# Rant of an Infertile Woman



## lola13

I dont mean to offend anyone with this, but after 3+ years TTC, I feel entitled to a good rant. These grievances may not be logical, fair or shared by others, but as I said, I must have the right to _something _in this TTC hell. I fully acknowledge others have been through more than I have  I havent experienced the pain and loss of a m/c and certainly others have been ttc longer than 3 years. 

1)	*Bad Parents*  I cant quite figure out why God gives babies to some people. When I see a bad parent, sometimes I want to snatch the kid and run for it.
2)	*BFP Announcements on First Month TTC*  these girls are so annoying (I recognize its not their fault, but they still bug the crap out of me).
3)	*Complaints about how long its taking when theyve been TTC 3 months*  these girls really drive me crazy. Are you serious, you think its taking too long? Give me an effing break. Im sure youll get pregnant next month.
4)	*The cost* of ovulation tests, PG tests, clomid, IUI, and of course, the inevitable tampons. 
5)	*My step-mother-in-law*. I so dislike her that I missed a few months of TTC, questioning if I could handle being around her more if we have a baby.
6)	*Facebook*, How many times have I seen pics of old friends that have had 2 babies in the time Ive been trying for one. They just keep popping up with new pics. 
7)	*Unexplained infertility*  the frustration of knowing somethings wrong, but they just cant identify it. If I dont know what it is, how can I fix it?!!
8)	*Women who already have kids but act like the world is ending b/c they cant conceive #4*. This one might ruffle a few feathers, but you can hug your kids for a little comfort. Id like to experience motherhood, even if just once. I dont deny your pain is real, but hopefully you can understand my position, too.
9)	*The stress of planning sex around ovulation*. I am so sick of testing, giving DH the advance notice, planning work travel schedules around it, buying airline tickets so well be in the same place at the right time, and maintaining a hopeful attitude through it all.
10)	*People that ask when were having kids*.
11)	*People that have stopped asking when were having kids* (although this is preferred to those that still ask).
12)	*Clueless, but fertile, women*  Ive explained ovulation, temping, and OPKs to women whove had babies to help them conceive a second. Of course, theyre pregnant again.
13)	*Having to turn away when I see a baby*. I just cant deal with it anymore, so I act cold and distant to mask my real emotions.

Thanks for allowing me to vent. I appreciate having a safe place to let it out. I hope this isnt like Jerry McGuires memo, and I end up regretting it in the morning.


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## ermm23a

You left off the best one!!!!! When well meaning friends (who know you're TTC) tell you to "relax, it will happen when you're not trying."


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## genkigemini

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: I was LTTTC for a VERY long time too and I SOOOOOO get where you are coming from. I am a proud graduate but I will never forget those days so you have my complete understanding and sympathy. :hugs:


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## todteach

Sending you :hugs:. I know where you're coming from. xox


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## Blue12

My rant - if you don't mind me crashing your rant.....

Is that people who are not ready to ttc yet (may not even be in a relationship) assume that they will never run into infertility problems. 

I do think that it is much healthier to believe that you will not have fertility problems and that you will conceive. But honestly, you think you are invincible. And in some ways it feels like they look at you with "disgust" (not the right word) "pity" because something like this will never happen to THEM, unlike me.

I have had someone who is 35 and does not even have a partner say to me 
"I need to find a partner because I am running out of time" followed by 
"oh sorry I hope I didn't offend you". I thought gosh I am not offended one bit. This poor girl could be waiting for this guy all this time and then find out her or her partner have a problem and really be in trouble. SO I said no you totally didn't offend me. And she says "well, just you know that like you can't and have to go through this not like me"
***Honestly how does she know that she is "perfectly" fine.**** I hope for her sake she is because this is a devastating situation. BUT HONESTLY.

Then, I had someone else who was WTT. She tells me 
"oh hun, don't worry even when I get pg (she is wtt for another 2 years) I will still check up on you and support you through your journey"
All I could think was, what makes her so sure that she will not have problems either. And, do you see me as this defective person that will just never get there. They say they will support me, but more they just pity my situation and don't see my life moving forward, yet this will never afflict them. 
***Again I don't wish it for anyone, but HONESTLY***


I have one friend who is a counsellor and when she listens to me talk about this she is so realistic. She said it is healthy to think that you will not have problems ttc. But it is important to be aware that problems may occur. She has said that when people ask her about if/when/how many children she plans on having she always says if now, rather than when. She says she is still hopeful that she won't have problems, but is aware that it is a possibility.

Rant over.

Thank you for letting me rant.


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## lady blush

I so agree with you ladies.

I want to have a rant too pleas if you girls dont mind.

Ive been trying for 6 years now and every month is hell when the dreaded witch arrives.

My rant is about my sister in law she knows we are having troubles concieving and still she finds her self telling me how she has been to the doctors to have a scan bcoz she gets painful period's she says how her doctor said she is very fertile (she has no children yet) and that she realeases alot of eggs (ergghh excuse me but how the hell do you know your fertile just becoz you have a good test result 's doesent mean you are fertilie) she keeps going on how when she wants to concieve she will get pregnant on the first month, she rubs all of this in me and DH face( she is NOT DH sister she's dh brothers girlfriend).
The MIL is another story her and the sister inlaw are always on the fone to each other talking about me all the effing time she has even told the sister inlaw that she better hurry up and give her grand children bcoz she says she wont get eny from me and dh grrrrr what an effing cow.

The worst one is when your at a kids party and everyone has kids there and all they talk about is how easy they concieved etc.grrrrrrrrrr its not as easy for some people to concieve....................they just rub it in my face and they always ask me and DH so when isit your turn arrrrgggggh shut the hell up.

Some people should be a bit more sensitive towards us but they just treat us like invalids.

Rant over phew that feels better out than in.


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## MrsJPC

Ha - you have made my day!!

Can I just add pregnant women moaning because they can't eat certain foods. One so called friend turned to me and said, 'I can't believe you are eating poached eggs near me, that is so unfair' I wanted to scream least you are effing pregnant!! 

If I have to hear one more time how much they miss pate I may scream!!!

Thanks ladies x x x


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## Serene123

:hugs:


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## Zipp

1) Bad Parents &#8211; I can&#8217;t quite figure out why God gives babies to some people. When I see a bad parent, sometimes I want to snatch the kid and run for it.

^^

I know!!! Obviously I would never do it but it is still a thought at times. x


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## caline

My additions....

My sister turning to me when her son (who is not well disaplined) is misbehaving and saying "are you sure you want one of these"?

A girl at work telling me i must speak to her friend who had one round of IVF in Bruge and got pregnant and now has a daughter, and how great the clinic is and how i need to go there, and telling me all about her friends cycles, and how IVF works etc...when she herself conceived number one on the first month of trying, and is not pregnant with number 2, also conceived on first month of trying.

And, yes, MIL saying, after 2 failed IVF's, if I relax then it would 'just happen'. 

Oh, and also how Sis in law keeps telling me when they are going to start trying for number 2, and how they are going to time it so she doesn't have the baby at Xmas, and various other dates through the year, and yes, she conceived her daughter on 1st month of trying.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr:growlmad:

I'm liking this post. Release of fustrations!!! :thumbup:


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## Aidan's Mummy

:hugs:
xx


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## lola13

Thanks everyone for your additions. It does feel better to let it out!! Rant on!


