ladies recommend... Try every day that week or every other.

Sleepy, I didn't mean to bring tears to your eyes! But honestly my positive attitude has improved immensely since joining this board. I think it's so easy to get into a dark place with the frustration of TTC. It starts with little things like every single person from high school showing off their baby bumps on Facebook, endless status updates and pics of their kids, running into pregnant women and people with kids at the grocery store, etc. Then the whole feeling that it's never going to happen, undeserving, it can make your mind feel very toxic.

Then there are the ridculous comments such as the ones lxb mentioned like "But I thought you were having a 2012 baby." Or people ask "So are you trying for a boy or a girl..." As if we have control over the BFP let alone the gender!!! I was at the dentist recently and decided not to do xrays just in case, I'm sure it would have been fine but anyway I went back for another appointment a week later and the receptionist asked me if I had any news yet. I felt like saying that I hadn't even Oed since the last appointment. People have no idea sometimes. Is that why they say ignorance is bliss?

Haribo let us know how your acupuncture appointment goes tomorrow! I think you will enjoy it, but I'll be eager to hear what you think. And yes warm weather is great for BDish style clothing!!! 

Country, sorry to hear that AF is being a pain. It's such a tease when it's late like that. And yes, knowing that a BFP would bring such joy to your loved ones (AND yourself) makes the BFNs all the more depressing. When I start thinking that way I just look at my niece and know she wouldn't be the same kid if she had been born right when SIL and my brother started TTC 3 years before she was born. She came when she was good and ready and it's so reflective of her personality now.

Welcome Jaynie!!!!! So glad you joined this thread! Good luck with this cycle.

Well, I'm on CD1. AF came right on schedule. I wish it had been a day or two late so I could have started cycle monitoring at the fertility clinic this Saturday, but I'll have to go before work on either Thursday or Friday of this week which means getting up at the crack of dawn. Whatever it takes right?

It's been a busy week, so I haven't had the chance to hunt down that Fertility book, but I wanted to know if anyone has heard of Walter Makichen or the Spirit Babies book/website. I found another post about it and checked it out. I am occasionally into new age-y psychic mystic stuff and this guy wrote a book on connecting with the spirit of the baby you are meant to have. Now it looks like the author actually died last year, which is kind of depressing but there are some inspirational podcasts on there you might want to check out. I don't take everything the author says literally, he has some hardcore fans that actually read books to the spirit of their unborn babies... But some of the podcasts deal with the topic of handling emotions and I found them very inspirational. It's kind of similar to the book The Secret which is really all about positive thinking and how thoughts affect our daily lives.

Have a great night everyone!


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## SleepyOwl

Is it weird that I feel like we're all BFFs? I told my OH to get off my computer because I had to talk to my friends aka post on this forum...lol! 

Sashimi, I've never heard of either of those, but I did a little googling (obviously) and I think I will check those out, esp with my new positive outlook this cycle! 

In light of AF showing today, OH texted me a quote saying that it was okay and we are failing our way to success...one month at a time. Made me laugh and it's so true. Failed the past 3 months, but eventually I will succeed. We all will!!


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## lauren26

Sleepy - What a great OH you have!! So supportive :) And he's right, lol. Failure is a great teacher and brings us closer to success, right?

Sashimi - I'm glad that my story helped you! Abortion is SUCH a sensitive issue. My SIL is firmly against it so OH hid the whole thing from that part of his family for a long time. I finally told her a couple of years ago and she said, 'Oh, I'm SO glad that he didn't have a child with her!' I didn't know what to say. I felt relief but also sadness because I know it was emotional for him and not his decision--he wasn't ready for a child with her but he didn't have a say in it either way, so I think he felt really overwhelmed and powerless. Anyway. I feel better that you shared your OH's past pg, too. I'm also glad to hear that you two have NTNP occasionally. I go through waves of feeling really upset about it. My RL BFF asked me yesterday, 'What's the urgency?'--it was not at all condescending or judgmental, just concerned. I explained that it's the thing I most want and that I can't wait to be a mom, and she understood, but her question also made me stop and really feel into what was going on for me, and I DO believe it'll happen, and I know the timing will be perfect. I appreciate what you shared about your niece :).

Haribo - I am loving acupuncture!! Soooooo relaxing. And I think it's working wonders for the health of my cycle. I'm excited to hear how it goes, too! I'm thinking of doing the Chinese herbs this month since I'm NTNP. I was very afraid to do them last month, but I might as well give them a shot this time around! 

Country - Fx for you still.....If AF is coming, though, I hope she shows soon so that you can get on with the BDing!! I know it's frustrating just waiting when you feel her coming. Maybe a thorough session of jumping jacks and bike riding? :) 

Sleepy - No!! I feel the same way :) My OH today got angry about me being on the forum because he thought it was upsetting me to hear about other womens' pg stories etc. I was like, NO!!!!! It's my biggest source of support! He understands now, and is excited that he doesn't have to do all the listening, lol. He's a great listener and we've been talking daily about TTC and parenting, but I think the charting and the methods etc are a bit much for him.

With the superpowers this thread gives me I feel like I'll have that BFP in no time at all! :)


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## SleepyOwl

I think I might try acupuncture. You all seem to love it! Do you just google acupuncturists? Or did you get recommendations from friends? Drs? Curious as to how to go about finding someone.


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## lxb

Hehe... What a supportive oh you have sleepyowl! :thumbsup:

DH turned to me the other day and said "you know I'll be just as happy with you either way. This is not something we live for... It is only part of our lives". Just made me smile :)

Oo... Acupuncture huh? Might have to look into that one too :)


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## SleepyOwl

lxb said:


> Duh turned to me the other day and said "you know I'll be just as happy with you either way. This is not something we live for... It is only part of our lives". Just made me smile :)

Love this! So sweet and so important to remember.


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## countrygirl86

Well the good news for me is that AF came yesterday finally! I think this is the most excited I've been about her before lol Time to get cracking on the next cycle!

Sashimi - I ordered TCOYF online through chapters (I think I remember you are in Ontario?) and it only took about 2 days to get to my house. I'll have to check that stuff you mentioned out! My job is very relaxed/boring (I know I need a new one, kind of waiting to find out what will be TTC before I make a move) so I have lots of time to google! Sucks you have to get up so early but it will all be worth it in the end. 

Sleepy - I totally feel like we're all BFF's too, since my DH told me to slow down a little I realized it's hard on him to hear me talking about it all, I think because he feels like any problems we have will be his 'fault'. I've found it easier to talk to all of you instead of going to him and getting the look lol That's such a nice quote your OH texted you! I've also started thinking about acupuncture but don't know enough about it. I also wonder if it would work for my DH since he holds in a lot of stress. Keep us posted!

lauren - sometimes I get hit with the 'what's the urgency' thing too, it's tough! I think what accelerates it for me is seeing all my friends pg with their nice bellies and starting to feel I'm getting left behind. 3 of our closest couples are pg all due between May and September which is great for them but our social life is definitely going to change!

lxb - it's definitely only part, but a big part once it comes!


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## lauren26

Country, Yay AF! Lol. Such a good attitude to have about it. I think you hit the nail on the head about urgency. It's the feeling of being left behind by my friends and family whose families are rapidly expanding and who can bond with other mothers and parents more easily since they have children. And wow, that's a lot of close, coupled friends to see pregnant at the same time! I'm sure your social life will change quite a lot, but you'll be right there with them soon, I'm sure of it. I do also feel the urgency about what everyone was discussing the other day--trying to give my parents grandchildren and trying to give my future children their grandparents for as long as possible! My parents-in-law have been the most amazing positive force in my life. I really want my children to benefit from being around them as much as they can, and to have their great grandparents, too, which there is still a little time for. I'm also an only child, so it's up to me alone to give my parents grandchildren. They are great about not putting pressure on me, but I know how badly they want them. That said, I know I need to take things one month at a time and just trust. 

Sashimi, I meant to say thank you for mentioning that book, too! I am definitely going to see if I can get it at our library here, though knowing my town (which is very new-agey), there will be a long waiting list for it. 

Sounds like some amazing OH's are behind the scenes! That lxb, that must have put your mind at ease.


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## SleepyOwl

I feel the exact same way about the urgency - I want my family to be around. OH's parents, although crazy, would be such loving grandparents and they are much older. It's a lot of pressure, especially when we have such little control. 

Also, AF is still not fully here. Had some CM mixed with a little blood this morning around 8 am and there is nothing on my pantyliner. Took a HPT this morning and BFN. I knew it would be but I did it anyway because I'm a kook! Happy for you Countrygirl - so funny when we look forward to AF being here, right?


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## haribo813

Nice to hear from you all!

Welcome Jaynie, I am on CD10 today so same as you! Hope you have a good month, how long does your cycle tend to be?

Lxb - same boat indeed!

Sleepowl - love the phrase failing our way to success. Hope your period (if it is going to come!) comes properly and pronto...

Lauren - what chinese herbs are you thinking about taking?

Countrygirl - with you on the close friends being pregnant, i too don't know what will happen to our social life come July- still, we'll all be there soon right?!

Sashimi - sorry AF came bang on time but at least you can get on with the next month, let's hope it's a good'un for all of us. Those books sound interesting-will try anything to keep a positive mind.

I had my acupuncture session-it's weird but i didn't really feel much, apart from feeling quite flushed in the face?! He was trying to help me be more balanced generally but also to treat a sort of discomfort/pain I've had the last few weeks on my left hand side-it comes and goes and beginning to wonder if i am imagining it?! Anyway, I didn't get the endorphins people talk about and I didn't have a bad experience so will try again next week and see how i get on, it is meant to have a great effect on overall wellbeing.

I am trying to stay positive but was thrown a bit of course today by the news that my boss who is the same age as me is pregnant with her 2nd child. I don't know why this is bugging me but it really is (she got pregnant on her honeymoon and quickly again this time). It's the sense of urgency thing. This is going to sound bad but my partner and i have been together for 10 and a half years and i suppose i've always felt quite settled but now lots of couples that have got together the last few years are expecting and it's thrown me-obviously life doesn't work in any order for things but it is annoying me. Today i don't want to submit to the idea that i'll conceive when i conceive, i just want it to happen now. Any tips to stop my impatience?! I suppose your niece story Sashimi is relevant here but am struggling tonight.

Also, I have sort of been NTNP all along as it's only now i am beginning to chart/OPK (well next month anyway, missed the boat on that this month) - I don't know when i am ovulating as not getting much/any CM so have been BD'ing every day since CD6 but not sure we can both keep this up - any tips on how to avoid not feeling stressed if a day passes and you haven't and you convince yourself it was crucial?! Or should i keep trying every day until CD 16 just to be safe?

Am off to the docs tomorrow to mention left hand side pain and also ask about any tests i can do-not sure what to expect, will totally depend on the doctor as know you're not meant to go before whole year is up.

Thanks so much for all your help -my OH is so sweet and supportive but i really can't speak to anyone else about this stuff at the moment so this is really helping me.

Sorry for overly long and not as positive as i would like post too, will be more chirpy tomorrow i promise! xx


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## SleepyOwl

Haribo - I don't think you need to worry at all if you miss a day. So many women BD every other day and get their BFP, so don't stress that too much. I would feel SO stressed our first month if we didn't BD every day, but honestly by the time I hit 8 days in a row I was exhausted and so was OH. Then we ended up just fighting and arguing and I would get emotional. 

Also I think it's fine to have down days. Sometimes you need those days just to vent and be upset and let your feelings out and can start fresh the next. We all go through those and if you can't let out those feelings here, then where can you right?! Hope you're feeling a bit better tomorrow and if you're not...don't worry - we're here to listen :hugs:


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## lxb

Haribo... I think all of us need tips to have more patient~ ;)

But like Sleepy said, don't worry too much. It should be sufficient to do it every other day. DH and I BDed 5 days in a row.. and it was wearing us out! :blush:

And yes... this is definitely a place to vent! and we are here to listen :winkwink: :hugs:

I just read from another thread that this lady BD once! last cycle... and got her BFP. :shrug:


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## lauren26

Haribo - We all have those days!! We are here for you. On the subject of BD, my OH and I BD-ed every day for 13 days in a row (and then some more!), and we did not get pg that month. I have read that every other day is fine, and really every 3rd day can be optimal, too. I have been following a gal on here with PCOS who has been trying for 2 years with super long cycles. She and OH BD-ed one time during her last cycle (40 some days long), and she just found out she's pg. My niece was conceived during a chance visit between my BIL and SIL--they BD-ed one time. And she was on herbs to keep her not pg! So. It just goes to show that it only takes once :) As long as you BD when fertile CM is present initially, the sperm can live for up to five days or something nutty like that, so it's possible to BD and the O a few days later and get pg. Something I did the month I had my chemical was take mucinex for a few days around O to keep my CM wetter. What CD are you? The OPKs might help, too.

On acupuncture: I went to a highly recommended practitioner my first round who turned out to be not that great. One of the needles was in wrong and was horribly painful the whole time. When I got home I felt ill and very down. I found a place I liked more and now have a really blissful experience each session. The herbs that this acupuncturist recommended are a fertility blend...I don't know the Chinese name but the Western name has to do with 'Wanderer'....maybe Free and Easy Wanderer? Anyway, I really got a 'No' to them last month (gut feeling), but now I think it couldn't hurt to try. It's just stopping later if I don't like them that would be the issue, as many practitioners don't like you to change horses mid stream. 

I hope you feel better. Be gentle with yourself!


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## haribo813

Thank you, thank you thank you! I do feel better for all your wise words and will cut myself (and OH!) a little slack because it is tiring and you don't want to get fed up with each other and TTC, you have to keep a sense of humour about it.

I am just back from the doctors-went in to talk about my lower left hand side pain which comes and goes, she thinks it's fine but I'm being booked in for an ultrasound scan which would pick up any ovarian cysts but will put my mind at rest. Despite the prospect of an internal invasive scan sometime in the next month I am feeling relieved.

Sashimi-hope your new cycle has got off to a good start with the IUI stuff. Sleepy, has your AF properly come?

Hope you all have nice evenings-I am 'working from home' for the last hour-yeah right, more like talking to you lot! Out for dinner with friends later and looking forward to it.

Thanks again to you all, you're great.
xxx


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## lauren26

Hey gals! Sooooo since we're NTNP this month and I've been off the sauce for 8 out of the last 12 months, I've been indulging in a glass of wine (or two) for the past few nights. I have temped the past couple of days because I had the urge on CD3 and my temp was way above the coverline still. I know I'm not pg--I had a full AF and have gotten BFNs. Do you all think that the alcohol could be spiking my temp? The morning I decided to temp (CD3) I had had one beer the night before...and my temp was way above. Anyone else have this experience? Normally I fall below CL and stay there when AF comes. Thanks, all.


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## SleepyOwl

Hey Lauren, I notice that when I have alcohol, my temp is noticeably higher the next day. I googled it because I thought it was strange as well, and I think a lot of women have the same experience. 

Haribo - Yes! AF is full on now and I'm looking forward to kicking my new plan into gear. When is your scan scheduled for? Glad that you're feeling relieved - def. nice having peace of mind esp when TTC!


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## countrygirl86

A quick comment on the everyday vs. every other, I've read that if your OH has low sperm count, every other day is better to give them a chance to 'restock' lol 

Are the benefits from acupuncture just stress relief or are there other benefits?

haribo - glad to hear you've gone to the dr and are in the process of getting some answers. Hopefully your next acupuncture appt is better next time. Enjoy your dinner out with your friends!

lauren - I've heard one drink CAN affect your temps, crazy to think that much but I suppose it's possible. I had 3 drinks Sunday but my temp was normal Monday, it's different for everybody though and when you drank it would make a difference too. 

I'm thinking we should be getting some BFPs this month with all the plans in action around here!


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## lxb

Agree countrygirl! Won't it be amazing if all of us get our BFPs... bump buddies!!!! :happydance:

We need some baby dust in here!
:dust: :dust: :dust:
:dust: :dust: :dust:


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## biostat

1st time poster here...

I've read through this thread and you guys seem so awesome and supportive. I'm in the same boat as you guys...age 28, 6 months TTC. We haven't really been trying anything special but doing the BD every 2 days from CD 6 to 18. (I hope I'm getting the lingo all right!). I tried doing all the checking CM, temp charting, etc. for a couple months but it just seemed to add to the stress and was confusing to interpret anyways.

It's frustrating because I'm used to controlling my life and I have this theoretical schedule that I want to be on so that things can be timed perfectly with my career...but I think I'm realizing I have to let go a little bit. It doesn't help that 5 friends and family members have announced pregnancies since we started TTC.

Anyways...anyone have some words of wisdom on how you get through the 2ww and keep your stress down and mind off it? I'm on CD 25 (11 DPO??), and my cycle length is 26-30 days (so lots of time to start hoping and then be disappointed).


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## Hopeful4num1

Hey! I would love to join you girls! 
DH and I are about to enter into cycle number 9. This has been such a rough past 9 months!! 
I wish I could be as relaxed as DH about it...I already saw my doctor last month and he won't proceed with any tests until we have tried for a year (I knew I should have lied! ha! :haha:) 
So my goal this cycle is to RELAX more - so much easier said than done, right?! Of course if I see one more :bfp: announcement on FB, I might go crazy :dohh: Anyone else having a hard time being on Facebook lately?


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## lxb

:wave:

welcome biostat & hopeful4num1!

I'm looking for words of wisdom myself to get through 2ww and to keep stress down.
haha... I feel lucky that I have found this site and to have found this thread! These ladies are so supportive! I'm SOOO addicted to BnB ... got excited when there are unread posts!!! :blush:

Keep busy is what I would say and ur mind off (easier to say than done!) FX for your BFP!! Are you planning to test?

Yeah.. we all need some relaxing~~ :)

Hopeful: FB is a killer. I have a nice handful of people who are expecting/gave births! :dohh:


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## Hopeful4num1

lxb said:


> :wave:
> 
> welcome biostat & hopeful4num1!
> 
> I'm looking for words of wisdom myself to get through 2ww and to keep stress down.
> haha... I feel lucky that I have found this site and to have found this thread! These ladies are so supportive! I'm SOO addicted to BnB that I would click on the "User CP" so often and got excited when there are unread posts!!! :blush:
> 
> Keep busy is what I would say and ur mind off (easier to say than done!) FX for your BFP!! Are you planning to test?
> 
> Yeah.. we all need some relaxing~~ :)
> 
> Hopeful: FB is a killer. I have a nice handful of people who are expecting/gave births! :dohh:

I can't decide which is worse...the 2WW or waiting to OV! :coffee: At least in the 2WW I can pretend I'm preggo :haha: I already tested today and :bfn: :cry: I didn't use OPKs this month and I didn't temp so I'm not sure of exact O day but I usually spot 2-3 days before AF and that started Tuesday so any day now...Wish the :witch: would just come already so the next cycle can start! ugh!

Yes, keeping busy seems to be the key! I'm getting ready to read the Hunger Games series, so hopefully that will help :)

I try to stay off FB to help alleviate the "TTC blues" but then there are 2 girls at my work that are preggo so I just suffer in silence :cry: 

lxb - when will you be testing?? Fingers crossed for you!! Hope this is your month!!


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## lauren26

Hello new ladies!! This is a great thread, you've come to the right place :)

I think the 2ww is the real tricky part. I feel very impatient waiting to O, but also more relaxed. Part of the problem, I think, is just that progesterone and estrogen affect us in different ways. I am always much more emotional during the 2nd half of my cycle--something I noticed well before TTC. Last month I did acupuncture and ate really healthy, and I believe that supported hormonal balance for me. I didn't get crazy emo until the few days leading up to AF. Any way to relieve pressure is great. It's really helped me to start having a daily chat with my OH about TTC and parenting. The constant reminder that we are on the same page and that we're here for each other is making my life much, much easier. 

Acupuncture relaxes but it's also supposed to free up stuck chi (energy) and move it to areas that need it or need healing. Last week I had it on CD24, three days before AF, and remarked to my acupuncturist that I didn't feel the same kind of downward, pulling, draining feeling I normally do right before AF. She said, 'I know! We're trying to get the chi to move into the uterus and _stay_ there.' It made perfect sense--it's just somewhat intangible so I didn't realize how impactful it would feel. Anyway, I have heard of many women going to acupuncture for fertility. 

On that subject, I'll be getting a biofeedback session next week--I'm really excited! My MIL suggested it and offered me a session as an early b-day present (it's pricey!). The woman said she's worked with many women TTC and all of them have gotten pg. Of course, they have all come back each month or week, and I can't afford to be doing it constantly, but she assured me that even one session would provide a wealth of information and healing. I'm VERY excited--for the TTC reason and just because I've always wanted to try it.

biostat - I really had to drop my timeline, too, and drop my very specific vision of how my career would fit with having a child. So many unknowns!

I have not been on FB much at all anymore, and I only have a few friends with babies! FB is sort of an energy drain for me anyway.


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## lxb

lauren26 said:


> It's really helped me to start having a daily chat with my OH about TTC and parenting. The constant reminder that we are on the same page and that we're here for each other is making my life much, much easier.

Being on the same page is the most important thing. Means you can work together and support each other. Yesterday I told DH that I appreciate he's trying to take some pressure off. And I appreciate that he told me that he'll be just as happy either way, etc. And he said... "I didn't say that to try to take pressure off. It's really how I feel". .. I know there was a reason y I married him :blush:


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## Hopeful4num1

lauren26 said:


> Hello new ladies!! This is a great thread, you've come to the right place :)
> 
> I think the 2ww is the real tricky part. I feel very impatient waiting to O, but also more relaxed. Part of the problem, I think, is just that progesterone and estrogen affect us in different ways. I am always much more emotional during the 2nd half of my cycle--something I noticed well before TTC. Last month I did acupuncture and ate really healthy, and I believe that supported hormonal balance for me. I didn't get crazy emo until the few days leading up to AF. Any way to relieve pressure is great. It's really helped me to start having a daily chat with my OH about TTC and parenting. The constant reminder that we are on the same page and that we're here for each other is making my life much, much easier.
> 
> Acupuncture relaxes but it's also supposed to free up stuck chi (energy) and move it to areas that need it or need healing. Last week I had it on CD24, three days before AF, and remarked to my acupuncturist that I didn't feel the same kind of downward, pulling, draining feeling I normally do right before AF. She said, 'I know! We're trying to get the chi to move into the uterus and _stay_ there.' It made perfect sense--it's just somewhat intangible so I didn't realize how impactful it would feel. Anyway, I have heard of many women going to acupuncture for fertility.
> 
> On that subject, I'll be getting a biofeedback session next week--I'm really excited! My MIL suggested it and offered me a session as an early b-day present (it's pricey!). The woman said she's worked with many women TTC and all of them have gotten pg. Of course, they have all come back each month or week, and I can't afford to be doing it constantly, but she assured me that even one session would provide a wealth of information and healing. I'm VERY excited--for the TTC reason and just because I've always wanted to try it.
> 
> biostat - I really had to drop my timeline, too, and drop my very specific vision of how my career would fit with having a child. So many unknowns!
> 
> I have not been on FB much at all anymore, and I only have a few friends with babies! FB is sort of an energy drain for me anyway.

I know what you mean about the hormone balance - It wasn't until I started TTC that I began truly understanding why I feel the way I do sometimes - progesterone and estrogen! I have learned SO much about myself in the last 9 months. And yes I find that the months I eat more healthy and exercise regularly, my hormones stay more balanced and my periods aren't as bad. 


I am really thinking about trying acupuncture. I have heard so many good things about in on BnB. 
What is biofeedback?? I have never heard of that.


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## SleepyOwl

biostat said:


> 1st time poster here...
> 
> I've read through this thread and you guys seem so awesome and supportive. I'm in the same boat as you guys...age 28, 6 months TTC. We haven't really been trying anything special but doing the BD every 2 days from CD 6 to 18. (I hope I'm getting the lingo all right!). I tried doing all the checking CM, temp charting, etc. for a couple months but it just seemed to add to the stress and was confusing to interpret anyways.
> 
> It's frustrating because I'm used to controlling my life and I have this theoretical schedule that I want to be on so that things can be timed perfectly with my career...but I think I'm realizing I have to let go a little bit. It doesn't help that 5 friends and family members have announced pregnancies since we started TTC.
> 
> Anyways...anyone have some words of wisdom on how you get through the 2ww and keep your stress down and mind off it? I'm on CD 25 (11 DPO??), and my cycle length is 26-30 days (so lots of time to start hoping and then be disappointed).

Welcome Biostat! I wish I had words of wisdom for the longest two weeks of our life...every month. I try to work out at least every other day and throw myself into organizing/decorating our house. Neither is 100% successful, but it takes my mind off it for a little white. 

I hear you on the control issue - I think that is a huge issue for all of us, so you've come to the right place :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Hopeful4num1 said:


> Hey! I would love to join you girls!
> DH and I are about to enter into cycle number 9. This has been such a rough past 9 months!!
> I wish I could be as relaxed as DH about it...I already saw my doctor last month and he won't proceed with any tests until we have tried for a year (I knew I should have lied! ha! :haha:)
> So my goal this cycle is to RELAX more - so much easier said than done, right?! Of course if I see one more :bfp: announcement on FB, I might go crazy :dohh: Anyone else having a hard time being on Facebook lately?

Welcome Hopeful!! Happy to have you here :) Sometimes I want to lie to my doc too - ohh, yes I've been trying for years, run tests! Hopefully we won't have to get to that point right? 

I'm with you on the FB thing - I haven't logged on in over a week. Everyone is prego on there.


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## lauren26

Biofeedback is used a lot in medical and psychiatric research. You are hooked up to little sensors that are attached to a biofeedback machine and then bring up (I think through talking?) something you'd like to work on. The machine picks up on all kinds of things that are going on within your body and displays them on a screen. From what I understand it's mainly about becoming aware of patterns in the body or emotions so that they can be healed. I wish I could be more specific or accurate--I will definitely let you all know what happens after my session next week!


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## Hopeful4num1

SleepyOwl - I hope we don't have to lie either! I will say, I thought about finding a new doctor just so we could "stretch the truth" and say we have been trying longer! I can NOT imagine waiting another 4 months to just begin finding out what is wrong, not even fixing the problem yet. But that is NOT going to happen to us - we WILL get our BFPs!! 

Lauren - I can't wait to hear how your session goes! That sounds very intriguing! I continue to be amazed by how much affects our bodies and how it all intertwines together. Fascinating!


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## haribo813

Nice to hear from Biostat and Hopeful, good luck to you both this month with cycles and welcome to the 2013 baby forum :winkwink:

Biofeedback sounds really interesting, keen to hear all about it.

I haven't been able to book my scan yet-as it's through the national health service here in the UK it's a bit slow-I wait for them to send me a letter and then can ring up and book a scan?! Why I can't just ring/email I don't know!

FB is not good for our health! When I get my BFP I won't be posting baby comments and pictures of our little one, that's a promise!

Sleepy and Lauren it's useful what you say about diet and exercise improving your cycle and thinking about it, it rings true for me too-I ate ridiculously healthily the other week and think that chased my AF away 2 days earlier than normal, what a result!

Going to be offline for a few days as the wedding season starts in earnest for us-3 weddings in the next 4 weekends-I'd better go and start sorting my outfit!

Have good weekends all and hope everyone can stay nice and busy and enjoy spending time with their OH (a good unpregnant friend of mine also said we may as well be making the most of the good things about not yet having a baby, like lies in and being able to go out whenever we want so i shall try and do that too...) xx


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## SleepyOwl

Have fun at the weddings Haribo - that's a busy month you have ahead of you!


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## lxb

haribo813 said:


> a good unpregnant friend of mine also said we may as well be making the most of the good things about not yet having a baby, like lies in and being able to go out whenever we want so i shall try and do that too...

That's definitely true. You can sleep in... go out whenever/wherever :thumbup:
Enjoy the moment because you only get "today" once! 

One of my favorite quotes I read:
Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, Thats why it's called the Present :flower:


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## biostat

lxb said:


> haribo813 said:
> 
> 
> a good unpregnant friend of mine also said we may as well be making the most of the good things about not yet having a baby, like lies in and being able to go out whenever we want so i shall try and do that too...
> 
> That's definitely true. You can sleep in... go out whenever/wherever :thumbup:
> Enjoy the moment because you only get "today" once!
> 
> One of my favorite quotes I read:
> Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, Thats why it's called the Present :flower:Click to expand...


This is very true ladies...thanks for the reminder to be thankful for the lovely things about our lives now, even if we are hoping for a major change. Eventually we will look back with nostalgia to our times of freedom...


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Ladies! I've been AWOL for a couple of days and feel like I've missed so much. I'm excited to see the addition of some new TTC buddies on this thread and it seems like we have people from all over the globe which is exciting!

I've managed to survive my first week at the new job, but feeling pretty run down today. I'm taking the subway every day and got stuck beside someone who wouldn't stop coughing on me, so not surprised I'm getting sick. I went to my fertility clinic for day 3 cycle monitoring and got there right when the clinic opened at 7 a.m. My doctor is away on vacation, so the covering doctor decided not to show up until 8:30, so I had to leave without seeing him. I was pretty stressed, but a nurse called me after they had a look at my bloodwork and ultrasound and recommended I start a fertility drug called femara. It's something that improves the quality of the egg and I feel like I'm kind of blindly taking it without a lot of information, but I'm willing to try anything at this point. So I started it last night (day 4) and will take it until day 8. Then I'll go back to the clinic on day 10 and I imagine we'll do another IUI this month.

I'm finding balancing work AND the fertility clinic vists VERY challenging. But I am glad on one hand that I have this new gig as a distraction. I have felt a little less crazy this cycle, so we'll just see how it goes. 

Lauren, did you do the biofeedback? I remember reading about biofeedback a couple of years ago and would be so interested to hear about your experience. I hope your NTNP is going okay for you and it's helping you and your OH feel relaxed.

What about everyone else, how is this cycle going for you?


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## countrygirl86

Hey Sashimi, it's great to hear from you. Glad to hear the new job is going well and is acting as a good distraction. I've heard of that drug before, hopefully it works its magic for you. The balance is a challenge but necessary and before long you'll be working in appointments about your pregnancy instead :) It sounds like our cycles are really close this month!

I'm on day 6, AF is slowing quite a bit so I'm looking forward to starting SMEP on Thursday (maybe Tuesday lol). Other than that there's been enough to keep my mind off TTC since I threw my SIL's baby shower yesterday and we're trying to sell a house my DH built (he's a home builder) so the stress of that stuff is giving me a break from TTC stress!


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## SleepyOwl

SashimiMimi said:


> Hi Ladies! I've been AWOL for a couple of days and feel like I've missed so much. I'm excited to see the addition of some new TTC buddies on this thread and it seems like we have people from all over the globe which is exciting!
> 
> I've managed to survive my first week at the new job, but feeling pretty run down today. I'm taking the subway every day and got stuck beside someone who wouldn't stop coughing on me, so not surprised I'm getting sick. I went to my fertility clinic for day 3 cycle monitoring and got there right when the clinic opened at 7 a.m. My doctor is away on vacation, so the covering doctor decided not to show up until 8:30, so I had to leave without seeing him. I was pretty stressed, but a nurse called me after they had a look at my bloodwork and ultrasound and recommended I start a fertility drug called femara. It's something that improves the quality of the egg and I feel like I'm kind of blindly taking it without a lot of information, but I'm willing to try anything at this point. So I started it last night (day 4) and will take it until day 8. Then I'll go back to the clinic on day 10 and I imagine we'll do another IUI this month.
> 
> I'm finding balancing work AND the fertility clinic vists VERY challenging. But I am glad on one hand that I have this new gig as a distraction. I have felt a little less crazy this cycle, so we'll just see how it goes.
> 
> Lauren, did you do the biofeedback? I remember reading about biofeedback a couple of years ago and would be so interested to hear about your experience. I hope your NTNP is going okay for you and it's helping you and your OH feel relaxed.
> 
> What about everyone else, how is this cycle going for you?

Glad to hear from you - we missed ya :) It has to be exhausting and stressful juggling all those fertility clinic visits and work, but you seem like you're dealing well with it. How great would it be if next month the fertility clinic visits could stop and baby doc visits would begin?!! 

Do you feel any different taking the Femara...side effects wise? I hope this does the trick for you girl!


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## SleepyOwl

countrygirl86 said:


> I'm on day 6, AF is slowing quite a bit so I'm looking forward to starting SMEP on Thursday (maybe Tuesday lol). Other than that there's been enough to keep my mind off TTC since I threw my SIL's baby shower yesterday and we're trying to sell a house my DH built (he's a home builder) so the stress of that stuff is giving me a break from TTC stress!

I'm ready to start SMEP too! I'm on CD 5 and we BD'd this morning. Praying that this is it for us. I felt really, really discouraged since yesterday. Went to a friend's bridal shower and so many of her family members had cute little babies, which was fine. I loved playing with them and no one asked any baby questions. But I saw one of my friends I haven't seen in months. I had a feeling she was pregnant because she has really been laying low and she didn't say she was, but girl is totally pregnant. Belly and all. She looked adorable and I could tell she was watching what she ate, staying away from all alcohol and caffeine (so NOT like her). I was so jealous :( For the first time I really felt jealous and bitter. When I see people on FB announcing pregnancies I get frustrated and just wish it was me, but I couldn't believe how I felt yesterday. I felt like a bad person. Even OH said I sounded like a hater. Trying to stay positive, but it was really hard yesterday :(


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## lauren26

Hey Sashimi! That sounds like quite a runaround with your fertility clinic, but I'm glad you have your new job as a distraction. It's also nice that you'll only have to take te Femara for a few days--I don't know whether people usually take it for longer, but hopefully that eases your mind until you have more information about it!

I have not done the biofeedback yet, that will happen this Thursday and I'm very excited! 

My acupuncturist talked me into doing herbs this month--only 3 days of them, which I feel good about. That means, though, that I need to temp and do OPKs. I feel OK about it--I haven't gotten sucked back into my stress pattern at this point so I'm happy to temp. Here's te question I had for y'all though: I mentioned that my temps were over last months coverline still, and blamed that on the wine I had a few nights. Well, no alcohol last night and my temp was still high-ish. Also, in months prior I had a drink here and there and it didn't seem to affect my temps too much...I did get a new thermometer, a bbt one. My others were not old, I just wanted one specifically made for bbt. I'm wondering if it's that? Anyone else have this experience? I don't know of any other reasons (well, I can think of dozens but they're all frightening and irrational!) that my temp would still be high. Let me know what you gals think.

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!


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## Hopeful4num1

Checking in with you lovely ladies! It has been a few days since I've been on. :)

Hairobo813 - Hope you had fun this weekend!

lxb - Thank you for the reminder to stay positive. I love that quote too! Every time I begin to feel down about not having a little one yet, I remind myself of the things I would likely no longer be able to do so leisurely (like, sleeping in!) :coffee:

SashimiMimi - I can only imagine how frustrating that doctor's appointment must have been! I hate sitting there and waiting forEVER (usually around 30-60 mins) for my doctor and then to find out that you weren't even able to see one. :dohh: At least the nurses were able to help. :) Good luck with the new fertility drug! Hope it is your lucky month!! 

SleepyOwl - I know exactly what you mean about feeling like a bad person for being jealous!! Two of the teachers I work with are pregnant. One is due in July and one in August. They are both friends of mine but I can not help but feel SO jealous of them. I fight this emotion everyday at work. Some days are easier than others but I always feel like a bad person for even being the slight bit jealous. One day it will be our turn! I try to remind myself of that. Positive, Positive, Positive!! :dust: for us all!!

Lauren26 - Wish I could help you with your temping Qs but that is one thing I have not done during this TTC journey. What herbs did your acupuncturist suggest for you to take?


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## lauren26

Sleepy- I think that we posted at the exact same time this morning! That shower sounds so triggering, I'm sorry you had to go through that :( It can be SO difficult to feel happy when everyone around you is getting what you want while you've been doing everything you can to have it and it's not here yet. I feel I'm at least momentarily on the other side of it right now knowing that we are ALL going to get our BFPs--I hope that's some comfort! I know it will happen. Like you said a while back (I think), it's so easy for me to feel optimistic about others and not myself, but I'm really just know we are all going to have our bumps. Hopefully this clarity lasts during my TWW this month, lol.

Anyway, that said, it can be excrutiating to be around moms and kids and other ladies' bumps. We are here for you :)


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## SashimiMimi

I'm with you ladies in the feeling frustrated department. I logged onto facebook this morning only to see the little sister of a childhood friend just had a baby. In my mind this girl is still 8 years old... And I remember seeing University grad pics a couple years ago, wedding pics last summer and now she has a baby. When it's a friend's little sister, part of me can't believe she has a baby before me. I know it's not a race, but uggghhh! Also there are several people who post weekly pics of their baby bumps. Does anyone remember life before Facebook when we didn't know what ever single person from grade 5 was doing? ;)

As for the fertility drug, I woke up with a massive headache this morning. I don't know if it's from the meds or from the weather. But I only have to take it for 3 more days and hopefully it will help. 

Thanks for all your encouraging words that this might turn from fertility appointments to actual baby appoints. It's frustrating when we go through all these measures and they don't work out the first time. But at least we have all these different things available to us like acupuncture, fertility clinics and even fertility message boards where we can connect like this!!!

My question is how do you respond to people saying whats the urgency? I know I got this from my our friends who came over last weekend like why are we jumping the gun with th fertility doctor... I just feel in my heart that I need this to happen now, so what is a diplomatic answer? I think we have touched on this topic a bit, but I'm definitely getting this question a lot. I'm guilty of this when I see 18-23 year old girls on here posting about how they have been TTC for 2 months and they are really upset/worried. But I'm understanding more and more no matter what the age or how long the ttcing goes on for it's such a personal experience.

ps. Lauren wish I could be more help on the temping. I found my temps fluctuated a lot because I am such a terrible sleep. If I didn't get a good night temps would be all over the place!!


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## lauren26

Sashimi - I really think that it's fine to just be honest with people (when and if that feels comfortable) in saying what you just said--that you feel in your heart that this is the time and that you are honoring what feels right to you. There's nothing wrong with that--that's exactly what we all ought to do! For me, something shifted when I realized that some people in my life just wouldn't understand, and even the ones with children would probably not understand because they'd never TTC for more than one month. Armed with that knowledge, I've felt safer entering into conversations with people about TTC or simply declining to engage with them on the subject. We were at a dinner party a few nights ago with two couples we know. One couple are close friends of ours, and the other couple hosted. They are in their later 40s and have children. They asked us if and when we were going to have children. I almost jumped into my whole story, knowing full well that they are very opinionated and not afraid to share it! Luckily, OH just said, 'We're thinking about it!' and that ended the conversation. I thought oh, yes. I don't have to defend myself to everyone! Anyway, I have responded to the urgency question in several ways, and the one that seems to quiet the person asking is, "It just feels like it's time. Now is the time." I think it's hard to argue with someone who is clearly stating their truth! My advice is just to be honest when it feels right, and not feel the need to defend yourself, as much as it's possible (it's hard for me!). Otherwise, saying something like, "It's a bit personal and I don't really feel like going into it right now." Anyway, let me know how it goes! I'm finding that talking about TTC is a difficult art to master.


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks Lauren! Your OH gave such a good answer to your friends. I always feel the need to tell people everything, and I think I'm a bit too open sometimes.

On a side note, I'm freaking out a bit. I've felt off since Friday, but now I have a fever , chills, cough, sore throat. I've read on some website that this could be a severe side affect from the fertility drug, but hot flashes and sweating are the most common. I've called a health line called Telehealth Ontario and currently waiting to have a nurse call me back. 

Maybe it's the just the flu, but a website I looked up said call your healthcare professional if you develop fever, etc. I REALLY don't want to call in sick my second week of work! But health comes first.:(


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## countrygirl86

Sleepy, sounds like we'll be going through this SMEP together! Let's hope it does the trick for both of us. It's ok to have those feelings, I think we all feel it at some point. I just try to think that at some point it will happen for me. It will happen for you. 

Lauren, your temp could be different with the new thermometer, it may be calibrated a little differently. Are you feeling ok? Could the acupuncture change your temps at all? If you feel ok I wouldn't worry too much about it yet but I'm no expert. I really like your responses to people asking about TTC. I was asked at my SIL's shower when my turn would be to have a baby so I said "let's let her baby come first then we'll see". Luckily that was it, normally my family continues to pressure until my face goes red!

Sashimi - keep us posted on your health! Fever and chills aren't a good sign. My DH has called the telehealth line before when he dropped a staircase on his toe, they were very helpful. Hopefully they gave you the answers you needed and you can get feeling better soon whether that means getting off the pills or taking something else. Your health definitely comes first!

I'm on CD7 now, not overly stressed about TTC which is a nice break. I'm sure as I get closer to O I'll start to worry about timing though. Oh and figuring out those OPKs lol first month using them so it should be interesting. I decided to show DH my FF chart so he would start to understand the cycle and everything and he did really well at first paying attention until I started to tell him about CM/CF lol that's where I completely lost his attention and he looked like he might be sick!


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## lxb

Sashimi: Hope you feel better soon! :hugs:

Lauren & Country: Yep. I was asked during my niece/nephew's birthday parties... and I just told them.. "I'll wait for them to grow up a little bit first.. then I'll get free baby sitters :haha:"

Sleepy: Ah... say no to FB! (I can use my own advice) :dohh:

hopeful & biostat: Sleeping in is a leisure~~ hehe.. after BDed on a saturday morning... fell asleep 'til NOON!! Ah.. such a lazy day~~ :)


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi - Those don't sound like very good symptoms! Did the nurse ever call you back? I hope you're feeling better by now. About the urgency question...unfortunately everyone wonders why I'm not more urgent - when, in reality I AM, they just have no clue :( Generally speaking though when people ask, my OH always says "hopefully in the next few years" or "when the time is right for us". 

Lauren - Maybe it is the BBT thermometer? I'm sure it's not anything more than that...please don't listen to Google in this case - you have no life threatening illness! Lol!

Countrygirl - Excited for SMEP! I actually feel more relaxed about this cycle knowing that's what we're doing. I thought I would feel the opposite, but so far so good!

Thank you all for your encouraging words. I'm feeling a lot better today and I know that we're all going to get our BFP's occasionally. I guess I just felt bitter and sort of embarrassed because she's younger than me and apparently only tried for a month. But everyone's TTC story is different and I know it ends up being perfect for them. Just difficult for me to accept some days. So nice having you ladies to be honest with!


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## lauren26

Country - That's so great that OH was interested in seeing your chart! My OH can listen to the basics but also gets a little perturbed when I mention CM. Sounds like you dealt well with the TTC questions, too! I am wondering if it's the acupuncture or if I might be a little bit sick. My acupuncturist did say she wanted to bring some 'heat' into my reproductive system. I didn't think she meant literally, but I don't exactly know how it all works, to be honest! I am on CD9 and also feeling pretty relaxed. I hope that feeling lasts! I do like the NTNP this month, I didn't think I would. It's nice having a daily chat with OH about the process. 

Sashimi - I'm sorry to hear that you might be having a bad reaction! Please keep us posted--that doesn't sound very pleasant and sounds a bit scary. You did the right thing by calling someone, of course. And your health absolutely comes first! I have had to call in sick during my first month at two separate jobs--I felt very stressed about it but both jobs understood and were supportive. Hopefully if you need to stay home your new workplace will understand. 

Sleepy - Good call on not trusting Google!! It's a bad habit of mine to Google that stuff...but I actually feel calmer about it today. I am thinking it's probably the thermometer, or maybe my body is just warmer in the spring. I don't know! I'll just see what the pattern ends up being. I don't suppose there's too much I can do about my temp, lol. Glad you're feeling better. I so know that feeling of someone younger getting pg instantly and the jealousy and embarrassment. I've said it before and I'll say it again--you're NOT old, and you WILL get that BFP! :) 

Excited for all the SMEP-ers! I think having a plan is helpful. At least that way you know you've done what you can! I am still feeling pretty relaxed about this month. If I start to really think about it I get a little frazzled, but overall feeling pretty surrendered for once. Again, Fx that this feeling lasts!


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## lauren26

I have an appt. tomorrow with the OB--over the weekend thought I felt some bumpy skin down there (sorry TMI). Couldn't see anything that clearly with a hand mirror, but got totally paranoid and my inner hypochondriac emerged...I am hoping there's nothing hpv related going on (I have never tested + for this but am actually not sure I've ever _been_ tested for it!), and that it's just from the marathon BD last month--we didn't use PreSeed for a month, so it was a bit rough. 

How is everyone else? Sashimi, are you OK?? Still on the med?

Country, when do you start your OPKs? I love to POAS :)


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## countrygirl86

GL at your appointment tomorrow lauren. Better to be safe than sorry at this stage plus they may be able to answer any other questions you may have. I've been thinking of using preseed, you really like it? How are you doing?

I guess I'll start OPKs Thursday, excited to BD tonight! I'm feeling cautiously excited for this cycle since we have such a plan in place and I feel like I know more about what's going on with my body. Regardless of what happens, we are still less than 2 months away from DHs dr appt where we'll start the ball rolling on SA etc.


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## SleepyOwl

Good luck at the appt tomorrow Lauren! You have your biofeedback session coming up Thursday too right? Are your temps still high - can we chalk it up to the new thermometer? Keep us updated :)

Country - Yay for CD8 - I'm totally all up in your cycle. Hope you don't mind :blush: 

Sashimi - Feeling better? I hope everything worked out with the meds!

As for me, I POAS yesterday because clearly I have issues. Obviously the OPK was negative, lol. SMEP starts tomorrow. Ohhh yeahh :happydance:


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## lauren26

Thanks, ladies! I think it's better to be safe, too....I don't know what's going on with me lately, but I've been a bit anxious and when that happens my hypochondriasis goes through the ROOF. Oy. 

I did OPK, too, and of course it was neg, lol. Way too early for me. Last cycle I didn't get one until CD13! I'm only on 10, but started them on 8.

My temps are still high! I don't know if it's the new thermometer or not. I am going to ask my OBGYN tomorrow. And tell her the gamut of my 'symptoms', lol. Some of what I thought were PMS are lingering, so that's where my anxiety started kicking in...srsly, I need to ban Googling from my list of hobbies that support irrational fear!

I love PreSeed! We started off with the recommended amount and the applicator--that was tooooo much. However, we did use it and used that much the month I had the chemical, so maybe it helped! It feels a lot like EWCM, so that's nice. A bit more watery, which is why you can't use a heaping amount. At least we didn't need that much. We've used it before, too, just for minor amounts of lube. It is very natural and conception-friendly. Also PH balanced I think? Other lubes kill sperm, so maybe they're acidic? Anyway, it's a bit pricey but I like it!


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## biostat

Hey everyone!

Sashimi  sucks to be sick. I hate calling in sick, too, but its always the best call (for people at work AND you :thumbup: ). Anyways, hope youre feeling better today.

Countrygirl  good for you about not stressing. Haha my DH was a little weirded out by the whole CM thing at first, too. Now its the other way around and hes gotten into itWhats your CM like today? Im like, uh, I havent even remembered to check. And then he gets weirded out again when I do check, Did you just do that? Guys are really funny when it comes to our bodies

SleepyOwlI totally hear you about feeling bitterYou will get your BFP eventually. I know everyone just wishes we knew when. And then we could relax.

Good for all you ladies with the SMEP plan...sounds like you all have an awesome plan of attack. :grr:

I had to go to a huge baby-shower this weekend, and literally four of the ladies there were pregnant, three of whom are less far along than how long weve been trying. I have another baby-shower this Friday, and another one the following Friday. 

Im waiting on AF right nowhavent done a HPT yet because Ive already wasted $$ on them in previous cycles only to get AF the next day. So I figure Ill just wait until Im a couple days late to test. But my cycles are anywhere between 26 to 30 days, which means I start getting really hopeful around CD 28 and at the same time really afraid of disappointment. Today is CD 30but Im getting pre-AF cramps, so I think its only a matter of time. Feeling discouraged.


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## Hopeful4num1

CD2 - blah! I was doing SO good this past week at staying positive even though I knew last cycle was a bust and AF was on its way but I fell completely off that bandwagon today :cry: At dismissal today (I'm a teacher) I was waiting for a few more parents to pick up their kiddos when a parent of a child I had last year walked by and asked if I was OK. I realized I had been staring longingly at another teacher I work with who is 6 months pregnant. :cry: Apparently I was not hiding the sadness very well! I think work is worse than Facebook for me lately. Hopefully tomorrow I will wake up on a brighter side of the bed!!! :/

Lauren26 - I agree that is can be best to be honest with people when they bring up TTC. OR brush it off quickly. :haha: However, you still may not hear what you want to hear. It seems as if no one can say the right thing so I've learned to ignore people on the subject unless they are giving positive encouragement because that is about the only thing I WANT to hear :) Good luck with your appointment tomorrow! 

SashimiMimi - I hope you are feeling better!!! Hopefully the side effects just mean that the drug is helping/working for you! Fingers crossed :thumbup:

Good luck to all you girls starting to DTD this cycle!! I am a bit behind you and won't be starting OPK and DTD until near the end of the month. ugh! I hate the first 2 weeks more than the 2WW! There's that bad attitude again :nope: Tomorrow I WILL be more positive! :winkwink:


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## Hopeful4num1

biostat said:


> Hey everyone!
> 
> I had to go to a huge baby-shower this weekend, and literally four of the ladies there were pregnant, three of whom are less far along than how long weve been trying. I have another baby-shower this Friday, and another one the following Friday.
> 
> Im waiting on AF right nowhavent done a HPT yet because Ive already wasted $$ on them in previous cycles only to get AF the next day. So I figure Ill just wait until Im a couple days late to test. But my cycles are anywhere between 26 to 30 days, which means I start getting really hopeful around CD 28 and at the same time really afraid of disappointment. Today is CD 30but Im getting pre-AF cramps, so I think its only a matter of time. Feeling discouraged.


I give you SO much credit for going to that baby shower!! That had to be extremely hard on you! I have two next month and I am DREADING them. I do not know how I am going to make it through without looking completely depressed. :wacko: I have seriously thought about sending a gift and not going. One is family and one is for a girl at work. I am sure I will end up going and suffering through. :cry: Good luck to you on the next two you have coming up :hugs: Remember - your time WILL come!! 

My cycles also vary by a few days (28-32) so I know exactly what you mean about getting your hopes up towards the middle there. I hate the longer cycles because by day 30 I have convinced myself I am preggo! I am a "chronic phantom symptom spotter" - not good! 

Lots of hugs!! Hoping this next cycle is your lucky one! :happydance:


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks for the kind words ladies! I'm feeling much better today. Nurse thought it was just a virus, but I'm still going to mention the fever and symptoms to my doctor.

OH is having his first experience with TTC heartache. Twice this week he has seen young pregnant girls (around 20) smoking!!! It made him so annoyed he wanted to march right over and give them a lecture!! Seriously, huge pregnant belly and smoking. Who does that?

He also got asked the when are you going to have kids question by a former colleague today as well. He was caught so off guard that he went into detail about the entire IUI experience. In this case, Im glad he did because the colleague said that he and his wife had trouble TTC and had both their kids through IUI. For OH it was very inspiring and encouraging to hear about the struggles from another man.

I think when OH gives me the we have lots of time and don't worry,relax speech, he's trying to be strong. I know he wants this as much as I do, and it's tough not having control over the situation.

Hang in there Hopeful! I think we all notice pregnancies around us a lot more because we are all TTC. When I go to my fertility clinic it's always busy and it reminds me that there are so many women like us who just need to be patient during the process a little longer than others. I know our BFPs will come!


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## SleepyOwl

Biostat - I still have my fingers crossed for you!

Hopeful - I know it's like we have a pregnancy radar and it's so hard not to stare! Stay positive - our BFP's are coming!!

Sashimi - Happy to hear it was just a virus, but you're right - better to mention it to the doc just to be safe. I think you're right on with the OH's trying to be strong statement. A lot of the times we probably dismiss is it as them not understanding (I know I'm guilty of this), but I think a major part of it is they know how let down and discouraged we are. So nice to hear another positive IUI story - def. offers a lot of encouragement. When is your next IUI?


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## lauren26

Hopeful - I CONSTANTLY see beautiful pregnant women and women with little kids and babies. Every single time I leave the house, lol. It's tough not to stare!! And long. 

Sashimi - I'm glad that your clinic is not worried--good call on letting your doc know, though!! Those definitely don't seem like welcome symptoms. That's so wonderful that your OH was able to connect with a co-worker on IUI!! I am curious when your next one is, too. I CANNOT believe that you saw more than one pregnant girl smoking!!! That's preposterous. It's so hard for me to believe that women treat their bodies and their babies poorly when they're pg, but sadly I know it happens all the time. 

Bio - Fx Fx Fx!!!

Truth be told, I am very anxious about my trip to the doc. I have a long list of things I feel concerned and/or paranoid about that I am going to ask her about. TTC has truly taken me to the depths of my neurosis about health, lol. I think that the more I discover about my body the more I realize how delicate and complex the body is--of course, it's very resilient, too! We should also hear back about OH's SA tomorrow, which he submitted a sample for on Monday.


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## countrygirl86

Biostat - totally agree that men are weird when it comes to our bodies! I have to admit though, mine was a mystery to me till I read TCOYF though! Has anyone picked it up?

Hopeful - I caught myself staring at my friend's bump at a baby shower this weekend, just think you will have a bump for others to stare at soon enough! It's totally normal to have up and down days. Hope you are feeling a little better about things today :) I love the first two weeks, so much excitement trying to catch that little egg!

Sashimi it's good to hear you are feeling better, how's your job going? That would definitely help hearing stories from someone you know who has gone through it. Brings to light how many people do struggle with TTC. I'm also wondering when your next IUI is?

Lauren, hope you get lots of answers today at the doctor and with the SA. Let us know how it goes!

We started SMEP last night lol yeehaw! I'm not really sure what to think of this POAS business! Do you ladies keep your sticks to compare? What time of day is best?

Happy Hump Day everyone!


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## lxb

biostat: :hugs: hope AF is a no show!!!! she should go find someone who needs her!

hopeful: :hugs: I kept seeing these few pregnant ladies whenever I used the restroom. feeling so envy... :( I think one of them is due soon (judging by the way she walks). Feel like I wanted to go up to her and rub some baby dust! hahah... she would probably call the security on me :haha:

sashimi: I know exactly how that feels. seeing younger pregnant girls who don't take care of their body. that's good that your OH has colleague that are encouraging. DH's colleague is the exact opposite. telling him how easy it was for him and his wife to get pregnant... and his so-and-so is also pregnant by accident. DH was :growlmad: 

Lauren: let us know how it goes~

yay to sleepy & country for SMEP journeys!!

I use the clearblue digital that shows a smiley face when LH is detected and I stop testing afterward and don't keep my stick either. I think it's recommended to test twice per day .. once sometime after 10am and once sometimes in the evening ~7pm. and it's best if you don't pee ~3 hours before u POAS. But this cycle... I remember I went to the restroom at around 10:30am... then I drank probably 2+ cups of water and needed to go before 11:30 and still got +opk :shrug:


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## lauren26

Woohoo! All clear for me. I guess there are a lot of things I didn't notice about myself until TTC and checking my cervix and the other stuff down there :blush:. I am instantly relaxed! Whew.

OH will hear about his SA today or tomorrow. Since we had a chemical and he's gotten someone pg before I expect it will be fine, but it'll still be nice to hear from a doctor that it's fine! 

Excited for you SMEP-ers! OH does want to BD on my fertile days, so I suppose we're half NTNP? It seems like it's been more of a mindset than anything else for me. Also we're not doing the marathon 14 days of BD.....lol.

Sashimi, any other news about the Femara? Are you still on it?


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## SashimiMimi

I took my last dose of Femara last night. I felt really anxious yesterday and couldn't get to sleep, so if that was a side affect I'm glad I'm done! I'm going back to the fertility clinic for cycle monitoring tomorrow to see how things are coming along. I also spoke with my friend the acupuncturist and we are going to do acupuncture on one of the days I do an IUI...assuming we end up going the IUI route again this cycle.

Acupuncturist said Femara can sometimes make you O early, so of it happened this weekend that would be super convenient! If not I guess it will happen sometime next week! I'm on my phone right now so more later.


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## treasured

Hello! 

Can I join this thread ladies?? 

Ive been reading over the posts and totally agree with the ones about the size of the thread. Ive joined a couple of others but cant seem to keep up with whats going on and feel like I cant actually express myself in them! 
Ive been TTC number 1 for 6 cycles now... I was one of the ones that assumed it would happen straight away and now im very deflated that its taking so long! I remember waiting for my implanon to be removed to begin TTC and thinking 'in a few weeks i'll be pregnant' and planning how I was going to tell people. And here I am now 6 months later and still nothing!!

I know theres so many girls that have been ttc for years like some of you and I hold my hands up to you!! So proud of everyone that keeps a brave face throughout this really tough time. I am due to ovulate in the next couple of days so fingers crossed for this cycle :) I've also had luteal phase issues, been charting and the last three months my LP has only been 10, however I started taking 100mg of b6 and think it increased to 12 days which is a positive!! 

Babydust to everyone, I will be stalking this thread hehe! xxxx :)


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## lauren26

Treasured - Welcome!! Happy to have you join :) I am with you--it is very frustrating to realize that not everyone gets pg right away! I found my OB's blog today and she says on it '70% of couples get pregnant within 6 months, 85-90% within one year'. I was like, I don't think that's right!!! Based on the scores of women I see on BnB (which is only one out of many, many sites like it), I think it takes a lot of people much longer! I started B vits last month, too, and I had a really great cycle. I do think it helps--B is so good for so many things! I also got on a super healthy diet and was doing acupuncture, which I'm sure made a difference too. I will O in a few days, too! I am CD11 and usually O on CD 14. We can be cycle buddies!

Sashimi - Sorry about your anxiety! :hugs: I have had it sooo bad this week, too. I feel a million zillion times better after seeing the OB today, but I really came down with a case of it. I can't remember the last time I felt so anxious! I am curious whether yours is a side effect--the Femara has hormones in it, right? That would definitely make sense. I hope you are feeling better. Glad you're done with it for this round! Hopefully you'll be done with it for good ;)


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## lxb

:wave: welcome treasured!! Yep... I was also one of the ones that thought it would happen straight away. Oo.. O coming up huh? Bet you're busy bd-ing?? hehe...
That's great about your LP has been increased to 12 days now. Hoping this will be your month as well! FX!

:dust:

I kept telling myself when I see the BPN for the past few cycles... like what lauren said..
'70% of couples get pregnant within 6 months, 85-90% within one year'


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## lauren26

lxb didn't realize you were in TWW! Maybe due to my paranoia fog, which has now lifted! Lol. Excited for you!! You're ahead of us this month. Fx for you and babydust!!


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## lxb

thanks lauren~~~

tww has been MUCH better since i joined this forum. I love reading about you ladies' updates and "trying" to answer question some people have in this forum. A nice distraction too! Spreading dusts to everyone~ Love seeing how people I stalked/stalked got their BFP for the very first time (feel so envy) and hope baby dust will rub off on me too~~ :haha:

half NTNP sounds great~~~ no pressure is always a good thing! :flow:


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## lauren26

OH update - SA was 'good'. 10% on the kruger scale (which I've read that clinics say isn't the best but is actually normal-good), and 180 million sperm. What??? I had no idea there were that many in such a small amount of baby batter! I guess that's a good amount, too. Who knew? I certainly didn't. They also checked acidity and viscosity and said those were fine. 

OK enough posts from me for today.. :)


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## treasured

Thank you hehe! 

I agree lauren! SO many websites with stats that say over 80% get pregnant within a year.... doesnt seem quite right! Although it is heart breaking and seems like a lifetime waiting to find out every month I cant quite get my head around the fact that its already been 6 months and if we are following those percentages we should in theory be pregnant soon.... atleast some of us. However according to these boards, its LIES. haha! 

Its hard to stop yourself from feeling like there must be something wrong with us huh? I say to my OH all the time that if only there was a little jab you could give yourself that said you CAN DEFFINATELY CONCEIVE, or YOU NEED 'bla bla bla cream' or YOU SHOULD USE PRESEED' just as easily as that then I wouldnt mind if it took a year, so long as I knew I was doing everything I could? I dont know if that makes sense but I guess im just not so keen on having tests done that may not even give me results! 

We should deffinately be testing buddies though! are you a crazy poas fiend like me? 

Thanks Lxb! Yes me and OH are trying to get as much BDing in as possible, both have a bit of the flu right now so hoping that doesnt affect his little guys. FX for you this cycle how long you going to hold off testing for?? 

Can I ask how old you gals are? Im 21, which is why I guess I'm a bit paranoid as I thought it would be easier as im young! 

xxx :)


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## SashimiMimi

I love seeing new ladies in here, especially since some of the original posters have vanished. However, I think we have a nice little support group going on here. So welcome treasured and rest assured there are women like you all over the world who are TTC for several months now. This will be cycle 10 for me. 

Lauren I've been anxious all week. Being sick threw me off and last night I had a bit of a meltdown because I don't want this new job to interfere with TTC. Tomorrow I have to go to an early morning conference that goes all day followed by an awards show and networking event, so that will go all evening and I have to fit in the fertility visit before all of this!!! I'm feeling quite overwhelmed but keep reminding myself the the job is supposed to be a distraction! I'm glad your doctors visit went well and there are no concerns. I get super paranoid about my health when the slightest thing seems off!!

I also don't like that I haven't been able to keep up with BnB!!!! It feels like there is so much going on that Im missing! This cycle is going really fast, soon enough we will all be another 2ww! I'm determined to stay relaxed and let whatever will be will be!


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## SleepyOwl

Ahh I've missed so much in just one day!

Treasured - Welcome!! I think we all thought it would be MUCH easier to get pregnant. I was mulling over it today and thinking about how naive I was to the whole process. But I suppose all good things are worth waiting for, right? 

Lauren - Happy to hear OH's SA came back normal and that you're feeling better after your OB appt. Sometimes you just need to get that all out and discuss just to reassure yourself. TTC definitely makes you nuts about your body. And yay for OH wanting to BD on fertile days - it's amazing how in tune they get with our cycles, lol! 

Sashimi - Sorry to hear about your anxiety :( I'm glad you're finished with Femara too. I hope your day tomorrow is manageable. The last thing you need is added stress. 

Supposed to start SMEP tonight. OH even came home early - he has asked every day since I ended AF, "Are you ovulating?". Poor guy doesn't have a clue. Hopefully he isn't too exhausted, although he seems more relaxed than yesterday. Fingers crossed!


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## biostat

Hopeful  Good luck on your baby showers too. I know you can make it through. I try to keep my mood jokey and just think of it as a fun party for someone I care about. Luckily for me only a couple people know we are TTC, so I dont get any awkward questions at these events. But then theres the baby-face cupcakes, cake with frosting in the shape of a lamb, little chocolate birds nests with eggs in them  its pretty strong reminders even after the presents. Whatevsour time will come, too.

Sashimi and Sleepy  I think you guys are right on about husbands wanting to lift us up a little bit when we are discouraged, instead of joining us (well, at least me!) in moping around. This is definitely a dynamic with my DH and youve made me recognize it. Its actually a very helpful insight for me  thanks. 



lauren26 said:


> TTC has truly taken me to the depths of my neurosis about health, lol.

Lauren  OMG, this is pretty much the funniest/most brilliant comment Ive seen on here. Depths of neurosis is SO how I feel. About several areas of life, but especially TTC. So glad your SA was good. Thats one less thing to be neurotic about 

My parents gave me a book on mindfulness for Xmas, and since I have had a lot of anxiety too, Im taking a look at it, and its actually helping. A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook is the title. Its about being present in the moment (not letting our anxieties rule our mind), letting ourselves positively respond to our bodies and the world around us, meditation, etc.


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## biostat

Thanks for everyones FX. Still havent seen AF, CD31, though Im analyzing every little stomach cramp for being the precursor to AF. Im out of town for work without my stash of HPTsI may just make a dash from the hotel to pharmacy tonight so I can test tomorrow AM, even though Ill be home tomorrow night. So impatient!!

Treasured  Welcome! Lovely to have you here. As other posters have said, I think thats how all of us feel  thought it would be pretty quick, but were just the ones who have to have a little more patience, I guess.

The 85% stat can be discouraging or encouraging, depending on the way you look at it, but I think we also have to remember that you can be perfectly fertile and not conceive for a number of months simply by chance. Its like playing slots for an hour and not winning a thing. Usually you win at least something, but occasionally youll have a bad night, or in our case, bad set of rollercoaster months. And then you end up on these message boards &#9786; Nothing wrong with trying to stack the deck every way we can, though (to mix my gambling analogies!! Im not actually a gambler  but I do work a lot with statistics.)


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## lauren26

Wow, reading all of these makes me so curious what everyone's job is! Lol. 

Sashimi - Don't worry--we are here! And not going anywhere! I really feel that stress around not being able to keep up with BnB--especially since we have become such a support for one another! But you are in mind and heart and we are here :) Your day tomorrow sounds CRAZY. Can you call on the support of coffee, even though you're TTC? Sounds like the job is a distraction, but perhaps a little much right now! Seems very busy. Is there any part of the new lifestyle that does feel relaxing? I know it can take a minute to get used to a new routine--it's no wonder you've been anxious. I think I was a little sick, too, and OH is going through a lot right now, so that amplifies it! Too bad life can't stop and wait while we TTC!  Anyway, we've got your back, sister! 

Treasured - We just experiment every month. My main goal has been to choose things that feel really helpful in supporting my bodily and emotional health--I think I've gotten somewhat intuitive about what will help and what will hinder! I have totally wished for the button that would tell me exactly what I need to do. But biostat is right--we can be perfectly fertile and just miss that egg, or just have a slightly off hormonal pattern during a cycle. It's such a delicate symphony! I am 26, and technically this will be my 10th cycle TTC. 

Biostat - I'm so glad you can relate!! I have felt like a CRAZY person this week! For reaaaal. Lol. Anyway, that book your parents gave you sounds awesome--your parents sound very supportive and healthy! My OH has been in a fear of flying class and they use a lot of progressive muscle relaxation and mindfulness meditation. My college was Buddhist-based, so I have experienced the benefits of mindfulness and meditation. To be honest it's what's gotten me through the 10 months of TTC so far! I'm so glad you brought it up--I've been feeling secretly woo woo over here with my meditation and visioning...And grrrrrrrrl, TEST!!! Let us know! I'm dying to know.


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## SashimiMimi

Treasured I just saw you asked how old everyone is... I'm 30, but I think our ages vary. And I have learned TTC is frustrating no matter how old. I'm sure you get people telling your you're so young, have lots of time, etc. it doesn't make I easier. Looking back I can't believe the amount of years I spent trying not to get pregnant. Sometimes I can't believe I struggle with TTC. I never thought in a million years I'd be one of those women. But it hasn't been a full year yet with any luck I'll be part of that 85%. Honestly, if you put me in a room with 85 pregnant couples and I was part of the 15 who were not, I'd scream. (if this statistic is true that is!)

OH thinks our neighbor is pregnant with their 3rd kid. I hmphed and he got annoyed and said he can't tell me anything because I've become so angry. I said its not fair that they can have 3 small kids like that and we still have none. He said maybe they did struggle as we don't know their story. I guess I'm quick to judge.

Lauren! I was also starting to wonder what everyone's job is. (I'm a journalist! I love write and its sometimes why my posts are so long!!) 

I'm feeling way better after reading everyone's posts. I don't deal with change well and when a lot of stuff happens at once I panic. This week has been learning the ropes during a very busy time, with secretly trying to make TTC my priority. So it will settle down and no one seems to notice if you come in late. That is good for fertility appointments!! Once I settle in I might be forthcoming and say I have doctors appointments a couple times a month and if they ask why I can say fertility and leave it at that. It's my right as a woman to have a baby, it's not like I'm out getting botox or something!

I really think the fertility drugs were making me sick and anxious... I feel totally normal just 24 hrs after stopping. Well let's hope it was worth it...but I also feel like a bfp will happen at some point, if not this time then one of the next. This is the first time I have felt optimistic or have felt that it's okay to get a bfn (even though it's depressing.) speaking with all of you has really helped me deal with the inner guilt of not having conceived, the frustrations I feel toward the whole process. So I'm so thankful for that!!! Night ladies!!! Look forward to catching up tomorrow. (and if anyone else wants to reveal their jobs I'd love to hear! I bet we find mor similarities outside of our TTC journeys!!)


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## lauren26

So awesome that you're a journalist, Sashimi! I began my undergrad degree in writing--I LOVE writing and love literature. I graduated with an art degree, and have worked in art sales, administration, and finance....and have sold the odd painting or two :) So cool to learn that about you. My OH works with children, which he adores. His job reminds me constantly how much I want kids, lol. He will be an amazing dad.


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## biostat

Journalism, arts, admin, and finance - diverse talents ladies! It's really great to hear about what the other side of people's lives are like. I'm an MD in the midst of my residency (not an OB/GYN or specialization in fertility), and I'm involved in a bit of research, which is why I work with stats a lot. Lauren - my husband also works with kids (elementary school teacher) and it makes me excited too about his dad-potential :coolio:


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## lxb

woo~~ what a group of diverse ladies here~! I'm a software engineer. I pretty much sit in front of the computer all day writing codes! and check BnB every so often! :haha: I can see that you ladies' entries tend to be long (but so easy to read at the same time! love it!)

biostat - did you test yet?? update us!!!!! :dance:


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## countrygirl86

You all make me so happy :)

Lauren - great to hear about your DH's SA! It must be a relief to know that they can always work with what he has anyway lol I'm working as an office manager/service advisor in an auto shop right now but thinking of making a change into something that will use my knowledge from my education (Accounting diploma and Business Admin degree). Awesome that your DH works with kids! Mine is an electrician by trade but has begun his own company building houses and has a fear of tiny babies lol

Treasured - welcome aboard! These ladies are great :) I would love to know if there is one solution to ttc issues, or that it will happen eventually. If I knew I would get pg at some point I would find comfort (I think). I'm 25, turning 26 in September! It definitely doesn't matter how old you are, whenever you feel ready is when it's time!

Sashimi - hope your new job isn't too much! I look up to you for getting a new job! I've needed to change for a while now but haven't built up the courage, my boss is so great. I'm realizing that the timing will never be perfect so I'm going to start applying as good jobs come up and just see what happens. I kind of expected to be in the 15 group, part because my DH had cancer. It can be frustrating at times but I think it will make it that much more special when we finally get our baby :)

Sleepy - how's the SMEP going? I'm due to OPK today so I have to figure that out but it's exciting! So happy to have you to go through this with!

biostat - what you said makes total sense about the gambling/slots! I'm no gambler either but I take comfort in that because my SIL and BF got pregnant within 3 months of trying and it was just that things lined up for them. We all will get our BFPs when everything lines up, just a matter of time! And I'm with Lauren, :test:


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## lxb

Oh... also meant to say

Treasured - I'm 28 turning 29 this year. Agree with these ladies here, ttc can be frustrating no matter what age you are. The main thing is trying not to stress over it and stay positive (I know I can use that advice myself) :)


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Gang! I'm on a break at the conference and thought I'd pop on to say Hi! Two of the speakers this morning who were men kept randomly going off topiv mentioning how their wives are 8 mos pregnant or how one just had a baby 5 weeks ago and showed a pic on the big screens. Had there been a Q&A I probably would have asked "How long did you try?" even thought the topic was about something completely unrelated to ttc!

I saw my Fertility doctor. The ultrasound showed that the Femara drug worked and created a super ovulation, so I have two eggs or follicles that are going to be coming soon. That increase the chance of twins, which would be amazing. But the doc warned with multiples comes high risk pregnancies. Knowing that there is this twins possibility I almost wonder if another bfn would be double the disappointment, but I havent even Oed yet, so I can't think that way. Doc also said he want to keep an eye on the lining of my uterus to make sure it will be thick enough to hold on to a pregnancy. So many issues with ttc... It's like everything has to be just right for it to work! The egg quality, sperm count, lining, etc!

I love my fertility doctor and feel so great after seeing him. He is so personable and optimistic. I made it in and out of there in an hour today! I will go back tomorrow fo more monitoring and I imagine the IUI will happen soon! I notice on other threads people post numbers of their cycle monitoring like follicle size.... I don't ask about that stuff because it doesn't really make sense to me as to what it means.

I feel bad I haven't had time to respond individually to everyone. The last two weeks have been a whirlwind but I think I am finally adjusting to the new pace in life. I want everyone to know that I read all these posts and love hearing about where everyone is in their cycles, vents about ttc and now it's so cool to hear about our various careers!!! What an amazing and diverse group! I wish we could all chat like this IRL!!

So my question of the day is coffee. I know some people stay away from caffeine while ttc, but I've been drinking a cup here and there and have needed it more so the last couple of weeks. I know lots of women who got BFPs who are mega coffee addicts so I don't worry too much... But what does everyone think about coffee and ttc? I feel like my doctor would tell me to not drink caffeine at all if it was detrimental to the process. What do you ladies think? What foods do you stay away from during the 2ww?


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## biostat

Haha, ok ok! I actually wanted to test this morning but I talked to DH last night (I'm out of town) and he said, "No way are you testing without me there." So I'm waiting until I get home tonight or tomorrow AM. I know you're supposed to use first morning urine, but I may not be patient enough. :blush: thanks for the words of encouragement chicas...you are the best!


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## SashimiMimi

Good luck biostat!!! I know with the FR tests you can test any time of day urine although they say morning contains the most hcg. Fx


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## biostat

Yeah, the whole caffeine issue. There is conflicting research on both the impact on fertility and developing baby and most of the studies are not that well done. But there's pretty much consensus that below 200 mg/day (1-1.5 cups of coffee, 2 cups of tea) there's no measurable harm. So I stick to my 1-2 cups of tea. Hard to be perfect, especially because there are so many things to avoid. I stay away from soft cheese, mercury containing fish (like tuna), unpasteurized foods and uncooked meat/eggs (although I've messed up on that one), and have no more than a glass a wine every so often.


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## lxb

Yeah, I tried to stay away from caffeinated drinks although I do drink hot cocoa (maybe ~1 cup a day?) as biostat mentioned, uncooked meat/eggs (or even undercook).

DH & I might go for sushi this weekend (I would be 7DPO)... debating whether or not I should eat sashimi (no pun intended :))


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## haribo813

DH & I might go for sushi this weekend (I would be 7DPO)... debating whether or not I should eat sashimi (no pun intended :))[/QUOTE]

Don't eat her! You might be eating twins in the making too :hugs:
Seriously, that is so exciting, what a great result-well worth the side effects. Now you need to try and relax and not put too much pressure on yourself.

I think everything food and drink wise in moderation is fine. I reckon when we get our BFPs we will wish we'd had the odd coffee or soft cheese here and there while we could!!! Plus if you're anything like me, when you get your AF you feel hard done by if you've completely cut something out and it's not come to anything. Having said that, I have cut down on caffeine and sugar on advice of acupuncture guy and have been feeling a bit better.

I really have been AWOL the last 5 days or so and look what I've missed! I will add my job into the mix-I work in an art gallery in the fundraising team! Loved hearing what everyone does and the length of posts does seem characteristic to jobs too!

Any news Biostat? Fx, fx fx!!!! Welcome Treasured! Hope everyone is feeling positive about their cycles, I feel much more relaxed for this one-I think this is because thanks to you girls I am armed with ideas on what to do next cycle if it doesn't work out. Seriously though, it was my OH's idea to join a forum so I wouldn't feel so lonely and sad and I couldn't have wished for more supportive buddies! I'm pretty sure he also loves you all as thanks to you I am much happier this month and am not having TTC dilemmas as often with him. Thank you so much.

Lxb-you're one day ahead of me! Hope your 2ww going well. Country and Sleepy-I think I have inadvertently done SMEP this month too after speaking to my acupuncture guy today! Lauren-great news you have got clear results on both fronts, all systems go!


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## preg_pilot

I´ll definitely be stalking this thread :)
learned alot in the ... 1-2 hours maybe? that I was reading through this one :)

lots of :dust: to all of us :)


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## lxb

haribo813 said:


> DH & I might go for sushi this weekend (I would be 7DPO)... debating whether or not I should eat sashimi (no pun intended :))
> 
> Don't eat her! You might be eating twins in the making too :hugs:

:haha: :haha: of course~~!! :blush:

my tww is going well so far. Not much symptoms that I think are worth note-taking, which makes me think this won't be my month. How are you feeling?

:wave: preg_pilot! welcome~!


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## SleepyOwl

Gosh I have been missing out so much on this thread the past few days! Work has picked up and I have like NO time. Speaking of work - I'm an attorney! Like Lxb, I basically sit in front of a computer all day as well. Not the most glamorous job but it pays the bills. 

My take on caffeine - Cycles 1-3 I drank coffee and soda as I normally did and just cut back slightly after ovulation. This cycle I've pretty much cut it out altogether. I had a sip of soda the other day and maybe have had 1/2 a cup of coffee one morning when I just couldn't take it. 

Sashimi - TWINNSS aka twin eggies!! I know it's high risk but it would def. be amazing and efficient. Whatever happens, I hope you get your BFP and that it's a healthy, uneventful 9 months. That's my idea of a great pregnancy, lol! That is great that your appointment was quick and easy. It must put your mind at ease (well at least somewhat) to have such a personable fertility doctor. 

Biostat - I cannot even wait for you test!! It's really sweet OH wants you to test with him. I think mine would be too nervous. 

Lxb - The lack of symptoms could be your BFP symptom! When are you planning on testing - or do you think you will just wait til AF is late? 

Treasured - I'm 29 and am turning 30 in September. Praying I can get my BFP before then, but who knows what's in store for me. 

Country - Did you use an OPK today - prob way too early for a +OPK at CD10 right? SMEP did not happen as planned, but I think it's okay. I wrote a little more below about it. 

Pregpilot - Welcome :)

Lauren - I feel like I'm leaving you out. Hiiii friend! 

As for me, I did NOT BD last night. OH was SO tired. Although I desperately wanted to cry myself to sleep because I was feeling hopeless, I was able to reason with myself that it was only CD8 and that it didn't mean that I wouldn't get my BFP this month. It only took an hour, but whatever - besides the point. OH said def. tonight, so I think I'll just do odd days - CD9, 11, 13, etc. I think it might actually work out better, since we'll have a weekend day in there. Also, sorry if TMI, I had a TON of EWCM today...which is weird, right? I'm only CD9. I took an OPK a little while ago and it was negative, but I'm def. going to BD tonight.


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## biostat

So...big news ladies!!! I'm so glad I waited to be home with my hubby...

:bfp: :dance::dance:

Couldn't believe the two lines there but I knew I was feeling a bit different already.

Thank you guys SO much for your support! It kept me from going crazy during the dreaded 2ww. Lots of encouragement to all of you - SleepyOwl, Sashimi, Haribo, Lauren, lxb, CountryGirl, Treasured and Pregpilot. :hugs:


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## lauren26

Wooohooooo!!!! Congrats, bio!!! I had a feeling! Was your OH overjoyed? You're paving the way for us!! Now...tell us every single detail about what you did this cycle :) :) I hope your BFP will be the first of many on this thread!

Wow! This is a diverse group of ladies! It's nice to hear what everyone does--very grounding and humanizing. I have an interview in a couple of weeks to be a Business Manager half time for a non-profit where I live--it's exactly what I had in mind when I left my last job but I'm so eager to go in a new direction. I suppose it might be temporary. 

Countrygirl - I really hear you on wanting a job that uses the skill set you intentionally cultivated in school, but a good boss is priceless. I'm behind you either way, but wanted to throw in my two cents ;)

I also feel that I won't have sufficient time tonight to catch up and respond to everyone individually--this has been a crazy week for me! (@Sleepy - Hiiiii!) I had my biofeedback today, which was very interesting and tied in well with the therapeutic work I've been doing. Basically you are hooked up to sensors that read all kinds of subtle cues from your body and process all sorts of information--emotional, physical, mental. She compares the way it works to lie detector machines on her website. Anyway, she basically told me that it seems like the 'reason I'm not pregnant' is emotional/mental and not physical. I feel like this is true, but in a way that's harder to deal with. Also, I am very into the idea that our thoughts create our reality, but in this situation that can mean a lot of pressure and accountability! I liked the session--a lot to process. I'm still absorbing it all. 

In other TMI news, I have CM this month! Lol. I finally understand what 'sticky' CM is. Before I thought it just meant when you're dry. But I've been getting little globs of sticky-stretchy and can tell my CM is leading up to EWCM. It's pretty cool! It's amazing that we can endlessly learn about the body! Also, CD12 and OPK only half + , so I have a few days to go, though the BDing has begun...in a NTNP fashion ;)

Haribo, I am with you on the food issue! If it causes more stress to be totally rigid in avoiding something, then indulge a little! Of course, there are still things I pretty much completely refrain from in the TWW--like alcohol, unpasteurized cheese, and I try to cut down on my coffee intake. OH and I have been doing half-calf, only one cup. That's ideal for me. I need just a little zing and don't want to totally compromise flavor. I have been staying away from all fake sugar, have switched to whole milk and real butter, and avoid all processed food, unless I'm eating out or it's unavoidable. 

That's all from me for today! I hope I can read all of these more thoroughly tomorrow. Biostat--congrats again!!!


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## lauren26

PS pregpilot- Welcome!!! Don't just stalk, talk :)


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## preg_pilot

biostat said:


> So...big news ladies!!! I'm so glad I waited to be home with my hubby...
> 
> :bfp: :dance::dance:
> 
> Couldn't believe the two lines there but I knew I was feeling a bit different already.
> 
> Thank you guys SO much for your support! It kept me from going crazy during the dreaded 2ww. Lots of encouragement to all of you - SleepyOwl, Sashimi, Haribo, Lauren, lxb, CountryGirl, Treasured and Pregpilot. :hugs:

Congratulations biostat! 
Now we just need lots of :dust: for the rest of us :D


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## lxb

Yay biostat!!!!!!

:happydance::happydance:
:headspin::headspin:

sleepy - that's what i told myself to make me feel better too (no symptom could be bfp symptom) :haha: although I'm not holding my breathe on it. I always "plan" to test AFTER i missed my AF but failed my plan every cycle! haha... FF now shows AF due on 28th, another site shows AF due 29th. Maybe I'll test if my temp stays high on the 28th :thumbup: (that's the plan for now anyways :haha:)

lauren - yay for sticky CM & to BD! & good luck on your interview!!

pregpilot - where are you on your cycle?


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## preg_pilot

lxb said:


> pregpilot - where are you on your cycle?

I´m supposed to be about 4 days from ovulation, started OPK´s today, not to miss it.
I got severely painful cramps this morning, so hopefully O is not far around the corner.


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## countrygirl86

Well first and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS BIOSTAT! So excited for you! You must tell us everything you did though lol out of fairness to us still trying! How far along does that make you and when's your due date?

Sashimi - I think you should do whatever you are comfortable with with regards to caffeine. I don't drink coffee or pop but I like tea so I cut back to decaf tea. I agree with biostat that there are conflicting reports but generally around 200 mg is acceptable. Yippie for two eggs! That would be incredible! There is more risk but more reward too :)

haribo, I completely agree, when we get our BFPs we'll miss out on those foods so we might as well (safely) indulge now!

pregpilot - Welcome! 

lxb - enjoy your sushi! At this point the baby wouldn't be attached as far as I know so it can't harm? Not sure though.

Sleepy, I'm glad you are switching to odd numbers cause now we are the same! Mine was VERY negative lol no test line to speak of! 

lauren - thank you! I'm hoping I would be able to stay on here as a bookkeeper so maybe 10 hours a week. The biofeedback sounds like it's giving you the tools you need. Do you go for more sessions or is it a once type of thing?

Hope everyones had a good week! Any exciting plans for the weekend? We are going to see Billy Currington (country music) in concert tonight and I have my nephew's first communion Sunday. Oh and gotta keep on track with the SMEP!


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## biostat

Haribo- so glad this forum is making a difference and de-stressing you.

Sleepy - Don't feel hopeless! It's only a matter of time until your BFP. I'm sure it wasn't a big deal if you missed a day - remember those sperm can hang out for a while.

Lauren - I'm glad the biofeedback session went well for you. I hope you don't blame yourself for not conceiving yet, though...if no one conceived when they weren't perfectly mentally healthy then we'd have a pretty small population! :winkwink:

Lxb - it's so funny how we design all these rules around testing for ourselves to contain our impatience. Sending baby dust a week in advance.

Country girl...sounds like a fun weekend with the concert and sticking to the SMEP :happydance:

Thanks so much for everyone's congrats. OH was thrilled. He said we should frame the test, lol. In answers to people's questions about what I did...I wish I had more concrete tactics, but this is really all we did:
Guessed LP of 12-16 days. Subtracted those from cycle length 26-30 days to get an ovulation range of CD 10-18. BDed every 2 days from CD 6 to 16, plus extra when we felt like it (which I'm guessing was around ovulation). I've been taking a maternity multivitamin plus extra iron and Vit D. We eat very healthy in general because DH does all the cooking from scratch.
This cycle I didn't bother really checking temps or CM or CP. I figured I might as well just cover my bases by BDing the whole possible window.

As for symptoms, I really didn't notice anything until the day of my bfp, when I started to feel odd stomach cramps, tender breasts, and looking back maybe I've been a tad more tired. So don't think a lack of symptoms means a bfn.

Perhaps the only thing different from previous cycles was BDing later in the cycle. And I've been more relaxed because I've been on here with you awesome ladies! Baby dust to everyone.:hugs:


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## treasured

WOOOHOOOOOO!!!! Biostat! Havent been on here in a few days and have just caught up! Sooo excited for you :D. Do you have any pics of your test i'd love to see! I get so excited by BFPS hehe. Are you going to make an appointment with docs soon?

I was enjoying reading about everyones busy jobs! I'm a full time carer at the moment and personal assistant for blind clients. Ive done a degree in events management but I dont feel that it is my calling in life so I plan to do another degree in midwifey!! This dream will be put on hold however because although many people have told me how young I am I would prefer to start my family now :). 

I have experienced the whole 'oh dont worry you have plenty time' from my nurse which I saw a few weeks ago. Originally I went along for a smear test and of course she asked if I could be pregnant. I hadnt ovulated yet so was ok to have the test but I tried to discuss my situation with her and asked her about Luteal Phase defects which is what I thought was wrong, and she was so vague and disrespectful. She looked horrified that I could possibly be 21 and wanting to conceive. Hmm, I guess thats just what you have to deal with, I was just a bit discouraged and didnt want to continue talking to her... 

Think I'm around ovulation right now!! Been having some cramps and 'funny tummy' and me and OH BD'd last night :) So fingers crosssed! 

Whos with me right now in TWW? xxxx :)


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## treasured

p.s thank you all for your re-assurance I'm glad that we can all be in this annoying/exciting/heartwrenching/confusing/disappointing/amazing boat together :) xxxx


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## SashimiMimi

Biostat that is wonderful news! Yay! Our first bfp On this tread and hopefully the first of many. 

Yesterday I had a trigger shot that is causing me to O this weekend, so OH and I went for an IUI today and will do another tomorrow. I went for a fertility acupuncture session right after and then went and got my nails done!! So it's been a very productive day!

OH is feeling very smug because the doctor said he has an olympic medal winning sperm count (180 million) and joked he should get a gold medal! Lol! So we have officially done everything we possibly can for this cycle and on Monday the 2ww will begin. Fertility drugs, trigger shot, IUI and acupuncture. I don't know what else I can do, so fingers crossed. I really want this to be my month and trying to think positive.

How is everyone else's weekend? Treasured I guess I'll be joining you on the 2ww front!


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## lauren26

Treasured - Wow, what an amazing job! I love that! I have been wanting to get into a more service-oriented career, or at least something that feels more nurturing than finance (which really ignited the controlling side of me). I have thought about nursing, though I am very squeamish...I'm sorry your nurse wasn't helpful--I love my OB's nurse but the other nurse that works for her group is horribly unhelpful and judgmental on the phone and often doesn't fully listen and/or gets the information wrong that I give her. I got the 'you're too young' response for the first three years we were married, when I was 22-25. Now that I'm 26, soon to be 27, I'm getting the feedback that I won't be a 'young mom'. So I don't think anyone wins in this area! Lol. It sounds like you are very clear on what's right for YOU, and that's the important part :) I am O-ing right now, too! For the first time I got an OPK where the test was darker than the control line. Woohoo! Hoping our BD last night will suffice--my hubbs is not back until tonight and I fear he will be very tired...

Sashimi - Our OH's have the same sperm count! Lol. His doc didn't encourage him, though! I will pass along the info.... :) Sounds like an amazing day!! I am LOVING acupuncture. So much more relaxing than I expected and I really do think it's helping. Sashimi and treasured, I think that we will all start the TWW around the same time! Sashimi, I bet it's a great feeling to know that you guys have done everything possible to make this the month! I love that feeling--even in months when we haven't gotten pregnant (which I guess is all of them, lol), I still feel like I am grounded in knowing that I've done all I can and that it's just a waiting game. Anyway, I'm glad you're feeling good about it!

biostat - You're right about the mental state! Thanks for that reminder :) I think that blaming myself in the past has been a way for me to create a false sense of control over the situation. It feels better to surrender it, though, and know that there's only so much I can do! Have you been to the doc?? So excited that you're keeping us posted on this thread so far! Have you joined any first-tri threads? It's nice to know that you guys didn't try anything off the wall and that you didn't even chart! Very encouraging. 

country - The biofeedback was interesting and more than anything clarified and validated what I already knew about myself. In the moment I wanted to go back for more sessions, but now I'm feeling like one was enough. The woman was VERY new-agey, and while I'm spiritual and into using some woo-woo terminology like affirmative prayer and intention, lol, I'm not so attracted so psychics and 'seers', which she said she was, so I was a little uncomfortable with her in general. 

lxb - Where are you? Feeling anything yet?

preg - Is it O time for you? It's crazy that so many of us have synched cycles!

Sleepy - How are you?? How's SMEP going?


----------



## SleepyOwl

Hey all! It's 4 am and I'm about to get a BD in because I got a positive OPK. So early In my cycle I feel but I'll take it! 

Biostat - Congrats!!!! I am SO excited for you!! Pass the baby dust our way girl! I hope you have an incredibly happy and healthy 9 months. 

I'll post my updates tomorrow when our guests finally leave!


----------



## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> preg - Is it O time for you? It's crazy that so many of us have synched cycles!

Not yet.
Should happen in the next 2 days according to the last cycle, but could be a bit later.
I´ve started OPKing and we started the SMEP cycle on CD 4, just to be sure :)
I feel hopeful and lucky this month :)


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## SleepyOwl

Heyy friends - I've missed you all in the past couple days. So much movement on this thread...lots of catching up to do. 

Biostat - I said it last night, but I'll say it again. CONGRATS!!! The first BFP on this thread, so hopefully the baby dust spreads...fast :) 

Pregpilot - Yayy SMEP! Have you gotten a +OPK yet? What CD are you?

Sashimi - LOL @ OH's Olympic sperm. Hilarious! So today is your second IUI of this cycle, right? How did it go? You def. have done everything in your power to get your BFP - fingers crossed that it all works out as planned now, right? 

Treasured - That's really disheartening about the nurse. Very insensitive on her part. Some people just don't understand TTC and that everyone is ready for a baby at different point in life, and some people are ready at a much younger age than others. I would have punched that lady in the face (not really, but I would have wanted too, lol). Did you get any answers about the LP defect? 

Countrygirl - Yes we are SMEP-ing on the same days now hehe. Except...I think I'm basically done because I O'd alot earlier than expected (about 4 days early). Literally I think I'm ovulating as I type this, lol! How are you doing with it? Are you getting tired of it or still feeling good about the plan? How are the OPK's going - getting the hang of it? It's addicting isn't it?!!

Lauren - Glad that biofeedback session went well. I would have been sort of weirded out with the new agey/seer stuff. OH and I are definitely spiritual, but that stuff doesn't sit right with me either. Still, if it was informative and validating, then it was worth it. 

Lxb and Haribo - How are you both doing??

So I got a +OPK on CD11 around 5 pm (yesterday). OH and I BD'd this morning at 4 am. Does that sound okay? I'm worried that we waited too long, but it was literally impossible because our friends were staying with us. I felt like a ninja on a secret mission trying to get a BD in last night! We only BD'd CD5, 9, and technically 12. I don't think OH is going to be up for BD'ing tonight, but probably tomorrow night. I'm still new to OPK's so I'm not sure when I'm actually O'ing. Generally for those of you that use OPK's, do you feel like you O that same day or is it a day or two afterwards? Just trying to get an idea here and basically some reassurance that I didn't wait too long.

I can't even rely on temps because we woke up at 4 am to BD and usually I temp at 645am. I temped around 830 and my temp was higher than usual and FF automatically discarded it. Still, I feel like I will O today or tomorrow. I haven't had any EWCM today (usually dries up when I O) and I had a TON from CD8 til last night, then again when we BD'd. Sort of embarrassing, because OH commented and even used the term "fertile cervical mucus" while we were BD'ing. I mean I'm glad he is in tune with the TTC process, but I don't want to use that phrase when BD'ing!! LOL!!


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## preg_pilot

SleepyOwl said:


> Pregpilot - Yayy SMEP! Have you gotten a +OPK yet? What CD are you?
> 
> So I got a +OPK on CD11 around 5 pm (yesterday). OH and I BD'd this morning at 4 am. Does that sound okay? I'm worried that we waited too long, but it was literally impossible because our friends were staying with us. I felt like a ninja on a secret mission trying to get a BD in last night! We only BD'd CD5, 9, and technically 12. I don't think OH is going to be up for BD'ing tonight, but probably tomorrow night. I'm still new to OPK's so I'm not sure when I'm actually O'ing. Generally for those of you that use OPK's, do you feel like you O that same day or is it a day or two afterwards? Just trying to get an idea here and basically some reassurance that I didn't wait too long.

Yep. Yay SMEP ;)
No +OPK yet, but should be there tomorrow or the day after according to my cycle. I´ll test until I´m sure I should have O´d already.
I´m on CD 8, and should be O´ing in approx 2 days.

I don´t know excactly when you should O after a +OPK, but I´ve mostly heard, that you O about 12-48 hours after that, on average.
So... 4am the morning after, should fit perfectly :dust:


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## Jaynie82

Think I'm out.... Had sore boobs (never have before) and cramp at the start of the week. AF due sat but starting to cramp. Just want to start the new cycle now. Anyone else feel the same


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## haribo813

Hellooo! I have been out of town at another wedding all weekend so just catching up...Biostat that is amazing news! Am SO SO pleased for you and wishing you a very happy and healthy 9 months. Thank you so much for telling us your winning formula, i am (as ever!) encouraged as our approach has been similar this month...just 1 more week of 2ww to go...am hopeful but at the same time worried i will get the AF symptoms in a few days and be miserable. Not heard back about date for my scan either so ignoring that for time being. How are you doing lxb-think you're a day ahead?

Sleepy - i laughed out loud at your email, 4am, friends round etc, reminded me very much of my desperation to BD! And totally with you on OH knowing TMI about TTC, I am also guilty of that too.

Lauren and Sashimi am glad your cycles are going well. Treasured-sorry about the mean nurse, i used to have one but then found the kindest one ever and have stuck with her ever since-wishing you similar luck.

Jaynie - chin up chook! Biostat proved you're not out til you're out??!

Preg pilot - good luck with your cycle and hi! :)

Am off to bed now, I danced for 3 hours non-stop at the wedding (sometimes dancing is easier than talking to people-especially when the chat is about having kids!) Anyway am pooped now!
xxx


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## preg_pilot

@haribo 813

Thank you, and hi back :)


----------



## lauren26

Preg - Yay for feeling lucky and good this month! The month I had my chemical I KNEW we were going to get pg and KNEW that we did. I think that the part about it being chem is beside the point. Fx for you!!

Sleepy - I, too, had the BD desperation! I got my + OPK the morning that OH was on his graduation flight for his Flight Without Fear class. I got the + around 10:30 am and knew I wouldn't get to BD until 8 or 9 pm. I have heard that you O 12-36 hrs after the + OPK, and then your egg lives a minimum of 12 hours, so I bet you had PERFECT timing. 

Haribo - Sounds like fun!! I love weddings :) Good luck with the rest of the TWW (last week of it is killer, I know), and Fx for you!

Jaynie - It ain't over til the fat lady sings!


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## countrygirl86

Sashimi - very exciting for you! Your DH must feel like superman lol that's very good to know though

Lauren - hope you got everything you needed out of it! Have you O'd yet?

Sleepy - good for you for getting the BDing in! I'm a little bummed you completed your SMEP before me but at least I'll get to find out if it's worked for you sooner! 

preg - good luck on the SMEP! We're doing it this month and I'm on CD14 with no O in sight lol just means more practice! Hoping this is your month!

Jaynie - I've heard of girls who think they're out and it turns out to be a BFP but I can totally relate to just wanting to start a new cycle. Fx for you.

Haribo - glad you had a great time at the wedding! What scan are you going for? 

Thanks biostat for letting us know your 'secrets'! It's great to think this is just the first BFP for this group and they'll all start rolling in! Judging by where everyone is in their cycle right now I'm going to drop a little :dust:


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## lxb

country: how was the concert and SPEM coming along??

Sleepy: :happydance: for BD! hope those :spermy: will be waiting in line to attach the eggy~!! tww is almost here! and i sense BFP is not too far around the corner~

tresured: FX for your treasured! tww can be such a long time!! like the others said, if you feel it's the right time for you, then it is the right time for you. Don't let those people have negative impact on you. ttc can be an emotionally exhausting journey :hugs:

biostat: thanks for the dust~ hopefully i'll follow ur footstep~~~ :dance:

sashimi & lauren: :haha: gold medal~~ that would boost a man's ego big time~~ 

pregpilot: gluck~~ enjoy SMEP journey~~ 

haribo: sounds like fun!! i love dancing too (even though I can't dance but who cares right??) :blush:

jaynie: AF is due either Fri/Sat for me too. AF and BFP have similar symptoms... so you're not out yet! :flow:

hehe.. I've been away from this forum for 2 days and it felt like it has been more than a week!! miss you ladies~~ I'm feeling okay, not much symptoms at all (only sore boos). :shrug: DH & I went for all-you-can-eat sushi last night... I was feeling unease about eating sashimi (again, no pun intended :)) but then I let it go and thought... what the heck, I'll treat this as my last 'unhealthy' meal for the many many more health ones to come! :haha: very satisfying meal~~ :blush:


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## lauren26

lxb - I had a similar night last night--beer and bacon cheeseburger! I thought, what the heck? I'm NTNP and thought I might have O-ed the day before, so it was still early enough that the beer couldn't hurt too much. 

country - I'm not sure!! FF hasn't given me cross-hairs yet since my pre-O temps have been high. I am climbing up, I think--sometimes it takes a few days after O for my temps to climb. I hope that's not a bad thing! I have wondered before if it means that I am progesterone deficient. I think it's normal, though?


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## Jaynie82

How is everyone today? Another Monday, another week starting!

Still absolutely shattered! Can't seem to get enough kip at the moment. Trying not to symptom spot and its easy as there are no symptoms! Only having a bit of very white CM yesterday and today but nothing else.

I want to thank all of you for how supportive everyone is! very pleased to be part of this forum!


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## treasured

sleepyowl - hehe, i'm imagining myself punching that nurse now and being removed from that doctors practice! i recently moved house so I will need to change surgeries, maybe i'l get a more supportive one next time! she didnt have ANY info on LP defect for me, infact she didnt even know what it was.... I mean if she was giving me a smear test I thought she would have known a bit about menstruation. Hmm. ive done some research on it myself though and have been taking vit b6 witch I THINK has lenghtend my LP from 10 days to 12? thats based on last months ov date tho. LOL so much at your OH getting down with the lingo... but i agree, maybe not the best words to use during intimate times hehe! mine was asking me what DPO meant!! 

lxb- thank you for the FX hehe its a long wait but I guess ill just have to keep myself busy with other things! in a way I like this stage because I have something to wait for, even if it is AF. I hate the first two weeks of cycle cause you know your soooo far away from a result! 

I'm only a few dpo.... not really feeling anything differnent, I have peed a lot today and feel a kind of cramping every time i go :S I also have really painful nipples but I think I get that around ov! sometimes I wish there were nooo symptoms because I never know whether im inventing them or not :( xxx lots of hugs and luck!!


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## lxb

SleepyOwl said:


> I felt like a ninja on a secret mission trying to get a BD in last night! We only BD'd CD5, 9, and technically 12. I don't think OH is going to be up for BD'ing tonight, but probably tomorrow night. I'm still new to OPK's so I'm not sure when I'm actually O'ing. Generally for those of you that use OPK's, do you feel like you O that same day or is it a day or two afterwards? Just trying to get an idea here and basically some reassurance that I didn't wait too long.

:haha: .... yay for ninja BD!! :ninja: what brand of OPK do you use? I use clearblue digital and this is only my 3rd cycle using it. I usually stop testing once i got +OPK

Feb OPK#1: +OPK on CD12 and Oed on ~CD16/17
March OPK#2: +OPK on CD18 (I was sick that cycle.. & Oed on ~CD19/20)
April OPK#3: +OPK on CD12 and Oed on ~CD15/16



SleepyOwl said:


> Sort of embarrassing, because OH commented and even used the term "fertile cervical mucus" while we were BD'ing. I mean I'm glad he is in tune with the TTC process, but I don't want to use that phrase when BD'ing!! LOL!!

:haha: :haha:


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## sweetie888

Hi Ladies! I know I've been fairly quiet on this thread lately. A whole lotta stuff going on, but I thought I'd let y'all know I got my BFP last week. Sucky thing is I got my BFP while I've been really sick, went to the Dr. and found out I have bronchitis. So with the pregnancy, don't want to/can't take a lot of meds. Been having terrible asthma attacks that I'm scared of m/c from coughing and gasping for air so bad. Go back to the Dr. tomorrow, but can't see the OB/GYN for another 4 weeks. 

Not that I know it actually worked for me or anything, but this past cycle I added the use of Fertility Blend supplements (I bought it at GNC) for both myself and DH. It was pretty pricey, but I read a lot of great reviews that seemed to give people BFP's within a month or two of trying it...and it happened that way for me too. So, just something to throw out there.

Note: I was also using EPO, PreNat Vits, and PreSeed (as on previous cycles).

Good luck ladies!


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## countrygirl86

lxb - concert was great! I had a few beer and it was a good show! SMEP is going well! We traded one day but are still going and still negative OPKs. Glad you enjoyed your meal! Are you going to test soon? Any symptoms?

lauren - not too sure about that, I wouldn't be too concerned if you are sure you O though! How are you doing?

Jaynie - How's your week going? Luckily you aren't out till AF shows, some people don't get symptoms till after they're late.

treasured - it's incredible how uneducated some people are, especially when it's their job to know that stuff! 

Sweetie - Congratulations! Sucks that you are sick. Hope you start to feel better soon. Thanks for letting us know what worked for you. You must be so excited!

It's so nice to see the BFPs starting to roll in here! I'm feeling good about this cycle, just wish it wasn't so long. Although I do rather be waiting to O than be in the 2WW. It's all part of the process though.


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## lxb

Sweetie - COngratulations!! :dance: Love hearing BFP news! Hope you'll feel better soon!! :hugs:

Country - I was going to test yesterday but held my urge.. and felt another strong urge to test today!! (AF due this Fri/Sat) Temp dropped 0.3F this morning, minor stomach cramp, feels like AF is on its way though... far too similar feeling. But still keeping my hopes with "I'm still in as long as I don't see AF!!!" ... 2ww is such an emotional roller coaster... but there's not much I can do except to sit and wait :-s


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## lauren26

sweetie - Congratulations!!!! So exciting! I'm sorry you're sick! Thank you for telling us what worked. I hope you get lots and lots of rest--I have had bronchitis and it's the pits! 

country - I'm OK! I'm pretty positive I O-ed and I always O. I assume that having a new thermometer and drinking before O this month made my temps spike. I'm pretty sure I'm 3dpo if that's the case. Not obsessing yet! Fingers crossed that I don't start, lol. I definitely have less of a feeling of urgency and expectation this month--since we're NTNP and I've been breaking the rules a bit I am not expecting a BFP. Of course if I get one, I'll take it! I'm glad you had fun at the concert! I wish your cycles didn't have to be so long, too. Do you know why they are? I know it's normal, just curious :)

lxb - You have some serious willpower! :) Your chart looks good, too--I wouldn't worry about the temp drop at this point. Do you know how long your LP usually is?

treasured - My OB also told me at one point that she wasn't sure if LPD existed...I was like, OK.... She said it's controversial. Imagine that! Seems like a normal and frequent issue that many women deal with. Hmmm. I have been suspecting that I have a progesterone problem so I researched foods and supplements to balance hormones. I have also been doing acupuncture. I think something worked because I didn't spot much before AF last cycle (knock on wood!), and my temps stayed up the whole time. 

Jaynie - How's it going today?? 

I'm feeling pretty healthy but have been having a bit of a rough time sleeping this cycle. Maybe indulging in red wine a few too many nights? Lol. Could also be why I've been plumping up this cycle... :blush:

Some of you ladies do yoga, right? Curious if that's helped at all during the TTC process. I am thinking of starting a regime again. 

Sashimi - How are you? How's your week? You must be about 4dpo now, right?


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## Jaynie82

Sweetie congrats!

LXB looks we are due AF about the same time....

Strange day today... the last few days i have been using OPK's as i have shed loads of them and i read somewhere that the same/similar hormone is detected in pregnancy as ovulation. Anyway had the urge to pee on one and i have a really faint line. I am only DPO8 (9 according to My Days App) so it is far too early to test properly but it has got me thinking. I know this is really random and that it is too early to even imagine i am P but just wondering has anyone else experienced anything similar?


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## lxb

yeah.. looks like we're cycle buddies Jaynie~! :wave:

I dont think I can trust OPK to test for P though. I also read they're similar and could be used to test for pregnancy. But OPK tested LH whereas HPT test for HCG, which is completely different. +OPK or -OPK can't tell much.

Lauren - nah.. I won't call that willpower :( I just felt discourage when I saw that temp drop :cry: My LP is average ~12 days


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## Jaynie82

Yeah you are right! 

When are u planning to test?


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## lxb

Jaynie82 said:


> Yeah you are right!
> 
> When are u planning to test?

every cycle I told myself to wait 'til AF is late.... 
if my temp doesn't drop tomorrow morning.. then maybe tomorrow? 

hehe... you?


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## countrygirl86

lauren, my cycles are all over the place, the only reason I can think of is that I came off BC in June and they still haven't regulated. That or there's something wrong in there lol Hopefully breaking the rules results in your BFP! I've broken some rules this cycle too lol I've done yoga before but haven't put it back in my routine lately. I've heard it has positive effects on TTC so it's worth a shot. I love how in control of your health you are!

Jaynie and lxb - keep us posted on your tests! Does LH come back when you are pg? I'm still figuring out those OPKs lol HPTs are next!


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## haribo813

Fantastic news Sweetie and the BFPs on this page are really picking up! Willing it will come along for all of us this month!

Jaynie I am also 8DPO so with you and lxb on the waiting for dreaded AF front... i'm hoping that feeling so tired yesterday might be a good symptom but it's more likely to do with lack of sleep over weekend! I won't test until it's overdue (spent too much on those darn kits!) so Mon 30 April i guess...Treasured, how many DPO are you?

Country i'm having an ultrasound scan on my ovaries and womb - i have had some discomfort on left hand side over last month so went to doctors to get it checked out. But rang up today and the hospital says it hasn't received my Dr's referral even though i went 2 weeks ago, agony! Now by the time they get their act together i'll prob have AF and will have to wait longer to have a scan...

Lauren - glad you're enjoying yourself this month, taking it easy must help otherwise how do all these i'm not even trying for a baby types get preggo? I have been doing yoga since Jan and have found it very relaxing which can only be a good thing i guess?

Sashimi hope you're doing ok.

Baby dust and lots of fx for us all xxx


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## SleepyOwl

I guess that baby dust really is spreading fast on this thread, huh? Who's next??!

Congrats Sweetie!! I'm sorry that you're sick :( I hope you get better quickly. 

Lxb - I was dying at your ninja emoticon. Like I'm still laughing like a fool over here. Are you going to test soon or wait til AF now? I personally try to wait...I don't succeed, but I do try. Are you having any symptoms? 

Jaynie - I read that some OPK's can pick up on whether you're PG or not, but I def. wouldn't trust them. That being said...I def. peed on a bunch last cycle and they were all stark white. 

Countrygirl - Sorry I abandoned you with the SMEP! I was shocked at how quickly I got a +OPK. OH and I are going to BD tonight then give it a rest. So exhausted after all of our guests this weekend and with work. I hope you get your +OPK soon. When did you O last cycle? 

Lauren - I def. think yoga helps me to relax. But I also feel that way about running and exercise. I do yoga maybe twice a week but run probably 4 times a week. It totally helps and I always feel SO much better after I do it especially when I'm down. 

Haribo - Stinks that referral hasn't gone through yet. Any word from them? 

Sashimi - Hope you're IUI went well and that you're doing alright!!

I think I'm 2DPO but I have no idea to be honest. I doubt I'll get crosshairs in FF this month because of the two days of discarded temps. I think we need to keep with our two BFP's per cycle that Biostat and Sweetie have started. We'll all have our BFP's in no time if that's the case!!


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## SleepyOwl

lxb said:


> :haha: .... yay for ninja BD!! :ninja: what brand of OPK do you use? I use clearblue digital and this is only my 3rd cycle using it. I usually stop testing once i got +OPK

Lxb, I got mine from early-pregnancy-tests.com. They're def. internet cheapies, but I feel like they work? Not that I have a reference point, but still, lol. With the Clearblue Digitals, do you test once or twice a day? I usually test 2-3 times with the cheapies throughout the day mostly because I'm obsessed.


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## lauren26

Sleepy - Wow, you seem really fit!! I have stopped going to my very strenuous aerobic weights class and I've definitely puffed up as a result. It was getting to the point where the class was just totally taking it out of me. I still like to look and feel toned, so I think that yoga will help! It's crazy how fast my body's changed since stopping strength training. Anyhow, I'm glad to hear so many people on this thread do yoga! It's been a long time for me. I've never felt relaxed running, lol. I despise it. I take super long walks and hikes with my BF and that's very relaxing and good exercise, but I need the strength training so I feel like I look good...I wish I was a runner! Super duper exercise.

With OPKs used as hpts--I have heard that the chemical makeup of LH is similar to that of HCG. That said, they are probably not reliable as hpts. I have PAOS with OPKs in an effort to try and see if I'm pg and I've gotten half-positives. I think that LH is always in our bodies and just surges before O, making it always detectable with an OPK but much more present before O, thus the darker line on the OPK. So it's possible to get a test line on an OPK without being pregnant, and I think it happens all the time! The ones I've seen pics of that were used successfully as hpts had VERY dark test lines. 

AFM, I think I'm 3dpo, no cross hairs yet. I am hoping my temp takes another jump tomorrow so I can get FF to give me hairs! My bbs are starting to get tender so maybe the progesterone is just taking a few days to kick in. 

Sashimi! I miss you! How's it going so far?


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## countrygirl86

Sleepy, it's ok! I'm excited for you! So you are officially in the 2ww? I think this cycle should be shorter than the last, I O'd on CD27 last cycle but it was my longest cycle to date. I got my tests from early-pregnancy-tests.com too! Do you ever get a control line with no test line? I'm wondering if I'm THAT far away from O that there's no LH or if I got a bad batch? 

haribo, I hope they get their act together and you can get in there and get it all sorted out soon! It's frustrating to find out you've been waiting for nothing. All part of the process I guess though. How are you feeling now?

lauren, I've started taking zumba classes which I'm finding quite the workout (my instructor also does bootcamps) and fun! I actually have definition in my arms lol How are you feeling?

Sashimi, how are you doing? How's the IUI? We miss you!!!

I did an OPK last night a little late but it was stark white, I'm hoping it'll start getting some colour to it soon! One I did on the weekend had a light pink line but the rest have been white. Anyone know anything about the soy isoflavones I see on here? I bought some caffeine free green tea I'm going to start drinking and sunflower seeds. Not sure what the sunflower seeds do but I'm going to give them a shot!


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## lxb

sleepy - it's recommended to test twice a day (once after ~10am, once in the evening ~7pm). But i only test once a day (~after 10am, before noon). If I feel like I should O soon (with CM), then I'll test in the evening time too. I tried to cut back the amount of liquid I drink but didn't work because it is SO cold here in the office and kept finding myself drinking warm water! But it seems to be okay to detect LH surge. :)

haribo - hope we all get our bfp & be bump buddies! :dance:

country - i read about sunflower seeds about how it'll make you more alkaline? more spermy friend environment? is that what it is?


----------



## treasured

I cannot be bothered to wait!! 4dpo.... hmmmmmm. Why is it that we all are willing to wait 9 long months once we know that babies in there, but cant even wait 7 days in the first place! its so hard ! 

The weather isn't helping my mood either, its been bucketing down all day! Cant wait for my holiday to Turkey in a months time :) soo excited to just get away and relax with OH for two weeks. Should be O'ing while were away so if this months unsuccessful maybe I'll be lucky while I'm there! 

How is everyone getting on? Anyone else going to start testing in a week? My ticker says thats when I can test but do you think thats too early? AF is due on the 3rd I think so hopefully it would pick up the hcg by then? 

Thanks ladies! Also Congrattts Sweety hope you feel better soon so you can enjoy this time!! xxx


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## sweetie888

treasured said:


> I cannot be bothered to wait!! 4dpo.... hmmmmmm. Why is it that we all are willing to wait 9 long months once we know that babies in there, but cant even wait 7 days in the first place! its so hard !
> 
> The weather isn't helping my mood either, its been bucketing down all day! Cant wait for my holiday to Turkey in a months time :) soo excited to just get away and relax with OH for two weeks. Should be O'ing while were away so if this months unsuccessful maybe I'll be lucky while I'm there!
> 
> How is everyone getting on? Anyone else going to start testing in a week? My ticker says thats when I can test but do you think thats too early? AF is due on the 3rd I think so hopefully it would pick up the hcg by then?
> 
> Thanks ladies! Also Congrattts Sweety hope you feel better soon so you can enjoy this time!! xxx

LOL Treasured! I know what you mean - the TWW is torture! 

Turkey will be amazing! I've wanted to go there for awhile! Hope you'll let us know how your trip was and definitely just go, relax, and enjoy b/c if/when you do get preggers, it will be tough to do a trip for awhile! Also, enjoy drinking on vacation if you like to! :) And Thanks!


----------



## lauren26

treasured - You and I are on the same day! My FF says I'm 3dpo, but I'm positive I'm 4. I will probably start testing in about a week, though if I know what's good for me I'll wait longer, lol! I am an ADDICT in the 2nd week of the TWW. That vacation sounds exciting!! The weather where I live is record-breaking hot. It's very nice! I know what you mean about rain, though--when I feel cooped up it's all I can do not to think about TTC all day :)

country - What is Zumba? I keep hearing about it but have no idea what it is! I will do a Vinyasa class tonight, I'm very excited! I used to do yoga sooo much and was in great shape....Of course I was also 8 years younger, lol. I meant to say before I'm sorry to hear the pill has affected you so much! Hopefully your cycles will start to even out. Have you heard of Evening Primrose Oil? I think it may help people O sooner, but I'm not totally sure. Also, I would try to pee when your urine is very concentrated if possible. I know it's hard--I pee every hour! I sometimes test in the AM, even though you're not supposed to, because that's when I've gone the longest. That said, I bet your tests will be pretty negative until right before you O, then suddenly really dark. I always get scared that I won't O but the dark test line sneaks up on me.


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## preg_pilot

@lauren

I´ve done zumba. One of my favorite exercise programs of all time.
It´s basically a dance aerobics program.

Just really fun music, and steps to match :)
Simple and fun.
It takes a session or two to get the steps down.


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## lauren26

preg_pilot said:


> @lauren
> 
> I´ve done zumba. One of my favorite exercise programs of all time.
> It´s basically a dance aerobics program.
> 
> Just really fun music, and steps to match :)
> Simple and fun.
> It takes a session or two to get the steps down.

Sounds really fun! I should check it out. I stopped going to my aerobic weights class (it was like a body pump type class) because it was more strenuous and exhausting than fun. I want a FUN class. Thanks for telling me about it!


----------



## countrygirl86

lxb - I'll take whatever benefits it'll give! Thanks :)

treasured lol I hate the wait too! We are here to help you through it though!

lauren, thanks for the advice! I might try tomorrow with fmu. Glad I'm not alone! Zumba is a blast, I've learned to laugh at myself though cause I'm sure I look silly at times! It really is like choreographed dancing, my instructor says it doesn't really matter if you aren't doing the moves exactly, just keep moving.

preg - are you still doing zumba?


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## Jaynie82

Ok so I caved and now feel crap. BFN but u know when u tell yourself otherwise and then just have to test to satisfy yourself... No self control at all. 
To top it of now getting cramps like AF is on her way so we will see. Isn't due until sat but I had a 24 day cycle last month so if it ends up being another short one I think my LP is too short at only 10 days. 
Oh well hopefully it starts before the weekend. Onwards and upwards! &#55357;&#56861;


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## lauren26

I'm sorry, Jaynie! You still have a few days yet, though! Are you 7dpo? Also, I have heard that a 10 day phase isn't ideal but can def be OK.


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## preg_pilot

countrygirl86 said:


> preg - are you still doing zumba?

Not at the moment. I moved away from my country in January, and haven´t been since then. But I´m moving back next week, and will start again then.
Too bad they take a summer vacation then, until august, but I will start again then too.


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## lxb

preg_pilot said:


> countrygirl86 said:
> 
> 
> preg - are you still doing zumba?
> 
> Not at the moment. I moved away from my country in January, and haven´t been since then. But I´m moving back next week, and will start again then.
> Too bad they take a summer vacation then, until august, but I will start again then too.Click to expand...

Oo.. I've always wanted to try zumba. saw some online videos and wanted to wake up earlier to do it. But each morning I chose sleep over exercise. :blush:


----------



## preg_pilot

lxb said:


> preg_pilot said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> countrygirl86 said:
> 
> 
> preg - are you still doing zumba?
> 
> Not at the moment. I moved away from my country in January, and haven´t been since then. But I´m moving back next week, and will start again then.
> Too bad they take a summer vacation then, until august, but I will start again then too.Click to expand...
> 
> Oo.. I've always wanted to try zumba. saw some online videos and wanted to wake up earlier to do it. But each morning I chose sleep over exercise. :blush:Click to expand...

The classes I had were 2x a week in the evenings, and a free-choice one at 10am on saturdays too.


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## SleepyOwl

Country: Yes I'm in the TWW! I'm really excited about it this time around, but don't want to get my hopes too high you know? As for the OPK's, mine are basically a control line and nothing else all the time except for a few days around O time and even then they are very faint. So I think that's pretty normal for this brand OPK unless we both have bad batches, lol. I didn't see a faint line on mine til CD9 this cycle and it was super dark on CD11. After that, the line started to fade/disappear. I think you're batch is prob fine!

Lauren: Don't be deceived - I'm not that fit. I just have a lot of endurance to be able to run. I feel totally flabtastic otherwise! Once I get my BFP I'll have an excuse for this belly lol!! Is Vinyasa a type of yoga?

Pregpilot: I looove zumba. I'm terrible at it, but it's such a good workout and SO much fun! 

Jaynie: Sorry about the BFN :( Don't lose hope though - it's only 7DPO, right?! 

Lxb: Yes, that's what I read! The first time I used them I was using FMU, then realized I was doing it all wrong, lol! Now I do like you do and just try to hold it to make sure it's accurate. 

FF gave me my crosshairs today. Thank the Lord! So that would make me 3DPO. Sounds like a lot of us are on very, very similar cycles which I love!


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## lauren26

lxb - When are you testing? Your chart looks good!

Sleepy - I hear you on having an excuse for the tummy!! Still, running is such good exercise! Good for you :) Vinyasa is a style of yoga where you do a series of poses--same poses, sometimes in a different order. It was a weird class. I go to the Y in my town because it's a block from my house but this class has urged me to get a yoga punch card at a real studio, lol.


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Ladies!!! I'm here!! Thanks for thinking of me even though I've been AWOL. I'm still getting used to being stuck on a computer 8 hours a day and can't seem to bring myself to do more Internet surfing when I get home.

It seems like everyone is doing really great in here. Sleepy, country, Lauren, my second IUI went well. I know for sure I Oed on Saturday night, for the first time in my life I felt O cramps! They whole assisted conception thing is weird in the sense that I don't get any CM (EWCM or other) on the fertility drugs. So all this time getting to know my body and my cycles is kind of irrelevant now, but I feel like I'm in good hands.

I loved the acupuncture session I did with my friend on Saturday after the first IUI. She is so knowledgable about fertility and other health issues, I felt great doing it. Even th nurse at my fertility clinic really supports acupuncture. I fell asleep during the session and have even sleeping better all week in general. So I feel great knowing I did everything possible this cycle, but have had moments of depression thinking to myself "if we did everything we could and it doesn't work this time, how will it ever?"

I even find my mom not being as supportive anymore. She used to be like "Oh I bet you'll get your bfp in the next month or two" and now she is saying things like "oh you don't want it to happen now, you don't want to be pregnant when you go to Hawaii in June. It's better if it happens later." So I feel like even my own mom has lost faith that it's going to happen.

I saw a good friend of mine on Monday... A guy I went to high school with and we have remained somewhat close. I opened up to him about the whole fertility process and he was fascinated. I explained the "mix test" that I had done, which involved using the term EWCM... And he told me that his gf gets EWCM on th 15th day of her cycle and neither or them knew what it was, so the gf got spooked and went to the doctor. Amazing how people don't know their own bodies. I never got EWCM on the pill so when I had it the first month I went off it, I admit I googled it pretty extensively. Anyway, talking to my guy friend about it and hearing his funny story about them both being puzzled kind of made me LOL and feel better.

Today however, I met up with some other friends after work at a pub and when they saw that I wasn't drinking I got grilled about being pregnant. I said no, I have a thyroid disorder and can't drink on my meds. It's true about the thyroid, but I made up the not being able to drink on the meds part and felt rather clever.

So that's all that is new with me. This is a tough 2ww... I'm supposed to test on may 4, but will wait till Saturday may 5 because I don't want to be at work if its not good news. 

I saw some of you were talking about fitness... I've slacked at the gym big time and haven't been since December. There is a great gym beside my new office and I'd love to do some of the classes, especially at lunch. But since I've slacked for so long, I'm nervous to start it up again during the 2ww. What kind of exercise do you think is okay when TTC? I'm definitely going to take up yoga again, but unsure of what else is safe.

Miss you ladies! I'm going to keep up in here a lot more now that I've settled in at work. I feel like I miss so much when I go AWOL for a couple of days!!! Xoxoxox

And a big congrats to sweetie!!!! Get well and keep us posted on how you are!!


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## lauren26

Sashimi! Glad you're back :) I totally understand not wanting to get on a computer again after you've been at work on a computer all day! I'm glad that you are feeling good about everything you guys did--I feel the same way about doing it 'right' and not getting pg. I try to remind myself of that statistic that there is a 20-30% chance if the timing is all right--since your timing is totally spot on, I know it will be just a matter of time for you if this isn't the month (and Fx that it is!), but I also, of course, relate to how devastating it can feel to get that bfn after doing it all perfectly and well-timed. It's so hard to feel like something so life-changing is out of our control!

Good work on the thyroid explanation! I always just want to tell people that it's none of their business, but I usually find a way to change the subject instead. I feel the same way about not finding the support I once had. I mostly notice it with friends--saying things like, See, you needed to make X decision before getting pg, or Oh, your family wants to go to Mexico for Christmas, you can't go if you're pg. I know their intentions are good, but my GFs offer sooo much speculation around the emotional or spiritual or whatever reasons why I am not pg. Their intention is very nice but it also makes me feel like I'm failing!

I JUST read somewhere that it's good to avoid really strenuous exercise during the TWW. For me, this validated me quitting my weights class--it was super hard, and got to the point where it was anaerobic. I always had a feeling that it wasn't good for me during TWW, and even skipped a couple of times when I was scared it would make my period come early. Anyway, yoga is probably great--I'm sure there are poses to avoid but I don't know what they are. Planning on researching that since I've started up again! I think anything moderate is fine like power walks (sounds so dorky but I love walking) or maybe a lighter spin class? GL and let me know if you find something that's TTC friendly!


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks for the fast response Lauren!!! Yes, I read too about avoid strenuous exercise. My doctor says doing what you are used to is fine if you keep it light. But I'm used to doing nothing!!! So I'll just wait it out and wait till after May 5 to see what happens. I read somewhere about "taking the path of least regret" while TTC. So if you think you're going to regret a spin class or having that glass of wine, I say it's better to avoid it.

I think my mom feels so helpless that she is just saying things she thinks will make it better. She got really choked up when I called after our first failed IUI. I was fine until I heard her voice and immediately lost it , and well... You know how moms are. So my parents are really into watching Lost now because it just became available on Netflix Canada. So we are discussing Lost instead of TTC. I guess I can live with that. Lol!!

Oh I also read about not doing anything that will raise your body temperature like saunas or hot baths. I usually love taking baths before bed, so I've been avoiding those as well. And coffee! Maybe that's why I'm sleeping better!


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi, so glad that the IUI went well and that you are enjoying the acupuncture! It must have been so relaxing!! Very, very clever of you with the thyroid explanation. You're quick on your feet! I would have fumbled around and then said yes lol. 

I know it is so difficult to feel like you have done everything right do to say and not get that BFP. But really it is just a matter of time and yours is coming. Hopefully very soon :) I often feel the same...like how will this miracle ever happen, but it does everyday. We just have to wait for our day I suppose. So much easier said than done.

As for exercise do something on the lighter side - walking, hiking, yoga, elliptical on a lower level. I run fairly often but am planning in cutting back after my next race because I'm finding it too strenuous now.


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## preg_pilot

SleepyOwl said:


> Pregpilot: I looove zumba. I'm terrible at it, but it's such a good workout and SO much fun!

That´s the beauty of Zumba :) You don´t have to be good at it. You´re just supposed to have fun :happydance:


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks Sleepy! It felt good to make up something about why I wasn't drinking. I've been so open about TTC with too many people and it was nice to not be the person who isnt struggling for a change. Sometimes I can't believe I struggle with fertility. I never thought in a million years that I'd be one of those women!!! My mom got pregnant so easily, as I've mentioned once on the pill with my brother and then after reversing having her tubes cut with me. She was told she had a 1 in a million chance she would get pregnant after the surgery and well...here I am 30 years later!! It's interesting that both my brother and I have struggled with fertility. My SIL joked that my mom used up all the good luck baby dust! 

So I'm nearly halfway through the 2ww and I've decided not to symptom spot. I'm just goin to go with the flow, eat healthy and take it pretty easy until next weekend. 

How is everyone else doing?


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## lxb

Sashimi - Glad to hear it went well

pregpilot - Yep.. I can't dance.. but I like to move with music! :haha:

Lauren - I've been putting testing off as I am a little discourage by my temperature. To what I thought could be 'implantation dip' seem to stay there (6DPO -- CD22). *squeeze boobs* .. nope, they don't hurt as much anymore, only a little bit.

Been a tempt addict the past 2 mornings! (My usual temp time is 6:30am)
This morning's temperature(s) :blush:
6:25AM - 98.31F
6:30AM - 98.43F
6:45AM - 98.34F
6:50AM - 98.45F

Still above coverline, but I have a feeling it'll drop significantly by tomorrow as AF is due ~Sat :shrug:


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## SashimiMimi

Good luck lxb. I could never temp properly, so I admire anyone who sticks with it and all it's confusion.

Is Zumba hard to keep up with? I'm always the person who is about 3 steps behind in step classes!


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## lauren26

Sashimi - I have not heard of the path of least regret--I must say that after several y pump classes I felt cramps coming on and that pre-AF heaviness and wondered if I'd just un-stuck something. I loooove any excuse NOT to do that super strenuous exercise, lol! Plus, it's such a beautiful spring where I live, and unseasonably warm, that I'd much rather hike or walk. My OH just got two bicycles, too, in hopes that we could do some spring and summer bike rides. As long as I'm not climbing hills, that will probably be OK! 

I really never thought I'd be someone who struggled with fertility, either. I'm finding that as the months go on it's difficult for me to 'feel' fertile, if that makes sense. Of course my GFs think that's the big magic reason I'm not pg--not that THAT puts any more pressure on me, lol. I'm just hoping and praying that it's got something to do with having our first, and that the others will come easily and quickly after that! Good call on not symptom spotting, too. I am trying to resist the urge, too. I know that it just causes me more stress than relief. 

lxb - I hope your temps take a jump back up! I TOTALLY temped twice a few days this week, but I also woke up with my mouth wiiiide open, lol, and my mouth was cold and dry. My second temp happened right away, so I didn't move around much, but it was .3 degrees higher. I noticed that, without the re-temps, my temps have been almost exactly the same for the past 4 days....I have a brand new thermometer this cycle, so I'm not sure why. Oh well! :)

Ladies, I noticed something I wanted to share. While I was stalking the TWW boards :blush:, I saw the April testing thread that I had left. They had 106 testers and 22 BFPs...almost exactly 20% of the women testing got BFPs. I know that statistic, that there is a 20-30% chance every month of getting pg, but seeing it in action made me feel a lot better. When I was still a part of that thread I felt awful about myself because it seemed like EVERYONE on it was getting their BFP. Turns out only 1/5th of them! 

OK! Sorry for the novel, lol! I hope everyone has a great day.


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## countrygirl86

Sleepy - thanks for the reassurance about the OPKs! Until I see a positive I think I'll have my doubts about them but charting is definitely helping me. Yay for being 3/4 dpo!

Sashimi - I've only heard great things about acupuncture and IUI/IVF so hopefully the combination will do it this month for you! Very clever comment to your friends! I've begun thinking of some 'excuses' for either when we start getting help or when I get my BFP. I still have the odd drink now and then so no one is on to us yet... I hadn't heard of keeping exercise on the lighter side, hope the zumba would be ok? I like that path of least regret, I'll have to use that once I finally get to my tww!

preg - it is fun isn't it! I just have a good laugh at myself!

I'm doing good, still waiting to O but we're having fun with the SMEP so far! It may get a little challenging this weekend to keep on track as we're going camping and sleeping in a tent trailer with friends so I won't be able to temp (mine beeps) and we'll have to BD tomorrow morning and Sunday night but I'm sure it'll all work out!


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## countrygirl86

lol looks like a bunch of us posted at the same time! Just to touch on the 'feeling infertile', it had never occurred to me until I met DH and found out about his struggle with cancer. I immediately got used to the idea that it may take more of an effort for us but I still feel disappointed it didn't come easier and probably won't :( At least we know there's almost always something they can do to help, it's usually just a matter of time and stress lol


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## treasured

:dust::af:Sweetie- Thank you! yesss, unless I get my BFP this month I will be taking it easy while im away and won't feel guilty about having some drinks and fun; we cant put our whole lives on hold can we? I like that your sticking around in this thread :) keeping us positive hehe. Have you joined any pregnancy forums yet?

Lauren- wooohooo, hoping we are both lucky together then ! I will probably cave and test in a week too! I have a few pound shop cheapies and a tesco test so will do them over three days from the 3rd probs! I see your from colorado! Ive been there once when I was very young but remember it being very hot, you're lucky, we have rain constantly and very cold :(! 

Jaynie- I noticed you mentioned about having only a 24 day cycle! the last 3 months I was on a 26 day cycle but ovulated on day 16 giving me a 10 day lp :( I have been taking B6 and last month I had a 28 day cycle, so either ovulated earlier, or increased my luteal phase by 2 days which is great! Ive had longer cycles before though so maybe my body is just weird haha, but its worth a try? do you know exactly when you O'd or are you just basing it on your usual date? 

I dont really have any updates about my TWW, been waking up with a very dry mouth for the last 2 days and some cramps and 'wet feeling' down stairs. But I'm pretty sure I've felt these things before and not been preg... what a confusion! :D :) :dust: :dust:


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## lxb

SashimiMimi said:


> Good luck lxb. I could never temp properly, so I admire anyone who sticks with it and all it's confusion.
> 
> Is Zumba hard to keep up with? I'm always the person who is about 3 steps behind in step classes!

Thanks Sashimi~ I think step classes is a bit complicated to me, with all the high/low steps and moving all around the steps. :wacko: Zumba, they break down the steps for you if you are just starting too~ U can come take the class with me as I'm also about 3 steps behind in step classes! hahah.... we'll just do our own thing :dance:


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## lauren26

treasured - Yay for testing buddies! I am SURE I will cave before a week's time. I have very little willpower in this area. Still, if I can hold out I will, since I hate seeing that BFN. Yes, Colorado is hot during the summer, but pretty cold during winter. It's very warm now, which is unusual this early. Still, 300 days of sunshine per year! I love it. I've lived here all my life. It's hard to leave such a pretty, sunny place! Are you in the UK? It's beautiful there, too!

country - That must be frustrating KNOWING that your OH could have issues--still, I know of cancer survivors who had successful pregnancies. Hopefully you will have yours soon! I guess I realized that I'm no longer believing that I can't get pg, but that I just don't feel particularly fertile. I don't know what fertile is supposed to feel like--maybe because I get 2 days of EWCM at very best. Anyway.

I am off to acupuncture. Enjoy your afternoon, ladies!


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## Jaynie82

Hi treasured! Yes currently on day 25 and ovulated day 15. Last month my cycle was 24 days. I seen your post on the vitamins and how it increased your LP. Will be trying I next month!
What cycle day are you now?
Feeling similar but this is the first day in about a week that I have had energy to do stuff. It was getting ridiculous as I was going to bed at 9pm and still shattered in the morning


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## treasured

lauren- hehe im trying to stop myself from testing, and I find if I am busy the temptation isnt as bad, but Im free at the weekend and nights next week so I feel I might give in when there is nothing else to do! Yeahh, I love living in the UK, however if I could change the weather I totally would, fed up of being ghost like and pale!

Jaynie- ohh atleast you are passed the 24 day mark then, I know your only on 10dpo but dont panic cause AF hasnt come yet :) when do you plan to test again? 
I am on CD 21 now and aprox 6dpo... I wasnt OPKing though so I may be a few days off, I think me and OH covered the bases for early O and late O I HOPE!! I'll probs cave and test before a week but if not it will be on around the 3rd so we shall see! 
I guess if its a BFN atleast I can enjoy my holiday :) xxx


----------



## mumface26

Hello everyone!
Ok so we have only just started ttc after 6 years bcp and I have pcos but I am not overweight and GP didnt seem concerned when I told her my baby plans, she just booked me for a blood test on 3/5 to check my hormone levels. My periods seem ok approx 21-26 days, heavy at first then light about 6 days max and about 10days before period i get cramps and thin discharge so might that be me ovulating or trying to?
Partner thinks Im reading into it too much, maybe I am but its only natural right?
I like talking things through and would love a buddy or two :hugs:

xxx


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## mumface26

oh i need to also add i have taken evening primrose every day for about a year now so that should help too??


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## lxb

welcome~ & FX for you!

I have a feeling you'll get more than two buddies from this thread! :hugs:

Is your LP ~10 days? cramps + EWCM most likely means you're ovulating.
Do you take your body temperature? Which CD are you on now?


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## SleepyOwl

Hi Mumface! Glad you've joined us :) It's definitely normal to read into everything when you're TTC. It sounds like you're body is either ovulating or trying to. How long have you been off BCP?


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## preg_pilot

mumface26 said:


> oh i need to also add i have taken evening primrose every day for about a year now so that should help too??

I don´t take primrose, but from what I understand, you´re supposed to take it until Ovulation, and then stop for the rest of that cycle?
can anyone confirm?


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren, I'm glad you calculated the 20% in regards to the April testers board. We may feel like everyone is getting their BFPs, but really it's not as many as we think! I know what you mean about feeling fertile. But don't let the visible amount of EWCM deter you. I would get a lot some months, only to later find out that mine is a human sperm blocker. But I can see how being part of that board would have been frustrating. Just before I posted I saw we had reached 400 posts! I'm still amazed and thankful for this incredible supportive group... With new people often dropping in! It's great!!

Country you are right that there are lots of options if it turns out that your DH's previous battle with cancer is affecting your TTCing. IUI is one option. I get that feeling of disappointment too when I think about how this whole thing isn't coming easily, but at least there ARE options!!

Hi Mumface! good luck with the blood test and your first shot at TTC. I think it's great your doctor is testing early on, most won't even flinch until you've been TTC for a year.

Sleepy, I've been thinking about what you said and it seems there are so many cases that everything is done and timed perfectly and it doesn't work... Then suddenly it just works for no reason. So I'll try to think of that if my results aren't favorable. My friend the other day asked if I was looking into adoption. It really annoyed me, but then again not everyone is as well versed on TTC as we are. I've only been trying for 10 cycles and only started fertility treatments a month ago. I do feel I NEED the experience of being pregnant. The idea used to scare me in my early 20s, but now I think it must be the most incredible experience in the world. My body is supposed to be designed to have babies and I NEED to physically experience it. People just don't get it and the adoption crack is exactly why I'm telling people I can't drink because of my thyroid condition!! It's nice being in my new office where no one knows a thing about my struggle with fertility or that I often go for fertility appointments before work. It's likew clean slate and I can just be me.

Lxb I'm often uncoordinated with classes where you have to memorize steps, but I bet it would be fun! I may give Zumba a try... I think one of my cousins is a Zumba instructor, so hopefully being good at it runs in the family.

So all my fertility treatments have totally made my cycle wonky. I was in sync with mostly everyone in here and now the early ovulation has altered my schedule. I find it odd that they told me to come in and test may 4 which is only 12dpiui, but I guess they know what they are talking about. I've never tested before a missed period (except for last month only because I wanted a heads up before my blood test). When some of you test at 4dpo for example, is it really possible to get a bfp that early? Even before implantation? I love poas, so im suprised i dont do it more! OH doesn't understand why I test at home when I am scheduled to go in for the blood test and I don't think he gets that I need the heads up.

Haribo, Treasured, Jaynie... How are you all doing today? Am I forgetting anyone? Sorry for the long posts. I felt like a rebel posting from my phone while at work!! But it's good to be back and catch up with everyone! You're all really helping me get through this loooonnnggg 2ww.


----------



## lauren26

mumface - Welcome!! You've got buddies :) GL with the TTC! We are with you--and we all read into things :)

Sashimi - I know exactly how you feel about needing to have the experience of being pregnant. That's what I have told my OH ever since the adoption issue came up. I'm not opposed to adoption, but I'd first like to have the experience of being pregnant. I never thought I'd want it so bad! I used to imagine how uncomfortable it must be and was horrified at the thought of labor. Now it sounds incredible! I'm sorry your cycles are wonky, but I'm excited for your cycles being so closely monitored by the fertility clinic. That must give you some soundness of mind! Also, I'm pretty sure it's not possible to get a + at 4dpo. They say that the average window for implantation is 6-12dpo, with the absolute earliest being 5dpo. You can only get a + after implantation, and even then it takes a few days for the embryo (don't know if that's the correct term at that point) and your body to produce enough hcg to be detectable on a urine test. 

This leads me to my next point/question (in my lecture, lol)--it may be TMI, sorry in advance. We just got home from a walk and after using the restroom I got one pink spot on the tp. My instant instinct was to be excited because I'm 5dpo and it could be IB or late O bleed, but my second instinct was to freak out because of my history with spotting. My temps have been relatively flat compared to other cycles, and I've always been scared I have a progesterone issue....Since doing acupuncture, better diet, and vitamins I've not really spotted before AF, but I had a couple of cycles where I spotted for 7-10 days before. I hope hope hope this is not going to continue! Trying not to read into it but obviously I already am, lol. 

Excited to hear from you ladies tomorrow :) I too really appreciate this thread and the support! I don't know what I'd do without you ladies!


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## countrygirl86

lauren, I don't know what feeling fertile feels like either! I suppose I'll only know if/when I have a little bean growing inside lol You do a lot to help yourself with the acupuncture and eating well so hopefully you take comfort in knowing you do a lot more than some people! Your spotting could definitely be IB, have you had any more?

Jaynie - hopefully the sleepiness is a good sign! When do you plan to test?

treasured - holidays are great for keeping our minds off TTC aren't they? I try to keep busy planning for my BFs wedding parties and such but those TTC thoughts still creep up in there :)

mumface - welcome! these are an absolutely wonderful group of ladies! How long have you been trying for? My cycles were all over the place when I came off bcp, they are still all over and it's been 11 months! Not sure about the primrose, no experience with it.

Sashimi - thank you, I wander over to assisted conception every once in a while and read some of the threads just to get an idea of what people go through. I'm not scared of what may happen but kind of excited if that makes any sense. I truly want to experience pregnancy and childbirth but I realize I may not be able to do that (it's a possibility it won't work out) so I've also toyed with the idea of adoption and I think above all I want to be a Mom more. DH has a harder time thinking about adoption and isn't very receptive when I bring it up, he just wants to see what happens with our stuff first... It's so true that people have no idea about fertility, my pregnant SIL said I better watch out cause if we have to have IVF I could end up with 10 babies cause that's how many embryos (? same as lauren) they put in you lol I just smiled. I think they'd be able to detect it on the blood test at 12dpiui but I'm not sure.


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## lauren26

country - Thank you! I do take comfort in that. I have tried to really prioritize health and eliminating stress as much as possible this past year. No more spotting at this point today. I realize it may be waaaaay to early for IB. I guess we'll see!

Jaynie - I am curious when you'll test too!


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## treasured

mumface- Hello! Welcome to by far the most friendly and helpful thread ive joined on b&b! So exciting to be your first cycle TTC! I remember when I first started trying and was oblivious to so many things, which have been made much clearer with the help of the people on here! I hope your BFP comes quicker than mine seems to be taking hehe! 

sashimi- Im good today thank you :) got a karaoke night planned with friends tonight so excited for that! good for taking my mind off, were also getting a chinese banquet which I am going to stufff in my face :D hehe! How are you? its exciting that you wont have to wait till AF is due to be tested! I think that is around the date I will be testing so FX for us both :) 

lauren- a little bit of spotting sounds good to me at 5dpo. I have heard of people implanting as early as dpo although it is unlikely, but I dont know what other explination there could be. Ive heard of breakthrough bleeding but I amnt quite sure what it is.... sorry! haha. I spotted for 7 days AFTER AF once, 2 cycles ago, never has that happened and I was worried it might have been an early miscarrage, but never found out. Its strange what our bodies can throw at us that completly puts us of track of what we thought was going on!! when do you plan to test cause I think we are about equal in dpo now :) 

countrygirl- ohhh wedding parties sound fun! seeing as I'm just 21 not many of my friends are thinking about weddings yet which sucks cause I want one! They are all just convinced that I am going to be the first one to get married... which means I'll have to pay! I like free parties better hehe.


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## lauren26

treasured - I agree that it's unlikely that it would happen that early. It could be delayed O bleeding. Also, I did notice a teensy bump on my cervix the day before and last night it was gone--I know little cysts are normal--wondering if that's what it was and it broke and bled just a bit. Your karaoke night sounds awesome!! I love weddings, too :) Unfortunately most of my friends are also not getting married! Some of them don't believe in marriage, and some of them are just in partnerships and don't 'need' marriage. I loooove weddings!


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## lxb

Ooo.. i love karaoke~~~ Not a good singer but who cares right?? :)

Ladies, I'm 99.9% sure AF will show either today or tomorrow. My temperature dropped again this morning to 98.13F (it is usually around 98.0 before AF's arrival).

I will block that :witch: for u ladies behind me! Run~~ :dance:


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## lauren26

lxb - Boooooo to AF!! Still holding out for you :) And LOL to running and the emoticons.


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## lxb

Yea... :( just started spotting! Will be expecting a full flow tmr. At least I can move onto the next cycle now~~

Run ladies! I'm tying her down for ya! :wohoo:


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## Pino6161

Hi all I am 21, and I have been married over a year to my hisgh chool sweet heart of 5 years, he is 23. I have been TTC for about 2 years now, and I'm starting to feel hopless. I have been to a Dr, and me and my husband were cleared as healthy and fertile. It's frustrating. Anyways, I would like to say hello, and some support would be great. Thank you all!!!!


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## treasured

lxb- noooo so upset that AF is coming your way :(, are you sure it is deffinately her? not just spotting? LOVING your smileys hehe they always make me laugh. 

Heyyy Pino! welcome to the thread! I'm also 21 but been TTC for 7 months. God, two years sucks :( Im struggling now so it must be tough for you. I know being cleared must be even more frustrating though as theres no quick fix! Dont worry though, everyone in this thread will help you out I can vouch for that :) And we are here if you need to have a good moan too! Where are you on your cycle? I'm planning to test in a few days but dont feel very confident about this month... xxx


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## lauren26

Hello Pino! I'm so sorry you've been struggling with TTC for so long! You'll definitely find some buddies here :)

So still slightly pink CM for me. I'm past the possible IB excitement and on to the fear that it might mean a week of spotting and then AF--I have to laugh at myself because I get so negative so quickly during the TWW. At around 7dpo, like clockwork, I decide it's hopeless and I'll never have a child. Lol! Painful but funny how predictable it is. 

I talked to an old friend from school last night. She was the first of my friends to get pregnant. She had been on the pill for about 12 years, and got off, planning to get pregnant a year later--she thought it would take that long for the effects of the pill to wear off. Lo and behold, she conceived within two weeks. She got pregnant again while breastfeeding--I think she hadn't even had more than one full post-partum cycle yet, and last night on the phone she told me that they are trying to 'carefully plan out' when she'll get pregnant next. Ladies, my blood boiled!! I really wanted to be happy for her and her ability to snap her fingers and be pregnant. I felt like it was just so unfair. And somehow I wished she wouldn't tell me about it, though as her friend I obviously want to know what's going on in her life. Needless to say, I got really discouraged. And of COURSE this spurned me to POAS this am, and it was -. I realize I'm 7dpo, but again, I am feeling very pessimistic about this process right now! I've been pretty good about not symptom spotting, and am definitely more relaxed NTNP, but my excitement and high hopes have still factored in, too. 

Eeeee, sorry to be a wet blanket this morning!! I hope everyone's weekend is starting off well.


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## Pino6161

AF is supposed to start tomorrow, and I want to wait to test. And up until this morning I was hopefull. I have been having weird things going on. Late at night/early morning for the last week and a half I have had a really upset stomach, almost like acid reflux but worse. 2 days ago around 7ish I was really hungry, so I had a grilled cheese and tomatoe soup, no later than 2 minutes later I got really nausious and had to vomit. I know the food was good, because my husband ate the same thing.

Maybe I am thinking to much into this but about 2 weeks ago my husband randomly asked me when my period was coming. I told him, and asked why. He just said he had a strange feeling.....

IDK everyone just says "well just take a test" But in reeality it is so hard month after month to see a negative.

Has anyone felt like this before?


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## Pino6161

This morning my breasts were sore, and that is a major sign of AF coming.

I was also told that when you are pregnant the cervix will go really high. Mine this morning was middle/low


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## Pino6161

Lauren, I know exactly what you are talking about!!! just in the last year, my sister in law got pregnant. My brother as well, and he is 2 years younger than me. It's not fair. I try not to because they are family, but I am very bitter/jealous that I avoid them at all costs.


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## haribo813

Welcome Pino and Mumface! Good to have you both join us and good luck with this month! :hugs:

Lauren how annoying of your friend. I have had similar experiences recently too, people telling me they want to drink over Christmas but will get pregnant in Jan, it makes me so sad and cross. Sashimi, funny your cycle is now out a bit but glad you are sneaking in messages to us at work! Sleepy, Country, hope you're doing well in the 2ww...Treasured-be careful what you wish for on the wedding front! We have been to 19 weddings in the last few years and have another 5 to go this year, when you get to a certain age, they just come rolling in!:wedding:

I'm on CD27 and think I have reached a new low-I got what i hoped was spotting this morning but pretty sure it's not now-I struggled through a baby shower this afternoon, checked my temps when home-it's gone really low and am sure AF is on her wicked way. Am so sad, after yoga, acupuncture, usual supplements, healthy eating, relaxed positive frame of mind and nothing! Feel like crying! Husband on a stag party and in on my own on a Sat night! I was really hopeful this cycle, loads of EWCM and continuous BDing from CD6 to CD17! What more can you do? Am not sure how much longer i can go on TTC.

Lxb your messages really made me laugh, wish I could be so good natured about it! Thanks for trying to sweep her away from us-hopefully all of you others will avoid her. :thumbup:


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## Pino6161

Haribo, don't give up,I have been trying for 2 years, I know for a fact it is discouraging, it outright sucks, but I keep myself going by knowing that things have to change. 

The world is definately not fair, but I try my best to fight it.


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## haribo813

Thanks a lot Pino. I'm still hopeful for you this cycle-some of the symptoms like sore boobs and feeling nauseous are key pregnancy ones so will keep my fx.

I know what you mean about family having children-my sister has 1 and is likely to have her 2nd before we even conceive. I see my niece a lot and i love it but it hurts a lot sometimes and think tomorrow when i see her will be one of those days. I also made the mistake of going on FB and 2 new babies have been born today and pics of another on her 10 month birthday-meanwhile i'm going into cycle 10 and am aged 30, boo.


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## Pino6161

Haribo, it doesn't seem to get easier. You look like a jerk if you avoid it, but it hurts if you don't. I believe we will all get our time. These days 30 isn't that big of a deal. Just try to keep faith.

I'm trying to keep hope this cycle but idk... Have you heard anything about cervical position?? The sore breasts are also asign of my AF. The nausea I have never really dealt with before. IDK about 2 months ago I gave up in a way I still charted my periods but that was it, I had put it out of my mind until my husband brought it up....


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## Pino6161

Ok all wish me luck, I am going to the store and buy a test.


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## lauren26

Good luck!! Let us know how it goes. 

Haribo - I feel you--I got a bit more spotting today and instead of IB I'm thinking that it's going to be the week-long spotting I used to get every cycle. Boo to that! Anyway, a baby shower sounds rough!! I feel the same way about doing everything 'right' and not seeing results. Of course we are technically NTNP...still :) Well, I will keep my Fx and hold out for you!!


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## Pino6161

So I know I am supposed to wait for the first morning urine, but I got impatient and took the test this afternoon...It was negative.... I am so tired of seeing a negative test. I expect AF tomorrow...

IDK I am really disappointed, and overly snappy!!


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## treasured

Pino, any sign of AF yet? I know all the symptoms are like AF but they are the same for pregnancy so dont give up yet! how many dpo are you? some peoples tests dont show up positive for weeks after AF is due. how are you feeling now? 

think im going to test tomorrow morning, although Its only 9dpo i think so probs will be negative! not been feeling any differently really so dont feel very positive this month, feels like giving up sometimes :( xxx


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## lauren26

treasured- I am feeling exactly the same! Trying to stay positive but I already feel like I'm out because I feel totally normal aside from some regular post-O things. It's tough to keep on keeping on! I guess we've got to find a way to stay in the race, though. Fx for you let us know how it goes!


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## lauren26

treasured- I am feeling exactly the same! Trying to stay positive but I already feel like I'm out because I feel totally normal aside from some regular post-O things. It's tough to keep on keeping on! I guess we've got to find a way to stay in the race, though. Fx for you let us know how it goes!


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## Pino6161

Still no sign of AF my breasts are sore, but not near as bad as usual when I'm about to start. My nipples are really sensative though. At night my stomach is still upset, and first thing in the emorning, but I am fine during the day IDK. I took a test this morning, and BFN IDK what to think, I hope starting to get really discouraged. I am 16DPO and have a 33 day cycle.


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## lauren26

I am feeling a bit more up--getting faith again that it will happen sometime. Lol, it's such a rollercoaster!


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## Pino6161

lauren26 said:


> I am feeling a bit more up--getting faith again that it will happen sometime. Lol, it's such a rollercoaster!


I know what you mean, my emotions are different daily, almost hourly. LOL I got a BFN:bfn: this morning, and I was really disappointed. Now, am coming to terms with it, more cause AF still hasn't come :winkwink: but I know that it could just be late.

Our day will come. We just have to late a little whie more than others :wacko:


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## SashimiMimi

lauren26 said:


> I talked to an old friend from school last night. She was the first of my friends to get pregnant. She had been on the pill for about 12 years, and got off, planning to get pregnant a year later--she thought it would take that long for the effects of the pill to wear off. Lo and behold, she conceived within two weeks. She got pregnant again while breastfeeding--I think she hadn't even had more than one full post-partum cycle yet, and last night on the phone she told me that they are trying to 'carefully plan out' when she'll get pregnant next. Ladies, my blood boiled!! I really wanted to be happy for her and her ability to snap her fingers and be pregnant. I felt like it was just so unfair. And somehow I wished she wouldn't tell me about it, though as her friend I obviously want to know what's going on in her life. Needless to say, I got really discouraged. And of COURSE this spurned me to POAS this am, and it was -. I realize I'm 7dpo, but again, I am feeling very pessimistic about this process right now! I've been pretty good about not symptom spotting, and am definitely more relaxed NTNP, but my excitement and high hopes have still factored in, too.
> 
> Eeeee, sorry to be a wet blanket this morning!! I hope everyone's weekend is starting off well.

Lauren, you are not alone in the blood boiling department. I have been an emotional wreck all weekend. Last night we went to a surprise birthday party that started at a restaurant and ended at a club, I was looking forward to dressing up and having a night out on the town. In the afternoon our washing machine flooded the basement (huge mess to clean up!!!) then the subway shut down and we had to take a really packed shuttle bus full of annoying people, so I felt foul by the time we got there. I couldn't eat anything on the menu...just in case, and of course I didn't drink so everyone was whispering to my OH asking if I was pregnant. He told them all we were TTC. Ughhh! I guess that's the assumption if a woman chooses not to drink she MUST be pregnant!! Another couple there was pregnant and the husband couldn't stop talking about how they were expecting. Cue my blood starting to boil.

After dinner we went to some sort of pretentious night club where they make you wait in line for ages even though only about 7 people are inside. Even though i was one of the youngest ones in the group i was the only one who didnt get carded. OH stuck his foot in his mouth and said something about how i look my age. I got defensive and starting insisting that I most certainly do not look 30 and he was kind of like Oooookaaayy if you say so. Blood boil #2!! :) I don't know what was wrong with me but I immediately got really depressed as soon as we got inside. Not because i suddenly felt old, but I just didn't feel like being around aggressive club goers, my heels were killing me. So then I felt like i was fighting back tears and OH got annoyed with me for visibly being miserable and told me I was being obnoxious. Cue the tears.

OH wanted to BD when we got home, which was really late and I was exhausted. I know it's okay to BD during th TWW, but I was too nervous to try. Today I think I've been crying on and off all day for no reason. I just feel completely down I the dumps, I'm exhausted, a little queasy and have a massive headache. Because I take progesterone during the TWW, it can mimic BFP symptoms so I try not to get overly excited that these symptoms might be a good sign. I feel like a complete nut today, but I have to assume when you pump your body full of all these different hormones you are allowed to have one off day.

OH was initially frustrated with all my weeping today but eventually came around and has been pretty supportive. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow, I've kept it pretty together and have remained positive during 8 cycles of natural TTC and 2 cycles of IUI. Sigh!!!!! Thanks for letting me have a huge vent ladies. I needed it and actually feel a little more sane after writing that out.

Lauren it is so frustrating when some people can snap their fingers and get a bfp like your friend. We were talking to a couple yesterday that got engaged recently and they were talking about how they will have kids right after their wedding and they want to move to a neighborhood that would be "good for pushing a stroller around." This couple is in their late 30s and it took everything in me not to tell them that I have been ttc for nearly a year, and that it's not as easy as just deciding you want a baby. I felt like I was about to lose it and start cackling like a maniac!!! In reality I just smiled and nodded and said wow... That's great! Anyway, I know everyone here understands moments of irrational thinking. I guess this past weekend was my free pass for being completely irrational. 

On to week 2 or the TWW. It certainly doesn't get any easier as far as getting hope up and feeling those nerves. Hope everyone else had a better weekend. Xoxoxo


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## Pino6161

SashimiMimi said:


> lauren26 said:
> 
> 
> I talked to an old friend from school last night. She was the first of my friends to get pregnant. She had been on the pill for about 12 years, and got off, planning to get pregnant a year later--she thought it would take that long for the effects of the pill to wear off. Lo and behold, she conceived within two weeks. She got pregnant again while breastfeeding--I think she hadn't even had more than one full post-partum cycle yet, and last night on the phone she told me that they are trying to 'carefully plan out' when she'll get pregnant next. Ladies, my blood boiled!! I really wanted to be happy for her and her ability to snap her fingers and be pregnant. I felt like it was just so unfair. And somehow I wished she wouldn't tell me about it, though as her friend I obviously want to know what's going on in her life. Needless to say, I got really discouraged. And of COURSE this spurned me to POAS this am, and it was -. I realize I'm 7dpo, but again, I am feeling very pessimistic about this process right now! I've been pretty good about not symptom spotting, and am definitely more relaxed NTNP, but my excitement and high hopes have still factored in, too.
> 
> Eeeee, sorry to be a wet blanket this morning!! I hope everyone's weekend is starting off well.
> 
> Lauren, you are not alone in the blood boiling department. I have been an emotional wreck all weekend. Last night we went to a surprise birthday party that started at a restaurant and ended at a club, I was looking forward to dressing up and having a night out on the town. In the afternoon our washing machine flooded the basement (huge mess to clean up!!!) then the subway shut down and we had to take a really packed shuttle bus full of annoying people, so I felt foul by the time we got there. I couldn't eat anything on the menu...just in case, and of course I didn't drink so everyone was whispering to my OH asking if I was pregnant. He told them all we were TTC. Ughhh! I guess that's the assumption if a woman chooses not to drink she MUST be pregnant!! Another couple there was pregnant and the husband couldn't stop talking about how they were expecting. Cue my blood starting to boil.
> 
> After dinner we went to some sort of pretentious night club where they make you wait in line for ages even though only about 7 people are inside. Even though i was one of the youngest ones in the group i was the only one who didnt get carded. OH stuck his foot in his mouth and said something about how i look my age. I got defensive and starting insisting that I most certainly do not look 30 and he was kind of like Oooookaaayy if you say so. Blood boil #2!! :) I don't know what was wrong with me but I immediately got really depressed as soon as we got inside. Not because i suddenly felt old, but I just didn't feel like being around aggressive club goers, my heels were killing me. So then I felt like i was fighting back tears and OH got annoyed with me for visibly being miserable and told me I was being obnoxious. Cue the tears.
> 
> OH wanted to BD when we got home, which was really late and I was exhausted. I know it's okay to BD during th TWW, but I was too nervous to try. Today I think I've been crying on and off all day for no reason. I just feel completely down I the dumps, I'm exhausted, a little queasy and have a massive headache. Because I take progesterone during the TWW, it can mimic BFP symptoms so I try not to get overly excited that these symptoms might be a good sign. I feel like a complete nut today, but I have to assume when you pump your body full of all these different hormones you are allowed to have one off day.
> 
> OH was initially frustrated with all my weeping today but eventually came around and has been pretty supportive. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow, I've kept it pretty together and have remained positive during 8 cycles of natural TTC and 2 cycles of IUI. Sigh!!!!! Thanks for letting me have a huge vent ladies. I needed it and actually feel a little more sane after writing that out.
> 
> Lauren it is so frustrating when some people can snap their fingers and get a bfp like your friend. We were talking to a couple yesterday that got engaged recently and they were talking about how they will have kids right after their wedding and they want to move to a neighborhood that would be "good for pushing a stroller around." This couple is in their late 30s and it took everything in me not to tell them that I have been ttc for nearly a year, and that it's not as easy as just deciding you want a baby. I felt like I was about to lose it and start cackling like a maniac!!! In reality I just smiled and nodded and said wow... That's great! Anyway, I know everyone here understands moments of irrational thinking. I guess this past weekend was my free pass for being completely irrational.
> 
> On to week 2 or the TWW. It certainly doesn't get any easier as far as getting hope up and feeling those nerves. Hope everyone else had a better weekend. XoxoxoClick to expand...





You know there are alot of people that have it very easy. I went to 3 different high schools, so I have my Facebook to keep in touch. Anyways over half of my friends already have kids, some from different dads, many with abortions. It is just very frustrating.

My brother is 2 years younger than me and just got married, he decided to start a family alothough he is not financially stable, and didn't have a job. And what do you know? His wife is pregnant. When he first told me, I was really upset, I know avoid talking to him, just because of the anger I felt.

My sister-in-law, same thing her baby is now a year old.

My husbands cousin is 17 and just had a little boy.

Life is not fair, but you have to take it in stride.


I know what you mean about mood swings. I have had my fair share of them in the last 2 years. You can't really control it, but it's great that your OH is supportive. It is normal for him to have his moments. It's hard for men to understand exactly what we go through physically and mentally.

I hope everything works out


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## SleepyOwl

Pino &#8211; Welcome!! I&#8217;m holding out hope for you despite the BFN. It ain&#8217;t over til the fat lady sings!! 

Lauren &#8211;- Ahh that spotting must be driving you nuts! Is it still happening? It definitely seems like the right timing for IB so fingers crossed for that. Hopefully it stops and AF doesn&#8217;t show for ohhh about 9 months &#9786; On the pregnant friend note, I can totally relate. My friend told me at the wedding this weekend she was pregnant and they had only tried for 2 months. Totally peed on an OPK after that convo, LOL! Very easy to be discouraged, but our time has to be soon &#8211; I&#8217;m really trying to stay positive for all of us!!!

Haribo &#8211; It is discouraging when we feel like we do everything right and AF shows. I hope you&#8217;re feeling better today now about everything and have a renewed enthusiasm about BD&#8217;ing your next two weeks away in hopes of catching that egg! It&#8217;s hard because you&#8217;re right &#8211; there&#8217;s really nothing more you can do but just hope, pray, BD and wait. Good luck this cycle!

Treasured &#8211; Excited for you to test! My sister said when she got her BFP she had all her normal AF symptoms and no unusual or different symptoms. She was shocked when the fertility clinic came back with a BFP. So don&#8217;t count yourself out yet &#8211; it&#8217;s still totally possible. 

Sashimi &#8211; Sounds like a difficult and emotionally draining weekend you had &#9785; I hope you&#8217;re feeling better today about everything! You&#8217;re absolutely right &#8211; you get a pass for being emotional and kooky. The whole process is draining in and of itself; then add in the progesterone and wacky hormones and it can be a recipe for disaster. Glad OH has come around and is being more supportive. Sometimes they just don&#8217;t realize. 

Lxb &#8211; Thanks for warding the witch off. What a good buddy we have in you!!

Country &#8211; How are you doing with SMEP?! Are you in the TWW yet? 

I&#8217;m back from a long wedding weekend. We had a wonderful time but am just generally exhausted from it. My friend finally told me she was expecting &#8211; SO obvious as she&#8217;s got a total baby bump. So happy for her, but definitely felt a pang of jealousy every time I saw a pregnant woman at the wedding. I think OH was really feeling the pressure of TTC and how difficult the process is. He has brought it up here and there just out of nowhere saying, &#8220;I just never knew it would be difficult.&#8221; I&#8217;ve been having AF like cramps on and off since Friday night (so about 5DPO) but that&#8217;s not really unusual for me. Sometimes I get a few days of AF cramps about a week before along with sore boobs. Cue the sore boobs today. Feel like AF is definitely going to show, but I&#8217;m determined to remain positive. It has got to happen at some point!!


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## SashimiMimi

Pino, I totally forgot to say welcome to the thread during my majorly long rant. So welcome and you will definitely find some great ttc buddies here!!

Sleepy glad you had fun at the wedding. Those jealousy pangs are normal and I feel them the most during the TWW for some reason. You're right about OH's not always getting it. I don't think mine realized it would be such a struggle either. We ordered Thai food tonight and the pad thai made me want to gag for some reason. I feel mentally better but physically off. OH said it must be because the IUI worked and I immediately asked if he would be upset if it didn't because I don't know if it's the progesterone or what. He said of course not and we can't put that much pressure on ourselves.

Speaking of progesterone, Lauren I forgot to say that it can help with the spotting. I would always spot about 4 days before my AF and the progesterone thickens the lining and kind of keeps everything in place. It's a pain to insert them vaginally and they leak a little bit, but I had no spotting when I took them last cycle. Have you spoken to your doctor about your spotting concerns?


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## Pino6161

Thank you guys for the welcome. I hope that talking things out will help my moodiness, and in a way lonliness. No one really understands how it feels to see so many BFN. Then again, no one really knows I am TTC either, and that makes it a bit harder.


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## SashimiMimi

Pino, this board has really helped me not feel so isolated and alone with TTC. I always thought it would happen right away so I told lots of people, and now they always ask if we've had any success. Then if I get into the fact that we are seeing a fertility doctor they look confused, then worried and say But you'll end up like Octomom and end up with too many kids if you take fertility drugs!!!! Sigh... Some people just don't do their research!!!

And we all know what its like to see so a lot of bfns, so you won't feel alone here. Good luck!!!


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## Pino6161

Thanks. I know for a fact many do not understand. It's hard to wrap my head around, but we were told the next step would be implantation, and in all reality, insurance doesn't cover it and we can't afford it. So all I can do is hope that the natural way will come around sooner or later (hopefully sooner rather than later)


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## countrygirl86

Welcome pino! Sounds like a lot of you are in the 2ww! I wonder what about that time seems to make the jealousy pangs worse? At least that's how it is for me. I also love grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup! These ladies are a great support system :) You aren't out till AF shows but I know it's easier to expect her and maybe sometime be surprised with that BFP...

lauren, the roller coaster sucks! I find it definitely worse in the 2ww. Especially right before AF (probably the same before BFP but I wouldn't know, yet!). 

Sashimi, sorry you had such a sucky weekend :flower: Sounds like you are having a terrible time with emotions. Let's hope it is because your BFP is on the way and this is a signal of what's to come. Do you mind people knowing you are TTC? You are definitely allowed to have more than just one 'off' day! When do you go in for the test?

Sleepy! My SMEP partner! lol no still waiting to O! It's ok with me though, we are sticking to the plan and it's going well. How are you doing in the 2ww? Glad you had a good time at the wedding! It will happen at some point and we are all here to keep each other company until it does (and hopefully after too)!

We had our camping trip this weekend so I fell off the charting wagon a little lol no opks, temping or checking cm but I think O is coming soon. I think I'm the only one on this side of the 2ww right now? Quick question: of the ladies who use OPKs, do you use the pee on type or the dip in type? I got the dip in type but today I feel like O is really close and am wishing I'd got the pee on kind so I could test at work!


----------



## lauren26

Sashimi - That evening sounds AWFUL! I feel like the TWW is enough already, without having to deal with broken-down subways, speculating friends, cheesy clubs, and arguments with OH. I feel scared to BD during TWW, too, this month. And to do anything strenuous, really. I know you said last month that the progesterone was giving you pg symptoms--the symptoms this month sound a little different. Super Fx that they are a good sign! I'm not exactly glad that a lot of us had a rough weekend, but it does make me feel a little bit better, having really spiraled into negativity and gotten extremely jealous. I, too, wanted to yell at my friend when she was talking about planning the next pregnancy. She's the one friend I had who had been pushing and pushing for us to have a kid and now that we're trying she never, ever asks about it or mentions it. I almost wish that my friends would ask about it a little bit more--or at least express interest. At the same time, the people around me who DO ask are the ones who sneezed and got pregnant, so I guess in the end I'd rather not be on the receiving end of their 'encouragement' (sorry--a little bitter I guess! lol). Anyway, I do appreciate that you can relate. I feel like such a rotten person sometimes with the insane jealousy and bitterness than can bubble up. At least I have therapy! Lol. 

Your OH sounds really sweet and supportive, Sashimi. He seems very encouraging. And I usually have a whole week of being off at the end of my cycle! You are completely allowed to have emotions and have a difficult time. This process is rough. I have considered progesterone--the reason I started seeing an OB was because I was spotting so much before AF. At Christmas I had something like 10 days of spotting and then a 7 day AF. Awful. I had met with a GP to talk about pre-conceiving stuff, and she referred me to an OB because of the spotting. If I start up again this month before AF I will insist that my levels be checked. I know people that use the progesterone cream that you can buy at Whole Foods, but I'm scared to use it without the consent of my doc. I do think the acupuncture and vitamins are helping with spotting, but I would love a cycle where I don't spot AT ALL before AF (or before pg). 

Sleepy - No, knock on wood, the spotting stopped for a day. Really on 5 and 6 dpo it was pinkish CM. Then 7dpo I had the red/brown just once when I checked my cervix. Yesterday really nothing. Today, though, I am starting to get creamy CM so my hopes are slowly dropping. Plus, I have absolutely no will power with POAS and got a bfn this morning. I realize it's still a little early, but I feel like so many people get a faint something/glimmer of hope at 9dpo. Anyway! I'm glad your wedding was fun, and the jealously is sooooo normal. I feel like we ALL had it this weekend!

I have to run for now so I can't respond to everyone else right now but I'm reading everything and keeping Fx for all of us! I'm sooooo grateful for this board. Thank you, ladies, for being so supportive! More later <3


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren thank you so much for your long reply to my ridiculous weekend!! Another stupid thing that happened is I forgot to put on deodorant, so I left the early stages of the dinner and started running up and down the street in heels looking for anything that was open that sold deodarent. I found a convenience store that did and I found the stick I bought in my coat pocket this morning during my commute , completely forgetting that I had left it there. It only made me remember all the little stupid things that added up that made me a complete sour grape! I still feel like I have a bit of a storm cloud over my head!

You're right that the progesterone symptoms are a bit different this time around. Last time I bled every day on it because it can irritate your cervix. This time I had a spot of brown blood on Thursday and one spot of red blood yesterday. Don't know if I should be excited or assume its irritation. 

Back to work for me! More later !


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## meyko

Can someone please take the time to give me some advice or help?? im going crazy!!!

I am 13 days late, my period was suppose to start April 17, my last period was march 20 and i always start two weeks after i ovulate. I should have ovulated on April 3 and had sex two days before, day of, and day after... we are TTC!!! i took a pregnancy test april 14 before i was suppose to start my period and got a faint positive so faint i think i was the onloy one who could see it, whishful thinking i was gueesing, i then took another one on April 16 the day before my missed period and it was a faint line, the line was faint but def was there... husband said to take a test in a week and then see if it got darker, i couldnt wait a week and i took on the 19th two days after my missed period and it said negative, about day 4 after missed period April 21 started spotting/dishagre light brown, not even enough for a panty liner, only when i wipe so i took a digital test it said not pregnant... whats going on am i pregnant??? i still have not started my period, i am 13 days late and have no symptoms of starting my period. I am 21 years old btw and i was pregnant when i was 18 but didnt find out i was pregnant until i was three months along, i had missed my period then but it was summer and didnt realize it until it hit 3 months i then had every symptom in the book of pregnancy.. i called my doctor and i have a blood test tday after work so hoping tat gives me apositive but she said ill have to wait 3 days for my results, is it maybe i dont have high enough level of hcg to show up on a home test?? do u think im pregnant???


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## preg_pilot

meyko said:


> Can someone please take the time to give me some advice or help?? im going crazy!!!
> 
> I am 13 days late, my period was suppose to start April 17, my last period was march 20 and i always start two weeks after i ovulate. I should have ovulated on April 3 and had sex two days before, day of, and day after... we are TTC!!! i took a pregnancy test april 14 before i was suppose to start my period and got a faint positive so faint i think i was the onloy one who could see it, whishful thinking i was gueesing, i then took another one on April 16 the day before my missed period and it was a faint line, the line was faint but def was there... husband said to take a test in a week and then see if it got darker, i couldnt wait a week and i took on the 19th two days after my missed period and it said negative, about day 4 after missed period April 21 started spotting/dishagre light brown, not even enough for a panty liner, only when i wipe so i took a digital test it said not pregnant... whats going on am i pregnant??? i still have not started my period, i am 13 days late and have no symptoms of starting my period. I am 21 years old btw and i was pregnant when i was 18 but didnt find out i was pregnant until i was three months along, i had missed my period then but it was summer and didnt realize it until it hit 3 months i then had every symptom in the book of pregnancy.. i called my doctor and i have a blood test tday after work so hoping tat gives me apositive but she said ill have to wait 3 days for my results, is it maybe i dont have high enough level of hcg to show up on a home test?? do u think im pregnant???

Sounds like you´re pregnant, keep us posted :)


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## Pino6161

Meyko.....

It sounds promising, and your problem may be that you used a digital test. They are not as accurate, because they have trouble catching the hormones. Got to a Dr. and find out for sure. My fingers are crossed for you. Good Luck

Let us know what happens


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## Pino6161

I'm really testy and moody today. The little things bother me. I am snappy for no reason. My OH is getting upset because I am snappy. Then I get more snappy cause he is upset.

AF is a day late, but I decided to wait a week. If it comes it comes. If it doesn't I'll test.

I just feel angry, for no reason.

I feel like nothing is going right. What is wrong with me?


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## treasured

Pino I'm feeling your pain! I also know what its like not having anyone to talk to about it, none of my friends/ family know were TTC, we wanted to keep it to ourselves until it happened. Id even planed how I was going to tell all of them! Didnt think Id still be waiting to tell them this long.... Took a test this morning and it was BFN :( to be fair I am only 9dpo but today I was having major AF symptoms like sore boobs and dull cramps, exactly like what I get before shes due. This worries me because last months cycle was 28 days which was good, but if I start AF tomorow that will only be 25... and leaving my LP at 10 :( thought I had escaped that by using b6! 

Does anyone know if implantation cramps are the same as AF cramps? ive not had any bleeding execpt i did notice a tinnyy amount of light brown discharge in the toilet once today.... i HATE that the symptoms are so similar! :/ 
also is it common to get a BFN at 9dpo and still get a positive later on ? 

Thanks girls :) Hope everyone is feeling ok! whos testing next? we NEEED to see another BFP soon! 

xxxx :dust:


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## Pino6161

treasured said:


> Pino I'm feeling your pain! I also know what its like not having anyone to talk to about it, none of my friends/ family know were TTC, we wanted to keep it to ourselves until it happened. Id even planed how I was going to tell all of them! Didnt think Id still be waiting to tell them this long.... Took a test this morning and it was BFN :( to be fair I am only 9dpo but today I was having major AF symptoms like sore boobs and dull cramps, exactly like what I get before shes due. This worries me because last months cycle was 28 days which was good, but if I start AF tomorow that will only be 25... and leaving my LP at 10 :( thought I had escaped that by using b6!
> 
> Does anyone know if implantation cramps are the same as AF cramps? ive not had any bleeding execpt i did notice a tinnyy amount of light brown discharge in the toilet once today.... i HATE that the symptoms are so similar! :/
> also is it common to get a BFN at 9dpo and still get a positive later on ?
> 
> Thanks girls :) Hope everyone is feeling ok! whos testing next? we NEEED to see another BFP soon!
> 
> xxxx :dust:

I heard that implantation cramps are very similar to the oint you can't tell the difference, and if you are just barely spotting, it could be implantation. It's hard to tell because as you know everything is so similar to AF. Since you are 9DPO it's around the time of implantation. All you can really do is play the waiting game.

I have my fingers crossed for you


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## Pino6161

Still no AF and I'm a day late, but I am starting to get dull pain on my left lower back. The :witch: may be on the way, I guess I will just have to wait it out.


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## haribo813

I am also cranky! What a weekend girls! Sashimi you get the prize for the worst, you poor thing. I spent Sunday on my own in the end (couldn't even face seeing family and OH away) mostly sobbing, doing boring domestic stuff around the house and putting together a very late wedding album for my parents which only made me think how naive I was on my wedding day that we'd have a kid sooner rather than later. I was so mad at everyone pregnant/with a child after AF came yesterday, especially as pics of 2 new babies born on Sat were everywhere, aaagh! I made myself miserable reading all the different fertility problems it could be from that Toni Weschler fertility book. But...even a day on I feel a bit better. Went for a run, cooked a new dish, resolving to eat healthier this cycle and carry on without the caffeine. Am also summoning strength to see a pg friend on Wed who i love but resent because she got pg in her 1st month...

At least most of you are in the 2ww! That's exciting, you're all in with a chance! Trying to work out what tack to take this cycle-maybe try reflexology? Anyone got any experience of it? Acupuncture has been ok but i don't love it or find it amazingly relaxing so given it's pricey, thinking of ditching it. Lxb and Jaynie-you definitely both got AFs? You've gone quiet the last few days?! Am hopeful!

Chin up everyone, we will be rewarded for our patience and perseverance and our babies will be treasured, that's for sure!


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## treasured

Exactly! The wait continues.... it's honestly the worst thing ever. I just keep thinking back to school days when the teachers would drill into your head that if you didnt use protection youd get pregnant... makes me think I should have started TTC when I was 16 and then maybe it would have worked by now! haha! but obviously I wouldnt have had my amazing OH to do it with. Which reminds me, he is going to the doctors tomorrow to see about a sperm count test to make sure he is all good! So hopefully that will be a load of our backs and it will come back high :) He had testicular torsion a few years back which was solved with an opertation and we were told it wouldnt cause any infertility problems, but we want to just make sure! 

Ladies (question time!) , how is your OH with supporting you throughout the TWW? I guess i'd kinda like mine to realise a bit more what I'm going through everyday hoping and waiting for a bfp! I mean hes lovelly and tells me it will happen for us one day and all that , but I just wish he would get upset once in a while too that its not happening now instead of just sayig it will eventually! 

Xxx :dust:


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## preg_pilot

I used to be a little irritated at my OH sometimes...
then I saw these on youtube. 
they explain what he´s thinking pretty well, and this is hilarious to watch :)
They´re quite long, but they´ve definitely improved our relationship.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhB0IM0P3GI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHROkz6XadE


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## Pino6161

treasured said:


> Exactly! The wait continues.... it's honestly the worst thing ever. I just keep thinking back to school days when the teachers would drill into your head that if you didnt use protection youd get pregnant... makes me think I should have started TTC when I was 16 and then maybe it would have worked by now! haha! but obviously I wouldnt have had my amazing OH to do it with. Which reminds me, he is going to the doctors tomorrow to see about a sperm count test to make sure he is all good! So hopefully that will be a load of our backs and it will come back high :) He had testicular torsion a few years back which was solved with an opertation and we were told it wouldnt cause any infertility problems, but we want to just make sure!
> 
> Ladies (question time!) , how is your OH with supporting you throughout the TWW? I guess i'd kinda like mine to realise a bit more what I'm going through everyday hoping and waiting for a bfp! I mean hes lovelly and tells me it will happen for us one day and all that , but I just wish he would get upset once in a while too that its not happening now instead of just sayig it will eventually!
> 
> Xxx :dust:



My OH says the same thing!! It drives me nuts.He just assumes that one of these days could our day. In reality who knows how long we will have to wait. IDK. He doesn't get upset like I do. He says don't force it and it will happen. In reality we tried to just "let it happen" that didn't work. It does not help that I am not a patient person. When I want something I want it in a timeable fashion. I mean a couple months I could wait, but now 2 years??? My OH is very supprtive and he has a great shoulder to cry on, but he doesn't quite understand that for me it's like 2 years of nightmares, and I just want a relief.


Sorry I didn't mean to vent......


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## haribo813

I know what you both mean. But boys think differently. I also think they try to be rocks to ground us when we're going crazy and I guess apart from the sense you're going through it together what good can come out of 2 despairing people rather than 1? I'm not sure i'd ever shake my bad mood if OH was in one too.

I still think he doesn't totally get it, how crushing the disappointment every month is, the sense of utter inadequacy, how awful it is for your body to betray you, the sneaking fears that there's something really wrong with you, how it feels like someone is kidding you by giving you horrendous totally unwanted AF pains and by testing your patience with new pregnant people everywhere but at least being on here really helps me deal with it. Each month you reach the depths of despair and somehow muster a little hope to try for another month. And as we don't know how long it's going to take to get our BFP, i know i can't sustain that level of emotional sadness for too long so have no choice but to be vaguely normal again and i'm sure we're all kind of the same.

I say all this while still feeling bitter and twisted. But 1 of the things that has come out of this process for me is a sense of feeling closer to my OH and loving him more than ever for his support. Because we shouldn't forget what a test TTC is of a relationship so we are all doing really well to still be getting on so well with our OHs.

I have a change of subject question: i am starting to use a clearblue OPK tomorrow and want to know, is it the best time to test 1st thing in the morning? I need to set my testing window and have heard conflicting advice on what time the 6 hour window should be. Can anyone help?

Thanks girls and hope we all have better weeks, and hopefully some lovely BFPs!! xxxx


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## lxb

Pino6161 said:


> treasured said:
> 
> 
> Exactly! The wait continues.... it's honestly the worst thing ever. I just keep thinking back to school days when the teachers would drill into your head that if you didnt use protection youd get pregnant... makes me think I should have started TTC when I was 16 and then maybe it would have worked by now! haha! but obviously I wouldnt have had my amazing OH to do it with. Which reminds me, he is going to the doctors tomorrow to see about a sperm count test to make sure he is all good! So hopefully that will be a load of our backs and it will come back high :) He had testicular torsion a few years back which was solved with an opertation and we were told it wouldnt cause any infertility problems, but we want to just make sure!
> 
> Ladies (question time!) , how is your OH with supporting you throughout the TWW? I guess i'd kinda like mine to realise a bit more what I'm going through everyday hoping and waiting for a bfp! I mean hes lovelly and tells me it will happen for us one day and all that , but I just wish he would get upset once in a while too that its not happening now instead of just sayig it will eventually!
> 
> Xxx :dust:
> 
> 
> 
> My OH says the same thing!! It drives me nuts.He just assumes that one of these days could our day. In reality who knows how long we will have to wait. IDK. He doesn't get upset like I do. He says don't force it and it will happen. In reality we tried to just "let it happen" that didn't work. It does not help that I am not a patient person. When I want something I want it in a timeable fashion. I mean a couple months I could wait, but now 2 years??? My OH is very supprtive and he has a great shoulder to cry on, but he doesn't quite understand that for me it's like 2 years of nightmares, and I just want a relief.
> 
> 
> Sorry I didn't mean to vent......Click to expand...

:hugs:

Ah, they won't really know how we feel physically/mentally. It's definitely important for one person out of the two to stay positive. That's being supportive, be strong for the other when the other is feeling vulnerable. 

All the boys know is that it's time to BD and/or AF shows/no show. We all tend to look into everything and analyze what we're feeling and the 'symptoms'. It can definitely drain our energy. That's y I love this forum, where you can find ladies that truly understand what you're feeling and what you're going through. 

It will happen eventually :) we just need to be patient. it will only make us appreciate our children even more! :thumbup: Don't forget to enjoy what you have right now where you can pick up and go whenever/wherever. 

Anyways, I'm on CD3 (Yep, AF showed on Saturday, right on schedule). Been feeling nausea/bloated/exhausted (Never really felt this way during AF's visit)! I would think I was preggo if I was in tww. Ahh, learning something new about my body each cycle.

I'll keep :witch: busy for the next few days and hopefully she'll forget about you ladies waiting to test! :hugs:


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## lauren26

haribo - I have soo freaked myself out with that book!! The one complaint I have about it are the 'problems' she talks about. I'm sure that the info totally applies in some cases, but I also think that she presents a very strict model for what is normal. That said, I have feared LPD for myself based on what she says in the book. I'm sorry that witch rained on your parade!! Laaaaaame. I usually feel better after the first day, too. Optimistic again. Sounds like you're making the best of it and keeping yourself active, which is awesome. Man, we've all been in the cranky boat this weekend!! At least we're in it together, lol!

treasured - It seems crazy that your LP would shorten by that much. I assumed that if you have an LPD that your luteal phase is around the same length every month but just shorter than average. I also have seen many pregnancy charts on FF of women with short luteal phases. I have heard that implantation can feel like AF cramps, can feel like pinching, or can go unnoticed. I think a lot of women get AF type cramps and expect to be out only to discover later that it was implantation. Also, we're the same dpo and I also got a BFN this morning. I do think that it's early. I mean, technically you're not 'supposed' to get a + until the day you miss your period, but honestly who can wait that long?? Anyway, we're not out! Also, the month I had a chemical I had crazy sore boobs and some cramping, as well. I know that doesn't sound promising because it ended in a chemical, but they were AF symptoms that seemed amplified and early. Fx for you. 

My OH seemed pretty disinterested until we had a talk about TTC last month, where I admitted that I was really struggling, felt like he didn't care whether we get pg or not, and that I needed to be able to share my feelings with him without it being a burden. He surprised me by telling me how excited he'll be when we finally get that + test. He completely takes on the attitude of 'It will happen when it happens; It's all divine timing', but I know he wants it, too. After our talk he proposed the 11:00 talk every day, where we discuss TTC and what kind of parents we would like to be for an hour or less. It's made a HUGE difference for me this month. I feel like we're on the same page now. I think that OHs don't always know what to do, and in an effort to be strong and comfort they say, 'It'll happen!'


----------



## lxb

haribo813 said:


> I have a change of subject question: i am starting to use a clearblue OPK tomorrow and want to know, is it the best time to test 1st thing in the morning? I need to set my testing window and have heard conflicting advice on what time the 6 hour window should be. Can anyone help?
> 
> Thanks girls and hope we all have better weeks, and hopefully some lovely BFPs!! xxxx

I have clearblue opk as well. I think it's recommended that we don't test with FMU. It's recommended to test twice per day (once in the morning time ~10am, and once in the evening time ~7pm). I usually test once a day (~10am) and stop testing after I got my +opk. For the past 3 cycles I Oed 2-4 days after +opk :thumbup:

**edited**
Agree with lauren & haribo. This ttc process definitely makes me feel much closer to my DH. It's important that both people are on the same page and communicate.


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## lauren26

haribo - You SAID it! You described this process perfectly. I appreciate that articulation!


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## treasured

pregpilot- I am deffinately going to watch those videos tomorrow when I get up, dont think my sleepy 1am brain can handle it just now hehe but thank you for sharing them! :) 

Pino- i know just what you mean about a managable timeframe! but major love for you as youve been holding out a lot longer than me :) I mean I wouldnt even mind waiting a few months more if I KNEW everything was fine and that it would deffinately happen! I guess we just need to accept that our OH's love us and its just their way of helping us through.... :)

haribo- i almost broke down into tears reading your post, it was so heartbreakingly true, but lovely at the same time. I guess in perspective of our lives, when we get our BFPS and are blessed with our babies they are going to be with us for ever and become our whole lives, so I guess to wait for them is only natural and allows us to cherish the thought for longer until it becomes a reality :). I have also heard not to test with FMU as there can be small traces of LH in your urine sometimes even when your not O'ing, so aparenly mid day is a good time to test, just so that it is deffinatly O and not just accidental LH!

lxb- I agree that it is needed for there to be one strong person, and I know if I ever want to have a cry or a moan OH is there for me :) but when I need all the nitty gritty and indepth support you guys are amazing! so glad I joined this thread I'm already forgetting some of my paranoia about not being abe to conceive! I seem to get new symptoms with AF every month! im thinking of keeping an AF diary this month, with symptoms and stuff just for the days while shes here, so that next month I can maybe tell whether its her or pregs? UNLESS i get my BFP that is.... hmmm. :dust: for you this cycle!

lauren- the last 3 months before this one my LP was around 10 or 11, then I took b6 last month and my cycle lenghtened by 2 days! now its either implantation/random cramps/early AF :( hmm I guess I'll see if shes here tomorow and if not I might test again... cant resist hehe! I was having strange like twinging pains last night while in bed and was saying to OH it felt like a litle bug was inside me pulling at my insides haha.... weird! I hate getting symptoms sometimes though cause then if AF comes it makes it all the worse!! Sucks that you got a BFN too :( but like you say we are testing early so we're not out the game quite yet! you gonna test again soon? FX for you ! xx

WOW, long post! and now its bedtime for me girls!! Hope everyone feels good/better and lets keep our chins up together :) xxxxx


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## Pino6161

I would just like to say that I really am glad I found this site.:thumbup: Every month for the past 2 years has been like slow torture LOL. I say it that way just because month after month you get some of the same symptoms, plus some new ones. Then the next month they seem different... It's a pain...:shrug:

But something my OH said to me a couple months ago about my symptoms stuck in my head. By breasts were sore, and I was sitting with him on the couch, and I tell him that they seem more sore than usual. He looks at me and says "It's because you keep poking/rubbing them to see if they are still sore. If you kept poking mine, they would be sore too"

All in all OH kinda taught me to take in in stride try to watch my symptoms so I know my body well, but try not to dissect them. I still am trying to grasp that consept:winkwink:

I know, it's harder said than done, but in the end I can say one thing that women that have children easily can't. I know the inside and out of my body. I can tell when I'm ovulating, when I'm late etc..... One of my friends on facebook was telling everyone about how she was 4 months pregnant, and how she didn't even notice she wasn't having periods etc. I just have more appreciation of my body now then I ever did.:laugh2:

Anyways, I didn't mean to rant and change the subject, but I was writing what was on my mind......

Thanks to everyone for listening :hug:


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## SleepyOwl

haribo813 said:


> I know what you both mean. But boys think differently. I also think they try to be rocks to ground us when we're going crazy and I guess apart from the sense you're going through it together what good can come out of 2 despairing people rather than 1? I'm not sure i'd ever shake my bad mood if OH was in one too.
> 
> I still think he doesn't totally get it, how crushing the disappointment every month is, the sense of utter inadequacy, how awful it is for your body to betray you, the sneaking fears that there's something really wrong with you, how it feels like someone is kidding you by giving you horrendous totally unwanted AF pains and by testing your patience with new pregnant people everywhere but at least being on here really helps me deal with it. Each month you reach the depths of despair and somehow muster a little hope to try for another month. And as we don't know how long it's going to take to get our BFP, i know i can't sustain that level of emotional sadness for too long so have no choice but to be vaguely normal again and i'm sure we're all kind of the same.
> 
> I say all this while still feeling bitter and twisted. But 1 of the things that has come out of this process for me is a sense of feeling closer to my OH and loving him more than ever for his support. Because we shouldn't forget what a test TTC is of a relationship so we are all doing really well to still be getting on so well with our OHs.
> 
> I have a change of subject question: i am starting to use a clearblue OPK tomorrow and want to know, is it the best time to test 1st thing in the morning? I need to set my testing window and have heard conflicting advice on what time the 6 hour window should be. Can anyone help?
> 
> Thanks girls and hope we all have better weeks, and hopefully some lovely BFPs!! xxxx

Amen sister!! I definitely feel much closer to OH, especially the last couple cycles. Although he still says the typical OH things like "it'll happen", "don't stress", "it's alright", I know deep down he is being the strong and positive one and telling me what I need to hear because honestly, if we were both heartbroken and vocalized it, I don't think I would be able to pick myself up every time AF showed.


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## Pino6161

I broke down and cried today for no apparent reason.:cry: I just feel like things have been out of control lately. I got really angree at my husband today. I was talking on the phone with my little sister, and he tried calling me. For some reason I got really upset. I don't know how to explain it. I have been off all day. We talked tonight and he was really understanding and supportive and he held me while I cried. But in reality, I don't know why I was crying.:shrug: I usually get moody during PMS,but not this bad IDK.

I have had slight cramping today so I expect the :witch: tomorrow. I still have a little hope, but not much. After 2 :bfn: I am a little down in the dumps.

I'm not sure what to think.


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## lxb

Pino6161 said:


> By breasts were sore, and I was sitting with him on the couch, and I tell him that they seem more sore than usual. He looks at me and says "It's because you keep poking/rubbing them to see if they are still sore. If you kept poking mine, they would be sore too"

Ahh... I do that too! :haha:

It's okay to be moody... I found myself feeling emotional/annoyed/impatient for no good reason. I think it's because of the emotional roller coaster.

:hugs:


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## treasured

Another BFN for me today :( 10dpo so thought there would have been somthing there by now if id implanted surely? still getting the occasional cramping but no sign of AF down below.... should be due around tomorrow so we shall see!

Also just found out that a girl that OH knows has just found out shes 12 weeks pregnant, has no partner or anything and is 17. WHY do these people get OUR dreams? Its so unfair I actualy screamed when he told me! Grrrrrr.

Got a report to do tonight so I guess that will take my mind of things till I get home.. 
Losing my hope a it for this month :( 

:dust: to all xxx


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## lxb

it's heart wrenching sometimes when we hear those type of news. :(

Hope AF is a no show for you. FX Treasured~ :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Is it a full moon or something? Sounds like a lot of us are on a downhill emotional slope! Well when you hit a low the only way to go is up. I'm feeling back to normal today and my head feels screwed on straight. 

For the past few days, I had felt this pressure or tightness in my lower abdomen. Kind of like cramps without the pain. I felt like maybe that was a good sign, but this morning I woke up an felt nothing. I feel absolutely nothing, not even sore boobs which I felt big time last month. And always get that toward the end of my cycle. I usually feel nothing every month and it always turns out to be a BFFN... So I admit I'm losing hope. I know if this second IUI turns out to be a fail I'll be completely devestated. Sigh...but it's out of my control.

On the topic of OHs, mine never gets upset about the bfns month after month. At least visibly. He says it will happen and the infamous line: relax and have fun!!! But honestly, if he reacted like I did which is usually diving into bed and throwing a blanket over my head while bursting into tears, I'd lose it. It's hard enough to disappoint myself. I wouldn't be able to handle it if I knew I was disappointing my OH, or my mom, etc. I really think our OHs put on the brave face to benefit us. Not because they don't care. 

I've said this before, but it looks like its being said again in other posts: the not knowing is killer!!! Also, someone brought up reflexology. I knew someone that did this and I went for a few sessions. It helped with some sleeping issues I was having, so I recommend it. Just make sure you find a good practitioner. My poor SIL went to a Kook of a naturopath last week who chanted and started doing voodoo. I was like, no thats not supposed to happen and sent her to mine who I think is amazing!!!


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## meyko

So just to keep everyone updated, i went to my doctor yesterday for a blood test and she said i should get a phone call by tomorrow or they will send a card out in the mail saying pregnant or not pregnant, i asked for the phone call i hate waiting!!! as i have read from everyone else i believe no one likes the waiting game! lol So today i am offically two weeks late for my period and im scared to take any more hpt for a fear of them coming back negative. Also i stopped by birth control in Feb didnt take any at all in march last period was march 20th but i had read alot of times a missed period is caused by stopping the pill, but then i should have missed my period in march not april.. maybe im over thinking it.. but what else can i do other than wait!! lol Good luck to you ladies!!!


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## Pino6161

Well I the witch was supposed to come Sunday. It is now Tuesday, and nothing. I don't want to POAS yet. Hopefullt, it is all of our month!!! I'm starting to get cautiously optomistic, but we will see.

I am feeling so much better today, although I didn't sleep very well.

I am praying that the witch leaves us all alone!!!

Treasured: I know how you are feeling, I have seen so much of it!! It's not fair! Myhusbands cousin is the same age and just had a precious baby boy. My brother is about to have a girl, and he is 18yo. 

I have to believe that the Lord is making us wait for the perfect angel for us.


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## lauren26

Sashimi - Not only is May 5 a full moon, it's apparently a 'supermoon', lol. I am not totally sure what that means. I'm feeling better today, too!! I haven't had the same symptoms as I usually have pre-AF, but I feel like they're close enough. Usually my breasts are super tender for at least a week, and this time around they are much less so, though they are large and in charge, lol! Still, this is typical for me. I'm really not getting anything, so like you I'm feeling kind of out. I hope this is our month, though! I agree with the OH reaction. If my OH felt like I did every month I doubt we'd still be TTC!

treasured - I had a confusing FRER this am--going to call it a wash! Upon telling my OH he asked me to make a rule that I wouldn't test before AF is late. I said I would sincerely try, but that it's TOUGH! Still, his point was that it's really supposed to be too early unless it's the day of AF and she's not showing, and that it would be more cost effective not to buy a million tests. I guess he has a point! I will say, too, that the first month I temped I didn't test at all--not even once--and just watched my temps. It was definitely easier to swallow when AF came. 

meyko - GL!! I hope this is your month.

Pino - I am so excited for you to test, though I understand being scared to! Let us know :) Fx.


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## haribo813

So hard not to read into symptoms but truth is, some people get them, some like my sister get nada indication in advance so let's all keep the positive vibes going for you girls that have AF due soon and the rest of us with her will continue to distract the witch...!

Thanks for reflexology comments Sashimi, will give it a go. (Although TTC is bankrupting me! You're right about temping being cheaper and less disappointing than tests Lauren! I do dislike the Clearblue test one which actually says in big letters NOT PREGNANT, although can't decide if that's worse than the lack of line?!) I read an article last week about people keeping strange things from pregnancy including BFP tests-I am totally keeping mine when I get it!

Good luck to everyone over the next couple of days and thanks for your help with the Clearblue OPK-it is set and ready to go although I'll need a few days before will be in BD'ing zone.
xxx


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## lxb

Yep... I still have that :witch: with me... :)

Agree with the clearblue test (although I have not tested with it), I can imagine being so bumped out much more when I see "NOT PREGNANT" than a lack of line. Although they meant the same thing "too early to test" or "not pregnant". I would rather not seeing additional line and maybe imagine I'm seeing a line than to see those two cruel words! 

Update from me, CD4 is pretty light/spotting. SMEP ... here I come~ :happydance:


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## lauren26

haribo - Lol, The NOT PREGNANT is horrrrrrible! I feel like I'm going to FRAME my bfp when I finally get it!


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## SashimiMimi

Haribo that CB NOT PREGNANT would be like a punch in the stomach! Remind me not to buy that brand. I meant to chime in on the OPK, for ages I would never get that damn happy face when I tested in the morning. The instructions tell you to test first thing. Then my acupuncturist gave me those early pregnancy cheap strips and told me to test between 10 am and 8 pm because LH takes time to build during the day. I finally got the CB happy face when testing around 2 pm one of my cycles.

Lauren, okay a super moon totally explains it LOL!! I guess I should send an apology note to everyone from the party on Saturday and blame it on the moon. I guess I shouldn't read too much into my lack of sore boobs because technically I had a manufactured O this cycle what with the femara and trigger shot. But waking up with that completely empty feeling in my abomen gives me a rather hopeless feeling. I just don't know what more I can do to make this work!! Its going to be a long wait until Saturday!


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## lauren26

Sashimi - I am really feeling you!! I told OH today that I've done everything I can, and that it really wouldn't hurt to just run tests, even though my OB put me back at month 1 since I had a chemical (making this month 2--boo to that!!). I think he finally got it. That it would just give me more information. He said, 'You're just so EAGER--testing before your period, wanting the OB to do an ultrasound etc etc'. He didn't get it. I was like, of course I am! I want a baby! Lol. Anyway, I know what you mean about the empty feeling down yonder. I have decided to wait until Thursday or Friday to test again, and even the 1-2 day gap will be hard for me. I am going to read into this supermoon stuff! Saturday is supermoon day--I hope it's good to you on your test date :) Is that the day you get bloods done at the clinic, or the day you POAS?


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## SleepyOwl

Sounds like there are some exciting things going on in this thread! Meyko and Pino - I hope late AF means BFPs for you two! Sending positive thoughts your way :) Pino, when are you planning to test? 

Treasured - OH said to me last night, "I don't want to upset you, but....so and so is pregnant." I nearly lost it. This woman is the meanest person alive and has no partner either! So unfair. It really does feel like they take our dreams, but I'm trying not to judge her...well, today at least. I was totally judging and throwing a pity party last night. I stormed off to bed at 9:30 and stalked this site so I could wallow in my own misery and barrenness. 

Sashimi - Glad you are feeling better today! Some days you need to just be down in the dumps and let it all out I suppose. I've read on other threads and forums that alot of women experience that tightness/pressure before they get their BFP, so maybe it's a good thing! You test Saturday? Will you be going to the doctor to test or testing at home...or both? 

Haribo - Where are you in your cycle right now? I'm having trouble keeping up with everyone here! 

Lauren - Fingers crossed that those are good symptoms for you. I've got none. Not even sore boobies, so praying that is positive. 

FF adjusted my AF date to Sunday May 6 since I O'd a few days early this cycle. Trying to hold out til May 8 if she doesn't show on Sunday. Been having a rough few days emotionally as well. Felt a bit better today - hopefully as the weekend approaches my spirits will be up!


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## SashimiMimi

Sleepy: There is a trend going on here where we are all emotional and don't have sore boobs... Maybe it's too early for me to be sore, but last month on the progesterone by boobs swelled up and were super sore. I bought a dress that I thought looked really great, but now thats not quite the case without progesterone boobs! 

Lauren/Sleepy: I go to thE clinic for a blood test on Saturday. I haven't POAS only because the trigger shot I had can give a false positive if you test early. I may be wrong but it can take up to 11 days to come out of your system. On the flip side, seeing a single line right now would probably make me go berserk!!! Like I can't even get a false positive with an hcg shot floating around in my system. So I think I'll just POAS on Saturday then head to the test. At least it will give me some indication what the results will be. I'll have to go to the clinic Saturday morning and then they call you before 3 pm to to you if it's positive or not.

Lauren, even though the fertility visits are emotionally and physically draining I'm glad we are doing it. I'm so glad we didn't wait until July (our 1 year anniversary of TTC) to seek help from our doctor and have all those tests done. I really felt something wasn't working and to me waiting an extra 4 months would have been a waste of time. If anything I wanted it just to ease my mind. So if you want to test, I think you should push for it.

So I really wanted to get in to see my naturopath this month before we go to Hawaii in June. I'm preparing myself for the idea that we may be TTC the old fashioned way if nothing pans out before then and I wanted to see if there was anything I can take that would help my EWCM be less hostile. The only Saturday she is in, she's fully booked. I can't get there during the week with the hours I work now, so I doubt it will happen. Oh well, even though I'm getting way ahead of myself I'm feeling like maybe it would be good just to do nothing and take nothing as far as supplements and meds and just.... Relax and have fun!! I can't believe I said that!

My other latest thing is I keep thinking in should have, would have, could have terms. Like, I should have started TTC when I got married 3 years ago. Or even before that!!! OH and I have been together since I was 23. He used to be terrified that I would get pregnant way back then and even remember him saying it would be a "tragedy" if I did. At 23, I probably thought the same thing. But I feel like I should have been more well researched about fertility and not wait until I was 30 to try! Then I start thinking about my sperm blocking EWCM and wonder why I was on the pill for 11 years. 

It's a vicious cycle. Even when I'm doing everything I can in the here and now I'm getting angered at my 25 year old self for not knowing the facts about fertility! I'll blame this on the super moon as well!!!


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi - I'm mad at my 25 year old self too. It has crossed my mind more than a few times today. I was so naive!


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## SashimiMimi

SleepyOwl said:


> Sashimi - I'm mad at my 25 year old self too. It has crossed my mind more than a few times today. I was so naive!

Glad I'm not the only one!! I don't think I even knew how ovulation worked exactly until we started TTC!!! 

OH was invited to play golf this weekend (one of his fav things to do) and he declined because he knew I'd be testing. So he may not burst into tears and curl up into a ball like I do, but he declined a golf game. Now THAT is support!!!


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## lauren26

LOL, the new motto of the thread is: "Blame it on the super moon!" I like that. 

My boobs have been slightly sore but nothing like they normally are. I've been down (supermoon!), but also haven't been raging and irritable like I normally am, either. I guess there's still time, lol. I really am doing my best not to read into symptoms. I'm starting to realize how much of a lather I work myself into during the TWW--I can't help most of it, but it has been easier this time around not symptom spotting quite as bad. 

Our 1 year anniversary of TTC will be in July, too. I will certainly go in for tests before that day comes! Thank you for the encouragement. I actually told OH today that someone on BnB (which is you) had gotten tests run and had an OK experience, and he seemed to calm down. I really understand my OB's point of view. She just doesn't want to do anything invasive or put me on a med I don't need. In her defense, she asked me if we'd discussed Clomid back in January and I told her I'd like to avoid that route (because I know it dries up CM and I have very little). 

Even though I'm a few years younger than you, Sashimi and Sleepy, I am blaming my younger self, too!! I wanted to BE pregnant at 25, and we waited. I'm not too far past it now, but still. I, too, lament the years of using BCP, condoms, pull & pray (not really a method, but we definitely used it for 3 years--of course, now that I know so much more about fertility it seems like a perfectly viable method for someone who can't get pregnant easily!). I SO didn't know that ovulation happened on one day per month and that we couldn't just 'get pregnant' any time we weren't careful. Sometimes the fact that we did pull & pray for so long and never got pg scares me, though we weren't BDing like bunnies, like we are now. 

Sleepy - The lack of a normal AF symptom sounds very promising!! Fx that the non-sore boobs will mean a bfp!! Plus you don't have to deal with the sore boobs.

Well, y'all. I hope this super moon kicks in and brings us all some good luck!! I feel sorry that we've all been feeling so crappy lately, but I'm also glad that we're in it together and can relate! I sometimes feel sad when I think about us not all getting our BFPs at the same time because I'll want to stay in touch the whole way--this thread and you all have supported me just as much as OH. Thanks for that.


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## lauren26

PS Can I just say that this TWW feels ENDLESS this month??

Also, Sashimi, I feel like the 'relax and have fun' motto is going to turn us all, eventually! It's not that I don't want to relax and have fun, it's just seemed impossible. Hawaii sounds like the perfect place to do that! Though hopefully you won't have to worry about that in June ;)


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren, this is the longest TWW EVER!! I feel like it is never going to end. Way to help me see the bright side of the not sore boobs. I complain about them every month and here I am complaining about not having them! Those gals can never win can they?? 

Sashimi, that is sweet of OH. They totally have their way of dealing with TTC and being supportive. Nice to know that he'll be around all weekend! Totally missed the part where you said you were going to Hawaii. Jealous! That will be amazing!!

Also Lauren, I had the same thought - what if we all get our BFP's at different times? I will actually be legitimately sad once this thread is all sorts of chopped up between different forums. Depending on the day...I may cry. 

Speaking of crying...on the way home from work I was laughing like a maniac at something on the radio that was NOT funny in the least only to burst into tears within seconds. This supermoon is making me NUTS!


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## lauren26

LOL on the laughing and crying! I will def cry when our little thread gets broken up!! Maybe if we make hommage to the super moon it will grant us all our BFPs simultaneously, lol. With any luck, we won't be far apart in our good news and our thread can just move into 1st Tri! Your poor boobs...they really can't catch a break! I treat mine the same way.


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## SleepyOwl

Plus I've been poking and grabbing and cupping them ALL day just to see. My boss caught me at work but just looked away. So embarrassing but frankly, I didn't really care. I had to know if they were sore or not, lol!


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## Pino6161

Sashimimi: First I suggest buying something called preseed. It's one lubricant that does not kill sperm. It's helps it towards the egg. It's like an EGWC substitute. 

I AGREE this 2WW is ENDLESS. I am going to test again this weekend if AF doesn't show up, but I am starting to slightly cramp more often (either that or it's gas LOL JK) so we will see.

Don't get to upset over others people's pregnancy. I know this sound sbad, but I keep myself positive by saying the Lord hasn't given me a child yet because right now their is only a supply of bad, ugly, mean babies that will run away from home when they are teenagers. He is waiting to give us a specially perfect baby :) I know It sounds horrible, but it makes me feel better!!!


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## SashimiMimi

Oh no! Does this thread have to end with a bfp? That would be really depressing!!! I hope we can all stick together no matter what. OH has taken a real interest as to what goes on in BnB, probably because he sees how much it helps. He asked me in the grocery store if we were going to arrange a "meet" once we all had our kids. (He only uses the Internet for work and email, and does not FB or tweet, so you can appreciate how naive he is when it comes to fertility forums!!) i explained that the women in here are from all over the world, but one person's OH (Lauren) from Colorado has the same sperm count as him. Lauren I think you said your OH was also 180 mill, if not I will blame super moon for dreaming it up!! Anyway, he seemed amazed at this bit of information, so I guess BnB is inadvertently supporting him, too. 

On a side note, another male coworker asked OH today when we were going to have kids. OH panicked and told him all about the process with the IUI. Just as I was about to get mad, OH said that this coworker had 3 kids all via IUI and they struggled for a long time. So that is now 2 male coworkers in his office that had fertility problems and did assisted conception.

I really haven't had any luck on other threads in here. In the assisted conception threads everyone companies follicle size and how many mgs of fertility drugs they took. I don't ask about that info as the only thing I want to know is if it's bfp. So I really don't want this thread to disappear any time soon, even though I want us all to get our bfps!!!


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## SashimiMimi

PS. I cried when I watched How I Met Your Mother tonight when one of the main characters went into labor. Then I switched to Glee and got choked up at that. If its not even a full super moon I can't imagine what a nut I'll be by the weekend.

Pino I tried preseed once, so that is a good reminder!! I'll pack it for my trip next month!! I have heard it can help big time. I just don't like actually inserting it into myself, but after all I've been through with the poking and prodding it won't be so bad I'm sure!!


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## Pino6161

The thread definatly doen NOT have to end with a BFP!!! Knowing the ins and outs of the entire process would be great, although I would be insanly jealous LOL.

My OH's family is Hispanic and it seems that anytime we see any of them it seems that the question popps up. It is so annoying!! It's not my fault they all pop out babies like nothing!!! Anyways we have heard all the questions from family and Coworkers. We always just say "not right now" because I know for a fact if we told them we were trying we would always hear "are you pregnant yet".

I did talk to his mom about how my periods were irregular for quite a white after I turned 18. I found out that after she had the first 2 kids it took her 8 years to concieve my husband. My sister-in-law had trouble with her 2nd child. It took her 10 years. They didn't have any trouble with the first though, and that throws me off.

My side of the family pop them out like candy though, I just don't get it.

You should have your husband put it in if your uncomfortable, as a kind of forplay. Put a bit on him as well, so he slides in cleanly, and it's almost as he cums the preeseed on the tip of him mixes with yours. The road is all paved in a way of thinking.... Sorry I couldn't think of any otherr way to put it.....

My main other thread I just started is a journal. To kinda put my mind ease and vent and so forth. Although my last post on their was reliving my first MC, and I cryed my eyes out while tyoing, as it's been on my mind alot. You are all welcome to read. The Link is at the bottom of my Signature...

Everyone keep in touch!!


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## Pino6161

Sashimimimi..... I cry all the time during my shows. Private practice starts in half an hour, and one character is pregnant with a baby with no brain. She has to give birth to it full term, and then donate the organs. I balled during a Greys Anatomy rerun this afternoon, and last night I cryed during Friends rerun. I think it's normal.... 

Last night I was going through so pregnancy journals of people that tryed for a really long time before they concieved. They had losses and still succeeded. It gave me some hope.


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## lauren26

It's settled, then!! The thread will go on! Lol. I don't want it to end with a bfp or two, either. Yayy!! It WOULD be fun to meet once we have kids--I do realize we're from all over the world, though! Super moon did not do you wrong on the sperm count--my OH has 180 mil. sperm count, too. OH said to me the other day (because when he asks what I'm doing online I tell him I'm writing to my friends here!), 'I like your friends!' He is finally getting on board with me going on BnB every day. 

Those assisted conception threads don't sound too warm and fuzzy! You're safe with us, lol, and super moon! While I'm oscillating between feeling devastated and hopeful, I'm surprisingly not emo right now. Of course two days ago I was completely losing it--how soon I forget my moods! I have been crying less than usual this cycle, which is kind of nice, but also worries me. Never thought I'd want to be teary! Glee gets me every time. I had to stop watching it. Though I cry watching my favorite comedies, so there's that...

Anyways, I'm SURE BnB supports our OHs simply by supporting us, but I'm glad yours could share a sperm count with mine! I told mine, too, about your OH's gold medal sperm. He liked that. He was sort of like, 'of course they are'. Mmmmmhmmmm.


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## Pino6161

lauren26 said:


> It's settled, then!! The thread will go on! Lol. I don't want it to end with a bfp or two, either. Yayy!! It WOULD be fun to meet once we have kids--I do realize we're from all over the world, though! Super moon did not do you wrong on the sperm count--my OH has 180 mil. sperm count, too. OH said to me the other day (because when he asks what I'm doing online I tell him I'm writing to my friends here!), 'I like your friends!' He is finally getting on board with me going on BnB every day.
> 
> Those assisted conception threads don't sound too warm and fuzzy! You're safe with us, lol, and super moon! While I'm oscillating between feeling devastated and hopeful, I'm surprisingly not emo right now. Of course two days ago I was completely losing it--how soon I forget my moods! I have been crying less than usual this cycle, which is kind of nice, but also worries me. Never thought I'd want to be teary! Glee gets me every time. I had to stop watching it. Though I cry watching my favorite comedies, so there's that...
> 
> Anyways, I'm SURE BnB supports our OHs simply by supporting us, but I'm glad yours could share a sperm count with mine! I told mine, too, about your OH's gold medal sperm. He liked that. He was sort of like, 'of course they are'. Mmmmmhmmmm.



It would be cool to be able to meet one day!!! Where is everyone from though??? 

It's a good thing to be able to take a break from the emotions every now and then LOL. Today I have been alot less emotional but I don't want to jinx it LOL. 

By the way, stupid question I caught on to the whole OH thing but what is the exact translation of OH????


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## lauren26

It's 'Other Half'. I didn't know for a long time, either! I thought it was 'Old Husband'. Lol.


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## Pino6161

lauren26 said:


> It's 'Other Half'. I didn't know for a long time, either! I thought it was 'Old Husband'. Lol.


I thought maybe only husband LOL at least now I don't feel bad LOL


How have you been holding up?


