# Advice from adopted people & people who have adopted



## x_Rainbow_x

I have a few questions if you dont mind.. 

*For People whov adopted a child*

What made you desided to adopt
how long was the process
what did it all include

*For the adopted*

How did you feel knowing you was adopted
Have you ever tryed to find your birth parents


Any other info would be greatly apprechiated​


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## Tiff

:flower:

I was adopted!

How I felt about it:

Truthfully, it affects everyone differently I suppose. I was adopted at the age of 21 months, and my parents told me from the very beginning that they had adopted me. However, I didn't understand it. Kind of like "The sky is blue" "I'm adopted", meant the same thing to me. 

I was about 7 or so I was watching a program on TV and it was about adoption. I knew enough that it meant something pertaining to me. I went upstairs and asked my Mom about it. She figured that since she had said things from the get-go that I understood it and just went "Well, you're adopted". I freaked out, because what I had seen was a child being taken from one family (foster family) and put into another family (adoptive family). I thought someone was going to take me from my parents.

It was confusing for me, and tbh my Mom (I love her more than anything) just isn't good with this sort of thing. When I was 16 and being a teenager (ie - Brat!) she threatened to send me back to CAS and I could be adopted by someone else and become someone else's problem. That cut me to my CORE, and I will probably carry the hurt from that for the rest of my life. I know she didn't mean it, she says things she doesn't mean when she's frustrated or angry, but as someone who isn't "blood" related there's always that feeling of not belonging. 

My Mother always tried to blame my adoption as the reason WHY I was upset or angsty. I finally had to tell her that the only time I ever felt adopted is when she would constantly bring it up to me. On the other hand, my father is absolutely AMAZING and I have never once felt anything other than the fact that he loves me, and I'm 100% part of the family. I really do think its my Mom's inability to really deal with heavy situations.

(Hope that doesn't scare you off! If you have any Q's at all, I don't mind answering!)

Have I tried to find my birth parents?

Yes. 

It didn't go so well. I filled out the forms when I was 18 to find them, and a few years later (because of the backlog) I got a call saying that they weren't on the "reunion registry". I left it alone for awhile as I was really upset and had wanted to meet them. The biggest thing I can say is don't make the mistake that my Mom did, and try to make it seem "not as bad". I mean, you don't need to get too into it, but my Mom assured me that my BM wanted me, loved me but just couldn't do it and blah blah blah. So I went for 18 years thinking that she'd WANT to find me. It isn't always the case!

I tried again a few years ago. The CAS has you fill out a form with stuff that you want your birth parents to know. There wasn't much info on my Birth Father so I was just going to try and find my Birth Mother. CAS sent her a letter asking her to respond, and she didn't. CAS sent a registered letter (meaning she'd have to sign for it to get it) and she did, and she still didn't respond. That was a pretty low blow as well for me, if she had responded she would've been able to read what I had written and know that I wasn't wanting to complicate things for her, wasn't wanting anything from her and if she was in a place in her life where it was easier if I didn't exist then that was okay... I just wanted my medical history.

Nothing.

So yeah. Don't try to make it into something it isn't. I would've been much better off if my Mother had been honest with me and explained how some people just aren't meant to be parents, don't have the capacity to love or do what it takes... etc, rather than how desperately she wanted me but just couldn't do it.... if that makes sense?


Whew! Sorry for the long novel. :shy:


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## JASMAK

I am going to answer for my husband. He was adopted at 5 days old. He does not know anything about his 'birth mother'. The only thing he knows was that his birth mother was young and had a son already, and couldn't afford another baby. He has never tried to find his birth mother and has no desire to. He also did not ever think about his adoptive parents. He always tells me (because I ask all the time and when we were considering adoption, I picked his brain about it) that the ONLY time he ever thinks about his birth mom is when other's talk about it.

HTH.