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## Deb111

Great thread!!

Can I add mine ...

We're going for ICSI treatment as hubby has been diagnosed with azoospermia (ie. no sperm present in his SA) He has to have an op to hopefully find out that he is producing some and there's just a blockages. But equally, there's a reasonable chance that there just wont be any sperm and then we either have to adopt or think about a donor sperm

... anyway - my rant ....

If anyone else tells me to "stop worrying, it'll all be fine" I think I will slap them ... hard! There is no part of this that is fine - even if we are successful in finding sperm and getting pregnant and going full term, yes it will be incredible and worth it all, but it's still far from 'fine' ... all the drugs and intervention (which I am extremely grateful is available), the surgery, the procedures, the cost. It's not fine ... you hear about druggies getting pregnant and their babies have to be weaned off with methodone when they're born and yet 'someone' decides it's fine for them to have a baby, but not me?!

Oh and now I've got going .... I'm a christian and have had so many people say they will pray for us and I am grateful for that ... but I really have to stop myself at times just turning round and saying "what's the point? - he's let this TTC nightmare happen so why would he step in and help now" What have I ever done to deserve this? Personally I do believe there's a God out there, but I'm not convinced that me having a baby is on the top of his list of priorities :shrug:

Ooohhh that feels better :hugs: xx


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## DragonMummy

Oh crikey you've all hit the nail on the head! I know that I am fortunate enough to have a child but he was 3 years in the making (hope for us all!)and I am knocking on to 14 months this time round so I think I am allowed to join in on this occasion!

I started TTC last April. There was nobody pregnant at work at that time. There are now about 15 pregnant women, plus a good 5 or 6 off on mat leave. It is starting to take the piss quite seriously, particularly when you are having a meal break and 3 of them are in there discussing the baby kicking and how it was an accident. Yes my friends, at least half of them are unplanned. 

Vexed doesn't even cover it!


There is a small comfort (it's tiny but it's there) that when my little boy was born, I recognised the magic and wonder far more than any of the mums that took their babies for granted. He was infinately more precious because he was so unlikely. Yours will be too. 

Now all you need to do is relax and stop trying so hard.... :rofl:

Seriously, thats what a woman at work said to me on Monday. "youre trying too hard"

Er.... I don't actually ovulate so I have to take masses of hormones to force my body into it.... I don't really have a choice!!!


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## todteach

DragonMummy said:


> Seriously, thats what a woman at work said to me on Monday. "youre trying too hard"
> 
> Er.... I don't actually ovulate so I have to take masses of hormones to force my body into it.... I don't really have a choice!!!

Exactly!!! Funny how we've all heard this. And how stupid people sound (to us) when they're talking to a woman with PCOS who isn't ovulating on her own. Ummm, if I let nature take it's course, I would never be able to become pregnant. Shheeesh!


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## Deb111

"Trying too hard!!?!?!?" and "you need to relax!" I must google hubby's azoospermia again and see if I missed those 2 as being casues of hubbby's azoospermia?! :rofl::rofl: Don't you just love it?! :winkwink:


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## Frindabelle

LOVE this rant! so so so true!
xxx


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## FBbaby

My rant is about people telling me that I am still young and look so good I've still got plenty of time to get pregnant. Trying to explain that looking young and the age of your eggs are totally unrelated, all I get is 'that's rubbish'. 

I am tired of people telling me how exciting it is to be turning 40 this year, how that was their best birthday etc... for me, it is just a reminder that as time goes by, my chances of getting a bfp with IVF let alone naturally are shrinking along with my eggs. Yes my grand-mother was 45 when she had my mum and my mum was 42 when she had my sister (ntnp only 4 cycles), but my fsh levels and AFC count makes it clear that I don't have years ahead of me, especially when OH SA shows low morphology.


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## sarlar

AMEN ladies!!!


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## Deb111

FBbaby said:


> My rant is about people telling me that I am still young and look so good I've still got plenty of time to get pregnant. Trying to explain that looking young and the age of your eggs are totally unrelated, all I get is 'that's rubbish'.
> 
> I am tired of people telling me how exciting it is to be turning 40 this year, how that was their best birthday etc... for me, it is just a reminder that as time goes by, my chances of getting a bfp with IVF let alone naturally are shrinking along with my eggs. Yes my grand-mother was 45 when she had my mum and my mum was 42 when she had my sister (ntnp only 4 cycles), but my fsh levels and AFC count makes it clear that I don't have years ahead of me, especially when OH SA shows low morphology.


Yep ... my hubby's family tell me that his Grandma had twins at 45 and went back to work the next day! gggrrr :gun: Bet her hubby didn't have azoospermia!


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## lola13

Oh, yes, thanks for reminding me, ladies. I want to amend my original list with...

14) *I hate infertility for making me feel like 35+ is old*. I started ttc when I was 33, and thanks to whatever defect I have, I'm now in the age danger zone. It's made me feel old in other aspects of my life, too.


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## Frindabelle

The best one I get is "after all this treatment you could fall naturally"
Errr... I HAVE NO TUBES!! what part of that do you not get???? are you stupid? 
aarrrrgghhhh!!! 
xxx


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## Serene123

8) *Women who already have kids but act like the world is ending b/c they cant conceive #4.* This one might ruffle a few feathers, but you can hug your kids for a little comfort. Id like to experience motherhood, even if just once. I dont deny your pain is real, but hopefully you can understand my position, too.


Honestly, that won't ruffle the feathers of anyone with half a brain. TTC is really freaking hard, and I could not for a minute imagine being here, still trying 15 months later, without my little girl to squeeze when things get hard.

I hope it happens soon for you. I really do.


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## FBbaby

Serene123 said:


> 8) *Women who already have kids but act like the world is ending b/c they cant conceive #4.* This one might ruffle a few feathers, but you can hug your kids for a little comfort. Id like to experience motherhood, even if just once. I dont deny your pain is real, but hopefully you can understand my position, too.
> 
> 
> Honestly, that won't ruffle the feathers of anyone with half a brain. TTC is really freaking hard, and I could not for a minute imagine being here, still trying 15 months later, without my little girl to squeeze when things get hard.
> 
> I hope it happens soon for you. I really do.

I totally agree too. I am ttc number three and even though I would love to be a mum again, what makes me desperate for another child is my intense desire to make my new partner a dad. He would be such an amazing one. I consider myself massively lucky to be a mum already and wouldn't for one second consider myself at the same level than anyone struggling to conceive number 1.