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## Pino6161

This is 2 separate entries from my journal that I would like to share. Please Do not judge me hard.
#1:
I am a little worried about the cramping after sex, and it's a long story, but here is why (this is the first I have ever talked about it)

On me and my husband's Anniversary 2 years ago, I had just found out I was 4 weeks pregnant. I hadn'ttold my husband yet. He took me out to dinner, and a movie. When we got home we had :sex: and afterwards I was in excrutiating pain. I was bleeding heavier than ever before. I threw up the pain was so bad. I was curled up at the end of the bed in fetal position, it was the only way to lessen the pain. I was crying so hard, and I finally fell asleep. My husband had no idea what was going on, and I was so scared to tell him. The next day he went to work early, and I went to my Aunts house. I was still in major pain, and bleeding horribly, but I was also in denial. My Aunt rushed me to the ER cause I was getting light headed and dizzy. I had bled through many pads, I bled through my pants, and I kept throwing up.
The Dr came in immediatly to see me, and he told me I miscarried and had to perform a D&C. I was so devastated. I stayed with my aunt for a week. My husband didn't really think anything of it as I had planned on going over their anyways because my Aunt was moving. 

I blamed myself, I know that that is stupid, but it's my reality. I was in pain, mentally and physically. I swore my Aunt to secracy. 

About a month later I broke down crying and my husband tried to comfort me. I didn't want to tell him because I thought he would blame me. I already blamed myself, I didn't want him to know that my body killed his baby. I ended up telling him, and at first he was quiet. He told me that he wished I told him because it was not fair that I had to go through it alone. He is the best.

I have had 2 other miscarrages, both as emotional scarring, but not near as physically painful. 

To this day the thought of it happening again pains me, and scares me so badly that it hurts. I will never forget my 3 angels in heaven.:angel::angel::angel:

I am so scared it hurts, to be hopeful.

:dust:

###2:
I have something to admit to. It's hard to confide cause I know how bad it is. I have to start at the beginning....

In 2008 it was my Senior year of high school. My parents sent me to Tucson to a boarding school. When I started there January of 2008 I weighed 145 lbs. By the time I graduated in May, I weighed 185 lbs. There really was no explanation to it. Dr's checked my thyroid, ran all kinds of tests, but everything came back normal. By 2009 I weighed 215 Lbs. That's where I have plateaued. After my first miscarriage I picked up a very dirty habit. I started smoking. Yes I know. I should be ashamed of myself, and trust me I am. Last year around the end of August was my latest miscarriage, and I was doing really well I found out and hadn't had a cigarette in a week. I got arrested on a warrant for my arrest from a ticket I forgot to pay when I was 16 years old. I was in jail for 3 days and 2 nights. It was ridiculous. I wasn't able to get hold of my husband cause all we have are cell phones, and collect calls won't go through to cell phones. I miscarried while in a holding cell. Anyways,he bailed me out, and paid the fine in full. The minute I got out I was distraught and all I wanted was a cigarette. 

All in all, right now I know I need to get healthy in full. The dr's did clear me fertility wise, but athey also said it would benifit me to lose weight, and obviously to quit smoking.

Last night I was laying in bed unable to sleep, and it hit me.

Why am I going through all of this trouble to concieve if I can't even get my lazy ass up to excersize, and quit a filthy habit.

I had the last cigarrete in my pack at 6:30PM. I am determined not to buy more. I need to quite this. It has already been difficult because for me it's not a craving persay but when I get bored I smoke. Lately I have been smoking alot. I got laid off about 3 weeks ago and finding a job is really hard!!! So I am bored alot!!!

I have never done a drug in my life, I have only seen weed once. This is my only bad habit (besides biting my nails). 

I have decided that smoking needs to stop, I just hope I have a strong enough will. I will try to start excersizing every morning.

I really hope I can do it, so right now I need support more than anything. Please do not judge me, I know it's wrong


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## treasured

:witch: got me this morning :( right on cue... had extreme cramps this morning woke me up in so much pain at 6am and took me ages to get back to sleep :cry: :( they are still there now but not so sore. Why does it have to be such a painful kick in the teeth that i'm not pregnant...AGAIN. Why cant AF just be invisible? According to my last 2 cycles opk (CD16) that means my LP is only 11, do you guys think this is the problem? I also dont notice a lot of EWCM at any point... what is preseed and how much/ where can I buy it? 

Pino- Im starting to read your journal now, how are you feeling today? still no sign of AF? FX for you!

lauren- im excited for you, when is AF due? Im keeping my fingers crossed, surely one of us has to get a BFP this month...? 

Where is everyone from, im in the UK so i'm too far away :(. 

My spirits are not very high today... down in the dumps! Need a big hug :hugs: 
I got my smear test results back though and I am all clear, not even sure what they were testing for but I guess thats good news. x


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## SleepyOwl

I'm totally down for a thread meet up once we all have our BFP's...whenever that is! We are pretty spread out though - I'm right outside of Washington, D.C. 

Pino - I'm following your journal now. Sounds like some very difficult experiences, but it's definitely good to share them with people who care and understand :( It's frustrating when your family seems so fertile and we are over here struggling. Good luck with the quitting smoking - one step closer to your BFP right?? Praying that your TTC journey ends soon (ummm like this cycle!! lol!). Fingers crossed for you!

Treasured - Sorry to hear about AF. I bought Preseed at CVS, which is just a local drugstore. I want to say it was between 20-25 dollars. 

10DPO today and wanted to test SO badly this morning, but didn't. Usually I start spotting around 11DPO so we'll see. Please stay away AF!!!!


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## countrygirl86

Wow I missed a lot in a day! I just want to start out by saying how much I appreciate all of you, your support is incredible and it really helps talking about everyones stories so I don't feel so focussed on my own! The supermoon is definitely going to become my scapegoat for my crazy feelings lately! It sucks we're all in crappy moods lately but at least we're in it together. I'm 25 now but DH is 28 and I think he might wish we'd started trying sooner. I would have liked to have had a baby in my 25th year but it is what it is. I tried to persuade DH to go in to see his Dr before June 6th but he doesn't want to make a big deal of it I guess. I'm in for getting together once we all have our babies! I'm in southern Ontario, Canada but love to travel :) And we definitely have to keep this going until we ALL get our BFPs then we can move into the prego ones lol I also found the same thing with the assisted conception threads, we aren't there yet but since we're only 1 cycle out I'm guessing that's where I'll end up but I can't relate yet since I don't have all those ml egg diameter count numbers yet! 

Pino thank you for sharing your journal entries, I'm going to stalk your journal now too :hugs: 

Treasured that sucks but now you can look forward to the next cycle! Hope she isn't too hard on you. If you are worried about your LP you should talk to your doctor, I think there's lots they can do but it also may not be a problem. I don't notice much EWCM either but I'm not sure it's worth investing in preseed at this point?

Sleepy - hang in there! Hard to believe we started out SMEP together and I'm still waiting to O! The last few days are the toughest I find! I just found this smilie lol :gun: take that :witch: lol


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## lxb

Sashimi - That's sweet of OH to decline golf! my DH is a big golfer himself, and I know that's pretty big~ :) Which island are you going in hawaii? DH & I went to Kauai, and LOVE it!! 

Sleepy - lol @ boobs poking/grabbing! I did that too! And freaked whenever someone walked by.... ! And I smell BFP right around the corner for u~~

treasured - :hugs: let's ditch that witch next cycle!

Pino - :hugs: It is heart breaking about as it is, and it is painful to go through it by yourself. it's great that you've got a great husband who supports and wants to share all the goods/bads in life with you. & best of luck with quitting smoking. you can do it!! :hugs:


Ahh... tww IS too long! y can't we just do it and know it already! 

LOL at "OH". Same with Lauren, for the longest time I thought it was "old husband"!! Then I saw someone posting about her OH who is in early 20s and I thought... wait a minute, 20s is NOT "O" :dohh:

I know a lot of people just left this forum once they got their BFP and hope that wont' happen here. I'll be sad if this thread got broken up too.... and I really hope it won't as I don't want to let go of you amazing ladies! :( hope you ladies in tww will ditch that :witch: & get your bfp!!!! as to the other ladies that witch got us this cycle, we'll catch up shortly!

** edited **
country! haha... I love that smilies too!! :gun: FX for u!!


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## lauren26

I am in Boulder, Colorado, pretty far west.

treasured - I'm so sorry, and I am with you--why DOES it have to be such a painful reminder? And always in the morning! I've always hated AF's arrival, but even more so now that I'm TTC. :hugs: :hugs:

Pino - Sounds like you've been through a lot!! Good luck with quitting smoking--it will definitely help you get your BFP! I know it's tough to break habits, but think of how much stronger you'll be when you do :)

AFM, I am 11dpo. I thought AF was due tomorrow but I think Friday....FF has my test date as Friday, so does that mean that's when she's due? I'm hoping that if she comes it's not until at least Friday, because that would put me at another 12 day luteal phase, which I worry about. treasured, I'm with you--I feel like anything under 14 is not OK, though I've heard that anything above 10 is fine. My OB didn't seem too concerned....My longest (that I've charted) was 13. Since implantation can happen at 12dpo, I frequently feel concerned about my LP. I hope you get more answers than me about it! I know that you cas use progesterone to lengthen the LP, but I've been too scared to try the OTC stuff. You can probably buy it online, but I would buy a brand that advertises the dosage. PreSeed can be purchased on Amazon.com if you can't find it where you are. Where I live it's $22 for a tube. 

Today and yesterday I had a little red/pink when I checked my cervix first thing in the morning, but nothing on the tp. I don't want to speak too soon, though, like I always do, lol. Yesterday I saw no more of that after the initial morning check. Hopefully today follows the same trend! And the next day, and the next :) I am not feeling super hopeful, though, to be honest. I'm with you, treasured--someone has to get theirs! I managed not to test this AM, even though I wanted to, and even though I hadn't gotten up to pee at all last night (a miracle for me). Maybe I'll start taking FF's advice and not testing until the day AF doesn't show! It seems like the more convinced I am that she'll show, the more I want to test!


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## treasured

I would love to meet up with you gals! Although I am miles away :( I would deffinately be up for a trip over to the U.S though and I have relatives in Canada! Me and OH were thinking of visiting them next summer! I'm deffinately going to be sticking around in this thread when i get my BFP. Even though Im unconvinced at this moment in time! 

Countrygirl- i mentioned LP to my nurse last time I spoke to her and she didnt even know what it was and told me it wasnt a problem!

My nurse also said i should be taking folic acid, but I thought that was to help your baby, not to conceive. Has anyone tried it ? 

lauren- thank you for hugs :) its horrible isnt it, why cant it make you feel happy and be sparkly or somthing haha! im sooo excited for you to test I am hoping you get your BFP and then maybe your luck will bring mine next cycle!! I am the same as you, as soon as I read about luteal phase I was really worried, although I have only actually taken OPKs for 2 cycles out of all 6 that Ive had. And Ive had 30 day cycles, and theyve only really regulated in the last couple of months, i guess i could say I was NTNP for the first 3 months.... Im deffinately going to use OPKs this month and take b6 every day so that I can be positive how long my LP is. I might get some progesterone cream and see if that works! FX for you and I will try to keep the :witch: away!! xxxx


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## treasured

Also, lauren you mentioned about checking your cervix, this might sound silly.... but I dont think ive ever felt my cervix? I cant seem to reach it, all I feel is like spongeyness around the sides but it doesnt seem to end haha!! is that normal? xxx


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## lauren26

Lol, treasured. It's difficult to find at first, especially when it's high. I use my middle finger, since that's the only one that can reach it. Mine is pretty far back and the opening is tilted sort of to the back (towards my butt). I tried finding it on my own, after using the rr, since you're in a good position sitting like that to check. TCOYF also recommends squatting down and checking that way, though you have to be careful not to scratch anything. It will feel kind of spongy but also smooth. Mine, when it's low, is very long, and when it's high is a mushy little pile. It's a little intense/graphic, but there is a website called beautiful cervix where you can look at images of two cervixes on different women. Once you know what it looks like it's kind of easier to find. Anyway, I check mine for position and opening and firmness (which are kind of difficult to determine), but also because I don't have much CM and I get way more if I sort of feel around the cervix. Happy experimenting! Lol. Let me know how it goes! It definitely feels a little weird the first time you check.


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## Pino6161

Thanks everyone for the support.

Treasured..... Sorry about AF, I know it is frustrating it is month after month. Your time will come. Preseed is a lubricant that doesn't kill all of his sperm like everything else. It is great if you don't produce enough EGWC. You can get it at a pharmacy. Walgreens. I know Walmart has a similar one with a different name but I'm not sure how good it is.
Your cervix if you ever do touch it, you can tell. It's a blob or roundness within the spongyness. Try standing up, and putting on leg on the counter. It is easier to reach that way. Since AF got you, it will be low down, and easy to reach.

Sleepy Owl..... Hopefully AF stays away, and it's your month

Country Girl 86........ It is normal that your husband doesn't want to go to the Dr. I took us over a year to gethim to the Dr. Men have a very sensitive ego

Lxb..... We won't let the thread fall apart. If someone leaves is we will just have to hunt them down, do some real stalking LOL JK!!!



So far no AF, but I have a question. As you guys remember, I was angry and I didn't track my ovulation this month, but according to me calender I ovulated on the 13.

on the 21st me and my husband were about to have sex, and I noticed EGWC, I didn't really think anything of it. Do you think I ovulated late, and that's why myperiod is late?

I am cramping a tiny bit, but my lower back iss sore.

I have not had a cigarrette since last night. SO far so good, but just a little cranky.


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## countrygirl86

lxb - in my head 'DH' is still Damned Husband lol

lauren - I think what FF has as test is projected AF date. When I still had the free VIP trial there was a lot more description but on mine it's the day AF is due so that must be how they do it. My LP is 13 days pretty consistently and I've also heard anything over 10 is ok. What's the weather like there this time of year?

treasured - the folic acid IS to help the baby but they recommend you start taking it 3 months before TTC to get a good amount of it in your body since you find out you are pg and are already 4 weeks along. I take mine in a prenatal multivitamin. Where are your relatives?

pino - men are funny that way aren't they? When he had testicular cancer he noticed the bump for a little while but didn't go to the doctor till it started hurting. It's definitely possible you ovulated late, that's a good sign of it! Congrats on the no smoking! Keep it up!


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## Pino6161

CountryGirl86....

I know what you mean men are very stubborn, and they think that they are a god. Nothing can go wrong with them LOL. Sometimes realtiy hits a little hard.


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## lxb

Ahh.. I'm also not sure if I've actually felt my cervix before. I was afraid to scratch it.... and touched something a little firm (Only manage to touch it ~2 times?... i think). Body parts are such mysteries~~

:haha: :haha: Damned Husband! :haha: :haha:

Yes Pino! We shall do some real stalking indeed if that's the case! :haha: Regarding EWCM, could it be from pre-bd arousal cm? if not, that could means u O late, therefore late AF. Were you sick? that could cause delay in O... or perhaps too much stress? & like other ladies said, yay for no smoking! keep up the good work! :wohoo:


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## Pino6161

I am not sure it could be arousal cum IDK.

I need some advice though. AF is late, but who knows why.

I have been using the clearblue ovulation strips, but since I started on here I keep hearing about the clearblue fertility monitor. I did some research on it, and me and my husband talked about it. I know the first entry in the monitor should be the first day in your cycle (AF) so should I go and and buy it and wait for AF to come? But what if AF doesn't come and it's my month? I know chances are slim, but still.

I didn't even know about it until I looked into it last night, I know sounds stupid, but I assumed when everyone talked about the clearblue, I thought they meant the ovulation tests. I didn't even know there was a monitor.

Anyways. Should I but it now so I have it when AF comes or should I wait and see if AF comes, and have to wait another month to uses it.

IDK maybe I should buy it and not open it until AF comes so I can return it, but I want to be able to sit down and read the instructions and what not to understand it better


HELP LOL


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## Pino6161

I broke down and took my last test that was sitting there. It was BFN. It kinda broke my heart a little. Anyways me and my husband are going to go get the Clear blue fertility monitor tonight. And hopefully that will help. Cause negatives are really getting on my damn nerves!!!

Does anyone already use this product???

Any suggestions, because I am really at my wits end. 

And I really want a cigarette. If I had one in the house, I would smoke. I hate negatives!!


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## lxb

Hmm, I dont know much about the monitor either. Did a little reading and it seems pretty straight forward. You test with your FMU everyday, then stick it into the monitor! 

https://www.clearblueeasy.com/clearblue-easy-fertility-monitor-faq.php

If you really want to try, I think you should get it and not open it so that you can return it (because your BFP might be just around the corner~~ ! :dance: )

** Edited **
Ah, seems like we post at the same time. Get rid of the cigarettes!! (Crazy idea, maybe you should POA'C' :haha:)


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## haribo813

Pino - i've bought the Clearblue monitor, there's not much to set it up but you do need to set it up by the 5th day of AF or wait another month (you also need clearblue testing strips). I bought it too late last month but have only just started using it for this cycle-was hoping by buying it (it's not cheap!) that it would keep AF at bay but no luck. I can't tell you how good it is yet though! Great that no cigarettes today, keep it up. And sorry to hear about your previous miscarriages, I can't imagine how hard that must be.

Sleepy and Treasured - fx for you both! Maybe i should get cervix feeling too!
Sashimi - no symptoms is good, sending you lots of good luck for Saturday - I'll be at another wedding (I kid you not!)

I'm on CD3 but having a weird AF-it used to last 7 long days, last month 5 days, this month after day and half not much bleeding but temps still low, maybe i'm finally getting the birth control pill out of my system after coming off it last July! Seeing a nurse next week and going to beg her to do blood tests on me, we shall see.

Lxb - groping your boobs at work, ha ha, made me giggle.

I'd like to stay in touch with everyone on here too, I'm from London in the UK so also a long way away-who wants an Olympic baby anyway, 2013's where it's at! 

:happydance:


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## Pino6161

That's the way I thought about it too, but right now I am really discouraged because I broke down and took my test and got a BFN I am so disappointed.I figured that if I was prego, the hormones in my body should already be generating enough for the test to read... IDK.

I figured at this point it can't hurt to try the monitor.


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## haribo813

ps Sashimi totally with you on the turning back time... I used to WANT my AF as meant I wasn't pregnant. OH and I together 11 years this year! I completely changed career in 2010 but why did we wait so long!! And we'd like lots of kids cos I come from a big family myself!...Idiot! Your Hawaii trip sounds amazing, what a nice thing to look forward to.


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## lauren26

LOL at POA'C'....

country - It has been record-breaking warm here. Usually it's cooler, rains a bit, and even snows through April, May, and sometimes early June. It's been gorgeous, though--sunny and 75-80. Today is a bit cloudy, and it's very dry out, but it's lovely because all of the trees' leaves are fully grown (because of the early spring and high temps). Lol, CO's thermal shift....

I have a question. WHY, when women find out they're pregnant, do they automatically get put at 4 weeks?? Aren't they 2 weeks pregnant on the day of missed AF?? This makes NO sense to me. Maybe I'm understanding things wrong...

Wet CM for me today, but stable temps. Still, the CM makes me think AF is close... BOO AF.


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## lxb

Lauren, yea, I'm with you on this one. with being really '2-weeks' preggo but showed as '4-weeks'. I actually googled that a while ago. And I guess to make it "easier", they always start at CD1 as they're not exactly sure when you O. That's the explanation I've read :shrug:

BOO! stay away AF!


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## lauren26

That's dumb. They should just assume you O approx 14 days prior to AF. So dumb! I don't know why but that's really pissing me right now!! I blame super moon! Lol.


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## lxb

:haha: I googled "supermoon" .. and guess what I see?!


Spoiler
https://mattbepler.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/supermoon.jpg


:rofl: :rofl:


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## Pino6161

I love your super moon LOL!!!!!!:happydance::happydance:

So I just ordered the clearblue fertility monitor online, cause they didn't have any in all the stores I called. So I might have to wait until next month either way just because I don't know when it will get here...(I practically live in the middle of nowhere)

So anyways for the monitor, strips and more preseed (I am out) I spent $140 dollars. It's a good thing I am quiting smoking cause I can't afford it now LOL:dohh:

So what is the world is going on??? Why do I have no AF and a BFN? How is that fair and least when I AF I know I'm neg. but now i'm sitting thinking about it cause it's taking forever to get here GRRRRRRRR


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## preg_pilot

Hey guys.
Seems I´m right smack in the middle of ya´ll (well, in the center between you anyways).
I currently live in Iceland, and will do that for the next 6 months at least.
If I get pregnant soon, that will probably be the semi-permanent residence for me.
If not, and I lose my job in november, I will probably be moving to Japan, or china, or arabia, or india, or... you get the picture. Completely unknown.
If I keep my job on the other hand, of course I´ll stay, pregnant or not.

Feeling very pregnant these days, though I don´t know if I am just yet.
I´ll be testing on the 12th, if AF doesn´t show on the 7th...


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## lauren26

preg pilot - Woohoo for feeling pregnant! That's exciting :) I hope this is your month. Iceland! I have heard it's really beautiful. 

pino - I hope you get an answer soon! I know that it can take a little while after missed AF for a test to be +, so hopefully yours is just delayed!

I am pretty sure I'm out. I haven't had cramps, but my CM it wetter today (meaning I think estrogen is starting to take back over), and I just still have some blood-tinged CM. I know that women who spot can get pg, but I'm OVER IT. SO over it. Can't stress that enough. Hear that, super moon!? Lol on the super moon pic, lxb! 

Speaking of, here's a super moon article I just found:
https://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2012/02may_supermoon/

Will, of course, keep you all posted, but I am expecting a temp drop tomorrow and AF on Fri  I hope I'm wrong but I fear I'm not.


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## SashimiMimi

Great article on super moon Lauren!!! We should all take pics of it from where we are I the world and post. It could be a good TTC distraction!!! 

On the checking cervix topic, I've never checked mine. I have a fear of checking it and I don't know why. Also, my fertility doctors said to me "my god you have a long vagina!!!" the first time he checked things out down there. In fact, every time he checks down there he has to change speculum sizes, forgetting that the medium sized one or whatever is too short. He assures me it's normal because I'm tall, but he always uses the world "long" and it makes me cringe. So OH has gold medal Olympic sized sperm... And I have a long hoo hah!
So embarrassing!!!

Lxb that s a great super moon pic!!!! And as for Hawaii, we are spending 2 weeks on Kauai. On a completely non TTC topic, I'd love some travel pointers for Kauai. When were you there? Any places or must see places, activites you recommend? My husband will naturally golf while we are there and I'm excited to hang on the beach if he plays a game or two. 

Country girl, I guess we are closest to each other. I'm in Toronto and i remember you saying you were a couple hours away or so!

Sleepy will you test today? Hope AF steers clear!

Are LPs generally the same each month? I know for a fact last cycle I O on day 15 and then AF showed up on day 30 or 31. I only got spotting the day before I guess because of the progesterone. Lauren, we can't get progesterone OTC here. My clinic supplies it with a prescription! It's not fun to insert vaginally, but it's helped a lot with spotting. You should ask your doctor if it's recommended.


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## Pino6161

So totally off topic, I just watched the movie the Darkest Hour, and horrible ending!! me and my husband were soooo disappointed LOL.

I am getting really wet cum for the last couple of hours, and it's not "I'm turned on" cum. well, not all of it LOL JK. I am getting frustrated!


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## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> preg pilot - Woohoo for feeling pregnant! That's exciting :) I hope this is your month. Iceland! I have heard it's really beautiful.

Yep. Gorgeous :) I really missed it when I was in Denmark, but now I´m missing Denmark too. Can´t win, can I? ;)
Update, still queasy, still cramping though they´re getting different. Like they´re a bit lower down, and feel like twinging instead of spasming. Lower back hurts like hell.
:dust:


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## Pino6161

preg_pilot..........

I have my fingers croseed for a BFP for you!!!!!


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## Pino6161

So I have come to a conclusion on why none of us have had any luck with TTC.... It's because Michelle Duggar was born with all of our eggs.... I mean SERIOUSLY 19 fucking kids!!! Pardon my language, this just pisses me off!!!

On a different note. I have been up allllllll night! As a plus, my house is clean! I mean when we all get our BFP, we can give birth in my house it's so sterile LOL. OCD is a pain, but I love it LOL


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## Pino6161

By the way, I am torturing myself watching "A Baby Story" I cry every time


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## treasured

countrygirl- my family are in toronto i think.... atleast they were the last time I spoke to them... I get confused with geography hehe. 

sashimi- yup, LP is supposed to be the same each month, or varying only by 1 day either way, so Ive heard. although Im pretty sure I increased mine by taking b6, but if yours is at 15 days then your perfectly fine, plenty of time to get implanted! did you have a short LP before you started using progesterone? I dont spot, it just come like bloody niagra falls but i was only 11dpo :( so I feel theres no change for my wee egg! 

lauren- dont you count yourself out yet! not till the old hag flys in. god Im getting really angry at AF and actually thinking there is a horrible witch out there looking down on me cackling! you can get lots of strange CM when preg so it might just be that!! still FX :)

pino- you must be SKINT after spending all that :O who would have thought it could cost so much to get pregs eh, dont want to think how much ive spent on HPTs and OPKs.... and all the wine/chocolate and cake I buy when AF arives..... hehe! atelast you cant be buying anymore smokes!! 

I'm a bit happier today, OH has cheered me up and were going out for dinner and to see the Avengers film tonight :) woohoo. 
Kinda sucks though cause he had made an apointment to drop in his 'sample' to get tested this morning at the hospital, and for some reason you have to hand it in before 9.30 AM. Dont know about you ladies OH's but mine is NOT a morning type of person, and no matter what we tried the excitement of that little cup just wasnt going to work! so he was upset that he wasnt able to get a sample for the doc :(. I cheered him up by saying it didnt matter but Im kinda upset too cause how will we be able to get him checked otherwise? haha he was like I bet your dying to get on b&b and tell everyone... I was like YUP lol!! :D


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## Pino6161

treasured, while I was online today on CVS.com I found an at home sperm test. It is $40.00...It might be worth looking into. I have done alot of research on it, and it seems to be accurate... this is the link... https://www.cvs.com/CVSApp/catalog/...80&productId=882080&navAction=jump&navCount=3

I hope maybe this takes some of your worries.


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## Pino6161

By the way I am torturing myself watching "A Baby Story". I cry every time


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## Pino6161

Sorry, my computer is going a little nuts LOL didn't mean to post twice


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## countrygirl86

lxb - I'm the same, afraid to scratch it! Sounds like a lot of valuable info though so I may start, though I'll definitely feel silly the first time as I still do when I POAS! Loved the pic of the supermoon!

Pino - I don't know about the monitor but let us know how it goes for you! Keep up the good work not smoking! Aren't computers wonderful things lol

haribo - I keep saying to myself "Lucky '13" lol

lauren - sounds lovely there! We had a burst of summer weather in March but it's been more seasonal now, kind of cool and cloudy/rainy. Typical spring I spose. The 4 weeks is because it's dated from their last CD1. It didn't make sense to me either but that' how they do it! So technically we could all consider ourselves prego from CD1 till we ovulate lol

preg pilot - It's sounding really good for you! Where have you lived before? 

Sashimi - I'll definitely try to take a pic of the supermoon Saturday! I'm headed to a reception for some friends so I don't doubt it'll be a late night. Yes, I'm in Kingston :) Can't wait to hear all about your trip! Though we'll miss you while you are away... My LPs are right around the 13 day mark, it's nice to know you can kind of count on that!

treasured - lol @ niagara falls :laugh2: Sucks about the sample but I've heard about those home kits too, I think they only test the number of them though, not motility or mobility.

Still waiting to 'O'. I guess this is what I get for saying I prefer the first 'two weeks' to the last :dohh: It's exciting for all of you coming up to AF or BFPs though!


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## lauren26

Sashimi - I SO plan to take super moon pics on Saturday! I have been invited to a Cinco de Mayo birthday party and if AF shows tomorrow I'll have a few margaritas in me by the time super moon shows up. LOL on the long vagina--that does sound embarrassing for your doc to mention it every time. I have to say that as I've been checking my cervix this week it seems like my cervix is long....I wonder if that's normal! That's interesting that you have a fear of checking. In TCOYF she says that a lot of women feel squeamish about it, and I was a little afraid the first time I checked because of that. OH has bumped it many times during BD, so I knew the general whereabouts. That may have helped. Thanks for the tip on the progesterone--I am going to call my OB if/when AF shows and ask her to OK progesterone for me...She is super conservative with all of that, so hopefully she'll go for it. I am tempted to get another doc, but she's so sweet and patient. I like her, I just don't like her extended timeline for testing etc!

Preg - I'd looove to see Iceland! A friend of mine just started seeing a girl from there and he's always posting pics of his visits--are there fuzzy wild horses everywhere? Or lots of farms? Maybe they're just in the countryside a lot?

treasured - Thanks for the reminder that it ain't over til it's over! I just get SO discouraged by that, plus not having a very long LP. The combo is what does it for me. When I first joined BnB it was to post a thread about spotting to see if anyone had insight. I made a friend through the post who was on her 9th cycle, and she got pg that cycle. She PMed me to tell me and said that the way she knew she was pg was that she didn't spot at all. I know everyone is different, but I think I got it into my head that I just wouldn't spot when I finally got pg, so every month when I start to get pink CM I get really disappointed. It's gotten MUCH better since I've started acupuncture and vitamins. So there's that. Anyway, sorry, I didn't mean to write you a novel about it! I sometimes visit twoweekwait.com--they have a whole section of BFP with spotting, and that encourages me!

I am really thinking I'm out at this point, but still holding on to that sliver of hope (come on, super moon!). I had a temp dip today, so I feel like AF will come tomorrow, and have some cramping in my hip. The only sign that's absent is a smushy high cervix. At least my waiting game is almost over!


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## lauren26

country - We keep posting at the same time! Yes, it is so lovely here. My only complaint about CO is that the mountains are a bit rough and rugged--I hate camping here. I'm sure it's not much different in Canada! I adore Colorado, though I've wanted to move a few times. I love the south, and have wanted to move there many times, but it's HOT and the culture is soooooo different from the one I grew up in here. I hope that super moon kicks in and makes you super O!! Maybe you'll O a really giant egg on the super moon :)


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## countrygirl86

Lauren you just made me lol for real! I'd love to super O on the super moon! And yes we do keep posting at the same time, great minds think alike lol I have my fingers crossed that the super moon will bring you a super BFP! Where I live it's not too rough, we live around a lot of lakes so it's quite nice for camping actually. I love visiting the south but I don't think I could live there either, I like snow!


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## lxb

lauren26 said:


> Maybe you'll O a really giant egg on the super moon :)

:haha: :haha: 

sashimi - we stayed in kauai for a week for our late-honeymoon (first week of Oct 2011). We stayed by the lihue area (5 min away from the airport) and it was right in the middle of things~ DH & I both love doing nature related stuff, which is why we chose to go to kauai instead of other islands plus it is the most under-develop islands! The place we stayed at is really just <5 min walk to the beach! Sooo nice~ depends on the area you stayed at, it might rain a lot. But the rain comes and goes! it would rain for 5 minutes, and then it would be sunny for the next 30 min? so if there's an activity/tour that you want to do, you might to schedule that at the beginning of your trip in case of 'weather' issues. DH played golf twice, and I ride the cart with him as I love taking pictures! <One of the pics I took>

We did the following when we were there (7 days! a lot of the tours r pricey though):
- Airplane tour
- Zipline
- Na Pali catamaran
- Hiking at Kalalau
- kayaking
- Couple massage !
- waimea canyon is really nice too~
- visited attractions area (like the lighthouse/gardens/etc.)
- visited few other beaches
- visited a few waterfalls
- also went to farmer's market to get some fresh fruits~~

if you like snorkeling, you can bring your own snorkeling gears or rent for fairly cheap for a few days~ And there are some coupons at some visitors center as well.. depends on what you want to do :)

we also went to a nice restaurant (beach house restaurant), it is amazing! you can make dinner reservation before sunset time, and watch sunset there too~~ <PIC>

I can post some pictures here, and I can list out our itinerary for you to see if you're interested. I also have a list of food that we liked too! hehe... (we searched on yelp most of the time, and some were simply deeelicioius!)


----------



## Pino6161

The :witch: just showed her ugly face!! I am so pissed offf GRRRRRRR

I am cranky, and crampy, and pissed off!!:cry::growlmad:


----------



## lxb

Pino6161 said:


> The :witch: just showed her ugly face!! I am so pissed offf GRRRRRRR
> 
> I am cranky, and crampy, and pissed off!!:cry::growlmad:

:growlmad: :witch:!!

:hugs: :hugs:


----------



## preg_pilot

countrygirl86 said:


> preg pilot - It's sounding really good for you! Where have you lived before?

Nowhere terribly interesting yet. Born and raised in Iceland, moved to Denmark, and then just moved back (yesterday).
Plan on living abroad in the future though. Possibly Japan.


----------



## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> Preg - I'd looove to see Iceland! A friend of mine just started seeing a girl from there and he's always posting pics of his visits--are there fuzzy wild horses everywhere? Or lots of farms? Maybe they're just in the countryside a lot

Hmm. No wild horses that I know of. All of our horses are free range, they just roam around, but they all have owners.
Lots of farms yes, fewer than there used to be.
It´s basically just the "capitol area" where a bunch of towns are huddled together near Reykjavik. 
A 30 minute drive in any direction, will get you away from the "city" to the countryside. :)


----------



## Pino6161

So I talked to my brother today, and he is learning to avoid talking about his wife's pregnancy. I never said anything about it, but for some reason, I thhink he realized I don't like hearing about it. I tryed calling my mom today, and no answer, I really miss my family, I haven't seen them since last year. "sigh" 

I am cramping pretty badly, and my midol isn't helping (it usually does) It's frustrating.

I really need a hobby cause it seems that I am on this website 24 hrs a day.


----------



## SleepyOwl

Eek I missed SO much in the past day and half! Pino - so sorry to hear about the witch. At least the wait is finally over now.

Seems like everyone is for the most part still waiting. My temps are still high, but I'm so chicken to take an HPT! I peed on an OPK and it was negative. I don't know why I did that. Of course as soon as I did that my AF cramps kicked in. No spotting or anything yet, but I feel like the cramps and the slightly sore boobs are a sign. Still hoping my temps stay up and AF stays away from all of us. 

Also I totally look like I'm pregnant because my extreme bloating has returned. Seriously, someone on the train asked me if I wanted their seat. SO EMBARRASSING! I wanted to be like it's gas, not a child, thanks. Lol!! I'll try to post again to everyone individually tonight - I'm having trouble keeping up between work, exercising and sleeping! Ahh too much!


----------



## Pino6161

SleepyOwl said:


> Eek I missed SO much in the past day and half! Pino - so sorry to hear about the witch. At least the wait is finally over now.
> 
> Seems like everyone is for the most part still waiting. My temps are still high, but I'm so chicken to take an HPT! I peed on an OPK and it was negative. I don't know why I did that. Of course as soon as I did that my AF cramps kicked in. No spotting or anything yet, but I feel like the cramps and the slightly sore boobs are a sign. Still hoping my temps stay up and AF stays away from all of us.
> 
> Also I totally look like I'm pregnant because my extreme bloating has returned. Seriously, someone on the train asked me if I wanted their seat. SO EMBARRASSING! I wanted to be like it's gas, not a child, thanks. Lol!! I'll try to post again to everyone individually tonight - I'm having trouble keeping up between work, exercising and sleeping! Ahh too much!


I know what you mean!!!!:shrug:. I have the worst body ever. I have my Dad's body. When I gained all that weight after I graduated I learned how horrible my body is!!! All of my fat goes to my stomach and boobs. That's it. I have nice legs and arms, an NO ass!! So I look majorly pregnant. I have got the questiong so many times, and I swear I want to punch them in the face!!! It makes it worse that I am TTC. I have to watch what I wear cause in some outfits you would think I am. GRRR

Just another reason to lose weight, but it is so hard. Usually I can suck in, but when the witch is here, it is hard cause it hurts to sucl LOL. I usually avoid going out...:nope:


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## SleepyOwl

Hahaha Pino!! Hilarious! The strange thing is I'm fairly small - just have a MONSTER belly. Even my husband was like uhhh, why do you look like that? Gee, thanks love. Lol!


----------



## Pino6161

SleepyOwl said:


> Hahaha Pino!! Hilarious! The strange thing is I'm fairly small - just have a MONSTER belly. Even my husband was like uhhh, why do you look like that? Gee, thanks love. Lol!


See, I wish I was small. I am 5'8 and ever since I was young, I was always skinny, but big boned if that makes sense. When I gained weight it was just like "BaaahhhhBOOOOM" LOL the only plus is I have big boobs now LOL


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## SleepyOwl

At least you have boobs. I'm basically concave. 

Remember that OPK I peed on earlier. Totally has a line - not an evap, but not a positive. Just a faint, but noticeable line. Not like the last few I took after I O'd that were stark white. I'm kicking myself for POAS today. I'm going to want to test so bad tomorrow! Anyone testing tomorrow?


----------



## Pino6161

SleepyOwl said:


> At least you have boobs. I'm basically concave.
> 
> Remember that OPK I peed on earlier. Totally has a line - not an evap, but not a positive. Just a faint, but noticeable line. Not like the last few I took after I O'd that were stark white. I'm kicking myself for POAS today. I'm going to want to test so bad tomorrow! Anyone testing tomorrow?


I could totally test tomorrow with you, at least then either way you will feel better cause mine will be negative :thumbup:. I am kidding!!!

I am praying for you (real praying).


----------



## SashimiMimi

I just got in from a very late networking event and I'm totally zonked!!!

Lxb thank you for the amazing Kauai review!! I'll PM you my email address, as I'd love to hear more and ask more questions!! I am going to show my husband the golf course pic you took. He'll flip!! He is so excited about golfing in Kauai. Farmers market would be fun for me, I bet the fruit is amazing.

Sleepy, I'm testing Saturday as I said before so at least we are testing back to back if you poas tomorrow. I'd like to buy a home test after work tomorrow, do I have to wait until first thing in the morning or could I do an evening POAS?


----------



## Pino6161

SashimiMimi said:


> I just got in from a very late networking event and I'm totally zonked!!!
> 
> Lxb thank you for the amazing Kauai review!! I'll PM you my email address, as I'd love to hear more and ask more questions!! I am going to show my husband the golf course pic you took. He'll flip!! He is so excited about golfing in Kauai. Farmers market would be fun for me, I bet the fruit is amazing.
> 
> Sleepy, I'm testing Saturday as I said before so at least we are testing back to back if you poas tomorrow. I'd like to buy a home test after work tomorrow, do I have to wait until first thing in the morning or could I do an evening POAS?

You could POAS in the evening, but it is less effective.I suggest POAS with your first morning urine, it has more hormones in it because it is less diluted. All day you drink so urine is dilutes. When you sleep all night the urine settles in you until you wake. That is why it is usually more yellow(sorry TMI)

If you like me you break down in the evening and POAS LOL. I know hypocratic.:winkwink:


----------



## lauren26

I am testing tomorrow am! Of course I assume AF will be here (I always test despite her, lol). If she's not, I'm super testing (super moon!). Anyway, I'm trying to say that I think I'll get a big ole BFN, but I'm still testing! I will keep you posted. Fx for you Sleepy, that chart looks REAL nice ;) If this is your BFP I'm SMEPing all the way next month! 

Also, Pino and Sleepy, LOL on the way you've both presented your body types. I'm sure you're both just darling, and have a totally exaggerated view of yourself in your heads! 

GL everyone--Sashimi, I'd wait until Sat AM, especially since it's super moon Saturday, but you could hold it like Pino suggests and do a PM. I'm excited!! We've GOT to get more BFPs this month, right? Since I'm pretty convinced I'm out, I'm rooting for you all!


----------



## Pino6161

I have my fingers crossed for all of your :bfp: the super moon may bless you :happydance:

Lauren. I will try to keep the:witch: at bay over here. She is doing a good job with my cramping, so I will try to keep her here so you can :test: tomorrow without her!!!:hugs:

I wish you all some :dust:

If not I will kick that :spermy: ass for you for not doing their jobs LOL

Sorry I am totally having fun with these smiley things LOL :happydance:

Good Luck All !!!!!

:hug:


----------



## SleepyOwl

I didn't POAS this morning. I totally feel like AF is coming, so I really didn't want to waste a test if in fact she shows. Plus as soon as I temped I ran to the bathroom to pee since I had to go so bad! I had no time to grab that little pee cup lol. Also I think I'd like to wait til the supermoon, hahha!!

Lauren - I hope AF stayed away and you got to test! Fingers crossed for you!!


----------



## lauren26

Hey y'all!

So I did test this AM and I THOUGHT I saw a pink shadow...the line showed up and then faded but I thought it hadn't gone completely. AF showed about 2 hrs later, so I guess I was seeing things! 

In any event, I'm going to call a few new OBs in town right now because I'm done with waiting and wondering! Time for some tests! Lol. If anyone else who's had testing done has advice about where to start, I'm open! I want to get my thyroid levels checked, my progesterone, and possibly do an FSH test. Maybe an ultrasound and dye test, too. It will probably depend on how much my insurance will cover right now and how much those things cost. 

Sashimi and Sleepy and preg - Fx for you!

Country -I hope you got your O!!


----------



## countrygirl86

Pino - sorry AF got you! Hope she calms down soon and lets you focus on the next cycle. How long does she last for you usually?

Sleepy - lol @ gas, not baby! Soon it will be baby though, not gas! I'm so excited for you to test! 

Sashimi - good luck to you tomorrow! 

Sounds like we have a few testers today/tomorrowish! I think we are due for another BFP, or three! AFM, I took lauren's advice and called my doctor and got an appointment for May 29th so I'm super stoked about that! Still waiting to O but it's not concerning me until next week if I still haven't. DH seems to be more talkative about TTC too, I think he's beginning to see we are making progress. Last night we were going to go to dinner and he said "go pee on a stick so we can eat" lol I'm feeling much better about everything today, plus I won a gift certificate on the radio! Go Super Moon Go!


----------



## countrygirl86

there we go again lauren! sorry to hear you got AF but happy to hear you have a plan and are searching out new OBs. I don't have my appt till later in the month but I'll let you know what happens when I go. Hope you are able to enjoy a nice glass of wine or something tasty on the super moon!


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## lxb

Sashimi - Alrighty~ I'm happy to answer all yoiur questions (if i can)~ Oh, on the last day of our kauai trip (which we had some time to kill, DH found a golf course that only cost $7 to play!!), so we went to that golf course and there are chickens everywhere.. just hanging out by the golf course! lol ... so funny. 

Lauren - I was getting excited when I read your first sentence!! Is it really AF? :(

Country - :haha: your DH is too funny~ Wohoo on the certificate you've won! this is the first of many positive things to come~~~ :dance:

Sleepy - your temp still looks reallly good! POAS! POAS! POAS! :happydance: I sense BFP~~~~ 

Pino - I love those smileys too!!! I love to use this --> :gun: when I talk about my MIL! :gun: :gun: ... lol


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren sorry to hear AF showed up. My iPeriod iPhone app keeps alerting me with a daily countdown to AF which it predicts will be in 6 days. It's making me anxious!

So I don't know how it will be in your area, but this is how it worked for me. I went to my family doctor and told her we weren't having results with ttc and wanted to get tests done. She told me to relax and have fun. I said no. She referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist or fertility doctor and I went for an initial consultation where lots of questions about medical history were asked. 

I went on to standard testing that involved blood tests, ultra sounds, the dye test called HSG and we were given the option to do cycle monitoring in order to do that mix test where we found out sperm wasn't getting through my CM. This test is called cervical insemination or C.I. Although, considering you had a chemical I doubt this is a problem for you. 

I'm very lucky that Canadian medical insurance covers all of the blood tests and ultrasounds. We have only had to play for the actual IUI and progesterone so far, so about $600 total per month. $250 per IUI. It has been worth every penny and I'm glad we are going this route and not left wondering what's wrong.

I will be heartbroken if the test is negative tomorrow, but I'll just be sad for an hour or two and then pick myself up and do the whole process with fertility visits again next month. We know we did everything possible to make a bfp happen this cycle and if it turns out to be a bfn it just wasn't meant to be. Sigh!!

Country good luck with your appointment. Lots of women from all over Ontario are referred to my clinic here in Toronto so if you ever get to that point you'll have to let me know!!


----------



## SashimiMimi

Lxb we just posted at the same time!! Okay I will pm you my email when I'm not typing from my phone!!!! Thanks for being my Kauai expert as well as my ttc buddy!!!!


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## lauren26

Sashimi - Thank you so much! I didn't realize that IUI was so inexpensive compared to IVF. That's wonderful that you all have been able to do that every month with such a small cost involved! I am wondering if I can get an appointment with an RE without a referral--I just did some research on OBs in my town and there are 3 offices total...and all of them have both wonderful and horrible reviews. Good gracious! 

I am Fx hard for you tomorrow! I really hope it's your bfp, and if it's not I just know that yours will be right around the corner. 

Thanks again for all the information! It would be great to just get all of the tests done and move on. I think my OB and I could have a good relationship, she just isn't in a rush to do much. She's totally content to wait a year but she's already got her kids. I left a message with her nurse this afternoon that I'd like her to call and talk about testing with me this afternoon. If she balks at that I may just ask her to refer me to someone else in her office. Her office is probably the best (again, not much selection here), so maybe another OB there would be more open to investigating.


----------



## lxb

SashimiMimi said:


> Lxb we just posted at the same time!! Okay I will pm you my email when I'm not typing from my phone!!!! Thanks for being my Kauai expert as well as my ttc buddy!!!!

:hugs: :hugs:
Alrighty, will be waiting for ur pm~ :flower:


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## Pino6161

SleepyOwl, you have some restraint LOL I POAS no matter what LOL, as in I would have waited for the 2nd pee, just cause I am such an impatient person.

Lauren, Sorry about AF I know exactly how that feels!!!! Hopefully next cycle is ours!!!!

Country,I'll keep my fingures crossed for your SUPER O!!! The fact that OH is getting more involved can be a good thing!! Just try not to feel too pressured


So my cycle is always 5 days, and yesterday was one of the worst I have had since my MC. Usually I take sime Midol, and that takes care of the cramps. Last night it didn't do anything. So I ended up boiling some water and putting it in water bottles and wrapped a towel around it. It took the edge off a little, but not much. I didn't end up falling asleep until around 3 AM. I just hope today is better!!! I am still cramping, and I feel fat as hell....GRRRRR stupid witch:growlmad:


----------



## SleepyOwl

Lauren - So sorry about AF!! I think you have a good plan in place though. Hopefully a new doc will be just what your TTC journey needs. 

Pino - Can't believe you were up so late with cramps. That is awful!! I hope today is better and that you get a lot of rest. 

Sashimi - I hope everything goes well tomorrow. It's so frustrating month after month to get BFN's. You have such an amazing attitude about it all though. Really an encouragement to me, and I'm sure the rest of us. Regardless, I've got my fingers, toes and eyes crossed for you. 

Country - Hilarious that OH is getting that involved. Even he wants you to POAS! Amazingggg lol!! Hopefully the doc will be able to get things figured out with your cycle and O date. Are your OPKs still showing some color? 

AFM, I'm really scared to POAS. I feel like I know it's going to be negative despite my temps being high. I feel like such a big baby! AF is due Sunday morning, so I still have a couple days to go. UGHH! I've had cramps here and there today but no spotting or CM. I might give in and just test tomorrow morning if my temps are high. At this point, I don't count anything as a sign though. Last month I thought the few days of CM I had before my period were unusual and this month I have none. Who even knows anymore!


----------



## lxb

FX sleepy! I'm confused with my body as well... each cycle where I thought it's something "new" or "unusual", it ended up nothing. I guess it has a mind of its own and doesn't like to be the same every time! Hope your temp stays up... :dance:

:dust:


----------



## SleepyOwl

lxb said:


> FX sleepy! I'm confused with my body as well... each cycle where I thought it's something "new" or "unusual", it ended up nothing. I guess it has a mind of its own and doesn't like to be the same every time! Hope your temp stays up... :dance:
> 
> :dust:

Our bodies totally have minds of their own! Frankly, I'm not a fan. This wait is seriously torture this cycle.


----------



## Pino6161

I know what you guys mean. The only thing we can do is wait it out! ONe day, all this torture will be worth it, I have to tell myself that.

I do have one thing though, I knonw people say stress can reduce our chances of concieving, but I am the type to stress about stressing LOL. I think about it the whole 2WW. How do you not stress, I mean it's easier said than done. How do you stay positive with all of the negatives. IDK, just thinking out loud here.

Anyways, cramps have subsided slightly,and I am painting my guest room. Trying to keep busy so the disappointment of AF doesn't eat me


----------



## lauren26

Pino - I'm sorry you're having such awful cramps!! I have to say that since starting acupuncture and loads of vitamins I haven't had the same kind of kick-in-the-gut cramps that I have had for 15 years. It might be worth a shot! I took ibuprofen once today and usually I'm loaded up on it all day on CD1.


----------



## lauren26

I heard back from my OB and she agreed to do blood work, and then go ahead with the ultrasound etc. if nothing shows up. So I will d the day 3 FDH and estradiol on Sunday and then progesterone and thyroid after O. I'm happy about this!! I am scared, however, that they'll find something (or they won't), and I still just won't get pregnant. I'm certainly not feeling devastated like I normally do when AF comes, but I have a little bit of anxiety or something about the possibility that it won't happen ever. That happens to some people, right?? Am I going off the deep end, ladies? I blame super moon.


----------



## Pino6161

lauren26 said:


> Pino - I'm sorry you're having such awful cramps!! I have to say that since starting acupuncture and loads of vitamins I haven't had the same kind of kick-in-the-gut cramps that I have had for 15 years. It might be worth a shot! I took ibuprofen once today and usually I'm loaded up on it all day on CD1.

You have guts I am scared of acupuncture LOL I am NOT good with needles!!:shrug:


----------



## Pino6161

lauren26 said:


> I heard back from my OB and she agreed to do blood work, and then go ahead with the ultrasound etc. if nothing shows up. So I will d the day 3 FDH and estradiol on Sunday and then progesterone and thyroid after O. I'm happy about this!! I am scared, however, that they'll find something (or they won't), and I still just won't get pregnant. I'm certainly not feeling devastated like I normally do when AF comes, but I have a little bit of anxiety or something about the possibility that it won't happen ever. That happens to some people, right?? Am I going off the deep end, ladies? I blame super moon.

I am sure all your labs will come back normal!! GL


You know what? when I first started trying and not getting results, I swear when I went to the Dr and I was waiting for the results, I thought maybe it would be as easy as I left a tampon up there and thats why is wasn't working LOL:dohh: I know sounds stupid, but that's my reality :winkwink:


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## Pino6161

by the way, it wasn't a tampon LOL


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> lauren26 said:
> 
> 
> Pino - I'm sorry you're having such awful cramps!! I have to say that since starting acupuncture and loads of vitamins I haven't had the same kind of kick-in-the-gut cramps that I have had for 15 years. It might be worth a shot! I took ibuprofen once today and usually I'm loaded up on it all day on CD1.
> 
> You have guts I am scared of acupuncture LOL I am NOT good with needles!!:shrug:Click to expand...

Acupuncture is not painful at all.
The needles there are actually so thin, that you can´t feel them at all.
I had it a few times for my back, and I´ve never done anything that felt so good afterwards. Total relaxation.


----------



## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> I heard back from my OB and she agreed to do blood work, and then go ahead with the ultrasound etc. if nothing shows up. So I will d the day 3 FDH and estradiol on Sunday and then progesterone and thyroid after O. I'm happy about this!! I am scared, however, that they'll find something (or they won't), and I still just won't get pregnant. I'm certainly not feeling devastated like I normally do when AF comes, but I have a little bit of anxiety or something about the possibility that it won't happen ever. That happens to some people, right?? Am I going off the deep end, ladies? I blame super moon.

It's definitely normal to feel anxiety, but try to keep perspective on things. I know it feels like it's never going to happen or something will be wrong, but most people who want to get pregnant will. You are going to get pregnant!! This doctor's visit and these tests are just one step closer to that day. This is definitely a step in the right direction friend. Sending some calming thoughts and baby dust your way!!


----------



## countrygirl86

lxb - thanks, you have lots of positives coming up too! If nothing else, SMEP is fun! :happydance:

Sashimi - thank you for breaking that down lol that puts into perspective what my next steps most likely will be. You do have a very healthy outlook on all of this :) I'll be thinking of you tomorrow too, regardless of the outcome we are here to share the news!

lauren - I'm glad your OB has agreed to move forward with your testing. It sounds like she is one of the best and you are comfortable with her. You will get pregnant at some point, it's just a matter of when and you are well on your way towards that now. It's totally normal to think like that though, I do too. It goes back to what we talked about before where it's easy to give the advice but not as easy to take it or apply it to our own lives! Just blame supermoon lol

Pino - sorry to hear about the cramps! Hope you get some relief from the cramps with the weekend :flower: I don't think it's possible to not stress when TTC, especially in the 2ww. The only relief I've found is being on here!

preg_pilot - I watched part of the movies you posted (just youtubed it cause I couldn't find your post again) and it made total sense! The nothingbox! If only we could buy them somewhere lol


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren I was so nervous about my tests, but better to do them ands get answers. Also remember the one positive about the chemical... You CAN get pregnant. The tests will ease your mind and give both you and your OH some insight. I think I was most terrified of the dye test, not because I heard from my SIL that it was painful (it wasn't bad at all) but because I thought if I was blocked that would be game over. Sleepy is right, anxiety is normal!!!

Country I feel like a fertility clinic veteran. Let me know if you have any other questions.

I went to the drugstore after work and bought a home test. There was a sleazy guy in a suit comparing boxes of condoms right beside me. I smirked because I thought it was funny that condoms and pregnancy tests were side by side on the self, and I guess this guy thought I was smirking at him. When I grabbed the preg test he scoffed at me!! I kind of LOLed. Oh well, you run into all sorts of characters when you live in a big city I guess.

So I got a 2 pack of FRER did one at 6 pm, BFN. I'll do the other in the morning and then go for the official beta blood test after and wait the dreaded phone call. I feel like this whole process is becoming harder on my mother than me. She feels so bad for me and so helpless. I almost feel like I need to assure her that it's okay!

Well, I'm not feeling overly optimistic for tomorrow. But if it's another BFFN, I'm going to start hitting the gym really hard. I have a gym beside my work, I can go at lunch and I have 1 month until we leave for Hawaii. If I can't get a bfp then I will get a BB (Bikini Body) Hah!!! 

Lxb I sent you a pm! Hope you don't mind me asking Kauai questions. I don't know anyone who has been there. It's far to go there from Toronto, it's a 10 hour flight so it's a real trek for us East coasters. Where are you from again? I can't remember if you mentioned it before.

By the way ladies, our hotel will have wireless and I'm bringing my iPad. So not even an exotic vacation will stop me from BnB. But that's a whole month a way, a lot can happen and I really hope we see some more BFPs in here. We're long overdue!


----------



## SashimiMimi

PS. Sleepy it gets hard to stay positive, I have my moments of complete despair but I have to shake myself out of that mindset. It's easy to get sucked into negativity and if they say stress is bad for TTC, well I say so is a toxic mind!! How are you feeling? Any sign of AF? Let us know if u test fx


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## Pino6161

Everyone be positive:happydance:

I hope you guys get your BFP's during the supermoon!!!

I feel alot better, trying to stay busy.

I found a freaking RAT in my house I am sooooo grossed out!! My house is spotless!!! My OCD is kicking in, I have to be up early, cause it is the quinciena. Me and my mother in-law go grocery shopping every other Saturday after pay day. Gas wise it is great, but sometimes, well most of the time she just drives me NUTS!!! :dohh:

Well, I am watching the series finalie of In Plain Sight then off to :sleep:

Night everyone!!


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## lauren26

Thanks, all, for your calming and comforting words! You're right. It's normal to go into a little freakout, and I will get pregnant. I do appreciate that we take turns being steady hands and the helm! Country, I totally blame super moon :) And it is so much easier to trust our own advice when we give it to others, lol. I have no doubt that all of you will get your BFPs, and that it won't take much longer! I guess I just need to mentally place myself in that category. Thanks. 

Pino - Acupuncture is super relaxing. My body always feels like it's floating. And it really has helped my cycles. I am very squeamish about needles, and even this doesn't bother me (well, not if I don't think about it much before hand!). Once the needles are in you just lay back and relax. It releases endorphins, too, so it's relaxing and uplifting. 

Sleepy - I am really excited for you to test! I will be stalking that pretty chart....

Sashimi - Thanks for the kind words! You do seem to be good at staying really positive. And it is inspiring! I like your plan of getting a BFP or BB! Did you already say how long your vaca will be? Sounds super romantic! Your mom sounds sweet and very attentive. For me, it can help to have to show up cheerful for someone else--especially when that someone is my mom. 

Country - I'm glad we'll be in the testing boat together (with our docs!). As I was writing to you on your journal thread encouraging the dr visit I realized I should take my own advice and just do it! I don't really know what I was waiting for. I think I didn't want to seem pushy with my doc. I wrote to a friend who just got her MD and asked about the etiquette, and she assured me that it's totally normal to push back a little with docs and to really engage them in discussion about health decisions. Anyway, it helped me have the confidence to tell her that I just felt in my gut that I needed to explore everything. Do you have a good relationship with your doc? 

Anyway, all, I really appreciate the support, again. And I will attest to the stress-relieving powers of NTNP this month. Even though I'm disappointed this wasn't the month, I just didn't get upset like I have in past months. It has SO helped me to take a more emotionally relaxed approach. On to SMEP! And further relaxing. Lol.


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## lauren26

Hey y'all, I've also been meaning to ask if anyone else has cats, and whether their docs have recommended a toxoplasmosis test at all. I'm not concerned about it too much, but there's such a hushed fear around having cats around pregnant women and children that I was curious how everyone else felt. My SIL likes to scare me with stories about cat scratch fever.


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## Pino6161

lauren26 said:


> Hey y'all, I've also been meaning to ask if anyone else has cats, and whether their docs have recommended a toxoplasmosis test at all. I'm not concerned about it too much, but there's such a hushed fear around having cats around pregnant women and children that I was curious how everyone else felt. My SIL likes to scare me with stories about cat scratch fever.

I recently had to put my cat down, but before, I never had any problems, and the Dr. never said anything about it. I know that the ammonia in cats urine is very dangerous for pregnant women, and thats why they shouldn't clean their own litter box.

When my aunt was pregnant that was my job LOL I would go over there and clean it for her. She also would regularly give the cat a bath with waterless shampoo because the ammonia could attach. I never had that problem cause my cat loved the water.

IDK I really haven't heard of anything that would cause issues with fetility from a cat.

Ket us know what the Dr. says because now I am a bit worried to get another one (I found a mouse so I want another one)

GL!! and we ALL have our crazy moments LOL


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## SashimiMimi

We have a cat as well, but my doctor has never asked if we have one. I've heard about avoiding the litter box so OH takes care of that. I might ask next time I see the doctor. I just feel like someone at the clinic would have mentioned it if it were a huge deterrent for ttc. 

Just did another home test. BFN. So expecting the same with todays bloodwork. I feel completely deflated.

PS. Lauren we will be in Hawaii for 2 weeks after stopping in Vancouver for 4 days to visit OH's family. So I guess it's on to BB for me. ;)


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## preg_pilot

countrygirl86 said:


> preg_pilot - I watched part of the movies you posted (just youtubed it cause I couldn't find your post again) and it made total sense! The nothingbox! If only we could buy them somewhere lol

Hehe, yea. Sometimes I would like to be able to go into a nothingbox of my own :)


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## SleepyOwl

Hey y'all. Tested and it was negative. Temp slightly dropped this morning and I had some pink spotting when I wiped. Safe to say AF will show up right on time tomorrow. Feeling really discouraged and depressed today, so I plan on being miserable all day. I'm hoping to come back more positive and excited about the new cycle tomorrow or Monday. In the meantime I'm going to cry in my car, then in my bed, then on my couch. 

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! I won't be on til late tomorrow or maybe even Monday. Running my first half marathon manana. Excited about that at least!


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## lauren26

Sashimi and Sleepy - I'm sorry to hear about the BFNs. Now that I'm on to CD2 instead of 1 and can officially accept AF (lol, I always feel better on day 2!), I'm back to feeling like every month brings us closer to our BFPs. That said, sometimes the only good course of action when faced with a BFN is to have a good cry! Or ten! 

Sashimi - I haven't heard that cats can be detrimental to TTC, just that the toxoplasmosis you can get from them can cause mc, though I think it's very rare. And my parents' generation was very afraid of cats suffocating babies. But you're right, Sashimi, the docs would be routinely asking women who TTC about their cats if it were a huge issue to have them around babies. Two weeks sounds amazing!! I have never been to Hawaii--maybe you can share a couple of pics of the pretty scenery with us! I bet you're excited to get your BB--I love working out when I really have a goal. Any other time it's really just because I'm supposed to and so that I can eat more, lol. AND it's so much more fun to shop for vacation wear when you've got a newly rockin BB! 

Pino - I do have a little info on it already, since my vet told us about it a while back. The part I was mostly unsure of was whether they are considered safe around babies--but honestly I think the cat scratch fever incidences are very low, lol! And people used to be a lot more paranoid about cats and pregnancy/babies. Anyway, I am happy to share the info I already have! If you have a cat and the cat has toxoplasmosis (a disease you can get from their feces, so staying away from the litter box is good), then you probably already have it, too, so you're safe to get pregnant. If your cat doesn't have it and contracts it while you're pg and then passes it along to you, then you risk mc. Our cats are indoor cats so I never worried about that part. If you're thinking of getting another cat, your vet can probably do a test on it before you take it home, and then advise you on how to deal with it if the cat has the disease. If the cat does not have it, then it should just stay inside so that there's no risk of picking up toxoplasmosis from another cat outside. 

preg - Are you the only one in the TWW still?? We'll fight AF off tooth and nail!!! 

country - How are those OPKs looking today? Super O!!!

So in the US the super moon will be brightest at 11:35 PM Eastern Time. I don't know how that translates for everyone else in their time zone. However, it will look the super-est (the biggest) when it's rising. I'm hoping to catch it and take a few pics! I love the full moon. And Cinco de Mayo. That's my novel for the morning! I hope everyone's weekend starts off well.


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## SashimiMimi

Sleepy don't feel bad. I did everything humanly possible to get a bfp with one of the most highly respected RE's and it's very likely that it didnt work...again. It's really disappointing. I felt so deflated after my bfn on the FR test that I cried on the subway, cried while I was having blood drawn, cried while I was ordering coffee and just broke down when I called my mom.

We are going to visit my parents today, so at least that will keep me from being on the couch and watching all my guilty pleasure TV shows that I have saved in my PVR. I wish the clinic would just call me and confirm what I already know. BFFN! SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So at least we can bummed out together. And all the headlines today in the paper are about that damn super moon!!!! I'm blaming it for yet another negative!


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## SashimiMimi

Confirmed by the clinic: Big Fat F-ing Negative. Was expecting it but I still crying uncontrollably. I feel bad for the nurses who have to call with bad news. They are so compassionate and encouraging! Well on to the gym and maybe round 3... I might take a break from the emotional stress.


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## lauren26

I'm sorry, Sashimi! :hugs: :hugs:

Hopefully the 3rd time will be a charm. We are here for you :)


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks Lauren!!! I'm okay now. Had an hour of being sad and then angrey, but now I'm okay!!

My horoscope is so fitting for today. I find it inspiring!! I think this can be applied to all of us, Gemini or not!!


Gemini- Saturday, May 5, 2012
Don&#8217;t feel let down just because a certain big development has not yet happened. You must think longer term. Rather than steeling yourself for bitter disappointment, you ought to be expecting a hopeful breakthrough which is sure to come. A threat has passed. Good luck approaches.


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi - I'm so sorry about the BFN. Totally blaming the super moon!! I cried on the way up to my best friend's for a bit, but felt so much better just seeing her and hanging out. I know TTC is just a small part of my life and I have so many wonderful people and things to be thankful for. My hour long pity party was more than enough. Of course, I'm still disappointed, but I know it's going to happen for us!! 

Onto the next cycle!!


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## SashimiMimi

Agreed Sleepy. I'm at my parents and I'm goofing around with their 3 dogs, who used to be my dogs when I still lived at home. It's a gorgeous day and being here with my family is really uplifting.

My mom is convinced we will get pregnant in Hawaii. I keep trying to explain about how the sperm can't get through my CM and she's like SO! Don't take no for an answer!! And then I insisted my LP won't be long enough without progesterone and she continued to insist that she just has a feeling. Anyway she shared an inspiring story with me...

I've mentioned that my mom had her tubes cut (not tied, cut!!) after having my older brother. She had them resewn together in the early 80s before having me and was told it was a 1 in a million chance she would get pregnant. She got pregnant with me on their first try after the surgery and then in her first trimester she started hemmoraging. She was told it was an ecotopic pregnancy and she needed an abortion ASAP or she could bleed to death. She said no, that she knew it would be okay and it was. Turned out to be nothing more than a cyst. And I was a happy healthy baby! I guess the moral of the story is a lesson in positive thinking. 

So I guess I'll try to be like that... Just not take no for an answer until I get that BFP! So... On to the next round, right ladies??


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## SleepyOwl

You got it Sashimi!! Thank you for the encouraging story. If your mom can keep hope alive through such trying circumstances, then so can I. I'm going to get that BFP if it's the last thing I do! 

I'm heading up to my parents today also. Family time and doggie time always makes me feel better too :)


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## lauren26

Sashimi - Wow! That is an incredible story. SO inspiring. That must feel amazing--to be the one in a million chance that miraculously happened! It's so nice to be around pets, too. My cats are so comforting--especially during AF! I am a Gemini, too! When is your bday? Mine's June 11. Will you be in HI for your bday? I really think you have a chance of getting pg while you're there, too, somehow...I know you've got the facts about your CM. I wonder if there's any way you could take something to dry it up for a cycle and use PreSeed, and take along some progesterone cream. At the same time, I bet it would feel like a relief to just let it go for a cycle, too. 

Sleepy - There's nothing like a BF and puppies to take your mind off of AF! Lol. I love the determined attitude, too! When we first started trying my BF told me her parents took four years to conceive her older sister. I thought to myself, 'Wow, I'd NEVER keep going that long!' At this point, I am in it for the long haul, if that's what's necessary! The longer we try, the more solid I become in my decision and wish to have children. I suppose that's the silver lining of the whole proces. It really is nice to be so sure that you want to be a mom!


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## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> preg - Are you the only one in the TWW still?? We'll fight AF off tooth and nail!!!

Still going strong here, yes.
Every symptom has been promising so far, except this one...
I checked my cervix today though, and it was sitting pretty low.
I seem to recall that it´s supposed to be high when preggers...
AF is due in 2 days (on monday). Fingers crossed that she stays away.


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren!!!! No way!! My birthday is June 12!!!! So, I'll arrive in Hawaii the night of June 11 and wake up there on my bday... And it will span OH's bday, too. He is June 21. He surprised me with a trip for my 30th last year (we went to Hilton Head, Savannah and Sea Island, Georgia), so if bday trips become a tradition I won't complain! ;) Either way, it's a welcome distraction. It's been a tough year with my MIL passing away last April, so we are looking forward to some relaxing vacation time.

The progesterone leaks big time, so I can imagine that would be awkward on the beach. My naturopath gave me chaste tree tablets to take during LP, that mimic progesterone in your body. I might just take that and use preseed. A break from all the hormones, injections and suppositories will be welcome!

Sleepy, I like what you said about TTC just being a small part of life. It seems like the big focus right now, but in the grand scheme of things it's not. I think I needed to be reminded of that today. Pets definitely know when you are sad. Our cat was acting really hilarious and goofy this morning and it made us laugh. My parents' dogs are a lot of fun today too. Animals are intuitive that way!

My parents are taking us out for dinner. We are going to an Asian fusion place that has amazing Thai food and sushi... So I think I'll order a giant plate of sashimi (hah!) because I can't eat that during the tww or with a bfp. So gotta look for the pros here. Another big pro to TTC is that we have all become friends! Wouldn't have happened if we didn't all get brought together by our personal struggles!!


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## lalinda

hello every one i am really new at this lol. new at the bloging also new at ttc i have been trying for 3 months, i know that might sound so short but when you really want somthing really bad and fail it gets really fusterating does any one feel mE????? DOES ANY ONE KNOE OF SOMTHING THAT CAN INCREESE MY CHANCES?


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## Pino6161

Hey everyone!!! Sorry I haven't been on. I'm so sorry about AF, but hope is still here for us!!! So last night was another bad night. I didn't fall asleep until around 4 AM it sucks! I am exhausted. I went shopping with my mother in law, and after 3 years of searching, I finally found the cologne my husband really likes. Polo Sport it cost me $80 and I bought myself a purse. It was on sale, and I only paid $12. I am cheap LOL. I really hate spending money on myself, but I don't mind doing it for others!!! 

For the first time in a while, my husband took me on a date. We saw the Avengers. Great movie. We didn't get home until midnight, and I feel bad because he has to be up at 4:30 AM for work. He works his ass off, and I love him for it, but I really wish that he could get a day off. He works on a cotton/hay farm so days off are extremely rare. 

I am sp spent and depressed, there really is no real reason for it it's just been a hard couple of days. I can't seem to stop crying. IDK hopefully a new day will help.


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## treasured

Ive only missed a few dayss but feel like im SO far behind!! How is everyone!? 

Lauren- noooo so sorry AF got you :( how are you feeling about it now? 

sashimi-LOVED that story about your mum :) so good toknow the chances of that happening were so slim and yet it did! 

pino- how are you keeping? I went to see avengers the other day toooo how good was it! LOVE thor. SO SO HOT. 

Im just finished AF, didnt have any cramps except from the first day so thats good! and it was very light actually so thats good. I have a question, do you think it is because I have a short LP that my period is so light all the time? like i literally only use about 10 tampons for the 5 days? is this because it doesnt have enough time to build up in the womb?

xxx :)


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## Pino6161

SashiMimi--- Your mother's story is inspiring, and it puts hope in my heart. I am glad you will be enjoying your birthday. I am so sorry about AF, on to trying again. I hope that your Mom is right. Have fun either way!! I am jealous LOL. The closest I have done for traveling is when I was 15 and me and my family drove from Arizona to Buffalo, New York, fun I guess but after a week with 3 siblings and a motor home things can get tense LOL. Make sure you take lot's of pictures.

Sleey Owl--- This month will hopefully bring better things, with out the Super Moon haunting us.

Lauren--- The long haul is tough, but I agree. When we finally get our BFP, and into the 2nd trimester, we will have the silver lining in view. I had a friend who just got pregnant after trying for a while, and she said something that I can't stop thinking about it. She said that she was happ that she was having a baby, but after trying so hard she thinks that maybe people that are TTC don't want a baby, they just want the pregnancy. I almost punched her in the face. But do you guys think there is any truth in that? Personally, I don't think so, but it kind of left this nagging feeling in me. IDK

Preg_Pilot--- My fingers are crossed for the witch not showing up. I have done a lot of research on the cervix, and I check mine regularly, they say that yes, in pregnancy the cervix is high and hard, but I have heard a lot of people get pregnant, and their cervix isn't really low, but they could still feel it, but it was hard. IDK if we can put a lot of faith in the cervical position. Either way good luck!!!

lalinda--- Welcome to the group. I haven't been here very long, but everyone here is great, and very supportive!!! The one and only thing you can do is make sure to have sex while ovulating, and then keep your fingures crossed. I know. It sucks.

Treasured--- I think you are blessed with short periods, and not really cramping. I truelly believe that everyones cycle, and body is different. Your short LP might be the cause of short cycles. That way it all equals out. I agree about Thor, he is seriously my type LOL. My husband just gave me the look LOL, but then again he says the same thing about Iron Man's girlfriend LOL.

So it looks like my monitor isn't going to gett here in time for this cycle. It sucks. Last night was another long night due to a terrible stomach ache and vomiting. If I wasn't on my period I would look at it as a sign. IDK it's frustrating. My husband got off a little early, and I enjoyed our time together.


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## Pino6161

Super Moon

Marana, Arizona
 



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## lauren26

Nice super moon pic!! Did everyone see it on Saturday? Where I live it was cloudy (boo), so I saw it for about three minutes, rising, before it snuck into the clouds. It was gorgeous for those three minutes, though! Later that night, around 2am, it woke me up with its super brightness. It wasn't huge and red and beautiful at that point, but SO bright. 

Pino - I have thought about that very thing. Like, am I just set on getting those double lines? Am I equally excited about actually having a child? I have thought about this a lot, actually! I've come up with a few things. First off, none of us can really comprehend the enormity of the transformation that will occur when we get pregnant and become mothers. I think that being really excited about getting a +hpt is most women's way of taking baby steps towards that transition, if that makes any sense! Our first month TTC, when I was convinced it would happen right away, I thought immediately I had gotten pg because I was taking prenatals and they were making me sick to my stomach, lol. This 'symptom', in combination with all of the books about babies and baby name things I was reading felt TOTALLY overwhelming, and I got really scared. Since we've had 9 more months of TTC to get used to the idea, I've slowly warmed up to thoughts about getting the +, dealing with morning sickness, etc., getting a giant bump and dealing with that bodily change, and slowly I'm allowing my mind to think about labor and how I'd want that to go. There's only so much we can hypothesize about and imagine! And I think there's a reason that we all feel hopeful and excited in the TWW, and why we feel devastated when we see that BFN--it's because we all really want a baby!! At least that's my theory. I first realized that it was time to seriously TTC after a family event with my SIL, BIL, and nieces. Once OH and I got in the car to go home I totally broke down. I LOVE being with my nieces and my body was just aching for a baby when I was with them. It's like a switch got turned on--the mothering switch, lol. Anyway, my favorite life coach, Martha Beck, likes to say that any time we start sobbing uncontrollably after a happy occasion, or feel joy in a tough circumstance, it's time to pay attention because those feelings are likely pointing us in the direction of what we want. Sorry for the novel!! I apparently have a lot of thoughts on this... :)

preg - Did you test today?? I soooo want to hear! 

treasured - Yes, AF is a bummer!! I feel OK about it now. I was actually not that upset this month--NTNP really helped me take a step back and enjoy the month. Now I'm right back on the horse and ready to SMEP! 

Sashimi - We are so close to being birthday twins! That's amazing that OH surprised you with a trip! I've always wanted to go to Savannah, and thought about art school there. That's soooo exciting that you'll get to spend your birthday in Hawaii. It's amazing that you guys get the time away together, too! I think yearly vacations are essential--though we're not good about sticking to that rule. 

AFM, I got blood drawn yesterday for estradiol and day 3 FSH. I know it's silly, but I'm nervous about the results! I know that the FSH level can indicate how many eggs or their quality or ability to mature, etc., and I'm scared my OB will call and say that I don't have eggs or they are not good quality or something. My OH asked me to relax and cross that bridge if we come to it, and it's not likely that we will. He's the positive one, lol, but I'm working on it! I really grew up as a sort of pragmatic pessimist--like, if I can imagine the worst case scenario and then decide how I'd deal with it, I'll be OK! That hasn't brought me anything positive, however, in my older years, and I'm really, really working on being more positive and worrying less.


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## countrygirl86

Pino6161 said:


> SashiMimi--- Your mother's story is inspiring, and it puts hope in my heart. I am glad you will be enjoying your birthday. I am so sorry about AF, on to trying again. I hope that your Mom is right. Have fun either way!! I am jealous LOL. The closest I have done for traveling is when I was 15 and me and my family drove from Arizona to Buffalo, New York, fun I guess but after a week with 3 siblings and a motor home things can get tense LOL. Make sure you take lot's of pictures.
> 
> Sleey Owl--- This month will hopefully bring better things, with out the Super Moon haunting us.
> 
> Lauren--- The long haul is tough, but I agree. When we finally get our BFP, and into the 2nd trimester, we will have the silver lining in view. I had a friend who just got pregnant after trying for a while, and she said something that I can't stop thinking about it. She said that she was happ that she was having a baby, but after trying so hard she thinks that maybe people that are TTC don't want a baby, they just want the pregnancy. I almost punched her in the face. But do you guys think there is any truth in that? Personally, I don't think so, but it kind of left this nagging feeling in me. IDK
> 
> Preg_Pilot--- My fingers are crossed for the witch not showing up. I have done a lot of research on the cervix, and I check mine regularly, they say that yes, in pregnancy the cervix is high and hard, but I have heard a lot of people get pregnant, and their cervix isn't really low, but they could still feel it, but it was hard. IDK if we can put a lot of faith in the cervical position. Either way good luck!!!
> 
> lalinda--- Welcome to the group. I haven't been here very long, but everyone here is great, and very supportive!!! The one and only thing you can do is make sure to have sex while ovulating, and then keep your fingures crossed. I know. It sucks.
> 
> Treasured--- I think you are blessed with short periods, and not really cramping. I truelly believe that everyones cycle, and body is different. Your short LP might be the cause of short cycles. That way it all equals out. I agree about Thor, he is seriously my type LOL. My husband just gave me the look LOL, but then again he says the same thing about Iron Man's girlfriend LOL.
> 
> So it looks like my monitor isn't going to gett here in time for this cycle. It sucks. Last night was another long night due to a terrible stomach ache and vomiting. If I wasn't on my period I would look at it as a sign. IDK it's frustrating. My husband got off a little early, and I enjoyed our time together.

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Lauren - It makes sense that doctors sometimes need a little pressure from us to get moving, they see so many patients that a quick 15 minute appointment makes it tough to get deep into something. I'm glad you're getting it all sorted out too! My doctor is good, I haven't had a whole lot to see him for except the regular paps and stuff but he is genuinely caring. How is yours on a personal level? Glad you enjoyed the NTNP! I'd talked to DH about SMEP before we started and he agreed but then I think he forgot and it just worked out anyway, until last week lol this is a super long cycle! I think it works well though and am going to get back on track today.

Sleepy - sorry to hear about AF. How did your half marathon go? That's so exciting!

Sashimi - your story helps for sure! DH has a history of good medical luck too so I try to think that follows him around too! Sorry to hear of your BFN, glad you have your trip to focus on! When we went away in February it was a welcome distraction! I'd love to go to Hawaii someday so I'm excited to hear all about it. How long are you there for?

Pino - sorry you are having a tough time with AF, hope your monitor makes it soon! I was curious about those but decided to just try OPKs first. What a confusion they are though! 

Preg_pilot - I haven't had a chance to watch the rest but I like how he presents it all in a comical fashion! 

Welcome lalinda! I recommend charting your temps, that is a good start. Just buy a basal body thermometer and check your temp first thing in the morning before getting up and you can use a site like fertilityfriend.com to keep track. It's very useful!

treasured - how long is your LP? You may want to go to your doc, I don't know what's a normal period in terms of flow, mine usually vary each month. And like Pino said, each woman is different too (ugh). 

I got some pictures of the supermoon, I'll try to post this afternoon! The supermoon didn't bring me a super O :haha: but it did bring me a little niece! Our weekend was overtaken with hospital visits and watching our nephew but well worth it! So still waiting to O lol but I have a couple of questions for you ladies. I temped first thing this morning but my mouth was a little dry and my temp was 97.9, I decided to temp again about 5 minutes later (I hadn't gotten up yet) and my temp was 97.6! So I thought I'd do it again after another 5 and it was 97.8. Which temp would you say I should use? Regardless, they are all pre-O temps for me. Question 2 - I'd been doing zumba once a week since the beginning of April and drinking decaf green tea since late March, any ideas if that could have caused the delayed O and cycles? Grasping for straws here lol


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## countrygirl86

I also meant to comment on the wanting to be pg, not have a baby comment lol Right now I feel like I'm just wanting to make the baby, I haven't put a whole lot of thought into actually putting a baby in my life and how that will change us but when I held my niece on the weekend I just felt "I can do this" and it made me want it a little stronger. Once I get pg then I can figure out the rest but for now I guess I'm a little guilty of wanting to see the BFP and having the bump then I can get excited for the actual baby later lol I don't want to get my hopes up too high I spose.


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## lauren26

country! I would love to see those pics... :)

I do think my doc is caring on a personal level--she is just a little awkward! She was an OBGYN on an army base before coming to Boulder--she went from a very conservative atmosphere to a very emotional, open environment. Boulder is also pretty woo-woo in comparison; she probably didn't have to deal with questions about acupuncture & herbs or progesterone cream or positive thinking before, lol.

It does look sort of like your body keeps trying to O but doesn't, since you have patches of wet CM and then dry. You had a thermal shift last month, so it looks like you O-ed, but it wasn't a full cycle so hard to tell! When you go to your appt I would bring the chart with you somehow and show it to the doc. I think the chart will provide them with info on how to proceed with any testing. It's possible that the new exercise routine could be delaying O. Are you very stressed or very thin? It could be those, too, if you are. I know that delayed O is sometimes due to stress. I hope you get some answers soon! I know it must be frustrating not to know what's going on.


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> Preg_Pilot--- My fingers are crossed for the witch not showing up. I have done a lot of research on the cervix, and I check mine regularly, they say that yes, in pregnancy the cervix is high and hard, but I have heard a lot of people get pregnant, and their cervix isn't really low, but they could still feel it, but it was hard. IDK if we can put a lot of faith in the cervical position. Either way good luck!!!

I read some more about the cervix position, and it differs between women. Some women feel the change from day 1, in others it can take up to 6 weeks :)


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## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> preg - Did you test today?? I soooo want to hear!

I haven´t tested yet.
I´ll be testing on thursday, cause that´s the only time I´ll be home alone.
I don´t think I would be able to hide my squeals of happiness if I tested with my mom at home. (or my foul mood in case of a negative).


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## lxb

Okay~ Just caught up with 4 pages of updates!

Sashimi - I just got your PM and will send you email soon~ and of course not! I just hope I can be a help~~ :hugs: for BFN! Hope you'll bring a little "souvenir" back with ya from Kauai~~~~

Country - Yep! SMEP is definitely fun~ :happydance: How is it going with you? Don't think zumba/green tea could cause delayed O. I'm only awared that flu/sickness/stress could cause delayed in O. Just checked your chart and hope that is a pre-o dip! SuperO! :dance: 

Pino - Eww.. rat! Hate rats! Oh, we saw the Avengers over the weekend too! It definitely has its funny moments~~~ Loving the HULK!

Preg_pilot - Just saw your ticker!! Yep, everyone is different. Hoping for your BFP!!!

lalinda - welcome~ :wave: We're all in the same boat. TTC can be frustrating. Do you know your cycle pretty well? when you O?

Supermoon was awesome! But too bad my camera doesn't its justice! :(


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## preg_pilot

countrygirl86 said:


> Preg_pilot - I haven't had a chance to watch the rest but I like how he presents it all in a comical fashion!

Yea. Quite fun to watch, but a tad long. Need to watch in increments :)


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## Pino6161

One of those days. Word LOl.

So period is officially over, and my monitor isn't here so I am kinda irritated. I think I will take this month off. I havebeen getting really overwhelmed, but I am afraid that if I take the moonth off, I will lose my chances. I mean hell this could be the month, and if I don't try I will miss it. I know sounds stupid. Anyways, onto my 25th cycle.


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## countrygirl86

Here's my supermoon pics, it was very bright but I didn't think it was overly big! 

Lauren, that would be a change to go from an army base to the general population! I think its common for doctors to have a little trouble with 'bedside manner'. That's great you already got blood taken! It's one thing to get to the testing stage but another to be waiting to hear the results. I definitely rather prepare for the worst too, it's easier to not be disappointed that way. I have a strange feeling you do have SOME eggs though lol I'm not overly stressed no, just the normal daily stresses. Definitely not too thin lol I'm in a safe BMI range. I'll definitely take my charts with me to the doc, I have a feeling he'll just be referring me elsewhere anyway. 

lxb - I'm hoping it's a pre-O dip too! How are things with you?

preg_pilot - how did you hear of those videos?

Pino - yay for AF being gone! She came in like a tornado but glad she's gone just as quickly. If you want to take this month off, take it off. A lot of ladies throw in a NTNP cycle here and there and I'm sure it leads to a lot of babies too!
 



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## treasured

Is supermoon an American thing? youve all been talking about it but I dont know what it is hehe! Ive once seen an orange moon. weird! Im gonna make a monthly period chart tonight and maybe start my journal... you all have to stalk! haha so im not a loner! :) 

country- I went to the docs for my smear test a month ago and asked my nurse about LP but she didnt even know what it was and said it wouldnt matter? do you think i should see a more suited doctor like a GYN or somthing? xx


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## preg_pilot

countrygirl86 said:


> preg_pilot - how did you hear of those videos?

You know... I honestly can´t remember.
Probably from one of those sites I browse every day with funny pictures, or possibly a thread on BnB.


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## treasured

you guyyysss :) fancy subbing to my journal... I need some supporters so I dont just look like a crazy person obsessing alone hehe!

https://www.babyandbump.com/ttc-jou...reasureds-ttc-journey-begining-cycle-8-a.html

bought some OPKS today so gonna start using them on CD 12 i think, however me and OH are going to get BDing every two days from wed. Trying the SMEP this cycle :)! 
Love everyone tonight :) !! hope everyone has a wee smile tonight atleast! xxxx


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## SleepyOwl

Pregpilot - Can't wait for you to test - hoping its wonderful news so we can all celebrate :)

Pino - Glad AF came and went quickly. Now you can get to the business or to the NTNP...whichever you decide!

Lauren - It's so hard not to worry, especially as we get older. The older I get, the more worried I become!! I really wouldn't worry about not having any eggs though - pretty sure you got some in there girl! When do you get the results from your test back? 

Half marathon went well as in I finished without passing out along the side of the course. I count that as a huge success. Waiting for AF to start AS USUAL. So sick of this happening last month and now this month. I have the spotting. My temps are dropping, but no cramps, no AF yet. Really irritating because I can't get on my BFP plan of attack unless AF hurries up and gets here.


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## Pino6161

Sleepy---Congrats on the marathon!! I'm not sure whether to hope for your AF, of the BFP LOL. I just hope you get what you want!!!


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## SleepyOwl

At this point I would take either...although I'm sure the BFP would be just a BIT more exciting :)


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## SashimiMimi

Pino you brought up an interesting point about pregnancy vs baby. I never thought of it that way, but I know I want the whole package--the nine months, everything that goes along with it and then feel that baby in my arms. Maybe some women don't think that far ahead, because it is a huge change. I just can't imagine a life without children. I've always felt my purpose is to be a mom and I refuse to give up the fight.

Lauren, I know your test results are going to be fine. For me, finding the thyroid issue is the best thing that ever happened. I haven't felt this good ever, I'm not tired all the time, I sleep like a normal person, I'm not anxious anymore. For years I was taking prescription sleeping meds and anti anxiety meds, this whole time it was my thyroid. So you never know what they will reveal, just trust in the process and know your questions will be answered soon.

country, great moon pics! The ones I took were blurry, but it was definitely bright in our part of the world. Let us know what happens with your testing with the doctor!! If your OH has had lots of medical luck then the lucky streak is bound to continue!!

Sleepy, congrats on doing the marathon. My SIL got really into marathons while she was TTC for 3 years. It was a great distraction for her and maybe it helped with the process!

As for me, AF came today. This is the first time since being on the pill that I've had a 28 day cycle. I O'd early because of the fertility meds and so i guess I shouldn't be surprised that AF came early too. Still no sore boobs though... What's going on with me?

So today is CD1 which means I'll go back to the clinic on Wednesday and start the whole cycle monitoring process over again. My dad thinks BFP hasn't happened because I am not thinking positively enough. He is really into the book and movie the Secret and The Power of Now, but it's so hard for me not to feel discouraged.

I'm already looking at the calendar and seeing now that my cycle has shifted that my window will totally fall in line with our Hawaii trip. So am I automatically assuming that the third IUI will fail as well?? My mom even said she had a "feeling" about Hawaii and even suggested I skip treatments this month. But I said if I don't go for it I'll never know. On the other hand, I think they only do so many IUIs befor suggesting IVF and I am no where near being ready for that. 

What a process... Sometimes I wake up and can't believe we are going through all of this stuff with the fertility doctor and that it's now almost been 1 year of TTC. When my SIL was going through all her IUIs and struggles, I never dreamed it would be me as well.

So my question of the day is how do you stay positive. How do you really believe the BFP is going to happen? The nurses at my clinic keep telling me I have to really believe it. And I'm always like Well... I guess we will see. It's tough and I feel like I'm obsessed with TTC and I can't stop reading infertility blogs!!!


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## lauren26

Sleepy - Eeee! I'm sure I have eggs, too. I called the lab to see if they had the results. I am a little irritated with my OB right now. She agreed to order the tests on Friday (for me to go on Sunday for blood draw), and forgot. I waited for an hour and a half at the lab, finally got blood drawn but the tech there said, 'Oh, she forgot to order the tests, we will call her on Monday and ask for them.' Then I called around noon today to see if they had gotten the tests ordered and they had not, so I called my doc's nurse. She took care of it, but now says that they were testing for something slightly different than my OB said. For some reason this all really annoyed me! In her defense, I know my doc was super busy on Friday. Still. Irritating. So the lab gave me the results but I don't know how to interpret them. I know that the FSH and LH are in the normal range, but don't know how the numbers work together. Thyroid is OK, which is good. I wondered about that. Anyway, the results are in but my doc hasn't called me yet to talk about them. I know I sound very impatient, but I kind of thought my OB knew that I was feeling really ready for the info, and she didn't call. Hmmm. I am sure she will call tomorrow. At least I hope so!

preg- You testing tomorrow??

country - Those are rad super moon pics!! It was sooo bright. 

treasured - The moon was the closest it will be to earth all year, so when it rose it looked really huge, and then later on became very bright!


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## lauren26

Sashimi - Posting at the same time! My FIL is the head of a gigantic, non-denominational, New Thought church here in Colorado. They are all about affirmative prayer and positive thinking. I am SO on board with that--I feel like it's true that what we hold in mind can manifest. That said, it has been difficult for me not to put a ton of pressure on myself to think my way into my perfect life when things aren't working out the way I'd hoped. This has been a real source of conflict for me over the past year! Recently, I saw a clip from a lecture my spiritual teacher gave (not my FIL, someone else :)). This guy talks about affirming, intention, etc. too, but this particular lecture was on surrender. He said that people are always trying to pray against the divine plan, the synchronicity of everything. And that there are infinite factors affecting every situation--we can't always know why something does or doesn't happen. The lecture was about surrendering to the divine plan, trusting that we are in the best possible hands and that every circumstance is set up to bring us the best opportunities for becoming greater in awareness and consciousness. That may sound woo woo, and may not be helpful, but I wanted to share because hearing that perspective was such a relief to me, and I am so so familiar with both sides of the positive thinking.


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren, I knew someone else was posting at the same time as me. It said 2 members were on nd I had a hunch it was you!!

I love everything you said about positive thinking. I'm all for it and totally believe in it. I cried when I watched the Secret, I'm just having trouble believing it deep down inside. Like I say I know it's going to happen, but then after we do the IUI for example I get this fearful doubt nagging at the back of my head.

I used to read a lot of spiritual books. When I was a kid I was obsessed with the idea of reincarnation, and karma and I think I was born a little woo-woo myself. I'm really open to lots of ideas and perspectives. One of the best things I read in one of my books many years ago was an acronym for the word F.E.A.R: False Evidence Appearing Real. So I'm applying it to TTC there is absolutely no evidence that we will continue to fail. I'm just a worry wart.

I downloaded that Spirit Babies book I mentioned many a post ago and it's actually quite good. I've done so much research into the science and physical part of TTC, I've neglected the spiritual side and I feel I need that right now. 

On a side note, I have one more "story from my mom" to share. It's on the topic of everything happening for a reason. Last week one of the dogs hurt her back. My mom drove them to the park for a walk and decided to take a turn super slow to protect the dog from tilting in car and hurting her back even more. She had visibly been in discomfort during the walk, so my mom was being extra cautious.

Well at this turn, someone ran the light and came zooming through the intersection. Because my mom was going slow she was able to stop and avoid the car. Had she been going normal speed she would have been hit. When she got home the dog suddenly seemed to be fine and out of pain. So, if the dog hadnt hurt her back, my mom wouldn't have crawled through the turn and would have gone a normal speed with some idiot running a red light. It was a reminder for me that everything does happen for a reason, we just always don't know why.

So as frustrating as it is, there is a reason we haven't gotten our bfps... Yet!! But I am really going to start believing that they are all just around the corner!!


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## lxb

Sashimi - I, too, am a strong believer with "everything happened for a reason" Sometimes it's just hard to look for that reason. It's hard to be positive sometimes when you want something so badly and hard to think of a 'positive reason'. So glad everything is okay with your mom :)

we all have the same goal here. and we should appreciate this journey as hopefully it will not only make us closer to our significant other but also grow stronger as a person... also be a better parent.


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## lauren26

Sashimi, I love the FEAR acronym--there really isn't a reason to believe that we won't get our bfps just because we haven't yet! Most women who have gotten theirs have gone through cycles where they didn't. So really, the evidence is to the contrary of what we believe in a way, lol. My OH just finished a fear of flying class and one of the things the class worked on a lot was cognitive distortions--ways of thinking that are not true or unhelpful. The one I notice I do the most is projecting the past or present onto the future--so a bfn this cycle means a bfn forever. It's pretty unconscious, but now that I'm trying to notice it I see that I do it quite a bit. I am totally a worry wart, too!

I have done a lot, lot, lot of visioning and imagining around being pregnant, getting the bfp, and being a mother in the last month or two. Whether it will help me get my bfp has yet to be revealed, but it's definitely helped my mental state. As I said previously, I am sort of a closet pessimist (it may be more obvious to others, though, lol), and it's completely unhelpful. It's one of the hardest habits I've ever tried to change! Luckily for me, my OH is super positive and happy--and he's been through a lot in his life. He helps to balance me and help me practice positivity. It's actually only been very recently that I realized how pessimistic I can get. Maybe I should start envisioning myself as a super optimist, lol!

I have read a lot of spiritual books, too, and have historically been an Oprah addict. I just need to be careful not to be hard on myself when what I want doesn't come into being--sometimes it takes a while, and sometimes it's not meant to happen! I do think that we are all meant to get our BFPs. But in hindsight, I'm glad that a few choice things that I wanted never happened! I love the story about your mom and the dogs!! I love when that sort of thing happens and gets noticed. 

I also get the nagging doubt. I had it come up really strongly during my last acupuncture session. It was a really yucky feeling and I just tried to avoid it. The feeling stuck around so I really tried to pay attention to it, and found that I was imagining this empty, dark womb that would never be filled (woo woo alert!). This was the moment I realized that I tend to project negativity or a bad outcome onto the unknown, and started really paying attention to the places I do that consistently. 

Anyway, I'm glad you brought up the positive thinking! Our mental/spiritual state is the thing that affects us most while TTC!


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## countrygirl86

Sashimi - that's amazing about your mom! She must have felt like superwoman after lol it really does point to everything happening for a reason though. I believe there are things we can't change (like how long we TTC for before that BFP) so just try to make the best of it and it will come when it should. Thank you for sharing your stories, they're great motivators! I think the best way to stay positive is to keep in mind you've had all the testing done and physically it makes sense in time sperm and egg will meet and you will have your BFP. If you picture yourself in 5 years, you can probably see a little one (or two) right? I try to take myself out of the right now and think that in a few years it will be a reality. This is just the journey to get there!

Lauren - Your OB sounds a little frustrating... hope she gets her shiz together so you can get the results and answers and figure out if there's something wrong! You aren't being impatient, if she's already messed up you want to make sure she is giving you the best care and not missing anything!

Sleepy - I've still got my fingers crossed for you, either way let's get this show on the road! Do you think you'll try SMEP again next month?

treasured - I'll be stalking ya :thumbup:


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## lxb

Oo.. F.E.A.R. ... I like!! :)

lauren - it's great that your OH is so positive. I too can be a pessimist! DH & I were talking yesterday and he told me that I always tend to think of the worst possible scenarios. Sometimes I feel like if I'm prepared for the worst possible scenarios, then I can handle anything that actually comes my way! But too often, I let the thought of the 'worst' affects me emotionally and overwhelm by such emotion. The most important thing is to have self awareness. When you're aware of your emotions (positive/negative) then you can think logically and not emotionally. I still have much to work on in that department~~ :blush:


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## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> Sleepy - Eeee! I'm sure I have eggs, too. I called the lab to see if they had the results. I am a little irritated with my OB right now. She agreed to order the tests on Friday (for me to go on Sunday for blood draw), and forgot. I waited for an hour and a half at the lab, finally got blood drawn but the tech there said, 'Oh, she forgot to order the tests, we will call her on Monday and ask for them.' Then I called around noon today to see if they had gotten the tests ordered and they had not, so I called my doc's nurse. She took care of it, but now says that they were testing for something slightly different than my OB said. For some reason this all really annoyed me! In her defense, I know my doc was super busy on Friday. Still. Irritating. So the lab gave me the results but I don't know how to interpret them. I know that the FSH and LH are in the normal range, but don't know how the numbers work together. Thyroid is OK, which is good. I wondered about that. Anyway, the results are in but my doc hasn't called me yet to talk about them. I know I sound very impatient, but I kind of thought my OB knew that I was feeling really ready for the info, and she didn't call. Hmmm. I am sure she will call tomorrow. At least I hope so!
> 
> preg- You testing tomorrow??
> 
> country - Those are rad super moon pics!! It was sooo bright.
> 
> treasured - The moon was the closest it will be to earth all year, so when it rose it looked really huge, and then later on became very bright!

Nope, testing thursday, almost there :)


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## Pino6161

What does F.E.A.R stand for?


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## lauren26

country - YES she is so frustrating!! I really can't go anywhere else in town that will be better, though. It's shocking because there are sooooooo many pregnant women where I live, you'd think there would be more OB practices.

I did finally hear from the OB after calling again this morning to check in. She was like, it's normal, I don't know where you want to go from here. I think she had forgotten that we would do progesterone levels later this month, so I mentioned it. She said we could do it but that it 'didn't matter that much'. ???? And then I asked, just to really get more info and put my mind at ease, if she, as a doc, had seen women with spotting issues who got pregnant just fine. She totally answered around the question. Oh, and before this she jumped to how couples go to infertility specialists to speed up the process, or to get more testing. This was after she'd offered earlier last week to do whatever testing I wanted. I don't know what to do, ladies! We don't have a fertility clinic anywhere near here, and if we did it would be out of pocket pay. Should I just settle and be patient? I am very frustrated with my doc's lack of interest. I mean, maybe she just feels like, oh the bloods were normal so I'm in no hurry to do anything further?

lxb - You are right (as I'm spouting worrisome and negative thoughts!), when we are aware of our thought process it's so much easier to choose better thoughts. I struggle with this, but we do have choices, and it's my responsibility alone to maintain awareness of my thoughts.


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## SashimiMimi

Oh boy Lauren, what a tough predicament. There is nothing worse than a doctor who has a meh attitude. If it were me, I don't settle for anything, nor am I patient, so I wouldn't shrug my shoulders and back off. I'm lucky because my family doctor will sit with you for an hour even if you have something as simple as a hangnail. She is a great listener, which is rare and I refuse to settle for less. She was on mat leave all last year and I had some issues that her replacement refused to deal with. It was like unless I wanted a prescription for something, I had no business being there.

Is there anyone else you can see? I would start researching and see what your options are. There has to be others in your area who consulted a fertility specialist. Get a quote on how much it would cost and then weigh your options. For me personally, even though we haven't had results YET it's been worth every penny so far. Worth it not only for my thyroid health, but for the fact that we aren't left wondering if something is wrong. Until then Lauren, don't take no for an answer with your doctor. It's great that SHE is not concerned about your fertility health, but if YOU are she needs to listen.

I'm not doing so well on the positive thinking front. Every time I think about our most recent failed IUI I get completely choked up. I even caught myself crying at my desk, then again on the streetcar. I don't know why this second failed attempt is getting to me so much, I actually feel like I'm grieving something I never even had in the first place. 

Maybe because I'm having a rough week at work and it's only Tuesday. Tomorrow will likely be the same with an added fertility clinic visit at the crack of dawn. Sigh!!! :)


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## lauren26

Sashimi, Thanks for all that you said! I feel very supported and encouraged by you and the rest of these ladies :) I am not patient and don't like to settle, either! So I won't! Lol. I did start researching. I got discouraged as many practices are full and not accepting new patients, but I can start looking out of town, too. There are a few OBs in a neighboring town who sound good and who specialize in RE and/or fertility (I will not write infertility!), so I will be making some calls tomorrow. I just realized that if I feel frustrated with my doc now I'll probably feel VERY frustrated with her when I'm pregnant! Thank you for encouraging me to seek other advice. You're right--I'm her client, essentially, and I need to feel satisfied with her service. 

I'm sorry you're having a rough one! It's completely natural for the sadness to well up. I think it's sometimes a balance of allowing the natural emotions to arise and offering them space and also countering them with positive thoughts. The two can exist together! I feel like emotions show up to inform us or point us in a certain direction. 

Pino - FEAR was the acronym Sashimi wrote about in another post: "False Evidence Appearing Real". How are you doing? Getting ready to BD it up, or did you guys decide to take a break this month? I know you mentioned that you were considering it. 

Sleepy - Girl! I don't know where you are today, but I'm freaking out in anticipation of your testing! Excitedly! Again, I don't want to build any hope that may be dashed, but I honestly will be shocked--shocked--if that chart and your late AF don't mean that you're pg this month. I hope this is it for you!


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## SleepyOwl

Hey y'all! Here I am in the flesh and by flesh I mean online. AF came today so definitely no BFP for me this cycle. No worries though. I am going to go all out again this month and get that BFP. Me and OH are in it to win it. 

Sashimi - I loved your post and I feel like I have definitely lost sight of the spiritual and emotional side of all this. Well at least haven't been tending to it as I should. Amazing story about your mother and the dogs. I am glad they are both alright!

I really have been trying to be more positive about this whole TTC thing, but I think I might really try to start doing these affirmations and speaking having a baby/getting pregnant into my life (that sounds weird, but whatever). We were always taught growing up that there was power in words so I am really going to start practicing that. 

Lauren - That does sound frustrating about your OB. Sashimi is right. Definitely don't settle. This is your body, your soon to be BFP and eventual pregnancy. I hope you make some headway with new docs tomorrow! 

Country - By the time you O, I will be starting up SMEP again. We can just be the SMEP sisters and one of us will keep it going til we get our BFPs!! Lol!

Pregpilot - Keeping everything crossed for you! Hopefully you caught some baby dust for this cycle!!


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## Pino6161

We decided that we don't want to take time off, just cause if this is our month, we don't want to pass it by.

So my birth mom's sister is the only one I have told about my TTC. I found out that she tried for years to get pregnant, and it took 3 years between each kid. It gives me some hope. I started getting so disappointed because my dad's family pops kids out like candy, and my mom's family does as well. (My dad left my birth mom after me and my brother were born. He married my Mom when I was 6 y/o. So she is who I consider Mom) Anyways, this gave me a little hope that my time will come.


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## lauren26

Well, Sleepy, I'm all in this month, too! OH agreed to SMEP, and this is my third month on a gazillion supplements and vitamins, so hopefully that'll help, too! Sounds like you have a good attitude about it all.

Pino - It's always reassuring to hear those miracle stories :) I always thought my mom took a year but recently learned that she only took 3 months and said she almost gave up after those 3! I was like, are you kidding?? I thought I was impatient.


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- I know what you mean, Ireally thought I was just a random person out of my familythat had problems concieving. I don't know my birth mom's family at all, her sister is the only one I have contact with, and that is just recently. It does make me feel better though knowing that I am not alone in all of this. You guys are ALL great, and supportive but when I know someone I am related to has had issues, it makes me feel like maybe I am not the random, odd one out. And 3 months? I'm not sure what to say LOL. I am an impatient person as well LOL.


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## treasured

Aloha ladies! Gosh its so hard to keep up with these threads haha! I LOVE reading through them all though! 

Sleepy- Sorry AF got you! BUT I am in the same frame of mind, Im going to really go for it this month, with positive thinking! Got my OPKS at the ready and lets get our sexytime on!!! hehe! 

lauren- have you started OPKS yet? im so confused as to when everyones O'ing lol! i agree that you should totally try to find a doc that you are comfortable with and is suiting you the best! I for sure would not be settling with the nurse I first had that looked at me as if I was insane the minute I mentioned I was TTC. 

preg- whennnnnnn are you testing? Im SO excited, we neeeed a BFP this month! 

pino- I was thinking a lot about your preg vs baby thing!! I am so excited to be able to feel the baby growing inside me and the thought of creating somthing soo special would be amazing! however, i have thought about every stage of having a child as well, imagining taking my child to their first day of school, helping them with classes, every night puting off their light. These are the thoughts that get me through each day because I know how long term it will be when my baby arives so as long as I know that I dont mind that its taking a little longer than I thought!! 

Supermoon looks amazing from the pictures! OH said hed seen it but I didnt even know about it! :(. hope one of you wished for us all :) 
Im feeling quite good today, and I have soo many more plans ahead of me that I didnt even remember about haha. Only 2 weeks until my holiday and Im getting extremlely excited. Although I wish I was O'ing during the time Im there for luck but unfortunately it will be the week before! Atleast it will make my TWW a LOT less stressful while im lying on a beach!

How is everyone feeling? So glad Ive got all you guys to talk to :) xxx


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## lauren26

treasured - I haven't started but I think I will if I have enough cheapies left! I am only on CD6, but last night I got what felt like O pains starting already...with any luck I'll O early and get this show on the road! Not likely, though, lol. I think it's hard to O early.


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## preg_pilot

treasured - I´ll be testing in the morning. 16 hours or thereabouts until I have an answer for ya :)


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## lxb

preg_pilot said:


> treasured - I´ll be testing in the morning. 16 hours or thereabouts until I have an answer for ya :)

Can't wait~!!! :dance:


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## countrygirl86

lauren - did your OB say at what point she would do more testing? Like would it take more time or does she just want you to wait it out forever? I agree with Sashimi, if this will be your doctor through the whole pregnancy process, she may not be THE ONE lol Wow your comment on negative and positive thoughts is bang on for me, I find myself feeling sad or frustrated about it all but try to point those thoughts/feelings towards the positives, that we have appointments set up and are headed in the right direction. 

Sashimi - sorry to hear you are having bouts of sadness about the IUIs. It must be difficult to know you are doing so much and it hasn't happened yet. Are you doing another round before you go away?

Sleepy - sorry to hear about AF but glad you aren't letting her get you down! In it to win it is awesome lol SMEP sisters sound perfect! Hopefully we'll get those BFPs the same month!

Pino - happy to hear you came to the conclusion together. Hopefully your monitor will help out!

treasured - your 2ww will fly by on your trip! That's the best place to be!

preg_pilot - I'll be rushing to my computer in the morning to find out the results! Any symptoms?

I'm on CD30 and am still waiting to O lol but I'm not stressing about it cause there's nothing I can do. I've decided not to test with OPKs unless I feel like that's the day as I wasn't getting anywhere with them and started to feel like I was wasting them. My positive spin is that it's giving DH and I a lot more opportunity to BD for fun! :happydance: Happy Hump Day everyone!


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## lxb

country - I hope you O soon~~ and get that BFP!

sleepy - SMEP sisters! :happydance: :happydance:

Happy Hump Day to everyone as well~~


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## Pino6161

Quick question for everyone..... I am looking at fertilityfriend.com cause I am learning more about the bbt charting and I was curious if anyone has upgraded their account to VIP. Is it even worth it? Should I not bother??


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## lxb

I remember I had free VIP when I first signed up. I personally don't think it's worth it as I only use it to track/chart my temperature.

The difference I can recall having VIP memebership was:
1. You can track your symptoms and have it show on your charts (like sore boobs, bloated, etc.) whereas regular membership you have to go into the individual entry to see what you "comment" what you've marked as your symptoms.
2. You can do chart overlay from your previous cycles. Maybe help you see your cycle pattern better?
3. You can do search on other people's charts that are similar to yours


----------



## SashimiMimi

Ladies, I'm writing an emergency post from work! Just when I thought there wouldn't be anymore TTC surprises, something completely comes out of left field. I met with my doctor today and he seemed generally very disappointed that the last IUI didn't take. He feels that my lining is too thin to hold on to a pregnancy. I know he raised these concerns last time, and on the day of the IUI my lining was on the low side of being thick enough to proceed with the IUI.

I had fully expected to go in and maybe get a higher dose of the femara that I took last time, but the doctor felt it was in my best interest to do injectibles. So for the next 10 days I have to shove a giant needle in my stomach. The injectibles will not only mimic what the femara did in terms of creating good-quality eggs, it will also thicken the lining so that a pregnancy can hold on. 

Here are the downsides: The injectibles might work "too well" and therefore release 10 or more eggs. In this case, they will cancel the IUI or we can opt to go straight into IVF. Also, my medical insurance does not cover fertility drugs like this and the needles are $100 a day for at least 10 days. ($1,000!) The money doesn't concern us, but I don't want to spend hundreds of dollars on something that might be cancelled. Also, I don't even want to mention IVF because I am so not ready to go down that road. 

I really wish my husband had been at the appointment, because I basically had to make a decision on the spot whether to proceed with the injectibles. I decided to go for it because I really trust my doctor and feel that if he thinks this is the best route, then we should go for it. 

From there, I went in a room with a nurse who gave me a lesson on how the needles work. She had me inject myself in the stomach and it took me about 15 minutes to work up the courage. I don't have a fear of needles, but when you are doing it yourself it's really intimidating. I felt like I was going to pass out, but I did it and felt pretty proud.

After the appointment I called my husband and I think I was in such a state of shock, I actually don't remember the conversation. I fact, I have been on autopilot all morning. My computer at work blew up and I am working from a laptop that contains none of my files while I'm in the middle of a deadline! So, I decided to take a breather from this stressful day and turn to my TTC friends. 

Ladies, I hope that none of your TTC journies ever go down this route. While I am completely glad we have been working with our fertility specialist and have his help and support, my journey is starting to terrify me. My doctor also suggested I get on the wait list for a laparoscopy--exploratory keyhole surgery to see if anything could be wrong that the basic testing didn't pick up. AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Country: To answer your question, yes I guess I am doing another round before the trip.

Lauren: I mentioned to my doctor that I have a cat. I was not tested for that... toxoplasma or whatever it is that cats can give you, can't remember the name. So he is going to run a test for that when I go back to the clinic this weekend. I'm sure if I had whatever that was I'd have symptoms? I'm not well-versed on the topic of cats and TTC, even though I SHOULD be considering we have a cat. 

Thanks for letting me have a huge mid-day vent session. I'm having one of those days where everything seems kinda surreal. Xoxxo


----------



## lxb

:hugs: Sashimi.... I'm so sorry to hear about this part of your journey. I'm very proud of you as well for injecting the needle onto yourself (I think I would've scream/can't bare to watch if I was to do that to myself -- not a good idea to 'not watch'). I hope those gold medal :spermy: will be smart and catch those eggies! Twins? Triplets? More?? :) :)

We're always here for you and happily listen to your vent sessions~


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## Pino6161

SahimiMimi--- I am sorry about the road this has taken. Lets hope that sticking yourself for 10 days will make this your month!!!:hugs: You have tremendous will power. I am terrified of needles LOL. I hope this takes so that you have no more worries!! Keep us updated!!! :hugs:


----------



## treasured

sashimi I am proud of you! I have no fear of needles either but I think it would be completely differnt having to do it to yourself!! I hope they wont cancel your IUI but maybe if theres 10 eggs in there OHs spermies can take their pick of the hottest one ;), hehe! But really though, so sorry your having to go down this road and all these things that youve had to deal with! When did it occur to you to get somthing checked out? cause I thought that you had to wait atleast a year before being seen by a doctor? Im at cycle 8 and wondering if I should begin the process? Im far to scared though, I dont think anything is wrong but at the same time I think everything is! ahh ! x


----------



## preg_pilot

countrygirl86 said:


> preg_pilot - I'll be rushing to my computer in the morning to find out the results! Any symptoms?

Lots of symptoms actually.
From 2-10DPO I had almost every early pregnancy symptom there could be. It would probably be easier to count the ones I didn´t have.
At 11DPO, everything vanished, except a slight cramp and a backache.
Those slowly got less and less, and today they´re nearly nonexistent.
My boobs hurt like hell today, for about 1-2 hours, though they got better as they day went by. Now they just feel sort of warm and full, and kind of sore. Nothing too bad though.

Oh yeah, and wayyyy more CM than I´ve ever seen in my life.
And tired... oh so tired.


----------



## haribo813

Hello ladies, sorry for absence (a wedding and then friends plus their baby staying for 2 nights!) but they do say it makes the heart fonder! 

I was hoping to find a string of BFP posts but sadly it wasn't to be.

Sorry to hear your news Sashimi, your TTC process is really testing your strength and your patience and luckily you have plenty of both. Amazing work on the needles and this next stage is tricky but you can get through it. I have long suspected that I don't have a thick enough lining-especially after my one-off implantation bleeding a few months back.

Am going to the nurse's tomorrow-what's the best thing to ask for when you're starting out looking into problemos? The blood tests for hormones? Any advice appreciated! Thanks so much, really appreciate all your help. Am having a scan of my ovaries etc on Monday too-finally got the appointment a month on!

Sleepy-sorry AF came to crash your party, glad you're picking yourself up well for this cycle.

Lauren, Pino, lxb, treasured and pregpilot-hope you're all doing well and having good cycles.

Countrygirl - get down on it! I'm coming up to my O this weekend so am glad the couple and their baby have gone as not easy to BD around it all!

I will say also that experience of a baby 24/7 for 3 days showed me how lovely yet relentless it is. OH and I enjoying a night to ourselves and no crying or squealing interrupting our sleep tonight! Will catch up with you all tomorrow eve but desperado for some shut eye now! xxx


----------



## lxb

preg_pilot said:


> countrygirl86 said:
> 
> 
> preg_pilot - I'll be rushing to my computer in the morning to find out the results! Any symptoms?
> 
> Lots of symptoms actually.
> From 2-10DPO I had almost every early pregnancy symptom there could be. It would probably be easier to count the ones I didn´t have.
> At 11DPO, everything vanished, except a slight cramp and a backache.
> Those slowly got less and less, and today they´re nearly nonexistent.
> My boobs hurt like hell today, for about 1-2 hours, though they got better as they day went by. Now they just feel sort of warm and full, and kind of sore. Nothing too bad though.
> 
> Oh yeah, and wayyyy more CM than I´ve ever seen in my life.
> And tired... oh so tired.Click to expand...

sounds great to me!! :thumbup:

:rain:


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## SashimiMimi

Lxb I love your little singing in the rain emoticon!! Also Lxb, Pino, Haribo and Treasured thank you for your supportive words. Was not expecting such an aggressive approach this soon, but hey... I'll go for it if it means my chances are improved!

Lxb- the chances of multiples increase even more with the puregon injections. My neighbor has dreamt on more than one occasion that I have twins and this was before we started TTC. So I keep telling myself that maybe this is all happening because we are meant to have twins!!??

Pino- I felt like such a wimp today. I kept getting really dizzy at the thought of the needles and nearly keeled over. 1 down 10 more to go!

Haribo- yes it seems the magic number for getting checked for TTC issues is 1 year. I couldn't wait that long and got checked at 8 months. As I have mentioned in previous cycles the treatment for the thyroid issue they found has changed my life. I have never felt better. So when you go ask for all the basic blood work that check thyroid, progesterone and all those things. The ultrasound is a good step too. Your OH could get a sperm analysis. We did a test that showed I have hostile CM that doesn't let sperm through... Wish I had known that before I spent 11 years on the pill. These are all basic tests that can help, don't be scared! It's better to check now than wait.

I had planned on going grocery shopping this evening, but it's rainy crappy weather today, I had a stupid day at work and I'm overwhelmed by TTCing. So I think it's going to be a pizza and American Idol night! My SIL highly recommended the book everyone has been talking about TCOYF, so I think I am going to get it this weekend once and for all! I went on th website and looked at the forum. One of the threads were about the most annoying things people say when you're TTC. Ughhh! Reading those just made my blood boil. It doesn't matter where you are the comments to TTCers is all the same! With relax and have fun at the top of the list.


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## lauren26

Oh, Sashimi!! I cannot believe your strength and courage and patience! I am thinking of becoming a nurse so I've been trying to imagine how I could inject someone else--but injecting yourself? I am very, very impressed, and very sorry that you have to do such a thing. Would the docs cancel the IUI if too many eggs were released? Because too many may get fertilized? That is what I understood from what you wrote but correct me if I'm wrong. Is there any way they can monitor the progress and see how many follicles are maturing and ease up on the meds if needed? I don't know anything about this stuff, obviously, but I'm so curious now! I'm so sorry you've had to deal with all of this, Sashimi. The good part is that your docs have been able to pinpoint all of the obstacles and that you and OH are willing and able to pay for such specialized treatment and attention! Those are the blessings. I hope that your ten days of injections pay off--you deserved a BFP before and you most certainly will deserve one after all of that. How did your doctor pinpoint the lining issue? I've never heard of that before. It makes total sense, though. Also, I will be curious to hear about the toxoplasmosis results, and I think it's like you said before--if it was overall a big concern docs would test for it regularly. I wouldn't worry! You've got enough on your plate to worry about for now--my goodness you've had a day :hugs:. And the lap--I've actually felt envious before of women who have gotten it because it seems so helpful, but that's certainly terrifying, too. I'm glad you emergency posted to us! It was a lucky thing you started this thread and we now all have access to such great support ;) Please feel free to continue venting! I wouldn't know what to do in your place--you are an inspiration! I hope your OH is super duper sweet to you tonight, too.

A friend just arrived but I will chat all you other ladies later. :)


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## SleepyOwl

Uggggggh I had this long post I wrote and this stupid computer crashed. Annoying!!

Sashimi - I am so sorry you had to go through all that day. This journey is definitely overwhelming to say the least. I hope there are no more surprises except for a BFP, hehe :) You are being so strong and brave and positive about everything. I really can't imagine anyone handling it better. 

Pregpilot - Your symptoms sound good - esp the increased CM. Good luck girl!

Haribo - Rest up so that you can get to it this weekend. Glad you're back!


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## lauren26

Pino - My favorite thing about the VIP membership is that you can post to and read posts in the forums. I don't spend too much time on there since I have my lovely BnB thread (you all!), but when I have a serious charting question it's really nice to have access to that forum. 

Preg - Those symptoms sound amazing! I can't wait for tomorrow's test result!! You KNOW you have to post pics if/when it's a BFP!

haribo - Hiii! You've had a busy time of it! I am doing well, and only on CD 6 so my cycle is boring at this point, lol. I'm drinking beer while I can! I was off of all alcohol for about 8 months for various reasons, and Boulder (where I live) is famous for its microbreweries, so it's been tough avoiding beer. Anyway, I'm doing well, lol. Where are you at in your cycle?

AFM, ready to SMEP! OH agreed to start on CD10 but I'm sure he wouldn't mind beginning a little earlier...


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## lauren26

Sashimi - I am SO jealous of your pizza night!! That's all I want right now. I may just have to order in...


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks, Lauren!! I'm feeling a lot better this evening. So to answer your question, I will be very closely monitored while doing the injections. They will adjust my does accordingly to avoid the risk of 10+ eggs, but there is still the chance that it could happen. They will refuse to do the IUI because it is just too much of a health risk. So we can opt to cancel or we can proceed with IVF. I'm just going to cross that bridge when we come to it.

I found a YouTube video on how to administer the needle and have it all set up and ready to go in for the morning. I feel like it's more neat, than scary. Amazing how a piece of plastic and some fluid can cost $1,000, but I went into this fertility clinic willing to try anything, so self injections it is. My OH got really into it and wants to do it for me, but something about that though makes me more nervous than doing it myself. So he said he would just watch and offered to come with my to cycle monitoring on Saturday. (I often see husbands following their wives around the clinic and even into the tiny, dark ultrasound rooms! I guess they are just trying to be supportive.)

So I'm feeling confident about the needles. I know I can do it! So as for the lining, last month the day before the IUI my doctor said he was worried my lining was too thin. It was 6mm. The next day it was 7mm and he said that was okay. I guess it's on the low side of normal. I have read on some threads that 9mm is possibly a good place to be, but I will ask my doctor what the target measurement is. I'd rather spend $1000 on needles that will give me a thick lining to safely hold a baby in place, than a few inexpensive pills that do nothing.

I'm curious about the toxoplasmosis test, too, although it is the least of my concerns. Just one more thing to check to be sure. But the lap, now THAT is something I do not want to do. My HSG test was a cinch, but I still reacted as if I was on a roller coaster by throwing my arms up in the air, covering my eyes and screaming. I was still yelling long after they were done. So lap surgery? No thanks. Obviously I'll do it if I have to, but I am even more determined to get my BFP before we even have to cross that bridge. 

I'm starting to feel now more than ever that I do deserve the bfp! OH and I talked about it and we agreed, we are not taking no for an answer and this baby is coming one way or another. 

Well at least my fertility testing helps you guys know what to expect. I don't mind being the group guinea pig because I seem to be doing it all! 

Sleepy, don't you hate when posts disappear from computer crashes? That was the story of my day, but computer problems at work was a good distortion. If I will still off work, I would have sat on the couch and cried.

Country are you sure you haven't Oed? Are you going by OPKs, temps or both? I never managed to temp properly, but it brings me back to the ovulating tap water story and sometimes I don't trust those strips!


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## Pino6161

SashamiMimi--- I am so glad that your husband is very supportive!! You deserve that!! I don't know if I would let mine stick me either LOL. I am glad you are the guinea pig, it does help watching what to expect if things don't work the natural way for us. On the other hand, I am sorry that you have to go through it. You def. deserve that BFP!! Hopefully it works this cycle so you don't have to worry about IVF!!

Lauren--- Hahahad I got pizza too LOL JK. I might just upgrade to the VIP when this one expires. It sounds like it can be worth it. I really want to start taking this all seriously. I have been trying the last 2 years. I started the BBT and got frustrated. I had lost so much hope in TTC, and I really can't afford going to a fertility specialist anymore. The testing that I did have done ran a bunch of tests on me and myhusband. She said I had nothing to worry about, that we had only been TTC a year and sometimes it takes time. So I out alot of faith in it "just happening" Last month I barely started looking in the specific details in TTC. I have tried all of them at one time, but I have decided to do them all, and NOT give up this time.... Sorry about the rant.

Just to get this right CD# is before Oing right? And DPO is after Oing??? Just making sure I understanding all of the terms. And what is SMEP


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## preg_pilot

Tested this morning, got a :bfn:
Will test again on Monday if AF doesn´t show.

@pino6161: CD is cycle day - day one is the first day of AF. and CD26, can sometimes also be DPO - or days past ovulation. CD1 is day one of AF. (auntie flo).
SMEP is sperm meets egg plan, where you :sex: every other day from CD8 until O. 3 days in a row then, a day off and one more day for good measure.


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## lauren26

preg - BFN but no AF?? I think you're still in :)

Pino - Yeah, I mean it's $45 for an entire year, which is cheap! It has been worth it for me just to have access to charting info and to be able to ask questions. I am certainly not a charting pro yet, though I do feel like that site has taught me a lot! 

Sashimi - Technology is amazing! So will you go in daily for monitoring, or just a few times? And LOL--you can literally find tutorials about anything on YouTube! I don't know how I would feel about getting stuck by my OH....it's nice that yours offered, though! It's great, too, that you guys are on the same page and are both willing and ready to stick it out if needed, though hopefully you won't have to. Lol about you throwing your hands up and screaming during the HSG. And I feel you on the lap--the term 'exploratory surgery' always puts me a little on edge. 

ONE more question :) So if the decide to cancel the IUI, will you have to go straight to IVF, or will they do a few more IUIs with you? 

Well ladies, my coffee blend is officially almost completely decaf at this point  I have to have coffee, even if there's only 8mg of caffeine per decaf cup! I've also been trying to get off of sugar--I've read and heard so many times that it's the most detrimental thing to keep in your diet (besides alcohol and cigarettes and loads of caffeine, of course). In addition, sugar plumps me up real, real quick. Since I've stopped it this week, though, I have had a ferocious appetite! I think my body turns on the hunger signal over and over in hopes that I'll just give in and eat a piece of cake, lol. 

How is everyone else?


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## countrygirl86

Sashimi - what a day you had yesterday! Good for you for going through with it and giving yourself the needle! I read somewhere if you have to give yourself needles, the first time you do it you'll feel like a rockstar lol hope it made you feel empowered! As much as it sucks having to go through it and the cost, it's one step closer. Why aren't you ready for IVF? You and Lauren seem to have opposite doctors! What clinic are you going to? I'm starting to get familiar with them though I think we'll be referred to Ottawa since they do satellite monitoring here in Kingston. I want to thank you for making this thread too, it is such a support system and you are definitely the glue! I highly recommend that book too! I suppose I'm not 100% sure I haven't O'd but my temps are still down. I am temping everyday and was using OPKs to verify but have given up on those now lol what kind were you using? I have a feeling this could be an anovulatory cycle judging by how long it's taking.

preg_pilot - they sound like great symptoms, hopefully it's just a tad too soon for the BFP to show up! How are you doing today?

haribo - sounds like you had a nice time with your company, and a good test of what's to come! Good luck catching that egg this weekend!

Sleepy - computers suck lol but without them we wouldn't be able to talk like this so I guess we have to deal! 

lauren - good luck with the SMEP! I think if you can, starting on CD8 is optimal! My DH kind of forgot we were doing it but it worked out for the first couple of weeks anyway, and we're back on track now! Hopefully it works out for you, the odds are good with it :)

Pino, lxb and treasured - hope you are all hanging in there! :hugs:


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## countrygirl86

Oh yea, Pino I am just using the free FF and it's fine for me but I literally just need it for temping so if you want to get more involved with it you may want to upgrade?

Congrats on the decaf lauren! I admit I eat a lot of sugar, I could do completely without salt or fat but I put a spoon of sugar or honey in my 2-3 cups of tea and like a cookie or two and my fruit so I should lay off... ugh...


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## lauren26

Country - Oh, I could never, ever, in a million years give up my honey in my coffee! Lol. I am cutting our refined sugars, but that's about as far as I can go at the moment. I've done it before, many times, so I know it'll get easier, but the first week is rough. I'm pretty much off of refined carbs, but sugars are harder. I don't cut fruit out ever, though I don't eat much of it to begin with. Cookies are the tough ones to avoid. Whole Foods makes a mean vegan chocolate chip cookie (I'm not vegan, but these are good!).


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## treasured

Little bit confused today ladies!! 

So I used my first OPK today (CD 10) and there is a faint line there, like not SUPER faint but obviously not as dark as the control. The last times I used OPKS i didnt get this strenght of line until like CD 13, and it got steadily darker until I got a postive on CD 16. Do you think I could have just ovulated late those two cycles and completly have missed O last month cause I was basing it on that? If thats the case and I'm O'ing earlier than I thought that means I dont have a short LP and it would acctually be like 12-13 days :D!! that would be amazing news :)

Sorry, bit confusing, but basically what Im asking is, do you think it could give me a line even if im not going to ovulate? I was planning on OPKing every 2 days until CD16 but do you think i should do one every day now seeing as I might be O'ing earlier? 

Preg- FX still for you !!! 
Thanks gals :)


----------



## lauren26

countrygirl86 said:


> Sleepy - computers suck lol but without them we wouldn't be able to talk like this so I guess we have to deal!

It's so weird that I feel like I know you all so well but there's so much we don't know about one another!! I totally have an idea in my head of what everyone looks like, too, lol. It's true, though, computers are amazing for being able to do this type of thing. I truly don't know how I'd get through this process without you all and without a resource like the internet and charting software! How did our moms do it?? I guess they all got pregnant right away, right? Lol.

treasured - Mine always show a faint line, even on CD 1 or during week 3! Mine usually gets darker. It's pretty faint until the few days leading up to O. It gets a little bit darker and then really dark. Fx that you are O-ing early! For some reason I feel like I might be, too.


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## Pino6161

You could take it daily, just for a while until you see when you ovulate, and see if it ends up on a schedule! My fingers are crossed for longger LP !!


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## lxb

country - Ahh.. I couldn't give up sugar either!! I've been into baking for the past few months~~~ been making desserts... cookies.. and cupcakes~~~~~ MMmm!! :blush:

treasured - You could O early/late each cycle. Possible cause to delay in O is sickness/stress. And after all, our body have a mind of its own! :shrug: I think you should test with OPK everyday. I think it's recommended to test twice a day (but I do once a day) and NOT with FMU (I usually test at ~10AM)

lauren - haha.. .yeah... i have an idea of what everyone look like too! but i know for a fact that the images in my head won't come close to what everyone actually look like! hahaha.... :haha: And I agree that this forum has kept me busy and you ladies has certainly provided me with the supports that I needed and I hope I do the same for you too :hugs:


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## countrygirl86

lxb - me too! I bake a few times a week and would love to turn it into a part time job someday lol 

lauren - I totally picture everyone too, it's hard not to now that we all kind of 'know' each other! It's true though, we really only know a small part of everyone. I definitely feel like our moms just got prego right away, they don't understand why we 'try', it just happened for them so it should just happen for us! I'm having some honey in my green tea right now :coffee: lol

treasured - I'd say to keep testing and keep BDing! Anything is possible, I've definitely learned that! Are you temping at all?


----------



## preg_pilot

countrygirl86 said:


> preg_pilot - they sound like great symptoms, hopefully it's just a tad too soon for the BFP to show up! How are you doing today?

Doing alright I guess.
A little depressed.
If I didn´t succeed this time, I only have one more chance this year, due to work.
Still no AF though, so that´s something.


----------



## Pino6161

preg_pilot said:


> Doing alright I guess.
> A little depressed.
> If I didn´t succeed this time, I only have one more chance this year, due to work.
> Still no AF though, so that´s something.

Sorry your feeling down :hugs: How come you only get one more try? If you don't mind me asking? Hope things get better :hugs: :hug:


----------



## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> preg_pilot said:
> 
> 
> Doing alright I guess.
> A little depressed.
> If I didn´t succeed this time, I only have one more chance this year, due to work.
> Still no AF though, so that´s something.
> 
> Sorry your feeling down :hugs: How come you only get one more try? If you don't mind me asking? Hope things get better :hugs: :hug:Click to expand...

Thanks. :hugs:

I work at a place where I can´t work for the last 3 months of pregnancy (and only the first 6 if I have no complications (or queasiness)).
I also can´t work for at least the first 6 weeks after birth.
My main working months are may-september, so I´m planning on being able to work for the first 6 months over the summer, and still be done with delivering before I have to show up at work again in may next year.


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## Pino6161

preg_pilot said:


> Thanks. :hugs:
> 
> I work at a place where I can´t work for the last 3 months of pregnancy (and only the first 6 if I have no complications (or queasiness)).
> I also can´t work for at least the first 6 weeks after birth.
> My main working months are may-september, so I´m planning on being able to work for the first 6 months over the summer, and still be done with delivering before I have to show up at work again in may next year.

Oh I am sorry!! Where are you at in your cycle??


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> preg_pilot said:
> 
> 
> Thanks. :hugs:
> 
> I work at a place where I can´t work for the last 3 months of pregnancy (and only the first 6 if I have no complications (or queasiness)).
> I also can´t work for at least the first 6 weeks after birth.
> My main working months are may-september, so I´m planning on being able to work for the first 6 months over the summer, and still be done with delivering before I have to show up at work again in may next year.
> 
> Oh I am sorry!! Where are you at in your cycle??Click to expand...

CD 26. 15DPO. (as far as I can tell from O-pains).


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## lxb

Hope you get your BFP preg_pilot! :dust:

country - I would also love to turn my baking passion into a job/business! someday! :dance:

I've been relying on my temperature/OPK to determine my O. Since yesterday I POAS on a different time of day (in the evening time) and got a negative, I decided to POAS today ~10AM (my usual POAS time :blush:). BUT, I left my sticks at home :growlmad:

we're doing SMEP & BDed last night. I'm confused (I guess always had been) about EWCM as they seem/feel soo similar to :spermy: serem?! :shrug: My temperature raised a bit today (around my coverline), squeezing the crab out of my boob.. and felt a little sore (I'm pretty sure it was because of all the squeezing :haha:). I'm expecting a + on OPK later today? :shrug:


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## treasured

thanks for the opk advice :) i will make sure to test everyday and see how much darker it gets!! they are so expensive that is the problem :(. 

country- im not temping no, ive never really understood it :S does it seem to work?

preg- im still hopefull for you! that sucks about your job :( is there no way you can change the dates you start or anything? fingers crossed you wont need to and this is your month!

lxb- loling at squeezing still sore rather than because theyre sore! i do that too.... I am the same with EWCM, i always seem to have it a few days before i think im going to ovulate, but only ever like 1 bit of it! maybe I should try that preseed stuff! 

heading to bed now :) night gals xx


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## Pino6161

treasured--- when I first started out I bought the ones from the Dollar tree for a dollar, suprisingly, they are just as accurate.


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## preg_pilot

treasured said:


> thanks for the opk advice :) i will make sure to test everyday and see how much darker it gets!! they are so expensive that is the problem :(.
> 
> country- im not temping no, ive never really understood it :S does it seem to work?
> 
> preg- im still hopefull for you! that sucks about your job :( is there no way you can change the dates you start or anything? fingers crossed you wont need to and this is your month!
> 
> lxb- loling at squeezing still sore rather than because theyre sore! i do that too.... I am the same with EWCM, i always seem to have it a few days before i think im going to ovulate, but only ever like 1 bit of it! maybe I should try that preseed stuff!
> 
> heading to bed now :) night gals xx

Thanks :)
Sadly, no I can´t change my work months. It´s seasonal. Training always starts april-may, and I work from June-Sep/Oct... Nothing to be done about that. Just hope I´m one of the lucky ones :)


----------



## haribo813

Quick one from me-exhausted and drafted in today to work on behalf of my colleague who's ill-only got home at 23.15, so tired!!

Lauren, glad you've been indulging in sugar and booze this cycle! You just have to sometimes to lift the spirits. Preg pilot, i really hope you are preggo, am keeping my fingers crossed. Country, your honey monster tendencies made me laugh. Sleepy, I'm on CD12, how are you getting on?

Helpful news from the nurse for me-they are giving me every blood test going on day 3 and day 19 of my cycle-even though not been trying a year (our 10th month and I'm 30). I told them I had 28 day cycle and partner had good sperm test so think that helped. 

Also having a pelvic ultrasound on Monday-sounds pretty grim-they stick something up your vagina (a transvaginal transducer apparently!!!) which has lubrication on it-oh gawd. Still, it's steps in the right direction and my mum has offered to come with me, so sweet of her. Sashimi, have you had this? Is it that bad? Think it enables them to see ovaries, fallopian tube, cervix, uterus etc. Hope it doesn't matter that I'm having it done mid cycle?

Right bed for me. The O is round the corner i think but wondering if I am too exhausted to embrace it! Hallelujah for the weekend and its lovely lie ins though. xxx


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## Pino6161

So I have been researching vitamins that help with TTC. The only thing I take right now are prenatal vitamins. I found a list of some. What do you guys take? What is recommended? Thanks

Here is the list I found
Women:
B6---100MG Daily---Helps w/ AF spotting: lengthen LP
Baby Aspirin---1 Daily---Helps blood flow to the uterine lining
Mucinex---1 tablet 2 times a day AF- ovulation---Helps w/ EWCM
Preseed ---AF-O 2-4 Tbs every 4-6 hrs---	Sperm friendly lubricant
Vitamin E-----400-800 IU daily
Simplex F-----Stimulates hormone producing glands
Vitex(Chasteberry)-----Helps with ovulation
Guaifenesin(active ingredient in cough syrup)-----Helps w/ EWCM 
Floic Acid-----	Reduce neural tube defects, promote healthy cell growth
Super B Complex-----Lengthen LP
Vitamin E-----Reproduction function
Vitamin C


Men:
Zinc---30-60mg/day---improve sperm count
Vitamin E---400-800 IU/day---reproductive function
Amino Acids
Arginine---2-4 gm/day---raise sperm count/motility
Taurine---2-4gm/day---enhance sperm production/motility


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## SleepyOwl

Pino - Thanks for the list. Very helpful. I'm totally into all those vitamins and herbal remedies!! 

Pregpilot - Sorry about the BFN. You're still in the running though. Do you think you'll test again tomorrow or just try to wait things out at this point?

Haribo - Obviously testing isn't fun, but you're right, it's a step in the right direction aka towards your BFP. I hope you get lots of rest this weekend and enjoy yourself. Sounds like you have been so busy and deserve some lazy time!! 

Treasured - I use the internet cheapie OPKs and they seem to work fine. Have you tried those? Maybe worth a shot since they are so inexpensive. I use 2-3 a day from CD 8/9 (depending when EWCM starts) until FF confirms O. 

Lxb - Yay for SMEP. I hope it works out for you this cycle :) 

Sashimi - Totally agree - it's worth the money if it means you get your BFP and your little one will have a comfy home for 9 months. Really hoping this does the trick for you. 

Lauren - Our moms totally didn't need BnB because they all seemed to get preg on the first cycle. Lucky ducks!! I also have an idea what everyone looks like and I'm sure it's so off base from reality but whatever! I feel like I know each one of you personally and like we are real life friends, lol. Oh and congrats on the decaf - big accomplishment I know!!

I'm CD3 today and AF is pretty much gone. Some light spotting only when I wipe now so that's good. Planning on getting OH in the mood and BD'ing a few times this weekend just so his guys are fresh for when we start SMEPing. I think it was a huge mistake to have regular coffee the past couple days because I was totally craving it this morning! How quickly the addiction returns. In other news, I have to set up my annual gyn. appt for late May/early June. I'm going to bombard my doc with TTC questions and this wealth of knowledge I've accumulated on here :)


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## SashimiMimi

I feel like when I haven't been able to log on for a day, I miss all the commotion that's been going on in this tread! I'm actually have BnB open on my iPad so I can scroll along as I type this on my laptop!

Today, I felt I did really well on my whole thinking positive initiative. I've been reading that Spirit Babies book I mentioned a while back, and went out and finally bought TCOYF! Both books are fascinating, but the Spirit Babies one is really helping my frame of mind and helping me to understand why a BFP hasn't happened yet, I guess on a spiritual level. 

Lauren- You are right. Technology is amazing! As far as I know, I will go in for monitoring every few days so they can track what is going on with the injections. I did my injection by myself no problem this morning, I was so proud. OH stood by me and cheered me on. I must have held my breath because he was doing deep breathing exercises at me, reminding me to breath. He did this while he was in a towel and had shaving cream all over his face, so the whole picture of him in post-shower shaving mode, and me jabbing a large needle into my stomach must have been quite comical. 

I do not mind you asking a lot of questions about the recent developments in my fertility process. In fact, I find it really helps me out a lot, because you ask things I would never think to act. Like the toxoplasmosis. I wouldn't have asked for the test if we hadn't been chatting about it here. And if the IUI is cancelled because of too many eggs, I have the choice to cancel or go into IVF. Of course, everything has to be just right for IVF, so I am sure there is the chance it could get cancelled all together. I'm just going to do the injections and proceed as if we will do the IUI, if something else comes up... or we don't go forward with it, then it wasn't meant to be this month. 

I asked my doctor, if we do get a BFP will it be safe for me to travel to Hawaii. He then asked me if I was asking him this because I want to know if I can have Mai Tais on the beach! He occasionally cracks the odd joke and I find it makes the whole experience a lot less intense.

OH caught up with someone associated with his company, who asked if he had children. Once again, he ended up opening up about the whole IUI process to another man. And once agian, this particular man in this case also conceived (with his wife obviously)through several IUI attemps. The wife is a nutritionist, and she ended up making some significant changes to her diet when the fourth IUI attempt finally worked. This guy passed on his wife's email to OH, who passed it on to me and he said I could email her about diet advice when TTC. I have read so many conflicting views on fertility diets. I have cut back on sugar, dramatically cut back on caffeine, but I need a bagel in the morning! So I will be interested to hear what this woman has to say and of course, I'll post it here on the board. 

Country- I totally felt like a rockstar after the first needle injection, and the second one today, too. It really is empowering and for a second I felt like it was actually kind of...fun. My acupuncturist and good friend called me today. She got my email about my second failed IUI and I was in a complete state of devastation when I wrote it, so I am sure it came off as sounding dramatic. She wants to do more treatments with me this month, so she booked me in for this Saturday morning. And we have a tentative appointment for the weekend after, assuming the next procedure will take place (IUI or IVF!) It's hard to pinpoint what day it will fall, as it will happen on the day my body decides to O. The name of the clinic I go to is Create IVF in Toronto. Some of the reviews complain that they treat you like a number, but honestly there is no wait list and they have a very organized way of moving a lot of women through the clinic each day. The place is often packed and it is a reminder that there are so many people who struggle like we do. A lot of people come from out of town to visit the Create clinic... if that ever happens in your case, you and I are going for a decaffienated beverage together! ;) I will be really interested to hear how it goes if you get reffered to the place in Ottawa. 

Lxb- I got your PM and have been meaning to email you. I've totally been thrown off by the whole turn of events with the injectibles and the prospect of doing IVF. I could really use a distraction and am ready to do some trip planning. I realized today we leave for Kauai in less than a month!!! It's amazing how something you plan months in advance creeps up on you so quickly. I wonder if pregnancy is like that, or if those nine months drag on? I appreciate your offer to give me some Kauai advice!! By the way, my SIL took a professional baking course as a distraction from TTC. She makes the most incredibly cookies and I swear she could sell them. She makes themed cookies for birthday parties like Angry Birds, Spiderman, etc., and they are works of art and taste amazing. I should post a pic of some of the amazing baking she does. So another pro of TTC, we all have a shot at learning a new skill as we take up hobbies to distract us! :)

Haribo- I have been probed by the transvaginal internal ultrasound stick (as I call it) about 57 times within the last two months. It's fine, it feels like nothing. They always put a condom over it with lubricant for sanitary reasons, and the first time I though... You have got to be kidding me! They are only up there for a minute at most to take pics of your ovaries. At every fertility visit, I do a blood test and the internal ultrasound. It's become pretty routine, so don't worry. The ultrasound is the easiest part! AND you must have an empty bladder, so at least you don't have to do the kind of ultrasound that requires a full bladder. 

Sleepy- I thought my cycle and shifted way off from everyone elses in here because of the fertility treatments. I'm on CD4 today, so I guess I am pretty close to both you and Lauren after all. It's kind of nice being relatively on the same cycle, so we can AF together and TWW together!

Pino, Treasured, Preg??? How are you guys all doing today. Sorry everyone, this is turning into a REALLY long post!!! OH is off playing hockey tonight and I'm using the time alone to do some serious BnBing!!

I also feel like I know everyone in person. Isn't it amazing how close we have all become through writing back and forth? I always refer to you all as my "Internet Pen Pals" to OH. I can't remember if I mentioned this before, but my SIL joined a group when she started to TTC in 2005 (didn't get her BFP until 2008). She said out of everyone she became friends with almost EVERYONE got their BFP. Some took longer than others, and one of her TTC friends ended up adopting a little boy. They are all still friends to this day and stay in touch through Facebook, etc. That way they can share pictures of their kids as they grow up!

I have a picture in my mind of how everyone looks. Now I'm starting to wonder how everyone pictures the other ladies in here?! I'm amused at the thought of how you must picture me!!! Lauren, I picture you being blonde, Country I picture you typing with a cowboy hat on and Sleepy, I initially thought you were from Seattle, Washington not Washington, DC, so I always picture you typing from a really rainy place. Ridiculous, I know. Well if anyone wants to break the ice and do Facebook, I'm only a PM away to swap info!!!


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## lauren26

treasured said:


> thanks for the opk advice :) i will make sure to test everyday and see how much darker it gets!! they are so expensive that is the problem :(.
> 
> country- im not temping no, ive never really understood it :S does it seem to work?
> 
> preg- im still hopefull for you! that sucks about your job :( is there no way you can change the dates you start or anything? fingers crossed you wont need to and this is your month!
> 
> lxb- loling at squeezing still sore rather than because theyre sore! i do that too.... I am the same with EWCM, i always seem to have it a few days before i think im going to ovulate, but only ever like 1 bit of it! maybe I should try that preseed stuff!
> 
> heading to bed now :) night gals xx


The internet cheapies from Wondfo are actually really good, unlike the Wondfo hpt strips. They're like $5 for a 40 or something crazy. I got them on amazon.com.


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi - Congrats on a successful first injection! You are totally going to be an expert in no time. And yes, it's so nice to be on similar cycles. I love having people right there with my (literally like same CD) to share the journey!

I was cracking up at your descriptions and I also picture Country with a cowboy hat on!! I'm totally down for swapping FB info also. I really do feel so close to each of you since we are sharing such a personal and difficult journey. I love that I can say anything and it's not weird or gross. Everyone is so helpful and kind and it has made this process alot easier.


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## lauren26

Pino - The only one that I have heard otherwise on is Vitex--my doc said it can sometimes suppress FSH, which would inhibit ovulation, but after the other things she's said to me who knows! Lol. I used Vitex for years and loved it--it made my skin nice and helped a lot with my cycles. I am using the others, too--almost all of those! Lol.

Haribo - GL with the tests! A little uncomfortable, I'm guessing, but you'll have so much information after! 

Sleepy - Thanks! Decaf kind of sucks but since I worked it in slowly it tastes pretty much like the real thing. It's ROUGH having a cup of caffeinated and then having to stop, lol. Maybe food or water or something was much healthier when our moms were getting pg?? It does seem crazy that ladies used to get pg so easily. Do you watch Mad Men? I couldn't believe the depiction of pg women drinking and smoking and eating 500 calories a day--but I think it was all too common in our grandmothers' days. I am so jealous of your 3 day AF, lol! My OH is super on board with SMEP. We BD-ed today (for good measure ;)) and he said, 'OK, now I save up for 3 days, right?' How he knew that 3 days from now would be CD10 is beyond me!

lxb - EWCM and sperm ARE super similar. I Googled it once and someone had put together a site with pics (whoa!) and instructions on how to figure out which is which after BD. I think if you drop EWCM into water it gets cloudy and bunches up, and sperm is water soluble? I wish I remembered the site!

Sashimi - YES on the positive thinking! Good for you! I def want to read the Spirit Babies book--I keep forgetting to look into it. So basically it's this round that you can choose to do IVF or cancel? And then if you do cancel, you can do round three after your trip and do IUI? I think it's really sweet that your OH talks to other men about TTC and assisted reproduction, and that he's been with you every step of the way--at the fertility clinic, watching you stick yourself, lol. He sounds wonderful. It's so nice to have a supportive partner when you're going through something like TTC--and you're really going through it, girl! Your doc sounds great, too. And I loooooove bagels. I know how you feel. The diet part is rough. I will be very curious to know what the nutritionist has to say. AND I agree with the shots being worth it--knowing that you're doing something that will work vs. trying out a bunch of remedies has to feel good. LOLLL about picturing country in a cowboy hat typing!! I picture that, too. I am not blond, or maybe am dark blond? Light brown. You can be the judge! I will PM you.

I would love to FB connect with everyone. I have been really avoiding FB lately, but it would be fun to get a picture of everyone's life since we all have gotten so close! I am open to PMs too, y'all.


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi and Lauren - I PM'ed each of you (I think?).


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## lauren26

Yay for BnB and FB worlds colliding!! Lol. Yes, anyone else who wants to PM me, I'll be happy to connect on FB.


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## SashimiMimi

lauren26 said:


> Yay for BnB and FB worlds colliding!! Lol. Yes, anyone else who wants to PM me, I'll be happy to connect on FB.

 This is way too much fun!!! Why didn't we do this sooner??


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## SleepyOwl

I know - so fun!!


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## lxb

Hahaha.. At sashimi's description!
I picture lauren to be brunette and country a blonde with cowboy hat too!! I guess because of the name "country"! I'm up for fb too! Or email!

I tested with opk again but got a negative. Usually I test in the morning... Now it is evening time. I think I have ewcm... Not sure.. Or maybe it is serem? Maybe I will do a water test as Lauren suggested! Debating if we should bd tonight... Or stay on smep track (bd tomorrow) ... Maybe will see our mood? Hheehe


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## SashimiMimi

Poor, Countrygirl. She is going to log on next time and wonder why there are dozens of posts about how she types while wearing a cowboy hat!! I also picture cowboy boots, and I might even go as far as picturing one of those cowboy leather jackets with all the tassles on them. 

Lauren- I THINK that will be the plan. I have only been at the fertility clinic for two months, so I would be really upset if they fired me after only 3 tries. I feel like we are just getting started. So I guess if they cancel and we don't go for the IVF, then we can come back after our trip and try it again. My gut feeling is that the dose is low enough right now that it won't turn me into an Octomom candidate!

FB is fun! I'm glad our TTC Buddy friendships are moving to the next level, although I feel like a mega webstalker right about now. I'm too wound up to go to bed because I feel like this is really exciting! I have also been avoiding it and have officially unsubscribed from anyone who has a baby bump. My breaking point was this girl I went to high school with... she posted her status asking everyone if they know whether or not pregnant women can take advil. And she is 7 months along. ADVIL!!!! I bet she doesn't know about EWCM either! Or how O works. So I had enough and I hit the unsubcribe button.


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## lauren26

LOL. I have unsubscribed from all of those people, too!! FB is definitely fleshing out the BnB friends for me! They can't turn you away after 3 tries, can they?? Can't you just continue asking for IUI? I really don't know about this stuff--maybe they have a limit. But I know you said your SIL (right?) did 4 before it worked. Maybe they'll continue on but try some other meds or methods. I will be FB stalking tomorrow when OH and I aren't battling for the computer, lol. 

Country will totally wake up to a bunch of posts about her in a cowboy hat, lol! Country, I picture you in denim, too. I like that you are from Canada but like country music and countrygirl is your screen name on here! Since I'm from Colorado, which some people consider 'The West', people from here are often depicted as cowboys and our airport volunteers wear cowboy hats and bolo ties. Lol. Now I'm so curious to hear your stance on cowboy hats!


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## SashimiMimi

You would be surprised at how many Canadians like country music. But country girl please, settle the debate... Do you wear a cowboy hat!?

I really don't think the clinic will fire me. Not when I am 30 and perfectly healthy, I just tend to worry that way. My doctor seems determined and has a real "Go team" attitude during my visits. I have noticed this one woman who looks like she is in her mid to late 40s coming in time and time again, so if they aren't giving up on her I can't imagine they will give up on me. I overheard a nurse ask this woman if it was her first PG test and she seemed said and said, "No, I have been through this many times now." I felt really sad for her. On 2 or 3 occasions now I have seen couples walking out of the clinic where the wife is in tears. I wonder what type of bad news they got. A cancelled procedure? A BFN? But on the flipside, there are so many pictures of babies all over the walls and thank you cards plastered everywhere, so I know they have a high success rate!


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## Pino6161

I love country music LOL I grew up listening to it!!!

I hate to be repetative, but I am so confused... I have been looking into vitamins, and there are alot of them...do you take them all, or is there a pill with all of that in it already? AM I missing any? I have done alot of researching, and have added some to the list....are any of these not recommended that you know of?? Here is the new list:::
Women:
B6---100MG Daily---Helps w/ AF spotting: lengthen LP
Baby Aspirin---1 Daily---Helps blood flow to the uterine lining
Mucinex---1 tablet 2 times a day AF- ovulation---Helps w/ EWCM
Preseed ---AF-O 2-4 Tbs every 4-6 hrs---	Sperm friendly lubricant
Vitamin E-----400-800 IU daily
Simplex F-----Stimulates hormone producing glands
Vitex(Chasteberry)-----Helps with ovulation
Guaifenesin(active ingredient in cough syrup)-----Helps w/ EWCM 
Floic Acid-----	Reduce neural tube defects, promote healthy cell growth
Super B Complex-----Lengthen LP
Vitamin E400UI---Reproduction function
Vitamin C
Iron---preconseption---15mg
Vitamin A-----5000-10000IU
Flaxseed Oil-----400 MG
Evening Primrose Oil----ONLY BEFORE OVULATION---2,000MG
L-Arginine----16G
Men:
Zinc---30-60mg/day---improve sperm count
Vitamin E---400-800 IU/day---reproductive function
Amino Acids
Arginine---2-4 gm/day---raise sperm count/motility
Taurine---2-4gm/day---enhance sperm production/motility
Vitamin C


I have also heard about Royal Jelly?? Anyone know anything more to help. I am getting a bit desperate, and I really don't want to do fertility treatments, and I can't really afford it. Thanks you guys!!!

:hug:

:hugs:


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## Pino6161

SashimiMimi--- I don&#8217;t think they will &#8220;fire you&#8221; as you put it. Their sole job is to help people like you reach your dreams. You are inspiring for going through all of this, and knowing your experiences helps. You deserve your BFP, and soon I know you shall get it!!!

Quick questions about the whole FB thing LOL. I would LOVE to add all of you guys, but one thing is NO ONE knows I am TTC? how do you guys handle it? Especially with TTC friends. I'm not worried about posting my stuff here. Just type in (edited my name out). I am the ONLY one LOL I love it!!! friend request me!! just also send a personal message with your user name here cause I don't add people I don't know LOL. I can't wait to see what you guys really like LOL


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## countrygirl86

Wow! :) Where to start lol

haribo - the transducer part sounds scary lol but judging by Sashimi's comment, the name is scarier than the procedure! Glad to hear you are going to your doc too! It'll be nice for us to have some answers. I also love how you talk, I can tell you are from the UK just by how you type! Awesome!

Pino - unfortunately I only take prenatals so can't help at this point anyway! 

Sleepy - glad you are making it to the doctor too! Sounds like we'll be going around the same time as my appt is set up for May 29th. I'm always raring to go after AF is gone so I don't blame you for wanting to BD all weekend! Have fun girl!

lxb - I don't think sperm will stretch like EWCM and it's more cloudy. EWCM should be clear and stretch a few inches. Woo SMEP!

Sashimi - I open another page so I can follow along on that and type at the same time lol there's always so much going on! Yeehaw for becoming a rockstar! So you aren't on anything to make you O? Or do those things not time it, just make it happen? Thanks for the info, I hadn't heard of it before but I'll keep it in mind. It is a nice reminder we aren't the only ones going through this! You've got me thinking of buying that spirit babies book now, I devoured TCOYF so I need something else! I agree, it's incredible how much people don't know if they haven't had time TTC, I definitely know more about my body than my SIL who just gave birth the second time! FB has lost its appeal to me, I prefer twitter now!

So I had a great laugh at all of your guesses! My boss must have been wondering what the heck was going on! Before I answer you guys, hope no one takes offence but I picture Sashimi as short with dark hair and killer shoes lol; lauren as a tall blonde, hazel eyes; sleepy has big brown eyes like an owl and dark hair with bangs! I also thought it was washington state at first so thought it would be rainy! lxb, medium height with brown hair and glasses? haha no idea just threw that in there! Pino, short with blonde hair? 

So I don't wear a cowboy hat but due to your responses I will be buying one lol And I don't even own cowboy boots either! So disappointing I know! I should get those too though for all the concerts we go to! haha it was actually kinda nice knowing you were all talking about me in the night! I picked that name because we moved out to the country about a year ago and I absolutely love it out there, we live in the middle of 8 acres of treed land, plus I like country music but the newer stuff, I can't get into the '90s country! Why did all of you pick your names?


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## countrygirl86

treasured - I really do think temping helps! I don't mean to go on about it but what helped me understand it was the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni something. My doctor had mentioned temping when I first went to see him to talk about TTC but I didn't want to put any pressure on TTC then I tried it and didn't understand it but once I read that book I don't think I'll ever not temp (until I'm through menopause anyway lol). It may not be for everyone though!


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## lauren26

Pino - I DEFINITELY don't talk about TTC on Facebook! I would never out anyone about it on there. The vast majority of people I know don't know about our TTC process--the FB thing is so that we can connect in other ways and see what's happening for each other (at least it is for me!), since we all feel like friends, now! I am finding you right now :) And you have my solemn swear that I will never mention TTC on FB!!


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## lauren26

Country - I thought it might be because you lived in the country, but also hoped that it was because you wore a cowboy hat!! My BF in Boulder is a huge concert-goer (mostly bluegrass), and she owns about 10 pairs of cowboy boots. I can't get into 90's country, either, but I loooooooove old country--I guess what some would consider 'folk' now, like Hank Williams Sr, Johnny Cash, Carter Family. Anyway. 

Lol on everyone thinking I am a tall blond. I guess I'm taller than avg, I'm 5'7", but I don't fit the description I think everyone has in their mind of a long and lean blond. My family is Polish, so I have a booty, lol. 

I picked my name and age for my name--I didn't realize it would be my screen name on here! I thought it was just a login, I didn't even think twice about it.


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## treasured

Sashimi- ive really enjoyed reading through your recent posts! i feel you have educated me greatly hehe! it seems like a long and stressful process, but you seem to be handling it very well and im glad you have supportive/light hearted people helping you through! :) 

Country- i may read into the temping thing more for sure and maybe will get that book, I wonder if you can get these maybe second hand on amazon/ebay etc? 

Lauren- are they available for UK aswel? I had thought wondfo was just american but I will deffinately be purchasing some of them! cost me £8.50 for 5 OPKS from ASDA! ripoff! 
Sooo up for swapping details ladies if anyone wants me to add them on FC just PM me your full name and I will swap! :) Pino im already in the process of finding you hehe! I'm also on the DL about TTC so wont be mentioning it over facebook :) 

Im on CD 11 today did an OPK this morning but think I must have got some pee on the display part, or maybe it was juts faulty cause the control line was almost central and there was a blur where the other line should have been. 
Me and OH BD'd earlier anyway to be sure :) ANNNND he (I mean we ;) ) hehe managed to get his spermie sample done this morning too (before BD'ing so the sperm were GOOD) and got that handed into the hospital :happydance::happydance: so I was really chuffed and greatful to him :kiss: 

Now he is currently making me tea cause "he knows how important b&b is too me" :cloud9: xxx


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## lxb

Pino - Like lauren, I definitely won't talk about ttc on fb! Majority of the time I just use fb to post pictures and to look at pictures from family and friends. A nice way to 'stay in touch' without really talking. haha... oh, and about the vitamins, I'm only taking prenatal vitamins so can't help much in that department. I've tried mucinex once 2 cycles ago as I read it helps with EWCM (thin out the CM to be :spermy: friendly). It help other people but not me.. :shrug: and I didn't want to take it again as I don't feel like it's 'natural stuff'. I've been drinking grapefruit juice though. it supposedly help with ewcm too. even though I hated grapefruit, I just chucked down a glass a day :)

lauren - i pictured you as a brunette, a sporty type gal (Maybe it's because of all the lauren(s) I know were like that) :haha: @ your booty comment~

country - I too picture sashimi a short w/ dark hair AND KILLER SHOES!!! how funny~~~ i guess i'm medium height (is 5'5" considered medium?) and I DO have glasses~~ :haha: as for my username, i picked lxb as it's my malaysian name initials and I just realized it looks like a squinty eyes with tongue sticking out w/ UNIBROW smiley face if you look at it sideway~ 

sleepy - i first picture you as a blonde and medium height. Maybe sleepyowl as you're a night owl that feels sleepy in the day time? :haha: then after you've mentioned about your culture and your framesize, so it changed to dark hair and tiny little firecracker! :haha:

So I tested on OPK today (~my usual time) and it's negative. CM is creamy? So I'm not exactly sure what that 'ewcm' was :shrug: I guess it's off to BD tonight for SMEP! :happydance:

And MIL's nephew and his wife r visiting us this weekend.... so might hv to do some :ninja: BD (inspired by sleepy! :haha:)


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## treasured

P.s when veiwing my pictures the ones with my red hair were taken about 5 years ago, hence why I look 16 !! xxx


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## countrygirl86

Lauren - I do like the old stuff, Johnny Cash and Patsy Cline are my two oldie faves! My Dad's side is Polish too! When did your family come over? My Dad's parents came here from Poland after WWII. Neat! 

treasured - I'm sure you can get it second hand. Isn't your OH a darling? Mine makes me tea and gets my breakfast ready every morning *spolied*

lxb - Yay extra points for me guessing the glasses! I love guessing what everyone looks like! haha it's funny how our personalities give us physical traits in people's minds! Like cowboy hats!!!


----------



## SashimiMimi

Lol!!! Now I'm LOLing big time at work. I'm actually quite opposite... Tall (5'9 or 176cm) and blonde, but I do like to wear killer shoes on occasion which makes me well over 6 feet!

I picked Sashimi Mimi because it's the name of the colour of my favourite (now discontinued) :( lipgloss from M.A.C. Cosmetics! 

Back to work for me! More later!!


----------



## preg_pilot

haribo813 said:


> Quick one from me-exhausted and drafted in today to work on behalf of my colleague who's ill-only got home at 23.15, so tired!!
> 
> Lauren, glad you've been indulging in sugar and booze this cycle! You just have to sometimes to lift the spirits. Preg pilot, i really hope you are preggo, am keeping my fingers crossed. Country, your honey monster tendencies made me laugh. Sleepy, I'm on CD12, how are you getting on?
> 
> Helpful news from the nurse for me-they are giving me every blood test going on day 3 and day 19 of my cycle-even though not been trying a year (our 10th month and I'm 30). I told them I had 28 day cycle and partner had good sperm test so think that helped.
> 
> Also having a pelvic ultrasound on Monday-sounds pretty grim-they stick something up your vagina (a transvaginal transducer apparently!!!) which has lubrication on it-oh gawd. Still, it's steps in the right direction and my mum has offered to come with me, so sweet of her. Sashimi, have you had this? Is it that bad? Think it enables them to see ovaries, fallopian tube, cervix, uterus etc. Hope it doesn't matter that I'm having it done mid cycle?
> 
> Right bed for me. The O is round the corner i think but wondering if I am too exhausted to embrace it! Hallelujah for the weekend and its lovely lie ins though. xxx

I´ve had one of those pelvic ultrasounds... Not comfortable, but not painful either. Just really really weird.


----------



## preg_pilot

SleepyOwl said:


> Pino - Thanks for the list. Very helpful. I'm totally into all those vitamins and herbal remedies!!
> 
> Pregpilot - Sorry about the BFN. You're still in the running though. Do you think you'll test again tomorrow or just try to wait things out at this point?
> 
> Haribo - Obviously testing isn't fun, but you're right, it's a step in the right direction aka towards your BFP. I hope you get lots of rest this weekend and enjoy yourself. Sounds like you have been so busy and deserve some lazy time!!
> 
> Treasured - I use the internet cheapie OPKs and they seem to work fine. Have you tried those? Maybe worth a shot since they are so inexpensive. I use 2-3 a day from CD 8/9 (depending when EWCM starts) until FF confirms O.
> 
> Lxb - Yay for SMEP. I hope it works out for you this cycle :)
> 
> Sashimi - Totally agree - it's worth the money if it means you get your BFP and your little one will have a comfy home for 9 months. Really hoping this does the trick for you.
> 
> Lauren - Our moms totally didn't need BnB because they all seemed to get preg on the first cycle. Lucky ducks!! I also have an idea what everyone looks like and I'm sure it's so off base from reality but whatever! I feel like I know each one of you personally and like we are real life friends, lol. Oh and congrats on the decaf - big accomplishment I know!!
> 
> I'm CD3 today and AF is pretty much gone. Some light spotting only when I wipe now so that's good. Planning on getting OH in the mood and BD'ing a few times this weekend just so his guys are fresh for when we start SMEPing. I think it was a huge mistake to have regular coffee the past couple days because I was totally craving it this morning! How quickly the addiction returns. In other news, I have to set up my annual gyn. appt for late May/early June. I'm going to bombard my doc with TTC questions and this wealth of knowledge I've accumulated on here :)

Thanks :)
I´m testing again on monday if AF doesn´t show.


----------



## preg_pilot

Small status update for everybody here :)
No change yet.
Got my BFN yesterday, but no AF yet, and holding off testing again until monday if she doesn´t show this weekend :coffee: 
I´m already 2 days late compared to last month.


----------



## lauren26

country - My great grandfather came over either right before, after, or during WWII. A lot of my family still live on the east coast--Connecticut and NY. It's my dad's side, as well!

preg - I'm still holding out hope for you! That sounds promising. 

Sashimi - You are tall! I love heels but I'm scared to wear them after hurting my ankle bad a few years ago. Also, OH is only about an inch taller than me when he's standing up straight, lol, and I don't like to tower over him. I hate when MAC discontinues great colors! My fave lipstick is gone, too.


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## lauren26

Sashimi I just looked up that color and it is pretty! I have a Nars pencil that is very similar--it's called Dolce Vita. The color on the pencil makes it seem like a dark mauve and a little granny-ish, but it's much lighter and warmer on the lips. I looove it--it's sort of a bright nude.


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren, I love NARS! I should check that colour out. Lately, I've had a problem finding ANY lipstick that looks good on me. I don't know if it's because I'm 30 now, but even colours that I wore 1 or 2 years ago look clownish on me now. The worst is when I don't realize that it looks off and then I see a picture of myself where I have total clown mouth!!!

My positive thinking initiative was a challenge today. One thing I do not like about being back at work is having to take public transit, twice a day, during rush hour! People are so angrey and pushy. Some old man rolled his suitcase over my foot, and even though he was at fault, I ended up saying sorry. (Must be the Canadian in me to apologize for everything!!) He turned around and just glared at me and gave me the dirtiest look. Ugghh!! I can't stand crazy, angrey people on public transit! I seem to encounter a nutjob every single day. 

I also notice that NO ONE gives up their seat for pregnant women. I always try to, but often find someone else (usually a man), dives in and steals the seat before the pregnant woman or elderly person can sit down. Before I started TTC, I always used to worry about having to take the subway, because I can't imagine fighting your way through an angrey, pushing pack of commuters with a huge baby bump. Funny how perspectives change, because now I would love more than anything to just HAVE a baby bump whether it be on a packed train, or driving in circles looking for parking downtown!


----------



## Pino6161

WOW I don't know where to start LOL

Lauren, and Treasured... I just accepted your friend requests. When I opened my browser(facebook is my home page) I was like "I don't know them LOL. So I logged in here to make sure LOL.

Country--- I am a bit disappointed that there are no cowboy hat or boots LOL. I love the 90&#8217;s stuff as weel as the new stuff. When I was a kid we had long drives all the time, and that was our thing LOL. I could never get into Twitter.I have one but don&#8217;t remember the log in stuff LOL. I went to 3 high schools, so facebook is my way of keeping touch. I am actually 5&#8217;8ish and my natural hair is like a dirty blonde. Dyed dark right now LOL. I used my last name and favorite number. I also didn&#8217;t know it would be my user name.

Lauren--- I am glad you don&#8217;t talk about TTC on facebook. For me, I am only 21 and my family would just be like&#8230;Why? Your to young blah blah blah. My husband&#8217;s family would always ask if I am pregnant yet&#8230;so it&#8217;s just NOT worth it! I am jealous of your booty LOL cause I don&#8217;t have one!!!

Treasured----Your OH sounds like a sweatheart!! Tell him to come give my husband lessons LOL JK(kinda) My OH works a lot all the time, so I try to spoil him &#61514; Also glad your TTC is on the DL &#61514;

Lxb---- Have fun BDing LOL&#8230; Have you found me on FB???

SashimiMimi--- I can&#8217;t wear killer shoes, first because I am a clutz LOL and my husband looks like a shrimp when I do LOL. I also don&#8217;t like to be taller than him.

Preg_pilot---- I hope AF doesn&#8217;t show!!! My fingers are crossed!!!


----------



## ADR

Hello,

I too am 30 and TTC. We've been trying since our miscarriage, April 5th 2010 (my birthday) It's really awesome to have such a forum, helps to read all the success stories! I am on my second round of clomid and trying to stay positive. I've had a total of 3 miscarriages and really hoping for a BFP that sticks, pretty soon. I swear I've become obsessed, and almost certain that I'm driving myself crazy. I've had a gamut of tests done and they all came back fine, except my prolactin levels... which were elevated; but I've been taking Bromocriptine faithfully and my levels have maintained a normal level. Sorry for the ranting but it feels great to put it all out to people, besides the hubby who won't judge me. I pray that great things happen to us all this year, thanks for listening.


----------



## Pino6161

ADR said:


> Hello,
> 
> I too am 30 and TTC. We've been trying since our miscarriage, April 5th 2010 (my birthday) It's really awesome to have such a forum, helps to read all the success stories! I am on my second round of clomid and trying to stay positive. I've had a total of 3 miscarriages and really hoping for a BFP that sticks, pretty soon. I swear I've become obsessed, and almost certain that I'm driving myself crazy. I've had a gamut of tests done and they all came back fine, except my prolactin levels... which were elevated; but I've been taking Bromocriptine faithfully and my levels have maintained a normal level. Sorry for the ranting but it feels great to put it all out to people, besides the hubby who won't judge me. I pray that great things happen to us all this year, thanks for listening.


Welcome!! Everyone on here is great!!! I hope you get your BFP soon:hugs:


----------



## SashimiMimi

Welcome ADR!!! You found a great thread. I'm also 30, been TTC for 11 months and have had two failed IUIs as of late. I'm gearing up for my third and hope 3 times is a charm. My doctor put me on injectibles because he felt my lining might have been too thin to hold on to a pregnancy. Other than that we are healthy and I guess we are falling into the unexplained category.

I'm so sorry the miscarriages happened to you. It's such a struggle to get a BFP, it's not fair that a mc can happen. I'm reading a couple really great books right now, Taking Charge of Your Fertility (which the ladies in here rave about) and another one (it's on the spiritual side so you have to be open to it) called Spirit Babies. I'm reading a chapter on mc right now, coming at it from a spiritual angle. 

Welcome! Glad you joined the thread. Feel free to vent away!


----------



## ADR

SashimiMimi said:


> Welcome ADR!!! You found a great thread. I'm also 30, been TTC for 11 months and have had two failed IUIs as of late. I'm gearing up for my third and hope 3 times is a charm. My doctor put me on injectibles because he felt my lining might have been too thin to hold on to a pregnancy. Other than that we are healthy and I guess we are falling into the unexplained category.
> 
> I'm so sorry the miscarriages happened to you. It's such a struggle to get a BFP, it's not fair that a mc can happen. I'm reading a couple really great books right now, Taking Charge of Your Fertility (which the ladies in here rave about) and another one (it's on the spiritual side so you have to be open to it) called Spirit Babies. I'm reading a chapter on mc right now, coming at it from a spiritual angle.
> 
> Welcome! Glad you joined the thread. Feel free to vent away!


Thanks! I might have to get those books for my Kindle! Will pray that you have success with your next IUI!!!!


----------



## Pino6161

Hey do you guys take vitamins seperatly or in a mix?


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## Pino6161

Sorry I need a life:shrug:. I am totally obsessing over this vitamin thing. I am so scared to take all that's on my list and it be bad, and not take anything and not get results... so frustrating!!!:growlmad:

So how is everyone doing?


----------



## Pino6161

Ok last update before I go to bed. After hours of research and talking to many people I have came to a conclusion to my obsessing LOL:happydance:

FertilAid for men, and women along with the tea. It is a bit expensive but the results are high in women that have tried for a while. It is all natural and you take it 3 times a day.:coffee: I wanted to share this with all of you and aplogize for my obsessivness!!! I can get a bit overbearing when my mind is on a war path.

For those of you that use Preseed...Do you use the injectors or just apply ??? Just curious cause my husband is having a bit trouble wrapping his head around it. He said it was a bit of a turn off to know I out it in me myself like a turkey baster LOL:hugs: I still love him though LOL:cloud9:

Just so you guys know... yesterday I did that new video I told you about and I could only do like a quarter of it. I have really bad knees cause of some bad falls off a dirtbike when I was a kid, and a bad fall on my horse. Anyways I woke up this morning and I was so sore :cry:. My husband said I need to take it easy, but I am so frustrated cause I am so out of shape. 

I talked to my Dr about dieting and I brought up "healthe trim" it's all natural and has proven results. He told me that it would help me lose weight, and could even increase my chances of concieving, but once I get that BFP I need to stop taking it. So I ordered it tonight and me and my husband are going to diet together. He wants to buy bikes so we can go on nightly rides cause they are easier on my knees. I am excited. 

After starting here on BnB I have found some hope. Although I am on here more than I should, I have found myself inspired to change my life, and get healthy so I can have a healthy baby when my time comes. Thank you guys so much for all of your support and stories, you are all an inspiration Love you guys :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:


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## lxb

:wave: Welcome ADR! I am so sorry to hear about the miscarriages. Hope u will bet ur bfp soon and that it is a sticky bean. :hugs: feel free to vent all you want here and we will try our best to cheer you up and to support you. :)

Pino - yes I found u on fb! Will send u a pm! :) not sure if it is a good idea to take all those you have listed here. :shrug: I am glad that you are looking forward to having a healthier life and create a wonderful environment for your new baby to come :happydance:


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## Pino6161

lxb said:


> :wave: Welcome ADR! I am so sorry to hear about the miscarriages. Hope u will bet ur bfp soon and that it is a sticky bean. :hugs: feel free to vent all you want here and we will try our best to cheer you up and to support you. :)
> 
> Pino - yes I found u on fb! Will send u a pm! :) not sure if it is a good idea to take all those you have listed here. :shrug: I am glad that you are looking forward to having a healthier life and create a wonderful environment for your new baby to come :happydance:

I accepted your friend request!! I thought the same thing, but I am glad I found a solution!!!

How are you doing??


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## lxb

Still waiting to O! Haha... Eh asked earlier... "r u ovulating?" :haha: he's clueless... I guess me too?? Opk is still negative today... Maybe tomorrow! Will be Oing w/ country? :shrug:

How r u?


----------



## Pino6161

lxb said:


> Still waiting to O! Haha... Eh asked earlier... "r u ovulating?" :haha: he's clueless... I guess me too?? Opk is still negative today... Maybe tomorrow! Will be Oing w/ country? :shrug:
> 
> How r u?


Aaaawww so sweet. I have kinda laid on the DL about ovulation and stuff with my OH, lately he seems really interested LOL:happydance: I am glad he is wanting to get more involved. I think he is just ready for the end results. I hope you get your OOOOOOOO LOL. I am worrying more about the health of things to go hard core next month!!! I am ready for AF to come and it just ended LOL. I am trying to relax and get my house finished LOL redecorating is fun, but boring at the same time LOL.:dohh:
:hugs:


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## preg_pilot

Tiny update.
Still no AF :) Testing in 2 days :)


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## lauren26

Welcome, ADR! I'm sorry to hear about your mc's. I agree with Sashimi--it's just not fair that after all that work and excitement it can end like that! You will certainly find support here :) I'm almost 27 and we are on our 11th month TTC. This month is blood work month for me!

Pino - I think the only one I would be cautious of, like I said, is Vitex because it can suppress FSH. I would just do a little more research into the herbal remedies if I were you! Also, you chart, right? I have been able to see a few patterns from my chart that led me to the vitamins I'm taking. For example, B-6 (I think--I take alllll the B's!) to lengthen LP. The ones I know that are ESSENTIAL are a prenatal with plenty of folic acid, and prenatal DHA, preferably a fish oil vs. flax seed. Dr. Oz says that every woman planning to have a child, whether now or in 10 years, should be on a prenatal DHA (prenatal version because they are more careful about eliminating heavy metals like mercury). Apparently taking prenatal DHA reduces the risk of autism by 40%. I take a prenatal, prenatal DHA, 100mg zinc, the B complex, B-12 (2000mg?), vit E, Calcium & Magnesium, and vitamin C. I was doing selenium, too, but I think it didn't agree with me. Good luck! I know how the vitamin crazies get...

preg - That's good news!! What CD are you on now?


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## Pino6161

Preg-Pilot--- yaay for no AF!!

Lauren---- I do take a prenatal DHA w/folic acid. THatis all I have been taking though. I just got out of an appt. with my Dr. and he said that Vitex has had some side effects, but in most cases it is a positive effect. He wants me to take it for a month and then go in for an appointment during my next ovulation.

I found this on a forum, and it is similar to what my dr said "I have just read the stream on Henrietta's page about vitex and I have to take issue.
I have been using it for years in patients and never had a problem. 
Granted you need to look at a person's diet, and that is why advice on this forum can never be complete and a visit to a practitioner is by far the best course of action.
However, I think to look at Vitex as a progesterone stimulator is the first mistake.
As far as I am concerned Vitex works on the pituitary gland to balance all the sex hormones, so you end up with the hormones in the right amounts rather than stimulating one particular hormone.
Second, it would seem most of these people on Henrietta's forum had taken OTC vitex that most likely has been stadardised and they give funnny results sometime.
Then I would never use it on its own, always as part of prescription, taken on its own on the morning, but then a second mixture supporting it.
I have even given it to an unsuspecting teenage boy with acne and it worked a treat!
Surly after 20 years in practice I would have seen some problems, but realy I haven't."

My Dr. said that taken alone is what makes it less effective and cause the problems. When taken with other things, and then gave me a list LOL it creates a balance. He said that the FertilAid creates a great balance of all natural balance.

IDK I think it all depends on your body. I think I will start taking it next cycle in the FertilAid and then just play it by ear.


----------



## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> Welcome, ADR! I'm sorry to hear about your mc's. I agree with Sashimi--it's just not fair that after all that work and excitement it can end like that! You will certainly find support here :) I'm almost 27 and we are on our 11th month TTC. This month is blood work month for me!
> 
> Pino - I think the only one I would be cautious of, like I said, is Vitex because it can suppress FSH. I would just do a little more research into the herbal remedies if I were you! Also, you chart, right? I have been able to see a few patterns from my chart that led me to the vitamins I'm taking. For example, B-6 (I think--I take alllll the B's!) to lengthen LP. The ones I know that are ESSENTIAL are a prenatal with plenty of folic acid, and prenatal DHA, preferably a fish oil vs. flax seed. Dr. Oz says that every woman planning to have a child, whether now or in 10 years, should be on a prenatal DHA (prenatal version because they are more careful about eliminating heavy metals like mercury). Apparently taking prenatal DHA reduces the risk of autism by 40%. I take a prenatal, prenatal DHA, 100mg zinc, the B complex, B-12 (2000mg?), vit E, Calcium & Magnesium, and vitamin C. I was doing selenium, too, but I think it didn't agree with me. Good luck! I know how the vitamin crazies get...
> 
> preg - That's good news!! What CD are you on now?

CD 28 today.
No AF yet as of 10pm.
Fingers crossed :)


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## lauren26

Preg - yay!! Stay away, AF!

Pino - wow that's great news! I have always taken it alone and maybe that's the problem. I do think I'm going to give my acupuncturist the go ahead on Chinese herbs this month. Also, how cool that your doc is prescribing herbal supplements!

Afm, I think that I might just go ahead and O early! I got a half positive today and I'm only 9dpo--usually I don't get that much color until 12dpo and then 14dpo get the super dark line. Does anyone know why on earth I would O early?? Is it bad, lol? I guess it might be nice to get to the TWW sooner...country, I wish we could average our O wait time! Did you guys take advantage of those nice dark lines you got yesterday? :)


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## Pino6161

Preg_Pilot---- So glad ther has been no AF!! My fingers are crossed for you!!!

Lauren---- I prefer to go at all of this naturally, which is why I told her no persriptions... She has gone out of her way to research what is best with no artificial nothing! I love it!!
Are you taking anything different to make O come early? less stress maybe? IDK they say that more stress postpones O maybe less makes it come early LOL. Your cycle might just be changing though due to everyday things. Yay for a shorter tww though.... keep us updated!!!


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## lauren26

I am not taking anything different...I have heard stress can make it come early, too, but I don't think that's it--I'm more inclined to go with your theory that less stress makes it happen earlier, lol. Either way, I'll take it!

So I got some EWCM too...we were planning to wait til tomorrow to BD per SMEP, and since I don't have a + yet it's probably safe to wait, right? Or should I just jump on the ewcm train? Lol. I am inclined to wait just so the swimmers are at super strength but I'm scared to miss O! Maybe I'll test again tonight.


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## Pino6161

lauren26 said:


> I am not taking anything different...I have heard stress can make it come early, too, but I don't think that's it--I'm more inclined to go with your theory that less stress makes it happen earlier, lol. Either way, I'll take it!
> 
> So I got some EWCM too...we were planning to wait til tomorrow to BD per SMEP, and since I don't have a + yet it's probably safe to wait, right? Or should I just jump on the ewcm train? Lol. I am inclined to wait just so the swimmers are at super strength but I'm scared to miss O! Maybe I'll test again tonight.

I like my version better too LOL. I would test again tonight and BD just in case. You don't want to miss it right?? Just tell OH to warm them up and have them ready LOL JK:happydance:.


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## haribo813

Hi ADR, sorry to hear about your MCs but pleased you've found this thread, everyone is really nice.

Sashimi thanks so much for your reassurance on the transducer! Just wondered-do you know if it matters if we BD on the morning of the appt? Think I am O'ing about now but might want to give it some leeway, just to improve chances but balancing that against embarrassment at lots of sperm wriggling around!

Lauren, what did you do in the end?! I am not sure I have the patience to do SMEP-whether you waited or not I'm sure it's fine. We all know your OH has strong swimmers!

In relation to vitamins I just take the pre-natal supplement. I have a 28 day cycle so think maybe my hormones are out at wrong times of the month if this is my 10th cycle-looking forward to the blood tests and hoping they shed some light-but would be great if I could cancel the appointments entirely cos I have a BFP!

Just found out a friend of my sister's is in her 30s and is pregnant accidentally (sigh). If only ladies!!!

Anyway think it's a box set evening...Will let you know how my scan goes tomorrow eve, hoping they don't find anything sinister.

Preg pilot I have all my fingers crossed! xx

ps your descriptions of what you all look like and guesses made me laugh!


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## Pino6161

Haribo--- I am sure your appointment will go great tomorrow.. fingers crossed. :hug: :hugs:


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## Pino6161

Today has been hard so far.

I went to Cattleman's to get lunch for my husband, and the lady said "Happy Mother's Day" and handed me a rose. I almost cried. I'm feeling kinda down. As a plus I called my mom today. She lives in OK I miss her alot. Hopefully we will move up there within the next 2 years!


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## ADR

Keeping my fingers crossed for you Preg!


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## treasured

Hi gals :) 

welcome ADR!! good to have another friend to add to our list :) so sorry to hear about your m/cs :( glad you are still keeping on trying though and just gotta keep your chin up!! 

saundra- woohoo, got you on facebook now yay, love that we can get a little idea of each others lives! we are soo far away from each other! Hope your feeling ok :) soo upsetting about the mothers day thing, i HATE when things like that are brought up! I was at a clothes sale and picked up the cutest furry bear hoodie for newborn and the lady was like would that fit your wee one... and I was like... ummmm, maybe if i ever had one :( 

how is everyone today? I'm a little confused, im 13dpo and took another OPK this evening and it is a lot lighter than my previous tests. Does this mean I might have already O'd. None of my tests have been dark enough to be positive though I thought. Could it just be cause its later on and there is less LH in my urine?

xxxxx
 



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## lauren26

Pino - I had a bit of a hard time, too, though not as hard as I'd suspected it would be! I did feel jealous of my SIL and BIL--they were just beaming with pride about their three beautiful kids at the Mother's Day brunch we had with them and my parents-in-law. It was sooooo easy for them to get pg 3 times. I feel like I'm immasculating (sp?) my husband by not getting pregnant! I know that sounds dumb, but my BIL is just so smitten with his mini-him. My new nephew looks JUST like him. I just felt guilty, weirdly! Sorry you've had a rough one. :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Treasured - Maybe you missed your surge and you took the OPK when you were coming down from it? 

Lauren - Yay for O'ing early. I always love when that happens. It's like a pleasant little surprise and then enter the TWW, lol. 

Preg - Realllllly been thinking about you today. Can't wait to hear from you! 

Haribo - I'm sure your scan is going to go juust fine. I hope everything comes out good and that it isn't too uncomfortable. 

Pino and Lauren - I hear you on it being a rough day. I didn't realize how emotional I would be. I definitely cried the entire ride back from my parents. We literally had 4 friends announce their pregnancy today, either through Facebook, text message or a phone call. Plus with it being my niece's birthday party yesterday, there were tons of babies and young kids around. And you know how nosey everyone was asking whether I had an announcement to make. So difficult today. Praying that this time next year, we will all have little babies in our arms or bellies :hugs:


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- I know what you mean by feeling like you are emasculating your OH. I feel the same way hopefully soon we will all get our chance!!!
Sleepy--- Sorry about your bad day. I am selifishly glad thatI am not the only one that had a bad day though. It makes me feel less lonely.

:hugs:


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## preg_pilot

Tested... bfn...
next test on thursday if AF stays away.


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## Pino6161

preg_pilot. I am sorry to hear about the BFN. I am holding out hope for you though! Keep us updated.


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## lauren26

preg - keeping my fx! 

I keep feeling like I'm going to O early but I haven't gotten a + yet. I have had super fertile CM and my CP is changing...maybe I will just have a bigger fertile window this month.

In other news, OH and I are going to New Orleans in two weeks! Super excited.


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## hermione1

Hi there, Im in exactly the same boat! I am 30 and been trying for nearly 8 months no luck. Signs of my AF today too, so feeling pretty sad! The 2 week wait is horrible and then feel so deflated!


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## haribo813

Hi Hermione and welcome, we all hate the 2ww so you are in the right place to have a moan!

Lauren-yay to your New Orleans trip, exciting! Know what you mean about emasculating OH but as our partners have fine sperm counts I feel it reflects more on my useless, barren self rather than my OH, sniff sniff.

Sleepy, sorry that you're in that window of baby announcements. And Pino, know how hard it is-it's so tough. On Mother's Day here all the mums were brought boxes of chocs when we were out for lunch, and my mum and sister got one then they brought one over for me before I had a chance to say, i'm not a mum! I didn't want to eat the chocs as felt like I might jinx having a baby. My boss announced the pregnancy of her 2nd child today-she got pregnant on her honeymoon and then in 2nd month of trying. I am happy for her but it's not surprising you start to feel paranoid about yourself. Still these things are sent to test us and test us they do!

Treasured-i can't offer any advice on OPK stuff, sorry. I use the clearblue monitor and don't know anything about thicknesses of lines etc. Hope things are clearer tonight.

Preg pilot, you are so still in with a chance, your AF really is late, keep us updated!

I went in today for tests and after waiting an hour, they said it was all fine-womb, both ovaries, cervix, uterus, nothing to note about fallopian tubes-am really pleased. Guess it's now just the blood tests next month for the time being. I have officially entered the 2ww, wish me well and send me some welcome distraction! Thanks again for all your help and support.
xxx


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## SleepyOwl

Welcome Hermione and ADR! This thread is great and everyone is so supportive. You are definitely in the right place. 

Preg - Sorry about the BFN. I am still rooting for you though! 

Lauren - New Orleans!! So fun. Going for any particular reason or just relaxing and taking a vacay?

Pino - Don't worry, I feel better too knowing that I'm not alone in how I feel. Makes me not feel so crazy! 

Treasured - Did you POAS again? Is the line any darker/thicker? 

How's everyone else doing?


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## Pino6161

Hermione Welcome!!! 

So today was def. better. I have been painting ALL day, so keeping busy for sure! I want to thank everyone for their support yesterday. It was a hard day. So as I have mentioned before my brother's wife is having a baby in 6 weeks. He is edging his family out, and it has my mom really upset. She did not get invited to the baby shower. I didn't expect to cause I am so far away, it just bothers me how upset my mom is. It's not really fair since he is 2 years younger than me, and in no terms financially stable. I wish I could just slap sense into him!!!


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## SleepyOwl

Haribo - Glad to hear that your tests went well! That's a relief I'm sure. I hope this two week wait brings you something extra special at the end (not you AF!). Lol!! Hopefully you got in lots of BD'ing this weekend. You're on your way!

Pino - That's crazy. I'm sure your mom appreciates you listening and being there for her even if you aren't close in proximity. Hopefully someone will knock some sense into your brother soon!


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## SashimiMimi

Haribo, I've gotten back to you too late. I don't think it makes a different if you BD the day before you get probed by the ultrasound. You might have found it uncomfortable, but probably saw it's pretty easy.

As for me, it's been another whirlwind of fertility visits. Saturday's appointment showed that I had 8 follicles developing, if all were to be released it could mean IVF. So they cut my medication in half and today's appointment showed only 5 follicles. So I think I will have ovulation induced tomorrow with a trigger shot, and then we will do the IUIs this Wednesday and Thursday. Of course, this is WAY earlier than I expected to do it. We are talking CD10 and 11 here. So I'm pretty overwhelmed by another unexpected turn of events, but I'll go with it. I hope that five follicles means I have a better chance at getting a BFP! 

This is absolutely the worst week for both OH and I to be doing this. Both of us are insanely busy at work and I'm not sure I will even be able to make my acupunture appointment after work on Thursday, but I'm not going to stress about it until I cross that bridge. I look at it this way: For my first two IUIs I went home and did nothing for 2 days. This time I will have to go back to work and face two, very busy days in a row... So maybe that is a good thing. If I went home and did nothing before and had 2 failed IUIs maybe I need to go to work and be intensely busy? I'm trying to see the positives!

Some of you may recall, that OH put me in touch with the wife of a work colleague who has studied nutrition. She went through two years of TTC with 3 MCs and 3 failed IUIs. She did a major overhaul of her diet and got a BFP after six weeks of changing her nutrition. I will copy and paste what she wrote... Keep in mind that lots of people get BFPs on all sorts of diets, but this is just one example that worked for this particular person if anyone is interested:

"The diet consists of eliminating: all sources of gluten (includes wheat, oats, rye, barley etc) all dairy except organic natural yogurt (no sugar added) all meat (only organic poultry and fish allowed) all caffeine and alcohol, processed foods (especially those with added sugar) added sugar, saturated fats and soy (except fermented soy eg soy sauce, miso, tempeh)

Things you should eat: fish, poultry, eggs, beans, grains like quinoa, millet and brown rice, lentils, chick peas, fruits and veggies, organic yogurt, nuts and seeds, almond milk.

For exercise: you should exercise but for no more than 45 minutes 3-4 times per week and not too intensely. 

A few sources:
The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis
The Toronto Centre for Naturopathic Medicine (handouts from my naturopath)
The Pregnancy Miracle by Lisa Olsen

There are some differences between the sources in terms of which fruits and veggies are best, but I just eat any fruits and veggies. The idea behind eliminating gluten and dairy is that in many women they cause inflammation which prevents conception. Red meat causes an acidic environment which prevents conception. Caffeine is known to have detrimental effects on pregnancy, and alcohol has been found to decrease the likelihood of conception. Saturated fats, unfermented soy and added sugars increase estrogen production. 

I would also strongly recommend that you see a naturopath, who will give you acupuncture to promote correct uterine function, may recommend some supplements/herbs and advise you further on nutrition and lifestyle changes. 

While I have little doubt that the diet and acupuncture worked for me (fingers crossed!), I know it doesn't work for everyone. I truly hope that it works for you.

@Lauren: On the topic of decaf, this one is for you!

"I personally avoid decaf coffee. The processed used to decaffeinate coffee involves some fairly nasty chemicals. I stick to caffeine-free tea. I have found my energy levels have naturally picked up since being on the diet (I am still on it, at least until the end of my first trimester.)"

Well, I'm up at the crack of down tomorrow to go back to the fertility clinic. I honestly could not believe how busy it was today. I got to the clinic 30 minutes after it opened at 7 a.m. and I was the 31st person in line. I didn't get out of there until after 9 a.m., so I guess I'm not the only one in this city struggling to get my BFP. 

I'm trying to remain optimist, although I do have my "what if" moments. But I figure with 5 follicles and doing injections that are giving me a thicker lining, this is my best chance yet!


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## Pino6161

SashimiMimi---- Thanks for sharing!! I will have to try that.I have gone 3 days w/ no caffeine, sugar, and bread for 3 days. I'm on a roll LOL. Good Luck.... I really hope this works!!! :hugs:


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## lauren26

Welcome, hermione!

haribo - I do NOT think that you're barren :) But I know how you feel! I'm glad to hear all your tests went well, too! That means it's just a matter of time, as lame as it is to have to wait. 

Sleepy - My OH had time off of his job anyway, and needs to practice flying (he finished a fear of flying class recently), and since I don't have a new job yet we thought it would be perfect timing. He's never been, and I loooooove the south! 

Sashimi - Thanks for sharing the list! Some of these are things I've heard but sort of ignored, but now that they're coming from a reliable source I'm all over it, lol. The wheat thing is the one I've tried particularly to avoid hearing. But honestly, I've cut back on wheat all on my own, somehow, over the past month. I live in the absolute best place to eat wheat-free--the stores and restaurants here all offer so many non-wheat options. I am surprised to hear about the red meat thing. Not surprised about the fat and sugar (though those are hard to give up, too!). I'm relieved that decaf isn't so great for us, lol. I'd so much rather just have half cup of regular. That sounds exciting and nutty that you're getting the trigger shot so early in the month. I'd definitely say that, with 5 follicles, you have a great chance! 

Afm, my OPKs are now starting to get lighter....I didn't get a full +, but maybe I got close enough? I have suspected for a while that I may not ovulate every month, but it seems like I wouldn't have a temp rise after if I wasn't ovulating. Hm.


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## countrygirl86

Welcome hermoine and ADR! :wave:

preg_pilot - Fingers crossed! Any more symptoms?

treasured - I had a few sticks that had some colour but not dark a week or so before my real positive so you may not have missed it! 

lauren - sorry to hear you had a bit of a rough patch on Mother's day. My brother and SIL came with their newborn and DH held her and I could tell they had a little 'moment' and it tore at my heart. At the end of it all, it's no one's fault, though I know it can be easy to blame yourself. Woohoo for Oing early! And your trip!

Sleepy - that's a lot of BFP annoucements in one day! I have a lot of faith you'll have either the baby or the bump for Mother's day 2013 :)

Sashimi - thanks for taking the time to post all that good stuff about nutrition! Unfortunately I was lost after all gluten, all dairy and all meat lol I eat healthy but portion control rather than cut things out. I'm intrigued by the exercise though, only 45 mins 3-4 times a week and not too intensely? Sounds good to me! So excited for you, this cycle will be very quick for you and with the best chances!

pino - good job keeping off the caffeine, sugar and bread!

Finally I think I've O'd! I had positive OPKs Friday and Saturday and my temp went up slightly today. I'm not concerned about catching the egg just relieved to be in the 2ww (never thought I'd say that!). This cycle is going to be very long for me though so I'm glad I'm going to see my dr at the end of it/beginning of the next.


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## haribo813

Really interesting on the diet stuff... Sashimi I think being busy will work in your favour as time goes quicker and you're less inclined to think about TTC stuff which can only be good? Really hopeful for you this cycle round.

Sleepy, thanks for your message!

Country, great news that you've O'ed, it's always a relief. And now on to 2ww for you...

Lauren, sorry your temps etc are confusing, why do you suspect you aren't O'ing every month if your temps increase? Don't let Toni Weschler's book unduly concern you, I'm sure it's v rare when you get thermal shift...?

Pregpilot, are you still waiting til Thu?! Excited!


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## lxb

:wave: Welcome Hermione ~

Sashimi - thanks for sharing. Like country, I was lost after all the gluten/dairy/etc. Recently gotten into baking certainly doesn't help in that department~~ As for exercising.. I manage to exercise once a week if I'm lucky! haha... I'm depending on 2 of my girlfriends to go workout together! We're each other's motivations but too bad.. we're all oh-so-lazy!! Did you get my email regarding kauai trip? Maybe it ended up in the junk folder again. I think I was a little all over the place while writing that email and wrote what came to my mind while trying to remember the trip. :blush:

sleepy - ah... BFP announcement are just harsh. My sis just got her BFP for her #2 and I was filled with envy!! Talk about mixed emotions~ And just yesterday I asked how long has she been trying for her #2, and she told me since January. :( (which is only ~4 months?) She got preggo pretty fast with her #1 also. I feel so happy for her as I'll be an aunt to another young life... and my niece (her #1) calls me "auntie-mama". But at the end of the day... I'm still not her real mama. :cry:

lauren - New Orleans sounds awesome~~~ enjoy yourself~ :)

country - I had a +OPK on saturday as well. Think I O sunday/mon, not sure as I didn't get to temp on Monday (yeah.. due to that long story from my journal~). Yay for tww buddies~ & hopefully bfp-buddies! :hugs:

preg_pilot - a week late is a great sign! hopefully you have a little bean inside of you!! :happydance:

haribo - tww buddies! :) great news about your tests as well. I was reading about "The Great Sperm Race" earlier and watched a documentary on that. It's just crazy! I feel bad for those :spermy: that they really had to race for their lives :haha: And just goes to show timing is everything. And ~1/5 chance in success every cycle. 

Ladies, our time will come :hugs:


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## lxb

Also meant to say Pino, great job on the no caffeine/sugar/bread. I have NO idea how you did it! I need my sugar~~~~~


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## Pino6161

lauren--- My guess is that you do ovulate, but your body is not as obvious as most. I have heard a couple cases like this. Your body is just more subtle.

country--- yaaay for the O!! My fingers are crossed that the 2ww treats you nicely :wink:

So I have a MAJOR migraine today. My house looks like a vampires cause it's so dark LOL. My pills aren't working. So I have a question for all of you guys.... it hjas been a while since I used preseed, and now I remember why. The feeling bothers me. It's like I out it in and while having sex I feel like air is pushing into me, especially if he pulls out for a second. Does anyone else feel this? It almost makes me waant to quief... Sorry TMI


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## Pino6161

lxb--- thanks. quiting the caffeinne, and stuff was alot easier than I would have thought, way much easier than quiting smoking


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## treasured

Hey ladies!

I didnt OPK today but BD this morning so even if I O'd its fine :). Had no EWCM today but had an extremely sore head and felt really sick earlier... Swear if I hadnt had periods this month I would have thought I was preg :(... 

country- wooo glad you have O'd and are pretty certain when! why does it have to be such a confusing thing? haha!

how is everyone else doing? anyone else close to testing yet like preg? p.s WHERE IS SHE and how can she resist testing everyday lolol! 

also welcome hermione!! xxxx


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## preg_pilot

countrygirl86 said:


> preg_pilot - Fingers crossed! Any more symptoms?

Not really. Cramps, backache and boob soreness are all receding every day. 
My gums bled when I flossed this evening though. Interesting.
AF definitely not here yet, and doesn´t feel like she´s coming.



haribo813 said:


> Pregpilot, are you still waiting til Thu?! Excited!

Yep. Testing early thursday morning :) Only 32 more hours to go.



treasured said:


> anyone else close to testing yet like preg? p.s WHERE IS SHE and how can she resist testing everyday lolol!

Still here, still waiting.
What I do, is I don´t by a pregnancy test until the day before, that way I can´t be tempted to test earlier than decided ... works like a charm.
Though I almost go to the pharmacy every day to buy one for the next day.
If I had them at home, I definitely couldn´t stay away from POAS.
What really keeps me from testing every day, is the fact that I´m living with my mom this summer, and I´m not ready to tell her I´m TTC just yet, so I do this on the days I stay home, and she goes to work. ;)


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## Pino6161

I am so excited for you!! I am the same way when it comes to POAS. If I buy a pack with more than one, I find myself doing them each day, even when I say I am going to wait.

I am ready for Thursday LOL you are keeping me in suspence!!


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## ADR

Still have fingers crossed for you Preg!!

Took my last Clomid pill yesterday, let the BD'ing begin..... Every other day for the next 10 days!!! Wish me luck guys!


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## lauren26

haribo and pino - The thing that is different is just that last month my test line on OPK was darker (by a lot) than the control line. This month I'm not even close, but I think that just means I won't O early. The reason I thought I would is that I was getting half-darks on 8 and 9 dpo, and usually don't until 12 or 13, and also was getting EWCM and wet CM. I suppose it just means I'm getting more CM, which is great! Anyway, the temp rise is consistent so I'll just go with it, lol!

country - Whew for being in the TWW!! I have super fx for you this month :) I am excited for you to have an appointment, too. I am sure everything will be fine, but maybe they can help you get to a shorter wait time before O. 

preg - You are smart not to stock up on pee tests!! That's my downfall, lol. Even when I KNOW I'm not pg (like right after my period!) I will test if I have one. I cannot resist. I will be waiting excitedly for your result!

lxb - Thanks for the reminders that our BFPs will come! What is Great Sperm Race?? Sounds awesome and interesting. I tried to watch The Miracle of Life on Netflix but it wasn't on instant so I immediately forgot about it, lol. 

treasured - Sounds like you've got some good progesterone symptoms going on! Yay! TWW!

pino - Migraines SUCK. I'm sorry to hear that!! I wonder if it was triggered by the elimination diet? Either way, bravo on cutting that stuff out--I did that for a while (sugar, alcohol, caffeine--for about 4 months) and felt amazing and got crazy skinny. It was awesome! Except for the part where I couldn't have coffee, sweets, or beer...

ADR - Start the BD engines! Lol. 

Thanks for the vacation wishes, y'all! I am going to work out at least an hour every day until it comes, which is VERY soon! I need to get bathing-suit ready, lol--because I'm NOT right now. I just took the aerobic weights class I've been skipping for two months and I feel amazing! I forgot about that endorphin rush after a workout. I love it.


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## SleepyOwl

Country - So happy you got dark lines and a temp rise!! Hope you SMEP'd til the end girl. 

Preg - You have some serious willpower. I would totally give in and test everyday. I am seriously hoping you get this BFP. We need another BFP on this thread and I've got a good feeling that it's you!

Sashimi - Thank you for all that helpful advice. I have really slacked this cycle and need to get back to by TTC diet. Are you certain what day your next IUI will be? 

Lauren - NO will be SO fun. They have suuuch good fried seafood there. Yummm!!! Sounds like you O'd early this cycle. I feel like you def. O'd, but it's a lot more subtle this cycle. 

ADR - Good luck with the BD'ing! I'm right there with you. Every other day til I O starting today. 

Pino - I can't say I've had the same experience with Preseed. I just feel like I'm leaking which I don't really care for. Generally though during O time I have TONS of EWCM. Are you planning on using Preseed this cycle? Also, I hope your migraine is better. Those are just the worst!!

LXB - I hear you on the auntie-mama. My niece has a name for me in our language but always adds Mama to the front. It is SO sweet, but it breaks my heart because I'm not a mama. You're in the TWW already? Lucky girl!! I hope this is it for you :)

Treasured - Where are you in your cycle? Pretty close to O day I'm assuming!! 

AFM, CD8 today and plan on starting SMEP tonight. I have absolutely no EWCM though which is annoying. Usually I have a ton starting CD8 onto CD12, but whatever. I'll definitely be whipping out the Preseed tonight!!


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## Pino6161

lauren---- I usually don't get alot of ewcm so that's why I am using the preseed, but I really don't like it. I suck it up though LOL. Anything for the results right?


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## lauren26

Pino - Hahaahaaaaa. I don't like it, either, but I use it because my CM is scant--I usually only get one day of EWCM and it's not on O day. It's like 2 or 3 days before (lame!). We used it yesterday and even though I lay flat for 30 min after I got tons of leakage!! I got really discouraged. I also used a softcup the time before that we BDed and I'm pretty sure it captured all of OH's sperm so that I pulled it all out when I took the cup out, lol. I am sort of ready to throw up my hands and give up this cycle!! Oh well. Hopefully enough swimmers made it despite my experiments...The month I had a chemical we used a lot of PreSeed, which is why we started again. It def. gives me weird sensations and sort of lingers so that I can't tell what's PreSeed and what's CM the next day. 

Sleepy - I don't like seafood but OH does!! It's good, though, because I def don't need fried food right now. I have SO slacked on the TTC diet, too! I have had a beer almost every night this cycle :blush:. I missed it!! That's the biggest thing, though. And forgetting to take some vitamins here and there...Haha.


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## SleepyOwl

Umm I've totally forgotten my vitamins the past two notes! I also had two margaritas and a glass of wine tonight celebrating OH's promotion at work. I don't care though - we're having a good time and I haven't O'd yet so I feel like it's okay!!


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## Pino6161

Your allowed to have some fun LOL! Have a drink for me, annd tell your OH Congrats even though he doesn't know me


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## Pino6161

I am really emotional right now. I am watching one of my favorite shows "Private Practice" I am watching a woman giving birth to a child with no brain. She has chosen to donate this babies organs. It's hard. What would you do? It's technically murder,but then again the baby will die eventually? Is it wrong?

I hate to day it, but if I had to do that. To carry a baby for 9 months that I know will not survive, I would do everything I can to save others. Opinions.

:hugs:


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## ADR

Thanks sleepy! Wishing you luck as well!!


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## SleepyOwl

Pino - I've been keeping up with that show as well but couldn't watch lately because of that. SO sad. I have no idea what I would do - such a terrible situation.


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## lxb

Sleepy - have fun with SMEP! :happydance: You'll be fine as you're having a good time and celebrating. A friend of mine got preggo on their honeymoon. I was just looking at her album earlier and saw some champagne in her pictures too~ so you'll be okay~ Oh yeah, congrats to your OH's promotion! :happydance:

Lauren - The Great Sperm Race is an interesting documentary, I watched it on youtube. It gives a perspective of the sperm! and its journey :haha: it's quite interesting.. and I feel bad for them at the same time.

Pino - Such a terrible situation. Like Sleepy, no idea what i would do either. A lot of people ttc and saying they want a boy/girl. I guess deep down everyone has a gender preference. But the most important thing of all, is a healthy baby.

Yep~ I'm officially in TWW! DH still thinks I'm Oing though :haha: I guess I am 2DPO? :shrug: I was feeling great about this cycle 2 weeks ago... but over the weekend/today... Just feel like this is not it either. Why am I so negative? I guess I'm just feeling emotionally drained.


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## preg_pilot

ADR said:


> Still have fingers crossed for you Preg!!
> 
> Took my last Clomid pill yesterday, let the BD'ing begin..... Every other day for the next 10 days!!! Wish me luck guys!

Thanks :)
Have fun with the SMEP ;)



lauren26 said:


> preg - You are smart not to stock up on pee tests!! That's my downfall, lol. Even when I KNOW I'm not pg (like right after my period!) I will test if I have one. I cannot resist. I will be waiting excitedly for your result!

That´s exactly why I don´t buy any before the day before. I have tomorrow´s test ready now. Counting down the hours.
Still no AF, still feel good. Backache is almost gone, cramping almost gone, my gums bled yesterday. Feeling hopeful, but doubtful and pessimistic at the same time. I´m afraid to hope.
If it is a long cycle after all, I´m afraid that I´m out for the year. I have a chance until the 15th of june, and I only see my OH for a week each month, it varies which week that is...



SleepyOwl said:


> Preg - You have some serious willpower. I would totally give in and test everyday. I am seriously hoping you get this BFP. We need another BFP on this thread and I've got a good feeling that it's you!

Thanks, I hope so too :dance:


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## lauren26

Sleepy - Congrats on your OH's promotion! Love when that happens :)

lxb - Yay for being in the TWW! I have the same feelings some months--at the very beginning of last month I felt like I knew it wasn't the month. Hm. I don't know why I go there, either! Either it's intuition or just negativity...it's hard to tell the difference, for me. I am totally going to watch Great Sperm Race right now!


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## lauren26

preg - Fx Fx Fx!!!! How late are you?? Some women don't get a + for a few weeks after AF is due. Hopefully you'll get yours tomorrow, though!


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## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> preg - Fx Fx Fx!!!! How late are you?? Some women don't get a + for a few weeks after AF is due. Hopefully you'll get yours tomorrow, though!

21DPO, about 8 days late now. FX :D


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## SleepyOwl

Okay I love that The Great Sperm Race. It was the first time I realized how difficult it was to get pregnant. I actually showed it to my husband back in Feb and he thought it was silly. Last week he brought it up and said that was when he realized it wasn't easy. Totally thought he wasn't paying attention, but turns out it beens a nagging little thought in his head for the past 3 months! I think maybe that's why he's so into when I'm ovulating now, lol!!


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## treasured

Ok so before I begin moaning...

preg; SO excited for you to test, 8 days late is amazing! you neeed to be our BFP to keep ourselves happy and positive haha! lots of luck to you :dust:

sleepy; i think Im going to O today, i'll explain below

So... Im 16dpo, and took an OPK earlier and got a dark line, not quite as dark as the control but i think I will probably O in the next 24 hours. It wont let me upload a pic right now but I'll put one on my blog later.

So me and OH BD'd yesterday morning, and I was all set today to get down to it again knowing that I had the best chance today! and OH decides oh no he cant be bothered. I tried to convince him, and was trying to explain how important ovulation day was but it wasnt going to work. I mean I understand that he just might not be up for it, but im just annoyed that hes fine to do it whenever he wants to and the one day that really matters he cant be botherd!! We are unable to do it tonight as we are both busy.... :( Im just so upset that ive been waiting 2 weeks, bought OPKS and everything and now our chances are probably gone! 

He also told me to stop obsessing and stressing out about it which I know I should but he was saying that this kind of thing can ruin relationships! I was like aahhhhh Its not like im asking him to do it 5 times a day.... I thought he wanted it as much as I do but he just doesnt get how important this time is! Now we wont get to BD till tomorow night and by that time the egg might be lost :(. 

Its really put me in a bit of a bad mood now because I feel like all my efforts have been wasted. :cry:. 

Anyway, rant over, im off to the gym to work off some anger lol. 

Hope everyone else is ok :) 

xxxx


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## lxb

Treasured - :hugs: you'll be okay. If you BD yesterday, those spermys will be in there for 3-5 days, so they'll be ready for the eggy when it is ready. BD tomorrow night will be good too as it gives time for ur OH's spermys to develop~ Once you O, the eggy will be good for a good while giving time for those spermy that will come. Try not to stress over it too much (easier said than done, i know). But force BD only because it is O day can completely ruin the mood and wont be as 'fun' as it should be. Maybe next time try not to tell OH it's your O day but try to seduce him? :haha:


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- I went through the same thing a couple months ago. Many people say it is imature not to keep OH in the loop of ovulation, but it's just easier. He feels like he is on the spot when we say you have to have sex with me today so i can get pregnant. It makes them feel like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. I know it's stupid they don't go through what we have to, but as my OH told me it's like "what if I don't get the right sperm" So I decided to leave him out of the loop and do the seductive routine LOL. I hope your day gets better. There is still time today for the best sex of all---make up sex LOL

preg_pilot--- my fingers are crossed for you!!


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## countrygirl86

lxb - how are you doing in this tww? Yay for being buds! I'll have to check into this sperm race lol I'm sure my DH will be interested in it too! You definitely have the right to feel emotionally drained girl! Try to have some quiet time just yourself if you can, you deserve it.

preg_pilot - great job at holding off testing. Hoping its just taking time to give you a big bright BFP tomorrow! 

ADR - good luck! BD your little heart out!

lauren - thanks for the super fingers crossed, in the super moon, super O month! Hopefully it's a super BFP for some of the ladies on here :thumbup: lol @ your 'experiments'!

Sleepy - we did pretty well keeping up with the SMEP, I feel good about the BDing (lol obviously:blush:) but not overly optimistic! I'm sure you've got SMEP down pat now, hope this time does it for you! 

Pino - I really don't know what I would do. I didn't see the show but find those shows tend to stretch what could really happen. I don't understand how a baby could live at all without a brain? Toughie!

treasured - I've been through that a few times with my OH. I've learned that if he doesn't want to even though he knows it's that time, it's not meant to be. I tell myself that a baby is supposed to be the result of making love, so if he's not into it, its defeating the purpose! It's still very frustrating to go through the whole cycle gearing up for that just to lose a chance. You may still be ok BDing when you get your next chance though (and the last ones could still be hanging around...)

Well now that I'm in the 2ww we're going to start practicing for next cycle lol Hoping it's a little shorter though! Thanks for all of your excitedness for me! Just throwing this out there, have any of you discussed adoption with your OH's? Infertility is a very real possibility for us so it's always been in the back of my mind but DH doesn't even want to discuss that. I think I would want to be a mom regardless of how we had a kid...


----------



## lxb

DH & I have actually discussed about adoption. Looking at today's world, there are numerous babies that were abandoned and needing love. And why not give a child an opportunity to a different life. An opportunity for us to change someone's life. They didn't have a choice and certainly didn't choose to be born.


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## treasured

Thank you ladies you have made me feel a lot better about it! I try not to pressure oh into it and not mention ov but he even asks me when I am so I feel I have to speak about it. Country your totally right though about it being meant to be when we both want it! It's just more difficult for us gals to be all whatever aboutit I guess! It's just so annoying thinking it's a wasted chances. I kinda wanted to be we to say we'd done everything possible! I supposetheres no way everything can be perfect. Thanks though gals you've cheered me up! Xxxx


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## Pino6161

Country--- It actually does happen. i know a women that was pregnant with a child w/no brain but usually they want to do a D&C no matter how far you are. A child can survive because it still has a brain stem. But because they can't do regular functions they pass on quicker than normal. IDK

lxb--- We have talked about adoption also, but as bad as this sounds, I don't know if I could. Knowing that the child is not mine is part of it, but mostly I grew up with just a father and he married my step-mother when I was 6. I consider her my mom, and I always will. Watching my mom go through the pain of explaining to me and my brother that she wasn't our real mom etc. was hard. Then as we got older we got curious about our birth mother. It was really hard on her. I just don't know if I could take the pain of it myself. I know it sounds stupid. Just like I wouldn't want another women to surrogate for me. Knowing thst she gets to have the 9 month bonding with my child. I am a very jealous person. IDK


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## preg_pilot

treasured said:


> Ok so before I begin moaning...
> 
> preg; SO excited for you to test, 8 days late is amazing! you neeed to be our BFP to keep ourselves happy and positive haha! lots of luck to you :dust:
> 
> sleepy; i think Im going to O today, i'll explain below
> 
> So... Im 16dpo, and took an OPK earlier and got a dark line, not quite as dark as the control but i think I will probably O in the next 24 hours. It wont let me upload a pic right now but I'll put one on my blog later.
> 
> So me and OH BD'd yesterday morning, and I was all set today to get down to it again knowing that I had the best chance today! and OH decides oh no he cant be bothered. I tried to convince him, and was trying to explain how important ovulation day was but it wasnt going to work. I mean I understand that he just might not be up for it, but im just annoyed that hes fine to do it whenever he wants to and the one day that really matters he cant be botherd!! We are unable to do it tonight as we are both busy.... :( Im just so upset that ive been waiting 2 weeks, bought OPKS and everything and now our chances are probably gone!
> 
> He also told me to stop obsessing and stressing out about it which I know I should but he was saying that this kind of thing can ruin relationships! I was like aahhhhh Its not like im asking him to do it 5 times a day.... I thought he wanted it as much as I do but he just doesnt get how important this time is! Now we wont get to BD till tomorow night and by that time the egg might be lost :(.
> 
> Its really put me in a bit of a bad mood now because I feel like all my efforts have been wasted. :cry:.
> 
> Anyway, rant over, im off to the gym to work off some anger lol.
> 
> Hope everyone else is ok :)
> 
> xxxx

Thanks, I´ll do my best to get my BFP tomorrow ;)
Otherwise, this is probably my last chance of the year (and the first...), depending on when I get my week off in june, and if it happens to coincide with ovulation. If not, I won´t even be in the same country as my OH during O... lol much?