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## jenny_wren

both my mum and aunt were adopted
when they were babies as my grandma
couldn't have children ... my mum and aunt
aren't blood related either

all my mum knows is her birth mothers name
and that she was very young when she had
her ... she also knows she had more children
after my mum ... but she doesn't want to track
her down or find her blood relatives ... to her
my grandma and grandad will always be her
real mum and dad :flower:

i dont go into great detail about it when i speak
to my mum because i was only told recently and my
aunt doesn't talk about it at all again she doesn't want
to know her birth parents and would rather just not
think about it i suppose but i guess we all think the
same ... blood doesn't make a family love does and i personally
dont think of grandma or my aunt any differently they're
still family in my eyes :thumbup:

xxx​


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## MySillyGirls

Hello! My husband and I have two daughters ages 7 and 6. We adopted our youngest daughter from Russia when she was 13 mos old. We had a bio daughter at the time who was 2 1/2 and we decided we wanted to adopt our second child. We were not having fertility problems, just a desire to add to our family in this way. My husband and I both came from families that cherished adoption so it was close to our hearts.

The process took almost a year and involved a few social worker visits to write our homestudy, police reports stating we were free from serious crimes, an affidavit from our accountant that we were financially stable, etc. We also needed fingerprints verified by the fbi. We were guided through this whole process by a wonderful adoption agency. Ultimately, we traveled to Russia 3x...to meet and spend time with our daughter, for court and then to bring her home. 

Our daughter is ours in every way. We love her tremendously..she is an amazing little girl. Recently, we have decided to try to have another biological child. We started trying 5 mos ago and we have decided that we will adopt again if we are not pregnant in the next 6 mos (although we are not sure if we will pursue domestic or international adoption). I am 37 and my husband is 40 so that is a very real possibility. 

"Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone. But still, miraculously, my own. Don't ever forget, not for a minute..you weren't born under my heart, but in it."

Good luck!


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## MySillyGirls

Oh, as an fyi, we did hire a searcher in Russia who found our birthfamily. We have extensive photos, videos, interviews, medicals etc. This is becoming much more common as an option with international adoption.


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## kiwimama

MySillyGirls said:


> Hello! My husband and I have two daughters ages 7 and 6. We adopted our youngest daughter from Russia when she was 13 mos old. We had a bio daughter at the time who was 2 1/2 and we decided we wanted to adopt our second child. We were not having fertility problems, just a desire to add to our family in this way. My husband and I both came from families that cherished adoption so it was close to our hearts.
> 
> The process took almost a year and involved a few social worker visits to write our homestudy, police reports stating we were free from serious crimes, an affidavit from our accountant that we were financially stable, etc. We also needed fingerprints verified by the fbi. We were guided through this whole process by a wonderful adoption agency. Ultimately, we traveled to Russia 3x...to meet and spend time with our daughter, for court and then to bring her home.
> 
> Our daughter is ours in every way. We love her tremendously..she is an amazing little girl. Recently, we have decided to try to have another biological child. We started trying 5 mos ago and we have decided that we will adopt again if we are not pregnant in the next 6 mos (although we are not sure if we will pursue domestic or international adoption). I am 37 and my husband is 40 so that is a very real possibility.
> 
> *"Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone. But still, miraculously, my own. Don't ever forget, not for a minute..you weren't born under my heart, but in it."*
> 
> Good luck!

What a beautiful poem! Brought a bit of a tear to my eye! :flower:


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## Celesse

My sister was adopted. She is biologically the daughter of a family member and my parents wanted to give her a good home. A lot of plans where made pre-natally. She came to live with us when she was tiny, but it took a year until she was properly and legally adopted. I think she has always felt a little different to the rest of us as she does look quite different. She has met her birth mother and would rather not have anything to do with her. 

If you wanna know more feel free to pm me. Its not my story to tell so dont wanna go into detail on a public forum iykwim.