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## serendippy

2) BFP Announcements on First Month TTC  these girls are so annoying (I recognize its not their fault, but they still bug the crap out of me).
8) Women who already have kids but act like the world is ending b/c they cant conceive #4. This one might ruffle a few feathers, but you can hug your kids for a little comfort. Id like to experience motherhood, even if just once. I dont deny your pain is real, but hopefully you can understand my position, too
-----------------------------------

These are the two that bug me altho i dont mean them too..esp point 8. I see it all the time on here, people who have got children and like u say think its the end of the world cos they are struggling to get pregnant again.
Im 43 and trying for my first.....admittedly ive only been trying just under a year but i got told today that im too old for NHS fertility treatment..so i will have to pay for everything :-(

Also another thing that bugs me is pregnant women who moan about their symptoms..yeh im sure they are feeling ill and it cant be easy but god id love to be in the position to be having pregnancy symptoms,

Sorry if ive offended anyone


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## wishful think

Frindabelle said:


> The best one I get is "after all this treatment you could fall naturally"
> Errr... I HAVE NO TUBES!! what part of that do you not get???? are you stupid?
> aarrrrgghhhh!!!
> xxx

Frindabelle I know that this was actually a miracle but i was watching a programme on sky ages ago - I think called extreme pregnancies or something like that and a woman who had had her 2 tubes removed because of ectopic pregnancies actually got pregnant. She wasnt trying for a baby as she thought she was unable to ever fall pregnant naturally (well obviously who would think they would get pregnant naturally with their tubes removed) and so wasn't using any birth control. Well the programme went on to explain that an egg was released by the woman's ovaries and somehow (A miracle) it travelled inside the body over to the part of the fallopian tube that was sewn up and somehow got in through a tiny part of the tube that wasnt sewn up properly, anyhow along came the spermy and wam bam thank u mam!!!! To be honest i was in complete shock watching it and i bawled crying through the whole thing saying "For jasus sake, i have my tubes and i cant get pregnant". Sometimes miracles do happen!!!!


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## ladypink

Hi, love this thread, im so with you ladies, here's another: "erm... I don't really know how to tell you this.. I'm really sorry... don't get upset but your brother, who is younger, not in a stable relationship etc etc.. is pregnant again by accident!!!!" "Why can't you be happy and put things in perpective... there are people dying every day and you are upset about something so small!" "Ring your brother because he's worried that you are upset!" ARRRRRAHHHHHHH! Quoting mother BTW who has been so supportive but can't say the right things!


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## Frindabelle

wishful think said:


> Frindabelle said:
> 
> 
> The best one I get is "after all this treatment you could fall naturally"
> Errr... I HAVE NO TUBES!! what part of that do you not get???? are you stupid?
> aarrrrgghhhh!!!
> xxx
> 
> Frindabelle I know that this was actually a miracle but i was watching a programme on sky ages ago - I think called extreme pregnancies or something like that and a woman who had had her 2 tubes removed because of ectopic pregnancies actually got pregnant. She wasnt trying for a baby as she thought she was unable to ever fall pregnant naturally (well obviously who would think they would get pregnant naturally with their tubes removed) and so wasn't using any birth control. Well the programme went on to explain that an egg was released by the woman's ovaries and somehow (A miracle) it travelled inside the body over to the part of the fallopian tube that was sewn up and somehow got in through a tiny part of the tube that wasnt sewn up properly, anyhow along came the spermy and wam bam thank u mam!!!! To be honest i was in complete shock watching it and i bawled crying through the whole thing saying "For jasus sake, i have my tubes and i cant get pregnant". Sometimes miracles do happen!!!!Click to expand...


Wow! that's awesome! Awwww what a lovely story :) 

I just think some should invent artifical tubes! 
xxx


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## elsie2010

omg girls, you made my day! please can I join in? :)



> BFP Announcements on First Month TTC  these girls are so annoying (I recognize its not their fault, but they still bug the crap out of me).

 totally agree! this annoys me along with my newly married best friend who's never tried and is not trying to get pg, telling me that i just need to relax, even though her new SIL has had ivf and she is aware we're struggling. I did gentle say to her that it was lucky I was feeling strong that day or I really would have been in tears.



> 8) Women who already have kids but act like the world is ending b/c they cant conceive #4.

 especially want to punch the woman on the 'one show' this week who had 5 beautiful boys but she was depressed that she couldn't choose the sex of her baby and choose a girl. You have 5 beautiful boys, be grateful for what you do have!



> Also another thing that bugs me is pregnant women who moan about their symptoms..yeh im sure they are feeling ill and it cant be easy but god id love to be in the position to be having pregnancy symptoms,

 very much agree, and also when they now have their baby's and what a horrible, sleep deprived world they live in. Sorry but I would love to stay up all night comforting my baby who needs me. and if it even does happen and i complain then please feel free to slap me!

apologies if I've offended anyone, but I do feel better that I'm not alone in feeling like this.


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## lola13

Just though of another one

*Self Centered People on Mothers Day* - The holiday itself is lovely, and I always celebrate my beautiful mom. However, I never go to church that Sunday - is anyone aware that some of us are fighting back tears or avoiding church completely? Also, strangers that wish you a happy mother's day. This year I heard someone tell a cashier "Happy Mothers Day". The cashier responded, "OK, if it were applicable", to which the stranger responded with the most annoying perkiness "Oh, it is!!"...hello, clueless and selfish, the woman was trying to tell you something!!


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## Blue12

ladypink said:


> Hi, love this thread, im so with you ladies, here's another: "erm... I don't really know how to tell you this.. I'm really sorry... don't get upset but your brother, who is younger, not in a stable relationship etc etc.. is pregnant again by accident!!!!" "Why can't you be happy and put things in perpective... there are people dying every day and you are upset about something so small!" "Ring your brother because he's worried that you are upset!" ARRRRRAHHHHHHH! Quoting mother BTW who has been so supportive but can't say the right things!

I am with you on this one. My brother in a very new relationship had a baby and when I went to visit when the baby was 3 days old they said they want to try again right away. Like F*ing stab in the heart. They know my situation. Ugh... so now I know that the announcement is likely just around the corner.:growlmad:


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## mrssunshine78

this is a great thread makes you feel like you are not completely alone, nearly all of my good friends have children, the only ones who don't are the single ones, one of my friends complains about her 2 kids all the time (she knows we're trying), another falls preg just by having sex once in a month!!! she said (she didn't know we were trying at the time) i don't know why people use ov tests and stuff i can give u the exact date and time i got preg cos we'd only had sex once that month!!!!! once my god - i was stunned! the are also quite unhealthy. another friend said maybe we weren't having enough sex - how i didn't punch her in the face i do not know - i just glared at her and said i think every other day for the past 2 yrs is quite often enough!!


arrggggg i hate ttc


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## pinklightbulb

:hugs:


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## chefamy1122

I don't really have anything extra to add....just want to agree with everything that has already been said.


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## caline

Being told I am 'brave' for having IVF. Like, what else am I going to do?!?! 
Love this thread, we should keep it going and add stuff as it crops up, which it does for me most days!


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## wishicould

:cry:My OH has 3 kids, I have none, blocked tubes n PCOS! Its not easy. I havn't told anyone, even my family about my situation because I can't bear to discuss it. I even tell ppl that I don't really like kids to stop them asking awkward questions:growlmad::. Sometims it's just too hard even gettin up:sleep:! I don't have anyone to talk too n I'm sick of being asked when I'm going to have a baby! Why do people make so may assumptions? x:cry:


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## wishicould

caline said:


> Being told I am 'brave' for having IVF. Like, what else am I going to do?!?!
> Love this thread, we should keep it going and add stuff as it crops up, which it does for me most days!

I hope the IVF goes well and it works for you. I sincerely hope you get ur baby :thumbup:


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## wishicould

lola13 said:


> Just though of another one
> 
> *Self Centered People on Mothers Day* - The holiday itself is lovely, and I always celebrate my beautiful mom. However, I never go to church that Sunday - is anyone aware that some of us are fighting back tears or avoiding church completely? Also, strangers that wish you a happy mother's day. This year I heard someone tell a cashier "Happy Mothers Day". The cashier responded, "OK, if it were applicable", to which the stranger responded with the most annoying perkiness "Oh, it is!!"...hello, clueless and selfish, the woman was trying to tell you something!!