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## lauren26

treasured - you definitely have a great chance, having BDed yesterday and Oed today! Sounds perfect! Even if you give it one more go tomorrow, too, I bet there will still be a chance. I just saw someones FF ph chart who BDed four days before O and got pg.

Country - I hope you guys get as many options for parenthood as you want! That said, I think it's smart to entertain the idea of adoption, at least we thought we should srsly consider it even before TTC in case we couldn't have kids. In an ideal world, my OH would only adopt, bur since I want kids naturally, too, he is delighted to go that route. Our compromise was to have one naturally, then adopt, then have one, and so on, lol. OH wants to try and have a couple first naturally for age and financial reasons. I really think it's important to talk about, though. My mom wanted 5 kids and my dad wanted 1. After me he refused to have more with her. She still resents that they didn't agree or come to a compromise! I am with you, lxb, there are SO many kids out there who need families. At the same time, I'm scared I wouldn't love "someone else's" kid as much as my own. OH has tons and tons of experience with kids so he has no doubt he could love any kid. Country, I hope you guys are not infertile but I also thinks it's awesome that you're open to adopting! I know a lot of people who are adopted and they and their families adore each other.


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## countrygirl86

That's so inspiring that your OH wants to adopt lauren! I would hate to regret not having kids (or more kids) so for me if it's a real possibility we can't have kids 'naturally' I know I'll want to adopt. I can't imagine my life without them, even if it's not my own. I've looked into it a little and it sounds like it's very difficult (and expensive) here but a friend of mine wants to have one of her own and adopt so I will definitely be following that journey closely. How many kids do you want?

SO, I was bored @ work this afternoon and decided to count how many BFPs we've had on this thread... 5!


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## Pino6161

I agree Lauren, it's just hard to wrap your mind around you know? I mean the thought of not able to have my own? Is that selfish? am I a bad person?


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## lxb

lauren - my DH suggested we should have our first kid naturally and perhaps open up the option to adopt our second kid. Reason being that we would already be parents and know how to bond with our kid as it is a natural process. If we adopt first, we might not know how to deal with it and accept it as our own. I remember he asked if I would be able to embrace the idea and take a child into our home. I, too, am also scared that I wouldn't be able to provide the unconditional love. I felt so selfish by thinking that. How can I think such thing when I know there is a child in need.

country - woo~~ 5BFP! I have a feeling there will be more soon~~~ :happydance:


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## lauren26

lxb - I think that is TOTALLY natural, and that was my reasoning, too. I want to go through the physiological and psychological process myself first so that I can really 'feel into' being a mom. I think that's smart when you're not totally sure about adopting! If I had as much experience with kids as my husband I'm sure I'd be more ready! Plus, if we want to have natural we might as well try for it first while I'm still 'young' and until we save up thousands of dollars, lol. 

country - I think it's great that you're so clear on what you want!! I want 4, lol, but we'll see about that! I know I mention $$ on this thread occasionally and that might be a taboo topic, but where I live the avg. home price is $650,000 so unless we want to move to another town or make some SERIOUS career moves, I don't know how we'd be able to have 4! I am an only child and definitely don't want just one. I did not like being an only. How many do you want?

Pino - No! You're not a bad person, lol. I think that it's really important to know what you're willing to do and what you think you'd be capable of. There are a lot of kids in need but there are also a lot of families who want and need to adopt. I really think that if it doesn't feel right to you then you shouldn't do it! :)

Question, gals: I have attached a pic of today's OPK, CD 13. Is it close enough to +?? No O-ing early for me, I guess! I am usually CD 14. I ran out of Wondfo so I went to Target and bought some of their brand and tested again when I got home. Soooooo negative! I don't know if it's just because I had recently peed or what. Anyway, what do y'all think? ALSO, for the PreSeed users: in past months we have used PreSeed and usually it seems to *prevent* leakage somehow. Today we BDed and I laid still for 45 min to allow the swimmers full access, lol. When I finally did get up and use the restroom, it seemed like EVERYTHING had come out! Sorry if that's TMI. Could it just have been a small amt of sperm mixed with a load of PreSeed?? I am worried I ruined our chance this month with too much PreSeed use! Esp after Sashimi said her CM blocks sperm! Oy. 

https://i1263.photobucket.com/albums/ii633/laurendartt/photo-11.jpg


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## lauren26

Now that I look at it this big it doesn't look + at all..


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## SleepyOwl

Hmm doesn't look positive to me either Lauren, but looks like it's getting really close! Maybe try to POAS again tonight and you'll catch your surge. Also, I'm sure it didn't all leak out! I know it feels like that, but I'm sure it was prob a mix of semen and Preseed. Those little guys know how to swim and I doubt they were just swimming in circles. Some of them had to be headed the right direction!

I have never talked to OH about adoption, but I have definitely thought about it. I've always been very open to the idea and I really do think OH would as well. Lauren - I always wanted 4 kids but the cost of living here is way outta control too. It has really made us rethink our plans because we need to be making some serious money to be able to provide for them. Part of me thinks that no matter what, if we had 4 kids, we would just find a way and make it work.


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## Pino6161

Lauren. I don't think there is any real possibility of it ALL coming out. It might have just been the preseed. I notice when I use it it all comes out it seems, unless i do a handstand lol. I was laying in bed thinking about it last night wondering if there was any way to just "tape it up" after BD LOL. 

It doesn't look like a full positive maybe tomorrow??

By the way, I was looking at the website given for SMEP, and I was wondering if I can still do that with the fertility monitor? I have tryed just BDing with no success.

Is there a such thing as too much sex? I mean sorry TMI Me and OH do it nightly/sometimes every other night. Except for when I'm on my period cause it grosses me out. We don't really do it just to TTC... is it bad? Do we need to stop BDing so much????


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## lauren26

Sleepy - Thanks!! I think you're right. I don't think my Target brand tests are going to show a +...I should have known. The first month I used OPKs I got the Target brand 20 pack and NEVER got a +, I totally freaked out! I wish I had just ordered more Wondfos. Anyway, I will try again tonight and tomorrow. I have 6 left so I might as well! You're in DC, right? I'm sure it's just as expensive as Boulder! Even with great jobs, by normal standards, we would not be able to afford a house here. We'd have to have really, really great jobs, lol. There are a lot of doctors, Google employees, and other techies here. Anyway. We are open to moving but it's such a big, big change. We are just going to wait it out a bit since OH loves his job. I am with you, though--we'd find a way to make it work!

Pino - I have heard that every day is not necessary, though we have done that most cycles. Of course, I'm not pg, so.... lol. I have heard that it dries CM and can deplete sperm to do it every day. Every other day is supposed to be perfect. Thanks for what you said about it all coming out, too! I recall other months where it seemed like nothing came out. Maybe because I wasn't using PreSeed! I also have had several days of fertile CM this month, which is really unusual for me, so it could be that too.


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## Pino6161

Thanks. I have learned though that my OH is difficult LOL. If I say I don't think that I should have sex everyday, and just cut it down a little, for some reason that's when he wants to do it LOL. He wants what he can't get, but who am I to say no


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## countrygirl86

Pino - just what lauren said, adoption isn't for everyone. Doesn't make you a bad person at all! If OH has low sperm count they say every other day is optimal but if everything is ok, everyday should be fine! 

Lauren - it definitely looks close! I had a brother growing up so would like at least two. I've always loved big families so more would be welcome but for now DH and I have agreed on 2. House prices aren't as crazy here. DH built our house and we wanted it to be our one and only for a long time so it has 4 bedrooms (master, two spares and an office, though our nephew uses one of the spares as his 'bedroom' at our house!). Once you have one kid you'll have a better idea of the costs, though with 4 daycare costs become so high it's often worth it for one parent to stay home! I also think you have a good chance this month. Leakage is totally normal, the spermies swim towards the goal and the rest is supposed to exit the building lol

lxb - hoping it's soon, we're WAAAY overdue for a BFP! 

Sleepy - I definitely just pictured 10 sperm swimming in a circle lol I have the same attitude, no matter what happens and how many kids we end up with, we'll make it work somehow!

preg_pilot - did you test??? 

Sashimi - Is your IUI scheduled? Did you O? 

I'm officially 3dpo, got confirmation from FF today! My temp was down but still high enough to be past that extremely picky O lol. How's everyone else doing, treasured? ADR?


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## lxb

country - I think i'm 3DPO too (or 4DPO) Yay for 3DPO! :dance:

I originally wanted 3 kids because I grew up with 2 sisters. DH wanted 2. 2 sounds like a good round number~ :)

"Leakage is totally normal, the spermies swim towards the goal and the rest is supposed to exit the building"
I worried sometimes too when it just randomly.. leaks. And I tried to calm myself down that we only really needed "1" .. :haha:


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## lauren26

....getting closer!...... Off to BD will write to you ladies soon :)https://i1263.photobucket.com/albums/ii633/laurendartt/Untitled.jpg


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## Pino6161

Lauren---- yaaaayyyy..... I love how you take a break to take a pic and share it with us before you go BD LOL. I love it!! :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - HAHAHA! So funny, this forum is like BD central I swear. I always want to sign on and tell you all right after I BD. That definitely is super close to positive. You're almost there girl!!

Country - Glad you got your O confirmation. Your house sounds amazing and how wonderful that OH built it. That is so special!! My OH can barely hammer a nail into a wall correctly, lol!!

Sashimi, ADR - How are you both??

Preg - Tested yet???! I'm dying to know girl!


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## Pino6161

Sleepy--- our OH's are the same LOL. I do the fix-ups of the house LOL.


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## preg_pilot

Sorry to keep you waiting guys...
I had to go to a fitting today, getting specialized hearing plugs fitted to my ear canal for work. Took a while, and I just got home now. Been running around all day.

I did test this morning, but I´m not sure if it was a BFN or not.
I used a 3-5 minute first response test, and after 3 minutes there was nothing.
At 4 minutes I cracked open the case, and I think I imagined the faintest line possible... sorry, but I forgot to take a picture. Was so completely absorbed, and then it would have been to late when the timer passed 5 minutes.
It might have been an evap...
I´m testing again on sunday (my next day off).


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## lauren26

Lol, this IS BD central!! I was excited--I thought I had a bad brand of tests. I am out the door again but will write to you all later! Excited that so many people are moving into the TWW.


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## Pino6161

I would just like to say I got me and OH's FertilAsid today!!! I am debating on starting it tomorrow or just waiting until next cycle. I am having a bit of what I think are O pains today, but IDK it might just be stress. Me and OH got into an arguement over finances today. It sucks. We meet with our lawyer next quincena... the 4th and I think it just has us both on edge. Things are a bit tight right now, just to make sure we have enough to cover the lawyer. Immigration is EXPENSIVE!!! sigh.... anyways our Healthe Trim will be here tomorrow or Saturday and we will start that come sunday or monday. so we might just start the FertilAid with it IDK


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## ADR

SleepyOwl said:


> Lauren - HAHAHA! So funny, this forum is like BD central I swear. I always want to sign on and tell you all right after I BD. That definitely is super close to positive. You're almost there girl!!
> 
> Country - Glad you got your O confirmation. Your house sounds amazing and how wonderful that OH built it. That is so special!! My OH can barely hammer a nail into a wall correctly, lol!!
> 
> Sashimi, ADR - How are you both??
> 
> Preg - Tested yet???! I'm dying to know girl!



Hey, I'm doing well... still BD'ing every other... should be Ov'ing in the next couple days.... FX'd


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## lauren26

country - LOL on exiting the building, and thanks for the encouragement! Your OH sounds amazing!! How special to live in a house that he built. Does he do construction for a living, or did he just know how to build? I feel you--there are definitely ways to make it work with more than 2! I know people who do, and if they can do it, we can all do it! Woohoo for 3dpo!!

Sleepy - SO funny that you want to tell us after BD! I usually want to, too...

lxb - I try to remember that, too--you only need 1!

Pino - Good luck with the lawyer. Financial arguments are stressful! Is your OH trying to get citizenship?

Sashimi - Are you officially in the TWW? 

Instead of O-ing early, looks like I'll O a day late, lol! Oh well. I messed up SMEP this cycle because even when I got - OPKs I felt scared that I would miss O, lol. If we don't get our BFP this month I'll try to be more disciplined next time around.


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## Pino6161

Lauren. Yes we are trying to get his citizenship, but who knew it would be so expensive and stressful..... Sorry SMEP got screwed up, but I am the same way!! I am so scared to miss the chance :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - Don't worry too much about messing up SMEP. At least you know you BD'ed enough!! 

Pino - What a pain all the immigration and citizenship stuff must be! I remember when we were trying to get our grandmother her citizenship, soo much paperwork and money. Good luck getting everything together - I hope it all goes smoothly!

My OPKs are getting close - think I'll get a + tomorrow. Which would be perfect, so I can give OH a break tonight. Poor guy was so tired last night, but I forced him! Not trying to miss a SMEP day right now.


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## Pino6161

Sleepy Thanks! I feel better today, except for lack of sleep. We were going to hold out on the FertilAid, but OH got anxious LOL so we both started this morning. I brokeand had a chocolate bar yesterday LOL I have been craving it!!


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## preg_pilot

SleepyOwl said:


> Lauren - Don't worry too much about messing up SMEP. At least you know you BD'ed enough!!
> 
> Pino - What a pain all the immigration and citizenship stuff must be! I remember when we were trying to get our grandmother her citizenship, soo much paperwork and money. Good luck getting everything together - I hope it all goes smoothly!
> 
> My OPKs are getting close - think I'll get a + tomorrow. Which would be perfect, so I can give OH a break tonight. Poor guy was so tired last night, but I forced him! Not trying to miss a SMEP day right now.

Ooh, FX for a positive tomorrow for ya :D


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## lauren26

I'm pretty sure my OPK was + today-- will post a pic later, lol. Anyway, I'm out of them now so I guess I'll just keep BDing and watch my temps! 

Pino - what is the FertileAid? A supplement? How exciting to start something new! When do you guys meet with your lawyer?

Sleepy - thanks for the reassurance! That helps. Lol on giving your guy a break! Mine hasn't complained yet but he's had the luxury of mid-day BD I suppose. Late night is hard. Fx for your + tomorrow! TWW buddies :)

Afm, I had acupuncuture yesterday for the first time in a couple of weeks and it was awesome! I missed it. I really really think it's improved my hormones and my chances of getting pg, too. I usually have 3 days of ferile CM and I've had like 7 this month! I can't recommend it enough, gals


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## Pino6161

lauren26 said:


> I'm pretty sure my OPK was + today-- will post a pic later, lol. Anyway, I'm out of them now so I guess I'll just keep BDing and watch my temps!
> 
> Pino - what is the FertileAid? A supplement? How exciting to start something new! When do you guys meet with your lawyer?
> 
> Sleepy - thanks for the reassurance! That helps. Lol on giving your guy a break! Mine hasn't complained yet but he's had the luxury of mid-day BD I suppose. Late night is hard. Fx for your + tomorrow! TWW buddies :)
> 
> Afm, I had acupuncuture yesterday for the first time in a couple of weeks and it was awesome! I missed it. I really really think it's improved my hormones and my chances of getting pg, too. I usually have 3 days of ferile CM and I've had like 7 this month! I can't recommend it enough, gals

FertilAid is the all natural supplement my Dr. recommended I bought it online cause it was cheaper. https://www.fairhavenhealth.com/fertilaid-valuepack.html. I have done research on top of research on it, and it has worked for many people, I am hoping it is the push we need.

I am still a bit squeemish on the thought of acupuncture:blush:, but IDK.... Is is expensive? Have fun BDing!!!


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## lauren26

Pino - My place has a sliding scale of $20-$40/session (which is cheap where I live). The herbs are usually $10/month. I HATE needles, but I don't mind this. I am usually a little nervous before she starts but then I'm fine. And once they're in you can't feel them. It's amazing!

Here is the OPK.... It's not completely + but pretty good for 10am I think! I am out of tests but will be able to tell tomorrow based on temp and CP if I've Oed, I think.

https://i1263.photobucket.com/albums/ii633/laurendartt/Untitled-1.jpg

LOL are you guys sick of seeing my pee sticks yet? :)


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## Pino6161

lauren, I might have to try, it just makes me nervous! Your OPK looks complete to me, but it might be because it's a picture. I would never get tired of seeing your pee sticks LOL! :hugs:


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## lxb

the test looks good to me! :happydance:


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## SashimiMimi

Hi guys! Sorry I've been AWOL! It's been an intense week, but we did the two IUIs on Wednesday and Thursday and I am officially in the tww!

I always feel really optimistic the first day of IUI and nervous the second day. I found it hard to hear my doctor talk about next steps, which would be the lap surgery. He also said that if AF shows up then I would need to come in for monitoring to make sure I don't have cysts on my ovaries. Apparently, the injections can cause this and I wish they had warned me about that in the first place. Sigh!!!!

Today I feel bloated, sore and nauseated. Called the clinic and they said this is normal because of extra fluid leaking into my abdomen from the 4 eggs. Poor OH got excited when I told him I felt like I was going to throw up and said , "maybe it means youre pregnant this time!!" He doesn't realize what implantation is and you don't get pregnant the day after you BD or do and IUI in my case!!!

Hope everyone is well! I'm exhausted but just wanted to log on to say hi to everyone. I will be around a lot more over the weekend!!!


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## Pino6161

SashimiMimi--- they really should have warned you about the side effects :hugs: I really hope this is your month, and that you won't have to worry anymore!! If you don't mind me asking... what made you do IUI? I mean what led to it, and how did you make the decision? My Dr. brought it up, but I am stubornly resistent. :hugs:

So today is officially the start of my diet. I woke up at 6:30 AM with a weight of 235 lbs. I took the Healthe Trim, and did half of my workout video (I couldn't do the whole thing) I am going to jump in the shower but you guys were more important!! :hugs:

So last night was great. Me and OH went to dinner last night and then came home and watched "Chronical" It was a good movie except it was all peopleholding video cameras I got a bit dizzy. Anyways we had really good :sex: last night:blush:. I have to ask though. After we BD I always lay down on my back, but I can't stay there long cause I always really have to pee! :blush:. I know you are not supposed to but I got to go I got to go right? Do you think this is what is hurting my chances? I always use the restroom right before we BD, but ever since I cut my caffeine, and sugar, I have been downing water like no tomorrow:nope:.

Anyways I found out yesterday that my SIL is coming today. Her daughter is about 1 y/o and Her son is 11. 


Spoiler
So I moved in with my OH in September of 2008, and my nephew moved in at the same time. My OH's family is from Caborca, Sonora, Mexico, so there is no English. So My SIL just let my MIL raise him. He was supposed to be going into the 2nd grade but got held back because he didn't know any English. So I taught him. The last 3 years I have taught him English, went to all his parent-teacher conferences and school functions, I helped with the homework. He was getting straight A's. I was SOOOO proud of him! My SIL only came every couple of months. He didn't even call her mom, he called her Morena (her nick-name) He called my MIL mom. The same thing with his dad. So then a little bit over a year ago Morena found out she was pregnant. Beto(my nephew) was 10. She decided that now that she was going to have a baby maybe she should have her whole family. Beto moved back to Mexico right after the baby was born, his mother decided he should go into the grade he was supposed to (a year ahead) and he failed his first year back. Iwas so upset. I had done everything to make sure he succeeded here, but while that happened he was not learning to read and write in Spanish, and Mexico's math is more advanced. I was so upset, not only did SIL get pregnant when he didn't even care about her own son, but was raising him, and trying to have my own. It'snot fare. I have been very civil to her though. As a gift, I bought her a beautiful stroller/car seat. The first time she came to visit with the baby, I was PISSED. The whole ride in the van/ shuttle to Tucson from Mexico the baby was on her lap! She was only 1 month old! All because she did not want to use the carseat I bought here so MIL bought her a used one for when she visits. Not Only was I mad because I spent almost $200 on the set, but it is so DANGEROUS. I was LIVID. My spanish maybe horribly broken, but I translate decently LOL:blush:. So I vented for as whole week to my OH but he didn't have the guts to day ANYTHING. So I went next door, and I sat my MIL and SIL down. I told them that the next time that she comes, and when I drop them off things were going to be different. I told them that if that baby was not in a car seat when I picked them up, I would take the kids home, and they can find another ride to Marana (an hour away). I was not putting them in danger, and if they don't care about the kids they can walk their asses back. When I dropped them off, same thing. There is NO reason in the world to have 2 carseats! They got mad, but I didn't care. Not even a day after I told them this, we all went shopping. I was on the freeway. MIL in front seat, nephew, neice, and SIL in the back. I look back, and SIL had the baby out of the seat to feed her a bottle. I pulled over, right there on the freeway. I told SIL that if she didn't buckle that baby into the seat to get out. It was dangerous. I mean what if I got into an accident, it happens all the time. On top of that it was illegal, and I am the one that would have gotten in trouble. She goes on to say that the baby like to be held when fed. I said I don't care lock her up or get out! She was mad, but I was pissed!! Things have blown over since. After she left I was at work about 3 weeks later, and it turned out that my BIL(he has 3 kids) and one was really sick, and in the hospital. SO my MIL called my OH and asked if I could take her to the bank to send him money to help out w/ the hospital bills, it was urgent. So I got off work early to take her.(She doesn't know how to drive a standard, and doesn't like driving anyways) On our way there I ask her why they need the money, and tried to find out what was going on. She goes on to tell me that my SIL wants a car and so she is giving her the money for one. I blew up. She lied about what the money was for, and I got off work for what I thought was an emergency!! Anyways my in-laws are very selfish. It's all about them. So they bought a car, to come back and forth when they visit, and when the visit it is for months and my MIL pays for EVERYTHING clothing, food, shoes etc. It makes me mad the my SIL is such a mooch. My nephew is about to do his first communion, and thats why they are coming. MIL bought his clothing for it. My nephews English is going down the drain as well it really frustrates me. Sorry this was so long but I really needed to vent LOL
So anyways, I am picking them up, and then going shopping, cause I really need groceries. I love seeing my neice and nephew, but I really don't like my SIL, but I hide it well around them. The jealousy over the baby is subsiding, but IDK. Oh and you want to hear the weirdest part::::

Mother's Name:: Hadahara
Babies name: Hadahara
Dad's Name: Juan
Nephew's Name Juan

I mean obviously there are alot of Jr's for males...But who in their right mind names their kids after each other. How weird.... Sorry, venting again:blush:

Thanks all for listening!! :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Pino!!! Thanks for the support. The reason we did IUI is because my doctor performed a test called a cervical insemination or C.I. where a drop of OH's sperm is mixed on a slide with a drop of my EWCM at the time of ovulation. The slide is put under a microscope which is hooked up to a TV screen and this shows whether or not the sperm can actually break through the CM. In our case they could not, and we could literally see the sperm swimming up to the CM and then turning the other way. If you google this, you might see the term "hostile CM" but my doctor doesn't like that term. He said it could be a number or reasons such as the CM is too thick, or it's a chemistry thing where it just doesn't jive. By doing th IUI you bypass the CM completely and our doctor felt this was our best route for getting a BFP. So the first IUI we did was unmedicated and I Oed naturally. The second was with femara and I produced 2 eggs on that, it was bfn as you all know. The third go, obviously was with those outrageously expensive injections, and I produced the 4 eggs and OH had an even more insanely high sperm count. We are cautiously optimistic.

My doctor couldn't say for sure if the hostile CM is why we havent gotten a bfp, because there is no telling if this is happening every month but he suspects it probably is. 

I just went out for breakfast with OH and 3 pregnant women walked in at the same time. Sometimes I feel like the universe is pointing its finger in my face. OH is feeling really optimistic for this month, but I had my hopes up last cycle and it was such a heartbreak.

I'm seeing my niece and nephew today and they are both such miracles it reminds me that miracles DO happen!!!


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## lauren26

Pino - I always have to pee right after, too. I manage to lay still for 30 min, but it's tough for me! I'm a pee-er. Good for you for getting on a new regime!! It's tough at first but then it feels so good! 

Sashimi - I bet your OH was feeling even better about his super gold medal sperm! I watched the Great Sperm Race last night that lxb mentioned (I think) and they were claiming that men have a sperm count of 300 million....I think that's very generous for the average male! Anyway, I hope this is it for you. I understand not wanting to get your hopes up. I feel similarly. I am very optimistic about this month because my acupuncture has leveled out my hormones so nicely, but also (especially after watching Sperm Race!) realize that it might not be it this time, either. Anyway, I hear you--this is a big cycle for you and OH. Either way it goes, I'm glad you have a Hawaiian vacation afterwards! When do you find out?


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi - Definitely good chances for you this cycle, but I totally understand not wanting to get your hopes up. I hope you don't have to go through with the lap surgery. Is it possible to not do that and do something else, or is it sort of the next step in the process and something that's required? Have fun with your niece and nephew today! 

Lauren - That test looked pretty positive to me. Yay for BFP's...even if it's only an OPK. Preparing you for the real thing hopefully!! And no, I'll never be sick of your pee sticks or anyone else's for that matter. Sometimes before I go to bed I Google BFPs. I know. Ridiculous. 

Pino - That sounds rough. I hope your weekend goes alright and that your SIL doesn't act reckless with the baby and the car seat. That is really ridiculous!

Preg - Are you testing tomorrow? I can't remember which day, but I'm anxiously awaiting!


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## lauren26

Sleepy - I do the same thing!! I think that if I get used to seeing BFPs it will somehow make 'seeing' mine more possible! Sometimes during the TWW (since I'm a POAS addict...) I just can't even imagine ever seeing the double lines appear--when you've never seen them on your own stick it can be hard to believe! I got a + before my chemical, but I only noticed it after the time limit and was already having AF/mc at that point so I didn't really get to have that moment of excitement and knowing that it's possible. Anyway, I'm with you on loving pee stick pics! Lol.


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## Pino6161

Ok so i was looking at another string that i follow on here and there is a women that has been trying since march 2 MONTHS and she was saying how hard ttc is etc and bam got her :bfp: i mean how is that fare!!! I know i sound horrible but jealously eats me. besides i AM hot and cranky. I have been waiting for an hour for my SIL to show :nope:


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## preg_pilot

Sashimimimi, and lauren :) Good luck this cycle :)



SleepyOwl said:


> Sashimi - Definitely good chances for you this cycle, but I totally understand not wanting to get your hopes up. I hope you don't have to go through with the lap surgery. Is it possible to not do that and do something else, or is it sort of the next step in the process and something that's required? Have fun with your niece and nephew today!
> 
> Lauren - That test looked pretty positive to me. Yay for BFP's...even if it's only an OPK. Preparing you for the real thing hopefully!! And no, I'll never be sick of your pee sticks or anyone else's for that matter. Sometimes before I go to bed I Google BFPs. I know. Ridiculous.
> 
> Pino - That sounds rough. I hope your weekend goes alright and that your SIL doesn't act reckless with the baby and the car seat. That is really ridiculous!
> 
> Preg - Are you testing tomorrow? I can't remember which day, but I'm anxiously awaiting!

Yep. testing in about 12-14 hours now :)


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## treasured

Cant even explain how im feeling at the moment.... worst day.

Just got a call from my best friend an hour ago telling me that shes pregnant. Shes just been seeing a guy for like a month, not serious and she didnt even want kids :( Didnt use protection on a couple of drunken nights and BAM there she goes. HOW EVEN? 

She says shes deffinately goin to have an abortion cause the guy shes with doesnt want kids and shes not in a stable relationship or anything, and of course i am the one that has to talk to her about it and listen to her telling me that her dark lines appeared within a second :( and they only didnt use protection a few times. 

ohh im just so frustrated that its been 8 months for us and nothing, and then ihave to deal with hearing this :( im now starting to think there must be somthing seriously wrong with me :(

I dont know what to do now im so jealous and feel so deflated! 

what should I do girls? 

hope everyone else is good xxxx


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## lauren26

Ladies, I have had at least some amount of EWCM for eight days. Eight!!!!!!! I def had a + OPK the other day and my temp was way up today...doesn't CM dry up right after O?? Could I have missed O even though my temp was up? I have heard that sometimes the body releases a 2nd egg within 24 hours of the first, and twins run in my family so it could be that, but I'm kind of freaked out! I have been doing PreSeed this month....each time I've noticed the EWCM I think that it could be leftovers from the last BD, but I always count back and it's been 24 hours since BD each time...Could it be sperm that much later? Does anyone else have EWCM at 1dpo? I don't know why I'm freaked out about it, I just am! I usually only have 3 fertile CM days, and this month I've had so many. 

treasured - :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: That SUCKS! I'm sorry you've had to deal with that. I don't know what you can do--are you comfortable enough with her to tell her that you want to support her but that you feel triggered and need to take it easy with the pregnancy/abortion convos? That must be so hard to hear--I'm sorry!!


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## lauren26

How is this already the HARDEST TWW EVER? I am only 1dpo!! Dangit!!


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## SleepyOwl

Treasured - I am sooo sorry you have to deal with that. I can't even imagine. I'm not sure what to tell her, but maybe something like Lauren said. Does she know that you're TTC and that this would be very difficult for you? It is so frustrating that people who are in no way ready get BFPs quickly and we are SOO ready and have to wait so long. Nothing is wrong with you - don't even think like that!! You are getting your BFP no matter what. :hugs:

Lauren - I think I have had EWCM at 1DPO, but it was just like a little bit leftover, not a significant amount though. Don't be too freaked out, maybe just wait and see at 2DPO if you still have it? Also could it be because the acupuncture and your hormones have balanced out that you produced more EWCM this month/for more days? Either way, it's a good thing and you could always BD to be safe :)


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## Pino6161

SashimiMimi---- I am sorry you have gone through all of that, but your story really is inspiring. It's better to know now right?? I mean at least you know why if my Dr says the words "unknown infertility" I will puke!

SleepyOwl--- She wasn't sitting in a carseat AGAIN. I snapped so instead of me translating I got my nephew. I pretty much said I was done, I would take them home, but find another ride. She was pissed. Turns out they are going to send the carseat with them back to Caborca. I am a bit relieved, but IDK I will NOT have this on my concsonce

PregPilot--- I am so excited to hear/see your test! :winkwink:

Treasured--- I know what you mean I always say I am Prochoice, just don't tell me what you choose. I don't agree with women who get abortions, I could nver even think about it! I really hope your day got better! You deserve your :bfp:! :hugs:

Lauren-- there is usually CM that late, but not so much that you can notice, and not so much as it still looks like EWCM. It sounds good to me...wow twins??? LOL I never really get EWCM myself so I might be nuts LOL :dohh: :hugs:

So my day got a bit better after venting, I am sorry for you guys having to see it. So I have been taking my vitamins for 2 days and something weird happened today. I have an app on my phone that tracks my periods. Well It say I am in my fertile days and I ovulate tomorrow. Well I started having crams, nothing horribly painful but noticable. Well I sat there on the bed talking w/ OH cause we started the weight loss pills today and so we were just taking it easy this month and going hard core next month. You guys will probably call me stupid, but I feel like having a baby in March is my sign. January-sister/OH 
February--Mom 
MARCH---??? 
April---niece 
May---FIL 
June--niece 
July--nephew 
August Me/MIL 
September---brother 
October---Dad
November---brother 
December---Christmas

Anyways we talked, and we didn't have :sex: it goes against EVERY grain that I have!! What if I missed my chance? It hurts:wacko: 

Does this sound weird? The thing is I have never really thought about it this way, until earlier this week. IDK I might just go wake him up...:blush:


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## preg_pilot

treasured - I´m so sorry :hugs: 
here´s a bunch of :dust: for you for this cycle, I def have some to give away now...


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## preg_pilot

Oh, and I got my :bfp: this morning...
Feel like such a cheater :blush:

:dance:


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## lauren26

Yayyy!!!!! Preg, it's about time!! Congratulations!! That's so incredible that you got it in your little window of time where you could get it! Have you told OH yet? Or anyone else? Congrats!! Now please tell us every single symptom you've had and everything you did different this month. Why do you feel like a cheater?? BFP is the goal for everyone, after all! Lol.


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## lauren26

Pino - Did you guys skip BD because you want a March baby? You probably still have a chance if you BD today, if you change your mind. 

Sleepy - I think/hope you're right! I do feel healthier and more on track, hormonally. I looked back at my old charts and I do have some fertile CM at 1dpo (silly me!). I was just shocked a the # of days in a row, but I guess I can't complain! And I'm sure I Oed since my temps are still up etc.


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## SashimiMimi

Congrats Preg!!!! That is amazing news and it's really inspiring. You were worried about the timing of getting a BFP based on your job, and here everything has worked out in your favour. Way to go!

Lauren, I just looked back on the charting I've done over the past year on my iPeriod iPhone app and there have been a couple of occasions where I had EWCM a few days after O. I also have found that my EWCM naturally comes a few days BEFORE O and then almost disappears during O, then might come back for a day. I wouldn't worry too much about it, as it is probably just leftovers! However, it seems those of us in the TWW are all having a hell of a time. 

I'm feeling a lot better today. Had a great time visiting with my family yesterday and actually talked to my grandmother about TTC and the fertility procedures we have been doing. She told me that she actually had a still born baby and a miscarriage prior to having my mother. She grew up in Germany and left to come to Canada after WW2 and the second she came here, she got pregnant with my mom. She said looking back the timing wasn't right because life was terrible during WW2 Germany. 

It also made me realize that there are things far worse than long-term TTC. It's one thing to TTC for several months without results and it's another thing to experience a MC, but to get your BFP, carry your baby to term and then experience a still birth... I can't even imagine that kind of pain. 

Treasured - I can definitely imagine how hard it must be to hear about your friend getting a BFP so easily and an unwanted one at that! I guess we all have our own paths, some will have to make decisions about unwanted pregnancies and others, like us, will struggle to get that wanted pregnancy. I think you could definitely confide in your friend and explain that you are struggling to get PG and while you are her friend and care for her, you just aren't in an emotional place right now to help. 

I had to really spell out what this "emotional place" is all about to OH last night. On the car ride home after visiting my family, he brought up that we really need to see our friends' new baby. Now I have mentioned in previous posts that the wife of this particular friend has inadvertently been somewhat offensive with my TTC. When I first started TTC and did acupuncture for my first 4 cycles she rolled her eyes and said we just needed to...wait for it... "relax." At Christmas, she loudly asked if I would be having wine because surely I MUST be PG by now because it only took them 3 months to get a BFP and even though she is 39 she has the fertility of a 15 year old. Then we had them over to dinner after our first IUI and she kept asking if I had any news, and why was I drinking water? Did that mean something? 

Anyway, I don't think the wife means to be offensive at all. She hasn't struggled with fertility in the way I have, so I think she simply doesn't know that asking if I have any news is annoying. I think she probably thinks she is just being a good friend by asking, and I can totally appreciate that. I told OH that I just can't visit the new baby during this TWW because I am finding it is the hardest one yet in 11 cycles. I feel a lot is riding on this cycle and I need to feel emotionally protected. I would be happy to visit the baby after we return from our trip at the end of June, but cannot do so before then. OH got irritated with me and told me that I was incredibly selfish and rude, and was like Okay, fine. I'll tell them why we can't visit them then... Then reminded me that they are our friends and we should support them. So I said, I'm your wife... how about you support me. I had to explain how different TTC and BFNs affect me differently than him. He doesn't have to have the invasive procedures, he doesn't have to inject himself with fertility drugs, he doesn't have to show up for the bloodtest and have the nurse call him to say it didn't work and he doesn't have to get on the wait list for exploratory surgery. So if I feel more pressure than usual this month, he needs to understand why. Also, I'm incredibly busy at work and can't visit them during the week. Next weekend will be a few days before my PG test and I'll feel too vulnerable. The weekend after I have too many things to do to prepare for our trip and if the results are not in our favor, well then I'll be too heartbroken to deal with not only seeing someone else's new baby, but also I KNOW they will ask and I can't deal with telling anyone outside of this board what we are going through. 

I'm sure you have all experienced people who don't understand TTC struggles say offensive things, even if they are unintentional. For example, someone recently said to me that it was obvious the Universe does not want me to have kids with my OH because my CM won't get his swimmers through. Then he suggested I adopt... Well you have to go through a hell of a lot to even get on the adoption wait list and even then there is no guarantee. I do not feel adoption is my path and I found it really irritating this friend said that, not to mention we haven't even been TTC for a full year. Other girlfriends of mine, don't know the difference between IUI and IVF and believe they are the same thing. (I'm sure I thought that once upon a time too.) But they say things like wow, you must be broke doesnt that cost thousands of dollars? Or if they hear I'm taking fertility drugs they say, Aren't you worried you will end up like Octomom? *Bangs head on desk*

Anyway, when I explained to OH how I was feeling he totally got it. In any other case I would be there for our friends and be supportive, but I just feel I have earned the right to be a little selfish and "rude" this month. I will be testing most likely on Wednesday May 30 and I'm still trying to figure out how I can handle getting what ever news comes to me while I'm at work, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it. 

I think the good news for all of us is that we are all young, we are all healthy and there is nothing medically wrong with any of us. And if it turns out there is, medical technology can fix it. So we WILL get our BFPs, it's just a tough lesson in patience.


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren we posted at the same time again!!!!! And by the way, I've had more EWCM certain months than others... sometimes it has been scant and sometimes it has been abundant. I think it just depends on how much you have inside, not what is necessarily coming out. The injections made me have an unreasonable amount of EWCM. To the point where I did a silent scream when I sat down to go to the washroom!


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## treasured

Lauren/sleepy/pino- thank you for hugs :) i want to be a supportive friend which I am trying to be, offering to go to the clinic with her and stuff, but cant help but be jealous! she doesnt know im TTC so not her fault that she wants to talk to me about it and its harder cause I dont want to say anything to her about my trouble with it all! 

preg- omgggg <3 finallly! so glad someone got their BFP this month :) so happy for ya xxx


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## SleepyOwl

Yay preg! So happy for you!!!! Like Lauren said - tell us everything you did! Keep spreading the babydust :happydance:


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi - Sorry to hear you are having such a rough go this time around. After you explained how you felt to OH did he seem to understand? It really is so different for them emotionally. I know my OH didn't understand why I would be upset around other pregnant women either. You definitely have the right to be "selfish" although I don't think you're being selfish at all. You're in an emotionally vulnerable place and deserve all the time and space in the world to deal with your feelings. I'll be testing around May 30 as well - my 3 year anniversary. Here's hoping we all have lots of great news at the end of this TWW.


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Sleepy!!! Here I am posting at the same time as you as well!! I'm glad to hear that we will be testing on or around the same day. I hope you get a well-deserved anniversary present of a BFP. Our 3 year anniversary is July 4 (not a holiday here in Canada like in the US), and I am really keeping Fx that I will have a BFP in time for our 3 year wedding anniversary AND 1 year TTC anniversary. 

Yes, OH totally understood once I spelled it out. I got really upset when pregnant women kept walking into a cafe we were eating in yesterday. I get very nervous and uncomfortable around other pregnant women and he always says Stop putting so much pressure on yourself!!! I don't think he will ever fully get it to be honest, but he tries his best. 

I think OH is most concerned about what to tell the friends. It's been an ongoing joke throughout our relationship that he makes up silly white lies to avoid disappointing someone when he can't get together with someone or plans fall through. I always say why don't you just tell the truth, that would be easiest. The most recent one was that he had to cancel a morning tennis game on the weekend we did our second IUI. I can understand he wouldn't want to write: Sorry, can't make the came. Have to go deposit a sperm sample at a fertility clinic and wait with my wife so she can be artificially inseminated. Next weekend maybe? HAHA!! What he actually said to the tennis friends was that he had fallen and twisted his ankle the day before and couldn't stand up. LOL!!! This actually made me crack up. Especially when he got a long email from the friend about how sorry he was about the "twisted ankle" and provided a long list of advice on ways OH could alleviate the pain!!

Sleepy, thanks for not thinking I'm selfish for not wanting to see someone else's baby. I think I needed to hear someone say that. We feel enough guilt through the TTC process, why feel anything extra!


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## lauren26

Ladies, I only have a moment because we're about to leave for my niece's 7th birthday party, but I wanted you all to know I'm thinking about you and I'll write to you later! And ALSO wanted to tell you, Sleepy and Sashimi, that May 30 is my test date, too!

More later. Be sweet to yourselves :hugs::hugs:


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## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> Yayyy!!!!! Preg, it's about time!! Congratulations!! That's so incredible that you got it in your little window of time where you could get it! Have you told OH yet? Or anyone else? Congrats!! Now please tell us every single symptom you've had and everything you did different this month. Why do you feel like a cheater?? BFP is the goal for everyone, after all! Lol.

Thanks :)
OH already knows, he was there when I tested this morning. I think that´s why I couldn´t get my :bfp: sooner... the baby was waiting for us to be together to test or something. Also told my best friend. She´s 18 weeks along now.
You can actually read my entire (though short) journey on my TTC journal in my signature, but here is an excerpt. 

CD1-5 : Nothing going on, just waiting patiently.
CD6 : Painful cramps, probably O
CD7 : Started doing OPK's - those never showed me a positive though.
Also started taking Fructus Femina which supposedly helps the egg stick.
CD8 : Started doing the SMEP. Feeling warm.
CD9 : Started drinking warm milk with 2tsp honey, and a sprinkle of cinnamon. 1 cup every day. Feeling warm.
CD10: Very moody and hormonally alive :) Very warm.
CD11: Vivid dreams, feeling different (as in good). Still feeling warm.
CD12: Change again: Felt cold after 4 days or warmness, and all the symptoms manifested. Queasy, headache, very hungry, pressure in lower belly, heartburn and cramps. A sense of grounding in my lower belly.
CD13: Feel generally pregnant, still queasy.
CD14: Queasy, couldn´t sleep well, 
CD15: Queasy, painful twinges in boobs and lower belly, nerves overloaded a few times for a second (felt kinda amazing), grandma called to tell me about a dream where I was really happy about something.
CD16: Queasy, sense of a little lump down there, cramping, sleepy.
CD17: Queasy on and off, Cramping, increasing pressure, twinges in my left boob, starting to get sore, sleepy. Also, more CM than usually for me.
CD18 : Cramps starting to hurt my back, queasy, gassy, lots of CM, sleepy. 
CD19: Cramps changing, moving lower and stinging more. Queasy. Less CM. Sleepy.
CD20 : Queasy on and off, twinges before 2pm, then gone, feel a lump down there. Gums bled in the morning. Slight cramps in the evening. Constipation. (yay). Sleepy.
CD21: Vivid dreams, cramps gone, just a feeling of something down there, still tired. Sensitivity to everything. Touch, smells, tastes.
CD22: AF like cramps, felt more like strings after a workout. Tired.
CD23: slight cramps, some CM, a pressure down there and a slight backache.
CD24: tiny queasiness in the morning, slight cramps, slight backache, lots of CM. Bloated and sleepy. (found a plug type CM in my undies today, looked like dried clear glue).
CD25: queasy 1-2 times for a short while, slight pain down there, backache, boobs hurt like hell in the evening, feel bigger. Sleepy.
CD26: slight cramping, slight backache, lots of CM. Sleepy.
CD27: slight cramping, slight backache, Sleepy. Just feel pregnant.
CD28: cramping more painful, back more painful, danced zumba and felt weird down there when dancing, noticed a difference when sitting in the hot tub, feels like my belly is trying to float up out of the water, sleepy. 
CD29: back killing me, sleepy, boobs overflowing a bit and sore, stomach sticking out in the morning (hasn´t been like that before), cramped a little bit in the evening.
CD30: cramps, backache, sleepy, headache, another vivid dream, really hungry today.
CD31: sleepy, slight cramping, slight backache, boobs twinging and sore, gums bled in the evening. Don´t really feel that AF is coming any time soon.
CD32: sleepy, and slight pain in my lower belly.
CD33: feeling cold these days - got a faint line on a test today, didn´t think it was a positive though.
CD34: slight cramping every once in a while
CD35: everything gone except the sleepiness.

My boyfriend took Zinc and Selen (basically prenatals for males), and I took Prenatal vitamins, extra folic acid, (2000mcg until I got my Positive HPT).

Sorry this was so long...

And I feel like a cheater for getting pregnant on my first try... everybody here is so brave, and have been trying so long...

*SashimiMimi*
I think you need this: :hugs:


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## haribo813

HUGE congrats preg pilot on being preg! So nice that OH was there too, so exciting! Am delighted for you and wish you a very happy and healthy 9 months. Don't feel like a fraud, you've worked hard for your BFP and now's the time for you!

Thanks for your day by day info too-it has been some month! It is very interesting! Also bizarre that different people have such different experiences-my sister and really good friend had no symptoms at all and couldn't believe they were pregnant so ended up taking a few tests to be sure!

Treasured-I know you haven't told anyone you're TTC but after about 6 months I ended up telling my mum, sis and 2 really good friends and have felt a lot better. They are really supportive when i need them to be but don't bring it up unless i mention it and would never tell anyone else. Wondered if you might want to think about it? I am so pleased i have and they don't ask what could be insensitive questions about it and it has brought us closer together. What do you think about telling a few trustworthy close friends/family?

Ah Sashimi-it sounds like you are having a tough time. I think you are definitely doing the right thing by not seeing your friend and her newborn-it's amazing how different we all feel at different times of the month so it's good to be honest with ourselves. Fingers crossed you'll be in a way better place with a bean in your tummy when you actually do go round. Yay to Hawaii very soon too!

Lauren-the EWCM is a weird thing isn't it? I think the others are right-it's hard to tell if the amount coming out is indicative of what is actually inside. I have had a few cycles where there's been loads post O and has made me think-did I time it wrong? But temps and an OPK can't both be wrong. It's probably a good thing to have lots of the stuff. 

Excited for all your 30 May testing!

Pino-hope the diet's going well, good luck with it and i'm sure you'll start to see improvements very soon.

My AF is due this Sat 26th and I'm feeling relatively relaxed about it but not at all pregnant. Yet again would be getting AF when husband away which i don't like. I get really sad for a day or two before i pick myself back up. Am trying to believe in fate/timing but it definitely gets harder to! Still, i will have my blood tests next month so can feel more positive when i am doing something positive towards getting pregnant.

Wishing everyone a good week xxx

ps-my acupuncturist said coffee was worse than alcohol for TTC. He also said to avoid greasy and spicy foods that are harder to digest and try not to overeat generally but particularly in 2ww as more energy can be used in the womb for implantation etc rather than towards digesting food.


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## Pino6161

Sorry I haven't been on today LOL I have been crazy busy. I stalked my fridge w/ healthy foods LOL...
SashimiMimi---You have a right to get upset, but I am very glad your OH understood!! I don't' think you are selfish at all!! Some people have it easy, but that is their path in life. It's not necesarily fair, but I do think all of your trying has bonded you with your OH in ways that others will never understand. Some people have a timeline. I mean look at Preg_pilot she only had a month to try because her job consumes the rest of the year. Her path was for her to get her BFP cause it was her only chance. I believe with all my heart that your BFP is coming, and coming soon. You have been through alot. Hard times usually come turn into just a trial that you will win!! :hugs:

Lauren--- I hope you have fun at your party :hugs: You are such a caring person, you talk others down when they need it, but hardly tell us what's going on with you, it makes me feel kinda selfish LOL :hugs: How is TWW for you? I hope it's getting better!!

Preg_Pilot---CONGRATS again!! you deserved this, and although you have already got your BFP, please keep us updated, it will give us something to look forward to, not ditching us LOL :hugs:

Haribo--- My fingers are crossed for AF to not show!! Everyone is different, My SIL didn't have any symptoms at all except for a missed period.

So I woke OH up last night LOL. Have slight cramiping today as well, I have never had this, but I took an OPK and it was positive!! Yay for BDing!! LOL I told myslef I was taking it easy this month, but it so much easier said than done!! LOL. I am in a really upbeat mood today, a bit tired but other than that I am doing great! I won't be testing until about the 6th so I feel a bit left out form you guys LOL. I think OH is getting tired of hearing about you guys LOL. It seems like I am always "BnB this and BnB that" LOL. The diet is going good so far, but I am craving a bit of caffeine just cause me and MIL went to Starbucks, and I couldn't have one so not fair LOL

Well I am off until later. :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi and Lauren - Yay for May 30th testing!! Happy to have testing buddies. 

Preg - Def. do not feel like you are cheater! You are working as hard as the rest of us to get a BFP and you did it you lucky duck!! Thank you for posting all your symptoms. I love reading those and then going crazy trying to match mine, lol :)

Pino - How fun to get a +OPK right? And even better that you had OH at your disposal to BD, :haha: Don't feel left out - we're all going to be in this TWW together...at least for a little while. And my OH is totally over hearing about BnB too. He calls this site Baby Bumps, lol. Close enough I suppose!

Haribo - Sending you lots of positive thoughts for the 26th. Really hope you don't even need those blood tests next month. Thanks for the tidbit from your acupuncturist - I have been struggling the past few days with having coffee in the morning, but I'm definitely going to stay away and attempt to not eat sleeves of Oreos every night :blush:

According to SMEP, if you don't get a +OPK, you should keep BD'ing every other day. I definitely missed my surge somewhere in the past few days, do you guys think its necessary to keep up the BD'ing? I'm going to make sure we do it tomorrow as well, but it's just soo hard during the week with OH's schedule as he's been so busy with proposals and school work. I'm pretty sure tomorrow FF will give me crosshairs, but just curious as to you all's opinions...


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## lauren26

Hey ladies!

Thanks for what everyone said about EWCM!! Lol. It doesn't seem like a bad thing or something to freak out about now that I'm not getting it anymore. I suppose I should just be glad that it was abundant this month! I am 3dpo and my temps have been consistent and high so far, so I feel optimistic about my hormonal heath, if nothing else. 

Pino - Thanks, you are sweet! :) I feel like I'm always blabbering on here, lol. I had a great time with my nieces and nephew. He is a little dumpling!! He's soooooo big already and only about 4 months, I think. He really is a crier when anyone but his mom or dad (and weirdly my husband) hold him. I think other people just still feel unfamiliar to him. Oh, and my TWW SUCKS still, lol! I just want to test!! OH made me agree not to test anymore until I'm late (after about 12 pee sticks last month), but I honestly don't think I can do it. I don't know why I do that to myself, I am just crazy impatient. But honestly, testing at 7 or 8dpo and seeing that negative and then seeing it 4 more days in a row, just kills me. So maybe I'll really try not to do it this time around. 

Sashimi - LOL that your OH doesn't want to tell people the real reason. I literally LOLed reading about the ankle thing! You DEFINITELY don't have to see your friend!! This is a time to take really good care of yourself, especially this cycle! If it were me I would not not not not NOT go visit until after vacation, lol. You've got our support!! And I really don't think it's wrong to tell friends that it's hard when we're TTC and they're rubbing their beautiful children and pregnancies in our faces...Maybe a little more diplomatically than that ;) I have thought of telling my Indiana friend that, too--that I can't help her come up with names for the little girl she'll be having. Anyway, I forget what day you're going in for your test, but let us know because I want to send some BFP vibes!! 

haribo - Hi!! I hope your feeling is wrong and that you get your BFP!! I wouldn't like getting AF while my OH was gone, either! Hopefully you won't have to worry about that problem :)

Sleepy - LOL on the oreos....When you're not drinking alcohol (much), caffeine, and staying away from a million other things while TTC, you've gotta have SOMETHING! I would say that since you're CD14 just keep BDing every other day for a few more days. It can't hurt! I would do that until FF gives you crosshairs. I'm surprised it didn't already, but maybe because you prob Oed early and your temps were high during AF? 

Afm, I am supposed to go in tomorrow for blood work to check my progesterone. My OB wanted me to go in today (for day 18 levels???), but since I Oed a day late I figured I should go in a day later--that seems right, right? I am actually not feeling as anxious about it as I thought I would. I think the acupuncture is working for me so I'm no longer terrified that my levels will be crazy low, and I also just feel like I can go to the fertility specialist I was thinking of seeing armed with more information after this. If my levels ARE really low, I'm getting on progesterone ASAP! Whether she gives me an Rx or not. 

How are you all today?? Country, lxb, where are you? :)


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## lxb

Woo~~ Okay~ I'm all caught up! (I think)

Treasured - :hugs: So sorry that you have to be the ears for your friend. It's hard enough for a long ttc... can't imagine to know someone who has been given such miracle and yet ... not the right time for them. 

Preg_pilot - :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: & no.. definitely don't feel like a cheater! We're all sooooooooo very excited for you!! (Looking at your post... think i'll do the warm milk + honey + cinnamon nx cycle!) So glad your quickie #1 worked! And hope you'll have a happy & healthy 9 months! :hugs:

Sleepy - Hmm.. maybe last BD for SMEP? :shrug: a 'wrap-up insurance'... hehe.. Oh ... Yay for may 30th!! Hope it will be a great 3rd yr anniversary present!! :happydance:

Haribo - thanks for sharing~ I love spicy food~~~ & fried food! Maybe I should cut those down nx cycle~ :shrug:

Sashimi - I hear you. It's definitely hard and you're not the only one that feels that way. :hugs: People who have easier ttc-experience definitely can be insensitive. :hugs: & :haha: at your OH's email! Hope his "twisted ankle" will have a speedy recovery! Did you guys have anything plan for the trip yet??? Sooo excited for you! 

Pino - Yay for BD!!! Hope those :spermy: find that egg!!!

Lauren - So glad the acupuncture is working for you. How was ur niece's birthday?

Yay for May 30th test date for u three ladies!! BFP ... BFP... and BFP!!!! :happydance:

Yes, country.. where are you?? Are you shopping for a cowboy hat? :)

AFM, today is 7/8DPO. Had a temp drop ~0.2F+ today. Doubt that it is "implantation dip" as I don't feel any stomach cramp :shrug: Not much to update.. just the same o-sore-boobs (post-O symptoms!). I was planning to test on 10DPO & 12DPO. But now that I see a temp drop... maybe not? Supposedly AF is due May 26th.... Today is just one of those blue days. Was going to go camping for Memorial Day weekend.... but if AF is here... dont think I'll go anymore. Camping is not AF-friendly! :gun:


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## SleepyOwl

Lxb - Some women don't experience any cramping or spotting during implantation, so maybe this temp. dip will be your only sign. I'm going to keep thinking its a positive sign, even if you don't hehe. Umm and as for camping and AF, def. not a good combo. That sounds uncomfortable on so many levels! 

Lauren - I totally thought I would get crosshairs this morning also! I think you're right - my temps were pretty high during AF and I haven't had a +OPK plus I temped an hour later than usual because I slept through my alarm. Maybe tomorrow. Great attitude you have towards your blood test tomorrow - no need to be terrified, but like you said, it will just give you more information about your body and move you in the direction of getting pregnant! 

Country - Where are you? Hope you are well!! 

I'm definitely BD'ing tonight just in case. Definitely going to be breaking out the PreSeed tonight even though I hate putting it in, but whatever! A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!!


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## Pino6161

Sleepy--- Do you have maybe of an as estimation of when you think you ovulated?? If not I would BD tomorrow, and maybe they day after next just to be safe. :hugs:. My OH calls it big bumps LOL.

Lauren---My niece is the same way. She will only got to her mom. FIL and OH. It makes me feel left out LOL. Especially when we go shopping and SIL hands he to me to she can get out and she starts screaming LOL. But she is over a year old. I am the same way about testing my OH gets mad because I buy a couple of each brand, just in case. It always hurts alot seeing negatives, but I think it's better than going crazy wondering.

lxb--- I love camping! but I agree, probably not AF friendly, but perhaps no AF??? 

So I am down 1.6 lbs so far!! It's not much, but it's something. So I am officially 1DPO. On to my 2WW I will be trying to keep really busy and keep exersizing. I am not really positive about this month, but who knows right??


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## lxb

pino - 1.6lb is 1.6lb! It is a GREAT start! Keep up the good work! & yay for tww!!


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> Sorry I haven't been on today LOL I have been crazy busy. I stalked my fridge w/ healthy foods LOL...
> SashimiMimi---You have a right to get upset, but I am very glad your OH understood!! I don't' think you are selfish at all!! Some people have it easy, but that is their path in life. It's not necesarily fair, but I do think all of your trying has bonded you with your OH in ways that others will never understand. Some people have a timeline. I mean look at Preg_pilot she only had a month to try because her job consumes the rest of the year. Her path was for her to get her BFP cause it was her only chance. I believe with all my heart that your BFP is coming, and coming soon. You have been through alot. Hard times usually come turn into just a trial that you will win!! :hugs:
> 
> Lauren--- I hope you have fun at your party :hugs: You are such a caring person, you talk others down when they need it, but hardly tell us what's going on with you, it makes me feel kinda selfish LOL :hugs: How is TWW for you? I hope it's getting better!!
> 
> Preg_Pilot---CONGRATS again!! you deserved this, and although you have already got your BFP, please keep us updated, it will give us something to look forward to, not ditching us LOL :hugs:
> 
> Haribo--- My fingers are crossed for AF to not show!! Everyone is different, My SIL didn't have any symptoms at all except for a missed period.
> 
> So I woke OH up last night LOL. Have slight cramiping today as well, I have never had this, but I took an OPK and it was positive!! Yay for BDing!! LOL I told myslef I was taking it easy this month, but it so much easier said than done!! LOL. I am in a really upbeat mood today, a bit tired but other than that I am doing great! I won't be testing until about the 6th so I feel a bit left out form you guys LOL. I think OH is getting tired of hearing about you guys LOL. It seems like I am always "BnB this and BnB that" LOL. The diet is going good so far, but I am craving a bit of caffeine just cause me and MIL went to Starbucks, and I couldn't have one so not fair LOL
> 
> Well I am off until later. :hugs:

Thanks again :)
I will definitely be stalking this thread. Love it here :)



SleepyOwl said:


> Sashimi and Lauren - Yay for May 30th testing!! Happy to have testing buddies.
> 
> Preg - Def. do not feel like you are cheater! You are working as hard as the rest of us to get a BFP and you did it you lucky duck!! Thank you for posting all your symptoms. I love reading those and then going crazy trying to match mine, lol :)
> 
> Pino - How fun to get a +OPK right? And even better that you had OH at your disposal to BD, :haha: Don't feel left out - we're all going to be in this TWW together...at least for a little while. And my OH is totally over hearing about BnB too. He calls this site Baby Bumps, lol. Close enough I suppose!
> 
> Haribo - Sending you lots of positive thoughts for the 26th. Really hope you don't even need those blood tests next month. Thanks for the tidbit from your acupuncturist - I have been struggling the past few days with having coffee in the morning, but I'm definitely going to stay away and attempt to not eat sleeves of Oreos every night :blush:
> 
> According to SMEP, if you don't get a +OPK, you should keep BD'ing every other day. I definitely missed my surge somewhere in the past few days, do you guys think its necessary to keep up the BD'ing? I'm going to make sure we do it tomorrow as well, but it's just soo hard during the week with OH's schedule as he's been so busy with proposals and school work. I'm pretty sure tomorrow FF will give me crosshairs, but just curious as to you all's opinions...

Thanks, I´ll try not to feel like a cheater. I´m just trying to wrap my head around this now. I´m going to try a digi on friday, just to see those words on a test :)



Pino6161 said:


> Sleepy--- Do you have maybe of an as estimation of when you think you ovulated?? If not I would BD tomorrow, and maybe they day after next just to be safe. :hugs:. My OH calls it big bumps LOL.
> 
> Lauren---My niece is the same way. She will only got to her mom. FIL and OH. It makes me feel left out LOL. Especially when we go shopping and SIL hands he to me to she can get out and she starts screaming LOL. But she is over a year old. I am the same way about testing my OH gets mad because I buy a couple of each brand, just in case. It always hurts alot seeing negatives, but I think it's better than going crazy wondering.
> 
> lxb--- I love camping! but I agree, probably not AF friendly, but perhaps no AF???
> 
> So I am down 1.6 lbs so far!! It's not much, but it's something. So I am officially 1DPO. On to my 2WW I will be trying to keep really busy and keep exersizing. I am not really positive about this month, but who knows right??

Oooh, 1.6LBS? It´s a great start :) Go, go, go :D


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## Pino6161

LOL thanks guys :hugs: it is exciting!! Well off to cleaning my house LOL


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## lauren26

Ladies, I am telling you--the cross-over from estrogen to progesterone gets me every time!! I turn into an emo monster! Pino, I'm about to shatter your idea of me as a caring person, lol! This is SO irrational, but I have to vent it! So we keep our 3 bicycles in the hallway outside of our apartment because we don't have a storage unit, our place is too tiny to store them inside, and when we had bikes on the bike rack at our building they were all stolen. The upstairs tenants all have hallways, too, AND have storage units. So I go to leave this morning and someone has put their crappy, beat up bike right on top (like blocking, leaning against kind of) of our bikes. I was like, hm. I don't like that. I don't want people to start thinking that because there are 3 bikes here (all ours), that the whole building can store their stuff here. So I wrote a nice, neutral note (honestly, honestly) just explaining that we don't have storage space and would prefer that others keep their bikes in the hallways on their own floor so that we can access our bikes. I taped it GENTLY to the nasty, beat up bike seat--on a spot where the foam was coming out so I knew I wouldn't be causing damage, lol. Well I got home from the gym and the bike was still there, but the person had taken the note and thrown it away!! I don't know why, but this ENRAGED me!! I felt like, here I am asking NICELY for you to move your bike and you pull a passive-aggressive move like that and leave your sh***y bike in the way of our bikes and blocking the stairs! I want to smash their bike! LOL. Sorry to go loco on the thread, ladies, but I am pissed!!! I don't know what to do, but every time I walk by the bike now I get a surge of fury. If I see the person I will nicely (honestly--I fume but in person it's hard for me to show anger), ask if they can move it. Oh how I hate living in a college town sometimes!

Pino - Yay for 1.6 lbs!!!

Sleepy - Thanks! You'll get the crosshairs, I don't think there's anything wrong with your O this cycle. Did you get half + or anything like that? It sounds like you just Oed right out of the gate but that your temps took a few days to drop after the progesterone disappeared. I think that's normal!


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## Pino6161

Lauren, that doesn't ruin my view of you at all :hugs: It sounds to me like you are just protecting your stuff! You have every right to get pissed. You were nice about it, and the other person was an ass!! I would be the one to move the bike LOL. I am NOT the nice person.


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## SleepyOwl

Pino - Congrats on the 1.6 lbs. That is excellent!! You are on your way girlfriend!!

Lauren - Totally didn't ruin my view of you. I would be equally as annoyed. Hopefully you catch the dirty bike owner in person and you can explain it to them. Seriously irritating!! If I was you, I would try to move their bike at all costs. Just send the passive agressiveness right back at them lol! Not the most mature solution, but whatever!

As for my O date, I had an almost positive on CD12 - it was pretty dark, but it wasn't a +. We BD'd that night to be safe. I feel like I O'd CD11 or 12. Usually I O on CD12 according to FF. I think also my temps have been kind of weird this month because it has gotten SO hot here and our AC was set to all these crazy temperatures and wasn't running in the mornings. It should be fixed now, but maybe that had something to do with it?


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## SashimiMimi

I'm just popping on to catch up before I write a full post later, but have to comment on Lauren's annoying bicycle neighbor! I try so hard not to sweat th small stuff in life, but there is something about disrespectful people, especially neighbors, that just gets under my skin. I remember receiving a note once where someone believed I was taking up two parking spaces, I wasn't... But the note was full or profanities. Had it been polite I would have gladly tried to accommodate, but the obvious lack of manners made my blood boil.

Personally, I think I would just take the bike and ride it around the parking lot in circles until the culprit came looking for it. If that fails, you could move the bike 2 blocks away and leave another note kindly explaining that you had left an original note that had mysteriously vanished, so you took the liberty of moving the bicycle to a new, undisclosed location. Then leave a series of riddles to help them find the beat up bicycle. If they are going to be ridiculous to you, you can be ridiculous right back at them!!!!


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## Pino6161

I love SashimiMimi's solution LOL


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## lxb

:haha: @ sashimi's comment! Ride in the parking lot in circle... ~~ You can get your workout at the same time! What's not to love about that? Personally, I would go for the 2nd option! Moving the bike 2 blocks away~~ (maybe i'm just lazy?) but at least u don' thv to sit on that dirty bike! :thumbup:

People can be rude.... and u hv every right to return their favor~ :thumbup:


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## lauren26

LOL!! Thanks, ladies! Well I found the note and put it right back on the bike! It had been crumpled and tossed under the stairwell. I also went to knock on my neighbors' door--the one who I think owns the bike, and no answer, though her car was in the lot, too...Hmmm. Anyway OH is waaaaay to forgiving for me to ever do something 'mean' with the bike, but I will certainly move it all the way under the stairwell or to the other end of the hall if they don't retrieve it. It's just rude! My initial thought was to make copies of my note on a copier (like 50) and just leave one every day that the person throws the other note out. Or just tape notes to that one until it forms a huge long line of notes that covers the entire bicycle. Hahaaaaaaaaa. I like that one. It reminds me of Jim wrapping Dwight's desk in the Office. 

Anyway, Sleepy it sounds like you Oed and just missed the full surge with your OPKs. I think you're right on track! And yes, I do think a hot house makes a difference.


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## lxb

lauren - Oo.. i like the 50+ copies idea. Maybe label each of them with number. Like a countdown! If they don't do something about it.. you will! When you mentioned theh crumpled notes... I thought about laminating the note~ :haha: too much work~

agree with lauren, sleepy. the room temperature can definitely affect your bbt~!


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## SleepyOwl

Or you could just write one word on each post-it so they have to read it verrrrry slowly as they remove each one.


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## lauren26

LOL I like the way you ladies think!


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## Scrumpy

hey ! I'm new to the sight , and also trying not to let ttc consume me too much ! but its so hard ! lots of positive things on this sight !


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## Pino6161

Scrumpy--- Welcome to a bunch of people obsessed w/ TTC LOL JK. No, everyone here is great, and supportive. :hugs:


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## lauren26

Welcome, Scrumpy!


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## lxb

Hmm... Thought I've posted a response :shrug:

Anyways, :wave: scrumpy~ Welcome~!

Yep, this place is full of very supportive ladies! Make yourself right at home~ :flow:


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## lauren26

Hey y'all! Where are you ladies today? :) Everyone doing OK in their TWW? Mine's moving at snail's pace. Also the bike is still out there...This neighbor better watch out--I'm NOT nice during the progesterone half of my cycle, and they better srsly watch their back if I end up being pg this cycle! Lol. I'm gonna throw down pregnant lady style if that's the case :hissy:


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## Pino6161

Lauren, you make me laugh. I hope you are pg just so I can find outt what you do when you "throw down" LOL. How are you doing in your cycle so far? You sound almost fed up??


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## Pino6161

I am 2 DPO and I know what Lauren meant when she says snails pace LOL. I'm feeling a bit tired today.

So I only lost .8 lbs today, which frustrates me, but it's ok


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## SleepyOwl

LOL Lauren!! Hilarious - seriously was laughing out loud over here at the computer. 

Nothing new going on over here except that I think that I'm in the TWW, but FF won't give me crosshairs. My boobs are super sore this time around which I don't think is normal, but who really knows?! OH kind of got fed up last night when I tried to force him to BD. He said he was tired of feeling like a science experiment and didn't believe that normal people kept a thermometer under their pillow and had a million pee sticks. I told him that's just how it went and he just can't believe it. I was so irritated, so before we started to BD I kept telling him he was really annoying me. So of course that doesn't make for a good BD especially since we both couldn't stop laughing! So basically, we didn't BD last night. I hope it's okay though! 

How's everyone else doing? Who's got testing dates coming up? Lxb, Country?


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## lxb

:haha: ohh lauren~~~ I can't wait to see that throw down either!!

Pino! 0.8lb is something! Keep it up~ :thumbup:

Sleepy - you should be fine~~ hope those :spermy: find their way to the egg!

As for me, not much to report except for some sore boobs! which is normal~ :haha: tomorrow will be ~10DPO? If my temp stays up tomorrow.. maybe i'll POAS!! Wohoo~ :wohoo:

Where is country??


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - did you have your bloodwork today? 

Lxb - POAS! POAS! POAS!!


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## treasured

Hey everyone! So I was visiting my friend upnorth last night for her birthday which was nice and my best friend (the pregnant one) came with us, it was a party so of course there was alcohol and she was drinking. I know shes sheduled for an abortion appointment but I still felt angry that if I was pregnant I would be doing every single thing to help it! I'm not angry at her but I'm just so jealous of what she has been given. Although we were talking and she said that she was shocked that it had happened because she had had unprotected sex with her previous long term boyfriend many times and never got pregnant! So I guess it just shows that noone knows when it can happen! In a way I am upset that she is having a termination, however without sounding horrificly selfish I dont know how I could take it if she was to keep it. It would break my heart! 

Anyway, I am roughly 7dpo and having NO symptoms whatsoever, except from being really itchy down below, kinda like thrush :S but the past week has gone very fast as ive had a lot on my mind, so ive not been looking for anything. I will probably test on like saturday the 26th if AF doesnt show before that... not feeling optimistic at all though :( 

How is everyone? 

Pino, well done for the loss! Anything is better than nothing :D 

lauren, hold in there! try to see your TWW as a good time cause theres no waiting around for O to come and you can just take it easy :) also lololol at pregnant bike rage!

welcome scrumpy!! you will love all the gals here! so amazing and supportive :) xx


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## lxb

Sleepy - I shall POAS tomorrow!!! (I think :haha:)

Just a random pic I came across that made me giggle!!

Spoiler
OH MY GOODNESS!

https://ww2.sinaimg.cn/bmiddle/62ca611cjw1dt7hmpon27j.jpg


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- I know what you mean!! I look at it this way though... What kind of mother would she be? I mean in reality. My birth mother should have never had children, me and my brother were just lucky that my Dad took us. My half sister went through hell. She was raped my one of birth mom's bf so she could get high, and much more unthinkable things. Now she is following in those footsteps. Some women are not meant to be mothers!! My brother is very unstable because of her habits while pregnant. And at that time, it was just drinking. My SIL has no habits but is very lazy. The kids wait until 12 to eat when she wakes up. I mean there are many type of people that keep their children when they shouldn't. It's one of those things, there are no right answers. My brother's wife is pregnant and due in about 6 weeks. I don't know what to think. I am glad I like here in AZ while they are in OK though cause it's hard enoough being here and listening. Anyways hang in there, and be strong.

lxb--- Love the picture!!! POAS POAS POAS POAS POAS!!!!!!!!!!!

Sleepy---i know that feeling for sure. Been there, done that LOL. Sometimes it's better to lossen up and have fun, rather than BD seriously :hugs:


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## treasured

OMG pino, that sounds awful :( its such a shame that children get brought into lifes like that! I mean in no way is my friend as bad as that! She likes to drink and have fun but most 20 year olds do. I'm differnt obviously because Id rather settle down and start a family, ive always wanted to settle down. She is planning on going traveling and I know that she is making the right decision having a termination, it just angers me that i could NEVER do that! I'm sure if she had no choice and had to keep it she would manage and make things work but it is not her time, whereas im waiting and trying for so long and amnt getting the oportunity! Why do we get stuck with the crap deal when others that dont want it get it so easily! keep strong pino :) xxxxx


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## lauren26

Sleepy - LOLLLLL My OH said that I'm 'doing science' too, to one of our friends a few months back when I started charting. I was like, it's interesting and necessary!! Not totally sure how science is defined, but I don't think charting counts...

Pino and lxb - Fortunately my neighbor got away by the skin of her teeth....I caught her reading the note I left and went out to talk to her. She was def annoyed, and told me that she'd just gotten her bike fixed and didn't have a lock, but that she'd move it as soon as she got a lock. I was nice but also gave her the intense face. If 4dpo is ANY slight indication of what's to come with pregnancy, this world better watch out! Lol. lxb ---POAS!! And HOLY CRAP that baby is cute!! Pino, .8 lbs is amazing!! I have been working out for at least an hour every day for a week and a half and I've GAINED an inch :( :( I don't.....definitely not how I wanted to go into a New Orleans vaca!

Sleepy - Good memory! Or maybe I kept mentioning it, lol....I did get blood taken today for progesterone and I'll call the lab around 5 or so to get my #s since I know they'll have them today and my OB will take ages to get back to me. Glad to make you LOL :) And LOL at annoyed sex!

treasured - Whether or not your friend is getting a termination, she can't know how her actions affect the current little being!! I know she is early on, but that still makes my heart hurt to hear that, too. Especially when you want what she has so bad!

I have no 4dpo news except that I'm super impatient. OH and I watched the entirety of Downton Abbey Season 2 in less than a week, lol. So I've been doing that, plus working a bit and applying for new jobs. treasured, you're right--the TWW is better! So much more filled with possibility.


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## lauren26

Well. I got my lab results (I called the lab since my OB would have left by the time they were done), and at CD19/4dpo my progesterone is at 5.46. I have heard and read that the VERY lowest a normal progesterone level should be at that stage of the cycle is 10. I don't know what I feel more devastated about--the fact that it is so low or the fact that my OB didn't do this test right away when it was probably essentially impossible for me to get pregnant with levels like this. I really wish she had listened to me and/or that I had gone to someone else sooner! I am really upset right now. It's 7:15 here so I can't call anyone (OB, RE), so I guess I'll be waiting until tomorrow. I hope everyone else's evening has gone better than mine!


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## SashimiMimi

Oh, wow! Where to start...

Sleepy your post about the annoyed BD made me LOL. There have been way too many times where something like this has happened to me. Once OH thought my legs were too cold and he just couldn't get into it. Of course, I wasn't laughing at the time. I was super irritated. But TTC sure knows how the take the romance out of the equation sometimes. 

Treasured ughhh! Did you end up telling your friend that you were TTC? That whole situation breaks my heart as well. I see between 1-5 pregnant women a day it seems and I have to clench my fists to keep myself from grilling them about their TTCing. You're a strong person for being there for your friend, even though most people would find what she is doing hard to swallow.

Pino what a story. It seems like we all have some powerful stories outside of TTC and in a way it's nice to connect with each other on other hardships life has dealt us. Your positive attitude, the way you're taking control of your health and overall outlook is really inspiring. I meant to get into shape in March when we booked our trip, but it didn't happen. Oh well! I know when I exercise and eat right, I feel great all around. Healthy body, healthy mind.

Lxb - We have booked all our Kauai activities: Helicopter tour, zodiac sea caves tour with a beach landing and snorkling (we chose zodiac over catamaran because of the sea caves), luau and kayaking. OH will golf and I will go to the spa, so that should keep us pleny busy. They said you can't do the zodiac if you are pregnant, or the catamaran for that matter... so I guess that's one pro if I get another BFFN. Also, seems like everything is Ahi tuna on the menus and I love that... so another pro I guess. I'm really digging here just in case. 

As for me, I woke up with a head cold this morning. Sore throat, super stuffy nose, sneezing. Ughh! I had such a long day at work and my head just feels like it's in a fish tank. Of course, I am symptom spotting because of all those women who log their TWW and say "Oh my nose is runny I MUST be PG!!" I'm not sure how I got a cold, but I don't want to read into it too much.

Last month, I had no sore boobs or swelling. The month before when I started progestorone suppositories, my boobs became massive. I bought a dress at this time which looked great, but when my boobs deflated... not so great. This month my boobs are back to being super sore and huge, so I might take the opportunity to wear that dress tomorrow while I still have boobs!!! 

I was also just speaking to my mom and she said she just has this "feeling" that I'll get my BFP the month after we get back from Hawaii. I'm like really? So I'm out for this month and I just wasted $1,400 on fertility drugs and the 3rd IUI because you have a feeling the baby isn't ready to come yet? That's offensive. I think I offened my mom by saying that I was offended, but really she just has no idea what I've been going through. I felt really bad when I hung up the phone right now. She didn't say she thought I was out this month for sure, but she just has a "feeling." Well, she also had a feeling I'd be pregnant before Christmas and now we are in May. 

I keep telling myself I can handle what ever news comes my way this month, trying to see the pros that if it is a BFN I can do a bunch of stuff on our vacation I wouldn't be able to do otherwise, but I immediately felt very upset at the thought of it being a BFN. I am SO SICK of BFNs!!!!!! And honestly, I don't know if my doctor will keep going with me unless I do that lap surgery and I just DO NOT want to do it. The surgery doesn't feel right to me. 

So with that being said, Lauren this is the LONGEST TWW ever! In glad in a way that you, me and Sleepy will all be testing on May 30. But I feel like I'm going to go for the test and be a ball of anxiety until they call. I have no idea how I will emotionally be able to handle being at work whether it be a BFP or a BFN. I'm finding it impossible to think positive because I did last month and felt extra crushed by the failed results, but then I think if I just assume it will be a BFN I hurt my chances somehow. 

Anyone mastered the art of the TWW yet?


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## SashimiMimi

LAUREN! Ahhhh! We posted at the same time again. I know you are upset about getting the results, but AT LEAST you got them. You "took charge of your fertility" like the book says and got something checked out you had a hunch wasn't right. I think you should definitely express your concerns to your doctor and ask for reassurance going forward that you will have your worries about your health addressed.

Do you know what steps the doctor will take to get your progesterone up? Be glad you found the problem and be glad that it WILL be fixed and you are one step closer to BFP!


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## lauren26

Sashimi - You are right, I have more info now. I guess I'm really just angry at myself for not listening to my intuition and doing this earlier. I KNEW that it was what was going on for sooo long and no one would listen to me. I should have just gone to someone else right away and asked for lab work. Never again! My doc....the reason I freaked is because she basically implied earlier that she will not do anything about the progesterone. I just feel so crushed that this will def. be another BFN month for me. I guess I can call her first thing tomorrow morning and ask for a Rx for progesterone and to start right away. If she says no I will call the clinic I was considering and ask for a same day appointment and see if they'll give me a Rx. 

Do you really think it can be fixed? I just sunk in during my exercise class that I can't get or stay pg with that kind of reading and I suddenly felt like I would just never, ever, get pg. 

I would have felt upset with my mom, too! Especially after all the $$ and shots and most of all the emotional struggle. I'm really glad you'll have a vacation, whatever the results this month! When is your test date? Sorry if you said it and I missed it.


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## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> Well. I got my lab results (I called the lab since my OB would have left by the time they were done), and at CD19/4dpo my progesterone is at 5.46. I have heard and read that the VERY lowest a normal progesterone level should be at that stage of the cycle is 10. I don't know what I feel more devastated about--the fact that it is so low or the fact that my OB didn't do this test right away when it was probably essentially impossible for me to get pregnant with levels like this. I really wish she had listened to me and/or that I had gone to someone else sooner! I am really upset right now. It's 7:15 here so I can't call anyone (OB, RE), so I guess I'll be waiting until tomorrow. I hope everyone else's evening has gone better than mine!

I'm sorry the results weren't what you were hoping for :hugs: But Sashimi is right - at least you know now! I know it feels like the months gone by were in vain since this could have been fixed, but everything happens for a reason. Your time is coming and it will be perfect. With that said, I know I would be just crushed as well and probably be laying face down crying for several hours, so feel free to let it all out if you need to. And I'm sure this can be fixed - I feel like modern medicine can do so much, surely it can handle some low progesterone, right?!


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi - Oh yeahh for the big boobs. I LOVE when I get close to AF b/c I feel like my boobs look like mountains...they probably still look like mosquito bites, but whatever - makes me feel better about myself. Of course I'm totally reading into your symptoms/cold and thinking it means your preg. On to Mama SashimiMimi - I would be offended too if my mom said something like that. I'm sure she meant nothing by it, but it does come across as insensitive considering all that you go through each month. 

Pino - What a crazy story! I am so sorry you have had to endure all that. Things really aren't fair sometimes, but you have such a positive attitude about life. All of the struggles you had to endure and any mistakes made are going to make you an excellent mother - you seem like you have really learned so much and that is wonderful!

Also I REALLY hope I'm pregnant. Have I said that before? :blush: Each month I get a BFN makes me want to see a BFP so much more. I hope this month is it!!


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren my test date is same as yours and Sleepy - May 30!! Yes, progesterone levels can be fixed. My doctor doesn't text for day 21 progesterone levels because he says its old fashioned... I'm not sure what part of it is old fashioned, but I know he does put most people on the suppositories because it increases the levels and helps thicken the lining.

Also, my naturopath had given me a supplment called Chaste Tree a while ago which mimics progesterone in the body. Between your doctor, a naturopath and even your acupunturist of he or she does Chinese herbs there are lots of routes you can take to fixing those progesterone levels. 

I get the impression from my doctor that lots of women have low progesterone levels, so its not a dead end... just a bump in the road. I just emailed you a long note as well! 

It's great that they found the low levels, not you can be on your way to BFP! 

I have to say that acupuncture and Chinese herbs saved my life. I was suffering from frequent bladder infections a few years ago. My kidney levels were also way off and my doctor sent me to a specialist. During the wait that it took me to get into see the specialist I worked with my acupuncturist and did some herbs targeting the bladder and the kidneys. Well, my levels came back normal and the specialist couldn't figure it out. I didn't have bladder infections for about 5 or 6 years. I had about 5 UTIs from September to November, so I went back to my acupuncturist and did some herbs and they have been gone since before December. I even saw a specialist again that said that nothing looked wrong and if they continued he would do an exam that required a microscope to be stuck up my urinary tract. Stick whatever you want up my hoo haa, but do not stick anything up my urinary tract!!!


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks Sleepy!! I know Mama Sashimi didn't mean anything by it, I know she was trying to be positive like your BFP is just around the corner... But I'm like, I'm not doing the lap and I'm not doing expensive needles that blow my ovaries up to the size of oranges again, so I would prefer the BFP now thanks! I was telling her about all the things I can do in Hawaii with a BFN and that I was digging for pros in all this and thats when she said I just have a feeling... I find that is why it's so important to connect with you ladies here, because you get it. And even OH doesn't get it like we do!


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## lxb

Lauren - :hugs: like sashimi and sleepy said... At least you know now. And your time will come.

Sleepy and sashimi - :haha: at ur boobs stories!! I have those moments too! And oh sashimi... I hope you don't get to go on the zodiac tour!!!!!! And I bet mama sashimi meant that you will tell her your bfp news when you return from your trip! :happydance:

:drunk: cheers!! Here is to all 3 BFPs on May 30th!! :drunk:


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks, Lxb!! And thanks Sleepy for looking at my cold as a possible sign! Need the positivity.


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## lauren26

Thanks, gals :) I guess I am feeling a little better about it right now. It was the thought of knowing this won't be the month that was really getting me down. I did some Googling and found that many, many women have gotten pg with lower progesterone than mine and have just had to get on supplements immediately. So I suppose there could still be hope for this cycle. Even if there's no way this could be my month, I need to believe it could be right now! 

Sashimi, I am surprised that your doc also didn't do day 21! I was confused when my doc didn't. There is an old thread on BnB that I found where someone had day 18/19 levels done and was about where my #s are. Her doc had her go in a week later and they were normal. I guess there can be an off day and/or levels really do increase greatly as time passes after O. I will ask to be put on progesterone and/or will ask for bloods again at day 21. I am going to get this fixed!!! Lol. You're right, I know what I am working with so I have more information about what to do. I started spiraling with the cause of this leading to insulin resistance and that leading to diabetes or something (I am not at my ideal weight, but I'm sure I'm not diabetic, lol!). Anyway, I have acupuncture tomorrow, too, so I'll ask my lady about it. OF COURSE your test date is May 30! Can't believe I let that one slip when you and Sleepy and I are testing buddies...

lxb - Your emoticons are hilarious!

Sleepy - Thank you! Definitely did some crushed crying, lol. Ate a bunch of popcorn and watched the Simpsons. A little therapeutic escapism does the trick!


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## lauren26

PS I just found this article and it made me feel better about this whole process. It's celebs who have struggled with fertility (the title says 'infertility', but you all know how I feel about that one!).

https://www.ivillage.com/celebs-who-struggled-infertility/6-b-303609


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## SashimiMimi

What we refreshing article, Lauren. Thanks for posting! Although, I do wish they featured some celebs who are closer to age 30 rather than 40+. Though it's inspiring to see a shift in the media who are all too obsessed with celebrity baby bumps. 

All I want to do is eat popcorn and watch Simpsons! That sounds like the perfect way to beat some blues!! OH is irritated with me because I'm in a mood over having a cold and being completely exhausted. I complained about the call with my mom and he said that maybe we just need to take a break from all this. Hell to the no!!!! I didn't come this far to stop now, I will keep getting back up each time I'm knocked down! I'm determined!!


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## Pino6161

I especially like this one:

Iman The supermodel and host of Bravo&#8217;s The Fashion Show may have married rock royalty, but according to the model it took an ancient African fertility ritual -- which requires a woman to carry a baby for a day -- to give her and husband David Bowie a child. Iman toted around Christie Brinkley&#8217;s then-14-month-old baby, Sailor Lee, and voila -- she reportedly conceived suddenly after. The long-legged beauty gave birth to daughter Alexandria in August 2000 at age 45.

I might have to try that.... hhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm...whose baby to borrow ??


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## SashimiMimi

Lol Pino! How about Halle Berry's 36 BFNs?? How does the media even find out about this stuff?


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## Pino6161

Right ??? LOL. but I agree with you. No offense but lets get some younger examples


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## Pino6161

So today went ok until about 1PM I was cleaning and had to go into the kitchen. I went to climb over the baby gate that keeps the dog out, and I twisted my knee, then it hurt so bad I did a sort of jump to get the rest of the way over and landed flat footed which sent a jolt up my knee. It is really swollen and sore. I can't bend it w/ severe amount of pain. I have always had knee issues, but this is the worse. So now I am sitting here on the couch with my knee brace keeping my heating pad in place.


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## lauren26

LOL. I didn't read Iman's. Someone give me their baby!! I love that, though--it feels so right, instinctually. Getting the baby dust!

Sashimi, yes, I would have preferred some younger examples, too!! 

Pino, love that Halle Berry SAVED them. I HATE MY BFNs!!! Lol. I take it back. Every one I see I think, 'Well, one closer to the BFP!'


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## lauren26

Pino!!! Go to the doctor!! Oh my gosh! I hope you get some relief! Knee stuff is the worst! Yikes. That sounds very painful--can you go to a doc or chiro tomorrow?


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## Pino6161

I hate them and after all of them I save them and when AF shows uo. Me and OH burn them. It's our waying of moving on, and trying again. Besides I don't have enough space i the house to save them all LOL


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## Pino6161

lauren26 said:


> Pino!!! Go to the doctor!! Oh my gosh! I hope you get some relief! Knee stuff is the worst! Yikes. That sounds very painful--can you go to a doc or chiro tomorrow?

I would except there is no one to take me. My OH has work at 3 AM. My car is standard. So I will wait and see if it's better tomorrow or wait for OH tomorrow night and go to the ER.

When I was in middle school, I was excersizing my hourse on one of our acres. We were galloping and instead of turning, she went into the pavement cause she wanted to go home. Well she was wearing shoes, and we slidd. She fell on top of my knee in the slid. I damaged it pretty bad, but didn't need surgery. I am really scared I damaged it badly. My insurance just expired, and we can't afford it. Anyways I'm hoping it's just bruised, except I heard it pop about 5 times, so I doubt it. About 4 years ago I diagnosed with access scar tissue under the knee cap, and they told me I would eventually need surgery


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> So today went ok until about 1PM I was cleaning and had to go into the kitchen. I went to climb over the baby gate that keeps the dog out, and I twisted my knee, then it hurt so bad I did a sort of jump to get the rest of the way over and landed flat footed which sent a jolt up my knee. It is really swollen and sore. I can't bend it w/ severe amount of pain. I have always had knee issues, but this is the worse. So now I am sitting here on the couch with my knee brace keeping my heating pad in place.




Pino6161 said:


> lauren26 said:
> 
> 
> Pino!!! Go to the doctor!! Oh my gosh! I hope you get some relief! Knee stuff is the worst! Yikes. That sounds very painful--can you go to a doc or chiro tomorrow?
> 
> I would except there is no one to take me. My OH has work at 3 AM. My car is standard. So I will wait and see if it's better tomorrow or wait for OH tomorrow night and go to the ER.
> 
> When I was in middle school, I was excersizing my hourse on one of our acres. We were galloping and instead of turning, she went into the pavement cause she wanted to go home. Well she was wearing shoes, and we slidd. She fell on top of my knee in the slid. I damaged it pretty bad, but didn't need surgery. I am really scared I damaged it badly. My insurance just expired, and we can't afford it. Anyways I'm hoping it's just bruised, except I heard it pop about 5 times, so I doubt it. About 4 years ago I diagnosed with access scar tissue under the knee cap, and they told me I would eventually need surgeryClick to expand...

Ouch. I know this only too well. (I´ve had 9 surgeries so far).
The pops sound like the "bag" in the knee ripped... I just hope in your case, those were tiny rips, that can heal on their own.
I can only advise you to take it easy, keep your leg elevated to drain fluids from the knee, and do slight (very slight - as in 5°max) knee bends every now and then.
It´s not good to keep the leg completely still for hours on end.


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## lxb

Ahhhh.. Pino!!

Agree with preg_pilot with slight elevation. Perhaps ice pack helps too?


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## lauren26

Yikes, girl!!! That sounds so awful and painful! Before you go to the ER and spend thousands of $$, I suggest considering a chiropractor. I sprained my ankle BADLY a few years ago--I heard the pops and everything that you're talking about. It was the first time I was without insurance--my insurance ended at midnight on 10/31 (or 11:59...whatever!), so it was ineffective starting 11/1. Well, I was at a Halloween party and was trotting down some steps and couldn't see that there was another step practically in the middle of the room, and rolled my ankle over it. It was awful!! I realized after a few days that something very bad was happening in my ankle, lol, and I could not afford a doc out of pocket. I went to a chiropractor and he worked wonders on my ankle. It healed completely and I've never, ever had problems with it, amazingly. This was after he told me that it was the worst sprain he'd seen all year (and it was November!), and that I'd torn a ligament. Anyway, it was still a bit pricey (chiros out here cost a lot), but it was waaaaaaay cheaper than the ER would have been! Anyway, I support you either way--just get yourself taken care of!


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## lauren26

I'm feeling better today as I've gotten an appointment with the fertility clinic tomorrow morning. I am HOPING that they'll just take my results from the labs I've already had and give me progesterone. I also think I'm going to ask them to do another blood tomorrow since it will, perfectly, be day 21. My OH asked me what my rush was, and I told him that even though I know women can get pregnant with low progesterone, I don't want to find out on our trip that I got pregnant and that I can't support the pregnancy! That may be a long shot, but I don't want to go through another mc, especially on vacation! I haven't called my OB today. I don't really know how/if she can help me. My plan was to just wait for her to call me and see if she wants to do anything. What do you ladies think? I feel like it might be confusing to be talking with two docs at once, in the same day. On the other hand, if she does want to give me a Rx, I want to take that opportunity! Sorry to ramble...I am feeling better, though. Also, my temps shot waaaay up today...and by waaaay I just mean higher than it's ever been, lol. I think it's too early for implantation to have occurred, but I'm wondering if maybe it's the progesterone finally kicking in.

Whew! I will stop with all that now. How is everyone else? lxb, did you TEST???!!!


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## Pino6161

So I woke up this morning and the pain is about 10 times worse in my knee. I woke up, and I had to pee. I totally forgot about the knee, and I went to stand up my knee collapsed cause it hurt so bad. I fell. Boy did I feel ******** LOL. So when OH get's home we will go to the Dr. I would go to a chiropracter, except we live in the middle of no where, and the closest (my regular) is about an hour and a half a way. So it looks like we are going to dip into our lawyer money.. I am so frustrated. I gained .2 lbs but I blame it on not being able to do anything cause of the knee.

Well 3DPO and I am dry down there, and really tired.

Lauren--- I would see the fertility specialist, and she what she says. When and if you do go back to your other dr you will have something to compare it too. And then you will know for sure if your doc actually knows what she is doing


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## SleepyOwl

Pino - I hope everything is alright!! Definitely get it checked out even if it means dipping into your lawyer money. Better that than being immobile and in serious pain for who knows how long. Hope it heals quickly!!

Lauren - Maybe give your OB a call after you talk to the fertility specialist? Sounds kind of confusing having to deal with both of them. 

I'm 3DPO friends. Thinking the 30th might be a little too early to test - I'll only be 10DPO then. That's way too to test right?


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## Pino6161

SleepyOwl said:


> Pino - I hope everything is alright!! Definitely get it checked out even if it means dipping into your lawyer money. Better that than being immobile and in serious pain for who knows how long. Hope it heals quickly!!
> 
> Lauren - Maybe give your OB a call after you talk to the fertility specialist? Sounds kind of confusing having to deal with both of them.
> 
> I'm 3DPO friends. Thinking the 30th might be a little too early to test - I'll only be 10DPO then. That's way too to test right?

Thanks... I am 3DPO as well, and I think the 30th is to soon. IDK though, I guess it depends on the test. Let me know when you find out though. I usually wait until the day before my period, but my period can be irregular


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## lxb

lauren - feel free to ramble~! we're all here to listen :) taking to two doctors in one day might be confusing and overwhelming. Agree with Pino & Sleepy, talk to fertility specialist first?

pino - sounded like you sound get it check out soon and get it taken care of asap! hope you have your speedy recovering. don't worry about those 0.2lbs! it's nothing! (it could be your before-pee-weight? :haha:) 

sleepy - it's different for everyone. Even though usually.. it's recommended ~12DPO. But some got their bfp at 8DPO, some at 9DPO, etc. 10DPO is pretty standard. 

As for me, I'm 9/10DPO. Temp was the same as yesterday... so I've decided to bust out my hpt & POAS!!! and it was a negative! :dohh: I was telling myself not to imagine any lines... and there was NOTHING I can imagine on. :haha:


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## Pino6161

So what do you girls think.... My OH wants to wait until tomorrow. If it is worse we go see a dr. Idon't really wan to wait, but he has a point. I mean if I just pulled something, what a waste of money, but if it's not, it could be worse. I'm not sure what to do either way, I think we would go to the local Urgent care. It's cheaper than ER and they can put us on a payment plan so we don't drain all of our money. IDK. I'm so frustrated. When I hold still, no pain, just uncomfortable. If I try to move it it is horrible. I had to pull my crutches out but I feel dumb cause It's my left knee and I can't walk very well, and it feels it hurts worse when I bend it and lift it to walk on them. I can put pressure on it if it is very straight


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## treasured

Ohh gosh pino! it sounds so painful! im in UK so I would be getting straight to the docs to get it checked out, cant imagine having to pay everytime you go :(. I would be in serious debt! Doesnt insurance cover these types of thing? 

lauren- i know, to be honest if i was in a diffrent situation without my darling OH i would probably be just as shocked and scared as her! how are you doing? sorry to hear about the progesterone problems but now you know!! so you can get your BFP now :D sillly doctors for not realising!

sashimi- nope i didnt tell her i was TTC, dont think she would have wanted to know that haha, although i did say that if it was me i would have kept it, OF COURSE!!! yeah im trying to be supportive because I know she'll be for me when/if i get my bfp, we are just in two completely different situations... 

sorry about your mum upsetting you :( although we know she was just tyring to be postiive! it muts be awful knowing youve spent so much time and effort though :( FX for you this month! I for SURE do not think your out!! im not too bad with the TWW im aparently on 8dpo right now and havnt thought about testing once... not got any symptoms though, apart from wee tummy pains but i always have that.

:dust: to yous all! 

xx


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## Pino6161

Treasured. My insurance expired last week. So I have to pay out of pocket


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## SashimiMimi

I'm writing a mini emergency post from work! Those friends who had the baby last week have invited us over for dinner on Saturday. OH asked if I wanted to go and after reminding him about our previous conversation I said that I just don't think I can handle it prior to our trip. I've explained to all of you how I feel about the impending test day of May 30, so I won't repeat myself.

So now the issue doesn't seem to be whether or not to go, it seems to be what to tell them exactly. OH wants to tell the truth... that I just can't face seeing their baby in my own self-pity. Well not in those words, but I am sure they will be able to read between the lines. I was like, Are you kidding me? NOW you want to tell the truth? Why don't you tell them we both fell and twisted our ankle!?

He just feels if we say no to Saturday they will suggest other dates, and how do we explain being busy for two weeks. I told him I wanted to reach out to you guys before he responds. So, what do you guys think? How would you handle this situation.

For me, it's a combination of seeing the baby and also the fact that the wife hasn't always been the biggest supporter of me. She has a way of saying offensive things and I don't have it in me to let it roll off my back. I actually had a nightmare the other night that we went over there and I turned into the Hulk and started pushing all their furniture over. So obviously this is affecting me so much that it is slipping into my subconscious!!

Any insight from anyone would be really appreciated. One idea that OH had was that he do the "responsible" thing and go by himself to visit and explain that I'm at an appointment or something. Thoughts?


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## SleepyOwl

SashimiMimi said:


> I'm writing a mini emergency post from work! Those friends who had the baby last week have invited us over for dinner on Saturday. OH asked if I wanted to go and after reminding him about our previous conversation I said that I just don't think I can handle it prior to our trip. I've explained to all of you how I feel about the impending test day of May 30, so I won't repeat myself.
> 
> So now the issue doesn't seem to be whether or not to go, it seems to be what to tell them exactly. OH wants to tell the truth... that I just can't face seeing their baby in my own self-pity. Well not in those words, but I am sure they will be able to read between the lines. I was like, Are you kidding me? NOW you want to tell the truth? Why don't you tell them we both fell and twisted our ankle!?
> 
> He just feels if we say no to Saturday they will suggest other dates, and how do we explain being busy for two weeks. I told him I wanted to reach out to you guys before he responds. So, what do you guys think? How would you handle this situation.
> 
> For me, it's a combination of seeing the baby and also the fact that the wife hasn't always been the biggest supporter of me. She has a way of saying offensive things and I don't have it in me to let it roll off my back. I actually had a nightmare the other night that we went over there and I turned into the Hulk and started pushing all their furniture over. So obviously this is affecting me so much that it is slipping into my subconscious!!
> 
> Any insight from anyone would be really appreciated. One idea that OH had was that he do the "responsible" thing and go by himself to visit and explain that I'm at an appointment or something. Thoughts?

I think telling them you both sprained your ankle is a great idea, lol. No but seriously, I swear men never know when to say the right things, do they?! It doesn't seem like a bad idea for OH to go alone and say that you're busy with work or an appointment or your family. Or you could both not go and say that you have a family commitment - that's what I always do. Pawn it off on my parents or OH's family. Usually people don't pry beyond that. The real issue is that they are just going to keep asking and asking - persistent friends you have there. Could you say that between family, work and your upcoming trip that you two won't really have much free time until after your trip and buy yourself some time? Difficult situation Hulk, but I know you will figure something out!!


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## lauren26

LOL on the Hulk dream! I would just tell them that you've got a trip coming up, have had many engagements and appointments lately, and that you just don't have the energy. You could also always say that you congratulate them but that you need a little time before you can be around a baby because it's an emotional time for you right now. I think you can be honest without coming off like a jerk. Besides, if she doesn't understand or is rude still/again, then SHE's the jerk! Sometimes jerks need honesty to snap them out of their self-centerdness about that stuff. Sorry if you're friend is actually a really nice person, lol. I feel protective and don't want you to be exposed to her baggage! If all else fails, just go to dinner and throw around all their furniture :)


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## lxb

since u've mentioned u have flu-like symptoms.. maybe just say u think u'r down with a flu. I bet they would want you to stay away? hehe also u have a trip coming up. and you want to rest up~~~ :thumbup:


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## countrygirl86

Note to self: Self, don't take 5 days off from this thread EVER. AGAIN.

Sashimi - I would say you are busy Saturday and with the trip and appointments, you are busy for the next two weeks so would rather catch up once you get back from your trip, then you'll have lots to talk about? It's a toughie but you need to do what's right for you.

Pino - how awful about your knee, I don't know how it works in the US but your health is very important. If you think you should go today, you should probably go today!

lauren - glad they've found something, though it's not what you wanted to hear. Hope they are able to put everything right for your next go. Keep us posted (I'm sure you will lol)

Sleepy - test whenever you feel it's right! Do you have the cheapies?

lxb- atta girl for testing! lol I think it goes you, me, Sashimi & lauren & sleepy? Who else is testing coming up?

treasured - I can't imagine dealing with your pg friend! You must have VERY tough skin! Does she want you to go with her for everything?

Sorry if I've missed a few, there were 11 pages to read through! I went to see that 'What to Expect' movie last night and it surprisingly bothered me! I guess I thought I was tougher. I'm starting to feel better now but had a few tears last night as I felt like I might never get to experience the kicks in my belly and holding that fresh baby. I didn't want to tell DH I was upset cause I didn't want him to feel bad since he's convinced any trouble will be with him even though I've told him varying and 48 day cycles aren't normal. The movie was good but the sad bits really got to me, probably just where my hormones are at right now. So glad to have you ladies to chat with about all this!


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## Pino6161

So I have to make this really quick. 

I am about to leave for the urgent care. Wish me luck. Hopefully it is not as bad as I think it is. 

:hugs:


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## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> I'm feeling better today as I've gotten an appointment with the fertility clinic tomorrow morning. I am HOPING that they'll just take my results from the labs I've already had and give me progesterone. I also think I'm going to ask them to do another blood tomorrow since it will, perfectly, be day 21. My OH asked me what my rush was, and I told him that even though I know women can get pregnant with low progesterone, I don't want to find out on our trip that I got pregnant and that I can't support the pregnancy! That may be a long shot, but I don't want to go through another mc, especially on vacation! I haven't called my OB today. I don't really know how/if she can help me. My plan was to just wait for her to call me and see if she wants to do anything. What do you ladies think? I feel like it might be confusing to be talking with two docs at once, in the same day. On the other hand, if she does want to give me a Rx, I want to take that opportunity! Sorry to ramble...I am feeling better, though. Also, my temps shot waaaay up today...and by waaaay I just mean higher than it's ever been, lol. I think it's too early for implantation to have occurred, but I'm wondering if maybe it's the progesterone finally kicking in.
> 
> Whew! I will stop with all that now. How is everyone else? lxb, did you TEST???!!!

Good luck, I hope everything works out in your favor :hugs:



Pino6161 said:


> So I woke up this morning and the pain is about 10 times worse in my knee. I woke up, and I had to pee. I totally forgot about the knee, and I went to stand up my knee collapsed cause it hurt so bad. I fell. Boy did I feel ******** LOL. So when OH get's home we will go to the Dr. I would go to a chiropracter, except we live in the middle of no where, and the closest (my regular) is about an hour and a half a way. So it looks like we are going to dip into our lawyer money.. I am so frustrated. I gained .2 lbs but I blame it on not being able to do anything cause of the knee.
> 
> Well 3DPO and I am dry down there, and really tired.
> 
> Lauren--- I would see the fertility specialist, and she what she says. When and if you do go back to your other dr you will have something to compare it too. And then you will know for sure if your doc actually knows what she is doing




Pino6161 said:


> Treasured. My insurance expired last week. So I have to pay out of pocket




Pino6161 said:


> So I have to make this really quick.
> 
> I am about to leave for the urgent care. Wish me luck. Hopefully it is not as bad as I think it is.
> 
> :hugs:

Ouch, sucks about the insurance. :dohh:
Lucky where I live, I just pay minimum cost, and the government pays the rest. No insurance nonsense here.

I hope your leg will be fine soon.
Fingers crossed.


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## haribo813

Apologies, this post ended up being a mammoth one!

Country - lol on the 5 days off, I took 2 off and have been wading through! How are we on 90 pages?! Sorry you felt rubbish watching the film, you're totally right, it's a hormone thing. I couldn't sleep for tears the other night. The reason? A debate with my OH over whether you could describe our lack of baby as unfair or unlucky! Ridiculous i know! (It was prompted by him telling him his pregnant sister isn't going to immunise her baby cos she is cynical of big pharmas. What?! It made me so cross!) Anyway, I bounced out of the bed the next day feeling fine. I wish I could tell myself when I'm really down 'you won't always feel this way, you'll feel a bit better about it soon'-but I never can of course.

Ah Sashimi, think there is some good advice on here about visiting the fr-enemy, definitely hold off and I sympathise with an honest OH-tricky when you are TTC and don't want the world to know about your injections, visits and CDing schedule! Your hulk furniture wrecking tendencies made me laugh but totally believe in the subconscious taking over. So did suggestions for Lauren's bike! We are an imaginative bunch in our tww!

Pino I hope your knee is feeling better my dear, how rubbish. But you are doing amazingly with your new lifestyle, so keep going!

I also laughed about a leg which is too cold?! Ha ha. I struggle too-does anyone else think, how can i subtly put a new spin on why we need to BD tonight, especially as i try to stick a pillow under me after and lie there for half an hour, not very romantic. These things are sent to test us.

Lauren I'm sorry about the progesterone too but these ladies are right-it's a step closer to your bfp and tears aside, you are doing something positive about it and you should feel positive. I felt similarly frustrated at waiting so long to go to the doctors generally. I am terrible for regretting things but there's no point in looking back i suppose, only forward. Not long til your hols, hurray! Did you like Downton? I loved it but series 2 is nowhere near as good as the 1st wouldn't you say?

Treasured, well done for being there for your friend, it's difficult for you right now but stay strong, you will get your bfp and you will treasure that little bean.

Welcome Scrumpy! Everyone is very nice, feel free to vent on here!

Not much new from me-but I did get some spotting today and yesterday-I think/hope this is spotting in a good way as I'm on CD25, don't normally get spotting before AF and reliably have a 28 day cycle. I hope this is implantation bleeding, but don't dare to hope too much-I have no other symptoms. Might test this Sat when AF due but OH will be away so prob try and string it out til Sunday night when he's back...it's better than a negative test that's for sure but if i know me, i will have my AF by then. Boo!

I thought I'd recommend a book on here-not sure if I've mentioned it before. It's called The Baby-making Bible and if you can get over the cringey name, it's pretty useful. It's a mixture of western and chinese ideas about people being different types, i.e. we can work out whether we are more, according to Chinese medicine types, a heat, cold, damp, blood deficient type) and then how we should eat, exercise, meditate accordingly to our type and at different times of cycle. It's made me approach things in a new way but it's probably not for everyone as it's quite a holistic, alternative approach. It is also hugely annoying how she says when you don't get pregnant at least you have another month to improve your 'soil' and the lovely 'plant' you will one day nurture. Grrr!

Yay to holidays coming up soon! It's the Queen's Jubilee here in a week and a half and everyone has an extra day off, plus the sun has finally come out in the UK! We are basking in lovely sunshine and patriotism. OH and I have had the biggest bbq tonight-we got so carried away-right little piggies! Off to watch The Killing now-love the Danish version! Have good evenings all xx


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks, everyone!! I really appreciate the feedback. I have to be quick, too as I am still at work.

I think OH is just worried about making up two-weeks worth of excuses as to why we cannot visit. There were times in the beginning of our relationship, where I felt OH chose this friend over me. Now I feel like he is doing it again by visiting without me. These friends have struggled with fertility in a different way--one premature baby (who is totally fine now, one MC and now this new baby is a real triumph for them. I should be supportive, and I would be if this was my first or second IUI... But I know how uncomfortable I got telling them about our first IUI, I just can't stand to talk about the injections, the possible lap surgery and our uncertain future when it comes to starting a family. 

Haribo: That was ME with the cold legs!! HAHAHA! It happens more often than you think. 

Pino: Feel better!

Lauren, Country, Lxb: It's true, I do have a cold (although its getting better, is that a bad sign???), and I have the trip coming up, offered to do some extra work at my job with the trip coming up, I honestly don't have time to see them. I just don't think OH will think it's a good enough excuse because you apparently "make time" for friends. Yet, his falling and twisting his ankle was fine to miss out on the tennis match when we were doing IUI! LOL!


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## lauren26

Country - LOL on the 5 days off!! And I guess I do get a bit share-y:blush:. I feel sad that your OH blames everything on himself! Not that I'd want him to blame you, lol, but that men in general feel soooo much pressure to perform and make the pregnancy happen. On the other hand, it's nice that he's involved! 

Pino - GL!! I hope they fix you right up. I'm glad you went today. 

All of you non-USers, you are so so lucky that your government helps so much with cost! I have hesitated to go to the fertility specialist because I don't know if my insurance will cover it and it's a pretty penny out of pocket. 

Preg - How are you feeling? Have you had an appt. yet?

haribo - I loved Season 2!! They both were a bit depressing, too, though. I don't know which one I liked better...I watched them pretty close together to it's all sort of one blob of good drama in my mind. I hope your spotting is IB!! It's a good sign if you don't usually get it before AF. And you're right--I am glad that I have the info now! Sounds like an amazing time to be in the UK--bbq, sunshine, patriotism! Sounds incredible :)

Sashimi - I do not think that it's a bad sign that the cold is getting better. I know about two schools of thought on the cold (and there may be more): one says that you get a cold because the pregnancy lowers your immune system since the body switches it focus to your uterus and the new life in it. The other is that it's easier to get pregnant when you have a cold because your immune system is low and your body has less chance to fight off sperm and/or reject the fertilized egg (which apparently some womens' bodies do!). Either way, I think it's good! I also don't think any of our bodies are fighting off the egg...but I know that a cold around this time is meant to be a good thing, and it seems OK that it's going away.

Afm, I saw my acupuncturist today and she is a dear! She was very supportive about the progesterone and said that the docs tomorrow will prob prescribe it, and if they don't then she'll get me the sublingual variety from her naturopath herself! How sweet! She gave me her cell number and everything and said she'd go pick it up. Made me feel very taken care of. It's a relief, too, to know that either way I will get something to use and 'test' this month because I just went to the RR and, like last month, got some pink/red CM already at 5dpo. Boo! I suppose I should be glad that I am fixing the problem now!


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## Pino6161

So my knee has a severe strain, and a torn ligament.... I will be on later


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren it says we are both online viewing this thread, I bet we will post at the same time any minute!


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## lxb

Pino - how r u feeling?

Sashimi - our body is tricky. I remember my sis was down with a 'flu' the week before she told me about her bfp then she was all better. I hv my fingers crossed for you!! :)


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## Pino6161

Treasured --- The US healthcare is soooo screwed up!! You are very lucky! I spent $200 dollars on x-rays its BS. Keep being strong w/ no testing. Maybe no symptoms are a good thing?? :hugs: Just try to keep your friend out of your mind. I mean no one needs more stress on top of TTC!!

SashimiMimiI would just avoid the situation. I mean I understand completely about not wanting to see them. After all of your effort you deserve a reward for even hearing about it. Your OH should understand that your happiness, sanity, and his is more important than being polite to you friends. You have a lot on your plate as it is, no need to overflow it!

Sleepy--- I have done more research and the earliest I can find positives is 9DPO.

Lxb---Sorry about the BFN, but my fingers are still crossed. I still have hope for you :hugs:

Country--- Missed you LOL. Thats what you get for leaving us for so long LOL You are stron to see that movie. I want to, but I dont want to work myself up too much, so I try to avoid movies like that. I mean I got upset over the switch Just try to stay strong, and avoid triggers :hugs:

Haribo--- How many DPO are you? Spotting is a good sign as long as it is not the witch!! I am going to have to look into all the books everyone keeps requesting. For me, I love to read, but Im scared to read them, do what it says just to gets my hopes up then crushed!!

Lauren---Your acupuncturist sounds so great!!! At least now you know that either way it will be fixed!!


Thank you all for being so supportive!! :hugs:
I went into the Urgent Care and the Dr. was way to energetic than I was comfortable with LOL. Way to much caffeine for her.:haha: Anyways I got a few x-rays and she said I have a severe strain, and a ligament tear. She gave me a cortisone shot for the swelling, and prescribed me Vicodin. I talked to my mom, and she suggested I go and see my orthopedic specialist that I saw in high school. I didnt want to tell her I really cant afford it:shrug:. Well I decided I am not going to take the Vicadin because first of all, it is a narcotic, and second, I have a very addictive personality, so I avoid medicine as much as I can.:nope: The pain is not horrible when Im not moving LOL. Well On another note, I am 3 DPO and no symptoms except a lot of creamy cum, I just feel really wet, and horney:blush: I really wanted to BD but OH turned me down cause he was scared of hurting my knee:blush:. He had good intentions, but it kind of hurt my ego, and feelings. I am a bit touchy after ovulation:cry:. On another note I weighed myself, and I am up a bit cause I havent been able to do anything. Its really bumming me out.:wacko: I hate sitting around and not doing anything, and I have no balance, so I suck on the crutches LOL:haha:. I am craving caffeine, and sugar. I really want a coffee and chocolate bar:coffee:

Well until tomorrow. Good night all!!!
:hugs: to all!!


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## lauren26

Sashimi, looking at this on my phone and watching a movie in the computer lol. It's a rare night when I can't post because it takes so long on my phone. :) but I would have! Lol.


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## SashimiMimi

Oh pino, your poor knee! I'm sure with a little rest you'll be as good as new. Take it easy!

I read an article in the paper today that said the U.K. is trying to get IVF covered by public health insurance for women under 40 and a group of activists are trying to do the same in Canada. It's really unfair that there are women who try for years and would likely get a BFP with IVF but can't because of money. Reading that made me feel like there is awareness around the fact that many women struggle with starting their families.

No resolution was made regarding the friends. OH insisted that he go an explain I can't be around babies. He just doesn't get it. First of all that's not how it is, I'm in a complex situation and how I feel so no one else's business, especially not theirs. I just don't see whats wrong with saying we are tied up for the next two weeks and would love to see them when we return at the end of June. Normally we book things months in advance anyway, but OH thinks that we will sound suspicious if we say that. He's actually gone to bed mad at me over this and now I can't sleep because I'm so upset. It's a small thing but I can't believe I am even being put in this situation.


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## Pino6161

Oh sweety i am so sorry !!!! Men don't understand all that ttc takes out of us and how vulnerable we are. especially in your case as you have been through so much and trying so hard.. please try not to stress!!! your oh needs to try to understand. you understand his position but don't agree with it, but he is not trying to understand at all. i think the only thing really to do is let him go but say you have the flu and don't want the baby to get sick. there is no reason he should tell them about your ttc issues. compromise. i mean as new parents they don't want the kid to get sick and you don't have to go. i mean you are not necessarily lying just expanding the truth a bit. Your oh can go but let him know that you don't think it is right him choosing his friends over his wife. he should be there supporting you not worrying about what others think!! I hope you get some rest and know we are all here for you!!! :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


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## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> Preg - How are you feeling? Have you had an appt. yet?

Nope, not yet. I´ll be out of country until I´m 7 weeks... so, I´m calling then (next wednesday), I don´t know how long I´ll have to wait for an appointment, probably less than a week.



Pino6161 said:


> So my knee has a severe strain, and a torn ligament.... I will be on later




Pino6161 said:


> Thank you all for being so supportive!! :hugs:
> I went into the Urgent Care and the Dr. was way to energetic than I was comfortable with LOL. Way to much caffeine for her.:haha: Anyways I got a few x-rays and she said I have a severe strain, and a ligament tear. She gave me a cortisone shot for the swelling, and prescribed me Vicodin. I talked to my mom, and she suggested I go and see my orthopedic specialist that I saw in high school. I didnt want to tell her I really cant afford it:shrug:. Well I decided I am not going to take the Vicadin because first of all, it is a narcotic, and second, I have a very addictive personality, so I avoid medicine as much as I can.:nope: The pain is not horrible when Im not moving LOL. Well On another note, I am 3 DPO and no symptoms except a lot of creamy cum, I just feel really wet, and horney:blush: I really wanted to BD but OH turned me down cause he was scared of hurting my knee:blush:. He had good intentions, but it kind of hurt my ego, and feelings. I am a bit touchy after ovulation:cry:. On another note I weighed myself, and I am up a bit cause I havent been able to do anything. Its really bumming me out.:wacko: I hate sitting around and not doing anything, and I have no balance, so I suck on the crutches LOL:haha:. I am craving caffeine, and sugar. I really want a coffee and chocolate bar:coffee:
> 
> Well until tomorrow. Good night all!!!
> :hugs: to all!!

Ouch, was it completely torn, or partially? Cause partially is good, then you can do non-strenuous stuff, but if it´s completely torn, you need surgery (and those can be hell).

Whenever I crave chocolate, I munch on 12 fresh almonds instead, and then drink a bunch of water after (since almonds tend to be a bit dry).
Feel full for 2-3 hours afterwards, and all cravings gone :)


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## treasured

Girls!! I'm going on holiday today!! Omg two week's without you all I dont know what I'll do! I will have soooo much to catch up on when Im back, hoping for some bfp's to return to, fingers crossed for everyone! I will also know for sure Im in or out this month, although I'd I get a bfp's I will nit be able to resist coming on here to tell you all! I'm roughly 9dpo and have had no symptoms, dont know whether it's good or bad but f ddoesn't feel like af I'd coming quite yet. Will do a more detailed post on my return! Love and hope for you all!!! Xxxx


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## preg_pilot

Fingers crossed you´ll be sharing good news with us when you get back :)


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## lxb

treasured - gluck!! FX for that BFP! Enjoy your vacation~

pino - take it easy and don't worry too much about that weight right now. focus on recovering~ how are you feeling today?

sashimi - agree with pino. if he really wants to go.. then let him go and let him tell the friends that you have a flu and won't want to be around newborn baby. (That's.. semi-true! :)) He needs to stop focusing on what other people might think and need to focus on your feelings. I dont think it's unreasonable (or maybe because I'm a female too? :haha:) :hugs: deep breath... don't let other people affect the two of you~

country - how r u feeling??? any symptoms?


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## countrygirl86

Pino - I'm so glad you had your knee looked at! Is it supposed to heal on its own now? The Switch was a little emotional too haha or maybe it's just me? It was more their relationship that got me, not the actual baby.

preg_pilot - any other symptoms? When are you due? Almonds are a great idea, I used to eat some but the skins got stuck in my throat and I would have an awful coughing fit lol but they're so good for you, what are the fresh ones like?

haribo - I agree, 90 pages is incredible! I wouldn't want to see what I'd be like without all of you lol some sort of TTC monster like Sashimi being the Hulk! Glad you feel better after a night's rest. That book sounds interesting! Depending on how our doctor visits go I might pick that up. How lovely to have an extra day off to celebrate the Queen, we are a commonwealth country, we should get it too! :shrug:

Sashimi - I'm sorry to hear DH is being unresponsive. I'm hoping he comes around and understands not only that you don't want to go but also your reasoning (and not wanting to tell them everything at this point). Could you let him on here to see our views? I've read something about the UK and Canada too, I found a website where they're trying to get the gov't to do more about IVF because women are pushing for more embryos resulting in more multiples which costs the healthcare system more than if the gov't was helping pay. It would be so nice to have this included but it's doubtful.

lauren - that's what we're all here for! The first thing I do after my doctor's appointment will be come on here and tell you all about it! It's true, I should be happy he's come this far, a year ago he had a much harder time talking about it at all and look how far we've come. He IS male after all and they generally aren't good at talking about feelings :wacko:

lxb - let's all hope for flu like symptoms lol I've heard that too! I'm feeling good, I could try to find symptoms (boobs seem bigger, random smells drive me crazy) but I have no faith in this cycle lol I'm just looking forward to the next, I want my pre-O libido back! How are you? Any symptoms?

treasured - I sure hope to see you pop on to say you've got it! Have a blast for us! 

I'm feeling better today, just needed to get all that nonsense off my chest I guess. DH pointed out that in the next two weeks we are making progress so I just need to relax lol cause you all know how easy that is when TTC!


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## SleepyOwl

Pino - Eek, that sounds painful!! Like the others said, don't worry about the weight and just focus on healing so you can get back into the swing of things when you are totally better. I can identify with you on the chocolate craving - I had half a King size bag of peanut M&M's last night. Felt so gross afterwards but I couldn't stop myself. 

Country - Glad you are feeling better. You and OH are definitely making lots of progress! I hope when you go to your doctor's appt you're asking for a beta test :haha:

Sashimi - How frustrating about OH. I think the others had some good advice - remind him that he needs to put your feelings above his concerns of what others think of you two. This is such a delicate time and you both are going through so much, the last thing you need is to not be on the same page. It is so hard for our hubbies to understand sometime. 

Treasured - Have a great time on holiday! I hope there's lots of good news to share when you return :)

Lxb - Your temps still look good. How are you feeling? Planning on testing again? 

I have such a busy day ahead. OH and I are both off until Monday and his friends come into town on tomorrow night. I have tons of cleaning to do and just lots of house stuff and organizing. Hopefully it's productive and will keep my mind off my nonexistent symptoms :blush:


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks, Country! I did try and read OH some of the responses from you guys last night, but he still feels we are being rude. I think another reason this is getting under my skin is that this whole situation is very reminiscent of the beginning of our relationship. I always felt OH put the said friend above me and now he is doing it again. We didn't get off to a much better start this morning either, he still seemed angry and I don't think this should have been blown up into a big issue. But when it comes to these friends, it's like we have to stop everything we are doing and roll out the red carpet for them. I don't get it at all. 

I don't know if it is the progesterone supplements or what, but I'm an emotional basket case today. Before I left, my dry cleaner called and said they couldn't clean a new dress I dropped off there because they felt it would damage the fabric. It says dry clean only, so I'm more nervous to wash it myself! On any other day, it wouldn't have bothered me but I felt like crying on the phone with the dry cleaner.

After that I got on the subway and the entire train shut down. They said they had a track level injury at another station, which usually means someone jumped in front of the train. So they kicked everyone off and I had to get out and it just happened to be right outside where I USED to work... The place where I had that horrible work experience. Cue the flashbacks! So again, I start feeling choked up because of my dry cleaning and now because the subway shutdown in the worst location possible. So I had to take a cab to work. I called OH before I went into the office for a pep talk, but he was busy and I still don't feel I'm getting the emotional support I need.

Just now I went for lunch with someone. I was telling this co-worker about spending time with my niece and nephew on the weekend and he suddenly asked if I have any babies on the way. I literally stopped dead in my tracks and went silent. It got awkward and he was like Ummm... I was just asking because so many people are on mat-leave right now and it seems to be a trend. So I just muttered, no not that I know of... (Now that I think of it, this guy is the IT person so I wonder if he can see me going on BnB at work!! LOL!!) 

So anyway, I called OH again and said Fine... I'll go to dinner. It's causing too many problems between us. He said I don't have to and he will just go on his own. 

Anyone else here feel like this is the longest TWW ever?

Treasured enjoy your trip! and good luck!

Pino how do you feel today?

lxb thanks for your kind words. I really do need to take a deep breath today!

Is anyone else feeling overly emotional this tww? My cold is clearing up, just a slightly stuffy nose. I do feel sensitive to smell somewhat, normally I can't smell OH's cologne because I'm so used to it after 8 years, but the past two days I find it too overwhelming to be around. Other than that, I'm a basket case but that does seem to be a trend while on progesterone. Sore boobs, but could also be from progesterone, so it's tough to read in to anything!


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## SashimiMimi

Ahh Sleepy! We posted at the same time. Thanks, I totally agree. Good luck with the busy weekend coming up. I guess you have a long weekend in the States, where we had it last weekend... Honestly it wasn't long enough!!!


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## lxb

Sashimi - sorry to hear about your day today. and good luck on the dinner~ Agree with Sleepy that the last thing you need is for you two to be on different page. I hope your OH will be able to understand what you're feeling and be more supportive. Feeling that he's putting his friends over you is certainly not helping .. especially during ttc. Maybe he just feels bad that he kept putting them off?

Hmm... sensitivity to smell is a good sign. I've always been sensitive to smell... so that can't be one of my symptoms! DH's farts could not escape my nose! Whenever I smell something bad, I would turned to him "did you fart? :growlmad:" :haha: :haha: and he would be like ":growlmad: noooo" (but it usually is a yes/:blush: 98% of the time) :haha:

I've been feeling emotional lately as well. Yesterday, DH said that a friend of his asked him to go play golf on Saturday (Early tee-time, 6:30am. And should be done at around noon). And instantly, I was mad and said... I thought we're going to go crawfishing? (Even though we have not asked this other couple yet) Then he tried to explain to me that he won't go if the couple agree to go crawfishing and that he's trying to communicate. :dohh: I guess I jumped the gun.... :gun:

Planning to test if my temp stays up tomorrow~~ :) So excited for the POAS we will be doing~ :haha:


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## countrygirl86

Sleepy - I had to google what a beta test was :dohh: Um it's the whole reason I'm in this mess lol If I don't have AF by then it would be perfect timing really! Enjoy your long weekend! Hopefully the company will keep your mind off the tww.

Sashimi - Have you decided to go for sure then? On the plus side, she may be so consumed talking about herself and new baby to not pester you (hoping). The last few days have felt really long to me! This cycle has been very full and stressful for you so now that things have calmed a little it probably feels extra long. Are you thinking of sneaking in a test soon? I have definitely been more emotional but your symptoms sound like something else to me... :yellow:

lxb - lol @ DH's farts! Mine has awful gas very often lol WOO our first tester in a while! Come on BFP!


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## Pino6161

Preg--- It was a partial tear, so I was lucky, but they said that at this point I will need surgery within the next couple of years. I dont like nuts very much at all!! When I was a kid we ate so much of them, I cant stand them anymore!!

Treasured--- Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! You not allowed to go!!! LOL. If you do get your BFP, or AF, please let us know, or we will be wondering for 2 weeks!! Have fun, and relax for the both of us LOL!! :hugs: XxxOooo

CountryI agree w/ your OH! Take a chill piill LOL:kiss:

Sleepy--- Since I am not allowed to do anything you can come clean my house to!! Its not bad, just little things, but my OCD self is going nuts looking at it!! LOL Keep yourself busy, and next thing you know,:bfp:!!

SashimiMimi--- I know what you mean, my OH was the same way! His friends always came first, and that probably didnt change until about a year ago whe we got into a HUGE fight about it. I am sorry about your day being an emotional one! I really do hope it gets better. When people ask its like a slap in the face Dont they know it is rude? I mean seriously!! My OHs family does that every time we see them, and they dont even know we r TTC. Its like, when I do I will tell you damn. I really dont think you should have given in about the friends. Especially with how emotionally vulnerable you are but I support you either way. Stay strong Mi Amor! :hugs:

Lxb--- you made me LOL. Your OH sounds just like mine:haha: LOL!! Ooohh if they knew all we said on here LOL! Your symptoms all sound great!! So excited for you to :test:!!

Well, I woke up this morning in pain but luckily OH was there to help me get up. The pain has subsided a bit so that is good. Well my weight loss is going better than I thought. I weigh myself every morning after I use the restroom, and at night right before bed. So far here are my numbers::
Day#------AM------PM
Day1----235.0----237.8
Day2----235.0----235.6
Day3----233.4----236.4
Day4----232.6----236.2
Day5----234.6----238.6
Day6----232.8
It is going down, just slowly if you scrap day 5. So I am not as upset about it this morning. I know that I should not worry about it cause of the knee, but I really want to get my weight down!! All of my weight, like my dad goes straight through the stomach, so people always ask if I am pregnant. SO frustrating!!!

I am 4DPO and nothing really to report except for gas:blush:, but I think its all the vitamins LOL, cause OH has it too. Which totally makes my initial thoughts of this NOT being my month so much more bold:shrug:. Oh well, just ready for AF to come so I can start using my monitor:happydance::happydance:!! LOL


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## Pino6161

So I was flipping channels and I found a show called Life before birth. It's about the developement of children in the womb. Well I was waiting for it to start and I caught the end of I didn't know I was pregnant. I cryed. How can these women, not even trying, and on birth-control get what I have been trying so hard to get for 2 years! How is that fair. I am really emotional right now


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## Pino6161

Did you know sperm only move a tenth of an inch a minute?? 99% of the sperm are usually killed instantly. 1 in 5 survive. It usually takes them 2 hours just to reach the cervix. Out of the 2 1/2 million survivers the mucous in the cervix kills most. Only tens of thousands survive. 95% of the sperm going through the cervix survive which leaves only about 3000. It takes 12 hours to reach the uterous where "lucosites" surround the slowest sperm. Killing them. survival of the fittest. Now there are only about a dozen. At the entrance of the falopian tube only the ones that swim in the correct pattern survive. They wait there. When the egg comes into the tube they race to it, and when one inserts it, the egg releases an electric shock killing off the rest. It takes 24 hours for all of that.

That was the first 10 minutes of the show. Seriously?? That gives me lots of hope...NOT. I know it's all educational and stuff, but if that didn't crush my hopes I am scared to know what will. I mean, I know you only need one, but knowing only 1 is left after all of that is horrible!!


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## lauren26

Quick update: I love my new doc!!! I have been srsly back to back today--I will read all the pages I've missed and write you all later :)


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- I am SOOOO glad you like your dr!! It's about time you get someone compitent


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## SashimiMimi

Yay Lauren! Great news can't wait to hear all about it!!!


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## SashimiMimi

So on the topic of OH farts, I felt the need to share the tale of 'The 1600 Square Foot Fart' with all of you.

It happened a couple summers ago, I was minding my own business upstairs when all of a sudden it seemed like noxious gases were slowly seeping into the entire top floor of our home. Acting quick, I managed to grab a hand towel out of the linen cupboard to cover my face and ran downstairs to warn OH who was in the kitchen doing dishes. When I removed the towel from my nose and opened my mouth to speak, the noxious gas filled the back of my throat and I started coughing and choking while my eyes welled up with tears. After several moments of blurred vision, I looked up at OH to see a very sheepish look on his face. I was standing right in the hub of the source of the toxic gas... OH had let one rip in the kitchen big time and it was filling the ENTIRE HOUSE!!!

I ran into the basement, only to find that the lower half of the house hadn't been spared either. I asked how the hell one fart filled the entire house!?? We had to open all the windows, turn on the kitchen oven fan and get the Febreeze out. 

OH explained that he had an upset stomach all day and had been farting in his office on several occasions. He immediately texted a co-worker to see if it had been as bad as what I had just experienced, as his office at the time was a small, enclosed space and he had people coming in and out of there for meetings. 

That fart still haunts me to this day. It was one of the worst sewage smells I have ever experienced! 

Back to TTC speak, I haven't full decided what to do about Saturday. I'm feeling less like a wreck this evening, so it's easier for me to think about it with a clear mind. As most of you might experience during the TWW, emotions can be pretty unpredictable. 

I'm not going to POAS right now because the ovulation trigger shot I received right before the IUI can give a false positive if I test too early. I need to wait until it is completely out of my system. I'll probably do a HPT on the morning of my blood test just so I can expect what the answer will be.


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## Pino6161

SashimiMimi---I love your story!!! you made me laugh, and my OH is looking at me like I'm ********!!! 

We will support you no matter what you decide to do on Sat.

When is your appt??


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## SashimiMimi

Haha Pino! Glad the story made you smile. It cracks me up when I think about it, but at the time I wanted to call the doctor because I was convinced he must be have been sick. I asked him this evening if he would mind of I told the "1600 story" on my board and he was like go ahead! LOL

I'm going to test Wednesday of next week May 30. I'm dreading getting the call from the nurse while I'm at work. Part of me wants to turn my cell phone off, have them leave a message and check it when I get home. I don't think I will have the will power to do something like that. 

How is your knee? Are you resting?


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## Pino6161

I am resting, but I am very stir crazy!! 

I give you props for holding off until the 30th, I don't have the will power LOL. O would take a test, just for the false positive, that way when the real BFP comes I could compare LOL.


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## lauren26

OMG this day is still going!! Soooo tiiiiired....I WILL write tonight and catch up with everyone! Promise :)


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## SashimiMimi

We will be waiting Lauren!!!

Pino, I've never been one to test early. I only had my IUI done a week ago today, so I feel like it would be too early to get an accurate result. Although, it would be interesting to test a trigger shot BFP and compare it to a real BFP. 

I feel like a BFN at this point would be too upsetting, as well a BFP that may or may not be false would also be upsetting. I can't say I really have my hopes up this month, but we'll see.


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - So glad you like your new doctor! Can't wait to hear all about it - share your new wealth of knowledge with us lol!!

Sashimi - Sounds like a rough day. Hopefully your evening was a bit better. I'm with you - this TWW is much more emotional for whatever reason. Everything is getting to me as well! Umm I just scrolled back up and read your OH noxious gas story - HAHAHAHAHAHA!! My OH keeps asking me what I'm reading and I can barely respond. That is hilarious. 

Pino - After all that info from your show, I am certain I am not pregnant!! It seems darn near impossible!!!! Those poor sperm up against every possible obstacle. No wonder I haven't seen a BFP yet. How's your knee feeling?

OH is getting on my dang nerves!! We got in a huge argument about the house not being clean and I basically shouted at him and told him to leave me alone. Then I cried in my closet like a loser. Usually I have a bit more self control, but for whatever reason I am seriously irritated. Probably because of the 3 hour trip to Home Depot, followed by the 2 hour grass seed spreading I was forced to take part in immediately after in the humidity. Ughh. Annoying!


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## lauren26

Whew!! Now I too know the overwhelm of not getting on for a day and a half! Lol. 

Pino - That's not good news about your knee BUT at least you won't have to have surgery immediately! That show I Didn't Know I was Pregnant is insane. Unbelievable. Of course, my friend with two kids who was over recently called her CM 'discharge'....I was like, you don't have an infection. I don't know why it bugged me but I was like, how do you not know what's happening in your body and what it's called? I saw one of those episodes where the woman went in to the ER with suspected apendicitis and immediately gave birth to premie twins...Anyway, maybe since you're immobile for now you can focus on the diet part of your weight loss plan? Or do some Sit and Be Fit exercises? Lol. I'm always jealous of the old ladies at the Y doing that--it looks relaxing! Take good care of yourself though and don't push it! Don't want you to get more hurt :) THANKS for the excitement about my doc!

Sashimi - LOLLLLLLLLLLL on the super fart. That sounds HORRIBLE! I admit that I was guilty of a few dorm-room filling farts my first year of college when I decided to become vegetarian. Not the diet for me, apparently! I am sorry that your OH is being difficult about the dinner. It's so hard when you feel like you're not top priority to your OH. I feel that way about my OH and his mother sometimes--he is a serious mama's boy. He cleans her kitchen, does dishes, and helps with the grilling when we're at her house--and offers to paint rooms and clean her garage!! Yet he can't manage to find the 'time' to put his used dishes in the sink at our house...Sorry for the OH vent, just had a little tiff, lol. Anyway, like Pino said, we will support you no matter what. Just do what feels good to YOU and take care of yourself. That day sounds so miserable! And that's sad that people throw themselves in front of trains often. I hope tomorrow is an easier day and easier commute for you!

Sleepy!!!! :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: My OH and I just had a fight about cleaning, too. And I am f***ing pissed!! I told him to leave me alone, too. Ugh, MEN!! Sometimes they are the worst! I love my OH, don't get me wrong, but srsly... I hope your symptoms are the real deal! It's so hard not to try and see everything as a symptom, I feel you. 

lxb - Oooooo I'm so excited for you to test again!! That chart's looking mighty fine ;) And I just realized you had a thing with your OH, too! What's with our OH's not coming through this week??? Lame Lame Lame!!!!!!! With capital 'L's! I hope you get to go crayfishing, that sounds fun!

country - Girrrrrl it's SO hard to relax when TTC! Especially in the TWW! But it is great that you'll be getting some answers and information soon. I can't wait to hear how it goes! So are you going to test at all? I know that you are totally convinced you're out for the month, but I'm not!!

I feel like I'm missing some stuff, y'all, sorry if I am! Even 3 pages is a lot of juicy info and tidbits to wade through! 

Well, I have so much info about the doc that I don't know that I can say it all here! The hour FLEW by. And it was amazing that for a $30 copay I got an entire hour with this amazing specialist. Her office was beautiful, she was so nice and had the most calm and steady energy, she had awards for patient care and helpfulness on her walls and so many degrees. I felt safe and at home! She said that my progesterone did look low but that the thing that concerned her more was that my luteal phase is only 12 days AND I have spotting and haven't gotten pg in 11 months. She said that the lut phase in itself wouldn't necessarily be a problem but with the spotting it was. She thinks that I am not ovulating strongly enough or something and is doing a bunch of blood work that should give more reliable info than the bloods my other doc did. She is doing the progesterone on the correct cycle day, lol, and doing something called AFM (I think?) and prolactin. She will do an ultrasound while I'm on my period (gross!!!) and the other first week tests. She wanted to do an HSG and something else that wasn't covered by my insurance and without me mentioning anything was like, 'You're deductible is SO high--let's just hold off on these!' That made me feel good because the 'normal' panel and cycle this clinic usually requires for new patients is probably over $5000 all added up. She's getting as much info as she can without doing any of those. Which works for me right now. Anyway, the one thing that concerned me (though she said it so calmly that it didn't freak me out in the moment) was that she wants to check to make sure my eggs and ovaries aren't 'acting as if they're ten years older than they are'. Which could be why my ovulation isn't strong. That sounds worst case scenario to me and I don't think it's a real possibility. Anyway, she assumes that we will do a low dose of Clomid or the L med plus progesterone. She didn't want to do prog. alone because it could mask the real underlying problem, though she did give me some samples for this cycle--enough to take on vaca and see if it affects spotting and in case I am pregnant. I'm so excited! I LOVE HER!! She's amazing and was sympathetic about my other doc and basically confirmed that I shouldn't go to her again. Lol. I don't know what else there is to tell....lots and lots more info but this is getting epic in length and I'm tirrrred. 

Thanks for being here, ladies! I honestly don't know what I'd do without you all to share with and support and get supported by. :hugs::hugs::hugs: BFPs all around!! Lol. I feel like we deserve them soooo much just because we're awesome friends to each other!


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## lauren26

Oh one more thing I liked about this magical new doc: she said 'If you are pg this month stay on the progesterone'. I've had a lot of 'If you are pg this month' from other docs, acupuncturist, etc etc etc (everyone I know) and for the FIRST time ever my mind didn't immediately go to the thought 'Yeah, IF--like I'll ever be pg!' and totally spiral into negativity. I feel like she has this finesse in discussing this stuff. I guess she has to have it since she's a fertility specialist!


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## Pino6161

SashimiMimi&#8212;I understand wanting to wait. With IUI it is especially difficult to test early. My fingers are crossed for you though, Make this you last obstacle!

Sleepy--- I agree! I told my OH about it today, and he said it made him feel like he had to be superman, cause are bodies are killing all his buddies. It made me giggle the way he put it, I now understand how much more difficult w/ men w. a lower count. On the whole clean house thing, I understand that. With me it&#8217;s more cause my OH throws his stuff wherever. I snapped for absolutely no reason today as well. My OH wanted to play video games, so we were playing football. I lost and started yelling and crying. I was kinda embarrassing. I&#8217;m a sore loser as it is, but this was a new low for me. We are emotional, and OH&#8217;s need to get over it, I mean look at us in the 2WW&#8230;Can you imagine 9 months of hormones??

Lauren--- All I can really say, is you make me want to go up to CO just to see your Dr. LOL 
I am excited for you, at least now you know she will help you through no matter what, and she isn&#8217;t skipping a step. Most Dr. don&#8217;t care about deductibles, it says something that she actually looked. I am so happy for you!!

So knee is feeling a bit better I guess, but I am a bit bored. You guys all need to post more often to keep me busy LOL. I know, I know you all have LIFES LOL. Well I was in such a mood when OH got home, I am snappy tonight. I despise the 2ww!!


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## preg_pilot

countrygirl86 - No, no new symptoms. But the feeling of actually being pregnant is increasing. I woke up 2 hours before I intended to, because my belly just felt so weird, and I´m actually still tired.

I took a digi this morning, sorry it´s in danish. Gravid=Pregnant, when Ikke Gravid=Not Pregnant.

Here is the pic :)



Pino6161 - that´s a small blessing then. I lasted for a while with a partial tear just had to be careful not to twist my knee.
About the nuts - if you don´t like those, baby carrots are always good to munch at when you´re feeling peckish :)

lauren26 - it´s wonderful hearing about your new doctor, I hope things finally start going your way :hugs:


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## countrygirl86

Pino - See what I mean about emotions?!?! I'm much better today :) That show sounds a lot like the Great Sperm Race! So informative!

Lauren - So happy for you! Your doctor sounds fantastic! Sucks about that test while you have AF but it must be necessary and they'll be used to it. Glad you are feeling a little more optimistic about yourself too! I might test in the morning... I'll let you all know that it's a BFN of course lol

Sashimi - your fart story had me laughing out loud! I don't know about your DH but mine would be proud of something like that! We'll be waiting to hear the word Wednesday!

Sleepy - Sounds like all of our OHs are getting themselves into trouble this week! Hope they all show up with roses tomorrow for us :flower: especially yours!

preg_pilot - Thanks for showing the pic! So cool that you feel pregnant :hugs:

I might test in the morning, just to satisfy the urge! Watched the Great Sperm Race last night, made me realize how difficult it is! With two totally healthy people! Hope everyone has a nice weekend, especially all of you with a long weekend!


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## lxb

Sashimi - :haha: :haha: @ the fart story!! I think all our OHs have that in common~~???? I remember I was woken up by DH's fart one night.... both the sound & the smell!!! I had to get up and spray some perfume near his butt area and sleep with a pillow on my face!! urgh.. sooooo horrible! DH lovesss shrimp/crab. Years ago we were in Las Vegas and had their buffet. Afterward, he can't stop farting!!! It's like every 5 steps! :dohh: We all asked him to walk behind us as it was just too much to take in when we were just strolling along the strips... :haha:

Lauren - soooo glad you are happy with you new doctor!! Maybe this will be the first of many positive things to come!! :dance: Ah... it's hard to feel OH is putting his mother before you sometimes. I felt the exact same way when we just moved in together. He would talk to him mom about his day... about certain things but never really do that with me. :growlmad: He has gotten a lot better now though. O.M.G... sometimes last year, he was not watching tv (like he always does) when I got home from work. The whole house was really quiet. And I heard some chatters going on upstairs. As I was walking up... I overheard DH was "discussing" with him mom about my sister... me... my family. That is just a huggeee slap in the face! I know it's normal to talk to you family about your OH and sometime to complain about them. But c'mon... can't you close the door?!?! Right when I overheard what they were talking about, I immediate when back to the kitchen and start prepping dinner. I was pissed and upset. 30min later, DH came down and said.. "oh.. didn't know u were home~". He immediately spotted I was acting weird.. and asked "are you okay?". I then started to tear up! And told him what I overheard. The first thing he said was "u know this is normal right? for me and my mom to talk about these things". Ohh.. that just got me even more :growlmad: ... then he apologize that he understands that this is not something I need after a long day of work. 

Sleepy - Ah... we had those fight too! DH complained about things laying around. And I looked at him and said.. "well... clean it up!" and I went on and say something like how he shouldnt' assume this is my responsibility and we both work. Oh.. boy I'm so glad I have a job, I would go CRAZY if i had to stay home with his mom all day long. :dohh:

Pino - glad your knee is feeling better. :hugs: 2ww is a few days too long! y can't we just know right after we BD?! :haha: won't that be an ideal world~ (kinda)

Preg_pilot - love the pic!!!! :happydance: isn't it such a lovely word??

country - gluck testing~~~~ !!!! FX!! :dust:

We're all so emotional~~ :haha: I had a talk with DH the other day about these whole "emotional" thing. And said I might be even more emotional when I'm pregnant and told him about "mood swing". And he said "I guess I can take that" ... :haha: well... he better!!!

As for me, temp is still up today so I POAS and got a BFN~ And I begin to wonder if my thermometer is broken :shrug: :haha:

Still trying to figure out what to do for the long weekend. The couple that we asked to go crawfishing with is busy over the weekend... so I guess we shall see what comes up. :shrug:


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## Pino6161

Country--- From what I hear, the show is a lot quite like the Sperm Race, except my computer is dumb cause I use my hotspot as internet, and trying to watch it is a pain in the ass. So I settled for this show. FX for your BFP in the morning!!

Lxb--- Sorry about the neg, but since AF was supposed to show, and didn&#8217;t, I still have hope for you!!

Lauren, and lxb--- I think it is normal for OH&#8217;s to be like that with mothers. When we first moved out, he would call her every day! It drove me nuts! I finally put my foot down saying that if he wanted to talk about his day, I am right here!!

Well I woke up at 8am this morning, cause I slept decently for once!! I think I am going to clean the house a bit even though Dr said not doing anything. I told my OH screw that my house is starting to look bad, and I was going to clean it! My OH was so sweet and said that when he gets home, he will do dishes. He has never volunteered EVER LOL!!! Although it is sweet to me now, last night it made me mad. It really does bother me when other people clean my house. It&#8217;s never done right unless I do it. Another OCD thing, it&#8217;s also the reason OH never volunteers&#8230;


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## lauren26

Pino - Oh honey! I have been such a b**** with my husband, too! I don't know what's come over me. Something in the stars is telling us to not get along with our OH's! That's so rough being stuck and immobile. When I had my ankle thing I couldn't stand for more than 10 min or walk more than a block for 3 months. It was awful! Even with my boot, which was way dorky. Yes, like preg said, carrots are good with hummus maybe. I hope your video game rage is a good sign! :)

preg - Woohoo! I looked at the pic before I read the Danish part and I was so confused, lol.

country - Still not counting you out yet! :) That's soooo funny that your OH would be proud of his super fart. Mine probably would too! He takes pride in his manhood in such interesting ways, lol. That Great Sperm Race really discouraged me! But I just kept reminding myself and OH the whole time that, yes, it's incredibly amazing that anyone gets pregnant at all with only 2 sperm making it to the finish, but sperm were MADE to do just that! I have to remind myself of that or I'll just cry, lol. 

lxb - Lollllllll that is soo funny! My OH is the same way. Give him one wrong snack and it's over for the next 3 days! I keep a spritzer bottle of lavender water in our living room for just those occasions. That would PISS me if my OH was caught doing that! He's pretty diplomatic about my family's issues and quirks. I am probably worse about it than him, actually, but I am never mean or sneaky about it. Yuck! I'm sorry--that probably especially stung given how horrible your MIL is! I hope he stopped doing it! Plus, it's normal in some ways but it's more normal for him to share with you first! That would have really revved my engine! Or maybe I'm just CRAZY irritable right now, lol. And girl, your chart is looking super good! you normally have a 12 day LP, right? And your temps aren't down at all!! That's awesome :) :) :) Sometimes it takes a few days after to get a +. My SIL said she didn't get a + until the day she missed her period and that it was super faint even then. GL! Can't wait to see a BFP from you.


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- Being a bitch is a normal sign for me post ovulation, but I have to give credit to OH. If he acted like that I don't think I could take it LOL.


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - Why do I feel like I went to a fertility specialist too? Lol - I'm THAT excited about how well your appointment went. I hope this is it for you. I mean no matter what you are getting that BFP. She sounds amazing and like it was just what you needed!! 

Lxb - Your chart is looking mighty fine girlfriend. I hope your temp is up tomorrow too!! We need to keep the BFP's rolling on this thread :happydance: I totally feel you on the MIL thing. I never heard my OH talk about me to his mom, but once when we were leaving their house, my MIL pulled me aside and said that OH should have no stress in his life and that I shouldn't fight with him. I was pissed. You can imagine how unpleasant OH's life was for the next 2 weeks. We've never had an issue after that. 

Country - My OH is SUPER proud of his farts too. After I get over the fumes, I'll make a comment and he'll just respond with, "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do." Really? As for flowers from OH - not likely. If I didn't know better, I would say he's PMSing. 

Pino - I'm the SAME about cleaning! Unless it's my mom or sister. No one else knows how to do it right. It's nice of others to offer, but usually it irks me because I just end cleaning up right after them, lol!!

Preg - Lovely pee stick!!!! So happy for you. When are you leaving to start training for work? Don't leave us!!

No symptoms for me - or at least nothing unusual. Boobs slightly sore and I'm feeling like a super b**** but honestly I think it's because I'm tired. I've been going to bed WAY too late and too much house cleaning can get to anyone! I'm really looking forward to the weekend and having friends come by and enjoying the long weekend!

Random but my temps are really low this cycle it seems or at least close to the coverline - do you guys think that's just because my pre-O temps were pretty high for whatever reason? That's my best guess but just wanted some opinions!!


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## Pino6161

Sleepy--- At least I am not the only one that is pickey about cleaning. The ONLY one that I wold even think about letting is my mom cause she is the same way.

The only reason I can think of your temp being low is cause it was high early on IDK though, but since this is a first for you, it makes me wonder... THis could be your month, cause it is something new. FX :hugs:


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## Pino6161

On a side note... remember a while ago, and I was having problems with the water? Well the pump in our well kept blowing the fuse. Since that kept happening, it blew our motor. Now I was just told I will only have water from 7-8AM and 7-8PM. I am in the middle of laundry. So irritated, cause it ALWAYS happens when I'm doing laundry! This is NOT my day!!!


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## lauren26

Pino - I know! I don't tolerate OH's PMSing nearly as well as he tolerates mine, lol. That sucks about your water! How many days will that be the situation?

Sleepy - That would have made my blood boil if my MIL said that to me!!! Helllll to the no! At least you got that out of the way. I think that your CL is just higher because your pre-O temps were higher--I don't think it's bad in any way! Fx that your BFP is right around the corner!


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## Pino6161

lauren--- I know. He puts up with it quite well so I do have to give him credit, just not let him know I am impressed LOL. It's our little secret LOL


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## lxb

lauren - hahaha... i hv that too in our living room. Whenever I tried to do that, DH would be annoyed cuz I'll try to spray it near his butt area! I asked him to try to go to another room instead of farting when he was sitting next to me. He remembered sometimes. haha.. he would run to the kitchen area (which is right next to the family room) and LET IT OUT! Argh... then he would come running back. and brought it WITH him!! So next time, I asked him to walk slowly~~~ It .. kinda.. worked! :haha: :haha: Anyways, about MIL. Yeah... I overheard something about our habits and some critisicm. Drives me nuts!!!!! I think on average I should have 12day LP. So we shall see. I feel like I let myself to have my hopes up for this cycle because of my temp! Would definitely fall down hardddd if/when AF showed! 

Pino & Sleepy - Oh yea! I'm the same way about cleaning. O.M.G... when MIL tries to "help"... it's not helping at all. Especially when she puts stuff away in some random places (Ended up took me daysss to find it).

Pino - that sucks about your water situation. I would go nuts!

Sleepy - I think ur chart looks okay. Maybe it has something to do with your room temperature as you've mentioned before? Loving that dip on 4DPO :dance: hope it's positive sign!

Few days ago I have a few needle like pain (like someone is poking me with a needle on my lower stomach area). It's not so much like cramp. It's just something unusual. Had AF-type cramp this morning when I POAS. Feel a little "wet" today.. as if AF is on its way. Ahhhh... :gun: stay away~~~~


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## Pino6161

So I just found out that because of this long weekend, we could be with no water, a little water until Wednesday. GRRRRR!!!

lxb-- I hope AF stays away!!!


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## Pino6161

Someone of Facebook posted this and I just had to share. It made me laugh!!
 



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## SleepyOwl

Hahaha that is too funny Pino!


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## lauren26

LOL to that one, Pino. 

lxb - Wow, your chart really does look good!! And the needle pinches sound good, lol. I love that you spray the perfume near OH's butt!! My OH gets upset when I spray it in the bathroom when he's done! I'm like, some people need to take a shower and smell nice things! Lol. That's so annoying when people move your stuff! You are a saint--I am very protective of my space and couldn't imagine living with a relative. We did actually stay with our BIL and SIL's house for a couple of months so we could try out their neighborhood and it was AWFUL. Props to you! Hopefully when you get your BFP (....this month....:)) you can throw down some pg lady rules! Just curious--how long have you been TTC?

Sashimi - So the progesterone I am on is a cream that's inserted vaginally. I guess that's not technically a suppository? Anyway, they said I should absorb most of it, and I def. got a little leakage when I woke up (did the overnight thing), and I've also had (TMI alert!) a lot of crumbly dry leftovers in there today...have you experienced that? It makes me think I didn't absorb it, but what do I know!


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## haribo813

Just a quick one as been up VERY early. I got the dreaded AF. Which, come to think of it, means the last 2 months I've had a 27 day cycle and a little spotting on CD25 and 26. Which probably isn't good. I feel deflated and OH away all weekend :( 

Am sure I'll pick myself back up but this is our 11th month but I dare to hope every month and every month i have this awful disappointment.


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## Pino6161

Haribo. I am so sorry. I know the feeling though, and I know hard it can be month after month. We are all here to support you. You can vent and all 

So I cleaned my house up little at a time because of the pain in the knee. Now my house is nice, and I am ok with just resting. Whe I was doing my last load of laundry (with the drips of water I had left) I threw it all on the bed. When I was trying to fold it my furbaby Reina decided she liked it more as a bed LOL. It warmed my heart. She can always make my day better when it is bad!!
 



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## lauren26

haribo - :hugs: that sucks!! I hope you'll have a comfort day :)

Pino - your dog is so cute!


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## Pino6161

So I feel like a BnB addict. I am ALWAYS on here, but mostly it really does help me level myself oout. So sorry if I ramble, and I am hogging the thread.:blush::wacko:

SO tonight, I have still been overly angry. I really didn't have a reason. Me and OH were laying in bed, and seriously found every reason to be angry. So then I got mad because he wasn't getting mad. He was so sweet it made me want to puke. He just said he really had no reason to be angry and yell. He was greatful for what we have. Sweet, yes I know, but it really ticked me off. Sometimes I wish he would get mad too so I could get it out of my system. I know I'm being stupid:haha:.

Well I have been REALLY gassy this evening, and it doesn not smell good:blush:. How am I supposed to act "ladylike" when that :haha: smell is coming from me:blush:.

Just one of those days I guess.

How is everyone else? I am obviously talking WAY to much about myself, yes I know conceited...:blush:


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## preg_pilot

countrygirl - Thanks :) Yea. even more preggers today. Keep waking up because of that little lump :)

lxb - wow, yea. I´m still having trouble believing this though :hugs:

lauren26 - hehe, I laughed when I saw that it was actually in Danish, I didn´t even know it was possible to get these in any other language than english... hilarious.


SleepyOwl - I´m already back from theoretical training, going tomorrow on my first training flight, and the test is on friday. I won´t leave you, don´t worry :hugs:


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## lxb

Pino - :haha: at the pic! Aww how sweet of your OH! Usually when I am mad... My DH would get mad at me for getting mad! Which makes me even more mad!! So u r in a great position! Cute Reina!!

Haribo - :hugs: sorry AF got you. :( hope you manage to feel better! Wrapping myself in a nice cozy blanket... Eat some dessert... And watching some comedy makes me feel better! Perhaps get some manicure/pedicure? :flower:

Lauren - lol..... I do that too! (spray the bathroom when DH is done)!! I usually would hold my breath and go on and spray because too often I found myself gagging if I didn't! I always worries that how am I going to change my kid's poopie diaper?! Ah.. I remember when I babysat my niece, she had a bad diarrhea, and I kept gagging and eyes were so watery that I could hardly see! Haha poor baby girl kept starring at me n wondering what's wrong with auntie. Ah yes.... Looking forward to throw some pg rules!!! :haha: hopefully soon! This is ttc cycle#8 for me. Maybe 8 will be my lucky number. :)


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## SleepyOwl

Haribo - Sorry AF got you. Hope you spend today keeping busy doing things you love or just laying around which is what I love :)

Lxb - Ughhh that BFN is so annoying! I really hope you have an experience like Pregpilot where it just takes a little longer to show up! Your chart looks great still!!

Snuck away from our guests to get on this site hehe. Pino - I'm a BnB addict right along with you.


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## lauren26

lxb - I KNOW!! How will we change diapers? OH is already used to stinky things, so maybe it'll be his job.... :) 

Pino - I am an addict, too!! There's no way I won't be able to come on and read every day while I'm on vacation. I probably won't bring my laptop, though, so I won't be able to post too long of responses :( You know I love to write a loooong reply! Lol. You aren't conceited! Don't be so hard on yourself. We all seek out this site and thread to talk about what's up for us and get and give support. No need to be self conscious. :hugs::hugs:


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## Pino6161

So I am 6dpo. Nothing to really say, but my sex drive is really down, and that's kinda weird for me. I am so ready for next cycle to start so I can start playing with my new toys LOL


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## lauren26

lxb - !! You are late, girl! And those temps are up! Just waiting for good news over here....:coffee:

USA ladies, I hope everyone is having a great Memorial Day weekend! I went to a Mexican Hot Dog party last night (more like Texas hot dog) where they grilled beef dogs wrapped in bacon and covered them with chipotle mayo, refried beans (homemade and very lardy!), guac, onions, cheese, and a mess of other stuff. I just had my dog (s....:blush:) alone--bacon wrapped, of course! And a load of beans. Holy crap it was good! Definitely going to work out this morning, lol. I also had beans 3 meals a day yesterday for some reason, so the smelly shoe is on the other foot...how embarrassing! Anyway, have a great day gals.


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## SleepyOwl

Hahahhaaha Lauren - that hot dog sounds so good, but like a borderline natural disaster waiting to happen! Heading to a Mexican style BBQ today and reallly looking forward to it. Debating whether to give in and have a margarita...yummm! 

Hope you all are enjoying your weekend. Lxb - I'm dying to hear if you tested - your temps look great!!


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## Pino6161

Lauren-- Mexican hotdogs are one of the things I miss the most on my diet. My mother in-law makes them LOL. Sometimes I LOVE being married to a Mexican LOL the only catch is I am a bit tired of Mexican food. I have to say though, my Mexican mother in-law makes the BEST lasagna LOL random.

Sleepy-- Have fun at your bbq!! 

So I slept alot last night, and now I feel kinda weird.


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## lauren26

MMMM I love sleeping a lot!! Good work, Pino, lol. Why do you feel weird? Did you get the sleep-in creepy dreams? I get those every time! My husband naps at least once a day and occasionally naps in the evening. He can fall asleep at 3 and wake up at 6 and just keep on with his day. It's crazy! Anyway, I freaking love Mexican food but I'm a little over it, too, because it makes me feel crazy bloated and gives me a dry throat. How is your knee feeling?


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## Pino6161

My knee is much better. Still a bit sore, but it's better. When I sleep too much, I feel in a kinda fog. IDK. We splurged today, and me and OH both had a soda. Oh well. ONe day isn't going to kill us LOL!!


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## SleepyOwl

Pino - You gotta treat yourself sometimes, right?! I had a margarita tonight. Couldn't resist. OH was making them and they were mango margaritas - SO GOOD. Now I feel like a stink machine because of all the Mexican :blush:


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> So I am 6dpo. Nothing to really say, but my sex drive is really down, and that's kinda weird for me. I am so ready for next cycle to start so I can start playing with my new toys LOL

Hehe, I love that you consider them your "toys" :) Makes it sound much more fun that it is sometimes.



Pino6161 said:


> My knee is much better. Still a bit sore, but it's better. When I sleep too much, I feel in a kinda fog. IDK. We splurged today, and me and OH both had a soda. Oh well. ONe day isn't going to kill us LOL!!

I am on a strict diet 6 days out of the week, but I always let myself have something good on the 7th... works like a charm, and I can spend the next 6 days looking forward to the 7th :)


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## Pino6161

preg-- That'sa good idea, just not dieting on the 7th day. The only thing I see with that is my OH took the day "off" yesterday from the diet, and he splurges ALOT LOL. He needs to learn control! Aand the will be my toys LOL my OH was looking at my monitor,and he said "do I get one of these?" LOL he had no idea what it was!! When I told him, he got a funny look LOL!!

Sleepy-- Ihave been craving a mudslide like crazy. The best drink ever! Chocalate AND alcohol LOL.


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## lxb

Lauren - mmmmm.. That hotdog sounds gooooooood!! I fell like a hotdog now...

Sleepy - mango margarita sounds yummy!! 

Pino - soda!! Make sure it is caffeine free too. I usually drink sprite or root beer whenever I have craving! Hehe... Ah.. So good.

I feel so fruity yesterday! We went to the peach farm... Ate tonsss of peach... Then later went to jamba juice for some fruity smoothie! Then a friend and I made some strawberry crepe cake in the evening. Mmmmm....

How is everyone? May 30th is coming up!! :happydance:

How r u feeling preg_pilot? Still stretching? Hehe...


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## Pino6161

lxb--- I can't have any sugar or fake sugar at all! It is horrible LOL. It clashes with the pills I am taking

Have you tested?


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## lxb

Didn't test today. Will do that tomorrow. :)

Ahhh... Do what my sister does. Hahaha... She would drink a glass full of water, then when she feels she is about there... And let the last gulp be a mouth full of soda. :haha: she said that method has let her satisfied her craving for soda! :haha:


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## Pino6161

LOL so use my imagination LOL. I like it LOL!!

I give you credit for being able to hold off! I am a POAS addict. When will I learn to not pee on my money LOL!! Your chart looks great!! FX!! :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Kind of not looking forward to May 30 (not the anni part, the POAS part). I POAS this morning and it was negative - obvi at 8DPO right? I lost all self control and just had to!


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## SashimiMimi

Sleepy May 30 is so close. I'm really nervous this cycle, I feel like so much is riding on this.

Sorry I was so quiet over the weekend. We were busy planning and finalizing activities for our trip! I can't believe we are already going next week! We are spending 4 days on the West Coast visiting OH's family and then will venture on to Hawaii!!

In other news, I feel like a mega J-E-R-K! On Friday, my mood finally normalized and I decided that I would go to that dinner. We went on Saturday and it was fine. I made assumptions and over reacted and I couldnt have been more wrong. Our friends were so supportive and seeing the new baby didn't upset me at all. I even received a lovely follow up note from our friends rooting for us. I have been so emotional this TWW the smallest things have sent me spiraling into bouts of tears, I just don't know what's wrong with me!!! I've concluded that on average, I see 7-10 pregnant women on average per day. It's unreasonable! How can their be this many pregnant women roaming the streets??!!! I think this is the main thing that gets under my skin right now.

Lauren's Mexican hot dog sounds amazing. I need one of those right now!!!

This also reminded me of another story, well that and the farting OH's. I LOLed big time at Lxb and the spraying of the perfume!! For a while, I would noticed that OH's side of the bed started to smell really strange a few days after I washed the sheets. It almost smelled like nachos so I asked if he was eating Doritos or something in bed. He swore he wasn't and week after week this mysterious nacho smell would be on his half of the sheets only. It was rather gross! 

I was convinced that whatever it was he was sweating out something he ate during the day. We did process or elimination and finally, when he stopped going to a take out place called Thai Island the sheets stopped smelling like nachos! Once in a blue moon, it will come back and I'll say did you eat Thai Isand today and OH is like how did you know!!! 

Well I'm contemplating doing a POAS tomorrow. For the last few days I have been feeling really optimistic -- the sorest boobs I have ever felt in my life, stuffy nose for most of the week, sensitive to smell... But now as POAS day approaches, I just have that sinking feeling. I don't want to read too much into my symptoms because who knows what all those drugs and a 4 egg ovulation does to someone. But then I think if it doesn't work now, how will it ever!?! Our friends did tell us about their neighbors who had two failed IVFs and then suddenly conceived two kids naturally. So I guess there is hope if right now is not my time. It's so hard to picture those two lines showing up. I think that's why I avoid HPT. I have a glimmer of hope right now and I really don't want that dang stick to take it away!

Pino how is your knee????


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## Pino6161

Sash--- My OH's sheets get that when he eats Niko's LOL. We avoid it LOL. My knee is much better, just trying to take it easy. I know you want to hold off testing, but didn't doc. say that it could give you a false positive? I don't want to sound down in the dumps, as I feel this really is your month, I just don't want you to get a false positive, and it be 100x worse than a negative. I didn't mean to ruin your thought, I just wanted you to know that I truely care, and I don't want to see you hurt. :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Ahh Sashimi, I feel the same way. That glimmer of hope and then I get so scared to test. I knew today was too early to test, so I was prepared for a BFN. But as we get closer, I feel like I'll be devastated if it's not +. So glad your dinner with your friends went well and that they were so supportive. What a welcome surprise! Sometimes we totally psych ourselves out and it ends up being nothing! I do that ALL the time especially with TTC. Your symptoms sound promising friend - I'm going to get my hopes up for you!


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks Pino and Sleepy!!! I think the trigger shot is out of my system after 11 days and tomorrow will be 13. I may hold off till Wednesday which is the actual day of the blood test!!


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## Pino6161

Just making sure hun! :hugs: FX for you. Your symptoms sound great!


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## SashimiMimi

Sorry if this is TMI, but I was really constipated yesterday. It rarely happens to me, but it's the worst! I know it can be a PG symptom but I wanted to scream come on body!! Don't mess with me unless you mean business!! Yeah I think I will wait until Wednesday to POAS, if it shows up BFN there is no sense sulking about it for two days. I'll hold on to my glimmer for another day!


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## SleepyOwl

Ugh I hear you girl!! I hope that constipation is the best thing that ever happened to you aka you get your BFP.


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## lauren26

I have been totally constipated too. Lol. It's terrible! I've been eating tons of fiber and it's not helping at all. I am not seeing mine as a of symptom as te progesterone is really affecting me. Sashimi, your symptoms really do sound good! I say test :) 

My TWW update is that I have felt pretty stressed and anxious the past couple of days but mostly I'm still raging hard! Lol. My birthday is really soon (ad Sashimis!) and it's my Saturn return year. Feels like I'm getting my butt handed to me by the universe--in good ways and bad! Anyway, I'm so so sure it's not month. But I'll still POAS! Lol. The progesterone is also bloating me and giving me the most giant bbs. Not super sore but itchy! Should make a day of travel tomorrow delightful! Lol. I feel like it might be more than one person's besides me, though, on this thread! Fx for that :) Anyway, progesterone ramble aside, I am excited for my trip. I'm always a little overwhelmed the day before traveling, so it's anxious excitement.

Sleepy - I think the reason I POAS so much is to water down the BFN blow--not sure if it helps or hurts!

Pino - I'm so glad your knee is feeling better and way to go on the diet!! Does your OH get flustered during the TWW? When do you test?


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## Pino6161

Lauren-- are you sure it's the progestrone (sp) that's giving you all those symptoms? OH doesn't really stress as much as get annoyed with my obsessing LOL. I probably won't test until around the 4th. My cycles can be a bit irregular. I might not test at all this cycle though, just cause I really don't feel like this is my month/


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## Pino6161

:holly::holly::holly::holly::haha: I totally found this smiley and I LOVE it LOL!!!:haha:


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> preg-- That'sa good idea, just not dieting on the 7th day. The only thing I see with that is my OH took the day "off" yesterday from the diet, and he splurges ALOT LOL. He needs to learn control! Aand the will be my toys LOL my OH was looking at my monitor,and he said "do I get one of these?" LOL he had no idea what it was!! When I told him, he got a funny look LOL!!
> 
> Sleepy-- Ihave been craving a mudslide like crazy. The best drink ever! Chocalate AND alcohol LOL.

Yea. Well. I started out splurging big time, but it got less and less in time. Especially if I was 100% strict on the other 6 days. It will get there pretty soon on its own :)
Lol on OH´s being kinda out there sometimes :)



lxb said:


> Lauren - mmmmm.. That hotdog sounds gooooooood!! I fell like a hotdog now...
> 
> Sleepy - mango margarita sounds yummy!!
> 
> Pino - soda!! Make sure it is caffeine free too. I usually drink sprite or root beer whenever I have craving! Hehe... Ah.. So good.
> 
> I feel so fruity yesterday! We went to the peach farm... Ate tonsss of peach... Then later went to jamba juice for some fruity smoothie! Then a friend and I made some strawberry crepe cake in the evening. Mmmmm....
> 
> How is everyone? May 30th is coming up!! :happydance:
> 
> How r u feeling preg_pilot? Still stretching? Hehe...

You feel like a hotdog? Hmm... how does that feel like? ;)

Yep, still stretching big time. Had trouble sleeping last "night" as the pressure was immense :haha:



SashimiMimi said:


> Well I'm contemplating doing a POAS tomorrow. For the last few days I have been feeling really optimistic -- the sorest boobs I have ever felt in my life, stuffy nose for most of the week, sensitive to smell... But now as POAS day approaches, I just have that sinking feeling. I don't want to read too much into my symptoms because who knows what all those drugs and a 4 egg ovulation does to someone. But then I think if it doesn't work now, how will it ever!?! Our friends did tell us about their neighbors who had two failed IVFs and then suddenly conceived two kids naturally. So I guess there is hope if right now is not my time. It's so hard to picture those two lines showing up. I think that's why I avoid HPT. I have a glimmer of hope right now and I really don't want that dang stick to take it away!
> 
> Pino how is your knee????

Fingers crossed for you :dust:


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## SashimiMimi

Caved. BFN on the HPT. Expect tomorrows bloodwork to indicate the same. Just told OH and he seemed pretty deflated. I also looked up what happens during the lap surgery and it seems creepy. I just don't get it. How did it not work? There were 4 eggs!!!! I'm completely crushed.


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## lauren26

It may just be a little too early, Sashimi! I hope that's all it is. :hugs: I'm not giving up on you yet for this cycle! 

I did one too and BFN. Since I'm on the progesterone and will stay on to delay AF I will just keep testing.


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi and Lauren - It's definitely still early!! Some people don't get their BFP's til 15/16 DPO. Are you both still testing tomorrow? I'm thinking I won't because it will just ruin my anniversary if it's a BFN. Are either of you having any symptoms?


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## lauren26

Sleepy - I will test every day until I'm off the progesterone since we'll be in NOLA and I want to know as soon as possible if I am pg, though I really think I'm not. I am having some symptoms which have faded a bit today, but I think that they are from the progesterone! I feel you on not wanting to test on an important day! Happy Anniversary!!

I am about to leave for the airport, ladies! I will try to get on and update and read about you all :) Our hotel in New Orleans has a business center so I can pop in. I don't know about our hotels in AL. I know it's dorky but I won't be able to stay away from BnB while I'm on vacation!! LOL. Even dorkier: I am sad to leave my cats!! I totally miss them when we travel. They sleep with me and cuddle all night. GL to everyone!


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## lxb

preg_pilot said:


> lxb said:
> 
> 
> lauren - mmmmm.. That hotdog sounds gooooooood!! I fell like a hotdog now...
> 
> you feel like a hotdog? Hmm... How does that feel like? ;)
> 
> yep, still stretching big time. Had trouble sleeping last "night" as the pressure was immense :haha:Click to expand...

:haha: Hmmm.. good question. I guess... stuffed/long/hot? :haha: 




sleepyowl said:


> sashimi and lauren - it's definitely still early!! Some people don't get their bfp's til 15/16 dpo. Are you both still testing tomorrow? I'm thinking i won't because it will just ruin my anniversary if it's a bfn. Are either of you having any symptoms?

Agree~ It's still early! I'm crossing Everything for you three! Happy Anniversary Sleepy! I hope you will have a nice belated-anniversary present waiting for you~ :hugs:


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## treasured

Hello girls!! Lol that Im on holiday abd still managing to get on here! made friends with the bar man who gave us free WiFi woohoo! Our holiday is amazing we've been jeep safari and sunning. Our selves to the max hehe. Dont have time toread all the posts bur will get up to date when Im home! Anyway, I wanted to post and say that I am 4 days late with no sign of af! I've done tw tests but the first one was probs to early! I've had cramps and sore boobs every v day since thurs :s, I Im currntly 14 days past3 o and usually.odnt go past 10! What do you think? I'm never usually this late but why bfn? Love to you all!! Xx


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## lauren26

Whoa!! This thread is blowing up with BFPs!!! Treasured, sounds very promising!!


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## countrygirl86

Well ladies, I'm pregnant :) 

And it doesn't sound like I'm the only one...


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## SleepyOwl

Treasured - Sounds like a good sign!! Glad you are enjoying your holiday - hope you have some great news to share when you return!!!

Country - Ohhhhh yeah!! I want to be just like you aka pregnant!!


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## treasured

Omg country yay!!! Well just an hour after posting that I am noticing some pink cm so Im getting doubtful and confused! Won't let it ruin my holiday but raging! X


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## preg_pilot

SleepyOwl said:


> Sashimi and Lauren - It's definitely still early!! Some people don't get their BFP's til 15/16 DPO. Are you both still testing tomorrow? I'm thinking I won't because it will just ruin my anniversary if it's a BFN. Are either of you having any symptoms?

or at 25DPO... ;)



treasured said:


> Hello girls!! Lol that Im on holiday abd still managing to get on here! made friends with the bar man who gave us free WiFi woohoo! Our holiday is amazing we've been jeep safari and sunning. Our selves to the max hehe. Dont have time toread all the posts bur will get up to date when Im home! Anyway, I wanted to post and say that I am 4 days late with no sign of af! I've done tw tests but the first one was probs to early! I've had cramps and sore boobs every v day since thurs :s, I Im currntly 14 days past3 o and usually.odnt go past 10! What do you think? I'm never usually this late but why bfn? Love to you all!! Xx

Ooh, fingers crossed for ya :) :dust:



countrygirl86 said:


> Well ladies, I'm pregnant :)
> 
> And it doesn't sound like I'm the only one...

Congrats!!! H&H 9 months :dance:


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## haribo813

Country that's brilliant! I am so pleased for you girl, woop woop! How are you feeling? Does that mean you will have a Valentine's baby?!

I am still holding out A LOT of hope for Sashimi, Sleepy, Lauren, lxb, Pino and Treasured! Some great symptoms-fx! Come on girls! And promise that someone will keep me company on here if you all get those BFPs?!

Happy anniversary Sleepy and happy hols to Sashimi, Lauren and Treasured!
I am also off on hols on Thursday 31st, returning on Mon 11 June-will try and log on when I can though for updates!

I went for blood tests today-they're meant to be on CD3 but they kind of ended up being on CD 4 and a half to 5 as couldn't go yesterday cos of work-hope that doesn't affect things...am going back in on CD19 for 2nd round-luckily it works round my holiday!

TMI alert but my AF has been really weird this cycle-really dark, almost black and a bit clotty. Sorry, not very pleasant but aside from being old blood, what does this mean? Starting 3rd and probably final cycle of acupuncture as it's kind of pricey so if anyone has some BFP tips and tricks for me-please send them my way!

Love to you all xxxxx


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## lxb

countrygirl86 said:


> Well ladies, I'm pregnant :)
> 
> And it doesn't sound like I'm the only one...

:happydance: I'm here with you girl~ Got a faint bfp this morning at 16DPO. I still have to get confirmation with dr :dance: Online EDD is February 03, 2013! (Feb 5th is DH & I's wedding anniversary!)



treasured said:


> Omg country yay!!! Well just an hour after posting that I am noticing some pink cm so Im getting doubtful and confused! Won't let it ruin my holiday but raging! X

I hope it's preggo symptoms. I'm still FXing for you~



haribo813 said:


> I am still holding out A LOT of hope for Sashimi, Sleepy, Lauren, lxb, Pino and Treasured! Some great symptoms-fx! Come on girls! And promise that someone will keep me company on here if you all get those BFPs?!

I'm FXing for everyone here too! And yes, I'll be here for you~ :hugs:


----------



## SleepyOwl

Lxb - So happy for you :happydance: What a great anniversary present right?!!

Haribo - Are these routine blood tests just to make sure everything is alright in the TTC process? I tried googling what a dark AF means, but I didn't really find anything noteworthy. Seems like it happens from time to time and that it's fairly common. And don't worry - whenever I get my BFP, I'm never leaving this thread!! 

I am loving all the BFPs on this thread. Slowly but surely, we're all getting there!! Praying the rest of us don't have to wait too much longer [-o&lt;


----------



## SashimiMimi

Congrats Country and Lxb. Really inspiring and encouraging news. I'm not feeling overly optimistic for myself, but seeing BFPs for long-time TTCers is a reminder that it CAN and will happen!!!


----------



## lxb

Yep. And we are at page 100!!! Additional reason to celebrate with additional BFPs!!

:dance:

I'm still FXing for you ladies!


----------



## lauren26

lxb how did you tell OH??? Dying to know!


----------



## SleepyOwl

Yes, I want to know to - tell us!!! What was his reaction?


----------



## countrygirl86

Thanks everyone! You are all so great :hugs:

haribo - I'm feeling great, thanks! Afraid that may change soon but still comprehending the BFP lol My estimated due date is February 4 but because of my crazy long cycle my doctor said January 14. I go for my dating scan in 2 weeks so I'll have a better idea then. I've had those periods where it's really dark and clotty, it's gross and uncomfortable but as far as I know it's fairly common once in a while. Hope you have a lovely holiday!

lxb - no way, DH and I's wedding anniversary is February 5th too!!! What year did you get married? What was your wedding like? How DID you tell DH?

Sleepy - it's looking good for you this cycle too...

Sashimi - looking forward to hearing the results of the blood test today!


----------



## Pino6161

Hey everyone. So again congrats to Country, and lxb!! HH 9 months

SashimiMimi-- I hope your Dr appt goes smoothly, and with good results. 

It is the 30th, if I'm not mistaken, who else was suposed to test today??

Well I woke up and my knee is bothering me a bit, I think I just overdid things yesterday.


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## SashimiMimi

BFFN for me. It's been confirmed. I'm currently locked in a bathroom at work absolutely bawling my eyes out. I don't know how I'll go back to my desk without it being obvious that something is wrong. OH doesn't want to TTC for a few months, so this may be the end of the road for a little while. Last night when he suggested the idea of not TTC for a while I was against it, but now I think it's for the best. I don't have anything left in me to deal with the heartbreak month after month.


----------



## Pino6161

Sash--- Your post made me cry, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry. We are all here for you. :hugs:

Can you just say your sick? Go home, and let yourself grieve?


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi, I am so sorry :( Maybe taking a break wouldn't be such a bad idea since TTC is so difficult, plus add to that all the appointments you have, it is just so emotionally draining. Pino had a good idea - maybe say you're feeling the weather and see if you can sneak out? Work is definitely no place to be right now. I hope you feel better soon - take your time. We're here for you if you need you!

Pino - I was supposed to test today but I'm not going to. I have had cramps all day which is usual for a few days before I start AF. I am of course hoping for the best, but I'll just wait and see. 

My MIL called this morning to wish me and OH a happy anniversary. She ended the phone call saying that all of my husband's friends have children and that by our 4th anniversary that "without fail" she needs to have a grand baby in her arms. I replied with, "Ummm, we'll work on that." And then she said, "NO, YOU HAVE TO DO IT!". Literally, she shouted at me. I wanted to curse her out right there. Like I have ANY control over this situation. Like I don't want a baby in my arms right now. Please. So frustrating. I was thankful in that moment that I didn't test because if it was a BFN and I had that conversation with her, I probably would have cried my eyes out before lunch with OH.


----------



## countrygirl86

Sashimi, I am so sorry for your BFFN. You are a role model to me! You've had so much strength and perseverance through all of this. If it's time for you to take a break from it, that's what you have to do. Your amazing trip is coming up and you and DH can relax and enjoy each other's company. I know everyone on this thread was super rooting for you but it just wasn't meant to be this round. I agree with Pino and Sleepy, you should get out of work for the day. I can't imagine what you are going through right now but you aren't alone, we are your buddies....

:hugs:


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## Pino6161

Sleepy-- I understand completely about your MIL. My parents don't push it cause they want me to havea career first. I have brought it up to my mom casually a while back. My husband's family is a diff. story. I hear the same thing at least 2x a month, they don't take a hit. We always say "not right now" just to get them off our backs for a while. Doesn't work though. It might be the best thing just to tell her to back off. I had to w/ my in-laws cause it doesn't stop. I hopw AF doesn't show! :hugs:


----------



## lxb

Oh dear sashimi... *hugss* Please just say you're not feeling well and need go home. We are all here for you. And I agree with others. ttc and all those appointments are emotionally draining. You have such strong mind and I hope you will feel better soon.

The trip is definitely a big plus. Take the time off your everyday, your work, and simply enjoy each other and the environment


----------



## SashimiMimi

Thanks for all your wonderful support everyone. This is really turning into a hell of a day... After a 25-minute cry in the bathroom, I composed myself enough to return to my desk. At that point my mom called. I had OH call her knowing I wouldn't be able to handle hearing her voice... Well she called me crying and then I completely lost it and had to run outside and duck into an alley. We had a long conversation with lots of tears and when I turned around a co-worker was behind me having a smoke. It's someone I really like and she was genuinely concerned, so I told her about why I was so upset. There was really no hiding it. She was sympathetic and I actually felt better talking to someone. 

Well, later on OH called and I told him I was caught crying in the alley and had to tell. He got very upset with me (the last thing I needed) and said I shouldn't trust anyone, "The cat was out of the bag", "The jig is up," etc., etc. He was really upset with me for revealing what I was going through, certain that this co-worker would gossip and I put myself at risk of losing my new job. I do not believe that first of all this particular co-worker would tell, I don't work in a gossipy place and I'm not doing anything wrong. It is my right as a human being to start a family. I said to OH it is not like I'm secretly interviewing for another job and crying because I didn't get it. The only thing I have ever wanted to be in life is a mom and right now I'm not sure if or when that is going to happen. Do you guys think I made a mistake telling my co-worker? On one hand, this was my safe place where no one knew what I was going through in my personal life. Now that's not the case. I ended up telling another girl I've become close with when we went for coffee. She told me her parents tried for 7 years with her, how her step-grandmother would constantly harass her mother about having a baby and it has strained their relationship to this day.

So that brings to what Sleepy said, what a thing for your MIL to say on your anniversary. Ouch! Would you ever consider telling her you have been trying and that you are doing everything you can? It's none of her business, but maybe if OH had a heart-to-heart she would understand? 

It's 5:30 here and I'm actually here at work. Pretty much everyone saw me flee my desk in tears and for the rest of my team, they basically tip toed around me for the rest of the day. Because I'm going away next week for 17 days, I have too many deadlines to meet before I go away. Just focusing on my work actually helped distract me and I think I am going to hit the gym for either a Hot Yoga or Spin class in a few minutes. 

Thanks for your support everyone. I don't know what I would do without this board!


----------



## Pino6161

Sash-- I don't think you did a bad thing by telling your co-worker, and if you are worried, I am sure you can ask her not to tell anyone because you don't want to hear "you got your BFPyet?" I am sure she would understand and keep your secret. I don't understand why you could get fired, I mean it's not illegal to want a child, I wonder if he was more upset by the fact you caught caught taking an unauthorized break? Even then, they can't say everyone has personal issues.


----------



## SashimiMimi

He was just upset that I told about TTC. He feels that since I just started this job, it would be detrimental for my employer found out that I took this position on actively TTC. We talked about it again just now and couldn't come to an agreement on the topic. I know for a fact that no one here is a gossip, so I'm not worried at all about it getting around. I don't think anyone will ask me about it and if they do, I'll say I'm on a break from trying which is about to be true... I just can't figure out what's wrong with me. $1000 injections, 4 follicles, record-breaking sperm count, acupuncture and a BFFN.


----------



## Lika

SashimiMimi said:


> He was just upset that I told about TTC. He feels that since I just started this job, it would be detrimental for my employer found out that I took this position on actively TTC. We talked about it again just now and couldn't come to an agreement on the topic. I know for a fact that no one here is a gossip, so I'm not worried at all about it getting around. I don't think anyone will ask me about it and if they do, I'll say I'm on a break from trying which is about to be true... I just can't figure out what's wrong with me. $1000 injections, 4 follicles, record-breaking sperm count, acupuncture and a BFFN.


Awww hun :hugs: to you!!! I will say a prayer for you to get you :bfp: soon! I know how heartbreaking :bfn: are :sad2: I've had 3 MC since I was 18, no live births :cry:
I got my hubby back from deployment beginning of April and we have been TCC since. Last month my cycle was regular, AF showed when it should. But this month the :witch: has not shown her ugly face, I'm late by a week, but dozens of tests later I still get :bfn: I'm heartbroken :cry: I wanna be a mommy so bad!!!
So here's a little bit of :dust: for us all, and may we all get our :bfp: soon!
TCC buddies for sure ;)


----------



## Pino6161

I know sweetie. Just let him have time to cool down. I think you are both very emotional right now, and snapping over the little things rather than what's on your mind as bad as this sounds. After me and OH's dr appt and got cleared w/ everything and that month getting our bffn we had a similar fight, just to find out we were both secretly blaming each other, and who's fault was it. We ended up talking about 2 weeks later about it after things had cooled down, but it didn't change the mind frame to this day every bfn I blame myself for not being able to give my OH the bfp he deserves.

Maybe a break is what you need, even if it is not long term, and just while you are on vacation. That way you guys can rekindle your feelings for each other, and release the pain and the blame of this month.

I hope things get better. I know this won't help much, but I keep thinking about what your mom said a couple weeks ago about your vacation. maybe you just need to take your mind off of things and relax. Lots of love, and lots of :hugs:


----------



## Lika

Ditto what she said hun. Stress is not good for any of you. If you need to vent we are here.

** Praying for you hun. Your :bfp: will come!!! Lots of good vibes your way :)!!!


----------



## Pino6161

Lika--- Have you went for a blood test? I know quite a few people that it doesn't show until way later.


----------



## Lika

Pino6161 said:


> Lika--- Have you went for a blood test? I know quite a few people that it doesn't show until way later.

I was thinking about going for one... Should I wait a little longer? My last period started April 24th :/ I'm so confused!


----------



## lxb

dear sashimi.... I wish we could all be there in person with you. For you to vent and talk (face to face) and to give you real hugs. I certainly don't think you've made a mistake by telling your coworker. Plus, it's nice to have the extra support. Your OH is probably only worry about your well being and the affect it could be on your job and what you have to face on day-to-day basis (might bring additional stress to you).

Having deadlines and keeping yourself busy is a great distraction. After that, you & your OH will be off to a place where you can focus on just the two of you and nobody else. I rooting for mama sashimi's feeling to be right on and you will be bringing back a nice little souvenir from Kauai. I failed to bring a little souvenir back when I went to Kauai... now you have to do it for the team!! :dance: :dance:


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## Pino6161

Lika said:


> Pino6161 said:
> 
> 
> Lika--- Have you went for a blood test? I know quite a few people that it doesn't show until way later.
> 
> I was thinking about going for one... Should I wait a little longer? My last period started April 24th :/ I'm so confused!Click to expand...

How long do your periods usually last? I mean mine range up to 33 days. When do you think you o'd?

Going would def. relieve your mind as it will be a for sure way of knowing


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## lauren26

Sashimi - :hugs: I already wrote you an email so will make it brief, but I'm sorry and I hope that OH gave you lots of love and support when he got home!! Fx that we can get our BFPs soon and together!! 

lxb and country - how are you ladies feeling?? Still totally floating on the BFP goodness? :):):) lxb when is ur first doctors appointment?

Afm, having a great time so far in Nola. Got my bloodwork results and they are good...my new doc did my progesterone on the correct day as apparently it was normal, so I am not sure what my spotting is about. My doc will do more bloodwork to find out why my LP is short and why i spot and of course why I'm not pg yet.

Pino - how's the knee and diet??

Treasured - any news?

Reading ad writing on my phone but will be thinking of u all on my trip. Prob reading more than writing but based on this post who knows lol,


----------



## lauren26

Also did test today and BFN. Will continue progesterone tomorrow and the next day in hopes AF will e delayed and I can do my ultrasound.


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - Glad you are having fun in New Orleans!! The food there is soooo tasty :) Also happy to hear the bloodwork was normal - I'm sure that's a relief, but with that said, hopefully the doc will be able to get the spotting under control and have you on your way to the promised land aka BFP! 

Sashimi - I definitely don't think you made a mistake by telling your coworker. You seem like you know your workplace and this coworker well enough that I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Besides, you needed to share with someone in that moment and hopefully OH understands that now. I hope things were better when you got home!!


----------



## SleepyOwl

I still haven't tested and definitely won't tomorrow since I'm at my parents and have no HPT's. I've had cramps on and off all day and feel like AF is going to start any minute. Before I get AF my lady parts feel very warm and wet (I hope that's not totally weird), but that's how I've felt today. I'm only 10DPO and don't usually start spotting til 11 or 12DPO so we'll see. Still trying to say hopeful, but I felt REALLY dejected today. My mom had surgery this morning, so OH and I decided to come and stay with my family just to help out where we could. I had a baby shower invitation here for this girl who JUST got married and literally got pregnant her first month trying. She is due in July. I'm not going for sure unless I get a BFP before the RSVP date which means I need to get a BFP in the next week. I don't think I can go and not be bitter or cry afterwards. Besides that and my whacko MIL, today was pretty good :)


----------



## SashimiMimi

Lika, Lauren, Pino, Lxb, thank you so much for your kind words. Well this evening wasn't much better, OH had a terrible day at work and was visibly distraught when I got home. I think a stressful day where everything goes wrong, and all his clients were yelling at him, combined with the BFFN was too much to handle. He was literally having a meltdown, so I was actually trying to console him. I mostly cried and told him how sorry I was, I know the bfn is out of my control but it is causing me immense guilt. OH would be the best dad in the world and it breaks my heart not to be able to give that to him. 

I was so distraught I couldn't eat dinner. And I don't know if I will be able to sleep much tonight, I can't even remember a time in my life where I felt completely destroyed like this. Sorry to be a downer, I didn't expect myself to take it so hard this time around. OH did end up coming around and perked up a bit. I feel bad he had such a terrible day and has to deal with this as well. 

I managed to do a spin class tonight and I felt pushing myself really hard helped let out some of the frustration. I just feel totally deflated and am in one of those moods where I just don't want to get out of bed an face another day.


----------



## SashimiMimi

SleepyOwl said:


> I still haven't tested and definitely won't tomorrow since I'm at my parents and have no HPT's. I've had cramps on and off all day and feel like AF is going to start any minute. Before I get AF my lady parts feel very warm and wet (I hope that's not totally weird), but that's how I've felt today. I'm only 10DPO and don't usually start spotting til 11 or 12DPO so we'll see. Still trying to say hopeful, but I felt REALLY dejected today. My mom had surgery this morning, so OH and I decided to come and stay with my family just to help out where we could. I had a baby shower invitation here for this girl who JUST got married and literally got pregnant her first month trying. She is due in July. I'm not going for sure unless I get a BFP before the RSVP date which means I need to get a BFP in the next week. I don't think I can go and not be bitter or cry afterwards. Besides that and my whacko MIL, today was pretty good :)

Another simultaneous post! I just PMed you back! Sounds like you're having a tough day as well. Hang in there, we'll both get through this. You aren't out until AF comes!

I had a lot of brown spotting this evening so I think AF might be arriving and it's only day 24 of my cycle. I actually yelled "You're kidding me!!!!" really loud when I was on the toilet! TMI but it was dark and sticky and when I had a closer look I yelled What the HELL is this!?!?!? I've resorted to yelling at myself while on the toilet. If that doesn't scream take a TTC break , I don't know what does!!!:growlmad:


----------



## SleepyOwl

I hear you on the guilt - I know my OH would be an excellent father and I just feel so bad I'm not pregnant yet. The fact that there's nothing I can do to change that makes it even more difficult to handle. Glad you were able to somewhat get on the same page with OH - it's hard being sad and upset, but it's a little easier when you two have each other. And be a downer for as long as you want - that's what this thread is here for!!


----------



## lauren26

Sashimi! I wish I could give you a giant hug IRL. It sucks that you and OH both had a terrible day. Be super gentle with yourself. So glad that you guys have that amazing vacation coming up


----------



## Lika

Pino6161 said:


> Lika said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pino6161 said:
> 
> 
> Lika--- Have you went for a blood test? I know quite a few people that it doesn't show until way later.
> 
> I was thinking about going for one... Should I wait a little longer? My last period started April 24th :/ I'm so confused!Click to expand...
> 
> How long do your periods usually last? I mean mine range up to 33 days. When do you think you o'd?
> 
> Going would def. relieve your mind as it will be a for sure way of knowingClick to expand...

My cycle usually range from 28-30 days and VERY rarely goes up to 33rd. If my charting is right I o'd the 8th but I could be wrong. I'm just very new to the whole temp charting. I did call my doc this morning and he said that if my AF doesn't start in another week and I still get :bfn: I should go in.
Honestly, I just want to get my AF and get on with my life :/
:dust: to us all!


----------



## haribo813

Sashimi I'm so sorry, I know how crushing the disappointment is normally and can't imagine how that's compounded by all your injections and Dr visits. But I take my hat off to you for throwing yourself into work and exercise, that's a good way to distract yourself. I really don't think that telling one co-worker was a bad thing and think that OH is probably just very sensitive at the moment too so a break together will be brilliant. 

On the mornings when I don't want to get out of bed, I just tell myself I won't always feel this bad, things will seem that little bit better bit by bit so take it easy and do what you want to do for a few days.

Sleepy-wow your MIL really is something! Couldn't believe that. Still keeping my fingers crossed for you. Thanks for info on AF too, am hoping it is a one off-it was almost like tar!!

Lauren-good news about your hormones, hope you're having a lovely holiday.

Lxb-congratulations!! That is wonderful news. That little bean will have a very funny mummy too. Very pleased for you.

I also have so much to get through at work Sashimi but holidays are coming, and not a moment too soon. Lots of love to everyone xx


----------



## Lika

SashimiMimi said:


> Lika, Lauren, Pino, Lxb, thank you so much for your kind words. Well this evening wasn't much better, OH had a terrible day at work and was visibly distraught when I got home. I think a stressful day where everything goes wrong, and all his clients were yelling at him, combined with the BFFN was too much to handle. He was literally having a meltdown, so I was actually trying to console him. I mostly cried and told him how sorry I was, I know the bfn is out of my control but it is causing me immense guilt. OH would be the best dad in the world and it breaks my heart not to be able to give that to him.
> 
> I was so distraught I couldn't eat dinner. And I don't know if I will be able to sleep much tonight, I can't even remember a time in my life where I felt completely destroyed like this. Sorry to be a downer, I didn't expect myself to take it so hard this time around. OH did end up coming around and perked up a bit. I feel bad he had such a terrible day and has to deal with this as well.
> 
> I managed to do a spin class tonight and I felt pushing myself really hard helped let out some of the frustration. I just feel totally deflated and am in one of those moods where I just don't want to get out of bed an face another day.


Aww hun I wish I could give you a huge :hugs: I know how heartbreaking :bfn: are specially when you want a lil one so bad :cry: keep you chin up sweetie, your time will come and when you see that :bfp: everyone will rejoice with you! This road we embarked on is sometimes so lonely and few understand the frustration and heartbreak we have to endure every time we get that :bfn: but we are here for you :) we are all in the same journey and we will prevail!
I will keep you in my prayers, and soon you will get your :bfp:!!!
** :dust: to us all **

Ps- I'm feeling like crap today :/ sick to my stomach. But I think my mind is playing tricks on me :cry: I've heard of women wanting a baby so bad they "trick" their bodies into bunking they are pregnant Nd they get all the symptoms just to find out later there was never a baby :sad2: 
I seriously just want my period! Getting :bfn: with preg symptoms is driving me bonkers. And my doctor said that I should wait another week or 2 before coming in for a blood test :cry: . I feel is frustrated and sad all at the same time! TCC is mentally draining sometimes :cry:


----------



## lauren26

BFN and temp dropped despite still being on progesterone. I'll use it tonight and then stop. Expecting AF shortly after!


----------



## Pino6161

lauren26 said:


> BFN and temp dropped despite still being on progesterone. I'll use it tonight and then stop. Expecting AF shortly after!

I was just looking at your chart. I am sorry it dropped :hugs:. I did notice that last month it did not drop until the second day of your actual period. I only bring this up because this month compared to the last couple of months, and I think that means your preogesterone helped, and it is already bringing a change to your cycle. Your chart looks comparable to a "regular" temap chart. Does that make sense? I mean even if this month isn't yours, you are one step closer. :hugs:


----------



## lxb

countrygirl86 said:


> lxb - no way, DH and I's wedding anniversary is February 5th too!!! What year did you get married? What was your wedding like?

whoaaa~~~ that's awesome!! we shall have our best anniversary present yet! :) DH & I have been together since 2003 (Feb 7th) and we got married on 2011. We wanted it to be close to our anniversary and the 5th was a Saturday~ So I guess that's our new anniversary now! It was a small wedding, outdoor at a Japanese-style friendship garden~ The weather was perfect! Our guests only needed a light jacket.


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## SleepyOwl

Sorry about the temp drop Lauren but Pino does have a good point. Your chart looks very normal and hopefully the progesterone is doing its job!


----------



## lxb

lauren - hopefully progesterone is doing its job and that BFP is just around the corner waiting for you :)

sleepy - how r u feeling?


----------



## SleepyOwl

I'm feeling fine. AF cramps on and off and have terrible gas which is normal for me a few days before she shows. Scared everytime I use the bathroom that I will wipe and see blood. Prob won't test unless I am late by several days. I don't want to see a BFN so I'd rather see nothing at all!


----------



## SashimiMimi

One step ahead of you Lauren... AF just showed up. I just cant catch a break.

Still feeling heartbroken. Im in one of those slumps where I wonder how I will ever be happy again. The last two years were so tough with my MIL's cancer and death, we really thought this was going to be our year to start a family and get a fresh start. I guess it's just not meant to be.


----------



## countrygirl86

Sashimi - I hope you found the strength to get your day going today. I agree with the other ladies that you were right to tell that co-worker. I'm sure I would have done the same and especially with someone you like and feel you can trust. It must have been tough having to put on your strong face on for OH but it sounds like you had a good moment together. Those BFPs don't abide by any rules, for some they come easy, for some they take unreasonable amounts of work and for some they come when they're least expected. I'm hoping you will fall in the last category and will come back from Hawaii with amazing news. However if that doesn't happen, I know you will continue your quest and you WILL have a baby.

Lauren - glad you are having a great time in New Orleans! This doctor seems so helpful and it must be a relief you are getting answers. Your chart does look better and you are making progress! I'm doing well, still comprehending it all. DH and I are going camping just the two of us this weekend so we'll have a chance to let it sink in :) When are you back?

Sleepy - Your chart still looks good so you are still in the running for this month! Hope your mom is doing ok after her surgery :hugs: I don't blame you for not wanting to go to that shower, you do whatever you feel is best. 

Lika - hopefully one or the other comes for you soon! I had a 40 day cycle prior to this one and it felt like it dragged on forever and by the end I just wanted AF to come so I could move on. Fx the end of yours is a BFP though!

lxb - that's so nice! I'm guessing you live somewhere warm for it to be warm in February! We were married on a beach but it was cold and snow/ice covered, everyone was in their winter coats! We started dating June 2007 and got married in 2010. So excited to have a little bundle before our anniversaries!


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## countrygirl86

Didn't catch that post in time Sashimi. There's nothing that says you won't get your BFP this year, it just wasn't this past month. I have lots of faith yours is coming soon. I'm sorry you have to go through this much struggle but it will make the arrival of that BFP so much sweeter. I will have to drive up to see you and we can go for decaf coffee/tea! :hugs:


----------



## lauren26

Thanks guys! You're right--my chart is looking super normal now and that's good. I do wish I could lengthen the LP, but I guess I can't have it all right away! Pouring rain right now but we are still planning to go out soon.


----------



## Pino6161

lauren26 said:


> Thanks guys! You're right--my chart is looking super normal now and that's good. I do wish I could lengthen the LP, but I guess I can't have it all right away! Pouring rain right now but we are still planning to go out soon.

you tell that rain to come down to arizona, it's hot and dryand dirty and dusty LOL


----------



## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> Thanks guys! You're right--my chart is looking super normal now and that's good. I do wish I could lengthen the LP, but I guess I can't have it all right away! Pouring rain right now but we are still planning to go out soon.

One step at a time! You're definitely getting there and making progress. Are you having fun in NOLA? I hope you two are enjoying every minute!!

Sashimi - So sorry AF showed. Just adding insult to injury I suppose. You have had to deal with so much the past few years it seems - I hope you get some much needed rest, relaxation and peace of mind on vacation. You definitely deserve an amazing vacation with OH - when do you two head to Hawaii? 

I told OH I wasn't going to that shower and was planning on RSVP'ing no this weekend. Then has asked if I thought I was being just a bit selfish. All I said was no and he hasn't brought it up since. I think he gets the picture - I don't care if it's selfish or not. I don't want to be the party-pooper or ruin the shower for OH. I told him he was more than welcome to go without me.


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Guys! I can't thank you all enough for your kind words. I'm better today than yesterday... Or at least I was until I logged into Facebook only to see the announcement that this slimeball's stripper girlfriend is pregnant. The posted a + on a HPT. Even the stripper is pregnant... I actually think that was enough to make me deactivate Facebook. 

Anyway, I hit the gym again for a boot came class and it really helped. I see now why my SIL got so into marathon running during her 3 years of TTC. Every time I want to cry I push harder and it really helps. 

Still can't believe AF showed up early. This shifts my cycle up so I'm worried that my window will fall when we are in Vancouver and its tough to BD staying with FIL. 

I'm exhausted and my legs and arms are noodles. I'll write more tomorrow and respond to everyone's messages. 

Honestly couldnt have gone through the last few days without all of you


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## Pino6161

Sash-- I am glad you feel better. I know what you mean about FB though, if I didn't keep up with family on there, I wouldn't have it. I am glad you are finding an outlet for your stress though, cause you don't want it bubbling inside you. 

Does this mean you have decided to keep up with TTC/ or are you going to just take it easy?? Lot's of love, and lots of :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Sooo glad you're feeling better Sashimi!! Nothing like a good workout to get all that negative energy out.


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## SashimiMimi

Pino we will NTNP during the trip, but I think I need a couple months off from the fertility clinic. Its time consuming, is putting a major dent in my bank account and most of all, I don't know how to handle another bfn from there. I'm taking a cue from you on the exercise and diet, I need a time out to get my mental and physical health back in shape and if anything I need a break from fertility drugs. My AF is dark and lumpy, like paint that has gone bad. I've never had an AF like this.

Sleepy how are you feeling? 

Going to bed for real. More tomorrow!!


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## Pino6161

That's good, maybe a break is needed. We can be diet buddies LOL.

Do you think maybe the funny AF is a side effect of the fertility treatments?


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## lxb

Sashimi - Hm... funny AF sounds fishy..... Is it some leftover old blood? NTNP sounds good to me. Still should BD every other day though... :winkwink:


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## lauren26

Eeee I can feel AF coming, boo! Lol. Sashimi good thinking on focusing on health and NtNP. 

Sleepy, are you going to test or wait for AF to be late?

We are still having fun and will get our rental tomorrow and head to Alabama for the festival. We are driving up a scenic highway and I'm excited for OH to see more of the South that I love so much.

Jason Segel is in Nola--a few sightings so far. I am not a big celeb person but I have had the Am I A Man Or Am I A Muppet song in my head this whole trip so it's a funny coincidence.


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Gang! I think I'm finally feeling back to normal and I feel absolutely terrible for being such a sourpuss over the past couple days, especially when two amazing ladies (Lxb and Country) got their long-awaited BFPs. I haven't been supportive as I've been stuck in a "poor me" rut and I want you both to know how incredibly happy I am for you both!!! I told my mom both your stories and she said, see it's all about it being the right time. When the time is right, it will happen. So I'm feeling slightly more optimistic, but still feel I need a break from the fertility clinic for a while. Between starting my new job and getting caught up in a whirlwind of appointments, it's become too much and I think I need to take a step back and reassess.

Haribo: You are right, I have to remember that I won't always feel this low. Each day has gotten a bit better and I think I've finally accepted the BFFN for this round!!! I know everyone says think positive and I did, and I think that is what made it harder to accept. Such a catch 22.

Country: Yes, if you are EVER coming down this way we do have to meet for a decaf beverage! Or we could always plan to meet half way over the summer. I feel silly for saying this, but every time I think about the Kingston area, I think about that guy Ryan Malcolm who won the first Canadian Idol because he was from there. I wonder what ever happened to him!!! I'm annoyed that they are bringing American reality shows to Canada in the fall like The Bachelor Canada and Canadian Big Brother, didn't the learn from the massive failure that was Canadian Idol??

Lauren, sorry you feel AF coming. I love Jason Segal!!! That must have been an exciting celeb spotting. I'm not a big celeb person either, but I really like him in How I Met Your Mother. 

Lxb- AF is more normal today. I don't know what was going on, but I'm sure it had to do with the fertility drugs. I'm actually looking forward to not being on those dang drugs this month, because I can feel my body not seeming quite right. So besides the mental break, a physical break will be good as well. 

Pino- Diet buddies it is! I caved and had a bagel this morning, but it is cold and super rainy after several days of summery sunshiney weather. It was a bagel and hot tea kind of morning! 

So I'm still stressing and calculating BDing over the trip. I really wish AF hadn't shown up this early because it's throwing my whole schedule off. iPeriod is predicting my fertility window to be between June 10-15... I guess that's okay because we arrive in Hawaii the night of the 11th. But I wanted to O toward the end of my trip! I feel really uncomfortable BDing while staying with FIL. Oh well, if I O around June 14 let's say (CD 15) then so be it. OH and I will be BDing regardless, as we haven't had much of a BD life since starting fertility treatments. I'm always too scared to do anything during the TWW and then become very uncomfortable on the fertility drugs at the beginning of the cycle. So it will be good for us to reconnect on a non-TTC level. It would be great to come home with a BFP, because it has always been my dream to conceive on a romantic getaway, but I won't hold my breath. My acupuncturist says it is common for people to get a BFP after they have been on fertility drugs.


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## countrygirl86

lauren - glad you are making the best of your vacay! Are you feeling any less stressed? I felt a huge relief when DH and I went away in February. And I love the Muppets! That was such a good movie too! How cool to see him on your trip, it's one of those stories you can tell your kids (which will be soon).

Pino - it's raining here now so I'm sending it your way! 

lxb - poppy seed buddy!

Sleepy - you aren't being selfish, you are taking care of yourself! Men don't understand in the slightest what it's like, there isn't a male equivalent of a baby shower! I'm excited for you to test!

Sashimi - happy to hear you are feeling more yourself! I don't think your trip could have been planned at a better time. Other than the BDing at the right times but you may find ways around it anyway. Last summer we were spending the night at my dad's cottage and a huge storm came in so it was really windy/rainy/loud and DH was frisky so it all worked out lol! Oh that guy was awful wasn't he? And the show was terrible lol I think I only watched the last one because it was a guy from Kingston but he hasn't gone anywhere with his career as far as I know! You've said it before but what day do you leave for BC?


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## SashimiMimi

Country I leave Thursday of next week for BC! Then the 11th for Hawaii!! After the Canadian Idol stint, I remember that guy being in a children's musical pantomime in Toronto. After that, I can't say much happened... LOL I wonder what he would think if he knew people were discussing him on a fertility message board. Happy that anyone remembers him? Or sad that he went from the first Canadian Idol to fertility board chatter?


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## countrygirl86

lol I would think he would be happy he's getting any attention from women at all! Your trip has really snuck up, are you packed? We sure are going to miss you on here but you'll have to tell us all about it! 

Hope everyone has a great weekend and the weather is whatever you want it to be! Rain here but we need it for the flowers :flower:


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - I love Jason Segel! He's hilarious. Whenever I think of him I think of Forgetting Sarah Marshall when he's in sweatpants yelling, "You shall not pass!!" Might be my favorite scene of any movie, lol!! 

Sashimi - Sooo good to hear your spirits are back up!! Sometimes you just need a few days to process everything. It's totally normal to go through that "woe is me" stage. TTC takes so much out of us!! You are going to have soo much fun on your vacation. Maybe you will O a day or two late and you won't have to worry about BDing at FIL's place. Excited for your trip!! 

As for me, I started spotting pink CM when I wiped this morning, which ALWAYS happens two days before AF. Plus my boobs are not sore at all anymore and I'm not anywhere near as tired as I have been. I know AF hasn't shown and you're not out until she does, but I'm sure I'm out at this point. I feel REALLY low. Like having trouble holding back the tears today. I couldn't even tell OH I started spotting because I knew I would be a mess before heading out this morning. Probably tell him tonight so I can cry myself to sleep and hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. It really doesn't help that I got that stupid baby shower invite. Why does it happen so easy for some people and take so much time for others? I'm like super bitter today - just need to get it out of my system I suppose before I mentally move onto the next cycle.


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## SashimiMimi

Oh, Sleepy! That is the big question isn't it... why is it so easy for some and not for others. Why does it come to easily to the teenage girl who will terminate it and not the loving couple we desperately wants to start a family? I feel the same way about the Stripper BFP on FB as you do about the shower invite. And now it sounds like the whole shower situation is exactly how I felt about visiting our friends and the new baby. It really wasn't the new baby that made me feel apprehensive about going, it was the "any news?" or "why are you drinking water? wink wink" questions that I knew I wouldn't be able to handle. In the end, it was completely fine and I felt bad for having ever worried. But I say a shower situation is different, at a shower you are surrounded by friends and acquaintances who will probably ask when you and OH will have kids, you will be surrounded by ridiculous games that may or may not include melted chocolate bars on diapers, as well the watching of the opening of endless gifts... Maybe I'm just not a "showery" person myself even before TTC (I had a very non-traditional bridal shower), but you are not being rude or selfish at all. You guys showed me that in my own situation last weekend, so I hope you don't feel that way even if your OH is saying that. Funny how both mine and yours didn't get it. 

I don't think men can understand what it's like to deal with fertility each month. I'm actually having one hell of an AF and I'm going to assume that it's from the 4 egg O. I have cramps from hell, and all the other PMS symptoms intensified. It's a reminder of the BFFN, but like everything else it's going to pass. 

So do what's best for you and don't put yourself in a situation where you know you will feel vulnerable. I have had this awful anxious feeling in my stomach all day and I think this is the first cycle where I actual feel that maybe I am incapable of getting pregnant. I could barely handle a failed IUI, so I think I would just want to die if we did IVF and that failed, too. I'm way too sensitive and emotional a person and for the first time in a year of TTC I don't know if it will be a "when" I get my BFP, but more like an "if". I hate that feeling.


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## lxb

sleepy - :hugs: it's only normal how you're feeling and that baby shower! And definitely not selfish at all. Like Sashimi said, don't put yourself in that situation where you know you will feel vulnerable. Men.... they can't really understand what we're going through each month.. and what's on our mind on a day-to-day basis. I hope you feel better by tomorrow. Pick that positive energy back up and we shall see a BFP next cycle! Go SMEP! 

Sashimi - Ahh.... :gun: PMS... :gun: BFFN! No more thinking of "if".. it will be "when". I believe that will be the case for you and you should too. :thumbup:


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## SleepyOwl

Lxb and Sashimi - Thank you both for understanding and for the encouragement! Overall I am feeling a bit better already. I went to the bathroom and there was more spotting, but right now I feel okay with that. I think the reason why it is getting so hard for me at this point seeing BFN's and getting my period. I always felt fairly young and now that I am quickly approaching 30, this sense of urgency is really kicking in. I am worried that maybe there is something wrong with me. Especially since it took my sister so long to conceive. Plus the constant waiting is just brutal. As for the shower, OH replied no for the two of us. I think at this point that is best - the less questions I have to answer the better. Plus the shower would fall at the end of June - right around when AF should come. Probably not the best timing, lol. 

Sashimi - Your crazy AF has to be because of all those eggs. 4 eggs!! That must do a number on your body. Hopefully taking a break this month will get you back to a better place both physically and mentally. I'm going to take a cue from you and hit the gym hard this weekend and work off some stress and frustration, plus I need to get ready for the summer!


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## SashimiMimi

Country: I didn't see your message. Yes, the trip really has snuck up! I'll probably pack on Sunday when OH is golfing. I take forever to pack, so there is no way I want to leave it until last minute during the week when I'm at work full time. Have you seen the reports about Union Station in Toronto completely flooding with rain and raw sewage?? I ended up working from home today because I wasn't feeling well, I would have been trapped otherwise. OH is going to have a hell of a time getting home because the entire subway line has shut down!

Sleepy: I can't stand the gym, but it surprisingly has helped a lot... especially with this cycle. My SIL finally got her BFP as you know after 4 IUIs, but by that time she was really into marathon training... maybe that helped? I'm taking a day off from the gym today, I didn't sleep at all last night and today I feel sore from head to toe thanks to yesterday's boot camp class, not to mention the AF cramps!


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## lauren26

Sleepy and Sashimi, AF and all te hormones that come with are rough!!! I have been anxious today too and have also been dealing with the possibility that I can't get pg. I know I am just starting fertility treatments/advising, but it actually has felt better to allow that possibility into my awareness. I'm glad you got to say home Sashimi as Sleepy i hope you get some TLC tonight!

Lxb and country i haven't forgotten your pg threads--it's hard to keep up on my phone!! Anyway, following just not writing much :) still really excited for you both! 

Treasured, and news?? 

Pino how are u?


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## lauren26

PS can y'all tell I can't stay away but also can't totally keep up? Lol.