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## dawny690

Tracie87 said:


> *For the adopted*
> 
> How did you feel knowing you was adopted
> Have you ever tryed to find your birth parents
> [/COLOR]
> 
> Any other info would be greatly apprechiated



Im adopted hun, for me I knew from the age of 5/6 that I was adopted and tbh at first I was too young to understand what it ment I had been in foster homes before and was 4 1/2 when I was adopted but dont really remember the foster homes much. And my adopted family I saw as my real family a scrap book was made for me by social services and adopted parents to help me understand also included pictures of me when I was a baby/young child it wasnt til I was older I understood what adoption ment and I and my two older adopted brothers didnt have the best childhoods both my older brothers have been in prison something which they are not proud of now but they were young and rebelled badly to the way our adopted parents brought them up I was treated almost as badly they were strict beyond strict I rebelled and left home at 18 ran away at 16 but felt forced to go back by adopted dads friends in the old bill (adopted dad was a copper) so went home reluctantly.

I tried to find my real parents when I was younger to no avail I found them eventually last year and it was a bad idea as they weren't what I was expecting we have now lost contact with them as they werent that bothered with me :cry:

Anymore questions feel free to ask hun xxxx


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## shorman

I was adopted at 9 don't no who my birth dad is but haven't tried to get in contact with birth mum I had a lot of problems about being adopted when I was younger never really felt comfortable or assured I could talk about it with my mum who adopted me as didn't want to upset her but I have grown and I am happy and secure that my parents love me and very happy with my life now I have my own family and I feel very blessed I have loving caring parents. X


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## morri

I came to my foster mum , when I was 5 years old. I am still related biologically because she is the sister of my birth mum.


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## MrsNovBaby

Hi, I am adopted. I was adopted when I was 6 weeks old, I was born to a very young Mother. I have always known and always felt that my parents (adoptive) were my real parents, they have been through everything with me, seen me grow up and been my parents (they are the best). I have no desire to find my birth parents. I just get a little infuriated when newspapers always put 'adoptive parents' in when writing a story about a celeb who has adopted when it has nothing to do with the story. They are the real parents, who have cared for and loved the child. Other people may feel differently, but that is my personal opinion. xx


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## MoonMuffin

I was adopted, my parents brought me home when I was a day old. I've always known and have been ok with it, it helped that my parents were honest with me and explained it too me well (I didn't really get it at first because I was young, but we always talked a lot about it so it was fine really). My birth mother was very poor and only 18 when she had me and I knew she gave me up to give me a better life and I'm so grateful. My only issue is that I was an only child so I was lonely and socially awkward but I think that's to do with the only child thing more then the adoption thing.

I did actually meet my birthmother, birth stepfather (I call him this because though he is not my bio father he is the one that was there for my bio mom throughout the preg and birth) and they have 2 girls who are my bio half sisters. I'm very lucky because they are a loving family and we talk a good bit through facebook (they do not have phones). They love me very much and I do feel like part of their family. Of course my parents will always be my parents but its so nice to feel like a part of my bio family too (and its so great to see pics of them and see where I get certain features, etc.) its nice that we can all get along and be one big happy family. I know its not usually like this but we do what works for us.
No one ever believe that I'm adopted though because I look a lot like my parents :lol:

If you have any other questions feel free to PM me any time :D


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## craftymum

I was adopted as a baby, I was handed over to a foster carer until the adoption all went through and I was around 3 months old before I got to go home with my adoptive parents, to be honest I've always had major feelings of being abandoned and even now at 36 years old I still feel like I don't really belong with my family, my brother was also adopted but as children and still now he has always been the golden boy who could do no wrong and my Mum would be very close to his wife and children and me and mine kinda come second, I don't know why as I could understand that if my brother was her natural child but it can be so hurtful, I feel like I don't really have any family support apart from my hubby who is wonderful but these things really affect you in a major way. I have a 17 year old daughter and when I was pregnant with her my Mum suggested adoption and there was no way on this earth I could even think about giving her up, I took all my Mums parenting methods on board as I was only 19 and I didn't know any better now that I have Jacob (big age gap I know) I see now that my Mums methods were terrible and this is causing some conflict also - things like her wanting to give him chocolate and crap and me saying no and her acting like I don't have a clue. I had severe hyperemesis throughout my entire pregnancy and my Mum was never really there for me, she only called round for 20 minutes to make me some toast and the rest of the day I was in bed til my hubby came home from work :( I'm not close to my brother at all and it really upsets me as I know my biological parents had 3 other children before me and I'm a bit confused as to whether I want to see them or not, it also hurts that they 'kept' the other children but gave me up and not having a close relationship with my parents makes this sense of abandonment feel worse, I just want to feel normal and have a closeness with my Mum, I feel so jealous sometimes when I read about others and how great their Mum is, I also feel bad for thinking like this and I just feel like a moan but I guess every girl should feel like she can turn to her Mother and I really can't. :cry:


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## Blue12

I know that adoption may be in my future plans so I want to thank all of you for sharing your very personal stories. Together we all make better decisions.

Thank you!


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## Zipp

Craftymum, I am so sorry that you have to feel that way. :hugs:

TBH I think with some women I don't think it would be different if its an adoptive mum or bio mum.

All my life I felt exactly like you with my bio mum and with my brothers. My mum has never been there for me and she has now moved to England and has dropped contact with all her children and family.

At the end of the day it's your mum who will loose out in having a wonderful daughter and grand children. :flower:


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## craftymum

Zipp said:


> Craftymum, I am so sorry that you have to feel that way. :hugs:
> 
> TBH I think with some women I don't think it would be different if its an adoptive mum or bio mum.
> 
> All my life I felt exactly like you with my bio mum and with my brothers. My mum has never been there for me and she has now moved to England and has dropped contact with all her children and family.
> 
> At the end of the day it's your mum who will loose out in having a wonderful daughter and grand children. :flower:

Thanks Zipp and I'm really sorry that things are bad between you and your Mum :hugs:


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## Dinoslass

Hello!

I see lots of you are adopted here. But I am the one who adopted!
We adopted three children from Hungary, they are biologically siblings as well, so they at least look like each other! We got them at the age of 6, 5 and 3. It takes a lot of time to finalize an adoption over here, so I won't go into all the paperwork, official stuff and heartache it brought us. 
We have always talked openly about it all, but then again the eldest even remember some things from Hungary, not from their biological family as they had been in orphanages for years already. We have stayed at their last orphanage so we know about it and can tell them things, but they mostly deny it all. They didn't have a good time there at all (abuse and all) and only the youngest who hasn't got any own memories is slightly interested in his birth country.
I think adoption is wonderful. It does give different problems as children struggle with abandon issues and roots, but in everyday life you are parents and they are children that you take care of and give you love and laughter and everyday problems!
We adopted to give some children a chance to have a home and a family, as we do with our holiday foster children.


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## fluffosaur

I work as a social worker in adoption so if anybody has any questions feel free to ask me them. I'll try and advise where I can ! I'll be starting work in fostering in about a month or so as a supervising social worker.

The process takes around 9 months and is a thorough assessment of every aspect of your lives. You can't hide anything from us. :) The average amount of time for a match to be made and approved after a couple have been approved as adopters is about a year, so don't be disheartened if you wait a long time.


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## CareBear

fluffosaur said:


> The average amount of time for a match to be made and approved after a couple have been approved as adopters is about a year, so don't be disheartened if you wait a long time.

Can I just say that this can depend on the area you live in, currently where I live there is a shortage of adopters so matches are being done a little quicker where as in other areas it can take longer.