I hate mothers day, especially as previously I have ended up buying OH kids mum a present from them! I would love to b able to celebrate it


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## rchurchlow

Wow, it is so good to see it is not just me that feels all of the above!!! My friend tells me that she will try for a baby next month as she knows that she will obviously fall pregnant the first month (even though she has no children at the moment)....obviously!!! Silly fool! 

Then you get those women who were on the TV documentary the other night '8 boys and wanting a girl' who come out with stupid comments like...and I quote,
'by having 4 boys and not having a girl I feel exactly like all of those women out there who cannot have children...I know exactly how they feel and I feel the same'....oh, of course you do!!!

Sorry guys it's just that people like that just wind me up, I was shouting at the TV and so was my O/H. We couldn't go to sleep that night as we were both so wound up and furious.....the joys of spending yrs and yrs TTC!


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## rchurchlow

oh and another classic....

OH to mother: 'We cannot have children naturally, been told by the hosp so the only 
chance we have is to have IVF'
Mother: 'Oh lovely....you will have twins now then!'

Oh how their lives are so simple!


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## caline

I am also sick to death of being asked if I've got kids, do I want kids, etc etc. I am a midwife and so get asked this on a daily basis. I wish there was an easy, simple answer to give. 

It usually goes...

"Have you got children"?

"No"

"Would you like to have children"?

"Yes"

"But not at the moment"?

?!***!!?!?!*!*!!!?

What the f am I supposed to say to that?!?!?!?!? :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:


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## sarlar

ive got a new statement to add to the rant. my good friend from college called to day and asked, "are you pregnant yet??" i said no not yet and she so oh i was hoping you were cause i am!!" ugh... they were not even ttc and in fact she told me she isnt really excited yet !!


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## R&G2007

I so know where you're coming from. 

Sending you hugs


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## Serene123

Not sure if I'm allowed to post in this thread having a little girl, but it's my first miscarriages due date tomorrow and no one seems to remember. My mum came in to tell me a woman who had her baby girl a year after I had mine is due to have a boy in 4 weeks. 

I am fed up of every single person (even those who know about my miscarriages) telling me I'm being cruel for not having another baby yet, asking when I'm having another or demanding Igive them a grandson / have a boy.


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## Leilani

I like this thread.

My rant is people who know/assume we are TTC, as we only got married 9 months ago (and we're not spring chickens), and they try and engage you in a conversation trying to determine if you are pregnant yet, and they think they are being subtle. Things like:

"What's news for you two?"
"Have you got any plans for Christmas?"
"So and so had a baby - that's good isn't it..."
"Anything else going on?"

To ask one of the questions would be normal, but they always ask them all.

I've had quite a social weekend this weekend - caught up with 3 sets of friends (seperately) that I've not seen in a couple of months - so I found myself going out of my way making sure they knew I wasn't ptregnant to avoid their questions and sympathetic looks. Drinking coffee, have runny poached eggs, talking about drinking (even though I hardly drink at the best of times)

One of my friends annoys me the most, twice she conceived the first month of trying, she's 4 years older than me, and she says "You'll fall soon". I'm not fallling anywhere, it's not like tripping over, it's not an accident!!!!!!!

Rant over.

Actually (and maybe this should be a whole new thread, maybe it already is), but do any of you have a good comeback you use when insensitives inquire about you being pregnant yet? - don't you just love the "yet" - it doesn't add anything to the question, other than emphasising it's taking longer than we'd like!


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## FBbaby

Leilani, I get the same questions. Many of my friends know that we were trying since I got a miscarriage last year. I get the subtle and the straight forward questions. For the first, I usually respond right away 'no, not much going on, still no pregnant' laughing, at the second, when asked if I am pregnant yet, I just reply 'I wish' still laughing. That usually ends the discussion!


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## Lou32

I'd like to add:
-Smug couples with kids who talk about the hardships they have to go through like getting up early/watching kids TV etc and then patronizing you by saying - at least you get to have a sleep in/it must be nice to have so much time on your hands. Do they honestly think this makes me feel better? Do they have no idea how lucky they are?

-Friends with children who organise social occasions around their children and don't invite me because I'm childless. THEN they moan about not being invited to things any more as they have babies...Total B****CKS and, like my earlier point, do they have any idea how lucky they are?!

-People you told about your problems TTC who now constantly ask when your next period is and when your next appointment is and how it's gone etc. I WILL TELL YOU WHEN I HAVE NEWS. STOP ASKING!! In fact one valuable lesson learned here, don't tell anyone you don't have to. I obviously didn't think it would take so long when I first alluded to the fact I wanted to start a family.


----------



## Whitbit22

Wish I had not been so open with some of my family- but I wanted to know what they did! Turns out my cousin went off bc and the same week was pregnant. Now all I hear is "you should wait, you're so young!"

its my life!!!!

I may be young, but I have been infertile for 3 years- about to graduate college and my heart is not in it at all. I want a family! I will be deciding when-- not anyone else!

Also, some people who want to party who have young children and tell me to wait. I started partying at 16-and at 23 I am over it. You chose to be a parent so be one! Im not saying I wont ever drink.. But Id have a priority if I had kids--them!


----------



## jwelmel

When my mum tells me all she had to do was f*** once and after her 8 abortions,2 still borns and 2 children, i tend to wonder where my genes are from....

When my neighbour did an abortion recently as she was not ready for her second,i wonder whether she was ready for her first child itself as the parents took the 7 year old to Vegas instead of Disney.:growlmad:


----------



## Whitbit22

Oh, have mercy! 

I once had a friend who had an abortion and told the WHOLE town. When her sis found out I said something to our mutual friend about it she flipped on me. Now I proudly wear a LOVE LETS LIVE Tshirt I ordered from abort73.com.. Hope I see her next time I'm wearing it. 

I get that under some circumstances, for SOME people, its the better option.. but when you're out floozing around all the time and partying it up and dont even care to use any kind of bc.. thats sad.


----------



## LonelyLullaby

I was at my sisters house a few years ago and she had a friend there who was visiting. I had never met the friend before (but she knew all about our family through my sister) and she was asking me if I was married, if I had children, I said "no, I havent got any children", are you trying ? "Yes, but it hasnt happened yet", and my sister (who makes everyones life difficult in the family) said, laughing, "Are you sure you're doing it the right way ??!!!!" - They both thought this was hilarious while I wanted the floor to swallow me up. 
If people cant be nice why cant they just SHUT UP !!!!

There are close friends of mine and my husband and the wife is a career woman, never talked about wanting children, is very independant and always wants her own way - she got her own way by falling pregnant at 40 on their wedding night. (I am a carer for a family member in my home, so my home is my workplace). I said to this woman when she was pregnant whether she would be giving up work to care for her baby, and she said, while looking down her nose at me "Oh no, im not the type to stay at home with a baby". She made it sound like the worst thing in the world !!! They have quite a bit of money so they could have managed her not working, even if she only took a year off. The baby is just another thing ticked off on her to do list.
There is a joke I say to my husband when we talk about this woman, and it cheers me up when im feeling down and im in this TTC fog :
"......(womans name)........, creating jobs for childminders since 2010" !!! .... Its not a great joke, i know, but it makes me smile when I need it !!!