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## SashimiMimi

It's too quiet in here! Where is everyone!?!?


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## preg_pilot

I´m still here, just working a lot these days :)


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## SleepyOwl

I know!! This thread has been sooo quiet lately. I think we had an exciting/overwhelming week though. I spend the day running errands and hanging out with my fam. We were supposed to go out with our close friends, but I really wasn't up to going out and people scrutinizing my every move if I drank or not. Being with family was definitely easier because they don't ask any questions. 

How's everyone's weekend going??


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## SashimiMimi

It's been rotten weather here. There was a massive flood at Toronto's Union Station yesterday which practically shut down the city, and today there was an 8-person shooting at a mall I was at just the other day. Most people who were shot we're innocent bystanders and one of them was a 13 year old boy. A pregnant woman got pushed over and trampled and went into labour! Such a terrifying thing to happen!

I've spent most of the weekend researching all of the reasons for my inability to get pregnant so far and am convinced I must have endo or something like that. I've looked at adoption sites and then feel sick at the thought of raising someone else's baby, OH and I discussed IVFand agreed that we could only do one or two attempts or we would be wiped out financially. I said I dont feel like i could handle going through ivf only to have it fail. TTC is starting to feel like gambling. I feel myself slipping into a depression and I think for the sake of my marriage I need to take a break from the fertility clinic and TTC at least for the summer. It will be hard, because part of me thinks what if this will be my month? But I know another month of putting my body through fertility drugs, the constant blood tests and ultrasounds and the invasiveness of the IUI, only to get a BFN will destroy me.

I've decided I'm not going to bring OPKs or anything like that on our trip next week. If we feel like BD then we'll BD, not because it's the right time but because we feel like it. I feel like I've been trying to force something that isn't meant to happen right now and I'm officially waving a white flag.

Sorry to sound like a bit of a downer again here. I've been in somewhat of a constant state of anxiety since the BFN, and my head is filled with endless "what ifs".

Sleepy, I know how you feel with the scrutinizing. It was like that awful surprise party I went to at the end of April. So many people were whispering in OH's ear asking if I was PG. or when I met a friend for a drink, his friends who I had never met all asked if I was PG because I was drinking club soda. people have no idea do they!?! So I think that another reason I need to take a break. I just want to be able to go to summer events and enjoy them with out the questioning! How are you feeling this weekend anyway?


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## SleepyOwl

Okay the weather and the shooting - that is just awful!!! People are so terrible :( We had a day or two of really crazy rain and tornados which is not normal for the DC area. Thankfully we didn't lose power and it passed fairly quickly. Lucky for us, we had a gorgeous weekend. I think our bad weather made its way up to you Sashimi! 

I think that's a great idea to forget about TTC and just enjoy your time with OH on your vacation. There's no need for the stress and pressure of OPK's and timed BD when you're there. Are you and OH both set on taking a TTC break for the summer then? Will it be more NTNP and then back to IUI/IVF? My sister took 4 IUIs to finally get pregnant and was ready to move onto IVF if the 4th cycle didn't work - fortunately it did, but I know it was just heartbreaking because of all the time and money you put into it. I'm hoping Mama Sashimi is right about her "feeling" that she had for you and OH and in Hawaii. 

I think that constant state of anxiety is totally understandable. Lately I've been feeling that more and more - and just been taken with a general sense of fear. I've only been seriously trying for 5 cycles now (NTNP for more than a year though), which really isn't too long, but that nagging feeling is still there. Generally speaking though, I think I'm back to my normal self. I needed a day of total self-pity and now I'm over it. Ready to make a baby!!


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## lauren26

Just a quick check in before the beach to tell u all that my waistline is rapidly expanding in the south, lol, and that AF came, cranky as ever  flying home tomorrow night and will try to share some pics!


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## SleepyOwl

Ooh enjoy the beach and your last day on vacation Lauren!!


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## SashimiMimi

My AF is still going strong. And to top it all off I have a giant zit right in the middle of my forehead!! I look like Quasimodo! It had better go away before my trip... I am after all turning 31 next Tuesday! Giant zit + vacation + turning 31 do not mix!!


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## preg_pilot

-Sashimimimi

Wow, I feel lucky, the weather here has been amazing all week, temps in the +20°C´s, and guns are illegal here, so not a lot of shootings going on ever...

I hope you feel better soon, it will do you good to relax and enjoy the summer :hugs:

I hear ya on the zits... my face looks like rough lava these days.
Hopefully it´ll go away before your vacation.
Have fun, and cocktails, and sunshine, and beachlaying, and seaswimming and just everything you fancy in your vacation :D


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## lxb

lauren - how was the beach?? beach sounds sooo nice right now~~~ (when does it NOT sound nice?! :haha:)

sleepy - :happydance: time to make a baby!!! I think 6 is your lucky number!

sashimi - Boo that zit!! Are you ready for your vacation?? All done with packing?


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## countrygirl86

I agree with Sleepy, what an overwhelming week for everyone last week! 

Sashimi, you don't sound like a downer, you sound like you're making decisions for your wellbeing! Your plan sounds wonderful, summer is a perfect time to take a bit of a break and just let loose and you can come back to it when you are ready (if you don't get the BFP in the meantime). Please have a lovely fruity drink for me in Hawaii! I heard about Union Station and the shooting, just awful (moreso the shooting). Glad you are alright! I have faith your zit will be gone. I got a cold sore with my last AF which felt like a double sting! 

Sleepy, glad you had good weather this weekend! I was with Sashimi on the weather, DH and I were supposed to go camping but he chickened out so we cancelled. You, Lauren and Sashimi will all be around the same cycle this month! 

lauren, hope you enjoyed the beach! Can't wait to see pics! 

lxb, how are you doing?


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## lauren26

Sashimi- I think it's a great idea to take a break, and I will likely do te same after this cycle. My doc will prob want to start meds so I'll give TTC a go this cycle if she does, but if she doesn't I will probably just give up for a month and forget about it! Beig away and not temping for a few days has allowed me to notice that I can and do feel relaxed when I'm nt focusing all of my attention on TTC, which I tend to do since I'm still on the job hunt. Anyway, you and OH are going to have a fantastic vacation and lots of time together--there's no reason to compromise that time away with stress ad opks! I hope the prophecy proves true and you get yor bfp while you're away, but either way I know you will have a great trip and birthday, zit or no zit!

Sleepy - I really felt similarly to you at around month 5 or 6. I think the novelty wore off for me and the hard work started being emphasized--plus my fear of it not happening! You have great charts though, and seems like you have really normal cycles and you ARE charting, so you're doing all you need! Plus they say that there's a 20% chance or something each month youdo it "right"....I am not trying to sound like everyone else in the world, lol, but I like your attitude about gods perfect timing and am trying to adopt the same mindset!

Afm, waiting in the airport to fly home. I am really starting to wonder if i can't have kids at all, ad amazingly I feel more ready than ever to hear that news. I still HOPE I never hear it, but I'm resigned to whatever is meant to be for us.


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## lauren26

Lxb ad country - The beach was amaaaaaazing! I wish we had more time and days there, but we will just have to plan for more beach next time around! I also had never been to Florida and we went to the beach in Pensacola, so I got to visit a new state! Everything was amazing--it was only a week but felt like 3 vacations. I will write more and post pics later!!


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## Pino6161

Gosh you guys went through a lot of pages w/out me LOL
Lauren--- I LOVE JASON SEGAL LOL. Sorry AF got you, at least I know we are not alone in this trying game. I mean OH tries, but sometimes just doesn&#8217;t suffice. I hope you had a fun trip! Can&#8217;t wait for the pics!! 

SashimiMimi--- I totally ruined my diet the last couple days LOL. Tomorrow I will be back on track!! So we can be diet buddies LOL. Maybe a break will be a good thing. Not just for your stress, but to rekindle w/ your OH as it sounds like he is having a hard time as well and he is trying his best to be strong about it. The weather sounds horrible!! People are so careless, and mean shooting innocent people, and that poor pregnant women, I don&#8217;t really have any words for it. I know what you mean about adoption, as I feel the same way. Many people call me selfish for saying I couldn&#8217;t adopt my first child, but I would be so scared to have my feelings rub off on a child. I got zit in the middle of my forehead as well!! LOL

Sleepy--- Sorry AF got you!! Onto next month, and hopefully we will all get our BFP&#8217;s

Country and LXB--- I know I have not been as supportive as I should, and I do apologize. I really am very happy for you. I didn&#8217;t mean to be so selfish. Happy appleseeds LOL

So about me LOL--- Well AF came this afternoon. I am surprisingly happy about it. I mean I am disappointed I&#8217;m not prego, but it isn&#8217;t supposed to come for about 4 days, so that means my cycle is getting shorter, which means my FertilAid is working. The weird part is that I had no signs of it coming except slight cramping at random times. My breasts didn&#8217;t get sore or anything. It is weird. This also means I get to play with my toys starting tomorrow LOL. So yesterday OH talked me into drinking, and I was feeling really guilty, so I feel better knowing AF is here. Me and OH met with the lawyer today, and it went GREAT. w/ in 3 months he will have a temporary work permit, and in 6 months he will have his residency, and in 3 years we can get his citizenship. In about a week we have to go sign papers, and then just wait. It is a big relief off my back! Just remembered I need batteries for my monitor. I will talk to you all later!!


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## SleepyOwl

Pino, that is great that the meeting went well!! Such a relief I'm sure :) Things are definitely beginning to work out for you - next stop, BFP!

Sashimi and Pino - I'm trying to join you two on your diet/working out adventures. I just sat around all day since today was CD1 and I feel super bloated. Going to make sure I start going to the gym a few times a week. I really got lazy after the half marathon and I think that's been affecting my mood.


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## lauren26

Pino - yayyyy! Congrats to you and OH! It's so nice when big things like that start to move. And no, you are not alone in the teeing process! This cycle is #12 for us, so soon we will officially be "long term TTC" I think. I CERTAINLY fell off the diet wagon, LOL. I loooove the South, but let me tell you I'd blow up like a balloon if I lived here!

We are waiting to board our second flight right now and a dog in a pink tee shirt and diaper just crawled on my lap and said hello! I think she will be on my flight. Lol.


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## Pino6161

YAY for dieting while TTC lol. 

Lauren I know what you mean about it being LTTTC but I prefer being on this thread to those over there LOL It just makes me feel a bit better LOL

Sleepy---At least you did a half marathon! I do a half mile walking and feel like my lungs are going to blow LOL. I am gtting better though. I don't go to a gym cause the nearest one is half an hour away, and I am too lazy to drive LOL plus gas is crazy high right now. I stick to my work out videos. I did get a new one though. It's called Tae Bo. I will let you guys know how I like it if and when I open it LOL JK


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## Lika

Hey ladies :) Glad to see y'all doing good :) And for those who AF got boo!!! Fxd for next cycle ;)

sashimi I hope you get better :) its okay to have down days sometime :)

Lauren-Geez u just made me miss FL!!! I lived in Miami beach for 6yrs before moving to Italy with my Dh, my parents still live there and I can't wait to be in American soil again lol Italy is awesome! But nothing beats the good ole USofA ;)

Well as far as me ladies AF is nowhere to be seen, so I guess I just skipped a period ugh! I'm in limbo =\ tomorrow I have a doc appt for blood work, which I should have the results in 2 weeks. If everything comes back clear, DH agreed to let me try Fertibella :) and get the clear blue fertility monitor... So hoping for a :bfp: in the months to come :)
For now, I'm just prepping for our road trip Saturday :D we are goin to a concert in Perugia(central Italy), it's about 7hrs drive from where we live in N. Italy so yep I'm excited :D

Happy Tuesday ladies!!!


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## lxb

lauren - ahh.. can't wait to see those pictures!! It all just sounds amazing!

pino - don't worry about it. We're all human and that just shows how much you want it. :hugs: I have a feeling your baby wants to born in March like you've mentioned!! It's all great news and everything shall go uphill from now~~ :dance: Ohh.. I remember Tae Bo! I've tried it before and it was FUN!! I've been trying out zumba with some friends lately... still need to get the hang of it!

sleepy - I still can't believe you did that marathon!! I would be like Pino... half a mile and I'm out!! :haha: Oh.. only few more days then off to SMEP!

sashimi - I can just smell the hawaii wind~ :haha: :headspin: for vacation!

lika - Happy Tuesday!! Hope all goes well with the dr. appt and for the bloodwork. Your roadtrip sounds exciting! Italy is definitely one of the places I want to visit~ DH & I r also planning a roadtrip to San Francisco (end of the month!)~~ Can't wait~

country - I'm doing okay~ Not much symptoms except for sleepiness/sore bbs/cramps. And I thought I was tired before!! :haha: How are you my appleseed buddy! 

How is everyone today?


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## Pino6161

OK people, so I am a bit confused LOL. I felt my period coming yesterday, and when I wiped there was nothing,but TMI when i put the toilet paper up a little, I did have a little blood. So I put in a tampon. That was 2:30PM yesterday. When I went to bed last night I went to change my tampon, and there was only a little blood, usually it would have been filled. So I changed it, and when I woke up this morning, I had the same amount, only a little bit of blood. It is very weird for me, when you guys started vitamins did it change the heaviness of your cycle?? I was still cramping the same as normal, and my cervix is very low and soft, which is normal, but it is weird that my flow is so light. Usually I have to change my tampon a couple times a day, and I have to use the super, but not now. IDK, has any one ever had this happen? Specifically after starting vitamins. I called FertilAid, and they said "It could happen, but since every person is different they can't say etc" Nothing really helpful.


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Ladies! I'm at work, so I don't have the luxury of having a double screen to keep up with all the posts! 

First, Pino... my last two cycles had extremely light 2-day AF. Normally I have a medium flow that lasts 3-4 days. I think AF can vary, but next time you're at the doctor you might want to discuss to make sure.

I'm so ready for my trip in a couple of days. Although the weather says it will be rainy for the 4 days we are in Vancouver, I'm looking forward to seeing OH's family and friends. The weather for Hawaii looks great, I'm counting down the minutes. 

A couple of things lately have really broken me out of my TTC funk: First, going to the gym on a regular basis as worked miracles for my mental state. Now I'm someone who HATES the gym, but there is a really fantastic facility right beside my work and I can't get home without walking right past it... I have no excuse. I really get bored doing regular workouts by myself on the machines, so I've been joining all of the group fitness classes like spin, extreme boot camp and last night I did one of those yoga booty ballet classes, which was a lot of fun!! We are doing a lot of adventurous activities in Hawaii, so if anything it will feel great to build my strength up! I said before that my SIL got really into running marathons during her TTC battle and now I can totally see why!

The second thing is my niece and nephew: Now I have told the story of my niece, SIL TTCed for 3 years! Had 3 failed IUIs and did everything WRONG on the 4th IUI that actually worked. You are supposed to do 2 IUIs back to back, she only did one because she was discouraged and was already gearing up for IVF (never got to that point thankfully). She assumed that because she only did 1 IUI it would fail, so she had a little wine, worked out and ate what ever during that 2WW. It reminds me that even though I had 4 follicles and everything was "right" no one really knows when it's going to work. Kind of like Sleepy's sister who was in the same "4 IUI until it worked" boat!

Anyway, my niece who will be 4 this October, loves to call me on FaceTime! The other day I told her I was going to Hawaii (not even explaining what Hawaii actually is) and I asked her what type of present she would like me to bring back for her. So she says, "Ummm...well, I would really like a necklace, a bracelet or some shells... But you can bring me ALL of those things if you'd like!!!" So I said okay, I will bring you all 3 of those things back from Hawaii... Then I asked her what to buy for her brother (who is turning 2 in a couple of weeks) and said he is really hard to shop for. So my niece says, "Oh he would REALLY like a blow up shark!" I LOLed but then got really confused as to how she even knows what a blow up/inflatable shark is! I spoke to my SIL and she couldn't figure out how she knew about blow up sharks either and we both laughed. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a 20 year old, not a 3.5 year old when speaking to my niece. So if SIL had succeeded right away with TTC, it wouldn't have been that same little girl. She is so special and was definitely worth the wait. I hope it will be the same case for me, that the right kid just isn't ready to come YET.

So LXB, I'll be on the hunt for a "blow up shark" in Kauai. I don't suppose you know where I could get something like this for my nephew haha!! Glad to hear you are doing the San Fran trip, if you want any tips you know who to come to as I went there for my honeymoon!! You have been so helpful with the Hawaii tips for me, it is the least I can do.

Lauren, did you make it back okay? Hope the flight back was smooth and that you are both home safe and sound!!

Country how are you feeling!??

I better get back to work! More later!


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## lauren26

Hello ladies!

Back safe and sound, but we didn't get home until 1:30am this morning. It was a loooong day of travel!! Hours of driving from Alabama and then two flights, one was delayed, a shuttle to our car at the airport, then an hour drive home. Whew!! I will work on getting a few pics up soon--I will probably put most of them on FB for those who want to see them there! I was ready to have a nice, relaxing day and called to make my day 5 ultrasound appt. with my doc and of course ended up having to go in this morning and rush around to make it, fast until noon, etc. Lol.

Despite my LOLing, I am feeling pretty down at the moment. I was going in to the docs today thinking everything would be great and I'd just get Clomid! I had my vaginal ultrasound to get my resting follicle count, and the tech showed me a few good sized cysts. I don't have PCOS, but cysts are normal anyway. The tech said that I might get put on bc pills for a months to try and shrink them. Unfortunately, after looking at them more closely she and my doc think that they might be endometrial cysts, meaning that I likely have endometriosis. They suggested a possible laparascopy and definitely wanted to do an HSG. The lap is off the table ATM, but long story short my doc said that I could either go forward with the HSG or go straight to IVF--whoa!!!! The problem for me is that the HSG is very expensive. My insurance does cover it, but not fully so I would still be paying a good chunk out of pocket, and since I left my job in February and am currently on the hunt it's not good timing--especially since we just spent $$ on this vacation! The HSG is something I've been wanting to get done for ages. We still might do it, or may wait a month or two, or may have to wait longer. Even if we go forward with it this month there could be other steps to take after and I just don't know if we're ready to dive down the financial rabbit hole with all of this. ALSO, the reason my doc wants to do the HSG is because she thinks that the cysts/possible endo are creating scar tissue and/or causing my tubes to be filled with fluid, thus blocking my tubes. The thing is that even if my tubes are OK, or if they can clear them out, if I do have endo it is likely causing lots of scar tissue in other places, so 1. a lap might be essential if I ever want to get pg (since it will just continue to create scar tissue) and 2. there might be enough scar tissue in my uterus that an egg will have a nearly impossible time implanting properly. The nurse also told me that if there is endo present that the womb is more hostile (she used a nicer word), trying to fight off the extra tissue and/or debris that might be in there. 

Whew!! Sorry for the long post. In a way I'm relieved to have this new information, but as soon as I saw the cysts on the screen I had a feeling that it would be more than something simple to deal with, and I'm honestly gearing up for the news (sooner or later) that I just can't have kids. I know that's jumping the gun, but I had an intuition to begin with that something was up, and the two tests I really wanted to run were the progesterone and HSG...and I was right about those needing to be done in the end. I just wonder if I'm getting the intuitive hit right now that we're out of the game. I don't really know what to even feel or think about it. My SIL texted on vacation letting me know that there was a brand new, $500 breast pump at our FIL's church member yard sale for a $10 donation. She picked it up for me saying, 'I know you're not pregnant yet but you will be soon'. I had a feeling that letting her get it would jinx me. Well, here I am! Lol. I don't know ladies. The odds are just really stacking up against me. 

Sashimi - Good for you for taking charge and getting some energy out and some good vibes in!! I'm so excited for your vacation :) :) It's almost our birthdays!!!! I haven't even thought about what I want to do for mine. It feels like our vacation was my gift, even though that wasn't the intention. I love what you've said about your niece and nephew, too. Maybe I need to adopt your perspective of perfect timing = perfect kid. 

Pino - My period got lighter and less clumpy after starting vitamins and acupuncture. It may be that you are just getting healthier and your hormones are balancing out!


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## lxb

sashimi - haha... your niece sounds sooooooooooooooo cute!!! My niece is 2.5! I am too often surprise by what she has to say!! Oo.. inflatable shark eh? I think your best bet would be at the local Walmart store?? :haha: Ah yes, well said. The right baby will be waiting for you soon! I sense a little bean with a Hawaiian flare~~ Hehe.. I'll PM u regarding SF trip~~ Would definitely love to hear what you recommend~!

lauren - Your time will come. I truly believe it will.


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## SleepyOwl

Wow Lauren - what a day you've had!! In a sense it's good that at least now you know that something is up (although you seem to have had a sneaking suspicion for a while), but now hopefully they can do something about it and you can make some serious decisions that will help you get that BFP. That is crazy that the doc suggested that IVF is an option at this point - but they know best I suppose! Is this something that you would be interested in or are you pretty set on doing the HSG first? When's the next time you'll be seeing your doc or hearing from her? This definitely sounds like a bump in your TTC journey, but lxb is right - your baby is waiting for just the right time to be made :hugs:

Sashimi: So true! The timing is always perfect when it happens and it always seems to bring the most perfect little ones into people's lives. I can't wait til we're at that point!


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## lauren26

Thanks Sleepy and lxb. I hope that you are right--that the time will come. For now I am trying to focus on being grateful for the other things that are going right in our life. We saw some seriously poor people in rough, rough situations in the South, and in comparison my life is going perfectly! It's just reminding me that these things really only happen by the grace of god, and that it's always a miracle! Not trying to sound super religious, lol, but that's how I feel. So. If I am meant to get pregnant I will! If not, I won't! Sleepy, I don't think that OH and I will ever go the IVF route at $30,000 for a cycle. It's just completely out of the range of things we can consider at this point. I will do the HSG, I just don't know when. It probably won't be this month.


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## SleepyOwl

Omg 30K for one cycle?? I knew it was expensive but didn't realize how much it actually cost!!


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## lauren26

I know!! It is less for subsequent cycles, but still like $17,000 or something. It's pretty crazy! That's how much it is at the clinic I'm going to, anyway. OH's cousin did 3 cycles of IVF and I think the initial was $20,000 and then it was either $12,000 or $8,000 for the other two. STILL! That's a lot of bananas, lol.


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## Pino6161

SashimiMimi--- Your niece sounds so sweet, you have to treasure them when they are young and adorable cause when they get bigger they can be brats LOL my nephew just these last 2 years started going down the brat road LOL. I still love him though. Keep at it with trying to keep yourself distracted. I say this cause I know after trying for so long it gets difficult not to think about it, and not do what you have been doing. I look at TTC like an addiction until we get to the score LOL. I can&#8217;t believe your vaction is so close. You have to keep us posted though, don&#8217;t be dropping off the face of BnB LOL. I really hope you have fun, and you can relax enough for your body to beat the odds :hugs:

Lauren---It sounds like you had a fun vacation, except for the long travel part LOL. I am hoping one day, we can just snap our fingers and be where we want to be LOL. I am so sorry to hear about the cysts, hopefully they are the kind that just go away by themselves. I know the feeling, just regular TTCing costs, let alone the Dr apt&#8217;s etc. Especially cause here in the US insurance doesn&#8217;t cover fertility treatments.


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## countrygirl86

lauren - glad you loved the beach! That's my favourite place too, I think I could lay on a beach everyday and never get tired of it lol Travel days are the worst part of vacation, it's still part of the vacation but it's rushed and full of delays (and puppy dogs in pink shirts)! I'm sorry your doctor didn't have easier to hear news. That would have been a lot to take in at one appointment :hugs: I know you are a while away from it anyway but that does seem expensive for IVF, here it's about $12000 for the first cycle. You aren't out, this is just yet another challenge on the road to your perfect little baby... What did DH think of it all?

Pino - awesome news about OH's citizenship! It's all coming together for your little family to start :hugs: Is there anyway it could be implantation bleeding?

Lika - so cool that you live in Italy! Let us know how your appointment went.

lxb - glad you aren't having too crazy of symptoms yet, let's hope they don't show up! :thumbup: I'm doing well, basically just the sore boobs and tearing/stretching feeling when I sneeze or cough. 

Sashimi - Your trip is so soon, can you taste the salty ocean air? Hope the weather in BC is nice for you too. Atta girl for giviner at the gym, that's an awesome outlet for your energy. Your niece sounds absolutely adorable! They are like little sponges at that age. That is exactly it, she wouldn't be the same little girl if she was created at a different time and yours is just waiting for the right time too. It doesn't make the wait any easier but will make the arrival that much sweeter. I'm feeling well thanks, no bad symptoms. 

Sleepy - how are you? Geared up for this cycle? Going to SMEP the heck out of it? :happydance:

Ladies I'm so glad to have all of you :hugs:


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161. I am hoping one day, we can just snap our fingers and be where we want to be LOL. 

Hehe. I certainly hope not, as that would put me out of a job ;)


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## Pino6161

Country--- I wish it was implantation LOL. I think I jinxed it. It was lighter the first day an a half, and I was worried. Then of course I post my concerns and boom, it decides to get heavier LOL. The cramping is the same this month, but I didn't break out acne wise as bad, and my breasts did not get the slightest bit sore, I think that is why is shocked my the AF just happened, at least that is how it feels, OH laughed at me and told me he is glad they didn't get sore the week before cause when they get sore he is not allowed to touch LOL.

Anyways, I am feeling good today besides the back ache, and I have quite a bit of energy so I am going to clean the house!!


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## lxb

I love how I come on this thread... and see a lot of my favorite people viewing this thread!

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 5 (5 members and 0 guests)
lxb, lauren26, SleepyOwl, Pino6161, SashimiMimi

Thanks for being my favorite people~ :kiss: :kiss:


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## lauren26

country - Thank you! I really appreciate the support. This board is so wonderful :) And you're right--it's just a bump in the road. I actually talked with my mom for a long time about this last night and she said, 'You can't just give up because of a little thing like this!' and offered to pay for the HSG. I feel SO strange taking $$ from a parent because I've been on my own financially for such a long time, but she really insisted and said, 'You need to learn to accept help when it's offered!' Lol. So I did! I am a little nervous about the test because I've heard it can be uncomfortable and because of all the info I already got hit with yesterday, but I suppose it's in for a penny in for a pound at this point (as far as information goes--not $ lol). DH was really supportive and was very concerned about the cysts. He didn't understand that they are mostly harmless. I can see where he's coming from -- it sounds gross and looked gross on the u/s screen. Anyway, we both decided that if I was meant to go forward with the test and any info it brings then we'd have $ show up or one of us would just 'know' that it was time. Right away the $ came, so there you go! The beach is amazing, isn't it?? Do you have beaches near Toronto? I guess I could just look at a map...:blush: I bet they are chilly beaches if you do! Are you and DH going to take a vacation/babymoon this year?


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## lauren26

Pino - I hope they are the kind of cysts that just shrink, too! Since she thinks they are endometrial cysts I don't know. Originally the lab lady said that they'd probably do bc pills to shrink them but I think they won't now. I don't know for sure. Weirdly my insurance doesn't cover bcp. How is your knee?? Are you feeling a lot better? 

lxb - Thank you too!!! I just now figured out how to see who is viewing, lol.


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## Pino6161

My knee is doing much better, I do have to wrap it when I excersize to keep it from popping, but it is feeling much better.

I know that accepting the money from your mom is weird, but I am glad she offered. She knows how badly you want this, and she is willing to do what she can to help, I think that is so sweet. My question for you, and I don't want to sound like a downer, but hypothetically, if this fails will you guys be able to do one round of IVF now that she is paying for this. Sorry, I can't help think like this, especially after SashimiMimi's sit.... Just curious, and you don't have to answer if I am getting to personal. :hugs:


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## lauren26

Pino - We deffffffinitely can't pay for IVF!! Lol. No way no how. So I've sort of come full circle at this point...I called to start scheduling the appointment for the HSG and now I'm not sure if I want to do it. I asked the nurse whether they can do a procedure to unblock my tubes if they are blocked and she said no.....I have heard many times that there is something they can do, so now I'm confused. I also have read several stories now of women who got an HSG and they were blocked, and later unblocked. Some women had blocked tubes, went in for lap to clear out blockage and/or something else and right before/during surgery discovered they were pregnant....it brings me back to feeling like I will get pregnant if it's God's will and if not then I won't! So right now I'm questioning whether to put myself through this painful test and put myself through possibly getting rough news right before my birthday. I am not sure in this moment if it's better to 'know' or get 'facts' or just take a big huge step back and trust that whatever happens is perfect. Or both! Whew. I did not expect to come back to all of this! But yes, we cannot afford IVF, and won't be getting help with that. If my tubes ARE clear then they want to continue monitoring the cysts and the nurse mentioned cycle monitoring and IUI...I just don't want to commit to that right now! If the tubes are clear I could certainly just stop my visits and take a breather. Anyway, I'm totally rambling now. The point is that I don't know what to do! Lol.


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## Pino6161

lauren--- It is not rambling LOL. I understand not being able to afford it, I am in the same boat. Hopefully they are not blocked, and then you will be able to relax just a little bit. I am praying for you! :hugs:


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## lauren26

Thank you! And in the end I've decided to wait a month. This is just all happening so fast and my birthday is on Monday--I want to take a little step back and enjoy my summer some before finding out any more news, lol! This time last year (right before my Bday) I found out I had severe adrenal fatigue and would have to go on a strict diet all summer. I am ready to be out of the woods and just enjoy myself for a bit :) My doc still wants to monitor the cysts, and that part still weirds me out a bit, but hopefully they will just go away and not grow super huge like they can sometimes do.


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## SleepyOwl

I think that's a great idea Lauren! Especially because this is a lot of information and it's all happening very fast. You should def. give yourself time to process it all and settle on what it is you want to do. Also you should totally enjoy your birthday and enjoy the summer without having this weighing so heavily on you!! But real quick back to the HSG and your mom - SO sweet of her to pay for it whenever you are ready to have it done. I know it feels weird taking money from them since we are older, but I think we'll always be their babies! It definitely helps having such a great support system in your family through this whole process!!


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## lauren26

Thanks, Sleepy!! Yes, it's totally sweet of my mom! She just wants me to be happy and feel at peace with everything. I am totally fine waiting on the HSG. I do think, though, that I will schedule an appointment with my regular old gynecologist to talk about the possibility of endometriosis and what she would do about it because I did some research and know that it can be somewhat harmful if left untreated, and can be a general health issue. I feel like going through my new fertility doc to deal with the endo would result mostly in treatments related to fertility vs. my overall health. I am excited to take a break, though! Thank you for the support :)


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## lxb

Lauren - It's good that you take some time off as it is an awful lot of information to digest! Enjoy your birthday! Your overall health should take top priority. Being healthy is the best gift anyone could ever ask for :) And like sleepy said, so glad you have strong support from your family! Stay strong and positive :hugs:


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## lauren26

Thanks, lxb!! You ladies are the best :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## countrygirl86

Lauren - just to touch on the money thing, my MIL told my mom that she was setting money aside for when we decided to have kids, assuming we'd need IVF. As difficult as it would have been I'm sure we would have accepted the help despite how awkward it would feel being grown adults! What better way can our parents spend their money than on their future grandkids (and their own kids of course)! It's probably good that they're going to monitor the cysts but that's a little awkward/uncomfortable for you. With your birthday coming up, just focus on enjoying yourself and celebrating how far you've come in a year! Any special birthday plans?


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## lauren26

Thanks, country!! How sweet of your family! That's just an incredible and thoughtful gift. The cyst monitoring will be uncomfortable but that's something I'm willing to put up with since I feel like it could be potentially dangerous to ignore if they are endometrial. Whew! So overloaded with info. Anyway, I don't really have plans yet. My dad and his girlfriend are taking us to a place in town that's a sister restaurant of a super fancy place. It's a pizza place, but it's Italian style, super yummy fresh pizza--yumm!!! And you're right--I should celebrate all that's happened and been accomplished this past year!


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## lxb

country - how sweet of your family too! And what great present to their grandkids (life!!) I would be perfectly fine taking the offer from my mom. But I just can't imagine what I would do or how I would think if I had to go through that with MIL. Not sure I would allow myself to accept money from MIL, given the fact of her behavior/attitude towards the house (since she helped with the down payment, she thinks she's the head of the household). My head hurts just thinking about it. Hopefully I would never have to face that.

lauren - Mmm.. pizza!!! Yum! Definitely enjoy yourself~ :)


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## Hormonal10

Hi there
So good to hear it's not just me! I'm 28 and been TTC for 6 months. I've wanted kids for as long as I can remember, it's one of the most important things in my life. Have been putting off TTC because of home situations and always worried 'what is I leave it too late' which is making it even harder now with every failed cycle. OH is really supportive but keeps telling me to relax and it will happen when it happens but that really doesn't help. I could relax if I thought it would happen within the next few years but it's just the worry that it might never happen that pertifies me. Promise myself every month to relax and not let it get to me but everytime the dreaded monthly appears I get so low and can't stop crying.


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## countrygirl86

Lauren - that Italian place sounds delicious! I love fresh pizza with a nice soft dough and fresh toppings lol Sounds like you've made the right decisions for now. Your personal health is the most important at this stage. Are you keeping up with acupuncture? 

lxb - it would be difficult for you to accept it from your MIL! Then she might think she owns the baby too! :haha: I have faith you won't have to go through that! 

Welcome Hormonal10! This is a great bunch of ladies so if you are looking for support you've come to a great place :hugs:


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## lxb

countrygirl86 said:


> lxb - it would be difficult for you to accept it from your MIL! Then she might think she owns the baby too! :haha: I have faith you won't have to go through that!

My thought EXACTLY~!! I would imagine there might be times where we would be disciplining our kid... and she would interfere and think.. "I have the right to the kid too!" 


Hormonal - Welcome! :wave: Yep, as country said, there are a bunch of great & supportive ladies here! And you are definitely not alone! :hugs:


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## lauren26

I was going to stop acupuncture for the moment but now I'm thinking that it wouldn't hurt to continue it. It really has helped with AF and is so relaxing....plus I have heard that it helps in managing endo if that is what I have.


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## Pino6161

Hormonal--- Welcome!! You will find this place very very helpful!!

Lauren--- I don't think it would hurt to go to acupuncture, if anything I think it will help!


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## SleepyOwl

Welcome Hormonal!! Nice to have you here :) This thread is great - lots of great ladies and lots of support!


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## lauren26

Pino, you're right, it probably would help!! I am at least taking this week off of acupuncture and therapy. 

I changed my mind at the last second and am getting the HSG tomorrow at 7:30 am (yuck so early!). I am scared but I started feeling like waiting a month and not knowing might feel just as stressful as finding out bad news now. So! Hopefully all will go well.


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## lxb

Lauren - Good luck!! :hugs: We're all behind ya 100%~


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## lauren26

Thanks, lxb! I am scared, ooooeeee!! I wish my husband could go with me but he'll be working. I have decided, though, that even if they tell me my tubes are stopped up from here til next Tuesday I'll just never say never! Still, hoping for the best :).


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## lxb

Ahhh.... would be nice if he could be there. We're there with you... mentally~~!! :hugs: 
Hoping for the best news!!


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## Pino6161

I'm very happy for you Lauren!!! I hope it all goes very well!! :hugs:


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## lauren26

You ladies are just a bunch of sweethearts. :hugs::hugs::hugs: I feel comfort in knowing that you all are aware that I'll be doing the test!


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## haribo813

I've been offline for a week and just caught up, what a lot has happened, have been thinking of all you girls. Glad you had good hols Lauren. Hope you're ok, you sound like you are having a tough time of things but information is power and you are a strong lady who is coping very admirably-good luck tomorrow and let us know how you get on. And I think it is really great you are continuing with your acupuncture if it relaxes you and can help endo if that's what it is. My acupuncture sessions have been going really well and I also find it very therapeutic running through everything each week-the poor guy! 

Sashimi, glad you are feeling a bit better. I loved the blow up shark story-thanks for the reminder about everything happening when it should and your child will be just as special as your little niece. You sound like a lean mean gym fighting machine too-inspiration to me certainly after pigging out on hols! I hope your AF symptoms are going away, you must be so looking forward to your break. 

Sleepy, sorry about AF :( hope you're ok, know what you mean about needing to get your head in the right place once you get the horrid witch. Am looking ahead to March 2013 babies now-it is funny how you dare to hope every cycle and feel like a fool at the end but we have to hope.

Country and lxb, so glad you're both still on here and so funny about your anniversaries! I hope you are doing really well, such exciting times for you both.

Pino, great news about your papers. Not sure what's going on with your AF, any more signs? I can't remember my period changing when I started taking pills but I've started to have very different periods month to month since starting acupuncture. And go you on the fitness videos-I went through a phase of doing them and found them really good! Especially when I used dumb bells-ouch!

I've been on holiday for a week, we had a great time, spent the first half with my family and then went off for a few days on our own, has been so nice to relax on the beach, play tennis, swim and enjoy lot of nice food and good art galleries. Holidays aren't quite over either as off to a wedding abroad over the weekend. It has been so nice to take a break and I really feel like I have stolen my life back from TTC. It has certainly made me think about lots of other things which is good. I have also realised how much of my energy is going on it and I am keen to pick up old hobbies, start new ones and move forward in my job-I think I have taken my foot off the pedal a bit as TTC has felt a bit all consuming and I think that in turn has put more pressure on when it comes to nothing each month.

I got some news today-my CD3 blood tests were all clear which I am pleased about. Am going in for my second round of tests on CD21 which is next Friday-these are the ones I am more worried about because I suspect I have low progesterone. Or if not that, I worry that I will be unexplained fertility as docs said you were Pino. Also bit surprised not to have O'ed yet this month-I am normally very regular and O on day 14 and have high OPK reading for few days before. I am already on CD14 and nothing-we shall see!

Hi Hormonal and welcome! We are all very much in the same boat on here. This is my 11th cycle and I am 30 (fast approaching 31!). 

Treasured, we are eagerly awaiting news!!

Nice to hear from you all and hope you are all looking forward to the weekend!
xx


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - I hope it goes well tomorrow and you get better news than you expect. Sending lots and lots and lots of good thoughts your way. I'll be checking in throughout the day to see how it went!! 

Haribo - Glad your 3 day results were good. Fingers crossed the next one is just as positive. How nice to be able to enjoy your holiday and reclaim your life from TTC. It really does take hold of everything. I am really trying to not be so consumed by it as well, but it is a challenge isn't it?

Haven't been on much lately and will prob take a full break from BnB this weekend because I really feel like I have become beyond obsessed. I mean obvi we're all obsessed, but I can't get work done sometimes because I cant stop flipping through threads and going to LTTTC and thinking up possible scenarios. 

On a non-TTC related note, we are getting lots of new furniture tomorrow morning and I am SO excited. Will prob spend a good deal of the day tomorrow decorating and thinking about the next steps for our dining room and guest bedroom. Finally the fun part of owning a home!


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## SashimiMimi

Holy S!! Lauren way to go on getting the HSG over and done with. You will be fine! I went alone and everyone else had their husbands with them. I'm actually glad I was solo because I would have freaked out more in OH's presence. It really wasn't as bad as it seems!

Well we made it to Vancouver. My iPhone died last night and I had to scramble to get a replacement before our flight! I'm exhausted and jet lagged but saw Lauren's note. I'll be thinking of you all day tomorrow.

PS. My lap surgery is booked for July 10! Eek!!


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## Lika

Hello ladies!!!:flower:

Hope everyone is doing good :) and for those not doing so good, a big ole :hug:!!!
Well my worst fear was confirmed, I have pcos and wa put on metforminXR. I'm kind of glad I FINALLY have some answers, not the one I was hoping for but now I can make changes to my diet to make the pcos symptoms better :)
Day 2 of metformin and so far so good :) no nasty side effects!!! Doc said that I have to be back in 6 months if I don't get pregger, and they will put me on clomid. I feel like I'm on the right track now :)

Big :hug: and loads of :dust: your way ladies :)
I'm loading up the car and cleaning the house today, because tomorrow is ROAD TRIP day!!! I will try to be on, but if not be back on Sunday!!! :D


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## kimberleywats

Can't tell anyone I'm preg-
forgot a load a pills since starting back at work
Have an 8month old baby
I'm about 4-5 weeks preg
Too scared 2 tell anyone
Even my bf doesn't kno
I have 3 children already- 8mnth son, 6yr old daughter and 9yr old son
WOuldnt terminate... Jus to clarify!!
I feel so stupid and ashamed 2 get myself in this situation!! 
Takin pre natal vits in secret. Dont kno what I'm gona do
Obv I gota tell ppl but jus dnt kno how. 
Everyone is gona think I'm a total idiot- 
My bf was sayin yesterday how everythin is perfect ATM wiv me being back working and the money coming in more steady now- now can I say " well I'm preg, not guna be Able 2 work and we have another mouth 2 feed!!


----------



## Lika

Well Kimberly Im sorry you are in this predictment. But congrats on the pregnancy :) I'm sure y'all will find a way to make it work. Just don't stress so much, eat properly and take care of you and the baby you carry :)

Good luck! &#10084;


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## kimberleywats

Worst thing is I'm a full time chIldminder- I look after another 8 month old and a 2 yr old- When should I stop this job- it entails a lot of lifting-stress- non stop on my feet etc-
:/ 
This baby may not have been planned but it will b loved- jus tough finding way 2 tell ppl without makin them disappointed wiv me. 
Will abstain from alcohol etc- c the midwife at 8weeks as I should- and stay healthy 4 the baby- cos regardless of how I feel- it's arrival will come!!


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## countrygirl86

Lauren - GOOD LUCK! I'm thinking of you, not sure what time that is here but you are on my mind :) Good for you for doing it now. 

haribo - sounds like a lovely holiday! You should feel very refreshed! Hoping your O comes soon and BFP shortly after :hugs:

Sleepy - I take a break almost every weekend (unless someone's testing!) so don't feel bad! I'm totally obsessed too, spend most of my workday on here. Enjoy your new furniture!

Sashimi - Hope you are having a good start to your holiday (minus the phone mess)! I'm sure FIL is ecstatic to see you guys. Woohoo July 10th! Just over a month away. Only a few days till Hawaii!

Lika - glad you have some answers and are full steam ahead! Best of luck with the metformin.

Kimberley - Congratulations! You tell people when you are ready, not sooner!


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## lah1553

I know how you feel I have been TTC #1 since August of 2011. I completely understand the depressing anxiety and almost depression that comes with it.


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## lah1553

Sounds a lot like me, been trying since August 2011. I am just recently turned 28 and no baby yet. My husband and I were just told last weekend by our best friends that they are pregnant. It has been very hard this past week.


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## lah1553

Lika,

I am in the same boat as you. I was put on Metformin and will be put on Clomid in 4 months if I am not pregnant. I did not get any of the nasty side effects either. I will pray for the both of us.


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## kimberleywats

Thanx- not ready 2 tell anyone yet- may aswell let the oh enjoy a few stress free months before I drop the bombshell "we havin a baby" 
Surely ther won't b any harm in him not knowing yet right- 
He wants another baby anyway- but our intention was 2 have another when theo is around 3- so really he shouldn't b too botherd right?? 
Can u help me think of excuses 4 not drinking If any one asks!?


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## lxb

Kimberley - congratulations on your miracle. And definitely only tell when you're ready. Are you breastfeeding your 8-month old?

lauren - how was your appointment???

sleepy - yep! I'm definitely a BnB addict too!! Good thing this addiction is only doing goods to ttc and not anything harmful to our body! :haha:

haribo - glad to hear lovely updates from you. and hope things are well with you~


----------



## lauren26

Whew!! All done and, MUCH to my surprise, all clear, both tubes :happydance::happydance::happydance:. The procedure was definitely very uncomfortable and downright painful at some points. I took about 6 ibuprofen beforehand (which is what I take for day 2 AF cramps), and still felt it, so I'd advise anyone else to take that precaution! I don't think it would have been so painful except that the way I was sitting or laying or something made it so that my cervix took a sharp turn and the tech had to take his time winding the catheter around in there--ouch! Since I'm so squeamish and knew I'd be really nervous I called ahead and asked for a light local anesthetic for my cervix and I'm glad now that I did. Anyway, I was shocked to see how small the uterus is and how fine those tubes are! No wonder it can take a while! 

So from here I imagine my doc will want to just wait and monitor the cysts. With any luck all of this will be a false alarm and they'll go away. The only 'test' left for me to do at this point is a lap. That would show if I have endo and enough scar tissue to prevent implantation or something, but for now I'm just focusing on the fact that the HSG went so well! I asked the tech beforehand how common it is to see both tubes blocked and he said in 2.5 years he's never see it. He said rarely is one tube blocked. That really surprised me. 

Thanks for all the support, ladies!! I felt the love today and was able to get through the stickiest patches knowing you were here :hugs:.

Sleepy - Yayyy for new furniture!! Love that. I think it's wise to take a break when you notice the all-consuming-ness of BnB and TTC. I'm behind you! 

haribo - Thank you! That makes me feel great :) And after so many of you ladies recommending that I continue the acupuncture I think I will!! Can't hurt, that's for sure. I'm so glad that you got away and are still getting away! Day 3 bloods being normal is really great. I think that they are more indicative of 'problems' than day 21 but not 100% on that. If it is low progesterone it's an easy fix, probably. Fx that the day 21 goes well!

Sashimi - Thanks for hopping on and saying that! Glad you guys made it and bummer on the phone but man I do love a new phone! I thought it would be really uncomfortable to have DH in the room, and that would have made 5 people total in there, lol. There was a student doing her rotation, which was OK with me. Though since the procedure took waaaaay longer than normal because of the cervix turn, DH was panicking in the waiting room, poor guy! You do not have to do the lap if you don't want, and if you decide do go forward with it I am SURE it will be totally fine. It's become so routine that I know it will be safe for you. I am behind you either way :)

Lika - I'm sorry you got the news you were't hoping for, though I am glad that they can help you, that you've caught it now, and that you got on meds right away. Fx that it will lead to your BFP! PCOS diagnosis isn't the end of the line :hugs:. Road trip sounds great!!

Kimberly - Congrats on being pg! Like country said, take your time and tell people when you're ready. 

country - Thank you!! That's really sweet and like I said I felt the love today :hugs:.


----------



## Pino6161

Hey everyone, I just wanted to pop in quickly with some news as I freaking out. I talked to my mom yesterday about my OH's paperwork, and she said since he will have everything by early December, she would let Ryan know. Ryan is the guy that wants to hire OH as manager of his landscaping business cause he is bilingual and every year he goes to Mexico and brings people on work visas, and he wants someone that can head them, and translate. Well she said he starts their hiring middle April, so our best bet is to move in late March to Oklahoma. Well I was telling OH about it yesterday, and he agreed with my mom. Financially it will be tough to save it all up, but we can do it. Well then we started talking about TTC and alll the money we are spending on it and how hard it would be if I got pregnant, and we moved. Well we decided to TTC this month, using the monitor, pillls, and BBT. This will be my last chance for a while to try cause we won't be able to afford all of the supplies and the move. The catch though is that if I get my BFP this month we would have to move earlier cause my due date is in March. I'm not as worried about the cost of pregnancy because I know my in-laws will pay for a majority of it, as they have already told us. I guess what I am trying to say is that is I don't get what I want this month, I have to wait another year before we can start trying again. Yesterday OH made the big mistake of saying since I am still young I still have 25 good years of TTC. I bit his head of LOL cause there is no way I want children when I am 46 y/o. Anyways, I am kinda freaking out, cause I agreed with his way of thinking, and it makes the most sense, but I am scared that if I don't get it, and then we don't try, I will miss my mark, and never get to have a child. I know it sounds really dumb, but now I have a timeline, l am really scared. IDK you guys, I am really worried over here, and OH takes everything like it is no big deal, he never really worries.


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## lxb

Lauren! we posted at the same time!! Soooo glad your HSG went so well! When will the lap take place?

Sashimi - hope you're enjoying your vacation! Are you going to sneak in some :ninja: bd? :haha:

Lika - Have fun on your road trip! Enjoy yourself~~ :hugs:


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## Lika

lah1553 said:


> Lika,
> 
> I am in the same boat as you. I was put on Metformin and will be put on Clomid in 4 months if I am not pregnant. I did not get any of the nasty side effects either. I will pray for the both of us.

Thank you hun &#10084;
Hopefully this diagnosis is one step closer to that :bfp: :D
Yay for no side effects!!!

To all the other girls :) thank you for the kind words!!! &#10084;&#10084;&#10084;
And I am a bnb addict too :D lol


----------



## lauren26

lxb - Thanks!!!! I don't know if they will want to do the lap for sure or not...They are going to monitor the cysts next month and go from there. With any luck they will go away! Though I know that's not the likeliest of outcomes, lol. At least I know, or think, that a lap could help, and she didn't seem to believe that cysts on the ovaries would prevent pregnancy. Obv something is making it difficult, but it isn't necessarily that...Maybe fate will smile upon me this month and I'll get a BFP so that I don't have to think about surgery at all!

Pino - It's OK!!! This may not be your last chance. Even if you can't afford all of the gadgets and tests while you're gone sex will be free! And in the end, you've been making changes to improve your health and diet--you've got the best chances yet, in my opinion. If you get pg in the next year then really you'll just need to get on prenatals, and hopefully that will be part of what your inlaws cover, since a good prenatal can be expensive. But don't fret!! This is NOT your last chance this year or next. You can still BD and try just without the OPKs etc. I really hear that you are freaking, and I'm sorry you are going through all of this stress! That said, I know that it will be OK and that what seems clear now may change over the course of a few months, weeks, or days even. There is always possibility and situations can adapt and change--that's what life is all about! :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## kimberleywats

Hopefully I can tell oh b4 my water breaks hey!!! Lol 
Thanx ladies 
. I kno it prob sounds really silly but it nice 2 b able 2 share wiv someone!!! :) ahhh feel a massive relief been lifted!!
Thank you 4 reading

Hope you all get your lil miracles soon too!! 
I remember ttc wiv my son- it was only 7mnths but it was extremely stressful getting bfps !!
Only occasionally breastfeeding as 8mnth old has mainly solid food now. X
Do u kno I'd I need 2 stop that!?


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## kimberleywats

Meant bfn's (guess the baby brain has started)


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## Pino6161

Haribo--- Nothing really different about AF it got a bit heavier day 2 but not by much, just no sore brests which is weird. Today is my last day of AF. Your vacation sounds like so much fun!! Like I told my mom yesterday, I am not sure what a vacation is LOL. I am happy so far all of your tests are clear!! That&#8217;s a great start!! At least if you do have low progesterone, they will be able to fix it, cause I know for a fact having &#8220;unexplained&#8221; infertility sucks, cause you get no closure, and no answers which is horrible in itself. I know when they first told me I blamed them for not figuring it out, and just giving up. Now it comes down to blaming me which is almost worse. Anyways, hopefully you will get conclusive answers. Good luck!! :hugs:

SleepyOwl--- I know how you feel aout being obsessed LOL, it has actually come to the [oint that I silently stock more than comment LOL. My OH says I am a creeper LOL. I am the same way, I start going through all of the dif threads and diagnosing myself in a way. I don&#8217;t think of it as a bad thing though, we are just trying to find answers, and it&#8217;s better than nothing. Congrats on new furniture!! Me and OH were talking yesterday about when we move a lot of our furniture is not even worth moving, so we will be getting new stuff, which is perfect for our fresh start!!

SashimiMimi--- I can&#8217;t believe your vacation is already here, it feels like just yesterday when you planned it all LOL, how time flies. July 10th is right around the corner, I am so nervous for you, just cause it has the word surgery in it, and needles itself make me really nervous. I just really hope that you will finally get your very deserved BFP! :hugs:

Lika---Sorry about the PCOS, at least they will be able to control it, and many people do get their BFP&#8217;s after their PCOS is controlled. I have hope for you!!! :hugs:

Kimberleywats--- Sorry about your situation, but congrats on your BFP.

Lauren&#8212;I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! Clear tubes is great!!! It made me smile knowing that you are one step closer, and hopefully I was right, and they just go away on their own!! I think you are right, and this is not the end of the world, I think I will keep BBTing at least it&#8217;s something, but I really do hope this is our month. We will be able to get the good prenatals, and in-laws will probably pay most of the apt. and buy a lot of the baby stuff, that is the plus of OH being the youngest. I also know my parents will pitch in, especially my mom since my brother has cut them out of their first grandchild&#8217;s life. I know that all sounds bad, and selfish, but I have to do what I have to do.


Thank you everyone for your support!!! :hugs: to all!!!! Love you guys!!!


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## lauren26

Yes, Pino, you def have a shot!! And you know what they say--new house, new baby! So you guys are moving after this month? I got a little confused about the timeline. 

I know I have asked you a MILLION times, but do you have PCOS? I thought you did for some reason, maybe bc of the long cycles.


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## Pino6161

Lauren... No, we are moving 9 months from now, we have to be able to save up for the move, and wait for all the legal paperwork to get done.

No I don't have PCOS, I would prefer that because at least it would have an answer, my Dr.'s diagnosed me with "unexplained infertility". In another words they have no idea what is wrong. I guess according to my aunt, it runs in my birth-mom's side of the family, they all had trouble getting pregnant, but there wasn't any rhyme or reason to it


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## lauren26

How weird! I am the opposite--every single woman on both sides of my family got pregnant really easily. My dad has 5 brothers and sisters. I think his mom hated the fact that she got pg so easily. If only we could trade! Anyway, that's frustrating that you have unexplained IF. Have they run all of the tests and all that? I wonder what's going on with the long cycles. I'm sure you've been through all of this and every question! I wonder if it's just that you're young and your cycles are evening out. Mine changed a lot between 18 and 25.


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- well what happened is my birth mom got pg easy, but the rest of her family had issues, my dad's family on the other hand pop them out without thinking. I have had all the tests done plus some. My Dr's wanted me to got straight to IUI, but I am determined, and it is really expensive


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## lauren26

I see. Well, don't give up!! :) I am with you. My docs were talking about the possibility of IUI but I just don't really see the point if I'm not having any issues with sperm and egg meeting, and it doesn't seem like I should have any.


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## Pino6161

That is exactly my thoughts. :hugs:


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## treasured

HEYY GIRLS!

So i arrived back to the horrid weather of the UK this morning :( I didnt want to leave my holiday it was so much fun. Gotta get back to routine now though I suppose! Got a few other little trips planned though so wont be too bored of life!

As I posted before, I was like 3-4 days late this cycle and was having cramps for a week so was really hopeful and excited at the start of my holiday. But I took 2 hpts and both were BFN. Then I got really faint spotting at 13dpo so knew it was starting. SO upsetting. I was really angry that AF came late and got me all excited, but I guess 13dpo is a good luteal length so thats one good thing. I was ok the first day of AF but the next day really hit me hard, me and OH went to a market in a nearby town and there were literally babies EVERYWHERE. Turkish people have sooo many children :(. And one little boy was staring at me and smiling and laughing and I just about broke down. I had to put on my sun glasses inside to hide my eyes as they welled up. I didnt show how upset I was to OH cause I didnt want to ruin his holiday but I think he knew how down I was. I kind of got it out my system that day though and the rest of the time was really good. I got really drunk the following night and adopted a kind of i dont care anymore attitude, but really, of course I care, I just needed to let myself go a bit that night. 

We met so many lovely people while we were over there, although their culture kind of assumes that couples get married and have children much earlier than they do here so we had a lot of questions about if we were married or if we had kids. which kind of made me a bit upset as well..... But I had such an amazing time and its only like 4 days till i think I will O this cycle so it has definatelly kept my mind of things! I even got another tattoo while i was there which is like an anklet made of japanese pink flowers and leaves, very pretty :). 

So I'm Sooooooo far behind on everything here! So far I have MASSSSSSSIVE congrats for country and lxb! tell me everyything girls, im so happy for you both, how are you both???

Also preg- how are you getting on!! :)

lauren- what is this HCU thing you are getting for? sorry... is that a silly question? I dont know about all these things but I would love info :) hope you are keeping ok and sorry AF got you too :( at least you know about the progesterone now so you can keep that under checks !

sash- sooo sorry reading your previous posts but glad you are feeling a bit better now :) :hugs: i cant think what it must be like for you to gegt BFNs after putting so much time and effort in. I honestly believe you are MEANT to be a mummy and it will happen, just remember, it doesnt matter how we get there, as long as we do in the end :)

pino- my cycles have been totally all over the place too! i thought they had regluated a couple of months ago but the last two months ive had 28/29 day cycles! weird! also some of my cycles are really heavy and some light. glad to hear about your OH and getting everythign settled :). how are you keeping? is it OPKS for you this month?

how is everyone else??? sleepy (liking your attiditude about just getting on with it! ive had enough moping for sure! haribo how are youu? ? 

Where is everyone in their cycles then? anyone nearly Oing? xxxxxx


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## Pino6161

Welcome back Treasured!! I missed you LOL :hugs: Sorry AF got you, I know how you feel, but on to this month LOL. Today is my last day of AF, so tomorrow I get to pee on my stick LOL!!!


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## preg_pilot

-treasured

Doing alright.
Morning sickness seems to have caught up with me 2 days ago. Feeling kinda lame these days. Trouble sleeping, but still loving it.

I'll most likely be going to the midwife between the 23rd and the 30th of this month. That's when My OH gets here. It would be wonderful to do this with him,


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - Yay!!! Just had to get on and see how it went. So so glad that your tubes are clear. What a huge relief for you!! 

Treasured - Welcome back! I hope you had an amazing time on your vacation. Glad you're back to obsess with us :)

Sashimi - Enjoy your vacation!! I'm sure seeing your FIL will be wonderful and that Hawaii will be amazing. Can't wait to hear all about it!!

I'll have to write everyone else later when my niece isn't around! I missed all of you today - don't think I'll be able to stay away all weekend - it's too hard to catch up around here, lol!


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## lauren26

Treasured - Welcome back!! Sorry about the late AF, but longer luteal phase is good! The HSG is the test where they run dye through your uterus and fallopian tubes to see if anything is obstructed or abnormal.


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## treasured

missed you too pino!! :) and everyone else! wooo for last AF day, are you POAS for O? or somthing else? im so behind haha! also keep up with your weight loss you will get there :D! Im getting back to the gym on monday get rid of my holiday belly haha! I should probably get some OPKS this month but I dont know if I can actually be bothered. Eveery month ive OPKd ive been CD16 so hopefully it will be the same. Although OH has been ill for the last 2 days so hopefully he will get better by tomorow so we can start BDing in time for O. 

lauren- ahh i understand now! so everything came back normally? thats great! but also kind of annoying that you dont have an exact answer... did you mention that you had been tested for endo? how did that go? sorry I havent read everything in full!


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## lauren26

Treasured - Thanks!! It is annoying, though, not to have a real answer. I have not been tested for endo--my doc saw some cysts on my ovaries when I had an ultrasound, and they looked suspiciously like endo cysts. However, the only way to confirm for sure that it's endo is to have laparascopy (exploratory surgery). I imagine that my doc will want to hold off on that for a bit since it is surgery, but I am still going in to my GYN this month to talk to her about the proces since she performs her own surgeries. 

Anyway, originally I was mostly concerned about low progesterone. My doc said (I now have a new doc who is a specialist) that the progesterone wasn't as much of a concern as the spotting and 12 day LP--those combined, she said, made her think I wasn't Oing strongly enough and she was going to do Clomid. Now I don't know what she'll say. My bloodwork came back good, so it could be that the cysts are affecting O. Anyhoo, I am hoping that she will put me on Femara and progesterone and just try for a couple of months. 

Now you're caught up! Lol. That might have been way more info than you wanted, but there you go :)


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## Pino6161

Well,with my weight loss I started at 237.2. I weighed myself this morning and am at 231.0. I am so excited LOL. I have lost a total of 6.2 lbs. I haven't been excersizing quite as much as I like, and when I do I can't finish the video mostly because of the knee. It is much better, but I have to wrap it up tightly when I work out. I am using the Clearblue Fertility Monitor so my first test stick was this morning. I didn't POAS all last month except for once, so I satisfied my urge LOL. I really do hope that this is my month. I talked to OH last night and we both want this to be our month, but it also means we would have to move in January because March would be around the due date, and that is to close for comfort. We are both stressed but excited about this move. We have always lived close to his parents, and that was our security blanket. Now that we are moving close to my parents it is very different. Different culture, and different values. They believe the way I do, that we are independent. his parent, especially mom does not know how to mind their own business. I still love them though, and they have been there with us through a lot. Sorry, I am rambling LOL!


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## treasured

lauren- wooohoo i am up to date now! it is crazy all the different things that it could be huh?it is good that there are lots of options but at the same time how much better would it be if there was just one pill you could take and it could sort everthing out! Good luck with the specialist though, hopefully she can get the right combo for your BFP :D im dreading the day i have to go to the doctors to ask for all these things :( i guess there is no real rush, although I would like to know if there was anything wrong sooner rather than later. how long were you TTC before first speaking to the docs? I've been thinking about it and because I dont chart or use OPKS every month does that mean Ive been more NTNP than TTC? im confused by that whole thing.... 

pino- WELL DONE :) that is a good amount and just a start for you!!! i know you can do it hehe. every little helps! ohhh i see you are starting the monitor woohoo. that is exciting....how exactely does it work? does it keep averages of your cycles and stuff? WOW i really know nothing hehe... i still dont totaly understand OPKS haha. that will be good for you guys to have more independance, although it is nice to have a supportive family. its hard cause noone knows im TTC not even my mum who i tell most things too so I cant even discuss it with her. She really wants me to have a baby though, even asked if I was pregnant after my holiday haah! she lost 2 babies after having me, one at full term (my lil sis Leena) so I think she wishes for a grandchild more than anything and Im the only child so I feel its resting on my shoulders to give her that! woahh, didnt mean to bring the mood down their! 

Well aparently im 3 days away from O so this month will probably just be luck of the draw cause im not buying opks and hopefully OH will be well enough to BD or this month will be wasted :( 

love to alll xxxxx


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## treasured

lauren- wooohoo i am up to date now! it is crazy all the different things that it could be huh?it is good that there are lots of options but at the same time how much better would it be if there was just one pill you could take and it could sort everthing out! Good luck with the specialist though, hopefully she can get the right combo for your BFP :D im dreading the day i have to go to the doctors to ask for all these things :( i guess there is no real rush, although I would like to know if there was anything wrong sooner rather than later. how long were you TTC before first speaking to the docs? I've been thinking about it and because I dont chart or use OPKS every month does that mean Ive been more NTNP than TTC? im confused by that whole thing.... 

pino- WELL DONE :) that is a good amount and just a start for you!!! i know you can do it hehe. every little helps! ohhh i see you are starting the monitor woohoo. that is exciting....how exactely does it work? does it keep averages of your cycles and stuff? WOW i really know nothing hehe... i still dont totaly understand OPKS haha. that will be good for you guys to have more independance, although it is nice to have a supportive family. its hard cause noone knows im TTC not even my mum who i tell most things too so I cant even discuss it with her. She really wants me to have a baby though, even asked if I was pregnant after my holiday haah! she lost 2 babies after having me, one at full term (my lil sis Leena) so I think she wishes for a grandchild more than anything and Im the only child so I feel its resting on my shoulders to give her that! woahh, didnt mean to bring the mood down their! 

Well aparently im 3 days away from O so this month will probably just be luck of the draw cause im not buying opks and hopefully OH will be well enough to BD or this month will be wasted :( 

love to alll xxxxx


----------



## lady luck12

SashimiMimi said:


> Hi All! I'm new here and could really use a buddy. I'm feeling pretty deflated after the arrival of AF this morning. I'm 30 years old, been TTC for #1 for 8 months. Anyone else in the same boat? OH is supportive but feels I'm "too focused" on this one thing. Would love to chat with other women who have been trying for a few months!

Hi :flower: sounds like your talking about me there hun. Been trying for just over 2yrs now, I'm 31 yrs old. It's only last month I've got anywhere with the help with my consultant. What about you ? xx:dust:


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## lauren26

Pino - That's so great that you've lost 6 lbs!! Way to go! It's hard with an injury but good for you for sticking with it. Plus, as long as you're taking the right precautions, it's good for healing to get some exercise--get the blood moving etc. 

Treasured - Yes! It's crazy. I mean, my doc is narrowing things down but it's still such a big mystery. I do think that progesterone has been an issue, but aside from that it may simply be that I haven't been 'trying hard' for long enough--started charting in January and really pinpointing O during that time. Anyway. It's not that bad to get tests done--the waiting is the hardest part for me! Like waiting for results after getting blood drawn etc. This month is cycle #12 for us, and I just started seeing a specialist last month. I was referred to an OB by my general practitioner back in November because I was complaining about spotting before my period for 7 or so days. She really didn't do anything despite my insistence for 6 months that she do blood work or look into the progesterone. She literally just sat on her hands. It was the month before I went to the specialist that I finally INSISTED that she just do day 3 and 21 blood work (which she did improperly!). Anyway, not everyone needs an HSG, but since my blood work was OK and my doctor thought she saw 'fluid around the tubes' on my ultrasound she wanted to make sure the tubes were all clear. I wanted to avoid the test because it's expensive, but she basically told me that without that info the only treatment she'd perform was IVF. How long have you been trying? Hopefully you can avoid all of these things! I have been lucky in that I demanded tests and have gotten a ton of information just in the past month. 

Afm, day 8 so nothing exciting! I am on a brief but intense antibiotic for the HSG and it's giving me some nausea and diarrhea (yuck), so that's sort of lame.


----------



## Pino6161

Treasured--- The monitor is supposed to give you more fertile days compared to OPK's and it tells you when your about to O and when you have O'd it's expensive though which sucks, but who said TTC was cheap LOL. So excited!! Hopefully OH feels better, or just sucks it up LOL I have made OH do that before LOL. OH tells me that when he doesn't feel goood, his little buddies are probably sick too LOL. He makes me laugh. I told him to stop trying to get out of it LOL


----------



## lauren26

Hahaaaaa my OH just uses being sick as an excuse to 'relax' during BD....I'm like, I'm already doing all of this work with POAS and temping!! Now I have to be the one pulling most of the weight during BD, too?? Lol. It's not bad--makes for a nice change. :) He is sooo helpless and needy when he's sick. He asks for 'sexual healing', lol. I'm like, I'm sure all that's going to accomplish healing-wise is to put you straight into a nap after...Lol.


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- My OH is the same way. He is a big baby when he is sick LOL. Of course he says the same thing about BDing LOL. I just say it's better for him to be on top and sweat it off LOL. Of course that's not what he wanted to hear LOL


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## SashimiMimi

Hey Gang!! I'm having a tough time keeping up with BnB... FIL doesn't have wireless, so I keep having to check the board on my phone. Right now, I'm in a Starbucks on my iPad taking advantage of the wireless.

I'm still in Vancouver and counting down the minutes until we leave for Hawaii on Monday. On the flight over, I had really weird cramps, like O cramps which I never really get naturally (had them both times I did the ovidrel shots). So after last month's failed Puregone injections I'm nervous about the state of my ovaries... So, I cheated and did an OPK this morning (negative) because I'm only on CD10. I'm hoping the cramps go away!! 

I have found that I've been letting my scheduled lap surgery on July 10 creep into my mind from time to time. I have decided not to tell work that I need more time off until I get back. They have given me so much time off for this trip, I hate to rock the boat even more.

The lap surgery still seems so rushed and I can't believe it's even gotten to this point. But considering I've failed with 3 IUIs naturally, on femara and puregone I don't know what else to do...

How is everyone doing? Even though I'm still connected to you all the same old fashioned cyber way, I miss you ladies when I can't log on and check the board 5 times a day!! Xoxoxo


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## SashimiMimi

lady luck12 said:


> SashimiMimi said:
> 
> 
> Hi All! I'm new here and could really use a buddy. I'm feeling pretty deflated after the arrival of AF this morning. I'm 30 years old, been TTC for #1 for 8 months. Anyone else in the same boat? OH is supportive but feels I'm "too focused" on this one thing. Would love to chat with other women who have been trying for a few months!
> 
> Hi :flower: sounds like your talking about me there hun. Been trying for just over 2yrs now, I'm 31 yrs old. It's only last month I've got anywhere with the help with my consultant. What about you ? xx:dust:Click to expand...

Hi lady!! Always great to find someone in the same boat. I'm turning 31 on Tuesday, and this will now be my 12th cycle. Since writing that original post in March, I've had 3 failed IUIs and am currently scheduled to have exploratory lap surgery next month. I had a really tough time dealing with the 3rd failed IUI but I feel I'm in great hands with my fertility doctor. All my other tests have come back clear, OH has super sperm according to the doc, so I'm terrified as to what the lap could reveal.

What about you? Did you recently start seeing a fertility specialist? OH and I are on vacation right now and taking a break from TTC. It's great to have a break from cycle monitoring appointments and fertility drugs, I actually feel like I can breathe for the first time in months!


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## treasured

lololol ladies ! lol at him being on top to sweat it off pino! made me giggle. ugh, my OH is just super down in the dumps and sory for himself too when hes ill! hes lovely to me when im ill though so i have to be supportive haha. but I am not willing to waste a month cause hes a bit sick!! 

lauren- I came off implant at the end of october, but i woudnt really count november as my first cycle cause it was just adjusting to coming off the hormones so i'd say we my first cycle was probably december. I wasnt using OPKS or charting OV for the first few months tho, so id say I was probs NTNP till jan/feb and then TTC in feb/march then NTNP in april and then TTC in may. haha, ive been kind of off and on! I guess I just have been expecting it to happen a bit easier than it has but to be honest I probably havent been BDing on the right days every month :(.


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## treasured

omg gals, just played the great sperm race game, my god its a mission for those little guys! took me 4 attemps just to get to the cervix! really puts it into perspective of how hard it is for them ! 

have a look its really fun :) 

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-great-sperm-race/articles/the-great-sperm-race-game 

xx


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## Pino6161

Sash--- I think you are on the right path. I don't think you are rushing at all, you are doing everything in your own time frame. I hope you are having some fun, despite the nagging worries. When do you normally O around?? cause maybe you are getting ready to? If that makes any sense?? Have lots of fun!!! :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Naturally, I think I O day 15ish. Last cycle was day 10 because of the I injections. I'm still having some pretty moderate cramps and I almost wonder if I should call my doctor before we head to Hawaii on Monday. 

Not one person has asked me about when OH and I are having kids. It's been pretty nice!


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## lxb

Welcome back treasured!!! :hugs: 

Sashimi - just enjoy your vacation. :) and get some baby making time in Hawaii! Almost time! :hugs:

Will write more later~~~ miss all you ladies!


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## SleepyOwl

I need to log on more often - I can't deal with just once a day!! 

Treasured - Isn't the Great Sperm Race so crazy?? I forced OH to watch that and then he got very into TTC after he realized what's really going on down there, lol!!

Sashimi - Maybe Pino is right - that your body is just gearing up to O? I usually get O pains a day or so before my positive OPK? Hopefully that's the case. 

Lauren - Are you planning on having that surgery to determine if you have endo or not? Is there any other way to diagnose it? 

Where's everyone in their cycle? I'm CD6 and already started having EWCM, which is REALLY weird since it's so early. Also, I feel like a reptilian freak because my face and legs are getting really dry and scaly. Plus I've developed a rash on my arm!! Very attractive I'm sure - OH gets to BD with an itchy alligator. I don't know if it's the weather or what! O


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## lxb

Hmm ... I also felt like I had ewcm too early last cycle too! I still believe 6 is your lucky number! :hugs: hehe... Itchy alligator :haha: sounds exotic! :winkwink:


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## lauren26

Sashimi - it's like waiting for Christmas :) I am already enjoying birthday weekend--are your in-laws celebrating with you at all? I bet those thoughts about the lap are going to sneak in and out--I encourage you to let them come and go, ad just not give them too much weight. You are in great hands and everything will be ok! Can't wait to hear about your trip! 

Sleepy - I had EWCM early last cycle and it lasted for like 8 days! Fx that it helps keep as many of those swimmers in there as possible. I don't know et whether my doc will recommend the lap--we haven't talked yet after the HSG which was on Fri am. But yes, te lap is the only way to diagnose endo for sure. If they find it and have to remove it, it can be risky to other reproductive tissue so I hope they don't have to! Praying praying praying that this is just my month and I can forget about all of this!


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## SashimiMimi

Sleepy I'm cd10 and also already had some watery cm, sticky cm and EWCM all in one day. I looked at my hoo haa and was like who are you?!?

I also have a rash all over my back and I think it's from going to the gym. My entire back is red itchy splotchy and bumpy. If it doesn't go away by Monday I'll be wearing a turtleneck on the beach!!


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## Pino6161

Hey all. I need some advice. I don't know if it is the new vitamins or what.... Well My period started on the 4th and technically was supposed to end on the 8th which is a normal 5 day period. Well as you remember it started out very very light, and it got a bit heavier, but not by much. I was cramping like crazy though. well my and OH BD'd Friday night (we normally do this cause to him the idea of no sex for 5 days is like taboo LOL) which was the last evening of my cycle, by this time I usually am not bleeding, it turned out I was spotting though. and so I put on a tampon , and yesterday morning there was only a little on it. Well throughout the day yesterday I was spotting a little, only when I wipe. I still have this and it is the 10th cd 7. The thing is that when I checked my cervix It is the highest I have ever felt it it, closed, and very firm. I am not sure what is going on. I have never had this before. After my 5 days I usually don't spot bleed or anything until the next cycle. Advice please?


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## treasured

the great sperm race is amazing! im going to watch the whole thing tonight! I made OH play the game today and he was like "omg they have to go through so much, how does anyone ever get pregnant?" 

i'm kinda pissed off today cause i woke up to a LOT of CM today, like EWCM more than ive ever seen before! so OH was at his parents but I called him and made him come down for a booty call lolololol! but he totally wasnt in to it and was saying he was still not feeling well and basically it failed. so im annoyed cause this would have been a perfect day, I dont know whether im ovulating early or not but I had really sore cramps on my left side earlier and obviously this CM. Im on CD 14 so would be good if I am but I hope not because that means weve missed our chance! I wish I could just save up OHs sperm in a tub and he wouldnt have to do anything. haha oh god that sounds horrid but would make life so much easier. I guess I shouldnt force it though, its somthing we should both want and if he isnt into it one day then oh well... just so agrivating that he doesnt seem as keen as he was before when we first started trying. Hes even started throwing jokes at me like why are you killing all my little guys, or its your body thats the army force blocking them.... not funny! woah, rant over hehe sorry.

how is everyone else? xxxx


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## treasured

pino- dont worry about that spotting! when I started taking b6 I spotted for like 5 days after my period ended, but it stoped the next month and went back to normal without any spoting! my AF just lasts 4 days with TINY spoting the night before so I know its coming, and then very light spotting on day 5... so you should go back to normal soon :). BUT if your cervix is high you could be ovulating super early!! its always a possiblity so you might as well get some BDing in hehe xx


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## lauren26

Pino - You definitely could be Oing early...have you POAS yet? Also, I sometimes get 'remnants' of AF, especially if we BD that soon after it's done. I had a little more show up right after my HSG, too, which was on CD7. Your AF was normal though, right? It's just this spotting after? I don't know about you but OH and I don't usually BD until CD 8 or 9 so I don't notice that stuff as much, but like I said if we BD earlier I get some leftovers. Also, my cervix stays high after AF sometimes--at least it is right now! I was starting to wonder if I'm Oing early, too, as mine is pretty high and sort of open and I've had wet CM today on CD9. Of course, I thought that last month and was wrong. Anyway, seems like a lot of us are getting confusing O signs this month!

Sashimi - Ouch! That rash sounds uncomfortable. I have one on my arms after coming home from vacation--maybe it's something about plane seats? I hope it clears up for you! Also, I meant that waiting for HAWAII is like waiting for Christmas--not the lap!

treasured - I know what you mean....I think we all assumed it would be easier! I do think that BDing on the right days is important--at least it feels that way for me. I don't typically have much EWCM; last month was the first time I had it in abundance, so I feel like I've always had to time things exactly. I was really hopeful that I would get pg right away when I started charting because the charting book author says that any 'normal healthy' couple should get pg within 3 cycles when charting or else something may be wrong....I am now questioning that after seeing so many people get pg after months and months of charting with no BFP, and also having heard that statistic so many times that if everything is perfect there is still only a 20%-30% chance each month. Great Sperm Race and seeing my itsy bitsy tubes confirmed that for me! Still, the charting has helped me learn so much that I feel it's worth it. I hope your OH changes his mind! Those sound like some hard comments to hear from him! I bet he's just going through some insecurity about not you guys not getting pg yet. That said, ouch! I'm sorry you have to deal with that, and feel free to rant at will! Lol. We've allll done it (maybe not country?? :))


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## Pino6161

So I went and got an HPT, just in case. I expected the negative because I got my period, but I worry alot, so I took one anyways. It was negative as expected, but I didn't expect how I would feel. There really are know words for the disappointment I feel. My stomach hurts so bad cause I am so upset. IDK I feel like just giving up because it is hard to feel this way month after month. I told OH I was going to buy one, and now I wish I hadn't said anything cause eI know he will be disappointed yet again. I feel like this is my fault, that the only time I get pregnant, I lose it. I know I am being selfish, and I have no reason to be upset cause me period came, but IDK, I feel the way I feel.

I really really hope that this cycle is it. I know it is stupid cause we are trying to save for a move in March and getting pregnant would be a trial while moving, but I know we can do it.

I just got off the OH and he tried to be supportive, but I could hear the disappointment in his voice, although we both knew it was going to be negative. I hate TTC it's a rollercoaster of emotions!!


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## Pino6161

Lauren, I am using the Clearblue monitor, and I am still in low fertility, and it is too early for me to be Oing I think. But I will BD tonight just in case. I call it the pity sex LOL, cause that is my OH's to solving all the problems LOL


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## lauren26

Pino! I'm so sorry. I know that feeling. I've done HPTs after AF, too, when my temp stayed high. Even when you're 99% sure it will be negative, it's still disappointing! I am with you--after everything that's already gone on this month I hope it's ours, too. I would love to get a BFP and just put the idea of a lap to rest. Anyway, I have felt like it's my fault, too, and even though OH's swimmers are super stars he insists that it's not 'all up to me'. I also want to say that there is no 'perfect time' to get pg, so don't worry about that! I have a friend here with two kids and both times they've moved in the past 3 years have been when she's 8.5 months pregnant...it was tough but they got help from friends and everything worked out great. So! Just to give you a little comfort, hopefully, there. WHEN you get your BFP you guys will figure it out! One last thing: I was briefly following a girl on here who was 20, had severe PCOS (which I know you DON'T have! :)) and who had been trying for over 2 years. Her docs basically told her to give up because she'd never get pregnant. Well, she essentially did and her and her husband BDed once during one of her 40/50 day cycles. Lo and behold, that month was her BFP month. It gave me a lot of hope for those of us who have been at it a while! I know it's hard to stay positive. We're here for you.


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## Pino6161

Thanks! It does help knowing that I am not the only one that is having issues. I hope you get you BFP before your lap. I really do believe it so so unfair for people who don't want, or can't handle children get pg and then those who try and try have so many issues. IDK it's just equally upsetting for me. I guess my emotions are all over the place especially w/ SIL's due date this month. I am going to OK for x-mas and I have a feeling that my mom will forgive my brother, and I just don't know if I can handle that unless I get my BFP before then. Selfish, yes, but they have so many issues that they haven't figured out and yet they got to have a baby their first month of trying. I mean, who lives in a 1 bedroom apartment they can't afford, and have a child. The only reason they can afford the medical bills is cause she is on her FBI daddy's insurance. IDK it's not fair, and it doesn't help that I feel he is rubbing it in my face knowing I have had 3 MC's.


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## Pino6161

Sorry, I guess I talk alot of crap about them on here, but it's really they only way I can vent about it. OH says that I just need to be supportive etc, as this is how I was toward his sister, and still am. I don't think he sees how difficult it is.


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## lauren26

Yes, well, it's always ideal to feel supportive, but sometimes you don't and that's OK! We're human and going through a difficult process. Don't beat yourself up :) I know that feeling of things being unfair. I am working so much on trusting the divine timing of everything, but it's definitely hard sometimes. My in-laws were planning on a huge, family-wide Mexico resort Christmas this year and I'm relieved that we're not doing it because I remember AF coming ON Christmas last year and thinking that I didn't know how I'd handle one more Christmas without a baby. Guess I'll find out this year! Anyway, I'm glad we're not going because baby Roy would be getting some crazy attention and with my SIL's luck she'll be pg again by then. Also, by a drunken mistake on my part all of my in-laws now know that we've been trying and as silly as it seems I feel embarrassed that we have 0 kids while SIL and BIL have 3 gorgeous little ones.


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## lauren26

PS last night my dad's GF admitted that she's been trying to be patient but has really been thinking 'Come on, Lauren!' regarding the pg stuff.... They know what we've been going through and I really think she was just trying to express her excitement. Still! So far none of our family members have pressured us. I feel for all you ladies who have that intense pressure. Since I'm the only child I feel it big time with my parents. I wanted to shout at her I'M OBVIOUSLY TRYING AS HARD AS I POSSIBLY CAN!!! But like I said, I know her intentions were benign!


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## Pino6161

I know what you mean. None of my family knows I am trying either, but it doesn't change the fact that we feel almost guilty


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## treasured

pino its fine to vent! we are here to listen and vent back haha! me and my mum are watching dear john on tv tonight and gonna eat nachos and be fatties! 

I forgot to update about my best friend that got pregnant, if anyone is even interested, it will probably just anger you all too haha! anyway she had the termination on wednesday and just had to take pills, but she said it was the most horrific pain she had ever felt and was lying on the bathroom floor for an hour. I felt so angry that she could do that to somthing that I would be so thrilled to have, but also I could tell that she felt so bad about it and was doing the right thing for her. 

I just cant wait for my chance to tell her about my buba and how im going to love it so much ! xx


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## Pino6161

Treasured... It does piss me off LOL. I am pro choice, just don't tell me if that makes any sense. You go ahead and tell your friend she has no idea what pain is until she has an involuntary MC. So frustrating, I know what you mean though by it being the best choice for her, but I kinda see it as get on the pill or close your legs!


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## treasured

oh pino EXACTLY what I feel. I HATE the fact that people know what contreception is for and by not using it its like for gods sake why be so stupid. However I feel like I should never have bothered using contraception and then maybe Id be preg by now!! so confusing :( 

OMG country- I just realised that your due date is my birthday! SO cute! i HOPE it comes exactly on time heheee xxxx


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- I know what you mean. It sucks. Being on birth control because your not ready for children, and not financially ready, then getting off of it when you are ready, and being able to conceive. Life sucks LOL


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## lauren26

treasured - I am envious of your night!! I have been trying to enjoy being a fatty on vaca and now this weekend (since my bday is tomorrow!) but the fattier I feel the harder it is to enjoy all that yummy food, lol.


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## Pino6161

Lauren-- I am sorry you are starting to really feel pressured. People don't understand that it is not easy for everyone, and that is what makes it hard. They didn't go through it, so they don't understand to the fullest


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## treasured

gals, does any one know where I can watch the full great sperm race online? its not available on channel 4 anymore :( xx


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## lauren26

I think you can watch it on YouTube in 6 parts.


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## lauren26

OH played The Great Sperm Race game and won! He was super determined, lol.


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## kimberleywats

Hi ladies- I still haven't shared my news wiv a single person I kno- 
I went out Saturday night. Was so worried some1 would kno I'm preg !! Luckily every1 was relatively drink when I got ther- so no one noticed I was drinking watered down blackcurrant instead of rose!! Haha ( I bought 2 of those 1 glass servings in the bottle) and filled them b4 I travelled down- haha!!
And while i was out drank lemonade wiv a slice and Ice and told every1 it was Malibu and lemonade- my sister insisted in getting me a drink i couldn't et out of it but luckily she messed up the order n put coke instead of lemonade- (i dnt like coke at all) so my mate frank it and I got another lemonade and slice hehe! Almost a close call hen someone nearly had a swig of my drink! ( I snatched it off him- and got really mad! Had 2 make out I was some crazy germaphobe! haha! Luckily I got out of havin any alcohol!!! Of it had somehow came up or sum1 had noticed I fully intended on telling my sis- but so pleased tru was all wasted!! :) I also pretended 2 hav a awful hangover hehe! Which meant I got some lovely dinner cooked 4 me :) x


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## Lika

Hey ladies!!! :D

I'm back from our mini-roadtrip and it was great! Both me and my hubs needed it to relax and not think about TTC all the time :) I'm a little bummed still no AF :( this whole pcos stuff is annoying :growlmad: I just want to be able to TTC again! Right now I'm in limbo :( soooo I guess I will take this time and clean the house :) On a bright note, hubby finally agreed to start saving up to move from this crappy house!!! We plan on staying in Italy another 3-4yrs and I will seriously pull all my hair out if we stay here!!! Lol
I hope y'all had a great weekend :D
I'm looking forward to reading about what y'all did ;)
Happy Monday everyone!!! :D


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## treasured

wooohoo, OH got is spermie results back and everything is fine and dandy :) his little swimmers are perfectly normal. so..... now im paranoid about what it could be thats wrong with me. but actuallly, I think it is probably down to the fact were not BDing enough.. and OH has blown me off AGAIN as hes taken and extra shift at work tonight and im working all day.... so this months chance of catching my egg are virtually gone! stupid OH. :dohh::growlmad: 

oh well... we shall see!


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## lxb

B4 I forget... Happy Birthday to Lauren & a day early Sashimi! :hugs: :hugs:


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## lauren26

Thanks, lxb!!! :hugs:


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## lxb

treasured said:


> wooohoo, OH got is spermie results back and everything is fine and dandy :) his little swimmers are perfectly normal. so..... now im paranoid about what it could be thats wrong with me. but actuallly, I think it is probably down to the fact were not BDing enough.. and OH has blown me off AGAIN as hes taken and extra shift at work tonight and im working all day.... so this months chance of catching my egg are virtually gone! stupid OH. :dohh::growlmad:
> 
> oh well... we shall see!

Great news about OH's spermies! :thumbup: Maybe try to just jump on him?? :haha:


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- Yay for healthy sperm LOL. Maybe just sit down with your OH and explain in detail how it works, if he already knows then emphasize the fact that if you dont have sex, you cant get pregnant. Its a choice thing. I had to do that with my OH as he seemed to blow it off as well. It turned out that he was having reservations about being a Dad, but after we talked and he got it all out he got much better about making time for sex. Hope he comes to his senses :hugs:

Lauren--- Happy Birthday!!! :happydance::happydance:I hope you have a great non-stressful day LOL! :hugs:

Lika--- I am glad you had a good short holiday! Try not to stress it out to much!

Kimberly--- Sorry about you situation, I would like to say something though. When you finally do tell everyone that you are prego they will remember you were drinking and give you grief about it, even if we know you werent. Lets all hope they were all too drunk :haha:LOL :hugs: GL


So the spotting is gone today, which is a relief. I accidentally slept through my alarm clock:sleep:, so I didn't take my BBT until 8AM 2 hours later than normal:blush:, and it seems very high and I know I didn't ovulate cause my monitor is still on low fertility. I don't know if I should scrap it though. Anyone have advice?:dohh:

In another note I weighed myself and am down to 229.6lbs. I am very excited, as I started at 237.2 so I am down 7.6 lbs so far:happydance:. It is going alot slower than I thought, but it is better than nothing:shrug:

I am also doing very well with the cigarrettes, I haven't been smoking except every now and then when OH is home. I had a couple yesterday as some of the coworkers came over and hung out. They are very big drinkers like 2 beers in 15 minutes type of thing. I don't like beer, and I don't drink during my cycle at all, so I kept pouring the ones they handed me down OH's throat LOL. He told me he didn't want to waste it, or hurt their feelings LOL. So I pretended to drink, and smoked instead. The only reason we did not just turn it down flat as these 2 do not take no for an asnwer, and they push and push until you drink. They are both alcoholics so every paycheck we go through the same thing:nope:.


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## lxb

Pino - great job on your weight loss!! 7.6 lbs is great result~ it's a great start! It's great about your cigarettes process too. Keep up the good work and eventually cut it out of your life :thumbup:

Lika - Happy Monday to you too! It's great little getaway for you & your hubby. Relax and take your mind off ttc for just a bit. :thumbup:


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## kimberleywats

I never thought of that!! They think I drank a lot!! Oh no


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## treasured

awww happy birthday lauren! :happydance: are you doing anything nice today/night?

pino- sorry i dont know much about temping but im glad that your spotting is gone! told you it was nothing :) well done on the cigs and weight you are doing super well ! hehe. 

I think im gonna have to try to jump OH tonight after his work! i dont care what time it is haha.I have noticed SO much more CM - especially EWCM so im pretty sure im Oing soon or have done already! its the first time ive really noticed CM so im kinda happy. does anyone know why I would randomly get an increase in CM after my long cycle? 

Thanks :) xxxx


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## countrygirl86

Whew, made it through all the pages! You ladies are so good to each other and me!

lxb - Happy Sweet Pea :) lol @ exotic itchy alligator :haha:

lauren - HAPPY BIRTHDAY :cake: So glad to hear about your tubes! Huge relief! lol @ OH when he's sick! At least you get some then, if mine is sick I'm SOL! Though lately he's been very unsick if you know what I mean ;) haha thanks for saying I don't rant! Doubtful! Hopefully your family offers support now knowing what you are doing and going through. I'm sure your dad's gf meant it in the nicest way, for people who haven't struggled it SHOULD be just as easy as deciding to get pg! My own mother gave me a line like that though she doesn't know we'd been TTC.

Pino - hoping this is your month :thumbup: I'm sure you could find a way to make the move work if it wasn't but you and OH have to do what works for you guys. You are doing amazing with the weight loss! It must feel so good knowing you are kicking butt and getting great results! I agree with lauren, it sounds like just some leftover. Sorry about seeing the BFN. I did that to myself a few months ago, knowing it would be negative but seeing it tore my heart open still. Well done with the smoking too! 

treasured - glad you are back! Funny how some little kids just get to ya. That has happened to me before, just the way they looked at me had me all flustered and teary lol Thanks for the congrats, I'm doing well thanks! Your O is close, hope you catch it this time around! I had a quick try at that game, it's really difficult! How awful about your friend and her abortion. Must be very difficult for you. WOOHOO Happy Birthday treasured and little sweet pea! I watched GSR all in one youtube episode! Glad to hear OHs spermies are good! A relief that you know that at least. 

Sashimi - Hope you had an awesome time in BC! Onto Hawaii! Excited to hear all about it when you get back. I'm glad you are able to update us a bit at a time though! Hope you are getting in some great vacation BDing! How long does the lap take? July 10 is a while away right now though I'm sure it will creep up quickly for you. Boo for the rash but I have faith it will disappear soon.

Sleepy - how was your weekend? Did you have a rest from BnB?

Lika - nice to hear you had a good mini roadtrip :) How do you like living in Italy? What's wrong with the house?

kimberley - good job keeping it to yourself! It's tough but you can do it!

My dating scan is tomorrow. I should be 6w1d but had a 3+ on a digital at 16dpo so I think I might be a couple of days ahead. Hoping to see a little something and hear a little heartbeat :blush:


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## Pino6161

Jump him lol:haha:. I told you to do that yesterday:haha: LOL JK. Are you taking any new vitamins, or just doing anything differently? YAAAAAAYYYYY for EWCM:happydance: I have never gotten EWCM in large amounts so I am hoping this cycle is different:blush:.


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## treasured

country - thanks for encouragement hehe :) yep i am really glad that OHs sperm are fine, he didnt seem suprised haha! but then again now im worrying what is wrong with me! ahh. i hope I have my BFP before my birthday but if not I will be so excited to share it with your little bean!! 

pino- hehe since when did the women have to do the work! i thought men were supposed to be sex obsessed! i am actually not doing anything differently this month, althought while on holiday i did drink a hell of a lot of water and juice, so it might actually jut be cause I increased my liquid intake! a lot of info says that simply just drinkin alot of water can give you more CM. i was quite suprised to see it actually :). so yeah just try to drink like 4 glasses of water a day? that will also help with your weight loss cause it will fill you up so you dont eat :) xxxxxx


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## lauren26

treasured and pino - Thanks!! I had some friends over and we made bacon, eggs, and brioche french toast--yummm!!! Also, my dad and his GF were up this weekend for my birthday and we did some mini golf (lol) and went to a Neapolitan pizza place here in Boulder--it's CRAZY good. The owner studied in Northern Italy and runs the most expensive joint in town (which not even our parents could afford to take us to! $500 bottle of wine type place...). It was amazing and we had tons of fun with them. Tonight I'm doing a happy hour at my fave place with a friend. So! It was a good birthday weekend leading up to a great birthday, and the breakfast friends are throwing me a game night bbq this coming weekend. Living the good life! Lol. My family and friends love celebrating.

Pino - Congrats on the weight loss!! I totally understand how hard it can be to kick bad habits when you're environment encourages them....the only times I've been able to stick to stuff like that have been when there's something on the line. That makes it so much easier! Anyway, you are doing great.

How is everyone else?? Sashimi, hope you're landing safely in Hawaii today!

country - Thanks!!! We ladies are really good to each other :hugs:. Maybe I just can't recall any of your rants....though I think it's just that you don't have any! Lol. I always think of you as someone whose had plenty to rant about but has stayed strong and positive. Which is not to say that us ranters aren't strong! But you know what I mean :) You and DH's history and BFP continue to inspire me! My family is pretty supportive. My SIL has been sweet as PIE to me since she found out we're struggling with this. She wrote me such a nice bday text very early this morning. Anyway, yes, I think family members just don't get it when they've had an easy time of getting pg. My dad's GF never had kids, and is really excited for our kids to come, so I think that's where the comment came from.


----------



## Pino6161

Treasured-- I am drinking a lot more water than that this month. I have to have at least half a gallon a day for my diet pills, but I drink a lot more than that cause it keeps me from smoking. Me and OH have gone through5 gallons in 2 days and he is only home in the evenings, so it's mostly me, and I have to pee like crazy cause of it LOL. I am not allowed to have juice. I am allowed to have milk, but I don't cause it gives me really bad acid reflex.


----------



## treasured

ohhh lauren that sounds so much fun your friends and family sound amazing! my friends are too lazy to organise good things liek that haha its always up to me! 

pino- thats good that your drinking loads, its so cold over here that I dont really feel like drinking much but I am gonna try to more often now! 

x


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## Pino6161

treasured-- I will trade you!! It is hot as heck over here LOL


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## Pino6161

Kimberley-- I didn't mean to scare you, I was just imagining what I would be thinking LOL


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## haribo813

Happy happy birthday Lauren and to you Sashimi for tomorrow! Enjoy!

Quick question from me: I'm on CD18 but pretty sure am O'ing tonight (OPks and temps). Should I still go and have 2nd round of blood tests on CD21? I've heard that they say CD21 as assume you O on CD14 but as O'ed late, worried it won't show the right progesterone levels if I go on CD21, was thinking more like going a week from today so on CD25. Any thoughts?

Thanks so much, I keep going round in circles on this one!
xxx


----------



## treasured

ohhh happy birthday sash for tomorow too! everyone is celebrating hehe. 

haribo- I dont know much about the whole progesterone thing, BUT i would assume that if they give you a specific date (given that you O on 14) then I would wait that long from when you actually O. Progesterone builds up after O i think so the readings would be lower than perhaps you would expect if you dont leave enough time after O? If progestrone appears straight after O then it wouldnt be a problem... hmm I may just be talking rubbish haha. Maybe it would be best to give the docs a call tomorow just to check with them, cause you dont want false results and there is no point wasting time getting tested if its too early anyway? 

Also, can I ask.. How long have you guys been TTC before you enquired about tests? also cause your in the UK is it all free on NHS or are you seing a specialist? thanks love :) xxxxx


----------



## lxb

lauren26 said:


> OH played The Great Sperm Race game and won! He was super determined, lol.

I hope his little guys are taking notes!!! :haha: :haha:

Haribo - Sorry, I can't be much of a help. I'm not an expert with progesterone either and I agree with treasured. Perhaps you should give the docs a call?


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## SleepyOwl

Happy Birthday Lauren!! Had to make sure I got that in there before the day was over. Hope your day was wonderful!!


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## lauren26

haribo - The progesterone test is at day 21 because many women don't chart and docs have to average O day as day 14. Really, though, you should get it done at 7dpo, whatever day that falls on. If you are CD18 now then get it done at CD25. I would still call the doc to confirm that, but that's what my doctor told me.

treasured - I sought help and testing after 5 cycles but didn't actually get any help or testing until last month, which was cycle 11 for me. That was just due to having a lazy doc, lol. 

Sashimi - Happy Birthday!!! I hope you're having an amazing time already. 

Sleepy - Thanks!! It was a nice birthday :)


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - Just went back and read all the posts. Sounds like your birthday was great!! That pizza place sounds amazing. Makes me want a pizza right now!! 

Sashimi - Happy Birthday!!! Have fun in Hawaii girl!!

Treasured - Hope you got to jump OH when he got home! I hate when I can't get a BD in and I have tons of EWCM. Seems like a huge waste!! My OH isn't really "sex-obsessed" either. He has no problem saying he's exhausted if he's been working too hard. We had some serious problems in Feb and March, but it's gotten better as his workload has decreased! As for asking for tests and what not - this is my 6th cycle and OH is getting his SA done in the next two weeks. If I don't get a BFP this cycle, I think I'll ask my doctor aka be very persistent and insist on tests. My main concern is that my sister took 3 years to get pregnant and I really don't know if I have the patience and strength to wait that long. 

Pino - Great job on the cigarettes and weight loss!!! You are doing so well girl!

Kimberly - It must be so hard keeping this secret to yourself, but you are doing a good job. Hopefully you'll be able to tell people soon!!

Country - Yes I had a nice break this weekend from TTC and BnB - of course I missed all you ladies, lol! I can't wait for your scan tomorrow to see how far along you are! Hopefully there's a little heartbeat or something to see - clearly I have no idea about what goes on at these things and when things can be seen, but here's hoping for something good for ya!!

Lika - Glad you enjoyed your road trip!! Those are always so fun. And yay for saving for a new house. Exciting!! Where are you from originally - I'm assuming not Italy? 

Haribo - I have absolutely no clue about progesterone, so not really much of a help here :X 

Started SMEP this morning. My plans to kick off the SMEPing this weekend were thwarted by one too many beers on my part. Whoopsie! At least we are on track for now though. I was telling OH about you all today and he kept asking to see what I wrote about him lol. He is so funny about TTC now - he was very eager this morning as it was CD8. Glad he's into it, but he better not try to become a BnB regular, lol!!!


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## lauren26

Happy Birthday, Sashimi!


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## kimberleywats

Hey u.k ladies! Women who r requiring preg tests - clearblue are currently running studies on a new test- they would like women 2 test them, send them the test and feedback etc- they supply tests and everything ull need- 
Jus pop onto the clearblue website and it should b on ther

I had my call back 2day and qualify 4 the study :) 
( u also get a complimentary test that u can keep)


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## Pino6161

Happy Birthday SashimiMimi :hugs:


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## countrygirl86

Happy Birthday Sashimi! Enjoy your day :)

lauren - I do know what you mean. I don't like to complain :blush: So good to hear your family is dealing well with the news. There's always the fear they could turn into "well have you tried this" and "my friend said to do that" and such lol When you get your BFP very soon, it'll be nice for your Dad's gf to share in that with you since she hasn't experienced it!

Pino - sounds like a tough diet, but like they say no pain no gain! Or loss in your case lol

haribo - sorry sweetie but I can't be of any help with your question other than to say what the other girls did, call your doctor. 

Sleepy - don't worry, I'm learning as I go what's going on and what to expect! Yeehaw SMEP!

My scan went well, good heartbeat and I got three pictures of the little sweet pea in there. Plus they moved my due date up a day :) All around a great day!


----------



## SleepyOwl

So quiet on here today!! How is everyone doing?! 

Got an invite for our friend's baby shower (I think I mentioned it on this thread before - she was trying to keep it hidden but had a huge bump). Luckily it's the week of our family vacation so I'll be out of town. I feel like a bad person not wanting to go, but I felt seriously depressed when I got the invite. I already emailed her and let her know and she totally understood, but I feel like she knows the real deal.


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## Pino6161

Sleepy-- I wouldn't worry about what she thinks, or if you think she knows.How you feel about it is what matters. At least you have a good excuse though.

I am doing well. OH did one of my work out videos with me and was a big baby about it, so I will work out solo from now on, cause it kinda brings me down.

I just made dinner. Chicken for me, steak for OH w/ corn and a side salad. Yummy!!


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## SleepyOwl

Lol Pino! OH and I can't work out together either. We always end up getting into a fight! Some things are better done on our own for sure!


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## Pino6161

LOL I did get really frustrated at him, but he was all into doing it together. It didn't work out cause he complained the whole time and kept giving me "the look". I got irritated. Besides as much as I love him I am all about form (I grew up being in dance) LOL and he looks like a flailing fish. It was so cute in a way. I do give him credit though cause he really tried, and although I know he wanted to give up, he didn't


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## lauren26

Mmmm that dinner sounds good, Pino!! Sleepy, don't worry about her knowing. I just turned down a request to watch a former co-worker's toddler for a few hours this week. I just can't be around someone's beautiful baby a week after having the I-might-not-be-able-to-have-kids scare. I'm kind of over it now but I just wanted to give myself some space...I bet your friend understands, and if not, who cares! Like Pino said :) TTC is so hard for people to understand who haven't been through it. It's totally OK to protect yourself and avoid situations that feel like too much. It is convenient that you have a family thing, though. And you're not a bad person!


----------



## Pino6161

How are you doing Lauren? I really am sorry about your scare, but I really do have hope for you!!! I look at it this was. Dr's told me I have unexplained fertility, which means I can't get pregnant and they don't know why, yet I have had 3 MC's which means I can. It makes me feel better thinking the Dr's are full of shit LOL. I guess what i am trying to say, is no matter what don't give up hope, cause some way, some day we will all be able to reach what we need to. I say need because I know me personally am way past the wanting phase. I don't feel like I am complete, like I am missing part of me to make my life fulfilled. So I can't believe what they dr's tell me, I can't give up. I can only try my best to defy their reasons if that makes any sense.


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## Jojono2

hi, if anyone could be of any help would be sooo grateful!!!

I have pcos and irregular periods that can range from 34-87 days!!! over the last 3-4 months they have become more regular, 38, 34, 35 days, last month we used the clearblue fertility monitor, i got high readings from cd16-26, no peak! anyway I am now on cd45 and no sign of period, if i did ovulate surely i was due on around cd40? just dont want to test cause im sooo fed up of bfns and just dont think it will be positive


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## Lika

Jojono2 said:


> hi, if anyone could be of any help would be sooo grateful!!!
> 
> I have pcos and irregular periods that can range from 34-87 days!!! over the last 3-4 months they have become more regular, 38, 34, 35 days, last month we used the clearblue fertility monitor, i got high readings from cd16-26, no peak! anyway I am now on cd45 and no sign of period, if i did ovulate surely i was due on around cd40? just dont want to test cause im sooo fed up of bfns and just dont think it will be positive

Hi there Jojono!!! :wave:
For what I understand the fertility monitor detects a LH surge, meaning your body is gearing up for O, but for reasons unknown sometimes we don't, specially gals like us who suffer from pcos. Also if you have cysts in your ovaries, they constantly release the hormone so fertility monitor and opks are not always accurate. BUT I hope it's NOT your case and you get your :bfp: !!!!
This whole pcos stuff is driving me bonkers! Going on 2 months without a period :( I have my fxd this is your month!!!

Hey ladies!!! Back from my trip and now in cleaning mode!!! Im trying to keep busy while AF doesn't come and I'm in this limbo :( I seriously thought with met I would get my period but nope!!! Upping the dosage to 1000my tomorrow! Hope that works! Also my DH goes in for sperm analysis tomorrow! Hopefully his :spermy: are fine!!! Fxd!
I will be back in a jiffy ;)
Happy Wednesday ladies!!! :flower:


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## lauren26

Thanks, Pino. I'm feeling OK. My BF here keeps telling me "I KNOW you're meant to have kids naturally" (vs adopting), and I'm starting to believe her. Honestly, I was very willing and ready to accept that I wouldn't be able to (not excited about it OBV lol but like I said, I thought, at least I'm not accepting that I have cancer or something!), and I've gotten all of these messages since then that I am meant to have kids. I kind of feel like a pendulum swinging between total optimism and the belief that it'll never happen. I think the difference between how I feel now and how I felt before my trip is just that I'm completely trusting in whatever happens! It helped that lxb and country got their BFPs--it was sort of a shock to read that, ladies! We've all been on here not getting BFPs for a few months and it was a great reality check--that it'll happen!! I DO feel like it'll happen for me but like I said, if it doesn't then I'm committed to trusting that it's all part of the greater plan for my life! Plus, that JCPenny gay dads advertisement with those adorable adopted kids touched my heart (I know they were hired models and not a real family, but still!). It made me feel that if adoption ends up being our only answer that it'll be OK. Still, hoping that's not the only option!


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## lauren26

So I wasn't going to do OPKs at all since I wanted to back off of that before the HSG, but doc said I had to so here is today's. It looks like half the line is as dark as the control--not quite + or + enough? My CP and CM feel like I'm Oing today, it's just so early!

https://i1263.photobucket.com/albums/ii633/laurendartt/Untitled-3.jpg


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## kimberleywats

Hey apparently on my last preg I o'd cycle day 8!! As my baby measured a week older than my edd by lmp- 
Never rule out early o!


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## lxb

Lika - FX for good news for DH's SA! Happy Wednesday!

Lauren - :haha: @ JCPenny gay dads. We're all human and ttc is definitely an emotional roller coaster. I still believe your time will come and adoption won't be the only option for you. Ah, our body is definitely tricky! Sometimes we don't O at the time we think we will~~ So get some BD in!! :dance: Your OPK looks + enough to me~ But I don't have much experience with those lines as I use one of those OPK kit for dummies~ (Clearblue digital that shows either a blank circle or a smiley face) it fits me so well~ :haha:


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- It looks positive to me!! Get to BDing!! FX! :hugs:


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## treasured

lauren id say that was deffinately positive hehe. get bumpin n grindin :D. 

im feeling really ill today :( exteme cold symptoms and feel exhausted :(. Im wondering if cold symptoms can be a sign of OV cause I seem to get ill most months at around the same time :\. 

gotta work tonight woohoo... wish I was snuggling up with a duvet and a hot chocolate :(. 

how is everyone else ? xxx


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- Sorry your not feeling well. It can be a sign of O which sucks though, cause who is in the mood to BD when they are sick?

I am not feeling good either. I had an extreme migraine, and my knee is really sore cause I did my video twice yesterday, and I overdid it.


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## lauren26

lxb - Hilarious. I need one of those just to take my obsessive guess work out of the equations! Thank you for saying that about the adoption, too. I think you're right. Only time will tell but I'm just going to keep hoping and praying for that BFP until then! For the record, I love gay dads!!! Lol. And gay men for that matter. How are you today??

Kimberly - Yay for early O! Lol. I hate waiting to O! I guess my temps tomorrow will tell me for sure. 

Pino - Yes!! OH will be delighted, lol...He already knows that BD is on the schedule. Maybe I won't tell him it's O time just for fun.


----------



## countrygirl86

Sleepy - it worked out perfectly for that shower so I wouldn't worry.

Pino - that dinner sounded yum! Most men aren't coordinated enough for those videos! Good for him for trying though, it always warms my heart when they make an effort :) Hope your migraine clears soon. They are the pits!

Lika - fx for your OHs test!

Lauren - I agree with your friend, I KNOW you are meant to have your own too, it's just going to come when it wants to, not when you want to. Your OPK looks perfectly positive to me! 

treasured - sorry to hear you aren't well. Your duvet and hot chocolate sound lovely to me too, could you send some here?

I ordered a prenatal yoga dvd and it came in today! I'm excited to try it but afraid it might be a bit mild for me at this stage. I haven't done yoga in years though so it might be a stretch (get it, yoga, stretch? lol :dohh:). I can't do things like that with DH around cause he tends to roll his eyes and make comments. In other news I have a bachelorette this weekend for a wedding I'm the MOH in the following weekend! My excuse for not drinking will be 'antibiotics' cause there's no driving necessary. I think for the wedding I will just fake drinking, it'll be easier! My summer holidays start in a month today :) Anyone else have summer holiday plans?


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## lxb

Country - I looked up prenatal yoga yesterday! Let me know if you like/dislike it :)


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## kimberleywats

4 me I thought I wasnt guna get preg- as we missed our "predicted ov" by over a week!! Dint bd at all thru The duration i would have isually thought id ov-Thought ther was no way I was preg that month( strangely, that was the only month I had no symptoms) the previous 6 months I had every symptom under the sun!! Proving that my "symptoms" wer all in my head!!! Prob don't help that I was man-handling my boobies every day in previous months, to c if they hurt at all- lol as I knew that was an early symptom!


----------



## haribo813

Hi everyone, I am struggling to keep up as am only person in world without a smart phone so can only check messages at home and as I'm running so many events in the evenings I am not home very much at the mo!

Treasured, I am in the UK and in answer to your question re TTC, I had 9 cycles before I went to see someon on my 10th. I went because I had discomfort on my left hand side low down-looking back I think it was me being neurotic but she booked me in for a pelvic scan which was great and came back clear. I then went in and asked for blood tests, the nurse I saw was fine about that-especially when I told her OH's sperm test all fine. I'm doing all of it through NHS and not seeing a specialist and they have been really helpful, I couldn't have asked for anything more. I am also saving my pennies for acupuncture instead which is going well! Definitely worth going and asking-you may get lucky-I knew that they normally ask it is a year but no harm in asking-although I am 30 and think they expect you to try for 2 years before going to them but go anyway-what do you have to lose?

I think I'll change my CD21 blood tests to 7 days after O so thanks for everyone's help.
xxx


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## lxb

Haribo - :haha: U'r not alone~~ I don't have a smart phone either. I sit in front of the computer all day~~ So I'm more up to date~ :thumbup:


----------



## Pino6161

LOL I used to use my phone for everything, but my OH bought me a laptop for Christmas last year, and now I am truely obsessed LOL


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## lauren26

I have a smart phone but I hate doing BnB on it!! It takes so much time. I always get on after BD to check BnB...Is that weird? Lol. 

Thanks, country!! That is very encouraging. :) Prenatal yoga sounds awesome and I hear it can help with labor!

kimberly - LOL on the manhandling!!! Were you guys trying before the month you got pg?

haribo - Good plan with changing your test! I hope it goes well and it's great that everything else has checked out all clear.


----------



## SleepyOwl

Lika - I hope the SA goes well and that all the results are good!! How long does it take to get the results back normally? 

Lauren - Laughing so hard at the JC Penny ad comment - love those ads! I too love gay men - I somehow make best friends with them at every job I've ever had. It's the best! I'm glad your back to the optimistic side of TTC and think that you are going to get your BFP before you know it! Keep hope alive girlfriend!! Your OPK looks + enough to me. I don't think it's too early though - CD12 so you would prob O CD13 or CD14 right? That's usually right around when I O. 

Pino, Treasured - Sorry you two aren't feeling well. That's no good!! Any improvements as the day went on?

Country - Antibiotics sound like the perfect excuse! We have family vacation at the end of July for a week and I can't wait!! I loove spending time with our fam especially when we are all together. Can't wait! Do you have anything special planned for your holiday?


----------



## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> I have a smart phone but I hate doing BnB on it!! It takes so much time. I always get on after BD to check BnB...Is that weird? Lol.

Ummm, if that's weird, then I'm weird with you. Literally I shove a pillow under my hips then grab my phone off the night stand and get on BnB and update my FF. OH usually passes out and snores his life away, but I spend about 20 minutes just stalking and what not.


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## lauren26

LOL. Exactly. Maybe we all do that? :)


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## lxb

:haha: I think so!! Cuz me too!


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## kimberleywats

Lauren26- me and oh wer tryin constantly for9 mnths- but the 1st 2 we were more ntnp- 
This pregnancy we dint try at all we was happy wiv what we got- but I messed up my contraceptive/missed a few pills here n ther- was supposed 2 b gettin the implanon implant put in nxt fri!! Any baby is a blessing tho- jus a complete shock!!!! As I kinda thought as it took so long wiv theo, that I wouldn't jus get preg like that- ther is only guna b a gap of 17mnths and I started work again 3 mnths ago!!! Guna have 2 quit my job!! Cos not sure I wana go back 3 work wiv a17mnth and a newborn! 
So much 2 consider!!!


----------



## Lika

SleepyOwl said:


> Lika - I hope the SA goes well and that all the results are good!! How long does it take to get the results back normally?
> 
> Lauren - Laughing so hard at the JC Penny ad comment - love those ads! I too love gay men - I somehow make best friends with them at every job I've ever had. It's the best! I'm glad your back to the optimistic side of TTC and think that you are going to get your BFP before you know it! Keep hope alive girlfriend!! Your OPK looks + enough to me. I don't think it's too early though - CD12 so you would prob O CD13 or CD14 right? That's usually right around when I O.
> 
> Pino, Treasured - Sorry you two aren't feeling well. That's no good!! Any improvements as the day went on?
> 
> Country - Antibiotics sound like the perfect excuse! We have family vacation at the end of July for a week and I can't wait!! I loove spending time with our fam especially when we are all together. Can't wait! Do you have anything special planned for your holiday?


Sleepy- we were told the test takes 2hrs to yield results, soooo in about 10-15 minutes we shall know :D I think I'm more nervous than DH, I'm here thinking "please please please let his :spermy: be okay" because if not, things just got a whole lot harder! Me with pcos and his :spermy: not good is not a good sign... But I have faith all will come back normal!!!!
Ha! Ladies! I'm a HUGE bnb addict!!! I log in from my iPod and literally I keep checking all day! DH thinks is good if it means I get support and don't get depressed, so it's a win-win scenario ;)
Since our TTC is on indefinite break- or until AF decide to pay me visit, I've been mad cleaning my house and just scored a 50' plasma tv for $250, which is being delivered to our house this weekend :) I told DH is going to our bedroom, I love love love watching tv in bed lol, he kind of chuckled and agreed to it, we will have a 32' in the living room lol
I know it's so not TTC, but I can't really do much till my cycle regulate :( I had sooooooo much hope for metformin but so far nothing has happened...sighhhhh gotta keep my head high, but sometimes is SO hard!!!
Anyways, sending loads of :dust: your way ladies :)
Happy Thursday! :hug:


----------



## kimberleywats

Hey ladies my cb digi w/ci days i 3+???
I should only b 1-2 !???? If my lmp was 14th may then I'm only 2days past late period?? (29 day cycle) what's going on?? How can I be over 5wks?? The test only measures up 2 5+? I'm a lil worrrrrried! Read it's a good indicator of multiples


----------



## Lika

Uh-oh! Hope it's not multiples... Unless that's what you want :)
I'm a sucker at interpreting stuff, all my other pg when I got a bfp I would go to the dr the same day to get the ball rolling on visits, us and stuff...
Do you have a dr appt? Usually they have a us machine in the office and they would be able to tell you if it's a singleton or multiple :)

Still no result, mostly because DH has been crazy busy today and don't have time to go to the clinic, lucky he works within walking distance lol I tell ya, the military is not like it used to be :( but can't complain :) 
Hope all you ladies are doing good :D as soon as DH goes back and get the result I will let y'all know ;) lol


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## kimberleywats

Our docs won't c me til 8weeks- and then they jus do routine tests 4 blood sugar- white cell count liver functions etc/ I won't b scanned until 12wk/ so unless the midwife can "feel" note than one in ther- then I ain't guna kno 4 ages!! uK docs r iseless


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## kimberleywats

I dnt kno how I feel bout multiples- I kno it's hard work!! Lol really not fancyin twins!!! I'd b happy wiv jus one


----------



## kimberleywats

God won't give me more than I can hamdle


----------



## preg_pilot

kimberleywats said:


> Hey ladies my cb digi w/ci days i 3+???
> I should only b 1-2 !???? If my lmp was 14th may then I'm only 2days past late period?? (29 day cycle) what's going on?? How can I be over 5wks?? The test only measures up 2 5+? I'm a lil worrrrrried! Read it's a good indicator of multiples

If you´re 2 days past your expected period, that would mean that you´re just over 4 weeks pregnant, even if you ovulated only 2 weeks ago.


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## Lika

Phew!!! Hubby's sa results came out and he's fine!!! One less thing to worry about! :D

Kimberly, preg_pilot is right :) I forgot that they consider the last day of your period your 1st day of pregnancy soooo it could be a good 2-4 weeks before you find out, which would put you at 4-5 weeks preggers :) does that make sense? lol
I'm about to take a nap, phew! It's such a relief to know very thing is good to go on hubby's side lol. Today I started 1000mg of met so fxd something happens! Being in this limbo is no fun :(
:hugs: to all the wonderful ladies :)


----------



## lauren26

Kimberly - Wow!!! Love the unexpected blessing, though hope for your sake that there's only one in there! :) 

lxb and Sleepy - .....glad to know I'm not the only one!! LOL.

Charting/OPK question: So I was sort of doubting the strength of my OPK and did another this AM and it was much, much darker, but my temp is way up! Could it be detecting yesterday's surge since the body metabolizes LH only at a certain time of day? My CP is still sort of O-ish, but my temp rose way up. Hm.


----------



## lauren26

Lika - That's great news!!! Fx that the metformin does its work :)


----------



## Pino6161

Lauren--- Maybe it is detecting yesterday's surge? Or I have seen a couple people's charts that the temp rises day of O and then rises more day after. I'm not to sure. You shouold BD today though just in case !! Good Luck :hugs:


----------



## lauren26

Thanks, Pino!

So I didn't write this yesterday but I had to call my new doc yet again, and talked to the nurse I don't particularly prefer. She basically wouldn't let me bask in the excitement of a clear HSG at all before mentioning that there is an 'indentation' in the side of my uterus that the doc will want to look at and feels concerned about....and she kept mentioning that because we had 'financial' difficulties that there was no point in seeing the doc or getting on progesterone. I was like, Hang on! I didn't want to pay for a test that was $500-$2000, but a doctor's visit is fine! I feel like every time I talk to this one nurse she almost intentionally dashes my hopes. I think my lesson here is to nip it in the bud and insist on not talking to her and only talking to the doctor or the sweet nurse. I have learned my lesson after my unhelpful OB! I wanted to share with you guys because I feel like it's been such a crazy rollercoaster for me these past couple of weeks with all of this information and tests etc and I just feel bound and determined at this point not to give science and mean nurses the upper hand, no matter what the result or outcome of all of these tests and investigations! That's all for now...had to rant it out. And I'm feeling good about my BFP coming when it's good and ready :)


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## Pino6161

The nurse sounds like an ASS. Don't talk to her, and be rude right back (sorry I am not the better person) There is no reason for her to put you down, especially about finances. It is not right, and none of her business at that. And yes you didn't want to do it partly cause of the money, but you also want to try without it. That pisses me off, she has horrible patient care!!!!! To sit there and tell you to pretty much just stop is unthinkable. Don't listen to her, and call her out on her shit next time, and say you want another nurse or the Dr. Wow that really made me mad!!!

Don't give up!! Your time will come!! :hugs:


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## lauren26

LOL Pino!!! That was pretty much my BF's response, too!! I have some weird karma with doctors, I think. But I know that my lesson is to not take any of the negativity!! Thanks for the support. I feel OK about it just had to vent it on here, lol. I will NOT be giving up and will only be talking to Ginger from now on (good nurse!). She is always the one who's like, 'Please don't lose any sleep over any of this, I'm so sorry you feel scared, there's nothing to worry about' etc etc. Love her. Yes, I'm totally not giving up! Screw science, lol!


----------



## treasured

lauren- that nurse sounds like a total BUM. totally just get rid of her and only speak to people you feel comfortale. Im so happy your feeling positive about it though and keeping your chin up! your BFP is coming! :)

OMG you guys, most of you are from USA right so... Im watching this programme called man VS food, and I am shocked/ so so so jealous of you guys food over there. So this guy has a sandwich, with 5 steaks, 6 chicken fingers, 17 slices of chese, 6 chese burgers, and wait for it..... MAC & CHEESE . WTF. im coming to visit because I WANT this. Have you guys heard of salty dog? if it is near you guys im coming to eat hehe. 
Pino- you saw my bacon nachos... thats just about as good as I can do :( xxxx


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## treasured

lauren- that nurse sounds like a total BUM. totally just get rid of her and only speak to people you feel comfortale. Im so happy your feeling positive about it though and keeping your chin up! your BFP is coming! :)

OMG you guys, most of you are from USA right so... Im watching this programme called man VS food, and I am shocked/ so so so jealous of you guys food over there. So this guy has a sandwich, with 5 steaks, 6 chicken fingers, 17 slices of chese, 6 chese burgers, and wait for it..... MAC & CHEESE . WTF. im coming to visit because I WANT this. Have you guys heard of salty dog? if it is near you guys im coming to eat hehe. 
Pino- you saw my bacon nachos... thats just about as good as I can do :( xxxx


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## lauren26

treasured - Man v Food is a scary and wonderful show, lol! We do have some very naughty, delicious food over here :)


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## Pino6161

I love that show LOL It makes me so jealous and hungry LOL. It makes me want to explore the world just to eat :haha: I have to idea how that guy is not hella fat LOL


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Ladies! Wow, so many pages to catch up on. We are having a wonderful time here in Hawaii and seriously do not want this trip to end. Our room is right on the ocean, we have spent two days on the beach and right now OH is golfing for the morning. In terms of BD, we are actually relaxing and having fun!!! It's so nice not to have to worry about fertility appointments and the stress associated with it. I have a lot of EWCM so I used an OPK this morning and sure enough I had two dark lines. I won't hold my breath for a BFP, but will just appreciate being here and connecting with OH!

I'm also enjoying doing a lot of things I couldn't do with a BFP: drinking fun Hawaiian cocktails and mojitos, eating what ever I want, going in the hot tub, and tomorrow and saturday we have our helicopter tour and zodiac boat sea caves tour!! I also got a Brazilian for the first time in my life before coming on th trip. I figured if I could endure all those invasive and uncomfortable procedures at the clinic, then I could do a Brazilian!! It was very liberating!!

Lauren there is a nurse at my clinic I can't stand because she is too cheerful and I blame her for the reason I got upset over my last bffn!!! Normally you can tell by the nurses tone it's going to be negative but this one was like I have your results!!!!!! And guess what!!!???? It's....drum roll...negative!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!

She called me again when I had a question about my lap in July and was also overly cheerful. I'm like why are you so thrilled about a surgery I don't want to have? I was thinking of mentioning it to the office manager, she is new and I don't think she gets the emotions that are involved. So I don't know what's worse, your mean nurse or my cheerful in the wrong situations nurse?!?

So there are a few 40+ pregnant women at my hotel... And I actually don't find it's bothering me. I did have a minute of self pity, but I'm just really trying to appreciate whati have in my life as opposed to what I don't have. I'm with you Lauren, these BFPs are going to come in their own time for us. I'm almost considering putting off my lap and trying to work with my naturopath for a bit before doing something so extreme. 

Thank you for all the birthday wishes everyone. I had a great day!! 

Lxb how did you and OH ever leave Kauai!!! It's amazing here!!!!


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## kimberleywats

Thanx guys a baby is a blessing- werher it's expected or not :) 
Twins wouldn't b brilliant- although everyone must think " that seems cool" at one point haha one of my friends 1st turned out 2 b twins- and she looked scared from the day she found out she had more than one!!! ( she still looks scared now) and her boys r nearly 10!! She has ID twins!!! And she admits that sometimes she can't tell them apart- (especially if she can't c the chicken pox scar which only one has on ther face) crazy!!


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## Lika

Sashimi I'm soooooo jealous of you!!! Hawaii sounds amazing!!!
Hopefully sometime before hubs retire we will make our way there :D right now I'm living in Northern Italy, very close to Venice(thanks Air Force for sending us all over lol), we plan on stayin here another 3-4urs which will bring our total years in Italy to about 6-7, can't complain about here but lately is getting crazy with all the earthquakes and 2 days ago a tornado touched down in Venice! Insane!!! So hopefully after Italy we either get Germany for another Europe tour or Hawaii :) once we get stationed state side it will be almost impossible to get an overseas tour :/

Well ladies I'm off of bnb for the day but I shall be back tomorrow :D
Ahhh and ps, just a little something I learned, if your hair is feeling dull or brittle, use 1-2eggs beaten with 3-4T of coconut oil, let it soak for 1hr and wash your hair ;) it leaves it so soft!!!
Being a housewife i have loads of time to research stuff hahaha
Good nite ladies!!! And sending :dust: to all of you :)


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## kimberleywats

Oh the clearblue test is saying I CONCIEVED 3+ weeks ago- it the test wiv conception indicator- so in uk dates are worked from last period- so I shouldn't b over 5wks from last period- I should b 3


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## Pino6161

Sash--- I am sooo glad you are having so much fun!!! If you don't mind me asking though... did the brazilion hurt like hell?? I have been thinking of getting one just cause shaving is such a pain. Keep having fun with your OH. Lot's of love, and lots of :hugs:


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## lauren26

Sashimi - Hi! So glad that you're having fun in HI!!!! I, too, am very jealous and also pleased that you get to do soooo many fun things!! I was thinking like you this morning--if my doc gives up on me or tells me I have endo I may just work with the acupuncturist for 3 months before considering a lap. My fear of all of these diagnoses and procedures can't be helping my body much! I am thinking of that water guy who did the experiment with water crystals--the Emoto guy. Anyway, I'm glad we're both feeling optimistic :) Have an AMAZING time!


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## lxb

lauren - argh... forget that nurse!! You certainly don't need to deal with someone like that!

treasured - MMm.. I LOVE that show! Man vs food.. man vs food!! I cheer for the man & crave for the food! :haha:

sashimi - Ahh... I can just SMELL the beaches & Kauai scene through your post!! We didn't want to come back!!!! :cry: One our flight home.. it was a wakeup call ... "ahh.. we're now back to reality." I'm so so glad you're relaxing and enjoying yourself with your OH. I'm still rooting for mama sashimi's prediction and I hope you brought back a little souvenir from Kauai~~ :shy: 

Lika - Ahh... DH & I would looove to go to Italy one day. One day!!


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## kimberleywats

Hey that does make sense actually-mayb the digi is correct?? It's pod I CONCIEVED 3 weeks ago cos my ovs have been early wiv every pregnancy :) phew panic over!!!!


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## preg_pilot

kimberleywats said:


> Hey that does make sense actually-mayb the digi is correct?? It's pod I CONCIEVED 3 weeks ago cos my ovs have been early wiv every pregnancy :) phew panic over!!!!

Like the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy says: "don't panic and don't forget your towel" ;)


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## SashimiMimi

Pino!!!! Surprisingly, the Brazilian did not really hurt at all. There were a couple sensitive spots but it was over and done with in about 15 minutes. Mind you, I went to a place that does sugaring as opposed to waxing and that is supposed to be a less painful option. I hate shaving and I actually think I might keep it up! Not that I'll be going to any beaches any time soon after this!!

Lauren, the more I think of it the more the lap doesn't feel right to me. Plus no one seems to be able to tell me how long I have to wait to ttc again after I recover! I will decide when I come back.

Hey Lxb, where is that shave ice place that's supposed to be really good in Kauai!? I haven't had any shave ice yet!!


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## lxb

Sashimi - It's Jo Jo's shaved ice

I just did a search, I guess there's two of them??
1. https://www.yelp.com/biz/original-jo-jos-anuenue-shave-ice-and-treats-waimea
2. https://www.yelp.com/biz/jo-jos-shave-ice-waimea

We went to the second one (after we got lunch from the Shrimp Station), this was by Waimea. They have Macadamia nut ice cream!! The shaved ice I ordered has the Macadamia nut ice cream at the bottom~~ Mmm... (Shaved ice are shaved ice~ hehe.. it's good especially in the tropical weather~)


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## SashimiMimi

Yum!!! I can't wait. I'm having a relaxing morning by the pool and waiting for OH to wrap up golf. I think a Hawaiian treat as you described will be in order this afternoon!!


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## lxb

SashimiMimi said:


> Yum!!! I can't wait. I'm having a relaxing morning by the pool and waiting for OH to wrap up golf. I think a Hawaiian treat as you described will be in order this afternoon!!

MMm.. I feel like eating some ice cream now~~~ :shy:


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## preg_pilot

Shit. it's almost 2am, and you guys have me craving ice cream bad...


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## Pino6161

Preg-Pilot :haha: :haha:LOL I forgot the big time difference between us all


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> Preg-Pilot :haha: :haha:LOL I forgot the big time difference between us all

Hehe. Yeah. I usually cover about 10 timebelts each month, ranging from +4 to about -7, depending on what flights I get each mother.

As I was craving ice cream, I stood up after about 10 minutes of debating with myself...

I just got back... With an APPLE
Yay for healthy choices?


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## Pino6161

funny cause i was craving ice cream and had an appl instead LOL


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## lauren26

Lol at all of you. Totally using food to cope with stress right now. Works wonders! While you're eating... :)


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## SleepyOwl

Lika - Yay!! Glad everything came back good for OH - one less thing to worry about!

Lauren - Ew - what a huge B. Definitely don't deal with that rude nurse. Terrible patient care like Pino said and I'm all for Pino's way of handling things. Tell her to stick it where the sun don't shine. Can't stand people like that!! Especially when it comes to such a sensitive subject. 

Sashimi - Ahh I am so glad you are enjoying yourself in Hawaii! You definitely deserve lots of sunshine, cocktails and fun after the past few months. Can't wait to hear about your trip! Also after I got my first Brazilian, I never went back. I love them! But the waxing hurts sooo bad. I might have to try the sugaring and see if that's any better!


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## treasured

Omg sash I am soooo jealous of your trip it sounds so nice! Is it so expensive in Hawaii? So glad you are getting time to relax and enjoy oh company! This could be the best opportunity for baby making because your both super chilled, and even if it's not just enjoy the amazing time :) 

Lika what an amazing remedy my hair is defo in need of that treatment I an going to try it out soon! 

So I had realllllly sore cramps last night they started at like10 last night as went on till goddd know s when in the morning keeping me awake! They were on the right hand side and kinda like a stich.... Maybe just gas but never had that at 3dpo :s any one ever had that? X


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## preg_pilot

treasured said:


> Omg sash I am soooo jealous of your trip it sounds so nice! Is it so expensive in Hawaii? So glad you are getting time to relax and enjoy oh company! This could be the best opportunity for baby making because your both super chilled, and even if it's not just enjoy the amazing time :)
> 
> Lika what an amazing remedy my hair is defo in need of that treatment I an going to try it out soon!
> 
> So I had realllllly sore cramps last night they started at like10 last night as went on till goddd know s when in the morning keeping me awake! They were on the right hand side and kinda like a stich.... Maybe just gas but never had that at 3dpo :s any one ever had that? X

Yep. From 2DPO.


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## treasured

On your bfp month? Haha trying got1 to get hopes up but it was strange! X


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## preg_pilot

treasured said:


> On your bfp month? Haha trying got1 to get hopes up but it was strange! X

Yep, on my BFP month ;)


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## lauren26

ooo Fx treasured! I always hear that you 'can't' have symptoms that early but I've read enough on twoweekwait.com to know that many women do! I think I am 2dpo right now so we're pretty close together cycle-wise :)

Looks like I Oed at CD12 this month but the funny thing is that if I hadn't been on progesterone last month it would have been CD14 for me (CD12 = CD14 on a 'normal' cycle because I lengthened my LP by two days with the progesterone). How weird!! Our bodies are amazing. Even though I have some possible 'issues' with my reproductive system it seems like it's running a pretty tight ship down there, lol. AF has come like clockwork on the same day the last several cycles, too. Our bodies are amazing! I always wonder like, what 'timer' are they going off of??


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## Pino6161

Hi everyone :hi:. Ok so I never thought I would be so excited to pee on a stick :happydance: I got high fertility on my monitor, so now I just have to wait for the peak. OH called this morning asking what the temp was, whee my cervix was and what my monitor said. Kinda scary LOL.:haha: He said we better "get to it" then tonight LOL. He makes me laugh.

How is everyone?


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## Pino6161

Where is everyone? There is no use being a stalker when no one is online LOL. :hugs:


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## lxb

Pino - :haha: Yay for high fertility!! It's great that your OH is getting involved and it's definitely nice to have the support! FX for you~~ Whenever I pee on my clearblue OPK, I would be soo excited when I see that smiley face!! :haha:


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## auntcoley

hi girls
I'm 30 as well. We have been trying for 16 months and recently went in for testing. I was sent to a fertility specialist this month. More testing! I'm out of the loop on the abbreviations above, not sure what most of them mean. But we have found out that my left tube is blocked. yuck! Anyhow I'm just starting to get a little depressed with all my friends having babies.


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## Pino6161

Aunt Coley :hi: everyone here is great!!! I know the feeling. I am only 21, but have been through all of the tests, and you will find some going through them now. Other people having babies is hard, and I know how you feel, my younger brother is about to have his first kid at the end of the month. Don't give up! :hugs:


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## lxb

auntcoley - :wave: welcome! We have a bunch of amazing & supportive ladies here! And definitely know how it feels to see people around us are having babies. And we're all more than happy to be here for you :hugs: So sorry to hear about your left tube. When is your next testing appointment? What is the next step?

There are a whole bunch of abbreviations being used here and I also had hard times with them. Some help with the abbreviations:
OH - Other Half (<--- I used to think it meant Old Husband :haha:)
FX - Finger Crossed
OPK - Ovulation Predictor Kit


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## Pino6161

lxb--- My OH is definatly getting involved, but hopefully he doesn't go overboard and start to drive me crazy LOL he woke me up this morning asking, and I hadn't done anything yet LOL. I still love him though...how are you doing? How is your sweet pea??


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## lauren26

Welcome, Aunt Coley! I've just gotten some testing done, too, so we're in a similar boat!

Pino - Yay!! Love O time. It means something is happening. Lol.

lxb - Girl you need to change the little subtitle under your screen name! :) :) :) To say pregnant!!!


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Girls!! We survived the helicopter tour this morning and it was absolutely breath taking!!! I was nervous right at take off and tried to get out, but it was well worth it. Yestrday, I had two cocktails by the pool and passed out and as a result did not get shave ice/ice cream!!! We have another full week here, so it will happen. We had something called a puka dog for lunch and it was the most amazing hot dog with papaya relish!!

I did another OPK today and the line was much fainter than yesterday so I am going to guess I Oed yesterday. We will probably squeeze another BD in just in case!

Treasured, Hawaii goes either way in terms of how expensive it is. We tend to splurge on our vacations because it's the only time we ever do splurge on anything!

I have a sunburn for the first time in my life!!! I guess 45 SPF is not enough and I will have to start using the 110 SPF I bought for OH!!!


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## preg_pilot

SashimiMimi said:


> I have a sunburn for the first time in my life!!! I guess 45 SPF is not enough and I will have to start using the 110 SPF I bought for OH!!!

An idle thought about sunscreen.
After SPF 40, it doesn´t make much difference how high you go.
It doesn´t shield that much more of the damaging rays.
What matters is how often you apply the sunscreen.
If the sun is very strong, you need to apply more about once every 30-60 minutes ;)


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## lauren26

Sashimi - Wow, that trip is sounding better and better the more you tell us about it! Helicopter sounds terrifying but I'm sure it was amazing! Seems like Hawaii's a place where you'd HAVE to splurge ;) My PIL are on there way there today for two weeks. I see a theme here.... I can't believe you've never had a sunburn! That's great, though. It means you won't get skin cancer! Living in Colorado I have to think about getting burnt constantly. Glad you guys are finding some good vacation BD time, too :)

preg - Is that true??? I have been using spf 90 on my face when I know I'll be out all day and I haven't gotten burned on my face yet, despite my very, very pale skin and tendency to burn. I suppose my makeup could be protecting me, too.


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## lauren26

I met up with a friend today (more of an acquaintance but we like each other) who has been TTC for a couple of years. We didn't totally connect because she's 41 or 42 and has some other issues with her OH that come into play that I couldn't relate to, but it was still nice to supplement this awesome BnB community with someone's experience IRL who has been dealing with this stuff! Also, she told me that she has endometriosis and she's gotten pg twice (mc due to blighted ovum both times). Her docs have never, ever told her that she won't get pg because of the endo, and it sounds similar to what I supposedly have--endo cysts on ovaries. So! That really made me feel better. I trust that my new doc is great but I wonder if they push people with endo into IVF early just to be able to get faster results and to feel like they're doing something, or helping more. 

Even though I enjoyed talking with this woman, I feel a lot more supported by this community! I think it's just because she and I don't know each other super well and this was the first time we'd had a convo by ourselves. Still, it was nice. Hope everyone is having a great weekend :)


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## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> Sashimi - Wow, that trip is sounding better and better the more you tell us about it! Helicopter sounds terrifying but I'm sure it was amazing! Seems like Hawaii's a place where you'd HAVE to splurge ;) My PIL are on there way there today for two weeks. I see a theme here.... I can't believe you've never had a sunburn! That's great, though. It means you won't get skin cancer! Living in Colorado I have to think about getting burnt constantly. Glad you guys are finding some good vacation BD time, too :)
> 
> preg - Is that true??? I have been using spf 90 on my face when I know I'll be out all day and I haven't gotten burned on my face yet, despite my very, very pale skin and tendency to burn. I suppose my makeup could be protecting me, too.

Here is a quote I found:

A higher number is slightly better. "You get 99 percent sunburn protection with SPF 90, versus 96 percent with SPF 30," says Howard Sobel, M.D., of Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City. Over a lifetime, a few more percentage points of protection can add up to a lot less sun damage.

Read more at Women's Health: https://www.womenshealthmag.com/beauty-and-style/sunscreen-myths#ixzz1y0uH1DVS

Basically 30spf gives you 96%, or 93%, or maybe more or less, depending on the brand you buy, but each number above that only gives you 1-2% more, so not so much that it should matter. 
At least not when you consider how much the price difference is between a 30 and a 55 for instance...


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## Lika

Hey ladies!!! :wave:

Just popping in to see how y'all are doing? :)
I'm still in the same boat ugh! Been cramping a lot lately but no AF gah! So frustrating :(
I started taking geritol(pill form), I heard it helps? I dunno much about it but I guess can't hurt... If anything it will help me get my vitamins I don't get from food :) Me and DH decided to take a more laid back approach for TTC :) it was stressing us out way too much and our marriage started to suffer. Soooo to lighten things up a bit we signed up for dance lessons ;) that shall be fun lol. We are both in agreement that we will do WHATEVER it takes to have a baby :)
I hope everyone had/is having a good weekend!!! :)

And Lauren :) a friend of mine has endo and had 2 boys who are 9 and 6 :) she just had to be very very careful when she was pregnant :)


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## lauren26

Lika THANK you for telling me that :)


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## SleepyOwl

Aunt Coley - Welcome! We've got a great group here and are glad to have you join us!! 

Preg - I heard the same thing about sunscreen - that anything over SPF 30 really doesn't make any difference. I still use like SPF 50 though lol. 

Sashimi - Glad you're having a good time. That helicopter ride sounds amaaazing. I would be SO scared though!

Lauren - That's nice you were able to meet up with your friend. Especially because it gives you hope if that is the situation that you will be dealing with. But I totally agree - there's something about the support on this forum that is really wonderful even if we have never met in person!

Lika - Hopefully that geritol does the trick. Those dance classes sound FUN! What kind of dance is it??

Haribo, Treasured - How are you both??

AFM - Pretty sure I O'd yesterday, but waiting for my crosshairs on FF. I mentioned this in my journal, but I felt like everything leaked out of me!! Gahhh!! I was laughing at the time, but the next day I was like wow, that probably doesn't help my chances AT ALL. Lol!! Other than that, I'm feeling pretty positive about this month even if it's not my BFP. Feel like I did all I can and we've felt so relaxed about everything. I think summer has really put me in a permanently good mood!!


----------



## Pino6161

Hey everyone!!! SO yesterday I had to go to the Dr cause of my migraines, I had a really bad one yesterday again. My Dr said that it was because of the drastic weather changes. We got a really bad storm on Saturday, and the weather dropped from 103F to 83F in around 2 hours. Anyways yesterday I pretty much stayed in my bedroom yesterday and slept. It kinda ruined SMEP, OH was ready to do it, but I just couldn't my head was throbbing so bad, I threw up.

Anyways, I am feeling so much better today. I still only have high fertility and I have not hit my peak. I am a bit upset cause I want to ovulate right now, on the other hand I didn't BD so Ik am glad. IDK just one of those days I guess.


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## Lika

Oh Pino I hope you feel better soon!!! I suffer from chronic migranes and they are a killer!!! I have them under control now because I'm pretty much caffeine free, but when I do get them, DH has to sleep in the couch because I roll from one side of the bed to the other until the pain subside. Not fun :(

Owl- its country dancing ;) BUT leave it to he military to chane hubs schedule lol so we won't be able to take the class after all :( kind of bummed but it's his work, nothing he can do about it..

This week I decided to take it easy and just organize the house, but geez it's hot in here!!! 90's and it's not even summer yet! And worse of all there's no central ac in Italy ugh! Somehow I think fans just circulate the same hot air lol I'm kind of grumpy because of the heat 

Anyways, be back later ;)
Have a good day everyone!


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## lauren26

Pino - That SUCKS. I had migraines really bad when I was a kid--so bad that I would throw up, too, and would have a hard time speaking. They stopped after about age 11 and I've never gotten one since, thankfully. 

Sleepy - I'm so glad that you're feeling relaxed :) I'm sure you guys didn't miss the window, but it's great to know that you've done what you could this month and that you'll feel OK whether or not it's BFP month! I hope that it is :)

Lika - I forget what part of Italy you're in. I always thought of Italy as being a really hot place! That's lame that you can't take country dancing together--sounded really fun!

afm, My bbt has taken a big dip a couple of times since O...Usually I have a pretty level/consistent temp after O and a wacky temp before. Maybe I'll just have a more erratic temp this month. So far none of them have dropped below the CL, so I'm guessing it's OK. I'm on progesterone again, though a different type. I def. think it's too much as they told me I wouldn't get much leakage and I pretty much have it constantly (yuck). Anyway, I totally thought that I'd be getting crazy side effects like last month but so far nothing! Which is a relief because I was a total bear with OH on that other progesterone... :blush: How is everyone else?


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## Lika

We live close to Aviano AB :) its an hr or so away from Venice ;) 
I'm very bummed about te dance lessons but I'm pretty sure more opportunities will come our way :) I am absolutely not going out of my house till sundown lol this heat is waaaay too much for me. Even though I lived many years in Miami beach, Fl, this heat is different... VERY dry ugh!
Ohhh how I miss te beach! Been only 1x since movin here... The beache here are kind of different  we do have a lake in the mountains but the water is freezing since its pretty much melted snow, and the last time we went DH almost died of hypothermia 

I mean being a mil wife is not bad, but sometimes is boring :/ especially since where we live there's a lot of old ppl who don't speak English at all and our Italian plain sux! 

So where do y'all live? :D


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## lxb

Oo.. sunscreen! I have a very sensitive skin and can barely find any sunscreen that won't cause any rash on my skin~ Bought these baby sunscreen but never got a chance to try them out. Usually just stick with cooling gel for the after sun :dohh:

sashimi - sounds like you're having soooo much fun & very much relaxed! you deserved it hun~ :hugs:

lika - country dance sounds like fun!! I've always tried to get DH to take dance class with me (I wanted to do swing)... but he doesn't want to because he has two left feet!!! :dohh: I'm still trying to convince him to do it though... but nothing worked so far~~ 

sleepy - don't worry too much about the leak. Perhaps ewcm felt like leaks? You only really needed ONE :spermy: so you're in good shape! Go lucky #6! :dance:

pino - Ahh.. that type of weather is the worst! hope you feel better soon and get to that SMEP a.k.a. your BFP! 

lauren - your chart looks good. like you said, they're not below the CL, so you're okay! :haha: :haha: @ you being total bear with OH ~~ all sounds very good to me! :dance:

afm, not much to report except for the same cramps every now and then & sore BBs! Ooo... and loving noodles right now!!! :kiss: 9 days 'til scan!!! Eeek!!


----------



## Lika

Ooooohh lxb your scan is soooo close!!! :D time fly doesn't it?! It feels like I started this whole TTC journey last week and it's actually been over a month!!! I have high hopes I will get my :bfp: till the end of the year! Would love to to visit family in Brazil sporting a cool "bump" ;)


----------



## haribo813

Hey everyone,

Welcome Auntcoley, hope you're having a good week and find this thread useful, I certainly have.

Lika - I am envious of your heat! It is the wettest June in London EVER! Followed by the wettest May too I think! I feel like a fool for packing away all my jumpers and winter coats in March during 1 of only 2 hot spells this year. So I'm quite cold a lot of the time!

Pino - poor you with the migraine, you must have been feeling under the weather to not BD, we know what you're normally like jumping on your OH, tee hee! Hope you're on the mend..

Sleepy-glad you're feeling so positive, fantastic. It's good to chill out and relax and so much harder to do than say so well done!

Lauren-hope everything ok with you, you sound like you're doing well and glad you've been able to find out so much info lately. I think it's hilarious you come on here after BD but then I wonder if I'm the only one who doesn't from reading the other posts?!

Sashimi your holiday sounds so glamorous (I'm ignoring the sunburn...) I hope you feel rested and relaxed and are enjoying sampling all the food delicacies!

Lxb-nearly scan time lovely! How exciting to see your little blueberry sized baby on screen! :) Do tell us all about it! Country do you know when yours will be?

Treasured-WHERE ARE YOU?!

I don't have much to report really, am CD25 but had a weird cycle of temps and pretty sure I'm only 1 week since Oing rather than being almost 2. I went in to have a progesterone blood test this morning and thought I was really smart arriving just before the clinic opened at 7.30am. But alas no! There were already 20 people sitting down clutching their tickets! On a Monday morning, I tell you!

Anyway I think I'm having a longer cycle this one than my usual 28 days so am ignoring what day I am and just trying to forget it. I don't want AF when I go to France next week for hols though so if she's coming, I'd like her to be out of the way thank you very much!

xxx

ps-Lauren, on my blood test form it said progesterone should be tested on CD19, I always thought it was CD21? Think my date (i.e CD25 cos of late O) might be whack anyway but I suppose I can always do it again next month (Of course I secretly love shuffling along with a ticket and lots of unwashed looking people early in the morning...)


----------



## Lika

Ohhhh Haribo you are going to France?!?! Sooo jelly ;) even though we only live 2hrs away(by plane) from Paris I've never been there :( hopefully next year ;) london is at the top of our list too!!! If we hadn't extended here for another 3-4yrs we would probably be sent to England lol

Right now is 11:15pm, still very hot but DH don't let me turn on our ac because it's too expensive...sighhhh so here I am, hot and grumpy lol
I'm so glad I joined bnb :) the support here is awesome! :D


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## lxb

haribo - :haha: @ you love shuffling along with those unwashed looking people. France! I'm so jealous of you already! I hope you have a little bean with you when you go to France and not that ugly AF! Run.. I got her for ya :gun: :gun:

lika - ahh... what's the temperature?? I remember once our ac was broken during the summer time... and it was ~98F in the house. :dohh: NOT fun! I find having a fan... with lots of ice water helps! :haha:


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## Lika

This afternoon the thermometer indicated it was 96F! Crazy I tell ya! One of the things I miss about living in the states... Central ac in the summer, central heat in the winter lol ohhhh the commodities we had ;) another thing I miss is Ihop lmao! Is it wrong to wish for pancakes for breakfast? Italians eat TONS of pastries in the morning, with coffee or cappuccino lol if I wasn't insulin resistant it would be awesome... But I don't want to aggravate my pcos symptoms ;)
I am seriously considering going up the mountains and to the lake this week and just dive head in ;) no time to think, cuz the water is super cold because it's basically melted snow lol I think that should cool me off for a while lol


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## lauren26

Ladies!! Talk about HEAT it is 99 degrees here and Colorado is drrrrrrry as a bone. We currently have a 55,000 acre wild fire going in the mountains an hour north of us. It's DRY, I tell you! 

lxb - I am excited for your scan!! Are you feeling OK now?? I am sure seeing that little one will seal the deal, but I'm knowing that it will all go perfectly :hugs:. Also, have you tried any of the organic or natural sunscreen brands? I like Alba, though it's a little pricey. I also use SPF 90 on my face--Neutrogena brand--when I'll be out long (I think that for me the extra little % of coverage will add up over the years! I am so so fair and living in Colorado the sun is BRUTAL). 

haribo - Thank you--I am doing well!! Information is power, right? I am going in for a second opinion about poss. endo on Weds with my gynecologist, so that will help me settle down.

Wow, I have got job draaaaaama happening today, lol. More on that later when the dust settles--I'm hoping it all leads to a tidy little position and a return to my former salary!


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## Pino6161

You guys no nothing of heat LOL. It is 104 F here in Arizona!! Although I do have to say, my AC is at 72F all year round. The plus of not paying utilities LOL


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## lxb

lika - :haha: @ diving into the water from melted snow! Yep.. that should definitely cool you down for a gooood while! Hmm.. I'm not so much of a pancake fan... I'm more for waffles~~~

lauren - Woo... I know all about dry heat!! High here is 112F~ This morning at ~8AM was 91F, and this afternoon when I went for lunch was 111F. :wacko: I'm excited for the scan. 9 more days just feels a bit too long! I'm feeling up and down throughout the days. One minute when I felt cramp... I felt better as I feel like there's a little bean in there creating its environment and make itself at home (And I would run to the bathroom to make sure I'm not bleeding! :dohh:). Other times when I feel completely normal, I'm worry that that was just gas! And the bean is just a bean and didn't "pop" into a popcorn! I've asked my family out for dinner (right after the scan). So hopefully we can share the good news with them. If we can't see anything... I guess it would just be a regular dinner and I'll have to try my hardest to act 'normal'. Just been emotionally stressed out... and then stress about being stress that it's not doing any good to my body! :dohh:

I've tried the Olay facial moisturizer with SPF15 and I'm okay (I have sensitive lips too! long story!) Felt a little scare to try SPF90.... maybe I'll get the brand you've recommended and rub some on my cheek to see what happens :haha:


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## lauren26

lxb - :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I really hear your concern, girl. I am just holding the highest and best and knowing that little blueberry is making its home and working on growing into a bigger fruit! :) 112 sounds BAD. Lol. I have sensitive lips, too!! Though maybe in a different way. Mine have tiny freckles all over them and one bigger freckle. It's weird! I have to be really careful and always wear chapstick or lipgloss with SPF.


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## lxb

lauren26 said:


> lxb - :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I really hear your concern, girl. I am just holding the highest and best and knowing that little blueberry is making its home and working on growing into a bigger fruit! :) 112 sounds BAD. Lol. I have sensitive lips, too!! Though maybe in a different way. Mine have tiny freckles all over them and one bigger freckle. It's weird! I have to be really careful and always wear chapstick or lipgloss with SPF.

Thanks lauren :hugs: :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

I'm really having trouble keeping up when I can't log in from work!! 

Lxb - I would probably worry just as much. It can't be easy!! I am hoping and praying that your scan goes wonderful and you get to see that little blueberry living it up in your belly :hugs:

Lauren - Oooooh job drama! How perfect if other people's drama leads you on a salary somewhere. Not a bad deal!! Lol. I hate when BBT's are all over the place. Makes me feel like I can't analyze properly. Glad this progesterone isn't giving you crazy side effects. Is it a different brand or dosage? Have you scheduled your HSG? I can't remember if you said that or not!

Pino - I hope your migraines are better! Sounds awful, especially in that crazy Arizona heat. My sister used to live there and I just don't know how you do it. SO HOT! 

Haribo - France!! How lovely :) I've never been and I've always wanted to go and fill up on wine and cheese lol!! I hope you didn't have to wait to long to have your test this morning. Sounds like everyone had the same thought as you!

Lika - When are you going to Brazil? Where does your fam live? I visited several years ago and loooved it. So beautiful and the people were so kind!

Nothing new here except that I forgot my thermometer at my parent's house so no temping for a few days til I get it back. Can't say it bothers me too much though. I know I've O'd because I had a significant rise in temp and my CM has totally dried up. Expecting sore boobies soon lol. Since I don't have the thermometer, I'm not stalking my FF app at work all day and analyzing it. It's weird - I feel like I have all this free time. Was I that obsessed?? Apparently :blush:


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## Lika

lxb said:


> lika - :haha: @ diving into the water from melted snow! Yep.. that should definitely cool you down for a gooood while! Hmm.. I'm not so much of a pancake fan... I'm more for waffles~~~
> 
> My husband looooves waffles!!! Last time we went back home he went straight from the airport to the waffle house lol
> 
> lauren - Woo... I know all about dry heat!! High here is 112F~ This morning at ~8AM was 91F, and this afternoon when I went for lunch was 111F. :wacko: I'm excited for the scan. 9 more days just feels a bit too long! I'm feeling up and down throughout the days. One minute when I felt cramp... I felt better as I feel like there's a little bean in there creating its environment and make itself at home (And I would run to the bathroom to make sure I'm not bleeding! :dohh:). Other times when I feel completely normal, I'm worry that that was just gas! And the bean is just a bean and didn't "pop" into a popcorn! I've asked my family out for dinner (right after the scan). So hopefully we can share the good news with them. If we can't see anything... I guess it would just be a regular dinner and I'll have to try my hardest to act 'normal'. Just been emotionally stressed out... and then stress about being stress that it's not doing any good to my body! :dohh:
> 
> Holy Moly 112F?!?! I think I would've died! I'm here grumpy because we are in the 90's lol but then... Not having ac in the summer is brutal!!! I think after a few years living in Europe, when we finally go home it will be sooo weird having central ac lol ahhhh I'm looking forward to being back in American soil lol
> 
> I've tried the Olay facial moisturizer with SPF15 and I'm okay (I have sensitive lips too! long story!) Felt a little scare to try SPF90.... maybe I'll get the brand you've recommended and rub some on my cheek to see what happens :haha:




Pino6161 said:


> You guys no nothing of heat LOL. It is 104 F here in Arizona!! Although I do have to say, my AC is at 72F all year round. The plus of not paying utilities LOL

Lucky you don't have to pay utilities!!! We would have that option as well if we lived in government housing, but I would rather not, since there's sooooo much drama in the housing complex! Mostly because the toe houses are right. Ext to each other... So no privacy at all ugh! If it's any consolation, I live above a gelato(Italian ice cream) shop lol. Total diet bomb!

Lxb- sending :hug: your way :) I'm pretty sure your blueberry it's making it's home in your tummy and everything is okay :) let us know how the scan goes ;)

Sleepy- I have family all over Brazil lol Sao Paulo, Rio de Janeiro, Bahia... Hubs got a whole month of from November-December sonar can visit my family ;) it's been a decade since I've seen my grandparents so I'm pretty excited :D hubs is worried he will stand out lol I'm pretty sure he will but brazilians tend to be pretty cool lol. Where in Brazil did you go? :)


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## lauren26

Sleepy - I had my HSG! It was all clear on the tech's end but my doc wanted to see the video of it and make sure she didn't catch anything that they didn't see. I am waiting on that impatiently, lol. Yes! Job drama appears to be bringing me' my old job back. More later as I'll find out today :)


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## Pino6161

You guys, I need advice!! I have not gotten the high fertility on my monitor, but when you look at my chart, it looks like I might have O'd, what do you guys think??? I'm kinda freaking out over here. Thanks


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## lxb

Pino6161 said:


> You guys, I need advice!! I have not gotten the high fertility on my monitor, but when you look at my chart, it looks like I might have O'd, what do you guys think??? I'm kinda freaking out over here. Thanks

Hmm.... that high temp today perhaps mean you've Oed. Is your room temperature still the same? Are you feeling okay? BD tonight just in case and see what your temp is like tomorrow~ FX!


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## Pino6161

My room, temp is always 71 F, and I take it vaginally cause I sleep with my mouth open LOL. I feel ok, slight cramping earlier, but I think it's cause I started thinking about it LOL


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## lxb

:haha: Better get busy tonight & see what your temp is like tomorrow :thumbup:


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## treasured

Hello!

Haribo Im here :) been a little busy over the last few days so not had any time to get on here haha! So much to catch up on! 

How is everyone getting on and where are you all in your cycles? 

Im 7dpo (roughly) and not really got any symptoms so I dont thin there is much hope for this month! 
So my SIL had her 4th baby this morning, her 3rd is only 18 months and this one wasnt planned.. lucky!!! We went in this afternoon to the maternity ward to visit her and the LO, he is gorgeous but I didnt think it would affect me as much as it did being in that place. Every room was full of smiling new mums and family gazing at their amazing new baby and all I could do was smile too but secretly felt gutted. I held SILs new baby too and felt like I was about to cry! She doesnt know we are TTC so obviouslly couldnt say anything :(. OH wasnt that supportive either he just told me not to be depressed, He just doesnt seem to get how hard it is for me despite me telling him. 

Hmmm it was a bit difficult but lovely to see my new wee nephew :) although I wish I was as fertile as SIL.

Oh well... Anyone got any chit chat to cheer me up? xxxx


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## countrygirl86

Hey Ladies! I've had a bit of a break, I find the time goes by a little quicker when I don't stare at my tickers lol plus I had a bachelorette this past weekend and the wedding this coming weekend. I'm glad Sashimi is having such a great time in Hawaii! And it's sounding good for you Lauren with a job! Hope blueberry week is treating you well lxb :) Sleepy, I'm hoping you got it this month, you've put in a great effort! Pino, I know it's possible that your LH surge isn't strong enough to register as O but it could be for you. Keep BDing! treasured, haribo, lika, preg, and anyone else I've missed :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Pino - Looks like maybe you have O'd but you need one more high temp to seal the deal. Is that monitor you have ever off - like maybe you just missed peak fertility? I'm not sure how it works, but is that possible? 

Lika - When I went we visited Salvador de Bahia, Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro. Bahia was my favorite place. The people were sooo sweet there. Loved it - OH and I need to take a trip together there sometime. 

Treasured - Sorry you had a hard time with the new baby. It's amazing holding them and seeing them for the first time, but definitely difficult. Hope you have your little one soon....like 9 months soon :X Lol!

Country - Glad you stopped back in!! I missed you with that bach. party you had this weekend. Too much time away from our crazy lady thread!!

Lauren - How's it going today??


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## Pino6161

Sleepy, I'm really not sure about the monitor. It is my first month using it so IDK.... I know the first month can be off just cause it is getting to know my body. I BD'd just in case though LOL. I think my biggest worry though is since I was trying to do SMEP we BD'd CD15 and skipped 16. I had that bad migraine on the 17th so we didn't BD. We did do it CD18 and 19, but I am worried by not doing it on CD 17 I missed my mark IDK.... Today is CD19 and me and OH spontaneously had sex, so I didn't use the preseed today, and when he was about to finish, I accidentally twitched and he pulled out so not all of it went in. I surprisingly didn't get mad, but I got really worried, and he got frustrated LOL. IDK I am starting to stress out a bit


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## lauren26

Hey ladies! I couldn't log on all day. Basically my old job called and wanted me to come in and help since they finally fired my horrible former boss, and they're in crisis mode since I'm the only other person who knows how to do most of her job. It was weird and sort of disappointing to be back at work (doing whatever I want all day is SO much better! Lol--I forgot that work is WORK), but I do think that it will lead to a permanent position for me and the $ and title I should have had when I was there. And, most importantly, that awful boss is gone! Anyway, it was a really weird day filled with mixed feelings. 

Pino - Don't be scared! It does sort of look like you O-ed but high fertility sounds pretty good to me for BD days! Did you drink at all last night? That spikes my temp. Either way, you BDed a couple of days before and that's been enough for plenty of people :)

Sleepy - Hi!!! I look at my FF chart throughout the day, too. I usually feel so proud of it until AF comes. Lol. Do your parents live close? 

Country - Hi!! How did it go with not drinking at the party? Did you just use the DD excuse?

Treasured - Wow, that sounds tough! I'm sure it's amazing to be an aunt but I would have a hard time, too. I saw my SIL and her 3 kids on father's day and it was similar. 

Speaking of, did I mention to you all that my SIL just told me (right after I told her I might have endo and was gearing up to be very, very patient in awaiting my baby) that they're going to try to get pg with #4 soon?? I was sort of excited but I felt SO envious. They announced they'd gotten pregnant about two months before we started TTC and now my nephew's here!! A few months old! I never thought I'd still be trying. Hoping that TTC doesn't last too much longer! The progesterone I'm on is BLOATING me so bad. My breasts aren't sore this month, really, so I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, lol. I did an hpt strip tonight but OH rushed me out the door before it could 'develop' (he didn't know I was doing it) and when I got home there was a bad evap-looking line. I seem to get those a lot, lol! So. If I can exercise some will power I won't test tomorrow morning. It will still only be 7dpo for goodness' sake.


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## Pino6161

lauren--- No I didn't drink at all, so IDK. I feel like your SIL is really rushing, I mean she hasn't even had time to fully enjoy your nephew. I understand that it can both be a good thing for you, and also very hard at the same time. I hope this is your BFP month. :hugs:


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## treasured

Lauren, I know what you mean! SILs 3rd child is only 18 months and they already have a new baby! that wasnt even planned... youd think by now they would know how to prevent it... I guess they are just lucky :( 

still got tender boobs which ive had every day since last AF.. fed up of symptom spotting though cause every month I think I have preg symptoms and never do, so clearly my body is just weird! Think I will test on Friday, so should be 10dpo by then.


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## Pino6161

Hey everyone, so I guess I worried yesterday for nothing cause my temp went down again. I am frustrated, because I seem to O later than I thought. On the plus side. Our lawyer called yesterday, and I guess the papers are ready a lot earlier than they thought. They gave me an appointment for the 9th of July, because they said it take 2 weeks. Well since I gave them most of the paperwork a while ago, and just 2 last papers last week, they had most of what they needed. Anyways, me and OH go in today to sign all the papers, and then we just wait.


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## lxb

pino - Hmmm.... looking at your chart now. my temp usually drop before O. So looks like you might O soon~! So don't you twitch this time! :haha: Great news!! July 9th is coming up! :dance:

sleepy - Ahh.. I'm obsessed with charts!!! It bothers me that I don't get to see your temp update!! hehehe.. charting can be stressful too though so I'm glad that you're able to take a little break from it and relax for the little bean inside of you! (I still believe lucky #6!) 

lauren - :hugs: some people can just pop out babies like a soda machine! I'm crossing everything for you & hope this is your BFP month girl~~

treasured - symptom spotting is the worst! Our body is tricky and we always get to know a little more about our body or noticed something "different" about our body each month and that raised flags! I think the only difference I felt last cycle was a needle type poking pain on my lower left belly (but that only happened once though). Who knows that might mean something .... or that might just be gas! :haha: did you start temping? Ooo... a tester!!!! FX for you!!! :hugs:

country - i need to learn from you! I stared at my ticker everyday! :haha: I have an app that show daily tips etc. glad your party went well~~~

lika - how r u feeling today? still feel like diving into freezing cold water?? :)

afm, SEVEN more days until scan!!!! Feeling anxious!! :dance:


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## Pino6161

lxb--- they actually bumped our appointment up. It is actually today!! so excited!!


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## countrygirl86

Sleepy - I love this crazy lady thread! It's my fave by far!

Lauren - the not drinking went well! I had to use the antibiotics excuse as there was no driving needed lol but I might use that one this coming weekend! Great news about your potential job. It's hard to see people get pg so quickly and easily, when yours comes it will be that much more desired and you will have worked so hard for the final payoff :hugs: I'm with lxb crossing everything for you!

Pino - Congrats on getting the paperwork done sooner and having your appointment today! At least that's moving along! I don't know how those fertility monitors work but hoping you O soon and it shows you nice and clear!

treasured - keep us posted on the test! 

lxb - your scan has come up super quickly! You should get some awesome pics this far along and the heartbeat should be good and strong :)


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## SashimiMimi

Hey ladies! There is so much to catch up on, I'm going to have to go back later today and read all of the posts I missed!

We are still having a great time Hawaii and now on our last few days of the trip and really sad to be going home this weekend. I think the main reason I dont want to go home is because I will know it means returning to the TTC nightmare. I was just think g about how much I don't want to do the lap surgery when an email came through from my doctor telling me to go on birth control until the surgery!! Well I'm several days DPO now so why didn't they tell me this when the surgery got booked!?!? The more I think about the lap the more it upsets me and puts me in a dark place emotionally. I haven't even notified my work that I'll need more time off and I'm really uncomfortable about that too. OH keeps saying lets take the summer off and then let's do the next steps in the fall like surgery etc.

What do you guys think? What would you do? My other TTC meltdown this trip occurred on Sunday night at the worlds cheesiest luau! It was held indoors because of the chance of rain so it was in the Hyatt's conference room. I felt line I was at a bad wedding and there were babies and pregnant women everywhere!!!!!! I wanted to get away from that more than my cheesy luau performances.

Well from what I've read so far on here everyone is having some excitement. Lauren your new job potential sounds great! Especially that the awful boss got the boot! Justice!!!! It is a weird feeling goin back, I know. But I adjusted and so will you!

Lxb good luck with the scan. Can't wait to hear all about it.

Pino good luck with the fertility monitor 

Sleepy how are you!? Glad you aren't going to that baby shower

County looks like you had a good time at the bachelorette! Hope you are well.

Hello to everyone else that I've missed. I'm on my iPhone so I'll write more later!


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## preg_pilot

Finally booked my first appointment :)
Thursday next week. Can´t wait to hear the heartbeat... :happydance:


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi - Enjoy your last few days there. Soak up all the sun you can!! If it were me, I would probably just go ahead with the lap surgery as scheduled and then decide with OH from there what our TTC plans were. I have trouble with waiting for things like that and lack any kind of patience though. Sorry you had such a difficult time at that cheesy luau! Sometimes those breakdowns happen in the weirdest places. Once I started crying at a retreat because I forgot to put toothpaste on my toothbrush - everyone thought I was a loonbin!!

Lauren - How was work today? Crazy about your SIL - as much as I want a family, I don't know if I could do it that quick (not like I would get pregnant that quickly, lol, but that's an entirely different story)

Pino - Yay for signing the papers. Things sound like they are moving quicker than expected, but that's good right? I hope you O soon!! 

Lxb - I'm getting antsy without my thermometer now :X I'm going to pick it up tomorrow from my parent's house. 

AFM I think I'm 4 or 5 DPO. I'm sort of mad now that I don't have my thermometer!! Whyyy am I so forgetful, lol!! I had some weird stringy, creamy CM yesterday and sticky CM today. So seems pretty much the same as last cycle to this point except for the stringy part which I thought was gross, but whatever. No other symptoms - not at all tired, no sore boobs - really glad about that too. Planning on getting out of work early tomorrow and hanging out with my sis and niece at the pool. Can't wait!!


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## lauren26

Sleepy - Work was better! I expect an offer from them in the morning, though there's still a slim chance that they'll turn around and not want me. It was definitely better, though still overwhelming. I am returning to such a mess! Pool sounds lovely!! It was cooler today but it's supposed to be back up in the mid-90s soon. The fire here is still going strong--the smoke in Boulder has been awful! I hope that it rains, at least, if it's not going to stay cool. I would flip without my thermom, too. I feel like all of my temps this month have been inaccurate for some reason. I also have 0-very little boob soreness!! It's freaking me out, but I guess it's OK. No other symptoms aside from AWFUL bloating from the progesterone. Ugh. And yes, SIL is a nut. She got pg with #2 accidentally when #1 was VERY young.

Pino - I'm so glad the paperwork is moving along more quickly than you thought! Congrats!! Don't stress about O....it's on it's way! Also, sometimes temps dip right after for me, too. 

lxb - Excited for your scan!!


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## Pino6161

So me and OH went and signed all of our papers. After we got home I got a call saying they don't have a copy of his aunt's license. She is our joint sponsor. So I talked to the assistant I gave it to, and she said she can't find it anywhere. I am so mad. Now we have to have her send another copy. It sucks cause she lives so far away, and I hate having to put her out more.

Other than that day went well. I had slight cramping today, and it was kinda weird, but very brief.


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## lxb

:haha: I love this crazy lady thread too!!

pino - yay for paper work!! Hopefully his aunt will get all the needed information in asap so everything can be moving along!

country - Hopefully scan will go well~ I told DH yesterday:
Me: "ONE MORE WEEK!!"
DH: "I KNOW!!!"
Me: "I'm crossing everything & hope everything will be okay~~"
DH: "crossing everything?" <== :dohh:

treasured - FX for your test tomorrow! How are you feeling?

sashimi - sorry to hear about that luau! Can't believe it's held in a conference room!!?! What does the lap surgery consist of? It's understandable that you feel uncomfortable asking for more time off from your work. Do what feels right to you. But of course, i hope you don't have to go through that as you'll have your kauai bean! :hugs:

preg_pilot - yay for appointment!! :dance:

sleepy - Ahh.. I hope stringy/creamy cm is a good sign. I remember I felt my cm was weird last cycle... I thought it was sticky.. and yet it's stretchy/stringy. Can't wait to see your temp update tmr!! Have fun with your sis & niece~~

lauren - hope you got a great job offer!!


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## lauren26

I love our crazy thread, too!! 

lxb - LOL at crossing everything...

Pino - Dang it!! At least the process is started early. Stuff like that is sooo annoying and takes forever (kind of like TTC! lol).

I did get a job offer! It's pretty much exactly what I wanted! Not quiiiite as much $$ but I'll get there. I think the financial situation is in shambles because of the rotten boss, but I'll soon set that straight! I am excited and also overwhelmed and a little intimidated. Still, happy and my eyes are TIRED. I forgot what it's like to sit in front of a computer all day.


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## SleepyOwl

Yayyy Lauren - congrats!! You working woman you! I'm sure everything will fall into place one things settle down a bit. Sounds crazy, but definitely exciting :)

Preg - Soo excited for your scan! Finally you get to see your little bean. 

Pino - Do you think you've O'd yet? Your BD schedule looks excellent!

My CM is dry/slightly sticky today. I just don't feel like it's my month because nothing is different from last month. I know that probably isn't a true indicator of pregnancy, but not going to dwell on it or symptom spot. It's nice not to be totally consumed by the TWW.


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## Pino6161

Honestly, I have no idea if I O'd. My monitor is still on high, I haven't peaked yet. My temps are still low, so IDK, I am going to be safe rather than sorry.


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## lauren26

Where is everyone?? Hi!!! :hugs:

Well, my temps are looking promising but I still think that the last few could have been flukes. I just don't want to get my hopes up!! Plus, I tested this AM and got a BFN. AND I've seen plenty of charts with dips and spikes etc. that weren't pg charts....I don't have any symptoms. I did have sore-ish bbs but that's subsided, which makes me think that I'm out. 

How is everyone else?


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## treasured

Lauren hiii, what dpo are you? I tested yesterday at 10dpo anf it was bfn, as I expected! No af yet but had cramps and my sore boobs are gone :( glad that my lp is now longer than ten days tho! Do you think it's possible to get a bfp after 10 days? I think Im out tho :( ohhhh well xxxx


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## treasured

My test wasnt with fmu but surely that shouldn't matter at 10dpo :s


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## SleepyOwl

Treasured - It's definitely possible to get a BFP after 10DPO!! Lxb and Pregpilot both got BFN's several times before they got their BFP's so don't count yourself out. Glad your LP is a bit longer too - one less thing on your mind. 

Lauren - Your chart looks REALLY good! I know what you mean though about lots of charts being like not and not being a BFP. BUT I hope that's not the case with yours. The dip is really promising and the temp spike is also!! If your temp stays in that higher range that is now, your chart with be triphasic and that is DEF a good sign!

It's been sooo quiet on this thread - it's so weird! I feel like everyone's busy with the good weather :) We've got a wedding today - debating whether I should have some champagne/wine at the reception even though I'm in the TWW. I'm sort of over not having a glass of wine here and there in the TWW since I haven't been pregnant so far. OH thinks it's not a big deal at all, but I suppose I'll decide when I get there. My boobs are SOO sore and my nips are super itchy. Really annoying! I keep having to subtly scratch them hoping no one notices. Should be great at the wedding today!! 

How's everyone else doing??


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## Pino6161

Hey you guys. Your not out until you are out. I know many people that didn't get their BFP's until after 13 DPO so just keep waiting. Don't give up!! FX for you both. :hugs:

So I am CD20 and extremely frustrated. My monitor is still high fertility, and my temp is still normal. I don't think I have O'd yet so I am really losing all hope here. I just don't think it was meant to be. Me and OH got in a huge fight yesterday, it ws over something really small, and I don't remember what it was about. We both sat down and we talked about everything big and small. He finally told me that this TTC is really getting to him, and every month when I get AF of he see's the BFP, his stomach drops. HE went on to say that he knows our time will come but waiting is a pain in the ass because he really wants to be a dad. I understood where he came from but that is an enormous amount of pressure. I am doing everything I can. I am in a really dark place right now, I feel like if I get a BFP this month I will be letting my OH down. IDK I'm having a really hard time right now, and in all honesty there is no one to talk to about it. No one knows we are TTC, and I really want to keep it that way because I really don't need any more pressure, but on the other hand I really need someone to talk to. I am so tired. Mentally exhausted.


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## lauren26

treasured - You can DEF get a BFP after 10dpo! I just thought that since mine was BFN at 10dpo I am out because I had a dip two days ago but still no BFP. Fx for you!

Sleepy - Thanks!!! I hope so, too....Sore boobs and itchy nips sound really promising!! It has been really quiet on here. I think weekends are slow times, lol. I just haven't had a second and can't get on at work now. I would def. have a glass or TWO of champagne or wine! Have fun, that sounds like a blast :) Hopefully you'll get nice weather--99 here today.

Pino - :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I'm so sorry you're struggling this month! I am wondering if the pressure is delaying your O. Also, I know you said you've had all the tests and then some--did your doc test your FSH and LH and AMH? My doc thought that I would just need Clomid to create 'stronger' ovulation...I don't know if you already said you've done Clomid or Letrazol before, but it sounds like it's just delayed O and could be an easy fix. Fx for you that this process speeds up a bit. I'm sorry OH is pressuring you and feels upset. There's only so much a girl can do!


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## Pino6161

Thanks Lauren. I have tried Clomid but did not help. I really hope you are right about the delayed O. Things have been hard lately. I don't think OH meant to make me feel pressured, he just wanted to let me know that he wants this to. It's just hard to comprehend if that makes sense. IDK I am trying to relax, but it's very difficult to get my mind off of it.


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## Pino6161

Hey Everyone! So I have been sucked into my world of pity:blush:, and I do apologize for that. I had a really bad emotional day yesterday, and stress has been consuming me for a while now. 

LaurenI absolutely love the dip in your chart:happydance:!! My fingers are crossed for you!! Did you take that job you got an offer on?

TreasuredMy fingers are crossed for you!! How are you feeling today??:hugs:

SahimiMimi--- Why would the Dr want you to go on birth control:shrug:? It doesnt make sense to me since you are TTC. If you are so worried and scared of the LAP, maybe your OH is right, just take it easy for a while to relax your mind and just take all the other steps in the Fall. It really just depends on what you and OH really want. For now just concentrate on you. Lots of love, and lots of :hugs:

Preg-Pilot--- I am so excited for your first scan:happydance:!! Post lots of pictures, and take it easy flying over all of our heads LOL:plane:

Sleepy--- I need to see your temps!! It makes me feel better about mine :haha:LOL!! :hugs:

Lxb---When is your scan:shrug:?? You also need to post pics :happydance:!!

Lika, Haribo, Auntcoley??? Where have you guys disappeared to???:shrug::shrug:

I hope I didn't miss anyone LOL.

Lot's and lot's of :hugs: and :dust: to everyone :happydance:


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## lauren26

Well, my temp was back down to 'normal' today, so I adjusted yesterday's. The 98.6 temp was after a solid 3....but it must have been a fluke. I will just discard and then it can come back into play if another great temp shows up, lol. It's just depressing to me to see that huge temp spike and then see it drop back down again to a normal temp! Lol. Anyway, another BFN for me so feeling out. Also, my progesterone symptoms are definitely worn off. I will probably stop the progesterone after tonight or tomorrow night and wait for AF :wacko:


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- Your not out until your out. I still have hope for you! How long are your cycles normally?? Lot's of :hugs:


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## lauren26

They are normally 27 days. This one would have been shorter because I Oed at CD12...

Also, I did take a job--it's the job I left in February, minus my terrible boss and plus a better title :happydance:.


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## Pino6161

lauren--- which mean better pay, and respect!! I am sooooo happy for you!! :dance: So in comparison to the last couple of months AF is supposed to come tomorrow? That is if my math is right. Your temps still look good to me though, so I have enough hope for the both of us LOL :hugs:


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## lauren26

AF would be due on tuesday as I'm 11dpo right now with normally 12 day lp...I am on progesterone so if I stop that tonight or tomorrow af will come within a day or two (or maybe never! Lol). My cycle was kind of messed up this month bc of the progesterone last time but we'll see... Yes wondering if my body thinks its due today because of that?? I'm confused lol.


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## Pino6161

Are you having any symptoms of AF? Our bodies can def. be confusing!! I mean look at me I am CD21 and still no O. Every month seems to be different. I hope your temps stay up for sanity's sake LOL. We don't need anyone going bonkers LOL :hugs:


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## lauren26

Haha, yes I'd prefer to stay sane this week! No I'm not getting AF symptoms besides a little anxiety but last month I didn't get any until I stopped the progesterjne, so I expect she'll stay away until I stop this month too.


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## Pino6161

Generally when are you supposed to stop progesterone? Just curious


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## lauren26

I don't really know, actually. Last time I was supposed to delay AF so that I'd be back from vacation in time to get the ultrasound done on the right day. I wanted to make sure I had at least a 13 day LP this month in case I am pg.


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## Pino6161

Oh ok, that makes sense. Well I really hope that this is your month!!! That way I can live through you :haha: :haha:


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - I still think your chart looks good. I really hope this is the month. You have your HSG scheduled right?


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## lauren26

I had the HSG! It was a few weeks ago and everything was clear. The only thing I'm waiting on is the doctors 'expert opinion' once she watches the video of it. I hope it is too!!


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## SleepyOwl

Okay wait, that's right! I knew that - clearly not thinking. I think I got you and Sashimi's lap surgery confused :blush: Whoopsie!


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## lauren26

I have a feeling tomorrow's will be low, now but hopefully I'm wrong! Honestly with all te crazy stuff that's happened in the past 3 weeks I can't help but think that it's BFP time, too! Lol. I just hate getting my hopes dashed! Fx for all of us :) can't wait to start stalking your temps again Sleepy!


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## treasured

Hello everyone! 

Sorry for my lack of input to this thread recently! Been busy with work and just went up north to visit my friends with OH for the weekend, it was really fun! 

lauren- my fingers are still crossed for you! temps sounds like a good sign although I dont know much about them yet! maybe you just need a few more days for the test to be your BFP!

pino- so sorry your having a hard time this month :( its so strange how your fertility monitor is being weird! maybe there is just no real peak? how long is your cycle usually? is it normal for you to O late?

sleepy- thanks for encouragement :) ENJOY the wedding, dont be thinking about the what ifs, a couple of glasses of champers wont do any trouble :) 

sashimi, haribo, where are youu? hope your both ok!

country, lxb and preg - how are you gals getting on? WISHING i could join you on the prego train...

So my story of late.... in life... since I just GRADUATED FROM UNI (with a distinction, which is the highest type of degree I could get hehe) so kinda chuffed with that! Anyway I just applied for a new full time job so that I can be getting a bit more money, its pretty cool, the role is a support worker, so Id basically be going round to difffernt clients that suffer from various disabilites and helping them to live a normal independant life, i.e getting their medication, helping with cooking, cleaning, paying bills and scheduling appointments. I think it would be great, sooo.. I got a call from them inviting me for an interview on tuesday, which just happens to be the day I leave for England :( TYPICAL. The woman was really nice though and I was enthusastic that I really wanted the job so she says she will be holding more interviews and then fit me in... so fingers crossed!

Anyyyyway, Im currently on day 27 of my cycle (13dpo), which is averagely 26, tested bfn on friday and I plan to test tomorow morning if AF doesnt show. Ive had minor cramps for the last few days but thats quite normal, sore boobs vanished a few days but are back now, had a kind of bruised feeling in my stomach and chest tonight and im bloated... I know these symptoms sound kinda promising but im pretty sure I have them every month lol. Country lxb preg, did you get AF type cramps before your BFP? is it normal to have them? hmmm. Ive been checking my cervix too and I think its quite hard and closed... but also feels kinda low, I dont have much CM unless I swipe up there...

oh lordy knows, Ill let you ladies know my test result tomorow :) xxxx


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## treasured

woww... forgot to mention the break down I had on friday night to OH. I literally burst into tears and started ranting at him because when I got the bfn he didnt even console me or ask how I was he just shrugged... and said 'well you didnt think it wouldwork this month anyway' as if it was MY fault that HE hadnt wanted to BD... 
I was crying and saying you cant even hug me and ask if im alright and it seems like he just doesnt care. Which resulted in him basically saying I was becoming obsessed with the whole process, just cause I get upset once a month? anyway he said he was sorry and just doesnt understand how much it affects me cause he just sees it as it will happen when it happens... ugh, we ended with a big cuddle but I still cant help thinking the time it has taken has deflated his excitement a little.

ok rant over :) thanks for reading girls xxxxx :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Treasured - CONGRATS!!! What a wonderful accomplishment :) I hope your interview goes well - that job sounds amazing. Your symptoms sound promising - I hope the witch stays far away!!

As for the wedding - I had one glass of wine and just didn't feel like drinking. My niece was there so I just danced with her the whole night on the dance floor. She totally stole the show with her cute self. People kept telling OH how beautiful his daughter was - he was like ummm....thanks, she's my niece, LOL! 

Do you guys watch any TTC entries on Youtube? It's my new obsession! I should probably stop because it's not really helping me at all - just creating a new TTC addiction :X


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## lauren26

treasured - Those symptoms sound really promising, plus AF being late! Your OH sounds like all OHs at some point during the TTC process....They just don't get it! I do think they care but they don't go through the same emotional rollercoaster as us and don't have to put as much 'work' into everything. Congrats on graduation and getting the interview!


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## treasured

ugh... so another BFN for me this morning... and I think my CM is starting to turn brownish so Im guessing im out. My cycles must be 28 days now, which I guess is good, but it confuses me about ovulation now. this is SUCH a hassle. everywhere I look im seeing unwanted pregnancies these days :( 

this will be cycle 10 now ntnp/ttc and I never thought it would come to this :( 

x


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## lauren26

Treasured I'm right there with you! My temp was down even more today and BFN....I have been using FRER and they changed their design a bit but still do this thing where a pretty obvious though faint line shows up before 1min and then disappears at 2 or 3...gets my hopes up and then dashes them every time!


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## SleepyOwl

Treasured - I'm still holding out hope for you! Did you use OPK's or chart this cycle? I know it's frustrating as each month passes by and no BFP. So frustrating because there is just so little we can do about it. :hugs: Hoping AF stays away still!

Lauren - That's strange about those FRER's! I would totally get my hopes up too! I've actually never used an FRER. Will tomorrow be your last day of taking progesterone - 13DPO right? 

Pino - How's it going sort-of cycle buddy? Lol :)

Haribo, Aunt Coley, Lika - How are you guys?

Sashimi - Are you back yet??


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- Congradulations on your graduation :dance:. All of our OH's go through the "your trying to hard" phase. My OH goes through it what seems like every time my period comes. I think that it their way of not showing their disappointment that this has not happened yet.

Treasured, and Lauren---- Sorry about the BFN's I know how hard it is, but I TRY to look at it as every BFN gets us closer to our BFP. :hugs: :hugs:

I'm so confused about O just cause my periods are not consistent. Sometimes I O early, late on time. I was hoping these pills would help stabilize it So I honestly do not know. Last month my cycle was 32 days. Before that they ranged from 30-40 it just depends. My OBGYN wanted to put me on birth control to stabilize them, but after much research I decided not to because a lot of times it hurts rather than helps. Who knows.


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## Pino6161

Sleepy--- we posted at the same time LOL :haha: I loved your high temp this morning. I figured since you are my "sort of" cycle buddy I will just live through you, and everyone else with high temps LOL :haha:


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## SleepyOwl

Pino6161 said:


> I'm so confused about O just cause my periods are not consistent. Sometimes I O early, late on time. I was hoping these pills would help stabilize it So I honestly do not know. Last month my cycle was 32 days. Before that they ranged from 30-40 it just depends. My OBGYN wanted to put me on birth control to stabilize them, but after much research I decided not to because a lot of times it hurts rather than helps. Who knows.

I hope you O soon!!! Maybe CD20 was your O day and your temp will just keep rising? Do you have any symptoms - sore boobies, ovulation pain, etc? Frustrating to play this guessing game. I'm sorry you have to deal with that!! I wish that dang monitor would say peak already!!


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## lxb

treasured - First of all, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! So great to hear about your job opportunity and what a great difference you'll make in someone's life! ahh.. i hope those are just bfp's brown cm. And yes, I do get AF type cramp before my BFP. I got them on the day AF was due (I tested since my temp was up on the day AF was due but got a clear bfn! And got cramps afterward and thought I was out). FX AF is a no show for you! I think the only "symptoms" I had was sore BBs & stomach cramps (which is the same for all cycles!)

lauren - ah... not liking your temp this morning! FRER is not as sensitive for me as it claims! I tested bfn on the day AF was due and it was supposedly able to detect as early as 6 days before we missed period~~

sleepy - yay!! temp update!!!! :dance:

pino - argh... it sounds so frustrating!! And that's the last thing you need for TTC! Seems like your temp is going back up again?


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## lxb

Oh and treasured ... Like lauren said, all of the OHs are like that at some point during TTC journey. They just can't understand what we're going through everyday. We BREATHE ttc every minute of the day.. symptom spotting... google whatever we see/think. That's why we're here to support each other as we know how it's like :hugs:


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## Pino6161

lxb--- I hope it is going back up!! but IDK cause I took it 45 min. later than usual cause I slept through my alarm!! IDK. How are you feeling today?


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## lxb

pino - I'm feeling good~~ Think I should stay away from chocolate milk!! (Milk or Hot Cocoa are just fine though~). TWO more days 'til scan! :dance: Hopefully everything will be okay.


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## Pino6161

Sleepy--- I know what you mean!! I have been slightly cramping for about a week on and off, but I think it might be in my head! my right nipple is slightly sensitive, but again IDK. The only reason I don't think I have O'd yet is that every cycle before I ovulate I like it when my OH plays with my breasts. After O I can NOT stand it! So I have no idea what is going on.


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## Pino6161

So my mo just texted me and told me my ass hole little brother's wife is being induced today. I didn't think it would hurt this bad knowing she is getting what she really doesn't deserve. The jealousy is tearing me up badly. I can't be happy for him, I just can't. I am crying because it is just not fair. He is so screwed up, and his FIL gives them everything. I have fought for what I have I have tryed so hard, and my little brother gets what I have fought for tooth and nail. It hurts


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Ladies I'm back and really wishing I'd taken the day off work today. I think I have discovered the true meaning of jet-lagged! It was a long journey home and we have a bit of post vacation depression going on, but we had a fantastic trip! We did so many cool things I Hawaii but most importantly I feel like OH and I connected in a way we haven't been able to in a long time. We have been so caught up in the chaos and emotional rollercoaster of fertility appointments, we forgot what it was like to essentially relax and have fun.

We had a long talk about the lap surgery and I've decided to hold off. Not only is if just too soon to ask for more time off work, I just feel in my gut that I should wait. Neither OH or I really understandy why the doctor wants to do the lap. We have just gone along with a lot of expensive procedures that have failed without asking any questions along the way.

Cycle monitoring appointments are extremely rushed and it's easy to feel like just another number at that clinic. I think we need a proper consultation with the doctor to get a lot of questions answered. Why the lap? What possible problems could be discovered? How long will it take to recover and ttc again? What will be next steps, ivf?? 

One thing OH brought up is that the doctor randomly said something during our last failed IUI about perhaps the sperm is swimming right past the egg... Both of us were kind of like huh?? So I think we just want to enjoy the summer, take a ttc break and then do surgery or whatever in the fall. I'm still emotionally recovering from our last failure and my mind and body need a break.

I haven't had a chance to catch up on the board. I'm on my phone now but will do a full BnB review tonight and get the latest on everyone's news!!

AF is due this Friday and Im worried the fertility I injections last month destroyed my 15 day luteal phase!! I think I Oed day 14 or 15, then at the end of last week on day 22 I randomly had EWCM with a bit of brown blood in it. Then had brown cm the next day and have had beige cm on and off since. My initial reaction is that AF is already in the works, but it's been so long since I've done any natural TTC I've forgotten what normal is for me!!


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## SashimiMimi

Ahhh Pino we posted at the same time !!! I know it's frustrating to see bfps go to those who don't try or don't deserve them. I read in the paper this morning that the former wife of a notorious Canadian serial killer was tracked down in the carribean and is now a mom... She assisted in some brutal killings of teenage girls in the 90s and all I could think was wow... Even serial killers get BFPs!! 

Don't despair Pino. I have an inspiring story for you. OH played golf with someone in Hawaii who was told he and his wife had no hope of having kids, they did every fertility procedure and drug under the sun and all of them failed. They conceived two kids naturally when they stopped trying, then the husband had a vasectomy and they got a bfp after that!!! A one in a million chance of that happening!

I know what it's like to see everyone get bfps around you and feel like you're left in the dust. You're not alone! Just remember we are all here for each other!!


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## lauren26

lxb - Me neither!! Dang temps! Yes I was VERY hopeful but I could tell last night that this morning's would be lower. I had that cold feeling in my mouth I get before AF :(. I know that I'm 'not out until AF shows' but pretty sure I'm out! That said, I don't think that FRERs are as sensitive as they claim, either. 

Sleepy - Yes, I will probably discontinue after tonight. I am 12dpo today....I don't know if I should do it one more night or not. I think I will just stop it today. Seems like if that eggy got caught it's already had time to implant. Plus I'm having some slight lower back cramps today and that makes me feel like she's coming. My CP is still low and hard but I think it's because I'm still on the hormone. I'm not hopeful anymore! Hope your temps stay nice and high :)

Sashimi - Welcome back!!! Good move on the lap. I think that you will know when it's time.

Pino - I'm sorry--it doesn't feel fair! Your time will come girl :)


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## treasured

lauren- sorry for your bfn too :( are you going to continue with the progesterone? I dont quite undertand it, like if you keep taking it will AF never come?

lxb- thank youu! still no AF, brown CM is gone as have my cramps. still have tender boobs... damnn all these positive symptoms but still BFN! surely by 12/13 dpo it shoud be bfp if i was preg? how many dpo did you get yours? 

sashimi- that ewcm with brown could be IB? maybe you just needed a natural month and this might be it!!! FX For you! and I think that taking the summer off to enjoy it is a great idea! 

pino- LOL at your O telling tactics of OH playing with boobs hehe! made me giggle! sorry about your BIL :( its so annoying when you cant have somthing that you waant so much and others that dont even deserve it get it so easily... ugh. 

sooo you gals will be proud, OH parents are on holiday so he has their house atm so I popped round after work, got into his bed naked and suprised him LOL, it was hilarious but also great cause he had no option but to accept ;) hehe. this is what will have to be done at O in future! I also thought that it might help to speed up AF cause aparently it can make it come quicker... its annoying that Im getting BFNS but no AF, i just wanna start the next cycle :( :hugs:


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## haribo813

I haven't been up to much, mostly catching up with friends over weekend, going to a 30th birthday party and yesterday we bought some nice antiques and pottered around the house.

Feeling pretty low though as normally have 28 day cycle, I got AF and lower temp this morning on day 32. Just when you think you're getting a break and some good news, nooooo!

I also received my blood test results today. The Dr called and said everything was normal which I was pleased about. Then I asked her if I had high or low progesterone levels as I had trouble working out what day to do the test on yada yada. She said we don't look at the levels, we just check if there's a shift and you're ovulating. Well l I already knew that thanks very much! Couldn't help but think what a waste of time it was shuffling to the awful hospital and clinic twice in the last month...

The Dr did also offer to book me in tomorrow to see a nurse to discuss next steps and possibly IVF. And then I cried when I heard that. I don't know why really, it's not like a complete bolt out of the blue.

Tomorrow I can apparently be referred to a fertility specialist and am wondering now what the next step is for us now. OH's sperm test came back fine, my pelvic scan fine, have 28 day cycles and this is our 12th month now TTC. Anyone know what the next tests are? I wonder if I have blocker CM like Sashimi? Sorry to rant, I don't think my 5.45am start helped this morning.

Rant over, thanks girls.

Am really pleased about Lauren and Treasured's news. Pino sorry you're having a rough time, those Clearblue fertility monitors are a bit funny. The 1st month I tried it I went from low to medium then straight to peak (missing out high) so think they take a while to get used to things. The 2nd month I used it I moved through all the phases so hoping you've just had a dud month with it. Any news Sleepy?


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## Pino6161

Thanks everyone! I had a moment of severe craziness. So it turns out that my brother called my Dad and told him about the induction of SIL today. SO my mom found out about this yesterday when she also found out she is not invited to go to the hospital. My Dad went alone. She is so upset, not cause she can not go but because my Dad went without her. He chose my brother over my mom.


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## lxb

treasured - I tested bfn on 12dpo (my avg lp is 12 -- that is with FRER!). Didn't test on 13 and 14dpo. Got a faint line on 15dpo and darker line on 16dpo~ :haha: great job on popping in to your OH naked! hahaha... I'm sure there's NO way he can resist~~~ 

haribo - so sorry to hear the dr.'s visit wasn't helpful. did you make appointment with the specialist yet?

pino - ah... sorry to hear about your dad choosing your brother over your mom. your mom definitely has the right to be upset about not being invited to the hospital. But i think your dad is in a tough position though... having to choose between seeing his grandkid or staying home with his wife.


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## Pino6161

lxb--- thats exactly it... me and my brother are born from a different mother. My mom adopted us when she married my dad. My brother has always been very disrespectful towards her. My brother has always looked at things very differently. For me my step mom is my mom. My brother doesn't see it that way. Now my dad has to choose between HIS wife or HIS son, cause as much as my mom tried my mom has struggled embracing my brother cause of the way he treats her. I take my mom's side on this mostly because coupe of years ago my dad was a different person he used to stand up for my mom and not let my brother treat her badly. e did not tolerate disrespect, as my mom gave up everything for me and my brother. She was a stay at home mom for kids that were technically not her own. After I moved out he changed, he just pretends eveything is fine, and when mom tells him what is going on he tells her to drop it. He is a very differrent person and I think that is why mom Mom has the hardest time.


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## lauren26

treasured - I will probably stop tonight...If I thought I was pg I'd continue, but those temps are sucking a butt right now. Lol. Plus I got a little EWCM this afternoon :( It just goes to show that a chart that starts to look really nice doesn't always end up being the one, and charts that look 'bad' are sometimes the winners! Ugh. Anyway, I don't know that AF would stay away forever. Probably not, but last month she held off until a day after I stopped progesterone. I am getting some little cramps today so I think she's knocking at the door...

haribo - The next steps might involve an HSG and possibly a lap to see if there is anything that's invisible on the ultrasound that might be hindering your progress. I wouldn't jump to IVF yet--I'd have those tests run first! I am with you, though. This is cycle 12 for us and is looking to be another BFN. GL.

Pino - Family stuff is hard!! Hang in there, girl. Try not to let others' conflicts bring you down.


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## lauren26

Hey ladies, I mean to ask you all this every cycle--maybe I have already! For tempers, if you don't get three hours straight of sleep, do you temp when you wake up before or after your normal time? I have woken up at 5:14 on the dot almost every day this cycle, to get up and pee. So I temp then! But for the last few days I've woken at around 4 and then again at 6...times equally close to 5 and I havent gotten three full hours before either of those times (have also been waking up at 2 and 3 some nights yuck). So of course to confuse things I've temped twice on these days. I know! I'm not supposed to. Is the general rule that you take the earlier temp? Thanks gals. I need to stop obsessing...


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## treasured

Hiii girls! Just a quick post from the train down south, still no show of af :s im confused, cd 29 which is very odd for me, no cramping at all :s trying nit to get hopes up but also wish she would come if she is coming so that I can drink without worrying this trip! Goddd knows what tooo think :s x


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- I would take the first temp cause the 2nd you don't sleep at least 3 hours. It might make your chart look funny, but it's the most accurate. Your chart looks great so far though so don't worry too much!! :hugs:

Treasured--- I have a tendency to look at your ticker to see where you are before reading your post, so I was confused for a minute :haha: Try to relax, and let's not scare AF into coming LOL :haha: FX FX :dust: :hugs:


So my temp shot up today, but my monitor is still on high fertility. I am starting to think it was a waste of a hundred and some dollars so I am kinda ticked off. I didn't have any EWCM either (I never really had it, but I hoped these pills would help that) And I didn't have sex yesterday cause me and OH got into a bit of a argument. So I can't help but think that I am out.


----------



## treasured

Ohhhh im out :( af snuck up on me! 28 day cycle now tho atleast I guess... Good luck everyone else x


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- :hugs: I am sorry stupid witch!!


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## Pino6161

So If I discard the spike I had on CD16 FF says I ovulated on Saturday CD20. What should I do? Should I keep it discarded, ok keep the temp. I am so confused and frustrated. We had sex on CD20 but not on CD21 or CD22. We will have sex today just in case, but I am so worried, confused, frustrated!! HELP :haha:


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## lxb

lauren - i think i would do the same thing as you do! taking 2 different temps! Then I would choose which one is closest to the previous temp~ :haha: You're right though.. you're generally supposedly take the first temp and just remember to put a note that you temp earlier that day. Just peak at your chart... not liking the drop below the coverline :gun:

pino - Hmmm... I think discarding the temp at cd16 sounds like the good idea as your temp today is way high! Definitely can see the frustration with the monitor~ :dohh: Yep.. BD today just in case! :dance:

treasured - :hugs: bfp on next cycle it shall be~!!


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## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> Hey ladies, I mean to ask you all this every cycle--maybe I have already! For tempers, if you don't get three hours straight of sleep, do you temp when you wake up before or after your normal time? I have woken up at 5:14 on the dot almost every day this cycle, to get up and pee. So I temp then! But for the last few days I've woken at around 4 and then again at 6...times equally close to 5 and I havent gotten three full hours before either of those times (have also been waking up at 2 and 3 some nights yuck). So of course to confuse things I've temped twice on these days. I know! I'm not supposed to. Is the general rule that you take the earlier temp? Thanks gals. I need to stop obsessing...

If waking up at my normal time means I won't get 3 hours of sleep, I force myself to sleep 3-4 full hours, set my alarm and temp then. If I wake up in the middle of the night, but have pretty much been sleeping all night, I'll get up at my normal time and temp. If I get up 30mins to an hour before my normal temping time I'll just use that early temp because chances are I'm not falling back asleep. Yesterday morning I got up at 6:05 and just used that as my temp even though I laid in bed til 6:45 in and out of sleep. I don't know if there's any right answer for this problem though. 

I feel like I just made a BBT decision tree, LOL! I don't know if any of that made sense though :blush:


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- I don't like today's temp at all!!


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## SleepyOwl

Haribo - Glad that you and OH's tests came out fine. I think even though in your mind you knew IVF was a real possibility, that doesn't mean it makes it any easier. And maybe there are other options to explore before jumping into that. Wish the appointment went a little better. We're here for you :hugs:

Treasured - Sorry about the witch. At least now she's here and you can start over!! Enjoy your trip :)

Sashimi - Welcome back!! Sounds like you're making a good decision about holding off on the lap surgery and fertility treatments. Take all the time you need to get your body and mind back to where they need to be! You definitely should go at your own speed and not be rushed. However, that brown CM/spotting totally sounds like IB and I'm hoping it is! Fingers crossed that your mom was right :)


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Sleepy!!! I officially cancelled the lap today and requested a one on one with my doctor so that I can ask questions about the lap and what it involves exactly without him rushing off to the next cycle monitoring appointment. I feel good knowing that I won't be getting sliced open in two weeks and now I have time to mentally prepare for it down the road. It's so easy to go along with these fertility things blindly and get caught up in the emotional roller coaster and it's time to sit back and ask questions before moving on.

Can IB be brown?? I always thought it was supposed to be pink... I haven't really had any spotting since that one day where it was brown blood trapped in a glob of EWCM about 7dpo. It would be nice if I got a fairy tale Hawaiian BFP, but last night I had mild cramps sore back and a soreish throat so I felt kind of deflated.

I still haven't caught up on this board!! I'm completely jet lagged!!! How is everyone doing!?


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## Pino6161

SashimiMimi-- I hope that your body is playing tricks on you!! You deserve your BFP without being cut open! :hugs: I am glad you are back as I missed you LOL. When anyone goes off board for more than a day I get all confused LOL. I am the type of person that enjoys consistency LOL :haha: Did you have lot's of fun at least?? :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Pino we had an amazing time!!! It's the only vacation I've had where I did not want to leave and I'm actually depressed to be back!! There is so much natural beauty on the island of Kauai, it just feels wrong to be in a loud smoggy city now.

Well I guess we will see... AF is due Friday!


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## Pino6161

I haven't been on a vacation besides family ones when I was a teenager and I think they scarred me LOL. Driving across country in a motor home with 3 siblings is not cool LOL. Right now we are saving for the move, but I think hopefully in like 20 years we can have one LOL :haha:

I am nervous for you LOL BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! :haha: I was trying to scare AF so it stays away :haha: did it work??? :haha: :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Well honestly those mild cramps are gone today. Here's hoping!!!


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## Pino6161

:haha: I'm glad. Let's try to keep it away!! :hugs:


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## lxb

Welcome back Sashimi~~ :hugs: Kauai is simply amazing isn't it?? It makes you feel sooo much healthier with just the air alone! I'm hoping that the brown cm is IB too!!! And I'm still rooting for your souvenir bean from hawaii~~ :dance: :dance:


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## lauren26

Hey y'all! Sashimi, that sounds pretty promising!! Hoping that it means you get your BFP real soon. :)

Thanks for the temping advice, ladies. I adjusted a few based on what you all said plus what a temping 'expert' on FF told me to do. Still, I think today's is tell-tale of what's to come! I really feel disappointed. I thought it would be the month. I feel really naive and silly for hoping. It seems like my chart was looking great and then something went wrong...? Anyway, BFN today so I am just waiting for AF. Progesterone over. Light cramps but no blood yet. More later, I'm at work!


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## lxb

Oh lauren :hugs: it's perfectly normal to feel what you're feeling. There would be something seriously wrong with you if you don't hope!! :haha: The most important thing is knowing you do all that you could within your power and your time will come. :hugs:


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## lauren26

Thanks, lxb. This month feels hard!!! I have run the gamut of emotions about TTC and I just _felt _like it worked this time! Thanks for being supportive :hugs:.


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## haribo813

Lauren, totally know what you mean, I am a bit emotional at the moment to say the least, crying one moment, angry the next...I'm really fed up with this whole TTC malarkey and struggling to cope with how unfair it feels. I need to call tomorrow to make an appointment with the fertility specialist.

Pino sorry you're having a rough time with the monitor, you never know it might surprise you with good news this month. They do say it's always the months you least suspect when miracles happen.

Treasured sorry also that AF caught up on you but good signs that your cycle is that bit longer now.

Sashimi, i heard that IB should be brownish as it's old rather than new blood...am keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Sleepy what day in your cycle are you on now?

Lxb, is it scan time tomorrow? So exciting, tell us what your lovely bean looks like!

Sorry I'm no fun at the moment ladies! I can be like this for a day or two each cycle and then always perk up but at the moment this black cloud doesn't seem to want to lift xxxx


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## countrygirl86

Hi Ladies :) Lauren and haribo, sorry you both are feeling down. I think not only is it normal to feel down as AF approaches/arrives, I think there's some hormones going on too that make you feel that way whether it's AF or BFP coming. The cycle I got my BFP I went a little crazy after watching that movie "What to Expect" because I felt so hopeless, meanwhile I was only a few days from finding out I was pg. It's hard to gear yourself up for AF while wanting that BFP so bad, just to have AF actually show up. You all are doing so much to further along your TTC journey and I hope you can take comfort in knowing you do more than a lot of people. 

Welcome back Sashimi, you were definitely missed! This crazy lady thread needs you! Glad your vacation was so incredible. Hope you are able to beat that end-of-vaca-funk. I'm glad you've decided what feels right for you with the lap. A stress-free TTC summer sounds wonderful! Judging by what you've been through you don't want to waste your summer away with doctor's appointments and stress. 

Happy Raspberry, almost green olive LXB! How are you holding up?

Pino, I keep forgetting you are so young, you are mature for your age! It's nice to hear that DH wants a baby so strongly too. It's hard not to take it personally and think it's the woman's fault since we are the ones who house the thing! Are you using OPKs too or just the monitor? 

Hi treasured, Sleepy and all the other fine ladies on here!

I had my first prenatal appt today, doc seemed a little concerned about my spotting and near fainting yesterday so I'm going for bloodwork tomorrow. I'm not stressing out about it since I've had no cramping or pain. I'd rather start thinking about how we're going to break the news!


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## Pino6161

Thanks Country... Many people have trouble guessing my age cause I look young and act old LOL :haha: It is mostly cause I had to grow up very quickly when I was 17. I didn't use OPK's this cycle. My OH seems to think i should throw the monitor away :haha: They manual says that if you don't get a pee try dipping the stick, but I have done that from the start so IDK I think I will call the hotline if my temp is still high and get a replacement. Since finances are going to be tight I might just temp and OPK cause I'm not sure if I trust the monitor after this month. IDK. I don't feel like this is my month even though I kinda hope it is just cause we didn't BD right after O. IDK


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## SashimiMimi

Mini vent: I'm on a packed bus right now trapped beside a woman going on and on about how she is 13 weeks PG!!! It's put me in a mood so I'm listening to loud rap music to drown it out!!!! Lol!!


----------



## Pino6161

OH hun I am sorry!! Tell her to shut up :haha:


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## SashimiMimi

I think it's amazing how many pregnant women I see in a day. It's like a constant reminder that it's not me!! I guess I just notice it more because it's basically all I think about. 

I really felt like I missed all of you ladies while I was away, even though we are still connecting through cyber space it was tough being out of the loop on the board!! 

Country sorry to hear you have been feeling a little off, but you have a great attitude not to worry. I guess doctors just want to cover all their bases but your intuition knows best. I have heard spotting is quite normal in early PG. Just rest and take it easy!

Lxb I'm excited for your scan!! I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and can't wait to hear all about it.

Pino that monitor sounds frustrating. Have both you and OH both had complete fertility check ups from your doctor?? Have you thought about seeing a reproductive endocrinologist? I'm learning there is so much involved in actually getting a BFP, like our doctor said sperm can swim right past the egg. It's like every little thing has to be just right, it truly amazes me. Still it's frustrating when everything comes back clear and you do everything right and still nothing. 

Haribo I can see you online right now!! How are you? What's the latest status with your fertility doctor. I've also been having roller coaster emotions. I'm terrified every time I go to the washroom because I'm terrified AF is about to sneak up on me. I'm not going to test, I've decided. Just going to wait it out. I've drank and eaten whatever I want during this tww and it's been really nice, so I don't have high expectations based on my track record so far.

I didn't get a call or email back from my clinic on the lap cancellation and the request to have a consultation with my doctor. It feels like that clinic is too busy for their own good and they can't take the the time to discuss fears and emotions. I appreciate them being so results driven, I'd just like to see the results without being sliced open so to speak...


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## Pino6161

We have been cleared fertility wise. When we get to Oklahoma I think we will see a specialist. Right now we are trying to save our money and our insurance expired. IDK I think for now we will try on our own using all of these gadgets :haha:


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## lxb

Ah yes. We all notice all the preggo ladies because that's on our mind 24/7!

We sure miss you sashimi~~ :hugs: 

Has the clinic always been this way? Is it the staff? Certainly doesn't feel good to be just a number at the clinic. I hope you can find the answers you needed~ 

I'm still rooting for your souvenir! O yeah... :haha: did you manage to find an inflatable shark??? :haha:


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## haribo813

It made me laugh when you said you could see me online Sashimi! I almost looked around my living room...!

I saw a nurse today and she basically filled in forms so she can refer me to see a fertility specialist. She asked me quite a few questions. Apparently you can't be referred if you're a smoker but you can be referred if you've got HIV?! You also can't get referred if you've ever been pregnant or if your partner has had a child; or at least not referred at my stage of things. As it's all done on our national health service and is free I suppose they set the rules but it did intrigue me.

I'm going to ring up tomorrow and arrange to meet the specialist to discuss what we should do next but it won't be for a while as not back in UK until 7 July. We're off on hols on Thu and it's our last month to get pregnant before we both turn 31 in August, it really would be the best present.

Totally know that feeling of being scared to look at your knickers when you go to the loo...am crossing all my fingers for everyone for whom AF is threatening-instead more pregnant ladies please! xx


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## Pino6161

I HAD TO SHARE MY NEWS!!!! MY MOM JUST TOLD ME THAT MY LITTLE BROTHER AND SISTER WILL BE HERE IN ARIZONA WITH MY GRANDMOTHER FOR 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!! THEY WILL BE IN SHOW LOW, AND THEN AFTER THE HOLIDAY WEEKEND THEY ARE COMING TO THE VALLEY!!!!!!!! I AM SOOOOOOOOO EXCITED I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM IN A YEAR!!!!!!! :dance::happydance::dance::happydance::dance::happydance::dance:
:happydance::dance::happydance::dance::happydance::dance::happydance:


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## lauren26

Pino - Great news!! Family stuff is nice when it's family you like ;)

Sashimi - That's ridiculous that the clinic hasn't called back yet! I think it's just confirmation that you need to sit down and have a longer talk with your doctor before a lap. That's rough having to be stuck next to someone like that on the subway. I saw three pg women after work and it was a reminder to me, as well, that it's not me. My boss kept looking at my progesterone pooch yesterday and I could tell he was wondering if it was a bump! I wanted to be like 'No!! It's the opposite!' Holding out for you :)

lxb - Tomorrow's the day??? Will be thinking of you and praying that all if PERFECT :) Can't wait to hear how it went! And so excited for your trip!

Country - Thanks :hugs:. It's been a rough one!

Still waiting on stupid AF. Last cycle I stopped progesterone at the same time and she came on 14dpo. A little cramping here and there and one swipe of pink CM but that's it so far...I hope she doesn't drag out her arrival. 

Sorry to anyone I missed! It's been a long day here. We have a fire very close to Boulder and threatening city limits so I had to rush around at work and stay late because we have clients to take care of etc. It's pretty crazy--there are over 10 fires in Colorado right now I think!


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## preg_pilot

Hey guys. Lots of pages to read through today, but this is the one thread I had to get caught up on.
Work has been crazy for the last 5 days. Basically just, work, eat and sleep...
I´ve also noticed all the pregnant ladies at work. With almost no exceptions, there is always one pregnant stewardess on each flight. So cute to see their little bumps under their dresses.

I´ve really missed you guys.
Feeling alright atm. Queasy on and off, and my preggy pop drops stop that dead in the tracks. Just pop on in my mouth, and the queasiness fades away. Miracle popsicles.

Boobs killing me, and the baby is stretching today (the uterus is growing a lot), meaning that my queasiness is not as bad as usual. It seems like I get one or the other. Not both together, which is good.



pino- yeah, I´ll definitely be posting my pictures, if I do get a scan. I´m not sure how the first appointment goes. I guess that depends on how long you´ve gone when you go.

treasured - feeling alright, thanks :)
and I only got my bfp on 25 DPO... so...
sorry about your AF though :hugs:

I wish I could be more thorough, but I really must go to sleep (it´s half past 1am).
Fingers crossed to all who are waiting, and :hugs: for you all :D


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## SashimiMimi

Tons of brown spotting tonight. AF is on its way, so I'm out. I'm really losing faith and feeling like this is just never going to happen for me.


----------



## lauren26

Sashimi :hugs:. I feel you. I got the slightest pink and more cramping tonight. The biggest thing is my yucky temps. I think I'm right there with you and I expect AF by the end of tomorrow.


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren somehow we got on the exact same schedule!!! At least we can grieve together!!! ;)


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren and Sashimi - So sorry about AF!! The worst part is just waiting for her to actually show :hugs:

Sashimi - I think the other girls are right in saying that the fact that the clinic hasn't called you back is probably a sign that you are making a wise decision in postponing your procedure. I too see pregnant women EVERYWHERE. I went to my mom's company picnic and there were pregnant ladies and newborn babies everywhere. 

Lauren - Ummmmm those fires sound dangerous!! Are those super common in Colorado? Hope AF comes sooner rather than later if she's going to show. I hate when she's fashionably late. 

Preg - Glad you're feeling a little better with the queasiness. Thank goodness you found those preg pops! 

Pino - That is SO exciting. I looove seeing family - I can only imagine how thrilled you are as it's been so long. Do you live nearby to your grandmother?? I hope you get to see your brother and sister LOTS while they're in AZ :)

Haribo - Are you going anywhere for holiday? I hope everything goes smoothly when setting up the appts tomorrow. Keep us posted!!

Lxb - I am so freaking excited for your scan!! Praying it goes well friend. 

AFM, nothing new except I'm super fat right now and gassy. I literally can't even suck my stomach in. I think it's because I had a soda super late tonight. Might also be the reason I can't sleep :/ I totally don't want to get up and temp tomorrow or wipe because I'm afraid it will be a sign of the impending doom that is AF.


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## lauren26

She got me, snuck in this evening! Grrrrr. Sleepy, potentially dangerous, yes! We're safe for now but it's so smoky we have to keep our windows shut and it's HOT.


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## Pino6161

Sleepy-- I am trying to mind force AF away for you :haha: My grandma lives about an hourish away, but I'm not worried about driving, they are so worth it!!