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## Dinoslass

In my opinion that is not long at all. In Holland a regular adoption would take about 4-5 years from the time you file for adoption until you will actually have the child. This in my opinion is an insane long time and totally cruel to the parents that are wanting to be parents and in many cases also to the child, because it can happen that a child is bein appointed but still needs to stay in the country of origin for months sometimes even years until the actual move to their family.
Adopting goes through agencies that are appointed by the government to act in adoptions. The reasoning for the long waits (by them) is that there are more parents wanting to adopt than children. I am totally disgusted by that because I have seen the many orphanages abroad full of children that with a bit of legal work could be adopted out instead of spending their life in an orphanage without any relatives showing any interests in them whatsoever. I think the agencies here are keeping it like this to make it special and thereby expensive to adopt a child.
Also there is no adopting over the age of 6 (unless siblings together with one of them being under 6) and people tend to talk about older adoptive children if they are over 2 years old. I can imagine people wanting babies but I know not all bother about that but this way it doesn't give the so called older children much chances.
I have to say in Holland we are almost always talking about adopting abroad seeing the average wait for a dutch adoptive child is about 10 years I think.

Sorry for going on a bit, but it is something close to my heart!! My children were 6, 5 and 3 when they came to live with us, so all old children, though it never made a slight bit of difference to how we feel about each other. They are our children and though I regret not knowing them from an early age sometimes because they do ask questions that I can't answer (when did I start to walk and things like that) it has nothing to do how you love a child.


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## DottyLottie

craftymum said:


> I was adopted as a baby, I was handed over to a foster carer until the adoption all went through and I was around 3 months old before I got to go home with my adoptive parents, to be honest I've always had major feelings of being abandoned and even now at 36 years old I still feel like I don't really belong with my family, my brother was also adopted but as children and still now he has always been the golden boy who could do no wrong and my Mum would be very close to his wife and children and me and mine kinda come second, I don't know why as I could understand that if my brother was her natural child but it can be so hurtful, I feel like I don't really have any family support apart from my hubby who is wonderful but these things really affect you in a major way. I have a 17 year old daughter and when I was pregnant with her my Mum suggested adoption and there was no way on this earth I could even think about giving her up, I took all my Mums parenting methods on board as I was only 19 and I didn't know any better now that I have Jacob (big age gap I know) I see now that my Mums methods were terrible and this is causing some conflict also - things like her wanting to give him chocolate and crap and me saying no and her acting like I don't have a clue. I had severe hyperemesis throughout my entire pregnancy and my Mum was never really there for me, she only called round for 20 minutes to make me some toast and the rest of the day I was in bed til my hubby came home from work :( I'm not close to my brother at all and it really upsets me as I know my biological parents had 3 other children before me and I'm a bit confused as to whether I want to see them or not, it also hurts that they 'kept' the other children but gave me up and not having a close relationship with my parents makes this sense of abandonment feel worse, I just want to feel normal and have a closeness with my Mum, I feel so jealous sometimes when I read about others and how great their Mum is, I also feel bad for thinking like this and I just feel like a moan but I guess every girl should feel like she can turn to her Mother and I really can't. :cry:

I am so sorry :( I know it probably isn't much consolation but my bio mother is also like this and though she is around, we are not close and even some of us gals with bio mothers aren't best friends with our mums.
You are so fortunate to have your own beautiful family and that you love them and raise them in a way you missed out on - you should be super proud. I hope one day you find some peace with your situation, and like others have said, it is TRULY your mothers loss (both bio and adopted).

Sending you big love and happy thoughts <3


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## Blue_bumpkin

kiwimama said:


> MySillyGirls said:
> 
> 
> Hello! My husband and I have two daughters ages 7 and 6. We adopted our youngest daughter from Russia when she was 13 mos old. We had a bio daughter at the time who was 2 1/2 and we decided we wanted to adopt our second child. We were not having fertility problems, just a desire to add to our family in this way. My husband and I both came from families that cherished adoption so it was close to our hearts.
> 
> The process took almost a year and involved a few social worker visits to write our homestudy, police reports stating we were free from serious crimes, an affidavit from our accountant that we were financially stable, etc. We also needed fingerprints verified by the fbi. We were guided through this whole process by a wonderful adoption agency. Ultimately, we traveled to Russia 3x...to meet and spend time with our daughter, for court and then to bring her home.
> 
> Our daughter is ours in every way. We love her tremendously..she is an amazing little girl. Recently, we have decided to try to have another biological child. We started trying 5 mos ago and we have decided that we will adopt again if we are not pregnant in the next 6 mos (although we are not sure if we will pursue domestic or international adoption). I am 37 and my husband is 40 so that is a very real possibility.
> 
> *"Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone. But still, miraculously, my own. Don't ever forget, not for a minute..you weren't born under my heart, but in it."*
> 
> Good luck!
> 
> What a beautiful poem! Brought a bit of a tear to my eye! :flower:Click to expand...