P.S. pleeease working mothers this was not a put down to you, so please dont take offence xx


----------



## Starbright

Whitbit22 said:


> Oh, have mercy!
> 
> I once had a friend who had an abortion and told the WHOLE town.

A friend of mine had a miscarriage and the day that she came back to work after her d&c (hope I've got that right??) one of her colleagues was bragging about having an abortion the next day. I appreciate abortions can be the right decision for people, but she knew full well about my mate's m/c - show some f******g discretion!

I can't watch the news at the moment because there ALWAYS seems to be a story about child abuse, neglect, violence against kids. 

Getting asked "are you sure you want one of these" really pees me off. Similarly, people who go "well you can have one of mine!" It's NOT funny! It just annoys me. Y'know what?? I would LOVE one of yours. I would give anything to have that and you don't know how lucky you are :growlmad:

And finally AAAAARRRRGH!!

Sorry - it's really getting to me today.

Massive hugs to those who need them :hugs:


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## Whitbit22

Thats awful! Some people are just insensitive and care about no one but themselves!



Starbright said:


> Getting asked "are you sure you want one of these" really pees me off. Similarly, people who go "well you can have one of mine!" It's NOT funny! It just annoys me. Y'know what?? I would LOVE one of yours. I would give anything to have that and you don't know how lucky you are :growlmad:

I get those things all the time. They just don't get it. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life! I guess you can never make someone understand infertility--they have to have gone through it. I wish theyd be more sensitive though..
:hugs:


----------



## Catwoman83

OMG Thank you to the creator of this thread. Ok my rant here goes...I hate that fact that I am well established, home, partner, financial stablity but friends and family that are not even employed are blessed to have babies very easy, some not even planned and either they are having them and struggling or having abortions, I have friends that have children almost teenagers and we are only 27, I haven't even endured an accident, at least with a possible, or chemical at least I would have known I could conceive, doctors are not properly diagonising me, I know I have pcos, I have tried everything in the book ( natural) and I am very apprehensive on trying medical assistance, I so want to conceive naturally. I get depressed and cry because I just dont know what the issue is. Why me!!!!! I get sort of jealous when I hear about people I know having babies, not because I am not happy for them, but because I havent conceived yet I want to be apart pf the team!!!


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## lochbride

Loving this thread. 

My additions are being particularly annoyed by male colleagues who tell me 'not to leave it too late' - hmm, I'm quite sure that 18 months ttc is as close as trying not to leave anything too late as it gets so stick it. And other, entirely well meaning friends who I meet up with and tell me, 'ooh I hoped when I saw you, there might be a bump' - yeh? Really? That would be nice, I totally agree. Idiots. 

People are also quite crap at picking these things up. 'You'd look lovely with a bump', 'you'd make a lovely Mum' and other such wonderfully nice things to hear that I don't know how to repond to except laugh it off and say 'one day' - when you are at your wits end and would quite like them all to f. off.

Good luck everyone, don't let them grind you down ;) xx


----------



## Leilani

Lochbride - you should just reply to these people "And you don't look so good with your foot in your mouth" and see if they get it! If not, shake your head and saying "unbeliveable"


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## MarsMaiden

I hate the fact that I have worked for everything in my life. I went to school and got a degree so I could get a good job, we saved hard and worked so that we could buy our own home. If we set our minds to anything, we have been able to plan for and achieve it. But now the one thing that should be the easiest and most natural thing of all is defeating us and there is absoutely nothing we can do about it. I can't work harder, study harder, be a better person etc etc to make me get pregnant, I feel so frustrated that its out of my control.

I also hate that my journey to a child is dictated by the whim of a FS who has seen me twice in a year and a half and refuses to listen to any of my concerns. And that they also dictate my treatment and I don't get to have any input at all. My life is in their hands and they just do not seem to realise or appreciate that fact.


----------



## Leila Fae

This thread is just what I needed to read today! I'm in a major grump for many reasons and it feels good to know that I'm not alone.

Right now I'm just so frustrated. 3 months ago I had to order my bridesmaids dress 2 sizes larger than I need because my sister is getting married in 3 months and I had to cover the possibility that I could be up to 6 months pregnant at the wedding. Of course I'm now dreading going for the dress fitting and having to have the thing taken in. I know that sounds so petty and at least I have the wedding to go to but its all these little things which are starting to get on top of me. That and waiting to hear if our referral to the FS has been accepted.

I know others have said it but I still can't get my head around how easy some people find it to get pregnant. My mother included! She tried twice and has 2 daughters. We're at the stage that people are on their second pregnancies while we're still working on our first. Right now it just makes me want to scream. No doubt I'll get over myself! :dohh: 

I make a conscious effort to count my blessings and to remind myself of all the things I have achieved in the last 2 years which I couldn't have done but even so I feel so weary with it all.

Oops, a bit of an essay! Moan over!


----------



## TTC#1inMN

Leila Fae said:


> This thread is just what I needed to read today! I'm in a major grump for many reasons and it feels good to know that I'm not alone.
> 
> Right now I'm just so frustrated. 3 months ago I had to order my bridesmaids dress 2 sizes larger than I need because my sister is getting married in 3 months and I had to cover the possibility that I could be up to 6 months pregnant at the wedding. Of course I'm now dreading going for the dress fitting and having to have the thing taken in. I know that sounds so petty and at least I have the wedding to go to but its all these little things which are starting to get on top of me. That and waiting to hear if our referral to the FS has been accepted.
> 
> I know others have said it but I still can't get my head around how easy some people find it to get pregnant. My mother included! She tried twice and has 2 daughters. We're at the stage that people are on their second pregnancies while we're still working on our first. Right now it just makes me want to scream. No doubt I'll get over myself! :dohh:
> 
> I make a conscious effort to count my blessings and to remind myself of all the things I have achieved in the last 2 years which I couldn't have done but even so I feel so weary with it all.
> 
> Oops, a bit of an essay! Moan over!

It seriously sucks to get lapped! Yuck! I got lapped by my BIL and his wife quicky. They had baby and 8 wks after delivery found out they were pregnant with #2. SERIOUSLY!? Could it be an easier. AHHH! My DH has 8 nieces and nephews and ALL were conceived month #1. What the heck. Plus, 2 more are on the way. It's just makes you feel broken. 

I think we deserve to vent on this forum, at least we get it. :) I love this thread!


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## elsie2010

my rant has two elements to it.

having an evil period after spotting for 9 days sucks. it feels like i never get time to catch my breath. AF for 6 days, trying to get over another failed cycle. BD for a week and a bit and feeling the hope and excitement that this might be the month. Then the 2WW symptoms spotting and trying to keep my emotions level, hoping, dreaming, praying, planning. then it all falls apart again so quickly, the moment that temp goes down I have to accept that it's over.

and lapping, oh i'm so glad i've found a word for it now, i know this is going to happen with my two closest friends. i got an email this week from a colleague to say she's pg, i don't know her story but does it make me a bad person to wish it was me announcing our pregnancy.