Lauren--- Stay safe with that fire up there!! Sorry AF got you again. :hugs:

On a seperate note the last 2 days I have had bad heartburn. Since I started the diet I haven't had it. Usually I get it if I drink milk or eat ice cream, ramen noddle etc. except I am not allowed to eat that so IDK what is going on. I am only drinking water. IDK it's frustrating. As I said time to symptom spot :haha:


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## SashimiMimi

You know that stomach feeling you get right when you get to the top of a hill on a roller coaster?? It's like your stomach drops when you go racing down that hill. Well I'm getting that every time I sit down to go to the bathroom today in anticipation of AF starting. It's so stupid! It's like I know she is coming but my stomach does flips waiting for it to start.

Left a voice message at my clinic this morning. Still haven't received a call or email back to a) confirm cancellation of the surgery b) to set up a chat with my doctor. 

Sigh!!!


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## Pino6161

Sash--- I know the feeling from apending doom, I know it doesn't help knowing Af's stupid track record. :hugs:

Ok so I know yesterday Lauren had issues w/ her temp well now it is my turn.... I woke up this morning a 5 and went to the bathroom without even thinking about it so I didn't take my temp. I dozed off a bit and took my temp and it was low. So knowing I am supposed sleep at least 3 hours, I went back to bed. Well I was only able to sleep until 8:30AM before my body was screaming to wake up. Well I took my temp and it was higher. Which one do I use?? On my chart I put the high one today and the low one tomorrow so you can look at them. thanks you guys :hugs:


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## Pino6161

Sleepy-- I love your temp today!!!!!!!


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## SleepyOwl

Thanks Pino! Pretty glad it went up so considerably, but I don't know if it was a fluke or not. Since I haven't temped so many days post-O, I have no idea if this is actually high or not. Plus I slept over at my parent's last night and I felt SO hot when I woke up. I don't know if I felt hot because my temp was so high, or if my temp was so high because I was hot!! Also I temped 45 minutes earlier than usual because I was about to pee my pants!! I just had to get up. I kept temping though to see if my temp was still that high and it was around 97.6 after I had gotten up then I slept for another two hours and it was back up in the 98's. Not sure if that means anything though. No sign of AF but I'm only 11DPO. Earliest I've had spotting has been 12DPO, so I think tomorrow I'll have a better idea. I hope my temp stays up!! I hate having hope like this only to be let down. 

As for your temp, I would prob take the first temp. I always find that after I walk around my temp is usually higher (with today as the exception). One day though probably won't make a huge difference in your chart if it's a little off. 

Sashimi - I know exactly how you feel!! I feel like butterflies in my stomach every time I use the bathroom thinking that I'm going to start spotting. I can't believe the office STILL hasn't called. That is just crazy!!


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## Pino6161

So use the low temp??


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## Pino6161

OK, so when I use the low temp fo today it makes my ovulation day go away. I am so confused. This morning the low temp was when I walked around, the high temp was after I slept for 2.5 hours


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## SleepyOwl

I mean I don't know if there's a right answer, but I *think* that's what I would do. Temping is so complicated!!


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## SleepyOwl

Pino6161 said:


> OK, so when I use the low temp fo today it makes my ovulation day go away. I am so confused. This morning the low temp was when I walked around, the high temp was after I slept for 2.5 hours

Hmm okay, then I might use the high temp. SO COMPLICATED!! LOL!! I thought FF was supposed to make this easier :wacko:


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## Pino6161

Also when I use the high temp it moves my o day to cd 21 from cd20


----------



## lxb

what was the high temp after doozing off? and what was the temp at 8:30?
what time do you normally temp?

yeah.. temping is confusing!!


----------



## Pino6161

UGGGGGG so comfused LOL stupid FF


----------



## Pino6161

Ok so timeline

5:00 woke up to pee---did not temp
barely dozed off
6:00 took temp and it was low
fell asleep
8:30 took temp and it was high

I usually take my temp at 6:00


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## SleepyOwl

Or what if you googled BBT adjustor and input the high temp with the time you temped out and see what your temp should have been? I don't know if those adjustors work or not, but it's worth a shot.


----------



## lxb

lower temp is 97.2
higher temp is 97.9

?


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## Pino6161

Ok so I used the adjuster and it was higher than the first one but alot lower than the 2nd


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## Pino6161

1st temp--low---97.22
2nd temp--high---97.91

BBT adjuster---97.41


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## lxb

Pino6161 said:


> 1st temp--low---97.22
> 2nd temp--high---97.91
> 
> BBT adjuster---97.41

Sounds about right. Don't think you should use 97.91 as it's 2.5 hours later than your usual temp time! But either one showed a dip~ Hoping it's implantation dip :dance:


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## Pino6161

Ok people so I adjusted my chart using the bbt adjuster and it made it look mostly normal without me scraping half of my temps. I used the adjusted temp for today using the adjuster as well


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## Pino6161

isn't 4DPO to early for implantation?


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## lxb

:shrug: if you look at my chart.. I had a slight dip on 4dpo too~ hope it's a good sign! :dance:


----------



## Pino6161

:dance: it's funny cause every night my OH wants to look at your chart and compare them LOL it's sweet. 

I am trying not to get my hopes up, but it's getting hard not to


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## Pino6161

So I found this, and it gave me some hope.

https://www.ingender.com/cs/forums/t/106630.aspx


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## SashimiMimi

I feel like AF is like an old car that doesn't want to start. I can feel it coming and then it goes away. There was nothing all morning, then just now had some pinky brown CM that had a rather EW consistency. Can't say I've ever had this but it's obvious that AF is trying to start.

I wrote my mom to inform her that there will be no Hawaii miracle and her "I just have a feeling" is wrong. I mentioned that I've been going home every day after work and crying and I guess I'm just one of those women who can't have kids.

She told me to focus on all the good things in my life: great OH, good job with good people, loving family, a hilarious cat!!! It's so easy to focus on the one thing I don't have and can't seem to make happen!!!!!


----------



## Pino6161

Sash-- I know the feeling. TTC can consume a person. Whether you are in Hawaii or at home there is always that nagging voice in the back of your mind. I would agree with your mom, but that would make me a hypocrite as I am the same way. Just know that you can always talk to us and be honest on here. Pressure from family can be hard especially when you know your mom has extremely high hopes for you, so you can't help hoping too. Yesterday my mom (who does not know we are TTC) took my siblings to the hospital to see my brother's kid and she texted me to hurry up and have kids so we can both be a part of it. It's like she put a foot in her mouth without knowing. I know your mom put some pressure saying she "knew" you would get pregnant over your vacation. The only thing you can really do is to embrace the pain of knowing this was not your month while trying not to give up hope that next month might be. Just a shimmer of hope my Aunt tried for 5 years had 2 failed IUI's and 2 failed IVF's and still got her little miracle. The world works in mysterious ways. Who knows maybe your body is playing tricks on you. I know right now it seems hopeless, but please don't give up on your dreams. :hugs: :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks Pino. I really needed to hear that. I'm glad I have this board with everyone who has and is currently going through the same thing. We have had some bfps in here recently which is inspiring! And the support of others who are going on the 1 or 2 year ttc mark is a great way to help each other.

Haribo saw that you wrote you are turning 31!! Happy early bday! I just turned 31 and OH turned 38 on our trip away. We were hoping for a bday holiday BFP but I guess that won't be the case. On to cycle 13...


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## lauren26

Pino - Whew, the temp stuff IS confusing!! Looks like you got it figured out and I'm hoping it's an implantation dip, too :)

Sashimi - I am still holding out hope for you this month. I feel you, though. I have been feeling really sad every day that this is the one thing I don't feel 'successful' at. I am really comforted by you other ladies who are past the 1 year mark, too. This cycle starts 13 months for me--probably 14 cycles, though. 

LXB HOW WAS YOUR SCAN?!!!!!!!!?!??!?!?!

Sleepy - OOOOOO temp's looking good!!! I will be watching your chart like a hawk.

So crampy today it's sucky. Our fire in Boulder is calming down I think/hope but the news last night showed one in Colorado Springs, about 2 hours south of me, that tripled in size in the past 48 hours and 32,000 people were evacuated. It's insane and makes me feel really, really sad. I hope that everyone's pet(s) got out safe!! Anyway, it's the only time I've ever seen a fire in CO start to destroy an entire town. Really sad. Helps me keep perspective on TTC, though I'm still sad about that, too!

Sorry to anyone I missed I've been crazy busy but will try to get on tonight.


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## Pino6161

Lauren-- I really hope it is too, but I"m afraid my hopes are too high. My OH called me just now talking about when we move when I get pregnant, the car situation, who all will be at the birth, and it made me really nervous. I am afraid if this is not our month it will break his heart!! For the first time I am actually scared that this this is not my month, as my hopes are getting very high. I am keeping track of the fire up there as I know 3 people that were evacuated, and one that lost her house. Stay safe. :hugs:

Sash--- I know what you mean. Although it is extremely satisfying seeing the positives on here, I can't help thinking what about me? completely selfish, but surprisingly normal.


----------



## countrygirl86

Sashimi - that is ridiculous you haven't heard back from the clinic. Further confirms that a slow down is a good idea! I'm also wondering if you got all of the souvenirs for your niece? Is there anyway the spotting could be implantation? It is true what your mom said but that doesn't make it easier to apply to your life. 

Pino - I know I'm a bit late with my opinion but I'd go with the first (or adjusted) temp. I had a dip at what would have been 5 dpo but on my chart looked like 4 dpo... Yay for family! That will be a nice break for you and a great relief from the tww!

haribo - must be a relief to be getting somewhere! Those are some interesting rules lol 

lxb - How'd the scan go?????

lauren - sorry the witch got you. Sounds like you either have a cycle buddy or this thread will have another BFP, both are good things! Hope the fires stay far away from you and they are able to contain them. The damage is unbelievable. 

Sleepy - your temps look good! When are you planning to test?

I had some bloodwork this morning since I've been having a bit of spotting and my doctor called to give me an ultrasound appointment in July and appointment with my OB for October. I'm excited to hear about lxb's appointment and pregs is coming up soon too!


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## haribo813

Boo to the arrival of unwelcome AFs on here...they weren't invited. And fx for those still in the game-I'm looking at you Sleepy and Pino (and Treasured I think?)

I'm off to France tomorrow. I plan not to do much except swim in the pool, read lots of books, eat copious amounts of baguettes and cheese and enjoy meals on the terrace outside. We're back in a week and a bit but I'm sure I'll check in with you all while I'm away to see how everyone is.

To be honest I'm a bit depressed to be turning 31. I feel like I have little to celebrate in the last year - no baby, promotion at work. All I'm celebrating is that I've kept going I suppose, seems a bit sad!

We are very lucky to have each other on here. I am still cranky despite getting AF on Mon-I feel a little out of control and pity my poor OH and family who I have been ranting to. Hopefully my holiday will help me forget it for a while-maybe there'll be less pregnant people in France?! There's definitely less people in the remote little village we're in than London, that's for sure! I've also ditched acupuncture for a few months to have a break-the guy sent me a sweet text saying it still works its magic after you've finished the 3 month course-here's hoping. Am wondering what approach to take this month...we tend to BD every day or other day from about day 9 to a day or so after I've ovulated but that hasn't been working so perhaps I should try a new tack, anyone have any thoughts?

The first appointment I can get for a fertility doc at the moment is Monday 24 September! Can you believe it?! I'm going to call again and see if anyone can sort me out with something sooner.

Sashimi-sorry about your rubbish clinic and AF, Pino-poor you with your mum's comment. She obviously didn't mean to upset you but know how that kind of remark hurts. But yay to nice family coming to stay, that's great news. Lauren-hope you aren't getting too hot inside with all those windows closed! Sorry also about your AF, and after such a nice chart month too.

Lxb-we want scan pics!
Pregpilot-keep popping those pills and hope the symptoms don't get too much.
Country-how are you feeling? And how ARE you going to break your news? Hope everything's ok with you lady.

Off to pack xx

ps-does anyone else fall off the wagon a bit food-wise when they get their AF?! Things like really strong coffees, alcohol at home, soft cheeses-basically all the stuff you were worrying that you maybe shouldn't eat in 2ww?! Or is just me?!


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## lxb

pino - Yay for family visit!!! :dance:

sashimi - I'm hoping the brown spotting is just IB! Did you end up finding inflatable shark??? :haha:

lauren - Eeekk about the fire!! Been looking at the news/pictures and it's definitely horrifying~ 

sleepy - can't wait to see your temp tmr!!

country - hope all goes well with bloodwork

afm, scan is in 2 hours~~~~ I'm feeling nervous and :sick:!! :wacko:


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## lxb

haribo - yay for france!!! :haha: u'r not alone! I always got a cup of coffee when AF showed up! And eat all the non-preggo safe food (like raw fish in sushi~~) :haha:


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## SleepyOwl

Haribo - I totally do the same thing! I spend a day or two indulging in sushi, alcohol, lots of coffee, every soft cheese I have in my possession, lol. With that said - have a blast in France!! Wine and cheese, yummmm!!!

Country - I'm planning on testing Saturday morning provided my temp stays up and I have no spotting tomorrow or Friday. Trying to stay positive and hoping for the best!! 

Lxb - I feel like time is standing still!! Can it be time already for that scan???


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## SashimiMimi

Haribo, I ate half a bag of Starburst candy last night and my pee was fluorescent red this morning as a result!! I feel, especially now, because I am used to eating a lot while on vacation that I just want to snack all the time! I have every intention of doing a strict detox, but I will find it sooo hard. France will be amazing, it is the one place in the world I want to go that I haven't been! 

Sleepy, I could live on soft cheeses alone! 

Lxb Good luck! I think the scan is about an hour away. I had some brown blood mixed in with some EWCM about a week after I Oed on day 22 of my cycle. It went away and now I'm on day 28 and have had about 2 days of on and off brown/pink CM. This was always the start of AF for me before I started going to the fertility clinic. I really had high hopes that some sort of vacation miracle would happen, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Who knows if I even released an egg this month after doing two cycles of hardcore fertility drugs.

Country, I agree it is annoying they have not called me back. It is now 6:45 Toronto time and I first emailed them at 7:30 yesterday morning and then called today at 8 a.m. Even if they don't know when they can schedule me in to see my doctor for a non cycle monitoring visit, you would think they could at least acknowledge me! My mom said for the amount of money we are spending there they should be answering every question I have!

Haribo's Sept 24 fertility clinic appointment makes me feel lucky that I can drop in whenever I want for cycle monitoring and do IUIs with no wait list whatsoever... But why can't they answer me when I have questions about being knocked out and sliced open? Especially if I am going to go bankrupt for IVF one of these days! I think I remember there being a 2 month wait to have my initial visit with the doctor. 

Lauren I saw those fires on the news last night. How terrifying!


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## SashimiMimi

Oh and I found a wind up shark for the bath!!! As close as I could get to the blow up shark!!!! Niece is getting necklace, bracelet and shells I had to purchase because only lava seems to wash up on Kauai beaches!!


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## SashimiMimi

AF got me first thing this morning. I've had two days of spotting to accept it at least...

I'm dying to hear from lxb!


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## Pino6161

Sash--- Sorry AF got you. lxb posted last night on her journal :hugs:


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## lxb

Sashimi - sorry that af got you! :gun: :growlmad:

Afm, the scan didn't go well at all. I am supposedly 8w4d, and the nurse measured me at 6 or 7 wks. And couldn't see anything. All I saw was a big black blob. :(. She said it might still be too early. She did the ultrasound on my belly. My sis told me they did vaginal u/s with her. So not sure if that was why we couldn't see anything? And not sure why I wasn't offer that either. Maybe she didn't detect any heartbeat and that's why she didn't offer? My mind just went blank when I didn't see anything and didn't even think of asking those questions. 

The dr prepared me for the worst case scenario. It is common to have the egg implanted and not fertilized. And there is not much test she can do on me. The only thing I need to do now is to go for bloodwork today.. And once more after my trip next week. Then I will go in for another u/s. by then, they should be able to compare the blood level from 2 different drawings and see if they can see anything a week from today.

Dh and I were pretty deflated. I tried not to cry but it is hard not knowing. After a while, I figure I can't and shouldn't be sad right now because there will be plenty of time to do that next week if that turned out to be the worst case, right? :thumbup:


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## preg_pilot

Fingers crossed for you lxb, I hope it´s just still too early. :hugs:

I went to the midwife today.
Nothing much happened, she asked a bunch of questions, and gave me some pamphlets.
She tried listening to the heartbeat, but we couldn´t hear anything.
She said it´s likely it´s still too early.
Then she sent me to a blood exam, and that was it for today.
Next appointment is at the hospital for a sonar on the 16th of july, and then on the 27th again with the midwife.
No news is good news?

I miss ya guys.
Working like crazy these days. (I have a vacation coming up from the 5th to the 16th of july),.


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## Pino6161

Ok you guys. I need some more advice :blush: TMI. You know when you are on your period and you go number 2? :blush: and when you push it kinda hurts the cervix, like it is almost sore? :blush: well the last 2 days I have been feeling like this when going to the restroom :blush:. Do you think there is something wrong with me? It has never happened before besides when I am on my period. I feel fine after I go, and before I go, but while I am going is the problem :blush:.


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## SashimiMimi

Oh, lxb!! I'm sorry the scan didn't go as planned, but like a lot of people are saying its still really early. Please don't worry and don't let it ruin your trip. I'm sending lots of positive thoughts your way, I'm staying confident that your little popcorn is growing strong and healthy. 

After all we go through with ttc all scans should go flawlessly. Lxb, I hope you know how much we all love you in here. You've been such a huge source of inspiration and support for a lot of us, including me and I have faith everything is going to be just fine with that little one. My mom was told I was an ectopic pregnancy and they doctor insisted on aborting and she refused and later it turned out to be just a cyst. Positive throughts!

I don't know why, but I haven't checked out anyone's journals! I should start and I'm sure it will be my new obsession when this board is quiet!

Pino I think everything is sensitive during AF. But if you don't feel it's normal, maybe get it checked out. Personally I get mega upset stomach during AF and I recall a pushing feeling on my uterus. Just monitor and see if it gets worse.


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## SleepyOwl

Lxb - more love and positive thoughts your way :hugs: I did some googling last night and it seems to be common in a lot of pregnancies and the bean ends up being just fine and totally healthy. Praying this is the case for you and that you aren't consumed with worry! I hope you enjoy your trip and this time away from MIL. When do you leave? 

Pino - I honestly have no idea where my cervix is or what it feels like. I think like Sashimi said, just sort of keep tabs on it and see what happens. Either it's a good sign and you're pregnant, or you can just make a note of it and know that it is something that your body does for future cycles! 

Temp still high today so was definitely happy about that! I'm still expecting to see spotting everytime I go to the restroom. It just feels like AF is coming - like my V feels very warm and hot and I have a little bit of EWCM/watery CM when I wipe. Plus, since I didn't temp to confirm ovulation and just input it myself I'm thinking maybe I could be a day or two off. For all I know I could still only be 10DPO! Definitely not planning on testing until the earliest Sunday...possibly Monday. Plus I need to dig my HPTs out from the mountain of tampons it's under :dohh:


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## lxb

Thank you Sashimi! :hugs: I definitely feel all the love and support from all you ladies! :hugs: :hugs: and really appreciate it all~ Oh, what would I do without you guys~ :)

I'm trying not to worry as it won't contribute or help with anything at all. And like you said, just need to stay positive and have faith that everything will be okay.

pino - hmm... just remember to make a note of it. And definitely get it check out if you're feeling uncomfortable. Hopefully it's all a good sign? :)


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## lxb

Sleepy - Thank you sleepy~ I hope that's the case too. My sis said they couldn't see anything for her first two ultrasounds with my niece too. I leave today after work. Going to take off a little earlier from work (~4PM? so... in ~7hours).


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## SleepyOwl

preg_pilot said:


> Fingers crossed for you lxb, I hope it´s just still too early. :hugs:
> 
> I went to the midwife today.
> Nothing much happened, she asked a bunch of questions, and gave me some pamphlets.
> She tried listening to the heartbeat, but we couldn´t hear anything.
> She said it´s likely it´s still too early.
> Then she sent me to a blood exam, and that was it for today.
> Next appointment is at the hospital for a sonar on the 16th of july, and then on the 27th again with the midwife.
> No news is good news?
> 
> I miss ya guys.
> Working like crazy these days. (I have a vacation coming up from the 5th to the 16th of july),.

Preg - Sounds like an uneventful visit, but you're right. No news is good news!! July 16th will be here before you know it. I hope you're still getting your rest in with your crazy work schedule. I bet you are looking forward to that much needed vacation!


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## countrygirl86

haribo - Lots of people say birthdays get harder as you get older but the more you have, the longer you live! They're good for you! You may not feel like you have much to celebrate but you have come a long way in your quest for a BFP and I'm sure there are other things you just aren't thinking of. Enjoy your 31st birthday trip! You deserve it! And the baguettes and cheese sound delicious, please have some extra for me! :cake: I'm doing well and will probably just come straight out with the news since everyone will probably be shocked enough lol

Sleepy - Saturday morning can't come soon enough! I'll have to pop on to check for it!

Sashimi - lol @ starburst pee! I sure hope the clinic gets back to you soon. It seems like anything that they make money on they are super attentive and something like 'talking' is not a priority. 

lxb - I wrote on your journal but I just want you to know that we are all here for you :hugs: I can't imagine what's going through your head since it's so uncertain but like Sleepy I'm feeling little bean is just a little behind. :hugs::hugs:

preg - sounds like a straight forward appointment, bet you are excited for the first scan! Your vacation sounds lovely, any plans?

Pino - can't say that happens to me but now when I go, I get a bit of brownish or light pink cm which is why I had the bloodwork. Is your cervix irritated maybe?

Anyone have any fun plans for the weekend? We are going camping and staying with our inlaws (luckily they have a trailer and we'll be in a tent).


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## SashimiMimi

This weekend we are celebrating my birthday, OH's birthday, my nephews 2nd birthday, fathers day and Canada Day!!! I'm excited to give the kids their Hawaii gifts even I'd I didn't get the right genre of shark!!

Country, for the record still not a peep out of my clinic. OH chatted with his friend who is also going through fertility treatments and his clinic has not moved this fast. The friend said it sounds like our clinic is rushing us to the ivf route. 

Personally I'm starting to feel that something must be very medically wrong with me.


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> Ok you guys. I need some more advice :blush: TMI. You know when you are on your period and you go number 2? :blush: and when you push it kinda hurts the cervix, like it is almost sore? :blush: well the last 2 days I have been feeling like this when going to the restroom :blush:. Do you think there is something wrong with me? It has never happened before besides when I am on my period. I feel fine after I go, and before I go, but while I am going is the problem :blush:.

I´ve experienced that. Sometimes when I´m having an extra heavy AF...



SleepyOwl said:


> preg_pilot said:
> 
> 
> Fingers crossed for you lxb, I hope it´s just still too early. :hugs:
> 
> I went to the midwife today.
> Nothing much happened, she asked a bunch of questions, and gave me some pamphlets.
> She tried listening to the heartbeat, but we couldn´t hear anything.
> She said it´s likely it´s still too early.
> Then she sent me to a blood exam, and that was it for today.
> Next appointment is at the hospital for a sonar on the 16th of july, and then on the 27th again with the midwife.
> No news is good news?
> 
> I miss ya guys.
> Working like crazy these days. (I have a vacation coming up from the 5th to the 16th of july),.
> 
> Preg - Sounds like an uneventful visit, but you're right. No news is good news!! July 16th will be here before you know it. I hope you're still getting your rest in with your crazy work schedule. I bet you are looking forward to that much needed vacation!Click to expand...

Yea. I´m getting my rest in. I slept until 8am this morning, went to sleep again at 3pm and slept until 7pm. I should be alright on my night shift later.
Little bean is stretching like crazy these days, but uncharacteristically I´m also queasy today. I´m going to eat broiled chicken later and hope it goes away :)
I´m letting my boss know tomorrow, but apparently this is no problem, as long as I feel fit and healthy, I can fly until 26 weeks. (middle of october).



countrygirl86 said:


> haribo - Lots of people say birthdays get harder as you get older but the more you have, the longer you live! They're good for you! You may not feel like you have much to celebrate but you have come a long way in your quest for a BFP and I'm sure there are other things you just aren't thinking of. Enjoy your 31st birthday trip! You deserve it! And the baguettes and cheese sound delicious, please have some extra for me! :cake: I'm doing well and will probably just come straight out with the news since everyone will probably be shocked enough lol
> 
> Sleepy - Saturday morning can't come soon enough! I'll have to pop on to check for it!
> 
> Sashimi - lol @ starburst pee! I sure hope the clinic gets back to you soon. It seems like anything that they make money on they are super attentive and something like 'talking' is not a priority.
> 
> lxb - I wrote on your journal but I just want you to know that we are all here for you :hugs: I can't imagine what's going through your head since it's so uncertain but like Sleepy I'm feeling little bean is just a little behind. :hugs::hugs:
> 
> preg - sounds like a straight forward appointment, bet you are excited for the first scan! Your vacation sounds lovely, any plans?
> 
> Pino - can't say that happens to me but now when I go, I get a bit of brownish or light pink cm which is why I had the bloodwork. Is your cervix irritated maybe?
> 
> Anyone have any fun plans for the weekend? We are going camping and staying with our inlaws (luckily they have a trailer and we'll be in a tent).

Vacation plans are: hang out with OH in denmark :) Basically he´ll be working, but we´ll have the evenings and weekends together.
This weekend we´re going to his parents summer house. We´re leaving tomorrow morning, right after my shift, and staying until saturday afternoon when I have to go home again to be ready on my standby shift.


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## lxb

Sashimi - Have fun this weekend~~

Sleepy - Hoping your temp will stay up!!! C'mon BFP!!!

Preg - Anytime with OH is nice~ Have fun~~ Happy Lime week! :dance:

Pino - FX for you~~~ 

country - Have fun camping!!! 

lauren - boo af! :gun: and that fire!! 

haribo - have fun in france!

treasured - where have you been??

1 more hour 'til leaving work~~ I'll check BnB if I have wireless access~ hehe.. else I'll catch up with you gals later~~ I miss you all already!! :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

SashimiMimi said:


> This weekend we are celebrating my birthday, OH's birthday, my nephews 2nd birthday, fathers day and Canada Day!!! I'm excited to give the kids their Hawaii gifts even I'd I didn't get the right genre of shark!!
> 
> Country, for the record still not a peep out of my clinic. OH chatted with his friend who is also going through fertility treatments and his clinic has not moved this fast. The friend said it sounds like our clinic is rushing us to the ivf route.
> 
> Personally I'm starting to feel that something must be very medically wrong with me.

What a fun weekend you have planned!!! I hope the shark goes over well even if it is the wrong type, lol! 

That's really terrible if the clinic is just trying to rush you into IVF. Such an invasive procedure (as well as the lap surgery) without giving you the time you need to ask questions and process everything. Are there other clinics that you could go to instead of this one or because you've done everything through them so far, you should stick with them? It really does seem good that you are taking some time off. Definitely not something to rush! I hope they call you soon so you can get some of your questions answered.


----------



## lauren26

Hellllloooo ladies!

Sorry I've been away. I feel really overwhelmed with my return to work and my new role. Lots of mixed emotions on top of my company undergoing huge structural and leadership changes... Plus my BF works with me and I am grieving our work-free friendship (we met as co-workers and are co-workers again but I looooved the time we had away from work). 

lxb - I know I said this on your journal, but we are here for you and I'm holding a vision of a happy, healthy, beautiful popcorn that you'll be able to see next time!! Have an amazing time on your trip and know that we are here. Take good care of yourself and keep thinking positive!

haribo - I know what you mean about birthdays!! I thought I would have a baby before 27. I never wanted to be the age my mom was when she had me (27)--not sure why! Hang in there. Your BFP awaits!

Sleepy - Those temps are looking mighty fine!! I will be stalking your chart intensely, urging the temps to stay sky high! 

Pino - I don't get the sore cervix when I have AF....I used to get kind of a pulling feeling in my uterus and vagina during and before AF--like a heaviness or something. A real downward energy. That has totally changed since I did acupuncture. If you're concerned, take it to your doc, but a lot of those weird sensations down there are normal.

preg - Sounds like the scan wasn't crazy exciting but no news is good news for sure! I thought it took a while to hear the heartbeat, too.

Sashimi - That weekend sounds amazing!! I'm getting really annoyed with your clinic!! I hate the feeling of being rushed into something. You could always go to another doctor for a second opinion after you speak with your regular doc at the clinic. When I saw my gyno last week for a second opinion on the endo I left feeling really relieved.

Country - Another camping weekend! Yeehaw! :) Sounds fun. We have no plans--I need to SLEEP and relax! And probably clean the apartment... My top priority this weekend will be rest and relaxation.


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## lauren26

PS I have to go in at 7:30 am tomorrow for another u/s and I am NOT looking forward to it! My work day today was super duper emotional and the last thing I want is to have a rod stuck up there while I have AF! Lol. I am really looking forward to this week ending.


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - :hugs: Sorry you had such a rough day and that you have to have that scan tomorrow especially when you have AF!!! I hope your Friday is better/smoother. I hope you treat yourself this weekend and relax and recover from the week. You have been dealing with alot since you started back at work and all so quickly!


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## lauren26

Thank you Sleepy!! I am at the clinic right now and the couple across from me have a beautiful baby. Sounds like they did FET or IVF or something.

Ok update it looks like I have more cysts now, on the other side :( the tech jut told me that my ovaries are swollen with cysts and that they're swollen enough that they are touching :( :( :(. I have a feeling a lap is going to be my only option! I dont think I can opt for that now, since just starting back at work.


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## countrygirl86

Sashimi - sounds like a killer weekend you have planned! Hope you have a blast and your shark gift works out lol Your clinic is totally ridiculous and it definitely sounds like they want to rush you to ivf. It makes me wonder if maybe you have a better chance of getting pg on your own and they just wanted to rush the process with ivf? Regardless, you'll have a great summer and can maybe look for a different clinic or finally get answers from this one.

preg - enjoy your vacation, sounds lovely :)

lxb - we'll miss you! Check in when you can and I know I'll be thinking of you bump buddy :hugs:

lauren - glad your job has come but hoping it calms down soon. Yay for sleep! I'm definitely planning an early night tonight :) That's crazy cysts! Can they cause other problems? I wish you guys had healthcare like we do here. Would that mean they are blocking eggs from getting down? Sorry you have all this Lauren, it must be hard especially on AF and with the nonsense at your job. Can someone give this girl a break?!?! :hugs::hugs:

Sleepy - you are sweet :) Can you just test already though, 13dpo and your temp is still up! :test:


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## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> Thank you Sleepy!! I am at the clinic right now and the couple across from me have a beautiful baby. Sounds like they did FET or IVF or something.
> 
> Ok update it looks like I have more cysts now, on the other side :( the tech jut told me that my ovaries are swollen with cysts and that they're swollen enough that they are touching :( :( :(. I have a feeling a lap is going to be my only option! I dont think I can opt for that now, since just starting back at work.

Not what we were trying to hear :( You really have been dealing with so much - I hope like Country said that you can just catch a break. At least you have more information now about what is going on and you can begin making moves in the right direction. We're here for you if you need to vent/talk/etc. I hope you treat yourself this weekend - you deserve it!


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren hope you are okay. I'm sure it's not what you wanted to hear, but just remember all this stuff can be treated and fixed! Hope they give you more info soon! 

My clinic emailed me back after I left another message and sent another email. I'm booked for a chat with my doctor in a couple of weeks and they confirmed that I can do the lap possibly in mid September.

I feel like fertility visits are like an addiction so I also emailed te nurse and asked if I should hold off on further IUIs until the lap or go for a 4th try. I think of my SIL and Sleepy's SIL who all got BFPs on their 4th try. But then there is the other part of me who just isn't ready for another heartbreak. I still think a ttc break is best for my sanity.


----------



## Pino6161

Country-- No plans this weekend, except grocery shopping :haha: Have fun camping!! I am jealous :haha:

SashimiMimi&#8212;Lot&#8217;s of birthdays to celebrate!! Let&#8217;s hope gifts don&#8217;t get mixed up :haha: you might end up getting hot wheels :rofl: I think everyone starts to feel like there is something wrong at one time or another. I hope it is nothing :hugs: About time the clinic got back to you!! At least now you will find out what road to take, and why. Don&#8217;t let them push you without giving you answers.

Preg_Pilot--- Make sure you get lots of rest! Have lots of fun on your vacation!! :hugs:

Lxb--- Have a whole bunches of fun for me LOL :hugs: :dance: Try to et away from this horrible heat!!

Lauren--- Sorry work has been so overwhelming! I hope you make time to get a breath in :hugs: It&#8217;s normal to get emotional, especially after just getting AF. We are all here for you :hugs: Did the Dr&#8217;s say why they think you are getting more cysts? Or the cause of it? I hope they go away, and you get your much needed BFP without the lap, but if push comes to shove, what do you feel about they entire situation? What I mean is don&#8217;t try to force yourself to be ok with something you aren&#8217;t take time to scope things out. :hugs:

Sleepy--- I hope your temps stay high, and no more even slight drops!! :dance:

Haribo--- I hope you are having lots of fun in France

Treasured&#8212;I hope you are doing ok. :hugs:

So I have been in a really cranky mood since I woke up. I am tired, and irritated. My stomach is upset, and I am cramping. I am afraid AF seems to be on her way already. It&#8217;s really confusing me. My temp went up today. OH seems to be really into this whole TTC thing all of a sudden. I think it is great, but very overwhelming. He is sure this is my month. It is a lot of pressure on my uterus.


----------



## treasured

Hi everyone,

Sorry ive not been on in a while I was down south for the last few days.

Sash & Lauren- so sorry about AF, I know how you both are feeling right now, Im resenting AF this month so much more than ever before... ill explain below. hope youre both holding out!

lxb- sooo sorry that your scan wasnt very conclusive, but thats not neccessarily a bad thing! it will just be too small at the moment, FX for you sooo much!

pino- how are you doing, great to hear about your family coming to visit that will deffinately take your mind off all this, although some of the things like your temps sound positive! never had the number 2 think, sorry :(. 

so.... basically my trip was a complete disaster. AF showed on the first day so I was pretty down about that but I was with my friend who doesnt know Im TTC so couldnt even say anything or show I was upset. Then I just got over the fact it had arrived and was quite enjoying myself when I had a really heavy bleed which made me run to the toilet and as I was in such a rush my brand new £500 phone fell out my pocket and into the toilet. :cry: why does AF ruin EVERYTHING? so this put me in a bad mood the whole time and I just didnt see any point in being there...

then to make it worse there was crazy weather so all our trains were canceld, resulting in me having to stay another night away from home and travel all day and night. I just wished I was back in bed with OH and just needed a cuddle so much. Ive held all my emotions in for so long and I just need to cry I think. :nope: Sorry, I'm feeling really sorry for myself and I know you all have so many things on your minds too but I just needed to blurt all this out to you guys cause I know you will cheer me up :)

I guess this month I should start temping and stuff but I actually just feel like im loosing hope and feel like I cant be bothered anymore... but I suppose if I dont do everything I can I cant be disapointed when AF shows. :shrug:

once again sorry for my depression post and I hope everyone elses spirits are up :) :hugs: xxxx


----------



## haribo813

I'm just back from a 4 course meal, wow, i definitely have a food baby if nothing else! France is great, we've taken some friends out too so is great to spend time with them properly. Lots of chilling by the food and lazy days.

Ah Treasured, sorry you're having a tough time of it, we all know how galling it is when AF wrecks the party so please don't apologise. I hope since you're back you're starting to feel a bit better. I suggest giving temping a go and seeing how you find it for a month-for me it has taken some of the agony out of getting AF as i know it's coming when temp drops so don't get my hopes up like i used to only to get nasty BFNs...

Lxb, sorry about your news, but i too have every faith that it's just too soon. In the UK they don't do any scan until 12 weeks so it is very early days. You are such a positive lady, that attitude is brilliant and you will be rewarded for it, you also do a great job of lifting all our spirits too so thank you. We are always here for you if you need us.

Lauren, sad news. You poor thing, do you know what next steps are? Hope you cN still have a relaxing weekend.

Pino hope you're feeling a bit better. 

Sleepy i am really keeping everything crossed for you and hoping this is your month.

Country i hope you enjoy camping! Let us know how your news goes down! So exciting.

Pregpilot enjoy your time in denmark with your OH.

Sashimi, whatever you choose to do treatment wise is best for you both, if you feel like it go for it but if you want a break, i'm sure that is a good thing too-you know best. Sometimes when we're least trying things work out bett than we could have imagined. Hope the pressies are a big success!

I don't have much news except that found out my fertility specialist appointment has been rescheduled for my birthday! Seems weirdly appropriate! Still, 6 weeks earlier than i previously thought which is good.

Xxxxx


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## lauren26

Hey ladies,

Quick check in for now as I'm still at work and totally exhausted. THANK YOU so much for your love and support. It means the world to me. I don't think I have more cysts after all--she said they are stable. But the ovary thing is new. I need to make an appointment with the doctor to talk about the 'next steps'...I know you're all right, and that there are options and that this can likely be fixed. I am just T.I.R.E.D. right now and not wanting to deal with all of this!! Overall, I am willing and ready to do the lap, it just feels like crazy timing because I'm back at this job really needing to stake my claim and mark out my territory so to speak (wow sounds so aggressive!). Anyway, I may just push it a month or two if a lap is suggested. If IVF is the only option my doc recommends then I think I'll just forget about TTC for now and stop spending $$ on tests and OPKs and visits and just do what Sashimi is doing--enjoy the summer! Trying to stay positive but right now it's tough. Since I'm so exhausted I feel I can't really bring my best self. I am sure it will get better. Just wanting to rest and wanting it all to go away... 

Thank you again and I will check in more this weekend :hugs:.


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- Sorry your small vacation didn&#8217;t go so well!! :hugs: Don&#8217;t lose hop though, your time will come :hugs:

Haribo--- Glad you are having a nice time in Paris. Take some pictures for us! :hugs:

Lauren&#8212;I am glad you don&#8217;t have more cysts! Hopefully they will be able to get everything figured out, even if it does mean a lap. Staking your claim doesn&#8217;t sound aggressive at all! A girl&#8217;s got to do what a girl&#8217;s got to do! Kick their butts LOL :hugs:


So I woke up at 3:00AM with a stomach ache and heartburn. I thought it was later so I took my temp and it broke my heart seeing 97.73. :cry: So I go back to bed, and I wake up my OH and told him how it went lower. He laughed at me and I got so mad!! Until he told me that it was only 3 LOL. So I use the bbt adjuster and it came out to 98.38. I went back to bed,and when I woke up at my normal time at 6, guess what, my temp was 98.38 :dance: So the adjuster does work!! Today is my shopping day, so I probably won't be able to check in until later.

You girls have a great day!! :hugs:


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## lauren26

Pino - Yayyy to the high temp!!! I have found that, overall, the adjuster works too! And heartburn is a good sign :)

treasured - I'm so sorry AF rained on your parade!! Haribo is right--we have all been there and are usually there monthly, so don't apologize! :) That's rotten about your phone. I hope that being home now is giving you some relief.

haribo - Well, I have to meet with my doc to discuss next steps. I'm 99.9% sure that she wil just say that she wants to do IVF, which I can't do right now. My HOPE is that she either says that it's great the cysts are stable so we can try a few meds or something for a couple of cycles, or that she wants to do a lap and feels confident that it will help. My greatest fear is that she'll say that there's nothing she can do for me, that a lap would be too risky, and that I have no options. I will keep you all posted! Knowing my clinic, it'll be ages until I actually get to sit down with her. 

AFM, woke up with a crazy high temp. I think it's a fluke since my temps are usually at their lowest at this point, but I hope it doesn't mean that I'm coming down with something. I really pushed my energy this week and last and I just can't afford to be sick!


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## Pino6161

Lauren, that temp is nuts!! I hope your not getting sick!!! :hugs:


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## lauren26

Thank you, Pino! I just CAN'T get sick right now, lol. That's all I need!! Yours are looking really nice! Can't wait to keep stalking them... :)


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## Pino6161

LOL thanks!! Every morning I see my temp, and I wish I could go back to sleep until the next day so time goes faster LOL. This waiting thing is killing me!!!


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## lauren26

Yes the wait is awful! Does look like you Oed though at some point, so Fx for you!


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## Pino6161

Well when I look at my chart FF says I ovulated on Day 20, but I wonder if I Od on day 17... I'm not sure, but wither way happy I od LOL


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## SleepyOwl

Pino - Your chart is looking good and Lauren is right, heartburn is definitely a good sign. Fingers crossed for you!!!

Lauren - I hope you aren't getting sick. Totally the last thing you need right now!!! Get lots of rest this weekend and take good care of yourself. Hopefully that will push you back into positivity. It's hard to be positive when you are dealing with so much with TTC and work and you're exhausted. Something has to give. I hope that there are other options prior to IVF so that you don't have to make that jump. If not, then def. enjoy your summer :hugs:

Treasured - Sorry you had such a rough time friend. AF definitely does ruin everything. I hope your back to you OH and getting some good cuddle time. As for temping, I really feel more "in control" when I do it. Not that it's gotten me PG yet, but it did help me understand my cycle and body and that is always a good thing. 

Haribo - Yay for the appointment getting moved up!! 

AFM, just went to the bathroom and saw that I had begun spotting. AF should be here tomorrow. Booo!! Just made a pot of coffee and am going to fully enjoy a cup. Gotta find the good in it all I suppose :)


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## Pino6161

Sleepy, I am sorry about the spotting!! I hope you enjoy your cup of :coffee: mmmm


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## lauren26

So quiet on here on the weekends!! Hope everyone is doing great!


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## Pino6161

Hey!! Where is everyone?? :hugs: I have been w/ my MIL the last 2 days. It has been like torture. I'm exhausted more than normal. Cramping on and off and have had an upset stomach more times than not. I am ready to rest!!! Hope everyone is good! :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Hey ladies! Still at my parents as our power hasn't been restored. I'm just being lazy and napping alot! Not much else to do :)


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## lauren26

Sleepy - did you TEST??


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## Pino6161

I want to know also!


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## lauren26

Just popped in to say I've been totally obsessing about TTC all day...right after I decided I needed a break! Lol.


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## Pino6161

LOL I am ALWAYS obsessed with TTC :rofl: Your heart will tell you what to do. :hugs:


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## lxb

Hey ladies!! Just getting ready for bed from another looooong day on the road! So much fun and so tiring! Caught up with this crazy lady thread! I have so much to say to each of you but I am getting so tired! Hehe another long day tomorrow! Will write more when I am back to the crazy az heat!!

Just wanted to check in from SF and say :wave: hope you are all doing well. :hugs:


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## Pino6161

Hey everyone! So my temp went down again, and my stomach dropped when I saw it. I am kinda upset


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## Pino6161

Sleepy :hugs: I just saw your chart! I am sorry the witch got you! :hugs:


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## countrygirl86

Sashimi - glad your fertility clinic FINALLY got back to you! Hopefully the visit will give you all the answers you are looking for and a good plan for the future. Do you have any other fun plans for the summer? Are you feeling better about being back from your trip?

treasured - so sorry to hear about the little disaster! You did inspire me to set aside some cuddle time with my OH so thank you. And I second Haribo with charting, it gave me a sense of control with TTC and we got our BFP on my first full cycle of charting. Only you know if you are ready though!

haribo - your 4 course meal sounds delicious! Glad you are enjoying France and great to hear your appointment has been moved up! Sounds like good news all around for you right now, enjoy it :)

lauren - you are doing a great job dealing with everything that is going on right now but make sure you are taking care of yourself too! I definitely don't think they'll say there's nothing they can do for you. Besides, those are the ones who usually get BFPs naturally by magic anyway! But I'm hoping it'll happen naturally for you anyway. Sometimes I wonder if you could get pg but since they've found that stuff, they'll try other stuff to up the chances, if that makes sense? 

Pino - that's totally normal to want it to be the next day just so you can enter another temp lol I did that too! Sorry spending time with your MIL has been :wacko: however cramping and upset stomach may be good signs...

Sleepy - enjoy your coffee, have a beer, enjoy yourself! 

lxb - glad you were able to pop on! You are missed but I can't wait to hear all about it when you get back!

Hope everyone is having/had a good weekend! It's our long weekend here and camping went great, I got along with my MIL (yay) but work tomorrow and I'm in charge this week so I won't have much time to come on here though I'll try to keep up on the crazy lady thread! I got a call while we were away from my pharmacist saying there was a prescription to pick up so I got there and it was amoxocillin (sp?) but they didn't know WHY I was prescribed it lol but when I got home my doctor had left a message saying they'd found a UTI last week so I'm to take this to get rid of it. Weird because I'd had two UTIs before and I KNEW I'd had them but this time not the same symptoms. I guess that's why they test you. Anyway, that's my exciting news lol Time to get to cleaning the house!


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## countrygirl86

Pino - don't be upset. Here's my chart from my BFP, it went down too...

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3bcbcb


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## Pino6161

thanks country I feel a bit better now :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Pino - Don't lose hope. You're definitely not out!! 

Country - Glad you had a good time this weekend :) I hope you make it through the week alright and that work runs smoothly. Glad you got the UTI thing figured out - is that what was causing the white tissue you were talking about? 

AF came this morning, but I was expecting it. Not feeling super devastated or anything, so that's good. Looking forward to working out today and enjoying a wedding we have this weekend. Plus we have our family vacation coming up at the end of this month which I'm reallly looking forward to. Hoping that all this sunshine and relaxation will bring me a BFP at the end of the month [-o&lt;


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## lauren26

Country - I think I know what you mean...that they see the things that have come up as obstacles and want to make the chances better?? I don't know if I know what you mean, actually, lol! But thanks, I am trying to take it all in stride. I just know that anything can happen and that I can't see any news as a finality! 

Pino - You are not out!! Temps fluctuate, and yours has a fallback rise pattern to the entire chart, already, so I don't necessarily think it's a bad sign.

Sleepy - Boo!!!!! But you have a great attitude :) I hope that you guys aren't getting hit with storms again! Are you enjoying a little time off during your job transition period?

AFM, I alled my clinic this morning to try and get in for a followup appointment with the doctor after the ultrasound I had. She doesn't come to the office near me ever, and I just can't make it to Denver and back and be on time for work, so I asked for a phone consultation instead. They told me that the only available time outside of 9-5 is on July 16!! So I can either get up craaaaaaazy early and try to get in for a 7 am appointment an hour away, or I can wait two weeks and then try to talk to the doctor on the phone. It sounds like she wanted to meet in person so that I could look at the ultrasound pics etc. I really want to be able to make it to an in-person appointment, but I don't want to be totally fried at work! I just don't know what to do. The problem is that the old boss, who got fired, took TONS of 'medical' leave that was paid and was just generally unavailable. Even though this is a totally different situation, I feel it might make a bad impression to come in two hours late so that I can go to the appt...

Anyway, that's out of my system! I think I will just call them and see if they do have an early appointment and see how I can get down to it. The good news is that if anything was horribly wrong I'm sure they'd just tell me right away.


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## Pino6161

Lauren-- your clinic sounds ridiculous, sorry you have to make the tough choice of waiting and going nuts or getting no sleep.

I am so tired the last coupledays, and have slight headaches that are driving me bonkers :haha: we are having car issues so it's a pain


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## lauren26

Pino....it really does sound ridic! Maybe I should just be done with doctors for now! I'm really not having great luck. Oh well! At least I don't need a doc to keep having sex! :)


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## Pino6161

:sex: :sex: :haha:


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - So crazy about your clinic. You think it will be a problem at work if you only come in late once? It sounds like your old boss was doing it way too frequently and maybe they'll see your one-time thing as a different case altogether? I hope it works itself out!! 

AFM, I'm enjoying my time off, but am ready to get back to work. It's weird having this much time off. I find myself milling around the house and always seem to end up with my head in the fridge!! Waiting for AF to leave so I can get started on BD'ing. Fingers crossed for this cycle!


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## Pino6161

Sleepy-- I am the same way. When I get bored I eat, which is not good cause of my diet. 

So my temp only dropped a couple of points, so not to bad. I am really hoping it shoots up. OH keeps asking if thereis anything he can do to make the test positive :haha: I told him he can get knocked up and pee on it for me :haha:


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## SashimiMimi

I'm going to quickly chime in here while I'm on lunch. Lauren I totally feel you on the doctor appointment/new job dilemma. I think if you g


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## SashimiMimi

I'm going to quickly chime in here while I'm on lunch. Lauren I totally feel you on the doctor appointment/new job dilemma. I think if you give them notice and offer to make up the time, it will all work out. They know you aren't like the awful boss who got fired which is why they asked you back!! The way I see it, for both of us the fertility visits and surgery is not just for ttc but for our overall health. If they can see cysts or something not looking right it has to take priority over work. It's stressful wanting to be there and not raise alarms. Personally I'm worrying about the doctor chat appointment I booked for the 19th which is middle of the day and I also need to see my family doctor for my overdue physical and I had a dentist appointment last week!!


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## SashimiMimi

I keep hitting post before I'm done because I'm on my iPhone!! I was trying to make the point that a good employer will understand that appointments and what not come up. I used to be a total push over at work and looking back it wasnt worth it!! Even though I feel now is not the time for extended time off for surgery, I rather get it out of the way in the fall for example and figure things out from there then look back and wish I had put my fertility health first. I have always felt that being a mom will be my forever job, I like what I'm doing now but being a mom is my priority!!


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## Pino6161

I am 10 DPO and I took a test.BFN. I am crushed. :cry:


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## SashimiMimi

Hang in there Pino. 10 dpo is mighty early to have a line show up even on those early predictor kits. I believe lxb said she didn't get a true solid double line until 16 dpo. Even my clinic won't do a pg blood test until 12 or 13 days dpo and that is the most accurate way of revealing a BFP!!


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## Pino6161

I know, I always tell myself to wait, but its HARD. It's even harder to see the neg.


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## lauren26

Sashimi - Thanks!! You're right. I scheduled a phone consult (still don't want to drive to Denver) for Tuesday morning at 9. I have been putting in a ton of extra time so it shouldn't matter. I am worried about taking time off work for the lap if that happens, but I think that's a fake worry covering up my nervousness about surgery!!

Pino - Don't give up!! It's only 10dpo :)

Sleepy - Man, eating is my fave! I have to stop, too. I do it when I'm stressed or bored--constant snacking! I really need to start hitting the gym again 

AFM, My temps are wacko!! I don't know why. I assume it's a new schedule and our heat wave??? Oh well! Lol. I'm just going to BD when it feels right this month and hope for the best :)


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## Pino6161

Your temps are def. nutso :haha: what is the temp up there?


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren after a couple or months you will feel more settled and therefore more comfortable with asking for time off. My clinic seems to think 2 or 3 days recovery for the lap is normal. I may have considered it for this month had I not gone away for 17 days and if I wasn't still on probation. Also your work doesn't know the real reason. I plan on telling my work that having exploratory keyhole surgery for an unexplained abdominal problem I've been having for over a year which is true. They don't need to know nor are they entitled to know the truth of the matter!


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - Sashimi is right and you even said you are putting in tons of extra time. I'm sure it will all work out, although I understand the worry and anxiety. 

Pino - I wish our men could get knocked up!! Maybe we would all get BFPs sooner. :haha:


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## lauren26

Pino, it was over 100 degrees for about 5 or 6 days straight, so that could have something to do with it...I don't know, though! My temps have never been all over the place like this. I kind of like it because there's no way for me to 'read into' it, you know? Anyway. 

LOL on our men getting pg..I said that to DH yesterday!! I was like, can we just get you pg?


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## Pino6161

:haha:it would make our lives easier :haha: but they would all have to get c sections. And my OH is a big baby when it comes to pain:haha:

your weather sounds like mine here in az


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## lauren26

Yeah total heat wave! It looks like the end of summer right now. Everything is brown and dry. 

U.S. ladies, are you doing anything fun for 4th of July? There is a total fire ban here so no fireworks anywhere :( We're going to hang out with the PIL.


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## Pino6161

We will probably just hang w/ MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL, niece and nephew. Now really looking forward to it. OH is working, so it's mostly a normal day


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## Pino6161

So when I woke up this morning my temp was down below my coverline. I am a bit disappointed. Also last night I had a horrible stomach ache and this morning it is less, but still there. I am afraid I am out of the game :cry: just waiting for the :witch: to show her ugly face


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## lauren26

Pino, :hugs::hugs:. Hopefully it'll jump back up tomorrow! You're not out yet.


----------



## treasured

Hey gals, sorry I've not been posting much, not really got much too say and for some reason Ive just been feeling really discouraged by this whole process and coming on here seems to just underline the fact that Im not pregnant yet. I was supposed to get round to buying a thermometer this cycle but Im already over a week into my cycle, is that too late to start temping? trying to do SMEP with OH but his stupid work gets in the way. thankfully he starts a new job next week which is day time based so we can spend nights together again yayy! one of my friends who is pregnant is being induced today so Im preparing myself for more baby photos flooding facebook :\ 

pino- hoping for your bfp this month all the other PG gals have said that their symptoms were quite similar to AF and noone knows what to expect so you aint out quite yet! 

lauren- how are you? strange about your temps! i still dont quite grasp the concept yet until i start doing it for myself haha. have you had AF yeah? 

think Im only on like CD 8 or 9 so a while left till I O... xxx


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- It is not to late to start temping as long as you start befor you O


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## lauren26

Treasured - I know exactly how you feel!! I have been wanting to come on, too, but have avoided somewhat because I'm feeling pretty discouraged. I'm sorry you're feeling bad! I'm glad that your OH has a job that allows you guys more time together. And it's not too late to start temping at all. I sometimes skip the first week of my cycle, anyway. It'll be a practice round! I did get AF, yes. I have a phone consultation with my doctor next week re: my cysts and last ultrasound. I have a suspicion that she will tell me that she can't do anything for me and that a lap is too risky. At this point I'm not that invested in the information I get. I'm sure I'll feel devastated if she tells me she doesn't think I can conceive, but I'd rather just get it over with and move on. She won't have the final word, anyway!


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## lxb

lauren - yeah, how you're feeling is completely normal. like sashimi said, you'll feel more comfortable asking for time off once you settle in. Hopefully you'll get some good news next week from the dr.

pino - :haha: yea... I'm sure we'll get our BFP sooner if men could get knocked up!! :haha: I said to DH before... why can't you get pg? You men~ All you do is provide those :spermy: and that's pretty much it. Us women had to go through the whole pregnancy... deal with body changes/exhaustion/etcetc. :haha: Stil hv my FX for you~ Think you're 12DPO now? I got a CLEAR BFN on 10/12DPO!

sleepy - I'll be staring at your chart closely this month!! Hopefully your temp will stay up at 12-13dpo!

treasured - gluck~~ Yess... time for SMEP~~:haha: and temping really does help. and it definitely helped with my POAS addiction~ :haha:

sashimi - glad you finally hear back from the clinic. it's just crazy to have to wait that long! That chat session better be helpful~ Ah yes, being a mom will be a forever job and I'm sure you'll get that job soon enough :hugs:

country - camping trip sounds amazing! DH & I are planning to camp maybe in August time when it gets cooler here. LOVE being in nature. Being surrounded by giant pine trees~ Just felt so much healthier already!

haribo - 4 course meal sounds amazing!! When is your appt? Hope everything will be okay.

afm, just got back from our roadtrip~~ we covered 2000 miles in ~6 days! I only drove ~10 min during these 6 days~ :haha: It was a beautiful drive along the coast and sooo close to the beach! It felt nice not to be in 113F weather~~ It was a nice trip and I forgot about my u/s tomorrow! And started to worry again ~2 days ago when we were heading back home~ Not much symptoms again except for some sore bbsf and mini cramps here and there. This morning... I looked in the mirror and sucked in my stomach... and I don't see any bump at all. :dohh: Trying to tell myself "it is what it is. and there's nothing I can do about it except to be healthy"... not working though... :(


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## SleepyOwl

Yay Lxb - welcome back!!

Lauren and Treasured - I've been feeling the same way. I love this site, but I've been just not really into posting or lurking even because I'm sort of over TTC. I don't know if I'm just tired or what, but keeping up this positive attitude is a little more difficult since AF arrived and since two of OH's friends announced they were pregnant after only 1 month of trying. Some people are so lucky I swear.


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## countrygirl86

Sleepy - sounds like a lot of us are in the B&B-break boat. I find the less I'm on here, the faster time seems to go by which is great up until we tell people. 

lxb - I'm glad your trip went so well! And I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and can't wait to hear the results and see a scan pic of your bean :)


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## treasured

Yup, I agree with you all about a break from here. I just dont feel I have the energy anymore, I mean I did just order 30 OPKS online so im gonna use them, but Im not totally stressing out or counting days. OH starts his new job on monday so we will start smeping properly then, hopefully wont be too late for O which should be on thurs ish. 

I think im probably NTNP right now and have been the last few months tbh, even when improperly TTC it seems OH is never more than NTNP lol. arggg! 

Is it bad that im kinda scared to go to the docs? I recently had to transfer back to my old doctors which ive been going to since I was a child, and they all really know my mum as she has been in and out of the doctors MANY times! I feel they will really judge me because Im so young and i know its patient confidentiality but I feel they wont treat me the same because they know me. I'm also afraid of finding out that theres a problem :(

x


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## treasured

I meant to say they 'think im so young'. I dont feel young at all, having graduated from Uni, have a stable job and great partner.... but a lot of people dont see it that way :(


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## treasured

Girls, I have a question which has probably already been asked and answered many times but still confuses me!

From what I understand luteal phase length doesnt vary by that much, say mine is between 11-13 days now... and I have had a 28 day cycle for the last two cycles. 
When I went to the loo today I checked my cervix and it seems quite low, but there was quite a lot of CM, not quite EWCM but very near to it. According to my CD16 ovulation I shouldnt be Oing for atleast another 5 or 6 days. 

Basically what Im saying is, could my OPKS have been wrong before and I actually ovulate earlier? 
Can you get EWCM when youre not Oing?
and could I O early one month but still have a 28 day cycle? meaning my LP has got much longer all of a sudden?

Im SOOO confused lol, I really need to start temping! I should have ordered a thermometer online :( ooops. 

Thanks!


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## SleepyOwl

Treasured - I usually have EWCM for several days before I O (like starting on CD8) and I don't O until CD12-14. By the day I actually O, I am quite dry. Hopefully that helps!


----------



## lauren26

Wow! Sounds like a lot of us are taking a breather from BnB!! I can't totally let it go because it's been such a great source of support for me. But I totally get it. Maybe we all need the summer off!! Lol. Either way, love you ladies :hugs:.


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## SleepyOwl

I can't 100% let go either Lauren - I feel like I'm missing out if I don't check back in periodically!!


----------



## lxb

Treasured - yes, you can definitely get ewcm days before you O. Our body is very tricky sometimes. It not always behave the same way each cycle.

Lauren & sleepy - me too!!


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## Pino6161

Just dropped in to say hi. the witch showed up. It usually creeps up on me in the middle of the night, but instead it showed in the middle of the morning. I'm not as upset as I would have thought but more PISSED off more than anything. I think it is cause I am horney :blush:. I just finished the 50 Shades of Grey series, and although it wasn't written very well, it was HOT :blush: And now the stupid witch had to show.

I am so frustrated there really are no words


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## lauren26

Pino - Sorry to hear about AF!! She's a nasty, sneaky one. Someone just told me about the 50 shades of grey book--highly recommended lol.


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## Pino6161

LOL they are a bit repetative, but great. They have worked wonders on my sex life LOL. The last 2 days it just turned OH on knowing I was reading it LOL. :blush: I do NOT recommend them if OH is not home, or if the witch comes :haha: It sucks for me but I talked OH into a shower :blush: it's hard to get off your mind!


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## lxb

Just wanted to update haribo, sashimi, preg, and treasured -

I wish I was asleep and all this was a nightmare. But it is what it is. I am wide awake and in denial. Now I have plenty of time to be sad. Hopefully not for too long as I need to move on from this mc and start fresh.

Confirmation:
HCG measured at 6200 last Thursday and measured at 6400 yesterday. In a normal and healthy pregnancy, it should at least double. Did an external us, measured at 7w4d(measured at 7w last week). Didn't see what they are looking for and it was a clear pic of an empty sac. To make myself feel a little better, I asked for internal us just so I won't wonder the what-ifs. Part of me still want to believe that maybe..just maybe my body is just a little slow. But all evidents were given and proven otherwise.

As we were discussing my options, i began to tear up. In the end, we've decided to go with medication. Will start tomorrow and it should probably last for around 1-2 days. Blood work on Monday and Wedneday to measure hcg level to make sure it goes to below 5 and ultrasound next Thursday to confirm everything is clear.

Just so happened as I was leaving, my sis and bil entered through the door. She looked at me with all smiles... And I could only burst out in tears.

Thanks ladies for all the supports, it is deeply appreciated.​


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## lauren26

lxb I know I wrote on your journal, but I wish I could give you a giant hug IRL!! I hope that you are doing whatever you need to do this weekend to take really good care of yourself. Whatever you decide to do with the meds this weekend, give yourself as much space as you need (even if you have to lock MIL in a pantry for the weekend), and pamper yourself. I'm so sorry, lxb. You're such a wonderful and supportive woman with an amazing attitude. My heart is very heavy for you.


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## Pino6161

:hugs:


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## Pino6161

So last night was a pretty bad night for me and OH. I got really upset at OH cause it seems like every month he is fine w/ the BFN's and periods coming. He finally sat down with me and told me that of course he is not ok, but he knows upsetting me would make things worse, and he is just trying to protect me. I told him that he has to tell me these things because I feel like he just doesn't care, and it makes me feel extremely alone. He said I never ask in detial what he was thinking etc. I told him straight out that I should not have to ask, and pry deeply. Everytime I do ask he says he is ok, or just shrugs and says time for next month. IDK anyways it just felt good to just sit down and my OH open up, as it is a very rare thing. It made me feel mad though that he feels he needs to be my rock, and protect me from his feelings. I know that I have a very hard time coping each month and he is always there for me just to hold and let it all out, but it makes me feel horrible looking back. IDK. On top of that the cramps and backache are here after leaving me all eysterday, I was hopefull they were gone for good. 

I slept until 10:00AM this morning, as me and OH stayed up until 1:00AM talking last night. I feel like crap, and I know he will be exhausted when he gets home from work. Sometimes I wish his boss would give him days off just because I am on my period, but I don't think it works like that.

Sorry I am rambling. I hope you all are doing well, even though none of you seem to be on anymore. LOL JK

LXB-- Hold in there, we all are here for you and feel your pain. I am praying for you and your family. :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

I haven't been able to get onto BnB for the past couple of days because the website was apparently down. Lxb, I'm so shocked and saddened by your news. I wish you didn't have to go through this and I wish I could find the words to make you feel better. I remember when a friend of mine had a mc at 2 months people kept telling her not to worry, that she would get pregnant again if she just relaxed. She told me how it upset her even more when people gave their two cents. I just want you to know that I'm here for you! You have our love and support and like Lauren said, I hope that you do whatever it is you need to do this weekend to make you feel better. 

From what I see it seems like everyone wants to take a break from this board. I hope you all don't break too long. This has been such a fabulous place of support and i value all the friendships we have made. I don't have any other outlet in real life and there is no way I would have been able to get through the roller coaster I've been on since April without you guys!

Lxb I will be thinking about you and sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way xoxoxo


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## preg_pilot

Oh lxb... I´m so sorry :hugs:


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## preg_pilot

pino:
I know it´s frustrating, but apparently our OH's don´t think the way we do, and they don´t feel the need to share like we do. It makes it easier for both if we (females) just ask. They answer and we´re happy. They just don´t know any "better". (if it´s possible to call it that).
We´re just so different.
I owe my relationship to a show on youtube teaching me about the differences in female and male brains. (a tale of two brains).

I hope everything works out for you two :) :hugs:


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## treasured

Ohh lxb I've just come on now! How can something so bad happen to someone so positive and great! This is not something that can disappear with kind words but I hope with your oh and family and of course all of us you will get through it! We are definitely all here for you! Why does ttc have to be so horrible? Try to keep your chin up and me and the gals are happy to accept any rage/venting you wish to throw our way, eh girls hehe :) lots of love to you and your family right now! Xxx


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## haribo813

Lxb my eyes immediately pricked with tears when I read your post. I am so sorry and am thinking of you. Such sad news, I hope you're being well looked after. A big hug for you and lots of positive vibes for the rest of 2012

xxx


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## lauren26

Just popped in to vent! I spent the afternoon and evening with the in-laws to celebrate my and my SIL's birthdays....My SIL can ONLY talk about getting pregnant, being a mom, her kids, and other people who are pregnant or who can't get pregnant. And she is so judgmental of others who can't get pregnant or who aren't mothers!!! She acted like a total martyr all night. It's true she's a working mom and it's tough, but I couldn't help but think that she completely has it made--beautiful home, 3 amazing kids, planning on a 4th, and a great job that she can work at from home. I felt totally jealous and ashamed all night about not being pregnant. It was awful. I felt like there was no place in the conversation I could comfortably chime in at any point :(

I hope you ladies are doing well! Tomorrow I think I'll be in the TWW once again. Not even that excited this time around! I hope everyone's had a great weekend.


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## preg_pilot

:hugs: lauren


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## countrygirl86

lxb - You are an amazing woman who has been a great source of encouragement and positive energy for all of us. I'm so sorry you are having to endure this. I hope you can find strength in us :hugs:

Pino - glad you had a heart-to-heart with OH. They do have a hard time opening up but I found mine got better as time went on and we had more talks. Sorry AF got you (and while you are reading 50 Shades too!). Hoping she leaves you quickly and you can get on to the next cycle. 

Sashimi - don't worry, I can't leave you ladies for long! 

lauren - sorry to hear about your evening with you SIL! People like that are a sure test of our patience and understanding. It's unfortunate she has an attitude like that but you are smarter and stronger than she is. Hoping this is your last 2ww :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren, I wrote this in an email to you but I'll say it here... I honestly believe those women who act like martyrs because they juggle work and kids are secretly overwhelmed and probably feel envious of couples who can sleep in, travel and have time to themselves. I have a feeling this could be the case with your SIL... If she already has 3 kids and is trying for a 4th that's a lot and very few people have 4 kids in this day and age. 

I think women who have not struggled with fertility don't understand or have the appreciation that women like us do. For both sides I'm sure it seems like the grass is always greener. SIL sees you and OH going on romantic Louisiana trips just the two of you and I'll bet anything she wishes she could do that. Maybe she secretly feels like a failure as a mom and acts high and mighty to convince herself and others that she is succeeding in all areas of her life.

Just a thought, from my experience people who act like jerks often have some underlying issue for their behavior. It's not an excuse but it might explain the martyr act!!


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## lxb

thanks ladies for all the support :hugs:

lauren - adding on to sashimi's comment. It's true that people who have not struggled with fertility won't understand and can be insensitive. A friend of DH kept telling DH how his little son (who just turned one) pretty much took up all their time and him and his wife just feel exhausted at all time and no free time for each other. Trying to tell DH that the world will turn upside down once you have a kid. I've just visited a friend from SF during our road trip (I am friends with the couple since high school -- met them individually before them got together. They got married in July, went on honeymoon in August and got pregnant. And now their little boy is turning 2 months old). She kept saying that "enjoy your life now!! cuz you won't have one once you have a kid. And how she was depressed. :dohh: And I was thinking... I know a lot of women who would trade places with you in a heart beat. All I know is.... our lives _will_ be different once we have little ones. It will be hard at times but it is all for the future and it is a great accomplishment. Our kids will be so lucky to have us as their parents & vice versa. :hugs:


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## haribo813

You're so right about the grass is greener. Your life totally changes and most people love it but others feel overwhelmed because your whole lifestyle and perspective shifts and that can have a huge impact on your relationship with your OH. A good reason to keep on trying to make the most of life before a family I guess (easier said than done but I do try). For OH and I this whole difficult process has made us a stronger, more togetherly couple so hopefully that will put us in good stead if we do have a baby.

I'm back from France and what a lovely time we had out there, so much French bread, cheese, wine, afternoon snoozes and dipping in and out of the pool, it was fantastic. And all the better to have friends out there for a few days too-we laughed a lot!

Back to reality though! Mildly down about my return to grey, rainy London skies, a job that isn't challenging me any more and nearly a year's worth of trying but no baby. Ah well, OH is cooking me dinner and I have some fun things after work on this week so am going to focus on the good stuff!

xxx


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## treasured

Lauren- Goddddd! what is it with some people just not considering the feelings of others at all... I totally agree with the other ladies about her clearly not being completley content with her own life and to be honest I have been thinking a bit more now about the whole 'child becomes your life' thing. With my SIL having a new baby to add to her collection hehe and now that she has 4, she was telling me that the last time her and her husband went out together was her birthday 5 months ago! Obviously we are all in the same boat of wanting a baby and I could think of nothing more amazing but Im begining to realise that time spent with OH is precious now and i guess this process just isnt one that is meant to be rushed. Lets stop stressing :) :hugs:

pino- where you at girl? how are you? :)

haribo- omg france sounds LOVELY, i love chese and bread and wine and everything hehe! how are you getting on and are you Oing soon?

sash- how are you enjoying your relaxing summer? are you still temping or OPKing or just completley taking a break? hope your doing well!

lxb- :hugs: still hope your holding out! sorry for my major rant on your journal hehe. 

country and preg- how are you both doing? when do we get to see bump(bloaty) pics? ! 

sleepy- where art thou? :D 

as for me.... according to previous positive OPKS Im due to get one tomorow, but todays was even lighter than yesterdays, could be diluted urine though cause I only held pee for like an hour! I keep thinking that I could have completely missed O but surely not huh? I have BD CD11,12,14 and will today CD15,16,17 and 18. do you think this will be enough? for ONCE i have managed to get OH to commit to constant BDing hehe. Im going to do another opk tonight and untill i get a positive obviosuly... 

my question is... is it possible to get a dark equal line AFTER ovualtion? like say id ovulated on CD10 would it be possible to get a positive on day 16? 

goshh why is is it so confusing? I dont think I really like OPKS very much tbh. DEFFINATELY going to temp next cycle, make sure your ladies force me hehe. 
x


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## preg_pilot

I definitely never got it with OPK´s. I never got my positive there, so I just went by ovulation pains to time mine.

Feeling alright atm. Less and less queasy these days. Has genuine MS this morning, the first time I actually woke up feeling queasy. Gone now though.

No bump pictures yet, as there is no bump. Just some fat.
Cycling every day to try to remedy that.

I´m getting my U/S on the 16th, so I will post pictures of my bean then.


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## SleepyOwl

I'm back - I missed so much!!!! 

Lxb - I posted in your journal, but again I am so sorry you have to go through this. If you need to vent/talk/cry you know we are all here for you. 

Lauren - How rude of your SIL! I agree with Sashimi though - she is prob desperately overcompensating. I'm sorry you had to put up with that. 

Treasured - I've never gotten a positive OPK after I have O'd - like I will get a positive on CD11 for example, then the line just gets lighter and lighter. I have never had it stay dark or go light, then go dark again. Hopefully that made some sort of sense. 

Pino - Hopefully things with OH get better. I think having those heart to hearts definitely help. I went through a similar thing with my OH a few months back and things are a lot better now with TTC. 

I'm CD9 today and have been so busy with getting all my paperwork and clearance info ready for this new job. It's exciting, overwhelming and stressful all at once. We finally have a few weeks home now before our family vacation, so just trying to make sure everything gets done. Snuck a BD in this morning and praying I can just squeeze one more in before I O on CD12 or 13. I have been so exhausted and am just not in the mood at all. Poor OH! 

On another note, I hung out with 3 very pregnant women today. I hope their pregnancy hormones convince my body to get pregnant :X


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## lauren26

Thanks everyone for the insight and support about my SIL!! I think you are all correct, too. She and her husband go on a date once a year, maybe twice. I know she loves her kids but I also think that it's all she feels good about in her life and I feel sorry for her sometimes. AFM, had my call with my doc this morning and I don't want to go into all the details right now since it's almost bed time for me, but doc says it looks like I have stage 4 endo (severe) and gave me some good news and some bad. Overall I felt better after we talked, and felt more concerned about a few other health implications than my fertility, but it seems I must have been living with this since I started having an AF, so a long, long time and I'm still here and still basically OK and healthy! I am going to schedule a lap for August. Not sure if that will help with fertility or not but the doc wants to confirm the diagnosis, rule out way scarier possibilities, etc. 

Haribo - Your vacation sounds amazing!! I am envious :) We went to France for our honeymoon--for 5 weeks! It was incredible but it was also fall so we didn't enjoy sitting out like I'm sure you did. Welcome back :)

Treasured - OPKs are confusing. I have found that there is a very specific time of day when I'll get a + and if I do another at a different time I'll get a -, even if I got a + that morning. I get my best results around 10 am. GL! The temping will help for sure! So glad your OH is into BDing more regularly :)

Sleepy - Welcome back!! Is everyone out there back in power and safe? Your job starts kind of soon, doesn't it? Is it in August? Bravo for hanging out with pregnant women! I was just at Whole Foods and I swear to you every woman I looked at was pregnant or had a baby. At least 10 women. Crazy! I feel you on BDing, too--DH and I have been so tired from work that we're both having a hard time finding energy for it.

Pino - As DH's little cousin would say, 'Where you was?' :)

lxb - I hope you are hanging in there and didn't have too rough of a day today. I'm thinking about you :hugs:. 

country - I loved what you wrote about telling the family on your journal thread!! Have you told anyone else?? 

Sashimi - Thanks for what you said about my SIL. It's SO easy for everyone, myself definitely included, to feel like the grass is always greener. I guess it applies to me, too, when I look at her life and think she's got it made. And I do think she was being insensitive, but there's no possible way she could ever understand fertility issues, so I'm sure that she didn't fully get what impact her words would have on me. Then again, maybe she was just being a jerk! Lol. When is your chat with your doc scheduled? Are you and OH going to taking the summer off of all TTC convos and clinic visits, or just from procedures etc?

Hope everyone is great--sorry if I missed anyone! It's getting late...


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - Wow, that is a lot of news to process. You seem like you are handling it fairly well - I suppose it's good that you know now and can formulate some sort of plan and move on from this point. Hopefully these next steps, including the lap, will get you more answers and can help you truly move towards that BFP finally. Regardless, it is a lot to take in. You know we are here to talk if you need us. :hugs:


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## Pino6161

Ok, So I am feeling a bit better about everything after having some 1 on 1 time w/ OH. Just barely spotting today, so I finally got to have the :sex: I desperately needed :blush:. I haven&#8217;t been on here very much just due to self pity. I decided to cancel going to my Grandparents to see my siblings cause the drive is horribly long, my car is not reliable, and the fact I was just not comfortable. They haven&#8217;t quite gotten over the fact that I married a Mexican. So I will be cleaning tomorrow. Mentally I am feeling a bit better, I just think that the fact that we are moving in 8 months, and we need a new car is really stressing me out. The financial side is very stressful. So SIL is still at my MIL&#8217;s and my nephew is driving me bonkers, but I still love him :hugs:

Lxb--- I shed quite a few tears for you :cry: (scared the crap out of OH) I hope you a feeling ok, and you are able to avoid the pain pills. Just don&#8217;t try to be to strong Mi Amor :hugs:

Lauren--- Your SIL sounds EXACTLY like my cousin, except she is on number 5. I know how hard it is, it&#8217;s almost like she is accusing you of being a bad mom, without being a mom. My SIL is a bit like that, but learned quickly to keep her opinions to herself. I know how hard it is, just try to keep your chin up! I agree w/ Sash&#8217;s post on this as well. We all will appreciate our children 100 times more than someone, like her, or my brother that get what they want over-night&#8230;. Sorry about you Dr&#8217;s apt. I am glad you feel better about the situation though :hugs:

Haribo&#8212;Glad you had a great time in France! I am soooo jealous! Reality sucks :haha: but at least your OH knows how to cook :haha:

Treasured--- I think your BD sounds great!! I told OH today (while I was super horney) that we were ging to BD everyday (maybe multiple times a day :blush:) until we get a sticky bean. He laughed at me and said, he&#8217;s scared I am going to break him :haha: I don&#8217;t know about getting a positive that late after O though, I guess we will have to wait and see :hugs:

Preg_Pilot--- Happy to see that you MS is almost gone!! Hopefully it stays away. I can&#8217;t wait to see your pics!!

SleepyOwl&#8212;Good job at staying busy! Even if it is boring busy. Where are you going? For family vacation?


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## SashimiMimi

Hey everyone! Thought I would write a quick post for work to check in with all you lovely ladies! I'm meeting with my doctor next Thursday (July 19) to talk about the lap surgery and steps to follow after that. I just feel like I need to know every possible scenario before committing to something like that. Yesterday would have been my scheduled lap day and I woke up feeling very happy with my decision to wait.

I am not really using OPKs, but I imagine I will O sometime this week. I'm not really having my usual symptoms, so I'm wondering if I'm going to even O at all. Yesterday I had super thick EWCM... Knowing that it's already not swimmer friendly, I feel like it is going to be a fortress with this consistency. OH and I BDed really late last night after his hockey game. Huge mistake! I couldn't get to sleep. I got out of bed at 3:30 in the morning and made valerian root tea which probably got me to sleep by 4. I'm a zombie today.

Yesterday, I felt like I was stuck in a pregnant lady zombie apocalypse. I saw over 20 PG ladies I'm sure... First it was walking down my street to the subway. I was beside a PG woman on the sidewalk so I ran really quickly to get ahead of her. Then where ever I moved on the subway, I would run into a pg lady, then another and another and another. I felt like screaming my head off and running. It's like okay Universe, I get it! 

I'm happy with my decision to take a break from the fertility clinic as well. I'll see what my doctor says next week and maybe we will go for a 4th IUI in August, or I'll just hold off until after the surgery.

Lauren, I wrote to you last night but you are so brave and have such a good attitude toward getting such big load of news. You are truly an inspiration to me. Hope you were able to have a good night's sleep and are ready to move forward with the solutions that your doctor has suggested. You inspire me to trust in this whole process even when it is easy to start imagining the worst-case scenarios. I hope you have a minute to pop in and let us know how you are doing today.

Lxb, how are you feeling? I found your journal and saw your post about the pharmacy mix up. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Hugs!

Preg, please be careful with cycling. My fertility doctor has mentioned to me that one of the worst things pregnant women can do in terms if exercise is spin classes or cycling. I don't mean to sound like one of those know-it-alls that come on these boards, but thought I would mention it just in case!

Pino glad you are feeling better!

Country how are you!?

Sleepy - How did you end up hanging around with 3 pregnant women?? :) You inspire me to stop running from PG ladies and try and use their energy to rub off on me for good luck!

Haribo - I can totally relate to those post-vacation blues! We have been back from Hawaii 2 weeks and it has been so hard to get back to reality. I'm glad you had a great time with OH!

Hi treasured!!!

Sorry if I am missing anyone. Back to work for me!


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## lxb

Hi ladies~ I'm sorry that I brought such blue-energy to this thread lately. Thank you all very much for all the love and support. :hugs: 

I'm back to work after a full day of sleeping in yesterday (DH called in sick too!).

Emotionally... DH & I are still deflated of course but the energy is picking up. As a word of DH's... We are stronger than this. This is not the worst thing that could've happened to us. The most important thing is that we have each other. 

Physically... bad cramps on Tuesday night since I started the pills (finished all 6 pills by wed ~10am). Been sleeping in fetal position throughout the night but seems like the cramp is easing up a little bit. I was expecting AF to be full force... but I only see clogs when I pee (not sure if that's normal).

That's enough sadness for the past few days! No more energy should be spent feeling sad or sorry for something we don't have any control over. :thumbup:


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## lauren26

lxb, you are an inspiration!! I'm glad you are feeling better, and jut know that you can take all the time you need to adjust :hugs:.

On my iPhone because I'm at work getting my QuickBooks worked on remotely--a real barrel of monkeys!! Lol. Anyway, Sashimi thank you for what you said it means so much to me. I will check in again when I have better access to a keyboard and computer.


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## treasured

Sooo...... just as I thought I was getting used to the idea of non stressy, relaxed TTC I get hit by another truck full of bad news. My other best friend, (the one which I went to england with, who was drinking and smokes constantly, who is single and gets with every guy) just found out that she is around 4 months pregnant! she doesnt even know who the father is :( I cant beleive its happening again. Shes going to have her own little baby before I can even get pregnant and its SO UNFAIR!!! I cant even comprehend. 

Sash I totally understand what you mean about pregnant ladies, and its so much worse when its one of your stupid friends! I would be thrilled for my friends if they were in a stable situation but I cant deal with them gettting MY dream. 

jealous rant over..


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- I'm so sorry. The feeling I don't think will ever go away. One of my best friends tried for almost 3 years before she got her BFP, and to this day she will complain about how easy other people have it compared to others, and she has her bundle of joy. Life is not fair! :hugs:

Lauren--- Have fun with your quick books :haha:

Sash--- I know the feeling. I never really noticed pregnant woman or babies before I started TTC and now it seems like they are EVERYWHERE.

lxb--- Glad you are feeling a bit better. The clots are def. normal, I'm surprised you are only getting little ones. It's partially a good thing though cause it lessens the physical pain.

I am in a really good mood this morning. Sore but good :blush: So during my pity party I was eating like a cow. Surprisingly I didn't gain anything, and I am the same weight, but it is time to start the diet again hardcore


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## lxb

Treasured - life could certainly seem unfair. I'm sure when your friend had her little baby... she could be complaining how her life is now turned upside down... etc.etc. Can't believe she "just" found she's FOUR-months along. I can't comprehend either :gun:

lauren - QuickBooks sounds fun~~ :) Must be keeping you busy huh~

Sashimi - Hope you get all the your questions answered on your upcoming appointment. It's definitely ideal to see all your options before making a decision.

sleepy - Hope your body will be affect by those pregnancy hormones around you~ Those dusts do rub off~ :thumbup:

pino - food is good! We can't live without it~ :thumbup:


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## countrygirl86

haribo - glad you had such a great trip but you did forget to take me with you lol my BF is going to France for her honeymoon in September so I'm excited to hear all about it.

treasured - I've only gotten partial dark lines then it went away then a full 100% positive. I'd say definitely chart and it will confirm for sure.

Sleepy - you are very busy! It's good to get your mind of TTC but hopefully you are getting a chance to enjoy your summer. You might be onto something with the 3 pregnant ladies, the cycle I got my BFP I finished drinking my pg SIL's water bottle!

lauren - I hope you are feeling that knowledge is power. It seems there's always good and bad news together. I hope you get a chance to go into more detail about what your doctor said, you don't have a journal I can pop onto and check it all out! I'm working on telling my boss today :wacko:

Pino - glad you were able to get in the BD you needed! I like your plan for getting a bean, understandable DH might be a little nervous though! Sorry you are stressing. Good thing is you have 8 months to prepare for the move, and we all go with you wherever you are!

Sashimi - I'm happy your decision to wait for the lap was the right one. You never know how you are going to feel until the time comes but it makes more sense to me the way you are doing it too. It all sounded too rushed and confusing. Sorry to hear you didn't have a good sleep but sometimes those late night BDs are the best :blush: 

lxb - no apologies necessary, you are supposed to deal however feels right for you. We are all here to listen to whatever you want to get out :hugs:

I'm doing well, a little more nauseated the past few days but I can't really complain. We told my parents last night (separately) and it feels weird to have people to talk to about it other than you ladies! My Mom is still in shock. I'm working on telling my boss today but DH put a nail through his finger and is at emerg so I'm waiting to hear how he's doing before bringing up the good news to my boss! We are planning to tell a couple of friends tonight at dinner. 2.5 days till holidays :)


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## lauren26

country - LOL on that France comment!! You are funny. I don't have a journal! Maybe I should start one at some point just to document all of the details of this medical stuff :wacko:. Knowledge is power, you are right. I am scared that the doc told me there was a possibility of cancer, but she said it wasn't likely so I'm trying to calm myself with that thought. GL telling the boss!! Your poor DH!! That sounds super painful.

lxb - Soooooooo much fun with QuickBooks, lol. I was on the phone with tech support today for almost 3 hours, and most of that was being on hold! 

Pino - Good work on binge-eating without gaining! Lol. That's my fave ;) Sometimes you've gotta do it.


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- I wouldn't over worry yourself right now. It sounds like your Dr. is just exploring all possibilities, and trying to figure out what is going on. Don't stress out to much. When is your next appt?


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## lauren26

My next appointment will probably be the lap. I have yet to schedule it. Thanks, Pino. I can spiral a little sometimes!


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## Pino6161

We all spiral once in a while :haha: What all does the lap entale if you don't mind me asking??


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## lauren26

They make an incision in the belly button and go in with a scope. They make one or maybe a couple more incisions for tools, then look around. This will be mostly to see if it's really endo I have and assess how extensive it is, but they will try to drain my cysts while in there and remove any endo they can. I'll also get hysteroscopy where they put a scope (camera) in my uterus. The lap assesses endo, cysts, expensiveness of scarring, and how other organs are affected by all of the above. Sounds fun, right? Lol. I actually don't think it will be that bad. I do need to make sure it's covered though! I love you BD plan!! Lol at OH being a little scared :) way to stay positive too!


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## Pino6161

The fact that you won't be able to feel anything is a plus. As long as you get answers right?? If it's not covered will you still be able to through with it?

I love my BD plan as well :wink: So far so good!!! :blush:


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## preg_pilot

SashimiMimi : Not to worry, I never do spin classes (I had asthma as a kid, so I never could handle too much exertion)
I have a really good seat on my bike, and I never go very fast, just leisure cycling. Looking around and such. I hope that doesn´t ruin anything.
Also, I only cycle for about 7 days of each month (when I´m in Denmark - which is mostly flat) :)


Lxb : you are such an inspiration. I´m gonna try to stop being such a crybaby now :hugs:



I feel so lucky with my healthcare system. I don´t have to specifically insured for anything.
All my maternal care is free, unless I want extra something´s, like 3-D scans and such.
Everybody in Iceland, just pays the minimum for any medical issue. (which is usually like 10-200/400 dollars, ranging from a simple doctors appointment up to major surgery)


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## Pino6161

Preg-I hate our healthcare system here in the US. I am jealous!

So I had a restless night last night alot of up and down, so I couldn't take an accurate temp. I am not to worried about it as I know I am not close to my O date.

So I have a PS3 and I was thinking about getting the PS3 motion for excersize, but OH wants to get a Wii instead. He have had a couple of Wiis but OH doesn't like the games. For the excersize it is good though. SO now we are debating what to get. The last one we had we gave to my nephew for Christmas. IDK.


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## preg_pilot

Yea. It´s quite silly that you have to be insured to get medical aid.
Either that or cough up the full amount (which can run in the thousands of dollars).

Hopefully your administration will see the light soon ;)


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## Pino6161

Exactly!!


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## lxb

pino - great BD plan! :thumbup: poor OH~ :haha: We have a wii (wii fit! The last time I've been on it was 2+ yrs ago~~). I think the reason being I hate having someone to watch me when I'm on it (like MIL! :gun:)

preg - it's great to have such great healthcare system. Like pino said, the healthcare system in the US could be better!

sashimi - to make matters worst.. there was a preggo lady with a nice bump when I went in for blood work AND one of the pharmacists is preggo! (looks to be 6-7months preggo) .. Ohh... how envy I was for their bumps~~ :dohh:

lauren - it all sound scary! hope you'll get all the answers you need~

how's everyone else doing?

afm, ultrasound appointment is today. I'm worry about it as I didn't have much bleeding after the medication (on and off cramping).

3 different invitations by some of the girlfriends
- Fri evening: Pool Party
- Sat evening: Karaoke Party
- Sun morning: Bfast/Girls' day out

Not sure if I'm up for these activities as none of them know about my situation. Coming up with some excuses!

Been browsing through BnB and also site 'TTC after a loss'. It gets pretty depressing and took a big chunk out of my "currently-trying-to-build-positivity-energy". Read some women got their BFP very soon after their mc and some after a year+! Also it took some people 3+months until their cycle begin to regulate. Ah.. this is not what I need to see right now (Can't believe I'm doing this to myself :dohh:)

Talked to a friend of mine who just told me she just got her period and "Thank god she's not pregnant". :dohh: I asked when would her & her DH start ttc. And she said "I don't think we're ready this year. And I don't like the year 2014. So we'll have 2015 baby". All I could say to that was... "ok" as I didn't know what else to say.

Anyways, I'm a firm believer that everything happened for a reason. (Just had a conversation with SIL recently, and something she said is stuck in my head. "I am a firm believer that suffering only helps you get stronger.") I guess that's true! I manage to find a positivity to this mc that if it is not meant to be, I'm just grateful that mc happens now and not when I'm further along. :thumbup:


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## Pino6161

lxb--- When I first found this site I debated going to the TTC after a loss, but it really is way to depressing, and I am the same way about trying to stay positive. Your NOT allowed to leave us!! :hugs:


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## lauren26

lxb, You are staying so strong!! Yes, try to stay away from those TTC after a loss forums UNLESS they help you!! You are completely allowed to have your feelings, but it's sometimes hard to differentiate between your feelings and someone else's when you're reading really sad stuff! Not trying to boss you, lol, just feeling protective! :hugs: I hope that the u/s goes well. I will be thinking about you! Dang that pharmacist!!! I LOLed at the image of you doing Wii fit with MIL watching. I look like a total idiot when I do that. That's tough that your friend is so nonchalant about pregnancy, and assumes it will be easy....Oh the unaware, lol! :) Your SIL is right--this experience will make you and DH so much stronger. And I have heard of many women getting pg soon after a MC. It's like the body gets 'prepped' for pregnancy and stays that way for a while. I hope your sticky bean comes soon!


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## lxb

Don't worry pino~ :haha: I wont leave you ladies~~~ I'm calling myself a sticky bean to this thread!!

Yes Lauren! Feel free to boss me all you want because I really NEED to stop going there & read all those stories! :dohh: There's this lady who recently has a mc in March, got her BFP ~June. Was told it could be the 'remainder' from her last mc. She was devasted. 2 days later... u/s, they found a heartbeat. BUT, few days later she started to bleed and ended up in another mc. :cry: talk about roller coaster!

Ahh.. I LOVE wii~~ :haha: I look like a total idiot too but who cares right~~ (when nobody's watching~ well... DH played with me too.. so did my sis/bil/mom! and NOT liking the idea of MIL watching~ :haha:)


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## SleepyOwl

lxb - Like Lauren said, just stay here with us...FOREVER!!! Isn't it so frustrating hearing our friends talk about getting pregnant like that? I know I probably sounded like that a year ago and I just cringe thinking about it. I was sooo naive and stupid!!

How is everyone doing this time around? I basically forced OH to have sex with me last night but whatever. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Irony of all ironies, I got my +OPK today and there is no way I'm going to be able to get a BD in. Oh well - hoping those spermies are where they are supposed to be lol.


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## lauren26

Sleepy LOL. I'm sure he didn't mind TOO much :) And you're probably good if you did last night and got a + today! You def. gotta do what you gotta do ;)

lxb - Yayyy for staying with us! And letting me boss you :) 

Afm, quick update since it's getting late. I am feeling more positive after asking a few women on BnB with severe endo and kids about their experiences. Also, I found a website about endo where many women gave testimonials of completely resolving their endo or suppressing it greatly using diet and natural medicine. I think that the overall belief is that there is no cure, but that's what they say about plenty of diseases that people recover from! Take that, diagnosis! Lol. Went back to acupuncture today for the first time in a couple of months and I feel good after. And I get to take tiny black pills! Lol.


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren, that is definitely encouraging! So nice to link up with women that are able to talk with you about their experiences and their children. You are so positive and have such a wonderful attitude - i know it will take a lot more than this diagnosis to keep you from your BFP. Lots Of positive prayers and thoughts your way girl!!


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## preg_pilot

SleepyOwl said:


> lxb - Like Lauren said, just stay here with us...FOREVER!!! Isn't it so frustrating hearing our friends talk about getting pregnant like that? I know I probably sounded like that a year ago and I just cringe thinking about it. I was sooo naive and stupid!!
> 
> How is everyone doing this time around? I basically forced OH to have sex with me last night but whatever. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Irony of all ironies, I got my +OPK today and there is no way I'm going to be able to get a BD in. Oh well - hoping those spermies are where they are supposed to be lol.

Heheh, I did that a couple of times. He didn´t complain ... much. :blush:
You´re definitely in if you BD´d yesterday :) +OPK means max 36 hours before O, so it´s only 2.5 days and the spermies can do alright for up to 5 days in there :)
Perfect timing.
:dust:

Lauren - I just wanted to :hugs: you.


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## countrygirl86

lxb - I love that you are a sticky bean to this thread! To the crazy lady thread! A close friend had a mc in July 2011 and got pregnant Jan 2012, with twins! There are stories that go both ways, taking a short amount of time and a long time but we are all here for you no matter how long it takes! You should do the boxing for wii and 'accidentally' do a spin kick at MIL lol oops is that mean?

lauren - the lap sounds really interesting, I didn't know they went in through the belly button. I tried to do zumba by myself, in my house, alone, and felt like a complete idiot and couldn't do it lol but I had no problem doing it in a class! Doesn't make sense. What are the black pills for?

Sleepy - yay for the timely BD and positive OPK! No point in stressing over it, it only takes one ;)

Well ladies I can't believe it's here already but I start my holidays after work today! 9 days of camping, beach, relaxing! I'll try to pop on with my phone but just know that I'll be thinking of you. :hugs:


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## lauren26

SleepyOwl said:


> Lauren, that is definitely encouraging! So nice to link up with women that are able to talk with you about their experiences and their children. You are so positive and have such a wonderful attitude - i know it will take a lot more than this diagnosis to keep you from your BFP. Lots Of positive prayers and thoughts your way girl!!

You are so sweet. Thank you :flower:


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## lauren26

To the crazy lady thread!!

preg - :hugs: :) Thank you!

country - LOL at accidental spin kick to MIL. I LOLed at the thought of you doing zumba alone, though I don't really know what zumba looks like!! The pills are just Chinese herbs the acupuncturist has me on. I don't know why I was so afraid of the herbs before! Anyway, how are you? How is your nausea? YAYYYY for holidays! Do you get a set period of time off every year, or did you take it off? Did you tell your boss? Sorry for all the questions! Lol. Beach and relaxing sounds AMAZING.


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## lxb

sleepy - I was like that too! Ah.. so naive at thinking it will happen the moment we start trying! :dohh: Here's me 1+ yr ago... 

"Okay, I want a 2012 baby! Which means I can should start trying in April 2011. But wait, our delayed honeymoon is in October and I don't want to get pregnant while I'm on my honeymoon~ So we'll start in October. Average time for a couple to conceive is ~6 months. So we're good to go!" :dohh:

country - Ah yes. spinning kick sounds like a good plan! :haha: I also tried zumba alone~~ Looking at the mirror.. i look nothing like the instructor! But just try to have fun and move along with the music! After all.. exercising is all about moving your body~ :haha: DH & I are thinking of a 'beach-trip'.. not sure when yet but looking forward to it~~


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## SleepyOwl

Lxb - I am laughing so hard at Country's " accidental Wii spinning kick to MIL" comment. Too bad I'm in full agreement. Make it happen lxb!!!! You want to hear how naive I was about a baby - I thought I would start trying in December 2011 and have a baby by my 30th bday (Sept 2012). How incredibly misinformed was I?!!

Lauren - I'm obviously very close to O'ing because your thank you comment made me tear up. So overly sensitive for zero reason at all lol!!

Haribo, Sashimi - I miss you ladies!! How are you both doing?

AFM - I hope I get pregnant this month!!!! Stating the incredibly obvious I know, but OH has heard it so many times I have to get it out of my system before yapping his ear off tonight. I am sort of scared that the couple we are going out with is going to tell us they are preggers. Drinking a glass of wine to prepare myself, lol!


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## lauren26

Sleepy - Aww!! Way to O ;) Still jealous of that CM.... :)

Afm, getting a little nervous about the time off and $$ required to do this lap/hysteroscopy/tube check thing. The more I think about it, the more it sounded like the doc told me they are doing 3 separate procedures. I have an individual insurance plan so the deductible is really high...OH feels it's time to do all this and we can pay the bill back over time, but I hate having stuff like that looming!! A big part of me feels like it's the right time to do the lap while another part feels like it could wait. Just tired of dealing with all of this! And a little envious that some women get pg for almost free still--only buying one test!


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## haribo813

Hi Sleepy, I'm good thanks! How was the dinner? Any pregnancy announcement? 

I am having a quiet weekend at home which I haven't done for months! OH away on a stag all weekend and I'm going on the hen tonight for drinks and dinner out with a group of girls, should be fun.

I'm actually really enjoying my time at home, last night I went out for dinner locally with my mum and sister, I did a DVD workout this morning (have to shift the baguette shaped souvenir on my tummy somehow) and have spent a few hours poring over the weekend papers with innumerable cups of tea. Why don't I do this more often?! I also forgot how much I really like our home-i've taken months to pull together some nice antique and vintage things (my dream job) and i hardly spend any time here-this must change!

Laughed a lot about the MIL wii comment, just brilliant. In fact, Country I love how you don't come on here very often but always seem to post something to the point and amusing to boot! (Hope you're enjoying your holidays btw). And Lxb, you are a strong, brilliant lady, with endless enthusiasm which is just what we all need.

Lauren I hope you're doing ok. I know it must be really hard to know what to do-as with so many ttc issues, I'm not sure there are right or wrong answers so you're doing an excellent job of making sure you're informed and then trusting your instincts. I'm sure the decision you make will be right for you at this moment in time.

Sashimi, how are you my dear? Hope all is well with you.

Treasured, sorry you're feeling upset about your friends' pregnancies. I totally understand how you're feeling and have been guilty of it with 1 of my friends. But my sister said something to me which made me see things a bit differently, when someone else gets pregnant you just have to think, well I want my OH's baby, not someone else's, which is what your friend's having. (Even though in this instance she's not even sure who the dad is, whoops). This whole process has totally underlined for me how life isn't fair and i need to get better at dealing with that. Because life is also long and it has its ups and downs, even if none of us feel like being challenged to the extent we are now. So i carry on trying to fight my bitter and angry feelings (to varying degrees of success!) and that's all you can do.

Pino, hope the BD plan is going well! I recently read an article about a couple who set themselves the challenge of BDing every day for 100 days (and they weren't even trying for a baby)-it was really interesting! 

I'm almost half way through my 2ww but this month we haven't BD'ed nearly as much (a bit of me kind of gave up this month); mostly because am now feel like i'm waiting for my fertility appt on 13 August. Hoping that I won't feel quite so responsible for our issues as it will be someone else's hands for a bit. Probably naive but it is working for me for now.

Have brilliant weekends lovely ladies xxxx


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## lauren26

Just tried to do something and it posted my post twice....


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## lauren26

Well, it looks like I might be getting AF 7 days early!!! I think that being on progesterone the last two months (I opted out this month because it made me gain weight super fast) may have messed my cycle up! I am 6dpo and got some rust-colored, watery blood (sorry!) when I checked my cervix this AM. I have spotted for several days before AF in the past, but nothing like this unless it's the day before or day of AF. Grrrrrrrr......Hopefully it's a false alarm. I would hate to have a 5 day LP! Oh well :shrug: at least I don't have cramps! :thumbup:

Haribo - Thank you!! And I'm so glad that you are spending some relaxing time at home! I am a total homebody--I love lounging around on the weekend :)

Hope everyone else is having a great weekend!!


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## treasured

Haribo, thank you soo much for your sweet comment and I do totally agree about our long lives and who we plan to spend them with! She will not have the amazing little family we will have when our baby's come along :) keep on keeping strong gal! 

Lauren, that sooooo could be implantation bleeding couldn't it? If you've never seen it before? Fx for you, no way af is coming that soon! Proud of the way you ate handling your results! 

How's the other ladies? Xx


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## lauren26

treasured - I guess it COULD be, but with my track record I am just not getting my hopes up! Lol. Honestly, I never like seeing AF but I did expect a weird cycle after progesterone. It might totally be a fluke, though. Isn't IB usually a bit lighter? Or brown/black blood? Anyway. I guess only time will tell! How are you??


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## SleepyOwl

Haribo - No pregnancy announcement last night! Thank goodness - it was actually a really nice night out and we stayed out late just talking and laughing. OH's team at work is amazing and it's always fun to hang out with them and their wives. 

Lauren - I hope it's IB also! I have no idea what it looks like though - I think I've seen comments on this site both ways as to it being darker and old blood and some people getting more red spotting. So who knows. If it's not IB though, I do hope your body resets itself after the progesterone so you can get back to more normal/predictable cycles. 

Thinking I definitely O'd yesterday as my temp was up today and I'm super bloated and gassy. This is what I hate about O'ing. I feel like I have a deflating balloon in my belly!


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Ladies!! Sorry I've been a bit quiet, I usually check BnB on my phone while I'm at work and it's impossible to write a long post from there. So this Thursday I have my appointment with my fertility doctor. I feel so disconnected from the chaos of those fertility appointments, I'm not sure what to ask anymore. I guess I just want to find out every possible scenario of what they could find and how long it will take to recover. In the meantime, I'm seeing my family doctor on Monday for my physical. I think I will mention everything that has been going on and I'd like her opinion. 

I went to a couple work functions this week and I got really hammered at one of them (by accident!) and stayed out until an ungodly hour. I never behave that way, and I threw up on Friday morning and went to work hungover. I was SO mad at myself! I'm a light weight and what's more is that I usually like to be in control of myself, so I rarely have more than 1 or 2 drinks. In a way, it was kind of nice to hang out with my 25-year-old co-workers who are all single and not thinking about TTC. It may have been the only night in a long time where I didn't think about TTC. But needless to say I am having a very quiet weekend!

Lxb - how are you feeling? That is really annoying that you had to run into PG women at your blood test. I joined a meditation group this past week... There were a couple nutjobs in the group, including a crazy homeless bum who kept shouting out that he had been reincarnated and that's why he was there... Anyway, the group really focuses on not letting external things be the reason you are sad, angry or even happy but finding peaceful emotions within you. I definitely feel negative emotions when I think about TTC, when I see PG zombie apocolypse women everywhere and I am trying to be more mindful that I have the power to control my emotions on this. I have noticed myself becoming really bitter and I'm going to put an end to it now! And Lxb, your positive attitude is such an inspiration. 

Sleepy - I never got a chance to congratulate you on your new job! That is really exciting. I think I also Oed within the last couple of days. I had an old Clearblue OPK kicking around, so I did it at 8pm the other night and I got the happy face. I just haven't really felt any real O symptoms so it feels like a weak O! I really won't get my hopes up for me, but I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. 

Haribo - I love staying at home and just enjoying our place. I feel like when I'm constantly busy during the week with work, and my evenings getting eaten up with work events, gym or socializing, I just need a day to stay in and do nothing! I'm excited for your fertility appointment on Aug 13. When I started seeing my doctor it gave me a lot of hope and I finally felt in control of this whole situation. Even though I'm in limbo and kind of put my progress at a stand still, I know I'll find the right solution what ever that may be. 

Country- hope you are enjoying camping. I wonder if you are also having the heatwave that Toronto has! I'm not complaining about the hot weather, because you know when winter rolls around and its freezing and getting dark at 4 pm we will be wishing for hot summer weather. I hope you are feeling good! I am not sure if you posted this yet, or maybe you did in your journal, but have you told your family about your news? 

Lauren - I wrote this to you in an email, but I also had the weird rusty bleeding for 1.5 days the month after stopping progesterone. It was while we were in Hawaii, about 5 days after I Oed and I was like either I am getting AF, then stupidly thought it was IB and then I realized that progesterone irritates your cervix and can cause bleeding, so I would say it is old blood from the progesterone making its way out. I dont think you have to worry about AF showing up. 

Treasured - Its so hard when people around you snap their fingers and get a BFP. I personally feel I have avoided several social situations this summer because I don't want to be around other married couples who could annouce their BFPs or who have newborns!! I'm really trying to get past this because I'm probably missing out on some good times. I think it's why I've been so quick to hang aorund my younger co-workers who aren't TTC crazy like me. You know you always have us to vent to when you get upset!

Pino - How are you doing? Hope you aren't feeling so stressed with thinking about your move and everything else that is going on. Big hugs!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend! We went to visit my parents tonight and took them out for dinner. There were a few big families having dinner around us and it reminded me of how when we were in Hawaii I kept seeing huge families on vacation together, posing on the beach in bad matching outfits for family portraits. At first it reminded me of that hilarious website awkwardfamilyphotos.com, but then it made me wonder if that would ever be me? Will I ever have a big family and be able to pose for a family portrait in bad matching outfits? It's funny the little things that get to me like this that make me wish for my own family.

My brother asked me today if I was planning on moving back to the suburb in which we grew up in. I said why the hell would I move to the 'burbs when we don't have any kids with none on the horizon. He said that I could be closer to his kids if we moved back. Sure, that would be nice to be closer to my niece and nephew, but I don't want to be the weird Aunt that is around all the time heckling their niece and nephew! I have a few friends who have crazy Aunts that constantly write on their Facebook profiles and Like every single thing they post. What if I turn into that Aunt!?

Anyway, I'm just rambling now. Speak to all of you ladies soon! xoxoxo


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi - I'm totally already that aunt!!! Granted my niece is 4, but whenever she posts something about my niece, I am all over it!! Glad you were able to let loose a bit this week (not so great that you weren't feeling well after); we all need those nights once in a while and it really is nice to think about TTC all the time. At this fertility appt, you'll be discussing the lap surgery right? I hope you get all the answers you need so that you can be totally comfortable with your decision!!


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## Pino6161

So I have been kinda avoiding BnB as I have been a bit overwhelmed lately.

So nothing really to update. I have been spending a lot of time with my niece and nephew, hence a lot of time with the in-laws.

I have been having really weird dreams lately and it has out me in a weird mood. I feel scared, and worried about all the little things. I know it is really starting to worry my husband. I can't really explain it all and it scares him, but I can't even explain it to myself.

The move is still going to happen, but I am scared we are not going to be able to afford it. :cry:. We have issues with spending. IDK.

My mood has been up and down, but my libido is alive and well. It is all very clashing.

I will update on everyone else later when I am back to my normal self. :hugs:


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## lauren26

Pino - I'm sorry you're feeling this way!! Transitions are very overwhelming, especially when you feel like there's not a proper foundation in place. You and OH seem to communicate a lot and well--as long as you both keep being open about everything that's coming up around the move, I'm sure you'll be able to make a good plan that you can both trust in. It's hard being around in-laws all the time, too. Be sweet to yourself! I always have horrid dreams when I stay with my in-laws over Christmas, and I leave feeling like I've picked up on everyone else's energy all week to the point where I have a hard time finding solid ground within myself a little bit. It's fun, but also stressful, and group dynamics can be challenging. Take good care of yourself and take advantage of that libido ;)


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## treasured

Heyy gals!

Need some quick advice.... My friend that has just found out shes like 4 months pregnant has told me that the girl that was going to go with her to her scan has canceld so she wants me to go. I dont actually think I could cope with that but dont really have an excuse ! I want to be a supportive friend and Im sure if she knew I was TTC she wouldnt ask me but because she doesnt I dont really have a reason not to... What do I do? Im just not even ready for that AT ALL! 

Thanks! xx


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## SashimiMimi

Sleepy - I am pretty much that aunt as well. I'm obsessed with pics and news about my niece and nephew. Niece will be 4 in October, but she is already so grown up and articulate and says the most hilariously witty things. I love to Skype or FaceTime with her as they live a good 1.5 hour drive from me and it's tough to see them on a regular basis.

Pino - sorry to hear you are feeling down. Hugs!!

Treasured - are you comfortable with being honest with your friend? Tell her the truth and say you will be there for her but aren't in a place where you feel you can go to the scan and be the support she needs?? 

I feel like every time I go on Facebook there is someone else who is PG or just had a baby. I've been deleting people right left and center because I just don't want to see it. Now I went on and there is this girl I knew who was single up until last summer and just got married and is now very PG. I can't believe I've been married for 3 years and we don't have kids. Like mostly everyone here I never dreamed I would be one of those women who struggled. I remember seeing my fertility doctor for the first time this pet march and he said the lap and IVF would be the last steps and I immediately thought we would never get to that point and here we are at the lap stage...

My SIL offered to be a surrogate which brought me to tears as its the kindest thing anyone has ever offered. I never imagined I would ever get to the point of taking her up on something so huge, but as we near the end of our options I wonder if we would ever go that route. OH said to me the other day that he is amazed people can just BD and have a baby and that's it.


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## SashimiMimi

Treasured - the more I think about it the more I feel like we need to put ourselves first and protect our emotions. I know we can't all go through life avoiding people with BFPs and babies, but if you feel the scan will be too much then don't put yourself through that. Your friend is looking for support and you may not be able to offer what she needs at this point.

Mind you I tried to avoid seeing friends who just had a baby and always ask me if I have news. I got into a huge argument with OH over it, caved and ended up going and it was fine. They were actually really supportive and seeing the baby did not upset me as I thought it would. 

So go with your gut treasured and do what is going to make YOU feel best. You don't owe anything to anyone.


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## treasured

Thank you Sashimi :) I dont think I am ready to tell her about my TTC... I guess because most of my friends are young, unprepared and still enjoying their youth (ie, partying all the time) I mean I enjoy it too obviously as anyone does but I dont think many of them can relate to me wanting a baby. 

I think I will have to find an excuse to get out of it, im trying to come to terms with her walking around with a new baby but dont think I could hold her hand and comfort her in a scan when I know it should be me instead!!!

It really does suck that you have had to get to the lap stage :( I know that is to determine what problems are happening inside but have the docstors given you any sort of idea what is going wrong? you mentioned a while back about your CM just not allowing OH sperm in? or am I confusing things? That is amazing of your SIL to offer that and nice that it is such a close person rather than an unknown surrogate! I dont know if I could deal with it though, having another woman experience the bond that is made during pregnancy :( think I would rather adoption if it came to it as it would be just like the stork dropped them off to me :) haha! 

Hopefully it wont come to this though, still keeping my hopes up for us :) xx


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## treasured

p.s I dyed my hair yesterday, quite a drastic change from blonde to brown and feel like its a fresh start! got myself a spray tan too so I dont feel so pale due to our AWFUL 'summer' weather! woo for new starts and feeling good about yourself! :)


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## Pino6161

Treasured-- about 2 months ago I did the same thing. Dyed my blonde hair brown :haha:


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## SleepyOwl

Treasured - I'm with Sashimi on this one. Do what is best for YOU and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. It is so nuts that this has happened to two of your friends now!! I would be going absolutely nuts. 

Sashimi - So kind of your SIL. I can only imagine what kind of emotions her saying that brought up though. I don't think anyone expects to have to get to the stage of assisted reproduction or waiting so long for their BFP. It's hard coping with the hand we've been dealt. I'm hoping these next steps in your fertility journey will bring you that BFP friend. 

Pino - :hugs: Sorry to hear you are feeling down! I know the move will be stressful, but I'm sure it will be worth it being closer to your mom. Hope your mood picks up soon!!


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## lauren26

Sashimi - that is incredibly generous of your SIL!! Even if you never, ever have to go that route, it's nice to know you the option to do surrogacy through someone you trust and love.

Treasured - I am with these ladies. Is just explain you can't offer the support she needs right now and hope she understands without asking top many questions.

It is 1:30am here and I can't sleep! I used to have an adrenal issue that pretty much prevented me from sleeping most nights, but it's been months since I've gone through a night like this. Monday will be extra hard! Hoping this BnB break will help.


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## lxb

Sashimi - Yep... we all need to find peaceful emotions within ourselves, and it is hard! We need to focus on things we have control over (our actions, decisions, and feelings). All other things, we can only hope for the best and do whatever we can to turn that around and to make the best of it. Sometime when I was hanging out with my sis, I would see her bump. And for a few split seconds, I would think... "I was only suppose to be ~5 weeks behind her. And now I'm back at the line... waiting for the phase to pass and waiting to start ttc again. But at least I have a very supporting DH and loving family. I treat my niece/nephew as if they were my own~~ As I've mentioned before, they calls me "Auntie-mama" so I am one of those crazy aunts too~ and my sis is loving it~~ :haha:

treasured - I'm with all these ladies~ do what is best for YOU. :) Oo... I was thinking about cutting my hair~~ (My hair is currently down to my butt!! Wanted to cut it to above shoulder length... but I think I'm chickening out again~ :dohh:)

pino - how are you feeling today?

lauren - Ahh.. how is your monday so far? DH & I stayed up over the weekend ~2am on both Sat & Sun~ watching some movies!! (we took naps during the day though) Didnt' want to get up this morning~ :dohh:

sleepy - thought about your constant effort of napping whenever you can. I found myself took an extra second or two (or 5!) whenever i blink! :haha:


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## treasured

So i decided to go with you gals and tell my friend I cant go on Thurs, I decided to take my grandmother to a group thing she goes to instead, and use it as an excuse. I offered to give her a lift to the clinic though, just out of kindness.....she doesnt drive. 

Lxb- omggg you should totally go for it, and then give me your extra hair cause mine doesnt seem to grow haha! probably cause Ive died it so many times.But in seriousness you should totally do somthing for YOURSELF that will make you feel really good about yourself, cause dying mine has made me feel a bit more sexy and confident haha, its worked wonders for OHs labido too he cant leave me alone ;) love it! but deffinately treat yourself to some lxb love :) 

pino- love that you dyed yours too! did it give you a new lease of life, i feel like a new woman hehe!

lauren- do you still have no sign of full blown AF? are you still spotting? :)

in other news.... I got offered to take over for the lead role in a play which will be in the fringe festival in Edinburgh (quite a big deal) cause the main girl dropped out. Ive decided not to take it up, as im waiting on my job interview and am enjoying my space atm. plus Id be rehersing every night untill august, learning an entire hour long script and then performing all of august so I think its just a bit too much for me. BUT it was a real booster just to be considered :D (I love acting/singing incase id never mentioned that haha) 

peace out ladies xxxx


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## treasured

So i decided to go with you gals and tell my friend I cant go on Thurs, I decided to take my grandmother to a group thing she goes to instead, and use it as an excuse. I offered to give her a lift to the clinic though, just out of kindness.....she doesnt drive. 

Lxb- omggg you should totally go for it, and then give me your extra hair cause mine doesnt seem to grow haha! probably cause Ive died it so many times.But in seriousness you should totally do somthing for YOURSELF that will make you feel really good about yourself, cause dying mine has made me feel a bit more sexy and confident haha, its worked wonders for OHs labido too he cant leave me alone ;) love it! but deffinately treat yourself to some lxb love :) 

pino- love that you dyed yours too! did it give you a new lease of life, i feel like a new woman hehe!

lauren- do you still have no sign of full blown AF? are you still spotting? :)

in other news.... I got offered to take over for the lead role in a play which will be in the fringe festival in Edinburgh (quite a big deal) cause the main girl dropped out. Ive decided not to take it up, as im waiting on my job interview and am enjoying my space atm. plus Id be rehersing every night untill august, learning an entire hour long script and then performing all of august so I think its just a bit too much for me. BUT it was a real booster just to be considered :D (I love acting/singing incase id never mentioned that haha) 

peace out ladies xxxx :hugs:


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## lauren26

Treasured - !!!!! Congrats!!!! We have a Fringe festival here that most of my friends are a part of and that my husband has done for about 7 years--I know the Fringe started in Edinburgh, and I know how big of a deal that is!! I hope you get to do it!! SO amazing! No, AF is not here but she is not due, either. I was afraid I'd get her a week early! I have very light spotting but nothing major. I think I had what Sashimi did--post-progesterone bleed. 

lxb - I feel surprisingly great today! I don't know how or why, lol. I slept in late on Sunday, which is maybe why I couldn't sleep, but maybe I just didn't need the sleep? Still stressful to not fall asleep, but whatever! As long as I can function today, I'm good.


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## treasured

ohhh wow i knew there were some other fringes around the world but didnt know where thats amazing! well, dont count yourself out, you never know it could be IB i HOPE it is :D!!

im only 5dpo but im noticing much sorer boobs than usual, like they feel sore without even touching them, and realllly watery CM. god knows if its a symptom though Im not counting them cause im always wrong haha! 

x


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Ladies! I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed today. I had my physical appointment with my family doctor this morning and talked to her in great detail about what has been going on in regards to fertility. She feels my doctor has a great reputation, that he is up-to-date on all the latest treatments, but felt that if the whole experience is too stressful and too rushed she could send me to someone else. She did mention that a) all fertility clinics are like mine. Pandemonium. b) that I would have to go through ALL the same tests over again, including the HSG test (dye run through the tubes during an xray) and basically start everything over from scratch. There is NO WAY I'm doing an HSG again, and I think going to someone else is just going to set me back 3 months into my progress.

She did say that it is very rare, but very possible that someone like myself with regular cycles, no cramps and a rather light AF could actually have endo. I think her just saying it was a possibility has put me straight into a panic. She explained that they could scrape it out, but then it is a race to get PG before it grows back. And each time you do the surgery more scar tissue is created and a BFP gets more difficult. She did said that many people do get PG after having a lap, and if its the endo case, get PG after having it scraped. My doctor felt I was totally in the right to meet with my doctor and discuss why we are doing the lap, and the long-term and short-term steps for what will follow. 

Lxb - I know what you mean with that "But I was supposed to be..." feeling. I feel like that every time I see a PG lady. I talked to my doctor about how upset and angry I feel and she recommended I see a therapist. She says a lot of clinics make their patients see a therapist before IVF. In the back of my mind, I have kind of thought I am getting to the point where I may need to talk to someone, but I dont know how it will help. It's not like they will grant me a BFP. I think that is why I am trying out the meditation group to see if I can find some sort of inner peace. 

Lauren - Sorry you had trouble sleeping. Welcome to my world. As a rule, I cover all the clocks before going to bed so I don't know what time it is. I find it helps, because when I see 2 am or 3 am roll around I start to panic. 

I hope I'm okay tonight because I feel major anxiety today that I haven't felt in ages. I think this whole summer TTC break has just put everything on the back burner and now its becoming top of mind again. Thanks for listening, Ladies!

I'm incredibly nervous to meet with my doctor this Thursday and I don't know why. I guess just meeting with him will put the surgery into motion and I think it scares me more than I let on. Also, while I was at the doctor I got an email from my boss saying that I didn't edit something more carefully and a few typos went to print. (I work for a magazine.) There are tons of deadlines creeping up on me and I'm just feeling overwhelmed as I was dead set on not letting this job get in the way of my fertility treatments, but it's impossible to balance both with the way I am feeling right now. I've been researching how to negotiate time off for fertility, but I'm still so new in this position I feel really uncomfortable about discussing it. 

Anyway, sorry for the long vent. While we are on the topic of hair, I dyed my hair from blond to dark brown a few years ago and kept it for a year. I liked it, but every time I looked in the mirror I forgot I had dark hair and it would make me jump because I didn't recognize myself!! I've spent the last year and a bit slowly going back to blond and I feel more like myself this way. However, changing your hair can make you feel so great!


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## treasured

sashimi :hugs: i feel for you :( , your really not having it easy are you! and your supposed to be relaxing! maybe talking to someone would be helpful though I really wish there was someone other than OH to talk to but I dont feel like i can talk to my friends yet... 

hope you sleep well tonight :) x


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks, Treasured!! By the way, that fringe play sounds really cool... Even if you are not prepared to take it on, what an offer!! I used to do acting in commercials and music videos when I was younger, but really wish I had gotten into stage acting. It's such a fun, creative outlet!!


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## lauren26

Sashimi, I'm so sorry you had such a rough day! I can imagine how overwhelming it must have been just to even imagine seeing a new doc and getting all the tests run again. Even if you don't do it--the suggestion itself sounds overwhelming! I am in the exact same place as you with feeling like it's impossible to give my attention to work and fertility. My clinic is supposed to be open 8-4:30 but they only answer the phone from 9-4, so I have to run out and make calls throughout the day and I feel really aware of it and self conscious. Anyway, I wish I could say that the lap is totally routine and everything will be fine etc. etc. but I realized today how completely scared about it I am feeling! It's great that your doc said the other doc has a good rep, and the fact that things are rushed is frustrating, but you can totally take your own time, and do everything exactly when it feels right and safe. Regarding therapy, I see someone weekly and she's amazing--AND she's the mother of a small boy and specializes in neonatal therapy, which I thought would trigger me but it just hasn't. In fact, I always feel amazing after having a session with her, especially when we talk about fertility issues. I hope that you feel better and get a good night's rest. I sometimes have to force myself to take three giant, slow breaths at bedtime just so I can relax enough to realize I'm in bed.


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## SleepyOwl

Treasured - How exciting to be offered that role!! I wish I had any sort of talent like that. Makes sense if you don't want to take it though since it is such a large commitment. And good idea on taking your grandma! Glad you are doing what is best for you :hugs:

Sashimi - What a tough day - such an overwhelming visit for sure as well as journey you've had. I think that's the right choice to stick with your current clinic especially if they are all like that. No point in going backwards, when you can hopefully move forward from this point on. I think the therapist idea is great though. My sister saw one for a while during her TTC journey and found a lot of comfort in speaking to someone who was totally removed from the situation. 

Lxb - I took a few long blink naps at work after I read your post earlier. They did the trick, lol!!

Lauren - I hope you get some rest tonight!!!

Pino, Haribo - How are you two doing?

Nothing new on my end except I have terrible gas today and I feel super unattractive. Gotta love the few days after O...can't wait for that to pass. Pun intended :coffee:


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## lauren26

LOL Sleepy, on your pun. How did I miss long blink naps?? I should totally try that!


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## haribo813

I was doing ok until I found out 15 mins ago that the girl whose wedding we went to on 21 April is pregnant and due in January-got pregnant on honeymoon. Meanwhile I'm filling in forms to assess eligibility for a fertility specialist to go along to on my 31st birthday and AF is due on Sunday.

Every new person that gets pregnant so easily makes me think we've got an even bigger issue-why is it taking so long? There's obviously something wrong. Maybe we'll never be able to have kids? etc etc. That's kind of my line of thought tonight.

Just got back home so am starving, eating dinner really late and yoga at 8am tomorrow-not ideal.

Sorry to whinge and sorry it seems like a tough week for quite a lot of us,
xxxx


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## Pino6161

So quick bit of knowledge I found out....

People are expecting a baby boom among TTCers that are reading the 50 Shades Trilogy. Woman are getting more turned on, which means more sex, and cervical fluid. I know for me it's been that way. (We have sex about 2x a day :blush:)

I thought I would let you know! My OH found out, and told me to read them again :haha:


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## lxb

sashimi - hope you're feeling better today. and good luck on the appt tomorrow! hope it provides you with the answers you needed and the comfort that you needed so it won't be such a distraction for your work anymore. it is hard to concentrate on something when your mind is wondering off and is full of worries~

treasured - congrats on the role~~~ bet you must feel like you're in cloud 9~~ hope the hair trick will trick out AF and bringing on your bfp! :thumbup: I think I might go a little below shoulder length because I'm chickening out to go from butt length to ear-length! :wacko:

haribo - so sorry hun that you have to deal with all that. as I've mentioned before, we went to SF to visit a friend (who got married in July, preggo in Aug, now baby in May 2012)! And she said she was depressed for a while when the baby first borned as it's no longer about her anymore and that she can't just pick up and go to wherever/whenever. Grass is always greener on the other side indeed~

pino - :haha: i actually saw that thread! something "oopsy" thread! and all about the 50 shades of grey. hope it works for you~~

sleepy - trip is almost here!!! :dance: I'll be dreaming about beach when I take my 5-second-blinking-eye-nap! :haha:

lauren - did you try the 5-s nap?? :haha: it works wonder! Like a quick 5 s meditation! or longer if you wish~~

afm, bleeding slowed down and I think I'm "spotting" today! :dance: and boob hurts much less today~ So feeling pretty good! :bodyb: Made myself feel extra good by putting on fresh coat of polish (sinful color brand - boogie night)~~ Still debating if I should cut my hair! I'm such a chicken!


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## SleepyOwl

So quiet on here today!!

Lxb - Yay for spotting!! So funny to be saying that right? Your nail polish color sounds sassy; I like!! 

Haribo - :hugs: That is so frustrating having to deal with that. One day that'll be us, but I know that doesn't make you (or me) feel any better in the moment. 

Lauren - How's work going for you? Has it calmed down a bit? 

Sashimi - I miss you!! Hope you're okay!! 

Pino - Umm, I'm about to read that book as part of my TTC regimen. Lol, I am desperate and will try anything!!

Treasured, Country - How are you both???


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## lauren26

Hey Sleepy! Work is calm but also totally busy still, lol. I visited our new building today and took a look at my office--it's teensy! But at least I'll have a door to slam, lol. How are you?? Is your new job going already?

Sashimi, I will think of you tomorrow at your appointment! Ask every single thing that comes up :).


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## SleepyOwl

I'm waiting on my security clearance and background check; once that is processed I'll negotiate a start date which will be ASAP, lol. I'm desperate to get back to work. I hope I have a door to slam too :)


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## lauren26

LOL everyone else in my office is so bad about door slamming. All I want is to just get one good SLAM in on a really noisy day. :haha: Are you wanting to go back to work to have that structure and stimulation during the day?


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## SleepyOwl

Yes!! I'm bored out of my mind and I'm starting to feel really unproductive. Of course vacation should help solve the boredom issue!


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## lauren26

Uggggghhhhhh my temp is way down today and it's only 11dpo!! If that progesterone ruined my already short 12 day LP I will be so mad!!! As soon as I mentioned the flat temps they changed. Boo! Already, now that's out of my system :). How is everyone else today?


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## Pino6161

:hi: everyone!!

So yesterday I went and saw my brother and sister. It has been a year since I saw them last. We were in the pool a majority of the time. I am BRIGHT RED from sunburn!! I was wearing sunscreen but me and my sister have very fair skin, so we both burned. It was so hard saying goodbye. My sister (who is now 11) started crying, and then I did. I miss her so much!!

So my temp dropped ALOT today, and I haven't even O'd yet!! I think it is cause of the sunburn though, so I am not really worried too much.

I haven't really been on here lately due to the emotional rollercoaster I am on.

Hopefully everyone is doing better than I am. :hugs:


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## lxb

lauren - argh!! I just saw your chart! AF showed?! Hope you're feeling okay

sleepy - vacation definitely helps with boredom! I can't imagine not working... especially if I have to be home alone with MIL. I would go :wacko:

pino - Such an emotional time huh. Especially you don't get to see them so often. Hope you are feeling better. Ooo ... just saw your chart! Nice BD streak!! Those 50 shades worked huh! :haha:


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## Pino6161

Oh yes :haha: I love my 50 shades :blush: :haha:


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Gang! It's been quite an eventful couple of days. At the risk of writing a novel, I'll stick to the fertility developments. OH and I met with our fertility doctor today, I went in fully expecting to plan the lap and get answers regarding the surgery. We did a full review of all my tests and I learned that I have a low ovarian reserve. This means that biologically, my reproductive system is older than I really am. This doesn't mean I have poor egg quality, it just means that time is not on my side and I am approaching TTC like someone in their late 30s as opposed to someone in their early 30s. 

The second thing we found out was that while OH has the gold medal winning sperm count, his actual fertility quality is just good. It's on the cusp of being good to excellent, so not bad but not great either. It's just okay. The doctor feels the sperm is surrounding the egg, but not penetrating it.

Because of the low reserve, a lap could be risky. The doctor doesn't want to do anything to disrupt the existing reserve, so it has been recommended we go straight into IVF. I could do a couple more IUI, but he would really ramp up the fertility drugs. He said I could do a lap, but he doesn't feel it's necessary at this point. So we talked about IVF, the cost, the procedure and then we ended an hour long meeting for me to go home and think about it.

I was pretty shaken up while walking back to work. I was checking Facebook on my phone when I saw a photo with the quote: Don't be afraid to fail. Be afraid not to try.

I really needed to hear that at that very moment. When I got back to work I went to see our HR person and told her flat out that I can't have kids naturally and due to recent developments, there is a bit of an urgency for me to do IVF. I told her we have tried for a year, had multiple failed procedures and I'm running out of options. The HR person immediately broke down into tears and said she was going through the same thing. That she has had two MCs since the beginning of 2012 and is now seeing a fertility specialist. We really bonded and discussed all the stresses of TTC. She told me she is part of a fertility yoga and support group and she is going to see if I can join. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. We came up with a game plan and she went and spoke to my manager and said that I have a problem with my "lady parts" and would require a medical procedure that would cause me to work from home certain days. I later spoke with my manager and said I have an unexplained abdominal problem and would require a surgical procedure, but would give as much notice as I can... It's true really, IVF is kind of like surgery in a way...

The HR person also informed me that my benefits cover up to $4000 of the IVF drugs. About 3-4k of IVF is because of the drugs so that helps. She also even said if I couldn't afford it that she could look into getting me a cash advance from the company and then I could pay it back from my paychecks. I was overwhelmed and blown away the generosity and support for something like infertility.

That's another thing. Today is the first time I actually said out loud that I have infertility and I felt okay with that. My name is Sashimi, I have infertility and it's okay. This must be how a drug addict or alcoholic feels when they finally admit they have a problem. It was really nice to connect with someone in the office who is going through the same thing as me and know that I am in an environment where I can be supported. 

I'm not sure what I am going to do, I admit I am leaning toward IVF because I feel like another IUI would be wasted time, energy and money. 

Oh, and I found out there are other people in my office who have gone through this. One guy that I never speak to brought his very pregnant wife to our company BBQ. They have 5 MCs before this and did assisted conception. Someone who had my job before was told she would never get pregnant and then she did, but had a severe MC and hemorrhaged to the point where she was in the hospital. She had told everyone she is PG and ended up quitting and moving to the UK where her husband is from. So it just proves that everyone has their story. And when we see those PG women EVERYWHERE, maybe they strugged, too. 

I'm feeling confused as to what to do, but I feel for the first time in ages that I am coming out of limbo. I've been do down and depressed, the thought of IVF terrifies me, I never thought I would be one of those women who have to go that route, but this is what it is and at least this option is available to me.


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## lauren26

Sashimi I have written to you already but want to say that I'm really excited that you have information to work with, that I feel IVF will knock it out of the park, and that it's so amazing to find out about women IRL who can relate and/or have paved the way!! I also know how impactful that information must have been and I encourage you to take space, rest, and not put any more pressure on the timeline than you already feel. The right answer will surface :)

Ladies, I also had a big day! I woke up hoping for another nice, steady temp, and got a huge plummet with an early AF!!! I didn't write this on here because I thought it would go a different route, but the other day after work I decided to POAS and thought I saw a hint of pink. There was a line but I didn't know if it was pink, so I took a pic and inverted it and all of that obsessive stuff and it looked like a very faint but definitely there line--similar to when I had a chemical in Feb. I thought, ok.....well we'll see tomorrow!!! The next morning I POAS and again there was a hint of pink but a little lighter, then in the evening even lighter, and this morning stark white. I got AF at work. The POAS combined with the sudden giant temp plummet and AF two days early makes me wonder. I called my doc and they said it would be too late, probably, for a blood test, though it might show up, but that it wouldn't change their recommendations about the lap etc. SO. I got another call an hour later saying that my early AF messed up the surgery schedule and they wanted to do it on Tues--of next week!!!! I quickly talked with my bosses and OH and the financial person at the hospital and decided to go ahead with it. The timing is a little crazy with work since I just got back but they were really supportive and actually I think it'll be easier to do it now than later. This way I can get it out of the way and not have it looming!! And I sometimes love when I have to make big decisions really quickly like this because it doesn't allow me tons of time to rework it from every angle and make up a million stories and obsess. This way I know it's coming, my shock factor will keep me from worrying too much about it between now and Tues, and it'll be done. I am totally scared, of course, but my OH will be there and my mom AND stepmother wanted to come, lol. Very sweet and a little embarrassing! So! That is my big news for the day. I will be out for 4 days next week--plenty of time to hang around on BnB! :) 

How is everyone else doing? Pino, that IS a serious streak! Sorry to hear about your sunburn!! That's painful. 

lxb, How are you?? I'm glad you're almost done with the bleeding and you can start working on the coconut bun! :)


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## Pino6161

Sash--- Sounds like a long day :hugs: At least you were able to get everything explained!! And you are not alone!! :hugs:

Lauren--- Your lap is so close!! I am excitedly nervous for you!! I am sure everything will go smoothly!! :hugs:

I am determined to have sex as often as I can :haha: and OH isn't really complaining :blush:


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## ladyf

hi everyone ...again.
l joined this thread when it was starting by felt a bit overwhelmed with ttc and didn't even know where l was in my journey cause of my gynae and dr who were not clear about the next step....don't think they knew what they were doing.

just to recap: am 30 DH is 32. ttc for 18 months. DH SA - 17 mil in march motility & morphology - great. l have fibroids (outside the uterus). anyway, l decided to see a Fs last month who did some tests and found out l have a low ovarian reserve. so he said ivf was our only way to concieve and in a way he sounded as if he was saying we are running out of time. so l have my appt with the nurse,counsellor and administrator(for fees) on the 24th of August.l am going to have the down regulation cycle. l am so afraid that it will not work.think l am going crazy and just need to be around some lovely ladies who might have any ideas of what l am going through.

Sashimi-sorry to hear about your news too. atleast you know what the problem is and you can move towards the right direction. when are you having your appointments? do you have any information about the cycle you will be doing?

Lauren- GL with the lap.

anyone headed for ivf too?

haven't had a chance to read through the whole thread yet but wanted to wish all the ladies on this thread lots of baby dust. hope we get that Bfp soon whichever way.


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## SashimiMimi

Ladyf welcome back!! I'm not sure if you read my last post but yesterday I found out I also have a low ovarian reserve. I'm 31 OH is 38. IVF was strongly recommended as next steps. I've done 3 failed IUIs since starting this post, so I feel like it is time to move on to IVF now. I'll either go for it when my next cycle starts or wait until september. Part of me feels I need an extra month to emotionally prepare... So if you are going for IVF, we can be buddies along the way! The low reserve thing is shocking and I don't totally understand what it means for me.


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## ladyf

Sashimi- l did read your post, it sucks to be in our position. l was told about the low AMH last week Wednesday. mine is less than one.:cry: they need me & DH to do a police check and child protection check before we can start, and that takes two weeks to process.it gives us a month and a half before the appointments to start the process. so we will probably start during the September cycle. so, yes we can be buddies.
the clinic sent me some information about the cycle l will be doing. seems like there will be a lot of injections,not looking forward to that.

yes,this ttc journey had taken a turn l never expected and sometimes l feel drained, physically and emotionally. it's such a rollercoster.


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## Pino6161

Hey everyone!! So my temp went waaayyy up today, but it's usualy to early for me to ovulate :shrug: I am wondering if it's the sunburn. I mean yesterday it dipped pretty low, and today it shot up. I am a bit confused. I am starting to think this monitor was a waste of money!!! Grrrrrrrr.

On another note I guess there is supposed to be a big storm tonight. I really hope so, that way OH can FINALLY get a day off!!

How is everyone doing today?? :hugs:


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## lxb

Sashimi - It's great that you've finally have some answers!! And it seems like the doctor is helpful. And have a clear direction as to where to go from here. And I'm soo glad the HR person is so helpful and you have someone to talk to, relate to, and so understanding about this. Infertility is definitely something hard to come to terms with. The only way to make things better and feel better about yourself is to accept your issues. You are one strong lady! And I'm so glad you find a way to handle this and moving forward :hugs:

lauren - work sounds crazy! And I am so glad everyone around you are being supportive. This is all you need and all you can really ask for at a time like this. I can understand what you mean by you like making big decisions quickly to avoid thinking too much about it. Sometimes you just need to bite the bullet and push yourself forward. :hugs:

pino - you two are some bd machine! and which guy would ever complain about bd eh?? :haha: Yea.. perhaps your temp today is because of the sunburn! I'm allergic to sunblock~~ my only option after my sunburn is to use cooling gel! (Just checked the weather in my area) Guess there is big storm coming this weekend!! Oh my... hot & humid... :wacko:

ladyf - welcome back! ttc is definitley an emotional/physical roller coaster. we are all here for you :hugs:

afm, i see TWO tiny spots today! :happydance: and it's about time!! DH kept asking me if I'm still bleeding as it has been a while since we dtd :shy: :haha: One order of coconut bun.. coming right up! :bodyb: (or ... try to... )

Blood work is scheduled today to measure my hcg level. Dont think it's back down yet as my body still thinks I'm preggo. Had bloody taste in my mouth yesterday and canker sores! :wacko:


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## treasured

9dpo and bfn for me this afternoon! I know it's early ad I dunno why I bother testing I just can't resist haha. My boobs have been ridiculously sore and swollen since ovlulation so if im not pregnant this month that's another symptom to add to the random unhelpful symptoms list! Im going to see batman tonight with oh though so very excited! I guess I'll test again on Sunday or Monday unless af shows her face! Il also post later on when ib the computer to everyone individually :) love to all xx


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## haribo813

Sashimi, what a couple of days you have had. I am sorry about your news but am pleased that you seem to be very well taken care of both at work and by your doctor. IVF may seem like a slightly surreal and daunting next stage but we know lots of people for whom it's successfully worked and who said it wasn't anything like as bad as they were expecting it to be. I wondered how your doctor could tell from your tests that you have a low ovarian reserve? Which tests need to be done to show this? I think this may be something that I also have a problem with.

Lauren, things have been moving fast for you! I can definitely see why only a few days notice is perfect for types like us who agonise over the ifs and buts continually! I hope you are able to enjoy your weekend and feel like the responsibility of deciding what's next is off your shoulders.

Pino hope you're still enjoying your raunchy book and are keeping up your routine.

Lxb excellent news that the bleeding has stopped, and onwards and upwards for you two, I have all my fingers crossed.

Sleepy/Country, how are you?
Welcome Lady and exciting you're moving on to the next steps, hope it all goes well.

xxxxxx


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## lauren26

lxb - Thank you! You are such a supportive lady and I really appreciate having you as a resource :) I hope that HCG is way down and you guys can get workin' on that order!! Lol. Glad your bleeding is done, though, and hopefully you and OH can 'relax' together tonight...

Pino - Def. looks like you ovulated, girl! It could be the sunburn, but it looks like you Oed. Fx! Your sure BDed enough to catch the window, lol.

haribo - Thank you, I do feel like things are sort of out of my hands now. Don't know if that's good or bad, but it is!! Lol. It's not a relief yet because I'm scared, but it'll all be over soon.

Afm, had my pre-op today and it scared the sh*** out of me. They have to tell you every single thing that can go wrong including death etc etc and it was just terrifying. The first half was with a physician's assistant at the clinic and the second half was with two delightful older nurses at the hospital. I wanted to smack the pa by the end of our meeting because she was totally unskillful and tasteless about how she described some of the procedures. I don't want to go into it because it will make me squirm, but she just gave me waaaaaay more info than I ever cared to have about what they do, and delivered the information in an off-handed and careless way!! Anyway, the older nurses saved the day by answering every single one of my questions and listening to my fears. That was nice. I make a bunch of jokes when I'm nervous and they really hung in there and laughed at some! Lol. So I am very nervous and not looking forward to all of this, but I am glad that it will be done soon and will be relieved to be diagnosed with endo and not cancer. Plus, I did learn that it might not be as bad as they told me it could be. The pre-op stuff I have to do is sort of unpleasant but that will go by quick, too! And I feel like I will at least be able to report back and support anyone else on here that might end up with a lap, though I hope none of you ever have to do it!


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## SleepyOwl

Hey all! Looks like I've missed a lot of big news since yesterday. For some reason BnB wasn't working on my computer :( It's back now though!

Sashimi - I'm sorry you've had to go through so much these past couple of months, but I am happy that you finally have an answer and something to work off of. You seem like you are handling it so well and you are being so strong. How crazy that the HR rep is going through a similar struggle. It's so true - we see pregnant women everywhere and we have no idea what their TTC journey was like. One day women will look at you with your belly and probably feel the same way. I also think emotionally and mentally you have reached a good place where you can accept your fertility issues and hopefully that acceptance will make IVF somewhat easier. How is OH dealing with everything? 

Lauren - Ahh, those disclaimers are so frightening!! Glad the more experienced nurses were able to answer all of your questions. Hopefully being informed and knowledgeable about what you are about to have done will put your mind at ease - even if only slightly. It's on Tuesday right? 

Treasured - 9DPO is sooo early! Have fun at Batman - I'm looking forward to seeing it next week. Hope it's good!!

Haribo - Hi!! Nothing new on my end. Just in the TWW which is actually going by fairly quickly this time around. 

Lady - Welcome! Sounds like you have been going through a lot too and you're right. TTC is absolutely overwhelming especially when you feel like your body won't listen to you and get things right. There are so many IVF success stories and I hope we'll be hearing yours soon. I hope it goes smoothly for you!

Pino - Woahh! Your temp is super high. Are you having any O symptoms? Is it possible to be O'ing right now - like a fluke or something? 

Nothing new here! Family is coming over tomorrow to sleepover then we are heading to the beach bright and early Sunday morning so we can hit traffic. It's a 7 hour drive, but we'll have 2 dogs and a 4 year old so I'm hoping we can pull this off! I'll try to sign on as often as I can - so much going on, I don't want to miss out on anyone's news.


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## lauren26

Hi Sleepy, yes it is on Tuesday. The nurses did help, though they of course confirmed that dying is always a risk. I know that it's sooo unlikely but right at this moment I am really freaked about it. Also that horrible shooting happened in Aurora, CO last night and it has me kind of wound up. I am sure everything will be fine, I think that going to the hospital and talking to people made it real and made me realize that these people are doing crazy and potentially dangerous things to my body! I have never had surgery aside from wisdom teeth, so this is all new and pretty scary for me.


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## SleepyOwl

Totally understandable!! Plus that terrible shooting - probably has your mind spinning. I hope you are able to get some rest this weekend, maybe some yoga, breathing exercises or meditation? Not sure what would work at putting your mind at ease, but I suppose anything is worth a try. Sometimes it's so hard to calm our minds when we are doing something to unfamiliar. I hope you're able to find some peace before your head into your lap. I'll definitely be praying for you and sending lots of positive thoughts your way. :hugs:


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## treasured

lauren- sooo crazy that your lap is moving so quickly!! but id take it as a really good thing :) you will finally hopefully know what is preventing your bfp and then they can fix it! Ive had two major bowel surgeries but each time I was really ill, it must be strange going to talk about an operation that you have to get without even being sick, but it will be worth it :). how long do you have to stay in hospital for or is it a day procedure? you will do just fine! how long has it been now since you began ttc? sorry for all the questions, just trying to work out how long I should wait before trying tests. although on the NHS here im pretty sure you have to be over 23 in order to qualify for some treatments such as IVF. :(.

sashimi- sorry about your news but its also great that you are no longer stuck in a rut about where to go from here... IVF is a big step! I dont know much about it tbh, have you always had a low reserve or is that somthing which can happen over time? do you think you will wait until september? its so unfair that it has come to this stage for you :( It angers me so much that some 16 year old idiots that dont deserve to be parents get it so easily where as people like you that want nothing more have to go through so much trouble to get there! and so much money too, its not cheap TTCing... Ive spent more money on OPKS and HPTS than I have on clothes recently haha! 

pino- are you still using your fertility monitor? what is that saying about O? what day do you usually O? 

lxb- im so glad the bleeding and cramps are easing off and you can begin to start fresh :) I think you and DH should totally spoil yourselves! did the doctor say you have to wait a few cycles or anything before restarting TTC? hope your okay :)

sleepy- i know its early! not getting too bothered about it anyway, its so annoying that HPTs dont work sooner :(, good to have family over you get to keep busy and take your mind off any TTC worries!

no news from me really, no AF yet and on 10dpo wooo! still sore boobs but thats it really, although i think ive caught my mums sore throat :( sucks being sick!!


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## Pino6161

Ok so time for me to properly catch up :hugs: 


Counrtygirl--- Have LOADS of fun camping!! I am so jealous :haha:


Lxb--- I think everyone is a bit naïve about TTC at the beginning. Hell I expected to get it w/in the first couple of months :shrug:. I see It as even though we all have been trying so long, and have had losses, we will cherish our bundle of joy 1000 times more than everyone else&#8230; Have you decided if you want to cut your hair?? I have been trying to grow mine out. I vowed I would never go short again. Mostly because It was really short until I was a Sophmore in highschool. My dad made me keep it short cause instead of biting nails as a habit I would chew on my hair. :haha:


Sleepy&#8212;I laughed at your &#8220;I hope I get pregnant this month&#8221; The irony of it. Maybe if we go through a month saying we don&#8217;t want to get pregnant&#8230; Use reverse psychology on our bodies :haha:


Haribo--- When is you fertility apt??


Ladyf--- :hi: I wasn&#8217;t here with you at the beginning, but I hope everything works out :hugs: Keep us updated on the steps. :hugs:


SashimiMimi--- Don&#8217;t be worried about being a light weight when it comes to drinking. The people that aren&#8217;t is because they drink on a regular basis. I am a horrible light weight. I can&#8217;t do to sleep drunk. If it is not out of my system before I lay down, I will throw up cause of the spinning :haha: Also EVERYONE on my facebook seems to have kids. Most got prego right after high school. I know this one person who had a baby 3 years ago, and just gave birth to twins unassisted. She is the same age as me and already has 3 kids&#8230;WTF?? :shrug:&#8230; I&#8217;m really sorry you didn&#8217;t hear what you wanted form the Dr. At least you got answers, and you know your next step, even if you really didn&#8217;t think it would come to this. Sometimes knowing that people you see everyday go through the same struggles does help. You are not alone in your journey unless you choose to be. :hugs:


Treasured---I don&#8217;t tell anyone I am TTC either because I know I would get A LOT of grief over my age. Everyone I know either already has kids (by accident) Or at the clubs every night. We are just a bit mature compared, and want our family sooner and planned&#8230;. Dying my hair was a drastic change, but I love it!... Did you decide to do the play?? It sounds like fun, and distracting from our obsessive tendencies :haha:&#8230; You sound like me&#8230; A POAS addict :haha: How was the movie??


Sleepy--- I really liked the books. They are a bit repetitive, but they def. got me on the mood ALL the time. It turned OH on knowing I was reading it. It also brought a bit of spice into the bedroom :haha: 


Lauren--- Sorry AF got you!! As for the pos. Do you think it was a chemical It is extremely rare to get a false positive, especially more than one. Your LAP is so soon!! I wouldn&#8217;t worry about the risk of dieing. It is a VERY rare risk. Think about it this way. There are A LOT of women that go through what we do, even if it doesn&#8217;t feel like it. The Dr&#8217;s probably do this surgery often, and they know what they are doing. That being said. You have to let us know right as you are going in, and then after you wake up. I know that I for one will worry, and have everything crossed at the same time :hugs:


I hope I got everyone!!


So my temp went down a bit again today, and I am ok with that. Last month I also had my temp go above the coverline CD15. Last month I ovulated CD20, so we will wait and see. I am still using the monitor, and it is low fertility. Seriously either I am broken, or that monitor was a complete waste of money. :shrug: I am feeling ok today. It rained yesterday, but of course in this AZ heat it dried up pretty quickly, so OH didn&#8217;t get the day off. :cry: Nephew has been driving me bonkers. MIL and SIL have a tendancy to send him over here in the afternoon&#8230;. So I guess the baby doesn&#8217;t sleep very well at night and SIL complains about it ALL the time!!! But it is HER fault. SIL sleeps ALL day. It doesn&#8217;t matter if the baby is awake or not, so she doesn&#8217;t sleep at night, and the baby wants to stay awake with her. She is one of the most LAZY people I know!! Sorry had to vent :haha:


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## lauren26

Wow, a lot of our OHs sound like they can't catch a break!! What does yours do Pino?? I remember you saying doesn't get days off. The lap is at 2 on Tuesday! Thank you for saying you will think of me! I am scared and that helps. They expect it to e 2.5-3 hours log at least! They are doing lap, draining cysts, hysteroscopy, an maybe a D&C! Wowzer. Hope they give me good pain meds. Anyway, you're right, my doc does this every Tuesday and I don't think shes lost a patient yet!


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## Pino6161

Lauren-- My OH works on a ranch out here. Right now they are cutting hay, and planting cotton.... Of course I will be thinking of you!! Remember, the longer it takes the more thorough they are being.Tell them you don't mind them overdoing the drugs at first :haha:


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## treasured

ughhh I just wrote a longggg post and my computer screwed up and deleted it! no way im re writing it! 

so AF got me :( so angry this month we did every thing right! im starting to really worry...

pino- i totally understand about the grief for being young thing, who is anyone to tell us what we should do with our lives? I decided not to take the play and Im kinda glad cause ive come down with really bad flu so I wouldnt have been up to it anyway, would have been a good expereince though! 

i had a chat with OH about the fact that the NHS wont even consider people under 23 for certain procedures such as IVF, which means if we cant conceive naturrally it will be atleast another year and ahalf before we can even try. his response was 'oh well, we will just have to keep trying' ARGGGG! i hate his laid back approach while im dying every month! 

I wanna just curl up into a ball today but my family are coming round for dinner and Im cooking so I wont be able to :( I want to just get away by myself for a while and scream where noone can hear me haha! god im so sorry for myself today! apologies :) :hugs:


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## treasured

i also bought a basal body thermometer so I will start temping, although probably best to wait till my flu goes away!


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## lauren26

treasured - I really think that temping will help!! If nothing else, having a chart with symptoms and AF signs and spotting and all of that will show you your pattern over time so that if you do go in for testing and help you'll be able to tell the doc what you've already found. I'm sorry AF got you :( Also, I can't believe there's an age minimum for IVF!! Although I imagine that until you get further testing you won't need to consider it. You may not need it at all--you could have something very simple going on that can be corrected with a med or simple procedure. Take time for yourself before your dinner tonight!


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- I know what you mean. Just because we are more mature than most people our age should not mean that we shouldn't be able to reach our dreams. As for IVF I agree we should be able to do it if or when we are ready!! I turn 22 next month, so we are close in age!! Sorry AF and the flu got you, that it not good timing at all!! The temping should help you pin point ovulation better, it does for me. I always thought I ovulated a lot sooner than I actually do, and OPK's never gave me a full positive, probably cause I was using them waaayy to early. You are allowed to be sorry for yourself, we all know I have a full blown pity party every month for about half the month :haha:. Hopefully having dinner with your family will cheer you up a bit, unless they are my family of course :haha:

So my temp spiked high today, and late yesterday and today I am having pains in my right ovary, so hopefully I am timing this all right!! My OH has the entire day off today so we will be having as much :sex: as possible, as he would say, hopefully he does not break :haha: I got to love him!!

We are just staying in today and spending some quality time together 

On a side note, does any one else not get EWCM?? I mean if I do I don't notice, as I don't want my finger up me all day :haha: But I do have watery cum. Is this normal??


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> Treasured--- I know what you mean. Just because we are more mature than most people our age should not mean that we shouldn't be able to reach our dreams. As for IVF I agree we should be able to do it if or when we are ready!! I turn 22 next month, so we are close in age!! Sorry AF and the flu got you, that it not good timing at all!! The temping should help you pin point ovulation better, it does for me. I always thought I ovulated a lot sooner than I actually do, and OPK's never gave me a full positive, probably cause I was using them waaayy to early. You are allowed to be sorry for yourself, we all know I have a full blown pity party every month for about half the month :haha:. Hopefully having dinner with your family will cheer you up a bit, unless they are my family of course :haha:
> 
> So my temp spiked high today, and late yesterday and today I am having pains in my right ovary, so hopefully I am timing this all right!! My OH has the entire day off today so we will be having as much :sex: as possible, as he would say, hopefully he does not break :haha: I got to love him!!
> 
> We are just staying in today and spending some quality time together
> 
> On a side note, does any one else not get EWCM?? I mean if I do I don't notice, as I don't want my finger up me all day :haha: But I do have watery cum. Is this normal??

I never noticed any EWCM in my case, but I only had 1 month of tracking it so...


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## lxb

treasured - So sorry af got you this month. Doing all that we can is all that we can do! I think your little bean is just playing a little hide and seek with ya~ August will be a beautiful month for bfp! And BBT definitely helps! It can keep you sane (kinda)... haha... it might at times make you obsess about your chart! :haha: I'm all for BBT as it helps me know my cycle :thumbup:

lauren - :hugs: hope you're able to find ways to calm your mind! DH & I went to watch the Batman last night... and by the end of it.. I kept thinking about the shooting!! :wacko: I hope that all goes well and I know it will. And all these will just be another step closer to your bfp :)

pino - :haha: chewing on your hair! I've had short hair for a few years (really short.. like a boy's hair!). The thing I don't like about that is I would have to wash my hair every morning as it will look all funny when I wake up :shy: and also the "process" of growing it long again where you have to trim every so often. I had the urge to cut it over the weekend but was too busy! Now I love my hair again :haha:

afm, I started to drink grapefruit juice again few days ago (as it helped with ewcm). The very first day I drank it... I didn't mind it at all and thought it tasted pretty good. BUT, I think it's because my body is still not back to normal yet as it made me shrivel every time I drank it before my bfp. When I drank it last night, it made me shrivel again (So that's a good sign).


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## Pino6161

lxb--- I can't stand grape fruit juice!! ewww :haha: I am a very picky eater and drinker, so I have trouble finding things that I like that help w/ EWCM :shrug:

On another note, I had a really good day yesterday with my OH :sex: galore :haha:. My chart is really confusing me, but my monitor is still high fertility. I am trying not to worry about it to much, but as always I worry I am not going to ovulate :blush:

So something that made my day yesterday-- Me and OH were at our MIL's and my niece wanted to go outside. Well OH picked her up and took her outside where she started to scream, so he gave her to me, and she quieted right down!! :haha: It made me feel so special, and technically she is HIS niece :haha: only mine by marriage. Ohhhh it made my day!!

So how is everyone else??


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## lxb

pino - I dont like grapefruit and certainly don't like grapefruit juice! But it helps with ewcm (i think)~ I just chuck down a glass a day before dinner time (all in one breath!) and do a little shrivel at the end. Then, continue on with my dinner~~ :shy:


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## lauren26

Mmmmm I love grapefruits. I have never had grapefruit juice. But I could eat a whole grapefruit in one sitting! Nice work on BDing, Pino. I had a similar experience with my nieces being really excited to see me the other day and not at all concerned about where their uncle was. Lxb, so glad that you've got the shrivels back! LOL!!! Lame that you have to spot for so long, but I'm sure it's good and takes time. Makes me realize how quickly our bodies build a nest for the little egg! I think I had a chemical this month and my AF was heavier and will be longer I think and there were only probably 3 or 4 days after implantation for it to build up! Anyway, way to get back on the horse and drink some juice!!

Afm, feeling nervous still but mostly optimistic. I don't think I'll be free of nerves before the surgery happens, but in 24 hours time it will be over and I'll be drunk on pain meds! I guess that's the good part. Well, I don't know about the meds, not my fave, but the part about it being over soon is good. I talked to two anesthesiologists at the hospital and they were both buoyant, jolly-sounding ladies. The OR room is in the gynecological surgery dept which is really small and the ladies told me that everyone in that department is super nice and light hearted and jolly, lol. They said that everyone in the room treats you as if you're awake--being very, very gentle and respecting your privacy and modesty. And everyone says that you go under and it feels like seconds and you're awake! Still nervous but at least this will be done for good!


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## SleepyOwl

Pino - Yay for all that BDing!! 

Lxb - Happy to hear your tastebuds are returning back to their normal state. I looove grapefruit juice. So tart and tasty!! I haven't tried using it for TTC purposes although I probably will start soon. It helps increase CM right?

Lauren - Good luck with the lap tomorrow. I hope Everything goes smoothly and that your mind will be at ease. I'll be thinking about you!!

AFM, the beach is great. Love how simple life is at the beach. I could live here forever! No sign of AF but I'm only 10dpo. Totally feel like she's coming though. I hope I'm wrong!!


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## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> Mmmmm I love grapefruits. I have never had grapefruit juice. But I could eat a whole grapefruit in one sitting! Nice work on BDing, Pino. I had a similar experience with my nieces being really excited to see me the other day and not at all concerned about where their uncle was. Lxb, so glad that you've got the shrivels back! LOL!!! Lame that you have to spot for so long, but I'm sure it's good and takes time. Makes me realize how quickly our bodies build a nest for the little egg! I think I had a chemical this month and my AF was heavier and will be longer I think and there were only probably 3 or 4 days after implantation for it to build up! Anyway, way to get back on the horse and drink some juice!!
> 
> Afm, feeling nervous still but mostly optimistic. I don't think I'll be free of nerves before the surgery happens, but in 24 hours time it will be over and I'll be drunk on pain meds! I guess that's the good part. Well, I don't know about the meds, not my fave, but the part about it being over soon is good. I talked to two anesthesiologists at the hospital and they were both buoyant, jolly-sounding ladies. The OR room is in the gynecological surgery dept which is really small and the ladies told me that everyone in that department is super nice and light hearted and jolly, lol. They said that everyone in the room treats you as if you're awake--being very, very gentle and respecting your privacy and modesty. And everyone says that you go under and it feels like seconds and you're awake! Still nervous but at least this will be done for good!

As one who has "gone under" over 10 times, I can vouch for that.
As soon as you fall asleep, you´re waking up again.


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## lauren26

Why have you been under so many times??


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## lxb

lauren - thinking of you today. :hugs:

sleepy - now I really need to push DH instead planning our beach trip~~ :shy: I hope you're wrong too! (How often do we say that in a non-ttc world :haha:) And yep, grapefruit/grapefruit juice helps ewcm.

preg - 10 times?? 

afm, STILL have spotting as of last night! been spotting for 6 days now?! Waiting to see if it will stop today :wacko: POAS last night and got +OPK. I guess it detected my hcg level and it's not back down yet because I don't think I can O while spotting :shrug:

u/s & dr. appt today... let's see how it goes!

how are you ladies?


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## lauren26

lxb, I think that you can totally O while spotting!! Are you guys going to wait until next cycle to try?


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## countrygirl86

Hi Everyone! I've missed you all! 

Lauren - Wow, things have really gone quickly for you since I'd last been on. I agree that it's nice sometimes to have that quick decision to do something like this so you don't have time to fret and stress about it. I'm eagerly awaiting the word that you are awake and ok. It sounds like a great environment to have a procedure like this. Let us know how you are as soon as you can!

Sleepy - Isn't the beach awesome?! It's just so peaceful and serene. Your chart looks great recently, hoping this IS your month! Do you have a dog or were they someone else's?

lxb - I'm not a picky eater but grapefruit and brussel sprouts are where I draw the line! You continue to show us your strength, you will be a great mama for your kids! I'm glad to see your cycle is moving along, your sticky bean isn't far away now :hugs: 

Pino - it's such a nice feeling to be wanted by our nieces and nephews isn't it?! You are special so you should enjoy it. Glad you've put that book to good use! Have you read the whole series? Quality time with your DH must have been lovely!

treasured - I'm so glad you are going to start charting! It's amazing how much power I felt I had by simply understanding my body better. I've also had that happen where I'd written a super long post and it just disappeared, I wanted to cry! 

Haribo - what's new with you?

ladyf - welcome back! Hoping the process that brings you to your baby is short. 

Sashimi - We are having this crazy heat wave thing too. It was nice last week while I was off but DH has to work outside in the heat and I feel terrible for the farmers. I'm glad you got answers at your appointment, sounds like they should have booked that before anything else anyway. Way to take things in your own hands! You must have felt a million times better after talking to the HR lady too. It's funny that we don't realize how many people are affected by infertility but when you start talking about it they seem to come out of the woodwork. When would you be able to start IVF? I've read about low ovarian reserve, it's not optimal but isn't the worst case either. IVF is scary but amazing really.

lol @ the door slamming! I only have a little cubicle type thing but I can slam car doors lol. My holiday was great and so relaxing, I should have taken an extra day off when I got home to get laundry done :dohh: We've told everyone we are going to tell face-to-face, just have to send out an email to my extended family announcing the news. Had the 12 week scan yesterday and all is well. They put me a little ahead of where I was. I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow then nothing for a month I think. Hard to believe summer is almost half over!


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## Pino6161

Lxb--- Next cycle I might try grapefruit juice. The thought kinda grosses me out though :haha:

Lauren--- Sorry about the chemical :hugs: but at least you know you are one step closer to your surgery, and your BFP!! I am so happy your branch at the hospital has such a good reputation. I think you are in good hands. You are in my prayers and thoughts all day today!! Please let us know when you have sobered a bit, so we know you came through with flying colors :hugs:

Preg_pilot--- 10 times!! ??

Lxb--- I do think you can O while spotting. :shrug: Let us know what your Dr. says. :hugs:

Countrygirl86--- Yes I have read the whole series, twice. This is my third time!! :haha: Did you get any pics from your scan?? 

So I am feeling pretty good today. I didn&#8217;t sleep very well. Had some weird dreams again the last 2 nights? :shrug: I slept in but I woke up quite a few times last night, so I was making up for it a bit I guess :haha: Still no peak on my monitor, and temp is down again. IDK what is going on with my temps. The temp in my house is the same as always, so IDK. Last cycle I O&#8217;d on day 20, and that is tomorrow. Also I was looking at my chart, and I have a 12 day LP. It seems like it has gotten shorter as my cycles usually ranged around 35-37 days, but the last 2 cycles I have been down to 33 days and shortened my LP. I don&#8217;t know what is going on?? Any suggestions??


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## lxb

*update from me:*
I thought all was okay as bleeding/spotting is stopping. But I still have "retaining product" according to the u/s... :cry: my hands are shaking right now because they asked me to go round 2 on the medication tomorrow and schedule u/s and appointment next week.


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## Pino6161

lxb--- I am SO sorry :hugs:. Don't be to down on yourself, it is common. Look at it this way, at least they offered you a second round of the meds and you don't have to do a D&C. I really am sorry we all thought all this pain and suffering was done for you. :cry: My heart goes out to you and your husband!! I am sorry hunny!! :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Oh, Lxb!!! I'm so sorry that this horrible ordeal isn't over just yet. You've been so positive and doing so well, it just isn't fair! You've been through the medication once already, so you know you can do it. Yes, it was unpleasant but I'm positive it won't be so bad this time. You're so brave, this WILL be over soon! Just know that once you do this second round of meds, it's just one step closer to your BFP. If there is any silver lining here, you KNOW you can get pregnant. For some reason, that little bean just wasn't ready to come just now, but I know that baby is going to come soon. You will be such an amazing mom with your positivity, wit and sense of humor! 

I'm not sure why some of us get dealt such a tough hand with TTC, but I believe all these measures just get us closer to our ultimate goal. While I won't pretend that I can relate to what you are going through, I can relate to the unexpected happening every time you visit the doctor. I keep thinking that I know what the next steps will be and then BAM!!! I have a low ovarian reserve. We just have to keep our chin ups, we will get there and we will just keep holding each other's (virtual) hand along the way.

My SIL had a TTC group online like we do when she went through infertility. Every single person in that group got their baby in the end, some just took longer than others.


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## lxb

Thank you so much for the kind words pino and sashimi. Like you said, sashimi, unexpected things happened each time from the dr's visit. I was caught offguard. I am sooo grateful I have you ladies and we certainly will hold each others (virtual) hands through this journey. And hopefully build a long lasting friendship :hugs:

Each day IS a day closer to our BFPs :thumbup: and we shall be each others' supports through these ups and downs.

I needed to take tomorrow off for the medication. I didn't want to just keep asking my boss for "sick day" so I have decided to build up the courage and told him the truth. Took me ~40 min (I think I was worried that he will leave work before I was ready) and finally asked to speak to him. Once we sat down, I started to tear up before I could speak!!! (I am so weak!!) and he looked sooooo concern! haha: now that i thought about it) then, I told him I needed to take tomorrow off and the reason being I had a miscarriage and need the time off for some procedure). He said he's soo sorry to hear that and that I should take as much time as I need. Also, him and his wife has gone through it too. So.. PHEW!! A huggeee weight has been lifted off my chest!

Just took the medication...prescribed dosage is higher this time. Thank goodness I have some pain killer left by my side!


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## SashimiMimi

Isn't it a relief to come forward to your work about the truth, Lxb? I was so scared when I told my work and I never DREAMED my HR person would be going through the same thing. As I mentioned, she had two miscarriages and I think one of them happened while sitting at her desk back in June. Not only was HR supportive, BUT as I mentioned there is a small infertility club at my work. I think I said in one of my last posts how a guy's wife had 5 MCs, but now she is 8 months PG!! 

While I'm not ready for everyone to know the truth about IVF, I am happy to have work supporting me when I need days off. I'm sure it was reassuring to know your boss had gone through the same thing. No one should have to go through that, but at least he understands.

Once again, I have to say how thankful I am for this group. I'm TERRIFIED to start IVF, I can feel that dang AF on her way so I have to make a decision if I am going to do it now or wait a cycle. I really don't think I could get through all of this, the fear, the uncertainty, the invasive medical procedures without all of you. 

Maybe you should take Thursday and Friday off Lxb! Just take good care of yourself, watch good movies and eat lots of take out!!


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## lauren26

All done ladies. Was a long procedure and doc said my endo was
Worse than she thought, yet she got all of it out!! That is great news for me and she seems to think weve got a chance to be pg naturally and wants us to try for six months! I am so grateful this is over. Wasn't hearing the miracle news id hoped for but the news she gave me was encouraging so I'll take it!! She Said my tubes are beautiful which was nice and weird. More later so sleepy. Thanks agin for everyone's amazing support! Couldn't have done this without you


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## lxb

Sashimi - yes! It was definitely a relief telling my boss. I think part of the reason I was nervous about telling him is because he is a male! As for IVF, do whatever you feel is right. At times I just feel like we just need to bite the bullet in order to move forward. Looking back, I am glad I took the medication (even though I took the wrong one on the first attempt!! :dohh:) but at least what I am doing now is for a better tomorrow (I think) 

Lauren - :thumbup: for beautiful tubes! sooo glad it went well! Next up shall be your bfp!!


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- I am so glag she got it all out :dance: Next step BFP

LXB--- I agree with Sash, you should take a couple days off just to wrap your head around everything!! I am glad your boss understood!! :hugs:


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## preg_pilot

lauren, lxb, pino: Yep. 10 times. In the last 15 years no less.
First time was when I was 15 to have my tonsils removed, and then starting from 19, I´ve had 10 knee surgeries (one of them was actually awake... won´t be doing that again).
The tonsil surgery was fine, didn´t really have any side effects from the medication, but threw up from the wound in my neck for 2 solid days... if your kid needs this, do it as young as possible is my advice.
The first 5 or 6 knee surgeries, I didn´t like. There was something about the meds I couldn´t stand. I would feel like I was choking when I was going under, and woke up crying each time. Took several hours each time to recover enough to get up and go home.
I think it was during the 6th that I requested to stay awake... was quite funny actually, (I was on "careless" drugs during the surgery) but after an hour of poking around, the meds started to fade, and I felt quite uncomfortable... def don´t want to try that again.
For the last 3-4 times, it has been complete bliss. They discontinued the old meds, and started on something new, and now I just fall asleep and wake up refreshed, feeling ready to jump and run up mountains (except for the crutches of course).
So, about 3-4 years ago, they got new sleeping meds, and now this is a whole new experience for me.
It´s not likely I´ll be having many more of these though, as my knee has reached its limits. (unless I hurt my other knee... knock on wood that doesn´t happen).




lxb said:


> *update from me:*
> I thought all was okay as bleeding/spotting is stopping. But I still have "retaining product" according to the u/s... :cry: my hands are shaking right now because they asked me to go round 2 on the medication tomorrow and schedule u/s and appointment next week.

I´m so sorry you´re going through this... :hugs:



lauren26 said:


> All done ladies. Was a long procedure and doc said my endo was
> Worse than she thought, yet she got all of it out!! That is great news for me and she seems to think weve got a chance to be pg naturally and wants us to try for six months! I am so grateful this is over. Wasn't hearing the miracle news id hoped for but the news she gave me was encouraging so I'll take it!! She Said my tubes are beautiful which was nice and weird. More later so sleepy. Thanks agin for everyone's amazing support! Couldn't have done this without you

Fingers crossed for ya. Happy that your surgery is over.


Little update from me:
Feel like crap today. Had the stomach flu in the night, didn´t sleep at all, and had to call in sick.
Hope it´s one of those 24 hours things, as it would not be good to have to call in sick again tomorrow, as I´m supposed to go on a 4 day tour...


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## treasured

lxb- i cant believe theres another hurdle for you to cross :( why cant this just be over for you so you can move on huh? Im so glad that you are taking this so well because I guess it is the only way for you and OH to carry on! wish we could all just pop round for a big group hug right now!! :hugs:

lauren- omggggggg im so proud of you! this is amazing that its happened so quickly, and I think that is a really good outcome. obviously it would be amazing if it was 100% that you could conceive naturally, but I have faith that this was this obstacle in your way!! will this help with your progesterone issues or is that completely different? hope your back to your self soon :D :hugs: 

pino- I am SO confused by luteal phases.... what did yours used to be? 14? I know most places say that LP stays the same but im pretty sure mine has changed quite a lot, unless my OPKS were wrong. cause I had a 11 day, then 10 day, then 13 day, then 10 again... wtf? Im pretty sure 12 is fine though so I wouldnt worry to much, was this not the cycle that you wrent sure about O? maybe you did earlier? ALSO i dont understand how your LP works if you dont O at all? 

sooo! my BBT thermometer arrived today wooo! had to get outa bed to get it from the postman so I will start temping tomorrow but im kinda confused by it... will need to read up on the instructions. I can now identify with the VERY loud beeps that you ladies were talking about a while ago haha! hope you all can tell me if my chart is right! the only this is FF is in farenheit I think and my thermom is C :S


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## lauren26

lxb, I am so sorry you have to go through this for so long!!! Sashimi is right, though, you are so positive and funny. You will get through this and be an amazing mom!! I wish we could all have a huh right now, too!

Sashimi, I would be terrified too, though I have totally faith that the prep an procedures will be well worth it!! 

Treasured - the progesterone issue is nonexistent, I think. Doctor saw an abnormality own my uterus on the HSG which turned out to be a small polyp when she got in there. She took it out, of course! 

Afm, so glad my surgeries are over and feeling VERY uncomfortable and squeamish today!! It is so crazy that I forgt things--they have me something for anxiety in my drip and it must have knocked me out because I just remember waking up in a different place, apparently after asking 20 times what they'd found! Anyway, glad its done and hope no one else needs to do this ever! But the worst part was probably waiting for it to happen because they were delayed, and getting my IV which thy could thread and was soooooo painful.

Thanks for your thoughts, ladies!! Looks like they helped :)


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## Pino6161

preg_pilot--- I was recommended to get knee surgery about 4 years ago. I decided that until I am in constant pain, I will leave it as it is :shrug: Sorry your not feeling well!! :hugs: hopefully the bun in the oven will ease up on you!! :hugs:

treasured--- If you don't O you don't have an LP. I do know that if it is to short, you have a higher risk of a chemical. Your lp is the time that is given for the egg to implant comfortably, if it is to short the egg can't implant. My LP used to be 14 days. Gosh TTC is so confusing!! By the way, you can change your FF into celsius. Temping is pretty simple.Just take it at the same time right after you wake up without moving around to much. You can take it by mouth, anus, or vaginally. I take it vaginally as I sleep with my mouth wide open :blush: So I usually don't take it while on my period. My chart looks really bonkers cause lately I have been a restless sleeper, and having some really weird dreams!! :shrug:

Lauren--- :hugs: you get lots and lots of rest, and try to relax!! Are you guys going to start trying this cycle?? Or did the lap mess the cycle up??


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## Pino6161

Oh so seriously I had the weirdest dream today!! I don't even want to explain it it was so horrible!! Seriously what is up with me?? It's so frustrating not getting a good nights sleep, and it's messing my chart all up. Me and OH are ready for this cycle to be over and clear that I have ovulated. All this sex is wearing us out! :haha: Maybe that's why I'm having weird dreams.....My CBFM was still high fertility today, and only a slight change in temp today, so I guess we will see :shrug:

I hope everyone is having a good day :hugs:


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## countrygirl86

lxb - I'm so sorry you have to go through another round of meds. Hopefully this round will be easier to take and be the true end finally. I agree with the other ladies that you should take a bit of extra time if you'd like it. It's great to hear your boss took it so well and could relate to your situation! How are you feeling today?

Sashimi - you do have a big decision ahead of you but you've proven to make the right decisions for yourself so I have faith you'll come to the right one. We are here to help you weigh the options too. So they are prepared to start IVF right away, like next cycle? I have full faith that everyone on this thread will get their BFP too!

lauren - I'm so glad you are doing well and they gave you what sounds like great news to me :hugs: Did they do anything about the cysts? I'm also wondering about when you can start trying again?

treasured - there is a way you can change FF to celsius, I think there's settings or something somewhere. I'm excited for you to start charting :)

Pino - I have a scan pic from my appt Monday I'll post in my journal :)


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## SashimiMimi

Lauren I'm glad the surgery is done and over with and they cleared the endo! It's amazing that they have given you the green light to TTC naturally! 

Country, I'm glad you're feeling good and that everything is going well! As far as I know, I can pretty much start IVF next cycle if I want. I can feel AF starting, I was hoping it would hold off till Friday, so Sunday would be day 3 of my cycle, which is the day I have to start cycle monitoring. Well, it wouldn't be TTC is my body could cooperate with my schedule.

Basically, IVF works like this: The entire process takes 6 weeks. The first 2 weeks you are in the pill to shut your system down, second 2 weeks you are taking loads of injections to start stimulating your ovaries to produce lots and lots of eggs. The pill in the beginning causes your body to respond to the fertility drugs better. So you are doing 4 weeks of prepping and then you do the retrieval. They sedate you and then go in with an extremely long needle and extract the eggs. 3 to 5 days later you go back and they do the transfer. In rare cases, they don't get any eggs, or no eggs actually fertilize. We are hoping that they get enough eggs and that enough of them fertilize so that they can freeze the leftovers and we can go back and do a FET (frozen egg transfer) should our fresh cycle IVF fail. Also our doctor believe that IVF is the only way we will be able to conceive for life. There is little to no chance of me conceiving naturally and I also am running out of time with the low ovarian reserve. I believe with my thyroid problem, my hostile CM, my low ovarian reserve and the slight issue with OH's fertility quality is the reason that we have not had a BFP. Our doctor believes the sperm is surrounding the egg but not penetrating it. With IVF they will do an ICSI where they actually inject the sperm into the egg.

So country and other ladies of the board, I'm going to take you up on helping me weigh my options. I've listed my obstacles including time restraint above, so what would you do? I'm terrified, I'll admit it. But I don't see how taking more time to think about it will ever help me be okay with the outcome no matter what. But the only way I will 100% fail is not to try. The whole process is going to cost $11-15k. My MIL left an inheritance when she passed and OH just got a really nice bonus with his new job, so we can afford it. My work is cooperating with me working from home on certain days. It's like everything is lining up, so I don't see any reason in waiting.


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## lauren26

Just a quickie--in lots of discomfort and was hoping to be able to type a lot but it's hard. The cysts weren't just drained they were totally removed. They said my eggs are goog but quality and count may be affected by removing cysts. They almost took my left ovary because it was damaged, but left it in case it can still function. The right ovary is in pretty good shape. Anyway, no we can't try right away. I am not supposed to have anything in my hoo ha for a week--mostly because of the D&C I think. I COULT NOT have sex right now anyway! Thanks for asking you guys I will try to write mor later.


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## Pino6161

SashimiMimi--- In my opinion you chances are low w/out IVF right? You have failed IUI's and your hopes have been diminished greatly. I know I am pointing out the obvious, but I would go for it. Even with the time it takes, and the fact it is invasive w/in a short time you would be able to get your miracle. Honestly if I could afford it, I would jump on board just so I can get a bundle of joy. Try not to think about IVF itself, but about what will come out of it. :hugs:

Lauren---- I am sorry you are not feeling well! Tell them to up your meds!! One really good ovary is better than two that don't work very well. So are you guys going to go lax this cycle then? Feel better!! :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Hey all! Finally on a computer so I can respond!! 

Lauren - So glad the surgery went well!! How great they were able to remove the cysts and you will be able to try naturally. That is so crazy about your left ovary!! We really don't have any clue what's going on in there - it's nuts. I'm really glad that everything seems to have worked out and I hope you recover quickly and that the pain doesn't last for too long. 

Pino - Those whacky cycles and temps can be so frustrating. Hopefully you get a consistent rise soon so you can get a break from all that BD'ing!!

Sashimi - In my opinion, if you are feeling comfortable with the IVF procedures (or at least comfortable enough), I would go ahead and begin as soon as possible. At this point, like you said, waiting probably wouldn't do too much more. Like you said, things seem like they are lining up and it sounds like this is the right timing. If you and OH are emotionally/mentally prepared and feel like you have weighed the options objectively, then I say go for it. Now is as good a time as any. I hope IVF brings you a BFP quickly friend!!

Country - Can't believe you are 12 weeks! So happy that your scan went well :)

Treasured - Thank goodness for that thermometer!! When I started charting, I felt like it helped so much and I knew what was going on with my cycles as opposed to just guessing. Hopefully charting will give you insight as to when you O and your LP length!!

Haribo - How are you doing girl??

Lxb - I am so sorry you have to keep going through these things. I wish this process could just be over for you soon so you can move on and start trying again. Sending you lots of love friend.

AFM, my temp is still high, but I just went to the bathroom and wiped and there was a little spotting. Not much, but I just know AF is coming because of the spotting, cramps and the overall PMS symptoms. OH has to get his SA this month. He was supposed to get it months ago, but the timing with work didn't pan out. I have to get my thyroid checked because my doctor is concerned with this rapid weight gain I've had this year plus it runs in our family (my mom has a very underactive thyroid). Plus it took my sis so long to conceive, our doc is willing to run a few basic tests just to make sure it's not something small that we can fix quickly. Looks like it will be onto cycle 8 for me. 

Hopefully I didn't forget anyone!! I'll try to check in again soon!!


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## countrygirl86

Sashimi - If I were you, I would dive in. I know you've been trying over a year now and it does sound like things are lining up nicely for this cycle. Once you get your BFP it won't matter how long it has taken but in the meantime I know the wait is excruciating. It is a very intimidating process. I'd looked into the process thinking it would be our way of conceiving and while it is expensive and uncomfortable, it sounds like your only option and truthfully, I'd do it sooner than later. But if you do decide to wait one more cycle, it makes sense too. I know how much you want it but it's just around the corner either way :hugs:

lauren - glad you were able to check in! Glad they left the ovary. I'm sure your hoo haa needs that week to rest up, cause once it is it'll be very busy lol


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## lxb

Preg - hope you feel better soon and able to get some rest.

Treasured - yay for bbt!! And I also think you can change the preference on Ff to put in your temp in C. I'll be stalking your chart!!

Sleepy - temp still looks good. I think if 13dpo temp is still up, it'll be a great sign! Hopefully you'll get some answers from the tests.

Pino - I still can't bellevue of your bd streak! That's some serious business right there! :haha: fx for you Hun!

Lauren - yep! Get your hoo ha rest up ... Then it is time for some serious bd!!

Country - how r u feeling Hun! :wave: little plum!!

Sashimi - sometimes we just need to bite the bullet and go for it as the waiting game is not on our side. I think you already have decided and just wanted reassurance :) you are so strong! And we are always here for you to provide you mental support.

Haribo - how are you??

Afm, took all 12 pills since last night. I'm having cramps so far (but nothing as bad as the ones I've had when I passed the sac), no bleeding, and lots and lots of diarrhea! (sorry, tmi). Googled and I think it is one of the side effects? I guess we shall wait and see then huh.


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## haribo813

Hi everyone, sorry not to have been on here the past few days with so much going on for all you lovely girls-combination of applying for new jobs (application forms take an age!), working hard, going out every night, getting my AF and feeling down and my SIL having her baby-it was very overdue in the end!

Sashimi I agree with Country and the other girls-now seems as good a time as any and not having too long to think about it seemed to work pretty well for Lauren. I know it's a lot of information and it's quite daunting but it's also really exciting, I have all my fingers crossed for you.

Lauren, glad you're ok! Sounds like it was a huge success and they've done a great job of sorting you out and well done you for coping so well.

Lxb, you are a brave lady, well done for speaking to your boss, no easy feat and i bet you feel ten times better. I really hope you can put this behind you very soon and it's true, your body is ready to get pregnant which is great!

Treasured, good luck temping-the hardest thing i found was not jumping out of bed and remembering to take my temp first! I also keep a little book by my bed and write my temp in when half asleep. Just a thought, does anyone else find that before they have people round they have to a ttc spot check? Hide my thermometer, books, my pre-conception tablets, folic acid tablets kicking around, dr appointment letters... Honestly, i am acquiring paraphernalia!

Country, am so pleased your scan went so well, and great that you're a bit further ahead than you thought. I sympathise with the huge post hols wash to put on too!

Pregpilot and lady, hope you're both doing ok.

As for me, I'm ok. Was down on Monday about my AF (my ttc anniversary, lovely!) but wondering if fate is playing its part and trying to help me get a new, more challenging better paid job before i'm allowed to get pregnant. I have bought a new book by a chinese medicine doctor who's meant to be amazing. It's rather originally titled How to get Pregnant by Dr Zhai and OH very sweetly made an appt today for me to see her in Sept. It's a bit pricey though so we'll see, we can cancel in advance but exciting to have in diary. I have decided to cut out caffeine and alcohol completely for at least a month, she's basically meant to be miracle lady (google her!) so thought i'd give it a whirl. As for nhs fertility appt, there's basically been a muck up as my surgery booked me in for an appt in the wrong dept, so now i have to wait for a new appt date-all a bit painful but fingers crossed will work.

I love grapefruit juice but don't drink it! I better get some down me!
xxx


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## lxb

Haribo - yep! I had to hide and be ssneaky when I took my folic acid around people who dont know we're ttc. We had this trip with a friend of ours a while ago, we have meals together 3 times a day and I managed to sneak in my prenatal vitamin and fish oil without her noticing! :haha: :ninja: I cut out coffee completely too and I don't drink. Fx this works for you. I believe your perfect little bean is waiting for you when the time is right :hugs:


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## Pino6161

Sleepy--- I am LOVING your chart!! Im wondering if the spotting is from implantation? Oooohhh I hope so!! :hugs:

Lxb--- How are you feeling today?? Hopefully much better and this is all almost over!! :hugs:

Treasured---Make sure you put a link to your FF in your signature. I am looking forward to stalking it :haha: Yes I know that sounds creepy :haha:

Lauren--- I hope you are feeling a bit better today, and not as sore!! :hugs:

Country--- How is pregnancy treating you?? :hugs:

SashimiMimi--- I hope you were able to come to peace about IVF :hugs:

Haribo--- I am the SAME way when it comes to all the TTC stuff. For the most part it is only my nephew that comes over and I dont bother, but my in-laws like to drop by, and I always throw stuff into drawers when I hear a knock at the door :haha:. Also when I go out I have some of my fertility vitamins in a multi vitamin bottle, so they just think I am a health nut :haha: Good luck w/ caffeine cut. I did that as well, and it feels great now, but at the time I didnt like it ti much :haha: I also dont drink except for 1 day a month (when AF shows) and I will have a glass of wine. So when was your Dr. appointment rescheduled for??

So I slept a little better last night, and only woke up once. My thermometer is still high fertility (it has to be broken) but I think I Od 2 days ago IDK though. :shrug: my temp raised a bit again today, but I am wondering what FF will do cause I had a couple spikes above my coverline. I really have to clean my house but Im not really in the mood lately.

How is everyone else??


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## countrygirl86

lxb - that's a lot of pills! Are you off work today and tomorrow? I'm glad these ones aren't as bad but I just hope it's all over very soon for you. 

haribo - Sounds like you have a real sweetheart on your hands making dr appts for you :winkwink: I cut out caffeine in December and it was great because it wasn't a shock when I got my BFP. When is your new appointment for? I definitely hid all my vitamins and books and thermometer too! 

Pino - glad you slept better and are feeling better in general. We all have times we don't feel ourselves. That's the one time I found FF difficult, I never knew when it would consider me to have O'd. I guess we'll find out for you in the next couple of days. Did you have any EWCM?


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## lxb

country - it's the same pill i took last time. Last time it was one pill every 3 hours (total of 6 pills). This time, it is 3 pills every 6 hours (total 12 pills). So far I've had on and off cramps but NOTHING close to what I felt when I passed the gestational sac. I'm thinking it might take a while for it to kick in? I'm back to work now as I don't feel like staying home with MIL and I feel perfectly fine to work.

pino - glad you're feeling better. my last two temps are crazy! I think the drug has some effect on it?! (The first temp I took yesterday was 98.87!!! and 2nd time is 98.4! and today is 97.15?! :wacko:)


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## lauren26

Hey gals, quick check in to say I am still feeling rotten. In some ways I feel better and in some ways I don't. Every muscle in my body incredibly sore and I can't cough without it hurting, but the little incisions are looking a bit better and I'm going to attempt to eat today. Thanks for the thoughts :) I kind of can't believe that some women have to go through this procedure multiple times! Really took it out of me.


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## Pino6161

Country--- I usually don't notice if I get EWCM. So IDK I do know that on CD 19 before me and OH had sex we forplayed, and after he made me cum I had a whole lot of EWCM, I know that it technically doesn't count, but I figured since I don't notice it in everyday life if I orgasm I do have it so that when we have sex which should increase my chances right?? Sorry I know it's tmi :blush:

lxb--- Maybe the drugs do mess w/ your temp, but it could also be your body getting back to normal. I am glad it is not as painful, I just hope it is over for you soon!!

Lauren--- I am sorry that you are in so much pain :cry: Try to get a lot of rest so you can some back to us!! :hugs:


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## lauren26

PS Sashimi I say GO for it!! We are behind you and rooting for you. Glad you dont have to feel the egg extraction. The IV was the worst part of my procedure--it was so painful I cried, and I wanted to say, 'can't you just knock me out for this part, too??' anyway, it sounds like youre as ready as you can! We are here for you. 

Feel like I'm missing everything but I'll check in again when I'm feeling more normal.


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## countrygirl86

lxb - That is quite an increased dose! Are you able to run home if you need to? I don't blame you for wanting to be away from MIL. Does she know about everything or did you manage to keep it quiet from her? 

Lauren - Sorry you are feeling so run over! Hopefully you are able to eat something and keep it down so your body can speed up its recovery. I have faith you won't have to go through it again for your BFP :)

Pino - It's probably up there then! I know they say whatever you feel during sex doesn't count but it doesn't sound like you have a lack of lubrication lol It might help you pinpoint when you O if you do start checking CM.


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## Pino6161

Country--- I do check my cum, but I usually just get really wet cum around my O date. I never notice EWCM so IDK. I check a couple times a day, but don't ever see any :shrug:


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - So sorry you are feeling rotten. Sounds like it will take a bit longer to fully recover. In your words, be sweet to yourself! I hope you are feeling better soon!

Lxb- I hope this set of pills will do the trick for you. 

My boobs are totally deflated and not sore plus I've had more spotting. Pretty sure AF will be right on time on Sunday. Been feeling very jealous of pregnant women and women with more than one child. Usually I don't let it get to me but I've totally been a hater today :/


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> preg_pilot--- I was recommended to get knee surgery about 4 years ago. I decided that until I am in constant pain, I will leave it as it is :shrug: Sorry your not feeling well!! :hugs: hopefully the bun in the oven will ease up on you!! :hugs:
> 
> treasured--- If you don't O you don't have an LP. I do know that if it is to short, you have a higher risk of a chemical. Your lp is the time that is given for the egg to implant comfortably, if it is to short the egg can't implant. My LP used to be 14 days. Gosh TTC is so confusing!! By the way, you can change your FF into celsius. Temping is pretty simple.Just take it at the same time right after you wake up without moving around to much. You can take it by mouth, anus, or vaginally. I take it vaginally as I sleep with my mouth wide open :blush: So I usually don't take it while on my period. My chart looks really bonkers cause lately I have been a restless sleeper, and having some really weird dreams!! :shrug:
> 
> Lauren--- :hugs: you get lots and lots of rest, and try to relax!! Are you guys going to start trying this cycle?? Or did the lap mess the cycle up??

Feeling better again. queasy on and off, but at least I got rid of that stomach bug :) apparently it was a 24 hour thing.
I had no choice about those knee surgeries, 2 times I tore my sinews up so bad, I needed near immediate surgery. The other ones are just damage control on my cartilage. I don´t have a lot of choices any more though. There is almost no cartilage left, and my new doctor can´t understand why I don´t have a stiff leg, walking on crutches yet. I guess I'm just too stubborn for that. I push through the pain and walk, swim, cycle and weight lift to keep fit. If I ever stop though... (let´s not go there).
I feel pain every day, but I'll just have to deal with that, until they invent some new methods to help with implanting new cartilage.


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## lauren26

Sleepy - Totally natural--don't beat yourself up!! It's hard to feel generous about other ladies' bumps when you're feeling AF's approach! As always, I am still holding out for you this time!! Did you say that you guys are going in for testing? I am still on some drugs, so didn't remember if I read that or imagined it, lol. Anyway, if you are I hope you get some answers and a quick fix. But you're def. not out yet!! 

haribo - I'm so excited to hear about your appointment with the miracle worker!! Natural medicine can be crazy powerful and I feel really good about it for you. 

lxb - I'm so sorry you're having to take all those meds!! How was work today? I hope you got through it all right. 

country and lxb - LOL on how busy my hoo haa will be soon!! OH can't wait for my full recovery....;) Unfortunately for him it's TWO weeks without sex, not one. I'm sure he'll figure something out, lol. 

AFM, still out of it and uncomfortable, but the more I hear from my family about the before and after pics of my insides (which they ALL saw...), the more optimistic I get that we could really get pregnant within this six months that we're 'most fertile'. After I indulge in a crackers and soda only diet during recovery, I'm totally going to hit the ground running and be really clean with my diet and supplements and exercise. I do NOT want to go through this again, and I am getting that BFP, darnit!! Lol.


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## treasured

yayy lauren! best attitude to have :) you will be getting your BFP! I feel it in the winds of my ovaries..... umm that sounded better in my head. :D So glad you are relaxing though and feeling better gradually. I remember when I had my bowel surgery the amount of morphine I had stayed in my head for about a week and I just spent the whole time talking about baked potatoes and pigeons :S :hugs:

soooooooooo girls... can somone please help me cause im so confused already! I got a temp dip today (finished AF yesterday) is it normal? I thought that your temp diped before AF so I was confused to see sucha big dip after. Ive put a link into this post and I will try to put one into my signature later on :)

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/ttc/index.php


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## lauren26

Treasured, first of all LOLLLLL at the winds of your ovaries!!! I have to restrain my laughter do I don't bust a stitch. I think the link you posted to your chart is just te home page. There is a way to get the HTML code and put it in your signature....I bet lxb knows how!! I can't remember and still have drug brain. Anyway, my temp sometimes stays high during AF--dont worry about that. The second week of your cycle should show low temps and then a dip followed by spike for ovulation (ov is dip day). Charts don't always look textbook, though--you will probably need a few cycles to know what's normal for you but I'm sure thinks will start to get clearer soon.


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## lxb

Treasured... You have to go to the page and click on 'charting q&a' then on the upper right hand side you can see the 'share' button. Click that and it will link you to a new URL. Looks something like fertilityfriend.com/home/some number ...

You can put the link to your signature by putting the following...

My Chart
Then put thus --> [/ URL]
Without the spaces between the slash and url


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## treasured

Haha! Noooo dont be bursting anny. Stitches! How many do you have actually? I have 27 in my stomach all together haha! Im like a patchwork :D dont worry though my last surgery was in October and my scar is almost white already :) oops im clearly not technical enough! Yeahh maybe lxb will read and suggest the right way :) is 97.9 high? That's what it was yesterday and today it's 
97.5! Is that just the progesterone coming down late? X


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## treasured

Ohh lxb you got in there quick hehe I love you! I will put a link in when im home as its too hard while at work on my phone haha, thank you! X


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## lxb

haribo - did you manage to get some grapefruit juice on your shopping list? :)

lauren - hope you feel better soon hun~~ 2 more weeks 'til hoo ha is open for business! I'm sure ur OH will be xtra horny by end of 2 wks!! (speaking from xperience.. lol) :haha: :rofl: as for work.. it was certainly an unproductive day! I've been googling on the side effects of the medication and browsing BnB! :shy: But yea.. hope you're offf to a speedy recovery and next up shall be your BFP! :happydance:

country - yep. I was scared when I took them. I'm pretty close to home.. about 8 miles (takes about 10-15min to drive home) so I would be able to go home if i really needed to. MIL knows, DH asked if he could tell her and I said yes. Else she might think both of us are crazy going from happy-go-lucky from the trip to blue-moon and with my puffy eyes!! I didn't tell her about this 2nd round of medication though.. I just told her I'm not feeling well and decided to stay home.

sleepy - just saw your chart. hope you're doing okay. :hugs: I'm sooo envious of those bumps!! worst part of this is I kept having to get my blood drawn and u/s and appt... and all those places are just filled with bumps & babies! :dohh:

preg - so glad you're feeling better. heard queasiness should be easing off in 2nd tri. hope that's the case for you and can't wait to see ur bump pics!!!

pino - time for grapefruit juice?? :haha: it's not too bad for a glass a day.. just chuck it down and do a little shrivel~~ :dance:

treaured - yeah.. think lauren answered your questions. it's different for every women and it might take a few cycles to see your pattern. I often find myself stare at my chart... compared it to others... and sometimes just want it to be 'tomorrow' already just so i can see the temp!!! :haha:

afm, still NO bleeding. on and off minor cramp (I brought my pain killer to work just in case as today is friday ... the drug might kick in today? :shrug:) Just not feeling positive about the retaining products... as nothing is 'coming out' :dohh:


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## treasured

heyyy, I tried to find the link to my own one but when i click share it doesnt come up :( i wanna show you ladies lol!


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## lxb

treasured said:


> heyyy, I tried to find the link to my own one but when i click share it doesnt come up :( i wanna show you ladies lol!

Hmm.. that's strange. does it let you select the cycle?

You did --> "Charting Q&A" --> "Share"?


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## treasured

has this worked? https://www.fertilityfriend.com/ttc/homepage_module.php


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## Pino6161

No, you don't want to do it like that cause that is your home page. At the top of the page press sharing-->get code--> Get the simple url for bbCode Code......This is mine....


url=https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3ce78d]My Ovulation Chart[/url

url=<<------delete-- https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3ce78d--delete----->> ]My Ovulation Chart[/ur

delete the beginning and end part to customise
then try it

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3ce78d

You can also just copy and paste the entire thing and it would look like this--->

My Ovulation Chart


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## lxb

treasured said:


> has this worked? https://www.fertilityfriend.com/ttc/homepage_module.php

no. you don't see the 'share' button?


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## lxb

O yeah.. or like pino suggested..click on "sharing" on the upper tab... and click on "Get Code" under "Charting homepage"


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## Pino6161

lxb--- Not everyone has that button, I know my FF doesn't have it


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## Pino6161

But how do you get freeze frames like that?? That is awesome!! I want to :haha:


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## treasured

ahhhh i tried that way too pino! it just comes up with a box to enter a line about myself :S no code or anything! ahh im no use with these things haha! i'll keep trying :doh:


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## lxb

treasured - 

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/TechFaqs/Sharing-Your-Chart.html

I think if you click on the first link "create/customize your charting home", if you go to the very end, you can see the "Published Charts" and you can select which cycle/chart you want to share. And you can add your chart there.

pino - I used the printscreen key on the keyboard~~ :dance:


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## Pino6161

hmmm I press that button and nothing happens :blush:


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## lxb

Pino6161 said:


> hmmm I press that button and nothing happens :blush:

printscreen will take a screenshot of whatever that's on your screen~ Then you can open up the paint program or word document and do a paste :dance:


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## treasured

yayyyy i think ive done it haha! https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3d8c9e/thumb.png
My Ovulation Chart


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## lxb

Woohoo~~ :haha: NOW we can all stalk your chart!!! Temp looks good.. I guess we need more temp to see a pattern now! :bodyb:


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## Pino6161

:dance: Another person to stalk!! :haha:

I figured it out, and the screen shot thing is AWESOME!!


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## lauren26

I love chart stalking! No one on our thread posts tests for me to stalk, though! I might be the biggest POAS addict here...:haha:


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## treasured

hehe woohoo! yes im quite excited actually to temp every morning haha although when i wake im im so tired! is it okay to temp at 10.30am or is that too late? is my temp from today roughly what you ladies get? and are those high ones what you might get around af? cant beleive i have to wait liek two weeks till i see if I O!!!! arggg x


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## lauren26

Lol waitin to O is the worst!! 10:30 is fine if that's your consistent waking time. Also it's important to get 3 consecutive hours of sleep before temping.


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## treasured

yeahh thats okay then :) i somtimes wake up at like 8.30 for a min and then go back to sleep, is that bad?

anyone watch the olympics ceremony tonight? it was amazing! :D


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## MelloYello

I'm new to this too. Could use a friend myself.


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## MelloYello

I'm new to all this and have a lot of questions. So glad I found this site.


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## Pino6161

treasured--- If you wake up briefly it is ok. I do and it hasn't been a big deal. If you wake up, and take it, and can't go back to sleep. The bbt adjuster is great, at least it has been for me!!... PS don't forget to put your link in you signature :hugs:

Melloyellow--- :hi: you will love this website. It has been great for me, and you will find a whole lot of support!! :hugs:

Where was everyone else today?? Hopefully had a great day :hugs:


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## Pino6161

Good morning everyone!!

So my temps have been all over the place, as you all can see :shrug: So I wonder if it is because all of the sex. I mean me and OH always have quite a bit of it, but nothing compared to this month. :blush: As you guys know, I take my temp vaginally cause I can't take accurate temps with my mouth. So I am thinking, as much as I do NOT want to I might start taking my temp rectally next cycle. I despise the idea but it might be the only way to get accurate temps I guess. I have an appt next week w/ the Dr as when I went 2 weeks ago we discussed the fact that I don't ovulate every month, but I still get a period (weird I know). We have known this for a while, but she has absolutely no idea why. It looks like this month was a bust when it comes to ovulation :cry:. On top of that I ran out of my CBFM strips, and forgot to order more. 

I think that I am going to stop using the CBFM, and just temp. We are relaxing a bit on the TTC cause of the impending move, and we need to be saving money. We don't want to stop completely just cause I am very superstitious in a way,and we don't want to miss a month just in case it is the one that we are supposed to have. ( I know that makes no sense. It sounded better in my head :haha:)

So how is everyone? Anything special planned this weekend??

My OH's grandmother is here, and it breaks my heart. Her house burned down last week, and she looks so vulnerable, and broken. She is usually such a strong together woman. The entire family in pulling together funds, and materials for her. She has money in the bank, but it takes a lot to start from scratch. She just got laid off as well, so for her everything is falling apart. His grandmother is a rare being. She has money, and could retire if she wants, but she believes that if she is still standing she can work. I think she just gets bored. It worries me though as she is 82 y/o. 

Anyways, I hope you all have a great weekend!! :hugs:


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## countrygirl86

Good morning!

Pino - your OHs grandmother sounds like a very strong woman and it's hard to see someone like that in such a vulnerable state. Hopefully insurance will help and she can get back to her life. What an awful thing to happen at that age too. I don't blame you for taking a break from that monitor, it seemed to be more confusing than helpful unfortunately. How do you and your doctor know you aren't ovulating some months?

:hi: Melloyello! This is a great site and a great bunch of ladies!

lauren - feel free to post your sticks! We can all help!

treasured - Woohoo! You got it lol now you just have to put it in your signature so we can stalk easier :winkwink:


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## lauren26

Pino - Oh my gosh that poor woman!! I'm so sorry to hear that :( Good thing she's got family that cares for her :)
When I first saw my fertility specialist she thought I might not be ovulating 'strongly' and subsequently tested my prolactin levels. I think that there is sometimes an issue with the pituitary (I think) gland not effectively communicating to the body that it needs to ovulate, making ovulation weak or non-existant. I know you said before you had all the tests, but my first doc never ever mentioned the prolactin test, and it seems like a simple one with a quick fix. Maybe you could request that? If that's the case they can try you on Letrazole or Clomid. I think Letrazole is supposed to be a temporary one to get your brain back in line with monthly ovulation. Anyway, I hope you get some answers soon! And I think having an anovulatory cycle with bleeding is common--you still bleed because the lining builds up over time and eventually gets to be too much for the body to maintain so it sheds. GL with your doc!


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## lauren26

Ugh today has been rough, ladies!! Pain and super bloating are almost gone but they were immediately replaced with nausea, total exhaustion, and dizziness! OH leaves town tomorrow morning and I thought I'd feel a lot better by then. I can't wait for this part to be over and get on with the BDing!! I feel grateful that I'm somewhat young and healthy or I bet this would be a lot worse. The woman who went into surgery before me looked to be in her 70's and OH overheard her husband say that sr had ovarian cancer :cry::cry:. I guess I should count my lucky stars and focus on the fact that everything went so well instead of whining! Still, wish OH wasnt leaving tomorrow! How is everyone else's weekend?


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## SleepyOwl

Hey all!! Im heading back home tomorrow from vacation and I already miss the beach :( I'll write to everyone individually tomorrow as its too difficult on this phone. AF got me tonight. At least she waited til the last day of vacation - shes not totally heartless I suppose!


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## treasured

welcome mello! you will find this extermely helpful and amazing :)

ohhh pino its one thing after another huh? laurens got a good point with the clomid suggestion.. have they never offered that before? hope your feeling a bit better :hugs: 

I am still totally confused by temping cause by the looks of the chart yesterdays temp went up again :S I was staying at OHs dads last night and so couldnt take my temp this morning.... ugh! 

Lauren- :( i hope your not still feeling too bad! I get what you mean about others in a worse situation but this is still a big deal and do not feel bad for taking care of youself and get totally back to normal before you do anything else! :) (no matter how tempting BDing may be ;) hehe) Will your cycles be the same as they were before do you think or will the procedure have affected your O day? 

Had a fun night last night with OHs dad and his partner, had an AMAZING indian curry and quite a few glasses of wine :O, I know I know, but Im getting to the stage of oh what the heck! Cant live your whole life without doing the things your like! 
I also found out that my other friend that thought she was 4 months pregnant is actually only 13 weeks and now doesnt plan on keeping it.... WTF? She was telling me she could feel it kick and everything, but now shes only 13 weeks? I smell a rat!! But now Im annoyed at her for her decision, although its probably best in her situation. 
I have de ja vu that this happened before....oh wait, it did! :doh: 

OH went off to work today with a bit of a hangover hehe, he was verrry drunk it was hilarious as hes not really had a drink for about a month! So im going to make him a nice dinner for when he gets in :) 

how is everyone ? xxxxx


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## SashimiMimi

Hi ladies! Thank you for all your support and encouragement about IVF. I've decided to just go for it, and got the process started today. I will be taking birth control pills for 12 days to pretty much shut down my system so it responds to the fertility drugs. I gave a $4,000 deposit for the drugs and received a TINY vial of liquid to start injections with on Aug 3rd. Really, I can't believe that something which looks like an inch of water is this expensive!! 

Anyway, it looks like we will be doing the retrieval and transfer at the end of August. Something about this timing just feels really good to me. I know it's soon and we haven't had a lot of time to process but I rather just go for it than sit around. I wondered if i should try to eat better and work out more for a couple of months prior to IVF... So I have had consultations with both my naturopath and acupuncturist and both of them said its better to have a healthy mind as opposed to a super healthy body. I feel great both mentally and emotionally right now and who knows how I'll feel in the fall. So that is that, IVF process has started.

I am going to follow a hormonal balancing meal plan over the next few weeks, just so that I feel I'm doing everything right. I've also been referred to someone who does fertility hypnosis which I think will really help with the emotional ups and downs of this whole dang process!!

So that is where I am at! I've had a great weekend, we threw a surprise birthday party for my mom yesterday. She was totally shocked when we all jumped out from behind the furniture and yelled surprise!!!!!! She was really touched and my niece and nephew were extra cute yesterday. My niece is starting junior kindergarten in September and I've been buying her lots of little outfits from H&M. Their stuff is too cute!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to try and write some individual messages later. OH has hogged my laptop all day, I'm on my iPad right now and it's impossible to scroll back through all the stuff I have missed on here!!


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## countrygirl86

Lauren - sorry you are still uncomfortable. Are you taking time off this week too? It definitely sounds like you need a few more days of rest. Your body will let you know your limits! 

Sleepy - sounds like you had a great time and I can't wait to hear all about your trip! Safe travels home. Way to put a positive spin on it, if she had to come at least she waited till your trip was almost over!

treasured - fun night you had! You definitely have to let loose once in a while and it won't hurt anyway! It must be really hard for you watching your friends give these babies up, my heart goes out to you. 

Sashimi - you are on your way girl! The first day of the most exciting time of your life. I don't think you'll have any regrets about your timing decision, you sound more than ready. Glad you had a great weekend to start it all off too. Happy Birthday to your mom from all of us!


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## lxb

melloyello - :wave: welcome to this thread! It is filled with a bunch of amazing & supportive ladies here~

pino - rectally? :wacko: you're a brave lady!! It's heartbreaking to hear about your oh's grandmother. it's true though that if they don't work, they often will be sooo bored at home that they don't know what to do with their time! Hopefully things will be back on track for her.

lauren - every time I go into the lap for bloodwork, I wonder what are all those people are in there for. Hope you'll feel better soon.

sleepy - time for af to pack her belonging this cycle... and she shall be off for a looooooooooooong vacation~~ :)

treasured - glad you had fun! a few glasses of wine are okay~~ enjoy yourself! Oh.. can't imagine to have friends around you that kept getting preggo & not planning on keeping it! :dohh: it would drive me crazy! :gun: Yay for chart in signature!! I love stalking charts!!!

sashimi - you are as ready as you'll ever be! So glad that you're going for it and you're on your way to your bundle of joy! And Happy Belated Birthday to Mama Sashimi!!!

country - happy peach week hun~~~~!!

afm, i've had NO bleeding since the 2nd round of medication. Had my u/s this morning and the doc said it looks better than last week's u/s. BUT, it seems like my ovaries are swollen? and there might be a cyst? or molar pregnancy? Not much she can tell me until bloodwork is done. So went in for another bloodwork this morning and waiting to hear from them now. If my hcg is <5, then I'm ok. If not, then I'll have to go through d&c. I've already scheduled d&c for tomorrow. So we shall see if I need to cancel it or not.

Feel so tired and worn out. Just want this to be over with.

I was planning to go camping with DH this weekend. So we'll see if we need to cancel the plan. :shrug:


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## RCAFWife

Hey ladies!
I've been ttc forever it seems, and no luck. Just passed the 19th cycle of trying and I'm feeling pretty devastated now. None of the doctors we've been to so far can see a problem other than DH's low sperm count; now I'm thinking it's lower than they suggested, seeing that we haven't been successful yet. I'm not sure what to do differently this cycle, as far as ttc goes. Anyone have any tips on using soft cups?


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## lxb

:wave: rcafwife, good to see you here~~ You won't regret coming here and these ladies are awesome! :)


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## lauren26

Sashimi - I know I've written you this, but I'm SO excited for your IVF cycle!! I have a great feeling about it and feel like you're super clear about it being the right time and the right step! Can't wait to hear about that BFP :)

lxb - OY!!! I am so sorry you've had to deal with all of this for so long!!! :( I know I'm not alone in saying that you totally deserve for this to all be over and done with already and for it to be an easy process! I am surprised to hear that they think it might be a molar pregnancy! What does that mean?? That it's in the ovary? Did they say why you could have cysts in the ovaries? I am thinking a lot about you and praying that thi is over asap! :hugs:

RAF - I'm sorry your journey has been so long! You have definitely come to the right place :) I used Soft Cups last cycle and I am pretty sure I had a chemical (had a lap right after which revealed a few reasons the pg couldn't have hung on), so I'd say they work well!! Some women leave them in over night but I just kept one in for a few hours. You've probably been asked this a million annoying times, but have you and OH looked into any herbal remedies or anything like that for the sperm count? I've heard really good things about natural treatment for sperm count lately.

Afm, Wow, I just should have slept in instead of going to work at 8:30!! It was super rough for a few hours and got a bit easier. I am definitely going in later tomorrow, now that I've been back and gotten a lot of support around taking plenty of time off to heal. I have tons of work this week, which is the hard part. Anyway, I am feeling better today but just tired tired tired. It hasn't even been a full week so I guess this recovery isn't all that long. OH left town last night and will return Weds, so I think that contributed to my tiredness today--had trouble sleeping despite my exhaustion and ended up snuggling up with my cats on the couch! Lol. It's soooo much softer and cushier than my bed. Hope everyone else had a nice Monday!


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## SleepyOwl

Finally on a computer! 

Sashimi - I think it's so wonderful that you are starting your IVF procedures. The timing really does seem perfect and you seem to really have a sense of peace. I hope that this is it for you and you get the BFP that you deserve. Is OH feeling good about the process as well? Happy birthday to Mama Sashimi!!! 

Lauren - I'm glad you're feeling better, but definitely try to sleep in a bit tomorrow! Your body has been through a lot and I'm sure work can do without you girl!! I hate when my OH goes away on business. I usually end up making out with my dog and snuggling all night with her lol. You sound like you're getting good snuggle time in!!!

Rcaf - Welcome friend! I'm sorry your TTC journey has been so long. What did the doctors suggest for OH's sperm count? Lxb is right - this thread is a great place for encouragement, support and venting. Glad you're here :hugs:

Lxb - :hugs: Already commented in your journal, but again I'm praying everything goes smoothly tomorrow and you can begin TTCing again soon. 

MelloYello - Welcome!!

Treasured - Sounds like you, OH and OH's dad had quite a night!! Any kind of curry and alcohol sounds like a fun time to me (I'm Indian and that's pretty much how all of our family events go lol). Very strange about your friend! So she has decided to not keep the baby now?? I would go nuts if I kept having to deal with friends like that. 

Pino - That is so terrible about OH's grandmother. Just breaks my heart to hear stories like that!! How are you doing otherwise? Everything going alright?

AFM, I'm just about finished AF. My doctor's appointment is scheduled for August 29th due to a mix up on their part. They are going to try to squeeze me in next week at some point. OH is waiting to hear back as to when the urologist is free to see him. So I feel like we are making a little progress and that's good. Of course I'll still be TTCing my life away come CD8 lol!! 

I hope nothing is wrong with either of us and that it's just a matter of time. I think I've mentioned this before, but OH has a cyst on each testicle and I'm super worried that it's something that causes male factor infertility, but I'm just trying to not to think/worry about it until he sees the urologist. Each year he brings it up to his doctor, and they are confident it is nothing harmful and his blood work is always normal, but now that we are TTC, we think it's about time for an SA. 

Also, I went bodysurfing on Saturday and slammed my head into the ocean floor when a wave broke over me and am fairly certain I've sprained my neck. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow during lunch since I can barely move. The only thing I'm concerned with is what if my back hurts so bad I can't have sex starting CD8??! 

Sorry for the novel :blush:


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## SashimiMimi

Lxb, you are such a trooper. I'm so sorry that once again the doctor's didn't give you the "all clear" with this entire ordeal. You're almost through it, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I admit your incredible positive attitude really inspired me today.

I caught a terrible cold from my niece and nephew. I swear every time I see them I get run down. I guess because they are in daycare and always have some sort of bug. I dragged myself through work today and now have a sore throat, massive headache and a fever! Just feeling awful today kind of burst my optimism from yesterday and I have had that nagging voice of doubt in the back of my mind. But when I came on here and read how strong you are Lxb, despite feeling tired and worn out, you totally shook me out of my rut. 

I said earlier that I wanted to come on and write individual messages, but instead of writing a response to recent chatter that has been going on as of late, I'd like to take a moment to give thanks and gratitude toward all of you. I would be in a completely different emotional place if it weren't for you ladies. Since beginning this thread back in March, our journeys have taking some dramatic twists and turns, but we always find a way back to this board and have a few laughs, a few tears and really comfort each other through this never-ending road. I know we haven't met in person, and we are really just a few typed words on a webpage, but I do want all of you to know how much you have impacted my TTC journey.

I feel stronger for having met Lauren, who faced this surgery head on and dealt with some mind-blowing results, while totally breezing through it with grace and ease. It's incredible to know that these problems that have been blocking you from a BFP have been removed and you've been given this green light to TTC naturally. I feel like while I've been virtually holding your hand through this process, it makes me feel like I can face anything with this TTC journey and not feel the fear. We have had many side conversations outside of the board and when we connect on so many personal levels, it reminds me that TTC is just one small part of my overall life.

Lxb- as I said above, you've faced a really tragic ordeal that just plain isn't fair. But the way you come on this board, always look at the bright side of things no matter how awful you feel really means a lot and I want you to know that. Of course, you are allowed to feel sad and you have us to lean on. But the day you cracked the one liner about ninja kicking your MIL when just about all of us felt like giving up, you made us all smile! We needed that kind of laughter in here more than anything!

Sleepy - I can totally relate to where you are at this point in your journey. When I wrote the very first thread on this board in March, I had been trying for more than 6 months but less than a year. I felt like I was in this odd place of limbo, where I knew something wasn't working but everyone kept telling me it would happen. We can both relate on the fact we know someone close to us who went through 4 IUIs until a BFP. It gives us hope and someone IRL to relate to, but it doesn't exactly give us answers. Like you do now, I had had in-laws asking when we would have kids, I was getting invited to baby-centric events, in fact I still am. It's been nice to know that I'm not alone! The not knowing of all of this is such a tough road and I'm glad we can support each other while we are on it. 