Me too :hugs:

Hope you dont mind me answering... my cousin was adpoted. She died a few years ago, not long after giving birth.

She was adopted as a baby and loved my auntie very much. They were also unbelieveably close which most people found a bit odd tbh. When she was at school i remember my auntie gave my cousin a book to read to her class about adoption to help them understand. She was always very open with her from around school age (4/5) when they thought she was old enough to understand. She dealt with it brilliantly and never once tried to find her birth mother, to my knowledge. In her eyes, my aunt was all she needed and wanted in a mother and the curiousity for her was not important. I totally miss her and thank god every day that my aunt took the decision to adopt, otherwise she may never have come into our lives.

I wish you all the best in your future decisions. :hugs:


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## sun

MrsNovBaby said:


> Hi, I am adopted. I was adopted when I was 6 weeks old, I was born to a very young Mother. I have always known and always felt that my parents (adoptive) were my real parents, they have been through everything with me, seen me grow up and been my parents (they are the best). I have no desire to find my birth parents. I just get a little infuriated when newspapers always put 'adoptive parents' in when writing a story about a celeb who has adopted when it has nothing to do with the story. They are the real parents, who have cared for and loved the child. Other people may feel differently, but that is my personal opinion. xx

^^ I totally agree with this!

I was also adopted at 10 days old. I was adopted due to fertility issues, but as soon as the adoption went through, my parents got pregnant. So I am the only adopted person in my family. But really I never think of it at all - my siblings and parents are my "real" family. It used to bug me when I was a kid that people would refer to my birth mother as my "real" mother and ask lots of questions, but I came to realize that they didn't really know and were curious. I think it depends on the person how they are with it too - I have a friend who, even though he has great parents, has always resented the fact that he was adopted. He has always thought that his life would have been better if he grew up with his birth parents. That said, I know a few non-adoptees that also felt like they were alienated from their families and never really fit in. My family isn't perfect - there have been issues and my parents divorced when I was younger, but there is no perfect anyway. A family is a team that sticks together and works with what they have :thumbup:

I think adoption is such a great thing and OH and I would like to adopt as well. I would always tell the child about adoption from the start though - even young children can get a sense of what you are saying. I don't ever remember being told I was adopted - my parents told me right away. I also wouldn't want to search for my birth mother. I like the fantasy of a million possibilities - I am sure reality wouldn't measure up. And I can't help but think it would be awkward and weird. I do wish I could send an anonymous note that says I am happy and thank you, but mine is also a closed adoption and it would be a big ordeal. 
I can only hope she does not feel guilty or bad about it.

xx


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## ClaireNicole

Can I just say.... as someone who has been on the other end of adoption! When I was 16 I got pregnant and didn't have a choice but to put bubs up for adoption! It was the hardest thing i've ever done and the 3 days I got to spend with her in the hospital were the best in my life! Her parents (and that is how I think of them even though I am her birth mother) send me pictures and updates and are very cool and nice people and I know shes happy but not all women who put their babies up for adoption have a choice or want to! I honestly hope that she knows that I love her very much and I think about her every day and I really hope that one day she does want to meet me so she can know those things!