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## Catwoman83

elsie2010 said:


> my rant has two elements to it.
> 
> having an evil period after spotting for 9 days sucks. it feels like i never get time to catch my breath. AF for 6 days, trying to get over another failed cycle. BD for a week and a bit and feeling the hope and excitement that this might be the month. Then the 2WW symptoms spotting and trying to keep my emotions level, hoping, dreaming, praying, planning. then it all falls apart again so quickly, the moment that temp goes down I have to accept that it's over.
> 
> and lapping, oh i'm so glad i've found a word for it now, i know this is going to happen with my two closest friends. i got an email this week from a colleague to say she's pg, i don't know her story but does it make me a bad person to wish it was me announcing our pregnancy.

:hugs::dust::dust::dust:


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## kelly brown

we been ttc 3 years x2 micarriage i totally agree you also missed out girls smoking and drinking/drugs whlist pregant when people like me who does none of than cannot concieve and when i do losses it life is very cruel xxx


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## hopes fading

Ladies, I love this thread, you make me feel human. A friend at work (who I also sit next to) has just announced that she is pregnant and they she wasn't even trying. It makes me so upset and the world feels like one big unfair place. The irony is that I will probably be the lucky person who gets to cover her workload while she is on maternity leave!!!


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## Tulip77

Lola, I am with you...What you've written is all what is in my mind...YOu just spoke out what I thought and thinking...Thank you so much...You see we both are in the same boat, hence I know exactly where your coming from.

Take care hun... and hope you will have your lil one sooonnnn...I am still ttc...10 yrs...with unexplained infertility & ofcourse DH has antisperm antibody...

Hoping to have ICSI in Feb'11. Fingers crossed.

Cheers
Tulip.


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## lola13

Thank you, Tulip :)

UPDATE: After all of my ranting, I have a (very, very, very) little bun in the oven! Clomid + IUI was the magic combination. 

Best of luck to all my fellow ranters!


----------



## hopes fading

lola13 said:


> Thank you, Tulip :)
> 
> UPDATE: After all of my ranting, I have a (very, very, very) little bun in the oven! Clomid + IUI was the magic combination.
> 
> Best of luck to all my fellow ranters!

Congratulations - it's lovely to hear of someone finally getting what they have wanted for so long :-D Very pleased for you. X


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## Leila Fae

YAY! Congratulations Lola!


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## Starbright

Congrats Lola! That's fab news xx


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## Catwoman83

lola13 said:


> Thank you, Tulip :)
> 
> UPDATE: After all of my ranting, I have a (very, very, very) little bun in the oven! Clomid + IUI was the magic combination.
> 
> Best of luck to all my fellow ranters!


:happydance::hugs:


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## Serene123

Congratulations xx


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## maaybe2010

Congrats hun! :hugs:

There's a post I have just read in TTC were a woman, already with two children is complaining that she is finding TTC very hard this time round. 
She's on her second, *SECOND* cycle :shock:


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## Deb111

Family members who know the problems we're going through and spend every minute we're out making comments like ...
"aww look at that gorgeous little baby"
" that little one's looking at you - I think he's trying to get your attention"
"have you ever seen such a sweet little baby?"

:hissy::ignore:


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## daisy31

Love this thread! my Sister in law has said she cant possibly book a holiday with us in three months time because she will be pregnant by then (married a few weeks ago). She then looked me up and down and said "I would have thought you would want to be pregnant by then too"..... I do, I do, i do!!!


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## jwelmel

Continuing the rant...

I hate those girls who bitch and moan about ovulating one or two days earlier / later..try no ovulation or ovulating on day 40 of your cycle...
I hate that my cousin who was the b***h of our town has a 1.5 yr old son that she flaunts..yes i meant it...she flaunts or facebook..family gettogethers ..everywhere..
I hate that Oh doesnt care abt this as much as i do...
I hate the fact that this is totally out of my control...


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## EmmyReece

I hate the fact that my brother's girlfriend who keeps making me feel crap about my size will probably be the one to give my mum her first grandchild.

I hate the fact that my cousin tells me to relax and take my time "it'll happen when it happens"

I hate the fact that one of my friends has had 3 babies by 3 different dads.

And above all I hate people who are trying for baby number 5 or 6 and start moaning about how long it's taking them compared to their others!!! :growlmad:


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## patch1

I need to vent. Was not on any chemical bith control only condoms and diaphragm. Have been TTC for 9 montsh now with no success. Had blood tests- i ovulate, have regular 28 cycles (although since ttc they have been longer) partners sperm count is fine, had a scan of my womb- no visible problems so why hasnt it happened? Its not fair since i have been trying someone new in my life has been pregnant every month. My sister with her second, My Doctor would you believe when i went to see her about having trouble TTC! My partners brothers Girlfriend, My partners best frineds girlfrined, one of my closest friends, a girl at work, various people on the dreaded facebook. Its like it wil never happen what is wrong with me? then people make horrible comments like you two are trying so hard you will end up having 8! or they laugh when i tell them another person is pregnant- why is this happening to me? every month it gets worse, have tried OPKs, preseed it doesnt work and i cant go back to the doctors until after 12 months now to be referred to a specialist. I just feel like i will never be a mum and it is so bloody unfair that everyone else around me falls pregnant at the drop of a hat i feel like i am that 1 in 7 that will never experience motherhood otherwise why hasnt it happened for me yet. There must be something wrong as i wasnt even on any chemical contraceptive. I am fed of people and their comments. I feel like i have noone to talk to i am fed up of being in this position. I went on facebook today and an old school friend who already has two children is pregnant with her third. WTF! Where is the justice in that i only want 1. I have never been pregnant or had an abortion or miscarriage i just feel like i am living a nightmare i just wish it wasnt happening to me. It is such a tremendous strain on me and my relationship. I try to forget about it but as soon as someone announces another pregnancy i am back down in the dumps i feel so helpless i am so fed up i really dont know ho wmuch more of this i can take it is the worst experience i have ever ever had the misforune to go through and it only gets worse every month.


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## Sash

...so glad I found this site. Struggling to keep things together today!
TTC for 6 years, me and dh both 30. I have low amh but good quality eggs due to my age, 2 failed IVF cycles, one just last month. 

Just found out today that two of my friends are pregnant and one of my colleagues, and another colleague just had a baby today. I have been feeling very composed and pragmatic about everything but today it's just hit me like a brick. Not many people know we're trying so struggle to find anyone to speak to. DH is rapidly losing interest and now not even willing to try naturally (hasn't been since we embarked on IVF). I just feel I'm falling apart a bit....

Just needed somewhere to vent, so thanks. x


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## hopes fading

Sash said:


> ...so glad I found this site. Struggling to keep things together today!
> TTC for 6 years, me and dh both 30. I have low amh but good quality eggs due to my age, 2 failed IVF cycles, one just last month.
> 
> Just found out today that two of my friends are pregnant and one of my colleagues, and another colleague just had a baby today. I have been feeling very composed and pragmatic about everything but today it's just hit me like a brick. Not many people know we're trying so struggle to find anyone to speak to. DH is rapidly losing interest and now not even willing to try naturally (hasn't been since we embarked on IVF). I just feel I'm falling apart a bit....
> 
> Just needed somewhere to vent, so thanks. x

So sorry to hear of your situation; I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I am hoping that DH is just feeling negative at the moment but will come back around again. LTTC is hard enough without the added misery of other peoples pregnancies. I feel terrible most of the time for feeling like this but unless I know that someone has had some difficulty conceiving, then I find it almost impossible to be pleased about their pregnancies. I guess it's just the nature of the beast.