Pino - You totally give me a much needed reality check! Even though you are 10 years younger than me (and actually a year older than my nephew), you are so wise beyond your years and are often the voice of reason I need to hear! Your strength and determination through all of this really keeps me going! When things in my life seem like a dead end, you've been right here to encourage not only me, but all of us to keep going!

Haribo - We are the same age and have been trying for the same amount of time. I know you mentioned earlier there was a bit of a mix up with your fertility appointment on Aug 13 (your bday!), but I am really excited for you to take this next step. I'd definitely like to connect more and share fertility visit stories. If you ever want to compare notes, I'm here for you.

Treasured - Like Pino, you are also wise beyond your years! I'm sorry to hear that you are going through two friends terminating their BFPs. It's sad and must be so tough for you to handle IRL. But you have clearly been kind and mindful to their wishes for their own bodies, and you have done the same for everyone on this board. It always helps to pop on here and hear your enthusiasm and encouraging words!

Preg - I know you didn't have the long TTC journey, but when you mentioned that you have been knocked out more than 10 times it made me feel better about the fact that I will be mildly sedated for my IVF retrieval. Also when you mention that your baby is stretching its a reminder that BFPs do happen. 

And Country - Your story is my light at the end of my tunnel. Every time I hear that voice of doubt during my own journey, I think of you and how you have defied all the odds and got your BFP. When I think that it is never going to happen for me, I think of you and I know that it CAN and it WILL happen! You are so kind and encouraging, yet SO modest!!! I'm so happy for you and I hope that soon enough that all of us will be coming to you for first trimester advice. 

To the new ladies who just joined, you couldn't have found a better thread! Welcome!


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## SashimiMimi

Ahhhh Sleepy! We wrote at the same time, just like the good old days. So excited for you to have your doctor's appointment scheduled!! It's scary like I said, the not knowing, thinking what could be wrong, but it will all be okay. I know that I have hostile CM, thyroid disease and a low ovarian reserve and I'm okay with that. Even if there is some sort of male infertility with OH, they can get around that. My OH had a bladder/kidney infection last summer and I worried about the same thing, what if it ruined something. You will feel better once you see the doctor, it's a liberating, proactive feeling! I'll be there every step of the way with you!


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## SleepyOwl

Aww Sashimi - you brought me to tears with both of your posts. I'm literally crying into my tattered old night shirt. It's so true though what you said - I feel so lucky to have each of you girls to go through this TTC journey with. Especially since I know you, Lauren and several others have already been through these beginning appointments. I feel better prepared mentally and emotionally for what may come. In a way it's like having TTC sisters - I feel like I can turn to you all for anything in this journey that I don't feel comfortable sharing IRL.


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## lauren26

Sashimi!! You always know what to say :) Thank you for thanking everyone and for naming the awesome bond we all have! I am grateful for this board (which you started!) every day and honestly can't imagine where I'd be without it. I truly have no one IRL who can relate to my TTC journey so you ladies are PRICELESS to me. And even though we haven't met, I feel like I know each one of you so well and so personally! Where else can we talk about our cervical fluid?? Anyway, I second the very well-said thanks that you gave!

Sleepy - I am so glad that you and OH are going to get a few answers, and I hope that anything the docs find is an easy fix! And OUCH about your neck!!! Sounds like a few of us are out for the count! That just sounds so painful! Have you started your new job yet?? Either way I hope you are able to take some time and pamper that injury! And you're right, I think I need to relax about work! I am so afraid of seeming like my old boss who was out every week for a medical issue that I am afraid to take an entire week for major surgery!! I am definitely going to sleep in tomorrow--especially since OH is gone! I LOLed about your dog, but it makes a world of difference to have pets around when our OH's are away! I adore my cats :).

Treasured - I don't know if I said this before (feels like I was on drugs non-stop for 5 days) but I'm so sorry you're having to deal with friends terminating pregnancies--that sounds so painful and frustrating. It sounds like you've done a great job being a good friend despite the fact that you would never do what they're doing!! I really admire that. 

Pino and haribo, how are you two?? 

Hope I didn't miss anyone else...Totally glued to the computer tonight! I think I'm avoiding getting ready for bed without OH.


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## lauren26

PS What Sleepy said! :)


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## SashimiMimi

I actually cried while writing the post!!! I was more emotional writing that, than giving a speech at both my brother and BF's weddings! I'm sick, in bed with an airplane pillow around my neck and in a robe even though its 100 degrees outside, typing and sobbing, so I probably look like someone out of a Bridget Jones movie!

I never in a million years thought I would go through IVF, its so expensive and so drastic and honestly, it's the last resort. I feel like a door could very well shut in my face, but my optimism really comes from the support of this board!

I hope we can maybe all meet somehow, one day, when we all have our BFPs or babies! We can say remember when we all met on the board and Sleepy's MIL screamed into the phone and Lxb dressed up as a ninja and karate chopped her MIL? And remember how scared and frustrated we all were? One day these feelings will all be a passing memory!

Sleepy any time you want to ask questions about fertility visits, feel free to email me! Even if you think it is trivial, ask! For these doctors, it gets so routine but for us, we are like deers in headlights! I'm happy to help as someone who has tried and failed at a few assisted conception attempts!


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## SashimiMimi

Gah!! Now I'm writing at the same time as Lauren!! Haha, love to see the momentum back on this board. Isn't it funny how me, Lauren and Sleepy all started new jobs around the same time fertility appointments started up. I was so overwhelmed and scared, but it has all worked out and honestly I think to myself that I don't know what I would do without my job as a distraction. I've had a couple late, drunken nights with my super fun co-workers, I like the work, I like that the office supports infertility and I couldn't have landed in a better place. Sleepy, I think if you just trust in the process it will all work out. When it rains it pours and it will feel so good to get out of this limbo where a question mark feels permanently placed over your head.

Cheers to moving forward!


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## lauren26

LOLLLL at the vision of you as Bridget Jones!! I am sorry, I know you're feeling rotten! But that image is too cute. I hope your OH is being super sweet to you! We SO will meet some day! That is definitely on my list of must-do's! 

Sleepy, I second the invitation to be asked about procedures! With the laundry list of things the women of this board have been through (a list which is constantly being added to!) I think we'll have every test, procedure, and treatment in the book covered before this is all over! Of course I hope that won't be necessary, but at least we're an informed group!


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## lauren26

LOL we did it again...OK I'm officially stopping for the night!


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## SleepyOwl

I must be having an emotional break because I am still crying!!! I jus downed almost 32 oz of Gatorade in an effort to choke back the tears. Clearly I should sleep soon. 

Lauren - I haven't started my job yet. Still waiting for them to finish my security clearance and background check. It seems like it's moving along though so it should just be a matter of time. 

Sashimi - I will probably send you an email as the appointment gets closer. I want to make sure I'm prepared for the appointment and that I'm asking the right questions and not forgetting important points. And I agree - it must be totally crazy gearing up for IVF. I don't think anyone ever imagines that they will be in that position. But you really are handling it wonderfully and I think that having such a peace about it speaks volumes about it being the right thing at the right time for you and OH. 

And yes, I second Sashimi - we should all totally meet one day! 

P.S. I'm still crying! Lol!!


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## SleepyOwl

lauren26 said:


> LOL we did it again...OK I'm officially stopping for the night!

What she said!


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## SashimiMimi

Haha! I'm LOLing at myself for feeling like Bridget Jones. Yes, OH is being super sweet. He went out and got me NyQuil, Popsicles, throat lozenges and McD's for dinner... which I haven't had in years, but it was so good!!! Probably the worst thing for a cold and fever, and not what I should be eating while gearing up for IVF, but I needed it! And we watched Breaking Bad together, so that was nice! Also, I will for sure wake up with a face full of zits tomorrow, but again. Worth it! It's says like these that I am also super thankful for my OH!


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## SashimiMimi

Oh geez, we need a live chat in here so we stop typing over each other. I'm going to lurk around for a few more minutes because it says Lxb is on. Lxb I see you!


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## SashimiMimi

Oh and sleepy I will send you my personal email!


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## SleepyOwl

LOL @ Sashimi seeing Lxb. Hilarious and creepy all at once!!!! I'll be looking for your email Sashimi - thank you for always being so helpful!!!


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## lxb

Hahahhahaha.... I can't laughing!! Bridget's jones! 

We should have live chat!! I kept on refreshing the page to see updates!! :haha:

I hope we do get to meet some day! With our babies!!!

You ladies are so much stronger than I am and you ladies ARE my inspirations! And I couldnt ask for a better group of ladies to share my ttc journey with.

*cheers* to moving forward! I love my crazy thread ladies!!


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## SashimiMimi

Well at the bottom it said current active users were me, Sleepy and lxb. Now it's just me and lxb and yes, I do feel creepy for stating that out loud! My NyQuil is kicking in, so I guess I will sign off as well! Night ladies!


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## SashimiMimi

oh Lxb!!! there you are! Haha! Now I can officially go to bed!


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## lxb

Just a quick update from me. My d&c is scheduled to be tomorrow afternoon. And the thing I a worried about is not being able to eat! :haha:

Looking forward to moving forward!


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## lxb

:haha: nite nite! :dance:


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## lauren26

Ok...HAD to pop on again for a minute and say thy Sleepy, I have been literally living off of Gatorade and saltines during recovery, Sashimi, I had McDs TWICE since my lap :blush:, and lxb I was SO scared of that part!! Not eating or drinking totally irritated me, and for some reason it's just cracking me up right now! Maybe because I am so food-centered? Anyway, I will be thinking of you!

Off to bed for real..


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## lxb

Now I see Lauren! :haha: and yea.. I cant imagine discussing about my cm IRL! And about our bd schedule! :haha:

Watching the Olympics now... And setting alarm for me to eat something before midnight :shy:


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## preg_pilot

SashimiMimi - just, thank you :hugs:

And I'm totally in for a future meet. :)


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## Pino6161

hi everyone!!

So I am all caught up reading for just the last 2 days LOL.Your girls ALWAYS have a tendency to write when I'm not online! So not fair LOL JK!!

So my OH took 2 days off, and it felt so good to spend so much time with him. With that being said I am glad he is back to work today :haha:

Today is my nephew's birthday, so I am taking him bowling. It should be fun. Honestly though, there has been way to much excitement this weekend, that I am ready to get back to my normal, boring routine.

Ok so TMI---
When me and OH were BDing yesterday, and he finished. (I was on top) I got off and a glob "fell" more like slid out of my, and it wasn't his cum but a HUGE glob of EWCM???? Has anyone had that happen?? It was really weird. IDK

Well I will comment individually a bit later :hugs:


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## Pino6161

So ladies. Me and OH have come to a conclusion&#8230; My Dr. is an IDIOT!!We decided that I am not going to get any more tests done until after we move in March and I find a new Dr. Since we don&#8217;t have any insurance it&#8217;s getting quite expensive to make an apt and here that we must not be BDing on the correct days. I am so irritated with the whole situation. So all in all we are going to just take it a bit easier, if that is even possible :shrug:

Update on Grandmother&#8230;. She is doing ok, and we have bought here som stuff that she needs, along with pulling together some money. She is in Phoenix right now, with my OH&#8217;s Aunt, but is coming back down before my Birthday on the 14th.

Lauren--- Sorry your surgery took a lot out of you, but at least it is over and done with.

Sleepy---Sorry AF got you, but at least you were able to enjoy the beach with your big boobs :haha:

Treasured--- Your chart looks normal. Remember after O your temp goes up, and after AF it goes back down, so your looks good so far. Sorry about your friend though, but you are right it is her choice, and it is the best for some, but never easy.

SashimiMimi--- :hugs: your post brought a tear to my eye :cry: In reality though, you are the strong one. After your IUI&#8217;s and BFN&#8217;s you are still moving forward, and now the IVF. I honestly don&#8217;t know if I would have the courage to go through with it. You are an amazing woman. As for the age difference&#8230;. Yes I am younger, and I had to grow up quickly. Me and OH were talking about this yesterday how all of our friends either already have &#8220;accidental&#8221; kids or they are partying everyday. I don&#8217;t really fit in my age group as I don&#8217;t have either :shrug:&#8230;.. So by the end of August they will do the implanting?? I am excited for you! :hugs:

Lxb--- How was your Dr&#8217;s apt??? Hopefully everything is all clear, so you can move on. :hugs:

RCAFWife--- I have never heard of soft cups?? But good luck!! :hugs:

It would be so awesome for all of us to meet up one day, hopefully after we all get our BFP&#8217;s and we can have playdates :haha:.


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## lxb

pino - I've had glob of ewcm before a couple of times.... but not after bd. Perhaps it's just the timing? In a sense it's good that you have ewcm to help those little guys swim upstream~~ :dance:

Not sure if you ladies have seen the movie (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel)... this quote has stuck in my head ever since:
"Everything will be alright in the end, if it's not alright, it's not the end"

I remember I once said to my SIL that I'm a strong believer for "everything happens for a reason" and she told me she's a strong believer for "suffering only helps you get stronger"

Let's be strong together and march on forward! Shall we? :drunk:

PS.. I'm Hungry!!! :shy: Hearing my coworker munching on an apple is not helping! :growlmad:


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## lauren26

Pino - I am glad that you're getting a new doc!!! I loved switching docs. I hope you find someone great.

lxb - !!! How long until you can eat?? I srsly eat all day long, lol. I feel for you! I wasn't allowed to have ANY water, either, before my lap--can you have any?? I couldn't even have a sip!! I hope your appt. is soon so that you can get all of this behind you and get on with making your rainbow baby!


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## lauren26

PS My update is that I am at work and sleeping in an extra hour made a world of difference! I made the mistake of having a breakfast burrito, though, after essentially not eating for a week and it was the wrong move, lol!! It will hold me over for the entire day. Sleepy and Sashimi, I hope you two are feeling better today!


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## countrygirl86

Sometimes I miss a couple of posts overnight, sometimes I miss PAGES! Love you ladies! 

Sashimi - That was such a sweet post. You are the glue that holds this thread together and I thank you everyday for creating it. DH even knows this one is the 'main thread I go on' and you ladies are the friends I made when I joined BnB. It's been almost 5 months since I first came on here and you all have kept me sane. I feel selfish for staying but I know you will all get your BFPs and I want to be around to share it with you :hugs: And I'm totally up for a meeting with everyone!

Lauren - I hope your night went ok without DH. Like Sleepy, I totally cuddle my dog when he isn't around lol. Breakfast burrito sounds delicious but might be a little tough on the digestive system after not eating much! Maybe it'll just bring it all back to normal!

lxb - good luck at your d&c today. It sucks big time not being able to eat but you'll be able to treat yourself soon and celebrate the beginning of trying for your rainbow baby :hugs: Forward it is!

Pino - that sounds like an indication of upcoming O? Sorry to hear your doctor is useless but hopefully you won't even need to find a new one next year. 

Sleepy - glad to have you back in full swing! You were missed!

Keep up the posts!


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## lauren26

country - SO not selfish to stay!!! We love you :)


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## haribo813

Yep, lxb, I'm with you marching forward! So nice to receive the sweet messages-I also don't know where I'd be without you all either. You really are a group of inspiring, strong, witty and crazy ladies. It's funny how despite all aiming for the same thing we've taking such different and difficult journeys.

Hope everyone is on the mend-poor Sashimi/Bridget(!), Lauren on the mend and lxb fasting. I realised I'd sneakily put on over half a stone the other week (9lbs!) so I'm trying but failing to lock down on my portions, chocolate and crisp cravings...

I've become an auntie again, we now have 2 little nieces. I've not seen the new addition but will at a family wedding next week which is exciting-she looks tiny and very sweet.

Pino it's definitely worth waiting for a good doctor. Mine is an absolute star, she rang me 3 times today to help me see a fertility specialist without having to endure all the tests again (which the hospital is currently insisting on). Hope you're enjoying time with your nephew.

Sleepy, brilliant that you're going ahead with the tests, good luck with them. It's nervewracking but facing up to them is good in the end-I liked feeling like I was taking control and it helps you eliminate the different possibilities.

Country, nice to hear from you, hope you're doing well.

I've become more than a little obsessed with the Olympics, there's so much to watch, I'm really getting into it! (At work too...I'm still hoping to snap up some last minute tickets as the keep releasing some each day!) OH and I are off to the fencing tomorrow, handball and hockey next week (that's field hockey to you kids!) - only the random sports for us! Also did any of you like/understand our opening ceremony?! I absolutely loved it but suspect it's a British thing...I hear NBC edited it, added ads and took out our remembrance bits, sob!

ps-Sashimi can I ask you how they test your ovarian reserve? I think this may affect me also.


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## RCAFWife

Wow! A lot has been written since I last signed on lol! Thank you so much for welcoming me into your group :) You guys really seem close and supportive of each other; just what every ttc woman needs here.

What kind of natural remedies for sperm count are we talking? Like herbal teas/supplements? There are SO many online nowadays...I'm not sure which ones are legit. I'm not sure DH would be willing to try too many of them haha. So far we are just trying zinc supplements (since we're not willing to eat the oysters) and getting him to wear boxer shorts to keep it cool down there. We've only started this since end of May this year so there's still time for it to start working. Soft cups are these insertable plastic cups designed as an alternative to tampons, but they don't carry that TSS (toxic shock syndrome) risk that tampons do. Also apparently they're reusable for those who are environmentally conscious, but...ewww. Not for me. I've read online that some women use them to help keep the sperm inside and close to the cervix so it doesn't run out prematurely. I just opened the package a couple days ago, and they look kinda big...so not sure how that will work out, but I intend to do a couple practice runs before my fertile days ;)


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## treasured

sash- your post made me cry :') in a nice way!! thank you so much for taking the time to write those things to us individually! you are such an inspiration to us all with your strong mind and I truly beleive that this amazing step you are taking will be a success for you! I cant wait for you to get your BFP :)

pino- thank you for clarifying my chart looks normal :) Im still confused by it but I guess it will take a few cycles to get used to! woo for new docs, Ive just moved doctors too and have an appointment with the nurse just to check things up... Im wondering whether to mention that im TTC at this point to her or not? I guess im just scared as they know me from childhood and know my mum! 

lauren- glad you seem to be feeling a bit better now :D (except from the burrito haha) do you feel any different like body wise? you know when you just 'know' somthings changed? big :hugs: for you :D

lxb- SO glad to still see happy faces in your posts, it honestly brightens up my day to see you happy :) i love those quotes too and totally beleive in them! I think that you have delt with this hurdle so well that if you dont get your BFP soon Im going to actually climb inside your ovaries and build a buba myself hehe :). 

RCAFwife- sorry I havent welcomed you yet! you are more than welcome :D love to have new ladies to moan/rant too haha! hope you find this thread helpful I have to say ive joined lots of threads and NONE compare to the support you will find here :) Im afraid I dont know much about sperm raisers but I know that the fertile aid packs you can get online/instore can help with things like that, there are some specific to male fertility. Sorry if thats not what you mean by natural remedies :doh: also I found this online maybe some of these vits might help? 

"Certain vitamins---including coenzyme Q10, vitamin C and zinc---have been shown to improve sperm production.
Read more: https://www.livestrong.com/article/195350-what-vitamins-increase-sperm-production-naturally/#ixzz22KnzKRwf"

sleepy- how are you :) I feel a little out of touch from you so just wanted to send hugs :hugs: 

country- do NOT feel like that hehe you belong in this thread :) I cant wait till your scan pics turn into real life baby pictures! and hope we all have our bfps before then haha! how is the nausea holding up? I read in your journal it was getting a bit annoying!

preg- howwwwwwwwww is your time going? MS (or in your case all day sickness :O) going away yet? when are we going to get a scan pic of your wee bean? :) 


I honestly wish I could meet all you ladies right now! I actually have daydreams while on here where we are all sitting in a little coffee shop in paris ( i dont know why paris ) but anyway.... a hot waiter comes over and asks us what we would like to choose from a menu, and the menu is babies!! i love it. but honestly sometimes wish it was easy for us to get together :(. 

In my news.... I recently applied for two jobs as a Support Worker (kind of social work/disability care) and after 3 weeks id kind of lost hope... but today I got two letters one from each inviting me for interviews! woohoo! :) So I am totally reading up on social care and trying to prepare myself cause I really want one of them, they are the same job, just two different companies! It would get me soo much more money and allow me to start saving more for possiblities that might be needed in the future... (early fertility treatments if needed). 

Anyway... that will do from me haha :) hope everyone is good! xx


----------



## treasured

haribo- cant beleive how I missed you! Im very tired :O I have also become a little obsessed by the olympics... i didnt think I was into it, but its actually really exciting. How AMAZING was the queen parachuting? im with you on the crisps/chocolate cravings! although ive not had quite as many as I usually do recently so its not too bad :O How are you anyway in general? :) x


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## lauren26

Woohoo to the queen parachuting!! LOL. Treasured, I don't know how it is in the UK, but in the US there is a law called HIPPA that prohibits health care provides from sharing confidential medical information (ANY medical information) with anyone other than people you've signed off on. Would your nurse keep it private if you tell her you're TTC?

RAF - There are special fertility vitamin blends for men, to increase sperm quality or count. I used the Soft Cups for keeping sperm in--they DO NOT work in place of tampons!! Yuck. They are really big and when I used them they sort of sat a little sideways inside but did the trick! 

My day at work was totally insane today and I'm glad it's over, though I feel like tomorrow will be worse! I have my follow-up appointment with the doctor in the morning, and I think she will show me my surgery pics. I have been coming in an hour late to work every day to try and get more rest since I'm still not quite 100%, and it's helped, but this is absolutely the craziest work week and if I were feeling super duper I'd probably be putting in 50 hours!! How are the rest of you ladies?


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## preg_pilot

treasured said:


> sash- your post made me cry :') in a nice way!! thank you so much for taking the time to write those things to us individually! you are such an inspiration to us all with your strong mind and I truly beleive that this amazing step you are taking will be a success for you! I cant wait for you to get your BFP :)
> 
> pino- thank you for clarifying my chart looks normal :) Im still confused by it but I guess it will take a few cycles to get used to! woo for new docs, Ive just moved doctors too and have an appointment with the nurse just to check things up... Im wondering whether to mention that im TTC at this point to her or not? I guess im just scared as they know me from childhood and know my mum!
> 
> lauren- glad you seem to be feeling a bit better now :D (except from the burrito haha) do you feel any different like body wise? you know when you just 'know' somthings changed? big :hugs: for you :D
> 
> lxb- SO glad to still see happy faces in your posts, it honestly brightens up my day to see you happy :) i love those quotes too and totally beleive in them! I think that you have delt with this hurdle so well that if you dont get your BFP soon Im going to actually climb inside your ovaries and build a buba myself hehe :).
> 
> RCAFwife- sorry I havent welcomed you yet! you are more than welcome :D love to have new ladies to moan/rant too haha! hope you find this thread helpful I have to say ive joined lots of threads and NONE compare to the support you will find here :) Im afraid I dont know much about sperm raisers but I know that the fertile aid packs you can get online/instore can help with things like that, there are some specific to male fertility. Sorry if thats not what you mean by natural remedies :doh: also I found this online maybe some of these vits might help?
> 
> "Certain vitamins---including coenzyme Q10, vitamin C and zinc---have been shown to improve sperm production.
> Read more: https://www.livestrong.com/article/195350-what-vitamins-increase-sperm-production-naturally/#ixzz22KnzKRwf"
> 
> sleepy- how are you :) I feel a little out of touch from you so just wanted to send hugs :hugs:
> 
> country- do NOT feel like that hehe you belong in this thread :) I cant wait till your scan pics turn into real life baby pictures! and hope we all have our bfps before then haha! how is the nausea holding up? I read in your journal it was getting a bit annoying!
> 
> preg- howwwwwwwwww is your time going? MS (or in your case all day sickness :O) going away yet? when are we going to get a scan pic of your wee bean? :)
> 
> 
> I honestly wish I could meet all you ladies right now! I actually have daydreams while on here where we are all sitting in a little coffee shop in paris ( i dont know why paris ) but anyway.... a hot waiter comes over and asks us what we would like to choose from a menu, and the menu is babies!! i love it. but honestly sometimes wish it was easy for us to get together :(.
> 
> In my news.... I recently applied for two jobs as a Support Worker (kind of social work/disability care) and after 3 weeks id kind of lost hope... but today I got two letters one from each inviting me for interviews! woohoo! :) So I am totally reading up on social care and trying to prepare myself cause I really want one of them, they are the same job, just two different companies! It would get me soo much more money and allow me to start saving more for possiblities that might be needed in the future... (early fertility treatments if needed).
> 
> Anyway... that will do from me haha :) hope everyone is good! xx

I´m finally on the correct computer, so I´ll be posting my scan pics right below here :D

MS is still here, on and off, and a bit of acid reflux today too. Nothing too horrible. Haven´t hurled in days, though I´ve been close a couple of times.

Feeling alright. In Boston atm (24 hour stop), but I'll be in Denmark with OH from the 10th until the 18th this month :) So looking forward to that.

And without further ado, here are my scan pictures, dated at 12 weeks and 2 days.
Little bean is 5.7cm (just over 2 inches), and had an attitude :)
After about 5 minutes he/she waved at us, and turned his/her back on us ... soo precious.



Oh, I hope you get the job you´re hoping for. I´ve worked as a supporter for handicapped people, in their home. Loved it so much, but it was just temporary, as I was learning to become something else ;) It´s such a giving career :)


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## Pino6161

Haribo--- Suprisingly I never really watched the olimpics before. I went to my MIL&#8217;s the other day and they were on, and I have been hooked ever since!!

RCAFWife--- I thought about trying the soft cups but the thought kinda grosses me out :haha:

Treasured--- Your daydream made me smile!! Yaaaaayyyyy for the interviews:dance:!! I hope they go really well, and then they can fight over you :haha:

Lauren--- Be careful with all that work! Your body needs to rest up!!

Preg_Pilot--- Your scans are so precious. There is actually a little baby in there :haha:. Glad your MS has subsided a bit.

Lxb--- How did your apt go??? Hopefully all is good and you will be able to move on. I am thinking about you! :hugs:

SleepyOwl--- How are you doing hun??

I hope I got everyone and if not sorry :shrug: I am kinda rushing through this.

So FF gave me crosshairs a day before I had that huge glob of cum fall out.

OH hurt his back pretty badly yesterday but refuses to go to the Dr. If it gets worse I will force him to go. Ok so with my husbands back hurting, I was very excited in a way as it meant no BDing. Well OH thought differently. So we ended up doing the dirty, and he tells me that he knows we need to take a break from all of this sex, but we have such a good streak going and he doesn&#8217;t want to break it :haha: Thinking about it I kinda agree, I look forward to putting that X on FF :blush:

On another note I am feeling neutral. Usually by this time of month I am feeling really positive, but IDK not this month. I think it is cause I O&#8217;d a bit later than usual. IDK. I am trying to take things as they come rather than worrying so much!

I hope everyone is doing well!! :hugs:


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## lxb

country - you better not leave this crazy lady thread!! else we might just have to hunt you down~~ :haha: hv fun bra-shopping! my sis is hunting for new bras too! :haha:

haribo - congrats on being an auntie again. they are so precious arent' they? soon you will have your little ones with you~ :) I'm addicted to olympics too! Diving, swimming, gymnastic, volleyball.. can't wait for track & field~!! haha.. it's funny.. DH & I actually looked at the list of sports and said .. "what the heck is handball???" :haha:

rcaf - gluck with soft cups! I've heard successful stories with it too~ Just remember to pop your bum up~ :thumbup: Oh.. I think nuts contained zinc too! Perhaps he should eat some nuts!

treasured - yeah, temp charts wil make more sense later (kind of). You'll see your own pattern! Hope this helps and it's another step closer to bfp!! AHHhhh.. can't wait for you ladies to get your BFPs!!! Ohh... I've always wanted to visit paris! We shall meet there one day in that coffee shop! and good luck with your job search :hugs: & LOL at climbing into my ovary & build a buba! :haha: thanks hun~ you put a huge smile on my face! :hugs: lemme know in advance when u'r coming~ and I shall make you some cookies! :dance:

preg - i loooooooooooooove your scan pic!! it's so precious! hope your ms will ease up~~ & keep up with weight loss!

lauren - ah... reading about your follow-up appt reminds me that i need to schedule a followup appt with my dr! It's funny that after anesthesia.. you should not make any important decisions within 24 hours or sign any legal documents! My sis told me... "Okay! Decide what you want to have for lunch tomorrow now.. because you can't make any decision tomorrow! :haha:" Hope you days at work will ease up. I'm currently back to work and just feel like I want to sleep!

sleepy - how's your neck?? 

sashimi - hope you're feeling better~~

pino - any sign of O yet?

afm, for the surgery.. no solid food after midnight and no liquid 8 hours prior to surgery. That's why I had to set alarm clock to eat something before midnight and another reminder at 6am to drink some water. I couldn't believe I've only eaten a cup of hot cocoa and a piece of bread for the whole day! (that's usually only my bfast-snack!)

Slept pretty much the whole day yesterday. Laid on the bed .. doozing off while watching some cartoon! :shy: Back to work today and still feel sleepy. Not much bleeding after the first day, which is good and very mild cramping. My sis asked if I remember much about the surgery and told me the male nurses that wheeled you out are cute!! And yes..I remember THAT! :haha:

follow up appt w/ doc in 2 weeks. And nothing in hoo ha for the next 4 weeks!! :wacko: I guess I'll be looking forward to Sept 1st very much!! (that's also the day MIL will be gone for 2 days :haha:) Just glad that this is done and I know for a fact that there are no more retaining products in there (i hope). So will just be waiting for hcg level to drop back to below 5 (it was 35 on 7/30)~


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## Pino6161

lxb--- You are making me hungry talking about not being able to eat :haha: Glad you are back to work, but make sure you take it easy, and try not to fall asleep LOL. FF says I o'd on the 29th. I'm not to worried about sex timing as we have had so much of it my hoohaa is a bit sore :haha:


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## lxb

pino - :haha: glad to hear about your bd streak! since lauren & I aren't allow to have anything in our hoohas... the rest of you ladies should bd xtra hard for the both of us! :ninja: :haha: had some hot cocoa & coffee this morning... still haven't done anything productive at work yet! :dohh: so... definitely taking it easy~ 

I take back what I said about no bleeding... I spoke too soon. But it isnt bad... it's more like light af.


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## Pino6161

lxb--- I hate it when that happens. It seems like every month I say, "no AF yet" and it hits me w/in an hour LOL!! Glad you are taking it easy!! :hugs:


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## lauren26

lxb - Nuts for the nuts!! LOL. GAH on not BDing for 4 weeks!!!! I got the go-ahead today to BD if I feel like it, but 'nothing crazy', LOL!!! My doc actually said that to me. 

Pino - I would be about ready for a BD break, too, if I were you!! 

Afm, had my follow-up this morning and the doc told me what I already knew but it was nice to hear the info 'sober'. She showed me pics of the surgery, which were gross and cool. She said that normally they go straight to IVF with a case of endo as bad as mine, but that the surgery put me back in a 'normal' state and there is only microscopic endo in there currently, so I will try for 6 months. I am thanking God that I don't have to go straight to IVF because we just don't have our finances in order for that quite yet. So! I will go on Letrazole next month and BD naturally and do every single thing diet-wise and health-wise etc. to make that baby while I can! Doc said that we will need to get pg, have our baby, get pg again, have our baby, and so on for as many kids as we want because this is the window. Whew!! I am excited and nervous!


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## lxb

lauren - :haha: yay for green light for BD!! You MUST BD more.. for me! :haha: I smell BFP in the near days~~ 

I called to schedule a followup appt. And the lady said "Oh.. Looks like you're scheduled on the 14th!"... Hmm.. I guess I am! That's good to know I've an appt eh? Just got a call from the hospital asking how I'm doing. I know it's just their job to 'followup'... but it just feels good to feel like they care~ :kiss:

the doc asked if I have known liver issue before the surgery as she said my blood work showed something is up with my liver. :wacko: I just hope that was a fluke from the mc?

OT - I clicked on the 'unread post' and lurk around. Saw some posts from the paranormal section. And I'm all freaked out! I'm a believer.. and I'm scared.. and yet... I still click on the threads to read the stories! :dohh:

Random - "Marry Me" by Bruno Mars song is stuck in my head!!


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- Get to your BDing LOL. Hopefully you will get your BFP w/out any drastic, well more drastic measures. :hugs:

Lxb---Your appt is on my birthday!! Let's hope time goes quickly so that you can get back to bding


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## countrygirl86

RCAFwife - I think you are thinking of 'mooncups' that you can use in place of a tampon. Softcups are used after BDing. Whereabouts are you in Canada?

treasured - I totally pictured you flying across the world, jumping in lxbs body and making a baby then flying to Paris to meet us all at the cafe! And I'm totally in for that! Good luck with your jobs, do you like one company better than the other or are you hoping for both the same? The nausea is still hanging in there, I'm keeping (healthy) food in my stomach and that keeps it at bay.

preg - lovely scan pics! Amazing how far along they are at just 12 weeks. Are you going to find out the gender?

Pino - you have had quite the streak! Might as well take it while you can get it and if it doesn't work out this month, you won't feel like you have to next month and you can give your hoo haa a break! lol 

lxb - I'm glad you are recovering well. I will have a few extra BDs for you and lauren (I'll have a 'crazy' one for her) lol Hope you enjoyed your coffee! That's a catchy song so I'm not surprised it's stuck in your head!

lauren - What is Letrazole for? I'm super excited for you! Come on 2013, 2014 and 2015 babies!

I'll stick around, I can't leave you! :hugs:


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## Pino6161

By the way I would just like to go on record and say I am so tired of these long ass cycles!!! I am on CD28 and I barely O'd 4 days ago. This is BS. Most normal people would be starting a new cycle by now. I feel like over half of my cycle is just a waste of time.

Sorry I had to get that out!!


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## haribo813

Ahhh, I'll marry you lxb! Pleased things are going well for you and the countdown until 1 Sept can begin. It is already August after all-how did that happen by the way? What a process though, you really are a legend for coping so admirably. Hope the spotting eases up.

Well done Treasured on the jobs-you've got yourself into a great position, so fingers crossed you can snap one of them up! I am thinking about applying for a new job this weekend so know how painful those application forms can be...Ha ha your Paris coffee shop dream made me giggle. I've been thinking about it and i would tell your dr that you're ttc, patient confidentiality is pretty strict here and i doubt someone would break it. Plus although this kind of thing seems like a big deal to us, I'm sure not much can surprise doctors and nurses so she'll probably bat it away as if it's nothing.

Welcome RAF, I've not used softcups but heard lots of good things. As for herbal supplements, I've recently put my OH on the zinc-will let you know if we get our BFP this month...13 has always been lucky for me.

Pino I'm not surprised you're sore! Hope OH is on the mend. Did you break him?!

Lauren, well you've got the green light! And I hope this is the start of a baby production line for you-very exciting! Sorry work is so manic-when it rains it pours right?

Sashimi - how are you doing? Have you finished taking the pills or do you have to take them each day? 

Hey Sleepy, how are you doing? You are quiet my dear.

Preg, great scan pics and funny you had to wait to see them. Sounds like you have an exciting globetrotter month planned.

Country I really can't wait to see your scan pics-when are you going in?

Update for me is I was asked by fertility specialist team to come in to do blood tests and scans AGAIN and OH a 2nd sperm test-pretty much the same ones we've already done. So i queried it and my local dr rang to check whether they really need to be done again and they do (boring story). So I need to wait until AF starts and go in again for day 1-3 tests and another scan to check follicles (while with AF yuck!). Got some slightly worrying news though-that my FSH was upper limit of normal-they think this might be because I did it on day 5 rather than day 1-3-am hoping so or we will definitely struggle to have our 4 desired kids! Appt has been changed too, so no more visit on my bday-hurrah. Then I'll go and see our chinese medicine woman in sept, hopefully fully armed with all my test results.

That's it really, I am perfectly happy. I'm meant to O this Sunday but have a feeling it'll be a bit later again, temps all over the place this month... xxxx


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## Pino6161

Haribo--- I might have broke him :haha: but he was under a work truck and He sttod up to quickly and the corner or the bed caught him. It hit his bone, and left a really big bruise. He is feeling a bit better today, but we will see. Glad they are at least putting a move on your testing, but you will be able to enjoy your b-day. Hopefully you will get your BFP before tests while on AF. I know how gross that can be :shrug: but a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do. Many people would be surprised by the lengths us woman would go to get our children!!


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## SashimiMimi

I'm having a terrible time getting over this cold. I stayed home from work the past two days, forced myself to go today as I am majorly falling behind. I had a completely overwhelming day at work and as a result of all of this, my super optimistic gung-ho IVF mood has completely dissipated. 

I guess I was totally set on having a super healthy month before IVF and now it's off to a terrible start. I can't eat properly because it feels like shards of glass are going down my neck when I swallow anything. I'm still on the pill until Aug 9 and I'm pretty much nauseated 24/7. TMI, but I also throw up a bit every time I brush my teeth! So terrible cold, strep throat and BC pill are not helping me. 

Sorry for the long vent ladies, but I'm stressed beyond belief at work and am now questioning my IVF timing. I called my clinic today to see if they could ballpark exactly WHEN we would do the retrieval and transfer and no one called me back. I guess I'm just stressing because I just took 2 days off work and now I have to figure out how I'll explain I need to be off two separate times for the retrieval and transfer... I think I might say I have a pre-op appointment and then I go back a few days later for the actual medical procedure. I just can't give them an exact date which is frustrating, as only my HR person knows the real reason I will be off. Sigh!

I have a massive migraine and keep clenching my teeth! So now all my teeth feel like they are going to fall out! Okay, end of vent!!! I needed to pull the "poor me" act on someone and this board is the only place that will tolerate my antics!! ;) 

Haribo, good luck with the next round of fertility appointments. Better to recheck and get proper answers!


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## lxb

pino - longer cycles are frustrating! perhaps there will be a no-show for AF this cycle and you'll get your 50shades baby!! I'm rooting for that bd-streak bean!

haribo - are you SURE you want to marry me?? You can't take back your words!! :haha: :happydance: it's true.. it IS august already! Do you chart your temp? Do you have a link to your temp?? I know for a fact we have some chart stalkers here! Drives me crazy that you temp and I dont get to see it! :haha: perhaps there's a chance you get your BFP this cycle?? 

sashimi - dear~~ :hugs: sucks to be stuck with a cold at a time like this. could it be a side effect from the medication? vent away~ we're always here to listen!

i've been looking at campfire food! and it's making me hungry! Looking forward to camping this weekend!

Entree! https://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Campfire-Foil-Packs/Detail.aspx
Dessert! https://allrecipes.com/recipe/campfire-banana-splits/Detail.aspx


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## SashimiMimi

Lxb, I will be doing the campfire banana split on my BBQ. Now THAT kind of dessert can cure anything! 

I heard back from the clinic and they said they would work around OH being away on Aug 22, either doing it before or after... Ughh!!! I only did this because I thought it would be last week of August!! Oh well, just got to go with the flow and if I respond too well to the meds and the whole thing gets done earlier than I thought, then it was meant to be!


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## lauren26

Hey y'all!

lxb - It's a deal--I will BD for you and country will do some crazy BDing for me!! LOL. I have made foil dinners camping and they are delish! I also made french toast once in a pan over a fire--it was amazing!

Sashimi - I wrote you this already but I'm so sorry you feel like garbage!! I am right there with you today and feeling rotten during a crazy time at work can just make a girl feel like the world is unkind! I also started getting a migraine at work and think it's from clenching--even when I realize I'm doing it I can't seem to relax my jaw! Can you stay home tomorrow??

country - I LOLed at what you said--and if this plan works that will be my birthing schedule!!! LOL. The Letrazole will help me ovulate more eggs--2 or 3 instead of 1--and also suppresses estrogen, which is good for me because estrogen feeds endo. Doctor said that there is a very small risk of multiples and that the Letrazole tends to work really well. AND I'm glad you're not leaving us!!! You are so wonderful and I hope our little thread stays together until you're TTCing #2!

Pino - Those long cycles sound like the pits!!! I am glad that you'll see a new doc and hopefully they can offer some insight and possibly get your cycles down to a more reasonable length! 

haribo - I am sorry you have to do all the tests again but I'm glad you'll have your birthday free for proper birthday stuff!! We want 4 kids, too!! I don't know if we'll get them, but we want them :)

There was so much more I wanted to respond to but I'm really lacking brain space right now and I forgot. My day at work was absolutely miserable and I can't remember a time when I felt so overworked and maxed out--it's just awful timing!! I feel like I can't take the proper amount of time off of work right now but I think my body is going to force me to if I'm not careful. I may just make it a half day tomorrow. My PIL asked OH and I up to their new cabin this weekend (we missed last weekend's family trip there due to the surgery) and I'm dying to go but I feel like I need to lay flat on the couch for another entire weekend.


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## lauren26

PS Even though I have the bombs away to BD I haven't been charting this month and don't know when/if I'll even ovulate....I am def. not expecting an August BFP!


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## preg_pilot

countrygirl - yep, I managed to convince OH that it was better to know than not. He wanted to wait until the moment of birth to know. 
I told him, as I´m travelling to USA this summer, and baby clothes are so much cheaper there than here, I would like to use the chance to splurge a bit there. 
He saw the sense in that :happydance:

Sash - I hear ya on the cold, I hope you get better soon. :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Hey ladies! I've been out of commission the past two days since those muscle relaxants have really knocked me out. They definitely are working and my neck feels significantly better - mainly just a bit sore and stiff now. Now we're just sitting in sweltering heat because our AC is broken! The buffoons that came to fix it today didn't fix it and I'm sitting in the dark trying to watch the Olympics and stay cool. 

Lauren - I am SO excited for you to start trying and to be popping babies out left and right! I feel like there's a sense of renewed hope after your surgery.

Sashimi - :hugs: So sorry you're feeling so terrible. It's hard to feel positive about things when you are feeling so sick! Don't be too hard on yourself about the diet. I'm sure once you get over this cold you will be right on track. 

Pino - Darn those long cycles! We wait enough don't we?? 

Lxb - Glad to hear the D&C is over. I can't wait for you to start TTC'ing again girl!! Umm and that food looks good! Making me hungry over here lol. 

Preg - Loving those bean pictures!!! 

Treasured - I hope you get that job. It sounds so rewarding and like you would be really happy in it. Yay for all of us getting new jobs lol. 

Haribo - I'm totally obsessed with the Olympics! So jealous you were able to go to some events. Did you have fun?? 

Okay I'm exhausted - I hope I didn't forget anyone!! I'll try to check back in tomorrow.


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## RCAFWife

Haribo -- how long has your DH been taking zinc? Mine has taken it for almost 2.5 months but we haven't been to a doc since then to have another SA done. Mind you, I don't want to put him through another one of those :| 

Country -- On this site, people use the Soft Cups for dtd while ttc, but the box says it's supposed to be for use during periods...I honestly wouldn't use it for that because that seems like a whole lot of mess and trouble when you can just use a pad LOL, but that's just me. I'll just use 'em for holding back the sperm :)

Congrats on your lemon, preg pilot! What amazing u/s photos <3

Thanks for the info on the sperm count remedies. I'll check out that website!


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## Pino6161

SashimiMimi--- Sorry you have not been feeling well :hugs: Make sure you get some rest, and don&#8217;t overdue it. :hugs:
Lxb--- mmmm that food looks good!! I am jealous!! Where are you going camping?? My family goes to Show Low every summer, and I love it!!

Lauren--- You also need to take it easy! You don&#8217;t want to scare the BFP&#8217;s away. As for not charting, maybe it will all surprise you and you will get the BFP w/out all the nity grity.

Preg_Pilot--- I wouldn&#8217;t be able to wait until the birth either!! To much shopping. Besides I think yellow is an ugly color :haha:

SleepyOwl--- It sucks about the AC. I feel your pain. Ours went out last week, and they just fixed it 3 days ago. Makes you wonder what people did before AC :shrug:

So there is nothing really to report here. Things are just about the same, except we ran out of propane. It seems like we are spending money left and right. It&#8217;s on stuff we need, but still. TTC wise I have an issue taking my BBT. I keep dozing off with the thermometer up my hoohaa. :haha: But I guess I am at least temping LOL. So later I guess I am taking my MIL to the store. It really makes me mad cause she expects me to jump up and do what she needs. It&#8217;s BS. I am so ready to move!!


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## Pino6161

Ok so random question for all of you. BFP's or not. Me and OH have talked about after our "mythical" baby is here. I want to breastfeed no matter what. OH thought it was a bit weird, but that's cause none of his family has done it. Thinking back, my mom didn't either she partially expressed at first, and then switched to formula. So I was thinking that they might react badly as the are VERY conservative. His family I don't see having much an issue with, but I do see it coming up with mine. I know I will express a bottle a day, just so OH can bond as well, and be able to feed it. IDK I know I totally over think all of this, especially cause I have not gotten my BFP yet :blush:

Anyways. What are your thoughts?


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## lxb

sleepy - glad you're feeling so much better. rest well :)

lauren & sashimi - how are you both feeling today?

pino - i'm all for breastfeeding as well. it's good for the baby and it's good for you too. regardless of what your family thinks... do what's best for you and your baby. and certainly express a bottle for oh for bonding. another bonus... baby's poop doesn't stink with breastmilk! :haha:


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## lauren26

Feeling much better, lxb, after getting 11 hours of sleep!! I think I need to do absolutely nothing again this weekend (except BD....), but I am feeling less stressed so far today. :)

Pino, It's so funny that the people around you are so conservative with breastfeeding because where I live it's totally unheard of to NOT breastfeed, and almost every woman I know who's had a baby in the past 10 years has had a completely natural birth--a lot of home births, too! I will absolutely breast feed, though I'm also 98% sure I'll get an epidural and have a hospital birth! I think you just need to do what feels right for YOU. Lxb is right, though--breastfeeding is supposed to be really great for baby and also helps your uterus shrink back up, helps you lose the extra weight from pregnancy, and also provides a whole host of other benefits for you and your baby. On that note, I know that there are all kinds of arguments for natural birth vs. epidural, but in the end I feel like putting myself through the stress and pain would outweigh the benefits of natural. OK! You probably didn't want or need to know all of that, lol. Hope you have a great Friday.


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## lxb

lauren - I think i'll be doing hospital birth too! Still not sure if I'll be having epidural or not (I guess we shall see!)

*OT-vent:*
I think a friend of mine is preggo. I had a feeling that she is preggo when I saw her last week. But I didn't ask her (because I would hate for someone to ask me if i'm not or am not ready to tell). Lately, she has been posting things like.. "woken up by hunger"... or "I.want.to.drink.coffee". And her friends commented that she shouldn't drink coffee etc. And that she couldn't afford to be hungry. I guess we weren't as close as I thought~ Didn't feel so good knowing.. but not knowing. /end of vent


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## treasured

pino- im deffinately all for breast feeding! although I have tiny boobs so dunno if they would make much lmao! but yeah I think theres no better bond between your baby I dont care if it leaves them a little droopy! that is strange that they would have a problem with it! my family have all breastfed so I guess its just normal...

lxb- i totally know what you mean about preggo friends! i had no idea either of my friends were but when they told me my heart sunk every single time. not just because neither of them planned or wanted it but because it is supposed to be my time... being bitter and jealous is just natural for me now... haha. was she trying/in a stable relationship?

sooo I am really excited today cause I got my first proper bfp on my opks :D and its only CD13!! so glad im Oing early, hopefully I will see a temp rise soon to show I have O'd. we have BD today and two days ago when I had EWCM and plan to for the next few days just incase :) O has seemed to come round really quick this month for some reason! hopefully this will have incresaed my LP too woohoo. heres a pic of my OPK so you can clarify that it is positive for me :) ignore the '12' im actually CD13 got a bit mixed up... :happydance:
 



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## lxb

treasured - yeah.. she's in a stable relationship and is trying. I'm very happy for her~ I think I'm just feeling a little upset as her other friends know and she didn't tell me. And I thought we have a pretty close friendship. O well~ I will be okay with it~ :thumbup:

yay for +OPK! Time to jump on your OH! :wohoo:


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## RCAFWife

I'm a fan of breastfeeding too. The thought of it still weirds me out, especially the latching part (I've heard it hurts like hell) but I'd still do it anyway. I've already looked at breast pumps and storage containers lol. I would want my DH to feed our baby too, 'cause bonding is very important, especially if he's going to be helping out. I've had two friends who both had babies close together; one was breastfed and the other formula fed. The breast fed one got sick once in about 14 months, while the formula fed one was sick regularly. I know it's just two babies, but that was enough to convince me ;) But it'll all depend on the baby in the end, because one lady i know was all set to breast feed, but her baby didn't latch at all, and then she got mastitis that sent her to the hospital for minor surgery! Yikes!


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> Ok so random question for all of you. BFP's or not. Me and OH have talked about after our "mythical" baby is here. I want to breastfeed no matter what. OH thought it was a bit weird, but that's cause none of his family has done it. Thinking back, my mom didn't either she partially expressed at first, and then switched to formula. So I was thinking that they might react badly as the are VERY conservative. His family I don't see having much an issue with, but I do see it coming up with mine. I know I will express a bottle a day, just so OH can bond as well, and be able to feed it. IDK I know I totally over think all of this, especially cause I have not gotten my BFP yet :blush:
> 
> Anyways. What are your thoughts?

I´ll definitely be breastfeeding. At least for the first 3 months, then I´m going back to work, and will probably need to express for OH feed after that (breastfeeding when I´m at home).
For the first 6 months, breastmilk is very beneficial for the baby. (got all the vitamins, fat and nutrients it needs).



treasured said:


> pino- im deffinately all for breast feeding! although I have tiny boobs so dunno if they would make much lmao! but yeah I think theres no better bond between your baby I dont care if it leaves them a little droopy! that is strange that they would have a problem with it! my family have all breastfed so I guess its just normal...
> 
> lxb- i totally know what you mean about preggo friends! i had no idea either of my friends were but when they told me my heart sunk every single time. not just because neither of them planned or wanted it but because it is supposed to be my time... being bitter and jealous is just natural for me now... haha. was she trying/in a stable relationship?
> 
> sooo I am really excited today cause I got my first proper bfp on my opks :D and its only CD13!! so glad im Oing early, hopefully I will see a temp rise soon to show I have O'd. we have BD today and two days ago when I had EWCM and plan to for the next few days just incase :) O has seemed to come round really quick this month for some reason! hopefully this will have incresaed my LP too woohoo. heres a pic of my OPK so you can clarify that it is positive for me :) ignore the '12' im actually CD13 got a bit mixed up... :happydance:

I don´t think you need to worry about tiny boobs :)
My mom was a cup size A before pregnancy, but by the end she was up to DD´s... they shrunk back down to size B afterwards.


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## treasured

preg- LOL at your mums extreme boob change, i would love that! unless they end up at my knees haha! its a good idea for OH to get some of the responsiblity! thats really quick to go back to work you are one determined woman! :D will you be doing long days and traveling as much as you are just now? 

soo im quite chuffed today cause I think I have had a big ovulation dip! if anyone could havea look at my chart? the only thing is that I took my temp an hour before I usually do, would that make that much difference? its quite a big dip! soo happy its only day 14 :O and my opk is lighter today so I assume my O happened yesterday or today as im getting funny twinges :) x


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## treasured

lxb- ohh well atleast that is one good thing that she was trying.. but still no easier for you especially after what youve been through :(. yeahh i guess all you can do is support her to the most you feel comfortable, but put yourself first! i couldnt bare to go with my friend to her scan so its ok to put your own feelings first! hope you are feeling okay :hugs:


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## preg_pilot

treasured said:


> preg- LOL at your mums extreme boob change, i would love that! unless they end up at my knees haha! its a good idea for OH to get some of the responsiblity! thats really quick to go back to work you are one determined woman! :D will you be doing long days and traveling as much as you are just now?
> 
> soo im quite chuffed today cause I think I have had a big ovulation dip! if anyone could havea look at my chart? the only thing is that I took my temp an hour before I usually do, would that make that much difference? its quite a big dip! soo happy its only day 14 :O and my opk is lighter today so I assume my O happened yesterday or today as im getting funny twinges :) x

Yep, I´ll be going back to full time work in May next year.
My OH will be working from home for the first few months. That was always the plan when we would become parents. (I provide the higher income - at least for now).
As for boobs to the knees... for my mum, not so much ;)


----------



## Pino6161

Preg-Pilot--- YOu made me laugh at your mom's boobs LOL. The only issue I have is I already have the DD's :haha:

Treasured--- I have trouble waking up at the same time so I use the bbt adjuster,and it is pretty accurate. https://www.whenmybaby.com/basalbodytemperature.php. So let's say your temp was 96.98 and you took it at 5AM rather than 6. When you put it in the adjuster it says that if you would have taken it an hour later it would have been 97.18.


----------



## lauren26

lxb - I meant to say before that I'm so sorry your friend didn't let you in on her pregnancy! I would feel hurt, too. Does she know about your mc? I was wondering if that was why she didn't tell you, but it sounded like you hadn't told people you were pregnant. 

treasured - It looks to me like you're Oing today! The LH surge means you will O within the next 12-48 hours or something wacky (I think it's within the next 24 personally), so you are probably Oing right now! 

Pino - I see you and OH broke the streak! That must be a relief, girl!! LOL. We BDed every day for 14 days one cycle and I had had ENOUGH. 

Afm, still feeling exhausted and recovering. I can't believe it takes so long! I guess with the amount of work my doctor did it makes sense. And it hasn't been two weeks yet. I plan to do a lot of nothing this weekend, lol. Also, I happened to do an OPK yesterday and it was near +, so I did another today and it was +. I guess my body waited to O! I can't BD yet even though I have the go-ahead because (big TMI alert!!) my doc did a hymenectomy on me when I was under. I had a septate hymen, which is when the hymen breaks in more than one place and there is a little skin left that can obstruct certain objects :blush: so she removed it. It's still a healing where she removed the skin, so OH wanted to use the sperm in Soft Cup technique. All of this is SO TMI and I can't even believe I'm writing it!! Anyway, we tried that yesterday and might again today. I don't have big hopes for this month because after a D&C they say you will get a weird period 2-4 weeks after the procedure, so I think my lining is probably not quite normal this month and it might be hard for the eggie to implant. Still, worth a shot and it'll be an interesting little experiment! 

I hope everyone else's weekend is going well.


----------



## treasured

preg- thats such an amazing decision to make! like to see that not everyone is in the traditional mum stays at home frame of mind. Reminds me of Lynette from desperate housewives haha! 

pino- thank you for that link!! although I had read somewhere (maybe FF) that adjusting isnt always accurate cause some peoples temp doesnt really change that much? I will keep both temps though just to compare :) how are you doing? god that is a LOT of BDing haha! me and OH have literally managed 3 times this fertile period, we suck! 

lauren- yeahh, thats what I was thinking, although yesterday morning I got a less strong line.. so would that not mean the LH surge had gone down? its really confusing haha! I personally love TMI haha, that is a good little experiement and atleast you are getting some in there to try :D 

So im a bit confused again (sorry for going on about my chart constantly ladies) I thought that after you O your temp rises significantly? but if my OPK meant I Od 2 days ago or yesterday would my temp not have gone up by now? or can it sometimes take an extra day? 

:) thanks gals. Where is everyone else!? come back ladies :) xxxx


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## lauren26

Treasured - your temp is definitely up enough to signify that you've already Oed. After 3 days of higher temps FF will give you cross hairs and I bet it will say that you Oed yesterday. After O my temp rises slowly for a day or two and then maxes around 7-9dpo. You can look at some charts in the chart gallery to see how people's temps go up after O. Your chart looks great to me so far! :)


----------



## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> Preg-Pilot--- YOu made me laugh at your mom's boobs LOL. The only issue I have is I already have the DD's :haha:
> 
> Treasured--- I have trouble waking up at the same time so I use the bbt adjuster,and it is pretty accurate. https://www.whenmybaby.com/basalbodytemperature.php. So let's say your temp was 96.98 and you took it at 5AM rather than 6. When you put it in the adjuster it says that if you would have taken it an hour later it would have been 97.18.

Hehe. I actually started this pregnancy with DD´s... probably up to an E or F now. Not sure. I´m wearing a super comfortable maternity bra these days, that doesn´t exactly have a cup size number.


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## lauren26

Treasured - I am thinking that the reason there is still a pretty strong but not dark line the day after a +OPK is just that LH is processed in the body at a certain time of day and so depending on what time of day you had your surge there may have just been some residual LH in your pee, but the darkest + is the surge day, and so the day of or day after is usually when ovulation happens, at least for me. I sometimes get a pretty dang close to + line and then a way darker line the next day, like darker than the control, so I count the darker line day as the official surge, and usually the day after I get a temp spike. It's hard to exactly pinpoint O because of the whole 12-48 hour window, but my CM usually dries up quickly after too. I think that BDing 3 times during that fertile, + test window is plenty! Fx for you.


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- We def. had a break w/ the BDing for a day, but OH was set on making up for it yesterday :haha:. I think he has been getting a kick out of all of the sex.

So nothing has really changed w/ me. Yesterday me and OH played volleyball w/ the in-laws and nephew and even w/ bug spray we all got eaten pretty badly by mosquitoes. We decided to get the water proof one before playing again.

Also for the last 2 days I have had an abundance of creamy cum. I usually have a lot, but this time is more than normal to the point that even OH noticed. He thought there was something wrong w. his cum after sex :haha:

Other than that is has been a very anti climatic weekend. Hope everyone else is having fun!! :hugs:


----------



## treasured

lauren- yeahhh I think I understand about the LH surge now haha! Im actually starting to study a course in human biology from home that will hopefully get me into midwifey one day :) i skipped to the reproduction part of my textbook of course so ill be a genius soon! it actually says in the book that the average day for ovulation is CD16 :O. thats a change from every where online! How are you? hope your not working too hard! did you try the soft cup idea again? 

pino- that sounds soo much fun, I used to be on the school volley ball team wayyy back in the day haha. How does your DH manage it? he needs to give my OH some advice on getting horny, I think mines forgotten hah! So by the look of your chart AF is due soon? It could be a good sign that you are getting a lot of CM rather than the witch right? cause ive read a lot of posts that people thought they were getting AF but it turned out to be just a lot of CM .


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## lxb

preg - :haha: at your mom's bbs story! A ==> DD, WOW! One of my cousin is a DD before her pregnancy.. and she was having a hard time with her BBs during her pregnancy~ Sometimes when the belly gets bigger, you would need a little hand you when you toss and turn. But she was lifting her bbs when she toss and turn~ Sounded painful~ hope that's not your case hun :hugs:

treasured - dont think anyone would appreciate boobs down to the knee! That would be painful eh? Hmm.. looks like u Oed on CD14? how are you feeling?

lauren - nope. she doesn't know about my mc, which is why it was a bit upsetting. But i'm okay with it. It is afterall, she has the right to tell whomever she wants~ how are you feelign today?

pino - oh dear~ makeup bd! hv fun~~!! I'm terrible at volleyball! I'm only good with rackets (like tennis/badminton). I would ended up slapping the ball & hurt my hand with volleyball! :haha: But i LOVE watching it though~ Been watching beach volleyball for olympics too!


afm, had a relaxing camping trip over the weekend! It's so nice being able to wear a jacket in the middle of august while gathering around the campfire! plus! it's always a bonus when MIL is nowhere in sight! :haha:

We met up with two friends (more like family friends as they both were ~25+ years older than we are!) as one of them is a volunteered camphost! we did a camping trip with them last year too at around the same time. good food... good people.. good family game time ... good time! he had a razor that you can take to go up to different trails for scenic views.. i did that last year~ But decided not to do that this time as I just had my D&C... and need to give my uterus some quiet/undisturbed time because razor ride would just be way too bumpy!

they found it a little strange that dh & i didn't want to go for a razor ride. And so later, we've decided to tell them about my d&c. and she made me cry by just simply hugging me~ :cry:

hehe.. but yeah... definitely a nice little getaway from reality and just hang out while surround by nature~ Just love the smell of campfire... pine trees... and the rain~!!

how's the other crazy ladies~~~ :hugs: how are you girls' weekends?


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## preg_pilot

lxb said:


> preg - :haha: at your mom's bbs story! A ==> DD, WOW! One of my cousin is a DD before her pregnancy.. and she was having a hard time with her BBs during her pregnancy~ Sometimes when the belly gets bigger, you would need a little hand you when you toss and turn. But she was lifting her bbs when she toss and turn~ Sounded painful~ hope that's not your case hun :hugs:
> 
> treasured - dont think anyone would appreciate boobs down to the knee! That would be painful eh? Hmm.. looks like u Oed on CD14? how are you feeling?
> 
> lauren - nope. she doesn't know about my mc, which is why it was a bit upsetting. But i'm okay with it. It is afterall, she has the right to tell whomever she wants~ how are you feelign today?
> 
> pino - oh dear~ makeup bd! hv fun~~!! I'm terrible at volleyball! I'm only good with rackets (like tennis/badminton). I would ended up slapping the ball & hurt my hand with volleyball! :haha: But i LOVE watching it though~ Been watching beach volleyball for olympics too!
> 
> 
> afm, had a relaxing camping trip over the weekend! It's so nice being able to wear a jacket in the middle of august while gathering around the campfire! plus! it's always a bonus when MIL is nowhere in sight! :haha:
> 
> We met up with two friends (more like family friends as they both were ~25+ years older than we are!) as one of them is a volunteered camphost! we did a camping trip with them last year too at around the same time. good food... good people.. good family game time ... good time! he had a razor that you can take to go up to different trails for scenic views.. i did that last year~ But decided not to do that this time as I just had my D&C... and need to give my uterus some quiet/undisturbed time because razor ride would just be way too bumpy!
> 
> they found it a little strange that dh & i didn't want to go for a razor ride. And so later, we've decided to tell them about my d&c. and she made me cry by just simply hugging me~ :cry:
> 
> hehe.. but yeah... definitely a nice little getaway from reality and just hang out while surround by nature~ Just love the smell of campfire... pine trees... and the rain~!!
> 
> how's the other crazy ladies~~~ :hugs: how are you girls' weekends?

yep, that is indeed my case. My bb´s started aching at about 5-6 weeks, and have been like that since then. They´re definitely more in the way then my bump, though that seems to be changing fast. My belly is popping these days. I see a daily difference now.

And lxb - here´s another hug for ya :hugs:


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- I'm not sure how OH manages his sex drive. Honestly having sex a lot is not weird for us. We have always been very active :blush: For about a month we weren't having sex as much. The problem with that is I have self esteem issues and I felt like he didn't want me. It was nothing, but I went and I bought some lingerie and we changed things up a bit. I also try to be on top as often as possible. Or in my case half and half cause my knees don't like it, and my hip likes to pop. Although we have sex a lot I have noticed that after I ovulate my sex drive goes away. I don't want him to play with my breasts, I don't want to make out. Just in and out if you know what I mean, and OH gets very frustrated..... Anyways the best advice is take the initiative, and you initiate things. Change things up, and spice them up. I know that all the places say no oral sex, but I do anyways, as that is my OH's biggest motivation(I do not like receiving oral at all) :blush:

lxb--- I am n0t very good at volleyball either, but it's fun w/ all the family.... Sometimes just a hug can bring a bit of relief. It had to have felt a little better to get it out though. :hugs:.... When you said no MIL I laughed LOL. Let's try to keep that witch at a distance!! :haha:

So my temp was slightly lower again today :shrug: but still above the cover line. I am 8 DPO and I suspect AF will arrive by Saturday.

Hopefully everyone else had a great weekend :hugs:


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## lauren26

Boo. Insomnia for me tonight. One of those nights where I was on the verge of sleep a bunch of times and something kept waking me up so now I'm starting to sleep really lightly but can't really sink in :( thinking about downloading the sleep app Sashimi told me about!


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## Pino6161

Hey everyone!! I really want to POAS but I'm to nervous about it being negative. I am not to positive LOL. Other than that everything is the same. I still have a huge amount of creamy cum and my right nipple seems to be really itchy for about 3 days, but when I itch it it is uncomfortable. OH is getting bad cause I won't even let him touch it :haha:

Other than that it is just a normal day for me. I cleaned my house spotless yesterday, so I think it is about time I get back to my crocheting :shrug:


The thread has been kind a quiet lately. Hopefully everyone is ok, and not just boycotting me :haha:

:hugs:


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## lauren26

Test!!! It's a little early, so if you get a BFN it doesn't count ;)


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## lxb

lauren - BOO insomnia! Hope that sleep app will help? Make sure to avoid caffeine~ Or maybe drink some warm milk before bedtime might help? I read that doing some yoga stretches & deep breaths could help too~ 

pino - test!!! Like lauren said... if it's BFN.. it's too early! :hugs: If it's BFP... then we can start the celebration NOW! :happydance:


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> Treasured--- I'm not sure how OH manages his sex drive. Honestly having sex a lot is not weird for us. We have always been very active :blush: For about a month we weren't having sex as much. The problem with that is I have self esteem issues and I felt like he didn't want me. It was nothing, but I went and I bought some lingerie and we changed things up a bit. I also try to be on top as often as possible. Or in my case half and half cause my knees don't like it, and my hip likes to pop. Although we have sex a lot I have noticed that after I ovulate my sex drive goes away. I don't want him to play with my breasts, I don't want to make out. Just in and out if you know what I mean, and OH gets very frustrated..... Anyways the best advice is take the initiative, and you initiate things. Change things up, and spice them up. I know that all the places say no oral sex, but I do anyways, as that is my OH's biggest motivation(I do not like receiving oral at all) :blush:
> 
> lxb--- I am n0t very good at volleyball either, but it's fun w/ all the family.... Sometimes just a hug can bring a bit of relief. It had to have felt a little better to get it out though. :hugs:.... When you said no MIL I laughed LOL. Let's try to keep that witch at a distance!! :haha:
> 
> So my temp was slightly lower again today :shrug: but still above the cover line. I am 8 DPO and I suspect AF will arrive by Saturday.
> 
> Hopefully everyone else had a great weekend :hugs:

I hear ya on the oral sex ;) :blush:
My bump has popped (a bit too soon in my opinion, but what can ya do?) :)

Fingers crossed for a BFP for you. :dust:



lauren26 said:


> Boo. Insomnia for me tonight. One of those nights where I was on the verge of sleep a bunch of times and something kept waking me up so now I'm starting to sleep really lightly but can't really sink in :( thinking about downloading the sleep app Sashimi told me about!

I used to have that problem, but I learned yoga relaxation techniques, and now I fall asleep within 5 minutes after laying down.
Those include relaxing each muscle (counting down every toe and finger), counting my breaths, and if I have any trouble at all, I tense all my muscles (even my facial ones) for about 10-20 seconds, and then relax completely. Works every time.


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## treasured

lauren- sorry about your lack of sleep :( i HATE when i cant sleep it is the worst feeling.... what was the sleep app? ive never heard of it :) 

pino- woooohoooo first tester hehe! i am in fear of testing before AF though not gonna do it this month... I say that... haha. but it does sound promising with all that CM!

preg- sooo excited for your bump! have you put pics on your journal? im gonna look but iff not get some on here!!! 

I was excited today to see my crosshairs haha! Lauren you were deffinately right about CD14 and Im so happy that I actually O'd so thats one thing to check off the list of what could be wrong, I woke up early this morning for my intereveiw (which I think went well) so used the temp adjuster that Pino showed me so it may be a bit off but Im pretty sure it would be quite high judging by my previous temps.... so yay!

how is everyone ? xxxx


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## Pino6161

:bfn: I'm feeling ok about it thought. I will be on later :hugs:


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## lauren26

@ Pino - too early!! :) :hugs:


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## lxb

^^WSS!!


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## preg_pilot

treasured said:


> lauren- sorry about your lack of sleep :( i HATE when i cant sleep it is the worst feeling.... what was the sleep app? ive never heard of it :)
> 
> pino- woooohoooo first tester hehe! i am in fear of testing before AF though not gonna do it this month... I say that... haha. but it does sound promising with all that CM!
> 
> preg- sooo excited for your bump! have you put pics on your journal? im gonna look but iff not get some on here!!!
> 
> I was excited today to see my crosshairs haha! Lauren you were deffinately right about CD14 and Im so happy that I actually O'd so thats one thing to check off the list of what could be wrong, I woke up early this morning for my intereveiw (which I think went well) so used the temp adjuster that Pino showed me so it may be a bit off but Im pretty sure it would be quite high judging by my previous temps.... so yay!
> 
> how is everyone ? xxxx

Nope - no pictures yet.
Haven´t found the time to take one actually, as I´m working like a nutter since I noticed how big my bump had actually gotten.
Maybe I´ll take the picture this weekend, if not, I won´t be taking it until about the 20th (if I forget my camera at home).


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- I am so jealous of how high your temp goes LOL!!

Preg_Pilot--- Some people just pop sooner than others, especially if you have a bigger body build like me. Make sure we get some pics before you are 9 months though :haha:

Lauren--- I hope you slept a bit better last night, as it was my turn to sleep like crap LOL

So I'm feeling extremely tired today. Last night I had a bad migraine so my MIL sent us some food so I didn't have to cook. So we ate and I go back into the kitchen to clean up, and there are ants all over my kitchen counters. I was pissed. So we went to my MIL's to get some bug spray and the sun was so bright, I thought my head was going to explode!! I got rid of them all, but the fumes from the spray hurt my head even more (I thought that wasn't possible). I fell asleep late cause I just couldn't get comfortable. :shrug:

I notice that I usually get a migraine or two every month, after I O. That is one symptom I could go with out.

So as I said the test was a BFN, and you are all right. I know it is to early, but it is still frustrating. I am going to hold off on taking another until Saturday, which is around the time AF is supposed to show.

If she does show, I will be drinking it up on my birthday LOL which is Tuesday. If she doesn't show I will have a b-day present LOL.

So I don't know if I told you guys that my OH has an appt. to get his fingerprints done on Monday. After that we will get his temporary work visa with in 90 days :dance:

Hopefully everyone is doing well as well :hugs:


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## treasured

lolol pino is that really high? i have no idea what its supposed to be hahaa! I woke up a few times for a minute before taking this mornings so that could have made it a bit higher! deffinately going to set my alarm for eearlier in future cycles cause I always get woken up before 10! dont be put off by the BFN although I know how horrid it is :( thats why im going to try not to test before AF. I also get headaches just before AF i think :\ its really annoying. I also get really choked up around ovulation like a cold is coming on. unneccessary symtoms !! 

Im doing fine today, have my the girl that I support here at my house tonight we have been baking cakes and woopie pies and enjoying the sun! Imjust making tea for us now before taking her home :) I love my job :( shame im going to have to leave it! 

x


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- for you those temps are probably normal, compared to mine though they are high if that makes sense. Just proof every person's body is different. You baking is making me hungry :haha:


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## treasured

To be honest I think they are really high because of the time I take them, cause ive woken up at 8 and tested before and they are lower, but obviously they would all be lower! Next cycle when I chart they will probs be lower! I thought high temps might mean high progesterone but I dont thibk it does :( x


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## Pino6161

Look at it this way. When I take mine at 6am in will be 97.? but at 9am it's 98.?. So yes the later you take it the higher it gets. My body generally has a lower temp cause I sleep with a fan blowing on me.

As long as you are taking them at the same time, or at least using the adjuster you don't have to worry about it. :hugs:


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## lauren26

!!! At work and secretly posting but I just found out that my friend, O'Nell, created the Beautiful Cervix website. That is nuts and I feel really proud of her! It's such a well known and widespread site! Anyway.


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- wow!!! I love that website LOL so informative, and great!!! How did you find out??


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## preg_pilot

pino - yep, I'll be posting pictures within the next 2 weeks, depending on when I find my camera again. ;)


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## SleepyOwl

I'm back! Really I was just too hot and lazy to sign on since our AC has forsaken us. 

Treasured - Yay for your crosshairs!! Isn't it so nice to know exactly when you O'd and that you made your best effort to make your mini-me?? Excited for ya! 

Pino - Boo to the BFN but it is super early. AF better not show or else!! That is terrible about the migraine and the ants! Ant spray makes me want to vomit!! Are you feeling any better? 

Preg - I wanna see a bump pic girl!! 

Lxb - 

Lauren - How nuts about that site!! Were you staring at her cervix pics and she walked up behind you?? Because that's totally how I picture it, lol!! Sorry about the insomnia. You can take my muscle relaxants and sleep for like 14 hours straight if you want. I feel like those turned me into a sloth! Are you feeling better recovery-wise? Has the BD'ing begun?

Lxb - Glad your camping trip went well!

Sashimi, Haribo - How are you two ladies doing??

I've totally abandoned my usual TTC methods this cycle because there is just way too much going on. Between my neck, starting my new job next Monday and my super high temps due to lack of air conditioning, I just have to do the bare minimum this time. No temping, no OPKs - just relying on my CM and trying to get some BDs in. I'm thinking tomorrow is O day though. We BD'd last night pretty late and I'm just too tired to go again tonight. Hopefully I've covered enough days to even have a chance this cycle. 

I have my doc's appt on the 29th and was planning on moving it up, but I think I'll just leave it then since I start work on the 13th. I'm feeling awkward about having to take off so soon, so hopefully the 29th won't be an issue. OH is super scared about scheduling his SA. I keep trying to gently coax him, but he is really freaked out about it. For those of you whose hubbies had one done, did you have that issue?


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## lauren26

Pino - she posted on FB that her fundraising campaign for the site was a success and I was like !!!! That's your site?? And she said it was. She was a doula when she lived in Boulder and I think she is a midwife now and has her own baby.


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## SleepyOwl

Hmm, so it didn't go down at all how I imagined? Lol!


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## lauren26

Sleepy - we posted at the same time!! No it didn't happen like that :) I am feeling MUCH better otherwise. Still not totally back to normal but my body feels much better and I har normal abundant cm!! That is the most exciting part, lol! I wish I could take those muscle relaxants! We BDed once and it exhausted me. That was last week. With AF and surgery we've had quite a dry spell and for the first time since TTC I am sexually frustrated!


----------



## SleepyOwl

Oh man!! Sexually frustrated while TTC - that is something you don't hear often lol. I'm glad you're feeling better. Hopefully the post-BD exhaustion will clear out quickly! That's no good!


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## Pino6161

Sleepy--- Sorry about no AC that totally sucks!! At my OH's last job, our AC went out for 2 weeks. It's his boss's house so they had to fix it, plus our water went out. It was hell in this AZ heat. That is why he quite..... The good things about BDing is you can alwaysmake OH do all the work :haha: Hope you feel better!!

Lauren--- I like Sleepy's view on the situation a bit better :haha:.... How is your post op going??


I am waaayyy better today. still a crap load of creamy cum though LOL. I showed it to my OH on my finger and he just gave me a dirty look LOL. I then tryed mto get him to feel it cause it felt so thick, and he told me he didn't want to touch with his dirty fingers cause it might be a good sign. (it was on my finger) and then he gagged :haha: I love messing with my OH :rofl:


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## lauren26

LOL Pino. Mine has been really thick too but I think it's too early for me for it to be a sign and I'm just normalizing, which is rad and makes me excited! We don't have AC at all but it sounds like where you all live is much hotter!


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## Pino6161

I live outside of Tucson. It's hot, but because of irrigation in the area and rain it has been really humid as well which means a lot of mosquitoes LOL. It's horrible!! 

I think I get lots of cum as well, but not this much. I am trying not to over think things this month though. So I am just going to wait it through. If AF doesn't come I will test on Saturday, but I don't have that much hope :shrug:

So It turns out that Tuesday (my birthday will be the best ever. It turns out my SIL is leaving that day :dance: I will miss my niece, and nephew, but I am so ready for them to leave!!!

Well I am off for the night. OH and I have "plans" :blush:


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## treasured

sleepy - welcome back! im sure your BDIng last night will deffinately have you covered if your Oing tomorow! it never seems like we can do it enough eh! im loving being able to tell when I O'd and love that it was day 14 instead of 16 :D maybe me cycles are finally regulating after the implant? :\ 

lauren- that is actually amazing! how do you know her? I love sleepys image of her just being like "oh heyy lauren! ohh theres my cervix!" haha! so inspiring though I love that website!

pino- I have been getting that really thick CM too :S its like 'globby' kinda like egg white strechyness but really thick? weird! i also noticed my cervix felt extremely low last night, ive not really been checking it but it was noticiable like couldnt even get one whole finger in without touching it! sorry (tmi) haha! I do that to my OH too though he hates it! hoping that witch stays away from you :) i will be genuinly angry if you dont get your BFP after all that BDing ! 

x


----------



## preg_pilot

sleepy - yea, I forgot my camera, and won´t have access to that again for about 9-10 days. I´m gonna ask OH if his camera is working, if it is, I´ll be taking bump pictures on my 16 week date on saturday :)


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- I will be pissed as well cause it would have been just a waste of energy LOL.

My temp dropped today so I am kind of bummed out!


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## Pino6161

Well AF showed. I felt her coming, and she is here full blast!! I am pissed. Seriously I had sex everyday sometimes multiple times a day. What else am I supposed to do?? Not have sex at all and hope I am the next virgin mary?? I mean really! I am not even disappointed anymore I am just straight out MAD!! Sorry for the rant. I feel a bit better now LOL


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## lauren26

Pino - I have SO prayed for an immaculate conception before, LOL!! I'm sorry, though :hugs:. When is your appointment with the new doc?


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## Pino6161

We decided to hold off going to a new doc until after we move which isn't until March :shrug: So we are just going to do what we can, and relax. Since we don't have insurance right now we want to wait until after we move to get our finances in order.


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## haribo813

I'm sorry Pino, it's so hard when the horrid thing comes, especially when you've been trying so hard. I had that for a few months-we had sex every day in the fertile period but I felt a bit pressured and think OH was a bit weary by the end too as for us we don't normally BD quite that much so it became a little forced. I read in a book recently that once every 2 or 3 days gives you the best chance as the sperm is strongest and can last up to 5 days so you should always be in with a chance. Plus focussing on TTC can be bad-likewise best not to think of making babies when doing the deed....I can give out advice, I just can't take my own very well :)

Lxb I do chart but I don't put it online, is it easy to put online and link up? Think Treasured might have asked this some time back...

I have been ok this cycle but just the last few days I am feeling really teary quite often. It's weird, I may have ovulated today as temp up a bit (think I'm day 16) or it might be tomorrow but I think it's the news of 3 more pregnancies this week (including a friend the same age as me's 2nd) that has sent me over the edge. I am struggling to get a grip, even at work. I feel like I might just start crying there and then in the office. I am also dreading a family wedding this Sat where I'll meet 2 new babies and every cousin (pretty much all younger than me) has a baby or is expecting one. I know everyone will be seeing if I'm drinking which as I said to you girls, I'm not at the moment so I'll have to take a glass and just have a few swigs to keep rumours at bay. Nothing worse then people thinking you're pregnant when the truth is so different!

I'm probably a bit cranky as i'm applying for a job at the moment that i don't think i have much chance of getting and it's taking ages to do and is due on Monday, grrrr. I am also cranky as I really don't want to turn 31. I thought I'd be pregnant with my 2nd kid by this age and I really wish I could turn back the time.

Ok that's it, rant over, thank you for listening lovely ladies and I feel a bit better for it. Back to the job application...

xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Pino6161

haribo--- It is quite easy to chart online. Go to www.fertilityfriend.com that would be a start.... I know how stressful it can be with everyone around you getting pregnant. It seems like everyone around me has kids, or is pregnant. Just try to be strong we will oone day get our BFP :hugs:


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## haribo813

Thanks Pino. I'm starting to think that everyone else will but we won't. How to keep the faith? I feel like I'm going mad.

When I finally get round to putting my cycles online, you'll have them going back to April-lucky you eh?!

And who gets married during the Olympics?! Grrr, am leaving London for this bash! (I'll be back by the closing ceremony though, of course...)
xxxxxxxx


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## Pino6161

I know that it feels as if you will never get it. I think all of us TTC feel that way. I'm not sure how to keep the faith as I am still trying to figure that out :shrug:


----------



## RCAFWife

Sorry to hear about AF crashing the party D: I know how you feel Pino, wondering wtf else we're supposed to do if having regular sex isn't enough or working. Just the other day, DH showed me the fb page of some friends of ours who just announced the birth of their first child. We thought we'd be the ones to get pregnant first, and that news really frustrated me. I was like, "Fa real?!?! Are you kidding me?! Another one? How does this keep happening to us? People that have been together for less time are winding up pregs at the drop of a hat! What are we doing wrong??" I also couldn't really tell you how we TTCers keep the faith. I just honestly think us women were born with infinite hope; it never dies, as long as we live, even if we think it's not there, or try to suppress it 'cause it's "not rational"...blessing or a curse? Hmm...

I tried a soft cup last night after dtd, and about 6 hours later, I was woken from my sleep by some cramping, so I took the cup out. Not sure what that was about, but there WAS some semen in the cup so at least I caught some and had it held up to my cervix for a little while :D


----------



## treasured

Holla! Just a quick little message to say hello to everyone :) im also obsessing over temping haha but wish I had more cycles to compare to! 

Yesterday I went to see brave at the cinema (us Scots love anything Scottish haha!) it was amazing though, although I literally cried at everything! Couldn't stop myself haha! 

My mum's neighbour has just given birth so she dragged me round to visit and was to ecstatic for me to say no... I went but in no way was happy about it... She then threw a comment out on the way back 'Id love to see you pushing a pram' I dont even know how to react to these kind of comments so I just didn't say anything. I then went home and cried. Very teary this month haha! So low cervix tears and really sore boobs.. Who knows! 

Hope everyone is doing good its a bit quiet ib here for my liking!! X


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- =Sorry about your neighbor. I get the same remarks. It hurts, and what's worse is the other people don't even know. :hugs:

FX for you this month!! :hugs:


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## lauren26

Hey crazy lady thread! Just popping in to say hello! Soon enough (like 2 months) I'll have an office door to hide behind and can do more updating and BnBing at work! Lol. I woke up way early today and didn't temp until I'd been laying in bed over an hour awake, which I know you're not supposed to do, and my temp was low. This either means that I just shouldn't have temped or that my 'weird' AF that I'm supposed to get 2-4 weeks after lap is coming. I hope not!! I was soooo looking forward to a 6 week cycle with no AF! Lol. That said, I guess it would be fine to get on with the BDing and try to make this happen! I am feeling pretty scared of failing at getting pregnant within 6 months, but I am working on trusting that it will happen if it's meant to. I just know that we will try IVF if we don't get pg naturally and that will mean hecka money! So! Really praying for it and working very hard to stay strict with my diet, though it's very, very difficult, lol!! The endo diet is essentially vegan AND no gluten, soy, caffeine, sugar, and alcohol :wacko:. If I don't lose 20 lbs on that then someone's going to hear from me!!! Lol. I finally dragged myself to the mall today and did a marathon shopping spree for work clothes, which was fun and totally exhausting. I felt like I was getting soooo much stuff and really filling out my fall work wardrobe and when I got home and emptied out my heavy shopping bags there was a lot less than I thought, but I guess I can't buy a whole closet in one day! How is everyone's weekend?


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## treasured

pino- i know its so much worse that noone knows what your going through and how hurtful little comments like that can be! 

lauren- your diet sounds CRAZY i think I would go insane! no sugar :O :(. that makes me sad. but if it is going to help you get your bubz then it is worth it! I totally beleive you will get your BFP in 6 months :) 

Im a bit confused today, I probably didnt temp quite right but it seems like it is rapidly dropped :\. im only 7dpo at the moment and even when I had AF last time my temps were higher than now... surely I couldnt have been that much out if I temped a little earlier or anything? thanks girls :)


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## treasured

8dpo*


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## lauren26

Maybe it's a nice little implantation dip!! A lot things can affect the temp--temping at a different time, temping after less than 3 hours of sleep, drinking the night before, talking before you temp or getting up. I bet that it will go back up tomorrow! The important part for now is that you are still over the CL. AF temps are usually high, but the ones you want to stay higher than right now are the few pre-O below CL.


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## lauren26

PS are you going to test?


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## treasured

ohhh who knows! apparently they dont neccesarily mean your preg :( ive not had any other symptoms :( 

ummm I will probs test on friday because Im going camping at the weekend and will want to see if I can have a few beers or not :) AF should be due around then anyway....


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## lxb

Lauren - I want to go shopping too!! Felt like I have nothing to wear everyday! Your diet sounds tough! But I know u can do it! It is all for great reasons!

Treasured - oooh, I hope it is implantation dip and a great sign for your bfp! :hugs: it is days like these that you look forward to tomorrow's temp! Hehehe... I know I am!! Fx that it shoots back up and stay up! It better! gun:)

Afm, AF showed yesterday (light flow and dark brown), and it is going now! :happydance: who would've thought I would use this smiley face for af's present eh? Ah.. The o so familiar cramps from AF. I certainly didn't miss her for the short 3 months. She should go on her vacation soon... Real soon. All our AFs should get together and go on these long cruises! And they should bring my MiL with them :rofl:


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## treasured

lxb- i hope so tooo! I love you! laughing so much at our AFs on a cruise with your MIL! she deserves them all at times haha!! x


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## lauren26

Lxb - LOLLL!!! If MIL came I don't know that our AFs would go! :haha: jokes! ;) So glad AF came for you (that does feel weird)! Now on to the rainbOw baby!


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## SleepyOwl

Hey ladies!! Just got back from the beach - OH and I were on a little couples weekend with our close friends. It was so fun and really helped me relax before I start work tomorrow. Very nervous for my first day, but just hoping and praying everything goes smoothly and that I have some clue as to what I'm doing :) 

Lxb - Yay for your AF, but I agree. I hope all of our AFs take a cruise with your MIL. I can't think of a better idea. 

Pino - So sorry about AF! All that work for nothing!! At least you had fun with OH right? 

Lauren - Oh man marathon shopping! That sounds exhausting, but good that you got some new stuff. 

I definitely O'd (I'm thinking last Weds/Thurs) because by last Friday I had sore/full boobs. Totally didn't BD enough, but whatever. I don't even care at this point. I'm just waiting for my doctor's appointment so I can make sure everything is okay with me. Of course I got an Evite to OH's old friend's baby shower. Like I really want to go to that by myself where I don't know anyone. Unless I'm totally forced by OH, I'm not going. Okay I'm off to bed because I'm exhausted and I don't want to look crazy tomorrow!!


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## lauren26

Sleepy - good luck on your first day of the new job!!! I am sure it will be great :) and I think you have a great whatev attitude about this month, lol!! Sometimes it's so necessary to take an emotional break and also take a break from charting.

Afm, caved and tested even though we BDed once and I don't know for sure when and if I Oed! Bfn! I started getting down and feeling the pressure of my 6 month window this weekend. Trying to stay positive but I'm scared it won't work!


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## lxb

treasured - yay for AFs cruise with MIL! :haha: :headspin: Wohoo.. temp is back up!! FX that it stays up!!

lauren - yea.. i'm worry that AFs won't go to the cruise if they know MIL is on it too! :haha: ah.. the 6-months window is a pressure and certainly add unnecessary stress to ttc! try to take your mind off the time (yea ... easier to be said than done) and focus on enjoying ttc with DH~ rainbow baby is there waiting for you~ :hugs:

sleepy - ah.. funny about evite from oh's old friend's baby shower. i know i won't go either! FX that this is your cycle and your dr appt will end up being a bfp confirmation~ :dance:

pino - so sorry to hear about af :hugs: ... perhaps BD everyday is not a good approach?


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## countrygirl86

Hi ladies! 

lauren - woohoo shopping! You definitely can't get a new wardrobe in one day, you need a few shopping trips! How's the job going now? Don't let the bfn get you down, I would think your body could use the first cycle to get used to its new look lol and I'm sure 6 months is a guide, try not to get hung up on the timing!

Sleepy - good luck at work! You'll have to let us know all about your first day! I agree with lauren, having the carefree approach is totally necessary and could be your good luck charm ;)

lxb - lol @ your mother in law on the cruise with the AFs! I'm excited for you to get back at BDing and charting and BFP! How many days till MIL leaves?

treasured - I'm excited for you to test! I'll keep watching your temps, it's a good sign :)

Where are you Sashimi? You should be into the IVF stuff now, interested to hear how it's going...


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## treasured

lauren- awww babes your only 9dpo arent you? or am I reading chart wrong? you could still have time?! any signs or symptoms coming your way? dont worry! technically this month doesnt count cause you were recouperating! so your time isnt going down dont worry :hugs:

sleepy- ahh good luck with your new job thats so exciting! what is the job? youve probably said but im lost with everyones news haha! you never know about this month once could be the trick :D and dont worry about the baby shower! I totally wouldnt be wanting to go either its just too much at times likes these.....

lxb- glad that you have AF! (only time we are EVER allowed to say that!) cant wait for you to get BDing again and get back to creating your weee bean! and remember im gonna get climbing into those ovaries soon if it doesnt get growing ! hehe! sounds weirder the more i say that haaha! 

country- I am exctied too, but nervous cause I HATE seeing 1 line :( I did an OPK today cause aparently they show positive if your preg? there was nothing there! sham! when are you getting a bump/non bump pic up ? I dont care if theres nothing there I wanna snoop anyway haha!

pino- where you at girl!?? hope your doing ok and dealing with the silly witch! yeahh maybe lxb is right.. ive heard that BDing everyday might not be the best idea? maybe you should try and just BD a few times around O? if you and OH can help yourself  i know what you pair are like ;) 

not much going on for me... wish it was more obvious! temp up a bit and still sore boobs but nothing else. 10dpo tomoroww so might test :| dunnno!


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## SleepyOwl

Work went well! It was all training. I'm working for the government now, and it's actually a dream job. I feel like I'm going to be doing something that I care about and hopefully making a real difference in the world!! Treasured - I'm a law clerk. Used to be an attorney, but this position is a lot more laid back and I don't have to worry about the stress of trials or working 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, so definite plus!

Lauren - Don't stress about that window! Your body is the in the best place for baby making and you and OH are going to make it happen. I just know it! I am praying for you and sending lots and lots of positive thoughts your way friend! And you know 9DPO is just wayyy to early. I'm still holding out hope!

Country - How's your little naval orange doing?? 

Treasured - Did you cave and test or are you going to hold out til manana? Your FF chart is looking really good, especially with that dip. 

Where's everyone else?? How are you all?


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## lauren26

Sleepy - that's AMAZING!! Congrats on the dream job :) such great Monday news!!! I'm so happy for you!

Treasured - no symptoms--not even anything to signify that I'm in the TWW except for extreme bitchiness and pimples! Yikes! But on te bright side I don't have te extreme bloating or breast tenderness that I did before the lap. Yes I am 9dpo I think. I overrided the system and set my own O day so I guess it's possible I didn't even O. 

Country - you are right! I know I can't expect too much from this first month. :)

Lxb - enjoying BD--always good advice! ;) 


You ladies are so supportive--thank you :hugs:.


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## treasured

Yep I caved in and tested, bfn. I wonder if maybe all the tests ive ever done have been faulty..? Maybe not but why cant there just be two lines? Im off to have my monthly cry before I have to go out and act all smiley with the world! Wish we could all go away to a desert island together! X


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## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> Sleepy - good luck on your first day of the new job!!! I am sure it will be great :) and I think you have a great whatev attitude about this month, lol!! Sometimes it's so necessary to take an emotional break and also take a break from charting.
> 
> Afm, caved and tested even though we BDed once and I don't know for sure when and if I Oed! Bfn! I started getting down and feeling the pressure of my 6 month window this weekend. Trying to stay positive but I'm scared it won't work!

6 months? try 6 weeks ;)
I hope I don´t sound condescending, just wanted to let you know, that anything is possible :hugs:


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## lauren26

Ladies! I think I got my BFP!!! I am scared! It is very faint--I POAS twice today and the second was slightly darker, but they are faint! Holy crap!! I don't know what to do! Except try to work and wait for tomorrow to test! I am def. not telling OH until it's real.


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## lauren26

PS I don't think I'm supposed to post that here, but you are my women! It's not a sure thing yet and I hope that it didn't offend anyone that I posted it here!!! GAH


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## lxb

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!

:wohoo: :wohoo:

can't wait for you to test again tmr!!!!! AHhhh... I hope this is it for you!!! AHhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:headspin:

** O.. Certainly NOT offended!
** How are you feeling?


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## lauren26

LOL lxb!!! I am feeling a little sick but really great! I actually threw up a couple days ago and didn't get my hopes up, but then today in the shower had to stop and do it again! Not feeling too rough just a touch. I have a super sensitive stomach so this ain't nothin' yet! Thank you, lxb! I hope so, too. If I get a better line tomorrow I will do a digital.


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## treasured

Omg omg omg omg omg ahhh I knew it! And you were worrying about 6 months!! Ahhh! Im so excited for you :) post test pics!!! X


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## lauren26

LOL how did you know??? I didn't know!!! I am still scared! I think I will be until I get a darker line and miss AF and then get bloodwork and so on and so on.....LOL. I can already see how this can be almost as stressful as TTC!


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## treasured

Omg im in shock to but soo glad you got the lap!! Wish I could get my bfp and share the excitement/fear with you :o I guess you could have o'd earlier which means your more days passed o and there still hope for me? Haha! So happy for you though girl! Dont leave us :)


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## lauren26

Never! You are my ladies! :hugs:


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## treasured

Can we see test pics :))))


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## lxb

Let the worries begin~~ :haha:

You'll first worry about first tri.. then second tri.. then third tri... then labor!!
Then when you baby first breath.. first formula.. first solid.. first word.. first crawl.. first step... 
Then... when they go to daycare/kindergarden/school...
Then... when they are teen!
Then... when they go to college!
Then... ... ... 

All SOOO exciting!! :hugs: Here's to AF gone for the next 9+ months! (make sure she brings my MIL!) :drunk:


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## Pino6161

Goodness I am off here for a couple days and so much has happened!!
RCAFWIFE---- I still dont think I could use the softcup, it sounds very uncomfortable :shrug:

Treasured--- When I first started temping I to was obsessed. Now I groan and complain about taking it :haha:

Lxb--- Yaayyy for AF :dance: Now its time to will it away for the full 9 months :haha:

SleepyOwl--- I hope you had lots of fun on the beach I am so jealous!! I wouldnt go to the baby shower either. I dont like being a lone shark :shrug: Your job sounds great, and it always helps being passionate 

Countrygirl--- Happy Orange :dance:

Lauren--- I hate shopping!!! Which is exactly why I dont have many clothes LOL. Your diet sounds like the one I am on for my pills :haha: OMG YOU GOT A BFP!! (and on MY birthday :haha: It makes me feel kind of special :rofl:!! I am so happy for you!!! :hugs: Why arent you supposed to put it in here? I would be pissed if you just up and ditched us!! You totally deserve it!!!! :hugs: :dance: :hugs: :dance: TEST PICS TEST PICS!!! :dance:

SashimiMimi--- Where are you love??
So Saturday me and OH went bowling and played pool for my birthday. We had so much fun, but my ass hurt afterwards LOL :haha: And yesterday we went to the ILs it was fun, but I was so exhausted!!! I am tired today :shrug: Yesterday we also got OHs fingerprints done, so now we just wait again.!! I will update a bit more sa my SIL is leaving today, and I have to go pretend I am sad about it! :haha:

:hugs:


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## lxb

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PINO!!!! :hugs:

:drunk: :drunk: :drunk:


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## lauren26

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pino!!! :hugs: Sounds like you did some fun activities!! I love a sore butt--makes me feel like I did something good, lol. I think that it's against the rules, technically, to post BFP announcements in the TTC section. And I will NOT leave! Unless you all want me to, lol! Until then you are stuck with me! 

lxb - I think you're right! Seems like once parenthood actually happens you never ever stop worrying about things! 

treasured - I will post a pic tomorrow morning IF it is darker (fx fx fx). The tests I did today are much pinker IRL than on the photo and I want to make a good case for my BFP, lol! Can you tell I'd much rather be on BnB than working right now? ;)


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## treasured

wooohoo :D im sure they will be! get a digi hehe! so excited :O

pino- happy birthday again (I posted on your FB):)! sounds like a lot of fun with OH i LOVE bowling!


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## lauren26

Taken on the sly at work...this one is def. darker than my FMU test! Still light but it's there!
https://i1263.photobucket.com/albums/ii633/laurendartt/BFPsmall-1.jpg


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## lxb

.*L*.*O*.*V*.*E*. !!! :cloud9:

:happydance: :happydance: :happydance:


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## countrygirl86

AHHHH LAUREN! You are pregnant! That's a beautiful line! I am so excited right now, can't wait to see tomorrow's darker one! And you have to tell DH (well not really have to but how could you not?)! Have you worked out your due date?


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## countrygirl86

Happy Birthday to you, Pino! Happy Birthday to you, Pino! Happy Birthday to our dearest Pino... Happy Birthday to you!

:cake:


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## lauren26

Country - !!!! :) FF says it is April 27th, but that seems early! At the risk of being TOTALLY premature, lol, I went to Target this morning and bought DH a Daddy-to-Be card and a bunch of tests including a couple digi. I will do the digi after work and will give him the card and wrap up the test (IF it's +!) and give it to him tonight after he gets home. I almost woke him up this morning but I was so in disbelief that this was all reality and was silently ugly crying on the toilet, LOL!!


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- I SEE THE LINE!!! I am so very happy for you!!!! :hugs: The card sounds so sweet!!! He will be ecstatic after the shock of it happening so quickly after the surgery LOL :haha:


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## countrygirl86

Lauren, you did the ugly cry! I am so proud! I wouldn't have expected any less lol and I love Target! I am so excited for DH to get home and you give him the card and test! Do you think he'll be expecting it at all or will it be a total shock? April 27th is less than 3 months behind me! Playdates!


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## lauren26

Country and Pino :hugs: :). I totally ugly cried!! He knows that I threw up the other day and knew I was feeling a little under the weather today, but he keeps his emos under wrap about TTC since he's gotten excited before and not had anything come of it. I will say, though, that the other night when I threw up he was like WHEN CAN YOU TEST?!? And I told him I had and that it was early and that I'd know soon hopefully. He is SO exhausted from his 50-60 hour work weeks during summer, so it's probably on his radar but I don't know that he's expecting it or waiting for it.


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## haribo813

OH MY GOD! Lauren this is the best news for bloody ages! I am so delighted for you. You've been through so much and been so strong and 1 BD and look where we're at! Love it, love it, love it!

Happy birthday Pino! What are you up to tonight? Mine was yesterday, it was half worky and half fun-I was thoroughly spoiled by a siblings surprise family visit, so nice.

Sleepy congrats on new job and glad you're so happy.

Treasured, how are you doing? Think you also tested early-do you still have your symptoms?

Lxb, I think the AFs and your MIL should go on a couple of round the world trips and aren't there going to be trips to the moon soon? :haha:

I'm fine, tried a different tack this month on the old BD and can't help but think this is our month (yep I think it every month but I have a funny feeling-must be the 2 full moons this August or something!) If not, well, I'll go in for tests and also go and see my Chinese herbs lady so hopefully I'll be taken care of. I am mid applying for a new job too, not got right experience but we shall see!

Anyway we'll see, I'm CD22 I think but cycles been more like 30-32 days lately. I never test early either-I can't take the disappointment!
xxxxx


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## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> Ladies! I think I got my BFP!!! I am scared! It is very faint--I POAS twice today and the second was slightly darker, but they are faint! Holy crap!! I don't know what to do! Except try to work and wait for tomorrow to test! I am def. not telling OH until it's real.

Oh, congratulations lauren :D :happydance:
I should be condescending to you guys more often ;)
:hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Hi all, sorry I haven't been around. I was in a really bad emotional place last week, but am doing a bit better. I saw a fertility hypnotist on Friday and it was Ana amazing experience that is helping me let go of some of my emotional blocks.

I'm now in phase 2 of the IVF fertility drugs. The last two weeks have been taking BCP and injections to stop estrogen production. Tomorrow I start the stimulants which is basically a giant needle I have to stick in my butt!! The needle itself is about 3 inches long and I have to put it in all the way as the doctor says it needs to go into my muscle!

Retrieval will be around Aug 26 and transfer 3 days later!! I'm incredibly scared and feel very vulnerable. I went to an fertility support group IRL and met someone who just had a successful IVF with my doctor, and spoke with one of OH's coworkers who is 23 weeks along after IVF. All these positive stories are encouraging but it makes me feel such pressure to get my BFP. I do feel very optimistic! But sad at the same time that I can't get PG naturally. It's a huge physical, emotional and financial investment. This is my last shot. It's so hard to imagine finally getting a BFP after so many disappointments! I pray that this will be it for me!

Lauren I know we spoke on and off all morning, but wow!!! I really think this is it! You deserve it after all you've been through!! The surgery was so worth it. Please keep us all posted! What an amazing thing to wake up to, a positive HPT!!!!!


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## SashimiMimi

Hey we are all posting at the same time!!!!


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## lauren26

Thank you, Sashimi, and I just KNOW this will work for you :hugs:. Really. It's totally scary and you totally, totally, super deserve a BFP!!! I really feel it will happen for you and soon.


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## SleepyOwl

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lauren!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!! I am ecstatic for you - how amazing that it happened so quickly after your surgery. You totally deserve this and I hope you have a wonderful 9 months. EEEEK!!! So exciting!!!!! This thread totally needed a BFP - it's been awhile since we had one and we were desperate for some baby dust. Never leave us ok??!!


Pino - Happy birthday girlfriend!!! I hope you treated yourself to something fabulous!

Sashimi - I'm confident this will be it for you! I can only imagine how emotionally and physically trying the whole process is. I'm praying that after this you'll have your BFP!


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## SleepyOwl

HAHAHA! Lauren - I just read that you were ugly crying on the toilet this morning. That's my girl!!! Praying that there will be a few more ugly cries like that for some of us this cycle too - you need bump buddies and who better than us?! Lol!!


----------



## lxb

haribo - :haha: a trip to the moon sounds nice a great idea!! 

treasured - can't wait for u to test!!! 

sashimi - you are such a strong woman! I'm so glad you have support group IRL and it is helping you through this. I smell a BFP happening very soon for you :hugs: :hugs:

sleepy - still can't believe you don't have a temp for us to stalk! :haha:

lauren - AHHH!! I'm loooking VERYY much to tomorrow for your dark test!!!!! Can't wait to hear how OH reacted~~~~~ :wohoo:


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## SashimiMimi

Lxb the support group IRL was nothing compared to this bunch!! I was glad i got to talk to someone who goes to my doctor. I wish I could start believing the BFP will come! I do feel this is my best shot!!!

How are you feeling Lxb???


----------



## lxb

sashimi - gotta love this crazy lady thread eh? :haha: we all believe your BFP will come so you just gotta hop on board with us!! :hugs: :hugs:

I'm feeling okay at the moment... cd4 (first AF after the d&c). First day was crampy & light, second and third day were cramping hard & medium-heavy (had to take pain killer 3 times to help ease the pain), and today.... only has some in the morning and nothing (not even spotting)! When I wiped, there was nothing but a VERY pale red spots (like you are painting with a brush, then you rinse your brush in cup of water, then try it on the paper towel <-- that pale, :haha: sorry, tmi?). So, I am quite confused.. :wacko:

Trying to decide if we should ttc asap or wait for 3 cycles :dohh: I was told that I didn't need to wait by one PA and that I can start ttc as soon as I'm ready. Then, I was told to wait for one cycle (after a regular AF) by another PA. Then, this morning's appt, I was told by the doc to wait for three cycles to start ttc :dohh: as she said the chances of mc increased if ttc right after mc. But another bnb buddy told me their OB said otherwise. :wacko:


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## lauren26

lxb - I have heard both that there is higher risk of MC right after and that you're more likely to get pg right after...Do you have a sense of what feels right for you? I am sorry the AF cramps are so bad :( and glad that AF is almost on her way out forever! Lol! At least for several months ;). Does OH want to wait?


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## lauren26

Sleepy - Thank you!! LOL I really got 'er done with that toilet cry!! It would be a dream come true to have ALL of us be bump buddies at once--is that really so much to ask?!?! You know what they say--when it rains it pours, so maybe it's about to rain BFPs on this thread!! I will do a BFP rain dance...:wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::holly:


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## SleepyOwl

I'm loving that booby BFP rain dance!! Keep 'er coming!


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## lxb

Lauren - i think thats why I am confused as I wasn't sure what to do. I was planning on ttc right after af is gone when sept comes around before the docs visit. But after the visit, I am scared of another mc and if it really does increase the chance of mc again then I would want to hold off. So I am torn. Dh seems to think 1 af is good enough. I told him what the doc said... About how we should bd 4 weeks after dnc. He asked "how long has it been? Has it been 4 weeks yet?" .... It has only been two! :dohh:

Can't help but to think :rain: for the pouring BFPs!!!


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## lauren26

Hmmm I would trust your gut on this one and TTC when it feels safe and feels like the right time--if that's in two weeks then great but if it is not for another two months that's also fine! I am excited and anxious for your rainbow baby but I want you to be and feel safe! :hugs:


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## Pino6161

Thank you all for the Birthday wishes!! We didn't do much today as we celebrated yesterday, but had some quiet time for the 2 of us. My OH was very sweet and loving. It was a great day!! :hugs:

Goodness I have been off for 2 hours and this crazy woman thread has gone through a page and a half LOL!!

Sash--- I see your BFP coming also. Don't be disappointed that you couldn't get it naturally. I look at it this way.... a BFP is a BFP if it helps have some sex so it is still a bond between you and OH. That is important. Either way you are getting your much deserved bundle of joy!! :hugs:

Lxb-- I agree with the others when you are ready you are ready. My suggestion though is that you wait maybe 1 cycle. Don't do OPK's or BBT. Have sex when you want to rather than trying so hard as we all do. I had a chemical the cycle after my 2nd MC. It was not as hard as a MC, but still. It got hopes up.

Lauren--- You have some major strength not telling your OH today LOL I would explode!! :haha:


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## treasured

Lxb- dont think im going to bother testing! Temp went up a bit today but im still having af cramps, keep checking to see if she's there! Hoped she would have held off a few more days though as im only 11dpo! Maybe my progesterone is low and that's why my temp dropped in the middle :s

Lauren- im the same as you I would want the time to tell dh to be special so good on you for holding it in haha! Im still so pleased for you woke up this morning thinking about you hehe! I feel we have all been through a lot together ( most of you ladies more so than me) and I think any bfp for us feels like all of ours if you get me haha! So you can never leave :D 

Pino- glad you had another nice day with oh it's good that's he has some time off work to spend with you :D how you feeling about restarting this cycle? Think il be joining you any day now! X


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## treasured

just a question for you ladies- espesh the preggers ones! 

firstly, what did your cervix feel like around about your bfp? cause mine is actually feeling quite open and soft, ive NEVER felt it like this before but I thought it was meant to be closed if your pregnant :(

also, sorry if this is TMI, today and yesterday ive had what can only be described as 'bogey-like' CM (sorry!!) its not as strechy as EWCM more sort of blobby LOL. anyone expreienced this with either pregnancy or AF?#

thanks girls :) x


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## preg_pilot

treasured said:


> just a question for you ladies- espesh the preggers ones!
> 
> firstly, what did your cervix feel like around about your bfp? cause mine is actually feeling quite open and soft, ive NEVER felt it like this before but I thought it was meant to be closed if your pregnant :(
> 
> also, sorry if this is TMI, today and yesterday ive had what can only be described as 'bogey-like' CM (sorry!!) its not as strechy as EWCM more sort of blobby LOL. anyone expreienced this with either pregnancy or AF?#
> 
> thanks girls :) x

The cervix can actually feel low and open for the first few weeks of pregnancy (up to 6 weeks), then it starts to raise itself and close off.
Yep, check on that wonky CM... 
:dust:


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## lauren26

Treasured - that snot cm is normal either way I think! And I have read a lot of things about cp and still have questions myself.

Well team, my test this morning was definitely a bit darker than the one I did yesterday morning, but also when I got up to pee I had a little bit of blood and so of course now I feel scared this will end before it really began :(. Temp still high and test still +, hubb thinks its normal and fine, but of course I feel very deflated and dot know what to do.


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## lxb

Treasured - hmm... I'm not sure about cervix myself. But I think those cm sounds like a good sign!

Lauren - :hugs: it is perfectly normal. That is just your uterus doing its job in creating room for your sticky bean. The only thing you can do now is to schedule appt with the doc... And take good care of yourself. Eat healthy! And definitely start prenatal vitamin if you haven't already :hugs: other than that, just sit back and watch your bean grow :). How did your hubby react?? :dance:

Pino - wait for 1 cycle? I guess technically I am at one cycle already? As af showed on sat and is gone now (let's see if I spoke too soon!). This af is weird. First day is spotting dark brown, then to bright red! Then 2nd and 3rd day are medium to heavy and crampings!! 4th day is just a glob in the morning and clear the whole day! Pad looks clean this morning! Just saw some light red cm-ish when wiped. This is weird as I usually spot after those heavy days for 2-3 days and never this clear! :dohh:


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## countrygirl86

treasured - I haven't checked my cervix but I did have lots of creamy CM starting before I found out and it's still going lol Sounds like a good sign girl!

lauren - I had random spotting in the beginning too but I know it's still scary. Whatever will happen will happen and there's nothing we can do to change it but try to keep calm. How did DH react to the card and test? I'll join you with the BFP rain dance! Preg and I need the company!

:dance::headspin::wohoo::loopy::rain:\\:D/

Pino - glad you had a good time celebrating your birthday :) Crazy how the thread just takes off sometimes and is quiet others!

lxb - is there one trusted doctor you could talk to about it? All this trip talk has me thinking we should arrange to meet at a nice hot resort if/when we do all meet up! No MILs allowed!

haribo - you are in a great place right now. Either it's BFP time or you have a plan in place to get it sooner! I'm rooting for the first one! So we should know in about a week?

Sashimi - I can't imagine what is going through your head, it affects you physically and emotionally. I have to admit I am totally excited for you though, IVF is the toughest route to go and you have embraced it and you WILL get your BFP and hold your baby. I'm praying for you too.

Sleepy - man it's frustrating that your chart is so spotty! It really could be a good thing though, we all had those breaks from crazy charting...


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## Jaynie82

Treasured I had that about a week ago! Didn't know if I ovulated late?? This was the month I didn't use OPK!


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## Jaynie82

My ciggy is wrong and I haven't tested


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## SashimiMimi

Lxb - I think you need to get solid advice from a trusted doctor like country suggested. I have two friends that both had MCs close to their second trimester and both of them had to wait 8 months in their particular situations. It was a long wait, but they went on to have healthy babies. So you need to do what is best for not only your physical health, but your emotional health as well. 

Thanks, Country. I get really upset when people say "Maybe your baby just isn't ready!" or "It will happen when the time is right." I need the time to be NOW! I don't have $50k lying around to do this multiple times, so this feels like my last shot at a BFP. What scares me the most is that my infertility is still pretty much unexplained. The issues they found are being treated, yet nothing has worked up until this point. 

As I've said before, it's still a long road to even get to the transfer and the TWW. They need to get lots of eggs, get those eggs to fertilize and then have them turn into embryos. I feel SO vulnerable right now and I'm making constant mistakes at work because I just can't concentrate. 

I'm really glad to to have the support of this group. This is the most isolating and lonely experience I have ever gone though. I keep trying to search my intuition as to whether or not this is going to work and I don't have a feeling one way or another. When good things have happened in my life, I have always felt them coming. I feel nothing right now but fear and vulnerability. Do you guys think it's bad that I don't have a feeling one way or another?


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## SashimiMimi

Also last night a female friend of mine asked if I was scared of becoming the next Octomom. I got really angry and told her that was a rare case which never happens in real life, the media made it explode across headlines which has given false stereotypes toward IVF. No doctor in their right mind would transfer that many embryos, plus Octomom didn't struggle with fertility! I swear I have such a short fuse right now!


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## haribo813

God, Octomum jokes, how thoughtless and predictable. I don't think it's bad that you don't have a feeling-I'm not surprised you feel like that either, it's a balance between not getting your hopes up too high and feeling open to a baby being conceived through IVF. I'd guess the most important thing I suppose is to try and feel at ease and carry on as normal which must be hard with all these mega injections. Also, I know it's not the natural way but you're never going to care how you got your little baby when it's here-it will seem totally irrelevant.

Sounds like you are doing a great job and I have everything crossed for you. You never know, there's a chance this will work AND you'll have other good eggs extracted to use for future, that would be amazing! I'm sad that you didn't feel ok last week-I also was in a dark place but things are looking up. I've even turned 31 and I don't feel terrible about it!

Lauren totally understand why the tiny spotting is making you nervous but am sure it is fine-it's just settling in! Great that temps still high too. Do you still need to stick to your crazily demanding diet?! Have you told OH yet? We need to know his reaction and how you told him!

Lxb, how tough not knowing what to do. I think I'd be tempted to try now you've had 1 cycle but agree with the others-best to do what you feel is right.

Treasured - I don't know about gloopy CM-the last few months I've got it about a week to ten days after O and got excited but nada. But one of these days hopefully it will be the one! Fingers crossed for you-when are you due/when will you test?

Country, hi, hope you're doing ok!

Sleepy, what's new with you? What stage are you at?

Last night I booked last minute cheapo flights to France for this weekend-I'm on a post birthday/Olympics comedown and didn't fancy the turn for the worse weather in London this weekend so am offski! No news on my job, praying I'll get an interview! I'm still laying off the caffeine and booze, it's surprisingly not very hard after all.

Really hoping this is a good month for all of us-I am so done with thermometers, random vitamins, OPKs...!

Lots of love crazy ladies,
xoxoxox


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- The other ladies are correct it can be soft and open for the first couple of weeks. Th cum Im not sure as everyone has different signs. This could be one of yours.

Lauren---- So you told OH already?? Did you give him the card?? I wouldnt worry about the spotting. Try to relax :hugs:

Lxb--- My cycle changed after each MC so that might be your case. And I meant just NTNP for this cycle just to be on the safe side. Me myself dont have the patience to wait a full 3 cycles LOL. Just do what your heart tells you :hugs:

Janie---- So are you late in your cycle then???

Sash--- I know your feeling about other people getting BFPs and not knowing why you cant. Try not to let what other people say get to you. I really do think this will be your chance. I think your co worker was just trying to make a joke. A bad one at that though. You have every right to be on a short fuse. Your emotions are everywhere. Just remember. All of us crazy ladies are here for you!! :hugs:

So yesterday was mostly a good day except for one catch. I need to vent so here it is


Spoiler
My OHs first serious relationship was in high school and they dated for about 2 years. She was very controlling, always saying he was cheating, even though she was. Her family was nuts, I mean really nuts. Anyways they broke up and that was that as he moved. My biggest problem with her was that he lost his virginity to her. I lost mine to him. My virginity meant a great deal to me because of a promise I made to my Aunt and Grandmother before they passed. Anyways about a year ago she found him on Facebook and he accepted her friend request. I was fine with it until 1 day I went on his facebook cause I was talking to his cousin through it about family pics anyways and I see the messages from her so I read them. They were innocent enough until she started talking about the past and their relationship. Well I brought it up to him and we got into a big argument about her and I blocked her from his facebook. That was that. NOT. So early this year I saw some text messages from her and we had another big fight about it. And I messaged her saying nicely that I was not comfortable with them being in contact as she had a habit of bringing up the past and if she wanted to talk she could message me. Well I never heard from her. Yesterday I was IMing OHs cousin from my facebook and I went into my messages and I noticed this other folder called other well I clicked it and I had 3 messages. 2 from her saying what I have heard about her etc. and one from her BF/babies dad saying that I need to watch my OH cause he found text messages to the ex asking for sexy pics. (they were both from january/february) They thing is was that all the messages were written in the same horrible English, and had the same tone, so I figured she wrote it. So I responded to her saying that what I know is moot and contact needs to stay void etc. Well I get this message saying that she doesnt care and hopefully he is better to me than he was to her etc. Everything I know about her is from friends that were all there, my OH and his bestfriend/her ex. Anyways I bring it up to my OH and he said he would have never asked for pics and the time that she was texting him she was asking him for hookups cause I guess his cousin sells drugs. He would respond that he was not into that shit and she would get pissed off. I guess her and her BF are into drugs and shit. Anyways we talked at length about it and I told him that I was thinking about messaging her and finding out her side of the story. Well he saw it as she would do anything to put a wedge between us and it would ruin our relationship. I agreed, even though I was tipsy so we both blocked both of them from facebook. He said One day she will get what she deserves My only response was that she is conniving, and does drugs, and still deserves her 2 beautiful children. How is life fare?? I just dont get it!! Anyways we left the past in the past, and in all reality it is easier this way. It just pisses me off that after everything she still gets to have children!!! IDK

I feel better now that I have vented!! I can finally just put her away and throw away the key!! :hugs:

Other than that nonsense I had a good, relaxing day!!

I am feeling ok this month of TTCing but I am losing faith and patience quickly. I am not allowed to show it to OH though cause he gets angry/upset


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## lauren26

First off, here is this morning's SMU--darker than yesterday AM, not crazy dark yet but helps me feel optimistic!

https://i1263.photobucket.com/albums/ii633/laurendartt/SMU11dpo.jpg

Thank you ladies for comforting me!! I called my doctor and phone nurse said that it was probably normal but that I could come in today for bloodwork and get same day results. I do know it's normal--with my history I am concerned, but SO FAR I haven't had any more red-brown, only tinged brown CM. My other concern is just that I felt crazy sick, hot, and headachey yesterday and don't hardly at all today...I guess I will know soon enough! They get the results at 2pm and could call as late as 4:30 :wacko:...

I am trying to stay optimistic! Doesn't feel like AF is going to show but some of these things are typical before AF. Still, I feel like my body just got a nice clean out, is back to 'normal', and I have no real evidence so far that this pregnancy will end early! 

I told OH last night with the card. He saw the word 'Daddy' and didn't even finish opening it! He was very happy and I made him finish opening the card and look at the pee stick!! LOL! This morning he was still excited and not at all concerned about the blood. He has pretty good intuition around health matters, so him feeling calm does help me. I made the mistake of telling my BF/coworker what was going on since I was late to work and she had to cover for me, and she keeps saying things like, 'You have to accept that with your history it's a distinct possibility that you will lose it.' Makes me not want to talk to her at all!! Anyway, sorry to go on and on. I will let you all know as soon as I find out. I will be praying hard until then! I will write everyone back later, too, but wanted to update and jump off. More later! And happy the thread is so active :).


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- That is very negative of your BF. No matter your history it is possible for anyone, but that doesn't mean you say it out loud. It is messed up and rude! Tell her to shut her face!!


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## countrygirl86

Jaynie - :test:

Sashimi - some people have no clue about fertility, IVF, etc. You are right to have a short fuse, ignorance is annoying! I don't think there's anything wrong with going into it without a feeling one way or another, our bodies/minds have a way of protecting us. As you go through the next steps that feeling may change...

Haribo - just going to jet off to France :plane: lol can I come too?

Pino - ugh exes! Glad it's all over. DH seemed very responsible about it. How is your knee?

Lauren - Beautiful test! Let us know how the bloods went. I love DH's reaction! Your coworker has no children/no known fertility issues I assume? I would keep my distance from her for sure. I'm with Pino!


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## Pino6161

Country--- My knee is doing ok. I still can't do anything to strenuous. It popped out while we were bowling. It does that now. It pops out and I have to put it back in. When we get to OK I am going to have a specialist look at it. As for the ex. I don't see how she can still be so bitter after 7 years, it's just BS

How are you feeling?? Have you got a bump??


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## lxb

sashimi - so sorry you have to deal with those ignorant people~ some people just don't have a clue what it's like to be in the others' shoes~ and certainly can use some sensitivity juice! i think the reason you're not feeling so well about all this is to protect yourself. You're trying not to get your hopes up just in case. And it is perfectly normal to feel that way. we, the crazy bunch, have our hopes sky high for you because we KNOW it WILL happen!... so we balance each other out~ :hugs:

pino - people can be bitter~ glad that you and oh sort things out and moving on with it. some people just can't let go~ Ahh.. hope you can get your knee taken care of soon!! it's scary to hear you have to pop it in so often?! :wacko: how's your smoking quitting progress? are you completely off now? haven't heard much update on this from ya~

jaynie - TEST!!! :dance: there sure are some baby dust floating around this forum! :rain:

haribo - I'm with country! can i come too??

country - i'm STILL waiting for your bump pic! as well as Preg's bump pic!!

lauren - what the?! about your bf/coworker! Yes, please stay AWAY from her! Who needs negativity?! As country said, it is what is it.. and will be what will be. All we can do is to take good care of ourselves and that is really all... that we can do. God... waiting for the call is the worst!!! well.. good thing you have us here with u to kill some time! :gun:

afm, maybe as pino said.. my cycle is different now. Just feels so weird. AF is gone, just like that. no spotting. feeling so strange. I still have a little bit of cramps at random at times... and i felt like more af would come rushing out! :wacko: but cd5... clear as day~ only some bloody-dye-cm looking thing when wiped (1/5 times?)

I've only seen one OB.. so i'm not sure if there's a trusted doc i can talk to. as I've been lurking around the forums.. people are told different things. And some went on to have healthy babies... some ended up in mc... some are still waiting for bfp. I guess nobody really knows what's "right". 

I feel good physically and emotionally. Maybe I should wait after 2nd af? .... as a fellow bnb buddy said her doc said wait 2 cycles... 'one to flush things out. and one for luck' :haha: I feel I'm being ignorant again and acting as if I'll get bfp the moment I try for me to worry about mc. :dohh:


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## Pino6161

I do not smoke anymore, only when I drink. Yesterday I had 2 and Saturday 1 as I was drinking, but I don't really miss it


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## lauren26

Talked to nurse and it's official! :) My hcg was at 25, which is not high but is exactly where it should be for when I Oed and when implantation probably happened, so I am satisfied! I need to go back Friday to make sure things are progressing. A little nervous about that, of course, but I am starting to feel like it might be OK! Slight nausea returned (yay! lol), and no more spotting as of now, knock on wood! I am thinking of starting a journal so that I'm not constantly talking about this on our TTC thread. Back to work for me--people are DEF getting suspicious about what I've been doing on the net all day....Anyway, will write back individually later as there is so much I want to say to you crazy ladies!


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## treasured

thanks everyone for your input on cervix & CM haha! I guess we are all different which is a pain! 

ahhh lauren this is all so exciting! I dont think you should be made to doubt this pregnancy and I agree with the girls tell your friend to butt out! she clearly has her brain in her backside :D if everything seems fine at the docs then jst try to relax :) I know its difficult after all youve been through with the surgery and stuff but this is your time :D so cute how you told DH I bet he is thrilled!

pino- im not sure if this is a new sign for me cause I dont usually check my CM right up at my cervix, cause thats the only place I have this CM. it still feels like it is open but maybe slightly higher than earlier? gahhh confusion! I know how you feel about OH getting annoyed about TTC failure chat! mine has decided to more ignore the situation when I complain about it and I now thats just his way of dealing with it but I wish he would maybe show a bit of upset for once!

ummm Im gonna be 12dpo tomorow, 26 day cycle usually but i think my LP was 10 days last month? if AF doesnt arrive tomorow or friday morning im gonna do a test cause Im going camping at the weekend and wanna make sure Im ok to have a drink... I will be 13dpo by then so should get an accurate test result.


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## lxb

lauren - :wohoo: :wohoo: yay for official confirmation!!!!! SOOooo excited for you!!


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- It's official :dance: I am sooooo very happy for you!!!!

Treasured---- You could test right now just to make me happy LOL! 2 BFP's in a week would be awesome!! :hugs:

Lxb--- Don't be confused just go with the flow!!


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## treasured

sashimi- why do people STILL assume octomom happends to everyone that does IVF? although.... if you did become her you could share them out and give us one all ;) hehe! 
but seriously, people dont seem to get how hard something like that is to go through so there is no need for silly comments! Dont you worry you will never be alone with us here! I know it isnt this same as being able to hug someone and really lean on them but I hope in some way that our words can help guide you through the bits that are too tough to face alone! I beleive that your fear and doubts are stemmed from a positive. You want this so much that of course there will be parts of your mind telling you that it wont work, because we dont like to set ourselves up for more pain. But I think this is the way forward for you, and you are strong enough to get what you need out of it :) So dont even worry that you cant see the positives from it yet, because like haribo said once you get buba you'll know that somthing good has deffinately happened! :hugs: 

p.s. woah.... when did I get so cheesy?


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## treasured

haha pino I have no tests! I deliberately didnt buy any so that I couldnt test! throw me some over?


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## treasured

p.s jaynie- I also want you to test!! this CM is deffo not to do with O cause I now for a fact that I o'd on CD14 so im not sure what it is :S:S x


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- I OBJECT!! :haha: Go get some. See I only got to pee on a stick once and that's just not fair. I have to live through all of you :rofl:


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## Pino6161

By the way, I think BnB needs a chat section like Facebook, but with multiple people so we don't have to keep refreshing!!


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## lxb

Pino6161 said:


> By the way, I think BnB needs a chat section like Facebook, but with multiple people so we don't have to keep refreshing!!

AGREE!! :dance:

** update **
If you ladies still remember, that friend of mine that I suspect is preggo but didnt' tell me. (Well, she still hasn't told me... but her status update definitely confirmed it). Her status : "After last night's dinner, I've concluded I no longer love shrimp". It still bothers me a little that she still hasn't told me but I won't let it get to me.


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren: Yes, yay for official confirmation!!! Sounds like the spotting is normal - especially if it's brown CM. All the stalking I've done for when I get pregnant says that's expected lol. What a sweet reaction from OH! Did you ugly cry when he read the card? Because I almost ugly cried reading about it on here lol. Ahhhh - I still can't believe it! So exciting!!

Pino: That is crazy about ex-gf. She needs to go away and never come back! 

Lxb: I feel like if you are feeling good emotionally and physically and the doc gave you the go ahead (assuming you trust your doc), then go for it! Bottom line is that you and OH have to be comfortable with your decision. I am excited for your rainbow baby to get here though!

Treasured: You better test tomorrow girl!! No sign of AF is def a good sign. Fingers crossed for you friend!

Haribo: Umm can you take one more BnB buddy with you??? 

Sashimi: I'm so so sorry that you are feeling so alone and vulnerable right now. I feel very alone in the whole process a lot of the time and like I only have you ladies. And even then it's hard because sometimes you just want to pick up the phone and cry to somebody. Hopefully this thread and BnB gives you the support you need; also glad that you found that IRL support too. I hope this process gets easier as you go through it and that you only have to do it once. That octomom comment was so rude! I can't believe people have the nerve to say some of the things they do. You were right to have a short fuse with her. She probably deserve a swift kick to the head for that one as well. 

I think I'm 7DPO now actually, after really sitting down and thinking about what day it was. And like Sashimi, I've been feeling very alone regarding TTC lately. OH really hasn't been in any kind of mood to talk about anything and with all these girls on FB getting pregnant with their 2nd, 3rd and 4th kids (all my age mind you), I'm feeling an even stronger sense of urgency to just get my 1st. I felt like OH was rude last night when I brought up that someone else was pregnant (one of his friends that got married in Feb), so I just went to bed and cried myself to sleep. I knew he felt bad about it and wanted to talk this morning, but I probably would have just cried more and gone to work looking like a red-nosed fool. He did call me later and say that he finally made an appointment with his doctor for an SA and to get a referral for a urologist (this was supposed to have been done MONTHS ago). I'm still feeling pretty down because I feel like AF is coming. I had EWCM today which is weird but I feel like is a sign of AF. I also get this feeling about a week before my period where my V feels really warm and I got that today. Ugh - it kills me. I will never understand how it is easy for some people to get pregnant.


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## SleepyOwl

OMG while I was typing this novel I missed all those other posts. I second Pino - Treasured go get some tests ASAP!


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## Pino6161

Ok so I was just thinking "this is NOT fair"!!!!! Not the BFP's or anything, but you guys are lapping me with your cycles!! You go through 2 ovulation's compared to my 1. I am kind of pouting now :cry: :haha:


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## treasured

lololol guyss! its 20 to 1 in the morning here! I mean I know desperate times and all that but Im not sure the Mcdonalds drive through would sell HPTS and im pretty sure thats all thats open round here! hehe!

pino i WANT a chat!!! although we could chat on FB but I dont have the other ladies! who wants to ADD? it must be tough having long cycles :( yours arent too bad though are they? i HATE having a short luteal phase though it really bugs me when I dont know whats going on! although this month im on 12dpo which is kinda normal right? xxx


----------



## Pino6161

Treasured---My cycles are around 30 and I have around a 12 day LP


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## Pino6161

and I kinda want Mcdonalds now LOL


----------



## SashimiMimi

Thank you so much Ladies for all your kind and encouraging words. I have read all your messages and it is the only thing that got me through this rotten day. I told OH how stressed I feel with work and he told me he knew it was a bad idea to do IVF now. I wanted him to encourage me and say that this is the right choice, but he is lashing out at me once again. I'm also being scolded constantly at work because I just can't seem to focus or get through the ocean of work I have sitting on my desk. 

I just feel like I can't catch a break and now I want McD's too!!! I'm off to bed as I am totally exhausted, I just want to say thank you. And big hugs to all of us on here who are feeling lost and afraid right now!


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## lxb

Sashimi - :hugs: :hugs: 

Gosh... Good thing I've already had dinner! Else I mig just drie through mcd for dinner! Woohoo.. 20 pieces of nuggets for $4.99! :dance:


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## lauren26

I almost had McD for breakfast!! The universal food, lol. 

Sashimi - I wrote you already but please don't hesitate ever to use us as your support!! That's what we're here for and OH's can be so rotten without even realizing it. You have been a huge support to everyone here, and you deserve your long-awaited BFP and a ton of encouragement and cheering along the way!

lxb - Have you decided how long to wait? I wonder if you can speak to the doctors who gave you the conflicting info and ask them why they gave you the timelines that they did. I do think that your body will start to intuitively know, but it's also really important for you to be safe and feel safe right now. I just know that rainbow baby is waiting! :hugs: Thank you for being such a cheerleader on this thread!

Pino - How are you feeling now at a year older? :) I can't believe what you said about your knee!! That does sound scary! The long cycles sound like they STINK! I wish we could speed them up for you!! 

Sleepy - Thank you! I think I did ugly cry when OH opened his card, lol. There'll be a lot more where that came from too!! Thank you for the insight from your stalking ;) And I am so sorry that your OH is being unsupportive :hugs:. What is with our OH's sometimes??? I just want to shake them!! I feel like we need to get them all in a room and give them a good, sound talking to! 

Country - LOL on those smilies! I love all the smilies this thread has had lately! You are so wise--calm is the only way!!

haribo - SO jealous that you are going to France!! We went for our honeymoon in fall and it was lovely. I wish I could be there again and eat myself stupid! Is there a timeline with the job--like when you're supposed to hear back about an interview? Bravo on no caffeine and alcohol! It makes such a big difference!! I went off of those two plus sugar and aerobic exercise last summer because of a health issue and lost 15 pounds super quick! Of course I gained it all back after Christmas... :blush:

Treasured - Definitely time to TEST!!! And 12 day LP is officially normal and OK--I have read this many times! I have super FX for you and for the hailstorm of BFPs to start on this thread!!

Did I forget anyone? I am sorry if I did--so many pages to wade through! Love how active our thread is!!!! You ladies are the best!


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## treasured

pino - ahhh I see now how that can be really annoying as your waiting so much longer to O! Sorry if I sounded a bit doubtful before I didnt mean to!! :hugs: mmmm I might just get a Mcds today ;)

lxb- omggggggg 20 mcnuggets for 4.99 :O thats like £3 here! costs a wholllllllllle lot more here I suspect :( 

I loved being over in texas a few years back athough I think I would be the size of a house if I lived there! mmmmmmm taco bell mmmmmm dairy queen mmmm and lets not forget sonic! dont even have to leave your car the person just skates on over :O WHY dont these things exsist here?

lauren- im just a bit scared to test seeing as 10dpo was a BFN! my temp dropped a bit today too :( 

I did have the WEIRDEST thing last night though. my dog was really bugging me, like he usually annoys me with his snoring but I can deal with it. But last night I literally had to get outta bed and put him out the room. Then I had to go pee. Then when I got back in bed I could not get back to sleep I was so restless. I did feel a bit nauseous too, when I closed my eyes, had to sit up for a while. Took me ages to fall asleep, but when I woke this morning I actually thought it was a dream. It doesnt seem like it happened, but it did cause my dog wasnt in my room! Very strange :S So if thats not a pregnancy sign then I swear an alien force was upon me........

P.s. not sure if my private messages got sent right but Lauren and Sash I have added you both! Very pretty ladies! lauren you actually really remind me of one of my friends :D


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## Jaynie82

Morning! Ok so cd 29 today. Since we started ttc my cycles have been 24 -29 days (29 days was my first cycle of the pill in march and 24 days was the next one). Approx 15dpo but 10dpo if I counted from the weird jelly stuff. AF was due on tues. Still getting what I can only describe as 'gushes' of watery cm (sorry gross I know). Keep running to the toilet to check. Also have had a bit of cramping the last 2 days off and on which makes me think AF is enroute. Had a head cold since tues and I haven't taken any medication in case it masks symptoms. Just don't know..... Think I will have to test tomorro night if no AF as dh has planned a surprise weekend


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## preg_pilot

lauren - :hugs: Spotting is normal in early pregnancy, it´s if it doesn´t stop you need to see someone :)
Gratz on the darker test, they kept getting progressively darker for the first 3-4 times, then they levelled out, and some even looked lighter after that. Didn´t mean anything though.
And your BF! -  on her

country - yep, we definitely need more company to "complain" with about preggy pains ;)

sash - sorry you´re feeling vulnerable these days, we´re here for you :hugs:
My theory is that you don´t feel anything these days, because you´re afraid of hoping, and of failure. It´s your minds way of protecting itself, nothing else.
OH´s are sometimes really inconsiderate, maybe I´m a little lucky we´re living in separate countries for the first 6 months of pregnancy? I´m starting to think that ;)

haribo - yep, caffeine and booze, once you´re "clean" the headaches also stop. I usually have a headache for about 14 days when I go caffeine clean. Heheh. Shows us what it really is, huh?

Pino - Wow - crazy ex... :hugs:
I hope your OH starts to see the bigger picture soon (not only his own view of it).



treasured said:


> p.s. woah.... when did I get so cheesy?

mmm... cheese..... ;)

AFM - I´ve ordered a Doppler (will have it in my hands on the 24th). I just can´t wait to be able to hear my baby´s heartbeat whenever I feel like it :D


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## preg_pilot

Jaynie82 said:


> Morning! Ok so cd 29 today. Since we started ttc my cycles have been 24 -29 days (29 days was my first cycle of the pill in march and 24 days was the next one). Approx 15dpo but 10dpo if I counted from the weird jelly stuff. AF was due on tues. Still getting what I can only describe as 'gushes' of watery cm (sorry gross I know). Keep running to the toilet to check. Also have had a bit of cramping the last 2 days off and on which makes me think AF is enroute. Had a head cold since tues and I haven't taken any medication in case it masks symptoms. Just don't know..... Think I will have to test tomorro night if no AF as dh has planned a surprise weekend

Ooh, CM gushes sound promising, I had those :D


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## treasured

girls- im in a bit of a rut at the moment... so I put this to you : would you take a job purely because you were in need of money... but that you might not actually enjoy?

my reasoning is that Ive actually been offered one of the jobs I applied for a while back. But yesterday I went to meet with one of the clients and it wasnt really what I had expected, I mean I'm a 21 year old female and this job involves the personal care and supervision of a 65 year old man with history of extreme violence (including sleepovers at his home) all by myself. I am a strong minded person but I think even this is a bit much for me to handle. 

So I dont think I am going to take it up. What do you ladies think? Also, its not really the type of job I could just take on and then leave after a short time if you know what I mean as the attachment is important to people with disabilites.


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## lxb

Treasured - be safe! I think you've made the right choice by not taking the job. Better to be safe than sorry. :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

If you have a bad feeling go with your gut and dont take it!! I interviewed somewhere last fall at a place that just felt wrong to me. I held out and finally the right opportunity came along. I'm glad I didn't take that job!!


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- I have taken a job just for the money, but it was not as drastic as the one you were offered. Safety is number one. I think you are making the right decision by declining the offer. Yes enjoying what you are doing is important, but being comfortable trumps everything!! :hugs:

Janie--- TEST!!! So far everything sounds really good!!

Preg_Pilot--- I am so excited for you getting the Doppler!! I wish you could post a recording of the heartbeat. That would be so cool!!

So I am doing really good today. I have to clean my house, but that also means I have to get some energy and get up from the couch!! :haha: TTC wise nothing changed. My temp is a bit high today, but I have a feeling I was laying in bed for a while only half asleep. :shrug: I hope everyone has a great day!!


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## lxb

As discussed with DH before.. we'll give it some time before we go visit a fertility specialist because I think they won't see you unless you've been ttc for some time right? (1 year?)

A friend's ex got married in May and now, 3 months later, she posted a picture of her surprised baby shower. I just knew it! I told DH back in May for her wedding picture that she looked pregnant (I guess I just have a sense) and told DH "We shall wait and see". And what do you know, I was right. She's the traditional type of girl with a traditional family. DH & I are pretty certain that the marriage are forced onto them because of the pregnancy. sigh.................... here we go again. People getting pregnant and not even trying. DH & I had nothing to say except to "sigh"~

I think DH is shaken by it and asked if we should go see a fertility specialist. His exact word.. "See how my little guys are doing" <-- :haha: cause I called his :spermy: his little guys! :haha: ... but yeah.. I dont even know where to begin. I assumed I would need to talk to my OB and get referred to?


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## Pino6161

I think OH can be checked before the 1 year if I am not mistaken but I do believe you need a referal. There is a test that you can buy online for $40 that tests male fertility. https://www.spermcheck-fertility.co...=11707883905&gclid=CPSNxtHC7LECFcNrKgodjSoAJw

I know with woman fertility you need to be TTCing for a year or hav 3 MC's which is ridiculous!!


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## lxb

thanks pino. I've seen that at a local drug store~ Maybe I'll pick one up after work today. And it certainly is ridiculous for 3MCs! DH & I just felt pretty deflated after seeing that FB post. No words coming out.. just plain "sigh"


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## lauren26

lxb - :hugs: :hugs: My OH's SA was covered and he only had to pay about $20 to get it done. The good news is that you guys are able to get pregnant, which rules out tons of testing, so I think that you're off to a good start and hopefully the testing process won't be so overwhelming if you go that route. I am sorry you had to see that FB post!! I think there should be a general ban on this thread of FB!!!! 

Treasured - SO GOOD that you did NOT take that job!!! You have to trust your gut, always, no matter what. That sounds like a very dangerous situation and I'm really glad you didn't do it. I left my job in Feb and turned down multiple offers. I was without a job for months and it definitely strained our finances. The horrible boss at my old job ended up getting fired and I was hired back in a much better position--it pays off to trust your gut! You will find the right thing. Are you going to TEST?!


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## SashimiMimi

Just dropping in to say hello over my lunch hour. I did not sleep AT ALL last night. I just kept drifting off and then sitting straight up in a complete panic. It always seems like anxiety is magnified at night, I don't know why that is. My bbs swelled up big time last night and are really sore, and that is only after 1 day of the new injections. It just really alarmed me, and then I couldn't stop thinking about work stress and how terrified I am of this whole IVF process. Sigh! I think OH is having a hard time, too. He feels a lot of pressure at work, with IVF and before bed we talked about it and he says he feels like there is no one to support him. I guess I need to remember that he needs support, too. I just feel like a complete basketcase. My favourite sunglasses that I bought down south last year got crushed in my bag this morning and I nearly burst into tears. 

Lxb, you have no idea how many people I have unfriended on FB for those PG announcements. I'm sorry you have been through a couple of situations now where your friends aren't coming forward with their news. Do they know about your situation? My co-worker here who had 2 mcs is going through the same thing. All her friends who have BFPs are not telling her and tip toeing around her. 

I'm an an FB adding rampage!! Pino I just added you, so if you get a weird request, it's me!! Anyone else who wants to connect on FB please message me with your name so I can find you!


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## lxb

lauren - thanks for the info! I guess I'll call the OB to see if I can get a referral. As I read if it's not a "diagnosed" it's not covered by the insurance. So I guess I'll call around to see how much will the total cost be. :shrug:

sashimi - sigh... you and your OH is going to be soooo much stronger by the end of this! My dh also told me before that he has no one to support him as well from the mc. And on the other hand, he needs to be strong for me. It certainly is an energy vampire that just sucks up all you have left. I lost my fav pair of sunglasses too (back in June) and I depressed for a while! It's just one of those days~~ I've posted this pic on my journal... but I'll post it here again~ The rainbow is not too far away now! 

https://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8ikylvCFU1qc4uvwo1_400.gif

On a side note -- I just added Treasured on FB too! :haha:


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## lauren26

FB rampage for me too!! PM me if you want, anyone! :) Sashimi, I am sorry--this day must be really hard!! :hugs: I wish I could pop over and cover for you so that you could take a nap for an hour or two.


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## haribo813

Sleepy i'm sorry you're having a tough time at the moment. I know how awful it is to fall out with your OH when you're going through all of this but it's so hard sometimes to both see things the same way. At least he's now taking it more seriously and is keen to get tested, there is a plus to this.

I hope you're wrong about AF coming, am keeping my fingers crossed. And totally know how you're feeling about people on multiple babies-sometimes someone else's 'good news' can put me in a sad place for a whole day at least!

Pino you made me laugh with your AF lap gag!

Treasured, any news for us?! Weird dream!

We had a bbq tonight, sausages and lots of fried onions with sourdough and salad, yum! I wish I could take you all to France with me!

Random question: does anyone ever worry that their friends and family will work out who they are on this thread or is it just me?! Sometimes I think about how frank I am and think how awful that would be. Plus you only have to search my online name in google and our whole 1000+ thread comes up! But I searched for some of yours and nothing came up. Do you know something I don't?! And am I being paranoid to worry about this?!

h xx


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## lauren26

haribo - I feel paranoid about that all the time! I am a little obvious about it, too....I REALLY don't want work to find out about my pg or BnB!!! I hope our new tech guys respect boundaries :wacko:.


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## treasured

thanks girls I have told them that I have another offer and will confirm that I dont want the job next week! you are all right somthign better will come along and I still have my job atm so its not a big RUSH. :hugs:

lauren- I went to the shops tonight for all our camping supplies and was planning on buying a test there but the only ones they had were digis and they were EXPENSIVE! rediculously! so im going to go to another superstore tomorow to get a cheaper one, it wont be FMU but Im going to hold my pee for as long as possible before taking it.... having funny tummy feelings but AF might even be upon me by tomorow! 

woohooo im glad we are all facebook up to date :D anyone else that wants to add just PM me! I was showing OH some pics of you guys today he was like isnt it strange that you are only just seeing the faces of the people that cheer you up every day?! crazy huh! (except pino) :D we were connected already hehe!! Hope everyone is good!


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## lxb

weird haribo! I searched google for haribo813, and saw 4 links to bnb! I wonder why... your name is too unique?? :haha:

and u'r not the only one that's paranoid!!


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## treasured

haribo- I feel like that ALL the time, I actually checked everyones mutual friends to make sure we didnt have any haha! I dont want anyone to know Im TTC but I dont think ive ever mentioned my name in this or anywhere on B&B but i know what you mean there is a lot of description! dont think any of my friends woud know about this site though!


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## SashimiMimi

Omg!!! Haribo!!! *runs and closes all the blinds and starts looking over shoulder* I totally use Sashimi Mimi as ALL my online handles! It was even my hotmail account name for a long time! Anyone who knows me IRL could easily connect me to that name. I've said terrible things on here about friends and former employers!! Oh well, my handle is actually the name of my favourite (now discontinued) M.A.C. lipgloss. So if you google it, the cosmetics brand is more likely to come up... I hope. I'm too scared to google it, I've said the most personal things of my life (mostly regarding my hoo haa) on here. I'm still convinced the IT guy at work who I have befriended looks at the things I surf because he randomly asked me if I was pregnant after the first time I logged on this board while at work. Too much of a coincedence!

Wheeewww... what a week. TGIF anyone? I remember growing up August used to be such a long, lazy, stress-free month. It's so unfair that we are conditioned to have entire summers off as kids, only to have to work through them as adults. 

Treasured, enjoy your down time until your perfect job comes along. I was off for a year last year and didn't enjoy it as much as I should have. I worried a lot about finding the right fit for me and also other people's opinions of me for taking time off to recover from mental and physical stress from my toxic former employer. 

I had a fertility acupuncture session last night and I think it worked wonders on my stress today. While I was still just as crazy busy, a couple of my co-workers were MAJOR grumps today and I was still under the same amount of pressure, I didn't feel the same physical feelings of stress that I did yesterday. I'm STILL very heartbroken about my sunglasses though!!! 

OH is out golfing today and doing a dinner after, so I'm on my own tonight. It's nice to have some space and be on my own. He seems to have been very good at snooping at work and found ANOTHER person who did IVF. (Last weekend I spoke with his 39-year-old colleague who did a successful IVF and said it was a breeze.) This other co-worker of his had a lot of complications and had a very, very long road to getting a BFP. He told me last night that he is really feeling the pressure in all of this and is finding it very hard to be the main supporter. I guess I get it... but he isn't the one injecting his butt, or getting eggs vacuumed out of his fallopian tubes or being the one who physically has to endure the disappointments every month! I don't think he totally understands what it is like to be the one going through it, and I don't think I totally understand what it's like to be the one standing on the sidelines totally helpless. He keeps saying what a good feeling he has about this, so I hope he is right. I hope ALL your good feelings are right! 

I live within walking distance of a McD's and am contemplating going over there. Either that I just might make a batch of cupcakes and eat those for dinner...


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## Pino6161

Sash--- I just added you to Facebook!! :dance: I am sorry you have been having such a hard time, but try to see the light at the end of this tunnel. Your BFP :hugs:. As for your OH I wonder if he would be willing to join BnB I know there are a few guys on here. My OH straight out declined it :shrug: The thing is that men in general do not like to talk about their personal lifes with anyone except their OH. I know my OH won't talk about anything serious with anyone. They feel it is weak.... I googled you and BnB did not show up!!

Haribo-- I worry about it all the time!! I just hope that no one finds it!! As for what lxb said, yes it shows up with your number, but it does not show up with just the name


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## Pino6161

So I cleaned my house today, and it smells so pretty!! :haha:


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## treasured

Bfn for me this morning ladies, oh wanted me to do it with him before he left for work and I told him it was a bad idea cause id get really upset if it was neg, but he begged so I did and it was, I got up set but held in most of my tears till he left. All he can say to me is dont cry there's always next month, and im like piss off say somthing I haven'theard ten times already! I know it's not his fault but seriously he doesn't even seem phased! Il do a long reply later sorrrry for the vent :( hope everyone is ok xx


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## preg_pilot

treasured said:


> Bfn for me this morning ladies, oh wanted me to do it with him before he left for work and I told him it was a bad idea cause id get really upset if it was neg, but he begged so I did and it was, I got up set but held in most of my tears till he left. All he can say to me is dont cry there's always next month, and im like piss off say somthing I haven'theard ten times already! I know it's not his fault but seriously he doesn't even seem phased! Il do a long reply later sorrrry for the vent :( hope everyone is ok xx

I think he´s just as upset as you are honey.
He just didn´t want to show you, that´s why he asked you to take the test before leaving for work...
:hugs:


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## haribo813

Sorry Treasured, I hope you're ok, we all know how disappointing that is.

I've just spent 10 mins trying to change my username so it's less distinctive but not having any job-any tips?! I also tried to register with a new more generic username but it wasn't having any of it, saying you might want to choose something that makes you less identifiable-yes that is exactly what I am TRYING to do but not able to at the moment! xxx


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## haribo813

...so any help greatly appreciated.

Hope you're ready to all squeeze in to head to the land of baguettes and soft cheese. I'm leaving for the airport in an hour and there are quite a lot of you so maybe go easy on those extra chips, ha ha xx


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## lauren26

LOL haribo :)

Treasured, :hugs:. I am so sorry, but I am still holding out hope for you!! AF is late, right? That's a great sign! I know you are probably feeling totally down, but I am Fxing for you!!!


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## lxb

haribo - hmm.... no idea! Contact the administrator? :shrug: Hv fun on your trip!!!!! Mmm... chips!

treasured - men! I think sometimes they just try to be strong for us and that doesn't mean they're not upset. Imagine how we would feel if they breakdown too~ Both crying our eyes our are not help us to move forward. I think one person in a couple needs to stay strong and keep the other in check and hopefully help motivate them.

My DH told me that he's just as upset as i am regarding the bfn as well as the mc. And most of the time, he's helpless when he saw me in physical pain as there's not much he can do to ease that. it certain drained him emotionally. 

I see your temp is still the same as yesterday. So hope it stays up and FX!


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- My OH is the same way every month. "next time, next time". I am sorry. I think they do get upset, but they try to not show it for us, which makes it 10 times worse. :hugs: I hope you day gets a lot better. Af still has not showed yet, right?? And your temp is still up! I really hope that this is your month, and that the tests are just trying to play with your mind and emotions. We are all here to support you and listen. :hugs:

Haribo--- You have to contact one of the administrators. Just PM one of them and explain the situation. Wobbles has been very helpful to me in the past.


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## preg_pilot

My first bump picture at 17 weeks 1 day...
Look kinda bloated... :blush:


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## Pino6161

Preg--- You don't look bloated!! :hugs: I see your bump!! :dance:


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## Pino6161

How is everyone today? My OH is home from work, so I am relaxing all day for the most part.... We are going car shopping with his parents though, so hopefully they will be buying a new car that I get to drive LOL :haha:

Other than that I am only CD 10 and waiting :shrug:

Lauren--- How are you feeling all pregnant and all??

Treasured-- I see you have not temped since Friday... What is going on?? Hopefully no AF

Sash--- How are you feeling with the IVF?? Hopefully you are more at ease with the process??

Haribo--- Have you tried talking to an admin? Have fun on vaca...

Lxb--- Where is you??

Preg--- I really do love your bump!!!


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## SleepyOwl

Preg - Love the bump!!! 

OH and I are at my parents this weekend celebrating an Indian holiday. Soo much good food that I definitely ate too much of :) I have nO idea what DPO I am - if I had to guess I would say 10 or 11. I'm on CD 22 and I had pink streaked CM two days ago but barely so I didn't really count it as spotting. Then last night I had one string of brown CM and slightly pink CM. I have never had a cycle shorter than 25 days or started spotting before CD12 so I'm def confused. Hoping it's a good sign but scared I've developed a luteal phase defect!! Do you all think that starting this new job might have affected my body more than I imagined and AF could be here super early? Ughh I hope not!


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## lauren26

Pino - Feeling sick daily, and very anxious off and on, but other than that happy! I just read an article about how difficult it is for women who have struggled with fertility to get excited and have a sense of trust once they finally get pregnant, which was validating! Overall I am happy and in my gut I know everything is OK, but still feeling those very early day nerves! I have a third set of blood work tomorrow and then they will schedule some scans. I hope you get to drive a new car, too!!

Sleepy - It is possible that the new job and any related stress (good changes can stress the body, too!) altered your hormones slightly, but it doesn't sound like AF is quite here, right? Hopefully you'll have a nice long LP and then your next cycle (in a year ;)) will be back to normal. It sounds like a temporary change!


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## lauren26

Officially started a pregnancy journal so that I'm not posting all about pg here! And I am NOT leaving this thread :) Couldn't leave my crazy ladies :hugs:. I feel silly starting it already but it seems like it's time!


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## SleepyOwl

Lauren - AF is def not here yet. Maybe she'll stay away for good this time! Spotting has stopped so that's good. I'll bring it up at my docs appt in the 29 just to be safe.


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## lauren26

Whew!! Stay away, AF!!! I am so impressed that you didn't chart this month, even if it was because of your neck and your new job and losing the thermometer and being on vacation (what a month you've had!). Is the appt on the 29th with a specialist or just a normal doctor's visit?


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## SleepyOwl

Haha when you put it that way, it does seem like a lot happened this month!! The main reason for lack of temping was the missing thermometer plus the broken AC. I never found it so I need to buy one today from CVS or Target or something. The appt is with my GP who will run some basic blood tests, then she said she will probably set up my RE appt for me if my blood results are normal. I love this doc - she's very young, kind and so understanding. 

I'm hoping that spotting was IB? Is that like a super far off hope you guys think? I just can't imagine spotting SO early when that's never happened before. If no more spotting today, then I'll prob take an HPT tomorrow just to see. I'm concerned that my body did something really whacky and I O'd on CD7 or something which would make AF right on time. Fingers crossed that's not it!!

Treasured - where are you girl?? I"m curious to know if AF ever showed!


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## lauren26

Fx that it is, too!! It's totally possible. I think that IB for most women is that very light spotting. I will anxiously await your test! :)


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## lauren26

treasured said:


> P.s. not sure if my private messages got sent right but Lauren and Sash I have added you both! Very pretty ladies! lauren you actually really remind me of one of my friends :D

Meant to say that YOU are very pretty, too (good looking thread! ;)) and that you remind me of a friend of mine in SF! Weird that we have friends who look like each other!


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## treasured

Hi ladies! Sorry I haven't updated over the weekend I was away camping/ forgetting about ttc! Thank you for all your encouragement :) So to shatter everyone's hopes af decided to appear on Fri night :/ was totally raging at first and upset but atleast I was expecting it after having the bfn! Was so glad to be occupied with camping so that I couldn't get all sorrrry for myself, haha. I am starting to thinkthat there probably is somthing wrong with me though, maybe I have endo Lauren cause I have a short lp and short cycles? Was that a sign for you? Also how are you feeling! It must be horrible worrying al the time people that arent ttc are excited and happy and we just think of the worst! But try to relax it will become more real very quickly! Also soo strange that we look like each other's friends haha!

Pino- exicting about the new car! I say just hot wire it and go for a spin round the USA! You using the monitor this month? 

Sleepy that all sounds really positive! Im excited when can you test? I hate when you get loads of symptoms and then like me a bfn you think wtf is my body trying to do!? But im hoping this id not just you body being weird and this is your month hehe!


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## lxb

preg - LOVE your bump!!

pino - how was car shopping? what kind of car are you guys thinking of getting?

sleepy - Ahh.. i looove food! Did you guys have lots of indian dishes? Mm... *drool* Anyways.. I hope it's IB! We need more bfp :rain:

lauren - yay for ms!!!! :dance: :haha: When is your next appt/scan? 

treasured - :hugs: sorry about af! :gun: at least your enjoyed your camping trip? your lp is 12, which is normal. And 27/28 days cycle is pretty normal too. 

country - where is your bump pic~~ :thumbup:

sashimi - how are you feeling today?

haribo - enjoying your vacation?? DH & I are planning a little short getaway perhaps on labor day weekend (Sept 1st) so somewhere with MUCH cooler weather~

afm, got some sharp pain on my lower right stomach this morning. wondering if I'm o-ing already?! tricky tricky body! :shrug:


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## lauren26

treasured - BOOO AF!! My biggest endo signs were super super painful periods (ever since I started getting them, really, which is a looong time ago now!), long periods with clots (sorry!) that were sometimes 7 days, 5 at the very very shortest. My periods improved a little when I started acupuncture. The other big one that most women wouldn't think of is spotting--not talking about the spotting Sleepy gets for two days or that we all get for a day before AF--like spotting that started at 5dpo and lasted a week. The short LP....I don't know! That could be something or based on a hormonal imbalance that the endo caused. Mostly I think the short LP-endo connection for me was about not being able to produce mature enough eggs/follicles whatever due to the endo in my ovaries so the progesterone never kicked in enough to make for a long LP and that probably didn't help the spotting either. Anyway, for a long time I had 28 -29 day cycles and over the last year they became 24-26. That seems significant. Sorry to ramble, but anyway the biggest sign is severe cramps during AF. That can happen, though, even if it's mild endo. 

lxb - LOL thanks! I had a blood draw this morning for 3rd beta and will find out this afternoon--these waits are killing me! LOL. I think when they call they will schedule the 6 week scan. How are YOU? Doing lots of naughty things like drinking and eating yummy cheeses this cycle while you can? And loads of coffee?? :) :wine:


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## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> treasured - BOOO AF!! My biggest endo signs were super super painful periods (ever since I started getting them, really, which is a looong time ago now!), long periods with clots (sorry!) that were sometimes 7 days, 5 at the very very shortest. My periods improved a little when I started acupuncture. The other big one that most women wouldn't think of is spotting--not talking about the spotting Sleepy gets for two days or that we all get for a day before AF--like spotting that started at 5dpo and lasted a week. The short LP....I don't know! That could be something or based on a hormonal imbalance that the endo caused. Mostly I think the short LP-endo connection for me was about not being able to produce mature enough eggs/follicles whatever due to the endo in my ovaries so the progesterone never kicked in enough to make for a long LP and that probably didn't help the spotting either. Anyway, for a long time I had 28 -29 day cycles and over the last year they became 24-26. That seems significant. Sorry to ramble, but anyway the biggest sign is severe cramps during AF. That can happen, though, even if it's mild endo.
> 
> lxb - LOL thanks! I had a blood draw this morning for 3rd beta and will find out this afternoon--these waits are killing me! LOL. I think when they call they will schedule the 6 week scan. How are YOU? Doing lots of naughty things like drinking and eating yummy cheeses this cycle while you can? And loads of coffee?? :) :wine:

Huh, I had those super duper painful cramps (passed out from them a couple of times, even missed an exam at school because of them once (woke up 3 hours after the exam was finished).
That´s why I was put on BC to begin with. I nearly never stopped on them, but usually when I did the cramps would come back within 2-3 months...
Got pregnant easily enough though...?


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## lauren26

preg - The weird thing about endo is that the severity of cramps does not always correlate with the severity of the disease. My cramps were awful and I probably had mild endo for years and years. My endo got severe and the cramps just didn't let up. If you had it I bet it was very mild since you got pregnant so easily!


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## lxb

lauren26 said:


> How are YOU? Doing lots of naughty things like drinking and eating yummy cheeses this cycle while you can? And loads of coffee?? :) :wine:

Ahh... I think my body is gearing up for O! CM was sticky yesterday.. and today was sticky/watery-ish! I bet the sharp pain on the right belly area was Oing sign~ Along with some pain on right bb! :haha: I'm so tempted to jump on DH tonight!! :wacko: (it would be almost 3 weeks since the d&c. Hmm... should i?? Dont' want to risk any infection though~ :shrug: is +/- 7 days okay? well.. in this case -7! :haha: cuz the doc said nothing in hoo ha for 4 weeks after d&c! Or maybe we'll be too tired from jogging :haha:)

Oooh yes~ I've been stuffing my face with sub (from port of subs) for the first few weeks when I was taking the medication! And some sushi too! Mm.. ice coffee (McD's Hazelnut Ice Coffee!!! YUM!)~~


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## lauren26

MMMMM I definitely didn't bring enough snacks to work today!! My mouth is watering thinking about the subs...


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## treasured

lxb - thank you for the reasurance :) yeahh I think my LP was actually even 12/13 days. (do you count spotting as CD1)? that confuses me haha. but I just get confusd cause ive had a 10 day LP before and thought they couldnt change :S. sounds good to have a get a way!! quality time to yourself :) you could well be Oing early cause of all thats happened your body might just be thinking what the heck lets just go for it haha! 

lauren - i know i WISH she had taken a nice holiday with yours! ahhh well to be honest I dont really have any of those symptoms, I used to have painful cramps but they arent bad now, like maybe a couple of minutes of pain and then its fine? is it normal to have a varying cycle length, like 26,27,28 days? I also dont have spotting except for the day before AF and even that is for jsut a few hours before full flow. I guess I just kinda wish there was a reason behind not getting pregnant, but then I could be like pino which is unexplained :( must be so difficult (hugs for pino if your reading this). BUT it goes to show that it can happen cause look at you lauren all pregs :D :D. I WISH we could all meet up and feel preg country and laurens bumps for luck ! 

forgot to mention that when we were camping (with my friend and his girlfriend) I had a lot of time to talk to her cause the guys were away being guys, and she is actually a bit older than me, 25 and we were taling about having kids, which was nice cause she could relate. I didnt tell her I was TTC but I could tell she wouldnt judge me if I had. it was really nice cause none of my friends are in that situation yet so it was good to have someone else with the same dream! shed recently thought she was pregnant but thinks it may have been ectopic :( I could tell she would have really loved to have been pregnant. 

annnywayyyy.. where is everyone at. just want to share big love to everyone and remind you all of how much I appreciate you all :) xxx


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## lauren26

treasured - 12 is still a normal LP length! And varying cycle length is totally normal :) I think that when cycles start getting shorter than 25 or 24 days that's it. And I totally understand that you want a reason for not being pregnant yet, though I assure you you don't want endo! ;) How many months have you tried? I wonder if it's something simple. Have you been able to see a specialist? Can't remember if it's you or haribo who couldn't because of your young age.


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## treasured

yeahh thats true! I dont really want endo haha! well I started like NTNP back in november after coming off the implant... I wondered if that had done somthing to me but i doubt it. Used OPKS some months and tried to BD around O since like january but not as religiously as pino this month haha! havent realy kept track of things and only started temping as of last cycle as you know :). so overall we have been going at it for 10 months :\. yeahh it was me that said because Im young, the health service over hear will only support procedures such as IVF if you are over 23 and I think they are pretty strict on the 'year of trying before tests' thing... and because Im young the only response I get is 'oh your young just give it time' ugh. Im gonna have to go to the doctors soon though, gonna leave it till the year mark I think though.


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## countrygirl86

treasured - just wanted to let you know that sometimes there is no 'normal' for cycle lengths lol From the time I went off the pill I had varying lengths from 22 to 48 days! Somehow I still got pregnant. 

preg - cute bump! Are you going to start doing weekly pics?

lxb - No bump pics yet but I'll post them in my journal when there's something to show :) You totally got my mouth watering too!

Pino - I love car shopping! But I hate the haggling part lol 

Sleepy - it's sounding good for you this cycle! Are you going to start temping again when you get the thermometer? 

Summer is nearing an end! Does anyone have any fun plans coming up? I'm working on DH to plan a babymoon since we'll be done the house he's building at the end of this month and I'd love to go away in September.


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## haribo813

Bad luck Treasured, there was me thinking this was your month, still you've picked yourself up girl, that's the spirit! Glad you could speak to someone about TTC, so important to actually chat about it sometimes I find. I wouldn't get too caught up on the whole year TTC you know-so much is about finding the right person-I was lucky. I am older but they started tests at 9 months.

Sleepy, really hoping it's implantation bleeding. I had it once and it came to nothing but it's good that yours has now stopped-mine kept going steadily til AF showed which was a bit weird. Envious of all your amazing Indian food!

Lauren glad all well with you, hope you're not feeling too queasy. So exciting! Great you've started a journal too. (How do we read that?! As you can all tell, am not very good at computery things!)

Lxb - glad you've got the non-pregnancy foods out of the system, now you're good to go! Hope you still have some energy after that jog!

Pino - how are you getting on? Hope you're alright.

Country you should totally have a babymoon-how exciting OH has built a house, wow, that's brilliant!

Preg-thanks for sharing bump pic!

Sashimi, thinking of you and your massive needle. Hope you're feeling ok. Keep the faith my lovely.

I'm back from France-was only there from Friday night until Sunday afternoon! It was so worth it, was amazingly well looked after by my lovely family and enjoyed dips in the pool. And actually quite enjoyed travelling on my own-is that weird? It was much more relaxing! Missed OH but think there's something in the old phrase absence making heart grow fonder sometimes. London is HOT HOT HOT at the mo, very humid, we aren't used to it. I've got a fan in the room to keep cool but swelter at work in our old buildings with no air con. I've got an interview for the job I want! And a week to prepare, I am so happy-I know I still have quite a bit of work to do but the radio silence on hearing back was worrying me!

Am going to start acu again next cycle plus try chinese herbs for the first time. That really will get me dreaming about nice food-isn't it meant to taste disgusting?! AF was due today but I ovulated really late so if I can cling on until Thursday, I'll test, otherwise forget it! Time will tell xxx


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## lauren26

haribo - Woohoo on the interview!! Good luck! When is it so we can think of you? So jealous of your France weekender!! You are strong with not testing--I have never ever been that strong! Also, you can just click the thing that says Journal under all my posts. 

country - YAY for babymoon!! So glad you are doing that :)

treasured - I definitely think that the charting will give you more info and hopefully get you your BFP! Most docs here want people to wait until the one year mark to be tested, and I think that's totally a reasonable timeline! You bounced back well, like haribo said, from AF :) You need this one, too: :wine:


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## SleepyOwl

Country - How fun!! Do you have any ideas where you and OH would want to go? I have no fun plans anymore - just working and waiting for Thanksgiving, lol! My fave holiday ever!! I'm definitely going to start temping as soon as AF arrives. It's frustrating not knowing exactly when she's going to show.

Lauren - Now that you're preggers, you have to load up on the snacks and feed that bean! How are you feeling? Still nauseous or managing it? Glad you were able to relax a bit with OH yesterday and get a nap in. Make sure you're taking good care of yourself girl!

Treasured - So sorry about AF. She is just the worst! Just my opinion, but I never count spotting as CD1. My first day where I have an actual flow is what I consider as CD1. It always confuses me too - like is this heavy enough spotting to be a flow or is it just spotting? So annoying!

Haribo - Ahh what a fun weekend trip. Sounds like you had an amazing time!! I wish I lived close enough to do a trip like that. The best I can do is sit on my couch, eat a bunch of brie and drink a bottle of wine by myself :blush: I hope AF stays far away girl!

Lxb - Yay for your body being back to it's normal self. Do you think you'll take the risk and jump OH?? I know it's hard to resist, but don't hurt yourself okay?? You know what's best, but I had to throw out my best doctorly advice :) Lol!!

How's everyone else doing? Pino, Sashimi? Anything new with you two? 

I have a feeling I'm out this month. Still spotting - by that I mean when I wipe it's pink sometimes. Usually that happens before AF shows; it just happened a lot earlier this cycle (9DPO as opposed to 12/13DPO). I had the WORST cramps in the middle of the night last. Like serious first day of AF cramps. Luckily she didn't show, but I just know she is lurking - planning the most inopportune time to strike. Like when I choose to wear a khaki dress at work and have forgotten all panty liners and tampons in my other purse. She's vengeful like that. Still though, I am PRAYING like a mad woman that by some miracle this spotting is nothing and that I'm pregnant.


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## lauren26

Sleepy - Still holding out for you! :) Nausea seems to be at the beginning and end of the day, and I am managing it but also seem to throw up at least once a day. Not too bad, though!


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## Pino6161

Hey everyone... Just a quick update from me. We didn't get a car as the place was closed. I think they decided on an expedition or an explorer :shrug: Probably this weekend. Nothing else really, I have been trying to stay busy to keep TTC off the mind!

Treasured--- I am sorry about AF. I am not using the monitor as it never seemed to pinpoint my O. I was wasting money for no reason.

All of my Dr's and researching says NOT to count spotting as CD1. Full flow should be CD1

Hopefully I will be on tomorrow, and I can finishing reading!! :hugs:


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## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> preg - The weird thing about endo is that the severity of cramps does not always correlate with the severity of the disease. My cramps were awful and I probably had mild endo for years and years. My endo got severe and the cramps just didn't let up. If you had it I bet it was very mild since you got pregnant so easily!

Yea. I probably didn´t have it, but I never had it checked. I´m just glad it all worked out so smoothly :)



countrygirl86 said:


> treasured - just wanted to let you know that sometimes there is no 'normal' for cycle lengths lol From the time I went off the pill I had varying lengths from 22 to 48 days! Somehow I still got pregnant.
> 
> preg - cute bump! Are you going to start doing weekly pics?
> 
> lxb - No bump pics yet but I'll post them in my journal when there's something to show :) You totally got my mouth watering too!
> 
> Pino - I love car shopping! But I hate the haggling part lol
> 
> Sleepy - it's sounding good for you this cycle! Are you going to start temping again when you get the thermometer?
> 
> Summer is nearing an end! Does anyone have any fun plans coming up? I'm working on DH to plan a babymoon since we'll be done the house he's building at the end of this month and I'd love to go away in September.

Thanks and Yep, I'll be taking pics every saturday/sunday from now on :)


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## lxb

treasured - yep~ i'm always confused too. but I let ff does the work! And it shows cd1 for those non-spotting days~

sleepy - FX!!

pino - hv fun car shopping this weekend! at least the weather will be cooler? hehe...

Not sure if you gals remember about a friend of mine that I said isn't telling me that she's pregnant while her other friends know? But anyways... I have this friend of mine whom I suspected is pregnant (but i didn't want to ask her as I would hate to be asked if I wasn't ready to tell or wasn't pregnant). And that she has posted something like she was woken up by hunger, no longer like to eat shrimp, and her post yesterday was that she finds cutting her toenails harder and harder as days go by~ A friend of hers (guess she didn't know) said, "Ah? Are you?!".. then she just responded with a smiley face. So! I guess all are confirmed and I msg her with a "Congrats?" So ... as it turns out... we would've have the same due date! She is now ~16 weeks along. I then told her my story and she mentioned she suspected I was pregnant too. Anyways, I'm soooo happy and excited for her as I know she has been ttc for a pretty long time.

afm, dh & I BDed last night (wohoo! 3 wks after d&c)~~ :haha: surprised we still have energy after our jog! But we didn't finish the ttc-way though~ Even though I'm pretty sure that I'm Oing... I feel okay about it as I've previously said I wanted to wait for one more regular AF.


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## lauren26

lxb - Woohoo for safe BD! ;) It's so great that you connected with your friend despite feeling hurt that she didn't tell you initially. You are a great lady! :hugs:


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## Pino6161

OK so I finally got through it all :haha:

SleepyOwl--- I&#8217;m really hoping that AF stays away, and all the spotting and cramping is impantation!! After all the crap this month you surely deserve it!!

Lauren--- Sorry you were not feeling well, but atleast you have a bun in the oven :hugs: It is so weird seeing the pregnancy journal in you siggy :haha:

Treasured--- Sorry AF showed :hugs: But at least camping distracted you!!

Lxb--- I am jealous of you getting away labor day weekend. I am so jealous of your cooler weather!! Yaaayyy for the BD!!! :dance:

CountryGirl!! You have an avocado now!!! :dance:

Haribo--- My fingers are crossed for you!! :hugs:


So I have a bad feeling. It&#8217;s good for everyone else but&#8230;. Anyways the feeling is that all you guys are going to get your BFP&#8217;s and I&#8217;m gonna be staring at a blank thread cause you all have moved on. I know it sounds stupid :shrug: but I just have this bad feeling that I am not going to be able to have kids. IDK hopefully it is just a mood. 

So up until now me and OH have just been putting off saving for the move. Yesterday it kinda hit us that it is in 6 months!! It is time to buckle down. We have been buying stuff for the move so we are starting fresh. I think we need it!!


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## SashimiMimi

*Stomps into crazy lady thread* *tosses purse across room* *slumps down onto couch in a huff with arms crossed* *total unimpressed expression on face* Ladies!! I've HAD it! I've ABSOLUTELY. HAD. IT. 

I had quite possibly the most stressful week last week and it is continuing into this week and it's only TUESDAY!! I would say the honeymoon period of my new job is over. I've been making mistakes because I just can't focus with the looming IVF and with how lousy the injections make me feel. I also get nagged for being too slow with my work for trying to slow down and NOT make mistakes. 

Today a male friend at work told me how he had dinner with his guy friend last night and that this said friend is starting to TTC. (Good f--king luck!) Then he told me his brother is expecting a baby and he is so excited to be an uncle, oh and they weren't even trying. I immediately burst into tears and stormed off (even though this interaction occurred at MY desk!) I later emailed the friend to say that I'm incredibly stressed at work and have a surgical procedure next week that I am quite stressed about. He told me that I didn't need to explain and proceeded to avoid me for the rest of the day.

I've felt quite a lot of discomfort with the injections. My left ovary until this point has been very sore and I've felt just overall uncomfortable. Today I feel everything is totally swollen and it actually hurts to get up and down from my chair. I'm convinced I can actually feel my ovaries through my skin. 

I had to stay at work rather late, and when I tried to go home the subway shut down in every damn direction. I couldn't get on a streetcar either because they were all packed! So I finally managed to hail a cab, and of course the cab driver was nuts. Swerved all through traffic, he was practically driving on the sidewalks!! After nearly 2 hours, I made it one in one piece. Incredibly annoying after an incredibly trying day. 

Pino, I wake up feeling like you every day. Hearing my friend's story about his brother expecting made me feel exactly like that. I actually contemplated standing on my desk at that moment and screaming "I'VE HAD IT!!! I. HAVE. HAD. IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The only person who would have understood would be my HR person, who had the 2 mcs, as she sits right outside my desk. But when you look at Lauren as an example, she had stage 5 endo, cycts, a polyp, all those things to an outsider would sound like game over. But with the miracle of medical technology, they removed it and a BFP came like that! You have got to trust that what ever is wrong with you CAN and WILL be fixed. My OH asked our doctor at what point will he fire us and tell us that he can't help. He said that rarely, if ever, happens. 

Lxb I'm glad you smoothed things over with your friend. I find BFP announcements on FB so hard, especially now. They pop up every day and I think I've unsubscribed from 75% of my friends list.

I'll have to log on later and catch up on the rest of the board. I'm totally exhausted and am up at 5:45 again tomorrow to go back to the clinic. 

Thank you ladies for letting me come on here and feel totally sorry for myself!! I am amazed at how over the past 6 months or so how different our TTC paths have gone. We have experienced so many different things as individuals, but our ultimate goal brings us together with this amazing bond.


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## lxb

sashimi - :hugs: !!!!!!!!!!! Let it all....OUT! That's what this crazy lady thread is for!!

I've told DH that sometimes I feel like this crazy lady thread can be a movie itself~ Amazing women from different parts of the world... with their own stories .. own paths... and we are brought together in this very thread because of one common goal. Our sticky baby.

:hugs:


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## lauren26

Pino - You are right!! And it is weird to see the signature, though I'm getting used to it :) I will never understand the way this world works!! I, for one, will never leave you or any of these ladies. I love you all so much and COULDN'T leave you! You will get pregnant. :hugs:

Sashimi - I wish I could jump through this computer and give you a huge hug and punch your FB right in the face!! It is so unfair and ridiculous how stressful work can be at the most critical times, and at the exact moments that it shouldn't be! I wrote you an email, but I just want to say again that I really know that all of this will pay off, and that I wish it could be way way way way easier for you and for everyone here! I wish we could all meet up and give each other huge hugs! Our bond on this thread IS incredible and we all have such different stories. You started one amazing thread and are chiefly responsible for this awesome bond between us all! I say come on here and vent every single day if you want :hugs:, that's what we're here for! I can't wait for you to have those eggs out so your tender tummy can get some relief!...At least for a few weeks ;)


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks Lauren and Lxb. Yes, this COULD be a movie!! There has been some mega drama in here between everything that has gone on for each and every one of us. I don't know if I mentioned this, but I actually went beszerk a couple weeks ago and asked my OH to move out. We were both TOTALLY stressed out and he just didn't have an outlet, so I felt he was lashing out at me. I called the doctor's office and the nurse told me to tell him to cut it out, because added stress at home was the last thing I needed. LOL! Well ever since I told him, he has been wonderful (for the most part). I know he finds this difficult and it's tough for our OHs to be on the sidelines, helpless. 

So back to our movie, I have noticed there are a lot of TV shows and movies about pregnancy, giving birth and babies. Like those Teen Mom shows, and there is that documentary of babies in different parts of the world. The other day I caught some weird show called One Born Every Minute. I dont know what it was about, pregnancy I guess, because there was this teen couple in the hospital in labour. The thing is these teens seemed a little mentally challenged, but they might have just been hillbillies. I was like THEY are having a baby? And I haven't yet? They were telling a story to the camera about how they are now learning to look after themselves and wanted to make Hamburger Helper but couldn't figure out why the "hamburger" was not included in the box. So I switched the channel before I thought any more derogatory thoughts. 

So why isn't there a reality show about infertility? Working as a journalist, I do have several connections in the media world. I wonder if I should consider pitching such a show! LOL! We have learned that there are so many different paths. I really thought when I started this thread it would be all of us temping and charting, then timing it right and getting a bfp. I had NO idea that I would be this heavily involved in assisted conception. It's nuts to me, it doesn't make any sense in my life, but I'm going along for the ride.


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## Pino6161

Sash--- I watch Teen Mom. IDK cause I bitch and yell at them through the tv :haha: I understand how hard it is :hugs: Hopefully the discomfort is normal :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi - let it all out girlfriend!! You have a lot on your plate!! I'm with Lauren - wish I could give you a hug and punch your Facebook at the same time. I always wonder why there's not an infertility/ttc show. Like something to show people the real deal!! Anyway girl, I hope you get some much needed rest tonight!!

I'm still spotting by the way. Either come already or dont show your face for 36 weeks!!


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## haribo813

*Disclaimer: this post doesn't fight the fact that this is, essentially a crazy lady post*

Oh girls, I feel the pain. Sashimi, I have days when I am teary, feel really vulnerable and SO ANGRY at everyone else who rocks up with a bean in their tum without even trying. I feel like saying you're being very rude, please stand in the line with the rest of us! You poor thing Sashimi, it is not on to have a tough time at work, at home (a while back), find energy to BD, have to make so much extra time for IVF and also get less sleep as a result. Try and take care of yourself and go to bed early, you really need it.

I got spotting yesterday (CD30 today) and my temp dropped from 36.8 to 36.4 and it's still 36.4 today (i.e from 98.24 to 97.52). Really hoping it's a low and will jump back up again tomorrow with no more spotting but I do this denial thing every month! Plus I had a couple of drinks last night as I felt like why the hell not so if anything this would have raised my temp today! Wished I hadn't though, not drunk for ages and feel seriously ropey today and have 3 morning meetings. Aaaah, come on lucky month 13, am not sure I can handle the dinner guests we have tomorrow night otherwise-a really sweet, good friend with a crazily long cycle who got pregnant 1st month and is now 7.5 months along while I am going into my 14th month. We've both been going out with OH for over 10 years and got married within 2 months of each other. Why isn't my life moving on to the next chapter like everyone else's is?! Lots of things about life aren't fair I know but my patience is thinning.

My interview's next Tue so need to get on with the prep. When AF properly shows I have to go in for my tests to the fertility specialist in next few days so will keep you updated-I just love being examined internally while having AF.

Lxb, glad you now know for sure about your friend. Hope it's not too sad about you both having same due dates. This happened to a friend of mine recently who lost her baby and the other friend has gone on to carry it to full term. Of course you're happy for them but am sure it's a little sad too and sounds like you are able to cope with this, well done you as suer it isn't easy.

Sleepy-totally with you, if you're coming, come, if not, take that world the round trip AF and back off!

Don't worry Pino, no one's leaving anyone. And I've had that nightmare too so think we all feel like it.

xxxxx


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## countrygirl86

This is one of the most complicated, frustrating and exciting times in our lives. It's amazing to think we all came on here in March (?) and grew these bonds and friendships. Now I can't imagine not having all of you to talk to and go through this journey with! I really do have faith everyone, EVERYONE will get their BFP. All of our stories will be different and unique, just like us. And someday we could try to meet up, with or without kids and husbands/partners! Hope I'm not getting ahead of myself!

lxb - atta girl gettin some lovin! You do whatever you think is best, it would be very hard to go that long without some BDing! You are so strong to deal with your friend that way. Your rainbow baby will come and it will be perfect timing for all of you. Let's do this movie!

Pino - you definitely won't be left on here, we'll just have to move the whole thread over to the pregnancy ones :) I hear ya on saving money, it's starting to hit me that we need to save money for when I'm off work. Do you have a place to move to already?

Sashimi - Does your work have any short-term leave or do you have any holidays you could use? I wish people could be more sensitive when talking about TTC. Some people think anyone who has difficulty TTC aren't trying hard enough or it's just not meant to be. OR they just have no clue what others might be going through and throw BFPs and babies in your face. I wish I could jump through your computer at work and punch that guy out! Jerk! I hope you know that this is exactly what we are all here for, to be your sounding boards and supporters. Your post made me picture us sitting in a circle like in an AA meeting lol Retrieval time is coming up next week? I know it's painful for you but I'm totally excited by it all, it's so amazing to think what's going to happen.

haribo - DH quit his job as an electrician 2 years ago to pursue housebuilding and loves it! It can be quite stressful but seeing him happy at the end of it is worth it. I'm glad you had a fantastic trip! I agree with the absense statement, it's just hard to leave but it's always nice to come home :) Good luck with this interview!

lauren - do you think you'll do a babymoon?

Sleepy - DH wants to go to Orlando again (we were there in February) but he's taking over planning this trip so I won't know many details! He's even going to talk to my boss about time off :winkwink: Your thanksgiving is way late, it's almost Christmastime then! Ours is in October when the weather is still nice :) I'm hoping you are pg too, nothing is impossible as we've all learned!

We find out boy or girl on September 12! Got to hear the heartbeat yesterday, sounded like a little boy toy gun noises "pew pew pew" lol Hard to believe summer is nearing an end but there's only exciting things coming up for all of us :hugs:


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## Pino6161

Country--- The plan is I will go up in December and look at places. The scary part is neither of us has been to Oklahoma, and my OH won't go up until we actually move. When we do we will spend about a week living with my parents. We want to get a small apartment just to start out until we figure out the area. So No we have no idea just what we see and find online. We have found an apartment complex not to far from my parents.

So it looks like we all have been a bit of an emotional time lately :hugs: all around

It is pouring here!! I love the rain, and hopefully it will bring on cooler weather!!


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Gang! I thought I would pop in and say hello as my day at work winds down. I had a ridiculously long wait at my clinic this morning, not sure what the hold up was but I didn't get to work until after 10 a.m. I go back tomorrow and my doctor is actually going to perform the ultrasound himself. This makes me feel really confident that I'm in good hands and they are paying extra careful attention. 
I have 18 follicles now, but one is already mature. They will have to let that one go in order to let the rest catch up. They said everything else looks great, so fingers crossed that it all keeps going smoothly. 
I feel a bit better today as I've actually had some time to catch my breath. I will be taking Monday and Tuesday off and then working from home Wednesday-Friday next week. My work has been very supportive about my "procedure" and only my HR person knows exactly what is going on. Some people have been inquisitive and asked if I am okay, I feel bad but this is a very delicate procedure and it IS technically surgery. I'm expected to lay low for a couple of days after the retrieval and then the transfer will be 3-5 days after. It seems like such a long road to get to the actual transfer, eggs have to fertilize and then become embryos... So I am taking it one day at a time. 

Haribo good luck with the job interview!!! What is going on with the fertility clinic you were meant to see?


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## lauren26

Sashimi - I am getting so excited for you!! Do you have to take time off after the transfer, too? I really think it's great that work and the HR person have been so acommodating. People asked me like crazy what was going on after my lap and I just politely said I preferred not to talk about it. Hopefully you don't get pestered too much.


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## haribo813

Glad it's going so well Sashimi and you've got a bit of down time next week.

My period showed today so I'm throwing my hat into the ring and admitting defeat for this month. On to month 14... I rang the clinic today to tell them it had come and they want to re-do blood tests so am going in on Friday afternoon and they will also check my ovarian reserve (am scared about that). OH going in for another sperm test, (his 1st was fine but they want to do it again) then we will see a specialist and see what they say. The other iron in the fire we have is seeing this lady who specialises in not just western medicine but also acupuncture and herbs so have appt to see her later in Sept-I postponed it a bit so we should have all the feedback from our fertility specialist about what is/isn't wrong with us and hopefully she'll be able to use that to prescribe what we need. That's if she doesn't reject me for being too young and not trying for long enough-she deals with lots of women in their late 30s.

Am feeling a bit low but not too bad. Not sure how will cope this weekend with dinner tomorrow at ours with couple who are almost full term and got preggo so quickly and people we're spending most of weekend with who are also pregnant. I am encircled by pregnant people and some days it's fine and some days it isn't and I get teary and feel really sad.

xxxxx


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## Pino6161

Haribo--- I get the same feeling constantly. I feel like I am running out of time. I know it sounds stupid as I am only 22 but my brother has his first child and he is only 19. My OH's family is done with having kids. I feel like everyone is looking at us waiting. They have even starting dropping hints. It feels like I am punched in the stomach every time I see a pregnant woman, or young children. :cry: It just gets harder as time passes but we have to be strong. 

I know me and OH have agreed to putting off seeing another Dr until the move, but I am getting really impatient.


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## lauren26

Haribo - I am sorry she showed :hugs:, but I am so glad you're seeing a doc and that you'll see that awesome Chinese medicine acupuncture woman--it sounds like you are in good hands and I feel confident that you'll get good information and help soon! Are you looking forward to your interview?

Pino - :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: I know it sounds cheesy, but being in therapy during this journey has really helped me. I really feel for you getting the constant pressure from family and wish that we could all be there IRL and have a crazy lady thread slumber party. I totally get your impatience around seeing a doctor. It's pretty expensive without insurance, but maybe there is a naturopath that would be cheaper?


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## Pino6161

What is a Naturopath?


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## lauren26

Like a chiropractor or holistic doctor.


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## Pino6161

I'm not sure. I may have to look into it though.

How are you feeling ??


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## treasured

Haribo - sorry about af showing! Why cant she just get lost with all the rest of ours! Atleast your spotting lead to af and not some other weird reason :s hope you feel a bit better ad think of the doctors as a step forward! One which I need to take soon! 

Pino- I know what you mean about hating seeing pregnant women or kids! I dont feel to much pressure but im scared that if it's not happening at our most fertile age theb what the hell is wrong :( 

Sash- I know we spoke on fb but just wanted to share hugs with you again and hope the next visits to the docs go more smoothly! You dont need to share anny more than you need to at work either! 

Lauren- so excited reading your journal. Andhappy thatyou have the dark lines you needed hehe! How are you feeling? I don't mind hearing about how it's going for you on this thread as long as the other ladies are fine we are still your crazy sisters haha!! 

As for me my temps are a lot lower as im doing it much earlier but should still see as increase around o! Me and oh had amazing lovin last night and I was really happy cause it was the first time in a while I hadn't thought about getting the right position or holding my legs up or making a baby! We were just us for then! Made it so much better! :) my dog is currently lying on me and he's heavy and snoring haha so im going to shove him of! Night ladies peace and love x


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## SleepyOwl

Treasured - Glad you were able to get back to the good old fashioned stuff instead of TTC lovin lol. It gets so mechanical sometimes around O, but I love when it's natural and fun like that!

Haribo - Soo sorry AF showed. I'm hoping your doctor's appointment will bring you some answers and get you that BFP soon! I'm following in your path - AF showed today and have my doc's appt next Weds. Fingers crossed for both of us.


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## lauren26

Sleepy and Haribo - To BOTH your AF's : :bike: I am really glad that you two will be getting answers from a doctor soon and I just know your BFPs will follow close behind :hugs:.

Pino - I feel absolutely nothing today, lol, which always worries me but then my symptoms return ten fold a few days later. It's weird. I am feeling a little down and stressed today, and am really glad the weekend is coming! Do you and OH have any plans? I hope he doesn't have to work all weekend!!

and Treasured! - Thanks :hugs:. I said above, but today I feel nothing!! I am having a hard time managing my emotions and really orienting to what's happening, but I'm getting there slowly. I am soooooooooo glad it's almost the weekend! SO great that you and OH got some old fashioned whoopie without all the bells and whistles! ;) Your dog sounds adorable!


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## treasured

Thanks sleepy :) so sorry af got you but I guess it's time to get the ball rolling with the docs! Hope it all goes well and there can be an easy solution :) do you know if your ovulating? 

Lauren- ahhh I would be the exact same id wana be throwing up everyday just for clarity haha! Soon as you have your scan and hear the heartbeat im sure you will feel more confident! It's hard to trust just 2 lines to prove there's sonthing cooking in there!


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## treasured

also, somthing funny/really annoying haha: I watched big fat greek wedding last night and it was hilarious and I was loving it, until I saw the full rage of my TTC troubles coming out at the end haha. When she is talking about her life after marriage and she says, "a second later I was pregnant" LOL. I was like... when in any film would they say "a year and a half after constant trying with charts OPKS and doctors appointments I got pregnant"! it actually annoyed me quite a lot just because of the sheer lac of awareness of infertility.... I guess I was just getting a bit too involved. annywayyy haha


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## Pino6161

Treasured---- It's frustrating huh?? Everywhere we turn while growing up when we are dating etc. there are hints that getting pregnant is a breeze. In school thehy hint at how simple it is, you watch friends in HS get knocked up, and when it comes to trying, it is not simple at all!


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## lauren26

treasured - I recently watched "Friends with Kids" (might have already said that on here) where two friends decide to have a kid together, get drunk one night, and scene cuts to her in the delivery room!! It made me soooo mad! I feel like there are tons and tons of people struggling with fertility right now that it's just not an accurate representation of how this stuff really goes. Anyway, I feel you! Even though I'm pregnant I feel irritated by it, lol! I have always felt sad that I grew up so uninformed about ovulation etc etc and thought that any and every time I had sex I _would _get pregnant. It can feel really isolating until you find sites like BnB!! I am grateful every day for you ladies.


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## SleepyOwl

treasured said:


> when in any film would they say "a year and a half after constant trying with charts OPKS and doctors appointments I got pregnant"! it actually annoyed me quite a lot just because of the sheer lac of awareness of infertility.... I guess I was just getting a bit too involved. annywayyy haha

:rofl:


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## Pino6161

They totally should!!! :rofl:


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## SashimiMimi

My retrieval is tomorrow! Wish me luck ladies, I'm very nervous!!


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## preg_pilot

SashimiMimi said:


> My retrieval is tomorrow! Wish me luck ladies, I'm very nervous!!

good luck sash :hugs:


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## lauren26

Will be thinking of you!! I know everything will go great :)


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## lxb

Tomorrow shall be a great day! Will be thinking about you and And like lauren said, everything will be great :hugs:


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## SleepyOwl

Thinking if you Sashimi!!!


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## Pino6161

Good luck Sash!! You will do great!! You will be in my thoughts :hugs: Let us know after to make sure you are ok!! :hugs:


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## treasured

lauren- ive seen that film too! it annoyed me as well.... I think they could make a really deep film around infertility, maybe not a rom com though hahaa :)

sashimi- GOOD luck! eerything will be fine and this step is just what you need to get going on the journey to your bfp :D happy thoughts and hugs are being sent your way! xxx


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## haribo813

Hey girls, just wanted to update you on how my dr's visit went. I had a swab, a scan and blood tests done. The scan was a bit grim mid AF and with male doctor-thanks for the warning guys! But they showed me my womb and ovaries on screen which was quite cool. It did feel like there should be a baby in there though, I'm so used to seeing scan pictures of bumps! Anyway, apparently if you have 5 follicles in each ovary in a given month, that's good. Well I have 10 in each ovary at the mo so that can only be good. Next steps are OH doing a test again and us both seeing a specialist on Fri 21 Sept to discuss next steps.

I have spent a whole weekend surrounded by pregnant friends but feel fine about it. Now I am ploughing on with interview prep for tomorrow-can't say I am looking forward to it but will be glad to get it over with. It's a bank holiday in UK today so am grateful for that!

Hope all is well with everyone. Sashimi, all the luck in the world for today-hope it goes really well and let us know!

How is everyone else doing? Sleepy, when's your appt? You are hot on my heels! Lauren hope you're feeling pregnant but not too nauseous! Pino, what's new with you? And Country, how long until you find out the sex now?! Treasured hope you're still enjoying some nice lovin' with OH!

xxxx


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## treasured

haribo- soo glad your appointment went 'quite' well haha, except from the AF male doctor thing! But great news about your follicles! If you're double what is needed then that can only be amazing?! Im sure OH will be fine and there will be a simple way to help you guys out! Glad you're not feeling to bummed out by the pregnant friends! Maybe it will bring you luck your ovaries will see all those preggers ladies and think right we need to pop a good one out! Haha! And gooood luck for tomorrow! Seems like a few of us are in job situations at the moment, you'll do great :) I dont get this bank holiday off, im going to work in a minute :(. I do plan on getting some major lovin on this week hehe cause we have quite a lot of time together (for once right around O!) xx


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## lxb

Haribo - being around pregnant friends can be hard sometimes. Hope those pregnant dust are rubbing off onto you! :)

Sashimi - thinking about you! Hope you are feeling okay :hugs:

Treasured - nice!! It's always great to spend extra time together during o time because that could just be your ticket to your bfp! :thumbup:

Lauren - is it next week yet??


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Ladies. I did my retrieval yesterday and it all went really well. Being consciously sedated was such a surreal experience, I felt totally out of it all day yesterday. OH got to be in the room, but apparently I was screaming out in pain the entire time and he fainted!!! They made him go on the corner and lie on the floor during the whole thing. I was really pleased and was feeling really optimistic because they got 14 eggs!

Well the bad news came about an hour or two ago. I got my fertilization results and they are not good at all. Out of the 14 eggs, 9 were good enough to work with. So they did ICSI (which is manually injecting the sperm into the egg) on 5 eggs and only 1 survived. And then they allowed 4 eggs to try and fertilize naturally and only 2 survived. The remaining eggs were unusable. So after all that we ONLY got 3 eggs!!! 

The clinic told me flat out it is not a good result and not what they were hoping for. You want to have a higher number of eggs because even after fertilization, they don't always all survive. I am beyond devastated and have literally been on the floor sobbing uncontrollably for the past 2 hours. 

I don't think I can even describe to you what I have put my body through over the past month. What taking all those injections has done, how crappy its made me feel, the emotional highs and lows, the strain on my marriage, the financial burden, and for what? 3 eggs that may or may not survive until Wednesday! I know 3 eggs is better than none, and the woman I met at the fertility group who goes to my doctor only had 2 eggs and IVF worked for her. 

But basically, we will have no eggs to freeze. We have one shot and one shot only should those eggs survive to my transfer date on Wednesday. I actually feel like I just want to curl up and die right now. This really sucks and there isn't a damn thing anyone can do about it!


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## lxb

dear sashimi... wish i could give you real life hugs right now! There's no words I can use to describe my emotions for you. I'm crossing EVERYTHING i've got for those eggs to be good for your egg transfer date.. and it will soon to be your perfect little bean and baby~ :hugs: I have good feelings on this for you. Aug 29th is one of our good family friend's birthday.. and it shall be a great date! :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks LXB. I just wrote and heard back from that woman I met at the fertility group. She only had 7 eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized and 2 made it to transfer. This actually gives me very little hope that we will make it to the transfer. 

So I'm officially in the middle of a meltdown. I told OH that I can't live a life, where we go to work, come home, try to figure out dinner, OH plays hockey, we go to sleep, get up, go to work, eat, come home, sleep, eat, work, sleep, eat, work, sleep, with no family to come home to. It's POINTLESS!!!!! I only took on my new job to pass the time until I get a BFP. I cannot imagine continuing to work there with no BFP in sight and especially if we have to continue on those long STUPID infertility road. 

So I started panicking and pacing back and forth and am currently insisting that I'm going to go traveling on my own. I'm going to go to India and Haiti and volunteer in third world countries. Oh says I'm getting ahead of myself, but it's something I've thought in the back of my mind if this didn't work.

I has SUCH high hopes for this. I never imagined we would get such a low fertilization rate and now we are facing the reality of maybe not even making to to transfer!!!! I absolutely can't handle it! I am now officially broken!!!!


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## Pino6161

Sash--- :hugs: My heart goes out to you :hugs:

I know right now everything seems so bleak. I am praying you get your much needed BFP though. People beat the odds all the time, and I hope this is one of them. I don't have many words that help, but I want you to know that we are all here for you no matter what.!! :hugs:


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## treasured

oh god sashimi :( im soooo sorry that this was not the outcome that you wanted to get. I know how much faith you have put in different methods and how much effort has gone into this process from your part, but if you can just try to cling to that little bit of hope that we all have left for you atleast until your transfer it will help you through these next couple of days. I agree with your OH that you shouldnt rush into any new plans yet, but I do totally understand why you want a backup, theres no way I could face the possiblity of it not working without having somthing to fall back on. But I do actually beleive that this will work for you! 3 is deffinately better than none and there is every chance that one of them will be your miracle baby. I wish we could all give you real hugs but try to use the support of OH rather than fighting at this time because im sure this is affecting him badly too :hugs: dont lose hope yet, we all are truly thinking of you from our hearts and I cant offer you anything but all the support that you need. :hugs: xxxx


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## treasured

also.. why do you have to wait that long for them to be transfered ? I dont know much about it of course but couldnt they do it on the same day to make sure they survive? sorry if its obvious that this cant be done but I am annoyed that your chances might be even less due to the wait!


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## lauren26

Sashimi, There is nothing anyone can say to make all of this go away, you are right! But we all love you and are praying, visualizing, crossing every part of our bodies that can be crossed, and knowing that your BFP will come somehow! I agree that three eggs is better than none, though it is never good news to hear bad news, of course! But these ladies are right--miracles happen every day and people beat the odds constantly. I will be thinking about you a lot over the next few days and I hope that you let it out with your ladies! I totally get wanting a backup plan. I hope that you don't need to use it! :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: I wish we could all come and puppy pile on you right now and give you a million hugs!


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks ladies. I just don't have it in me to get my hopes up. I was so excited and optimistic this whole time, and for what? 3 eggs that may or may not make it? I tried to have a long-term plan discussion with OH because I really think its game over for this round. This caused a huge argument and he stormed off asking that I don't speak to him again for the rest of the day. 
I've been through some real crap in my life, but this is quite possibly the lowest moment of my entire life. I've never felt as alone or isolated as I do right now.


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## Pino6161

Sash-- usually when men get upset it comes out as anger they have no one or no where to vent, so they take it out in the spouse. That is how my OH is. Try not to dwell, it will just make it worse. I know what you mean about not getting your hopes up, but without an inkling of hope, we have pointless lives. :hugs:


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## lxb

sashimi - *HUGS*!! I'm with lauren... and wish we can all come and puppy pile on you and give you a million hugs! Hope you and OH are able to calm down as soon as possible. both of you are definitely drained emotionally and the news just made every little bit you have left stretched not only to its limit but beyond. please vent all your emotions out to us crazy ladies and we are ALWAYS here for you. kick those crazy emotions out of your system right now to this thread... so you'll have room for your little sticky bean on wednesday~


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## lauren26

Yes!! WSS ^^!! Let it all out...and eat a gallon of ice cream if needed! I am so sorry you're going through this--it's totally not fair and doesn't make sense!! I am thinking of you.


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## SashimiMimi

Holy hell!!!!!!!!! My doctor just called me and said that he thought 3 eggs was great. He told me that the nurse I spoke with should never in a million years have told me that 3 eggs was bad. He was completely livid! And it sounds like that nurse will be pulled aside and spoken to. Honestly, I was not calling to get anyone in trouble but when I heard we got 3 eggs and she said "No 3 eggs is not good, it is not a favorable result" I felt complete shock and devastation. If she had said, it's not good or bad you will have to speak to your doctor to confirm, I wouldn't have reacted by telling my OH that I am quitting my job and moving to India. The doctor was so apologetic that we were as upset as we were and assured me we would make it to transfer. He said with 3 eggs that we could transfer 1 and freeze two, or transfer two and freeze 1. Gah! I'm still nervous that they will all die off, its almost easier for me to assume now that it is game over than get my hopes up. But with the doctor's assurance that I have nothing to worry about, I have a bit of cautious optimism. The only thing I want to do now is guzzle a giant glass of wine!!!!


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## Pino6161

Sash--- As I always say &#8220;There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. You may have to get hit by a bus first, but you will find the light&#8221; The way I see it, you got hit by your bus, bring us the light!!! :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

I love that saying Pino, because after today I feel like I have been hit by a bus. I literally sat in one place, unable to move and cried all day. I'm terrified even still they will call me with bad news tomorrow, although I do feel reassured after speaking to my doctor. All the emotional stress was too much for me that I threw up in the shower. 

OH and I ended up going out for dinner tonight and we agreed not to talk about IVF. It was great to have a mini date and realize we actually still have other things to talk about. I'm really bloated and still in quite a great deal of discomfort after the retrieval and OH kind of pointed out my swelled stomach "bump." I felt really self-conscious and sat my my purse on my lap during the entire meal!!! It's okay, he didn't go into work today and tried to shave in a "casual" beard that makes him look like he has a triple chin. I had no problem informing him of this!! :) 

So I'll be waiting by the phone tomorrow. The doctor said I WILL get a call with my transfer time, so I can only pray that he is right and I don't get blindsided with more devastating news!!


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## preg_pilot

Sending all the positive energy I can spare to you sash :hugs:


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## countrygirl86

Sashimi, I'm so glad your doctor took the reins and clarified about the eggs. It must have been absolutely devastating yesterday. You are emotionally, spiritually, physically drained. BUT you are one of the most determined people I've met! If you are losing your strength, we'll make it up for you. In all of our parts of the world, we'll be rooting for Team Sashimi/Crazy Lady Extraordinaire! I can't believe everything you've been through, there have to be only good things to come to you. I know you don't want to get your hopes up but have you decided if you'll do one or two this round? Or does your doctor decide that? I wish we could all puppy pile you :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks, Country!! You are so sweet. ALL of you are SO sweet! Every time I think about the puppy pile, it makes me LOL and smile. Not only because it is an incredibly kind gesture, but just picture a bunch of grown women piling on top of each other! HAH!!!!!

I have not heard anything from the clinic yet, but it's only about 10:30. I feel better emotionally today, but I'm still very nervous. I keep trying to remember that IVF is about quality, not quantity and I pray those little eggies will hang on until tomorrow. I'm still sad we only got 3, but it only takes one to make a baby, right?

I'm not sure how many the doctor will transfer, but if there are two good ones, I'm pushing for two. I'm obviously not a fertility expert, but doing all this for one embryo transfer seems like a lot. Plus I've met a couple people lately who had two transferred, one died off and one survived. I just want to do whatever will give us the best chance.

Country I can't believe your baby is the size of an onion now!!!!


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## Pino6161

Sash--- Sometimes it is a good thing to sit and cry. I am glad you and OH had a small date, it was much needed. As for the bloatedness, I don't think OH meant to hurt your feelings, but damn was he blunt LOL. I hope you are starting to feel better today. I broke down and started crying for you yesterday. OH thought I was nuts :haha: Let us know what the Dr. says, and try to stay positive!! :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Pino you are so sweet, but I don't want you to cry for me. You have enough to deal with! I think OH was just asking if I was sore or in pain because my stomach looked bloated. And I was wearing a dress with horizontal stripes which only accentuated everything. A nurse called and said to monitor the pain, but I don't have any severe symptoms of OHSS so she didn't think I need to come in. She said I will get a call this afternoon about my transfer. I just want to know how those eggies are doing dammit!


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## lxb

I bet those eggs are settling in nicely and they're deciding who gets to get held by your arms and shower with never-ending love by you and OH~ :cloud9:

Goodness! Can't it be tomorrow already?!!

imaging us piling on top of one another... laughing/crying~~ :rofl:


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## SashimiMimi

It is such a funny picture in my mind to picture grown women puppy piling!!!! With me on the bottom LOL!!! 

Lxb - how are you doing? Any news on your front? Where are you at in your cycle?


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## Pino6161

It might look very interesting puppy piling :haha: let's hope none of us break anything :rofl:


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## lxb

:haha: :haha: :rofl:

I have NO idea where I'm at for my cycle. Read that it's normal to probably not see O on post-miscarriage cycles :shrug: Had my first AF on Aug 11th. Felt some pain on CD10 and thought I would O soon (because of water/ewcm). I check cm and temp everyday... and it's just not confirming O. Then, I started googling if working out will delay O (since dh & i started jogging last week - only twice a week though. along with some yard work). And it did mention extreme workout could cause delay in O haha: let's face it... what I did was not an 'extreme' workout!). 

So yeah, CD18... random mild cramps here and there. C'mon body! Get yourself together! :growlmad:


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## Pino6161

lxb---I don't think I have ever done an "extreme" workout in my like :haha: It might take a while for your cycles to get back to normal. I wouldn't stress it to much :hugs:


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## lauren26

This puppy pile is going to happen!!! :haha: Sashimi I can't wait for them to call you!!! I am anxiously awaiting your call, too. I am so glad you had a date and sounds like you and OH were able to be light about things and laugh a little. I am sure your bloated belly wasn't all that bad. After my lap I looked in the mirror and thought, how did I gain ten pounds over night just in my belly? And why is it all stretched out?....Lol. OH said, 'No....you don't look big.....' Yeah right! ;) 

Does the transfer time have to do with the exact time the eggs are ready?

lxb - It does not surprise me that your cycle is a little off, and maybe you will just O late. You had to take two rounds of meds so it might take a little bit for your body to get back on its feet :hugs:. That said, c'mon O!!! We're trying to get a rainbow baby around here!

Pino - You are a sweet lady!! So caring and insightful at such a young age! I think I was all over the place when I was 22, not at all focused on making the life I wanted happen. I hope that doesn't sound irritating--I know that it bugged me when people made comments about my age! Anyway, you are great. :hugs:


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## countrygirl86

Sashimi - does it hurt at all when they put it/them in your hoo haa? We'll have to make sure we puppy pile you before that lol I'm excited for you to get that call!

lxb - Fx you O soon! On my last cycle I didn't O till CD35 and it was brutal. It's gotta be coming soon!

lauren - you just wait! In the mornings I don't look pg at all and by 3pm I look 6 months prego, the bloating is incredible!


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- It doesn't bother me at all. I know I act older, but at times I am a big kid. I think we all have a bit of it in us. I had to grow up fast but I love the way my life turned out. It was hard but I have no regrets.

Honestly I have no idea how old everyone on here is :shrug: I know you all have said, but ages never have bothered me, they don't mean much. It's the maturity and personalities. I love everyone on here. :hugs:


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## Pino6161

So last night me and OH were talking about TTC last night and he brought up acupunture. I think I am going to do it, and he wants to try as well.

We talked about the stress it brings trying, but at the same time it's stresses me out not trying.

Fro me I feel like I wasted time and money trying every month, but I know that if I don't try the what if's will eat me. I might miss the chance. IDK. I am kinda lost at this point in my TTC journey.


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## lauren26

Wise words, Pino! :) I think you will really enjoy acupuncture. I couldn't believe how different it made me feel and how much better my periods were (not that I wanted a period...). Anyway, I think you'll like it! Be sure you go to someone who specializes in fertility because they know what the 'forbidden' points are. I am excited for you! I am 27, not that it matters ;)

Country - LOL, can't wait ;)


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## SashimiMimi

Hey Pino, I think acupuncture is a wonderful idea. It has helped me with a lot of issues such as jaw clenching from stress, anxiety, insomnia and even kidney problems. So it's a great step to take right now, but I honestly believe you should be seeing a fertility specialist who can diagnose the real problem. Since you have been PG before, you know you can get PG but aren't holding on. My co-worker for instance who had two mcs recently saw a specialist and was diagnosed with a progesterone deficiency. So she isn't doing any fancy ART treatments, just taking progesterone. Sometimes its a matter or not ovulating and that can be fixed with something like a clomid prescription. Until you can get in to see a reputable fertility specialist, I do believe that acupuncture will help with the stress you are feeling. 

Well I finally got my call. Transfer is at 10:45 tomorrow. They could not give me any information on how the eggs were doing or if any survived since yesterday. For a minute, I came up with a conspiracy theory that they are just bringing me to the clinic to give me the bad news in person. But they did tell me to come with a full bladder, as that is needed for the transfer and they also allowed me to book one of their rooms to do acupuncture before and after the procedure!! So they wouldn't make me suffer a full bladder and come all that way if it were bad news, right?

I'm so vulnerable today and feel the extreme emotional stress from yesterday is having major repercussions on my body today. I'm in so much pain and can barely walk around. I have called the nurse at my clinic twice and she says not to worry. OH is really stressed with a work situation right now, so I feel bad that work is stressing him out on top of IVF.


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## lxb

I find that being preggo gave me the excuse not needing to suck it in~~~ :haha:

argh.. feel so bloated! Not to mention ~10 new pimples on my face along with canker sores! all for no good reason~~~ :growlmad:

sashimi - agree! they won't ask you go in there with a full bladder if there are bad news~ so you're good to go! Ah.. so exciting! I'm feeling nervous for you too! Sending lots and lots of positive thoughts you way~

:haha: couldn't help myself~ 

Spoiler
https://xa.yimg.com/kq/groups/19534249/sn/149547195/name/Puppy%2BPile.jpg


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## preg_pilot

countrygirl86 said:


> Sashimi - does it hurt at all when they put it/them in your hoo haa? We'll have to make sure we puppy pile you before that lol I'm excited for you to get that call!
> 
> lxb - Fx you O soon! On my last cycle I didn't O till CD35 and it was brutal. It's gotta be coming soon!
> 
> lauren - you just wait! In the mornings I don't look pg at all and by 3pm I look 6 months prego, the bloating is incredible!

I can relate to that. I have a "tiny" bump in the mornings (mostly just my abdominal fat, but a little bit of preggo bump underneath, but in the evenings, I look ready to pop (according to my coworkers)... hehe.

Sash - I hope everything goes well in the morning for you :hugs:


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## haribo813

Ah lxb, loving the puppy pile but i wish I were that cute! Try not to worry about wacko cycles too much-a friend of ours didn't even get an AF after 1st baby and fell pregnant with no 2 so the body can be a strange thing!

Sashimi: brill news about your transfer, we are all rooting for you lady. Hope it goes swimmingly (ha!)

I'm off to bed. A 6am start, interview and full on day have left me knackered.

Night night ladies
xxxxx


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## Pino6161

lxb--- So cute puppy pile!!!

Lauren, Sash--- I think for me the acupuncture will generally help with the stress, even if it doesn't help me TTC I willat least feel like I am doing something other than sticking a thermometer up my hoo haa :shrug:

Sash--- I'm excited for your appt tomorrow! I know it's pretty much 50 50, but I am thinking positive for you! I don't think they would torture you like that!!


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## lauren26

haribo - How was the interview?!!

lxb - Yes!!! My thoughts exactly :)

Sashimi - I am so excited for you! It is totally natural to be nervous, but I think you will do great and the eggies will do great, too. Is the method of getting those eggies in there the same as IUI? I will be thinking of you! Does the actual transfer happen at 10:45 am est time? I hope you get tons of rest and support tonight :hugs:.


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## countrygirl86

I'm rooting for you Sashimi! It's so soon! Sounds like the real thing to me, I can't see how they'd tell you to be all ready then say "faked ya!". You'll have a little embryo in you soon. When I used to look around on the assisted threads the girls would consider themselves PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise) after a transfer, that's what you are now.

Pino, acupuncture definitely sounds like a great way to manage yours and DHs stress. I wish I could convince mine to go! 

lxb, the puppy pile is adorable! Canker sores are the pits, hoping they go away soon! I had an explosion of them one time and my doctor prescribed this stuff that made them heal up quickly.

haribo, how was the interview??

:hugs: everyone


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## lauren26

Thinking of you right now Sashimi!!


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## lxb

haribo - how did it go??

Yes~ Sashimi~~ You are PUPO indeed~~ :dance: Thinking about you too~


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## Pino6161

My thoughts are with you Sash!!!


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## lxb

OT: pino, lauren, sleepy, and country... we're chat happy members! :haha: Can't believe it has been 5 months since I joined bnb. And can't believe this crazy lady thread is now in the 200s!


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## Pino6161

:dance: Chat happy :haha: sounds about right!! :haha:


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## treasured

sashimi- all my fingers and toes and hairs and eyes and everything are crossed for you :D


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## SashimiMimi

So good news and bad news ladies. One of the eggs didn't make it, one was just so-so and one was really good. So they transferred the good egg and the so-so egg, so we DID make it to transfer which was the goal. I had really hoped our fertilization results had been better, but it does look like I have some issues with my egg quality which will be discussed at a later date. 

BUT as of right now, I have a couple fertilized eggs in me and that is the farthest I've ever come in my TTC history. The transfer part was easy and they even printed out a picture for me to take home of the egg inside my uterus. 

My doctor said he won't hold his breath for the underdeveloped egg, but there is a chance it could catch up and start growing more. But he does have high hopes for the 1 really good embryo. So hope and praying we get our BFP in 2 weeks. It's tough to remain super positive after everything we have been through, but we made it to transfer and I am thrilled with that. As of right now I feel very zen, which is a far cry for how I was in Monday!!!

Afterwards OH and I went on a lunch date to this really amazing pizza place. They have the most delicious fresh pizza, which explains why it is always packed!!! We thought that if we can't conceive naturally, then it would be nice to have a romantic lunch date to celebrate the fertilized egg being in there. 

Now stick you little egg and turn into a baby!


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## haribo813

Desperate to know how it went Sashimi, hoping it went absolutely to plan.

My interview was so-so, I'm cringing thinking about some of my answers. Am waiting to hear if I've made it to the 2nd round. Fingers crossed!

Sleepy, how did your appt go? I hope it was useful.
xxxxx


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## SashimiMimi

Haribo! We posted at the same time!

Glad your interview is over and done with. Now you can breathe a sigh of relief. Often the interviews I thought were just okay, end up being the jobs I landed. The ones I thought went amazing, I never get them! 

Yes, Sleepy! Your appointment was today!? How did it go?


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## Pino6161

Sash--- Sorry the one did not make it, but I have high hopes for you!!! :hugs:

Haribo--- Sorry your interview didn't go as well as hoped. Hopefully it is all in your head, and you did fab. :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Pino, I'm just glad at least one egg was strong and healthy. Often they only transfer just one egg in IVF...


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## lauren26

I am excited, Sashimi, and have really high hopes!! It sounds like pretty good news to me :). Now it's time to relax and do what you're already doing--zen pizza lunch dates! 

haribo - I am with Sashimi--the interviews I've had that I didn't feel great about were almost always the ones I got an offer after. GL!!