I'm 23 now and about to have a baby with my husband! But even that doesn't make me love my first baby less! I want the people who were adopted to know that not all adopted babies are put up because their parents are too lazy to take care of them or because their lives are bad. Sometimes its just what is best for the baby that is what is important


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## Hoping

I was adopted when I was 9 years old as my Mother died when I was 6 of breast cancer, and my Dad was an A - Hole who decided he would be better off without me in tow so he dumped me on family and went off and found a new wife and had another child. Family passed me around for a few years before they decided to get me adopted. Best thing that could have happened to me in hindsight though.
My natural Mother was also herself adopted as a baby as was her sister (they are not blood related). My natural mother's parents are no longer with us, but her sister (my aunt) is.
I always knew I was adopted and therefore have been OK with it. I have not tried to contact my birth Father as I hate him and cannot ever firgive him for abandoning me at a time when I needed him most. My parents are the people that raised me from 9 years, supported me through exams and uni and now enjoy the pleasure of being grandparents. My natural Father had a son who contacted me through friends reunited about 2 years ago. I am "friends" with him on facebook so he and my natural Father know about my son and my pregnancy. I hope that he feels gutted that he will never know my son and will never have the privilege of being a grandad to my kids. Somehow though, I don't think he gives a sh*t!


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## tinkerbell <3

i was adopted at 18 months with my brother..and i am soo sooo greatful i love my mum and dad soo soooo much i feel so lucky that they adopted me..i never rember actually being told i was adopted i just always knew i was...my mum always says that she forgets she never actually gave birth to me..we are no diffrent from every other mum and daughter....people even say we look alike..i think ive just picked up all her mannerisms as that is quite impossible haha! i dont want to find my birth mum..she is not my mum the person who loves you and holds youre hand through the good and bad times is youre mum...so it isnt something i want to do! hope that helped!


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## future_numan

My husband is adopted. They removed him from his birth mother when he was 8 months old ( she told child services that she wanted to return to school, when in actual fact she was pregnant again ) she had already given up one child before him and also gave up the one after him..he was the only one she brought home from the hospital..and all this was before she was 17yrs old..he was adopted by a christain family and even though they are loving people ( they went on to have two biological children ) his adopted mother blamed everything he did wrong on his being adopted. He still resents it. His father on the other hand is a wonderful loving man and doesn't treat him any different than his brother or sister. The problems with his adopted mother forced him to move out and live on his own when he was only sixteen.
When he was 28 he decided to look for his birth mother. Child services found her rather quickly but she didn't want any contact ( another blow to him ) but she did offer up medical history that went on to save his life. So I am greatful for that :flower: DH's birth mother wouldn't say who his birth father was except to say it was a man she went to the movies with..and made him promise to never try to contact her again.
The CAS worker was awsome and kept his file open and a couple of years ago she managed to find both his older and younger siblings.
Amazing enough the older sibling ( his sister ) only lives about 10km from our home.
The younger one had allot of issues to deal with and for the safety of our daughter we no longer have contact.
So good and bad has come out of this adoption.:thumbup:


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## happygirl666

I was adopted My birth mum is a prostaute and my dad is in jail for murder I do NOT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE I am glad I was adopted and I will be adopting one day to just to give a child a good life Like I had If it was not for my adopted fam god knows where I would be now All I low I would not be the person I am now A happy mum to a stuning son and engaged to the most beautiful sexy kind loving tattooed freak Iv ever met Darren is my world I must admit I do cry at night I am one of 14 that I have been told of It breaks my heart.


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## CourtneyD

my grandma placed a baby for adoption in the 50s. My best friend is adopted and my exhusband is adopted. It has alwasy had a huge part in my life. Now that I'm remarried my husband and I are trying to adopt. We are in the US and are so thankful for the openness that is allowed now! If you have any questions about the process for the adopting parents feel free to ask.


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## 17WithBumpyy

I'm adopted. Got put into care at 18 months adopted at 3 and a half. I'm a daddies girl through and through but for some reason me and my mum clash. We just don't have a bond.
I have so many questions and I don't know if my birth mother is dead or alive in the country or even living down my street. I know her first name and I have her eyes :) but now I have a daughter twins on the way and she should know she's has grandchildren. I'm also pretty ill and a family history would be really helpful right now


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