I hope your luck changes and somehow you get your BFP. X


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## Deb111

Sash said:


> DH is rapidly losing interest and now not even willing to try naturally (hasn't been since we embarked on IVF). I just feel I'm falling apart a bit....
> 
> Just needed somewhere to vent, so thanks. x

I hear you on this one! We found out nearly 5 months ago that he has azoospemia - he's not been near me since :nope: It's getting to me today too - especially as he always says he's too tired, yet spends endless hours on bloody facebook!

I hope things improve for you soon xx


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## hollee

OMG this thread is just brilliant....im sorry but this could be a long rant

im 3 years ttc, one failed icsi & am 2 days into 2wk wait of FET - 2 snow babies transferred on thurs so feeling very up & down

i hate the fact that since ive started ttc 15 women have fallen pregnant 2 of which are on their 2nd - so i have to listen to alot of pregnant talk & then baby talk. All these women fell pregnant within first few months

people coming in to show off their babies - everyone crowds around them cooing & if im having a bad day & just can't face it i get one of 'those' looks making me feel horrible because i couldn't face holding their 4wk old baby 

being left out of things because apart from 1 single friend im the only childless person

being told to relax & chill out - im sorry but i actually have a medical condition that stops me getting pregnant

a pregnant woman in work asked what side effects im getting while on ivf and after explaining some of them - teary, moody, headaches etc she went on to say that its all things she's going through in her pregnancy & that ill be used to it ----HELLOO at least you have a baby which makes it all so worth it

listening to people worry about having an ugle baby WTF get some bl00dy perspective

finding out a friend that already has 3 children had an abortion because she couldn't handle a 4th....well im sorry but you know how babies are made use protection

knowing my SIL does everything she can to get anyone to look after her 2 kids coz she can't be bothered

another friend of mine who has had 2 abortions & now has 2 beautiful girls says if i can't have any that she'll be happy to be my surrogate as she can pop them out - great just the thing i want to hear how fabulous you are at falling pregnant

i think i better stop now although there is lots more to burst out, its good to know that when things happen im not getting upset just because im being sensitive its because other people are being so insensitve

sorry for the loooooonnnnngggg rant x


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## ermm23a

So my best friend and I had a shopping outing today in another town, and we stopped by her 94 year old grandmother's house on our way back. 

The 94 year old proceeded to ask me why I've been married 5 years and don't have children yet. I was kind of taken aback.... but I laughed it off and said, I'm working on it. To which she replied, "Oh, God just hasn't blessed you yet?" And I just kind of looked at her. Then she said, "You do know that we are supposed to 'be fruitful and multiply, don't you?" 

My friend quickly changed the subject, and I know the old lady didn't mean anything ugly by it. She's known me for years, and I guess she is just at that age where she thinks she can say anything to anyone..... It kind of got me down though. 

and I couldn't reply back with anything snarky to her. because she is so old.


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## Bradpittswife

Sorry to hi-jack this thread- not sure if I am classed as long term as it's only been 16 months but I feel out of place in the other forums especially when people start to moan about how they are not pregnant and they have been trying for two months. So here is my rant.
Conflicting advice about when to see a doctor- a year.. 18 months...2 years I just wish someone would make it clear!
Being told I'm still young- no I'm not I'm 32 not 22!
My stupid friend who keeps asking me if I've considered adoption- WTF!! Or telling me to talk to my mother and ask about infertility (My Mum knows nothing about TTC- we are not that close) I am one of 7, my sis is having her 5th My Mum is one of 8. I don't think it takes a genius to work out we have no family history! Or the fact that she seems to think it's ok to tell me that me and dh would make such good parents and she knows it will happen soon. Oh really well while you are looking in the crystal ball can you give me the winning lottery numbers as well! It's not helpful, supportive or kind so FUCK OFF!!
The lack of control and not knowing- if I just knew it was going to happen at some point then at least I could relax a little.
The fact that my life feels like it is on hold.
Sorry, I know some of you have been trying much longer and probably think about me in the same way I think about the people who complain after trying for two months lol!


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## hopes fading

Well, Bradpittswife; that's at least something to smile about, no?!

I agree with all your points, well said!

When we had been trying for less than a year and hadn't yet seen a FS, one particular friend (who is a mother so should understand the workings of a womans body) used to ask me at least once a week if there was any news? I mean, how could I have my period one week and find out I am pregnant the next?! She also used to keep telling me to ask the Dr for clomid. As it turns out, I just started taking clomid this month but back then there was no real reason for anyone to assume we needed assistance; it was just taking us a little while to conceive. She also knows someone who has adopted recently and someone else who is attempting IVF and talks to me about it constantly, as though I am in the same situation. It maddens me! Yes, we have unexplained fertility but I still like to think we are some way off IVF and a long way off thinking about adoption. Of course those options are amazing and should the need arise, I am sure we will be grateful to have them. But for heavens sake!
I work with this girl and another girl we work with recently announced an unplanned pregnancy (I had a rant many pages back)! It has been traumatic for me watching her grow big, it really has. Anyway, the original girl I mention has blatantly talked about the other girls bump all day long, loudly, standing by my desk at times! It feels personal now, as though she is really trying to rub my nose in the fact that we can't conceive. Hasten to add we are no longer friends, just poilte colleagues and thank goodness, she has just resigned! We just don't need these unkind people in our lives, it just adds to an already sad and stressfull time in our lives...


----------



## Bradpittswife

I don't know if she thinks she is being helpful or what, I guess it's like anything it's difficult to understand until it happens to you! How long have you been TTC?


----------



## hopes fading

We started trying Aug/Sept 2008, had a mmc in Feb 09 and nothing since then. Half way through 1st cycle with clomid and praying it works, though haven't detected OV yet... Have you seen FS yet?


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## Bradpittswife

No I have to wait apparently! My cycles have not been regular but doc doesn't think there are any issues as....... I am still young lol! Initially couldn't see a doc and was patronised by a nurse practicioner then had another appointment with a lovely nurse for a smear and she booked me in to see a very nice young lady doc. I rather naively thought it would just happen so have now started basic charting etc but I am reluctant to go whole way as I think I could become very obsessive about it. Been investigated for PCOS due to going 3 months with no periods had lots of blood tests, a tv scan which found a structure... then had a week of freaking that I had a tumour! Saw gyn at hospital who prescribed provera and also had a look inside and did a scrape that was in March. Periods still not regular and I am back with him in October so will see what he says. Not sure if to go back to GP or wait as they did initially say they wouldn't be able to do anything until we had been trying two years.Been trying since April 09. If I 'd have known it was this difficult I wouldn't have been so obsessively careful for the past 15 plus years


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## maaybe2010

Bradpittswife your doctor sounds like an ass!!
We got referred to a FS after trying for 12 or 13 months and we were 20 and 22.

:flow: x x x x


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## Bradpittswife

maaybe2010 :hugs: that made me laugh as I can just picture a donkey as my doc! It seems like there are no hard and fast rules as to when you get referred which is so frustrating. Getting to see a doc at my surgery is hard enough as you have to get past the receptionists from hell who demand a full description and then judge that it's a nurse thing not a doc thing! Grrrr
Who knew that trying to have a baby would be so hard :-(


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## maaybe2010

Gosh it sounds awful :(
My doctors are really good, if I rang up now I would get an appointment for later if not tomorrow for definate :(

I know!
I really thought it would be easier than this.