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## SashimiMimi

I can't believe we are over 2100 posts! I never in a million years thought the 2,112 post would be about my IVF transfer! Our TTC roads have certainly taken a lot of twists and turns!


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## haribo813

This is really splendid news Sashimi, 1 very good egg-brilliant! Hold on in there little egg and make yourself at home! Do you feel any different Sashimi?! So pleased you had a yummy pizza lunch, today is a momentous day and hoping in 2 weeks we'll be celebrating even more.

I think Sleepy had her appointment yesterday...let us know Sleepyowl, fingers crossed it was useful.

Thanks for all your support about interview-i am hoping you ladies are right. Of course i'll let y'all know as soon as i have an update.

I love having people to stay but am feeling bit besieged-had people at weekend, got family tomorrow, friend all next week, then more family again following week...the perils of renting a nice house with a 2nd bedroom, why didn't anyone warn us about this?! Tips on how to BD with in laws next door gratefully received!

Xxx


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## countrygirl86

I sense a lot of positivity on the thread today :) 

That pizza sounds delicious Sashimi, if we ever do get together in TO you'll have to take me! Two eggs is great! I'm so happy and excited for you! Do they schedule a blood test for in two weeks? I find out the gender two weeks today so we are both in a tww :wacko:

lxb, chat happy is right! Crazy that we've been on here that long and all been through so much together. 

haribo - I have my fingers crossed for you. Your personality is what shines in an interview, not necessarily the individual answers :winkwink: That's a lot of company! Can you sneak away somewhere in the car? Pino might have better suggestions lol


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## lxb

Great news sashimi~~ You are now PUPO!! two weeks from today shall be a great day~!! :dance:

haribo - perhaps standing position? then finish it off ttc style quietly on the bed? :haha: Oo... sneaking off to a car like country suggested sounds like an exciting idea~ :dance: C'monnn :ninja: bd! And like the other ladies said, I'm sure the interview went much better than you thought~ :thumbup:


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## SleepyOwl

Yay Sashimi! So happy that the transfer went well and that you and OH were able to have some celebratory pizza together. So true that this is the furthest you've come in your journey having those fertilized eggs in you and I am just praying that this is it!! STICK!! I was literally just about to email you, but figured I had to share in the excitement for what might be here :)

I had my appointment today and she was amazing. She is actually my primary care physician, but did several years of OB/GYN work in her residency so she was very informed. She said that 8 months isn't too long, but she had some cause for alarm since OH and I have not used contraceptives since October 2009. She was surprised that I had not gotten pregnant yet, and would like to run all the basic tests after 1 more cycle (aka after I turn 30). Apparently my insurance covers significantly more by way of fertility needs after I turn 30. So I have my basic blood work due next week (thyroid and some other stuff) and my next appt on Sept 20. If I get my period (which is due that week), then she will have me do all the hormone testing and order an ultrasound. OH has his appointment tomorrow and I'm thinking SA will be late next week. So I feel like I'm in a good place and don't feel overwhelmed at all.


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## Pino6161

:rofl: thanks a lot country :haha: ---
HariboSeriously this is going to sound bad, but parents are not stupid they know you are going to have sex. It's reality. With that said :blush: Car sex is fun, but cramped, and let's say I hurt my back in a car. When we lived w/ in laws it was in a farm area, and outside sex in the stars on top of the car is the best :haha: Anyways the key is to be quiet, but not to quiet. If it is deadly silent they will know. Turn the radio or tv on. They will still know, but it's not as bad. Act natural, just like I am sure they are wondering how they are going to have sex w/ you guys there. You will learn to brush the embarrassment off, it's not like they will say anything.

Sash--- Since they usually only implant 1 egg, that makes your chances a bit higher!! :hugs: When can you find out?? I mean I imagine it is like Friends and Pheobe finds out like an our after the transfer :rofl:


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## Pino6161

Sleepy---- I am so glad it all went well!! :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

I have to wait 2 weeks to find out like any regular pregnancy. It's going to be tough! And I'm sure I'll be on here a lot!! Honestly I don't have high hopes for that underdeveloped egg but I am super optimistic about the strong one so we'll see.

Yay sleepy!! Glad you had a successful doctors visit. Doesn't it feel good to know you will finally be getting help? Getting my thyroid problem diagnosed was one of the best things to come out of my fertility visits... Outside of an impending BFP that is! I'm happy that you feel optimistic! Aug 29 was a good day for this board!!


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## lxb

pino! my thoughts exactly! (Phoebe finding out an hour after the transfer!) I remember she walked home after the transfer and put her legs up on the sofa! :haha: oh dear pino... it made me :wacko: when you say "just like the inlaws thinking how they're going to have sex w/ them there".... NOT a nice thought at all. but natural. :rofl: I get SUPER conscious when we have people staying in the next room! I think we were in different part of the bed trying to figure out the quietest spot! :haha: Good thing though... is that our guests are older.. and they go to bed early... and I often hear them start snoring! So I know we're safe~ DH is a morning person... I often find myself half asleep! :haha: :haha: the weirdest thing is though are the times that after we got ready/shower and left the bedroom.. and saw his mom sitting by her desk doing her stuff (which is outside of our room. I dont know how long she has been there!). Made me feel a little self-conscious!

sleepy - so glad it went well~ you are on your way to getting answers and one more step closer to bfp!


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## lxb

Ooo.. OT... I'm off to getting haircut after work today since Aug 29 is a good day! Good day = good haircut?? :dance:


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## SleepyOwl

Haribo - Hoping you get good news about those interviews! As for the ninja BD, I turn on a bunch of fans (like the bathroom fan, a standing fan, the fan in the bathroom hallway) and then make it happen. You gotta do what you gotta do girlfriend!! Make it work! Lol!! 

I'm going to try to keep up with this thread now - I've fallen severely behind these past few days. Work has picked up a bit, and I just found out I have to travel to upstate NY for a trial in early October. Sadly that's the weekend I'm projected to ovulate! JUST KILL ME! Like what are the odds? OH said he would try to use our frequent flyer miles to get up there that weekend -LOL!


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## SleepyOwl

We are all chat happy fools posting at the same time! 

Lxb - I am loving that MIL-less ticker of yours!!! Hahahaha!


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## lxb

Ooo.. sleepy! Hope your OH is able to meet with you that weekend!! I know a ttc buddy (now 14-weeks preggo) was in the same situation! and she was able to sneak in some bd on the away weekend!! Ooo.. I smell bfp from those :ninja: BDs!!


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## Pino6161

lxb--- One day his parent were at the store and we were home alone. Well we took a shower, and got it on :blush: Well when we walked out of the bathroom, his parents, SIL, nephew, and his grandmother were sitting at the table talking. Suddenly it got really quiet :blush: Talk about HORRIFYING!!!... Yaaayyyy for a haircut, I totally need one LOL

Sleepy--- Hopefully OH will make it right on time!!! Long distance Booty call :haha:


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## haribo813

Great news Sleepy-we really are mirroring each other at the moment-my fertility specialist appointment is on the 21st and that will be mid my cycle too!

Sashimi, I read a parenting book called 'French children don't throw food' when I was in France that weekend and the couple basically get it on and conceive twins when he's away for a work weekend in Belgium so who knows?! I suppose there is a certain film quality to meeting up in another city just to get it on!

Well thanks for the advice ladies! I will take them on board! To be honest, some of the people staying know about our issues so even if they hear, they'll probably be silently cheering us on-now that's a weird thought!

In relation to positivity, I've decided to try and put aside negative thoughts for 2 weeks-I am watching the Paralympic opening ceremony and feeling very inspired by the amazing disabled athletes-they all work so hard and are so positive against the difficult hand that life has dealt for them. They are making my self absorption seem a bit pathetic. Positivity and being more outward rather than inward looking. Well why not?!

xxxx


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## SleepyOwl

Haribo - we are appointment twins. I'm obsessed with being any kind of buddy/twin with everyone on this site lol!!


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## lauren26

Feels like I have missed so much on here today!! I am LOLing at the silent sex. We realized last Christmas that from the room BIL and SIL stay in you can hear every creak and groan of our bed in the room we stay in at PIL's house!! And they are very modest and uptight about sex. Oops! :) 

Sashimi you are PUPO!! We looked at an apt today and the lady who owns it has three children through IVF! 

Haribo how are you feeling about the interview now??

Sleepy I'm so glad you're getting answers and that you are with a doc who takes you seriously! AND that you'll get some insurance help with fertility. 

Afm, long and frustrating day at work and I can't wait for the long weekend! We are going to the cabin my PIL recently bought. I am not supposed to go above 10,000 feet and this one is at 9,700 so I am under orders not to exert myself while there (fine with me!).

Anyone else have weekend plans? So bummed it's not Friday yet.


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## lauren26

Holy cow there is a whole page I missed! Haribo, that sounds so inspiring and sweet!! I missed why you'll be having a BD audience--company coming? I'd say people won't be trying to hear and you will probably be ok, but like you said maybe they'll be cheering you on!!

lxb - Oooo I love a haircut! I love my hairdresser! I want more nail pics, too :)

Sleepy - That sounds totally romantic! Work whisking you away and OH having to come sneak a BD :haha:. You never know--the new place and new 'style' could be the ticket! 

Pino - I am LOLing at your situations!! I am sorry--I've totally been there. My first time was in high school one night when my BF's parents were away. Apparently the next morning his dog, a big chow, had sniffed out the condom wrapped a million times in toilet paper in the bathroom trash and delivered it to the bedspread covering my BF's sleeping parents!! They instantly found out because his sister was a wait-until-marriage gal. Soooo embarrassing.


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## lauren26

I cannot believe that another hurricane is hitting New Orleans! Found this link on FB https://hint.fm/wind/ for a wind map.


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## SashimiMimi

I've woken up in a complete panic today! I have no idea how I am going to get through this TWW! I keep wondering how that little egg is doing, if it's still in there. I think I'm more upset to hear about my poor egg quality than I realized. Sigh!!


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## lxb

haribo - that's a great positivity outlook! sometime we are so stuck in the present and blinded by our wants.. and often overlook at the positive things around us. with the mc... dh kept emphasizing to me that this is not the worst that can happened to us and that the important thing is that we have each other. I often said my MIL kept looking at each situation as in "why don't I have that".. or "why does that happen to me?" and instead... she should look at why things are the way it is and what she can do to change it instead of feeling like she's the victim. I admit... it's so hard to "see" yourself.

lauren - oo that hurricane does NOT look good!!! :haha: @ the incident at your bf's parents house! I think I would dig a hole and stuck my head in it if that happened to me~~ and YES... I got a haircut!!! From a new stylist~ and LOVING it~!!! too often people dont know how to cut my hair as it's so thick and i have a LOT of hair!

sashimi - :hugs: keep busy~~ plan something for the weekend to occupy your mind~ :thumbup: I bet the egg is making itself at home as it shall be its home for the next 9 months~~~ :dance:


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## lauren26

Sashimi, That egg is nesting right in! I know the TWW is torture, but hopefully the long weekend will allow you to fully relax and do something fun and distracting. It is Labor Day for us, too :). 

lxb, Did you cut it short?? I love haircuts!! I went to NOLA a few months after Katrina and it's strange that the only time I've been back was right before Isaac! There are pictures on weather.com of places we just saw and I remember thinking that these towns had recovered really well in the 6 or 7 years since I'd first seen them. Now they are getting hit all over again! So sad!

Afm, Awful MS this morning. I didn't eat enough last night and I am paying for it.


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## SashimiMimi

Ughh!! Why did I think that it is Memorial Day in the States this weekend!? I totally know that is in May?? It's a week after our May long-weekend which is called Victoria Day. 

I'm trying to distract myself with working at home today, but I keep feeling really tight chested and anxious. I hope it passes I that I can just accept that what ever will be will be. 

Lxb, wise words. It's something I have to constantly remind myself about... that I need to have gratitude for everything I do have in my life.


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## SashimiMimi

Crazy ladies this is a sonogram pic they took of the embryo inside my uterus.
 



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## countrygirl86

haribo - you'll have to let us know how it goes :ninja: BDing with company! 

Sleepy - sounds like a lot of good came from your appointment! It's gotta feel great having a plan, but I'm sure it's hard hearing another month before proceeding. How are you feeling about your 30th birthday? I only ask because a lot of my friends have said it's devastating but I don't think it'll bother me that much. I'm a September baby too :) what day is your birthday? Where will you be in upstate NY? That's not far from me! Hopefully you can get DH to meet you up there :winkwink:

Pino - lol see you have great ideas! 

Sashimi - I'm glad you'll be on here more so we can help you through the tww! We were missing you! It'll be a tough wait but probably the best thing you can do is try to stay busy. Could you plan a trip away next weekend to keep your mind on something else? That's a really neat picture, awesome that you get to have something like that for your baby :)

lauren - so strange to hear you talk about being that high up! I've read a bit about not going to high elevations. I think we are pretty much at sea level lol Sounds like a great weekend though! We're having my birthday dinner Sunday at my mom's and I picked to have a homemade turkey dinner with all the trimmings lol good thing we have Monday off to rest from the big meal! LOL @ your BFs dog! Those things have amazing noses, if only they put them to good and not ratting us out!  Mine gets chocolate wrappers from DH out of the garbage for me to see lol

lxb - you have such inspiring insight :) I love watching your countdown get smaller and smaller!


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## lxb

lauren - Yep~ I took a picture of my hair "sitting" on my lap! I guess it was time for a haircut! :haha: the hairstylist cut off ~16 inches as I said I want to make sure it is long enough for donation! One of the lady there thought I was kidding (she thought I was going in for a trim). She spoke a different language saying she thinks i'm crazy for cutting off my long/beautiful hair~ :haha: I took that as a compliment!! Hair is still not too short... I didn't want to go too short that I need to go in once every month for maintanance~ I also read about high elevation. How long will you be there? Just remember to drink plenty of water to stay hydrated at all time! (pay attention to where the restrooms are! :rofl:). 

sashimi - LOVE your baby's very first u/s pic~ :) there are only more to come! :wave: embryo!

country - it seems to be the ticker is not moving at all! :haha: Last time I check was still 1w4d! :haha:


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- I am the same way about missing pages!! I can not be on here for an hour and miss a couple pages :haha: I LOLed at your condom situation :haha: Me and OH rarely used condoms :blush: But one time we were in the car and on one of the condom packages, it was not a complete square there was a strip of a separate wrapper. Well My OCD self tore that piece off and forgot about it, we ended up not even using a condom&#8230; Well let&#8217;s just say that piece is how my mom found out I was having sex :rofl:&#8230;Holy crap! That wind map is crazy!!!

Sash--- Try to relax. Look at it this way, yes, you have poor quality, but it&#8217;s better than no quality. :hugs: As the other&#8217;s said stay busy, of do what I do. Symptom spot, Google search and become obsessed w/ BnB :haha: JK. Everything will be fine :hugs: It is so great they gave you a pic of your egg!! Soon it will grow sprouts called arms and legs!!

Country--- It still shocks me every time I see your signature and it is 17 weeks. It really feels like just yesterday!

Lxb--- I try to get my hair cut every time AF shows. My OH seems to think it is bad luck to cut/dye your hair if you are preggo, so I only do it during AF just to be sure!!

Sleepy--- Where are you in your cycle???

Haribo--- I love watching the Paralympics! They are an inspiration, and very humbling.

I hope I covered everyone and everything!!!

So sleep has still been kinda evasive, but I drank a tea and instead of staying awake for 4 hours laying in bed, I only did it for an hour and a half :shrug: I think I ovulated but I had a tiny little dip so I didn&#8217;t get crosshairs, but I am sure I ovulated. Me and OH covered all bases, but honestly as each month goes by I lose hope more and more. I feel more as if I am going through the paces&#8230;&#8230;:shrug:


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## SashimiMimi

Lxb - Amazing! You could save someone's life with that hair donation. You always continue to amaze me with your positivity and generosity toward others! Xoxo

Country - Yum! Turkey birthday dinner sounds great. I know it's still so hot out, and that is a cold weather meal, but I'm so ready for fall and fall cooking. I always feel so tired in late August and am ready for the crisp weather! The pizza place we went to was great and if you ever take a trip to Toronto, we will definitely go there!! 

Thank you everyone else for picturing my eggie growing arms and legs!!! It's such a helpless feeling having such a lack of control over this whole process.


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## treasured

Gosh ive missed so much just not being on for a day haha! Just letting you know im thinking of you all and will post a long one tomorow :) hope everyone's okay! Xxx


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi - :hugs: I am praying that little bean is making itself at home right now! S/he needs to snuggle in good and not leave for 9 months. I'm sure this will be your longest TWW ever, but the girls are right - just try to stay busy and stay positive!

Pino - I should be O'ing in a few days. Got my first day of EWCM today but don't think I'll be able to BD :(. Hopefully we'll be up for it tomorrow! I think I'm CD 8 actually. 

For the record, I'm sick with a fever and a stiff arm and I totally blame my flu and tetanus shot. I am physically incapable of BD'ing at this point!!

Country - I feel pretty good about my 30th birthday. I'm not feeling old or anything like that! Well not yet at least!! I really try to make sure that every year, no matter the number, I make sure I give thanks that I have been able to have another year with my family and my husband. I know I have a lot more than others and I don't want to lose perspective of that or be ungrateful for it.


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## lauren26

Sleepy - Such an amazing attitude!! I love your birthday mindfulness. What day is your bday? You might have already said...I am sorry you're not feeling well :( Maybe time for lazy BD again?

Sashimi - We are here for you and that little one, sister! 

Pino - I'm so sorry you're feeling down. I wish you guys were able to see a doc! :hugs: TTC can feel so hopeless at times. You totally deserve your BFP and I am holding out for you this month!


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## SleepyOwl

Totally forgot to actually post when my bday is : 9/19! My dad and bro are actually also born in Sept so we have lots to celebrate :)


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## lxb

it has been quiet here~~~~ i miss my crazy ladies~!

how/where is everyone?

I hope 16-inches of hair will be put to good use~ :thumbup:

Spoiler


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## SleepyOwl

16 inches!!! I would be bald lol. Good for you for doing that - did you do Locks for Love? It sure has been quiet today. Anyone have fun plans for the long weekend? Got a surprise party for a friend tomorrow so that should be a good time. Other than that - being lazy and BD'ing!!


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## Pino6161

Lxb--- I would be bald as well, and possibly headless :haha:

I'm not doing much, but boy have I had a day!!

Today me and MIL took the car to the dealer mechanic, and I expected we would be there most of the day as the motor has a ticking sound. Well we got there and MIL put up a big fit about having to wait, so we left.My FIL was PISSED and so was OH. It came down to why the heck MIL even wanted to come!!! So now my OH is going to take Friday off and we will take the car in, and take the other car.

Then I was at MIL's house and my lawyer called.... I guess his work visa will be here within a week or 2. We have an appt w/ her Sept. 26 to prep for our final interview with immigration on Oct. 3. He will either be approved or not on the 3rd for his residency, and will have it within a month of that!

We are so excited, and surprised how fast it is all going.

Other than that I hope to relax this weekend. Sleeping has felt like a chore. I will be watching tv exhausted, but the minute I am in bed I am wide awake. It sucks. Especially cause the last 2 nights I have gotten a migraine.

FF finally gave me cross-hairs on CD 20. I got a moment of cramps today, it was really weird :shrug: I am trying not to think to much into it. I also had a dream last night, very vivid about BFP's like I kept peeing on sticks and they were positive. Talk about weird :shrug:


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## preg_pilot

I had dreams of peeing on BFP sticks when I got my BFP.
Fingers crossed :hugs:


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## treasured

Hi girls!

Feel like ive missed so much over the past few days haha! How is everyone?

lxb- that is A LOT of hair. can I steal some of it to put on my head cause I dont have very much :( do you feel its your new start ;)

sleepy- hope you feel better so you can enjoy your birthday!!

lauren- yours the MS going? you still getting it bad :( so exciting for your scan soon and congrats on the new house :)

pino- ooohh yay for cross hairs but your cramps could be promising if you dont usually get them :D 

sashimi- this must be SO tough for you this week :( but atleast you know that there is deffinately one really good egg in there so you are half of the way there! any symptoms you get will most probably be real and proof that your egg is growing!! 

as for me im pretty sure I O'd yesterday on CD14 again, although my temp dipped on CD13, and rose on 14, is that right? got my + opk yesterday though so CD14 is fine by me :) got a few BD's every second day in hopefully enough but OH was too tired yesterday :(. Sooo we shall see.... 

Also hello to everyone else that I missed!! xxx


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## Pino6161

Preg_pilot--- I am really hoping the dreams are a sign! Even if I am only 4 DPO :shrug:

Treasured--- I usually get a slight dip as well, so no worries :hugs:

Where is everyone???


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> Preg_pilot--- I am really hoping the dreams are a sign! Even if I am only 4 DPO :shrug:
> 
> Treasured--- I usually get a slight dip as well, so no worries :hugs:
> 
> Where is everyone???

Fingers crossed for you :)


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## lauren26

I am in te mountains!! Wish I could post a pic but I don't know how from my phone...SIL finally wants to spend tons of time with me now that I am pg. I think she just felt guilty before. MS is pretty bad but worth it and I am having so much fun with my nieces and nephew!! Will write more when I'm not just on my phone but missing you ladies.


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## SleepyOwl

Glad you're having a nice time Lauren! I hope the MS eases up a bit.

Had a surprise bday BBQ for one of my closest friends yesterday. She just turned 30 as well. One of the girls there has been ttc for 1.5 years and you could tell how badly she wanted a baby by the way she was playing and watching the babies at the party. I felt so sad for her :( she is 35 and feels like time is running out and I had no words for her. 

Other than that the party was great. Now trying to get myself in the shower to get ready for church and to visit my parents. Feeling soo lazy though!!


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## Pino6161

Lauren---- Have fun!!!

Sleepy--- Are there really ANY words for people that have been trying and trying to no success?? It sucks but all you can really do is be supportive :hugs:

Where is everyone else???

Sash--?? How are you feeling???


So my temp actually went up rather than stabilizing like normal, I am hoping it is a good sign FX. My house is clean, and I am feeling much better.I love the clean smell in the morning :haha:


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Ladies. I've been lurking on the board here, but not really saying anything. I'm feeling super pessimistic and just feel like I've set myself up here for the ultimate disappointment. I know feeling positive so important through all this, but I was completely blindsided by the low fertilization rate and only having 1 good embryo out of 15. I know one is better than none, but I can't stop thinking about how my doctor informed me of my poor egg quality and I wonder if I will ever have biological children. It's been pretty upsetting knowing once and for all the problem has been me and I feel like a failure as both a wife and a human being. 

I don't know if its because it was mentioned on the boards here or what, but I had POAS BFP dreams last night which I have never had before. It was nice and I was sad when I woke up and it wasn't real. 

I've been lurking on some other IVF boards where people have had multiple failed IVFs and it is SO depressing! I do not need to be reading that stuff, yet I can't seem to stop. 

I guess I just feel like if this was going to work, I'd feel it. I feel nothing, I have no symptoms of implantation which would have happened by now and I'm trying to figure out how I am going stay sane until my test date on Sept 12. I'm terrified to use HPTs because if I don't get that double line, I know I won't be able to function. 

Finally, some friends invited us over next weekend. They were the ones I didn't want to see after they had their second baby in June because they always were asking me if I had any news, saying that I needed to just relax and that I was young and have tons of time for this to work. (Well that last part is not true with my low ovarian reserve diagnosis.) I know last time we saw them it was fine, and they were surprisingly supportive. But now, it's different and I don't know if I can handle being around their kids. 

OH is being totally supportive about everything. I can't lift anything over 20 lbs right now as per doctors orders, so OH had to come grocery shopping with me yesterday and he carried everything in and helped put stuff away. I know I keep driving him nuts asking repeatedly if he thinks this is going to work or not. 

Anyway, sorry for the long vent. I wish I could find it in me to be optimistic and positive again. I'm trying, but it's hard!


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## treasured

sashimi- I think you are actually doing really well to control the fear that I know you must have. Even being able to share your feelings with us is good because you cant let yourself be alone at this time! And about reading all the failed IVF posts in that section... your mind is just wanting you to focus on them because you dont want to be set up for disapointment, but did you find yourself reading any positive ones or success stories? Just remember how often IVF does work for people and is a miracle for so many women, and I truly believe you have no reason not for the same success :)The doctor said that your main egg was a great one and that means you have a good chance! I know I cant take away your doubt and cant even imagine how tough this is for you but try not to focus on the bad because there is always good waiting round the corner :) So glad OH is being so supportive this is going to make you too so much stronger and together :D :hugs: 

pino- IM HERE hehe! excited about your temp!! this is deffinately a good sign for you :D Im confused by my temps this month too, barely a noticible rise for Ov, although FF spotted it... but they have been up and down soo much.. meh, im not too bothered this month for some reason.

sleepy- that party sounds fuunnn! and pino is right, all we can do for others in that situation is be supportive. In a way we can sympathize although no amount of that can take away from the pain of not conceiving every month, as we all know first hand! atleast she is able to get on with things and spend time with children without breaking down liek I know I have a few times haha!

so... Ive been feeling a bit down of recent just with regards to OHs behaviour towards me. Its nothing extreme, I just feel a bit neglected recently. When we first got together he was always all over me and gave me kisses and hugs, and I know of course when you are with someone for such a long time the spark isnt as bright. But I just wish he would show some more affection. Its like some sort of mission for him to give me a kiss these days.... Im starting to worry that its the strain of TTC and me going on at him all the time that is distancing him from me :S. In a way it has put me off TTC this month and so Im not expecting much or a bfp :(. I know he loves me and its nothing to do with that but I just wonder why he doesnt seem to show it as much anymore... its like Im annoying him if I want to be cuddly or romantic.. Gah, maybe he needs a refresh button that I can press and get the exiting OH I met back hah! Anyone else have this problem? Is your spark still there? I know yours is Pino hahaha!!! xxxx


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## Pino6161

Sash--- I had the same dreams. I know what you mean by waking up and the disappointment eating you. :hugs: I know that being positive is very difficult especially if you are scared to get your hopes up. I know words don't really help, but I have my fingers crossed for you, and you are in my prayers :hugs:

Treasured--- You would be surprised we have gone through exactly what you are. The key is to rekindle it. I know that many OH's, including mine also feel neglected as TTC is the first thing on our mind, and we BD for the sperm. We have to show them that there sperm isn't the ONLY reason we are with them. Make the first move, that is the best suggestion I can give, and some spice :blush:.... Your should get a solid dot after you go up a bit again. Mine was dotted until today, so I wouldn't worry about that.

I am cautiously optimistic, as for the first time in a long time I FEEL like I ovulated. It's probably all in my head, but whatever keeps me going right?? :shrug:


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## treasured

pino- Glad you got through that phase!! gives me hope haha :) Thing is... I often do try to seduce OH and I pretty much ALWAYS make the first move, but it doesnt seem to entice him. I mean hes said himself that he doesnt have a high sex drive but he did when we first got together. I have also put on a little bit of weight since we first met, Im not overweight or anything but I feel that this has put him off a little too? He makes jokes about it and says hes kidding but it doesnt exactly give me confidence! 

I never got solid crosshairs last month either... hmm, must be something a little off, it might be because my AF temps are so high? god knowws! 

How are you pino? any other symptoms showing up yet? xxx


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## preg_pilot

treasured said:


> so... Ive been feeling a bit down of recent just with regards to OHs behaviour towards me. Its nothing extreme, I just feel a bit neglected recently. When we first got together he was always all over me and gave me kisses and hugs, and I know of course when you are with someone for such a long time the spark isnt as bright. But I just wish he would show some more affection. Its like some sort of mission for him to give me a kiss these days.... Im starting to worry that its the strain of TTC and me going on at him all the time that is distancing him from me :S. In a way it has put me off TTC this month and so Im not expecting much or a bfp :(. I know he loves me and its nothing to do with that but I just wonder why he doesnt seem to show it as much anymore... its like Im annoying him if I want to be cuddly or romantic.. Gah, maybe he needs a refresh button that I can press and get the exiting OH I met back hah! Anyone else have this problem? Is your spark still there? I know yours is Pino hahaha!!! xxxx

Yeah, I´ve been through these patches with OH.
What always works for me, is to forget about the :sex: for a while.
I take him for a drive, and a picnic somewhere exclusive, where we either talk, or read, or just relax. Does wonders for us.
Starts him thinking, and pulls him out of whatever he´s busy thinking about to actually be with me :)


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- I would not worry about the weight gain to much. Your body is only a tiny part of what he fell in,love with. I don't think ANY of us have the same sex drive from when we first met. I got sick about a year after me and OH met. I weighed 145 lbs i gained A LOT. I hit 237 lbs which I am still trying to lose. Sex might not be the answer in your case me and OH have a lot of it,I admit, but it is NOT our entire relationship. Try what preg_pilot said, and just get out, get out of the house and do something new. :hugs:

My temp dropped a bit more today, but not under my cover line. I think it might be cause the first time in a LONG time I showered at night, and went to bed with wet hair. IDK. Last night while me and OH were BDing I got a pain in my right side. I don't know how to explain it, but it was very uncomfortable. It might have been cause I was on top. It is rare when I am on top just cause it is really painful on my knees.... Anyways....Also I notice my blue veins every month after I O. Yesterday I thought they were more noticeable but now I have no idea :shrug: I am the WORST symptom spotter EVER, and even my OH said so :haha: Today I have to start working on my blanket for my niece again... I hope that I can finish it for X Mas


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## lxb

pino - AHh... I crochet blanket for my niece too!! (wel... ~3 years ago and got it just in time for christmas!) Glad to hear you feel you've Oed. FX for you! BFP dreams are definitely good sign! :hugs:

treasured

sashimi - how are you feeling? only few more days 'til test day! It's normal not to 'feel' it's happening but I bet the embryo is developing just fine~ our body is so complicated and sometimes our minds think what we want to think or feel what we want to feel. I remember I had a dream within dream (I dream that I got bfp... then i woke up from that dream and go af... and i woke up from THAT dream.. realized I still haven't tested!) it can be so cruel as it felt so real. and I can smell your bfp coming soon! Sept 12th is a great date! :hugs:

treasured - it's normal for sex drive to go down after a while (especially when you're ttc). that's when you start getting comfortable with the other person and really gel as one and have that special connection. DH and I have been together for 8.5 years (married for 1.5 years). We don't say we love each other every day, which a lot of couples do. because we dont want it to become a 'greeting'. it's funny when we first going out, dh opened the car door for me and hold my hand even when he was driving. And he told me (8.5 years ago) that he will always open the car door for me and hold my hand. Funny thing is... I just reminded him of that yesterday. Because years later, he got a manual car and his hand is no longer free to hold my hand because he had to do stick shift. Then, I got a car later on (which we always drive on weekend) and it can do keyless entry (so I can have the key in my bag to unlock the door for the both of us). So ... he no longer "open" the door for me (not a habit anymore) and no longer "hold" my hand while he drives! And I was giving him a hard time yesterday :haha: :haha:


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Gang! I got really sick on the weekend and stayed home from work today. We went to visit my parents for a very relaxing visit in Sunday afternoon and when I got home I was freezing. It's hot and humid out still, but I wanted to wear a jacket. I got the worst case of the chills to the point where I couldn't stop shaking, took my temperature and had a fever. (38.5 degrees C which I think could be around 100 F.) I started to get really hot after that, like my face was burning up. I didn't know if I had an infection from the whole procedure or if it was the start of OHSS. Oh and sorry for TMI, but I've also had the worst case of the runs for the past 3 days. 

So my doctor is on vacation, but I had another doctor at the clinic paged in the middle of the night. My fever was getting worse and I felt awful. I was terrified that this meant game over for me and I wanted to seek help BEFORE it turned into something really serious. Anyway, the doctor was super annoyed that I had her paged so late not even being her patient. She said that it just sounded like the flu but didn't want me to come into the clinic in case I got "her" patients sick. She also told me to call during business hours for this kind of stuff in future. I was very apologetic for having woken her up, but then I was pretty angry when I hung up. We paid $15,000 for IVF, I have literally put my body through hell with weeks of injecting hormones and then a very painful retrieval process and a crap fertilization rate. We have no eggs that were frozen, so the second I feel sick, I am going to call and I don't care what time of night it is! 

I've been feeling very pessimistic about this whole thing and getting sick certainly doesn't help. I stayed home from work today because I still feel pretty rotten and don't want to push myself. 

OH and I have been trying to find the humor in all of this. We spent some time LOLing about how he fainted during the retrieval and had to lie in the corner on the floor. Also, I was completely out of it from the sedation and don't remember a lot of things after I got home. Right after the retrieval, I insisted that OH buy me a poutine (which is a classic Canadian dish that is hot fries, cheese and gravy). It's so random that I wanted this! When we got home, I couldn't even stand up so I ate the fries lying on my side and said to OH, "I feel like David." He was like "Who is David?" Well it took several attempts for me to explain coherently, but since I was drunk off sedation drugs, was lying on my side while eating junk food, I assumed that I must seem like David Hasselhof in that viral video of him eating a hamburger, lying on the floor, half naked and completely hammered. We had a good laugh about that! I don't know if it comes across as funny reiterating the story on here, but I don't even remember making the Hasselhof reference or really eating the poutine for that matter!

My niece starts her first day of junior kindergarten today and she is really excited. It's very rainy here and seems like total back-to-school weather. It's actually giving me some back-to-school anxiety even though I graduated years ago! 

Lxb - thanks for your kind words. I actually lay awake most of the night feeling like there is no way this could have worked, it's so much to go through and I am terrified. I'm afraid to be optimistic because I don't want to get my hopes up, but I'm also afraid to feel negative because I don't want a bad mind frame to influence my body. However, I have read lots of success stories where women were certain it wasn't going to work and then it did. 

Man... this is SO hard!


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## Pino6161

Sash--- Holy crap what a couple of days! That other Dr. sounds like an ass... t should NOT matter if you are HER patient or not, you just went through IVF, she could at lest e supportive.. I am really mad for you!! Keep your chin up :hugs:... When are you going to test?


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## lauren26

Sashimi - I just wish this could all be so much easier! That doctor sounds RUDE and I have half a mind to call and tell her so!! You should absolutely call whenever you feel concerned--that is what the on call doctors are for. I think it's completely natural to feel like it won't work and a lot of women don't think they are pg on the cycle they get pg. I am really holding out for you and have high hopes! It can be so hard to find the balance between optimism and skepticism, but I think you are doing a great job and it's wonderful that you and OH are trying to keep it light whenever you can. I LOLed at the Hasselhoff reference! I have actually never seen that video but now I have something to do instead of work... :) Anyway, you have put up with SO much and it would just be perfect for you to get that BFP now!! I hope that you feel better today and keep venting to us :hugs:--that way we can be here for you and pour tons of positive energy and love into that little bean!! 

Pino - I definitely think that stabilizing temps are a good sign!! How are you feeling otherwise?? That is SO sweet that you are making your niece a blanket! :)

treasured - TTC can really put a damper on the romance factor in a relationship! I definitely think that it's normal for sex drives to dwindle a bit, especially during times like these. That said, it's not too pleasant :wacko:. I think that all of our OH's need a little reminder sometimes ;)

lxb - Did you mail your hair off? Do you mail it or does the hair dresser? I donatedmine a while ago but can't remember...Almost time for MIL to leave! :happydance:

Afm, Had my scan and it was great!! I am so happy and relieved! :cloud9:


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## Pino6161

I am feeling ok, IDK i'm just going with the flow at this point

So Every month I break out a bit, but this month it seems outrageous!!! It is driving me nuts!! I am 22, and I feel like a 15 y/o. On top of that I have a habit if picking them. I don't even notice until afterward so now I am going to have scars... I am so frustrated!!!

I have been sleeping better, but I seem tired more often. 

Also TMI Alert!! The day before yesterday me and OH had sex and I was on top (This is rare as it hurts my knees). Well I started to get a pain in my right side While he was inside me, it was very uncomfortable. I didn't have sex yesterday as I was scared of this feeling.

So I am waiting very IMPATIENTLY for our lawyer to call for my OH's work visa.... It is very frustrating. She said it would come this week and it's only Tuesday, but still...

TTC wise I don't really have any symptoms except for the "love" bites", which I DON'T love :haha. Heart burn, and being tired. I don't feel very positive this month just cause temp is going up and down. It's still above my cover line. :shrug:

So i went over all of me and OH's financials cause we have not been saving any money like we are supposed to, well we can still pay off all of our debts and move in March if we really tighten down. So we are going to start giving the money to MIL to hold so we don't spend it. We have a savings, but that didn't work cause we kept transferring balances for stupid stuff so I think it is the best thing.


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- :dance: Yaaaayy for a good scan!!! :dance: Did you get any pics??


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## lauren26

Yes! I don't know how to upload from my phone but will do when I get home tonight :)


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## Pino6161

:dance:


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## treasured

sashimi- this doesnt get any easier for you does it :( although it could be your bodys way of telling you theres somthing happening inside!! keep your chin up and hope you feel better soon :) when can you test? x

pino- I have had those pains while having sex before pino, wouldnt worry to much unless it keeps happening! dont lose hope yet! I have no idea about temps mine are all over the place this month.. really weird, dropped below the coverline today :S 
dont worry to much about the savings im sure you guys will work it all out and achieiving things that you really want always comes at a price :(. Me and OH are actually really wanting to buy our own place but he deposits are so much here cause he is still a student! Trying to convince our grandparents to invest the deposit and we can pay them back, but doesnt look promising :( I HATE renting though feels like just throwing away money :(. Houses here are soooo expensive, I watched a program about moving to USA and there you can get a 5 bedroom house with pool for £90,000. Here that would barely get you a one bedroom.... 

lauren- yayyy for scan pics :D:D

sooo, my temps are SO different to last month, I thought it was just because of the time I took them, but I took my temp again later on and it was still so much lower than last month.... im not sure if its maybe just colder this week? My temp dropped below the coverline today, does that mean Im probably out? so strange :s Anyone have any ideas? 

Where is everyone else? xxxxx


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## lauren26

treasured - Is it getting cooler where you live? I know it is here and I've woken up feeling chilly in the mornings despite my consistently high temp. Maybe your dip is an implantation dip?? You have only charted two cycles, right? I bet you will start to see a norm at some point and will know which chart was the 'off' chart--of course, hopefully not because hopefully soon you won't have to chart for a very long time!! And, wow! Let me know where to get that house... :) Where I live they are very, very expensive too. There are parts of the US that are cheaper and parts that are way more expensive. Average home price in my town is $650,000 for about 2 or 3 bedrooms. So I feel you--it's nearly impossible for a middle class person to own anything where I live. We will probably move a little out of down eventually. How are you feeling?

Pino - Since you are post-O right now your cervix might be a lot lower which could cause some pain. I used to get that, too, after O. I wouldn't worry too much unless it increases or continues and you feel it all throughout your pelvis. But probably it's a just your cervix getting bumped!

I posted a scan pic on my journal for those of you who wanted to see! :) 

Hope everyone has a great Wednesday--my Tuesday back at work after that long weekend was the pits! Lol--so hard to come back after a break.


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## lxb

sashimi - it's good that you and oh are able to find some humor in this stressful process. fainting during the retrieval and lying in the corner~ :haha: also good to hear you get to munch on those yummy fries!! It's perfectly normal to be afraid to be optimistic. We're all here for you and sending positive thoughts your way! 


lauren - my 16-inches of hair is STILL on my coffee table!! Been out and about over the weekend and barely spend any time at home! I've filled out the submission form for the donation and it's all ready to go! Just need to stop by the post office! Woohoo~~ 5-day 'til mil-less day!! :dance: and I'm LOVING my new hair! feel sooo much lighter! Oh yes.. it's soo hard to come back after a break! I remember I took a whole week off work.. and my computers are work feels so strange but so similar at the same time! :haha:


pino - oo.. nice and high temp today! so perhaps as I mentioned before... could it be the bean settling down? I'm being hopeful for you girly~!!


treasured - :haha: sure!! if you don't mind my hair texture! hehe.. i hv a mixture of thick and thin hair! Which makes it sometimes straight.. sometimes wavy! :dohh: Ohh.. and the hairstylist said that his arms are sore when he was half way through my hair! :rofl: oh.. as for the house.. it depends on the area/neighborhood too! I know a friend of mine got her 2bedroom and 2bathroom house for 90k (<£56)!


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- Could it be an implantation dip?? You are not out until you get the red flow!

Lauren--- I saw your pic n your journal! I was shocked on how little your little bean is :haha: IDK why :shrug:

OK so last night after me and OH ate I was having random sharp poke like pains that ran through the top of my stomach to the bottom, right in the center. It was really weird. I have been constipated the last couple days. The veins on my chest and arms, are really defined, it's kind of gross :shrug: And I had a HUGE spike in temp today. It went from 97.4 to 98. The temps in my house are the same, and I took it at the same time, so I am hoping something comes out of this. I am 8 DPO and I am not ready to take a test yet. Oh the horror of the TWW :haha:


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## Pino6161

lxb--- I would take your hair ANY day!! I have super curly hair and when it is humid it goes POOF :haha:


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## lxb

pino! we posted at the same time! :haha: ohhh..mine will be puffy too~~~~ well.. maybe wont be as puffy as yours since your hv curly hair~ :haha: but i find strands of hair sticks out randomly! :growlmad:

treasured - also meant to say.. maybe that's implantation dip???? and cooler weather definitely can affect your cycle temp~


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## Pino6161

lxb--- All my hair sticks out randomly :rofl:


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## lauren26

Pino - Yes, the bean is teeny tiny at 6w--4mm! I was surprised, too, though the nurse said baby is 1 day ahead of schedule! The heart must still be poppy-seed sized.


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## haribo813

Hello everyone, sorry I have been offline the last few days-BUSY.

Sashimi your Hoff scenario made me howl with laughter-have such a ridiculous vision of you lying on your side daintily eating your poutine (which by the way is delicious-I loved it when we skiied in Banff-we stopped for it all the time!) Sorry things are so tough for you (can't believe you got ill too, poor thing). I totally relate to the not feeling anything and thinking there's no way you're pregnant-but truth is, being pregnant affects people really differently. I think you're doing a really good job of staying sane but think it's important to do things during this period that you like, whether that's reading a magazine in the bath, cooking things you've fancied for ages or making the most of the weather outside before it gets cooler-look after yourself, try to stay distracted and not speculate and meanwhile we will continue to send lots of positive vibes and thoughts your way. If you could mentally will a baby along, you would be expecting twins! 

Lauren, a whooping great yippee for your little scan picture! Exciting. And you must be so pleased MIL is offski very soon....

Pino-sorry to hear you've not been feeling great. Fab idea for saving though-as long as you trust your MIL that is!

Country-how are you doing? I hope all is well with you and the ever growing bump-it's countdown to finding out the gender! What do we all think ladies? I am going to go with girl I think!

Treasured-don't worry too much about OH. All relationships go through cycles and sounds like everyone on here can relate. I find that when we're getting on and making each other laugh we seem most close and attracted to each other and that in turn ends to nice BDing rather than feeling like a chore BDing...

As for me, I have been v busy-I found out on Fri afternoon I had a 2nd round interview on Mon morning but went to a wedding miles away up north all weekend so was only able to do some reading on Sunday night when I was so tired from dancing the night before. We've got a friend staying with us for 4 nights too who's lovely to have around but bit more work for sure. 2nd round interview was hard and didn't expect much. Then I got a phone call-I have been offered the job! I've negotiated and upped the pay and will be paid a fair whack more! I am delighted and hope to start after our hols in 1st week of October. I must admit it's made me question whether I should still be TTC as it's a great job, a fab opportunity but think I will just see what happens-I have not exactly been Miss Fertile so far! (Although am feeling heartened by scan when told me had 10 ripe follicles in each ovary earlier this month)...

So there you go. It's been manic! OH away this weekend and I'm looking forward to kicking back, babysitting my niece, planning our trip and catching up with family (before OH's arrive next week-it's like a bed and breakfast round here!)

Lots of love to all xxxx


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## haribo813

And lxb, I love the sound of your hair! Lucky you. I also laughed at the car door thing-it was the detail! It is the small things though, right?

Sleepy, i missed you off. How are you doing? It's not long til your Dr's appointment either but a birthday first-how are you planning to celebrate!

xxxx


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## lauren26

Thanks, Haribo!! And CONGRATS!!!! So exciting!! :wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo:

PS, it is lxb with the 'zany' MIL :haha:...mine is great!


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## lxb

:haha: I was wondering if lauren's MIL is going offski too?! :haha:

congratulations haribo!!! :dance: now you can relax 'til oct 1st~~ as for ttc or not ttc... do whatever you feel is right. all good things must come at once~ perhaps this is only the start! next up is bfp? :thumbup:

lauren - i'm thinking about what you said.. the poppy seed size heart. simply.. a.m.a.z.i.n.g!!!!


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## lauren26

lxb - I know! Seeing the term 'delicate condition' in a whole new light.


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## lauren26

Quiet thread today? Has this felt like a super long and somewhat hellish week to anyone else? :wacko: so hard to come back after a long weekend!


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- it's all normal here :haha: We don't know what a "long" weekend is, as we are lucky to get a day every 2 weeks :cry:


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## lxb

Tell me about it Lauren! The weekend is CRAWLING by!! It is STILL 5 more days til MIL-less day!


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## lauren26

But now it's four!! :happydance: this week has just kind of been the pits for me with work  I will be glad when it's over.


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## treasured

Well done Haribo!! So chuffed you got the job woo!

gosh I feel this week is dragging a bit too! although I havent been thinking about TTC much this TWW so thats good I guess. Ive stopped symptom spotting and everything, I suppose Ive just reached the 'its not going to happen any time soon so what the point is stressing' stage lol. 

I just watched an amazing film though called Expecting a Miracle, it was really lovely but also sad but also happy haha! A couple struggling with infertility, failed IVF and everything which causes so much strain on their relationship. Turns out well in the end though :D Gave me a bit of hope hehe. Anyone seen it?


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## lauren26

Sounds amazing, treasured!! Where's your temp for today?? I want to stalk!! :haha: Anyway, I think there should be a lot more movies, shows, and books documenting infertility.


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## lxb

:haha:

funny~~ I'm looking at pino & treasure's charts!! and both no temp today!! :growlmad:


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## SashimiMimi

Treasured I need to see that movie!!


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## Pino6161

Ok people take a chill pill, my temp is there :haha: 

So my temp went down a bit today, but it's still higher than the day before yesterday I am a bit disappointed. 

I am getting cramps today. They are not intense or anything, but they originate in my back (which is normal), and mostly on the left side.

I have been peeing a bit more than normal, and I am thirsty, but only sip on water. If I had it my way I would be chugging all day ling, but I pee enough as it is 

And HUNGRY I just feel like I could eat all day. I don't, but I want to. The smell of onions has come to the point where it grosses me out. I can eat them, but I can't smell them. (I LOVE onions, and use them in everything)

And I am TIRED 24 freaking 7 I feel like I could sleep all day. I have no energy.

I feel like I am out this month. I have a 10-12 day LP so my period can show between tomorrow and Sunday. I feel like it is coming though cause of the cramps.IDK I HATE the 2WW!!!!!!!!!!

Treasured--- I have never seen that movie, but I might have to look for it now.

How is everyone???? I don't like seeing the board this quiet


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## countrygirl86

Hi ladies! 

Lauren - I can't relate to your week, mine has flown by! Luckily for everyone tomorrow is Friday :) So happy your scan went well and I love the pic! Did they give you an official due date?

Sashimi - What a time you've had! How are you feeling now? I totally agree with you, with everything you're going through you are right to call in the middle of the night with questions! lol @ the David Hasselhoff comment! It's good to hear you and OH are finding the lighter side of it. 

Pino - I am awful at picking too, and I don't realize until after :dohh: Hope you really trust your MIL with the money! Your chart looks good :thumbup: when are you going to cave and test? 

treasured - looks like it could be a good implantation dip! I haven't seen the video but sounds like a good one, is it online?

lxb - 4 days! How long is she gone for again? Do you have anything special planned for the first night?

haribo - Congratulations on the job! What great news! So you don't feel alone, none of us on this thread are Miss Fertile! Except maybe preg :haha: but we still love her! I'm doing well, and so is the bump! Starting to push out more and more! 6 days till we find out team blue or pink, won't be long now till you'll know if you were right!

I'm in the middle of my birthday week, had a lovely day off yesterday to celebrate with DH and have a friends dinner tonight :) Lots of positives coming up for me and I'm hoping for all of you ladies to get your BFPs to add to the slowly growing list on here!


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## Pino6161

My MIL is a very frugal lady. I can trust her, so I am not worried. Besides she doesn't go out unless I take her :haha: cause she doesn't drive, so I would know


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## lauren26

Pino - Those sound like great signs to me! AF...STAY AWAY!! :af::gun: Your temps really are looking good, though. Will you test?

Country - Jealous!!! :) Yes, my due date is April 30th! Yayyy for birthday week!!


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## haribo813

*Vent alert*

I told my new boss I had been offered job yesterday. My notice period is a month and that means 3 weeks in the office and a week on holiday which I've already booked. Then would go straight into my new role after holiday-perfect no?

I have been really open with my current boss throughout the process, telling her and the team that I was applying for this role from the outset.

I found out today that my current boss has been trying to negotiate with my soon to be boss about getting me to stay longer than the 1 month I am obliged to! This is so outrageous! I am not obliged to work longer than a month, the holiday is perfectly planned and why would I work longer than I have to in current job with less pay?

Argh. I've always really respected my manager and am so disappointed in her sneaky ways!

xxx


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- I want to hold off testing until Sunday

Haribo--- THAT IS RIDICULOUS!!! You need to let her know that it is YOUR decision!!


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## lauren26

Haribo - Don't do anything you don't want to do!! And absolutely take your vacation!


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## SleepyOwl

Haribo - Def. take your vacation! Don't let your sneaky boss get away with that. What's the worst thing they could do...fire you?! :rofl: That would show her. 

Lauren - This week has felt long. Today it felt like time was crawling. Thankfully it's almost the weekend.

Sashimi - I am soo sorry you are not feeling well. It is just one thing after another. Good for you for calling the office and you're right - who cares what they say?! That nurse sounds RUDE and I hate her for you. How are you feeling now? This TWW must feel like forever for you. When would testing be? I want to wait out each long day with you! So happy though that you and OH were able to get some time to reconnect. After such an emotionally exhausting process, I'm sure that you both really needed that. :hugs:

I'm feeling so lazy to post, so I'll have to come back on tomorrow and make it a point to respond to everyone!!


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## haribo813

Well you are a Sleepy owl...!:haha:


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## Pino6161

Ok so my temp went even higher this morning :dance: when i woke up my stomach was really upset to the point i wanted tp vomit but my stomach was empty. The cramping is mostly gone today. I think i might break down and take a test tomorrow


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## lxb

pino - :wohoo: for high temp today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :dust:

haribo - definitely DON'T let your old boss getting away with it. And definitely take your vacation!! Like the other ladies said.. what can they do?? fire u? :haha: You already had an agreement to start on Oct 1st and put in your notice already! They can't just manipulate your hours! :growlmad:


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## lauren26

Pino!!! That is great news!!!! Those sound like good signs to me!! C'mon BFP shower!!!!!!

:wohoo::rain::wohoo::rain::wohoo::rain::wohoo:


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## treasured

ahhh so much information hhaa! 

pino- definitely test tomorrow! if AF is due within a few day then the test might just pick it up! and if not your signs are really good ! and a high temp is even better :O

lxb- I stayed over at one of my best friends new flat last night and so I couldnt temp today, and I completely forgot yesterday morning haha! I suck! they were all over the place anyway so dont think they were really telling me much :( how are you? think you are going to be Oing any time soon? 

yeahh ladies you really need to watch this film, it was really moving! there is another kinda story line that ties it all together about a small boy that they meet in a spanish town when they break down. somthing they said in it like 'what happens in the future will happen but none of it will matter if you dont keep hold of what you already have' made me think about how much I really love OH! and he has become a lot more caring and reminding me of him loving me haha since I spoke to him about it :)


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## treasured

p.s im 8dpo and having absolutely no symptoms so im guessing this month aint the month :(


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## lxb

country - Yay for bday week!! :dance: scan day is almost here!!! MIL will be gone 'til Oct 1st! Cruise to Denmark for a week? Then they (MIL, FIL, and another couple) will drive to Canada!! (No idea which part! They'll be driving from NY ... so probably somewhere close to there! :shrug:)

treasured - AHH! Still no temp!! I was hoping to see high temp today from you too! afm, i have NO idea when/if I Oed this cycle. Been getting -OPK and guess my body is still out of whack! Pimple-attack has gone and now it's off to canker-sore attack! :cry: so painful~~ oh... no symptoms isn't a bad thing! I know plenty of people who has no symptoms and BAM! BFP! :dance:


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## SashimiMimi

I had some red spotting today and I'm freaking out! Clinic said not to worry but I can't help it!


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## Pino6161

Sash--- :hugs: maybe implantation?? What day did they do implantation again??


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## Pino6161

Oh god that made no sense :shrug: As you can tell I know nothing about this... It's to early for this to be your period though right?


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## lauren26

I am just feeling that it's a good sign, Sashimi!! :happydance:


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## lauren26

I totally think it's IB.


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## haribo813

Oooh Sashimi, know bleeding is nerve wracking but also hoping it is just implantation bleeding too. Plus my mum bled a little when she was pregnant with me and all was fine. 

Pino, hope your temps stay high. Yay for birthdays Country! Lxb not long now of MIL. Treasured-am liking your laissez faire attitude.

Well I have had a shitty day and come home to an empty house as OF away playing golf. It was shitty cos I was hauled in by my 2 bosses to try and manipulate me into staying in current role longer. I really didn't like the way they spoke to me plus one even lied saying they'd spoken to HR and i was contractually obliged to work 4 working weeks rather than a month regardless of whether i'm taking holiday or not-I checked contract and with HR and it's just not true! I am so mad about it and am trying to decide whether to accept any of their proposals-i.e. to work another week for them, before starting my new job 4 days a week and working the 5th day for them for following 3 weeks (this would include the largest event i've ever worked on which would be really stressful). It is certainly putting a dampener on what have always been good working relationships.

Wish OH was here, at least i have the Paralympics for company though-now they are amazing xxx


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## SashimiMimi

That's it! Haribo, what is your work phone number? Your boss is about to get an obscene phone call from me. They absolutely CANNOT make you work longer. They can request it, but they cannot make you. I have been in this situation where I had a holiday to Chicago booked prior to starting a new job. In Canada, it is standard to give your employer 2 weeks notice when leaving your role. So while it wasn't ideal, I ended up working just one week and had my other week vacation. I think it is SO important that you take a week off between jobs as it can be very stressful. By law they have to give you a good reference in the future, so don't worry about pleasing them. Just focus on you and your new job. It is amazing news and you should feel very proud of yourself. Personally, I have found that the new job I started back in April has taken a lot of pressure of TTC. Yes, it is often difficult to attend doctors appointments and major procedures like I just had, but my work has been very accommodating and does not ask me to explain why I need time off. To me that is the sign of a great employer! 

Anyway, I still need to rant about Haribo's current and soon-to-be former employer here. I have worked at some really toxic places and the best advice that my quirky 85-year-old grandmother has ever given me is this: When you aren't happy at your job or someone is treating you unfairly, you simply stand up, swing your purse over your shoulder and walk out with your head held high. So Haribo, when the time is up at your job, just swing your purse over your shoulder and walk out. You don't owe them anything!

AFM, the spotting seems to have stopped... I had some mild cramps. I just don't know if IB can be red. It was just a couple drops, it was very thin in consistency and then it was gone. The progesterone suppositories made me spot all the time, but since I have been on the injections I haven't had any spotting. I literally called my doctor from the bathroom stall with shaking hands, and when the nurse answered I started hyperventilating and sobbing. While she assured me that I shouldn't worry, it just showed that I do not have a very good emotional grip on this whole thing.


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## Pino6161

Sash---- I think you are doing great!! IB can be red, so don't worry. (I used Dr. Google) :haha:

Haribo--- I agree with Sash, keep you head high!!! :hugs:


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## lauren26

Haribo - No!!! Your employer is acting awfully. Don't give in!! You deserve your vacation! In the US it is standard, too, to give 2 weeks. Last time I quit they were angry that I offered a month and not more--I thought I was being very generous! We've got your back :gun:


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## lxb

:growlmad: Yes!! Give me your boss's number to me too! I'm w/ sashimi too! I have no problem calling and give them my two cents! We're here for you!

sashimi - Ahh... I hope it's IB! 9dpo sounds about right! Crossing EVERYTHING I've got for you that this is it!!


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## haribo813

Thanks Sashimi, you're very sweet. It's tricky as my new job is in the same organisation but a different department. And my new boss isn't helping-he hasn't pushed back and said no to the requests or that I absolutely have to start on so and so date-instead he's told me it's up to me. And current bosses are saying how i am being defensive, not very reciprocal or mature(!) and all this other bulls%it to make me feel bad and cave in to their demands, it's enraging. If I decide to stay on it will only be because i love my direct team so much and they are struggling numbers wise at mo due to lots of changes. Can't imagine how they would have kicked off if it was 2 weeks notice like you had! That's the thing about employers, notice periods work both ways: they also are able to get rid of me if they wanted at a month's notice-i can't imagine i'd have much grounds for negotiation if the tables were turned.

Glad you were able to speak to someone at clinic about spotting. And you're dealing with this very well so please don't think you're not-I bet any women would be pretty emotional in this position so don't beat yourself up about it.

xxxx


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## SashimiMimi

That's tough Haribo! Have you planned to go somewhere during your vacation? When I started here, I had a 17 day trip to Vancouver and Hawaii planned and it was during the worst time! But they worked around it and again, I was very thankful for that. Life happens before new jobs, so if you already have something booked I say just go for it. Now I'm angry at your new boss and will also need his/her phone number!! :)

Honestly, the not knowing is tough. A co-worker of mine invited me out for cocktails on Friday of next week and I thought to myself I don't know how I will feel by this time next week because I don't know the outcome. When I saw the spotting, I started to shake, nearly keeled over and rolled out of the bathroom stall. I felt like I was going to faint! This whole thing is like waiting to find out if I wont the lottery. I have the ticket, I just don't know yet if its the winning numbers. 

Lxb I'm glad your MIL is going away on an extended vacation. Do you live with FIL too?


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## haribo813

We've booked flights to Sicily for that week.

I don't think i'd want to commit to plans next week as totally agree, you just don't know how you're feel. I'm praying you've got a winning lottery ticket. Is it next Wed that you will go in and see how everything is progressing? You've certainly broken the back of the 2ww which is a relief-over half way there!

This is going to sound odd but for 1st time ever i'm actually a bit worried i might be pregnant this month as then i'd be starting this massive new job mid October with loads of responsibility already pregnant and all things going well, heading off mid May on maternity leave. That's not very many months! I know that's silly as we don't owe our employers anything and we are all entitled to have children but am finding it worrying thinking about it. So strange having mixed feelings about something i've wanted for so long. I am sure i have no need to worry though (am on my 14th cycle!)
xxx


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## lxb

haribo - argh~~ I need your boss's phone number too! :growlmad:

sashimi - I think you might've hit the jackpot but just don't know it yet~~ :thumbup: Nah.. FIL doesn't live with us. 

Long story short about MIL & FIL 
* MIL and FIL had affair when FIL already has a family
* MIL remarried to a guy (who has 3 children of his own) while DH was ~2-3 yrs old?
* MIL's (now) ex-husband had affair with another lady and they had divorce (10 yrs ago)
* The 3 children cut off DH completely saying he's not their 'real' brother even though they grew up together for the past 15+ years
* MIL brought DH (he was 19) to AZ after the divorce along with some money, bought a car... invested the rest of the money in stock (which she lost all of it). From what she told me, she kept calling the ex to harass him because she was soooo hurt and emotional
* MIL decided that the only way to cut off the ability to "call" the ex is to move back to another country (to stay with her oldest son ---> that's another story) and left DH here by himself
* DH was in depression for the longest time until he met me (3 years later) <- he told me that :)
* In the mean time, FIL (biological dad) steps in financially to help with DH's tuition fee
* Now, 10 years later, she got her residency from DH and moved in with us
* FIL comes visit every so often and he considered her as his 'wife' ... :dohh:

There are TONS of drama and I can just go on and on and on..... but i won't start here~ :haha:


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## haribo813

Wow lxb, that is confusing! I am not sure i totally get it but lots of affairs and divorces-yikes! Does MIL live in your house or does she have separate little place on site? I don't know how you do it either way-i take my hat off to you, you are a great wife!

xxx


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## lxb

haribo - :haha: dh has a complicated "family" with all the steps/half siblings. to make matter worst... MIL isn't exactly the person who acts like an adult (which I expected her to be since she's a "mom"). And lots of dramas. And unfortunately, she is living IN the same house as us. I have TONS of stories about her. The upside of this is.. DH is on my side! :bodyb: I remember a few times he told me .. "she's sooo annoying". And I was thinking to myself.. "YOU are telling ME?!" I considered myself to be VERY easy-going and patient. And she has pushed me to my limit and beyond. Now.. whenever I see her... I only answer her questions but never to initiate anything with her. It has been awkward ever since a 'tornado-type-fight'... and she has certainly left me alone since she found out about my mc. So as long as she doesn't create drama for me... I have no problem with her. (can't you now see why the countdown?? :haha:)


----------



## Pino6161

OK so me and OH went out and bought tests. I really want to take one now, but I am so scared of a negative. My tummy has been a little upset today. I don't know if it's me not feeling good or me being nervous, like butterflies :shrug: I don't know how to explain it, but I have never felt like this before taking a test before :shrug:


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## lxb

Hehehe... Because... This..might...be.. IT!! Dun dun dun.....! :happydance:


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## Pino6161

:bfn: I kinda feel like crying :cry: but I still have that feeling in my stomach :shrug:


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## lauren26

You're not out yet! That chart looks amazing :hugs:


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## Pino6161

To be honest me and OH were laying in bed. and while he was asleep he was rubbing my stomach. I NEVER like it when my tummy is touched as I am a bit overweight. Well then i started thinking about much temps.And i am so scared to go to sleep and they drop :cry: My tummy still has the same feeling they havehad all day. Almost like jittery. I can't really explain it. :shrug:


----------



## Pino6161

A post from my journal

So it is 10:30PM here, and I can not sleep. My stomach has been rolling all day. It is hard to explain. It's jittery almost. I figured it was being anxious to take a test. So I did and :bfn: :cry: It broke my heart, but the feeling didn't go away. I didn't even tell OH I took it. I know you are supposed to use first morning urine, but I couldn't wait :blush: So me and OHwere laying in bed after a long day, and he fell asleep. While he was asleep, snoring away he started to rub my stomach. It was really weird. FYI I hate it when my stomach is rubbed as I am a bit overweight :blush:. So I started to think about my temps etc. and I suddenly did NOT want to go to sleep. I am scared to wake up, take my temp and it dropping :cry:. I know it sounds incredably stupid and naive, but it's the way I feel. I feel like everyone around me is getting BFP's. I am extremely happy for everyone, and I am not even really jealous. I just feel like everyone will get them and I will be left in the dust :nope:. I am not really emotional. More nervous than everything. I kind of feel like I am out this month, but it doesn't feel right. IDK I can't explain it. Now I sound stupid :blush:

I am scared, anxious, scared, nervous, scared.:cry:

As dumb as it sounds, I am also scared to be pregnant. What if I am not a good mom, what if I miscarry again. :cry:

I have a lot of anxiety right now,and OH doesn't understand. I have been REALLY moody today. My sex drive is GONE. My OH for the last couple days has really been in a lovey dovey mood. He is NEVER like this. He wants to cuddle, and kiss, and touch even bfore I showed him my chart yesterday. It annoys me.Most days I am begging for this behavior :haha: But NOT this week. I really just want to be left alone. I feel bad.

I feel like there is genuinely something wrong with me. :nope:


----------



## SashimiMimi

I know Pino, it's a lonely, isolating road. I also feel like the whole world is getting BFPs but me. I found out tonight OH's best friend and his wife who were struggling with TTC got a BFP on their first IUI. They live out in Vancouver and were in town 3 weeks ago but didn't even call us because they said that they felt uncomfortable visiting us knowing that I still wasn't PG and the wife was. OH was very very hurt and very upset. We know about the struggle and some people have more luck than others with assisted conception. I'm also incredibly offended because it's official: I'm that poor LTTTC woman who is a sad case that everyone tiptoes around. That's me.

Second, we decided to see our friends this weekend that I wasn't sure about seeing. They know what we have been through and the wife said something to me when we confirmed plans like don't worry you can unwind with a few drinks at our place... I know in the past she has said its fine to drink until you get a confirmed BFP because most women don't even know they are PG. Well those women who get knocked up without knowing don't suffer from infertility!! What's more is we got a note from them asking if we would eat oysters tomorrow. Now I love oysters to death but hello??? They have two kids and anyone who had had kids knows you do not eat oysters when you are PG or in a TWW!!!!!! OH was a little annoyed about the wine and oyster menu and reminded them again we are still in our IVF TWW. Any other time wine and oysters would be divine!!!!

It's 2:20 and I can't sleep. I've been wandering around the house breaking down into major sobbing fits. I've had killer cramps on and off all evening and all my optimism is gone. This all feels like more than I can handle and I pray this infertility will end and we can finally have our baby. I see OH losing stregth too and he has been my rock. He seemed so sad and deflated and kept saying that we deserve this and shouldn't have to go through any more of this. It kills me because I know now that all of this has been because of me and my crap eggs.


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## Pino6161

That is VERY inconsiderate of them. I feel like that is rubbing it in more than seeing you guys!!! I am PISSED for him!!

It's frustrating as it seems people either tiptoe around us or don't monitor what they are saying!! When my brother had his baby, my mom said many things, but she doesn't know we are trying!.

I feel you on not being able to sleep. I know it is so easy to blame ourselves. I feel you there. This is the main reason I don't want to see another dr. I know it is ALL me. I have been having cramps as well. Our OH's are so strong, but they sometimes have to break down as well. It's hard to even think about, I know. I wish I had words of wisdom. I am upset for you. You DESERVE your BFP and I am praying that you get it. What day were you told to test. More like how long is your LP usually?


----------



## SashimiMimi

I'm going to get the official blood test on Tuesday. My LP is controlled by the progesterone injections and the nurse I spoke to said it is too early to be getting AF at 9dp3dt and that most women do not get their AF while on these hormone injections. So I don't know what the heck the bit of spotting and cramps are all about. Naturally when I am not doing ART I have a 15 day lp and 30 day cycle. Now I don't know what to feel or what to expect! I can see OH is so desperate for this to work.

Im happy for the friends getting their BFP but it was rubbing salt in the wound by the fact they admittedly avoided us. I see their BFP as encouragement and it would have been inspiring! They struggled for months and months with their first kid, had 2 mcs and struggled again with the second. It means a lot to me to see couples who struggle with success stories. So naturally we are very hurt.

Well Pino, if there is something wrong on your end chances are it can be fixed quite easily. You already know you can get PG, you might just need a bit of help to hold on. My coworker who had two mcs is being put on progesterone and that is what her RE thinks will do the trick. In my case my RE says something can be done about the egg quality... But I just don't want to go through any more of this. And I don't have $15k to throw around multiple times!


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## Pino6161

Sash--- Since during the injections you don't get your period etc. It makes more sense for it to be implantation. It sounds like your injections are amplifying things. The cramps most get during implantation are a bit like AF, just a bit less so. Yours are so painful because of the injections. They are same on the line of being on and off... Not all woman get IB bleeding but it is not at all uncommon.

You need to tell your friends. Tell them that it hurt you guys by being avoided. You are not a plague. It's hard for people that have not had to go as far as you to understand, or even see themselves in your shoes. You need to put it in their perspective.

I know going to the dr's will probably something simple, but honestly I HATE going to the dr's :blush: BUT once we move in March it is the first thing we will be doing

I understand by not having the money. I honestly still have hope for you though as all of your signs sound positive. When you went through IUI did you get the cramps and spotting??


----------



## SashimiMimi

I took progesterone suppositories during my 3 failed IUIs and each time I spotted a ton because they can irritate your cervix. I switched to the injections for that reason and today was the only time since the transfer I have seen even a drop of blood. 

I'm not a fan of the doctor either and my fertility clinic has been a home away from home. But it feels good knowing I am doing everything I can. Im excited for your move and for you to see a new doctor. It will be a fresh start for you and OH and I'm certain good things will follow. Thanks for your positive words of encouragement on my stupid cramps!! It's now 3 am and I wonder if I will sleep at all. I'm glad you were up. It's nice to have someone to talk to right now. Xoxoxo We will reach those BFPs Pino!!


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## Pino6161

AGREED!! We will get them. Thank you as well. It's great knowing that we have so much support :hugs: Try to get some rest, and I will try as well. You are 3hours ahead of me as it is midnight here. I am in the same boat wondering if I will fall asleep.


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## lxb

:hugs: ladies. It is 1:30 here and I am sitting on the bed sobbing while Dh is snoring away. 

This morning, I found some pimple looking bumps in the inner lower eyelid of my right eye (I saw one a couple of weeks ago, and figure I would wait to see if it goes away. But what do you know, I forgot about it until my eyes felt itchy this morning and I remembered and checked! That's when I found two more next to the original one). I wrote on my journal earlier as I was freaking out this morning. I am ultra sensitive when it comes to eye/skin issue as my dad passed away due to something called melanoma cancer. It started with his eye and it was detected a little too late that caused it to result in an eye removal. But it spread itself, and eventually claimed his life ~2yrs after the first discovery. It has been 9+ years since his death and I still remember the day crystal clear. I had a close family before... But it has brought us even closer together since the death.

Turning on the shower... Sitting, waiting for the water to get warm. Noticed a huge bloat/bump on my belly. If I don't suck it in, I might as well look like I was 4/5 months pregnant (I dreamed that I was half way through my pregnancy and woke up to nothing but belly fat)

Anyways, I was pretty shaken up since this morning. Then, so happen all the recent uploaded pics from my fb friends were either babies or preggo pic. And here I am... In a confusing cycle where I dont even think I've Oed.

Dh went shooting with his friends so he had dinner with them. So I suggested dinner with my sis along with mil. MIL was gone for a few days since I got my haircut. And she didn't notice it. (I certainly don't mind that she didn't notice). Then, during dinner time, MiL suddenly said to me.... Ah... Your hair became shorter?! And I just smile and said, yes. She then turned to my sis and said.. "I thought she looked different. And I thought to myself.. O... she is just fatter". ... Ha... Thanks. 

When Dh got home today, I told him about my eye bumps and that I made an appt tmr to get it checked out. He said... Ok, better to get it checked out. Then, later on, he asked if we have any plan for tomorrow because he was thinking of playing golf. At that time, I was a little stumbled because I assumed he would go to the eye appt with me. And he asked, do you want me to go with you? And I just told him I was assuming he would go with me. I feel like I am such a bad person for keeping him home and do nothing whole he can go out and enjoy a round of golf. Then, he asked if he should go play golf. I said, "ok". He sensed that I wasnt and got mad at me for doing that and that we should communicate to each other. I shouldnt say i am ok when i am not, and that most couples breakup due to lack of communication and have to guess each others feelings.

So guess things calmed down. And we were both quiet. Now he is snoring away..while I'm here typing away. Sorry for such long vent with massive negative energy ladies. :hugs: if you manage to finish reading this loooong and a bit of a pointless post... Thank you :)


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## SashimiMimi

Oh lxb! Big hugs! What you described on your eye sounds like a sty, which is basically a blocked oil gland. I get these a lot and it usually goes away with a hot compress. It's very understandable that you would be nervous and this would stir up emotions about your father. My OH goes through the same thing as both his parents had cancer and any time e feels off he is worried that he will get it too. He once told me he feels that he is a ticking time bomb for cancer and I told him that is not true! Just because his parents had cancer does not mean that he had his siblings will get it.

Still I think you will feel much better seeing the doctor. OHs dont seem to know when their presence is required... Mine wanted to golf on the day of my transfer and I was liken ugh... No you need to be there for the possible conception of our child!!! And then he asked if it took place in the morning he could go in te afternoon. Again I told him no!! He is going to Phoenix AZ on a guys golf trip in November and I've been totally supportive about that. I just think men don't know when something is really important so now I flat out say No I need you there for this... Or whatever.

Gaaaaahhhhh!!! You MIL!!!! Seriously!!! Give me her phone number right now she is about to receive an earful and an obscene phone call! That woman has some nerve. Next time you introduce her to someone say This is my husbands grandmother, then act shocked for a few minutes and say Holy sh!t!!! This is actually my MIL who is just looking really old!! Then turn to her and say You been in the sun too long again?? When did you shrivel up? You look like one of the California raisins!!!

Don't worry about the bloat. I have the same thing and our body has gone through lots of hormonal changes which causes this. It's not a good time for you to feel bad about yourself. I wish you could talk to my coworker who has 2 mcs. Her body went through lots of fluctuations before it regulated again. You went through a traumatic loss and it's going to take some time for you to be completely back to normal. You need kind words and support right now and that's why, when I speak to your MIL on the phone that I will tell her that it's best she move out. You guys need your space and she has overstayed her welcome. Or you can just have her bed taken away while she is gone and that will give her the hint.

So you hang in there. Put a hot compress on that eye and take it easy!!! Xoxoxo sending you lots of love!


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## lauren26

Sounds like you ladies had a very rough night!!! :( 

Pino - I know that queasy excited-fearful stomach feeling so well. I am still really holding out for you this month but I know how heartbreaking a BFN is after feeling like it's the month and feeling like there's absolutely no reason you should be looking at a BFN!! :hugs: I felt terrified before and after every visit I had with my specialist, and continue to feel that way. That said, going to a good doc was one of the best decisions I ever made. Hearing my diagnosis was incredibly difficult and painful, too, but in the end it paved the way for me to finally get a bfp! I just know that you are meant to be a mom :hugs: I am with Sashimi--it seems like it must be something that is an easy fix, and I wish you and OH didn't have to wait to see a doc! I totally get it, though, and support your decisions. It just doesn't seem fair that you have to wait for your BFP or a doc! That said, I know that you will get there. You are so strong!! I am inspired by you all the time. 

Sashimi - The absolute nerve of your friends!!! How could they ask you to jeapodize your shot at a BFP AND the $15k you put down for something like food!! They know you are doing IVF--why wouldn't they fix a totally pregnancy-friendly dinner if they asked you over?? And OH's friends-- :( I also always want to connect with couples who have struggled with infertility, even and especially now, and I just can't understand why it has to be such an isolating situation. I know I told you this, but our sort-of-friend who lives in the neighborhood behind is showed our apartment because she words for our landlord. She saw something that we'd left out and knew we were pregnant. She asked OH and he admitted it and swore her to secrecy for the moment because she knows a lot of my close friends. Anyway, I wrote her an email saying I was happy she knew but that I was scared of it getting on FB so double swore her to secrecy...She wrote me saying she was ecstatic for us and that her and her husband were trying, saying she wanted to be pregnant yesterday. I told her about 7 months ago what we were going through and she acted like they weren't trying but wanted to...in her email she admitted they'd been trying for a long time. I think she didn't mention it out of embarrassment, which broke my heart. I told her our whole story (abridged! :)) and invited her to connect because I know what it's like! She never wrote back and I just felt so sad thinking that she is going through this alone. I wish everyone was as willing to connect about this stuff as all the ladies here are!! We all have you to thank, too, Sashimi, for bringing us together and creating this incredible support system. Anyway, I am digressing. I am praying and hoping that this is it for you and OH! You have been through SO much and it is just time. I can't imagine how intense this TWW is for you and hearing thoughtless comments like that from friends does not help at all! I have not lost hope for you and I hope that you and OH can get some RL support, too, amidst the sea of unhelpful friends!

lxb - It is completely natural to feel afraid when you lost your father in that way! I am so sorry you had such a rough night and are so worried! When is your appointment?? I am sure it's nothing, and am glad that you are getting it checked out for your peace of mind. My OH lost his dad to cancer when he was very little and has always been afraid of getting cancer, too. You said your OH doesn't know about your dad's starting in his eye? He may just not know how scary it is for you that you have something going on with your eye!! :hugs: And Sashimi is right--sometimes you just need to lay down the law with OH and say No golf--I need you right now! You should not have to be scared alone, especially after all you've gone through lately and this confusing cycle you've had. I cannot wait for you to be without MIL and hope she decides to take a permanent vacation!! :hugs:


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## lauren26

Afm--MIL vent alert!! Yesterday at work I had a piece of candy from the candy bowl--I know it's totally naughty and not a healthy pg food, but I ate one, dammit! I took a lunch walk with my co-worker and she was asking about all the things I'm eating and avoiding, what's dangerous, etc. After I got through explaining the major things, she said, 'If you're so concerned with having a healthy baby, why do you eat that sh*t from the candy bowl?' It totally took me off guard and at once I felt completely guilty and completely pissed!! She KEPT after it, too. Like she was trying to make me feel awful for eating a mini Milky Way! I told her I thought there were way more harmful things to worry about and that I am doing my best. Later that night at PIL's my SIL mentioned something about how she's not supposed to eat such-and-such. I lightly related the story about my co-worker and my MIL, who is normally so amazing and supportive, said 'Well she's right.' I don't know if it's because of all the hormones, but it REALLY stung and I got completely shut down for the rest of the night. She is usually so, so amazing and supportive but since we announced our pregnancy she has seemed really judgmental which is so uncharacteristic of her--unless I just don't know the real her! Later I tried to casually bring up diet and mentioned how I'm doing my best and following the rules as much as I can, and she 'jokingly' said--'Depends on what your goals are, I guess!' implying that I would gain tons of weight if I ate a Milky Way! I don't know, ladies, maybe I am being really sensitive or petty, but I am already getting comments like this on a daily basis and I am not even 7w pregnant. I wanted to punch both my friend and MIL!! SIL was amazingly great and said, 'It's no one else's business.' My OH is MIL's golden child, and a part of me thinks that she feels resentment that it's my fault we took so long and had to spend so much $ to get here and that any potentially wrong move I make harms him. I completely expected compassion from her, too, once we got here! The first time we saw her after telling PIL she asked how I felt and I mentioned my insane emotions--she kept laughing nervously and saying, 'Just know that it's the hormones and the feelings aren't real. When you feel yourself start to cry just remind yourself it's not real'--!! I wanted to shout, 'I can cry whenever I want to!!! I'll cry right now!' Am I just being a sensitive jerk?? Should I not ask this on our thread? :(


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## Pino6161

lxb--- I am so sorry. I had barely turned the computer off when you woke up. :hugs: You should have told you OH you want him to go with you. He knows how hard this on you giving everything with your Dad. Try not to stress out. I know how bad MC's can be emotionally. I still have dreams like that to this day. The pain of it hasn't left me, so I don't know if it goes away :hugs:

Lauren--- Thanks :hugs: I think I am just frustrated. I am still holding on to every string of hope that I can do this on my own with no medical intervention:shrug: It just seems like all of my family has no issues except for me. I am kinda mad at you. There is NOTHING you can't or should not ask :hugs: I think part of it is the hormones and being sensitive, but the other is not. You are ALLOWED to eat a damn candy if you want. Goodness you would think you went on a drinking binge for craps sake. I agree with SIL it is NONE of anyone's business what you do during your pregnancy. Being really healthy during pregnancy is great but sometimes you need a little something sweet to satisfy the baby. I mean it was a TINY milkyway not a footlong candy bar. Try not to take it to heart. You and lxb have something in common. Maybe I was just raised differently but there are times you really need to stand up for yourself when it comes to MIL's. :hugs:


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## Pino6161

So I am in a mood again today. My temp dropped, I got another BFN and I have to go shopping w/ MIL. What a perfect wonderful day. There really is no way to explain the way I am feeling. I expect AF by tomorrow 10-12 days and I am 11 DPO right now. I am just tired. Of everything I am out of words for this month. I don't even feel like I can cry. More like a zombie


PS you would think we are all on our periods as it seems everyone is in a mood


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## preg_pilot

lauren - nobody, ever, has any right to tell a pregnant woman what to eat or what not to eat.
I´m pretty sure I would just punch whoever tried to tell me not to eat that piece of chocolate. :gun:

I stay away from alcohol, cigarettes (as in smoking people) and raw foods.
Anything else is fair game to me.
I do try to eat healthy most of the time, but if I have a huge craving for something unhealthy, I eat it and everybody´s opinion be damned.
While pregnant, a candy every now and then is the last thing you should worry about. :hugs:


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## lxb

:haha: we definitely sounded like a bunch of ladies going through period! Love you ladies!!

It definitely sounded like people are insensitive or too judgmental. And we certainly don't need that around here! We have enough to deal with as it is.

Sashimi - I could give her number..but she doesn't speak English :haha: she is very appearance/body conscious! I don't even know if she eats lunch? She would make comment like... Clothes look better in slim body etc etc.. So and so in gaining weight. ALWAYS compared herself with me. Felt like she is a teenager a lot of times, who tries to compete when nobody wants to compete with her.

Lauren - eat as your heart felt right! Milky way is NOt harmful unless you eat a whole truck load! :haha: okay... Maybe even a quarter of a truck load is bad :p. you sil is right, it's nobody's business!

Cancer is such a scary thing especially when you know there is nothing you can do about it. Got back from my eye appr and everything is fine. It turns out, it is something called concretion. The doc said for my case, it is caused by my allergies. Those pimple looking bumps aren't going anywhere and he is not concern about it as my symptoms (dryness and itchiness) are okay. I can control it by first control my allergies and to use eye drops consistently to prevents dry eyes because of my profession (I am a software engineer who sits in front of the computer all day. When you stare at the computer, you tend to blink less, therefore, dry eyes).

I told Dh about my dads condition. I was sobbing the whole time. I am crying because of all those memories and not so much of the possibilities of getting cancer myself (still scared but not the main reason for crying)

And you ladies are right. Men need to be told what to do because they certainly think us women are complicated sometimes!


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## Pino6161

lxb--- I am glad all is good. I hope you OH understands where you are coming from :hugs:


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## lauren26

lxb - I am so glad you told your OH so that he can support you! And I'm glad you got your eye looked at and that all is well. Sounds very uncomfortable but treatable!! :) Sometimes I feel sorry for your MIL and her rude ways! I am sure it's not fun to be like that. Still, that doesn't mean that you or OH should have to put up with it!!

Preg - Thank you. I think you're right--I don't know why anyone feels they should tell anyone else, let alone a pregnant women, what to eat. My friend is not good at sticking to diets and she is very self conscious about her body, so I am sure that she is talking to herself when she says those things to me. That said, she needs to shut her damn mouth when it comes to this!! Lol. I try to avoid being around smokers, too. That one feels really important. 

Pino - You are sweet and you are right--there is a time and a place to put your foot down! We saw my dad and his GF today and her advice was to say something like, 'I appreciate your concern but I got it covered'. It would be great to have a line whenever someone feels they have important advice for me. The thing is, I DON'T appreciate her concern, nor do I feel it is concern! Oh well. Next time I will just say it's not something I want to discuss with her. I am sorry you're feeling bad :hugs: I have hope for you still this month, but I know what that feeling is like. And I completely know the feeling of wanting things to happen without needing a doctor!!


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## Pino6161

Hey everyone...... 

so quick random update from me.

Every night i drink a tea called Tila Linden. Its a Hispanic all natural tea for sleep aid. well i finished my cup picked up the dog to take to bed am BAM a wave of nausea. I didn't throw up but i was very close. Talk about weird. AF is supposed to show tomorrow.

Me and OH went to the store to get some random groceries. And i found myself in the cake isle. I picked up his favorite floor and icing along with an icing you write with. I decided that if and when i get my bfp i want to make cupcakes and on 5 of them spell out daddy. Anyways he was like oooohhhh you are making cupcakes tomorrow.... i said no they are for a special occasion. he was like our anniversary isn't until next month. I said not that one. So we get home and he goes o know what they are for!!! Reina's birthday (our dog) i said ya. :haha: so now if af does show i have to make strawberry cupcakes for the dog to:rofl:

I have been having slight cramps still and major constipation!! 

I don't know what to think so i guess i take it day by day

tomorrow a vent about OH's coworker... to be continued

Goddess night all!


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## treasured

lauren- I agree! you should NOT be made to feel bad about this pregnancy you have been through so much to get here! I know there is reason to be nervous but worrying about stupid things like a milkyway I mean come on that will just drive a woman mad! I did not even know you are not supposed to eat chocolates while pregnant :\. One of my friends just gave birth 5 weeks ago and was eating cakes and everything and her baby is just fine :D I understand that you want to take more care to make sure the pregnancy is healthy but seriously, the stress is worse for you than the candy so just tell everyone else to butt right out :D
Also, I wonder, and Im not sure if I have asked you this before, but do you know if scar adhesions from previous surgeries can transfer to the womb/fallopian tubes and cause endo? I read somewhere that previous bowel surgery can sometimes cause infertility, but they assured me in the hospital that wasnt the case... 

pino- your signs sound amazing!!! I know we always say dont be put off by a bfn but think of how many women test neg before pos! plus, your shortish lp doesnt neccessarily mean that you will implant early, so it could still just be too soon :D

lxb- so sorry to hear about all your worries! but glad that the bumps are nothing serious!!! my mum suffered from breast cancer so for like a year I totally stressed out and went around constantly feeling my boobs haha! (not recommended in busy shops...) Every little bump I found I was like OMG CANCER, but it was nothing hehe! glad you and OH can escape from MIL for a while!!! 

as for me im pretty sure this month Im out, my temps have been CRAZY and today dropped WAY below the coverline :S so pretty sure this isnt the time for me haha. suprisingly im not actually that upset though. I think im just at the accepting stage that its not happening. I wont bother testing and Ill just wait for AF to show! Also think I am going to go to the doctors after the year mark which will be around November, so that might tell me some things.


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## treasured

One nice thing was that me and OH were out last night for one of his old colleague's leaving do, and OH's old boss who is 20 weeks pregnant hugged me :) I was like baby dust baby dust baby dust haha! maybe it will bring me luck?


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## SashimiMimi

I don't even know what to think! This morning I decided to do an HPT just to prepare myself for my official blood test. I've done FRER tests about 10-15 times in the past year, all always negative. Well this morning, I fully expected another negative test... and it took about 30 seconds for a second line to appear... but it looks like I have a positive HPT. I don't want to get my hopes up until Tuesday when I do my official blood test... But OMG! I can't stop shaking... Could this really be it? I have no symptoms at all. I keep worrying that it can't be real!
 



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## lauren26

Sashimi!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! I know I told you, but I am so excited for you!!!! :headspin::yipee::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::headspin::dance::happydance::happydance::happydance::loopy::wohoo::wohoo:

I just knew it was time for you. It is REAL and it's ok to freak out and be excited!!! I know that feeling of disbelief and it makes total sense!! But you deserve it and it's finally here :hugs:

treasured - Thank you!! No, chocolate is totally OK! She was just commenting on the chemicals in chocolate like that (not that I know what they are) and the high fructose corn syrup....Still, whatever! Candy is candy--it's my fave and I am totally planning on indulging every now and then! I am sorry your temp is down, and I definitely think the doc will give you some answers. I am glad you get to go--wasn't it difficult to get an appt earlier? No, I don't think that previous scars or adhesions can cause endo. It's possible that scarring in the pelvis from another surgery could affect the ovaries or tubes or womb, but the damage would be limited and would not continue to worsen like it would with endo--at least that's what I think is the case! Endo is uterine cells growing outside the uterus, so it's very specific on the cell level.

Pino - Do I see that you are a day late :)? Your temps are still above the CL, girl!! I love the cupcakes for the dog!! Anyway, you have some good signs--will you wait another day to test again?

Afm, Had fun with my dad and his GF last night and they were super supportive about my love of candy, lol. It totally turned fall overnight here--anyone else? This happens every year--it goes from a streak of 90+ degree temps to 70's and 60's overnight.


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## Pino6161

OMG--- I feel like crying as I just saw Sash's post!! I am SOOO happy for you!! I see the positive!! There are no words, except I told you so :haha: It's about time you got your happy ending girl!!!


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- I read my chart wrong, but you are right, I am a day late :dance: IF AF does show it will be my longest LP to date, so either way good news. I got a BFN this morning, but I am trying to keep faith.

I will comment on everyone else's stuff a bit later as i am about to do the ugly cry for Sash!!

My OH is home with me today, so I won't be on as much today. :hugs: ALL


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## lauren26

I am so glad you get a day with OH, Pino! And a longer LP is great news, and so would a BFP be!! 

Sashimi, still so excited for you times a million!!


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## Pino6161

~~RANT~~

So a lot of the people that work with my OH are Mexican. They come to the US on a visiting visa and stay to work. Well quite a few of them still go to Mexico every now and then. Well last week a coworker, Martin was going to Mexico, and decided to take his tax forms over there to brag. At the border they found the taxes. Which say where he works etc. Well now we are all worried cause if they do an inquiry into my OH's boss that can get John(the boss) and all of the workers in BIG trouble. I am not worried about OH as he is getting paid under the table until all our legal stuff is finished at the end of the month. But my FIL a long with a lot of other people, can lose their jobs and be deported, possibly go the jail. I am so pissed that this guy was STUPID enough to risk everything just to brag!!!

~~RANT OVER~~~


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## preg_pilot

Oh wow sash :)
Your first line is much clearer than the one I got at 25DPO. :hugs:
So happy for you :D

:happydance:


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## treasured

omgomgomgomgogmggogmgogomgomgomogmomgogmgomgogm sashimi ahh! SOOO happy for you!!! I knew it would happen for you its about bloody time! :D. that line looks SUPER dark for an early HPT, how long since the transfer has it been? I have so much faith in this being it for you :) take more tests :D so excited! are you having any sypmtoms? xxx


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## SashimiMimi

I can't stop looking at the BFP on the HPT. I know I really shouldn't get ahead of myself until I have things confirmed by the clinic, but I have never even had a hint of a line in 15 months. I'm a little less nervous for the official beta blood test now, but that will be the 100% confirmation when I go this Tuesday.

Pino, it's really annoying when one rotten apple spoils things for the whole bunch. Don't stress about what may or may not happen with OH's work. You don't know that they will investigate. It's hard not to worst-case-scenario things, but just cross that bridge if it comes. 

Well, I think I'm going to go faint now. I don't even know what to think! I will not be telling anyone other than you guys, my family and a close friend. I want it to be Tuesday so I can know for sure!


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## SashimiMimi

Treasured we wrote at the same time!!! It's been 11 days since my transfer and the nurses at my clinic said it would be safe for me to do a home test today, as all the hormones that could cause a false positive would be out of my system by now. I know an HPT is not 100%, but I have never had one of those damn double lines on these sticks!

I have NO symptoms at all! That's why I didn't think it had worked. I had a little bit of cramping on and off, had a tiny amount of red spotting, but I've also had my uterus stabbed with a sharp stick to retrieve eggs and I've been injecting myself with all sorts of things. I was told my progesterone shots can mimic pregnancy symptoms, but I'm really not feeling anything at all... other than the odd cramp.


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## treasured

sorrry sash! I just read that you have no symptoms!! clearly just too foccused on your picture haha!


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## SashimiMimi

I think it's way too early to have symptoms and like I said, progesterone does mask a lot of them. So the odd cramp, and now that I think of it i have been rather gassy, although I thought it was because I had the runs for 3 days. TMI! I have had sore boobs, but I always get sore boobs on progesterone and have had sore boobs even with a BFN. My mom told me she had no symptoms at all with both my brother and I.


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## SashimiMimi

Oh wait... now that I think of it, I have wanted to eat lemons non stop this week. All I can think about are eating lemons! I don't know what to count as a PG symptom and what might be from the progesterone injections... But my acupuncturist said it's rare to feel anything in the TWW! I've been so stressed with what the outcome will be I haven't really paid attention to my body much since the transfer.


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## treasured

Ahh! Well if the nurse said it was safe for you to test today then I would totally trust it. I mean Ive heard of evaps but that line is really good for just 11 days, and the fact that you KNOW there was a fertilized little egg in there I would have faith :) But I know that you want deffinate confirmation on tuesday, I cant wait for you hehe! What is OHs reaction to this amazing news? 

Im not sure if you are able to temp or anything during this wait but have you been?


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## lxb

SASHIMI!!!!!!! Time for another puppy pile!!!! (this time....carefully as we hv so many pregnant ladies among us!!) sooo exciting!! Official blood work will confirm your bean is growing nicely! :happydance: :happydance:


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## haribo813

Sashimi that is amazing! I am SO ecstatic for you, it is brilliant news! Not surprised that you feel like fainting-must be so strange after looking in vain at that little line for so many months! Am absolutely delighted for you both. What did OH say?! Huge huge congrats and lack of symptoms should put all of us symptom spotters back in our boxes!

xxxxxxx


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## SashimiMimi

The whole HPT experience this morning was so surreal. Like I said before, the second line didn't appear right away and that's when I thought it was going to be yet another neg! Suddenly, that second line started to appear and I fell off the toilet and started yelling "Oh my God!!!" In a very high-pitched voice! LOL! OH was in the bedroom watching TV and he yelled WHAT!!! And I said the stick is positive, and I showed him and he couldn't believe it. We went out for brunch today to purely celebrate seeing 2 lines. OH told me he was very nervous for me to take the HPT, but in the past it has helped prepare me for results from the clinic. Part of me still can't imagine the clinic calling on Tuesday and saying it's for real. My acupuncturist who is a good friend of mine said that it is safe for me to get excited because obviously hcg is present in my urine... I'm still so shocked! I got a bit ahead of myself and started asking OH how we will travel to Vancouver to visit his family and how do people get on a 5 hour flight with a baby, formula, stroller, car seat. That's when he told me to cool down and let's just get through Tuesday to find out for sure if this is all real! 

I didn't ugly cry until about 10 minutes ago when I heard Blackbird by the Beatles on the radio. The lyrics: " All your life You were only waiting for this moment to arise" pretty much just made me break down and I had a good ugly cry session.

Thank you everyone for your kind words and encouraging me still while I wait to do a blood test this Tuesday. 

Haribo: I can't remember if I said this before, but I was really excited the other day when you mentioned that you have been to Banff and have had a poutine!!! Banff is one of my favourite places on earth!!!!


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## SleepyOwl

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sashimi I am soo happy for you girl!!! I had to sign on bc I has this feeling you might have tested. My heart could just about burst with happiness for you! What a wonderful moment for you after such a crazy journey. I hope your nine months are filled with so much happiness, joy and peace (I sound like a Christmas card and I totally don't care). Ahhh this is amazing news!!!!!!


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## SleepyOwl

And I'm feeling your ugly cry moment to such a good song too!!


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## SashimiMimi

It's 6:30 here and I did another HPT. Still positive. I had a terrible sleep and caved in and took some medication for sleeping that my doctor said would be safe. I'd prefer not to take anything at all, but at the rate I was going I would have been up all night! Now I've woke up early for no reason! At first the BFP line on today's HPT looked a lot lighter and I freaked but after letting it sit for a few minutes it became just as dark as yesterday!! How will I make it through until tomorrow for the clinic to confirm this is real???!!


----------



## lauren26

Sashimi - I had the same experience with hpts--some seemed darker or lighter than the day before but usually if I let them sit they'd fully 'develop'. I finally did two tests with the same pee and the lines showed different darkness, so I think each test has a different amount of dye! Don't worry. You will make it to tomorrow. Did you call to tell them you got a +?


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## Pino6161

Sash--- I agree w/ Lauren, all tests, even the same brand and batch have a diff amount of dye even slightly. Sorry you are having trouble sleeping, it's probably all the excitement.

SO I am really confused. I am 2 days late, and the hpt is negative! On top of that the last 3 days my temperature has stabalized, it is really weird. I am getting really frustrated.


----------



## lxb

sashimi - agree with these ladies. all htps are different! SOOOO excited for you!!! Probably you're too anxious to fall asleep~ :) Can't wait 'til tmr's confirmation!! :dance:

pino - maybe you have a shy bfp~ :hugs: temp still looks great!


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks for the reassurance. I'm a total wreck today as I don't think my nerves can take this! It will be a long 24 or so hours until I get the results. Whhheeewww until then I keep peaking in my purse to make sure the lines are still there. Yes I'm a lunatic and carrying my POAS around with me as if they are the latest accessory!!


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## lxb

:haha: Ooo~~ BFP is a GREAT accessory~~~ Looking forward to the confirmation!! Is it 24 hours later yet???


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## lauren26

Sashimi - I totally get it and your blood test will go great! :) When I finally did my two htps with one pee I did an Answer and FRER. The Answer supposedly only picks up hcg at 100mg or whatever the unit of measurement is while FRER should pick up 25. This made me think that the Answer would be way lighter and it was super darker than the control line while the FRER test line was equal darkness to control. So you just can't tell based on that! As long as you're still getting a + you're good :) 

Pino - Maybe you do have an elusive BFP!! Those temps sure look nice. Are you doing FMU every time? My SMU ended up working better if I waited a few hours. But I also pee all through the night! Fx for you :hugs:


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## treasured

sashimi im lolling so much at accessorizing your bfp! so good! all will be fine :D so excited for you :)

pino- I think theres still hope girl!! some bfps dont show till like 16DPO! your temp leveling looks good! even if this isnt your month at least you have a good length LP!! 

I think I am going to start temping vaginally from next cycle because I think the reason my temps have been so low is cause my room is freezing/ I have a cold... therefore the thermometer was a lot colder than it should be and my mouth always open! I read that you should warm it up before taking it So I did, my oral reading was 36.61 compared to yesterdays 35.87, and vaginally it was 36.68. So im not too ice-like this month after all haha! not sure it is helpful for my bfp though cause this is roughly the same temp as last month before AF!


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## Pino6161

I do use FMU but today I used both 1st and 2nd :shrug: So IDK I always thought my temp would go way up there and then stabilize, but IDK


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## Pino6161

treasured--- I also do mine vaginally, but I find that if I have sex right before bed it can tweak my temp a bit, but other than that it is much more reliable than orally


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## Pino6161

OK so this afternoon I have really bad heartburn and waves of nausea, they go as fast as they come :shrug: I also have a headache. I keep thinking AF is coming cause of cramps, but they keep going on and off as well......

All our pregnant crazy ladies---- What were your symptoms? Am I just nuts? (My OH thinks so :haha:)


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## lauren26

Pino - my most obvious sign was the nausea but I also cried a lot. I got a bad headache the day after my bfp and have had little cramps on and off since about 5w.


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## lauren26

I take that back, the cramps started the day I missed AF.


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## Pino6161

I haven't been crying but I have been really extremely moody. Cramps started 2 days before AF was supposed to start :shrug: I know there is hope, but I really wish I could find out either way sooner! I am NOT a patient person!!


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> OK so this afternoon I have really bad heartburn and waves of nausea, they go as fast as they come :shrug: I also have a headache. I keep thinking AF is coming cause of cramps, but they keep going on and off as well......
> 
> All our pregnant crazy ladies---- What were your symptoms? Am I just nuts? (My OH thinks so :haha:)

heartburn, check
nausea, check
dizziness, check
headaches came a bit later
and AF "like" cramps from about 3-4 dpo for me.

Fingers crossed for ya :dust:


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## lauren26

Chart's looking good, Sleepy!


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## Pino6161

Another BFN, and a slight drop in my temp. I am so confused! I think I am going to hold off testing for a while as I feel like I am wasting all these tests.


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## lxb

pino - still above coverline! I hope it's just a really shy bfp and FX there will be two pretty lines!!! 

sleepy - chart DOES look good!!

treasured - your chart is looking good too~~ I guess temping vaginally works better eh? :haha:


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## SashimiMimi

Pino you could always pop into your doctor for a blood test instead of relying on HPTs. Hcg hormones would be present in your blood by now and it's the only way to be 100% accurate. 

Well my blood has been drawn and now I wait endlessly to get the official phone call. I'm less nervous today but obviously still apprehensive to get confirmation. My HPT was more solid and darker this morning so I do hope that is a good sign. I was told I would get a call between 1-4 p.m. 

I can barely concentrate!


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## Pino6161

I am to scared to go to the Dr. Neg HPT's are hard to take but they are much easier than a neg. blood test. Does that sound stupid??


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## SashimiMimi

I think waiting around endlessly is worse. I'd rather just know one way or another!!


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## countrygirl86

OMG! Congratulations Sashimi! Your test looks just like mine did, so pretty :) I can't believe all the excitement around here; Sleepy's chart looks great, Pino's officially late, lxb's ready to officially start TTCing again, treasured's temps are good and high, lauren's got a blueberry, preg and I find out the genders tomorrow! I'm excited for Sashimi to hear back about the blood test :winkwink:! What will your due date be?

I'm with Sashimi there, since you are over now Pino, I'd rather just know. Knowing doesn't change the outcome, either you are or aren't!


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## lxb

:happydance: they will call ANY time now Sashimi~~~ 

can't wait to hear about the gender scan from country & preg!! (I'm thinking boy for country and girl for preg!)

pino - agree with sashimi & country. I would just want to know once and for all! and it is you either are or aren't. waiting game sucks


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## Pino6161

I know you guys are right, but I will be devastated if it is negative :cry:


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## SashimiMimi

But imagine how delighted you will be if it's positive. Also if it is and you need to take some precautions like take progesterone for example, you'd want to start that now as opposed to later.


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## lxb

BUT.. if it's positive! You would be spending all these waiting time being frustrated instead of celebrating!! :dance:

If it's negative... then you will better prepare yourself for it when it comes~


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## lauren26

There is a lot of excitement around here, country!! I can't wait for you tell us the gender--my bet is still on boy. :) 

Pino - I am with these ladies--your BFP might be shy and a blood test would solve it. But if you want to wait another day that might tell you, too! If you're still late tomorrow that's a great sign. 

Sashimi - I hope and bet they will call you right away! With my first hcg they called at the very end of the day. After that they knew I was nervous because I kept calling with questions :blush: so they put me on the top of their call list after that and called before the scheduled time for the next two. I can't wait to hear the official confirmation!!

Sleepy - Where you at grrrrrl? Those temps look mighty fine. 

lxb - Gearing up for TTC? :)


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## countrygirl86

We are all here to support you no matter which way it is Pino :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

The suspense is killing me ladies. I'm sitting at my desk feeling like I can't even breathe!


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## lxb

:hugs: :hugs: waiting is so cruel~ any minute now!!!!

pino - yep~ we're here either way~! Hoping will do a :happydance: though~~!! 

lauren - yep! Going to put the bottle of grapefruit juice in the fridge tonight and start chucking down a glass a day! :dance: (Still a bit disappointed af showed...but the fact that it is here and I need to focus on next cycle). I love June babies (both my parents were born in June! ... :wacko: think MIL was born in June too! :dohh:)


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## Pino6161

Ok my crazy ladies convinced me :haha: I made an appt for tomorrow, so I will find out then. Pray for me!!! I am nervous as hell


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## Pino6161

Sash--- I am waiting!! Call them and tell them to hurry their asses up :haha:I am sure everything is great!!


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## countrygirl86

Sashimi - Don't be afraid to be confident at this point! Will you have to go back in for testing again to check more levels? Does the fertility clinic take over monitoring you for the next bit or do you go back to your family doctor for prenatal visits?

lxb - June is a great month! DH and I started dating in June :)


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## countrygirl86

Pino - YAY! What time do you go tomorrow??


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## SashimiMimi

Okay ladies, they called and it's offically. After 15 long months, numerous failed IUIs and one round of IVF, I have finally gotten my BFP. I will have to go back and make sure my BETA blood levels are doubling on Thursday and then schedule my first ultrasound for Sept 24 or 25. My OH is at a conference so you ladies know about the official BFP before HIM! 

I honestly can't believe it and I'm in a complete state of shock. I guess I kind of knew based on the HPTs, but blood is the only way to confirm it. There is no way I could have made it through the past 6 months without this fabulous group. I don't know my due date, but I used one of those online calculators for women doing IVF and the website predicted May 19... so we will see. 

I just called my mom and said "Hi Grama!" and she burst into tears. I was talking to her in the same alley behind my office that I had a meltdown in when I got my third failed IUI. Wow... finally. I can't believe it and am filled with so much gratitude right now!

Pino - so glad you are going to the doctor!!! xoxoxo


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## lxb

SashimiMimi said:


> I just called my mom and said "Hi Grama!" and she burst into tears.

I was :cry: when I read this!! (happy tears of course!!) SOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOO incredibly excited for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

BFP is in the air~~~
:rain: :rain: :rain:


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## Pino6161

Change of plans. The Dr is sending me to the lab to get the blood test TODAY!! I won't get the results 24-48 hours though


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## SashimiMimi

Oh geez Pino! I feel for you. I had to wait from 8 this morning until about 1:45 and THAT was long enough.

Thanks Lxb. Now we've got some BFP momentum going here. More to follow!!!


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## Pino6161

Sash!! I am crying happy tears for you!!! :cry: I am so happy for you! :hugs:


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## countrygirl86

That is so awesome Sashimi! You did it! You are growing a baby inside of you! Any special plans to celebrate tonight? 

Pino, I'm excited for you :) There sure is a lot of waiting when trying to make a baby isn't there?!


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## SashimiMimi

OH is at a conference but he just called me. I texted him with "You are going to be a dad!" and he is over the moon! He did ask when we would find out if it's twins or not and I told him to stop obsessing about that. It's highly unlikely and we don't care who is in there, we are just overjoyed with a positive result. It's about healthy pregnancy!

Country, yes I can't believe that there is someone growing in there. I always thought that I would "feel" something or that it would feel like someone is in there. I can't say that I've had any real symptoms either except for excessive peeing in the night, quick AF-like cramps that last for 15 seconds or so, had spotting 1 day only, and I've been wanting to eat lemons!!! I can't stop thinking about lemons. I don't even know if it's good to eat lemons, maybe they are too acidic. LOL!


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## countrygirl86

I believe those cramps are your uterus starting to grow! I would get sharp pains when I moved a certain way or sneezed lol I've heard of the lemons thing, it's weird but it's fairly common! Do you just eat one like an orange?


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## SashimiMimi

I slice it into quarters and eat it one like an orange. I've also found that I want to put salt on the lemon... but no tequila of course. ;) I have found in the past after I have been really sick I want salty things like pickles or bacon, so I thought the lemons were my body recovering from the retrieval and the over-stimulation from all the drugs. But maybe it was my first food craving? 

I can't believe it's only 3:15 here. This day is dragging on forever. I just want to skip all the way home and SCREAM!!! 

I'm now paranoid about all the beauty products I use. I'm a beauty junkie so to speak... I like doing Shellac manicures on my nails (UV-cured nail polish that lasts for 2-3 weeks), I colour my hair and my bathroom is like a mini Sephora of makeup, face and body products. I just researched a new book that came out a couple months ago called Belli Beautiful that dictates what is safe and what is not when it comes to beauty products. There is so much information on food, but barely anything on cosmetics!


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## lxb

Oo.. i LOVE sephora~ :haha: I'm pretty sure a lot of the cosmetic product are safe as long as you nose can handle it and not feel nausea. One of my cousin feels nausea by the smell of nail polish/nail products! As far as hair coloring goes... I think I might've read something about bleaching could be harmful as it's harsh chemical. But other coloring should be okay~ (but what do i know? :haha:).

Oo.. lemon sounded common. I know a lot of people craves for sour things. My sis kept munching on something called 'sour plums'. And every time when someone saw someone munch on sour plums or crave for sour plums.. people will get suspicious (maybe it's just a Chinese thing). I guess the sourness helps with nausea too~


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## lauren26

Yayy, Sashimi!! It's official!!!! :cloud9:

:wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo:

I am so excited for you and OH and I wish you a Happy and Healthy 9 months!! Now it's _officially _time to celebrate :)

Pino - Good for you!! So you had the draw and now just have to wait for the results?? I am praying for you, girl!

Sleepy - Are you going to TEST?

lxb - Yay for a new start!! I know that rainbow BFP is just around the corner...I was born in June, too! As was Sashimi! ;)

Country - DYING to know the gender and I just don't think I can wait til tomorrow! LOL. 

How are all the other crazy ladies?

AFM, still sick but I'm at work :( Feeling scared that this cold will harm the bean, but I know I'm not the first pregnant woman to get sick.


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## haribo813

FABULOUS news Sashimi! So glad it's been confirmed for you! So so exciting, what a lucky little bean (or 2 beans?!) to have you as a mum. What a journey, am over the moon for you both and hope you are celebrating in style!

Pino good luck my dear-and as Country said, we're here for you whatever. It's so much better to be well informed, regardless of how scary bad news seems. We're all the same whenever we go to doctors to get checked out but knowledge is power!

Country and Pino-wow, what an exciting day tomorrow! Can't wait to find out the sexes-then they seem much more real and like little people somehow!

Lxb-sorry AF showed but great spirit girl, onwards and upwards.

Treasured/Sleepy-hope you're both well and Lauren hope you get over this cold pronto!

xxxx


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## ladyf

Sashimi congratulation! wishing you a healthy and happy 9 months. you have given me hope that ivf can work,am waiting for Af to arrive any day now and start my ivf cycle.l hope it will work the first round like yours. happy for you!!!


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## SashimiMimi

Thanks ladyf!! Good luck to you. If you have any questions about IVF I can pretty much give you a step-by-step synopsis of what happens.


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## Pino6161

Ok so I got the draw, and HOPEFULLY I will find out tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed.

Sash--- you got a strong BFP really early, so there might be a chance of twins :haha: I am so HAPPY for you!!!

Country, and Pilot---- Can't wait to hear the sex!!!

Lxb--- I am glad your period has finally regulated, and HAPPY mother in-law less day!!! 

Sleepy--- When are you going to test???

How is everyone else.???


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi - Sooo happy your blood test went well! I bet that wait was the longest wait of your life!! I love how you told your mom. It must have felt so good being able to say that. 

Pino - So excited that you went to get your blood drawn. Being late is HUGE! I'm going to HAVE to sign on tomorrow to get the results. Sending you lots of positive thoughts and baby dust!!

I'm probably not going to test until AF is late, because I'm not feeling like this is my month. AF is due on my actual birthday. I will be pissed to say the least if she does. Plus I'm heading to Syracuse tomorrow til Friday afternoon, then it's all the bday stuff. I feel like it's too early to be excited about my chart! I don't want to get my hopes up. Okay I've got to be up at 5 am to catch this flight so I'm off to bed. I'll try to sign on tomorrow at the hotel!!


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## SashimiMimi

I'm going against the majority vote and say country is having a girl!! 

Pino good luck. We are all here for you.

Sleepy!! Thank you!! Good luck on the work trip and hope AF stays away. When is your next doctors appointment?


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## preg_pilot

SashimiMimi said:


> OH is at a conference but he just called me. I texted him with "You are going to be a dad!" and he is over the moon! He did ask when we would find out if it's twins or not and I told him to stop obsessing about that. It's highly unlikely and we don't care who is in there, we are just overjoyed with a positive result. It's about healthy pregnancy!
> 
> Country, yes I can't believe that there is someone growing in there. I always thought that I would "feel" something or that it would feel like someone is in there. I can't say that I've had any real symptoms either except for excessive peeing in the night, quick AF-like cramps that last for 15 seconds or so, had spotting 1 day only, and I've been wanting to eat lemons!!! I can't stop thinking about lemons. I don't even know if it's good to eat lemons, maybe they are too acidic. LOL!

Lol, I hear ya on the lemons. I craved anything sour for the first 3 months. Not so much anymore though.

Congrats again :hugs:



SashimiMimi said:


> I slice it into quarters and eat it one like an orange. I've also found that I want to put salt on the lemon... but no tequila of course. ;) I have found in the past after I have been really sick I want salty things like pickles or bacon, so I thought the lemons were my body recovering from the retrieval and the over-stimulation from all the drugs. But maybe it was my first food craving?
> 
> I can't believe it's only 3:15 here. This day is dragging on forever. I just want to skip all the way home and SCREAM!!!
> 
> I'm now paranoid about all the beauty products I use. I'm a beauty junkie so to speak... I like doing Shellac manicures on my nails (UV-cured nail polish that lasts for 2-3 weeks), I colour my hair and my bathroom is like a mini Sephora of makeup, face and body products. I just researched a new book that came out a couple months ago called Belli Beautiful that dictates what is safe and what is not when it comes to beauty products. There is so much information on food, but barely anything on cosmetics!

I´ve heard about hair coloring being hazardous, as some chemicals can enter your blood through the scalp, but I would research your brand specifically to make sure.



lauren26 said:


> Yayy, Sashimi!! It's official!!!! :cloud9:
> 
> :wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo:
> 
> I am so excited for you and OH and I wish you a Happy and Healthy 9 months!! Now it's _officially _time to celebrate :)
> 
> Pino - Good for you!! So you had the draw and now just have to wait for the results?? I am praying for you, girl!
> 
> Sleepy - Are you going to TEST?
> 
> lxb - Yay for a new start!! I know that rainbow BFP is just around the corner...I was born in June, too! As was Sashimi! ;)
> 
> Country - DYING to know the gender and I just don't think I can wait til tomorrow! LOL.
> 
> How are all the other crazy ladies?
> 
> AFM, still sick but I'm at work :( Feeling scared that this cold will harm the bean, but I know I'm not the first pregnant woman to get sick.

I have a severe cold myself, and my friend has been sick almost for her entire pregnancy (I think she picked up all and any bugs going around), and she´s alright. I don´t think you need to worry.
I am going to the doctor later today, to see if there is anything I CAN take while pregnant, as it wouldn´t be good manners for me to take a sick leave, so soon before leaving for maternity leave... :blush:
And I can´t work if I´m sick at all, not even with a tiny innocent little cold.
(and I definitely don´t have one of those - throat hurts, head hurts, ears hurt and I´m coughing and sneezing like crazy, just waiting for my eyes to start leaking... sheesh).


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## treasured

Oh my gosh Sashimi Im soooooo over the moon for you :D We all knew this was the time for you! I wish you an amazing happy healthy nine months and you are going to be a fantastic mum! Wow it is so so so encouraging to see you ladies achieving the BFP dream :D I have hope for myself yet hehe! 

pino- good luck girl!!! I have all fingers and toes crossed for you :) Still no sign of AF? this is an amazing LP for you I cant believe it cant be your BFP!! when do you find out the results?

country- I agree with sash I think its a girl too! even if I said boy before haha! SO excited to find out!

preg- is your scan today as well? I wanna knowwww! :)

sleepy- I am feeling the same about it not being my month, are you having any symptoms? Im due AF tomorrow and havent actually even been temped to test. Got to the stage that if I see another lonely line I think I will scream!!! What date is your birthday again? FX for an amazing suprise present! 

lxb- so glad you and OH can start TTC properly now that AF has come, god I cant wait to see the back of her for good! This is the last time I will be sorta glad to see her for you haha! Now be gone :witch: be gone!!! 

everyone else- helllo! how is everyone feeling? I think we are pretty much equal now with preggers ladies and not. Dayyyummm I need to catch up 

Temp went up again today... not sure if its cause I was moving before I took it though, I did scale it down in order to calculate it a few hours before, and I took it vaginally, would BBT change that much down there? :haha: im clueless!


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## lxb

C'mon BFP :rain: :rain: :rain:

waiting to hear about the gender scan from country & preg!! :dance: 

treasured - if you say you sleep with your mouth open.. bbt would be significantly different down there~ your chart is looking mighty fine~~ 13dpo and temp is still up! (12dpo and 13dpo is temping from hoo ha right?)

Oo... 

preggo crazy ladies -- preg, country, lauren, sashimi 
pupo ladies - pino, sleepy, treasured, haribo?
currently on af - me :dohh:


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## SashimiMimi

My SIL had an online support group similar to this when she was struggling with TTC. All of the crazy ladies in here group eventually got BFPs. Some took longer than others and one of them ended up adopting. I know we are all going to get there and soon Lxb's list will be everyone in the preggo crazy lady category. :)


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## treasured

FX!! I hope you are right Sashimi!! :dust:


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## Pino6161

Just a quick pop in I about to leave to get my results!!


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## treasured

Yayyy good luck pino!!! x


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## lauren26

Fx Pino!!!


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## lxb

So exciting!!! :happydance:

Good Luck~~~~~~~


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## Pino6161

Blood test is negative :cry: iam so confused


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## lxb

oh pino :hugs: the hope is still high. maybe it's still too early. I just did some google search for negative blood work. it is certainly a GREAT sign that you are late and temp is still up! A lot of the posts I read pretty much said the same thing.. urine/blood/hpt were negative but AF is late. And everything turned positive just a few days later!

FX!!!!


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## treasured

Nooooo :'( pino!! :hugs: I am also so confused!! how many days late are you now? stupid :witch: playing games with you!! grrr!


----------



## lauren26

I am going with what lxb said!!! It could be right around the corner :hugs:


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## Pino6161

I keep getting waves of tears. It makes no sense. I am 5 days late, and my temp was the exact same as yesterday. I am above the cover line. I feel like I am being tortured.

PS I would also like to say that seeing the negative on a blood test is 500% worst than an HPT


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## lxb

dear pino~! I shall considered you to be PUPO~! 

:hugs: :hugs:


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## Pino6161

??? what the heck is that??


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## countrygirl86

That's what Sashimi was, Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise :)


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## Pino6161

That makes sense. But beings how I am 15 DEPO why would a blood test be neg. and still be??? I don't know. I think I am just scared to hope right now. I really thought the blood test would be positive. It crushed me when it wasn't


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## lxb

pino - I read numerous similar stories. it could still be too early. The fact is, your AF is late and probably will be a no-show! sometimes it just takes a while for those tests to show up positive! I understand how you are scared to hope... I know I would be too. Us crazy ladies are crossing everything we've got ... and just need to push that shy bfp out of her closet already! :thumbup:


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## haribo813

Ah fingers crossed Pino and sorry you're going through the awful not knowing....I really hope this is your time and you find out some good news very soon!

Country-can you confirm you're having a girl for me?! Lxb I hope the witch passes you by very soon and doesn't decide to visit any of us remaining ladies on her way out.

I'm on day 22, so due next Tue 18 but suspect AF will be a day late. We are then seeing a specialist on Thu 20. My sister had my niece in October 2011 and I found out at the weekend that she's 8 weeks pregnant with her 2nd. I am absolutely delighted for her but at the same time feel like a bit of a failure as we've been hoping for a baby since August last year, well before my niece was born and now she's moving on to number 2 no problem. Ah well, excited to be an auntie for the 3rd time.

I am starting my new job later than I wanted to but it's ok, I've got used to it now and just getting on with my work and my bosses. I've been really tired and feeling really drained the last week-think combination of being able to breathe easy after getting my new job and just feeling drained from tests/worrying about TTC as well as going to lots of weddings! (Next one is next week people!)

Am in process of planning my Sicily trip which is fun-we're going 1st week of October xxx

ps-Sleepy is it your birthday today or have I made that completely up?! Am bit all over the place!


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## Pino6161

Thanks Haribo--- I hope everything goes well with the specialist!! :hugs:

PS. both preg_pilot and country are having boys :danceL LOL. They posted in the journals :hugs:


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## lxb

haribo - Oo.. AF hit me hard! I think from yesterday & today.. I've had more than enough flow that can cover everyone~ So I'm pretty sure I'm taking this big one for the team and she shall be gone for good! She shall meet up with MIL on her cruise and off to nowhereland~ :thumbup:

Yep~ preg & country both having boys~~~~ :happydance: the two big brothers for all of our kids~ :dance:


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## treasured

So a temp drop gave her away and now af is here right on time! :( god she doesn't wait around. I cant even ugly cry this month I just feel defeated. I feel I want to take a break this month but dont want to miss a charting cycle. Hmmf.


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## treasured

Oops dont know how to delete posts


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## countrygirl86

It's a boy for me :) 

haribo - you are in a good place, not long now till either AF and next steps OR BFP (I'm rooting for the latter!). Sucks about your job but try and focus on that trip, the light at the end of this crazy month for you!

lxb - hopefully AF is just getting it all out now so you can have your DHs birthday BD? How long is she usually around? 

treasured - sometimes breaks are necessary, and it's not unheard of to get BFPs on break cycles! I'm sorry she came for you this month, I wish I could whisk her away with lxb's! 

Pino - How are you feeling today?


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## SashimiMimi

I'm waiting for my second beta test to make sure my hcg hormones have doubled. I'm a little nervous! Wish me luck ladies. I have to wait all afternoon for the call. Will write more later when I'm not on my phone.


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## countrygirl86

Good luck Sashimi! We'll be waiting for the news :coffee:


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## preg_pilot

treasured said:


> preg- is your scan today as well? I wanna knowwww! :)

Yep, had my scan yesterday :)
Team Blue it is :)


Sorry I didn´t post sooner, I´ve been sick at home, and trying to do everything at once.
I´ve solved just about every problem I had, both bird cage issues, bought the apartment today, and talked to the customs office :)




Pino6161 said:


> Blood test is negative :cry: iam so confused

I hope your´s is just shy like mine :)



Pino6161 said:


> That makes sense. But beings how I am 15 DEPO why would a blood test be neg. and still be??? I don't know. I think I am just scared to hope right now. I really thought the blood test would be positive. It crushed me when it wasn't

:hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Preg what bird cage issue? Do you have a bird?


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## preg_pilot

SashimiMimi said:


> Preg what bird cage issue? Do you have a bird?

Yes, I have a parrot. We moved her to Denmark in January this year, and are moving her back to Iceland now.
We need an acrylic cage to transport her back in (as Icelandic vets don´t accept wood cages for quarantine reasons), and I need to rent a cage for the quarantine here, as it would cost too much to transport her large cage back to Iceland via air-transport.

I´m building the acrylic cage these days myself (can´t buy one small enough).


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## Pino6161

Well I was all excited this morning cause my temp was high. Then it hit me like a bus a wave of nausea and horrible back ache and cramps. The witch is on her way. TMI-there is nothing when I wipe, but I used a tampon, and I was right, bright red blood. 

I feel crushed! Like I was ran over by a bus and then hit by a plane and fed to hungry wolves.


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## lxb

good luck sashimi~~~

pino!!!!! I'm sooo confused! This is wrong!! :growlmad:

preg - looooovee the scan pic!


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## SashimiMimi

I'm so sorry Pino. I remember once how I had a 35 day cycle (usually 29) and I was so hopeful. The disappointment crushed me. There isn't anything we can say to make you feel better.

I do hope that you can somehow see a fertility doctor before March and get to the bottom of the issue. So often when even the slightest thing is off it prevents conception. And until you and DH get a full analysis done you won't know what that issue might be. Trust me seeing a specialist is not scary. They have solutions for the most severe issues right down to the little things.


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## lauren26

Pino :hugs: Those misleading and long cycles are awful. I have had charts that looked SO great and ended up being BFNs. I am sorry.


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## countrygirl86

:hugs: Pino


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## Pino6161

So I am really disappointed, and confused. I am trying my best to not to wallow but the cramps reminding me constant it is difficult.

Near where I live there is a health center with a sliding fee scale so me and my mother in-law went down and applied. As of right now our fee will only be $15 and after my OH's residency is done it will go up to $50, but still it's cheap. I am going to get a new primary put all the tests I have done behind me and start over. I think it is what I need. I can not wait until March. I am so frustrated and confused. I need answers. Preferable now.

This past cycle was really hard on me, and my relationship with my husband. We both let our hopes sore for really the 1st time since my last MC. We were crushed. My OH tries to be as strong as he can, and I just shut down. We need answers. I am hoping it is a simple fix, but either way we have to do something.


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## treasured

Pino- im so sorry this has happend at this time to you! you have waited so long for this and this stupid late AF has just made it worse! I remember a few months ago while on holiday my AF was 3 days late and I got so excited, and had the BFNS too. It was horrible! 
:hugs: I think it is a good idea to restart your tests, there MUST be some reason as to why this isnt working for you! I know its not good to hear, and it makes me worry too, but I read that only between 5-7% of people in their 20s stuggle with infertility... This is why Im going to see a doctor soon too I think because it just cant be right. What were your doctors like the first time you decided to go? Mine was very judgemental when I asked about TTC because of my young age. 

I just got AF today too so Im not feeling very good either... but I know having your hopes built up and shattered is even worse. Atleast we can be cycle buddies this month... :)


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## lauren26

Pino I'm so glad you're getting a new doc so that you don't have to suffer through any more BFNs without answers!!! :hugs:


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## countrygirl86

Pino - I agree with lauren, I want answers for you! 

treasured - sorry AF got you too. Best to look on the positive side of having a cycle buddy! The cycle I got my BFP I started out as cycle buddies with Sleepy and it was so nice (but she ended up having 2 AFs before I tested lol)


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## lxb

pino - hope you get those answers! March is just way too far away....

treasured - ahh! that witch! it's always great to have cycle buddies~ and hopefully that will turn into bump buddies!


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- MY doctors were HORRIBLE from the get go. They kept telling me the opinions on how I still haven't lived my life and having kids would ruin it etc. I am glad we are cycle buddies, but you may lap me :haha:


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## SleepyOwl

Pino - so sorry about AF. I agree with the other ladies about maybe restarting your fertility test. I hope you are feeling better :hugs:

Sashimi - any word back from the doctor?

Country and Preg - congrats!!!! How fun to finally know :)

Treasured - sorry about AF friend. How are you feeling?

Haribo - my bday is next Wednesday. You were close though!!

Afm, still on work travel heading back home tomorrow. My temp went up today but I think maybe that was because my hotel room was hot. I'm exhausted from this trip. I'm going to try to sneak a nap in before dinner!


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## SashimiMimi

The Doctor's office called so late in the day. My beta levels are at 273 up from 169. They said that was good but I was told intially they were looking to have it double. I did hear that it takes 48-72 hours for the levels to double completely and they said the "levels were rising nicely."

I've been so anxious all day and need to go back for 2 more rounds of beta testing. One on Saturday and another 2-4 days later. I wonder if there will ever be a time where I can just rest and not be a nervous wreck!


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## Pino6161

I am sure everything will go fine, and you will have a sigh of relief when the tests come out great. Just breath and let the little one grow! :hugs:


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## countrygirl86

Sleepy - yes, maybe it's that your hotel room is hot. OR maybe it's that you have a BFP waiting when you get back home! 

Sashimi - I went to the doctor 3 days after getting my first pos. test and they didn't do any bloods, just sent me on my way saying so early there's nothing we can do to prevent any bad things, see me in 4 weeks! Glad your results are good, it's almost more stressful having those tests! Now that you are going to be a Mom, there will NEVER be a time you aren't worried :haha: but it's a good feeling :)

I know you ladies love a good MIL rant so here's one from me! Let's just say MIL was less than happy about the inside of the cupcake being blue, I couldn't believe it! I would think the news that there's a healthy baby carrying your genes growing would be fantastic but apparently because he has a weenie it's disappointing! I hadn't seen her in almost 2 months and she never asked how I was feeling, actually she didn't talk to ME at all, just DH (which I guess I should be happy about). Sorry to vent ladies, I just couldn't believe her reaction and am NOT letting it bring me down AT ALL! A healthy baby boy is amazing!


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## lauren26

Country - Yay! A MIL rant! :haha: They can be such pains when it comes to this stuff and really show their attachment to our DH's and their baby preferences! But good for you--you have a miraculous little boy growing inside you and no one can take that from you and DH! I think that our MILs (and moms...don't even get me started on my mom!!) do a little re-hashing of their pasts as moms and maybe a little bit of living vicariously through us and our DH's during times like these. My MIL was just shocked when their first grandchild was born because she was an accident, but now that she's awaiting #4 I think her parenting opinions are fully re-formed!! She and FIL actually told DH and I a couple of years ago that it was 'so nice' that it was just the two of us without any loud kids--and that they thought we could wait a while! Not what I'd expect to hear from PIL! Anyway, like I said in your journal, I LOVE the cupcakes and I'm glad the rest of your family was happy :)

Sleepy - Girl your chart looks good any way you slice it! Fx that it's looking good for a reason ;)

Sashimi - Don't let anyone scare you--I agree with country that the tests are almost too much. I am happy that I've had them but at first I thought my numbers weren't rising fast enough, then I thought they rose too fast :wacko: and all of it was within normal range. The important thing is that your docs said they're happy with the results! It's a pain that you have to go through two more of those, but you will feel better seeing the full range of your results and knowing you're doing great!

Afm, last night was #2 of losing my dinner (so yuck) and I woke up in the middle of the night feeling soooo nauseous with a pounding headache! I suppose I'm grateful still for the symptoms because they make me think things are happening, but the cold is still here too so I'm ready for a weekend of sleep :haha: I am about to have my review at work and am praying that I got a bigger raise than the cost of living increase I already knew about, but I'm not getting my hopes up! Happy Friday, crazy ladies!


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## lxb

sashimi - those tests and those waiting for results are just nerve wrecking! like country said.. you ARE going to be a Mom! there will never be a true moment that you're not worry and this is only the beginning~ Yay to the first step towards parenthood~ :thumbup:

sleepy - i'm w/ country! maybe there's a bfp waiting for you~~ 

country - woohoo!! LOVE MIL rant! The fact that she didn't even ask how you are doing at all is just annoying! afterall, it IS her grandson! but you're right, don't let her reaction and her lack of happiness affect you because it is just not worth it. people have their own expectation and it's not our job to meet their expectations.

lauren - ergh @ losing dinner but yay for symptoms!! hope your review goes well and FX for that bif fat raise!! 

pino & treasured - how are you two doing? hope af isn't too bad.

afm, DH's birthday is today! af is medium/light when I went to bed last night. It was about 3:30am when he got home as he is working the 2nd shift this week. I was half asleep when he got back and I said.. "Happy Birthday!! Would you want your present now or later?" <== ahhaa... why did I even bother to ask?! he loved his presents! Didn't have birthday bd as it won't be pretty and I want to sleep afterward and not shower! :haha: (sorry... tmi!)

:wacko: it's going to be a loooong day today! I didn't go to sleep 'til ~11:30... got woken up by DH's phone call at around 12:15 as he couldn't pre-order iphone5 (woohoo! My very first smartphone!!). Got hungry.. ate something... went back to bed ~1:30? Got woken up by DH again ~3:30... gave him his present & went back to sleep ~4? :shrug: I feel like a zombie right now sitting in my cubicle~

cd5. af this morning was light/spotty. So I guess we could've had bday bd! :haha:

Happy Friday crazy ladies~~


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## SashimiMimi

Country - I am so mad at your MIL right now. How could she express any type of gender disappointment after all you and your OH have been through!? Well I am delighted for you both and little boys are the cutest. 

My OH has told all of his siblings about our news, with the exception of his father. His dad tends to occasionally be really over the top, and always asks millions of questions and OH just doesn't want to deal with it right now. For example, on several occasions FIL has said in front of SIL and her OH that the best day of his life is when she married her first OH! She had a messy divorce many many years ago, yet the dad keeps bringing up what a great day that was. Never mind her wedding to her current husband!! I don't know if FIL was trying to make me feel better a couple months ago, but he told me how much he hates babies and little kids out of no where over the phone. It may have been one of the many very random things he says, or perhaps he knew that we were struggling. LOL! 

Pino - I'm delighted that you will see a new doctor and just get a clean slate with this whole thing. If one doctor doesn't give you answers, seek another that will tell you what the problem is. I have no doubt in my mind that you are going to achieve the results you want!

Lxb and Lauren, thank you for easing my fears. I feel like I'm in a 12 week wait now and waiting on results of frequent tests will be hard but I prefer this kind of anxiety to the alternative. I Googled the heck out of HCG testing and I read that it is normal for levels to rise 60% in 48 hours and that it can take up to 72 to double completely. I can't believe I have to go for another blood test and wait around all day for results tomorrow. I'm visiting my parents and their 3 dogs tomorrow, so at least I won't be at work unable to concentrate.


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## lauren26

Work rant!!!! (can you tell already I didn't get my raise?) SO my workplace had me budget in 3% (cost of living?) increases for all employees--including myself, specifically--before review time. I expected to receive an increase that would put me at the salary I requested when I came back into a management role! But instead they gave me 1.5% as a 'gesture' stating that I got an increase when I came back...I was like, No! I got a new job with a starting salary and WAY more responsibility and work! And I saved your asses (back story available)! Oh, can I also say that this was after receiving absolutely SPARKLING praise and being told that I always go way above and beyond!! The other main reason I got for not getting more of an increase was that I don't have a business degree, which is apparently part of my minimum requirements...it made me feel like unless I get a second degree it won't matter how good of a job I'm doing--I just won't enjoy the benefit of an increase!! Grrrr!!!!! I wrote my supervisor and said as much after, in a much more diplomatic fashion.....Rant over! Thanks for listening crazy ladies.

Sashimi - Pregnancy is such an organic and mysterious process--I think you're doing great and that everything you've experienced so far is totally normal! I am glad that your docs have their heads on straight about it. I found, too, that my docs didn't have rigid expectations of what my numbers etc should look like. I think even with measuring the bean for dating purposes there is a margin and some space for variation. I hope your next few days getting this testing go fast!

lxb - Yay for AF being on the way out and getting a birthday BD in :happydance: My OH is VERY impatient with AF and always thinks certain days are 'fine' to BD...but I have limits!! Lol. I guess I'm glad my OH doesn't care about it too much.


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## Pino6161

Lauren--- I am pissed off for you. That is BS!


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## Pino6161

So my period only lasted 2 days :shrug: It was not heavy either only like 2-3 tampons. It was really weird.

We are not doing much as OH has to work, but lets just say my sex drive is back full force :haha: OH is THRILLED! hehehe

I hope everyone has a nice relaxing weekend. I know I will :hugs:


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## Pino6161

My OH and I talked and he wants to not try this month and just go with the flow of stuff. I think this month we will ntnp just cause the stress of last month is fresh in our minds. He wants me to stop temping, but I think I am going to keep doing it and just not tell him. We are going to take it easy this month. Th stress of last month took a bit of a toll on our relationship, and we need to fix what we have before we go after what we don't if that makes sense.


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> My OH and I talked and he wants to not try this month and just go with the flow of stuff. I think this month we will ntnp just cause the stress of last month is fresh in our minds. He wants me to stop temping, but I think I am going to keep doing it and just not tell him. We are going to take it easy this month. Th stress of last month took a bit of a toll on our relationship, and we need to fix what we have before we go after what we don't if that makes sense.

Relaxing sounds just like the thing for you :)
Temping is going to keep you sane (as in not losing track of things).
I hope this relaxed approach this month, gets you your long wanted BFP :hugs:


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## Pino6161

Thanks hun! I will probably not be on here as much as well. I will just silently stock hehehe.


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## SashimiMimi

Oh no Pino!!! I don't want you to disappear from this thread !!!


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## Pino6161

I'm not going to disappear. That takes way to much will power LOL I am addicted. I am just going to take it easy on MY TTC and focus on everyone else's cycles and pregnancies LOL


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## haribo813

Argh, CD25 and I've got definite spotting, so expecting temps to be down by Monday. It's the usual deflated feeling, on to month 15 I guess.

Lauren sorry about your work, sounds very frustrating and Sashimi, hang in there. Pino I hope you have a nice relaxing month with OH.

My husband is away again this weekend, I'm really missing him but was nice to see my mum on her own today. It's a tricky situation-my sister apparently feels really guilty that she's expecting her 2nd so quickly while we're still struggling with our 1st but I would never expect anyone to put their life on hold and an 18 month gap between the two will be lovely. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't tough though.

xox


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## Pino6161

Haribo--- I know what you mean by it being tough, but we can't change reality or other peoples lives to make ours easy. I took it really hard when my brother who is 2 years younger got his wife pregnant on their first month trying. It still bothers me. I don't really have any advice but hang in there :hugs:


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## lauren26

Pino, I think a break might be just the thing :hugs: TTC is so stressful. But like Sashimi said, I hope you don't totally disappear! My and OH's NTNP time felt much needed and was a relief.


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## lauren26

haribo :hugs: My SIL felt the same way knowing that they were starting to try for #4 and we had none! But of course you don't expect anything from her. I'm glad you and your mom got some alone time. I can't stand when my OH is away!! I totally get it. If I were you I'd watch some chick flicks and eat vanilla ice cream :)


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## lauren26

Getting NERVOUS for my 8w scan on Tuesday!! I felt so confident about it at the 6w but now I'm starting to shake in my boots again...I hope that I'm not as panicked on Tuseday as I was two weeks ago before the scan! It just can't come soon enough. After that I don't know when my next one(s) will be, so I suppose I'll have to relax for a while.


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## haribo813

Lauren, hope Tuesday comes quickly and know it must we worrying when it is still early days. But is very exciting that you have an 8 week scan and I will keep my fingers crossed that it all goes well for you.

Sashimi, whens your next blood test? Hope you are relaxing as much as possible.

I'm off to work for a few hours this afternoon, have to go in :(
xxxx


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## SashimiMimi

Haribo yuck! Work on a Sunday afternoon? No thanks. I has my third blood test yesterday and the results were great! I spent all day worrying and it always feels like they take forever to call me. I go for a final beta blood test on Wednesday and then my first scan on Sept 24.

Lauren I know now how anxious all these early tests are but you always tell me to trust and have faith. So I'm telling you to do the same, your scan will go great and it's really only 4 more short weeks until trimester 1 is over!!

Pino I think when OH and I had a TTC break throughout June and July (when we went away on our trip) it was the best thing we could have done. We were on the tail end of 3 failed IUIs in a row, we were beyond devestated and we just needed to throw in the towel for a little while. Our entire BDing life had gone from timing it perfectly which is hard enough to timing it within the walls of a fertility clinic while in separate rooms. We were at our wits end and taking a break reminded us of the couple we used to be. We spent those two months BDing when we felt like it, not because it was time, I took a much needed break from fertility drugs, I ate and drank whatever I wanted and it was great. It took a long time to get over the heartbreak of those failures. I knew I was ready for IVF because I could think about those failures without having an emotional breakdown. So taking a break in my opinion is a great thing, but do not disappear from here!!! Also I'm sure that new doctor you mentioned will be able to provide some answers and you'll feel good about that.

Country I looked at your journal and I'm stealing the recipe for gender reveal cupcakes. What a fabulous idea! I'm still so excited that it's a boy and couldn't be any happier for you.
I'm probably going to have lots of early pregnancy questions for you!

Lxb how are you doing? MIL gone? I'm excited for you to start TTC again. Especially while having an empty house!!

Treasured how are you doing???

Sleepy how was your work trip? When is your next doctors appointment?

Afm, I'm still feeling like all of this is so surreal. The beta blood testing has been very hard. I don't have a lot of symptoms and the ones I do come and go, so I get worried. It's torture to wait all day to get results!! So I go back Wednesday for the final blood test as mentioned above.

Also, minor vent here... I've sworn that I would never be one of those people who foghorn (as I like to call it) on FB about BFP announcements or weekly bump pics, etc. When I got my BFP on Tuesday I cryptically wrote that I was over the moon as my status and only those who knew about my battle with infertility would get it. My BF has a friend named Candice that I have never really gotten along with but Candice has also battled infertility for 2 years. Time and time again I have asked my BF to have Candice reach out to me if she wanted someone to connect with who is going through the same thing. Well Candice figured out my FB status and she sulked to BF about it and said something like "well I guess sashimi is just lucky!!" BF explained said she didn't feel I was lucky and told her about the extent of my infertility, our low fertilization rate and basically all the emotional ups and downs of this whole thing. She urged Candice to call me as she will be doing IVF in December... Well Candice said no way and said she would never speak to me now knowing I am PG. 

It makes me sad. Not only because my status inadvertently upset someone else battling infertility the way every other PG person's BFP gloat upset me for 15 months. I still feel upset when I see pg women and I think it will take some time to get over the emotional scaring that infertility has caused. But I'm upset because hearing success stories of real people is what got me through IVF. I met someone who goes to my doctor at a IRL support group and she had a successful IVF. Also OH put me in touch with his coworker who also had a successful IVF. It was those women's stories who gave me the courage to think okay maybe this CAN work. Candice has hated me for 10 years for no reason and I'm sad she is choosing to suffer alone. 

Anyway, I hope this board doesn't disappear. I love this thread and I feel like you ladies are a lot closer than most of my IRL friends. Youre the only ones who really knows what this is like! 

I was thinking of starting my own PG journal but I honestly don't know how. I also can't figure out how to do the ticker thing in the signature. Any tutorials on this would be greatly appreciated!!! :) although I feel more relaxed after a good blood test yesterday I feel very vulnerable in these early days and feel I am now in a 12ww which is just as hard as the 2WW!! I feel like it would be more appropriate to write about all of that in a journal.


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## lauren26

Sashimi I am writing you right now on how to do the journal and links!


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## SashimiMimi

lauren26 said:


> Sashimi I am writing you right now on how to do the journal and links!

Yessssss!!


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## treasured

sashimi- I think you deffinately should start a PG journal! It is your time and you defnately deserve to write about it. I think by making a journal too you will be able to look back on your pregnancy with happyness, and it will help you to over-write all the bad times youve been through in the last year :) Im doing ok, had AF for 4 days now but it has been very light so thats good!

pino- I think I am following you down the NTNP path this month... I think we are in need of a break and very much deserve to get our normal lives back haha! Im going to continue temping because I really do love the control that it gives you, but Im not going to be pestering OH into BDing or bothering with OPKS! I think you and OH will really appreciate just being with each other without thinking about when what and how!! 

haribo- is spotting normal for you? it could be a good sign? I hope AF stays away and yu wont have to go onto the next cycle!! It is tough trying to deal with close family/friends pregnancies! I am lucky in a way to nnot have any siblings to get jealous of, but in a way that scares me more as my family would be devastated if I couldn't have children :(. Atleast you can enjoy another little one around the place and be an auntie again :) What gets to me is seeing people that really dont deserve it getting pregnant. My neighbours from over the road, one of which is 22 the other who is 18 are both pregnant, from a family of drug addicts and alcoholics that steal from the local shop and cause trouble everywhere! And I just think to myself... ok maybe im not 100% perfect with millions in the bank, but I am in a hell of a better place than them! woah, rant over hehe!

lauren- dont be worried! everything will be great :) sooner than you know it you will be finding out what flavour of bean you will be having hehe! I cant believe how quickly its flown by for country and preg. hope you are able to relax and not worry to much about your job! which I find redicullous btw! hope your doing well :)

how is everyone else!? lxb are you excited to restart TTC and become crazy with us again :yay:


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## lauren26

treasured - Are you an only child? I am too! I don't want just one for that reason, lol. But I think some people enjoyed being an only. Thank you for your support and encouragement. You ladies are amazing! You all have put up with incredible amounts of worry from me and I just don't know how to thank you! :hugs: Yes, work is ridiculous....but I feel so much differently than I ever have about the work disappointment. In the past I always felt like I wanted to run screaming from work when something this confusing happened, but now I feel calm and more practical--like it's just not practical for me to work for a small business forever that doesn't know how to treat a valued employee! If I may say so ;) Also, I could go corporate and get a degree paid for and then get promoted! I think being pregnant has allowed me to detach from my emotional involvement with work and just see it for what it is--a nice place to work but not somewhere I can stay long term if they're inconsistent and won't invest back in me what I've invested in them. It feels good! Feels like I've reached some new level of adulthood. Anyway! That was a ramble. I think it's great that you are NTNP too this month. It's great to get a break sometimes and take the pressure off! Fall is my favorite time of year--best to be enjoyed ;) I have been meaning to ask if they have pumpkin beer in the UK where you live. It's one of my favorite parts of fall and of course I will not indulge this year. 

haribo - What's the status today? I wondered the same as treasured--is the spotting normal for you?


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## Pino6161

ME and OH had a very hard, long night last night. We got into a big fight. I don't even remember what started it :shrug: I don't know how to explain it but for the last 6 months or so there has been a "fog" in the air.Some kind of tension between us. My OH is usually very tight lipped when it comes to everything, and I just think we are overwhelmed. Between TTC, the impending move, our immigration appointment next month and so much more it is putting a visible strain on our relationship. We talked until about 1:00AM and I think that after 2 years of TTC we are going to go to NTNP until after the move. I know it is going to be a hard transition but I really don't think we have a choice. 

We have so much stuff that we need to do and when we are both stressed about TTC, or it eats me alive every day all day it can not be healthy. I am going to put all my energy into losing weight and getting mentally and physically healthy and work on me and my OH's relationship.

I know I talked about taking a break for a month, but I think I need more time. Figure out what we are doing, and where we are going. It doesn't change the fact that I want a child more than anything in the world but TTC has turned me bitter towards everyone as it has been my main focus for over 2 years.

I am going to stay a part of BnB and all of my crazy ladies as you guys have gotten me through the hardest part of my journey which was last cycle.

I think I am going to put my journal behind me everything that has happened behind me. I want to start new. I want to bring a baby into our new life in Oklahoma where we are starting fresh. My OH will finally be legal here in the US, he will have a great job with insurance. I THINK I might go back to school, but I don't know yet. It comes down to where we are right now is not an ideal place to raise a child.

I think we will resume our TTC journey on April 9, 2013. That will be our 6 year anniversary of our relationship.


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## Pino6161

Here is my new journal, my fresh start. Please stalk :dance:

:hugs:

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/ttc-journals/1185429-pino6161s-journey-ttc-ntnp.html#post21324749


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## lauren26

There's nothing like a clean slate, Pino! :hugs: I am behind you 100% with taking a much needed break to have time for YOU and for your marriage and your health. Like you said, there is a ton going on and you have to make sure you're taking care of the rest of your life, too. You are a wise woman!


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## Pino6161

Thanks hun! But I will NOT be leaving you crazy ladies LOL


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## haribo813

Ah Pino, you've made a really tough decision there and what I think sounds like a really sensible one. Taking time for you and OH is the most important thing. Plus going back to school sounds interesting and worthwhile. I think we are all at times guilty of putting too much pressure on ourselves and thinking about getting pregnant at any cost and you're right, it's not healthy. So well done you in taking such a big step and I hope it means you and OH's relationship gets even better and you feel even stronger in yourself. And roll on April 2013!

Sashimi I'm sorry that Candice is acting like that and you're right, it's a shame but there's sadly nothing you can do about it. It is mean of her to say she thinks you're just lucky, as while your recent news is brilliant, no one could say you have exactly fallen on your feet throughout this whole process-you've got where you have from lots of grit, perserverance and staying emotionally strong even if you don't always feel like that.

Treasured, hope AF is on her way out. I'm thinking about NTNP for a while as I feel quite drained. I am definitely out this month-my temps were down again today on CD26 and had more bleeding so really short cycle for me. I was surprised as this month I've had so many good symptoms-lots of CM, feeling very tired, higher temps than usual and just feeling like this was the month. But it clearly wasn't meant to be. I've had a long, very teary and snotty nosed chat with OH tonight. We're going to see what this appt says on Thu and seek more tests if they think they'd help, meanwhile we'll try chinese herbs in conjunction with acupuncture and if nothing has happened in few months, we'll think about IVF in Dec or Jan. I feel a bit better after our chat but I'm generally quite sad at the moment, I'm not sure how to make it pass.

xxxxxxxx


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## Pino6161

On a random note I am quite ticked off. Me and OH have not had sex in about a week cause my sex drive was gone, then AF showed, then we got in that big fight. So tonight, even though he was sick :blush: we had sex. It was great don't get me wrong, but it seems like AF came back. :shrug: it's not old blood either. It is bright red and I am now cramping. It is here for 2 days a TINY bit of spotting, and then full force again at 8:30 at night. This is BS. RANT OVER (kinda)


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## treasured

Lauren- Yeah Im an only! I think thats one of the reasons I want to be a parent so much, just because I have seen how happy my mum and dad are haha! Darling child. I actually had a little sister that we lost the day after she was born, It was a really tough time for my family and ever since then my mum has never been able to maintain another pregnancy, so I think she has shifted the wanting on to me lol! Thats why I really hope I dont struggle for too much longer I would hate for her to find out I wasnt able to conceive. Woah... bit deep! Im so glad that you have clarity on your work situation and dont let it take over your pregnancy :) This is a time for you to enjoy and not be stressed hehe! We dont have pumpkin beer but I would love to try it ! I wonder if I could find it anywhere!

haribo- so sorry for this month :( I am glad you are going to the appointment to get things started and hopefully you wont need to go to any other methods! It is probably just somthing simple that can be sorted :) I havent even cried this month, its strange. But my OH never gets upset about anything to do with TTC so theres not really much point in bubbling at him haha! hope you get some information and try to relax while NTNP! I think a few of us are in major need of the break :) 

pino- so sorry you are going through this rough patch! but I totally think this is a good decision for you because you and OH need to stay strong together through this process and that is the most important thing! A clean slate is a great idea, I am thinking that way too a bit. I feel all the months before I started temping were a waste and I clearly wasnt BDing on the right days and not timing ovulation correctly so Im really glad I started temping :) You better not leave us on here thats for sure :)


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## lxb

pino - i definitely stand by temping (if only it keeps you sane! not knowing just gives me even more stress!) hmm... your 'af' sounds weird. is it really af?

haribo - :growlmad: for spotting! how's your temp looking today? yeah, it's definitely hard to see people around you getting pregnant so quickly. ~3 months after DH & I started ttc... my sis discussed with bil and decided they would start too. And she fell pregnant with her #2 in the 3rd/4th cycle, while I got my bfp 5 weeks after hers (unfortunately, mine ended up in mc). I can't avoid her as she's my sister. And it's still a mixed emotion whenever I see her bump. I just chuckled everytime she tells me about her pregnancy discomforts/anything related. but it's life. just need to learn to live with it.

sashimi - sorry to hear about Candice. you would think she would want to be able to talk you and to relate/connect with you. sometimes people just think what they want to think. dont let her affect you as you don't need her~ I do think you're lucky! :) You're lucky to be able to afford the procedure, have a wonderful husband and family for support, the understanding HR, US ! (the crazy ladies!) :thumbup:, and little bean(s) growing inside of you! :hugs:

treasured - so sorry to hear about the loss of your sis. you are able to conceive~ I believe it will happen for you! :haha: and YES!! I'm ready to start ttc again!! hopefully my body is ready! Crazy pre-o... tww... staring at chart... symptom spottings... HERE I COME! :rofl: 

lauren - appt tomorrow??? Happy last day of blueberry~~~~ Mm.. Raspberry! :dance:

afm, MIL gone...AF gone. What a great day!! (other than the fact that it's monday! :haha:)


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## lauren26

treasured, I am so sorry to hear about your sister!! That must have been very, very hard on your family :hugs: Thank goodness your mom has you :) I understand not wanting to tell her what's going on. That is sweet of you. Yes, I definitely have always wanted more than one because I did not enjoy being an only. My mom wanted more and dad didn't! My mom still feels sad about this.

lxb, :happydance: NO AF NO MIL!! I am starting to feel more excited about the scan. I have to trust all is well unless I find out it's not! That's all there is to it :) And I think all is well. I am sure it is hard seeing your sis, and you have such a generous and loving attitude about everything! You are a super duper lady :hugs: That rainbow baby is just itching to show up--I can feel it! 

Don't know if I posted this, but my OH's long time best friend lost his mom about five days ago...then two and half days later his wife gave birth to their first child!! I have been thinking about them a lot because I can't even imagine how emotionally confusing and ecstatic/devastating this time must be for them. Makes me feel so, so grateful for everyone I have in my life.


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## Pino6161

lxb--- My period is REALLY weird. I had 2 days of really light flow. A TINY spot Saturday, and yesterday turned out just to be spotting as well even though it was bright red. I'm not sure what to think, and there is no real reason for my period to bonkers. I don't know what else it could be :shrug: IDK if I want to keep temping or not. I would like to know, but it kin of defeats the purpose of not trying LOL. IDK this cycle os so confusing :shrug:. So excited to get to stalk your chart again LOL. 

Lauren--- your friend must be all over the place. Something similar happened to a friend of mine except after TTC for about 2 years her Mom passed away, and they got their BFP. They took it as her mom's last blessing.


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## lxb

lauren - thanks lauren~ :hugs: all IS well~ It's funny how I thought .. "okay. if I get bfp this month, that means I would due in June! ... but wait.. we're suppose to go to NY/NJ in June time! Oh no.. what should we do?" :haha: then I :dohh: for getting ahead of myself! so sorry to hear about your OH's best friend's loss. it's just a classic example of life, where one life ends while other begins.

pino - i wanted to click on your chart but realized it's gone!!! AHHhh... this is not helping my chart stalking addiction! :rofl:


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## lauren26

Pino - That is a wonderful way to look at a loss like that!! When OH lost his grandmother he said, 'Should we invite her to be our kid in her next life?' I thought uhhhmmmm that sounds a little odd! Lol. Wacky AF sounds frustrating! Boo to that.

lxb - I think it's totally natural to get ahead of things! I think it's great that you're excited about your rainbow and that you and OH are dreaming and planning about the future --you'll be glad you did when that rainbow shows! :hugs:


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## Pino6161

OMG:happydance:OMG:happydance:

I just got a call from our lawyer and my OH's work permit is her :dance: I keep trying to call my OH but he doesn't answer his damn phone!!! What is the point of having a phone GOSH :haha:


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## lauren26

Woohooo!! Congrats!!!


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## countrygirl86

lauren - Wow. Your work sucks! I was fully expecting you to be appreciated for the way you swooped in and saved the place, how disappointing. Sounds like pregnancy is changing how we view the world, so true about it just being a workplace! Your real job starts in April! I'm excited for your 8w scan tomorrow, hoping you get pics!

Pino - I totally went to click on your chart too and it's gone! Devastating! NTNP sounds like a well needed break, no matter how long you decide to do it for. Great news about DH's work permit :)

preg_pilot - I love the banana! Happy Banana!

haribo - So sorry to hear about damned AF, love. Glad you got to spend some quality time with your mom, I think we all need that sometimes. It sure doesn't feel like there's any logic to who gets the BFPs and when. 

Sashimi - great to hear your blood tests are all going well! I have total faith in the one Wednesday. You can have the recipe but we'll all need pics! Fire away all the questions you like. Sounds like we had similar starts in that I didn't have many symptoms at first either (no nausea or the like) and hopefully you stay that way! Such a shame about that friend of a friend, choosing to isolate herself. There isn't much you can do at this point, just focus on the supportive people in your life (us!) :hugs: I'm anxiously awaiting your pg journal and tickers! It is a huge milestone to 12w, then 20w, then 24w, and so on lol

treasured - hope you enjoy your relaxed cycle and it brings you the rest/BFP you deserve! It makes sense your mom would want to kinda live through you for more kids, I have complete faith you'll have all the kids you want :hugs: So she doesn't know you are ttc?

lxb - WOOHOO af is gone! Back to BDing like it's no ones business lol Have you done anything you wouldn't have done with MIL there? Walk around the house naked or put bugs in her bed? lol

We are leaving on our babymoon on Thursday! I'll think of you Sleepy when I fly over!


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## SleepyOwl

Yes think of me Country!!! Enjoy your babymoon - so fun!!

Pino - So glad that OH's work permit is here!! Did OH ever answer that phone? Men I swear!!!

Lauren - I'm sorry that work was so terrible in regards to the cost of living increase. That is so frustrating, especially since you are probably doing such a great job!! But you are right - it's just work! Such a small part of your life, and you have such a big part of your life that you are just getting started on. What time is your appointment tomorrow?? 

Sashimi - Yay for your blood tests going well!! I am so happy things are going smoothly for you. A few days after you got your BFP, I had a dream that I got mine. I think you finally getting that BFP helped me to finally believe deep down that it's going to happen for me too! 

Lxb - Enjoy this time!!!!! Hopefully MIL extends her trip [-o&lt; I'm with Country - bugs in her bed. Lol! 

Haribo - Did AF show or did it end up just being spotting?

I've really been having trouble keeping up with BnB this past week! I'm doing my best, but I've felt very overwhelmed. I'm 14DPO (I think - had to input my ovulation day myself). No spotting (yet) and boobs are still sore. But I've definitely had a 17 day LP before, so I'm not going to rely on a shorter LP. Do you guys mind taking a peek at my chart to tell me if you think that I O'd when I think I did?


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## lauren26

Sleepy - My appointment is at 8 am! Are you back from your trip now? I def think you Oed when your chart says--did FF not give you cross hairs?? Seems like such a clear rise! It's almost your birthday!!! :happydance: I hope that dream turns into your RL birthday gift. 

Country - Thanks!! You ladies are great :) Your babymoon is so soon!! I am sure you're super excited!

Afm, I ate food today!! Lol. It was the first day I was starving all day, just like before I was pregnant :haha: It was a relief to be able to eat a bunch of snacks. And Monday's over! Lol.


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## Pino6161

It is 12:30AM here and I am balling my eyes out. I just finished "Mockingjay" The final book in the hunger games trilogy. It's absolutely horrible and sad. I love reading, and once I start a book I can not put it down.I was an idiot and didn't start reading until 8:00PM. So OH is passed out with a fever, and I am a blubbering mess. :cry: Now I have to try to sleep with all the images of that book in my head. Wish me luck


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## lauren26

Had my scan and saw our tiny panda!! Measuring almost 1" and apparently ahead of schedule. We saw a tiny heart and brain and hands and feet!!! It looked so much different than two weeks ago, when we just saw a flickering dot. I am so happy and relieved that all is well :cloud9: I will post pics in my journal when I get home.


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## Pino6161

I am so happy it went so well!! :hugs:


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## lxb

country - babymoon in almost here!!!

pino - did you sleep ok?? :haha: AHh!! my dh is passed out with a fever too!!! hopefully they'll feel better soon!

lauren - I posted this in your journal already.. but I'm all happy again when I read it again!! https://www.emoticonswallpapers.com/emotion/panda/panda-smiley-031.gif https://www.emoticonswallpapers.com/emotion/panda/panda-smiley-018.gif

sleepy - love that your temp is up~ :dance:


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## lauren26

lxb I'm dying! I don't know why those are so funny!! :rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## lauren26

The one on the left looks like he is wiping his nose repeatedly.


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## lxb

lauren26 said:


> The one on the left looks like he is wiping his nose repeatedly.

:rofl: it does!! :rofl: 

I find this one funny/gross!! https://www.laymark.com/l/cz/cz45.gif ... :wacko: :haha:


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## Pino6161

:haha:you guys know how to put a smile on my face :haha:

I slept ok. My OH's fever went away after 3 days, so lets hope it stays away. It's hard to sleep when I feel like I am in an oven next to him. :shrug: 

Now I am disinfecting the house hoping I don't get sick :wacko:


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## lauren26

Three day fever! Ugh that sounds so awful! :( Poor Pino OH!! I am sure you were sweet to him. It is very hard to sleep next to a hot man :haha:


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## Pino6161

:haha: I absolutely hate it when he is sick! Is is such a needy person when he is sick LOL. It really was horrible though cause he had to work anyways.


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## treasured

Lauren yayyyy so exciting! I love wee panda :))) x


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## haribo813

Great news Lauren! And pleased about work permit Pino. Enjoy babymoon Country.

And yes I definitely have my period :(
xxx


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## Pino6161

:hugs: Haribo :hugs: Sorry about AF :hugs:


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## lxb

haribo - damn af!! https://www.emoticonswallpapers.com/emotion/super-cute-onion/super-onion-smiley-097.gif

lauren - lol @ sleeping next to a hot man! 
pino.. my dh does feel like an oven when we cuddled last night! https://www.emoticonswallpapers.com/emotion/super-cute-onion/super-onion-smiley-090.gif


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## lauren26

haribo - NO! :growlmad: That's what I say to that!!! I'm sorry :hugs:

Pino - Men are so helpless when they are sick!! It's kind of sweet and kind of irritating...:haha:

lxb - LOL you just keep them coming! The little steaming bun (?) is so cute!

treasured - Thank you!!! :hugs:


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## Pino6161

seriously I am loving these emoticons!

OH is so helpless when he is sick, and I love taking care of him, but I really am happy he is better!! I can FINALLY have a good BD :haha: I know I am totally selfish :blush:


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## SleepyOwl

Haribo - Sorry about AF dear. Hope you are feeling alright!


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## Pino6161

So as you all know I have been making a blanket for my niece. Well so far so good. Let's hope I finish it before I leave for Christmas :haha:
 



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## haribo813

Happy happy birthday Sleepy! (please tell me i've got it right this time!) xxxxx


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## lauren26

Happy Birthday Sleepy!!! :happydance:


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## SleepyOwl

Haha you got it right Haribo! Thank you both for the birthday wishes!!!


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## lxb

Happy Birthday Sleepy~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :happydance:

LOVE your temp!! 98.5!


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## SleepyOwl

Thanks girl! I have to admit I'm pretty excited that I haven't spotted. Unless I don't get a BFP - then I'll just be irritated that AF is taking her sweet time!


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## countrygirl86

Happy Birthday Sleepy! :hugs::cake::kiss::flasher: Any special plans for tonight, maybe testing? lol

haribo - :hugs: might as well enjoy the few good things that come from the witch: wine, fatty foods and more chances to BD!

Pino - glad you guys can BD again! I'm guessing it's very hard on you when you have a break lol I seriously love that blanket! How old is your niece? I've been working on a knitted scarf for my mom for 6+ years lol I just keep setting it down! I WILL have it done for this Christmas though!

lxb - I love those emoticons! I think the one looks like a pig wrapped up in a blanket lol

Sashimi - how'd the bloodwork go today?


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## Pino6161

Happy Birthday Sleepy!!! :dance: :happydance: :cake: And no AF to top it off!! :hugs: Have a great day!!

Country-- My niece is a little over a year old. I want to make one for all my nieces and nephews. My great Aunt made one for all her nieces, and my great grandmother made me and my brother one right before she passed away, so I am trying to keep the tradition alive starting with my OH's side of kids. My brother doesn't talk to me at all so I'm not making one for his daughter yet. (He didn't even told me when Tara went into labor, I found out from my mom)


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## treasured

yayyy! happy birthday sleepy! So glad AF is not showing her face today :) WHY are you keeping us all on the edge of our seats haha! test soooon please :) x


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## lauren26

treasured you said what I've been thinking all day ;) Sleepy :test::test::test:


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## lauren26

PS Happy Birthday still.... :happydance:


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## treasured

I need to knowww hehe! I have major hope and excitement for you Sleepy your temps look GREAT! 

Sooo.... Ive decided to start a weightloss journal for myself on here :) Im not on an extreme diet or anything I just wanna get a little healthier and I have been shocked that I have gone up by 10lbs in the last few months... I am really bad at sticking to things so I think a journal might help me along a little! I cant remember how to put it in my signature and its too late for my brain to process but if anyone would like to stalk/motivate that would be great. Ill also be posting some recipes and would love any suggestions from you gals :) I wanna make sure my body is in prime condition for when my bubs decides to appear! The link is: https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/dieting-journals/1192021-shaping-up-before-bub.html 

Also does anyone know how to put pictures directly onto the page instead of having to click on a small image first? 

Big hugs to all <3


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## lxb

treasured - ah~ I need to start a diet journal as well!! Think I've gained 10lbs++ since last year and been feeling giggly for the past few weeks as well~! :dohh:

as for posting picture directly.. if you have the link to your picture (your picture is on the web), you can do this (remove the *** in front of 'img'):

[*****IMG]https://www.yourPictureLink.jpg[/IMG]


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## Pino6161

Hey everyone!! I have been slacking on my diet BIG time as well. I just joined MyFitnessPal. You guys should totally join as well! This way we can be pals too :haha: I just found out I went over 190 calories :cry: :haha:


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## Pino6161

And started a weightloss journal as well! It's time to get my mind off of TTC so that I am really NTNP :haha:

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/d...ino6161s-weightloss-journal.html#post21427733


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## treasured

Woohoo pino!! Weightloss buddies :) I have myfitnessplan! What is your user name? I was 500 calories under yesterday.... :S I burned off like 260 but god knows how... its rediculous how many calories are in some things without it being noticeable! You should just go for chicken and salad! So small! x


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## SleepyOwl

Thanks for all the birthday wishes ladies! OH surprised me last night with my family coming over for dinner which was so nice. I love having my niece around - she is so affectionate right now and loves giving kisses and hugs. Because of that I couldn't test last night because I know my sister would know lol. 

I did finally test and I did finally get my BFP :) I am so happy and relieved and overwhelmed right now. Glad I have my doctor's appointment in an hour so I can figure out what the next steps are. Thanks for pushing me to test ladies - I was so scared!!


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## countrygirl86

WOOHOOO Sleepy! Congrats! I'm so happy for you :) Lots of good news lately on this thread! Let us know how it goes at the doctor! YOU ARE PREGNANT!!!!


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## lxb

:wohoo: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance:

:rain: sleepy!!!!!!!!

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## lauren26

:happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:
:happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::loopy:
:loopy::loopy::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::rain::rain::rain:

CONGRATS Sleepy!!! I am on :cloud9: for you.


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## ButterflyTTC

_Hello SashimiMimi,
I am 39 yrs old and I have been trying to conceive for #3 with my new boyfriend and it has been difficult. I am into month #4 and waiting on AF to arrive anyday. It is so dissapointing each and every month. I keep hoping each month is "the month" and turns out it isnt. I am regular with my cycles and I am every 34 days for the most part and 15 day luteal phase. I am currently on what i think is 14 dpo and tested this morning with a BFN~~boo! I feel like AF is going to arrive any minute with all the bloating and gas I have going on like my normal right before AF arrives. I am gonna see if AF arrives tomorrow if not i may test again on Saturday but Baby Dust to you all!!!_


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## ButterflyTTC

Congrats Sleepy!!!!


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## Pino6161

CONGRATULATIONS SLEEPY!!!!!!! :happydance::hugs::flow::bfp::yipee::headspin::tease::wohoo::loopy::rain::holly::happydance::hugs::flow::bfp::yipee::headspin::tease::wohoo::loopy::rain::holly::happydance::hugs::flow::bfp::yipee::headspin::tease::wohoo::loopy::rain::holly::happydance::hugs::flow::bfp::yipee::headspin::tease::wohoo::loopy::rain::holly::happydance::hugs::flow::bfp::yipee::headspin::tease::wohoo::loopy::rain::holly:​


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- My username is SaundraPino. Yesterday I went over cause I had pizza :blush: :haha: I LOVE tuna salad. It is usually my weekly lunch :blush:.


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## Pino6161

ButterflyTTC--- Welcome!!


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## lxb

welcome butterfly~! perhaps your bfp is just a bit shy and will show up tmr~ :thumbup:


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## SashimiMimi

Whoah!!! I just checked the board for the first time all day!! Woo hoo Sleepy!!! Xoxoxox so happy for you!

As for me I've done all 4 beta blood tests and the results were great. My first ultrasound is Monday!!! I'm starting to feel like my pregnancy is real and I'm more excited than nervous. I'm just trying to figure out whether or not I should dye my hair in the first trimester... Roots are getting bad and I don't think I can hold off until December!! :)

I will start my pregnancy journal this weekend when I have more time. :)


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## Pino6161

Sash-- I am so happy that your tests came out great! I am sure you will be ok if you do it in the 1st trimester. If I ever to get pregnant I guess I am not allowed to get my hair cut or dyed cause of some mexican superstition :haha: Before I had my last MC my OH had such a fit when I bought my hair dye :haha:


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## haribo813

Sleepy! A birthday BFP, it doesn't get much better than that! Am so happy for you both, that's amazing news!

Sashimi, fantastic news about all our blood tests and exciting for 1st ultrasound.

Butterfly, welcome! Sorry you got your period but hoping that next month is the month for you.

As for me, I saw the specialist today and whereas most people have 15 follicles per month altogether, I have 15 in each ovary which apparently means I have polycystic ovaries. But I don't have polycystic ovarian syndrome as I don't have any of the symptoms-I have regular cycles and don't get spots or hair in weird places. All my blood tests were fine but my FSH was slightly high which is a bit weird as I have so many follicles (you'd expect it to be low). Dr was happy. OH's tests were all better than average. He recommends we keep trying. If we want free IVF we need to wait another year or we can go ahead whenever with it if we want to pay £5000. I think we'll keep trying for a while, I'll do TCM with that special lady and will have a HSG test done in case it's the tubes. If anyone knows anything about this condition when you don't have the syndrome, that would be great. Thanks a lot. 
xxx


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## SashimiMimi

Haribo that's really interesting what the doctor uncovered. Did he recommend taking any type of medications or even trying IUI? The HSG while uncomfortable is a good test and our doctor said it boosts fertility by 5% for 3 months after because it clears everything out. I'm going to spend all day googling what the doctor told you tomorrow and I see my acupuncturist this Saturday and I'll ask her if she has heard of this. It's tough when they uncover something and it only leads to more questions but it sounds like you are in good hands and on the right track. It's amazing that the UK covers the cost of IVF. It's so expensive here!! 

I've felt a little apprehensive this evening. I'm nervous for my first scan on monday. I facetimed with my brother today and he said I looked miserable. I said I was anxious and always tired. He warned me to relax and enjoy this as they struggled for 3 years to get PG with my niece and probably didn't enjoy their first pregnancy as much as they could have.

Well it seems like things are shifting in here which is great! Haribo is getting answers from her doctor, Lxb is winding up for TTC, Pino and Treasured and taking some time to relax, NTNP and focus on health and well-being, country is having a boy and off on a babymoon and we finally have some BFPs rolling in. First Lauren, then me and now the ultimate 30th birthday surprise for sleepy!!!! 

Ladies I really feel a shift in this thread and feel the good luck and baby dust are all around us. The fall always feels like the real new year to me because it was always when school started and it must always feels like the beginning of something new. So I think this is going to be a great year ahead for all of us!


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## lxb

haribo - it seems like you've got some great answers~ sorry I dont know much about syndrome so can't be much of a help there. wow... agree with sashimi! it's amazing uk covers ivf cost!! how are you feeling today? is af still around?

sashimi - great news on your blood work!! it definitely seems like things are shifting here!! pretty soon this thread will be filled with all crazy preggo ladies! :thumbup: monday seems like a long time away huh~~ anything plan for the weekend to keep you occupy? :)

sleepy - :wave: newly preggo crazy lady~!! how are you feeling today??

treasured & pino - how are exercising going?? I woke up 10 min early to do some situps and squads! Man.. I am SOOO out of shape!! I'm having hard time doing 10 reps! I'm so doomed!!

lauren - how's your little panda doing?

preg - almost time for another bump pic~ :thumbup:

country - you're on your babymoon!! I miss you already!!!

afm, forgot to bring my opk to work this morning! a bit irritated but it's okay~~ I'm going to jump on dh regardless! :rofl: Hmm... have some random pain on bbs and stomach. Pre-O symptoms? :thumbup:

OT: Feeling good as I put on some bright nail polish! [ulta -- fuchsiamania! link] and curled my hair this morning to go to work!


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## Pino6161

I just totally looked up my foods when me and OH go out to eat. Talk about HORRIBLE. We LOVE taco bell and it is over 2000 calories for what I normally get :cry: well there won't be any eating out :haha:


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## lauren26

Taco Bell is a big caloric offender!! I was shocked too. Same with Qdoba and Chipotle etc. I think the average calorie count for a meal out with app, dinner, dessert is 5,000 calories.


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## treasured

ohhhhh pino I swear if I lived in the states I would be a thousand stone by now... You guys have such nicer/unhealthier :lol: foods than us here ! I am jealous but kinda glad or I would be massive! I loved taco bell when I visited Texas, and also a place called chik fillet? SO GOOD. and also dairy queen chicken with a white gravy... hmmmm must diet :(


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## treasured

sleeepy- congrats again :D so exciting! :) :hugs:

pino- commented on your journal but hope your doing good! im gonna add you on fitnesspal tonight! 

lxb- thank you for your tech advice again haha you are so clever when it comes to B&B computer stuff :) its always so hard to start excersizing after you havent for a while but im sure you will be doing 100s in no time :D do you know if you are going to ovulate soon? your chart is looking nice and stable :)

sashimi- thanks for the encouragement girl! cant wait for your scan either it will come sooner than you realise :) you totally deserve this so be happy :D 

haribo- im sorry I dont have much knowledge about that condition and maybe I'm being stupid but are more folicles not better? or is it like over active? did your doctor say anything about it being harder to conceive with that problem? like statistic wise or anything? 

lauren- how are you girlll? hope your not feeling too nervous about the future scan im sure it will all be fine and you need to just concentrate on you and OHs time together before theres a little one stealing all your time :D ;) 

country- you are so far along now! have you uploaded a bump pic yet (I am going to stalk your journal now but you better get one up ;) :D ) 

preg- how are things? kicked the MS yet ? :) 

how is everyone else if I have missed? xxxx


----------



## Pino6161

I just did a load of research on acne cause I have tried EVERYTHING. Well my goal as of today is no dairy. I know when I drink milk it really upsets my stomach, but I absolutely LOVE cheese. Well no more for me. It should also help with my heartburn, so we will see :shrug: I want to try it for 30 days. Dairy free. Wish me luck!!


----------



## SashimiMimi

Lxb I plan on doing nothing this weekend! I have acupuncture tomorrow at 11 and then I'm getting a Brazilian at 1! After that I plan on vegging until Sunday night. I'm still a bit nervous for the scan on Monday. I'd really like to break out of this fear and start enjoying the pregnancy I worked so hard for. I will start my journal this weekend which I hope you all stalk! Maybe a journal will help me feel like this is all real!!

Pino I don't think I've ever eaten at a taco bell although we do have them in Canada. Another thing I've never had is burger king! I've never had a whopper! I'm a little worried about my own eating habits right now. I have weird cravings and all I want to eat are lemons, really sour olives or pasta with cheese. I planned on cooking a stir fry with pork tenderloin and broccoli tonight and it's making me want to gag! I got a poutine for lunch (fries with cheese and gravy) because I just want comfort food. But i know now is the time in my life that healthy eating is so important!!

I want to know where country went in her babymoon!! I informed OH of the babymoon concept and he seemed fascinated! He had no idea that people took banymoons so we are planning to possibly go to New York or maybe the south in march. I don't know if that will be too late for me to travel but we are pretty much snowed in here in Toronto from December until the end of February and traveling is not easy during winter!!


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## Pino6161

Sash--- Your not missing out on Burger King :sick: I don't like it at all!! I love the idea of a babymoon. Your last outing with just 2. As for craving maybe give a little, or find a middle for your cravings :shrug: IDK


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## lauren26

Can't wait until I'm home so I can write to you ladies one more hour of work......ugh! At least it's Friday :happydance:


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## lxb

pino - :haha: I had just a Beef Supreme Gorditas from taco bell on Wednesday! And shared a Nacho supreme with my sis! :haha: Mm... I like their cinnamon twist too~~

sashimi - looking forward to stalk your journal~!! first scan is always nerve wrecking~ once you see the little heart beat(s), you will feel more relax about it. :thumbup: Definitely do babymoon!! Oo.. NY! have you been there? dh & i might go to New York in June time~~ as to sour-food craving. like pino said.. give a little as long as it's not the ONLY food you eat~ :haha: my sis kept munching on the dried sour plum during her first tri! (I'm drooling right now just thinking about it~ :shy:)

lauren - Happy Friday~~~ :happydance:


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## lauren26

Sashimi - We will all stalk!! The nurse at my doctor's office said you're in survival mode in 1st tri so while it's of course ideal to eat really healthy that most women live off of mac n cheese or mashed potatoes during their first twelve weeks. I haven't been able to eat healthy much at all! I can do salads and fruit occasionally but can't spend any time in the kitchen without feeling sick so I have been doing cereal and clif bars and apples and yogurt. I think country went to Orlando! But she didn't know what the plans were. Poutine sounds soo yummy!! Brazilian sounds sooo painful! Lol. Burger King is the worst, you are def not missing out.

lxb - I hope you O soon!! Looking like you will ;) 

Pino - GL with dairy free! I bet it will change how you feel quite a bit. 

treasured - My next scan will probably not be until 20 weeks! So I am content and not worried atm :) My 8w was on Tuesday and I felt a million times better after that. 

Afm - LONG week!! I am glad to be done. Next week is a big one at work, then OH and I move over the weekend, and then my workplace moves the following week :wacko: Yayyy weekend!


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## SashimiMimi

Dried sour plums! Lxb I had to google what they are and now I want!! Wikipedia says they are super salty and nothing sounds more appealing to me right now!! In will not rest until I figure out who sells them in Toronto!!


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## lxb

SashimiMimi said:


> Dried sour plums! Lxb I had to google what they are and now I want!! Wikipedia says they are super salty and nothing sounds more appealing to me right now!! In will not rest until I figure out who sells them in Toronto!!

they have different 'flavor' too. some are salty, some soury, some sweet! Some had their seeds removed too! (which i LOVE! because I don't want to deal with that seed!) 
https://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l9fmgl6WpZ1qznyy8.jpg

Do you have any Asian Market near by? They usually have those~ :thumbup:

lauren - Ahh~~ yay for moving to a new place~!! I hate moving! :dohh: good thing is we moved from an apt to a house and we barely had any furniture (and that was already a pain~)! I can't imagine moving from house to house now as my junks are piling up! :haha: remember! Not to lift anything heavy!!


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## SashimiMimi

Yummmm!! We hav Asian markers everywhere. A huge Chinatown, Korean grocery stores, you name it. Toronto is known as the "melting pot" because of its diverse ethnicities and there is definitely a large Asian population. Hopefully I can find them. What section I the grocery store are they normally in?


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## lxb

Hmm... Not sure how the Asian market is like over there. But I went to this Chinese marketplace and they have this section where they have all the dried/pickled fruits in bit containers and they let you try it before you buy it. Not sure if it is popular in Korea market or not (probably not). But in markets where they don't have the buckets section, it is typically in the snack or candy aisle. But the thing about that is you can't really try it first to see if you like them or not~. I would imagine Chinatown would be ideal for things like this :thumbup: 

Big containers like this --> link. Maybe you can tell them you are expecting and see what they recommend? :thumbup:


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## lauren26

Those look delicious, lxb, and I love the pic of the bins! Looks like you will O soon :happydance:


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## preg_pilot

treasured said:


> sleeepy- congrats again :D so exciting! :) :hugs:
> 
> pino- commented on your journal but hope your doing good! im gonna add you on fitnesspal tonight!
> 
> lxb- thank you for your tech advice again haha you are so clever when it comes to B&B computer stuff :) its always so hard to start excersizing after you havent for a while but im sure you will be doing 100s in no time :D do you know if you are going to ovulate soon? your chart is looking nice and stable :)
> 
> sashimi- thanks for the encouragement girl! cant wait for your scan either it will come sooner than you realise :) you totally deserve this so be happy :D
> 
> haribo- im sorry I dont have much knowledge about that condition and maybe I'm being stupid but are more folicles not better? or is it like over active? did your doctor say anything about it being harder to conceive with that problem? like statistic wise or anything?
> 
> lauren- how are you girlll? hope your not feeling too nervous about the future scan im sure it will all be fine and you need to just concentrate on you and OHs time together before theres a little one stealing all your time :D ;)
> 
> country- you are so far along now! have you uploaded a bump pic yet (I am going to stalk your journal now but you better get one up ;) :D )
> 
> preg- how are things? kicked the MS yet ? :)
> 
> how is everyone else if I have missed? xxxx

Almost. I get queasy very occasionally these days, and haven´t hurled in several days. Seems to be mostly gone :)
I can also eat healthy foods these days. I´ve completely kicked white wheat. I only eat whole wheat and spelt these days (and whole wheat only very occasionally). Feel so much better.



SashimiMimi said:


> Lxb I plan on doing nothing this weekend! I have acupuncture tomorrow at 11 and then I'm getting a Brazilian at 1! After that I plan on vegging until Sunday night. I'm still a bit nervous for the scan on Monday. I'd really like to break out of this fear and start enjoying the pregnancy I worked so hard for. I will start my journal this weekend which I hope you all stalk! Maybe a journal will help me feel like this is all real!!
> 
> Pino I don't think I've ever eaten at a taco bell although we do have them in Canada. Another thing I've never had is burger king! I've never had a whopper! I'm a little worried about my own eating habits right now. I have weird cravings and all I want to eat are lemons, really sour olives or pasta with cheese. I planned on cooking a stir fry with pork tenderloin and broccoli tonight and it's making me want to gag! I got a poutine for lunch (fries with cheese and gravy) because I just want comfort food. But i know now is the time in my life that healthy eating is so important!!
> 
> I want to know where country went in her babymoon!! I informed OH of the babymoon concept and he seemed fascinated! He had no idea that people took banymoons so we are planning to possibly go to New York or maybe the south in march. I don't know if that will be too late for me to travel but we are pretty much snowed in here in Toronto from December until the end of February and traveling is not easy during winter!!

Welcome to the cravings club :)
I craved sour things for about the first 10 weeks. (along with carbs... always carbs). I gained a lot in the first 12 weeks (9kg´s), but in the 10 weeks since then, only 3kg´s more, so it´s getting better.
I´m not going to worry about too much weight gain now, I´m just going to eat as healthy as I can, and see what happens. I´ll worry about losing the weight afterwards...

And for all of you, there are new bump pictures in my Journal if you want to check it out.
The newest picture has my parrot in it, she didn´t want to be left out, and kept screaming when she couldn´t see us ... :)


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## SashimiMimi

Okay, I finally started a pregnancy journal. I haven't had time to proofread my first entry, but would appreciate some stalkers!!! 

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/p...himimimis-pregnancy-journal.html#post21523225


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## SashimiMimi

I'm still working on figuring out how to put the tickers in my signature. Lauren explained it to me, but I can't seem to make it work!

EDIT: Woo hoo! got it to work!


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## Pino6161

:dance:


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## lauren26

Following you, sashimi!

Monday--wahhh!


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## Pino6161

*Week 1 Day 1 of Couch to 5K Challenge COMPLETE!!!* :happydance: :dance:

I am so SORE. The challenge started with a 5 minute warm up walk, followed by 8 repetitions of 60 second jogging and 90 second brisk walking (wasn't so brisk by the end of it :blush:) and then a 5 minute cool down walk

Since I love in the middle of nowhere I walked a dirt road around a Bermuda field. Well the dirt is uneven and bumpy on parts, and I think that made it worse. My ankles are very sore, but it was so worth it. I went around the field twice. The first time around I was huffing and puffing and I really wanted to quit! I was so close to my house. I am so proud of myself for not quitting. I kept going.:thumbup:

I am not sure if I am going to do day 2 tomorrow. I might just re-due day 1. IDK. OH claims that he wants to do it also, but I just don't see it happening after he gets off a long day at work.

I am so very proud of myself!!!:happydance::thumbup::happydance:

On a NTNP note. It really has not been on my mind. Every now and then I will think about my cycle, but I am trying to put all my energy on eating healthy and exercising. So far it has helped relieve my stress.

Me and Oh have decided that I am going to look for a job. I know it will be temporary as we are moving, but we could really use some extra income, so I am working on job applications. This should also help keep my mind off of TTC. The only catch is I am hoping for something close to home, and options are slim as I live in a small town. We will see :shrug:


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## lxb

sashimi - yay for journal~!!! :dance: what time is your scan today?

pino - have fun~~ :dance: let the running begin~!


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## lauren26

Pino - Good for you!!!

lxb - O day?? :thumbup:


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## lxb

lauren - i have NO idea!! opk showed negative yesterday... i brought some pee stick to work today~ :haha: so we shall see in... ~2 hours?


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## SashimiMimi

Way to go Pino!! Sounds great and a new job sounds fun even if it is temporary!! 

Scan went great. I will post in my journal later... Still trying to get used tithe idea of having a journal. OH felt very emotional when he could see the heartbeat!! :)

Good luck Lxb!!! I may walk home through China town tonight and try and find those plums!! :)


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## lauren26

lxb - I am rooting for the smiley!!!!


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## lxb

lauren26 said:


> lxb - I am rooting for the smiley!!!!

still a blank circle :growlmad: I thought I would get a smiley for sure today! :dohh: my forehead is feeling warm too.. like hot flashes! :haha:

** edited ** 
Think I might be getting sick? stuffy too! I remember my O was delayed when I was sick one cycle! :dohh:


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## lauren26

dang!! I hope you're not getting sick :hugs: but I think it definitely can delay it!


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## treasured

Hey gang! 

Not been on here much being paying too much attention to my health kick! I am due to ovulate either today or tomorow and me and oh BD at like 12 last night so hopefully that will cover it as he is very busy with work this week! He has been promoted to a brand specialist job so we are both very pleased, means more money for us :) The manager also got a call from the head office saying that the brand had been doing excellently and asking who was in charge (which was OH) and so he got very high praise and received a £50 jumper and complimentary lunch from the company! I was proud :) He has also spoken to one of the other managers about me needing another part time job and she is going to interveiw me so hopefully I will get another job (as well as my PA job) until I hear back from the hospital which I have applied for! All sounding promising hehe!

So I had a lot of EWCM yesterday and the day before so thats good and cervix felt quite low while BDing. Not getting my hopes up this month and wont be symptom spotting but we might as well give it a try anyway haha! 

How is everyone getting on? Its much quieter on here now that there are so many BFPS! Not that that is a bad thing Im so pleased for everyone :) just let us catch up soon  xx


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## treasured

lxb- hope your not getting sick!! I always find around Ovulation that I get ill, like cold sypmtoms. stuffy nose and sneezy. Its very annoying! I also get one spot.. silly hormones!


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## lauren26

lxb - :happydance: I see a + OPK on your chart!!! Get your :sex::sex: on girl!! :happydance:

treasured - CONGRATS on your OH's promotion!! Love when that happens :thumbup: It has been quiet on here today though I'm not going anywhere :hugs: Bravo on being so into your health that you don't have as much time for the internet! If only I were that disciplined... :rofl: Woohoo for EWCM too!! Looks to me from your temp like you are Oing--Fx and sounds like you probably hit the window perfectly :)

Sashimi - Did you find the plums? Get used to that journal because we will all be stalking ;)

Afm, Raining here and very lovely! Really starting to feel like fall now. And I got some incredible apple juice last night, lol, which really helps the fall feeling set it. This week is flying for me so far with all the work I have. How is everyone else's week?


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## lxb

treasured - :happydance: Hi O Buddy~!! I've definitely been sneezing lots! eyes are watery.. don't feel too good~

lauren - Yes! will get to BD tonight!! :happydance: [sorry tmi] ... went to the restroom just now and had like a glob of ewcm!! woo~~ little spermies' best friends? :haha:

sashimi - still waiting to see your scan pic~ :dance: did you manage to get some dried sour plum?


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## lauren26

Lol! Totally spermies BF. you and treasured super ewcm!! Have fun ;)


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## countrygirl86

I'm back ladies! Missed you all and thought of you on our trip :hugs: which was AWESOME! DH did a great job planning it and told me the plans on the way down, he was too excited to keep it in lol! We did go to Orlando, did shopping Friday and Downtown Disney; then Epcot and Magic Kingdom Saturday; then went to see the Blue Jays (you a fan at all Sashimi?) play the Rays in Tampa! It was a great trip, lots of memories and pictures! 

Just wanted to weigh in on the fast food: I'm not a fan of Taco Bell but I am a Whopper Jr. fan! Only eat maybe two a year but they are a treat lol Glad everyone is doing well. Great to see Sashimi has tickers and a journal! lxb, I'm pumped for you to O! Lauren, I can't believe you are at 9 weeks, getting close to the end of first tri, we'll be in the second tri together!


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## SleepyOwl

Sashimi - yay for your scan going well!! I'm excited you started a journal too. Another thread dog me to stalk :) did OH cry when he saw the heartbeat? I can imagine that it's quite emotional. 

Lxb - Ohhh yeah for O'ing and positive OPKs! Are you feeling better or still like you're coming down with something?

Haribo, Pino, Preg - how are you three doing?? 

Treasured - I hope you and OH caught the egg this month! Congrats on his work promotion/bonus - that's great! 

Country - in so glad your babymother went well! OH is so sweet to plan that trip for you! Did you feel ok with the flying or did it not really have any effect (sorry if you already commented on this).

I'm on business travel for the next 3 weeks so I'm really feeling lonely and missing OH. I'm trying to get as much rest as I can and eat healthy while up here. I'm feeling fine generally and don't have many symptoms so I think that's a good thing. I miss getting on here!! My work laptop is so darn slow! I'll try to login more often though bc I miss my crazy ladies!!!


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## lauren26

Country happy banana!! Lol! I am so glad you had fun and your DH is just a gem. We missed you!! Did you bring back any souvenirs? :) I can't believe I'm 9w either--when I first got pregnant that sounded sooo far along to me.

Sleepy that is a LONG bout of travel!! I don't blame you for missing OH--that's really tough! So glad you got your bfp before you had to leave so that you and Oh could celebrate together with chipotle!! Take it easy and get lots of rest :hugs:

I am on my phone and SO tired tonight. I will try to get on at work tomorrow. Only a week until I have my own door to slam at work! I can take BmB breaks whenever I want... :haha:


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## treasured

sleepy- hope your not too bored on your business trip :( keep yourself rested and fit and we willbe glad to have you back properly in 3 days :D xx

Bit confused today ladies.... I should have ovulated either yesterday or tuesday.. but its now CD15 and my temp is still down. Also this morning when I went to the toilet there was quite a large 'clump' of spotting. sorry TMI!!! It was brown and deffinately not red like AF. It was just a bit of a shock because this has never happened at around this time before... do you think my dieting could mess up my cycles? :( I still dont have a completely positive OPK and my temp was quite low today. 

Arggg, just as I thought I was getting into a pattern! I dont have sore boobs either so I know I havent O'd.


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## SleepyOwl

Pino6161 said:


> *Week 1 Day 1 of Couch to 5K Challenge COMPLETE!!!* :happydance: :dance:
> 
> I am so SORE. The challenge started with a 5 minute warm up walk, followed by 8 repetitions of 60 second jogging and 90 second brisk walking (wasn't so brisk by the end of it :blush:) and then a 5 minute cool down walk
> 
> Since I love in the middle of nowhere I walked a dirt road around a Bermuda field. Well the dirt is uneven and bumpy on parts, and I think that made it worse. My ankles are very sore, but it was so worth it. I went around the field twice. The first time around I was huffing and puffing and I really wanted to quit! I was so close to my house. I am so proud of myself for not quitting. I kept going.:thumbup:
> 
> I am not sure if I am going to do day 2 tomorrow. I might just re-due day 1. IDK. OH claims that he wants to do it also, but I just don't see it happening after he gets off a long day at work.
> 
> I am so very proud of myself!!!:happydance::thumbup::happydance:
> 
> On a NTNP note. It really has not been on my mind. Every now and then I will think about my cycle, but I am trying to put all my energy on eating healthy and exercising. So far it has helped relieve my stress.
> 
> Me and Oh have decided that I am going to look for a job. I know it will be temporary as we are moving, but we could really use some extra income, so I am working on job applications. This should also help keep my mind off of TTC. The only catch is I am hoping for something close to home, and options are slim as I live in a small town. We will see :shrug:

Finally went back a few pages and saw this. This is great Pino! My sister actually used this program when she first began losing weight and it's been 3.5 years since she started that and has lost and kept off over 30 pounds! I hope you have a similar experience. Really great that you are doing this for yourself!!


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## lauren26

treasured - I have had ovulation spotting before, so could it be that? Definitely wouldn't be AF at this point. I don't think your dieting could affect your cycles much unless you are super depriving yourself, and it sounds like you're not. I think that type of thing starts affecting people if they are truly starving or have less than 15% body fat or something but I wouldn't worry about that, like marathon runners who weigh 90 lbs. Anyway, did you have a + or mostly + before?


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## lxb

sleepy - 3 weeks of business travel? that's a pretty long time~ where are you heading? is it far away? it can definitely feel lonely being away especially with the newly bfp news! definitely squeeze in more facetime with oh! 

treasured - i've heard of it too and like lauren said, it probably wasn't due to your diet. what was your temp this morning? I dont see it on your chart~~


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## countrygirl86

lol @ lxb, always worried about those temps! 

Sleepy - the flying didn't really bother me, I just tried to stay calm! Yuck for travelling for 3 weeks, at one of the most exciting times in your life! At least you'll be that much further ahead in your pregnancy when you get back. Do you have any doctor's appointments coming up?

lauren - I got little buddy a stuffed tigger and mickey lol Your big move has come up so quickly! Are you sad to leave or excited to move?

treasured - I've spotted at O before too, it could be that. Only thing I can recommend is keeping up on temping! Hopefully you'll O soon and catch that egg!


----------



## SashimiMimi

I finally posted scan pics in my journal! It's been such a long week and we have an off-site company meeting across town, at a night club tomorrow afternoon. I'm not sure why it's being held at a night club at 2 pm on a Friday, but I'm just going with it. I'll likely have to do work through the weekend as I'm on deadline!

The wife of OH's friend has been periodically checking in with me since I got my BFP. She knows what we have been through and seems to have been generally excited for our recent success. Last night she asked how my scan went and I told her it was great. She responded by telling me her friend just lost her baby at 15 weeks... Honestly, that kind of stuff is the LAST thing I want to hear. Especially since I just recently got my nerves in check!!

I brushed it off, not really trying to read into the reasons WHY she told me that. Was she simply telling me the tragic story of a friend or was she warning me not to get overly excited yet? 

Normally OH is never phases by anything anyone says, but this morning he told me he woke up at 3:30 in the morning and couldn't get back to sleep he was so angry at her for saying that in response to our good news scan! He was set on writing a very stern letter saying while we are sorry to hear about the friend, we are only surrounding ourselves with positivity. I told him to hold off for now and if it happens again, then we will say something. 

I know terrible things happen, but I found it very odd to say to someone who has just struggled for 15 months and is obviously on edge.

Anyways, how is everyone doing? 

Country your trip sounds amazing! If I hurry up and get my passport renewed, OH and I are thinking of an NYC trip just before Christmas. As you know, January and February are a terrible time to travel in Canada. That is a amazing you got to see the Jays in Florida!!! OH is at a Jays game tonight here in town. 

Sleepy, 3 weeks is such a long time for business travel! Hope you are hanging in there okay and getting lots of rest. 

Pino, your fitness challenge sounds amazing. Good luck! I have personally always gotten frustrated with exercise because I try to do too much, too fast, injure myself and want to throw in the towel. Sounds like you have a really positive mindset!

Treasured, I had O bleeding once. It was like a spot of blood in EWCM. It was really strange but never happened again. I saw some baked treats you posted on Facebook and now all I'm craving is sweets!

Lauren, I keep meaning to ask you if your co-worker has been less annoying?

Haribo, when are you starting your new job?

Lxb, I haven't had a chance to go through Chinatown yet and look for those plums. We are having weird weather where it seems to be summer in the morning and a cool fall day by afternoon. The day I was going to go look, it was so hot when I left for work that I left my jacket at home and then I froze when I left work! Maybe next week I will be more prepared for the plum hunt!


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## lxb

Country - :haha: I am such a chart addict! 

Sashimi - :growlmad: @ ur oh's friends wife! That is the last thing any pregnant ladies would need to hear. Especially given that she knows about your history. Glad ur oh wrote them to express the feelings towards their insensitivity. She probably just associates all things related to 'babies' as appropriate topic. Hope you're not too affected by it.


----------



## treasured

lauren- thanks for the reasurance :) I havent been starving myself in anyway! just changing to healthier foods, so I guess your right about it probably not being my diet! Spotting lasted the whole day though, even when me and OH had a last minute BDing session it was there haha! VERY strange for me... Temp was up a TINY bit today, we shall see if that continues to rise. When I looked back at my OPKS they were actually a bit darker than Id thought, almost positives, but the temp doesnt match... 

I cant believe you are nearly 10 weeks already! this time has just flown in! Sooner than you know you will be running around after a little baby :D Do you think you will stay on B&B after the birth? I hope so!! 

lxb- I have heard of it also, apparently its just your body geering up to O and the cervix being open, and then there is not quite enough progesterone to keep the womb from shedding yet? I guess that would explain my late O, or maybe I just wont O this month... :( I did temp and have put it on my chart now :) your chart looks like you deffinately O'd but doesnt seem to have risen very high? is that a lot differnt from your previous charts? 

country- glad you have experienced that and it was nothing to worry about :) thanks! yesss I hope so too! I am begining to think I will be the only one left on here haha! its a scary thought! as long as you ladies stay here it will be just fine :D haha! how are you getting on? through the first tri and enjoying every minute of your pregnancy I hope! still holding out for a bump pic or is there one in your journal that Ive missed? 

sashimi- So glad your scan went well! I think that is rediculous that OHs friend would mention something so sensitive to you at the moment! I'm sure she didnt mean for you to be in constant worry but maybe just thought she was being realistic? You dont need realistic right now though you need positivity! and anyway there is NOTHING to suggest that that would happen in your case! So just ignore her! You deserve to concentrate on the positive energy that you should have during pregnancy! Goshh, we all thought TTC was hard huh! I found the spotting very strange too, but mine lasted throughout the whole day, it was like the end of a period, clearing it all out... weird! Hehe, I had a charity event for cancer support, and held a tea party for my friends and family and raised over £70! My amazing sweet creations were a hit ;) I wish I could send you some! They'd deffinately be off by the time they arrived though haha! 

It is annoying me because I had all the signs of O a few days ago and nothing has come of it.. I am begining to think maybe this month I may not O at all... 

I hate my body!! haha!


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## lauren26

Sashimi &#8211; I have said this, but I think it&#8217;s totally insensitive for the friend&#8217;s wife to say that to you. I am with you wondering why she would say that to someone in your position&#8212;is she just totally unaware of how it would undoubtedly affect you? I don&#8217;t blame your OH for being furious!! My co-worker has been more supportive as a friend (she used to be such a great friend!), though the other day I had a croissant and an orange Izze for breakfast as that&#8217;s all I could eat and she looked at me like I was eating mud!! I almost yelled at her&#8212;my fuse has been extra short lately. I can be pretty judgmental (especially since becoming pregnant) and I think that&#8217;s why she triggers me so much judging my pregnancy. And because it&#8217;s just a s****y thing to do!! Anyway. 

Treasured &#8211; Your temp actually looks like it&#8217;s up a good amount today! I bet you&#8217;ll see it rise more tomorrow, too. I had months where I am SURE I Oed but my OPK was never totally +. Mine were very fussy and I had to do them at just the exact right time of day for them to give me an accurate reading. 

haribo - Did you find out any other information about what the doctors told you?? I have learned that there's a forum for anything if I Google it.

Lxb &#8211; Temp-crazy lady, where is your temp?? I need temps!! :) 

Afm, I went to bed at 9:15 last night but my cat Marshmallow meowed for TWO HOURS straight starting around 12:30&#8230;so annoying! I fed her, snuggled her, sprayed her with water, yelled at her&#8230;all to no avail! I finally just stuffed my ear plugs as far as possible into my ears and locked her out of the bedroom. OH was gone overnight and I think she missed him! Anyway, even though I spent so much time in bed I feel so tired! Tomorrow is move day and just looking at the piles of boxes and furniture in our apt. makes me tired. Luckily four guys will be helping OH and I won&#8217;t have to lift anything! MIL is coming to help me clean, and I am still irked at her but will try to get over it. 

Happy Friday all!


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## lauren26

Oh and country! Those toys sound so cute. I am excited for it to be OVER. I am a little sad but ready to move on. Seeing the place all packed up and in need of a good deep clean is helping me look forward to a nice new place. :)


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## lxb

treasured - yeah~ let's see the temp for tomorrow. my temp is typically higher after O (above 98), so this cycle seems quite low. I'm still getting cramps and start to think perhaps it's just gas! :haha:

lauren - temp is up! :haha: still looks pretty low though because it usually just shoot up! :shrug: boobs aren't sore... 

sashimi - hope you find some yummy dried plum~! :thumbup:


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## lauren26

lxb It definitely looks to me like you Oed still!! Maybe just a slower riser? :) Is it cooler down there right now? That could contribute. Do you feel like you Oed?


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## lxb

yeah~ i think I've Oed. judging from the cm. cm is now creamy/sticky~! still cramping here and there (thinking that's just gas! :haha:) :thumbup: weather is certainly cooling down (although high today is still 97F! :dohh:)


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## Pino6161

So I need some help from people that know their technology. A while back my husband was tagged in a picture from someone who deleted their account on Facebook, before it was deleted he cropped it and set it as his profile picture. Since he deleted his account the original picture is gone. Is there ANY possible way to get the original picture back, or invert the cropped picture back (undoing it). It is VERY important.


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## treasured

pino- i dont think there is anyway to undo the cropping, as it will not have saved the the computer or facebook as the pre-cropped version. Is there no way that your husbands friend could send over the picture? or even restart his facebook just until you get the picture because I am sure you can restart it! 

lauren- I hope your right about the temp! we shall see :D you should just relax and order the boys around! there is a reason you are tired because your busy growing a little bean and that is enough work out :) Pets can be sooo annoying! my dog scratches at my bedroom door and whines until I let him in in the morning! Very irritating! 

lxb- maybe its just changed a little since your cycles are just getting back on track? also could be the change in temperature! is your thermom cold when you wake up? I googled that and you are supposed to warm it up under your body before turning it on because it can really affect the results! its clearly not as cold there as it is here but my thermom is always freeeezing! 

Still a little bit browny CM today... but much less than yesterday! Hoping I O'd yesterday but still unsure, will see when I temp tomorow! I had my first weigh in today at the gym and Ive lost 3lbs in the week :D So I am very happy with that! Will post more in my journal. 

Hope everyone is doing well! xx


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## lxb

pino - don't think it's possible to retrieve the picture. especially if it's already cropped and used on facebook as his profile. that is a complete bs if your relationship is based on photos as 'proof'. what if the couple just don't like to be photograph?? what if there was a natural disaster that you lost all the pictures you had? not everyone put everything online and/or facebook~!

treasured - fx for ur temp to go up tmr~! :thumbup:


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## treasured

lxb- Im the same as you! slow rising temps! pretty positive ive Od though because im getting sore boobs which is very normal for me! still have a tiny bit of brown CM today and a slight bit of pink when i wiped. I dont understand it at all but we shall see what happens I guess! Are you going to test or just wait out for AF? I dont think I will bother testing because Im not sure of O and I actually prefered to just see AF rather than a BFN :(

Where is everyone today all the boards are quiet :O Hope everyone is well! 

I have friends visiting from up north tomorrow and I am looking forward to seeing them very much! They are also diet freaks so they will help me haha!


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## SashimiMimi

It's always so quiet in here on weekends!!! I went and got my hair done today and Justin low-lights so no chemicals touched my head! I had an acupuncture appointment this morning, too and then went and got my passport photo done. My skin is terrible so ill have a nice zit immortalized on my passport for the next 5 years.

Anyone up to anything fun this weekend??


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## lxb

Treasured - our chart looks pretty similar! Hehe... Nah. Don't think I am gonna test early. I don't have any hpt at home so I guess that helps me fight the urge? I guess I will wait out on af and see how my temp progress. Yay for friends visiting! Anything planned?

Sashimi - hehe... That shall be one of your memories photo. :thumbup: are you and oh discussing about babymoon?


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## SashimiMimi

We are thinking of NYC before Christmas. January and February are snowy and it can be an unpredictable time to fly. I don't want to go to to far either and NYC is s 45 minute flight. It could be fun to take in a few broadway shows and see everything lit up for the holidays.


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## preg_pilot

.


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## preg_pilot

*Sleepy* - doing alright :)
Your business trip sounds exhausting, I´m glad all I have to do on my flying trips is rest up (though sometimes I shop a little).
I hear ya on missing OH...
*lauren* - Lol at BnB breaks at work, sounds awesome :)
I´ve got a cat like that too, she´s really really old and keeps meowing in the night for attention. She´s practically blind and deaf now, so that´s not really surprising. But yes, it can be quite annoying ;)
*treasured* - I hope you O soon :hugs:
*Sash* - wow, what a rude thing to say! People really should keep some things to themselves...
all the fun I´m having this weekend is sleeping in Seattle (notice I didn´t say sleepless ;) )
*lxb* - I´m one of those people that never put pictures on facebook. I take a profile picture every now and then, and the rest are pictures other people have tagged me in... I just don´t like the idea of people knowing everything about my life from pictures on the internet. I can´t control who sees them...

I´m basically just working like crazy.
Just enjoyed a nice week with OH in Denmark. We spent our last 2 days together taking trains all over Copenhagen to buy stuff for the big move that´s happening at the end of October...
We bought boxes and carried those home (heavy stuff), some paint to paint the apartment before we leave, and pallets to transport our belongings back to Iceland (3 of those, each weighing about 23 kg´s... my forearms are a bit bruised from carrying one of those.)

I was supposed to be working 5 morning shifts in a row, but got a call yesterday, asking me to switch those for a flight to Seattle. I gladly obliged.
Much easier to go on one long trip, rather than 5 short ones.
It also makes sure that I´m actually home on Monday when I´m supposed to receive the keys to my new apartment :)
I´m thinking that the first thing I´ll do in there, is bring a towel, some shampoo and a bubble bath, and take a nice long bath. This will be the first apartment I have in 6 years that actually has a bathtub. Can´t wait :happydance:

Little Bub kicks every day now, I kinda feel like I have a merry-go-round baby in there, as he switches positions every day. At least his feet are pointed towards my belly button today. It´s not so pleasant when he´s kicking my crotch or my lungs from the inside ;)


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## preg_pilot

Hey guys.
I just wanted to let you know that I´m cutting down on my subscription threads here on BnB.
I really need to focus on studying flying material this winter, so I´ll only be checking up on my pregnancy journal. I´ll try to get on there every day, but can´t promise anything.
Those of you that want to keep up with my progress, can follow up on me there.
I´ll miss you guys, and maybe I´ll get on here more after the new years.
I won´t stop completely, but I´ll cut down on my internet time a lot.

Internet is just too damn addictive.

Still love you guys, and :hugs: 
all around


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## lauren26

Treasured - how strange about the spotting! I will be interested to see how it turns out. Maybe you super Oed? 

Lxb - liking your chart and your dpo! I need this tww to pass quicker for you and treasured :)

Sashimi - NY at Christmas or before sounds amazing!! A good family friend of OHs is up for the lead in Elf on Broadway--I'd love to go out and see him if he gets it but I'm totally out of vacation time. 

Preg - aww your kitty sounds as cute and annoying as mine lol. I will see you in your journal! Happy studying.

Afm, the apartment is moved and the old place is clean!! The guys and OH moved ALL of the furniture in an hour and a half...up three flights of stairs! How? I don't know. One of the friends who helped is a runner and placed 3rd in a hundred mile race last summer (you did not read that wrong). He spent his childhood running barefoot in Africa and is a freaking powerhouse of an athlete! Anyway, the only problem is that when I got here yesterday the courtyard of the complex smelled SO strongly of natural gas...I called the energy company and apparently they came and checked it out...This morning as soon as I came out of our bedroom I smelled it very strongly again in our apt! I am nervous because it seems like a building-wide issue at the moment and apparently no one else who lives here called! I am hoping they either fix it ASAP or that I have my smells wrong. 

Other than that, great view of a lovely park from our bedroom and balcony! I will try to post it later. We don't have Internet until tomorrow so ndoing this on my phone. Hope everyone is having a nice weekend.


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## lxb

sashimi - nyc sounds fun and definitely snowy!! broadway shows sounds great as well~ a friend of mine are currently enjoying the time with just the two of them. day trip to random places, shopping, etc.~

treasured - i see your temp is going up as well~! :thumbup:

preg - gluck!! will definitely keep up with your journal and see you grow! :thumbup:

lauren - great to hear the move is all done! a HUNDRED miles???? at first i thought i read '100 meters'... i was thinking.. o .. a sprinter?! Then I saw "you did not read that wrong" and went back to read it again and saw "Miles"!! CRAZY!!!! when we move to an apt... we too had to move our stuff through 3 flights of stairs! but we only had a futon and a bed! :haha: not much stuff back then~ enjoying your new place now? :)


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## lauren26

lxb - Woohooo that temp is looking good :) Yes, 100 miles!!!!! It is nuts. I am loving the new place and can't wait until it's all unpacked :) How was your weekend?


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## lauren26

treasured your chart is looking nice too :thumbup:


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## SleepyOwl

It has been so quiet on this thread!! I expected to have missed about 10 pages but looks like I'm fairly caught up!! How is everyone doing? Where is everyone in their cycle - Haribo, Lxb, Treasured, Pino?? 

Sashimi, Lauren - How have you two been? Lauren - congrats on the move!!

Nothing new here - still on this stupid business trip. Going home for the long weekend then flying back up on Monday. I hope this trial goes quickly because I am so looking forward to be home for good. The people are nice enough but there's nothing like being at home with your hubs!


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## Pino6161

Sorry I have not been on much. I keep an eye on here every day though secretly spying LOL. I sounds like everyone is doing really well and enjoying life!!

lxb, treasured--- Your charts look great!!! I really hope it is your guy's time!!

lxb--- Christmas is over :cry: but hopefully you will get a nice Christmas present :haha:

Sash--- NYC sounds great!!! I have never been to the city, only to Buffalo :shrug: as that is where my Mom's family lives.

Sleepy-- Hopefully you will be able to go home soon and enjoy early pregnancy!!

Lauren--- Happy 10 week prune baby!! :dance:

Country--- I saw both of your crib choices, and they are both beautiful!!

Haribo-- Where are you? Hopefully all is well!! 

I hope I covered everyone, if not though be free to yell at me via smileys :haha:

Well tomorrow is our immigration interview. I'm trying to stay calm about it all. I looked online, and it looks like the Tucson office we are going to has some pretty good reviews, so it relieved my fears a bit. It's hard knowing that my husbands fate is in someone else's hands based on the portfolio I made.

We tried to postpone it, but no luck so far. I got an email from our lawyer, and she said to go unless I hear from her.

I made a zucchini lasagna for dinner yesterday. It was great!! I was surprised how well it turned out!! My OH even had 3rds :haha: after he made a grossed out look :rofl:

Today, I have to run to the library and print some stuff out for tomorrow, and then head over to T mobile to see if they have call records going further than October 2011. That is all I can see online. I am hoping my mom's letter comes today. 

Talking about the letter. I am a bit worried about it. My mom was supposed to write a short on about how she approves of my and OH's relationship and get it notarized. Well she works some crazy hours, and the notary was not in the office for a week, so she had my dad write it, and my mom notarized it. There are only 2 notaries in her office. Her, and this other lady. I hope they don't notice :shrug:


With everything going on I have been eating ok, when I am home, but not being home is horrible :blush: I have not been exercising much though as there is just not enough time in the day.

Nothing going on NTNP wise except OH has been very horney lately LOL. My nipples are a bit sore, specifically the left one, but I don't think it is a symptom as much, as OH needs to be more gentle on my goods LOL


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## treasured

lxb- yayy for matching charts! So glad im on my second high temp today!!!

pino- GOOD luck for the interview tomorrow!! Im sure everything will go fine and im so glad you managed to find that picture :) Let me know on facebook later if you want to chat :) you have any idea when you are going to O or are you jut ignoring all signs haha!? can you tell me how to put a weightloss ticker into my journal cause i tried before but I dont know how to edit it when I lose weight?

sleepy- I think I am 5dpo... but my O day was weird this cycle I dunno what was going on with it! Not going to bother testing or anything Im just going to wait it out for AF... hate that witch! are you having anymore noticable symptoms or still feeling pretty good? :)

So 5 dpo I think, not got very sore boobs except from the nipples... still confused by my spotting, dont know whether to take it as a good sign or not!! I also had a bit of a breakdown this morning because as I mentioned before my neighbour next door (who is very nice) just had a baby. My mum knows my neighbours parents well and loves children and has been going on all morning about what she is going to buy for her LO for christmas... I dont blame her for loving babies but this morning it just really got to me for some reason and I had to come up with an excuse to get her to leave and sat and cried for a while. I was just thinking why cant it be MY baby she is buying christmas presents for, and what if its NEVER my baby shes buying things for.... Sorry to put a downer on the thread haha I know everyone is surrounding with positive vibes, I just felt kinda alone today.. Also.. I was quite annoyed with a forum I read on another site titled 'how long did it take you to conceive your first?' and there was literally 2 or 3 out of hundreds that had taken over 10 months TTC. The rest were just like 'oh wouldnt even call it trying' 'one go and BAM' . that pissed me off a little! 

haha! anyway, sorry for the rant ladies :O xxx


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- I use the one from Myfitnesspal

steps from your home page:

1. Go to tools
2. weight loss tickers
3.choose the kind you want
4. copy and paste ticker

It updates automatically when you update through myfitnesspal 

I'm trying not to focus on the signs. I know I am close though as I am day 20. I am not to worried about it though cause we have sex often enough. We will see how well I do ignoring it knowing I hit the TWW. We will see. With everything else going on, I have been putting it to the back of my mind.


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## lxb

sleepy - agree~ there's nothing like being home with hubs~! you've mentioned you guys skyped/text throughout the day right? so that help easing the loneliness a little? almost time to be home sweet home~ :hugs:

treasured - I'm thinking one or two more high temp, then ff will show crosshair?? :thumbup: i only have minor sore boobs. not sure if its from me squeezing them every so often to see if they hurt?? :haha: it's okay to feel down because we all know every single crazy lady here want to be a mom so much and can't wait to hold a little baby in their arms~ on that forum, people who ttc for >10 months as you've mentioned probably didn't want to bother posting either so definitely don't feel like you've alone as there are many women out here who know exactly how you feel~ the rule of thumb is, if the forum gives you positive vibes, then go for it. else, stay AWAY!! (I still need to learn that myself! :haha:)

pino - good luck tomorrow!!! hopefully everything will go as plan! :thumbup: I think tmobile should have records that you needed. fx! :haha: @ oh be extra horny and need to go easy on your nipples!! Men~!

lauren - i still can't believe it's 100 miles! simply amazing!! how's unpacking going? it can be a bit overwhelming huh? I think I still have ~2 boxes left and I moved ~3 years ago! :haha: I guess I don't really 'need' those items in those 2 boxes if i left is unopen for ~3 years!!! 

afm, yep. enjoyed my christmas before it is over! :cry: dh picked up her up last night while I stay home. I got a bad headache! :dohh: didn't see her this morning either! :haha:

6dpo, have cramps here and there. minor sore boobs. that's pretty much it. :bodyb:


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## countrygirl86

Pino - I hope you get everything straightened out with phone records and pictures. You must be keeping very busy with all of that! Hope it's not stressing you out too much, sending positive thoughts your way! 

treasured - I'm interested in finding out if this tinged CM leads to a BFP! When would AF be due for you? Sorry to hear about your Mom/neighbour thing, it's totally understandable it would be upsetting! I never understood when women said it took 4 months and it felt like FOREVER! Rant away, we love it!