:hugs:


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## sequeena

Thank the lord for this thread.

I am so fed up of hearing pregnant friends say 'I want this baby out!' when they're around 33 weeks. I would give anything to be in their position!

My sister had 7 children at the drop of a hat and only one lives with her!! What's wrong with me? :cry:

I'm fed up of people brushing off my losses as if they don't count because they were both early losses and then saying 'you're young, you've got plenty of time', 'there was something wrong with it obviously' 'oh but that's not really a miscarriage' and 'relax!! It will happen when you least expect it'

Really? REALLY?!

All of those people are either pregnant or have children of their own!

I'm just fed up of it all. I feel like I'm becoming a horrible person but I cannot sympathise with whinging pregnant women anymore. The latest one was a friend who had a craving late at night and automatically expected her partner to go out and get her what she wanted! 'I'm pregnant so I'm milking it' :growlmad:

ETA: SIL just gave birth (she is OHs step sister) and his dad said he was so proud that she gave him the one thing she wanted. That really really hurt and then I got really angry because it was his birthday the week before and he didn't even receive a birthday text.


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## Bradpittswife

sequeena :hugs:
I am so with you on feeling like you are a horrible person lol!


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## sequeena

Bradpittswife said:


> sequeena :hugs:
> I am so with you on feeling like you are a horrible person lol!

:hugs: I really do feel terrible but then I think 'they obviously don't care how I'm feeling so why should I!' which is true!


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## Bradpittswife

You shouldn't feel bad, you can't help the way you feel and it's not like you are doing anything to hurt them in any way- they are probably completely oblivious to your thoughts! I think as long as you don't start harassing random pregnant women in the street then you don't have anything to worry about ;-)


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## sequeena

Bradpittswife said:


> You shouldn't feel bad, you can't help the way you feel and it's not like you are doing anything to hurt them in any way- they are probably completely oblivious to your thoughts! I think as long as you don't start harassing random pregnant women in the street then you don't have anything to worry about ;-)

God no, I comply avoid them!


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## maaybe2010

I'm turning into a horrible person too. . . 
I'm anrgy at pregnant woman (I don't harrass them in the street though^^ :haha:)
Everyone keeps telling me that I shouldn't be, but I am :(
At a party Saturday night and there was a woman there due in January the same as I should of been and she didn't plan her baby didn't want it at first and already has a child. I was just sat there like wow, what do I have? Nothing. Grrrrr!!!

My OH keeps saying why do you care so much about other people and I'm like because they have I what I want and he just doesn't get it. . . .

I spoke to a friend I haven't spoken to in aggges and she had a baby last year (after three months off the pill).
Turns out she had got pregnant by accident again when the baby was 6 months. . . 
It was twins, she lost one and chose to lose the other.
I felt sick.

Ovbiously I told her all about what's happened with us and she was like well at least you know that getting pregnant isn't the problem. . it took us 14 months :wacko:
Now I know there are people out there that take much, much longer than that but for me 16 months is a long time and does indicate a problem in getting pregnant.
She also said well you go out a lot (I friggin do not!!!!) so maybe you should drink less, I could not believe it!! I've drank twice this month (one was my 21st) and once last month and that's a lot for me. . . . 
I just wish she had been supportive rather than trying to act like she knew it all!

God that rant felt good O:)


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## hollee

Bradpittswife said:


> So here is my rant.
> Conflicting advice about when to see a doctor- a year.. 18 months...2 years I just wish someone would make it clear!

i have a confession i lied....exagerated....bended the truth just a little to my doctor & although id only been trying for 8mths i told my doc i had been trying for 13mths just to get seen quicker....i knew deep down something was wrong & wanted to get sorted, though i never thought id get to the 3year mark 

try telling your doc a porkie pie or 2 :blush: esp as he's such a ass


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## Bradpittswife

I have already told them when we started trying so sadly I don't think it will work. It just seems so unfair as it depends on where you live and who your doc is. I just keep hoping and counting down the days till October!


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## Cuffy

Yes, yes, yes this thread hits the nail on the head!! From my least charitable thoughts to the are you fricking stupid moments! Such as today having told my friend my tubes were blocked leaving me pretty much sterile she reassured me with "well once you've had an ivf baby you will definitely have one naturally" Erm how do you suppose the egg is getting fertilised or getting to my uterus exactly?!! Still she cannot help the fact she has managed to conceive three beautiful babies in the time I have been trying and always apologises whilst beaming at me-just aswell I love the daft bat to bits eh!


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## Bradpittswife

Sorry guys I feel another rant coming on...
This rant is aimed at me- this week I found out a very old friend is pregnant from a donor egg. Whilst I am overjoyed for her, I had a little cry for myself and then felt mean. This tcc thing is so not bringing out the best in me!


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## Oniongirl

Hello all. This is my first post. In fact I joined just so I could post it. 
I'm 32. TTC for 2.5 years. I have thyroid disease, which is under control, and my husband has a barely low sperm count. We are unexplainable. And I'm quite tired of it. So here goes my own rant. 

1. Why can't you tell me why I'm not pregnant yet?
2. Why do my best gal friends get it all? They get the family AND the dream house. I can't afford the dream house because I'm trying to pay for a family. 
3. Why did my husband's company decide to cancel our fertility coverage and charge us retroactively for IUIs?
4. Why am I volunteering to be the birth partner for my single girlfriend with major endometriosis who got pregnant the FIRST time with donor sperm?
5. Why can't I be grateful to have the one son I have? Why am I so sad at the thought of him having no family when we're dead and gone?
6. Why did my friends who used IVF the first time each (yes, all of them) get pregnant accidentally the second time?
7. When will my mother stop telling me that yoga will fix all my problems?
8. When will sex be fun?
9. Why are IUIs and IVF so much like Vegas? You Gamble every time, and the house is always favored to win. 
10. When will *I* be the one to have it all?

I realize I sound petty and childish. My final rant would be that I hate feeling petty and childish inside. 

Thanks for listening. It's been a bad day around here.


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## Whitbit22

I'm so sorry honey. :hugs: The most deserving are always the last to finish.

I have a rant of my own. I have had falling-outs with a few assholes as I like to call them now, for being so insensitive and braggarts. Here's what I'd like to say to them: :finger:

Next, I'd like to say what I wish I'd just go ahead and say to a certain person.

Why do you want to add me on FB only after finding out I just lost my baby after trying for 3 years to get pregnant, when I havent seen you in WAY longer than that. Are you that desperate to get the dirty details of my depressing experience? Do you want to rub it in my face that it's "not that bad" afterall you did choose to tell the whole world about your abortion like it was your birthday. BABYKILLING BEYOTCH!! EFF OFF AND STOP SENDING ME EMPTY FRIEND REQUESTS! 3 in one day? You must be nosier than I thought.


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## sequeena

Another cycle starting here. Now I'm facing a month (and more) of things to do with court then the trial starts on the 29th.

I suppose, thinking about it logically being pregnant right now with this stress would be to much.

But I want it so bad :cry:


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## Deb111

Oniongirl - never feel petty and childish on here - especially in this thread - this TTC lark is a b*tch :hugs:


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## Bradpittswife

Hugs to you all xx


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