Sashimi - That little zit on your passport picture will be a memory of the little bean growing inside you! Your babymoon plans sound awesome! That would be an amazing time of year to go to NYC, you'll have to take lots of pics!

lauren - glad you got all moved and so easily! That is very strange about the natural gas smell, did DH smell it? Happy 10 weeks! During my 10w (11th week, whatever) we started telling people, any plans to start revealing to more people?

lxb - your chart looks great, how are you feeling about this cycle? :hugs: for Christmas being over :cry: does she have any plans to travel again anytime soon? 

Sleepy - I'm looking forward to you being home with DH, I can't imagine being away right now! You'll have lots to catch up on and talk about I'm sure!

It's our Thanksgiving here (in Canada) this upcoming weekend so we're doing our traditional Thanksgiving camping! This'll be the last time for camping this year and it's always so pretty with the leaves changing. How's the weather where everyone is?


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## treasured

thank you *pino* I will try to do it tomorrow when Im less tired! yesss the dreaded TWW is always sneaking up on you even when you try to ignore it! 

*lxb* I hope I will get cross hairs soon thank you!! you are right about all of us wanting our baby to hold! and I do believe that we will all get it :D Hopefully this month :D You have been through so much and I admire your strength and positive attitude so thank you for still being here for all of us :D 

*country* I am curious too! It seems really coincidental that the month I start to diet that I see this spotting but maybe not... Hmm I will just have to wait and see! AF is due on the 10th roughly but seeing as I O'd late im not too sure! Will wait until then to test anyway :) 

I had some more spotting today :S like almost unnoticable, it was a pinky brown creamy colour (TMI SORRY) but barely there like I say! I got excited for a minute thinking maybe IB but Im only 5dpo so it would be too early for that anyway... Did any of you prego ladies have IB just out of interest? 

x


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## Pino6161

:dance:

It has been a GREAT day and it is only 3:00PM!!!

I got my phone bill, and the pictures printed.

I got my nails done.

OH got his Social security card in the mail

My mom sent the notarized note

AND BEST OF ALL

The appointment was postponed until after our 2 year anniversary :dance: This means that instead of being put on a 2 week probationary residency, we will be able to apply for his citizenship in 5 years!!! :dance:

I am very happy now :haha:
 



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## lauren26

treasured - VENT AWAY!! We are here for you :hugs: and it's totally understandable that those things upset you. I am with lxb--stay away if a forum upsets you! I did have IB but it was 12dpo and looked like AF. I hope those promising symptoms deliver for you!

Pino - I wrote on your journal but good luck!! I hope everything goes as it should. It's just ridiculous that you have to prove the bond between you and OH. 

lxb - We have lost a box every time we've moved, and OH and I have moved a LOT since being married. Oh well! Lol. I must not have needed those things too much :rofl: or I'm just disorganized! I am sorry MIL is back :growlmad:, but glad that your temp is looking up!! :happydance:

country - I am so jealous of Canadian Thanksgiving! Monday is a bank holiday here but I don't have it off...People in Boulder are so anti Columbus Day! Dumb! Free day off, people, lol. 

My day and week have been a little rough. More update later!


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## treasured

Arggggg. Got crosshairs on FF today but saying I O'd on CD17 :S! I was sure it was CD15... I dont know whether to go with it or not? It would mean Im only 4dpo today... 

This month is deffinately not quite right haha!


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## lauren26

Treasured I think FF is wrong and that you Oed on the day you think you did. I bet the few high temps earlier threw it off, but looks to me like its giving you Sam inaccurate O date.


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## treasured

Thanks Lauren!! I think so too! My temp was clearly rising since CD15 just not enough to over write the previous temps!


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- it def. looks like you O'd on CD 15.:dance:


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## treasured

Yayy thanks pino! Big temp jump up today so I am glad it is still rising!! Think I am roughly 8dpo... Do you think it would be far to early to test tomorrow? I wasnt going to bother but I am going out for a friends birthday meal and want to know whether I should have a drink or not! Ugh I wish you could find out the day after O! Why must we wait!


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## Jaynie82

HAPPY FRIDAY!!! I am totally rubbish at posting on here as i am usually on my phone and when i do post there are loads of instances were spell check has got it wrong! I am still stalking though! Hope everyone is well and there certainly are some go symptoms lurking around. Hoping and praying they are early signs and not just the nasty AF.

AFM - this month i don't think i ovulated at all and i am also doubtful i did the previous cycle. I don't temp but I was using OPK's this month twice a day from CD9. I am a very reliable 28 day girl so i didn't think anything of it. Anyway i didn't get a line at all (not even a light line....) and no EWCM.... Very frustrating! Fortunately I had booked a doc appointment a couple of weeks ago and she was great. Sent me to the hosp for bloods (day 19 - 21) so i guess that will confirm if i did or not.
Af is due next Thurs so i just want to start my next cycle and get on with it. This cycle we have been BDing every other day, I started acupuncture and going to a yoga class. Both me and DH have been on supplements for about 4 months. Not sure what else I can do!

Having a hard time at work as well. Why does everything happen at the same time? I am getting to the stage were i just want to leave and that may be the best for everyone but we will see.
Have a great weekend x


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## lxb

treasured - nice temp rise today!! :dance: :dance: 8dpo could still be too early to test though~ Ah, i also wish we have some sort of stick we can pee on right after we O and BD to see if we catch that egg! So we can spend the 'tww' crying over it and preparing for next cycle! :haha: someone MUST invent those magical pee stick!! :haha:

jaynie - Happy Friday to you too! BD every other day sounds like you've got all your bases covered~! are you taking anything to help with ewcm? Ah, things always happen all at the same time! Guess that's life~ :hugs:

afm, temp dropped today again. so that really took a big chunk of emotion out of me. not to mention the reminder of Feb 3rd -- the exact edd for my angel-bean from a friend of mine. I had dinner with some of my girlfriends last night, gossiping, chitchatting about life. One of them brought up about that friend of ours who is pregnant (the same friend), and she's superstitious and saying something about getting something from that pregnant friend to me to 'pass the luck'. I know all she only means well... (this happened once before too and I said no thank you - this was probably back in Dec?)... but at the same time.. i wish she could be a little more sensitive on the subject.


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## lauren26

lxb :hugs: :hugs: I am not giving up on you this month! I just know you'll get pregnant soon. Very soon!! Still, the temps can feel disappointing--but I have seen 'bad' charts become pregnant charts and many 'great' charts end up as AF charts--you have a little drop but it could be nbd! Your friends do sound like they were trying to help but it does NOT sound like it would feel helpful at all :( I am sorry you're having a rough one. You are such an inspiration on this board and I hope you only have to wait a few more days for your rainbow :hugs: 

treasured Did FF give you correct cross hairs or did you override? I think you're right on with the CD 15 O! How long until testing for you? I agree that 8dpo might be a tad early but you never know! I'd say it's always safe not to have the drink ;) but if you do, it probably won't be the end of the world as long as you go easy! 

How is everyone else's Friday?? So glad it's the weekend! Am I the only one in the US who doesn't have Columbus Day off?

Afm, spent my first day in my new office--fully equipped with door-slamming capability! :haha: My supervisor told me that she's put in her notice and will leave after December. It's for the best--our team keeps getting super PT supervisors who are never in the office, and her top priority is baby (who can blame her?). She and her OH can afford for her to not work for a while, so she's leaving to be with her little girl. I am jealous! This may also mean that my job changes a bit and that I don't have a totally unqualified supervisor for once....I love the lady who is leaving, but she doesn't know a thing about my job! She's a therapist. Anyway! Just glad to have a door to slam and some privacy for BnB :rofl:


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## treasured

lxb- so sorry for your bfn! but it could still be too early! I dont even want to test, I HATE seeing 1 line. Im 11dpo now so AF 'should' be due in today but seeing as I O'd 2 days late she probably wont show today. I would love magical pee sticks, cause then you could kinda ignore the 2WW and just use it as fun time without the worry of whether or not your pregnant! 

lauren- FF gave me crosshairs for 17dpo... I changed it to 15 because I thought it was more accurate! I thought taking temps vaginally would give a clearer pattern this month but obviously not haha! my temp dropped today anyway so Im just assuming AF is on her way soon :( 

nothing new for me symptom wise, sore boobs and back but thats normal.. I was wishing that spotting was a good sign but now Im just thinking its another annoying thing that we toy over in our minds only to disapoint in the end haha! 

This board really is quiet now! Pino - where are you? :( and haribo!!! we need you back!


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## lauren26

Boo to that temp treasured and boo to lxb's BFN! I am hoping for a different result for you tomorrow treasured and you today lxb :hugs:. This board is very quiet!! Where the crazy ladies at?


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## lxb

I know! Crazy ladies are MIAs!!

Treasured - those temps are confusing! I did an overlay of my chart to yours! Looks pretty similar except mine is a bit higher overall. :haha: I am thinking it is of the weather here is az! Lets see how your temp is tomorrow... Lets pray for that BfPs!!

Yours is green and mine purple~~


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## treasured

I hope so too lauren!! FX

lxb, thanks for doing that chart overlay! its good to see that our charts are fairly similar! Glad yours went up again today! If my temp is down again tomorrow I will know Im out! I had a few cramps earlier and have a REALLY sore back but think I maybe just slept funny! 
you having any symptoms that could be positive?


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## lxb

i think my boobs just hurt a little bit more compare to few days ago? I still have cramps here and there. Other than that... just feeling hot!! And I'm thinking perhaps I'm catching a flu? 

a lot of my symptoms are far too similar this cycle pre-O and pos-O! Like queasiness! I think I just have bad stomach that I eat too much!


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## treasured

waaaah :( temp was up a bit this morning so I was hopeful but then went to the toilet and I am spotting so I guess Im out :( that spotting earlier on must have beeen nothing :( x


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## lauren26

Treasured I hope you are wrong an she stays away!!! Lxb, I await your update...We need two BFPs this month! :hugs:


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## haribo813

Hi everyone, sorry to have been offline for so long-I have been crazy busy at work and then spent a week in Sicily with my husband and got back on Sunday. We had a great break and it was just what we needed after the last month.

Not much is new with me, I'm CD23 but am not holding out much hope what with my hormonal imbalance. I went to see a specialist this morning who's going to do both acupuncture and herbs on me over next few weeks but I broke down this morning after the meeting when I was having blood tests for 3rd time in only a few months while it's one of my best friends' due dates. Seems so silly that I am still so far away and now spending so much money on this specialist when it should be the most natural thing in the world. I'm ashamed to say that I am finding it hard to cope with my sister being pregnant with her 2nd when we have been trying longer than my niece has been alive and my niece is going to be 1 on Sunday-they're having a big party and will then announce to all the family the 2nd baby, all things going well at her scan on Friday. I am not sure how I am going to cope this weekend.

Anyway, that's me, as you can see, I have been staying away from the board as am not in the best place right now and didn't want to ruin the positivity online.

Hope all is well with everyone else and fingers crossed lxb and treasured that your periods stay away.
xxxx


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## treasured

haribo- :hugs: dont you worry about not being on here, you need your space and time with your OH is best atm. But dont forget we are always here for you if you need us! :) 

So sorry to hear how down your feeling, I am kinda the same (although I cant imagine how tough it would be with your sister) I know you will probably have to attend seeing as it is family but maybe even just let her know that you cant be 100% excited right now because of what your going through! I am sick of puting my feelings aside to try and help others, Im done with that and if I wanna be upset then I will be! Although obviously I hope you feel a lot better soon! You never know about this month there have been ladies with crazy conditions and problems that have gotten pregnant naturally :) I will have my FX for you :) and anything you need to vent feel free :) xxxx


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## lxb

agree with treasured~ haribo! Feel free to vent away~! We're always here! :thumbup:

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: it must be hard especially it's your sister. it's such a mix emotion where you want to be happy for them but at the same time, it just reminded you of how much you want it. do take care of yourself first and make sure you're okay first before putting other people ahead of yourself.

it's good that you and oh had that nice little break. and like treasured said, you never really know as this is a game of chance. we have everything cross for you~ :hugs:


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## lauren26

haribo :hugs: I'm so sorry you're in a hard place and you should absolutely take the time you need!! We are here for you, like the ladies said, but you should do what's best for you. I went through the same thing with my SIL's last pregnancy. I just couldn't and didn't get excited for her and didn't want to hear about it. I love my nephew now but she announced her pregnancy right before we started trying and he was born and they announced they'd start on #4 before I got pregnant!! I will not give up hope for you because I thought I'd have 0% chance of conceiving and here I am. But please do what you need to feel supported. If this board is not it, then we will understand :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


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## haribo813

Thanks for being so sweet, it's really appreciated. I am just struggling a bit at the moment as I can't believe it's come to my 15th (16th next week!) month and everyone either has a baby or is pregnant-all my best friends are pregnant, my colleagues are pregnant and so is my sister-I am the definition of surrounded! It's not surprising as I am 31 but I feel pretty lonely at the moment.

I've shared our troubles with a few friends who have been really supportive and kind-it's my family I am currently finding difficult. They have best intentions but are, I have come to realise, making me feel worse about things. I'm finding it hard to communicate this to them though without hurting them (we have always been very close). They are irritating because they tend to just bat my concerns away, saying it'll all work out in the end (will it?!) and say I am worrying unduly (or my favourite, my stress may be stopping me getting pregnant). They already have preconceived ideas about what I should do (head straight to IVF!) which they draw on rather than empathising with me because they think it's their duty to stay positive at all times. So whenever we talk about it I cry and it generally brings out the worst in me! As a result they all think I'm a nightmare who is constantly upset when most of the time I am fine. It makes me so frustrated!

My lovely, endlessly supportive husband has spoken to my mum today so maybe that will have some impact but she said earlier he's too kind and should be more tough (??) with me-she clearly thinks I am dealing with the whole thing terribly which I find really upsetting as who wants to be a disappointment to their family? I think I am just going to have to say I don't want to speak to them about it with any of them for a while until I've had a chance to feel more calm and measured about it.

Ok rant over, thanks for listening. My new job starts next week so hopefully I can launch myself into that and forget about things for a while and can get some positivity going again.

xxxx


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## lxb

haribo - :hugs: :hugs: sometimes as a family member, you tend to want to say the right thing and be strong and positive for the other person when he/she is feeling down. People need to realize sometimes it's perfectly fine to stop and simply listen. no 'advice' needed. Simply be an ear and understanding. For people who hadn't struggle with ttc or have shorter ttc journey certainly can't understand the frustration.

like my sis, she's pregnant with her #2 right now. both times she got it within 3-4 months? when I was talking to her the other day, she said "you know the tips?". I said "what?" ... she said "the main thing is, to take it easy before fertile time and really work hard at it during the fertile window. relax". sigh.. yeah.. no kidding. :dohh: I remember when I had my mc and i explained to her what type of mc it is. And she thinks she understood everything and said to me.. "Hm. I sometime have late period. Maybe that was a mc!!" .... I didn't exactly know how to response to that either. and she tried to explain to my mom about mc. it just made me realize how ignorant she was in that sense with all of her 'logic' as to why it became mc. I just deeply sigh... and decided that I won't waste any of my energy is making her understand what/how I am feeling because I concluded that it wont work.

sorry. a bit of a rant there! :dohh:

Good luck on your new job!! :hugs: Sending positive thoughts your way~~


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## haribo813

Thanks lxb, you've made me feel less alone as can totally relate to your examples! My older sis who gives me tips thought that temping involved waking up in the middle of the night to take your temperature and when I talked about TTC she said she doesn't like to talk about 'trying' for a baby and I thought well some people don't have to it's true but it certainly feels trying to me!

Regardless of the fact I won't be able to have IVF until next summer earliest, both she and my mum both think it's pretty straightforward. I tried to explain that it's really stressful, full on and hard to fit around work and can be tough emotionally if doesn't work out and my sis then said well it's a question of priorities, depends how much you want it! I thought I would scream! I know she is just expressing her opinion but sigh indeed. 

xxx


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## lauren26

haribo it's no wonder you are feeling awful! On top of LTTTC your family's advice is more criticism than anything :hugs: My SIL has gotten pg on the first try or on accident with all three and this last time when they announced their pregnancy I said, 'Oh, I didn't even know you were trying!' She very snappily responded, 'We didn't _try_, we succeeded.' I found this totally arrogant since we tried and tried and tried. Any time I discussed our fertility problems with her she got uncomfortable and gave similar 'advice' to what you're describing, or jumped immediately to the conclusion that we couldn't ever have kids, which was hurtful and scary. People who haven't been through any difficulty just don't get it!! I absolutely think that you WILL get pregnant, and it might take some alternative methods but you can get there. In the mean time, I think it's wise and will be helpful not to talk with family members about what you're going through. I'm so glad you have a supportive husband, and from what you've said before about your new job it sounds like it will be lovely :hugs:. We are here when you need us! Be sweet to yourself.


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## treasured

Temp plummeted this morning right below coverline, and Im spotting! Wahey I'm out again. This is getting monotonous. A year ago tomorrow I booked my appointment to get my BC removed and was planning on how to tell people a month later, haha how wrong. I just don't know what to do differently anymore naturally, there must be something wrong. I'm not actually even that upset anymore, its become so routine :S Sorry for the negativity :( x


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## lxb

haribo - :hugs: :hugs:

treasured - we started ttc oct 2011 and also was naive to think it will happen right off the back and we'll have a 2012 baby~! my temp also took a bit hit this morning! Saw some red cm just now. Ergh... why does AF has to be late?! Just wished she would've shown yesterday already so I'll be on CD4 for my camping trip! If AF has full flow today... I'll only be CD3 (which is pretty heavy on my normal cycle). :dohh: but judging from the rate it's going now... it might only be full flow tomorrow? :shrug:

I guess I really have a bad stomach~ Threw up a little again after lunch today. Just hope I'm not physically ill.

**hugssss** ladies~~


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## lauren26

treasured it's so frustrating to go month after month getting AF :( Are you able to start seeing a specialist at this point? Is there still an issue for them with your age? I know that I started feeling some relief as my docs got more and more clues into what was going on with me. 

lxb I wrote this on your journal but :hugs: and I just know that your BFP is around the corner. I wish there wasn't an AF in between here and there, though!! You have been so strong--remember it's ok to have moments like you had today with OH. He sounds so wonderful and supportive, and you have us to lean on, too.


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## SashimiMimi

Haribo, I so feel for you. My family tried to be so supportive the entire time I TTCed and went through all those fertility treatments. They would always say "It will happen!" And I would say "How the heck do YOU know!" I think we have to trust that it will happen, but it is certainly okay to allow yourself moments to be discouraged along the way.

My biggest thing was when people would tell me to just adopt! Well, I didn't want to adopt and people would look at me in disgust and say "Why, those kids need love too!" Well do you think there are just tons of newborn babies sitting around waiting to find homes? It's a very expensive, long and invasive procedure and there is no guarantee that you end up with a baby. People just don't understand the need to experience pregnancy and at least try everything possible to have biological children.

There is also a lot of misconception about IVF. First, I have found it seems to be a controversial topic. Some people think it is evil, while others think it is the cure all for all infertility. Yes, it worked for me, but there are usually tons of steps that could result in a BFP before doing something so drastic. 

So never apologize for sounding negative, that is what this board is for -- venting our emotions whether they are good or bad. I think also if you can find a IRL support group, like a fertility yoga group or something like that, it really helps to meet people in the same boat. 

I think it is totally understandable that you find your sister's pregnancy difficult. Even though my SIL and brother struggled with their first pregnancy, I was worried they would have a third baby while I was still TTC for my first. It was reassuring to know that their second came pretty easily though. But OH and I did have a few disagreements over the summer where I didn't want to visit a friend who had a baby in May. She TTCed and had a baby in less than a year, meanwhile I was having failed IUI after failed IUI. 

I wish there was something I could say to make it all magically okay, but just know that you can vent here and it is okay to feel the things you are feeling. :)

How is everyone else doing? It sure gets quiet in here and I am going to try and make an effort to log on more. It's impossible for me to write on here at work because I work in an open space and there are always people who come up behind me. (I'm home sick today, so I'm BnBing my heart out.)

Lately, in the evenings I have been so tired I just want to go to bed as soon as I get home! Miss you all!


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## countrygirl86

Hi ladies, sorry I've been MIA for the past little while! We had camping and Thanksgiving this weekend then my boss is off this week so I'm just now getting a chance to catch up on some BnB.

haribo - very jealous of your trip with OH to Sicily! It must be hard struggling for your own BFP and to see your sister pg with #2. There doesn't seem to be any logic to who gets a BFP and when which I know is no consolation, it's just how it is. You are on the way to your BFP and trying acupuncture and herbs can only help. I'm with Sashimi, this board is exactly the place for you to vent and get it all of your chest. That's what we're here for and you'll feel better for it. We didn't tell anyone we were TTC which was good in some ways but I wished I had people to talk to about it (my mom) during the tough bits, that's where you all came in! Your family are all trying to 'solve the problem' but they just need to be there for you. If they won't give you the support you need, don't talk to them about it. You'll do whatever procedures whenever you are ready and want them! For now you've got a new job to look forward to!

lxb - your sister sounds much like my SIL, she has no idea about TTC! They got pg the first month they tried and 'can't believe' I took my temperature every morning. I feel better for the knowledge I gained by having irregular cycles and learning more about my body through our 'struggles'. 

lauren - I think I might have b* slapped your SIL for saying that! Some people are so insensitive you have to feel bad for them, otherwise you'll blow up! How are you feeling girl?

treasured - so sorry hun :hugs: What kind of BC were you on? I'm sure we all went into this thinking we'd be pg the first month or so since in high school they scare you. We took exactly a year to get pg and as far as we know there's nothing wrong I guess. Have you thought of taking a break? It's not for everyone but some people find a renewed sense of calm after (and some get BFPs during!). 

lxb - your poor stomach! Hope whatever it is is gone by now, you don't need to be dealing with AF and puking. :hugs: Hope you are looking forward to your camping trip and you have great weather!

Sashimi - how are you doing these days? Morning sickness/nausea? Any cramping? Have your boobs had a growth spurt yet? lol Mine have had a second growth spurt so I'm going for new bras again tonight. When are you telling people?

Sleepy - I'm looking forward to you getting back home full time with DH! Then you can focus on growing that lovely little bean inside of you. Are you finding it challenging hiding it being away from home?

hi to Pino and Jaynie!


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## lauren26

Country - I was feeling MUCH better until yesterday--I threw up twice and came close two other times. I am not sure why. I've been doing Unisom for sleep this week which is recommended by my docs as a safe sleep aid that helps with nausea the next day. I haven't felt nauseous all week until yesterday. I think it's just lingering MS (praying that I am not sick for the THIRD time, lol). Other than that, pretty much OK. I see my OB on Tuesday for the 12w scan and am a little nervous but I'm sure it will go fine and I'll be relieved when it's over that I don't have another for two months!


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## SashimiMimi

Country I haven't felt anything in a couple of days! It makes me feel so nervous. I'm contemplatin going a day early for my 9w scan just so I know all is okay!


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## haribo813

Thanks for everyone's sweet messages. I am feeling a lot better today. I think sometimes you need to get a bit of perspective in life and enjoy what you do have-it's so much more than you realise and in the grand scheme of things I am very lucky indeed.

I was grumpy all weekend as my period showed on Saturday just as I was getting ready for the wedding. Anyway I am over it now and just desperate for my new job to start! I have been spending some time here and there with my new team and really think I am going to enjoy it. I also feel a bit bad as I was sulky around my family and my OH is right-we all need to communicate a bit better so that they can deal with it in a more supportive way and I won't feel frustrated so that's something I am going to work on. In the long term I'm sure it will make our relationships even stronger-I just think they don't know how to help me at the moment so I need to let them know.

How is everyone? Lauren, I hope you're feeling better? Sashimi, I hope you're feeling reassured and happy with how everything is progressing. Lxb, treasured, pino, Jaynie how are you all doing? Country I hope all's well with you too.

xxx


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## lxb

haribo - so glad to hear you're feeling better. it's great to hear you're enjoying your new team and your new job. hope this positivity will flow through, next up should be a bfp~ :) communication is definitely important between you and your family and certainly with your OH as well. glad to hear the sign of relieve of some of your frustration that you felt days ago~ :thumbup: sometime they just need to know it's okay to not be able to help. simply listen is a huge support and help itself~

feels like time is flying by.. week by week. It's almost end of 2012 already! VERY much looking forward to Nov (mil-less days) :haha: along with all those holidays coming up!! 

treasured, pino, jaynie~ how are you ladies?

sleepy should be back from business trip right? 

lauren - i went shopping with sis the other day. saw some yoga pants... I am SO tempted to get some as they look soooooooo comfy~ and i thought about you~~ very much looking forward to see the next scan update~!!

sashimi - did you manage to find some sour plums? :) 

country - my stomach is definitely up for something no good! Felt funny when i went camping as well~! perhaps being up in 9000ft elevation contribute to it as well? :shrug:


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## preg_pilot

Hey guys.
I just wanted to let you know I´m partially back.
I really miss just reading about your daily lives, and chatting with you through BnB.
I´m going to allow myself this one thread (and possibly one expecting thread).

:friends:

A tiny update:
I´m finally really feeling the fatigue of being pregnant, my bump exploded the other day, and I look like I´m about to pop.
I spent 4 days with a stomach bug, and wound up in the hospital to get an IV on Monday. Feeling better now, but really really tired.
Work tomorrow, Friday, Saturday, deadheading on Sunday and then Denmark on Monday. Everything is clicking together these days. (last day of work is on Saturday.


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## countrygirl86

Wow this thread has been quiet! 

Glad you are feeling better Haribo. What an awful time to get AF but hopefully you had a great time at the wedding in spite of her! I'm glad your new job sounds so promising! When does it start?

lxb - is your stomach still acting up? I'm thinking you should maybe get it checked out! No point living with an irritable stomach if you don't have to. 

:howdy: preg! You were missed! Glad you are back, and feeling better! Sounds like a nasty bug if you needed to be on IV! How's the LO doing? Getting all ready for your move?

Things are definitely moving along for me; crib is in, baby shower is being planned, felt hiccups today! Even though I'm not on here a lot I think of you ladies throughout my daily life, so thankful we met on here and are able to be there for each other!:hugs:


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## preg_pilot

countrygirl86 said:


> Wow this thread has been quiet!
> 
> Glad you are feeling better Haribo. What an awful time to get AF but hopefully you had a great time at the wedding in spite of her! I'm glad your new job sounds so promising! When does it start?
> 
> lxb - is your stomach still acting up? I'm thinking you should maybe get it checked out! No point living with an irritable stomach if you don't have to.
> 
> :howdy: preg! You were missed! Glad you are back, and feeling better! Sounds like a nasty bug if you needed to be on IV! How's the LO doing? Getting all ready for your move?
> 
> Things are definitely moving along for me; crib is in, baby shower is being planned, felt hiccups today! Even though I'm not on here a lot I think of you ladies throughout my daily life, so thankful we met on here and are able to be there for each other!:hugs:

Hey, thanks :) I missed you guys too. :hugs:
LO is doing fine, kicking away. Strong as ever, and my belly is exploding these days. No hiding the fact I´m pregnant anymore. I´m glad this is my second to last shift at work today. (my coccyx is killing me these days, hurts to sit for any length of time. Yay for a sitting job, eh?)
It was apparently just a standard stomach bug, but it lasted a little bit too long, so I entered a vicious cycle, where my body actually got too dry to be able to handle any liquids... I get better as soon as I started on the first bag of IV fluid.


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## SleepyOwl

Lxb - Yes I'm back! Should be easier to keep up now that I'm not using my phone!!

Country - Yes, it was very difficult to hide being pregnant on this trip since my co-workers and I (3 of them) had every meal together and everyone drank at dinner, except me of course. Finally at the end of the second week, they caught on. Didn't help that I was constantly running to the bathroom to dry heave the past two weeks. No one actually said anything, but they would order me fries and ginger ale if I was in the bathroom too long (2 of them have young children of their own) so it was actually sort of nice. 

Haribo - Sorry about AF showing and that you've been having a rough go at things. I'm glad you're feeling better though :hugs:

I feel like I've missed so much so I'm going to do my best to keep up from here on out! I'm still catching up on the last couple of pages. My first OB appointment is Oct 29 and I'm NERVOUS! Praying everything is okay in there and that baby is growing; trying not to think about it and just be patient. Missed this crazy lady thread!


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## lxb

preg - eekk! stomach bug! glad to hear you're feeling better! I'm loving all your bump pics~ looks like you're progressing very nicely~ keep up with those fluid~ :thumbup:

country - i know~! such quiet crazy lady thread! I also thought about you ladies everyday and sending positive thoughts to every single one of you~ I'm also grateful that I met you ladies here and hopefully we will all able to meet one day! I'm not too sure what's up with my stomach. Perhaps it's from stress? Or maybe I should control my appetite a little and not pig out~! hehe... felt like my stomach is swollen yesterday though.. perhaps it's gearing up for O? Let's see how it goes this cycle as I'm 'trying' to relax.... 

sleepy - good to see you back~ what a busy past few weeks had been for you~ glad to hear you're back home~! Oct 29th is coming up soon~ Can't wait to see the little sticky bean you've been growing~


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## countrygirl86

preg - great to hear you are done work soon! I'm sure you'll keep busy though with the move and getting ready for LO!

Sleepy - that is really nice of them to order you some food and a ginger ale (my fave). Do you get the sickness at all times of the day? 

lxb - your chart looks like you are getting ready to O very soon! Time for some :ninja: lol Is DH still working those crazy night shifts?

Not sure where everyone else is but I'll go find your journals! Can't just make it easy and post on here lol


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## treasured

Hi everyone!

Sorry for my lack of attention to B&B recently, I havent had much motivation to come on. 
I have just got a new job and am now working two jobs so have been busy! And I am trying to keep up with my fitness regime as well so I dont have much time! 

I haven't been keeping track much at all this month in fact I think I have probably even missed O because me and OH are both to tired to bother :( I feel the first half of last year TTC became an obsession for me and I put so much hope into it, then that began to die out as the year mark approach and now I feel like TTC is taking a back seat in my life and it is like an unsolved mystery that I can no longer bare to try to solve. 

Anyway enough of my ramblings, I hope everyone is doing well and feeling happy!


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## Pino6161

I am just popping in to say hi. Like Treasured, I have not been tracking at all the last 2 months. Hope is gone. I am just trying to keep myself busy. Tomorrow I am supposed to be getting a new kitten and Friday is me and OH's immigration interview, so preparing for that. Along with trying to get my business off the ground, and have been swamped. Oh has been working 15 hours days everyday, so I am trying to be supportive of his crankiness. Hope everyone is doing well.


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## SleepyOwl

Country - I do get it at all times of the day. Mostly when I'm hungry or have to use the bathroom (gross I know, but whatever!). I found that grapes really help - strange right? 

Pino - Don't lose hope! I know it feels like that sometimes. I'm glad you have some major stuff going on to distract you. Good luck at OH's interview - make sure you update us. Yay for the kitten!! Post a pic once you get him/her!! Love little animals :)

Treasured - How's the fitness routine going? Good for you for keeping up with that! I know what you mean about approaching that one year mark - you sort of just feel over it. Here's hoping TTC taking a backseat does the trick for you :hugs:

How's everyone else doing? I've been super tired and crying all the time like a fool. I'm sure OH is sick of putting up with it, but it's not like he has a choice lol. Anyone have anything fun planned for the weekend? How's everyone else doing??


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## lauren26

Pino and treasured, I am glad that you both have things going on in your life to help distract you from TTC. I have no doubt that it will happen for both of you, but until then it will help to focus on other things and be distracted like sleepy said. We are here if and when you need us! :hugs:


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## Pino6161

My OH is officially a permanent resident :dance:

I also got the kitten. She is a little girl name Leila!! She is a bit shy still, but doing well.


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## lauren26

Yay for your OH and you Pino!! I am so glad you get to be done dealing with all that :happydance: Will you post a pic of your kitten?! I love kitties!!


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## lxb

yay pino!!! :happydance: congratulations!!!

treasured - are you Oing today? i see the same low temp!


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## Pino6161

Leila is almost 4 months. She was born July 4, 2012 :)
 



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## lauren26

Eeeeee!!!!!! She is so cute and fluffy!! :wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo:


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## lxb

Oo.. a 4th of July baby~~~~~~~~~~ CUTE!


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## treasured

Pino your kitty is SO cute!! Bring her when you visit me  I am SO glad OH got the residency and that the interview went well :) So happy for you both! This is the fresh start you guys need :)

lxb- I have been a bit rubbish with my temping this month but I seemed to have 2 low temps :S No signs of O at all and I forgot to temp this morning so I will have to wait to se a rise tomorrow. This is VERY late for me though and I am getting worried my cycles have messed up! I have just got another job so me and OH have been very busy this month as you can see from my chart we have BD like 3 times.. so I literally have NO hope for this month. Have you been getting a lot of BDing in? 

lauren- thanks :) I think I am kind of just at the stage of defeat. I keep trying but even OH has taken a major back seat (not that he did much anyway) but we havent even talked about TTC in about 2 months and I fear that we are becoming to distant :( We are both working everyday now and barely have time to BD, although I do try!! I feel like screaming at him 3 times a month is not enough to make a baby!!!! Anyway, enough of my ranting... how is everyhing with you? so glad you are in second tri the time seems to FLY! No time at all before there are baby pics in all your journals :D xx


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## SashimiMimi

Pino I love that cat and I'm so thrilled for your OH!

I'm sad our crazy lady thread has become such a quiet place. I think part of that is because we all have individual journals and tend not to post our updates in here as we once did... I really miss our group conversations and wish we could find a way to start them up again. I find I don't trust people IRL like I do you ladies, and I certainly don't want to confide in anyone else like I do with this group.

I'm 11 weeks today and just updated my journal. I've been quiet because I was getting really nervous about my pregnancy, but a scan yesterday showed all is well. I've also been quiet because work has been intolerable and overly stressful. I'm finally going to tell my boss tomorrow (early) for several reasons which I listed in my journal. 

We have slowly started to tell people our news. OH is currently on the phone with a very close friend of his out on the West Coast. I guess he must have told him our whole IVF story, because when I walked into the room where he is chatting I heard OH say "No... we are not about to be the next Octomom...." "No... Octomom didn't do IVF and assisted conception procedures are actually very controlled and no one ever has 8 babies because it could be life threatening to both the mom and babies!" 

Why does everyone keep referencing Octomom when we tell them our news!? I totally understand inquiring about twins, but 8 babies? Sigh!!! LOL

Anyway, I hope everyone is well. Miss all of you ladies xoxoxox


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## SashimiMimi

P.S. A while ago I mentioned a party that I refused to attend with OH because we had just started IVF and a year ago we went to this same party when we had started TTC. In my mind, this party felt like a milestone and I just couldn't have handled going there and seeing other people with BFPs while I was under so much pressure and not feeling well from the IVF injections. Well I can't remember if I mentioned that a few days later, I bumped into a couple at my fertility clinic who I had met at that same party the year prior. They asked why we weren't there this year and I explained that we were doing IVF and I just wasn't in the right frame of mind.

I exchanged phone numbers and emails with the wife and we kept in touch for a bit, then she kind of went AWOL. Well I saw her at the clinic again two weeks ago and we met for dinner this past Thursday night. We had an amazing time and it was so great to connect about going through infertility. She told me she has PCOS, several autoimmune disorders and has gone through 6 mcs. My heart broke for her. The first time I saw her at the clinic, she was there for her first scan and by the next week the baby hadn't survived. I can't even imagine that type of loss, but she seemed so positive and optimistic when I saw her. She went AWOL because she was obviously devastated, and then took a long TTC break and went away on a trip. She told me she and her husband had prayed for me at their church when they heard I was going through IVF and that completely touched me. I don't go to church and am not overly religious, but I am going to pray for her too and put lots of positive thoughts out there for her to get a bfp that sticks.


----------



## Pino6161

I wait and wait
I cant stop the pain
It hurts so bad
Who can I blame?

I know it is not him
He is flawless
But my lights dim
Here in the darkness

Can you see me?
I cant find the light?
You said it would get better on the other side

Where is that?
I feel so still
I can only take so many pills

Tomorrow you say?
When is that?
I feel alone in all this pain

You just cant see
How hard it is 
You say you stand by me
Even in this darkness

Next time, next time
Well keep trying
We will go as high as we need to climb

It never comes, can we reach the top?
Will we ever get there, or should we stop?

I dont dream anymore
Whats the point? 
Whats in store?

Will my arms be forever empty?
My heart forever broke?
With the jealousy killing me
Making my ears smoke?

I am so scared
Im so alone
Everyone cares
But everyone scorns

Your to young
You have your life
Go to school
Be a wife

Forget these wild dreams
Stop with the schemes
Let go
Be free

Stop talking
I cant
This is my life

Dont you see?
I am nothing?
I cant stop now
I need to feel the warmth in my arms somehow

Not tomorrow,
It never comes

Not even today
I needed this yesterday.


----------



## lxb

treasured - I'm also confused by your chart. r u temping through hoo ha?

pino - hope you're doing well~ you've been quiet too~

sashimi - yeah~ this crazy lady thread has certainly been quiet.. TOO quiet! I hope all is well with all of you ladies~

haribo - how are you?

country & preg - happy double digits!!

sleepy - hope you were able to get to your appt today~ sending positive thoughts you way~ can't wait to see scan pic! :hugs:

lauren - happy 2nd tri!! :hugs:

feel like time is flying by! It's almost end of the year already~


----------



## lauren26

It has been very quiet and it makes sense, though I want our thread to get more active again, too! I have taken a bit of a BnB break due to the totally draining and stressful work situation, too. But like Sashimi I feel closer to you ladies than I do most people IRL--I love you crazy ladies!! 

This year is totally flying by and I cannot wait for Christmas!! I wrote this in my journal but DH and I are looking for a house and that's both exciting and very scary. Mostly I'm afraid to leave my home of 10 years in Boulder and enter into a 'new' world with neighborhoods I'm unfamiliar with and people I don't know! The places I've lived have been very sheltered, lol. 

I hope all you ladies are doing well :hugs: I think of you every day!


----------



## countrygirl86

Pino - cute kitty and :hugs:, hope you are snuggling with your new addition lots.

treasured - it's funny that you say to lauren '3 times a month is not enough to make a baby' when she got pg with one time! Anything is possible Sweetie. 

Sashimi - i'm glad you are connecting with women IRL (though we need you too!). That's so sweet that they prayed for you. I'm not a church goer or overly religious either but sometimes people touch your soul. I am surprised at how many people are referencing Octomom to you! I don't actually know the story but I can guess, and I would have thought twins would have been the more common comment! 

lxb - double digits, it's getting serious/scary now! The year is flying by but we have all made wonderful progress together. Some great conversations and lots of support!

lauren - it's super exciting you are looking for a house! How far away from where you are now would it be?

Did anyone go to any Halloween parties or dress up at all? We won't be giving out candy because we live down a long dark driveway! I didn't buy any candy anyway but I did make cookies lol


----------



## SashimiMimi

Umm... So before I could tell my boss about my pregnancy I got served with a 1 month probation and 30 days to improve my "performance" or be terminated. I admit I was completely blindsided and this scenario is exactly what OH feared when I was questioned about my pregnancy and answered truthfully to a co-worker I'm not close with. 

Perhaps my performance had not been up to par given the stress of IVF and then now dealing with pregnancy worry and the symptoms that make me feel lousy. But I find the timing so fishy and feel like there is a bit of discrimination going on.

So after a long think about it, I feel it's best to put my baby's health first and not try to bend over backwards to improve a job I already give 100% at. So I think I will tell my boss that I can't do better than I've been doing and to just terminate me now. 

I do feel a lot of this is discrimination. But it's been handled in a way that I can't prove it, and I have someone else's health to worry about now so I'm cutting my loses. I'll let you know how it goes.


----------



## lxb

Sashimi - I'm so sorry to hear I has to come down to this. Sucks to be workin at a discriminated workplace. And you are right, you not only have to take good care of yourself but also for the little bean growing inside you. You've been through a lot and those stress are not good for your health and your well being. :hugs: :hugs: we are all here for you. Wish we cold be there to give you hugs irl. Sending positive thoughts your way dear friend. :hugs:


----------



## lauren26

Sashimi you know how I feel but I can't believe your workplace has the nerve to fire or threaten to fire a pregnant woman who has been putting in late hours and working extremely hard! I am so sorry and like lxb I wish I could give you a giant hug IRL, but I know that whatever you decide will be best for you and baby. You don't need to be around inconsiderate, stressed people or max yourself out when it's time to be focusing on growing your LO. We are here for you! :hugs: Let us know how it goes and what you decide.


----------



## countrygirl86

Wow Sashimi that's awful it has come to this! We all support you whatever you decide. You and your LO are THE most important things in your life right now so you definitely need to do whatever you can to protect your health. I'm anxiously waiting to hear what you decided and what the outcome is!

:hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## SleepyOwl

Oh Sashimi - I am SO sorry to hear that. One tough day after another. I hope you find peace in whatever decision you make and like Country said - we are here to support you no matter what! You know what's best for you and your bean. Keep us updated!

My appointment went well today - I posted a pic in my journal. Baby Owl was moving it's little arms and it's heart was beating away. I am feeling especially grateful today and just so relieved that this appointment is finally over with. Measuring ahead of where I thought was so that was a nice little surprise as well. 

We've had tons of trick or treaters tonight. We live in a neighborhood with a ton of kids and everyone is fairly close. All the kids are so sweet and super cute all dressed up. We went through 4 huge bags of Walmart candy (of course I saved myself a few little treats here and there hehe). 

Treasured - Also I saw that you were concerned about how much you were BD'ing. OH and I BD'd only TWICE the entire month I got pregnant (no time because I had started my new job) so don't lose hope - it can totally happen girl!!!

Haribo, Pino - How are you ladies??

Lxb - Your MIL-less days are SO close. How are you going to celebrate?? Lol!


----------



## SashimiMimi

Hi Crazy Ladies! I posted a very long detailed account of the whole work situation, but also wanted to post the conclusion to it all here in our crazy thread:

Tuesday night, I did not sleep AT ALL! And I mean I literally never fell asleep and lay awake until OH's alarm went off. That's how stressed I was about the whole work situation. I broke down crying that I hadn't slept and I had terrible stomach cramping (which was probably just stress stomach and not the baby) and OH actually stuck around and drove me to work through traffic so I didn't have to commute on the subway. 

I went to the office and immediately spoke to my HR friend who is also pregnant and also had fertility issues. She was really upset about the whole thing, and I told her I couldn't help but feel the timing of a sudden work probation BEFORE I could tell my boss about my pregnancy was incredibly suspicious. Also there is the fact that HR knew about it and my sneaky co-worker knew about it AND knew the day I planned on telling our boss. 

So I said while I was hurt and angry, I have no plans of suing the company but that I had not slept the night before and was experiencing cramps and this is just too much stress on the baby. I told her I didn't want to bend over backwards to exceed myself when I was already doing my best and putting 100% into my role. It wouldn't be worth it if it somehow negatively impacted my pregnancy, especially if it was clear they are going to terminate me in 30 days as it seems their minds are made up. 

So I asked to be terminated on the spot. I did not want to wait until late morning to speak to my boss after she got out of a meeting. I also didn't want to just quit, because then I wouldn't be eligible for unemployment insurance. My HR friend was very accommodating, got approval and she actually broke down crying over how shitty the whole thing is.

But, while I think the personal attack on my performance and my writing style was very cruel, I do think this is a blessing in disguise. For a few weeks now, I've worried about the long commute to work during our tough winter months. I worried about the general stress of the job, which always creates a lot of pressure and often late nights at the office. Also my pregnancy made me stop caring about working for a hokey magazine. It's not like I'm saving lives! After such a long battle with infertility, I feel really inspired to make a career out of helping other women going through fertility struggles. I don't know how I would do that, but going through so many failed months of TTC, several failed IUIs and IVF really changed me as a person. 

Now at least I can have a stress-free pregnancy without the pressure of work, and maybe this is what the Universe wants for me. I'm also excited to get a head start on getting the house ready, which is going to be a HUGE job and I'm thankful to have the time to do it. 

I'm going to my office today after 5 p.m. They have asked me to sign some papers to confirm that I will not sue the company. (So obviously they KNOW they were in the wrong!) I'm also going to clean off my desk.

Now here is where I need some advice, ladies. I got a message from HR saying that my boss wants my notes from an interview I did for a story that I am now obviously NOT going to write. The thing is, the interview is in my personal recorder and I have not transcribed it. It would take me at least a couple hours to go through the whole thing and type the interview out word for word for someone else to write the story.

I actually don't want to do this, but at the same time I don't want to be a pill and be like No! I don't have any way of transferring the recording to a computer, so the only solution would be to offer to type it out for them. But now that I have had a good sleep and can reflect on the situation with a clear mind, some really awful things were said to me. I was also blamed for things that weren't my fault. Like the whole magazine going to print late... they said it was my fault because I'm so crappy, when really it went late because my boss was in Chicago for a week while we were on deadline. She didn't come back until the 11th hour and had to approve everything. So I don't feel I should do them any favors, yet my dad has urged me not to burn any bridges. What would you ladies do in my situation?


----------



## SashimiMimi

P.S. Sleepy I am so happy your scan went well. That must have been an incredible experience! (I know from being super paranoid and having had 4 scans so far ;) ) I can't wait to follow your new journal.

And ladies, another good thing... I'm going to have TONS of time now for BnB!


----------



## lxb

sleepy - not sure how to celebrate when MIL is gone... Hmm.. Run around the house naked?? :wohoo: :rofl:

sashimi - I'm glad to hear you've taken the route that is best for you and your baby. :growlmad: @ the workplace for discrimination!! And it has certainly prove your suspicion for them to ask you to sign papers to make sure you don't sue them. I'm glad that you now dont have to put in those late hours at work and have those unnecessary stress from your workplace. you can truly focus on being healthy and raise a healthy baby! It's also good that you dont' have to deal with that hyena again~!!! :thumbup:

as for the interview they are asking from you. I agree with you dad somewhat as to not burn the bridge. Perhaps take your time on it. Does it need to happen right away? Could they give you a week? By the time you hand over those papers, you are walking out of there being the much bigger person. BUT... since they treated you that way... you absolutely has the right to say no. Because you don't owe them anything!


----------



## lauren26

Sashimi do you HAVE to sign the papers? Is that a requirement in order for them to file in a way that allows you to collect unemployment? If it IS then I would say do the transcription. If not then you're in the clear for whatever feels best.


----------



## SleepyOwl

I must be totally spiteful, but I would totally give them a hard time. Or file some sort of discrimination claim against them. Do you have anything like the EEOC up there in Canada? I'm vengeful. I'm also a lawyer and kind of like giving these *******s a hard time - especially since they did you so wrong! At the end of the day though, if you think the best thing for you to do is do this transcription and that it will make things easier for you down the road in terms of finding another job, then you should. Whatever it takes to make your life easier, less stressful for you and the bean! 

Lxb - I like the running around naked idea. DO IT!!


----------



## treasured

Lol lxb- I think running round the house naked is a great idea! Just do everything you cant do with her there! ;) sorry Ive not been keeping up much! you must be close to testing point? I have absloutley no idea what is going on with my cycle! 

sashimi- I have just read over the last few pages and I cannot even understand how your work has done this... I agree with you in thinking it is very suspicious especially if you had never been previously warned about your performance. I dont know how it works over there but the last company I worked for was unable to 'let someone go' without a previous consultation on employee performance! Unless it was something extremely unacceptable. I feel angered at your colleage who blabbed as well!! But like the other ladies say I think you will find comfort in this time and be able to relax and prepare for what you have waited for so long :D Hope you are feeling well! 

Sleepy- How are you doing!!? Cannot beleive you are 10 weeks already it is amazing how quickly it goes! You been hit by the MS yet? Hope you are also well!

lauren- so sorry I havent been keeping up with things! how is everything going? so glad you are into second tri without any trouble and now you wont have to be worried :D your so close to gender!! are you deffinately going to find out?

country- Your bun is deffinately cooking now hehe! LOVE your bump pic from your journal :) When do you go on maternity leave? You are right that I shouldnt be negative about hardly bedding I forgot it only took lauren once :D Although looking at my chart I have NO idea when and even IF I actually O'd. 

haribo- where art thou? hope you are ok girl!

pino- Hope you are doing okay :) I will probably speak to you later on! 

As for me... I am CD 23 and according to FF I havent O'd. My temps are still low and I do not understand it one bit! Literally no symptoms and it is really funny because now that I am not stressing about TTC I find that I feel NOTHING throughout the month, whereas before I must have been making up my symptoms.. I am guessing that this was an anovulatory cycle but I really hope not because that means things are going in a worse direction than ever UGH. :(. This month has really hit me hard, although I am kind of numb to it all now just because it is the year mark and I never thought it would ever take this long. I also read in the newspaper about a 23 year old lady from down south that was rejected for IVF because of her age. And the reason she couldnt conceive was because of her appendix, which I also had removed. So that freaked me out a bit. 

Anywayy, hope everyone is good!


----------



## lauren26

Treasured - I am sorry your cycle is confusing and that this is coming at the one year mark for you :hugs: Have you decided to try to pursue more testing, or will they not do any more for you because of your age? It's an outrage that the health care system would discriminate based on age!! I hope that if you decide to get treatment or testing that you find whatever you need. Your chart does look like it might be anovulatory, though you haven't had other cycles like that, right?? Seems sudden. I am doing well and am growing (though the jury is still out on whether it's from baby ;)). We will DEF find out the gender. I can't wait! It will be in six weeks I think.


----------



## treasured

lauren- I havent started any more testing no, I am trying to get my head around the fact that it will probably be the start of a long and tiring process which I am not sure that I'm ready for! I've also started a second job so that I can save up more money over the christmas period, so the less stress the better. This month has freaked me out though, I've had no spotting though so that is good. Its deffinately not normal for me, my previous charts have fluctuated a little but never up and down as much as this! Very strange! I'm CD24 so I have no idea when AF will arrive.... Just when you think you are getting on top of things your body makes a crazy move! Its so irritating! Ahh still keeping it a secret?? I thought the gender scan was week 16? I must be too egar haha. So exciting I cant wait to know! Do you have any ideas? xx


----------



## lauren26

I still think it could be girl but yes the gender scan will be 20w. I am excited!!!


----------



## haribo813

Hi everyone, sorry i've not been around. I'm 2 weeks into a new job and it's hard work but going well. 

Sashimi I am really sorry you have gone through this. I was asked to leave my job a few years ago for no money and fought the situation and came away with 9 months pay. Have they made you sign a confidentiality agreement? It is really rubbish that you have had to go through this but I agree with you, I believe things happen for reasons and since I left the law I have had exciting and challenging opportunities come up for me and had a complete career change and finally work for a cause I truly believe in. I understand how demoralising it can be but remember that it's not your fault and it's happened for reasons you'll never properly understand-do not let it knock your confidence or writing style in the slightest. I think you are very inspiring and would make a great person to help with fertility issues-there certainly aren't enough people out there willing to speak up about it and offer advice and a listening ear. I would do whatever you think feels best about writing up the interview-but I would say that I was recently tested about changing jobs and I felt good for coming out the better person and psychologically I think it made me less angry and I didn't need to worry that I'd done the right thing. Having said that, if there's a half way house, like giving them the tape but not writing it up, then maybe that's an idea? 

Treasured I'm not sure what tests you've had done but as I'm in the UK too I just wanted to say that I got a referral from my GP after I'd been trying for 9 months to a fertility clinic. I am not sure that age came into it. It was really simple and they did blood tests and a scan of my ovaries and womb. OH had a sperm test and then they spoke to us about the findings. It was really straightforward and I'm not delighted to have cysts on my ovaries but it points to a hormonal imbalance and I'm now taking chinese herb tea twice a day (which is disgusting by the way!) to get me back in balance combined with acupuncture. There's no guarantee it'll work but it's improving my chances and it's nice to think that someone's giving me a hand. I'd really encourage you to have more tests-knowledge is power and I know how easy it is to stick your head in the sand but I really think knowing if you do or don't have an issue-either way, it will inform you for your next course of action and hopefully help your chances of conceiving healthily.

Lxb I hope you're well. Pino I'm sorry you're sad and feeling deflated, I totally know what you're going through and I'm trying to distract myself too. I went to see one of my best friend's newborns on Friday and my sister's bump is expanding by the day. Hang in there, it's totally unfair but try your best to stay positive and open to it happening one day and look after yourself.

Country, Lauren and Sleepy I hope all of your pregnancies are going well. Great news on the scan Sleepy, am v pleased for you.
xxxx


----------



## lauren26

haribo I am so so glad that your new job is rewarding. There is nothing like a good job! I am also delighted that you're seeing the acupuncturist/herbalist now and that you're taking the gross herbs, lol. I really think that the combination helps immensely and I bet your body will begin to feel differently very soon. Mine really felt better and I was having far less cramping, clotting, and PMS on the herbs. My body felt healthier and better, too. I am praying that it helps you get your much deserved BFP :hugs:


----------



## countrygirl86

First I want to say that I totally agree with Haribo for you Sashimi, you are very inspiring and would be a great fit to help other women struggling with fertility. It'll be nice to see you on BnB more!

Haribo, I'm glad your work is enjoyable! Is there any other way you can get the benefits from the tea? Do they make a pill or something? 

Sleepy - I wish you could come up here and be all lawyery on Sashimi's employer! 

treasured - I have 9 weeks left of work then mat leave! Your last chart had some random spikes too but you O'd a lot earlier. Are you using OPKs?

lauren - I'm feeling girl for you :)

lxb - how are you doing girl? Almost test time?


----------



## lxb

sleepy - :wohoo: will definitely run around the house naked to celebrate mil-les day~ :haha: :haha: how are you doing girl? Have you start taking bump pic?

preg - how are you girl?

treasured - hmm... I'm looking at your chart. It seems you've Oed around cd15/16 for the past few cycles. If you look at your cd16 temp, it's about the same as cd15 temp last cycle. I'm thinking you've Oed on cd16. The temp from cd17-cd20 could be what they called a fallback rise? (I just learned that term). So you _COULD _be 12dpo today! Temp is still way up there!! :dance:

haribo - so glad your new job is going well and rewarding~ Eeek, chinese herbal tea didn't sound very good. A friend of mine had those to balance her yin/yang side for her. And she told me she just held her breath while chucking down the drink :dohh: hope it will help~ are you feeling better from it?

lauren - hope you'll hv good news from the realtor soon~!! :thumbup:

pino - where are you~~~??

country - eek~! only 9 more weeks 'til mat leave!! that's coming right up!! any more progress on the nursery? AF is due Saturday (I guess I now have 13LP?). So I'm thinking to test on Sunday if AF is a no show. I should be 14dpo by then~ :shrug:

sashimi - you have been and will certainly be an inspiration to many others who are struggling with fertility. So glad you have more time for us crazy ladies now~!! :thumbup:


----------



## Pino6161

Hey everyone!! I am here silently LOL. I have been trying to keep my mind off TTC, which is not to hard given everything going on :shrug:

My OH is now officially a permanent resident. He got his card yesterday, and can apply for citizenship July 2015

I just applied for my passport, as we are going to Mexico January 25

We are moving March 25 to Oklahoma.

I visit my family in December. I am half way done with my Christmas shopping.

I am stalking up on stuff for the move.

Other than that I am good. I just ovulated in the last couple days I think, but who knows anymore. I want to go get testing done, but I think it is best to wait just cause if it is a longer process I dont want to have to switch dr's.

IDK hope everyone is ok. LXB I have your chart bookmarked, and you really need to POAS for me. I think I am going through withdrawal hehe


----------



## preg_pilot

Hey guys.
Lots going on these days.
We´re moving into our new apartment, furniture is still in pieces all around us, and our stuff in boxes. Things are slowly finding their places. 
OH has the evening shifts this week, so I´m just hanging around, finding smaller stuff to do by myself. We should be able to do much more next week when he´s on morning shifts.

I have my birthday "party" on sunday (just cake and some close family).

Constipation is not a comfortable thing (to say the least), but it´s getting better these days.

OH has finally agreed on me having a homebirth, after hearing a hospital horror story from his friend who recently delivered :) - the smiley´s not for the horror story, but for OH´s decision :happydance:


----------



## treasured

lxb- you are a charting guru!! love it! I have no idea if I did ovulate then, didnt have any signs :S but I am going with it for now, otherwise id be completely lost :( I dont like not knowing whats going on with my cycle! my temp dipped but then went up a little bit again today! I am cycle day 30 today and this is the longest cycle ive ever had for months!! WEIRD! When are you going to test? Feelng any symptoms? I am PRAYING for your bfp this month :D

As for me I decided to test today as im CD 30, but it was obviously negative. Story of my life! I was a lot less upset than I thoguht I would be seeing as it was the first test Ive done in 3 months. Still no sign of AF but I have no idea how many dpo I am so she might not be due :S I dont understand why my cycle has changed so much suddenly, I'm hoping its not to do with my diet :S. Oh well I guess I willjust need to wait out the witch!


----------



## haribo813

Great news Pino on your OH and fab you have dates for next year panned out-bring on 2013 I say!

Treasured am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

I'm on day 31 but have terrible cramps and have had spotting last 4 days so think I know which way I am headed. I am beginning to think I won't be pregnant when my sis has her 2nd in April which I will find heartbreaking. All I can do is soldier on but a lot of our best friends have kids now so our social baby-less life is starting to feel a bit sad. Can't believe I'm going into my 17th month, I never thought it would come to this.

Sashimi, how are you doing? Hope you're well clear of work and are taking some time out to relax after what you've been through.

xxx


----------



## Pino6161

Well IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!! I have some AMAZING but at the same time shocking news! I'M EXPECTING!!!!! A little under 8 weeks and counting! I know, I'm shocked too. I can hardly believe it myself. I wasn't going to post it in Facebook but since y'all are my family and friends, I wanted to make it official. I'm too overwhelmed to keep it a secret!!! Who would have guessed that me of all people would be expecting.... But I am!! I am expecting Santa in just 8 weeks! Repost if you have a sense of humor. Lets see how many people read the whole status. That's why it's good to read the whole story before you go run & gossip!!!


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## lxb

:dohh: PINO!! You really had me going there!!! Ahhhh!!!! I'm hoping Santa will drop a little surprise for you~~~ :hugs:


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## lauren26

You got me so good!! Dangit!! I hope Santa brings you something sticky :)


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## SashimiMimi

Yeah, I saw Pino's status on FB and I totally fell for it. 

I did a LONG update in my journal so I won't repeat myself here.

Haribo, I've been meaning to send you a note on FB and thank you for your kind words regarding the situation with my job. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has been through such a situation. It's a real kick in the teeth, but it makes me feel better to know that you landed on your feet AND landed somewhere better! :)


----------



## treasured

Lol pino that status is HORRID! I totally believed it when I first read it.

I am out of luck again this month, although I knew it was the case. AF was about 5 days late which gave me a bit of hope but alas it wasnt to be. I think I am going to go to the doctors in the start of the new year because I can't put up with this anymore. I wish I was as positive as you lxb!! :) Sorry to see the EVIL witch got you too :( I know how annoying it is to hear 'next month' but I guess we have to just trudge forward! 

I got taxed 60% of my earnings this month for some reason and it has really screwed me over for the christmas season because I amnt able to get on with my shopping and preperations for christmas :( 

Hope all is well with everyone x


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## lauren26

60%?!?!?! What do you normally get taxed? My tax is 15%!! I suppose you all probably get higher tax because of free health care? That is nuts! I feel you treasured, my company is not giving Christmas bonuses this year, which is something I count on for Christmas shopping.


----------



## Pino6161

For all you pregnant ladies... I saw this thread and had to share!!

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/b...ed-my-daughter-so-doesnt-happen-your-los.html


----------



## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> For all you pregnant ladies... I saw this thread and had to share!!
> 
> https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/b...ed-my-daughter-so-doesnt-happen-your-los.html

Thanks for this Pino :)


----------



## treasured

woahhh this thread is like a ghost town haha!

How is everyone getting on? My new job is ruining my sex drive how do you full time busy ladies fit in BD'ing? :\ I left my thermom at OH's parents house WOOPS so I havent been temping this month... I might use some OPKS around ovulation but I dont know if I have the will power. I need somthing to kick me up the TTC ass because I seem to have given up :(. 

pino- Hope you got my facebook message let me know when your on! x


----------



## SashimiMimi

It is a ghost town, I guess maybe this is the end of our little crazy thread with everyone having their own journals now? I still think about all of you ladies every day and for those in the US happy thanksgiving!


----------



## preg_pilot

I hope our crazy lady thread doesn´t die.
I guess most people are just busy with life these days, what with moving/thanksgiving/christmas approaching and some such things?


----------



## lxb

Happy Turkey Day to people in US!

I miss you crazy ladies. :hugs:


----------



## countrygirl86

Hope you Americans had a great Thanksgiving! I've missed you all, been off for a couple of weeks while my boss was away (which makes me the boss). It is sad to see it go quiet on here but I think of you all! Christmas is coming and I'm hoping for lovely presents for everyone :)


----------



## lxb

Hoping for some Holiday BFPs~! :thumbup:

country - hope work was okay for you~~ Can't believe you're 30 weeks already~!

time seems to be flying by huh? it's almost 2013!!! :shock:

treasured - just checked your chart~ looks like cd16 for you today? Do you think your'e Oing?


----------



## lauren26

I am here too! I miss you ladies as well :hugs: Big news week for us as we are having the anatomy scan this week and finding out how our home appraisal went! I got my genetics tests results this morning--all negative, so that's good. 

How is everyone?!


----------



## preg_pilot

lauren26 said:


> I am here too! I miss you ladies as well :hugs: Big news week for us as we are having the anatomy scan this week and finding out how our home appraisal went! I got my genetics tests results this morning--all negative, so that's good.
> 
> How is everyone?!


Wow, have fun at the anatomy scan :)
Good news on the results :hugs:

Doing good. Over 31 weeks, and the wait is getting shorter.
Next appointment at 34 weeks.
Hypnobirthing studies are underway, a wedding in 2 weeks and the move is almost done.


----------



## treasured

lxb- I THINK I may have O'd on CD16.... I had slight cramps, but havnt been temping so unsure :( I have had a sore stomach on and off for a few days but amn't counting any chickens haha. where are you with your cycle just now?? 

lauren- SO glad everything went well at the genetics scan that is another milestone and reasurance that your bean is growing perfectly :D when are you finding out gender it must be soon!!? 

Sorry I haven't been on here much I am currently working two jobs and me and OH are in the process of trying to buy our first place so there is a lot of stress atm! TTC isnt getting much of my time as I think once we are settled in a new place and have a new doctor I am going to get the ball rolling with appointments and tests etc. I am still following all of your journals when I can and I'm glad everyone is doing well :) Won't be long till theres baby pictures in there :D! xxx


----------



## lauren26

treasured I'm so glad that you're going to get testing and excited that you're buying a house!! I find out the gender on Friday--eee!!! What are your two jobs?? Will you only work one job soon?

I was supposed to find out about our home appraisal last night or this morning and I STILL have no information--argghg!!!! It is the last step before the house is ours and I am sooooo impatient :blush:

How is everyone else??


----------



## lxb

treasured - cramps are great signs~! buying a house is definitely an exciting chapter of life~!!! have you guys found a place yet? or hunting now?

lauren - have you heard of the ramzi method??? a fellow bnb buddy mentioned it in her journal~!! I'm trying to look at your 6-8week scan pic and i have NO idea which way is top or bottom! :haha: :dohh:


----------



## lauren26

Ramzi?? Is it the head shape thing?


----------



## lxb

no~ it sees which side the baby is on. studies showed it's 90%+ accurate :shrug:



https://i1232.photobucket.com/albums/ff371/alsestis/Ultrasound%20Gender%20Prediction/kamra_us.jpg


----------



## lxb

looking back at your scan pic.. maybe it's a girl? :haha: i guess we shall see~ :thumbup: I had no idea which side is top/bottom to determine if it's on right/left~ :haha:


----------



## lauren26

Wha??? Where is that scan pic?! I will look it up on my photobucket.


----------



## lauren26

https://i1263.photobucket.com/albums/ii633/laurendartt/6w0dpic.jpg
https://i1263.photobucket.com/albums/ii633/laurendartt/Untitled_zpsf992c151.jpg

They are both on the right in these! Maybe it is girl. Wow, 90%??


----------



## lxb

I guess we'll see on Friday? :shrug:

article link: [link]

Ramzis method is using placenta /chorionic villi location as a marker for fetal gender detection at 6 weeks gestation was found to be highly reliable. This method correctly predicts the fetus gender in 97.2% of males and 97.5% of females early in the first trimester. And it might be helpful to use as a genetic soft marker in relation with fetal pyelectasis.
​


----------



## SashimiMimi

Gahhh! Mine is on the right too but I'm so certain I'm having a boy!! Maybe those dreams I've been having about pink gender reveal cupcakes might come true!? Eek!!


----------



## lxb

SashimiMimi said:


> Gahhh! Mine is on the right too but I'm so certain I'm having a boy!! Maybe those dreams I've been having about pink gender reveal cupcakes might come true!? Eek!!

you could be one of the odds~~ :thumbup:

how's everyone doing? Christmas is coming up~~~~ :xmas2:


----------



## lauren26

Sashimi I literally LOLed at your reaction!! There is that 10% chance, like lxb said. When is your gender scan?

I am excited for Christmas!! Though I have not done any shopping at all and have no decorations up since we'll probably move. Lxb do you make other treats aside from cookies?


----------



## lxb

lauren - perhaps moving to the new house will be your christmas present~!! :thumbup: Aside from cookies, i've made cream brulee... crepe cake.. cheese cake... truffle... mochi.. flan.... Mmm.... ~~ I'm making myself drool just thinking about desserts~ :shy:

thinking of making gingerbread cookie again this year along with maybe peanut brittle or truffle/fudge


----------



## SashimiMimi

I've heard a lot about the Ramzi method, but figured that since doctor's never bring it up it is more or less one of those fun gender prediction things that is a little more scientific than the ring test of cabbage test. 

Also, I wonder in my own case since the embryo was implanted manually and not naturally would I really count as someone who accurately fits the Ramzi theory?

I've honestly had about 3 or so dreams where I make blue gender reveal cupcakes and then everyone goes to eat them and they are pink. I'm always shocked by this and I've had one or two other dreams where we get the gender scan and its a girl, and both OH and I are shocked.

At this point, and especially after seeing such a clear 12w scan, we WOULD be shocked if it did turn out to be a girl. I really do feel in my heart that it's a boy. But healthy baby is the most important thing!

I went to OH's work holiday party last night. I didn't get to bed until 1 a.m. and I am exhausted today. I can't even get out of bed, I have a mega headache and my throat feels scratchy. Well, one more reason to be thankful I'm not at my annoying job anymore. It's nice being able to rest when I feel the need to rest. 

I'm getting really excited for the holidays. I've been an absolute grinch the past couple of years and this year I just feel really into it. There was a sprinkling of snow last night and it has gotten very cold, but the snow didn't stick. It's been a long time since we had a white Christmas in Toronto, so I'm hoping that this year we do!


----------



## preg_pilot

Had a slightly productive day today.
Assembled a shelf, emptied a few boxes and loaded 3 washing machines :)
A.t.m. I have a chicken broiling in the oven, just waiting for OH to come home (which should be in an hour and a half).
Our place is almost starting to resemble a home now.
I´m kinda glad OH decided to accept the extra shift he got tonight. Whenever he gets home we both go into lazy mode, so nothing much gets done.


----------



## SashimiMimi

treasured said:


> lxb- I THINK I may have O'd on CD16.... I had slight cramps, but havnt been temping so unsure :( I have had a sore stomach on and off for a few days but amn't counting any chickens haha. where are you with your cycle just now??
> 
> lauren- SO glad everything went well at the genetics scan that is another milestone and reasurance that your bean is growing perfectly :D when are you finding out gender it must be soon!!?
> 
> Sorry I haven't been on here much I am currently working two jobs and me and OH are in the process of trying to buy our first place so there is a lot of stress atm! TTC isnt getting much of my time as I think once we are settled in a new place and have a new doctor I am going to get the ball rolling with appointments and tests etc. I am still following all of your journals when I can and I'm glad everyone is doing well :) Won't be long till theres baby pictures in there :D! xxx

Treasured!!! I totally missed this post. I'm excited that you and OH are looking for your first place. It's such a stressful thing, but also exciting! Once you find the place and are all settled it, the hassle is totally worth it. 

Also sounds like a great plan to see the new doctor once you are settled. I know in my own case it just got the the point where I actually hoped something was wrong with me so I could have the tests done and they could fix it. I think it most cases it's usually a very easy fix, so that all sounds like a great plan! xoxoxo


----------



## SashimiMimi

Hey Preg_Pilot, how is your bird doing? Still in quarantine?


----------



## lauren26

Sashimi take good care of yourself!! That sounds like a rough, late night for a pregnant woman. I bet your gut is correct--it is most of the time with gender. Do you think you'll do gender reveal cupcakes IRL?? I want to but don't know what venue...I am jealous of your snow dusting!!!

lxb - The house would DEFINITELY be the only Christmas gift I need! Not to mention baby. Your treats sound sooooo good and once again I must request that you drop by my house and share! :haha:


----------



## SashimiMimi

Oh I am going to do the gender reveal cupcakes no matter what. I've had a craving for them ever since Country posted the recipe! 

I probably won't even be able to keep it a surprise if we do know before Christmas, but I might do them just to celebrate the baby. 

Also, when we are in NYC I want to go to that famous toy store FAO Schwarz and buy a little gift for the baby. I have held off on buying anything!


----------



## Pino6161

It has been a really long time since I posted.

I have really been trying to keep myself busy, which has not been hard with the holidays here. 

Thanksgiving was pretty much a disaster. My MIL drove me nuts. I am leaving in a couple weeks to Oklahoma, and I am getting kind of nervous. Me and my mom sometimes have issues at such a close proximity. :shrug:

I am trying to stay away from TTC but this month is really getting on my nerves. AF started October 15. I have not been temping or anything. Yes, that means I am CD46!!! All tests are negative!! I took my temp this morning trying to see if I am pre O or post O. It was really low at 96.9. This is the longest cycle I have had in probably 2.5 years. In the last 7 cycles or so my longest cycle was in March at 37 days. I am so confused and frustrated.

I have already started packing for the move and have 4 boxes done. Baby steps. One is full of new clothes for OH one is linens with new towels, my afghans etc. One has my nic-nacs and my collection of angels. The last is a tiny little box of all our shot glasses :thumbup:

My Christmas shopping is about half way done out of

10 people in Oh's family I have 5 done

and

7 people in my family I have 4 done.

I only have 2 more paychecks to finish up. Hopefully this week I can finish. We will see though.


I have been watching everyone's journals from afar. The holidays are a really hard time for me as it is the 3rd Christmas without an announcement :shrug: I did not forget about any of you, I promise :hugs:


----------



## treasured

sashimi- Thanks :D We are really excited but it is difficult and so much more responsibility than renting! I am actually looking forward to getting the ball rolling with the doctors although I hope I will not get a lot of stick for my age which would result in them not testing me quickly! How far away is your gender scan? Are you still having symptoms ie MS or is that gone completely now? :)

pino- :( cant beleive AF STILL hasnt showed. I dont understand how you can be having pre O temps, it is so strange! Talk to me on FB later if your on :) xxx


----------



## treasured

I also forgot to mention that my drama group cast our latest show and TYPICALLY I got the part of the pregnant lady! Pregnant after a one night stand might I add. IRONIC I think! I think it is quite funny at the moment but I am slightly in fear of when I have to strap on a fake bump and parade around looking pregnant.... Dont know how easy its going to be... :\


----------



## preg_pilot

SashimiMimi said:


> Hey Preg_Pilot, how is your bird doing? Still in quarantine?

Nope, she´s finally out, and extremely happy about it :)
Everything seems to be fast-forwarding these days. Going out with my "little" brother tomorrow for his birthday for dinner and a movie. (I say "little" because he´s almost 2 meters tall and 23 years old tomorrow). Wedding is only 11 days away (though it is in no way a big thing). Christmas not long after that (we don´t really celebrate christmas, just spending time with family is enough for us), and then only a month until little one will be here.
Phew.

Most of our stuff is in place now, just a couple of boxes left, and some storage stuff at my mom´s and OH´s parents place.


----------



## preg_pilot

Hey guys. Hopefully this´ll spread some baby dust over ya :)


----------



## lauren26

Too cute!


----------



## lxb

preg - Ah~~ your little baby boy is smiling for the picture~~

treasured - eek to the pregnant role. perhaps this will spread some bfp dust and it will become real for you~ :thumbup:

pino - did you get more christmas shopping done??


----------



## Pino6161

Lxb--- Yep almost all of it is done. Just 3 more. The one for my sister i will get in Oklahoma, one tomorrow cause that's when the movie comes out. My brother's I am waiting until next paycheck. LOL Everyone else is done :D


----------



## haribo813

Hey everyone, glad everyone's doing well. Not much to report here, new job going well but pretty hard work. I''ve been really good recently but feeling a bit down today.

I'm getting a bit fed up with shelling out lots of cash for Chinese herbs and acupuncture, that coupled with my strict diet and not really seeing any improvements makes me wonder why I'm bothering. And how did I get to be in this ridiculous situation anyway?

It's my sis' 20 week scan tomorrow. Can't believe it's already at this stage. I'm going to be spending Christmas and new year with a bunch of pregnant people and not sure I can cope. I'm thinking of bailing on a Saturday night party for that reason-it's the group that all got married this year and are all pregnant. Sorry to put a downervous on things but I'm going to be 32 at the youngest before I have a baby now and it really gets me down. We've come back from a weekend away with 3 babies too.I feel totally helpless and not sure any more that my time will ever come. I don't resent anyone their babies but just can't work out why my stupid body can't do it.


----------



## preg_pilot

haribo813 said:


> Hey everyone, glad everyone's doing well. Not much to report here, new job going well but pretty hard work. I''ve been really good recently but feeling a bit down today.
> 
> I'm getting a bit fed up with shelling out lots of cash for Chinese herbs and acupuncture, that coupled with my strict diet and not really seeing any improvements makes me wonder why I'm bothering. And how did I get to be in this ridiculous situation anyway?
> 
> It's my sis' 20 week scan tomorrow. Can't believe it's already at this stage. I'm going to be spending Christmas and new year with a bunch of pregnant people and not sure I can cope. I'm thinking of bailing on a Saturday night party for that reason-it's the group that all got married this year and are all pregnant. Sorry to put a downervous on things but I'm going to be 32 at the youngest before I have a baby now and it really gets me down. We've come back from a weekend away with 3 babies too.I feel totally helpless and not sure any more that my time will ever come. I don't resent anyone their babies but just can't work out why my stupid body can't do it.

:hugs:
If there really is no problem, it will happen eventually.
Relax, try to enjoy the life you have at the moment, because once you do get pregnant, everything changes.
:hugs:

p.s. I hope I don´t sound condescending.


----------



## lauren26

haribo813 said:


> Hey everyone, glad everyone's doing well. Not much to report here, new job going well but pretty hard work. I''ve been really good recently but feeling a bit down today.
> 
> I'm getting a bit fed up with shelling out lots of cash for Chinese herbs and acupuncture, that coupled with my strict diet and not really seeing any improvements makes me wonder why I'm bothering. And how did I get to be in this ridiculous situation anyway?
> 
> It's my sis' 20 week scan tomorrow. Can't believe it's already at this stage. I'm going to be spending Christmas and new year with a bunch of pregnant people and not sure I can cope. I'm thinking of bailing on a Saturday night party for that reason-it's the group that all got married this year and are all pregnant. Sorry to put a downervous on things but I'm going to be 32 at the youngest before I have a baby now and it really gets me down. We've come back from a weekend away with 3 babies too.I feel totally helpless and not sure any more that my time will ever come. I don't resent anyone their babies but just can't work out why my stupid body can't do it.

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Haribo I really, really feel for you. It's incredibly frustrating that they've kind of told you what's going on but haven't offered many solutions. Have you been back to the doc since you got checked out? I just can't believe that they wouldn't offer some kind of option to help you get pregnant. Maybe there is a different doc you can go to? It can be so stressful going to doctors and having tests run etc but I know I absolutely wouldn't have been able to get pregnant without medical help. I totally don't blame you for wanting to avoid pregnant people around the holidays. This time of year is stressful enough as it is without having the constant reminder. We are here for you. I am praying that some answers or help come to you soon.


----------



## Pino6161

Preg--- Ok I am not trying to be rude at all I promise.... But your comment

"If there really is no problem, it will happen eventually.
Relax, try to enjoy the life you have at the moment, because once you do get pregnant, everything changes.
p.s. I hope I don´t sound condescending."

was def. condescending. Did you forget what it was like to try before you got pregnant. You were just a desperate as the rest of us even though you didn't try as long. As for being pregnant changes everything, that is kind of the point. All I am trying to say is that don't forget you were one of "us" just a couple months ago.

Haribo--- The holidays are hard, I know that for a fact. Hang in there and try to be strong. We are here for you :hugs:


----------



## lxb

ttc can be a frustrating process. the longer it goes.. the harder it gets. especially the type of vision we have when we're ttcing. we tend to notice babies and pregnant women.

i know preg_pilot is trying to help trying to comfort haribo by saying it will happen eventually. she's right. we do need to try to relax and enjoy each and everyday. we too often get blinded of our 'wants' and things we don't really have control over and it's all that we can think about. and it certainly can suck all the energy out of what we have left.

preg is certainly one of the lucky ones that got it on the first try and it's hard to understand the disappointment after disappointment... cycle after cycle.

at the end of the day... I'm grateful that I'm healthy and be battling ttc and not a serious health related issue. and that we have this crazy lady thread we can use for mental support.

haribo, i probably would bail on the party too. please take care. :hugs:


----------



## treasured

haribo- I am sorry you are feeling this way... I have felt the same for the last few cycles it just feels like everything I try seems to be useless and therefore I feel like I have wasted/am wasting so much of my time. I agree that relaxing SHOULD be a priority but in reality I know how you feel and it is not as easily done as it is said. It almost feels to me like a race that cant be won no matter how fast you are going. Like a marathon you can train, adjust yourself and try to do everything in your power to succeed but in the end if the finishing line keeps moving further back we wont reach the end.... feels that way to me anyway. And I know how awful the word 'eventually' seems when it already feels like an eternity. 

I feel awful being down in the dumps in this thread, It was easier when we were all grumbling together haha! 

I think you should avoid the baby related events too, its time to be selfish and eat 20 mince pies/ chocolate puddings. 

lxb- how are you? what CD are you you must be quite close to me! any signs or symptoms? :)

pino- :hug:


----------



## SashimiMimi

One of the most upsetting things that anyone said to me during LTTTC was to just relax. It would be great if it were possible, but when you are trapped in a body that betrays you month after month, relaxing is near impossible. All of us who have been through it wonder what is wrong with our bodies while everyone around us gets to snap their fingers and start their families.

I had dinner with that woman who I bumped into at my clinic not too long ago and she put it best: a watched pot never boils, but when the stove isn't working that pot will never boil. So Preg while I know your heart is in the right place, please be mindful of those who struggle. I know that I'll never be able to get a BFP naturally, but I'm thankful that my doctor found a solution that actually worked. 

Haribo I don't blame you for wanting to avoid pregnant people. I felt the exact same way! I agree with Lauren and wonder if there are other doctors you can approach. I've met women IRL who went to 3 or 4 fertility specialists until they found the right one. It's exhausting, but I just can't believe they would send you away with no solutions. I know there is a fix out there for you.

Pino I'm excited about your move. I also hope you find a great doctor in your new city who can help. The long cycle you described sounds frustrating. Xoxoxo


----------



## preg_pilot

Pino and Haribo - sorry for my insensitive comment...


----------



## lxb

treasured - i don't have any unusual symptoms~ just the same old same old~ ah~~ i feel unease when i can't stalk your temp or pino's temp! :dohh: how about you? i'm sure you've been busy with everything else and not spend so much time symptom spotting right? hope things are going well for you :hugs:

pino - counting down to moving time~~ exciting!! I still have to get my christmas presents ready! Planning to bake some presents~ :haha:

can't believe it's end of 2012 already!! felt like the year has flown by fast.

hope you ladies have a happy holiday~ maybe this new year bring only positives to your lives~ :hugs:


----------



## haribo813

Hi ladies, thank you so much for your kind words, you are so sweet and i can't tell you how much it means.

I am so up and down. My period's due on monday and a lot of my frustration at the moment is borne out of the clinic treating me making me feel less positive about my cycle when i come out than when i go in. I don't doubt the herbs are good and i know they take a while to work but i am spending a lot of money and making big sacrifices not just with usual caffeine and alcohol but also on doctor's advice cutting out dairy, bread and eating low gi carbs and a lot of veg, fish and fruit in a bid to reduce my polycystic ovaries. Plus i'm so busy at work that i don't feel i have the time or the energy to look into finding someone new-maybe in the new year.

It is very upsetting. I think it's true that it's very hard to relax completely. Most of the time i feel like i am but i usually get upset at least a few times a month and i know i am sensitive to baby issues, it's hard not to be when you decided 17 cycles ago that you were ready for a child, time is ticking on and you have nothing when everyone else seems toget it so easily and not even really care that much! It also makes you feel like an utter failure and knocks your confidence. You put it so right sashimi about your body betraying you.

lauren i've been to the doctors since being diagnosed and there's nothing they can give me to treat the P.O (i don't have the syndrome). It's hard to shift as it takes time and quite a lot of effort so i'm not holding my breath for results any time soon (i still cry when the temp drops every month of course). So think i can only wait until next aug for ivf...throw myself into my job and keep going. i got upset yesterday as saw a load of school friends on FB all with 3 kids-what have i been doing with myself? Fyi the duchess of cambridge being pregnant is not helping-the british press are all over it non stop. Poor thing being only 8 weeks allegedly and having to announce that to the world though.

Preg, apology absolutely accepted. I think it's important to remember that everyone is looking at the same issue but from slightly different perspectives and experiences and as the others say, telling someone to relax can sound a bit like telling someone to chill out when they've lost the plot. I'm sure you didn't mean to sound in any way condescending-you are just looking at pregnancy from a very different perspective to me. I think the only advantage of struggling when ttc is that you are well prepared for all the changes that pregnancy brings as you are so grateful to be given the opportunity-you won't hear any complaining from me if it ever happens! :) Lxb you're right that we are so lucky to have each other and to be healthy and with brilliant partners, i am a shadow of my self without my DH at my side.

Hugs to everyone and thanks for picking me back up, you're great friends.
Xxxxxxxx


----------



## haribo813

Ps i have also given up sugar and any kind of snacks! You can imagine how unmanageabke this diet is in the run up to christmas, and to maintain any kind of social life without looking like a freak, i have ended up telling more people about my issues than i have wanted to...

Treasured you might find the baby making bible book useful? It suggests eating different foods/doing different exercise at various stages of cycles depending on what kind of type of persn ou are. I am also reading the art of happiness, a buddhist book with insights from the dalai lama about lots of things but particularly how to try and stay positive when life gets you down. They both sound a but silly probably but both helped me to look at my situation a bit differently. I think losing perspective is a real problem with ttc. Everyone's different so suggest you keep trying something new if you're feeling down and try to be the best person you can be-easier to say than do of course but hope this in some small way helps. Have you been able to have the day 3 and day 19 blood tests yet? I found those really useful. Xx


----------



## lauren26

haribo I'm so glad you've found support in that book!! I think spiritual reading is really all that's gotten me through the worst times, and amazing friends like the ladies here! Once I found out I had severe endo and even after surgery I went on an INSANE diet for endo and I also had to explain a lot more than cared to to people assuming I was pregnant because I wasn't drinking instead of guessing that I had an awful chronic disease! It was awkward but after telling several people I actually felt less stigmatized about my situation and heard more and more from others that they knew someone with a similar issue or someone with an equally difficult issue. I hope that you're able to be met with support IRL when you tell people. You can always come to us, too :) 

PS FB always makes me feel like a failure because I'm not a big-shot marketing exec living in Belgium like my high school classmates, lol. Then I realize that I've made it in other ways that they may not have. I feel exactly as you do about my DH.


----------



## treasured

haribo- thank you for the advice I will deffinately have a look into those books! I think with trying to buy our first place/working 7 days a week I have lost sight of TTC a little, although when we are settled and ready I will begin processes with the doctors to see if there is anything they can do :) I am also not dealing with the constant press about Kate and Wills! I was literally reading in the news that she may be suffering from infertility, and the next thing you know shes pregnant. Although its been 15 months since the royal wedding so depending on when they started trying she may have been going through the same hell we are! 

not long till christmas!! :) hope all is well! x


----------



## treasured

Hi ladies! So I am 3 days late if I am counting the days from a 28 day cycle? No idea when I o'd but if it was CD16 then im over my luteal phase bu atleast 2 daus. Litearly no symptoms or signs so if im not pregnant which I doubt I am I have no idea what is going on with these bloody cycles!! Might buy a cheap test tomorow if I have time but I just cant even be botherd with a negative :( 

Just a question for the pregnant ladies, did you ever have vaginal swelling in the early stages during sex? It's probably just randomly happened to me but ive never has it before haha sonthing new to stress over!! Xxxxxx


----------



## lxb

:dust: :dust: :dust: 
:dust: :dust: :dust: 
:dust: :dust: :dust:


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## lauren26

treasured - Fx for you!!!! Did you test? I did not, but I wasn't having too much sex since I was still really fresh from surgery and had gotten scared by the IB. Can't wait to hear!!!


----------



## Pino6161

Hey everyone!! I am CD 58 with lots of BFN's my Dr appt is not until Tuesday, so I have to wait impatiently.... My breasts are a bit sore for about 2 days now, it's been a while since they got sore maybe 4 or 5 cycles. Hopefully this means AF, but my nipples are kind of sore and sensitive, which is new to me. On top of everything I am having trouble sleeping, not for the normal reason of thinking to much, but because I can't comfortable.

On another note I was at my aunt's for a couple of days to dog sit and keep and eye on the kids.... Well she has a puppy that is almost a year old. While I was there she ate and drank but not much and I figured it was cause they were gone.... Well it turns out that she has parvo, and I feel like shit cause I didn't see it :cry:

SIL comes on Friday, so it will be a LONG day as we are going to Nogales....

Hope everyone is having fun getting ready for the holidays!!!

Treasured--- TEST!!!!!!


----------



## lxb

treasure - did you test??????????????

pino - is it monday yet???? :haha:


----------



## Pino6161

Treasured's AF came :cry:

I WISH it was Monday LMAO but on the other hand we get paid Friday, so I don't want to skip it LOL


----------



## lxb

damn AF https://www.emoticonswallpapers.com/emotion/super-cute-onion/super-onion-smiley-097.gif

:hugs: treasure~~ 

Is it Friday yet then? :haha:

Eek... I have to make some fondant this weekend! And prep some buttercream too~~~ Making my niece's bday cake! (her party is on the 22nd ... her actual birthday is dec 30th though).


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## countrygirl86

Sorry I've been MIA ladies.

Haribo - only go where you feel comfortable. You have been through and are going through a lot and my heart goes out to you. You have great strength and restraint with your diet! Have you 'cheated' at all?

treasured - I'm so sorry AF got you. I had one cycle that was my longest to date and I was totally symptom spotting so when AF came I was crushed. It may be irrelevant now (but may be relevant later) but I don't recall swelling during sex but it did go kinda purpley/bluey down there about 10 days after conception (before I found out). 

Pino - 58 days is ridiculous. Do you think you've O'd? I'm hoping it's positive news at your doctor's appointment. What is Nogales? 

lxb - Ooh how do you make fondant? With marshmallows? How are you designing her cake?

I hope the Christmas/holiday season is finding everyone in bright spirits. We all have to be thankful we found each other this year and we all have a great round of partners. I have faith we will all end up with our goal though the journey to get there will be different for all of us and more difficult for some. I'm getting ready to pack it up at work, my maternity leave starts January 4! We had our baby shower a few weeks ago and are busy preparing for the baby. Oh and Christmas! I have been totally preoccupied this year and need to do some serious shopping! Hope you are all more prepared than I am!

:xmas1::xmas2::xmas6::xmas10::xmas16:


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## Pino6161

Nogales is Arizona's border town to Mexico. There is a Nogales, Arizona, and Mexico, I am going to both LOL. It is now 60 days. a whole month late...

I have been reading a lot on google about woman who don't get positive HPT's until 9 weeks, and some never get them.

The longer my cycle goes on the more my hopes go up. I mean I am a month late, it's supposed to be a good thing right??


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## SashimiMimi

Long AF cycles are such a tease. Treasured, I'm sorry AF got you! *Hugs* But I think I saw on FB that you and OH bought a place!?!? That is really exciting! 

Pino a 60 day cycle is nuts and you must be so frustrated. I hope the doctor can shed some light on what's going on this coming Monday. Wish I could come to the appointment with you and hold your hand! 

Country I'm really excited for the holidays. I'm excited to go to NYC next week and see all the decorations and just spend some quality time with OH. It doesn't look like we are going to get any snow in Toronto this year, but maybe the forecast will change. It's been pretty mild for December. 

How is everyone else?


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## Pino6161

Thanks guys!! It really is frustrating!! But I am also getting kind of hopeful, I have been taking my temps the last week or so and they are all post O temps. It went down yesterday, but right back up today, so IDK

By the way my facebook is not working at all. My OH's and in-laws are fine, just not mine. It's really irritating me LOL


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## lxb

treasured - is it true?? that's so exciting~~~ :dance:

country - yep~ marshmallow fondant~ Hoping to premake some stuff this weekend so I can spend the weekday premaking some flowers for her cake! A little nervous as I've never tried to cover a cake with fondant before :wacko:

pino - It's Friday!! Means Monday is almost here~~ :thumbup: did you put your temp in the chart? I feel so unease knowing you temp but i couldn't see the chart! :haha: I'm such a chart addict/stalker!


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## Pino6161

I love the fact that the moment I decide to have a little hope AF shows. Don't get me wrong I am disappointed, but I am also relieved as it has been so long. Mostly though I feel acceptance that it just may never happen.

As for my chart. I manually out stuff in. The coverline is the highest coverline of all my past temping.... https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3ce78d

What a way to start my weekend


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## lxb

:dohh: :dohh: perhaps the little bean(s) want to be conceive in Oklahoma? :thumbup:


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## Pino6161

If OH was with me LMAO... Unless I am the next virgin Mary hehehe...


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## SashimiMimi

:( Pino is OH not going to Oklahoma as well??


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## Pino6161

No...He has to work, it really sucks, but we are going on a short vacation to his home town is Mexico in January. I'm going up there to sort things out for our move... He is talking about if he gets a good chunk of time off he might drive up, but I really doubt it as X mas is right in the middle of their busy season


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## haribo813

Sorry pino, it's still crushing when you get your period even if you sometimes feel like you've accepted its coming. Please don't accept that it's never going to happen for you though. The first few days are always the worst so try to bear in mind you won't be feeling quite as bad forever. I got mine on Monday and was pretty upset. It seems so unfair to make such sacrifices for nothing. I've also had a friend who's 7 months pregnant with her second staying with us this week. But I ditched the party last Sat-just as well as I started to get spotting and couldn't face it. For the first time ever I'm really keen to get Christmas out of the way and start again in 2013, hoping it's a better year. I don't cheat much on my diet, have pretty much given up dairy, bread, sugar and not had caffeine or alcohol for long time but of course I can't completely stick to it at this time of year. Have good weeks everyone-hope fondant icing goes well lxb. I'm making presents for most of family this year. Xxx


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## lauren26

Pino, is your OH living apart from you just temporarily?? So you won't get to spend Xmas together?


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## treasured

Hey ladies,

Yes I was very annoyed to get AF this month because it was my longest cycle since I started charting! 32 days... grr. It seems like the minute I think of testing I get AF, although OH convinced me to wait till I was a week late to buy a test so atleast I didnt waste money on it. Cant compare it to Pino though I am so sorry girl that you got AF buy like I said on FB atleast you can move on from here and we are now cycle buddies LOL.

And YESSSS EVERYONE We have been accepted on our offer and now (fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly) and we will be moving into our own place mid febuary :D 
So exciting! But we are preparing to be quite skint for a while, so atleast I dont have a LO to be paying for right at this moment.... atleast this will now provide the base for our home and we can start figuring out our problem and try to deal with it at the doctors. 

lxb - mmmm marshmallow fondant sounds SO good! please ship some over to me :D 

I cant believe its been like 6 months since our crazy lady BFPs began! HURRY UP ME I WANT TO CATCH UP! x


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## SashimiMimi

Alright ladies, I need to vent. My Saturday was completely ruined because of a ridiculous prank. Do I ever have a story to share!

Yesterday OH received an anonymous package at his office that was sent through regular mail. There was no return address, but the postage marking showed it had come from Vancouver. OH pulled off the brown paper and inside was a nicely wrapped Christmas gift instructing OH not to open it until Xmas day. No indication on who it was from or what could be in the box.

OH brought it home and I had an uneasy feeling about it since we didn't know who it was from. FIL already sent a parcel to our house and we assumed OH's other siblings would also send any packages to our house, as well as identify themselves. Also, OH's bio is on his company website so anyone could look him up and find his office address.

So I decided to open it alone and I told OH I would wrap it back up and not say what it was. I just needed to know what was in the mysterious package. I unwrap it and inside is a rectangular tin, I lift the lid of the tin and laying on top is a paper towel with "R.I.P." written in marker on it and a leaf taped below. Feeling rather confused and creeped out, I lift the paper towel and underneath is a bunch of rocks and in the middle is some sort of small object wrapped tightly in more paper towel and a ziploc bag. To me it looked like it could be a dead bird or some other type of small dead animal, so I have a meltdown and start screaming for OH. Here we have an anonymous package, sent from an unidentified person, and its a tin that says RIP inside with something morbid looking wrapped in plastic surrounded by rocks!! It looked like a mini coffin, so I don't know what I was supposed to think but I felt terrified!

OH immediately takes it away from me and admits he is also now very freaked out. He was too scared to open it and with all the crazy stuff happening in the news this week, we didn't want to take any chances and open it only to find something dead or toxic. So we call our neighbors for help. We knocked on the door and called them and it was the one time they were not home. By this point I want to call the police but OH thinks that extreme as its not an emergency. I came up with all these conspiracy theories like its someone that had done business with his company and was upset and perhaps wanted to hurt him. He has a serial killer stalking him. Or maybe it was his long ago ex gf who got pg after missing one pill, found out about my pregnancy and went berserk! 

I called my dad to ask for advice but as soon as he answered, I burst into tears. OH got on the phone and my dad urged us to call the cops. So I called the local division and explained what had happened and they assured me we did the right thing by calling and not take any chances. 

Within minutes two police officers arrived at our house. We had left the package on our front steps i case it was something awful inside. When they saw it they were visibly very freaked and put gloves on to open it. It was a gag from someone in OH's family!! Inside was a carved wooden hand and there is a long story behind this hand... It's something that OH's dad bought in Hawaii 15 years ago because the thought it was a beautiful carving. The family thought it was creepy and weird and there has been a tradition ever since to give it in OH's family as a Xmas gift. Usually it is given in a game of secret Santa and it is this big inside joke with his family. Never is it supposed to be mailed to anyone in a Dexter tv show fashion!!

When OH explained that he knew the hand came from his family, they were relieved but said they take anonymous packages very seriously. I was very apologetic for bothering the, but they assured is it is better to call than have it be something truly awful.

So by this point OH is livid and immediately assumes it must be one of his teenage nephews who was the culprit. He sent a group email to his entire family stating how upsetting the gag was. How we had called friends of his in Vancouver, people in his Vancouver office trying to see who would send something like this to us. When no one knew anything about it, we felt threatened and called the police. It caused so much stress for both OH and I and while we know the intention of the gag was in good humor and not meant to be malicious, it was not funny at all.

Within and hour OH's oldest sister who is in her 50s emailed and said it was her and her husband that had sent it and they were truly sorry that the joke had backfired. We actually saw them last weekend as they had a layover in Toronto on their way to a vacation destination. They were the last ones in the family that either of us would have suspected to pull such a weird prank! I think they could have sent the hand in a normal package, said it was from them and it would have been funny. But they way they did it just seemed really inconsiderate and upsetting to me.

So we got nothing done all day. I had planned on finishing my Xmas shopping and going to buy groceries, but I was so shaken up. Maybe I overreacted because of my pregnancy hormones, but I am relieved that it was not anything malicious in the end. It would have been a lot worse if it had been something dead or poisonous from someone trying to hurt OH! But can you imagine if I had waiting until Xmas day to open it and we called the police?? Xmas would have been ruined!!

Oh well, I guess this means I can now official join in on some of the in-law drama that many of the crazy ladies tend to vent about in here!


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## lxb

OMG sashimi! that is SO not funny!!!! So glad you opened it else it would pretty much ruined Christmas!! :growlmad: :growlmad: 

:hugs: so sorry to hear about the prank~ hope you've recovered from it now~ :hugs: as it's Babymoon time~!! :dance: :dance:

pino - Ehh.. you'll be spending christmas w/o OH??

treasured - I shall make the fondant tonight!! Kept on putting it off as I have a huuuge list of things to do!! :dohh: Should really make it tonight though~~

C'mon BFP~! Holiday BFPs.. Please show yourself~!! 

:dust: :dust: :dust: 
:dust: :dust: :dust:


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## Pino6161

Well AF got me Friday after I got a very slight positive that day, I didn't want to say anything until it was confirmed. Well now the witch is here. I had my appointment this morning where she confirmed my chemical. :cry:

There really are no words for the way I am feeling but I'll get over it, again. It's always the same story, different day.

Me and OH had a really nice talk last night and we are both ok I guess....

Yep I will be spending Christmas without OH..... It will be our longest time apart in 4 years, so I am not looking forward to that part......


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## lxb

pino - I have no words. Wish I could've given you a hug IRL. 

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Oh Pino. I'm so sorry! Also wishing I could give you a giant hug.


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## lauren26

Pino! No! :( I'm so sorry :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Did the doctor give you any more info or want to run tests? I so wish I could fly down there and give you a giant hug!!! I will be thinking about you. I'm sorry, too, that you are spending Xmas without OH. We are here for you.


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## lauren26

PS Sashimi NOT ok. :growlmad: So not ok!!!! I just don't know who would think that was funny at all. I could see *mayyyybe* if your SIL had added her name to the package so that your DH knew to expect a gag when he opened it and saw the RIP, but it's still totally creepy and weird and I'm so glad you guys didn't wait until Christmas!!! That would have INFURIATED me. I do not think you overreacted.


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## SashimiMimi

Sorry that my post in the gag was so long. And thank you to anyone who actually took the time to read it!! Oops!!! OH's sister called last night to apologize again. It seems like there is a lot of tension going on between boyhood OH's sisters and their dad. The other sister also called and spoke to OH for a couple of hours and I could see how drained and upset he seemed with all the negativity in his family. He's also worried that the whole gag gone wrong is going to cause more tension.


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## Pino6161

Thanks everyone!! I am doing ok. The dr. does want to start all my testing. We just have to wait until we get back, at least I know there is no chance this month without OH. No need to falsly hope LOL

Sash---- What they did was wrong. I think they were just trying to be in good humor, but with everything going on they didn't see how it would look from the outside.... Hopefully the tension will ease off a bit and you all can enjoy the holidays!


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## lauren26

Sashimi, no need to apologize, that would have completely sent me over the edge!!! Your poor OH--his family sounds like a real handful right now. The good thing is that you two are a united front in how you want your new family traditions and dynamics to go. Why does this time of year seem to bring out the worst in family??


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## SashimiMimi

I have no idea why this time of year always seems to have extra unnecessary stress! I think OH sent a note to the family saying the gag gift gone completely wrong has even dealt with and we don't want anyone else to drag it out or keep bringing it up to the sister. 

I'm feeling better about it, even though my emotions were through the roof on the weekend. At least it's made for an entertaining story!! OH had retold it a few times at work this week.

We are off to NYC this week. Doesn't look like we will get any snow for the holidays but im looking forward to it nonetheless!


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## lauren26

So exciting!!! It will be pretty either way. NY could get hit with that superstorm later this week, right? If it does hopefully it avoids your travel days and just gives you a nice festive dusting!


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## Pino6161

I am officially waiting for my very first flight to Oklahoma.....wish me luck


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## preg_pilot

Pino6161 said:


> I am officially waiting for my very first flight to Oklahoma.....wish me luck

Good luck :hugs:


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## countrygirl86

Hi ladies, just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! You all hold a special place in my heart :)


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## lxb

:hugs: ladies~

Merry Christmas and happy holidays :hugs:


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## haribo813

Merry Christmas and happy 2013 all, let's hope they're happy, healthy and productive for all of us. Love h xxxx


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## treasured

Merry Christmas ladies :) Hope you all had a nice day and im sending christmas love and wishes to everyone :) xxx


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## preg_pilot

Happy holidays everyone :)


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## lauren26

Merry late Christmas!! And Happy early New Year!! :) here's to 2013 brining the rest of our overdue BFPs to the crazy ladies!! Thank you all for being such wonderful friends :hugs:


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## countrygirl86

I just had a chance to read over Sashimi's story, that is not funny! I definitely think you did the right thing to call the cops. It's a shame they chose that way to send it to you, creeeeepy. Hope you had a good Christmas regardless.

Pino, I'm so sorry for your chemical. Picture all of us giving a GIANT group hug to you! Hopefully the time passes quickly and you can be with OH again. He is a good source of strength for you and is a reminder that you WILL get there. I can't believe how quickly time is going, you'll be moving before we know it. 

lxb, you've inspired me to bake a fancy cake for my Mom's birthday January 11 using marshmallow fondant (SO good)! How did your cake turn out?

Hope everyone is enjoying their holidays :)


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## lxb

Happy last few days of 2012~ Maybe 2013 be the best year yet~! :hugs:

country - the cake turned out great!! hehe.. my very first fondant cake turned out to be a success!! One thing I would've done differently though, is to let the buttercream perhaps sit overnight before covering it fondant. I made the cake the morning of, and it didn't have enough time to set in the fridge. So the cake started to sag a little~ :haha: but not too bad. My niece absolutely loved it! 

360 view of the cake! :thumbup:
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v470/xb211/image-3_zps71497ca1.gif

** the combination of buttercream + fondant is a too sweet for my liking. but if you have sweet tooth, you will love it~ :thumbup:


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## lauren26

lxb send a cake or two my way! :haha: That is so beautiful--I can't imagine being a little girl and getting a cake like that. You are such a great aunti-mama. 

country you are getting really close!! How are you feeling?


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## countrygirl86

lxb that cake is amazing! You have real talent girl! And I have a giant sweet tooth so I love fondant and buttercream lol You should be really proud!

lauren, I'm feeling good thanks! Starting to get nervous/excited. I feel like there's still so much to do but all the baby really needs is all ready. How are things with you?


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## lxb

Happy 2013 my crazy ladies~~ :hugs: may this be one of the best years yet!!


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## SashimiMimi

I agree! 2013 just feels like it's going to be a great year. There will be lots of BFPs and babies this year. I'm excited that Country's due date is around the corner and can't wait until there is another flood of BFPs on this thread. They seem to come in big waves and we are due for another BFP wave to come crashing in.

How did everyone enjoy the holidays?


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## haribo813

Here's hoping it's a good year. I for one am so pleased to see the back of 2012! Not long now at all Country, you mustache be so excited. Have you packed a hospital bag yet?

My break was mostly nice but I found Christmas day really hard. My niece is so cute, she's nearly 16 months and such a character and it's hard to realise what you're missing out on each time you catch up. My sis has a massive bump and I unfortunately got upset on Christmas day in eve when she said one of her best friends who gave birth in Jan is pregnant again. Apart from that wobble I was fine! It was nice to have a break and I didn't realise how tired I was. We had 10 for a family lunch on NYE and then stayed at friends. Played tennis and swam in an outdoor (heated!) pool as the sun set on new year's day as friends are members of a posh health club-i felt like i was in anothwr country, it was bliss. Back to work with a bang today though, so tiring, I forgot! Ready for bed now. Expecting period on Sunday :( Am continuing with diet and yucky teas.

How's everyone else? How was new york sashimi? How did you get onvery Christmas pino? Amazing cake lxb, clever lady! Hope you're well. Treasured, how's the house going?! Fingers crossed all to plan!

Xxx


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## treasured

I hope you are all right about 2013 BFPS! I am kind of in shock that I am still no further on in my TTC journey than I was in November 2011. Seems like an eternity ago.... There are facebook announcments left right and center about peoples kids 1st birthdays and I remember stalking them while they were pregnant :( Time moves far too quickly. 

Anyway... out with the negative and in with the positive! Since me and OH are going to be moving into our OWN brand new house in Febuary I have decided this is the best time to restart our TTC journey. These past few months have been great for me to chill out, have fun with my friends and just take a step back from the stress of TTC, but then again I keep thinking that I am wasting time haha! But I feel this is a great time to start again seeing as we will probably be christening the new place ;) hehe. I reckon we will give TTC a proper go again for maybe 2 more months and then start things with the doctor. Ive just ordered a new thermometer and ovulation strips! Let the crazyness begin again!

Im also exctied to get my diet back on track because clearly the festive period aint good for anyones figure :O

Also... I got offered a trainee management position in my temporary job (after only being there 2 months might I add ;)) but alas I dont think I want to accept it because I am still very keen to persue my career in the care industry and get into the hospital :)
But still nice to be considered. 

Hope all is well and everyone had a nice holiday season! x


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## haribo813

I shouldn't use my phone to email-so many typos! Sorry about mustache country!


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## SashimiMimi

Haribo your NYE sounds lovely! We had a great time in NYC, ate some really great food, but I swear that place is the most crowded city on earth. I think it is crowded year round, but during the holidays was insane! We had to line up just to cross the street, so that slowed us down in regards to everything we wanted to do. 

I'm sorry you had some emotional moments during the holidays. It's so tough and I remember feeling like a Grinch last Xmas for our lack of TTC success and everyone else around me getting a BFP with a snap of their fingers. But this is a new year and a fresh start and you will be the one celebrating the holidays with a baby in your arms next year.

Treasured congrats on the new job offer and new place! When do you move in? Good luck with starting up TTC again.

I'm a little sick of hearing about celebrity pregnancies. I know the royal pregnancy is one thing and we will hear about it to no end, but now Jessica Simpson who has a HUGE bump after just having her first baby 7 months ago? And even worse Kim Kardashian and Kanye West? Haven't they been dating for about 5 minutes? I know one of her sisters suffers from infertility so that can't be easy. But she released a statement saying that pregnancy is so hard (she is 12 weeks) and that she suffers from morning sickness. Sigh! It's just so easy for some people. 

Well I wrote this in my journal, but I suspected all along that we are having a boy and that was pretty much confirmed in our anatomy scan last week. :blue: I'm very excited! But my grandmother has expressed some disappointment in the gender because boys aren't as fun to shop with and also hates the name we have picked out. She was very vocal about it and I was really upset that someone in my family could show such a lack of support after all we have been through. I'm going to try to stop getting so emotional about what other people say, even if it's family.


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## lauren26

Lol at the mustache haribo!! And treasured, you know what they say--new house, new baby. :) I need to catch up on our crazy lady thread a bit but I think ill wait til I'm not on my phone. Just dropped in for a moment!


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## Pino6161

I am finally home after 2 long weeks in Oklahoma! I have so much to do so I will update you all later!!!

Happy late Christmas and New Year :haha:


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## lauren26

Pino! :hugs: Can't wait to hear how things are with you.


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## Pino6161

Ok so Oklahoma was beautiful!! I had my first white Christmas (that I remember as my mother pointed out) It was gorgeous! A little windy for my taste but I still loved it. My dad made my mom a wagon to be used as a planter for Chrisrmas. I was beautiful, and only took hime a day to make it. I attached a picture. I bought my sister a camera that she used the heck out of LOL. The best part was all the "white people" food my dad made, I really missed his cooking!! They bought me a crap load of kitchen stuff for when we move.

I met my SIL for the first time. I do not like her, I just barely put up with her. Their daughter is now 6 months old and had not tasted ANYTHING other than breast milk. We finally talked them into making cereal for her, and it looked like freaking water. She didn't get the hint that it was to thin. On top of that. me and my parents were cooking all day. They did not even offer to help cook, or clean up. My dad told my brother to help out, and he said "I don't even do tht at home" and walked away!! I was PISSED!! So fast forward to my sister's birthday. They came over and I asked my brother just to dry the dishes. He said no and went ooutside while his wife followed them and walked outside. I locked their asses out of the house. He went to the door, and tried talking so I flipped him off. I did open the door 5 minutes later... So we were all eating and SIL didn't like it UGH so she didn't eat well my mom asked her why James (my brother) doesn't help out around the house. She said "he works 6 days a week I wouldn't do that to him" I laughed and told her My OH works 7 days 13/14 hour days and he still will try and help out. So after we ate me and mom sat down and they clane the kitchen (as they could tell I was pissed cause they are so lazy). 

At Christmas me and my dad kept giving the baby tastes of food. Like baked potato all mashed up and stuff. They were pissed. So my brother makes a point of saying on my sister's b-day not to feed the baby anything. Me and my dad laughed and I said if they are not smart enough to feed their child, then we would. She needs to learn how to swallow. At that after you put a tiny bit of food in her mouth she would start sucking on her fingers to swallow it properly.

Needless to say I can tell my SIL does not like me, and I do not like her. She is one of those people who is quiet and the minute you leave the room talks shit, I heard it.

I am not jealous anymore though just saddened. My brother has gotten HUGE though he was only 130 lbs last time I saw him 4 years ago, and is now 350ish. WOW.

My dad could not stop saying how happy he was that I came up, it was so sweet. 

I purposly planned to leave the day the kids start school, as my sister has really bad anxiety. Well She saw me packing on Sunday and had a break down, I fel so bad. But I showed her on the Calender when I would be back, so it helped her a little. Usually we are lucky to see each other once a year since I left 5 years ago. It's really hard on her, as I raised her, and then up and left. She also has her 1st boyfriend. I think it's sweet even though she is only 12 y/o

My brother is 15 and a little player LOL. He plays basketball, and it really good at it. Him and my sister bicker A LOT!

My parents and I bonded for the first time in forever and it was great.

I am still worried about the move as we will be taking a hit financially, but I think we are ready....


Sorry I was so scattered LOL I typed as I thought it all.

I hope everyone had a great holiday :hugs:


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## Pino6161

PS.... My SIL is still breast feeding which I thin is great. But my parents are very old fashioned. Do it in private kind of thing. Well we are all sitting talking and she whips it out to feed, not covering or anything. My dad made the kids leave the room, and so did he embarrassed. I had to tell her to use my room as it is not appropriate to do that in front of the kids and my dad, it makes them uncomfortable. It would have been different if she did it discreetly or covered. I wasn't rude or anything. My brother then said if the baby is hungry she is hungry. I told I understand that, but it is about courtesy in someone else's house with kids around. I know they are old enough to know and all of that, but my parents shelter them badly.


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## lauren26

Wow Pino....that SIL sounds like a piece of work!! And the not helping out around the house, especially at holidays when your parents are hosting, would really steam my potatoes, too!!! I am with you 100% on the breastfeeding--I plan to breastfeed but I'd definitely cover up or leave the room. Who wants their in-laws seeing their nipples?! That sounds like a stressful holiday but also like you got some great time with your siblings. How many siblings do you have? Are you the oldest? I'm glad you got the chance to go home, even with the awkward SIL boob moments! :haha:


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## lxb

definitely agree the in-laws dont need to see those nipples! :dohh:

glad to hear you have a nice time and bonded with your parents~! that's the nicest thing we can have for the holiday~

In fairness to your SIL though (IMHO, I'm not criticizing or anything), I think I would be mad if people feed my baby food even though I've told them not to. (even though they mean well). I know 'back in the days', our parents do whatever we want with us and we all turned out well~ but today's doc would actually suggest no solid food until the baby is at least 6 months old. Then introduce them to fruits like blueberry, etc. Don't get me wrong though.. I don't agree with your SIL by not feeding the baby food other than breast milk~ 

My nephew is 1.5 years old, and STILL not eating normal people food! :dohh: he's only drinking milk/water, and everything like rice/noodle/vegetable.. it's all plain! No seasoning! :dohh: And only certain type of food. I don't understand how my sister or BIL thinks... but I just left them alone as it's their child. They let him tried peanut butter once, and it turned out he's allergic to it. :shrug: and my other sis and I would ask 'the mom' everytime we want to feed him...


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## Pino6161

I have 3. And yes I am the oldest.

Me: 22

James: 20

Ricky: 15

Sissy (Jenny): 12

Ricky and Jenny are my half sibling, although I consider them real. My mom adopted me and James when she married my dad. I was 5 at the time.


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## Pino6161

lxb--- I do agree to an extent. was a bit of a bitch. It would honestly piss me off if she did it to me. The baby is almost 7 months old. Didn't start sleeping in a crib until last month. She was sleeping in a bouncer. Trust me I understand your point. I kind of acted in the moment :blush:


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## lxb

:haha: I think I would've done the same thing too! Just to piss her off~ :shy: afterall.. we ARE some crazy ladies~ :haha:


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## haribo813

Oh my pino! SIL sounds like a piece of work! So pleased you had a fun time at home notwithstanding her, sounds so amazing to catch up with everyone. Urgh to not helping and flashing boobs though! Is your move in Feb? It's come round fast!

Sashimi, congrats on having a boy. And what is your granon about?! Maybe it's some kind of odd flattery-she thinks a girl is more likely to look like you?! It's obviously still so so wrong and so exasperating given your journey. And celeb pregnancies noooo! My personal favourite is magazines saying how amazing it is that celebs have lost all their babyweight in 6 weeks. Pretty sure we could all do that if we were so inclined, had a night nurse, a day nurse, a chef and a personal trainer on hand! The royal pregnancy is too much-it's everywhere. Poor k-midi, must be weird carrying an heir and living in a goldfish bowl!

Treasured well done on being offered that role even if you're not taking it-in demand girl! Do you know when you're going to the docs? Let me know how you get on and I hope they're not funny about doing tests. Bed for me. How is everyone else? Xxx


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## Pino6161

We don't move until the last week in March, but still right around the corner LOL


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## lauren26

Pino that is right around the corner!! How exciting :) I bet you're happy to be back with DH and to start prepping for the big adventure. 

Haribo I feel sorry for Kate Middleton, too. I cannot even begin to imagine the kind of pressure she (or anyone who is royalty) has to live with!!! My hat is off to her.


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## Pino6161

So me and Oh talked about our finances and stuff. We have come to a few conclusions. To start I am applying for school. I want to get my bachelor's in elementary education with a specific in special education. So I start in April and will take a few summer classes. He does have his new job secured at $10 and hour, but a lot less hours than he is now. Plus for the first time we will be paying rent and utilities. I am really worried about our finances. Don't get me wrong we will make it but it will be really tight. So on top of going to school full time I need to find a job. Since I haven't worked in a while it will be very difficult. That and my 2 misdemeanors will make it hard, but a necessity. We won't have medical insurance right away as his boss is a small company. Well my dad wants to put me on his insurance. With that I will still get all the testing done and find out what is going on with my body. BUT we decided it would be best if we got settled financially before we have kids. It breaks my heart knowing we have to wait, but it is the right thing to do. It would not be fair to any child to be raised without financial security. We even talked about the fact that after we figure out what is wrong, I should go on birth control. I am not comfortable with that though.. I don't know what to do. Knowing that it is the right thing to wait, but going that extra step and preventing what I desperately want seems so wrong to me. I need advise. If we stay living here we have the financial security as we don't pay rent or anything. But it is not fair to my OH to have to work 13/14 hours a day at a job he hates. He is about to turn 24 and he is exhausted. That and neither of us have any life outside each other and our family. I don't think that is fair either We have no friends cause of his hours and the fact that we live in the middle of no where. We live on a farm, and the schools out here are not good, so that would not be fair to a child either. What do we do?? I need some outside advice. Please no judgments, just what would you do if you were in my shoes??


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## lauren26

Pino I definitely think that moving towards independence as a couple, as a family, etc will be best for you and DH and best for your future family. Starting out is hard, but the reward really is worth it. Budgets are an ongoing part of life, too, and we've grown as a couple and gotten really clear about what we want and need in life because of the requirements of financial independence. I do agree about the health insurance--your baby will need to have it for sure, and I think it is best for you to have it as a future and expectant mother, too. Good luck, I'm sure that whatever you choose will be perfect. I support you either way.


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## lxb

wss^^

It seems like you're heading to the right direction and getting yourself financially independent. Definitely join under your father's insurance so you can get some answers and hopefully it will be a quick fix (if any).

If it was me, I would probably go on birth control if I know I'm not financially ready for a baby (it could get expensive). It also sounded like you two need some time to enjoy life outside of just the two of you and your family.


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## SashimiMimi

Pino I 100% agree with the other ladies here. From what you describe, it sounds like you and OH are in limbo in your current situation. I think moving somewhere new, having goals with school and a new job are all things you would probably really value having in your life right now. 

One thing I will say as someone who has fertility issues is don't go back on the pill until you get checked out. You have been trying for so long and it sounds like there could be a fixable issue, but if it were me I would want it diagnosed first before taking any medications that alter your fertility. It does sound like that perhaps it would be best to wait to TTC again while you make this transition in your life, but I think getting your health checked out should be one of your priorities. See what the doctor says about going back on the pill first. That is just my two cents anyway. 

But like everyone is saying, health insurance for a baby AND you are extremely important. Change is scary but these all sound like very positive changes in your life!


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## preg_pilot

Pino - Just my 5 cents
I´m 31 years old, with a first baby on the way. OH is 27 years old.
We both have the education we want to have, and I´m getting a stable job in April this year.
I wouldn´t have wanted to have a baby while going through the roller coaster of losing my job every winter for the last 6 years...

Don´t get me wrong, people are ready for children at different points in their lives, but in my and OH´s cases, the right thing to do was wait.
We feel much more confident. We have our own apartment, at least one highly paid stable job on the horizon, and the ability to buy a family car in the next couple of weeks.

For us, this was the right thing to do. We could have started on our family 5 years ago, but then we would have been out on the rental market, with no financial security (him in school and me out of a job every winter).

I hope this is useful for you :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

Preg: I don't know why I thought this, but I actually thought you were 21 this entire time not 31! Shows what I know! What will your new job be in April?

I meant to give an AFM update earlier, but totally forgot. We had a bit of a scare last week with the results of my 20 week ultrasound. The doctors thought there could be a hole in the baby's heart, but that does not appear to be the case. All rechecks came back clear. Needless to say, I had a meltdown between getting the news of the possible defect on Thursday and having the recheck done on Friday. I was literally sick with worry and threw up twice on Friday! I wrote this all in my journal, but I know not everyone checks individual journals. 

Other than that, I'm adjusting to non holiday mode. I felt like after I lost my job I went right into holiday mode and was keeping pretty busy. OH took some extra time off, so it felt like an extra long vacation after our NYC trip. Now I feel overwhelmed at the amount of prepping I need to do before May, and don't really know where to start.

I signed up for some prenatal classes today, as well as some yoga classes that start next week. I'm seeing my niece and nephew tomorrow and just enjoying not having to commute and work late nights right now. Sometimes I feel at a loss for what to do, but I think I will appreciate this quiet time soon enough.

How is everyone else doing? Pino, I meant to say I am glad you had a good time over the holidays but your SIL does sound like a handful. Sounds like you handled her with grace and class and I love that you locked them outside. Haha! Have you thought anymore about your Oklahoma move? I was really sorry to hear that your OH works such long hours and hates his job. Life is too short to be that miserable that young. My OH has been having meltdowns all week regarding his work, I think he just feels overwhelmed with all the changes in our life going on. I know that whatever you guys decide to do, it will all work out. You have each other and are a united front.


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## lxb

Hope you ladies are doing well~~ :hugs: :hugs:

preg - Happy 16 days to go!!! Ahh!! So close!! :dance:

pino - i agree with sashimi. definitely get check out BEFORE going on birth control pill~

afm, I've made an appt with the specialist on Jan 24th~ :dance: Now.. let's see what is up with us!


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## SashimiMimi

Yay lxb can't wait to hear how it goes. Remember to feel free to ask me anything if you need help prepping questions beforehand. :)


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## lxb

SashimiMimi said:


> Yay lxb can't wait to hear how it goes. Remember to feel free to ask me anything if you need help prepping questions beforehand. :)

thanks sashimi~~ :hugs: I'm googling and listing my list of questions~~

what type of questions did you ask? do you still have your list? trying to google some useful questions~ :wacko:


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## SashimiMimi

Lxb: Obviously you will tell them your entire history of TTC. From there I think it is important to understand all of the tests they will do and what they are for. Be sure to book a recheck after the tests to go over the results and come up with a game plan.

I know at my clinic my RE liked to be very in the moment and not discuss too many "what ifs" for possible solutions down the road. We didn't even discuss IVF until it was clear that it was probably my best and only option to get a BFP. 

I remember you saying the mmc was possibly a blighted ovum, so I would ask about if there is anything in particular that could cause that. The more information you can share about yourself the better, the tests they perform will take care of the rest and should shed some light on any issues. 

I'm very excited for you and OH to take this next step!


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## lxb

Yeah~ I'm going to call to see if my OB can fax over my record :shrug: then print out all my charts from FF. This appt should be the 'what's next' type of appt. Taking the initial step to do some basic testing (at least some blood work) as well as SA for DH.

Since OB couldn't tell me how much will SA be from them, I've decided I would go with the specialist where I know the exact cost and no surprises.

Baby steps :thumbup: ... (pun intended :baby: :rofl:)


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## SashimiMimi

That sounds like a great plan! I know with my OH, they did a number of S/As on him including a full sperm defrag that we paid extra for. This revealed a lot and I'm glad we did it. 

Yes, I think it should definitely be a what's next meeting. Obviously you don't want to keep going forward blindly, wondering if there is anything going on and I know it will be such a mood lifter for you to get a plan going. What ever that might be! 

My best friend started TTC and she is already getting frustrated. I think she is super spooked because so many of her friends (including myself) have fertility problems. She has MS (mutiple sclerosis not morning sickness!!) and has been through so much with her health at such a young age, I just hope that infertility does not get added to that list. She went off the pill in June, it took 5 months of AF to show up and now she never gets positives on OPKs. I told her to start temping as OPKs can't always be reliable. How have people been having babies since the beginning of time when it is this complicated!?


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## Pino6161

Lxb--- It is so great you are going through the process. Hopefully I am not to far behind you in the testing section.... Can you please keep us updated on the steps and questions etc. For those of us that have been chickens LOL

Sash--- I am so sorry to hear about the scare!!! I am so glad your little one is safe and tucked in!!

I am not sure what happened to all my subscribed threads :shrug: I just figured everyone was busy. I had to go through and resubscribe to everyone. I promise I was NOT ignoring you guys!!!

So we have officially decided a few things

1. We WILL be moving the last week in March. We hope to be on the road March 25, 2013.

2. Next week I WILL apply to the 2 colleges up there as a transfer student. One community and the other University.

3. My dad is working on the insurance and I WILL get testing done the moment I can.

4. We are not sure on how long we are going to wait to try though, and we are still nervous about birth control. I wouldn't go on it until after the testing and stuff, but even then so many people have fertility issues after BC, so I am still squeemish about it.

Thank you all for your input it really did help me knowing you are all behind me with support. Thank you :hugs:


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## lauren26

Lxb sounds like you have a great game plan!! :thumbup: I am really excited for you and DH and can't wait to hear how it all goes. You may have said this but is your appointment already scheduled? We are rooting for you girl!!

Pino I do that all the time by accident on my phone :haha:. You also have quite a plan in the works and lots of exciting, big stuff coming your way! There's nothing quite like taking that first life-changing step and going towards a big dream. I got married when I was 22 and never in a million years thought that DH and I would be where we are now, after almost 5 years. You two have so many amazing adventures ahead!


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## preg_pilot

.


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## SashimiMimi

I don't think you sound 21 or look 21. Just thought you said that was your age when you joined the thread.


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## lauren26

Preg - 16 days?! Holy cow! I wonder how often babies are exactly on time...


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## preg_pilot

.


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## haribo813

I'm pregnant! 3 months of healthy eating and horrible tea has done the trick! I hope this gets the ball rolling on 2013 BFPs... thanks for all your help, totally invaluable. H xxx


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## SashimiMimi

Haribo!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the best news I have heard all day. I'm actually sitting here with tears in my eyes! You did it!!! I wish you a healthy 9 months and all the happiness in the world!

Now tell us everything. Did you almost fall over when you saw the double lines? How do you feel!?!?


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## haribo813

Ha ha sashimi! Bless you with the tears! I actually had a great acupuncture/chinese herbs session on sat 5th and things looked hopeful as I ovulated early in dec and had had a high temp for 16 days at that stage. But I've been crushed so many times so I tried to forget it and carried on, staying busy! Panicked every time i went to loo in case witch had arrived. Then my boobs stayed bit big like do just pre period and the days went by-no other symptoms. I tested on sat and was still a bit scared to but line was there! Am delighted. Thought this was a stopgap til ivf in august. Am only 5 weeks but baby due mid Sept! Hasnt sunk in yet! Long way to go but this is such a great development for me whatever happens. Fingers crossed! I'm superstitious so didn't get el you all til after the test!

Truly believe that was combo of my diagnosis, sticking with teas and diet and a bit of luck.

Let's hope there will be a flurry of others v soon. Needless to say I'll still be on here. Thanks again for being there for my vents xxx


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## SashimiMimi

This is amazing!!! I have heard so many success stories with the teas and acupuncture. I'm glad you didn't have to wait and go through IVF! Sounds like your little one is just ready to come now. What did your OH say!?!? You must both be so over the moon. I didn't want to get excited until after I saw my doctor but it sounds like a sure thing! And September is a wonderful time for a baby :)


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## lxb

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HARIBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:happydance: :happydance: :happydance: 

So incredibly happy for you!!!!!!!!

GIANT CYBER HUG!!


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## lauren26

OMG OMG OMG!!!! Haribo!!!!!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::rain:

I second Sashimi--best news ever!! This totally makes my day, which was crappy so far, lol!!! Eeeee!!!! So so happy for you. You deserve this so much and I'm glad it's happened for you. Do you have a BFP pic?? I need pics!


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## lxb

wss^^ two pink lines on a pee stick makes me happy~~ :haha: :shy:

Eekk lauren!! Happy Eggplant week!!

Happy Papaya week sashimi!!


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## preg_pilot

haribo813 said:


> I'm pregnant! 3 months of healthy eating and horrible tea has done the trick! I hope this gets the ball rolling on 2013 BFPs... thanks for all your help, totally invaluable. H xxx

Wow, great news! :D
Happy and healthy 9 months :hugs:


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## treasured

Omggg haribo!!! Yayy! Let the 2013 bfps commence! Soo excited for you and glad you didnt have to go anny further with the doctors :) I agree with the picture comments. I need some 2 line magic!! :) xxxx


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## haribo813

Ah thank you so much lxb, Preg and Lauren! Very exciting!
I'll send you a pic tomorrow I promise!

How was everyone's weekend? xxx


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## haribo813

ps does anyone else feel like when you 'thank' a few posts in a row it feels a bit like you're doing a series of high fives?! I like it! xxx


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## lauren26

LOL yes I do feel that way! We need a hi five emoticon. :haha:


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## lxb

:haha: definitely feels like high five Haribo~ how are you feeling? Waiting to see pretty pic! :dance:


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## lauren26

Pee stick pic! Pee stick pic!!


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## SashimiMimi

Haribo we are all virtually high fiving you in a row for sure. I second the motion for a pee stick pic. Gosh, I carried mine in my purse for a week so I could keep looking at it every time it felt real. I think I peed on about 8 sticks after that just to experience a BFP more than once, something that was never seeming possible. Hope you're feeling well!


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## haribo813

Here you go. Sorry it's a bit blurry!

Bed for me now-5.5 hours of work meetings!
xxxx


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## SashimiMimi

Yikes! I don't see a pic!!


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## lxb

you've got preggo brain~! :haha: did you remember to attach the pic?


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## haribo813

Not sure that worked... not very good at this kind of thing!
2nd try,,, xxx
 



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## lxb

i see a stick!! the pic is a bit tiny though....


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## haribo813

Sorry, first pic was too large so OH shrunk it so I could send it to you...goodnight crazy ladies!.x


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## lxb

haribo813 said:


> Sorry, first pic was too large so OH shrunk it so I could send it to you...goodnight crazy ladies!.x

Get some rest preggo lady :hugs:


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## lauren26

Eeee so little! I want to see the HUGE pic ;)


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## haribo813

Gosh you ladies are pernickety!


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## lauren26

:blush:


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## lxb

Sorry haribo~ we need a huge pic to feed our huge addiction~~ we need to see some giant double pink lines!! :bodyb:


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## countrygirl86

Woohoo haribo! Congrats on the pregnancy! You are growing a baby :) the pee stick is beautiful lol. What great news to start off 2013!


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## Jaynie82

I have been reading this thread for months (10 months to be exact) but very rarely posting as i felt i didn't want to show how disappointing i feel when af shows or the few times it has been late and then getting a BFN.

I just wanted to say everyone has been amazing and i love the link that ties everyone together and how supportive everyone is. I just didn't feel that posting was for me although it is a great support for many...

Anyway i got my bfp today! In total shock! AF was due on Wed but it didn't show. I have been cramping the last few days but something told me to test. I was going to hold off until tomorro but thought WTH! 2 lines came up straight away. DH was down stairs and when i came into the room i said that he should sit down and then i showed him the test. We just stood hugging and crying our eyes out still doesn't feel real. Just did a digi as i have loads of pee (TMI)! and its says pregnant 2-3. Makes it sink in a little more!
We have our first appointment with the gynae a week on Friday. Isn't it strange how you finally get the appointment through and it happens? Hoping and praying the bean sticks and everything is ok but I am massively relieved that we have finally gotten a bfp
 



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## lauren26

Congrats!!!! 2013 BFPs!! :happydance:


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## countrygirl86

Congratulations jaynie! I had wondered where you'd gone. You must be thrilled :) this year is looking very promising for our crazy ladies!


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## lxb

:wohoo: yay to your BFP jaynie~!! When is your edd?? How about you haribo~~~

:rain: :rain: :rain:


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## lauren26

Haribo where did you go?? We need like a million more pee stick pics.... :rofl: How are you feeling? Have you had an appointment? EDD?

Jaynie, how are you doing?


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## Jaynie82

Thanks! Feeling exhausted this week but sleeping well enough. 
Edd 25th September!


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## countrygirl86

September is a great month for a birthday! I'm September 5th :)


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## haribo813

Congrats jaynie, lovely news.

I'm fine thanks. Work pretty full on as woman I work with broken leg and I don't think she'll be in work for a while poor thing, she slipped on the ice. I had 8 round for dinner on wed and was exhausted when they left at 12 but great evening. Have appt on mon so need to decide what hospital to have scan at at 12 weeks. I'll be 7 weeks on sun. V exciting although must admit feeling bit sick in mornings and eves.

How are you lxb, treasured, pino?
Hope everyone has great weekends xxx


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## treasured

Woohooo This is great news for the 2013 BFP crew. Congrats!

So I got a positive OPK yesterday and today and EWCM and a temp rise this morning. I MUST be ovulating woohoo! It feels good to be back on top of things, although we have not resumed TTC really until were in the new house :) Me and OH are thinking about getting a little pug puppy as our substitute baby until my body stops being a pain in the backside! And the fact I just REALLY want a pug! But we have to wait and check out our finances first... As always haha. 

Haribo, I'm okay, work has taken over my life too its not much fun, but as of 2 weeks my shifts will be finalised so I wont be chopping and changing from morning to evening shifts and I can get back into a routine! Glad to hear your doing well, minus the sickness, but HEY thats what we all wished/wish for before BFPS haha! So exciting about your scan being close already!


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## lauren26

Treasured I love pugs!!! That sounds lovely. Do you and your OH have pets already or would a pug be the first?


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## Nightnurse

*Hey all LTTTC # 1 took a new year cycle 1 of clomid on DPO 5 now,my journal is a bit quiet now as most of them have gotten their BFP's so really need some folks to chat with if you want to know more about me you can check out my Journal at 

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/ltttc-journals/198895-nightnurses-11-year-ltttc-battle-2013-baby-174.html#post25029331

hoping to meet some great folks*


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## haribo813

Great news you're ovulating treasured! Brilliant. Pug sounds exciting, could you work it around your jobs? Speaking of which, great news your shifts are changing, sounds like that will male things easier and hopefully work will ease up a bit.

I wasn't complaining about sickness at all I promise! Think due date would be 16 sept.


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## haribo813

Welcome nightnurse. Everyone is really supportive on this thread and offers lots of help and support. I've only just found out I'm pregnant-it took a year and a half and lots of tests (have polycystic ovaries), acupuncture, chinese herbs and a change in my diet. Everyone's journey is so different and all horribly painful and sad-we can all relate to what you're going through. Have you been to a dr to check you both out? Will keep my fingers crossed for you.


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## treasured

Thanks! Im glad to be back on track with charting, it puts your mind at ease to keep up with your body. We may have slightly missed O due to OH staying with his parents on the Friday night but maybe the saturday was good enough... I amnt stressing too much though because once we are in the new flat we are going to start properly again :) 

We are still in limbo about the puppy. I have been reading up on pugs and they are prone to quite a few health issues, as well as being quite difficult to housetrain. This could prove to be a problem with work, although it would probably only be left alone for a few hours at a time. We will probably wait a little while to see how our schedule works out :) How are you feeling otherwise? How many tests have you taken haha!? Is your OH looking after you hehe :)

Hi nightnurse!! Welcome to the crazylady thread as we like to call it. Everyone on here has been great and we are on our way to get everyone a BFP. I havent got mine yet and have been actively TTC for roughly a year, with a few months NTNP in between. OH has been tested and his sperm are fine, I am just turning 22 in a week so feel quite judged by doctors when I last went so havent got the courage up to go quite yet but I plan to get checked out in a month or so if this one isnt the one. xxx


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## Jaynie82

Treasured, my sister has a jug (half pug half jack russell) and he is gorgeous. She originally wanted a pug but because of the reasons you have already mentioned she decided to get him instead. Typical puppy behaviour but hes very good now and she wouldn't be without him.

As for me, starting to feel the nausea kicking in (it comes in waves but i haven't actually been sick) and i could sleep 24/7. Just praying everything is ok and progressing as it should.

Hope everyone is good and ok xx


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## lxb

treasured - look at that temp spike!!!! Hello tww~!! :wave:

jaynie - yay for nausea~! hope it's not too bad~ :hugs:

haribo - how are you feeling? :hugs:

nightnurse - welcome~! hope you'll be able to find the support you're looking for from our crazy thread~ :haha: :hugs: fx~ clomid does it magic~!

country - anyday now~!! looking forward to meet your little guy~

preg - how are you feeling? anyday now for you too~! Looking forward to meet your little guy as well~~ :hugs:

sashimi, lauren, and sleepy - time for bump pic~~ :dance:

pino - how are you girly~ how's packing coming along?

afm, 5dpo today (i think). nothing special to report~! I poas this morning! hahah.. of course, sparkling white bfn~ :bodyb: will be out of town this coming friday for about a week~! AF is due feb 5th, so hope she gets the hint and don't bother me and won't be bothering me for the next 9 months~! (also dh & I's wedding anniversary ... happy early wedding anniversary Country~ :hugs: ... maybe your little guy will be your wedding anniversary present?? :cloud9:)


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## preg_pilot

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## Binkido

Hi I am going to be 32 in a couple of months and I'm in the same boat as you ladies. My hubby and I have been ttc for almost 4 years now and nothing yet. I have been on Clomid and Progesterone and a slew of other meds. All of my friends have been and are getting pregnant again and I am getting so depressed. My hubby says it will all be ok, but all I want to do is cry whenever I see a baby. I know it's hard for him to watch me go through this, but I don't think he understands how upsetting it is for me. I could also use a couple of buddies who could understand what I'm going through since no body I know is going through the same thing. Thanks.


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## lxb

preg - keep up the good work~ LO will be here soon enough~

binkido - welcome~ :hugs: perhaps hubby is trying to be strong for you~ but sometimes men just 'forget' about it but with us... we think about it on a daily basis and every single moment~! we tend to notice pregnant women and babies more as well. it certainly made us feel emotionally exhausted.

your hubby is right though. things will be okay~ you two need to be strong as a couple to be great parents when you have your LO. dont' forget to stop and looked at what you have around you and dont' put so much emphasis on what you don't have. it tends to make me feel better that way :)


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## SashimiMimi

Binkido we have all been there. There have been so many times where I felt like I was in the pregnant lady apocalypse and the Universe was mocking me. I tried doing 3 IUIs, all failed, before finally taking the plunge and doing IVF... which FINALLy worked!

Have you spoken to your doctor about next steps? Have you considered looking into having the lap surgery done to find out what is going on that the regular blood and ultrasound tests aren't revealing? 

What LXB says is true... try not to focus on what you don't have and look at all the things that you do. You will get through this and there are answers out there for you.

Jaynie: Congrats!!! I feel bad that you felt you couldn't post on here while lurking, but I'm glad you have resurfaced to share the news!

Haribo: The icky first tri sickness will pass! Just hang on, it gets better!

Treasured: When do you move into the new place? A new puppy and new home would be a wonderful combo!

Preg: I'm sorry to hear that you are uncomfortable. Maybe you should try stretching to help easy the pain.

Lauren: :) 

Lxb: You must be excited for your trip! Do you have it all planned out?

Sleepy, Country, Pino: Miss you! Hope you are all doing okay!


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## preg_pilot

.


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## Pino6161

I have not been on here forever!!!

Haribo, and Jaynie CONGRATS!! What a great start to the new year!!! Hopefully the couple of us crazy ladies left get our BFP's :thumbup:

Time seems to be flying. Yesterday Countrygirl, and Preg_pilot announced their BFP's and now they are this close to meeting their miracles. Literally could be anyday now.
Lauren went through surgery after trying and trying and after having sex once got her miracle BFP.
Sash went through months of 3 failed IUI's was so worried about IVF which landed her BFP.
SleepyOwl not far behind with hers
Lxb went through a tragedy, but is still one of the strongest among us
Treasured is young like me, while waiting for our BFP's

Now while are about to greet to crazy babies, we have 2 new BFP's. Talk about a cycle coming around full circle. I am grateful that everyone stuck around :hugs:

Welcome NightNurse, and Binkido!! You will love all of these woman. BFP's or not everyone is so supportive!!

So I cheated and copied this from my journal :shrug: Lazy day :haha:
What a week. Too fast, but too slow.

I am trying to figure out exactly what we need for this move. Financially I am not as worried the closer we get to the actual date. But figuring out what we are taking and what I am donating, and realize all of the stuff we are going to have to buy is a bit overwhelming. I know we are not going to purchase everything all at one time, but build it all up, but realizing we will not have a couch or anything is hard. As a plus when we do move, we will be living with my parents for about a month just so we have the first couple of paychecks needed for an apartment, so I know it would be a pain storing couches and stuff at their place. My parents have a storage building. One of the steel ones. Half is a barn, and the other half is my dad's workshop. We will be storing all of our stuff in there. All in all I am glad that we won't have a couch to get saw dust all over it LOL.

Me and OH have figured out our finances. Until now we had a vague idea of how tight it would be. As of now, yes it will be tight, but not that much different. We have been saving money left and right, and we will be fine. 

TTC wise we are going the flow as OH says. I'm not charting, temping, doing OPK's. Just having sex LOL. If it happens it will happen. I know we talked about preventing it and everything, but it felt wrong to me. That one month would be ours and we would miss it. I can't do that. 

This month was a little weird though as CD16 I was having cramp like pains on my left side near my ovaries. This went on all day long, and a little bit on CD17. CD 15 I had a big clump of EWCM when I wiped. And then on CD 17 during sex, OH pulled out to re position, and he was covered in like a white stringy cum from me. It was not cum from being turned on, it was different. What do you guys think? I have never had this before, and it was really weird. I am now CD19 and everything is back the way it was. No pains, nothing. I have no idea what was going on and was wondering if any of you have experienced this. :hugs:


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## lauren26

Pino, nice recap!! It has been quite a year for the crazy ladies. I joined BnB a year ago, and I think I got on this thread in March (?). Good work on figuring out the finances :thumbup: It's so stressful but always better to know all you can. The white stuff--could have been CM or could have been a little cyst popping? Sometimes benign cysts form on the cervix and can pop, maybe that? Definitely could just be CM though, the creamy kind. 

Preg I'm thinking your LO might be here since you haven't updated. Also, does your DH give you back rubs at all? Could help. 

Sashimi :D

Jayne and Haribo Can't wait for you two to have bump pics!!!

lxb See journal for bump pic ;) I can't tell anymore when I've grown...

Country I feel like maybe your LO is here, too...Impatiently awaiting news!

Treasured Charting is so satisfying in a way, isn't it? Even when things are going well. Sometimes I miss it!!! Have you and OH decided about the puppy?

nightnurse and binkido Welcome!


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## preg_pilot

.


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## lxb

Agree with Lauren! Nice recap Pino. Tragedy sounded so dramatic~~ :haha:

Pino - perhaps u r Oing on cd16 (with the cramp and ewcm!). Thinking the stringy thing culd just be cm like lauren mentioned! fx those spermies find their way to the eggy Nd catch it!

Yay bump pic Lauren :headspin:

Preg - I think walking helps wih the actual labor and won't bring you to labor. Did you guys dtd? Heard :sex: helps :headspin:


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## preg_pilot

.


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## Pino6161

Preg---Sorry you have been in so much pain :hugs: Hopefully you will be able to meet your little one very soon :dance:

Lxb--- Have fun on your vacation!!!

Thanks you guys for the advice. All pain and cum is gone so I am guessing I O'd on CD16 which sucks, cause we couldn't BD due to OH being in so much pain. Hopefully the day before and after will help, but I am not getting my hopes up :shrug:


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## treasured

Lauren- yes, I am really glad to be temping and charting again it has made me feel a bit more at ease, although it's strange because everything seems to be in working order with Oing and such, except nothing happends..... We have decided to wait a while to settle in to the new place before getting a puppy! Probably sensible! 

Lxb- how many DPO are you now? close to testing I bet :D I think I am somewhere around the 7dpo mark... we are close together :)

pino- nice recap love! so strange to think how quickly everything has gone but it also seems to long ago that we begun talking... I PRAY this is our month and maybe your break will prove to work? if not I will have a serious talk with your ovaries to hurry on up! haha! <3 I was out by a few days BDing around O so we are in the same boat!

preg you are sooo close it must be sooo frustrating! so exciting though :D 

In other news, we have had some bad news about our new place, We were scheduled to move in 2 weeks, but our lawyer has just informed us that we cant actually get the mortgage through until mid march! Although FAILED to tell us this, rediculous... We have ordered furniture and everything... So irritating. We have packed a lot of stuff too which is now lying around for even longer taking up space. So we are praying that everything goes well from here and that the seller doesnt change their mind due to us being later than planned. I have actually spoken to her (off the record) and we have decided to keep each other in the loop without the lawyers knowledge because they clearly aren't explaining things. I can't take this falling through so pray for me ladies!! 

Also I have a question... I've tried googling but not much has come up. Basically for as long as I can remember my boobs have been quite sore after ovulation on and off till AF. For the last 2 or 3 cycles though I havent noticed them being sore much at all, maybe the occasional tender nipple.... Any idea why this might be :( I thought I might not be O'ing but this month I was SO sure, positive OPK, EWCM and temp rise? Any thoughts ladies? :) 

Peace out, Hope everyone is good! Can't wait for the LO's pics to be on here soon :D xxx


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## lauren26

Hmmm I am pretty sure that symptoms like sore boobs are due to progesterone--maybe your progesterone levels are different lately? That's a pretty easy blood test for them to run! Bad luck about the lawyer :growlmad: I hope the seller cooperates with you!! Sounds so frustrating!!


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## preg_pilot

treasured - fingers crossed everything works out for you with the housing issues.
Not long since I had those myself, such a relief when it was over :hugs:


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## Pino6161

Hey everyone!! It's been kind of quiet around here. How is everyone??! 

I am doing good. I had like 5 seconds of cramps today, weird for 8 DPO :shrug: Nothing else going on here really just waiting......


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## Pino6161

I saw this on facebook, but had to share it here.... SO TRUE!!!

I have to get this off my chest. 

Why have so many people told me that breastfeeding is sexual in a man's eyes because breasts are involved. That it needs to be hidden or done in private because men are such pigs that they can not differentiate between sex and a baby eating. BUT THIS is okay for the same people to watch and no one thinks twice about it. 

Breastfeeding is not sexual. Breastfeeding is not sexual. Breastfeeding is not sexual.

Feeding a baby is normal, necessary, and wonderful.

If you can watch the halftime show, you should not even come close to being offended by a woman nursing her child.

This has nothing to do with bashing the person pictured...
 



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## lauren26

Here, here, Pino!!

It's not like most women are BFing with their entire boob hanging out in the open air, either...I don't think I've ever seen that as a matter of fact.


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## Pino6161

Me neither..... Many people say blah blah blah use a blanket etc... But do you really think a baby wants it's head covered by a blanket??? I wouldn't LOL


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## lauren26

I will def want to cover up baby and breast in public for our own privacy, though they make looser, lighter bibs/blankets especially for nursing. I agree--I always see my SIL put a warm fleecey blanket over Roy when she BFs him and he HATES it. He struggles and tries to pull it off.


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## Pino6161

That's all I am saying. There is a such thing as modesty with no cruelty LOL with the way things are there are so many ways to be covered up without a blanket in the middle of summer :D I do not believe you should just "whip it out" LOL


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## lauren26

Lol!!! I am impressed that some women can just whip it out ;)


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## Pino6161

My husband would kill me LMAO!!! As he says even once I'm pregnant my breasts will only be on rent to the a baby, they are and always will be his LMAO


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## treasured

BIG temp drop closely followed by a suprise AF. LOVE seeing her. It seems my body holds out until I have a glimmer of hope and then strikes again. Nothing else to say really lol every month is the same! 

Love to everyone x


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## lauren26

treasured said:


> BIG temp drop closely followed by a suprise AF. LOVE seeing her. It seems my body holds out until I have a glimmer of hope and then strikes again. Nothing else to say really lol every month is the same!
> 
> Love to everyone x

:( :hugs: very unfair of AF to tease you like that!!!! How is it coming with the new place?


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## Pino6161

:hugs: I am right behind you my love!!


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## Pino6161

Today has been a bit rough. I have officially been TTC for 3 years :cry: still cramping on and off.... waiting for AF


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## treasured

HUGS sent your way love. Wish AF would stay away and let your BFP come and put an end to this horrible wait :( xxxxxxxxx


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## lxb

:hugs: Pino. May AF stay well and far far away from you ~

It has been a rough day for me as well. Today is our 'Chinese new year' and supposedly a happy day as it's the "new year". As my sis sent me one of the pictures we've taken during dinner last night. Couldn't help but to feel a little emotional. There I was with my two sisters and nieces/nephew. My sis's bump is starting to show at 14weeks. And my ~1 month old niece in the little car seat. Imagined another car seat right next to it with a little maybe just a few days old baby or even me having a huge bump that should go any minute. Even though I had a smile on my face...I feel like it's just for show. Not sure if anyone else noticed it or not though.

Therw myself a little pity party. Filling out new patient form for the fertility specialist office. Downing some junk food....ah...feeling sick :dohh:


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## Pino6161

:hugs: The new year is always a bit of a difficult time, especially with circumstances the way they are. One day I really have faith that we will get our sticky one. :hugs:

So I am 13 DPO adn expect AF around tomorrow. I did take an HPT yesterday and BFN, so I am just waiting. Cramps for about 4 days now on and off are weird. They are not just twinges either, but minutes of actual cramping... It is so confusing :shrug:


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## lxb

pino - sending positive dusts your way~ C'mon BFP... show yourself!

:dust: :dust: :dust:
:dust: :dust: :dust:

treasure - :wave: cycle buddy~~ let's go for a BFP this cycle, shall we? :drunk:


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## Pino6161

Well ladies I am OUT the witch showed this morning :shrug: I am ok with it just cause it came on time, I am on to next month


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## treasured

Lxb- your post made me cry. I cant imagine how difficult that would have been and you handled it in such grace. You are lovely to try to keep a smiling face but know that you have every right to be bummed and eat as much junk as you like. It's always a hard time around a new year when you know your no further forward. I just had my 22nd birthday and was thinking how funny it was that last year I was wondering how I would cover up my pregnancy at my 21st! Hah! Anyway my love is with you and your oh and please keep positive because you are mine and pinos life line for hope <3. 

Pino- sorry again about AF :( you know how much I love you and I think we both just nees to concentrate on our moves and get our new start and then geting to the doctors. Im such a loser, today I sat infront of the mirror and spoke to my self as if I was speaking to the gp! Haha. Daunting but doable

As for me im half of AF down and just concentrating on my oh, he was away with friends and is going to London for an interview tomorrow which could result in him living down south for 3 months :( so w're loving each other more recently :) were also going away for the weekend next week so hopefully il O then! X


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## lauren26

treasured, lxb, pino :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Sounds like AF is ruining all the fun for all three of you at once :growlmad: You are ALL very gracious and brave but know that you don't have to put a happy face on here!! The crazy ladies are here for you, thick and thin. I wish I could give you all hugs IRL and punch your AFs in the face! :haha: pino, are you guys feeling ready for the move? treasured, are you moving for sure? I feel like you said but I can't seem to remember if it's a done deal! lxb, are you looking forward to your appointment this week?


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## Pino6161

I am def. ready for this move. It hit OH this morning that it's only 6 weeks away!! Saturday I was so emotional and fed up that I tried talking OH into moving next weekend :rofl: It did not fly with him LOL. I actually bought some moving boxes so I can start packing up stiff we don't need. I am getting so excited! Cramps are killing me today, but I am trying to take it in stride. OH is getting a bit overwhelmed with everything so I am trying to stay positive for him.

Treasured :hugs: Our cycles have been so close together the last couple of cycles LOL.
LXB you are now in sinc with us as well LOL we HAVE to have cycle BFP luck or something this cycle right :haha:


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## lxb

o yeah~ it has GOT to be lucky!! Triplets power.. ACTIVATED! 

:gun: :gun: :gun: 

:headspin:

lauren - appt is on Thursday! Happy Valentine's day! :thumbup: soo looking forward to it..a bit nervous at the same time as I wasn't sure what to expect. :shrug:


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## haribo813

Really sorry lxb, those big family occasions can be so hard. I had exactly the same thing on Christmas Day with my sis and it feels like a double blow feeling down when it's meant to be such a happy occasion. You poor thing. I really hope that this and your appointment on Thu (exciting!) will be a turning point and you're heading on up to a lovely little bean very soon.

Pino, must have been really hard hitting that milestone, you are so brave. I think all your new beginnings will herald exciting new things and hopefully the news you've wanted for so long is just round the corner. In the meantime tell the cramps and AF to scoot!

Treasured, am sorry you're having a tough time. It's horrid to look back at how we all had dates when we just assumed we'd have a baby in our arms...When will you find out if OH is moving? Hope the cold isn't getting you down! SO cold today and that's London!

I am crossing all my fingers for you three and really willing that next month will be your month. In the meantime please vent on here, it's what we're here for.

Hi to all the other crazy ladies and hope you're all well xx


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## SashimiMimi

Lxb I wrote on your journal but wanted to send you a virtual hug in here too.

Pino, those milestones are awful... I know what my 1 year was like, so I can't even imagine 3 years. You're so strong and I know, like Haribo said, that with all the changes and the big move it is going to create a positive shift in your life. And once you are settled you can finally see that doctor and I know it's going to help and make you feel a lot better to figure out what is going on. :)

Treasured what is going on with your move? If OH moves will you go with him? What is happening with your place!? 

Haribo how are you doing? Will you start a journal that we can all stalk? Would love to hear how you have been feeling these days. :)


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## Pino6161

Thanks everyone for all of the support. It was a really rough day. Me and OH have been bickering a bit more lately. I think we are getting worried about all of the changes coming our way and falling on our face. We are always able to talk things through, but it's the little things that throw us off.

Haribo-- I think starting a journal is a good idea!! How are you feeling? Has it hit you that you actually got your BFP yet??

Treasured--- Thank you for everything! 

Lxb--- our trio better cause BFP's for the lot of us LOL. Did you decide your not temping this cycle again?? I miss stalking your chart :haha:

All my crazy preggo ladies--- Where did you all go?? I hope everything is going well and healthy :hugs: This thread is a little too quiet :shrug:


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## Pino6161

EDIT: Sorry, I posted twice LOL


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## lauren26

Pino this is a very stressful time and it sounds like you and OH are doing your very best to stay communicative and supportive!! Don't be too hard on yourself :) You're doing great. :hugs:

Haribo I second (third?) the journal suggestion!! How are you feeling?


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## haribo813

Don't worry Pino, all relationships go through tough bits and with so much going on with you guys-it's no wonder that you're finding it hard as there's so much change and so much to do and TTC is stressful (particularly at certain times of the month).

I'm fine thanks!! It hasn't really hit me yet to be honest. I'm quietly excited and obviously delighted to have got to this stage but am also a bit nervous about our scan which is 3 weeks today. I don't know, it's been such a long struggle and I suppose a bit of me is worried I'm not out of the woods yet. I have been feeling a lot better the last few weeks-I was really feeling sick morning and night in weeks 5-7 but maybe i'm managing it better with food and sleep! I went to first yoga class today before work since i found out and it felt great to be stretching. I don't think I'll do an online journal, sorry to disappoint lovely ladies! I have been writing in a pregnancy journal my ma bought me so think it could get a bit out of hand writing in two places!!

Lxb, am crossing my fingers you get a helpful doctor tomorrow and they're really proactive and helpful. Let us know how you go!

Valentine's tomorrow then. I'm not a huge fan but made a card and bought a couple of books for OH! I also still send cards to my mum and sister, bit of a saddo eh?! We won't be dining out tomorrow eve that's for sure. Any plans ladies? xxx


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## Pino6161

Bummer about the pregnancy journal, but it makes sense not to want to write it out so many times. Just promise not to go and forget about us :hugs:

I am not a big fan of V-day either. OH wants to go out to dinner, but I am not sure, I have had a bit of a head cold, so we will see how I feel.

AF is coming to an end. The last couple cycles I am down to only 3 days of bleeding, I am not complaining though :haha:

How is everyone else??


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## treasured

Hey ladies. 

So AF has cleared off and now on to the next! We are pretty set on the fact that the move will take place mid march, once we get confirmation from the solicitor. Just wish it was all signed and set in stone! OH said his interveiw went well but they dont hear back for another month. I am hoping that if he has to accept another place it will atleast be in scotland so he can probably just comute! There is no way that I could move down especially with having the new house! I am secretly hoping it doesnt come to this because thre are other management opportunities within the place he is already in.... But I know it would be a great experience for him! No idea where it would leave us in regards to TTC...

In other extremely annoying news I messed up with online banking and entered 1 digit wrong in a transfer and have managed to send a lot of money to the wrong person... And apparently theres not much the banks can do about it. So I might end up having to go to court. GREAT TIMING! I blame OH for reading the card number wrong hehe  but there surely should be a way of getting it back! AHH.

Anyway, lxb how did your appointment go? FX they are going to get down to finding out whats up!

Sashimi I am so glad that scary blood didnt come to anything! That must have been terrifying :( You are brave!

Haribo- glad you are ploughing through your pregnancy :D I feel you with the whole blog thing, somtimes its just nice to get on with things without feeling the need to document it all!

Everyone else- HI!! Whats going on? :)Xxx


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## Pino6161

Treasured-- I love that you blame OH :haha: That always makes me feel better!! Hopefully you can get it all sorted out!! As for OH there is a catch both ways... What does he want??


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## Pino6161

So it has been a late night for me, as I can't sleep.... Anyways I was stalking a few threads :blush: and I came across a very interesting one about taking HPT's with blood... Many of the ladies tried it and it worked for them. BFN's and BFP's. On;y one was it not accurate for. The blood gave her BFN but regular pee was positive. Interesting read if you are bored LOL. I am debating trying it just for the hell of it :blush: :haha:

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/pregnancy-tests/1648959-blood-hpt-positive-hmmm.html


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## lxb

Pino! I'm awake too! Surprisingly! Usually I would be deep asleep as 10pm rolls by :haha: think I fell asleep on the couch earlier and now wide awake! :haha:


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## Pino6161

LOL sorry lxb.... I posted and my body passed out LOL :haha:


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## lxb

Lol same here :rofl:


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## treasured

Soooo.... As much as it pains me to say it and I wish it wasnt the case but it looks as if my dreams of having a baby within the next year are pretty much stuffed. OH got the management job (they must have liked him cause he found out straight away and was picked from over 20 applicants) which is GREAT, but means that he is going to have to work away from home for potentially a whole year :(. Deffinately 6 months anyway. We can visit each other maybe every 2 weeks but it is going to be pretty hopeless where TTC is concerned. We are still going ahead with the house becaues its too nice to pass up and his accomodation is paid for his move anyway so I will just have to stay in the house myself, or maybe get a friend to live with me. I HATE being alone :(. To be honest it hasnt totally sunk in yet, for the past 3 years we have never spent longer than a week apart, So its deffinately not going to be easy, but in the end he will have an amazing job with more than double his salary atm. But we cant have a baby through skype, so I guess theres not much choice for me :(. The only reason I am pissed off is because OH has suddenly changed all his feelings towards TTC, he now thinks we should wait until he is settled in the new job and up he gets and takes the job. 

Woah, sorry for the rant. I'm not sure how I am going to handle this but I'm sure I will somehow. As I say it hasn't sunk in yet so prepare for some emotional posts in the near future haha! 

Hope all is well x


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## Pino6161

My move date just got moved!!! Me and OH are now leaving 2 weeks early, so a little less than 3 weeks!! I am so exited, but nervous!!


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## treasured

Ahhh Pino! So exciting :D. No waiting around ! You getting on well with your packing? xx


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## lxb

treasured - yay for great job opportunity for OH!! :headspin: but that suck for ttc! long distant relationship is the worst~! good to know you get to see each other every ~2 weeks. FX O falls close to weekends~ quality time = quality bd = quality bfp~ :dance: 

pino - Ah!! 3 more weeks!! :headspin: get on packing lady! are you almost done though?


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## Pino6161

Honestly I have so much to do!! I have been thinking about packing, and only packed a tiny bit.... I figured we have 5 weeks left. Now that is squashed and I couldn't sleep at all last night cause I was thinking about all the stuff I have to do.


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## countrygirl86

treasured - it's great OH got the job but really puts you in a different place! We've learned from preg_pilot and lauren that you can get pregnant when time is against you. It sounds like a challenging situation but if you keep communicating together you'll make it through. When does he start? 

Pino - how exciting you move so soon! I remember when you first talked about moving I thought March was SO FAR AWAY! Now it's pretty much here! I wish all the best for you in your new start :)

lxb - Happy belated Anniversary ;) I hope you and DH spent some quality time together enjoying each other. You are such a strong soul, and we are all here for you. You are making progress and moving forward. Only good things to come...


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## lauren26

treasured :hugs: I'm sorry to hear that you'll have to be away from OH so much. Congrats to him on his job and to both of you on the house! 

Pino woohoo on your move being so soon!! I am sure you're very busy with preparations :thumbup:

Afm, getting sick of my commute VERY quickly!! It's been snowing here and taking me ages to get to and from work. I know I can't complain because I chose to buy a house and continue working here until my leave, but boy I can't wait to never commute up here again!!! I plan on getting my resume updated and prepped before LO arrives so that I can easily apply to jobs closer to home during my leave (assuming I have the physical and mental space to do that!). I just can't imagine coming back to this job--it's so far away and I don't feel very appreciated or treated fairly. Plus I'm learning quickly that this company is NOT very family-friendly, despite the fact that the Managing Partner has four kids and the other Partner has three!! Anyway, Fx that I can get through these next weeks.


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## Pino6161

treasured--- I hope all is well!! Sorry about the job for OH. It's good, but bad as well!! We are all here for you!! :hugs:

lxb-- You have been kind of quiet! How are you doing?? 

Lauren-- Good luck on the job hunt!! You don't deserve all of the stress of commute and bosses that are asses!! :hugs:

So not much has changed on my end. Still trying to get everything packed and in order. There are only 2 weeks left until OH's last day of work, add 2 more days and we are on our way! It's getting so close, and I am getting a bit overwhelmed with it all!! On a different front I am CD11 today and I should be ovulating sometime next week. I am hoping I can catch the eggy before the move, but I am not very positive about it :shrug:


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## lxb

pino - hehe... that usually happen when there are tons in your mind~ hope packing is moving along nicely~~ like country.. when you first brought it up I thought March was sooo far away! Can't believe it's almost here!! Where has time gone?! 

country - Happy belated anniversary to you & dh too~ we spent out anniversary away from out with a mini road trip to San Diego~  definitely enjoyed this little getaway~ Can't believe little G is already 2+ weeks old! I still remember posting that Super O picture! :haha:

lauren - eek! that commute sounds horrible! Can't imagine commuting in the snow! :dohh: dh freaked a bit when we were on our way back from the San Diego trip and it snowed!! :haha: Oo..speaking of snow.. we had SNOW yesterday!! Everyone is shocked! :shock:

Good luck with new job hunt when you're ready~ :thumbup: definitely sounds like a great idea with a not-so-family-friendly company. 

afm, nothing interesting to report. CD14 today (-OPK on CD11-13) and got a +OPK today! :shock: I dont know if it's a true positive or another fluke. Seems too early. Will see what the stick says tomorrow :shrug:

Ohh.. on an OT pooper news. Someone rear ended DH on the freeway yesterday! Luckily, he was the first of the 3 cars! So the back bumper had some minor scratches while the other two cars are not looking so good. DH said his back/neck felt stiff and a little off, so hopefully it's not a long term injury. He also said the driver from the last car (who is at fault) got a pretty bad nose bleed :shock:


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## Pino6161

lxb--- I just saw this post so ignore the one about snow in your journal :haha: We were so excited about the snow yesterday even though it wasn't much were we live. It was OH's first time seeing snow fall!! Here's to hoping he is used to it cause we will see it every year in Oklahoma!! I hope your OH is ok and it gets better quickly!!! I have no idea where all the time went.... I think it literally flew by :D


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## lauren26

Does it never snow where you two are in AZ?? I am a very good snow driver having done it for years now, but many people here aren't :dohh: They act like they've never driven in CO in the winter!! I take a country highway along the mountains to work--it is hardly ever plowed but I have 4wd and know how to drive on it. There are always lots of people in cars that are just not cut out for snow taking the same route, though, and it totally slows down traffic. 

Pino packing is a pain but I always find that it's nice to take inventory of what we have and get rid of a ton of stuff!!


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## Pino6161

It snows up in northern AZ and sometimes Nogales. But phoenix and Tucson area is uaually NEVER LOL


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## lauren26

I have been to Sedona, Phoenix, and Flagstaff--Sedona seemed mountainish--is it?


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## Pino6161

It is kind of mountainish LOL. Like a middle between Phoenix and Flagtaff


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## lauren26

I love the giant cacti in AZ!!! :haha:


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## lxb

:haha: i love the giant cacti too!! 

And sedona is mountainish and higher up~ flagstaff is where snow is the norm~ 

yeah.. where I live.. snow is pretty much unheard of!! that's why everyone was shocked!! Well... technically I didn't see any snow that day but it was all over the news. It snowed in Scottsdale/North Tempe... which is only <~20 min away from where I live! And I only saw wet street and sunshine! :haha: it was ~50F!


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## lauren26

LOL I remember going to LA in the spring when I was in middle school and it had snowed 2"--they shut down every major highway as people were panicking and driving off the road!! 

Does it rain where you guys are or is it real live desert?


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## lxb

:haha: that's why DH freaked a little when it was snowing on our way back from San Diego. (it was hailing at first!) then when it turned into rain.. DH said "oh.. now I feel better"

Yes, it rain over here but not often though. Monsoon/dust storm is more common around here and haboob (makes me giggle everytime I say that) :rofl:


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## lauren26

haboob?! What the heck is that?? Monsoon sounds amazing.


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## lxb

Haboob in Phoenix~!

https://i.huffpost.com/gen/302596/PHOENIX-ARIZONA-DUST-STORM-PHOTOS-VIDEO.jpg

https://farm7.static.flickr.com/6037/5907025323_19113dcfd2_z.jpg


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## SashimiMimi

I have some serious catching up to do on here. First, Treasured that is a really tough situation with your OH. On one hand, it sounds like an amazing career opportunity... on the other hand, it really stinks that you will be long distance for a while. Is there any reason you can't go with him? I guess the house and your own job? You two will make it work. Do you think you will still get tested and checked out by your doctor, just in case there is something that can be fixed now so that you can tackle TTC later on without any doubts or questions about your health or your OH's fertility health?

Pino, wow you must be overwhelmed about the quicker move time. BUT you will get it all done and will be so happy to be settled in your new home very soon. 

I have some stories to share but I'm going to put them on my journal to avoid writing out the same thing twice. 

Hope everyone is well. Happy Friday!


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## lauren26

Whoa lxb!! That looks terrifying!


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## SashimiMimi

What are these cactus Armageddon pictures!???!


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## Pino6161

Hi everyone.... I took my animals to the vet today for their vaccines and a preventative for heartworms. They found a hemmotoma(SP) on my dog, Reina's neck. He took a sample to send in to see if it is cancerous :cry:


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## Pino6161

I wanted to share this video with all of you expecting mothers. I don't mean to freak anyone out, but make sure you choose who watches your kids very wisely. This video made me ball my eyes out :cry: My heart goes out for this child!!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=376838293615


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## lxb

Pino - hope reina will be okay :hugs:

Eek!!!! That is so hard to watch!!! Just showed dh and said we'll put a camera in our house!! (So I can keep an eye on mil? :haha:)


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## Pino6161

Thanks :hugs: That's what my OH said as well LMAO always watch those MIL's don't want to much spoiling!!


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## lxb

whoa.. look at your temp treasured!!! :dance: Happy 5DPO! :happydance: when are you planning to test?? 

:rain: :rain: :rain:


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## lauren26

Seconded!! Nice temp treasured :)


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## haribo813

Treasured, sorry about your OH's job, even if it is a great opportunity. I hope you find a lovely house mate to keep you company! Know what you mean about TTC chances with him away, of course it makes it harder but it might make you feel a bit better to know that I have friends who were apart (1 in South America and 1 in UK) and only saw each other odd days here every month and they got pregnant so it can still happen! And anyway, you're in the 2ww now so there's always a chance ;) Come on pre Christmas beans!

Pino sorry to hear about your dog-have you heard anything back about the test results?

It was weird reading about the extreme weather-it doesn't seem that long since you guys were moaning about the ridiculous heat and stuffiness of your homes-just goes to show we have been on here together through the seasons.

Country and pregpilot-any news?!

We had our 12 week scan today. I have been quietly hopeful up until now but tried not to get too excited as I know that the scan is really when you find out. And it's all fine. I have never been so relieved! And I was a bit further along than they thought so our due date is 11 Sept. I am delighted. Am sure work won't be so delighted but hey...


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## lauren26

Yay!!!!! Haribo I'm so glad your appointment went well. That wait is ROUGH. September is such a wonderful month for your baby to be due :) 

I am pretty sure preg got off of BnB--she announced it on her journal when she was still pregnant. I'm curious how her birth went.


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## Pino6161

:hi: everyone!! Ok so Reina is A-OK. The spot was benign :dance: My 2 furbabies were sick and sore after their shots though. It broke my heart. They are finally back to themselves!!

We are moving in 5 days!! Things are almost done....I have a few things left,but not much. We cleaned the yard yesterday, now just the inside needs finished :D

I am about 2 DPO and feeling really positive, but we will see.

Haribo--- Tell work to kiss it LOL!! YAY for the scan going great!!! 

Country-- CONGRATS on your little one. He is adorable!!

I hope everyone else is doing great Everyone is getting so close to their dates... don't forget about us :D


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## SashimiMimi

Haribo thank you so much for the update!! You must be thrilled and I'm so happy for you! Have you started to tell people yet?

Pino glad the pups are okay!!!


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## lxb

haribo - glad to hear scan went well~~ :headspin: do you have any scan pics to share us crazy bunch?

pino - five days!!! can't believe it's happening so soon~!! soo exciting!! who is going to pretend to live in my house when MIL gets back now that you're gone??? :cry:

treasured - still nice temp~~~ :)


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## Pino6161

lxb :rofl: I will fly down just for you!! No worries!! :haha:


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## countrygirl86

Pino - that video made me sick! I could only watch till the first abuse, made my stomach lurch :sick::growlmad: I'm glad your dog is ok, crazy that you are moving so soon! I'm very excited for you and your new beginning!

I second lxb, haribo we want scan pics! I can't believe how time is flying for you! How are you feeling? I had my baby a month ago today, on Feb 6. He's a healthy boy and we are very lucky.

lauren, I'd been wondering about preg, I figured something like that cause her posts are gone. I hope everything went well for her!

How is everyone? I can't believe it's March! I've been on bnb for a year now. There are some sure signs of spring, starting to see bugs outside and the snow is definitely melting. Each season brings new hope but spring has the most promise of them all :)


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## SashimiMimi

I can't believe a year has gone by since I joined BnB!! Also it's a year ago this Friday that I had my first fertility appointment. I had such a lack of hope and was so frustrated. I'm grateful for where I am now. 

You said it country each new season brings new hope!


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## treasured

I wish my yearly update from joining BnB could be a positive one haha :( Its crazy how fast time has passed. Im glad it feels fast, although seeing people on my facebook completely lap me as in find out theyre pregnant give birth and then post 6 month picture updates really puts it into perspective. ANYWAY.... sorry to deflate the mood haha, I hate posting moans and groans in here now! 

But! Spring does hold excitement because we will very shortly be in our new home and as soon as we get our new doctors surgery set up I will be making an appointment. Did any of you take your OH to doctors with you? Hopefully OH might not need to go away for a whole 6 months either, so thats another good thing! 

as for this month my temps were REALLY steady pre O, but since about 5dpo they have dropped every day, its strange :S. 11dpo tomorrow and not so much as a twinge haha.

Love to everyone!!! :) lxb you must be close to me? xx


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## SashimiMimi

Treasured if you need to groan I still think this should be a safe place to do it. I hope I didn't sound disrespectful with my last post. I guess my other milestone before that was reaching one year of TTC with no results and then last march admitting to myself that it wasn't going to happen on its own. Up until this last September I was pretty deflated and felt like nothing was going to work and then something did. I feel like these fertility specialists hold a lot of answers and while it can be a frustrating road to go through failed procedures, ultimately most women will find success with a little help if they need it.

My OH came to the initial consultation as they did loads is tests on both of us and we were each questioned about our medical history. After that I went to cycle monitoring appointments on my own excep for days where I had IUIs and obviously IVF where OH needed to provide sperm samples. And he stayed with me for the procedures for support.

I just feel like spring always feels like a good time and good things always happen I. The spring. It's a time of renewal and the end of our cold canadian winters always put me in a good mood. Sadly our winter has no end in sight. It's still cold and people grumpy because of it. Someone ran a red light today and came inches from hitting me and its made me want to become a recluse! Every time I go out lately something stupid happens that shakes me up!! So when spring finally arrives here I hope people act less aggressive! Sorry that's my mini vent of the day. ;)


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## lauren26

Treasured :hugs: It was a year ago that I found this crazy lady thread!! I joined BnB before that but never thought I'd find such a wonderful and supportive group of crazy ladies. I'm very glad you'll be seeing a doc and getting some answers!! I really have faith that every one of the crazy ladies will be a mom. My husband came with me to my initial OB appointments before I saw a specialist, back in August and November of 2011 and February of 2012. He wasn't able to come with me to my first specialist visit nor did he come to any of the ultrasounds where they discovered and monitored my cysts. I wished he had been there! He was of course at my surgery and came to the first four ultrasounds I had after getting pregnant. We don't share insurance so he had to go to his own doctor for a semen analysis. If your OH can't come I recommend bringing a friend or family member if/when you get any kind of big piece of information. I found it overwhelming to try and hear a bunch of medical information while trying to handle my own hopes, fears, questions, etc. during a short appointment. In hindsight I may have brought my mom or a friend to ask the questions I couldn't think of in the moment. Plus it can be nice to have another set of ears hearing what you're hearing because they're not coming from an LTTTC perspective and may hear it differently. I hope that helps! And we are always here when you need to vent. Don't hold it in, sister!!


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## treasured

Sashimi- You didn't sound at all disrespectful! I want you all to honestly know how happy I am for you all and would never want you to feel bad! We all have our own paths and I know I will get there one day, as you ladies have :) I think it is about time to buck up and realise that its not going to happen naturally, So really I am not TTC anymore because its probably pointless haha! I hope it is a quick fix but I am prepared to do whatever it takes!! 

lauren- Thank you for advice! I am hoping that OH can come with me, not only for support for TTC but also so that my doctor takes us more seriously. I am still worried about them being judgemental. I'm so glad that I found this thread too! I hope one day we can all start a parenting crazy lady thread which we can make when we all have our babies :) x


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## lxb

treasured - yep~ we're very close! I'm 12dpo today~ so a day ahead~ Yes, I asked DH to come with me to the initial consultation so he would know what to expect and also for support. I would recommend bringing someone close to you and you can trust with you if your oh can't make it to the appt for support. I felt sooo overwhelm at the initial consultation because there are loads of information and all these different possibilities, so it was good that he was there to share that with me.

I see that your temp went back up today~ :dance:

sashimi - :growlmad: @ those people who ran red light!! red means stop!! NOT hurry up~! especially during weather like that~ Happy <~11 more weeks to go!!! Ekkk.. it's all coming together~~

lauren - happy 33 weeeks!!! 7 more weeks to go!!! :dance:

haribo - we'll be waiting for the scan pics~~~~ :cloud9:

can't believe it has been a year since I joined bnb! I don't even remember what was the reason that brought me to this site as it feels AGES ago~ I'm so glad I've met you all and definitely appreciate all the love and support from all you crazy ladies~ I wonder if we'll ever get to meet irl~ :hugs:


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## SashimiMimi

I really hope we get to meet IRL, it would really be a dream come true!! I know we always say it but this thread has been amazing and I've not been so lucky with others. I wasn't even going to start a thread because every time I wrote or commented anywhere else I got ignored or people were really short with me. But this thread sure attracted some great ladies and I couldn't imagine my life without all of you!!

Treasured I don't think they will judge your age. I saw people from all walks of life and all ages at my clinic. There were couples in their early 20s and couples in their late 40s. I even saw a quadriplegic woman come in for cycle monitoring one day! I think you will feel great once you go. Blindly TTCing is so annoying and so frustrating, it's nice to feel that someone is helping you and it's their job to help all women no matter their age with fertility.


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## lauren26

We must meet IRL!!! You ladies have been some of the most supportive friends I've ever had! :hugs: I don't share the TTC bond with anyone IRL at all, and I can't imagine being as close to anyone else around something like this now. 

Treasured I feel sad that you're afraid of being judged by the docs :( If you need us to make some anonymous calls don't hesitate to ask!! They should treat you with as much dignity and consideration as anyone else, regardless of age. We're here for you.

lxb thanks!!! Wowzers getting mighty close now...

Sashimi I'm so glad you started this thread!! What would we have done without it??


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## Pino6161

For all you mommies and soon to be mommies!! I found this on Facebook (where else :haha: ) it brought a tear to my eye and I had to share.

CONGRATS lxb on your :bfp:

&#8206;(For all the mother's (including pregnant ones) in the world, this one is for you! - Author Unknown)

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?" 

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. 

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations." 

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. 

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable. 

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. 

That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. 

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation. 

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her 
baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right. 

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming 
children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. 

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. 

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. 

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. 

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. 

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. 

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. 

I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic. 

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. 

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. 

I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. 

I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts. 

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. 
Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who may someday be Moms. May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart.


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## lauren26

Lxb!! One more of these!!!

:happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance:
:dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:
:yipee: :yipee: :yipee: :yipee: :yipee: :yipee: :yipee:
:wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo:


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## lxb

:dance: :dance: :dance: I think I'm still scared to believe this is really happening. I'm trying my best not to worry and enjoy this journey~~ :hugs:

Thank you for sharing the article pino! MOVING DAY!!! EXCITING!! :dance:

Sending lucky dusts your way Pino & treasured!! 

:dust: :dust: :dust:
:dust: :dust: :dust:
:dust: :dust: :dust:


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## treasured

Congrats again lxb!!!! :) :) this bean will stick fast!! 

Pino- that post was so touching! I hope one day we can go through alll that! It's just us twoo left now LOL we better do somthing about this quick! Although AF is almost here for me so im holding out hope for your moving day bfp!! Also good luck on the road tomoriw keep us updated! X


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## haribo813

LXB that is the most FANTASTIC NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so pleased for you both!!!

You will make the most brilliant mummy.
xxxxxx


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## SashimiMimi

Lxb I nearly fell off my chair!!! Yes! This is it! Much love an hugs. So happy for you! Isn't it typical that when people start seeing a fertility specialist that a bfp happens? At least you have them now to monitor you closely and keep your mind at ease!!


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## countrygirl86

CONGRATULATIONS LXB! I am so happy for you, this is the best news :) How are you feeling?

Thanks for sharing that Pino, it's so sweet and so true.


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## lxb

treasured - Sending you lost of :dust:~ This shall be your BFP cycle~ :hugs:

pino - hope moving day went well~~~ hope to hear your update from another state!!!! :dance: :dust:

haribo - where the u/s pic??? :cloud9:

sashimi - I'm so grateful that the next appt with the FS is onto a different topic~~ I'm getting nervous and yet excited! Happy 30 weeks!!

country - I'm trying so hard to relax and tell myself.. "just trust your body". I'm feeling great physically~ just mild cramps here and there. Got a little nausea last night and I got excited~ :haha:

I think it will really sink in when I have my first u/s~ :shy:


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## treasured

Pino!! Update us pleaseee hope youre okay :)

lxb- unfortunately not this month, AF showed up at 12dpo, which is early for me. Atleast she didn't give me any false hope hah. I'm not too upset just used to it now... Ahhh cant wait to see your first scan pic. You should stick it to your wall for good luck in making it a sticky bean :)


So we are moving in 2 days! So im not really letting AF get me down this month. Don't think I will bother to temp or anything this month cause I have the move and my show to prepare for so just going to let it slide. Don't really have very much motivation to do it anymore anyway haha it doesnt seem to make any difference :S.. 

Peace and love to all xxx


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## Pino6161

:D So I am here in Oklahoma. We left Saturday at 2PM and got here at 1PM OK time with 2 hours of sleep. It was a horrible long drive. We spent $500 just on gas. :crazy: 

Today is OH's first day of work so hopefully it goes well. 

I am 10 DPO right now and AF should start in 2 days, but all of my symptoms from last month are gone I had a little cramping a couple days ago, but that's it :shrug:

I hope all is well.


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## lxb

pino - glad to hear from you~!! 10dpo!! :wohoo: FX!!!!!

treasured - almost moving day!!!!

hope these moves will bring lots of luck and a sticky BFP! :dance:


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## lauren26

Wow!! Big times for treasured and pino moving and for lxb!!! Exciting!! This will be a good spring for the crazy ladies :thumbup:


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## Pino6161

Thanks everyone, but AF snuck up on me tonight so. Most likely I am not 11 DPO, but I am 12. It's so hard to tell for sure when I am not temping at all, and trying to temp in my parents house just isn't going to happen.

So I was major horney last night which is how I kind of knew the witch was going to fly in. Of course it didn't happen as OH was tired, and uncomfortable about having sex while people were in the house. I understand that completely so I can't really get mad but I had dream after dream about sex :haha: Then I woke up around 3am knowing AF started. Of course I hadn't brought my tampons inside from the storage garage and I didn't want to wake everyone up, so I used toilet paper :sick: Then for some reason OH's alarms didn't go off, so he was running late on his 2nd day of work. He leaves, and I go to get my tampons and of course, my dad's dogs go nuts so I KNOW he woke up the whole house. Luckily they were supposed to get up for school in 15 minutes anyways, but still. It has been one hell of a morning already.

I am not too bummed out over AF as I had hope most of my cycle, but this week has been so busy I haven't thought about it much, of course I just bought a HPT yesterday and now I don't get to POMS (pee on my stick :haha: ) Anyways usually I have a hint that AF is coming by cramping a couple days before hand, but this cycle there is nothing :shrug: No symptoms at all besides actually getting my period.....


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## SashimiMimi

I'm doing CPR on this thread and trying to revive it. CLEAR!!!

I'm just wondering how everyone is doing? Pino and Treasured how are you both enjoying your new homes? I saw some wallpaper on Treasured's FB that I'm now totally obsessed with. Treasured can you come and interior design my entire house please?

I miss all of you ladies and hope everyone is well!


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## countrygirl86

I'm here too! Thank you for bringing the crazy lady thread back on my radar Sashimi! How is everyone? Has spring started off well? 2013 will be a lucky year for all of us in one way or another!


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## lxb

:wave: crazy ladies~~ hope everyone is doing well~~

I miss the having to catch up 3 pages of posts after a day of not logging in! :haha:

agree with sashimi, i LOVE that wallpaper you've picked out~! Can you come to mine after you're done with sashimi's? :haha:

Can't believe little G is almost 2 months old now country! You seem to be doing a great job being a mom! Being a mom is such a rewarding feeling huh?


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## SashimiMimi

I need that wallpaper treasured!

I miss the long catch ups on here too. I love knowing what is going on in everyone's life and conversing exclusively with the crazy ladies. I've had a stressful couple of days... Mainly because I have been having an awkward situation with my dad that's been blown out of proportion. There is a full story and long vent on my journal!

We are renovating our house right now so it looks like a bomb went off. We just found out the renos will run longer than expected which makes me a little nervous, but I'll still excited for our new bathroom and custom closet in the guest room!!!!! It's been really loud today so I just went to a Starbucks to be alone and avoid being at home. I was sitting along at a tiny table with 2 chairs, was eating a sandwich, drinking a tea and reading when this woman with a stroller and her mother came over and asked if they could take the extra chair. I said sure... Well they end up sitting WITH me at my table, shoved my drink and food with their purses and totally crowd me in while talking loudly to each other in Spanish!!!

I asked them if they wanted me to leave and the woman said if I want to sit for a few more minutes I can. At MY table! So I snapped at them and said I told them they could take the chair not sit with me! And they said too bad we are not moving. So clearly the newborn baby trumps my being an obvious pregnant lady and wanting to sit. So I stood up and said FINE its ALL YOURS and stormed out!!! 

I was feeling really emotional about my dad and some other things and just wanted a quiet place to be. Maybe I should feel bad or had some sort of obligation to give up my table but come on!!!!


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## countrygirl86

That is completely ridiculous! My eyes bulged out the whole time I read that! You've met very inconsiderate people while you've been pregnant, it's making me angry! I sure hope those Torontonians are better to you once Levi is here!


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## SashimiMimi

Hehe! I'm not expecting much as there are people trying to get strollers banned on public transit! At this rate you'll never come to town for a jays game ever again country!!


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## lauren26

I said this already Sashimi but I'm SHOCKED that those women treated you in that way!!! I don't blame you at all for snapping. I've had the same experiences with rudeness but not to the extremes that you have. Mostly I've just been nearly run down by impatient cars, bikes, and shopping carts on a daily basis.

Country I can't believe you've been a mom for so long already--at least it feels like a long time to me, lol!! You're a pro by now :D

Treasured, I don't know what this wallpaper is but I need to see it!!

Pino, are you getting excited for your interview??

lxb :hi: I miss the long catch-ups, too!!!

Sleepy, I know you're out there in busy working woman world! :) I feel lucky that I get so many chances at work to sneak away to BnB :haha:

haribo--how is pregnancy treating you?


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## haribo813

Hi everyone! I couldn't believe when I kept checking the thread that there were no new posts, I thought I was mistaken in some way!

Sashimi that is so annoying and so RUDE. I hope you're feeling a bit better about issues with your dad. It's so nice (and essential!) to make time for yourself and you in particular should make the most of it-only 6 weeks to go too! Love your pics on facebook of you, you look great.

Pino, when's your interview? Hope it goes well! How's everything going with you?

Treasured, send us the wallpaper please?! I also need to see this! And Sashimi, hope the renovation work is going well. We're not doing house work but have been doing a fair bit in the garden (i say we, mostly my husband, I know very little about plants!) and it has been lovely to be able to be outside a bit more the last few days-it has been such a cold period over here and everyone is sick of wearing big thick coats and loads of layers but I think spring has finally sprung, hurrah.

I'm fine thanks-my sister is due with her 2nd in a week and a half, can't believe how quickly it's come round. I'm feeling well but just look a bit fat at mo, ah well, it's that awkward nearly 18 weeks stage. Can you believe my work colleague still isn't back at work?! That's 12 weeks! It has been a great opportunity for me actually but has been quite hard work.

Lxb I hope you're doing well and Country, nice to hear from you!
Lauren, how much longer do you have left?

Hope you've all had good weekends crazy ladies xxxx


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## lauren26

Haribo :hi: nice to hear you're feeling well!! I hope you're not being overworked!! Wow, I can't believe you're 18w already! I have 18 days left--about 2.5 weeks. My mom keeps saying "any day now!" which frightens me because I don't want her to come too early! I suppose they come when they're ready, though.

I just had my second prenatal massage. This one was a gift from friends which is very sweet. The woman came to my house which is also nice. It was definitely relaxing though she did talk quite a bit during and I found myself getting a little distracted from the massage lol.


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## SashimiMimi

Haribo it is so good to see an update from you! I'm glad you are doing well. Can you believe you are almost 50% through your pregnancy? Do you think you'll find out the gender or will it be a surprise?

I think the problem with living in a big city is there are all types of people... some who are rude and just don't know any better. I seem to attract the craziest person in the room and it seems to happen more during pregnancy. I was at a play last night and some random stranger came up to me, pointed at my stomach and said "Is that a baby in there?" When I said "Um.. yes." he said "Please don't go into labour during the play!!" I smiled and nodded and backed away slowly, but I really wanted to explain even if I did go into labour it doesn't happen in 7 minutes like in the movies! LOL

Everything has been worked out with my dad and the situation of him wanting my mom go with him to my cousin's wedding 6 hours away right around my due date. It took my mom to just sit down and be honest with him and everyone is relieved. 

Still miss all of you ladies.


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## treasured

Hi ladies. I actually have one roll of the amazing paper left haha so you can fight it out for it :p my OH actually chose it but I loved it too! Good style huh? We are actually almost finished with the decorating and things cause the place was pretty up to date! So we are settling in nicely :) I was away from home for a few days and realy missed it so at least it feels like home already :) tomorrow I am going to join me and oh to a new medical practice and muster up the courage to make an appointment to discuss ttc. We are also going to join the gym which is litearly opposit our house soo we are going to get fit together! I had been feeling a little distanced from oh recently due to his new job and things but I brought it up with him and the other night we watched a film called the five year engagement and I could tell it kinda hit a nerve with him and since then he has been really sweet/ loving haha! And I have been showing more interest imwhat he has been doing too which I think has helped :) 

Aanyway AF arrived today but I cant seem to get up set about it anymore, is that bad? I just dont feel like it will ever happen! It's frustrating! 

Omgg Lauren and sashimi your both so close!! How are you both feeling? You'll soon meet your longgggg awaited babies ! :)

Haribo- you are almost half way ahh! Hope you are enjoying pregnancy :)

Country- how are you loving being a mum?! 

Lxb- hope everything is going swimmingly im going to pop to your blog to catch up! 

Pino- come back hun! I miss you xx


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## Pino6161

Treasured--- I have seen the movie. You and Joe are nothing like that!! Making an appt sounds great!! I feel the same way towards TTC these days. I haven't been doing anything actively lately. I can only tell when I O'd cause of the cramps day of O.

Sash--- I am glad you and your dad has worked everything out... It suprises me how dese people can be sometimes :shrug: Will the renos be done in time for the baby? I love renovating and changing everything!! Those woman are horrible!! I hate how many people have such problems with regnancy or those pregnant. How do they think they cam into this world?? A stork?? UGH

Country--- I am amazed that Graham is almost 2 months!! Time goes by SOOOOO fast!! How are you enjoying motherhood??

lxb--- You have a rasberry in your belly :hehe: How are you feeling about everything???

Lauren--- Only 17 days to go!! Is your bag packed and ready to go? Birth plan? LOL I can't believe how quickly time is flying.... Your prenatal massage sounds heavenly :D

Haribo--- Your are almost half way right?? You need to get a ticker LOL that way I can keep track :D



As for me I have been quietly stalking all of your guy's journals. It's been a bit hard lately. I recently hit my 3 year mark and I kind of shut down after that. TTC seems like nothing. Of course it is constantly on my mind, but it's a depressing thing.

My interview is over LOL. I had 2 for different jobs. One is technical support for apple and the other is just a video store. I got the job at Zerox(technical support). Then I had the interview yesterday for the video store I passed the first 2 interviews and now they want me to talk a test and have ANOTHER interview. I was shocked!! It's a video store for goodness sake!!! Anyways I turned them down and took the Zerox job. I start training on the 15th.

My and OH put a deposit on the apartment and we move in the 15th of May. Thank goodness LOL.

TTC wise I am 7 DPO but am getting my normal cramps so expect AF in a couple of dayds :shrug:


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## treasured

Pino!


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## SashimiMimi

How did I miss Pino's post? Sounds like you are settling in nice. Good luck with the training on Monday!!

Treasured just out of curiosity where did you get that wallpaper. Doubt there is anything nearly a cool in Canada but I'm now hellbent on googling whatever brand it is and seeing what I can find around here!


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## treasured

Sash I got it from B&Q. Not sure if they have those stores outwith UK.


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## countrygirl86

This thread fell off my list, not cool! How is everyone?

Little G and I are doing well, making it through each day constantly learning! I think of you ladies often. I look forward to the day we are all posting pictures of our LOs and planning our get together! Hope you are enjoying your spring :)


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## countrygirl86

Anybody there? lol


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## SashimiMimi

I really miss this thread. We are such a crazy group of ladies and I miss hearing about what's going on it everyone's lives!!


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## lauren26

Getting induced in a few hours crazy ladies! I also miss you all and want to hear how it's going!


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## lxb

Hehe funny I checked this thread this morning and have it open so I can response. But then someone needed to borrow my pc and I forgot what I was doing already!

I miss the never ending catching up with the crazy lady thread! :haha:

Will be thinking about you all night and all day tomorrow!!! Eek!! Exciting!!


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## lxb

Hehe funny I checked this thread this morning and have it open so I can response. But then someone needed to borrow my pc and I forgot what I was doing already!

I miss the never ending catching up with the crazy lady thread! :haha:

Will be thinking about you all night and all day tomorrow!!! Eek!! Exciting!!


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## haribo813

Oh my god Lauren, good luck! So exciting, can't believe it! 9 months seem to have passed very quickly. Tell us what you choose to name her!

I feel like the weeks are slipping by here too. The sunshine this week is very exciting. We have a long weekend coming up and I can't wait-although my husband will be in the States from Thu-Mon on a work trip-not cool! I went to see Beyonce last night though with my mum and two sisters though, it was a lot of fun, she is such a great performer! Did I tell you that my sister has had her 2nd baby? Another little girl! She's gorgeous and we now have 3 nieces. Work's going really well, I am really enjoying it.

How is everyone else? Not long to go for you either Sashimi!

Pino/Treasured, hope all is well with you both with your various moves/jobs and settling in!
xxx


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## SashimiMimi

Hi Haribo! I can't believe that your sister had the baby already, I remember when you told us she was pregnant again! Actually I can't believe I'm full term and that my due date is this month either. 

How are you feeling? I can't remember if i asked this, but will you be finding out your baby's gender or will it be a surprise? I'm glad to hear that work is going well and that you are enjoying it.


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## haribo813

Wow, you're so close! Very exciting.

My sis' 2nd little girl is gorgeous, really sweet!

I have a scan on Wed (22 weeks) and we're not going to find out the sex...Finding boys' names harder than girls' though! I'm sure we're having a little boy!

Hope everyone's well and enjoying the weekend, great news about Lauren's little girl Frances, very sweet xxxxx


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## countrygirl86

Haribo, good for you not finding out the sex! I take my hat off to you, we couldn't wait! We also found boys names more difficult but the right one came to us once he was born. Sashimi and I both had feelings it was a boy and Lauren that it was a girl and we were all right! So maybe you do have a little blue bump :)

Congratulations to Lauren! Frances is such a pretty name and I'm sure she'll be a sweetie just like her mama!

How's everyone else?


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## lxb

Haribo~ you need a ticker~ :haha:

I can't believe we've already have 3 moms here~ !

How's everyone doing? Hope all the crazy ladies are doing well~ :hugs:


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## lauren26

Thanks, crazy ladies!! Haribo, you DO need a ticker :) How are we supposed to stalk you? ;) I was just thinking of this thread, too, and saw that lxb updated! Hope everyone is well.


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## lxb

:wave: Missing you crazy ladies~~

:kiss:


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## SashimiMimi

Me too. Hope everyone is well. Xoxo last night was the super moon and it reminded me of the crazy ladies.


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## lauren26

I missed the super moon!! :( it was rainy here.


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## countrygirl86

Super moon! I missed it too. And I miss you all too.


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## treasured

I miss this thread too. I remember coming on and having to scroll through about 4 pages to catch up! Things have moved waaay on! I have finally plucked up some courage and have told my best friend about my troubles, it was an amazing weight off my shoulders just to talk about it. She was really supportive too :) I am also being brave and going to the doctors on Thursday with OH to get things started. Its almost 2 years now and its starting to freak me out, we've actually not TTC'd for about 6 months and I feel we are going to hate it soon. OH also leaves town in 3 weeks so I guess we should try to find out whats up before that. 

Hope everyone else is ok and I am facebook stalking you all  (well the ladies I have on FB). Just thought I'd update. 

xxx


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## lauren26

Hi treasured!! So nice to hear from you :) That kitten of yours is adorable!! I'm really happy to hear you're getting checked out. Please let us know what information you get. How's it going having OH working away from home?


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## lxb

treaured - Good luck at your appt tmr~~ and yes~ keep us updated!!!


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## SashimiMimi

Treasured thanks for updating!! I love all the baked goods you post on FB! They all look so delicious I just want to show up at your house

Please let us know how the appointment goes!!

Pino where are you?


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## treasured

Nice to hear from you all :)!

I have been to the doctors today with OH (who was REALLY great asking questions etc) and boy I was working myself up for NOTHING!! My doctor was a real breath of fresh air; didn't mention anything about our age, although I brought it up as I felt it was necessary to point out why we were worried! She said we were totally right to get things checked out and didn't give us any rubbish about carrying on trying by ourselves. So I am going in for bloods on day 21 and OH has a SA to do and then if that comes back fine we will be referred to the infertility clinic! Ball is rolling ladies :)
I also have been given an interview for a nursing degree course which starts in september! So in 3 years I could be a qualified nurse :) Not sure how this will fit in with baby making but I guess I will just have to take things as they come cause I can't pass up an opportunity like that!

How is everything going in your worlds? Maybe I'll post out some baking for you guys!

Also, I'm sure Pino wont mind me just saying that she has a lot of stuff on right now and working really hard in her new job which she loves!! :D xxxx


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## lauren26

Yay!! I'm so glad your appt went well and that the dr isn't wasting any time getting you answers. And bravo to OH for getting his SA right away. I'm eager to hear how this all goes and am excited for you. Amazing about nursing school too!


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## lxb

yay for getting the ball rolling~! :thumbup: :thumbup:

and yay for nursing degree interview!! :dance: definitely don't let the opportunity pass by~ Our plan always changed in life especially when it decided to throw a curve ball at us. So we'll just need to take it one thing at a time and make the decision as we see fit.

Mmm.... your baked goodies looked soooo good!! I haven't been baking much lately... I want to eat cupcakes but I'm too lazy to bake :shy:


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## treasured

Soooo.... I went this morning for my first blood work! Testing for thyroid, progesterone, LH and FSH and some other things I think. Should have the results back in around a week so I will make another appointment with the doctor to discuss the results. Feel so liberated! Haha! 

x


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## lxb

Eek!! So exciting!! The ball IS rolling! :dance: :dance:


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## lauren26

So happy for you treasured!! Please let us know what you find out :) btw your kitten is sooo cute.


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## treasured

Thanks guys! Ill keep you all posted. Ohh I know she is, except not at 6am when she cries to wake me up. Preparing me for the future I suppose .


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## lauren26

Lol definitely!! How's it going w your OH's new job?


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## SashimiMimi

I was thinking of you today treasured! Thanks for updating can't wait to hear about the follow up appointment!


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## Pino6161

I everyone!! Sorry it has been so long!! I need to catch up on journals, and hopefully I will in the next couple of days! 

Things have been really crazy, and I will try to update soon! I just wanted you all to know, I am still here and ok, just swamped LOL


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## SashimiMimi

Pino!!!! So glad to hear from you xoxoxo can't wait to hear how you are doing


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## lauren26

Hi Pino! :hi: So nice to hear from you!! :D Can't wait to hear how everything's going with your and DH's new life in OK!


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## treasured

Hey gang! So I called the doctors this morning and asked for my test results and she told me everything was 'normal'. Now I am obviously kind of happy that this is fine but now I am thinking that it must be something more serious. She didnt give me any details at all though and I am unsure of exactly what they were testing. Did you ladies get a proper break down and explanation? I tried to book an appointment to speak to the doctor about it but they were fully booked in advance. Sometimes the NHS frustrates me! So I will have to wait and call in the mornings. 

I guess that means that I have good progesterone levels and that my thyroid is fine. I think they were testing for testosterone, LH and FSH as well but I dont know what they are supposed to be like anyway. 

HMMM. Anyone shed some light on what this actually means from here haha? 

xxx


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## SashimiMimi

Treasured sounds like they did the basic tests. Mine were all normal too! Dont worry about it being something more serious. You may just end up being in the unexplained category which is frustrating or if it is something else they can fix it. Whatever it is I'm positive they will find a protocol that works for you. I seem to recall you saying you had surgery some years back? Could scar tissue maybe be blocking things? This happened to my cousin after she had her appendix out and now she has triplets!! She did IVF because the scar tissue was blocking things from happening naturally.

Now if your levels are all normal it could just be that you aren't ovulating regularly. That can be solved simply by taking medication and doesn't require a lot of intervention. 

In my case some of the blood tests showed I had a low ovarian reserve (basically means I have ovaries that are older than my actual age!!) and the IVF showed I have an egg quality issue. I can relate to you on how frustrating it is when all the initial tests come back normal and you wonder what the heck it could be. Fertility is such a mystery but you will get pregnant! You are on the right path getting help. Just keep asking questions and keep trying for an appointment to have everything explained to you and figure out next steps!


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## lxb

like sashimi said, definitely don't worry about it being something more serious. And yes, I did get a breakdown of what was tested and the result to see what the actual levels are compared to the rest of the population in the same age group.

did they say what the next step is? I know you've kept track of your cycles and seems like you have good LP and your temp seems to rise properly (good progesterone). did the SA result come back yet?


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## lauren26

Treasured I had to ask what the levels were and what they meant and what the next steps were etc. Can you ask for a specific test or ultrasound? Like sashimi said I know you will get pregnant and it may just take some deeper investigation. All of my tests were 100% normal and even good and the issue was a complete mystery until they did an ultrasound, and then once they knew there were very specific ways to deal with what they found.

Can you ask for an hsg? If you did have a surgery it could be worth it to see if your tubes are open. The SA is also easy and will be really informative! I know it can be frustrating to get inconclusive information but you are on the right path and we are thinking about you and rooting for you!


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## SashimiMimi

Treasured please feel free to message me on FB any time if you have any questions or just want to vent! It was a year ago today that I started my IVF injections and it was a really scary and uncertain time. I just went with the flow and definitely didn't ask enough questions as I was so overwhelmed with the fertility treatment process!

Pino: thinking of you! Hope you post an update soon!


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## treasured

Thanks ladies, although I am a little uncertain of what is going on I am definitely happy to get this going! I just find it strange that there is no break down of my results, I even went into the doctors practice yesterday and was told that there was no break down of results and that it just comes back 'normal'. Its hard to believe without seeing proper information :\. I guess as soon as I can get an appointment booked I can see about moving to the next step. Maybe its because we have the NHS they can't give me as specific results? Hmm.

Anyway thank you ladies! And sashimi I will definitely take you up on that I'm not sure what is going to happen with regards to fertility treatment because I don't know whether we would want to go straight ahead with IVF etc if that was needed. I wouldnt be 100% happy going through it by myself while OH is away for work, and I'm not sure we would even qualify due to our age....


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## SashimiMimi

Treasured you have every right to have a baby whether you are 21 or 41! No one can discriminate against a couple for wanting a baby! Things might run differently over there from a fertility treatment standpoint but I'd like to help in anyway I can!


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## countrygirl86

Hi everyone, it's so nice to see posts on here again! Treasured, I'm so glad you are in the next steps towards your BFP! I don't have any experience with the testing but I wish the best for you. You are such a sweet heart :)


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## Pino6161

Things have been rough lately. My job has been taking a lot out of me. This move has been both a blessing and a curse. The stress and financial complications has made it rough. With that said emotionally it has put everything into focus. Me and OH are closer than we have been in a long time.

We are not TTC as of now, but we are not preventing anything either. I did finally get insurance, but I am avoiding making the appointment. Not because of the age anymore but I am just worried about everything health wise.

My grandfather passed away last week, I am in a bit of a tougher spot emotionally.

Hopefully I can get back on here a little more often :D


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## lauren26

Pino!!! :hi: I'm so sorry things have been hard. I'm glad you have insurance regardless of whether you get testing :hugs: We've all missed you!


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## SashimiMimi

pino im so sorry to hear you're having a rough time! hugs to you. this too shall pass!


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## lxb

it's good to hear from you pino~ :wave:

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather :hugs:

thinking about you and hope for this rough patch to pass :hugs:


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## countrygirl86

Pino, sorry to hear about your grandfather and the rough patch. Hope we can be here for you and help you get through. It's good to hear you and DH are in a good place relationshipwise.


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## lauren26

Hey gals! No one's been on this for a year!!! I was just missing getting regular news about my crazy ladies. I hope everyone is doing great!


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## countrygirl86

Wow, that's a long time! How is everyone? It'd be nice to have a little update from everyone. Hard to believe it's going on 3 years since we all 'met'.


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## treasured

Hi girls!

God I can't believe its been another year :O

Still no baby for us..... :( But we haven't been properly TTC for a long time now. I've been putting off the doctor for a while but now I am going pretty regularly and am waiting for the results of repeat blood tests at the moment. The problem on this end is that unless we are actively trying RIGHT NOW there isn't much the fertility doctors can do for us.... So I am unable to find out specifically if my tubes are blocked I would have to rule out everything else first. Silly NHS budget! 

Anyway I'm still doing my nursing training and so I'm now in a tricky situation whether I carry on and complete my training or I go ahead and start the fertility process with the doctors. I'm scared if I leave it any longer things could get worse and more time will be wasted, but I also want to complete my training so I can practice as a qualified nurse instead of a care assistant. (MORE MONEY!) haha. 

Anyway I kinda know for sure now that there's something up because 3 years is a LONG time. Never in a million years thought it would be this hard :( 

How is everything going with everyone else? I am keeping up with you guys on facebook and I do think about you girls still and hope you are all doing well :) 

P.S All the wee ones are ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!

xxx


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## SashimiMimi

Treasured! It's so great to hear an update from you. I loved your Toronto vacation photos on Facebook and hope you had an amazing time here. I'm especially glad you got to try a Poutine!!!! I'm sorry to hear that you haven't found any answers and that they won't investigate without you actively trying. I hope that you do get your answers soon, but it also sounds like you have an amazing opportunity with nursing. It's so hard when you don't know what the future holds and I know what it feels like to have that time pressure with ttc. But I say do what feels right to you and don't worry about the clock. 

I really can't believe it was March 2012 that we all came together on here. I will always be grateful for the amazing support from everyone. Those were some really dark times for me and I only got through it because of the crazy ladies. 

Well some of you know from Facebook that my son Levi is going to be a big brother in March! I'm still actually shocked even though I'm 15 weeks pregnant. Now if you recall my doctor told me I would never ever be able to conceive naturally because of my poor egg quality and if I waited more than a year to try for IVF again, I had low chances of success since I technically have "old" ovaries. Over the summer I started to see lots of pregnant moms with toddlers and I felt sad that Levi would likely never have a sibling, but I was okay with that because we have him. I had accepted he would be an only child although we agreed to try IVF one more time down the road. I just wasn't emotionally ready now. My period returned in March and we started kind of ttcing in April. I wasn't charting just guessing when ovulation was. April and May were both BFNs so I had accepted it wasn't going to happen on it's own. In June I used an OPK and we tried a couple times during the + time. I didn't think much of it but started to feel a little off and had a late AF. I used one of those cheap strip HPT and it was negative, but when I checked later there was the faintest of lines. The same thing happened the next day. Finally I caved and bought a FRER. I felt foolish for buying it, so I completely fell off my chair when it was positive. So I'm not sure exactly how I got pregnant naturally but I am incredibly grateful. I am also very nervous to have two babies under the age of two and worry about how Levi will react, but I am thankful he will have a sibling! I kind of feel like I cheated here, by IVF wa a very hard experience and I am thankful I didn't have to go through it again.


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## lauren26

Treasured I'm so glad you updated the crazy ladies! I have been missing hearing about you :hugs: It's so irritating that you can't get the full range of tests if you're not officially TTC, though it makes sense that they have specific funding etc. It sounds like a very tough decision but the one area where the "Don't worry, you're young" advice might apply is with your career! Can you defer your program if you decide to TTC? I 100% get wanting to get on with it so you can move up and earn more money and be more satisfied with your work, too. I have found it hard to walk away from my "career" and everything that goes along with that and I do feel like I've been out of the game a while so I might face trouble re-entering the workforce. I don't know about the UK, but in the states nurses are always in demand and taking a break hasn't affected the career of any nurses I know. Is it the same there?

Anyway, I am really glad you posted! Keep us updated about what you decide to do. It's a tough decision but you'll know what's right! :hugs:


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## treasured

Hi girls! Thank you for the supportive words! Sash I am soo amazed and happy that you were able to conceive naturally and it gives me such hope for the future :) I hope this is a great pregnancy! 

Soo, OH and myself went to see the doctor today to get the result of my blood tests- which are all normal! We have suggested to get refered on to the fertility clinic :) OH is going back in a few weeks to have his bloods done and then our doctor will refer us! So the ball is rolling- although I have no expectation of anything happening straight away so I'm carrying on with my training regardless! I am able to take a year or two out of my training so have decided that that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Hopefully by the time anything happened I would only have 1 more year to go anyway :) I had an interview today for another job which allows me to do clinical support work while I am in university so hopefully that will allow me to save some money up in case I have to take time out! 

Anyway that's our update for now bit would love to hear more from you all! Hope everyone's well xxx


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## lxb

:wave: so great to hear from you girly~~

i miss you crazy onesss~ :hugs: hope you are all doing well~ :hugs:


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## lauren26

Well I'm sure it was a relief to get normal test results and also to be pushed through to a specialist! I imagine with a specialist you'll get a pinpointed reason pretty quick--let's hope so anyway :) It's great news you have so much flexibility with your program! And that you can pick up more work while you're studying. 

Off topic but... does fall happen in Scotland? Like leaves changing? I imagine it does and that may be a silly question... :)


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## treasured

Yess it feels a bit better that things will be taken out of our hands a bit.

Yep we do Lauren, although not as pretty as it happens over there I don't think. Just gets really chilly! !!


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## treasured

Hello! Update:

So a bit of slightly surprising news from the doctors surgery when OH called to get his blood results. Everything is fine excent from his fsh levels which are slightly raised. Now I know I shouldn't go all panic stations but I completely freaked out. All I remember about fsh is that it can mean testicular failure in men. And OH has had problems in that area before due to testicular torsion :( . I have prepared myself this entire time for the problem to be me. I was the one that was broken. And now it could be somthing completely different? WHAT?! Obviously we don't know the extent of the problem and it could very well still be my issue but I am jumping way ahead of myself here and having terrible thoughts about how I might not have this problem if it wasn't for OH. How horrific of me. It just terrifies me cause I don't think there is much that can be done for testicular failure. It's confusing though cause I'm sure his last sperm test was normal I was sure. Hmm. 

Anyway we have managed to book an appointment at the start of December and we will get refered to the fertility specialist who can go over all this in more detail! In the meantime I just need to stop over analysing and convince OH that he doesn't need to worry.

Easy :(.

Sorry for a rant! Hope everyone is ok! Xxx


----------



## lauren26

Hi Treasured! I'm so glad you updated us. It makes sense that the news is shocking and upsetting. I have a friend whose body is perfectly capable of making babies but her husband was born without a thyroid and has basically zero sperm count, and I know how hard it's been for her knowing she could conceive herself just fine. Their difference is that she's always known it was her DH who had the problem--I can't imagine how helpless it would feel to find that out :hugs: It's good news that he had a normal sperm test and I feel like I remember you telling us about his good test, so perhaps it was a fluke! And slightly elevated doesn't necessarily mean testicular failure, right? I'm glad you have your specialist appointment and I hope they get to the root of it quickly and put your mind at ease. In the mean time, we are here!!!


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## SashimiMimi

I'm so glad to hear an update from you, Treasured. I wouldn't be too alarmed over slightly raised levels, although it is so easy to google this stuff and get panicked. It's great that you have an appointment so soon and can finally get some solid answers, then come up with a plan. The main thing is to find what is causing the problem and then deal with it from there, no matter who's problem it is. My husband works with an IVF mom who was a huge support to us when we went through IVF. Her husband has an extremely low sperm count, but they still found success through IVF. All it takes is one sperm and one egg!! This mom told me how she found it really hard to deal with when she found out her husband had the issue. She blamed his lifestyle of using hot tubs every day and drinking tons of diet coke as the cause of his extremely slow sperm. But they ended up having a beautiful little boy!

When I was told I had a low ovarian reserve, which basically means I have old ovaries, I was really upset and felt like it was game over. But there are so many solutions for a wide variety of problems. And eventually it just works when you find the right solution for you.

I'm excited to hear what your doctor has to say at your next appointment. Good luck and please keep us posted. I'll be thinking of you!


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## countrygirl86

I'm thinking of you treasured. It's not easy hearing there's a problem anywhere but at least you are getting to the root of it now. Like Sashimi said, all it takes is one egg and one sperm so even if it's a low count, it's still very possible you'll end up with a baby. Hoping you are finding peace with the news so far and the information you find out next will be useful and promising!


----------



## treasured

Hey girls. 

I have NO idea if anyone still uses this page but I just came on to read over my posts from years ago and thought I'd share an update :)

It's been an absolutely ridiculous amount of time since we started this page and so much has happened. I'm gutted that I've not been able to conceive naturally after all this time but I now know exactly what the cause is and am on the right road.

I've also completely finished my training and am now a fully qualified nurse, hope to be starting a new job in the next few months! So I guess at least if I hadn't had all these issues I never would have achieved that. (One positive thing haha)

Anyway, we decided to defer IVF for 6 months so that I could complete my course and we are now due to begin treatment with my November cycle! Since I last posted I have discovered I had blocked tubes and the fluid was poisining any potential egg that made it through, so I had an operation last November to remove one tube. The other was supposedly open but nothing has happened since then so I'm sceptical. 

I'm pretty pissed cause all of this was due to complications with previous surgical adhesions and infection which could have maybe been avoided. But anyway I'm still vaguely positive. IF IVF is successful i will be monitored really closely as my womb is attached to my bowel with scar tissue and could cause a perforation during preganancy. Yay!

So that's me! Hope you ladies are all doing well and I'd love to hear from you al, if you read this! 

Xxxxxx


----------



## SashimiMimi

Oh my gosh! I check this sometimes but it never ever says I have any new threads to read! Lauren mentioned you were trying to connect!
I am so glad you got some answers and have a plan. What a relief! And congrats to you on completing your nursing program and starting a new job. What an achievement!!!
Well you know that I went through IVF, so if you have any questions I'm happy to answer. I know it can be daunting when they describe these issues with scar tissue etc, but they will monitor you closely and it sounds like you are in good hands!!

We actually ran into my fertility doctor this summer at a sports store. It was totally random but we were with our boys and he was buying hockey equipment for his sons! We have often told Levi a special Doctor made it possible for him to be born. We were able to introduce Levi to this doctor who made his life possible and tell him how grateful we are! Sometimes I ask Levi what took him so long to be born. He says he was "too busy working on a computer." And it was "very annoying" when I kept calling him before he was ready. Lol! 

Well treasured I am excited for you. I think babies all have a time they are supposed to be born and I think now will be the time for your baby to come. Please keep us all posted on what's happening with the IVF! I will be thinking of you!


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